This is a modern-English version of The Wind in the Willows, originally written by Grahame, Kenneth.
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.
Scroll to the bottom of this page and you will find a free ePUB download link for this book.


THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS


Copyright, 1908, 1913, by
CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS
Published October, 1913
CONTENTS
CHAPTER | PAGE | |
I. | THE RIVER BANK | 1 |
II. | THE OPEN ROAD | 27 |
III. | THE WILD WOOD | 53 |
IV. | MR. BADGER | 79 |
V. | DULCE DOMUM | 107 |
VI. | MR. TOAD | 139 |
VII. | THE PIPER AT THE GATES OF DAWN | 167 |
VIII. | TOAD'S ADVENTURES | 191 |
IX. | WAYFARERS ALL | 219 |
X. | THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF TOAD | 253 |
XI. | "LIKE SUMMER TEMPESTS CAME HIS TEARS" | 287 |
XII. | THE RETURN OF ULYSSES | 323 |
ILLUSTRATIONS
The Piper at the Gates of Dawn | Frontispiece |
Facing Page | |
It was the Water Rat | 8 |
"Come on!" he said. "We shall just have to walk it" | 50 |
In panic, he began to run | 64 |
Through the Wild Wood and the snow | 94 |
Toad was a helpless prisoner in the remotest dungeon | 164 |
He lay prostrate in his misery on the floor | 196 |
"It's a hard life, by all accounts," murmured the Rat | 240 |
Dwelling chiefly on his own cleverness, and presence of mind in emergencies | 292 |
The Badger said, "Now then, follow me!" | 326 |
THE Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home. First with brooms, then with dusters; then on ladders and steps and chairs, with a brush and a pail of whitewash; till he had dust in his throat and eyes, and splashes of whitewash all over his black fur, and an aching back and weary arms. Spring was moving in the air above and in the earth below and around him, penetrating even his dark and lowly little house with its spirit of divine discontent and longing. It was small wonder, then, that he suddenly flung down his brush on the floor, said, "Bother!" and "O blow!" and also "Hang spring-cleaning!" and bolted out of the house without even waiting to put on his coat. Something up above was calling him imperiously, and he made for the steep little tunnel which answered in his [Pg 4] case to the gravelled carriage-drive owned by animals whose residences are nearer to the sun and air. So he scraped and scratched and scrabbled and scrooged, and then he scrooged again and scrabbled and scratched and scraped, working busily with his little paws and muttering to himself, "Up we go! Up we go!" till at last, pop! his snout came out into the sunlight and he found himself rolling in the warm grass of a great meadow.
The Mole had been working really hard all morning, spring-cleaning his little home. First with brooms, then with dusters; then on ladders, steps, and chairs, with a brush and a bucket of whitewash; until he had dust in his throat and eyes, splashes of whitewash all over his black fur, an aching back, and tired arms. Spring was in the air above and in the ground below and all around him, even filling his dark and humble little house with a feeling of divine restlessness and desire. So it was no surprise that he suddenly tossed his brush on the floor, exclaimed, "Bother!" and "Oh no!" and also "Forget spring-cleaning!" and dashed out of the house without even waiting to put on his coat. Something above was calling him insistently, and he headed for the steep little tunnel that led to the gravel driveway owned by animals who lived closer to the sun and air. So he scraped and scratched and scrambled and squeezed, and then he squeezed again and scrambled and scratched and scraped, working busily with his little paws and muttering to himself, "Up we go! Up we go!" until finally, pop! his snout broke into the sunlight and he found himself rolling in the warm grass of a large meadow.
"This is fine!" he said to himself. "This is better than whitewashing!" The sunshine struck hot on his fur, soft breezes caressed his heated brow, and after the seclusion of the cellarage he had lived in so long the carol of happy birds fell on his dulled hearing almost like a shout. Jumping off all his four legs at once, in the joy of living and the delight of spring without its cleaning, he pursued his way across the meadow till he reached the hedge on the further side.
"This is great!" he said to himself. "This is way better than whitewashing!" The sun beat down on his fur, soft breezes brushed against his heated forehead, and after being cooped up in the cellar for so long, the cheerful songs of the birds sounded almost like a shout to his dulled hearing. Leaping up on all fours in the joy of being alive and the delight of spring without any cleaning, he made his way across the meadow until he reached the hedge on the other side.
"Hold up!" said an elderly rabbit at the gap. "Sixpence for the privilege of passing by the private road!" He was bowled over in an [Pg 5] instant by the impatient and contemptuous Mole, who trotted along the side of the hedge chaffing the other rabbits as they peeped hurriedly from their holes to see what the row was about. "Onion-sauce! Onion-sauce!" he remarked jeeringly, and was gone before they could think of a thoroughly satisfactory reply. Then they all started grumbling at each other. "How stupid you are! Why didn't you tell him—" "Well, why didn't you say—" "You might have reminded him—" and so on, in the usual way; but, of course, it was then much too late, as is always the case.
"Hold up!" said an old rabbit at the gap. "Sixpence to pass on this private road!" He was quickly knocked over by the impatient and scornful Mole, who trotted along the hedge, teasing the other rabbits as they peeked out from their holes to see what the fuss was about. "Onion-sauce! Onion-sauce!" he said mockingly, and was gone before they could come up with a good comeback. Then they all started grumbling at one another. "How dumb you are! Why didn’t you tell him—" "Well, why didn’t you say—" "You could have reminded him—" and so on, as usual; but of course, it was way too late, as it always is.
It all seemed too good to be true. Hither and thither through the meadows he rambled busily, along the hedgerows, across the copses, finding everywhere birds building, flowers budding, leaves thrusting—everything happy, and progressive, and occupied. And instead of having an uneasy conscience pricking him and whispering "whitewash!" he somehow could only feel how jolly it was to be the only idle dog among all these busy citizens. After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much [Pg 6] to be resting yourself, as to see all the other fellows busy working.
It all felt too good to be true. He went here and there through the meadows, wandering around the hedgerows and through the woods, discovering birds building nests, flowers blooming, leaves sprouting—everything was joyful, thriving, and active. Instead of feeling guilty with a nagging conscience whispering "sham!" he could only enjoy being the only lazy one among all these busy people. After all, the best part of a holiday might not be so much about resting yourself, but rather watching everyone else work hard. [Pg 6]
He thought his happiness was complete when, as he meandered aimlessly along, suddenly he stood by the edge of a full-fed river. Never in his life had he seen a river before—this sleek, sinuous, full-bodied animal, chasing and chuckling, gripping things with a gurgle and leaving them with a laugh, to fling itself on fresh playmates that shook themselves free, and were caught and held again. All was a-shake and a-shiver—glints and gleams and sparkles, rustle and swirl, chatter and bubble. The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spellbound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
He thought his happiness was complete when, as he wandered aimlessly, he suddenly found himself by the edge of a wide, flowing river. He had never seen a river before—this smooth, twisting, full-bodied entity, racing and laughing, grabbing things with a gurgle and leaving them behind with a chuckle, only to leap onto new playmates that shook free, caught again and again. Everything was in motion—shimmering and sparkling, rustling and swirling, chattering and bubbling. The Mole was enchanted, captivated, spellbound. He trotted alongside the river like a small child walking beside an adult who mesmerizes him with thrilling tales; and when he finally grew tired, he sat on the riverbank while the water continued to tell him stories, a babbling stream of the most amazing tales in the world, sent from deep within the earth to be finally shared with the endless sea.
As he sat on the grass and looked across the river, a dark hole in the bank opposite, just [Pg 7] above the water's edge, caught his eye, and dreamily he fell to considering what a nice, snug dwelling-place it would make for an animal with few wants and fond of a bijou riverside residence, above flood level and remote from noise and dust. As he gazed, something bright and small seemed to twinkle down in the heart of it, vanished, then twinkled once more like a tiny star. But it could hardly be a star in such an unlikely situation; and it was too glittering and small for a glow-worm. Then, as he looked, it winked at him, and so declared itself to be an eye; and a small face began gradually to grow up round it, like a frame round a picture.
As he sat on the grass and looked across the river, a dark hole in the opposite bank, just above the water's edge, caught his attention, and he dreamily began to think about what a cozy home it would be for an animal with few needs, one that liked a charming riverside spot, safe from floods and away from noise and dust. As he stared, something bright and small seemed to flicker in the middle of it, disappeared, then flickered again like a tiny star. But it couldn’t be a star in such an odd place; it was too shiny and small to be a glow-worm. Then, as he continued to look, it blinked at him, revealing itself to be an eye; and a small face slowly began to appear around it, like a frame around a picture.
A brown little face, with whiskers.
A small brown face, with whiskers.
A grave round face, with the same twinkle in its eye that had first attracted his notice.
A serious round face, with the same sparkle in its eye that had first caught his attention.
Small neat ears and thick silky hair.
Small, neat ears and thick, silky hair.
It was the Water Rat!
It was the Water Rat!
Then the two animals stood and regarded each other cautiously.
Then the two animals stood and looked at each other cautiously.
"Hullo, Mole!" said the Water Rat.
"Hellо, Mole!" said the Water Rat.
"Hullo, Rat!" said the Mole. [Pg 8]
"Hello, Rat!" said the Mole.
"Would you like to come over?" enquired the Rat presently.
"Do you want to come over?" the Rat asked after a moment.
"Oh, it's all very well to talk," said the Mole rather pettishly, he being new to a river and riverside life and its ways.
"Oh, it's easy to talk," said the Mole a bit irritably, since he was new to river life and all its quirks.
The Rat said nothing, but stooped and unfastened a rope and hauled on it; then lightly stepped into a little boat which the Mole had not observed. It was painted blue outside and white within, and was just the size for two animals; and the Mole's whole heart went out to it at once, even though he did not yet fully understand its uses.
The Rat didn't say a word, but bent down and untied a rope, then gracefully climbed into a small boat that the Mole hadn't noticed. It was blue on the outside and white on the inside, perfectly sized for two animals; the Mole immediately loved it, even though he didn't quite grasp how it would be used yet.
The Rat sculled smartly across and made fast. Then he held up his fore-paw as the Mole stepped gingerly down. "Lean on that!" he said. "Now then, step lively!" and the Mole to his surprise and rapture found himself actually seated in the stern of a real boat.
The Rat skillfully rowed across and secured the boat. Then he raised his front paw as the Mole carefully stepped down. "Lean on that!" he said. "Now, step lively!" To the Mole's surprise and delight, he found himself actually sitting in the back of a real boat.
"This has been a wonderful day!" said he, as the Rat shoved off and took to the sculls again. "Do you know, I've never been in a boat before in all my life."
"This has been an amazing day!" he said, as the Rat pushed off and started rowing again. "Can you believe I've never been in a boat before in my whole life?"

"What?" cried the Rat, open-mouthed: [Pg 9] "Never been in a—you never—well I—what have you been doing, then?"
"What?" shouted the Rat, astonished: [Pg 9] "Never been in a—you never—well I—what have you been up to, then?"
"Is it so nice as all that?" asked the Mole shyly, though he was quite prepared to believe it as he leant back in his seat and surveyed the cushions, the oars, the rowlocks, and all the fascinating fittings, and felt the boat sway lightly under him.
"Is it really that great?" the Mole asked shyly, even though he was ready to believe it as he leaned back in his seat and looked over the cushions, the oars, the rowlocks, and all the interesting details, feeling the boat gently sway beneath him.
"Nice? It's the only thing," said the Water Rat solemnly as he leant forward for his stroke. "Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing—absolute nothing—half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats. Simply messing," he went on dreamily: "messing—about—in—boats; messing—"
"Nice? It's the only thing," said the Water Rat seriously as he leaned forward for his turn. "Trust me, my young friend, there is nothing—absolutely nothing—quite as rewarding as just messing around in boats. Just messing," he continued, lost in thought: "messing—around—in—boats; messing—"
"Look ahead, Rat!" cried the Mole suddenly.
"Watch out, Rat!" shouted the Mole suddenly.
It was too late. The boat struck the bank full tilt. The dreamer, the joyous oarsman, lay on his back at the bottom of the boat, his heels in the air.
It was too late. The boat slammed into the bank full force. The dreamer, the cheerful oarsman, lay on his back at the bottom of the boat, his heels in the air.
"—about in boats—or with boats," the Rat went on composedly, picking himself up with a pleasant laugh. "In or out of 'em, it doesn't [Pg 10] matter. Nothing seems really to matter, that's the charm of it. Whether you get away, or whether you don't; whether you arrive at your destination or whether you reach somewhere else, or whether you never get anywhere at all, you're always busy, and you never do anything in particular; and when you've done it there's always something else to do, and you can do it if you like, but you'd much better not. Look here! If you've really nothing else on hand this morning, supposing we drop down the river together, and have a long day of it?"
"—about in boats—or with boats," the Rat continued calmly, getting up with a cheerful laugh. "Whether you're in them or not, it doesn't matter. Nothing really seems to matter, and that's part of the appeal. It doesn't matter if you get away or not; if you reach your destination or end up somewhere else, or if you never go anywhere at all, you're always busy and never doing anything specific; and when you've finished one thing, there's always something else to tackle, and you can do it if you want, but honestly, it's probably better if you don't. Hey! If you don't have anything else planned for this morning, how about we float down the river together and enjoy a long day of it?"
The Mole waggled his toes from sheer happiness, spread his chest with a sigh of full contentment, and leant back blissfully into the soft cushions. "What a day I'm having!" he said. "Let us start at once!"
The Mole wiggled his toes with pure joy, sighed deeply with satisfaction, and leaned back happily into the soft cushions. "What a day I'm having!" he said. "Let's get started right away!"
"Hold hard a minute, then!" said the Rat. He looped the painter through a ring in his landing-stage, climbed up into his hole above, and after a short interval reappeared staggering under a fat wicker luncheon-basket.
"Wait a minute, then!" said the Rat. He tied the painter to a ring on his dock, climbed up into his burrow above, and after a brief moment came back out, struggling under a heavy wicker picnic basket.
"Shove that under your feet," he observed to the Mole, as he passed it down into the boat. [Pg 11] Then he untied the painter and took the sculls again.
"Put that under your feet," he said to the Mole as he passed it into the boat. [Pg 11] Then he untied the rope and took the oars again.
"What's inside it?" asked the Mole, wriggling with curiosity.
"What's in it?" asked the Mole, squirming with curiosity.
"There's cold chicken inside it," replied the Rat briefly:
"coldtonguecoldhamcoldbeefpickledgherkinssaladfrenchrolls–
cresssandwichespottedmeatgingerbeerlemonadesodawater—"
"There's cold chicken in there," the Rat replied shortly:
"coldtonguecoldhamcoldbeefpickledgherkinssaladfrenchrolls–
cresssandwichespottedmeatgingerbeerlemonadesodawater—"
"O stop, stop!" cried the Mole in ecstasies. "This is too much!"
"O stop, stop!" exclaimed the Mole in delight. "This is overwhelming!"
"Do you really think so?" enquired the Rat seriously. "It's only what I always take on these little excursions; and the other animals are always telling me that I'm a mean beast and cut it very fine!"
"Do you really think so?" asked the Rat seriously. "It's just what I always bring on these little trips; and the other animals keep telling me that I'm a selfish creature and that I take it really close!"
The Mole never heard a word he was saying. Absorbed in the new life he was entering upon, intoxicated with the sparkle, the ripple, the scents and the sounds and the sunlight, he trailed a paw in the water and dreamed long waking dreams. The Water Rat, like the good little fellow he was, sculled steadily on and forbore to disturb him.
The Mole didn't hear a word he was saying. Caught up in the new life he was stepping into, intoxicated by the sparkle, the ripple, the scents, the sounds, and the sunlight, he trailed a paw in the water and dreamt long waking dreams. The Water Rat, being the good friend he was, rowed steadily on and didn't disturb him.
"I like your clothes awfully, old chap," he [Pg 12] remarked after some half an hour or so had passed. "I'm going to get a black velvet smoking-suit myself some day, as soon as I can afford it."
"I really like your clothes, man," he [Pg 12] remarked after about half an hour had passed. "I'm planning to get a black velvet smoking jacket for myself one day, as soon as I can afford it."
"I beg your pardon," said the Mole, pulling himself together with an effort. "You must think me very rude; but all this is so new to me. So—this—is—a—River!"
"I’m sorry," said the Mole, gathering himself with some effort. "You must think I'm really rude, but all of this is so new to me. So—this—is—a—River!"
"The River," corrected the Rat.
"The River," corrected the Rat.
"And you really live by the river? What a jolly life!"
"And you actually live by the river? What a fun life!"
"By it and with it and on it and in it," said the Rat. "It's brother and sister to me, and aunts, and company, and food and drink, and (naturally) washing. It's my world, and I don't want any other. What it hasn't got is not worth having, and what it doesn't know is not worth knowing. Lord! the times we've had together! Whether in winter or summer, spring or autumn, it's always got its fun and its excitements. When the floods are on in February, and my cellars and basement are brimming with drink that's no good to me, and the brown water runs by my best bedroom window; or [Pg 13] again when it all drops away and shows patches of mud that smells like plum-cake, and the rushes and weed clog the channels, and I can potter about dry shod over most of the bed of it and find fresh food to eat, and things careless people have dropped out of boats!"
"By it, with it, on it, and in it," said the Rat. "It's like family to me—brothers, sisters, aunts, friends, food, and drink, and (of course) washing. It's my world, and I don’t want anything else. What it doesn’t have isn’t worth having, and what it doesn’t know isn’t worth knowing. Wow! the times we've had together! Whether in winter or summer, spring or autumn, there's always fun and excitement. When the floods come in February, and my cellars and basement are filled with drinks I can’t use, and the brown water flows past my best bedroom window; or again when the water recedes and reveals patches of mud that smell like plum cake, and the reeds and weeds block the channels, and I can wander around on dry ground over most of it and find fresh food to eat, and things careless people have dropped from their boats!"
"But isn't it a bit dull at times?" the Mole ventured to ask. "Just you and the river, and no one else to pass a word with?"
"But isn't it a little boring sometimes?" the Mole dared to ask. "Just you and the river, with no one else to chat with?"
"No one else to—well, I mustn't be hard on you," said the Rat with forbearance. "You're new to it, and of course you don't know. The bank is so crowded nowadays that many people are moving away altogether. O no, it isn't what it used to be, at all. Otters, king-fishers, dabchicks, moorhens, all of them about all day long and always wanting you to do something—as if a fellow had no business of his own to attend to!"
"No one else to—well, I shouldn't be too hard on you," said the Rat patiently. "You're new to this, and of course you don't know. The bank is so crowded these days that a lot of people are moving away completely. Oh no, it’s not like it used to be at all. Otters, kingfishers, dabchicks, moorhens, they’re all around all day long and always expecting you to do something—as if a guy didn’t have his own business to take care of!"
"What lies over there?" asked the Mole, waving a paw towards a background of woodland that darkly framed the water-meadows on one side of the river.
"What’s over there?" asked the Mole, waving a paw towards a backdrop of woods that cast a dark outline around the water meadows on one side of the river.
"That? O, that's just the Wild Wood," said [Pg 14] the Rat shortly. "We don't go there very much, we river-bankers."
"That? Oh, that's just the Wild Wood," the Rat replied quickly. "We riverbank folks don’t go there very often."
"Aren't they—aren't they very nice people in there?" said the Mole a trifle nervously.
"Aren't they—aren't they really nice people in there?" said the Mole a bit nervously.
"W-e-ll," replied the Rat, "let me see. The squirrels are all right. And the rabbits—some of 'em, but rabbits are a mixed lot. And then there's Badger, of course. He lives right in the heart of it; wouldn't live anywhere else, either, if you paid him to do it. Dear old Badger! Nobody interferes with him. They'd better not," he added significantly.
"Well," replied the Rat, "let me think. The squirrels are fine. And the rabbits—some of them are okay, but rabbits can be a mixed bag. Then there's Badger, of course. He lives right in the middle of it; he wouldn't want to live anywhere else, even if you paid him. Dear old Badger! Nobody messes with him. They'd better not," he added with emphasis.
"Why, who should interfere with him?" asked the Mole.
"Why, who should bother him?" asked the Mole.
"Well, of course—there—are others," explained the Rat in a hesitating sort of way. "Weasels—and stoats—and foxes—and so on. They're all right in a way—I'm very good friends with them—pass the time of day when we meet, and all that—but they break out sometimes, there's no denying it, and then—well, you can't really trust them, and that's the fact."
"Well, of course—there are others," the Rat explained hesitantly. "Weasels, stoats, foxes, and so on. They're fine in a way—I'm good friends with them—we chat when we meet, and all that—but they can go wild sometimes, there's no denying that, and then—you can't really trust them, and that's the truth."
The Mole knew well that it is quite against animal-etiquette to dwell on possible trouble [Pg 15] ahead, or even to allude to it; so he dropped the subject.
The Mole knew very well that it's totally against animal etiquette to focus on potential problems ahead, or even to hint at them; so he changed the subject.
"And beyond the Wild Wood again?" he asked; "where it's all blue and dim, and one sees what may be hills or perhaps they mayn't, and something like the smoke of towns, or is it only cloud-drift?"
"And beyond the Wild Wood again?" he asked; "where it's all blue and hazy, and you can see what might be hills or maybe not, and something that looks like the smoke from towns, or is it just cloud drift?"
"Beyond the Wild Wood comes the Wide World," said the Rat. "And that's something that doesn't matter, either to you or me. I've never been there, and I'm never going, nor you either, if you've got any sense at all. Don't ever refer to it again, please. Now then! Here's our backwater at last, where we're going to lunch."
"Beyond the Wild Wood is the Wide World," said the Rat. "And honestly, it doesn’t matter to either of us. I’ve never been there, and I’m not going, and you shouldn’t either if you have any sense. Let’s not talk about it again, okay? Now, here’s our backwater at last, where we’re going to have lunch."
Leaving the main stream, they now passed into what seemed at first sight like a little landlocked lake. Green turf sloped down to either edge, brown snaky tree-roots gleamed below the surface of the quiet water, while ahead of them the silvery shoulder and foamy tumble of a weir, arm-in-arm with a restless dripping mill-wheel, that held up in its turn a grey-gabled [Pg 16] mill-house, filled the air with a soothing murmur of sound, dull and smothery, yet with little clear voices speaking up cheerfully out of it at intervals. It was so very beautiful that the Mole could only hold up both fore-paws and gasp: "O my! O my! O my!"
Leaving the main stream, they now entered what at first glance looked like a small, secluded lake. Green grass sloped down to each edge, while brown, winding tree roots shimmered beneath the surface of the calm water. Ahead of them, the silvery curve and foamy cascade of a weir, along with a constantly dripping mill wheel, supported a grey-gabled mill house that filled the air with a soothing murmur—soft and muffled, yet with cheerful little voices occasionally rising above it. It was so incredibly beautiful that the Mole could only lift both front paws and gasp, "Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!"
The Rat brought the boat alongside the bank, made her fast, helped the still awkward Mole safely ashore, and swung out the luncheon-basket. The Mole begged as a favour to be allowed to unpack it all by himself; and the Rat was very pleased to indulge him, and to sprawl at full length on the grass and rest, while his excited friend shook out the table-cloth and spread it, took out all the mysterious packets one by one and arranged their contents in due order, still gasping: "O my! O my!" at each fresh revelation. When all was ready, the Rat said, "Now, pitch in, old fellow!" and the Mole was indeed very glad to obey, for he had started his spring-cleaning at a very early hour that morning, as people will do, and had not paused for bite or sup; and he had been through a very great deal since that distant time which now seemed so many days ago. [Pg 17]
The Rat parked the boat by the riverbank, tied it up, helped the still clumsy Mole get safely ashore, and pulled out the picnic basket. The Mole requested, as a favor, to unpack it all by himself; the Rat was happy to let him, sprawled out on the grass to relax while his excited friend shook out the tablecloth, spread it out, took out all the mysterious packages one by one, and arranged everything in order, still gasping, "Oh my! Oh my!" with each new surprise. When everything was ready, the Rat said, "Alright, dig in, buddy!" and the Mole was more than happy to oblige, having started his spring cleaning early that morning, as people tend to do, and not having eaten anything since; he felt like so much time had passed since that distant moment that now felt like ages ago. [Pg 17]
"What are you looking at?" said the Rat presently, when the edge of their hunger was somewhat dulled, and the Mole's eyes were able to wander off the table-cloth a little.
"What are you looking at?" the Rat asked after a while, as their hunger had lessened a bit, and the Mole's eyes could wander away from the tablecloth for a moment.
"I am looking," said the Mole, "at a streak of bubbles that I see travelling along the surface of the water. That is a thing that strikes me as funny."
"I am looking," said the Mole, "at a line of bubbles that I see moving across the surface of the water. That seems funny to me."
"Bubbles? Oho!" said the Rat, and chirruped cheerily in an inviting sort of way.
"Bubbles? Oh wow!" said the Rat, and chirped happily in a friendly manner.
A broad glistening muzzle showed itself above the edge of the bank, and the Otter hauled himself out and shook the water from his coat.
A wide, shiny snout appeared over the edge of the bank, and the Otter pulled himself up and shook the water off his fur.
"Greedy beggars!" he observed, making for the provender. "Why didn't you invite me, Ratty?"
"Greedy beggars!" he said, heading for the food. "Why didn't you invite me, Ratty?"
"This was an impromptu affair," explained the Rat. "By the way—my friend Mr. Mole."
"This was a spontaneous event," said the Rat. "By the way—this is my friend Mr. Mole."
"Proud, I'm sure," said the Otter, and the two animals were friends forthwith.
"Proud, I'm sure," said the Otter, and the two animals became friends right away.
"Such a rumpus everywhere!" continued the Otter. "All the world seems out on the river to-day. I came up this backwater to try and get a moment's peace, and then stumble upon [Pg 18] you fellows!—At least—I beg pardon—I don't exactly mean that, you know."
"Such a commotion everywhere!" the Otter continued. "Everyone seems to be out on the river today. I came up this backwater to try to find a moment of peace, and then I run into you guys!—At least—I apologize—I don't really mean that, you know."
There was a rustle behind them, proceeding from a hedge wherein last year's leaves still clung thick, and a stripy head, with high shoulders behind it, peered forth on them.
There was a rustle behind them, coming from a hedge where last year's leaves still clung tightly, and a striped head, with high shoulders behind it, peeked out at them.
"Come on, old Badger!" shouted the Rat.
"Come on, old Badger!" yelled the Rat.
The Badger trotted forward a pace or two, then grunted, "H'm! Company," and turned his back and disappeared from view.
The Badger walked forward a step or two, then grunted, "H'm! Company," and turned away, disappearing from sight.
"That's just the sort of fellow he is!" observed the disappointed Rat. "Simply hates Society! Now we shan't see any more of him to-day. Well, tell us, who's out on the river?"
"That's just the kind of guy he is!" said the disappointed Rat. "He totally hates society! Now we won't see him anymore today. Well, come on, who's out on the river?"
"Toad's out, for one," replied the Otter. "In his brand-new wager-boat; new togs, new everything!"
"Toad's out, for sure," replied the Otter. "In his brand-new betting boat; new clothes, new everything!"
The two animals looked at each other and laughed.
The two animals stared at each other and chuckled.
"Once, it was nothing but sailing," said the Rat. "Then he tired of that and took to punting. Nothing would please him but to punt all day and every day, and a nice mess he made of it. Last year it was house-boating, and we all [Pg 19] had to go and stay with him in his house-boat, and pretend we liked it. He was going to spend the rest of his life in a house-boat. It's all the same, whatever he takes up; he gets tired of it, and starts on something fresh."
"At first, he was all about sailing," said the Rat. "Then he got bored with that and switched to punting. He insisted on punting every day, all day long, and he made quite a mess of it. Last year, he got into house-boating, and we all had to go stay with him on his house-boat and pretend we enjoyed it. He planned to spend the rest of his life on a house-boat. It’s the same story no matter what he tries; he gets bored and moves on to something new."
"Such a good fellow, too," remarked the Otter reflectively; "but no stability—especially in a boat!"
"He's such a nice guy," the Otter said thoughtfully, "but he's not reliable—especially in a boat!"
From where they sat they could get a glimpse of the main stream across the island that separated them; and just then a wager-boat flashed into view, the rower—a short, stout figure—splashing badly and rolling a good deal, but working his hardest. The Rat stood up and hailed him, but Toad—for it was he—shook his head and settled sternly to his work.
From where they sat, they could see the main river across the island that divided them; and just then, a small boat quickly appeared, the rower—a short, stocky guy—splashing water and swaying a lot, but giving it his all. The Rat stood up and called out to him, but Toad—for it was him—shook his head and focused determinedly on his task.
"He'll be out of the boat in a minute if he rolls like that," said the Rat, sitting down again.
"He'll be out of the boat in a minute if he keeps rolling like that," said the Rat, sitting down again.
"Of course he will," chuckled the Otter. "Did I ever tell you that good story about Toad and the lock-keeper? It happened this way. Toad...."
"Of course he will," laughed the Otter. "Did I ever tell you that great story about Toad and the lock-keeper? It went like this. Toad...."
An errant May-fly swerved unsteadily athwart the current in the intoxicated fashion [Pg 20] affected by young bloods of May-flies seeing life. A swirl of water and a "cloop!" and the May-fly was visible no more.
A wayward May-fly zigzagged awkwardly across the current in a dizzy, excited manner, influenced by the youthful May-flies experiencing life. With a splash and a "cloop!", the May-fly vanished from sight.
Neither was the Otter.
Neither was the otter.
The Mole looked down. The voice was still in his ears, but the turf whereon he had sprawled was clearly vacant. Not an Otter to be seen, as far as the distant horizon.
The Mole looked down. The voice was still ringing in his ears, but the ground where he had been lying was clearly empty. Not a single Otter in sight, as far as the far-off horizon.
But again there was a streak of bubbles on the surface of the river.
But once more, there was a line of bubbles on the surface of the river.
The Rat hummed a tune, and the Mole recollected that animal-etiquette forbade any sort of comment on the sudden disappearance of one's friends at any moment, for any reason or no reason whatever.
The Rat hummed a tune, and the Mole remembered that animal etiquette prohibited any kind of comment on the sudden disappearance of friends at any time, for any reason or no reason at all.
"Well, well," said the Rat, "I suppose we ought to be moving. I wonder which of us had better pack the luncheon-basket?" He did not speak as if he was frightfully eager for the treat.
"Well, well," said the Rat, "I guess we should be on our way. I wonder who should pack the lunch basket?" He didn’t sound too excited about the meal.
"O, please let me," said the Mole. So, of course, the Rat let him.
"O, please let me," said the Mole. So, of course, the Rat let him.
Packing the basket was not quite such pleasant work as unpacking the basket. It never [Pg 21] is. But the Mole was bent on enjoying everything, and although just when he had got the basket packed and strapped up tightly he saw a plate staring up at him from the grass, and when the job had been done again the Rat pointed out a fork which anybody ought to have seen, and last of all, behold! the mustard pot, which he had been sitting on without knowing it—still, somehow, the thing got finished at last, without much loss of temper.
Packing the basket wasn't nearly as enjoyable as unpacking it. It never is. But the Mole was determined to enjoy every moment, and even though just as he finished tightly packing and strapping the basket, he spotted a plate staring up at him from the grass, and when he had done it all over again, the Rat pointed out a fork that anyone should have noticed. And lastly, there was the mustard pot, which he had been sitting on without realizing it—still, somehow, they managed to finish the task without too much frustration in the end.
The afternoon sun was getting low as the Rat sculled gently homewards in a dreamy mood, murmuring poetry-things over to himself, and not paying much attention to Mole. But the Mole was very full of lunch, and self-satisfaction, and pride, and already quite at home in a boat (so he thought), and was getting a bit restless besides: and presently he said, "Ratty! Please, I want to row, now!"
The afternoon sun was setting as the Rat gently paddled homeward, lost in a dreamy mood, murmuring poetic thoughts to himself, barely paying any attention to Mole. But Mole was feeling pretty full from lunch, full of himself, and quite proud, thinking he was already quite at home in a boat, and was starting to feel a bit restless too. So, he finally said, "Ratty! Please, I want to row now!"
The Rat shook his head with a smile. "Not yet, my young friend," he said; "wait till you've had a few lessons. It's not so easy as it looks."
The Rat shook his head with a smile. "Not yet, my young friend," he said; "wait until you've had a few lessons. It's not as easy as it seems."
The Mole was quiet for a minute or two. [Pg 22] But he began to feel more and more jealous of Rat, sculling so strongly and so easily along, and his pride began to whisper that he could do it every bit as well. He jumped up and seized the sculls so suddenly that the Rat, who was gazing out over the water and saying more poetry-things to himself, was taken by surprise and fell backwards off his seat with his legs in the air for the second time, while the triumphant Mole took his place and grabbed the sculls with entire confidence.
The Mole was quiet for a minute or two. [Pg 22] But he started to feel more and more jealous of Rat, who was rowing so effortlessly and strongly, and his pride began to suggest that he could do it just as well. He jumped up and grabbed the oars so suddenly that Rat, who was gazing out over the water and lost in poetic thoughts, was caught off guard and fell back off his seat with his legs in the air for the second time, while the triumphant Mole took his spot and confidently seized the oars.
"Stop it, you silly ass!" cried the Rat, from the bottom of the boat. "You can't do it! You'll have us over!"
"Knock it off, you silly fool!" shouted the Rat from the bottom of the boat. "You can't pull that off! You're going to tip us over!"
The Mole flung his sculls back with a flourish, and made a great dig at the water. He missed the surface altogether, his legs flew up above his head, and he found himself lying on the top of the prostrate Rat. Greatly alarmed, he made a grab at the side of the boat, and the next moment—Sploosh!
The Mole threw his oars back dramatically and tried to paddle through the water. He completely missed the surface, his legs shot up over his head, and he ended up on top of the flat Rat. Feeling very startled, he reached for the side of the boat, and the next moment—Sploosh!
Over went the boat, and he found himself struggling in the river.
Over went the boat, and he found himself struggling in the river.
O my, how cold the water was, and O, how [Pg 23] very wet it felt! How it sang in his ears as he went down, down, down! How bright and welcome the sun looked as he rose to the surface coughing and spluttering! How black was his despair when he felt himself sinking again! Then a firm paw gripped him by the back of his neck. It was the Rat, and he was evidently laughing—the Mole could feel him laughing, right down his arm and through his paw, and so into his—the Mole's—neck.
Oh my, how cold the water was, and oh, how [Pg 23] very wet it felt! It sang in his ears as he went down, down, down! How bright and welcoming the sun looked as he rose to the surface, coughing and spluttering! How black was his despair when he felt himself sinking again! Then a strong paw gripped him by the back of his neck. It was the Rat, and he was obviously laughing—the Mole could feel him laughing, right down his arm and through his paw, and so into his—the Mole's—neck.
The Rat got hold of a scull and shoved it under the Mole's arm; then he did the same by the other side of him and, swimming behind, propelled the helpless animal to shore, hauled him out, and set him down on the bank, a squashy, pulpy lump of misery.
The Rat grabbed a paddle and shoved it under the Mole's arm; then he did the same on the other side and, swimming behind him, pushed the helpless animal to shore, pulled him out, and set him down on the bank, a soggy, miserable mess.
When the Rat had rubbed him down a bit, and wrung some of the wet out of him, he said, "Now then, old fellow! Trot up and down the towing-path as hard as you can, till you're warm and dry again, while I dive for the luncheon-basket."
When the Rat had dried him off a bit and wrung out some of the water, he said, "Alright, buddy! Run up and down the towing-path as fast as you can until you're warm and dry again, while I go look for the lunch basket."
So the dismal Mole, wet without and ashamed within, trotted about till he was fairly dry, while [Pg 24] the Rat plunged into the water again, recovered the boat, righted her and made her fast, fetched his floating property to shore by degrees, and finally dived successfully for the luncheon-basket and struggled to land with it.
So the gloomy Mole, soaked on the outside and embarrassed on the inside, walked around until he was mostly dry, while the Rat jumped back into the water, retrieved the boat, set it upright, secured it, gradually brought his floating belongings to shore, and finally dove down successfully for the lunch basket and fought to bring it back to land.
When all was ready for a start once more, the Mole, limp and dejected, took his seat in the stern of the boat; and as they set off, he said in a low voice, broken with emotion, "Ratty, my generous friend! I am very sorry indeed for my foolish and ungrateful conduct. My heart quite fails me when I think how I might have lost that beautiful luncheon-basket. Indeed, I have been a complete ass, and I know it. Will you overlook it this once and forgive me, and let things go on as before?"
When everything was ready to go again, the Mole, feeling weak and down, took his place in the back of the boat. As they set off, he said in a quiet voice, choked with emotion, "Ratty, my kind friend! I'm really sorry for my stupid and ungrateful behavior. I panic when I think about how I could have lost that lovely lunch basket. Honestly, I’ve been a total fool, and I know it. Can you please forgive me this once and let’s get back to how things were?"
"That's all right, bless you!" responded the Rat cheerily. "What's a little wet to a Water Rat? I'm more in the water than out of it most days. Don't you think any more about it; and look here! I really think you had better come and stop with me for a little time. It's very plain and rough, you know—not like Toad's house at all—but you haven't seen [Pg 25] that yet; still, I can make you comfortable. And I'll teach you to row and to swim, and you'll soon be as handy on the water as any of us."
"That's okay, bless you!" replied the Rat happily. "What's a little wet to a Water Rat? I'm in the water more than I'm out of it most days. Don't worry about it; and hey! I really think you should come and stay with me for a little while. It's pretty simple and rough, you know—not like Toad's place at all—but you haven't seen that yet; still, I can make you comfortable. And I'll teach you how to row and swim, and soon you'll be just as capable on the water as any of us."
The Mole was so touched by his kind manner of speaking that he could find no voice to answer him; and he had to brush away a tear or two with the back of his paw. But the Rat kindly looked in another direction, and presently the Mole's spirits revived again, and he was even able to give some straight back-talk to a couple of moorhens who were sniggering to each other about his bedraggled appearance.
The Mole was so moved by the way he spoke that he couldn't find the words to reply and had to wipe away a tear or two with the back of his paw. But the Rat kindly looked away, and soon the Mole felt better again and was even able to respond to a couple of moorhens who were whispering to each other about how messy he looked.
When they got home, the Rat made a bright fire in the parlour, and planted the Mole in an arm-chair in front of it, having fetched down a dressing-gown and slippers for him, and told him river stories till supper-time. Very thrilling stories they were, too, to an earth-dwelling animal like Mole. Stories about weirs, and sudden floods, and leaping pike, and steamers that flung hard bottles—at least bottles were [Pg 26] certainly flung, and from steamers, so presumably by them; and about herons, and how particular they were whom they spoke to; and about adventures down drains, and night-fishings with Otter, or excursions far a-field with Badger. Supper was a most cheerful meal; but very shortly afterwards a terribly sleepy Mole had to be escorted upstairs by his considerate host, to the best bedroom, where he soon laid his head on his pillow in great peace and contentment, knowing that his new-found friend, the River, was lapping the sill of his window.
When they got home, the Rat started a cozy fire in the living room and settled the Mole in an armchair in front of it, bringing him a robe and slippers and telling him river stories until it was time for dinner. They were very exciting tales for a creature like Mole, who lived underground. Stories about dams, sudden floods, jumping pike, and steamboats that tossed hard bottles—at least bottles were definitely tossed, and from steamboats, so presumably by them; and about herons and how picky they were about who they talked to; and about adventures down drains, and night fishing trips with Otter, or trips far from home with Badger. Dinner was a really enjoyable meal; but soon afterward, a very sleepy Mole had to be taken upstairs by his thoughtful host to the best bedroom, where he quickly laid his head on his pillow, feeling very peaceful and content, knowing that his new friend, the River, was gently lapping at his window.
This day was only the first of many similar ones for the emancipated Mole, each of them longer and full of interest as the ripening summer moved onward. He learnt to swim and to row, and entered into the joy of running water; and with his ear to the reed-stems he caught, at intervals, something of what the wind went whispering so constantly among them. [Pg 27]
This day was just the first of many like it for the freed Mole, each one longer and more engaging as summer progressed. He learned how to swim and row, discovering the joy of flowing water; and with his ear to the reeds, he picked up bits of what the wind was constantly whispering among them. [Pg 27]
"RATTY," said the Mole suddenly, one bright summer morning, "if you please, I want to ask you a favour."
"RATTY," the Mole said suddenly one bright summer morning, "if you don’t mind, I want to ask you a favor."
The Rat was sitting on the river bank, singing a little song. He had just composed it himself, so he was very taken up with it, and would not pay proper attention to Mole or anything else. Since early morning he had been swimming in the river, in company with his friends, the ducks. And when the ducks stood on their heads suddenly, as ducks will, he would dive down and tickle their necks, just under where their chins would be if ducks had chins, till they were forced to come to the surface again in a hurry, spluttering and angry and shaking their feathers at him, for it is impossible to say quite all you feel when your head is under water. At last they implored him to go away [Pg 30] and attend to his own affairs and leave them to mind theirs. So the Rat went away, and sat on the river bank in the sun, and made up a song about them, which he called:
The Rat was sitting on the riverbank, singing a little song. He had just made it up himself, so he was really into it and wouldn't pay much attention to Mole or anything else. Since early morning, he had been swimming in the river with his friends, the ducks. Whenever the ducks suddenly went underwater, as ducks do, he would dive down and tickle their necks, right under where their chins would be if ducks had chins, until they had to come up quickly, spluttering and annoyed, shaking their feathers at him because you can’t really express everything you feel when your head is underwater. Eventually, they begged him to go away and take care of his own business while they looked after theirs. So the Rat moved away, sat on the riverbank in the sun, and made up a song about them, which he titled:
Ducks are dabbling,
Up tails all!
Yellow feet trembling,
Yellow bills are completely out of view. Busy in the river!
Here we store our food,
Cool, full, and dim.
We enjoy being Heads down, tails up, Dabbling freely!
We are messing around Up tails all!
"I don't know that I think so very much of that little song, Rat," observed the Mole cautiously. He was no poet himself and didn't care who knew it; and he had a candid nature.
"I don't know if I really think that highly of that little song, Rat," the Mole said cautiously. He wasn't a poet, and he didn't care who knew it; he had an open nature.
"Nor don't the ducks neither," replied the Rat cheerfully. "They say, 'Why can't fellows be allowed to do what they like when they like and as they like, instead of other fellows sitting on banks and watching them all the time and making remarks and poetry and things about them? What nonsense it all is!' That's what the ducks say."
"Neither do the ducks," replied the Rat happily. "They say, 'Why can't people do what they want when they want and how they want, instead of others sitting by the banks and watching them all the time, making comments and poetry about them? What nonsense all of this is!' That's what the ducks say."
"So it is, so it is," said the Mole, with great heartiness.
"So it is, so it is," said the Mole, with a lot of enthusiasm.
"No, it isn't!" cried the Rat indignantly.
"No, it isn't!" the Rat exclaimed, feeling indignant.
"Well then, it isn't, it isn't," replied the Mole soothingly. "But what I wanted to ask you was, won't you take me to call on Mr. Toad? I've heard so much about him, and I do so want to make his acquaintance."
"Well, it’s not, it’s not," replied the Mole gently. "But what I wanted to ask you is, will you take me to visit Mr. Toad? I've heard so much about him, and I really want to meet him."
"Why, certainly," said the good-natured Rat, jumping to his feet and dismissing poetry from his mind for the day. "Get the boat out, and we'll paddle up there at once. It's never the [Pg 32] wrong time to call on Toad. Early or late, he's always the same fellow. Always good-tempered, always glad to see you, always sorry when you go!"
"Of course," said the friendly Rat, jumping up and setting aside thoughts of poetry for the day. "Let’s get the boat ready, and we’ll head up there right away. It’s never a bad time to visit Toad. Whether it’s early or late, he’s always the same. Always cheerful, always happy to see you, and always sad to see you leave!"
"He must be a very nice animal," observed the Mole, as he got into the boat and took the sculls, while the Rat settled himself comfortably in the stern.
"He must be a really nice creature," the Mole said as he climbed into the boat and picked up the oars, while the Rat settled in comfortably at the back.
"He is indeed the best of animals," replied Rat. "So simple, so good-natured, and so affectionate. Perhaps he's not very clever—we can't all be geniuses; and it may be that he is both boastful and conceited. But he has got some great qualities, has Toady."
"He really is the best of animals," Rat replied. "So straightforward, so kind-hearted, and so loving. Maybe he's not the brightest—we can't all be geniuses; and it could be that he can be a bit arrogant and full of himself. But Toady has some amazing qualities."
Rounding a bend in the river, they came in sight of a handsome, dignified old house of mellowed red brick, with well-kept lawns reaching down to the water's edge.
Rounding a bend in the river, they saw a beautiful, stately old house made of warm red brick, with neatly maintained lawns stretching down to the water's edge.
"There's Toad Hall," said the Rat; "and that creek on the left, where the notice-board says, 'Private. No landing allowed,' leads to his boat-house, where we'll leave the boat. The stables are over there to the right. That's [Pg 33] the banqueting-hall you're looking at now—very old, that is. Toad is rather rich, you know, and this is really one of the nicest houses in these parts, though we never admit as much to Toad."
"There's Toad Hall," said the Rat; "and that creek on the left, where the sign says, 'Private. No landing allowed,' leads to his boathouse, where we'll leave the boat. The stables are over there to the right. That's [Pg 33] the banqueting hall you're looking at now—it's really old. Toad is quite wealthy, you know, and this is actually one of the nicest houses around here, although we never admit that to Toad."
They glided up the creek, and the Mole shipped his sculls as they passed into the shadow of a large boat-house. Here they saw many handsome boats, slung from the cross-beams or hauled up on a slip, but none in the water; and the place had an unused and a deserted air.
They floated up the creek, and the Mole put away his oars as they entered the shade of a large boathouse. Here they saw many beautiful boats, hanging from the cross-beams or pulled up on a slip, but none in the water; and the place had a neglected and abandoned feel.
The Rat looked around him. "I understand," said he. "Boating is played out. He's tired of it, and done with it. I wonder what new fad he has taken up now? Come along and let's look him up. We shall hear all about it quite soon enough."
The Rat looked around. "I get it," he said. "Boating is old news. He's tired of it and done with it. I wonder what new trend he's into now? Come on, let’s go see him. We’ll hear all about it soon enough."
They disembarked, and strolled across the gay flower-decked lawns in search of Toad, whom they presently happened upon resting in a wicker garden-chair, with a pre-occupied expression of face, and a large map spread out on his knees.
They got off and walked across the colorful, flower-filled lawns looking for Toad, who they soon found lounging in a wicker chair, looking lost in thought, with a big map spread out on his lap.
"Hooray!" he cried, jumping up on seeing them, "this is splendid!" He shook the paws of both of them warmly, never waiting for an [Pg 34] introduction to the Mole. "How kind of you!" he went on, dancing round them. "I was just going to send a boat down the river for you, Ratty, with strict orders that you were to be fetched up here at once, whatever you were doing. I want you badly—both of you. Now what will you take? Come inside and have something! You don't know how lucky it is, your turning up just now!"
"Hooray!" he shouted, jumping up when he saw them, "this is amazing!" He warmly shook hands with both of them, not even waiting to introduce himself to the Mole. "How nice of you!" he continued, dancing around them. "I was just about to send a boat down the river for you, Ratty, with strict orders for you to come up here right away, no matter what you were doing. I really need you—both of you. Now, what do you want to drink? Come inside and have something! You have no idea how lucky it is that you showed up just now!"
"Let's sit quiet a bit, Toady!" said the Rat, throwing himself into an easy chair, while the Mole took another by the side of him and made some civil remark about Toad's "delightful residence."
"Let's sit quietly for a moment, Toady!" said the Rat, plopping down into an easy chair, while the Mole took a seat next to him and made some polite comment about Toad's "lovely home."
"Finest house on the whole river," cried Toad boisterously. "Or anywhere else, for that matter," he could not help adding.
"Best house on the entire river," Toad shouted enthusiastically. "Or anywhere else, for that matter," he couldn't help but add.
Here the Rat nudged the Mole. Unfortunately the Toad saw him do it, and turned very red. There was a moment's painful silence. Then Toad burst out laughing. "All right, Ratty," he said. "It's only my way, you know. And it's not such a very bad house, is it? You know, you rather like it yourself. Now, look [Pg 35] here. Let's be sensible. You are the very animals I wanted. You've got to help me. It's most important!"
Here the Rat nudged the Mole. Unfortunately, Toad saw him do it and turned bright red. There was an awkward silence for a moment. Then Toad burst out laughing. "Alright, Ratty," he said. "It’s just my style, you know. And it’s not such a bad house, right? You know you kind of like it yourself. Now, listen. Let’s be sensible. You are exactly the animals I needed. You’ve got to help me. It's really important!"
"It's about your rowing, I suppose," said the Rat, with an innocent air. "You're getting on fairly well, though you splash a good bit still. With a great deal of patience and any quantity of coaching, you may—"
"It's about your rowing, I guess," said the Rat, looking innocent. "You're doing pretty well, although you still splash a lot. With a lot of patience and plenty of coaching, you might—"
"O, pooh! boating!" interrupted the Toad, in great disgust. "Silly boyish amusement. I've given that up long ago. Sheer waste of time, that's what it is. It makes me downright sorry to see you fellows, who ought to know better, spending all your energies in that aimless manner. No, I've discovered the real thing, the only genuine occupation for a lifetime. I propose to devote the remainder of mine to it, and can only regret the wasted years that lie behind me, squandered in trivialities. Come with me, dear Ratty, and your amiable friend also, if he will be so very good, just as far as the stable-yard, and you shall see what you shall see!"
"Oh, come on! Boating!" interrupted the Toad, clearly annoyed. "Silly childish fun. I've given that up a long time ago. It's just a waste of time, that's what it is. It honestly makes me sad to see you guys, who should know better, wasting all your energy in such an aimless way. No, I've found the real thing, the only true occupation for a lifetime. I plan to dedicate the rest of mine to it and can only regret the wasted years behind me, spent on trivial things. Come with me, dear Ratty, and your nice friend too, if he could be so kind, just as far as the stable yard, and you'll see what you’ll see!"
He led the way to the stable-yard accordingly, [Pg 36] the Rat following with a most mistrustful expression; and there, drawn out of the coach-house into the open, they saw a gipsy caravan, shining with newness, painted a canary-yellow picked out with green, and red wheels.
He took the lead to the stable yard, and the Rat followed with a very suspicious look; there, pulled out from the coach house into the open, they spotted a gypsy caravan, gleaming with freshness, painted a bright yellow with green accents, and red wheels.
"There you are!" cried the Toad, straddling and expanding himself. "There's real life for you, embodied in that little cart. The open road, the dusty highway, the heath, the common, the hedgerows, the rolling downs! Camps, villages, towns, cities! Here to-day, up and off to somewhere else to-morrow! Travel, change, interest, excitement! The whole world before you, and a horizon that's always changing! And mind! this is the very finest cart of its sort that was ever built, without any exception. Come inside and look at the arrangements. Planned 'em all myself, I did!"
“There you are!” shouted the Toad, straddling and puffing himself up. “There’s real life for you, captured in that little cart. The open road, the dusty highway, the heath, the commons, the hedgerows, the rolling hills! Camps, villages, towns, cities! Here today, off to somewhere else tomorrow! Travel, change, excitement, adventure! The whole world is ahead of you, and a horizon that’s always shifting! And just so you know, this is the very best cart of its kind that was ever made, no exceptions. Come inside and check out the setup. I planned it all myself, I did!”
The Mole was tremendously interested and excited, and followed him eagerly up the steps and into the interior of the caravan. The Rat only snorted and thrust his hands deep into his pockets, remaining where he was.
The Mole was really curious and excited, and followed him eagerly up the steps and into the inside of the caravan. The Rat just snorted and shoved his hands deep into his pockets, staying where he was.
It was indeed very compact and comfortable. [Pg 37] Little sleeping bunks—a little table that folded up against the wall—a cooking-stove, lockers, book-shelves, a bird-cage with a bird in it; and pots, pans, jugs, and kettles of every size and variety.
It was really cozy and compact. [Pg 37] Small sleeping bunks—a little table that folded up against the wall—a stove, storage lockers, bookshelves, a birdcage with a bird in it; plus pots, pans, jugs, and kettles of all shapes and sizes.
"All complete!" said the Toad triumphantly, pulling open a locker. "You see—biscuits, potted lobster, sardines—everything you can possibly want. Soda-water here—baccy there—letter-paper, bacon, jam, cards, and dominoes—you'll find," he continued, as they descended the steps again, "you'll find that nothing whatever has been forgotten, when we make our start this afternoon."
"All done!" said the Toad proudly, pulling open a locker. "You see—cookies, canned lobster, sardines—everything you could possibly need. Soda water here—tobacco there—stationery, bacon, jam, cards, and dominoes—you'll see," he continued as they went down the steps again, "you'll see that nothing has been left out when we set off this afternoon."
"I beg your pardon," said the Rat slowly, as he chewed a straw, "but did I overhear you say something about 'we,' and 'start,' and 'this afternoon'?"
"I’m sorry," said the Rat slowly, as he chewed on a straw, "but did I hear you mention something about 'we,' and 'start,' and 'this afternoon'?"
"Now, you dear good old Ratty," said Toad imploringly, "don't begin talking in that stiff and sniffy sort of way, because you know you've got to come. I can't possibly manage without you, so please consider it settled, and don't argue—it's the one thing I can't stand. You [Pg 38] surely don't mean to stick to your dull fusty old river all your life, and just live in a hole in a bank, and boat? I want to show you the world! I'm going to make an animal of you, my boy!"
"Now, you good old Ratty," Toad said earnestly, "don't start talking in that uptight and snooty way, because you know you have to come along. I can't manage without you, so let's just say it's settled, and please don't argue—it's the one thing I really can't stand. You surely don’t plan to stick to your boring, old river for the rest of your life, just living in a hole in the bank and boating, right? I want to show you the world! I'm going to make a proper adventurer out of you, my friend!"
"I don't care," said the Rat doggedly. "I'm not coming, and that's flat. And I am going to stick to my old river, and live in a hole, and boat, as I've always done. And what's more, Mole's going to stick to me and do as I do, aren't you, Mole?"
"I don't care," said the Rat stubbornly. "I'm not going, and that's final. And I am going to stay by my old river, and live in a hole, and boat, just like I always have. Plus, Mole's going to stick with me and do what I do, right, Mole?"
"Of course I am," said the Mole, loyally. "I'll always stick to you, Rat, and what you say is to be—has got to be. All the same, it sounds as if it might have been—well, rather fun, you know!" he added wistfully. Poor Mole! The Life Adventurous was so new a thing to him, and so thrilling; and this fresh aspect of it was so tempting; and he had fallen in love at first sight with the canary-coloured cart and all its little fitments.
"Of course I am," said the Mole, loyally. "I'll always stick with you, Rat, and what you say goes—has to go. Still, it sounds like it could have been—well, pretty fun, you know!" he added wistfully. Poor Mole! The adventurous life was such a new thing for him, and so exciting; this new side of it was so inviting; and he had instantly fallen in love with the canary-colored cart and all its little accessories.
The Rat saw what was passing in his mind, and wavered. He hated disappointing people, and he was fond of the Mole, and would do [Pg 39] almost anything to oblige him. Toad was watching both of them closely.
The Rat noticed what was going on in his mind and hesitated. He hated letting people down, and he cared about the Mole, so he would do almost anything to help him. Toad was closely watching both of them.
"Come along in, and have some lunch," he said, diplomatically, "and we'll talk it over. We needn't decide anything in a hurry. Of course, I don't really care. I only want to give pleasure to you fellows. 'Live for others!' That's my motto in life."
"Come on in and grab some lunch," he said, diplomatically, "and we can discuss it. We don't need to rush into any decisions. Honestly, I don't really mind. I just want to make you guys happy. 'Live for others!' That's my motto in life."
During luncheon—which was excellent, of course, as everything at Toad Hall always was—the Toad simply let himself go. Disregarding the Rat, he proceeded to play upon the inexperienced Mole as on a harp. Naturally a voluble animal, and always mastered by his imagination, he painted the prospects of the trip and the joys of the open life and the roadside in such glowing colours that the Mole could hardly sit in his chair for excitement. Somehow, it soon seemed taken for granted by all three of them that the trip was a settled thing; and the Rat, though still unconvinced in his mind, allowed his good-nature to over-ride his personal objections. He could not bear to disappoint his two friends, who were already [Pg 40] deep in schemes and anticipations, planning out each day's separate occupation for several weeks ahead.
During lunch—which was, of course, excellent, just like everything at Toad Hall usually is—Toad completely relaxed. Ignoring Rat, he started to play on the inexperienced Mole like an instrument. Naturally a talkative animal, and always driven by his imagination, he described the excitement of the trip and the joys of living freely on the road in such vivid terms that Mole could hardly stay in his chair from excitement. Before long, it seemed to everyone that the trip was a done deal; and Rat, although still unsure in his mind, let his good nature take priority over his personal doubts. He couldn’t stand to let his two friends down, who were already fully engaged in plans and expectations, mapping out each day’s activities for several weeks ahead.
When they were quite ready, the now triumphant Toad led his companions to the paddock and set them to capture the old grey horse, who, without having been consulted, and to his own extreme annoyance, had been told off by Toad for the dustiest job in this dusty expedition. He frankly preferred the paddock, and took a deal of catching. Meantime Toad packed the lockers still tighter with necessaries, and hung nose-bags, nets of onions, bundles of hay, and baskets from the bottom of the cart. At last the horse was caught and harnessed, and they set off, all talking at once, each animal either trudging by the side of the cart or sitting on the shaft, as the humour took him. It was a golden afternoon. The smell of the dust they kicked up was rich and satisfying; out of thick orchards on either side the road, birds called and whistled to them cheerily; good-natured wayfarers, passing them, gave them "Good day," or stopped to say nice things about their [Pg 41] beautiful cart; and rabbits, sitting at their front doors in the hedgerows, held up their fore-paws, and said, "O my! O my! O my!"
When they were finally ready, the now victorious Toad led his friends to the paddock and set them to catch the old gray horse, who, without being asked and to his great annoyance, had been assigned by Toad to the dustiest job of this dusty adventure. He honestly preferred the paddock and was quite difficult to catch. Meanwhile, Toad packed the lockers even more tightly with supplies and hung feed bags, nets of onions, bundles of hay, and baskets from the bottom of the cart. Eventually, they caught the horse and harnessed him, and then they set off, all talking at once, with each animal either trudging alongside the cart or sitting on the shaft, depending on how they felt. It was a golden afternoon. The smell of the dust they stirred up was rich and satisfying; from the dense orchards on either side of the road, birds cheerfully called and whistled to them; friendly travelers passing by greeted them with "Good day," or stopped to say nice things about their beautiful cart; and rabbits, sitting at their front doors in the hedgerows, raised their fore-paws and exclaimed, "O my! O my! O my!"
Late in the evening, tired and happy and miles from home, they drew up on a remote common far from habitations, turned the horse loose to graze, and ate their simple supper sitting on the grass by the side of the cart. Toad talked big about all he was going to do in the days to come, while stars grew fuller and larger all around them, and a yellow moon, appearing suddenly and silently from nowhere in particular, came to keep them company and listen to their talk. At last they turned in to their little bunks in the cart; and Toad, kicking out his legs, sleepily said, "Well, good night, you fellows! This is the real life for a gentleman! Talk about your old river!"
Late in the evening, feeling tired and happy and miles from home, they stopped at a remote meadow far from any buildings, let the horse roam to graze, and had their simple dinner sitting on the grass beside the cart. Toad bragged about all the things he was going to do in the days ahead, while the stars grew brighter and bigger around them, and a yellow moon suddenly appeared without warning to keep them company and listen to their conversation. Eventually, they crawled into their little beds in the cart, and Toad, stretching out his legs, sleepily said, "Well, good night, you guys! This is the real life for a gentleman! Forget about your old river!"
"I don't talk about my river," replied the patient Rat. "You know I don't, Toad. But I think about it," he added pathetically, in a lower tone: "I think about it—all the time!"
"I don't talk about my river," replied the patient Rat. "You know I don't, Toad. But I think about it," he added sadly, in a quieter voice: "I think about it—all the time!"
The Mole reached out from under his blanket, felt for the Rat's paw in the darkness, and [Pg 42] gave it a squeeze. "I'll do whatever you like, Ratty," he whispered. "Shall we run away to-morrow morning, quite early—very early—and go back to our dear old hole on the river?"
The Mole reached out from under his blanket, felt for the Rat's paw in the darkness, and [Pg 42] gave it a squeeze. "I’ll do whatever you want, Ratty," he whispered. "Should we run away tomorrow morning, really early—and head back to our nice old spot by the river?"
"No, no, we'll see it out," whispered back the Rat. "Thanks awfully, but I ought to stick by Toad till this trip is ended. It wouldn't be safe for him to be left to himself. It won't take very long. His fads never do. Good night!"
"No, no, we'll see this through," the Rat whispered back. "Thanks a lot, but I need to stay with Toad until this trip is over. It wouldn’t be safe for him to be left on his own. It won’t take very long. His obsessions never do. Good night!"
The end was indeed nearer than even the Rat suspected.
The end was definitely closer than the Rat even realized.
After so much open air and excitement the Toad slept very soundly, and no amount of shaking could rouse him out of bed next morning. So the Mole and Rat turned to, quietly and manfully, and while the Rat saw to the horse, and lit a fire, and cleaned last night's cups and platters, and got things ready for breakfast, the Mole trudged off to the nearest village, a long way off, for milk and eggs and various necessaries the Toad had, of course, forgotten to provide. The hard work had all been done, and the two animals were resting, thoroughly exhausted, by the time Toad appeared [Pg 43] on the scene, fresh and gay, remarking what a pleasant, easy life it was they were all leading now, after the cares and worries and fatigues of housekeeping at home.
After all the fresh air and excitement, the Toad slept very soundly, and no amount of shaking could wake him up the next morning. So, the Mole and Rat got to work quietly and diligently. While the Rat took care of the horse, lit a fire, cleaned last night's cups and plates, and prepared breakfast, the Mole trudged off to the nearest village, which was quite far, to get milk, eggs, and other essentials that Toad had, of course, forgotten to provide. The hard work was all finished, and the two animals were resting, completely exhausted, by the time Toad showed up, looking cheerful and lively, commenting on what a nice, easy life they were all living now, after all the stresses and strains of housekeeping at home. [Pg 43]
They had a pleasant ramble that day over grassy downs and along narrow by-lanes, and camped, as before, on a common, only this time the two guests took care that Toad should do his fair share of work. In consequence, when the time came for starting next morning, Toad was by no means so rapturous about the simplicity of the primitive life, and indeed attempted to resume his place in his bunk, whence he was hauled by force. Their way lay, as before, across country by narrow lanes, and it was not till the afternoon that they came out on the high-road, their first high-road; and there disaster, fleet and unforeseen, sprang out on them—disaster momentous indeed to their expedition, but simply overwhelming in its effect on the after career of Toad.
They had a fun walk that day over grassy hills and along narrow lanes, and camped, like before, on a common, but this time the two guests made sure that Toad did his fair share of work. As a result, when it was time to leave the next morning, Toad wasn't as thrilled about the simplicity of the primitive life and even tried to get back into his bunk, from which he was forcibly pulled out. Their route, like before, took them across the countryside by narrow lanes, and it wasn't until the afternoon that they reached the main road, their first main road; and there disaster, quick and unexpected, hit them—disaster that was significant for their trip, but completely overwhelming in its impact on Toad’s subsequent life.
They were strolling along the high-road easily, the Mole by the horse's head, talking to him, since the horse had complained that he was [Pg 44] being frightfully left out of it, and nobody considered him in the least; the Toad and the Water Rat walking behind the cart talking together—at least Toad was talking, and Rat was saying at intervals, "Yes, precisely; and what did you say to him?"—and thinking all the time of something very different, when far behind them they heard a faint warning hum, like the drone of a distant bee. Glancing back, they saw a small cloud of dust, with a dark centre of energy, advancing on them at incredible speed, while from out the dust a faint "Poop-poop!" wailed like an uneasy animal in pain. Hardly regarding it, they turned to resume their conversation, when in an instant (as it seemed) the peaceful scene was changed, and with a blast of wind and a whirl of sound that made them jump for the nearest ditch. It was on them! The "Poop-poop" rang with a brazen shout in their ears, they had a moment's glimpse of an interior of glittering plate-glass and rich morocco, and the magnificent motor-car, immense, breath-snatching, passionate, with its pilot tense and hugging his wheel, possessed all [Pg 45] earth and air for the fraction of a second, flung an enveloping cloud of dust that blinded and enwrapped them utterly, and then dwindled to a speck in the far distance, changed back into a droning bee once more.
They were casually walking along the main road, with the Mole by the horse's head chatting with him, since the horse had complained that he felt completely left out and that nobody paid him any attention. The Toad and the Water Rat were walking behind the cart, talking together—at least Toad was doing the talking, while Rat was occasionally saying, "Yes, exactly; and what did you say to him?"—but he was really thinking about something entirely different when, far behind them, they heard a faint warning hum, like the sound of a distant bee. Turning back, they noticed a small cloud of dust, with a dark center of energy, racing toward them at an incredible speed, and from out of the dust came a faint "Poop-poop!" that sounded like an animal in distress. Paying little attention to it, they resumed their conversation when suddenly (or so it seemed), the peaceful scene shifted dramatically. With a gust of wind and a whirlwind of sound that made them jump into the nearest ditch, it was upon them! The "Poop-poop" echoed in their ears like a loud shout, and they caught a brief glimpse of an interior filled with shiny plate-glass and luxurious morocco. The magnificent motor-car was gigantic, breathtaking, and intense, with its driver tense and gripping the wheel, dominating both earth and air for a split second. It then enveloped them in a cloud of dust that blinded and surrounded them entirely before shrinking to a speck in the distance, returning to the sound of a droning bee once more.
The old grey horse, dreaming, as he plodded along, of his quiet paddock, in a new raw situation such as this, simply abandoned himself to his natural emotions. Rearing, plunging, backing steadily, in spite of all the Mole's efforts at his head, and all the Mole's lively language directed at his better feelings, he drove the cart backward towards the deep ditch at the side of the road. It wavered an instant—then there was a heart-rending crash—and the canary-coloured cart, their pride and their joy, lay on its side in the ditch, an irredeemable wreck.
The old gray horse, lost in thought as he trudged along, dreamed of his peaceful paddock. In this new, uncomfortable situation, he gave in completely to his instincts. Rearing up, charging forward, and stubbornly backing up, despite all of Mole's attempts to calm him and the Mole's enthusiastic words trying to appeal to his better nature, he pushed the cart back toward the deep ditch by the side of the road. It hesitated for a moment—then there was a heartbreaking crash—and the canary-colored cart, their pride and joy, lay tipped over in the ditch, an irreparable mess.
The Rat danced up and down in the road, simply transported with passion. "You villains!" he shouted, shaking both fists. "You scoundrels, you highwaymen, you—you—road-hogs!—I'll have the law of you! I'll report you! I'll take you through all the Courts!" His home-sickness had quite slipped away from [Pg 46] him, and for the moment he was the skipper of the canary-coloured vessel driven on a shoal by the reckless jockeying of rival mariners, and he was trying to recollect all the fine and biting things he used to say to masters of steam-launches when their wash, as they drove too near the bank, used to flood his parlour-carpet at home.
The Rat danced up and down in the street, completely filled with excitement. "You villains!" he yelled, shaking both fists. "You scoundrels, you highwaymen, you—you—road-hogs! I’ll make sure the law gets you! I’ll report you! I’ll take you through all the courts!" His homesickness had completely vanished, and for a moment, he was the captain of the bright yellow boat pushed onto a sandbank by the reckless antics of rival sailors. He was trying to remember all the clever and cutting things he used to say to the masters of motorboats when their wakes, as they got too close to the shore, used to soak his living room carpet back home.
Toad sat straight down in the middle of the dusty road, his legs stretched out before him, and stared fixedly in the direction of the disappearing motor-car. He breathed short, his face wore a placid, satisfied expression, and at intervals he faintly murmured "Poop-poop!"
Toad plopped down right in the middle of the dusty road, his legs stretched out in front of him, and stared intently at the vanishing motorcar. He took short breaths, his face had a calm, content look, and now and then he softly said, "Poop-poop!"
The Mole was busy trying to quiet the horse, which he succeeded in doing after a time. Then he went to look at the cart, on its side in the ditch. It was indeed a sorry sight. Panels and windows smashed, axles hopelessly bent, one wheel off, sardine-tins scattered over the wide world, and the bird in the bird-cage sobbing pitifully and calling to be let out.
The Mole was busy trying to calm the horse, which he eventually managed to do. Then he went to check out the cart, which was tipped over in the ditch. It was truly a sad sight. The panels and windows were smashed, the axles were hopelessly bent, one wheel was missing, sardine cans were scattered everywhere, and the bird in the cage was crying sadly and calling to be let out.
The Rat came to help him, but their united efforts were not sufficient to right the cart. [Pg 47] "Hi! Toad!" they cried. "Come and bear a hand, can't you!"
The Rat came to help him, but their combined efforts weren't enough to fix the cart. [Pg 47] "Hey! Toad!" they shouted. "Come and lend a hand, will you!"
The Toad never answered a word, or budged from his seat in the road; so they went to see what was the matter with him. They found him in a sort of a trance, a happy smile on his face, his eyes still fixed on the dusty wake of their destroyer. At intervals he was still heard to murmur "Poop-poop!"
The Toad didn’t say a word or move from his spot in the road; so they went to check on him. They found him in a kind of trance, a happy smile on his face, his eyes still glued to the dusty trail left by their destroyer. Every once in a while, he was heard mumbling, "Poop-poop!"
The Rat shook him by the shoulder. "Are you coming to help us, Toad?" he demanded sternly.
The Rat shook him by the shoulder. "Are you coming to help us, Toad?" he asked firmly.
"Glorious, stirring sight!" murmured Toad, never offering to move. "The poetry of motion! The real way to travel! The only way to travel! Here to-day—in next week to-morrow! Villages skipped, towns and cities jumped—always somebody else's horizon! O bliss! O poop-poop! O my! O my!"
"Glorious, amazing sight!" murmured Toad, never thinking of moving. "The beauty of motion! The real way to travel! The only way to travel! Here today—in next week tomorrow! Villages passed by, towns and cities leaped—always someone else's horizon! Oh bliss! Oh beep-beep! Oh my! Oh my!"
"O stop being an ass, Toad!" cried the Mole despairingly.
"O stop being a jerk, Toad!" cried the Mole in despair.
"And to think I never knew!" went on the Toad in a dreamy monotone. "All those wasted years that lie behind me, I never knew, never even dreamt! But now—but now that I know, [Pg 48] now that I fully realise! O what a flowery track lies spread before me, henceforth! What dust-clouds shall spring up behind me as I speed on my reckless way! What carts I shall fling carelessly into the ditch in the wake of my magnificent onset! Horrid little carts—common carts—canary-coloured carts!"
"And to think I never knew!” the Toad continued in a dreamy tone. “All those wasted years behind me, I never knew, never even dreamt! But now—now that I know, [Pg 48] now that I fully realize! Oh, what a beautiful path lies ahead of me from now on! What dust clouds will rise behind me as I rush forward on my wild journey! What carts I will carelessly toss into the ditch in the wake of my amazing start! Horrible little carts—ordinary carts—bright yellow carts!”
"What are we to do with him?" asked the Mole of the Water Rat.
"What should we do with him?" asked the Mole of the Water Rat.
"Nothing at all," replied the Rat firmly. "Because there is really nothing to be done. You see, I know him from of old. He is now possessed. He has got a new craze, and it always takes him that way, in its first stage. He'll continue like that for days now, like an animal walking in a happy dream, quite useless for all practical purposes. Never mind him. Let's go and see what there is to be done about the cart."
"Nothing at all," replied the Rat firmly. "Because there's really nothing that can be done. You see, I know him well. He's currently obsessed. He's got a new obsession, and it always affects him like this in the beginning. He'll stay like this for days now, like an animal lost in a happy dream, completely useless for anything practical. Don't worry about him. Let's go see what we can do about the cart."
A careful inspection showed them that, even if they succeeded in righting it by themselves, the cart would travel no longer. The axles were in a hopeless state, and the missing wheel was shattered into pieces. [Pg 49]
A close look revealed that, even if they managed to fix it on their own, the cart wouldn’t go anywhere. The axles were in terrible shape, and the missing wheel was broken into fragments. [Pg 49]
The Rat knotted the horse's reins over his back and took him by the head, carrying the bird-cage and its hysterical occupant in the other hand. "Come on!" he said grimly to the Mole. "It's five or six miles to the nearest town, and we shall just have to walk it. The sooner we make a start the better."
The Rat tied the horse's reins over his back and grabbed him by the head, holding the birdcage and its frantic occupant in the other hand. "Let’s go!" he said sternly to the Mole. "It's about five or six miles to the nearest town, and we’ll have to walk there. The sooner we get going, the better."
"But what about Toad?" asked the Mole anxiously, as they set off together. "We can't leave him here, sitting in the middle of the road by himself, in the distracted state he's in! It's not safe. Supposing another Thing were to come along?"
"But what about Toad?" the Mole asked nervously as they started off together. "We can't just leave him here, sitting alone in the middle of the road like this! It's not safe. What if another vehicle comes along?"
"O, bother Toad," said the Rat savagely; "I've done with him."
"O, bother Toad," the Rat said angrily; "I'm done with him."
They had not proceeded very far on their way, however, when there was a pattering of feet behind them, and Toad caught them up and thrust a paw inside the elbow of each of them; still breathing short and staring into vacancy.
They hadn't gone far on their way when they heard footsteps behind them, and Toad caught up with them, linking his arm through each of theirs; he was still breathing heavily and staring off into space.
"Now, look here, Toad!" said the Rat sharply: "as soon as we get to the town, you'll have to go straight to the police-station and see if they [Pg 50] know anything about that motor-car and who it belongs to, and lodge a complaint against it. And then you'll have to go to a blacksmith's or a wheelwright's and arrange for the cart to be fetched and mended and put to rights. It'll take time, but it's not quite a hopeless smash. Meanwhile, the Mole and I will go to an inn and find comfortable rooms where we can stay till the cart's ready, and till your nerves have recovered their shock."
"Listen up, Toad!" said the Rat sharply. "As soon as we get to town, you need to head straight to the police station and check if they know anything about that motor car and who it belongs to, and file a complaint about it. Then you’ll have to go to a blacksmith or a wheelwright and arrange for the cart to be towed, fixed up, and put back in order. It’ll take some time, but it’s not a complete disaster. In the meantime, the Mole and I will find an inn with comfy rooms where we can stay until the cart's ready and you’ve calmed down."
"Police-station! Complaint!" murmured Toad dreamily. "Me complain of that beautiful, that heavenly vision that has been vouchsafed me! Mend the cart! I've done with carts for ever. I never want to see the cart, or to hear of it, again. O Ratty! You can't think how obliged I am to you for consenting to come on this trip! I wouldn't have gone without you, and then I might never have seen that—that swan, that sunbeam, that thunderbolt! I might never have heard that entrancing sound, or smelt that bewitching smell! I owe it all to you, my best of friends!"
"Police station! I have a complaint!" Toad said dreamily. "I'm complaining about that beautiful, that heavenly vision that I've been granted! Fix the cart! I'm done with carts forever. I never want to see the cart or hear about it again. Oh Ratty! You can't imagine how grateful I am to you for agreeing to come on this trip! I wouldn't have gone without you, and then I might never have seen that—that swan, that sunbeam, that thunderbolt! I might never have heard that enchanting sound or smelled that captivating scent! I owe it all to you, my best friend!"

The Rat turned from him in despair. "You [Pg 51] see what it is?" he said to the Mole, addressing him across Toad's head: "He's quite hopeless. I give it up—when we get to the town we'll go to the railway station, and with luck we may pick up a train there that'll get us back to river bank to-night. And if ever you catch me going a-pleasuring with this provoking animal again!"—He snorted, and during the rest of that weary trudge addressed his remarks exclusively to Mole.
The Rat turned away from him in frustration. "Do you see what this is?" he said to the Mole, speaking over Toad's head: "He's absolutely useless. I'm done—when we get to town, we'll head to the train station, and if we're lucky, we might catch a train that will take us back to the riverside tonight. And if you ever catch me going on an outing with this irritating creature again!"—He huffed, and for the rest of that exhausting journey, he only spoke to Mole.
On reaching the town they went straight to the station and deposited Toad in the second-class waiting-room, giving a porter twopence to keep a strict eye on him. They then left the horse at an inn stable, and gave what directions they could about the cart and its contents. Eventually, a slow train having landed them at a station not very far from Toad Hall, they escorted the spellbound, sleep-walking Toad to his door, put him inside it, and instructed his housekeeper to feed him, undress him, and put him to bed. Then they got out their boat from the boat-house, sculled down the river home, and at a very late hour sat down to supper in [Pg 52] their own cosy riverside parlour, to the Rat's great joy and contentment.
Upon reaching the town, they headed straight to the station and placed Toad in the second-class waiting room, giving a porter two pence to keep a close watch on him. They then left the horse at an inn stable and provided whatever instructions they could about the cart and its contents. Eventually, after a slow train dropped them off at a station not far from Toad Hall, they guided the dazed, half-asleep Toad to his door, helped him inside, and told his housekeeper to feed him, undress him, and get him tucked into bed. After that, they took their boat from the boathouse, rowed down the river home, and at a very late hour sat down to dinner in [Pg 52] their own comfortable riverside parlor, which made the Rat very happy and satisfied.
The following evening the Mole, who had risen late and taken things very easy all day, was sitting on the bank fishing, when the Rat, who had been looking up his friends and gossiping, came strolling along to find him. "Heard the news?" he said. "There's nothing else being talked about, all along the river bank. Toad went up to Town by an early train this morning. And he has ordered a large and very expensive motor-car." [Pg 53]
The next evening, the Mole, who had slept in and taken it easy all day, was sitting by the bank fishing when the Rat, who had been catching up with friends and chatting, walked over to find him. "Did you hear the news?" he said. "It's all anyone's talking about along the riverbank. Toad took an early train to Town this morning. And he ordered a big and very expensive car." [Pg 53]
THE Mole had long wanted to make the acquaintance of the Badger. He seemed, by all accounts, to be such an important personage and, though rarely visible, to make his unseen influence felt by everybody about the place. But whenever the Mole mentioned his wish to the Water Rat, he always found himself put off. "It's all right," the Rat would say. "Badger'll turn up some day or other—he's always turning up—and then I'll introduce you. The best of fellows! But you must not only take him as you find him, but when you find him."
THE Mole had always wanted to meet the Badger. He seemed, from what everyone said, to be such an important character and, although he was rarely seen, his unseen influence was felt by everyone around. But whenever the Mole brought up his desire to the Water Rat, he was always brushed off. "It's fine," the Rat would say. "Badger will show up someday—he’s always showing up—and then I’ll introduce you. A great guy! But you have to take him not just as you find him, but when you find him."
"Couldn't you ask him here—dinner or something?" said the Mole.
"Why don't you invite him over for dinner or something?" said the Mole.
"He wouldn't come," replied the Rat simply. "Badger hates Society, and invitations, and dinner, and all that sort of thing." [Pg 56]
"He won't come," said the Rat matter-of-factly. "Badger hates Society, invitations, dinner, and all that kind of stuff." [Pg 56]
"Well, then, supposing we go and call on him?" suggested the Mole.
"Well, how about we go and visit him?" suggested the Mole.
"O, I'm sure he wouldn't like that at all," said the Rat, quite alarmed. "He's so very shy, he'd be sure to be offended. I've never even ventured to call on him at his own home myself, though I know him so well. Besides, we can't. It's quite out of the question, because he lives in the very middle of the Wild Wood."
"Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't like that at all," said the Rat, looking really worried. "He's really shy, and he would definitely be offended. I've never even dared to visit him at his own place, even though I know him pretty well. Plus, we can’t. It's totally out of the question because he lives right in the middle of the Wild Wood."
"Well, supposing he does," said the Mole. "You told me the Wild Wood was all right, you know."
"Well, what if he does?" said the Mole. "You told me the Wild Wood was fine, you know."
"O, I know, I know, so it is," replied the Rat evasively. "But I think we won't go there just now. Not just yet. It's a long way, and he wouldn't be at home at this time of year anyhow, and he'll be coming along some day, if you'll wait quietly."
"O, I know, I know, that's how it is," replied the Rat evasively. "But I think we shouldn't go there right now. Not just yet. It's a long way, and he wouldn't be at home at this time of year anyway, and he'll be coming along someday if you can just wait quietly."
The Mole had to be content with this. But the Badger never came along, and every day brought its amusements, and it was not till summer was long over, and cold and frost and miry ways kept them much indoors, and the [Pg 57] swollen river raced past outside their windows with a speed that mocked at boating of any sort or kind, that he found his thoughts dwelling again with much persistence on the solitary grey Badger, who lived his own life by himself, in his hole in the middle of the Wild Wood.
The Mole had to accept this. But the Badger never showed up, and each day had its own little distractions. It wasn't until summer had completely passed, and the chill, frost, and muddy paths kept them mostly inside, and the swollen river rushed by their windows with a speed that made any kind of boating impossible, that he found himself thinking more and more about the solitary gray Badger, who lived alone in his home in the heart of the Wild Wood.
In the winter time the Rat slept a great deal, retiring early and rising late. During his short day he sometimes scribbled poetry or did other small domestic jobs about the house; and, of course, there were always animals dropping in for a chat, and consequently there was a good deal of story-telling and comparing notes on the past summer and all its doings.
In the winter, the Rat slept a lot, going to bed early and getting up late. During his short days, he sometimes wrote poetry or did other small chores around the house; and, of course, there were always animals stopping by for a chat, leading to plenty of storytelling and sharing memories of the past summer and everything that happened.
Such a rich chapter it had been, when one came to look back on it all! With illustrations so numerous and so very highly-coloured! The pageant of the river bank had marched steadily along, unfolding itself in scene-pictures that succeeded each other in stately procession. Purple loosestrife arrived early, shaking luxuriant tangled locks along the edge of the mirror whence its own face laughed back at it. Willow-herb, tender and wistful, like a pink sunset cloud, was [Pg 58] not slow to follow. Comfrey, the purple hand-in-hand with the white, crept forth to take its place in the line; and at last one morning the diffident and delaying dog-rose stepped delicately on the stage, and one knew, as if string-music had announced it in stately chords that strayed into a gavotte, that June at last was here. One member of the company was still awaited; the shepherd-boy for the nymphs to woo, the knight for whom the ladies waited at the window, the prince that was to kiss the sleeping summer back to life and love. But when meadow-sweet, debonair and odorous in amber jerkin, moved graciously to his place in the group, then the play was ready to begin.
What a rich chapter it had been when looking back on it all! With so many bright illustrations! The scene along the riverbank unfolded like a parade, displaying pictures that followed one after another in a grand procession. Purple loosestrife appeared early, shaking its lush tangled locks along the edge of the water, where its own reflection smiled back. Willow-herb, gentle and dreamy like a pink sunset cloud, didn’t take long to arrive. Comfrey, the purple paired with white, crept in to join the line; and finally, one morning, the shy and hesitant dog-rose stepped delicately onto the scene, signaling—as if string music announced it in elegant chords moving into a gavotte—that June had finally arrived. One member of the group was still awaited: the shepherd boy for the nymphs to woo, the knight for whom the ladies waited at the window, the prince who would awaken the sleeping summer back to life and love. But when meadow-sweet, charming and fragrant in his amber jacket, moved gracefully into the group, the show was ready to begin.
And what a play it had been! Drowsy animals, snug in their holes while wind and rain were battering at their doors, recalled still keen mornings, an hour before sunrise, when the white mist, as yet undispersed, clung closely along the surface of the water; then the shock of the early plunge, the scamper along the bank, and the radiant transformation of earth, air, and water, when suddenly the sun was with them [Pg 59] again, and grey was gold and colour was born and sprang out of the earth once more. They recalled the languorous siesta of hot mid-day, deep in green undergrowth, the sun striking through in tiny golden shafts and spots; the boating and bathing of the afternoon, the rambles along dusty lanes and through yellow corn-fields; and the long, cool evening at last, when so many threads were gathered up, so many friendships rounded, and so many adventures planned for the morrow. There was plenty to talk about on those short winter days when the animals found themselves round the fire; still, the Mole had a good deal of spare time on his hands, and so one afternoon, when the Rat in his arm-chair before the blaze was alternately dozing and trying over rhymes that wouldn't fit, he formed the resolution to go out by himself and explore the Wild Wood, and perhaps strike up an acquaintance with Mr. Badger.
And what a show it had been! Sleepy animals, tucked in their burrows while the wind and rain hammered at their doors, remembered those fresh mornings, an hour before sunrise, when the white mist, still untouched, clung tightly to the water's surface; then came the thrill of the early dive, the dash along the bank, and the stunning change of earth, air, and water, when suddenly the sun was with them again, turning gray to gold and bringing color back to life. They remembered the lazy siesta of hot afternoons, deep in the lush greenery, with the sun breaking through in small golden beams and spots; the boating and swimming in the afternoon, the strolls along dusty paths and through golden cornfields; and finally the long, cool evening, when so many stories were told, so many friendships were formed, and so many adventures were planned for the next day. There was a lot to chat about on those short winter days when the animals gathered around the fire; still, the Mole found himself with quite a bit of free time, so one afternoon, while the Rat was slumped in his armchair by the fire, dozing off and struggling with rhymes that just wouldn’t work, he decided to go out on his own to explore the Wild Wood and maybe meet Mr. Badger.
It was a cold, still afternoon with a hard, steely sky overhead, when he slipped out of the warm parlour into the open air. The country lay bare and entirely leafless around him, [Pg 60] and he thought that he had never seen so far and so intimately into the insides of things as on that winter day when Nature was deep in her annual slumber and seemed to have kicked the clothes off. Copses, dells, quarries, and all hidden places, which had been mysterious mines for exploration in leafy summer, now exposed themselves and their secrets pathetically, and seemed to ask him to overlook their shabby poverty for a while, till they could riot in rich masquerade as before, and trick and entice him with the old deceptions. It was pitiful in a way, and yet cheering—even exhilarating. He was glad that he liked the country undecorated, hard, and stripped of its finery. He had got down to the bare bones of it, and they were fine and strong and simple. He did not want the warm clover and the play of seeding grasses; the screens of quickset, the billowy drapery of beech and elm seemed best away; and with great cheerfulness of spirit he pushed on towards the Wild Wood, which lay before him low and threatening, like a black reef in some still southern sea. [Pg 61]
It was a cold, quiet afternoon with a hard, gray sky overhead when he stepped out of the warm living room into the open air. The countryside was bare and completely leafless around him, [Pg 60] and he thought he had never seen so deeply and clearly into the essence of things as on that winter day when Nature was deep in her annual slumber, seemingly stripped of her coverings. The small woods, valleys, quarries, and all hidden spots that had been mysterious places for exploration in leafy summer now revealed themselves and their secrets pathetically, almost asking him to overlook their shabby state for a bit, until they could dress up in their rich colors again and trick and entice him with their old charms. It was sad in a way, but also uplifting—even exhilarating. He was happy that he appreciated the countryside in its unadorned, tough, and stripped-down state. He had reached its bare essence, and it was beautiful, strong, and simple. He didn't want the warm clover and the playful grasses; the thick hedges and the flowing greenery of beech and elm seemed best absent; and with a great sense of cheer, he moved toward the Wild Wood, which lay before him low and ominous, like a dark reef in a calm southern sea. [Pg 61]
There was nothing to alarm him at first entry. Twigs crackled under his feet, logs tripped him, funguses on stumps resembled caricatures, and startled him for the moment by their likeness to something familiar and far away; but that was all fun, and exciting. It led him on, and he penetrated to where the light was less, and trees crouched nearer and nearer, and holes made ugly mouths at him on either side.
There was nothing to worry him at first. Twigs snapped under his feet, logs stumbled him, fungi on stumps looked like funny drawings, and for a moment startled him with their resemblance to something familiar from a distance; but that was all fun and thrilling. It drew him in, and he moved deeper where the light faded, and the trees leaned in closer, while the gaps in the underbrush opened up like ugly mouths on either side.
Everything was very still now. The dusk advanced on him steadily, rapidly, gathering in behind and before; and the light seemed to be draining away like flood-water.
Everything was so quiet now. The dusk crept in around him steadily and quickly, closing in from behind and ahead; and the light seemed to be fading away like receding floodwater.
Then the faces began.
Then the faces started appearing.
It was over his shoulder, and indistinctly, that he first thought he saw a face, a little, evil, wedge-shaped face, looking out at him from a hole. When he turned and confronted it, the thing had vanished.
It was over his shoulder, and vaguely, that he first thought he saw a face, a small, wicked, wedge-shaped face, peering out at him from a hole. When he turned to face it, the thing had disappeared.
He quickened his pace, telling himself cheerfully not to begin imagining things or there would be simply no end to it. He passed another hole, and another, and another; and [Pg 62] then—yes!—no!—yes! certainly a little, narrow face, with hard eyes, had flashed up for an instant from a hole, and was gone. He hesitated—braced himself up for an effort and strode on. Then suddenly, and as if it had been so all the time, every hole, far and near, and there were hundreds of them, seemed to possess its face, coming and going rapidly, all fixing on him glances of malice and hatred: all hard-eyed and evil and sharp.
He quickened his pace, reminding himself cheerfully not to start imagining things, or there would be no end to it. He passed another hole, and another, and another; and [Pg 62] then—yes!—no!—yes! definitely a little, narrow face, with hard eyes, appeared for a moment from a hole, and then vanished. He hesitated—prepared himself for a push and moved on. Then suddenly, as if it had always been this way, every hole, near and far, and there were hundreds of them, seemed to have its own face, quickly appearing and disappearing, all locking onto him with looks of malice and hatred: all hard-eyed and evil and sharp.
If he could only get away from the holes in the banks, he thought, there would be no more faces. He swung off the path and plunged into the untrodden places of the wood.
If he could just escape the holes in the banks, he thought, there would be no more faces. He stepped off the path and dove into the untouched areas of the woods.
Then the whistling began.
Then the whistling started.
Very faint and shrill it was, and far behind him, when first he heard it; but somehow it made him hurry forward. Then, still very faint and shrill, it sounded far ahead of him, and made him hesitate and want to go back. As he halted in indecision it broke out on either side, and seemed to be caught up and passed on throughout the whole length of the wood to its farthest limit. They were up and alert and ready, evidently, [Pg 63] whoever they were! And he—he was alone, and unarmed, and far from any help; and the night was closing in.
It was very faint and high-pitched when he first heard it from behind him, but somehow it made him rush forward. Then, still very faint and high-pitched, it sounded far ahead of him, making him hesitate and wanting to turn back. As he paused, unsure, it echoed on either side and seemed to spread through the entire length of the woods to its furthest point. They were awake and ready, clearly, whoever they were! And he—he was alone, unarmed, and far from any help; and the night was closing in.
Then the pattering began.
Then the raindrops started.
He thought it was only falling leaves at first, so slight and delicate was the sound of it. Then as it grew it took a regular rhythm, and he knew it for nothing else but the pat-pat-pat of little feet still a very long way off. Was it in front or behind? It seemed to be first one, and then the other, then both. It grew and it multiplied, till from every quarter as he listened anxiously, leaning this way and that, it seemed to be closing in on him. As he stood still to hearken, a rabbit came running hard towards him through the trees. He waited, expecting it to slacken pace or to swerve from him into a different course. Instead, the animal almost brushed him as it dashed past, his face set and hard, his eyes staring. "Get out of this, you fool, get out!" the Mole heard him mutter as he swung round a stump and disappeared down a friendly burrow.
At first, he thought it was just the sound of falling leaves, so soft and delicate it was. But then it developed a steady rhythm, and he realized it was nothing else but the pat-pat-pat of tiny feet still a long way off. Was it in front of him or behind? It seemed to be one and then the other, maybe even both. The sound grew louder and multiplied, until from every direction he strained to listen, leaning this way and that, it felt like it was closing in on him. As he stood still to listen, a rabbit came rushing towards him through the trees. He expected it to slow down or veer off in another direction. Instead, the rabbit nearly brushed against him as it sped past, its face tense and eyes wide. "Get out of here, you idiot, get out!" the Mole heard it mumble as it turned around a stump and disappeared into a nearby burrow.
The pattering increased till it sounded like [Pg 64] sudden hail on the dry leaf-carpet spread around him. The whole wood seemed running now, running hard, hunting, chasing, closing in round something or—somebody? In panic, he began to run too, aimlessly, he knew not whither. He ran up against things, he fell over things and into things, he darted under things and dodged round things. At last he took refuge in the deep, dark hollow of an old beech tree, which offered shelter, concealment—perhaps even safety, but who could tell? Anyhow, he was too tired to run any further, and could only snuggle down into the dry leaves which had drifted into the hollow and hope he was safe for a time. And as he lay there panting and trembling, and listened to the whistlings and the patterings outside, he knew it at last, in all its fulness, that dread thing which other little dwellers in field and hedgerow had encountered here, and known as their darkest moment—that thing which the Rat had vainly tried to shield him from—the Terror of the Wild Wood!
The sound of the pattering got louder until it was like sudden hail hitting the dry leaves around him. The whole forest felt alive, rushing as if it were hunting or chasing something—or someone? In a panic, he started running too, without any direction, unsure of where to go. He bumped into things, tripped over things, fell into things, darted under things, and dodged around things. Finally, he found refuge in the deep, dark hollow of an old beech tree, which provided shelter, concealment—maybe even safety, but who knew? Anyway, he was too exhausted to run any further and could only curl up in the dry leaves that had collected in the hollow, hoping he was safe for a while. As he lay there, panting and trembling, listening to the whistling and pattering outside, he finally understood, in all its fullness, that terrifying thing that other little creatures in the fields and hedgerows had faced here and recognized as their darkest moment—that thing the Rat had tried so hard to protect him from—the Terror of the Wild Wood!

Meantime the Rat, warm and comfortable, dozed by his fireside. His paper of half-finished [Pg 65] verses slipped from his knee, his head fell back, his mouth opened, and he wandered by the verdant banks of dream-rivers. Then a coal slipped, the fire crackled and sent up a spurt of flame, and he woke with a start. Remembering what he had been engaged upon, he reached down to the floor for his verses, pored over them for a minute, and then looked round for the Mole to ask him if he knew a good rhyme for something or other.
Meanwhile, the Rat, warm and cozy, dozed by his fire. His half-finished poem slipped from his lap, his head fell back, his mouth opened, and he drifted along the lush banks of dream rivers. Then a coal shifted, the fire crackled, and a flare of flame shot up, jolting him awake. Remembering what he had been working on, he reached down to the floor for his verses, studied them for a minute, and then looked around for the Mole to ask if he knew a good rhyme for something or other.
But the Mole was not there.
But the Mole was not present.
He listened for a time. The house seemed very quiet.
He listened for a while. The house felt really quiet.
Then he called "Moly!" several times, and, receiving no answer, got up and went out into the hall.
Then he shouted, "Moly!" a few times, and when there was no response, he got up and went out into the hall.
The Mole's cap was missing from its accustomed peg. His goloshes, which always lay by the umbrella-stand, were also gone.
The Mole's hat was missing from its usual spot. His rain boots, which always rested by the umbrella stand, were also gone.
The Rat left the house, and carefully examined the muddy surface of the ground outside, hoping to find the Mole's tracks. There they were, sure enough. The goloshes were new, just bought for the winter, and the pimples on [Pg 66] their soles were fresh and sharp. He could see the imprints of them in the mud, running along straight and purposeful, leading direct to the Wild Wood.
The Rat left the house and carefully looked at the muddy ground outside, hoping to find the Mole's tracks. There they were, just as he expected. The boots were new, recently bought for winter, and the bumps on their soles were fresh and sharp. He could see their imprints in the mud, moving straight and with direction, leading right into the Wild Wood.
The Rat looked very grave, and stood in deep thought for a minute or two. Then he re-entered the house, strapped a belt round his waist, shoved a brace of pistols into it, took up a stout cudgel that stood in a corner of the hall, and set off for the Wild Wood at a smart pace.
The Rat looked serious and paused in deep thought for a minute or two. Then he went back inside the house, strapped a belt around his waist, tucked a pair of pistols into it, picked up a strong stick that was leaning in a corner of the hall, and headed off to the Wild Wood at a brisk pace.
It was already getting towards dusk when he reached the first fringe of trees and plunged without hesitation into the wood, looking anxiously on either side for any sign of his friend. Here and there wicked little faces popped out of holes, but vanished immediately at sight of the valorous animal, his pistols, and the great ugly cudgel in his grasp; and the whistling and pattering, which he had heard quite plainly on his first entry, died away and ceased, and all was very still. He made his way manfully through the length of the wood, to its furthest edge; then, forsaking all paths, he set himself [Pg 67] to traverse it, laboriously working over the whole ground, and all the time calling out cheerfully, "Moly, Moly, Moly! Where are you? It's me—it's old Rat!"
It was already getting close to dusk when he reached the first line of trees and plunged right into the woods, anxiously scanning both sides for any sign of his friend. Here and there, mischievous little faces peeked out from holes but disappeared immediately at the sight of the brave animal, his pistols, and the big ugly club in his hand. The whistling and scurrying sounds he had heard clearly when he first entered faded away and stopped, leaving everything very quiet. He made his way steadily through the length of the woods to its farthest edge; then, leaving all paths behind, he decided to cross it, painstakingly covering the entire area, and the whole time cheerfully calling out, "Moly, Moly, Moly! Where are you? It's me—it's old Rat!"
He had patiently hunted through the wood for an hour or more, when at last to his joy he heard a little answering cry. Guiding himself by the sound, he made his way through the gathering darkness to the foot of an old beech tree, with a hole in it, and from out of the hole came a feeble voice, saying "Ratty! Is that really you?"
He had patiently searched through the woods for over an hour when, to his delight, he finally heard a small responding cry. Following the sound, he navigated through the encroaching darkness to the base of an old beech tree, which had a hole in it, and from that hole came a weak voice saying, "Ratty! Is that really you?"
The Rat crept into the hollow, and there he found the Mole, exhausted and still trembling. "O Rat!" he cried, "I've been so frightened, you can't think!"
The Rat snuck into the hollow, and there he found the Mole, worn out and still shaking. "Oh Rat!" he exclaimed, "I’ve been so scared, you can't imagine!"
"O, I quite understand," said the Rat soothingly. "You shouldn't really have gone and done it, Mole. I did my best to keep you from it. We river-bankers, we hardly ever come here by ourselves. If we have to come, we come in couples at least; then we're generally all right. Besides, there are a hundred things one has to know, which we understand all about [Pg 68] and you don't, as yet. I mean passwords, and signs, and sayings which have power and effect, and plants you carry in your pocket, and verses you repeat, and dodges and tricks you practise; all simple enough when you know them, but they've got to be known if you're small, or you'll find yourself in trouble. Of course if you were Badger or Otter, it would be quite another matter."
"Oh, I totally get it," said the Rat in a comforting tone. "You really shouldn't have gone and done that, Mole. I tried my best to stop you. We riverbankers hardly ever come here by ourselves. If we have to come, we at least come in pairs; then we usually do just fine. Besides, there are a hundred things you need to know that we understand but you don’t, not yet. I mean passwords, signs, sayings that have power and meaning, plants you carry in your pocket, verses you recite, and tricks you practice; all pretty simple once you know them, but you need to be aware of them if you're small, or you'll find yourself in a mess. Of course, if you were Badger or Otter, it would be a whole different story."
"Surely the brave Mr. Toad wouldn't mind coming here by himself, would he?" inquired the Mole.
"Surely the brave Mr. Toad wouldn't mind coming here by himself, would he?" asked the Mole.
"Old Toad?" said the Rat, laughing heartily. "He wouldn't show his face here alone, not for a whole hatful of golden guineas, Toad wouldn't."
"Old Toad?" said the Rat, laughing loudly. "He wouldn't dare come here by himself, not for a whole bunch of golden guineas, Toad wouldn't."
The Mole was greatly cheered by the sound of the Rat's careless laughter, as well as by the sight of his stick and his gleaming pistols, and he stopped shivering and began to feel bolder and more himself again.
The Mole felt really uplifted by the sound of the Rat's carefree laughter and by seeing his stick and shiny pistols. He stopped shivering and started to feel braver and more like himself again.
"Now then," said the Rat presently, "we really must pull ourselves together and make a start for home while there's still a little light [Pg 69] left. It will never do to spend the night here, you understand. Too cold, for one thing."
"Alright," the Rat said after a moment, "we really need to get our act together and head home while there's still some light left. We can't stay here for the night, you know. It's too cold, for one thing."
"Dear Ratty," said the poor Mole, "I'm dreadfully sorry, but I'm simply dead beat and that's a solid fact. You must let me rest here a while longer, and get my strength back, if I'm to get home at all."
"Dear Ratty," said the exhausted Mole, "I'm really sorry, but I'm absolutely worn out, and that's the truth. You have to let me rest here a little longer so I can regain my strength, if I'm ever going to make it home."
"O, all right," said the good-natured Rat, "rest away. It's pretty nearly pitch dark now, anyhow; and there ought to be a bit of a moon later."
"Oh, alright," said the good-natured Rat, "take a rest. It's almost completely dark now anyway; and there should be a bit of moonlight later."
So the Mole got well into the dry leaves and stretched himself out, and presently dropped off into sleep, though of a broken and troubled sort; while the Rat covered himself up, too, as best he might, for warmth, and lay patiently waiting, with a pistol in his paw.
So the Mole settled into the dry leaves and stretched out, eventually drifting off to sleep, though it was a restless and disturbed kind of sleep; meanwhile, the Rat wrapped himself up as best as he could for warmth and lay there patiently, holding a pistol in his paw.
When at last the Mole woke up, much refreshed and in his usual spirits, the Rat said, "Now then! I'll just take a look outside and see if everything's quiet, and then we really must be off."
When the Mole finally woke up, feeling refreshed and back to his usual self, the Rat said, "Alright! I'll just check outside to see if everything's calm, and then we really need to get going."
He went to the entrance of their retreat and put his head out. Then the Mole heard him [Pg 70] saying quietly to himself, "Hullo! hullo! here—is—a—go!"
He went to the entrance of their getaway and peeked outside. Then the Mole heard him quietly say to himself, "Hey! hey! here—is—a—go!"
"What's up, Ratty?" asked the Mole.
"What's up, Ratty?" asked the Mole.
"Snow is up," replied the Rat briefly; "or rather, down. It's snowing hard."
"Snow is up," replied the Rat briefly; "or rather, down. It's really coming down."
The Mole came and crouched beside him, and, looking out, saw the wood that had been so dreadful to him in quite a changed aspect. Holes, hollows, pools, pitfalls, and other black menaces to the wayfarer were vanishing fast, and a gleaming carpet of faery was springing up everywhere, that looked too delicate to be trodden upon by rough feet. A fine powder filled the air and caressed the cheek with a tingle in its touch, and the black boles of the trees showed up in a light that seemed to come from below.
The Mole came and crouched beside him, and, looking out, saw the woods that had once terrified him now looked completely different. Holes, hollows, pools, pitfalls, and other dark threats to travelers were quickly disappearing, and a shining carpet of magic was popping up everywhere, looking too fragile to be walked on by rough feet. A fine powder filled the air and brushed against his cheek with a tingling sensation, while the dark trunks of the trees stood out in a light that seemed to come from below.
"Well, well, it can't be helped," said the Rat, after pondering. "We must make a start, and take our chance, I suppose. The worst of it is, I don't exactly know where we are. And now this snow makes everything look so very different."
"Well, it can't be helped," said the Rat, after thinking it over. "We have to get started and take our chances, I guess. The annoying part is, I don't really know where we are. And now this snow makes everything look so different."
It did indeed. The Mole would not have known that it was the same wood. However, [Pg 71] they set out bravely, and took the line that seemed most promising, holding on to each other and pretending with invincible cheerfulness that they recognised an old friend in every fresh tree that grimly and silently greeted them, or saw openings, gaps, or paths with a familiar turn in them, in the monotony of white space and black tree-trunks that refused to vary.
It really did. The Mole wouldn’t have known it was the same woods. However, [Pg 71] they set out bravely and took the path that looked the most promising, sticking together and pretending with unshakeable cheerfulness that they recognized an old friend in every new tree that silently greeted them, or noticed openings, gaps, or paths with a familiar twist in the monotony of white space and black tree trunks that wouldn’t change.
An hour or two later—they had lost all count of time—they pulled up, dispirited, weary, and hopelessly at sea, and sat down on a fallen tree-trunk to recover their breath and consider what was to be done. They were aching with fatigue and bruised with tumbles; they had fallen into several holes and got wet through; the snow was getting so deep that they could hardly drag their little legs through it, and the trees were thicker and more like each other than ever. There seemed to be no end to this wood, and no beginning, and no difference in it, and, worst of all, no way out.
An hour or two later—they had completely lost track of time—they stopped, feeling defeated, exhausted, and utterly lost. They sat down on a fallen tree trunk to catch their breath and think about what to do next. Their bodies were sore from fatigue and bruised from falls; they had stumbled into several holes and were soaked through. The snow was getting so deep that they could barely move their little legs through it, and the trees were denser and looked more alike than ever. It felt like there was no end to this forest, no beginning, no difference between any of it, and, worst of all, no way out.
"We can't sit here very long," said the Rat. "We shall have to make another push for it, and do something or other. The cold is too awful [Pg 72] for anything, and the snow will soon be too deep for us to wade through." He peered about him and considered. "Look here," he went on, "this is what occurs to me. There's a sort of dell down here in front of us, where the ground seems all hilly and humpy and hummocky. We'll make our way down into that, and try and find some sort of shelter, a cave or hole with a dry floor to it, out of the snow and the wind, and there we'll have a good rest before we try again, for we're both of us pretty dead beat. Besides, the snow may leave off, or something may turn up."
"We can't stay here too long," said the Rat. "We’ll need to push on and do something. It's way too cold for anything, and the snow will soon be too deep for us to get through." He looked around thoughtfully. "Here's what I'm thinking: there’s a little valley in front of us where the ground looks uneven and bumpy. Let’s head down there and see if we can find some kind of shelter, maybe a cave or a spot with a dry floor, away from the snow and the wind. We can rest there before we try again because we're both pretty exhausted. Plus, the snow might stop, or something else might happen."
So once more they got on their feet, and struggled down into the dell, where they hunted about for a cave or some corner that was dry and a protection from the keen wind and the whirling snow. They were investigating one of the hummocky bits the Rat had spoken of, when suddenly the Mole tripped up and fell forward on his face with a squeal.
So once again, they got up and made their way down into the hollow, searching for a cave or some dry spot that would shield them from the sharp wind and swirling snow. They were examining one of the lumpy areas the Rat had mentioned when suddenly the Mole stumbled and fell forward onto his face with a squeal.
"O my leg!" he cried. "O my poor shin!" and he sat up on the snow and nursed his leg in both his front paws. [Pg 73]
"Oh, my leg!" he shouted. "Oh, my poor shin!" and he sat up on the snow, cradling his leg in both of his front paws. [Pg 73]
"Poor old Mole!" said the Rat kindly. "You don't seem to be having much luck to-day, do you? Let's have a look at the leg. Yes," he went on, going down on his knees to look, "you've cut your shin, sure enough. Wait till I get at my handkerchief, and I'll tie it up for you."
"Poor Mole!" said the Rat sympathetically. "You really don’t seem to be having much luck today, do you? Let’s take a look at your leg. Yeah," he continued, kneeling down to examine it, "you’ve definitely cut your shin. Just wait until I grab my handkerchief, and I’ll wrap it up for you."
"I must have tripped over a hidden branch or a stump," said the Mole miserably. "O, my! O, my!"
"I must have tripped over some hidden branch or a stump," said the Mole sadly. "Oh, my! Oh, my!"
"It's a very clean cut," said the Rat, examining it again attentively. "That was never done by a branch or a stump. Looks as if it was made by a sharp edge of something in metal. Funny!" He pondered awhile, and examined the humps and slopes that surrounded them.
"It's a really clean cut," said the Rat, looking at it closely again. "That definitely wasn't done by a branch or a stump. It looks like it was made by a sharp edge of something metal. Weird!" He thought for a moment and inspected the bumps and slopes around them.
"Well, never mind what done it," said the Mole, forgetting his grammar in his pain. "It hurts just the same, whatever done it."
"Well, it doesn't matter what caused it," said the Mole, forgetting his grammar in his pain. "It hurts just the same, no matter what caused it."
But the Rat, after carefully tying up the leg with his handkerchief, had left him and was busy scraping in the snow. He scratched and shovelled and explored, all four legs working [Pg 74] busily, while the Mole waited impatiently, remarking at intervals, "O, come on, Rat!"
But the Rat, after carefully wrapping the leg with his handkerchief, had left him and was busy digging in the snow. He scratched and shoveled and explored, all four legs moving energetically, while the Mole waited impatiently, saying every so often, "Oh, come on, Rat!"
Suddenly the Rat cried "Hooray!" and then "Hooray-oo-ray-oo-ray-oo-ray!" and fell to executing a feeble jig in the snow.
Suddenly, the Rat shouted, "Hooray!" and then, "Hooray-oo-ray-oo-ray-oo-ray!" before starting to do a wobbly dance in the snow.
"What have you found, Ratty?" asked the Mole, still nursing his leg.
"What have you found, Ratty?" asked the Mole, still nursing his leg.
"Come and see!" said the delighted Rat, as he jigged on.
"Come and see!" said the excited Rat, as he danced around.
The Mole hobbled up to the spot and had a good look.
The Mole limped over to the spot and took a good look.
"Well," he said at last, slowly, "I see it right enough. Seen the same sort of thing before, lots of times. Familiar object, I call it. A door-scraper! Well, what of it? Why dance jigs around a door-scraper?"
"Well," he said finally, slowly, "I see it clearly. I've seen this kind of thing before, plenty of times. It's a familiar object to me. A door-scraper! So what? Why get all worked up about a door-scraper?"
"But don't you see what it means, you—you dull-witted animal?" cried the Rat impatiently.
"But don't you see what it means, you—you dim-witted creature?" the Rat exclaimed impatiently.
"Of course I see what it means," replied the Mole. "It simply means that some very careless and forgetful person has left his door-scraper lying about in the middle of the Wild Wood, just where it's sure to trip everybody up. Very thoughtless of him, I call it. When I get [Pg 75] home I shall go and complain about it to—to somebody or other, see if I don't!"
"Of course I understand what it means," replied the Mole. "It just means that some really careless and forgetful person has left his door-scraper lying in the middle of the Wild Wood, exactly where it's bound to trip everyone up. Very thoughtless of him, I think. When I get home, I'm going to go and complain about it to—to someone, just watch!" [Pg 75]
"O, dear! O, dear!" cried the Rat, in despair at his obtuseness. "Here, stop arguing and come and scrape!" And he set to work again and made the snow fly in all directions around him.
"O, dear! O, dear!" cried the Rat, frustrated by his own cluelessness. "Stop arguing and come help me scrape!" And he got to work again, sending snow flying in all directions around him.
After some further toil his efforts were rewarded, and a very shabby door-mat lay exposed to view.
After some more hard work, he was rewarded, and a very worn-out doormat was revealed.
"There, what did I tell you?" exclaimed the Rat in great triumph.
"There, what did I tell you?" the Rat exclaimed triumphantly.
"Absolutely nothing whatever," replied the Mole, with perfect truthfulness. "Well, now," he went on, "you seem to have found another piece of domestic litter, done for and thrown away, and I suppose you're perfectly happy. Better go ahead and dance your jig round that if you've got to, and get it over, and then perhaps we can go on and not waste any more time over rubbish-heaps. Can we eat a door-mat? Or sleep under a door-mat? Or sit on a door-mat and sledge home over the snow on it, you exasperating rodent?"
"Absolutely nothing at all," replied the Mole, honestly. "Well, now," he continued, "it looks like you’ve found another piece of junk, all worn out and tossed aside, and I guess you’re quite pleased with that. You might as well go ahead and dance your little jig around it if you need to, and get it over with. Then maybe we can move on and not waste any more time on trash piles. Can we eat a doormat? Or sleep under a doormat? Or sit on a doormat and slide home over the snow on it, you aggravating rodent?"
"Do—you—mean—to—say," cried the [Pg 76] excited Rat, "that this door-mat doesn't tell you anything?"
"Do—you—mean—to—say," cried the [Pg 76] excited Rat, "that this door-mat doesn't tell you anything?"
"Really, Rat," said the Mole, quite pettishly, "I think we've had enough of this folly. Who ever heard of a door-mat telling any one anything? They simply don't do it. They are not that sort at all. Door-mats know their place."
"Honestly, Rat," said the Mole, a little annoyed, "I think we’ve had enough of this nonsense. Who’s ever heard of a doormat telling anyone anything? They just don’t do that. They aren’t like that at all. Doormats know their role."
"Now look here, you—you thick-headed beast," replied the Rat, really angry, "this must stop. Not another word, but scrape—scrape and scratch and dig and hunt round, especially on the sides of the hummocks, if you want to sleep dry and warm to-night, for it's our last chance!"
"Listen up, you thick-headed beast," the Rat replied, genuinely angry, "this has to stop. Not another word, just scrape—scrape and scratch and dig and search around, especially on the sides of the mounds, if you want to sleep dry and warm tonight, because it's our last chance!"
The Rat attacked a snow-bank beside them with ardour, probing with his cudgel everywhere and then digging with fury; and the Mole scraped busily too, more to oblige the Rat than for any other reason, for his opinion was that his friend was getting light-headed.
The Rat energetically charged at a snowbank next to them, poking around with his stick everywhere and then digging with intensity; the Mole also scraped away busily, mostly to help the Rat rather than for any other reason, because he thought his friend was getting a bit carried away.
Some ten minutes' hard work, and the point of the Rat's cudgel struck something that sounded hollow. He worked till he could get a paw through and feel; then called the Mole [Pg 77] to come and help him. Hard at it went the two animals, till at last the result of their labours stood full in view of the astonished and hitherto incredulous Mole.
After about ten minutes of hard work, the Rat's club hit something that sounded empty. He kept going until he managed to get a paw through and feel inside, then called the Mole to come and help him. The two animals worked hard together, and finally, the result of their efforts was right in front of the amazed and previously skeptical Mole. [Pg 77]
In the side of what had seemed to be a snow-bank
stood a solid-looking little door, painted
a dark green. An iron bell-pull hung by the
side, and below it, on a small brass plate, neatly
engraved in square capital letters, they could
read by the aid of moonlight
In what seemed to be a snowbank stood a sturdy little door, painted dark green. An iron bell pull hung beside it, and below that, on a small brass plate, neatly engraved in square capital letters, they could read by the light of the moon.
The Mole fell backwards on the snow from
sheer surprise and delight. "Rat!" he cried in
penitence, "you're a wonder! A real wonder,
that's what you are. I see it all now! You
argued it out, step by step, in that wise head of
yours, from the very moment that I fell and
cut my shin, and you looked at the cut, and at
once your majestic mind said to itself, 'Door-scraper!'
And then you turned to and found
the very door-scraper that done it! Did you
stop there? No. Some people would have been
quite satisfied; but not you. Your intellect
[Pg 78]
went on working. 'Let me only just find a
door-mat,' says you to yourself, 'and my
theory is proved!' And of course you found
your door-mat. You're so clever, I believe you
could find anything you liked. 'Now,' says
you, 'that door exists, as plain as if I saw it.
There's nothing else remains to be done but to
find it!' Well, I've read about that sort of
thing in books, but I've never come across it
before in real life. You ought to go where
you'll be properly appreciated. You're simply
wasted here, among us fellows. If I only had
your head, Ratty—"
The Mole fell backward in the snow from pure surprise and joy. "Rat!" he exclaimed in a moment of realization, "you're amazing! A real genius, that’s what you are. I see it all now! You figured it out, step by step, in that smart head of yours, from the moment I fell and scraped my shin, and you looked at the cut, and right away your brilliant mind said to itself, 'Door-scraper!' And then you got to work and found the exact door-scraper that did it! Did you stop there? No. Some people would have been completely satisfied; but not you. Your mind kept going. 'If I just find a door-mat,' you said to yourself, 'my theory will be proven!' And of course, you found your door-mat. You're so clever, I bet you could find anything you wanted. 'Now,' you said, 'that door exists, as clearly as if I could see it. The only thing left to do is find it!' Well, I've read about that kind of thing in books, but I’ve never seen it happen in real life. You should go where people will truly appreciate you. You're just wasting your talent here, among us guys. If only I had your brains, Ratty—"
"But as you haven't," interrupted the Rat, rather unkindly, "I suppose you're going to sit on the snow all night and talk? Get up at once and hang on to that bell-pull you see there, and ring hard, as hard as you can, while I hammer!"
"But since you haven't," interrupted the Rat, rather unkindly, "I guess you're planning to sit in the snow all night and talk? Get up right now and grab that bell-pull you see over there, and ring it hard, as hard as you can, while I hammer!"
While the Rat attacked the door with his stick, the Mole sprang up at the bell-pull, clutched it and swung there, both feet well off the ground, and from quite a long way off they could faintly hear a deep-toned bell respond. [Pg 79]
While the Rat pounded on the door with his stick, the Mole jumped up at the bell-pull, grabbed it, and hung there, both feet lifted off the ground. From quite a distance away, they could faintly hear a low, deep bell ringing in response. [Pg 79]
THEY waited patiently for what seemed a very long time, stamping in the snow to keep their feet warm. At last they heard the sound of slow shuffling footsteps approaching the door from the inside. It seemed, as the Mole remarked to the Rat, like some one walking in carpet slippers that were too large for him and down at heel; which was intelligent of Mole, because that was exactly what it was.
THEY waited patiently for what felt like a long time, stamping in the snow to keep their feet warm. Finally, they heard the sound of slow, shuffling footsteps coming toward the door from inside. It seemed, as the Mole pointed out to the Rat, like someone walking in oversized carpet slippers that were worn out; which was smart of Mole, because that was exactly what it was.
There was the noise of a bolt shot back, and the door opened a few inches, enough to show a long snout and a pair of sleepy blinking eyes.
There was the sound of a bolt sliding back, and the door opened a few inches, just enough to reveal a long snout and a pair of sleepy, blinking eyes.
"Now, the very next time this happens," said a gruff and suspicious voice, "I shall be exceedingly angry. Who is it this time, disturbing people on such a night? Speak up!"
"Now, the very next time this happens," said a rough and wary voice, "I'm going to be really angry. Who is it this time, bothering people on a night like this? Speak up!"
"Oh, Badger," cried the Rat, "let us in, [Pg 82] please. It's me, Rat, and my friend Mole, and we've lost our way in the snow."
"Oh, Badger," shouted the Rat, "let us in, [Pg 82] please. It's me, Rat, and my friend Mole, and we've gotten lost in the snow."
"What, Ratty, my dear little man!" exclaimed the Badger, in quite a different voice. "Come along in, both of you, at once. Why, you must be perished. Well, I never! Lost in the snow! And in the Wild Wood, too, and at this time of night! But come in with you."
"What’s wrong, Ratty, my dear little man!" said the Badger in a completely different tone. "Come inside, both of you, right now. You must be freezing. I can’t believe it! Lost in the snow! And in the Wild Wood at this time of night! But come in with you."
The two animals tumbled over each other in their eagerness to get inside, and heard the door shut behind them with great joy and relief.
The two animals rolled over each other in their excitement to get inside, and they heard the door close behind them with immense joy and relief.
The Badger, who wore a long dressing-gown, and whose slippers were indeed very down at heel, carried a flat candlestick in his paw and had probably been on his way to bed when their summons sounded. He looked kindly down on them and patted both their heads. "This is not the sort of night for small animals to be out," he said paternally. "I'm afraid you've been up to some of your pranks again, Ratty. But come along; come into the kitchen. There's a first-rate fire there, and supper and everything."
The Badger, dressed in a long robe and worn-out slippers, held a flat candlestick in his paw and had likely been heading to bed when he heard their call. He looked down at them kindly and patted both their heads. "This isn’t the kind of night for small animals to be out," he said in a fatherly tone. "I’m afraid you’ve been getting into mischief again, Ratty. But come on; let’s go into the kitchen. There’s a great fire there, and supper and all that."
He shuffled on in front of them, carrying [Pg 83] the light, and they followed him, nudging each other in an anticipating sort of way, down a long, gloomy, and, to tell the truth, decidedly shabby passage, into a sort of a central hall, out of which they could dimly see other long tunnel-like passages branching, passages mysterious and without apparent end. But there were doors in the hall as well—stout oaken, comfortable-looking doors. One of these the Badger flung open, and at once they found themselves in all the glow and warmth of a large fire-lit kitchen.
He shuffled in front of them, carrying [Pg 83] the light, and they followed him, nudging each other eagerly, down a long, dreary, and honestly pretty shabby passage, into a sort of central hall, where they could faintly see other long, tunnel-like passages branching off, mysterious passages that seemed to go on forever. But there were doors in the hall too—solid oak, inviting-looking doors. One of these the Badger flung open, and they instantly found themselves in the warm glow of a large fire-lit kitchen.
The floor was well-worn red brick, and on the wide hearth burnt a fire of logs, between two attractive chimney-corners tucked away in the wall, well out of any suspicion of draught. A couple of high-backed settles, facing each other on either side of the fire, gave further sitting accommodations for the sociably disposed. In the middle of the room stood a long table of plain boards placed on trestles, with benches down each side. At one end of it, where an arm-chair stood pushed back, were spread the remains of the Badger's plain but ample [Pg 84] supper. Rows of spotless plates winked from the shelves of the dresser at the far end of the room, and from the rafters overhead hung hams, bundles of dried herbs, nets of onions, and baskets of eggs. It seemed a place where heroes could fitly feast after victory, where weary harvesters could line up in scores along the table and keep their Harvest Home with mirth and song, or where two or three friends of simple tastes could sit about as they pleased and eat and smoke and talk in comfort and contentment. The ruddy brick floor smiled up at the smoky ceiling; the oaken settles, shiny with long wear, exchanged cheerful glances with each other; plates on the dresser grinned at pots on the shelf, and the merry firelight flickered and played over everything without distinction.
The floor was made of worn red bricks, and a fire crackled with logs on the wide hearth, tucked away between two charming corners of the wall, completely free from any draft. A couple of high-backed benches faced each other on either side of the fire, providing more seating for those who wanted to socialize. In the center of the room was a long table made of plain boards resting on trestles, with benches along each side. At one end, where an armchair was pushed back, lay the leftovers from the Badger's simple but generous supper. Rows of spotless plates sparkled from the shelves of the dresser at the far end of the room, and hams, bundles of dried herbs, nets of onions, and baskets of eggs hung from the rafters above. It felt like a place where heroes could celebrate after a victory, where tired harvesters could gather along the table to enjoy their Harvest Home with laughter and song, or where a few friends with simple tastes could sit around, eating, smoking, and chatting in comfort and contentment. The warm brick floor seemed to smile up at the smoky ceiling; the oak benches, polished from years of use, exchanged joyful looks; plates on the dresser grinned at pots on the shelf, and the cheerful firelight flickered and danced over everything without discrimination.
The kindly Badger thrust them down on a settle to toast themselves at the fire, and bade them remove their wet coats and boots. Then he fetched them dressing-gowns and slippers, and himself bathed the Mole's shin with warm water and mended the cut with sticking-plaster, [Pg 85] till the whole thing was just as good as new, if not better. In the embracing light and warmth, warm and dry at last, with weary legs propped up in front of them, and a suggestive clink of plates being arranged on the table behind, it seemed to the storm-driven animals, now in safe anchorage, that the cold and trackless Wild Wood just left outside was miles and miles away, and all that they had suffered in it a half-forgotten dream.
The friendly Badger helped them onto a couch to warm up by the fire and asked them to take off their wet coats and boots. Then, he brought them bathrobes and slippers, and he personally cleaned the Mole's scraped leg with warm water and patched it up with a band-aid, making it as good as new, if not better. In the comforting light and warmth, finally warm and dry with tired legs propped up in front of them, and the sound of plates being set up on the table behind them, it felt to the storm-tossed animals, now safe and settled, that the cold and endless Wild Wood outside was far away, and all the struggles they faced in it seemed like a distant memory.
When at last they were thoroughly toasted, the Badger summoned them to the table, where he had been busy laying a repast. They had felt pretty hungry before, but when they actually saw at last the supper that was spread for them, really it seemed only a question of what they should attack first where all was so attractive, and whether the other things would obligingly wait for them till they had time to give them attention. Conversation was impossible for a long time; and when it was slowly resumed, it was that regrettable sort of conversation that results from talking with your mouth full. The Badger did not mind that sort of thing at all, [Pg 86] nor did he take any notice of elbows on the table, or everybody speaking at once. As he did not go into Society himself, he had got an idea that these things belonged to the things that didn't really matter. (We know of course that he was wrong, and took too narrow a view; because they do matter very much, though it would take too long to explain why.) He sat in his arm-chair at the head of the table, and nodded gravely at intervals as the animals told their story; and he did not seem surprised or shocked at anything, and he never said, "I told you so," or, "Just what I always said," or remarked that they ought to have done so-and-so, or ought not to have done something else. The Mole began to feel very friendly towards him.
When they were finally well-fed, the Badger called them to the table, where he had been setting up a meal. They had been quite hungry before, but when they finally saw the spread laid out for them, it was really just a matter of deciding what to dig into first since everything looked so appealing, and whether the other dishes would patiently wait for their attention. For a long time, conversation was impossible; and when it gradually started up again, it was that awkward kind of chatter that happens when people talk with their mouths full. The Badger didn’t mind this at all, nor did he notice elbows on the table or everyone talking at the same time. Since he didn’t socialize much, he had the impression that these things didn’t really matter. (We know he was mistaken and had a too narrow perspective, because they do matter a lot, though it would take a while to explain why.) He sat in his armchair at the head of the table, nodding seriously now and then as the animals shared their stories; he didn’t seem surprised or shocked by anything, and he never said, "I told you so," or "Just what I always said," or suggested they should have done this or that, or not done something else. The Mole started to feel very friendly towards him.
When supper was really finished at last, and each animal felt that his skin was now as tight as was decently safe, and that by this time he didn't care a hang for anybody or anything, they gathered round the glowing embers of the great wood fire, and thought how jolly it was to be sitting up so late, and so independent, and so full; and after they had chatted for a time [Pg 87] about things in general, the Badger said heartily, "Now then! tell us the news from your part of the world. How's old Toad going on?"
When dinner finally wrapped up, and each animal felt their skin was as tight as it could comfortably be, and at that point they couldn’t care less about anyone or anything, they gathered around the glowing embers of the big wood fire and thought about how great it was to be up so late, so independent, and so full. After chatting for a while [Pg 87], the Badger said cheerfully, "Alright! Tell us the latest from your part of the world. How's old Toad doing?"
"Oh, from bad to worse," said the Rat gravely, while the Mole, cocked up on a settle and basking in the firelight, his heels higher than his head, tried to look properly mournful. "Another smash-up only last week, and a bad one. You see, he will insist on driving himself, and he's hopelessly incapable. If he'd only employ a decent, steady, well-trained animal, pay him good wages, and leave everything to him, he'd get on all right. But no; he's convinced he's a heaven-born driver, and nobody can teach him anything; and all the rest follows."
"Oh, it just keeps getting worse," said the Rat seriously, while the Mole, lounging on a seat and soaking up the warmth of the firelight, with his feet propped up higher than his head, tried to look genuinely sad. "There was another crash just last week, and it was a bad one. You see, he insists on driving himself, and he’s completely clueless. If he would just hire a reliable, well-trained animal, pay him decent wages, and let him handle everything, he’d be fine. But no; he thinks he’s a natural-born driver and that no one can teach him anything; and then all the trouble follows."
"How many has he had?" inquired the Badger gloomily.
"How many has he had?" the Badger asked darkly.
"Smashes, or machines?" asked the Rat. "Oh, well, after all, it's the same thing—with Toad. This is the seventh. As for the others—you know that coach-house of his? Well, it's piled up—literally piled up to the roof—with fragments of motor-cars, none of them bigger than your hat! That accounts for the [Pg 88] other six—so far as they can be accounted for."
"Smashes or machines?" the Rat asked. "Oh, it's all the same with Toad. This is the seventh one. As for the others—you know that coach house of his? It's literally stacked to the roof with pieces of cars, none of them bigger than your hat! That explains the other six, as much as they can be explained." [Pg 88]
"He's been in hospital three times," put in the Mole; "and as for the fines he's had to pay, it's simply awful to think of."
"He's been in the hospital three times," said the Mole; "and the fines he's had to pay are just awful to think about."
"Yes, and that's part of the trouble," continued the Rat. "Toad's rich, we all know; but he's not a millionaire. And he's a hopelessly bad driver, and quite regardless of law and order. Killed or ruined—it's got to be one of the two things, sooner or later. Badger! we're his friends—oughtn't we to do something?"
"Yeah, and that’s part of the problem," the Rat continued. "Toad's wealthy, we all know that; but he's not a millionaire. And he's a terrible driver, completely ignoring the law. It's going to end badly—either someone will get hurt or something will get destroyed, sooner or later. Badger! We’re his friends—shouldn't we do something?"
The Badger went through a bit of hard thinking. "Now look here!" he said at last, rather severely; "of course you know I can't do anything now?"
The Badger did some serious thinking. "Now listen!" he said finally, a bit sternly; "you know I can't do anything now?"
His two friends assented, quite understanding his point. No animal, according to the rules of animal etiquette, is ever expected to do anything strenuous, or heroic, or even moderately active during the off-season of winter. All are sleepy—some actually asleep. All are weather-bound, more or less; and all are resting from arduous days and nights, during which every [Pg 89] muscle in them has been severely tested, and every energy kept at full stretch.
His two friends agreed, fully grasping his point. No animal, according to the rules of animal etiquette, is ever expected to do anything strenuous, heroic, or even moderately active during the winter off-season. Everyone is sleepy—some are even asleep. All are somewhat stuck due to the weather, and all are taking a break after tough days and nights, when every muscle in them has been put to the test, and all their energy was stretched to the limit. [Pg 89]
"Very well then!" continued the Badger. "But, when once the year has really turned, and the nights are shorter, and half-way through them one rouses and feels fidgety and wanting to be up and doing by sunrise, if not before—you know!—"
"Alright then!" the Badger continued. "But, once the year has truly changed, and the nights are shorter, and halfway through them you wake up feeling restless and eager to get moving by sunrise, if not earlier—you know!"
Both animals nodded gravely. They knew!
Both animals nodded seriously. They knew!
"Well, then," went on the Badger, "we—that is, you and me and our friend the Mole here—we'll take Toad seriously in hand. We'll stand no nonsense whatever. We'll bring him back to reason, by force if need be. We'll make him be a sensible Toad. We'll—you're asleep, Rat!"
"Well, then," continued the Badger, "we—that is, you, me, and our friend the Mole here—we're going to take Toad seriously. We won't put up with any nonsense. We'll get him to think straight, even if we have to be forceful about it. We'll make him a sensible Toad. We'll—you're asleep, Rat!"
"Not me!" said the Rat, waking up with a jerk.
"Not me!" said the Rat, waking up suddenly.
"He's been asleep two or three times since supper," said the Mole, laughing. He himself was feeling quite wakeful and even lively, though he didn't know why. The reason was, of course, that he being naturally an underground animal by birth and breeding, the situation [Pg 90] of Badger's house exactly suited him and made him feel at home; while the Rat, who slept every night in a bedroom the windows of which opened on a breezy river, naturally felt the atmosphere still and oppressive.
"He's fallen asleep two or three times since dinner," said the Mole with a laugh. He himself felt quite alert and even energetic, though he wasn't sure why. The reason was that, being naturally an underground animal by birth and upbringing, the setting of Badger's house was perfect for him and made him feel at home; while the Rat, who slept every night in a bedroom with windows that opened onto a breezy river, naturally found the atmosphere still and stifling. [Pg 90]
"Well, it's time we were all in bed," said the Badger, getting up and fetching flat candlesticks. "Come along, you two, and I'll show you your quarters. And take your time to-morrow morning—breakfast at any hour you please!"
"Well, it's time for all of us to head to bed," said the Badger, getting up and grabbing flat candlesticks. "Come on, you two, and I'll show you where you'll be staying. And take your time in the morning—breakfast is whenever you want!"
He conducted the two animals to a long room that seemed half bedchamber and half loft. The Badger's winter stores, which indeed were visible everywhere, took up half the room—piles of apples, turnips, and potatoes, baskets full of nuts, and jars of honey; but the two little white beds on the remainder of the floor looked soft and inviting, and the linen on them, though coarse, was clean and smelt beautifully of lavender; and the Mole and the Water Rat, shaking off their garments in some thirty seconds, tumbled in between the sheets in great joy and contentment. [Pg 91]
He led the two animals into a long room that felt like a mix between a bedroom and an attic. The Badger's winter supplies, which were clearly everywhere, filled up half the room—stacks of apples, turnips, and potatoes, baskets full of nuts, and jars of honey; but the two little white beds on the other half of the floor looked cozy and inviting, and the linen on them, though rough, was clean and had a lovely lavender scent; and the Mole and the Water Rat, quickly shaking off their clothes in about thirty seconds, joyfully tumbled into the sheets, feeling very content. [Pg 91]
In accordance with the kindly Badger's injunctions, the two tired animals came down to breakfast very late next morning, and found a bright fire burning in the kitchen, and two young hedgehogs sitting on a bench at the table, eating oatmeal porridge out of wooden bowls. The hedgehogs dropped their spoons, rose to their feet, and ducked their heads respectfully as the two entered.
Following the kind Badger's instructions, the two tired animals came down for breakfast very late the next morning and found a bright fire burning in the kitchen, with two young hedgehogs sitting on a bench at the table, eating oatmeal porridge from wooden bowls. The hedgehogs dropped their spoons, got up, and bowed their heads respectfully as the two entered.
"There, sit down, sit down," said the Rat pleasantly, "and go on with your porridge. Where have you youngsters come from? Lost your way in the snow, I suppose?"
"There, take a seat, take a seat," said the Rat warmly, "and keep eating your porridge. Where did you kids come from? Got lost in the snow, I guess?"
"Yes, please, sir," said the elder of the two hedgehogs respectfully. "Me and little Billy here, we was trying to find our way to school—mother would have us go, was the weather ever so—and of course we lost ourselves, sir, and Billy he got frightened and took and cried, being young and faint-hearted. And at last we happened up against Mr. Badger's back door, and made so bold as to knock, sir, for Mr. Badger he's a kind-hearted gentleman, as every one knows—" [Pg 92]
"Yes, please, sir," said the older of the two hedgehogs politely. "Little Billy and I were trying to find our way to school—our mother insisted we go, despite the weather—and of course we got lost, sir, and Billy got scared and started crying, being young and timid. Finally, we ended up at Mr. Badger's back door, and we took the chance to knock, sir, because Mr. Badger is a kindhearted gentleman, as everyone knows—" [Pg 92]
"I understand," said the Rat, cutting himself some rashers from a side of bacon, while the Mole dropped some eggs into a saucepan. "And what's the weather like outside? You needn't 'sir' me quite so much," he added.
"I get it," said the Rat, slicing off some pieces from a side of bacon, while the Mole dropped some eggs into a saucepan. "And what's the weather like outside? You don’t have to 'sir' me so much," he added.
"O, terrible bad, sir, terrible deep the snow is," said the hedgehog. "No getting out for the likes of you gentlemen to-day."
"Oh, this is really bad, sir, the snow is really deep," said the hedgehog. "You gentlemen won't be getting out today."
"Where's Mr. Badger?" inquired the Mole as he warmed the coffee-pot before the fire.
"Where’s Mr. Badger?" asked the Mole as he warmed the coffee pot by the fire.
"The master's gone into his study, sir," replied the hedgehog, "and he said as how he was going to be particular busy this morning, and on no account was he to be disturbed."
"The master's gone into his study, sir," replied the hedgehog, "and he said he was going to be particularly busy this morning, and under no circumstances should he be disturbed."
This explanation, of course, was thoroughly understood by every one present. The fact is, as already set forth, when you live a life of intense activity for six months in the year, and of comparative or actual somnolence for the other six, during the latter period you cannot be continually pleading sleepiness when there are people about or things to be done. The excuse gets monotonous. The animals well knew that Badger, having eaten a hearty breakfast, [Pg 93] had retired to his study and settled himself in an arm-chair with his legs up on another and a red cotton handkerchief over his face, and was being "busy" in the usual way at this time of the year.
This explanation was clearly understood by everyone present. The truth is, as already mentioned, when you lead a life of intense activity for six months of the year and spend the other six in relative or complete inactivity, during the latter period, you can't keep claiming you're sleepy when there are people around or tasks to tackle. The excuse becomes repetitive. The animals knew well that Badger, after having a big breakfast, had gone to his study, settled into an armchair with his legs up on another chair, a red cotton handkerchief over his face, and was being "busy" in the usual way for this time of year.
The front-door bell clanged loudly, and the Rat, who was very greasy with buttered toast, sent Billy, the smaller hedgehog, to see who it might be. There was a sound of much stamping in the hall, and presently Billy returned in front of the Otter, who threw himself on the Rat with an embrace and a shout of affectionate greeting.
The front door bell rang loudly, and the Rat, who was pretty greasy from buttered toast, sent Billy, the smaller hedgehog, to check who it was. There was a lot of stomping in the hall, and soon Billy came back with the Otter, who threw himself at the Rat with a hug and a cheerful shout of greeting.
"Get off!" spluttered the Rat, with his mouth full.
"Get off!" the Rat sputtered, his mouth full.
"Thought I should find you here all right," said the Otter cheerfully. "They were all in a great state of alarm along River Bank when I arrived this morning. Rat never been home all night—nor Mole either—something dreadful must have happened, they said; and the snow had covered up all your tracks, of course. But I knew that when people were in any fix they mostly went to Badger, or else Badger got to [Pg 94] know of it somehow, so I came straight off here, through the Wild Wood and the snow! My! it was fine, coming through the snow as the red sun was rising and showing against the black tree-trunks! As you went along in the stillness, every now and then masses of snow slid off the branches suddenly with a flop! making you jump and run for cover. Snow-castles and snow-caverns had sprung up out of nowhere in the night—and snow bridges, terraces, ramparts—I could have stayed and played with them for hours. Here and there great branches had been torn away by the sheer weight of the snow, and robins perched and hopped on them in their perky conceited way, just as if they had done it themselves. A ragged string of wild geese passed overhead, high on the grey sky, and a few rooks whirled over the trees, inspected, and flapped off homewards with a disgusted expression; but I met no sensible being to ask the news of. About half-way across I came on a rabbit sitting on a stump, cleaning his silly face with his paws. He was a pretty scared animal when I crept up behind him and placed a heavy [Pg 95] fore-paw on his shoulder. I had to cuff his head once or twice to get any sense out of it at all. At last I managed to extract from him that Mole had been seen in the Wild Wood last night by one of them. It was the talk of the burrows, he said, how Mole, Mr. Rat's particular friend, was in a bad fix; how he had lost his way, and 'They' were up and out hunting, and were chivvying him round and round. 'Then why didn't any of you do something?' I asked. 'You mayn't be blessed with brains, but there are hundreds and hundreds of you, big, stout fellows, as fat as butter, and your burrows running in all directions, and you could have taken him in and made him safe and comfortable, or tried to, at all events.' 'What, us?' he merely said: 'do something? us rabbits?' So I cuffed him again and left him. There was nothing else to be done. At any rate, I had learnt something; and if I had had the luck to meet any of 'Them' I'd have learnt something more—or they would."
"Thought I'd find you here," the Otter said cheerfully. "Everyone along River Bank was in a panic when I got here this morning. Rat hadn't come home all night—nor had Mole—so they figured something terrible had happened. And the snow had covered all your tracks, of course. But I figured when people are in trouble, they usually go to Badger, or Badger finds out somehow, so I came straight here through the Wild Wood and the snow! Wow! It was amazing, walking through the snow as the red sun was rising, lighting up the black tree trunks! In the quiet, every now and then, big clumps of snow would suddenly slide off the branches with a flop! It made you jump and run for cover. Snow castles and snow caves appeared out of nowhere overnight—and snow bridges, terraces, ramparts—I could have stayed and played in them for hours. Here and there, huge branches had fallen under the weight of the snow, and robins perched and hopped on them, acting all proud like they did it themselves. A ragged line of wild geese flew overhead in the gray sky, and a few rooks circled over the trees, checked things out, and flew home looking disgusted; but I didn't see anyone sensible to ask for news. About halfway across, I found a rabbit sitting on a stump, cleaning his silly face with his paws. He was pretty scared when I crept up behind him and put a heavy paw on his shoulder. I had to thump his head a couple of times to get any sense out of him. Finally, I managed to get him to say that Mole had been spotted in the Wild Wood last night by one of them. It was the talk of the burrows, he said, how Mole, Mr. Rat's good friend, was in serious trouble; how he had lost his way, and 'They' were out hunting him, chasing him around. 'Then why didn't any of you do something?' I asked. 'You might not be the brightest, but there are hundreds of you, big, stout fellows, as fat as butter, and your burrows go in all directions. You could have taken him in and kept him safe and comfortable, or at least tried.' 'What, us?' he replied. 'Do something? Us rabbits?' So I thumped him again and left. There was nothing more I could do. At least I learned something, and if I'd been lucky enough to meet any of 'Them,' I would have learned more—or they would have."

"Weren't you at all—er—nervous?" asked the Mole, some of yesterday's terror coming [Pg 96] back to him at the mention of the Wild Wood.
"Were you not even a little—uh—nervous?" asked the Mole, feeling some of yesterday's fear returning to him at the mention of the Wild Wood. [Pg 96]
"Nervous?" The Otter showed a gleaming set of strong white teeth as he laughed. "I'd give 'em nerves if any of them tried anything on with me. Here, Mole, fry me some slices of ham, like the good little chap you are. I'm frightfully hungry, and I've got any amount to say to Ratty here. Haven't seen him for an age."
“Nervous?” The Otter flashed a big grin with his strong white teeth as he laughed. “I’d show them what nerves are if any of them tried anything with me. Now, Mole, fry me some slices of ham, like the good little guy you are. I’m really hungry, and I’ve got so much to catch up on with Ratty here. Haven’t seen him in forever.”
So the good-natured Mole, having cut some slices of ham, set the hedgehogs to fry it, and returned to his own breakfast, while the Otter and the Rat, their heads together, eagerly talked river-shop, which is long shop and talk that is endless, running on like the babbling river itself.
So the kind-hearted Mole, having sliced some ham, got the hedgehogs to fry it and went back to his own breakfast, while the Otter and the Rat, huddled together, excitedly discussed river-related stuff, which is a never-ending conversation that flows on like the babbling river itself.
A plate of fried ham had just been cleared and sent back for more, when the Badger entered, yawning and rubbing his eyes, and greeted them all in his quiet, simple way, with kind inquiries for every one. "It must be getting on for luncheon time," he remarked to the Otter. "Better stop and have it with us. You must be hungry, this cold morning." [Pg 97]
A plate of fried ham had just been cleared and sent back for more when the Badger entered, yawning and rubbing his eyes, and greeted everyone in his calm, straightforward manner, asking how they were all doing. "It must be getting close to lunchtime," he said to the Otter. "You should stick around and have it with us. You must be hungry on this chilly morning." [Pg 97]
"Rather!" replied the Otter, winking at the Mole. "The sight of these greedy young hedgehogs stuffing themselves with fried ham makes me feel positively famished."
"Absolutely!" replied the Otter, winking at the Mole. "Watching these greedy young hedgehogs gorging on fried ham makes me feel incredibly hungry."
The hedgehogs, who were just beginning to feel hungry again after their porridge, and after working so hard at their frying, looked timidly up at Mr. Badger, but were too shy to say anything.
The hedgehogs, who were just starting to feel hungry again after their porridge and after working so hard at their frying, looked nervously up at Mr. Badger but were too shy to speak.
"Here, you two youngsters, be off home to your mother," said the Badger kindly. "I'll send some one with you to show you the way. You won't want any dinner to-day, I'll be bound."
"Alright, you two young ones, head home to your mom," said the Badger kindly. "I'll send someone with you to show you the way. I bet you won't want any dinner today."
He gave them sixpence a-piece and a pat on the head, and they went off with much respectful swinging of caps and touching of forelocks.
He gave them sixpence each and a pat on the head, and they left with a lot of respectful cap swinging and touching their forelocks.
Presently they all sat down to luncheon together. The Mole found himself placed next to Mr. Badger, and, as the other two were still deep in river-gossip from which nothing could divert them, he took the opportunity to tell Badger how comfortable and home-like it all [Pg 98] felt to him. "Once well underground," he said, "you know exactly where you are. Nothing can happen to you, and nothing can get at you. You're entirely your own master, and you don't have to consult anybody or mind what they say. Things go on all the same overhead, and you let 'em, and don't bother about 'em. When you want to, up you go, and there the things are, waiting for you."
Right now, they all sat down to lunch together. The Mole found himself sitting next to Mr. Badger, and since the other two were still caught up in their river stories, which nothing could distract them from, he took the chance to tell Badger how cozy and homey it all felt to him. "Once you're well underground," he said, "you know exactly where you are. Nothing can hurt you, and nothing can get to you. You're completely in charge, and you don't have to check with anyone or care about what they think. Things keep happening up above, and you just let them be and don’t worry about them. When you want to, you can go up, and there everything is, waiting for you."
The Badger simply beamed on him. "That's exactly what I say," he replied. "There's no security, or peace and tranquillity, except underground. And then, if your ideas get larger and you want to expand—why, a dig and a scrape, and there you are! If you feel your house is a bit too big, you stop up a hole or two, and there you are again! No builders, no tradesmen, no remarks passed on you by fellows looking over your wall, and, above all, no weather. Look at Rat, now. A couple of feet of flood water, and he's got to move into hired lodgings; uncomfortable, inconveniently situated, and horribly expensive. Take Toad. I say nothing against Toad Hall; quite the best house [Pg 99] in these parts, as a house. But supposing a fire breaks out—where's Toad? Supposing tiles are blown off, or walls sink or crack, or windows get broken—where's Toad? Supposing the rooms are draughty—I hate a draught myself—where's Toad? No, up and out of doors is good enough to roam about and get one's living in; but underground to come back to at last—that's my idea of home!"
The Badger just smiled at him. "That's exactly what I think," he said. "There's no security or peace and quiet except underground. And then, if your ideas grow and you want to expand—just dig and scrape, and you’re all set! If you feel your place is a bit too big, you just block up a hole or two, and you're good to go! No builders, no tradespeople, no comments from people looking over your fence, and, most importantly, no weather. Look at Rat, for example. A couple of feet of floodwater, and he has to move into rented lodgings; uncomfortable, poorly located, and ridiculously expensive. As for Toad, I have nothing against Toad Hall; it’s the best house around here, as a house. But what happens if there's a fire—where does Toad go? If tiles are blown off, or if walls sink or crack, or if windows break—where does Toad go? If the rooms are drafty—I can’t stand a draft myself—where’s Toad? No, being outdoors is fine for wandering and making a living; but having a place underground to come back to in the end—that's my idea of home!"
The Mole assented heartily; and the Badger in consequence got very friendly with him. "When lunch is over," he said, "I'll take you all round this little place of mine. I can see you'll appreciate it. You understand what domestic architecture ought to be, you do."
The Mole agreed enthusiastically, and because of that, the Badger became quite friendly with him. "Once lunch is done," he said, "I'll show you around my little place. I can tell you'll appreciate it. You know what a home should really be like."
After luncheon, accordingly, when the other two had settled themselves into the chimney-corner and had started a heated argument on the subject of eels, the Badger lighted a lantern and bade the Mole follow him. Crossing the hall, they passed down one of the principal tunnels, and the wavering light of the lantern gave glimpses on either side of rooms both large and small, some mere cupboards, others [Pg 100] nearly as broad and imposing as Toad's dining-hall. A narrow passage at right angles led them into another corridor, and here the same thing was repeated. The Mole was staggered at the size, the extent, the ramifications of it all; at the length of the dim passages, the solid vaultings of the crammed store-chambers, the masonry everywhere, the pillars, the arches, the pavements. "How on earth, Badger," he said at last, "did you ever find time and strength to do all this? It's astonishing!"
After lunch, once the other two had settled into the fireplace and started a heated debate about eels, the Badger lit a lantern and told the Mole to follow him. They crossed the hall and walked down one of the main tunnels, the flickering light of the lantern revealing rooms on both sides, some just small cupboards, others almost as wide and grand as Toad's dining room. A narrow passage at a right angle led them into another corridor, and the same scenes repeated. The Mole was amazed by the size, the scale, and the complexity of it all; the length of the dim passages, the solid ceilings of the packed storage rooms, the masonry everywhere, the pillars, the arches, the floors. "How on earth, Badger," he finally asked, "did you ever find the time and energy to do all this? It's incredible!"
"It would be astonishing indeed," said the Badger simply, "if I had done it. But as a matter of fact I did none of it—only cleaned out the passages and chambers, as far as I had need of them. There's lots more of it, all round about. I see you don't understand, and I must explain it to you. Well, very long ago, on the spot where the Wild Wood waves now, before ever it had planted itself and grown up to what it now is, there was a city—a city of people, you know. Here, where we are standing, they lived, and walked, and talked, and slept, and carried on their business. Here they stabled [Pg 101] their horses and feasted, from here they rode out to fight or drove out to trade. They were a powerful people, and rich, and great builders. They built to last, for they thought their city would last for ever."
"It would be pretty surprising," said the Badger simply, "if I had done it. But actually, I did none of that—just cleaned out the passages and rooms, as far as I needed them. There's plenty more around. I see you don't get it, so I need to explain. A long time ago, where the Wild Wood stands now, before it established itself and grew into what it is today, there was a city—a city of people, you know. Right here, where we are, they lived, walked, talked, slept, and conducted their business. They stabled their horses and feasted here; from here they went out to fight or traveled to trade. They were a powerful people, wealthy and great builders. They built to last because they believed their city would stand forever."
"But what has become of them all?" asked the Mole.
"But what happened to all of them?" asked the Mole.
"Who can tell?" said the Badger. "People come—they stay for a while, they flourish, they build—and they go. It is their way. But we remain. There were badgers here, I've been told, long before that same city ever came to be. And now there are badgers here again. We are an enduring lot, and we may move out for a time, but we wait, and are patient, and back we come. And so it will ever be."
"Who knows?" said the Badger. "People come—they stick around for a bit, they thrive, they create—and then they leave. That's just how it is. But we stay. I've heard there were badgers here long before that city even existed. And now there are badgers here again. We're a resilient bunch; we might move away for a while, but we wait, we’re patient, and then we return. That’s just how it will always be."
"Well, and when they went at last, those people?" said the Mole.
"Well, what happened when those people finally left?" asked the Mole.
"When they went," continued the Badger, "the strong winds and persistent rains took the matter in hand, patiently, ceaselessly, year after year. Perhaps we badgers too, in our small way, helped a little—who knows? It was all [Pg 102] down, down, down, gradually—ruin and levelling and disappearance. Then it was all up, up, up, gradually, as seeds grew to saplings, and saplings to forest trees, and bramble and fern came creeping in to help. Leaf-mould rose and obliterated, streams in their winter freshets brought sand and soil to clog and to cover, and in course of time our home was ready for us again, and we moved in. Up above us, on the surface, the same thing happened. Animals arrived, liked the look of the place, took up their quarters, settled down, spread, and flourished. They didn't bother themselves about the past—they never do; they're too busy. The place was a bit humpy and hillocky, naturally, and full of holes; but that was rather an advantage. And they don't bother about the future, either—the future when perhaps the people will move in again—for a time—as may very well be. The Wild Wood is pretty well populated by now; with all the usual lot, good, bad, and indifferent—I name no names. It takes all sorts to make a world. But I fancy you know something about them yourself by this time." [Pg 103]
"When they left," continued the Badger, "the strong winds and relentless rains took over, patiently and continuously, year after year. Maybe we badgers, in our small way, helped a little—who knows? It was all gradually going down, down, down—ruin and leveling and disappearance. Then it all started to come back up, up, up, slowly, as seeds grew into saplings, and saplings into forest trees, with bramble and fern creeping in to help. Leaf litter built up and covered everything, streams during their winter floods brought sand and soil to fill and cover, and eventually, our home was ready for us again, and we moved back in. Above us, on the surface, the same thing happened. Animals arrived, liked the look of the place, set up their homes, settled down, spread out, and thrived. They didn't concern themselves with the past—they never do; they’re too busy. The land was a bit uneven and bumpy, naturally, and full of holes; but that was actually an advantage. And they don’t worry about the future either—the future when perhaps people will move in again—for a time—as very well might happen. The Wild Wood is pretty well populated by now; with all the usual characters, good, bad, and indifferent—I won't name names. It takes all kinds to make a world. But I guess you know something about them by now."
"I do indeed," said the Mole, with a slight shiver.
"I really do," said the Mole, with a small shiver.
"Well, well," said the Badger, patting him on the shoulder, "it was your first experience of them, you see. They're not so bad really; and we must all live and let live. But I'll pass the word around to-morrow, and I think you'll have no further trouble. Any friend of mine walks where he likes in this country, or I'll know the reason why!"
"Well, well," said the Badger, giving him a pat on the shoulder, "that was your first encounter with them, you see. They're not so bad, really; we just have to accept each other. I'll spread the word tomorrow, and I’m sure you won’t have any more issues. Any friend of mine can go wherever he wants in this country, or I'll find out why!"
When they got back to the kitchen again, they found the Rat walking up and down, very restless. The underground atmosphere was oppressing him and getting on his nerves, and he seemed really to be afraid that the river would run away if he wasn't there to look after it. So he had his overcoat on, and his pistols thrust into his belt again. "Come along, Mole," he said anxiously, as soon as he caught sight of them. "We must get off while it's daylight. Don't want to spend another night in the Wild Wood again."
When they returned to the kitchen, they found the Rat pacing back and forth, looking very restless. The underground vibe was weighing on him and stressing him out, and he genuinely seemed worried that the river would disappear if he wasn’t there to keep an eye on it. So, he had his overcoat on and his pistols tucked into his belt again. "Come on, Mole," he said nervously as soon as he spotted them. "We need to get going while it's still light out. I don’t want to spend another night in the Wild Wood."
"It'll be all right, my fine fellow," said the Otter. "I'm coming along with you, and I [Pg 104] know every path blindfold; and if there's a head that needs to be punched, you can confidently rely upon me to punch it."
"It'll be fine, my good friend," said the Otter. "I'm coming with you, and I know every path by heart; and if there's someone who needs a good punch, you can count on me to take care of it."
"You really needn't fret, Ratty," added the Badger placidly. "My passages run further than you think, and I've bolt-holes to the edge of the wood in several directions, though I don't care for everybody to know about them. When you really have to go, you shall leave by one of my short cuts. Meantime, make yourself easy, and sit down again."
"You really don't need to worry, Ratty," the Badger said calmly. "My tunnels extend further than you realize, and I have escape routes to the edge of the woods in several directions, though I prefer not to share that information with just anyone. When you really need to leave, you can use one of my shortcuts. In the meantime, relax and sit down again."
The Rat was nevertheless still anxious to be off and attend to his river, so the Badger, taking up his lantern again, led the way along a damp and airless tunnel that wound and dipped, part vaulted, part hewn through solid rock, for a weary distance that seemed to be miles. At last daylight began to show itself confusedly through tangled growth overhanging the mouth of the passage; and the Badger, bidding them a hasty good-bye, pushed them hurriedly through the opening, made everything look as natural as possible again, with creepers, brushwood, and dead leaves, and retreated. [Pg 105]
The Rat was still eager to get going and check on his river, so the Badger grabbed his lantern again and led the way through a damp, stuffy tunnel that twisted and dipped, partly vaulted and partly carved from solid rock, for what felt like miles. Finally, daylight started to peek through the tangled growth at the mouth of the passage. The Badger quickly said goodbye, pushed them through the opening, made everything look as natural as possible again with vines, brush, and dead leaves, and then retreated. [Pg 105]
They found themselves standing on the very edge of the Wild Wood. Rocks and brambles and tree-roots behind them, confusedly heaped and tangled; in front, a great space of quiet fields, hemmed by lines of hedges black on the snow, and, far ahead, a glint of the familiar old river, while the wintry sun hung red and low on the horizon. The Otter, as knowing all the paths, took charge of the party, and they trailed out on a bee-line for a distant stile. Pausing there a moment and looking back, they saw the whole mass of the Wild Wood, dense, menacing, compact, grimly set in vast white surroundings; simultaneously they turned and made swiftly for home, for firelight and the familiar things it played on, for the voice, sounding cheerily outside their window, of the river that they knew and trusted in all its moods, that never made them afraid with any amazement.
They found themselves standing right on the edge of the Wild Wood. Behind them were rocks, brambles, and tree roots, all confusedly piled up and tangled; in front of them was a large open space of quiet fields, bordered by dark hedges against the snow, and far ahead, they could see a glint of the familiar old river, while the wintry sun hung low and red on the horizon. The Otter, knowing all the paths, took charge of the group, and they headed straight for a distant stile. Pausing for a moment to look back, they took in the whole mass of the Wild Wood—dense, threatening, and tightly packed—set against the vast white surroundings. At the same time, they turned and hurried home, towards the firelight and the familiar objects it illuminated, listening to the cheerful sound of the river outside their window, which they knew and trusted in all its moods, never making them feel afraid or amazed.
As he hurried along, eagerly anticipating the moment when he would be at home again among the things he knew and liked, the Mole saw clearly that he was an animal of tilled field [Pg 106] and hedgerow, linked to the ploughed furrow, the frequented pasture, the lane of evening lingerings, the cultivated garden-plot. For others the asperities, the stubborn endurance, or the clash of actual conflict, that went with Nature in the rough; he must be wise, must keep to the pleasant places in which his lines were laid and which held adventure enough, in their way, to last for a lifetime. [Pg 107]
As he rushed forward, eagerly looking forward to the moment when he would be home again, surrounded by the things he loved, the Mole realized that he was an animal of farmland and hedgerows, connected to the tilled soil, the familiar pastures, the evening lanes, and the tended garden. For others, there were the challenges, the stubborn resilience, or the real conflicts that came with facing Nature in its wild state; he knew he had to be smart and stick to the pleasant places where he felt at ease, which offered enough adventure in their own way to last a lifetime.
THE sheep ran huddling together against the hurdles, blowing out thin nostrils and stamping with delicate fore-feet, their heads thrown back and a light steam rising from the crowded sheep-pen into the frosty air, as the two animals hastened by in high spirits, with much chatter and laughter. They were returning across country after a long day's outing with Otter, hunting and exploring on the wide uplands, where certain streams tributary to their own River had their first small beginnings; and the shades of the short winter day were closing in on them, and they had still some distance to go. Plodding at random across the plough, they had heard the sheep and had made for them; and now, leading from the sheep-pen, they found a beaten track that made [Pg 110] walking a lighter business, and responded, moreover, to that small inquiring something which all animals carry inside them, saying unmistakably, "Yes, quite right; this leads home!"
The sheep huddled together against the gates, breathing through thin nostrils and stamping their delicate front feet, their heads thrown back with a light steam rising from the crowded sheep pen into the chilly air. Meanwhile, two animals rushed by, full of energy, chatting and laughing. They were making their way home after a long day out with Otter, hunting and exploring the wide hills, where some streams that flowed into their River had their beginnings. The shadows of the short winter day were closing in, and they still had a bit of distance to cover. As they trudged randomly across the plowed field, they heard the sheep and headed toward them. Now, leading from the sheep pen, they discovered a beaten path that made walking easier and also appealed to that small curious instinct that all animals have, clearly saying, "Yes, that's right; this leads home!"
"It looks as if we were coming to a village," said the Mole somewhat dubiously, slackening his pace, as the track, that had in time become a path and then had developed into a lane, now handed them over to the charge of a well-metalled road. The animals did not hold with villages, and their own highways, thickly frequented as they were, took an independent course, regardless of church, post-office, or public-house.
"It seems like we're heading to a village," said the Mole, a bit uncertain, slowing down as the path they had been on evolved into a well-paved road. The animals weren't really fans of villages, and their busy routes took their own way, completely ignoring churches, post offices, or pubs.
"Oh, never mind!" said the Rat. "At this season of the year they're all safe indoors by this time, sitting round the fire; men, women, and children, dogs and cats and all. We shall slip through all right, without any bother or unpleasantness, and we can have a look at them through their windows if you like, and see what they're doing."
"Oh, forget it!" said the Rat. "At this time of year, they're all cozy indoors by now, gathered around the fire—men, women, children, dogs, and cats, everyone. We'll get through without any hassle or unpleasantness, and if you want, we can peek through their windows and see what they're up to."
The rapid nightfall of mid-December had quite beset the little village as they approached it on soft feet over a first thin fall of powdery [Pg 111] snow. Little was visible but squares of a dusky orange-red on either side of the street, where the firelight or lamplight of each cottage overflowed through the casements into the dark world without. Most of the low latticed windows were innocent of blinds, and to the lookers-in from outside, the inmates, gathered round the tea-table, absorbed in handiwork, or talking with laughter and gesture, had each that happy grace which is the last thing the skilled actor shall capture—the natural grace which goes with perfect unconsciousness of observation. Moving at will from one theatre to another, the two spectators, so far from home themselves, had something of wistfulness in their eyes as they watched a cat being stroked, a sleepy child picked up and huddled off to bed, or a tired man stretch and knock out his pipe on the end of a smouldering log.
The quick arrival of night in mid-December had completely enveloped the little village as they approached it softly over the first thin layer of powdery snow. Little was visible except for squares of a dusky orange-red on either side of the street, where the firelight or lamplight from each cottage spilled through the windows into the dark world outside. Most of the low lattice windows had no blinds, so anyone peeking in could see the residents gathered around the tea table, absorbed in their crafts, or chatting with laughter and gestures. Each had that joyful grace that skilled actors strive for—the natural grace that comes with being completely unaware of being watched. Moving freely from one scene to another, the two spectators, far from home themselves, had a hint of longing in their eyes as they observed a cat being petted, a sleepy child being carried off to bed, or a tired man stretching and tapping out his pipe on the end of a smoldering log.
But it was from one little window, with its blind drawn down, a mere blank transparency on the night, that the sense of home and the little curtained world within walls—the larger stressful world of outside Nature shut out and [Pg 112] forgotten—most pulsated. Close against the white blind hung a bird-cage, clearly silhouetted, every wire, perch, and appurtenance distinct and recognisable, even to yesterday's dull-edged lump of sugar. On the middle perch the fluffy occupant, head tucked well into feathers, seemed so near to them as to be easily stroked, had they tried; even the delicate tips of his plumped-out plumage pencilled plainly on the illuminated screen. As they looked, the sleepy little fellow stirred uneasily, woke, shook himself, and raised his head. They could see the gape of his tiny beak as he yawned in a bored sort of way, looked round, and then settled his head into his back again, while the ruffled feathers gradually subsided into perfect stillness. Then a gust of bitter wind took them in the back of the neck, a small sting of frozen sleet on the skin woke them as from a dream, and they knew their toes to be cold and their legs tired, and their own home distant a weary way.
But there was one little window, with its blind pulled down, just a blank slice of the night, where the feeling of home and the cozy world behind the walls—the overwhelming and stressful outside world of nature shut out and forgotten—was most alive. Right up against the white blind hung a birdcage, clearly outlined, every wire, perch, and accessory distinct and identifiable, even yesterday's dull lump of sugar. On the middle perch, the fluffy occupant, head snug in its feathers, seemed so close that it could easily be stroked if they tried; even the delicate tips of its puffy plumage showed clearly on the bright backdrop. As they watched, the sleepy little guy stirred, woke up, shook himself, and lifted his head. They could see the tiny beak open wide as he yawned in a bored way, looked around, and then tucked his head back into his feathers again, while his ruffled feathers gradually settled into perfect stillness. Then a blast of cold wind hit the back of their necks, a small sting of icy sleet on their skin pulled them from their reverie, and they realized their toes were cold, their legs were tired, and their own home was a long way off.
Once beyond the village, where the cottages ceased abruptly, on either side of the road they could smell through the darkness the friendly [Pg 113] fields again; and they braced themselves for the last long stretch, the home stretch, the stretch that we know is bound to end, some time, in the rattle of the door-latch, the sudden firelight, and the sight of familiar things greeting us as long-absent travellers from far over-sea. They plodded along steadily and silently, each of them thinking his own thoughts. The Mole's ran a good deal on supper, as it was pitch-dark, and it was all a strange country for him as far as he knew, and he was following obediently in the wake of the Rat, leaving the guidance entirely to him. As for the Rat, he was walking a little way ahead, as his habit was, his shoulders humped, his eyes fixed on the straight grey road in front of him; so he did not notice poor Mole when suddenly the summons reached him, and took him like an electric shock.
Once they passed the village, where the cottages abruptly ended, they could smell the welcoming fields again through the darkness on either side of the road; and they prepared themselves for the last long stretch, the home stretch, the part that we know will eventually end, at some point, with the rattle of the door-latch, the sudden glow of firelight, and the sight of familiar things welcoming us back as if we were long-absent travelers from far away. They trudged along steadily and silently, each lost in their own thoughts. Mole was mostly thinking about dinner, since it was pitch-black and everything was unfamiliar to him, and he was following obediently behind Rat, completely trusting his guidance. Rat, on the other hand, walked a little ahead, as was his habit, his shoulders hunched and his eyes focused on the straight grey road in front of him; so he didn't see poor Mole when suddenly the call came to him, striking him like an electric shock.
We others, who have long lost the more subtle of the physical senses, have not even proper terms to express an animal's inter-communications with his surroundings, living or otherwise, and have only the word "smell," for instance, to [Pg 114] include the whole range of delicate thrills which murmur in the nose of the animal night and day, summoning, warning, inciting, repelling. It was one of these mysterious fairy calls from out the void that suddenly reached Mole in the darkness, making him tingle through and through with its very familiar appeal, even while yet he could not clearly remember what it was. He stopped dead in his tracks, his nose searching hither and thither in its efforts to recapture the fine filament, the telegraphic current, that had so strongly moved him. A moment, and he had caught it again; and with it this time came recollection in fullest flood.
We, who have long lost the more subtle physical senses, don’t even have the right words to describe how animals communicate with their environment, whether living or not. We only have the word "smell," for example, to cover the entire range of delicate sensations that constantly vibrate in an animal’s nose, calling, warning, exciting, or repelling. It was one of these mysterious, fairy-like calls from the void that suddenly reached Mole in the darkness, making him feel a familiar excitement, even though he couldn’t quite remember what it was. He stopped in his tracks, his nose sniffing around in an effort to capture the fine thread, the telegraphic signal, that had moved him so deeply. In a moment, he caught it again; and with it came a flood of memories.
Home! That was what they meant, those caressing appeals, those soft touches wafted through the air, those invisible little hands pulling and tugging, all one way! Why, it must be quite close by him at that moment, his old home that he had hurriedly forsaken and never sought again, that day when he first found the River! And now it was sending out its scouts and its messengers to capture him and bring [Pg 115] him in. Since his escape on that bright morning he had hardly given it a thought, so absorbed had he been in his new life, in all its pleasures, its surprises, its fresh and captivating experiences. Now, with a rush of old memories, how clearly it stood up before him, in the darkness! Shabby indeed, and small and poorly furnished, and yet his, the home he had made for himself, the home he had been so happy to get back to after his day's work. And the home had been happy with him, too, evidently, and was missing him, and wanted him back, and was telling him so, through his nose, sorrowfully, reproachfully, but with no bitterness or anger; only with plaintive reminder that it was there, and wanted him.
Home! That’s what those soothing calls meant, those gentle touches floating through the air, those invisible little hands pulling him back, all in one direction! It must be really close by him right then, his old home that he had hurriedly left behind and never looked for again, that day when he first discovered the River! And now it was sending out its scouts and messengers to draw him in. Since his escape on that bright morning, he had barely thought about it, so caught up had he been in his new life, with all its pleasures, surprises, and fresh, captivating experiences. Now, with a rush of old memories, how vividly it appeared before him in the darkness! Shabby, indeed, small, and poorly furnished, yet it was his—the home he had made for himself, the place he had been so happy to return to after a day's work. And the home had been happy to have him, too, clearly missing him and wanting him back, expressing that through a sorrowful, reproachful scent, but without any bitterness or anger; just a plaintive reminder that it was there and desired him.
The call was clear, the summons was plain. He must obey it instantly, and go. "Ratty!" he called, full of joyful excitement, "hold on! Come back! I want you, quick!"
The call was clear, the message was straightforward. He had to respond immediately and go. "Ratty!" he shouted, full of joyful excitement, "wait! Come back! I need you, quick!"
"Oh, come along, Mole, do!" replied the Rat cheerfully, still plodding along.
"Oh, come on, Mole, do!" replied the Rat cheerfully, still walking steadily.
"Please stop, Ratty!" pleaded the poor Mole, in anguish of heart. "You don't understand! It's my home, my old home! I've just come [Pg 116] across the smell of it, and it's close by here, really quite close. And I must go to it, I must, I must! Oh, come back, Ratty! Please, please come back!"
"Please stop, Ratty!" begged the poor Mole, feeling heartbroken. "You don’t understand! It’s my home, my old home! I’ve just caught a whiff of it, and it’s nearby, really very close. And I have to go to it, I have to, I have to! Oh, come back, Ratty! Please, please come back!"
The Rat was by this time very far ahead, too far to hear clearly what the Mole was calling, too far to catch the sharp note of painful appeal in his voice. And he was much taken up with the weather, for he too, could smell something—something suspiciously like approaching snow.
The Rat was now very far ahead, too far to hear clearly what the Mole was shouting, too far to catch the urgent tone of desperation in his voice. And he was preoccupied with the weather, as he could also smell something—something oddly resembling incoming snow.
"Mole, we mustn't stop now, really!" he called back. "We'll come for it to-morrow, whatever it is you've found. But I daren't stop now—it's late, and the snow's coming on again, and I'm not sure of the way! And I want your nose, Mole, so come on quick, there's a good fellow!" And the Rat pressed forward on his way without waiting for an answer.
"Mole, we can't stop now, seriously!" he called back. "We'll come for whatever you've found tomorrow. But I can't stop now—it's late, the snow is starting again, and I’m not sure of the way! And I need your nose, Mole, so hurry up, please!" And the Rat moved ahead on his path without waiting for a response.
Poor Mole stood alone in the road, his heart torn asunder, and a big sob gathering, gathering, somewhere low down inside him, to leap up to the surface presently, he knew, in passionate escape. But even under such a test as this his loyalty to his friend stood firm. Never for a [Pg 117] moment did he dream of abandoning him. Meanwhile, the wafts from his old home pleaded, whispered, conjured, and finally claimed him imperiously. He dared not tarry longer within their magic circle. With a wrench that tore his very heart-strings he set his face down the road and followed submissively in the track of the Rat, while faint, thin little smells, still dogging his retreating nose, reproached him for his new friendship and his callous forgetfulness.
Poor Mole stood alone in the road, his heart shattered, and a big sob building up inside him, ready to burst out any moment in a wave of emotion. But even in such a tough moment, his loyalty to his friend remained strong. He never once considered abandoning him. Meanwhile, the familiar scents from his old home called to him, whispering and beckoning, until they finally demanded his attention. He couldn’t stay any longer in their enchanting presence. With a pain that felt like it was tearing him apart, he turned his face down the road and followed the Rat, while faint, lingering smells still taunted him for his new friendship and his cruel forgetfulness.
With an effort he caught up to the unsuspecting Rat, who began chattering cheerfully about what they would do when they got back, and how jolly a fire of logs in the parlour would be, and what a supper he meant to eat; never noticing his companion's silence and distressful state of mind. At last, however, when they had gone some considerable way further, and were passing some tree stumps at the edge of a copse that bordered the road, he stopped and said kindly, "Look here, Mole, old chap, you seem dead tired. No talk left in you, and your feet dragging like lead. We'll sit down here for a minute and rest. The snow has held off [Pg 118] so far, and the best part of our journey is over."
With some effort, he caught up to the unsuspecting Rat, who started chatting happily about what they would do when they got back, how nice a log fire in the living room would be, and what a feast he planned to have; completely unaware of his friend's silence and troubled state of mind. Finally, after they had walked a considerable distance, passing some tree stumps at the edge of a thicket by the road, he stopped and said kindly, "Hey, Mole, you look completely worn out. You seem out of words, and your feet are dragging like lead. Let’s sit down here for a minute and take a break. The snow hasn’t hit us yet, and the toughest part of our journey is behind us."
The Mole subsided forlornly on a tree stump and tried to control himself, for he felt it surely coming. The sob he had fought with so long refused to be beaten. Up and up, it forced its way to the air, and then another, and another, and others thick and fast; till poor Mole at last gave up the struggle, and cried freely and helplessly and openly, now that he knew it was all over and he had lost what he could hardly be said to have found.
The Mole sank down sadly onto a tree stump and tried to pull himself together, because he could feel it coming. The sob he had fought against for so long wouldn’t back down. Up it came, forcing its way out, followed by another, and another, and more came flooding out quickly; until poor Mole finally gave in, crying openly and helplessly now that he realized it was all over and he had lost something he could barely say he had found.
The Rat, astonished and dismayed at the violence of Mole's paroxysm of grief, did not dare to speak for a while. At last he said, very quietly and sympathetically, "What is it, old fellow? Whatever can be the matter? Tell us your trouble, and let me see what I can do."
The Rat, shocked and unsettled by Mole's intense outburst of grief, didn’t say anything for a while. Finally, he said very gently and with compassion, "What's wrong, my friend? What could possibly be the issue? Share your trouble with us, and let me see how I can help."
Poor Mole found it difficult to get any words out between the upheavals of his chest that followed one upon another so quickly and held back speech and choked it as it came. "I know it's a—shabby, dingy little place," he sobbed forth at last brokenly: "not like—your cosy [Pg 119] quarters—or Toad's beautiful hall—or Badger's great house—but it was my own little home—and I was fond of it—and I went away and forgot all about it—and then I smelt it suddenly—on the road, when I called and you wouldn't listen, Rat—and everything came back to me with a rush—and I wanted it!—O dear, O dear!—and when you wouldn't turn back, Ratty—and I had to leave it, though I was smelling it all the time—I thought my heart would break.—We might have just gone and had one look at it, Ratty—only one look—it was close by—but you wouldn't turn back, Ratty, you wouldn't turn back! O dear, O dear!"
Poor Mole struggled to get any words out through the waves of emotion crashing in his chest, which came one after another so quickly that they stifled his speech. "I know it's a—worn-out, shabby little place," he finally sobbed, his voice breaking: "not like—your cozy [Pg 119] home—or Toad's beautiful hall—or Badger's big house—but it was my own little home—and I cared about it—and I left and forgot all about it—then I suddenly caught a whiff of it—on the road, when I called and you wouldn’t listen, Rat—and everything came rushing back to me—and I wanted it!—Oh dear, oh dear!—and when you wouldn’t turn back, Ratty—and I had to leave it, even though I could smell it the whole time—I thought my heart would break.—We could have just gone and had one glance at it, Ratty—just one glance—it was so close—but you wouldn’t turn back, Ratty, you wouldn’t turn back! Oh dear, oh dear!"
Recollection brought fresh waves of sorrow, and sobs again took full charge of him, preventing further speech.
Recollection brought new waves of sadness, and he was overcome with sobs again, stopping him from speaking further.
The Rat stared straight in front of him, saying nothing, only patting Mole gently on the shoulder. After a time he muttered gloomily, "I see it all now! What a pig I have been! A pig—that's me! Just a pig—a plain pig!"
The Rat stared straight ahead, saying nothing, only patting Mole gently on the shoulder. After a while, he mumbled darkly, "I get it now! What a fool I’ve been! A fool—that’s me! Just a fool—a plain fool!"
He waited till Mole's sobs became gradually [Pg 120] less stormy and more rhythmical; he waited till at last sniffs were frequent and sobs only intermittent. Then he rose from his seat, and, remarking carelessly, "Well, now we'd really better be getting on, old chap!" set off up the road again over the toilsome way they had come.
He waited until Mole's sobbing got less intense and more steady; he waited until sniffles were frequent and sobs were only occasional. Then he stood up from his seat and casually said, "Well, we should really get going now, buddy!" and took off up the road again along the difficult path they had just traveled.
"Wherever are you (hic) going to (hic), Ratty?" cried the tearful Mole, looking up in alarm.
"Where are you going (hic), Ratty?" cried the tearful Mole, looking up in alarm.
"We're going to find that home of yours, old fellow," replied the Rat pleasantly; "so you had better come along, for it will take some finding, and we shall want your nose."
"We're going to locate your home, buddy," the Rat said cheerfully; "so you should come with us, since it might be a bit tricky to find, and we’ll need your sense of smell."
"Oh, come back, Ratty, do!" cried the Mole, getting up and hurrying after him. "It's no good, I tell you! It's too late, and too dark, and the place is too far off, and the snow's coming! And—and I never meant to let you know I was feeling that way about it—it was all an accident and a mistake! And think of River Bank, and your supper!"
"Oh, please come back, Ratty!" cried the Mole, getting up and rushing after him. "It's no use, I swear! It's too late, and too dark, and it's far away, and the snow is starting! And—I didn't mean to let you know I felt that way about it—it was all a fluke and a mistake! And think about River Bank and your dinner!"
"Hang River Bank, and supper, too!" said the Rat heartily. "I tell you, I'm going to find this place now, if I stay out all night. So [Pg 121] cheer up, old chap, and take my arm, and we'll very soon be back there again."
"Hang the riverbank, and dinner, too!" said the Rat enthusiastically. "I'm telling you, I'm going to find this place now, even if I have to stay out all night. So [Pg 121] cheer up, buddy, and take my arm, and we'll be back there in no time."
Still snuffling, pleading, and reluctant, Mole suffered himself to be dragged back along the road by his imperious companion, who by a flow of cheerful talk and anecdote endeavoured to beguile his spirits back and make the weary way seem shorter. When at last it seemed to the Rat that they must be nearing that part of the road where the Mole had been "held up," he said, "Now, no more talking. Business! Use your nose, and give your mind to it."
Still sniffling, pleading, and hesitant, Mole let himself be pulled back along the road by his bossy companion, who tried to lift his spirits with a stream of cheerful conversation and stories to make the long journey feel shorter. When it finally seemed to the Rat that they must be approaching the spot where the Mole had been "held up," he said, "Alright, no more chatting. Time to focus! Use your nose and concentrate."
They moved on in silence for some little way, when suddenly the Rat was conscious, through his arm that was linked in Mole's, of a faint sort of electric thrill that was passing down that animal's body. Instantly he disengaged himself, fell back a pace, and waited, all attention.
They continued on in silence for a short distance when suddenly the Rat felt a faint electric thrill going through Mole's body, where his arm was linked with his. Immediately, he pulled away, took a step back, and waited, fully alert.
The signals were coming through!
The signals are coming through!
Mole stood a moment rigid, while his uplifted nose, quivering slightly, felt the air.
Mole stood still for a moment, his nose raised and slightly quivering as it sensed the air.
Then a short, quick run forward—a fault—a check—a try back; and then a slow, steady, confident advance. [Pg 122]
Then a quick dash forward—a mistake—a pause—a step back; and then a slow, steady, confident progress. [Pg 122]
The Rat, much excited, kept close to his heels as the Mole, with something of the air of a sleep-walker, crossed a dry ditch, scrambled through a hedge, and nosed his way over a field open and trackless and bare in the faint starlight.
The Rat, feeling very excited, stayed right behind him as the Mole, looking a bit like a sleepwalker, crossed a dry ditch, climbed through a hedge, and found his way across a field that was open, unmarked, and empty in the dim starlight.
Suddenly, without giving warning, he dived; but the Rat was on the alert, and promptly followed him down the tunnel to which his unerring nose had faithfully led him.
Suddenly, without any warning, he dove; but the Rat was ready and quickly followed him down the tunnel that his accurate nose had reliably guided him to.
It was close and airless, and the earthy smell was strong, and it seemed a long time to Rat ere the passage ended and he could stand erect and stretch and shake himself. The Mole struck a match, and by its light the Rat saw that they were standing in an open space, neatly swept and sanded underfoot, and directly facing them was Mole's little front door, with "Mole End" painted, in Gothic lettering, over the bell-pull at the side.
It was cramped and stuffy, with a strong earthy smell, and it felt like forever to Rat before the tunnel ended so he could stand up straight, stretch, and shake himself. The Mole lit a match, and by its light, Rat saw that they were in an open area, which was neatly swept and had sand on the floor. Directly in front of them was Mole's little front door, with "Mole End" painted in Gothic letters above the bell-pull on the side.
Mole reached down a lantern from a nail on the wall and lit it, and the Rat, looking round him, saw that they were in a sort of fore-court. A garden-seat stood on one side of the door, [Pg 123] and on the other a roller; for the Mole, who was a tidy animal when at home, could not stand having his ground kicked up by other animals into little runs that ended in earth-heaps. On the walls hung wire baskets with ferns in them, alternating with brackets carrying plaster statuary—Garibaldi, and the infant Samuel, and Queen Victoria, and other heroes of modern Italy. Down on one side of the fore-court ran a skittle-alley, with benches along it and little wooden tables marked with rings that hinted at beer-mugs. In the middle was a small round pond containing gold-fish and surrounded by a cockle-shell border. Out of the centre of the pond rose a fanciful erection clothed in more cockle-shells and topped by a large silvered glass ball that reflected everything all wrong and had a very pleasing effect.
Mole reached down a lantern from a nail on the wall and lit it. The Rat, looking around, saw that they were in a sort of courtyard. A garden bench stood on one side of the door, and on the other was a roller; because Mole, who was a neat animal at home, couldn’t stand having his space messed up by other animals creating little paths that ended in dirt piles. On the walls, there were wire baskets with ferns in them, alternating with brackets holding plaster statues—Garibaldi, the infant Samuel, Queen Victoria, and other heroes of modern Italy. Down one side of the courtyard was a bowling alley, with benches along it and small wooden tables marked with rings, hinting at beer mugs. In the middle was a small round pond with goldfish in it, surrounded by a shell border. Rising from the center of the pond was a decorative structure covered in more shells and topped with a large silvered glass ball that reflected everything in a distorted way and had a very charming effect.
Mole's face beamed at the sight of all these objects so dear to him, and he hurried Rat through the door, lit a lamp in the hall, and took one glance round his old home. He saw the dust lying thick on everything, saw the cheerless, deserted look of the long-neglected house, [Pg 124] and its narrow, meagre dimensions, its worn and shabby contents—and collapsed again on a hall-chair, his nose to his paws. "O Ratty!" he cried dismally, "why ever did I do it? Why did I bring you to this poor, cold little place, on a night like this, when you might have been at River Bank by this time, toasting your toes before a blazing fire, with all your own nice things about you!"
Mole's face lit up at the sight of all these objects so precious to him, and he quickly ushered Rat through the door, lit a lamp in the hallway, and took a look around his old home. He noticed the thick layer of dust on everything, the gloomy, abandoned feel of the long-neglected house, the narrow, meager space, and its worn-out, shabby contents—and sank back down onto a hall chair, his nose resting on his paws. "Oh, Ratty!" he exclaimed sadly, "why did I do this? Why did I bring you to this poor, cold little place on a night like this, when you could have been at River Bank by now, warming your toes in front of a blazing fire, with all your nice things around you!"
The Rat paid no heed to his doleful self-reproaches. He was running here and there, opening doors, inspecting rooms and cupboards, and lighting lamps and candles and sticking them up everywhere. "What a capital little house this is!" he called out cheerily. "So compact! So well planned! Everything here and everything in its place! We'll make a jolly night of it. The first thing we want is a good fire; I'll see to that—I always know where to find things. So this is the parlour? Splendid! Your own idea, those little sleeping-bunks in the wall? Capital! Now, I'll fetch the wood and the coals, and you get a duster, Mole—you'll find one in the drawer of the kitchen [Pg 125] table—and try and smarten things up a bit. Bustle about, old chap!"
The Rat paid no attention to his gloomy self-blame. He was dashing around, opening doors, checking out rooms and cupboards, and lighting lamps and candles, putting them up everywhere. "What a great little house this is!" he called out happily. "So cozy! So well designed! Everything is here and everything is in its place! We’ll make a fun night of it. The first thing we need is a good fire; I’ll take care of that—I always know where to find things. So this is the living room? Awesome! Was it your idea to have those little sleeping bunks in the wall? Great! Now, I’ll get the wood and coals, and you find a duster, Mole—you’ll find one in the kitchen table drawer—and try to tidy things up a bit. Get moving, buddy!"
Encouraged by his inspiriting companion, the Mole roused himself and dusted and polished with energy and heartiness, while the Rat, running to and fro with armfuls of fuel, soon had a cheerful blaze roaring up the chimney. He hailed the Mole to come and warm himself; but Mole promptly had another fit of the blues, dropping down on a couch in dark despair and burying his face in his duster. "Rat," he moaned, "how about your supper, you poor, cold, hungry, weary animal? I've nothing to give you—nothing—not a crumb!"
Encouraged by his uplifting friend, the Mole got up, dusted himself off, and polished everything with enthusiasm and vigor, while the Rat dashed around with armfuls of fuel, quickly getting a cheerful fire going in the chimney. He called out to the Mole to come and warm up, but the Mole suddenly fell into another bout of sadness, collapsing onto a couch in deep despair and burying his face in his cloth. "Rat," he lamented, "what about your dinner, you poor, cold, hungry, exhausted creature? I have nothing to offer you—nothing—not even a crumb!"
"What a fellow you are for giving in!" said the Rat reproachfully. "Why, only just now I saw a sardine-opener on the kitchen dresser, quite distinctly; and everybody knows that means there are sardines about somewhere in the neighbourhood. Rouse yourself! pull yourself together, and come with me and forage."
"What a guy you are for giving up!" the Rat said with a hint of disappointment. "Just a moment ago, I saw a sardine opener on the kitchen dresser, clear as day; and everyone knows that means there are sardines hanging around somewhere nearby. Get yourself together! Pull yourself together, and come with me to scavenge."
They went and foraged accordingly, hunting through every cupboard and turning out every drawer. The result was not so very depressing [Pg 126] after all, though of course it might have been better; a tin of sardines—a box of captain's biscuits, nearly full—and a German sausage encased in silver paper.
They went and searched for food, looking through every cupboard and emptying every drawer. The outcome wasn't too discouraging after all, though it could have been better; they found a can of sardines, a nearly full box of captain's biscuits, and a German sausage wrapped in silver paper.
"There's a banquet for you!" observed the Rat, as he arranged the table. "I know some animals who would give their ears to be sitting down to supper with us to-night!"
"There's a feast for you!" said the Rat, as he set the table. "I know some animals who would do anything to be having dinner with us tonight!"
"No bread!" groaned the Mole dolorously; "no butter, no—"
"No bread!" groaned the Mole sadly; "no butter, no—"
"No pâté de foie gras, no champagne!" continued the Rat, grinning. "And that reminds me—what's that little door at the end of the passage? Your cellar, of course! Every luxury in this house! Just you wait a minute."
"No pâté de foie gras, no champagne!" the Rat said with a grin. "And that reminds me—what's that little door at the end of the hallway? Your cellar, obviously! Every luxury in this house! Just hold on a minute."
He made for the cellar-door, and presently reappeared, somewhat dusty, with a bottle of beer in each paw and another under each arm, "Self-indulgent beggar you seem to be, Mole," he observed. "Deny yourself nothing. This is really the jolliest little place I ever was in. Now, wherever did you pick up those prints? Make the place look so home-like, they do. No wonder you're so fond of it, Mole. Tell us [Pg 127] all about it, and how you came to make it what it is."
He headed for the cellar door and soon came back, a bit dusty, holding a bottle of beer in each hand and another under each arm. "You sure are a self-indulgent guy, Mole," he said. "Don’t hold back on yourself. This is honestly the nicest little place I’ve ever been to. Where on earth did you get those prints? They really make the place feel so cozy. No wonder you like it here, Mole. Tell us all about it and how you turned it into what it is."
Then, while the Rat busied himself fetching plates, and knives and forks, and mustard which he mixed in an egg-cup, the Mole, his bosom still heaving with the stress of his recent emotion, related—somewhat shyly at first, but with more freedom as he warmed to his subject—how this was planned, and how that was thought out, and how this was got through a windfall from an aunt, and that was a wonderful find and a bargain, and this other thing was bought out of laborious savings and a certain amount of "going without." His spirits finally quite restored, he must needs go and caress his possessions, and take a lamp and show off their points to his visitor and expatiate on them, quite forgetful of the supper they both so much needed; Rat, who was desperately hungry but strove to conceal it, nodding seriously, examining with a puckered brow, and saying, "wonderful," and "most remarkable," at intervals, when the chance for an observation was given him. [Pg 128]
Then, while the Rat was busy getting plates, knives and forks, and mustard which he mixed in an egg cup, the Mole, still emotionally charged from his recent feelings, shyly at first but then more freely as he got into it, talked about how this was planned, how that was thought out, how he received a windfall from an aunt, how that was a great find and a bargain, and how the other thing was bought from hard-earned savings and a bit of skipping treats. Once his spirits were fully restored, he had to go and admire his belongings, take a lamp, show off their features to his visitor, and elaborate on them, completely forgetting about the supper they both needed so much; Rat, who was starving but tried to hide it, nodded seriously, examining with a furrowed brow, and saying, "wonderful," and "most remarkable," whenever he got the chance to chime in. [Pg 128]
At last the Rat succeeded in decoying him to the table, and had just got seriously to work with the sardine-opener when sounds were heard from the fore-court without—sounds like the scuffling of small feet in the gravel and a confused murmur of tiny voices, while broken sentences reached them—"Now, all in a line—hold the lantern up a bit, Tommy—clear your throats first—no coughing after I say one, two, three.—Where's young Bill?—Here, come on, do, we're all a-waiting—"
At last, the Rat managed to lure him to the table and had just started working with the sardine opener when sounds came from the front yard—sounds that sounded like small feet shuffling on the gravel and a jumble of tiny voices, with snippets of conversation reaching them—“Okay, everyone in a line—hold the lantern up a bit, Tommy—clear your throats first—no coughing after I say one, two, three.—Where’s young Bill?—Here, come on, we’re all waiting—”
"What's up?" inquired the Rat, pausing in his labours.
"What's up?" asked the Rat, taking a break from his work.
"I think it must be the field-mice," replied the Mole, with a touch of pride in his manner. "They go round carol-singing regularly at this time of the year. They're quite an institution in these parts. And they never pass me over—they come to Mole End last of all; and I used to give them hot drinks, and supper too sometimes, when I could afford it. It will be like old times to hear them again."
"I think it has to be the field mice," replied the Mole, a bit proud of himself. "They go around carol-singing every year at this time. They're quite the tradition around here. And they never skip me—they always come to Mole End last of all; and I used to give them hot drinks and sometimes dinner when I could afford it. It’ll feel like old times to hear them again."
"Let's have a look at them!" cried the Rat, jumping up and running to the door. [Pg 129]
"Let’s check them out!" shouted the Rat, jumping up and racing to the door. [Pg 129]
It was a pretty sight, and a seasonable one, that met their eyes when they flung the door open. In the fore-court, lit by the dim rays of a horn lantern, some eight or ten little field-mice stood in a semicircle, red worsted comforters round their throats, their fore-paws thrust deep into their pockets, their feet jigging for warmth. With bright beady eyes they glanced shyly at each other, sniggering a little, sniffing and applying coat-sleeves a good deal. As the door opened, one of the elder ones that carried the lantern was just saying, "Now then, one, two, three!" and forthwith their shrill little voices uprose on the air, singing one of the old-time carols that their forefathers composed in fields that were fallow and held by frost, or when snow-bound in chimney corners, and handed down to be sung in the miry street to lamp-lit windows at Yule-time.
It was a lovely sight, and a fitting one, that greeted them when they opened the door. In the courtyard, illuminated by the soft glow of a lantern, about eight or ten little field mice stood in a semicircle, red wool scarves wrapped around their necks, their front paws tucked deep into their pockets, their feet shuffling to keep warm. With bright, shiny eyes, they glanced nervously at each other, fidgeting a bit, sniffing, and wiping their sleeves often. As the door swung open, one of the older mice holding the lantern was just saying, "Okay, one, two, three!" and immediately their high-pitched little voices filled the air, singing one of the old carols that their ancestors wrote in fields that were barren and frozen, or when snowed in by the fireplace, and passed down to be sung in the muddy streets to lamp-lit windows at Christmas time.
Animals all, as it happened, In the stable where they lived! They will have joy in the morning!
The voices ceased, the singers, bashful but smiling, exchanged sidelong glances, and silence succeeded—but for a moment only. Then, [Pg 131] from up above and far away, down the tunnel they had so lately travelled was borne to their ears in a faint musical hum the sound of distant bells ringing a joyful and clangorous peal.
The voices stopped, the singers, shy but smiling, exchanged quick glances, and there was silence—but only for a moment. Then, [Pg 131] from far above and away, down the tunnel they had just traveled, they heard a faint musical hum: the sound of distant bells ringing a joyful and noisy peal.
"Very well sung, boys!" cried the Rat heartily. "And now come along in, all of you, and warm yourselves by the fire, and have something hot!"
"Great job singing, guys!" the Rat exclaimed warmly. "Now come on in, everyone, warm up by the fire, and grab something hot to drink!"
"Yes, come along, field-mice," cried the Mole eagerly. "This is quite like old times! Shut the door after you. Pull up that settle to the fire. Now, you just wait a minute, while we—O, Ratty!" he cried in despair, plumping down on a seat, with tears impending. "Whatever are we doing? We've nothing to give them!"
"Yes, come on, field mice," said the Mole eagerly. "This is just like old times! Shut the door behind you. Pull that couch closer to the fire. Now, just wait a minute while we—Oh, Ratty!" he cried, sinking down onto a seat, with tears in his eyes. "What are we doing? We have nothing to give them!"
"You leave all that to me," said the masterful Rat. "Here, you with the lantern! Come over this way. I want to talk to you. Now, tell me, are there any shops open at this hour of the night?"
"You leave all that to me," said the confident Rat. "Hey, you with the lantern! Come over here. I want to chat with you. Now, let me ask, are there any shops open at this hour of the night?"
"Why, certainly, sir," replied the field-mouse respectfully. "At this time of the year our shops keep open to all sorts of hours."
"Of course, sir," replied the field mouse respectfully. "This time of year, our shops are open at all kinds of hours."
"Then look here!" said the Rat. "You go [Pg 132] off at once, you and your lantern, and you get me—"
"Then check this out!" said the Rat. "You head off right now, you and your lantern, and you get me—"
Here much muttered conversation ensued, and the Mole only heard bits of it, such as—"Fresh, mind!—no, a pound of that will do—see you get Buggins's, for I won't have any other—no, only the best—if you can't get it there, try somewhere else—yes, of course, home-made, no tinned stuff—well then, do the best you can!" Finally, there was a chink of coin passing from paw to paw, the field-mouse was provided with an ample basket for his purchases, and off he hurried, he and his lantern.
Here, a lot of whispered conversation happened, and the Mole only picked up pieces of it, like—"Fresh, for sure!—no, a pound of that will do—make sure you get Buggins's, because I won’t accept anything else—no, only the best—if you can’t find it there, try somewhere else—yes, definitely home-made, no canned stuff—well then, do your best!" Finally, there was a sound of coins exchanging hands, the field-mouse got a big basket for his shopping, and he hurried off with his lantern.
The rest of the field-mice, perched in a row on the settle, their small legs swinging, gave themselves up to enjoyment of the fire, and toasted their chilblains till they tingled; while the Mole, failing to draw them into easy conversation, plunged into family history and made each of them recite the names of his numerous brothers, who were too young, it appeared, to be allowed to go out a-carolling this year, but looked forward very shortly to winning the parental consent. [Pg 133]
The other field mice, sitting in a row on the bench, legs swinging, enjoyed the warmth of the fire and toasted their chilblains until they tingled. Meanwhile, the Mole, unable to get them into light conversation, delved into their family history, prompting each of them to list the names of their many brothers, who, it seemed, were too young to go out caroling this year but were eagerly awaiting their parents' approval soon. [Pg 133]
The Rat, meanwhile, was busy examining the label on one of the beer-bottles. "I perceive this to be Old Burton," he remarked approvingly. "Sensible Mole! The very thing! Now we shall be able to mull some ale! Get the things ready, Mole, while I draw the corks."
The Rat, in the meantime, was busy looking at the label on one of the beer bottles. "I see this is Old Burton," he said with approval. "Smart Mole! Exactly what we need! Now we can warm up some ale! Get everything ready, Mole, while I open the bottles."
It did not take long to prepare the brew and thrust the tin heater well into the red heart of the fire; and soon every field-mouse was sipping and coughing and choking (for a little mulled ale goes a long way) and wiping his eyes and laughing and forgetting he had ever been cold in all his life.
It didn't take long to make the drink and push the metal heater deep into the fiery core of the flames; soon every field mouse was sipping, coughing, and choking (since a bit of mulled ale packs a punch) while wiping their eyes, laughing, and forgetting they had ever been cold in their lives.
"They act plays, too, these fellows," the Mole explained to the Rat. "Make them up all by themselves, and act them afterwards. And very well they do it, too! They gave us a capital one last year, about a field-mouse who was captured at sea by a Barbary corsair, and made to row in a galley; and when he escaped and got home again, his lady-love had gone into a convent. Here, you! You were in it, I remember. Get up and recite a bit."
"They put on plays too, these guys," the Mole told the Rat. "They come up with all the ideas themselves and perform them afterward. And they do a really great job! Last year, they put on an amazing one about a field mouse who was taken at sea by a Barbary pirate and made to row in a ship’s crew. When he finally escaped and got home, his sweetheart had joined a convent. Hey, you! You were in it, I remember. Get up and recite a bit."
The field-mouse addressed got up on his legs, [Pg 134] giggled shyly, looked round the room, and remained absolutely tongue-tied. His comrades cheered him on, Mole coaxed and encouraged him, and the Rat went so far as to take him by the shoulders and shake him; but nothing could overcome his stage-fright. They were all busily engaged on him like watermen applying the Royal Humane Society's regulations to a case of long submersion, when the latch clicked, the door opened, and the field-mouse with the lantern reappeared, staggering under the weight of his basket.
The field mouse got up on his legs, [Pg 134] giggled shyly, looked around the room, and stayed completely speechless. His friends cheered him on, Mole encouraged him, and the Rat even grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him; but nothing could shake off his stage fright. They were all busy trying to help him like watermen following the Royal Humane Society's guidelines for someone who's been underwater for too long, when the latch clicked, the door opened, and the field mouse with the lantern came back, struggling under the weight of his basket.
There was no more talk of play-acting once the very real and solid contents of the basket had been tumbled out on the table. Under the generalship of Rat, everybody was set to do something or to fetch something. In a very few minutes supper was ready, and Mole, as he took the head of the table in a sort of a dream, saw a lately barren board set thick with savoury comforts; saw his little friends' faces brighten and beam as they fell to without delay; and then let himself loose—for he was famished [Pg 135] indeed—on the provender so magically provided, thinking what a happy home-coming this had turned out, after all. As they ate, they talked of old times, and the field-mice gave him the local gossip up to date, and answered as well as they could the hundred questions he had to ask them. The Rat said little or nothing, only taking care that each guest had what he wanted, and plenty of it, and that Mole had no trouble or anxiety about anything.
There was no more talk of pretending once the very real and substantial food from the basket had been spilled out onto the table. Under Rat's leadership, everyone got busy doing something or fetching something. In just a few minutes, supper was ready, and as Mole took his place at the head of the table in a bit of a daze, he saw the formerly empty table filled with delicious comforts; he watched as his little friends' faces lit up and smiled as they dove into the meal without hesitation. Then he let himself indulge—he was indeed starving—on the feast so magically laid out, thinking how wonderful this homecoming had turned out to be after all. As they ate, they reminisced about old times, and the field mice updated him on the local gossip, answering as best as they could the hundreds of questions he had for them. Rat said very little, mostly just making sure that each guest had what they wanted and plenty of it, ensuring that Mole had no worries or concerns about anything.
They clattered off at last, very grateful and showering wishes of the season, with their jacket pockets stuffed with remembrances for the small brothers and sisters at home. When the door had closed on the last of them and the chink of the lanterns had died away, Mole and Rat kicked the fire up, drew their chairs in, brewed themselves a last nightcap of mulled ale, and discussed the events of the long day. At last the Rat, with a tremendous yawn, said, "Mole, old chap, I'm ready to drop. Sleepy is simply not the word. That your own bunk over on that side? Very well, then, I'll take this. What a ripping little house this is! Everything so handy!" [Pg 136]
They finally left, very thankful and wishing everyone a happy holiday, with their jacket pockets filled with treats for their little brothers and sisters at home. Once the door had closed behind the last of them and the glow of the lanterns had faded away, Mole and Rat stoked the fire, pulled their chairs closer, made themselves one last drink of spiced ale, and talked about the events of the long day. Finally, Rat let out a big yawn and said, "Mole, buddy, I’m ready to collapse. Sleepy doesn’t even cover it. Is that your bed over there? Great, I’ll take this one. What a fantastic little house this is! Everything is so convenient!" [Pg 136]
He clambered into his bunk and rolled himself well up in the blankets, and slumber gathered him forthwith, as a swathe of barley is folded into the arms of the reaping machine.
He climbed into his bunk and wrapped himself snugly in the blankets, and sleep quickly took over him, just like a swath of barley is pulled into the arms of a reaping machine.
The weary Mole also was glad to turn in without delay, and soon had his head on his pillow, in great joy and contentment. But ere he closed his eyes he let them wander round his old room, mellow in the glow of the firelight that played or rested on familiar and friendly things which had long been unconsciously a part of him, and now smilingly received him back, without rancour. He was now in just the frame of mind that the tactful Rat had quietly worked to bring about in him. He saw clearly how plain and simple—how narrow, even—it all was; but clearly, too, how much it all meant to him, and the special value of some such anchorage in one's existence. He did not at all want to abandon the new life and its splendid spaces, to turn his back on sun and air and all they offered him and creep home and stay there; the upper world was all too strong, it called to him still, even down there, and he [Pg 137] knew he must return to the larger stage. But it was good to think he had this to come back to, this place which was all his own, these things which were so glad to see him again and could always be counted upon for the same simple welcome. [Pg 138] [Pg 139]
The tired Mole was happy to settle in right away, and soon his head was on the pillow, feeling joyful and content. But before he closed his eyes, he let them wander around his old room, warm in the glow of the firelight that flickered on familiar and friendly things that had long been a natural part of him, now welcoming him back with a smile, without any bitterness. He was in exactly the right mindset that the thoughtful Rat had subtly helped him reach. He realized how plain and simple—how even narrow—it all was; but he also understood how much it meant to him and the special value of having such a stable point in his life. He definitely didn't want to give up the new life and its wonderful expanses, to turn his back on the sun and air and everything they offered him and slink back home to stay; the upper world was too compelling, it still called to him, even down there, and he knew he had to return to the bigger stage. But it was nice to know he had this place to come back to, this place that was all his own, these things that were so happy to see him again and would always be there with the same simple welcome.
IT was a bright morning in the early part of summer; the river had resumed its wonted banks and its accustomed pace, and a hot sun seemed to be pulling everything green and bushy and spiky up out of the earth towards him, as if by strings. The Mole and the Water Rat had been up since dawn, very busy on matters connected with boats and the opening of the boating season; painting and varnishing, mending paddles, repairing cushions, hunting for missing boat-hooks, and so on; and were finishing breakfast in their little parlour and eagerly discussing their plans for the day, when a heavy knock sounded at the door.
It was a bright morning in early summer; the river had returned to its usual banks and its regular flow, and a hot sun seemed to be lifting everything green, bushy, and spiky out of the ground towards it, almost like on strings. The Mole and the Water Rat had been up since dawn, busy with everything related to boats and the start of the boating season: painting and varnishing, fixing paddles, repairing cushions, searching for missing boat-hooks, and so on; they were finishing breakfast in their little parlor and excitedly discussing their plans for the day when a loud knock echoed at the door.
"Bother!" said the Rat, all over egg. "See who it is, Mole, like a good chap, since you've finished." [Pg 142]
"Bother!" said the Rat, covered in egg. "Check who it is, Mole, since you’re done, will you?" [Pg 142]
The Mole went to attend the summons, and the Rat heard him utter a cry of surprise. Then he flung the parlour door open, and announced with much importance, "Mr. Badger!"
The Mole went to respond to the call, and the Rat heard him let out a surprised shout. Then he threw open the parlor door and announced with great importance, "Mr. Badger!"
This was a wonderful thing, indeed, that the Badger should pay a formal call on them, or indeed on anybody. He generally had to be caught, if you wanted him badly, as he slipped quietly along a hedgerow of an early morning or a late evening, or else hunted up in his own house in the middle of the Wood, which was a serious undertaking.
This was truly remarkable that the Badger would make a formal visit to them, or really anyone. Usually, you had to catch him if you wanted to see him, as he would sneak quietly along a hedgerow in the early morning or late evening, or you’d have to track him down in his home deep in the Wood, which was quite a task.
The Badger strode heavily into the room, and stood looking at the two animals with an expression full of seriousness. The Rat let his egg-spoon fall on the table-cloth, and sat open-mouthed.
The Badger walked into the room with a heavy step and stared at the two animals with a serious expression. The Rat dropped his egg spoon onto the tablecloth and sat there with his mouth hanging open.
"The hour has come!" said the Badger at last with great solemnity.
"The time has come!" said the Badger finally with great seriousness.
"What hour?" asked the Rat uneasily, glancing at the clock on the mantelpiece.
"What time?" asked the Rat nervously, checking the clock on the mantel.
"Whose hour, you should rather say," replied the Badger. "Why, Toad's hour! The hour of Toad! I said I would take him in hand as [Pg 143] soon as the winter was well over, and I'm going to take him in hand to-day!"
"Whose hour, you'd say instead," replied the Badger. "Well, it's Toad's hour! The hour of Toad! I said I would deal with him once winter was really over, and I'm going to do that today!"
"Toad's hour, of course!" cried the Mole delightedly. "Hooray! I remember now! We'll teach him to be a sensible Toad!"
"Toad's time, of course!" shouted the Mole happily. "Hooray! I remember now! We'll teach him to be a sensible Toad!"
"This very morning," continued the Badger, taking an arm-chair, "as I learnt last night from a trustworthy source, another new and exceptionally powerful motor-car will arrive at Toad Hall on approval or return. At this very moment, perhaps, Toad is busy arraying himself in those singularly hideous habiliments so dear to him, which transform him from a (comparatively) good-looking Toad into an Object which throws any decent-minded animal that comes across it into a violent fit. We must be up and doing, ere it is too late. You two animals will accompany me instantly to Toad Hall, and the work of rescue shall be accomplished."
"This morning," the Badger said as he settled into an armchair, "I learned last night from a reliable source that another brand-new, incredibly powerful car will be arriving at Toad Hall for a trial. Right now, Toad is probably getting dressed in those ridiculously ugly clothes that he loves so much, which change him from a (relatively) good-looking toad into something that would make any respectable animal who sees it have a meltdown. We need to act quickly before it’s too late. You two will come with me to Toad Hall right away, and we’ll save him."
"Right you are!" cried the Rat, starting up. "We'll rescue the poor unhappy animal! We'll convert him! He'll be the most converted Toad that ever was before we've done with him!" [Pg 144]
"Absolutely!" exclaimed the Rat, jumping up. "We'll save that poor miserable creature! We'll change him! He'll be the most changed Toad ever by the time we're done with him!" [Pg 144]
They set off up the road on their mission of mercy, Badger leading the way. Animals when in company walk in a proper and sensible manner, in single file, instead of sprawling all across the road and being of no use or support to each other in case of sudden trouble or danger.
They started up the road on their mission of mercy, with Badger leading the way. When animals are together, they walk in a proper and sensible manner, in a single file, instead of spreading out across the road and being no help or support to each other in case of sudden trouble or danger.
They reached the carriage-drive of Toad Hall to find, as Badger had anticipated, a shiny new motor-car, of great size, painted a bright red (Toad's favourite colour), standing in front of the house. As they neared the door it was flung open, and Mr. Toad, arrayed in goggles, cap, gaiters, and enormous overcoat, came swaggering down the steps, drawing on his gauntleted gloves.
They arrived at the driveway of Toad Hall to see, just as Badger had expected, a huge, shiny new car painted a bright red (Toad's favorite color) sitting in front of the house. As they got closer to the door, it swung open, and Mr. Toad, dressed in goggles, a cap, gaiters, and an oversized coat, strutted down the steps, pulling on his gauntleted gloves.
"Hullo! come on, you fellows!" he cried cheerfully on catching sight of them. "You're just in time to come with me for a jolly—to come for a jolly—for a—er—jolly—"
"Hey! Come on, you guys!" he shouted happily when he saw them. "You’re just in time to join me for a fun outing—to come for a fun outing—for a—um—a fun outing—"
His hearty accents faltered and fell away as he noticed the stern unbending look on the countenances of his silent friends, and his invitation remained unfinished. [Pg 145]
His cheerful tone weakened and disappeared as he saw the hard, unwavering expressions on the faces of his quiet friends, and his invitation went unfinished. [Pg 145]
The Badger strode up the steps. "Take him inside," he said sternly to his companions. Then, as Toad was hustled through the door, struggling and protesting, he turned to the chauffeur in charge of the new motor-car.
The Badger walked up the steps. "Take him inside," he said firmly to his friends. Then, as Toad was pushed through the door, struggling and complaining, he turned to the chauffeur in charge of the new car.
"I'm afraid you won't be wanted to-day," he said. "Mr. Toad has changed his mind. He will not require the car. Please understand that this is final. You needn't wait." Then he followed the others inside and shut the door.
"I'm sorry, but you're not needed today," he said. "Mr. Toad has changed his mind. He won't be needing the car. Please know this is final. You don't have to wait." Then he went inside with the others and closed the door.
"Now then!" he said to the Toad, when the four of them stood together in the Hall, "first of all, take those ridiculous things off!"
"Alright then!" he said to the Toad, when the four of them were standing together in the Hall, "first of all, take off those silly things!"
"Shan't!" replied Toad, with great spirit. "What is the meaning of this gross outrage? I demand an instant explanation."
"Won't!" replied Toad, with a lot of energy. "What does this outrageous act mean? I want an explanation right now."
"Take them off him, then, you two," ordered the Badger briefly.
"Take them off him, then, you two," the Badger said sharply.
They had to lay Toad out on the floor, kicking and calling all sorts of names, before they could get to work properly. Then the Rat sat on him, and the Mole got his motor-clothes off him bit by bit, and they stood him up on his legs again. A good deal of his blustering spirit [Pg 146] seemed to have evaporated with the removal of his fine panoply. Now that he was merely Toad, and no longer the Terror of the Highway, he giggled feebly and looked from one to the other appealingly, seeming quite to understand the situation.
They had to lay Toad out on the floor, kicking and calling him all sorts of names before they could get to work properly. Then the Rat sat on him, and the Mole took off his fancy clothes piece by piece, and they stood him up on his legs again. A lot of his blustering spirit seemed to have faded away with the removal of his flashy outfit. Now that he was just Toad, and no longer the Terror of the Highway, he giggled weakly and looked from one to the other with an understanding expression, seeming to fully grasp the situation. [Pg 146]
"You knew it must come to this, sooner or later, Toad," the Badger explained severely. "You've disregarded all the warnings we've given you, you've gone on squandering the money your father left you, and you're getting us animals a bad name in the district by your furious driving and your smashes and your rows with the police. Independence is all very well, but we animals never allow our friends to make fools of themselves beyond a certain limit; and that limit you've reached. Now, you're a good fellow in many respects, and I don't want to be too hard on you. I'll make one more effort to bring you to reason. You will come with me into the smoking-room, and there you will hear some facts about yourself; and we'll see whether you come out of that room the same Toad that you went in." [Pg 147]
"You knew this had to happen eventually, Toad," the Badger said firmly. "You've ignored all the warnings we've given you, wasted the money your father left you, and you're making us animals look bad in the neighborhood with your reckless driving, accidents, and run-ins with the police. Independence is great, but we animals won't stand by and watch our friends make complete fools of themselves; you've hit that point. Now, you're a decent guy in many ways, and I don't want to be too harsh. I'll make one last attempt to get through to you. You're coming with me to the smoking room, where you'll hear some truths about yourself; let's see if you come out of that room the same Toad who went in." [Pg 147]
He took Toad firmly by the arm, led him into the smoking-room, and closed the door behind them.
He grabbed Toad by the arm, brought him into the smoking room, and shut the door behind them.
"That's no good!" said the Rat contemptuously. "Talking to Toad'll never cure him. He'll say anything."
"That's not good!" said the Rat with disdain. "Talking to Toad won't ever fix him. He'll say anything."
They made themselves comfortable in arm-chairs and waited patiently. Through the closed door they could just hear the long continuous drone of the Badger's voice, rising and falling in waves of oratory; and presently they noticed that the sermon began to be punctuated at intervals by long-drawn sobs, evidently proceeding from the bosom of Toad, who was a soft-hearted and affectionate fellow, very easily converted—for the time being—to any point of view.
They settled into armchairs and waited patiently. Through the closed door, they could faintly hear the Badger's voice, a long, steady drone that rose and fell like waves; soon they noticed that the sermon was occasionally interrupted by long, drawn-out sobs, clearly coming from Toad, who was a soft-hearted and affectionate guy, easily swayed—at least for the moment—by any perspective.
After some three-quarters of an hour the door opened, and the Badger reappeared, solemnly leading by the paw a very limp and dejected Toad. His skin hung baggily about him, his legs wobbled, and his cheeks were furrowed by the tears so plentifully called forth by the Badger's moving discourse. [Pg 148]
After about forty-five minutes, the door opened, and the Badger came back, seriously leading a very limp and downcast Toad by the paw. His skin hung loosely, his legs wobbled, and his cheeks were lined with the tears that the Badger's heartfelt speech had brought out. [Pg 148]
"Sit down there, Toad," said the Badger kindly, pointing to a chair. "My friends," he went on, "I am pleased to inform you that Toad has at last seen the error of his ways. He is truly sorry for his misguided conduct in the past, and he has undertaken to give up motor-cars entirely and for ever. I have his solemn promise to that effect."
"Have a seat over there, Toad," said the Badger kindly, pointing to a chair. "My friends," he continued, "I’m happy to tell you that Toad has finally recognized his mistakes. He genuinely regrets his past behavior, and he has committed to completely giving up motor cars once and for all. I have his serious promise about that."
"That is very good news," said the Mole gravely.
"That's great news," said the Mole seriously.
"Very good news indeed," observed the Rat dubiously, "if only—if only—"
"Really great news," the Rat said skeptically, "if only—if only—"
He was looking very hard at Toad as he said this, and could not help thinking he perceived something vaguely resembling a twinkle in that animal's still sorrowful eye.
He was staring intently at Toad as he said this, and couldn’t shake the feeling that he saw something vaguely like a sparkle in that animal's otherwise sad eye.
"There's only one thing more to be done," continued the gratified Badger. "Toad, I want you solemnly to repeat, before your friends here, what you fully admitted to me in the smoking-room just now. First, you are sorry for what you've done, and you see the folly of it all?"
"There's only one more thing to do," the pleased Badger said. "Toad, I want you to seriously repeat, in front of your friends here, what you just admitted to me in the smoking room. First, you regret what you did, and you understand how foolish it all was?"
There was a long, long pause. Toad looked desperately this way and that, while the other [Pg 149] animals waited in grave silence. At last he spoke.
There was a long, long pause. Toad looked desperately around, while the other [Pg 149] animals waited in serious silence. Finally, he spoke.
"No!" he said, a little sullenly, but stoutly; "I'm not sorry. And it wasn't folly at all! It was simply glorious!"
"No!" he said, a bit sulkily, but firmly; "I'm not sorry. And it wasn't foolishness at all! It was just amazing!"
"What?" cried the Badger, greatly scandalised. "You backsliding animal, didn't you tell me just now, in there—"
"What?" shouted the Badger, totally shocked. "You backsliding creature, didn’t you just tell me in there—"
"Oh, yes, yes, in there," said Toad impatiently. "I'd have said anything in there. You're so eloquent, dear Badger, and so moving, and so convincing, and put all your points so frightfully well—you can do what you like with me in there, and you know it. But I've been searching my mind since, and going over things in it, and I find that I'm not a bit sorry or repentant really, so it's no earthly good saying I am; now, is it?"
"Oh, yes, yes, in there," said Toad impatiently. "I'd have agreed to anything in there. You're so eloquent, dear Badger, and so moving, and so convincing, and you present all your points so incredibly well—you can do whatever you want with me in there, and you know that. But I've been thinking about this since then, and reflecting on everything in my mind, and I realize that I'm not a bit sorry or regretful really, so there's no point in saying I am; right?"
"Then you don't promise," said the Badger, "never to touch a motor-car again?"
"Then you’re not promising," said the Badger, "to never touch a car again?"
"Certainly not!" replied Toad emphatically. "On the contrary, I faithfully promise that the very first motor-car I see, poop-poop! off I go in it!" [Pg 150]
"Absolutely not!" Toad replied firmly. "In fact, I promise that the very first motorcar I see, vroom-vroom! I'm off in it!" [Pg 150]
"Told you so, didn't I?" observed the Rat to the Mole.
"Told you so, didn't I?" the Rat said to the Mole.
"Very well, then," said the Badger firmly, rising to his feet. "Since you won't yield to persuasion, we'll try what force can do. I feared it would come to this all along. You've often asked us three to come and stay with you, Toad, in this handsome house of yours; well, now we're going to. When we've converted you to a proper point of view we may quit, but not before. Take him upstairs, you two, and lock him up in his bedroom, while we arrange matters between ourselves."
"Alright then," the Badger said firmly, getting to his feet. "Since you won't listen to reason, we'll see what force can do. I was worried it would come to this all along. You've often invited us three to stay with you, Toad, in your beautiful house; well, now we’re going to. Once we’ve helped you see things the right way, we might leave, but not before. You two, take him upstairs and lock him in his bedroom while we sort things out among ourselves."
"It's for your own good, Toady, you know," said the Rat kindly, as Toad, kicking and struggling, was hauled up the stairs by his two faithful friends. "Think what fun we shall all have together, just as we used to, when you've quite got over this—this painful attack of yours!"
"It's for your own good, Toady, you know," said the Rat kindly, as Toad, kicking and struggling, was dragged up the stairs by his two loyal friends. "Just think about how much fun we'll have together again, just like we used to, once you get completely over this—this tough situation you're in!"
"We'll take great care of everything for you till you're well, Toad," said the Mole; "and we'll see your money isn't wasted, as it has been." [Pg 151]
"We'll take good care of everything for you until you get better, Toad," said the Mole; "and we'll make sure your money doesn't go to waste like it has before." [Pg 151]
"No more of those regrettable incidents with the police, Toad," said the Rat, as they thrust him into his bedroom.
"No more of those embarrassing run-ins with the cops, Toad," said the Rat, as they pushed him into his bedroom.
"And no more weeks in hospital, being ordered about by female nurses, Toad," added the Mole, turning the key on him.
"And no more weeks in the hospital, being bossed around by female nurses, Toad," added the Mole, locking him in.
They descended the stair, Toad shouting abuse at them through the keyhole; and the three friends then met in conference on the situation.
They went down the stairs, Toad yelling insults at them through the keyhole; and the three friends then gathered to discuss the situation.
"It's going to be a tedious business," said the Badger, sighing. "I've never seen Toad so determined. However, we will see it out. He must never be left an instant unguarded. We shall have to take it in turns to be with him, till the poison has worked itself out of his system."
"It's going to be a boring task," said the Badger, sighing. "I've never seen Toad so determined. But we will see it through. He can't be left alone for a second. We'll have to take turns staying with him until the poison is out of his system."
They arranged watches accordingly. Each animal took it in turns to sleep in Toad's room at night, and they divided the day up between them. At first Toad was undoubtedly very trying to his careful guardians. When his violent paroxysms possessed him he would arrange [Pg 152] bedroom chairs in rude resemblance of a motor-car and would crouch on the foremost of them, bent forward and staring fixedly ahead, making uncouth and ghastly noises, till the climax was reached, when, turning a complete somersault, he would lie prostrate amidst the ruins of the chairs, apparently completely satisfied for the moment. As time passed, however, these painful seizures grew gradually less frequent, and his friends strove to divert his mind into fresh channels. But his interest in other matters did not seem to revive, and he grew apparently languid and depressed.
They set up a watch schedule. Each animal took turns sleeping in Toad's room at night, and they split the daytime hours among themselves. At first, Toad was definitely very frustrating to his diligent guardians. When his intense outbursts took over, he would rearrange bedroom chairs to look like a car and crouch on the front one, leaning forward and staring straight ahead, making strange and creepy noises until he reached a peak moment, when he would flip completely over and lie sprawled among the wreckage of the chairs, seemingly completely satisfied for the time being. As time went on, though, these troubling episodes became less frequent, and his friends tried to distract him with new activities. However, his interest in other things didn’t seem to pick up, and he appeared to grow weak and downcast.
One fine morning the Rat, whose turn it was to go on duty, went upstairs to relieve Badger, whom he found fidgeting to be off and stretch his legs in a long ramble round his wood and down his earths and burrows. "Toad's still in bed," he told the Rat, outside the door. "Can't get much out of him, except, 'O leave him alone, he wants nothing, perhaps he'll be better presently, it may pass off in time, don't be unduly anxious,' and so on. Now, you look out, Rat! When Toad's quiet and submissive, [Pg 153] and playing at being the hero of a Sunday-school prize, then he's at his artfullest. There's sure to be something up. I know him. Well, now, I must be off."
One beautiful morning, the Rat, who was on duty, went upstairs to take over for Badger, who was fidgeting and eager to get outside for a long walk around his woods and through his burrows. "Toad's still in bed," he told the Rat as he stood by the door. "Can't get much out of him, except, 'Oh, leave him alone, he doesn't want anything, maybe he'll feel better soon, it might pass in time, don't worry too much,' and so on. Now, watch out, Rat! When Toad's quiet and compliant, acting all virtuous like he's in a Sunday school play, that's when he's the most cunning. There's definitely something going on. I know him. Well, I have to go now."
"How are you to-day, old chap?" inquired the Rat cheerfully, as he approached Toad's bedside.
"How are you today, old friend?" the Rat asked cheerfully as he walked up to Toad's bedside.
He had to wait some minutes for an answer. At last a feeble voice replied, "Thank you so much, dear Ratty! So good of you to inquire! But first tell me how you are yourself, and the excellent Mole?"
He had to wait a few minutes for a response. Finally, a weak voice answered, "Thank you so much, dear Ratty! It's so kind of you to ask! But first, tell me how you are doing and how the wonderful Mole is?"
"O, we're all right," replied the Rat. "Mole," he added incautiously, "is going out for a run round with Badger. They'll be out till luncheon time, so you and I will spend a pleasant morning together, and I'll do my best to amuse you. Now jump up, there's a good fellow, and don't lie moping there on a fine morning like this!"
"Oh, we're all good," replied the Rat. "Mole," he added carelessly, "is heading out for a run with Badger. They'll be gone until lunchtime, so you and I can enjoy a nice morning together, and I'll do my best to entertain you. Now get up, be a good sport, and don't just lie around feeling sorry for yourself on such a nice morning!"
"Dear, kind Rat," murmured Toad, "how little you realise my condition, and how very far I am from 'jumping up' now—if ever! But do not trouble about me. I hate being a burden to my friends, and I do not expect to be one much longer. Indeed, I almost hope not." [Pg 154]
"Dear, sweet Rat," Toad said softly, "you have no idea how I’m feeling, and how far I am from 'bouncing back' now—if I ever will! But don’t worry about me. I hate being a burden to my friends, and I don’t expect to be one for much longer. Honestly, I almost hope I won’t be." [Pg 154]
"Well, I hope not, too," said the Rat heartily. "You've been a fine bother to us all this time, and I'm glad to hear it's going to stop. And in weather like this, and the boating season just beginning! It's too bad of you, Toad! It isn't the trouble we mind, but you're making us miss such an awful lot."
"Well, I hope not either," said the Rat enthusiastically. "You've been quite a hassle for us all this time, and I'm happy to hear that's coming to an end. With the weather like this and the boating season just starting! It's really inconsiderate of you, Toad! It's not just the trouble we mind; you're making us miss out on so much fun."
"I'm afraid it is the trouble you mind, though," replied the Toad languidly. "I can quite understand it. It's natural enough. You're tired of bothering about me. I mustn't ask you to do anything further. I'm a nuisance, I know."
"I'm afraid it is the trouble you care about, though," replied the Toad wearily. "I completely get it. It's totally understandable. You're tired of worrying about me. I shouldn't ask you to do anything more. I'm a burden, I know."
"You are, indeed," said the Rat. "But I tell you, I'd take any trouble on earth for you, if only you'd be a sensible animal."
"You really are," said the Rat. "But I swear, I'd go through any trouble for you if you would just be a smart animal."
"If I thought that, Ratty," murmured Toad, more feebly than ever, "then I would beg you—for the last time, probably—to step round to the village as quickly as possible—even now it may be too late—and fetch the doctor. But don't you bother. It's only a trouble, and perhaps we may as well let things take their course."
"If I thought that, Ratty," said Toad, sounding weaker than ever, "then I would ask you—for what’s probably the last time—to run over to the village as fast as you can—even now it might be too late—and get the doctor. But don’t worry about it. It’s just a hassle, and maybe we should just let things happen as they will."
"Why, what do you want a doctor for?" [Pg 155] inquired the Rat, coming closer and examining him. He certainly lay very still and flat, and his voice was weaker and his manner much changed.
"Why do you need a doctor?" [Pg 155] asked the Rat, getting closer and checking him out. He really was lying very still and flat, and his voice was weaker, and his attitude was noticeably different.
"Surely you have noticed of late—" murmured Toad. "But, no—why should you? Noticing things is only a trouble. To-morrow, indeed, you may be saying to yourself, 'O, if only I had noticed sooner! If only I had done something!' But no; it's a trouble. Never mind—forget that I asked."
"Surely you've noticed lately—" murmured Toad. "But, no—why would you? Noticing things is just a hassle. Tomorrow, you might catch yourself thinking, 'Oh, if only I had noticed sooner! If only I had done something!' But no; it's a hassle. Never mind—forget that I asked."
"Look here, old man," said the Rat, beginning to get rather alarmed, "of course I'll fetch a doctor to you, if you really think you want him. But you can hardly be bad enough for that yet. Let's talk about something else."
"Listen, old man," said the Rat, starting to feel pretty worried, "I’ll definitely get a doctor for you if you really think you need one. But you can’t be that bad off yet. Let’s talk about something else."
"I fear, dear friend," said Toad, with a sad smile, "that 'talk' can do little in a case like this—or doctors either, for that matter; still, one must grasp at the slightest straw. And, by the way—while you are about it—I hate to give you additional trouble, but I happen to remember that you will pass the door—would you mind at the same time asking the lawyer to step up? It would be a convenience to me, [Pg 156] and there are moments—perhaps I should say there is a moment—when one must face disagreeable tasks, at whatever cost to exhausted nature!"
"I’m afraid, dear friend," said Toad, with a sad smile, "that 'talk' won’t help much in a situation like this—or doctors either, for that matter; still, one has to grasp at the smallest bit of hope. And, by the way—since you’re on your way—I hate to trouble you more, but I just remembered that you’ll pass the door—could you also ask the lawyer to come up? It would really help me out, and there are times—maybe just this one time—when you have to deal with unpleasant tasks, no matter the toll it takes on you!"
"A lawyer! O, he must be really bad!" the affrighted Rat said to himself, as he hurried from the room, not forgetting, however, to lock the door carefully behind him.
"A lawyer! Oh, he must be really bad!" the terrified Rat said to himself as he rushed out of the room, making sure to lock the door carefully behind him.
Outside, he stopped to consider. The other two were far away, and he had no one to consult.
Outside, he paused to think. The other two were far off, and he had no one to talk to.
"It's best to be on the safe side," he said, on reflection. "I've known Toad fancy himself frightfully bad before, without the slightest reason; but I've never heard him ask for a lawyer! If there's nothing really the matter, the doctor will tell him he's an old ass, and cheer him up; and that will be something gained. I'd better humour him and go; it won't take very long." So he ran off to the village on his errand of mercy.
"It's better to be safe than sorry," he said, thinking it over. "I've seen Toad think he's in big trouble before, and usually without any real cause; but I've never seen him ask for a lawyer! If there's nothing seriously wrong, the doctor will just tell him he's being silly and lift his spirits; and that will be a win. I might as well go along with him; it won't take too long." So he hurried off to the village to help out.
The Toad, who had hopped lightly out of bed as soon as he heard the key turned in the lock, watched him eagerly from the window till he disappeared down the carriage-drive. Then, laughing heartily, he dressed as quickly as possible in the smartest suit he could lay hands on [Pg 157] at the moment, filled his pockets with cash which he took from a small drawer in the dressing-table, and next, knotting the sheets from his bed together and tying one end of the improvised rope round the central mullion of the handsome Tudor window which formed such a feature of his bedroom, he scrambled out, slid lightly to the ground, and, taking the opposite direction to the Rat, marched off light-heartedly, whistling a merry tune.
The Toad, who had jumped out of bed as soon as he heard the key turn in the lock, eagerly watched him from the window until he disappeared down the driveway. Then, laughing loudly, he quickly got dressed in the smartest suit he could find at that moment, filled his pockets with cash from a small drawer in the dresser, and then, tying the sheets from his bed together and securing one end of his makeshift rope around the central mullion of the stunning Tudor window that was such a feature of his bedroom, he scrambled out, slid easily to the ground, and, going in the opposite direction from the Rat, happily marched off, whistling a cheerful tune. [Pg 157]
It was a gloomy luncheon for Rat when the Badger and the Mole at length returned, and he had to face them at table with his pitiful and unconvincing story. The Badger's caustic, not to say brutal, remarks may be imagined, and therefore passed over; but it was painful to the Rat that even the Mole, though he took his friend's side as far as possible, could not help saying, "You've been a bit of a duffer this time, Ratty! Toad, too, of all animals!"
It was a dreary lunch for Rat when the Badger and the Mole finally came back, and he had to face them at the table with his weak and unconvincing story. The Badger's sharp, if not harsh, comments can be imagined, so we'll skip those; but it hurt Rat that even the Mole, although he supported his friend as much as he could, couldn’t help but say, "You've really messed up this time, Ratty! Toad, of all animals!"
"He did it awfully well," said the crestfallen Rat.
"He did it really well," said the disappointed Rat.
"He did you awfully well!" rejoined the [Pg 158] Badger hotly. "However, talking won't mend matters. He's got clear away for the time, that's certain; and the worst of it is, he'll be so conceited with what he'll think is his cleverness that he may commit any folly. One comfort is, we're free now, and needn't waste any more of our precious time doing sentry-go. But we'd better continue to sleep at Toad Hall for a while longer. Toad may be brought back at any moment—on a stretcher, or between two policemen."
"He did you really well!" replied the Badger angrily. "But talking won't fix anything. He's gone for now, that's for sure; and the worst part is, he'll be so full of himself thinking he's clever that he might do something really foolish. One good thing is, we're free now and don't have to waste any more of our precious time keeping watch. But we should probably stay at Toad Hall a bit longer. Toad could be brought back at any moment—on a stretcher or flanked by two cops."
So spoke the Badger, not knowing what the future held in store, or how much water, and of how turbid a character, was to run under bridges before Toad should sit at ease again in his ancestral Hall.
So said the Badger, not knowing what the future had in store, or how much water, and how muddy it would be, would flow under bridges before Toad could relax again in his family home.
Meanwhile, Toad, gay and irresponsible, was walking briskly along the high road, some miles from home. At first he had taken by-paths, and crossed many fields, and changed his course several times, in case of pursuit; but now, feeling by this time safe from recapture, and the sun smiling brightly on him, and all Nature [Pg 159] joining in a chorus of approval to the song of self-praise that his own heart was singing to him, he almost danced along the road in his satisfaction and conceit.
Meanwhile, Toad, carefree and reckless, was walking quickly along the main road, a few miles from home. At first, he had taken back roads, crossed many fields, and changed his direction several times to avoid being caught; but now, feeling safe from being captured, with the sun shining brightly on him and all of nature [Pg 159] joining in a chorus of approval to the song of self-praise his heart was singing, he almost danced down the road in his satisfaction and pride.
"Smart piece of work that!" he remarked to himself chuckling. "Brain against brute force—and brain came out on the top—as it's bound to do. Poor old Ratty! My! won't he catch it when the Badger gets back! A worthy fellow, Ratty, with many good qualities, but very little intelligence and absolutely no education. I must take him in hand some day, and see if I can make something of him."
"That was a clever move!" he said to himself with a chuckle. "Brains over brawn—and brains won out in the end, as they always should. Poor Ratty! Wow, he's really going to be in trouble when Badger gets back! Ratty's a good guy with a lot of good traits, but he has no smarts and zero education. I really should take him under my wing someday and see if I can help him out."
Filled full of conceited thoughts such as these he strode along, his head in the air, till he reached a little town, where the sign of "The Red Lion," swinging across the road half-way down the main street, reminded him that he had not breakfasted that day, and that he was exceedingly hungry after his long walk. He marched into the Inn, ordered the best luncheon that could be provided at so short a notice, and sat down to eat it in the coffee-room.
Filled with self-important thoughts like these, he walked confidently, his head held high, until he reached a small town. The sign for "The Red Lion," swinging across the road halfway down the main street, reminded him that he hadn't had breakfast that day and was very hungry after his long walk. He entered the inn, ordered the best lunch they could prepare on short notice, and sat down to eat in the coffee room.
He was about half-way through his meal when [Pg 160] an only too familiar sound, approaching down the street, made him start and fall a-trembling all over. The poop-poop! drew nearer and nearer, the car could be heard to turn into the inn-yard and come to a stop, and Toad had to hold on to the leg of the table to conceal his over-mastering emotion. Presently the party entered the coffee-room, hungry, talkative, and gay, voluble on their experiences of the morning and the merits of the chariot that had brought them along so well. Toad listened eagerly, all ears, for a time; at last he could stand it no longer. He slipped out of the room quietly, paid his bill at the bar, and as soon as he got outside sauntered round quietly to the inn-yard. "There cannot be any harm," he said to himself, "in my only just looking at it!"
He was about halfway through his meal when [Pg 160] a very familiar sound coming down the street made him jump and tremble all over. The sound of 'poop-poop!' got louder and louder as the car turned into the inn yard and stopped, and Toad had to grip the leg of the table to hide his overwhelming emotions. Soon, the group entered the coffee room, hungry, chatty, and cheerful, excitedly sharing their experiences from the morning and praising the vehicle that had brought them here so comfortably. Toad listened intently for a while; eventually, he couldn’t take it any longer. He quietly slipped out of the room, paid his bill at the bar, and as soon as he was outside, he casually walked around to the inn yard. "There can't be any harm," he told himself, "in just looking at it!"
The car stood in the middle of the yard, quite unattended, the stable-helps and other hangers-on being all at their dinner. Toad walked slowly round it, inspecting, criticising, musing deeply.
The car was sitting in the middle of the yard, completely alone, while the stable hands and other hangers-on were all having their dinner. Toad walked around it slowly, inspecting it, critiquing it, and thinking hard.
"I wonder," he said to himself presently, "I wonder if this sort of car starts easily?" [Pg 161]
"I wonder," he said to himself, "I wonder if this kind of car starts easily?" [Pg 161]
Next moment, hardly knowing how it came about, he found he had hold of the handle and was turning it. As the familiar sound broke forth, the old passion seized on Toad and completely mastered him, body and soul. As if in a dream he found himself, somehow, seated in the driver's seat; as if in a dream, he pulled the lever and swung the car round the yard and out through the archway; and, as if in a dream, all sense of right and wrong, all fear of obvious consequences, seemed temporarily suspended. He increased his pace, and as the car devoured the street and leapt forth on the high road through the open country, he was only conscious that he was Toad once more, Toad at his best and highest, Toad the terror, the traffic-queller, the Lord of the lone trail, before whom all must give way or be smitten into nothingness and everlasting night. He chanted as he flew, and the car responded with sonorous drone; the miles were eaten up under him as he sped he knew not whither, fulfilling his instincts, living his hour, reckless of what might come to him.
In the next moment, barely aware of how it happened, he realized he was holding the handle and turning it. As the familiar sound erupted, the old passion grabbed Toad and took complete control of him, body and soul. It was as if he were in a dream; somehow, he found himself seated in the driver's seat. Like a dream, he pulled the lever and swung the car around the yard and out through the archway. And, as if in a dream, all sense of right and wrong and all fear of obvious consequences seemed to vanish for a moment. He picked up speed, and as the car devoured the street and raced out onto the open road, he was only aware that he was Toad once more—Toad at his best, Toad the terror, the traffic-stopper, the ruler of the open trail, before whom everyone had to yield or be swept away into oblivion and endless night. He sang as he flew, and the car responded with a deep roar; the miles flew by beneath him as he sped off, not knowing where he was headed, following his instincts, living in the moment, carefree about what might come next.
"To my mind," observed the Chairman of the Bench of Magistrates cheerfully, "the only difficulty that presents itself in this otherwise very clear case is, how we can possibly make it sufficiently hot for the incorrigible rogue and hardened ruffian whom we see cowering in the dock before us. Let me see: he has been found guilty, on the clearest evidence, first, of stealing a valuable motor-car; secondly, of driving to the public danger; and, thirdly, of gross impertinence to the rural police. Mr. Clerk, will you tell us, please, what is the very stiffest penalty we can impose for each of these offences? Without, of course, giving the prisoner the benefit of any doubt, because there isn't any."
"Honestly," said the Chairman of the Bench of Magistrates with a smile, "the only issue in this otherwise very straightforward case is how we can make it tough enough for the unrepentant criminal and hardened thug who is cowering in the dock before us. Let me think: he has been found guilty, beyond a reasonable doubt, first, of stealing a valuable motor vehicle; second, of driving dangerously; and third, of being incredibly rude to the local police. Mr. Clerk, can you please tell us what the highest penalty we can impose for each of these offenses is? Without, of course, giving the defendant any benefit of the doubt, because there isn’t any."
The Clerk scratched his nose with his pen. "Some people would consider," he observed, "that stealing the motor-car was the worst offence; and so it is. But cheeking the police undoubtedly carries the severest penalty; and so it ought. Supposing you were to say twelve months for the theft, which is mild; and three years for the furious driving, which is lenient; and fifteen years for the cheek, which was pretty [Pg 163] bad sort of cheek, judging by what we've heard from the witness-box, even if you only believe one-tenth part of what you heard, and I never believe more myself—those figures, if added together correctly, tot up to nineteen years—"
The Clerk scratched his nose with his pen. "Some people might think," he said, "that stealing the car is the worst offense; and it is. But disrespecting the police definitely comes with the toughest penalty; and it should. Let's say you get twelve months for the theft, which is light; and three years for reckless driving, which is pretty lenient; and fifteen years for the disrespect, which was a pretty bad kind of disrespect, judging by what we've heard from the witness stand, even if you only believe a tenth of what you heard, and I never believe more myself—those numbers, if you add them up correctly, come to nineteen years—"
"First-rate!" said the Chairman.
"Awesome!" said the Chairman.
"—So you had better make it a round twenty years and be on the safe side," concluded the Clerk.
"—So you should just make it a full twenty years to be safe," finished the Clerk.
"An excellent suggestion!" said the Chairman approvingly. "Prisoner! Pull yourself together and try and stand up straight. It's going to be twenty years for you this time. And mind, if you appear before us again, upon any charge whatever, we shall have to deal with you very seriously!"
"Great suggestion!" the Chairman said, nodding in approval. "Prisoner! Get a grip and try to stand up straight. You're looking at twenty years this time. And remember, if you come before us again on any charge, we'll have to take serious action!"
Then the brutal minions of the law fell upon the hapless Toad; loaded him with chains, and dragged him from the Court House, shrieking, praying, protesting; across the market-place, where the playful populace, always as severe upon detected crime as they are sympathetic and helpful when one is merely "wanted," [Pg 164] assailed him with jeers, carrots, and popular catch-words; past hooting school children, their innocent faces lit up with the pleasure they ever derive from the sight of a gentleman in difficulties; across the hollow-sounding drawbridge, below the spiky portcullis, under the frowning archway of the grim old castle, whose ancient towers soared high overhead; past guardrooms full of grinning soldiery off duty, past sentries who coughed in a horrid, sarcastic way, because that is as much as a sentry on his post dare do to show his contempt and abhorrence of crime; up time-worn winding stairs, past men-at-arms in casquet and corselet of steel, darting threatening looks through their vizards; across courtyards, where mastiffs strained at their leash and pawed the air to get at him; past ancient warders, their halberds leant against the wall, dozing over a pasty and a flagon of brown ale; on and on, past the rack-chamber and the thumbscrew-room, past the turning that led to the private scaffold, till they reached the door of the grimmest dungeon that lay in the heart of the innermost keep. There at last they paused, [Pg 165] where an ancient gaoler sat fingering a bunch of mighty keys.
Then the ruthless enforcers of the law descended on the unfortunate Toad; shackled him with chains and dragged him from the courthouse, screaming, begging, and protesting; across the marketplace, where the playful crowd, as harsh on detected crime as they are sympathetic and helpful when someone is just "wanted," attacked him with taunts, carrots, and popular phrases; past jeering school kids, their innocent faces bright with the pleasure they always get from seeing a gentleman in trouble; across the hollow-sounding drawbridge, beneath the spiky portcullis, under the looming archway of the grim old castle, whose ancient towers reached high into the sky; past guardrooms filled with grinning soldiers on break, past sentries who coughed in a horrible, sarcastic way, because that's as much as a sentry on duty can do to express their disdain and disgust towards crime; up the worn winding stairs, past armed men in steel helmets and armor, casting threatening glances through their visors; across courtyards where mastiffs strained at their leashes and pawed the air to get to him; past ancient guards, their halberds resting against the wall, dozing over a pie and a flagon of brown ale; on and on, past the torture chamber and the thumbscrew room, past the turn that led to the private gallows, until they reached the door of the darkest dungeon in the innermost keep. There at last they paused, where an old jailer sat fiddling with a bunch of heavy keys.

"Oddsbodikins!" said the sergeant of police, taking off his helmet and wiping his forehead. "Rouse thee, old loon, and take over from us this vile Toad, a criminal of deepest guilt and matchless artfulness and resource. Watch and ward him with all thy skill; and mark thee well, greybeard, should aught untoward befall, thy old head shall answer for his—and a murrain on both of them!"
"Goodness!" said the police sergeant, taking off his helmet and wiping his forehead. "Wake up, old fool, and take over from us this awful Toad, a criminal with the deepest guilt and unmatched cleverness and resourcefulness. Keep a close eye on him with all your skill; and pay attention, old man, if anything bad happens, you will be held responsible for him—and a plague on both of them!"
The gaoler nodded grimly, laying his withered hand on the shoulder of the miserable Toad. The rusty key creaked in the lock, the great door clanged behind them; and Toad was a helpless prisoner in the remotest dungeon of the best-guarded keep of the stoutest castle in all the length and breadth of Merry England.
The jailer nodded sadly, placing his bony hand on the shoulder of the miserable Toad. The rusty key squeaked as it turned in the lock, and the heavy door slammed shut behind them; Toad was now a helpless prisoner in the farthest dungeon of the most secure keep in the strongest castle across all of Merry England.
THE Willow-Wren was twittering his thin little song, hidden himself in the dark selvedge of the river bank. Though it was past ten o'clock at night, the sky still clung to and retained some lingering skirts of light from the departed day; and the sullen heats of the torrid afternoon broke up and rolled away at the dispersing touch of the cool fingers of the short midsummer night. Mole lay stretched on the bank, still panting from the stress of the fierce day that had been cloudless from dawn to late sunset, and waited for his friend to return. He had been on the river with some companions, leaving the Water Rat free to keep an engagement of long standing with Otter; and he had come back to find the house dark and deserted, and no sign of Rat, who was doubtless keeping [Pg 170] it up late with his old comrade. It was still too hot to think of staying indoors, so he lay on some cool dock-leaves, and thought over the past day and its doings, and how very good they all had been.
The Willow-Wren was singing his soft little song, hiding in the dark edge of the riverbank. Even though it was past ten o'clock at night, the sky still held on to some fading light from the day that had just ended; and the heavy heat of the scorching afternoon faded away as the coolness of the summer night settled in. Mole lay stretched out on the bank, still panting from the intense heat of the cloudless day that lasted from dawn until late sunset, waiting for his friend to return. He had been out on the river with some friends, leaving the Water Rat to keep a long-standing commitment with Otter; and he had come back to find the house dark and empty, with no sign of Rat, who was probably staying up late with his old buddy. It was still too warm to consider staying indoors, so he lay on some cool dock leaves, reflecting on the past day and all its events, and how wonderful they had all been.
The Rat's light footfall was presently heard approaching over the parched grass. "O, the blessed coolness!" he said, and sat down, gazing thoughtfully into the river, silent and pre-occupied.
The Rat's quiet steps were soon heard coming over the dry grass. "Oh, the wonderful coolness!" he said, and sat down, looking thoughtfully into the river, silent and lost in thought.
"You stayed to supper, of course?" said the Mole presently.
"You stayed for dinner, right?" the Mole asked after a moment.
"Simply had to," said the Rat. "They wouldn't hear of my going before. You know how kind they always are. And they made things as jolly for me as ever they could, right up to the moment I left. But I felt a brute all the time, as it was clear to me they were very unhappy, though they tried to hide it. Mole, I'm afraid they're in trouble. Little Portly is missing again; and you know what a lot his father thinks of him, though he never says much about it."
"Had to go," said the Rat. "They wouldn't let me leave before. You know how nice they always are. They made everything as fun for me as they could right until I left. But I felt terrible the whole time because it was obvious they were really upset, even if they tried to hide it. Mole, I'm worried they're in trouble. Little Portly is missing again, and you know how much his dad cares about him, even if he doesn't say much."
"What, that child?" said the Mole lightly. [Pg 171] "Well, suppose he is; why worry about it? He's always straying off and getting lost, and turning up again; he's so adventurous. But no harm ever happens to him. Everybody hereabouts knows him and likes him, just as they do old Otter, and you may be sure some animal or other will come across him and bring him back again all right. Why, we've found him ourselves, miles from home, and quite self-possessed and cheerful!"
"What, that kid?" said the Mole casually. [Pg 171] "Well, even if he is, why stress about it? He’s always wandering off and getting lost, and then showing up again; he’s so adventurous. But nothing ever happens to him. Everyone around here knows him and likes him, just like they do with old Otter, and you can bet some animal will run into him and bring him back safely. In fact, we’ve found him ourselves, way far from home, completely calm and cheerful!"
"Yes; but this time it's more serious," said the Rat gravely. "He's been missing for some days now, and the Otters have hunted everywhere, high and low, without finding the slightest trace. And they've asked every animal, too, for miles around, and no one knows anything about him. Otter's evidently more anxious than he'll admit. I got out of him that young Portly hasn't learnt to swim very well yet, and I can see he's thinking of the weir. There's a lot of water coming down still, considering the time of the year, and the place always had a fascination for the child. And then there are—well, traps and things—you [Pg 172] know. Otter's not the fellow to be nervous about any son of his before it's time. And now he is nervous. When I left, he came out with me—said he wanted some air, and talked about stretching his legs. But I could see it wasn't that, so I drew him out and pumped him, and got it all from him at last. He was going to spend the night watching by the ford. You know the place where the old ford used to be, in by-gone days before they built the bridge?"
"Yeah, but this time it’s more serious," said the Rat solemnly. "He’s been missing for a few days now, and the Otters have looked everywhere, high and low, without finding the slightest trace. They’ve asked every animal for miles, and no one knows anything about him. Otter's clearly more worried than he’ll admit. I found out that young Portly hasn’t learned to swim very well yet, and I can tell he’s thinking about the weir. There’s still a lot of water flowing, considering the time of year, and that place has always intrigued the child. And then there are—well, traps and things—you know. Otter's not the type to get anxious about any of his kids before it’s necessary. And now he *is* anxious. When I left, he came out with me—said he wanted some fresh air and talked about stretching his legs. But I could see it wasn’t just that, so I got him to open up, and eventually got it all out of him. He was going to spend the night watching by the ford. You know the spot where the old ford used to be, back in the day before they built the bridge?"
"I know it well," said the Mole. "But why should Otter choose to watch there?"
"I know it well," said the Mole. "But why would Otter choose to watch there?"
"Well, it seems that it was there he gave Portly his first swimming-lesson," continued the Rat. "From that shallow, gravelly spit near the bank. And it was there he used to teach him fishing, and there young Portly caught his first fish, of which he was so very proud. The child loved the spot, and Otter thinks that if he came wandering back from wherever he is—if he is anywhere by this time, poor little chap—he might make for the ford he was so fond of; or if he came across it he'd remember it well, and stop there and play, perhaps. So Otter goes [Pg 173] there every night and watches—on the chance, you know, just on the chance!"
"Well, it looks like that's where he taught Portly how to swim," continued the Rat. "From that shallow, gravelly spot by the bank. And that’s where he used to show him how to fish, and that’s where young Portly caught his first fish, which he was really proud of. The kid loved that place, and Otter thinks that if he wandered back from wherever he is—if he’s even anywhere at this point, poor little guy—he might head towards the ford he loved so much; or if he comes across it, he’ll remember it well and might stop there to play, maybe. So Otter goes there every night and keeps watch—just in case, you know, just in case!"
They were silent for a time, both thinking of the same thing—the lonely, heart-sore animal, crouched by the ford, watching and waiting, the long night through—on the chance.
They were quiet for a while, both thinking about the same thing—the lonely, hurt animal, huddled by the crossing, watching and waiting all night long—just in case.
"Well, well," said the Rat presently, "I suppose we ought to be thinking about turning in." But he never offered to move.
"Well, well," said the Rat after a moment, "I guess we should think about going to bed." But he didn’t make any move to get up.
"Rat," said the Mole, "I simply can't go and turn in, and go to sleep, and do nothing, even though there doesn't seem to be anything to be done. We'll get the boat out, and paddle upstream. The moon will be up in an hour or so, and then we will search as well as we can—anyhow, it will be better than going to bed and doing nothing."
"Rat," said the Mole, "I just can't go to bed and sleep and do nothing, even if it seems like there's nothing to be done. Let's take the boat out and paddle upstream. The moon will be up in about an hour, and then we can search as best as we can—anyway, it’ll be better than going to bed and doing nothing."
"Just what I was thinking myself," said the Rat. "It's not the sort of night for bed anyhow; and daybreak is not so very far off, and then we may pick up some news of him from early risers as we go along."
"Exactly what I was thinking," said the Rat. "It’s not really a night for sleeping anyway; and dawn isn’t too far away, and we might hear some news about him from the early risers as we pass by."
They got the boat out, and the Rat took the [Pg 174] sculls, paddling with caution. Out in mid-stream, there was a clear, narrow track that faintly reflected the sky; but wherever shadows fell on the water from bank, bush, or tree, they were as solid to all appearance as the banks themselves, and the Mole had to steer with judgment accordingly. Dark and deserted as it was, the night was full of small noises, song and chatter and rustling, telling of the busy little population who were up and about, plying their trades and vocations through the night till sunshine should fall on them at last and send them off to their well-earned repose. The water's own noises, too, were more apparent than by day, its gurglings and "cloops" more unexpected and near at hand; and constantly they started at what seemed a sudden clear call from an actual articulate voice.
They got the boat out, and the Rat took the [Pg 174] paddles, rowing carefully. Out in the middle of the stream, there was a clear, narrow path that faintly reflected the sky; but wherever shadows fell on the water from the bank, bushes, or trees, they looked as solid as the banks themselves, and the Mole had to steer wisely. Despite being dark and empty, the night was filled with small sounds, songs, chatter, and rustling, indicating the busy little creatures who were up and about, working on their trades and tasks throughout the night until the sunshine finally arrived and sent them off to their well-deserved rest. The sounds of the water were also more noticeable than during the day, with its gurgling and "cloops" more surprising and close by; and they often jumped at what seemed like a sudden clear call from an actual, talking voice.
The line of the horizon was clear and hard against the sky, and in one particular quarter it showed black against a silvery climbing phosphorescence that grew and grew. At last, over the rim of the waiting earth the moon lifted with slow majesty till it swung clear of the horizon and rode off, free of moorings; and [Pg 175] once more they began to see surfaces—meadows wide-spread, and quiet gardens, and the river itself from bank to bank, all softly disclosed, all washed clean of mystery and terror, all radiant again as by day, but with a difference that was tremendous. Their old haunts greeted them again in other raiment, as if they had slipped away and put on this pure new apparel and come quietly back, smiling as they shyly waited to see if they would be recognised again under it.
The line of the horizon was sharp and distinct against the sky, and in one area, it stood out black against a silver glow that kept growing. Finally, the moon rose slowly over the edge of the waiting earth until it cleared the horizon and floated away, free from its anchorage; and [Pg 175] once again they began to see familiar sights—sprawling meadows, peaceful gardens, and the river stretching from bank to bank, all softly revealed, all cleansed of mystery and fear, all shining again like during the day, but with a significant difference. Their old favorite places welcomed them back in a fresh guise, as if they had slipped away, donned this pure new attire, and returned quietly, smiling as they eagerly waited to see if they would be recognized again in it.
Fastening their boat to a willow, the friends landed in this silent, silver kingdom, and patiently explored the hedges, the hollow trees, the runnels and their little culverts, the ditches and dry water-ways. Embarking again and crossing over, they worked their way up the stream in this manner, while the moon, serene and detached in a cloudless sky, did what she could, though so far off, to help them in their quest; till her hour came and she sank earthwards reluctantly, and left them, and mystery once more held field and river.
Fastening their boat to a willow, the friends landed in this quiet, silver kingdom and patiently explored the hedges, the hollow trees, the little streams and their culverts, the ditches, and dry waterways. After setting off again and crossing over, they made their way upstream like this, while the moon, calm and distant in a clear sky, did what she could, even from so far away, to assist them in their search; until her time came, and she sank down towards the earth reluctantly and left them, and mystery once again covered the field and the river.
Then a change began slowly to declare itself. [Pg 176] The horizon became clearer, field and tree came more into sight, and somehow with a different look; the mystery began to drop away from them. A bird piped suddenly, and was still; and a light breeze sprang up and set the reeds and bulrushes rustling. Rat, who was in the stern of the boat, while Mole sculled, sat up suddenly and listened with a passionate intentness. Mole, who with gentle strokes was just keeping the boat moving while he scanned the banks with care, looked at him with curiosity.
Then a change began to slowly reveal itself. [Pg 176] The horizon became clearer, and fields and trees came more into view, somehow looking different; the mystery started to fade away from them. A bird chirped suddenly and then was silent; a light breeze picked up and set the reeds and bulrushes rustling. Rat, who was at the back of the boat while Mole paddled, suddenly sat up and listened with intense focus. Mole, gently keeping the boat moving while carefully scanning the banks, looked at him with curiosity.
"It's gone!" sighed the Rat, sinking back in his seat again. "So beautiful and strange and new! Since it was to end so soon, I almost wish I had never heard it. For it has roused a longing in me that is pain, and nothing seems worth while but just to hear that sound once more and go on listening to it for ever. No! There it is again!" he cried, alert once more. Entranced, he was silent for a long space, spellbound.
"It's gone!" the Rat sighed, sinking back into his seat again. "So beautiful and strange and new! Since it ended so soon, I almost wish I had never heard it. It's awakened a longing in me that's painful, and nothing feels worthwhile except just hearing that sound one more time and listening to it forever. No! There it is again!" he exclaimed, alert once more. Captivated, he fell silent for a long time, enchanted.
"Now it passes on and I begin to lose it," he said presently. "O Mole! the beauty of it! [Pg 177] The merry bubble and joy, the thin, clear, happy call of the distant piping! Such music I never dreamed of, and the call in it is stronger even than the music is sweet! Row on, Mole, row! For the music and the call must be for us."
"Now it’s moving away and I’m starting to lose it," he said after a moment. "Oh Mole! The beauty of it! [Pg 177] The cheerful bubbling and joy, the light, clear, happy sound of the distant piping! I never imagined such music, and the call in it is even more powerful than the music is sweet! Keep rowing, Mole, keep rowing! Because the music and the call must be meant for us."
The Mole, greatly wondering, obeyed. "I hear nothing myself," he said, "but the wind playing in the reeds and rushes and osiers."
The Mole, filled with curiosity, complied. "I don’t hear anything myself," he said, "just the wind rustling through the reeds, rushes, and willows."
The Rat never answered, if indeed he heard. Rapt, transported, trembling, he was possessed in all his senses by this new divine thing that caught up his helpless soul and swung and dandled it, a powerless but happy infant in a strong sustaining grasp.
The Rat didn’t respond, if he even heard. Captivated, overwhelmed, shaking, he was fully consumed by this new divine experience that took his helpless spirit and swung and cradled it, like a powerless but joyful baby in a firm, supportive hold.
In silence Mole rowed steadily, and soon they came to a point where the river divided, a long backwater branching off to one side. With a slight movement of his head Rat, who had long dropped the rudder-lines, directed the rower to take the backwater. The creeping tide of light gained and gained, and now they could see the colour of the flowers that gemmed the water's edge.
In silence, Mole rowed steadily, and soon they reached a point where the river split, a long backwater branching off to one side. With a slight nod of his head, Rat, who had long since let go of the rudder lines, signaled to the rower to take the backwater. The soft light continued to spread, and now they could see the colors of the flowers that dotted the water's edge.
"Clearer and nearer still," cried the Rat joyously. "Now you must surely hear it! Ah—at last—I see you do!"
"Clearer and even closer now," the Rat said happily. "You must be able to hear it! Ah—finally—I see you do!"
Breathless and transfixed, the Mole stopped rowing as the liquid run of that glad piping broke on him like a wave, caught him up, and possessed him utterly. He saw the tears on his comrade's cheeks, and bowed his head and understood. For a space they hung there, brushed by the purple loosestrife that fringed the bank; then the clear imperious summons that marched hand-in-hand with the intoxicating melody imposed its will on Mole, and mechanically he bent to his oars again. And the light grew steadily stronger, but no birds sang as they were wont to do at the approach of dawn; and but for the heavenly music all was marvellously still.
Breathless and captivated, the Mole stopped rowing as the joyful sound flowed over him like a wave, completely enveloping him. He noticed the tears on his friend's cheeks, lowered his head, and understood. For a moment, they lingered there, brushing against the purple loosestrife that lined the bank; then the clear, commanding call that went hand-in-hand with the enchanting melody took hold of Mole, and he instinctively grabbed his oars again. The light kept getting brighter, but no birds sang as they usually did at dawn; and except for the heavenly music, everything was wonderfully quiet.
On either side of them, as they glided onwards, the rich meadow-grass seemed that morning of a freshness and a greenness unsurpassable. Never had they noticed the roses so vivid, the willow-herb so riotous, the meadow-sweet so odorous and pervading. Then the murmur of the approaching weir began to hold the air, and [Pg 179] they felt a consciousness that they were nearing the end, whatever it might be, that surely awaited their expedition.
On either side of them, as they moved forward, the lush meadow grass looked incredibly fresh and green that morning. They had never seen the roses so bright, the willow herb so vibrant, or the meadow sweet so fragrant and all-encompassing. Then the sound of the nearby weir started to fill the air, and they felt a sense that they were approaching the end, whatever that might be, that was surely waiting for their journey.
A wide half-circle of foam and glinting lights and shining shoulders of green water, the great weir closed the backwater from bank to bank, troubled all the quiet surface with twirling eddies and floating foam-streaks, and deadened all other sounds with its solemn and soothing rumble. In midmost of the stream, embraced in the weir's shimmering arm-spread, a small island lay anchored, fringed close with willow and silver birch and alder. Reserved, shy, but full of significance, it hid whatever it might hold behind a veil, keeping it till the hour should come, and, with the hour, those who were called and chosen.
A wide half-circle of foam and sparkling lights and bright green water, the massive weir stretched across the backwater from one bank to the other, disturbing the calm surface with swirling eddies and floating foam streaks, and muffling all other sounds with its deep and soothing rumble. In the middle of the stream, cradled in the weir's shimmering embrace, a small island was anchored, surrounded closely by willow, silver birch, and alder. It was reserved, shy, but filled with meaning; it concealed whatever it held behind a veil, waiting for the right moment to reveal it, along with those who were summoned and chosen.
Slowly, but with no doubt or hesitation whatever, and in something of a solemn expectancy, the two animals passed through the broken, tumultuous water and moored their boat at the flowery margin of the island. In silence they landed, and pushed through the blossom and scented herbage and undergrowth that led up [Pg 180] to the level ground, till they stood on a little lawn of a marvellous green, set round with Nature's own orchard-trees—crab-apple, wild cherry, and sloe.
Slowly, but without any doubt or hesitation, and with a sense of solemn anticipation, the two animals made their way through the choppy water and docked their boat at the flowery edge of the island. In silence, they disembarked and made their way through the blooming flowers, fragrant grass, and shrubs that led up to the flat ground, until they arrived at a small lawn of an incredible green, surrounded by Nature's own orchard trees—crab-apple, wild cherry, and sloe.
"This is the place of my song-dream, the place the music played to me," whispered the Rat, as if in a trance. "Here, in this holy place, here if anywhere, surely we shall find Him!"
"This is the place of my song-dream, the place the music played to me," whispered the Rat, as if in a trance. "Here, in this sacred place, here if anywhere, we will surely find Him!"
Then suddenly the Mole felt a great Awe fall upon him, an awe that turned his muscles to water, bowed his head, and rooted his feet to the ground. It was no panic terror—indeed he felt wonderfully at peace and happy—but it was an awe that smote and held him and, without seeing, he knew it could only mean that some august Presence was very, very near. With difficulty he turned to look for his friend, and saw him at his side, cowed, stricken, and trembling violently. And still there was utter silence in the populous bird-haunted branches around them; and still the light grew and grew.
Then suddenly the Mole felt an overwhelming sense of awe wash over him, an awe that turned his muscles to jelly, lowered his head, and kept his feet planted to the ground. It wasn’t a panic-driven fear—he actually felt incredibly at peace and happy—but it was an awe that struck him and held him in place, and without seeing, he knew it could only mean that some majestic presence was very, very near. With effort, he turned to look for his friend and saw him beside him, subdued, shaken, and trembling intensely. And still there was complete silence in the crowded, bird-filled branches around them; and still the light kept growing and growing.
Perhaps he would never have dared to raise his eyes, but that, though the piping was now hushed, the call and the summons seemed still [Pg 181] dominant and imperious. He might not refuse, were Death himself waiting to strike him instantly, once he had looked with mortal eye on things rightly kept hidden. Trembling he obeyed, and raised his humble head; and then, in that utter clearness of the imminent dawn, while Nature, flushed with fulness of incredible colour, seemed to hold her breath for the event, he looked in the very eyes of the Friend and Helper; saw the backward sweep of the curved horns, gleaming in the growing daylight; saw the stern, hooked nose between the kindly eyes that were looking down on them humorously, while the bearded mouth broke into a half-smile at the corners; saw the rippling muscles on the arm that lay across the broad chest, the long supple hand still holding the pan-pipes only just fallen away from the parted lips; saw the splendid curves of the shaggy limbs disposed in majestic ease on the sward; saw, last of all, nestling between his very hooves, sleeping soundly in entire peace and contentment, the little, round, podgy, childish form of the baby otter. All this he saw, for one moment [Pg 182] breathless and intense, vivid on the morning sky; and still, as he looked, he lived; and still, as he lived, he wondered.
Maybe he would never have dared to lift his eyes, but even though the music was now quiet, the call and the demand still felt strong and insistent. He might not be able to refuse, even if Death himself was ready to strike him down the moment he looked with human eyes at things that were meant to stay hidden. Trembling, he obeyed and lifted his head; and then, in the complete clarity of the coming dawn, while Nature, glowing with an incredible burst of color, seemed to hold her breath for what would happen next, he looked straight into the eyes of the Friend and Helper; saw the backward curve of the horns, shining in the growing light; noticed the stern, hooked nose between the kind eyes that looked down on them playfully, while the bearded mouth formed a half-smile at the corners; saw the rippling muscles of the arm resting across the wide chest, the long supple hand still holding the pan-pipes that had just fallen from parted lips; saw the magnificent curves of the shaggy limbs relaxed majestically on the grass; and lastly, nestled between his very hooves, sleeping soundly in total peace and contentment, was the small, round, chubby, childlike form of the baby otter. He took all of this in for one breathtaking moment, vividly outlined against the morning sky; and still, as he looked, he lived; and still, as he lived, he wondered.
"Rat!" he found breath to whisper, shaking. "Are you afraid?"
"Rat!" he managed to whisper, trembling. "Are you scared?"
"Afraid?" murmured the Rat, his eyes shining with unutterable love. "Afraid! Of Him? O, never, never! And yet—and yet—O, Mole, I am afraid!"
"Scared?" whispered the Rat, his eyes gleaming with deep affection. "Scared! Of Him? Oh, never, never! And yet—and yet—Oh, Mole, I am scared!"
Then the two animals, crouching to the earth, bowed their heads and did worship.
Then the two animals, crouching down, bowed their heads and worshiped.
Sudden and magnificent, the sun's broad golden disc showed itself over the horizon facing them; and the first rays, shooting across the level water-meadows, took the animals full in the eyes and dazzled them. When they were able to look once more, the Vision had vanished, and the air was full of the carol of birds that hailed the dawn.
Suddenly and beautifully, the sun's wide golden disk appeared over the horizon in front of them; and the first rays, shooting across the flat meadows, hit the animals directly in the eyes and blinded them. When they could see again, the vision had disappeared, and the air was filled with the songs of birds welcoming the dawn.
As they stared blankly, in dumb misery deepening as they slowly realised all they had seen and all they had lost, a capricious little breeze, dancing up from the surface of the water, tossed the aspens, shook the dewy roses, and blew [Pg 183] lightly and caressingly in their faces; and with its soft touch came instant oblivion. For this is the last best gift that the kindly demi-god is careful to bestow on those to whom he has revealed himself in their helping: the gift of forgetfulness. Lest the awful remembrance should remain and grow, and overshadow mirth and pleasure, and the great haunting memory should spoil all the after-lives of little animals helped out of difficulties, in order that they should be happy and light-hearted as before.
As they stared blankly, with their misery deepening as they slowly realized everything they had seen and everything they had lost, a playful little breeze danced up from the water's surface, rustling the aspens, shaking the dewy roses, and blowing gently and soothingly in their faces; and with its soft touch came immediate forgetfulness. For this is the final, greatest gift that the kind demi-god thoughtfully gives to those he's helped: the gift of forgetfulness. So that the terrible memories won’t linger and grow, overshadowing joy and happiness, and so the haunting memories won’t ruin the lives of the little animals helped out of tough spots, allowing them to be happy and carefree like before.
Mole rubbed his eyes and stared at Rat, who was looking about him in a puzzled sort of way. "I beg your pardon; what did you say, Rat?" he asked.
Mole rubbed his eyes and stared at Rat, who was looking around in a confused kind of way. "Sorry, what did you say, Rat?" he asked.
"I think I was only remarking," said Rat slowly, "that this was the right sort of place, and that here, if anywhere, we should find him. And look! Why, there he is, the little fellow!" And with a cry of delight he ran towards the slumbering Portly.
"I think I was just pointing out," said Rat slowly, "that this is the perfect spot, and that if we’re going to find him anywhere, it’s here. And look! There he is, the little guy!" And with a shout of joy, he ran towards the sleeping Portly.
But Mole stood still a moment, held in thought. As one wakened suddenly from a beautiful dream, who struggles to recall it, and [Pg 184] can recapture nothing but a dim sense of the beauty of it, the beauty! Till that, too, fades away in its turn, and the dreamer bitterly accepts the hard, cold waking and all its penalties; so Mole, after struggling with his memory for a brief space, shook his head sadly and followed the Rat.
But Mole stood still for a moment, deep in thought. Like someone who suddenly wakes up from a beautiful dream and tries to remember it, only to be left with just a vague feeling of its beauty—oh, the beauty! Until that, too, fades away, and the dreamer reluctantly faces the harsh reality and all its consequences; so Mole, after grappling with his memory for a little while, shook his head sadly and followed the Rat.
Portly woke up with a joyous squeak, and wriggled with pleasure at the sight of his father's friends, who had played with him so often in past days. In a moment, however, his face grew blank, and he fell to hunting round in a circle with pleading whine. As a child that has fallen happily asleep in its nurse's arms, and wakes to find itself alone and laid in a strange place, and searches corners and cupboards, and runs from room to room, despair growing silently in its heart, even so Portly searched the island and searched, dogged and unwearying, till at last the black moment came for giving it up, and sitting down and crying bitterly.
Portly woke up with a cheerful squeak and squirmed with joy at the sight of his father's friends, who had played with him so many times before. But in an instant, his expression changed to confusion, and he started searching around in a circle with a whimper. Just like a child who falls asleep happily in their caregiver's arms, only to wake up alone in an unfamiliar place, searching through corners and cupboards, running from room to room, with growing despair in their heart—Portly searched the island tirelessly until the moment came when he had to give up, sit down, and cry his heart out.
The Mole ran quickly to comfort the little animal; but Rat, lingering, looked long and doubtfully at certain hoof-marks deep in the sward. [Pg 185]
The Mole hurried over to comfort the small animal; but Rat, hanging back, stared for a long time, unsure, at some deep hoofprints in the grass. [Pg 185]
"Some—great—animal—has been here," he murmured slowly and thoughtfully; and stood musing, musing; his mind strangely stirred.
"Some—great—animal—has been here," he murmured slowly and thoughtfully; and stood musing, musing; his mind strangely stirred.
"Come along, Rat!" called the Mole. "Think of poor Otter, waiting up there by the ford!"
"Come on, Rat!" called the Mole. "Imagine poor Otter, waiting up there by the crossing!"
Portly had soon been comforted by the promise of a treat—a jaunt on the river in Mr. Rat's real boat; and the two animals conducted him to the water's side, placed him securely between them in the bottom of the boat, and paddled off down the backwater. The sun was fully up by now, and hot on them, birds sang lustily and without restraint, and flowers smiled and nodded from either bank, but somehow—so thought the animals—with less of richness and blaze of colour than they seemed to remember seeing quite recently somewhere—they wondered where.
Portly was soon cheered up by the promise of a treat—a trip on the river in Mr. Rat's real boat. The two animals took him to the water's edge, securely placed him between them in the boat's bottom, and paddled off down the backwater. The sun was fully out now, and it was hot, birds sang loudly and freely, and flowers smiled and swayed from either bank. But somehow—according to the animals—it felt like there was less richness and vibrancy in the colors than they remembered seeing not too long ago somewhere—they wondered where.
The main river reached again, they turned the boat's head upstream, towards the point where they knew their friend was keeping his lonely vigil. As they drew near the familiar ford, the Mole took the boat in to the bank, and [Pg 186] they lifted Portly out and set him on his legs on the tow-path, gave him his marching orders and a friendly farewell pat on the back, and shoved out into mid-stream. They watched the little animal as he waddled along the path contentedly and with importance; watched him till they saw his muzzle suddenly lift and his waddle break into a clumsy amble as he quickened his pace with shrill whines and wriggles of recognition. Looking up the river, they could see Otter start up, tense and rigid, from out of the shallows where he crouched in dumb patience, and could hear his amazed and joyous bark as he bounded up through the osiers on to the path. Then the Mole, with a strong pull on one oar, swung the boat round and let the full stream bear them down again whither it would, their quest now happily ended.
The main river came into view again, and they pointed the boat upstream, heading toward the spot where they knew their friend was waiting. As they got close to the familiar crossing, the Mole steered the boat to the bank, and they lifted Portly out, setting him on his feet on the towpath. They gave him his instructions and a friendly pat on the back before pushing off into the river. They watched the little creature waddle along the path, looking all content and important, until they saw his nose suddenly lift and his waddle turn into a clumsy walk as he hurried along with excited whines and happy wriggles. Looking up the river, they saw Otter spring up, tense and alert, from the shallows where he had been patiently waiting, and they heard his joyful bark as he bounded through the reeds onto the path. Then the Mole gave a strong pull on one oar, turned the boat around, and let the current carry them downstream, their mission happily completed.
"I feel strangely tired, Rat," said the Mole, leaning wearily over his oars, as the boat drifted. "It's being up all night, you'll say, perhaps; but that's nothing. We do as much half the nights of the week, at this time of the year. No; I feel as if I had been through something [Pg 187] very exciting and rather terrible, and it was just over; and yet nothing particular has happened."
"I feel really tired, Rat," said the Mole, leaning wearily over his oars as the boat drifted. "You might say it's because we were up all night, but that’s not it. We do that half the nights of the week this time of year. No, I feel like I’ve just been through something really exciting and kind of terrifying, and it just ended; yet nothing specific has happened."
"Or something very surprising and splendid and beautiful," murmured the Rat, leaning back and closing his eyes. "I feel just as you do, Mole; simply dead tired, though not body-tired. It's lucky we've got the stream with us, to take us home. Isn't it jolly to feel the sun again, soaking into one's bones! And hark to the wind playing in the reeds!"
"Or something really surprising and amazing and beautiful," whispered the Rat, leaning back and closing his eyes. "I feel just like you do, Mole; completely exhausted, but not physically tired. It's a good thing we have the stream with us to take us home. Isn't it great to feel the sun again, warming us up! And listen to the wind playing in the reeds!"
"It's like music—far-away music," said the Mole, nodding drowsily.
"It's like music—distant music," said the Mole, nodding sleepily.
"So I was thinking," murmured the Rat, dreamful and languid. "Dance-music—the lilting sort that runs on without a stop—but with words in it, too—it passes into words and out of them again—I catch them at intervals—then it is dance-music once more, and then nothing but the reeds' soft thin whispering."
"So I was thinking," said the Rat, dreamy and relaxed. "Dance music—the light kind that just keeps going—but with words mixed in, too—it flows into words and slips out of them again—I catch them sometimes—then it’s dance music again, and then all I hear is the soft, thin whispering of the reeds."
"You hear better than I," said the Mole sadly. "I cannot catch the words."
"You hear better than I do," the Mole said sadly. "I can't catch the words."
"Let me try and give you them," said the Rat softly, his eyes still closed. "Now it is [Pg 188] turning into words again—faint but clear—Lest the awe should dwell—And turn your frolic to fret—You shall look on my power at the helping hour—But then you shall forget! Now the reeds take it up—forget, forget, they sigh, and it dies away in a rustle and a whisper. Then the voice returns—
"Let me try to share it with you," said the Rat softly, his eyes still closed. "Now it is turning back into words—faint but clear—So that the awe doesn’t linger—and turn your fun into worry—you will witness my power at the moment of need—but then you will forget! Now the reeds carry it on—forget, forget, they whisper, and it fades away in a rustle and a murmur. Then the voice comes back—
"Lest limbs be reddened and rent—I spring the trap that is set—As I loose the snare you may glimpse me there—For surely you shall forget! Row nearer, Mole, nearer to the reeds! It is hard to catch, and grows each minute fainter.
"So that limbs aren't hurt and torn—I spring the trap that's set—As I release the snare you might see me there—For you will surely forget! Row closer, Mole, closer to the reeds! It’s hard to catch, and grows fainter with every minute."
"Helper and healer, I cheer—Small waifs in the woodland wet—Strays I find in it, wounds I bind in it—Bidding them all forget! Nearer, Mole, nearer! No, it is no good; the song has died away into reed-talk."
"Helper and healer, I cheer—Small waifs in the wet woods—Strays I find, wounds I bind—Telling them all to forget! Closer, Mole, closer! No, it won't work; the song has faded into whispers among the reeds."
"But what do the words mean?" asked the wondering Mole.
"But what do the words mean?" asked the curious Mole.
"That I do not know," said the Rat simply. "I passed them on to you as they reached me. Ah! now they return again, and this time full and clear! This time, at last, it is the real, the unmistakable thing, simple—passionate—perfect—" [Pg 189]
"That's something I don't know," the Rat said simply. "I passed them on to you as I received them. Ah! now they come back again, and this time they're complete and crystal clear! This time, finally, it's the real deal—unmistakable—simple—passionate—perfect—" [Pg 189]
"Well, let's have it, then," said the Mole, after he had waited patiently for a few minutes, half-dozing in the hot sun.
"Alright, let's get on with it," said the Mole, after he had waited patiently for a few minutes, half-dozing in the warm sun.
WHEN Toad found himself immured in a dank and noisome dungeon, and knew that all the grim darkness of a medieval fortress lay between him and the outer world of sunshine and well-metalled high roads where he had lately been so happy, disporting himself as if he had bought up every road in England, he flung himself at full length on the floor, and shed bitter tears, and abandoned himself to dark despair. "This is the end of everything" (he said), "at least it is the end of the career of Toad, which is the same thing; the popular and handsome Toad, the rich and hospitable Toad, the Toad so free and careless and debonair! How can I hope to be ever set at large again" (he said), "who have been imprisoned so justly for stealing so handsome a motor-car in such an audacious manner, and for such lurid [Pg 194] and imaginative cheek, bestowed upon such a number of fat, red-faced policemen!" (Here his sobs choked him.) "Stupid animal that I was" (he said), "now I must languish in this dungeon, till people who were proud to say they knew me, have forgotten the very name of Toad! O wise old Badger!" (he said), "O clever, intelligent Rat and sensible Mole! What sound judgments, what a knowledge of men and matters you possess! O unhappy and forsaken Toad!" With lamentations such as these he passed his days and nights for several weeks, refusing his meals or intermediate light refreshments, though the grim and ancient gaoler, knowing that Toad's pockets were well lined, frequently pointed out that many comforts, and indeed luxuries, could by arrangement be sent in—at a price—from outside.
WHEN Toad found himself stuck in a damp and foul-smelling dungeon, and realized that all the grim darkness of a medieval fortress separated him from the sunny world of well-paved roads where he had recently been so happy, acting as if he owned every road in England, he threw himself on the floor and cried bitterly, surrendering to deep despair. "This is the end of everything," he said, "at least it's the end of Toad's adventures, which is the same thing; the popular and charming Toad, the wealthy and welcoming Toad, the Toad who was so carefree and stylish! How can I ever hope to be free again," he lamented, "having been justly imprisoned for stealing such a fine motor car in such a bold way, and with such audacious nerve, right in front of so many plump, red-faced policemen!" (Here his sobs choked him.) "What a foolish animal I was," he continued, "now I have to rot in this dungeon until those who were proud to know me forget the very name of Toad! O wise old Badger!" he exclaimed, "O clever, smart Rat and sensible Mole! What sound judgment, what knowledge of people and situations you have! O miserable and abandoned Toad!" With cries like these, he spent his days and nights for several weeks, refusing his meals or any snacks, even though the stern old jailer, knowing that Toad had plenty of money, often pointed out that many comforts, and indeed luxuries, could be sent in—at a price—from outside.
Now the gaoler had a daughter, a pleasant wench and good-hearted, who assisted her father in the lighter duties of his post. She was particularly fond of animals, and, besides her canary, whose cage hung on a nail in the massive wall of the keep by day, to the great annoyance [Pg 195] of prisoners who relished an after-dinner nap, and was shrouded in an antimacassar on the parlour table at night, she kept several piebald mice and a restless revolving squirrel. This kind-hearted girl, pitying the misery of Toad, said to her father one day, "Father! I can't bear to see that poor beast so unhappy, and getting so thin! You let me have the managing of him. You know how fond of animals I am. I'll make him eat from my hand, and sit up, and do all sorts of things."
Now the jailer had a daughter, a nice girl and kind-hearted, who helped her father with the easier tasks of his job. She loved animals, and besides her canary, which during the day was in a cage hanging from a nail in the thick wall of the keep—much to the annoyance of prisoners who enjoyed a post-lunch nap—and at night was covered with a doily on the living room table, she also had a few piebald mice and a hyperactive squirrel. This compassionate girl, feeling sorry for Toad’s misery, said to her father one day, "Dad! I can't stand seeing that poor creature so sad and losing weight! Let me take care of him. You know how much I love animals. I’ll get him to eat from my hand, sit up, and do all sorts of tricks."
Her father replied that she could do what she liked with him. He was tired of Toad, and his sulks and his airs and his meanness. So that day she went on her errand of mercy, and knocked at the door of Toad's cell.
Her father said she could do whatever she wanted with him. He was fed up with Toad, his moodiness, his pretentiousness, and his selfishness. So that day she set out on her mission of kindness and knocked on the door of Toad's cell.
"Now, cheer up, Toad," she said, coaxingly, on entering, "and sit up and dry your eyes and be a sensible animal. And do try and eat a bit of dinner. See, I've brought you some of mine, hot from the oven!"
"Come on, Toad, cheer up," she said gently as she walked in. "Sit up, wipe your eyes, and be reasonable. And please try to eat something for dinner. Look, I brought you some of mine, fresh out of the oven!"
It was bubble-and-squeak, between two plates, and its fragrance filled the narrow cell. The penetrating smell of cabbage reached the nose [Pg 196] of Toad as he lay prostrate in his misery on the floor, and gave him the idea for a moment that perhaps life was not such a blank and desperate thing as he had imagined. But still he wailed, and kicked with his legs, and refused to be comforted. So the wise girl retired for the time, but, of course, a good deal of the smell of hot cabbage remained behind, as it will do, and Toad, between his sobs, sniffed and reflected, and gradually began to think new and inspiring thoughts: of chivalry, and poetry, and deeds still to be done; of broad meadows, and cattle browsing in them, raked by sun and wind; of kitchen-gardens, and straight herb-borders, and warm snap-dragon beset by bees; and of the comforting clink of dishes set down on the table at Toad Hall, and the scrape of chair-legs on the floor as every one pulled himself close up to his work. The air of the narrow cell took a rosy tinge; he began to think of his friends, and how they would surely be able to do something; of lawyers, and how they would have enjoyed his case, and what an ass he had been not to get in a few; and lastly, he thought [Pg 197] of his own great cleverness and resource, and all that he was capable of if he only gave his great mind to it; and the cure was almost complete.
It was bubble-and-squeak, between two plates, and its smell filled the cramped cell. The strong odor of cabbage reached Toad's nose as he lay on the floor in his misery, making him think for a moment that maybe life wasn't as bleak and hopeless as he had thought. But still, he cried out, kicked his legs, and refused to be comforted. So, the wise girl stepped back for a bit, but of course, a good part of the hot cabbage smell lingered, as it usually does. Toad, between his sobs, sniffed and started to think of new, uplifting ideas: of chivalry, and poetry, and the accomplishments still waiting for him; of wide meadows, with cattle grazing, warmed by the sun and wind; of kitchen gardens, neat herb borders, and warm snapdragons buzzing with bees; and of the comforting clink of dishes being put on the table at Toad Hall, and the sound of chair legs scraping against the floor as everyone settled in to eat. The air in the cramped cell seemed to brighten; he started thinking about his friends and how they could surely do something; about lawyers, and how much they would have enjoyed his situation, and how foolish he had been not to get a few involved; and finally, he thought of his own great cleverness and resourcefulness, and all that he could achieve if he just focused his mind; and the healing was almost complete.

When the girl returned, some hours later, she carried a tray, with a cup of fragrant tea steaming on it; and a plate piled up with very hot buttered toast, cut thick, very brown on both sides, with the butter running through the holes in it in great golden drops, like honey from the honeycomb. The smell of that buttered toast simply talked to Toad, and with no uncertain voice; talked of warm kitchens, of breakfasts on bright frosty mornings, of cosy parlour firesides on winter evenings, when one's ramble was over, and slippered feet were propped on the fender; of the purring of contented cats, and the twitter of sleepy canaries. Toad sat up on end once more, dried his eyes, sipped his tea and munched his toast, and soon began talking freely about himself, and the house he lived in, and his doings there, and how important he was, and what a lot his friends thought of him.
When the girl came back a few hours later, she had a tray with a steaming cup of fragrant tea and a plate stacked with hot buttered toast, thickly cut and nicely browned on both sides, with melted butter dripping through the holes like honey from a honeycomb. The aroma of that buttered toast spoke to Toad loudly and clearly; it reminded him of warm kitchens, breakfasts on bright frosty mornings, cozy firesides in winter evenings after a long day, with his feet up on the fender; of content cats purring and sleepy canaries chirping. Toad sat up straight again, dried his eyes, sipped his tea, munched his toast, and soon started chatting comfortably about himself, his house, his activities there, how important he was, and how much his friends valued him.
The gaoler's daughter saw that the topic was [Pg 198] doing him as much good as the tea, as indeed it was, and encouraged him to go on.
The jailer's daughter noticed that the conversation was helping him just as much as the tea was, which it truly was, and she encouraged him to keep talking.
"Tell me about Toad Hall," said she. "It sounds beautiful."
"Tell me about Toad Hall," she said. "It sounds lovely."
"Toad Hall," said the Toad proudly, "is an eligible, self-contained gentleman's residence, very unique; dating in part from the fourteenth century, but replete with every modern convenience. Up-to-date sanitation. Five minutes from church, post-office, and golf-links. Suitable for—"
"Toad Hall," said the Toad proudly, "is a stylish, fully-equipped gentleman's home, truly one of a kind; partly from the fourteenth century, but filled with all the latest amenities. Modern sanitation. Just five minutes from the church, post office, and golf course. Suitable for—"
"Bless the animal," said the girl, laughing, "I don't want to take it. Tell me something real about it. But first wait till I fetch you some more tea and toast."
"Bless the animal," the girl said with a laugh, "I don’t want to take it. Tell me something real about it. But first, wait a moment while I grab you some more tea and toast."
She tripped away, and presently returned with a fresh trayful; and Toad, pitching into the toast with avidity, his spirits quite restored to their usual level, told her about the boat-house, and the fish-pond, and the old walled kitchen-garden; and about the pig-styes and the stables, and the pigeon-house and the hen-house; and about the dairy, and the wash-house, [Pg 199] and the china-cupboards, and the linen-presses (she liked that bit especially); and about the banqueting-hall, and the fun they had there when the other animals were gathered round the table and Toad was at his best, singing songs, telling stories, carrying on generally. Then she wanted to know about his animal-friends, and was very interested in all he had to tell her about them and how they lived, and what they did to pass their time. Of course, she did not say she was fond of animals as pets, because she had the sense to see that Toad would be extremely offended. When she said good-night, having filled his water-jug and shaken up his straw for him, Toad was very much the same sanguine, self-satisfied animal that he had been of old. He sang a little song or two, of the sort he used to sing at his dinner-parties, curled himself up in the straw, and had an excellent night's rest and the pleasantest of dreams.
She walked away and soon came back with a fresh tray; and Toad, eagerly diving into the toast, felt his spirits completely lift back to normal. He told her about the boathouse, the fish pond, and the old walled kitchen garden; and about the pig pens and the stables, and the pigeon loft and the chicken coop; and about the dairy and the laundry, [Pg 199] and the china cabinets and the linen presses (she especially liked that part); and about the banquet hall, and the fun they had there when all the other animals gathered around the table and Toad was at his best, singing songs, telling stories, and generally having a good time. Then she wanted to know about his animal friends and was really interested in everything he had to share about them, how they lived, and what they did for fun. Of course, she didn’t say she liked animals as pets, because she was smart enough to know Toad would be really offended. When she said goodnight, after filling his water jug and fluffing his straw, Toad was just as cheerful and self-satisfied as he used to be. He sang a couple of the little songs he’d sing at his dinner parties, curled up in the straw, and had a great night’s sleep with the nicest dreams.
They had many interesting talks together, after that, as the dreary days went on; and the gaoler's daughter grew very sorry for Toad, and thought it a great shame that a poor little [Pg 200] animal should be locked up in prison for what seemed to her a very trivial offence. Toad, of course, in his vanity, thought that her interest in him proceeded from a growing tenderness; and he could not help half-regretting that the social gulf between them was so very wide, for she was a comely lass, and evidently admired him very much.
They had a lot of interesting conversations together as the dull days dragged on, and the jailer's daughter started to feel really sorry for Toad. She thought it was really unfair for a poor little animal to be locked up for what seemed like a minor offense to her. Toad, being vain, believed that her concern for him was due to her growing affection; he couldn't help but partly regret that there was such a big social divide between them, since she was an attractive girl and clearly admired him a lot.
One morning the girl was very thoughtful, and answered at random, and did not seem to Toad to be paying proper attention to his witty sayings and sparkling comments.
One morning, the girl was deep in thought, responding at random, and didn’t seem to Toad to be fully paying attention to his clever remarks and sparkling comments.
"Toad," she said presently, "just listen, please. I have an aunt who is a washerwoman."
"Toad," she said after a moment, "just listen, okay? I have an aunt who's a washerwoman."
"There, there," said Toad, graciously and affably, "never mind; think no more about it. I have several aunts who ought to be washerwomen."
"There, there," said Toad, kindly and friendly, "don't worry about it; forget all about it. I have a few aunts who should really be washerwomen."
"Do be quiet a minute, Toad," said the girl. "You talk too much, that's your chief fault, and I'm trying to think, and you hurt my head. As I said, I have an aunt who is a washerwoman; she does the washing for all the prisoners in this castle—we try to keep any paying business of [Pg 201] that sort in the family, you understand. She takes out the washing on Monday morning, and brings it in on Friday evening. This is a Thursday. Now, this is what occurs to me: you're very rich—at least you're always telling me so—and she's very poor. A few pounds wouldn't make any difference to you, and it would mean a lot to her. Now, I think if she were properly approached—squared, I believe is the word you animals use—you could come to some arrangement by which she would let you have her dress and bonnet and so on, and you could escape from the castle as the official washerwoman. You're very alike in many respects—particularly about the figure."
"Can you be quiet for a minute, Toad?" the girl said. "You talk too much; that's your main problem, and I'm trying to think, and it's giving me a headache. Like I mentioned, I've got an aunt who's a washerwoman; she does the laundry for all the prisoners in this castle—we try to keep any paying side jobs like that in the family, you see. She takes the laundry out on Monday morning and brings it back on Friday evening. Today is Thursday. Here's what I'm thinking: you're very wealthy—at least, that’s what you keep telling me—and she's quite poor. A few pounds wouldn't mean much to you, but it would make a big difference to her. I think if you approached her properly—squared, as you animals put it—you could work out a deal where she’d let you borrow her dress and bonnet, and you could escape the castle disguised as the official washerwoman. You actually have a lot in common—especially in terms of your shape."
"We're not," said the Toad in a huff. "I have a very elegant figure—for what I am."
"We're not," said the Toad, annoyed. "I have a very elegant shape—for what I am."
"So has my aunt," replied the girl, "for what she is. But have it your own way. You horrid, proud, ungrateful animal, when I'm sorry for you, and trying to help you!"
"So has my aunt," replied the girl, "for what she is. But do what you want. You terrible, arrogant, ungrateful creature, when I'm feeling sorry for you and trying to help!"
"Yes, yes, that's all right; thank you very much indeed," said the Toad hurriedly. "But look here! you wouldn't surely have Mr. Toad, [Pg 202] of Toad Hall, going about the country disguised as a washerwoman!"
"Yes, yes, that's fine; thank you so much," said the Toad quickly. "But come on! You wouldn't really have Mr. Toad, [Pg 202] from Toad Hall, traveling around as a washerwoman!"
"Then you can stop here as a Toad," replied the girl with much spirit. "I suppose you want to go off in a coach-and-four!"
"Then you can stop here as a Toad," the girl responded with a lot of attitude. "I guess you want to ride away in a fancy carriage!"
Honest Toad was always ready to admit himself in the wrong. "You are a good, kind, clever girl," he said, "and I am indeed a proud and a stupid toad. Introduce me to your worthy aunt, if you will be so kind, and I have no doubt that the excellent lady and I will be able to arrange terms satisfactory to both parties."
Honest Toad was always willing to admit when he was wrong. "You are a good, kind, smart girl," he said, "and I am truly a proud and foolish toad. Please introduce me to your lovely aunt, if you don’t mind, and I’m sure that the wonderful lady and I can come up with terms that will work for both of us."
Next evening the girl ushered her aunt into Toad's cell, bearing his week's washing pinned up in a towel. The old lady had been prepared beforehand for the interview, and the sight of certain gold sovereigns that Toad had thoughtfully placed on the table in full view practically completed the matter and left little further to discuss. In return for his cash, Toad received a cotton print gown, an apron, a shawl, and a rusty black bonnet; the only stipulation the old lady made being that she should be gagged and bound and dumped down in a corner. By [Pg 203] this not very convincing artifice, she explained, aided by picturesque fiction which she could supply herself, she hoped to retain her situation, in spite of the suspicious appearance of things.
Next evening, the girl brought her aunt into Toad's cell, carrying his week's laundry wrapped in a towel. The old lady had been prepared for the meeting, and the sight of some gold coins that Toad had thoughtfully placed on the table made things almost resolved and left little else to talk about. In exchange for his cash, Toad got a cotton print dress, an apron, a shawl, and a worn black bonnet; the only condition the old lady made was that she should be gagged and tied up, then tossed in a corner. By [Pg 203] this not very convincing scheme, she explained, along with some imaginative stories she could come up with, she hoped to keep her job, despite the suspicious look of things.
Toad was delighted with the suggestion. It would enable him to leave the prison in some style, and with his reputation for being a desperate and dangerous fellow untarnished; and he readily helped the gaoler's daughter to make her aunt appear as much as possible the victim of circumstances over which she had no control.
Toad was thrilled with the idea. It would allow him to escape from prison in a way that seemed impressive and keep his reputation as a reckless and dangerous guy intact; he quickly helped the jailer's daughter make her aunt look like a total victim of circumstances beyond her control.
"Now it's your turn, Toad," said the girl. "Take off that coat and waistcoat of yours; you're fat enough as it is."
"Now it's your turn, Toad," the girl said. "Take off that coat and vest; you’re plenty fat already."
Shaking with laughter, she proceeded to "hook-and-eye" him into the cotton print gown, arranged the shawl with a professional fold, and tied the strings of the rusty bonnet under his chin.
Shaking with laughter, she went ahead to "hook-and-eye" him into the cotton print gown, arranged the shawl with a professional fold, and tied the strings of the old bonnet under his chin.
"You're the very image of her," she giggled, "only I'm sure you never looked half so respectable in all your life before. Now, good-bye, [Pg 204] Toad, and good luck. Go straight down the way you came up; and if any one says anything to you, as they probably will, being but men, you can chaff back a bit, of course, but remember you're a widow woman, quite alone in the world, with a character to lose."
"You're exactly like her," she laughed, "but I bet you never looked this respectable in your whole life. Now, goodbye, [Pg 204] Toad, and good luck. Head straight back the way you came; and if anyone says anything to you, which they probably will, since they’re just men, feel free to throw some banter back. But remember, you're a widow, completely alone in the world, with a reputation to protect."
With a quaking heart, but as firm a footstep as he could command, Toad set forth cautiously on what seemed to be a most hare-brained and hazardous undertaking; but he was soon agreeably surprised to find how easy everything was made for him, and a little humbled at the thought that both his popularity, and the sex that seemed to inspire it, were really another's. The washerwoman's squat figure in its familiar cotton print seemed a passport for every barred door and grim gateway; even when he hesitated, uncertain as to the right turning to take, he found himself helped out of his difficulty by the warder at the next gate, anxious to be off to his tea, summoning him to come along sharp and not keep him waiting there all night. The chaff and the humourous sallies to which he was subjected, and to which, of course, he had to [Pg 205] provide prompt and effective reply, formed, indeed, his chief danger; for Toad was an animal with a strong sense of his own dignity, and the chaff was mostly (he thought) poor and clumsy, and the humour of the sallies entirely lacking. However, he kept his temper, though with great difficulty, suited his retorts to his company and his supposed character, and did his best not to overstep the limits of good taste.
With a racing heart, but as steady a step as he could manage, Toad set off cautiously on what seemed like a reckless and risky mission. However, he was soon pleasantly surprised to discover how easy everything became for him, and a bit humbled by the realization that both his popularity and the woman who inspired it actually belonged to someone else. The washerwoman's short figure in her familiar cotton dress acted like a pass for every locked door and dark entrance; even when he hesitated, unsure about which direction to take, he found himself assisted by the guard at the next gate, eager to get to his tea, urging him to hurry up and not keep him waiting all night. The teasing and humorous remarks aimed at him, to which he had to respond quickly and effectively, were his main challenge; Toad had a strong sense of his own dignity, and he thought the teasing was mostly poor and awkward, with the humor completely missing. Still, he managed to keep his cool, though it was tough, tailored his responses to his audience and his assumed persona, and did his best not to cross the line of good taste.
It seemed hours before he crossed the last courtyard, rejected the pressing invitations from the last guardroom, and dodged the outspread arms of the last warder, pleading with simulated passion for just one farewell embrace. But at last he heard the wicket-gate in the great outer door click behind him, felt the fresh air of the outer world upon his anxious brow, and knew that he was free!
It felt like hours before he made it across the last courtyard, turned down the persistent invitations from the final guardroom, and sidestepped the outstretched arms of the last guard, who was dramatically begging for just one last hug. But finally, he heard the small gate in the big outer door click shut behind him, felt the fresh air of the outside world on his worried forehead, and knew that he was free!
Dizzy with the easy success of his daring exploit, he walked quickly towards the lights of the town, not knowing in the least what he should do next, only quite certain of one thing, that he must remove himself as quickly as possible from the neighbourhood where the lady [Pg 206] he was forced to represent was so well-known and so popular a character.
Feeling exhilarated by the effortless success of his bold adventure, he hurried toward the town lights, completely unsure of what to do next. He only knew for certain that he needed to get away from the area where the woman he was pretending to be was such a well-known and beloved figure. [Pg 206]
As he walked along, considering, his attention was caught by some red and green lights a little way off, to one side of the town, and the sound of the puffing and snorting of engines and the banging of shunted trucks fell on his ear. "Aha!" he thought, "this is a piece of luck! A railway station is the thing I want most in the whole world at this moment; and what's more, I needn't go through the town to get it, and shan't have to support this humiliating character by repartees which, though thoroughly effective, do not assist one's sense of self-respect."
As he walked along, deep in thought, his attention was drawn to some red and green lights a bit off to the side of the town, and he could hear the puffing and snorting of engines and the clanging of shunted train cars. "Aha!" he thought, "this is lucky! A railway station is exactly what I need right now; plus, I don’t have to go through the town to get there, and I won’t have to maintain this embarrassing persona by coming up with snappy responses that, while effective, don’t really help my self-respect."
He made his way to the station accordingly, consulted a time-table, and found that a train, bound more or less in the direction of his home, was due to start in half-an-hour. "More luck!" said Toad, his spirits rising rapidly, and went off to the booking-office to buy his ticket.
He headed to the station, checked the schedule, and saw that a train headed roughly toward his home was set to leave in half an hour. "What luck!" said Toad, his spirits lifting quickly, and he headed to the ticket office to buy his ticket.
He gave the name of the station that he knew to be nearest to the village of which Toad Hall was the principal feature, and mechanically [Pg 207] put his fingers, in search of the necessary money, where his waistcoat pocket should have been. But here the cotton gown, which had nobly stood by him so far, and which he had basely forgotten, intervened, and frustrated his efforts. In a sort of nightmare he struggled with the strange uncanny thing that seemed to hold his hands, turn all muscular strivings to water, and laugh at him all the time; while other travellers, forming up in a line behind, waited with impatience, making suggestions of more or less value and comments of more or less stringency and point. At last—somehow—he never rightly understood how—he burst the barriers, attained the goal, arrived at where all waistcoat pockets are eternally situated, and found—not only no money, but no pocket to hold it, and no waistcoat to hold the pocket!
He mentioned the name of the station that he knew was closest to the village where Toad Hall was the main attraction, and instinctively reached for the money in what should have been his waistcoat pocket. But the cotton gown, which had bravely supported him so far, and which he had shamefully forgotten, got in the way and thwarted his attempts. In a sort of nightmare, he struggled with the strange, eerie thing that seemed to grip his hands, turning all his efforts into nothing, and laughing at him the whole time, while other travelers lined up behind him, waiting impatiently, offering suggestions of varying usefulness and making comments of different degrees of strictness and insight. Finally—somehow—he never really understood how—he managed to break free, reached his destination, arrived at where all waistcoat pockets are always located, and found—not only no money, but no pocket to hold it, and no waistcoat to hold the pocket!
To his horror he recollected that he had left both coat and waistcoat behind him in his cell, and with them his pocket-book, money, keys, watch, matches, pencil-case—all that makes life worth living, all that distinguishes the many-pocketed animal, the lord of creation, from the [Pg 208] inferior one-pocketed or no-pocketed productions that hop or trip about permissively, unequipped for the real contest.
To his shock, he remembered that he had left his coat and vest back in his cell, along with his wallet, cash, keys, watch, matches, and pencil case—all the essentials that make life worth living, everything that sets apart the multi-pocketed being, the ruler of creation, from the lesser one-pocketed or pocketless creatures that move around freely, unprepared for the real challenges. [Pg 208]
In his misery he made one desperate effort to carry the thing off, and, with a return to his fine old manner—a blend of the Squire and the College Don—he said, "Look here! I find I've left my purse behind. Just give me that ticket, will you, and I'll send the money on to-morrow? I'm well-known in these parts."
In his misery, he made a desperate attempt to play it cool, and, reverting to his usual charming self—a mix of the local gentleman and the university professor—he said, "Hey! I just realized I left my wallet behind. Can you give me that ticket? I’ll send the money tomorrow. I’m well-known around here."
The clerk stared at him and the rusty black bonnet a moment, and then laughed. "I should think you were pretty well known in these parts," he said, "if you've tried this game on often. Here, stand away from the window, please, madam; you're obstructing the other passengers!"
The clerk looked at him and the rusty black bonnet for a moment, then laughed. "I assume you're quite the local celebrity if you've pulled this trick before. Now, step back from the window, please, ma'am; you're blocking the other passengers!"
An old gentleman who had been prodding him in the back for some moments here thrust him away, and, what was worse, addressed him as his good woman, which angered Toad more than anything that had occurred that evening.
An older man who had been nudging him in the back for a while suddenly pushed him away and, even worse, called him his good woman, which upset Toad more than anything else that night.
Baffled and full of despair, he wandered blindly down the platform where the train was [Pg 209] standing, and tears trickled down each side of his nose. It was hard, he thought, to be within sight of safety and almost of home, and to be baulked by the want of a few wretched shillings and by the pettifogging mistrustfulness of paid officials. Very soon his escape would be discovered, the hunt would be up, he would be caught, reviled, loaded with chains, dragged back again to prison and bread-and-water and straw; his guards and penalties would be doubled; and O, what sarcastic remarks the girl would make! What was to be done? He was not swift of foot; his figure was unfortunately recognisable. Could he not squeeze under the seat of a carriage? He had seen this method adopted by schoolboys, when the journey-money provided by thoughtful parents had been diverted to other and better ends. As he pondered, he found himself opposite the engine, which was being oiled, wiped, and generally caressed by its affectionate driver, a burly man with an oil-can in one hand and a lump of cotton-waste in the other.
Baffled and full of despair, he wandered blindly down the platform where the train was [Pg 209] standing, and tears streamed down both sides of his nose. It was difficult, he thought, to be in sight of safety and almost home, only to be held back by the lack of a few miserable shillings and the petty distrust of paid officials. Soon his escape would be discovered, the search would begin, he would be caught, scorned, loaded with chains, and dragged back to prison and a diet of bread and water on straw; his guards and punishments would be increased; and oh, what sarcastic comments the girl would make! What could he do? He wasn’t fast; his appearance was unfortunately recognizable. Could he squeeze under the seat of a carriage? He had seen schoolboys doing this when the money for the journey provided by generous parents had been used for other, more enjoyable purposes. As he thought this over, he found himself facing the engine, which was being oiled, wiped, and generally pampered by its caring driver, a stocky man with an oil can in one hand and a piece of cotton waste in the other.
"Hullo, mother!" said the engine-driver, [Pg 210] "what's the trouble? You don't look particularly cheerful."
"Hey, Mom!" said the train driver, [Pg 210] "what's wrong? You don't seem very happy."
"O, sir!" said Toad, crying afresh, "I am a poor unhappy washerwoman, and I've lost all my money, and can't pay for a ticket, and I must get home to-night somehow, and whatever I am to do I don't know. O dear, O dear!"
"O, sir!" Toad said, crying again, "I'm a poor, unhappy washerwoman, and I've lost all my money and can't pay for a ticket, and I *must* get home tonight somehow, and I don't know what I'm going to do. Oh dear, oh dear!"
"That's a bad business, indeed," said the engine-driver reflectively. "Lost your money—and can't get home—and got some kids, too, waiting for you, I dare say?"
"That's really unfortunate," the engine driver said thoughtfully. "You've lost your money, can't get home, and I bet you have kids waiting for you too?"
"Any amount of 'em," sobbed Toad. "And they'll be hungry—and playing with matches—and upsetting lamps, the little innocents!—and quarrelling, and going on generally. O dear, O dear!"
"Any amount of them," cried Toad. "And they'll be hungry—and playing with matches—and knocking over lamps, the little darlings!—and fighting and causing chaos overall. Oh dear, oh dear!"
"Well, I'll tell you what I'll do," said the good engine-driver. "You're a washerwoman to your trade, says you. Very well, that's that. And I'm an engine-driver, as you well may see, and there's no denying it's terribly dirty work. Uses up a power of shirts, it does, till my missus is fair tired of washing of 'em. If you'll wash a few shirts for me when you get home, [Pg 211] and send 'em along, I'll give you a ride on my engine. It's against the Company's regulations, but we're not so very particular in these out-of-the-way parts."
"Well, here's what I'll do," said the friendly train driver. "You say you’re a washerwoman by trade. Alright, that’s settled. And as you can see, I’m a train driver, and I won’t deny that it’s really messy work. I go through a ton of shirts, and my wife is pretty fed up with washing them. If you could wash a few shirts for me when you get home, [Pg 211] and send them over, I’ll give you a ride on my train. It’s against the Company’s rules, but we’re not too strict in these remote areas."
The Toad's misery turned into rapture as he eagerly scrambled up into the cab of the engine. Of course, he had never washed a shirt in his life, and couldn't if he tried and, anyhow, he wasn't going to begin; but he thought: "When I get safely home to Toad Hall, and have money again, and pockets to put it in, I will send the engine-driver enough to pay for quite a quantity of washing, and that will be the same thing, or better."
The Toad's misery turned into joy as he eagerly climbed into the cab of the engine. Of course, he had never washed a shirt in his life, and he wouldn't know how even if he tried, and besides, he had no intention of starting now; but he thought: "When I get back home to Toad Hall, have money again, and pockets to put it in, I’ll send the driver enough to cover a whole bunch of laundry, and that’ll be just as good, if not better."
The guard waved his welcome flag, the engine-driver whistled in cheerful response, and the train moved out of the station. As the speed increased, and the Toad could see on either side of him real fields, and trees, and hedges, and cows, and horses, all flying past him, and as he thought how every minute was bringing him nearer to Toad Hall, and sympathetic friends, and money to chink in his pocket, and a soft bed to sleep in, and good things to eat, and [Pg 212] praise and admiration at the recital of his adventures and his surpassing cleverness, he began to skip up and down and shout and sing snatches of song, to the great astonishment of the engine-driver, who had come across washerwomen before, at long intervals, but never one at all like this.
The guard waved his welcome flag, the train driver whistled back happily, and the train pulled away from the station. As the speed picked up, the Toad could see real fields, trees, hedges, cows, and horses zooming by on either side. He thought about how each minute was taking him closer to Toad Hall, to friends who cared, to money jangling in his pocket, to a cozy bed to sleep in, to delicious food, and to the praise and admiration he would receive when he shared his adventures and his incredible cleverness. He couldn’t help but skip around, shout, and sing bits of songs, leaving the train driver completely amazed, since he had met washers before, but never one like this. [Pg 212]
They had covered many and many a mile, and Toad was already considering what he would have for supper as soon as he got home, when he noticed that the engine-driver, with a puzzled expression on his face, was leaning over the side of the engine and listening hard. Then he saw him climb on to the coals and gaze out over the top of the train; then he returned and said to Toad: "It's very strange; we're the last train running in this direction to-night, yet I could be sworn that I heard another following us!"
They had traveled many miles, and Toad was already thinking about what he would have for dinner as soon as he got home, when he noticed the engineer, looking confused, leaning over the side of the engine and listening intently. Then he saw the engineer climb onto the coal and look out over the top of the train; after that, he came back and said to Toad: "It's odd; we're the last train heading this way tonight, but I could swear I heard another one behind us!"
Toad ceased his frivolous antics at once. He became grave and depressed, and a dull pain in the lower part of his spine, communicating itself to his legs, made him want to sit down and try desperately not to think of all the possibilities. [Pg 213]
Toad stopped his silly behavior immediately. He grew serious and downcast, and a nagging pain in his lower back, spreading to his legs, made him feel like sitting down and desperately trying not to think about all the possibilities. [Pg 213]
By this time the moon was shining brightly, and the engine-driver, steadying himself on the coal, could command a view of the line behind them for a long distance.
By this time, the moon was shining brightly, and the train driver, balancing himself on the coal, could see a long way down the tracks behind them.
Presently he called out, "I can see it clearly now! It is an engine, on our rails, coming along at a great pace! It looks as if we were being pursued!"
"Right now, he shouted, 'I can see it clearly now! It’s a train on our tracks, moving really fast! It feels like we’re being chased!'"
The miserable Toad, crouching in the coal-dust, tried hard to think of something to do, with dismal want of success.
The miserable Toad, crouching in the coal dust, tried hard to come up with something to do, with really poor results.
"They are gaining on us fast!" cried the engine-driver. "And the engine is crowded with the queerest lot of people! Men like ancient warders, waving halberds; policemen in their helmets, waving truncheons; and shabbily dressed men in pot-hats, obvious and unmistakable plain-clothes detectives even at this distance, waving revolvers and walking-sticks; all waving, and all shouting the same thing—'Stop, stop, stop!'"
"They're catching up to us quickly!" shouted the train driver. "And the engine is packed with the strangest group of people! There are men like old guards, waving halberds; police officers in their helmets, swinging truncheons; and poorly dressed guys in top hats, clearly and unmistakably plainclothes detectives even from this far away, waving revolvers and canes; all of them waving and all shouting the same thing—'Stop, stop, stop!'"
Then Toad fell on his knees among the coals, and, raising his clasped paws in supplication, cried, "Save me, only save me, dear kind Mr. [Pg 214] Engine-driver, and I will confess everything! I am not the simple washerwoman I seem to be! I have no children waiting for me, innocent or otherwise! I am a toad—the well-known and popular Mr. Toad, a landed proprietor; I have just escaped, by my great daring and cleverness, from a loathsome dungeon into which my enemies had flung me; and if those fellows on that engine recapture me, it will be chains and bread-and-water and straw and misery once more for poor, unhappy, innocent Toad!"
Then Toad fell to his knees among the ashes, and, raising his clasped hands in pleading, shouted, "Save me, just save me, dear kind Mr. Engine-driver, and I'll confess everything! I'm not the simple washerwoman I appear to be! I have no children waiting for me, innocent or otherwise! I’m a toad—the famous and beloved Mr. Toad, a landowner; I just escaped, through my great courage and cleverness, from a terrible dungeon where my enemies had thrown me; and if those guys on that engine catch me again, it’ll be chains and bread-and-water and straw and misery once more for poor, unhappy, innocent Toad!"
The engine-driver looked down upon him very sternly, and said, "Now tell the truth; what were you put in prison for?"
The train driver looked down at him very seriously and said, "Now tell the truth; what were you imprisoned for?"
"It was nothing very much," said poor Toad, colouring deeply. "I only borrowed a motor-car while the owners were at lunch; they had no need of it at the time. I didn't mean to steal it, really; but people—especially magistrates—take such harsh views of thoughtless and high-spirited actions."
"It wasn't a big deal," said poor Toad, blushing deeply. "I just borrowed a car while the owners were at lunch; they didn't need it at the moment. I didn't mean to steal it, honestly; but people—especially judges—are so quick to judge impulsive and carefree actions."
The engine-driver looked very grave and said, "I fear that you have been indeed a wicked toad, and by rights I ought to give you up to [Pg 215] offended justice. But you are evidently in sore trouble and distress, so I will not desert you. I don't hold with motor-cars, for one thing; and I don't hold with being ordered about by policemen when I'm on my own engine, for another. And the sight of an animal in tears always makes me feel queer and soft-hearted. So cheer up, Toad! I'll do my best, and we may beat them yet!"
The train driver looked very serious and said, "I’m afraid you’ve really been a terrible toad, and technically I should hand you over to offended justice. But I can see you're in a lot of trouble and distress, so I won't abandon you. For one, I’m not a fan of motor cars, and for another, I don’t like being bossed around by cops when I'm driving my own train. And seeing an animal cry always makes me feel odd and soft-hearted. So cheer up, Toad! I’ll do my best, and we might just get through this!"
They piled on more coals, shovelling furiously; the furnace roared, the sparks flew, the engine leapt and swung, but still their pursuers slowly gained. The engine-driver, with a sigh, wiped his brow with a handful of cotton-waste, and said, "I'm afraid it's no good, Toad. You see, they are running light, and they have the better engine. There's just one thing left for us to do, and it's your only chance, so attend very carefully to what I tell you. A short way ahead of us is a long tunnel, and on the other side of that the line passes through a thick wood. Now, I will put on all the speed I can while we are running through the tunnel, but the other fellows will slow down a bit, naturally, [Pg 216] for fear of an accident. When we are through, I will shut off steam and put on brakes as hard as I can, and the moment it's safe to do so you must jump and hide in the wood, before they get through the tunnel and see you. Then I will go full speed ahead again, and they can chase me if they like, for as long as they like, and as far as they like. Now mind and be ready to jump when I tell you!"
They added more coals, shoveling like crazy; the furnace roared, sparks flew, and the engine jumped and swung, but their pursuers were still slowly catching up. The engineer sighed, wiped his forehead with a handful of cotton rags, and said, "I'm afraid this isn't looking good, Toad. You see, they're lighter and they have a better engine. There's only one thing left for us to do, and it's your only shot, so pay close attention to what I say. Up ahead is a long tunnel, and on the other side, the tracks go through a dense forest. I'll try to speed through the tunnel as much as I can, but the other guys will naturally slow down a bit to avoid an accident. Once we're through, I'll cut the steam and hit the brakes as hard as I can, and as soon as it’s safe, you need to jump and hide in the woods before they come through the tunnel and spot you. After that, I'll go full speed ahead again, and they can chase me as long as they want and as far as they want. Just make sure you're ready to jump when I tell you!"
They piled on more coals, and the train shot into the tunnel, and the engine rushed and roared and rattled, till at last they shot out at the other end into fresh air and the peaceful moonlight, and saw the wood lying dark and helpful upon either side of the line. The driver shut off steam and put on brakes, the Toad got down on the step, and as the train slowed down to almost a walking pace he heard the driver call out, "Now, jump!"
They added more coal, and the train rushed into the tunnel, with the engine roaring and rattling, until they finally burst out the other end into fresh air and the calm moonlight, seeing the dark woods on either side of the tracks. The driver cut the steam and applied the brakes, Toad got down on the step, and as the train slowed to nearly a walking pace, he heard the driver shout, "Now, jump!"
Toad jumped, rolled down a short embankment, picked himself up unhurt, scrambled into the wood and hid.
Toad jumped, rolled down a small hill, picked himself up without a scratch, scrambled into the woods, and hid.
Peeping out, he saw his train get up speed again and disappear at a great pace. Then [Pg 217] out of the tunnel burst the pursuing engine, roaring and whistling, her motley crew waving their various weapons and shouting, "Stop! stop! stop!" When they were past, the Toad had a hearty laugh—for the first time since he was thrown into prison.
Peeking out, he watched his train speed up again and vanish quickly. Then [Pg 217] out of the tunnel came the chasing engine, roaring and whistling, with its colorful crew waving their different weapons and shouting, "Stop! stop! stop!" Once they passed, Toad had a good laugh—for the first time since he was thrown in jail.
But he soon stopped laughing when he came to consider that it was now very late and dark and cold, and he was in an unknown wood, with no money and no chance of supper, and still far from friends and home; and the dead silence of everything, after the roar and rattle of the train, was something of a shock. He dared not leave the shelter of the trees, so he struck into the wood, with the idea of leaving the railway as far as possible behind him.
But he quickly stopped laughing when he realized that it was very late, dark, and cold, and he was in an unfamiliar forest, with no money and no hope of dinner, and still far from friends and home. The complete silence around him, after the noise and commotion of the train, was a bit of a shock. He didn’t dare to leave the safety of the trees, so he ventured deeper into the woods, with the intention of putting as much distance as possible between himself and the railway.
After so many weeks within walls, he found the wood strange and unfriendly and inclined, he thought, to make fun of him. Night-jars, sounding their mechanical rattle, made him think that the wood was full of searching warders, closing in on him. An owl, swooping noiselessly towards him, brushed his shoulder with its wing, making him jump with the [Pg 218] horrid certainty that it was a hand; then flitted off, moth-like, laughing its low ho! ho! ho! which Toad thought in very poor taste. Once he met a fox, who stopped, looked him up and down in a sarcastic sort of way, and said, "Hullo, washerwoman! Half a pair of socks and a pillow-case short this week! Mind it doesn't occur again!" and swaggered off, sniggering. Toad looked about for a stone to throw at him, but could not succeed in finding one, which vexed him more than anything. At last, cold, hungry, and tired out, he sought the shelter of a hollow tree, where with branches and dead leaves he made himself as comfortable a bed as he could, and slept soundly till the morning. [Pg 219]
After so many weeks indoors, he found the woods strange and unwelcoming, as if, he thought, they were mocking him. The nightjars, with their mechanical rattle, made him feel like the woods were filled with searching guards closing in on him. An owl swooped silently toward him, brushing his shoulder with its wing, making him jump with the horrifying thought that it was a hand; then it flitted away, like a moth, laughing its low ho! ho! ho! which Toad thought was in very poor taste. Once, he encountered a fox, who paused, looked him up and down sarcastically, and said, "Hey there, washerwoman! Looks like you're short half a pair of socks and a pillowcase this week! Don’t let it happen again!” before swaggering off, smirking. Toad searched for a stone to throw at him but couldn’t find one, which frustrated him more than anything else. Finally, cold, hungry, and exhausted, he sought shelter in a hollow tree, where he made the best bed he could with branches and dead leaves, and slept soundly until morning.
THE Water Rat was restless, and he did not exactly know why. To all appearance the summer's pomp was still at fullest height, and although in the tilled acres green had given way to gold, though rowans were reddening, and the woods were dashed here and there with a tawny fierceness, yet light and warmth and colour were still present in undiminished measure, clean of any chilly premonitions of the passing year. But the constant chorus of the orchards and hedges had shrunk to a casual evensong from a few yet unwearied performers; the robin was beginning to assert himself once more; and there was a feeling in the air of change and departure. The cuckoo, of course, had long been silent; but many another feathered friend, for months a part of the familiar landscape and its small society, was [Pg 222] missing too, and it seemed that the ranks thinned steadily day by day. Rat, ever observant of all winged movement, saw that it was taking daily a southing tendency; and even as he lay in bed at night he thought he could make out, passing in the darkness overhead, the beat and quiver of impatient pinions, obedient to the peremptory call.
THE Water Rat was restless, and he wasn't sure why. From all appearances, summer was still at its peak, and even though the green fields had turned to gold, rowan berries were ripening, and the woods were splashed with a fierce brown, light, warmth, and color were still present in full force, without any hint of the approaching chill of fall. But the lively chorus of the orchards and hedges had faded to a casual evening song from just a few remaining singers; the robin was starting to make his presence felt again; and there was a sense of change and leaving in the air. The cuckoo, of course, had been silent for a while; but many other feathered friends, who had been part of the familiar scene and its small community for months, were also gone, and it seemed the ranks were thinning steadily each day. Rat, always noticing every fluttering movement, saw that the birds were flying south more each day; and even as he lay in bed at night, he thought he could hear the beat and flutter of eager wings passing over him in the darkness, responding to a strong call.
Nature's Grand Hotel has its Season, like the others. As the guests one by one pack, pay, and depart, and the seats at the table-d'hôte shrink pitifully at each succeeding meal; as suites of rooms are closed, carpets taken up, and waiters sent away; those boarders who are staying on, en pension, until the next year's full re-opening, cannot help being somewhat affected by all these flittings and farewells, this eager discussion of plans, routes, and fresh quarters, this daily shrinkage in the stream of comradeship. One gets unsettled, depressed, and inclined to be querulous. Why this craving for change? Why not stay on quietly here, like us, and be jolly? You don't know this hotel out [Pg 223] of the season, and what fun we have among ourselves, we fellows who remain and see the whole interesting year out. All very true, no doubt, the others always reply; we quite envy you—and some other year perhaps—but just now we have engagements—and there's the bus at the door—our time is up! So they depart, with a smile and a nod, and we miss them, and feel resentful. The Rat was a self-sufficing sort of animal, rooted to the land, and, whoever went, he stayed; still, he could not help noticing what was in the air, and feeling some of its influence in his bones.
Nature's Grand Hotel has its season, just like the others. As the guests gradually pack up, settle their bills, and leave, and the seats at the table-d'hôte dwindle at each meal; as rooms are closed, carpets rolled up, and waiters sent home; those boarders who are staying on, en pension, until next year’s full reopening can’t help but be affected by all these moves and goodbyes, the eager talks about plans, routes, and new places, and the daily decrease in the flow of friendships. You start to feel unsettled, down, and a bit cranky. Why this need for change? Why not stick around quietly like us and have a good time? You don’t know this hotel out of season and the fun we have among ourselves, those of us who remain and see the whole interesting year through. That’s all very true, the others always reply; we really envy you—and maybe another year—but right now we have plans—and the bus is waiting—our time’s up! So they leave, smiling and nodding, and we miss them and feel resentful. The Rat was a self-sufficient kind of creature, rooted in the land, and no matter who left, he stayed; still, he couldn’t help but notice what was in the air and feel its influence in his bones.
It was difficult to settle down to anything seriously, with all this flitting going on. Leaving the water-side, where rushes stood thick and tall in a stream that was becoming sluggish and low, he wandered country-wards, crossed a field or two of pasturage already looking dusty and parched, and thrust into the great sea of wheat, yellow, wavy, and murmurous, full of quiet motion and small whisperings. Here he often loved to wander, through the forest of stiff strong stalks that carried their own golden sky away over his head—a sky that was always [Pg 224] dancing, shimmering, softly talking; or swaying strongly to the passing wind and recovering itself with a toss and a merry laugh. Here, too, he had many small friends, a society complete in itself, leading full and busy lives, but always with a spare moment to gossip, and exchange news with a visitor. To-day, however, though they were civil enough, the field-mice and harvest mice seemed pre-occupied. Many were digging and tunnelling busily; others, gathered together in small groups, examined plans and drawings of small flats, stated to be desirable and compact, and situated conveniently near the Stores. Some were hauling out dusty trunks and dress-baskets, others were already elbow-deep packing their belongings; while everywhere piles and bundles of wheat, oats, barley, beech-mast and nuts, lay about ready for transport.
It was tough to focus on anything serious with all this constant movement happening. Leaving the riverside, where the tall rushes grew thick in a stream that was slowing down and getting low, he wandered toward the countryside, crossed a couple of fields that were already looking dry and dusty, and stepped into the vast sea of wheat—yellow, wavy, and whispering, filled with gentle movement and soft murmurs. This was a place he often loved to roam, through the forest of strong, sturdy stalks that carried their own golden sky above him—a sky that was always dancing, shimmering, and softly chatting, or swaying robustly to the passing wind, recovering with a toss and a cheerful laugh. Here, too, he had many little friends, a community in itself, leading busy lives but always having a moment to gossip and share news with a visitor. Today, though they were polite enough, the field mice and harvest mice seemed distracted. Many were digging and tunneling busily; others gathered in small groups, looking over plans and drawings for small flats, claimed to be desirable and compact, conveniently located near the Stores. Some were draggin dusty trunks and dress-baskets out, while others were already deep in packing their things; and everywhere, piles and bundles of wheat, oats, barley, beech mast, and nuts lay around, ready for transport.
"Here's old Ratty!" they cried as soon as they saw him. "Come and bear a hand, Rat, and don't stand about idle!"
"Here’s old Ratty!" they shouted as soon as they spotted him. "Come and help out, Rat, and don’t just stand there doing nothing!"
"What sort of games are you up to?" said the Water Rat severely. "You know it isn't [Pg 225] time to be thinking of winter quarters yet, by a long way!"
"What kind of games are you playing?" the Water Rat said firmly. "You know it’s way too early to be thinking about winter quarters!" [Pg 225]
"O yes, we know that," explained a field-mouse rather shamefacedly; "but it's always as well to be in good time, isn't it? We really must get all the furniture and baggage and stores moved out of this before those horrid machines begin clicking round the fields; and then, you know, the best flats get picked up so quickly nowadays, and if you're late you have to put up with anything; and they want such a lot of doing up, too, before they're fit to move into. Of course, we're early, we know that; but we're only just making a start."
"Oh yes, we know that," a field mouse explained a bit sheepishly; "but it’s always better to be early, right? We really have to get all the furniture, luggage, and supplies moved out of here before those awful machines start rolling through the fields; and you know, the best places get taken up so quickly these days, and if you're late, you have to settle for anything; plus, they need so much fixing up before they’re ready to live in. Of course, we’re early, we know that; but we’re just starting out."
"O, bother starts," said the Rat. "It's a splendid day. Come for a row, or a stroll along the hedges, or a picnic in the woods, or something."
"Oh, come on," said the Rat. "It's a beautiful day. Let's go for a row, or take a walk along the hedges, or have a picnic in the woods, or something."
"Well, I think not to-day, thank you," replied the field-mouse hurriedly. "Perhaps some other day—when we've more time—"
"Well, I don’t think so today, thanks," replied the field-mouse quickly. "Maybe another day—when we have more time—"
The Rat, with a snort of contempt, swung round to go, tripped over a hat-box, and fell, with undignified remarks. [Pg 226]
The Rat, with a snort of disdain, turned to leave, tripped over a hat box, and fell, making undignified comments. [Pg 226]
"If people would be more careful," said a field-mouse rather stiffly, "and look where they're going, people wouldn't hurt themselves—and forget themselves. Mind that hold-all, Rat! You'd better sit down somewhere. In an hour or two we may be more free to attend to you."
"If people were more careful," said a field mouse a bit stiffly, "and paid attention to where they’re going, they wouldn’t hurt themselves—or get lost in their own thoughts. Watch out for that bag, Rat! You should sit down somewhere. In an hour or two, we might be free to take care of you."
"You won't be 'free' as you call it, much this side of Christmas, I can see that," retorted the Rat grumpily, as he picked his way out of the field.
"You won't be 'free' like you say, not much before Christmas, I can tell," the Rat replied grumpily, as he made his way out of the field.
He returned somewhat despondently to his river again—his faithful, steady-going old river, which never packed up, flitted, or went into winter quarters.
He returned somewhat sadly to his river again—his loyal, reliable old river, which never packed up, flitted away, or went into hibernation.
In the osiers which fringed the bank he spied a swallow sitting. Presently it was joined by another, and then by a third; and the birds, fidgeting restlessly on their bough, talked together earnestly and low.
In the willows along the riverbank, he spotted a swallow resting. Soon, another one joined it, followed by a third; the birds, shifting restlessly on their branch, chatted together quietly and seriously.
"What, already," said the Rat, strolling up to them. "What's the hurry? I call it simply ridiculous."
"What, already," said the Rat, walking over to them. "What's the rush? I think it's just absurd."
"O, we're not off yet, if that's what you [Pg 227] mean," replied the first swallow. "We're only making plans and arranging things. Talking it over, you know—what route we're taking this year, and where we'll stop, and so on. That's half the fun!"
"O, we're not off yet, if that's what you mean," replied the first swallow. "We're just making plans and organizing things. Discussing it, you know—what route we're taking this year, where we'll stop, and all that. That's half the fun!"
"Fun?" said the Rat; "now that's just what I don't understand. If you've got to leave this pleasant place, and your friends who will miss you, and your snug homes that you've just settled into, why, when the hour strikes I've no doubt you'll go bravely, and face all the trouble and discomfort and change and newness, and make believe that you're not very unhappy. But to want to talk about it, or even think about it, till you really need—"
"Fun?" said the Rat; "that's exactly what I don't get. If you have to leave this nice place, your friends who will miss you, and your cozy homes that you've just gotten used to, then when the time comes, I’m sure you'll go ahead and face all the trouble, discomfort, change, and unfamiliarity, pretending that you're not too unhappy. But to want to talk about it, or even think about it, until you really have to—"
"No, you don't understand, naturally," said the second swallow. "First, we feel it stirring within us, a sweet unrest; then back come the recollections one by one, like homing pigeons. They flutter through our dreams at night, they fly with us in our wheelings and circlings by day. We hunger to inquire of each other, to compare notes and assure ourselves that it was all really true, as one by one the scents and [Pg 228] sounds and names of long-forgotten places come gradually back and beckon to us."
"No, you don't get it, of course," said the second swallow. "First, we feel something stirring inside us, a sweet restlessness; then the memories return one by one, like homing pigeons. They flutter through our dreams at night and fly with us in our loops and circles during the day. We have this urge to ask each other questions, to compare experiences and reassure ourselves that it was all really real, as one by one the smells and sounds and names of long-forgotten places gradually come back and call to us."
"Couldn't you stop on for just this year?" suggested the Water Rat, wistfully. "We'll all do our best to make you feel at home. You've no idea what good times we have here, while you are far away."
"Why don't you stay for just this year?" suggested the Water Rat, with a hint of longing. "We'll all do our best to make you feel at home. You have no idea how much fun we have here while you're away."
"I tried 'stopping on' one year," said the third swallow. "I had grown so fond of the place that when the time came I hung back and let the others go on without me. For a few weeks it was all well enough, but afterwards, O the weary length of the nights! The shivering, sunless days! The air so clammy and chill, and not an insect in an acre of it! No, it was no good; my courage broke down, and one cold, stormy night I took wing, flying well inland on account of the strong easterly gales. It was snowing hard as I beat through the passes of the great mountains, and I had a stiff fight to win through; but never shall I forget the blissful feeling of the hot sun again on my back as I sped down to the lakes that lay so blue and placid below me, and the taste of my first fat [Pg 229] insect! The past was like a bad dream; the future was all happy holiday as I moved southwards week by week, easily, lazily, lingering as long as I dared, but always heeding the call! No, I had had my warning; never again did I think of disobedience."
"I tried to stay in one place for a year," said the third swallow. "I had grown so attached to the spot that when it was time to leave, I hesitated and let the others go on without me. For a few weeks, everything was fine, but then, oh, the long, tiring nights! The cold, sunless days! The air was so damp and chilly, and there wasn’t a single insect around! No, it didn't work out; I lost my courage, and one cold, stormy night, I took off, flying far inland because of the strong east winds. It was snowing heavily as I fought my way through the mountain passes, and it was a tough battle to get through; but I’ll never forget the blissful feeling of the warm sun on my back as I soared down to the lakes that lay so blue and calm below me, and the taste of my first juicy insect! The past felt like a bad dream; the future was just a series of happy adventures as I traveled southwards week by week, easily, lazily, staying as long as I could, but always listening for the call! No, I had my warning; I never considered disobeying again."
"Ah, yes, the call of the South, of the South!" twittered the other two dreamily. "Its songs, its hues, its radiant air! O, do you remember—" and, forgetting the Rat, they slid into passionate reminiscence, while he listened fascinated, and his heart burned within him. In himself, too, he knew that it was vibrating at last, that chord hitherto dormant and unsuspected. The mere chatter of these southern-bound birds, their pale and second-hand reports, had yet power to awaken this wild new sensation and thrill him through and through with it; what would one moment of the real thing work in him—one passionate touch of the real southern sun, one waft of the authentic odour? With closed eyes he dared to dream a moment in full abandonment, and when he looked again the river seemed steely and chill, the green [Pg 230] fields grey and lightless. Then his loyal heart seemed to cry out on his weaker self for its treachery.
"Ah, yes, the pull of the South, of the South!" chirped the other two dreamily. "Its songs, its colors, its bright air! Oh, do you remember—" and, forgetting about the Rat, they slipped into a passionate nostalgia, while he listened, captivated, and felt a fire ignite within him. Deep down, he realized that it was finally awakening that chord within him that had been dormant and unnoticed before. The simple chatter of these birds heading south, their faint and secondhand experiences, still had the power to stir this wild new feeling and fill him with excitement; what would just a moment of the real thing do to him—one intense ray of the true southern sun, one whiff of the genuine scent? With his eyes closed, he allowed himself to dream for a moment in total surrender, and when he opened them again, the river appeared cold and steely, the green fields dull and lifeless. Then his loyal heart seemed to chastise his weaker self for its betrayal.
"Why do you ever come back, then, at all?" he demanded of the swallows jealously. "What do you find to attract you in this poor drab little country?"
"Why do you even come back at all?" he asked the swallows with jealousy. "What is it that draws you to this dull little country?"
"And do you think," said the first swallow, "that the other call is not for us too, in its due season? The call of lush meadow-grass, wet orchards, warm, insect-haunted ponds, of browsing cattle, of haymaking, and all the farm-buildings clustering round the House of the perfect Eaves?"
"And do you think," said the first swallow, "that the other call isn't for us as well, in its own time? The call of lush meadow grass, wet orchards, warm ponds filled with insects, grazing cattle, haymaking, and all the barns gathering around the House of the perfect Eaves?"
"Do you suppose," asked the second one, "that you are the only living thing that craves with a hungry longing to hear the cuckoo's note again?"
"Do you think," asked the second one, "that you’re the only living thing that yearns with a deep desire to hear the cuckoo’s call again?"
"In due time," said the third, "we shall be home-sick once more for quiet water-lilies swaying on the surface of an English stream. But to-day all that seems pale and thin and very far away. Just now our blood dances to other music." [Pg 231]
"In due time," said the third, "we'll long for the calm of water lilies swaying on the surface of an English stream once again. But today, all of that feels faint and distant. Right now, our energy flows with a different rhythm." [Pg 231]
They fell a-twittering among themselves once more, and this time their intoxicating babble was of violet seas, tawny sands, and lizard-haunted walls.
They started chattering among themselves again, and this time their exciting talk was about purple seas, golden sands, and walls filled with lizards.
Restlessly the Rat wandered off once more, climbed the slope that rose gently from the north bank of the river, and lay looking out towards the great ring of Downs that barred his vision further southwards—his simple horizon hitherto, his Mountains of the Moon, his limit behind which lay nothing he had cared to see or to know. To-day, to him gazing South with a new-born need stirring in his heart, the clear sky over their long low outline seemed to pulsate with promise; to-day, the unseen was everything, the unknown the only real fact of life. On this side of the hills was now the real blank, on the other lay the crowded and coloured panorama that his inner eye was seeing so clearly. What seas lay beyond, green, leaping, and crested! What sun-bathed coasts, along which the white villas glittered against the olive woods! What quiet harbours, thronged with gallant shipping bound for purple islands of [Pg 232] wine and spice, islands set low in languorous waters!
Restlessly, the Rat wandered off again, climbed the gentle slope from the north bank of the river, and lay looking out toward the great ring of Downs that blocked his view further south—his simple horizon until now, his Mountains of the Moon, his boundary beyond which lay nothing he had wanted to see or know. Today, as he gazed south with a newfound yearning in his heart, the clear sky over their long low outline seemed to throb with promise; today, the unseen was everything, the unknown the only real aspect of life. On this side of the hills was now the true blank, while on the other lay the busy and vibrant panorama that his inner eye was seeing so clearly. What seas lay beyond, green, leaping, and crested! What sun-drenched coasts, along which white villas sparkled against the olive groves! What peaceful harbors, filled with bold ships heading for purple islands of wine and spice, islands set low in languorous waters!
He rose and descended river-wards once more; then changed his mind and sought the side of the dusty lane. There, lying half-buried in the thick, cool under-hedge tangle that bordered it, he could muse on the metalled road and all the wondrous world that it led to; on all the wayfarers, too, that might have trodden it, and the fortunes and adventures they had gone to seek or found unseeking—out there, beyond—beyond!
He got up and headed down toward the river again; then he changed his mind and went over to the side of the dusty road. There, half-buried in the thick, cool undergrowth that lined it, he could think about the paved road and all the amazing places it led to; about all the travelers who might have walked it and the fortunes and adventures they set out to find or stumbled upon—out there, beyond—beyond!
Footsteps fell on his ear, and the figure of one that walked somewhat wearily came into view; and he saw that it was a Rat, and a very dusty one. The wayfarer, as he reached him, saluted with a gesture of courtesy that had something foreign about it—hesitated a moment—then with a pleasant smile turned from the track and sat down by his side in the cool herbage. He seemed tired, and the Rat let him rest unquestioned, understanding something of what was in his thoughts; knowing, too, the value all animals attach at times to mere silent [Pg 233] companionship, when the weary muscles slacken and the mind marks time.
Footsteps echoed in his ears, and he noticed a figure walking somewhat wearily approaching; it turned out to be a Rat, and quite a dusty one at that. As the traveler reached him, he greeted him with a courteous gesture that felt a bit foreign—hesitating for a moment—then with a friendly smile, he stepped off the path and sat down beside him in the cool grass. He seemed tired, and the Rat allowed him to rest without asking questions, sensing something of what was on his mind; he also knew how much animals sometimes value simply being together in silence when their exhausted bodies relax and their minds take a break.
The wayfarer was lean and keen-featured, and somewhat bowed at the shoulders; his paws were thin and long, his eyes much wrinkled at the corners, and he wore small gold ear rings in his neatly-set well-shaped ears. His knitted jersey was of a faded blue, his breeches, patched and stained, were based on a blue foundation, and his small belongings that he carried were tied up in a blue cotton handkerchief.
The traveler was slim and sharp-looking, with slightly slumped shoulders. His hands were thin and long, his eyes had many wrinkles at the corners, and he wore small gold earrings in his well-shaped ears. His knitted sweater was a faded blue, his patched and stained pants had a blue base, and his few possessions were wrapped up in a blue cotton handkerchief.
When he had rested awhile the stranger sighed, snuffed the air, and looked about him.
When he had rested for a while, the stranger sighed, took in the air, and looked around.
"That was clover, that warm whiff on the breeze," he remarked; "and those are cows we hear cropping the grass behind us and blowing softly between mouthfuls. There is a sound of distant reapers, and yonder rises a blue line of cottage smoke against the woodland. The river runs somewhere close by, for I hear the call of a moorhen, and I see by your build that you're a freshwater mariner. Everything seems asleep, and yet going on all the time. It is a goodly life that you lead, friend; no doubt the [Pg 234] best in the world, if only you are strong enough to lead it!"
"That was the smell of clover on the warm breeze," he said. "And those are cows we hear munching on the grass behind us, softly blowing between bites. I can hear distant reapers, and over there, I see a blue line of smoke from a cottage rising through the trees. The river must be nearby because I hear the call of a moorhen, and I can tell by your build that you're a freshwater sailor. Everything feels asleep, yet it's all still happening. You lead a good life, my friend; undoubtedly one of the best in the world, as long as you’re strong enough to embrace it!"
"Yes, it's the life, the only life, to live," responded the Water Rat dreamily, and without his usual whole-hearted conviction.
"Yes, it's the life, the only life, to live," replied the Water Rat dreamily, and without his usual strong conviction.
"I did not say exactly that," replied the stranger cautiously; "but no doubt it's the best. I've tried it, and I know. And because I've just tried it—six months of it—and know it's the best, here am I, footsore and hungry, tramping away from it, tramping southwards, following the old call, back to the old life, the life which is mine and which will not let me go."
"I didn't say exactly that," the stranger replied carefully; "but I'm sure it's the best. I've experienced it, and I know. And because I've just gone through it—six months of it—and I know it's the best, here I am, tired and hungry, walking away from it, heading south, following the old call, back to the old life, the life that's mine and won't let me go."
"Is this, then, yet another of them?" mused the Rat. "And where have you just come from?" he asked. He hardly dared to ask where he was bound for; he seemed to know the answer only too well.
"Is this, then, yet another one of them?" the Rat wondered. "And where did you just come from?" he asked. He barely had the courage to ask where he was headed; he felt he already knew the answer all too well.
"Nice little farm," replied the wayfarer, briefly. "Upalong in that direction—" he nodded northwards. "Never mind about it. I had everything I could want—everything I had any right to expect of life, and more; and [Pg 235] here I am! Glad to be here all the same, though, glad to be here! So many miles further on the road, so many hours nearer to my heart's desire!"
"Nice little farm," the traveler said, casually. "It's up that way—" he pointed north. "But don't worry about it. I had everything I could want—everything I had any right to expect from life, and even more; and here I am! I'm glad to be here regardless, really glad to be here! So many miles further down the road, so many hours closer to what I truly want!"
His shining eyes held fast to the horizon, and he seemed to be listening for some sound that was wanting from that inland acreage, vocal as it was with the cheerful music of pasturage and farmyard.
His shining eyes were fixed on the horizon, and he appeared to be listening for a sound that was missing from the fields, which were alive with the cheerful sounds of grazing animals and the farmyard.
"You are not one of us," said the Water Rat, "nor yet a farmer; nor even, I should judge, of this country."
"You’re not one of us," said the Water Rat, "nor a farmer, and I would guess you’re not even from around here."
"Right," replied the stranger. "I'm a seafaring rat, I am, and the port I originally hail from is Constantinople, though I'm a sort of a foreigner there too, in a manner of speaking. You will have heard of Constantinople, friend? A fair city and an ancient and glorious one. And you may have heard too, of Sigurd, King of Norway, and how he sailed thither with sixty ships, and how he and his men rode up through streets all canopied in their honour with purple and gold; and how the Emperor and Empress came down and banqueted with him on board [Pg 236] his ship. When Sigurd returned home, many of his Northmen remained behind and entered the Emperor's body-guard, and my ancestor, a Norwegian born, stayed behind too, with the ships that Sigurd gave the Emperor. Seafarers we have ever been, and no wonder; as for me, the city of my birth is no more my home than any pleasant port between there and the London River. I know them all, and they know me. Set me down on any of their quays or foreshores, and I am home again."
"Right," replied the stranger. "I'm a seafaring rat, I am, and the port I originally come from is Constantinople, though I'm kind of a foreigner there too, in a way. You've heard of Constantinople, right? It's a beautiful city, ancient and glorious. And you might have also heard about Sigurd, King of Norway, and how he sailed there with sixty ships, and how he and his men rode through the streets decorated in their honor with purple and gold; and how the Emperor and Empress came down and feasted with him on board his ship. When Sigurd went back home, many of his Northmen stayed behind and joined the Emperor's bodyguard, and my ancestor, who was Norwegian, stayed behind too, with the ships that Sigurd gave the Emperor. We've always been seafarers, and it's no surprise; as for me, the city where I was born is no more my home than any pleasant port between there and the London River. I know them all, and they know me. Just put me down on any of their docks or shorelines, and I'm home again."
"I suppose you go great voyages," said the Water Rat with growing interest. "Months and months out of sight of land, and provisions running short, and allowanced as to water, and your mind communing with the mighty ocean, and all that sort of thing?"
"I guess you take long trips," said the Water Rat with increasing curiosity. "Months and months away from land, with supplies running low, limited water, and your thoughts connecting with the vast ocean, and all that kind of stuff?"
"By no means," said the Sea Rat frankly. "Such a life as you describe would not suit me at all. I'm in the coasting trade, and rarely out of sight of land. It's the jolly times on shore that appeal to me, as much as any seafaring. O, those southern seaports! The smell of them, the riding-lights at night, the glamour!" [Pg 237]
"Not at all," said the Sea Rat honestly. "The life you’re talking about wouldn’t work for me at all. I’m in the coastal trade and hardly ever out of sight of land. It’s the fun times on shore that attract me, as much as any sea adventure. Oh, those southern seaports! The smell of them, the lights on the water at night, the excitement!" [Pg 237]
"Well, perhaps you have chosen the better way," said the Water Rat, but rather doubtfully. "Tell me something of your coasting, then, if you have a mind to, and what sort of harvest an animal of spirit might hope to bring home from it to warm his latter days with gallant memories by the fireside; for my life, I confess to you, feels to me to-day somewhat narrow and circumscribed."
"Well, maybe you’ve picked the better path," said the Water Rat, though he sounded a bit unsure. "If you’re willing, tell me about your travels along the coast and what kind of rewards a spirited animal might expect to bring back to enjoy in later years with great memories by the fire; because honestly, I have to admit that my life feels a bit limited and confined today."
"My last voyage," began the Sea Rat, "that landed me eventually in this country, bound with high hopes for my inland farm, will serve as a good example of any of them, and, indeed, as an epitome of my highly-coloured life. Family troubles, as usual, began it. The domestic storm-cone was hoisted, and I shipped myself on board a small trading vessel bound from Constantinople, by classic seas whose every wave throbs with a deathless memory, to the Grecian Islands and the Levant. Those were golden days and balmy nights! In and out of harbour all the time—old friends everywhere—sleeping in some cool temple or ruined cistern during the heat of the day—feasting and song after [Pg 238] sundown, under great stars set in a velvet sky! Thence we turned and coasted up the Adriatic, its shores swimming in an atmosphere of amber, rose, and aquamarine; we lay in wide landlocked harbours, we roamed through ancient and noble cities, until at last one morning, as the sun rose royally behind us, we rode into Venice down a path of gold. O, Venice is a fine city, wherein a rat can wander at his ease and take his pleasure! Or, when weary of wandering, can sit at the edge of the Grand Canal at night, feasting with his friends, when the air is full of music and the sky full of stars, and the lights flash and shimmer on the polished steel prows of the swaying gondolas, packed so that you could walk across the canal on them from side to side! And then the food—do you like shell-fish? Well, well, we won't linger over that now."
"My last voyage," started the Sea Rat, "that eventually brought me to this country, hopeful about my inland farm, will serve as a good example of any of them, and, in fact, it's a summary of my colorful life. Family issues, as always, kicked it off. The domestic storm signal was raised, and I boarded a small trading ship heading from Constantinople, through classic seas that pulse with everlasting memories, to the Greek Islands and the Levant. Those were golden days and pleasant nights! Constantly moving in and out of ports—old friends everywhere—sleeping in some cool temple or a ruined cistern during the heat of the day—celebrating and singing after sundown, under great stars set in a velvet sky! Then we turned and sailed up the Adriatic, its shores bathed in amber, rose, and aquamarine; we anchored in wide protected harbors, roamed through ancient and magnificent cities, until finally one morning, as the sun rose majestically behind us, we glided into Venice along a path of gold. Oh, Venice is a beautiful city, where a rat can wander leisurely and take his pleasure! Or, when tired of exploring, can sit by the edge of the Grand Canal at night, enjoying a feast with friends, while the air is filled with music and the sky is studded with stars, and the lights dance and glimmer on the sleek steel prows of the swaying gondolas, crowded enough to walk across the canal from side to side! And then the food—do you like shellfish? Well, well, we won't dwell on that now."
He was silent for a time; and the Water Rat, silent too and enthralled, floated on dream-canals and heard a phantom song pealing high between vaporous grey wave-lapped walls.
He was quiet for a while; and the Water Rat, also silent and captivated, drifted on dreamlike canals and listened to a ghostly song ringing out between misty grey, wave-washed walls.
"Southwards we sailed again at last," continued the Sea Rat, "coasting down the Italian [Pg 239] shore, till finally we made Palermo, and there I quitted for a long, happy spell on shore. I never stick too long to one ship; one gets narrow-minded and prejudiced. Besides, Sicily is one of my happy hunting-grounds. I know everybody there, and their ways just suit me. I spent many jolly weeks in the island, staying with friends upcountry. When I grew restless again I took advantage of a ship that was trading to Sardinia and Corsica; and very glad I was to feel the fresh breeze and the sea-spray in my face once more."
"Finally, we sailed south again," the Sea Rat said, "coasting down the Italian [Pg 239] shore until we reached Palermo, where I spent a long, enjoyable time on land. I never stay too long on one ship; it makes you narrow-minded and biased. Plus, Sicily is one of my favorite places. I know everyone there, and their ways really suit me. I spent many fun weeks on the island, staying with friends in the countryside. When I started to feel restless again, I took the chance to hop on a ship that was trading to Sardinia and Corsica; I was really happy to feel the fresh breeze and the sea spray on my face once more."
"But isn't it very hot and stuffy, down in the—hold, I think you call it?" asked the Water Rat.
"But isn't it really hot and stuffy down in the—hold, I think that's what you call it?" asked the Water Rat.
The seafarer looked at him with the suspicion of a wink. "I'm an old hand," he remarked with much simplicity. "The captain's cabin's good enough for me."
The sailor gave him a wary glance. "I've been around the block," he said plainly. "The captain's cabin is just fine for me."
"It's a hard life, by all accounts," murmured the Rat, sunk in deep thought.
"It's a tough life, by all accounts," the Rat said quietly, lost in deep thought.
"For the crew it is," replied the seafarer gravely, again with the ghost of a wink.
"For the crew it is," replied the sailor seriously, again with a hint of a wink.
"From Corsica," he went on, "I made use of [Pg 240] a ship that was taking wine to the mainland. We made Alassio in the evening, lay to, hauled up our wine-casks, and hove them overboard, tied one to the other by a long line. Then the crew took to the boats and rowed shorewards, singing as they went, and drawing after them the long bobbing procession of casks, like a mile of porpoises. On the sands they had horses waiting, which dragged the casks up the steep street of the little town with a fine rush and clatter and scramble. When the last cask was in, we went and refreshed and rested, and sat late into the night, drinking with our friends, and next morning I took to the great olive-woods for a spell and a rest. For now I had done with islands for the time, and ports and shipping were plentiful; so I led a lazy life among the peasants, lying and watching them work, or stretched high on the hillside with the blue Mediterranean far below me. And so at length, by easy stages, and partly on foot, partly by sea, to Marseilles, and the meeting of old shipmates, and the visiting of great ocean-bound vessels, and feasting once more. Talk [Pg 241] of shell-fish! Why, sometimes I dream of the shell-fish of Marseilles, and wake up crying!"
"From Corsica," he continued, "I caught a ride on a ship that was taking wine to the mainland. We got to Alassio in the evening, dropped anchor, brought up our wine barrels, and tossed them overboard, tying them together with a long line. Then the crew climbed into the boats and rowed toward the shore, singing as they went, pulling along the long line of bobbing barrels, like a mile of porpoises. On the beach, they had horses waiting, which dragged the barrels up the steep street of the little town with a great rush and clatter. When the last barrel was in, we went to relax and unwind, sitting late into the night, drinking with our friends. The next morning, I headed to the great olive groves for some time to chill and rest. For now, I had finished with islands for a while, and there were plenty of ports and shipping; so I lived a laid-back life among the farmers, lying back and watching them work, or stretched out high on the hillside with the blue Mediterranean far below me. Eventually, by easy stages, partly on foot and partly by sea, I made my way to Marseilles, where I met up with old shipmates, visited huge ocean-bound vessels, and feasted once more. Talk about shellfish! Sometimes I dream about the shellfish of Marseilles and wake up crying!"

"That reminds me," said the polite Water Rat; "you happened to mention that you were hungry, and I ought to have spoken earlier. Of course, you will stop and take your mid-day meal with me? My hole is close by; it is some time past noon, and you are very welcome to whatever there is."
"That reminds me," said the polite Water Rat. "You mentioned that you were hungry, and I should have said something sooner. Of course, you'll stay and have lunch with me, right? My place is just around the corner; it's past noon, and you're more than welcome to whatever I have."
"Now I call that kind and brotherly of you," said the Sea Rat. "I was indeed hungry when I sat down, and ever since I inadvertently happened to mention shell-fish, my pangs have been extreme. But couldn't you fetch it along out here? I am none too fond of going under hatches, unless I'm obliged to; and then, while we eat, I could tell you more concerning my voyages and the pleasant life I lead—at least, it is very pleasant to me, and by your attention I judge it commends itself to you; whereas if we go indoors it is a hundred to one that I shall presently fall asleep."
"That's really kind and brotherly of you," said the Sea Rat. "I was really hungry when I sat down, and ever since I accidentally mentioned shellfish, my hunger has been intense. But couldn't you bring it out here? I'm not too keen on going below deck unless I have to, and while we're eating, I could tell you more about my travels and the enjoyable life I lead—at least, it's very enjoyable for me, and judging by your interest, I think you find it appealing too; but if we go inside, there's a good chance I'll just end up falling asleep."
"That is indeed an excellent suggestion," said the Water Rat, and hurried off home. There [Pg 242] he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger's origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes. Thus laden, he returned with all speed, and blushed for pleasure at the old seaman's commendations of his taste and judgment, as together they unpacked the basket and laid out the contents on the grass by the roadside.
"That's a great idea," said the Water Rat, and he quickly dashed home. There, he grabbed the lunch basket and packed a simple meal, making sure to include a foot-long piece of French bread, a sausage bursting with garlic flavor, some cheese that practically melted with emotion, and a long-necked flask that held sunshine collected from distant Southern slopes. With the basket full, he hurried back and felt a rush of happiness at the old seaman's compliments about his taste and judgment as they unpacked the basket and spread the food out on the grass by the roadside.
The Sea Rat, as soon as his hunger was somewhat assuaged, continued the history of his latest voyage, conducting his simple hearer from port to port of Spain, landing him at Lisbon, Oporto, and Bordeaux, introducing him to the pleasant harbours of Cornwall and Devon, and so up the Channel to that final quayside, where, landing after winds long contrary, storm-driven and weather-beaten, he had caught the first magical hints and heraldings of another Spring, and, fired by these, had sped on a long tramp [Pg 243] inland, hungry for the experiment of life on some quiet farmstead, very far from the weary beating of any sea.
The Sea Rat, once his hunger was a bit satisfied, continued sharing the story of his most recent voyage, taking his listener from one port to another in Spain, landing in Lisbon, Oporto, and Bordeaux, showing him the beautiful harbors of Cornwall and Devon, and then up the Channel to that final dock, where, after battling contrary winds and storms, he had caught the first magical signs of another Spring. Inspired by these hints, he had set off on a long walk inland, eager to experience life on some peaceful farm far away from the relentless pounding of the sea. [Pg 243]
Spellbound and quivering with excitement, the Water Rat followed the Adventurer league by league, over stormy bays, through crowded roadsteads, across harbour bars on a racing tide, up winding rivers that hid their busy little towns round a sudden turn; and left him with a regretful sigh planted at his dull inland farm, about which he desired to hear nothing.
Spellbound and filled with excitement, the Water Rat followed the Adventurer from one league to another, over choppy bays, through busy roadsteads, across harbor bars on a swift tide, up meandering rivers that concealed their bustling little towns just around the bend; and he was left with a longing sigh at his unexciting farm inland, which he wanted to hear nothing about.
By this time their meal was over, and the Seafarer, refreshed and strengthened, his voice more vibrant, his eye lit with a brightness that seemed caught from some far-away sea-beacon, filled his glass with the red and glowing vintage of the South, and, leaning towards the Water Rat, compelled his gaze and held him, body and soul, while he talked. Those eyes were of the changing foam-streaked grey-green of leaping Northern seas; in the glass shone a hot ruby that seemed the very heart of the South, beating for him who had courage to respond to its pulsation. The twin lights, the shifting grey [Pg 244] and the steadfast red, mastered the Water Rat and held him bound, fascinated, powerless. The quiet world outside their rays receded far away and ceased to be. And the talk, the wonderful talk flowed on—or was it speech entirely, or did it pass at times into song—chanty of the sailors weighing the dripping anchor, sonorous hum of the shrouds in a tearing North-Easter, ballad of the fisherman hauling his nets at sundown against an apricot sky, chords of guitar and mandoline from gondola or caique? Did it change into the cry of the wind, plaintive at first, angrily shrill as it freshened, rising to a tearing whistle, sinking to a musical trickle of air from the leech of the bellying sail? All these sounds the spellbound listener seemed to hear, and with them the hungry complaint of the gulls and the sea-mews, the soft thunder of the breaking wave, the cry of the protesting shingle. Back into speech again it passed, and with beating heart he was following the adventures of a dozen seaports, the fights, the escapes, the rallies, the comradeships, the gallant [Pg 245] undertakings; or he searched islands for treasure, fished in still lagoons and dozed day-long on warm white sand. Of deep-sea fishings he heard tell, and mighty silver gatherings of the mile-long net; of sudden perils, noise of breakers on a moonless night, or the tall bows of the great liner taking shape overhead through the fog; of the merry home-coming, the headland rounded, the harbour lights opened out; the groups seen dimly on the quay, the cheery hail, the splash of the hawser; the trudge up the steep little street towards the comforting glow of red-curtained windows.
By this time, their meal was done, and the Seafarer, feeling refreshed and stronger, his voice more lively and his eyes shining with a brightness that seemed to come from some distant lighthouse, filled his glass with a rich, red wine from the South. Leaning towards the Water Rat, he captured his attention completely while he spoke. Those eyes mirrored the changing, foam-streaked grey-green of wild Northern seas; in the glass sparkled a hot ruby that seemed to embody the very essence of the South, pulsing for anyone brave enough to embrace its rhythm. The two lights—the shifting grey and the steadfast red—held the Water Rat entranced, spellbound, and powerless. The calm world outside their glow faded far away and vanished. The conversation, the amazing conversation, flowed on—or was it just talking, or did it sometimes turn into song—a sailor's chant about raising the dripping anchor, the resonant hum of the rigging in a fierce North-Easter, a fisherman’s ballad hauling his nets at sundown against an apricot sky, chords from a guitar or mandolin coming from a gondola or caique? Did it shift into the call of the wind, starting out mournful, turning sharply shrill as it picked up speed, rising to a piercing whistle, then fading to a musical whisper of air from the sail's leech? All these sounds seemed to reach the captivated listener, along with the hungry cries of gulls and sea-mews, the soft roar of breaking waves, the sound of the protesting shingle. It flowed back into speech, and with a racing heart, he followed the adventures in a dozen seaports, the battles, the narrow escapes, the gatherings, the friendships, the daring endeavors; or he explored islands for treasure, fished in calm lagoons, and dozed all day on warm white sand. He heard tales of deep-sea fishing and enormous silver catches from a mile-long net; of sudden dangers, the sound of waves crashing on a moonless night, or the towering bow of a great liner looming above in the fog; of joyful homecomings, rounding the headland, the harbor lights coming into view; the groups dimly seen on the dock, the cheerful greetings, the splash of the rope; the walk up the steep little street towards the comforting glow of red-curtained windows.
Lastly, in his waking dream it seemed to him that the Adventurer had risen to his feet, but was still speaking, still holding him fast with his sea-grey eyes.
Lastly, in his waking dream, it felt like the Adventurer had gotten to his feet but was still talking, still gripping him with his sea-grey eyes.
"And now," he was softly saying, "I take to the road again, holding on southwestwards for many a long and dusty day; till at last I reach the little grey sea town I know so well, that clings along one steep side of the harbour. There through dark doorways you look down flights of stone steps, overhung by great pink tufts of valerian and ending in a patch of [Pg 246] sparkling blue water. The little boats that lie tethered to the rings and stanchions of the old sea-wall are gaily painted as those I clambered in and out of in my own childhood; the salmon leap on the flood tide, schools of mackerel flash and play past quay-sides and foreshores, and by the windows the great vessels glide, night and day, up to their moorings or forth to the open sea. There, sooner or later, the ships of all seafaring nations arrive; and there, at its destined hour, the ship of my choice will let go its anchor. I shall take my time, I shall tarry and bide, till at last the right one lies waiting for me, warped out into mid-stream, loaded low, her bowsprit pointing down harbour. I shall slip on board, by boat or along hawser; and then one morning I shall wake to the song and tramp of the sailors, the clink of the capstan, and the rattle of the anchor-chain coming merrily in. We shall break out the jib and the foresail, the white houses on the harbour side will glide slowly past us as she gathers steering-way, and the voyage will have begun! As she [Pg 247] forges towards the headland she will clothe herself with canvas; and then, once outside, the sounding slap of great green seas as she heels to the wind, pointing South!
"And now," he was softly saying, "I’m hitting the road again, heading southwest for many long and dusty days; until finally I reach the little gray seaside town I know so well, clinging to one steep side of the harbor. There, through dark doorways, you can look down flights of stone steps, shaded by big pink tufts of valerian, ending in a patch of sparkling blue water. The little boats tied to the rings and stanchions of the old seawall are as brightly painted as those I used to climb in and out of during my childhood; the salmon leap on the flood tide, schools of mackerel flash and play past the quays and foreshores, and by the windows, the large vessels glide, day and night, to their moorings or out to the open sea. There, sooner or later, the ships from all seafaring nations arrive; and there, at its destined hour, the ship I choose will let go of its anchor. I’ll take my time, I’ll linger, until the right one lies waiting for me, pulled out into mid-stream, loaded low, its bowsprit pointing down the harbor. I’ll board, by boat or along the hawser; and then one morning I’ll wake to the songs and footsteps of the sailors, the clink of the capstan, and the cheerful rattle of the anchor chain coming in. We’ll unfurl the jib and the foresail, the white houses on the harbor side will slowly glide past as she picks up speed, and the voyage will have begun! As she heads toward the headland, she’ll be covered in canvas; and then, once outside, the sound of the big green seas will greet us as she tilts to the wind, heading South!"
"And you, you will come too, young brother; for the days pass, and never return, and the South still waits for you. Take the adventure, heed the call, now ere the irrevocable moment passes! 'Tis but a banging of the door behind you, a blithesome step forward, and you are out of the old life and into the new! Then some day, some day long hence, jog home here if you will, when the cup has been drained and the play has been played, and sit down by your quiet river with a store of goodly memories for company. You can easily overtake me on the road, for you are young, and I am ageing and go softly. I will linger, and look back; and at last I will surely see you coming, eager and light-hearted, with all the South in your face!"
"And you, you will come too, young brother; for the days go by and never come back, and the South is still waiting for you. Embrace the adventure, answer the call, now before the moment slips away! It’s just a slam of the door behind you, a cheerful step forward, and you’re out of the old life and into the new! Then someday, someday far in the future, come back here if you want, when the cup has been emptied and the play has been performed, and sit by your peaceful river with a treasure of good memories for company. You can easily catch up to me on the journey, because you are young, and I am getting older and moving slowly. I will stay behind and look back; and eventually, I will surely see you approaching, eager and cheerful, with the spirit of the South on your face!"
The voice died away and ceased as an insect's tiny trumpet dwindles swiftly into silence; and the Water Rat, paralysed and staring, saw at last but a distant speck on the white surface of the road. [Pg 248]
The voice faded out and stopped like a little bug's horn that quickly goes silent; and the Water Rat, frozen and wide-eyed, finally saw just a tiny dot on the bright surface of the road. [Pg 248]
Mechanically he rose and proceeded to repack the luncheon-basket, carefully and without haste. Mechanically he returned home, gathered together a few small necessaries and special treasures he was fond of, and put them in a satchel; acting with slow deliberation, moving about the room like a sleep-walker; listening ever with parted lips. He swung the satchel over his shoulder, carefully selected a stout stick for his wayfaring, and with no haste, but with no hesitation at all, he stepped across the threshold just as the Mole appeared at the door.
He got up and went about repacking the lunch basket, doing it carefully and without rushing. He went home, gathered a few essentials and special items he liked, and put them in a bag, moving slowly around the room like a sleepwalker, listening intently. He slung the bag over his shoulder, picked out a sturdy stick for his journey, and stepped outside calmly, without any hesitation, just as the Mole showed up at the door.
"Why, where are you off to, Ratty?" asked the Mole in great surprise, grasping him by the arm.
"Hey, where are you heading to, Ratty?" asked the Mole in shock, grabbing him by the arm.
"Going South, with the rest of them," murmured the Rat in a dreamy monotone, never looking at him. "Seawards first and then on shipboard, and so to the shores that are calling me!"
"Going south, with the others," the Rat murmured in a dreamy tone, not looking at him. "First to the sea and then on board a ship, and from there to the shores that are calling me!"
He pressed resolutely forward, still without haste, but with dogged fixity of purpose; but the Mole, now thoroughly alarmed, placed himself in front of him, and looking into his eyes [Pg 249] saw that they were glazed and set and turned a streaked and shifting grey—not his friend's eyes, but the eyes of some other animal! Grappling with him strongly he dragged him inside, threw him down, and held him.
He moved forward with determination, still calm but with a stubborn sense of purpose; however, the Mole, now fully alarmed, positioned himself in front of him, and looking into his eyes saw that they were glazed and fixed, shifting to a streaky grey—not the eyes of his friend, but the eyes of a different creature! Gripping him tightly, he pulled him inside, threw him down, and held him.
The Rat struggled desperately for a few moments, and then his strength seemed suddenly to leave him, and he lay still and exhausted, with closed eyes, trembling. Presently the Mole assisted him to rise and placed him in a chair, where he sat collapsed and shrunken into himself, his body shaken by a violent shivering, passing in time into an hysterical fit of dry sobbing. Mole made the door fast, threw the satchel into a drawer and locked it, and sat down quietly on the table by his friend, waiting for the strange seizure to pass. Gradually the Rat sank into a troubled doze, broken by starts and confused murmurings of things strange and wild and foreign to the unenlightened Mole; and from that he passed into a deep slumber.
The Rat struggled hard for a few moments, and then his strength seemed to suddenly leave him, and he lay still and exhausted, eyes closed, trembling. Eventually, the Mole helped him up and put him in a chair, where he sat collapsed and withdrawn, his body shaking with intense shivers that eventually turned into a fit of dry sobbing. The Mole secured the door, tossed the satchel into a drawer and locked it, then sat quietly on the table next to his friend, waiting for the strange episode to pass. Gradually, the Rat slipped into a troubled doze, punctuated by starts and confused mumblings about things strange, wild, and foreign to the unaware Mole; from there, he fell into a deep sleep.
Very anxious in mind, the Mole left him for a time and busied himself with household matters; and it was getting dark when he returned [Pg 250] to the parlour and found the Rat where he had left him, wide awake indeed, but listless, silent, and dejected. He took one hasty glance at his eyes; found them, to his great gratification, clear and dark and brown again as before; and then sat down and tried to cheer him up and help him to relate what had happened to him.
Very anxious, the Mole left him for a while and focused on household chores. It was getting dark when he returned [Pg 250] to the living room and found the Rat exactly where he had left him—wide awake but listless, silent, and downcast. He quickly glanced into his eyes and was pleased to see they were clear, dark, and brown like before. Then, he sat down and tried to uplift him and help him share what had happened.
Poor Ratty did his best, by degrees, to explain things; but how could he put into cold words what had mostly been suggestion? How recall, for another's benefit, the haunting sea voices that had sung to him, how reproduce at second-hand the magic of the Seafarer's hundred reminiscences? Even to himself, now the spell was broken and the glamour gone, he found it difficult to account for what had seemed, some hours ago, the inevitable and only thing. It is not surprising, then, that he failed to convey to the Mole any clear idea of what he had been through that day.
Poor Ratty did his best, slowly trying to explain things; but how could he put into plain words what had mostly been just suggestions? How could he describe, for someone else's sake, the enchanting sea voices that had sung to him, how could he reproduce the magic of the Seafarer's countless memories? Even to himself, now that the charm was broken and the allure was gone, he found it hard to explain what had seemed just a few hours ago to be the only possible thing. It's not surprising, then, that he couldn't clearly convey to the Mole what he had experienced that day.
To the Mole this much was plain: the fit, or attack, had passed away, and had left him sane again, though shaken and cast down by the [Pg 251] reaction. But he seemed to have lost all interest for the time in the things that went to make up his daily life, as well as in all pleasant forecastings of the altered days and doings that the changing season was surely bringing.
To the Mole, it was clear: the fit, or attack, had ended, and he was sane again, although shaken and downcast by the aftermath. But he seemed to have lost all interest for the moment in the things that made up his daily life, as well as in all the nice expectations of the changed days and activities that the shifting season was definitely bringing.
Casually, then, and with seeming indifference, the Mole turned his talk to the harvest that was being gathered in, the towering wagons and their straining teams, the growing ricks, and the large moon rising over bare acres dotted with sheaves. He talked of the reddening apples around, of the browning nuts, of jams and preserves and the distilling of cordials; till by easy stages such as these he reached midwinter, its hearty joys and its snug home life, and then he became simply lyrical.
Casually, with a relaxed attitude, the Mole shifted the conversation to the harvest being collected—the tall wagons and their hardworking teams, the growing stacks of hay, and the big moon rising over empty fields sprinkled with bundles. He mentioned the ripening apples nearby, the brown nuts, the jams and preserves, and the making of liqueurs; until gradually he arrived at midwinter, its warm joys and cozy home life, and then he became truly poetic.
By degrees the Rat began to sit up and to join in. His dull eye brightened, and he lost some of his listening air.
Gradually, the Rat started to sit up and participate. His dull eye lit up, and he seemed to lose some of his passive vibe.
Presently the tactful Mole slipped away and returned with a pencil and a few half-sheets of paper, which he placed on the table at his friend's elbow.
Right now, the clever Mole quietly left and came back with a pencil and a few half-sheets of paper, which he set on the table next to his friend's elbow.
"It's quite a long time since you did any poetry," he remarked. "You might have a try [Pg 252] at it this evening, instead of—well, brooding over things so much. I've an idea that you'll feel a lot better when you've got something jotted down—if it's only just the rhymes."
"It's been a while since you wrote any poetry," he said. "You should give it a shot this evening instead of—well, dwelling on things too much. I think you'll feel much better once you've written something down—even if it's just the rhymes."
The Rat pushed the paper away from him wearily, but the discreet Mole took occasion to leave the room, and when he peeped in again some time later, the Rat was absorbed and deaf to the world; alternately scribbling and sucking the top of his pencil. It is true that he sucked a good deal more than he scribbled; but it was joy to the Mole to know that the cure had at least begun. [Pg 253]
The Rat pushed the paper away from him tiredly, but the quiet Mole took the opportunity to leave the room. When he peeked back in a little later, the Rat was completely absorbed and oblivious to everything around him, alternately scribbling and chewing on the end of his pencil. It’s true that he chewed on it a lot more than he wrote, but it brought the Mole joy to know that the healing had at least started. [Pg 253]
THE front door of the hollow tree faced eastwards, so Toad was called at an early hour; partly by the bright sunlight streaming in on him, partly by the exceeding coldness of his toes, which made him dream that he was at home in bed in his own handsome room with the Tudor window, on a cold winter's night, and his bed-clothes had got up, grumbling and protesting they couldn't stand the cold any longer, and had run downstairs to the kitchen fire to warm themselves; and he had followed, on bare feet, along miles and miles of icy stone-paved passages, arguing and beseeching them to be reasonable. He would probably have been aroused much earlier, had he not slept for some weeks on straw over stone flags, and [Pg 256] almost forgotten the friendly feeling of thick blankets pulled well up round the chin.
The front door of the hollow tree faced east, so Toad was woken up early; partly by the bright sunlight streaming in, and partly by the freezing cold on his toes, which made him imagine he was home in bed in his cozy room with the Tudor window, on a cold winter night, where his bedclothes had gotten fed up, grumbling and saying they couldn't take the cold anymore, and had run downstairs to the kitchen fire to warm up; and he had followed them, barefoot, along long stretches of icy stone-paved hallways, arguing and pleading with them to be reasonable. He probably would have been awakened much earlier if he hadn’t slept for weeks on straw over stone flags, almost forgetting the cozy feeling of thick blankets pulled up around his chin.
Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes first and his complaining toes next, wondered for a moment where he was, looking round for familiar stone wall and little barred window; then, with a leap of the heart, remembered everything—his escape, his flight, his pursuit; remembered, first and best thing of all, that he was free!
Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes first and then his sore toes, briefly wondering where he was as he looked around for a familiar stone wall and small barred window; then, with a surge of excitement, he remembered everything—his escape, his flight, his pursuit; remembered, above all, that he was free!
Free! The word and the thought alone were worth fifty blankets. He was warm from end to end as he thought of the jolly world outside, waiting eagerly for him to make his triumphal entrance, ready to serve him and play up to him, anxious to help him and to keep him company, as it always had been in days of old before misfortune fell upon him. He shook himself and combed the dry leaves out of his hair with his fingers; and, his toilet complete, marched forth into the comfortable morning sun, cold but confident, hungry but hopeful, all nervous terrors of yesterday dispelled by rest and sleep and frank and heartening sunshine.
Free! Just the word and the thought were worth fifty blankets. He felt warm all over as he imagined the cheerful world outside, eagerly waiting for him to make his grand entrance, ready to support him and cheer him on, excited to help him and keep him company, just like it always had been in the old days before bad luck struck him. He shook himself and combed the dry leaves out of his hair with his fingers; and with his grooming done, he stepped out into the pleasant morning sun, cold but confident, hungry but hopeful, all the anxieties of yesterday wiped away by rest and sleep and bright, uplifting sunshine.
He had the world all to himself, that early [Pg 257] summer morning. The dewy woodland, as he threaded it, was solitary and still: the green fields that succeeded the trees were his own to do as he liked with; the road itself, when he reached it, in that loneliness that was everywhere, seemed, like a stray dog, to be looking anxiously for company. Toad, however, was looking for something that could talk, and tell him clearly which way he ought to go. It is all very well, when you have a light heart, and a clear conscience, and money in your pocket, and nobody scouring the country for you to drag you off to prison again, to follow where the road beckons and points, not caring whither. The practical Toad cared very much indeed, and he could have kicked the road for its helpless silence when every minute was of importance to him.
He had the whole world to himself that early summer morning. The dewy woods he walked through were quiet and empty: the green fields that followed the trees were his to explore as he pleased; the road itself, when he arrived at it, seemed, like a lost dog, to be anxiously searching for some company in that loneliness that surrounded him. Toad, however, was looking for something that could talk and guide him clearly on which way to go. It's all fine and good when you have a light heart, a clear conscience, money in your pocket, and no one chasing you down to drag you back to prison, to follow where the road leads without any care. But practical Toad cared a lot, and he felt like kicking the road for its useless silence when every moment was crucial for him.
The reserved rustic road was presently joined by a shy little brother in the shape of a canal, which took its hand and ambled along by its side in perfect confidence, but with the same tongue-tied, uncommunicative attitude towards [Pg 258] strangers. "Bother them!" said Toad to himself. "But, anyhow, one thing's clear. They must both be coming from somewhere, and going to somewhere. You can't get over that, Toad, my boy!" So he marched on patiently by the water's edge.
The quiet country road was now accompanied by a timid little brother in the form of a canal, which took its hand and wandered along beside it with complete confidence, but shared the same shy, silent attitude towards strangers. "Forget them!" Toad muttered to himself. "But one thing's for sure. They both must be coming from somewhere and going to somewhere. You can’t get around that, Toad, my boy!" So he continued on patiently by the water's edge.
Round a bend in the canal came plodding a solitary horse, stooping forward as if in anxious thought. From rope traces attached to his collar stretched a long line, taut, but dipping with his stride, the further part of it dripping pearly drops. Toad let the horse pass, and stood waiting for what the fates were sending him.
Round a bend in the canal came a lone horse, trudging along and leaning forward as if lost in thought. A long line from the rope traces attached to its collar was stretched tight, dipping with each stride, the end of it dripping with shiny drops. Toad let the horse pass and stood there, waiting for whatever fate had in store for him.
With a pleasant swirl of quiet water at its blunt bow the barge slid up alongside of him, its gaily painted gunwale level with the towing-path, its sole occupant a big stout woman wearing a linen sun-bonnet, one brawny arm laid along the tiller.
With a soft swirl of calm water at its blunt front, the barge slid up next to him, its brightly painted edge even with the towpath, and its only passenger was a large, sturdy woman wearing a linen sunbonnet, one strong arm resting on the tiller.
"A nice morning, ma'am!" she remarked to Toad, as she drew up level with him.
"A lovely morning, ma'am!" she said to Toad as she reached his side.
"I dare say it is, ma'am!" responded Toad politely, as he walked along the tow-path abreast of her. "I dare say it is a nice morning to them that's not in sore trouble, like what I [Pg 259] am. Here's my married daughter, she sends off to me post-haste to come to her at once; so off I comes, not knowing what may be happening or going to happen, but fearing the worst, as you will understand, ma'am, if you're a mother, too. And I've left my business to look after itself—I'm in the washing and laundering line, you must know, ma'am—and I've left my young children to look after themselves, and a more mischievous and troublesome set of young imps doesn't exist, ma'am; and I've lost all my money, and lost my way, and as for what may be happening to my married daughter, why, I don't like to think of it, ma'am!"
"I bet it is, ma'am!" replied Toad politely as he walked along the pathway next to her. "I bet it's a nice morning for those who aren't in serious trouble, like I am. My married daughter sent for me urgently to come see her immediately; so here I am, not knowing what might be happening or going to happen, but fearing the worst, as you would understand, ma'am, if you’re a mother too. I've left my business to take care of itself—I work in washing and laundry, just so you know, ma'am—and I’ve left my young kids to fend for themselves, and they’re a more mischievous and troublesome bunch than you could imagine, ma'am; I’ve lost all my money, lost my way, and as for what might be going on with my married daughter, well, I really don't want to think about it, ma'am!"
"Where might your married daughter be living, ma'am?" asked the barge-woman.
"Where could your married daughter be living, ma'am?" asked the barge-woman.
"She lives near to the river, ma'am," replied Toad. "Close to a fine house called Toad Hall, that's somewheres hereabouts in these parts. Perhaps you may have heard of it."
"She lives by the river, ma'am," Toad replied. "Close to a nice place called Toad Hall, which is around here somewhere. Maybe you've heard of it."
"Toad Hall? Why, I'm going that way myself," replied the barge-woman. "This canal joins the river some miles further on, a little above Toad Hall; and then it's an easy walk. [Pg 260] You come along in the barge with me, and I'll give you a lift."
"Toad Hall? Oh, I'm headed that way too," replied the barge-woman. "This canal connects to the river a few miles up, just above Toad Hall; then it's an easy walk. You can ride with me in the barge, and I'll give you a lift."
She steered the barge close to the bank, and Toad, with many humble and grateful acknowledgments, stepped lightly on board and sat down with great satisfaction. "Toad's luck again!" thought he. "I always come out on top!"
She guided the barge close to the shore, and Toad, with many humble and grateful thanks, stepped lightly on board and sat down with great satisfaction. "Toad's luck again!" he thought. "I always come out on top!"
"So you're in the washing business, ma'am?" said the barge-woman politely, as they glided along. "And a very good business you've got too, I dare say, if I'm not making too free in saying so."
"So you're in the laundry business, ma'am?" said the barge-woman politely as they floated along. "And you have a really good business, I must say, if I'm not being too forward in mentioning it."
"Finest business in the whole country," said Toad airily. "All the gentry come to me—wouldn't go to any one else if they were paid, they know me so well. You see, I understand my work thoroughly, and attend to it all myself. Washing, ironing, clear-starching, making up gents' fine shirts for evening wear—everything's done under my own eye!"
"Best business in the whole country," Toad said casually. "All the upper class comes to me—wouldn't go to anyone else even if they were paid, they know me so well. You see, I really understand my work and take care of everything myself. Washing, ironing, clear-starching, making guys' fine shirts for evening wear—everything's done with my personal supervision!"
"But surely you don't do all that work yourself, ma'am?" asked the barge-woman respectfully. [Pg 261]
"But surely you don't do all that work yourself, ma'am?" asked the barge-woman respectfully. [Pg 261]
"O, I have girls," said Toad lightly: "twenty girls or thereabouts, always at work. But you know what girls are, ma'am! Nasty little hussies, that's what I call 'em!"
"O, I have girls," said Toad casually. "About twenty girls, always busy. But you know what girls are like, ma'am! Just nasty little hussies, that's what I call them!"
"So do I, too," said the barge-woman with great heartiness. "But I dare say you set yours to rights, the idle trollops! And are you very fond of washing?"
"So do I," said the barge-woman enthusiastically. "But I bet you keep yours in order, those lazy girls! And are you really into washing?"
"I love it," said Toad. "I simply dote on it. Never so happy as when I've got both arms in the wash-tub. But, then, it comes so easy to me! No trouble at all! A real pleasure, I assure you, ma'am!"
"I love it," said Toad. "I'm totally obsessed with it. I'm never happier than when I've got both arms in the wash tub. But then again, it comes so naturally to me! No effort at all! It's a real joy, I promise you, ma'am!"
"What a bit of luck, meeting you!" observed the barge-woman, thoughtfully. "A regular piece of good fortune for both of us!"
"What a stroke of luck, running into you!" said the barge-woman, thoughtfully. "Just perfect timing for both of us!"
"Why, what do you mean?" asked Toad, nervously.
"Wait, what do you mean?" asked Toad, nervously.
"Well, look at me, now," replied the barge-woman. "I like washing, too, just the same as you do; and for that matter, whether I like it or not I have got to do all my own, naturally, moving about as I do. Now my husband, he's such a fellow for shirking his work and leaving [Pg 262] the barge to me, that never a moment do I get for seeing to my own affairs. By rights he ought to be here now, either steering or attending to the horse, though luckily the horse has sense enough to attend to himself. Instead of which, he's gone off with the dog, to see if they can't pick up a rabbit for dinner somewhere. Says he'll catch me up at the next lock. Well, that's as may be—I don't trust him, once he gets off with that dog, who's worse than he is. But meantime, how am I to get on with my washing?"
"Well, look at me now," replied the barge woman. "I like washing too, just like you do; and whether I enjoy it or not, I have to do all my own, especially since I'm always on the move. My husband, though, is the type who likes to avoid his work and leave the barge duties to me, which means I never get a moment to take care of my own things. He should be here now, either steering or taking care of the horse, but luckily the horse can manage on its own. Instead, he's wandered off with the dog to see if they can find a rabbit for dinner. He says he'll catch up with me at the next lock. Well, that may be— I don't trust him, especially once he’s off with that dog, who’s even worse than he is. But in the meantime, how am I supposed to get on with my washing?"
"O, never mind about the washing," said Toad, not liking the subject. "Try and fix your mind on that rabbit. A nice fat young rabbit, I'll be bound. Got any onions?"
"Oh, forget the washing," said Toad, not wanting to talk about it. "Focus on that rabbit. A nice, plump young rabbit, I bet. Do you have any onions?"
"I can't fix my mind on anything but my washing," said the barge-woman, "and I wonder you can be talking of rabbits, with such a joyful prospect before you. There's a heap of things of mine that you'll find in a corner of the cabin. If you'll just take one or two of the most necessary sort—I won't venture to describe them to a lady like you, but you'll recognise [Pg 263] them at a glance—and put them through the wash-tub as we go along, why, it'll be a pleasure to you, as you rightly say, and a real help to me. You'll find a tub handy, and soap, and a kettle on the stove, and a bucket to haul up water from the canal with. Then I shall know you're enjoying yourself, instead of sitting here idle, looking at the scenery and yawning your head off."
"I can't focus on anything but my laundry," said the barge-woman, "and I can't believe you're talking about rabbits with such a great opportunity ahead of you. There are lots of my things that you'll find in a corner of the cabin. If you could just grab one or two of the essentials—I won't attempt to describe them to someone like you, but you’ll recognize them right away—and put them through the wash as we go along, it'll be enjoyable for you, just like you said, and a real help for me. You'll find a tub nearby, along with soap, a kettle on the stove, and a bucket to fetch water from the canal. Then I’ll know you're having a good time instead of just sitting here doing nothing, staring at the scenery and yawning your head off."
"Here, you let me steer!" said Toad, now thoroughly frightened, "and then you can get on with your washing your own way. I might spoil your things, or not do 'em as you like. I'm more used to gentleman's things myself. It's my special line."
"Here, you let me drive!" said Toad, now completely scared, "and then you can continue with your washing however you want. I might mess up your stuff, or not do it how you like. I'm more used to handling gentlemen's things myself. That's my specialty."
"Let you steer?" replied the barge-woman, laughing. "It takes some practice to steer a barge properly. Besides, it's dull work, and I want you to be happy. No, you shall do the washing you are so fond of, and I'll stick to the steering that I understand. Don't try and deprive me of the pleasure of giving you a treat!"
"Let you steer?" replied the barge-woman, laughing. "It takes some practice to steer a barge properly. Plus, it's boring work, and I want you to be happy. No, you should stick to the washing you enjoy, and I'll handle the steering that I know. Don't try to take away my pleasure in giving you a treat!"
Toad was fairly cornered. He looked for [Pg 264] escape this way and that, saw that he was too far from the bank for a flying leap, and sullenly resigned himself to his fate. "If it comes to that," he thought in desperation, "I suppose any fool can wash!"
Toad was pretty much stuck. He searched for a way out, looked this way and that, realized he was too far from the bank to jump, and grudgingly accepted his fate. "If it comes down to it," he thought in despair, "I guess any idiot can wash!"
He fetched tub, soap, and other necessaries from the cabin, selected a few garments at random, tried to recollect what he had seen in casual glances through laundry windows, and set to.
He grabbed a tub, soap, and other essentials from the cabin, picked a few clothes at random, tried to remember what he had noticed in passing through laundry windows, and got started.
A long half-hour passed, and every minute of it saw Toad getting crosser and crosser. Nothing that he could do to the things seemed to please them or do them good. He tried coaxing, he tried slapping, he tried punching; they smiled back at him out of the tub unconverted, happy in their original sin. Once or twice he looked nervously over his shoulder at the barge-woman, but she appeared to be gazing out in front of her, absorbed in her steering. His back ached badly, and he noticed with dismay that his paws were beginning to get all crinkly. Now Toad was very proud of his paws. He muttered under his breath words that should never pass [Pg 265] the lips of either washerwomen or Toads; and lost the soap, for the fiftieth time.
A long half-hour went by, and with every minute, Toad got more and more frustrated. Nothing he did to the dishes seemed to make them happy or improve the situation. He tried sweet-talking them, he tried slapping them, he tried punching them; they just smiled back at him from the tub, unbothered and content in their mess. A couple of times, he nervously glanced over at the barge-woman, but she seemed focused on her steering, looking ahead. His back hurt a lot, and he noticed with dismay that his paws were starting to get all wrinkly. Toad was very proud of his paws. He muttered to himself words that should never be spoken by either washerwomen or Toads; and he lost the soap for the fiftieth time.
A burst of laughter made him straighten himself and look round. The barge-woman was leaning back and laughing unrestrainedly, till the tears ran down her cheeks.
A burst of laughter made him sit up straight and look around. The barge-woman was leaning back, laughing freely until tears streamed down her cheeks.
"I've been watching you all the time," she gasped. "I thought you must be a humbug all along, from the conceited way you talked. Pretty washerwoman you are! Never washed so much as a dish-clout in your life, I'll lay!"
"I've been watching you the whole time," she gasped. "I thought you must be a fraud all along, because of the way you talked so confidently. You think you're such a great washerwoman! You've probably never washed even a dishcloth in your life, I bet!"
Toad's temper, which had been simmering viciously for some time, now fairly boiled over, and he lost all control of himself.
Toad's anger, which had been brewing intensely for a while, now completely erupted, and he lost all self-control.
"You common, low, fat barge-woman!" he shouted; "don't you dare to talk to your betters like that! Washerwoman indeed! I would have you to know that I am a Toad, a very well-known, respected, distinguished Toad! I may be under a bit of a cloud at present, but I will not be laughed at by a barge-woman!"
"You common, low, fat barge-woman!" he shouted. "Don't you dare talk to your betters like that! Washerwoman, really! I want you to know that I am a Toad, a very well-known, respected, distinguished Toad! I might be going through a rough patch right now, but I will not be laughed at by a barge-woman!"
The woman moved nearer to him and peered under his bonnet keenly and closely. "Why, so you are!" she cried. "Well, I never! A [Pg 266] horrid, nasty, crawly Toad! And in my nice clean barge, too! Now that is a thing that I will not have."
The woman stepped closer to him and looked under his hat carefully. "Wow, it really is you!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe it! A gross, nasty, creepy Toad! And in my nice, clean boat, too! That’s something I definitely will not tolerate."
She relinquished the tiller for a moment. One big, mottled arm shot out and caught Toad by a fore-leg, while the other gripped him fast by a hind-leg. Then the world turned suddenly upside down, the barge seemed to flit lightly across the sky, the wind whistled in his ears, and Toad found himself flying through the air, revolving rapidly as he went.
She let go of the steering for a moment. One big, spotted arm reached out and grabbed Toad by a front leg, while the other held him tightly by a back leg. Then the world flipped upside down, the barge seemed to glide effortlessly through the sky, the wind whistled in his ears, and Toad found himself soaring through the air, spinning rapidly as he went.
The water, when he eventually reached it with a loud splash, proved quite cold enough for his taste, though its chill was not sufficient to quell his proud spirit, or slake the heat of his furious temper. He rose to the surface spluttering, and when he had wiped the duck-weed out of his eyes the first thing he saw was the fat barge-woman looking back at him over the stern of the retreating barge and laughing; and he vowed, as he coughed and choked, to be even with her.
The water, when he finally hit it with a loud splash, was colder than he liked, but its chill didn’t dampen his proud spirit or cool his angry temper. He came to the surface sputtering, and as he wiped the duckweed out of his eyes, the first thing he noticed was the heavyset barge-woman laughing at him from the back of the moving barge; and he promised, while coughing and gasping, that he would get back at her.
He struck out for the shore, but the cotton gown greatly impeded his efforts, and when at [Pg 267] length he touched land he found it hard to climb up the steep bank unassisted. He had to take a minute or two's rest to recover his breath; then, gathering his wet skirts well over his arms, he started to run after the barge as fast as his legs would carry him, wild with indignation, thirsting for revenge.
He made a break for the shore, but the cotton dress really slowed him down, and when he finally got to land, he struggled to climb up the steep bank without help. He needed a minute or two to catch his breath; then, pulling his wet dress up over his arms, he took off running after the barge as fast as he could, filled with rage and eager for revenge.
The barge-woman was still laughing when he drew up level with her. "Put yourself through your mangle, washerwoman," she called out, "and iron your face and crimp it, and you'll pass for quite a decent-looking Toad!"
The barge woman was still laughing when he reached her level. "Run yourself through the mangle, washerwoman," she shouted, "and iron your face and curl it, and you’ll look like a decent Toad!"
Toad never paused to reply. Solid revenge was what he wanted, not cheap, windy, verbal triumphs, though he had a thing or two in his mind that he would have liked to say. He saw what he wanted ahead of him. Running swiftly on he overtook the horse, unfastened the tow-rope and cast off, jumped lightly on the horse's back, and urged it to a gallop by kicking it vigorously in the sides. He steered for the open country, abandoning the tow-path, and swinging his steed down a rutty lane. Once he looked back, and saw that the barge had run [Pg 268] aground on the other side of the canal, and the barge-woman was gesticulating wildly and shouting, "Stop, stop, stop!" "I've heard that song before," said Toad, laughing, as he continued to spur his steed onward in its wild career.
Toad didn't stop to respond. He wanted real revenge, not empty, showy victories, even though he had a few things he wanted to say. He saw what he desired up ahead. He ran fast, overtook the horse, unfastened the tow-rope, jumped onto the horse's back, and urged it to a gallop by kicking it hard in the sides. He aimed for the open land, leaving the tow-path, and took his horse down a bumpy lane. He glanced back once and saw that the barge had gotten stuck on the other side of the canal, and the barge-woman was frantically waving her arms and yelling, "Stop, stop, stop!" "I've heard that before," Toad said, laughing, as he kept kicking his horse to keep going faster.
The barge-horse was not capable of any very sustained effort, and its gallop soon subsided into a trot, and its trot into an easy walk; but Toad was quite contented with this, knowing that he, at any rate, was moving, and the barge was not. He had quite recovered his temper, now that he had done something he thought really clever; and he was satisfied to jog along quietly in the sun, steering his horse along by-ways and bridle-paths, and trying to forget how very long it was since he had had a square meal, till the canal had been left very far behind him.
The barge-horse couldn't really keep up much effort, and its gallop soon slowed to a trot, then to a relaxed walk; but Toad was perfectly happy with this, knowing that he was, at least, moving, and the barge was not. He had totally regained his good humor now that he felt he had done something truly clever; and he was pleased to stroll along peacefully in the sun, guiding his horse along back roads and bridle paths, trying to forget how long it had been since he last had a proper meal, until the canal was far behind him.
He had travelled some miles, his horse and he, and he was feeling drowsy in the hot sunshine, when the horse stopped, lowered his head, and began to nibble the grass; and Toad, waking up, just saved himself from falling off by an effort. He looked about him and found he was [Pg 269] on a wide common, dotted with patches of gorse and bramble as far as he could see. Near him stood a dingy gipsy caravan, and beside it a man was sitting on a bucket turned upside down, very busy smoking and staring into the wide world. A fire of sticks was burning near by, and over the fire hung an iron pot, and out of that pot came forth bubblings and gurglings, and a vague suggestive steaminess. Also smells—warm, rich, and varied smells—that twined and twisted and wreathed themselves at last into one complete, voluptuous, perfect smell that seemed like the very soul of Nature taking form and appearing to her children, a true Goddess, a mother of solace and comfort. Toad now knew well that he had not been really hungry before. What he had felt earlier in the day had been a mere trifling qualm. This was the real thing at last, and no mistake; and it would have to be dealt with speedily, too, or there would be trouble for somebody or something. He looked the gipsy over carefully, wondering vaguely whether it would be easier to fight him or cajole him. So there he sat, and [Pg 270] sniffed and sniffed, and looked at the gipsy; and the gipsy sat and smoked, and looked at him.
He had traveled some miles, along with his horse, and he was feeling sleepy in the hot sun when the horse stopped, lowered its head, and started to nibble on the grass. Toad, waking up, barely saved himself from falling off with a quick effort. He looked around and saw he was on a wide open area, dotted with patches of gorse and bramble as far as he could see. Nearby stood a run-down gypsy caravan, and beside it sat a man on an upside-down bucket, busy smoking and staring into the vast world. A fire of sticks was burning nearby, and hanging over the fire was an iron pot, from which came bubbling and gurgling sounds along with a vague, inviting steam. There were also smells—warm, rich, and varied—that twisted and turned, eventually merging into one complete, indulgent, perfect smell that seemed like the very essence of Nature materializing and appearing to her children, a true Goddess, a mother of warmth and comfort. Toad realized that he hadn't actually been hungry before. What he had felt earlier in the day was just a minor discomfort. This was the real deal at last, and there was no doubt about it; he needed to address it quickly, or there would be trouble for someone or something. He examined the gypsy carefully, wondering vaguely whether it would be easier to fight him or flatter him. So there he sat, sniffing and looking at the gypsy, while the gypsy sat, smoked, and looked back at him.
Presently the gipsy took his pipe out of his mouth and remarked in a careless way, "Want to sell that there horse of yours?"
Currently, the gypsy pulled his pipe out of his mouth and casually said, "You want to sell that horse of yours?"
Toad was completely taken aback. He did not know that gipsies were very fond of horse-dealing, and never missed an opportunity, and he had not reflected that caravans were always on the move and took a deal of drawing. It had not occurred to him to turn the horse into cash, but the gipsy's suggestion seemed to smooth the way towards the two things he wanted so badly—ready money, and a solid breakfast.
Toad was totally shocked. He didn’t realize that gypsies loved trading horses and never passed up a chance to do so. He hadn’t thought about how caravans were constantly in motion and required a lot of pulling. The idea of turning the horse into cash hadn’t crossed his mind, but the gypsy's suggestion seemed to make it easier to get the two things he really wanted—cash in hand and a hearty breakfast.
"What?" he said, "me sell this beautiful young horse of mine? O, no; it's out of the question. Who's going to take the washing home to my customers every week? Besides, I'm too fond of him, and he simply dotes on me."
"What?" he said, "me sell this beautiful young horse of mine? Oh, no; that's not happening. Who's going to take the laundry back to my customers every week? Plus, I'm too attached to him, and he really loves me."
"Try and love a donkey," suggested the gipsy. "Some people do." [Pg 271]
"Give a donkey a chance," suggested the gypsy. "Some people actually do." [Pg 271]
"You don't seem to see," continued Toad, "that this fine horse of mine is a cut above you altogether. He's a blood horse, he is, partly; not the part you see, of course—another part. And he's been a Prize Hackney, too, in his time—that was the time before you knew him, but you can still tell it on him at a glance, if you understand anything about horses. No, it's not to be thought of for a moment. All the same, how much might you be disposed to offer me for this beautiful young horse of mine?"
"You don't seem to realize," Toad continued, "that my amazing horse is way better than you. He's a thoroughbred, he is—partly; not the part you can see, of course—it's another part. And he's been a Prize Hackney before—that was before you knew him, but you can still see it at a glance if you know anything about horses. No, it's not even worth considering. That said, how much would you be willing to offer me for this stunning young horse of mine?"
The gipsy looked the horse over, and then he looked Toad over with equal care, and looked at the horse again. "Shillin' a leg," he said briefly, and turned away, continuing to smoke and try to stare the wide world out of countenance.
The gypsy checked out the horse, then gave Toad the same thorough once-over, before looking back at the horse. "Shillin' a leg," he said shortly and walked away, still smoking and trying to intimidate the world around him.
"A shilling a leg?" cried Toad. "If you please, I must take a little time to work that out, and see just what it comes to."
"A shilling a leg?" Toad exclaimed. "If you don’t mind, I need a moment to figure that out and see exactly how much that totals."
He climbed down off his horse, and left it to graze, and sat down by the gipsy, and did sums on his fingers, and at last he said, "A shilling a leg? Why, that comes to exactly four shillings, [Pg 272] and no more. O, no; I could not think of accepting four shillings for this beautiful young horse of mine."
He got off his horse, left it to graze, and sat down next to the gypsy. He did some calculations on his fingers and finally said, "A shilling per leg? That adds up to exactly four shillings, and not a penny more. Oh no; I couldn't possibly accept four shillings for this beautiful young horse of mine." [Pg 272]
"Well," said the gipsy, "I'll tell you what I will do. I'll make it five shillings, and that's three-and-sixpence more than the animal's worth. And that's my last word."
"Well," said the gypsy, "here's what I'll do. I'll make it five shillings, which is three and sixpence more than what the animal is worth. And that's my final offer."
Then Toad sat and pondered long and deeply. For he was hungry and quite penniless, and still some way—he knew not how far—from home, and enemies might still be looking for him. To one in such a situation, five shillings may very well appear a large sum of money. On the other hand, it did not seem very much to get for a horse. But then, again, the horse hadn't cost him anything; so whatever he got was all clear profit. At last he said firmly, "Look here, gipsy! I tell you what we will do; and this is my last word. You shall hand me over six shillings and sixpence, cash down; and further, in addition thereto, you shall give me as much breakfast as I can possibly eat, at one sitting of course, out of that iron pot of yours that keeps sending forth such [Pg 273] delicious and exciting smells. In return, I will make over to you my spirited young horse, with all the beautiful harness and trappings that are on him, freely thrown in. If that's not good enough for you, say so, and I'll be getting on. I know a man near here who's wanted this horse of mine for years."
Then Toad sat and thought for a long time. He was hungry and completely broke, still some distance—he didn’t know how far—from home, and enemies might still be searching for him. For someone in his situation, five shillings could seem like a lot of money. However, it didn’t seem like much for a horse. On the bright side, the horse hadn’t cost him anything, so anything he received would be pure profit. Finally, he said firmly, "Listen here, gypsy! Here’s what we’re going to do; and this is my final offer. You’re going to pay me six shillings and sixpence, cash upfront; and in addition, you’ll give me as much breakfast as I can possibly eat, all at once, of course, from that iron pot of yours that keeps sending out such delicious and tempting smells. In return, I’ll give you my spirited young horse, along with all the beautiful harness and gear that are on him, thrown in for free. If that’s not good enough for you, let me know, and I’ll be on my way. I know a guy around here who has wanted this horse of mine for years."
The gipsy grumbled frightfully, and declared if he did a few more deals of that sort he'd be ruined. But in the end he lugged a dirty canvas bag out of the depths of his trouser pocket, and counted out six shillings and sixpence into Toad's paw. Then he disappeared into the caravan for an instant, and returned with a large iron plate and a knife, fork, and spoon. He tilted up the pot, and a glorious stream of hot, rich stew gurgled into the plate. It was, indeed, the most beautiful stew in the world, being made of partridges, and pheasants, and chickens, and hares, and rabbits, and peahens, and guinea-fowls, and one or two other things. Toad took the plate on his lap, almost crying, and stuffed, and stuffed, and stuffed, and kept asking for more, and the gipsy never grudged [Pg 274] it him. He thought that he had never eaten so good a breakfast in all his life.
The gypsy grumbled loudly and said if he made a few more deals like that, he'd be broke. But in the end, he pulled a dirty canvas bag out of his trouser pocket and counted out six shillings and sixpence into Toad's hand. Then he went into the caravan for a moment and came back with a large iron plate and a knife, fork, and spoon. He tilted up the pot, and a glorious stream of hot, rich stew poured into the plate. It was, honestly, the most amazing stew in the world, made of partridges, pheasants, chickens, hares, rabbits, peahens, guinea fowls, and a few other things. Toad took the plate on his lap, nearly in tears, and stuffed himself, asking for more, and the gypsy never held back. He thought he had never eaten such a good breakfast in his entire life.
When Toad had taken as much stew on board as he thought he could possibly hold, he got up and said good-bye to the gipsy, and took an affectionate farewell of the horse; and the gipsy, who knew the riverside well, gave him directions which way to go, and he set forth on his travels again in the best possible spirits. He was, indeed, a very different Toad from the animal of an hour ago. The sun was shining brightly, his wet clothes were quite dry again, he had money in his pocket once more, he was nearing home and friends and safety, and, most and best of all, he had had a substantial meal, hot and nourishing, and felt big, and strong, and careless, and self-confident.
When Toad had eaten as much stew as he thought he could handle, he got up and said goodbye to the gypsy, giving the horse an affectionate farewell. The gypsy, who knew the riverside well, gave him directions on which way to go, and he set off on his travels again in the best of spirits. He was, in fact, a very different Toad from the one he had been an hour ago. The sun was shining brightly, his wet clothes were completely dry again, he had money in his pocket once more, he was getting closer to home and friends and safety, and, most importantly, he had enjoyed a substantial meal, hot and nourishing, and felt big, strong, carefree, and self-assured.
As he tramped along gaily, he thought of his adventures and escapes, and how when things seemed at their worst he had always managed to find a way out; and his pride and conceit began to swell within him. "Ho, ho!" he said to himself, as he marched along with his chin in the air, "what a clever Toad I am! There [Pg 275] is surely no animal equal to me for cleverness in the whole world! My enemies shut me up in prison, encircled by sentries, watched night and day by warders; I walk out through them all, by sheer ability coupled with courage. They pursue me with engines, and policemen, and revolvers; I snap my fingers at them, and vanish, laughing, into space. I am, unfortunately, thrown into a canal by a woman fat of body and very evil-minded. What of it? I swim ashore, I seize her horse, I ride off in triumph, and I sell the horse for a whole pocketful of money and an excellent breakfast! Ho, ho! I am The Toad, the handsome, the popular, the successful Toad!" He got so puffed up with conceit that he made up a song as he walked in praise of himself, and sang it at the top of his voice, though there was no one to hear it but him. It was, perhaps, the most conceited song that any animal ever composed.
As he walked along happily, he thought about his adventures and close calls, realizing that whenever things seemed their worst, he always managed to find a way out. His pride and self-importance began to swell inside him. "Ha, ha!" he said to himself as he walked with his chin held high, "What a clever Toad I am! There's surely no creature as clever as me in the whole world! My enemies locked me up in prison, surrounded by guards, watched day and night by wardens; yet I walked right out through them all, thanks to my sheer skill and bravery. They chase me with machines, and cops, and guns; I just laugh at them and disappear into thin air. Unfortunately, a heavy-set and wicked woman threw me into a canal. So what? I swam to shore, grabbed her horse, rode off in triumph, and sold the horse for a pocketful of cash and a great breakfast! Ha, ha! I am The Toad, the charming, the adored, the successful Toad!" He got so full of himself that he made up a song praising himself as he walked and sang it at the top of his lungs, even though no one was around to hear it but him. It was probably the most arrogant song any creature had ever written.
As history books have shown; But never a name to achieve fame Compared to that of Toad!
[Pg 276]
Know everything there is to know.
But none of them know even half as much As smart as Mr. Toad!
They cried uncontrollably. Who said, 'There's land up ahead?'
Cheering on Mr. Toad!
Was it the King? Or Kitchener? No. It was Mr. Toad.
Sat by the window and sewed.
She cried, 'Look! Who's that attractive man?' They replied, 'Mr. Toad.'
There was a great deal more of the same sort, but too dreadfully conceited to be written down. These are some of the milder verses.
There was a lot more of the same kind, but it was too incredibly egotistical to be recorded. These are some of the softer verses.
He sang as he walked, and he walked as he sang, and got more inflated every minute. But his pride was shortly to have a severe fall.
He sang as he walked, and he walked as he sang, getting more and more full of himself every minute. But his pride was soon about to take a big hit.
After some miles of country lanes he reached the high road, and as he turned into it and [Pg 277] glanced along its white length, he saw approaching him a speck that turned into a dot and then into a blob, and then into something very familiar; and a double note of warning, only too well known, fell on his delighted ear.
After a few miles on country roads, he reached the main road, and as he turned onto it and glanced down its long stretch, he noticed a tiny shape coming towards him that quickly transformed into a dot, then a blob, and finally something very familiar; and a double note of warning, all too recognizable, sounded in his happy ears.
"This is something like!" said the excited Toad. "This is real life again, this is once more the great world from which I have been missed so long! I will hail them, my brothers of the wheel, and pitch them a yarn, of the sort that has been so successful hitherto; and they will give me a lift, of course, and then I will talk to them some more; and, perhaps, with luck, it may even end in my driving up to Toad Hall in a motor-car! That will be one in the eye for Badger!"
"This is incredible!" said the excited Toad. "This is real life again, this is the big world I've missed for so long! I'll greet my fellow road travelers and share a story, just like I’ve done so successfully before; they’ll definitely give me a ride, and then I can chat with them some more; and maybe, with a bit of luck, it’ll even end with me driving up to Toad Hall in a car! That’ll show Badger!"
He stepped confidently out into the road to hail the motor-car, which came along at an easy pace, slowing down as it neared the lane; when suddenly he became very pale, his heart turned to water, his knees shook and yielded under him, and he doubled up and collapsed with a sickening pain in his interior. And well he might, the unhappy animal; for the approaching car was the very one he had stolen out of the yard of [Pg 278] the Red Lion Hotel on that fatal day when all his troubles began! And the people in it were the very same people he had sat and watched at luncheon in the coffee-room!
He stepped confidently into the road to flag down the car, which was coming along at a leisurely pace, slowing down as it approached the lane; when suddenly he went pale, his heart sank, his knees shook and gave way under him, and he bent over and collapsed with a nauseating pain in his stomach. And he had good reason to, the poor guy; for the car coming his way was the exact one he had stolen from the yard of the Red Lion Hotel on that fateful day when all his troubles started! And the people in it were the same ones he had watched during lunch in the coffee room!
He sank down in a shabby, miserable heap in the road, murmuring to himself in his despair, "It's all up! It's all over now! Chains and policemen again! Prison again! Dry bread and water again! O, what a fool I have been! What did I want to go strutting about the country for, singing conceited songs, and hailing people in broad day on the high road, instead of hiding till nightfall and slipping home quietly by back ways! O hapless Toad! O ill-fated animal!"
He collapsed in a shabby, miserable heap on the road, muttering to himself in his despair, "It's all over! It's done now! Chains and cops again! Prison again! Dry bread and water again! Oh, what a fool I've been! What made me think I could strut around the country, singing my own praises, and greeting people in broad daylight on the main road, instead of waiting until night and sneaking home quietly through side streets! Oh, poor Toad! Oh, cursed creature!"
The terrible motor-car drew slowly nearer and nearer, till at last he heard it stop just short of him. Two gentlemen got out and walked round the trembling heap of crumpled misery lying in the road, and one of them said, "O dear! this is very sad! Here is a poor old thing—a washerwoman apparently—who has fainted in the road! Perhaps she is overcome by the heat, poor creature; or possibly she has not had any [Pg 279] food to-day. Let us lift her into the car and take her to the nearest village, where doubtless she has friends."
The terrible car slowly edged closer and closer until he finally heard it stop just short of him. Two men got out and walked around the trembling pile of crumpled misery lying in the road, and one of them said, "Oh dear! This is very sad! Here’s a poor old woman—a washerwoman, it seems—who has fainted in the road! Maybe she’s overcome by the heat, poor thing; or perhaps she hasn’t eaten anything today. Let’s lift her into the car and take her to the nearest village, where she probably has friends."
They tenderly lifted Toad into the motor-car and propped him up with soft cushions, and proceeded on their way.
They gently lifted Toad into the car and supported him with comfy cushions before continuing on their way.
When Toad heard them talk in so kind and sympathetic a way, and knew that he was not recognised, his courage began to revive, and he cautiously opened first one eye and then the other.
When Toad heard them talking in such a kind and understanding way, and realized that they didn’t recognize him, his courage started to boost, and he carefully opened one eye and then the other.
"Look!" said one of the gentlemen, "she is better already. The fresh air is doing her good. How do you feel now, ma'am?"
"Look!" said one of the gentlemen, "she's better already. The fresh air is helping her. How do you feel now, ma'am?"
"Thank you kindly, sir," said Toad in a feeble voice, "I'm feeling a great deal better!" "That's right," said the gentleman. "Now keep quite still, and, above all, don't try to talk."
"Thank you so much, sir," Toad said weakly, "I'm feeling a lot better!" "That's good," the gentleman replied. "Now stay completely still, and above all, don't try to talk."
"I won't," said Toad. "I was only thinking, if I might sit on the front seat there, beside the driver, where I could get the fresh air full in my face, I should soon be all right again."
"I won’t," said Toad. "I was just thinking, if I could sit in the front seat next to the driver, where I could get the fresh air right in my face, I’d feel better in no time."
"What a very sensible woman!" said the [Pg 280] gentleman. "Of course you shall." So they carefully helped Toad into the front seat beside the driver, and on they went again.
"What a very sensible woman!" said the gentleman. "Of course you shall." So they carefully helped Toad into the front seat beside the driver, and on they went again.
Toad was almost himself again by now. He sat up, looked about him, and tried to beat down the tremors, the yearnings, the old cravings that rose up and beset him and took possession of him entirely.
Toad was almost himself again now. He sat up, looked around, and tried to push down the shakes, the longings, the old desires that surged up and overwhelmed him completely.
"It is fate!" he said to himself. "Why strive? why struggle?" and he turned to the driver at his side.
"It’s fate!" he said to himself. "Why bother? Why fight?" and he turned to the driver next to him.
"Please, Sir," he said, "I wish you would kindly let me try and drive the car for a little. I've been watching you carefully, and it looks so easy and so interesting, and I should like to be able to tell my friends that once I had driven a motor-car!"
"Please, sir," he said, "I'd really appreciate it if you could let me try driving the car for a bit. I've been watching you closely, and it looks so easy and interesting. I'd love to be able to tell my friends that I once drove a motor car!"
The driver laughed at the proposal, so heartily that the gentleman inquired what the matter was. When he heard, he said, to Toad's delight, "Bravo, ma'am! I like your spirit. Let her have a try, and look after her. She won't do any harm."
The driver laughed at the suggestion so much that the gentleman asked what was going on. When he found out, he said, to Toad's joy, "Well done, ma'am! I admire your confidence. Let her give it a go, and keep an eye on her. She won't cause any trouble."
Toad eagerly scrambled into the seat vacated [Pg 281] by the driver, took the steering-wheel in his hands, listened with affected humility to the instructions given him, and set the car in motion, but very slowly and carefully at first, for he was determined to be prudent.
Toad eagerly jumped into the seat left empty by the driver, grabbed the steering wheel, pretended to listen humbly to the instructions he received, and started driving the car, but very slowly and carefully at first, because he was determined to be cautious.
The gentlemen behind clapped their hands and applauded, and Toad heard them saying, "How well she does it! Fancy a washerwoman driving a car as well as that, the first time!"
The guys behind clapped their hands and cheered, and Toad heard them saying, "She’s doing it so well! Can you believe a washerwoman can drive a car like that on her first try?"
Toad went a little faster; then faster still, and faster.
Toad picked up speed, going faster and then even faster.
He heard the gentlemen call out warningly, "Be careful, washerwoman!" And this annoyed him, and he began to lose his head.
He heard the guys shout a warning, "Watch out, washerwoman!" This irritated him, and he started to lose his cool.
The driver tried to interfere, but he pinned him down in his seat with one elbow, and put on full speed. The rush of air in his face, the hum of the engines, and the light jump of the car beneath him intoxicated his weak brain. "Washerwoman, indeed!" he shouted recklessly. "Ho! ho! I am the Toad, the motor-car snatcher, the prison-breaker, the Toad who always escapes! Sit still, and you shall know what driving really is, for you are in the hands [Pg 282] of the famous, the skilful, the entirely fearless Toad!"
The driver tried to get involved, but he pinned him back in his seat with one elbow and hit the gas. The rush of air in his face, the hum of the engines, and the light bounce of the car beneath him filled his mind with excitement. "Washerwoman, really!" he shouted carelessly. "Ha! I'm the Toad, the car thief, the break-out master, the Toad who always gets away! Sit tight, and you'll see what real driving is like, because you're in the hands of the famous, the skilled, and the totally fearless Toad!" [Pg 282]
With a cry of horror the whole party rose and flung themselves on him. "Seize him!" they cried, "seize the Toad, the wicked animal who stole our motor-car! Bind him, chain him, drag him to the nearest police station! Down with the desperate and dangerous Toad!"
With a scream of terror, the whole group jumped up and rushed at him. "Grab him!" they shouted, "grab the Toad, the evil creature who took our car! Tie him up, chain him, drag him to the nearest police station! Down with the reckless and dangerous Toad!"
Alas! they should have thought, they ought to have been more prudent, they should have remembered to stop the motor-car somehow before playing any pranks of that sort. With a half-turn of the wheel the Toad sent the car crashing through the low hedge that ran along the roadside. One mighty bound, a violent shock, and the wheels of the car were churning up the thick mud of a horse-pond.
Unfortunately, they should have considered that they needed to be more careful; they should have remembered to stop the car somehow before pulling any stunts like that. With a quick turn of the wheel, Toad sent the car crashing through the low hedge beside the road. One big leap, a hard jolt, and the car's wheels were spinning in the thick mud of a horse pond.
Toad found himself flying through the air with the strong upward rush and delicate curve of a swallow. He liked the motion, and was just beginning to wonder whether it would go on until he developed wings and turned into a Toad-bird, when he landed on his back with a [Pg 283] thump, in the soft, rich grass of a meadow. Sitting up, he could just see the motor-car in the pond, nearly submerged; the gentlemen and the driver, encumbered by their long coats, were floundering helplessly in the water.
Toad found himself soaring through the air with the strong lift and graceful arc of a swallow. He enjoyed the feeling and was just starting to wonder if it would continue until he grew wings and became a Toad-bird when he landed on his back with a thud in the soft, lush grass of a meadow. Sitting up, he could barely see the car in the pond, almost fully underwater; the gentlemen and the driver, weighed down by their long coats, were struggling helplessly in the water.
He picked himself up rapidly, and set off running across country as hard as he could, scrambling through hedges, jumping ditches, pounding across fields, till he was breathless and weary, and had to settle down into an easy walk. When he had recovered his breath somewhat, and was able to think calmly, he began to giggle, and from giggling he took to laughing, and he laughed till he had to sit down under a hedge. "Ho! ho!" he cried, in ecstasies of self-admiration. "Toad again! Toad, as usual, comes out on the top! Who was it got them to give him a lift? Who managed to get on the front seat for the sake of fresh air? Who persuaded them into letting him see if he could drive? Who landed them all in a horse-pond? Who escaped, flying gaily and unscathed through the air, leaving the narrow-minded, grudging, timid excursionists in the mud where they [Pg 284] should rightly be? Why, Toad, of course; clever Toad, great Toad, good Toad!"
He quickly got back on his feet and took off running across the countryside as fast as he could, scrambling through bushes, jumping over ditches, and racing across fields until he was out of breath and tired, forcing him to slow down to an easy walking pace. Once he caught his breath and could think clearly, he started to giggle, which turned into laughter, and he laughed so hard that he had to sit down under a hedge. "Ha! Ha!" he exclaimed, filled with self-admiration. "Toad again! Toad, as usual, comes out on top! Who was it that got them to give him a lift? Who managed to score the front seat for some fresh air? Who convinced them to let him see if he could drive? Who ended up with everyone in a horse-pond? Who flew away, carefree and unscathed, leaving the narrow-minded, begrudging, timid tourists stuck in the mud where they should be? Why, Toad, of course; clever Toad, great Toad, good Toad!"
Then he burst into song again, and chanted with uplifted voice—
Then he started singing again, raising his voice—
As it sped down the road. Who was it that drove it into a pond? Smart Mr. Toad!
O, how clever I am! How clever, how clever, how very clev—"
O, how smart I am! How smart, how smart, how very sm—"
A slight noise at a distance behind him made him turn his head and look. O horror! O misery! O despair!
A faint noise coming from behind him made him turn his head and look. Oh no! Oh, how terrible! Oh, the despair!
About two fields off, a chauffeur in his leather gaiters and two large rural policemen were visible, running towards him as hard as they could go!
About two fields away, a chauffeur in his leather boots and two large rural police officers were visible, running toward him as fast as they could!
Poor Toad sprang to his feet and pelted away again, his heart in his mouth. "O, my!" he gasped, as he panted along, "what an ass I am! What a conceited and heedless ass! Swaggering again! Shouting and singing songs again! Sitting still and gassing again! O my! O my! O my!" [Pg 285]
Poor Toad jumped to his feet and ran away again, his heart racing. "Oh, no!" he gasped as he struggled to catch his breath, "what a fool I am! What a conceited and careless fool! Strutting around again! Yelling and singing songs again! Just sitting still and chatting again! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" [Pg 285]
He glanced back, and saw to his dismay that they were gaining on him. On he ran desperately, but kept looking back, and saw that they still gained steadily. He did his best, but he was a fat animal, and his legs were short, and still they gained. He could hear them close behind him now. Ceasing to heed where he was going, he struggled on blindly and wildly, looking back over his shoulder at the now triumphant enemy, when suddenly the earth failed under his feet, he grasped at the air, and, splash! he found himself head over ears in deep water, rapid water, water that bore him along with a force he could not contend with; and he knew that in his blind panic he had run straight into the river!
He glanced back and, to his horror, saw that they were catching up to him. He ran desperately but kept looking back, noticing they were still gaining on him steadily. He did his best, but he was a heavy animal with short legs, and they continued to close in. He could hear them right behind him now. Ignoring where he was going, he stumbled on blindly and wildly, looking back over his shoulder at the now victorious enemy, when suddenly the ground gave way beneath him. He reached out for something to grab, and then, splash! He found himself head over heels in deep water, rushing water that swept him away with a force he couldn’t fight against; and he realized that in his blind panic, he had run straight into the river!
He rose to the surface and tried to grasp the reeds and the rushes that grew along the water's edge close under the bank, but the stream was so strong that it tore them out of his hands. "O my!" gasped poor Toad, "if ever I steal a motor-car again! If ever I sing another conceited song"—then down he went, [Pg 286] and came up breathless and spluttering. Presently he saw that he was approaching a big dark hole in the bank, just above his head, and as the stream bore him past he reached up with a paw and caught hold of the edge and held on. Then slowly and with difficulty he drew himself up out of the water, till at last he was able to rest his elbows on the edge of the hole. There he remained for some minutes, puffing and panting, for he was quite exhausted.
He surfaced and tried to grab onto the reeds and rushes that grew along the water's edge right by the bank, but the current was so strong that it ripped them out of his hands. “Oh no!” gasped poor Toad, “if I ever steal a car again! If I ever sing another arrogant song”—then he went under, [Pg 286] and came up breathless and sputtering. Soon, he saw that he was nearing a big dark hole in the bank, just above him, and as the current carried him past, he reached up with a paw and grabbed onto the edge and held on. Then slowly and with difficulty, he pulled himself up out of the water until he could finally rest his elbows on the edge of the hole. He stayed there for a few minutes, puffing and panting, as he was completely exhausted.
As he sighed and blew and stared before him into the dark hole, some bright small thing shone and twinkled in its depths, moving towards him. As it approached, a face grew up gradually around it, and it was a familiar face!
As he sighed and blew, staring into the dark hole ahead of him, a small bright thing shone and flickered in its depths, moving towards him. As it got closer, a face slowly formed around it, and it was a face he recognized!
Brown and small, with whiskers.
Brown and small, with whiskers.
Grave and round, with neat ears and silky hair.
Grave and round, with tidy ears and silky hair.
It was the Water Rat! [Pg 287]
It was the Water Rat!
THE Rat put out a neat little brown paw, gripped Toad firmly by the scruff of the neck, and gave a great hoist and a pull; and the water-logged Toad came up slowly but surely over the edge of the hole, till at last he stood safe and sound in the hall, streaked with mud and weed, to be sure, and with the water streaming off him, but happy and high-spirited as of old, now that he found himself once more in the house of a friend, and dodgings and evasions were over, and he could lay aside a disguise that was unworthy of his position and wanted such a lot of living up to.
THE Rat extended a tidy little brown paw, grabbed Toad firmly by the scruff of his neck, and with a big heave and pull; the soaked Toad slowly but surely emerged from the hole, until he finally stood safe and sound in the hall, covered in mud and weeds, for sure, and with water dripping off him, but happy and spirited as ever, now that he found himself back in a friend's house, where dodging and hiding were behind him, and he could shed a disguise that was beneath him and required too much effort to uphold.
"O, Ratty!" he cried. "I've been through such times since I saw you last, you can't think! Such trials, such sufferings, and all so nobly [Pg 290] borne! Then such escapes, such disguises, such subterfuges, and all so cleverly planned and carried out! Been in prison—got out of it, of course! Been thrown into a canal—swam ashore! Stole a horse—sold him for a large sum of money! Humbugged everybody—made 'em all do exactly what I wanted! Oh, I am a smart Toad, and no mistake! What do you think my last exploit was? Just hold on till I tell you—"
"Oh, Ratty!" he exclaimed. "I've been through so much since I last saw you, you wouldn’t believe it! So many challenges, so much suffering, and all so bravely handled! Then there were all the narrow escapes, disguises, and clever tricks, all so well thought out and executed! I was in prison—managed to escape, of course! I was thrown into a canal—swam back to shore! I stole a horse—sold him for a big pile of cash! I tricked everyone—made them all do exactly what I wanted! Oh, I really am a clever Toad, no doubt about it! Want to hear about my latest adventure? Just wait until I tell you—"
"Toad," said the Water Rat, gravely and firmly, "you go off upstairs at once, and take off that old cotton rag that looks as if it might formerly have belonged to some washerwoman, and clean yourself thoroughly, and put on some of my clothes, and try and come down looking like a gentleman if you can; for a more shabby, bedraggled, disreputable-looking object than you are I never set eyes on in my whole life! Now, stop swaggering and arguing, and be off! I'll have something to say to you later!"
"Toad," the Water Rat said seriously and firmly, "you need to head upstairs right now, take off that old rag that looks like it used to belong to a washerwoman, clean yourself up properly, and put on some of my clothes. Try to come down looking like a gentleman if you can; I've never seen such a shabby, disheveled, unfashionable sight in my entire life! Now, stop strutting around and arguing, and go! I'll have more to say to you later!"
Toad was at first inclined to stop and do some talking back at him. He had had enough of being ordered about when he was in prison, [Pg 291] and here was the thing being begun all over again, apparently; and by a Rat, too! However, he caught sight of himself in the looking-glass over the hat-stand, with the rusty black bonnet perched rakishly over one eye, and he changed his mind and went very quickly and humbly upstairs to the Rat's dressing-room. There he had a thorough wash and brush-up, changed his clothes, and stood for a long time before the glass, contemplating himself with pride and pleasure, and thinking what utter idiots all the people must have been to have ever mistaken him for one moment for a washerwoman.
Toad initially wanted to stop and talk back to him. He was tired of being bossed around when he was in prison, and it seemed like that was happening all over again—this time by a Rat! However, when he saw himself in the mirror over the hat stand, with the rusty black hat tilted over one eye, he changed his mind and quickly went upstairs to the Rat's dressing room. There, he washed up, changed his clothes, and spent a long time in front of the mirror, admiring himself with pride and pleasure, thinking about how ridiculous everyone must have been to ever mistake him for a washerwoman.
By the time he came down again luncheon was on the table, and very glad Toad was to see it, for he had been through some trying experiences and had taken much hard exercise since the excellent breakfast provided for him by the gipsy. While they ate Toad told the Rat all his adventures, dwelling chiefly on his own cleverness, and presence of mind in emergencies, and cunning in tight places; and rather making [Pg 292] out that he had been having a gay and highly-coloured experience. But the more he talked and boasted, the more grave and silent the Rat became.
By the time he came back down, lunch was on the table, and Toad was really happy to see it because he had gone through some tough experiences and had done a lot of hard work since the great breakfast the gypsy had given him. While they ate, Toad told the Rat all about his adventures, focusing mainly on his own cleverness, quick thinking in emergencies, and resourcefulness in tight spots; he made it sound like he had been having a fun and exciting time. But the more he talked and bragged, the more serious and quiet the Rat became. [Pg 292]
When at last Toad had talked himself to a standstill, there was silence for a while; and then the Rat said, "Now, Toady, I don't want to give you pain, after all you've been through already; but, seriously, don't you see what an awful ass you've been making of yourself? On your own admission you have been hand-cuffed, imprisoned, starved, chased, terrified out of your life, insulted, jeered at, and ignominiously flung into the water—by a woman, too! Where's the amusement in that? Where does the fun come in? And all because you must needs go and steal a motor-car. You know that you've never had anything but trouble from motor-cars from the moment you first set eyes on one. But if you will be mixed up with them—as you generally are, five minutes after you've started—why steal them? Be a cripple, if you think it's exciting; be a bankrupt, for a change, if you've set your mind on it: but why choose to be a convict? When are you [Pg 293] going to be sensible and think of your friends, and try and be a credit to them? Do you suppose it's any pleasure to me, for instance, to hear animals saying, as I go about, that I'm the chap that keeps company with gaol-birds?"
When Toad finally ran out of things to say, there was a moment of silence. Then Rat said, "Look, Toady, I don't want to hurt you, especially after everything you've been through, but seriously, can't you see how ridiculous you've been acting? By your own admission, you've been handcuffed, imprisoned, starved, chased, terrified out of your mind, insulted, mocked, and thrown into the water—by a woman, no less! Where's the fun in that? And it's all because you decided to steal a car. You know you've only had trouble with cars since the first time you saw one. But if you insist on getting involved with them—as you usually do five minutes after you start—why steal them? You can be a mess if you think it's exciting; go bankrupt if you want a change, but why choose to be a criminal? When are you going to be sensible, think about your friends, and try to make us proud? Do you really think it's enjoyable for me to hear animals say that I'm the one who hangs out with convicts?"

Now, it was a very comforting point in Toad's character that he was a thoroughly good-hearted animal, and never minded being jawed by those who were his real friends. And even when most set upon a thing, he was always able to see the other side of the question. So although, while the Rat was talking so seriously, he kept saying to himself mutinously, "But it was fun, though! Awful fun!" and making strange suppressed noises inside him, k-i-ck-ck-ck, and poop-p-p, and other sounds resembling stifled snorts, or the opening of soda-water bottles, yet when the Rat had quite finished, he heaved a deep sigh and said, very nicely and humbly, "Quite right, Ratty! How sound you always are! Yes, I've been a conceited old ass, I can quite see that; but now I'm going to be a good Toad, and not do it [Pg 294] any more. As for motor-cars, I've not been at all so keen about them since my last ducking in that river of yours. The fact is, while I was hanging on to the edge of your hole and getting my breath, I had a sudden idea—a really brilliant idea—connected with motor-boats—there, there! don't take on so, old chap, and stamp, and upset things; it was only an idea, and we won't talk any more about it now. We'll have our coffee, and a smoke, and a quiet chat, and then I'm going to stroll quietly down to Toad Hall, and get into clothes of my own, and set things going again on the old lines. I've had enough of adventures. I shall lead a quiet, steady, respectable life, pottering about my property, and improving it, and doing a little landscape gardening at times. There will always be a bit of dinner for my friends when they come to see me; and I shall keep a pony-chaise to jog about the country in, just as I used to in the good old days, before I got restless, and wanted to do things."
Now, it was a really comforting part of Toad's character that he was a genuinely good-hearted creature, and he never minded being talked to sternly by those who were his real friends. Even when he really wanted something, he could always see the other side of the argument. So while the Rat was speaking so seriously, he kept muttering to himself rebelliously, "But it was fun, though! Awful fun!" making strange suppressed noises inside him, like k-i-ck-ck-ck, and poop-p-p, and other sounds that resembled stifled snorts or the popping of soda bottles. Yet when the Rat finished talking, he let out a deep sigh and said very nicely and humbly, "You're right, Ratty! How wise you always are! Yes, I've been a conceited old fool, I can see that; but now I'm going to be a good Toad and not act like that anymore. As for motor-cars, I haven't been so keen on them since my last dunking in that river of yours. The truth is, while I was clinging to the edge of your hole and catching my breath, I had a sudden idea—a really brilliant idea—connected with motorboats—there, there! Don't get all upset and stamp around; it was just an idea, and we won't talk about it anymore right now. We'll have our coffee, and a smoke, and a nice chat, and then I'm going to take a quiet stroll down to Toad Hall, change into my own clothes, and get things back to how they used to be. I've had enough of adventures. I’ll live a quiet, steady, respectable life, messing around on my property, improving it, and doing a little landscape gardening from time to time. There will always be a nice dinner for my friends when they come to visit me; and I’ll keep a pony-chaise to take leisurely trips around the countryside, just like I used to in the good old days before I got restless and wanted to do things."
"Stroll quietly down to Toad Hall?" cried the Rat, greatly excited. "What are you talking [Pg 295] about? Do you mean to say you haven't heard?"
"Are you seriously suggesting we quietly walk down to Toad Hall?" yelled the Rat, really excited. "What are you talking about? Are you saying you haven't heard?"
"Heard what?" said Toad, turning rather pale. "Go on, Ratty! Quick! Don't spare me! What haven't I heard?"
"Heard what?" Toad asked, looking a bit pale. "Come on, Ratty! Hurry up! Don’t hold back! What haven’t I heard?"
"Do you mean to tell me," shouted the Rat, thumping with his little fist upon the table, "that you've heard nothing about the Stoats and Weasels?"
"Are you serious?" shouted the Rat, banging his small fist on the table. "You haven't heard anything about the Stoats and Weasels?"
"What, the Wild Wooders?" cried Toad, trembling in every limb. "No, not a word! What have they been doing?"
"What, the Wild Wooders?" cried Toad, shaking all over. "No, not a word! What have they been up to?"
"—And how they've been and taken Toad Hall?" continued the Rat.
"—And how have they managed to take Toad Hall?" continued the Rat.
Toad leaned his elbows on the table, and his chin on his paws; and a large tear welled up in each of his eyes, overflowed and splashed on the table, plop! plop!
Toad rested his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands; and a big tear formed in each of his eyes, overflowed, and splashed onto the table, plop! plop!
"Go on, Ratty," he murmured presently; "tell me all. The worst is over. I am an animal again. I can bear it."
"Go on, Ratty," he said softly after a moment; "tell me everything. The worst is behind us. I’m back to being myself. I can handle it."
"When you—got—into that—that—trouble of yours," said the Rat, slowly and impressively; "I mean, when you—disappeared from [Pg 296] society for a time, over that misunderstanding about a—a machine, you know—"
"When you got into that trouble of yours," said the Rat, slowly and seriously; "I mean, when you disappeared from society for a while, over that misunderstanding about a machine, you know—"
Toad merely nodded.
Toad just nodded.
"Well, it was a good deal talked about down here, naturally," continued the Rat, "not only along the riverside, but even in the Wild Wood. Animals took sides, as always happens. The River-bankers stuck up for you, and said you had been infamously treated, and there was no justice to be had in the land nowadays. But the Wild Wood animals said hard things, and served you right, and it was time this sort of thing was stopped. And they got very cocky, and went about saying you were done for this time! You would never come back again, never, never!"
"Well, it was a big topic of conversation down here, of course," the Rat continued, "not just along the riverside, but even in the Wild Wood. Animals picked sides, as always happens. The River-bankers defended you, saying you had been treated horribly and that there’s no justice to be found in the land these days. But the Wild Wood animals had harsh words, claiming it served you right and that it was about time this kind of thing stopped. They became really arrogant, going around saying you were finished this time! You’d never come back again, never, ever!"
Toad nodded once more, keeping silence.
Toad nodded again, staying quiet.
"That's the sort of little beasts they are," the Rat went on. "But Mole and Badger, they stuck out, through thick and thin, that you would come back again soon, somehow. They didn't know exactly how, but somehow!"
"That's the kind of little creatures they are," the Rat continued. "But Mole and Badger, they held on through everything, believing that you would return again soon, somehow. They weren't sure exactly how, but somehow!"
Toad began to sit up in his chair again, and to smirk a little. [Pg 297]
Toad started to sit up in his chair again and smirk a bit. [Pg 297]
"They argued from history," continued the Rat. "They said that no criminal laws had ever been known to prevail against cheek and plausibility such as yours, combined with the power of a long purse. So they arranged to move their things in to Toad Hall, and sleep there, and keep it aired, and have it all ready for you when you turned up. They didn't guess what was going to happen, of course; still, they had their suspicions of the Wild Wood animals. Now I come to the most painful and tragic part of my story. One dark night—it was a very dark night, and blowing hard, too, and raining simply cats and dogs—a band of weasels, armed to the teeth, crept silently up the carriage-drive to the front entrance. Simultaneously, a body of desperate ferrets, advancing through the kitchen-garden, possessed themselves of the backyard and offices; while a company of skirmishing stoats who stuck at nothing occupied the conservatory and the billiard-room, and held the French windows opening on to the lawn.
"They argued based on history," the Rat continued. "They claimed that no laws against wrongdoing had ever been effective against someone as bold and charming as you, especially when backed by a lot of money. So, they decided to move their stuff into Toad Hall, sleep there, keep it aired out, and have everything ready for you when you arrived. They had no idea what was coming, of course; still, they suspected the animals from the Wild Wood. Now, I come to the saddest and most tragic part of my story. One dark night—it was a really dark night, with strong winds and pouring rain—a group of weasels, heavily armed, sneaked up the driveway to the front entrance. At the same time, a band of desperate ferrets, making their way through the kitchen garden, took over the backyard and offices; while a group of aggressive stoats, who would stop at nothing, occupied the conservatory and the billiard room, holding the French windows that led out to the lawn."
"The Mole and the Badger were sitting by the fire in the smoking-room, telling stories and [Pg 298] suspecting nothing, for it wasn't a night for any animals to be out in, when those bloodthirsty villains broke down the doors and rushed in upon them from every side. They made the best fight they could, but what was the good? They were unarmed, and taken by surprise, and what can two animals do against hundreds? They took and beat them severely with sticks, those two poor faithful creatures, and turned them out into the cold and the wet, with many insulting and uncalled-for remarks!"
"The Mole and the Badger were sitting by the fire in the lounge, sharing stories and not suspecting a thing, since it wasn’t a night for any animals to be out. Suddenly, those ruthless villains burst through the doors and charged in from every direction. They put up the best fight they could, but what good did it do? They were unarmed and caught off guard; what can two animals do against hundreds? They were brutally beaten with sticks, those two loyal creatures, and then thrown out into the cold and rain, with plenty of hurtful and unnecessary taunts!"
Here the unfeeling Toad broke into a snigger, and then pulled himself together and tried to look particularly solemn.
Here the unfeeling Toad burst into a laugh, then pulled himself together and tried to look especially serious.
"And the Wild Wooders have been living in Toad Hall ever since," continued the Rat; "and going on simply anyhow! Lying in bed half the day, and breakfast at all hours, and the place in such a mess (I'm told) it's not fit to be seen! Eating your grub, and drinking your drink, and making bad jokes about you, and singing vulgar songs, about—well, about prisons and magistrates, and policemen; horrid personal songs, with no humour in them. And [Pg 299] they're telling the tradespeople and everybody that they've come to stay for good."
"And the Wild Wooders have been living in Toad Hall ever since," the Rat went on; "and just doing whatever they want! Sleeping in half the day, having breakfast at all sorts of times, and the place is such a mess (I've heard) it's not even fit to be seen! Eating your food, drinking your drinks, making jokes about you that aren't funny, and singing rude songs about—well, about prisons and judges and police officers; awful personal songs, with no humor at all. And they're telling the shopkeepers and everyone that they're planning to stay for good." [Pg 299]
"O, have they!" said Toad, getting up and seizing a stick. "I'll jolly soon see about that!"
"O, have they!" said Toad, getting up and grabbing a stick. "I'll definitely take care of that soon!"
"It's no good, Toad!" called the Rat after him. "You'd better come back and sit down; you'll only get into trouble."
"It's no use, Toad!" Rat shouted after him. "You should come back and sit down; you're just going to get into trouble."
But the Toad was off, and there was no holding him. He marched rapidly down the road, his stick over his shoulder, fuming and muttering to himself in his anger, till he got near his front gate, when suddenly there popped up from behind the palings a long yellow ferret with a gun.
But the Toad was gone, and there was no stopping him. He marched quickly down the road, his stick over his shoulder, fuming and mumbling to himself in his rage, until he got close to his front gate, when suddenly a long yellow ferret appeared from behind the fence, holding a gun.
"Who comes there?" said the ferret sharply.
"Who’s there?" the ferret asked sharply.
"Stuff and nonsense!" said Toad, very angrily. "What do you mean by talking like that to me? Come out of that at once or I'll—"
"That's just nonsense!" Toad said, very angrily. "What do you mean by speaking to me like that? Come out of there right now or I'll—"
The ferret said never a word, but he brought his gun up to his shoulder. Toad prudently dropped flat in the road, and Bang! a bullet whistled over his head.
The ferret didn't say a word, but he raised his gun to his shoulder. Toad wisely dropped flat on the road, and Bang! a bullet whizzed over his head.
The startled Toad scrambled to his feet and [Pg 300] scampered off down the road as hard as he could; and as he ran he heard the ferret laughing and other horrid thin little laughs taking it up and carrying on the sound.
The startled Toad jumped to his feet and [Pg 300]ran down the road as fast as he could; and as he ran, he heard the ferret laughing and other creepy, high-pitched laughs joining in and echoing around him.
He went back, very crestfallen, and told the Water Rat.
He went back, feeling very down, and told the Water Rat.
"What did I tell you?" said the Rat. "It's no good. They've got sentries posted, and they are all armed. You must just wait."
"What did I tell you?" said the Rat. "It's not going to work. They have guards posted, and they're all armed. You just have to wait."
Still, Toad was not inclined to give in all at once. So he got out the boat, and set off rowing up the river to where the garden front of Toad Hall came down to the water-side.
Still, Toad wasn’t ready to give in completely. So he got the boat out and started rowing up the river to where the garden of Toad Hall met the water.
Arriving within sight of his old home, he rested on his oars and surveyed the land cautiously. All seemed very peaceful and deserted and quiet. He could see the whole front of Toad Hall, glowing in the evening sunshine, the pigeons settling by twos and threes along the straight line of the roof; the garden, a blaze of flowers; the creek that led up to the boat-house, the little wooden bridge that crossed it; all tranquil, uninhabited, apparently waiting for his return. He would try the boat-house [Pg 301] first, he thought. Very warily he paddled up to the mouth of the creek, and was just passing under the bridge, when ... Crash!
As he got close to his old home, he paused and carefully looked around. Everything seemed very calm, deserted, and quiet. He could see the entire front of Toad Hall, shining in the evening sunlight, with pigeons settling in pairs along the straight roofline; the garden was bursting with flowers; the creek leading to the boat-house and the little wooden bridge that crossed it—all tranquil, empty, as if waiting for him to come back. He decided to check the boat-house first. Very cautiously, he paddled up to the entrance of the creek and was just going under the bridge when... Crash!
A great stone, dropped from above, smashed through the bottom of the boat. It filled and sank, and Toad found himself struggling in deep water. Looking up, he saw two stoats leaning over the parapet of the bridge and watching him with great glee. "It will be your head next time, Toady!" they called out to him. The indignant Toad swam to shore, while the stoats laughed and laughed, supporting each other, and laughed again, till they nearly had two fits—that is, one fit each, of course.
A big stone, dropped from above, shattered the bottom of the boat. It filled up and sank, and Toad found himself struggling in deep water. Looking up, he saw two stoats leaning over the edge of the bridge, watching him with delight. "You're next, Toady!" they shouted at him. The furious Toad swam to shore, while the stoats laughed and laughed, propping each other up, and laughed some more, until they nearly had two fits—that is, one fit each, of course.
The Toad retraced his weary way on foot, and related his disappointing experiences to the Water Rat once more.
The Toad walked wearily back on foot and shared his frustrating experiences with the Water Rat once again.
"Well, what did I tell you?" said the Rat very crossly. "And, now, look here! See what you've been and done! Lost me my boat that I was so fond of, that's what you've done! And simply ruined that nice suit of clothes that [Pg 302] I lent you! Really, Toad, of all the trying animals—I wonder you manage to keep any friends at all!"
"Well, what did I tell you?" said the Rat, clearly annoyed. "And now, look! See what you've gone and done! You've lost my boat that I loved so much, that's what you've done! And you've totally ruined that nice suit of clothes that I lent you! [Pg 302] Honestly, Toad, of all the frustrating animals—I wonder how you even keep any friends!"
The Toad saw at once how wrongly and foolishly he had acted. He admitted his errors and wrong-headedness and made a full apology to Rat for losing his boat and spoiling his clothes. And he wound up by saying, with that frank self-surrender which always disarmed his friends' criticism and won them back to his side, "Ratty! I see that I have been a headstrong and a wilful Toad! Henceforth, believe me, I will be humble and submissive, and will take no action without your kind advice and full approval!"
The Toad immediately realized how wrong and foolish he had been. He acknowledged his mistakes and stubbornness and apologized to Rat for losing his boat and ruining his clothes. He concluded by saying, with that honest self-reflection that always diffused his friends' criticism and brought them back to his side, "Ratty! I recognize that I have been a headstrong and willful Toad! From now on, believe me, I will be humble and obedient, and I won’t take any action without your advice and full approval!"
"If that is really so," said the good-natured Rat, already appeased, "then my advice to you is, considering the lateness of the hour, to sit down and have your supper, which will be on the table in a minute, and be very patient. For I am convinced that we can do nothing until we have seen the Mole and the Badger, and heard their latest news, and held conference and taken their advice in this difficult matter."
"If that’s true," said the good-natured Rat, now calmed down, "then my advice to you is, considering how late it is, to sit down and have your supper, which will be ready in a minute, and be patient. I really believe we can’t do anything until we’ve talked to the Mole and the Badger, heard what’s new with them, held a meeting, and gotten their advice on this tricky situation."
"Oh, ah, yes, of course, the Mole and the [Pg 303] Badger," said Toad, lightly. "What's become of them, the dear fellows? I had forgotten all about them."
"Oh, yeah, of course, the Mole and the [Pg 303] Badger," said Toad casually. "What happened to them, the good guys? I totally forgot about them."
"Well may you ask!" said the Rat reproachfully. "While you were riding about the country in expensive motor-cars, and galloping proudly on blood-horses, and breakfasting on the fat of the land, those two poor devoted animals have been camping out in the open, in every sort of weather, living very rough by day and lying very hard by night; watching over your house, patrolling your boundaries, keeping a constant eye on the stoats and the weasels, scheming and planning and contriving how to get your property back for you. You don't deserve to have such true and loyal friends, Toad, you don't, really. Some day, when it's too late, you'll be sorry you didn't value them more while you had them!"
"Well, you might wonder!" said the Rat, sounding disappointed. "While you were out driving around in fancy cars, riding proudly on expensive horses, and enjoying big breakfasts, those two poor devoted animals have been living outdoors, facing all kinds of weather, roughing it during the day and sleeping uncomfortably at night; keeping an eye on your house, patrolling your property, and watching for the stoats and weasels, figuring out how to get your stuff back for you. You really don’t deserve such loyal friends, Toad. One day, when it’s too late, you’ll regret not appreciating them more when you had the chance!"
"I'm an ungrateful beast, I know," sobbed Toad, shedding bitter tears. "Let me go out and find them, out into the cold, dark night, and share their hardships, and try and prove by—Hold on a bit! Surely I heard the chink [Pg 304] of dishes on a tray! Supper's here at last, hooray! Come on, Ratty!"
"I'm an ungrateful jerk, I know," Toad cried, wiping away his tears. "Let me go out and find them, into the cold, dark night, and share their struggles, and try to show that—Wait a second! Did I just hear the sound of dishes on a tray? Dinner's finally here, hooray! Come on, Ratty!"
The Rat remembered that poor Toad had been on prison fare for a considerable time, and that large allowances had therefore to be made. He followed him to the table accordingly, and hospitably encouraged him in his gallant efforts to make up for past privations.
The Rat remembered that poor Toad had been eating basic prison food for a long time, so he knew he had to be understanding. He went over to the table and cheerfully supported Toad in his brave attempts to enjoy himself and make up for his past hardships.
They had just finished their meal and resumed their arm-chairs, when there came a heavy knock at the door.
They had just finished their meal and returned to their armchairs when there was a loud knock at the door.
Toad was nervous, but the Rat, nodding mysteriously at him, went straight up to the door and opened it, and in walked Mr. Badger.
Toad was anxious, but the Rat, giving him a mysterious nod, went straight to the door and opened it, and in walked Mr. Badger.
He had all the appearance of one who for some nights had been kept away from home and all its little comforts and conveniences. His shoes were covered with mud, and he was looking very rough and touzled; but then he had never been a very smart man, the Badger, at the best of times. He came solemnly up to Toad, shook him by the paw, and said, "Welcome home, Toad! Alas! what am I saying? Home, indeed! This is a poor home-coming. [Pg 305] Unhappy Toad!" Then he turned his back on him, sat down to the table, drew his chair up, and helped himself to a large slice of cold pie.
He looked like someone who had spent several nights away from home, missing all its little comforts and conveniences. His shoes were muddy, and he looked pretty disheveled; but then again, the Badger had never been particularly put together. He approached Toad seriously, shook his paw, and said, "Welcome home, Toad! Oh no! What am I saying? Home, really! This is such a sad homecoming. [Pg 305] Unhappy Toad!" Then he turned away, sat down at the table, pulled his chair in, and served himself a big slice of cold pie.
Toad was quite alarmed at this very serious and portentous style of greeting; but the Rat whispered to him, "Never mind; don't take any notice; and don't say anything to him just yet. He's always rather low and despondent when he's wanting his victuals. In half an hour's time he'll be quite a different animal."
Toad was pretty shocked by this very serious and ominous way of saying hello; but the Rat whispered to him, "Don't worry; just ignore it; and don't say anything to him right now. He always gets a bit down and mopey when he’s hungry. In half an hour, he'll be a whole different person."
So they waited in silence, and presently there came another and a lighter knock. The Rat, with a nod to Toad, went to the door and ushered in the Mole, very shabby and unwashed, with bits of hay and straw sticking in his fur.
So they waited in silence, and soon there came another, lighter knock. The Rat, nodding to Toad, went to the door and let in the Mole, who looked very shabby and unwashed, with bits of hay and straw sticking to his fur.
"Hooray! Here's old Toad!" cried the Mole, his face beaming. "Fancy having you back again!" And he began to dance round him. "We never dreamt you would turn up so soon! Why, you must have managed to escape, you clever, ingenious, intelligent Toad!"
"Hooray! Look who's back, old Toad!" shouted the Mole, his face lighting up. "I can't believe you're here again!" And he started dancing around him. "We never imagined you'd show up so soon! Wow, you must have pulled off an amazing escape, you clever, resourceful, smart Toad!"
The Rat, alarmed, pulled him by the elbow; [Pg 306] but it was too late. Toad was puffing and swelling already.
The Rat, worried, grabbed him by the elbow; [Pg 306] but it was too late. Toad was already puffing up and swelling.
"Clever? O, no!" he said. "I'm not really clever, according to my friends. I've only broken out of the strongest prison in England, that's all! And captured a railway train and escaped on it, that's all! And disguised myself and gone about the country humbugging everybody, that's all! O, no! I'm a stupid ass, I am! I'll tell you one or two of my little adventures, Mole, and you shall judge for yourself!"
"Clever? Oh, no!" he said. "I'm not really clever, according to my friends. I've just broken out of the most secure prison in England, that's all! And stolen a train and escaped on it, that's all! And disguised myself and traveled around the country fooling everyone, that's all! Oh, no! I'm a total idiot, I am! I'll tell you a couple of my little adventures, Mole, and you can judge for yourself!"
"Well, well," said the Mole, moving towards the supper-table; "supposing you talk while I eat. Not a bite since breakfast! O my! O my!" And he sat down and helped himself liberally to cold beef and pickles.
"Well, well," said the Mole, walking over to the supper table. "How about you chat while I eat? I haven’t had a bite since breakfast! Oh my! Oh my!" And he sat down and generously served himself cold beef and pickles.
Toad straddled on the hearth-rug, thrust his paw into his trouser-pocket and pulled out a handful of silver. "Look at that!" he cried, displaying it. "That's not so bad, is it, for a few minutes' work? And how do you think I done it, Mole? Horse-dealing! That's how I done it!" [Pg 307]
Toad sat on the hearth rug, stuck his paw into his pants pocket, and pulled out a handful of silver. "Check this out!" he exclaimed, showing it off. "Not too shabby, right, for just a few minutes of work? And guess how I did it, Mole? Horse-dealing! That’s how I did it!" [Pg 307]
"Go on, Toad," said the Mole, immensely interested.
"Go ahead, Toad," said the Mole, really interested.
"Toad, do be quiet, please!" said the Rat. "And don't you egg him on, Mole, when you know what he is; but please tell us as soon as possible what the position is, and what's best to be done, now that Toad is back at last."
"Toad, please be quiet!" said the Rat. "And don’t encourage him, Mole, knowing what he’s like; but please let us know as soon as you can what the situation is and what we should do now that Toad is finally back."
"The position's about as bad as it can be," replied the Mole grumpily; "and as for what's to be done, why, blest if I know! The Badger and I have been round and round the place, by night and by day; always the same thing. Sentries posted everywhere, guns poked out at us, stones thrown at us; always an animal on the look-out, and when they see us, my! how they do laugh! That's what annoys me most!"
"The situation couldn't be worse," replied the Mole grumpily. "And as for what to do, I honestly have no idea! The Badger and I have searched the place day and night; it’s always the same. Guards posted everywhere, guns aimed at us, stones thrown our way; there's always some animal on watch, and when they spot us, wow, do they laugh! That’s what frustrates me the most!"
"It's a very difficult situation," said the Rat, reflecting deeply. "But I think I see now, in the depths of my mind, what Toad really ought to do. I will tell you. He ought to—"
"It's a really tough situation," said the Rat, thinking hard. "But I think I understand now, deep down, what Toad really should do. I'll tell you. He should—"
"No, he oughtn't!" shouted the Mole, with his mouth full. "Nothing of the sort! You don't understand. What he ought to do is, he ought to—" [Pg 308]
"No, he shouldn't!" shouted the Mole, with his mouth full. "Nothing like that! You don’t get it. What he should do is, he should—" [Pg 308]
"Well, I shan't do it, anyway!" cried Toad, getting excited. "I'm not going to be ordered about by you fellows! It's my house we're talking about, and I know exactly what to do, and I'll tell you. I'm going to—"
"Well, I'm not doing it, anyway!" shouted Toad, getting worked up. "I'm not going to let you guys boss me around! We're talking about my house, and I know exactly what to do, and I'll tell you. I'm going to—"
By this time they were all three talking at once, at the top of their voices, and the noise was simply deafening, when a thin, dry voice made itself heard, saying, "Be quiet at once, all of you!" and instantly every one was silent.
By this point, all three of them were talking at once, shouting at the top of their lungs, and the noise was just overwhelming when a thin, dry voice cut in, saying, "Shut up right now, all of you!" and immediately everyone fell silent.
It was the Badger, who, having finished his pie, had turned round in his chair and was looking at them severely. When he saw that he had secured their attention, and that they were evidently waiting for him to address them, he turned back to the table again and reached out for the cheese. And so great was the respect commanded by the solid qualities of that admirable animal, that not another word was uttered, until he had quite finished his repast and brushed the crumbs from his knees. The Toad fidgeted a good deal, but the Rat held him firmly down.
It was the Badger, who, after finishing his pie, turned in his chair and looked at them seriously. When he saw that he had their full attention and they were clearly waiting for him to speak, he turned back to the table and reached for the cheese. The respect commanded by that remarkable animal was so profound that not another word was spoken until he had completely finished his meal and brushed the crumbs from his lap. The Toad fidgeted quite a bit, but the Rat held him down firmly.
When the Badger had quite done, he got up [Pg 309] from his seat and stood before the fireplace, reflecting deeply. At last he spoke.
When the Badger finished, he stood up from his seat and moved in front of the fireplace, thinking hard. Finally, he spoke.
"Toad," he said severely. "You bad, troublesome little animal! Aren't you ashamed of yourself? What do you think your father, my old friend, would have said if he had been here to-night, and had known of all your goings on?"
"Toad," he said sternly. "You naughty, annoying little creature! Aren't you embarrassed? What do you think your father, my old friend, would have said if he were here tonight and knew about all your antics?"
Toad, who was on the sofa by this time, with his legs up, rolled over on his face, shaken by sobs of contrition.
Toad, who was now on the sofa with his legs up, rolled over onto his face, shaken by sobs of regret.
"There, there!" went on the Badger, more kindly. "Never mind. Stop crying. We're going to let bygones be bygones, and try and turn over a new leaf. But what the Mole says is quite true. The stoats are on guard, at every point, and they make the best sentinels in the world. It's quite useless to think of attacking the place. They're too strong for us."
"Hey, hey!" the Badger said more gently. "It’s okay. Stop crying. We're going to put the past behind us and try to start fresh. But what the Mole says is absolutely right. The stoats are watching everywhere, and they're the best guards around. It’s pointless to think about attacking the place. They’re just too strong for us."
"Then it's all over," sobbed the Toad, crying into the sofa cushions. "I shall go and enlist for a soldier, and never see my dear Toad Hall any more!"
"Then it’s all over," cried the Toad, weeping into the sofa cushions. "I’ll go and sign up to be a soldier, and I’ll never see my beloved Toad Hall again!"
"Come, cheer up, Toady!" said the Badger. "There are more ways of getting back a place [Pg 310] than taking it by storm. I haven't said my last word yet. Now I'm going to tell you a great secret."
"Come on, cheer up, Toady!" said the Badger. "There are more ways to get back a place than just attacking it. I haven't said my final word yet. Now I'm going to share a big secret with you."
Toad sat up slowly and dried his eyes. Secrets had an immense attraction for him, because he never could keep one, and he enjoyed the sort of unhallowed thrill he experienced when he went and told another animal, after having faithfully promised not to.
Toad sat up slowly and wiped his eyes. Secrets fascinated him immensely because he could never keep one, and he loved the kind of forbidden thrill he felt when he went and told another animal after having promised not to.
"There—is—an—underground—passage," said the Badger, impressively, "that leads from the river-bank, quite near here, right up into the middle of Toad Hall."
"There’s an underground passage," said the Badger, impressively, "that goes from the riverbank, really close to here, all the way into the heart of Toad Hall."
"O, nonsense! Badger," said Toad, rather airily. "You've been listening to some of the yarns they spin in the public-houses about here. I know every inch of Toad Hall, inside and out. Nothing of the sort, I do assure you!"
"O, come on! Badger," said Toad, somewhat dismissively. "You've been hearing some of the stories they tell in the pubs around here. I know every part of Toad Hall, inside and out. I promise you, that's not true!"
"My young friend," said the Badger, with great severity, "your father, who was a worthy animal—a lot worthier than some others I know—was a particular friend of mine, and told me a great deal he wouldn't have dreamt [Pg 311] of telling you. He discovered that passage—he didn't make it, of course; that was done hundreds of years before he ever came to live there—and he repaired it and cleaned it out, because he thought it might come in useful some day, in case of trouble or danger; and he showed it to me. 'Don't let my son know about it,' he said. 'He's a good boy, but very light and volatile in character, and simply cannot hold his tongue. If he's ever in a real fix, and it would be of use to him, you may tell him about the secret passage; but not before.'"
"My young friend," said the Badger sternly, "your father, who was a remarkable animal—much better than some I know—was a close friend of mine, and shared a lot with me that he wouldn't have dreamed of telling you. He found that passage—he didn't create it, of course; that was done hundreds of years before he ever lived there—and he fixed it up and cleaned it out because he thought it might be useful someday in case of trouble or danger; and he showed it to me. 'Don't let my son know about it,' he said. 'He's a good boy, but very flighty and impulsive and just can't keep a secret. If he's ever in a real jam, and it would help him, you can tell him about the secret passage; but not before.'"
The other animals looked hard at Toad to see how he would take it. Toad was inclined to be sulky at first; but he brightened up immediately, like the good fellow he was.
The other animals stared at Toad to see how he would react. Toad felt a bit sullen at first; but he quickly perked up, like the good guy he was.
"Well, well," he said; "perhaps I am a bit of a talker. A popular fellow such as I am—my friends get round me—we chaff, we sparkle, we tell witty stories—and somehow my tongue gets wagging. I have the gift of conversation. I've been told I ought to have a salon, whatever that may be. Never mind. Go on, Badger. How's this passage of yours going to help us?"
"Well, well," he said. "Maybe I do talk a lot. A popular guy like me—my friends gather around, we joke, we shine, we share funny stories—and somehow I get carried away. I have a knack for conversation. People have told me I should host a salon, whatever that means. Anyway, go on, Badger. How's your passage going to help us?"
"I've found out a thing or two lately," continued the Badger. "I got Otter to disguise himself as a sweep and call at the back-door with brushes over his shoulder, asking for a job. There's going to be a big banquet to-morrow night. It's somebody's birthday—the Chief Weasel's, I believe—and all the weasels will be gathered together in the dining-hall, eating and drinking and laughing and carrying on, suspecting nothing. No guns, no swords, no sticks, no arms of any sort whatever!"
"I've learned a thing or two lately," the Badger said. "I had Otter dress up as a sweep and knock on the back door with brushes slung over his shoulder, asking for a job. There's going to be a big party tomorrow night. It's someone's birthday—the Chief Weasel's, I think—and all the weasels will be gathered in the dining hall, eating, drinking, laughing, and having a good time, completely unsuspecting. No guns, no swords, no sticks, no weapons of any kind!"
"But the sentinels will be posted as usual," remarked the Rat.
"But the guards will be stationed as usual," remarked the Rat.
"Exactly," said the Badger; "that is my point. The weasels will trust entirely to their excellent sentinels. And that is where the passage comes in. That very useful tunnel leads right up under the butler's pantry, next to the dining-hall!"
"Exactly," said the Badger; "that’s my point. The weasels will completely rely on their excellent sentinels. And that’s where the passage comes in. That very useful tunnel leads right up under the butler's pantry, next to the dining hall!"
"Aha! that squeaky board in the butler's pantry!" said Toad. "Now I understand it!"
"Aha! That squeaky board in the butler's pantry!" said Toad. "Now I get it!"
"We shall creep out quietly into the butler's pantry—" cried the Mole.
"We'll sneak out quietly into the butler's pantry—" shouted the Mole.
"—with our pistols and swords and sticks—" shouted the Rat. [Pg 313]
"—with our guns and swords and sticks—" shouted the Rat. [Pg 313]
"—and rush in upon them," said the Badger.
"—and rush in on them," said the Badger.
"—and whack 'em, and whack 'em, and whack 'em!" cried the Toad in ecstasy, running round and round the room, and jumping over the chairs.
"—and hit them, and hit them, and hit them!" shouted the Toad in excitement, running around the room and jumping over the chairs.
"Very well, then," said the Badger, resuming his usual dry manner, "our plan is settled, and there's nothing more for you to argue and squabble about. So, as it's getting very late, all of you go right off to bed at once. We will make all the necessary arrangements in the course of the morning to-morrow."
"Alright then," said the Badger, going back to his usual dry tone, "our plan is set, and there's nothing more for you to debate or fight over. Since it's getting quite late, you all need to head off to bed right now. We’ll take care of all the necessary arrangements tomorrow morning."
Toad, of course, went off to bed dutifully with the rest—he knew better than to refuse—though he was feeling much too excited to sleep. But he had had a long day, with many events crowded into it; and sheets and blankets were very friendly and comforting things, after plain straw, and not too much of it, spread on the stone floor of a draughty cell; and his head had not been many seconds on his pillow before he was snoring happily. Naturally, he dreamt a good deal; about roads that ran away from him just when he wanted them, and canals that [Pg 314] chased him and caught him, and a barge that sailed into the banqueting-hall with his week's washing, just as he was giving a dinner-party; and he was alone in the secret passage, pushing onwards, but it twisted and turned round and shook itself, and sat up on its end; yet somehow, at the last, he found himself back in Toad Hall, safe and triumphant, with all his friends gathered round about him, earnestly assuring him that he really was a clever Toad.
Toad, of course, went to bed like everyone else—he knew better than to refuse—even though he felt way too excited to sleep. But he had a long day, packed with a lot of activities; and sheets and blankets were much more welcoming and cozy than the plain straw, and not much of it, laid out on the stone floor of a cold cell; and it wasn’t long before he started snoring happily as soon as his head hit the pillow. Naturally, he had a lot of dreams; about roads that disappeared just when he wanted to take them, and canals that chased him and caught him, and a barge that sailed into the dining hall with his week’s laundry, just as he was hosting a dinner party; and he found himself alone in a secret passage, pushing forward, but it twisted and turned and shook itself, and sat up on its end; yet somehow, in the end, he found himself back in Toad Hall, safe and victorious, with all his friends gathered around him, earnestly telling him that he really was a clever Toad.
He slept till a late hour next morning, and by the time he got down he found that the other animals had finished their breakfast some time before. The Mole had slipped off somewhere by himself, without telling any one where he was going to. The Badger sat in the arm-chair, reading the paper, and not concerning himself in the slightest about what was going to happen that very evening. The Rat, on the other hand, was running round the room busily, with his arms full of weapons of every kind, distributing them in four little heaps on the floor, and saying excitedly under his breath, as he ran, "Here's-a-sword-for-the-Rat, here's-a-sword-for-the-Mole, [Pg 315] here's-a-sword-for-the-Toad, here's-a-sword-for-the-Badger! Here's-a-pistol-for-the-Rat, here's-a-pistol-for-the-Mole, here's-a-pistol-for-the-Toad, here's-a-pistol-for-the-Badger!" And so on, in a regular, rhythmical way, while the four little heaps gradually grew and grew.
He slept in late the next morning, and by the time he came downstairs, he discovered that the other animals had finished their breakfast a while ago. The Mole had quietly slipped away by himself without telling anyone where he was headed. The Badger was sitting in the armchair, reading the newspaper, completely unconcerned about what was going to happen that very evening. Meanwhile, the Rat was darting around the room, arms loaded with all sorts of weapons, making four little piles on the floor and excitedly muttering to himself, "Here's a sword for the Rat, here's a sword for the Mole, [Pg 315] here's a sword for the Toad, here's a sword for the Badger! Here's a pistol for the Rat, here's a pistol for the Mole, here's a pistol for the Toad, here's a pistol for the Badger!" And so on, in a steady, rhythmic manner, as the four little piles continued to grow.
"That's all very well, Rat," said the Badger presently, looking at the busy little animal over the edge of his newspaper; "I'm not blaming you. But just let us once get past the stoats, with those detestable guns of theirs, and I assure you we shan't want any swords or pistols. We four, with our sticks, once we're inside the dining-hall, why, we shall clear the floor of all the lot of them in five minutes. I'd have done the whole thing by myself, only I didn't want to deprive you fellows of the fun!"
"That all sounds good, Rat," said the Badger after a moment, glancing at the busy little animal over the edge of his newspaper. "I’m not blaming you. But once we get past the stoats and their annoying guns, I promise we won't need any swords or pistols. The four of us, with our sticks, once we're in the dining hall, will clear the place of all of them in five minutes. I could have handled the whole thing myself, but I didn't want to take away the fun from you guys!"
"It's as well to be on the safe side," said the Rat reflectively, polishing a pistol-barrel on his sleeve and looking along it.
"It's best to play it safe," said the Rat thoughtfully, shining a pistol barrel on his sleeve and aiming it.
The Toad, having finished his breakfast, picked up a stout stick and swung it vigorously, belabouring imaginary animals. "I'll learn 'em [Pg 316] to steal my house!" he cried. "I'll learn 'em, I'll learn 'em!"
The Toad finished his breakfast, picked up a thick stick, and swung it hard, hitting at imaginary animals. "I'll teach them to steal my house!" he shouted. "I'll teach them, I'll teach them!"
"Don't say 'learn 'em,' Toad," said the Rat, greatly shocked. "It's not good English."
"Don't say 'learn 'em,' Toad," said the Rat, clearly shocked. "That's not proper English."
"What are you always nagging at Toad for?" inquired the Badger, rather peevishly. "What's the matter with his English? It's the same what I use myself, and if it's good enough for me, it ought to be good enough for you!"
"What are you always nagging Toad about?" the Badger asked, a bit annoyingly. "What's wrong with his English? It's the same as mine, and if it's good enough for me, it should be good enough for you!"
"I'm very sorry," said the Rat humbly. "Only I think it ought to be 'teach 'em,' not 'learn 'em.'"
"I'm really sorry," the Rat said humbly. "I just think it should be 'teach 'em,' not 'learn 'em.'"
"But we don't want to teach 'em," replied the Badger. "We want to learn 'em—learn 'em, learn 'em! And what's more, we're going to do it, too!"
"But we don't want to teach them," replied the Badger. "We want to learn from them—learn from them, learn from them! And what's more, we're going to do it, too!"
"Oh, very well, have it your own way," said the Rat. He was getting rather muddled about it himself, and presently he retired into a corner, where he could be heard muttering, "Learn 'em, teach 'em, teach 'em, learn 'em!" till the Badger told him rather sharply to leave off.
"Oh, fine, do it your way," said the Rat. He was getting a bit confused about it himself, and soon he moved to a corner, where he could be heard mumbling, "Teach them, learn them, learn them, teach them!" until the Badger told him rather sternly to stop.
Presently the Mole came tumbling into the room, evidently very pleased with himself. [Pg 317] "I've been having such fun!" he began at once; "I've been getting a rise out of the stoats!"
Right then, the Mole barged into the room, clearly feeling pretty good about himself. [Pg 317] "I've been having a blast!" he started right away; "I've been getting a kick out of the stoats!"
"I hope you've been very careful, Mole?" said the Rat anxiously.
"I hope you've been really careful, Mole?" said the Rat nervously.
"I should hope so, too," said the Mole confidently. "I got the idea when I went into the kitchen, to see about Toad's breakfast being kept hot for him. I found that old washerwoman-dress that he came home in yesterday, hanging on a towel-horse before the fire. So I put it on, and the bonnet as well, and the shawl, and off I went to Toad Hall, as bold as you please. The sentries were on the look-out, of course, with their guns and their 'Who comes there?' and all the rest of their nonsense. 'Good morning, gentlemen!' says I, very respectful. 'Want any washing done to-day?' They looked at me very proud and stiff and haughty, and said, 'Go away, washerwoman! We don't do any washing on duty.' 'Or any other time?' says I. Ho, ho, ho! Wasn't I funny, Toad?"
"I really hope so too," said the Mole confidently. "I got the idea when I went into the kitchen to check if Toad's breakfast was being kept warm. I found that old washerwoman dress he came home in yesterday, hanging on a towel rack in front of the fire. So I put it on, along with the bonnet and shawl, and off I went to Toad Hall, as bold as you please. The guards were watching, of course, with their guns and their 'Who goes there?' and all that nonsense. 'Good morning, gentlemen!' I said, very respectfully. 'Need any laundry done today?' They looked at me very proudly, stiffly, and haughtily, and said, 'Go away, washerwoman! We don't do any laundry on duty.' 'Or any other time?' I replied. Ho, ho, ho! Wasn't I funny, Toad?"
"Poor, frivolous animal!" said Toad, very loftily. The fact is, he felt exceedingly jealous [Pg 318] of Mole for what he had just done. It was exactly what he would have liked to have done himself, if only he had thought of it first, and hadn't gone and overslept himself.
"Poor, silly animal!" Toad said, with a sense of superiority. The truth is, he felt really jealous of Mole for what he had just done. It was exactly what he would have wanted to do himself, if only he had thought of it first and hadn't ended up oversleeping. [Pg 318]
"Some of the stoats turned quite pink," continued the Mole, "and the Sergeant in charge, he said to me, very short, he said, 'Now run away, my good woman, run away! Don't keep my men idling and talking on their posts.' 'Run away?' says I; 'it won't be me that'll be running away, in a very short time from now!'"
"Some of the stoats turned a bit pink," the Mole continued, "and the Sergeant in charge said to me, pretty bluntly, 'Now go on, my good woman, go on! Don’t let my men just stand around chatting at their posts.' 'Go on?' I said; 'it won’t be me running away, not for much longer!'"
"O Moly, how could you?" said the Rat, dismayed.
"O Moly, how could you?" said the Rat, disappointed.
The Badger laid down his paper.
The Badger put down his paper.
"I could see them pricking up their ears and looking at each other," went on the Mole; "and the Sergeant said to them, 'Never mind her; she doesn't know what she's talking about.'"
"I could see them perking up their ears and glancing at each other," continued the Mole; "and the Sergeant told them, 'Forget about her; she doesn't know what she's saying.'"
"'O! don't I?' said I. 'Well, let me tell you this. My daughter, she washes for Mr. Badger, and that'll show you whether I know what I'm talking about; and you'll know pretty [Pg 319] soon, too! A hundred bloodthirsty badgers, armed with rifles, are going to attack Toad Hall this very night, by way of the paddock. Six boatloads of Rats, with pistols and cutlasses, will come up the river and effect a landing in the garden; while a picked body of Toads, known as the Die-hards, or the Death-or-Glory Toads, will storm the orchard and carry everything before them, yelling for vengeance. There won't be much left of you to wash, by the time they've done with you, unless you clear out while you have the chance!' Then I ran away, and when I was out of sight I hid; and presently I came creeping back along the ditch and took a peep at them through the hedge. They were all as nervous and flustered as could be, running all ways at once, and falling over each other, and every one giving orders to everybody else and not listening; and the Sergeant kept sending off parties of stoats to distant parts of the grounds, and then sending other fellows to fetch 'em back again; and I heard them saying to each other, 'That's just like the weasels; they're to stop comfortably in the [Pg 320] banqueting-hall, and have feasting and toasts and songs and all sorts of fun, while we must stay on guard in the cold and the dark, and in the end be cut to pieces by bloodthirsty Badgers!'"
"'Oh, don’t I?' I said. 'Well, let me tell you this. My daughter washes for Mr. Badger, and that proves I know what I’m talking about; you'll find out soon enough, too! A hundred angry badgers armed with rifles are going to attack Toad Hall tonight, coming through the paddock. Six boatloads of rats, carrying pistols and swords, will come up the river and land in the garden; while a select group of Toads, known as the Die-hards or the Death-or-Glory Toads, will storm the orchard and take everything by force, shouting for revenge. There won’t be much left for you to wash once they’re done with you, unless you get out while you still can!' Then I ran away, and once I was out of sight, I hid; and soon I crept back along the ditch and peeked at them through the hedge. They were all as nervous and flustered as could be, running every which way, tripping over each other, with everyone giving orders to everyone else and not listening; and the Sergeant kept sending groups of stoats to distant parts of the grounds, then sending more to bring them back; and I heard them saying to one another, 'That’s just like the weasels; they’re going to stay comfortably in the banqueting hall, having feasts, toasts, songs, and all sorts of fun while we have to stick around in the cold and dark, only to end up being sliced to pieces by those ruthless badgers!'"
"Oh, you silly ass, Mole!" cried Toad, "You've been and spoilt everything!"
"Oh, you silly fool, Mole!" Toad shouted, "You've gone and ruined everything!"
"Mole," said the Badger, in his dry, quiet way, "I perceive you have more sense in your little finger than some other animals have in the whole of their fat bodies. You have managed excellently, and I begin to have great hopes of you. Good Mole! Clever Mole!"
"Mole," said the Badger, in his dry, quiet way, "I see you have more sense in your little finger than some other animals have in their whole fat bodies. You've done an excellent job, and I'm starting to have high hopes for you. Good Mole! Clever Mole!"
The Toad was simply wild with jealousy, more especially as he couldn't make out for the life of him what the Mole had done that was so particularly clever; but, fortunately for him, before he could show temper or expose himself to the Badger's sarcasm, the bell rang for luncheon.
The Toad was totally consumed by jealousy, especially since he couldn't figure out for the life of him what the Mole had done that was so smart; but luckily for him, before he could lose his cool or get hit with the Badger's sarcasm, the bell rang for lunch.
It was a simple but sustaining meal—bacon and broad beans, and a macaroni pudding; and when they had quite done, the Badger settled himself into an arm-chair, and said, "Well, [Pg 321] we've got our work cut out for us to-night, and it will probably be pretty late before we're quite through with it; so I'm just going to take forty winks, while I can." And he drew a handkerchief over his face and was soon snoring.
It was a simple but satisfying meal—bacon and broad beans, along with a macaroni pudding. Once they were finished, the Badger settled into an armchair and said, "Well, [Pg 321] we’ve got a lot of work to do tonight, and it’s likely to be pretty late before we’re done. So I’m just going to take a quick nap while I can." He pulled a handkerchief over his face and quickly started snoring.
The anxious and laborious Rat at once resumed his preparations, and started running between his four little heaps, muttering, "Here's-a-belt-for-the-Rat, here's-a-belt-for-the-Mole, here's-a-belt-for-the-Toad, here's-a-belt-for-the-Badger!" and so on, with every fresh accoutrement he produced, to which there seemed really no end; so the Mole drew his arm through Toad's, led him out into the open air, shoved him into a wicker chair, and made him tell him all his adventures from beginning to end, which Toad was only too willing to do. The Mole was a good listener, and Toad, with no one to check his statements or to criticise in an unfriendly spirit, rather let himself go. Indeed, much that he related belonged more properly to the category of what-might-have-happened-had-I-only-thought-of-it-in-time-instead-of-ten-minutes-afterwards. Those are always the best and the raciest adventures; and why should they not be truly ours, as much as the somewhat inadequate things that really come off? [Pg 322] [Pg 323]
The anxious and busy Rat immediately got back to his preparations, dashing between his four little piles and muttering, "Here's a belt for the Rat, here's a belt for the Mole, here's a belt for the Toad, here's a belt for the Badger!" and so on, with every new item he found, which seemed to have no end. So the Mole linked his arm through Toad's, led him out into the fresh air, sat him down in a wicker chair, and made him share all his adventures from start to finish, which Toad was more than happy to do. The Mole was a great listener, and without anyone to challenge his stories or criticize him harshly, Toad really let loose. In fact, much of what he talked about fit better into the category of what-might-have-happened-if-I'd-only-thought-of-it-sooner-instead-of-ten-minutes-later. Those are always the best and most exciting tales; and why shouldn't they be just as much ours as the somewhat disappointing things that actually happen? [Pg 322] [Pg 323]
WHEN it began to grow dark, the Rat, with an air of excitement and mystery, summoned them back into the parlour, stood each of them up alongside of his little heap, and proceeded to dress them up for the coming expedition. He was very earnest and thorough-going about it, and the affair took quite a long time. First, there was a belt to go round each animal, and then a sword to be stuck into each belt, and then a cutlass on the other side to balance it. Then a pair of pistols, a policeman's truncheon, several sets of handcuffs, some bandages and sticking-plaster, and a flask and a sandwich-case. The Badger laughed good-humouredly and said, "All right, Ratty! It amuses you and it doesn't hurt me. I'm going to do all I've got to do with this here stick." But the Rat only said, "Please, Badger. You know [Pg 326] I shouldn't like you to blame me afterwards and say I had forgotten anything!"
WHEN it started to get dark, the Rat, filled with excitement and a sense of mystery, called everyone back into the living room, lined them up next to their little piles of gear, and began to get them ready for the upcoming adventure. He was very serious about it, taking his time to make sure everything was just right. First, he put a belt on each animal, then a sword into each belt, and a cutlass on the other side to balance it out. Next came a pair of pistols, a policeman's baton, several sets of handcuffs, some bandages, adhesive tape, a flask, and a lunchbox. The Badger chuckled good-naturedly and said, "Alright, Ratty! You enjoy this, and it doesn't bother me. I'll handle everything I need to with this stick." But the Rat just replied, "Please, Badger. You know I wouldn't want you to blame me later and say I had forgotten anything!"
When all was quite ready, the Badger took a dark lantern in one paw, grasped his great stick with the other, and said, "Now then, follow me! Mole first, 'cos I'm very pleased with him; Rat next; Toad last. And look here, Toady! Don't you chatter so much as usual, or you'll be sent back, as sure as fate!"
When everything was ready, the Badger grabbed a dark lantern in one hand and his big stick in the other and said, "Alright, follow me! Mole goes first because I’m really pleased with him; Rat next; Toad last. And listen here, Toad! Don’t talk as much as you usually do, or you’ll definitely be sent back!"
The Toad was so anxious not to be left out that he took up the inferior position assigned to him without a murmur, and the animals set off. The Badger led them along by the river for a little way, and then suddenly swung himself over the edge into a hole in the river bank, a little above the water. The Mole and the Rat followed silently, swinging themselves successfully into the hole as they had seen the Badger do; but when it came to Toad's turn, of course he managed to slip and fall into the water with a loud splash and a squeal of alarm. He was hauled out by his friends, rubbed down and wrung out hastily, comforted, and set on his legs; but the Badger was seriously angry, [Pg 327] and told him that the very next time he made a fool of himself he would most certainly be left behind.
The Toad was so eager not to be excluded that he took on the lesser role given to him without complaining, and the animals set off. The Badger led them along the river for a short distance, then suddenly jumped over the edge into a hole in the riverbank, just above the water. The Mole and the Rat followed quietly, managing to swing themselves successfully into the hole like the Badger had; but when it was Toad's turn, he of course slipped and fell into the water with a loud splash and a squeal of panic. His friends pulled him out, quickly rubbed him down and wrung him out, comforted him, and got him back on his feet; but the Badger was really upset and told him that the next time he made a fool of himself, he would definitely be left behind. [Pg 327]

So at last they were in the secret passage, and the cutting-out expedition had really begun!
So finally they were in the secret passage, and the mission had truly started!
It was cold, and dark, and damp, and low, and narrow, and poor Toad began to shiver, partly from dread of what might be before him, partly because he was wet through. The lantern was far ahead, and he could not help lagging behind a little in the darkness. Then he heard the Rat call out warningly, "Come on, Toad!" and a terror seized him of being left behind, alone in the darkness, and he "came on" with such a rush that he upset the Rat into the Mole, and the Mole into the Badger, and for a moment all was confusion. The Badger thought they were being attacked from behind, and, as there was no room to use a stick or a cutlass, drew a pistol, and was on the point of putting a bullet into Toad. When he found out what had really happened he was very angry indeed, and said, "Now this time that tiresome Toad shall be left behind!" [Pg 328]
It was cold, dark, damp, low, and narrow, and poor Toad started to shiver, partly out of fear of what might be ahead, and partly because he was soaked. The lantern was far ahead, and he couldn’t help but fall behind a bit in the darkness. Then he heard the Rat call out warningly, "Come on, Toad!" and a wave of terror hit him at the thought of being left behind, alone in the dark, so he "came on" with such a rush that he knocked the Rat into the Mole, and the Mole into the Badger, causing a moment of chaos. The Badger thought they were being attacked from behind, and since there was no room to use a stick or a cutlass, he pulled out a pistol and was about to shoot Toad. When he realized what had actually happened, he was extremely angry and said, "Now this time that annoying Toad shall be left behind!" [Pg 328]
But Toad whimpered, and the other two promised that they would be answerable for his good conduct, and at last the Badger was pacified, and the procession moved on; only this time the Rat brought up the rear, with a firm grip on the shoulder of Toad.
But Toad whined, and the other two assured him that they would be responsible for his behavior. Eventually, the Badger calmed down, and the group continued on its way; this time, though, the Rat stayed at the back, holding onto Toad's shoulder tightly.
So they groped and shuffled along, with their ears pricked up and their paws on their pistols, till at last the Badger said, "We ought by now to be pretty nearly under the Hall."
So they stumbled along, alert and ready, with their ears perked up and their hands on their guns, until finally the Badger said, "We should be just about beneath the Hall now."
Then suddenly they heard, far away as it might be, and yet apparently nearly over their heads, a confused murmur of sound, as if people were shouting and cheering and stamping on the floor and hammering on tables. The Toad's nervous terrors all returned, but the Badger only remarked placidly, "They are going it, the weasels!"
Then suddenly they heard, even though it was far away, and yet seemed almost right above them, a disorganized buzz of noise, like people shouting, cheering, stomping on the floor, and banging on tables. The Toad's anxiety came rushing back, but the Badger just said calmly, "They are really going for it, the weasels!"
The passage now began to slope upwards; they groped onward a little further, and then the noise broke out again, quite distinct this time, and very close above them. "Ooo-ray-oo-ray-oo-ray-ooray!" they heard, and the stamping of little feet on the floor, and the clinking [Pg 329] of glasses as little fists pounded on the table. "What a time they're having!" said the Badger. "Come on!" They hurried along the passage till it came to a full stop, and they found themselves standing under the trap-door that led up into the butler's pantry.
The hallway started to incline upward; they stumbled forward a bit more, and then the sound erupted again, much clearer this time, and really close above them. "Ooo-ray-oo-ray-oo-ray-ooray!" they heard, along with the sounds of tiny feet on the floor and the clinking [Pg 329] of glasses as small fists hit the table. "What a party they're having!" said the Badger. "Let’s go!" They rushed down the hallway until it ended, and they found themselves standing under the trapdoor that led up into the butler's pantry.
Such a tremendous noise was going on in the banqueting-hall that there was little danger of their being overheard. The Badger said, "Now, boys, all together!" and the four of them put their shoulders to the trap-door and heaved it back. Hoisting each other up, they found themselves standing in the pantry, with only a door between them and the banqueting-hall, where their unconscious enemies were carousing.
Such a huge noise was happening in the banquet hall that there was little chance of them being overheard. The Badger said, "Alright, guys, on three!" and the four of them pushed against the trap door and pulled it open. Helping each other up, they found themselves standing in the pantry, with just a door separating them from the banquet hall, where their unsuspecting enemies were partying.
The noise, as they emerged from the passage, was simply deafening. At last, as the cheering and hammering slowly subsided, a voice could be made out saying, "Well, I do not propose to detain you much longer"—(great applause)—"but before I resume my seat"—(renewed cheering)—"I should like to say one word about our kind host, Mr. Toad. We all know [Pg 330] Toad!"—(great laughter)—"Good Toad, modest Toad, honest Toad!" (shrieks of merriment).
The noise, as they came out of the passage, was absolutely deafening. Finally, as the cheering and clapping slowly faded, a voice could be heard saying, "Well, I’m not going to keep you much longer"—(big applause)—"but before I sit down again"—(more cheering)—"I’d like to say a word about our gracious host, Mr. Toad. We all know Toad!"—(huge laughter)—"Good Toad, humble Toad, honest Toad!" (roars of laughter).
"Only just let me get at him!" muttered Toad, grinding his teeth.
"Just let me get to him!" Toad grumbled, grinding his teeth.
"Hold hard a minute!" said the Badger, restraining him with difficulty. "Get ready, all of you!"
"Wait a second!" said the Badger, struggling to hold him back. "Get ready, everyone!"
"—Let me sing you a little song," went on the voice, "which I have composed on the subject of Toad"—(prolonged applause).
"—Let me sing you a little song," the voice continued, "that I've made about Toad"—(prolonged applause).
Then the Chief Weasel—for it was he—began in a high, squeaky voice—
Then the Chief Weasel—because it was him—started with a high, squeaky voice—
Cheerfully down the street—"
The Badger drew himself up, took a firm grip of his stick with both paws, glanced round at his comrades, and cried—
The Badger straightened up, gripped his stick firmly with both paws, looked around at his friends, and shouted—
"The hour is come! Follow me!"
"The time has come! Follow me!"
And flung the door open wide.
And threw the door wide open.
My!
Wow!
What a squealing and a squeaking and a screeching filled the air!
What a squealing, squeaking, and screeching filled the air!
Well might the terrified weasels dive under [Pg 331] the tables and spring madly up at the windows! Well might the ferrets rush wildly for the fireplace and get hopelessly jammed in the chimney! Well might tables and chairs be upset, and glass and china be sent crashing on the floor, in the panic of that terrible moment when the four Heroes strode wrathfully into the room! The mighty Badger, his whiskers bristling, his great cudgel whistling through the air; Mole, black and grim, brandishing his stick and shouting his awful war-cry, "A Mole! A Mole!" Rat, desperate and determined, his belt bulging with weapons of every age and every variety; Toad, frenzied with excitement and injured pride, swollen to twice his ordinary size, leaping into the air and emitting Toad-whoops that chilled them to the marrow! "Toad he went a-pleasuring!" he yelled. "I'll pleasure 'em!" and he went straight for the Chief Weasel. They were but four in all, but to the panic-stricken weasels the hall seemed full of monstrous animals, grey, black, brown and yellow, whooping and flourishing enormous cudgels; and they broke and fled with squeals of [Pg 332] terror and dismay, this way and that, through the windows, up the chimney, anywhere to get out of reach of those terrible sticks.
The terrified weasels could definitely dive under [Pg 331] the tables and frantically leap at the windows! The ferrets might rush wildly to the fireplace and get hopelessly stuck in the chimney! Tables and chairs could easily get knocked over, and glass and china would crash to the floor in the panic of that awful moment when the four Heroes stormed into the room! The mighty Badger, his whiskers bristling, swinging his large cudgel through the air; Mole, dark and fierce, waving his stick and shouting his terrifying battle cry, "A Mole! A Mole!" Rat, desperate and determined, his belt stuffed with weapons of all kinds; Toad, buzzing with excitement and wounded pride, puffed up to twice his usual size, jumping into the air and letting out Toad-yells that sent chills down their spines! "Toad he went a-pleasuring!" he yelled. "I'll pleasure 'em!" and he charged straight for the Chief Weasel. There were only four of them, but to the terrified weasels, the hall felt packed with monstrous creatures—grey, black, brown, and yellow—whooping and swinging giant cudgels; and they scattered and fled with squeals of [Pg 332] terror and dismay, in every direction, through the windows, up the chimney, anywhere to escape those terrifying sticks.
The affair was soon over. Up and down, the whole length of the hall, strode the four Friends, whacking with their sticks at every head that showed itself; and in five minutes the room was cleared. Through the broken windows the shrieks of terrified weasels escaping across the lawn were borne faintly to their ears; on the floor lay prostrate some dozen or so of the enemy, on whom the Mole was busily engaged in fitting handcuffs. The Badger, resting from his labours, leant on his stick and wiped his honest brow.
The commotion was quickly over. The four Friends walked the entire length of the hall, swinging their sticks at every head that popped up; in just five minutes, the room was empty. The distant screams of terrified weasels fleeing across the lawn reached their ears through the broken windows; scattered on the floor were a dozen or so of the enemies, whom the Mole was busy putting handcuffs on. The Badger, taking a break from his work, leaned on his stick and wiped his brow.
"Mole," he said, "you're the best of fellows! Just cut along outside and look after those stoat-sentries of yours, and see what they're doing. I've an idea that, thanks to you, we shan't have much trouble from them to-night!"
"Mole," he said, "you're the best! Just head outside and keep an eye on those stoat guards of yours, and check out what they're up to. I have a feeling that, thanks to you, we won't have much trouble from them tonight!"
The Mole vanished promptly through a window; and the Badger bade the other two set a table on its legs again, pick up knives and forks and plates and glasses from the débris on the [Pg 333] floor, and see if they could find materials for a supper. "I want some grub, I do," he said, in that rather common way he had of speaking. "Stir your stumps, Toad, and look lively! We've got your house back for you, and you don't offer us so much as a sandwich."
The Mole quickly slipped out through a window, and the Badger told the other two to set the table back up, pick up knives, forks, plates, and glasses from the mess on the [Pg 333] floor, and see if they could find anything for dinner. "I'm really hungry," he said in his usual way. "Hurry up, Toad, and get moving! We got your house back for you, and you don’t even offer us a sandwich."
Toad felt rather hurt that the Badger didn't say pleasant things to him, as he had to the Mole, and tell him what a fine fellow he was, and how splendidly he had fought; for he was rather particularly pleased with himself and the way he had gone for the Chief Weasel and sent him flying across the table with one blow of his stick. But he bustled about, and so did the Rat, and soon they found some guava jelly in a glass dish, and a cold chicken, a tongue that had hardly been touched, some trifle, and quite a lot of lobster salad; and in the pantry they came upon a basketful of French rolls and any quantity of cheese, butter, and celery. They were just about to sit down when the Mole clambered in through the window, chuckling, with an armful of rifles.
Toad felt pretty hurt that the Badger didn't say nice things to him like he did to the Mole, or tell him what a great guy he was and how beautifully he had fought. He was especially proud of himself for taking on the Chief Weasel and knocking him across the table with one hit from his stick. But he busied himself, and so did the Rat, and soon they found some guava jelly in a glass dish, a cold chicken, a barely touched tongue, some dessert, and quite a bit of lobster salad. In the pantry, they discovered a basket full of French rolls and plenty of cheese, butter, and celery. They were just about to sit down when the Mole climbed in through the window, chuckling, with a bunch of rifles in his arms.
"It's all over," he reported. "From what I [Pg 334] can make out, as soon as the stoats, who were very nervous and jumpy already, heard the shrieks and the yells and the uproar inside the hall, some of them threw down their rifles and fled. The others stood fast for a bit, but when the weasels came rushing out upon them they thought they were betrayed; and the stoats grappled with the weasels, and the weasels fought to get away, and they wrestled and wriggled and punched each other, and rolled over and over, till most of 'em rolled into the river! They've all disappeared by now, one way or another; and I've got their rifles. So that's all right!"
"It's all over," he said. "From what I can tell, as soon as the stoats, who were already really nervous and on edge, heard the screams and chaos coming from inside the hall, some of them dropped their rifles and ran away. The others held their ground for a bit, but when the weasels came charging at them, they thought they had been betrayed; so the stoats grappled with the weasels, and the weasels fought to break free, wrestling and twisting, throwing punches and rolling over and over until most of them ended up in the river! They're all gone by now, one way or another; and I've got their rifles. So that’s all good!"
"Excellent and deserving animal!" said the Badger, his mouth full of chicken and trifle. "Now, there's just one more thing I want you to do, Mole, before you sit down to your supper along of us; and I wouldn't trouble you only I know I can trust you to see a thing done, and I wish I could say the same of every one I know. I'd send Rat, if he wasn't a poet. I want you to take those fellows on the floor there upstairs with you, and have some bedrooms cleaned [Pg 335] out and tidied up and made really comfortable. See that they sweep under the beds, and put clean sheets and pillow-cases on, and turn down one corner of the bed-clothes, just as you know it ought to be done; and have a can of hot water, and clean towels, and fresh cakes of soap, put in each room. And then you can give them a licking a-piece, if it's any satisfaction to you, and put them out by the back-door, and we shan't see any more of them, I fancy. And then come along and have some of this cold tongue. It's first rate. I'm very pleased with you, Mole!"
"Great and deserving animal!" said the Badger, his mouth full of chicken and cake. "Now, there’s just one more thing I need you to do, Mole, before you sit down to dinner with us; and I wouldn’t bother you with it if I didn’t know I could count on you to get it done, and I wish I could say the same about everyone else I know. I’d ask Rat, but he’s too much of a poet for this. I want you to take those guys upstairs and get some bedrooms cleaned out, tidied up, and made really comfortable. Make sure they sweep under the beds, put clean sheets and pillowcases on, and turn down one corner of the blankets, just the way you know it should be done; and have a can of hot water, clean towels, and fresh bars of soap in each room. Then you can give them each a good smack if that makes you feel better and kick them out the back door, and I don’t think we’ll see any more of them. After that, come back and enjoy some of this cold tongue. It's fantastic. I’m really happy with you, Mole!"
The good-natured Mole picked up a stick, formed his prisoners up in a line on the floor, gave them the order "Quick march!" and led his squad off to the upper floor. After a time, he appeared again, smiling, and said that every room was ready and as clean as a new pin. "And I didn't have to lick them, either," he added. "I thought, on the whole, they had had licking enough for one night, and the weasels, when I put the point to them, quite agreed with me, and said they wouldn't think of troubling [Pg 336] me. They were very penitent, and said they were extremely sorry for what they had done, but it was all the fault of the Chief Weasel and the stoats, and if ever they could do anything for us at any time to make up, we had only got to mention it. So I gave them a roll a-piece, and let them out at the back, and off they ran, as hard as they could!"
The friendly Mole picked up a stick, lined up his captives on the floor, gave the command "Quick march!" and led his group upstairs. After a while, he came back, smiling, and said that every room was ready and as clean as a whistle. "And I didn’t even have to clean them myself," he added. "I figured they had already had enough punishment for one night, and the weasels, when I brought it up, completely agreed with me and said they wouldn't bother me again. They felt really bad and apologized for their actions, but they claimed it was all the Chief Weasel’s and the stoats' fault, and if they could do anything to make it up to us at any time, we just had to ask. So I gave each of them a roll and let them out the back, and off they ran as fast as they could!"
Then the Mole pulled his chair up to the table, and pitched into the cold tongue; and Toad, like the gentleman he was, put all his jealousy from him, and said heartily, "Thank you kindly, dear Mole, for all your pains and trouble to-night, and especially for your cleverness this morning!" The Badger was pleased at that, and said, "There spoke my brave Toad!" So they finished their supper in great joy and contentment, and presently retired to rest between clean sheets, safe in Toad's ancestral home, won back by matchless valour, consummate strategy, and a proper handling of sticks.
Then the Mole pulled his chair up to the table and dug into the cold tongue. Toad, being the gentleman he was, pushed aside all his jealousy and said sincerely, "Thank you so much, dear Mole, for all your efforts and trouble tonight, and especially for your cleverness this morning!" The Badger was pleased to hear that and said, "There spoke my brave Toad!" So they finished their supper with great joy and contentment, and soon retired to rest between clean sheets, safe in Toad's family home, reclaimed through unmatched bravery, brilliant strategy, and a proper handling of sticks.
The following morning, Toad, who had overslept himself as usual, came down to breakfast disgracefully late, and found on the table a certain [Pg 337] quantity of egg-shells, some fragments of cold and leathery toast, a coffee-pot three-fourths empty, and really very little else; which did not tend to improve his temper, considering that, after all, it was his own house. Through the French windows of the breakfast-room he could see the Mole and the Water Rat sitting in wicker chairs out on the lawn, evidently telling each other stories; roaring with laughter and kicking their short legs up in the air. The Badger, who was in an arm-chair and deep in the morning paper, merely looked up and nodded when Toad entered the room. But Toad knew his man, so he sat down and made the best breakfast he could, merely observing to himself that he would get square with the others sooner or later. When he had nearly finished, the Badger looked up and remarked rather shortly: "I'm sorry, Toad, but I'm afraid there's a heavy morning's work in front of you. You see, we really ought to have a Banquet at once, to celebrate this affair. It's expected of you—in fact, it's the rule."
The next morning, Toad, who had once again slept in, came down to breakfast embarrassingly late and found on the table a few egg shells, some pieces of cold and tough toast, a coffee pot that was mostly empty, and not much else. This did nothing to improve his mood, especially since it was his own house. Through the French windows of the breakfast room, he could see the Mole and the Water Rat sitting together in wicker chairs on the lawn, clearly exchanging stories; they were laughing loudly and kicking their short legs in the air. The Badger, who was sitting in an armchair engrossed in the morning paper, just looked up and nodded when Toad walked in. But Toad knew him well, so he sat down and tried to make the most of his breakfast, reminding himself that he would eventually get back at the others. When he was nearly done, the Badger looked up and said somewhat curtly: "I'm sorry, Toad, but it looks like you have a lot of work ahead of you today. We really need to organize a Banquet right away to celebrate this event. It's expected of you—in fact, it's the rule."
"O, all right!" said the Toad, readily. "Anything to oblige. Though why on earth you should want to have a Banquet in the morning I cannot understand. But you know I do not live to please myself, but merely to find out what my friends want, and then try and arrange it for 'em, you dear old Badger!"
"Oh, fine!" said the Toad, readily. "Anything to help. Though I really don't understand why you would want to have a banquet in the morning. But you know I don't live for myself, I just like to figure out what my friends want and then try to make it happen for them, you dear old Badger!"
"Don't pretend to be stupider than you really are," replied the Badger, crossly; "and don't chuckle and splutter in your coffee while you're talking; it's not manners. What I mean is, the Banquet will be at night, of course, but the invitations will have to be written and got off at once, and you've got to write 'em. Now sit down at that table—there's stacks of letter-paper on it, with 'Toad Hall' at the top in blue and gold—and write invitations to all our friends, and if you stick to it we shall get them out before luncheon. And I'll bear a hand, too, and take my share of the burden. I'll order the Banquet."
"Don't act dumber than you really are," replied the Badger, angrily. "And stop snickering and spitting in your coffee while you're talking; it's rude. What I mean is, the Banquet will be at night, of course, but we need to write and send out the invitations right away, and you’re the one who has to do it. Now sit down at that table—there's plenty of letter paper on it, with 'Toad Hall' printed at the top in blue and gold—and write invitations to all our friends. If you focus, we can get them sent out before lunch. And I'll help out too and share the load. I'll take care of ordering the Banquet."
"What!" cried Toad, dismayed. "Me stop indoors and write a lot of rotten letters on a jolly morning like this, when I want to go around my property and set everything and [Pg 339] everybody to rights, and swagger about and enjoy myself! Certainly not! I'll be—I'll see you—Stop a minute, though! Why, of course, dear Badger! What is my pleasure or convenience compared with that of others! You wish it done, and it shall be done. Go, Badger, order the Banquet, order what you like; then join our young friends outside in their innocent mirth, oblivious of me and my cares and toils. I sacrifice this fair morning on the altar of duty and friendship!"
"What!" cried Toad, shocked. "Me stay inside and write a bunch of pointless letters on a beautiful morning like this, when I want to walk around my property and fix everything and everyone, strut around, and have a good time? Absolutely not! I'll be—I'll see you—Hold on a minute, though! Of course, dear Badger! What is my enjoyment or convenience compared to that of others! You want it done, and it will be done. Go, Badger, order the Banquet, order whatever you like; then go join our young friends outside in their innocent fun, unaware of me and my worries and struggles. I'm sacrificing this lovely morning for duty and friendship!"
The Badger looked at him very suspiciously, but Toad's frank, open countenance made it difficult to suggest any unworthy motive in this change of attitude. He quitted the room, accordingly, in the direction of the kitchen, and as soon as the door had closed behind him, Toad hurried to the writing-table. A fine idea had occurred to him while he was talking. He would write the invitations; and he would take care to mention the leading part he had taken in the fight, and how he had laid the Chief Weasel flat; and he would hint at his adventures, and what a career of triumph he had to [Pg 340] tell about; and on the fly-leaf he would set out a sort of a programme of entertainment for the evening—something like this, as he sketched it out in his head:—
The Badger looked at him very suspiciously, but Toad's honest, open face made it hard to imply any dishonest motive behind this change of attitude. So, he left the room, heading toward the kitchen, and as soon as the door closed behind him, Toad rushed to the writing desk. A great idea had come to him while they were talking. He would write the invitations, and he would make sure to highlight the key role he had played in the fight and how he had knocked the Chief Weasel down; he would tease about his adventures and share what an amazing journey he had to tell about; and on the first page, he would present a sort of schedule for the evening's entertainment—something like this, as he imagined it in his mind:— [Pg 340]
Talk By Toad. (There will be more speeches by Toad throughout the evening.) Address By Toad Summary—Our Prison System—the Waterways of Old England—Horse trading and how to handle it—Property, its rights and responsibilities—Back to the Land—A Typical English Landowner. Track By Toad. (Written by himself.) Other Works By Toad will be performed during the evening by the Music creator.
The idea pleased him mightily, and he worked very hard and got all the letters finished by noon, at which hour it was reported to him that there was a small and rather bedraggled weasel at the door, inquiring timidly whether he could be of any service to the gentleman. Toad swaggered out and found it was one of the [Pg 341] prisoners of the previous evening, very respectful and anxious to please. He patted him on the head, shoved the bundle of invitations into his paw, and told him to cut along quick and deliver them as fast as he could, and if he liked to come back again in the evening, perhaps there might be a shilling for him, or, again, perhaps there mightn't; and the poor weasel seemed really quite grateful, and hurried off eagerly to do his mission.
The idea really excited him, and he worked hard to finish all the letters by noon. At that time, he was informed that there was a small, scruffy weasel at the door, timidly asking if he could help the gentleman. Toad swaggered out and realized it was one of the prisoners from the previous night, very respectful and eager to please. He gave the weasel a pat on the head, handed him the bundle of invitations, and told him to hurry off and deliver them as quickly as he could. He added that if the weasel wanted to come back in the evening, there might be a shilling for him, or maybe not; and the poor weasel seemed genuinely grateful and rushed off to complete his task.
When the other animals came back to luncheon, very boisterous and breezy after a morning on the river, the Mole, whose conscience had been pricking him, looked doubtfully at Toad, expecting to find him sulky or depressed. Instead, he was so uppish and inflated that the Mole began to suspect something; while the Rat and the Badger exchanged significant glances.
When the other animals returned for lunch, loud and cheerful after a morning on the river, the Mole, feeling a bit guilty, looked curiously at Toad, expecting to see him moody or down. Instead, Toad was so arrogant and full of himself that the Mole started to get suspicious; meanwhile, the Rat and the Badger shared knowing looks.
As soon as the meal was over, Toad thrust his paws deep into his trouser-pockets, remarked casually, "Well, look after yourselves, you fellows! Ask for anything you want!" and was swaggering off in the direction of the garden, where he wanted to think out an idea or [Pg 342] two for his coming speeches, when the Rat caught him by the arm.
As soon as the meal ended, Toad shoved his hands deep into his pants pockets and said casually, "Well, take care of yourselves, guys! Just ask for anything you need!" He was strutting off toward the garden, where he wanted to come up with an idea or two for his upcoming speeches, when the Rat grabbed him by the arm.
Toad rather suspected what he was after, and did his best to get away; but when the Badger took him firmly by the other arm he began to see that the game was up. The two animals conducted him between them into the small smoking-room that opened out of the entrance-hall, shut the door, and put him into a chair. Then they both stood in front of him, while Toad sat silent and regarded them with much suspicion and ill-humour.
Toad had a pretty good idea of what they were up to and tried to escape, but when the Badger grabbed him by the other arm, he realized he was stuck. The two animals guided him into the small smoking room that was connected to the entrance hall, shut the door, and forced him into a chair. They both stood in front of him while Toad sat quietly, watching them with a lot of suspicion and irritation.
"Now, look here, Toad," said the Rat. "It's about this Banquet, and very sorry I am to have to speak to you like this. But we want you to understand clearly, once and for all, that there are going to be no speeches and no songs. Try and grasp the fact that on this occasion we're not arguing with you; we're just telling you."
"Now, listen up, Toad," said the Rat. "It's about this Banquet, and I'm really sorry to have to talk to you like this. But we need you to clearly understand, once and for all, that there will be no speeches and no songs. Try to get that on this occasion we're not debating with you; we're just letting you know."
Toad saw that he was trapped. They understood him, they saw through him, they had got ahead of him. His pleasant dream was shattered. [Pg 343]
Toad realized he was cornered. They understood him, saw right through him, and had outsmarted him. His nice dream was broken. [Pg 343]
"Mayn't I sing them just one little song?" he pleaded piteously.
"Can’t I sing them just one little song?" he begged sadly.
"No, not one little song," replied the Rat firmly, though his heart bled as he noticed the trembling lip of the poor disappointed Toad. "It's no good, Toady; you know well that your songs are all conceit and boasting and vanity; and your speeches are all self-praise and—and—well, and gross exaggeration and—and—"
"No, not one little song," replied the Rat firmly, though he felt a pang in his heart as he saw the trembling lip of the disappointed Toad. "It's no use, Toady; you know your songs are just filled with conceit and bragging and vanity; and your speeches are all about self-promotion and—and—well, just gross exaggeration and—and—"
"And gas," put in the Badger, in his common way.
"And gas," added the Badger, as he usually does.
"It's for your own good, Toady," went on the Rat. "You know you must turn over a new leaf sooner or later, and now seems a splendid time to begin; a sort of turning-point in your career. Please don't think that saying all this doesn't hurt me more than it hurts you."
"It's for your own good, Toady," the Rat continued. "You know you *have* to change your ways sooner or later, and now seems like a great time to start; a sort of turning point in your life. Please don't think that saying all this doesn't hurt me more than it hurts you."
Toad remained a long while plunged in thought. At last he raised his head, and the traces of strong emotion were visible on his features. "You have conquered, my friends," he said in broken accents. "It was, to be sure, but a small thing that I asked—merely leave [Pg 344] to blossom and expand for yet one more evening, to let myself go and hear the tumultuous applause that always seems to me—somehow—to bring out my best qualities. However, you are right, I know, and I am wrong. Henceforth I will be a very different Toad. My friends, you shall never have occasion to blush for me again. But, O dear, O dear, this is a hard world!"
Toad sat lost in thought for a long time. Finally, he lifted his head, and you could see the signs of strong emotion on his face. "You’ve won, my friends," he said with a shaky voice. "It was really just a small thing I asked for—simply to bloom and shine for one more evening, to let myself go and enjoy the wild applause that always seems to bring out my best side. But you’re right, and I’m wrong. From now on, I’ll be a totally different Toad. My friends, you won’t have to be embarrassed by me again. But, oh dear, oh dear, this world is tough!"
And, pressing his handkerchief to his face, he left the room, with faltering footsteps.
And, pressing his handkerchief to his face, he left the room, with unsteady footsteps.
"Badger," said the Rat, "I feel like a brute; I wonder what you feel like?"
"Badger," said the Rat, "I feel like a jerk; I wonder how you feel?"
"O, I know, I know," said the Badger gloomily. "But the thing had to be done. This good fellow has got to live here, and hold his own, and be respected. Would you have him a common laughing-stock, mocked and jeered at by stoats and weasels?"
"O, I get it, I get it," said the Badger sadly. "But it had to happen. This good guy needs to live here, stand his ground, and earn respect. Would you want him to be a total joke, made fun of and ridiculed by stoats and weasels?"
"Of course not," said the Rat. "And, talking of weasels, it's lucky we came upon that little weasel, just as he was setting out with Toad's invitations. I suspected something from what you told me, and had a look at one or two; they were simply disgraceful. I confiscated the [Pg 345] lot, and the good Mole is now sitting in the blue boudoir, filling up plain, simple invitation cards."
"Of course not," said the Rat. "And speaking of weasels, it was lucky we ran into that little weasel just as he was heading off with Toad's invitations. I had a feeling about it from what you told me, so I checked a couple of them; they were just disgraceful. I took them all, and now the good Mole is sitting in the blue boudoir, filling out plain, simple invitation cards."
At last the hour for the banquet began to draw near, and Toad, who on leaving the others had retired to his bedroom, was still sitting there, melancholy and thoughtful. His brow resting on his paw, he pondered long and deeply. Gradually his countenance cleared, and he began to smile long, slow smiles. Then he took to giggling in a shy, self-conscious manner. At last he got up, locked the door, drew the curtains across the windows, collected all the chairs in the room and arranged them in a semicircle, and took up his position in front of them, swelling visibly. Then he bowed, coughed twice, and, letting himself go, with uplifted voice he sang, to the enraptured audience that his imagination so clearly saw: [Pg 346]
At last, the time for the banquet was approaching, and Toad, who had gone to his bedroom after leaving the others, was still sitting there, feeling sad and lost in thought. Resting his forehead on his paw, he pondered for a long time. Gradually, his expression brightened, and he began to smile slow, lingering smiles. Then he started giggling in a shy, awkward way. Finally, he stood up, locked the door, drew the curtains, collected all the chairs in the room and arranged them in a semicircle, and positioned himself in front of them, visibly puffing up with pride. Then he bowed, coughed twice, and, letting himself go, with an elevated voice he sang for the captivated audience that his imagination so vividly envisioned: [Pg 346]
There was chaos in the living rooms and shouting in the hallways,
There was crying in the cow sheds and screaming in the stalls,
When the Toad came home!
There was urging of weasels that collapsed on the floor,
When the Toad came home!
The trumpeters are playing and the soldiers are saluting,
And the cannon is firing and the cars are honking,
Here comes the hero!
And let everyone in the crowd try to shout it really loud,
In honor of an animal you’re rightfully proud of,
It's Toad's awesome day!
He sang this very loud, with great unction and expression; and when he had done, he sang it all over again.
He sang this really loud, with a lot of emotion and feeling; and when he was finished, he sang it all over again.
Then he heaved a deep sigh; a long, long, long sigh. [Pg 347]
Then he let out a deep sigh; a long, long, long sigh. [Pg 347]
Then he dipped his hairbrush in the water-jug, parted his hair in the middle, and plastered it down very straight and sleek on each side of his face; and, unlocking the door, went quietly down the stairs to greet his guests, who he knew must be assembling in the drawing-room.
Then he dipped his hairbrush in the water jug, parted his hair down the middle, and slicked it down flat on either side of his face. Unlocking the door, he quietly went down the stairs to greet his guests, who he knew must be gathering in the living room.
All the animals cheered when he entered, and crowded round to congratulate him and say nice things about his courage, and his cleverness, and his fighting qualities; but Toad only smiled faintly, and murmured, "Not at all!" Or, sometimes, for a change, "On the contrary!" Otter, who was standing on the hearthrug, describing to an admiring circle of friends exactly how he would have managed things had he been there, came forward with a shout, threw his arm round Toad's neck, and tried to take him round the room in triumphal progress; but Toad, in a mild way, was rather snubby to him, remarking gently, as he disengaged himself, "Badger's was the master mind; the Mole and the Water Rat bore the brunt of the fighting; I merely served in the ranks and did little or [Pg 348] nothing." The animals were evidently puzzled and taken aback by this unexpected attitude of his; and Toad felt, as he moved from one guest to the other, making his modest responses, that he was an object of absorbing interest to every one.
All the animals cheered when he walked in and crowded around to congratulate him and say nice things about his bravery, intelligence, and fighting skills; but Toad only smiled faintly and said, "Not at all!" Or sometimes, to mix it up, "On the contrary!" Otter, who was standing on the rug, was telling an admiring group of friends exactly how he would have handled things if he had been there. He came forward with a shout, threw his arm around Toad's neck, and tried to lead him around the room in a victory parade; but Toad, in a gentle way, was kind of dismissive to him, saying softly, as he slipped out of his grasp, "Badger had the brilliant plan; Mole and Water Rat did most of the fighting; I just served in the ranks and did very little." The animals were clearly confused and taken aback by his unexpected attitude; and Toad felt, as he moved from one guest to another, making his humble responses, that he was the center of everyone's attention.
The Badger had ordered everything of the best, and the banquet was a great success. There was much talking and laughter and chaff among the animals, but through it all Toad, who of course was in the chair, looked down his nose and murmured pleasant nothings to the animals on either side of him. At intervals he stole a glance at the Badger and the Rat, and always when he looked they were staring at each other with their mouths open; and this gave him the greatest satisfaction. Some of the younger and livelier animals, as the evening wore on, got whispering to each other that things were not so amusing as they used to be in the good old days; and there were some knockings on the table and cries of "Toad! Speech! Speech from Toad! Song! Mr. Toad's song!" But Toad only shook his head gently, [Pg 349] raised one paw in mild protest, and, by pressing delicacies on his guests, by topical small-talk, and by earnest inquiries after members of their families not yet old enough to appear at social functions, managed to convey to them that this dinner was being run on strictly conventional lines.
The Badger had arranged everything perfectly, and the banquet was a huge success. There was plenty of chatting, laughing, and teasing among the animals, but throughout it all, Toad, who was in charge, looked down his nose and murmured pleasant comments to the animals on either side of him. Occasionally, he sneaked a glance at the Badger and the Rat, and every time he looked, they were staring at each other with their mouths open; this gave him great satisfaction. As the evening went on, some of the younger and more energetic animals started whispering to one another that things weren’t as fun as they used to be in the good old days; there were calls for "Toad! Speech! Speech from Toad! Song! Mr. Toad's song!" But Toad simply shook his head gently, raised one paw in mild protest, and by offering treats to his guests, engaging in light conversation, and asking after relatives who weren’t old enough to join social events yet, managed to make it clear that this dinner was being held according to strict traditional standards.
He was indeed an altered Toad!
He was truly a changed Toad!
After this climax, the four animals continued to lead their lives, so rudely broken in upon by civil war, in great joy and contentment, undisturbed by further risings or invasions. Toad, after due consultation with his friends, selected a handsome gold chain and locket set with pearls, which he dispatched to the gaoler's daughter, with a letter that even the Badger admitted to be modest, grateful, and appreciative; and the engine-driver, in his turn, was properly thanked and compensated for all his pains and trouble. Under severe compulsion from the Badger, even the barge-woman was, with some trouble, sought out and the value of [Pg 350] her horse discreetly made good to her; though Toad kicked terribly at this, holding himself to be an instrument of Fate, sent to punish fat women with mottled arms who couldn't tell a real gentleman when they saw one. The amount involved, it was true, was not very burdensome, the gipsy's valuation being admitted by local assessors to be approximately correct.
After this peak moment, the four animals went back to their lives, which had been so rudely interrupted by civil war, feeling great joy and contentment, undisturbed by any more uprisings or invasions. Toad, after discussing it with his friends, chose a beautiful gold chain and locket set with pearls, which he sent to the gaoler's daughter along with a letter that even the Badger agreed was modest, grateful, and appreciative; and the engine driver was properly thanked and compensated for all his efforts. Under heavy pressure from the Badger, they even managed to track down the barge-woman and discreetly made up the value of her horse; although Toad protested fiercely, believing himself to be an instrument of Fate, sent to punish overweight women with mottled arms who couldn't recognize a real gentleman when they saw one. It was true that the amount in question wasn’t very large, as the gypsy's valuation was confirmed by local assessors to be roughly accurate.
Sometimes, in the course of long summer evenings, the friends would take a stroll together in the Wild Wood, now successfully tamed so far as they were concerned; and it was pleasing to see how respectfully they were greeted by the inhabitants, and how the mother-weasels would bring their young ones to the mouths of their holes, and say, pointing, "Look, baby! There goes the great Mr. Toad! And that's the gallant Water Rat, a terrible fighter, walking along o' him! And yonder comes the famous Mr. Mole, of whom you so often have heard your father tell!" But when their infants were fractious and quite beyond control, they would quiet them by telling how, if they didn't hush them and not fret them, the terrible grey [Pg 351] Badger would up and get them. This was a base libel on Badger, who, though he cared little about Society, was rather fond of children; but it never failed to have its full effect. [Pg 352] [Pg 353]
Sometimes, during long summer evenings, the friends would take a walk together in the Wild Wood, which they had managed to tame as far as they were concerned; and it was nice to see how respectfully they were greeted by the locals, and how the mother weasels would bring their young ones to the entrances of their burrows and say, pointing, "Look, baby! There goes the great Mr. Toad! And that's the brave Water Rat, a fierce fighter, walking alongside him! And over there comes the famous Mr. Mole, whom you've often heard your father talk about!" But when their little ones were fussy and completely out of control, they would quiet them by saying that if they didn't settle down and stop whining, the scary grey Badger would come and get them. This was a terrible lie about Badger, who, although he wasn't very interested in socializing, actually liked kids; but it always had the desired effect.
The Wind in the Willows
The Wind in the Willows



Download ePUB
If you like this ebook, consider a donation!