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[Illustration]
[Illustration]

“A little saint with a color more lightful than orange”

“A little saint with a color brighter than orange”

CABBAGES AND KINGS

by O. HENRY

Author of “The Four Million,” “The Voice of the City,”
“The Trimmed Lamp,” “Strictly Business,” “Whirligigs,” Etc.


“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
    “To talk of many things;
Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax,
    And cabbages and kings.”

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
    “To talk about many things;
Like shoes and ships and sealing-wax,
    And cabbages and kings.”

THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER

THE WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER

THE PROEM
BY THE CARPENTER

They will tell you in Anchuria, that President Miraflores, of that volatile republic, died by his own hand in the coast town of Coralio; that he had reached thus far in flight from the inconveniences of an imminent revolution; and that one hundred thousand dollars, government funds, which he carried with him in an American leather valise as a souvenir of his tempestuous administration, was never afterward recovered.

They'll tell you in Anchuria that President Miraflores of that unstable republic committed suicide in the coastal town of Coralio; that he was fleeing from the troubles of an upcoming revolution; and that one hundred thousand dollars in government funds, which he carried in an American leather suitcase as a memento of his turbulent presidency, was never found again.

For a real, a boy will show you his grave. It is back of the town near a little bridge that spans a mangrove swamp. A plain slab of wood stands at its head. Some one has burned upon the headstone with a hot iron this inscription:

For a real, a boy will show you his grave. It's behind the town near a small bridge that crosses a mangrove swamp. A simple wooden slab marks its head. Someone has burned this inscription onto the headstone with a hot iron:

RAMON ANGEL DE LAS CRUZES
Y MIRAFLORES
PRESIDENTE DE LA REPUBLICA
DE ANCHURIA
QUE SEA SU JUEZ DIOS

RAMON ANGEL DE LAS CRUZES
Y MIRAFLORES
PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC
OF ANCHURIA
MAY GOD BE HIS JUDGE

It is characteristic of this buoyant people that they pursue no man beyond the grave. “Let God be his judge!”—Even with the hundred thousand unfound, though greatly coveted, the hue and cry went no further than that.

It’s typical of these lively people that they don’t chase after anyone beyond the grave. “Let God be his judge!”—Even with the hundreds of thousands missing, who are deeply desired, the search didn’t go any further than that.

To the stranger or the guest the people of Coralio will relate the story of the tragic end of their former president; how he strove to escape from the country with the public funds and also with Doña Isabel Guilbert, the young American opera singer; and how, being apprehended by members of the opposing political party in Coralio, he shot himself through the head rather than give up the funds, and, in consequence, the Señorita Guilbert. They will relate further that Doña Isabel, her adventurous bark of fortune shoaled by the simultaneous loss of her distinguished admirer and the souvenir hundred thousand, dropped anchor on this stagnant coast, awaiting a rising tide.

To visitors or outsiders, the people of Coralio tell the story of the tragic end of their former president; how he tried to flee the country with public funds and also with Doña Isabel Guilbert, the young American opera singer; and how, when caught by members of the opposing political party in Coralio, he shot himself in the head rather than surrender the money and, consequently, Doña Isabel. They will also share that Doña Isabel, her hopes dashed by the simultaneous loss of her notable admirer and the hundred thousand dollars, dropped anchor on this stagnant shore, waiting for better times.

They say, in Coralio, that she found a prompt and prosperous tide in the form of Frank Goodwin, an American resident of the town, an investor who had grown wealthy by dealing in the products of the country—a banana king, a rubber prince, a sarsaparilla, indigo, and mahogany baron. The Señorita Guilbert, you will be told, married Señor Goodwin one month after the president’s death, thus, in the very moment when Fortune had ceased to smile, wresting from her a gift greater than the prize withdrawn.

They say that in Coralio, she quickly found a good opportunity with Frank Goodwin, an American living in town who had made his fortune investing in local products—a banana king, a rubber prince, and a baron of sarsaparilla, indigo, and mahogany. You’ll hear that Señorita Guilbert married Señor Goodwin just one month after the president died, taking a gift even greater than the one Fortune had taken away at that very moment.

Of the American, Don Frank Goodwin, and of his wife the natives have nothing but good to say. Don Frank has lived among them for years, and has compelled their respect. His lady is easily queen of what social life the sober coast affords. The wife of the governor of the district, herself, who was of the proud Castilian family of Monteleon y Dolorosa de los Santos y Mendez, feels honoured to unfold her napkin with olive-hued, ringed hands at the table of Señora Goodwin. Were you to refer (with your northern prejudices) to the vivacious past of Mrs. Goodwin when her audacious and gleeful abandon in light opera captured the mature president’s fancy, or to her share in that statesman’s downfall and malfeasance, the Latin shrug of the shoulder would be your only answer and rebuttal. What prejudices there were in Coralio concerning Señora Goodwin seemed now to be in her favour, whatever they had been in the past.

Of the American, Don Frank Goodwin, and his wife, the locals only have good things to say. Don Frank has lived among them for years and has earned their respect. His wife is easily the queen of the social life along the quiet coast. The governor's wife, who comes from the proud Castilian family of Monteleon y Dolorosa de los Santos y Mendez, feels honored to unfold her napkin with olive-toned, ringed hands at Señora Goodwin’s table. If you were to bring up (with your northern biases) Mrs. Goodwin’s lively past when her bold and cheerful performances in light opera caught the attention of the older president, or her involvement in that statesman’s downfall and wrongdoings, the locals would just give a Latin shrug as your only response. Whatever prejudices there were in Coralio about Señora Goodwin seemed to now work in her favor, regardless of what they might have been before.

It would seem that the story is ended, instead of begun; that the close of tragedy and the climax of a romance have covered the ground of interest; but, to the more curious reader it shall be some slight instruction to trace the close threads that underlie the ingenuous web of circumstances.

It seems like the story is finished instead of starting; that the end of a tragedy and the peak of a romance have taken care of the interesting parts. However, for the more curious reader, it will be a bit informative to follow the subtle connections that lie beneath the clever mixture of circumstances.

The headpiece bearing the name of President Miraflores is daily scrubbed with soap-bark and sand. An old half-breed Indian tends the grave with fidelity and the dawdling minuteness of inherited sloth. He chops down the weeds and ever-springing grass with his machete, he plucks ants and scorpions and beetles from it with his horny fingers, and sprinkles its turf with water from the plaza fountain. There is no grave anywhere so well kept and ordered.

The headstone with the name of President Miraflores is cleaned every day with soap bark and sand. An old mixed-race Indian takes care of the grave with dedication and the slow thoroughness of inherited laziness. He cuts down the weeds and never-ending grass with his machete, removes ants, scorpions, and beetles from it with his rough fingers, and waters the grass with water from the plaza fountain. There isn’t a grave anywhere that is so well maintained and tidy.

Only by following out the underlying threads will it be made clear why the old Indian, Galvez, is secretly paid to keep green the grave of President Miraflores by one who never saw that unfortunate statesman in life or in death, and why that one was wont to walk in the twilight, casting from a distance looks of gentle sadness upon that unhonoured mound.

Only by tracing the underlying connections will it become clear why the old Indian, Galvez, is secretly paid to tend to the grave of President Miraflores by someone who never met that unfortunate leader, either in life or death, and why this person would often walk in the twilight, glancing from afar with a gentle sadness at that unrecognized burial site.

Elsewhere than at Coralio one learns of the impetuous career of Isabel Guilbert. New Orleans gave her birth and the mingled French and Spanish creole nature that tinctured her life with such turbulence and warmth. She had little education, but a knowledge of men and motives that seemed to have come by instinct. Far beyond the common woman was she endowed with intrepid rashness, with a love for the pursuit of adventure to the brink of danger, and with desire for the pleasures of life. Her spirit was one to chafe under any curb; she was Eve after the fall, but before the bitterness of it was felt. She wore life as a rose in her bosom.

Elsewhere from Coralio, we learn about the bold life of Isabel Guilbert. She was born in New Orleans, where the mix of French and Spanish Creole culture filled her life with excitement and passion. Although she had little formal education, she seemed to have an instinctive understanding of people and their motives. She was much more than an ordinary woman; she had fearless recklessness, a love for adventure that often took her to the edge of danger, and an appetite for life's pleasures. Her spirit couldn't be contained; she was like Eve after the fall, but before the pain set in. She embraced life like a rose held close to her heart.

Of the legion of men who had been at her feet it was said that but one was so fortunate as to engage her fancy. To President Miraflores, the brilliant but unstable ruler of Anchuria, she yielded the key to her resolute heart. How, then, do we find her (as the Coralians would have told you) the wife of Frank Goodwin, and happily living a life of dull and dreamy inaction?

Of the many men who had pursued her, it was said that only one was lucky enough to win her affection. To President Miraflores, the charming but unpredictable leader of Anchuria, she gave access to her steadfast heart. So, how do we see her (as the Coralians would put it) as the wife of Frank Goodwin, living a life of content but boring inaction?

The underlying threads reach far, stretching across the sea. Following them out it will be made plain why “Shorty” O’Day, of the Columbia Detective Agency, resigned his position. And, for a lighter pastime, it shall be a duty and a pleasing sport to wander with Momus beneath the tropic stars where Melpomene once stalked austere. Now to cause laughter to echo from those lavish jungles and frowning crags where formerly rang the cries of pirates’ victims; to lay aside pike and cutlass and attack with quip and jollity; to draw one saving titter of mirth from the rusty casque of Romance—this were pleasant to do in the shade of the lemon-trees on that coast that is curved like lips set for smiling.

The connections stretch out far, reaching across the sea. Following them will reveal why “Shorty” O’Day from the Columbia Detective Agency left his job. And as a lighthearted activity, it will be both a duty and a fun adventure to wander with Momus under the tropical stars where Melpomene once walked solemnly. Now, to make laughter ring out from those lush jungles and steep cliffs, where the cries of pirates' victims once echoed; to put aside weapons and engage with jokes and cheer; to coax a genuine laugh from the rusty armor of Romance—this would be enjoyable to do in the shade of the lemon trees along that coastline, which curves like lips ready to smile.

For there are yet tales of the Spanish Main. That segment of continent washed by the tempestuous Caribbean, and presenting to the sea a formidable border of tropical jungle topped by the overweening Cordilleras, is still begirt by mystery and romance. In past times buccaneers and revolutionists roused the echoes of its cliffs, and the condor wheeled perpetually above where, in the green groves, they made food for him with their matchlocks and toledos. Taken and retaken by sea rovers, by adverse powers and by sudden uprising of rebellious factions, the historic 300 miles of adventurous coast has scarcely known for hundreds of years whom rightly to call its master. Pizarro, Balboa, Sir Francis Drake, and Bolivar did what they could to make it a part of Christendom. Sir John Morgan, Lafitte and other eminent swash-bucklers bombarded and pounded it in the name of Abaddon.

For there are still stories of the Spanish Main. That part of the continent washed by the stormy Caribbean, with a tough border of tropical jungle and the towering Cordilleras, is still surrounded by mystery and romance. In the past, buccaneers and revolutionaries echoed through its cliffs, while the condor circled above where, in the green groves, they provided food for him with their guns and swords. Taken and retaken by pirates, rival powers, and sudden uprisings of rebellious groups, the historic 300 miles of adventurous coastline hasn’t really known for hundreds of years who to call its true master. Pizarro, Balboa, Sir Francis Drake, and Bolivar did what they could to make it a part of Christendom. Sir John Morgan, Lafitte, and other famous pirates attacked and bombarded it in the name of chaos.

The game still goes on. The guns of the rovers are silenced; but the tintype man, the enlarged photograph brigand, the kodaking tourist and the scouts of the gentle brigade of fakirs have found it out, and carry on the work. The hucksters of Germany, France, and Sicily now bag its small change across their counters. Gentleman adventurers throng the waiting-rooms of its rulers with proposals for railways and concessions. The little opéra-bouffe nations play at government and intrigue until some day a big, silent gunboat glides into the offing and warns them not to break their toys. And with these changes comes also the small adventurer, with empty pockets to fill, light of heart, busy-brained—the modern fairy prince, bearing an alarm clock with which, more surely than by the sentimental kiss, to awaken the beautiful tropics from their centuries’ sleep. Generally he wears a shamrock, which he matches pridefully against the extravagant palms; and it is he who has driven Melpomene to the wings, and set Comedy to dancing before the footlights of the Southern Cross.

The game continues. The rovers' guns are quiet, but the tintype photographer, the oversized photo thief, the snapshot-taking tourist, and the scouts of the gentle brigade of tricksters have figured it out and are carrying on. The vendors from Germany, France, and Sicily are now raking in the small change behind their counters. Adventurers in suits crowd the waiting rooms of its leaders with proposals for railroads and contracts. The little opéra-bouffe nations play at politics and scheming until one day a big, silent gunboat appears in the distance, warning them not to break their toys. With these changes also comes the small-time adventurer, eager to fill his empty pockets, light-hearted and imaginative—the modern fairy prince, bringing an alarm clock with which, more reliably than through a romantic kiss, to wake the beautiful tropics from their centuries-long slumber. Typically, he wears a shamrock, proudly contrasting it with the lavish palms; and it is he who has pushed Melpomene off stage and made Comedy dance in front of the spotlight of the Southern Cross.

So, there is a little tale to tell of many things. Perhaps to the promiscuous ear of the Walrus it shall come with most avail; for in it there are indeed shoes and ships and sealing-wax and cabbage-palms and presidents instead of kings.

So, there’s a little story to share about many things. Maybe the open-minded Walrus will find it the most interesting; because it includes shoes, ships, sealing wax, cabbage palms, and presidents instead of kings.

Add to these a little love and counterplotting, and scatter everywhere throughout the maze a trail of tropical dollars—dollars warmed no more by the torrid sun than by the hot palms of the scouts of Fortune—and, after all, here seems to be Life, itself, with talk enough to weary the most garrulous of Walruses.

Add a bit of love and scheming, and spread a trail of tropical dollars throughout the maze—dollars warmed not just by the blazing sun but also by the eager palms of Fortune’s scouts—and, ultimately, this appears to be Life itself, with enough chatter to wear out even the most talkative Walrus.

I
“FOX-IN-THE-MORNING”

Coralio reclined, in the mid-day heat, like some vacuous beauty lounging in a guarded harem. The town lay at the sea’s edge on a strip of alluvial coast. It was set like a little pearl in an emerald band. Behind it, and seeming almost to topple, imminent, above it, rose the sea-following range of the Cordilleras. In front the sea was spread, a smiling jailer, but even more incorruptible than the frowning mountains. The waves swished along the smooth beach; the parrots screamed in the orange and ceiba-trees; the palms waved their limber fronds foolishly like an awkward chorus at the prima donna’s cue to enter.

Coralio lounged in the midday heat, like a beautiful woman relaxing in a protected harem. The town sat at the edge of the sea on a stretch of fertile coastline. It looked like a small pearl in a green setting. Behind it, the sea-following range of the Cordilleras rose, towering and almost about to collapse over it. In front, the sea spread out like a smiling jailer, even more unyielding than the stern mountains. The waves lapped against the smooth beach; the parrots screeched in the orange and ceiba trees; the palms waved their flexible fronds foolishly, like an awkward chorus waiting for the lead actress’s cue to come on stage.

Suddenly the town was full of excitement. A native boy dashed down a grass-grown street, shrieking: “Busca el Señor Goodwin. Ha venido un telégrafo por el!

Suddenly, the town was buzzing with excitement. A local boy raced down a grassy street, shouting, “Look for Mr. Goodwin. A telegram has come for him!

The word passed quickly. Telegrams do not often come to anyone in Coralio. The cry for Señor Goodwin was taken up by a dozen officious voices. The main street running parallel to the beach became populated with those who desired to expedite the delivery of the despatch. Knots of women with complexions varying from palest olive to deepest brown gathered at street corners and plaintively carolled: “Un telégrafo por Señor Goodwin!” The comandante, Don Señor el Coronel Encarnación Rios, who was loyal to the Ins and suspected Goodwin’s devotion to the Outs, hissed: “Aha!” and wrote in his secret memorandum book the accusive fact that Señor Goodwin had on that momentous date received a telegram.

The word spread quickly. Telegrams aren't something that usually arrive in Coralio. The call for Señor Goodwin was echoed by a dozen eager voices. The main street, which runs parallel to the beach, filled up with people wanting to speed up the delivery of the message. Groups of women, with skin tones ranging from the lightest olive to the darkest brown, gathered at street corners and sadly sang: “Un telégrafo por Señor Goodwin!” The comandante, Don Señor el Coronel Encarnación Rios, who was loyal to the Ins and suspicious of Goodwin’s loyalty to the Outs, sneered: “Aha!” and noted in his secret memo book that Señor Goodwin had, on that important date, received a telegram.

In the midst of the hullabaloo a man stepped to the door of a small wooden building and looked out. Above the door was a sign that read “Keogh and Clancy”—a nomenclature that seemed not to be indigenous to that tropical soil. The man in the door was Billy Keogh, scout of fortune and progress and latter-day rover of the Spanish Main. Tintypes and photographs were the weapons with which Keogh and Clancy were at that time assailing the hopeless shores. Outside the shop were set two large frames filled with specimens of their art and skill.

In the middle of the commotion, a man stepped to the door of a small wooden building and looked out. Above the door was a sign that said “Keogh and Clancy”—a name that didn’t seem to belong to that tropical area. The man in the doorway was Billy Keogh, a fortune-seeker and modern-day adventurer of the Spanish Main. Tintypes and photographs were the tools with which Keogh and Clancy were at that time trying to conquer the struggling shores. Outside the shop were two large frames filled with examples of their art and skill.

Keogh leaned in the doorway, his bold and humorous countenance wearing a look of interest at the unusual influx of life and sound into the street. When the meaning of the disturbance became clear to him he placed a hand beside his mouth and shouted: “Hey! Frank!” in such a robustious voice that the feeble clamour of the natives was drowned and silenced.

Keogh leaned in the doorway, his confident and playful expression showing interest in the unusual activity and noise in the street. Once he figured out what was causing the commotion, he cupped his hand around his mouth and yelled, “Hey! Frank!” with such a booming voice that it completely drowned out the weak chatter of the locals.

Fifty yards away, on the seaward side of the street, stood the abode of the consul for the United States. Out from the door of this building tumbled Goodwin at the call. He had been smoking with Willard Geddie, the consul, on the back porch of the consulate, which was conceded to be the coolest spot in Coralio.

Fifty yards away, on the ocean side of the street, stood the home of the consul for the United States. Goodwin rushed out of the building at the call. He had been smoking with Willard Geddie, the consul, on the back porch of the consulate, which was considered to be the coolest spot in Coralio.

“Hurry up,” shouted Keogh. “There’s a riot in town on account of a telegram that’s come for you. You want to be careful about these things, my boy. It won’t do to trifle with the feelings of the public this way. You’ll be getting a pink note some day with violet scent on it; and then the country’ll be steeped in the throes of a revolution.”

“Hurry up,” shouted Keogh. “There’s a riot in town because of a telegram that’s come for you. You need to be careful about these things, my boy. It doesn’t help to mess with the public’s feelings like this. One day you’ll receive a pink note with a violet scent on it; and then the country will be in the middle of a revolution.”

Goodwin had strolled up the street and met the boy with the message. The ox-eyed women gazed at him with shy admiration, for his type drew them. He was big, blonde, and jauntily dressed in white linen, with buckskin zapatos. His manner was courtly, with a sort of kindly truculence in it, tempered by a merciful eye. When the telegram had been delivered, and the bearer of it dismissed with a gratuity, the relieved populace returned to the contiguities of shade from which curiosity had drawn it—the women to their baking in the mud ovens under the orange-trees, or to the interminable combing of their long, straight hair; the men to their cigarettes and gossip in the cantinas.

Goodwin walked up the street and met the boy with the message. The women with wide eyes looked at him with shy admiration because he was their type. He was big, blonde, and stylishly dressed in white linen, wearing buckskin zapatos. He had a polite demeanor mixed with a sort of friendly toughness, softened by a compassionate gaze. Once the telegram was delivered and the messenger was sent off with a tip, the relieved crowd returned to the shaded areas that curiosity had pulled them from—the women resumed their baking in the mud ovens under the orange trees, or continued combing their long, straight hair; the men went back to their cigarettes and chatting in the cantinas.

Goodwin sat on Keogh’s doorstep, and read his telegram. It was from Bob Englehart, an American, who lived in San Mateo, the capital city of Anchuria, eighty miles in the interior. Englehart was a gold miner, an ardent revolutionist and “good people.” That he was a man of resource and imagination was proven by the telegram he had sent. It had been his task to send a confidential message to his friend in Coralio. This could not have been accomplished in either Spanish or English, for the eye politic in Anchuria was an active one. The Ins and the Outs were perpetually on their guard. But Englehart was a diplomatist. There existed but one code upon which he might make requisition with promise of safety—the great and potent code of Slang. So, here is the message that slipped, unconstrued, through the fingers of curious officials, and came to the eye of Goodwin:

Goodwin sat on Keogh’s doorstep and read his telegram. It was from Bob Englehart, an American who lived in San Mateo, the capital city of Anchuria, eighty miles inland. Englehart was a gold miner, a passionate revolutionary, and “good people.” His resourcefulness and creativity were evident in the telegram he sent. He needed to send a private message to his friend in Coralio. This couldn’t be done in either Spanish or English because the political surveillance in Anchuria was intense. The Ins and the Outs were always on guard. But Englehart was savvy. There was only one code he could use that would ensure his safety—the powerful code of Slang. So, here’s the message that slipped, undetected, through the hands of curious officials and reached Goodwin:

His Nibs skedaddled yesterday per jack-rabbit line with all the coin in the kitty and the bundle of muslin he’s spoony about. The boodle is six figures short. Our crowd in good shape, but we need the spondulicks. You collar it. The main guy and the dry goods are headed for the briny. You know what to do.

His Nibs took off yesterday like a rabbit with all the money in the pot and the bundle of fabric he’s infatuated with. The cash is six figures short. Our crew is in good shape, but we need the cash. You handle it. The main guy and the supplies are headed for the ocean. You know what to do.

BOB.

BOB.

This screed, remarkable as it was, had no mystery for Goodwin. He was the most successful of the small advance-guard of speculative Americans that had invaded Anchuria, and he had not reached that enviable pinnacle without having well exercised the arts of foresight and deduction. He had taken up political intrigue as a matter of business. He was acute enough to wield a certain influence among the leading schemers, and he was prosperous enough to be able to purchase the respect of the petty office-holders. There was always a revolutionary party; and to it he had always allied himself; for the adherents of a new administration received the rewards of their labours. There was now a Liberal party seeking to overturn President Miraflores. If the wheel successfully revolved, Goodwin stood to win a concession to 30,000 manzanas of the finest coffee lands in the interior. Certain incidents in the recent career of President Miraflores had excited a shrewd suspicion in Goodwin’s mind that the government was near a dissolution from another cause than that of a revolution, and now Englehart’s telegram had come as a corroboration of his wisdom.

This rant, impressive as it was, held no mystery for Goodwin. He was the most successful member of the small group of ambitious Americans that had invaded Anchuria, and he hadn't reached that enviable position without effectively using his skills in foresight and deduction. He had taken up political maneuvering as a business. He was sharp enough to have some influence among the top schemers, and he was well-off enough to earn the respect of the minor bureaucrats. There was always a revolutionary party, and he had always aligned himself with it; the supporters of a new administration reaped the rewards of their efforts. Right now, there was a Liberal party trying to unseat President Miraflores. If their plan was successful, Goodwin stood to gain a concession for 30,000 manzanas of the best coffee land in the interior. Recent events in President Miraflores's administration had sparked a clever suspicion in Goodwin's mind that the government was on the brink of collapse for reasons other than revolution, and now Englehart's telegram had confirmed his suspicions.

The telegram, which had remained unintelligible to the Anchurian linguists who had applied to it in vain their knowledge of Spanish and elemental English, conveyed a stimulating piece of news to Goodwin’s understanding. It informed him that the president of the republic had decamped from the capital city with the contents of the treasury. Furthermore, that he was accompanied in his flight by that winning adventuress Isabel Guilbert, the opera singer, whose troupe of performers had been entertained by the president at San Mateo during the past month on a scale less modest than that with which royal visitors are often content. The reference to the “jack-rabbit line” could mean nothing else than the mule-back system of transport that prevailed between Coralio and the capital. The hint that the “boodle” was “six figures short” made the condition of the national treasury lamentably clear. Also it was convincingly true that the ingoing party—its way now made a pacific one—would need the “spondulicks.” Unless its pledges should be fulfilled, and the spoils held for the delectation of the victors, precarious indeed, would be the position of the new government. Therefore it was exceeding necessary to “collar the main guy,” and recapture the sinews of war and government.

The telegram, which the Anchurian linguists struggled to understand despite their knowledge of Spanish and basic English, delivered exciting news to Goodwin. It told him that the president of the republic had fled the capital city with the treasury's money. Additionally, he was accompanied by the charming adventuress Isabel Guilbert, the opera singer, whose troupe had been hosted by the president in San Mateo over the past month in a manner more extravagant than typically reserved for royal visitors. The mention of the “jack-rabbit line” could only refer to the mule-back transport system used between Coralio and the capital. The note that the “boodle” was “six figures short” made the dire state of the national treasury painfully clear. It was also undeniably true that the incoming group—now on a peaceful path—would need the “spondulicks.” If their promises weren’t met and the spoils weren’t set aside for the victors, the new government would be in a precarious situation. Thus, it was absolutely vital to “collar the main guy” and regain control of the resources needed for war and governance.

Goodwin handed the message to Keogh.

Goodwin passed the message to Keogh.

“Read that, Billy,” he said. “It’s from Bob Englehart. Can you manage the cipher?”

“Read that, Billy,” he said. “It’s from Bob Englehart. Can you decode it?”

Keogh sat in the other half of the doorway, and carefully perused the telegram.

Keogh sat in the other half of the doorway and carefully read the telegram.

“’Tis not a cipher,” he said, finally. “’Tis what they call literature, and that’s a system of language put in the mouths of people that they’ve never been introduced to by writers of imagination. The magazines invented it, but I never knew before that President Norvin Green had stamped it with the seal of his approval. ’Tis now no longer literature, but language. The dictionaries tried, but they couldn’t make it go for anything but dialect. Sure, now that the Western Union indorses it, it won’t be long till a race of people will spring up that speaks it.”

“It’s not a code,” he said finally. “It’s what they call literature, and that’s a system of language put into the mouths of people that they’ve never met, created by imaginative writers. The magazines started it, but I never knew that President Norvin Green had given it his stamp of approval. It’s no longer literature, but just language. The dictionaries tried, but they couldn’t classify it as anything but dialect. Now that Western Union backs it, it won’t be long before a whole group of people will emerge that speaks it.”

“You’re running too much to philology, Billy,” said Goodwin. “Do you make out the meaning of it?”

“You're focusing too much on philology, Billy,” Goodwin said. “Do you understand what it means?”

“Sure,” replied the philosopher of Fortune. “All languages come easy to the man who must know ’em. I’ve even failed to misunderstand an order to evacuate in classical Chinese when it was backed up by the muzzle of a breech-loader. This little literary essay I hold in my hands means a game of Fox-in-the-Morning. Ever play that, Frank, when you was a kid?”

“Sure,” replied the philosopher of Fortune. “All languages come easy to someone who needs to learn them. I’ve even managed not to misunderstand an order to evacuate in classical Chinese when it was backed up by the barrel of a breech-loader. This little literary essay I’m holding means a game of Fox-in-the-Morning. Ever played that, Frank, when you were a kid?”

“I think so,” said Goodwin, laughing. “You join hands all ’round, and—”

“I think so,” said Goodwin, laughing. “You all hold hands, and—”

“You do not,” interrupted Keogh. “You’ve got a fine sporting game mixed up in your head with ‘All Around the Rosebush.’ The spirit of ‘Fox-in-the-Morning’ is opposed to the holding of hands. I’ll tell you how it’s played. This president man and his companion in play, they stand up over in San Mateo, ready for the run, and shout: ‘Fox-in-the-Morning!’ Me and you, standing here, we say: ‘Goose and the Gander!’ They say: ‘How many miles is it to London town?’ We say: ‘Only a few, if your legs are long enough. How many comes out?’ They say: ‘More than you’re able to catch.’ And then the game commences.”

“You don’t,” interrupted Keogh. “You’ve got a great sporting game mixed up with ‘All Around the Rosebush.’ The spirit of ‘Fox-in-the-Morning’ doesn’t involve holding hands. Let me explain how it’s played. This guy who’s the president and his play partner stand over in San Mateo, ready for the run, and shout: ‘Fox-in-the-Morning!’ You and I, standing here, say: ‘Goose and the Gander!’ They ask: ‘How many miles is it to London town?’ We reply: ‘Only a few, if your legs are long enough. How many come out?’ They say: ‘More than you can catch.’ And then the game begins.”

“I catch the idea,” said Goodwin. “It won’t do to let the goose and gander slip through our fingers, Billy; their feathers are too valuable. Our crowd is prepared and able to step into the shoes of the government at once; but with the treasury empty we’d stay in power about as long as a tenderfoot would stick on an untamed bronco. We must play the fox on every foot of the coast to prevent their getting out of the country.”

“I get it,” said Goodwin. “We can't let the goose and gander get away, Billy; their feathers are too valuable. Our group is ready and capable of stepping in for the government right away; but with the treasury empty, we'd hold onto power for about as long as a newbie can last on a wild bronco. We have to be clever at every turn to keep them from escaping the country.”

“By the mule-back schedule,” said Keogh, “it’s five days down from San Mateo. We’ve got plenty of time to set our outposts. There’s only three places on the coast where they can hope to sail from—here and Solitas and Alazan. They’re the only points we’ll have to guard. It’s as easy as a chess problem—fox to play, and mate in three moves. Oh, goosey, goosey, gander, whither do you wander? By the blessing of the literary telegraph the boodle of this benighted fatherland shall be preserved to the honest political party that is seeking to overthrow it.”

“According to the mule-back schedule,” Keogh said, “it takes five days to get down from San Mateo. We have plenty of time to set up our outposts. There are only three places along the coast where they could possibly sail from—here, Solitas, and Alazan. Those are the only spots we need to protect. It’s as simple as a chess problem—fox to move, and checkmate in three moves. Oh, silly goose, where are you wandering? Thanks to the literary telegraph, the wealth of this troubled country will be saved for the honest political party that’s trying to bring it down.”

The situation had been justly outlined by Keogh. The down trail from the capital was at all times a weary road to travel. A jiggety-joggety journey it was; ice-cold and hot, wet and dry. The trail climbed appalling mountains, wound like a rotten string about the brows of breathless precipices, plunged through chilling snow-fed streams, and wriggled like a snake through sunless forests teeming with menacing insect and animal life. After descending to the foothills it turned to a trident, the central prong ending at Alazan. Another branched off to Coralio; the third penetrated to Solitas. Between the sea and the foothills stretched the five miles breadth of alluvial coast. Here was the flora of the tropics in its rankest and most prodigal growth. Spaces here and there had been wrested from the jungle and planted with bananas and cane and orange groves. The rest was a riot of wild vegetation, the home of monkeys, tapirs, jaguars, alligators and prodigious reptiles and insects. Where no road was cut a serpent could scarcely make its way through the tangle of vines and creepers. Across the treacherous mangrove swamps few things without wings could safely pass. Therefore the fugitives could hope to reach the coast only by one of the routes named.

The situation was accurately described by Keogh. The road from the capital was always a tiring one to navigate. It was a bumpy journey; cold and hot, wet and dry. The trail climbed steep mountains, twisted around daunting cliffs, plunged through icy streams, and slithered like a snake through dark forests full of dangerous insects and animals. After reaching the foothills, it split into three paths, with the middle one ending at Alazan. One branch led to Coralio; the other went to Solitas. Between the sea and the foothills stretched a five-mile stretch of alluvial coast. Here, tropical plants thrived in their most lush and abundant forms. Some spots had been cleared from the jungle and planted with bananas, sugarcane, and orange trees. The rest was a chaotic mass of wild vegetation, home to monkeys, tapirs, jaguars, alligators, and large reptiles and insects. Where no path was made, a snake could barely navigate through the tangle of vines and creepers. Across the dangerous mangrove swamps, very few things without wings could safely cross. Therefore, the fugitives could only hope to reach the coast by one of the routes mentioned.

“Keep the matter quiet, Billy,” advised Goodwin. “We don’t want the Ins to know that the president is in flight. I suppose Bob’s information is something of a scoop in the capital as yet. Otherwise he would not have tried to make his message a confidential one; and besides, everybody would have heard the news. I’m going around now to see Dr. Zavalla, and start a man up the trail to cut the telegraph wire.”

“Keep this under wraps, Billy,” Goodwin advised. “We don’t want the authorities to know that the president is on the move. I guess Bob’s info is still a big deal in the capital. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have tried to make his message confidential; plus, everyone would already know. I’m heading over to see Dr. Zavalla now and send someone up the trail to cut the telegraph wire.”

As Goodwin rose, Keogh threw his hat upon the grass by the door and expelled a tremendous sigh.

As Goodwin stood up, Keogh tossed his hat onto the grass by the door and let out a huge sigh.

“What’s the trouble, Billy?” asked Goodwin, pausing. “That’s the first time I ever heard you sigh.”

"What’s wrong, Billy?" asked Goodwin, pausing. "That's the first time I've ever heard you sigh."

“’Tis the last,” said Keogh. “With that sorrowful puff of wind I resign myself to a life of praiseworthy but harassing honesty. What are tintypes, if you please, to the opportunities of the great and hilarious class of ganders and geese? Not that I would be a president, Frank—and the boodle he’s got is too big for me to handle—but in some ways I feel my conscience hurting me for addicting myself to photographing a nation instead of running away with it. Frank, did you ever see the ‘bundle of muslin’ that His Excellency has wrapped up and carried off?”

“It's the last one,” said Keogh. “With that sad gust of wind, I accept a life of commendable but frustrating honesty. What are tintypes, really, compared to the chances of the great and funny group of ganders and geese? Not that I’d want to be a president, Frank—and the money he’s got is way too much for me to manage—but in some ways, I feel guilty for tying myself to photographing a nation instead of taking charge of it. Frank, have you ever seen the ‘bundle of muslin’ that His Excellency has wrapped up and taken away?”

“Isabel Guilbert?” said Goodwin, laughing. “No, I never did. From what I’ve heard of her, though, I imagine that she wouldn’t stick at anything to carry her point. Don’t get romantic, Billy. Sometimes I begin to fear that there’s Irish blood in your ancestry.”

“Isabel Guilbert?” Goodwin said, laughing. “No, I never did. From what I've heard about her, I imagine she wouldn't hesitate to do anything to get her way. Don’t get all sentimental, Billy. Sometimes I start to worry that you have some Irish blood in your family tree.”

“I never saw her either,” went on Keogh; “but they say she’s got all the ladies of mythology, sculpture, and fiction reduced to chromos. They say she can look at a man once, and he’ll turn monkey and climb trees to pick cocoanuts for her. Think of that president man with Lord knows how many hundreds of thousands of dollars in one hand, and this muslin siren in the other, galloping down hill on a sympathetic mule amid songbirds and flowers! And here is Billy Keogh, because he is virtuous, condemned to the unprofitable swindle of slandering the faces of missing links on tin for an honest living! ’Tis an injustice of nature.”

“I never saw her either,” Keogh continued; “but they say she’s got all the ladies from mythology, sculpture, and fiction turned into posters. They say she can look at a guy once, and he’ll turn into a monkey and climb trees to pick coconuts for her. Just imagine that president guy with Lord knows how many hundreds of thousands of dollars in one hand, and this muslin siren in the other, racing downhill on a sympathetic mule surrounded by songbirds and flowers! And here I am, Billy Keogh, because I’m virtuous, stuck with the pointless scam of making mockeries of missing links on tin for a living! It’s an injustice of nature.”

“Cheer up,” said Goodwin. “You are a pretty poor fox to be envying a gander. Maybe the enchanting Guilbert will take a fancy to you and your tintypes after we impoverish her royal escort.”

“Cheer up,” said Goodwin. “You’re really not much of a fox if you’re envying a gander. Maybe the charming Guilbert will take a liking to you and your tintypes after we leave her royal escort broke.”

“She could do worse,” reflected Keogh; “but she won’t. ’Tis not a tintype gallery, but the gallery of the gods that she’s fitted to adorn. She’s a very wicked lady, and the president man is in luck. But I hear Clancy swearing in the back room for having to do all the work.” And Keogh plunged for the rear of the “gallery,” whistling gaily in a spontaneous way that belied his recent sigh over the questionable good luck of the flying president.

“She could do worse,” Keogh thought; “but she won’t. It’s not a cheap photo booth, but a hall fit for the gods that she’s meant to light up. She’s a pretty wicked lady, and the president guy is lucky. But I hear Clancy cursing in the back room for having to do all the work.” And Keogh headed towards the back of the “gallery,” whistling cheerfully in a way that contradicted his earlier sigh about the uncertain fortune of the flying president.

Goodwin turned from the main street into a much narrower one that intersected it at a right angle.

Goodwin turned off the main street onto a much narrower one that crossed it at a right angle.

These side streets were covered by a growth of thick, rank grass, which was kept to a navigable shortness by the machetes of the police. Stone sidewalks, little more than a ledge in width, ran along the base of the mean and monotonous adobe houses. At the outskirts of the village these streets dwindled to nothing; and here were set the palm-thatched huts of the Caribs and the poorer natives, and the shabby cabins of negroes from Jamaica and the West India islands. A few structures raised their heads above the red-tiled roofs of the one-story houses—the bell tower of the Calaboza, the Hotel de los Estranjeros, the residence of the Vesuvius Fruit Company’s agent, the store and residence of Bernard Brannigan, a ruined cathedral in which Columbus had once set foot, and, most imposing of all, the Casa Morena—the summer “White House” of the President of Anchuria. On the principal street running along the beach—the Broadway of Coralio—were the larger stores, the government bodega and post-office, the cuartel, the rum-shops and the market place.

These side streets were overgrown with thick, wild grass, kept short and manageable by the police's machetes. Stone sidewalks, barely wide enough to walk on, stretched along the bases of the drab, uniform adobe houses. At the edge of the village, these streets faded away, giving way to the palm-thatched huts of the Caribs and poorer locals, alongside the rundown cabins of Black residents from Jamaica and the West Indies. A few buildings rose above the red-tiled roofs of the single-story homes—the bell tower of the Calaboza, the Hotel de los Estranjeros, the residence of the Vesuvius Fruit Company’s agent, the store and home of Bernard Brannigan, a dilapidated cathedral where Columbus once stepped, and, most notably, the Casa Morena—the summer “White House” of the President of Anchuria. On the main street running along the beach—the Broadway of Coralio—were the larger stores, the government bodega and post office, the cuartel, the rum shops, and the marketplace.

On his way Goodwin passed the house of Bernard Brannigan. It was a modern wooden building, two stories in height. The ground floor was occupied by Brannigan’s store, the upper one contained the living apartments. A wide cool porch ran around the house half way up its outer walls. A handsome, vivacious girl neatly dressed in flowing white leaned over the railing and smiled down upon Goodwin. She was no darker than many an Andalusian of high descent; and she sparkled and glowed like a tropical moonlight.

On his way, Goodwin passed Bernard Brannigan's house. It was a modern wooden building with two stories. The ground floor housed Brannigan’s store, while the upper floor had the living quarters. A wide, cool porch wrapped around the house halfway up its outer walls. A beautiful, lively girl, neatly dressed in flowing white, leaned over the railing and smiled down at Goodwin. She was as fair as many a high-born Andalusian and sparkled like a tropical moonlight.

“Good evening, Miss Paula,” said Goodwin, taking off his hat, with his ready smile. There was little difference in his manner whether he addressed women or men. Everybody in Coralio liked to receive the salutation of the big American.

“Good evening, Miss Paula,” said Goodwin, taking off his hat with a friendly smile. There wasn’t much difference in how he acted whether he was talking to women or men. Everyone in Coralio liked getting a greeting from the big American.

“Is there any news, Mr. Goodwin? Please don’t say no. Isn’t it warm? I feel just like Mariana in her moated grange—or was it a range?—it’s hot enough.”

“Is there any news, Mr. Goodwin? Please don’t say no. Isn’t it warm? I feel just like Mariana in her moated grange—or was it a range?—it’s hot enough.”

“No, there’s no news to tell, I believe,” said Goodwin, with a mischievous look in his eye, “except that old Geddie is getting grumpier and crosser every day. If something doesn’t happen to relieve his mind I’ll have to quit smoking on his back porch—and there’s no other place available that is cool enough.”

“No, I don’t think there’s any news,” Goodwin said with a playful glint in his eye, “except that old Geddie is getting grumpier and crankier every day. If something doesn’t happen to lighten his mood, I’ll have to quit smoking on his back porch—and there isn’t anywhere else that’s cool enough.”

“He isn’t grumpy,” said Paula Brannigan, impulsively, “when he—”

“He's not grumpy,” said Paula Brannigan, impulsively, “when he—”

But she ceased suddenly, and drew back with a deepening colour; for her mother had been a mestizo lady, and the Spanish blood had brought to Paula a certain shyness that was an adornment to the other half of her demonstrative nature.

But she suddenly stopped and pulled back with a deeper blush; her mother had been a mestizo woman, and the Spanish heritage had given Paula a certain shyness that complemented the more expressive side of her personality.

II
THE LOTUS AND THE BOTTLE

Willard Geddie, consul for the United States in Coralio, was working leisurely on his yearly report. Goodwin, who had strolled in as he did daily for a smoke on the much coveted porch, had found him so absorbed in his work that he departed after roundly abusing the consul for his lack of hospitality.

Willard Geddie, the U.S. consul in Coralio, was casually working on his annual report. Goodwin, who came by daily for a smoke on the highly sought-after porch, found him so focused on his work that he ended up leaving after giving the consul a hard time for his lack of hospitality.

“I shall complain to the civil service department,” said Goodwin;—“or is it a department?—perhaps it’s only a theory. One gets neither civility nor service from you. You won’t talk; and you won’t set out anything to drink. What kind of a way is that of representing your government?”

“I’m going to file a complaint with the civil service department,” said Goodwin;—“or is it even a department?—maybe it’s just a theory. You’re not polite and you’re not providing any service. You won’t talk; and you won’t offer anything to drink. What kind of way is that to represent your government?”

Goodwin strolled out and across to the hotel to see if he could bully the quarantine doctor into a game on Coralio’s solitary billiard table. His plans were completed for the interception of the fugitives from the capital; and now it was but a waiting game that he had to play.

Goodwin walked over to the hotel to see if he could pressure the quarantine doctor into a game on Coralio's lonely billiard table. He had finished his plans to intercept the fugitives from the capital; now it was just a matter of waiting.

The consul was interested in his report. He was only twenty-four; and he had not been in Coralio long enough for his enthusiasm to cool in the heat of the tropics—a paradox that may be allowed between Cancer and Capricorn.

The consul was intrigued by his report. He was only twenty-four, and he hadn't been in Coralio long enough for his enthusiasm to fade in the tropical heat—a paradox that can exist between Cancer and Capricorn.

So many thousand bunches of bananas, so many thousand oranges and cocoanuts, so many ounces of gold dust, pounds of rubber, coffee, indigo and sarsaparilla—actually, exports were twenty per cent. greater than for the previous year!

So many thousands of bunches of bananas, so many thousands of oranges and coconuts, so many ounces of gold dust, pounds of rubber, coffee, indigo, and sarsaparilla—actually, exports were twenty percent greater than the previous year!

A little thrill of satisfaction ran through the consul. Perhaps, he thought, the State Department, upon reading his introduction, would notice—and then he leaned back in his chair and laughed. He was getting as bad as the others. For the moment he had forgotten that Coralio was an insignificant town in an insignificant republic lying along the by-ways of a second-rate sea. He thought of Gregg, the quarantine doctor, who subscribed for the London Lancet, expecting to find it quoting his reports to the home Board of Health concerning the yellow fever germ. The consul knew that not one in fifty of his acquaintances in the States had ever heard of Coralio. He knew that two men, at any rate, would have to read his report—some underling in the State Department and a compositor in the Public Printing Office. Perhaps the typesticker would note the increase of commerce in Coralio, and speak of it, over the cheese and beer, to a friend.

A small thrill of satisfaction ran through the consul. Maybe, he thought, the State Department, after reading his introduction, would take notice—and then he leaned back in his chair and laughed. He was becoming just like everyone else. For a moment, he had forgotten that Coralio was an unremarkable town in a minor republic lying along the backroads of a second-rate sea. He thought of Gregg, the quarantine doctor, who subscribed to the London Lancet, hoping to see his reports about the yellow fever germ quoted by the home Board of Health. The consul knew that not one in fifty of his friends back in the States had ever heard of Coralio. He realized that, at the very least, two people would have to read his report—some low-level worker in the State Department and a printer in the Public Printing Office. Maybe the typesetter would notice the rise in commerce in Coralio and mention it, over cheese and beer, to a friend.

He had just written: “Most unaccountable is the supineness of the large exporters in the United States in permitting the French and German houses to practically control the trade interests of this rich and productive country”—when he heard the hoarse notes of a steamer’s siren.

He had just written: “It’s really puzzling how passive the big exporters in the United States are in allowing the French and German companies to basically control the trade interests of this wealthy and productive country”—when he heard the harsh sound of a ship’s siren.

Geddie laid down his pen and gathered his Panama hat and umbrella. By the sound he knew it to be the Valhalla, one of the line of fruit vessels plying for the Vesuvius Company. Down to niños of five years, everyone in Coralio could name you each incoming steamer by the note of her siren.

Geddie put down his pen and picked up his Panama hat and umbrella. By the sound, he recognized it as the Valhalla, one of the fruit vessels operated by the Vesuvius Company. In Coralio, even five-year-olds could name each incoming steamer just by the sound of its siren.

The consul sauntered by a roundabout, shaded way to the beach. By reason of long practice he gauged his stroll so accurately that by the time he arrived on the sandy shore the boat of the customs officials was rowing back from the steamer, which had been boarded and inspected according to the laws of Anchuria.

The consul strolled along a winding, shaded path to the beach. After doing this for so long, he timed his walk perfectly so that when he reached the sandy shore, the customs officials' boat was rowing back from the steamer, which had been inspected according to the laws of Anchuria.

There is no harbour at Coralio. Vessels of the draught of the Valhalla must ride at anchor a mile from shore. When they take on fruit it is conveyed on lighters and freighter sloops. At Solitas, where there was a fine harbour, ships of many kinds were to be seen, but in the roadstead off Coralio scarcely any save the fruiters paused. Now and then a tramp coaster, or a mysterious brig from Spain, or a saucy French barque would hang innocently for a few days in the offing. Then the custom-house crew would become doubly vigilant and wary. At night a sloop or two would be making strange trips in and out along the shore; and in the morning the stock of Three-Star Hennessey, wines and drygoods in Coralio would be found vastly increased. It has also been said that the customs officials jingled more silver in the pockets of their red-striped trousers, and that the record books showed no increase in import duties received.

There’s no harbor at Coralio. Vessels with the draft of the Valhalla have to anchor a mile from shore. When they take on fruit, it is transported by small boats and freighter sloops. At Solitas, where there was a nice harbor, ships of all kinds could be seen, but in the bay off Coralio, barely any except the fruit carriers stopped. Occasionally, a cargo ship, a mysterious brig from Spain, or a cheeky French barque would linger for a few days offshore. Then, the customs officials would become extra alert and cautious. At night, a sloop or two would make unusual trips in and out along the shore; and in the morning, the supply of Three-Star Hennessey, wines, and dry goods in Coralio would be noticeably higher. It’s also been said that customs officials jingled more coins in the pockets of their red-striped trousers, while the record books showed no increase in import duties collected.

The customs boat and the Valhalla gig reached the shore at the same time. When they grounded in the shallow water there was still five yards of rolling surf between them and dry sand. Then half-clothed Caribs dashed into the water, and brought in on their backs the Valhalla’s purser and the little native officials in their cotton undershirts, blue trousers with red stripes, and flapping straw hats.

The customs boat and the Valhalla gig hit the shore at the same time. When they found the shallow water, there were still five yards of rolling surf between them and dry sand. Then, half-dressed Caribs rushed into the water and carried the Valhalla’s purser and the small native officials on their backs, all in their cotton undershirts, blue trousers with red stripes, and floppy straw hats.

At college Geddie had been a treasure as a first-baseman. He now closed his umbrella, stuck it upright in the sand, and stooped, with his hands resting upon his knees. The purser, burlesquing the pitcher’s contortions, hurled at the consul the heavy roll of newspapers, tied with a string, that the steamer always brought for him. Geddie leaped high and caught the roll with a sounding “thwack.” The loungers on the beach—about a third of the population of the town—laughed and applauded delightedly. Every week they expected to see that roll of papers delivered and received in that same manner, and they were never disappointed. Innovations did not flourish in Coralio.

At college, Geddie was a standout first-baseman. He closed his umbrella, stuck it upright in the sand, and bent down with his hands resting on his knees. The purser, imitating the pitcher's awkward moves, threw the consul a heavy bundle of newspapers tied with string that the steamer always brought him. Geddie jumped up high and caught the bundle with a loud "thwack." The people lounging on the beach—about a third of the town's population—laughed and applauded happily. Each week, they looked forward to seeing that bundle of papers delivered and caught in the same way, and they were never let down. New ideas didn't thrive in Coralio.

The consul re-hoisted his umbrella and walked back to the consulate.

The consul put his umbrella back up and walked back to the consulate.

This home of a great nation’s representative was a wooden structure of two rooms, with a native-built gallery of poles, bamboo and nipa palm running on three sides of it. One room was the official apartment, furnished chastely with a flat-top desk, a hammock, and three uncomfortable cane-seated chairs. Engravings of the first and latest president of the country represented hung against the wall. The other room was the consul’s living apartment.

This home of a great nation’s representative was a wooden building with two rooms, featuring a locally built gallery made of poles, bamboo, and nipa palm running along three sides. One room served as the official office, furnished simply with a flat desk, a hammock, and three hard cane-seated chairs. Portraits of the first and most recent president of the country were displayed on the walls. The other room was the consul’s living space.

It was eleven o’clock when he returned from the beach, and therefore breakfast time. Chanca, the Carib woman who cooked for him, was just serving the meal on the side of the gallery facing the sea—a spot famous as the coolest in Coralio. The breakfast consisted of shark’s fin soup, stew of land crabs, breadfruit, a boiled iguana steak, aguacates, a freshly cut pineapple, claret and coffee.

It was eleven o’clock when he came back from the beach, which meant it was breakfast time. Chanca, the Carib woman who cooked for him, was just serving the meal on the side of the porch that faced the sea—a spot known for being the coolest in Coralio. The breakfast included shark fin soup, land crab stew, breadfruit, boiled iguana steak, avocados, a freshly cut pineapple, red wine, and coffee.

Geddie took his seat, and unrolled with luxurious laziness his bundle of newspapers. Here in Coralio for two days or longer he would read of goings-on in the world very much as we of the world read those whimsical contributions to inexact science that assume to portray the doings of the Martians. After he had finished with the papers they would be sent on the rounds of the other English-speaking residents of the town.

Geddie sat down and leisurely unrolled his bundle of newspapers. Here in Coralio for two days or more, he would read about the happenings in the world just like we read those quirky articles about Martians that pretend to describe their activities. Once he was done with the papers, they would be passed around to the other English-speaking residents of the town.

The paper that came first to his hand was one of those bulky mattresses of printed stuff upon which the readers of certain New York journals are supposed to take their Sabbath literary nap. Opening this the consul rested it upon the table, supporting its weight with the aid of the back of a chair. Then he partook of his meal deliberately, turning the leaves from time to time and glancing half idly at the contents.

The first paper he picked up was one of those thick, printed publications that readers of certain New York magazines are rumored to use for their Sunday literary naps. He opened it and set it on the table, propping it up with the back of a chair. Then he ate his meal casually, flipping through the pages now and then and glancing somewhat lazily at what was inside.

Presently he was struck by something familiar to him in a picture—a half-page, badly printed reproduction of a photograph of a vessel. Languidly interested, he leaned for a nearer scrutiny and a view of the florid headlines of the column next to the picture.

Presently, he was struck by something familiar in a picture—a half-page, poorly printed reproduction of a photograph of a ship. Feeling a lazy interest, he leaned in for a closer look and to read the flashy headlines of the column next to the picture.

Yes; he was not mistaken. The engraving was of the eight-hundred-ton yacht Idalia, belonging to “that prince of good fellows, Midas of the money market, and society’s pink of perfection, J. Ward Tolliver.”

Yes; he was not wrong. The engraving was of the eight-hundred-ton yacht Idalia, owned by “that great guy, Midas of the money market, and society’s ideal gentleman, J. Ward Tolliver.”

Slowly sipping his black coffee, Geddie read the column of print. Following a listed statement of Mr. Tolliver’s real estate and bonds, came a description of the yacht’s furnishings, and then the grain of news no bigger than a mustard seed. Mr. Tolliver, with a party of favoured guests, would sail the next day on a six weeks’ cruise along the Central American and South American coasts and among the Bahama Islands. Among the guests were Mrs. Cumberland Payne and Miss Ida Payne, of Norfolk.

Slowly sipping his black coffee, Geddie read the printed column. After a rundown of Mr. Tolliver’s real estate and bonds, there was a description of the yacht’s furnishings, followed by a piece of news no bigger than a mustard seed. Mr. Tolliver, along with a select group of guests, would set sail the next day for a six-week cruise along the coasts of Central and South America and through the Bahamas. Among the guests were Mrs. Cumberland Payne and Miss Ida Payne from Norfolk.

The writer, with the fatuous presumption that was demanded of him by his readers, had concocted a romance suited to their palates. He bracketed the names of Miss Payne and Mr. Tolliver until he had well-nigh read the marriage ceremony over them. He played coyly and insinuatingly upon the strings of “on dit” and “Madame Rumour” and “a little bird” and “no one would be surprised,” and ended with congratulations.

The writer, with the silly confidence expected of him by his readers, had crafted a romance that catered to their tastes. He kept the names of Miss Payne and Mr. Tolliver together until he had nearly recited the marriage vows for them. He teasingly and suggestively played with the ideas of “gossip,” “Rumor,” “a little bird told me,” and “no one would be surprised,” and wrapped it up with congratulatory remarks.

Geddie, having finished his breakfast, took his papers to the edge of the gallery, and sat there in his favourite steamer chair with his feet on the bamboo railing. He lighted a cigar, and looked out upon the sea. He felt a glow of satisfaction at finding he was so little disturbed by what he had read. He told himself that he had conquered the distress that had sent him, a voluntary exile, to this far land of the lotus. He could never forget Ida, of course; but there was no longer any pain in thinking about her. When they had had that misunderstanding and quarrel he had impulsively sought this consulship, with the desire to retaliate upon her by detaching himself from her world and presence. He had succeeded thoroughly in that. During the twelve months of his life in Coralio no word had passed between them, though he had sometimes heard of her through the dilatory correspondence with the few friends to whom he still wrote. Still he could not repress a little thrill of satisfaction at knowing that she had not yet married Tolliver or anyone else. But evidently Tolliver had not yet abandoned hope.

Geddie, having finished his breakfast, took his papers to the edge of the gallery and sat in his favorite steamer chair with his feet on the bamboo railing. He lit a cigar and looked out at the sea. He felt a sense of satisfaction realizing he was hardly affected by what he had read. He reminded himself that he had overcome the sadness that had driven him, a willing exile, to this distant land of the lotus. He could never forget Ida, of course, but thinking about her no longer caused him pain. After their misunderstanding and argument, he had impulsively taken this consulship, wanting to get back at her by distancing himself from her world and presence. He had completely succeeded in that. During his twelve months in Coralio, they hadn’t exchanged a word, though he had occasionally heard about her through the slow correspondence with the few friends he still wrote to. Still, he couldn't help but feel a little thrill of satisfaction knowing she hadn't married Tolliver or anyone else yet. But clearly, Tolliver hadn’t given up hope.

Well, it made no difference to him now. He had eaten of the lotus. He was happy and content in this land of perpetual afternoon. Those old days of life in the States seemed like an irritating dream. He hoped Ida would be as happy as he was. The climate as balmy as that of distant Avalon; the fetterless, idyllic round of enchanted days; the life among this indolent, romantic people—a life full of music, flowers, and low laughter; the influence of the imminent sea and mountains, and the many shapes of love and magic and beauty that bloomed in the white tropic nights—with all he was more than content. Also, there was Paula Brannigan.

Well, it didn’t matter to him anymore. He had tasted the lotus. He was happy and satisfied in this land of endless afternoons. Those old days back in the States felt like an annoying dream. He hoped Ida would be as happy as he was. The weather was as warm as that of distant Avalon; the carefree, perfect days felt enchanted; the life surrounded by these relaxed, romantic people—filled with music, flowers, and soft laughter; the influence of the nearby sea and mountains, and the many forms of love, magic, and beauty that flourished in the white tropical nights—made him more than content. Then there was Paula Brannigan.

Geddie intended to marry Paula—if, of course, she would consent; but he felt rather sure that she would do that. Somehow, he kept postponing his proposal. Several times he had been quite near to it; but a mysterious something always held him back. Perhaps it was only the unconscious, instinctive conviction that the act would sever the last tie that bound him to his old world.

Geddie planned to marry Paula—if she agreed, of course; but he felt pretty confident that she would. Somehow, he kept putting off his proposal. Several times he had come close to it; but something mysterious always stopped him. Maybe it was just an unconscious, instinctive feeling that the act would cut the last connection he had to his old life.

He could be very happy with Paula. Few of the native girls could be compared with her. She had attended a convent school in New Orleans for two years; and when she chose to display her accomplishments no one could detect any difference between her and the girls of Norfolk and Manhattan. But it was delicious to see her at home dressed, as she sometimes was, in the native costume, with bare shoulders and flowing sleeves.

He could be really happy with Paula. Few of the local girls could compare to her. She had spent two years at a convent school in New Orleans, and when she chose to show off her skills, no one could tell the difference between her and the girls from Norfolk and Manhattan. But it was wonderful to see her at home wearing, as she sometimes did, the local outfit, with bare shoulders and flowing sleeves.

Bernard Brannigan was the great merchant of Coralio. Besides his store, he maintained a train of pack mules, and carried on a lively trade with the interior towns and villages. He had married a native lady of high Castilian descent, but with a tinge of Indian brown showing through her olive cheek. The union of the Irish and the Spanish had produced, as it so often has, an offshoot of rare beauty and variety. They were very excellent people indeed, and the upper story of their house was ready to be placed at the service of Geddie and Paula as soon as he should make up his mind to speak about it.

Bernard Brannigan was the well-known merchant of Coralio. In addition to his store, he managed a line of pack mules and had a thriving trade with the inland towns and villages. He had married a local woman of high Castilian heritage, though her olive skin had hints of Indian brown. The mix of Irish and Spanish cultures created, as it often does, a blend of striking beauty and diversity. They were truly wonderful people, and the upper floor of their house was ready to be offered to Geddie and Paula as soon as he decided to bring it up.

By the time two hours were whiled away the consul tired of reading. The papers lay scattered about him on the gallery. Reclining there, he gazed dreamily out upon an Eden. A clump of banana plants interposed their broad shields between him and the sun. The gentle slope from the consulate to the sea was covered with the dark-green foliage of lemon-trees and orange-trees just bursting into bloom. A lagoon pierced the land like a dark, jagged crystal, and above it a pale ceiba-tree rose almost to the clouds. The waving cocoanut palms on the beach flared their decorative green leaves against the slate of an almost quiescent sea. His senses were cognizant of brilliant scarlet and ochres amid the vert of the coppice, of odours of fruit and bloom and the smoke from Chanca’s clay oven under the calabash-tree; of the treble laughter of the native women in their huts, the song of the robin, the salt taste of the breeze, the diminuendo of the faint surf running along the shore—and, gradually, of a white speck, growing to a blur, that intruded itself upon the drab prospect of the sea.

By the time two hours had passed, the consul got tired of reading. The papers were scattered around him on the porch. Reclining there, he gazed dreamily out at a paradise. A cluster of banana plants provided shade between him and the sun. The gentle slope from the consulate to the sea was covered with the dark green leaves of lemon trees and orange trees just starting to bloom. A lagoon cut through the land like a dark, jagged crystal, and above it, a pale ceiba tree reached almost to the clouds. The waving coconut palms on the beach spread their vibrant green leaves against the slate of an almost calm sea. His senses were aware of brilliant reds and ochres amid the greenery of the thicket, of the smells of fruit and flowers and the smoke from Chanca’s clay oven under the calabash tree; of the cheerful laughter of the local women in their huts, the song of the robin, the salty taste of the breeze, the soft sound of the gentle surf running along the shore—and, gradually, of a white speck, growing into a blur, that intruded upon the dull view of the sea.

Lazily interested, he watched this blur increase until it became the Idalia steaming at full speed, coming down the coast. Without changing his position he kept his eyes upon the beautiful white yacht as she drew swiftly near, and came opposite to Coralio. Then, sitting upright, he saw her float steadily past and on. Scarcely a mile of sea had separated her from the shore. He had seen the frequent flash of her polished brass work and the stripes of her deck-awnings—so much, and no more. Like a ship on a magic lantern slide the Idalia had crossed the illuminated circle of the consul’s little world, and was gone. Save for the tiny cloud of smoke that was left hanging over the brim of the sea, she might have been an immaterial thing, a chimera of his idle brain.

Lazily interested, he watched this blur grow until it became the Idalia speeding down the coast. Without changing his position, he kept his eyes on the beautiful white yacht as she approached quickly, coming in front of Coralio. Then, sitting up straight, he saw her glide steadily past and move on. There was hardly a mile of sea between her and the shore. He caught the frequent glint of her polished brass and the stripes of her deck awnings—just that, and nothing more. Like a ship on a magic lantern slide, the Idalia crossed the illuminated circle of the consul’s little world and vanished. Aside from the small puff of smoke lingering over the edge of the sea, she could have been an ethereal thing, a figment of his idle imagination.

Geddie went into his office and sat down to dawdle over his report. If the reading of the article in the paper had left him unshaken, this silent passing of the Idalia had done for him still more. It had brought the calm and peace of a situation from which all uncertainty had been erased. He knew that men sometimes hope without being aware of it. Now, since she had come two thousand miles and had passed without a sign, not even his unconscious self need cling to the past any longer.

Geddie walked into his office and sat down to go over his report. If reading the article in the newspaper hadn’t disturbed him, the quiet passage of the Idalia affected him even more. It had brought the calmness and peace of a situation where all uncertainty had disappeared. He realized that sometimes people hope without even realizing it. Now, since she had traveled two thousand miles and passed by without a sign, not even his subconscious self needed to hold on to the past anymore.

After dinner, when the sun was low behind the mountains, Geddie walked on the little strip of beach under the cocoanuts. The wind was blowing mildly landward, and the surface of the sea was rippled by tiny wavelets.

After dinner, as the sun dipped low behind the mountains, Geddie strolled along the small stretch of beach beneath the coconut trees. A gentle breeze was blowing inland, and the surface of the sea was gently stirred by little waves.

A miniature breaker, spreading with a soft “swish” upon the sand brought with it something round and shiny that rolled back again as the wave receded. The next influx beached it clear, and Geddie picked it up. The thing was a long-necked wine bottle of colourless glass. The cork had been driven in tightly to the level of the mouth, and the end covered with dark-red sealing-wax. The bottle contained only what seemed to be a sheet of paper, much curled from the manipulation it had undergone while being inserted. In the sealing-wax was the impression of a seal—probably of a signet-ring, bearing the initials of a monogram; but the impression had been hastily made, and the letters were past anything more certain than a shrewd conjecture. Ida Payne had always worn a signet-ring in preference to any other finger decoration. Geddie thought he could make out the familiar “I P”; and a queer sensation of disquietude went over him. More personal and intimate was this reminder of her than had been the sight of the vessel she was doubtless on. He walked back to his house, and set the bottle on his desk.

A small wave rolled onto the sand with a gentle “swish,” bringing with it something shiny that rolled back as the wave pulled away. The next wave pushed it up onto the beach, and Geddie picked it up. It was a long-necked wine bottle made of clear glass. The cork was tightly pushed in to the rim, and the top was sealed with dark-red wax. Inside the bottle was what looked like a piece of paper, curled from being shoved in. The sealing wax had the mark of a seal—probably from a signet ring, showing the initials of a monogram; but the impression was made in a hurry, and the letters were unclear, leaving only a guess. Ida Payne always preferred wearing a signet ring over any other type of jewelry. Geddie thought he could make out the familiar “I P,” and a strange feeling of unease washed over him. This reminder of her felt more personal and intimate than seeing the vessel she was likely on. He walked back to his house and placed the bottle on his desk.

Throwing off his hat and coat, and lighting a lamp—for the night had crowded precipitately upon the brief twilight—he began to examine his piece of sea salvage.

Throwing off his hat and coat and turning on a lamp—because night had suddenly fallen after the short twilight—he started to look over his piece of sea salvage.

By holding the bottle near the light and turning it judiciously, he made out that it contained a double sheet of note-paper filled with close writing; further, that the paper was of the same size and shade as that always used by Ida; and that, to the best of his belief, the handwriting was hers. The imperfect glass of the bottle so distorted the rays of light that he could read no word of the writing; but certain capital letters, of which he caught comprehensive glimpses, were Ida’s, he felt sure.

By holding the bottle up to the light and turning it carefully, he could see that it held a folded sheet of note paper filled with small writing. Additionally, the paper was the same size and color as the kind Ida always used, and he believed the handwriting was hers. The imperfect glass of the bottle distorted the light enough that he couldn’t read any words, but he was sure that certain capital letters he caught glimpses of were definitely Ida's.

There was a little smile both of perplexity and amusement in Geddie’s eyes as he set the bottle down, and laid three cigars side by side on his desk. He fetched his steamer chair from the gallery, and stretched himself comfortably. He would smoke those three cigars while considering the problem.

There was a small smile of confusion and amusement in Geddie’s eyes as he put down the bottle and laid three cigars side by side on his desk. He grabbed his steamer chair from the gallery and settled into it comfortably. He planned to smoke those three cigars while thinking about the problem.

For it amounted to a problem. He almost wished that he had not found the bottle; but the bottle was there. Why should it have drifted in from the sea, whence come so many disquieting things, to disturb his peace?

For it turned out to be a problem. He almost wished he hadn't found the bottle; but the bottle was there. Why did it wash up from the sea, where so many unsettling things come from, to disrupt his peace?

In this dreamy land, where time seemed so redundant, he had fallen into the habit of bestowing much thought upon even trifling matters.

In this dreamy place, where time felt so pointless, he had gotten into the habit of giving a lot of thought to even insignificant things.

He began to speculate upon many fanciful theories concerning the story of the bottle, rejecting each in turn.

He started to think about a lot of imaginative theories about the story of the bottle, dismissing each one as he went along.

Ships in danger of wreck or disablement sometimes cast forth such precarious messengers calling for aid. But he had seen the Idalia not three hours before, safe and speeding. Suppose the crew had mutinied and imprisoned the passengers below, and the message was one begging for succour! But, premising such an improbable outrage, would the agitated captives have taken the pains to fill four pages of note-paper with carefully penned arguments to their rescue.

Ships in danger of sinking or breaking down sometimes send out desperate signals asking for help. But he had seen the Idalia just three hours ago, safe and on its way. What if the crew had rebelled and locked the passengers below deck, and this message was a plea for rescue? But considering such an unlikely scenario, would the frightened captives have gone through the trouble of filling four pages of notepaper with carefully written points about their rescue?

Thus by elimination he soon rid the matter of the more unlikely theories, and was reduced—though aversely—to the less assailable one that the bottle contained a message to himself. Ida knew he was in Coralio; she must have launched the bottle while the yacht was passing and the wind blowing fairly toward the shore.

Thus, by eliminating the less likely theories, he quickly came to the conclusion—though reluctantly—that the bottle contained a message meant for him. Ida knew he was in Coralio; she must have thrown the bottle out while the yacht was passing by and with the wind blowing nicely toward the shore.

As soon as Geddie reached this conclusion a wrinkle came between his brows and a stubborn look settled around his mouth. He sat looking out through the doorway at the gigantic fire-flies traversing the quiet streets.

As soon as Geddie reached this conclusion, a crease formed between his brows and a determined expression settled on his face. He sat staring out through the doorway at the enormous fireflies moving across the quiet streets.

If this was a message to him from Ida, what could it mean save an overture toward a reconciliation? And if that, why had she not used the same methods of the post instead of this uncertain and even flippant means of communication? A note in an empty bottle, cast into the sea! There was something light and frivolous about it, if not actually contemptuous.

If this was a message to him from Ida, what could it mean except a step towards making things right? And if that’s the case, why hadn’t she just used regular mail instead of this unpredictable and almost careless way to reach out? A note in an empty bottle, thrown into the ocean! It felt a bit trivial and frivolous, if not outright disrespectful.

The thought stirred his pride and subdued whatever emotions had been resurrected by the finding of the bottle.

The thought boosted his pride and quieted any feelings that had been brought back by discovering the bottle.

Geddie put on his coat and hat and walked out. He followed a street that led him along the border of the little plaza where a band was playing and people were rambling, care-free and indolent. Some timorous señoritas scurrying past with fire-flies tangled in the jetty braids of their hair glanced at him with shy, flattering eyes. The air was languorous with the scent of jasmin and orange-blossoms.

Geddie put on his coat and hat and walked out. He followed a street that took him along the edge of the small plaza where a band was playing and people were strolling, carefree and relaxed. A few shy young women hurried past with fireflies tangled in the dark braids of their hair, glancing at him with shy, flattering looks. The air was heavy with the scent of jasmine and orange blossoms.

The consul stayed his steps at the house of Bernard Brannigan. Paula was swinging in a hammock on the gallery. She rose from it like a bird from its nest. The colour came to her cheek at the sound of Geddie’s voice.

The consul paused in front of Bernard Brannigan's house. Paula was swinging in a hammock on the porch. She got up from it like a bird leaving its nest. Her cheeks flushed at the sound of Geddie’s voice.

He was charmed at the sight of her costume—a flounced muslin dress, with a little jacket of white flannel, all made with neatness and style. He suggested a stroll, and they walked out to the old Indian well on the hill road. They sat on the curb, and there Geddie made the expected but long-deferred speech. Certain though he had been that she would not say him nay, he was thrilled with joy at the completeness and sweetness of her surrender. Here was surely a heart made for love and steadfastness. Here was no caprice or questionings or captious standards of convention.

He was captivated by her costume—a flouncy muslin dress paired with a cute white flannel jacket, all crafted with care and style. He suggested they take a walk, and they made their way to the old Indian well on the hill road. They sat on the edge, and there Geddie delivered the long-expected speech. Even though he was sure she wouldn't say no, he felt a rush of joy at how completely and sweetly she surrendered. Here was undoubtedly a heart meant for love and loyalty. There were no whims, doubts, or picky standards of convention.

When Geddie kissed Paula at her door that night he was happier than he had ever been before. “Here in this hollow lotus land, ever to live and lie reclined” seemed to him, as it has seemed to many mariners, the best as well as the easiest. His future would be an ideal one. He had attained a Paradise without a serpent. His Eve would be indeed a part of him, unbeguiled, and therefore more beguiling. He had made his decision to-night, and his heart was full of serene, assured content.

When Geddie kissed Paula at her door that night, he was happier than he had ever been before. “Here in this beautiful, peaceful place, always to live and relax” felt to him, as it has to many sailors, like the best and easiest option. His future seemed perfect. He had found a paradise without any trouble. His Eve would truly be a part of him, untempted, and therefore more captivating. He had made his decision tonight, and his heart was filled with calm, confident happiness.

Geddie went back to his house whistling that finest and saddest love song, “La Golondrina.” At the door his tame monkey leaped down from his shelf, chattering briskly. The consul turned to his desk to get him some nuts he usually kept there. Reaching in the half-darkness, his hand struck against the bottle. He started as if he had touched the cold rotundity of a serpent.

Geddie returned home whistling that beautiful yet heartbreaking love song, “La Golondrina.” At the door, his pet monkey jumped down from its perch, chattering happily. The consul turned to his desk to grab some nuts he usually kept there. As he reached into the dim light, his hand bumped against the bottle. He recoiled as if he had touched the cold, smooth shape of a snake.

He had forgotten that the bottle was there.

He had forgotten that the bottle was there.

He lighted the lamp and fed the monkey. Then, very deliberately, he lighted a cigar, and took the bottle in his hand, and walked down the path to the beach.

He lit the lamp and fed the monkey. Then, deliberately, he lit a cigar, took the bottle in his hand, and walked down the path to the beach.

There was a moon, and the sea was glorious. The breeze had shifted, as it did each evening, and was now rushing steadily seaward.

There was a moon, and the sea was beautiful. The breeze had changed, as it did each evening, and was now flowing steadily toward the sea.

Stepping to the water’s edge, Geddie hurled the unopened bottle far out into the sea. It disappeared for a moment, and then shot upward twice its length. Geddie stood still, watching it. The moonlight was so bright that he could see it bobbing up and down with the little waves. Slowly it receded from the shore, flashing and turning as it went. The wind was carrying it out to sea. Soon it became a mere speck, doubtfully discerned at irregular intervals; and then the mystery of it was swallowed up by the greater mystery of the ocean. Geddie stood still upon the beach, smoking and looking out upon the water.

Stepping to the water’s edge, Geddie threw the unopened bottle far out into the sea. It vanished for a moment, then sprang up twice its length. Geddie stayed put, watching it. The moonlight was so bright that he could see it bobbing up and down with the small waves. Slowly, it drifted away from the shore, flashing and twisting as it moved. The wind was pushing it out to sea. Soon it became just a tiny speck, barely noticeable at uneven intervals; then the mystery of it was engulfed by the greater mystery of the ocean. Geddie stood still on the beach, smoking and gazing out at the water.

“Simon!—Oh, Simon!—wake up there, Simon!” bawled a sonorous voice at the edge of the water.

“Simon!—Oh, Simon!—wake up over there, Simon!” shouted a deep voice at the edge of the water.

Old Simon Cruz was a half-breed fisherman and smuggler who lived in a hut on the beach. Out of his earliest nap Simon was thus awakened.

Old Simon Cruz was a mixed-race fisherman and smuggler who lived in a hut on the beach. This was how Simon was stirred from his first nap.

He slipped on his shoes and went outside. Just landing from one of the Valhalla’s boats was the third mate of that vessel, who was an acquaintance of Simon’s, and three sailors from the fruiter.

He put on his shoes and went outside. Just arriving from one of the Valhalla’s boats was the third mate of that ship, who knew Simon, along with three sailors from the fruiter.

“Go up, Simon,” called the mate, “and find Dr. Gregg or Mr. Goodwin or anybody that’s a friend to Mr. Geddie, and bring ’em here at once.”

“Go up, Simon,” the mate shouted, “and find Dr. Gregg or Mr. Goodwin or anyone who’s a friend of Mr. Geddie, and bring them here right away.”

“Saints of the skies!” said Simon, sleepily, “nothing has happened to Mr. Geddie?”

“Saints of the skies!” Simon said, sleepily. “Something hasn’t happened to Mr. Geddie, has it?”

“He’s under that tarpauling,” said the mate, pointing to the boat, “and he’s rather more than half drownded. We seen him from the steamer nearly a mile out from shore, swimmin’ like mad after a bottle that was floatin’ in the water, outward bound. We lowered the gig and started for him. He nearly had his hand on the bottle, when he gave out and went under. We pulled him out in time to save him, maybe; but the doctor is the one to decide that.”

“He's under that tarp,” said the mate, pointing to the boat, “and he's more than halfway drowned. We spotted him from the steamer nearly a mile off the shore, swimming like crazy after a bottle that was floating away. We lowered the small boat and headed for him. He almost had his hand on the bottle when he gave up and went under. We pulled him out just in time, maybe to save him; but it's up to the doctor to decide that.”

“A bottle?” said the old man, rubbing his eyes. He was not yet fully awake. “Where is the bottle?”

“A bottle?” the old man said, rubbing his eyes. He wasn't fully awake yet. “Where's the bottle?”

“Driftin’ along out there some’eres,” said the mate, jerking his thumb toward the sea. “Get on with you, Simon.”

“Drifting along out there somewhere,” said the mate, pointing his thumb toward the sea. “Come on, Simon.”

III
SMITH

Goodwin and the ardent patriot, Zavalla, took all the precautions that their foresight could contrive to prevent the escape of President Miraflores and his companion. They sent trusted messengers up the coast to Solitas and Alazan to warn the local leaders of the flight, and to instruct them to patrol the water line and arrest the fugitives at all hazards should they reveal themselves in that territory. After this was done there remained only to cover the district about Coralio and await the coming of the quarry. The nets were well spread. The roads were so few, the opportunities for embarkation so limited, and the two or three probable points of exit so well guarded that it would be strange indeed if there should slip through the meshes so much of the country’s dignity, romance, and collateral. The president would, without doubt, move as secretly as possible, and endeavour to board a vessel by stealth from some secluded point along the shore.

Goodwin and the passionate patriot, Zavalla, took every precaution they could think of to prevent President Miraflores and his companion from escaping. They sent trusted messengers up the coast to Solitas and Alazan to inform the local leaders about the flight and instruct them to patrol the shoreline and capture the fugitives at any cost if they showed up in that area. Once that was done, they only needed to cover the Coralio area and wait for their target to arrive. The traps were well set. The roads were few, the chances for departure were limited, and the one or two likely escape points were heavily guarded, so it would be quite unusual for so much of the country’s dignity, romance, and collateral to slip through the net. The president would, without a doubt, move as secretly as possible and try to board a boat quietly from some hidden spot along the shore.

On the fourth day after the receipt of Englehart’s telegram the Karlsefin, a Norwegian steamer chartered by the New Orleans fruit trade, anchored off Coralio with three hoarse toots of her siren. The Karlsefin was not one of the line operated by the Vesuvius Fruit Company. She was something of a dilettante, doing odd jobs for a company that was scarcely important enough to figure as a rival to the Vesuvius. The movements of the Karlsefin were dependent upon the state of the market. Sometimes she would ply steadily between the Spanish Main and New Orleans in the regular transport of fruit; next she would be making erratic trips to Mobile or Charleston, or even as far north as New York, according to the distribution of the fruit supply.

On the fourth day after receiving Englehart’s telegram, the Karlsefin, a Norwegian freighter hired by the New Orleans fruit trade, dropped anchor off Coralio with three loud blasts of her horn. The Karlsefin wasn’t part of the fleet operated by the Vesuvius Fruit Company. She was more of a freelancer, taking on odd jobs for a company that wasn’t really significant enough to compete with the Vesuvius. The Karlsefin changed her routes based on the market situation. Sometimes she would regularly travel between the Spanish Main and New Orleans, transporting fruit; other times, she would take unpredictable trips to Mobile or Charleston, or even as far north as New York, depending on how the fruit supply was distributed.

Goodwin lounged upon the beach with the usual crowd of idlers that had gathered to view the steamer. Now that President Miraflores might be expected to reach the borders of his abjured country at any time, the orders were to keep a strict and unrelenting watch. Every vessel that approached the shores might now be considered a possible means of escape for the fugitives; and an eye was kept even on the sloops and dories that belonged to the sea-going contingent of Coralio. Goodwin and Zavalla moved everywhere, but without ostentation, watching the loopholes of escape.

Goodwin relaxed on the beach with the usual group of onlookers who had gathered to see the steamer. Now that President Miraflores could arrive at the borders of his rejected country at any moment, there were orders to maintain a strict and relentless watch. Every vessel that came near the shore could be seen as a potential escape route for the fugitives; even the sloops and dories owned by Coralio's sea-going crew were being monitored. Goodwin and Zavalla moved around, but without drawing attention, keeping an eye out for any potential escape routes.

The customs officials crowded importantly into their boat and rowed out to the Karlsefin. A boat from the steamer landed her purser with his papers, and took out the quarantine doctor with his green umbrella and clinical thermometer. Next a swarm of Caribs began to load upon lighters the thousands of bunches of bananas heaped upon the shore and row them out to the steamer. The Karlsefin had no passenger list, and was soon done with the attention of the authorities. The purser declared that the steamer would remain at anchor until morning, taking on her fruit during the night. The Karlsefin had come, he said, from New York, to which port her latest load of oranges and cocoanuts had been conveyed. Two or three of the freighter sloops were engaged to assist in the work, for the captain was anxious to make a quick return in order to reap the advantage offered by a certain dearth of fruit in the States.

The customs officials gathered seriously into their boat and rowed out to the Karlsefin. A boat from the steamer brought the purser with his paperwork and took the quarantine doctor with his green umbrella and clinical thermometer. Next, a group of Caribs started loading the thousands of bunches of bananas piled on the shore onto lighters and rowed them out to the steamer. The Karlsefin didn’t have a passenger list and soon finished with the authorities' scrutiny. The purser stated that the steamer would stay anchored until morning, loading its fruit during the night. He said the Karlsefin had arrived from New York, where her last shipment of oranges and coconuts had been delivered. A couple of freighter sloops were hired to help with the work, as the captain wanted to make a quick return to take advantage of a certain shortage of fruit in the States.

About four o’clock in the afternoon another of those marine monsters, not very familiar in those waters, hove in sight, following the fateful Idalia—a graceful steam yacht, painted a light buff, clean-cut as a steel engraving. The beautiful vessel hovered off shore, see-sawing the waves as lightly as a duck in a rain barrel. A swift boat manned by a crew in uniform came ashore, and a stocky-built man leaped to the sands.

About four in the afternoon, another one of those sea monsters, not commonly seen in those waters, appeared, trailing the fateful Idalia—a sleek steam yacht, painted a soft tan, sharp as a steel engraving. The stunning vessel floated offshore, bobbing on the waves like a duck in a rain barrel. A speedy boat crewed by uniformed men came ashore, and a stocky man jumped onto the sand.

The new-comer seemed to turn a disapproving eye upon the rather motley congregation of native Anchurians, and made his way at once toward Goodwin, who was the most conspicuously Anglo-Saxon figure present. Goodwin greeted him with courtesy.

The newcomer seemed to look disapprovingly at the rather diverse group of native Anchurians and made his way straight to Goodwin, who was the most clearly Anglo-Saxon person there. Goodwin welcomed him politely.

Conversation developed that the newly landed one was named Smith, and that he had come in a yacht. A meagre biography, truly; for the yacht was most apparent; and the “Smith” not beyond a reasonable guess before the revelation. Yet to the eye of Goodwin, who had seen several things, there was a discrepancy between Smith and his yacht. A bullet-headed man Smith was, with an oblique, dead eye and the moustache of a cocktail-mixer. And unless he had shifted costumes before putting off for shore he had affronted the deck of his correct vessel clad in a pearl-gray derby, a gay plaid suit and vaudeville neckwear. Men owning pleasure yachts generally harmonize better with them.

Conversation developed that the newcomer was named Smith and that he arrived on a yacht. A pretty slim biography, honestly; for the yacht was quite obvious, and “Smith” wasn’t too hard to guess before the reveal. Yet to Goodwin, who had seen a lot, there was a mismatch between Smith and his yacht. Smith was a bullet-headed guy, with a slanted, lifeless eye and a mustache like a cocktail mixer. And unless he had changed clothes before heading to shore, he had approached the deck of his proper vessel dressed in a pearl-gray derby, a flashy plaid suit, and showy neckwear. Men who owned pleasure yachts usually looked better suited to them.

Smith looked business, but he was no advertiser. He commented upon the scenery, remarking upon its fidelity to the pictures in the geography; and then inquired for the United States consul. Goodwin pointed out the starred-and-striped bunting hanging above the little consulate, which was concealed behind the orange-trees.

Smith looked professional, but he wasn’t a marketer. He talked about the scenery, noting how closely it matched the pictures in the geography book; then he asked about the United States consul. Goodwin pointed to the American flag hanging above the small consulate, which was hidden behind the orange trees.

“Mr. Geddie, the consul, will be sure to be there,” said Goodwin. “He was very nearly drowned a few days ago while taking a swim in the sea, and the doctor has ordered him to remain indoors for some time.”

“Mr. Geddie, the consul, will definitely be there,” said Goodwin. “He almost drowned a few days ago while swimming in the ocean, and the doctor has told him to stay indoors for a while.”

Smith plowed his way through the sand to the consulate, his haberdashery creating violent discord against the smooth tropical blues and greens.

Smith trudged through the sand to the consulate, his clothing clashing sharply with the smooth tropical blues and greens.

Geddie was lounging in his hammock, somewhat pale of face and languid in pose. On that night when the Valhalla’s boat had brought him ashore apparently drenched to death by the sea, Doctor Gregg and his other friends had toiled for hours to preserve the little spark of life that remained to him. The bottle, with its impotent message, was gone out to sea, and the problem that it had provoked was reduced to a simple sum in addition—one and one make two, by the rule of arithmetic; one by the rule of romance.

Geddie was relaxing in his hammock, looking a bit pale and lazy. On that night when the Valhalla’s boat had brought him ashore, seemingly soaked to the bone by the ocean, Doctor Gregg and his friends had worked for hours to keep him alive. The bottle with its pointless message had washed away, and the issue it raised had been simplified to a basic math equation—one plus one equals two, according to arithmetic; one according to romance.

There is a quaint old theory that man may have two souls—a peripheral one which serves ordinarily, and a central one which is stirred only at certain times, but then with activity and vigour. While under the domination of the former a man will shave, vote, pay taxes, give money to his family, buy subscription books and comport himself on the average plan. But let the central soul suddenly become dominant, and he may, in the twinkling of an eye, turn upon the partner of his joys with furious execration; he may change his politics while you could snap your fingers; he may deal out deadly insult to his dearest friend; he may get him, instanter, to a monastery or a dance hall; he may elope, or hang himself—or he may write a song or poem, or kiss his wife unasked, or give his funds to the search of a microbe. Then the peripheral soul will return; and we have our safe, sane citizen again. It is but the revolt of the Ego against Order; and its effect is to shake up the atoms only that they may settle where they belong.

There’s an old theory that a person might have two souls: a surface one that handles everyday life and a deeper one that gets activated only at certain moments, but when it does, it’s full of energy and intensity. When the surface soul is in control, a person will shave, vote, pay taxes, support their family, buy subscription books, and behave in a fairly typical way. But if the deeper soul suddenly takes over, a person can, in an instant, lash out at their partner with rage; they might switch their political beliefs in a snap; they could hurl insults at their closest friend; they might rush to a monastery or a dance hall; they could run away with someone or take drastic actions like hanging themselves—or they might write a song or a poem, kiss their spouse unexpectedly, or invest their money in searching for a microbe. Then the surface soul returns, and we have our reliable, rational citizen back. It’s just the rebellion of the self against the norm, and its impact is to stir things up so they can settle back into place.

Geddie’s revulsion had been a mild one—no more than a swim in a summer sea after so inglorious an object as a drifting bottle. And now he was himself again. Upon his desk, ready for the post, was a letter to his government tendering his resignation as consul, to be effective as soon as another could be appointed in his place. For Bernard Brannigan, who never did things in a half-way manner, was to take Geddie at once for a partner in his very profitable and various enterprises; and Paula was happily engaged in plans for refurnishing and decorating the upper story of the Brannigan house.

Geddie’s disgust had been mild—nothing more than a swim in a summer sea after spotting something as unappealing as a drifting bottle. And now he was back to himself. On his desk, ready to be mailed, was a letter to his government resigning from his position as consul, to take effect as soon as someone else could be appointed in his place. Bernard Brannigan, who always went all in, was set to take Geddie on as a partner in his very successful and diverse ventures; and Paula was excitedly making plans to redecorate the upper floor of the Brannigan house.

The consul rose from his hammock when he saw the conspicuous stranger in his door.

The consul got up from his hammock when he noticed the obvious stranger at his door.

“Keep your seat, old man,” said the visitor, with an airy wave of his large hand. “My name’s Smith; and I’ve come in a yacht. You are the consul—is that right? A big, cool guy on the beach directed me here. Thought I’d pay my respects to the flag.”

“Stay put, old man,” said the visitor, casually waving his large hand. “I’m Smith; I arrived on a yacht. You’re the consul, right? A laid-back guy on the beach pointed me here. I thought I’d come and pay my respects to the flag.”

“Sit down,” said Geddie. “I’ve been admiring your craft ever since it came in sight. Looks like a fast sailer. What’s her tonnage?”

“Sit down,” said Geddie. “I’ve been admiring your craft ever since I saw it. Looks like it’s a quick sailer. What’s her tonnage?”

“Search me!” said Smith. “I don’t know what she weighs in at. But she’s got a tidy gait. The Rambler—that’s her name—don’t take the dust of anything afloat. This is my first trip on her. I’m taking a squint along this coast just to get an idea of the countries where the rubber and red pepper and revolutions come from. I had no idea there was so much scenery down here. Why, Central Park ain’t in it with this neck of the woods. I’m from New York. They get monkeys, and cocoanuts, and parrots down here—is that right?”

“Search me!” said Smith. “I have no idea what she weighs. But she walks nicely. The Rambler—that’s her name—doesn’t kick up dust from anything in the water. This is my first trip on her. I’m taking a look along this coast just to understand the places where rubber, red pepper, and revolutions come from. I had no idea there was so much scenery down here. Honestly, Central Park doesn’t compare to this area. I’m from New York. They have monkeys, coconuts, and parrots down here—right?”

“We have them all,” said Geddie. “I’m quite sure that our fauna and flora would take a prize over Central Park.”

“We have them all,” Geddie said. “I’m pretty sure our plants and animals would win a prize over Central Park.”

“Maybe they would,” admitted Smith, cheerfully. “I haven’t seen them yet. But I guess you’ve got us skinned on the animal and vegetation question. You don’t have much travel here, do you?”

“Maybe they would,” Smith admitted cheerfully. “I haven’t seen them yet. But I guess you’ve got us beat on the animal and plant question. You don’t get much travel here, do you?”

“Travel?” queried the consul. “I suppose you mean passengers on the steamers. No; very few people land in Coralio. An investor now and then—tourists and sight-seers generally go further down the coast to one of the larger towns where there is a harbour.”

“Travel?” asked the consul. “I assume you’re talking about passengers on the steamers. No; very few people disembark in Coralio. An investor now and then—tourists and sightseers usually go further down the coast to one of the larger towns with a harbor.”

“I see a ship out there loading up with bananas,” said Smith. “Any passengers come on her?”

“I see a ship out there loading up with bananas,” said Smith. “Any passengers getting on her?”

“That’s the Karlsefin,” said the consul. “She’s a tramp fruiter—made her last trip to New York, I believe. No; she brought no passengers. I saw her boat come ashore, and there was no one. About the only exciting recreation we have here is watching steamers when they arrive; and a passenger on one of them generally causes the whole town to turn out. If you are going to remain in Coralio a while, Mr. Smith, I’ll be glad to take you around to meet some people. There are four or five American chaps that are good to know, besides the native high-fliers.”

"That's the Karlsefin

“Thanks,” said the yachtsman, “but I wouldn’t put you to the trouble. I’d like to meet the guys you speak of, but I won’t be here long enough to do much knocking around. That cool gent on the beach spoke of a doctor; can you tell me where I could find him? The Rambler ain’t quite as steady on her feet as a Broadway hotel; and a fellow gets a touch of seasickness now and then. Thought I’d strike the croaker for a handful of the little sugar pills, in case I need ’em.”

“Thanks,” said the yachtsman, “but I wouldn’t want to trouble you. I’d like to meet the guys you mentioned, but I won’t be here long enough to do much exploring. That cool guy on the beach talked about a doctor; can you tell me where I could find him? The Rambler isn’t quite as stable as a Broadway hotel; and sometimes a guy gets a bit seasick. I thought I’d check in with the doctor for a supply of those little sugar pills, just in case I need them.”

“You will be apt to find Dr. Gregg at the hotel,” said the consul. “You can see it from the door—it’s that two-story building with the balcony, where the orange-trees are.”

“You'll probably find Dr. Gregg at the hotel,” said the consul. “You can see it from the door—it’s that two-story building with the balcony, where the orange trees are.”

The Hotel de los Estranjeros was a dreary hostelry, in great disuse both by strangers and friends. It stood at a corner of the Street of the Holy Sepulchre. A grove of small orange-trees crowded against one side of it, enclosed by a low, rock wall over which a tall man might easily step. The house was of plastered adobe, stained a hundred shades of colour by the salt breeze and the sun. Upon its upper balcony opened a central door and two windows containing broad jalousies instead of sashes.

The Hotel de los Estranjeros was a gloomy place to stay, hardly used by either travelers or locals. It sat at a corner of the Street of the Holy Sepulchre. A cluster of small orange trees pressed against one side, surrounded by a low rock wall that a tall person could easily jump over. The building was made of plastered adobe, faded in a hundred colors from the salty breeze and the sun. A central door and two windows with wide shutters opened onto its upper balcony.

The lower floor communicated by two doorways with the narrow, rock-paved sidewalk. The pulperia—or drinking shop—of the proprietress, Madama Timotea Ortiz, occupied the ground floor. On the bottles of brandy, anisada, Scotch “smoke” and inexpensive wines behind the little counter the dust lay thick save where the fingers of infrequent customers had left irregular prints. The upper story contained four or five guest-rooms which were rarely put to their destined use. Sometimes a fruit-grower, riding in from his plantation to confer with his agent, would pass a melancholy night in the dismal upper story; sometimes a minor native official on some trifling government quest would have his pomp and majesty awed by Madama’s sepulchral hospitality. But Madama sat behind her bar content, not desiring to quarrel with Fate. If anyone required meat, drink or lodging at the Hotel de los Estranjeros they had but to come, and be served. Está bueno. If they came not, why, then, they came not. Está bueno.

The ground floor was connected by two doorways to the narrow, rocky sidewalk. The pulperia—or tavern—owned by Madama Timotea Ortiz, was on the ground floor. The bottles of brandy, anisada, Scotch “smoke,” and cheap wines behind the small counter were covered in dust except for the smudges left by occasional customers. The second floor had four or five guest rooms that were seldom used. Sometimes a fruit grower would ride in from his plantation to meet with his agent and end up having a dreary night in the gloomy upper floor; other times, a minor local official on some minor government task would find his pomp and majesty humbled by Madama’s grave hospitality. But Madama sat behind her bar, satisfied, not wanting to fight with Fate. If anyone needed food, drink, or a place to stay at the Hotel de los Estranjeros, they just had to come and be served. Está bueno. If they didn’t come, well, then they just didn’t come. Está bueno.

As the exceptional yachtsman was making his way down the precarious sidewalk of the Street of the Holy Sepulchre, the solitary permanent guest of that decaying hotel sat at its door, enjoying the breeze from the sea.

As the skilled yachtsman walked along the narrow sidewalk of the Street of the Holy Sepulchre, the only long-term guest of the rundown hotel sat at its entrance, enjoying the sea breeze.

Dr. Gregg, the quarantine physician, was a man of fifty or sixty, with a florid face and the longest beard between Topeka and Terra del Fuego. He held his position by virtue of an appointment by the Board of Health of a seaport city in one of the Southern states. That city feared the ancient enemy of every Southern seaport—the yellow fever—and it was the duty of Dr. Gregg to examine crew and passengers of every vessel leaving Coralio for preliminary symptoms. The duties were light, and the salary, for one who lived in Coralio, ample. Surplus time there was in plenty; and the good doctor added to his gains by a large private practice among the residents of the coast. The fact that he did not know ten words of Spanish was no obstacle; a pulse could be felt and a fee collected without one being a linguist. Add to the description the facts that the doctor had a story to tell concerning the operation of trepanning which no listener had ever allowed him to conclude, and that he believed in brandy as a prophylactic; and the special points of interest possessed by Dr. Gregg will have become exhausted.

Dr. Gregg, the quarantine doctor, was a man in his fifties or sixties, with a rosy face and the longest beard between Topeka and Tierra del Fuego. He held his position due to an appointment by the Board of Health of a seaport city in one of the Southern states. That city feared the age-old threat to every Southern port—the yellow fever—and it was Dr. Gregg's responsibility to check the crew and passengers of every ship leaving Coralio for early symptoms. The work was light, and the salary, for someone living in Coralio, was generous. There was plenty of spare time, and the good doctor boosted his income with a robust private practice among the local residents. The fact that he couldn't speak more than ten words of Spanish didn't matter; he could check a pulse and collect a fee without needing to be fluent. To add to the picture, the doctor had a story about a trepanning operation that no one had ever let him finish, and he firmly believed in brandy as a preventive measure; with that, all the noteworthy details about Dr. Gregg have been covered.

The doctor had dragged a chair to the sidewalk. He was coatless, and he leaned back against the wall and smoked, while he stroked his beard. Surprise came into his pale blue eyes when he caught sight of Smith in his unusual and prismatic clothes.

The doctor had pulled a chair out onto the sidewalk. He was without a coat, leaning back against the wall while smoking and stroking his beard. His pale blue eyes widened in surprise when he noticed Smith in his strange and colorful clothes.

“You’re Dr. Gregg—is that right?” said Smith, feeling the dog’s head pin in his tie. “The constable—I mean the consul, told me you hung out at this caravansary. My name’s Smith; and I came in a yacht. Taking a cruise around, looking at the monkeys and pineapple-trees. Come inside and have a drink, Doc. This café looks on the blink, but I guess it can set out something wet.”

“Are you Dr. Gregg?” Smith asked, adjusting his tie as the dog nudged it. “The constable—I mean the consul—told me you hang out at this place. I’m Smith, by the way; I came in on a yacht. Just taking a cruise, checking out the monkeys and pineapple trees. Come inside and grab a drink, Doc. This café looks a bit run-down, but I’m sure they can whip up something refreshing.”

“I will join you, sir, in just a taste of brandy,” said Dr. Gregg, rising quickly. “I find that as a prophylactic a little brandy is almost a necessity in this climate.”

“I'll join you for a little bit of brandy, sir,” said Dr. Gregg, standing up quickly. “I find that a small amount of brandy is almost essential in this climate.”

As they turned to enter the pulperia a native man, barefoot, glided noiselessly up and addressed the doctor in Spanish. He was yellowish-brown, like an over-ripe lemon; he wore a cotton shirt and ragged linen trousers girded by a leather belt. His face was like an animal’s, live and wary, but without promise of much intelligence. This man jabbered with animation and so much seriousness that it seemed a pity that his words were to be wasted.

As they turned to enter the pulperia, a native man, barefoot, glided silently up and spoke to the doctor in Spanish. He had a yellowish-brown complexion, like an overripe lemon; he wore a cotton shirt and tattered linen trousers secured with a leather belt. His face was animalistic, alert and cautious, but it didn't show much intelligence. This man spoke with so much enthusiasm and seriousness that it felt like a shame for his words to go to waste.

Dr. Gregg felt his pulse.

Dr. Gregg checked his pulse.

“You sick?” he inquired.

"Are you sick?" he asked.

Mi mujer está enferma en la casa,” said the man, thus endeavouring to convey the news, in the only language open to him, that his wife lay ill in her palm-thatched hut.

My wife is sick at home,” said the man, trying to share the news, in the only way he knew, that his wife was unwell in their palm-thatched hut.

The doctor drew a handful of capsules filled with a white powder from his trousers pocket. He counted out ten of them into the native’s hand, and held up his forefinger impressively.

The doctor pulled a handful of capsules filled with a white powder from his pants pocket. He counted out ten of them into the native's hand and held up his index finger dramatically.

“Take one,” said the doctor, “every two hours.” He then held up two fingers, shaking them emphatically before the native’s face. Next he pulled out his watch and ran his finger round its dial twice. Again the two fingers confronted the patient’s nose. “Two—two—two hours,” repeated the doctor.

“Take one,” said the doctor, “every two hours.” He then held up two fingers, shaking them emphatically in front of the native's face. Next, he pulled out his watch and traced around its dial twice with his finger. Again, the two fingers were pointed at the patient’s nose. “Two—two—two hours,” the doctor repeated.

Si, Señor,” said the native, sadly.

Yes, Sir,” said the native, sadly.

He pulled a cheap silver watch from his own pocket and laid it in the doctor’s hand. “Me bring,” said he, struggling painfully with his scant English, “other watchy to-morrow.” Then he departed downheartedly with his capsules.

He took a cheap silver watch out of his pocket and placed it in the doctor’s hand. “I’ll bring,” he said, struggling awkwardly with his limited English, “another watch tomorrow.” Then he sadly left with his capsules.

“A very ignorant race of people, sir,” said the doctor, as he slipped the watch into his pocket. “He seems to have mistaken my directions for taking the physic for the fee. However, it is all right. He owes me an account, anyway. The chances are that he won’t bring the other watch. You can’t depend on anything they promise you. About that drink, now? How did you come to Coralio, Mr. Smith? I was not aware that any boats except the Karlsefin had arrived for some days.”

“A really clueless group of people, sir,” said the doctor, as he put the watch in his pocket. “He seems to have confused my instructions for taking the medicine with the payment. But it’s all good. He owes me for something else, anyway. There's a good chance he won’t bring the other watch. You can't trust anything they promise you. Speaking of which, how about that drink? How did you get to Coralio, Mr. Smith? I didn’t know any boats besides the Karlsefin had come in for a few days.”

The two leaned against the deserted bar; and Madama set out a bottle without waiting for the doctor’s order. There was no dust on it.

The two leaned against the empty bar, and Madama poured a bottle without waiting for the doctor's request. There was no dust on it.

After they had drank twice Smith said:

After they had drunk twice, Smith said:

“You say there were no passengers on the Karlsefin, Doc? Are you sure about that? It seems to me I heard somebody down on the beach say that there was one or two aboard.”

“You're saying there weren't any passengers on the Karlsefin, Doc? Are you positive about that? I thought I heard someone on the beach mention that there was one or two people on board.”

“They were mistaken, sir. I myself went out and put all hands through a medical examination, as usual. The Karlsefin sails as soon as she gets her bananas loaded, which will be about daylight in the morning, and she got everything ready this afternoon. No, sir, there was no passenger list. Like that Three-Star? A French schooner landed two slooploads of it a month ago. If any customs duties on it went to the distinguished republic of Anchuria you may have my hat. If you won’t have another, come out and let’s sit in the cool a while. It isn’t often we exiles get a chance to talk with somebody from the outside world.”

“They were wrong, sir. I personally went out and had everyone go through a medical exam, as we normally do. The Karlsefin will set sail as soon as she finishes loading her bananas, which will be around dawn tomorrow, and she prepared everything this afternoon. No, sir, there wasn’t a passenger list. Just like that Three-Star? A French schooner dropped off two loads of it a month ago. If any customs duties from it went to the esteemed republic of Anchuria, you can have my hat. If you don’t want another, come outside and let’s sit in the cool for a bit. It’s not often that we exiles get to chat with someone from the outside world.”

The doctor brought out another chair to the sidewalk for his new acquaintance. The two seated themselves.

The doctor took out another chair and put it on the sidewalk for his new friend. The two of them sat down.

“You are a man of the world,” said Dr. Gregg; “a man of travel and experience. Your decision in a matter of ethics and, no doubt, on the points of equity, ability and professional probity should be of value. I would be glad if you will listen to the history of a case that I think stands unique in medical annals.

“You’re a worldly guy,” Dr. Gregg said. “You’ve traveled and have plenty of experience. Your judgment on matters of ethics, as well as fairness, skill, and professional integrity, should be important. I’d appreciate it if you would hear about a case that I believe is truly unique in medical history.”

“About nine years ago, while I was engaged in the practice of medicine in my native city, I was called to treat a case of contusion of the skull. I made the diagnosis that a splinter of bone was pressing upon the brain, and that the surgical operation known as trepanning was required. However, as the patient was a gentleman of wealth and position, I called in for consultation Dr.—”

“About nine years ago, while I was practicing medicine in my hometown, I was called to treat a case of skull concussion. I diagnosed that a splinter of bone was pressing on the brain and that the surgical procedure known as trepanning was necessary. However, since the patient was a wealthy and influential gentleman, I brought in Dr.—”

Smith rose from his chair, and laid a hand, soft with apology, upon the doctor’s shirt sleeve.

Smith stood up from his chair and gently placed a hand, soft with regret, on the doctor’s shirt sleeve.

“Say, Doc,” he said, solemnly, “I want to hear that story. You’ve got me interested; and I don’t want to miss the rest of it. I know it’s a loola by the way it begins; and I want to tell it at the next meeting of the Barney O’Flynn Association, if you don’t mind. But I’ve got one or two matters to attend to first. If I get ’em attended to in time I’ll come right back and hear you spiel the rest before bedtime—is that right?”

“Hey, Doc,” he said seriously, “I want to hear that story. You’ve got my interest, and I don’t want to miss the rest of it. I can tell it’s going to be a wild one by how it starts, and I want to share it at the next meeting of the Barney O’Flynn Association, if that’s okay with you. But I have a couple of things to take care of first. If I get them done in time, I’ll come right back and listen to you finish before bed—sound good?”

“By all means,” said the doctor, “get your business attended to, and then return. I shall wait up for you. You see, one of the most prominent physicians at the consultation diagnosed the trouble as a blood clot; another said it was an abscess, but I—”

“Of course,” said the doctor, “take care of your business, and then come back. I’ll be waiting for you. You see, one of the top doctors at the consultation diagnosed it as a blood clot; another said it was an abscess, but I—”

“Don’t tell me now, Doc. Don’t spoil the story. Wait till I come back. I want to hear it as it runs off the reel—is that right?”

“Don’t tell me now, Doc. Don’t ruin the story. Wait until I get back. I want to hear it as it plays—sound good?”

The mountains reached up their bulky shoulders to receive the level gallop of Apollo’s homing steeds, the day died in the lagoons and in the shadowed banana groves and in the mangrove swamps, where the great blue crabs were beginning to crawl to land for their nightly ramble. And it died, at last, upon the highest peaks. Then the brief twilight, ephemeral as the flight of a moth, came and went; the Southern Cross peeped with its topmost eye above a row of palms, and the fire-flies heralded with their torches the approach of soft-footed night.

The mountains stretched their massive shoulders to welcome the steady run of Apollo's returning horses, the day faded in the lagoons and in the shaded banana trees and in the mangrove swamps, where the big blue crabs started to crawl onto land for their evening walk. And it finally faded away on the highest peaks. Then the short twilight, as fleeting as a moth's flight, came and went; the Southern Cross peeked with its highest point above a line of palm trees, and the fireflies announced with their glowing lights the arrival of silent night.

In the offing the Karlsefin swayed at anchor, her lights seeming to penetrate the water to countless fathoms with their shimmering, lanceolate reflections. The Caribs were busy loading her by means of the great lighters heaped full from the piles of fruit ranged upon the shore.

In the distance, the Karlsefin rocked at anchor, her lights appearing to shine through the water for many fathoms with their shimmering, pointed reflections. The Caribs were busy loading her using the large lighters filled to the brim with the piles of fruit lined up on the shore.

On the sandy beach, with his back against a cocoanut-tree and the stubs of many cigars lying around him, Smith sat waiting, never relaxing his sharp gaze in the direction of the steamer.

On the sandy beach, with his back against a coconut tree and the butts of several cigars scattered around him, Smith sat waiting, never dropping his sharp gaze towards the steamer.

The incongruous yachtsman had concentrated his interest upon the innocent fruiter. Twice had he been assured that no passengers had come to Coralio on board of her. And yet, with a persistence not to be attributed to an idling voyager, he had appealed the case to the higher court of his own eyesight. Surprisingly like some gay-coated lizard, he crouched at the foot of the cocoanut palm, and with the beady, shifting eyes of the selfsame reptile, sustained his espionage on the Karlsefin.

The mismatched yachtsman had focused his attention on the innocent fruit boat. He had been told twice that no passengers had arrived in Coralio aboard her. And yet, with a determination that couldn't be blamed on a bored traveler, he had taken the situation to the higher court of his own eyes. Surprisingly like a brightly colored lizard, he crouched at the base of the coconut palm, and with the beady, darting eyes of the same reptile, continued his watch on the Karlsefin.

On the white sands a whiter gig belonging to the yacht was drawn up, guarded by one of the white-ducked crew. Not far away in a pulperia on the shore-following Calle Grande three other sailors swaggered with their cues around Coralio’s solitary billiard-table. The boat lay there as if under orders to be ready for use at any moment. There was in the atmosphere a hint of expectation, of waiting for something to occur, which was foreign to the air of Coralio.

On the white sands, a whiter dinghy belonging to the yacht was pulled up, watched over by one of the crew in white shorts. Not far away in a pulperia on the shore along Calle Grande, three other sailors strutted around Coralio’s lonely billiard table with their cues. The boat was there as if it was ready to go at any moment. There was a sense of anticipation in the air, something about to happen that felt out of place in Coralio.

Like some passing bird of brilliant plumage, Smith alights on this palmy shore but to preen his wings for an instant and then to fly away upon silent pinions. When morning dawned there was no Smith, no waiting gig, no yacht in the offing. Smith left no intimation of his mission there, no footprints to show where he had followed the trail of his mystery on the sands of Coralio that night. He came; he spake his strange jargon of the asphalt and the cafés; he sat under the cocoanut-tree, and vanished. The next morning Coralio, Smithless, ate its fried plantain and said: “The man of pictured clothing went himself away.” With the siesta the incident passed, yawning, into history.

Like a passing bird with bright feathers, Smith lands on this sunny shore just to fix his wings for a moment before flying away quietly. When morning came, there was no Smith, no waiting carriage, and no yacht nearby. Smith left no clues about his purpose there, no footprints to show where he had walked on the sands of Coralio that night. He came, spoke his strange language of the city and the cafés, sat under the coconut tree, and then disappeared. The next morning, Coralio, without Smith, enjoyed its fried plantains and said, “The man in colorful clothing has gone.” With the siesta, the incident faded, yawning, into history.

So, for a time, must Smith pass behind the scenes of the play. He comes no more to Coralio nor to Doctor Gregg, who sits in vain, wagging his redundant beard, waiting to enrich his derelict audience with his moving tale of trepanning and jealousy.

So, for a while, Smith has to step away from the spotlight. He no longer visits Coralio or Doctor Gregg, who sits idly, shaking his extra beard, waiting to regale his uninterested audience with his dramatic story of drilling into skulls and jealousy.

But prosperously to the lucidity of these loose pages, Smith shall flutter among them again. In the nick of time he shall come to tell us why he strewed so many anxious cigar stumps around the cocoanut palm that night. This he must do; for, when he sailed away before the dawn in his yacht Rambler, he carried with him the answer to a riddle so big and preposterous that few in Anchuria had ventured even to propound it.

But looking forward to the clarity of these loose pages, Smith will flit among them again. Just in time, he'll come to explain why he scattered so many worried cigar butts around the coconut palm that night. He really needs to do this; because when he set sail before dawn in his yacht Rambler, he took with him the answer to a riddle so huge and absurd that very few in Anchuria had even dared to ask it.

IV
CAUGHT

The plans for the detention of the flying President Miraflores and his companion at the coast line seemed hardly likely to fail. Dr. Zavalla himself had gone to the port of Alazan to establish a guard at that point. At Solitas the Liberal patriot Varras could be depended upon to keep close watch. Goodwin held himself responsible for the district about Coralio.

The plans to detain President Miraflores and his companion along the coast seemed almost certain to succeed. Dr. Zavalla had personally gone to the port of Alazan to set up a guard there. In Solitas, the Liberal patriot Varras could be trusted to keep a close eye on things. Goodwin took responsibility for the area around Coralio.

The news of the president’s flight had been disclosed to no one in the coast towns save trusted members of the ambitious political party that was desirous of succeeding to power. The telegraph wire running from San Mateo to the coast had been cut far up on the mountain trail by an emissary of Zavalla’s. Long before this could be repaired and word received along it from the capital the fugitives would have reached the coast and the question of escape or capture been solved.

The news about the president’s escape had been kept secret from everyone in the coastal towns, except for a few trusted members of the ambitious political party eager to take power. An associate of Zavalla's had cut the telegraph line connecting San Mateo to the coast high up on the mountain trail. By the time this was fixed and word got through from the capital, the fugitives would have already reached the coast, resolving the question of whether they would escape or be caught.

Goodwin had stationed armed sentinels at frequent intervals along the shore for a mile in each direction from Coralio. They were instructed to keep a vigilant lookout during the night to prevent Miraflores from attempting to embark stealthily by means of some boat or sloop found by chance at the water’s edge. A dozen patrols walked the streets of Coralio unsuspected, ready to intercept the truant official should he show himself there.

Goodwin had set up armed guards at regular intervals along the shoreline for a mile in each direction from Coralio. They were told to stay alert during the night to stop Miraflores from trying to secretly board a boat or sloop that might be found by chance at the water’s edge. A dozen patrols moved through the streets of Coralio unnoticed, ready to catch the rogue official if he appeared there.

Goodwin was very well convinced that no precautions had been overlooked. He strolled about the streets that bore such high-sounding names and were but narrow, grass-covered lanes, lending his own aid to the vigil that had been intrusted to him by Bob Englehart.

Goodwin was completely sure that no precautions had been missed. He walked around the streets with grand names that were really just narrow, grassy paths, doing his part for the watch that Bob Englehart had asked him to take on.

The town had begun the tepid round of its nightly diversions. A few leisurely dandies, clad in white duck, with flowing neckties, and swinging slim bamboo canes, threaded the grassy by-ways toward the houses of their favoured señoritas. Those who wooed the art of music dragged tirelessly at whining concertinas, or fingered lugubrious guitars at doors and windows. An occasional soldier from the cuartel, with flapping straw hat, without coat or shoes, hurried by, balancing his long gun like a lance in one hand. From every density of the foliage the giant tree frogs sounded their loud and irritating clatter. Further out, where the by-ways perished at the brink of the jungle, the guttural cries of marauding baboons and the coughing of the alligators in the black estuaries fractured the vain silence of the wood.

The town had started its usual round of nighttime activities. A few relaxed dandy types, dressed in white fabric, with loose neckties and swinging slim bamboo canes, strolled down the grassy paths toward the homes of their favorite señoritas. Those who followed musical pursuits tirelessly played whiny concertinas or strummed melancholic guitars at doors and windows. Occasionally, a soldier from the cuartel, wearing a floppy straw hat and no coat or shoes, rushed by, holding his long gun like a lance in one hand. From the thick foliage, the giant tree frogs created their loud and annoying racket. Further out, where the paths ended at the edge of the jungle, the deep cries of roaming baboons and the coughs of alligators in the dark estuaries shattered the empty silence of the woods.

By ten o’clock the streets were deserted. The oil lamps that had burned, a sickly yellow, at random corners, had been extinguished by some economical civic agent. Coralio lay sleeping calmly between toppling mountains and encroaching sea like a stolen babe in the arms of its abductors. Somewhere over in that tropical darkness—perhaps already threading the profundities of the alluvial lowlands—the high adventurer and his mate were moving toward land’s end. The game of Fox-in-the-Morning should be coming soon to its close.

By ten o'clock, the streets were empty. The oil lamps that flickered a sickly yellow at random corners had been put out by some budget-conscious city worker. Coralio lay peacefully asleep between looming mountains and the encroaching sea, like a stolen child in the arms of its kidnappers. Somewhere in that tropical darkness—maybe already navigating the depths of the rich lowlands—the daring adventurer and his companion were heading toward the edge of the land. The game of Fox-in-the-Morning should be wrapping up soon.

Goodwin, at his deliberate gait, passed the long, low cuartel where Coralio’s contingent of Anchuria’s military force slumbered, with its bare toes pointed heavenward. There was a law that no civilian might come so near the headquarters of that citadel of war after nine o’clock, but Goodwin was always forgetting the minor statutes.

Goodwin, walking at his usual pace, passed the long, low cuartel where Coralio’s group of Anchuria’s military force slept, its bare toes pointing skyward. There was a law that civilians couldn’t get this close to the military headquarters after nine o’clock, but Goodwin often forgot the minor rules.

Quién vive?” shrieked the sentinel, wrestling prodigiously with his lengthy musket.

Who goes there?” yelled the guard, struggling mightily with his long musket.

Americano,” growled Goodwin, without turning his head, and passed on, unhalted.

Americano,” muttered Goodwin, without looking back, and kept walking, undeterred.

To the right he turned, and to the left up the street that ultimately reached the Plaza Nacional. When within the toss of a cigar stump from the intersecting Street of the Holy Sepulchre, he stopped suddenly in the pathway.

To the right he turned, and to the left up the street that eventually led to the Plaza Nacional. When he was just a toss of a cigar stump away from the intersecting Street of the Holy Sepulchre, he suddenly stopped in the path.

He saw the form of a tall man, clothed in black and carrying a large valise, hurry down the cross-street in the direction of the beach. And Goodwin’s second glance made him aware of a woman at the man’s elbow on the farther side, who seemed to urge forward, if not even to assist, her companion in their swift but silent progress. They were no Coralians, those two.

He saw a tall man dressed in black, hurrying down the side street toward the beach while carrying a large suitcase. On the man’s other side, a woman appeared to be encouraging him, if not even helping, as they moved quickly and quietly. Those two were definitely not Coralians.

Goodwin followed at increased speed, but without any of the artful tactics that are so dear to the heart of the sleuth. The American was too broad to feel the instinct of the detective. He stood as an agent for the people of Anchuria, and but for political reasons he would have demanded then and there the money. It was the design of his party to secure the imperilled fund, to restore it to the treasury of the country, and to declare itself in power without bloodshed or resistance.

Goodwin trailed behind at a faster pace, but without any of the clever strategies that detectives love. The American was too straightforward to have the instincts of a detective. He acted as a representative for the people of Anchuria, and if it weren’t for political reasons, he would have demanded the money right then and there. His party aimed to protect the endangered funds, return them to the country's treasury, and assert their authority without violence or opposition.

The couple halted at the door of the Hotel de los Estranjeros, and the man struck upon the wood with the impatience of one unused to his entry being stayed. Madama was long in response; but after a time her light showed, the door was opened, and the guests housed.

The couple stopped at the door of the Hotel de los Estranjeros, and the man knocked on the wood with the impatience of someone not used to having his entrance delayed. Madama took a while to respond; but after some time, her light appeared, the door was opened, and the guests were welcomed inside.

Goodwin stood in the quiet street, lighting another cigar. In two minutes a faint gleam began to show between the slats of the jalousies in the upper story of the hotel. “They have engaged rooms,” said Goodwin to himself. “So, then, their arrangements for sailing have yet to be made.”

Goodwin stood in the silent street, lighting another cigar. In a couple of minutes, a faint glow started to appear between the slats of the blinds on the upper floor of the hotel. “They’ve booked rooms,” Goodwin said to himself. “So, their plans for sailing haven’t been sorted out yet.”

At that moment there came along one Estebán Delgado, a barber, an enemy to existing government, a jovial plotter against stagnation in any form. This barber was one of Coralio’s saddest dogs, often remaining out of doors as late as eleven, post meridian. He was a partisan Liberal; and he greeted Goodwin with flatulent importance as a brother in the cause. But he had something important to tell.

At that moment, Estebán Delgado, a barber who opposed the current government and was a cheerful schemer against any form of stagnation, showed up. This barber was one of Coralio’s most sorrowful individuals, often staying outside as late as eleven at night. He was a committed Liberal and greeted Goodwin with exaggerated significance as a fellow supporter of the cause. But he had something important to share.

“What think you, Don Frank!” he cried, in the universal tone of the conspirator. “I have to-night shaved la barba—what you call the ‘weeskers’ of the Presidente himself, of this countree! Consider! He sent for me to come. In the poor casita of an old woman he awaited me—in a verree leetle house in a dark place. Carramba!—el Señor Presidente to make himself thus secret and obscured! I think he desired not to be known—but, carajo! can you shave a man and not see his face? This gold piece he gave me, and said it was to be all quite still. I think, Don Frank, there is what you call a chip over the bug.”

“What do you think, Don Frank?” he exclaimed, in the conspiratorial tone everyone understands. “Tonight, I shaved la barba—what you call the ‘whiskers’ of the Presidente himself, of this country! Think about it! He sent for me to come. He waited for me in the small casita of an old woman—in a really tiny house in a dark spot. Carramba!—the Señor Presidente went all out to be so secretive and hidden! I believe he didn’t want to be recognized—but, carajo! can you shave a man and not see his face? He gave me this gold piece and told me to keep it completely quiet. I think, Don Frank, there’s something going on that you could say is a chip over the bug.”

“Have you ever seen President Miraflores before?” asked Goodwin.

“Have you ever seen President Miraflores before?” Goodwin asked.

“But once,” answered Estebán. “He is tall; and he had weeskers, verree black and sufficient.”

“But once,” answered Estebán. “He is tall; and he had whiskers, very black and quite enough.”

“Was anyone else present when you shaved him?”

“Was anyone else there when you shaved him?”

“An old Indian woman, Señor, that belonged with the casa, and one señorita—a ladee of so much beautee!—ah, Dios!

“An old Indian woman, sir, who lived at the house, and one young lady—a lady of such beauty!—oh, God!

“All right, Estebán,” said Goodwin. “It’s very lucky that you happened along with your tonsorial information. The new administration will be likely to remember you for this.”

“All right, Estebán,” said Goodwin. “It’s really fortunate that you showed up with your grooming knowledge. The new administration will probably remember you for this.”

Then in a few words he made the barber acquainted with the crisis into which the affairs of the nation had culminated, and instructed him to remain outside, keeping watch upon the two sides of the hotel that looked upon the street, and observing whether anyone should attempt to leave the house by any door or window. Goodwin himself went to the door through which the guests had entered, opened it and stepped inside.

Then, in just a few words, he filled the barber in on the crisis that the nation was facing and told him to stay outside, keeping an eye on both sides of the hotel that faced the street, watching for anyone trying to leave through any door or window. Goodwin himself went to the door where the guests had entered, opened it, and stepped inside.

Madama had returned downstairs from her journey above to see after the comfort of her lodgers. Her candle stood upon the bar. She was about to take a thimbleful of rum as a solace for having her rest disturbed. She looked up without surprise or alarm as her third caller entered.

Madama had come back downstairs from her trip upstairs to check on the comfort of her guests. Her candle was on the bar. She was about to take a small shot of rum to ease the disruption of her rest. She looked up without surprise or concern as her third visitor walked in.

“Ah! it is the Señor Goodwin. Not often does he honour my poor house by his presence.”

“Ah! It's Señor Goodwin. He doesn't often bless my humble home with his presence.”

“I must come oftener,” said Goodwin, with the Goodwin smile. “I hear that your cognac is the best between Belize to the north and Rio to the south. Set out the bottle, Madama, and let us have the proof in un vasito for each of us.”

“I need to come by more often,” said Goodwin, with the Goodwin smile. “I’ve heard that your cognac is the best from Belize to the north and Rio to the south. Bring out the bottle, Madama, and let’s have a little shot for each of us.”

“My aguardiente,” said Madama, with pride, “is the best. It grows, in beautiful bottles, in the dark places among the banana-trees. Si, Señor. Only at midnight can they be picked by sailor-men who bring them, before daylight comes, to your back door. Good aguardiente is a verree difficult fruit to handle, Señor Goodwin.”

“My aguardiente,” said Madama, with pride, “is the best. It comes in beautiful bottles from the dark spots among the banana trees. Yes, Sir. Only at midnight can they be collected by sailors who bring them, before dawn, to your back door. Good aguardiente is a very difficult fruit to manage, Sir Goodwin.”

Smuggling, in Coralio, was much nearer than competition to being the life of trade. One spoke of it slyly, yet with a certain conceit, when it had been well accomplished.

Smuggling in Coralio was much closer than competition to being the essence of trade. It was talked about slyly, yet with a certain pride, when it was done successfully.

“You have guests in the house to-night,” said Goodwin, laying a silver dollar upon the counter.

“You have guests in the house tonight,” said Goodwin, placing a silver dollar on the counter.

“Why not?” said Madama, counting the change. “Two; but the smallest while finished to arrive. One señor, not quite old, and one señorita of sufficient handsomeness. To their rooms they have ascended, not desiring the to-eat nor the to-drink. Two rooms—Numero 9 and Numero 10.”

“Why not?” said Madama, counting the change. “Two; but the smallest is still on the way. One man, not quite old, and one woman of decent beauty. They’ve gone up to their rooms, not wanting to eat or drink. Two rooms—Number 9 and Number 10.”

“I was expecting that gentleman and that lady,” said Goodwin. “I have important negocios that must be transacted. Will you allow me to see them?”

“I was expecting that guy and that girl,” said Goodwin. “I have important business that needs to be dealt with. Can I please see them?”

“Why not?” sighed Madama, placidly. “Why should not Señor Goodwin ascend and speak to his friends? Está bueno. Room Numero 9 and room Numero 10.”

“Why not?” sighed Madama, calmly. “Why shouldn’t Señor Goodwin go up and talk to his friends? Sounds good. Room Number 9 and room Number 10.”

Goodwin loosened in his coat pocket the American revolver that he carried, and ascended the steep, dark stairway.

Goodwin relaxed the American revolver in his coat pocket and climbed the steep, dark staircase.

In the hallway above, the saffron light from a hanging lamp allowed him to select the gaudy numbers on the doors. He turned the knob of Number 9, entered and closed the door behind him.

In the hallway above, the orange light from a hanging lamp helped him pick out the flashy numbers on the doors. He turned the knob of Number 9, walked in, and shut the door behind him.

If that was Isabel Guilbert seated by the table in that poorly furnished room, report had failed to do her charms justice. She rested her head upon one hand. Extreme fatigue was signified in every line of her figure; and upon her countenance a deep perplexity was written. Her eyes were gray-irised, and of that mould that seems to have belonged to the orbs of all the famous queens of hearts. Their whites were singularly clear and brilliant, concealed above the irises by heavy horizontal lids, and showing a snowy line below them. Such eyes denote great nobility, vigour, and, if you can conceive of it, a most generous selfishness. She looked up when the American entered with an expression of surprised inquiry, but without alarm.

If that was Isabel Guilbert sitting at the table in that sparsely furnished room, the reports definitely didn’t capture her beauty. She rested her head on one hand. Extreme exhaustion was evident in every line of her figure, and her face displayed deep confusion. Her eyes were gray with a shape that seemed to belong to all the legendary queens of hearts. The whites of her eyes were exceptionally clear and bright, partially hidden above the irises by heavy, horizontal eyelids, and showing a white line below them. Such eyes indicate great nobility, energy, and, if you can imagine it, a very generous selfishness. She looked up when the American walked in, expressing surprise and curiosity, but no fear.

Goodwin took off his hat and seated himself, with his characteristic deliberate ease, upon a corner of the table. He held a lighted cigar between his fingers. He took this familiar course because he was sure that preliminaries would be wasted upon Miss Guilbert. He knew her history, and the small part that the conventions had played in it.

Goodwin took off his hat and sat down, with his usual relaxed style, on a corner of the table. He held a lit cigar between his fingers. He chose this familiar approach because he knew that small talk would be pointless with Miss Guilbert. He was aware of her background and the minimal role that social conventions had in it.

“Good evening,” he said. “Now, madame, let us come to business at once. You will observe that I mention no names, but I know who is in the next room, and what he carries in that valise. That is the point which brings me here. I have come to dictate terms of surrender.”

“Good evening,” he said. “Now, ma'am, let’s get down to business right away. You'll notice I’m not naming anyone, but I know who’s in the next room and what he has in that suitcase. That’s the reason I’m here. I’ve come to lay out the terms of surrender.”

The lady neither moved nor replied, but steadily regarded the cigar in Goodwin’s hand.

The woman didn't move or respond, but continued to gaze at the cigar in Goodwin's hand.

“We,” continued the dictator, thoughtfully regarding the neat buckskin shoe on his gently swinging foot—“I speak for a considerable majority of the people—demand the return of the stolen funds belonging to them. Our terms go very little further than that. They are very simple. As an accredited spokesman, I promise that our interference will cease if they are accepted. Give up the money, and you and your companion will be permitted to proceed wherever you will. In fact, assistance will be given you in the matter of securing a passage by any outgoing vessel you may choose. It is on my personal responsibility that I add congratulations to the gentleman in Number 10 upon his taste in feminine charms.”

“We,” the dictator continued, thoughtfully looking at his neatly polished buckskin shoe swinging gently, “represent a significant majority of the people and demand the return of the stolen funds that belong to them. Our demands are straightforward and don’t go much further than that. If you accept, I promise that our involvement will stop. Hand over the money, and you and your companion will be free to go wherever you want. In fact, we’ll even help you secure passage on any outgoing vessel you choose. Personally, I’d like to congratulate the gentleman in Number 10 on his excellent taste in women.”

Returning his cigar to his mouth, Goodwin observed her, and saw that her eyes followed it and rested upon it with icy and significant concentration. Apparently she had not heard a word he had said. He understood, tossed the cigar out the window, and, with an amused laugh, slid from the table to his feet.

Returning his cigar to his mouth, Goodwin watched her and noticed that her eyes tracked it, focusing on it with a cold and intense concentration. She seemed to have missed everything he said. He realized this, tossed the cigar out the window, and with a chuckle, got up from the table.

“That is better,” said the lady. “It makes it possible for me to listen to you. For a second lesson in good manners, you might now tell me by whom I am being insulted.”

“That’s better,” said the lady. “It allows me to listen to you. For a second lesson in good manners, you could now tell me who is insulting me.”

“I am sorry,” said Goodwin, leaning one hand on the table, “that my time is too brief for devoting much of it to a course of etiquette. Come, now; I appeal to your good sense. You have shown yourself, in more than one instance, to be well aware of what is to your advantage. This is an occasion that demands the exercise of your undoubted intelligence. There is no mystery here. I am Frank Goodwin; and I have come for the money. I entered this room at a venture. Had I entered the other I would have had it before now. Do you want it in words? The gentleman in Number 10 has betrayed a great trust. He has robbed his people of a large sum, and it is I who will prevent their losing it. I do not say who that gentleman is; but if I should be forced to see him and he should prove to be a certain high official of the republic, it will be my duty to arrest him. The house is guarded. I am offering you liberal terms. It is not absolutely necessary that I confer personally with the gentleman in the next room. Bring me the valise containing the money, and we will call the affair ended.”

“I’m sorry,” said Goodwin, leaning one hand on the table, “that my time is too limited to spend much of it on etiquette. Come on; I’m appealing to your common sense. You’ve shown more than once that you know what’s in your best interest. This is a situation that requires your undeniable intelligence. There’s no mystery here. I’m Frank Goodwin, and I’ve come for the money. I came into this room on a whim. If I had gone into the other room, I would have it by now. Do you want me to spell it out? The gentleman in Number 10 has betrayed a great trust. He has stolen a large sum from his people, and I am here to stop them from losing it. I’m not saying who that gentleman is; but if I have to see him and he turns out to be a certain high official of the republic, it will be my duty to arrest him. The house is guarded. I’m offering you generous terms. It’s not absolutely necessary for me to meet personally with the gentleman in the next room. Just bring me the suitcase with the money, and we’ll consider the matter settled.”

The lady arose from her chair and stood for a moment, thinking deeply.

The woman got up from her chair and stood for a moment, lost in thought.

“Do you live here, Mr. Goodwin?” she asked, presently.

“Do you live here, Mr. Goodwin?” she asked, now.

“Yes.”

"Yeah."

“What is your authority for this intrusion?”

“What gives you the right to interrupt?”

“I am an instrument of the republic. I was advised by wire of the movements of the—gentleman in Number 10.”

“I am a tool of the republic. I was informed by phone about the movements of the guy in Number 10.”

“May I ask you two or three questions? I believe you to be a man more apt to be truthful than—timid. What sort of a town is this—Coralio, I think they call it?”

“Can I ask you a couple of questions? I believe you're more likely to be honest than shy. What kind of town is this—Coralio, I think it's called?”

“Not much of a town,” said Goodwin, smiling. “A banana town, as they run. Grass huts, ’dobes, five or six two-story houses, accommodations limited, population half-breed Spanish and Indian, Caribs and blackamoors. No sidewalks to speak of, no amusements. Rather unmoral. That’s an offhand sketch, of course.”

“Not much of a town,” Goodwin said with a smile. “It's a banana town, as they call it. Grass huts, adobe houses, five or six two-story buildings, limited accommodations, and a mix of half-breed Spanish and Indian, Caribs, and black people. No real sidewalks, no entertainment. Quite immoral. That’s just a quick overview, of course.”

“Are there any inducements, say in a social or in a business way, for people to reside here?”

“Are there any incentives, like social or business benefits, for people to live here?”

“Oh, yes,” answered Goodwin, smiling broadly. “There are no afternoon teas, no hand-organs, no department stores—and there is no extradition treaty.”

“Oh, yes,” replied Goodwin, grinning widely. “There are no afternoon teas, no street performers, no department stores—and there’s no extradition treaty.”

“He told me,” went on the lady, speaking as if to herself, and with a slight frown, “that there were towns on this coast of beauty and importance; that there was a pleasing social order—especially an American colony of cultured residents.”

“He told me,” the lady continued, almost to herself and with a slight frown, “that there are towns along this coast that are beautiful and significant; that there’s a charming social structure—especially an American community of cultured residents.”

“There is an American colony,” said Goodwin, gazing at her in some wonder. “Some of the members are all right. Some are fugitives from justice from the States. I recall two exiled bank presidents, one army paymaster under a cloud, a couple of manslayers, and a widow—arsenic, I believe, was the suspicion in her case. I myself complete the colony, but, as yet, I have not distinguished myself by any particular crime.”

“There’s an American colony,” Goodwin said, looking at her with some surprise. “Some of the members are decent people. Others are fugitives from justice from the States. I remember two exiled bank presidents, one army paymaster with a questionable reputation, a couple of murderers, and a widow—there was some suspicion of arsenic in her case. I’m the last one to join the colony, but so far, I haven’t stood out for any specific crime.”

“Do not lose hope,” said the lady, dryly; “I see nothing in your actions to-night to guarantee you further obscurity. Some mistake has been made; I do not know just where. But him you shall not disturb to-night. The journey has fatigued him so that he has fallen asleep, I think, in his clothes. You talk of stolen money! I do not understand you. Some mistake has been made. I will convince you. Remain where you are and I will bring you the valise that you seem to covet so, and show it to you.”

“Don’t lose hope,” the lady said flatly; “I don’t see anything in your actions tonight that guarantees you any more obscurity. A mistake has been made; I’m not sure where. But you won’t disturb him tonight. The journey has tired him out to the point that he’s fallen asleep, I believe, in his clothes. You’re talking about stolen money! I don’t get it. There has been a mistake. I will prove it to you. Stay where you are, and I will bring you the suitcase you seem so eager for and show it to you.”

She moved toward the closed door that connected the two rooms, but stopped, and half turned and bestowed upon Goodwin a grave, searching look that ended in a quizzical smile.

She walked over to the closed door that linked the two rooms but paused, half-turned, and gave Goodwin a serious, probing look that ended with a curious smile.

“You force my door,” she said, “and you follow your ruffianly behaviour with the basest accusations; and yet”—she hesitated, as if to reconsider what she was about to say—“and yet—it is a puzzling thing—I am sure there has been some mistake.”

“You break into my home,” she said, “and you follow your brutish behavior with the most shameful accusations; and yet”—she paused, as if to rethink what she was about to say—“and yet—it’s strange—I’m certain there’s been some mistake.”

She took a step toward the door, but Goodwin stayed her by a light touch upon her arm. I have said before that women turned to look at him in the streets. He was the viking sort of man, big, good-looking, and with an air of kindly truculence. She was dark and proud, glowing or pale as her mood moved her. I do not know if Eve were light or dark, but if such a woman had stood in the garden I know that the apple would have been eaten. This woman was to be Goodwin’s fate, and he did not know it; but he must have felt the first throes of destiny, for, as he faced her, the knowledge of what report named her turned bitter in his throat.

She stepped toward the door, but Goodwin stopped her with a gentle touch on her arm. I’ve mentioned before that women turned to look at him in the streets. He had that viking look—tall, handsome, and exuding a friendly toughness. She was dark and proud, her complexion shifting from glowing to pale depending on her mood. I don’t know if Eve was light or dark, but if such a woman had been in the garden, I’m sure the apple would have been eaten. This woman was to become Goodwin’s destiny, though he was unaware; yet he must have felt the first stirrings of fate, because as he faced her, the knowledge of what others called her turned bitter in his throat.

“If there has been any mistake,” he said, hotly, “it was yours. I do not blame the man who has lost his country, his honour, and is about to lose the poor consolation of his stolen riches as much as I blame you, for, by Heaven! I can very well see how he was brought to it. I can understand, and pity him. It is such women as you that strew this degraded coast with wretched exiles, that make men forget their trusts, that drag—”

“If there’s been any mistake,” he said angrily, “it was yours. I can’t blame the man who has lost his country, his honor, and is about to lose the little consolation of his stolen wealth as much as I blame you, because, by heaven! I can see exactly how he ended up like this. I can understand and feel sorry for him. It’s women like you who leave this degraded coast filled with miserable exiles, who make men forget their responsibilities, who drag—”

The lady interrupted him with a weary gesture.

The lady cut him off with a tired wave.

“There is no need to continue your insults,” she said, coldly. “I do not understand what you are saying, nor do I know what mad blunder you are making; but if the inspection of the contents of a gentleman’s portmanteau will rid me of you, let us delay it no longer.”

“There’s no need to keep insulting me,” she said, coldly. “I don’t understand what you’re saying, and I have no idea what foolish mistake you’re making; but if looking through a gentleman’s suitcase will get rid of you, let’s not wait any longer.”

She passed quickly and noiselessly into the other room, and returned with the heavy leather valise, which she handed to the American with an air of patient contempt.

She moved swiftly and silently into the other room and came back with the heavy leather suitcase, which she handed to the American with a look of tired disregard.

Goodwin set the valise quickly upon the table and began to unfasten the straps. The lady stood by, with an expression of infinite scorn and weariness upon her face.

Goodwin quickly placed the suitcase on the table and started to unbuckle the straps. The woman stood nearby, her face showing endless disdain and fatigue.

The valise opened wide to a powerful, sidelong wrench. Goodwin dragged out two or three articles of clothing, exposing the bulk of its contents—package after package of tightly packed United States bank and treasury notes of large denomination. Reckoning from the high figures written upon the paper bands that bound them, the total must have come closely upon the hundred thousand mark.

The suitcase swung open with a strong, sideways pull. Goodwin pulled out two or three pieces of clothing, revealing what was mostly inside—package after package of tightly packed U.S. bank and treasury notes of large denominations. Judging by the high amounts written on the paper bands that wrapped them, the total must have been nearly a hundred thousand dollars.

Goodwin glanced swiftly at the woman, and saw, with surprise and a thrill of pleasure that he wondered at, that she had experienced an unmistakable shock. Her eyes grew wide, she gasped, and leaned heavily against the table. She had been ignorant, then, he inferred, that her companion had looted the government treasury. But why, he angrily asked himself, should he be so well pleased to think this wandering and unscrupulous singer not so black as report had painted her?

Goodwin quickly glanced at the woman and was surprised, feeling a thrill of pleasure he didn’t quite understand, to see that she had clearly been shocked. Her eyes widened, she gasped, and leaned heavily against the table. He realized, then, that she hadn’t known her companion had stolen from the government treasury. But why, he angrily wondered, did he feel so pleased to think that this wandering and irresponsible singer wasn’t as bad as people had said she was?

A noise in the other room startled them both. The door swung open, and a tall, elderly, dark complexioned man, recently shaven, hurried into the room.

A noise in the other room shocked them both. The door flew open, and a tall, older man with dark skin, freshly shaven, rushed into the room.

All the pictures of President Miraflores represent him as the possessor of a luxuriant supply of dark and carefully tended whiskers; but the story of the barber, Estebán, had prepared Goodwin for the change.

All the pictures of President Miraflores show him with a full set of dark, well-groomed whiskers; but the story of the barber, Estebán, had prepared Goodwin for the change.

The man stumbled in from the dark room, his eyes blinking at the lamplight, and heavy from sleep.

The man stumbled in from the dark room, his eyes blinking at the lamp light and heavy with sleep.

“What does this mean?” he demanded in excellent English, with a keen and perturbed look at the American—“robbery?”

“What does this mean?” he asked in perfect English, looking intently and anxiously at the American—“robbery?”

“Very near it,” answered Goodwin. “But I rather think I’m in time to prevent it. I represent the people to whom this money belongs, and I have come to convey it back to them.” He thrust his hand into a pocket of his loose, linen coat.

“Very close,” Goodwin replied. “But I think I can stop it in time. I represent the people this money belongs to, and I’m here to return it to them.” He reached into a pocket of his loose linen coat.

The other man’s hand went quickly behind him.

The other man's hand quickly moved behind him.

“Don’t draw,” called Goodwin, sharply; “I’ve got you covered from my pocket.”

“Don’t move,” called Goodwin firmly; “I’ve got you covered from my pocket.”

The lady stepped forward, and laid one hand upon the shoulder of her hesitating companion. She pointed to the table. “Tell me the truth—the truth,” she said, in a low voice. “Whose money is that?”

The woman stepped forward and placed one hand on the shoulder of her unsure companion. She pointed at the table. “Tell me the truth—the truth,” she said quietly. “Whose money is that?”

The man did not answer. He gave a deep, long-drawn sigh, leaned and kissed her on the forehead, stepped back into the other room and closed the door.

The man didn’t respond. He let out a deep, long sigh, leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, then stepped back into the other room and shut the door.

Goodwin foresaw his purpose, and jumped for the door, but the report of the pistol echoed as his hand touched the knob. A heavy fall followed, and some one swept him aside and struggled into the room of the fallen man.

Goodwin realized what he needed to do and rushed for the door, but the gunshot rang out the moment his hand reached the doorknob. A loud crash followed, and someone pushed him aside and forced their way into the room of the man who had fallen.

A desolation, thought Goodwin, greater than that derived from the loss of cavalier and gold must have been in the heart of the enchantress to have wrung from her, in that moment, the cry of one turning to the all-forgiving, all-comforting earthly consoler—to have made her call out from that bloody and dishonoured room—“Oh, mother, mother, mother!”

A sense of emptiness, Goodwin thought, greater than the loss of a lover and riches must have filled the enchantress's heart to make her cry out at that moment, reaching for an all-forgiving, all-comforting earthly comfort—to have called out from that bloody and dishonored room—“Oh, mother, mother, mother!”

But there was an alarm outside. The barber, Estebán, at the sound of the shot, had raised his voice; and the shot itself had aroused half the town. A pattering of feet came up the street, and official orders rang out on the still air. Goodwin had a duty to perform. Circumstances had made him the custodian of his adopted country’s treasure. Swiftly cramming the money into the valise, he closed it, leaned far out of the window and dropped it into a thick orange-tree in the little inclosure below.

But there was an alarm outside. The barber, Estebán, raised his voice at the sound of the gunshot, and the shot itself woke up half the town. A flurry of footsteps rushed up the street, and official orders echoed in the still air. Goodwin had a responsibility to fulfill. Circumstances had made him the guardian of his adopted country's treasure. Quickly stuffing the money into the suitcase, he closed it, leaned far out of the window, and dropped it into a dense orange tree in the small enclosed area below.

They will tell you in Coralio, as they delight in telling the stranger, of the conclusion of that tragic flight. They will tell you how the upholders of the law came apace when the alarm was sounded—the Comandante in red slippers and a jacket like a head waiter’s and girded sword, the soldiers with their interminable guns, followed by outnumbering officers struggling into their gold lace and epaulettes; the barefooted policemen (the only capables in the lot), and ruffled citizens of every hue and description.

They’ll share with you in Coralio, as they love to do with outsiders, the story of the tragic flight’s end. They’ll mention how the law enforcement rushed in when the alarm was raised—the Comandante in red slippers and a jacket like a waiter’s, with a sword at his side, the soldiers with their never-ending rifles, followed by numerous officers trying to put on their gold lace and epaulettes; the barefoot policemen (the only competent ones among them), and the flustered citizens of all kinds and backgrounds.

They say that the countenance of the dead man was marred sadly by the effects of the shot; but he was identified as the fallen president by both Goodwin and the barber Estebán. On the next morning messages began to come over the mended telegraph wire; and the story of the flight from the capital was given out to the public. In San Mateo the revolutionary party had seized the sceptre of government, without opposition, and the vivas of the mercurial populace quickly effaced the interest belonging to the unfortunate Miraflores.

They say that the dead man's face was sadly damaged from the gunshot; however, both Goodwin and the barber Estebán identified him as the fallen president. The next morning, messages started coming through the repaired telegraph line, and the story of the escape from the capital was shared with the public. In San Mateo, the revolutionary group took control of the government without any resistance, and the cheers of the lively crowd quickly overshadowed any concern for the unfortunate Miraflores.

They will relate to you how the new government sifted the towns and raked the roads to find the valise containing Anchuria’s surplus capital, which the president was known to have carried with him, but all in vain. In Coralio Señor Goodwin himself led the searching party which combed that town as carefully as a woman combs her hair; but the money was not found.

They will tell you how the new government searched the towns and scoured the roads to find the suitcase with Anchuria’s surplus capital, which the president was rumored to have taken with him, but it was all for nothing. In Coralio, Señor Goodwin himself led the search party that checked the town as thoroughly as a woman brushes her hair; but the money was never found.

So they buried the dead man, without honours, back of the town near the little bridge that spans the mangrove swamp; and for a real a boy will show you his grave. They say that the old woman in whose hut the barber shaved the president placed the wooden slab at his head, and burned the inscription upon it with a hot iron.

So they buried the dead man without any honors, behind the town near the small bridge that crosses the mangrove swamp; and for a real price, a boy will show you his grave. They say that the old woman, whose hut the barber used to shave the president in, put the wooden slab at his head and burned the inscription into it with a hot iron.

You will hear also that Señor Goodwin, like a tower of strength, shielded Doña Isabel Guilbert through those subsequent distressful days; and that his scruples as to her past career (if he had any) vanished; and her adventuresome waywardness (if she had any) left her, and they were wedded and were happy.

You will also hear that Señor Goodwin, like a pillar of strength, protected Doña Isabel Guilbert during those tough days that followed; that any doubts he had about her past (if he had any) disappeared; and her adventurous rebelliousness (if she had any) faded away, and they got married and were happy.

The American built a home on a little foothill near the town. It is a conglomerate structure of native woods that, exported, would be worth a fortune, and of brick, palm, glass, bamboo and adobe. There is a paradise of nature about it; and something of the same sort within. The natives speak of its interior with hands uplifted in admiration. There are floors polished like mirrors and covered with hand-woven Indian rugs of silk fibre, tall ornaments and pictures, musical instruments and papered walls—“figure-it-to-yourself!” they exclaim.

The American built a house on a small hillside close to town. It’s a mixed structure made of local woods that would be worth a fortune if exported, along with brick, palm, glass, bamboo, and adobe. There’s a paradise of nature around it, and something similar on the inside. The locals talk about its interior with their hands raised in admiration. There are floors polished to a mirror finish and covered with hand-woven Indian silk rugs, tall decorations, pictures, musical instruments, and wallpaper—“just picture it!” they exclaim.

But they cannot tell you in Coralio (as you shall learn) what became of the money that Frank Goodwin dropped into the orange-tree. But that shall come later; for the palms are fluttering in the breeze, bidding us to sport and gaiety.

But they can’t tell you in Coralio (as you’ll find out) what happened to the money that Frank Goodwin dropped into the orange tree. But that will come later; for the palms are swaying in the breeze, inviting us to have fun and enjoy ourselves.

V
CUPID’S EXILE NUMBER TWO

The United States of America, after looking over its stock of consular timber, selected Mr. John De Graffenreid Atwood, of Dalesburg, Alabama, for a successor to Willard Geddie, resigned.

The United States of America, after reviewing its consular options, chose Mr. John De Graffenreid Atwood from Dalesburg, Alabama, to replace Willard Geddie, who resigned.

Without prejudice to Mr. Atwood, it will have to be acknowledged that, in this instance, it was the man who sought the office. As with the self-banished Geddie, it was nothing less than the artful smiles of lovely woman that had driven Johnny Atwood to the desperate expedient of accepting office under a despised Federal Government so that he might go far, far away and never see again the false, fair face that had wrecked his young life. The consulship at Coralio seemed to offer a retreat sufficiently removed and romantic enough to inject the necessary drama into the pastoral scenes of Dalesburg life.

Without holding anything against Mr. Atwood, it must be recognized that, in this case, it was the man who wanted the position. Just like the self-exiled Geddie, it was nothing less than the charming smiles of beautiful women that pushed Johnny Atwood to the desperate decision of taking a position under a hated Federal Government so that he could escape far away and never again see the deceitful, pretty face that had ruined his young life. The consulship in Coralio appeared to provide a retreat that was distant enough and romantic enough to add the necessary drama to the peaceful scenes of Dalesburg life.

It was while playing the part of Cupid’s exile that Johnny added his handiwork to the long list of casualties along the Spanish Main by his famous manipulation of the shoe market, and his unparalleled feat of elevating the most despised and useless weed in his own country from obscurity to be a valuable product in international commerce.

It was while playing the role of Cupid’s exile that Johnny contributed to the long list of casualties along the Spanish Main with his famous manipulation of the shoe market and his unmatched achievement of lifting the most hated and useless weed in his own country from obscurity to a valuable product in global trade.

The trouble began, as trouble often begins instead of ending, with a romance. In Dalesburg there was a man named Elijah Hemstetter, who kept a general store. His family consisted of one daughter called Rosine, a name that atoned much for “Hemstetter.” This young woman was possessed of plentiful attractions, so that the young men of the community were agitated in their bosoms. Among the more agitated was Johnny, the son of Judge Atwood, who lived in the big colonial mansion on the edge of Dalesburg.

The trouble started, as trouble often does instead of ending, with a romance. In Dalesburg, there was a man named Elijah Hemstetter, who owned a general store. His family included one daughter named Rosine, a name that somewhat redeemed “Hemstetter.” This young woman had plenty of charm, which stirred up feelings in the young men of the community. Among the more stirred was Johnny, the son of Judge Atwood, who lived in the grand colonial mansion on the outskirts of Dalesburg.

It would seem that the desirable Rosine should have been pleased to return the affection of an Atwood, a name honoured all over the state long before and since the war. It does seem that she should have gladly consented to have been led into that stately but rather empty colonial mansion. But not so. There was a cloud on the horizon, a threatening, cumulus cloud, in the shape of a lively and shrewd young farmer in the neighbourhood who dared to enter the lists as a rival to the high-born Atwood.

It looks like the attractive Rosine should have been happy to return the affection of an Atwood, a name respected throughout the state long before and after the war. It seems like she should have willingly agreed to be led into that grand but somewhat empty colonial mansion. But that wasn't the case. There was a dark spot on the horizon, a looming cumulus cloud shaped like a sharp and clever young farmer in the area who dared to compete as a rival to the prestigious Atwood.

One night Johnny propounded to Rosine a question that is considered of much importance by the young of the human species. The accessories were all there—moonlight, oleanders, magnolias, the mock-bird’s song. Whether or no the shadow of Pinkney Dawson, the prosperous young farmer, came between them on that occasion is not known; but Rosine’s answer was unfavourable. Mr. John De Graffenreid Atwood bowed till his hat touched the lawn grass, and went away with his head high, but with a sore wound in his pedigree and heart. A Hemstetter refuse an Atwood! Zounds!

One night, Johnny asked Rosine a question that’s really important to young people. The scene was perfect—moonlight, oleanders, magnolias, and the song of the mockbird. It’s unclear if the shadow of Pinkney Dawson, the successful young farmer, loomed over them at that moment, but Rosine’s response was not positive. Mr. John De Graffenreid Atwood bowed until his hat touched the grass and walked away with his head held high, but with a deep wound in his pride and his heart. A Hemstetter turning down an Atwood! Wow!

Among other accidents of that year was a Democratic president. Judge Atwood was a warhorse of Democracy. Johnny persuaded him to set the wheels moving for some foreign appointment. He would go away—away. Perhaps in years to come Rosine would think how true, how faithful his love had been, and would drop a tear—maybe in the cream she would be skimming for Pink Dawson’s breakfast.

Among other events of that year was a Democratic president. Judge Atwood was a strong supporter of Democracy. Johnny convinced him to start the process for some foreign appointment. He would leave—leave. Maybe in years to come, Rosine would reflect on how genuine, how loyal his love had been, and she might shed a tear—perhaps into the cream she was skimming for Pink Dawson’s breakfast.

The wheels of politics revolved; and Johnny was appointed consul to Coralio. Just before leaving he dropped in at Hemstetter’s to say good-bye. There was a queer, pinkish look about Rosine’s eyes; and had the two been alone, the United States might have had to cast about for another consul. But Pink Dawson was there, of course, talking about his 400-acre orchard, and the three-mile alfalfa tract, and the 200-acre pasture. So Johnny shook hands with Rosine as coolly as if he were only going to run up to Montgomery for a couple of days. They had the royal manner when they chose, those Atwoods.

The wheels of politics turned, and Johnny got appointed as consul to Coralio. Just before leaving, he stopped by Hemstetter’s to say goodbye. Rosine’s eyes had a strange, pinkish look to them; if they had been alone, the United States might have needed to find another consul. But Pink Dawson was there, of course, going on about his 400-acre orchard, his three-mile alfalfa field, and his 200-acre pasture. So Johnny shook hands with Rosine as casually as if he were just heading up to Montgomery for a couple of days. The Atwoods had a royal demeanor when they wanted to.

“If you happen to strike anything in the way of a good investment down there, Johnny,” said Pink Dawson, “just let me know, will you? I reckon I could lay my hands on a few extra thousands ’most any time for a profitable deal.”

“If you come across a good investment down there, Johnny,” said Pink Dawson, “just let me know, okay? I think I could come up with a few extra thousand whenever there’s a profitable deal.”

“Certainly, Pink,” said Johnny, pleasantly. “If I strike anything of the sort I’ll let you in with pleasure.”

“Of course, Pink,” Johnny said cheerfully. “If I come across anything like that, I’ll let you know happily.”

So Johnny went down to Mobile and took a fruit steamer for the coast of Anchuria.

So Johnny went down to Mobile and took a fruit steamer to the coast of Anchuria.

When the new consul arrived in Coralio the strangeness of the scenes diverted him much. He was only twenty-two; and the grief of youth is not worn like a garment as it is by older men. It has its seasons when it reigns; and then it is unseated for a time by the assertion of the keen senses.

When the new consul arrived in Coralio, the oddness of the scenes captivated him. He was just twenty-two, and the sadness of youth isn't carried like a burden as it is by older men. It has its moments when it takes over, and then it's temporarily replaced by the intensity of the senses.

Billy Keogh and Johnny seemed to conceive a mutual friendship at once. Keogh took the new consul about town and presented him to the handful of Americans and the smaller number of French and Germans who made up the “foreign” contingent. And then, of course, he had to be more formally introduced to the native officials, and have his credentials transmitted through an interpreter.

Billy Keogh and Johnny quickly forged a friendship. Keogh showed the new consul around town and introduced him to the few Americans and the even smaller group of French and Germans who formed the "foreign" crowd. Then, of course, he had to be formally introduced to the local officials and have his credentials delivered through an interpreter.

There was something about the young Southerner that the sophisticated Keogh liked. His manner was simple almost to boyishness; but he possessed the cool carelessness of a man of far greater age and experience. Neither uniforms nor titles, red tape nor foreign languages, mountains nor sea weighed upon his spirits. He was heir to all the ages, an Atwood, of Dalesburg; and you might know every thought conceived in his bosom.

There was something about the young Southerner that the sophisticated Keogh found appealing. His demeanor was straightforward, almost childlike; yet he had the laid-back nonchalance of someone much older and more experienced. Neither uniforms nor titles, bureaucracy nor foreign languages, mountains nor oceans dampened his spirits. He was heir to all of history, an Atwood from Dalesburg; and you could understand every thought he had.

Geddie came down to the consulate to explain the duties and workings of the office. He and Keogh tried to interest the new consul in their description of the work that his government expected him to perform.

Geddie came down to the consulate to explain the duties and operations of the office. He and Keogh tried to engage the new consul in their description of the work that his government expected him to do.

“It’s all right,” said Johnny from the hammock that he had set up as the official reclining place. “If anything turns up that has to be done I’ll let you fellows do it. You can’t expect a Democrat to work during his first term of holding office.”

“It’s all good,” said Johnny from the hammock he had set up as the official lounging spot. “If anything comes up that needs to be done, I’ll let you guys handle it. You can’t expect a Democrat to work during their first term in office.”

“You might look over these headings,” suggested Geddie, “of the different lines of exports you will have to keep account of. The fruit is classified; and there are the valuable woods, coffee, rubber—”

“You might want to take a look at these headings,” suggested Geddie, “for the different types of exports you’ll need to keep track of. The fruit is sorted; and then there are the valuable woods, coffee, rubber—”

“That last account sounds all right,” interrupted Mr. Atwood. “Sounds as if it could be stretched. I want to buy a new flag, a monkey, a guitar and a barrel of pineapples. Will that rubber account stretch over ’em?”

“that last account sounds fine,” interrupted Mr. Atwood. “It seems like it could be manipulated. I want to buy a new flag, a monkey, a guitar, and a barrel of pineapples. Will that rubber account cover those?”

“That’s merely statistics,” said Geddie, smiling. “The expense account is what you want. It is supposed to have a slight elasticity. The ‘stationery’ items are sometimes carelessly audited by the State Department.”

"That’s just statistics," Geddie said with a smile. "The expense account is what you really want. It's meant to have a bit of flexibility. The 'stationery' items are sometimes reviewed a bit loosely by the State Department."

“We’re wasting our time,” said Keogh. “This man was born to hold office. He penetrates to the root of the art at one step of his eagle eye. The true genius of government shows its hand in every word of his speech.”

“We're wasting our time,” Keogh said. “This guy was meant to be in office. He gets to the heart of the matter with a single look from his eagle eye. The real genius of government is evident in every word he speaks.”

“I didn’t take this job with any intention of working,” explained Johnny, lazily. “I wanted to go somewhere in the world where they didn’t talk about farms. There are none here, are there?”

“I didn’t take this job to actually work,” Johnny said, casually. “I wanted to go somewhere in the world where they don’t talk about farms. There aren’t any here, right?”

“Not the kind you are acquainted with,” answered the ex-consul. “There is no such art here as agriculture. There never was a plow or a reaper within the boundaries of Anchuria.”

“Not the kind you know,” replied the ex-consul. “There’s no agriculture here. There never has been a plow or a reaper within the limits of Anchuria.”

“This is the country for me,” murmured the consul, and immediately he fell asleep.

“This is the country for me,” the consul whispered, and then he instantly fell asleep.

The cheerful tintypist pursued his intimacy with Johnny in spite of open charges that he did so to obtain a preëmption on a seat in that coveted spot, the rear gallery of the consulate. But whether his designs were selfish or purely friendly, Keogh achieved that desirable privilege. Few were the nights on which the two could not be found reposing there in the sea breeze, with their heels on the railing, and the cigars and brandy conveniently near.

The cheerful tintypist followed his friendship with Johnny despite the public accusations that he was doing it to secure a spot in the coveted back gallery of the consulate. But whether his intentions were self-serving or genuinely friendly, Keogh managed to get that desired privilege. There were few nights when the two weren’t found lounging there in the sea breeze, with their feet on the railing and cigars and brandy within easy reach.

One evening they sat thus, mainly silent, for their talk had dwindled before the stilling influence of an unusual night.

One evening, they sat like that, mostly quiet, as their conversation had faded in the calming atmosphere of an unusual night.

There was a great, full moon; and the sea was mother-of-pearl. Almost every sound was hushed, for the air was but faintly stirring; and the town lay panting, waiting for the night to cool. Offshore lay the fruit steamer Andador, of the Vesuvius line, full-laden and scheduled to sail at six in the morning. There were no loiterers on the beach. So bright was the moonlight that the two men could see the small pebbles shining on the beach where the gentle surf wetted them.

There was a big, bright moon, and the sea looked like mother-of-pearl. Almost every sound was quiet, as the air barely moved; the town lay there, waiting for the night to cool down. Offshore was the fruit steamer Andador, part of the Vesuvius line, fully loaded and set to sail at six in the morning. There were no one hanging around on the beach. The moonlight was so bright that the two men could see the small pebbles shining on the beach where the gentle waves wet them.

Then down the coast, tacking close to shore, slowly swam a little sloop, white-winged like some snowy sea fowl. Its course lay within twenty points of the wind’s eye; so it veered in and out again in long, slow strokes like the movements of a graceful skater.

Then down the coast, sailing close to shore, a small sloop glided along, its white sails resembling a snowy seabird. It was sailing within twenty degrees of the wind's direction, moving in and out in long, smooth strokes like a graceful skater.

Again the tactics of its crew brought it close in shore, this time nearly opposite the consulate; and then there blew from the sloop clear and surprising notes as if from a horn of elfland. A fairy bugle it might have been, sweet and silvery and unexpected, playing with spirit the familiar air of “Home, Sweet Home.”

Again, the crew's tactics brought it in close to the shore, this time almost directly across from the consulate; and then, from the sloop, clear and surprising notes floated out as if from a horn of fantasy. It could have been a fairy bugle, sweet and silvery and unexpected, playing the familiar tune of “Home, Sweet Home” with energy.

It was a scene set for the land of the lotus. The authority of the sea and the tropics, the mystery that attends unknown sails, and the prestige of drifting music on moonlit waters gave it an anodynous charm. Johnny Atwood felt it, and thought of Dalesburg; but as soon as Keogh’s mind had arrived at a theory concerning the peripatetic solo he sprang to the railing, and his ear-rending yawp fractured the silence of Coralio like a cannon shot.

It was a scene fit for the land of the lotus. The power of the sea and the tropics, the intrigue that comes with unfamiliar sails, and the appeal of music floating on moonlit waters created a soothing charm. Johnny Atwood felt it and thought about Dalesburg; but as soon as Keogh formulated a theory about the wandering solo, he jumped to the railing, and his ear-piercing shout shattered the silence of Coralio like a gunshot.

“Mel-lin-ger a-hoy!”

“Mel-lin-ger ahoy!”

The sloop was now on its outward tack; but from it came a clear, answering hail:

The sloop was now heading out, but from it came a clear, responding shout:

“Good-bye, Billy … go-ing home—bye!”

"Goodbye, Billy… going home—bye!"

The Andador was the sloop’s destination. No doubt some passenger with a sailing permit from some up-the-coast point had come down in this sloop to catch the regular fruit steamer on its return trip. Like a coquettish pigeon the little boat tacked on its eccentric way until at last its white sail was lost to sight against the larger bulk of the fruiter’s side.

The Andador was where the sloop was headed. It was clear that a passenger with a sailing permit from somewhere up the coast had used this sloop to catch the regular fruit steamer on its way back. Like a flirtatious pigeon, the small boat zigzagged on its unusual course until finally, its white sail disappeared against the bigger shape of the fruiter's side.

“That’s old H. P. Mellinger,” explained Keogh, dropping back into his chair. “He’s going back to New York. He was private secretary of the late hot-foot president of this grocery and fruit stand that they call a country. His job’s over now; and I guess old Mellinger is glad.”

"That’s old H. P. Mellinger," Keogh explained as he settled back into his chair. "He’s heading back to New York. He was the private secretary of the recently deceased president of this grocery and fruit stand they call a country. His job is finished now, and I think old Mellinger is relieved."

“Why does he disappear to music, like Zo-zo, the magic queen?” asked Johnny. “Just to show ’em that he doesn’t care?”

“Why does he disappear into music, like Zo-zo, the magic queen?” asked Johnny. “Is it just to show them that he doesn’t care?”

“That noise you heard is a phonograph,” said Keogh. “I sold him that. Mellinger had a graft in this country that was the only thing of its kind in the world. The tooting machine saved it for him once, and he always carried it around with him afterward.”

“That noise you heard is a record player,” said Keogh. “I sold it to him. Mellinger had a scheme in this country that was unique in the world. The horn saved him once, and he always kept it with him after that.”

“Tell me about it,” demanded Johnny, betraying interest.

“Tell me about it,” insisted Johnny, showing his interest.

“I’m no disseminator of narratives,” said Keogh. “I can use language for purposes of speech; but when I attempt a discourse the words come out as they will, and they may make sense when they strike the atmosphere, or they may not.”

“I’m not a storyteller,” said Keogh. “I can use language for speaking; but when I try to have a conversation, the words come out however they do, and they might make sense when they hit the air, or they might not.”

“I want to hear about that graft,” persisted Johnny. “You’ve got no right to refuse. I’ve told you all about every man, woman and hitching post in Dalesburg.”

“I want to hear about that graft,” Johnny insisted. “You can’t refuse. I’ve filled you in on every man, woman, and hitching post in Dalesburg.”

“You shall hear it,” said Keogh. “I said my instincts of narrative were perplexed. Don’t you believe it. It’s an art I’ve acquired along with many other of the graces and sciences.”

“You’ll hear it,” Keogh said. “I mentioned that my storytelling instincts were confused. Don’t believe it. It’s a skill I’ve developed along with many other talents and areas of knowledge.”

VI
THE PHONOGRAPH AND THE GRAFT

“What was this graft?” asked Johnny, with the impatience of the great public to whom tales are told.

“What was this graft?” Johnny asked, sounding as impatient as the public that listens to stories.

“’Tis contrary to art and philosophy to give you the information,” said Keogh, calmly. “The art of narrative consists in concealing from your audience everything it wants to know until after you expose your favourite opinions on topics foreign to the subject. A good story is like a bitter pill with the sugar coating inside of it. I will begin, if you please, with a horoscope located in the Cherokee Nation; and end with a moral tune on the phonograph.

“It's against the principles of art and philosophy to give you the information,” said Keogh, calmly. “The art of storytelling is all about keeping your audience in the dark about what they want to know until you've shared your favorite opinions on unrelated topics. A good story is like a bitter pill with a sugary coating inside. I will start, if you don’t mind, with a horoscope from the Cherokee Nation, and finish with a moral tune on the phonograph."

“Me and Henry Horsecollar brought the first phonograph to this country. Henry was a quarter-breed, quarter-back Cherokee, educated East in the idioms of football, and West in contraband whisky, and a gentleman, the same as you and me. He was easy and romping in his ways; a man about six foot, with a kind of rubber-tire movement. Yes, he was a little man about five foot five, or five foot eleven. He was what you would call a medium tall man of average smallness. Henry had quit college once, and the Muscogee jail three times—the last-named institution on account of introducing and selling whisky in the territories. Henry Horsecollar never let any cigar stores come up and stand behind him. He didn’t belong to that tribe of Indians.

“Henry Horsecollar and I brought the first phonograph to this country. Henry was a quarter-breed, a quarter-back Cherokee, educated in the East with a knack for football, and in the West for illegal whisky, and he was a gentleman, just like you and me. He was easygoing and playful; a guy about six feet tall, with a sort of bouncy movement. Yes, he was a small guy, around five foot five or five foot eleven. You could call him a medium tall man of average smallness. Henry had dropped out of college once and had been to Muscogee jail three times—the last time for introducing and selling whisky in the territories. Henry Horsecollar never let any cigar stores come up and stand behind him. He didn’t belong to that tribe of Indians.”

“Henry and me met at Texarkana, and figured out this phonograph scheme. He had $360 which came to him out of a land allotment in the reservation. I had run down from Little Rock on account of a distressful scene I had witnessed on the street there. A man stood on a box and passed around some gold watches, screw case, stem-winders, Elgin movement, very elegant. Twenty bucks they cost you over the counter. At three dollars the crowd fought for the tickers. The man happened to find a valise full of them handy, and he passed them out like putting hot biscuits on a plate. The backs were hard to unscrew, but the crowd put its ear to the case, and they ticked mollifying and agreeable. Three of these watches were genuine tickers; the rest were only kickers. Hey? Why, empty cases with one of them horny black bugs that fly around electric lights in ’em. Them bugs kick off minutes and seconds industrious and beautiful. So, this man I was speaking of cleaned up $288; and then he went away, because he knew that when it came time to wind watches in Little Rock an entomologist would be needed, and he wasn’t one.

“Henry and I met in Texarkana and came up with this phonograph idea. He had $360 from a land allotment in the reservation. I had hurried down from Little Rock because of a troubling scene I saw on the street there. A man was standing on a box, passing around some gold watches—screw case, stem-winders, Elgin movement, very fancy. They cost twenty bucks at the store. But at three dollars, the crowd fought over the watches. The man just happened to have a suitcase full of them, and he handed them out like he was serving hot biscuits. The backs were tough to unscrew, but the crowd pressed their ears to the cases, and they ticked soothingly and agreeably. Three of those watches were real; the rest were just duds. You know, empty cases with one of those little black bugs that buzz around electric lights inside. Those bugs tick away minutes and seconds beautifully. So, this guy I was talking about made $288, and then he left because he knew that when it was time to wind those watches in Little Rock, they would need an entomologist, and he wasn't one.”

“So, as I say, Henry had $360, and I had $288. The idea of introducing the phonograph to South America was Henry’s; but I took to it freely, being fond of machinery of all kinds.

“So, as I said, Henry had $360, and I had $288. The idea of bringing the phonograph to South America was Henry’s; but I embraced it willingly, as I have a passion for all kinds of machines.

“‘The Latin races,’ says Henry, explaining easy in the idioms he learned at college, ‘are peculiarly adapted to be victims of the phonograph. They have the artistic temperament. They yearn for music and color and gaiety. They give wampum to the hand-organ man and the four-legged chicken in the tent when they’re months behind with the grocery and the bread-fruit tree.’

“‘The Latin races,’ says Henry, explaining easily in the languages he learned in college, ‘are especially suited to be fans of the phonograph. They have an artistic temperament. They long for music, color, and happiness. They pay the street performer and the four-legged chicken in the tent even when they’re behind on their grocery bills and the breadfruit tree.’”

“‘Then,’ says I, ‘we’ll export canned music to the Latins; but I’m mindful of Mr. Julius Cæsar’s account of ’em where he says: “Omnia Gallia in tres partes divisa est;” which is the same as to say, “We will need all of our gall in devising means to tree them parties.”’

“‘Then,’ I said, ‘we’ll export canned music to the Latins; but I’m reminded of Mr. Julius Caesar’s description of them where he says: “All Gaul is divided into three parts,” which means, “We will need all our nerve to figure out how to deal with those groups.”’”

“I hated to make a show of education; but I was disinclined to be overdone in syntax by a mere Indian, a member of a race to which we owe nothing except the land on which the United States is situated.

“I hated to flaunt my education; but I didn't want to be outdone in grammar by a mere Indian, a member of a race to which we owe nothing except the land that the United States is built on.

“We bought a fine phonograph in Texarkana—one of the best make—and half a trunkful of records. We packed up, and took the T. and P. for New Orleans. From that celebrated centre of molasses and disfranchised coon songs we took a steamer for South America.

“We bought a great phonograph in Texarkana—one of the best brands—and half a trunk full of records. We packed up and took the T. and P. train to New Orleans. From that famous hub of molasses and disenfranchised jazz songs, we took a steamer to South America.”

“We landed at Solitas, forty miles up the coast from here. ’Twas a palatable enough place to look at. The houses were clean and white; and to look at ’em stuck around among the scenery they reminded you of hard-boiled eggs served with lettuce. There was a block of skyscraper mountains in the suburbs; and they kept pretty quiet, like they had crept up there and were watching the town. And the sea was remarking ‘Sh-sh-sh’ on the beach; and now and then a ripe cocoanut would drop kerblip in the sand; and that was all there was doing. Yes, I judge that town was considerably on the quiet. I judge that after Gabriel quits blowing his horn, and the car starts, with Philadelphia swinging to the last strap, and Pine Gully, Arkansas, hanging onto the rear step, this town of Solitas will wake up and ask if anybody spoke.

“We landed at Solitas, forty miles up the coast from here. It was a decent enough place to look at. The houses were clean and white; and looking at them scattered among the scenery reminded you of hard-boiled eggs served with lettuce. There was a range of tall mountains in the suburbs; and they stayed pretty quiet, like they had crept up there and were watching the town. The sea was softly whispering ‘Sh-sh-sh’ on the beach; and now and then, a ripe coconut would drop with a plop in the sand; and that was about it. Yeah, I’d say that town was pretty quiet. I figure that after Gabriel stops blowing his horn, and the car starts, with Philadelphia hanging on till the last moment, and Pine Gully, Arkansas, clinging to the back step, this town of Solitas will wake up and wonder if anyone said something.

“The captain went ashore with us, and offered to conduct what he seemed to like to call the obsequies. He introduced Henry and me to the United States Consul, and a roan man, the head of the Department of Mercenary and Licentious Dispositions, the way it read upon his sign.

“The captain came ashore with us and offered to take charge of what he liked to call the funeral. He introduced Henry and me to the U.S. Consul and a man with a reddish-brown complexion, the head of the Department of Mercenary and Licentious Dispositions, according to his sign.”

“‘I touch here again a week from to-day,’ says the captain.

“I'll be back here a week from today,” says the captain.

“‘By that time,’ we told him, ‘we’ll be amassing wealth in the interior towns with our galvanized prima donna and correct imitations of Sousa’s band excavating a march from a tin mine.’

“‘By then,’ we told him, ‘we’ll be raking in cash in the small towns with our flashy star performer and spot-on imitations of Sousa’s band digging up a march from a tin mine.’”

“‘Ye’ll not,’ says the captain. ‘Ye’ll be hypnotized. Any gentleman in the audience who kindly steps upon the stage and looks this country in the eye will be converted to the hypothesis that he’s but a fly in the Elgin creamery. Ye’ll be standing knee deep in the surf waiting for me, and your machine for making Hamburger steak out of the hitherto respected art of music will be playing “There’s no place like home.”’

“'You won't,' says the captain. 'You'll be hypnotized. Any gentleman in the audience who kindly steps onto the stage and looks this country in the eye will be convinced that he's just a fly in the Elgin creamery. You'll be standing knee-deep in the surf waiting for me, and your machine for turning the formerly respected art of music into Hamburger steak will be playing “There’s no place like home.”'”

“Henry skinned a twenty off his roll, and received from the Bureau of Mercenary Dispositions a paper bearing a red seal and a dialect story, and no change.

“Henry took twenty bucks off his stack and got a paper with a red seal and a dialect story from the Bureau of Mercenary Dispositions, and no change.”

“Then we got the consul full of red wine, and struck him for a horoscope. He was a thin, youngish kind of man, I should say past fifty, sort of French-Irish in his affections, and puffed up with disconsolation. Yes, he was a flattened kind of a man, in whom drink lay stagnant, inclined to corpulence and misery. Yes, I think he was a kind of Dutchman, being very sad and genial in his ways.

“Then we got the consul drunk on red wine and asked him for a horoscope. He was a thin, somewhat young-looking guy, I’d say over fifty, with a mix of French and Irish in his mannerisms, and weighed down by sadness. Yeah, he was a deflated sort of man, in whom alcohol lingered, prone to being overweight and unhappy. I guess you could say he was a bit like a Dutchman, being both very melancholic and friendly in his demeanor.”

“‘The marvelous invention,’ he says, ‘entitled the phonograph, has never invaded these shores. The people have never heard it. They would not believe it if they should. Simple-hearted children of nature, progress has never condemned them to accept the work of a can-opener as an overture, and rag-time might incite them to a bloody revolution. But you can try the experiment. The best chance you have is that the populace may not wake up when you play. There’s two ways,’ says the consul, ‘they may take it. They may become inebriated with attention, like an Atlanta colonel listening to “Marching Through Georgia,” or they will get excited and transpose the key of the music with an axe and yourselves into a dungeon. In the latter case,’ says the consul, ‘I’ll do my duty by cabling to the State Department, and I’ll wrap the Stars and Stripes around you when you come to be shot, and threaten them with the vengeance of the greatest gold export and financial reserve nation on earth. The flag is full of bullet holes now,’ says the consul, ‘made in that way. Twice before,’ says the consul, ‘I have cabled our government for a couple of gunboats to protect American citizens. The first time the Department sent me a pair of gum boots. The other time was when a man named Pease was going to be executed here. They referred that appeal to the Secretary of Agriculture. Let us now disturb the señor behind the bar for a subsequence of the red wine.’

“‘The amazing invention,’ he says, ‘called the phonograph, has never reached these shores. The people have never heard it. They wouldn’t believe it even if they did. Simple-hearted children of nature, progress has never forced them to accept the sound of a can-opener as an introduction, and rag-time might lead them to a violent uprising. But you can give it a try. Your best chance is that the crowd might not even stir while you play. There are two ways,’ says the consul, ‘they might react. They might get so captivated, like an Atlanta colonel listening to “Marching Through Georgia,” or they might get riled up and attack the music with an axe and you into a dungeon. In the latter case,’ says the consul, ‘I’ll do my duty by sending a cable to the State Department, and I’ll wrap the Stars and Stripes around you when they come to execute you, threatening them with the wrath of the biggest gold-exporting and financially strong nation on earth. The flag is already full of bullet holes,’ says the consul, ‘made that way. Twice before,’ says the consul, ‘I’ve cabled our government for a couple of gunboats to protect American citizens. The first time, the Department sent me a pair of gum boots. The other time was when a man named Pease was about to be executed here. They referred that request to the Secretary of Agriculture. Now, let’s disturb the señor behind the bar for some of the red wine.’”

“Thus soliloquized the consul of Solitas to me and Henry Horsecollar.

“Thus soliloquized the consul of Solitas to me and Henry Horsecollar.

“But, notwithstanding, we hired a room that afternoon in the Calle de los Angeles, the main street that runs along the shore, and put our trunks there. ’Twas a good-sized room, dark and cheerful, but small. ’Twas on a various street, diversified by houses and conservatory plants. The peasantry of the city passed to and fro on the fine pasturage between the sidewalks. ’Twas, for the world, like an opera chorus when the Royal Kafoozlum is about to enter.

“But despite that, we rented a room that afternoon on Calle de los Angeles, the main street along the shore, and stored our trunks there. It was a decent-sized room, dark and cozy, but small. It was on a lively street, filled with houses and potted plants. Local residents walked back and forth on the nice grass between the sidewalks. It was, in a way, like an opera chorus when the Royal Kafoozlum is about to take the stage.”

“We were rubbing the dust off the machine and getting fixed to start business the next day, when a big, fine-looking white man in white clothes stopped at the door and looked in. We extended the invitations, and he walked inside and sized us up. He was chewing a long cigar, and wrinkling his eyes, meditative, like a girl trying to decide which dress to wear to the party.

“We were wiping the dust off the machine and getting ready to start business the next day when a tall, good-looking white man in white clothes stopped at the door and looked inside. We invited him in, and he walked in and checked us out. He was chewing a long cigar, and squinting his eyes, thoughtful, like a girl trying to decide which dress to wear to a party.

“‘New York?’ he says to me finally.

“‘New York?’ he finally says to me.

“‘Originally, and from time to time,’ I says. ‘Hasn’t it rubbed off yet?’

“‘Originally, and occasionally,’ I say. ‘Hasn’t it worn off yet?’”

“‘It’s simple,’ says he, ‘when you know how. It’s the fit of the vest. They don’t cut vests right anywhere else. Coats, maybe, but not vests.’

“‘It’s easy,’ he says, ‘once you know how. It’s about how the vest fits. No one else makes vests like this. Coats, sure, but not vests.’”

“The white man looks at Henry Horsecollar and hesitates.

“The white man looks at Henry Horsecollar and hesitates.

“‘Injun,’ says Henry; ‘tame Injun.’

“‘Indian,’ says Henry; ‘tame Indian.’”

“‘Mellinger,’ says the man—‘Homer P. Mellinger. Boys, you’re confiscated. You’re babes in the wood without a chaperon or referee, and it’s my duty to start you going. I’ll knock out the props and launch you proper in the pellucid waters of this tropical mud puddle. You’ll have to be christened, and if you’ll come with me I’ll break a bottle of wine across your bows, according to Hoyle.’

“‘Mellinger,’ says the man—‘Homer P. Mellinger. Boys, you’re in trouble. You’re like kids in the woods without a guide or referee, and it’s my job to get you started. I’ll remove the support and send you off safely into this clear tropical mud puddle. You’ll need a proper introduction, and if you come with me, I’ll smash a bottle of wine against your front, just like they do in the playbook.’”

“Well, for two days Homer P. Mellinger did the honors. That man cut ice in Anchuria. He was It. He was the Royal Kafoozlum. If me and Henry was babes in the wood, he was a Robin Redbreast from the topmost bough. Him and me and Henry Horsecollar locked arms, and toted that phonograph around, and had wassail and diversions. Everywhere we found doors open we went inside and set the machine going, and Mellinger called upon the people to observe the artful music and his two lifelong friends, the Señors Americanos. The opera chorus was agitated with esteem, and followed us from house to house. There was a different kind of drink to be had with every tune. The natives had acquirements of a pleasant thing in the way of a drink that gums itself to the recollection. They chop off the end of a green cocoanut, and pour in on the juice of it French brandy and other adjuvants. We had them and other things.

“Well, for two days Homer P. Mellinger took the lead. That guy was a big deal in Anchuria. He was the one. He was the Royal Kafoozlum. If me and Henry were like kids lost in the woods, he was our Robin Redbreast up in the treetops. He, Henry Horsecollar, and I locked arms, carried that phonograph around, and enjoyed drinks and entertainment. Wherever we found an open door, we went inside, set the machine up, and Mellinger called on the crowd to appreciate the clever music and his two lifelong friends, the Señors Americanos. The opera chorus was excited with admiration and followed us from house to house. There was a different drink to enjoy with every tune. The locals had a delightful drink that stuck in your memory. They’d chop the top off a green coconut and pour in its juice along with French brandy and other mixers. We enjoyed those and more.”

“Mine and Henry’s money was counterfeit. Everything was on Homer P. Mellinger. That man could find rolls of bills concealed in places on his person where Hermann the Wizard couldn’t have conjured out a rabbit or an omelette. He could have founded universities, and made orchid collections, and then had enough left to purchase the colored vote of his country. Henry and me wondered what his graft was. One evening he told us.

“Henry and I had counterfeit money. Everything revolved around Homer P. Mellinger. That guy could find stacks of cash hidden in spots on his body where even Hermann the Wizard couldn’t pull out a rabbit or an omelet. He could have started universities, built orchid collections, and still had enough left over to buy the votes of his country. Henry and I speculated about what his scheme was. One evening, he filled us in.”

“‘Boys,’ said he, ‘I’ve deceived you. You think I’m a painted butterfly; but in fact I’m the hardest worked man in this country. Ten years ago I landed on its shores; and two years ago on the point of its jaw. Yes, I guess I can get the decision over this ginger cake commonwealth at the end of any round I choose. I’ll confide in you because you are my countrymen and guests, even if you have assaulted my adopted shores with the worst system of noises ever set to music.

“‘Guys,’ he said, ‘I’ve fooled you. You think I’m just a flashy show-off, but I’m actually the hardest-working person in this country. Ten years ago, I arrived here; and two years ago, I took on its biggest challenges. Yeah, I bet I can win the argument about this gingercake nation whenever I want. I’ll trust you because you’re my fellow countrymen and guests, even if you have bombarded my newfound home with the worst kind of noise ever set to music.

“‘My job is private secretary to the president of this republic; and my duties are running it. I’m not headlined in the bills, but I’m the mustard in the salad dressing just the same. There isn’t a law goes before Congress, there isn’t a concession granted, there isn’t an import duty levied but what H. P. Mellinger he cooks and seasons it. In the front office I fill the president’s inkstand and search visiting statesmen for dirks and dynamite; but in the back room I dictate the policy of the government. You’d never guess in the world how I got my pull. It’s the only graft of its kind on earth. I’ll put you wise. You remember the old top-liner in the copy book—“Honesty is the Best Policy”? That’s it. I’m working honesty for a graft. I’m the only honest man in the republic. The government knows it; the people know it; the boodlers know it; the foreign investors know it. I make the government keep its faith. If a man is promised a job he gets it. If outside capital buys a concession it gets the goods. I run a monopoly of square dealing here. There’s no competition. If Colonel Diogenes were to flash his lantern in this precinct he’d have my address inside of two minutes. There isn’t big money in it, but it’s a sure thing, and lets a man sleep of nights.’

“‘My job is private secretary to the president of this republic, and my duties are to manage it. I might not be in the spotlight, but I’m just as essential as mustard in salad dressing. Every law that goes to Congress, every concession granted, every import duty imposed—H. P. Mellinger is behind the scenes making it all happen. In the front office, I refill the president’s inkstand and check visiting dignitaries for weapons; but in the back room, I shape the government’s policies. You’d never guess how I gained my influence. It’s a unique kind of corruption. Let me enlighten you. Remember that old saying in the copybook, “Honesty is the Best Policy”? That’s my play. I’m leveraging honesty for a gain. I’m the only honest man in the republic. The government knows it; the people know it; the con artists know it; the foreign investors know it. I make sure the government keeps its promises. If someone is promised a job, they get it. If outside investors purchase a concession, they receive what they pay for. I’m in charge of fair dealings here. There’s no competition. If Colonel Diogenes were to shine his lantern in this area, he’d have my address in no time. There’s not a lot of money in it, but it’s a reliable situation, and it allows a man to sleep at night.’

“Thus Homer P. Mellinger made oration to me and Henry Horsecollar. And, later, he divested himself of this remark:

“Thus Homer P. Mellinger gave a speech to me and Henry Horsecollar. And, later, he made this remark:

“‘Boys, I’m to hold a soirée this evening with a gang of leading citizens, and I want your assistance. You bring the musical corn sheller and give the affair the outside appearance of a function. There’s important business on hand, but it mustn’t show. I can talk to you people. I’ve been pained for years on account of not having anybody to blow off and brag to. I get homesick sometimes, and I’d swap the entire perquisites of office for just one hour to have a stein and a caviare sandwich somewhere on Thirty-fourth Street, and stand and watch the street cars go by, and smell the peanut roaster at old Giuseppe’s fruit stand.’

“‘Guys, I’m having a soiree tonight with a group of important people, and I need your help. Bring the musical corn sheller to make it look like a real event. There’s some serious business to discuss, but it shouldn’t be obvious. I can talk to you all. I’ve felt lonely for years because I didn’t have anyone to vent to or brag about my achievements. I get nostalgic sometimes, and I’d trade all the perks of my position for just one hour to grab a drink and a caviar sandwich somewhere on Thirty-fourth Street, just standing there watching the streetcars go by and smelling the peanuts roasting at old Giuseppe’s fruit stand.’”

“‘Yes,’ said I, ‘there’s fine caviare at Billy Renfrew’s café, corner of Thirty-fourth and—’

“‘Yes,’ I said, ‘there’s great caviar at Billy Renfrew’s café, at the corner of Thirty-fourth and—’”

“‘God knows it,’ interrupts Mellinger, ‘and if you’d told me you knew Billy Renfrew I’d have invented tons of ways of making you happy. Billy was my side-kicker in New York. There is a man who never knew what crooked was. Here I am working Honesty for a graft, but that man loses money on it. Carrambos! I get sick at times of this country. Everything’s rotten. From the executive down to the coffee pickers, they’re plotting to down each other and skin their friends. If a mule driver takes off his hat to an official, that man figures it out that he’s a popular idol, and sets his pegs to stir up a revolution and upset the administration. It’s one of my little chores as private secretary to smell out these revolutions and affix the kibosh before they break out and scratch the paint off the government property. That’s why I’m down here now in this mildewed coast town. The governor of the district and his crew are plotting to uprise. I’ve got every one of their names, and they’re invited to listen to the phonograph to-night, compliments of H. P. M. That’s the way I’ll get them in a bunch, and things are on the programme to happen to them.’

“‘God knows it,’ interrupts Mellinger, ‘and if you’d told me you knew Billy Renfrew, I would have come up with a ton of ways to make you happy. Billy was my right-hand man in New York. That guy never knew what crooked was. Here I am trying to play it straight for a bribe, but that guy actually loses money on it. Damn it! Sometimes I get so sick of this country. Everything’s corrupt. From the executives down to the coffee pickers, they’re all plotting against each other and robbing their friends. If a mule driver takes off his hat to an official, that official thinks he’s some kind of popular hero and starts planning a revolution to take down the administration. It’s one of my jobs as private secretary to sniff out these revolutions and squash them before they erupt and mess up government property. That’s why I’m here now in this moldy coastal town. The governor of the district and his crew are planning to rise up. I’ve got all their names, and they’re invited to listen to the phonograph tonight, compliments of H. P. M. That’s how I’ll get them all together, and we have some things planned for them.’”

“We three were sitting at table in the cantina of the Purified Saints. Mellinger poured out wine, and was looking some worried; I was thinking.

“We three were sitting at a table in the Purified Saints’ cantina. Mellinger poured out some wine and looked a bit worried; I was deep in thought.”

“‘They’re a sharp crowd,’ he says, kind of fretful. ‘They’re capitalized by a foreign syndicate after rubber, and they’re loaded to the muzzle for bribing. I’m sick,’ goes on Mellinger, ‘of comic opera. I want to smell East River and wear suspenders again. At times I feel like throwing up my job, but I’m d——n fool enough to be sort of proud of it. “There’s Mellinger,” they say here. “Por Dios! you can’t touch him with a million.” I’d like to take that record back and show it to Billy Renfrew some day; and that tightens my grip whenever I see a fat thing that I could corral just by winking one eye—and losing my graft. By ——, they can’t monkey with me. They know it. What money I get I make honest and spend it. Some day I’ll make a pile and go back and eat caviare with Billy. To-night I’ll show you how to handle a bunch of corruptionists. I’ll show them what Mellinger, private secretary, means when you spell it with the cotton and tissue paper off.’

“‘They’re a sharp crowd,’ he says, a bit anxious. ‘They’re funded by a foreign group after rubber, and they’re fully equipped for bribing. I’m tired,’ continues Mellinger, ‘of this ridiculous drama. I want to smell the East River and wear suspenders again. Sometimes I feel like quitting my job, but I’m too foolish to not be kind of proud of it. “There’s Mellinger,” they say here. “Por Dios! you can’t touch him with a million.” I’d like to take that record back and show it to Billy Renfrew someday; and that tightens my grip whenever I see an easy target that I could hook just by giving a wink—and losing my cut. By ——, they can’t mess with me. They know it. The money I make, I earn honestly and spend. Someday I’ll make a fortune and go back and enjoy caviar with Billy. Tonight I’ll show you how to deal with a group of corrupt people. I’ll show them what Mellinger, private secretary, means when you take off the cotton and tissue paper.’”

“Mellinger appears shaky, and breaks his glass against the neck of the bottle.

“Mellinger looks unstable and smashes his glass against the neck of the bottle.

“I says to myself, ‘White man, if I’m not mistaken there’s been a bait laid out where the tail of your eye could see it.’

“I say to myself, ‘White man, if I’m right, there’s a trap set up where you can see it out of the corner of your eye.’”

“That night, according to arrangements, me and Henry took the phonograph to a room in a ’dobe house in a dirty side street, where the grass was knee high. ’Twas a long room, lit with smoky oil lamps. There was plenty of chairs, and a table at the back end. We set the phonograph on the table. Mellinger was there, walking up and down, disturbed in his predicaments. He chewed cigars and spat ’em out, and he bit the thumb nail of his left hand.

“That night, as planned, Henry and I took the phonograph to a room in a adobe house on a messy side street, where the grass was knee-high. It was a long room, lit by smoky oil lamps. There were plenty of chairs and a table at the far end. We set the phonograph on the table. Mellinger was there, pacing back and forth, troubled by his problems. He chewed on cigars and spat them out, and he bit the thumbnail of his left hand."

“By and by the invitations to the musicale came sliding in by pairs and threes and spade flushes. Their colour was of a diversity, running from a three-days’ smoked meerschaum to a patent-leather polish. They were as polite as wax, being devastated with enjoyments to give Señor Mellinger the good evenings. I understood their Spanish talk—I ran a pumping engine two years in a Mexican silver mine, and had it pat—but I never let on.

“Eventually, the invitations to the musical event started arriving in pairs and threes, like a winning hand in cards. They came in all sorts of colors, from a smoked meerschaum to a shiny patent leather polish. They were as polite as could be, full of excitement to wish Señor Mellinger a good evening. I understood their Spanish—having operated a pumping engine for two years in a Mexican silver mine helped me with that—but I never let on.”

“Maybe fifty of ’em had come, and was seated, when in slid the king bee, the governor of the district. Mellinger met him at the door, and escorted him to the grand stand. When I saw that Latin man I knew that Mellinger, private secretary, had all the dances on his card taken. That was a big, squashy man, the colour of a rubber overshoe, and he had an eye like a head waiter’s.

“Maybe fifty of them had arrived and were seated when the main guy, the governor of the district, walked in. Mellinger met him at the door and showed him to the grandstand. When I saw that guy, I knew that Mellinger, the private secretary, had all the dances booked. He was a big, heavyset man, the color of a rubber boot, and he had an eye like a head waiter.”

“Mellinger explained, fluent, in the Castilian idioms, that his soul was disconcerted with joy at introducing to his respected friends America’s greatest invention, the wonder of the age. Henry got the cue and run on an elegant brass-band record and the festivities became initiated. The governor man had a bit of English under his hat, and when the music was choked off he says:

“Mellinger explained, smoothly in Spanish, that he was overjoyed to introduce America’s greatest invention, the marvel of the times, to his esteemed friends. Henry took the hint and put on a classy brass band record, and the celebrations kicked off. The governor had a bit of English up his sleeve, and when the music stopped, he said:

“‘Ver-r-ree fine. Gr-r-r-r-racias, the American gentleemen, the so esplendeed moosic as to playee.’

“‘Very fine. Thank you, the American gentlemen, for the splendid music you played.’”

“The table was a long one, and Henry and me sat at the end of it next the wall. The governor sat at the other end. Homer P. Mellinger stood at the side of it. I was just wondering how Mellinger was going to handle his crowd, when the home talent suddenly opened the services.

“The table was long, and Henry and I sat at the end next to the wall. The governor sat at the other end. Homer P. Mellinger stood beside it. I was just wondering how Mellinger was going to manage his crowd when the local talent suddenly started the services.”

“That governor man was suitable for uprisings and policies. I judge he was a ready kind of man, who took his own time. Yes, he was full of attention and immediateness. He leaned his hands on the table and imposed his face toward the secretary man.

“That governor was suitable for uprisings and policies. I think he was a capable guy who took his time. Yes, he was very attentive and direct. He leaned his hands on the table and focused his gaze on the secretary.”

“‘Do the American señors understand Spanish?’ he asks in his native accents.

“‘Do the American gentlemen understand Spanish?’ he asks in his native accent.”

“‘They do not,’ says Mellinger.

“They don’t,” says Mellinger.

“‘Then listen,’ goes on the Latin man, prompt. ‘The musics are of sufficient prettiness, but not of necessity. Let us speak of business. I well know why we are here, since I observe my compatriots. You had a whisper yesterday, Señor Mellinger, of our proposals. To-night we will speak out. We know that you stand in the president’s favour, and we know your influence. The government will be changed. We know the worth of your services. We esteem your friendship and aid so much that’—Mellinger raises his hand, but the governor man bottles him up. ‘Do not speak until I have done.’

“‘Then listen,’ the Latin man continues, confidently. ‘The music is quite nice, but that's not the main point. Let's talk business. I know exactly why we're here, as I can see my fellow countrymen. You heard a rumor yesterday, Señor Mellinger, about our proposals. Tonight, we’ll speak frankly. We know you have the president’s favor, and we recognize your influence. The government is going to change. We understand the value of your services. We really appreciate your friendship and support so much that’—Mellinger raises his hand, but the governor silences him. ‘Don’t speak until I’m finished.’”

“The governor man then draws a package wrapped in paper from his pocket, and lays it on the table by Mellinger’s hand.

“The governor man then takes a package wrapped in paper out of his pocket and places it on the table next to Mellinger’s hand.”

“‘In that you will find fifty thousand dollars in money of your country. You can do nothing against us, but you can be worth that for us. Go back to the capital and obey our instructions. Take that money now. We trust you. You will find with it a paper giving in detail the work you will be expected to do for us. Do not have the unwiseness to refuse.’

“‘You will find fifty thousand dollars in your country's currency there. You can't do anything to oppose us, but you can be valuable to us. Go back to the capital and follow our instructions. Take the money now. We trust you. Along with it, you’ll find a document outlining the work we expect you to do for us. Don't be foolish enough to refuse.’”

“The governor man paused, with his eyes fixed on Mellinger, full of expressions and observances. I looked at Mellinger, and was glad Billy Renfrew couldn’t see him then. The sweat was popping out on his forehead, and he stood dumb, tapping the little package with the ends of his fingers. The colorado-maduro gang was after his graft. He had only to change his politics, and stuff five fingers in his inside pocket.

“The governor paused, staring at Mellinger, full of expressions and observations. I looked at Mellinger and was glad Billy Renfrew couldn’t see him then. Sweat was beading on his forehead, and he stood there in silence, tapping the small package with the tips of his fingers. The Colorado-Maduro gang was after his corruption. He just had to shift his politics and stuff five fingers into his inside pocket.”

“Henry whispers to me and wants the pause in the programme interpreted. I whisper back: ‘H. P. is up against a bribe, senator’s size, and the coons have got him going.’ I saw Mellinger’s hand moving closer to the package. ‘He’s weakening,’ I whispered to Henry. ‘We’ll remind him,’ says Henry, ‘of the peanut-roaster on Thirty-fourth Street, New York.’

“Henry whispers to me and wants me to interpret the pause in the program. I whisper back, ‘H. P. is facing a huge bribe, and the guys are really putting the pressure on him.’ I noticed Mellinger’s hand moving closer to the package. ‘He’s starting to crack,’ I whispered to Henry. ‘We’ll remind him,’ says Henry, ‘about the peanut-roaster on Thirty-fourth Street, New York.’”

“Henry stooped down and got a record from the basketful we’d brought, slid it in the phonograph, and started her off. It was a cornet solo, very neat and beautiful, and the name of it was ‘Home, Sweet Home.’ Not one of them fifty odd men in the room moved while it was playing, and the governor man kept his eyes steady on Mellinger. I saw Mellinger’s head go up little by little, and his hand came creeping away from the package. Not until the last note sounded did anybody stir. And then Homer P. Mellinger takes up the bundle of boodle and slams it in the governor man’s face.

“Henry bent down and grabbed a record from the pile we’d brought, slid it into the phonograph, and started it up. It was a cornet solo, very neat and beautiful, called ‘Home, Sweet Home.’ None of the fifty or so guys in the room moved while it played, and the governor kept his eyes fixed on Mellinger. I saw Mellinger’s head slowly rise, and his hand gradually pulled away from the package. Not until the last note played did anyone make a move. Then Homer P. Mellinger picked up the bundle of cash and threw it in the governor’s face.”

“‘That’s my answer,’ says Mellinger, private secretary, ‘and there’ll be another in the morning. I have proofs of conspiracy against every man of you. The show is over, gentlemen.’

“‘That’s my answer,’ says Mellinger, private secretary, ‘and there’ll be another in the morning. I have proof of conspiracy against every one of you. The show is over, gentlemen.’”

“‘There’s one more act,’ puts in the governor man. ‘You are a servant, I believe, employed by the president to copy letters and answer raps at the door. I am governor here. Señores, I call upon you in the name of the cause to seize this man.’

“‘There’s one more act,’ says the governor. ‘You’re a servant, I believe, hired by the president to copy letters and answer knocks at the door. I am the governor here. Señores, I urge you in the name of the cause to take this man.’”

“That brindled gang of conspirators shoved back their chairs and advanced in force. I could see where Mellinger had made a mistake in massing his enemy so as to make a grand-stand play. I think he made another one, too; but we can pass that, Mellinger’s idea of a graft and mine being different, according to estimations and points of view.

“That mixed group of conspirators pushed back their chairs and came forward as a unit. I realized where Mellinger had gone wrong by gathering his enemies for a big show. I think he made another mistake, too; but we can skip that, since Mellinger’s view of a scheme and mine differ based on our assessments and perspectives.”

“There was only one window and door in that room, and they were in the front end. Here was fifty odd Latin men coming in a bunch to obstruct the legislation of Mellinger. You may say there were three of us, for me and Henry, simultaneous, declared New York City and the Cherokee Nation in sympathy with the weaker party.

“There was only one window and one door in that room, and they were at the front. Here were about fifty Latin men coming in a group to block Mellinger's legislation. You could say there were three of us, because Henry and I both declared that New York City and the Cherokee Nation supported the weaker party at the same time.”

“Then it was that Henry Horsecollar rose to a point of disorder and intervened, showing, admirable, the advantages of education as applied to the American Indian’s natural intellect and native refinement. He stood up and smoothed back his hair on each side with his hands as you have seen little girls do when they play.

“Then Henry Horsecollar stood up, causing a bit of a stir, and intervened, showcasing the benefits of education as it relates to the American Indian’s natural intelligence and inherent grace. He rose and swept back his hair on either side with his hands, just like you’ve seen little girls do when they play.”

“‘Get behind me, both of you,’ says Henry.

“‘Get behind me, you two,’ says Henry.

“‘What’s it to be, chief?’ I asked.

"’What’s it gonna be, boss?’ I asked."

“‘I’m going to buck centre,’ says Henry, in his football idioms. ‘There isn’t a tackle in the lot of them. Follow me close, and rush the game.’

“‘I’m going to charge center,’ says Henry, in his football lingo. ‘There isn’t a tackle among them. Stick close to me, and let’s push the game forward.’”

“Then that cultured Red Man exhaled an arrangement of sounds with his mouth that made the Latin aggregation pause, with thoughtfulness and hesitations. The matter of his proclamation seemed to be a co-operation of the Carlisle war-whoop with the Cherokee college yell. He went at the chocolate team like a bean out of a little boy’s nigger shooter. His right elbow laid out the governor man on the gridiron, and he made a lane the length of the crowd so wide that a woman could have carried a step-ladder through it without striking against anything. All Mellinger and me had to do was to follow.

“Then that cultured Native American let out a sound from his mouth that made the Latin group stop, deep in thought and hesitation. His announcement seemed like a mix of the Carlisle war-whoop and the Cherokee college cheer. He charged at the chocolate team like a bullet from a kid’s slingshot. His right elbow knocked the man in charge down on the field, creating a path through the crowd so wide that a woman could have walked through with a step-ladder without hitting anything. All Mellinger and I had to do was follow.”

“It took us just three minutes to get out of that street around to military headquarters, where Mellinger had things his own way. A colonel and a battalion of bare-toed infantry turned out and went back to the scene of the musicale with us, but the conspirator gang was gone. But we recaptured the phonograph with honours of war, and marched back to the cuartel with it playing ‘All Coons Look Alike to Me.’

“It took us just three minutes to get out of that street and around to military headquarters, where Mellinger did things his way. A colonel and a battalion of bare-footed infantry showed up and went back to the scene of the musicale with us, but the conspirators were gone. However, we managed to recapture the phonograph with all the glory of battle, and marched back to the cuartel with it playing ‘All Coons Look Alike to Me.’”

“The next day Mellinger takes me and Henry to one side, and begins to shed tens and twenties.

“The next day, Mellinger pulls me and Henry aside and starts handing out tens and twenties."

“‘I want to buy that phonograph,’ says he. ‘I liked that last tune it played at the soirée.’

“‘I want to buy that record player,’ he says. ‘I really liked that last song it played at the soiree.’”

“‘This is more money than the machine is worth,’ says I.

“This is more money than the machine is worth,” I say.

“‘’Tis government expense money,’ says Mellinger. ‘The government pays for it, and it’s getting the tune-grinder cheap.’

“It's government expense money,” says Mellinger. “The government covers it, and it’s getting the tune-grinder at a good price.”

“Me and Henry knew that pretty well. We knew that it had saved Homer P. Mellinger’s graft when he was on the point of losing it; but we never let him know we knew it.

“Henry and I knew that pretty well. We knew that it had saved Homer P. Mellinger’s graft when he was about to lose it; but we never let him know we knew it.”

“‘Now you boys better slide off further down the coast for a while,’ says Mellinger, ‘till I get the screws put on these fellows here. If you don’t they’ll give you trouble. And if you ever happen to see Billy Renfrew again before I do, tell him I’m coming back to New York as soon as I can make a stake—honest.’

“‘You guys should head further down the coast for a bit,’ Mellinger says, ‘until I can deal with these guys here. If you stay, they'll cause you problems. And if you run into Billy Renfrew before I do, let him know I’m coming back to New York as soon as I can get some money—no joke.’”

“Me and Henry laid low until the day the steamer came back. When we saw the captain’s boat on the beach we went down and stood in the edge of the water. The captain grinned when he saw us.

“Henry and I kept a low profile until the day the steamer returned. When we spotted the captain’s boat on the beach, we went down and stood at the water's edge. The captain smiled when he saw us.

“‘I told you you’d be waiting,’ he says. ‘Where’s the Hamburger machine?’

“‘I told you you’d be waiting,’ he says. ‘Where’s the hamburger machine?’”

“‘It stays behind,’ I says, ‘to play “Home, Sweet Home.”’

“‘It stays behind,’ I say, ‘to play “Home, Sweet Home.”’”

“‘I told you so,’ says the captain again. ‘Climb in the boat.’

“‘I told you so,’ the captain says again. ‘Get in the boat.’”

“And that,” said Keogh, “is the way me and Henry Horsecollar introduced the phonograph into this country. Henry went back to the States, but I’ve been rummaging around in the tropics ever since. They say Mellinger never travelled a mile after that without his phonograph. I guess it kept him reminded about his graft whenever he saw the siren voice of the boodler tip him the wink with a bribe in its hand.”

“And that,” said Keogh, “is how Henry Horsecollar and I brought the phonograph to this country. Henry went back to the States, but I’ve been exploring the tropics ever since. They say Mellinger never traveled a mile after that without his phonograph. I guess it reminded him of his corrupt dealings every time he saw the seductive voice of the con artist giving him a nod with a bribe in hand.”

“I suppose he’s taking it home with him as a souvenir,” remarked the consul.

“I guess he’s taking it home as a keepsake,” said the consul.

“Not as a souvenir,” said Keogh. “He’ll need two of ’em in New York, running day and night.”

“Not as a souvenir,” Keogh said. “He’ll need two of them in New York, working around the clock.”

VII
MONEY MAZE

The new administration of Anchuria entered upon its duties and privileges with enthusiasm. Its first act was to send an agent to Coralio with imperative orders to recover, if possible, the sum of money ravished from the treasury by the ill-fated Miraflores.

The new administration of Anchuria took on its duties and responsibilities with excitement. Its first action was to send an agent to Coralio with urgent orders to recover, if possible, the money stolen from the treasury by the unfortunate Miraflores.

Colonel Emilio Falcon, the private secretary of Losada, the new president, was despatched from the capital upon this important mission.

Colonel Emilio Falcon, the private secretary of Losada, the new president, was sent from the capital on this important mission.

The position of private secretary to a tropical president is a responsible one. He must be a diplomat, a spy, a ruler of men, a body-guard to his chief, and a smeller-out of plots and nascent revolutions. Often he is the power behind the throne, the dictator of policy; and a president chooses him with a dozen times the care with which he selects a matrimonial mate.

The role of a private secretary to a tropical president is a serious one. He has to be a diplomat, a spy, a leader of people, a protector of his boss, and someone who can sniff out plots and budding revolutions. Often, he is the one pulling the strings, the dictator of policy; a president picks him with far more caution than he uses to choose a spouse.

Colonel Falcon, a handsome and urbane gentleman of Castilian courtesy and débonnaire manners, came to Coralio with the task before him of striking upon the cold trail of the lost money. There he conferred with the military authorities, who had received instructions to co-operate with him in the search.

Colonel Falcon, a handsome and sophisticated man with Castilian charm and suave manners, arrived in Coralio with the goal of tracking down the missing money. There, he met with the military officials, who had been instructed to assist him in the search.

Colonel Falcon established his headquarters in one of the rooms of the Casa Morena. Here for a week he held informal sittings—much as if he were a kind of unified grand jury—and summoned before him all those whose testimony might illumine the financial tragedy that had accompanied the less momentous one of the late president’s death.

Colonel Falcon set up his headquarters in one of the rooms of the Casa Morena. For a week, he held informal sessions—similar to a kind of unified grand jury—and called in everyone whose testimony could shed light on the financial disaster that had come with the less significant event of the late president’s death.

Two or three who were thus examined, among whom was the barber Estebán, declared that they had identified the body of the president before its burial.

Two or three people who were examined, including the barber Estebán, stated that they recognized the president's body before it was buried.

“Of a truth,” testified Estebán before the mighty secretary, “it was he, the president. Consider!—how could I shave a man and not see his face? He sent for me to shave him in a small house. He had a beard very black and thick. Had I ever seen the president before? Why not? I saw him once ride forth in a carriage from the vapor in Solitas. When I shaved him he gave me a gold piece, and said there was to be no talk. But I am a Liberal—I am devoted to my country—and I spake of these things to Señor Goodwin.”

“Honestly,” Estebán testified before the powerful secretary, “it was him, the president. Think about it! How could I shave someone and not see his face? He asked me to shave him in a small house. He had a thick, black beard. Had I ever seen the president before? Of course! I once saw him ride out in a carriage from the vapor in Solitas. When I shaved him, he gave me a gold coin and said there should be no talking about it. But I’m a Liberal—I care about my country—and I mentioned these things to Señor Goodwin.”

“It is known,” said Colonel Falcon, smoothly, “that the late President took with him an American leather valise, containing a large amount of money. Did you see that?”

“It’s known,” said Colonel Falcon smoothly, “that the late President took an American leather suitcase with him, which had a lot of money inside. Did you see it?”

De veras—no,” Estebán answered. “The light in the little house was but a small lamp by which I could scarcely see to shave the President. Such a thing there may have been, but I did not see it. No. Also in the room was a young lady—a señorita of much beauty—that I could see even in so small a light. But the money, señor, or the thing in which it was carried—that I did not see.”

No way,” Estebán replied. “The light in the little house was just a small lamp that barely allowed me to shave the President. There might have been something like that, but I didn’t see it. No. Also in the room was a young lady—a beautiful woman—who I could see even in that dim light. But the money, sir, or whatever it was carried in—I didn’t see that.”

The comandante and other officers gave testimony that they had been awakened and alarmed by the noise of a pistol-shot in the Hotel de los Estranjeros. Hurrying thither to protect the peace and dignity of the republic, they found a man lying dead, with a pistol clutched in his hand. Beside him was a young woman, weeping sorely. Señor Goodwin was also in the room when they entered it. But of the valise of money they saw nothing.

The comandante and other officers testified that they had been awakened and startled by the sound of a gunshot in the Hotel de los Estranjeros. Rushing there to uphold the peace and dignity of the republic, they discovered a man lying dead, with a gun in his hand. Next to him was a young woman, crying deeply. Señor Goodwin was also in the room when they arrived. However, there was no sign of the bag of money.

Madame Timotea Ortiz, the proprietress of the hotel in which the game of Fox-in-the-Morning had been played out, told of the coming of the two guests to her house.

Madame Timotea Ortiz, the owner of the hotel where the game of Fox-in-the-Morning took place, recounted the arrival of the two guests at her establishment.

“To my house they came,” said she—“one señor, not quite old, and one señorita of sufficient handsomeness. They desired not to eat or to drink—not even of my aguardiente, which is the best. To their rooms they ascended—Numero Nueve and Numero Diez. Later came Señor Goodwin, who ascended to speak with them. Then I heard a great noise like that of a canon, and they said that the pobre Presidente had shot himself. Está bueno. I saw nothing of money or of the thing you call veliz that you say he carried it in.”

“To my house they came,” she said, “one man, not quite old, and one young woman who was quite attractive. They didn’t want to eat or drink—not even my liquor, which is the best. They went up to their rooms—Room Nine and Room Ten. Later, Señor Goodwin came and went upstairs to talk to them. Then I heard a loud noise like a cannon, and they said that the poor President had shot himself. That’s fine. I didn’t see any money or that thing you call a bag that you say he carried it in.”

Colonel Falcon soon came to the reasonable conclusion that if anyone in Coralio could furnish a clue to the vanished money, Frank Goodwin must be the man. But the wise secretary pursued a different course in seeking information from the American. Goodwin was a powerful friend to the new administration, and one who was not to be carelessly dealt with in respect to either his honesty or his courage. Even the private secretary of His Excellency hesitated to have this rubber prince and mahogany baron haled before him as a common citizen of Anchuria. So he sent Goodwin a flowery epistle, each word-petal dripping with honey, requesting the favour of an interview. Goodwin replied with an invitation to dinner at his own house.

Colonel Falcon quickly realized that if anyone in Coralio could provide a clue about the missing money, it had to be Frank Goodwin. However, the clever secretary took a different approach in his quest for information from the American. Goodwin was a significant ally to the new administration, and he was not someone to underestimate when it came to his integrity or bravery. Even the private secretary of His Excellency thought twice about having this rubber magnate and mahogany tycoon summoned before him like an ordinary citizen of Anchuria. So, he sent Goodwin a flowery letter, each word dripping with charm, asking for the favor of a meeting. Goodwin responded with an invitation to dinner at his home.

Before the hour named the American walked over to the Casa Morena, and greeted his guest frankly and friendly. Then the two strolled, in the cool of the afternoon, to Goodwin’s home in the environs.

Before the hour arrived, the American walked over to Casa Morena and greeted his guest openly and amicably. Then the two strolled, in the cool of the afternoon, to Goodwin’s home nearby.

The American left Colonel Falcon in a big, cool, shadowed room with a floor of inlaid and polished woods that any millionaire in the States would have envied, excusing himself for a few minutes. He crossed a patio, shaded with deftly arranged awnings and plants, and entered a long room looking upon the sea in the opposite wing of the house. The broad jalousies were opened wide, and the ocean breeze flowed in through the room, an invisible current of coolness and health. Goodwin’s wife sat near one of the windows, making a water-color sketch of the afternoon seascape.

The American left Colonel Falcon in a large, cool, shaded room with a floor made of inlaid and polished wood that any millionaire in the States would have envied, excusing himself for a few minutes. He crossed a patio, shaded with well-arranged awnings and plants, and entered a long room overlooking the sea in the opposite wing of the house. The wide shutters were fully open, and the ocean breeze flowed into the room, an invisible current of coolness and freshness. Goodwin’s wife sat near one of the windows, making a watercolor sketch of the afternoon seascape.

Here was a woman who looked to be happy. And more—she looked to be content. Had a poet been inspired to pen just similes concerning her favour, he would have likened her full, clear eyes, with their white-encircled, gray irises, to moonflowers. With none of the goddesses whose traditional charms have become coldly classic would the discerning rhymester have compared her. She was purely Paradisaic, not Olympian. If you can imagine Eve, after the eviction, beguiling the flaming warriors and serenely re-entering the Garden, you will have her. Just so human, and still so harmonious with Eden seemed Mrs. Goodwin.

Here was a woman who seemed genuinely happy. And more than that—she seemed content. If a poet had been inspired to write just comparisons about her beauty, he would have compared her full, clear eyes, with their white-ringed gray irises, to moonflowers. He wouldn’t have compared her to any of the goddesses whose traditional allure has become distant and classic. She was purely paradisiacal, not Olympian. If you can picture Eve, after her banishment, charming the flaming warriors and calmly re-entering the Garden, you will have her. Mrs. Goodwin seemed just as human, yet still perfectly in harmony with Eden.

When her husband entered she looked up, and her lips curved and parted; her eyelids fluttered twice or thrice—a movement remindful (Poesy forgive us!) of the tail-wagging of a faithful dog—and a little ripple went through her like the commotion set up in a weeping willow by a puff of wind. Thus she ever acknowledged his coming, were it twenty times a day. If they who sometimes sat over their wine in Coralio, reshaping old, diverting stories of the madcap career of Isabel Guilbert, could have seen the wife of Frank Goodwin that afternoon in the estimable aura of her happy wifehood, they might have disbelieved, or have agreed to forget, those graphic annals of the life of the one for whom their president gave up his country and his honour.

When her husband walked in, she looked up, her lips curling into a smile; her eyelids fluttered a couple of times—a movement reminiscent (forgive us, Poetry!) of a dog wagging its tail—and a slight shiver went through her like the rustling of a weeping willow in a breeze. This was how she always welcomed him, no matter if it happened twenty times a day. If those who sometimes sat over drinks in Coralio, re-telling the entertaining stories of Isabel Guilbert's wild antics, could have seen Frank Goodwin's wife that afternoon, radiating the joy of her marriage, they might have found it hard to believe, or chosen to ignore, the vivid accounts of the life of the woman for whom their president sacrificed his country and his honor.

“I have brought a guest to dinner,” said Goodwin. “One Colonel Falcon, from San Mateo. He is come on government business. I do not think you will care to see him, so I prescribe for you one of those convenient and indisputable feminine headaches.”

“I've brought a guest for dinner,” said Goodwin. “Colonel Falcon from San Mateo. He’s here on government business. I don’t think you’ll want to see him, so I recommend you take one of those convenient and undeniable feminine headaches.”

“He has come to inquire about the lost money, has he not?” asked Mrs. Goodwin, going on with her sketch.

“He's come to ask about the lost money, right?” Mrs. Goodwin said, continuing with her sketch.

“A good guess!” acknowledged Goodwin. “He has been holding an inquisition among the natives for three days. I am next on his list of witnesses, but as he feels shy about dragging one of Uncle Sam’s subjects before him, he consents to give it the outward appearance of a social function. He will apply the torture over my own wine and provender.”

“A good guess!” Goodwin admitted. “He’s been questioning the locals for three days. I’m next on his list of witnesses, but since he’s hesitant about bringing one of Uncle Sam’s people before him, he agrees to make it look like a social event. He’ll put me through the wringer over my own food and drinks.”

“Has he found anyone who saw the valise of money?”

“Has he found anyone who saw the bag of money?”

“Not a soul. Even Madama Ortiz, whose eyes are so sharp for the sight of a revenue official, does not remember that there was any baggage.”

“Not a soul. Even Madama Ortiz, whose eyes are so keen for spotting a revenue officer, doesn’t recall there being any luggage.”

Mrs. Goodwin laid down her brush and sighed.

Mrs. Goodwin set her brush down and sighed.

“I am so sorry, Frank,” she said, “that they are giving you so much trouble about the money. But we can’t let them know about it, can we?”

“I’m really sorry, Frank,” she said, “that they’re causing you so much trouble with the money. But we can’t let them know about it, right?”

“Not without doing our intelligence a great injustice,” said Goodwin, with a smile and a shrug that he had picked up from the natives. “Americano, though I am, they would have me in the calaboza in half an hour if they knew we had appropriated that valise. No; we must appear as ignorant about the money as the other ignoramuses in Coralio.”

“Not without doing our intelligence a huge disservice,” said Goodwin, with a smile and a shrug he learned from the locals. “Americano as I am, they would throw me in the calaboza in half an hour if they found out we took that suitcase. No; we need to act as clueless about the money as the other idiots in Coralio.”

“Do you think that this man they have sent suspects you?” she asked, with a little pucker of her brows.

“Do you think the guy they sent suspects you?” she asked, frowning slightly.

“He’d better not,” said the American, carelessly. “It’s lucky that no one caught a sight of the valise except myself. As I was in the rooms when the shot was fired, it is not surprising that they should want to investigate my part in the affair rather closely. But there’s no cause for alarm. This colonel is down on the list of events for a good dinner, with a dessert of American ‘bluff’ that will end the matter, I think.”

“He better not,” said the American, casually. “It's lucky that no one saw the suitcase except for me. Since I was in the rooms when the shot was fired, it makes sense that they'd want to look into my involvement in the situation a bit more closely. But there’s no need to worry. This colonel is on the schedule for a nice dinner, with a side of American ‘bluff’ that should wrap things up, I think.”

Mrs. Goodwin rose and walked to the window. Goodwin followed and stood by her side. She leaned to him, and rested in the protection of his strength, as she had always rested since that dark night on which he had first made himself her tower of refuge. Thus they stood for a little while.

Mrs. Goodwin got up and went to the window. Goodwin followed and stood next to her. She leaned into him, finding comfort in his strength, just as she always had since that dark night when he first became her safe haven. They stood like that for a little while.

Straight through the lavish growth of tropical branch and leaf and vine that confronted them had been cunningly trimmed a vista, that ended at the cleared environs of Coralio, on the banks of the mangrove swamp. At the other end of the aerial tunnel they could see the grave and wooden headpiece that bore the name of the unhappy President Miraflores. From this window when the rains forbade the open, and from the green and shady slopes of Goodwin’s fruitful lands when the skies were smiling, his wife was wont to look upon that grave with a gentle sadness that was now scarcely a mar to her happiness.

Straight through the lush growth of tropical branches, leaves, and vines that blocked their way, a path had been cleverly cut, ending at the cleared area of Coralio, alongside the mangrove swamp. At the far end of this leafy tunnel, they could see the somber wooden headstone that bore the name of the tragic President Miraflores. From this vantage point, when the rains made it impossible to go outside, and from the green, shady slopes of Goodwin’s fruitful land when the weather was nice, his wife would often gaze at that grave with a gentle sadness that now barely affected her happiness.

“I loved him so, Frank!” she said, “even after that terrible flight and its awful ending. And you have been so good to me, and have made me so happy. It has all grown into such a strange puzzle. If they were to find out that we got the money do you think they would force you to make the amount good to the government?”

“I loved him so much, Frank!” she said, “even after that horrible flight and its terrible ending. And you’ve been so good to me and have made me so happy. It’s all become such a strange puzzle. If they found out that we got the money, do you think they would make you pay it back to the government?”

“They would undoubtedly try,” answered Goodwin. “You are right about its being a puzzle. And it must remain a puzzle to Falcon and all his countrymen until it solves itself. You and I, who know more than anyone else, only know half of the solution. We must not let even a hint about this money get abroad. Let them come to the theory that the president concealed it in the mountains during his journey, or that he found means to ship it out of the country before he reached Coralio. I don’t think that Falcon suspects me. He is making a close investigation, according to his orders, but he will find out nothing.”

“They would definitely try,” Goodwin replied. “You’re right, it’s a mystery. And it has to stay a mystery for Falcon and all his countrymen until it figures itself out. You and I, who know more than anyone else, only understand part of the solution. We must not let any word about this money leak out. Let them come up with the theory that the president hid it in the mountains during his trip, or that he somehow managed to ship it out of the country before he got to Coralio. I don’t think Falcon suspects me. He’s conducting a thorough investigation, as he was instructed, but he won’t uncover anything.”

Thus they spake together. Had anyone overheard or overseen them as they discussed the lost funds of Anchuria there would have been a second puzzle presented. For upon the faces and in the bearing of each of them was visible (if countenances are to be believed) Saxon honesty and pride and honourable thoughts. In Goodwin’s steady eye and firm lineaments, moulded into material shape by the inward spirit of kindness and generosity and courage, there was nothing reconcilable with his words.

Thus they spoke together. If anyone had overheard or watched them as they discussed the lost funds of Anchuria, there would have been a second mystery presented. For on their faces and in their demeanor was visible (if expressions are to be trusted) Saxon honesty, pride, and honorable thoughts. In Goodwin’s steady gaze and strong features, shaped by the inner spirit of kindness, generosity, and courage, there was nothing that matched his words.

As for his wife, physiognomy championed her even in the face of their accusive talk. Nobility was in her guise; purity was in her glance. The devotion that she manifested had not even the appearance of that feeling that now and then inspires a woman to share the guilt of her partner out of the pathetic greatness of her love. No, there was a discrepancy here between what the eye would have seen and the ear have heard.

As for his wife, her appearance spoke in her favor even amidst their accusatory discussions. There was nobility in her looks; purity in her gaze. The loyalty she showed didn’t even resemble the feeling that sometimes drives a woman to take on the blame of her partner out of a misguided sense of love. No, there was a contrast between what one would see and what one would hear.

Dinner was served to Goodwin and his guest in the patio, under cool foliage and flowers. The American begged the illustrious secretary to excuse the absence of Mrs. Goodwin, who was suffering, he said, from a headache brought on by a slight calentura.

Dinner was served to Goodwin and his guest in the patio, under cool foliage and flowers. The American asked the distinguished secretary to forgive Mrs. Goodwin's absence, explaining that she was suffering from a headache caused by a mild calentura.

After the meal they lingered, according to the custom, over their coffee and cigars. Colonel Falcon, with true Castilian delicacy, waited for his host to open the question that they had met to discuss. He had not long to wait. As soon as the cigars were lighted, the American cleared the way by inquiring whether the secretary’s investigations in the town had furnished him with any clue to the lost funds.

After the meal, they stuck around, as was customary, enjoying their coffee and cigars. Colonel Falcon, with true Castilian grace, waited for his host to bring up the topic they had gathered to discuss. He didn’t have to wait long. Once the cigars were lit, the American got straight to it by asking whether the secretary's investigations in town had provided any leads on the missing funds.

“I have found no one yet,” admitted Colonel Falcon, “who even had sight of the valise or the money. Yet I have persisted. It has been proven in the capital that President Miraflores set out from San Mateo with one hundred thousand dollars belonging to the government, accompanied by Señorita Isabel Guilbert, the opera singer. The Government, officially and personally, is loath to believe,” concluded Colonel Falcon, with a smile, “that our late President’s tastes would have permitted him to abandon on the route, as excess baggage, either of the desirable articles with which his flight was burdened.”

“I haven’t found anyone yet,” admitted Colonel Falcon, “who has even seen the briefcase or the money. But I keep trying. It’s been verified in the capital that President Miraflores left San Mateo with one hundred thousand dollars belonging to the government, along with Señorita Isabel Guilbert, the opera singer. The Government, both officially and personally, is reluctant to believe,” concluded Colonel Falcon with a smile, “that our late President’s tastes would have allowed him to leave behind on the way, as extra baggage, any of the valuable items he was carrying.”

“I suppose you would like to hear what I have to say about the affair,” said Goodwin, coming directly to the point. “It will not require many words.

“I guess you want to hear my thoughts on the situation,” Goodwin said, getting straight to the point. “I won’t take long.”

“On that night, with others of our friends here, I was keeping a lookout for the president, having been notified of his flight by a telegram in our national cipher from Englehart, one of our leaders in the capital. About ten o’clock that night I saw a man and a woman hurrying along the streets. They went to the Hotel de los Estranjeros, and engaged rooms. I followed them upstairs, leaving Estebán, who had come up, to watch outside. The barber had told me that he had shaved the beard from the president’s face that night; therefore I was prepared, when I entered the rooms, to find him with a smooth face. When I apprehended him in the name of the people he drew a pistol and shot himself instantly. In a few minutes many officers and citizens were on the spot. I suppose you have been informed of the subsequent facts.”

“On that night, with some of our friends, I was keeping an eye out for the president, having received a telegram in our national code from Englehart, one of our leaders in the capital, about his arrival. Around ten o’clock that night, I saw a man and a woman rushing along the streets. They went to the Hotel de los Estranjeros and booked rooms. I followed them upstairs, leaving Estebán, who had come up, to keep watch outside. The barber had told me that he had shaved the president's beard that night, so I was ready to find him clean-shaven when I entered the rooms. When I apprehended him in the name of the people, he pulled out a gun and shot himself immediately. Within a few minutes, many officers and citizens were on the scene. I assume you've been told about what happened next.”

Goodwin paused. Losada’s agent maintained an attitude of waiting, as if he expected a continuance.

Goodwin paused. Losada’s agent kept a waiting posture, as if he anticipated a continuation.

“And now,” went on the American, looking steadily into the eyes of the other man, and giving each word a deliberate emphasis, “you will oblige me by attending carefully to what I have to add. I saw no valise or receptacle of any kind, or any money belonging to the Republic of Anchuria. If President Miraflores decamped with any funds belonging to the treasury of this country, or to himself, or to anyone else, I saw no trace of it in the house or elsewhere, at that time or at any other. Does that statement cover the ground of the inquiry you wished to make of me?”

“And now,” the American continued, looking straight into the other man's eyes and stressing each word, “you will kindly listen closely to what I have to say next. I didn’t see any suitcase or container of any kind, or any money that belonged to the Republic of Anchuria. If President Miraflores ran off with any funds belonging to the treasury of this country, or to himself, or to anyone else, I saw no evidence of it in the house or anywhere else, at that time or at any other. Does that statement address the question you wanted to ask me?”

Colonel Falcon bowed, and described a fluent curve with his cigar. His duty was performed. Goodwin was not to be disputed. He was a loyal supporter of the government, and enjoyed the full confidence of the new president. His rectitude had been the capital that had brought him fortune in Anchuria, just as it had formed the lucrative “graft” of Mellinger, the secretary of Miraflores.

Colonel Falcon bowed and gestured smoothly with his cigar. His job was done. Goodwin was not to be questioned. He was a loyal ally of the government and had the complete trust of the new president. His integrity had been the asset that earned him success in Anchuria, just as it had created the profitable "graft" of Mellinger, the secretary of Miraflores.

“I thank you, Señor Goodwin,” said Falcon, “for speaking plainly. Your word will be sufficient for the president. But, Señor Goodwin, I am instructed to pursue every clue that presents itself in this matter. There is one that I have not yet touched upon. Our friends in France, señor, have a saying, ‘Cherchez la femme,’ when there is a mystery without a clue. But here we do not have to search. The woman who accompanied the late President in his flight must surely—”

“I thank you, Mr. Goodwin,” said Falcon, “for being straightforward. Your word will be enough for the president. But, Mr. Goodwin, I have been instructed to follow every lead that comes up in this case. There’s one that I haven’t addressed yet. Our friends in France, sir, have a saying, ‘Cherchez la femme,’ when there’s a mystery without a clue. But here we don’t need to search. The woman who was with the late President during his escape must surely—”

“I must interrupt you there,” interposed Goodwin. “It is true that when I entered the hotel for the purpose of intercepting President Miraflores I found a lady there. I must beg of you to remember that that lady is now my wife. I speak for her as I do for myself. She knows nothing of the fate of the valise or of the money that you are seeking. You will say to his excellency that I guarantee her innocence. I do not need to add to you, Colonel Falcon, that I do not care to have her questioned or disturbed.”

“I need to interrupt you there,” Goodwin said. “It’s true that when I walked into the hotel to catch President Miraflores, I found a woman there. I need you to remember that this woman is now my wife. I speak for her just as I do for myself. She knows nothing about the fate of the valise or the money you’re looking for. You will tell his excellency that I guarantee her innocence. I don't have to remind you, Colonel Falcon, that I don’t want her questioned or disturbed.”

Colonel Falcon bowed again.

Colonel Falcon bowed once more.

Por supuesto, no!” he cried. And to indicate that the inquiry was ended he added: “And now, señor, let me beg of you to show me that sea view from your galeria of which you spoke. I am a lover of the sea.”

"Of course, not!” he shouted. To signal that the question was over, he added: “And now, sir, please show me that sea view from your gallery that you mentioned. I’m a fan of the sea.”

In the early evening Goodwin walked back to the town with his guest, leaving him at the corner of the Calle Grande. As he was returning homeward one “Beelzebub” Blythe, with the air of a courtier and the outward aspect of a scarecrow, pounced upon him hopefully from the door of a pulperia.

In the early evening, Goodwin walked back to town with his guest, dropping him off at the corner of Calle Grande. As he was heading home, one “Beelzebub” Blythe, acting like a courtier but looking like a scarecrow, eagerly jumped out at him from the door of a pulperia.

Blythe had been re-christened “Beelzebub” as an acknowledgment of the greatness of his fall. Once in some distant Paradise Lost, he had foregathered with the angels of the earth. But Fate had hurled him headlong down to the tropics, where flamed in his bosom a fire that was seldom quenched. In Coralio they called him a beachcomber; but he was, in reality, a categorical idealist who strove to anamorphosize the dull verities of life by the means of brandy and rum. As Beelzebub, himself, might have held in his clutch with unwitting tenacity his harp or crown during his tremendous fall, so his namesake had clung to his gold-rimmed eyeglasses as the only souvenir of his lost estate. These he wore with impressiveness and distinction while he combed beaches and extracted toll from his friends. By some mysterious means he kept his drink-reddened face always smoothly shaven. For the rest he sponged gracefully upon whomsoever he could for enough to keep him pretty drunk, and sheltered from the rains and night dews.

Blythe had been nicknamed “Beelzebub” to acknowledge the extent of his downfall. Once in some far-off Paradise Lost, he had mingled with the angels of the earth. But Fate had thrown him down to the tropics, where a fire that rarely went out burned in his chest. In Coralio, they called him a beachcomber; but in reality, he was a true idealist trying to reshape the dull realities of life with brandy and rum. Just as Beelzebub might have unconsciously clung to his harp or crown during his great fall, his namesake held onto his gold-rimmed eyeglasses as the only reminder of his former life. He wore them with style and flair while he combed the beaches and collected favors from his friends. Somehow, he managed to keep his drink-stained face always smoothly shaved. For everything else, he gracefully relied on anyone he could to keep him sufficiently drunk and sheltered from the rain and night dews.

“Hallo, Goodwin!” called the derelict, airily. “I was hoping I’d strike you. I wanted to see you particularly. Suppose we go where we can talk. Of course you know there’s a chap down here looking up the money old Miraflores lost.”

“Hey, Goodwin!” called the drifter, casually. “I was hoping to run into you. I wanted to see you specifically. Let’s find somewhere we can talk. You know there’s a guy down here looking into the money that old Miraflores lost.”

“Yes,” said Goodwin, “I’ve been talking with him. Let’s go into Espada’s place. I can spare you ten minutes.”

“Yes,” said Goodwin, “I’ve been talking to him. Let’s head into Espada’s place. I can give you ten minutes.”

They went into the pulperia and sat at a little table upon stools with rawhide tops.

They went into the pulperia and sat at a small table on stools with rawhide seats.

“Have a drink?” said Goodwin.

"Want a drink?" asked Goodwin.

“They can’t bring it too quickly,” said Blythe. “I’ve been in a drought ever since morning. Hi—muchacho!—el aguardiente por acá.”

“They can’t bring it too quickly,” said Blythe. “I’ve been in a drought ever since morning. Hi—hey buddy!—the liquor over here.”

“Now, what do you want to see me about?” asked Goodwin, when the drinks were before them.

“Now, what do you want to talk to me about?” asked Goodwin, when the drinks were in front of them.

“Confound it, old man,” drawled Blythe, “why do you spoil a golden moment like this with business? I wanted to see you—well, this has the preference.” He gulped down his brandy, and gazed longingly into the empty glass.

“Darn it, old man,” Blythe said lazily, “why ruin a perfect moment like this with work? I wanted to see you—well, this takes priority.” He downed his brandy and stared wistfully at the empty glass.

“Have another?” suggested Goodwin.

"Want another?" suggested Goodwin.

“Between gentlemen,” said the fallen angel, “I don’t quite like your use of that word ‘another.’ It isn’t quite delicate. But the concrete idea that the word represents is not displeasing.”

“Between gentlemen,” said the fallen angel, “I’m not really fond of your use of the word ‘another.’ It’s not very classy. But the specific idea that the word conveys isn’t bad.”

The glasses were refilled. Blythe sipped blissfully from his, as he began to enter the state of a true idealist.

The glasses were refilled. Blythe happily took a sip from his, as he started to enter the mindset of a true idealist.

“I must trot along in a minute or two,” hinted Goodwin. “Was there anything in particular?”

“I need to get going in a minute or two,” Goodwin said. “Was there something specific you wanted?”

Blythe did not reply at once.

Blythe didn't reply immediately.

“Old Losada would make it a hot country,” he remarked at length, “for the man who swiped that gripsack of treasury boodle, don’t you think?”

“Old Losada would turn it into a hot place,” he said after a while, “for the guy who stole that bag of treasury cash, don’t you think?”

“Undoubtedly, he would,” agreed Goodwin calmly, as he rose leisurely to his feet. “I’ll be running over to the house now, old man. Mrs. Goodwin is alone. There was nothing important you had to say, was there?”

“Of course he would,” Goodwin replied casually as he stood up. “I’m heading over to the house now, my friend. Mrs. Goodwin is by herself. You didn’t have anything important to say, did you?”

“That’s all,” said Blythe. “Unless you wouldn’t mind sending in another drink from the bar as you go out. Old Espada has closed my account to profit and loss. And pay for the lot, will you, like a good fellow?”

"That’s it," said Blythe. "Unless you could grab me another drink from the bar on your way out. Old Espada has shut down my account for profit and loss. And could you cover the whole tab, please, like a good guy?"

“All right,” said Goodwin. “Buenas noches.

“All right,” said Goodwin. “Good night.

“Beelzebub” Blythe lingered over his cups, polishing his eyeglasses with a disreputable handkerchief.

“Beelzebub” Blythe hung around his drinks, wiping his glasses with a shabby handkerchief.

“I thought I could do it, but I couldn’t,” he muttered to himself after a time. “A gentleman can’t blackmail the man that he drinks with.”

“I thought I could do it, but I couldn’t,” he muttered to himself after a while. “A gentleman can’t blackmail the man he drinks with.”

VIII
THE ADMIRAL

Spilled milk draws few tears from an Anchurian administration. Many are its lacteal sources; and the clocks’ hands point forever to milking time. Even the rich cream skimmed from the treasury by the bewitched Miraflores did not cause the newly-installed patriots to waste time in unprofitable regrets. The government philosophically set about supplying the deficiency by increasing the import duties and by “suggesting” to wealthy private citizens that contributions according to their means would be considered patriotic and in order. Prosperity was expected to attend the reign of Losada, the new president. The ousted office-holders and military favourites organized a new “Liberal” party, and began to lay their plans for a re-succession. Thus the game of Anchurian politics began, like a Chinese comedy, to unwind slowly its serial length. Here and there Mirth peeps for an instant from the wings and illumines the florid lines.

Spilled milk causes little distress for an Anchurian government. There are many sources to tap into, and the hands on the clock always point to milking time. Even the rich funds taken from the treasury by the enchanted Miraflores didn’t make the newly installed patriots waste time on unproductive regrets. The government pragmatically went to work on fixing the shortfall by raising import duties and suggesting to wealthy citizens that contributions based on their ability would be seen as patriotic and appropriate. Prosperity was expected to accompany the reign of Losada, the new president. The ousted officeholders and military favorites formed a new “Liberal” party and started planning their comeback. Thus, the game of Anchurian politics started to play out slowly, like a Chinese comedy. Here and there, a bit of cheer pops out from the sidelines, lighting up the extravagant lines.

A dozen quarts of champagne in conjunction with an informal sitting of the president and his cabinet led to the establishment of the navy and the appointment of Felipe Carrera as its admiral.

A dozen quarts of champagne along with a casual meeting of the president and his cabinet resulted in the creation of the navy and the appointment of Felipe Carrera as its admiral.

Next to the champagne the credit of the appointment belongs to Don Sabas Placido, the newly confirmed Minister of War.

Next to the champagne, the credit for the appointment goes to Don Sabas Placido, the newly confirmed Minister of War.

The president had requested a convention of his cabinet for the discussion of questions politic and for the transaction of certain routine matters of state. The session had been signally tedious; the business and the wine prodigiously dry. A sudden, prankish humour of Don Sabas, impelling him to the deed, spiced the grave affairs of state with a whiff of agreeable playfulness.

The president had called a meeting with his cabinet to discuss political issues and handle some routine state matters. The session had been extremely dull; both the discussions and the drinks were incredibly unexciting. A sudden, mischievous mood from Don Sabas, pushing him to act, added a hint of enjoyable playfulness to the serious state matters.

In the dilatory order of business had come a bulletin from the coast department of Orilla del Mar reporting the seizure by the custom-house officers at the town of Coralio of the sloop Estrella del Noche and her cargo of drygoods, patent medicines, granulated sugar and three-star brandy. Also six Martini rifles and a barrel of American whisky. Caught in the act of smuggling, the sloop with its cargo was now, according to law, the property of the republic.

In the slow progress of business, a notice arrived from the coast department of Orilla del Mar reporting that the customs officers in the town of Coralio had seized the sloop Estrella del Noche along with its cargo of dry goods, patent medicines, granulated sugar, and three-star brandy. Additionally, there were six Martini rifles and a barrel of American whiskey. Caught in the act of smuggling, the sloop and its cargo were now, by law, the property of the republic.

The Collector of Customs, in making his report, departed from the conventional forms so far as to suggest that the confiscated vessel be converted to the use of the government. The prize was the first capture to the credit of the department in ten years. The collector took opportunity to pat his department on the back.

The Collector of Customs, in his report, broke away from the usual formats to propose that the seized vessel be repurposed for government use. This prize was the first capture credited to the department in a decade. The collector took the chance to give his department a compliment.

It often happened that government officers required transportation from point to point along the coast, and means were usually lacking. Furthermore, the sloop could be manned by a loyal crew and employed as a coast guard to discourage the pernicious art of smuggling. The collector also ventured to nominate one to whom the charge of the boat could be safely intrusted—a young man of Coralio, Felipe Carrera—not, be it understood, one of extreme wisdom, but loyal and the best sailor along the coast.

It often happened that government officials needed transportation from one spot to another along the coast, and there usually weren't enough options. Additionally, the sloop could be staffed by a loyal crew and used as a coast guard to deter the harmful practice of smuggling. The collector also proposed someone trustworthy to take charge of the boat—a young man from Coralio, Felipe Carrera—not necessarily the wisest but loyal and the best sailor on the coast.

It was upon this hint that the Minister of War acted, executing a rare piece of drollery that so enlivened the tedium of executive session.

It was on this hint that the Minister of War took action, pulling off a rare joke that really lightened the dullness of the executive meeting.

In the constitution of this small, maritime banana republic was a forgotten section that provided for the maintenance of a navy. This provision—with many other wiser ones—had lain inert since the establishment of the republic. Anchuria had no navy and had no use for one. It was characteristic of Don Sabas—a man at once merry, learned, whimsical and audacious—that he should have disturbed the dust of this musty and sleeping statute to increase the humour of the world by so much as a smile from his indulgent colleagues.

In the constitution of this small, coastal banana republic was a forgotten section that called for the maintenance of a navy. This provision—along with many other smarter ones—had remained unused since the republic was established. Anchuria had no navy and had no need for one. It was typical of Don Sabas—a man who was cheerful, knowledgeable, quirky, and bold—that he would stir up the dust of this old and dormant law just to bring a smile to the faces of his easygoing colleagues.

With delightful mock seriousness the Minister of War proposed the creation of a navy. He argued its need and the glories it might achieve with such gay and witty zeal that the travesty overcame with its humour even the swart dignity of President Losada himself.

With playful seriousness, the Minister of War suggested creating a navy. He debated its necessity and the glorious achievements it could attain with such cheerful and clever enthusiasm that the parody even managed to overshadow the grim dignity of President Losada himself.

The champagne was bubbling trickily in the veins of the mercurial statesmen. It was not the custom of the grave governors of Anchuria to enliven their sessions with a beverage so apt to cast a veil of disparagement over sober affairs. The wine had been a thoughtful compliment tendered by the agent of the Vesuvius Fruit Company as a token of amicable relations—and certain consummated deals—between that company and the republic of Anchuria.

The champagne was bubbling mischievously in the veins of the unpredictable politicians. It wasn’t typical for the serious leaders of Anchuria to spice up their meetings with a drink that could easily cloud clear judgment. The wine was a polite gesture from the agent of the Vesuvius Fruit Company, symbolizing friendly relations—and some completed deals—between the company and the republic of Anchuria.

The jest was carried to its end. A formidable, official document was prepared, encrusted with chromatic seals and jaunty with fluttering ribbons, bearing the florid signatures of state. This commission conferred upon el Señor Don Felipe Carrera the title of Flag Admiral of the Republic of Anchuria. Thus within the space of a few minutes and the dominion of a dozen “extra dry,” the country took its place among the naval powers of the world, and Felipe Carrera became entitled to a salute of nineteen guns whenever he might enter port.

The joke was brought to a close. An impressive official document was created, decorated with colorful seals and lively ribbons, featuring the elaborate signatures of state officials. This commission granted el Señor Don Felipe Carrera the title of Flag Admiral of the Republic of Anchuria. So, in just a few minutes and a handful of "extra dry" drinks, the country joined the ranks of naval powers worldwide, and Felipe Carrera earned the right to a salute of nineteen guns whenever he entered port.

The southern races are lacking in that particular kind of humour that finds entertainment in the defects and misfortunes bestowed by Nature. Owing to this defect in their constitution they are not moved to laughter (as are their northern brothers) by the spectacle of the deformed, the feeble-minded or the insane.

The southern races lack a certain type of humor that finds amusement in the flaws and misfortunes given by Nature. Because of this shortcoming in their makeup, they aren’t prompted to laugh (like their northern counterparts) at the sight of the deformed, the mentally challenged, or the insane.

Felipe Carrera was sent upon earth with but half his wits. Therefore, the people of Coralio called him “El pobrecito loco”—“the poor little crazed one”—saying that God had sent but half of him to earth, retaining the other half.

Felipe Carrera was sent to earth with only half his wits. So, the people of Coralio called him “El pobrecito loco”—“the poor little crazed one”—claiming that God had sent just half of him to earth, keeping the other half.

A sombre youth, glowering, and speaking only at the rarest times, Felipe was but negatively “loco.” On shore he generally refused all conversation. He seemed to know that he was badly handicapped on land, where so many kinds of understanding are needed; but on the water his one talent set him equal with most men. Few sailors whom God had carefully and completely made could handle a sailboat as well. Five points nearer the wind than even the best of them he could sail his sloop. When the elements raged and set other men to cowering, the deficiencies of Felipe seemed of little importance. He was a perfect sailor, if an imperfect man. He owned no boat, but worked among the crews of the schooners and sloops that skimmed the coast, trading and freighting fruit out to the steamers where there was no harbour. It was through his famous skill and boldness on the sea, as well as for the pity felt for his mental imperfections, that he was recommended by the collector as a suitable custodian of the captured sloop.

A serious young man, scowling and rarely speaking, Felipe was somewhat “crazy” in a negative sense. On land, he usually avoided any conversation. He seemed aware that he struggled on shore, where various types of understanding are necessary; but on the water, his singular talent made him equal to most people. Few sailors, who were perfectly made by God, could handle a sailboat as well as he could. He could sail his sloop five degrees closer to the wind than even the best of them. When the elements were furious and made others shrink in fear, Felipe's shortcomings mattered little. He was an excellent sailor, even if he wasn’t a perfect person. He didn’t own a boat but worked with the crews of the schooners and sloops that sailed along the coast, trading and transporting fruit to the steamers where there were no harbors. It was due to his renowned skill and bravery at sea, combined with the sympathy for his mental challenges, that he was recommended by the collector as a suitable caretaker of the captured sloop.

When the outcome of Don Sabas’ little pleasantry arrived in the form of the imposing and preposterous commission, the collector smiled. He had not expected such prompt and overwhelming response to his recommendation. He despatched a muchacho at once to fetch the future admiral.

When the result of Don Sabas’ little joke came in the shape of the huge and absurd commission, the collector smiled. He hadn’t anticipated such a quick and intense reaction to his suggestion. He immediately sent a muchacho to get the future admiral.

The collector waited in his official quarters. His office was in the Calle Grande, and the sea breezes hummed through its windows all day. The collector, in white linen and canvas shoes, philandered with papers on an antique desk. A parrot, perched on a pen rack, seasoned the official tedium with a fire of choice Castilian imprecations. Two rooms opened into the collector’s. In one the clerical force of young men of variegated complexions transacted with glitter and parade their several duties. Through the open door of the other room could be seen a bronze babe, guiltless of clothing, that rollicked upon the floor. In a grass hammock a thin woman, tinted a pale lemon, played a guitar and swung contentedly in the breeze. Thus surrounded by the routine of his high duties and the visible tokens of agreeable domesticity, the collector’s heart was further made happy by the power placed in his hands to brighten the fortunes of the “innocent” Felipe.

The collector waited in his official quarters. His office was on Calle Grande, and the sea breezes flowed through its windows all day. The collector, dressed in white linen and canvas shoes, shuffled papers on an antique desk. A parrot, sitting on a pen rack, added some excitement to the official monotony with a string of choice Castilian curses. Two rooms opened into the collector’s office. In one, a group of young clerks with diverse backgrounds moved around, adding sparkle as they performed their various tasks. Through the open door of the other room, a bronze baby, blissfully undressed, could be seen playing on the floor. In a grass hammock, a slim woman, a pale shade of lemon, strummed a guitar and swayed happily in the breeze. Surrounded by the regular rhythm of his important work and the clear signs of a pleasant home life, the collector’s heart was further lifted by the power he held to improve the fortunes of the “innocent” Felipe.

Felipe came and stood before the collector. He was a lad of twenty, not ill-favoured in looks, but with an expression of distant and pondering vacuity. He wore white cotton trousers, down the seams of which he had sewed red stripes with some vague aim at military decoration. A flimsy blue shirt fell open at his throat; his feet were bare; he held in his hand the cheapest of straw hats from the States.

Felipe came and stood in front of the collector. He was a twenty-year-old guy, not unattractive, but with a look of deep thought and emptiness on his face. He wore white cotton pants, with red stripes sewn along the seams in a vague attempt at a military style. A flimsy blue shirt hung open at his neck; his feet were bare; and he held the cheapest straw hat from the States in his hand.

“Señor Carrera,” said the collector, gravely, producing the showy commission, “I have sent for you at the president’s bidding. This document that I present to you confers upon you the title of Admiral of this great republic, and gives you absolute command of the naval forces and fleet of our country. You may think, friend Felipe, that we have no navy—but yes! The sloop the Estrella del Noche, that my brave men captured from the coast smugglers, is to be placed under your command. The boat is to be devoted to the services of your country. You will be ready at all times to convey officials of the government to points along the coast where they may be obliged to visit. You will also act as a coast-guard to prevent, as far as you may be able, the crime of smuggling. You will uphold the honour and prestige of your country at sea, and endeavour to place Anchuria among the proudest naval powers of the world. These are your instructions as the Minister of War desires me to convey them to you. Por Dios! I do not know how all this is to be accomplished, for not one word did his letter contain in respect to a crew or to the expenses of this navy. Perhaps you are to provide a crew yourself, Señor Admiral—I do not know—but it is a very high honour that has descended upon you. I now hand you your commission. When you are ready for the boat I will give orders that she shall be made over into your charge. That is as far as my instructions go.”

“Señor Carrera,” the collector said seriously, handing over the flashy commission, “I’ve called you here at the president’s request. This document I’m presenting to you gives you the title of Admiral of this great republic and grants you complete command of our country’s naval forces and fleet. You might think, friend Felipe, that we don’t have a navy—but we do! The sloop Estrella del Noche, which my brave men captured from the smugglers along the coast, will be under your command. This vessel will serve your country’s needs. You’ll be prepared at all times to transport government officials to various points along the coast when necessary. You’ll also act as a coast guard to help prevent smuggling as much as you can. You will uphold the honor and reputation of your country at sea and strive to elevate Anchuria among the top naval powers in the world. These are your instructions as the Minister of War asked me to pass them on to you. Por Dios! I’m not sure how all this will be carried out, as his letter didn’t mention anything about a crew or the expenses for this navy. Perhaps you’ll have to arrange for a crew yourself, Señor Admiral—I really don’t know—but it’s a very high honor that has been bestowed upon you. I now hand you your commission. When you’re ready for the boat, I will order that it be transferred to your charge. That’s as far as my instructions go.”

Felipe took the commission that the collector handed to him. He gazed through the open window at the sea for a moment, with his customary expression of deep but vain pondering. Then he turned without having spoken a word, and walked swiftly away through the hot sand of the street.

Felipe accepted the commission from the collector. He looked out the open window at the sea for a moment, wearing his usual look of deep but pointless thinking. Then he turned without saying a word and walked quickly away through the hot sand of the street.

Pobrecito loco!” sighed the collector; and the parrot on the pen racks screeched “Loco!—loco!—loco!”

Poor crazy guy!” sighed the collector; and the parrot on the pen racks screeched “Crazy!—crazy!—crazy!”

The next morning a strange procession filed through the streets to the collector’s office. At its head was the admiral of the navy. Somewhere Felipe had raked together a pitiful semblance of a military uniform—a pair of red trousers, a dingy blue short jacket heavily ornamented with gold braid, and an old fatigue cap that must have been cast away by one of the British soldiers in Belize and brought away by Felipe on one of his coasting voyages. Buckled around his waist was an ancient ship’s cutlass contributed to his equipment by Pedro Lafitte, the baker, who proudly asserted its inheritance from his ancestor, the illustrious buccaneer. At the admiral’s heels tagged his newly-shipped crew—three grinning, glossy, black Caribs, bare to the waist, the sand spurting in showers from the spring of their naked feet.

The next morning, a strange group made its way through the streets to the collector’s office. Leading the way was the admiral of the navy. Somehow, Felipe had pieced together a sorry excuse for a military uniform—a pair of red pants, a faded blue short jacket decked out with gold braid, and an old fatigue cap that must have been discarded by a British soldier in Belize and taken by Felipe on one of his coastal trips. Tied around his waist was an old ship’s cutlass, which Pedro Lafitte, the baker, had given him, claiming it was passed down from his ancestor, the famous buccaneer. Following closely behind the admiral was his newly recruited crew—three grinning, shiny black Caribs, bare from the waist up, with sand flying in clouds from their bare feet.

Briefly and with dignity Felipe demanded his vessel of the collector. And now a fresh honour awaited him. The collector’s wife, who played the guitar and read novels in the hammock all day, had more than a little romance in her placid, yellow bosom. She had found in an old book an engraving of a flag that purported to be the naval flag of Anchuria. Perhaps it had so been designed by the founders of the nation; but, as no navy had ever been established, oblivion had claimed the flag. Laboriously with her own hands she had made a flag after the pattern—a red cross upon a blue-and-white ground. She presented it to Felipe with these words: “Brave sailor, this flag is of your country. Be true, and defend it with your life. Go you with God.”

Briefly and with dignity, Felipe asked the collector for his vessel. Now, a new honor awaited him. The collector’s wife, who spent her days playing guitar and reading novels in the hammock, had a hint of romance in her calm, yellow bosom. She had discovered an old book containing an engraving of a flag that was said to be the naval flag of Anchuria. It might have been designed by the nation’s founders; however, since no navy had ever been established, the flag had been forgotten. With great effort, she crafted a flag based on that design—a red cross on a blue-and-white background. She presented it to Felipe, saying: “Brave sailor, this flag is of your country. Be true and defend it with your life. May God go with you.”

For the first time since his appointment the admiral showed a flicker of emotion. He took the silken emblem, and passed his hand reverently over its surface. “I am the admiral,” he said to the collector’s lady. Being on land he could bring himself to no more exuberant expression of sentiment. At sea with the flag at the masthead of his navy, some more eloquent exposition of feelings might be forthcoming.

For the first time since he became admiral, he showed a hint of emotion. He took the silky emblem and ran his hand over it with reverence. “I am the admiral,” he said to the collector’s wife. Being on land, he couldn’t manage a more enthusiastic display of feelings. At sea, with the flag waving from his ship, he might have expressed himself more openly.

Abruptly the admiral departed with his crew. For the next three days they were busy giving the Estrella del Noche a new coat of white paint trimmed with blue. And then Felipe further adorned himself by fastening a handful of brilliant parrot’s plumes in his cap. Again he tramped with his faithful crew to the collector’s office and formally notified him that the sloop’s name had been changed to El Nacional.

Abruptly, the admiral left with his crew. For the next three days, they worked on giving the Estrella del Noche a fresh coat of white paint with blue trim. Then Felipe embellished his appearance by attaching a handful of vibrant parrot feathers to his cap. Once again, he marched with his loyal crew to the collector’s office and officially informed him that the sloop’s name had been changed to El Nacional.

During the next few months the navy had its troubles. Even an admiral is perplexed to know what to do without any orders. But none came. Neither did any salaries. El Nacional swung idly at anchor.

During the next few months, the navy faced its challenges. Even an admiral can feel confused about what to do when there are no orders. But none arrived. There were also no salaries. El Nacional hung around at anchor with nothing to do.

When Felipe’s little store of money was exhausted he went to the collector and raised the question of finances.

When Felipe ran out of money, he went to the collector to discuss his finances.

“Salaries!” exclaimed the collector, with hands raised; “Valgame Dios! not one centavo of my own pay have I received for the last seven months. The pay of an admiral, do you ask? Quién sabe? Should it be less than three thousand pesos? Mira! you will see a revolution in this country very soon. A good sign of it is when the government calls all the time for pesos, pesos, pesos, and pays none out.”

“Salaries!” shouted the collector, raising his hands. “Good Lord! I haven't received a single centavo of my pay for the last seven months. The pay of an admiral, you ask? Who knows? Should it be less than three thousand pesos? Look! You'll see a revolution in this country very soon. A clear sign of it is when the government is always calling for pesos, pesos, pesos, and pays none out.”

Felipe left the collector’s office with a look almost of content on his sombre face. A revolution would mean fighting, and then the government would need his services. It was rather humiliating to be an admiral without anything to do, and have a hungry crew at your heels begging for reales to buy plantains and tobacco with.

Felipe walked out of the collector’s office with a nearly satisfied expression on his serious face. A revolution would mean fighting, and then the government would need his help. It was pretty humiliating to be an admiral with nothing to do, especially with a hungry crew at his back begging for reales to buy plantains and tobacco.

When he returned to where his happy-go-lucky Caribs were waiting they sprang up and saluted, as he had drilled them to do.

When he got back to where his carefree Caribs were waiting, they jumped up and greeted him, just like he had taught them to do.

“Come, muchachos,” said the admiral; “it seems that the government is poor. It has no money to give us. We will earn what we need to live upon. Thus will we serve our country. Soon”—his heavy eyes almost lighted up—“it may gladly call upon us for help.”

“Come, guys,” said the admiral; “it looks like the government is short on funds. They don’t have any money to give us. We’ll earn what we need to live on. This is how we’ll serve our country. Soon”—his tired eyes almost sparkled—“it might happily ask us for help.”

Thereafter El Nacional turned out with the other coast craft and became a wage-earner. She worked with the lighters freighting bananas and oranges out to the fruit steamers that could not approach nearer than a mile from the shore. Surely a self-supporting navy deserves red letters in the budget of any nation.

Thereafter El Nacional joined the other coastal vessels and started earning a living. She transported bananas and oranges to the fruit steamers that couldn’t get closer than a mile from the shore. Surely, a self-sustaining navy deserves recognition in any nation's budget.

After earning enough at freighting to keep himself and his crew in provisions for a week Felipe would anchor the navy and hang about the little telegraph office, looking like one of the chorus of an insolvent comic opera troupe besieging the manager’s den. A hope for orders from the capital was always in his heart. That his services as admiral had never been called into requirement hurt his pride and patriotism. At every call he would inquire, gravely and expectantly, for despatches. The operator would pretend to make a search, and then reply:

After making enough money from shipping to support himself and his crew for a week, Felipe would anchor the navy and hang around the small telegraph office, looking like a member of a broke comic opera group waiting outside the manager's office. He always held onto the hope of receiving orders from the capital. The fact that his skills as an admiral had never been needed stung his pride and sense of patriotism. With every visit, he would ask, seriously and hopefully, about any messages. The operator would act as if he were searching, and then respond:

“Not yet, it seems, Señor el Almirante—poco tiempo!

“Not yet, it seems, Sir Admiral—just a little longer!

Outside in the shade of the lime-trees the crew chewed sugar cane or slumbered, well content to serve a country that was contented with so little service.

Outside in the shade of the lime trees, the crew chewed on sugar cane or napped, happy to serve a country that was satisfied with so little effort.

One day in the early summer the revolution predicted by the collector flamed out suddenly. It had long been smouldering. At the first note of alarm the admiral of the navy force and fleet made all sail for a larger port on the coast of a neighbouring republic, where he traded a hastily collected cargo of fruit for its value in cartridges for the five Martini rifles, the only guns that the navy could boast. Then to the telegraph office sped the admiral. Sprawling in his favourite corner, in his fast-decaying uniform, with his prodigious sabre distributed between his red legs, he waited for the long-delayed, but now soon expected, orders.

One day in early summer, the revolution that the collector had predicted erupted suddenly. It had been simmering for a long time. At the first sign of trouble, the admiral of the navy force and fleet made all sail for a larger port on the coast of a neighboring republic, where he exchanged a quickly gathered cargo of fruit for its value in cartridges for the five Martini rifles, the only guns the navy had. Then the admiral rushed to the telegraph office. Sprawled in his favorite corner, in his rapidly deteriorating uniform, with his enormous sword resting between his red legs, he waited for the long-overdue, but now soon-expected, orders.

“Not yet, Señor el Almirante,” the telegraph clerk would call to him—“poco tiempo!

“Not yet, Señor el Almirante,” the telegraph clerk would call to him—“soon!

At the answer the admiral would plump himself down with a great rattling of scabbard to await the infrequent tick of the little instrument on the table.

At the answer, the admiral would sit down heavily with a loud clatter of his scabbard to wait for the rare tick of the small device on the table.

“They will come,” would be his unshaken reply; “I am the admiral.”

“They will come,” would be his steady reply; “I am the admiral.”

IX
THE FLAG PARAMOUNT

At the head of the insurgent party appeared that Hector and learned Theban of the southern republics, Don Sabas Placido. A traveller, a soldier, a poet, a scientist, a statesman and a connoisseur—the wonder was that he could content himself with the petty, remote life of his native country.

At the forefront of the rebel group was Hector, a knowledgeable Theban from the southern republics, Don Sabas Placido. He was a traveler, a soldier, a poet, a scientist, a statesman, and a connoisseur—it's remarkable that he could be satisfied with the small, isolated life of his hometown.

“It is a whim of Placido’s,” said a friend who knew him well, “to take up political intrigue. It is not otherwise than as if he had come upon a new tempo in music, a new bacillus in the air, a new scent, or rhyme, or explosive. He will squeeze this revolution dry of sensations, and a week afterward will forget it, skimming the seas of the world in his brigantine to add to his already world-famous collections. Collections of what? Por Dios! of everything from postage stamps to prehistoric stone idols.”

“It’s just one of Placido’s whims,” said a friend who knew him well, “to get into political intrigue. It’s like he’s stumbled upon a new tempo in music, a new germ in the air, a new scent, rhyme, or explosion. He’ll drain this revolution of all its excitement, and a week later, he’ll forget about it, sailing around the world in his brigantine to add to his already world-famous collections. Collections of what? Por Dios! Everything from postage stamps to prehistoric stone idols.”

But, for a mere dilettante, the æsthetic Placido seemed to be creating a lively row. The people admired him; they were fascinated by his brilliancy and flattered by his taking an interest in so small a thing as his native country. They rallied to the call of his lieutenants in the capital, where (somewhat contrary to arrangements) the army remained faithful to the government. There was also lively skirmishing in the coast towns. It was rumoured that the revolution was aided by the Vesuvius Fruit Company, the power that forever stood with chiding smile and uplifted finger to keep Anchuria in the class of good children. Two of its steamers, the Traveler and the Salvador, were known to have conveyed insurgent troops from point to point along the coast.

But for a casual enthusiast, the artistic Placido seemed to be stirring up quite a commotion. People admired him; they were captivated by his brilliance and flattered by his interest in something as minor as his home country. They responded to the call of his supporters in the capital, where the army, somewhat against expectations, stayed loyal to the government. There were also intense skirmishes in the coastal towns. It was rumored that the revolution was supported by the Vesuvius Fruit Company, the entity that always stood with a disapproving smile and finger raised to keep Anchuria in line as a well-behaved child. Two of its steamers, the Traveler and the Salvador, were known to have transported insurgent troops from one point to another along the coast.

As yet there had been no actual uprising in Coralio. Military law prevailed, and the ferment was bottled for the time. And then came the word that everywhere the revolutionists were encountering defeat. In the capital the president’s forces triumphed; and there was a rumour that the leaders of the revolt had been forced to fly, hotly pursued.

As of now, there hadn’t been any actual uprising in Coralio. Military law was in effect, keeping the tension contained for the moment. Then news broke that revolutionaries were facing defeat everywhere. In the capital, the president’s forces were winning; and there were rumors that the leaders of the revolt had to flee, being chased down.

In the little telegraph office at Coralio there was always a gathering of officials and loyal citizens, awaiting news from the seat of government. One morning the telegraph key began clicking, and presently the operator called, loudly: “One telegram for el Almirante, Don Señor Felipe Carrera!”

In the small telegraph office at Coralio, there was always a crowd of officials and loyal citizens waiting for updates from the government. One morning, the telegraph key started clicking, and soon the operator called out loudly, “One telegram for el Almirante, Don Señor Felipe Carrera!”

There was a shuffling sound, a great rattling of tin scabbard, and the admiral, prompt at his spot of waiting, leaped across the room to receive it.

There was a shuffling noise, a loud clattering of a tin scabbard, and the admiral, ready at his waiting spot, jumped across the room to take it.

The message was handed to him. Slowly spelling it out, he found it to be his first official order—thus running:

The message was given to him. As he slowly spelled it out, he realized it was his first official order—reading as follows:

Proceed immediately with your vessel to mouth of Rio Ruiz; transport beef and provisions to barracks at Alforan.

Proceed immediately with your boat to the mouth of Rio Ruiz; bring beef and supplies to the barracks at Alforan.

Martinez, General.

General Martinez.

Small glory, to be sure, in this, his country’s first call. But it had called, and joy surged in the admiral’s breast. He drew his cutlass belt to another buckle hole, roused his dozing crew, and in a quarter of an hour El Nacional was tacking swiftly down coast in a stiff landward breeze.

Small glory, for sure, in this, his country’s first call. But it had called, and joy surged in the admiral’s heart. He adjusted his cutlass belt to another notch, woke up his dozing crew, and in a quarter of an hour El Nacional was sailing quickly down the coast in a strong onshore breeze.

The Rio Ruiz is a small river, emptying into the sea ten miles below Coralio. That portion of the coast is wild and solitary. Through a gorge in the Cordilleras rushes the Rio Ruiz, cold and bubbling, to glide, at last, with breadth and leisure, through an alluvial morass into the sea.

The Rio Ruiz is a small river that flows into the sea ten miles downstream from Coralio. That stretch of coast is wild and remote. The Rio Ruiz rushes through a gorge in the mountains, cold and bubbling, before finally meandering with ease through a muddy plain into the sea.

In two hours El Nacional entered the river’s mouth. The banks were crowded with a disposition of formidable trees. The sumptuous undergrowth of the tropics overflowed the land, and drowned itself in the fallow waters. Silently the sloop entered there, and met a deeper silence. Brilliant with greens and ochres and floral scarlets, the umbrageous mouth of the Rio Ruiz furnished no sound or movement save of the sea-going water as it purled against the prow of the vessel. Small chance there seemed of wresting beef or provisions from that empty solitude.

In two hours, El Nacional reached the mouth of the river. The banks were filled with imposing trees. The lush tropical undergrowth spilled over the land and submerged itself in the still waters. Quietly, the sloop entered and encountered an even deeper silence. Vibrant with greens, ochres, and floral reds, the shaded entrance of the Rio Ruiz offered no sounds or movement except for the ocean waves gently lapping against the bow of the boat. It seemed unlikely to find any meat or supplies in that desolate emptiness.

The admiral decided to cast anchor, and, at the chain’s rattle, the forest was stimulated to instant and resounding uproar. The mouth of the Rio Ruiz had only been taking a morning nap. Parrots and baboons screeched and barked in the trees; a whirring and a hissing and a booming marked the awakening of animal life; a dark blue bulk was visible for an instant, as a startled tapir fought his way through the vines.

The admiral decided to drop anchor, and as the chain rattled, the forest erupted into noise. The mouth of the Rio Ruiz had only been half-asleep. Parrots and baboons screeched and barked in the trees; the sounds of whirring, hissing, and booming filled the air as animal life stirred. A dark blue shape appeared for a moment as a startled tapir battled through the vines.

The navy, under orders, hung in the mouth of the little river for hours. The crew served the dinner of shark’s fin soup, plantains, crab gumbo and sour wine. The admiral, with a three-foot telescope, closely scanned the impervious foliage fifty yards away.

The navy, following orders, waited at the mouth of the small river for hours. The crew served dinner, which included shark fin soup, plantains, crab gumbo, and sour wine. The admiral, using a three-foot telescope, carefully examined the dense foliage fifty yards away.

It was nearly sunset when a reverberating “hal-lo-o-o!” came from the forest to their left. It was answered; and three men, mounted upon mules, crashed through the tropic tangle to within a dozen yards of the river’s bank. There they dismounted; and one, unbuckling his belt, struck each mule a violent blow with his sword scabbard, so that they, with a fling of heels, dashed back again into the forest.

It was almost sunset when a booming “hello!” echoed from the forest to their left. It was answered, and three men riding mules burst through the tropical undergrowth, stopping just a dozen yards from the riverbank. They got off their mules, and one of them, unbuckling his belt, hit each mule hard with the scabbard of his sword, causing them to kick their heels and dash back into the forest.

Those were strange-looking men to be conveying beef and provisions. One was a large and exceedingly active man, of striking presence. He was of the purest Spanish type, with curling, gray-besprinkled, dark hair, blue, sparkling eyes, and the pronounced air of a caballero grande. The other two were small, brown-faced men, wearing white military uniforms, high riding boots and swords. The clothes of all were drenched, bespattered and rent by the thicket. Some stress of circumstance must have driven them, diable à quatre, through flood, mire and jungle.

Those were some odd-looking guys bringing in beef and supplies. One was a big and super active man with a commanding presence. He was the purest Spanish type, with curly, dark hair flecked with gray, sparkling blue eyes, and the distinct vibe of a caballero grande. The other two were small, brown-faced men wearing white military uniforms, tall riding boots, and swords. All of their clothes were soaked, splattered, and torn from the underbrush. Some tough situation must have pushed them, diable à quatre, through flood, mud, and jungle.

O-hé! Señor Almirante,” called the large man. “Send to us your boat.”

Hey! Admiral,” called the large man. “Send your boat to us.”

The dory was lowered, and Felipe, with one of the Caribs, rowed toward the left bank.

The small boat was lowered, and Felipe, along with one of the Caribs, rowed toward the left bank.

The large man stood near the water’s brink, waist deep in the curling vines. As he gazed upon the scarecrow figure in the stern of the dory a sprightly interest beamed upon his mobile face.

The big man stood by the water's edge, waist-deep in the twisting vines. As he looked at the scarecrow figure in the back of the boat, a lively interest lit up his expressive face.

Months of wageless and thankless service had dimmed the admiral’s splendour. His red trousers were patched and ragged. Most of the bright buttons and yellow braid were gone from his jacket. The visor of his cap was torn, and depended almost to his eyes. The admiral’s feet were bare.

Months of unpaid and unappreciated work had dulled the admiral's shine. His red pants were patched and worn out. Most of the shiny buttons and yellow trim were missing from his jacket. The brim of his cap was torn and hung almost down to his eyes. The admiral's feet were bare.

“Dear admiral,” cried the large man, and his voice was like a blast from a horn, “I kiss your hands. I knew we could build upon your fidelity. You had our despatch—from General Martinez. A little nearer with your boat, dear Admiral. Upon these devils of shifting vines we stand with the smallest security.”

“Dear Admiral,” shouted the big guy, and his voice was like a horn blast, “I kiss your hands. I knew we could count on your loyalty. You received our message—from General Martinez. Bring your boat a little closer, dear Admiral. We’re standing on these treacherous shifting vines with hardly any security.”

Felipe regarded him with a stolid face.

Felipe looked at him with an expressionless face.

“Provisions and beef for the barracks at Alforan,” he quoted.

“Supplies and beef for the barracks at Alforan,” he quoted.

“No fault of the butchers, Almirante mio, that the beef awaits you not. But you are come in time to save the cattle. Get us aboard your vessel, señor, at once. You first, caballeros—á priesa! Come back for me. The boat is too small.”

“No fault of the butchers, Admiral my, that the beef isn’t ready for you. But you’ve arrived just in time to save the cattle. Get us on your ship, sir, right away. You first, gentlemen—hurry! Come back for me. The boat is too small.”

The dory conveyed the two officers to the sloop, and returned for the large man.

The small boat took the two officers to the sloop and went back for the large man.

“Have you so gross a thing as food, good admiral?” he cried, when aboard. “And, perhaps, coffee? Beef and provisions! Nombre de Dios! a little longer and we could have eaten one of those mules that you, Colonel Rafael, saluted so feelingly with your sword scabbard at parting. Let us have food; and then we will sail—for the barracks at Alforan—no?”

“Do you have any food, good admiral?” he exclaimed when he got on board. “And maybe some coffee? Meat and supplies! Nombre de Dios! If we waited any longer, we might have had to eat one of those mules that you, Colonel Rafael, so emotionally saluted with your sword scabbard when we said goodbye. Let’s get some food; then we can sail—for the barracks at Alforan—right?”

The Caribs prepared a meal, to which the three passengers of El Nacional set themselves with famished delight. About sunset, as was its custom, the breeze veered and swept back from the mountains, cool and steady, bringing a taste of the stagnant lagoons and mangrove swamps that guttered the lowlands. The mainsail of the sloop was hoisted and swelled to it, and at that moment they heard shouts and a waxing clamour from the bosky profundities of the shore.

The Caribs cooked a meal, and the three passengers of El Nacional dove in with hungry excitement. Around sunset, as usual, the breeze shifted and blew down from the mountains, cool and steady, carrying the scent of the still lagoons and mangrove swamps that filled the lowlands. The sloop's mainsail was raised and caught the wind, and at that moment, they heard shouts and a growing commotion from the thick foliage along the shore.

“The butchers, my dear admiral,” said the large man, smiling, “too late for the slaughter.”

“The butchers, my dear admiral,” said the big man, smiling, “are too late for the slaughter.”

Further than his orders to his crew, the admiral was saying nothing. The topsail and jib were spread, and the sloop glided out of the estuary. The large man and his companions had bestowed themselves with what comfort they could about the bare deck. Belike, the thing big in their minds had been their departure from that critical shore; and now that the hazard was so far reduced their thoughts were loosed to the consideration of further deliverance. But when they saw the sloop turn and fly up coast again they relaxed, satisfied with the course the admiral had taken.

Further than his orders to the crew, the admiral wasn’t saying anything. The topsail and jib were set, and the sloop glided out of the estuary. The large man and his companions made themselves as comfortable as they could on the bare deck. It seemed like what was weighing heavily on their minds was leaving that dangerous shore; and now that the risk was much lower, their thoughts turned to the idea of further escape. But when they saw the sloop turn and head back up the coast again, they relaxed, happy with the admiral's decision.

The large man sat at ease, his spirited blue eye engaged in the contemplation of the navy’s commander. He was trying to estimate this sombre and fantastic lad, whose impenetrable stolidity puzzled him. Himself a fugitive, his life sought, and chafing under the smart of defeat and failure, it was characteristic of him to transfer instantly his interest to the study of a thing new to him. It was like him, too, to have conceived and risked all upon this last desperate and madcap scheme—this message to a poor, crazed fanatico cruising about with his grotesque uniform and his farcical title. But his companions had been at their wits’ end; escape had seemed incredible; and now he was pleased with the success of the plan they had called crack-brained and precarious.

The big man sat relaxed, his lively blue eye focused on the navy commander. He was trying to figure out this serious and strange young guy, whose unreadable calmness confused him. As a fugitive, with his life on the line and feeling the sting of defeat and failure, it was typical for him to quickly shift his interest to something new. It was also in character for him to have come up with and risked everything on this last desperate and wild scheme—this message to a poor, crazy fanatico wandering around in his ridiculous uniform and silly title. But his friends had been at a loss; escape seemed impossible; and now he was satisfied with the success of the plan they had called crazy and risky.

The brief, tropic twilight seemed to slide swiftly into the pearly splendour of a moonlit night. And now the lights of Coralio appeared, distributed against the darkening shore to their right. The admiral stood, silent, at the tiller; the Caribs, like black panthers, held the sheets, leaping noiselessly at his short commands. The three passengers were watching intently the sea before them, and when at length they came in sight of the bulk of a steamer lying a mile out from the town, with her lights radiating deep into the water, they held a sudden voluble and close-headed converse. The sloop was speeding as if to strike midway between ship and shore.

The brief tropical twilight quickly faded into the pearly glow of a moonlit night. Now, the lights of Coralio appeared against the darkening shore to their right. The admiral stood silently at the helm; the Caribs, like black panthers, held the sails, moving quietly at his brief commands. The three passengers watched intently at the sea ahead, and when they finally spotted the silhouette of a steamer a mile out from the town, with its lights shimmering deep into the water, they began a lively and intense conversation. The sloop was racing as if to position itself halfway between the ship and the shore.

The large man suddenly separated from his companions and approached the scarecrow at the helm.

The big guy suddenly stepped away from his friends and walked up to the scarecrow in charge.

“My dear admiral,” he said, “the government has been exceedingly remiss. I feel all the shame for it that only its ignorance of your devoted service has prevented it from sustaining. An inexcusable oversight has been made. A vessel, a uniform and a crew worthy of your fidelity shall be furnished you. But just now, dear admiral, there is business of moment afoot. The steamer lying there is the Salvador. I and my friends desire to be conveyed to her, where we are sent on the government’s business. Do us the favour to shape your course accordingly.”

“My dear admiral,” he said, “the government has been incredibly negligent. I feel all the shame for it that only its ignorance of your dedicated service has prevented it from acknowledging. An unacceptable oversight has occurred. A ship, a uniform, and a crew deserving of your loyalty will be provided to you. But right now, dear admiral, there is urgent business to attend to. The steamer over there is the Salvador. My friends and I need to be taken to her, as we are on a government mission. Please do us the favor of adjusting your course accordingly.”

Without replying, the admiral gave a sharp command, and put the tiller hard to port. El Nacional swerved, and headed straight as an arrow’s course for the shore.

Without responding, the admiral issued a quick command and turned the tiller sharply to the left. El Nacional veered and headed straight towards the shore like an arrow.

“Do me the favour,” said the large man, a trifle restively, “to acknowledge, at least, that you catch the sound of my words.” It was possible that the fellow might be lacking in senses as well as intellect.

“Do me a favor,” said the large man, a bit impatiently, “at least acknowledge that you hear what I’m saying.” It was possible that the guy might be lacking in both senses and intelligence.

The admiral emitted a croaking, harsh laugh, and spake.

The admiral let out a harsh, croaking laugh and spoke.

“They will stand you,” he said, “with your face to a wall and shoot you dead. That is the way they kill traitors. I knew you when you stepped into my boat. I have seen your picture in a book. You are Sabas Placido, traitor to your country. With your face to a wall. So, you will die. I am the admiral, and I will take you to them. With your face to a wall. Yes.”

“They will execute you,” he said, “with your back to the wall and shoot you without hesitation. That’s how they deal with traitors. I recognized you when you got into my boat. I’ve seen your picture in a book. You’re Sabas Placido, a traitor to your country. Facing the wall. That’s how you will die. I’m the admiral, and I’ll take you to them. Facing the wall. Yes.”

Don Sabas half turned and waved his hand, with a ringing laugh, toward his fellow fugitives. “To you, caballeros, I have related the history of that session when we issued that O! so ridiculous commission. Of a truth our jest has been turned against us. Behold the Frankenstein’s monster we have created!”

Don Sabas half-turned and waved his hand, laughing loudly, at his fellow fugitives. “To you, gentlemen, I have shared the story of that meeting when we made that ridiculously amusing decision. Truly, our joke has come back to haunt us. Look at the monster we have created!”

Don Sabas glanced toward the shore. The lights of Coralio were drawing near. He could see the beach, the warehouse of the Bodega Nacional, the long, low cuartel occupied by the soldiers, and, behind that, gleaming in the moonlight, a stretch of high adobe wall. He had seen men stood with their faces to that wall and shot dead.

Don Sabas looked toward the shore. The lights of Coralio were coming closer. He could see the beach, the warehouse of the Bodega Nacional, the long, low cuartel where the soldiers were stationed, and behind that, shining in the moonlight, a tall adobe wall. He had seen men standing against that wall and getting shot.

Again he addressed the extravagant figure at the helm.

Again he spoke to the extravagant figure at the helm.

“It is true,” he said, “that I am fleeing the country. But, receive the assurance that I care very little for that. Courts and camps everywhere are open to Sabas Placido. Vaya! what is this molehill of a republic—this pig’s head of a country—to a man like me? I am a paisano of everywhere. In Rome, in London, in Paris, in Vienna, you will hear them say: ‘Welcome back, Don Sabas.’ Come!—tonto—baboon of a boy—admiral, whatever you call yourself, turn your boat. Put us on board the Salvador, and here is your pay—five hundred pesos in money of the Estados Unidos—more than your lying government will pay you in twenty years.”

“It’s true,” he said, “that I’m leaving the country. But believe me, I really don’t care. Courts and camps everywhere are open to Sabas Placido. Vaya! What is this tiny republic—this pathetic little country—to someone like me? I am a paisano everywhere. In Rome, in London, in Paris, in Vienna, you’ll hear them say: ‘Welcome back, Don Sabas.’ Come!—tonto—idiot boy—admiral, whatever you call yourself, turn your boat around. Put us on board the Salvador, and here’s your pay—five hundred pesos in United States money—more than your corrupt government will pay you in twenty years.”

Don Sabas pressed a plump purse against the youth’s hand. The admiral gave no heed to the words or the movement. Braced against the helm, he was holding the sloop dead on her shoreward course. His dull face was lit almost to intelligence by some inward conceit that seemed to afford him joy, and found utterance in another parrot-like cackle.

Don Sabas pressed a thick wallet into the young man's hand. The admiral didn’t pay any attention to the words or the motion. Leaning against the helm, he was steering the sloop directly toward the shore. His expression was blank, but there was a glimmer of cleverness in his eyes, likely from some personal thought that seemed to bring him happiness, which he expressed with another repetitive laugh.

“That is why they do it,” he said—“so that you will not see the guns. They fire—oom!—and you fall dead. With your face to the wall. Yes.”

“That's why they do it,” he said, “so that you won't see the guns. They shoot—boom!—and you drop dead. With your face against the wall. Yeah.”

The admiral called a sudden order to his crew. The lithe, silent Caribs made fast the sheets they held, and slipped down the hatchway into the hold of the sloop. When the last one had disappeared, Don Sabas, like a big, brown leopard, leaped forward, closed and fastened the hatch and stood, smiling.

The admiral gave a sudden order to his crew. The agile, quiet Caribs secured the sheets they had and quickly descended into the hold of the sloop. When the last one had vanished, Don Sabas, resembling a large, brown leopard, sprang forward, shut and locked the hatch, and stood there with a smile.

“No rifles, if you please, dear admiral,” he said. “It was a whimsey of mine once to compile a dictionary of the Carib lengua. So, I understood your order. Perhaps now you will—”

“No rifles, please, dear admiral,” he said. “I once had a whim to compile a dictionary of the Carib lengua. So, I understood your order. Perhaps now you will—”

He cut short his words, for he heard the dull “swish” of iron scraping along tin. The admiral had drawn the cutlass of Pedro Lafitte, and was darting upon him. The blade descended, and it was only by a display of surprising agility that the large man escaped, with only a bruised shoulder, the glancing weapon. He was drawing his pistol as he sprang, and the next instant he shot the admiral down.

He paused mid-sentence when he heard the dull “swish” of metal scraping against tin. The admiral had unsheathed Pedro Lafitte's cutlass and was charging at him. The blade came down, and it was only due to his remarkable agility that the big guy dodged it, sustaining just a bruised shoulder from the glancing blow. As he jumped, he pulled out his pistol, and in the next moment, he shot the admiral.

Don Sabas stooped over him, and rose again.

Don Sabas bent down towards him and then stood up again.

“In the heart,” he said briefly. “Señores, the navy is abolished.”

“In the heart,” he said briefly. “Gentlemen, the navy is abolished.”

Colonel Rafael sprang to the helm, and the other officer hastened to loose the mainsail sheets. The boom swung round; El Nacional veered and began to tack industriously for the Salvador.

Colonel Rafael jumped to the helm, and the other officer quickly went to release the mainsail sheets. The boom swung around; El Nacional turned and started to tack energetically for the Salvador.

“Strike that flag, señor,” called Colonel Rafael. “Our friends on the steamer will wonder why we are sailing under it.”

“Take down that flag, sir,” called Colonel Rafael. “Our friends on the steamer will be confused about why we're sailing under it.”

“Well said,” cried Don Sabas. Advancing to the mast he lowered the flag to the deck, where lay its too loyal supporter. Thus ended the Minister of War’s little piece of after-dinner drollery, and by the same hand that began it.

“Well said,” cried Don Sabas. Moving to the mast, he lowered the flag to the deck, where its overly loyal supporter lay. Thus ended the Minister of War’s little bit of after-dinner humor, by the same hand that started it.

Suddenly Don Sabas gave a great cry of joy, and ran down the slanting deck to the side of Colonel Rafael. Across his arm he carried the flag of the extinguished navy.

Suddenly, Don Sabas shouted with joy and ran down the sloping deck to Colonel Rafael's side. He carried the flag of the defunct navy across his arm.

Mire! mire! señor. Ah, Dios! Already can I hear that great bear of an Oestreicher shout, ‘Du hast mein herz gebrochen!’ Mire! Of my friend, Herr Grunitz, of Vienna, you have heard me relate. That man has travelled to Ceylon for an orchid—to Patagonia for a headdress—to Benares for a slipper—to Mozambique for a spearhead to add to his famous collections. Thou knowest, also, amigo Rafael, that I have been a gatherer of curios. My collection of battle flags of the world’s navies was the most complete in existence until last year. Then Herr Grunitz secured two, O! such rare specimens. One of a Barbary state, and one of the Makarooroos, a tribe on the west coast of Africa. I have not those, but they can be procured. But this flag, señor—do you know what it is? Name of God! do you know? See that red cross upon the blue and white ground! You never saw it before? Seguramente no. It is the naval flag of your country. Mire! This rotten tub we stand upon is its navy—that dead cockatoo lying there was its commander—that stroke of cutlass and single pistol shot a sea battle. All a piece of absurd foolery, I grant you—but authentic. There has never been another flag like this, and there never will be another. No. It is unique in the whole world. Yes. Think of what that means to a collector of flags! Do you know, Coronel mio, how many golden crowns Herr Grunitz would give for this flag? Ten thousand, likely. Well, a hundred thousand would not buy it. Beautiful flag! Only flag! Little devil of a most heaven-born flag! O-hé! old grumbler beyond the ocean. Wait till Don Sabas comes again to the Königin Strasse. He will let you kneel and touch the folds of it with one finger. O-hé! old spectacled ransacker of the world!”

Look! Look! Sir. Ah, God! I can already hear that big bear of an Oestreicher shout, ‘You’ve broken my heart!’ Look! You’ve heard me talk about my friend, Herr Grunitz, from Vienna. That guy has traveled to Ceylon for an orchid—to Patagonia for a headdress—to Benares for a slipper—to Mozambique for a spearhead to add to his famous collections. You also know, friend Rafael, that I’ve been a collector of curiosities. My collection of battle flags from the world’s navies was the most complete in existence until last year. Then Herr Grunitz managed to get two, oh! such rare specimens. One from a Barbary state, and one from the Makarooroos, a tribe on the west coast of Africa. I don’t have those, but they can be found. But this flag, sir—do you know what it is? Good God! Do you know? Look at that red cross on the blue and white background! You've never seen it before? Surely not. It’s the naval flag of your country. Look! This old tub we’re standing on is its navy—that dead cockatoo lying there was its commander—that cutlass strike and single gunshot represent a sea battle. It’s all a piece of ridiculous nonsense, I agree—but it’s real. There has never been another flag like this, and there never will be. No. It’s unique in the whole world. Yes. Think about what that means to a flag collector! Do you know, my Colonel, how many golden crowns Herr Grunitz would pay for this flag? Likely ten thousand. Well, a hundred thousand wouldn’t buy it. Beautiful flag! The only flag! Little devil of a most heavenly flag! Oh hey! you old grumbler across the ocean. Wait until Don Sabas comes back to Königin Strasse. He’ll let you kneel and touch its folds with one finger. Oh hey! you old spectacled treasure hunter of the world!”

Forgotten was the impotent revolution, the danger, the loss, the gall of defeat. Possessed solely by the inordinate and unparalleled passion of the collector, he strode up and down the little deck, clasping to his breast with one hand the paragon of a flag. He snapped his fingers triumphantly toward the east. He shouted the paean to his prize in trumpet tones, as though he would make old Grunitz hear in his musty den beyond the sea.

Forgotten was the powerless revolution, the threat, the loss, the bitterness of defeat. Driven only by the intense and unmatched passion of the collector, he paced back and forth on the small deck, holding the perfect flag tightly to his chest with one hand. He snapped his fingers triumphantly toward the east. He shouted praises for his prize in loud tones, as if he wanted to make old Grunitz hear him in his dusty den across the sea.

They were waiting, on the Salvador, to welcome them. The sloop came close alongside the steamer where her sides were sliced almost to the lower deck for the loading of fruit. The sailors of the Salvador grappled and held her there.

They were waiting on the Salvador to welcome them. The sloop came right up next to the steamer, where her sides were cut nearly down to the lower deck for loading fruit. The sailors on the Salvador grabbed onto her and held her in place.

Captain McLeod leaned over the side.

Captain McLeod leaned over the edge.

“Well, señor, the jig is up, I’m told.”

“Well, sir, I hear the gig is up.”

“The jig is up?” Don Sabas looked perplexed for a moment. “That revolution—ah, yes!” With a shrug of his shoulders he dismissed the matter.

“The jig is up?” Don Sabas looked confused for a moment. “That revolution—oh, right!” With a shrug of his shoulders, he brushed off the issue.

The captain learned of the escape and the imprisoned crew.

The captain found out about the escape and the crew that was locked up.

“Caribs?” he said; “no harm in them.” He slipped down into the sloop and kicked loose the hasp of the hatch. The black fellows came tumbling up, sweating but grinning.

“Caribs?” he said; “no harm in them.” He climbed down into the sloop and kicked open the latch of the hatch. The Black guys came tumbling up, sweating but smiling.

“Hey! black boys!” said the captain, in a dialect of his own; “you sabe, catchy boat and vamos back same place quick.”

“Hey! Black guys!” said the captain, in his own way; “You understand, grab the boat and let’s get back to the same place quickly.”

They saw him point to themselves, the sloop and Coralio. “Yas, yas!” they cried, with broader grins and many nods.

They saw him point to them, the sloop, and Coralio. “Yeah, yeah!” they exclaimed, grinning wider and nodding a lot.

The four—Don Sabas, the two officers and the captain—moved to quit the sloop. Don Sabas lagged a little behind, looking at the still form of the late admiral, sprawled in his paltry trappings.

The four—Don Sabas, the two officers, and the captain—got ready to leave the sloop. Don Sabas fell slightly behind, gazing at the lifeless body of the late admiral, spread out in his shabby gear.

Pobrecito loco,” he said softly.

"Pobrecito loco," he said softly.

He was a brilliant cosmopolite and a cognoscente of high rank; but, after all, he was of the same race and blood and instinct as this people. Even as the simple paisanos of Coralio had said it, so said Don Sabas. Without a smile, he looked, and said, “The poor little crazed one!”

He was a brilliant cosmopolitan and a high-ranking expert; but in the end, he was of the same race, blood, and instinct as this people. Just as the simple locals of Coralio had said it, so did Don Sabas. Without a smile, he looked and said, “The poor little crazy one!”

Stooping he raised the limp shoulders, drew the priceless and induplicable flag under them and over the breast, pinning it there with the diamond star of the Order of San Carlos that he took from the collar of his own coat.

Stooping down, he lifted the sagging shoulders, pulled the priceless and unique flag under them and over the chest, securing it there with the diamond star of the Order of San Carlos that he took from the collar of his own coat.

He followed after the others, and stood with them upon the deck of the Salvador. The sailors that steadied El Nacional shoved her off. The jabbering Caribs hauled away at the rigging; the sloop headed for the shore.

He followed the others and stood with them on the deck of the Salvador. The sailors who held El Nacional steady pushed her away. The chattering Caribs worked on the rigging; the sloop headed for the shore.

And Herr Grunitz’s collection of naval flags was still the finest in the world.

And Mr. Grunitz’s collection of naval flags was still the best in the world.

X
THE SHAMROCK AND THE PALM

One night when there was no breeze, and Coralio seemed closer than ever to the gratings of Avernus, five men were grouped about the door of the photograph establishment of Keogh and Clancy. Thus, in all the scorched and exotic places of the earth, Caucasians meet when the day’s work is done to preserve the fulness of their heritage by the aspersion of alien things.

One night when there was no breeze, and Coralio felt closer than ever to the gates of hell, five men were gathered around the door of the photo shop run by Keogh and Clancy. In all the hot and unusual places on earth, white people come together after work to hold onto their culture by mixing in foreign things.

Johnny Atwood lay stretched upon the grass in the undress uniform of a Carib, and prated feebly of cool water to be had in the cucumber-wood pumps of Dalesburg. Dr. Gregg, through the prestige of his whiskers and as a bribe against the relation of his imminent professional tales, was conceded the hammock that was swung between the door jamb and a calabash-tree. Keogh had moved out upon the grass a little table that held the instrument for burnishing completed photographs. He was the only busy one of the group. Industriously from between the cylinders of the burnisher rolled the finished depictments of Coralio’s citizens. Blanchard, the French mining engineer, in his cool linen viewed the smoke of his cigarette through his calm glasses, impervious to the heat. Clancy sat on the steps, smoking his short pipe. His mood was the gossip’s; the others were reduced, by the humidity, to the state of disability desirable in an audience.

Johnny Atwood lay stretched out on the grass in the relaxed uniform of a Carib, and weakly talked about the cool water available in the cucumber-wood pumps of Dalesburg. Dr. Gregg, with the authority of his whiskers and as a bribe to prevent the sharing of his soon-to-be-told professional stories, was given the hammock that hung between the door frame and a calabash tree. Keogh had set up a small table on the grass that held the machine for polishing finished photographs. He was the only one working in the group. From between the rollers of the burnisher, the completed images of Coralio’s residents rolled out. Blanchard, the French mining engineer, in his light linen, viewed the smoke from his cigarette through his calm glasses, unaffected by the heat. Clancy sat on the steps, smoking his short pipe. He was in a gossiping mood while the others, due to the humidity, were reduced to a state of lethargy appropriate for an audience.

Clancy was an American with an Irish diathesis and cosmopolitan proclivities. Many businesses had claimed him, but not for long. The roadster’s blood was in his veins. The voice of the tintype was but one of the many callings that had wooed him upon so many roads. Sometimes he could be persuaded to oral construction of his voyages into the informal and egregious. To-night there were symptoms of divulgement in him.

Clancy was an American with Irish roots and a worldly outlook. Many businesses claimed him, but not for long. The thrill of the open road was in his blood. The appeal of photography was just one of the many interests that had drawn him down countless paths. Sometimes he could be convinced to share stories about his travels in a casual and exaggerated way. Tonight, there were signs that he was ready to share more.

“’Tis elegant weather for filibusterin’,” he volunteered. “It reminds me of the time I struggled to liberate a nation from the poisonous breath of a tyrant’s clutch. ’Twas hard work. ’Tis strainin’ to the back and makes corns on the hands.”

“It’s perfect weather for filibustering,” he said. “It reminds me of the time I fought to free a nation from the toxic grip of a tyrant. It was tough work. It strains your back and gives you blisters on your hands.”

“I didn’t know you had ever lent your sword to an oppressed people,” murmured Atwood, from the grass.

“I didn’t know you ever lent your sword to an oppressed people,” murmured Atwood, from the grass.

“I did,” said Clancy; “and they turned it into a ploughshare.”

“I did,” Clancy said; “and they turned it into a plowshare.”

“What country was so fortunate as to secure your aid?” airily inquired Blanchard.

“What country was lucky enough to get your help?” Blanchard asked casually.

“Where’s Kamchatka?” asked Clancy, with seeming irrelevance.

“Where’s Kamchatka?” Clancy asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Why, off Siberia somewhere in the Arctic regions,” somebody answered, doubtfully.

“Um, somewhere off Siberia in the Arctic regions,” someone replied, unsure.

“I thought that was the cold one,” said Clancy, with a satisfied nod. “I’m always gettin’ the two names mixed. ’Twas Guatemala, then—the hot one—I’ve been filibusterin’ with. Ye’ll find that country on the map. ’Tis in the district known as the tropics. By the foresight of Providence, it lies on the coast so the geography man could run the names of the towns off into the water. They’re an inch long, small type, composed of Spanish dialects, and, ’tis my opinion, of the same system of syntax that blew up the Maine. Yes, ’twas that country I sailed against, single-handed, and endeavoured to liberate it from a tyrannical government with a single-barreled pickaxe, unloaded at that. Ye don’t understand, of course. ’Tis a statement demandin’ elucidation and apologies.

“I thought that was the cold one,” said Clancy, with a satisfied nod. “I always mix the two names up. It was Guatemala, then—the hot one—I’ve been talking about. You can find that country on the map. It’s in the area known as the tropics. By the foresight of Providence, it’s on the coast, so the geography guy could just list the names of the towns into the water. They’re an inch long, in small print, made up of Spanish dialects, and, in my opinion, follow the same grammar rules that blew up the Maine. Yes, that was the country I sailed against, all by myself, and tried to free it from a tyrannical government with a single-barreled pickaxe, and it wasn’t even loaded. You don’t understand, of course. That’s a statement that needs clarification and apologies.”

“’Twas in New Orleans one morning about the first of June; I was standin’ down on the wharf, lookin’ about at the ships in the river. There was a little steamer moored right opposite me that seemed about ready to sail. The funnels of it were throwin’ out smoke, and a gang of roustabouts were carryin’ aboard a pile of boxes that was stacked up on the wharf. The boxes were about two feet square, and somethin’ like four feet long, and they seemed to be pretty heavy.

“It was in New Orleans one morning around the beginning of June; I was standing down by the wharf, looking at the ships in the river. There was a small steamer docked right across from me that looked like it was about to leave. Its smokestacks were puffing out smoke, and a group of dock workers were loading a bunch of boxes stacked up on the wharf. The boxes were about two feet square and around four feet long, and they seemed pretty heavy.”

“I walked over, careless, to the stack of boxes. I saw one of them had been broken in handlin’. ’Twas curiosity made me pull up the loose top and look inside. The box was packed full of Winchester rifles. ‘So, so,’ says I to myself; ‘somebody’s gettin’ a twist on the neutrality laws. Somebody’s aidin’ with munitions of war. I wonder where the popguns are goin’?’

“I walked over, casually, to the stack of boxes. I noticed one of them was damaged from handling. My curiosity got the best of me, so I lifted the loose top and looked inside. The box was filled with Winchester rifles. ‘Well, well,’ I thought to myself; ‘someone’s bending the neutrality laws. Someone’s supplying weapons for war. I wonder where these guns are headed?’”

“I heard somebody cough, and I turned around. There stood a little, round, fat man with a brown face and white clothes, a first-class-looking little man, with a four-karat diamond on his finger and his eye full of interrogations and respects. I judged he was a kind of foreigner—may be from Russia or Japan or the archipelagoes.

“I heard someone cough, and I turned around. There was a small, plump man with a brown face and white clothes, a really sharp-looking guy, wearing a four-carat diamond on his finger and his eyes full of questions and respect. I figured he was some kind of foreigner—maybe from Russia or Japan or one of the islands.”

“‘Hist!’ says the round man, full of concealments and confidences. ‘Will the señor respect the discoveryments he has made, that the mans on the ship shall not be acquaint? The señor will be a gentleman that shall not expose one thing that by accident occur.’

“‘Hold on!’ says the round man, full of secrets and trust. ‘Will the gentleman keep to himself the discoveries he has made, so that the men on the ship won’t find out? The gentleman should be someone who doesn’t reveal anything that happens by accident.’”

“‘Monseer,’ says I—for I judged him to be a kind of Frenchman—‘receive my most exasperated assurances that your secret is safe with James Clancy. Furthermore, I will go so far as to remark, Veev la Liberty—veev it good and strong. Whenever you hear of a Clancy obstructin’ the abolishment of existin’ governments you may notify me by return mail.’

“‘Mister,’ I said—since I figured he was some kind of Frenchman—‘you have my absolute assurance that your secret is safe with James Clancy. Also, I’ll take it a step further and say, Long live Liberty—long live it strong and proud. Whenever you hear of a Clancy getting in the way of getting rid of existing governments, you can let me know by return mail.’”

“‘The señor is good,’ says the dark, fat man, smilin’ under his black mustache. ‘Wish you to come aboard my ship and drink of wine a glass.’

“‘The guy is nice,’ says the dark, heavyset man, smiling under his black mustache. ‘I’d like you to come aboard my ship and have a glass of wine.’”

“Bein’ a Clancy, in two minutes me and the foreigner man were seated at a table in the cabin of the steamer, with a bottle between us. I could hear the heavy boxes bein’ dumped into the hold. I judged that cargo must consist of at least 2,000 Winchesters. Me and the brown man drank the bottle of stuff, and he called the steward to bring another. When you amalgamate a Clancy with the contents of a bottle you practically instigate secession. I had heard a good deal about these revolutions in them tropical localities, and I begun to want a hand in it.

“Being a Clancy, in two minutes the foreign guy and I were seated at a table in the cabin of the steamer, with a bottle between us. I could hear the heavy boxes being dumped into the hold. I figured that cargo must include at least 2,000 Winchesters. The brown guy and I drank the bottle of stuff, and he called the steward to bring another. When you mix a Clancy with the contents of a bottle, you basically spark a rebellion. I had heard a lot about these revolutions in those tropical areas, and I started to want to be a part of it.”

“‘You goin’ to stir things up in your country, ain’t you, monseer?’ says I, with a wink to let him know I was on.

“‘You’re going to shake things up in your country, right, mister?’ I said, giving him a wink to show I was in on it.”

“‘Yes, yes,’ said the little man, pounding his fist on the table. ‘A change of the greatest will occur. Too long have the people been oppressed with the promises and the never-to-happen things to become. The great work it shall be carry on. Yes. Our forces shall in the capital city strike of the soonest. Carrambos!

“‘Yes, yes,’ said the little man, banging his fist on the table. ‘A huge change is coming. The people have been oppressed for too long by empty promises and things that never happen. The great work will continue. Yes. Our forces will strike in the capital city as soon as possible. Carrambos!’”

“‘Carrambos is the word,’ says I, beginning to invest myself with enthusiasm and more wine, ‘likewise veeva, as I said before. May the shamrock of old—I mean the banana-vine or the pie-plant, or whatever the imperial emblem may be of your down-trodden country, wave forever.’

“‘Carrambos is the word,’ I said, starting to get more into it with enthusiasm and more wine, ‘also veeva, as I mentioned before. May the shamrock of old—I mean the banana-vine or the pie-plant, or whatever the national symbol of your oppressed country is—wave forever.’”

“‘A thousand thank-yous,’ says the round man, ‘for your emission of amicable utterances. What our cause needs of the very most is mans who will the work do, to lift it along. Oh, for one thousands strong, good mans to aid the General De Vega that he shall to his country bring those success and glory! It is hard—oh, so hard to find good mans to help in the work.’

“‘A thousand thank-yous,’ says the round man, ‘for your friendly words. What our cause needs most is men who will do the work to help it succeed. Oh, for a thousand strong, good men to support General De Vega so he can bring success and glory to his country! It is difficult—oh, so difficult to find good men to help with the work.’”

“‘Monseer,’ says I, leanin’ over the table and graspin’ his hand, ‘I don’t know where your country is, but me heart bleeds for it. The heart of a Clancy was never deaf to the sight of an oppressed people. The family is filibusterers by birth, and foreigners by trade. If you can use James Clancy’s arms and his blood in denudin’ your shores of the tyrant’s yoke they’re yours to command.’

“‘Mister,’ I said, leaning over the table and taking his hand, ‘I don't know where your country is, but my heart aches for it. A Clancy's heart has never turned deaf to the suffering of oppressed people. Our family has been rebels by birth and outsiders by trade. If you can make use of James Clancy's strength and blood to free your land from the oppressor's grip, they are yours to command.’”

“General De Vega was overcome with joy to confiscate my condolence of his conspiracies and predicaments. He tried to embrace me across the table, but his fatness, and the wine that had been in the bottles, prevented. Thus was I welcomed into the ranks of filibustery. Then the general man told me his country had the name of Guatemala, and was the greatest nation laved by any ocean whatever anywhere. He looked at me with tears in his eyes, and from time to time he would emit the remark, ‘Ah! big, strong, brave mans! That is what my country need.’

“General De Vega was filled with joy to accept my sympathy for his schemes and troubles. He tried to hug me across the table, but his size and the wine from the bottles got in the way. Thus, I was welcomed into the ranks of piracy. The general then told me his country was called Guatemala and was the greatest nation touched by any ocean anywhere. He looked at me with tears in his eyes, and from time to time, he would say, ‘Ah! big, strong, brave men! That is what my country needs.’”

“General De Vega, as was the name by which he denounced himself, brought out a document for me to sign, which I did, makin’ a fine flourish and curlycue with the tail of the ‘y.’

“General De Vega, as he called himself, handed me a document to sign, which I did, adding a nice flourish and curlycue with the tail of the ‘y.’

“‘Your passage-money,’ says the general, business-like, ‘shall from your pay be deduct.’

“‘Your passage money,’ says the general, in a business-like manner, ‘will be deducted from your pay.’”

“’Twill not,’ says I, haughty. ‘I’ll pay my own passage.’ A hundred and eighty dollars I had in my inside pocket, and ’twas no common filibuster I was goin’ to be, filibusterin’ for me board and clothes.

“Won't happen,” I said, arrogantly. “I’ll pay for my own fare.” I had a hundred and eighty dollars in my inside pocket, and I wasn’t about to be some run-of-the-mill filibuster, fighting just for my food and clothes.

“The steamer was to sail in two hours, and I went ashore to get some things together I’d need. When I came aboard I showed the general with pride the outfit. ’Twas a fine Chinchilla overcoat, Arctic overshoes, fur cap and earmuffs, with elegant fleece-lined gloves and woolen muffler.

“The steamer was set to sail in two hours, so I went ashore to gather some things I’d need. When I got back on board, I proudly showed the general my outfit. It was a nice Chinchilla overcoat, Arctic overshoes, a fur cap and earmuffs, along with stylish fleece-lined gloves and a woolen scarf.”

“‘Carrambos!’ says the little general. ‘What clothes are these that shall go to the tropic?’ And then the little spalpeen laughs, and he calls the captain, and the captain calls the purser, and they pipe up the chief engineer, and the whole gang leans against the cabin and laughs at Clancy’s wardrobe for Guatemala.

“‘Carrambos!’ says the little general. ‘What clothes are these that will go to the tropics?’ Then the little rascal laughs, calls the captain, who calls the purser, and they summon the chief engineer. The whole group leans against the cabin and laughs at Clancy’s outfit for Guatemala.”

“I reflects a bit, serious, and asks the general again to denominate the terms by which his country is called. He tells me, and I see then that ’twas the t’other one, Kamchatka, I had in mind. Since then I’ve had difficulty in separatin’ the two nations in name, climate and geographic disposition.

“I reflect for a moment, feeling serious, and ask the general again to clarify the name of his country. He tells me, and I realize then that it was the other one, Kamchatka, I was thinking of. Since then, I’ve struggled to differentiate between the two nations in terms of name, climate, and geographical layout.

“I paid my passage—twenty-four dollars, first cabin—and ate at table with the officer crowd. Down on the lower deck was a gang of second-class passengers, about forty of them, seemin’ to be Dagoes and the like. I wondered what so many of them were goin’ along for.

“I paid for my ticket—twenty-four dollars for first class—and ate at the table with the officers. Down on the lower deck was a group of about forty second-class passengers, mostly seeming to be Italians and others like them. I was curious about why so many of them were traveling along.”

“Well, then, in three days we sailed alongside that Guatemala. ’Twas a blue country, and not yellow as ’tis miscolored on the map. We landed at a town on the coast, where a train of cars was waitin’ for us on a dinky little railroad. The boxes on the steamer were brought ashore and loaded on the cars. The gang of Dagoes got aboard, too, the general and me in the front car. Yes, me and General De Vega headed the revolution, as it pulled out of the seaport town. That train travelled about as fast as a policeman goin’ to a riot. It penetrated the most conspicuous lot of fuzzy scenery ever seen outside a geography. We run some forty miles in seven hours, and the train stopped. There was no more railroad. ’Twas a sort of camp in a damp gorge full of wildness and melancholies. They was gradin’ and choppin’ out the forests ahead to continue the road. ‘Here,’ says I to myself, ‘is the romantic haunt of the revolutionists. Here will Clancy, by the virtue that is in a superior race and the inculcation of Fenian tactics, strike a tremendous blow for liberty.’

“Well, then, in three days we sailed alongside Guatemala. It was a blue country, not yellow like it’s miscolored on the map. We landed at a coastal town, where a small train was waiting for us on a tiny railroad. The boxes from the steamer were brought ashore and loaded onto the cars. The group of workers got on too, with the general and me in the front car. Yes, me and General De Vega were leading the revolution as it pulled out of the seaport town. That train moved about as fast as a cop responding to a riot. It went through the most striking landscape you’d ever see outside a geography book. We traveled forty miles in seven hours, and then the train stopped. There was no more railroad. It was like a camp in a damp gorge full of wilderness and melancholy. They were grading and clearing the forests ahead to continue the road. ‘Here,’ I thought to myself, ‘is the romantic hideout of the revolutionaries. Here will Clancy, through the strength of a superior race and the teachings of Fenian tactics, deliver a powerful blow for liberty.’”

“They unloaded the boxes from the train and begun to knock the tops off. From the first one that was open I saw General De Vega take the Winchester rifles and pass them around to a squad of morbid soldiery. The other boxes was opened next, and, believe me or not, divil another gun was to be seen. Every other box in the load was full of pickaxes and spades.

“They unloaded the boxes from the train and started to knock the tops off. From the first one that was opened, I saw General De Vega take the Winchester rifles and pass them around to a squad of grim soldiers. The other boxes were opened next, and believe it or not, there wasn’t another gun to be seen. Every other box in the load was filled with pickaxes and shovels."

“And then—sorrow be upon them tropics—the proud Clancy and the dishonoured Dagoes, each one of them, had to shoulder a pick or a spade, and march away to work on that dirty little railroad. Yes; ’twas that the Dagoes shipped for, and ’twas that the filibusterin’ Clancy signed for, though unbeknownst to himself at the time. In after days I found out about it. It seems ’twas hard to get hands to work on that road. The intelligent natives of the country was too lazy to work. Indeed, the saints know, ’twas unnecessary. By stretchin’ out one hand, they could seize the most delicate and costly fruits of the earth, and, by stretchin’ out the other, they could sleep for days at a time without hearin’ a seven-o’clock whistle or the footsteps of the rent man upon the stairs. So, regular, the steamers travelled to the United States to seduce labour. Usually the imported spade-slingers died in two or three months from eatin’ the over-ripe water and breathin’ the violent tropical scenery. Wherefore they made them sign contracts for a year, when they hired them, and put an armed guard over the poor divils to keep them from runnin’ away.

“And then—sorrow be upon those tropics—the proud Clancy and the dishonored Dagoes, each one of them, had to pick up a shovel or a spade and go off to work on that filthy little railroad. Yes; that’s what the Dagoes signed up for, and that’s what the filibustering Clancy agreed to, though he didn’t realize it at the time. Later, I found out about it. It turns out it was hard to find people to work on that road. The smart locals were too lazy to put in the effort. Indeed, the saints know, it was unnecessary. By reaching out one hand, they could grab the most delicate and expensive fruits of the earth, and by reaching out the other, they could sleep for days without hearing a seven o'clock whistle or the footsteps of the landlord on the stairs. So regularly, the steamers sailed to the United States to entice labor. Usually, the imported workers died within two or three months from eating the overripe fruit and breathing in the harsh tropical surroundings. So, they made them sign contracts for a year when they hired them and put an armed guard over the poor souls to stop them from running away.

“’Twas thus I was double-crossed by the tropics through a family failin’ of goin’ out of the way to hunt disturbances.

“That's how I was betrayed by the tropics because my family went out of their way to seek out trouble.

“They gave me a pick, and I took it, meditatin’ an insurrection on the spot; but there was the guards handlin’ the Winchesters careless, and I come to the conclusion that discretion was the best part of filibusterin’. There was about a hundred of us in the gang startin’ out to work, and the word was given to move. I steps out of the ranks and goes up to that General De Vega man, who was smokin’ a cigar and gazin’ upon the scene with satisfactions and glory. He smiles at me polite and devilish. ‘Plenty work,’ says he, ‘for big, strong mans in Guatemala. Yes. T’irty dollars in the month. Good pay. Ah, yes. You strong, brave man. Bimeby we push those railroad in the capital very quick. They want you go work now. Adios, strong mans.’

“They gave me a pick, and I took it, thinking about starting a rebellion right then; but the guards were handling the Winchesters recklessly, and I realized that it was better to play it safe. There were about a hundred of us in the gang getting ready to move, and the word was given to go. I stepped out of the ranks and approached that General De Vega guy, who was smoking a cigar and watching the scene with satisfaction and pride. He smiled at me politely and devilishly. ‘There’s plenty of work,’ he said, ‘for big, strong men in Guatemala. Yes. Thirty dollars a month. Good pay. Ah, yes. You’re a strong, brave man. Soon we’ll push that railroad in the capital very quickly. They want you to go work now. Adios, strong men.’”

“‘Monseer,’ says I, lingerin’, ‘will you tell a poor little Irishman this: When I set foot on your cockroachy steamer, and breathed liberal and revolutionary sentiments into your sour wine, did you think I was conspirin’ to sling a pick on your contemptuous little railroad? And when you answered me with patriotic recitations, humping up the star-spangled cause of liberty, did you have meditations of reducin’ me to the ranks of the stump-grubbin’ Dagoes in the chain-gangs of your vile and grovelin’ country?’

“‘Sir,’ I said, lingering a bit, ‘could you let a poor little Irishman know this: When I stepped onto your cockroach-infested steamer and shared some bold and revolutionary ideas over your sour wine, did you think I was plotting to sabotage your contemptible little railroad? And when you replied with patriotic speeches, boosting the star-spangled cause of freedom, were you secretly planning to reduce me to the level of the unfortunate laborers in the chain gangs of your vile and degrading country?’”

“The general man expanded his rotundity and laughed considerable. Yes, he laughed very long and loud, and I, Clancy, stood and waited.

“The average guy puffed up his belly and laughed a lot. Yes, he laughed really long and loud, and I, Clancy, stood there and waited.”

“‘Comical mans!’ he shouts, at last. ‘So you will kill me from the laughing. Yes; it is hard to find the brave, strong mans to aid my country. Revolutions? Did I speak of r-r-revolutions? Not one word. I say, big, strong mans is need in Guatemala. So. The mistake is of you. You have looked in those one box containing those gun for the guard. You think all boxes is contain gun? No.

“‘Funny guys!’ he yells finally. ‘So you think you’ll kill me with laughter. Yes; it’s hard to find brave, strong men to help my country. Revolutions? Did I mention revolutions? Not one word. I’m saying, big, strong men are needed in Guatemala. So. The mistake is yours. You’ve looked in that one box with the gun for the guard. You think all boxes contain guns? No.

“‘There is not war in Guatemala. But work? Yes. Good. T’irty dollar in the month. You shall shoulder one pickaxe, señor, and dig for the liberty and prosperity of Guatemala. Off to your work. The guard waits for you.’

“‘There's no war in Guatemala. But work? Yes. Good. Thirty dollars a month. You’ll take a pickaxe, sir, and dig for the freedom and prosperity of Guatemala. Get to work. The guard is waiting for you.’”

“‘Little, fat, poodle dog of a brown man,’ says I, quiet, but full of indignations and discomforts, ‘things shall happen to you. Maybe not right away, but as soon as J. Clancy can formulate somethin’ in the way of repartee.’

“‘Little, chubby, poodle-like brown man,’ I said quietly, but full of indignation and discomfort, ‘things are going to happen to you. Maybe not immediately, but as soon as J. Clancy can come up with something in the way of a comeback.’”

“The boss of the gang orders us to work. I tramps off with the Dagoes, and I hears the distinguished patriot and kidnapper laughin’ hearty as we go.

“The boss of the gang tells us to get to work. I head off with the Dagoes, and I hear the well-known patriot and kidnapper laughing loudly as we leave.

“’Tis a sorrowful fact, for eight weeks I built railroads for that misbehavin’ country. I filibustered twelve hours a day with a heavy pick and a spade, choppin’ away the luxurious landscape that grew upon the right of way. We worked in swamps that smelled like there was a leak in the gas mains, trampin’ down a fine assortment of the most expensive hothouse plants and vegetables. The scene was tropical beyond the wildest imagination of the geography man. The trees was all sky-scrapers; the underbrush was full of needles and pins; there was monkeys jumpin’ around and crocodiles and pink-tailed mockin’-birds, and ye stood knee-deep in the rotten water and grabbled roots for the liberation of Guatemala. Of nights we would build smudges in camp to discourage the mosquitoes, and sit in the smoke, with the guards pacin’ all around us. There was two hundred men workin’ on the road—mostly Dagoes, nigger-men, Spanish-men and Swedes. Three or four were Irish.

“It’s a sad fact, but for eight weeks I built railroads for that troublemaking country. I labored twelve hours a day with a heavy pick and a shovel, tearing away the beautiful landscape that grew along the right of way. We worked in swamps that smelled like there was a gas leak, trampling down an impressive variety of expensive greenhouse plants and vegetables. The scene was more tropical than anything the geography experts could imagine. The trees were like skyscrapers; the underbrush was full of needles and thorns; there were monkeys jumping around, crocodiles, and pink-tailed mockingbirds, and you stood knee-deep in the murky water, grabbing roots for the liberation of Guatemala. At night we would build smudges in camp to keep the mosquitoes away and sit in the smoke, with the guards pacing all around us. There were two hundred men working on the road—mostly Italians, Black men, Spanish men, and Swedes. Three or four were Irish.”

“One old man named Halloran—a man of Hibernian entitlements and discretions, explained it to me. He had been workin’ on the road a year. Most of them died in less than six months. He was dried up to gristle and bone, and shook with chills every third night.

“One old man named Halloran—a man of Irish background and careful ways—explained it to me. He had been working on the road for a year. Most of them died in less than six months. He was skin and bones and shook with chills every third night.

“‘When you first come,’ says he, ‘ye think ye’ll leave right away. But they hold out your first month’s pay for your passage over, and by that time the tropics has its grip on ye. Ye’re surrounded by a ragin’ forest full of disreputable beasts—lions and baboons and anacondas—waitin’ to devour ye. The sun strikes ye hard, and melts the marrow in your bones. Ye get similar to the lettuce-eaters the poetry-book speaks about. Ye forget the elevated sintiments of life, such as patriotism, revenge, disturbances of the peace and the dacint love of a clane shirt. Ye do your work, and ye swallow the kerosene ile and rubber pipestems dished up to ye by the Dago cook for food. Ye light your pipeful, and say to yoursilf, “Nixt week I’ll break away,” and ye go to sleep and call yersilf a liar, for ye know ye’ll never do it.’

“‘When you first arrive,’ he says, ‘you think you’ll leave right away. But they hold back your first month's pay for your passage over, and by then the tropics have their hold on you. You’re surrounded by a raging jungle full of sketchy creatures—lions, baboons, and anacondas—waiting to eat you. The sun hits you hard and melts the marrow in your bones. You become similar to the lettuce-eaters the poetry book talks about. You forget the lofty sentiments of life, like patriotism, revenge, breaking the peace, and the decent love of a clean shirt. You do your job, and you swallow the kerosene and rubber pipes served to you by the Italian cook for food. You light up your pipe and tell yourself, “Next week I’ll break free,” and you fall asleep, calling yourself a liar, because deep down you know you’ll never do it.’”

“‘Who is this general man,’ asks I, ‘that calls himself De Vega?’

“‘Who is this guy,’ I ask, ‘that calls himself De Vega?’”

“‘’Tis the man,’ says Halloran, ‘who is tryin’ to complete the finishin’ of the railroad. ’Twas the project of a private corporation, but it busted, and then the government took it up. De Vegy is a big politician, and wants to be prisident. The people want the railroad completed, as they’re taxed mighty on account of it. The De Vegy man is pushin’ it along as a campaign move.’

“‘It’s the man,’ says Halloran, ‘who is trying to finish the railroad. It was a project of a private company, but it failed, and then the government took it over. De Vegy is a big politician who wants to be president. The people want the railroad finished since they’re being heavily taxed for it. The De Vegy guy is promoting it as a campaign tactic.’”

“‘’Tis not my way,’ says I, ‘to make threats against any man, but there’s an account to be settled between the railroad man and James O’Dowd Clancy.’

“It's not my style,” I said, “to threaten anyone, but there’s a score to settle between the railroad guy and James O’Dowd Clancy.”

“‘’Twas that way I thought, mesilf, at first,’ Halloran says, with a big sigh, ‘until I got to be a lettuce-eater. The fault’s wid these tropics. They rejuices a man’s system. ’Tis a land, as the poet says, “Where it always seems to be after dinner.” I does me work and smokes me pipe and sleeps. There’s little else in life, anyway. Ye’ll get that way yersilf, mighty soon. Don’t be harbourin’ any sintiments at all, Clancy.’

“‘That’s how I thought, myself, at first,’ Halloran says with a big sigh, ‘until I became a lettuce-eater. The problem’s with these tropics. They refresh a man’s system. It’s a place, as the poet says, “Where it always seems to be after dinner.” I do my work, smoke my pipe, and sleep. There’s not much else in life, really. You’ll get that way yourself, pretty soon. Don’t hold onto any sentiments at all, Clancy.’”

“‘I can’t help it,’ says I; ‘I’m full of ’em. I enlisted in the revolutionary army of this dark country in good faith to fight for its liberty, honours and silver candlesticks; instead of which I am set to amputatin’ its scenery and grubbin’ its roots. ’Tis the general man will have to pay for it.’

“'I can't help it,' I say; 'I'm full of them. I joined the revolutionary army of this troubled country in good faith to fight for its freedom, honor, and silver candlesticks; instead, I'm stuck cutting down its trees and digging up its roots. It'll be the average person who pays for it.'”

“Two months I worked on that railroad before I found a chance to get away. One day a gang of us was sent back to the end of the completed line to fetch some picks that had been sent down to Port Barrios to be sharpened. They were brought on a hand-car, and I noticed, when I started away, that the car was left there on the track.

“Two months I worked on that railroad before I found a chance to escape. One day, a group of us was sent back to the end of the completed line to grab some picks that had been sent down to Port Barrios to be sharpened. They were brought on a handcar, and I noticed, when I started to leave, that the car was left there on the track.”

“That night, about twelve, I woke up Halloran and told him my scheme.

“That night, around midnight, I woke up Halloran and shared my plan with him.

“‘Run away?’ says Halloran. ‘Good Lord, Clancy, do ye mean it? Why, I ain’t got the nerve. It’s too chilly, and I ain’t slept enough. Run away? I told you, Clancy, I’ve eat the lettuce. I’ve lost my grip. ’Tis the tropics that’s done it. ’Tis like the poet says: “Forgotten are our friends that we have left behind; in the hollow lettuce-land we will live and lay reclined.” You better go on, Clancy. I’ll stay, I guess. It’s too early and cold, and I’m sleepy.’

“‘Run away?’ Halloran replies. ‘Good Lord, Clancy, do you really mean it? I just don’t have the guts. It’s too chilly, and I haven’t slept enough. Run away? I told you, Clancy, I’ve eaten the lettuce. I’ve lost my grip. It’s the tropics that have done it. It’s like the poet says: “Forgotten are our friends that we have left behind; in the hollow lettuce-land we will live and lay reclined.” You’d better go on, Clancy. I’ll stay, I guess. It’s too early and cold, and I’m sleepy.’”

“So I had to leave Halloran. I dressed quiet, and slipped out of the tent we were in. When the guard came along I knocked him over, like a ninepin, with a green cocoanut I had, and made for the railroad. I got on that hand-car and made it fly. ’Twas yet a while before daybreak when I saw the lights of Port Barrios about a mile away. I stopped the hand-car there and walked to the town. I stepped inside the corporations of that town with care and hesitations. I was not afraid of the army of Guatemala, but me soul quaked at the prospect of a hand-to-hand struggle with its employment bureau. ’Tis a country that hires its help easy and keeps ’em long. Sure I can fancy Missis America and Missis Guatemala passin’ a bit of gossip some fine, still night across the mountains. ‘Oh, dear,’ says Missis America, ‘and it’s a lot of trouble I’m havin’ ag’in with the help, señora, ma’am.’ ‘Laws, now!’ says Missis Guatemala, ‘you don’t say so, ma’am! Now, mine never think of leavin’ me—te-he! ma’am,’ snickers Missis Guatemala.

“So I had to leave Halloran. I got dressed quietly and slipped out of the tent we were in. When the guard passed by, I knocked him over like a bowling pin with a green coconut I had and headed for the railroad. I hopped on that handcar and made it go fast. It was still a while before dawn when I spotted the lights of Port Barrios about a mile away. I stopped the handcar there and walked into town. I entered the town cautiously and hesitantly. I wasn’t afraid of the Guatemalan army, but the thought of dealing with their employment agency made my soul tremble. It’s a country that hires workers easily and keeps them for a long time. I can just picture Mrs. America and Mrs. Guatemala gossiping one calm evening across the mountains. ‘Oh, dear,’ says Mrs. America, ‘I’m having a lot of trouble again with my staff, ma’am.’ ‘Really now!’ says Mrs. Guatemala, ‘You don’t say so, ma’am! Mine never think of leaving me—heh heh! ma’am,’ chuckles Mrs. Guatemala.”

“I was wonderin’ how I was goin’ to move away from them tropics without bein’ hired again. Dark as it was, I could see a steamer ridin’ in the harbour, with smoke emergin’ from her stacks. I turned down a little grass street that run down to the water. On the beach I found a little brown nigger-man just about to shove off in a skiff.

“I was wondering how I was going to leave the tropics without being hired again. Although it was dark, I could see a steamer in the harbor, with smoke coming from its stacks. I turned down a small grassy street that led to the water. On the beach, I saw a small brown man just about to push off in a skiff.

“‘Hold on, Sambo,’ says I, ‘savve English?’

“‘Hold on, Sambo,’ I said, ‘do you understand English?’”

“‘Heap plenty, yes,’ says he, with a pleasant grin.

“‘There’s a lot, for sure,’ he says, with a friendly grin.

“‘What steamer is that?’ I asks him, ‘and where is it going? And what’s the news, and the good word and the time of day?’

“‘What steamer is that?’ I ask him, ‘and where is it going? And what’s the news, the good word, and the time of day?’”

“‘That steamer the Conchita,’ said the brown man, affable and easy, rollin’ a cigarette. ‘Him come from New Orleans for load banana. Him got load last night. I think him sail in one, two hour. Verree nice day we shall be goin’ have. You hear some talkee ’bout big battle, maybe so? You think catchee General De Vega, señor? Yes? No?’

“‘That steamer the Conchita,’ said the brown man, friendly and relaxed, rolling a cigarette. ‘It came from New Orleans to pick up bananas. It finished loading last night. I think it will set sail in an hour or two. We're going to have a really nice day. Have you heard any talk about a big battle, maybe? Do you think they'll catch General De Vega, sir? Yes? No?’”

“‘How’s that, Sambo?’ says I. ‘Big battle? What battle? Who wants catchee General De Vega? I’ve been up at my old gold mines in the interior for a couple of months, and haven’t heard any news.’

“‘How's that, Sambo?’ I said. ‘Big battle? What battle? Who wants to catch General De Vega? I've been at my old gold mines in the interior for a couple of months and haven't heard any news.’”

“‘Oh,’ says the nigger-man, proud to speak the English, ‘verree great revolution in Guatemala one week ago. General De Vega, him try be president. Him raise armee—one—five—ten thousand mans for fight at the government. Those one government send five—forty—hundred thousand soldier to suppress revolution. They fight big battle yesterday at Lomagrande—that about nineteen or fifty mile in the mountain. That government soldier wheep General De Vega—oh, most bad. Five hundred—nine hundred—two thousand of his mans is kill. That revolution is smash suppress—bust—very quick. General De Vega, him r-r-run away fast on one big mule. Yes, carrambos! The general, him r-r-run away, and his armee is kill. That government soldier, they try find General De Vega verree much. They want catchee him for shoot. You think they catchee that general, señor?’

“‘Oh,’ says the man, proudly speaking English, ‘there was a really big revolution in Guatemala a week ago. General De Vega tried to become president. He raised an army—one, five, ten thousand men—to fight against the government. The government sent five, forty, up to a hundred thousand soldiers to suppress the revolution. They fought a big battle yesterday at Lomagrande, which is about nineteen or fifty miles in the mountains. The government soldiers really defeated General De Vega—oh, it was almost terrible. Five hundred, nine hundred, two thousand of his men were killed. That revolution was crushed—busted—very quickly. General De Vega ran away fast on a big mule. Yes, carrambos! The general ran away, and his army was killed. The government soldiers are trying to find General De Vega a lot. They want to catch him to shoot him. Do you think they’ll catch that general, señor?’"

“‘Saints grant it!’ says I. ‘’Twould be the judgment of Providence for settin’ the warlike talent of a Clancy to gradin’ the tropics with a pick and shovel. But ’tis not so much a question of insurrections now, me little man, as ’tis of the hired-man problem. ’Tis anxious I am to resign a situation of responsibility and trust with the white wings department of your great and degraded country. Row me in your little boat out to that steamer, and I’ll give ye five dollars—sinker pacers—sinker pacers,’ says I, reducin’ the offer to the language and denomination of the tropic dialects.

“‘God willing!’ I said. ‘It would be the judgment of fate to have a Clancy’s talent for warfare wasted digging in the tropical dirt. But it’s less about revolts now, my little man, and more about the issue of hired hands. I’m eager to quit a job of responsibility and trust with the white wings department of your great and troubled country. Row me in your small boat out to that steamer, and I’ll give you five dollars—sinkers for the pace—sinkers for the pace,’ I said, simplifying the offer to fit the local dialect.”

“‘Cinco pesos,’ repeats the little man. ‘Five dollee, you give?’

“‘Five pesos,’ the little man repeats. ‘Five dollars, you give?’”

“’Twas not such a bad little man. He had hesitations at first, sayin’ that passengers leavin’ the country had to have papers and passports, but at last he took me out alongside the steamer.

“’Twas not such a bad little man. He had hesitations at first, saying that passengers leaving the country had to have papers and passports, but in the end, he took me out alongside the steamer.

“Day was just breakin’ as we struck her, and there wasn’t a soul to be seen on board. The water was very still, and the nigger-man gave me a lift from the boat, and I climbed onto the steamer where her side was sliced to the deck for loadin’ fruit. The hatches was open, and I looked down and saw the cargo of bananas that filled the hold to within six feet of the top. I thinks to myself, ‘Clancy, you better go as a stowaway. It’s safer. The steamer men might hand you back to the employment bureau. The tropic’ll get you, Clancy, if you don’t watch out.’

“Day was just breaking as we boarded, and there wasn’t a soul to be seen on the ship. The water was very calm, and the deckhand helped me from the boat, and I climbed onto the steamer where her side was cut down to the deck for loading fruit. The hatches were open, and I looked down and saw the cargo of bananas that filled the hold up to within six feet of the top. I thought to myself, ‘Clancy, you better go as a stowaway. It’s safer. The steamer crew might send you back to the employment agency. The tropics will get you, Clancy, if you’re not careful.’”

“So I jumps down easy among the bananas, and digs out a hole to hide in among the bunches. In an hour or so I could hear the engines goin’, and feel the steamer rockin’, and I knew we were off to sea. They left the hatches open for ventilation, and pretty soon it was light enough in the hold to see fairly well. I got to feelin’ a bit hungry, and thought I’d have a light fruit lunch, by way of refreshment. I creeped out of the hole I’d made and stood up straight. Just then I saw another man crawl up about ten feet away and reach out and skin a banana and stuff it into his mouth. ’Twas a dirty man, black-faced and ragged and disgraceful of aspect. Yes, the man was a ringer for the pictures of the fat Weary Willie in the funny papers. I looked again, and saw it was my general man—De Vega, the great revolutionist, mule-rider and pickaxe importer. When he saw me the general hesitated with his mouth filled with banana and his eyes the size of cocoanuts.

“So, I jumped down easily among the bananas and dug out a hole to hide in among the bunches. After about an hour, I could hear the engines running and feel the steamer rocking, and I knew we were off to sea. They left the hatches open for ventilation, and pretty soon it was light enough in the hold to see fairly well. I started feeling a bit hungry and thought I’d have a light fruit lunch for a snack. I crawled out of the hole I’d made and stood up straight. Just then, I saw another man crawl up about ten feet away, reach out, peel a banana, and stuff it into his mouth. He was a dirty man, black-faced and ragged, and looked pretty rough. Yeah, the man looked just like the pictures of the fat Weary Willie in the comics. I looked again and saw it was my guy—De Vega, the great revolutionary, mule-rider, and pickaxe importer. When he saw me, the general hesitated with his mouth full of banana and his eyes wide open.”

“‘Hist!’ I says. ‘Not a word, or they’ll put us off and make us walk. “Veev la Liberty!”’ I adds, copperin’ the sentiment by shovin’ a banana into the source of it. I was certain the general wouldn’t recognize me. The nefarious work of the tropics had left me lookin’ different. There was half an inch of roan whiskers coverin’ me face, and me costume was a pair of blue overalls and a red shirt.

“‘Shh!’ I said. ‘Not a word, or they’ll kick us off and make us walk. “Long live Liberty!”’ I added, emphasizing the point by stuffing a banana into the source of it. I was sure the general wouldn’t recognize me. The shady effects of the tropics had changed my appearance. I had half an inch of brown stubble covering my face, and my outfit was a pair of blue overalls and a red shirt.

“‘How you come in the ship, señor?’ asked the general as soon as he could speak.

“‘How did you arrive on the ship, sir?’ asked the general as soon as he could speak.

“‘By the back door—whist!’ says I. ‘’Twas a glorious blow for liberty we struck,’ I continues; ‘but we was overpowered by numbers. Let us accept our defeat like brave men and eat another banana.’

“‘Through the back door—shh!’ I said. ‘We dealt a great blow for freedom,’ I continued; ‘but we were outnumbered. Let’s take our defeat like brave people and eat another banana.’”

“‘Were you in the cause of liberty fightin’, señor?’ says the general, sheddin’ tears on the cargo.

“‘Were you fighting for liberty, sir?’” says the general, shedding tears over the cargo.

“‘To the last,’ says I. ‘’Twas I led the last desperate charge against the minions of the tyrant. But it made them mad, and we was forced to retreat. ’Twas I, general, procured the mule upon which you escaped. Could you give that ripe bunch a little boost this way, general? It’s a bit out of my reach. Thanks.’

“‘To the end,’ I said. ‘I was the one who led the final desperate charge against the tyrant’s minions. But it drove them crazy, and we had to pull back. I, general, got the mule you used to escape. Could you give that ripe bunch a little nudge this way, general? It’s just out of my reach. Thanks.’”

“‘Say you so, brave patriot?’ said the general, again weepin’. ‘Ah, Dios! And I have not the means to reward your devotion. Barely did I my life bring away. Carrambos! what a devil’s animal was that mule, señor! Like ships in one storm was I dashed about. The skin on myself was ripped away with the thorns and vines. Upon the bark of a hundred trees did that beast of the infernal bump, and cause outrage to the legs of mine. In the night to Port Barrios I came. I dispossess myself of that mountain of mule and hasten along the water shore. I find a little boat to be tied. I launch myself and row to the steamer. I cannot see any mans on board, so I climbed one rope which hang at the side. I then myself hide in the bananas. Surely, I say, if the ship captains view me, they shall throw me again to those Guatemala. Those things are not good. Guatemala will shoot General De Vega. Therefore, I am hide and remain silent. Life itself is glorious. Liberty, it is pretty good; but so good as life I do not think.’

“‘Is that so, brave patriot?’ said the general, tearing up again. ‘Ah, Dios! I have no way to reward your loyalty. I barely managed to save my life. Carrambos! What a wicked creature that mule was, sir! I was tossed around like ships in a storm. The thorns and vines tore my skin. That infernal beast slammed into the bark of a hundred trees, causing me great pain. I arrived at Port Barrios in the night. I got rid of that mountain of a mule and hurried along the shore. I found a little boat tied up. I launched it and rowed to the steamer. I couldn't see anyone on board, so I climbed a rope hanging from the side. Then I hid myself among the bananas. I thought, surely, if the ship's crew sees me, they’ll throw me back to Guatemala. That wouldn’t end well. Guatemala will execute General De Vega. So, I hide and stay quiet. Life itself is amazing. Liberty is pretty good, but I don’t think it’s as good as life.’”

“Three days, as I said, was the trip to New Orleans. The general man and me got to be cronies of the deepest dye. Bananas we ate until they were distasteful to the sight and an eyesore to the palate, but to bananas alone was the bill of fare reduced. At night I crawls out, careful, on the lower deck, and gets a bucket of fresh water.

“Three days, as I mentioned, was the trip to New Orleans. The general and I became the best of friends. We ate so many bananas that they became unappetizing to look at and unpleasant to taste, but bananas were all we had on the menu. At night, I crawled out carefully onto the lower deck to get a bucket of fresh water.”

“That General De Vega was a man inhabited by an engorgement of words and sentences. He added to the monotony of the voyage by divestin’ himself of conversation. He believed I was a revolutionist of his own party, there bein’, as he told me, a good many Americans and other foreigners in its ranks. ’Twas a braggart and a conceited little gabbler it was, though he considered himself a hero. ’Twas on himself he wasted all his regrets at the failin’ of his plot. Not a word did the little balloon have to say about the other misbehavin’ idiots that had been shot, or run themselves to death in his revolution.

“That General De Vega was a guy overflowing with words and sentences. He made the journey even more dull by not engaging in conversation. He thought I was a revolutionary from his party, saying there were quite a few Americans and other foreigners among them. He was a braggart and a self-important chatterbox, even though he saw himself as a hero. He poured all his regrets into the failure of his plan. Not a single word did the little hot air balloon have to say about the other idiots who had been shot or who had run themselves to death in his revolution.”

“The second day out he was feelin’ pretty braggy and uppish for a stowed-away conspirator that owed his existence to a mule and stolen bananas. He was tellin’ me about the great railroad he had been buildin’, and he relates what he calls a comic incident about a fool Irishman he inveigled from New Orleans to sling a pick on his little morgue of a narrow-gauge line. ’Twas sorrowful to hear the little, dirty general tell the opprobrious story of how he put salt upon the tail of that reckless and silly bird, Clancy. Laugh, he did, hearty and long. He shook with laughin’, the black-faced rebel and outcast, standin’ neck-deep in bananas, without friends or country.

“The second day out, he was feeling pretty cocky and full of himself for a stowed-away conspirator who owed his life to a mule and stolen bananas. He was telling me about the great railroad he had been building and shared what he called a funny story about a foolish Irishman he tricked into working on his little rundown narrow-gauge line. It was sad to hear the little, dirty general tell the disgraceful story of how he put salt on the tail of that reckless and silly guy, Clancy. He laughed, loud and long. He shook with laughter, the black-faced rebel and outcast, standing neck-deep in bananas, without friends or a country.

“‘Ah, señor,’ he snickers, ‘to the death you would have laughed at that drollest Irish. I say to him: “Strong, big mans is need very much in Guatemala.” “I will blows strike for your down-pressed country,” he say. “That shall you do,” I tell him. Ah! it was an Irish so comic. He sees one box break upon the wharf that contain for the guard a few gun. He think there is gun in all the box. But that is all pickaxe. Yes. Ah! señor, could you the face of that Irish have seen when they set him to the work!’

“‘Ah, sir,’ he chuckles, ‘you would have laughed at that funny Irishman until the end. I said to him: “We really need strong, big men in Guatemala.” “I will fight for your oppressed country,” he replied. “You will do just that,” I told him. Ah! that Irishman was so amusing. He saw a box break on the wharf that was meant for the guards, thinking it was full of guns. But it was all just pickaxes. Yes. Ah! sir, you should have seen the look on that Irishman’s face when they put him to work!’”

“’Twas thus the ex-boss of the employment bureau contributed to the tedium of the trip with merry jests and anecdote. But now and then he would weep upon the bananas and make oration about the lost cause of liberty and the mule.

“Thus, the former boss of the employment agency added to the boredom of the trip with cheerful jokes and stories. But every now and then, he would cry over the bananas and give speeches about the lost cause of freedom and the mule."

“’Twas a pleasant sound when the steamer bumped against the pier in New Orleans. Pretty soon we heard the pat-a-pat of hundreds of bare feet, and the Dago gang that unloads the fruit jumped on the deck and down into the hold. Me and the general worked a while at passin’ up the bunches, and they thought we were part of the gang. After about an hour we managed to slip off the steamer onto the wharf.

“It was a nice sound when the steamboat hit the pier in New Orleans. Soon, we heard the patter of hundreds of bare feet, and the group unloading the fruit jumped onto the deck and down into the hold. The general and I worked for a while passing up the bunches, and they thought we were part of the crew. After about an hour, we managed to sneak off the steamboat onto the wharf.”

“’Twas a great honour on the hands of an obscure Clancy, havin’ the entertainment of the representative of a great foreign filibusterin’ power. I first bought for the general and myself many long drinks and things to eat that were not bananas. The general man trotted along at my side, leavin’ all the arrangements to me. I led him up to Lafayette Square and set him on a bench in the little park. Cigarettes I had bought for him, and he humped himself down on the seat like a little, fat, contented hobo. I look him over as he sets there, and what I see pleases me. Brown by nature and instinct, he is now brindled with dirt and dust. Praise to the mule, his clothes is mostly strings and flaps. Yes, the looks of the general man is agreeable to Clancy.

“It was a great honor for an unknown Clancy to entertain the representative of a powerful foreign group. I first got drinks and food that weren't bananas for the general and myself. The general walked alongside me, leaving all the planning to me. I took him to Lafayette Square and had him sit on a bench in the small park. I had bought cigarettes for him, and he settled down on the seat like a happy, chubby hobo. I looked him over as he sat there, and I liked what I saw. Naturally brown and instinctively rugged, he was now marked with dirt and dust. Praise to the mule, his clothes were mostly strings and flaps. Yes, the general's appearance was pleasing to Clancy.”

“I ask him, delicate, if, by any chance, he brought away anybody’s money with him from Guatemala. He sighs and bumps his shoulders against the bench. Not a cent. All right. Maybe, he tells me, some of his friends in the tropic outfit will send him funds later. The general was as clear a case of no visible means as I ever saw.

“I gently ask him if, by any chance, he took anyone's money with him from Guatemala. He sighs and nudges his shoulders against the bench. Not a cent. Okay. Maybe, he tells me, some of his friends in the tropical outfit will send him money later. The general was as clear a case of having no visible means as I ever saw.

“I told him not to move from the bench, and then I went up to the corner of Poydras and Carondelet. Along there is O’Hara’s beat. In five minutes along comes O’Hara, a big, fine man, red-faced, with shinin’ buttons, swingin’ his club. ’Twould be a fine thing for Guatemala to move into O’Hara’s precinct. ’Twould be a fine bit of recreation for Danny to suppress revolutions and uprisin’s once or twice a week with his club.

“I told him to stay put on the bench, and then I walked over to the corner of Poydras and Carondelet. That’s O’Hara’s beat. In five minutes, O’Hara showed up, a solid guy, red-faced, with shiny buttons, swinging his club. It would be quite something for Guatemala to step into O’Hara’s area. It’d be a nice little break for Danny to crack down on revolutions and uprisings once or twice a week with his club.”

“‘Is 5046 workin’ yet, Danny?’ says I, walkin’ up to him.

“‘Is 5046 working yet, Danny?’ I said, walking up to him.

“‘Overtime,’ says O’Hara, lookin’ over me suspicious. ‘Want some of it?’

“‘Overtime,’ says O’Hara, looking at me suspiciously. ‘Want some of it?’”

“Fifty-forty-six is the celebrated city ordinance authorizin’ arrest, conviction and imprisonment of persons that succeed in concealin’ their crimes from the police.

“Fifty-forty-six is the well-known city law allowing the arrest, conviction, and imprisonment of individuals who manage to hide their crimes from the police.”

“‘Don’t ye know Jimmy Clancy?’ says I. ‘Ye pink-gilled monster.’ So, when O’Hara recognized me beneath the scandalous exterior bestowed upon me by the tropics, I backed him into a doorway and told him what I wanted, and why I wanted it. ‘All right, Jimmy,’ says O’Hara. ‘Go back and hold the bench. I’ll be along in ten minutes.’

“‘Don’t you know Jimmy Clancy?’ I said. ‘You pink-gilled monster.’ So, when O’Hara recognized me beneath the scandalous look the tropics had given me, I backed him into a doorway and told him what I needed and why. ‘All right, Jimmy,’ O’Hara said. ‘Go back and hold the bench. I’ll be there in ten minutes.’”

“In that time O’Hara strolled through Lafayette Square and spied two Weary Willies disgracin’ one of the benches. In ten minutes more J. Clancy and General De Vega, late candidate for the presidency of Guatemala, was in the station house. The general is badly frightened, and calls upon me to proclaim his distinguishments and rank.

“In that time, O’Hara walked through Lafayette Square and saw two homeless men sadly sitting on one of the benches. Ten minutes later, J. Clancy and General De Vega, who had recently run for president of Guatemala, were in the station house. The general is really scared and asks me to announce his titles and rank.”

“‘The man,’ says I to the police, ‘used to be a railroad man. He’s on the bum now. ’Tis a little bughouse he is, on account of losin’ his job.’

“‘The guy,’ I tell the police, ‘used to work on the railroad. Now he’s down on his luck. He’s a bit crazy because he lost his job.’”

“‘Carrambos!’ says the general, fizzin’ like a little soda-water fountain, ‘you fought, señor, with my forces in my native country. Why do you say the lies? You shall say I am the General De Vega, one soldier, one caballero—’

“‘Carrambos!’ says the general, fizzing like a little soda fountain, ‘you fought, sir, with my troops in my homeland. Why do you speak lies? You should say I am General De Vega, one soldier, one caballero—’”

“‘Railroader,’ says I again. ‘On the hog. No good. Been livin’ for three days on stolen bananas. Look at him. Ain’t that enough?’

“‘Railroader,’ I said again. ‘On the hog. No good. Been living for three days on stolen bananas. Look at him. Isn’t that enough?’”

“Twenty-five dollars or sixty days, was what the recorder gave the general. He didn’t have a cent, so he took the time. They let me go, as I knew they would, for I had money to show, and O’Hara spoke for me. Yes; sixty days he got. ’Twas just so long that I slung a pick for the great country of Kam—Guatemala.”

“Twenty-five dollars or sixty days, that’s what the judge gave the general. He didn’t have a dime, so he chose the time. They let me go, just like I knew they would, since I had cash to show, and O’Hara vouched for me. Yeah; he got the full sixty days. It was just about that long that I worked a pickaxe for the great land of Kam—Guatemala.”

Clancy paused. The bright starlight showed a reminiscent look of happy content on his seasoned features. Keogh leaned in his chair and gave his partner a slap on his thinly-clad back that sounded like the crack of the surf on the sands.

Clancy paused. The bright starlight revealed a nostalgic look of happiness on his weathered face. Keogh leaned back in his chair and gave his partner a playful slap on his lightly-dressed back that sounded like the crash of waves on the shore.

“Tell ’em, ye divil,” he chuckled, “how you got even with the tropical general in the way of agricultural manœuvrings.”

“Tell them, you devil,” he chuckled, “how you got back at the tropical general with your agricultural strategies.”

“Havin’ no money,” concluded Clancy, with unction, “they set him to work his fine out with a gang from the parish prison clearing Ursulines Street. Around the corner was a saloon decorated genially with electric fans and cool merchandise. I made that me headquarters, and every fifteen minutes I’d walk around and take a look at the little man filibusterin’ with a rake and shovel. ’Twas just such a hot broth of a day as this has been. And I’d call at him ‘Hey, monseer!’ and he’d look at me black, with the damp showin’ through his shirt in places.

“Havin' no money,” Clancy concluded earnestly, “they had him work off his fine with a crew from the parish prison, clearing Ursulines Street. Just around the corner was a saloon cheerfully outfitted with electric fans and cold drinks. I made that my headquarters, and every fifteen minutes I'd stroll over to check on the little guy struggling with a rake and shovel. It was just as hot and miserable a day as today. I’d call out to him, ‘Hey, man!’ and he’d shoot me a dirty look, with sweat showing through his shirt in spots.”

“‘Fat, strong mans,’ says I to General De Vega, ‘is needed in New Orleans. Yes. To carry on the good work. Carrambos! Erin go bragh!’”

“‘Big, strong men,’ I say to General De Vega, ‘are needed in New Orleans. Yes. To continue the good work. Carrambos! Ireland forever!’”

XI
THE REMNANTS OF THE CODE

Breakfast in Coralio was at eleven. Therefore the people did not go to market early. The little wooden market-house stood on a patch of short-trimmed grass, under the vivid green foliage of a bread-fruit tree.

Breakfast in Coralio was at eleven. So, the people didn't head to the market early. The small wooden market house sat on a patch of short-trimmed grass, beneath the bright green leaves of a breadfruit tree.

Thither one morning the venders leisurely convened, bringing their wares with them. A porch or platform six feet wide encircled the building, shaded from the mid-morning sun by the projecting, grass-thatched roof. Upon this platform the venders were wont to display their goods—newly-killed beef, fish, crabs, fruit of the country, cassava, eggs, dulces and high, tottering stacks of native tortillas as large around as the sombrero of a Spanish grandee.

One morning, the vendors gathered at a relaxed pace, bringing their goods along. A six-foot-wide porch or platform surrounded the building, shielded from the mid-morning sun by the overhanging, grass-thatched roof. On this platform, the vendors would display their products—freshly killed beef, fish, crabs, local fruit, cassava, eggs, dulces, and towering stacks of native tortillas as wide as a Spanish grandee's sombrero.

But on this morning they whose stations lay on the seaward side of the market-house, instead of spreading their merchandise formed themselves into a softly jabbering and gesticulating group. For there upon their space of the platform was sprawled, asleep, the unbeautiful figure of “Beelzebub” Blythe. He lay upon a ragged strip of cocoa matting, more than ever a fallen angel in appearance. His suit of coarse flax, soiled, bursting at the seams, crumpled into a thousand diversified wrinkles and creases, inclosed him absurdly, like the garb of some effigy that had been stuffed in sport and thrown there after indignity had been wrought upon it. But firmly upon the high bridge of his nose reposed his gold-rimmed glasses, the surviving badge of his ancient glory.

But on this morning, those whose stalls were on the seaside of the market-house didn’t set out their goods. Instead, they gathered into a softly chattering and gesturing group. There, sprawled across their section of the platform, was the unattractive figure of “Beelzebub” Blythe, fast asleep. He lay on a tattered piece of cocoa matting, looking more than ever like a fallen angel. His rough flax suit was dirty, bursting at the seams, and crumpled into a thousand different wrinkles and creases, fitting him absurdly like the outfit of some dummy that had been stuffed for fun and then discarded after it was mistreated. But perched firmly on the high bridge of his nose were his gold-rimmed glasses, the last reminder of his former glory.

The sun’s rays, reflecting quiveringly from the rippling sea upon his face, and the voices of the market-men woke “Beelzebub” Blythe. He sat up, blinking, and leaned his back against the wall of the market. Drawing a blighted silk handkerchief from his pocket, he assiduously rubbed and burnished his glasses. And while doing this he became aware that his bedroom had been invaded, and that polite brown and yellow men were beseeching him to vacate in favour of their market stuff.

The sun's rays, shimmering off the moving sea and hitting his face, along with the chatter of the market vendors, woke “Beelzebub” Blythe. He sat up, squinting, and leaned against the market wall. Taking a worn silk handkerchief from his pocket, he carefully cleaned and polished his glasses. While doing this, he noticed that his bedroom had been taken over and that courteous brown and yellow men were asking him to leave to make room for their market goods.

If the señor would have the goodness—a thousand pardons for bringing to him molestation—but soon would come the compradores for the day’s provisions—surely they had ten thousand regrets at disturbing him!

If the sir would be so kind—sorry for bothering him—but the compradores would soon arrive for the day’s supplies—I'm sure they regretted disturbing him!

In this manner they expanded to him the intimation that he must clear out and cease to clog the wheels of trade.

In this way, they hinted to him that he needed to leave and stop holding up business.

Blythe stepped from the platform with the air of a prince leaving his canopied couch. He never quite lost that air, even at the lowest point of his fall. It is clear that the college of good breeding does not necessarily maintain a chair of morals within its walls.

Blythe stepped off the platform like a prince leaving his fancy couch. He never really lost that vibe, even when he hit rock bottom. It’s clear that the college of good manners doesn’t always teach morals.

Blythe shook out his wry clothing, and moved slowly up the Calle Grande through the hot sand. He moved without a destination in his mind. The little town was languidly stirring to its daily life. Golden-skinned babies tumbled over one another in the grass. The sea breeze brought him appetite, but nothing to satisfy it. Throughout Coralio were its morning odors—those from the heavily fragrant tropical flowers and from the bread baking in the outdoor ovens of clay and the pervading smoke of their fires. Where the smoke cleared, the crystal air, with some of the efficacy of faith, seemed to remove the mountains almost to the sea, bringing them so near that one might count the scarred glades on their wooded sides. The light-footed Caribs were swiftly gliding to their tasks at the waterside. Already along the bosky trails from the banana groves files of horses were slowly moving, concealed, except for their nodding heads and plodding legs, by the bunches of green-golden fruit heaped upon their backs. On doorsills sat women combing their long, black hair and calling, one to another, across the narrow thoroughfares. Peace reigned in Coralio—arid and bald peace; but still peace.

Blythe shook out his wrinkled clothes and slowly walked up Calle Grande through the hot sand. He wandered without a destination in mind. The small town was lazily waking up to its daily routine. Golden-skinned babies tumbled over each other in the grass. The sea breeze made him hungry, but there was nothing to satisfy that hunger. Throughout Coralio, the morning scents filled the air—those from the intensely fragrant tropical flowers, the fresh bread baking in outdoor clay ovens, and the smoke from their fires. Where the smoke cleared, the crystal-clear air, almost like a leap of faith, seemed to push the mountains close to the sea, making them appear so near that one could count the scarred glades on their wooded sides. The light-footed Caribs were quickly heading to their tasks by the water. Already along the leafy paths from the banana groves, lines of horses were slowly making their way, hidden except for their nodding heads and plodding legs, buried beneath the bunches of green-golden fruit piled on their backs. On doorsteps, women sat combing their long black hair and calling out to one another across the narrow streets. Peace reigned in Coralio—dry and empty peace; but still peace.

On that bright morning when Nature seemed to be offering the lotus on the Dawn’s golden platter “Beelzebub” Blythe had reached rock bottom. Further descent seemed impossible. That last night’s slumber in a public place had done for him. As long as he had had a roof to cover him there had remained, unbridged, the space that separates a gentleman from the beasts of the jungle and the fowls of the air. But now he was little more than a whimpering oyster led to be devoured on the sands of a Southern sea by the artful walrus, Circumstance, and the implacable carpenter, Fate.

On that bright morning when Nature seemed to present the lotus on Dawn's golden platter, “Beelzebub” Blythe had hit rock bottom. There was nowhere to go but up. His last night's sleep in a public place had shattered him. As long as he had a roof over his head, there had been a clear line separating him from the wild animals and the birds. But now he was nothing more than a whimpering oyster about to be devoured on the shores of a Southern sea by the cunning walrus, Circumstance, and the relentless carpenter, Fate.

To Blythe money was now but a memory. He had drained his friends of all that their good-fellowship had to offer; then he had squeezed them to the last drop of their generosity; and at the last, Aaron-like, he had smitten the rock of their hardening bosoms for the scattering, ignoble drops of Charity itself.

To Blythe, money was now just a memory. He had taken everything his friends had to offer in terms of good vibes; then he had squeezed them dry of their generosity; and in the end, like Aaron, he had struck the hardening hearts of his friends for the few, unworthy drops of charity.

He had exhausted his credit to the last real. With the minute keenness of the shameless sponger he was aware of every source in Coralio from which a glass of rum, a meal or a piece of silver could be wheedled. Marshalling each such source in his mind, he considered it with all the thoroughness and penetration that hunger and thirst lent him for the task. All his optimism failed to thresh a grain of hope from the chaff of his postulations. He had played out the game. That one night in the open had shaken his nerves. Until then there had been left to him at least a few grounds upon which he could base his unblushing demands upon his neighbours’ stores. Now he must beg instead of borrowing. The most brazen sophistry could not dignify by the name of “loan” the coin contemptuously flung to a beachcomber who slept on the bare boards of the public market.

He had used up his last cent. With the sharp instincts of a shameless freeloader, he knew every place in Coralio where he could charm someone into giving him a drink, a meal, or a bit of cash. Holding onto each of these options in his mind, he examined them all with the focus and intensity that hunger and thirst inspired. Despite his optimism, he couldn’t find a glimmer of hope in his thoughts. He had hit rock bottom. That one night spent outdoors had rattled his nerves. Up until then, he at least had a few reasons to make bold requests from his neighbors. Now, he had to beg instead of borrowing. Even the most outrageous reasoning couldn’t turn the coins tossed dismissively to a beach bum sleeping on the hard floor of the public market into a “loan.”

But on this morning no beggar would have more thankfully received a charitable coin, for the demon thirst had him by the throat—the drunkard’s matutinal thirst that requires to be slaked at each morning station on the road to Tophet.

But on this morning, no beggar would have more gratefully accepted a coin, for the demon thirst had him by the throat—the drunkard’s morning thirst that needs to be satisfied at each stop on the way to hell.

Blythe walked slowly up the street, keeping a watchful eye for any miracle that might drop manna upon him in his wilderness. As he passed the popular eating house of Madama Vasquez, Madama’s boarders were just sitting down to freshly-baked bread, aguacates, pines and delicious coffee that sent forth odorous guarantee of its quality upon the breeze. Madama was serving; she turned her shy, stolid, melancholy gaze for a moment out the window; she saw Blythe, and her expression turned more shy and embarrassed. “Beelzebub” owed her twenty pesos. He bowed as he had once bowed to less embarrassed dames to whom he owed nothing, and passed on.

Blythe walked slowly up the street, keeping a close eye out for any miracle that might drop something good on him in this tough time. As he walked by the popular restaurant of Madama Vasquez, her boarders were just sitting down to freshly baked bread, avocados, pine nuts, and delicious coffee that wafted a fragrant promise of its quality through the air. Madama was serving; she briefly turned her shy, serious, sad gaze out the window; she saw Blythe, and her expression became even more shy and embarrassed. “Beelzebub” owed her twenty pesos. He bowed as he had once bowed to other less embarrassed ladies to whom he owed nothing, and continued on his way.

Merchants and their clerks were throwing open the solid wooden doors of their shops. Polite but cool were the glances they cast upon Blythe as he lounged tentatively by with the remains of his old jaunty air; for they were his creditors almost without exception.

Merchants and their clerks were swinging open the heavy wooden doors of their stores. They cast polite yet distant glances at Blythe as he casually hung around, still clinging to the remnants of his old confident vibe; after all, they were nearly all his creditors.

At the little fountain in the plaza he made an apology for a toilet with his wetted handkerchief. Across the open square filed the dolorous line of friends of the prisoners in the calaboza, bearing the morning meal of the immured. The food in their hands aroused small longing in Blythe. It was drink that his soul craved, or money to buy it.

At the small fountain in the plaza, he made a makeshift toilet with his wet handkerchief. Across the open square, a sad line of friends of the prisoners in the calaboza filed by, carrying the morning meal for those locked up. The food in their hands stirred little desire in Blythe. What he really craved was a drink—or money to buy one.

In the streets he met many with whom he had been friends and equals, and whose patience and liberality he had gradually exhausted. Willard Geddie and Paula cantered past him with the coolest of nods, returning from their daily horseback ride along the old Indian road. Keogh passed him at another corner, whistling cheerfully and bearing a prize of newly-laid eggs for the breakfast of himself and Clancy. The jovial scout of Fortune was one of Blythe’s victims who had plunged his hand oftenest into his pocket to aid him. But now it seemed that Keogh, too, had fortified himself against further invasions. His curt greeting and the ominous light in his full, grey eye quickened the steps of “Beelzebub,” whom desperation had almost incited to attempt an additional “loan.”

In the streets, he ran into many people he had once considered friends and equals, whose patience and generosity he had slowly worn down. Willard Geddie and Paula rode past him, casually nodding as they returned from their daily ride along the old Indian road. Keogh passed him at another corner, whistling happily and carrying a prize of freshly laid eggs for breakfast with himself and Clancy. The cheerful scout of fortune was one of Blythe’s victims, frequently reaching into his pocket to help him out. But now it seemed that Keogh had also built up a defense against further requests. His terse greeting and the ominous glint in his gray eyes made “Beelzebub” quicken his pace, as desperation had nearly pushed him to ask for another “loan.”

Three drinking shops the forlorn one next visited in succession. In all of these his money, his credit and his welcome had long since been spent; but Blythe felt that he would have fawned in the dust at the feet of an enemy that morning for one draught of aguardiente. In two of the pulperias his courageous petition for drink was met with a refusal so polite that it stung worse than abuse. The third establishment had acquired something of American methods; and here he was seized bodily and cast out upon his hands and knees.

Three bars the dejected one visited in a row. In all of these, his cash, his credit, and his welcome had long since run out; but Blythe felt he would have grovelled at the feet of an enemy that morning for just one drink of aguardiente. In two of the pulperias, his brave request for a drink was met with a refusal so polite that it hurt more than being insulted. The third place had picked up some American practices; and here he was grabbed and thrown out, landing on his hands and knees.

This physical indignity caused a singular change in the man. As he picked himself up and walked away, an expression of absolute relief came upon his features. The specious and conciliatory smile that had been graven there was succeeded by a look of calm and sinister resolve. “Beelzebub” had been floundering in the sea of improbity, holding by a slender life-line to the respectable world that had cast him overboard. He must have felt that with this ultimate shock the line had snapped, and have experienced the welcome ease of the drowning swimmer who has ceased to struggle.

This physical humiliation triggered a significant change in the man. As he picked himself up and walked away, a look of total relief appeared on his face. The fake and conciliatory smile that had been etched there was replaced by an expression of calm and dark determination. “Beelzebub” had been struggling in a sea of dishonesty, clinging by a thin lifeline to the respectable world that had thrown him overboard. He must have felt that with this final shock, the line had broken, and experienced the welcome relief of a drowning swimmer who has stopped fighting.

Blythe walked to the next corner and stood there while he brushed the sand from his garments and re-polished his glasses.

Blythe walked to the next corner and stood there while he brushed the sand off his clothes and polished his glasses.

“I’ve got to do it—oh, I’ve got to do it,” he told himself, aloud. “If I had a quart of rum I believe I could stave it off yet—for a little while. But there’s no more rum for—‘Beelzebub,’ as they call me. By the flames of Tartarus! if I’m to sit at the right hand of Satan somebody has got to pay the court expenses. You’ll have to pony up, Mr. Frank Goodwin. You’re a good fellow; but a gentleman must draw the line at being kicked into the gutter. Blackmail isn’t a pretty word, but it’s the next station on the road I’m travelling.”

“I have to do it—oh, I really have to do it,” he said to himself out loud. “If I had a quart of rum, I think I could hold it off for a little while longer. But there’s no more rum for—‘Beelzebub,’ as they call me. By the flames of Tartarus! If I’m going to sit at the right hand of Satan, someone has to cover the court fees. You’re going to have to step up, Mr. Frank Goodwin. You’re a good guy; but a gentleman has to draw the line at being kicked into the gutter. Blackmail isn’t a nice word, but it’s the next stop on the path I’m on.”

With purpose in his steps Blythe now moved rapidly through the town by way of its landward environs. He passed through the squalid quarters of the improvident negroes and on beyond the picturesque shacks of the poorer mestizos. From many points along his course he could see, through the umbrageous glades, the house of Frank Goodwin on its wooded hill. And as he crossed the little bridge over the lagoon he saw the old Indian, Galvez, scrubbing at the wooden slab that bore the name of Miraflores. Beyond the lagoon the lands of Goodwin began to slope gently upward. A grassy road, shaded by a munificent and diverse array of tropical flora wound from the edge of an outlying banana grove to the dwelling. Blythe took this road with long and purposeful strides.

With determination in his steps, Blythe quickly made his way through the town along its landward outskirts. He walked through the rundown areas inhabited by the careless Black residents and moved beyond the charming shacks of the poorer mestizos. From various points along his path, he could see, through the shady glades, Frank Goodwin's house on its wooded hill. As he crossed the small bridge over the lagoon, he noticed the old Indian, Galvez, scrubbing the wooden slab that had the name Miraflores on it. Beyond the lagoon, Goodwin's land began to rise gently. A grassy road, lined with a rich and diverse range of tropical plants, wound from the edge of a nearby banana grove up to the house. Blythe took this road with long, purposeful strides.

Goodwin was seated on his coolest gallery, dictating letters to his secretary, a sallow and capable native youth. The household adhered to the American plan of breakfast; and that meal had been a thing of the past for the better part of an hour.

Goodwin was sitting in his stylish gallery, dictating letters to his secretary, a pale and capable young local. The household followed the American breakfast routine, and that meal had been over for the better part of an hour.

The castaway walked to the steps, and flourished a hand.

The castaway walked to the steps and waved a hand.

“Good morning, Blythe,” said Goodwin, looking up. “Come in and have a chair. Anything I can do for you?”

“Good morning, Blythe,” Goodwin said, looking up. “Come in and have a seat. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“I want to speak to you in private.”

“I want to talk to you privately.”

Goodwin nodded at his secretary, who strolled out under a mango tree and lit a cigarette. Blythe took the chair that he had left vacant.

Goodwin nodded at his secretary, who walked out under a mango tree and lit a cigarette. Blythe took the chair that he had left empty.

“I want some money,” he began, doggedly.

“I want some money,” he said, persistently.

“I’m sorry,” said Goodwin, with equal directness, “but you can’t have any. You’re drinking yourself to death, Blythe. Your friends have done all they could to help you to brace up. You won’t help yourself. There’s no use furnishing you with money to ruin yourself with any longer.”

“I’m sorry,” said Goodwin, just as straightforwardly, “but you can’t have any. You’re drinking yourself to death, Blythe. Your friends have done everything they can to help you get it together. You won’t help yourself. There’s no point in giving you money to destroy yourself with anymore.”

“Dear man,” said Blythe, tilting back his chair, “it isn’t a question of social economy now. It’s past that. I like you, Goodwin; and I’ve come to stick a knife between your ribs. I was kicked out of Espada’s saloon this morning; and Society owes me reparation for my wounded feelings.”

“Hey man,” said Blythe, leaning back in his chair, “this isn’t about social economy anymore. We’re past that. I like you, Goodwin; and I’ve come to stab you in the back. I got thrown out of Espada’s bar this morning; and Society owes me something for my hurt feelings.”

“I didn’t kick you out.”

“I didn’t boot you out.”

“No; but in a general way you represent Society; and in a particular way you represent my last chance. I’ve had to come down to it, old man—I tried to do it a month ago when Losada’s man was here turning things over; but I couldn’t do it then. Now it’s different. I want a thousand dollars, Goodwin; and you’ll have to give it to me.”

“No, but generally speaking, you represent Society; and specifically, you represent my last chance. I’ve had to accept this, my friend—I tried to do it a month ago when Losada’s guy was here going through everything; but I couldn’t pull it off then. Now it’s different. I need a thousand dollars, Goodwin; and you’re going to have to give it to me.”

“Only last week,” said Goodwin, with a smile, “a silver dollar was all you were asking for.”

“Just last week,” said Goodwin with a smile, “you were only asking for a silver dollar.”

“An evidence,” said Blythe, flippantly, “that I was still virtuous—though under heavy pressure. The wages of sin should be something higher than a peso worth forty-eight cents. Let’s talk business. I am the villain in the third act; and I must have my merited, if only temporary, triumph. I saw you collar the late president’s valiseful of boodle. Oh, I know it’s blackmail; but I’m liberal about the price. I know I’m a cheap villain—one of the regular sawmill-drama kind—but you’re one of my particular friends, and I don’t want to stick you hard.”

“Here’s proof,” Blythe said casually, “that I’m still virtuous—though it’s tough. The consequences of sin should offer something more than a peso worth forty-eight cents. Let’s get down to business. I’m the villain in this scene; and I deserve my moment of triumph, even if it’s just for now. I saw you grab the late president’s bag full of cash. Sure, I know it’s blackmail; but I’m flexible on the amount. I know I’m a cheap villain—just the usual type from a play—but you’re one of my good friends, and I don’t want to hit you too hard.”

“Suppose you go into the details,” suggested Goodwin, calmly arranging his letters on the table.

“Why don’t you get into the details?” suggested Goodwin, casually sorting his letters on the table.

“All right,” said “Beelzebub.” “I like the way you take it. I despise histrionics; so you will please prepare yourself for the facts without any red fire, calcium or grace notes on the saxophone.

“All right,” said “Beelzebub.” “I appreciate how you handle it. I can't stand drama; so please get ready for the facts without any flashy effects, bright lights, or jazz embellishments on the saxophone.

“On the night that His Fly-by-night Excellency arrived in town I was very drunk. You will excuse the pride with which I state that fact; but it was quite a feat for me to attain that desirable state. Somebody had left a cot out under the orange trees in the yard of Madama Ortiz’s hotel. I stepped over the wall, laid down upon it, and fell asleep. I was awakened by an orange that dropped from the tree upon my nose; and I laid there for awhile cursing Sir Isaac Newton, or whoever it was that invented gravitation, for not confining his theory to apples.

“On the night that His Fly-by-night Excellency came to town, I was pretty drunk. I hope you’ll forgive the pride I take in admitting that; it was quite an achievement for me to reach that state. Someone had left a cot under the orange trees in the yard of Madama Ortiz’s hotel. I climbed over the wall, lay down on it, and fell asleep. I was woken up by an orange that fell from the tree onto my nose; and I lay there for a while cursing Sir Isaac Newton, or whoever invented gravity, for not keeping his theory limited to apples.”

“And then along came Mr. Miraflores and his true-love with the treasury in a valise, and went into the hotel. Next you hove in sight, and held a pow-wow with the tonsorial artist who insisted upon talking shop after hours. I tried to slumber again; but once more my rest was disturbed—this time by the noise of the popgun that went off upstairs. Then that valise came crashing down into an orange tree just above my head; and I arose from my couch, not knowing when it might begin to rain Saratoga trunks. When the army and the constabulary began to arrive, with their medals and decorations hastily pinned to their pajamas, and their snickersnees drawn, I crawled into the welcome shadow of a banana plant. I remained there for an hour, by which time the excitement and the people had cleared away. And then, my dear Goodwin—excuse me—I saw you sneak back and pluck that ripe and juicy valise from the orange tree. I followed you, and saw you take it to your own house. A hundred-thousand-dollar crop from one orange tree in a season about breaks the record of the fruit-growing industry.

“And then Mr. Miraflores and his true love showed up with a suitcase full of cash and went into the hotel. Next, you appeared and had a chat with the barber who wouldn’t stop talking shop after hours. I tried to sleep again, but once more my rest was interrupted—this time by the loud bang of a popgun going off upstairs. Then, that suitcase came crashing down right into an orange tree above my head; I got up from my couch, wondering when it might start raining Saratoga trunks. When the army and the police arrived, medals and decorations hastily pinned to their pajamas and weapons drawn, I crawled into the welcome shade of a banana plant. I stayed there for an hour, by which time the chaos and the crowd had cleared away. And then, my dear Goodwin—sorry—I saw you sneak back and grab that ripe, juicy suitcase from the orange tree. I followed you and watched you take it to your house. A hundred-thousand-dollar harvest from a single orange tree in one season is about to break records in the fruit-growing industry.”

“Being a gentleman at that time, of course, I never mentioned the incident to anyone. But this morning I was kicked out of a saloon, my code of honour is all out at the elbows, and I’d sell my mother’s prayer-book for three fingers of aguardiente. I’m not putting on the screws hard. It ought to be worth a thousand to you for me to have slept on that cot through the whole business without waking up and seeing anything.”

“Being a gentleman back then, of course, I never brought up the incident to anyone. But this morning I got kicked out of a bar, my code of honor is completely shot, and I’d sell my mom’s prayer book for three shots of aguardiente. I’m not trying to pressure you too much. It should be worth a thousand to you for me having slept on that cot through the whole thing without waking up or seeing anything.”

Goodwin opened two more letters, and made memoranda in pencil on them. Then he called “Manuel!” to his secretary, who came, spryly.

Goodwin opened two more letters and made pencil notes on them. Then he called out, “Manuel!” to his secretary, who came over quickly.

“The Ariel—when does she sail?” asked Goodwin.

“The Ariel—when does she leave?” asked Goodwin.

“Señor,” answered the youth, “at three this afternoon. She drops down-coast to Punta Soledad to complete her cargo of fruit. From there she sails for New Orleans without delay.”

“Sir,” answered the young man, “at three this afternoon. She heads down the coast to Punta Soledad to finish loading her cargo of fruit. From there, she will sail to New Orleans without delay.”

Bueno!” said Goodwin. “These letters may wait yet awhile.”

Good!” said Goodwin. “These letters can wait a little longer.”

The secretary returned to his cigarette under the mango tree.

The secretary went back to his cigarette under the mango tree.

“In round numbers,” said Goodwin, facing Blythe squarely, “how much money do you owe in this town, not including the sums you have ‘borrowed’ from me?”

“In rough estimates,” said Goodwin, looking directly at Blythe, “how much money do you owe in this town, not counting the amounts you’ve ‘borrowed’ from me?”

“Five hundred—at a rough guess,” answered Blythe, lightly.

“Five hundred—just a rough estimate,” replied Blythe, casually.

“Go somewhere in the town and draw up a schedule of your debts,” said Goodwin. “Come back here in two hours, and I will send Manuel with the money to pay them. I will also have a decent outfit of clothing ready for you. You will sail on the Ariel at three. Manuel will accompany you as far as the deck of the steamer. There he will hand you one thousand dollars in cash. I suppose that we needn’t discuss what you will be expected to do in return.”

“Go somewhere in town and make a list of your debts,” said Goodwin. “Come back here in two hours, and I’ll send Manuel with the money to pay them off. I’ll also have a nice set of clothes ready for you. You’ll be sailing on the Ariel at three. Manuel will go with you to the deck of the ship. There, he’ll give you one thousand dollars in cash. I guess we don’t need to talk about what you’ll be expected to do in return.”

“Oh, I understand,” piped Blythe, cheerily. “I was asleep all the time on the cot under Madama Ortiz’s orange trees; and I shake off the dust of Coralio forever. I’ll play fair. No more of the lotus for me. Your proposition is O. K. You’re a good fellow, Goodwin; and I let you off light. I’ll agree to everything. But in the meantime—I’ve a devil of a thirst on, old man—”

“Oh, I get it,” Blythe said cheerfully. “I was just sleeping the whole time on the cot under Madama Ortiz’s orange trees; and I’m done with Coralio for good. I’ll play fair. No more of the lotus for me. Your suggestion is good. You’re a decent guy, Goodwin; and I’m going to let you off easy. I’ll agree to everything. But in the meantime—I’m really thirsty, man—”

“Not a centavo,” said Goodwin, firmly, “until you are on board the Ariel. You would be drunk in thirty minutes if you had money now.”

“Not a centavo,” said Goodwin, firmly, “until you’re on board the Ariel. You’d be drunk in thirty minutes if you had money now.”

But he noticed the blood-streaked eyeballs, the relaxed form and the shaking hands of “Beelzebub;” and he stepped into the dining room through the low window, and brought out a glass and a decanter of brandy.

But he noticed the blood-streaked eyes, the limp body, and the trembling hands of “Beelzebub;” so he stepped into the dining room through the low window and grabbed a glass and a bottle of brandy.

“Take a bracer, anyway, before you go,” he proposed, even as a man to the friend whom he entertains.

“Have a drink before you go,” he suggested, like a host offering to a friend he’s entertaining.

“Beelzebub” Blythe’s eyes glistened at the sight of the solace for which his soul burned. To-day for the first time his poisoned nerves had been denied their steadying dose; and their retort was a mounting torment. He grasped the decanter and rattled its crystal mouth against the glass in his trembling hand. He flushed the glass, and then stood erect, holding it aloft for an instant. For one fleeting moment he held his head above the drowning waves of his abyss. He nodded easily at Goodwin, raised his brimming glass and murmured a “health” that men had used in his ancient Paradise Lost. And then so suddenly that he spilled the brandy over his hand, he set down his glass, untasted.

“Beelzebub” Blythe’s eyes sparkled at the sight of the comfort his soul craved. Today, for the first time, he had been denied his usual dose to calm his frayed nerves; their reaction was an escalating agony. He grabbed the decanter and knocked its crystal mouth against the glass in his shaking hand. He filled the glass and then stood tall, holding it up for a moment. For a brief second, he lifted his head above the suffocating waves of his despair. He casually nodded at Goodwin, raised his full glass, and murmured a “cheers” that people had used back in his ancient Paradise Lost. And then, so suddenly he spilled the brandy over his hand as he set down his glass, untouched.

“In two hours,” his dry lips muttered to Goodwin, as he marched down the steps and turned his face toward the town.

“In two hours,” his dry lips muttered to Goodwin, as he walked down the steps and faced the town.

In the edge of the cool banana grove “Beelzebub” halted, and snapped the tongue of his belt buckle into another hole.

In the edge of the cool banana grove, "Beelzebub" stopped and clicked the tongue of his belt buckle into another hole.

“I couldn’t do it,” he explained, feverishly, to the waving banana fronds. “I wanted to, but I couldn’t. A gentleman can’t drink with the man that he blackmails.”

“I couldn’t do it,” he explained, anxiously, to the swaying banana leaves. “I wanted to, but I just couldn’t. A gentleman can’t drink with the guy he’s blackmailing.”

XII
SHOES

John De Graffenreid Atwood ate of the lotus, root, stem, and flower. The tropics gobbled him up. He plunged enthusiastically into his work, which was to try to forget Rosine.

John De Graffenreid Atwood consumed the lotus—root, stem, and flower. The tropics consumed him. He threw himself into his work, which was to try to forget Rosine.

Now, they who dine on the lotus rarely consume it plain. There is a sauce au diable that goes with it; and the distillers are the chefs who prepare it. And on Johnny’s menu card it read “brandy.” With a bottle between them, he and Billy Keogh would sit on the porch of the little consulate at night and roar out great, indecorous songs, until the natives, slipping hastily past, would shrug a shoulder and mutter things to themselves about the “Americanos diablos.”

Now, those who eat the lotus rarely have it plain. There's a sauce au diable that goes with it, and the distillers are the chefs who make it. On Johnny's menu, it said "brandy." With a bottle between them, he and Billy Keogh would sit on the porch of the small consulate at night and sing loud, inappropriate songs, until the locals, quickly passing by, would shrug their shoulders and mumble to themselves about the "Americanos diablos."

One day Johnny’s mozo brought the mail and dumped it on the table. Johnny leaned from his hammock, and fingered the four or five letters dejectedly. Keogh was sitting on the edge of the table chopping lazily with a paper knife at the legs of a centipede that was crawling among the stationery. Johnny was in that phase of lotus-eating when all the world tastes bitter in one’s mouth.

One day, Johnny’s mozo brought the mail and dropped it on the table. Johnny leaned out of his hammock and absently fiddled with the four or five letters. Keogh was sitting on the edge of the table, lazily chopping at the legs of a centipede that was crawling among the stationery with a paper knife. Johnny was in that mood where everything in the world feels bitter.

“Same old thing!” he complained. “Fool people writing for information about the country. They want to know all about raising fruit, and how to make a fortune without work. Half of ’em don’t even send stamps for a reply. They think a consul hasn’t anything to do but write letters. Slit those envelopes for me, old man, and see what they want. I’m feeling too rocky to move.”

“Same old thing!” he complained. “People are so clueless writing in for information about the country. They want to know everything about growing fruit and how to get rich without doing any work. Half of them don’t even send stamps for a reply. They think a consul just sits around writing letters all day. Open those envelopes for me, buddy, and see what they want. I’m feeling too rough to move.”

Keogh, acclimated beyond all possibility of ill-humour, drew his chair to the table with smiling compliance on his rose-pink countenance, and began to slit open the letters. Four of them were from citizens in various parts of the United States who seemed to regard the consul at Coralio as a cyclopædia of information. They asked long lists of questions, numerically arranged, about the climate, products, possibilities, laws, business chances, and statistics of the country in which the consul had the honour of representing his own government.

Keogh, feeling cheerful and without a trace of annoyance, pulled his chair up to the table with a friendly smile on his bright pink face and started to open the letters. Four of them were from people in different parts of the United States who seemed to see the consul at Coralio as a source of endless information. They asked detailed questions, listed out in numbers, about the climate, products, opportunities, laws, business prospects, and statistics of the country where the consul was proud to represent his government.

“Write ’em, please, Billy,” said that inert official, “just a line, referring them to the latest consular report. Tell ’em the State Department will be delighted to furnish the literary gems. Sign my name. Don’t let your pen scratch, Billy; it’ll keep me awake.”

“Please write them, Billy,” said the unresponsive official, “just a brief note, pointing them to the latest consular report. Let them know the State Department will be happy to provide the literary gems. Sign my name. Don’t let your pen scratch, Billy; it’ll keep me awake.”

“Don’t snore,” said Keogh, amiably, “and I’ll do your work for you. You need a corps of assistants, anyhow. Don’t see how you ever get out a report. Wake up a minute!—here’s one more letter—it’s from your own town, too—Dalesburg.”

“Don’t snore,” Keogh said with a friendly tone, “and I’ll handle your work for you. You really need a team of assistants, anyway. I don’t know how you manage to put out a report. Wake up for a second!—here’s another letter—it’s from your hometown too—Dalesburg.”

“That so?” murmured Johnny showing a mild and obligatory interest. “What’s it about?”

“That so?” Johnny murmured, showing a casual and polite interest. “What’s it about?”

“Postmaster writes,” explained Keogh. “Says a citizen of the town wants some facts and advice from you. Says the citizen has an idea in his head of coming down where you are and opening a shoe store. Wants to know if you think the business would pay. Says he’s heard of the boom along this coast, and wants to get in on the ground floor.”

“Postmaster writes,” Keogh explained. “Says a local resident wants some information and advice from you. Says the resident is thinking about coming down to where you are and opening a shoe store. Wants to know if you think the business would be profitable. Says he’s heard about the boom along this coast and wants to get in on the ground floor.”

In spite of the heat and his bad temper, Johnny’s hammock swayed with his laughter. Keogh laughed too; and the pet monkey on the top shelf of the bookcase chattered in shrill sympathy with the ironical reception of the letter from Dalesburg.

In spite of the heat and his bad mood, Johnny’s hammock swayed with his laughter. Keogh laughed too, and the pet monkey on the top shelf of the bookcase chattered in high-pitched agreement with the sarcastic response to the letter from Dalesburg.

“Great bunions!” exclaimed the consul. “Shoe store! What’ll they ask about next, I wonder? Overcoat factory, I reckon. Say, Billy—of our 3,000 citizens, how many do you suppose ever had on a pair of shoes?”

“Great bunions!” exclaimed the consul. “Shoe store! What do you think they’ll come up with next? An overcoat factory, I bet. Hey, Billy—out of our 3,000 citizens, how many do you think have ever worn a pair of shoes?”

Keogh reflected judicially.

Keogh reflected thoughtfully.

“Let’s see—there’s you and me and—”

“Let’s see—there’s you and me and—”

“Not me,” said Johnny, promptly and incorrectly, holding up a foot encased in a disreputable deerskin zapato. “I haven’t been a victim to shoes in months.”

“Not me,” said Johnny, quickly and incorrectly, holding up a foot encased in a shabby deerskin shoe. “I haven’t fallen for shoes in months.”

“But you’ve got ’em, though,” went on Keogh. “And there’s Goodwin and Blanchard and Geddie and old Lutz and Doc Gregg and that Italian that’s agent for the banana company, and there’s old Delgado—no; he wears sandals. And, oh, yes; there’s Madama Ortiz, ‘what kapes the hotel’—she had on a pair of red slippers at the baile the other night. And Miss Pasa, her daughter, that went to school in the States—she brought back some civilized notions in the way of footgear. And there’s the comandante’s sister that dresses up her feet on feast-days—and Mrs. Geddie, who wears a two with a Castilian instep—and that’s about all the ladies. Let’s see—don’t some of the soldiers at the cuartel—no: that’s so; they’re allowed shoes only when on the march. In barracks they turn their little toeses out to grass.”

“But you've got them, though,” Keogh continued. “And there's Goodwin and Blanchard and Geddie and old Lutz and Doc Gregg and that Italian who's the agent for the banana company, and there's old Delgado—no; he wears sandals. And, oh, yes; there's Madama Ortiz, 'who manages the hotel'—she had on a pair of red slippers at the baile the other night. And Miss Pasa, her daughter, who went to school in the States—she brought back some modern ideas about footwear. And there's the comandante's sister who dresses up her feet on feast days—and Mrs. Geddie, who wears a size two with a Castilian instep—and that's about all the ladies. Let's see—don't some of the soldiers at the cuartel—no: that's right; they're only allowed to wear shoes when they're on the march. In barracks, they let their little feet go barefoot.”

“’Bout right,” agreed the consul. “Not over twenty out of the three thousand ever felt leather on their walking arrangements. Oh, yes; Coralio is just the town for an enterprising shoe store—that doesn’t want to part with its goods. Wonder if old Patterson is trying to jolly me! He always was full of things he called jokes. Write him a letter, Billy. I’ll dictate it. We’ll jolly him back a few.”

“Sounds about right,” the consul agreed. “Not more than twenty out of the three thousand have ever worn shoes. Oh, for sure; Coralio is the perfect place for an ambitious shoe store—that doesn’t want to sell any of its stock. I wonder if old Patterson is just messing with me! He’s always had a lot of what he called jokes. Write him a letter, Billy. I’ll dictate it. Let’s play around with him a bit.”

Keogh dipped his pen, and wrote at Johnny’s dictation. With many pauses, filled in with smoke and sundry travellings of the bottle and glasses, the following reply to the Dalesburg communication was perpetrated:

Keogh dipped his pen and wrote down Johnny’s words. With many pauses, filled with smoke and various trips to the bottle and glasses, the following reply to the Dalesburg message was created:

Mr. Obadiah Patterson,
    Dalesburg, Ala.
    Dear Sir: In reply to your favour of July 2d, I have the honour to inform you that, according to my opinion, there is no place on the habitable globe that presents to the eye stronger evidence of the need of a first-class shoe store than does the town of Coralio. There are 3,000 inhabitants in the place, and not a single shoe store! The situation speaks for itself. This coast is rapidly becoming the goal of enterprising business men, but the shoe business is one that has been sadly overlooked or neglected. In fact, there are a considerable number of our citizens actually without shoes at present.
    Besides the want above mentioned, there is also a crying need for a brewery, a college of higher mathematics, a coal yard, and a clean and intellectual Punch and Judy show. I have the honour to be, sir,

Mr. Obadiah Patterson,
    Dalesburg, Ala.
    Dear Sir: In response to your letter from July 2nd, I am pleased to inform you that I believe there is no place on Earth that shows a greater need for a top-notch shoe store than the town of Coralio. There are 3,000 people living here, and not a single shoe store! The situation is clear. This area is quickly becoming a hub for ambitious businesspeople, but the shoe industry has been sadly overlooked. In fact, a significant number of our residents currently don’t even have shoes.
    In addition to this need, there is also a strong demand for a brewery, a college for higher mathematics, a coal yard, and a clean, educational Punch and Judy show. I remain, sir,

Your Obt. Servant,
JOHN DE GRAFFENREID ATWOOD,
U. S. Consul at Coralio.

Your Obt. Servant,
JOHN DE GRAFFENREID ATWOOD,
U. S. Consul at Coralio.

P.S.—Hello! Uncle Obadiah. How’s the old burg racking along? What would the government do without you and me? Look out for a green-headed parrot and a bunch of bananas soon, from your old friend

P.S.—Hey! Uncle Obadiah. How’s things going in the old town? What would the government do without you and me? Keep an eye out for a green-headed parrot and a bunch of bananas coming your way soon, from your old friend

JOHNNY.

JOHNNY.

“I throw in that postscript,” explained the consul, “so Uncle Obadiah won’t take offence at the official tone of the letter! Now, Billy, you get that correspondence fixed up, and send Pancho to the post-office with it. The Ariadne takes the mail out to-morrow if they make up that load of fruit to-day.”

“I added that postscript,” the consul explained, “so Uncle Obadiah won’t be offended by the formal tone of the letter! Now, Billy, you get that correspondence sorted out and send Pancho to the post office with it. The Ariadne leaves with the mail tomorrow if they finish packing that load of fruit today.”

The night programme in Coralio never varied. The recreations of the people were soporific and flat. They wandered about, barefoot and aimless, speaking lowly and smoking cigar or cigarette. Looking down on the dimly lighted ways one seemed to see a threading maze of brunette ghosts tangled with a procession of insane fireflies. In some houses the thrumming of lugubrious guitars added to the depression of the triste night. Giant tree-frogs rattled in the foliage as loudly as the end man’s “bones” in a minstrel troupe. By nine o’clock the streets were almost deserted.

The night scene in Coralio never changed. The people's activities were dull and unexciting. They meandered around, barefoot and aimlessly, speaking quietly and smoking cigars or cigarettes. Looking down at the faintly lit paths, it seemed like a winding maze of dark figures mixed with a swarm of crazy fireflies. In some houses, the mournful strumming of guitars added to the gloom of the triste night. Giant tree frogs croaked in the leaves as loudly as the sound of “bones” in a minstrel show. By nine o'clock, the streets were nearly empty.

Nor at the consulate was there often a change of bill. Keogh would come there nightly, for Coralio’s one cool place was the little seaward porch of that official residence.

Nor was there often a change of bill at the consulate. Keogh would go there every night, because Coralio’s one cool spot was the small seaside porch of that official residence.

The brandy would be kept moving; and before midnight sentiment would begin to stir in the heart of the self-exiled consul. Then he would relate to Keogh the story of his ended romance. Each night Keogh would listen patiently to the tale, and be ready with untiring sympathy.

The brandy would keep flowing, and before midnight, feelings would start to awaken in the self-exiled consul's heart. Then he would tell Keogh the story of his lost love. Every night, Keogh would listen patiently to the story and offer endless sympathy.

“But don’t you think for a minute”—thus Johnny would always conclude his woeful narrative—“that I’m grieving about that girl, Billy. I’ve forgotten her. She never enters my mind. If she were to enter that door right now, my pulse wouldn’t gain a beat. That’s all over long ago.”

“But don’t think for a second”—that’s how Johnny would always finish his sad story—“that I’m upset about that girl, Billy. I’ve moved on. She doesn’t cross my mind. If she walked through that door right now, my heart wouldn’t skip a beat. That’s ancient history.”

“Don’t I know it?” Keogh would answer. “Of course you’ve forgotten her. Proper thing to do. Wasn’t quite O. K. of her to listen to the knocks that—er—Dink Pawson kept giving you.”

“Don’t I know it?” Keogh would reply. “Of course you’ve forgotten her. That’s the right thing to do. It wasn’t really cool of her to pay attention to the knocks that—uh—Dink Pawson kept giving you.”

“Pink Dawson!”—a world of contempt would be in Johnny’s tones—“Poor white trash! That’s what he was. Had five hundred acres of farming land, though; and that counted. Maybe I’ll have a chance to get back at him some day. The Dawsons weren’t anybody. Everybody in Alabama knows the Atwoods. Say, Billy—did you know my mother was a De Graffenreid?”

“Pink Dawson!”—there was a world of disdain in Johnny's voice—“He was just poor white trash! But he had five hundred acres of farmland, and that actually meant something. Maybe someday I’ll get my chance to settle the score. The Dawsons didn’t matter. Everyone in Alabama knows the Atwoods. By the way, Billy—did you know my mom was a De Graffenreid?”

“Why, no,” Keogh would say; “is that so?” He had heard it some three hundred times.

“Why, no,” Keogh would say; “is that true?” He had heard it about three hundred times.

“Fact. The De Graffenreids of Hancock County. But I never think of that girl any more, do I, Billy?”

“Fact. The De Graffenreids of Hancock County. But I don’t think about that girl anymore, do I, Billy?”

“Not for a minute, my boy,” would be the last sounds heard by the conqueror of Cupid.

“Not for a second, my boy,” would be the last words heard by the conqueror of Cupid.

At this point Johnny would fall into a gentle slumber, and Keogh would saunter out to his own shack under the calabash tree at the edge of the plaza.

At this point, Johnny would drift off into a peaceful sleep, and Keogh would stroll over to his own shack under the calabash tree at the edge of the plaza.

In a day or two the letter from the Dalesburg postmaster and its answer had been forgotten by the Coralio exiles. But on the 26th day of July the fruit of the reply appeared upon the tree of events.

In a day or two, the letter from the Dalesburg postmaster and its response were forgotten by the Coralio exiles. But on July 26th, the outcome of the reply became evident in the unfolding events.

The Andador, a fruit steamer that visited Coralio regularly, drew into the offing and anchored. The beach was lined with spectators while the quarantine doctor and the custom-house crew rowed out to attend to their duties.

The Andador, a fruit steamer that frequently stopped by Coralio, approached the shore and anchored. The beach was filled with onlookers as the quarantine doctor and the customs crew rowed out to do their jobs.

An hour later Billy Keogh lounged into the consulate, clean and cool in his linen clothes, and grinning like a pleased shark.

An hour later, Billy Keogh strolled into the consulate, looking fresh and stylish in his linen clothes, with a grin like a satisfied shark.

“Guess what?” he said to Johnny, lounging in his hammock.

“Guess what?” he said to Johnny, relaxing in his hammock.

“Too hot to guess,” said Johnny, lazily.

“Way too hot to guess,” Johnny said, lazily.

“Your shoe-store man’s come,” said Keogh, rolling the sweet morsel on his tongue, “with a stock of goods big enough to supply the continent as far down as Terra del Fuego. They’re carting his cases over to the custom-house now. Six barges full they brought ashore and have paddled back for the rest. Oh, ye saints in glory! won’t there be regalements in the air when he gets onto the joke and has an interview with Mr. Consul? It’ll be worth nine years in the tropics just to witness that one joyful moment.”

“Your shoe store guy’s here,” said Keogh, savoring the sweet treat on his tongue, “with enough stock to supply the entire continent all the way down to Tierra del Fuego. They’re bringing his goods to the customs house right now. They brought six barges full and have gone back for the rest. Oh, heavenly saints! There are going to be celebrations in the air when he gets the joke and meets with Mr. Consul. It’ll be worth nine years in the tropics just to see that one amazing moment.”

Keogh loved to take his mirth easily. He selected a clean place on the matting and lay upon the floor. The walls shook with his enjoyment. Johnny turned half over and blinked.

Keogh loved to take his laughter lightly. He found a clean spot on the mat and lay down on the floor. The walls shook with his joy. Johnny turned halfway over and blinked.

“Don’t tell me,” he said, “that anybody was fool enough to take that letter seriously.”

“Don’t tell me,” he said, “that anyone was dumb enough to take that letter seriously.”

“Four-thousand-dollar stock of goods!” gasped Keogh, in ecstasy. “Talk about coals to Newcastle! Why didn’t he take a ship-load of palm-leaf fans to Spitzbergen while he was about it? Saw the old codger on the beach. You ought to have been there when he put on his specs and squinted at the five hundred or so barefooted citizens standing around.”

“Four thousand dollars worth of goods!” Keogh exclaimed, thrilled. “Talk about bringing coals to Newcastle! Why didn’t he just take a shipload of palm-leaf fans to Spitzbergen while he was at it? I saw that old guy on the beach. You should have seen him when he put on his glasses and squinted at the five hundred or so barefoot citizens hanging around.”

“Are you telling the truth, Billy?” asked the consul, weakly.

“Are you being honest, Billy?” asked the consul, feebly.

“Am I? You ought to see the buncoed gentleman’s daughter he brought along. Looks! She makes the brick-dust señoritas here look like tar-babies.”

“Am I? You should see the scammed guy’s daughter he brought with him. Wow! She makes the local girls here look like they’re made of tar.”

“Go on,” said Johnny, “if you can stop that asinine giggling. I hate to see a grown man make a laughing hyena of himself.”

“Go on,” Johnny said, “if you can stop that stupid giggling. I can’t stand seeing a grown man make a fool of himself like that.”

“Name is Hemstetter,” went on Keogh. “He’s a— Hello! what’s the matter now?”

“Name is Hemstetter,” Keogh continued. “He’s a— Hello! What’s going on now?”

Johnny’s moccasined feet struck the floor with a thud as he wriggled out of his hammock.

Johnny’s moccasined feet hit the floor with a thud as he wriggled out of his hammock.

“Get up, you idiot,” he said, sternly, “or I’ll brain you with this inkstand. That’s Rosine and her father. Gad! what a drivelling idiot old Patterson is! Get up, here, Billy Keogh, and help me. What the devil are we going to do? Has all the world gone crazy?”

“Get up, you idiot,” he said firmly, “or I’ll hit you with this inkstand. That’s Rosine and her dad. Wow! What a complete fool old Patterson is! Come on, Billy Keogh, and help me. What the hell are we going to do? Has everyone lost their mind?”

Keogh rose and dusted himself. He managed to regain a decorous demeanour.

Keogh got up and brushed himself off. He managed to regain a proper demeanor.

“Situation has got to be met, Johnny,” he said, with some success at seriousness. “I didn’t think about its being your girl until you spoke. First thing to do is to get them comfortable quarters. You go down and face the music, and I’ll trot out to Goodwin’s and see if Mrs. Goodwin won’t take them in. They’ve got the decentest house in town.”

“Things have to be dealt with, Johnny,” he said, trying to be serious. “I didn’t realize she was your girl until you mentioned it. The first thing we need to do is get them comfortable accommodations. You go down and confront the issue, and I’ll head over to Goodwin’s and see if Mrs. Goodwin will take them in. They have the nicest house in town.”

“Bless you, Billy!” said the consul. “I knew you wouldn’t desert me. The world’s bound to come to an end, but maybe we can stave it off for a day or two.”

“Bless you, Billy!” said the consul. “I knew you wouldn’t abandon me. The world might be ending, but maybe we can put it off for a day or two.”

Keogh hoisted his umbrella and set out for Goodwin’s house. Johnny put on his coat and hat. He picked up the brandy bottle, but set it down again without drinking, and marched bravely down to the beach.

Keogh lifted his umbrella and headed out to Goodwin’s house. Johnny put on his coat and hat. He grabbed the brandy bottle but put it down again without drinking, and confidently walked down to the beach.

In the shade of the custom-house walls he found Mr. Hemstetter and Rosine surrounded by a mass of gaping citizens. The customs officers were ducking and scraping, while the captain of the Andador interpreted the business of the new arrivals. Rosine looked healthy and very much alive. She was gazing at the strange scenes around her with amused interest. There was a faint blush upon her round cheek as she greeted her old admirer. Mr. Hemstetter shook hands with Johnny in a very friendly way. He was an oldish, impractical man—one of that numerous class of erratic business men who are forever dissatisfied, and seeking a change.

In the shade of the customs house walls, he found Mr. Hemstetter and Rosine surrounded by a crowd of curious citizens. The customs officers were bowing and scraping, while the captain of the Andador explained the situation for the newcomers. Rosine looked healthy and vibrant. She was watching the strange sights around her with amused curiosity. There was a slight blush on her round cheek as she greeted her old admirer. Mr. Hemstetter shook hands with Johnny in a very friendly manner. He was an older, impractical man—one of those many erratic business types who are always dissatisfied and looking for a change.

“I am very glad to see you, John—may I call you John?” he said. “Let me thank you for your prompt answer to our postmaster’s letter of inquiry. He volunteered to write to you on my behalf. I was looking about for something different in the way of a business in which the profits would be greater. I had noticed in the papers that this coast was receiving much attention from investors. I am extremely grateful for your advice to come. I sold out everything that I possess, and invested the proceeds in as fine a stock of shoes as could be bought in the North. You have a picturesque town here, John. I hope business will be as good as your letter justifies me in expecting.”

“I’m really glad to see you, John—can I call you John?” he said. “I want to thank you for your quick response to our postmaster’s inquiry. He offered to write to you on my behalf. I was looking for something different in business with better profits. I noticed in the papers that this coast was getting a lot of attention from investors. I’m really thankful for your advice to come here. I sold everything I had and invested the money in a great stock of shoes that could be bought up north. You have a charming town here, John. I hope business is as good as your letter led me to expect.”

Johnny’s agony was abbreviated by the arrival of Keogh, who hurried up with the news that Mrs. Goodwin would be much pleased to place rooms at the disposal of Mr. Hemstetter and his daughter. So there Mr. Hemstetter and Rosine were at once conducted and left to recuperate from the fatigue of the voyage, while Johnny went down to see that the cases of shoes were safely stored in the customs warehouse pending their examination by the officials. Keogh, grinning like a shark, skirmished about to find Goodwin, to instruct him not to expose to Mr. Hemstetter the true state of Coralio as a shoe market until Johnny had been given a chance to redeem the situation, if such a thing were possible.

Johnny’s pain was cut short by Keogh’s arrival, who rushed over with the news that Mrs. Goodwin would be happy to offer rooms to Mr. Hemstetter and his daughter. So, Mr. Hemstetter and Rosine were quickly shown to their accommodations to recover from the exhausting journey, while Johnny went downstairs to ensure that the boxes of shoes were securely stored in the customs warehouse until the officials could inspect them. Keogh, grinning like a shark, scampered around to find Goodwin, giving him instructions not to reveal the true state of Coralio as a shoe market to Mr. Hemstetter until Johnny had a chance to fix the situation, if that was at all possible.

That night the consul and Keogh held a desperate consultation on the breezy porch of the consulate.

That night, the consul and Keogh had a serious discussion on the breezy porch of the consulate.

“Send ’em back home,” began Keogh, reading Johnny’s thoughts.

"Send them back home," Keogh started, reading Johnny's thoughts.

“I would,” said Johnny, after a little silence; “but I’ve been lying to you, Billy.”

“I would,” Johnny said after a brief pause, “but I’ve been lying to you, Billy.”

“All right about that,” said Keogh, affably.

“All right about that,” said Keogh, friendly as ever.

“I’ve told you hundreds of times,” said Johnny, slowly, “that I had forgotten that girl, haven’t I?”

“I’ve told you hundreds of times,” Johnny said slowly, “that I forgot about that girl, haven’t I?”

“About three hundred and seventy-five,” admitted the monument of patience.

“About three hundred and seventy-five,” admitted the embodiment of patience.

“I lied,” repeated the consul, “every time. I never forgot her for one minute. I was an obstinate ass for running away just because she said ‘No’ once. And I was too proud a fool to go back. I talked with Rosine a few minutes this evening up at Goodwin’s. I found out one thing. You remember that farmer fellow who was always after her?”

“I lied,” the consul repeated. “Every single time. I never forgot her for a moment. I was such a stubborn idiot for running away just because she said ‘No’ once. And I was too proud and foolish to go back. I talked with Rosine for a few minutes this evening up at Goodwin’s. I found out one thing. Do you remember that farmer guy who was always pursuing her?”

“Dink Pawson?” asked Keogh.

“Dink Pawson?” Keogh asked.

“Pink Dawson. Well, he wasn’t a hill of beans to her. She says she didn’t believe a word of the things he told her about me. But I’m sewed up now, Billy. That tomfool letter we sent ruined whatever chance I had left. She’ll despise me when she finds out that her old father has been made the victim of a joke that a decent school boy wouldn’t have been guilty of. Shoes! Why he couldn’t sell twenty pairs of shoes in Coralio if he kept store here for twenty years. You put a pair of shoes on one of these Caribs or Spanish brown boys and what’d he do? Stand on his head and squeal until he’d kicked ’em off. None of ’em ever wore shoes and they never will. If I send ’em back home I’ll have to tell the whole story, and what’ll she think of me? I want that girl worse than ever, Billy, and now when she’s in reach I’ve lost her forever because I tried to be funny when the thermometer was at 102.”

“Pink Dawson. To her, he was nothing. She says she didn’t believe a word he said about me. But I'm stuck now, Billy. That stupid letter we sent ruined whatever chance I had left. She’ll hate me when she finds out her old dad has been the butt of a joke that any decent schoolboy wouldn’t pull. Shoes! He couldn't sell twenty pairs of shoes in Coralio even if he ran the store here for twenty years. You put a pair of shoes on one of these Caribs or Spanish brown boys, and what would he do? Stand on his head and squeal until he kicked them off. None of them have ever worn shoes, and they never will. If I send them back home, I’ll have to tell the whole story, and what will she think of me? I want that girl more than ever, Billy, and now that she’s within reach, I’ve lost her forever because I tried to be funny when the thermometer was at 102.”

“Keep cheerful,” said the optimistic Keogh. “And let ’em open the store. I’ve been busy myself this afternoon. We can stir up a temporary boom in foot-gear anyhow. I’ll buy six pairs when the doors open. I’ve been around and seen all the fellows and explained the catastrophe. They’ll all buy shoes like they was centipedes. Frank Goodwin will take cases of ’em. The Geddies want about eleven pairs between ’em. Clancy is going to invest the savings of weeks, and even old Doc Gregg wants three pairs of alligator-hide slippers if they’ve got any tens. Blanchard got a look at Miss Hemstetter; and as he’s a Frenchman, no less than a dozen pairs will do for him.”

“Stay positive,” said the upbeat Keogh. “And let’s open the store. I’ve been busy this afternoon. We can create a temporary surge in footwear sales anyway. I’ll buy six pairs as soon as the doors open. I’ve talked to everyone and explained what happened. They’re all going to buy shoes like they’re centipedes. Frank Goodwin will take a bunch of them. The Geddies want about eleven pairs combined. Clancy is ready to spend his savings from weeks of work, and even old Doc Gregg wants three pairs of alligator-hide slippers if they have any size tens. Blanchard saw Miss Hemstetter; since he’s French, he’ll need no less than a dozen pairs.”

“A dozen customers,” said Johnny, “for a $4,000 stock of shoes! It won’t work. There’s a big problem here to figure out. You go home, Billy, and leave me alone. I’ve got to work at it all by myself. Take that bottle of Three-star along with you—no, sir; not another ounce of booze for the United States consul. I’ll sit here to-night and pull out the think stop. If there’s a soft place on this proposition anywhere I’ll land on it. If there isn’t there’ll be another wreck to the credit of the gorgeous tropics.”

“A dozen customers,” Johnny said, “for a $4,000 stock of shoes! That’s not going to work. We’ve got a big problem to solve here. You go home, Billy, and leave me alone. I need to figure this out on my own. Take that bottle of Three-star with you—no, thanks; I’m not having another drop of booze for the United States consul. I’ll sit here tonight and get to thinking. If there’s an easy way to make this work anywhere, I’ll find it. If not, it’ll just be another disaster for the beautiful tropics.”

Keogh left, feeling that he could be of no use. Johnny laid a handful of cigars on a table and stretched himself in a steamer chair. When the sudden daylight broke, silvering the harbour ripples, he was still sitting there. Then he got up, whistling a little tune, and took his bath.

Keogh left, feeling like he was no help. Johnny put a handful of cigars on a table and settled into a steamer chair. When the bright daylight came in, glimmering on the harbor waves, he was still there. Then he stood up, whistling a little tune, and took his bath.

At nine o’clock he walked down to the dingy little cable office and hung for half an hour over a blank. The result of his application was the following message, which he signed and had transmitted at a cost of $33:

At nine o’clock, he walked down to the shabby little cable office and waited for half an hour over a blank. The outcome of his request was the following message, which he signed and sent for a fee of $33:

TO PINKNEY DAWSON,
    Dalesburg, Ala.
    Draft for $100 comes to you next mail. Ship me immediately 500 pounds stiff, dry cockleburrs. New use here in arts. Market price twenty cents pound. Further orders likely. Rush.

TO PINKNEY DAWSON,
    Dalesburg, Ala.
    I’ll send you a $100 draft in the next mail. Please ship me 500 pounds of stiff, dry cockleburs right away. There’s a new use for them in arts here. The market price is twenty cents per pound. More orders are likely. Hurry.

XIII
SHIPS

Within a week a suitable building had been secured in the Calle Grande, and Mr. Hemstetter’s stock of shoes arranged upon their shelves. The rent of the store was moderate; and the stock made a fine showing of neat white boxes, attractively displayed.

Within a week, a suitable building was secured on Calle Grande, and Mr. Hemstetter’s inventory of shoes was arranged on the shelves. The rent for the store was reasonable, and the stock looked great in neat white boxes, attractively displayed.

Johnny’s friends stood by him loyally. On the first day Keogh strolled into the store in a casual kind of way about once every hour, and bought shoes. After he had purchased a pair each of extension soles, congress gaiters, button kids, low-quartered calfs, dancing pumps, rubber boots, tans of various hues, tennis shoes and flowered slippers, he sought out Johnny to be prompted as to names of other kinds that he might inquire for. The other English-speaking residents also played their parts nobly by buying often and liberally. Keogh was grand marshal, and made them distribute their patronage, thus keeping up a fair run of custom for several days.

Johnny's friends stood by him loyally. On the first day, Keogh casually strolled into the store about once an hour and bought shoes. After buying a pair each of extension soles, congress gaiters, button kids, low-quartered calfs, dancing pumps, rubber boots, various tan shades, tennis shoes, and flowered slippers, he sought out Johnny to get suggestions for other types he could ask about. The other English-speaking residents also played their parts well by buying frequently and generously. Keogh was the grand marshal and encouraged them to spread their purchases around, keeping a steady flow of customers for several days.

Mr. Hemstetter was gratified by the amount of business done thus far; but expressed surprise that the natives were so backward with their custom.

Mr. Hemstetter was pleased with the amount of business done so far, but he was surprised that the locals were so slow with their customs.

“Oh, they’re awfully shy,” explained Johnny, as he wiped his forehead nervously. “They’ll get the habit pretty soon. They’ll come with a rush when they do come.”

“Oh, they’re really shy,” Johnny said, wiping his forehead nervously. “They’ll get the hang of it pretty soon. They’ll come rushing in when they finally do.”

One afternoon Keogh dropped into the consul’s office, chewing an unlighted cigar thoughtfully.

One afternoon, Keogh stopped by the consul’s office, thoughtfully chewing an unlit cigar.

“Got anything up your sleeve?” he inquired of Johnny. “If you have it’s about time to show it. If you can borrow some gent’s hat in the audience, and make a lot of customers for an idle stock of shoes come out of it, you’d better spiel. The boys have all laid in enough footwear to last ’em ten years; and there’s nothing doing in the shoe store but dolcy far nienty. I just came by there. Your venerable victim was standing in the door, gazing through his specs at the bare toes passing by his emporium. The natives here have got the true artistic temperament. Me and Clancy took eighteen tintypes this morning in two hours. There’s been but one pair of shoes sold all day. Blanchard went in and bought a pair of fur-lined house-slippers because he thought he saw Miss Hemstetter go into the store. I saw him throw the slippers into the lagoon afterwards.”

“Got anything up your sleeve?” he asked Johnny. “If you do, it’s about time to show it. If you can borrow a guy’s hat from the audience and make a bunch of customers for a pile of unsold shoes come out of it, you should do it. The guys have all stocked up on enough footwear to last them ten years; and there’s nothing happening in the shoe store except slow business. I just came from there. Your poor old victim was standing in the doorway, staring through his glasses at the bare feet walking by his shop. The locals here have the true artistic nature. Clancy and I took eighteen photos this morning in two hours. Only one pair of shoes has sold all day. Blanchard went in and bought a pair of fur-lined house slippers because he thought he saw Miss Hemstetter go into the store. I saw him toss the slippers into the lagoon afterward.”

“There’s a Mobile fruit steamer coming in to-morrow or next day,” said Johnny. “We can’t do anything until then.”

“There's a mobile fruit steamer coming tomorrow or the next day,” said Johnny. “We can't do anything until then.”

“What are you going to do—try to create a demand?”

“What are you going to do—try to create a demand?”

“Political economy isn’t your strong point,” said the consul, impudently. “You can’t create a demand. But you can create a necessity for a demand. That’s what I am going to do.”

“Political economy isn’t your strong suit,” said the consul, boldly. “You can’t create a demand. But you can create a necessity for a demand. That’s what I’m going to do.”

Two weeks after the consul sent his cable, a fruit steamer brought him a huge, mysterious brown bale of some unknown commodity. Johnny’s influence with the custom-house people was sufficiently strong for him to get the goods turned over to him without the usual inspection. He had the bale taken to the consulate and snugly stowed in the back room.

Two weeks after the consul sent his cable, a fruit steamer delivered a huge, mysterious brown bale of some unknown item. Johnny’s connections with the customs officials were strong enough for him to get the goods handed over without the usual inspection. He had the bale moved to the consulate and carefully stored in the back room.

That night he ripped open a corner of it and took out a handful of the cockleburrs. He examined them with the care with which a warrior examines his arms before he goes forth to battle for his lady-love and life. The burrs were the ripe August product, as hard as filberts, and bristling with spines as tough and sharp as needles. Johnny whistled softly a little tune, and went out to find Billy Keogh.

That night, he tore open a corner of it and pulled out a handful of the cockleburrs. He looked at them carefully, just like a warrior checks his weapons before heading out to fight for his love and life. The burrs were a ripe August harvest, hard as nuts, and covered in spines as tough and sharp as needles. Johnny softly whistled a little tune and went out to look for Billy Keogh.

Later in the night, when Coralio was steeped in slumber, he and Billy went forth into the deserted streets with their coats bulging like balloons. All up and down the Calle Grande they went, sowing the sharp burrs carefully in the sand, along the narrow sidewalks, in every foot of grass between the silent houses. And then they took the side streets and by-ways, missing none. No place where the foot of man, woman or child might fall was slighted. Many trips they made to and from the prickly hoard. And then, nearly at the dawn, they laid themselves down to rest calmly, as great generals do after planning a victory according to the revised tactics, and slept, knowing that they had sowed with the accuracy of Satan sowing tares and the perseverance of Paul planting.

Later that night, when Coralio was deep in sleep, he and Billy ventured out into the empty streets with their coats packed full like balloons. They walked up and down Calle Grande, carefully spreading the sharp burrs in the sand, along the narrow sidewalks, and in every patch of grass between the quiet houses. Then they took the side streets and alleys, leaving no place where a person, whether man, woman, or child, might step overlooked. They made many trips back and forth to the prickly stash. Finally, just before dawn, they lay down to rest peacefully, like great generals after strategizing a victory with their updated tactics, and slept, confident that they had scattered with the precision of Satan sowing weeds and the determination of Paul planting seeds.

With the rising sun came the purveyors of fruits and meats, and arranged their wares in and around the little market-house. At one end of the town near the seashore the market-house stood; and the sowing of the burrs had not been carried that far. The dealers waited long past the hour when their sales usually began. None came to buy. “Qué hay?” they began to exclaim, one to another.

With the rising sun came the vendors of fruits and meats, who set up their stalls in and around the small market house. The market house was located at one end of the town near the seashore, and the sowing of the burrs hadn’t reached that area yet. The sellers waited long past the time when their sales usually started. No one came to buy. "Qué hay?" they began to shout to each other.

At their accustomed time, from every ’dobe and palm hut and grass-thatched shack and dim patio glided women—black women, brown women, lemon-colored women, women dun and yellow and tawny. They were the marketers starting to purchase the family supply of cassava, plantains, meat, fowls, and tortillas. Décolleté they were and bare-armed and bare-footed, with a single skirt reaching below the knee. Stolid and ox-eyed, they stepped from their doorways into the narrow paths or upon the soft grass of the streets.

At their usual time, women glided out from every adobe and palm hut, grass-thatched shack, and dim patio—black women, brown women, lemon-colored women, women in shades of dun, yellow, and tawny. They were the marketers heading out to buy the family supplies of cassava, plantains, meat, fowl, and tortillas. They wore low-cut tops and had bare arms and feet, dressed in a single skirt that reached below the knee. Stoic and with big, expressive eyes, they stepped out from their doorways onto the narrow paths or the soft grass of the streets.

The first to emerge uttered ambiguous squeals, and raised one foot quickly. Another step and they sat down, with shrill cries of alarm, to pick at the new and painful insects that had stung them upon the feet. “Qué picadores diablos!” they screeched to one another across the narrow ways. Some tried the grass instead of the paths, but there they were also stung and bitten by the strange little prickly balls. They plumped down in the grass, and added their lamentations to those of their sisters in the sandy paths. All through the town was heard the plaint of the feminine jabber. The venders in the market still wondered why no customers came.

The first to come out made unclear squeals and quickly lifted one foot. After another step, they sat down, shrieking in alarm, to pick at the new and painful insects that had stung their feet. “What stinging devils!” they yelled to each other across the narrow paths. Some tried the grass instead of the walkways, but there they were also stung and bitten by the strange little prickly balls. They plopped down in the grass and joined their complaints to those of their sisters on the sandy paths. All over town, the cries of the women could be heard. The vendors in the market still wondered why no customers were coming.

Then men, lords of the earth, came forth. They, too, began to hop, to dance, to limp, and to curse. They stood stranded and foolish, or stooped to pluck at the scourge that attacked their feet and ankles. Some loudly proclaimed the pest to be poisonous spiders of an unknown species.

Then the men, masters of the land, came out. They also started to hop, dance, limp, and curse. They stood there looking lost and foolish, or they bent down to grab at the sores attacking their feet and ankles. Some loudly declared the plague to be poisonous spiders from an unknown species.

And then the children ran out for their morning romp. And now to the uproar was added the howls of limping infants and cockleburred childhood. Every minute the advancing day brought forth fresh victims.

And then the kids ran out for their morning play. Now the noise included the cries of hurt little ones and messy childhood adventures. With each passing minute, the advancing day brought even more victims.

Doña Maria Castillas y Buenventura de las Casas stepped from her honoured doorway, as was her daily custom, to procure fresh bread from the panaderia across the street. She was clad in a skirt of flowered yellow satin, a chemise of ruffled linen, and wore a purple mantilla from the looms of Spain. Her lemon-tinted feet, alas! were bare. Her progress was majestic, for were not her ancestors hidalgos of Aragon? Three steps she made across the velvety grass, and set her aristocratic sole upon a bunch of Johnny’s burrs. Doña Maria Castillas y Buenventura de las Casas emitted a yowl even as a wild-cat. Turning about, she fell upon hands and knees, and crawled—ay, like a beast of the field she crawled back to her honourable door-sill.

Doña Maria Castillas y Buenventura de las Casas stepped out of her honored doorway, as was her daily routine, to get fresh bread from the panaderia across the street. She wore a flowered yellow satin skirt, a ruffled linen top, and a purple mantilla made in Spain. Her lemon-colored feet, unfortunately, were bare. She moved with dignity, for weren’t her ancestors hidalgos from Aragon? After taking three steps across the soft grass, she stepped on a patch of Johnny’s burrs. Doña Maria Castillas y Buenventura de las Casas let out a yowl just like a wildcat. Turning around, she dropped to her hands and knees and crawled—oh, like a wild animal she crawled back to her respectable doorstep.

Don Señor Ildefonso Federico Valdazar, Juez de la Paz, weighing twenty stone, attempted to convey his bulk to the pulperia at the corner of the plaza in order to assuage his matutinal thirst. The first plunge of his unshod foot into the cool grass struck a concealed mine. Don Ildefonso fell like a crumpled cathedral, crying out that he had been fatally bitten by a deadly scorpion. Everywhere were the shoeless citizens hopping, stumbling, limping, and picking from their feet the venomous insects that had come in a single night to harass them.

Don Señor Ildefonso Federico Valdazar, Juez de la Paz, weighing twenty stone, tried to make his way to the pulperia at the corner of the plaza to quench his morning thirst. The moment his bare foot hit the cool grass, he triggered a hidden trap. Don Ildefonso fell like a collapsed building, shouting that he had been fatally bitten by a deadly scorpion. All around him, the barefoot citizens were hopping, stumbling, limping, and trying to pick the venomous insects off their feet that had appeared overnight to torment them.

The first to perceive the remedy was Estebán Delgado, the barber, a man of travel and education. Sitting upon a stone, he plucked burrs from his toes, and made oration:

The first to notice the solution was Estebán Delgado, the barber, a well-traveled and educated man. Sitting on a stone, he picked burrs from his toes and spoke eloquently:

“Behold, my friends, these bugs of the devil! I know them well. They soar through the skies in swarms like pigeons. These are the dead ones that fell during the night. In Yucatan I have seen them as large as oranges. Yes! There they hiss like serpents, and have wings like bats. It is the shoes—the shoes that one needs! Zapatos—zapatos para mi!

“Look, my friends, these devil bugs! I know them well. They fly through the skies in swarms like pigeons. These are the dead ones that fell during the night. In Yucatan, I’ve seen them as big as oranges. Yes! There, they hiss like snakes and have wings like bats. It’s the shoes—the shoes that are needed! Zapatos—zapatos para mi!

Estebán hobbled to Mr. Hemstetter’s store, and bought shoes. Coming out, he swaggered down the street with impunity, reviling loudly the bugs of the devil. The suffering ones sat up or stood upon one foot and beheld the immune barber. Men, women and children took up the cry: “Zapatos! zapatos!

Estebán limped to Mr. Hemstetter’s store and bought some shoes. When he came out, he confidently strutted down the street, loudly cursing the devil's bugs. The suffering ones sat up or stood on one foot, watching the unaffected barber. Men, women, and children joined in the chant: “Zapatos! zapatos!

The necessity for the demand had been created. The demand followed. That day Mr. Hemstetter sold three hundred pairs of shoes.

The need for the demand had been established. The demand came next. That day, Mr. Hemstetter sold three hundred pairs of shoes.

“It is really surprising,” he said to Johnny, who came up in the evening to help him straighten out the stock, “how trade is picking up. Yesterday I made but three sales.”

“It’s really surprising,” he said to Johnny, who came by in the evening to help him organize the stock, “how business is picking up. Yesterday I only made three sales.”

“I told you they’d whoop things up when they got started,” said the consul.

“I told you they’d kick things into gear when they got started,” said the consul.

“I think I shall order a dozen more cases of goods, to keep the stock up,” said Mr. Hemstetter, beaming through his spectacles.

“I think I’ll order a dozen more cases of goods to keep our stock up,” said Mr. Hemstetter, smiling behind his glasses.

“I wouldn’t send in any orders yet,” advised Johnny. “Wait till you see how the trade holds up.”

“I wouldn’t send in any orders just yet,” Johnny advised. “Wait until you see how the trade performs.”

Each night Johnny and Keogh sowed the crop that grew dollars by day. At the end of ten days two-thirds of the stock of shoes had been sold; and the stock of cockleburrs was exhausted. Johnny cabled to Pink Dawson for another 500 pounds, paying twenty cents per pound as before. Mr. Hemstetter carefully made up an order for $1500 worth of shoes from Northern firms. Johnny hung about the store until this order was ready for the mail, and succeeded in destroying it before it reached the postoffice.

Each night, Johnny and Keogh planted the seeds that turned into dollars by day. After ten days, two-thirds of the shoe stock had sold, and they had run out of cockleburrs. Johnny sent a cable to Pink Dawson for another 500 pounds, paying twenty cents per pound like before. Mr. Hemstetter carefully prepared an order for $1500 worth of shoes from Northern vendors. Johnny lingered in the store until the order was ready to be mailed, and managed to destroy it before it got to the post office.

That night he took Rosine under the mango tree by Goodwin’s porch, and confessed everything. She looked him in the eye, and said: “You are a very wicked man. Father and I will go back home. You say it was a joke? I think it is a very serious matter.”

That night, he took Rosine under the mango tree by Goodwin’s porch and confessed everything. She looked him in the eye and said, “You are a very wicked man. My father and I are going back home. You say it was a joke? I think it’s a very serious matter.”

But at the end of half an hour’s argument the conversation had been turned upon a different subject. The two were considering the respective merits of pale blue and pink wall paper with which the old colonial mansion of the Atwoods in Dalesburg was to be decorated after the wedding.

But after half an hour of arguing, the conversation shifted to a different topic. The two were discussing the pros and cons of pale blue and pink wallpaper for decorating the old colonial mansion of the Atwoods in Dalesburg after the wedding.

On the next morning Johnny confessed to Mr. Hemstetter. The shoe merchant put on his spectacles, and said through them: “You strike me as being a most extraordinary young scamp. If I had not managed this enterprise with good business judgment my entire stock of goods might have been a complete loss. Now, how do you propose to dispose of the rest of it?”

On the next morning, Johnny confessed to Mr. Hemstetter. The shoe merchant put on his glasses and said, “You seem like quite the extraordinary young rascal. If I hadn’t handled this business with good judgment, I could have lost my entire stock. Now, how do you plan to deal with the rest of it?”

When the second invoice of cockleburrs arrived Johnny loaded them and the remainder of the shoes into a schooner, and sailed down the coast to Alazan.

When the second invoice of cockleburrs arrived, Johnny loaded them along with the rest of the shoes onto a schooner and sailed down the coast to Alazan.

There, in the same dark and diabolical manner, he repeated his success; and came back with a bag of money and not so much as a shoestring.

There, in the same dark and wicked way, he repeated his success; and came back with a bag of money and not even a shoelace.

And then he besought his great Uncle of the waving goatee and starred vest to accept his resignation, for the lotus no longer lured him. He hankered for the spinach and cress of Dalesburg.

And then he asked his great uncle with the wavy goatee and star-patterned vest to accept his resignation because the lotus no longer attracted him. He longed for the spinach and cress of Dalesburg.

The services of Mr. William Terence Keogh as acting consul, pro tem., were suggested and accepted, and Johnny sailed with the Hemstetters back to his native shores.

The services of Mr. William Terence Keogh as acting consul, pro tem., were proposed and accepted, and Johnny sailed with the Hemstetters back to his homeland.

Keogh slipped into the sinecure of the American consulship with the ease that never left him even in such high places. The tintype establishment was soon to become a thing of the past, although its deadly work along the peaceful and helpless Spanish Main was never effaced. The restless partners were about to be off again, scouting ahead of the slow ranks of Fortune. But now they would take different ways. There were rumours of a promising uprising in Peru; and thither the martial Clancy would turn his adventurous steps. As for Keogh, he was figuring in his mind and on quires of Government letter-heads a scheme that dwarfed the art of misrepresenting the human countenance upon tin.

Keogh stepped into the comfortable role of the American consul with a natural ease that never abandoned him, even in such prominent positions. The tintype business was quickly becoming outdated, although its grim impact along the peaceful and vulnerable Spanish Main was never erased. The restless partners were about to head out again, scouting ahead of Fortune's slow march. But this time, they would take different paths. There were whispers of a promising uprising in Peru, and the adventurous Clancy would direct his steps that way. Meanwhile, Keogh was plotting in his mind and on sheets of Government letterhead a scheme that overshadowed the art of capturing human likenesses on tin.

“What suits me,” Keogh used to say, “in the way of a business proposition is something diversified that looks like a longer shot than it is—something in the way of a genteel graft that isn’t worked enough for the correspondence schools to be teaching it by mail. I take the long end; but I like to have at least as good a chance to win as a man learning to play poker on an ocean steamer, or running for governor of Texas on the Republican ticket. And when I cash in my winnings, I don’t want to find any widows’ and orphans’ chips in my stack.”

“What works for me,” Keogh used to say, “in terms of a business deal is something diverse that seems riskier than it actually is—something like a classy hustle that isn’t popular enough for the correspondence schools to be teaching it by mail. I’m in it for the big wins; but I at least want as good a chance to win as a guy learning to play poker on a cruise ship, or running for governor of Texas on the Republican ticket. And when I collect my winnings, I don’t want to find any widows’ and orphans’ chips in my pile.”

The grass-grown globe was the green table on which Keogh gambled. The games he played were of his own invention. He was no grubber after the diffident dollar. Nor did he care to follow it with horn and hounds. Rather he loved to coax it with egregious and brilliant flies from its habitat in the waters of strange streams. Yet Keogh was a business man; and his schemes, in spite of their singularity, were as solidly set as the plans of a building contractor. In Arthur’s time Sir William Keogh would have been a Knight of the Round Table. In these modern days he rides abroad, seeking the Graft instead of the Grail.

The grassy world was the green table where Keogh played his games. The games he created were his own invention. He wasn't someone who chased after money timidly. Nor did he want to hunt it down with horns and hounds. Instead, he enjoyed tempting it with flashy and clever flies from its home in the waters of unusual streams. Yet Keogh was a businessman; and his plans, despite being unique, were as solidly structured as those of a construction contractor. In Arthur’s time, Sir William Keogh would have been a Knight of the Round Table. In today's world, he rides around, looking for the Graft instead of the Grail.

Three days after Johnny’s departure, two small schooners appeared off Coralio. After some delay a boat put off from one of them, and brought a sunburned young man ashore. This young man had a shrewd and calculating eye; and he gazed with amazement at the strange things that he saw. He found on the beach some one who directed him to the consul’s office; and thither he made his way at a nervous gait.

Three days after Johnny left, two small schooners showed up off Coralio. After a bit of a wait, a boat launched from one of them and brought a sunburned young man to shore. This young man had a sharp and observant eye; he looked around in wonder at the unusual sights. He encountered someone on the beach who pointed him toward the consul’s office, and he hurried there with an anxious stride.

Keogh was sprawled in the official chair, drawing caricatures of his Uncle’s head on an official pad of paper. He looked up at his visitor.

Keogh was slouched in the official chair, sketching caricatures of his uncle's head on an official pad of paper. He glanced up at his visitor.

“Where’s Johnny Atwood?” inquired the sunburned young man, in a business tone.

“Where’s Johnny Atwood?” asked the sunburned young man, in a professional tone.

“Gone,” said Keogh, working carefully at Uncle Sam’s necktie.

“Gone,” Keogh said, carefully adjusting Uncle Sam’s tie.

“That’s just like him,” remarked the nut-brown one, leaning against the table. “He always was a fellow to gallivant around instead of ’tending to business. Will he be in soon?”

"That’s totally him," said the brown-haired one, leaning against the table. "He’s always been the type to mess around instead of focusing on work. Is he coming back soon?"

“Don’t think so,” said Keogh, after a fair amount of deliberation.

“Don’t think so,” Keogh said, after thinking about it for a while.

“I s’pose he’s out at some of his tomfoolery,” conjectured the visitor, in a tone of virtuous conviction. “Johnny never would stick to anything long enough to succeed. I wonder how he manages to run his business here, and never be ’round to look after it.”

“I guess he’s off doing some of his nonsense,” the visitor speculated, with a tone of righteous certainty. “Johnny never sticks with anything long enough to make it work. I wonder how he manages to run his business here and never be around to take care of it.”

“I’m looking after the business just now,” admitted the pro tem. consul.

“I’m taking care of the business right now,” admitted the pro tem. consul.

“Are you—then, say!—where’s the factory?”

"Are you—so, tell me!—where’s the factory?"

“What factory?” asked Keogh, with a mildly polite interest.

“What factory?” Keogh asked, his interest politely curious.

“Why, the factory where they use them cockleburrs. Lord knows what they use ’em for, anyway! I’ve got the basements of both them ships out there loaded with ’em. I’ll give you a bargain in this lot. I’ve had every man, woman and child around Dalesburg that wasn’t busy pickin’ ’em for a month. I hired these ships to bring ’em over. Everybody thought I was crazy. Now, you can have this lot for fifteen cents a pound, delivered on land. And if you want more I guess old Alabam’ can come up to the demand. Johnny told me when he left home that if he struck anything down here that there was any money in he’d let me in on it. Shall I drive the ships in and hitch?”

“Why, the factory where they use those cockleburs. Who knows what they need them for, anyway! I’ve got the basements of both those ships out there packed with them. I’ll give you a good deal on this lot. I’ve had every man, woman, and child around Dalesburg that wasn’t busy picking them for a month. I hired these ships to bring them over. Everyone thought I was crazy. Now, you can have this lot for fifteen cents a pound, delivered on land. And if you want more, I guess old Alabama can meet the demand. Johnny told me when he left home that if he found anything here that was worth money, he’d let me in on it. Should I bring the ships in and tie up?”

A look of supreme, almost incredulous, delight dawned in Keogh’s ruddy countenance. He dropped his pencil. His eyes turned upon the sunburned young man with joy in them mingled with fear lest his ecstasy should prove a dream.

A look of pure, almost unbelievable, joy spread across Keogh’s flushed face. He dropped his pencil. His eyes turned to the tanned young man, filled with happiness but mixed with fear that his excitement might be just a dream.

“For God’s sake, tell me,” said Keogh, earnestly, “are you Dink Pawson?”

“For God’s sake, tell me,” Keogh said earnestly, “are you Dink Pawson?”

“My name is Pinkney Dawson,” said the cornerer of the cockleburr market.

“My name is Pinkney Dawson,” said the cornerer of the cockleburr market.

Billy Keogh slid rapturously and gently from his chair to his favourite strip of matting on the floor.

Billy Keogh happily and smoothly slid off his chair onto his favorite patch of mat on the floor.

There were not many sounds in Coralio on that sultry afternoon. Among those that were may be mentioned a noise of enraptured and unrighteous laughter from a prostrate Irish-American, while a sunburned young man, with a shrewd eye, looked on him with wonder and amazement. Also the “tramp, tramp, tramp” of many well-shod feet in the streets outside. Also the lonesome wash of the waves that beat along the historic shores of the Spanish Main.

There weren't many sounds in Coralio on that hot afternoon. Among the few were the delighted and inappropriate laughter of a laid-back Irish-American, while a sunburned young man, with a keen eye, watched him in wonder and amazement. There was also the steady “tramp, tramp, tramp” of many well-shod feet on the streets outside. And the lonely wash of the waves crashing along the historic shores of the Spanish Main.

XIV
MASTERS OF ARTS

A two-inch stub of a blue pencil was the wand with which Keogh performed the preliminary acts of his magic. So, with this he covered paper with diagrams and figures while he waited for the United States of America to send down to Coralio a successor to Atwood, resigned.

A two-inch stub of a blue pencil was the tool Keogh used to start his magic. With it, he filled paper with diagrams and figures while he waited for the United States to send a replacement for Atwood, who had resigned, down to Coralio.

The new scheme that his mind had conceived, his stout heart indorsed, and his blue pencil corroborated, was laid around the characteristics and human frailties of the new president of Anchuria. These characteristics, and the situation out of which Keogh hoped to wrest a golden tribute, deserve chronicling contributive to the clear order of events.

The new plan that he had come up with, his brave heart supported, and his blue pencil confirmed, was based on the traits and human weaknesses of the new president of Anchuria. These traits, along with the situation from which Keogh hoped to extract a valuable return, are worth documenting to clarify the sequence of events.

President Losada—many called him Dictator—was a man whose genius would have made him conspicuous even among Anglo-Saxons, had not that genius been intermixed with other traits that were petty and subversive. He had some of the lofty patriotism of Washington (the man he most admired), the force of Napoleon, and much of the wisdom of the sages. These characteristics might have justified him in the assumption of the title of “The Illustrious Liberator,” had they not been accompanied by a stupendous and amazing vanity that kept him in the less worthy ranks of the dictators.

President Losada—many referred to him as the Dictator—was a man whose brilliance would have made him stand out even among Anglo-Saxons, if only that brilliance hadn’t been mixed with other less admirable and undermining traits. He had some of the noble patriotism of Washington (the person he admired most), the strength of Napoleon, and a lot of the wisdom of the wise. These qualities might have justified him taking the title of “The Illustrious Liberator,” if they weren’t paired with a tremendous and astonishing vanity that kept him among the less respected ranks of dictators.

Yet he did his country great service. With a mighty grasp he shook it nearly free from the shackles of ignorance and sloth and the vermin that fed upon it, and all but made it a power in the council of nations. He established schools and hospitals, built roads, bridges, railroads and palaces, and bestowed generous subsidies upon the arts and sciences. He was the absolute despot and the idol of his people. The wealth of the country poured into his hands. Other presidents had been rapacious without reason. Losada amassed enormous wealth, but his people had their share of the benefits.

Yet he served his country well. With a strong grip, he shook it almost free from the chains of ignorance and laziness, along with the pests that thrived on it, and transformed it into a significant player among the nations. He set up schools and hospitals, built roads, bridges, railroads, and palaces, and generously supported the arts and sciences. He was an absolute ruler and a hero to his people. The country’s wealth flowed into his hands. Other presidents had been greedy without cause. Losada accumulated huge wealth, but his people also benefited from it.

The joint in his armour was his insatiate passion for monuments and tokens commemorating his glory. In every town he caused to be erected statues of himself bearing legends in praise of his greatness. In the walls of every public edifice, tablets were fixed reciting his splendour and the gratitude of his subjects. His statuettes and portraits were scattered throughout the land in every house and hut. One of the sycophants in his court painted him as St. John, with a halo and a train of attendants in full uniform. Losada saw nothing incongruous in this picture, and had it hung in a church in the capital. He ordered from a French sculptor a marble group including himself with Napoleon, Alexander the Great, and one or two others whom he deemed worthy of the honour.

The flaw in his armor was his endless obsession with statues and symbols celebrating his greatness. In every town, he had statues of himself built with inscriptions praising him. On the walls of every public building, plaques were installed honoring his magnificence and expressing the gratitude of his people. His busts and portraits were everywhere, in every home and shack. One of the flatterers in his court painted him as St. John, complete with a halo and a retinue of attendants in full uniform. Losada saw nothing wrong with this depiction and had it displayed in a church in the capital. He commissioned a French sculptor for a marble group featuring himself alongside Napoleon, Alexander the Great, and a couple of others he considered worthy of the honor.

He ransacked Europe for decorations, employing policy, money and intrigue to cajole the orders he coveted from kings and rulers. On state occasions his breast was covered from shoulder to shoulder with crosses, stars, golden roses, medals and ribbons. It was said that the man who could contrive for him a new decoration, or invent some new method of extolling his greatness, might plunge a hand deep into the treasury.

He searched all over Europe for decorations, using diplomacy, money, and schemes to persuade the kings and rulers to give him the honors he desired. At official events, his chest was adorned from shoulder to shoulder with crosses, stars, golden roses, medals, and ribbons. People said that anyone who could come up with a new decoration for him or find a new way to celebrate his greatness could reach deep into the treasury.

This was the man upon whom Billy Keogh had his eye. The gentle buccaneer had observed the rain of favors that fell upon those who ministered to the president’s vanities, and he did not deem it his duty to hoist his umbrella against the scattering drops of liquid fortune.

This was the man that Billy Keogh was interested in. The easygoing pirate had noticed the stream of blessings that came to those who catered to the president’s whims, and he didn’t feel it was his responsibility to shield himself from the falling drops of fortune.

In a few weeks the new consul arrived, releasing Keogh from his temporary duties. He was a young man fresh from college, who lived for botany alone. The consulate at Coralio gave him the opportunity to study tropical flora. He wore smoked glasses, and carried a green umbrella. He filled the cool, back porch of the consulate with plants and specimens so that space for a bottle and chair was not to be found. Keogh gazed on him sadly, but without rancour, and began to pack his gripsack. For his new plot against stagnation along the Spanish Main required of him a voyage overseas.

In a few weeks, the new consul showed up, taking Keogh out of his temporary responsibilities. He was a young guy just out of college, passionate about botany. The consulate in Coralio allowed him to explore tropical plants. He wore tinted glasses and carried a green umbrella. He filled the cool back porch of the consulate with plants and specimens, leaving no room for a bottle or chair. Keogh looked at him sadly but without resentment and started to pack his bag. His new plan to shake things up along the Spanish Main required a trip overseas.

Soon came the Karlsefin again—she of the trampish habits—gleaning a cargo of cocoanuts for a speculative descent upon the New York market. Keogh was booked for a passage on the return trip.

Soon came the Karlsefin again—she with the rough habits—collecting a load of coconuts for a risky venture in the New York market. Keogh had a ticket for the return trip.

“Yes, I’m going to New York,” he explained to the group of his countrymen that had gathered on the beach to see him off. “But I’ll be back before you miss me. I’ve undertaken the art education of this piebald country, and I’m not the man to desert it while it’s in the early throes of tintypes.”

“Yes, I’m heading to New York,” he told the group of his fellow countrymen who had gathered on the beach to send him off. “But I’ll be back before you even notice I’m gone. I’ve taken on the mission of improving the art scene in this diverse country, and I’m not the type to bail on it while it’s just starting out with photographs.”

With this mysterious declaration of his intentions Keogh boarded the Karlsefin.

With this mysterious statement of his intentions, Keogh boarded the Karlsefin.

Ten days later, shivering, with the collar of his thin coat turned high, he burst into the studio of Carolus White at the top of a tall building in Tenth Street, New York City.

Ten days later, shivering and with the collar of his light coat pulled up, he rushed into the studio of Carolus White at the top of a tall building on Tenth Street, New York City.

Carolus White was smoking a cigarette and frying sausages over an oil stove. He was only twenty-three, and had noble theories about art.

Carolus White was smoking a cigarette and frying sausages on an oil stove. He was just twenty-three and had grand ideas about art.

“Billy Keogh!” exclaimed White, extending the hand that was not busy with the frying pan. “From what part of the uncivilized world, I wonder!”

“Billy Keogh!” exclaimed White, reaching out with the hand not holding the frying pan. “I wonder where in the uncivilized world you’re from!”

“Hello, Carry,” said Keogh, dragging forward a stool, and holding his fingers close to the stove. “I’m glad I found you so soon. I’ve been looking for you all day in the directories and art galleries. The free-lunch man on the corner told me where you were, quick. I was sure you’d be painting pictures yet.”

“Hey, Carry,” said Keogh, pulling up a stool and warming his hands by the stove. “I’m really glad I found you so quickly. I’ve been searching for you all day in the directories and art galleries. The guy serving free lunch on the corner pointed me in your direction right away. I figured you’d still be painting.”

Keogh glanced about the studio with the shrewd eye of a connoisseur in business.

Keogh looked around the studio with the sharp eye of a business expert.

“Yes, you can do it,” he declared, with many gentle nods of his head. “That big one in the corner with the angels and green clouds and band-wagon is just the sort of thing we want. What would you call that, Carry—scene from Coney Island, ain’t it?”

“Yes, you can do it,” he said, nodding his head gently. “That big one in the corner with the angels and green clouds and the bandwagon is exactly what we’re looking for. What would you call that, Carry—scene from Coney Island, right?”

“That,” said White, “I had intended to call ‘The Translation of Elijah,’ but you may be nearer right than I am.”

“That,” said White, “I was planning to call it ‘The Translation of Elijah,’ but you might be more right than I am.”

“Name doesn’t matter,” said Keogh, largely; “it’s the frame and the varieties of paint that does the trick. Now, I can tell you in a minute what I want. I’ve come on a little voyage of two thousand miles to take you in with me on a scheme. I thought of you as soon as the scheme showed itself to me. How would you like to go back with me and paint a picture? Ninety days for the trip, and five thousand dollars for the job.”

“Name doesn’t matter,” said Keogh. “It’s the frame and the different types of paint that really count. Now, I can tell you right away what I want. I’ve traveled two thousand miles to bring you in on a plan. I thought of you as soon as the idea came to me. How would you feel about coming back with me to paint a picture? Ninety days for the trip, and five thousand dollars for the work.”

“Cereal food or hair-tonic posters?” asked White.

“Cereal or hair-treatment ads?” asked White.

“It isn’t an ad.”

“It’s not an ad.”

“What kind of a picture is it to be?”

“What kind of picture is it going to be?”

“It’s a long story,” said Keogh.

“It’s a long story,” Keogh said.

“Go ahead with it. If you don’t mind, while you talk I’ll just keep my eye on these sausages. Let ’em get one shade deeper than a Vandyke brown and you spoil ’em.”

“Go ahead with it. If you don’t mind, while you talk I’ll just keep an eye on these sausages. If they get even slightly darker than a Vandyke brown, you’ll ruin them.”

Keogh explained his project. They were to return to Coralio, where White was to pose as a distinguished American portrait painter who was touring in the tropics as a relaxation from his arduous and remunerative professional labours. It was not an unreasonable hope, even to those who had trod in the beaten paths of business, that an artist with so much prestige might secure a commission to perpetuate upon canvas the lineaments of the president, and secure a share of the pesos that were raining upon the caterers to his weaknesses.

Keogh explained his project. They were going to return to Coralio, where White would act as a prominent American portrait painter taking a break from his challenging and well-paying job in the tropics. It wasn't an unrealistic expectation, even for those who had followed traditional business paths, that an artist with such a reputation could land a commission to paint the president's likeness and get a cut of the pesos that were pouring in for those catering to his vices.

Keogh had set his price at ten thousand dollars. Artists had been paid more for portraits. He and White were to share the expenses of the trip, and divide the possible profits. Thus he laid the scheme before White, whom he had known in the West before one declared for Art and the other became a Bedouin.

Keogh had set his price at ten thousand dollars. Artists had been paid more for portraits. He and White were going to share the costs of the trip and split the potential profits. So, he presented the plan to White, whom he had known in the West before one committed to Art and the other became a nomad.

Before long the two machinators abandoned the rigour of the bare studio for a snug corner of a café. There they sat far into the night, with old envelopes and Keogh’s stub of blue pencil between them.

Before long, the two schemers left the strict atmosphere of the empty studio for a cozy corner of a café. They sat there late into the night, with old envelopes and Keogh's stumpy blue pencil between them.

At twelve o’clock White doubled up in his chair, with his chin on his fist, and shut his eyes at the unbeautiful wall-paper.

At noon, White hunched over in his chair, resting his chin on his fist, and closed his eyes against the ugly wallpaper.

“I’ll go you, Billy,” he said, in the quiet tones of decision. “I’ve got two or three hundred saved up for sausages and rent; and I’ll take the chance with you. Five thousand! It will give me two years in Paris and one in Italy. I’ll begin to pack to-morrow.”

“I'll go with you, Billy,” he said, in a calm, decisive tone. “I've got two or three hundred saved up for sausages and rent, and I'm willing to take the risk with you. Five thousand! That would give me two years in Paris and one in Italy. I'll start packing tomorrow.”

“You’ll begin in ten minutes,” said Keogh. “It’s to-morrow now. The Karlsefin starts back at four P.M. Come on to your painting shop, and I’ll help you.”

“You’ll start in ten minutes,” said Keogh. “It’s tomorrow now. The Karlsefin leaves at four P.M. Let’s go to your painting studio, and I’ll help you.”

For five months in the year Coralio is the Newport of Anchuria. Then only does the town possess life. From November to March it is practically the seat of government. The president with his official family sojourns there; and society follows him. The pleasure-loving people make the season one long holiday of amusement and rejoicing. Fiestas, balls, games, sea bathing, processions and small theatres contribute to their enjoyment. The famous Swiss band from the capital plays in the little plaza every evening, while the fourteen carriages and vehicles in the town circle in funereal but complacent procession. Indians from the interior mountains, looking like prehistoric stone idols, come down to peddle their handiwork in the streets. The people throng the narrow ways, a chattering, happy, careless stream of buoyant humanity. Preposterous children rigged out with the shortest of ballet skirts and gilt wings, howl, underfoot, among the effervescent crowds. Especially is the arrival of the presidential party, at the opening of the season, attended with pomp, show and patriotic demonstrations of enthusiasm and delight.

For five months each year, Coralio is the Newport of Anchuria. That's when the town comes alive. From November to March, it's basically the seat of government. The president and his official family stay there, and society follows suit. The fun-loving crowd turns the season into one long holiday filled with amusement and celebration. Fiestas, dances, games, swimming, parades, and small theaters all add to the enjoyment. The famous Swiss band from the capital plays in the little plaza every evening, while the fourteen carriages and vehicles in town move in a slow but satisfied procession. Indigenous people from the nearby mountains, resembling ancient stone statues, come down to sell their crafts in the streets. The narrow paths are filled with a cheerful, carefree crowd of lively people. Ridiculous children dressed in tiny ballet skirts and shiny wings run around among the energetic throngs. The arrival of the presidential party, marking the start of the season, is especially celebrated with grandeur, spectacle, and patriotic excitement.

When Keogh and White reached their destination, on the return trip of the Karlsefin, the gay winter season was well begun. As they stepped upon the beach they could hear the band playing in the plaza. The village maidens, with fireflies already fixed in their dark locks, were gliding, barefoot and coy-eyed, along the paths. Dandies in white linen, swinging their canes, were beginning their seductive strolls. The air was full of human essence, of artificial enticement, of coquetry, indolence, pleasure—the man-made sense of existence.

When Keogh and White arrived at their destination on the return trip of the Karlsefin, winter festivities were already in full swing. As they stepped onto the beach, they could hear the band playing in the plaza. The village girls, with fireflies woven into their dark hair, were gliding barefoot and playfully along the paths. Stylish guys in white linen, swinging their canes, were starting their charming strolls. The air was filled with the essence of people, artificial allure, flirtation, laziness, and pleasure—the crafted experience of life.

The first two or three days after their arrival were spent in preliminaries. Keogh escorted the artist about town, introducing him to the little circle of English-speaking residents and pulling whatever wires he could to effect the spreading of White’s fame as a painter. And then Keogh planned a more spectacular demonstration of the idea he wished to keep before the public.

The first couple of days after they arrived were spent on introductions. Keogh showed the artist around town, introducing him to the small group of English-speaking locals and doing whatever he could to boost White’s reputation as a painter. Then, Keogh organized a more impressive showcase of the idea he wanted to keep in the public eye.

He and White engaged rooms in the Hotel de los Estranjeros. The two were clad in new suits of immaculate duck, with American straw hats, and carried canes of remarkable uniqueness and inutility. Few caballeros in Coralio—even the gorgeously uniformed officers of the Anchurian army—were as conspicuous for ease and elegance of demeanour as Keogh and his friend, the great American painter, Señor White.

He and White rented rooms at the Hotel de los Estranjeros. Both were dressed in new, spotless suits with American straw hats and carried canes that were uniquely strange and impractical. Few gentlemen in Coralio—even the beautifully uniformed officers of the Anchurian army—stood out for their relaxed and stylish demeanor as much as Keogh and his friend, the renowned American painter, Señor White.

White set up his easel on the beach and made striking sketches of the mountain and sea views. The native population formed at his rear in a vast, chattering semicircle to watch his work. Keogh, with his care for details, had arranged for himself a pose which he carried out with fidelity. His rôle was that of friend to the great artist, a man of affairs and leisure. The visible emblem of his position was a pocket camera.

White set up his easel on the beach and created stunning sketches of the mountain and sea views. The local people gathered behind him in a large, chatting semicircle to watch him work. Keogh, attentive to details, had arranged his pose with precision. He played the role of a friend to the great artist, a man of business and leisure. The clear symbol of his status was a pocket camera.

“For branding the man who owns it,” said he, “a genteel dilettante with a bank account and an easy conscience, a steam-yacht ain’t in it with a camera. You see a man doing nothing but loafing around making snap-shots, and you know right away he reads up well in ‘Bradstreet.’ You notice these old millionaire boys—soon as they get through taking everything else in sight they go to taking photographs. People are more impressed by a kodak than they are by a title or a four-carat scarf-pin.” So Keogh strolled blandly about Coralio, snapping the scenery and the shrinking señoritas, while White posed conspicuously in the higher regions of art.

“By branding the man who owns it,” he said, “a cultured dilettante with a fat bank account and a clear conscience, a steam yacht can’t compare to a camera. You see a guy just loafing around taking snapshots, and you instantly know he’s pretty well off. You notice these old millionaire guys—once they’ve taken in everything else in sight, they start taking photographs. People are more impressed by a camera than they are by a title or a four-carat scarf pin.” So, Keogh casually wandered around Coralio, snapping photos of the scenery and the shy señoritas, while White posed conspicuously in the higher realms of art.

Two weeks after their arrival, the scheme began to bear fruit. An aide-de-camp of the president drove to the hotel in a dashing victoria. The president desired that Señor White come to the Casa Morena for an informal interview.

Two weeks after they arrived, the plan started to pay off. A presidential aide drove to the hotel in a stylish carriage. The president wanted Señor White to come to the Casa Morena for a casual meeting.

Keogh gripped his pipe tightly between his teeth. “Not a cent less than ten thousand,” he said to the artist—“remember the price. And in gold or its equivalent—don’t let him stick you with this bargain-counter stuff they call money here.”

Keogh clenched his pipe firmly between his teeth. “Not a penny less than ten thousand,” he told the artist—“keep that price in mind. And in gold or something equivalent—don’t let him trick you with this cheap stuff they call money here.”

“Perhaps it isn’t that he wants,” said White.

“Maybe it’s not that he wants,” said White.

“Get out!” said Keogh, with splendid confidence. “I know what he wants. He wants his picture painted by the celebrated young American painter and filibuster now sojourning in his down-trodden country. Off you go.”

“Get out!” said Keogh, with great confidence. “I know what he wants. He wants his portrait done by the famous young American painter and filibuster currently staying in his oppressed country. Off you go.”

The victoria sped away with the artist. Keogh walked up and down, puffing great clouds of smoke from his pipe, and waited. In an hour the victoria swept again to the door of the hotel, deposited White, and vanished. The artist dashed up the stairs, three at a step. Keogh stopped smoking, and became a silent interrogation point.

The victoria took off quickly with the artist. Keogh paced back and forth, blowing big clouds of smoke from his pipe, and waited. An hour later, the victoria returned to the hotel, dropped off White, and disappeared. The artist rushed up the stairs, taking three steps at a time. Keogh stopped smoking and became a silent question mark.

“Landed,” exclaimed White, with his boyish face flushed with elation. “Billy, you are a wonder. He wants a picture. I’ll tell you all about it. By Heavens! that dictator chap is a corker! He’s a dictator clear down to his finger-ends. He’s a kind of combination of Julius Cæsar, Lucifer and Chauncey Depew done in sepia. Polite and grim—that’s his way. The room I saw him in was about ten acres big, and looked like a Mississippi steamboat with its gilding and mirrors and white paint. He talks English better than I can ever hope to. The matter of the price came up. I mentioned ten thousand. I expected him to call the guard and have me taken out and shot. He didn’t move an eyelash. He just waved one of his chestnut hands in a careless way, and said, ‘Whatever you say.’ I am to go back to-morrow and discuss with him the details of the picture.”

“Landed,” exclaimed White, his youthful face flushed with excitement. “Billy, you’re amazing. He wants a picture. I’ll fill you in on everything. Wow! That dictator guy is something else! He’s a dictator through and through. He’s like a mix of Julius Caesar, Lucifer, and Chauncey Depew, all in sepia tones. Polite yet stern—that’s how he is. The room I saw him in was about ten acres big and looked like a Mississippi steamboat with all its gold trim, mirrors, and white paint. He speaks English better than I could ever dream of. The price came up. I mentioned ten thousand. I thought he’d call security and have me taken out and shot. He didn’t flinch. He just waved one of his chestnut hands casually and said, ‘Whatever you say.’ I’m going back tomorrow to talk to him about the details of the picture.”

Keogh hung his head. Self-abasement was easy to read in his downcast countenance.

Keogh hung his head. It was easy to see the shame on his downcast face.

“I’m failing, Carry,” he said, sorrowfully. “I’m not fit to handle these man’s-size schemes any longer. Peddling oranges in a push-cart is about the suitable graft for me. When I said ten thousand, I swear I thought I had sized up that brown man’s limit to within two cents. He’d have melted down for fifteen thousand just as easy. Say—Carry—you’ll see old man Keogh safe in some nice, quiet idiot asylum, won’t you, if he makes a break like that again?”

“I’m failing, Carry,” he said sadly. “I’m not cut out for these big plans anymore. Selling oranges from a push cart is more my speed. When I said ten thousand, I honestly thought I had figured out that brown man’s limit to within two cents. He would have gladly taken fifteen thousand just as easily. By the way—Carry—you’ll make sure old man Keogh ends up safely in some nice, quiet mental health facility, won’t you, if he tries something like that again?”

The Casa Morena, although only one story in height, was a building of brown stone, luxurious as a palace in its interior. It stood on a low hill in a walled garden of splendid tropical flora at the upper edge of Coralio. The next day the president’s carriage came again for the artist. Keogh went out for a walk along the beach, where he and his “picture box” were now familiar sights. When he returned to the hotel White was sitting in a steamer-chair on the balcony.

The Casa Morena, though just one story tall, was a brownstone building as luxurious inside as a palace. It was situated on a low hill in a walled garden filled with beautiful tropical plants at the northern edge of Coralio. The next day, the president's carriage returned for the artist. Keogh took a walk along the beach, where he and his “picture box” had become familiar sights. When he got back to the hotel, White was sitting in a steamer chair on the balcony.

“Well,” said Keogh, “did you and His Nibs decide on the kind of a chromo he wants?”

“Well,” said Keogh, “did you and His Nibs figure out what kind of print he wants?”

White got up and walked back and forth on the balcony a few times. Then he stopped, and laughed strangely. His face was flushed, and his eyes were bright with a kind of angry amusement.

White got up and paced back and forth on the balcony a few times. Then he stopped and laughed oddly. His face was flushed, and his eyes sparkled with a mix of anger and amusement.

“Look here, Billy,” he said, somewhat roughly, “when you first came to me in my studio and mentioned a picture, I thought you wanted a Smashed Oats or a Hair Tonic poster painted on a range of mountains or the side of a continent. Well, either of those jobs would have been Art in its highest form compared to the one you’ve steered me against. I can’t paint that picture, Billy. You’ve got to let me out. Let me try to tell you what that barbarian wants. He had it all planned out and even a sketch made of his idea. The old boy doesn’t draw badly at all. But, ye goddesses of Art! listen to the monstrosity he expects me to paint. He wants himself in the centre of the canvas, of course. He is to be painted as Jupiter sitting on Olympus, with the clouds at his feet. At one side of him stands George Washington, in full regimentals, with his hand on the president’s shoulder. An angel with outstretched wings hovers overhead, and is placing a laurel wreath on the president’s head, crowning him—Queen of the May, I suppose. In the background is to be cannon, more angels and soldiers. The man who would paint that picture would have to have the soul of a dog, and would deserve to go down into oblivion without even a tin can tied to his tail to sound his memory.”

“Listen up, Billy,” he said, a bit harshly, “when you first came to me in my studio and talked about a painting, I thought you wanted a Smashed Oats or a Hair Tonic poster painted on some mountains or the side of a continent. Honestly, either of those jobs would be high Art compared to the one you’re pushing me toward. I can’t paint that picture, Billy. You’ve got to let me off the hook. Let me explain what that guy wants. He had it all mapped out and even made a sketch of his idea. The old dude can actually draw pretty well. But, oh my goddesses of Art! listen to the ridiculous thing he expects me to paint. He wants to be in the center of the canvas, naturally. He wants to be depicted as Jupiter sitting on Olympus, with clouds at his feet. On one side of him stands George Washington, in full uniform, with his hand on the president’s shoulder. An angel with outstretched wings hovers above, placing a laurel wreath on the president’s head, crowning him—Queen of the May, I guess. In the background, there are to be cannons, more angels, and soldiers. The guy who would paint that picture would have to have the soul of a dog and would deserve to fade into obscurity without even a tin can tied to his tail to remember him.”

Little beads of moisture crept out all over Billy Keogh’s brow. The stub of his blue pencil had not figured out a contingency like this. The machinery of his plan had run with flattering smoothness until now. He dragged another chair upon the balcony, and got White back to his seat. He lit his pipe with apparent calm.

Little beads of sweat appeared all over Billy Keogh’s forehead. The stub of his blue pencil hadn’t anticipated a situation like this. The gears of his plan had been running smoothly until now. He pulled another chair onto the balcony and got White back into his seat. He lit his pipe with an air of calm.

“Now, sonny,” he said, with gentle grimness, “you and me will have an Art to Art talk. You’ve got your art and I’ve got mine. Yours is the real Pierian stuff that turns up its nose at bock-beer signs and oleographs of the Old Mill. Mine’s the art of Business. This was my scheme, and it worked out like two-and-two. Paint that president man as Old King Cole, or Venus, or a landscape, or a fresco, or a bunch of lilies, or anything he thinks he looks like. But get the paint on the canvas and collect the spoils. You wouldn’t throw me down, Carry, at this stage of the game. Think of that ten thousand.”

“Now, kid,” he said, with a serious but gentle tone, “we're going to have a real talk about art. You have your art, and I have mine. Yours is the genuine stuff that looks down on tacky beer ads and old prints of The Old Mill. Mine is the art of Business. This was my plan, and it worked out perfectly. Paint that president as Old King Cole, or Venus, or a landscape, or a fresco, or a bunch of lilies, or whatever he thinks he resembles. Just get that paint on the canvas and collect your rewards. You wouldn’t let me down, Carry, at this point. Think about that ten thousand.”

“I can’t help thinking of it,” said White, “and that’s what hurts. I’m tempted to throw every ideal I ever had down in the mire, and steep my soul in infamy by painting that picture. That five thousand meant three years of foreign study to me, and I’d almost sell my soul for that.”

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” White said, “and that’s what really stings. I’m tempted to toss aside every ideal I ever had and tarnish my soul by creating that painting. That five thousand meant three years of studying abroad for me, and I’d almost sell my soul for that.”

“Now it ain’t as bad as that,” said Keogh, soothingly. “It’s a business proposition. It’s so much paint and time against money. I don’t fall in with your idea that that picture would so everlastingly jolt the art side of the question. George Washington was all right, you know, and nobody could say a word against the angel. I don’t think so bad of that group. If you was to give Jupiter a pair of epaulets and a sword, and kind of work the clouds around to look like a blackberry patch, it wouldn’t make such a bad battle scene. Why, if we hadn’t already settled on the price, he ought to pay an extra thousand for Washington, and the angel ought to raise it five hundred.”

“Hey, it's not that bad,” Keogh said softly. “It's a business deal. It's just about how much paint and time goes into it compared to the money. I don’t agree with your idea that this picture would shock the art world so much. George Washington was great, you know, and no one can say anything bad about the angel. I don't think that group is so terrible. If you gave Jupiter a couple of epaulets and a sword, and made the clouds look like a blackberry patch, it wouldn’t be such a bad battle scene. Honestly, if we hadn’t already agreed on the price, he should pay an extra thousand for Washington, and the angel should make it five hundred more.”

“You don’t understand, Billy,” said White, with an uneasy laugh. “Some of us fellows who try to paint have big notions about Art. I wanted to paint a picture some day that people would stand before and forget that it was made of paint. I wanted it to creep into them like a bar of music and mushroom there like a soft bullet. And I wanted ’em to go away and ask, ‘What else has he done?’ And I didn’t want ’em to find a thing; not a portrait nor a magazine cover nor an illustration nor a drawing of a girl—nothing but the picture. That’s why I’ve lived on fried sausages, and tried to keep true to myself. I persuaded myself to do this portrait for the chance it might give me to study abroad. But this howling, screaming caricature! Good Lord! can’t you see how it is?”

“You don’t get it, Billy,” White said with a nervous laugh. “Some of us guys who try to paint have big ideas about Art. I wanted to create a piece someday that people would stand in front of and forget it was just paint. I wanted it to seep into them like a melody and grow inside them like a gentle bullet. And I wanted them to walk away asking, ‘What else has he done?’ And I didn’t want them to find anything; not a portrait, not a magazine cover, not an illustration, not even a drawing of a girl—just the picture. That’s why I’ve lived on fried sausages and tried to stay true to myself. I convinced myself to do this portrait for the chance it might give me to study abroad. But this howling, screaming caricature! Good Lord! can’t you see how it is?”

“Sure,” said Keogh, as tenderly as he would have spoken to a child, and he laid a long forefinger on White’s knee. “I see. It’s bad to have your art all slugged up like that. I know. You wanted to paint a big thing like the panorama of the battle of Gettysburg. But let me kalsomine you a little mental sketch to consider. Up to date we’re out $385.50 on this scheme. Our capital took every cent both of us could raise. We’ve got about enough left to get back to New York on. I need my share of that ten thousand. I want to work a copper deal in Idaho, and make a hundred thousand. That’s the business end of the thing. Come down off your art perch, Carry, and let’s land that hatful of dollars.”

“Sure,” said Keogh, as gently as he would have spoken to a child, and he put a long finger on White’s knee. “I get it. It’s frustrating to have your art all messed up like that. I know. You wanted to create something huge like the panorama of the battle of Gettysburg. But let me give you a little mental picture to think about. So far, we’re down $385.50 on this project. We’ve used up every penny we could raise. We’ve got just enough left to get back to New York. I need my share of that ten thousand. I want to invest in a copper deal in Idaho and make a hundred grand. That’s the business side of things. Come down from your art high horse, Carry, and let’s get that pile of cash.”

“Billy,” said White, with an effort, “I’ll try. I won’t say I’ll do it, but I’ll try. I’ll go at it, and put it through if I can.”

“Billy,” said White, trying hard, “I’ll give it a shot. I won’t promise I’ll succeed, but I’ll try. I’ll tackle it and see it through if I can.”

“That’s business,” said Keogh heartily. “Good boy! Now, here’s another thing—rush that picture—crowd it through as quick as you can. Get a couple of boys to help you mix the paint if necessary. I’ve picked up some pointers around town. The people here are beginning to get sick of Mr. President. They say he’s been too free with concessions; and they accuse him of trying to make a dicker with England to sell out the country. We want that picture done and paid for before there’s any row.”

“That’s business,” Keogh said cheerfully. “Good job! Now, here’s another thing—hurry up with that picture—get it done as quickly as you can. Enlist a couple of guys to help you mix the paint if you need to. I’ve gathered some insights around town. People are starting to get fed up with Mr. President. They’re saying he’s been too generous with concessions, and they’re accusing him of trying to make a deal with England to sell out the country. We want that picture finished and paid for before there’s any trouble.”

In the great patio of Casa Morena, the president caused to be stretched a huge canvas. Under this White set up his temporary studio. For two hours each day the great man sat to him.

In the large patio of Casa Morena, the president had a huge canvas set up. Under this, White arranged his temporary studio. For two hours every day, the great man sat for him.

White worked faithfully. But, as the work progressed, he had seasons of bitter scorn, of infinite self-contempt, of sullen gloom and sardonic gaiety. Keogh, with the patience of a great general, soothed, coaxed, argued—kept him at the picture.

White worked diligently. But, as the work went on, he went through phases of deep contempt, intense self-loathing, brooding sadness, and sarcastic humor. Keogh, with the patience of a seasoned leader, comforted, encouraged, and reasoned with him—keeping him focused on the painting.

At the end of a month White announced that the picture was completed—Jupiter, Washington, angels, clouds, cannon and all. His face was pale and his mouth drawn straight when he told Keogh. He said the president was much pleased with it. It was to be hung in the National Gallery of Statesmen and Heroes. The artist had been requested to return to Casa Morena on the following day to receive payment. At the appointed time he left the hotel, silent under his friend’s joyful talk of their success.

At the end of the month, White announced that the painting was finished—Jupiter, Washington, angels, clouds, cannons, and everything. His face was pale, and his mouth was set in a straight line when he told Keogh. He said the president was very pleased with it. It was going to be hung in the National Gallery of Statesmen and Heroes. The artist had been asked to return to Casa Morena the next day to receive payment. At the scheduled time, he left the hotel, quiet while his friend excitedly talked about their success.

An hour later he walked into the room where Keogh was waiting, threw his hat on the floor, and sat upon the table.

An hour later, he walked into the room where Keogh was waiting, tossed his hat on the floor, and sat on the table.

“Billy,” he said, in strained and labouring tones, “I’ve a little money out West in a small business that my brother is running. It’s what I’ve been living on while I’ve been studying art. I’ll draw out my share and pay you back what you’ve lost on this scheme.”

“Billy,” he said, in a strained and laborious voice, “I have some money out West in a small business that my brother is managing. It’s been my support while I've been studying art. I’ll withdraw my share and pay you back what you’ve lost in this deal.”

“Lost!” exclaimed Keogh, jumping up. “Didn’t you get paid for the picture?”

“Lost!” shouted Keogh, jumping up. “Didn’t you get paid for the movie?”

“Yes, I got paid,” said White. “But just now there isn’t any picture, and there isn’t any pay. If you care to hear about it, here are the edifying details. The president and I were looking at the painting. His secretary brought a bank draft on New York for ten thousand dollars and handed it to me. The moment I touched it I went wild. I tore it into little pieces and threw them on the floor. A workman was repainting the pillars inside the patio. A bucket of his paint happened to be convenient. I picked up his brush and slapped a quart of blue paint all over that ten-thousand-dollar nightmare. I bowed, and walked out. The president didn’t move or speak. That was one time he was taken by surprise. It’s tough on you, Billy, but I couldn’t help it.”

“Yes, I got paid,” said White. “But right now there isn’t any project, and there isn’t any payment. If you want to hear about it, here are the shocking details. The president and I were looking at the painting. His secretary brought a bank draft from New York for ten thousand dollars and handed it to me. The moment I touched it, I lost it. I tore it into tiny pieces and threw them on the floor. A workman was repainting the pillars inside the patio. A bucket of his paint was conveniently nearby. I picked up his brush and slathered a quart of blue paint all over that ten-thousand-dollar disaster. I bowed and walked out. The president didn’t move or say a word. That was one time he was totally taken by surprise. It’s tough on you, Billy, but I couldn’t help it.”

There seemed to be excitement in Coralio. Outside there was a confused, rising murmur pierced by high-pitched cries. “Bajo el traidor—Muerte el traidor!” were the words they seemed to form.

There seemed to be excitement in Coralio. Outside, there was a mixed, rising murmur pierced by sharp cries. “Bajo el traidor—Muerte el traidor!” were the words they seemed to form.

“Listen to that!” exclaimed White, bitterly: “I know that much Spanish. They’re shouting, ‘Down with the traitor!’ I heard them before. I felt that they meant me. I was a traitor to Art. The picture had to go.”

“Listen to that!” White exclaimed, bitterly. “I know a bit of Spanish. They’re shouting, ‘Down with the traitor!’ I heard them before. I could tell they meant me. I was a traitor to Art. The picture had to go.”

“‘Down with the blank fool’ would have suited your case better,” said Keogh, with fiery emphasis. “You tear up ten thousand dollars like an old rag because the way you’ve spread on five dollars’ worth of paint hurts your conscience. Next time I pick a side-partner in a scheme the man has got to go before a notary and swear he never even heard the word ‘ideal’ mentioned.”

“‘Screw the clueless idiot’ would have fit your situation better,” Keogh said, with intense emphasis. “You waste ten thousand dollars like it’s nothing because the way you slathered on five dollars’ worth of paint bothers your conscience. Next time I choose a partner for a scheme, that person has to go in front of a notary and swear they’ve never even heard the word ‘ideal’ mentioned.”

Keogh strode from the room, white-hot. White paid little attention to his resentment. The scorn of Billy Keogh seemed a trifling thing beside the greater self-scorn he had escaped.

Keogh stormed out of the room, fuming. White barely noticed his anger. Billy Keogh's disdain felt insignificant compared to the deeper self-loathing that White had managed to leave behind.

In Coralio the excitement waxed. An outburst was imminent. The cause of this demonstration of displeasure was the presence in the town of a big, pink-cheeked Englishman, who, it was said, was an agent of his government come to clinch the bargain by which the president placed his people in the hands of a foreign power. It was charged that not only had he given away priceless concessions, but that the public debt was to be transferred into the hands of the English, and the custom-houses turned over to them as a guarantee. The long-enduring people had determined to make their protest felt.

In Coralio, the excitement grew. A blow-up was about to happen. The reason for this display of anger was a big, rosy-cheeked Englishman in town, who was rumored to be a government agent here to finalize a deal that put his people under foreign control. People claimed that not only had he given away valuable concessions, but that the public debt was going to be handed over to the English, with the customs houses turned over to them as collateral. The long-suffering townspeople had decided to make their protest known.

On that night, in Coralio and in other towns, their ire found vent. Yelling mobs, mercurial but dangerous, roamed the streets. They overthrew the great bronze statue of the president that stood in the centre of the plaza, and hacked it to shapeless pieces. They tore from public buildings the tablets set there proclaiming the glory of the “Illustrious Liberator.” His pictures in the government offices were demolished. The mobs even attacked the Casa Morena, but were driven away by the military, which remained faithful to the executive. All the night terror reigned.

On that night, in Coralio and other towns, their anger erupted. Yelling crowds, unpredictable but dangerous, filled the streets. They toppled the large bronze statue of the president that stood in the center of the plaza and smashed it into unrecognizable pieces. They ripped down the plaques on public buildings that celebrated the greatness of the “Illustrious Liberator.” His pictures in government offices were destroyed. The crowds even attacked the Casa Morena but were pushed back by the military, which stayed loyal to the administration. Terror reigned all night.

The greatness of Losada was shown by the fact that by noon the next day order was restored, and he was still absolute. He issued proclamations denying positively that any negotiations of any kind had been entered into with England. Sir Stafford Vaughn, the pink-cheeked Englishman, also declared in placards and in public print that his presence there had no international significance. He was a traveller without guile. In fact (so he stated), he had not even spoken with the president or been in his presence since his arrival.

The greatness of Losada was evident by noon the next day when order had been restored, and he remained in complete control. He issued statements firmly denying that any negotiations of any kind had taken place with England. Sir Stafford Vaughn, the rosy-cheeked Englishman, also proclaimed in posters and public announcements that his presence there had no international implications. He was just a traveler without any hidden agenda. In fact (as he claimed), he hadn't even spoken with the president or been in his presence since he arrived.

During this disturbance, White was preparing for his homeward voyage in the steamship that was to sail within two or three days. About noon, Keogh, the restless, took his camera out with the hope of speeding the lagging hours. The town was now as quiet as if peace had never departed from her perch on the red-tiled roofs.

During this disruption, White was getting ready for his trip home on the steamship that was set to leave in the next couple of days. Around noon, Keogh, who was always on the move, took out his camera to help pass the time. The town was now as quiet as if peace had never left its place among the red-tiled roofs.

About the middle of the afternoon, Keogh hurried back to the hotel with something decidedly special in his air. He retired to the little room where he developed his pictures.

About the middle of the afternoon, Keogh hurried back to the hotel with something definitely special about him. He went to the small room where he developed his photos.

Later on he came out to White on the balcony, with a luminous, grim, predatory smile on his face.

Later on he stepped out to White on the balcony, wearing a bright, intense, predatory smile.

“Do you know what that is?” he asked, holding up a 4 × 5 photograph mounted on cardboard.

“Do you know what that is?” he asked, holding up a 4 × 5 photograph mounted on cardboard.

“Snap-shot of a señorita sitting in the sand—alliteration unintentional,” guessed White, lazily.

“Snapshot of a young woman sitting in the sand—alliteration unintentional,” guessed White, lazily.

“Wrong,” said Keogh with shining eyes. “It’s a slung-shot. It’s a can of dynamite. It’s a gold mine. It’s a sight-draft on your president man for twenty thousand dollars—yes, sir—twenty thousand this time, and no spoiling the picture. No ethics of art in the way. Art! You with your smelly little tubes! I’ve got you skinned to death with a kodak. Take a look at that.”

“Wrong,” said Keogh with bright eyes. “It’s a slingshot. It’s a can of dynamite. It’s a gold mine. It’s a sight draft on your president for twenty thousand dollars—yes, sir—twenty thousand this time, and no messing with the image. No ethics of art in the way. Art! You with your smelly little tubes! I’ve got you beat with a Kodak. Take a look at that.”

White took the picture in his hand, and gave a long whistle.

White picked up the picture and let out a long whistle.

“Jove!” he exclaimed, “but wouldn’t that stir up a row in town if you let it be seen. How in the world did you get it, Billy?”

“Wow!” he exclaimed, “but wouldn’t that cause a big commotion in town if you let it be seen. How on earth did you get it, Billy?”

“You know that high wall around the president man’s back garden? I was up there trying to get a bird’s-eye of the town. I happened to notice a chink in the wall where a stone and a lot of plaster had slid out. Thinks I, I’ll take a peep through to see how Mr. President’s cabbages are growing. The first thing I saw was him and this Sir Englishman sitting at a little table about twenty feet away. They had the table all spread over with documents, and they were hobnobbing over them as thick as two pirates. ’Twas a nice corner of the garden, all private and shady with palms and orange trees, and they had a pail of champagne set by handy in the grass. I knew then was the time for me to make my big hit in Art. So I raised the machine up to the crack, and pressed the button. Just as I did so them old boys shook hands on the deal—you see they took that way in the picture.”

“You know that tall wall around the president's backyard? I was up there trying to get a view of the town. I noticed a gap in the wall where a stone and a lot of plaster had fallen out. I thought, I’ll take a look through to see how Mr. President’s cabbages are growing. The first thing I saw was him and this English guy sitting at a small table about twenty feet away. They had the table covered with documents, and they were chatting over them like two pirates. It was a nice corner of the garden, all private and shady with palms and orange trees, and they had a bucket of champagne nearby on the grass. I knew this was my chance to make my big move in art. So I raised the camera up to the crack and pressed the button. Just as I did that, those guys shook hands on the deal—you see they captured that moment in the picture.”

Keogh put on his coat and hat.

Keogh put on his coat and hat.

“What are you going to do with it?” asked White.

“What are you going to do with it?” asked White.

“Me,” said Keogh in a hurt tone, “why, I’m going to tie a pink ribbon to it and hang it on the what-not, of course. I’m surprised at you. But while I’m out you just try to figure out what ginger-cake potentate would be most likely to want to buy this work of art for his private collection—just to keep it out of circulation.”

“Me,” said Keogh in a hurt tone, “I’m going to tie a pink ribbon on it and hang it on the shelf, obviously. I’m surprised at you. But while I’m out, you should try to figure out which ginger-cake king would most likely want to buy this piece of art for his private collection—just to keep it from being seen by others.”

The sunset was reddening the tops of the cocoanut palms when Billy Keogh came back from Casa Morena. He nodded to the artist’s questioning gaze; and lay down on a cot with his hands under the back of his head.

The sunset was turning the tops of the coconut palms red when Billy Keogh returned from Casa Morena. He nodded to the artist's curious look and lay down on a cot with his hands under his head.

“I saw him. He paid the money like a little man. They didn’t want to let me in at first. I told ’em it was important. Yes, that president man is on the plenty-able list. He’s got a beautiful business system about the way he uses his brains. All I had to do was to hold up the photograph so he could see it, and name the price. He just smiled, and walked over to a safe and got the cash. Twenty one-thousand-dollar brand-new United States Treasury notes he laid on the table, like I’d pay out a dollar and a quarter. Fine notes, too—they crackled with a sound like burning the brush off a ten-acre lot.”

“I saw him. He paid the money like a pro. They didn’t want to let me in at first. I told them it was important. Yeah, that president guy is on the A-list. He’s got a brilliant system for how he uses his smarts. All I had to do was hold up the photograph so he could see it and say the price. He just smiled and walked over to a safe and got the cash. He laid down twenty-one thousand dollars in brand-new U.S. Treasury notes on the table, like I’d be paying a dollar twenty-five. Nice notes, too—they crackled like burning brush on a ten-acre lot.”

“Let’s try the feel of one,” said White, curiously. “I never saw a thousand-dollar bill.” Keogh did not immediately respond.

“Let’s check one out,” White said, intrigued. “I’ve never seen a thousand-dollar bill.” Keogh didn’t answer right away.

“Carry,” he said, in an absent-minded way, “you think a heap of your art, don’t you?”

“Carry,” he said, absent-mindedly, “you really think a lot of your art, don’t you?”

“More,” said White, frankly, “than has been for the financial good of myself and my friends.”

“More,” White said openly, “than has been good for my finances and my friends’ finances.”

“I thought you were a fool the other day,” went on Keogh, quietly, “and I’m not sure now that you wasn’t. But if you was, so am I. I’ve been in some funny deals, Carry, but I’ve always managed to scramble fair, and match my brains and capital against the other fellow’s. But when it comes to—well, when you’ve got the other fellow cinched, and the screws on him, and he’s got to put up—why, it don’t strike me as being a man’s game. They’ve got a name for it, you know; it’s—confound you, don’t you understand? A fellow feels—it’s something like that blamed art of yours—he—well, I tore that photograph up and laid the pieces on that stack of money and shoved the whole business back across the table. ‘Excuse me, Mr. Losada,’ I said, ‘but I guess I’ve made a mistake in the price. You get the photo for nothing.’ Now, Carry, you get out the pencil, and we’ll do some more figuring. I’d like to save enough out of our capital for you to have some fried sausages in your joint when you get back to New York.”

“I thought you were a fool the other day,” Keogh continued quietly, “and I’m not so sure you weren’t. But if you were, so am I. I’ve been in some weird situations, Carry, but I’ve always managed to hold my own, using my smarts and money against the other guy’s. But when it comes to—well, when you’ve got the other guy trapped, and the pressure’s on him, and he has to give in—well, it doesn’t seem like a fair game to me. They have a name for it, you know; it’s—damn it, don’t you get it? A guy feels—it’s kind of like that annoying art of yours—he—well, I ripped that photograph up and laid the pieces on that stack of money and pushed the whole thing back across the table. ‘Excuse me, Mr. Losada,’ I said, ‘but I guess I made a mistake with the price. You get the photo for free.’ Now, Carry, grab a pencil, and we’ll do some more calculations. I want to set aside enough from our money so you can have some fried sausages in your place when you get back to New York.”

XV
DICKY

There is little consecutiveness along the Spanish Main. Things happen there intermittently. Even Time seems to hang his scythe daily on the branch of an orange tree while he takes a siesta and a cigarette.

There’s not much consistency along the Spanish Main. Events unfold here and there. Even Time appears to hang up his scythe every day on the branch of an orange tree while he takes a nap and smokes a cigarette.

After the ineffectual revolt against the administration of President Losada, the country settled again into quiet toleration of the abuses with which he had been charged. In Coralio old political enemies went arm-in-arm, lightly eschewing for the time all differences of opinion.

After the pointless uprising against President Losada's administration, the country fell back into a calm acceptance of the abuses he was accused of. In Coralio, old political rivals walked together, temporarily putting aside their disagreements.

The failure of the art expedition did not stretch the cat-footed Keogh upon his back. The ups and downs of Fortune made smooth travelling for his nimble steps. His blue pencil stub was at work again before the smoke of the steamer on which White sailed had cleared away from the horizon. He had but to speak a word to Geddie to find his credit negotiable for whatever goods he wanted from the store of Brannigan & Company. On the same day on which White arrived in New York Keogh, at the rear of a train of five pack mules loaded with hardware and cutlery, set his face toward the grim, interior mountains. There the Indian tribes wash gold dust from the auriferous streams; and when a market is brought to them trading is brisk and muy bueno in the Cordilleras.

The failure of the art expedition didn’t knock the stealthy Keogh off his game. The ups and downs of Fortune made it easy for him to navigate smoothly. His blue pencil stub was busy again before the smoke from the steamer that White took had even cleared from the horizon. All he had to do was say a word to Geddie to have his credit accepted for whatever he wanted from Brannigan & Company’s store. On the same day that White arrived in New York, Keogh, at the back of a train of five pack mules loaded with hardware and cutlery, headed toward the rugged interior mountains. There, the Indian tribes wash gold dust from the gold-rich streams; and when a market comes to them, trading is lively and muy bueno in the Cordilleras.

In Coralio Time folded his wings and paced wearily along his drowsy path. They who had most cheered the torpid hours were gone. Clancy had sailed on a Spanish barque for Colon, contemplating a cut across the isthmus and then a further voyage to end at Calao, where the fighting was said to be on. Geddie, whose quiet and genial nature had once served to mitigate the frequent dull reaction of lotus eating, was now a home-man, happy with his bright orchid, Paula, and never even dreaming of or regretting the unsolved, sealed and monogramed Bottle whose contents, now inconsiderable, were held safely in the keeping of the sea.

In Coralio, Time folded his wings and walked wearily along his sleepy path. Those who had once cheered the slow hours were gone. Clancy had set sail on a Spanish ship for Colon, planning a shortcut across the isthmus and then a further journey to Calao, where the fighting was rumored to be happening. Geddie, whose calm and friendly nature had once helped ease the frequent boredom of idleness, was now a homebody, happy with his bright orchid, Paula, and never even thinking about or regretting the unsolved, sealed, and monogrammed Bottle whose contents, now insignificant, were safely kept by the sea.

Well may the Walrus, most discerning and eclectic of beasts, place sealing-wax midway on his programme of topics that fall pertinent and diverting upon the ear.

Well may the Walrus, the most perceptive and eclectic of creatures, include sealing-wax in the middle of his list of topics that are relevant and entertaining to hear.

Atwood was gone—he of the hospitable back porch and ingenuous cunning. Dr. Gregg, with his trepanning story smouldering within him, was a whiskered volcano, always showing signs of imminent eruption, and was not to be considered in the ranks of those who might contribute to the amelioration of ennui. The new consul’s note chimed with the sad sea waves and the violent tropical greens—he had not a bar of Scheherezade or of the Round Table in his lute. Goodwin was employed with large projects: what time he was loosed from them found him at his home, where he loved to be. Therefore it will be seen that there was a dearth of fellowship and entertainment among the foreign contingent of Coralio.

Atwood was gone—he of the welcoming back porch and clever charm. Dr. Gregg, with his intense trepanning story simmering inside him, was like a bearded volcano, always showing signs of about to erupt, and couldn't be counted among those who might help ease the boredom. The new consul’s note resonated with the mournful sea waves and the vivid tropical greens—he didn't have a hint of Scheherezade or the Round Table in his music. Goodwin was busy with big projects: whenever he got a break from them, he was at home, where he preferred to be. So, it’s clear that there was a lack of companionship and entertainment among the foreign crowd in Coralio.

And then Dicky Maloney dropped down from the clouds upon the town, and amused it.

And then Dicky Maloney came down from the clouds and entertained the town.

Nobody knew where Dicky Maloney hailed from or how he reached Coralio. He appeared there one day; and that was all. He afterward said that he came on the fruit steamer Thor; but an inspection of the Thor’s passenger list of that date was found to be Maloneyless. Curiosity, however, soon perished; and Dicky took his place among the odd fish cast up by the Caribbean.

Nobody knew where Dicky Maloney came from or how he ended up in Coralio. He just showed up one day, and that was it. He later claimed he arrived on the fruit steamer Thor; however, checking the Thor’s passenger list for that date showed he was not on it. Still, curiosity faded quickly, and Dicky settled in among the strange characters washed up by the Caribbean.

He was an active, devil-may-care, rollicking fellow with an engaging gray eye, the most irresistible grin, a rather dark or much sunburned complexion, and a head of the fieriest red hair ever seen in that country. Speaking the Spanish language as well as he spoke English, and seeming always to have plenty of silver in his pockets, it was not long before he was a welcome companion whithersoever he went. He had an extreme fondness for vino blanco, and gained the reputation of being able to drink more of it than any three men in town. Everybody called him “Dicky”; everybody cheered up at the sight of him—especially the natives, to whom his marvellous red hair and his free-and-easy style were a constant delight and envy. Wherever you went in the town you would soon see Dicky or hear his genial laugh, and find around him a group of admirers who appreciated him both for his good nature and the white wine he was always so ready to buy.

He was a lively, carefree guy with a charming gray eye, the most irresistible smile, a pretty dark or heavily sunburned complexion, and the brightest red hair you’d ever see in that place. He spoke Spanish as well as he spoke English, and it wasn’t long before he became a welcome friend wherever he went, seeming to always have plenty of cash in his pockets. He had a huge love for vino blanco, earning a reputation for being able to drink more of it than any three guys in town. Everyone called him “Dicky”; everyone felt better just seeing him—especially the locals, who found his amazing red hair and laid-back attitude endlessly entertaining and enviable. No matter where you went in town, you would soon spot Dicky or hear his cheerful laugh, and find a crowd of fans around him who valued him for his friendly nature and the white wine he was always eager to buy.

A considerable amount of speculation was had concerning the object of his sojourn there, until one day he silenced this by opening a small shop for the sale of tobacco, dulces and the handiwork of the interior Indians—fibre-and-silk-woven goods, deerskin zapatos and basketwork of tule reeds. Even then he did not change his habits; for he was drinking and playing cards half the day and night with the comandante, the collector of customs, the Jefe Politico and other gay dogs among the native officials.

A lot of speculation surrounded why he was staying there, until one day he put an end to it by opening a small shop selling tobacco, dulces, and the crafts of the local Indigenous people—goods woven from fiber and silk, deerskin zapatos, and basketwork made from tule reeds. Even then, he didn't change his ways; he spent half the day and night drinking and playing cards with the comandante, the customs collector, the Jefe Politico, and other lively characters among the local officials.

One day Dicky saw Pasa, the daughter of Madama Ortiz, sitting in the side-door of the Hotel de los Estranjeros. He stopped in his tracks, still, for the first time in Coralio; and then he sped, swift as a deer, to find Vasquez, a gilded native youth, to present him.

One day, Dicky spotted Pasa, Madama Ortiz's daughter, sitting in the side door of the Hotel de los Estranjeros. He froze in place, for the first time in Coralio, and then rushed, quick as a deer, to find Vasquez, a flashy local guy, to introduce her to.

The young men had named Pasa “La Santita Naranjadita.” Naranjadita is a Spanish word for a certain colour that you must go to more trouble to describe in English. By saying “The little saint, tinted the most beautiful-delicate-slightly-orange-golden,” you will approximate the description of Madama Ortiz’s daughter.

The young men had named Pasa “La Santita Naranjadita.” Naranjadita is a Spanish word for a specific color that’s harder to explain in English. By saying “The little saint, shaded the most beautiful, delicate, slightly orange-golden,” you can get close to describing Madama Ortiz’s daughter.

La Madama Ortiz sold rum in addition to other liquors. Now, you must know that the rum expiates whatever opprobrium attends upon the other commodities. For rum-making, mind you, is a government monopoly; and to keep a government dispensary assures respectability if not preëminence. Moreover, the saddest of precisians could find no fault with the conduct of the shop. Customers drank there in the lowest of spirits and fearsomely, as in the shadow of the dead; for Madama’s ancient and vaunted lineage counteracted even the rum’s behest to be merry. For, was she not of the Iglesias, who landed with Pizarro? And had not her deceased husband been comisionado de caminos y puentes for the district?

La Madama Ortiz sold rum along with other spirits. Now, you should know that the rum makes up for any shame that comes with the other drinks. You see, rum production is a government monopoly, and running a government store guarantees respectability, if not superiority. Besides, even the strictest critics couldn’t find anything wrong with how the shop was run. Customers drank there in the most somber moods, almost fearfully, as if in the presence of the dead; because Madama’s long and proud heritage tempered even the rum’s call to be cheerful. After all, wasn’t she from the Iglesias family, who arrived with Pizarro? And hadn’t her late husband been the local comisionado de caminos y puentes?

In the evenings Pasa sat by the window in the room next to the one where they drank, and strummed dreamily upon her guitar. And then, by twos and threes, would come visiting young caballeros and occupy the prim line of chairs set against the wall of this room. They were there to besiege the heart of “La Santita.” Their method (which is not proof against intelligent competition) consisted of expanding the chest, looking valorous, and consuming a gross or two of cigarettes. Even saints delicately oranged prefer to be wooed differently.

In the evenings, Pasa would sit by the window in the room next to where they were drinking, and she would absentmindedly strum her guitar. Then, in groups of two or three, young men would come by to visit and take their places on the neat row of chairs that lined the wall of that room. They were there to try to win over the heart of “La Santita.” Their approach (which isn’t effective against smart competition) involved puffing out their chests, trying to look brave, and smoking a couple of packs of cigarettes. Even saints with a touch of orange prefer to be courted in other ways.

Doña Pasa would tide over the vast chasms of nicotinized silence with music from her guitar, while she wondered if the romances she had read about gallant and more—more contiguous cavaliers were all lies. At somewhat regular intervals Madama would glide in from the dispensary with a sort of drought-suggesting gleam in her eye, and there would be a rustling of stiffly-starched white trousers as one of the caballeros would propose an adjournment to the bar.

Doña Pasa would fill the deep silence filled with smoke with music from her guitar, while she wondered if the love stories she'd read about brave and more—more intimate knights were all just fiction. Every so often, Madama would come in from the dispensary with a look in her eye that suggested a thirst, and there would be a rustling of stiff, starched white pants as one of the gentlemen would suggest a trip to the bar.

That Dicky Maloney would, sooner or later, explore this field was a thing to be foreseen. There were few doors in Coralio into which his red head had not been poked.

That Dicky Maloney would eventually explore this area was something to be expected. There were hardly any doors in Coralio that his red head hadn’t poked into.

In an incredibly short space of time after his first sight of her he was there, seated close beside her rocking chair. There were no back-against-the-wall poses in Dicky’s theory of wooing. His plan of subjection was an attack at close range. To carry the fortress with one concentrated, ardent, eloquent, irresistible escalade—that was Dicky’s way.

In an incredibly short amount of time after he first saw her, he was there, sitting right next to her rocking chair. Dicky didn’t believe in playing hard to get. His approach to romance was a close-up strategy. His plan was to take the heart by launching a focused, passionate, smooth, and irresistible charm offensive—that was how Dicky operated.

Pasa was descended from the proudest Spanish families in the country. Moreover, she had had unusual advantages. Two years in a New Orleans school had elevated her ambitions and fitted her for a fate above the ordinary maidens of her native land. And yet here she succumbed to the first red-haired scamp with a glib tongue and a charming smile that came along and courted her properly.

Pasa came from one of the most distinguished Spanish families in the country. Additionally, she had some unique opportunities. Two years at a school in New Orleans had raised her ambitions and prepared her for a future above that of the typical young women from her homeland. Yet, she ended up falling for the first red-haired troublemaker with a smooth talk and a charming smile who came along and wooed her properly.

Very soon Dicky took her to the little church on the corner of the plaza, and “Mrs. Maloney” was added to her string of distinguished names.

Very soon, Dicky took her to the small church on the corner of the plaza, and “Mrs. Maloney” was added to her collection of distinguished names.

And it was her fate to sit, with her patient, saintly eyes and figure like a bisque Psyche, behind the sequestered counter of the little shop, while Dicky drank and philandered with his frivolous acquaintances.

And it was her fate to sit, with her patient, saintly eyes and a figure like a porcelain Psyche, behind the secluded counter of the small shop, while Dicky drank and flirted with his superficial friends.

The women, with their naturally fine instinct, saw a chance for vivisection, and delicately taunted her with his habits. She turned upon them in a beautiful, steady blaze of sorrowful contempt.

The women, with their keen instincts, saw an opportunity for mockery and subtly teased her about his habits. She confronted them with a stunning, unwavering display of sorrowful disdain.

“You meat-cows,” she said, in her level, crystal-clear tones; “you know nothing of a man. Your men are maromeros. They are fit only to roll cigarettes in the shade until the sun strikes and shrivels them up. They drone in your hammocks and you comb their hair and feed them with fresh fruit. My man is of no such blood. Let him drink of the wine. When he has taken sufficient of it to drown one of your flaccitos he will come home to me more of a man than one thousand of your pobrecitos. My hair he smooths and braids; to me he sings; he himself removes my zapatos, and there, there, upon each instep leaves a kiss. He holds— Oh, you will never understand! Blind ones who have never known a man.”

“You meat-cows,” she said, in her clear, steady voice; “you know nothing about a man. Your men are just maromeros. They’re only good for rolling cigarettes in the shade until the sun beats down and shrivels them up. They lounge in your hammocks while you comb their hair and feed them fresh fruit. My man isn’t like that at all. Let him drink the wine. When he’s had enough to drown one of your flaccitos, he’ll come home to me more of a man than a thousand of your pobrecitos. My hair he smooths and braids; he sings to me; he even takes off my zapatos, and there, right there, on each instep, he leaves a kiss. He holds— Oh, you will never understand! Blind ones who have never known a man.”

Sometimes mysterious things happened at night about Dicky’s shop. While the front of it was dark, in the little room back of it Dicky and a few of his friends would sit about a table carrying on some kind of very quiet negocios until quite late. Finally he would let them out the front door very carefully, and go upstairs to his little saint. These visitors were generally conspirator-like men with dark clothes and hats. Of course, these dark doings were noticed after a while, and talked about.

Sometimes strange things happened at night at Dicky’s shop. While the front was dark, in the small room at the back, Dicky and a few of his friends would sit around a table, quietly engaging in some sort of business until late. Finally, he would carefully let them out the front door and go upstairs to his little saint. These visitors were usually suspicious-looking men dressed in dark clothes and hats. Naturally, these shady activities were noticed after a while and became a topic of discussion.

Dicky seemed to care nothing at all for the society of the alien residents of the town. He avoided Goodwin, and his skilful escape from the trepanning story of Dr. Gregg is still referred to, in Coralio, as a masterpiece of lightning diplomacy.

Dicky didn't seem to care at all about hanging out with the local alien residents. He steered clear of Goodwin, and his clever way of getting out of Dr. Gregg's trepanning story is still talked about in Coralio as a brilliant example of quick thinking.

Many letters arrived, addressed to “Mr. Dicky Maloney,” or “Señor Dickee Maloney,” to the considerable pride of Pasa. That so many people should desire to write to him only confirmed her own suspicion that the light from his red head shone around the world. As to their contents she never felt curiosity. There was a wife for you!

Many letters came in, addressed to “Mr. Dicky Maloney” or “Señor Dickee Maloney,” which made Pasa really proud. The fact that so many people wanted to write to him just confirmed her belief that the shine from his red hair reached around the world. She never felt curious about what they said. Now that’s what you call a wife!

The one mistake Dicky made in Coralio was to run out of money at the wrong time. Where his money came from was a puzzle, for the sales of his shop were next to nothing, but that source failed, and at a peculiarly unfortunate time. It was when the comandante, Don Señor el Coronel Encarnación Rios, looked upon the little saint seated in the shop and felt his heart go pitapat.

The one mistake Dicky made in Coralio was running out of money at the worst possible time. It was a mystery where his money came from, as his shop's sales were almost nothing, but that source dried up just when he needed it most. It happened when the comandante, Don Señor el Coronel Encarnación Rios, looked at the small saint sitting in the shop and felt his heart race.

The comandante, who was versed in all the intricate arts of gallantry, first delicately hinted at his sentiments by donning his dress uniform and strutting up and down fiercely before her window. Pasa, glancing demurely with her saintly eyes, instantly perceived his resemblance to her parrot, Chichi, and was diverted to the extent of a smile. The comandante saw the smile, which was not intended for him. Convinced of an impression made, he entered the shop, confidently, and advanced to open compliment. Pasa froze; he pranced; she flamed royally; he was charmed to injudicious persistence; she commanded him to leave the shop; he tried to capture her hand,—and Dicky entered, smiling broadly, full of white wine and the devil.

The comandante, skilled in all the complex arts of flirting, first subtly expressed his feelings by putting on his dress uniform and strutting aggressively back and forth in front of her window. Pasa, looking shyly through her angelic eyes, immediately noticed how much he resembled her parrot, Chichi, and couldn't help but smile. The comandante saw the smile, which wasn't meant for him. Believing he had made an impression, he entered the shop with confidence and approached her with a flattering remark. Pasa tensed up; he strutted; she blushed fiercely; he was enchanted with reckless determination; she demanded he leave the shop; he attempted to take her hand—just then, Dicky walked in, grinning widely, full of white wine and mischief.

He spent five minutes in punishing the comandante scientifically and carefully, so that the pain might be prolonged as far as possible. At the end of that time he pitched the rash wooer out the door upon the stones of the street, senseless.

He spent five minutes methodically punishing the comandante with precision, ensuring that the pain lasted as long as possible. When he was done, he threw the reckless suitor out the door onto the stones of the street, leaving him unconscious.

A barefooted policeman who had been watching the affair from across the street blew a whistle. A squad of four soldiers came running from the cuartel around the corner. When they saw that the offender was Dicky, they stopped, and blew more whistles, which brought out reënforcements of eight. Deeming the odds against them sufficiently reduced, the military advanced upon the disturber.

A barefoot policeman who had been watching the situation from across the street blew a whistle. A squad of four soldiers came running from the cuartel around the corner. When they saw that the offender was Dicky, they stopped and blew more whistles, which brought out reinforcements of eight. Considering the odds had improved enough, the military moved in on the troublemaker.

Dicky, being thoroughly imbued with the martial spirit, stooped and drew the comandante’s sword, which was girded about him, and charged his foe. He chased the standing army four squares, playfully prodding its squealing rear and hacking at its ginger-coloured heels.

Dicky, fully filled with the warrior's spirit, bent down and pulled the comandante’s sword from his side, then charged at his enemy. He pursued the standing army for four blocks, teasing its squealing back and slashing at its ginger-colored heels.

But he was not so successful with the civic authorities. Six muscular, nimble policemen overpowered him and conveyed him, triumphantly but warily, to jail. “El Diablo Colorado” they dubbed him, and derided the military for its defeat.

But he wasn't as lucky with the city officials. Six strong, quick policemen subdued him and took him, proudly but cautiously, to jail. “The Red Devil” they called him, mocking the military for their defeat.

Dicky, with the rest of the prisoners, could look out through the barred door at the grass of the little plaza, at a row of orange trees and the red tile roofs and ’dobe walls of a line of insignificant stores.

Dicky, along with the other prisoners, could see through the barred door at the grass of the small plaza, a row of orange trees, and the red tile roofs and adobe walls of a line of unremarkable shops.

At sunset along a path across this plaza came a melancholy procession of sad-faced women bearing plantains, cassaba, bread and fruit—each coming with food to some wretch behind those bars to whom she still clung and furnished the means of life. Twice a day—morning and evening—they were permitted to come. Water was furnished to her compulsory guests by the republic, but no food.

At sunset, a sorrowful line of women walked along a path through the plaza, their faces drawn as they carried plantains, cassava, bread, and fruit—each bringing food to someone behind those bars whom they still cared for and supported. Twice a day—morning and evening—they were allowed to visit. The republic provided water for these mandatory guests, but not food.

That evening Dicky’s name was called by the sentry, and he stepped before the bars of the door. There stood his little saint, a black mantilla draped about her head and shoulders, her face like glorified melancholy, her clear eyes gazing longingly at him as if they might draw him between the bars to her. She brought a chicken, some oranges, dulces and a loaf of white bread. A soldier inspected the food, and passed it in to Dicky. Pasa spoke calmly, as she always did, briefly, in her thrilling, flute-like tones. “Angel of my life,” she said, “let it not be long that thou art away from me. Thou knowest that life is not a thing to be endured with thou not at my side. Tell me if I can do aught in this matter. If not, I will wait—a little while. I come again in the morning.”

That evening, the guard called for Dicky, and he stepped up to the bars of the door. There stood his little saint, a black shawl draped over her head and shoulders, her face radiating a kind of beautiful sadness, her clear eyes gazing longingly at him as if they could pull him through the bars to her. She brought a chicken, some oranges, sweets, and a loaf of white bread. A soldier checked the food and handed it over to Dicky. Pasa spoke calmly, as she always did, briefly, in her enchanting, flute-like voice. “Angel of my life,” she said, “please don’t be away from me for long. You know that life is unbearable without you by my side. Let me know if there’s anything I can do about this. If not, I will wait—a little while. I’ll come back in the morning.”

Dicky, with his shoes removed so as not to disturb his fellow prisoners, tramped the floor of the jail half the night condemning his lack of money and the cause of it—whatever that might have been. He knew very well that money would have bought his release at once.

Dicky, having taken off his shoes to avoid bothering the other prisoners, paced the jail floor for half the night, cursing his lack of money and the reason for it—whatever that was. He knew that having money would have gotten him out right away.

For two days succeeding Pasa came at the appointed times and brought him food. He eagerly inquired each time if a letter or package had come for him, and she mournfully shook her head.

For two days after, Pasa showed up at the scheduled times and brought him food. Each time, he eagerly asked if a letter or package had arrived for him, and she sadly shook her head.

On the morning of the third day she brought only a small loaf of bread. There were dark circles under her eyes. She seemed as calm as ever.

On the morning of the third day, she brought just a small loaf of bread. There were dark circles under her eyes. She looked as calm as ever.

“By jingo,” said Dicky, who seemed to speak in English or Spanish as the whim seized him, “this is dry provender, muchachita. Is this the best you can dig up for a fellow?”

“Wow,” said Dicky, who switched between English and Spanish as the mood struck him, “this is some dry food, muchachita. Is this the best you can find for a guy?”

Pasa looked at him as a mother looks at a beloved but capricious babe.

Pasa looked at him like a mother looks at her cherished but unpredictable child.

“Think better of it,” she said, in a low voice; “since for the next meal there will be nothing. The last centavo is spent.” She pressed closer against the grating.

“Think twice about it,” she said, in a quiet voice; “because there won’t be anything for the next meal. The last centavo is gone.” She leaned closer against the grating.

“Sell the goods in the shop—take anything for them.”

“Sell the products in the store—accept anything for them.”

“Have I not tried? Did I not offer them for one-tenth their cost? Not even one peso would any one give. There is not one real in this town to assist Dickee Malonee.”

“Have I not tried? Did I not offer them for one-tenth of their cost? Not even one peso would anyone give. There isn’t a single real in this town to help Dickee Malonee.”

Dick clenched his teeth grimly. “That’s the comandante,” he growled. “He’s responsible for that sentiment. Wait, oh, wait till the cards are all out.”

Dick clenched his teeth tightly. “That’s the comandante,” he growled. “He’s behind that feeling. Just wait, oh, wait until all the cards are on the table.”

Pasa lowered her voice to almost a whisper. “And, listen, heart of my heart,” she said, “I have endeavoured to be brave, but I cannot live without thee. Three days now—”

Pasa lowered her voice to almost a whisper. “And, listen, my dearest,” she said, “I’ve tried to be strong, but I can’t live without you. It’s been three days now—”

Dicky caught a faint gleam of steel from the folds of her mantilla. For once she looked in his face and saw it without a smile, stern, menacing and purposeful. Then he suddenly raised his hand and his smile came back like a gleam of sunshine. The hoarse signal of an incoming steamer’s siren sounded in the harbour. Dicky called to the sentry who was pacing before the door: “What steamer comes?”

Dicky caught a slight flash of metal from the folds of her shawl. For the first time, she looked into his face and saw it serious, threatening, and determined. Then he quickly raised his hand, and his smile returned like a ray of sunshine. The rough sound of an incoming steamer’s horn echoed in the harbor. Dicky called to the guard walking in front of the door, "What steamer is coming?"

“The Catarina.”

“The Catarina.”

“Of the Vesuvius line?”

"From the Vesuvius line?"

“Without doubt, of that line.”

"Definitely from that line."

“Go you, picarilla,” said Dicky joyously to Pasa, “to the American consul. Tell him I wish to speak with him. See that he comes at once. And look you! let me see a different look in those eyes, for I promise your head shall rest upon this arm to-night.”

“Go on, picarilla,” Dicky said happily to Pasa, “to the American consul. Tell him I want to speak with him. Make sure he comes right away. And listen! I want to see a different expression in those eyes, because I promise your head will rest on this arm tonight.”

It was an hour before the consul came. He held his green umbrella under his arm, and mopped his forehead impatiently.

It was an hour before the consul arrived. He tucked his green umbrella under his arm and wiped his forehead impatiently.

“Now, see here, Maloney,” he began, captiously, “you fellows seem to think you can cut up any kind of row, and expect me to pull you out of it. I’m neither the War Department nor a gold mine. This country has its laws, you know, and there’s one against pounding the senses out of the regular army. You Irish are forever getting into trouble. I don’t see what I can do. Anything like tobacco, now, to make you comfortable—or newspapers—”

“Now, listen up, Maloney,” he started, critically, “you guys seem to think you can stir up any kind of trouble and expect me to bail you out. I’m not the War Department or a cash cow. This country has its laws, you know, and there’s a rule against beating up the regular army. You Irish always seem to get into trouble. I don’t know what I can do. Anything like tobacco, maybe, to make you feel better—or newspapers—”

“Son of Eli,” interrupted Dicky, gravely, “you haven’t changed an iota. That is almost a duplicate of the speech you made when old Koen’s donkeys and geese got into the chapel loft, and the culprits wanted to hide in your room.”

“Son of Eli,” Dicky interjected seriously, “you haven't changed a bit. That's pretty much the exact same speech you gave when old Koen's donkeys and geese got into the chapel loft, and the offenders wanted to hide in your room.”

“Oh, heavens!” exclaimed the consul, hurriedly adjusting his spectacles. “Are you a Yale man, too? Were you in that crowd? I don’t seem to remember any one with red—any one named Maloney. Such a lot of college men seem to have misused their advantages. One of the best mathematicians of the class of ’91 is selling lottery tickets in Belize. A Cornell man dropped off here last month. He was second steward on a guano boat. I’ll write to the department if you like, Maloney. Or if there’s any tobacco, or newspa—”

“Oh my goodness!” the consul exclaimed, quickly adjusting his glasses. “Are you also a Yale grad? Were you in that crowd? I don’t remember anyone with red—anyone named Maloney. So many college guys seem to have wasted their opportunities. One of the top mathematicians from the class of ’91 is selling lottery tickets in Belize. A Cornell guy was here last month. He was the second steward on a guano boat. I can write to the department if you want, Maloney. Or if there’s any tobacco, or newspapers—”

“There’s nothing,” interrupted Dicky, shortly, “but this. You go tell the captain of the Catarina that Dicky Maloney wants to see him as soon as he can conveniently come. Tell him where I am. Hurry. That’s all.”

“There's nothing,” Dicky interrupted brusquely, “but this. You go tell the captain of the Catarina that Dicky Maloney wants to see him as soon as he can. Let him know where I am. Hurry. That’s it.”

The consul, glad to be let off so easily, hurried away. The captain of the Catarina, a stout man, Sicilian born, soon appeared, shoving, with little ceremony, through the guards to the jail door. The Vesuvius Fruit Company had a habit of doing things that way in Anchuria.

The consul, happy to get off so easily, rushed away. The captain of the Catarina, a hefty man from Sicily, quickly showed up, pushing his way past the guards to the jail door without much fuss. The Vesuvius Fruit Company had a habit of handling things this way in Anchuria.

“I am exceedingly sorry—exceedingly sorry,” said the captain, “to see this occur. I place myself at your service, Mr. Maloney. What you need shall be furnished. Whatever you say shall be done.”

“I’m really sorry—really sorry,” said the captain, “to see this happen. I’m here to help you, Mr. Maloney. Whatever you need will be taken care of. Whatever you say will be done.”

Dicky looked at him unsmilingly. His red hair could not detract from his attitude of severe dignity as he stood, tall and calm, with his now grim mouth forming a horizontal line.

Dicky looked at him without smiling. His red hair didn’t take away from his serious demeanor as he stood tall and calm, his now stern mouth set in a straight line.

“Captain De Lucco, I believe I still have funds in the hands of your company—ample and personal funds. I ordered a remittance last week. The money has not arrived. You know what is needed in this game. Money and money and more money. Why has it not been sent?”

“Captain De Lucco, I believe I still have funds with your company—plenty of personal funds. I requested a transfer last week. The money hasn’t come through. You know what’s needed in this game. Money, money, and more money. Why hasn’t it been sent?”

“By the Cristobal,” replied De Lucco, gesticulating, “it was despatched. Where is the Cristobal? Off Cape Antonio I spoke her with a broken shaft. A tramp coaster was towing her back to New Orleans. I brought money ashore thinking your need for it might not withstand delay. In this envelope is one thousand dollars. There is more if you need it, Mr. Maloney.”

“By the Cristobal,” replied De Lucco, waving his hands, “it was sent off. Where is the Cristobal? Off Cape Antonio, I saw her with a broken shaft. A cargo ship was towing her back to New Orleans. I brought cash ashore thinking you might need it urgently. In this envelope is one thousand dollars. I have more if you need it, Mr. Maloney.”

“For the present it will suffice,” said Dicky, softening as he crinkled the envelope and looked down at the half-inch thickness of smooth, dingy bills.

“For now, this will be enough,” said Dicky, easing up as he crumpled the envelope and glanced at the half-inch stack of smooth, worn bills.

“The long green!” he said, gently, with a new reverence in his gaze. “Is there anything it will not buy, Captain?”

“The long green!” he said softly, with a new respect in his eyes. “Is there anything it can't buy, Captain?”

“I had three friends,” replied De Lucco, who was a bit of a philosopher, “who had money. One of them speculated in stocks and made ten million; another is in heaven, and the third married a poor girl whom he loved.”

“I had three friends,” replied De Lucco, who was somewhat of a philosopher, “who had money. One of them invested in stocks and made ten million; another is in heaven, and the third married a poor girl he loved.”

“The answer, then,” said Dicky, “is held by the Almighty, Wall Street and Cupid. So, the question remains.”

"The answer, then," Dicky said, "is found with the Almighty, Wall Street, and Cupid. So, the question still stands."

“This,” queried the captain, including Dicky’s surroundings in a significant gesture of his hand, “is it—it is not—it is not connected with the business of your little shop? There is no failure in your plans?”

“This,” asked the captain, gesturing meaningfully at Dicky’s surroundings, “is it—this isn’t related to the operation of your little shop, is it? There’s no problem with your plans, right?”

“No, no,” said Dicky. “This is merely the result of a little private affair of mine, a digression from the regular line of business. They say for a complete life a man must know poverty, love and war. But they don’t go well together, capitán mio. No; there is no failure in my business. The little shop is doing very well.”

“No, no,” said Dicky. “This is just the outcome of a personal situation of mine, a break from the usual business. They say that to have a complete life, a man must experience poverty, love, and war. But those things don’t really mix well, capitán mio. No; there’s no issue with my business. The little shop is doing really well.”

When the captain had departed Dicky called the sergeant of the jail squad and asked:

When the captain left, Dicky called the sergeant of the jail squad and asked:

“Am I preso by the military or by the civil authority?”

“Am I detained by the military or by the civil authority?”

“Surely there is no martial law in effect now, señor.”

“Surely there’s no martial law in effect right now, sir.”

Bueno. Now go or send to the alcalde, the Jues de la Paz and the Jefe de los Policios. Tell them I am prepared at once to satisfy the demands of justice.” A folded bill of the “long green” slid into the sergeant’s hand.

Alright. Now go or send to the mayor, the Justice of the Peace and the Chief of Police. Tell them I’m ready right away to meet the demands of justice.” A folded bill of “cash” slid into the sergeant’s hand.

Then Dicky’s smile came back again, for he knew that the hours of his captivity were numbered; and he hummed, in time with the sentry’s tread:

Then Dicky’s smile returned, because he knew his time in captivity was limited; he hummed along to the rhythm of the guard’s footsteps:

“They’re hanging men and women now,
    For lacking of the green.”

“They're hanging men and women now,
    For not having the cash.”

So, that night Dicky sat by the window of the room over his shop and his little saint sat close by, working at something silken and dainty. Dicky was thoughtful and grave. His red hair was in an unusual state of disorder. Pasa’s fingers often ached to smooth and arrange it, but Dicky would never allow it. He was poring, to-night, over a great litter of maps and books and papers on his table until that perpendicular line came between his brows that always distressed Pasa. Presently she went and brought his hat, and stood with it until he looked up, inquiringly.

So, that night Dicky sat by the window of the room above his shop, and his little saint sat nearby, working on something delicate and silky. Dicky was deep in thought and serious. His red hair was unusually messy. Pasa often felt the urge to smooth it down and tidy it up, but Dicky would never let her. Tonight, he was poring over a huge mess of maps, books, and papers on his table until that familiar crease formed between his brows, which always worried Pasa. Eventually, she went and got his hat, standing there with it until he looked up, curious.

“It is sad for you here,” she explained. “Go out and drink vino blanco. Come back when you get that smile you used to wear. That is what I wish to see.”

“It’s tough for you here,” she said. “Go out and have some white wine. Come back when you have that smile you used to show. That’s what I want to see.”

Dicky laughed and threw down his papers. “The vino blanco stage is past. It has served its turn. Perhaps, after all, there was less entered my mouth and more my ears than people thought. But, there will be no more maps or frowns to-night. I promise you that. Come.”

Dicky laughed and tossed his papers aside. “The vino blanco phase is over. It has had its time. Maybe, after all, I took in less through my mouth and more through my ears than people realized. But, there will be no more maps or frowns tonight. I promise you that. Come.”

They sat upon a reed silleta at the window and watched the quivering gleams from the lights of the Catarina reflected in the harbour.

They sat on a reed silleta at the window and watched the shimmering reflections of the lights from the Catarina in the harbor.

Presently Pasa rippled out one of her infrequent chirrups of audible laughter.

Presently, Pasa let out one of her rare bursts of laughter.

“I was thinking,” she began, anticipating Dicky’s question, “of the foolish things girls have in their minds. Because I went to school in the States I used to have ambitions. Nothing less than to be the president’s wife would satisfy me. And, look, thou red picaroon, to what obscure fate thou hast stolen me!”

“I was thinking,” she started, expecting Dicky’s question, “about the silly things girls think about. Because I went to school in the States, I used to have big dreams. Nothing less than being the president’s wife would make me happy. And look, you sneaky rascal, to what obscure fate you’ve taken me!”

“Don’t give up hope,” said Dicky, smiling. “More than one Irishman has been the ruler of a South American country. There was a dictator of Chili named O’Higgins. Why not a President Maloney, of Anchuria? Say the word, santita mia, and we’ll make the race.”

“Don’t lose hope,” Dicky said with a smile. “More than one Irishman has ruled a South American country. There was a dictator in Chile named O’Higgins. Why not a President Maloney of Anchuria? Just say the word, santita mia, and we’ll go for it.”

“No, no, no, thou red-haired, reckless one!” sighed Pasa; “I am content”—she laid her head against his arm—“here.”

“No, no, no, you red-haired, reckless one!” sighed Pasa; “I’m happy”—she laid her head against his arm—“here.”

XVI
ROUGE ET NOIR

It has been indicated that disaffection followed the elevation of Losada to the presidency. This feeling continued to grow. Throughout the entire republic there seemed to be a spirit of silent, sullen discontent. Even the old Liberal party to which Goodwin, Zavalla and other patriots had lent their aid was disappointed. Losada had failed to become a popular idol. Fresh taxes, fresh import duties and, more than all, his tolerance of the outrageous oppression of citizens by the military had rendered him the most obnoxious president since the despicable Alforan. The majority of his own cabinet were out of sympathy with him. The army, which he had courted by giving it license to tyrannize, had been his main, and thus far adequate support.

It has been noted that dissatisfaction grew after Losada became president. This feeling only intensified. Across the entire country, there was a palpable sense of quiet, gloomy discontent. Even the old Liberal party, which Goodwin, Zavalla, and other patriots had supported, felt let down. Losada had not become a beloved figure. New taxes, increased import duties, and especially his tolerance of the military's outrageous mistreatment of citizens had made him the most hated president since the despicable Alforan. Most of his own cabinet members were unsupportive of him. The army, which he had tried to please by allowing it to act with impunity, had been his main source of support so far.

But the most impolitic of the administration’s moves had been when it antagonized the Vesuvius Fruit Company, an organization plying twelve steamers and with a cash capital somewhat larger than Anchuria’s surplus and debt combined.

But the most unwise move by the administration was when it upset the Vesuvius Fruit Company, a group operating twelve steamers and with a cash capital larger than all of Anchuria’s surplus and debt put together.

Reasonably an established concern like the Vesuvius would become irritated at having a small, retail republic with no rating at all attempt to squeeze it. So when the government proxies applied for a subsidy they encountered a polite refusal. The president at once retaliated by clapping an export duty of one real per bunch on bananas—a thing unprecedented in fruit-growing countries. The Vesuvius Company had invested large sums in wharves and plantations along the Anchurian coast, their agents had erected fine homes in the towns where they had their headquarters, and heretofore had worked with the republic in good-will and with advantage to both. It would lose an immense sum if compelled to move out. The selling price of bananas from Vera Cruz to Trinidad was three reals per bunch. This new duty of one real would have ruined the fruit growers in Anchuria and have seriously discommoded the Vesuvius Company had it declined to pay it. But for some reason, the Vesuvius continued to buy Anchurian fruit, paying four reals for it; and not suffering the growers to bear the loss.

Reasonably, a well-established company like Vesuvius would get upset at a small, low-rated republic trying to squeeze it for profits. So when the government representatives asked for a subsidy, they were politely turned down. The president quickly retaliated by imposing an export duty of one real per bunch on bananas—something unprecedented in fruit-growing countries. The Vesuvius Company had invested heavily in wharves and plantations along the Anchurian coast, their agents had built nice homes in the towns where they had their headquarters, and until now, they had worked with the republic in a mutually beneficial way. They would face huge losses if forced to leave. The selling price of bananas from Vera Cruz to Trinidad was three reals per bunch. This new duty of one real would have devastated the fruit growers in Anchuria and significantly inconvenienced the Vesuvius Company if they chose not to pay it. Yet for some reason, Vesuvius kept purchasing Anchurian fruit, paying four reals for it, and didn’t let the growers take the hit.

This apparent victory deceived His Excellency; and he began to hunger for more of it. He sent an emissary to request a conference with a representative of the fruit company. The Vesuvius sent Mr. Franzoni, a little, stout, cheerful man, always cool, and whistling airs from Verdi’s operas. Señor Espirition, of the office of the Minister of Finance, attempted the sandbagging in behalf of Anchuria. The meeting took place in the cabin of the Salvador, of the Vesuvius line.

This apparent victory misled His Excellency, making him crave more of it. He sent a messenger to ask for a meeting with someone from the fruit company. The Vesuvius sent Mr. Franzoni, a short, chubby, cheerful man who was always relaxed and whistling tunes from Verdi’s operas. Señor Espirition, from the office of the Minister of Finance, tried to undermine the situation on behalf of Anchuria. The meeting happened in the cabin of the Salvador, of the Vesuvius line.

Señor Espirition opened negotiations by announcing that the government contemplated the building of a railroad to skirt the alluvial coast lands. After touching upon the benefits such a road would confer upon the interests of the Vesuvius, he reached the definite suggestion that a contribution to the road’s expenses of, say, fifty thousand pesos would not be more than an equivalent to benefits received.

Señor Espirition started talks by saying that the government was considering building a railroad to go around the coastal floodplains. After discussing the advantages this road would bring to the interests of the Vesuvius, he made the concrete suggestion that a contribution of about fifty thousand pesos towards the road's expenses would be fair for the benefits received.

Mr. Franzoni denied that his company would receive any benefits from a contemplated road. As its representative he must decline to contribute fifty thousand pesos. But he would assume the responsibility of offering twenty-five.

Mr. Franzoni denied that his company would gain any benefits from the proposed road. As its representative, he must refuse to contribute fifty thousand pesos. However, he would take on the responsibility of offering twenty-five.

Did Señor Espirition understand Señor Franzoni to mean twenty-five thousand pesos?

Did Señor Espirition understand Señor Franzoni to mean twenty-five thousand pesos?

By no means. Twenty-five pesos. And in silver; not in gold.

By no way. Twenty-five pesos. And in silver; not in gold.

“Your offer insults my government,” cried Señor Espirition, rising with indignation.

“Your offer insults my government,” shouted Señor Espirition, standing up in anger.

“Then,” said Mr. Franzoni, in warning tone, “we will change it.”

“Then,” said Mr. Franzoni, in a warning tone, “we will change it.”

The offer was never changed. Could Mr. Franzoni have meant the government?

The offer never changed. Could Mr. Franzoni have been referring to the government?

This was the state of affairs in Anchuria when the winter season opened at Coralio at the end of the second year of Losada’s administration. So, when the government and society made its annual exodus to the seashore it was evident that the presidential advent would not be celebrated by unlimited rejoicing. The tenth of November was the day set for the entrance into Coralio of the gay company from the capital. A narrow-gauge railroad runs twenty miles into the interior from Solitas. The government party travels by carriage from San Mateo to this road’s terminal point, and proceeds by train to Solitas. From here they march in grand procession to Coralio where, on the day of their coming, festivities and ceremonies abound. But this season saw an ominous dawning of the tenth of November.

This was the situation in Anchuria when winter arrived in Coralio at the end of the second year of Losada’s administration. So, when the government and society made their annual trip to the beach, it was clear that the president's arrival wouldn’t be met with endless celebrations. November 10 was the day planned for the lively group from the capital to enter Coralio. A narrow-gauge railroad extends twenty miles inland from Solitas. The government party travels by carriage from San Mateo to the end of this line and then goes by train to Solitas. From there, they march in a grand parade to Coralio, where festivities and ceremonies are plentiful on the day of their arrival. However, this season marked a troubling start to November 10.

Although the rainy season was over, the day seemed to hark back to reeking June. A fine drizzle of rain fell all during the forenoon. The procession entered Coralio amid a strange silence.

Although the rainy season was over, the day felt like a damp June day. A light drizzle of rain fell all morning. The procession entered Coralio in an odd silence.

President Losada was an elderly man, grizzly bearded, with a considerable ratio of Indian blood revealed in his cinnamon complexion. His carriage headed the procession, surrounded and guarded by Captain Cruz and his famous troop of one hundred light horse “El Ciento Huilando.” Colonel Rocas followed, with a regiment of the regular army.

President Losada was an old man with a grizzly beard and a noticeable mix of Indian heritage shown in his cinnamon skin. His carriage led the procession, surrounded and protected by Captain Cruz and his well-known troop of one hundred light horse, “El Ciento Huilando.” Following him was Colonel Rocas, along with a regiment of the regular army.

The president’s sharp, beady eyes glanced about him for the expected demonstration of welcome; but he faced a stolid, indifferent array of citizens. Sight-seers the Anchurians are by birth and habit, and they turned out to their last able-bodied unit to witness the scene; but they maintained an accusive silence. They crowded the streets to the very wheel ruts; they covered the red tile roofs to the eaves, but there was never a “viva” from them. No wreaths of palm and lemon branches or gorgeous strings of paper roses hung from the windows and balconies as was the custom. There was an apathy, a dull, dissenting disapprobation, that was the more ominous because it puzzled. No one feared an outburst, a revolt of the discontents, for they had no leader. The president and those loyal to him had never even heard whispered a name among them capable of crystallizing the dissatisfaction into opposition. No, there could be no danger. The people always procured a new idol before they destroyed an old one.

The president's sharp, beady eyes scanned the crowd for the expected show of welcome, but he was met with a stony, indifferent group of citizens. The Anchurians are natural sightseers, and they came out in full force to witness the event, yet they remained silent and accusatory. They packed the streets right up to the ruts made by wheels and climbed onto the red-tiled roofs, but not a single cheer came from them. There were no wreaths of palm or lemon branches, nor were there beautiful strings of paper roses hanging from the windows and balconies as was the tradition. Instead, there was an apathy, a dull, disapproving murmuring that felt more threatening because it was puzzling. No one expected an outburst or a revolt from the unhappy, as they had no leader. The president and his supporters had never even caught wind of a name among the crowd that could turn their dissatisfaction into opposition. No, there was no danger. The people always found a new idol to worship before destroying the old one.

At length, after a prodigious galloping and curvetting of red-sashed majors, gold-laced colonels and epauletted generals, the procession formed for its annual progress down the Calle Grande to the Casa Morena, where the ceremony of welcome to the visiting president always took place.

Finally, after an impressive display of red-sashed majors, gold-laced colonels, and epauletted generals prancing and galloping, the procession got ready for its yearly march down the Calle Grande to the Casa Morena, where the welcoming ceremony for the visiting president always happened.

The Swiss band led the line of march. After it pranced the local comandante, mounted, and a detachment of his troops. Next came a carriage with four members of the cabinet, conspicuous among them the Minister of War, old General Pilar, with his white moustache and his soldierly bearing. Then the president’s vehicle, containing also the Ministers of Finance and State; and surrounded by Captain Cruz’s light horse formed in a close double file of fours. Following them, the rest of the officials of state, the judges and distinguished military and social ornaments of public and private life.

The Swiss band led the march. Behind them was the local comandante, mounted, along with a group of his troops. Next was a carriage carrying four cabinet members, including the Minister of War, the old General Pilar, with his white mustache and military stature. Then came the president's vehicle, which also held the Ministers of Finance and State, flanked by Captain Cruz’s light cavalry arranged in a close double line. Following them were the remaining state officials, judges, and notable figures from both military and social spheres in public and private life.

As the band struck up, and the movement began, like a bird of ill-omen the Valhalla, the swiftest steamship of the Vesuvius line, glided into the harbour in plain view of the president and his train. Of course, there was nothing menacing about its arrival—a business firm does not go to war with a nation—but it reminded Señor Espirition and others in those carriages that the Vesuvius Fruit Company was undoubtedly carrying something up its sleeve for them.

As the band started playing and the movement got underway, like a bad omen, the Valhalla, the fastest steamship of the Vesuvius line, smoothly entered the harbor right in front of the president and his entourage. Of course, there was nothing threatening about its arrival—a business company doesn’t go to war with a nation—but it served as a reminder to Señor Espirition and others in those carriages that the Vesuvius Fruit Company was definitely up to something.

By the time the van of the procession had reached the government building, Captain Cronin, of the Valhalla, and Mr. Vincenti, member of the Vesuvius Company, had landed and were pushing their way, bluff, hearty and nonchalant, through the crowd on the narrow sidewalk. Clad in white linen, big, debonair, with an air of good-humoured authority, they made conspicuous figures among the dark mass of unimposing Anchurians, as they penetrated to within a few yards of the steps of the Casa Morena. Looking easily above the heads of the crowd, they perceived another that towered above the undersized natives. It was the fiery poll of Dicky Maloney against the wall close by the lower step; and his broad, seductive grin showed that he recognized their presence.

By the time the procession's van reached the government building, Captain Cronin of the Valhalla and Mr. Vincenti from the Vesuvius Company had gotten out and were making their way, bold, cheerful, and relaxed, through the crowd on the narrow sidewalk. Dressed in white linen, tall and charming, with an air of friendly authority, they stood out among the dark crowd of plain Anchurians as they moved to within a few yards of the Casa Morena steps. Looking easily over the heads of the crowd, they spotted someone else who towered over the shorter locals. It was Dicky Maloney's fiery hair against the wall near the lower step, and his broad, enticing grin showed that he recognized them.

Dicky had attired himself becomingly for the festive occasion in a well-fitting black suit. Pasa was close by his side, her head covered with the ubiquitous black mantilla.

Dicky had dressed nicely for the celebration in a well-fitting black suit. Pasa was right by his side, her head covered with the common black mantilla.

Mr. Vincenti looked at her attentively.

Mr. Vincenti looked at her closely.

“Botticelli’s Madonna,” he remarked, gravely. “I wonder when she got into the game. I don’t like his getting tangled with the women. I hoped he would keep away from them.”

“Botticelli’s Madonna,” he said seriously. “I wonder when she got involved. I don't like him getting mixed up with women. I hoped he would stay away from them.”

Captain Cronin’s laugh almost drew attention from the parade.

Captain Cronin's laugh nearly caught the attention of the parade.

“With that head of hair! Keep away from the women! And a Maloney! Hasn’t he got a license? But, nonsense aside, what do you think of the prospects? It’s a species of filibustering out of my line.”

“With that hair! Stay away from the women! And a Maloney! Doesn’t he have a license? But, all jokes aside, what do you think about the prospects? It’s a type of filibustering that’s not really my thing.”

Vincenti glanced again at Dicky’s head and smiled.

Vincenti looked at Dicky's head again and smiled.

Rouge et noir,” he said. “There you have it. Make your play, gentlemen. Our money is on the red.”

Rouge et noir,” he said. “There it is. Go for it, gentlemen. We're betting on red.”

“The lad’s game,” said Cronin, with a commending look at the tall, easy figure by the steps. “But ’tis all like fly-by-night theatricals to me. The talk’s bigger than the stage; there’s a smell of gasoline in the air, and they’re their own audience and scene-shifters.”

“The kid’s game,” said Cronin, giving a nod of approval to the tall, relaxed figure by the steps. “But it all feels like some last-minute theater to me. The hype is bigger than the actual show; there’s a whiff of gasoline in the air, and they’re both their own audience and stagehands.”

They ceased talking, for General Pilar had descended from the first carriage and had taken his stand upon the top step of Casa Morena. As the oldest member of the cabinet, custom had decreed that he should make the address of welcome, presenting the keys of the official residence to the president at its close.

They stopped talking, since General Pilar had come down from the first carriage and stood on the top step of Casa Morena. As the oldest member of the cabinet, tradition required him to give the welcome speech, handing the keys of the official residence to the president at the end.

General Pilar was one of the most distinguished citizens of the republic. Hero of three wars and innumerable revolutions, he was an honoured guest at European courts and camps. An eloquent speaker and a friend to the people, he represented the highest type of the Anchurians.

General Pilar was one of the most respected citizens of the republic. A hero of three wars and countless revolutions, he was a welcomed guest at European courts and camps. An articulate speaker and a champion of the people, he embodied the best qualities of the Anchurians.

Holding in his hand the gilt keys of Casa Morena, he began his address in a historical form, touching upon each administration and the advance of civilization and prosperity from the first dim striving after liberty down to present times. Arriving at the régime of President Losada, at which point, according to precedent, he should have delivered a eulogy upon its wise conduct and the happiness of the people, General Pilar paused. Then he silently held up the bunch of keys high above his head, with his eyes closely regarding it. The ribbon with which they were bound fluttered in the breeze.

Holding the ornate keys to Casa Morena in his hand, he started his speech in a historical way, discussing each administration and the progress of civilization and prosperity from the earliest attempts at liberty up to now. When he reached the era of President Losada, where he was expected to praise its wise leadership and the people’s happiness, General Pilar paused. Then, he silently raised the bunch of keys high above his head, his eyes focused on them. The ribbon tying them together fluttered in the breeze.

“It still blows,” cried the speaker, exultantly. “Citizens of Anchuria, give thanks to the saints this night that our air is still free.”

“It still blows,” shouted the speaker, excitedly. “Citizens of Anchuria, be thankful to the saints tonight that our air is still free.”

Thus disposing of Losada’s administration, he abruptly reverted to that of Olivarra, Anchuria’s most popular ruler. Olivarra had been assassinated nine years before while in the prime of life and usefulness. A faction of the Liberal party led by Losada himself had been accused of the deed. Whether guilty or not, it was eight years before the ambitious and scheming Losada had gained his goal.

Thus getting rid of Losada’s administration, he quickly went back to that of Olivarra, Anchuria’s most popular leader. Olivarra had been assassinated nine years earlier while still young and active. A faction of the Liberal party, led by Losada himself, had been accused of the crime. Whether he was guilty or not, it took eight years for the ambitious and scheming Losada to achieve his goal.

Upon this theme General Pilar’s eloquence was loosed. He drew the picture of the beneficent Olivarra with a loving hand. He reminded the people of the peace, the security and the happiness they had enjoyed during that period. He recalled in vivid detail and with significant contrast the last winter sojourn of President Olivarra in Coralio, when his appearance at their fiestas was the signal for thundering vivas of love and approbation.

Upon this topic, General Pilar spoke with great passion. He depicted the gracious Olivarra with affection. He reminded everyone of the peace, security, and happiness they had experienced during that time. He vividly recalled, with striking contrast, President Olivarra's last winter stay in Coralio, when his presence at their celebrations triggered loud cheers of love and approval.

The first public expression of sentiment from the people that day followed. A low, sustained murmur went among them like the surf rolling along the shore.

The first public display of feeling from the people that day followed. A low, continuous murmur spread among them like the waves rolling onto the beach.

“Ten dollars to a dinner at the Saint Charles,” remarked Mr. Vincenti, “that rouge wins.”

“Ten dollars for dinner at the Saint Charles,” Mr. Vincenti said, “that rouge wins.”

“I never bet against my own interests,” said Captain Cronin, lighting a cigar. “Long-winded old boy, for his age. What’s he talking about?”

“I never bet against my own interests,” said Captain Cronin, lighting a cigar. “He’s a long-winded old guy for his age. What’s he going on about?”

“My Spanish,” replied Vincenti, “runs about ten words to the minute; his is something around two hundred. Whatever he’s saying, he’s getting them warmed up.”

“My Spanish,” replied Vincenti, “is about ten words a minute; his is around two hundred. Whatever he’s saying, he’s getting them engaged.”

“Friends and brothers,” General Pilar was saying, “could I reach out my hand this day across the lamentable silence of the grave to Olivarra ‘the Good,’ to the ruler who was one of you, whose tears fell when you sorrowed, and whose smile followed your joy—I would bring him back to you, but—Olivarra is dead—dead at the hands of a craven assassin!”

“Friends and brothers,” General Pilar was saying, “if only I could reach out today across the heartbreaking silence of the grave to Olivarra ‘the Good,’ to the leader who was one of you, whose tears fell when you mourned, and whose smile celebrated your happiness—I would bring him back to you, but—Olivarra is dead—dead at the hands of a cowardly assassin!”

The speaker turned and gazed boldly into the carriage of the president. His arm remained extended aloft as if to sustain his peroration. The president was listening, aghast, at this remarkable address of welcome. He was sunk back upon his seat, trembling with rage and dumb surprise, his dark hands tightly gripping the carriage cushions.

The speaker turned and boldly looked into the president's carriage. His arm was raised high as if to emphasize his speech. The president listened in shock to this extraordinary welcome. He was slumped back in his seat, shaking with anger and disbelief, his dark hands gripping the cushions tightly.

Half rising, he extended one arm toward the speaker, and shouted a harsh command at Captain Cruz. The leader of the “Flying Hundred” sat his horse, immovable, with folded arms, giving no sign of having heard. Losada sank back again, his dark features distinctly paling.

Half rising, he reached out an arm toward the speaker and yelled a harsh command at Captain Cruz. The leader of the “Flying Hundred” sat on his horse, unmoving, arms crossed, showing no sign that he had heard. Losada sank back down again, his dark features clearly paling.

“Who says that Olivarra is dead?” suddenly cried the speaker, his voice, old as he was, sounding like a battle trumpet. “His body lies in the grave, but to the people he loved he has bequeathed his spirit—yes, more—his learning, his courage, his kindness—yes, more—his youth, his image—people of Anchuria, have you forgotten Ramon, the son of Olivarra?”

“Who says Olivarra is dead?” the speaker suddenly shouted, his voice, despite his age, sounding like a battle trumpet. “His body rests in the grave, but to the people he cared for, he has passed on his spirit—yes, even more—his knowledge, his bravery, his kindness—yes, even more—his youth, his image—people of Anchuria, have you forgotten Ramon, the son of Olivarra?”

Cronin and Vincenti, watching closely, saw Dicky Maloney suddenly raise his hat, tear off his shock of red hair, leap up the steps and stand at the side of General Pilar. The Minister of War laid his arm across the young man’s shoulders. All who had known President Olivarra saw again his same lion-like pose, the same frank, undaunted expression, the same high forehead with the peculiar line of the clustering, crisp black hair.

Cronin and Vincenti, paying close attention, saw Dicky Maloney suddenly lift his hat, pull off his shock of red hair, jump up the steps, and stand next to General Pilar. The Minister of War draped his arm over the young man’s shoulders. Everyone who had known President Olivarra recognized his familiar lion-like stance, the same bold, fearless expression, and the same high forehead with the distinctive line of closely cropped black hair.

General Pilar was an experienced orator. He seized the moment of breathless silence that preceded the storm.

General Pilar was a skilled speaker. He took advantage of the tense silence that came just before the storm.

“Citizens of Anchuria,” he trumpeted, holding aloft the keys to Casa Morena, “I am here to deliver these keys—the keys to your homes and liberty—to your chosen president. Shall I deliver them to Enrico Olivarra’s assassin, or to his son?”

“Citizens of Anchuria,” he proclaimed, raising the keys to Casa Morena, “I am here to hand over these keys—the keys to your homes and freedom—to your elected president. Should I give them to Enrico Olivarra’s killer, or to his son?”

“Olivarra! Olivarra!” the crowd shrieked and howled. All vociferated the magic name—men, women, children and the parrots.

“Olivarra! Olivarra!” the crowd shouted and screamed. Everyone called out the magical name—men, women, children, and the parrots.

And the enthusiasm was not confined to the blood of the plebs. Colonel Rocas ascended the steps and laid his sword theatrically at young Ramon Olivarra’s feet. Four members of the cabinet embraced him. Captain Cruz gave a command, and twenty of El Ciento Huilando dismounted and arranged themselves in a cordon about the steps of Casa Morena.

And the excitement wasn't limited to the common people. Colonel Rocas climbed the steps and dramatically laid his sword at young Ramon Olivarra’s feet. Four cabinet members hugged him. Captain Cruz issued a command, and twenty members of El Ciento Huilando got off their horses and formed a line around the steps of Casa Morena.

But Ramon Olivarra seized that moment to prove himself a born genius and politician. He waved those soldiers aside, and descended the steps to the street. There, without losing his dignity or the distinguished elegance that the loss of his red hair brought him, he took the proletariat to his bosom—the barefooted, the dirty, Indians, Caribs, babies, beggars, old, young, saints, soldiers and sinners—he missed none of them.

But Ramon Olivarra took that opportunity to show he was a natural genius and politician. He waved the soldiers aside and walked down the steps to the street. There, without losing his dignity or the distinguished elegance that came from the loss of his red hair, he embraced the working class—the barefoot, the dirty, Indians, Caribs, babies, beggars, old, young, saints, soldiers, and sinners—he didn’t overlook any of them.

While this act of the drama was being presented, the scene shifters had been busy at the duties that had been assigned to them. Two of Cruz’s dragoons had seized the bridle reins of Losada’s horses; others formed a close guard around the carriage; and they galloped off with the tyrant and his two unpopular Ministers. No doubt a place had been prepared for them. There are a number of well-barred stone apartments in Coralio.

While this part of the play was taking place, the stage crew had been hard at work with their tasks. Two of Cruz’s soldiers had grabbed the reins of Losada’s horses; others formed a tight circle around the carriage; and they sped away with the tyrant and his two disliked Ministers. Surely, a location had been arranged for them. There are several securely locked stone rooms in Coralio.

Rouge wins,” said Mr. Vincenti, calmly lighting another cigar.

Rouge wins,” said Mr. Vincenti, calmly lighting another cigar.

Captain Cronin had been intently watching the vicinity of the stone steps for some time.

Captain Cronin had been closely watching the area around the stone steps for a while.

“Good boy!” he exclaimed suddenly, as if relieved. “I wondered if he was going to forget his Kathleen Mavourneen.”

“Good boy!” he suddenly exclaimed, as if feeling relieved. “I was wondering if he was going to forget his Kathleen Mavourneen.”

Young Olivarra had reascended the steps and spoken a few words to General Pilar. Then that distinguished veteran descended to the ground and approached Pasa, who still stood, wonder-eyed, where Dicky had left her. With his plumed hat in his hand, and his medals and decorations shining on his breast, the general spoke to her and gave her his arm, and they went up the stone steps of the Casa Morena together. And then Ramon Olivarra stepped forward and took both her hands before all the people.

Young Olivarra had climbed back up the steps and said a few words to General Pilar. Then that distinguished veteran came down to the ground and approached Pasa, who was still standing there with wide eyes, just as Dicky had left her. With his feathered hat in hand and his medals shining on his chest, the general spoke to her and offered his arm, and they walked up the stone steps of the Casa Morena together. Then Ramon Olivarra stepped forward and took both of her hands in front of everyone.

And while the cheering was breaking out afresh everywhere, Captain Cronin and Mr. Vincenti turned and walked back toward the shore where the gig was waiting for them.

And while the cheering started up again all around, Captain Cronin and Mr. Vincenti turned and walked back to the shore where the boat was waiting for them.

“There’ll be another ‘presidente proclamada’ in the morning,” said Mr. Vincenti, musingly. “As a rule they are not as reliable as the elected ones, but this youngster seems to have some good stuff in him. He planned and manœuvred the entire campaign. Olivarra’s widow, you know, was wealthy. After her husband was assassinated she went to the States, and educated her son at Yale. The Vesuvius Company hunted him up, and backed him in the little game.”

“There will be another ‘presidente proclamada’ in the morning,” Mr. Vincenti said thoughtfully. “Generally, they aren't as reliable as the elected ones, but this young guy seems to have some potential. He planned and maneuvered the whole campaign. Olivarra's widow, you know, was rich. After her husband was assassinated, she went to the States and educated her son at Yale. The Vesuvius Company tracked him down and supported him in the little game.”

“It’s a glorious thing,” said Cronin, half jestingly, “to be able to discharge a government, and insert one of your own choosing, in these days.”

“It’s a wonderful thing,” said Cronin, half joking, “to be able to get rid of a government and put in one of your own choosing these days.”

“Oh, it is only a matter of business,” said Vincenti, stopping and offering the stump of his cigar to a monkey that swung down from a lime tree; “and that is what moves the world of to-day. That extra real on the price of bananas had to go. We took the shortest way of removing it.”

“Oh, it’s just business,” said Vincenti, stopping and offering the stub of his cigar to a monkey that swung down from a lime tree; “and that’s what drives the world today. That extra real on the price of bananas had to go. We chose the quickest way to get rid of it.”

XVII
TWO RECALLS

There remains three duties to be performed before the curtain falls upon the patched comedy. Two have been promised: the third is no less obligatory.

There are still three tasks to complete before the show wraps up. Two have been promised, and the third is just as necessary.

It was set forth in the programme of this tropic vaudeville that it would be made known why Shorty O’Day, of the Columbia Detective Agency, lost his position. Also that Smith should come again to tell us what mystery he followed that night on the shores of Anchuria when he strewed so many cigar stumps around the cocoanut palm during his lonely night vigil on the beach. These things were promised; but a bigger thing yet remains to be accomplished—the clearing up of a seeming wrong that has been done according to the array of chronicled facts (truthfully set forth) that have been presented. And one voice, speaking, shall do these three things.

It was stated in the program of this tropical vaudeville that we would find out why Shorty O’Day, from the Columbia Detective Agency, lost his job. Also, that Smith would come back to tell us what mystery he was chasing that night on the shores of Anchuria when he left so many cigar butts scattered around the coconut palm during his lonely watch on the beach. These things were promised; but an even greater task lies ahead—the resolution of a seeming injustice that has occurred, based on the collection of documented facts (truthfully presented) that have been shared. And one voice, speaking, shall achieve these three things.

Two men sat on a stringer of a North River pier in the City of New York. A steamer from the tropics had begun to unload bananas and oranges on the pier. Now and then a banana or two would fall from an overripe bunch, and one of the two men would shamble forward, seize the fruit and return to share it with his companion.

Two guys were sitting on a beam of a North River pier in New York City. A ship from the tropics had started to unload bananas and oranges on the dock. Every now and then, a banana or two would drop from an overripe bunch, and one of the guys would shuffle forward, grab the fruit, and come back to share it with his friend.

One of the men was in the ultimate stage of deterioration. As far as rain and wind and sun could wreck the garments he wore, it had been done. In his person the ravages of drink were as plainly visible. And yet, upon his high-bridged, rubicund nose was jauntily perched a pair of shining and flawless gold-rimmed glasses.

One of the men was in the final stage of decline. The rain, wind, and sun had completely ruined his clothes. The effects of drinking were also clearly visible on him. Yet, on his prominent, flushed nose sat a pair of shiny, perfect gold-rimmed glasses.

The other man was not so far gone upon the descending Highway of the Incompetents. Truly, the flower of his manhood had gone to seed—seed that, perhaps, no soil might sprout. But there were still cross-cuts along where he travelled through which he might yet regain the pathway of usefulness without disturbing the slumbering Miracles. This man was short and compactly built. He had an oblique, dead eye, like that of a sting-ray, and the moustache of a cocktail mixer. We know the eye and the moustache; we know that Smith of the luxurious yacht, the gorgeous raiment, the mysterious mission, the magic disappearance, has come again, though shorn of the accessories of his former state.

The other man wasn't as far gone down the path of the Incompetents. Honestly, the best part of his manhood had faded—seeds that might not grow in any soil. But there were still side routes he could take to regain a sense of purpose without waking the slumbering Miracles. This man was short and solidly built. He had a slanted, lifeless eye like a stingray and a moustache like a cocktail mixer. We recognize the eye and the moustache; we know that Smith, with his luxurious yacht, fancy clothes, mysterious mission, and magical disappearances, has returned, though stripped of the trappings of his former life.

At his third banana, the man with the nose glasses spat it from him with a shudder.

At his third banana, the guy with the glasses spat it away with a shudder.

“Deuce take all fruit!” he remarked, in a patrician tone of disgust. “I lived for two years where these things grow. The memory of their taste lingers with you. The oranges are not so bad. Just see if you can gather a couple of them, O’Day, when the next broken crate comes up.”

“Damn all fruit!” he said, with a tone of disdain. “I lived for two years where these things grow. The memory of their taste sticks with you. The oranges aren’t too bad. Just see if you can grab a couple of them, O’Day, when the next broken crate comes by.”

“Did you live down with the monkeys?” asked the other, made tepidly garrulous by the sunshine and the alleviating meal of juicy fruit. “I was down there, once myself. But only for a few hours. That was when I was with the Columbia Detective Agency. The monkey people did me up. I’d have my job yet if it hadn’t been for them. I’ll tell you about it.

“Did you hang out with the monkeys?” asked the other, feeling chatty from the sunshine and the satisfying meal of fresh fruit. “I was down there for a little while myself. But only for a few hours. That was when I was with the Columbia Detective Agency. The monkey people got me. I’d still have my job if it weren’t for them. I’ll tell you about it.

“One day the chief sent a note around to the office that read: ‘Send O’Day here at once for a big piece of business.’ I was the crack detective of the agency at that time. They always handed me the big jobs. The address the chief wrote from was down in the Wall Street district.

“One day the chief sent a note around to the office that read: ‘Send O’Day here at once for a big piece of business.’ I was the top detective of the agency at that time. They always assigned me the major cases. The address the chief wrote from was down in the Wall Street area.”

“When I got there I found him in a private office with a lot of directors who were looking pretty fuzzy. They stated the case. The president of the Republic Insurance Company had skipped with about a tenth of a million dollars in cash. The directors wanted him back pretty bad, but they wanted the money worse. They said they needed it. They had traced the old gent’s movements to where he boarded a tramp fruit steamer bound for South America that same morning with his daughter and a big gripsack—all the family he had.

“When I arrived, I found him in a private office surrounded by a bunch of directors who looked pretty confused. They laid out the situation. The president of the Republic Insurance Company had disappeared with around a hundred thousand dollars in cash. The directors were eager to get him back, but they wanted the money even more. They insisted they needed it. They had tracked the old guy’s movements to where he boarded a cargo fruit ship headed for South America that same morning with his daughter and a large suitcase—all the family he had.”

“One of the directors had his steam yacht coaled and with steam up, ready for the trip; and he turned her over to me, cart blongsh. In four hours I was on board of her, and hot on the trail of the fruit tub. I had a pretty good idea where old Wahrfield—that was his name, J. Churchill Wahrfield—would head for. At that time we had a treaty with about every foreign country except Belgium and that banana republic, Anchuria. There wasn’t a photo of old Wahrfield to be had in New York—he had been foxy there—but I had his description. And besides, the lady with him would be a dead-give-away anywhere. She was one of the high-flyers in Society—not the kind that have their pictures in the Sunday papers—but the real sort that open chrysanthemum shows and christen battleships.

“One of the directors had his steam yacht fueled up and ready for the trip; and he handed it over to me, carte blanche. In four hours, I was on board, hot on the trail of the fruit tub. I had a pretty good idea where old Wahrfield—that was his name, J. Churchill Wahrfield—would be heading. At that time, we had a treaty with almost every foreign country except Belgium and that banana republic, Anchuria. There wasn’t a photo of old Wahrfield to be found in New York—he had been clever about that—but I had his description. And besides, the lady with him would be an obvious giveaway anywhere. She was one of the high-flyers in Society—not the kind that have their pictures in the Sunday papers—but the real deal that opens chrysanthemum shows and christens battleships.

“Well, sir, we never got a sight of that fruit tub on the road. The ocean is a pretty big place; and I guess we took different paths across it. But we kept going toward this Anchuria, where the fruiter was bound for.

“Well, sir, we never saw that fruit tub on the road. The ocean is a pretty vast place, and I guess we took different routes across it. But we kept heading toward this Anchuria, where the fruiter was headed.”

“We struck the monkey coast one afternoon about four. There was a ratty-looking steamer off shore taking on bananas. The monkeys were loading her up with big barges. It might be the one the old man had taken, and it might not. I went ashore to look around. The scenery was pretty good. I never saw any finer on the New York stage. I struck an American on shore, a big, cool chap, standing around with the monkeys. He showed me the consul’s office. The consul was a nice young fellow. He said the fruiter was the Karlsefin, running generally to New Orleans, but took her last cargo to New York. Then I was sure my people were on board, although everybody told me that no passengers had landed. I didn’t think they would land until after dark, for they might have been shy about it on account of seeing that yacht of mine hanging around. So, all I had to do was to wait and nab ’em when they came ashore. I couldn’t arrest old Wahrfield without extradition papers, but my play was to get the cash. They generally give up if you strike ’em when they’re tired and rattled and short on nerve.

“We reached the monkey coast one afternoon around four. There was a scruffy-looking steamer offshore loading bananas. The monkeys were piling them onto big barges. It could be the one the old man had taken, or it might not be. I went ashore to explore. The scenery was pretty good. I’d never seen anything better on the New York stage. I ran into an American on the shore, a tall, laid-back guy, hanging out with the monkeys. He showed me the consul’s office. The consul was a nice young guy. He said the fruiter was the Karlsefin, typically heading to New Orleans, but had taken its last load to New York. That made me sure my people were on board, even though everyone told me that no passengers had disembarked. I figured they wouldn’t come ashore until after dark, since they might be hesitant because of my yacht hanging around. So, all I had to do was wait and catch them when they came ashore. I couldn’t arrest old Wahrfield without extradition papers, but my plan was to get the cash. They usually give up if you hit them when they’re exhausted, nervous, and on edge.”

“After dark I sat under a cocoanut tree on the beach for a while, and then I walked around and investigated that town some, and it was enough to give you the lions. If a man could stay in New York and be honest, he’d better do it than to hit that monkey town with a million.

“After dark, I sat under a coconut tree on the beach for a while, and then I walked around and explored the town a bit, and it was enough to give you the creeps. If a man can stay in New York and be honest, he’d be better off doing that than going to that little town with a million."

“Dinky little mud houses; grass over your shoe tops in the streets; ladies in low-neck-and-short-sleeves walking around smoking cigars; tree frogs rattling like a hose cart going to a ten blow; big mountains dropping gravel in the back yards, and the sea licking the paint off in front—no, sir—a man had better be in God’s country living on free lunch than there.

“Tiny little mud houses; grass brushing against your shoes in the streets; ladies in low-cut tops and short sleeves walking around smoking cigars; tree frogs making noise like a cart rattling down the street; big mountains dumping gravel into backyards, and the sea peeling the paint off in front—no, sir—a man would be better off living on free lunch in God’s country than here.”

“The main street ran along the beach, and I walked down it, and then turned up a kind of lane where the houses were made of poles and straw. I wanted to see what the monkeys did when they weren’t climbing cocoanut trees. The very first shack I looked in I saw my people. They must have come ashore while I was promenading. A man about fifty, smooth face, heavy eyebrows, dressed in black broadcloth, looking like he was just about to say, ‘Can any little boy in the Sunday school answer that?’ He was freezing on to a grip that weighed like a dozen gold bricks, and a swell girl—a regular peach, with a Fifth Avenue cut—was sitting on a wooden chair. An old black woman was fixing some coffee and beans on a table. The light they had come from a lantern hung on a nail. I went and stood in the door, and they looked at me, and I said:

“The main street ran along the beach, and I walked down it, then turned onto a lane where the houses were made of poles and straw. I wanted to see what the monkeys did when they weren’t climbing coconut trees. The very first shack I looked into, I saw my people. They must have come ashore while I was walking around. A man about fifty, with a smooth face and heavy eyebrows, dressed in black broadcloth, looked like he was just about to say, ‘Can any little boy in the Sunday school answer that?’ He was gripping a bag that felt like it weighed a dozen gold bricks, and a stylish girl—a real beauty, with a Fifth Avenue cut—was sitting on a wooden chair. An elderly Black woman was preparing some coffee and beans on a table. The light they had came from a lantern hanging on a nail. I went and stood in the doorway, and they looked at me, and I said:

“‘Mr. Wahrfield, you are my prisoner. I hope, for the lady’s sake, you will take the matter sensibly. You know why I want you.’

“‘Mr. Wahrfield, you are under arrest. I hope, for the lady’s sake, that you will handle this maturely. You know why I'm after you.’”

“‘Who are you?’ says the old gent.

“‘Who are you?’ asks the old man.

“‘O’Day,’ says I, ‘of the Columbia Detective Agency. And now, sir, let me give you a piece of good advice. You go back and take your medicine like a man. Hand ’em back the boodle; and maybe they’ll let you off light. Go back easy, and I’ll put in a word for you. I’ll give you five minutes to decide.’ I pulled out my watch and waited.

“‘O’Day,’ I said, ‘from the Columbia Detective Agency. Now, let me offer you some solid advice. Go back and face the consequences like a man. Return the money, and maybe they’ll take it easy on you. Head back smoothly, and I’ll put in a good word for you. You’ve got five minutes to decide.’ I took out my watch and waited.”

“Then the young lady chipped in. She was one of the genuine high-steppers. You could tell by the way her clothes fit and the style she had that Fifth Avenue was made for her.

“Then the young lady joined in. She was one of the true high-flyers. You could tell by the way her clothes fit and the style she had that Fifth Avenue was meant for her.

“‘Come inside,’ she says. ‘Don’t stand in the door and disturb the whole street with that suit of clothes. Now, what is it you want?’

“‘Come in,’ she says. ‘Don’t stand in the doorway and disturb the whole street with those clothes. Now, what do you want?’”

“‘Three minutes gone,’ I said. ‘I’ll tell you again while the other two tick off.

“‘Three minutes gone,’ I said. ‘I’ll tell you again while the other two count down.

“‘You’ll admit being the president of the Republic, won’t you?’

“‘You’ll agree that you’re the president of the Republic, right?’”

“‘I am,’ says he.

"I'm," he says.

“‘Well, then,’ says I, ‘it ought to be plain to you. Wanted, in New York, J. Churchill Wahrfield, president of the Republic Insurance Company.

“‘Well, then,’ I said, ‘it should be obvious to you. Wanted, in New York, J. Churchill Wahrfield, president of the Republic Insurance Company.

“‘Also the funds belonging to said company, now in that grip, in the unlawful possession of said J. Churchill Wahrfield.’

“‘Also, the funds belonging to the company, currently held by J. Churchill Wahrfield without legal right.’”

“‘Oh-h-h-h!’ says the young lady, as if she was thinking, ‘you want to take us back to New York?’

“‘Oh-h-h-h!’ says the young lady, as if she was thinking, ‘You want to take us back to New York?’”

“‘To take Mr. Wahrfield. There’s no charge against you, miss. There’ll be no objection, of course, to your returning with your father.’

“‘To take Mr. Wahrfield. There’s no charge against you, miss. There won’t be any objection, of course, to you going back with your father.’”

“Of a sudden the girl gave a tiny scream and grabbed the old boy around the neck. ‘Oh, father, father!’ she says, kind of contralto, ‘can this be true? Have you taken money that is not yours? Speak, father!’ It made you shiver to hear the tremolo stop she put on her voice.

“Suddenly, the girl let out a small scream and hugged the old man around the neck. ‘Oh, Dad, Dad!’ she said, in a sort of low voice, ‘Is this true? Have you taken money that doesn’t belong to you? Please, talk to me, Dad!’ It sent a chill down your spine to hear the shaky tone she used.

“The old boy looked pretty bughouse when she first grappled him, but she went on, whispering in his ear and patting his off shoulder till he stood still, but sweating a little.

“The old guy looked pretty crazy when she first grabbed him, but she kept on, whispering in his ear and patting his other shoulder until he calmed down, although he was still sweating a bit."

“She got him to one side and they talked together a minute, and then he put on some gold eyeglasses and walked up and handed me the grip.

“She pulled him aside and they chatted for a minute, and then he put on some gold glasses and walked up to me, handing me the bag.

“‘Mr. Detective,’ he says, talking a little broken, ‘I conclude to return with you. I have finished to discover that life on this desolate and displeased coast would be worse than to die, itself. I will go back and hurl myself upon the mercy of the Republic Company. Have you brought a sheep?’

“‘Mr. Detective,’ he says, speaking a bit awkwardly, ‘I’ve decided to come back with you. I’ve figured out that life on this desolate and unhappy coast would be worse than dying itself. I’ll go back and throw myself on the mercy of the Republic Company. Did you bring a sheep?’”

“‘Sheep!’ says I; ‘I haven’t a single—’

“‘Sheep!’ I said; ‘I don’t have a single—’”

“‘Ship,’ cut in the young lady. ‘Don’t get funny. Father is of German birth, and doesn’t speak perfect English. How did you come?’

“‘Ship,’ interrupted the young lady. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. My father was born in Germany and doesn’t speak perfect English. How did you get here?’”

“The girl was all broke up. She had a handkerchief to her face, and kept saying every little bit, ‘Oh, father, father!’ She walked up to me and laid her lily-white hand on the clothes that had pained her at first. I smelt a million violets. She was a lulu. I told her I came in a private yacht.

“The girl was really upset. She had a tissue pressed to her face and kept saying, ‘Oh, dad, dad!’ She came over to me and placed her delicate hand on the clothes that had hurt her before. I smelled a ton of violets. She was stunning. I told her I arrived on a private yacht.”

“‘Mr. O’Day,’ she says. ‘Oh, take us away from this horrid country at once. Can you! Will you! Say you will.’

“‘Mr. O’Day,’ she says. ‘Oh, please take us away from this terrible country right now. Can you! Will you! Just say you will.’”

“‘I’ll try,’ I said, concealing the fact that I was dying to get them on salt water before they could change their mind.

“‘I’ll give it a shot,’ I said, hiding the fact that I was eager to get them in salt water before they could change their minds.

“One thing they both kicked against was going through the town to the boat landing. Said they dreaded publicity, and now that they were going to return, they had a hope that the thing might yet be kept out of the papers. They swore they wouldn’t go unless I got them out to the yacht without any one knowing it, so I agreed to humour them.

“One thing they both resisted was going through the town to the boat landing. They said they dreaded attention, and now that they were going back, they hoped that the situation could still be kept out of the news. They insisted they wouldn’t go unless I took them to the yacht without anyone finding out, so I agreed to go along with them.”

“The sailors who rowed me ashore were playing billiards in a bar-room near the water, waiting for orders, and I proposed to have them take the boat down the beach half a mile or so, and take us up there. How to get them word was the question, for I couldn’t leave the grip with the prisoner, and I couldn’t take it with me, not knowing but what the monkeys might stick me up.

“The sailors who brought me ashore were playing pool in a bar by the water, waiting for orders. I suggested that they take the boat down the beach for about half a mile and pick us up there. The challenge was how to communicate with them, since I couldn't leave the grip with the prisoner, and I couldn't take it with me, not knowing if the monkeys might try to rob me.”

“The young lady says the old coloured woman would take them a note. I sat down and wrote it, and gave it to the dame with plain directions what to do, and she grins like a baboon and shakes her head.

“The young lady says the old African American woman would take them a note. I sat down and wrote it, and gave it to her with clear instructions on what to do, and she grins like a baboon and shakes her head.

“Then Mr. Wahrfield handed her a string of foreign dialect, and she nods her head and says, ‘See, señor,’ maybe fifty times, and lights out with the note.

“Then Mr. Wahrfield handed her a string of foreign dialect, and she nods her head and says, ‘See, sir,’ maybe fifty times, and takes off with the note.”

“‘Old Augusta only understands German,’ said Miss Wahrfield, smiling at me. ‘We stopped in her house to ask where we could find lodging, and she insisted upon our having coffee. She tells us she was raised in a German family in San Domingo.’

“‘Old Augusta only understands German,’ said Miss Wahrfield, smiling at me. ‘We stopped by her house to ask where we could find a place to stay, and she insisted we have coffee. She told us she was raised in a German family in San Domingo.’”

“‘Very likely,’ I said. ‘But you can search me for German words, except nix verstay and noch einst. I would have called that “See, señor” French, though, on a gamble.’

“‘Very likely,’ I said. ‘But you can search me for German words, except nix verstay and noch einst. I would have called that “See, señor” French, though, on a gamble.’”

“Well, we three made a sneak around the edge of town so as not to be seen. We got tangled in vines and ferns and the banana bushes and tropical scenery a good deal. The monkey suburbs was as wild as places in Central Park. We came out on the beach a good half mile below. A brown chap was lying asleep under a cocoanut tree, with a ten-foot musket beside him. Mr. Wahrfield takes up the gun and pitches it into the sea. ‘The coast is guarded,’ he says. ‘Rebellion and plots ripen like fruit.’ He pointed to the sleeping man, who never stirred. ‘Thus,’ he says, ‘they perform trusts. Children!’

“Well, the three of us sneaked around the edge of town to stay out of sight. We got caught up in vines, ferns, banana bushes, and the tropical scenery quite a bit. The monkey neighborhoods were as wild as spots in Central Park. We ended up on the beach a good half mile down. A brown guy was lying asleep under a coconut tree, with a ten-foot musket next to him. Mr. Wahrfield picked up the gun and threw it into the sea. ‘The coast is guarded,’ he said. ‘Rebellion and plots ripen like fruit.’ He pointed to the sleeping man, who didn’t move. ‘This is how they perform their duties. Kids!’”

“I saw our boat coming, and I struck a match and lit a piece of newspaper to show them where we were. In thirty minutes we were on board the yacht.

“I saw our boat approaching, so I lit a match and set a piece of newspaper on fire to signal our location. In thirty minutes, we were on the yacht.”

“The first thing, Mr. Wahrfield and his daughter and I took the grip into the owner’s cabin, opened it up, and took an inventory. There was one hundred and five thousand dollars, United States treasury notes, in it, besides a lot of diamond jewelry and a couple of hundred Havana cigars. I gave the old man the cigars and a receipt for the rest of the lot, as agent for the company, and locked the stuff up in my private quarters.

“The first thing, Mr. Wahrfield, his daughter, and I took the bag into the owner's cabin, opened it up, and counted what was inside. There were one hundred and five thousand dollars in U.S. treasury notes, along with a lot of diamond jewelry and a couple of hundred Havana cigars. I handed the old man the cigars and a receipt for the rest of the items, acting as the company's agent, and locked everything up in my private quarters.”

“I never had a pleasanter trip than that one. After we got to sea the young lady turned out to be the jolliest ever. The very first time we sat down to dinner, and the steward filled her glass with champagne—that director’s yacht was a regular floating Waldorf-Astoria—she winks at me and says, ‘What’s the use to borrow trouble, Mr. Fly Cop? Here’s hoping you may live to eat the hen that scratches on your grave.’ There was a piano on board, and she sat down to it and sung better than you give up two cases to hear plenty times. She knew about nine operas clear through. She was sure enough bon ton and swell. She wasn’t one of the ‘among others present’ kind; she belonged on the special mention list!

“I never had a more enjoyable trip than that one. Once we got out to sea, the young lady turned out to be the most fun. Right from the first dinner, when the steward filled her glass with champagne— that director’s yacht was like a floating Waldorf-Astoria—she winked at me and said, ‘What’s the point in borrowing trouble, Mr. Fly Cop? Here’s hoping you live long enough to eat the hen that scratches on your grave.’ There was a piano on board, and she sat down to play and sang better than you’d believe. She knew about nine operas inside and out. She was definitely classy and elegant. She wasn’t one of those ‘among others present’ types; she deserved a special mention!

“The old man, too, perked up amazingly on the way. He passed the cigars, and says to me once, quite chipper, out of a cloud of smoke, ‘Mr. O’Day, somehow I think the Republic Company will not give me the much trouble. Guard well the gripvalise of the money, Mr. O’Day, for that it must be returned to them that it belongs when we finish to arrive.’

“The old man also seemed to get a boost on the way. He handed out cigars and said to me once, pretty cheerfully, through a cloud of smoke, ‘Mr. O’Day, I honestly don’t think the Republic Company will cause me much trouble. Keep a close eye on the money grip bag, Mr. O’Day, because it needs to go back to the people it belongs to when we finally arrive.’”

“When we landed in New York I ’phoned to the chief to meet us in that director’s office. We got in a cab and went there. I carried the grip, and we walked in, and I was pleased to see that the chief had got together that same old crowd of moneybugs with pink faces and white vests to see us march in. I set the grip on the table. ‘There’s the money,’ I said.

“When we landed in New York, I called the chief to meet us in that director’s office. We hopped in a cab and went there. I carried the bag, and we walked in, and I was happy to see that the chief had gathered that same old crowd of wealthy guys with rosy faces and white vests to watch us come in. I set the bag on the table. ‘There’s the money,’ I said.”

“‘And your prisoner?’ said the chief.

“‘And your prisoner?’ the chief asked.

“I pointed to Mr. Wahrfield, and he stepped forward and says:

“I pointed to Mr. Wahrfield, and he stepped forward and said:

“‘The honour of a word with you, sir, to explain.’

“‘I give you my word, sir, to explain.’”

“He and the chief went into another room and stayed ten minutes. When they came back the chief looked as black as a ton of coal.

“He and the chief went into another room and stayed for ten minutes. When they came back, the chief looked really angry.”

“‘Did this gentleman,’ he says to me, ‘have this valise in his possession when you first saw him?’

“‘Did this man,’ he asks me, ‘have this suitcase with him when you first saw him?’”

“‘He did,’ said I.

"'He did,' I said."

“The chief took up the grip and handed it to the prisoner with a bow, and says to the director crowd: ‘Do any of you recognize this gentleman?’

“The chief picked up the grip and handed it to the prisoner with a bow, and says to the group of directors: ‘Does anyone here recognize this man?’”

“They all shook their pink faces.

They all shook their pink faces.

“‘Allow me to present,’ he goes on, Señor Miraflores, president of the republic of Anchuria. The señor has generously consented to overlook this outrageous blunder, on condition that we undertake to secure him against the annoyance of public comment. It is a concession on his part to overlook an insult for which he might claim international redress. I think we can gratefully promise him secrecy in the matter.’

“‘Let me introduce,’ he continues, Señor Miraflores, president of the republic of Anchuria. The señor has kindly agreed to ignore this shocking mistake, as long as we commit to protecting him from any public criticism. It’s a big favor on his part to overlook an insult he could demand international compensation for. I believe we can assuredly promise him confidentiality regarding this issue.’”

“They gave him a pink nod all round.

“They all nodded at him in agreement.”

“‘O’Day,’ he says to me. ‘As a private detective you’re wasted. In a war, where kidnapping governments is in the rules, you’d be invaluable. Come down to the office at eleven.’

“‘O’Day,’ he says to me. ‘As a private detective, you’re not living up to your potential. In a war where kidnapping governments is part of the game, you’d be incredibly useful. Come by the office at eleven.’”

“I knew what that meant.

“I knew what that meant.”

“‘So that’s the president of the monkeys,’ says I. ‘Well, why couldn’t he have said so?’

“‘So that’s the president of the monkeys,’ I said. ‘Well, why didn’t he just say that?’”

“Wouldn’t it jar you?”

"Wouldn’t it shock you?"

XVIII
THE VITAGRAPHOSCOPE

Vaudeville is intrinsically episodic and discontinuous. Its audiences do not demand dénouements. Sufficient unto each “turn” is the evil thereof. No one cares how many romances the singing comédienne may have had if she can capably sustain the limelight and a high note or two. The audiences reck not if the performing dogs get to the pound the moment they have jumped through their last hoop. They do not desire bulletins about the possible injuries received by the comic bicyclist who retires head-first from the stage in a crash of (property) china-ware. Neither do they consider that their seat coupons entitle them to be instructed whether or no there is a sentiment between the lady solo banjoist and the Irish monologist.

Vaudeville is naturally episodic and disconnected. Its audiences don’t expect resolutions. Each act stands on its own merit. No one cares how many romances the singing comedienne has had as long as she can perform well and hit a couple of high notes. The audience doesn’t mind if the performing dogs end up at the pound as soon as they’ve jumped through their last hoop. They don’t want updates about any injuries the comic bicyclist might have after crashing head-first off the stage with a pile of fake china. Nor do they think their tickets give them the right to know whether there's any romance between the lady solo banjo player and the Irish comedian.

Therefore let us have no lifting of the curtain upon a tableau of the united lovers, backgrounded by defeated villainy and derogated by the comic, osculating maid and butler, thrown in as a sop to the Cerberi of the fifty-cent seats.

Therefore, let's not reveal a scene of the united lovers, set against the backdrop of a defeated villain and lessened by the comedic maid and butler, included just to appease the critics of the cheap seats.

But our programme ends with a brief “turn” or two; and then to the exits. Whoever sits the show out may find, if he will, the slender thread that binds together, though ever so slightly, the story that, perhaps, only the Walrus will understand.

But our program ends with a quick “turn” or two; and then it’s time to exit. Anyone who sticks around might discover, if they want to, the thin thread that ties together, however faintly, the story that, maybe, only the Walrus will get.

Extracts from a letter from the first vice-president of the Republic Insurance Company, of New York City, to Frank Goodwin, of Coralio, Republic of Anchuria.

Extracts from a letter from the first vice-president of the Republic Insurance Company, of New York City, to Frank Goodwin, of Coralio, Republic of Anchuria.

My Dear Mr. Goodwin:—Your communication per Messrs. Howland and Fourchet, of New Orleans, has reached us. Also their draft on N. Y. for $100,000, the amount abstracted from the funds of this company by the late J. Churchill Wahrfield, its former president. … The officers and directors unite in requesting me to express to you their sincere esteem and thanks for your prompt and much appreciated return of the entire missing sum within two weeks from the time of its disappearance. … Can assure you that the matter will not be allowed to receive the least publicity. … Regret exceedingly the distressing death of Mr. Wahrfield by his own hand, but… Congratulations on your marriage to Miss Wahrfield … many charms, winning manners, noble and womanly nature and envied position in the best metropolitan society…

My Dear Mr. Goodwin:—We received your message through Messrs. Howland and Fourchet from New Orleans, along with their check for $100,000, which was taken from the funds of this company by the late J. Churchill Wahrfield, its former president. … The officers and directors have asked me to express their sincere appreciation and gratitude for your prompt return of the entire missing amount within two weeks of its disappearance. … I can assure you that this matter will remain completely confidential. … I deeply regret the tragic death of Mr. Wahrfield by his own hand, but… Congratulations on your marriage to Miss Wahrfield … with her many charms, delightful manners, noble and feminine character, and esteemed position in the best metropolitan society…

Cordially yours,
Lucius E. Applegate,
First Vice-President the Republic Insurance Company.

Cordially yours,
Lucius E. Applegate,
First Vice President, Republic Insurance Company.

The Vitagraphoscope
(Moving Pictures)

The Last Sausage

SCENE—An Artist’s Studio. The artist, a young man of prepossessing appearance, sits in a dejected attitude, amid a litter of sketches, with his head resting upon his hand. An oil stove stands on a pine box in the centre of the studio. The artist rises, tightens his waist belt to another hole, and lights the stove. He goes to a tin bread box, half-hidden by a screen, takes out a solitary link of sausage, turns the box upside-down to show that there is no more, and chucks the sausage into a frying-pan, which he sets upon the stove. The flame of the stove goes out, showing that there is no more oil. The artist, in evident despair, seizes the sausage, in a sudden access of rage, and hurls it violently from him. At the same time a door opens, and a man who enters receives the sausage forcibly against his nose. He seems to cry out; and is observed to make a dance step or two, vigorously. The newcomer is a ruddy-faced, active, keen-looking man, apparently of Irish ancestry. Next he is observed to laugh immoderately; he kicks over the stove; he claps the artist (who is vainly striving to grasp his hand) vehemently upon the back. Then he goes through a pantomime which to the sufficiently intelligent spectator reveals that he has acquired large sums of money by trading pot-metal hatchets and razors to the Indians of the Cordillera Mountains for gold dust. He draws a roll of money as large as a small loaf of bread from his pocket, and waves it above his head, while at the same time he makes pantomime of drinking from a glass. The artist hurriedly secures his hat, and the two leave the studio together.

SCENE—An Artist’s Studio. The artist, a young man with a striking appearance, sits dejectedly among a mess of sketches, resting his head on his hand. An oil stove stands on a pine box in the middle of the studio. The artist gets up, adjusts his waistbelt to a tighter notch, and lights the stove. He walks over to a tin bread box, partially hidden by a screen, takes out a single link of sausage, flips the box upside down to show that it’s empty, and tosses the sausage into a frying pan that he sets on the stove. The flame goes out, revealing there’s no more oil. In clear despair, the artist grabs the sausage in a sudden fit of rage and throws it angrily away from him. Just then, a door opens, and a man entering the studio gets hit squarely in the face with the sausage. He seems to shout out and performs a couple of enthusiastic dance steps. The newcomer is a cheerful, energetic man with a ruddy complexion, looking distinctly Irish. Next, he bursts out laughing, kicks over the stove, and enthusiastically pats the artist on the back while the artist tries unsuccessfully to shake his hand. Then he acts out, indicating that he made a fortune trading pot-metal hatchets and razors to the Indians in the Cordillera Mountains in exchange for gold dust. He pulls out a roll of cash as big as a small loaf of bread from his pocket and waves it triumphantly over his head while pretending to drink from a glass. The artist quickly grabs his hat, and the two leave the studio together.

The Writing on the Sands

SCENE—The Beach at Nice. A woman, beautiful, still young, exquisitely clothed, complacent, poised, reclines near the water, idly scrawling letters in the sand with the staff of her silken parasol. The beauty of her face is audacious; her languid pose is one that you feel to be impermanent—you wait, expectant, for her to spring or glide or crawl, like a panther that has unaccountably become stock-still. She idly scrawls in the sand; and the word that she always writes is “Isabel.” A man sits a few yards away. You can see that they are companions, even if no longer comrades. His face is dark and smooth, and almost inscrutable—but not quite. The two speak little together. The man also scratches on the sand with his cane. And the word that he writes is “Anchuria.” And then he looks out where the Mediterranean and the sky intermingle, with death in his gaze.

SCENE—The Beach at Nice. A woman, beautiful and still young, elegantly dressed and confident, lounges near the water, lazily tracing letters in the sand with the tip of her silky parasol. The beauty of her face is striking; her relaxed position feels temporary—you sense she’s about to leap or glide or crawl, like a panther that has suddenly frozen. She lazily writes in the sand, and the word she always chooses is “Isabel.” A man sits a few feet away. You can tell they are companions, though no longer close. His face is dark and smooth, almost unreadable—but not entirely. They hardly speak to each other. The man also draws in the sand with his cane. The word he writes is “Anchuria.” Then he gazes out where the Mediterranean meets the sky, with a look of despair in his eyes.

The Wilderness and Thou

SCENE—The Borders of a Gentleman’s Estate in a Tropical Land. An old Indian, with a mahogany-coloured face, is trimming the grass on a grave by a mangrove swamp. Presently he rises to his feet and walks slowly toward a grove that is shaded by the gathering, brief twilight. In the edge of the grove stand a man who is stalwart, with a kind and courteous air, and a woman of a serene and clear-cut loveliness. When the old Indian comes up to them the man drops money in his hand. The grave-tender, with the stolid pride of his race, takes it as his due, and goes his way. The two in the edge of the grove turn back along the dim pathway, and walk close, close—for, after all, what is the world at its best but a little round field of the moving pictures with two walking together in it?

SCENE—The Borders of a Gentleman’s Estate in a Tropical Land. An old Indian, with a deep brown face, is trimming the grass on a grave by a mangrove swamp. Soon, he rises and walks slowly toward a grove that's shaded by the fading twilight. At the edge of the grove stand a solid man with a kind and polite demeanor, and a woman of calm and striking beauty. When the old Indian approaches them, the man puts money into his hand. The grave-tender, with the quiet pride of his heritage, accepts it as his right and moves on. The couple at the edge of the grove turn back along the dim path and walk closely together, because really, what is the world at its best but a small circle of moving images with two people walking side by side in it?

CURTAIN


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