This is a modern-English version of The Grey Woman and other Tales, originally written by Gaskell, Elizabeth Cleghorn. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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TITLE PAGE (THE GREY WOMAN AND OTHER TALES, by MRS GASKELL).
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THE GREY WOMAN

 

 

AND OTHER TALES.

 

By  MRS. GASKELL

AUTHOR OF "MARY BARTON," "NORTH AND SOUTH," "SYLVIA'S
LOVERS," "COUSIN PHILLIS," "CRANFORD," ETC.

 

ILLUSTRATED EDITION.

 

 

LONDON:
SMITH, ELDER AND CO., 65, CORNHILL.

M.DCCC.LXV.

 

[The Right of Translation is reserved.]

[i]All rights to translation are reserved.[/i]


 

 

CONTENTS

 

 


 

ILLUSTRATIONS

 


 

 

THE GREY WOMAN.

 

PORTION I.

PART I.

There is a mill by the Neckar-side, to which many people resort for coffee, according to the fashion which is almost national in Germany. There is nothing particularly attractive in the situation of this mill; it is on the Mannheim (the flat and unromantic) side of Heidelberg. The river turns the mill-wheel with a plenteous gushing sound; the out-buildings and the dwelling-house of the miller form a well-kept dusty quadrangle. Again, further from the river, there is a garden full of willows, and arbours, and flower-beds not well kept, but very profuse in flowers and luxuriant creepers, knotting and looping the arbours together. In each of these arbours is a stationary table of white painted wood, and light moveable chairs of the same colour and material.

There’s a mill by the Neckar River where a lot of people go for coffee, which is pretty much a national trend in Germany. The location of this mill isn’t particularly scenic; it’s on the flat and ordinary Mannheim side of Heidelberg. The river powers the mill wheel with a strong, rushing sound, and the outbuildings along with the miller’s house create a tidy, dusty courtyard. Further from the river, there’s a garden filled with willows, arbors, and flower beds that aren't very well maintained but are bursting with flowers and thriving vines that intertwine around the arbors. Each of these arbors has a fixed table made of white-painted wood, along with lightweight, movable chairs in the same color and material.

I went to drink coffee there with some friends in 184—. The stately old miller came out to greet us, as some of the party were known to him of old. He was of a grand build of a man, and his loud musical voice, with its tone friendly and familiar, his rolling laugh of welcome, went well with the keen bright eye, the fine cloth of his coat, and the general look of substance about the place. Poultry of all kinds abounded in the mill-yard, where there were ample means of livelihood for them strewed on the ground; but not content with this, the miller took out handfuls of corn from the sacks, and threw liberally to the cocks and hens that ran almost under his feet in their eagerness. And all the time he was doing this, as it were habitually, he was talking to us, and ever and anon calling to his daughter and the serving-maids, to bid them hasten the coffee we had ordered. He followed us to an arbour, and saw us served to his satisfaction with the best of everything we could ask for; and then left us to go round to the different arbours and see that each party was properly attended to; and, as he went, this great, prosperous, happy-looking man whistled softly one of the most plaintive airs I ever heard.

I went there to grab coffee with some friends in 184—. The impressive old miller came out to greet us since some of the group were familiar to him. He was a tall man with a strong build, and his loud, cheerful voice had a friendly and familiar tone. His hearty laugh of welcome matched his keen, bright eyes, the fine fabric of his coat, and the overall solid feel of the place. There were all kinds of poultry in the mill yard, where there were plenty of food scraps scattered around for them; but the miller wasn’t satisfied with just that—he took handfuls of corn from the sacks and generously tossed it to the eager chickens that ran right at his feet. While he did this almost automatically, he was also talking to us and occasionally calling to his daughter and the maids to hurry up with the coffee we had ordered. He followed us to a gazebo and made sure we were served everything we could possibly want. Then he went off to check on the other gazebos to make sure each group was well taken care of. As he walked away, this big, successful, happy-looking man softly whistled one of the saddest tunes I've ever heard.

"His family have held this mill ever since the old Palatinate days; or rather, I should say, have possessed the ground ever since then, for two successive mills of theirs have been burnt down by the French. If you want to see Scherer in a passion, just talk to him of the possibility of a French invasion."

"His family has owned this mill since the old Palatinate days; or rather, I should say, they have owned the land since then, as two consecutive mills of theirs have been burned down by the French. If you want to see Scherer get angry, just mention the possibility of a French invasion."

But at this moment, still whistling that mournful air, we saw the miller going down the steps that led from the somewhat raised garden into the mill-yard; and so I seemed to have lost my chance of putting him in a passion.

But at that moment, still whistling that sad tune, we saw the miller coming down the steps that led from the slightly elevated garden into the mill yard; and it felt like I had missed my opportunity to provoke him.

We had nearly finished our coffee, and our "kucken," and our cinnamon cake, when heavy splashes fell on our thick leafy covering; quicker and quicker they came, coming through the tender leaves as if they were tearing them asunder; all the people in the garden were hurrying under shelter, or seeking for their carriages standing outside. Up the steps the miller came hastening, with a crimson umbrella, fit to cover every one left in the garden, and followed by his daughter, and one or two maidens, each bearing an umbrella.

We had almost finished our coffee, our cake, and our cinnamon dessert when heavy raindrops started falling on our thick leafy canopy; they came faster and faster, crashing through the delicate leaves as if they were ripping them apart. Everyone in the garden rushed for cover or looked for their carriages parked outside. Up the steps came the miller, hurrying with a bright red umbrella big enough to shelter everyone left in the garden, followed by his daughter and a couple of young women, each carrying an umbrella.

"Come into the house—come in, I say. It is a summer-storm, and will flood the place for an hour or two, till the river carries it away. Here, here."

"Come into the house—come in, I say. It's a summer storm, and it will flood the place for an hour or two until the river carries it away. Here, here."

And we followed him back into his own house. We went into the kitchen first. Such an array of bright copper and tin vessels I never saw; and all the wooden things were as thoroughly scoured. The red tile floor was spotless when we went in, but in two minutes it was all over slop and dirt with the tread of many feet; for the kitchen was filled, and still the worthy miller kept bringing in more people under his great crimson umbrella. He even called the dogs in, and made them lie down under the tables.

And we followed him back to his house. We went into the kitchen first. I had never seen such a collection of shiny copper and tin pots; and all the wooden items were impeccably clean. The red tile floor was spotless when we entered, but within two minutes it was covered in mess and dirt from the many feet; the kitchen was packed, yet the kind miller kept bringing in more people under his huge red umbrella. He even called the dogs in and made them lie down under the tables.

His daughter said something to him in German, and he shook his head merrily at her. Everybody laughed.

His daughter said something to him in German, and he happily shook his head at her. Everyone laughed.

"What did she say?" I asked.

"What did she say?" I asked.

"She told him to bring the ducks in next; but indeed if more people come we shall be suffocated. What with the thundery weather, and the stove, and all these steaming clothes, I really think we must ask leave to pass on. Perhaps we might go in and see Frau Scherer."

"She told him to bring the ducks in next, but honestly, if more people come, we’re going to be suffocated. Between the stormy weather, the stove, and all these steaming clothes, I really think we should ask to move on. Maybe we could go in and see Frau Scherer."

My friend asked the daughter of the house for permission to go into an inner chamber and see her mother. It was granted, and we went into a sort of saloon, overlooking the Neckar; very small, very bright, and very close. The floor was slippery with polish; long narrow pieces of looking-glass against the walls reflected the perpetual motion of the river opposite; a white porcelain stove, with some old-fashioned ornaments of brass about it; a sofa, covered with Utrecht velvet, a table before it, and a piece of worsted-worked carpet under it; a vase of artificial flowers; and, lastly, an alcove with a bed in it, on which lay the paralysed wife of the good miller, knitting busily, formed the furniture. I spoke as if this was all that was to be seen in the room; but, sitting quietly, while my friend kept up a brisk conversation in a language which I but half understood, my eye was caught by a picture in a dark corner of the room, and I got up to examine it more nearly.

My friend asked the daughter of the house if we could go into a private room to see her mother. She said yes, and we entered a small, bright, and cozy lounge that overlooked the Neckar. The floor was slick with polish, and long, narrow mirrors on the walls reflected the constant flow of the river outside. There was a white porcelain stove with some vintage brass decorations, a sofa covered in Utrecht velvet with a table in front of it, and a worsted-worked carpet beneath. A vase of fake flowers sat nearby, and in an alcove, there was a bed where the paralyzed wife of the kind miller was knitting away. I spoke as if that was all there was to the room, but while my friend chatted away in a language I only partially understood, my attention was drawn to a painting in a dark corner of the room, and I stood up to take a closer look.

It was that of a young girl of extreme beauty; evidently of middle rank. There was a sensitive refinement in her face, as if she almost shrank from the gaze which, of necessity, the painter must have fixed upon her. It was not over-well painted, but I felt that it must have been a good likeness, from this strong impress of peculiar character which I have tried to describe. From the dress, I should guess it to have been painted in the latter half of the last century. And I afterwards heard that I was right.

It was a portrait of a young girl of stunning beauty, clearly from a middle-class background. There was a delicate refinement in her face, as if she almost recoiled from the intense gaze that the painter must have aimed at her. The painting wasn't executed perfectly, but I felt it had to be a good likeness, given the strong impression of unique character that I've tried to describe. Based on her clothing, I would say it was painted in the latter half of the last century. Later, I learned that I was correct.

There was a little pause in the conversation.

There was a brief pause in the conversation.

"Will you ask Frau Scherer who this is?"

"Can you ask Frau Scherer who this is?"

My friend repeated my question, and received a long reply in German. Then she turned round and translated it to me.

My friend repeated my question and got a long answer in German. Then she turned around and translated it for me.

"It is the likeness of a great-aunt of her husband's." (My friend was standing by me, and looking at the picture with sympathetic curiosity.) "See! here is the name on the open page of this Bible, 'Anna Scherer, 1778.' Frau Scherer says there is a tradition in the family that this pretty girl, with her complexion of lilies and roses, lost her colour so entirely through fright, that she was known by the name of the Grey Woman. She speaks as if this Anna Scherer lived in some state of life-long terror. But she does not know details; refers me to her husband for them. She thinks he has some papers which were written by the original of that picture for her daughter, who died in this very house not long after our friend there was married. We can ask Herr Scherer for the whole story if you like."

"It looks like a great-aunt of her husband's." (My friend was standing next to me, looking at the picture with curious sympathy.) "Look! Here's the name on this open page of the Bible, 'Anna Scherer, 1778.' Frau Scherer says there's a family tradition that this beautiful girl, with her lily-and-rose complexion, lost her color completely from fright, and she was known as the Grey Woman. She talks like this Anna Scherer lived in a state of constant fear. But she doesn’t have the details; she says to ask her husband for those. She thinks he has some papers written by the person in that picture for her daughter, who died in this very house not long after our friend there got married. We can ask Herr Scherer for the whole story if you want."

"Oh yes, pray do!" said I. And, as our host came in at this moment to ask how we were faring, and to tell us that he had sent to Heidelberg for carriages to convey us home, seeing no chance of the heavy rain abating, my friend, after thanking him, passed on to my request.

"Oh yes, please do!" I said. Just then, our host walked in to check on us and let us know that he had arranged for carriages from Heidelberg to take us home, since the heavy rain didn’t seem likely to stop. After thanking him, my friend moved on to my request.

"Ah!" said he, his face changing, "the aunt Anna had a sad history. It was all owing to one of those hellish Frenchmen; and her daughter suffered for it—the cousin Ursula, as we all called her when I was a child. To be sure, the good cousin Ursula was his child as well. The sins of the fathers are visited on their children. The lady would like to know all about it, would she? Well, there are papers—a kind of apology the aunt Anna wrote for putting an end to her daughter's engagement—or rather facts which she revealed, that prevented cousin Ursula from marrying the man she loved; and so she would never have any other good fellow, else I have heard say my father would have been thankful to have made her his wife." All this time he was rummaging in the drawer of an old-fashioned bureau, and now he turned round, with a bundle of yellow MSS. in his hand, which he gave to my friend, saying, "Take it home, take it home, and if you care to make out our crabbed German writing, you may keep it as long as you like, and read it at your leisure. Only I must have it back again when you have done with it, that's all."

"Ah!" he said, his expression shifting, "Aunt Anna had a tragic story. It was all because of one of those despicable French guys, and her daughter paid the price—cousin Ursula, as we all called her when I was a kid. Of course, good cousin Ursula was his child too. The sins of the fathers are passed down to their children. So, she wants to know all about it, does she? Well, there are some papers—a kind of apology Aunt Anna wrote for ending her daughter's engagement—or rather, the facts she revealed that stopped cousin Ursula from marrying the man she loved; as a result, she would never have any other good guy, or so I’ve heard my father say he would have been glad to take her as his wife." All this time, he was searching through an old-fashioned bureau drawer, and now he turned around, holding a bundle of yellowed papers, which he handed to my friend, saying, "Take this home, take it home, and if you want to figure out our messy German writing, you can keep it as long as you’d like and read it at your own pace. Just make sure to give it back to me when you're done, that’s all."

And so we became possessed of the manuscript of the following letter, which it was our employment, during many a long evening that ensuing winter, to translate, and in some parts to abbreviate. The letter began with some reference to the pain which she had already inflicted upon her daughter by some unexplained opposition to a project of marriage; but I doubt if, without the clue with which the good miller had furnished us, we could have made out even this much from the passionate, broken sentences that made us fancy that some scene between the mother and daughter—and possibly a third person—had occurred just before the mother had begun to write.

And so we got hold of the manuscript of the following letter, which we spent many long evenings that winter translating and in some parts shortening. The letter started with some mention of the pain she had already caused her daughter by her unexplained disapproval of a marriage proposal; however, I doubt that, without the insight the good miller had given us, we could have understood even this much from the passionate, fragmented sentences that made us think a confrontation between the mother and daughter—and possibly a third person—had happened right before the mother started writing.

 

"Thou dost not love thy child, mother! Thou dost not care if her heart is broken!" Ah, God! and these words of my heart-beloved Ursula ring in my ears as if the sound of them would fill them when I lie a-dying. And her poor tear-stained face comes between me and everything else. Child! hearts do not break; life is very tough as well as very terrible. But I will not decide for thee. I will tell thee all; and thou shalt bear the burden of choice. I may be wrong; I have little wit left, and never had much, I think; but an instinct serves me in place of judgment, and that instinct tells me that thou and thy Henri must never be married. Yet I may be in error. I would fain make my child happy. Lay this paper before the good priest Schriesheim; if, after reading it, thou hast doubts which make thee uncertain. Only I will tell thee all now, on condition that no spoken word ever passes between us on the subject. It would kill me to be questioned. I should have to see all present again.

"You don't love your child, mother! You don't care if her heart is broken!" Ah, God! And those words from my beloved Ursula echo in my ears as if their sound will fill them when I'm dying. And her poor, tear-streaked face comes between me and everything else. Child! Hearts don't actually break; life is both tough and terrible. But I won’t decide for you. I will tell you everything, and you will carry the burden of choice. I might be wrong; I have little sense left, and I never had much, I think; but an instinct serves me in place of judgment, and that instinct tells me that you and Henri must never get married. Yet I could be mistaken. I want to make my child happy. Lay this paper before the good priest Schriesheim; if, after reading it, you have doubts that make you uncertain. Just know that I'll tell you everything now, on the condition that no words ever pass between us on the topic. It would kill me to be questioned. I'd have to see everyone again.

My father held, as thou knowest, the mill on the Neckar, where thy new-found uncle, Scherer, now lives. Thou rememberest the surprise with which we were received there last vintage twelvemonth. How thy uncle disbelieved me when I said that I was his sister Anna, whom he had long believed to be dead, and how I had to lead thee underneath the picture, painted of me long ago, and point out, feature by feature, the likeness between it and thee; and how, as I spoke, I recalled first to my own mind, and then by speech to his, the details of the time when it was painted; the merry words that passed between us then, a happy boy and girl; the position of the articles of furniture in the room; our father's habits; the cherry-tree, now cut down, that shaded the window of my bedroom, through which my brother was wont to squeeze himself, in order to spring on to the topmost bough that would bear his weight; and thence would pass me back his cap laden with fruit to where I sat on the window-sill, too sick with fright for him to care much for eating the cherries.

My father owned the mill on the Neckar, where your newly discovered uncle, Scherer, lives now. You remember the surprise we felt when we were welcomed there last harvest season. Your uncle couldn't believe me when I said I was his sister Anna, who he thought had been dead for a long time. I had to lead you under the old painting of me and point out, feature by feature, how much you looked like me. As I spoke, I remembered and then shared with him the details of the time when it was painted; the cheerful words we exchanged back then, a happy boy and girl; the arrangement of the furniture in the room; our father's routines; the cherry tree, now cut down, that shaded my bedroom window, through which my brother used to squeeze himself to leap onto the highest branch that could hold his weight; and from there, he would pass me his cap filled with fruit while I sat on the window sill, too scared to enjoy the cherries he brought me.

And at length Fritz gave way, and believed me to be his sister Anna, even as though I were risen from the dead. And thou rememberest how he fetched in his wife, and told her that I was not dead, but was come back to the old home once more, changed as I was. And she would scarce believe him, and scanned me with a cold, distrustful eye, till at length—for I knew her of old as Babette Müller—I said that I was well-to-do, and needed not to seek out friends for what they had to give. And then she asked—not me, but her husband—why I had kept silent so long, leading all—father, brother, every one that loved me in my own dear home—to esteem me dead. And then thine uncle (thou rememberest?) said he cared not to know more than I cared to tell; that I was his Anna, found again, to be a blessing to him in his old age, as I had been in his boyhood. I thanked him in my heart for his trust; for were the need for telling all less than it seems to me now I could not speak of my past life. But she, who was my sister-in-law still, held back her welcome, and, for want of that, I did not go to live in Heidelberg as I had planned beforehand, in order to be near my brother Fritz, but contented myself with his promise to be a father to my Ursula when I should die and leave this weary world.

And eventually, Fritz gave in and believed I was his sister Anna, as if I had come back from the dead. And you remember how he brought in his wife and told her that I wasn't dead but had returned to the old home again, despite how I had changed. She could hardly believe him and looked at me with a cold, suspicious gaze until, since I recognized her as Babette Müller, I mentioned that I was doing well and didn't need to reach out to friends for help. Then she asked—not me, but her husband—why I had stayed silent for so long, making everyone—father, brother, everyone who loved me in my dear home—think I was dead. And then your uncle (you remember?) said he didn’t want to know more than I was willing to share; that I was his Anna, found again, to be a blessing to him in his old age, just as I had been in his youth. I silently thanked him for his trust; for even if the need to explain everything wasn't as strong as it seems to me now, I still couldn't talk about my past life. But she, who was still my sister-in-law, held back her welcome, and without that, I didn’t move to Heidelberg as I had planned to be close to my brother Fritz, but accepted his promise to be a father to my Ursula when I should die and leave this tiring world.

That Babette Müller was, as I may say, the cause of all my life's suffering. She was a baker's daughter in Heidelberg—a great beauty, as people said, and, indeed, as I could see for myself. I, too—thou sawest my picture—was reckoned a beauty, and I believe I was so. Babette Müller looked upon me as a rival. She liked to be admired, and had no one much to love her. I had several people to love me—thy grandfather, Fritz, the old servant Kätchen, Karl, the head apprentice at the mill—and I feared admiration and notice, and the being stared at as the "Schöne Müllerin," whenever I went to make my purchases in Heidelberg.

That Babette Müller was, I can say, the reason for all my life's suffering. She was a baker's daughter in Heidelberg—a great beauty, as people called her, and I could see for myself that it was true. I, too—you saw my picture—was considered a beauty, and I believe I was. Babette Müller saw me as a rival. She enjoyed being admired and didn’t have many people who loved her. I had several people who loved me—your grandfather, Fritz, the old servant Kätchen, Karl, the head apprentice at the mill—and I was intimidated by admiration and attention, and by being stared at as the "Schöne Müllerin" whenever I went to shop in Heidelberg.

Those were happy, peaceful days. I had Kätchen to help me in the housework, and whatever we did pleased my brave old father, who was always gentle and indulgent towards us women, though he was stern enough with the apprentices in the mill. Karl, the oldest of these, was his favourite; and I can see now that my father wished him to marry me, and that Karl himself was desirous to do so. But Karl was rough-spoken, and passionate—not with me, but with the others—and I shrank from him in a way which, I fear, gave him pain. And then came thy uncle Fritz's marriage; and Babette was brought to the mill to be its mistress. Not that I cared much for giving up my post, for, in spite of my father's great kindness, I always feared that I did not manage well for so large a family (with the men, and a girl under Kätchen, we sat down eleven each night to supper). But when Babette began to find fault with Kätchen, I was unhappy at the blame that fell on faithful servants; and by-and-by I began to see that Babette was egging on Karl to make more open love to me, and, as she once said, to get done with it, and take me off to a home of my own. My father was growing old, and did not perceive all my daily discomfort. The more Karl advanced, the more I disliked him. He was good in the main, but I had no notion of being married, and could not bear any one who talked to me about it.

Those were happy, peaceful days. I had Kätchen helping me with the housework, and everything we did made my brave old father happy, who was always gentle and lenient with us women, even though he was pretty strict with the apprentices at the mill. Karl, the oldest of those apprentices, was his favorite; and I can see now that my father wanted him to marry me, and that Karl himself wanted that too. But Karl was rough-spoken and passionate—not with me, but with others—and I pulled away from him in a way that I fear hurt him. Then came your uncle Fritz's marriage; and Babette was brought to the mill to be its mistress. Not that I cared much about giving up my position, because despite my father's kindness, I always worried that I wasn’t managing well for such a large family (with the men, and a girl under Kätchen, we sat down to supper each night with eleven people). But when Babette started criticizing Kätchen, I felt unhappy about the blame that fell on such devoted servants; and gradually I began to see that Babette was pushing Karl to openly pursue me and, as she once said, to get it over with and take me off to start my own home. My father was getting older and didn’t notice all my daily discomfort. The more Karl pursued me, the more I disliked him. He was generally a good guy, but I had no interest in getting married and couldn’t stand anyone who talked to me about it.

Things were in this way when I had an invitation to go to Carlsruhe to visit a schoolfellow, of whom I had been very fond. Babette was all for my going; I don't think I wanted to leave home, and yet I had been very fond of Sophie Rupprecht. But I was always shy among strangers. Somehow the affair was settled for me, but not until both Fritz and my father had made inquiries as to the character and position of the Rupprechts. They learned that the father had held some kind of inferior position about the Grand-duke's court, and was now dead, leaving a widow, a noble lady, and two daughters, the elder of whom was Sophie, my friend. Madame Rupprecht was not rich, but more than respectable—genteel. When this was ascertained, my father made no opposition to my going; Babette forwarded it by all the means in her power, and even my dear Fritz had his word to say in its favour. Only Kätchen was against it—Kätchen and Karl. The opposition of Karl did more to send me to Carlsruhe than anything. For I could have objected to go; but when he took upon himself to ask what was the good of going a-gadding, visiting strangers of whom no one knew anything, I yielded to circumstances—to the pulling of Sophie and the pushing of Babette. I was silently vexed, I remember, at Babette's inspection of my clothes; at the way in which she settled that this gown was too old-fashioned, or that too common, to go with me on my visit to a noble lady; and at the way in which she took upon herself to spend the money my father had given me to buy what was requisite for the occasion. And yet I blamed myself, for every one else thought her so kind for doing all this; and she herself meant kindly, too.

Things were like this when I got an invitation to go to Carlsruhe to visit a school friend I had been really fond of. Babette was eager for me to go; I don't think I wanted to leave home, but I did have a lot of affection for Sophie Rupprecht. However, I was always shy around new people. Somehow, the decision was made for me, but only after both Fritz and my dad had looked into the Rupprechts' background. They found out that the father had held some minor role at the Grand-duke's court and was now dead, leaving behind a widow, a noble lady, and two daughters, the older of whom was Sophie, my friend. Madame Rupprecht wasn't rich, but she was more than respectable—she was genteel. Once this was established, my dad didn’t object to my going; Babette did everything she could to support it, and even my dear Fritz spoke in its favor. Only Kätchen was against it—Kätchen and Karl. Karl's opposition actually pushed me more toward going to Carlsruhe than anything else. I could have refused, but when he questioned the point of visiting strangers no one knew anything about, I gave in—mostly because of Sophie wanting me to go and Babette pushing me. I remember feeling silently annoyed when Babette checked my clothes; how she decided that this dress was too old-fashioned or that one too plain for a visit to a noble lady; and how she took it upon herself to spend the money my dad had given me to buy what I needed for the occasion. Yet, I felt guilty because everyone else thought she was being so kind for doing all this, and she truly meant well.

At last I quitted the mill by the Neckar-side. It was a long day's journey, and Fritz went with me to Carlsruhe. The Rupprechts lived on the third floor of a house a little behind one of the principal streets, in a cramped-up court, to which we gained admittance through a doorway in the street. I remember how pinched their rooms looked after the large space we had at the mill, and yet they had an air of grandeur about them which was new to me, and which gave me pleasure, faded as some of it was. Madame Rupprecht was too formal a lady for me; I was never at my ease with her; but Sophie was all that I had recollected her at school: kind, affectionate, and only rather too ready with her expressions of admiration and regard. The little sister kept out of our way; and that was all we needed, in the first enthusiastic renewal of our early friendship. The one great object of Madame Rupprecht's life was to retain her position in society; and as her means were much diminished since her husband's death, there was not much comfort, though there was a great deal of show, in their way of living; just the opposite of what it was at my father's house. I believe that my coming was not too much desired by Madame Rupprecht, as I brought with me another mouth to be fed; but Sophie had spent a year or more in entreating for permission to invite me, and her mother, having once consented, was too well bred not to give me a stately welcome.

At last, I left the mill by the Neckar. It was a long day's journey, and Fritz came with me to Karlsruhe. The Rupprechts lived on the third floor of a house a bit behind one of the main streets, in a cramped courtyard, which we accessed through a doorway in the street. I remember how small their rooms felt compared to the large space we had at the mill, yet there was a certain grandeur to them that was new to me and gave me pleasure, even if some of it had faded. Madame Rupprecht was too formal for my liking; I never felt comfortable around her. But Sophie was just as I remembered her from school: kind, affectionate, and a little too eager to express her admiration and affection. The little sister stayed out of our way, which was all we needed during the exciting renewal of our early friendship. Madame Rupprecht’s main goal in life was to maintain her social status, and since her means were considerably reduced after her husband’s death, their lifestyle was more about show than comfort, the complete opposite of my father’s house. I figured my arrival wasn’t exactly welcomed by Madame Rupprecht, since I brought another mouth to feed. However, Sophie had spent over a year begging for permission to invite me, and once her mother agreed, she was too well-mannered not to give me a formal welcome.

The life in Carlsruhe was very different from what it was at home. The hours were later, the coffee was weaker in the morning, the pottage was weaker, the boiled beef less relieved by other diet, the dresses finer, the evening engagements constant. I did not find these visits pleasant. We might not knit, which would have relieved the tedium a little; but we sat in a circle, talking together, only interrupted occasionally by a gentleman, who, breaking out of the knot of men who stood near the door, talking eagerly together, stole across the room on tiptoe, his hat under his arm, and, bringing his feet together in the position we called the first at the dancing-school, made a low bow to the lady he was going to address. The first time I saw these manners I could not help smiling; but Madame Rupprecht saw me, and spoke to me next morning rather severely, telling me that, of course, in my country breeding I could have seen nothing of court manners, or French fashions, but that that was no reason for my laughing at them. Of course I tried never to smile again in company. This visit to Carlsruhe took place in '89, just when every one was full of the events taking place at Paris; and yet at Carlsruhe French fashions were more talked of than French politics. Madame Rupprecht, especially, thought a great deal of all French people. And this again was quite different to us at home. Fritz could hardly bear the name of a Frenchman; and it had nearly been an obstacle to my visit to Sophie that her mother preferred being called Madame to her proper title of Frau.

The life in Carlsruhe was very different from what it was at home. The hours were later, the coffee was weaker in the morning, the porridge was less substantial, the boiled beef wasn't complemented by other dishes, the dresses were fancier, and the evening events were nonstop. I didn’t find these get-togethers enjoyable. We couldn't knit, which would have eased the boredom a bit; instead, we sat in a circle chatting, only interrupted occasionally by a gentleman, who would break away from the group of men gathered near the door, chatting animatedly, and stealthily cross the room on tiptoe, hat under his arm, and, bringing his feet together in the position we called the first at the dance school, would make a low bow to the lady he was about to speak to. The first time I saw these manners, I couldn’t help but smile; but Madame Rupprecht noticed me and spoke to me the next morning rather sternly, telling me that, of course, with my background, I could have never seen anything like court manners or French styles, but that was no reason for me to laugh at them. So naturally, I tried never to smile again in company. This visit to Carlsruhe happened in '89, just when everyone was buzzing about the events in Paris; yet at Carlsruhe, French styles were discussed more than French politics. Madame Rupprecht, in particular, thought highly of all French people. And again, this was quite different from our home. Fritz could barely stand the mention of a Frenchman; and it had almost been a stumbling block to my visit to Sophie that her mother preferred to be called Madame instead of her actual title of Frau.

Monsieur de la Tourelle
Monsieur de la Tourelle
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One night I was sitting next to Sophie, and longing for the time when we might have supper and go home, so as to be able to speak together, a thing forbidden by Madame Rupprecht's rules of etiquette, which strictly prohibited any but the most necessary conversation passing between members of the same family when in society. I was sitting, I say, scarcely keeping back my inclination to yawn, when two gentlemen came in, one of whom was evidently a stranger to the whole party, from the formal manner in which the host led him up, and presented him to the hostess. I thought I had never seen any one so handsome or so elegant. His hair was powdered, of course, but one could see from his complexion that it was fair in its natural state. His features were as delicate as a girl's, and set off by two little "mouches," as we called patches in those days, one at the left corner of his mouth, the other prolonging, as it were, the right eye. His dress was blue and silver. I was so lost in admiration of this beautiful young man, that I was as much surprised as if the angel Gabriel had spoken to me, when the lady of the house brought him forward to present him to me. She called him Monsieur de la Tourelle, and he began to speak to me in French; but though I understood him perfectly, I dared not trust myself to reply to him in that language. Then he tried German, speaking it with a kind of soft lisp that I thought charming. But, before the end of the evening, I became a little tired of the affected softness and effeminacy of his manners, and the exaggerated compliments he paid me, which had the effect of making all the company turn round and look at me. Madame Rupprecht was, however, pleased with the precise thing that displeased me. She liked either Sophie or me to create a sensation; of course she would have preferred that it should have been her daughter, but her daughter's friend was next best. As we went away, I heard Madame Rupprecht and Monsieur de la Tourelle reciprocating civil speeches with might and main, from which I found out that the French gentleman was coming to call on us the next day. I do not know whether I was more glad or frightened, for I had been kept upon stilts of good manners all the evening. But still I was flattered when Madame Rupprecht spoke as if she had invited him, because he had shown pleasure in my society, and even more gratified by Sophie's ungrudging delight at the evident interest I had excited in so fine and agreeable a gentleman. Yet, with all this, they had hard work to keep me from running out of the salon the next day, when we heard his voice inquiring at the gate on the stairs for Madame Rupprecht. They had made me put on my Sunday gown, and they themselves were dressed as for a reception.

One night, I was sitting next to Sophie, wishing for the time when we could have dinner and head home so we could talk, something forbidden by Madame Rupprecht's etiquette rules, which strictly limited any conversation between family members in social settings to only what was absolutely necessary. I was sitting there, barely holding back the urge to yawn, when two gentlemen entered. One of them was obviously new to the whole group, given the formal way the host introduced him to the hostess. I thought I had never seen anyone so handsome or elegant. His hair was powdered, but you could tell it was fair naturally by his complexion. His features were delicate, almost feminine, accentuated by two little "mouches," as we called patches back then—one at the left corner of his mouth, and the other extending, in a way, from his right eye. His outfit was blue and silver. I was so captivated by this beautiful young man that I was as surprised as if the angel Gabriel had spoken to me when the lady of the house introduced him to me. She called him Monsieur de la Tourelle, and he began speaking to me in French; even though I understood him perfectly, I didn’t dare respond in that language. Then he switched to German, speaking it with a charming soft lisp. But by the end of the evening, I started to tire of his overly soft and effeminate manner, along with the exaggerated compliments he gave me, which made everyone else turn to look at me. Madame Rupprecht, however, enjoyed what I found irritating. She liked either Sophie or me to create a stir; naturally, she would have preferred it to be her daughter, but her daughter's friend was a close second. As we were leaving, I overheard Madame Rupprecht and Monsieur de la Tourelle exchanging pleasantries vigorously, from which I learned that the French gentleman was coming to visit us the next day. I didn’t know whether to feel more excited or scared, since I had been on edge with good manners all evening. Still, I felt flattered when Madame Rupprecht acted like she had invited him because he had enjoyed my company, and I was even more pleased by Sophie’s genuine delight at the interest I had sparked in such a charming gentleman. Yet, despite all this, it took a lot to keep me from rushing out of the salon the next day when I heard his voice asking at the gate for Madame Rupprecht. They had made me wear my Sunday dress, and they themselves were dressed for a reception.

When he was gone away, Madame Rupprecht congratulated me on the conquest I had made; for, indeed, he had scarcely spoken to any one else, beyond what mere civility required, and had almost invited himself to come in the evening to bring some new song, which was all the fashion in Paris, he said. Madame Rupprecht had been out all morning, as she told me, to glean information about Monsieur de la Tourelle. He was a propriétaire, had a small château on the Vosges mountains; he owned land there, but had a large income from some sources quite independent of this property. Altogether, he was a good match, as she emphatically observed. She never seemed to think that I could refuse him after this account of his wealth, nor do I believe she would have allowed Sophie a choice, even had he been as old and ugly as he was young and handsome. I do not quite know—so many events have come to pass since then, and blurred the clearness of my recollections—if I loved him or not. He was very much devoted to me; he almost frightened me by the excess of his demonstrations of love. And he was very charming to everybody around me, who all spoke of him as the most fascinating of men, and of me as the most fortunate of girls. And yet I never felt quite at my ease with him. I was always relieved when his visits were over, although I missed his presence when he did not come. He prolonged his visit to the friend with whom he was staying at Carlsruhe, on purpose to woo me. He loaded me with presents, which I was unwilling to take, only Madame Rupprecht seemed to consider me an affected prude if I refused them. Many of these presents consisted of articles of valuable old jewellery, evidently belonging to his family; by accepting these I doubled the ties which were formed around me by circumstances even more than by my own consent. In those days we did not write letters to absent friends as frequently as is done now, and I had been unwilling to name him in the few letters that I wrote home. At length, however, I learned from Madame Rupprecht that she had written to my father to announce the splendid conquest I had made, and to request his presence at my betrothal. I started with astonishment. I had not realized that affairs had gone so far as this. But when she asked me, in a stern, offended manner, what I had meant by my conduct if I did not intend to marry Monsieur de la Tourelle—I had received his visits, his presents, all his various advances without showing any unwillingness or repugnance—(and it was all true; I had shown no repugnance, though I did not wish to be married to him,—at least, not so soon)—what could I do but hang my head, and silently consent to the rapid enunciation of the only course which now remained for me if I would not be esteemed a heartless coquette all the rest of my days?

When he left, Madame Rupprecht congratulated me on the success I had achieved; after all, he had barely spoken to anyone else, except out of basic politeness, and had practically invited himself to come by in the evening to share some new song that was all the rage in Paris, as he put it. Madame Rupprecht had spent the whole morning, as she told me, gathering information about Monsieur de la Tourelle. He was a landowner with a small château in the Vosges mountains; he owned land there but had a large income from other sources completely separate from that property. Overall, he was a great match, as she stressed. She never seemed to consider that I might refuse him after hearing about his wealth, nor do I think she would have let Sophie choose if he had been as old and unattractive as he was young and good-looking. I’m not entirely sure—so much has happened since then and clouded my memory—if I actually loved him or not. He was very devoted to me; his intense displays of affection nearly scared me. He was also charming to everyone around me, who all called him the most fascinating man and me the luckiest girl. Yet, I never felt completely comfortable with him. I always felt relieved when his visits ended, even though I missed having him around when he didn’t come. He extended his stay with the friend he was visiting in Carlsruhe just to pursue me. He showered me with gifts, which I was reluctant to accept, but Madame Rupprecht made me feel like a pretentious prude if I refused. Many of these gifts were valuable pieces of old jewelry that clearly belonged to his family; by accepting them, I increased the ties that were being formed around me by circumstances beyond my control. Back then, we didn’t write letters to friends who were away as often as people do now, and I had been hesitant to mention him in the few letters I sent home. Eventually, though, I learned from Madame Rupprecht that she had written to my father to inform him of the impressive conquest I had made and to invite him to my engagement. I was shocked. I hadn’t realized things had progressed this far. But when she confronted me, offended and stern, asking what I had intended by my actions if I didn’t plan to marry Monsieur de la Tourelle—I had accepted his visits, his gifts, and all his advances without showing any resistance or disgust—(and it was true; I had shown no aversion, even though I didn’t want to marry him—not so soon, at least)—what could I do but lower my gaze and silently agree to the rapid declaration of the only option left for me if I didn’t want to be seen as a heartless flirt for the rest of my life?

There was some difficulty, which I afterwards learnt that my sister-in-law had obviated, about my betrothal taking place from home. My father, and Fritz especially, were for having me return to the mill, and there be betrothed, and from thence be married. But the Rupprechts and Monsieur de la Tourelle were equally urgent on the other side; and Babette was unwilling to have the trouble of the commotion at the mill; and also, I think, a little disliked the idea of the contrast of my grander marriage with her own.

There was some difficulty, which I later found out my sister-in-law had solved, regarding my engagement happening at home. My father, and especially Fritz, wanted me to go back to the mill to get engaged there and then get married from that location. But the Rupprechts and Monsieur de la Tourelle were just as adamant about the opposite; plus, Babette didn’t want the hassle of the chaos at the mill. I also think she was a bit uncomfortable with the idea of my more extravagant wedding compared to her own.

So my father and Fritz came over to the betrothal. They were to stay at an inn in Carlsruhe for a fortnight, at the end of which time the marriage was to take place. Monsieur de la Tourelle told me he had business at home, which would oblige him to be absent during the interval between the two events; and I was very glad of it, for I did not think that he valued my father and my brother as I could have wished him to do. He was very polite to them; put on all the soft, grand manner, which he had rather dropped with me; and complimented us all round, beginning with my father and Madame Rupprecht, and ending with little Alwina. But he a little scoffed at the old-fashioned church ceremonies which my father insisted on; and I fancy Fritz must have taken some of his compliments as satire, for I saw certain signs of manner by which I knew that my future husband, for all his civil words, had irritated and annoyed my brother. But all the money arrangements were liberal in the extreme, and more than satisfied, almost surprised, my father. Even Fritz lifted up his eyebrows and whistled. I alone did not care about anything. I was bewitched,—in a dream,—a kind of despair. I had got into a net through my own timidity and weakness, and I did not see how to get out of it. I clung to my own home-people that fortnight as I had never done before. Their voices, their ways were all so pleasant and familiar to me, after the constraint in which I had been living. I might speak and do as I liked without being corrected by Madame Rupprecht, or reproved in a delicate, complimentary way by Monsieur de la Tourelle. One day I said to my father that I did not want to be married, that I would rather go back to the dear old mill; but he seemed to feel this speech of mine as a dereliction of duty as great as if I had committed perjury; as if, after the ceremony of betrothal, no one had any right over me but my future husband. And yet he asked me some solemn questions; but my answers were not such as to do me any good.

So my dad and Fritz came over for the engagement. They were planning to stay at an inn in Carlsruhe for two weeks, after which the wedding was set to happen. Monsieur de la Tourelle informed me that he had business at home and would be absent during that time, which I was actually happy about because I didn’t think he appreciated my dad and brother as much as I wished he would. He was very polite to them, putting on a grand, soft demeanor that he had mostly dropped with me, and he complimented all of us, starting with my dad and Madame Rupprecht and ending with little Alwina. However, he did mock the traditional church ceremonies that my dad insisted on, and I think Fritz might have taken some of his compliments as sarcasm, since I noticed certain signs that showed my future husband, despite his courteous words, had irritated my brother. But all the financial arrangements were extremely generous and more than satisfied, even surprised, my dad. Even Fritz raised his eyebrows and whistled. I alone didn’t care about anything. I felt enchanted—like I was in a dream—a kind of despair. I had gotten caught in a trap because of my own timidity and weakness, and I couldn’t figure out how to escape it. I held onto my family during that fortnight like never before. Their voices and habits were so comforting and familiar to me after the tension I had been living in. I could speak and act however I wanted without being corrected by Madame Rupprecht or gently reproached by Monsieur de la Tourelle. One day, I told my dad that I didn’t want to get married and that I would rather return to the lovely old mill; but he seemed to see my words as a failure of duty, as serious as if I had committed perjury—like no one had any right over me except for my future husband after the engagement ceremony. Yet he did ask me some serious questions; but my answers didn’t help my situation at all.

"Dost thou know any fault or crime in this man that should prevent God's blessing from resting on thy marriage with him? Dost thou feel aversion or repugnance to him in any way?"

"Do you know of any fault or crime in this man that would keep God's blessing from being upon your marriage with him? Do you feel any dislike or repulsion towards him at all?"

And to all this what could I say? I could only stammer out that I did not think I loved him enough; and my poor old father saw in this reluctance only the fancy of a silly girl who did not know her own mind, but who had now gone too far to recede.

And what could I say to all this? I could only stammer that I didn’t think I loved him enough; and my poor old dad saw this hesitation as just the whim of a silly girl who didn’t know her own mind, but who had now gone too far to back out.

So we were married, in the Court chapel, a privilege which Madame Rupprecht had used no end of efforts to obtain for us, and which she must have thought was to secure us all possible happiness, both at the time and in recollection afterwards.

So we got married in the court chapel, a privilege that Madame Rupprecht had worked really hard to get for us, and she must have believed it would ensure our happiness both then and in the memories that followed.

We were married; and after two days spent in festivity at Carlsruhe, among all our new fashionable friends there, I bade good-by for ever to my dear old father. I had begged my husband to take me by way of Heidelberg to his old castle in the Vosges; but I found an amount of determination, under that effeminate appearance and manner, for which I was not prepared, and he refused my first request so decidedly that I dared not urge it. "Henceforth, Anna," said he, "you will move in a different sphere of life; and though it is possible that you may have the power of showing favour to your relations from time to time, yet much or familiar intercourse will be undesirable, and is what I cannot allow." I felt almost afraid, after this formal speech, of asking my father and Fritz to come and see me; but, when the agony of bidding them farewell overcame all my prudence, I did beg them to pay me a visit ere long. But they shook their heads, and spoke of business at home, of different kinds of life, of my being a Frenchwoman now. Only my father broke out at last with a blessing, and said, "If my child is unhappy—which God forbid—let her remember that her father's house is ever open to her." I was on the point of crying out, "Oh! take me back then now, my father! oh, my father!" when I felt, rather than saw, my husband present near me. He looked on with a slightly contemptuous air; and, taking my hand in his, he led me weeping away, saying that short farewells were always the best when they were inevitable.

We were married, and after two days of celebration in Carlsruhe with our new fashionable friends, I said goodbye forever to my dear old father. I had asked my husband to take me via Heidelberg to his old castle in the Vosges, but I was unprepared for the level of determination he showed beneath his delicate appearance and demeanor. He refused my initial request so firmly that I didn't dare press the issue. "From now on, Anna," he said, "you will be part of a different social circle. While you might have the ability to occasionally show kindness to your relatives, a close relationship is not advisable, and it’s something I cannot permit." After that formal speech, I was almost scared to invite my father and Fritz to visit me. But when the pain of saying goodbye overwhelmed me, I did ask them to come see me soon. They shook their heads, talking about business at home, different lifestyles, and how I was now a Frenchwoman. Only my father eventually exclaimed with a blessing, "If my child is unhappy—which God forbid—let her remember that her father's house is always open to her." I was about to cry out, "Oh! Take me back then now, my father! Oh, my father!" when I felt, rather than saw, my husband near me. He watched with a slightly disdainful look and, taking my hand, led me away while I was crying, saying that brief farewells are always best when they are unavoidable.

It took us two days to reach his château in the Vosges, for the roads were bad and the way difficult to ascertain. Nothing could be more devoted than he was all the time of the journey. It seemed as if he were trying in every way to make up for the separation which every hour made me feel the more complete between my present and my former life. I seemed as if I were only now wakening up to a full sense of what marriage was, and I dare say I was not a cheerful companion on the tedious journey. At length, jealousy of my regret for my father and brother got the better of M. de la Tourelle, and he became so much displeased with me that I thought my heart would break with the sense of desolation. So it was in no cheerful frame of mind that we approached Les Rochers, and I thought that perhaps it was because I was so unhappy that the place looked so dreary. On one side, the château looked like a raw new building, hastily run up for some immediate purpose, without any growth of trees or underwood near it, only the remains of the stone used for building, not yet cleared away from the immediate neighbourhood, although weeds and lichens had been suffered to grow near and over the heaps of rubbish; on the other, were the great rocks from which the place took its name, and rising close against them, as if almost a natural formation, was the old castle, whose building dated many centuries back.

It took us two days to get to his château in the Vosges, since the roads were terrible and it was hard to figure out the way. He was incredibly dedicated throughout the journey, as if he was trying to make up for the separation that I felt more deeply with each passing hour between my current life and my past one. I felt like I was just starting to fully understand what marriage was, and I admit I wasn't the most cheerful travel companion on the long trip. Eventually, M. de la Tourelle's jealousy over my sadness for my father and brother became overwhelming, and he grew so displeased with me that I thought my heart would break from the loneliness. So, we reached Les Rochers in a pretty grim mood, and I wondered if my unhappiness was why the place seemed so bleak. On one side, the château looked like a rough new building, quickly thrown together for some urgent purpose, with no trees or shrubs around, just piles of stone from the construction that hadn’t been cleaned up yet, although weeds and lichens were allowed to grow over the debris. On the other side were the massive rocks that gave the place its name, and rising right next to them, looking almost like a natural formation, was the old castle, which had been built many centuries ago.

It was not large nor grand, but it was strong and picturesque, and I used to wish that we lived in it rather than in the smart, half-furnished apartment in the new edifice, which had been hastily got ready for my reception. Incongruous as the two parts were, they were joined into a whole by means of intricate passages and unexpected doors, the exact positions of which I never fully understood. M. de la Tourelle led me to a suite of rooms set apart for me, and formally installed me in them, as in a domain of which I was sovereign. He apologised for the hasty preparation which was all he had been able to make for me, but promised, before I asked, or even thought of complaining, that they should be made as luxurious as heart could wish before many weeks had elapsed. But when, in the gloom of an autumnal evening, I caught my own face and figure reflected in all the mirrors, which showed only a mysterious background in the dim light of the many candles which failed to illuminate the great proportions of the half-furnished salon, I clung to M. de la Tourelle, and begged to be taken to the rooms he had occupied before his marriage, he seemed angry with me, although he affected to laugh, and so decidedly put aside the notion of my having any other rooms but these, that I trembled in silence at the fantastic figures and shapes which my imagination called up as peopling the background of those gloomy mirrors. There was my boudoir, a little less dreary—my bedroom, with its grand and tarnished furniture, which I commonly made into my sitting-room, locking up the various doors which led into the boudoir, the salon, the passages—all but one, through which M. de la Tourelle always entered from his own apartments in the older part of the castle. But this preference of mine for occupying my bedroom annoyed M. de la Tourelle, I am sure, though he did not care to express his displeasure. He would always allure me back into the salon, which I disliked more and more from its complete separation from the rest of the building by the long passage into which all the doors of my apartment opened. This passage was closed by heavy doors and portières, through which I could not hear a sound from the other parts of the house, and, of course, the servants could not hear any movement or cry of mine unless expressly summoned. To a girl brought up as I had been in a household where every individual lived all day in the sight of every other member of the family, never wanted either cheerful words or the sense of silent companionship, this grand isolation of mine was very formidable; and the more so, because M. de la Tourelle, as landed proprietor, sportsman, and what not, was generally out of doors the greater part of every day, and sometimes for two or three days at a time. I had no pride to keep me from associating with the domestics; it would have been natural to me in many ways to have sought them out for a word of sympathy in those dreary days when I was left so entirely to myself, had they been like our kindly German servants. But I disliked them, one and all; I could not tell why. Some were civil, but there was a familiarity in their civility which repelled me; others were rude, and treated me more as if I were an intruder than their master's chosen wife; and yet of the two sets I liked these last the best.

It wasn’t big or fancy, but it was sturdy and charming, and I often wished we lived there instead of in the stylish, half-furnished apartment in the new building that had been thrown together for my arrival. Even though the two areas felt mismatched, they were connected by elaborate hallways and unexpected doors, the exact locations of which I never completely grasped. M. de la Tourelle took me to a set of rooms designated for me and formally settled me in, like I was the ruler of my own domain. He apologized for the rushed preparation he managed for me but promised, before I even thought of complaining, that they would be made as luxurious as I could desire in just a few weeks. But when, on a dim autumn evening, I caught sight of my own reflection in the mirrors, surrounded by a mysterious backdrop only dimly lit by the many candles that failed to brighten the large, half-furnished salon, I clung to M. de la Tourelle and asked to be taken to the rooms he used before he got married. He seemed upset with me, though he pretended to laugh, and decisively dismissed the idea of me having any other rooms besides these, making me tremble in silence at the strange figures and shapes my imagination conjured up in the dark mirrors. There was my boudoir, a little less gloomy—my bedroom with its grand, tarnished furniture, which I usually turned into my sitting room, locking the various doors that led into the boudoir, the salon, the hallways—all but one, through which M. de la Tourelle always came from his own rooms in the older part of the castle. But this preference of mine to stay in my bedroom definitely bothered M. de la Tourelle, though he didn’t show his annoyance. He would always try to lure me back into the salon, which I increasingly disliked because of its complete separation from the rest of the building, connected only by the long hallway that all the doors of my apartment opened into. This hallway was closed off by heavy doors and drapes, so I couldn't hear anything from the other parts of the house, and, of course, the servants couldn’t hear any noise or cries from me unless I specifically called for them. For a girl raised in a household where everyone was always in view of each other and where cheerful words and a sense of silent companionship were constant, this grand isolation felt very intimidating; especially since M. de la Tourelle, as a landowner, sportsman, and all, was usually outside for most of the day, sometimes gone for two or three days at a time. I wasn’t too proud to associate with the help; it would have been natural for me in many ways to seek them out for a bit of sympathy during those dreary days when I was left completely alone, had they been like our kind German servants. But I didn’t like any of them; I couldn’t explain why. Some were polite, but their familiarity put me off; others were rude, treating me more like an intruder than their master’s chosen wife; yet I actually preferred the latter group.

The principal male servant belonged to this latter class. I was very much afraid of him, he had such an air of suspicious surliness about him in all he did for me; and yet M. de la Tourelle spoke of him as most valuable and faithful. Indeed, it sometimes struck me that Lefebvre ruled his master in some things; and this I could not make out. For, while M. de la Tourelle behaved towards me as if I were some precious toy or idol, to be cherished, and fostered, and petted, and indulged, I soon found out how little I, or, apparently, any one else, could bend the terrible will of the man who had on first acquaintance appeared to me too effeminate and languid to exert his will in the slightest particular. I had learnt to know his face better now; and to see that some vehement depth of feeling, the cause of which I could not fathom, made his grey eye glitter with pale light, and his lips contract, and his delicate cheek whiten on certain occasions. But all had been so open and above board at home, that I had no experience to help me to unravel any mysteries among those who lived under the same roof. I understood that I had made what Madame Rupprecht and her set would have called a great marriage, because I lived in a château with many servants, bound ostensibly to obey me as a mistress. I understood that M. de la Tourelle was fond enough of me in his way—proud of my beauty, I dare say (for he often enough spoke about it to me)—but he was also jealous, and suspicious, and uninfluenced by my wishes, unless they tallied with his own. I felt at this time as if I could have been fond of him too, if he would have let me; but I was timid from my childhood, and before long my dread of his displeasure (coming down like thunder into the midst of his love, for such slight causes as a hesitation in reply, a wrong word, or a sigh for my father), conquered my humorous inclination to love one who was so handsome, so accomplished, so indulgent and devoted. But if I could not please him when indeed I loved him, you may imagine how often I did wrong when I was so much afraid of him as to quietly avoid his company for fear of his outbursts of passion. One thing I remember noticing, that the more M. de la Tourelle was displeased with me, the more Lefebvre seemed to chuckle; and when I was restored to favour, sometimes on as sudden an impulse as that which occasioned my disgrace, Lefebvre would look askance at me with his cold, malicious eyes, and once or twice at such times he spoke most disrespectfully to M. de la Tourelle.

The main male servant belonged to this last category. I was really afraid of him; he had such a suspicious, grumpy vibe about everything he did for me. Yet, M. de la Tourelle spoke highly of him, describing him as very valuable and loyal. Sometimes, it even seemed to me that Lefebvre had some control over his master in certain matters, which I couldn't understand. M. de la Tourelle treated me like I was some precious item to be cherished, cared for, and spoiled, but I quickly realized how little I, or apparently anyone else, could influence the strong will of the man who, at first, seemed too soft and lethargic to assert himself in any way. I had come to know his face better now and could see that a deep, intense emotion, which I couldn't figure out, made his grey eye shine with a faint light and his lips tighten, making his delicate cheek go pale at certain moments. Everything had been so open and straightforward at home that I didn't have any experience to help me solve any mysteries among those living under the same roof. I understood that I had made what Madame Rupprecht and her group would have called a great match since I lived in a chateau with many servants who were ostensibly bound to obey me as the lady of the house. I recognized that M. de la Tourelle cared for me in his own way—probably proud of my beauty, as he often mentioned it to me—but he was also jealous, suspicious, and not swayed by my desires unless they aligned with his. At this time, I felt I could have liked him too if he would have let me; but I was timid from childhood, and soon my fear of his anger (which would strike like thunder amid his affections for minor things like a hesitation in my response, a wrong word, or a sigh for my father) overcame my amusing inclination to love someone who was so handsome, refined, thoughtful, and devoted. But if I couldn’t please him when I truly loved him, you can imagine how often I messed up when I was too scared of him to seek his company, worried about his outbursts of anger. One thing I remember noticing was that the more M. de la Tourelle was upset with me, the more Lefebvre seemed to smirk; and when I was back in his good graces, often on an impulse as sudden as the one that caused my disgrace, Lefebvre would look at me sideways with his cold, mean eyes, and on a couple of occasions, he spoke very disrespectfully to M. de la Tourelle.

I have almost forgotten to say that, in the early days of my life at Les Rochers, M. de la Tourelle, in contemptuous indulgent pity at my weakness in disliking the dreary grandeur of the salon, wrote up to the milliner in Paris from whom my corbeille de mariage had come, to desire her to look out for me a maid of middle age, experienced in the toilette, and with so much refinement that she might on occasion serve as companion to me.

I almost forgot to mention that, in the early days of my time at Les Rochers, M. de la Tourelle, in a dismissive and patronizing way due to my dislike of the gloomy elegance of the salon, wrote to the milliner in Paris who provided my wedding trousseau, asking her to find me a middle-aged maid, someone experienced in personal care, who also had enough sophistication to occasionally be my companion.

 

PORTION II.

SECTION II.

A Norman woman, Amante by name, was sent to Les Rochers by the Paris milliner, to become my maid. She was tall and handsome, though upwards of forty, and somewhat gaunt. But, on first seeing her, I liked her; she was neither rude nor familiar in her manners, and had a pleasant look of straightforwardness about her that I had missed in all the inhabitants of the château, and had foolishly set down in my own mind as a national want. Amante was directed by M. de la Tourelle to sit in my boudoir, and to be always within call. He also gave her many instructions as to her duties in matters which, perhaps, strictly belonged to my department of management. But I was young and inexperienced, and thankful to be spared any responsibility.

A woman from Normandy, named Amante, was sent to Les Rochers by the Paris milliner to be my maid. She was tall and attractive, even though she was over forty and a bit thin. However, when I first saw her, I liked her; she was neither rude nor overly familiar, and she had a refreshing straightforwardness about her that I hadn’t seen in anyone else at the château, which I had foolishly thought was a national issue. M. de la Tourelle instructed her to sit in my boudoir and to be readily available. He also gave her several instructions regarding her duties, which probably should have been my responsibility. But I was young and inexperienced, and I was grateful to avoid any responsibility.

I daresay it was true what M. de la Tourelle said—before many weeks had elapsed—that, for a great lady, a lady of a castle, I became sadly too familiar with my Norman waiting-maid. But you know that by birth we were not very far apart in rank: Amante was the daughter of a Norman farmer, I of a German miller; and besides that, my life was so lonely! It almost seemed as if I could not please my husband. He had written for some one capable of being my companion at times, and now he was jealous of my free regard for her—angry because I could sometimes laugh at her original tunes and amusing proverbs, while when with him I was too much frightened to smile.

I must admit, M. de la Tourelle was right—before long, I became way too close with my Norman maid for someone of my status as a great lady from a castle. But, you know, we weren't that far apart in terms of rank: Amante was the daughter of a Norman farmer, and I was the daughter of a German miller. Plus, my life was so lonely! It felt like I could never please my husband. He had requested someone who could be my companion at times, and now he was jealous of how freely I showed affection towards her—angry because I could laugh at her quirky songs and funny sayings, while I felt too intimidated to smile around him.

From time to time families from a distance of some leagues drove through the bad roads in their heavy carriages to pay us a visit, and there was an occasional talk of our going to Paris when public affairs should be a little more settled. These little events and plans were the only variations in my life for the first twelve months, if I except the alternations in M. de la Tourelle's temper, his unreasonable anger, and his passionate fondness.

Every now and then, families from a few leagues away would travel on the rough roads in their heavy carriages to visit us, and sometimes there was talk of us going to Paris when the public situation was a bit more stable. These small events and plans were the only changes in my life during the first twelve months, aside from the mood swings of M. de la Tourelle—his unreasonable anger and his intense affection.

Perhaps one of the reasons that made me take pleasure and comfort in Amante's society was, that whereas I was afraid of everybody (I do not think I was half as much afraid of things as of persons), Amante feared no one. She would quietly beard Lefebvre, and he respected her all the more for it; she had a knack of putting questions to M. de la Tourelle, which respectfully informed him that she had detected the weak point, but forebore to press him too closely upon it out of deference to his position as her master. And with all her shrewdness to others, she had quite tender ways with me; all the more so at this time because she knew, what I had not yet ventured to tell M. de la Tourelle, that by-and-by I might become a mother—that wonderful object of mysterious interest to single women, who no longer hope to enjoy such blessedness themselves.

Maybe one of the reasons I found pleasure and comfort in Amante's company was that, while I was afraid of everyone (I don't think I was nearly as scared of things as I was of people), Amante didn't fear anyone. She would confidently confront Lefebvre, and he respected her more for it; she had a talent for asking M. de la Tourelle questions that subtly indicated she had pinpointed his weakness but chose not to push him too hard out of respect for his position as her superior. And despite her sharpness with everyone else, she was quite gentle with me; even more so at this time because she knew, although I hadn't yet dared to tell M. de la Tourelle, that eventually I might become a mother—that wonderful thing of mysterious interest to single women who no longer hope to experience such a blessing themselves.

It was once more autumn; late in October. But I was reconciled to my habitation; the walls of the new part of the building no longer looked bare and desolate; the débris had been so far cleared away by M. de la Tourelle's desire as to make me a little flower-garden, in which I tried to cultivate those plants that I remembered as growing at home. Amante and I had moved the furniture in the rooms, and adjusted it to our liking; my husband had ordered many an article from time to time that he thought would give me pleasure, and I was becoming tame to my apparent imprisonment in a certain part of the great building, the whole of which I had never yet explored. It was October, as I say, once more. The days were lovely, though short in duration, and M. de la Tourelle had occasion, so he said, to go to that distant estate the superintendence of which so frequently took him away from home. He took Lefebvre with him, and possibly some more of the lacqueys; he often did. And my spirits rose a little at the thought of his absence; and then the new sensation that he was the father of my unborn babe came over me, and I tried to invest him with this fresh character. I tried to believe that it was his passionate love for me that made him so jealous and tyrannical, imposing, as he did, restrictions on my very intercourse with my dear father, from whom I was so entirely separated, as far as personal intercourse was concerned.

It was autumn again; late October. But I had made peace with my living situation; the walls of the new part of the building didn't seem bare and lonely anymore. M. de la Tourelle had cleared enough of the debris to create a small flower garden, where I tried to grow the plants I remembered from home. Amante and I had rearranged the furniture in the rooms to suit our taste; my husband had occasionally ordered various items that he thought would please me, and I was adapting to my apparent confinement in a specific part of the large building, which I had never fully explored. It was, as I said, October again. The days were beautiful, though short, and M. de la Tourelle mentioned that he needed to go to that distant estate he often supervised. He took Lefebvre with him, and probably a few other servants; he often did. My spirits lifted a bit at the thought of his absence, and then the new feeling that he was the father of my unborn child washed over me, and I tried to see him in this new light. I wanted to believe that his passionate love for me was what made him so jealous and controlling, imposing restrictions even on my communication with my dear father, from whom I was so completely cut off in terms of personal contact.

I had, it is true, let myself go into a sorrowful review of all the troubles which lay hidden beneath the seeming luxury of my life. I knew that no one cared for me except my husband and Amante; for it was clear enough to see that I, as his wife, and also as a parvenue, was not popular among the few neighbours who surrounded us; and as for the servants, the women were all hard and impudent-looking, treating me with a semblance of respect that had more of mockery than reality in it; while the men had a lurking kind of fierceness about them, sometimes displayed even to M. de la Tourelle, who on his part, it must be confessed, was often severe even to cruelty in his management of them. My husband loved me, I said to myself, but I said it almost in the form of a question. His love was shown fitfully, and more in ways calculated to please himself than to please me. I felt that for no wish of mine would he deviate one tittle from any predetermined course of action. I had learnt the inflexibility of those thin, delicate lips; I knew how anger would turn his fair complexion to deadly white, and bring the cruel light into his pale blue eyes. The love I bore to any one seemed to be a reason for his hating them, and so I went on pitying myself one long dreary afternoon during that absence of his of which I have spoken, only sometimes remembering to check myself in my murmurings by thinking of the new unseen link between us, and then crying afresh to think how wicked I was. Oh, how well I remember that long October evening! Amante came in from time to time, talking away to cheer me—talking about dress and Paris, and I hardly know what, but from time to time looking at me keenly with her friendly dark eyes, and with serious interest, too, though all her words were about frivolity. At length she heaped the fire with wood, drew the heavy silken curtains close; for I had been anxious hitherto to keep them open, so that I might see the pale moon mounting the skies, as I used to see her—the same moon—rise from behind the Kaiser Stuhl at Heidelberg; but the sight made me cry, so Amante shut it out. She dictated to me as a nurse does to a child.

I had, it’s true, let myself sink into a sorrowful reflection on all the troubles hidden beneath the apparent luxury of my life. I knew that no one cared for me except my husband and Amante; it was clear enough that I, as his wife and also as a parvenue, wasn’t well-liked by the few neighbors around us. As for the servants, the women all looked tough and disrespectful, treating me with a fake kind of respect that felt more mocking than genuine; while the men had a kind of lurking fierceness about them, which sometimes even showed towards M. de la Tourelle, who, it must be admitted, was often harsh to the point of cruelty in how he managed them. My husband loved me, I told myself, but it almost felt like a question. His love was shown in bursts and seemed more focused on pleasing himself than me. I felt that he wouldn’t change even a little for any wish of mine. I had learned the inflexibility of those thin, delicate lips; I knew how anger could drain the color from his fair complexion and bring a cruel light to his pale blue eyes. The love I felt for anyone seemed to make him hate them, and so I continued to feel sorry for myself throughout that long, dreary afternoon during his absence I mentioned, only occasionally reminding myself to stop my complaints by thinking of the new unseen bond between us, which made me cry again, feeling how wicked I was. Oh, how well I remember that long October evening! Amante came in and out, chatting away to cheer me up—talking about clothes and Paris, and I hardly know what else, but from time to time she would look at me intently with her warm dark eyes, showing real concern despite all her light talk. Finally, she piled the fire with wood and pulled the heavy silk curtains shut; I had wanted to keep them open so I could see the pale moon rising in the sky, like how I used to watch it rise behind the Kaiser Stuhl in Heidelberg; but the sight made me cry, so Amante closed them. She treated me like a nurse would a child.

"Now, madame must have the little kitten to keep her company," she said, "while I go and ask Marthon for a cup of coffee." I remember that speech, and the way it roused me, for I did not like Amante to think I wanted amusing by a kitten. It might be my petulance, but this speech—such as she might have made to a child—annoyed me, and I said that I had reason for my lowness of spirits—meaning that they were not of so imaginary a nature that I could be diverted from them by the gambols of a kitten. So, though I did not choose to tell her all, I told her a part; and as I spoke, I began to suspect that the good creature knew much of what I withheld, and that the little speech about the kitten was more thoughtfully kind than it had seemed at first. I said that it was so long since I had heard from my father; that he was an old man, and so many things might happen—I might never see him again—and I so seldom heard from him or my brother. It was a more complete and total separation than I had ever anticipated when I married, and something of my home and of my life previous to my marriage I told the good Amante; for I had not been brought up as a great lady, and the sympathy of any human being was precious to me.

"Now, you need a little kitten to keep you company," she said, "while I go ask Marthon for a cup of coffee." I remember that phrase and how it bothered me because I didn’t want Amante to think that I needed distraction from a kitten. Maybe it was my stubbornness, but her words—like something she'd say to a child—annoyed me, and I mentioned that I had reasons for my sadness—implying that they weren’t so trivial that a kitten could distract me. So, even though I didn’t want to share everything, I shared part of it; and as I spoke, I began to feel that she knew a lot of what I was holding back, and that her comment about the kitten was more genuinely kind than it appeared at first. I said it had been a long time since I heard from my father; that he was getting old, and so many things could happen—I might never see him again—and I rarely heard from him or my brother. It was a more complete and total separation than I had ever expected when I got married, and I told the good Amante something about my home and my life before my marriage; I hadn’t been raised as a great lady, and any sympathy from another person was invaluable to me.

Amante listened with interest, and in return told me some of the events and sorrows of her own life. Then, remembering her purpose, she set out in search of the coffee, which ought to have been brought to me an hour before; but, in my husband's absence, my wishes were but seldom attended to, and I never dared to give orders.

Amante listened with interest and shared some of the events and sorrows from her own life. Then, remembering her goal, she went off to find the coffee that should have been brought to me an hour ago. However, with my husband absent, my wishes were rarely taken into account, and I never felt comfortable giving orders.

Presently she returned, bringing the coffee and a great large cake.

Presently she returned, bringing the coffee and a big cake.

"See!" said she, setting it down. "Look at my plunder. Madame must eat. Those who eat always laugh. And, besides, I have a little news that will please madame." Then she told me that, lying on a table in the great kitchen, was a bundle of letters, come by the courier from Strasburg that very afternoon: then, fresh from her conversation with me, she had hastily untied the string that bound them, but had only just traced out one that she thought was from Germany, when a servant-man came in, and, with the start he gave her, she dropped the letters, which he picked up, swearing at her for having untied and disarranged them. She told him that she believed there was a letter there for her mistress; but he only swore the more, saying, that if there was it was no business of hers, or of his either, for that he had the strictest orders always to take all letters that arrived during his master's absence into the private sitting-room of the latter—a room into which I had never entered, although it opened out of my husband's dressing-room.

"See!" she said, putting it down. "Look at my loot. Madame needs to eat. Those who eat always laugh. Plus, I have some news that will make madame happy." Then she told me that there was a bundle of letters lying on a table in the big kitchen, delivered by the courier from Strasbourg that very afternoon. After our conversation, she had hurriedly untied the string holding them together, but had only just found one that she suspected was from Germany when a servant came in. The surprise made her drop the letters, which he picked up, cursing her for messing with them. She told him that she thought there was a letter for her mistress, but he just swore even more, saying that even if there was, it was none of her business or his, because he had strict orders to take all letters that arrived while his master was away to the private sitting room—a room I had never entered, even though it was connected to my husband’s dressing room.

I asked Amante if she had not conquered and brought me this letter. No, indeed, she replied, it was almost as much as her life was worth to live among such a set of servants: it was only a month ago that Jacques had stabbed Valentin for some jesting talk. Had I never missed Valentin—that handsome young lad who carried up the wood into my salon? Poor fellow! he lies dead and cold now, and they said in the village he had put an end to himself, but those of the household knew better. Oh! I need not be afraid; Jacques was gone, no one knew where; but with such people it was not safe to upbraid or insist. Monsieur would be at home the next day, and it would not be long to wait.

I asked Amante if she hadn’t won me over with this letter. No, she said, it was almost as dangerous as her life to be around such a group of servants: it was only a month ago that Jacques had stabbed Valentin over some teasing remark. Had I ever noticed Valentin—that handsome young guy who used to bring in the firewood for my living room? Poor guy! He’s dead and cold now, and they said in the village that he took his own life, but the people in the house knew the truth. Oh! I didn’t need to worry; Jacques was gone, nobody knew where; but with people like that, it wasn't safe to criticize or push for answers. Monsieur would be home the next day, and it wouldn't be long to wait.

But I felt as if I could not exist till the next day, without the letter. It might be to say that my father was ill, dying—he might cry for his daughter from his death-bed! In short, there was no end to the thoughts and fancies that haunted me. It was of no use for Amante to say that, after all, she might be mistaken—that she did not read writing well—that she had but a glimpse of the address; I let my coffee cool, my food all became distasteful, and I wrung my hands with impatience to get at the letter, and have some news of my dear ones at home. All the time, Amante kept her imperturbable good temper, first reasoning, then scolding. At last she said, as if wearied out, that if I would consent to make a good supper, she would see what could be done as to our going to monsieur's room in search of the letter, after the servants were all gone to bed. We agreed to go together when all was still, and look over the letters; there could be no harm in that; and yet, somehow, we were such cowards we dared not do it openly and in the face of the household.

But I felt like I couldn’t wait until the next day without the letter. It could be to say that my father was sick or dying—he might be calling for his daughter from his deathbed! In short, my mind was filled with endless thoughts and worries. It didn’t help that Amante kept saying she might be wrong—that she didn’t read writing well—that she’d only caught a glimpse of the address; I let my coffee get cold, my food turned unappetizing, and I was anxiously wringing my hands, desperate to get the letter and hear some news about my loved ones back home. Throughout all of this, Amante remained her usual calm self, first trying to reason with me, then scolding me. Finally, she said, sounding exhausted, that if I agreed to prepare a nice dinner, she would see what we could do about going to monsieur’s room to search for the letter after the servants had gone to bed. We decided to go together when everything was quiet and look through the letters; there couldn’t be any harm in that, yet somehow, we were such cowards that we didn’t dare do it openly in front of everyone.

Presently my supper came up—partridges, bread, fruits, and cream. How well I remember that supper! We put the untouched cake away in a sort of buffet, and poured the cold coffee out of the window, in order that the servants might not take offence at the apparent fancifulness of sending down for food I could not eat. I was so anxious for all to be in bed, that I told the footman who served that he need not wait to take away the plates and dishes, but might go to bed. Long after I thought the house was quiet, Amante, in her caution, made me wait. It was past eleven before we set out, with cat-like steps and veiled light, along the passages, to go to my husband's room and steal my own letter, if it was indeed there; a fact about which Amante had become very uncertain in the progress of our discussion.

Right now, my dinner was served—partridges, bread, fruits, and cream. I remember that dinner so well! We stored the untouched cake in a kind of buffet and poured the cold coffee out of the window so the servants wouldn't be offended by the oddity of requesting food I couldn't eat. I was so eager for everyone to be in bed that I told the footman who served that he didn't need to wait to clear the plates and dishes but could go to bed. Long after I thought the house was quiet, Amante, being cautious, made me wait. It was past eleven before we left, moving silently with cat-like steps and dim light along the passages, to go to my husband's room and secretly take my own letter, if it was really there; something Amante had become quite uncertain about during our discussion.

To make you understand my story, I must now try to explain to you the plan of the château. It had been at one time a fortified place of some strength, perched on the summit of a rock, which projected from the side of the mountain. But additions had been made to the old building (which must have borne a strong resemblance to the castles overhanging the Rhine), and these new buildings were placed so as to command a magnificent view, being on the steepest side of the rock, from which the mountain fell away, as it were, leaving the great plain of France in full survey. The ground-plan was something of the shape of three sides of an oblong; my apartments in the modern edifice occupied the narrow end, and had this grand prospect. The front of the castle was old, and ran parallel to the road far below. In this were contained the offices and public rooms of various descriptions, into which I never penetrated. The back wing (considering the new building, in which my apartments were, as the centre) consisted of many rooms, of a dark and gloomy character, as the mountain-side shut out much of the sun, and heavy pine woods came down within a few yards of the windows. Yet on this side—on a projecting plateau of the rock—my husband had formed the flower-garden of which I have spoken; for he was a great cultivator of flowers in his leisure moments.

To help you understand my story, I need to explain the layout of the château. At one time, it was a stronghold situated on top of a rock that jutted out from the mountain. Over the years, additional structures were built onto the old building (which must have looked a lot like the castles along the Rhine), and these new parts were designed to offer a stunning view, positioned on the steepest side of the rock where the mountain dropped away, revealing a panoramic view of the vast plains of France. The ground plan was somewhat shaped like three sides of a rectangle; my rooms in the modern part of the building were at the narrow end, showcasing this grand vista. The front of the castle was old and ran parallel to the road far below. This section housed the offices and various public rooms, none of which I ever explored. The back wing (with the new building where my rooms were as the centerpiece) featured several dark and gloomy rooms because the mountainside blocked much of the sunlight, and thick pine woods came close to the windows. However, on this side—on a jutting plateau of the rock—my husband had created the flower garden I mentioned before; he loved cultivating flowers in his free time.

Now my bedroom was the corner room of the new buildings on the part next to the mountain. Hence I could have let myself down into the flower-garden by my hands on the window-sill on one side, without danger of hurting myself; while the windows at right angles with these looked sheer down a descent of a hundred feet at least. Going still farther along this wing, you came to the old building; in fact, these two fragments of the ancient castle had formerly been attached by some such connecting apartments as my husband had rebuilt. These rooms belonged to M. de la Tourelle. His bedroom opened into mine, his dressing-room lay beyond; and that was pretty nearly all I knew, for the servants, as well as he himself, had a knack of turning me back, under some pretence, if ever they found me walking about alone, as I was inclined to do, when first I came, from a sort of curiosity to see the whole of the place of which I found myself mistress. M. de la Tourelle never encouraged me to go out alone, either in a carriage or for a walk, saying always that the roads were unsafe in those disturbed times; indeed, I have sometimes fancied since that the flower-garden, to which the only access from the castle was through his rooms, was designed in order to give me exercise and employment under his own eye.

Now my bedroom was the corner room of the new buildings next to the mountain. So I could have lowered myself into the flower garden by using the window sill on one side without hurting myself; meanwhile, the windows at right angles looked straight down a drop of at least a hundred feet. Going further along this wing, you reached the old building; in fact, these two parts of the ancient castle had previously been connected by some apartments that my husband rebuilt. These rooms belonged to M. de la Tourelle. His bedroom opened into mine, and his dressing room was beyond that; and that was pretty much all I knew, because both the servants and he had a way of sending me back under some pretext whenever they found me wandering around alone, which I tended to do at first out of curiosity to see the entire place I found myself in charge of. M. de la Tourelle never encouraged me to go out alone, either by carriage or for a walk, always saying that the roads were unsafe in those troubled times; in fact, I have sometimes thought since that the flower garden, to which the only access from the castle was through his rooms, was designed to give me exercise and keep me occupied under his watchful eye.

But to return to that night. I knew, as I have said, that M. de la Tourelle's private room opened out of his dressing-room, and this out of his bedroom, which again opened into mine, the corner-room. But there were other doors into all these rooms, and these doors led into a long gallery, lighted by windows, looking into the inner court. I do not remember our consulting much about it; we went through my room into my husband's apartment through the dressing-room, but the door of communication into his study was locked, so there was nothing for it but to turn back and go by the gallery to the other door. I recollect noticing one or two things in these rooms, then seen by me for the first time. I remember the sweet perfume that hung in the air, the scent bottles of silver that decked his toilet-table, and the whole apparatus for bathing and dressing, more luxurious even than those which he had provided for me. But the room itself was less splendid in its proportions than mine. In truth, the new buildings ended at the entrance to my husband's dressing-room. There were deep window recesses in walls eight or nine feet thick, and even the partitions between the chambers were three feet deep; but over all these doors or windows there fell thick, heavy draperies, so that I should think no one could have heard in one room what passed in another. We went back into my room, and out into the gallery. We had to shade our candle, from a fear that possessed us, I don't know why, lest some of the servants in the opposite wing might trace our progress towards the part of the castle unused by any one except my husband. Somehow, I had always the feeling that all the domestics, except Amante, were spies upon me, and that I was trammelled in a web of observation and unspoken limitation extending over all my actions.

But back to that night. As I mentioned, M. de la Tourelle's private room was connected to his dressing room, which led into his bedroom, and that opened into mine, the corner room. However, there were other doors into all these rooms, which opened into a long gallery lit by windows that faced the inner courtyard. I don’t remember discussing it much; we went through my room into my husband's apartment via the dressing room, but the door to his study was locked, so we had to turn back and go through the gallery to use the other door. I remember noticing a few things in those rooms that I was seeing for the first time. I recall the sweet perfume in the air, the silver scent bottles on his vanity, and the entire setup for bathing and dressing, which was even more luxurious than what he had provided for me. But the room itself was less grand in size than mine. In fact, the new buildings ended at the entrance to my husband's dressing room. There were deep window recesses in walls that were eight or nine feet thick, and even the walls between the rooms were three feet thick; however, thick, heavy drapes covered all the doors and windows, so I figured no one could hear what was happening in one room from another. We went back into my room and stepped into the gallery. We had to cover our candle, out of a fear we couldn’t explain, in case some of the servants in the opposite wing might notice our movement toward the part of the castle that was only used by my husband. Somehow, I always felt that all the staff, except Amante, were spying on me and that I was caught in a web of observation and unspoken restrictions that extended over everything I did.

There was a light in the upper room; we paused, and Amante would have again retreated, but I was chafing under the delays. What was the harm of my seeking my father's unopened letter to me in my husband's study? I, generally the coward, now blamed Amante for her unusual timidity. But the truth was, she had far more reason for suspicion as to the proceedings of that terrible household than I had ever known of. I urged her on, I pressed on myself; we came to the door, locked, but with the key in it; we turned it, we entered; the letters lay on the table, their white oblongs catching the light in an instant, and revealing themselves to my eager eyes, hungering after the words of love from my peaceful, distant home. But just as I pressed forward to examine the letters, the candle which Amante held, caught in some draught, went out, and we were in darkness. Amante proposed that we should carry the letters back to my salon, collecting them as well as we could in the dark, and returning all but the expected one for me; but I begged her to return to my room, where I kept tinder and flint, and to strike a fresh light; and so she went, and I remained alone in the room, of which I could only just distinguish the size, and the principal articles of furniture: a large table, with a deep, overhanging cloth, in the middle, escritoires and other heavy articles against the walls; all this I could see as I stood there, my hand on the table close by the letters, my face towards the window, which, both from the darkness of the wood growing high up the mountain-side and the faint light of the declining moon, seemed only like an oblong of paler purpler black than the shadowy room. How much I remembered from my one instantaneous glance before the candle went out, how much I saw as my eyes became accustomed to the darkness, I do not know, but even now, in my dreams, comes up that room of horror, distinct in its profound shadow. Amante could hardly have been gone a minute before I felt an additional gloom before the window, and heard soft movements outside—soft, but resolute, and continued until the end was accomplished, and the window raised.

There was a light in the upper room; we paused, and Amante almost backed away again, but I was getting impatient with the delays. What was the harm in me searching for my father's unopened letter to me in my husband's study? I, usually the coward, now found myself blaming Amante for her unusual nervousness. But the truth was, she had much more reason to be suspicious about the events in that terrible household than I had ever realized. I urged her on, and I pressed myself forward; we reached the door, locked, but with the key in it; we turned it, entered; the letters lay on the table, their white rectangles catching the light instantly, revealing themselves to my eager eyes, hungry for words of love from my peaceful, distant home. But just as I stepped forward to look at the letters, the candle Amante was holding flickered in a draft, went out, and we were plunged into darkness. Amante suggested we gather the letters to take back to my salon, collecting as many as we could in the dark, leaving all but the anticipated one for me; but I asked her to go back to my room, where I kept tinder and flint, and light a new candle; so she went, and I stayed alone in the room, of which I could barely make out the size and the main pieces of furniture: a large table with a deep, hanging cloth in the middle, writing desks and other heavy items against the walls; all this I could see as I stood there, my hand on the table close to the letters, my face toward the window, which, due to the darkness of the woods climbing up the mountainside and the faint light of the setting moon, looked like a rectangle of paler purple-black than the shadowy room. How much I remembered from my one quick glance before the candle went out, how much I saw as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I can’t say, but even now, in my dreams, that terrifying room reappears, clear in its deep shadows. Amante could hardly have been gone a minute before I sensed an added gloom outside the window, and heard soft movements—soft, but purposeful, continuing until the task was done, and the window was opened.

In mortal terror of people forcing an entrance at such an hour, and in such a manner as to leave no doubt of their purpose, I would have turned to fly when first I heard the noise, only that I feared by any quick motion to catch their attention, as I also ran the danger of doing by opening the door, which was all but closed, and to whose handlings I was unaccustomed. Again, quick as lightning, I bethought me of the hiding-place between the locked door to my husband's dressing-room and the portière which covered it; but I gave that up, I felt as if I could not reach it without screaming or fainting. So I sank down softly, and crept under the table, hidden, as I hoped, by the great, deep table-cover, with its heavy fringe. I had not recovered my swooning senses fully, and was trying to reassure myself as to my being in a place of comparative safety, for, above all things, I dreaded the betrayal of fainting, and struggled hard for such courage as I might attain by deadening myself to the danger I was in by inflicting intense pain on myself. You have often asked me the reason of that mark on my hand; it was where, in my agony, I bit out a piece of flesh with my relentless teeth, thankful for the pain, which helped to numb my terror. I say, I was but just concealed when I heard the window lifted, and one after another stepped over the sill, and stood by me so close that I could have touched their feet. Then they laughed and whispered; my brain swam so that I could not tell the meaning of their words, but I heard my husband's laughter among the rest—low, hissing, scornful—as he kicked something heavy that they had dragged in over the floor, and which lay near me; so near, that my husband's kick, in touching it, touched me too. I don't know why—I can't tell how—but some feeling, and not curiosity, prompted me to put out my hand, ever so softly, ever so little, and feel in the darkness for what lay spurned beside me. I stole my groping palm upon the clenched and chilly hand of a corpse!

In a state of fear that people would break in at such an hour with clear intentions, I wanted to run when I first heard the noise, but I was afraid that any sudden movement would draw their attention. I was also worried about opening the nearly closed door, which I wasn't used to handling. Quickly, I thought about hiding in the space between the locked door to my husband’s dressing room and the curtain that covered it, but I gave that idea up; it felt impossible to reach it without screaming or fainting. So, I quietly sank down and crawled under the table, hoping to be hidden by the large, deep tablecloth with its heavy fringe. I hadn’t fully regained my senses and was trying to reassure myself that I was somewhat safe because I was terrified of fainting. I fought hard to find courage by inflicting pain on myself to distract from the danger I was in. You’ve often asked about the mark on my hand; it’s from when I bit my own flesh in my agony, grateful for the pain that helped numb my terror. Just as I got concealed, I heard the window lift, and one by one, they climbed in, standing so close to me that I could have touched their feet. They laughed and whispered; my mind was spinning, and I couldn’t understand what they were saying, but I recognized my husband’s laughter among them—low, mocking, as he kicked something heavy they had brought in, which was right next to me; his kick connected with it and touched me too. I don’t know why, but something—not curiosity—compelled me to reach out my hand, ever so softly, in the dark to feel what lay beside me. My searching hand found the cold, clenched hand of a corpse!

Strange to say, this roused me to instant vividness of thought. Till this moment I had almost forgotten Amante; now I planned with feverish rapidity how I could give her a warning not to return; or rather, I should say, I tried to plan, for all my projects were utterly futile, as I might have seen from the first. I could only hope she would hear the voices of those who were now busy in trying to kindle a light, swearing awful oaths at the mislaid articles which would have enabled them to strike fire. I heard her step outside coming nearer and nearer; I saw from my hiding-place the line of light beneath the door more and more distinctly; close to it her footstep paused; the men inside—at the time I thought they had been only two, but I found out afterwards there were three—paused in their endeavours, and were quite still, as breathless as myself, I suppose. Then she slowly pushed the door open with gentle motion, to save her flickering candle from being again extinguished. For a moment all was still. Then I heard my husband say, as he advanced towards her (he wore riding-boots, the shape of which I knew well, as I could see them in the light),—

Strangely enough, this sparked an immediate clarity of thought in me. Until that moment, I had nearly forgotten about Amante; now I feverishly tried to plan how to warn her not to come back. Or rather, I should say I attempted to plan, but all my ideas were completely pointless, as I could have realized from the beginning. I could only hope she would hear the voices of those who were busy trying to start a fire, cursing loudly at the misplaced items that would have let them strike a spark. I heard her footsteps outside, getting closer and closer; from my hiding spot, I saw the line of light beneath the door become clearer and clearer; her footsteps paused right next to it; the men inside—at that time, I thought there were only two, but I later discovered there were three—stopped what they were doing, completely still, as breathless as I was, I assume. Then she slowly pushed the door open gently, trying to prevent her flickering candle from being blown out again. For a moment, everything was silent. Then I heard my husband say, as he stepped toward her (he was wearing riding boots, which I recognized well, as I could see them in the light),—

"Amante, may I ask what brings you here into my private room?"

"Amante, can I ask why you're in my private room?"

He stood between her and the dead body of a man, from which ghastly heap I shrank away as it almost touched me, so close were we all together. I could not tell whether she saw it or not; I could give her no warning, nor make any dumb utterance of signs to bid her what to say—if, indeed, I knew myself what would be best for her to say.

He stood between her and the lifeless body of a man, from which I recoiled as it nearly grazed me, we were all so close together. I couldn't tell if she saw it or not; I couldn't warn her or gesture for her to say something—if I even knew what would be best for her to say.

Her voice was quite changed when she spoke; quite hoarse, and very low; yet it was steady enough as she said, what was the truth, that she had come to look for a letter which she believed had arrived for me from Germany. Good, brave Amante! Not a word about me. M. de la Tourelle answered with a grim blasphemy and a fearful threat. He would have no one prying into his premises; madame should have her letters, if there were any, when he chose to give them to her, if, indeed, he thought it well to give them to her at all. As for Amante, this was her first warning, but it was also her last; and, taking the candle out of her hand, he turned her out of the room, his companions discreetly making a screen, so as to throw the corpse into deep shadow. I heard the key turn in the door after her—if I had ever had any thought of escape it was gone now. I only hoped that whatever was to befal me might soon be over, for the tension of nerve was growing more than I could bear. The instant she could be supposed to be out of hearing, two voices began speaking in the most angry terms to my husband, upbraiding him for not having detained her, gagged her—nay, one was for killing her, saying he had seen her eye fall on the face of the dead man, whom he now kicked in his passion. Though the form of their speech was as if they were speaking to equals, yet in their tone there was something of fear. I am sure my husband was their superior, or captain, or somewhat. He replied to them almost as if he were scoffing at them, saying it was such an expenditure of labour having to do with fools; that, ten to one, the woman was only telling the simple truth, and that she was frightened enough by discovering her master in his room to be thankful to escape and return to her mistress, to whom he could easily explain on the morrow how he happened to return in the dead of night. But his companions fell to cursing me, and saying that since M. de la Tourelle had been married he was fit for nothing but to dress himself fine and scent himself with perfume; that, as for me, they could have got him twenty girls prettier, and with far more spirit in them. He quietly answered that I suited him, and that was enough. All this time they were doing something—I could not see what—to the corpse; sometimes they were too busy rifling the dead body, I believe, to talk; again they let it fall with a heavy, resistless thud, and took to quarrelling. They taunted my husband with angry vehemence, enraged at his scoffing and scornful replies, his mocking laughter. Yes, holding up his poor dead victim, the better to strip him of whatever he wore that was valuable, I heard my husband laugh just as he had done when exchanging repartees in the little salon of the Rupprechts at Carlsruhe. I hated and dreaded him from that moment. At length, as if to make an end of the subject, he said, with cool determination in his voice,—

Her voice sounded really different when she spoke; it was quite hoarse and very quiet, but she managed to say, with steady conviction, that she had come to look for a letter she thought had arrived for me from Germany. Good, brave Amante! Not a word about me. M. de la Tourelle responded with a harsh curse and a terrifying threat. He wouldn’t let anyone snoop around his place; madame would get her letters, if there were any, when he decided to give them to her, if he even thought it was a good idea to give them at all. As for Amante, this was her first warning, but it would also be her last; taking the candle from her, he threw her out of the room while his companions discreetly created a barrier to keep the corpse in deep shadow. I heard the key turn in the door after she left—if I had ever thought about escaping, that was gone now. I just hoped whatever was going to happen to me would be over soon because the tension in my nerves was becoming unbearable. As soon as she could be assumed to be out of earshot, two voices started yelling angrily at my husband, blaming him for not detaining her, gagging her—one even suggested killing her, saying he had seen her look at the dead man, whom he now kicked in his rage. Although they spoke as if addressing equals, their tone had a hint of fear. I was sure my husband was their superior, or leader, or something like that. He answered them almost as if he was mocking them, saying it was such a waste of effort to deal with fools; that, more likely than not, the woman was just telling the plain truth, and that she was probably scared enough after seeing her master in his room to be relieved to escape and go back to her mistress, to whom he could easily explain the next day how he ended up returning in the middle of the night. But his companions began cursing me, claiming that since M. de la Tourelle got married, he was good for nothing but dressing well and dousing himself in perfume; as for me, they said they could have found him twenty girls prettier and with much more spirit. He calmly replied that I suited him, and that was enough. All this time they were doing something—I couldn’t see what—with the corpse; sometimes they seemed too busy searching the dead body, I think, to talk; other times they let it drop heavily, and started arguing. They yelled at my husband in fury, furious at his mocking responses and laughter. Yes, while holding up his poor dead victim to better strip him of whatever valuables he had on, I heard my husband laugh just as he had when exchanging witty banter in the little salon of the Rupprechts at Carlsruhe. From that moment, I hated and feared him. Finally, as if to end the discussion, he said, with a cool determination in his voice,—

"Now, my good friends, what is the use of all this talking, when you know in your hearts that, if I suspected my wife of knowing more than I chose of my affairs, she would not outlive the day? Remember Victorine. Because she merely joked about my affairs in an imprudent manner, and rejected my advice to keep a prudent tongue—to see what she liked, but ask nothing and say nothing—she has gone a long journey—longer than to Paris."

"Now, my good friends, what's the point of all this talking when you know deep down that if I thought my wife knew more about my business than I wanted her to, she wouldn’t make it through the day? Remember Victorine. Because she just joked about my affairs in a careless way and ignored my advice to keep her mouth shut—to look at what she wanted, but not ask questions or say anything—she’s taken a long trip—further than to Paris."

"But this one is different to her; we knew all that Madame Victorine knew, she was such a chatterbox; but this one may find out a vast deal, and never breathe a word about it, she is so sly. Some fine day we may have the country raised, and the gendarmes down upon us from Strasburg, and all owing to your pretty doll, with her cunning ways of coming over you."

"But this one is different for her; we knew everything Madame Victorine knew, she was such a chatterbox; but this one might uncover a lot and never say a word about it, she's so sneaky. One fine day, we might have the authorities after us from Strasburg, all because of your pretty doll, with her clever ways of charming you."

I think this roused M. de la Tourelle a little from his contemptuous indifference, for he ground an oath through his teeth, and said, "Feel! this dagger is sharp, Henri. If my wife breathes a word, and I am such a fool as not to have stopped her mouth effectually before she can bring down gendarmes upon us, just let that good steel find its way to my heart. Let her guess but one tittle, let her have but one slight suspicion that I am not a 'grand propriétaire,' much less imagine that I am a chief of Chauffeurs, and she follows Victorine on the long journey beyond Paris that very day."

I think this jolted M. de la Tourelle out of his dismissive attitude a bit, because he muttered an oath under his breath and said, "Feel this! This dagger is sharp, Henri. If my wife says a word, and I'm such an idiot that I haven't shut her up effectively before she can bring the cops down on us, just let this good steel reach my heart. If she suspects even the slightest thing, if she has even a hint that I’m not a 'grand propriétaire,' much less think I’m a leader of the Chauffeurs, she’ll go after Victorine on the long trip beyond Paris without delay."

"She'll outwit you yet; or I never judged women well. Those still silent ones are the devil. She'll be off during some of your absences, having picked out some secret that will break us all on the wheel."

"She'll outsmart you yet; or I've never understood women well. Those quiet ones are tricky. She'll slip away during some of your absences, having discovered some secret that will ruin us all."

"Bah!" said his voice; and then in a minute he added, "Let her go if she will. But, where she goes, I will follow; so don't cry before you're hurt."

"Bah!" his voice exclaimed, and then in a moment he added, "Let her go if she wants. But wherever she goes, I'll follow; so don’t worry until it happens."

By this time, they had nearly stripped the body; and the conversation turned on what they should do with it. I learnt that the dead man was the Sieur de Poissy, a neighbouring gentleman, whom I had often heard of as hunting with my husband. I had never seen him, but they spoke as if he had come upon them while they were robbing some Cologne merchant, torturing him after the cruel practice of the Chauffeurs, by roasting the feet of their victims in order to compel them to reveal any hidden circumstances connected with their wealth, of which the Chauffeurs afterwards made use; and this Sieur de Poissy coming down upon them, and recognising M. de la Tourelle, they had killed him, and brought him thither after nightfall. I heard him whom I called my husband, laugh his little light laugh as he spoke of the way in which the dead body had been strapped before one of the riders, in such a way that it appeared to any passer-by as if, in truth, the murderer were tenderly supporting some sick person. He repeated some mocking reply of double meaning, which he himself had given to some one who made inquiry. He enjoyed the play upon words, softly applauding his own wit. And all the time the poor helpless outstretched arms of the dead lay close to his dainty boot! Then another stooped (my heart stopped beating), and picked up a letter lying on the ground—a letter that had dropped out of M. de Poissy's pocket—a letter from his wife, full of tender words of endearment and pretty babblings of love. This was read aloud, with coarse ribald comments on every sentence, each trying to outdo the previous speaker. When they came to some pretty words about a sweet Maurice, their little child away with its mother on some visit, they laughed at M. de la Tourelle, and told him that he would be hearing such woman's drivelling some day. Up to that moment, I think, I had only feared him, but his unnatural, half-ferocious reply made me hate even more than I dreaded him. But now they grew weary of their savage merriment; the jewels and watch had been apprised, the money and papers examined; and apparently there was some necessity for the body being interred quietly and before daybreak. They had not dared to leave him where he was slain for fear lest people should come and recognise him, and raise the hue and cry upon them. For they all along spoke as if it was their constant endeavour to keep the immediate neighbourhood of Les Rochers in the most orderly and tranquil condition, so as never to give cause for visits from the gendarmes. They disputed a little as to whether they should make their way into the castle larder through the gallery, and satisfy their hunger before the hasty interment, or afterwards. I listened with eager feverish interest as soon as this meaning of their speeches reached my hot and troubled brain, for at the time the words they uttered seemed only to stamp themselves with terrible force on my memory, so that I could hardly keep from repeating them aloud like a dull, miserable, unconscious echo; but my brain was numb to the sense of what they said, unless I myself were named, and then, I suppose, some instinct of self-preservation stirred within me, and quickened my sense. And how I strained my ears, and nerved my hands and limbs, beginning to twitch with convulsive movements, which I feared might betray me! I gathered every word they spoke, not knowing which proposal to wish for, but feeling that whatever was finally decided upon, my only chance of escape was drawing near. I once feared lest my husband should go to his bedroom before I had had that one chance, in which case he would most likely have perceived my absence. He said that his hands were soiled (I shuddered, for it might be with life-blood), and he would go and cleanse them; but some bitter jest turned his purpose, and he left the room with the other two—left it by the gallery door. Left me alone in the dark with the stiffening corpse!

By this time, they had almost stripped the body, and the conversation turned to what they should do with it. I learned that the dead man was the Sieur de Poissy, a neighbor who I had often heard about as someone who hunted with my husband. I had never seen him, but they talked as if he had come upon them while they were robbing some Cologne merchant, torturing him in the brutal style of the Chauffeurs, by roasting the victims' feet to make them reveal hidden information about their wealth, which the Chauffeurs would later exploit. When the Sieur de Poissy stumbled upon them and recognized M. de la Tourelle, they killed him and brought him there after dark. I heard the man I called my husband laugh his light, mocking laugh as he talked about how the dead body had been strapped before one of the riders, making it seem to any passerby that the murderer was gently supporting a sick person. He repeated a sarcastic, double-meaning reply he had given someone who inquired about the situation, enjoying his wordplay and softly applauding his own cleverness. All the while, the poor, helpless outstretched arms of the dead man lay close to his fancy boot! Then another man bent down (my heart stopped) and picked up a letter lying on the ground—a letter that had fallen out of M. de Poissy's pocket—a letter from his wife, full of loving words and sweet nothings. They read it aloud, making crude jokes about every sentence, each trying to be funnier than the last. When they got to some sweet lines about a little Maurice, their child who was away visiting with its mother, they laughed at M. de la Tourelle and teased him that he would be hearing such "woman's nonsense" someday. Until that moment, I think I had only feared him, but his unnatural, half-ferocious response made me hate him even more than I feared him. But soon, they grew tired of their brutal fun; they had appraised the jewels and watch, examined the money and papers, and apparently, there was some need to bury the body quietly and before dawn. They didn’t want to leave him where he was killed for fear people would come by, recognize him, and raise an alarm. They kept talking as if it was their constant goal to maintain a calm and orderly neighborhood around Les Rochers, to avoid any visits from the police. They bickered a bit about whether to head into the castle kitchen through the gallery and satisfy their hunger before the hasty burial or afterward. I listened with desperate interest as soon as the meaning of their words hit my troubled mind, for initially, their words seemed to stamp themselves with terrible force on my memory, making it hard to keep from repeating them aloud like a dull, miserable echo; but my mind was numb to what they said unless I was mentioned, and then, I suppose, some instinct for self-preservation stirred within me and sharpened my senses. I strained to hear every word they said, unsure which option to hope for, but sensing that whatever was ultimately decided would bring my chance of escape closer. I once worried my husband might go to his bedroom before I had that one chance, which would mean he would likely notice my absence. He said his hands were dirty (I shuddered, thinking it might be blood), and he would go wash them; but a bitter joke changed his mind, and he left the room with the other two—exiting through the gallery door. He left me alone in the dark with the stiffening corpse!

Now, now was my time, if ever; and yet I could not move. It was not my cramped and stiffened joints that crippled me, it was the sensation of that dead man's close presence. I almost fancied—I almost fancy still—I heard the arm nearest to me move; lift itself up, as if once more imploring, and fall in dead despair. At that fancy—if fancy it were—I screamed aloud in mad terror, and the sound of my own strange voice broke the spell. I drew myself to the side of the table farthest from the corpse, with as much slow caution as if I really could have feared the clutch of that poor dead arm, powerless for evermore. I softly raised myself up, and stood sick and trembling, holding by the table, too dizzy to know what to do next. I nearly fainted, when a low voice spoke—when Amante, from the outside of the door, whispered, "Madame!" The faithful creature had been on the watch, had heard my scream, and having seen the three ruffians troop along the gallery down the stairs, and across the court to the offices in the other wing of the castle, she had stolen to the door of the room in which I was. The sound of her voice gave me strength; I walked straight towards it, as one benighted on a dreary moor, suddenly perceiving the small steady light which tells of human dwellings, takes heart, and steers straight onward. Where I was, where that voice was, I knew not; but go to it I must, or die. The door once opened—I know not by which of us—I fell upon her neck, grasping her tight, till my hands ached with the tension of their hold. Yet she never uttered a word. Only she took me up in her vigorous arms, and bore me to my room, and laid me on my bed. I do not know more; as soon as I was placed there I lost sense; I came to myself with a horrible dread lest my husband was by me, with a belief that he was in the room, in hiding, waiting to hear my first words, watching for the least sign of the terrible knowledge I possessed to murder me. I dared not breathe quicker, I measured and timed each heavy inspiration; I did not speak, nor move, nor even open my eyes, for long after I was in my full, my miserable senses. I heard some one treading softly about the room, as if with a purpose, not as if for curiosity, or merely to beguile the time; some one passed in and out of the salon; and I still lay quiet, feeling as if death were inevitable, but wishing that the agony of death were past. Again faintness stole over me; but just as I was sinking into the horrible feeling of nothingness, I heard Amante's voice close to me, saying,—

Now was my moment, if there ever was one; but I couldn’t move. It wasn’t my stiff, cramped joints that held me back; it was the feeling of that dead man's eerie presence. I almost imagined — and still kind of do — that I heard the arm nearest to me move; lift itself up as if pleading one last time, then fall back in dead despair. At that thought — if it even was just a thought — I screamed out in sheer terror, and the sound of my own strange voice broke the spell. I crept to the side of the table farthest from the corpse, moving as cautiously as if I truly feared the grasp of that poor lifeless arm, which was powerless forever. I slowly stood up, trembling and sick, holding onto the table, too dizzy to know what to do next. I nearly fainted when a low voice called out — when Amante, from outside the door, whispered, "Madame!" The loyal woman had been on alert, had heard my scream, and after seeing the three thugs walk down the gallery, down the stairs, and across the courtyard to the offices in another wing of the castle, she had quietly made her way to my door. The sound of her voice gave me strength; I walked toward it, like someone lost on a dreary moor, suddenly spotting a small, steady light that indicates human homes, finding courage and pushing on. Where I was, or where that voice came from, I didn’t know; but I had to go to it, or I would die. When the door opened — I’m not sure who did it — I threw myself into her arms, holding her tightly until my hands ached from the pressure. Yet she didn’t say a word. She just lifted me in her strong arms and carried me to my room, laying me down on my bed. I don’t remember anything after that; as soon as I was placed there, I lost consciousness. I awoke in a terrible panic, fearing that my husband was there with me, convinced he was hiding in the room, waiting to hear my first words, looking for any sign of the dreadful secret I held that could lead to my death. I didn’t dare breathe any faster, counting and timing each heavy breath; I didn’t speak, move, or even open my eyes for a long time, despite being fully aware of my miserable state. I heard someone moving softly around the room, not out of curiosity, but with purpose; someone passed in and out of the salon; and I lay still, feeling like death was certain but wishing the agony of it was already over. Faintness washed over me once again; just as I was slipping into that horrible sensation of nothingness, I heard Amante's voice close to me, saying, —

"Drink this, madame, and let us begone. All is ready."

"Drink this, ma'am, and let's get going. Everything is ready."

I let her put her arm under my head and raise me, and pour something down my throat. All the time she kept talking in a quiet, measured voice, unlike her own, so dry and authoritative; she told me that a suit of her clothes lay ready for me, that she herself was as much disguised as the circumstances permitted her to be, that what provisions I had left from my supper were stowed away in her pockets, and so she went on, dwelling on little details of the most commonplace description, but never alluding for an instant to the fearful cause why flight was necessary. I made no inquiry as to how she knew, or what she knew. I never asked her either then or afterwards, I could not bear it—we kept our dreadful secret close. But I suppose she must have been in the dressing-room adjoining, and heard all.

I let her put her arm under my head and lift me up, and pour something down my throat. The whole time, she spoke in a calm, deliberate voice, unlike her usual tone, so dry and commanding; she told me that a suit of her clothes was ready for me, that she was dressed as much as the situation allowed, and that whatever food I had left from dinner was tucked away in her pockets. She continued, focusing on little details that were completely mundane, but she never mentioned the terrifying reason we had to escape. I didn’t ask how she knew or what she knew. I never asked her then or later because I couldn’t handle it—we kept our awful secret close. But I guess she must have been in the dressing room next door and heard everything.

In fact, I dared not speak even to her, as if there were anything beyond the most common event in life in our preparing thus to leave the house of blood by stealth in the dead of night. She gave me directions—short condensed directions, without reasons—just as you do to a child; and like a child I obeyed her. She went often to the door and listened; and often, too, she went to the window, and looked anxiously out. For me, I saw nothing but her, and I dared not let my eyes wander from her for a minute; and I heard nothing in the deep midnight silence but her soft movements, and the heavy beating of my own heart. At last she took my hand, and led me in the dark, through the salon, once more into the terrible gallery, where across the black darkness the windows admitted pale sheeted ghosts of light upon the floor. Clinging to her I went; unquestioning—for she was human sympathy to me after the isolation of my unspeakable terror. On we went, turning to the left instead of to the right, past my suite of sitting-rooms where the gilding was red with blood, into that unknown wing of the castle that fronted the main road lying parallel far below. She guided me along the basement passages to which we had now descended, until we came to a little open door, through which the air blew chill and cold, bringing for the first time a sensation of life to me. The door led into a kind of cellar, through which we groped our way to an opening like a window, but which, instead of being glazed, was only fenced with iron bars, two of which were loose, as Amante evidently knew, for she took them out with the ease of one who had performed the action often before, and then helped me to follow her out into the free, open air.

In fact, I didn't even dare to speak to her, as if there was anything unusual about our stealthy escape from the house of blood in the dead of night. She gave me brief, condensed instructions without any explanations—just like you would to a child; and like a child, I obeyed her. She frequently went to the door to listen and often checked the window, looking out anxiously. As for me, I saw nothing but her, and I didn’t dare let my gaze wander for even a minute; all I could hear in the deep midnight silence were her soft movements and the heavy pounding of my own heart. Finally, she took my hand and led me in the dark through the salon, back into the dreadful gallery, where the windows let in pale, ghostly shadows of light onto the floor. I clung to her, unquestioning—she was my only source of human compassion after the isolation of my indescribable fear. We continued on, turning left instead of right, passing my sitting rooms where the gilding was stained red with blood, into that unknown part of the castle that faced the main road far below. She guided me through the basement passages we had now descended until we reached a little open door, through which cold air blew, bringing me my first real sensation of life. The door led to a sort of cellar, and we groped our way to an opening that looked like a window, but instead of being glazed, it was only barred with iron, two of which were loose, as Amante clearly knew. She removed them easily, as if she had done it many times before, and then helped me follow her out into the fresh, open air.

We stole round the end of the building, and on turning the corner—she first—I felt her hold on me tighten for an instant, and the next step I, too, heard distant voices, and the blows of a spade upon the heavy soil, for the night was very warm and still.

We sneaked around the back of the building, and as we turned the corner—her in front—I felt her grip on me tighten for a moment, and with the next step, I heard distant voices and the sound of a spade hitting the hard ground, because the night was really warm and quiet.

We had not spoken a word; we did not speak now. Touch was safer and as expressive. She turned down towards the high road; I followed. I did not know the path; we stumbled again and again, and I was much bruised; so doubtless was she; but bodily pain did me good. At last, we were on the plainer path of the high road.

We hadn't said a word; we weren't speaking now. Touch felt safer and was just as expressive. She headed down toward the main road; I followed. I didn’t know the way; we tripped over and over, and I got pretty bruised; she probably did too; but the physical pain felt good to me. Finally, we were on the clearer path of the main road.

I had such faith in her that I did not venture to speak, even when she paused, as wondering to which hand she should turn. But now, for the first time, she spoke:—

I had so much confidence in her that I didn't dare to say anything, even when she hesitated, as if trying to decide which way to go. But now, for the first time, she spoke:—

"Which way did you come when he brought you here first?"

"Which way did you come when he first brought you here?"

I pointed, I could not speak.

I pointed; I couldn't say anything.

We turned in the opposite direction; still going along the high road. In about an hour, we struck up to the mountain-side, scrambling far up before we even dared to rest; far up and away again before day had fully dawned. Then we looked about for some place of rest and concealment: and now we dared to speak in whispers. Amante told me that she had locked the door of communication between his bedroom and mine, and, as in a dream, I was aware that she had also locked and brought away the key of the door between the latter and the salon.

We changed direction and kept walking along the main road. After about an hour, we headed up the mountain, climbing a long way before we even felt it was okay to take a break; we went further up and away even before the sun had fully come up. Then we looked for a place to rest and hide, and now we felt safe enough to speak in low voices. Amante told me that she had locked the door that connected his bedroom to mine, and I vaguely realized that she had also locked and taken the key to the door that connected my room to the living room.

"He will have been too busy this night to think much about you—he will suppose you are asleep—I shall be the first to be missed; but they will only just now be discovering our loss."

"He’s been too busy tonight to think much about you—he probably thinks you’re asleep—I’ll be the first to be noticed as missing; but they’ll only just be realizing our absence."

I remember those last words of hers made me pray to go on; I felt as if we were losing precious time in thinking either of rest or concealment; but she hardly replied to me, so busy was she in seeking out some hiding-place. At length, giving it up in despair, we proceeded onwards a little way; the mountain-side sloped downwards rapidly, and in the full morning light we saw ourselves in a narrow valley, made by a stream which forced its way along it. About a mile lower down there rose the pale blue smoke of a village, a mill-wheel was lashing up the water close at hand, though out of sight. Keeping under the cover of every sheltering tree or bush, we worked our way down past the mill, down to a one-arched bridge, which doubtless formed part of the road between the village and the mill.

I remember her last words made me want to keep going; it felt like we were wasting precious time thinking about resting or hiding. But she hardly responded, too focused on finding a place to hide. Finally, in despair, we moved on a little bit; the side of the mountain dropped off quickly, and in the bright morning light, we found ourselves in a narrow valley created by a stream that pushed its way through. About a mile down, we could see the pale blue smoke rising from a village, and we could hear a mill-wheel splashing water nearby, even if we couldn't see it. Staying hidden under every tree or bush, we made our way past the mill, down to a one-arched bridge that clearly connected the village to the mill.

"This will do," said she; and we crept under the space, and climbing a little way up the rough stone-work, we seated ourselves on a projecting ledge, and crouched in the deep damp shadow. Amante sat a little above me, and made me lay my head on her lap. Then she fed me, and took some food herself; and opening out her great dark cloak, she covered up every light-coloured speck about us; and thus we sat, shivering and shuddering, yet feeling a kind of rest through it all, simply from the fact that motion was no longer imperative, and that during the daylight our only chance of safety was to be still. But the damp shadow in which we were sitting was blighting, from the circumstance of the sunlight never penetrating there; and I dreaded lest, before night and the time for exertion again came on, I should feel illness creeping all over me. To add to our discomfort, it had rained the whole day long, and the stream, fed by a thousand little mountain brooklets, began to swell into a torrent, rushing over the stones with a perpetual and dizzying noise.

"This is good enough," she said; and we crawled beneath the space, climbing a little way up the rough stone, we sat down on a ledge that stuck out and huddled in the deep damp shadow. Amante was a bit above me and made me rest my head on her lap. Then she fed me and ate some food herself; and opening her large dark cloak, she covered up every light-colored spot around us; and so we sat, shivering and trembling, yet feeling a sense of rest through it all, simply because we no longer had to move, and our only chance of safety during the day was to stay still. But the damp shadow where we were sitting was oppressive, as sunlight never reached it; and I dreaded that, before nightfall and the time for action came again, I would start feeling ill. To make things worse, it had rained all day long, and the stream, fed by countless little mountain brooks, began to swell into a torrent, rushing over the stones with a constant and dizzying roar.

Every now and then I was wakened from the painful doze into which I continually fell, by a sound of horses' feet over our head: sometimes lumbering heavily as if dragging a burden, sometimes rattling and galloping, and with the sharper cry of men's voices coming cutting through the roar of the waters. At length, day fell. We had to drop into the stream, which came above our knees as we waded to the bank. There we stood, stiff and shivering. Even Amante's courage seemed to fail.

Every now and then, I was jolted awake from the painful drowsiness I kept falling into by the sound of horses' hooves overhead: sometimes heavy and lumbering, as if carrying a load, other times rattling and galloping, accompanied by the sharper sounds of men's voices cutting through the roar of the water. Eventually, daylight arrived. We had to step into the stream, which came up to our knees as we waded to the bank. There we stood, stiff and shivering. Even Amante's courage seemed to waver.

"We must pass this night in shelter, somehow," said she. For indeed the rain was coming down pitilessly. I said nothing. I thought that surely the end must be death in some shape; and I only hoped that to death might not be added the terror of the cruelty of men. In a minute or so she had resolved on her course of action. We went up the stream to the mill. The familiar sounds, the scent of the wheat, the flour whitening the walls—all reminded me of home, and it seemed to me as if I must struggle out of this nightmare and waken, and find myself once more a happy girl by the Neckar-side. They were long in unbarring the door at which Amante had knocked: at length, an old feeble voice inquired who was there, and what was sought? Amante answered shelter from the storm for two women; but the old woman replied, with suspicious hesitation, that she was sure it was a man who was asking for shelter, and that she could not let us in. But at length she satisfied herself, and unbarred the heavy door, and admitted us. She was not an unkindly woman; but her thoughts all travelled in one circle, and that was, that her master, the miller, had told her on no account to let any man into the place during his absence, and that she did not know if he would not think two women as bad; and yet that as we were not men, no one could say she had disobeyed him, for it was a shame to let a dog be out such a night as this. Amante, with ready wit, told her to let no one know that we had taken shelter there that night, and that then her master could not blame her; and while she was thus enjoining secrecy as the wisest course, with a view to far other people than the miller, she was hastily helping me to take off my wet clothes, and spreading them, as well as the brown mantle that had covered us both, before the great stove which warmed the room with the effectual heat that the old woman's failing vitality required. All this time the poor creature was discussing with herself as to whether she had disobeyed orders, in a kind of garrulous way that made me fear much for her capability of retaining anything secret if she was questioned. By-and-by, she wandered away to an unnecessary revelation of her master's whereabouts: gone to help in the search for his landlord, the Sieur de Poissy, who lived at the château just above, and who had not returned from his chase the day before; so the intendant imagined he might have met with some accident, and had summoned the neighbours to beat the forest and the hill-side. She told us much besides, giving us to understand that she would fain meet with a place as housekeeper where there were more servants and less to do, as her life here was very lonely and dull, especially since her master's son had gone away—gone to the wars. She then took her supper, which was evidently apportioned out to her with a sparing hand, as, even if the idea had come into her head, she had not enough to offer us any. Fortunately, warmth was all that we required, and that, thanks to Amante's cares, was returning to our chilled bodies. After supper, the old woman grew drowsy; but she seemed uncomfortable at the idea of going to sleep and leaving us still in the house. Indeed, she gave us pretty broad hints as to the propriety of our going once more out into the bleak and stormy night; but we begged to be allowed to stay under shelter of some kind; and, at last, a bright idea came over her, and she bade us mount by a ladder to a kind of loft, which went half over the lofty mill-kitchen in which we were sitting. We obeyed her—what else could we do?—and found ourselves in a spacious floor, without any safeguard or wall, boarding, or railing, to keep us from falling over into the kitchen in case we went too near the edge. It was, in fact, the store-room or garret for the household. There was bedding piled up, boxes and chests, mill sacks, the winter store of apples and nuts, bundles of old clothes, broken furniture, and many other things. No sooner were we up there, than the old woman dragged the ladder, by which we had ascended, away with a chuckle, as if she was now secure that we could do no mischief, and sat herself down again once more, to doze and await her master's return. We pulled out some bedding, and gladly laid ourselves down in our dried clothes and in some warmth, hoping to have the sleep we so much needed to refresh us and prepare us for the next day. But I could not sleep, and I was aware, from her breathing, that Amante was equally wakeful. We could both see through the crevices between the boards that formed the flooring into the kitchen below, very partially lighted by the common lamp that hung against the wall near the stove on the opposite side to that on which we were.

"We have to find shelter for the night, somehow," she said. The rain was pouring down relentlessly. I didn't respond. I thought that surely death was imminent in some form, and I just hoped that the cruelty of men wouldn't add to our demise. After a minute or so, she decided on our next move. We headed upstream to the mill. The familiar sounds, the scent of wheat, the flour covering the walls—all reminded me of home, making me feel like I should wake up from this nightmare and find myself once again a happy girl by the Neckar. They took a long time to unbar the door that Amante had knocked on. Finally, an old, weak voice asked who was there and what we wanted. Amante replied that we sought shelter from the storm. However, the old woman hesitated, clearly suspicious, and insisted it sounded like a man wanting to come in, so she couldn't let us in. But eventually, she reassured herself and unlatched the heavy door to admit us. She wasn't unkind, but her thoughts were fixated on one thing: her boss, the miller, had told her never to let a man in while he was gone, and she wasn't sure if he would see two women as any better. Yet, since we weren't men, she could argue that she hadn’t disobeyed him, especially since it would be wrong to let a dog endure a night like this. Amante cleverly suggested that no one should know we had taken refuge there that night, which meant her boss couldn’t blame her; and while she was insisting on secrecy for reasons far beyond the miller, she was quickly helping me out of my wet clothes and spreading them, along with the brown cloak that had covered us both, in front of the large stove that warmed the room in a way the old woman needed. All this time, the poor woman was talking to herself about whether she had disobeyed orders, chattering in a way that made me worry about her ability to keep a secret if questioned. Eventually, she started sharing unnecessary details about her boss’s whereabouts: he had gone to help search for his landlord, the Sieur de Poissy, who lived at the château nearby and hadn’t returned from his hunt the day before. The steward thought he might have had an accident and had called the neighbors to search the forest and hillside. She shared more with us, hinting that she wished to find a housekeeper position where there were more staff and less work, as her life there was lonely and dull, especially since her master's son had gone off to war. She then had her supper, which she obviously received sparingly, and though the idea might have crossed her mind, she didn’t have enough even to offer us any. Luckily, all we needed was warmth, and thanks to Amante's attentiveness, that warmth was returning to our chilled bodies. After supper, the old woman felt drowsy, but she seemed uneasy about leaving us alone in the house while she slept. In fact, she dropped pretty strong hints that we should head back out into the harsh, stormy night; but we pleaded to be allowed to stay sheltered. Finally, she had a bright idea and instructed us to climb a ladder to a kind of loft that extended over half of the tall mill kitchen where we were. We complied—what else could we do?—and found ourselves in a spacious upper floor without any guardrail or wall to prevent us from falling into the kitchen if we got too close to the edge. It was essentially the storeroom or attic for the household, piled with bedding, boxes, chests, mill sacks, a winter supply of apples and nuts, bundles of old clothes, broken furniture, and many other items. As soon as we were up there, the old woman pulled the ladder away with a chuckle, as if now she felt certain we couldn't cause any trouble, and sat down again to doze while waiting for her master's return. We pulled out some bedding and gladly lay down in our dry clothes, hoping for the much-needed rest to refresh us for the next day. But I couldn't sleep, and I could tell from Amante's breathing that she was also wide awake. We could both see through the cracks between the boards of the floor into the dimly lit kitchen below, illuminated only by the lamp hanging on the wall near the stove, which was on the opposite side from where we were.

 

PORTION III.

SECTION III.

Far on in the night there were voices outside reached us in our hiding-place; an angry knocking at the door, and we saw through the chinks the old woman rouse herself up to go and open it for her master, who came in, evidently half drunk. To my sick horror, he was followed by Lefebvre, apparently as sober and wily as ever. They were talking together as they came in, disputing about something; but the miller stopped the conversation to swear at the old woman for having fallen asleep, and, with tipsy anger, and even with blows, drove the poor old creature out of the kitchen to bed. Then he and Lefebvre went on talking—about the Sieur de Poissy's disappearance. It seemed that Lefebvre had been out all day, along with other of my husband's men, ostensibly assisting in the search; in all probability trying to blind the Sieur de Poissy's followers by putting them on a wrong scent, and also, I fancied, from one or two of Lefebvre's sly questions, combining the hidden purpose of discovering us.

Late at night, we heard voices outside our hiding spot; there was angry knocking at the door, and we watched through the cracks as the old woman got up to open it for her master, who came in looking clearly drunk. To my sick horror, he was followed by Lefebvre, who seemed as clever and sharp as ever. They were talking as they entered, arguing about something; but the miller interrupted the conversation to yell at the old woman for falling asleep and, in a tipsy rage, even hit her, sending the poor old woman off to bed. Then he and Lefebvre continued their conversation—about the disappearance of the Sieur de Poissy. It seemed that Lefebvre had been out all day with some of my husband's men, supposedly helping with the search; but I suspected he was actually trying to mislead the Sieur de Poissy's followers and, from a few sly questions he asked, I felt he might also have a hidden agenda to find us.

Although the miller was tenant and vassal to the Sieur de Poissy, he seemed to me to be much more in league with the people of M. de la Tourelle. He was evidently aware, in part, of the life which Lefebvre and the others led; although, again, I do not suppose he knew or imagined one-half of their crimes; and also, I think, he was seriously interested in discovering the fate of his master, little suspecting Lefebvre of murder or violence. He kept talking himself, and letting out all sorts of thoughts and opinions; watched by the keen eyes of Lefebvre gleaming out below his shaggy eyebrows. It was evidently not the cue of the latter to let out that his master's wife had escaped from that vile and terrible den; but though he never breathed a word relating to us, not the less was I certain he was thirsting for our blood, and lying in wait for us at every turn of events. Presently he got up and took his leave; and the miller bolted him out, and stumbled off to bed. Then we fell asleep, and slept sound and long.

Although the miller was a tenant and vassal to Sieur de Poissy, he seemed to be much more aligned with the people of M. de la Tourelle. He was clearly aware, to some extent, of the life that Lefebvre and the others led; however, I don’t think he knew or imagined half of their crimes. I also believe he was genuinely interested in finding out what happened to his master, not suspecting Lefebvre of murder or violence. He kept expressing his thoughts and opinions, watched closely by Lefebvre's sharp eyes peering out from under his shaggy eyebrows. It was clear that Lefebvre had no intention of revealing that his master’s wife had escaped from that awful and dreadful place; yet even though he never mentioned us, I was certain he was eager for our blood and waiting to ambush us at every turn. Eventually, he got up and took his leave; the miller locked him out and stumbled off to bed. Then we fell asleep and slept soundly and deeply.

The next morning, when I awoke, I saw Amante, half raised, resting on one hand, and eagerly gazing, with straining eyes, into the kitchen below. I looked too, and both heard and saw the miller and two of his men eagerly and loudly talking about the old woman, who had not appeared as usual to make the fire in the stove, and prepare her master's breakfast, and who now, late on in the morning, had been found dead in her bed; whether from the effect of her master's blows the night before, or from natural causes, who can tell? The miller's conscience upbraided him a little, I should say, for he was eagerly declaring his value for his housekeeper, and repeating how often she had spoken of the happy life she led with him. The men might have their doubts, but they did not wish to offend the miller, and all agreed that the necessary steps should be taken for a speedy funeral. And so they went out, leaving us in our loft, but so much alone, that, for the first time almost, we ventured to speak freely, though still in a hushed voice, pausing to listen continually. Amante took a more cheerful view of the whole occurrence than I did. She said that, had the old woman lived, we should have had to depart that morning, and that this quiet departure would have been the best thing we could have had to hope for, as, in all probability, the housekeeper would have told her master of us and of our resting-place, and this fact would, sooner or later, have been brought to the knowledge of those from whom we most desired to keep it concealed; but that now we had time to rest, and a shelter to rest in, during the first hot pursuit, which we knew to a fatal certainty was being carried on. The remnants of our food, and the stored-up fruit, would supply us with provision; the only thing to be feared was, that something might be required from the loft, and the miller or some one else mount up in search of it. But even then, with a little arrangement of boxes and chests, one part might be so kept in shadow that we might yet escape observation. All this comforted me a little; but, I asked, how were we ever to escape? The ladder was taken away, which was our only means of descent. But Amante replied that she could make a sufficient ladder of the rope lying coiled among other things, to drop us down the ten feet or so—with the advantage of its being portable, so that we might carry it away, and thus avoid all betrayal of the fact that any one had ever been hidden in the loft.

The next morning, when I woke up, I saw Amante, propped up on one hand, eagerly peering into the kitchen below. I looked too, and both of us heard and saw the miller and two of his men excitedly and loudly discussing the old woman, who hadn’t shown up as usual to light the stove and prepare her master’s breakfast, and who was now found dead in her bed later in the morning. Whether it was from her master's blows the night before or natural causes, who knows? The miller's conscience seemed to bother him a little; he was passionately expressing how much he valued his housekeeper and recalling how often she mentioned the happy life she had with him. The men might have had their doubts, but they didn’t want to upset the miller, and all agreed that the necessary steps should be taken for a quick funeral. They left us in our loft, feeling so alone that, for the first time, we dared to speak freely, though still in a quiet voice, always pausing to listen. Amante had a more optimistic view of the whole situation than I did. She said that if the old woman had lived, we would have had to leave that morning, and that this quiet departure would have been the best outcome for us. Most likely, the housekeeper would have informed her master about us and our hiding place, leading to our secret being discovered by those we wanted to keep it from. Now, though, we had time to rest and a place to stay during the initial frantic search, which we knew was happening for sure. The leftover food and stored fruit would provide us with supplies; the only thing to worry about was if the miller or someone else came up to look for something in the loft. Even then, with some careful arrangement of boxes and chests, we could keep one part in the shadows to possibly avoid being noticed. This gave me a bit of comfort, but I asked how we were ever going to escape. The ladder was gone, which was our only way down. But Amante responded that she could fashion a ladder from the coiled rope lying among other things, to drop us down the ten feet or so—with the bonus of it being portable, so we could take it with us and avoid revealing that anyone had ever been hidden in the loft.

During the two days that intervened before we did escape, Amante made good use of her time. She looked into every box and chest during the man's absence at his mill; and finding in one box an old suit of man's clothes, which had probably belonged to the miller's absent son, she put them on to see if they would fit her; and, when she found that they did, she cut her own hair to the shortness of a man's, made me clip her black eyebrows as close as though they had been shaved, and by cutting up old corks into pieces such as would go into her cheeks, she altered both the shape of her face and her voice to a degree which I should not have believed possible.

During the two days before we finally escaped, Amante made the most of her time. She searched through every box and chest while the man was away at his mill. In one box, she found an old suit of men’s clothes, probably belonging to the miller’s son who was away, and tried it on to see if it would fit her. When she discovered that it did, she cut her hair short like a man’s, had me trim her black eyebrows so close it looked like they were shaved, and by slicing up old corks into pieces small enough to fit in her cheeks, she changed both the shape of her face and her voice in a way I never thought possible.

All this time I lay like one stunned; my body resting, and renewing its strength, but I myself in an almost idiotic state—else surely I could not have taken the stupid interest which I remember I did in all Amante's energetic preparations for disguise. I absolutely recollect once the feeling of a smile coming over my stiff face as some new exercise of her cleverness proved a success.

All this time I was lying there, completely dazed; my body was resting and regaining strength, but I was in a nearly mindless state—otherwise, I wouldn't have found myself so stupidly interested in all of Amante's enthusiastic disguise preparations. I distinctly remember feeling a smile creeping across my stiff face as one of her clever tricks worked out successfully.

But towards the second day, she required me, too, to exert myself; and then all my heavy despair returned. I let her dye my fair hair and complexion with the decaying shells of the stored-up walnuts, I let her blacken my teeth, and even voluntarily broke a front tooth the better to effect my disguise. But through it all I had no hope of evading my terrible husband. The third night the funeral was over, the drinking ended, the guests gone; the miller put to bed by his men, being too drunk to help himself. They stopped a little while in the kitchen, talking and laughing about the new housekeeper likely to come; and they, too, went off, shutting, but not locking the door. Everything favoured us. Amante had tried her ladder on one of the two previous nights, and could, by a dexterous throw from beneath, unfasten it from the hook to which it was fixed, when it had served its office; she made up a bundle of worthless old clothes in order that we might the better preserve our characters of a travelling pedlar and his wife; she stuffed a hump on her back, she thickened my figure, she left her own clothes deep down beneath a heap of others in the chest from which she had taken the man's dress which she wore; and with a few francs in her pocket—the sole money we had either of us had about us when we escaped—we let ourselves down the ladder, unhooked it, and passed into the cold darkness of night again.

But by the second day, she needed me to push myself, and all my heavy despair came back. I allowed her to dye my fair hair and skin with the rotten shells of stored walnuts, I let her blacken my teeth, and even broke a front tooth on purpose to enhance my disguise. But deep down, I had no hope of escaping my awful husband. After the funeral was over, the drinking done, and the guests gone the third night, the miller was put to bed by his men, too drunk to manage on his own. They stayed in the kitchen for a bit, chatting and laughing about the new housekeeper likely to arrive; then they left, shutting but not locking the door. Everything was working in our favor. Amante had tried her ladder on one of the previous nights and could, with a clever toss from below, unhook it from the place it was fixed once it had done its job; she made a bundle of useless old clothes so we could better keep up our act as a traveling peddler and his wife; she stuffed a hump on her back, padded my figure, and buried her own clothes deep under a pile of others in the chest from which she had taken the man's outfit she wore; and with a few francs in her pocket—the only cash either of us had when we escaped—we lowered ourselves down the ladder, unhooked it, and stepped into the cold darkness of the night once again.

We had discussed the route which it would be well for us to take while we lay perdues in our loft. Amante had told me then that her reason for inquiring, when we first left Les Rochers, by which way I had first been brought to it, was to avoid the pursuit which she was sure would first be made in the direction of Germany; but that now she thought we might return to that district of country where my German fashion of speaking French would excite least observation. I thought that Amante herself had something peculiar in her accent, which I had heard M. de la Tourelle sneer at as Norman patois; but I said not a word beyond agreeing to her proposal that we should bend our steps towards Germany. Once there, we should, I thought, be safe. Alas! I forgot the unruly time that was overspreading all Europe, overturning all law, and all the protection which law gives.

We talked about which route would be best for us to take while we were hidden in our loft. Amante had told me back when we first left Les Rochers that she wanted to know how I had originally gotten there to avoid the pursuit she was sure would start heading towards Germany; but now she thought we could go back to that area where my German way of speaking French would attract the least attention. I felt that Amante herself had a unique accent, which I had heard M. de la Tourelle mock as Norman dialect; but I didn’t say anything other than agreeing with her suggestion that we head towards Germany. Once we got there, I thought we would be safe. Unfortunately, I forgot about the chaotic times that were sweeping across all of Europe, disrupting all laws and the protection law provides.

How we wandered—not daring to ask our way—how we lived, how we struggled through many a danger and still more terrors of danger, I shall not tell you now. I will only relate two of our adventures before we reached Frankfort. The first, although fatal to an innocent lady, was yet, I believe, the cause of my safety; the second I shall tell you, that you may understand why I did not return to my former home, as I had hoped to do when we lay in the miller's loft, and I first became capable of groping after an idea of what my future life might be. I cannot tell you how much in these doubtings and wanderings I became attached to Amante. I have sometimes feared since, lest I cared for her only because she was so necessary to my own safety; but, no! it was not so; or not so only, or principally. She said once that she was flying for her own life as well as for mine; but we dared not speak much on our danger, or on the horrors that had gone before. We planned a little what was to be our future course; but even for that we did not look forward long; how could we, when every day we scarcely knew if we should see the sun go down? For Amante knew or conjectured far more than I did of the atrocity of the gang to which M. de la Tourelle belonged; and every now and then, just as we seemed to be sinking into the calm of security, we fell upon traces of a pursuit after us in all directions. Once I remember—we must have been nearly three weeks wearily walking through unfrequented ways, day after day, not daring to make inquiry as to our whereabouts, nor yet to seem purposeless in our wanderings—we came to a kind of lonely roadside farrier's and blacksmith's. I was so tired, that Amante declared that, come what might, we would stay there all night; and accordingly she entered the house, and boldly announced herself as a travelling tailor, ready to do any odd jobs of work that might be required, for a night's lodging and food for herself and wife. She had adopted this plan once or twice before, and with good success; for her father had been a tailor in Rouen, and as a girl she had often helped him with his work, and knew the tailors' slang and habits, down to the particular whistle and cry which in France tells so much to those of a trade. At this blacksmith's, as at most other solitary houses far away from a town, there was not only a store of men's clothes laid by as wanting mending when the housewife could afford time, but there was a natural craving after news from a distance, such news as a wandering tailor is bound to furnish. The early November afternoon was closing into evening, as we sat down, she cross-legged on the great table in the blacksmith's kitchen, drawn close to the window, I close behind her, sewing at another part of the same garment, and from time to time well scolded by my seeming husband. All at once she turned round to speak to me. It was only one word, "Courage!" I had seen nothing; I sat out of the light; but I turned sick for an instant, and then I braced myself up into a strange strength of endurance to go through I knew not what.

How we wandered—without daring to ask for directions—how we lived, how we dealt with many dangers and even more terrifying threats, I won’t get into right now. I’ll only share two of our adventures before we reached Frankfort. The first, although it ended tragically for an innocent woman, I believe was the reason I survived; the second I’ll tell you so you can understand why I didn’t return to my old home, as I had hoped to when we were resting in the miller’s loft and I first started to grasp what my future might hold. I can’t explain how these doubts and wanderings made me grow attached to Amante. I've sometimes worried since then that I only cared for her because she was so crucial to my own safety; but no! It wasn’t like that; or not only that, or mainly that. She once said she was running for her life just as much as I was; but we didn’t dare talk much about our danger or the horrors we had faced before. We made some plans for our future, but even that we didn’t look too far ahead for; how could we, when every day we barely knew whether we’d see the sun set? For Amante knew or suspected much more than I did about the horrors of the gang to which M. de la Tourelle belonged; and just when we seemed to settle into a feeling of safety, we stumbled upon signs of someone pursuing us in every direction. I remember one time—we must have been trudging through deserted paths for nearly three weeks, day after day, afraid to ask where we were or to act like we didn’t have a purpose in our wandering—we came across a lonely roadside blacksmith and farrier. I was so exhausted that Amante insisted we would stay there all night, no matter what. So, she entered the house and confidently introduced herself as a traveling tailor, ready to take on any odd jobs in exchange for food and a place to sleep for her and her wife. She had used this strategy successfully a couple of times before; her father had been a tailor in Rouen, and she often helped him as a girl, so she was familiar with the tailor’s lingo and habits, even knowing the particular whistle and call that tradespeople use in France. At this blacksmith’s, like at most remote places far from towns, there was not only a pile of men’s clothes waiting to be mended when the housewife had time, but also a natural desire for news from afar, which a wandering tailor is expected to provide. The early November afternoon was turning into evening as we settled down, she sitting cross-legged on the large table in the blacksmith’s kitchen, close to the window, while I sat right behind her, working on another part of the same garment, occasionally getting scolded by my pretend husband. Suddenly, she turned to speak to me. It was just one word, “Courage!” I hadn’t seen anything; I was out of the light; but for a moment I felt faint, and then I gathered an unusual strength to face whatever might come next.

The blacksmith's forge was in a shed beside the house, and fronting the road. I heard the hammers stop plying their continual rhythmical beat. She had seen why they ceased. A rider had come up to the forge and dismounted, leading his horse in to be re-shod. The broad red light of the forge-fire had revealed the face of the rider to Amante, and she apprehended the consequence that really ensued.

The blacksmith's forge was in a shed next to the house and facing the road. I heard the hammers stop their constant rhythmic pounding. She noticed why they had stopped. A rider had approached the forge and got off, leading his horse in to get new shoes. The bright red glow of the forge fire had shown Amante the rider's face, and she understood what would happen next.

The rider, after some words with the blacksmith, was ushered in by him into the house-place where we sat.

The rider, after having a quick chat with the blacksmith, was brought into the room where we were sitting.

"Here, good wife, a cup of wine and some galette for this gentleman."

"Here you go, good wife, a cup of wine and some crackers for this gentleman."

"Anything, anything, madame, that I can eat and drink in my hand while my horse is being shod. I am in haste, and must get on to Forbach to-night."

"Anything, anything, ma'am, that I can eat and drink in my hand while my horse is being shod. I'm in a hurry and need to get to Forbach tonight."

The blacksmith's wife lighted her lamp; Amante had asked her for it five minutes before. How thankful we were that she had not more speedily complied with our request! As it was, we sat in dusk shadow, pretending to stitch away, but scarcely able to see. The lamp was placed on the stove, near which my husband, for it was he, stood and warmed himself. By-and-by he turned round, and looked all over the room, taking us in with about the same degree of interest as the inanimate furniture. Amante, cross-legged, fronting him, stooped over her work, whistling softly all the while. He turned again to the stove, impatiently rubbing his hands. He had finished his wine and galette, and wanted to be off.

The blacksmith's wife lit her lamp; Amante had asked her for it five minutes earlier. We were so relieved that she hadn’t quickly fulfilled our request! As it was, we sat in the dim light, pretending to sew, but barely able to see. The lamp was set on the stove, next to which my husband—who it was—stood warming himself. After a while, he turned around and looked around the room, showing us the same level of interest as the lifeless furniture. Amante, sitting cross-legged facing him, leaned over her work, softly whistling the entire time. He turned back to the stove, rubbing his hands together impatiently. He had finished his wine and galette and was eager to leave.

"I am in haste, my good woman. Ask thy husband to get on more quickly. I will pay him double if he makes haste."

"I’m in a hurry, ma’am. Ask your husband to hurry up. I’ll pay him double if he speeds things up."

The woman went out to do his bidding; and he once more turned round to face us. Amante went on to the second part of the tune. He took it up, whistled a second for an instant or so, and then the blacksmith's wife re-entering, he moved towards her, as if to receive her answer the more speedily.

The woman went out to carry out his request; and he turned back to face us again. Amante continued with the second part of the tune. He picked it up, whistled a bit for a moment, and then as the blacksmith's wife came back in, he moved toward her, as if to get her response more quickly.

"One moment, monsieur—only one moment. There was a nail out of the off-foreshoe which my husband is replacing; it would delay monsieur again if that shoe also came off."

"Just a moment, sir—only a moment. There was a nail missing from the front left shoe that my husband is replacing; it would hold you up again if that shoe came off too."

"Madame is right," said he, "but my haste is urgent. If madame knew my reasons, she would pardon my impatience. Once a happy husband, now a deserted and betrayed man, I pursue a wife on whom I lavished all my love, but who has abused my confidence, and fled from my house, doubtless to some paramour; carrying off with her all the jewels and money on which she could lay her hands. It is possible madame may have heard or seen something of her; she was accompanied in her flight by a base, profligate woman from Paris, whom I, unhappy man, had myself engaged for my wife's waiting-maid, little dreaming what corruption I was bringing into my house!"

"You're right, Madame," he said, "but I'm in a real rush. If you knew my reasons, you would understand my impatience. Once I was a happy husband, but now I'm a betrayed and abandoned man. I'm searching for a wife to whom I gave all my love, but who has betrayed my trust and run away, probably to be with some lover. She took all the jewelry and money she could grab with her. You may have heard or seen something about her; she left with a deceitful, immoral woman from Paris, someone I, foolishly, hired as my wife's maid, not realizing how much trouble I was bringing into my home!"

"Is it possible?" said the good woman, throwing up her hands.

"Is it really possible?" said the good woman, throwing her hands up.

Amante went on whistling a little lower, out of respect to the conversation.

Amante kept whistling softly, being mindful of the conversation.

"However, I am tracing the wicked fugitives; I am on their track" (and the handsome, effeminate face looked as ferocious as any demon's). "They will not escape me; but every minute is a minute of misery to me, till I meet my wife. Madame has sympathy, has she not?"

"However, I'm tracking the wicked fugitives; I'm on their trail" (and the handsome, delicate face looked as fierce as any demon's). "They won't escape me; but every minute feels like misery until I see my wife. Madame feels sympathy, doesn't she?"

He drew his face into a hard, unnatural smile, and then both went out to the forge, as if once more to hasten the blacksmith over his work.

He forced a tight, unnatural smile on his face, and then they both went out to the forge, as if to hurry the blacksmith with his work once again.

Amante stopped her whistling for one instant.

Amante paused her whistling for a moment.

"Go on as you are, without change of an eyelid even; in a few minutes he will be gone, and it will be over!"

"Keep doing what you're doing, without even blinking; in just a few minutes, he’ll be gone, and it will all be over!"

It was a necessary caution, for I was on the point of giving way, and throwing myself weakly upon her neck. We went on; she whistling and stitching, I making semblance to sew. And it was well we did so; for almost directly he came back for his whip, which he had laid down and forgotten; and again I felt one of those sharp, quick-scanning glances, sent all round the room, and taking in all.

It was a good precaution because I was about to break down and weakly throw myself into her arms. We continued on; she was whistling and sewing while I pretended to stitch. It was a good thing we kept at it, because he almost immediately returned for his whip, which he had put down and forgotten. Once again, I felt one of those sharp, quick looks that scanned the entire room, taking everything in.

Then we heard him ride away; and then, it had been long too dark to see well, I dropped my work, and gave way to my trembling and shuddering. The blacksmith's wife returned. She was a good creature. Amante told her I was cold and weary, and she insisted on my stopping my work, and going to sit near the stove; hastening, at the same time, her preparations for supper, which, in honour of us, and of monsieur's liberal payment, was to be a little less frugal than ordinary. It was well for me that she made me taste a little of the cider-soup she was preparing, or I could not have held up, in spite of Amante's warning look, and the remembrance of her frequent exhortations to act resolutely up to the characters we had assumed, whatever befel. To cover my agitation, Amante stopped her whistling, and began to talk; and, by the time the blacksmith came in, she and the good woman of the house were in full flow. He began at once upon the handsome gentleman, who had paid him so well; all his sympathy was with him, and both he and his wife only wished he might overtake his wicked wife, and punish her as she deserved. And then the conversation took a turn, not uncommon to those whose lives are quiet and monotonous; every one seemed to vie with each other in telling about some horror; and the savage and mysterious band of robbers called the Chauffeurs, who infested all the roads leading to the Rhine, with Schinderhannes at their head, furnished many a tale which made the very marrow of my bones run cold, and quenched even Amante's power of talking. Her eyes grew large and wild, her cheeks blanched, and for once she sought by her looks help from me. The new call upon me roused me. I rose and said, with their permission my husband and I would seek our bed, for that we had travelled far and were early risers. I added that we would get up betimes, and finish our piece of work. The blacksmith said we should be early birds if we rose before him; and the good wife seconded my proposal with kindly bustle. One other such story as those they had been relating, and I do believe Amante would have fainted.

Then we heard him ride away; and by then, it had been too dark to see well for a long time, so I dropped my work and gave in to my trembling and shuddering. The blacksmith's wife came back. She was a kind woman. Amante told her I was cold and tired, and she insisted I stop working and sit by the stove while she hurried to prepare supper, which, in honor of us and Monsieur's generous payment, would be a bit more lavish than usual. It was a good thing she made me try some of the cider-soup she was cooking, or I wouldn’t have been able to keep it together, despite Amante’s worried look and the memory of her frequent reminders to act confidently in line with the roles we had taken on, no matter what happened. To hide my agitation, Amante stopped whistling and started chatting; by the time the blacksmith came in, she and the good woman of the house were deep in conversation. He immediately began talking about the handsome gentleman who had paid him so well; all his sympathy was with that man, and both he and his wife only hoped he would catch up with his wicked wife and punish her as she deserved. Then the conversation shifted, a common occurrence for those living calm and monotonous lives; everyone seemed to compete to share stories of horror, and the savage and mysterious group of bandits known as the Chauffeurs, who roamed all the roads leading to the Rhine with Schinderhannes at their head, provided many tales that chilled me to the bone and silenced even Amante. Her eyes grew big and wild, her cheeks turned pale, and for once, she sought help from me with her expression. The new demand on me woke me up. I stood up and said, with their permission, that my husband and I would retire for the night since we had traveled far and were early risers. I added that we would wake up early and finish our task. The blacksmith said we’d be early birds if we rose before him, and the good wife supported my suggestion with cheerful energy. One more story like those they had been telling, and I believe Amante would have fainted.

As it was, a night's rest set her up; we arose and finished our work betimes, and shared the plentiful breakfast of the family. Then we had to set forth again; only knowing that to Forbach we must not go, yet believing, as was indeed the case, that Forbach lay between us and that Germany to which we were directing our course. Two days more we wandered on, making a round, I suspect, and returning upon the road to Forbach, a league or two nearer to that town than the blacksmith's house. But as we never made inquiries I hardly knew where we were, when we came one night to a small town, with a good large rambling inn in the very centre of the principal street. We had begun to feel as if there were more safety in towns than in the loneliness of the country. As we had parted with a ring of mine not many days before to a travelling jeweller, who was too glad to purchase it far below its real value to make many inquiries as to how it came into the possession of a poor working tailor, such as Amante seemed to be, we resolved to stay at this inn all night, and gather such particulars and information as we could by which to direct our onward course.

After a good night's sleep, we got up early, finished our work, and enjoyed a hearty breakfast with the family. Then we had to head out again, knowing we shouldn’t go to Forbach, but believing, as it turned out, that Forbach was in between us and Germany, which was our destination. We wandered for another two days, likely going in circles and getting a bit closer to Forbach than we were from the blacksmith's house. But since we never asked for directions, I wasn’t really sure where we were when we arrived one night at a small town with a large, sprawling inn right in the middle of the main street. We started to feel safer in towns than in the desolation of the countryside. A few days before, I had sold one of my rings to a traveling jeweler, who was happy to buy it for much less than its actual worth, without asking too many questions about how a poor working tailor like Amante came to have it. So we decided to stay at this inn for the night and gather as much information as we could to help guide us on our journey.

We took our supper in the darkest corner of the salle-à-manger, having previously bargained for a small bedroom across the court, and over the stables. We needed food sorely; but we hurried on our meal from dread of any one entering that public room who might recognize us. Just in the middle of our meal, the public diligence drove lumbering up under the porte-cochère, and disgorged its passengers. Most of them turned into the room where we sat, cowering and fearful, for the door was opposite to the porter's lodge, and both opened on to the wide-covered entrance from the street. Among the passengers came in a young, fair-haired lady, attended by an elderly French maid. The poor young creature tossed her head, and shrank away from the common room, full of evil smells and promiscuous company, and demanded, in German French, to be taken to some private apartment. We heard that she and her maid had come in the coupé, and, probably from pride, poor young lady! she had avoided all association with her fellow-passengers, thereby exciting their dislike and ridicule. All these little pieces of hearsay had a significance to us afterwards, though, at the time, the only remark made that bore upon the future was Amante's whisper to me that the young lady's hair was exactly the colour of mine, which she had cut off and burnt in the stove in the miller's kitchen in one of her descents from our hiding-place in the loft.

We had our dinner in the darkest corner of the dining room, having previously bargained for a small bedroom across the courtyard, above the stables. We were in desperate need of food, but we rushed through our meal for fear of anyone entering the public room who might recognize us. Just as we were in the middle of eating, the public coach pulled up under the porte-cochère and let its passengers out. Most of them walked into the room where we sat, cowering and anxious, since the door was across from the porter's lodge, and both opened into the large covered entrance from the street. Among the passengers was a young, fair-haired woman, accompanied by an elderly French maid. The poor thing tossed her head and recoiled from the common room, filled with unpleasant smells and mixed company, demanding in a mix of German and French to be taken to some private room. We overheard that she and her maid had arrived in the coupe, and probably out of pride, poor young lady! she had avoided any association with her fellow passengers, which led to their dislike and mockery. All these little bits of gossip mattered to us later, although at the time, the only comment relevant to the future was Amante's whisper to me that the young lady's hair was exactly the same color as mine, which she had cut off and burned in the stove in the miller's kitchen during one of her descents from our hiding place in the loft.

As soon as we could, we struck round in the shadow, leaving the boisterous and merry fellow-passengers to their supper. We crossed the court, borrowed a lantern from the ostler, and scrambled up the rude steps to our chamber above the stable. There was no door into it; the entrance was the hole into which the ladder fitted. The window looked into the court. We were tired and soon fell asleep. I was wakened by a noise in the stable below. One instant of listening, and I wakened Amante, placing my hand on her mouth, to prevent any exclamation in her half-roused state. We heard my husband speaking about his horse to the ostler. It was his voice. I am sure of it. Amante said so too. We durst not move to rise and satisfy ourselves. For five minutes or so he went on giving directions. Then he left the stable, and, softly stealing to our window, we saw him cross the court and re-enter the inn. We consulted as to what we should do. We feared to excite remark or suspicion by descending and leaving our chamber, or else immediate escape was our strongest idea. Then the ostler left the stable, locking the door on the outside.

As soon as we could, we moved into the shadows, leaving the loud and cheerful fellow passengers to their dinner. We crossed the courtyard, borrowed a lantern from the stablehand, and climbed the rough steps to our room above the stable. There was no door; the entrance was just the opening where the ladder fit. The window looked out onto the courtyard. We were exhausted and soon fell asleep. I was woken up by a noise in the stable below. After listening for a moment, I woke Amante, putting my hand over her mouth to keep her from making a sound in her groggy state. We heard my husband talking about his horse to the stablehand. It was his voice. I’m sure of it. Amante agreed. We didn’t dare move to get up and see for ourselves. For about five minutes, he continued giving instructions. Then he left the stable, and quietly creeping to our window, we saw him cross the courtyard and re-enter the inn. We discussed what to do. We were worried that going down and leaving our room would attract attention or suspicion, but escape was our strongest urge. Then the stablehand left, locking the door from the outside.

"We must try and drop through the window—if, indeed, it is well to go at all," said Amante.

"We should try to jump through the window—if it even makes sense to go at all," said Amante.

With reflection came wisdom. We should excite suspicion by leaving without paying our bill. We were on foot, and might easily be pursued. So we sat on our bed's edge, talking and shivering, while from across the court the laughter rang merrily, and the company slowly dispersed one by one, their lights flitting past the windows as they went upstairs and settled each one to his rest.

With reflection came wisdom. We shouldn't arouse suspicion by leaving without paying our bill. We were on foot and could easily be chased. So we sat on the edge of our bed, talking and shivering, while laughter rang out merrily from across the courtyard, and the group slowly broke up one by one, their lights flickering past the windows as they went upstairs and settled in for the night.

We crept into our bed, holding each other tight, and listening to every sound, as if we thought we were tracked, and might meet our death at any moment. In the dead of night, just at the profound stillness preceding the turn into another day, we heard a soft, cautious step crossing the yard. The key into the stable was turned—some one came into the stable—we felt rather than heard him there. A horse started a little, and made a restless movement with his feet, then whinnied recognition. He who had entered made two or three low sounds to the animal, and then led him into the court. Amante sprang to the window with the noiseless activity of a cat. She looked out, but dared not speak a word. We heard the great door into the street open—a pause for mounting, and the horse's footsteps were lost in distance.

We slipped into our bed, holding each other tightly and listening to every sound, as if we believed we were being hunted and could face our end at any moment. In the middle of the night, just in the deep silence before dawn broke, we heard a soft, cautious step crossing the yard. The key to the stable turned—someone entered the stable—we felt him there more than we heard him. A horse shifted a bit and moved its feet restlessly, then whinnied in recognition. The person who entered made a couple of low sounds to the animal and then led it into the courtyard. Amante jumped to the window with the quiet agility of a cat. She peered outside but didn’t dare to say a word. We heard the big door to the street open—a moment for mounting, and then the sound of the horse’s footsteps faded into the distance.

Then Amante came back to me. "It was he! he is gone!" said she, and once more we lay down, trembling and shaking.

Then Amante returned to me. "It was him! He’s gone!" she said, and once again we lay down, trembling and shaking.

This time we fell sound asleep. We slept long and late. We were wakened by many hurrying feet, and many confused voices; all the world seemed awake and astir. We rose and dressed ourselves, and coming down we looked around among the crowd collected in the court-yard, in order to assure ourselves he was not there before we left the shelter of the stable.

This time we fell into a deep sleep. We slept for a long time and woke up late. We were stirred by a lot of hurried footsteps and confused voices; it felt like the whole world was awake and busy. We got up and got dressed, and as we came down, we looked around at the crowd gathered in the courtyard to make sure he wasn’t there before we left the safety of the stable.

The instant we were seen, two or three people rushed to us.

The moment we were spotted, two or three people hurried over to us.

"Have you heard?—Do you know?—That poor young lady—oh, come and see!" and so we were hurried, almost in spite of ourselves, across the court, and up the great open stairs of the main building of the inn, into a bed-chamber, where lay the beautiful young German lady, so full of graceful pride the night before, now white and still in death. By her stood the French maid, crying and gesticulating.

"Have you heard?—Do you know?—That poor young woman—oh, come and see!" And so we were rushed, almost against our will, across the courtyard and up the grand open staircase of the main inn building, into a bedroom, where the beautiful young German woman, full of graceful pride the night before, now lay pale and still in death. Beside her stood the French maid, crying and waving her arms.

"Oh, madame! if you had but suffered me to stay with you! Oh! the baron, what will he say?" and so she went on. Her state had but just been discovered; it had been supposed that she was fatigued, and was sleeping late, until a few minutes before. The surgeon of the town had been sent for, and the landlord of the inn was trying vainly to enforce order until he came, and, from time to time, drinking little cups of brandy, and offering them to the guests, who were all assembled there, pretty much as the servants were doing in the court-yard.

"Oh, ma'am! If only you had let me stay with you! Oh! What will the baron say?" And she kept going on like that. Her condition had just been discovered; everyone thought she was tired and sleeping in late, just until a few minutes ago. The town's surgeon had been called, and the innkeeper was trying in vain to keep order until he arrived, occasionally pouring tiny cups of brandy and offering them to the guests, all gathered there, much like the servants were doing in the courtyard.

At last the surgeon came. All fell back, and hung on the words that were to fall from his lips.

At last, the surgeon arrived. Everyone stepped back and waited eagerly for the words that would come from him.

"See!" said the landlord. "This lady came last night by the diligence with her maid. Doubtless a great lady, for she must have a private sitting-room——"

"Look!" said the landlord. "This lady arrived last night on the coach with her maid. She must be an important person since she needs a private sitting roomUnderstood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize."

"She was Madame the Baroness de Rœder," said the French maid.

"She was Madame the Baroness de Rœder," said the French maid.

—"And was difficult to please in the matter of supper, and a sleeping-room. She went to bed well, though fatigued. Her maid left her——"

—"And was hard to please when it came to dinner and a bedroom. She went to bed happy, although tired. Her maid left herUnderstood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize."

"I begged to be allowed to sleep in her room, as we were in a strange inn, of the character of which we knew nothing; but she would not let me, my mistress was such a great lady."

"I begged to be allowed to sleep in her room since we were in a strange inn that we knew nothing about, but she wouldn’t let me—my mistress was too important."

—"And slept with my servants," continued the landlord. "This morning we thought madame was still slumbering; but when eight, nine, ten, and near eleven o'clock came, I bade her maid use my pass-key, and enter her room——"

—"And slept with my staff," continued the landlord. "This morning we thought madame was still asleep; but when it was eight, nine, ten, and almost eleven o'clock, I told her maid to use my pass-key and go into her roomSure! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize."

"The door was not locked, only closed. And here she was found—dead is she not, monsieur?—with her face down on her pillow, and her beautiful hair all scattered wild; she never would let me tie it up, saying it made her head ache. Such hair!" said the waiting-maid, lifting up a long golden tress, and letting it fall again.

"The door wasn't locked, just closed. And here she was found—she's dead, isn’t she, sir?—face down on her pillow, her beautiful hair all spread out; she never let me tie it up, saying it gave her a headache. Such hair!" said the maid, picking up a long golden strand and letting it fall again.

I remembered Amante's words the night before, and crept close up to her.

I remembered Amante's words from the night before and crept closer to her.

Meanwhile, the doctor was examining the body underneath the bed-clothes, which the landlord, until now, had not allowed to be disarranged. The surgeon drew out his hand, all bathed and stained with blood; and holding up a short, sharp knife, with a piece of paper fastened round it.

Meanwhile, the doctor was examining the body under the blankets, which the landlord had not allowed to be disturbed until now. The surgeon pulled out his hand, covered and stained with blood; and held up a short, sharp knife, with a piece of paper attached to it.

"Here has been foul play," he said. "The deceased lady has been murdered. This dagger was aimed straight at her heart." Then, putting on his spectacles, he read the writing on the bloody paper, dimmed and horribly obscured as it was:—

"Something's not right here," he said. "The woman was murdered. This dagger was plunged right into her heart." Then, putting on his glasses, he read the writing on the bloody paper, which was smudged and extremely hard to make out:—

 

Numéro Un.
Ainsi les Chauffeurs se vengent.

Number One.
This is how the Drivers take their revenge.

 

"Let us go!" said I to Amante. "Oh, let us leave this horrible place!"

"Let's go!" I said to Amante. "Oh, let's get out of this terrible place!"

"Wait a little," said she. "Only a few minutes more. It will be better."

"Just hold on a minute," she said. "Only a few more minutes. It'll be worth it."

Immediately the voices of all proclaimed their suspicions of the cavalier who had arrived last the night before. He had, they said, made so many inquiries about the young lady, whose supercilious conduct all in the salle-à-manger had been discussing on his entrance. They were talking about her as we left the room; he must have come in directly afterwards, and not until he had learnt all about her, had he spoken of the business which necessitated his departure at dawn of day, and made his arrangements with both landlord and ostler for the possession of the keys of the stable and porte-cochère. In short, there was no doubt as to the murderer, even before the arrival of the legal functionary who had been sent for by the surgeon; but the word on the paper chilled every one with terror. Les Chauffeurs, who were they? No one knew, some of the gang might even then be in the room overhearing, and noting down fresh objects for vengeance. In Germany, I had heard little of this terrible gang, and I had paid no greater heed to the stories related once or twice about them in Carlsruhe than one does to tales about ogres. But here in their very haunts, I learnt the full amount of the terror they inspired. No one would be legally responsible for any evidence criminating the murderer. The public prosecutor shrank from the duties of his office. What do I say? Neither Amante nor I, knowing far more of the actual guilt of the man who had killed that poor sleeping young lady, durst breathe a word. We appeared to be wholly ignorant of everything: we, who might have told so much. But how could we? we were broken down with terrific anxiety and fatigue, with the knowledge that we, above all, were doomed victims; and that the blood, heavily dripping from the bed-clothes on to the floor, was dripping thus out of the poor dead body, because, when living, she had been mistaken for me.

Immediately, everyone voiced their suspicions about the cavalier who arrived the night before. They said he had asked so many questions about the young lady, whose snobbish behavior everyone in the salle-à-manger was discussing when he entered. They were still talking about her as we left the room; he must have come in right after us, and not until he had learned everything about her did he mention the business that required him to leave at dawn and make arrangements with both the landlord and the stableman for the keys to the stable and porte-cochère. In short, there was no doubt he was the murderer, even before the legal official sent for by the surgeon arrived; but the words on the paper terrified everyone. Les Chauffeurs, who were they? No one knew, and some from the gang might even be in the room right now, eavesdropping and looking for new targets for revenge. In Germany, I had heard little about this terrible gang, and I had paid no more attention to the stories told about them in Carlsruhe than one does to tales about ogres. But here, in their very territory, I learned just how much terror they inspired. No one would take legal responsibility for any evidence implicating the murderer. The public prosecutor hesitated to do his job. What do I mean? Neither Amante nor I, knowing far more about the actual guilt of the man who killed that poor sleeping young lady, dared to say a word. We pretended to be completely ignorant of everything: we, who could have told so much. But how could we? We were overwhelmed with sheer anxiety and exhaustion, knowing that we, above all, were the cursed victims; and that the blood, heavily dripping from the bedclothes onto the floor, was dripping from the poor dead body because, while she was alive, she had been mistaken for me.

At length Amante went up to the landlord, and asked permission to leave his inn, doing all openly and humbly, so as to excite neither ill-will nor suspicion. Indeed, suspicion was otherwise directed, and he willingly gave us leave to depart. A few days afterwards we were across the Rhine, in Germany, making our way towards Frankfort, but still keeping our disguises, and Amante still working at her trade.

At last, Amante approached the innkeeper and asked for permission to leave, doing so openly and respectfully to avoid causing any resentment or suspicion. In fact, suspicion had turned elsewhere, and he readily allowed us to go. A few days later, we crossed the Rhine into Germany, heading towards Frankfurt, but still in disguise, with Amante continuing to practice her trade.

On the way, we met a young man, a wandering journeyman from Heidelberg. I knew him, although I did not choose that he should know me. I asked him, as carelessly as I could, how the old miller was now? He told me he was dead. This realization of the worst apprehensions caused by his long silence shocked me inexpressibly. It seemed as though every prop gave way from under me. I had been talking to Amante only that very day of the safety and comfort of the home that awaited her in my father's house; of the gratitude which the old man would feel towards her; and how there, in that peaceful dwelling, far away from the terrible land of France, she should find ease and security for all the rest of her life. All this I thought I had to promise, and even yet more had I looked for, for myself. I looked to the unburdening of my heart and conscience by telling all I knew to my best and wisest friend. I looked to his love as a sure guidance as well as a comforting stay, and, behold, he was gone away from me for ever!

On the way, we met a young man, a wandering journeyman from Heidelberg. I knew him, but I didn’t want him to recognize me. I asked him, as casually as I could, how the old miller was doing now. He told me he was dead. The realization of my worst fears, caused by his long silence, hit me hard. It felt like every support I had crumbled beneath me. Just that very day, I had been talking to Amante about the safety and comfort of the home waiting for her in my father’s house; about the gratitude the old man would feel towards her; and how, in that peaceful home, far away from the terrible land of France, she would find ease and security for the rest of her life. I thought I had promised all this, and I expected even more for myself. I looked forward to unburdening my heart and conscience by sharing everything I knew with my best and wisest friend. I counted on his love as a sure guide and a comforting support, and now, behold, he was gone from me forever!

I had left the room hastily on hearing of this sad news from the Heidelberger. Presently, Amante followed:

I quickly left the room after hearing this sad news from the Heidelberger. Soon after, Amante followed:

"Poor madame," said she, consoling me to the best of her ability. And then she told me by degrees what more she had learned respecting my home, about which she knew almost as much as I did, from my frequent talks on the subject both at Les Rochers and on the dreary, doleful road we had come along. She had continued the conversation after I left, by asking about my brother and his wife. Of course, they lived on at the mill, but the man said (with what truth I know not, but I believed it firmly at the time) that Babette had completely got the upper hand of my brother, who only saw through her eyes and heard with her ears. That there had been much Heidelberg gossip of late days about her sudden intimacy with a grand French gentleman who had appeared at the mill—a relation, by marriage—married, in fact, to the miller's sister, who, by all accounts, had behaved abominably and ungratefully. But that was no reason for Babette's extreme and sudden intimacy with him, going about everywhere with the French gentleman; and since he left (as the Heidelberger said he knew for a fact) corresponding with him constantly. Yet her husband saw no harm in it all, seemingly; though, to be sure, he was so out of spirits, what with his father's death and the news of his sister's infamy, that he hardly knew how to hold up his head.

"Poor madame," she said, trying her best to comfort me. Then she gradually shared what more she had learned about my home, which she knew almost as well as I did, from our many conversations about it at Les Rochers and on the bleak, sorrowful road we had traveled. She had kept the conversation going after I left by asking about my brother and his wife. Naturally, they were still living at the mill, but the man claimed (I wasn't sure how true it was, but I believed it at the time) that Babette had completely taken control of my brother, who only saw and heard things through her perspective. There had been a lot of gossip in Heidelberg lately about her sudden closeness with a grand French gentleman who had shown up at the mill—a relation by marriage—who was actually married to the miller's sister, and by all accounts, had acted terribly and ingratefully. However, that didn’t explain Babette's extreme and sudden closeness to him, going everywhere with the French gentleman; and since he left (as the Heidelberger insisted he knew for sure), she had been constantly corresponding with him. Yet her husband didn’t seem to mind at all; though, to be fair, he was so downcast, what with his father's death and the news of his sister's disgrace, that he barely knew how to hold his head up.

"Now," said Amante, "all this proves that M. de la Tourelle has suspected that you would go back to the nest in which you were reared, and that he has been there, and found that you have not yet returned; but probably he still imagines that you will do so, and has accordingly engaged your sister-in-law as a kind of informant. Madame has said that her sister-in-law bore her no extreme good-will; and the defamatory story he has got the start of us in spreading, will not tend to increase the favour in which your sister-in-law holds you. No doubt the assassin was retracing his steps when we met him near Forbach, and having heard of the poor German lady, with her French maid, and her pretty blonde complexion, he followed her. If madame will still be guided by me—and, my child, I beg of you still to trust me," said Amante, breaking out of her respectful formality into the way of talking more natural to those who had shared and escaped from common dangers—more natural, too, where the speaker was conscious of a power of protection which the other did not possess—"we will go on to Frankfort, and lose ourselves, for a time, at least, in the numbers of people who throng a great town; and you have told me that Frankfort is a great town. We will still be husband and wife; we will take a small lodging, and you shall housekeep and live in-doors. I, as the rougher and the more alert, will continue my father's trade, and seek work at the tailors' shops."

"Now," said Amante, "all of this shows that M. de la Tourelle has suspected you would return to the place where you grew up, and he has been there, finding out that you haven't come back yet. But he probably still thinks you will, which is why he has recruited your sister-in-law as a sort of informant. Madame mentioned that her sister-in-law doesn’t have a great deal of goodwill towards her; and the slanderous story he’s spreading won’t help improve the way your sister-in-law sees you. No doubt the assassin was retracing his steps when we encountered him near Forbach, and after hearing about the poor German lady with her French maid and her pretty blonde looks, he followed her. If madame will still listen to me—and my child, I really hope you continue to trust me," said Amante, breaking away from her formal tone to speak more naturally, as those who had shared and escaped from danger often do—more naturally, too, since the speaker felt a protective strength that the other didn't have—"we’ll head to Frankfurt and blend in, at least for a while, with the crowds of a big city; and you’ve told me that Frankfurt is a big city. We will still act as husband and wife; we’ll find a small place to live, and you can manage the household and stay indoors. I, being the tougher and more alert one, will continue my father's trade and look for work at the tailors' shops."

I could think of no better plan, so we followed this out. In a back street at Frankfort we found two furnished rooms to let on a sixth story. The one we entered had no light from day; a dingy lamp swung perpetually from the ceiling, and from that, or from the open door leading into the bedroom beyond, came our only light. The bedroom was more cheerful, but very small. Such as it was, it almost exceeded our possible means. The money from the sale of my ring was almost exhausted, and Amante was a stranger in the place, speaking only French, moreover, and the good Germans were hating the French people right heartily. However, we succeeded better than our hopes, and even laid by a little against the time of my confinement. I never stirred abroad, and saw no one, and Amante's want of knowledge of German kept her in a state of comparative isolation.

I couldn’t think of a better plan, so we went ahead with this one. In a side street in Frankfurt, we found two furnished rooms available on the sixth floor. The one we entered had no natural light; a dim lamp hung constantly from the ceiling, and our only illumination came from that or the open door leading into the small bedroom beyond. The bedroom was brighter but quite cramped. Even so, it was nearly more than we could afford. The money from selling my ring was almost gone, and Amante was new to the area, speaking only French, which didn’t help since the Germans were currently not fond of the French. Nonetheless, we managed better than expected and even saved a little for when I would need it. I never went out and didn’t see anyone, and Amante’s lack of German kept her relatively isolated.

At length my child was born—my poor worse than fatherless child. It was a girl, as I had prayed for. I had feared lest a boy might have something of the tiger nature of its father, but a girl seemed all my own. And yet not all my own, for the faithful Amante's delight and glory in the babe almost exceeded mine; in outward show it certainly did.

At last, my child was born—my poor child who was worse than fatherless. It was a girl, just like I had hoped. I had worried that a boy might inherit some of the tiger-like nature of his father, but a girl felt like she was completely mine. And yet, not entirely mine, because the devoted Amante's joy and pride in the baby almost matched mine; in terms of outward expression, it definitely did.

We had not been able to afford any attendance beyond what a neighbouring sage-femme could give, and she came frequently, bringing in with her a little store of gossip, and wonderful tales culled out of her own experience, every time. One day she began to tell me about a great lady in whose service her daughter had lived as scullion, or some such thing. Such a beautiful lady! with such a handsome husband. But grief comes to the palace as well as to the garret, and why or wherefore no one knew, but somehow the Baron de Rœder must have incurred the vengeance of the terrible Chauffeurs; for not many months ago, as madame was going to see her relations in Alsace, she was stabbed dead as she lay in bed at some hotel on the road. Had I not seen it in the Gazette? Had I not heard? Why, she had been told that as far off as Lyons there were placards offering a heavy reward on the part of the Baron de Rœder for information respecting the murderer of his wife. But no one could help him, for all who could bear evidence were in such terror of the Chauffeurs; there were hundreds of them she had been told, rich and poor, great gentlemen and peasants, all leagued together by most frightful oaths to hunt to the death any one who bore witness against them; so that even they who survived the tortures to which the Chauffeurs subjected many of the people whom they plundered, dared not to recognise them again, would not dare, even did they see them at the bar of a court of justice; for, if one were condemned, were there not hundreds sworn to avenge his death?

We couldn't afford any medical care beyond what a nearby midwife could provide, and she visited often, bringing with her a bit of gossip and amazing stories from her own experiences every time. One day, she started telling me about a wealthy woman whose daughter had worked as a maid for her. Such a beautiful lady! And her husband was handsome too. But grief reaches even the richest, and for reasons no one understood, the Baron de Rœder must have brought down the wrath of the terrifying Chauffeurs. Just a few months ago, as the lady was on her way to visit family in Alsace, she was stabbed to death while lying in bed at a hotel on the way. Hadn’t I seen it in the Gazette? Hadn’t I heard? Apparently, even as far away as Lyon, there were posters offering a big reward from the Baron de Rœder for information about his wife's killer. But no one could help him, as everyone who could testify was living in such fear of the Chauffeurs; she'd heard there were hundreds of them, rich and poor, noblemen and peasants, all united by terrifying oaths to hunt down anyone who testified against them. Even those who survived the brutal treatment that the Chauffeurs inflicted on the people they robbed wouldn’t dare identify them again, even if they saw them in a court of law; because if one was convicted, there were hundreds sworn to avenge his death.

I told all this to Amante, and we began to fear that if M. de la Tourelle, or Lefebvre, or any of the gang at Les Rochers, had seen these placards, they would know that the poor lady stabbed by the former was the Baroness de Rœder, and that they would set forth again in search of me.

I shared all this with Amante, and we started to worry that if M. de la Tourelle, or Lefebvre, or anyone from the group at Les Rochers had seen these posters, they would realize that the poor woman stabbed by the former was the Baroness de Rœder, and they would start looking for me again.

This fresh apprehension told on my health and impeded my recovery. We had so little money we could not call in a physician, at least, not one in established practice. But Amante found out a young doctor for whom, indeed, she had sometimes worked; and offering to pay him in kind, she brought him to see me, her sick wife. He was very gentle and thoughtful, though, like ourselves, very poor. But he gave much time and consideration to the case, saying once to Amante that he saw my constitution had experienced some severe shock from which it was probable that my nerves would never entirely recover. By-and-by I shall name this doctor, and then you will know, better than I can describe, his character.

This new worry affected my health and slowed my recovery. We had so little money that we couldn't afford a doctor, at least not one with a solid reputation. But Amante found a young doctor she had sometimes worked for, and offering to pay him in kind, she brought him to see me, her sick wife. He was very kind and attentive, though, like us, he was quite poor. He dedicated a lot of time and consideration to my case, telling Amante at one point that he could see my body had gone through some serious stress, from which it was likely my nerves would never fully recover. Eventually, I'll mention this doctor by name, and then you'll have a better understanding of his character than I can express.

I grew strong in time—stronger, at least. I was able to work a little at home, and to sun myself and my baby at the garret-window in the roof. It was all the air I dared to take. I constantly wore the disguise I had first set out with; as constantly had I renewed the disfiguring dye which changed my hair and complexion. But the perpetual state of terror in which I had been during the whole months succeeding my escape from Les Rochers made me loathe the idea of ever again walking in the open daylight, exposed to the sight and recognition of every passer-by. In vain Amante reasoned—in vain the doctor urged. Docile in every other thing, in this I was obstinate. I would not stir out. One day Amante returned from her work, full of news—some of it good, some such as to cause us apprehension. The good news was this; the master for whom she worked as journeyman was going to send her with some others to a great house at the other side of Frankfort, where there were to be private theatricals, and where many new dresses and much alteration of old ones would be required. The tailors employed were all to stay at this house until the day of representation was over, as it was at some distance from the town, and no one could tell when their work would be ended. But the pay was to be proportionately good.

I got stronger over time—at least stronger than before. I could do a bit of work at home and soak up some sun with my baby by the attic window. That was all the fresh air I dared to take. I kept wearing the disguise I had started with; I kept reapplying the disfiguring dye that changed my hair and skin. But the constant fear I felt during the months after my escape from Les Rochers made me hate the thought of ever walking in daylight again, exposed to the eyes and recognition of anyone passing by. Amante tried to reason with me—so did the doctor. I was compliant with everything else, but I was stubborn on this. I just wouldn’t go out. One day, Amante came back from work, bursting with news—some good, some that made us anxious. The good news was that her boss, for whom she worked as a seamstress, was going to send her and others to a big house on the other side of Frankfurt, where there would be private theatrical performances, and many new costumes and alterations of old ones were needed. The tailors would all stay at that house until the show was over since it was some distance from the city, and no one knew when their work would be finished. But the pay was supposed to be pretty good.

The other thing she had to say was this: she had that day met the travelling jeweller to whom she and I had sold my ring. It was rather a peculiar one, given to me by my husband; we had felt at the time that it might be the means of tracing us, but we were penniless and starving, and what else could we do? She had seen that this Frenchman had recognised her at the same instant that she did him, and she thought at the same time that there was a gleam of more than common intelligence on his face as he did so. This idea had been confirmed by his following her for some way on the other side of the street; but she had evaded him with her better knowledge of the town, and the increasing darkness of the night. Still it was well that she was going to such a distance from our dwelling on the next day; and she had brought me in a stock of provisions, begging me to keep within doors, with a strange kind of fearful oblivion of the fact that I had never set foot beyond the threshold of the house since I had first entered it—scarce ever ventured down the stairs. But, although my poor, my dear, very faithful Amante was like one possessed that last night, she spoke continually of the dead, which is a bad sign for the living. She kissed you—yes! it was you, my daughter, my darling, whom I bore beneath my bosom away from the fearful castle of your father—I call him so for the first time, I must call him so once again before I have done—Amante kissed you, sweet baby, blessed little comforter, as if she never could leave off. And then she went away, alive.

The other thing she had to say was this: she had that day met the traveling jeweler to whom she and I had sold my ring. It was quite unusual, given to me by my husband; we had thought at the time that it might lead to us being found, but we were broke and starving, and what else could we do? She had noticed that this Frenchman recognized her the moment she recognized him, and she thought there was a spark of unusual intelligence on his face as he did. This thought was confirmed when he followed her for a while on the other side of the street; but she had managed to lose him with her better knowledge of the town and the growing darkness of the night. Still, it was good that she was going far away from our home the next day; and she had brought me supplies, asking me to stay inside, with a strange kind of fearful oblivion to the fact that I had never stepped outside the house since I first entered it—barely ever ventured down the stairs. But, although my poor, dear, very loyal Amante was like someone possessed that last night, she talked constantly about the dead, which is a bad sign for the living. She kissed you—yes! it was you, my daughter, my darling, whom I carried in my arms away from the terrifying castle of your father—I call him that for the first time, I must call him that once again before I finish—Amante kissed you, sweet baby, blessed little comforter, as if she could never stop. And then she left, alive.

Two days, three days passed away. That third evening I was sitting within my bolted doors—you asleep on your pillow by my side—when a step came up the stair, and I knew it must be for me; for ours were the topmost rooms. Some one knocked; I held my very breath. But some one spoke, and I knew it was the good Doctor Voss. Then I crept to the door, and answered.

Two days, three days went by. On that third evening, I was sitting behind my locked door—you asleep on your pillow beside me—when I heard a step coming up the stairs, and I knew it had to be for me since we were on the top floor. Someone knocked; I held my breath. But then someone spoke, and I recognized it was the good Doctor Voss. So, I quietly approached the door and answered.

"Are you alone?" asked I.

"Are you alone?" I asked.

"Yes," said he, in a still lower voice. "Let me in." I let him in, and he was as alert as I in bolting and barring the door. Then he came and whispered to me his doleful tale. He had come from the hospital in the opposite quarter of the town, the hospital which he visited; he should have been with me sooner, but he had feared lest he should be watched. He had come from Amante's death-bed. Her fears of the jeweller were too well founded. She had left the house where she was employed that morning, to transact some errand connected with her work in the town; she must have been followed, and dogged on her way back through solitary wood-paths, for some of the wood-rangers belonging to the great house had found her lying there, stabbed to death, but not dead; with the poniard again plunged through the fatal writing, once more; but this time with the word "un" underlined, so as to show that the assassin was aware of his previous mistake.

"Yeah," he said, in an even quieter voice. "Let me in." I opened the door for him, and he was as quick as I was to bolt and bar it. Then he came over and whispered his sad story to me. He had just come from the hospital in the opposite part of town, the one he visited; he would have arrived earlier, but he was worried about being watched. He had come from Amante's deathbed. Her fears about the jeweler were all too real. She had left the place where she worked that morning to run an errand in town; she must have been followed and stalked on her way back through lonely wood paths, because some of the wood rangers from the big house found her lying there, stabbed to death, but not dead; with the dagger once again plunged through the fatal note, this time with the word "un" underlined to show that the killer knew about his earlier mistake.

 

Numéro Un.
Ainsi les Chauffeurs se vengent.

Number One.
Thus the drivers take revenge.

 

They had carried her to the house, and given her restoratives till she had recovered the feeble use of her speech. But, oh, faithful, dear friend and sister! even then she remembered me, and refused to tell (what no one else among her fellow workmen knew), where she lived or with whom. Life was ebbing away fast, and they had no resource but to carry her to the nearest hospital, where, of course, the fact of her sex was made known. Fortunately both for her and for me, the doctor in attendance was the very Doctor Voss whom we already knew. To him, while awaiting her confessor, she told enough to enable him to understand the position in which I was left; before the priest had heard half her tale Amante was dead.

They had taken her to the house and given her treatments until she could barely speak again. But, oh, my loyal and dear friend and sister! even then she remembered me and refused to reveal (what no one else among her coworkers knew) where she lived or with whom. Life was slipping away quickly, and their only option was to take her to the nearest hospital, where her gender was, of course, made known. Luckily for both her and me, the doctor on duty was none other than Doctor Voss, who we already knew. While waiting for her priest, she shared enough with him to make him understand the situation I was left in; before the priest had even heard half her story, Amante was dead.

Doctor Voss told me he had made all sorts of détours, and waited thus, late at night, for fear of being watched and followed. But I do not think he was. At any rate, as I afterwards learnt from him, the Baron Rœder, on hearing of the similitude of this murder with that of his wife in every particular, made such a search after the assassins, that, although they were not discovered, they were compelled to take to flight for the time.

Doctor Voss told me he had taken all kinds of détours and waited late at night, worried about being watched or followed. But I don’t think he was. Anyway, as I later learned from him, Baron Rœder, upon hearing about how similar this murder was to his wife's in every way, searched for the killers so thoroughly that, even though they weren’t found, they had to flee for the time being.

I can hardly tell you now by what arguments Dr. Voss, at first merely my benefactor, sparing me a portion of his small modicum, at length persuaded me to become his wife. His wife he called it, I called it; for we went through the religious ceremony too much slighted at the time, and as we were both Lutherans, and M. de la Tourelle had pretended to be of the reformed religion, a divorce from the latter would have been easily procurable by German law both ecclesiastical and legal, could we have summoned so fearful a man into any court.

I can hardly explain what arguments Dr. Voss, who was initially just my benefactor, used to convince me to become his wife. He called me his wife, and I called myself that too, because we went through the religious ceremony that was often dismissed back then. Since we were both Lutherans and M. de la Tourelle had claimed to be of the reformed faith, getting a divorce from him would have been simple under German law, both church and civil, if we could have brought such a terrifying man into any court.

The good doctor took me and my child by stealth to his modest dwelling; and there I lived in the same deep retirement, never seeing the full light of day, although when the dye had once passed away from my face my husband did not wish me to renew it. There was no need; my yellow hair was grey, my complexion was ashen-coloured, no creature could have recognized the fresh-coloured, bright-haired young woman of eighteen months before. The few people whom I saw knew me only as Madame Voss; a widow much older than himself, whom Dr. Voss had secretly married. They called me the Grey Woman.

The good doctor secretly took my child and me to his simple home, and there I lived in complete seclusion, never seeing the bright light of day. Once the dye faded from my face, my husband didn’t want me to color it again. There was no need; my once yellow hair was now gray, and my complexion was pale, so no one would recognize the vibrant, young woman with bright hair I had been eighteen months ago. The few people I saw knew me only as Madame Voss, a widow much older than he was, whom Dr. Voss had married in secret. They called me the Grey Woman.

He made me give you his surname. Till now you have known no other father—while he lived you needed no father's love. Once only, only once more, did the old terror come upon me. For some reason which I forget, I broke through my usual custom, and went to the window of my room for some purpose, either to shut or to open it. Looking out into the street for an instant, I was fascinated by the sight of M. de la Tourelle, gay, young, elegant as ever, walking along on the opposite side of the street. The noise I had made with the window caused him to look up; he saw me, an old grey woman, and he did not recognize me! Yet it was not three years since we had parted, and his eyes were keen and dreadful like those of the lynx.

He made me give you his last name. Until now, you’ve only known one father—while he was alive, you didn’t need a father’s love. Once, just once more, the old fear came over me. For some reason I can't recall, I broke my usual routine and went to my window for something, either to open it or close it. For a moment, I looked out into the street and was captivated by the sight of M. de la Tourelle, cheerful, young, and as elegant as ever, walking on the other side of the street. The noise I made with the window made him look up; he saw me, an old grey woman, and he didn’t recognize me! Yet it hadn’t been three years since we parted, and his eyes were sharp and terrifying like those of a lynx.

I told M. Voss, on his return home, and he tried to cheer me, but the shock of seeing M. de la Tourelle had been too terrible for me. I was ill for long months afterwards.

I told M. Voss when he got back home, and he tried to lift my spirits, but seeing M. de la Tourelle had been too much for me. I was sick for many months afterward.

Once again I saw him. Dead. He and Lefebvre were at last caught; hunted down by the Baron de Rœder in some of their crimes. Dr. Voss had heard of their arrest; their condemnation, their death; but he never said a word to me, until one day he bade me show him that I loved him by my obedience and my trust. He took me a long carriage journey, where to I know not, for we never spoke of that day again; I was led through a prison, into a closed court-yard, where, decently draped in the last robes of death, concealing the marks of decapitation, lay M. de la Tourelle, and two or three others, whom I had known at Les Rochers.

Once again, I saw him. Dead. He and Lefebvre were finally caught; tracked down by Baron de Rœder for some of their crimes. Dr. Voss had heard about their arrest, their sentencing, their deaths; but he never mentioned it to me until one day he asked me to show my love for him through my obedience and trust. He took me on a long carriage ride, to a place I don't know, since we never talked about that day again; I was led through a prison, into a closed courtyard, where, decently covered in the last garments of death, hiding the marks of beheading, lay M. de la Tourelle, along with two or three others I had known at Les Rochers.

After that conviction Dr. Voss tried to persuade me to return to a more natural mode of life, and to go out more. But although I sometimes complied with his wish, yet the old terror was ever strong upon me, and he, seeing what an effort it was, gave up urging me at last.

After that conviction, Dr. Voss tried to convince me to go back to a more natural way of living and get out more. But even though I occasionally went along with his request, the old fear still loomed large over me, and seeing how much effort it took, he eventually stopped trying to persuade me.

You know all the rest. How we both mourned bitterly the loss of that dear husband and father—for such I will call him ever—and as such you must consider him, my child, after this one revelation is over.

You know everything else. How we both grieved deeply for the loss of that beloved husband and father—for that’s how I will always refer to him—and as such, you should think of him, my child, once this revelation is done.

Why has it been made, you ask. For this reason, my child. The lover, whom you have only known as M. Lebrun, a French artist, told me but yesterday his real name, dropped because the blood-thirsty republicans might consider it as too aristocratic. It is Maurice de Poissy.

Why was it created, you ask. For this reason, my child. The lover, whom you have only known as M. Lebrun, a French artist, told me just yesterday his real name, which he dropped because the bloodthirsty republicans might see it as too aristocratic. It is Maurice de Poissy.

 


 

 

CURIOUS IF TRUE.

(Excerpt from a letter by Richard Whittingham, Esq.)

You were formerly so much amused at my pride in my descent from that sister of Calvin's, who married a Whittingham, Dean of Durham, that I doubt if you will be able to enter into the regard for my distinguished relation that has led me to France, in order to examine registers and archives, which, I thought, might enable me to discover collateral descendants of the great reformer, with whom I might call cousins. I shall not tell you of my troubles and adventures in this research; you are not worthy to hear of them; but something so curious befel me one evening last August, that if I had not been perfectly certain I was wide awake, I might have taken it for a dream.

You used to find my pride in my ancestry, tracing back to that sister of Calvin's who married Whittingham, the Dean of Durham, pretty amusing. I wonder if you can understand the appreciation I have for my notable relative that drove me to France to look into records and archives, hoping to find some collateral descendants of the great reformer who I could consider cousins. I won’t share the troubles and adventures I faced during this search; you wouldn’t appreciate them. But something so strange happened to me one evening last August that, if I hadn’t been completely sure I was wide awake, I might have thought it was a dream.

For the purpose I have named, it was necessary that I should make Tours my head-quarters for a time. I had traced descendants of the Calvin family out of Normandy into the centre of France; but I found it was necessary to have a kind of permission from the bishop of the diocese before I could see certain family papers, which had fallen into the possession of the Church; and, as I had several English friends at Tours, I awaited the answer to my request to Monseigneur de ——, at that town. I was ready to accept any invitation; but I received very few; and was sometimes a little at a loss what to do with my evenings. The table d'hôte was at five o'clock; I did not wish to go to the expense of a private sitting-room, disliked the dinnery atmosphere of the salle à manger, could not play either at pool or billiards, and the aspect of my fellow guests was unprepossessing enough to make me unwilling to enter into any tête-à-tête gamblings with them. So I usually rose from table early, and tried to make the most of the remaining light of the August evenings in walking briskly off to explore the surrounding country; the middle of the day was too hot for this purpose, and better employed in lounging on a bench in the Boulevards, lazily listening to the distant band, and noticing with equal laziness the faces and figures of the women who passed by.

For the purpose I mentioned, I needed to make Tours my base for a while. I had traced the descendants of the Calvin family from Normandy to the heart of France, but I found it was necessary to get permission from the bishop of the diocese before I could access certain family documents that had come into the Church's possession. Since I had several English friends in Tours, I waited for a response to my request to Monseigneur de Got it! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize. in that town. I was open to any invitations, but I received very few, and sometimes I was a bit unsure of what to do with my evenings. The table d'hôte was at five o'clock; I didn’t want to splurge on a private sitting room, disliked the dining room atmosphere of the salle à manger, couldn’t play pool or billiards, and the appearance of my fellow guests was off-putting enough to make me reluctant to engage in any tête-à-tête games with them. So, I typically got up from the table early and tried to make the most of the remaining light of the August evenings by walking briskly to explore the surrounding area; midday was too hot for this, better spent lounging on a bench in the Boulevards, lazily listening to the distant band, and watching, with equal laziness, the faces and figures of the women passing by.

One Thursday evening, the 18th of August it was, I think, I had gone further than usual in my walk, and I found that it was later than I had imagined when I paused to turn back. I fancied I could make a round; I had enough notion of the direction in which I was, to see that by turning up a narrow straight lane to my left I should shorten my way back to Tours. And so I believe I should have done, could I have found an outlet at the right place, but field-paths are almost unknown in that part of France, and my lane, stiff and straight as any street, and marked into terribly vanishing perspective by the regular row of poplars on each side, seemed interminable. Of course night came on, and I was in darkness. In England I might have had a chance of seeing a light in some cottage only a field or two off, and asking my way from the inhabitants; but here I could see no such welcome sight; indeed, I believe French peasants go to bed with the summer daylight, so if there were any habitations in the neighbourhood I never saw them. At last—I believe I must have walked two hours in the darkness,—I saw the dusky outline of a wood on one side of the weariful lane, and, impatiently careless of all forest laws and penalties for trespassers, I made my way to it, thinking that if the worst came to the worst, I could find some covert—some shelter where I could lie down and rest, until the morning light gave me a chance of finding my way back to Tours. But the plantation, on the outskirts of what appeared to me a dense wood, was of young trees, too closely planted to be more than slender stems growing up to a good height, with scanty foliage on their summits. On I went towards the thicker forest, and once there I slackened my pace, and began to look about me for a good lair. I was as dainty as Lochiel's grandchild, who made his grandsire indignant at the luxury of his pillow of snow: this brake was too full of brambles, that felt damp with dew; there was no hurry, since I had given up all hope of passing the night between four walls; and I went leisurely groping about, and trusting that there were no wolves to be poked up out of their summer drowsiness by my stick, when all at once I saw a château before me, not a quarter of a mile off, at the end of what seemed to be an ancient avenue (now overgrown and irregular), which I happened to be crossing, when I looked to my right, and saw the welcome sight. Large, stately, and dark was its outline against the dusky night-sky; there were pepper-boxes and tourelles and what-not fantastically going up into the dim starlight. And more to the purpose still, though I could not see the details of the building that I was now facing, it was plain enough that there were lights in many windows, as if some great entertainment was going on.

One Thursday evening, August 18th, I think, I had walked further than usual, and I realized it was later than I expected when I stopped to turn back. I thought I could take a shortcut; I had a good sense of the direction I was going and saw that if I turned up a narrow lane to my left, I could cut my way back to Tours. I believe I would have done that if I could have found an exit at the right spot, but paths through fields are almost non-existent in that part of France. My lane, as stiff and straight as any street, and marked by a line of poplars on each side that seemed to stretch endlessly into the horizon, felt like it would go on forever. Naturally, night fell, and I was left in darkness. In England, I might have seen a light from a cottage just a field away and asked the residents for directions; but here, there was no such comforting sight. In fact, I believe the French peasants go to bed with the summer daylight, so if there were any homes nearby, I never spotted them. Finally—after what felt like two hours of trudging around in the dark—I saw the shadowy outline of woods on one side of the dreary lane. Impatient and unconcerned about forest laws or any penalties for trespassers, I headed toward it, thinking that, at worst, I could find some cover—some place to lie down and rest until morning light would help me find my way back to Tours. But the edge of what seemed like a thick wood was filled with young trees, planted too closely to do anything but grow up as slender trunks with sparse leaves at the top. I continued toward the denser part of the forest, and once I arrived, I slowed down and started looking for a suitable spot to settle. I was as picky as Lochiel's grandchild, who annoyed his grandfather by being too picky about sleeping on a bed of snow: this patch was too full of brambles, that one felt damp with dew; I didn’t need to rush since I had given up hope of spending the night indoors. I was casually feeling my way around, trusting that there weren’t any wolves to be startled awake by my stick, when suddenly I spotted a château in front of me, not a quarter of a mile away, at the end of what seemed to be an ancient, now overgrown and irregular avenue. When I looked to my right, I saw the welcome sight. Its large, stately, dark outline contrasted sharply against the dusky night sky, with pepper-box towers and other fanciful features reaching up into the dim starlight. More importantly, even though I couldn’t make out the details of the building, it was clear that there were lights in many windows, as if a grand event was taking place inside.

"They are hospitable people, at any rate," thought I. "Perhaps they will give me a bed. I don't suppose French propriétaires have traps and horses quite as plentiful as English gentlemen; but they are evidently having a large party, and some of their guests may be from Tours, and will give me a cast back to the Lion d'Or. I am not proud, and I am dog-tired. I am not above hanging on behind, if need be."

"They're friendly people, anyway," I thought. "Maybe they'll offer me a place to sleep. I doubt French property owners have as many carriages and horses as English gentlemen do, but they obviously have a big gathering, and some of their guests might be from Tours and could give me a ride back to the Lion d'Or. I'm not proud, and I'm exhausted. I won't hesitate to hitch a ride if I have to."

So, putting a little briskness and spirit into my walk, I went up to the door, which was standing open, most hospitably, and showing a large lighted hall, all hung round with spoils of the chase, armour, &c., the details of which I had not time to notice, for the instant I stood on the threshold a huge porter appeared, in a strange, old-fashioned dress, a kind of livery which well befitted the general appearance of the house. He asked me, in French (so curiously pronounced that I thought I had hit upon a new kind of patois), my name, and whence I came. I thought he would not be much the wiser, still it was but civil to give it before I made my request for assistance; so, in reply, I said—

So, adding a bit of energy and enthusiasm to my walk, I approached the door, which stood wide open, welcoming me with a bright, spacious hall decorated with hunting trophies, armor, and other items. I didn’t have time to take in the details because the moment I stepped onto the threshold, a large porter appeared, dressed in an unusual, old-fashioned uniform that suited the overall vibe of the house. He asked me, in French (with such a peculiar accent that I thought I encountered a new dialect), my name and where I was from. I figured he wouldn’t really understand much anyway, but it seemed polite to provide it before asking for help; so, in response, I said—

"My name is Whittingham—Richard Whittingham, an English gentleman, staying at ——." To my infinite surprise, a light of pleased intelligence came over the giant's face; he made me a low bow, and said (still in the same curious dialect) that I was welcome, that I was long expected.

"My name is Whittingham—Richard Whittingham, an English gentleman, staying at Understood! Please provide the text you would like modernized.." To my great surprise, a look of happy understanding spread across the giant's face; he gave me a deep bow and said (still in the same strange dialect) that I was welcome and that I had been eagerly awaited.

"Long expected!" What could the fellow mean? Had I stumbled on a nest of relations by John Calvin's side, who had heard of my genealogical inquiries, and were gratified and interested by them? But I was too much pleased to be under shelter for the night to think it necessary to account for my agreeable reception before I enjoyed it. Just as he was opening the great heavy battants of the door that led from the hall to the interior, he turned round and said,—

"Long expected!" What could that guy mean? Did I accidentally come across a group of relatives by John Calvin's side, who had heard about my family tree searches and found them interesting and exciting? But I was too happy to have a place to stay for the night to worry about why I was being welcomed so warmly before I actually enjoyed it. Just as he was opening the big heavy battants of the door that led from the hall to the inside, he turned around and said,—

"Apparently Monsieur le Géanquilleur is not come with you."

"Apparently Monsieur le Géanquilleur hasn't come with you."

"No! I am all alone; I have lost my way,"—and I was going on with my explanation, when he, as if quite indifferent to it, led the way up a great stone staircase, as wide as many rooms, and having on each landing-place massive iron wickets, in a heavy framework; these the porter unlocked with the solemn slowness of age. Indeed, a strange, mysterious awe of the centuries that had passed away since this château was built, came over me as I waited for the turning of the ponderous keys in the ancient locks. I could almost have fancied that I heard a mighty rushing murmur (like the ceaseless sound of a distant sea, ebbing and flowing for ever and for ever), coming forth from the great vacant galleries that opened out on each side of the broad staircase, and were to be dimly perceived in the darkness above us. It was as if the voices of generations of men yet echoed and eddied in the silent air. It was strange, too, that my friend the porter going before me, ponderously infirm, with his feeble old hands striving in vain to keep the tall flambeau he held steadily before him,—strange, I say, that he was the only domestic I saw in the vast halls and passages, or met with on the grand staircase. At length we stood before the gilded doors that led into the saloon where the family—or it might be the company, so great was the buzz of voices—was assembled. I would have remonstrated when I found he was going to introduce me, dusty and travel-smeared, in a morning costume that was not even my best, into this grand salon, with nobody knew how many ladies and gentlemen assembled; but the obstinate old man was evidently bent upon taking me straight to his master, and paid no heed to my words.

"No! I'm all alone; I've lost my way," —and I was continuing my explanation when he, seemingly indifferent, led the way up a grand stone staircase, as wide as many rooms, with massive iron gates at each landing, all encased in heavy frames; the porter unlocked these with the solemn slowness that comes with age. A strange, mysterious awe of the centuries that had passed since this château was built washed over me as I waited for the heavy keys to turn in the ancient locks. I could almost imagine hearing a powerful, rushing murmur (like the endless sound of a distant sea, ebbing and flowing forever), coming from the vast empty galleries that opened out on either side of the broad staircase, barely visible in the darkness above us. It felt as if the voices of generations lingered and swirled in the still air. It was also curious that my friend the porter, leading me with his heavy, frail form, struggled with his weak old hands to keep the tall torch he held steady in front of him—strange, I say, that he was the only servant I saw in the enormous halls and corridors, or encountered on the grand staircase. Eventually, we stood before the gilded doors that opened into the salon where the family—or perhaps the guests, considering the great buzz of voices—was gathered. I would have protested when I realized he was about to introduce me, dusty and travel-stained, in a morning outfit that wasn’t even my best, into this grand salon, with who knows how many ladies and gentlemen present; but the stubborn old man was clearly determined to take me straight to his master and ignored my words.

The doors flew open, and I was ushered into a saloon curiously full of pale light, which did not culminate on any spot, nor proceed from any centre, nor flicker with any motion of the air, but filled every nook and corner, making all things deliciously distinct; different from our light of gas or candle, as is the difference between a clear southern atmosphere and that of our misty England.

The doors swung open, and I was welcomed into a saloon oddly filled with soft light that didn't focus on any particular spot, didn't come from any central source, and didn't flicker with any movement in the air, but illuminated every nook and cranny, making everything wonderfully clear; different from our gas or candlelight, just like the difference between a bright southern sky and the cloudy atmosphere of our misty England.

At the first moment, my arrival excited no attention, the apartment was so full of people, all intent on their own conversation. But my friend the porter went up to a handsome lady of middle age, richly attired in that antique manner which fashion has brought round again of late years, and, waiting first in an attitude of deep respect till her attention fell upon him, told her my name and something about me, as far as I could guess from the gestures of the one and the sudden glance of the eye of the other.

At first, my arrival didn’t grab anyone's attention; the apartment was packed with people, all focused on their own conversations. But my friend the doorman approached a beautiful middle-aged lady, dressed elegantly in that vintage style that fashion has recently revived, and, standing respectfully until she noticed him, told her my name and a bit about me, based on the gestures of one and the sudden look in the eye of the other.

She immediately came towards me with the most friendly actions of greeting, even before she had advanced near enough to speak. Then,—and was it not strange?—her words and accent were that of the commonest peasant of the country. Yet she herself looked high-bred, and would have been dignified had she been a shade less restless, had her countenance worn a little less lively and inquisitive expression. I had been poking a good deal about the old parts of Tours, and had had to understand the dialect of the people who dwelt in the Marché au Vendredi and similar places, or I really should not have understood my handsome hostess, as she offered to present me to her husband, a henpecked, gentlemanly man, who was more quaintly attired than she in the very extreme of that style of dress. I thought to myself that in France, as in England, it is the provincials who carry fashion to such an excess as to become ridiculous.

She immediately approached me with the friendliest gestures of greeting, even before she got close enough to speak. Then—wasn't it strange?—her words and accent were that of the most ordinary peasant from the area. Yet she seemed aristocratic, and would have appeared dignified if she weren't so restless, with a face that looked a bit too lively and curious. I had been exploring the older parts of Tours and had to learn the dialect of the people living in places like the Marché au Vendredi, or I really wouldn't have understood my lovely hostess as she offered to introduce me to her husband, a timid yet refined man, who was dressed in an even more eccentric style than she was. I thought to myself that in France, just like in England, it's the locals who take fashion to such extremes that it becomes ridiculous.

However, he spoke (still in the patois) of his pleasure in making my acquaintance, and led me to a strange uneasy easy-chair, much of a piece with the rest of the furniture, which might have taken its place without any anachronism by the side of that in the Hôtel Cluny. Then again began the clatter of French voices, which my arrival had for an instant interrupted, and I had leisure to look about me. Opposite to me sat a very sweet-looking lady, who must have been a great beauty in her youth, I should think, and would be charming in old age, from the sweetness of her countenance. She was, however, extremely fat, and on seeing her feet laid up before her on a cushion, I at once perceived that they were so swollen as to render her incapable of walking, which probably brought on her excessive embonpoint. Her hands were plump and small, but rather coarse-grained in texture, not quite so clean as they might have been, and altogether not so aristocratic-looking as the charming face. Her dress was of superb black velvet, ermine-trimmed, with diamonds thrown all abroad over it.

However, he spoke (still in the patois) about how happy he was to meet me and led me to an oddly uncomfortable armchair that fit in perfectly with the rest of the furniture, which could have easily belonged next to that in the Hôtel Cluny. Then the sound of French voices started up again, which my arrival had briefly interrupted, and I had a chance to look around. Across from me sat a very sweet-looking lady who must have been a real beauty in her youth and would still be charming in her old age, given the kindness in her face. However, she was extremely overweight, and when I noticed her feet resting on a cushion, I immediately saw they were so swollen she couldn’t walk, which likely contributed to her significant embonpoint. Her hands were plump and small but had a somewhat rough texture, not quite as clean as they could have been, and overall didn’t look as aristocratic as her lovely face. She was dressed in stunning black velvet, trimmed with ermine, and adorned with diamonds scattered all over it.

Not far from her stood the least little man I had ever seen; of such admirable proportions no one could call him a dwarf, because with that word we usually associate something of deformity; but yet with an elfin look of shrewd, hard, worldly wisdom in his face that marred the impression which his delicate regular little features would otherwise have conveyed. Indeed, I do not think he was quite of equal rank with the rest of the company, for his dress was inappropriate to the occasion (and he apparently was an invited, while I was an involuntary guest); and one or two of his gestures and actions were more like the tricks of an uneducated rustic than anything else. To explain what I mean: his boots had evidently seen much service, and had been re-topped, re-heeled, re-soled to the extent of cobbler's powers. Why should he have come in them if they were not his best—his only pair? And what can be more ungenteel than poverty? Then again he had an uneasy trick of putting his hand up to his throat, as if he expected to find something the matter with it; and he had the awkward habit—which I do not think he could have copied from Dr. Johnson, because most probably he had never heard of him—of trying always to retrace his steps on the exact boards on which he had trodden to arrive at any particular part of the room. Besides, to settle the question, I once heard him addressed as Monsieur Poucet, without any aristocratic "de" for a prefix; and nearly every one else in the room was a marquis, at any rate.

Not far from her stood the tiniest man I had ever seen; with such admirable proportions, no one could call him a dwarf, as that word usually suggests some kind of deformity; but he had an elfin look of sharp, hard, worldly wisdom in his face that ruined the impression his delicate, regular little features might have otherwise created. In fact, I don’t think he was quite on the same level as the rest of the group, since his outfit was inappropriate for the occasion (and he clearly was invited, while I was an unintentional guest); and one or two of his gestures and actions seemed more like those of an uneducated country person than anything else. To explain what I mean: his boots had clearly seen a lot of wear and had been repaired to the fullest extent a cobbler could manage. Why would he have worn them if they weren't his best—his only pair? And what could be more uncouth than poverty? Moreover, he had an uncomfortable habit of putting his hand up to his throat, as if he expected to find something wrong with it; and he had the awkward habit—which I don’t think he could have imitated from Dr. Johnson, since he probably had never heard of him—of always trying to step back onto the exact floorboards he had walked on to reach any specific part of the room. Additionally, to clarify his status, I once heard him called Monsieur Poucet, without any aristocratic "de" before his name; and nearly everyone else in the room was a marquis, at least.

I say, "nearly every one;" for some strange people had the entrée; unless, indeed, they were, like me, benighted. One of the guests I should have taken for a servant, but for the extraordinary influence he seemed to have over the man I took for his master, and who never did anything without, apparently, being urged thereto by this follower. The master, magnificently dressed, but ill at ease in his clothes, as if they had been made for some one else, was a weak-looking, handsome man, continually sauntering about, and I almost guessed an object of suspicion to some of the gentlemen present, which, perhaps, drove him on the companionship of his follower, who was dressed something in the style of an ambassador's chasseur; yet it was not a chasseur's dress after all; it was something more thoroughly old-world; boots half way up his ridiculously small legs, which clattered as he walked along, as if they were too large for his little feet; and a great quantity of grey fur, as trimming to coat, court-mantle, boots, cap—everything. You know the way in which certain countenances remind you perpetually of some animal, be it bird or beast! Well, this chasseur (as I will call him for want of a better name) was exceedingly like the great Tom-cat that you have seen so often in my chambers, and laughed at almost as often for his uncanny gravity of demeanour. Grey whiskers has my Tom—grey whiskers had the chasseur: grey hair overshadows the upper lip of my Tom—grey mustachios hid that of the chasseur. The pupils of Tom's eyes dilate and contract as I had thought cats' pupils only could do, until I saw those of the chasseur. To be sure, canny as Tom is, the chasseur had the advantage in the more intelligent expression. He seemed to have obtained most complete sway over his master or patron, whose looks he watched, and whose steps he followed, with a kind of distrustful interest that puzzled me greatly.

I say, "almost everyone;" because some strange people had access; unless, of course, they were, like me, out of the loop. One of the guests I might have mistaken for a servant, except for the unusual influence he seemed to have over the man I assumed was his master, who never seemed to do anything without being prompted by this follower. The master, dressed exceptionally well but uncomfortable in his clothes, as if they were made for someone else, was a weak-looking, handsome man, constantly wandering around. I almost suspected he was being judged by some of the gentlemen present, which might have pushed him to stick with his follower, who was dressed somewhat like an ambassador's attendant; yet it wasn't quite an attendant's outfit; it had an old-fashioned feel to it. He wore boots that came halfway up his ridiculously small legs, which clattered as he walked, almost as if they were too big for his small feet; and there was a lot of grey fur trimming on his coat, cloak, boots, and cap—everything. You know how some faces constantly remind you of some animal, be it bird or beast? Well, this attendant (as I'll call him for lack of a better term) looked strikingly like the great Tom-cat that you have seen so often in my chambers, and laughed at almost as frequently for his oddly serious demeanor. My Tom has grey whiskers – the attendant had grey whiskers too: grey hair covers the upper lip of my Tom—grey mustachios hid that of the attendant. The pupils of Tom's eyes dilate and contract as I had thought only cats could do, until I saw those of the attendant. Sure, as clever as Tom is, the attendant had the edge in a more intelligent expression. He seemed to have complete control over his master or patron, whose expressions he monitored and whose movements he followed with a kind of wary interest that confused me greatly.

There were several other groups in the more distant part of the saloon, all of the stately old school, all grand and noble, I conjectured from their bearing. They seemed perfectly well acquainted with each other, as if they were in the habit of meeting. But I was interrupted in my observations by the tiny little gentleman on the opposite side of the room coming across to take a place beside me. It is no difficult matter to a Frenchman to slide into conversation, and so gracefully did my pigmy friend keep up the character of the nation, that we were almost confidential before ten minutes had elapsed.

There were several other groups in the far part of the saloon, all from the elegant old school, all grand and dignified, judging by their demeanor. They seemed to know each other well, as if it was a regular gathering for them. But my observations were interrupted when a tiny little man from the opposite side of the room came over to sit next to me. It’s not hard for a Frenchman to start a conversation, and my small friend did it so smoothly that we were almost sharing secrets within ten minutes.

Now I was quite aware that the welcome which all had extended to me, from the porter up to the vivacious lady and meek lord of the castle, was intended for some other person. But it required either a degree of moral courage, of which I cannot boast, or the self-reliance and conversational powers of a bolder and cleverer man than I, to undeceive people who had fallen into so fortunate a mistake for me. Yet the little man by my side insinuated himself so much into my confidence, that I had half a mind to tell him of my exact situation, and to turn him into a friend and an ally.

Now I was fully aware that the warm welcome I received from everyone, from the doorman to the lively lady and gentle lord of the castle, was meant for someone else. But it took either a level of moral bravery that I don’t possess, or the self-confidence and conversation skills of someone bolder and smarter than I am, to set the record straight for those who had mistakenly treated me so kindly. Still, the little man beside me had wormed his way into my trust so much that I almost decided to share my true situation with him and make him a friend and ally.

"Madame is perceptibly growing older," said he, in the midst of my perplexity, glancing at our hostess.

"Madame is clearly getting older," he said, in the middle of my confusion, looking at our hostess.

"Madame is still a very fine woman," replied I.

"Madame is still a very impressive woman," I replied.

"Now, is it not strange," continued he, lowering his voice, "how women almost invariably praise the absent, or departed, as if they were angels of light, while as for the present, or the living"—here he shrugged up his little shoulders, and made an expressive pause. "Would you believe it! Madame is always praising her late husband to monsieur's face; till, in fact, we guests are quite perplexed how to look: for, you know, the late M. de Retz's character was quite notorious,—everybody has heard of him." All the world of Touraine, thought I, but I made an assenting noise.

"Isn't it strange," he said, lowering his voice, "how women almost always praise those who are absent or have passed away, as if they were angels, while they seem to overlook those who are right in front of them?" He shrugged his little shoulders and paused for effect. "Can you believe it? Madame constantly sings the praises of her late husband right in front of Monsieur; it leaves us guests feeling unsure about how to react. I mean, everyone knows about the notorious reputation of the late M. de Retz." I thought, all of Touraine knows that, but I just nodded in agreement.

At this instant, monsieur our host came up to me, and with a civil look of tender interest (such as some people put on when they inquire after your mother, about whom they do not care one straw), asked if I had heard lately how my cat was? "How my cat was!" What could the man mean? My cat! Could he mean the tailless Tom, born in the Isle of Man, and now supposed to be keeping guard against the incursions of rats and mice into my chambers in London? Tom is, as you know, on pretty good terms with some of my friends, using their legs for rubbing-posts without scruple, and highly esteemed by them for his gravity of demeanour, and wise manner of winking his eyes. But could his fame have reached across the Channel? However, an answer must be returned to the inquiry, as monsieur's face was bent down to mine with a look of polite anxiety; so I, in my turn, assumed an expression of gratitude, and assured him that, to the best of my belief, my cat was in remarkably good health.

At that moment, our host approached me with a polite look of genuine concern (like some people have when they ask about your mother but really don’t care at all) and asked if I had heard how my cat was doing lately. "How my cat?" What could he mean? My cat! Could he be referring to the tailless Tom, who was born on the Isle of Man and is now thought to be guarding against rats and mice in my London rooms? Tom, as you know, gets along quite well with some of my friends, using their legs as scratching posts without hesitation and is highly regarded for his serious demeanor and wise eye-winking. But could his reputation have traveled across the Channel? Regardless, I had to respond to his question since he was looking at me with polite concern, so I put on a thankful expression and assured him that, as far as I knew, my cat was in very good health.

"And the climate agrees with her?"

"And the weather is in her favor?"

"Perfectly," said I, in a maze of wonder at this deep solicitude in a tailless cat who had lost one foot and half an ear in some cruel trap. My host smiled a sweet smile, and, addressing a few words to my little neighbour, passed on.

"Exactly," I said, feeling amazed by the deep concern from a tailless cat who had lost one foot and half an ear in some cruel trap. My host smiled a gentle smile and, saying a few words to my little neighbor, moved on.

"How wearisome those aristocrats are!" quoth my neighbour, with a slight sneer. "Monsieur's conversation rarely extends to more than two sentences to any one. By that time his faculties are exhausted, and he needs the refreshment of silence. You and I, monsieur, are, at any rate, indebted to our own wits for our rise in the world!"

"How tiresome those aristocrats are!" my neighbor said with a slight sneer. "Monsieur's conversation rarely goes beyond two sentences with anyone. By then, his mental faculties are spent, and he needs the refreshment of silence. You and I, monsieur, are at least reliant on our own brains for our success in life!"

Here again I was bewildered! As you know, I am rather proud of my descent from families which, if not noble themselves, are allied to nobility,—and as to my "rise in the world"—if I had risen, it would have been rather for balloon-like qualities than for mother-wit, to being unencumbered with heavy ballast either in my head or my pockets. However, it was my cue to agree: so I smiled again.

Here I was, confused once more! As you know, I'm pretty proud of my background from families that, while not exactly noble, have ties to nobility. And as for my "rise in the world"—if I can call it that, it would be more due to some inflated qualities than real smarts, as I don't carry any heavy burdens in my head or my pockets. Still, it was my role to go along with it: so I smiled again.

"For my part," said he, "if a man does not stick at trifles, if he knows how to judiciously add to, or withhold facts, and is not sentimental in his parade of humanity, he is sure to do well; sure to affix a de or von to his name, and end his days in comfort. There is an example of what I am saying"—and he glanced furtively at the weak-looking master of the sharp, intelligent servant, whom I have called the chasseur.

"For my part," he said, "if a guy doesn't get hung up on small stuff, if he knows how to wisely add or hold back information, and isn't overly sentimental about humanity, he's bound to succeed; definitely going to add a de or von to his name and end his life comfortably. There's an example of what I'm talking about"—and he glanced sideways at the frail-looking master of the sharp, clever servant, whom I've referred to as the chasseur.

"Monsieur le Marquis would never have been anything but a miller's son, if it had not been for the talents of his servant. Of course you know his antecedents?"

"Monsieur le Marquis would have simply been a miller's son if it weren't for his servant's talents. Of course, you know his background?"

I was going to make some remarks on the changes in the order of the peerage since the days of Louis XVI.—going, in fact, to be very sensible and historical—when there was a slight commotion among the people at the other end of the room. Lacqueys in quaint liveries must have come in from behind the tapestry, I suppose (for I never saw them enter, though I sate right opposite to the doors), and were handing about the slight beverages and slighter viands which are considered sufficient refreshments, but which looked rather meagre to my hungry appetite. These footmen were standing solemnly opposite to a lady,—beautiful, splendid as the dawn, but—sound asleep in a magnificent settee. A gentleman who showed so much irritation at her ill-timed slumbers, that I think he must have been her husband, was trying to awaken her with actions not far removed from shakings. All in vain; she was quite unconscious of his annoyance, or the smiles of the company, or the automatic solemnity of the waiting footman, or the perplexed anxiety of monsieur and madame.

I was about to make some comments on the changes in the peerage since the days of Louis XVI.—going to be quite insightful and historical—when there was a bit of commotion at the other end of the room. Servants in unusual uniforms must have come in from behind the tapestries, I assume (since I never saw them enter, even though I was sitting right across from the doors), and were passing around the light drinks and even lighter snacks that are considered enough for refreshments, but which seemed pretty meager to my hungry stomach. These footmen were standing seriously in front of a lady—beautiful and radiant like dawn, yet—sound asleep on a magnificent sofa. A gentleman who looked so frustrated at her poorly timed nap that I guessed he must be her husband, was trying to wake her up with gestures that were almost shaking. All in vain; she was completely unaware of his annoyance, the amused smiles of the guests, the serious demeanor of the waiting footman, or the confused worry of monsieur and madame.

My little friend sat down with a sneer, as if his curiosity was quenched in contempt.

My little friend sat down with a smirk, as if his curiosity was satisfied by disdain.

"Moralists would make an infinity of wise remarks on that scene," said he. "In the first place, note the ridiculous position into which their superstitious reverence for rank and title puts all these people. Because monsieur is a reigning prince over some minute principality, the exact situation of which no one has as yet discovered, no one must venture to take their glass of eau sucré till Madame la Princesse awakens; and, judging from past experience, those poor lacqueys may have to stand for a century before that happens. Next—always speaking as a moralist, you will observe—note how difficult it is to break off bad habits acquired in youth!"

"Moralists would have countless wise things to say about that scene," he said. "First, notice the absurd position that their superstitious respect for rank and title puts all these people in. Just because monsieur is a reigning prince of some tiny principality, which no one has figured out the exact location of yet, nobody is allowed to have their glass of sweet water until Madame la Princesse wakes up; and judging by past experiences, those poor lackeys might have to wait forever for that to happen. Next—speaking as a moralist again—you'll notice how hard it is to break bad habits formed in youth!"

Just then the prince succeeded, by what means I did not see, in awaking the beautiful sleeper. But at first she did not remember where she was, and looking up at her husband with loving eyes, she smiled and said:

Just then, the prince managed, by means I couldn't see, to wake the beautiful sleeper. But at first, she didn't remember where she was, and looking up at her husband with loving eyes, she smiled and said:

"Is it you, my prince?"

"Is it you, my prince?"

But he was too conscious of the suppressed amusement of the spectators and his own consequent annoyance, to be reciprocally tender, and turned away with some little French expression, best rendered into English by "Pooh, pooh, my dear!"

But he was too aware of the suppressed laughter from the onlookers and his own resulting irritation to be affectionate in return, so he turned away with a little French phrase that translates to "Pooh, pooh, my dear!"

After I had had a glass of delicious wine of some unknown quality, my courage was in rather better plight than before, and I told my cynical little neighbour—whom I must say I was beginning to dislike—that I had lost my way in the wood, and had arrived at the château quite by mistake.

After I had a glass of delicious wine of some unknown quality, I felt braver than before, so I told my cynical little neighbor—whom I was starting to dislike—that I had gotten lost in the woods and had ended up at the château by mistake.

He seemed mightily amused at my story; said that the same thing had happened to himself more than once; and told me that I had better luck than he had on one of these occasions, when, from his account, he must have been in considerable danger of his life. He ended his story by making me admire his boots, which he said he still wore, patched though they were, and all their excellent quality lost by patching, because they were of such a first-rate make for long pedestrian excursions. "Though, indeed," he wound up by saying, "the new fashion of railroads would seem to supersede the necessity for this description of boots."

He seemed really entertained by my story; he said the same thing had happened to him more than once and that I had better luck than he did on one of those occasions when, by his account, he was in serious danger. He wrapped up his story by asking me to admire his boots, which he still wore despite being patched up, and all their great quality lost because of it, since they were incredibly well-made for long walks. "Though, honestly," he concluded, "the new trend of railroads seems to make these kinds of boots unnecessary."

When I consulted him as to whether I ought to make myself known to my host and hostess as a benighted traveller, instead of the guest whom they had taken me for, he exclaimed, "By no means! I hate such squeamish morality." And he seemed much offended by my innocent question, as if it seemed by implication to condemn something in himself. He was offended and silent; and just at this moment I caught the sweet, attractive eyes of the lady opposite—that lady whom I named at first as being no longer in the bloom of youth, but as being somewhat infirm about the feet, which were supported on a raised cushion before her. Her looks seemed to say, "Come here, and let us have some conversation together;" and, with a bow of silent excuse to my little companion, I went across to the lame old lady. She acknowledged my coming with the prettiest gesture of thanks possible; and, half apologetically, said, "It is a little dull to be unable to move about on such evenings as this; but it is a just punishment to me for my early vanities. My poor feet, that were by nature so small, are now taking their revenge for my cruelty in forcing them into such little slippers…. Besides, monsieur," with a pleasant smile, "I thought it was possible you might be weary of the malicious sayings of your little neighbour. He has not borne the best character in his youth, and such men are sure to be cynical in their old age."

When I asked him if I should introduce myself to my host and hostess as a lost traveler instead of the guest they thought I was, he exclaimed, “No way! I can’t stand that kind of stuffy morality.” He seemed really offended by my innocent question, as if it implied something negative about him. He was upset and silent; and just then, I caught the lovely, inviting eyes of the woman across from me—the lady I had initially described as past her prime, though still attractive, sitting with her feet supported on a cushion. Her expression seemed to invite me to come over for a chat; so, after silently excusing myself to my young companion, I made my way to the older lady. She welcomed my approach with the sweetest gesture of thanks possible and, somewhat apologetically, said, “It’s a bit dull not being able to move around on evenings like this; but it’s a fitting punishment for my early vanity. My poor feet, which were naturally so small, are now getting their revenge for my mistreatment by cramming them into such tiny slippers… Besides, monsieur,” she added with a pleasant smile, “I thought you might be tired of the malicious remarks from your little neighbor. He didn’t have the best reputation in his youth, and men like that tend to become cynical as they age.”

"Who is he?" asked I, with English abruptness.

"Who is he?" I asked, somewhat abruptly.

"His name is Poucet, and his father was, I believe, a wood-cutter, or charcoal burner, or something of the sort. They do tell sad stories of connivance at murder, ingratitude, and obtaining money on false pretences—but you will think me as bad as he if I go on with my slanders. Rather let us admire the lovely lady coming up towards us, with the roses in her hand—I never see her without roses, they are so closely connected with her past history, as you are doubtless aware. Ah, beauty!" said my companion to the lady drawing near to us, "it is like you to come to me, now that I can no longer go to you." Then turning to me, and gracefully drawing me into the conversation, she said, "You must know that, although we never met until we were both married, we have been almost like sisters ever since. There have been so many points of resemblance in our circumstances, and I think I may say in our characters. We had each two elder sisters—mine were but half-sisters, though—who were not so kind to us as they might have been."

"His name is Poucet, and I believe his father was a woodcutter or maybe a charcoal burner. People tell sad stories about unethical behavior involving murder, ingratitude, and getting money through lies—but if I keep going with these accusations, you might think I’m just as bad as he is. Instead, let’s admire the beautiful lady approaching us with roses in her hand—I never see her without roses, as they are closely tied to her past, as you likely know. ‘Ah, beauty!’" my companion said to the lady coming near us, "it’s typical of you to come to me now that I can’t go to you." Then, turning to me and gracefully bringing me into the conversation, she said, "You should know that even though we had never met until we were both married, we’ve been almost like sisters ever since. There have been so many similarities in our situations, and I think I can say in our personalities too. We both had two older sisters—though mine were only half-sisters—who weren’t as kind to us as they should have been."

"But have been sorry for it since," put in the other lady.

"But I've been sorry for it ever since," added the other lady.

"Since we have married princes," continued the same lady, with an arch smile that had nothing of unkindness in it, "for we both have married far above our original stations in life; we are both unpunctual in our habits, and, in consequence of this failing of ours, we have both had to suffer mortification and pain."

"Since we’ve both married princes," the same lady continued, with a playful smile that was completely friendly, "we’ve both risen well above where we started in life. We both tend to be late, and because of this habit of ours, we’ve both had to deal with embarrassment and hurt."

"And both are charming," said a whisper close behind me. "My lord the marquis, say it—say, 'And both are charming.'"

"And both are charming," a whisper came from just behind me. "My lord the marquis, say it—say, 'And both are charming.'"

"And both are charming," was spoken aloud by another voice. I turned, and saw the wily cat-like chasseur, prompting his master to make civil speeches.

"And both are charming," said another voice. I turned and saw the cunning, cat-like chasseur, encouraging his master to make polite remarks.

The ladies bowed with that kind of haughty acknowledgment which shows that compliments from such a source are distasteful. But our trio of conversation was broken up, and I was sorry for it. The marquis looked as if he had been stirred up to make that one speech, and hoped that he would not be expected to say more; while behind him stood the chasseur, half impertinent and half servile in his ways and attitudes. The ladies, who were real ladies, seemed to be sorry for the awkwardness of the marquis, and addressed some trifling questions to him, adapting themselves to the subjects on which he could have no trouble in answering. The chasseur, meanwhile, was talking to himself in a growling tone of voice. I had fallen a little into the background at this interruption in a conversation which promised to be so pleasant, and I could not help hearing his words.

The ladies bowed with a sort of arrogant acknowledgment that made it clear compliments from such people were unwelcome. But our little chat was interrupted, and I was really disappointed about it. The marquis looked like he had to work up the courage to make that one comment and hoped he wouldn’t have to say anything else; behind him stood the chasseur, somewhat rude and somewhat servile in his mannerisms. The ladies, who were genuinely refined, seemed to feel bad for the marquis’s discomfort and asked him some light questions, sticking to topics he could easily handle. Meanwhile, the chasseur was muttering to himself in a grumpy tone. I had kind of drifted into the background during this disruption of a conversation that seemed like it would be so enjoyable, and I couldn’t help but overhear his words.

"Really, De Carabas grows more stupid every day. I have a great mind to throw off his boots, and leave him to his fate. I was intended for a court, and to a court I will go, and make my own fortune as I have made his. The emperor will appreciate my talents."

"Honestly, De Carabas gets dumber every day. I'm really tempted to kick off his boots and let him deal with the consequences. I was meant for a royal court, and that's where I'm headed, to make my own fortune just like I made his. The emperor will recognize my skills."

And such are the habits of the French, or such his forgetfulness of good manners in his anger, that he spat right and left on the parquetted floor.

And such are the habits of the French, or such his forgetfulness of good manners in his anger, that he spat right and left on the parquetted floor.

Just then a very ugly, very pleasant-looking man, came towards the two ladies to whom I had lately been speaking, leading up to them a delicate, fair woman, dressed all in the softest white, as if she were vouée au blanc. I do not think there was a bit of colour about her. I thought I heard her making, as she came along, a little noise of pleasure, not exactly like the singing of a tea-kettle, nor yet like the cooing of a dove, but reminding me of each sound.

Just then, a very unattractive yet oddly charming man walked toward the two ladies I had just been talking to, leading a delicate, fair woman dressed entirely in the softest white, as if she were vouée au blanc. I don’t think she had a hint of color on her. I thought I heard her making a soft sound of pleasure as she approached, not quite like a tea kettle singing, and not exactly like a dove cooing, but somehow reminiscent of both sounds.

"Madame de Mioumiou was anxious to see you," said he, addressing the lady with the roses, "so I have brought her across to give you a pleasure!" What an honest, good face! but oh! how ugly! And yet I liked his ugliness better than most persons' beauty. There was a look of pathetic acknowledgment of his ugliness, and a deprecation of your too hasty judgment, in his countenance that was positively winning. The soft, white lady kept glancing at my neighbour the chasseur, as if they had had some former acquaintance, which puzzled me very much, as they were of such different rank. However, their nerves were evidently strung to the same tune, for at a sound behind the tapestry, which was more like the scuttering of rats and mice than anything else, both Madame de Mioumiou and the chasseur started with the most eager look of anxiety on their countenances, and by their restless movements—madame's panting, and the fiery dilation of his eyes—one might see that commonplace sounds affected them both in a manner very different to the rest of the company. The ugly husband of the lovely lady with the roses now addressed himself to me.

"Madame de Mioumiou was eager to see you," he said, turning to the lady with the roses, "so I brought her over to make you happy!" What a genuinely kind face! But oh, how unattractive! Still, I preferred his awkwardness to most people's beauty. There was a look of sad acceptance of his looks and a plea against your quick judgment in his expression that was truly charming. The delicate, fair lady kept sneaking glances at my neighbor, the chasseur, as if they shared some past connection, which confused me since they were from such different social classes. Nevertheless, their nerves were obviously attuned to the same frequency, because at a noise behind the tapestry, which resembled the scurrying of rats rather than anything else, both Madame de Mioumiou and the chasseur reacted with genuine anxiety on their faces, and their restless movements—madame's heavy breathing and the intense widening of his eyes—showed that ordinary sounds affected them in a way that was clearly different from the rest of the group. The unattractive husband of the beautiful lady with the roses now turned to me.

"We are much disappointed," he said, "in finding that monsieur is not accompanied by his countryman—le grand Jean d'Angleterre; I cannot pronounce his name rightly"—and he looked at me to help him out.

"We're really disappointed," he said, "to find that the gentleman isn’t accompanied by his fellow countryman—le grand Jean d'Angleterre; I can't say his name correctly"—and he looked at me for help.

"Le grand Jean d'Angleterre!" now who was le grand Jean d'Angleterre? John Bull? John Russell? John Bright?

"Big John of England!" now who was big John of England? John Bull? John Russell? John Bright?

"Jean—Jean"—continued the gentleman, seeing my embarrassment. "Ah, these terrible English names—'Jean de Géanquilleur!'"

"Jean—Jean"—the man went on, noticing my embarrassment. "Ah, these awful English names—'Jean de Géanquilleur!'"

I was as wise as ever. And yet the name struck me as familiar, but slightly disguised. I repeated it to myself. It was mighty like John the Giant-killer, only his friends always call that worthy "Jack." I said the name aloud.

I was as wise as ever. And yet the name sounded familiar, but a bit altered. I said it to myself. It was a lot like John the Giant-killer, but his friends always call him "Jack." I said the name out loud.

"Ah, that is it!" said he. "But why has he not accompanied you to our little reunion to-night?"

"Ah, that's it!" he said. "But why didn't he come with you to our little get-together tonight?"

I had been rather puzzled once or twice before, but this serious question added considerably to my perplexity. Jack the Giant-killer had once, it is true, been rather an intimate friend of mine, as far as (printer's) ink and paper can keep up a friendship, but I had not heard his name mentioned for years; and for aught I knew he lay enchanted with King Arthur's knights, who lie entranced until the blast of the trumpets of four mighty kings shall call them to help at England's need. But the question had been asked in serious earnest by that gentleman, whom I more wished to think well of me than I did any other person in the room. So I answered respectfully that it was long since I had heard anything of my countryman; but that I was sure it would have given him as much pleasure as it was doing myself to have been present at such an agreeable gathering of friends. He bowed, and then the lame lady took up the word.

I had been a bit confused before, but this serious question really added to my confusion. Jack the Giant-killer had once, I admit, been a close friend of mine, at least as close as you can get through ink and paper, but I hadn't heard his name in years; for all I knew, he was under a spell with King Arthur's knights, who are enchanted until summoned by the trumpets of four mighty kings to help in England's time of need. But the question had been asked sincerely by that gentleman, whose opinion of me mattered more than anyone else's in the room. So I replied respectfully that it had been a long time since I heard anything about my fellow countryman; however, I was sure it would have made him just as happy as it made me to be at such a nice gathering of friends. He bowed, and then the disabled lady spoke up.

"To-night is the night when, of all the year, this great old forest surrounding the castle is said to be haunted by the phantom of a little peasant girl who once lived hereabouts; the tradition is that she was devoured by a wolf. In former days I have seen her on this night out of yonder window at the end of the gallery. Will you, ma belle, take monsieur to see the view outside by the moonlight (you may possibly see the phantom-child); and leave me to a little tête-à-tête with your husband?"

"Tonight is the night of the year when this ancient forest surrounding the castle is said to be haunted by the ghost of a little peasant girl who once lived nearby; the story goes that she was eaten by a wolf. In the past, I have seen her on this night from that window at the end of the gallery. Will you, my beautiful, take monsieur to see the view outside by moonlight (you might catch a glimpse of the phantom child); and leave me for a little tête-à-tête with your husband?"

With a gentle movement the lady with the roses complied with the other's request, and we went to a great window, looking down on the forest, in which I had lost my way. The tops of the far-spreading and leafy trees lay motionless beneath us in that pale, wan light, which shows objects almost as distinct in form, though not in colour, as by day. We looked down on the countless avenues, which seemed to converge from all quarters to the great old castle; and suddenly across one, quite near to us, there passed the figure of a little girl, with the "capuchon" on, that takes the place of a peasant girl's bonnet in France. She had a basket on one arm, and by her, on the side to which her head was turned, there went a wolf. I could almost have said it was licking her hand, as if in penitent love, if either penitence or love had ever been a quality of wolves,—but though not of living, perhaps it may be of phantom wolves.

With a gentle motion, the lady with the roses agreed to the other's request, and we approached a large window overlooking the forest where I had lost my way. The tops of the expansive, leafy trees lay still beneath us in that pale, dim light, which reveals shapes almost as clearly as during the day, though lacking in color. We gazed down at the numerous paths that seemed to converge from all directions toward the grand old castle; then suddenly, across one path, close to us, passed the figure of a little girl wearing a "capuchon," the traditional headpiece that replaces a peasant girl's bonnet in France. She had a basket on one arm, and next to her, on the side to which she turned her head, walked a wolf. I could almost believe it was licking her hand, as if in remorseful affection, if either remorse or affection had ever been traits of wolves—though perhaps they could be for phantom wolves.

"There, we have seen her!" exclaimed my beautiful companion. "Though so long dead, her simple story of household goodness and trustful simplicity still lingers in the hearts of all who have ever heard of her; and the country-people about here say that seeing that phantom-child on this anniversary brings good luck for the year. Let us hope that we shall share in the traditionary good fortune. Ah! here is Madame de Retz—she retains the name of her first husband, you know, as he was of higher rank than the present." We were joined by our hostess.

"There, we've seen her!" exclaimed my stunning companion. "Even though she's been gone for so long, her simple story of kindness and trusting nature still stays in the hearts of everyone who has ever heard of her; and the locals here say that spotting that ghostly child on this anniversary brings good luck for the year. Let's hope we get to share in that traditional good fortune. Ah! Here comes Madame de Retz—she still goes by her first husband's name, you know, since he was of higher status than her current one." Our hostess joined us.

"If monsieur is fond of the beauties of nature and art," said she, perceiving that I had been looking at the view from the great window, "he will perhaps take pleasure in seeing the picture." Here she sighed, with a little affectation of grief. "You know the picture I allude to," addressing my companion, who bowed assent, and smiled a little maliciously, as I followed the lead of madame.

"If you're into the beauty of nature and art," she said, noticing I had been admiring the view from the big window, "you might enjoy seeing the painting." She sighed, putting on a bit of a sad act. "You know which painting I'm talking about," she said to my companion, who nodded in agreement and smiled a bit wickedly as I followed madame's lead.

I went after her to the other end of the saloon, noting by the way with what keen curiosity she caught up what was passing either in word or action on each side of her. When we stood opposite to the end wall, I perceived a full-length picture of a handsome, peculiar-looking man, with—in spite of his good looks—a very fierce and scowling expression. My hostess clasped her hands together as her arms hung down in front, and sighed once more. Then, half in soliloquy, she said—

I followed her to the other side of the bar, noticing how intently she absorbed everything happening around her, whether through words or actions. When we reached the back wall, I saw a full-length portrait of a strikingly handsome yet unusual-looking man, who, despite his good looks, had a very fierce and scowling expression. My hostess brought her hands together as her arms hung in front of her and sighed again. Then, partly to herself, she said—

"He was the love of my youth; his stern yet manly character first touched this heart of mine. When—when shall I cease to deplore his loss!"

"He was the love of my youth; his strong yet masculine character first captured my heart. When—when will I stop mourning his loss!"

Not being acquainted with her enough to answer this question (if, indeed, it were not sufficiently answered by the fact of her second marriage), I felt awkward; and, by way of saying something, I remarked,—

Not knowing her well enough to answer this question (if, in fact, the answer wasn't already clear from her second marriage), I felt uncomfortable; so, to say something, I commented,—

"The countenance strikes me as resembling something I have seen before—in an engraving from an historical picture, I think; only, it is there the principal figure in a group: he is holding a lady by her hair, and threatening her with his scimitar, while two cavaliers are rushing up the stairs, apparently only just in time to save her life."

"The face looks familiar to me, like something I've seen before—in an engraving from a historical painting, I think; except, in that image, he’s the main figure in a group: he’s holding a woman by her hair and threatening her with his sword, while two knights are running up the stairs, seeming to arrive just in time to save her."

"Alas, alas!" said she, "you too accurately describe a miserable passage in my life, which has often been represented in a false light. The best of husbands"—here she sobbed, and became slightly inarticulate with her grief—"will sometimes be displeased. I was young and curious, he was justly angry with my disobedience—my brothers were too hasty—the consequence is, I became a widow!"

"Oh no, oh no!" she said, "you've captured a painful moment in my life perfectly, one that’s often been seen in the wrong way. The best of husbands"—here she cried and became a bit hard to understand because of her sadness—"can sometimes be upset. I was young and curious, and he had every right to be angry about my disobedience—my brothers acted too quickly—and as a result, I ended up a widow!"

After due respect for her tears, I ventured to suggest some commonplace consolation. She turned round sharply:—

After acknowledging her tears, I cautiously offered some basic comfort. She spun around sharply:—

"No, monsieur: my only comfort is that I have never forgiven the brothers who interfered so cruelly, in such an uncalled-for manner, between my dear husband and myself. To quote my friend Monsieur Sganarelle—'Ce sont petites choses qui sont de temps en temps necessaires dans l'amitié; et cinq ou six coups d'épée entre gens qui s'aiment ne font que ragaillardir l'affection.' You observe the colouring is not quite what it should be?"

"No, sir: my only comfort is that I have never forgiven the brothers who interfered so harshly, in such an unnecessary way, between my dear husband and me. To quote my friend Monsieur Sganarelle—'These little things are sometimes necessary in friendship; and five or six sword fights between people who care for each other only strengthen their bond.' Do you notice that the coloring isn’t quite what it should be?"

"In this light the beard is of rather a peculiar tint," said I.

"In this light, the beard has a rather unusual color," I said.

"Yes: the painter did not do it justice. It was most lovely, and gave him such a distinguished air, quite different from the common herd. Stay, I will show you the exact colour, if you will come near this flambeau!" And going near the light, she took off a bracelet of hair, with a magnificent clasp of pearls. It was peculiar, certainly. I did not know what to say. "His precious lovely beard!" said she. "And the pearls go so well with the delicate blue!"

"Yes, the painter didn’t capture it well. It was really beautiful and gave him such a classy vibe, completely different from the ordinary crowd. Wait, I’ll show you the exact color if you come closer to this flame!" And moving closer to the light, she took off a hair bracelet with a stunning pearl clasp. It was definitely unique. I was at a loss for words. "His precious, lovely beard!" she said. "And the pearls match so perfectly with the delicate blue!"

Her husband, who had come up to us, and waited till her eye fell upon him before venturing to speak, now said, "It is strange Monsieur Ogre is not yet arrived!"

Her husband, who had come up to us and waited until she noticed him before speaking, now said, "It's odd that Monsieur Ogre hasn't arrived yet!"

"Not at all strange," said she, tartly. "He was always very stupid, and constantly falls into mistakes, in which he comes worse off; and it is very well he does, for he is a credulous and cowardly fellow. Not at all strange! If you will"—turning to her husband, so that I hardly heard her words, until I caught—"Then everybody would have their rights, and we should have no more trouble. Is it not, monsieur?" addressing me.

"Not surprising at all," she said sharply. "He was always really foolish and keeps making mistakes that only make things worse for him; and honestly, it’s good that he does, because he’s gullible and a coward. Not surprising at all! If you will..."—she turned to her husband, and I barely caught her words until I heard—"Then everyone would get their fair share, and we wouldn't have any more issues. Isn't that right, sir?" she asked me.

"If I were in England, I should imagine madame was speaking of the reform bill, or the millennium,—but I am in ignorance."

"If I were in England, I would think that madame was talking about the reform bill or the millennium—but I'm in the dark."

And just as I spoke, the great folding-doors were thrown open wide, and every one started to their feet to greet a little old lady, leaning on a thin black wand—and—

And just as I spoke, the large folding doors were swung open wide, and everyone jumped to their feet to welcome a little old lady, leaning on a slim black cane—and—

"Madame la Féemarraine," was announced by a chorus of sweet shrill voices.

"Madame la Féemarraine," was announced by a chorus of high-pitched, sweet voices.

And in a moment I was lying in the grass close by a hollow oak-tree, with the slanting glory of the dawning day shining full in my face, and thousands of little birds and delicate insects piping and warbling out their welcome to the ruddy splendour.

And in an instant, I found myself lying in the grass next to a hollow oak tree, with the bright morning light shining directly on my face, while thousands of tiny birds and delicate insects chirped and sang their welcome to the vibrant dawn.

 


 

 

SIX WEEKS AT HEPPENHEIM.

 

After I left Oxford, I determined to spend some months in travel before settling down in life. My father had left me a few thousands, the income arising from which would be enough to provide for all the necessary requirements of a lawyer's education; such as lodgings in a quiet part of London, fees and payment to the distinguished barrister with whom I was to read; but there would be small surplus left over for luxuries or amusements; and as I was rather in debt on leaving college, since I had forestalled my income, and the expenses of my travelling would have to be defrayed out of my capital, I determined that they should not exceed fifty pounds. As long as that sum would last me I would remain abroad; when it was spent my holiday should be over, and I would return and settle down somewhere in the neighbourhood of Russell Square, in order to be near Mr. ——'s chambers in Lincoln's-inn. I had to wait in London for one day while my passport was being made out, and I went to examine the streets in which I purposed to live; I had picked them out, from studying a map, as desirable; and so they were, if judged entirely by my reason; but their aspect was very depressing to one country-bred, and just fresh from the beautiful street-architecture of Oxford. The thought of living in such a monotonous gray district for years made me all the more anxious to prolong my holiday by all the economy which could eke out my fifty pounds. I thought I could make it last for one hundred days at least. I was a good walker, and had no very luxurious tastes in the matter of accommodation or food; I had as fair a knowledge of German and French as any untravelled Englishman can have; and I resolved to avoid expensive hotels such as my own countrymen frequented.

After I left Oxford, I decided to spend a few months traveling before settling down. My father had left me a few thousand pounds, which would be enough to cover the essentials for a lawyer's education, like rent in a quiet part of London and fees for the distinguished barrister I was supposed to read with. However, there wouldn’t be much left over for luxuries or entertainment. Since I was somewhat in debt when I graduated, having spent my income early, and because my travel expenses would come from my savings, I decided to limit my spending to fifty pounds. I'd stay abroad as long as that lasted, and once it was gone, that would be the end of my holiday, and I'd return to settle near Russell Square to be close to Mr. ——'s chambers in Lincoln's Inn. I had to wait in London for a day while my passport was being prepared, so I went to check out the streets where I planned to live. I had chosen them based on a map, believing they were nice; and they were, if I judged purely by logic. But coming from the beautiful architecture of Oxford, the drabness of that area felt really depressing. The idea of living in such a dull gray neighborhood for years made me more determined to stretch my holiday by making my fifty pounds last. I figured I could stretch it to at least one hundred days. I was a good walker and didn't have very fancy tastes when it came to accommodation or food. I had a decent grasp of German and French for someone who hadn’t traveled much, and I decided to steer clear of the pricey hotels that my fellow countrymen liked.

I have stated this much about myself to explain how I fell in with the little story that I am going to record, but with which I had not much to do,—my part in it being little more than that of a sympathizing spectator. I had been through France into Switzerland, where I had gone beyond my strength in the way of walking, and I was on my way home, when one evening I came to the village of Heppenheim, on the Berg-Strasse. I had strolled about the dirty town of Worms all morning, and dined in a filthy hotel; and after that I had crossed the Rhine, and walked through Lorsch to Heppenheim. I was unnaturally tired and languid as I dragged myself up the rough-paved and irregular village street to the inn recommended to me. It was a large building, with a green court before it. A cross-looking but scrupulously clean hostess received me, and showed me into a large room with a dinner-table in it, which, though it might have accommodated thirty or forty guests, only stretched down half the length of the eating-room. There were windows at each end of the room; two looked to the front of the house, on which the evening shadows had already fallen; the opposite two were partly doors, opening into a large garden full of trained fruit-trees and beds of vegetables, amongst which rose-bushes and other flowers seemed to grow by permission, not by original intention. There was a stove at each end of the room, which, I suspect, had originally been divided into two. The door by which I had entered was exactly in the middle, and opposite to it was another, leading to a great bed-chamber, which my hostess showed me as my sleeping quarters for the night.

I’ve shared this much about myself to explain how I ended up with the little story I’m about to tell, although my role in it was mostly that of a sympathetic observer. I had traveled through France and into Switzerland, where I pushed myself too hard while walking, and I was on my way home when one evening I reached the village of Heppenheim on the Berg-Strasse. I had wandered around the dirty town of Worms all morning and had lunch in a grimy hotel; after that, I crossed the Rhine and walked through Lorsch to Heppenheim. I was unusually tired and sluggish as I dragged myself up the uneven, cobblestone village street to the inn that had been recommended to me. It was a big building with a green courtyard in front. A stern-looking but very tidy hostess welcomed me and showed me into a large room that had a dinner table in it, which, although it could have seated thirty or forty guests, only took up half the length of the dining room. There were windows at each end of the room; two faced the front of the house, where evening shadows had already fallen, and the other two were partly doors opening into a large garden filled with trained fruit trees and vegetable patches, among which rose bushes and other flowers seemed to grow more as a courtesy than by design. There was a stove at each end of the room, which I suspect was once divided into two separate spaces. The door I entered was exactly in the middle, and directly opposite it was another door leading to a large bedroom, which my hostess showed me as my sleeping area for the night.

If the place had been much less clean and inviting, I should have remained there; I was almost surprised myself at my vis inertiæ; once seated in the last warm rays of the slanting sun by the garden window, I was disinclined to move, or even to speak. My hostess had taken my orders as to my evening meal, and had left me. The sun went down, and I grew shivery. The vast room looked cold and bare; the darkness brought out shadows that perplexed me, because I could not fully make out the objects that produced them after dazzling my eyes by gazing out into the crimson light.

If the place had been much less clean and inviting, I would have stayed there; I was almost surprised at myself for being so lazy. Once I was seated in the last warm rays of the setting sun by the garden window, I didn’t want to move or even talk. My hostess had taken my order for dinner and had left me. The sun set, and I started to feel cold. The large room looked empty and chilly; the darkness highlighted shadows that confused me because I couldn’t clearly see the objects creating them after my eyes had adjusted to the bright red light outside.

Some one came in; it was the maiden to prepare for my supper. She began to lay the cloth at one end of the large table. There was a smaller one close by me. I mustered up my voice, which seemed a little as if it was getting beyond my control, and called to her,—

Somebody came in; it was the girl to get my dinner ready. She started to set the table at one end of the big table. There was a smaller one near me. I gathered my voice, which felt like it was slipping away from me, and called out to her,—

"Will you let me have my supper here on this table?"

"Can I have my dinner here on this table?"

She came near; the light fell on her while I was in shadow. She was a tall young woman, with a fine strong figure, a pleasant face, expressive of goodness and sense, and with a good deal of comeliness about it, too, although the fair complexion was bronzed and reddened by weather, so as to have lost much of its delicacy, and the features, as I had afterwards opportunity enough of observing, were anything but regular. She had white teeth, however, and well-opened blue eyes—grave-looking eyes which had shed tears for past sorrow—plenty of light-brown hair, rather elaborately plaited, and fastened up by two great silver pins. That was all—perhaps more than all—I noticed that first night. She began to lay the cloth where I had directed. A shiver passed over me: she looked at me, and then said,—

She walked closer; the light hit her while I was in the shadow. She was a tall young woman with a strong, attractive figure, a nice face that expressed kindness and intelligence, and plenty of charm, too, although her fair skin had become tanned and reddened by the weather, losing some of its delicacy. The features, as I had plenty of chances to observe later, were anything but symmetrical. She had white teeth and bright blue eyes—serious-looking eyes that had shed tears from past sadness—lots of light brown hair, stylishly braided, and pinned up with two large silver pins. That was everything—maybe more than everything—I noticed that first night. She started to set the table where I had pointed out. A chill went through me: she looked at me, and then said,—

"The gentleman is cold: shall I light the stove?"

"The man is cold: should I light the stove?"

Something vexed me—I am not usually so impatient: it was the coming-on of serious illness—I did not like to be noticed so closely; I believed that food would restore me, and I did not want to have my meal delayed, as I feared it might be by the lighting of the stove; and most of all I was feverishly annoyed by movement. I answered sharply and abruptly,—

Something bothered me — I’m not usually this impatient: it was the onset of a serious illness — I didn’t like being watched so closely; I believed that food would help me feel better, and I didn’t want my meal to be delayed, especially by lighting the stove; and more than anything, I was extremely irritated by any movement. I responded sharply and abruptly,—

"No; bring supper quickly; that is all I want."

"No; please bring dinner quickly; that's all I want."

Her quiet, sad eyes met mine for a moment; but I saw no change in their expression, as if I had vexed her by my rudeness: her countenance did not for an instant lose its look of patient sense, and that is pretty nearly all I can remember of Thekla that first evening at Heppenheim.

Her quiet, sad eyes met mine for a moment, but I saw no change in their expression, as if I had upset her with my rudeness. Her face didn’t for a second lose its look of patient understanding, and that’s pretty much all I can remember about Thekla from that first evening in Heppenheim.

I suppose I ate my supper, or tried to do so, at any rate; and I must have gone to bed, for days after I became conscious of lying there, weak as a new-born babe, and with a sense of past pain in all my weary limbs. As is the case in recovering from fever, one does not care to connect facts, much less to reason upon them; so how I came to be lying in that strange bed, in that large, half-furnished room; in what house that room was; in what town, in what country, I did not take the trouble to recal. It was of much more consequence to me then to discover what was the well-known herb that gave the scent to the clean, coarse sheets in which I lay. Gradually I extended my observations, always confining myself to the present. I must have been well cared-for by some one, and that lately, too, for the window was shaded, so as to prevent the morning sun from coming in upon the bed; there was the crackling of fresh wood in the great white china stove, which must have been newly replenished within a short time.

I guess I had my dinner, or at least I tried to; and I must have gone to bed because days later I became aware that I was lying there, weak as a newborn, with a lingering feeling of pain in all my tired limbs. Like when recovering from a fever, I didn’t feel like connecting events, let alone reasoning about them; so I didn’t bother to think about how I ended up in that unfamiliar bed, in that big, half-furnished room; in what house that room was; in what town, in what country. What mattered more to me then was figuring out what the familiar herb was that gave the scent to the clean, rough sheets I was lying on. Slowly, I started to take in my surroundings, always focusing on the present. Someone must have taken good care of me recently because the window was covered to keep the morning sun from shining on the bed; I could hear the crackling of fresh wood in the large white china stove, which must have been refilled not long ago.

By-and-by the door opened slowly. I cannot tell why, but my impulse was to shut my eyes as if I were still asleep. But I could see through my apparently closed eyelids. In came, walking on tip-toe, with a slow care that defeated its object, two men. The first was aged from thirty to forty, in the dress of a Black Forest peasant,—old-fashioned coat and knee-breeches of strong blue cloth, but of a thoroughly good quality; he was followed by an older man, whose dress, of more pretension as to cut and colour (it was all black), was, nevertheless, as I had often the opportunity of observing afterwards, worn threadbare.

Eventually, the door opened slowly. I can't explain why, but my instinct was to close my eyes as if I were still asleep. However, I could see through my seemingly shut eyelids. Two men walked in, tiptoeing with a deliberate care that was counterproductive. The first man looked to be between thirty and forty, dressed like a Black Forest peasant—an old-fashioned coat and knee-breeches made of sturdy blue cloth, but good quality. He was followed by an older man, whose outfit was more stylish in cut and color (it was all black), but as I would often notice later, it was worn out.

Their first sentences, in whispered German, told me who they were: the landlord of the inn where I was lying a helpless log, and the village doctor who had been called in. The latter felt my pulse, and nodded his head repeatedly in approbation. I had instinctively known that I was getting better, and hardly cared for this confirmation; but it seemed to give the truest pleasure to the landlord, who shook the hand of the doctor, in a pantomime expressive of as much thankfulness as if I had been his brother. Some low-spoken remarks were made, and then some question was asked, to which, apparently, my host was unable to reply. He left the room, and in a minute or two returned, followed by Thekla, who was questioned by the doctor, and replied with a quiet clearness, showing how carefully the details of my illness had been observed by her. Then she left the room, and, as if every minute had served to restore to my brain its power of combining facts, I was suddenly prompted to open my eyes, and ask in the best German I could muster what day of the month it was; not that I clearly remembered the date of my arrival at Heppenheim, but I knew it was about the beginning of September.

Their first sentences, whispered in German, revealed who they were: the innkeeper where I was lying like a helpless log, and the village doctor who had been called in. The doctor checked my pulse and nodded repeatedly in approval. I had instinctively felt that I was getting better and hardly cared for this confirmation; but it seemed to bring the landlord the greatest joy, as he shook hands with the doctor in a gesture of gratitude as if I were his brother. Some quiet comments were made, and then a question was asked, to which my host seemed unable to answer. He left the room, and after a minute or two, returned with Thekla, who was questioned by the doctor and responded with calm clarity, showing how closely she had monitored the details of my illness. After she left, it felt like each passing minute had helped restore my mind's ability to piece together facts, and I was suddenly prompted to open my eyes and ask, in the best German I could manage, what day of the month it was; not that I clearly remembered the date of my arrival in Heppenheim, but I knew it was around the beginning of September.

Again the doctor conveyed his sense of extreme satisfaction in a series of rapid pantomimic nods, and then replied in deliberate but tolerable English, to my great surprise,—

Again the doctor expressed his intense satisfaction with a series of quick nods, and then responded in careful but understandable English, much to my surprise,—

"It is the 29th of September, my dear sir. You must thank the dear God. Your fever has made its course of twenty-one days. Now patience and care must be practised. The good host and his household will have the care; you must have the patience. If you have relations in England, I will do my endeavours to tell them the state of your health."

"It’s September 29th, my good sir. You must thank God. Your fever has lasted for twenty-one days. Now it’s time for patience and care. The kind host and his family will take care of things; you just need to be patient. If you have family in England, I will do my best to inform them about your health."

"I have no near relations," said I, beginning in my weakness to cry, as I remembered, as if it had been a dream, the days when I had father, mother, sister.

"I don't have any close family," I said, starting to cry in my weakness as I recalled, as if it had all been a dream, the days when I had a father, a mother, and a sister.

"Chut, chut!" said he; then, turning to the landlord, he told him in German to make Thekla bring me one of her good bouillons; after which I was to have certain medicines, and to sleep as undisturbedly as possible. For days, he went on, I should require constant watching and careful feeding; every twenty minutes I was to have something, either wine or soup, in small quantities.

"Shh, shh!" he said; then, turning to the landlord, he told him in German to have Thekla bring me one of her good broths; after that, I was supposed to take certain medications and sleep as undisturbed as possible. For days, he continued, I would need constant monitoring and careful nourishment; every twenty minutes, I was to have something, either wine or soup, in small amounts.

A dim notion came into my hazy mind that my previous husbandry of my fifty pounds, by taking long walks and scanty diet, would prove in the end very bad economy; but I sank into dozing unconsciousness before I could quite follow out my idea. I was roused by the touch of a spoon on my lips; it was Thekla feeding me. Her sweet, grave face had something approaching to a mother's look of tenderness upon it, as she gave me spoonful after spoonful with gentle patience and dainty care: and then I fell asleep once more. When next I wakened it was night; the stove was lighted, and the burning wood made a pleasant crackle, though I could only see the outlines and edges of red flame through the crevices of the small iron door. The uncurtained window on my left looked into the purple, solemn night. Turning a little, I saw Thekla sitting near a table, sewing diligently at some great white piece of household work. Every now and then she stopped to snuff the candle; sometimes she began to ply her needle again immediately; but once or twice she let her busy hands lie idly in her lap, and looked into the darkness, and thought deeply for a moment or two; these pauses always ended in a kind of sobbing sigh, the sound of which seemed to restore her to self-consciousness, and she took to her sewing even more diligently than before. Watching her had a sort of dreamy interest for me; this diligence of hers was a pleasant contrast to my repose; it seemed to enhance the flavour of my rest. I was too much of an animal just then to have my sympathy, or even my curiosity, strongly excited by her look of sad remembrance, or by her sighs.

A vague thought crossed my mind that my past management of my fifty pounds, through long walks and a meager diet, would ultimately turn out to be a poor financial decision; but I fell back into a dozy unconsciousness before I could fully explore my idea. I was awakened by a spoon touching my lips; it was Thekla feeding me. Her sweet, serious face had a hint of a mother's tender expression as she gave me spoonful after spoonful with gentle patience and careful attention: and then I fell asleep again. When I woke up next, it was nighttime; the stove was lit, and the burning wood crackled pleasantly, though I could only make out the outlines of the red flames through the gaps in the small iron door. The uncurtained window on my left looked out into the deep, solemn night. Turning slightly, I saw Thekla sitting at a table, diligently sewing a large white piece of fabric. Every so often, she paused to snuff the candle; sometimes she resumed sewing right away; but once or twice she let her busy hands rest in her lap, gazing into the darkness and lost in thought for a moment or two; these pauses always ended with a kind of sobbing sigh, the sound of which seemed to bring her back to reality, and she became even more focused on her sewing. Watching her was oddly fascinating for me; her diligence was a nice contrast to my rest and seemed to enhance the comfort of my relaxation. I was too much in a lazy state at that moment to feel sympathy or even curiosity about her look of sad recollection or her sighs.

After a while she gave a little start, looked at a watch lying by her on the table, and came, shading the candle by her hand, softly to my bedside. When she saw my open eyes she went to a porringer placed at the top of the stove, and fed me with soup. She did not speak while doing this. I was half aware that she had done it many times since the doctor's visit, although this seemed to be the first time that I was fully awake. She passed her arm under the pillow on which my head rested, and raised me a very little; her support was as firm as a man's could have been. Again back to her work, and I to my slumbers, without a word being exchanged.

After a while, she jumped a bit, glanced at a watch on the table, and quietly came to my bedside, shielding the candle with her hand. When she saw that my eyes were open, she went to a bowl at the top of the stove and fed me some soup. She didn't say anything while she did this. I was somewhat aware that she had done this many times since the doctor's visit, even though this felt like the first time I was fully awake. She slipped her arm under the pillow my head rested on and lifted me slightly; her support was as steady as a man's could be. Then she went back to her work, and I drifted back to sleep, without a word being exchanged.

It was broad daylight when I wakened again; I could see the sunny atmosphere of the garden outside stealing in through the nicks at the side of the shawl hung up to darken the room—a shawl which I was sure had not been there when I had observed the window in the night. How gently my nurse must have moved about while doing her thoughtful act!

It was bright daylight when I woke up again; I could see the sunny garden outside seeping through the gaps in the shawl hanging up to darken the room—a shawl that I was sure hadn’t been there when I looked out the window at night. How quietly my nurse must have moved around while doing her kind gesture!

My breakfast was brought me by the hostess; she who had received me on my first arrival at this hospitable inn. She meant to do everything kindly, I am sure; but a sick room was not her place; by a thousand little mal-adroitnesses she fidgeted me past bearing; her shoes creaked, her dress rustled; she asked me questions about myself which it irritated me to answer; she congratulated me on being so much better, while I was faint for want of the food which she delayed giving me in order to talk. My host had more sense in him when he came in, although his shoes creaked as well as hers. By this time I was somewhat revived, and could talk a little; besides, it seemed churlish to be longer without acknowledging so much kindness received.

My breakfast was brought to me by the hostess, the same person who welcomed me when I first arrived at this friendly inn. She really wanted to be helpful, I’m sure, but a sickroom wasn’t the right place for her; with countless little clumsinesses, she drove me nearly to my limit. Her shoes creaked, her dress rustled; she asked me questions about myself that annoyed me to answer. She congratulated me on feeling better, while I was weak from waiting too long for the food she delayed bringing only to chat. My host had more sense when he came in, even though his shoes creaked too. By that time, I had recovered somewhat and could talk a little; besides, it felt rude to avoid acknowledging all the kindness I had received.

"I am afraid I have been a great trouble," said I. "I can only say that I am truly grateful."

"I’m sorry for being such a hassle," I said. "I can only express how thankful I really am."

His good broad face reddened, and he moved a little uneasily.

His good broad face turned red, and he shifted uncomfortably.

"I don't see how I could have done otherwise than I——than we, did," replied he, in the soft German of the district. "We were all glad enough to do what we could; I don't say it was a pleasure, because it is our busiest time of year,—but then," said he, laughing a little awkwardly, as if he feared his expression might have been misunderstood, "I don't suppose it has been a pleasure to you either, sir, to be laid up so far from home."

"I don't see how I could have done anything differently than we did," he replied in the gentle German accent of the area. "We were all more than happy to help in any way we could; I won't say it was enjoyable since it's our busiest time of year— but," he added, chuckling a bit shyly, as if worried his words might be misconstrued, "I don't imagine it’s been a pleasure for you either, sir, being stuck so far from home."

"No, indeed."

"No way."

"I may as well tell you now, sir, that we had to look over your papers and clothes. In the first place, when you were so ill I would fain have let your kinsfolk know, if I could have found a clue; and besides, you needed linen."

"I should probably tell you now, sir, that we had to take a look at your papers and clothes. First of all, when you were so sick, I really wanted to let your family know, if I could have found a clue; and also, you needed some clean linen."

"I am wearing a shirt of yours though," said I, touching my sleeve.

"I am wearing one of your shirts," I said, touching my sleeve.

"Yes, sir!" said he again, reddening a little. "I told Thekla to take the finest out of the chest; but I am afraid you find it coarser than your own."

"Yes, sir!" he said again, blushing a bit. "I told Thekla to pick the finest out of the chest; but I’m afraid you’ll find it rougher than your own."

For all answer I could only lay my weak hand on the great brown paw resting on the bed-side. He gave me a sudden squeeze in return that I thought would have crushed my bones.

For all my responses, I could only place my weak hand on the big brown paw resting on the side of the bed. He suddenly squeezed my hand in return, and I thought it might crush my bones.

"I beg your pardon, sir," said he, misinterpreting the sudden look of pain which I could not repress; "but watching a man come out of the shadow of death into life makes one feel very friendly towards him."

"I’m sorry, sir," he said, misunderstanding the sudden look of pain I couldn’t hide; "but seeing a man step out of the shadow of death and into life makes you feel really connected to him."

"No old or true friend that I have had could have done more for me than you, and your wife, and Thekla, and the good doctor."

"No old or true friend I've ever had could have done more for me than you, your wife, Thekla, and the good doctor."

"I am a widower," said he, turning round the great wedding-ring that decked his third finger. "My sister keeps house for me, and takes care of the children,—that is to say, she does it with the help of Thekla, the house-maiden. But I have other servants," he continued. "I am well to do, the good God be thanked! I have land, and cattle, and vineyards. It will soon be our vintage-time, and then you must go and see my grapes as they come into the village. I have a 'chasse', too, in the Odenwald; perhaps one day you will be strong enough to go and shoot the 'chevreuil' with me."

"I’m a widower," he said, twisting the large wedding ring on his third finger. "My sister helps run the house and takes care of the kids—she manages it with the help of Thekla, the housemaid. But I have other staff too," he added. "I’m doing well, thank God! I have land, livestock, and vineyards. It’ll be harvest time soon, and you should come see my grapes when they come into the village. I also have a 'chasse' in the Odenwald; maybe one day you’ll be strong enough to go hunting for 'chevreuil' with me."

His good, true heart was trying to make me feel like a welcome guest. Some time afterwards I learnt from the doctor that—my poor fifty pounds being nearly all expended—my host and he had been brought to believe in my poverty, as the necessary examination of my clothes and papers showed so little evidence of wealth. But I myself have but little to do with my story; I only name these things, and repeat these conversations, to show what a true, kind, honest man my host was. By the way, I may as well call him by his name henceforward, Fritz Müller. The doctor's name, Wiedermann.

His good, genuine heart was trying to make me feel like a welcome guest. Later on, I found out from the doctor that—since I had almost used up my poor fifty pounds—my host and he had come to believe in my poverty, as the required examination of my clothes and documents revealed so little sign of wealth. But I really have little to do with my story; I just mention these things and repeat these conversations to show what a true, kind, honest man my host was. By the way, I might as well call him by his name from now on, Fritz Müller. The doctor's name is Wiedermann.

I was tired enough with this interview with Fritz Müller; but when Dr. Wiedermann came he pronounced me to be much better; and through the day much the same course was pursued as on the previous one: being fed, lying still, and sleeping, were my passive and active occupations. It was a hot, sunshiny day, and I craved for air. Fresh air does not enter into the pharmacopœia of a German doctor; but somehow I obtained my wish. During the morning hours the window through which the sun streamed—the window looking on to the front court—was opened a little; and through it I heard the sounds of active life, which gave me pleasure and interest enough. The hen's cackle, the cock's exultant call when he had found the treasure of a grain of corn,—the movements of a tethered donkey, and the cooing and whirring of the pigeons which lighted on the window-sill, gave me just subjects enough for interest. Now and then a cart or carriage drove up,—I could hear them ascending the rough village street long before they stopped at the "Halbmond," the village inn. Then there came a sound of running and haste in the house; and Thekla was always called for in sharp, imperative tones. I heard little children's footsteps, too, from time to time; and once there must have been some childish accident or hurt, for a shrill, plaintive little voice kept calling out, "Thekla, Thekla, liebe Thekla." Yet, after the first early morning hours, when my hostess attended on my wants, it was always Thekla who came to give me my food or my medicine; who redded up my room; who arranged the degree of light, shifting the temporary curtain with the shifting sun; and always as quietly and deliberately as though her attendance upon me were her sole work. Once or twice my hostess came into the large eating-room (out of which my room opened), and called Thekla away from whatever was her occupation in my room at the time, in a sharp, injured, imperative whisper. Once I remember it was to say that sheets were wanted for some stranger's bed, and to ask where she, the speaker, could have put the keys, in a tone of irritation, as though Thekla were responsible for Fräulein Müller's own forgetfulness.

I was pretty tired from this interview with Fritz Müller; but when Dr. Wiedermann arrived, he said I was doing much better. Throughout the day, the same routine continued as the day before: being fed, lying still, and sleeping were my main activities. It was a hot, sunny day, and I craved fresh air. Fresh air isn’t part of a German doctor’s treatment plan, but somehow I got what I wanted. During the morning hours, the window that let in the sunlight—the one facing the front court—was opened a little; through it, I heard the lively sounds of life outside, which brought me some joy and interest. The hen was clucking, the rooster was proudly calling out after finding a grain of corn, the tethered donkey was moving around, and the cooing and fluttering of pigeons landing on the windowsill gave me just enough to occupy my mind. Now and then, I could hear a cart or carriage coming up—I could distinguish them on the rough village street long before they stopped at the "Halbmond," the village inn. Then I would hear footsteps running around the house, and Thekla was always called for in sharp, urgent tones. I also heard little kids' footsteps from time to time; once, there must have been some child’s accident or injury because a high-pitched, whiny voice kept calling out, "Thekla, Thekla, dear Thekla." Yet, after the early morning hours when my hostess tended to my needs, it was always Thekla who brought me my food or medicine, tidied my room, adjusted the light by shifting the makeshift curtain as the sun moved, and did so all quietly and methodically, as if attending to me was her only job. Once or twice, my hostess came into the large dining room (which opened into my room) and called Thekla away from whatever she was doing in my room at that moment with a sharp, annoyed whisper. I remember once she came to say that sheets were needed for some guest’s bed and to ask where she could have possibly put the keys, sounding irritated, as if Thekla were responsible for Fräulein Müller's forgetfulness.

Night came on; the sounds of daily life died away into silence; the children's voices were no more heard; the poultry were all gone to roost; the beasts of burden to their stables; and travellers were housed. Then Thekla came in softly and quietly, and took up her appointed place, after she had done all in her power for my comfort. I felt that I was in no state to be left all those weary hours which intervened between sunset and sunrise; but I did feel ashamed that this young woman, who had watched by me all the previous night, and for aught I knew, for many before, and had worked hard, been run off her legs, as English servants would say, all day long, should come and take up her care of me again; and it was with a feeling of relief that I saw her head bend forwards, and finally rest on her arms, which had fallen on the white piece of sewing spread before her on the table. She slept; and I slept. When I wakened dawn was stealing into the room, and making pale the lamplight. Thekla was standing by the stove, where she had been preparing the bouillon I should require on wakening. But she did not notice my half-open eyes, although her face was turned towards the bed. She was reading a letter slowly, as if its words were familiar to her, yet as though she were trying afresh to extract some fuller or some different meaning from their construction. She folded it up softly and slowly, and replaced it in her pocket with the quiet movement habitual to her. Then she looked before her, not at me, but at vacancy filled up by memories; and as the enchanter brought up the scenes and people which she saw, but I could not, her eyes filled with tears—tears that gathered almost imperceptibly to herself as it would seem—for when one large drop fell on her hands (held slightly together before her as she stood) she started a little, and brushed her eyes with the back of her hand, and then came towards the bed to see if I was awake. If I had not witnessed her previous emotion, I could never have guessed that she had any hidden sorrow or pain from her manner; tranquil, self-restrained as usual. The thought of this letter haunted me, especially as more than once I, wakeful or watchful during the ensuing nights, either saw it in her hands, or suspected that she had been recurring to it from noticing the same sorrowful, dreamy look upon her face when she thought herself unobserved. Most likely every one has noticed how inconsistently out of proportion some ideas become when one is shut up in any place without change of scene or thought. I really grew quite irritated about this letter. If I did not see it, I suspected it lay perdu in her pocket. What was in it? Of course it was a love-letter; but if so, what was going wrong in the course of her love? I became like a spoilt child in my recovery; every one whom I saw for the time being was thinking only of me, so it was perhaps no wonder that I became my sole object of thought; and at last the gratification of my curiosity about this letter seemed to me a duty that I owed to myself. As long as my fidgety inquisitiveness remained ungratified, I felt as if I could not get well. But to do myself justice, it was more than inquisitiveness. Thekla had tended me with the gentle, thoughtful care of a sister, in the midst of her busy life. I could often hear the Fräulein's sharp voice outside blaming her for something that had gone wrong; but I never heard much from Thekla in reply. Her name was called in various tones by different people, more frequently than I could count, as if her services were in perpetual requisition, yet I was never neglected, or even long uncared-for. The doctor was kind and attentive; my host friendly and really generous; his sister subdued her acerbity of manner when in my room, but Thekla was the one of all to whom I owed my comforts, if not my life. If I could do anything to smooth her path (and a little money goes a great way in these primitive parts of Germany), how willingly would I give it? So one night I began—she was no longer needed to watch by my bedside, but she was arranging my room before leaving me for the night—

Night fell; the sounds of daily life faded into silence; the children's voices were no longer heard; the poultry had all gone to roost; the work animals were back in their stables; and travelers were settled in for the night. Then Thekla came in softly and quietly, taking her assigned spot after doing everything she could to make me comfortable. I felt unfit to be left alone during the long hours between sunset and sunrise, but I was also ashamed that this young woman, who had stayed up with me all night and possibly many nights before, and who had worked hard all day long, should come back to care for me again. I felt relieved when I saw her head bend forward and finally rest on her arms, which were resting on the white piece of sewing laid out on the table. She slept; and I slept. When I woke, dawn was creeping into the room, softening the lamplight. Thekla was standing by the stove, preparing the bouillon I would need when I woke up. But she didn’t notice my half-open eyes, even though her face was turned toward the bed. She was reading a letter slowly, as if its words were familiar yet trying to find some deeper or different meaning in them. She folded it up quietly and slowly and tucked it back into her pocket with the calm movement she was used to. Then she stared blankly ahead, not at me, but into the emptiness filled with memories; as she recalled scenes and people that I couldn’t see, her eyes filled with tears—tears that gathered almost unnoticed—until one large drop fell onto her hands, held slightly together in front of her as she stood. She startled a little, brushed her eyes with the back of her hand, and then approached the bed to check if I was awake. If I hadn’t seen her previous emotion, I would never have guessed she had any hidden sadness or pain; she was calm and composed as usual. The thought of this letter lingered in my mind, especially since more than once, while awake or alert during the following nights, I either saw it in her hands or noticed the same sorrowful, dreamy expression on her face when she thought she was unobserved. It's likely everyone has noticed how some ideas can become wildly disproportionate when stuck in one place without a change of scenery or thought. I grew quite irritated about this letter. If I didn’t see it, I suspected it was hidden in her pocket. What could it contain? Of course, it must have been a love letter; but if so, what was going wrong in her love life? I became like a spoiled child during my recovery; everyone I saw seemed to focus solely on me, so it's no wonder I became my own primary concern; in the end, satisfying my curiosity about this letter felt like a duty to myself. As long as my restless inquisitiveness went unanswered, I felt like I couldn’t get well. But to be fair, it was more than just curiosity. Thekla had cared for me with the gentle, thoughtful attention of a sister amidst her busy life. I often heard the Fräulein’s sharp voice outside scolding her for something that had gone awry; but I rarely heard much from Thekla in response. Her name was called in various tones by different people, more times than I could count, as if her help was always needed, yet I was never neglected or left uncared for for long. The doctor was kind and attentive; my host was friendly and truly generous; his sister tempered her harshness when she was in my room; but Thekla was the one I owed my comforts, if not my life. If I could do anything to ease her path (and a little money goes a long way in these simple parts of Germany), how gladly I would give it! So one night I began—she was no longer needed to watch by my bedside, but she was tidying my room before leaving me for the night—

"Thekla," said I, "you don't belong to Heppenheim, do you?"

"Thekla," I said, "you're not from Heppenheim, are you?"

She looked at me, and reddened a little.

She looked at me and blushed a bit.

"No. Why do you ask?"

"No. Why do you want to know?"

"You have been so good to me that I cannot help wanting to know more about you. I must needs feel interested in one who has been by my side through my illness as you have. Where do your friends live? Are your parents alive?"

"You've been so good to me that I can't help wanting to know more about you. I have to feel interested in someone who's been by my side through my illness like you have. Where do your friends live? Are your parents alive?"

All this time I was driving at the letter.

All this time I was getting to the point.

"I was born at Altenahr. My father is an innkeeper there. He owns the 'Golden Stag.' My mother is dead, and he has married again, and has many children."

"I was born in Altenahr. My dad runs an inn there. He owns the 'Golden Stag.' My mom has passed away, and he has remarried and has several kids."

"And your stepmother is unkind to you," said I, jumping to a conclusion.

"And your stepmom is mean to you," I said, jumping to a conclusion.

"Who said so?" asked she, with a shade of indignation in her tone. "She is a right good woman, and makes my father a good wife."

"Who said that?" she asked, a hint of indignation in her voice. "She is a very good woman and makes my father a great wife."

"Then why are you here living so far from home?"

"Then why are you living so far from home?"

Now the look came back to her face which I had seen upon it during the night hours when I had watched her by stealth; a dimming of the grave frankness of her eyes, a light quiver at the corners of her mouth. But all she said was, "It was better."

Now the expression returned to her face that I had noticed during the night when I had quietly watched her; a fading of the serious honesty in her eyes, a slight tremor at the corners of her mouth. But all she said was, "It was better."

Somehow, I persisted with the wilfulness of an invalid. I am half ashamed of it now.

Somehow, I kept going with the stubbornness of someone who is sick. I'm a bit embarrassed about it now.

"But why better, Thekla? Was there——" How should I put it? I stopped a little, and then rushed blindfold at my object: "Has not that letter which you read so often something to do with your being here?"

"But why better, Thekla? Was therePlease provide the text that you would like me to modernize." How should I say this? I paused for a moment, then dove right in: "Doesn't that letter you read so often have something to do with why you're here?"

She fixed me with her serious eyes till I believe I reddened far more than she; and I hastened to pour out, incoherently enough, my conviction that she had some secret care, and my desire to help her if she was in any trouble.

She stared at me with her serious eyes until I was sure I blushed more than she did; and I quickly started to express, a bit incoherently, that I believed she had some secret worry, and that I wanted to help her if she was going through any trouble.

"You cannot help me," said she, a little softened by my explanation, though some shade of resentment at having been thus surreptitiously watched yet lingered in her manner. "It is an old story; a sorrow gone by, past, at least it ought to be, only sometimes I am foolish"—her tones were softening now—"and it is punishment enough that you have seen my folly."

"You can't help me," she said, a bit softened by my explanation, though a hint of resentment about being watched in secret still lingered in her tone. "It's an old story; a sorrow that's behind me, or at least it should be, but sometimes I act foolishly"—her tone was softening now—"and it's punishment enough that you've seen my foolishness."

"If you had a brother here, Thekla, you would let him give you his sympathy if he could not give you his help, and you would not blame yourself if you had shown him your sorrow, should you? I tell you again, let me be as a brother to you."

"If you had a brother here, Thekla, you would let him sympathize with you even if he couldn’t help, and you wouldn’t feel guilty for showing him your sadness, right? I’m telling you again, let me be like a brother to you."

"In the first place, sir"—this "sir" was to mark the distinction between me and the imaginary brother—"I should have been ashamed to have shown even a brother my sorrow, which is also my reproach and my disgrace." These were strong words; and I suppose my face showed that I attributed to them a still stronger meaning than they warranted; but honi soit qui mal y pense—for she went on dropping her eyes and speaking hurriedly.

"In the first place, sir"—this "sir" was to highlight the difference between me and my imaginary brother—"I would have been ashamed to show even a brother my sorrow, which is also my blame and my shame." Those were intense words; and I guess my expression made it clear that I gave them an even stronger meaning than they deserved; but honi soit qui mal y pense—as she continued to look down and speak quickly.

"My shame and my reproach is this: I have loved a man who has not loved me"—she grasped her hands together till the fingers made deep white dents in the rosy flesh—"and I can't make out whether he ever did, or whether he did once and is changed now; if only he did once love me, I could forgive myself."

"My shame and my regret is this: I loved a guy who never loved me back."—she clenched her hands together until her fingers made deep white marks in her rosy skin—"and I can't figure out if he ever did, or if he did at one point and has changed now; if only he did love me once, I could forgive myself."

With hasty, trembling hands she began to rearrange the tisane and medicines for the night on the little table at my bed-side. But, having got thus far, I was determined to persevere.

With shaky, nervous hands she started to reorganize the herbal tea and medications for the night on the small table by my bed. But having come this far, I was resolved to keep going.

"Thekla," said I, "tell me all about it, as you would to your mother, if she were alive. There are often misunderstandings which, never set to rights, make the misery and desolation of a life-time."

"Thekla," I said, "tell me everything, just like you would to your mother if she were still alive. There are often misunderstandings that, if left unresolved, lead to a lifetime of misery and emptiness."

She did not speak at first. Then she pulled out the letter, and said, in a quiet, hopeless tone of voice:—

She didn't say anything at first. Then she took out the letter and said, in a soft, defeated tone:—

"You can read German writing? Read that, and see if I have any reason for misunderstanding."

"You can read German? Read that and see if I have any reason to misunderstand."

The letter was signed "Franz Weber," and dated from some small town in Switzerland—I forget what—about a month previous to the time when I read it. It began with acknowledging the receipt of some money which had evidently been requested by the writer, and for which the thanks were almost fulsome; and then, by the quietest transition in the world, he went on to consult her as to the desirability of his marrying some girl in the place from which he wrote, saying that this Anna Somebody was only eighteen and very pretty, and her father a well-to-do shopkeeper, and adding, with coarse coxcombry, his belief that he was not indifferent to the maiden herself. He wound up by saying that, if this marriage did take place, he should certainly repay the various sums of money which Thekla had lent him at different times.

The letter was signed "Franz Weber," and dated from some small town in Switzerland—I can’t remember which—about a month before I read it. It started by acknowledging the receipt of some money that the writer had clearly requested, and the thanks were almost over the top; then, with the smoothest transition, he went on to ask her about the benefits of marrying a girl from his town, mentioning that this Anna Somebody was only eighteen, very pretty, and her father was a successful shopkeeper. He added, with some crude arrogance, that he believed he had caught the girl’s eye as well. He finished by stating that if this marriage happened, he would definitely repay the various amounts of money that Thekla had lent him over time.

I was some time in making out all this. Thekla held the candle for me to read it; held it patiently and steadily, not speaking a word till I had folded up the letter again, and given it back to her. Then our eyes met.

I took a while to understand all of this. Thekla held the candle for me to read it; she held it patiently and steadily, not saying a word until I had folded the letter back up and returned it to her. Then our eyes met.

"There is no misunderstanding possible, is there, sir?" asked she, with a faint smile.

"There’s no way to misunderstand this, right, sir?" she asked, with a faint smile.

"No," I replied; "but you are well rid of such a fellow."

"No," I answered; "but you're better off without that guy."

She shook her head a little. "It shows his bad side, sir. We have all our bad sides. You must not judge him harshly; at least, I cannot. But then we were brought up together."

She shook her head slightly. "It reveals his flaws, sir. We all have our flaws. You shouldn't judge him too harshly; at least, I can't. But then, we grew up together."

"At Altenahr?"

"At Altenahr?"

"Yes; his father kept the other inn, and our parents, instead of being rivals, were great friends. Franz is a little younger than I, and was a delicate child. I had to take him to school, and I used to be so proud of it and of my charge. Then he grew strong, and was the handsomest lad in the village. Our fathers used to sit and smoke together, and talk of our marriage, and Franz must have heard as much as I. Whenever he was in trouble, he would come to me for what advice I could give him; and he danced twice as often with me as with any other girl at all the dances, and always brought his nosegay to me. Then his father wished him to travel, and learn the ways at the great hotels on the Rhine before he settled down in Altenahr. You know that is the custom in Germany, sir. They go from town to town as journeymen, learning something fresh everywhere, they say."

"Yeah; his dad ran the other inn, and our parents, instead of competing, were really close friends. Franz is a little younger than me and was a sickly kid. I had to take him to school, and I was so proud of it and of looking after him. Then he got strong and became the most handsome guy in the village. Our dads used to sit together, smoke, and talk about our future marriage, and Franz must have overheard a lot of it. Whenever he was in a tough spot, he’d come to me for whatever advice I could offer; and he danced with me way more than with any other girl at all the dances, always bringing me his posy. Then his dad wanted him to travel and learn how things worked at the big hotels along the Rhine before settling down in Altenahr. You know that's how they do it in Germany, sir. They travel from town to town as apprentices, picking up new skills everywhere, they say."

"I knew that was done in trades," I replied.

"I knew that was done in trades," I said.

"Oh, yes; and among inn-keepers, too," she said. "Most of the waiters at the great hotels in Frankfort, and Heidelberg, and Mayence, and, I daresay, at all the other places, are the sons of innkeepers in small towns, who go out into the world to learn new ways, and perhaps to pick up a little English and French; otherwise, they say, they should never get on. Franz went off from Altenahr on his journeyings four years ago next May-day; and before he went, he brought me back a ring from Bonn, where he bought his new clothes. I don't wear it now; but I have got it upstairs, and it comforts me to see something that shows me it was not all my silly fancy. I suppose he fell among bad people, for he soon began to play for money,—and then he lost more than he could always pay—and sometimes I could help him a little, for we wrote to each other from time to time, as we knew each other's addresses; for the little ones grew around my father's hearth, and I thought that I, too, would go forth into the world and earn my own living, so that——well, I will tell the truth—I thought that by going into service, I could lay by enough for buying a handsome stock of household linen, and plenty of pans and kettles against—against what will never come to pass now."

"Oh, definitely; and among innkeepers, too," she said. "Most of the waiters at the big hotels in Frankfurt, Heidelberg, Mainz, and probably everywhere else, are the sons of small-town innkeepers who go out into the world to learn new skills and maybe pick up a bit of English and French; otherwise, they say they wouldn’t get far. Franz left Altenahr on his travels four years ago this coming May Day, and before he went, he brought me back a ring from Bonn, where he bought his new clothes. I don’t wear it now, but I have it upstairs, and it comforts me to see something that proves it wasn’t just my silly imagination. I suppose he got involved with the wrong crowd since he soon started gambling—and then he lost more than he could afford—and sometimes I could help him a little because we wrote to each other from time to time, knowing each other’s addresses; the little ones grew up around my father’s hearth, and I thought I would also go out into the world and support myself, so that—well, I’ll be honest—I thought that by taking a job, I could save up enough to buy nice household linens and plenty of pots and pans for—well, for something that now seems impossible."

"Do the German women buy the pots and kettles, as you call them, when they are married?" asked I, awkwardly, laying hold of a trivial question to conceal the indignant sympathy with her wrongs which I did not like to express.

"Do German women buy the pots and kettles, as you call them, when they're married?" I asked awkwardly, grabbing onto a silly question to hide my furious sympathy for her injustices that I didn’t want to express.

"Oh, yes; the bride furnishes all that is wanted in the kitchen, and all the store of house-linen. If my mother had lived, it would have been laid by for me, as she could have afforded to buy it, but my stepmother will have hard enough work to provide for her own four little girls. However," she continued, brightening up, "I can help her, for now I shall never marry; and my master here is just and liberal, and pays me sixty florins a year, which is high wages." (Sixty florins are about five pounds sterling.) "And now, good-night, sir. This cup to the left holds the tisane, that to the right the acorn-tea." She shaded the candle, and was leaving the room. I raised myself on my elbow, and called her back.

"Oh, yes; the bride provides everything needed for the kitchen and all the household linens. If my mom had lived, she would have saved some for me, as she could have afforded to buy it, but my stepmom will have a tough time taking care of her own four little girls. However," she said, lighting up, "I can help her, because now I’ll never marry; and my boss here is fair and generous, paying me sixty florins a year, which is pretty good money." (Sixty florins is about five pounds sterling.) "And now, goodnight, sir. This cup on the left has the herbal tea, and that one on the right has the acorn tea." She shielded the candle and was about to leave the room. I propped myself up on my elbow and called her back.

"Don't go on thinking about this man," said I. "He was not good enough for you. You are much better unmarried."

"Stop thinking about this guy," I said. "He wasn't good enough for you. You're way better off single."

"Perhaps so," she answered gravely. "But you cannot do him justice; you do not know him."

"Maybe that's true," she replied seriously. "But you can't really understand him; you don't know him."

A few minutes after, I heard her soft and cautious return; she had taken her shoes off, and came in her stockinged feet up to my bedside, shading the light with her hand. When she saw that my eyes were open, she laid down two letters on the table, close by my night-lamp.

A few minutes later, I heard her quietly come back; she had taken off her shoes and walked over to my bedside in her socks, covering the light with her hand. When she noticed that my eyes were open, she placed two letters on the table next to my night lamp.

"Perhaps, some time, sir, you would take the trouble to read these letters; you would then see how noble and clever Franz really is. It is I who ought to be blamed, not he."

"Maybe, at some point, sir, you would take the time to read these letters; you would see how noble and smart Franz really is. I should be the one to be blamed, not him."

No more was said that night.

No more was said that night.

Some time the next morning I read the letters. They were filled with vague, inflated, sentimental descriptions of his inner life and feelings; entirely egotistical, and intermixed with quotations from second-rate philosophers and poets. There was, it must be said, nothing in them offensive to good principle or good feeling, however much they might be opposed to good taste. I was to go into the next room that afternoon for the first time of leaving my sick chamber. All morning I lay and ruminated. From time to time I thought of Thekla and Franz Weber. She was the strong, good, helpful character, he the weak and vain; how strange it seemed that she should have cared for one so dissimilar; and then I remembered the various happy marriages when to an outsider it seemed as if one was so inferior to the other that their union would have appeared a subject for despair if it had been looked at prospectively. My host came in, in the midst of these meditations, bringing a great flowered dressing-gown, lined with flannel, and the embroidered smoking-cap which he evidently considered as belonging to this Indian-looking robe. They had been his father's, he told me; and as he helped me to dress, he went on with his communications on small family matters. His inn was flourishing; the numbers increased every year of those who came to see the church at Heppenheim: the church which was the pride of the place, but which I had never yet seen. It was built by the great Kaiser Karl. And there was the Castle of Starkenburg, too, which the Abbots of Lorsch had often defended, stalwart churchmen as they were, against the temporal power of the emperors. And Melibocus was not beyond a walk either. In fact, it was the work of one person to superintend the inn alone; but he had his farm and his vineyards beyond, which of themselves gave him enough to do. And his sister was oppressed with the perpetual calls made upon her patience and her nerves in an inn; and would rather go back and live at Worms. And his children wanted so much looking after. By the time he had placed himself in a condition for requiring my full sympathy, I had finished my slow toilette; and I had to interrupt his confidences, and accept the help of his good strong arm to lead me into the great eating-room, out of which my chamber opened. I had a dreamy recollection of the vast apartment. But how pleasantly it was changed! There was the bare half of the room, it is true, looking as it had done on that first afternoon, sunless and cheerless, with the long, unoccupied table, and the necessary chairs for the possible visitors; but round the windows that opened on the garden a part of the room was enclosed by the household clothes'-horses hung with great pieces of the blue homespun cloth of which the dress of the Black Forest peasant is made. This shut-in space was warmed by the lighted stove, as well as by the lowering rays of the October sun. There was a little round walnut table with some flowers upon it, and a great cushioned armchair placed so as to look out upon the garden and the hills beyond. I felt sure that this was all Thekla's arrangement; I had rather wondered that I had seen so little of her this day. She had come once or twice on necessary errands into my room in the morning, but had appeared to be in great haste, and had avoided meeting my eye. Even when I had returned the letters, which she had entrusted to me with so evident a purpose of placing the writer in my good opinion, she had never inquired as to how far they had answered her design; she had merely taken them with some low word of thanks, and put them hurriedly into her pocket. I suppose she shrank from remembering how fully she had given me her confidence the night before, now that daylight and actual life pressed close around her. Besides, there surely never was anyone in such constant request as Thekla. I did not like this estrangement, though it was the natural consequence of my improved health, which would daily make me less and less require services which seemed so urgently claimed by others. And, moreover, after my host left me—I fear I had cut him a little short in the recapitulation of his domestic difficulties, but he was too thorough and good-hearted a man to bear malice—I wanted to be amused or interested. So I rang my little hand-bell, hoping that Thekla would answer it, when I could have fallen into conversation with her, without specifying any decided want. Instead of Thekla the Fräulein came, and I had to invent a wish; for I could not act as a baby, and say that I wanted my nurse. However, the Fräulein was better than no one, so I asked her if I could have some grapes, which had been provided for me on every day but this, and which were especially grateful to my feverish palate. She was a good, kind woman, although, perhaps, her temper was not the best in the world; and she expressed the sincerest regret as she told me that there were no more in the house. Like an invalid I fretted at my wish not being granted, and spoke out.

Some time the next morning, I read the letters. They were filled with vague, exaggerated, sentimental descriptions of his inner life and feelings; completely self-centered, and mixed with quotes from second-rate philosophers and poets. I must say, there was nothing in them that was offensive to good principles or feelings, even if they were lacking in good taste. I was supposed to go into the next room that afternoon for the first time since leaving my sick room. All morning, I lay there, deep in thought. From time to time, I thought about Thekla and Franz Weber. She was the strong, kind, helpful character, while he was weak and vain; it seemed strange that she would care for someone so different. Then I recalled various happy marriages where, to an outsider, it seemed one partner was so inferior to the other that their union would have appeared hopeless if viewed from a distance. My host came in, interrupting my thoughts, bringing a large, flowery dressing gown lined with flannel and an embroidered smoking cap that he clearly thought matched this Indian-looking robe. He told me they had belonged to his father; as he helped me get dressed, he continued sharing small family updates. His inn was thriving; every year, more people came to see the church in Heppenheim, which was the pride of the area, although I had never seen it. It was built by the great Kaiser Karl. There was also the Castle of Starkenburg, which the Abbots of Lorsch had often defended, stalwart churchmen as they were, against the emperors' temporal power. And Melibocus was an easy walk, too. In fact, it took one person to manage the inn alone, but he had his farm and vineyards beyond, which kept him busy enough. His sister was overwhelmed with the constant demands on her patience and nerves at the inn and would rather go back to live in Worms. His children needed a lot of attention, too. By the time he got around to requiring my full sympathy, I had finished getting ready; I had to interrupt his sharing and accept his strong arm to help me into the large dining room, where my room opened. I had a hazy memory of the vast space, but how pleasantly it had changed! True, the bare half of the room still looked as it had on that first afternoon—sunless and dreary, with the long, empty table and the necessary chairs for possible visitors—but around the windows that opened onto the garden, part of the room was enclosed with household clothes horses hung with large pieces of the blue homespun cloth that Black Forest peasants wear. This cozy space was warmed by the lit stove and the lowering rays of the October sun. There was a small round walnut table with some flowers on it and a big cushioned armchair positioned to overlook the garden and the hills beyond. I was sure this was all Thekla's doing; I had wondered why I hadn't seen much of her that day. She had come a couple of times on necessary errands to my room that morning but seemed in a hurry and avoided making eye contact. Even when I returned the letters she had entrusted to me, clearly aimed at garnering my good opinion of the writer, she never asked how well they achieved her goal; she merely took them with a quiet thank you and quickly tucked them into her pocket. I assumed she shied away from remembering how much she had confided in me the night before now that daylight and reality were closing in around her. Besides, there surely was never anyone in such constant demand as Thekla. I didn’t like this distance between us, even though it was the natural result of my improving health, which would increasingly lessen my need for the services that seemed so urgently requested by others. Moreover, once my host left—I feared I had cut him off a bit short in recounting his family troubles, but he was too genuine and kind-hearted to hold a grudge—I wanted something to engage my mind. So, I rang my small bell, hoping that Thekla would answer it, so I could strike up a conversation without pinpointing a specific need. Instead of Thekla, the Fräulein came in, and I had to come up with a request since I couldn't act like a child and say I wanted my nurse. However, the Fräulein was better than no one, so I asked if I could have some grapes, which had been provided for me every day but this one, and which my feverish palate particularly craved. She was a kind, good woman, though perhaps not the most easygoing, and she expressed sincere regret as she told me that there were no more in the house. Like a sick person, I complained about my wish not being fulfilled and spoke up.

"But Thekla told me the vintage was not till the fourteenth; and you have a vineyard close beyond the garden on the slope of the hill out there, have you not?"

"But Thekla told me the harvest isn't until the fourteenth; and you have a vineyard just beyond the garden on the slope of that hill, right?"

"Yes; and grapes for the gathering. But perhaps the gentleman does not know our laws. Until the vintage—(the day of beginning the vintage is fixed by the Grand Duke, and advertised in the public papers)—until the vintage, all owners of vineyards may only go on two appointed days in every week to gather their grapes; on those two days (Tuesdays and Fridays this year) they must gather enough for the wants of their families; and if they do not reckon rightly, and gather short measure, why they have to go without. And these two last days the Half-Moon has been besieged with visitors, all of whom have asked for grapes. But to-morrow the gentleman can have as many as he will; it is the day for gathering them."

"Yes, and grapes for picking. But maybe the gentleman isn’t aware of our laws. Until the harvest—(the start date for the harvest is set by the Grand Duke and announced in the public papers)—until the harvest, all vineyard owners can only go out on two designated days each week to pick their grapes; on those two days (Tuesdays and Fridays this year), they must gather enough for their families’ needs; and if they miscalculate and pick too little, they have to make do without. Over the last two days, the Half-Moon has been crowded with visitors, all asking for grapes. But tomorrow, the gentleman can have as many as he wants; it’s the day for picking them."

"What a strange kind of paternal law," I grumbled out. "Why is it so ordained? Is it to secure the owners against pilfering from their unfenced vineyards?"

"What a strange kind of fatherly law," I grumbled. "Why is it set up this way? Is it to protect the owners from theft in their unfenced vineyards?"

"I am sure I cannot tell," she replied. "Country people in these villages have strange customs in many ways, as I daresay the English gentleman has perceived. If he would come to Worms he would see a different kind of life."

"I honestly can’t say," she replied. "People in these villages have some pretty strange customs, as I'm sure the English gentleman has noticed. If he came to Worms, he would see a different way of living."

"But not a view like this," I replied, caught by a sudden change of light—some cloud passing away from the sun, or something. Right outside of the windows was, as I have so often said, the garden. Trained plum-trees with golden leaves, great bushes of purple, Michaelmas daisy, late flowering roses, apple-trees partly stripped of their rosy fruit, but still with enough left on their boughs to require the props set to support the luxuriant burden; to the left an arbour covered over with honeysuckle and other sweet-smelling creepers—all bounded by a low gray stone wall which opened out upon the steep vineyard, that stretched up the hill beyond, one hill of a series rising higher and higher into the purple distance. "Why is there a rope with a bunch of straw tied in it stretched across the opening of the garden into the vineyard?" I inquired, as my eye suddenly caught upon the object.

"But not a view like this," I replied, struck by a sudden change in light—maybe a cloud passing away from the sun or something similar. Right outside the windows was, as I've often mentioned, the garden. Trellised plum trees with golden leaves, large bushes of purple Michaelmas daisies, late-blooming roses, and apple trees partially stripped of their rosy fruit, but still holding enough on their branches to require props for the heavy load; to the left was an arbor covered with honeysuckle and other fragrant vines—all surrounded by a low gray stone wall that opened up to the steep vineyard, which climbed up the hill beyond, part of a series of hills rising higher and higher into the purple distance. "Why is there a rope with a bunch of straw tied to it stretched across the entrance of the garden into the vineyard?" I asked, as my eye was suddenly drawn to the object.

"It is the country way of showing that no one must pass along that path. To-morrow the gentleman will see it removed; and then he shall have the grapes. Now I will go and prepare his coffee." With a curtsey, after the fashion of Worms gentility, she withdrew. But an under-servant brought me my coffee; and with her I could not exchange a word: she spoke in such an execrable patois. I went to bed early, weary, and depressed. I must have fallen asleep immediately, for I never heard any one come to arrange my bed-side table; yet in the morning I found that every usual want or wish of mine had been attended to.

"It’s the countryside way of saying that no one is allowed to use that path. Tomorrow, the gentleman will have it cleared, and then he can have the grapes. Now I’ll go prepare his coffee." With a curtsy, following the local etiquette, she left. But a lower servant brought me my coffee, and I couldn’t say a word to her since she spoke such a terrible dialect. I went to bed early, feeling tired and down. I must have fallen asleep right away, because I didn’t hear anyone come to tidy up my bedside table; yet in the morning, I found that all my usual needs and wishes had been taken care of.

I was wakened by a tap at my door, and a pretty piping child's voice asking, in broken German, to come in. On giving the usual permission, Thekla entered, carrying a great lovely boy of two years old, or thereabouts, who had only his little night-shirt on, and was all flushed with sleep. He held tight in his hands a great cluster of muscatel and noble grapes. He seemed like a little Bacchus, as she carried him towards me with an expression of pretty loving pride upon her face as she looked at him. But when he came close to me—the grim, wasted, unshorn—he turned quick away, and hid his face in her neck, still grasping tight his bunch of grapes. She spoke to him rapidly and softly, coaxing him as I could tell full well, although I could not follow her words; and in a minute or two the little fellow obeyed her, and turned and stretched himself almost to overbalancing out of her arms, and half-dropped the fruit on the bed by me. Then he clutched at her again, burying his face in her kerchief, and fastening his little fists in her luxuriant hair.

I was woke up by a knock at my door and a sweet, high-pitched child's voice asking, in broken German, if she could come in. After giving my usual permission, Thekla entered, carrying a beautiful two-year-old boy, who was just in his little nightshirt and still flushed from sleep. He was clutching a big bunch of muscatel and fine grapes. He looked like a little Bacchus as she carried him toward me, pride shining on her face as she gazed at him. But when he got close to me—the grim, thin, unshaven man—he quickly turned away and hid his face in her neck, still holding tightly to his bunch of grapes. She spoke to him quickly and softly, coaxing him as I could tell even though I couldn’t understand her words; after a minute or two, the little guy obeyed her and leaned nearly out of her arms, almost dropping the fruit on the bed beside me. Then he grabbed her again, burying his face in her scarf and clinging to her voluminous hair with his tiny fists.

HE SEEMED LIKE A LITTLE BACCHUS
He looked like a little Bacchus.
Click to __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__

"It is my master's only boy," said she, disentangling his fingers with quiet patience, only to have them grasp her braids afresh. "He is my little Max, my heart's delight, only he must not pull so hard. Say his 'to-meet-again,' and kiss his hand lovingly, and we will go." The promise of a speedy departure from my dusky room proved irresistible; he babbled out his Aufwiedersehen, and kissing his chubby hand, he was borne away joyful and chattering fast in his infantile half-language. I did not see Thekla again until late afternoon, when she brought me in my coffee. She was not like the same creature as the blooming, cheerful maiden whom I had seen in the morning; she looked wan and careworn, older by several years.

"It’s my master’s only son," she said, patiently untangling his fingers, only for him to grab her braids again. "He’s my little Max, my joy, but he shouldn’t pull so hard. Say your 'see you later' and give him a loving kiss on his hand, and then we can go." The idea of leaving my dark room was too tempting; he babbled his goodbye, and after kissing his chubby hand, he was taken away, happy and chattering in his toddler language. I didn’t see Thekla again until late afternoon when she brought me my coffee. She seemed like a different person from the bright, cheerful young woman I had seen in the morning; she looked pale and tired, several years older.

"What is the matter, Thekla?" said I, with true anxiety as to what might have befallen my good, faithful nurse.

"What’s wrong, Thekla?" I asked, genuinely worried about what might have happened to my good, loyal nurse.

She looked round before answering. "I have seen him," she said. "He has been here, and the Fräulein has been so angry! She says she will tell my master. Oh, it has been such a day!" The poor young woman, who was usually so composed and self-restrained, was on the point of bursting into tears; but by a strong effort she checked herself, and tried to busy herself with rearranging the white china cup, so as to place it more conveniently to my hand.

She looked around before answering. "I've seen him," she said. "He was here, and the lady has been so upset! She says she’ll tell my boss. Oh, what a day it has been!" The poor young woman, who was usually so poised and self-controlled, was about to burst into tears; but with a strong effort, she held herself together and tried to keep busy rearranging the white china cup to make it more convenient for me.

"Come, Thekla," said I, "tell me all about it. I have heard loud voices talking, and I fancied something had put the Fräulein out; and Lottchen looked flurried when she brought me my dinner. Is Franz here? How has he found you out?"

"Come on, Thekla," I said, "tell me everything. I heard loud voices, and I thought something upset the Fräulein; Lottchen looked flustered when she brought me my dinner. Is Franz here? How did he find you?"

"He is here. Yes, I am sure it is he; but four years makes such a difference in a man; his whole look and manner seemed so strange to me; but he knew me at once, and called me all the old names which we used to call each other when we were children; and he must needs tell me how it had come to pass that he had not married that Swiss Anna. He said he had never loved her; and that now he was going home to settle, and he hoped that I would come too, and——" There she stopped short.

"He’s here. Yes, I’m sure it’s him; but four years can change a person so much; his entire look and demeanor seemed really unfamiliar to me. But he recognized me right away and called me all the old nicknames we used to use as kids; he also felt the need to explain why he hadn’t married that Swiss girl, Anna. He said he never loved her and that now he was going home to settle down, hoping I would come along too, andSure! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize." There she stopped abruptly.

"And marry him, and live at the inn at Altenahr," said I, smiling, to reassure her, though I felt rather disappointed about the whole affair.

"And marry him, and live at the inn at Altenahr," I said, smiling to reassure her, even though I felt pretty let down about the whole situation.

"No," she replied. "Old Weber, his father, is dead; he died in debt, and Franz will have no money. And he was always one that needed money. Some are, you know; and while I was thinking, and he was standing near me, the Fräulein came in; and—and—I don't wonder—for poor Franz is not a pleasant-looking man now-a-days—she was very angry, and called me a bold, bad girl, and said she could have no such goings on at the 'Halbmond,' but would tell my master when he came home from the forest."

"No," she said. "Old Weber, his father, is dead; he died in debt, and Franz won’t have any money. He always needed money, you know? While I was thinking and he was standing near me, the Fräulein came in; and—and—I can't blame her—poor Franz doesn’t look great these days—she got really mad and called me a bold, bad girl, saying she couldn’t allow that sort of thing at the 'Halbmond,' and that she would tell my boss when he came back from the forest."

"But you could have told her that you were old friends." I hesitated, before saying the word lovers, but, after a pause, out it came.

"But you could have told her that you were old friends." I hesitated before saying the word lovers, but after a pause, it slipped out.

"Franz might have said so," she replied, a little stiffly. "I could not; but he went off as soon as she bade him. He went to the 'Adler' over the way, only saying he would come for my answer to-morrow morning. I think it was he that should have told her what we were—neighbours' children and early friends—not have left it all to me. Oh," said she, clasping her hands tight together, "she will make such a story of it to my master."

"Franz might have said that," she answered, a bit stiffly. "I couldn't; but he left right after she told him to. He went to the 'Adler' across the street, only saying he would come back for my answer tomorrow morning. I really think he should have explained what we were—neighbors' kids and old friends—rather than leaving it all up to me. Oh," she said, pressing her hands tightly together, "she's going to make such a big deal out of this to my boss."

"Never mind," said I, "tell the master I want to see him, as soon as he comes in from the forest, and trust me to set him right before the Fräulein has the chance to set him wrong."

"Forget it," I said, "just let the boss know I want to see him as soon as he comes back from the woods, and count on me to fix things before the Miss can mess them up."

She looked up at me gratefully, and went away without any more words. Presently the fine burly figure of my host stood at the opening to my enclosed sitting-room. He was there, three-cornered hat in hand, looking tired and heated as a man does after a hard day's work, but as kindly and genial as ever, which is not what every man is who is called to business after such a day, before he has had the necessary food and rest.

She looked up at me with gratitude and left without saying anything else. Soon, the sturdy figure of my host appeared at the entrance to my sitting room. He stood there, holding his three-cornered hat, looking tired and overheated from a long day’s work, but still as kind and friendly as always, which isn’t something every man manages to do when called to work after such a day, before he’s had enough food and rest.

I had been reflecting a good deal on Thekla's story; I could not quite interpret her manner to-day to my full satisfaction; but yet the love which had grown with her growth, must assuredly have been called forth by her lover's sudden reappearance; and I was inclined to give him some credit for having broken off an engagement to Swiss Anna, which had promised so many worldly advantages; and, again, I had considered that if he was a little weak and sentimental, it was Thekla, who would marry him by her own free will, and perhaps she had sense and quiet resolution enough for both. So I gave the heads of the little history I have told you to my good friend and host, adding that I should like to have a man's opinion of this man; but that if he were not an absolute good-for-nothing, and if Thekla still loved him, as I believed, I would try and advance them the requisite money towards establishing themselves in the hereditary inn at Altenahr.

I had been thinking a lot about Thekla's story; I couldn’t fully understand her behavior today, but the love that had grown alongside her must have definitely been sparked by her lover’s sudden return. I felt somewhat inclined to give him credit for breaking off an engagement to Swiss Anna, which had promised so many worldly benefits. On the other hand, I thought that even if he was a bit weak and emotional, it would be Thekla who would choose to marry him, and perhaps she had enough sense and calm determination for both of them. So, I shared the main points of the little story I’ve just told you with my good friend and host, mentioning that I would appreciate a man’s opinion on this guy. But I added that if he wasn’t completely useless, and if Thekla still loved him, as I believed, I would try to help them with the money they needed to set themselves up at the family inn in Altenahr.

Such was the romantic ending to Thekla's sorrows, I had been planning and brooding over for the last hour. As I narrated my tale, and hinted at the possible happy conclusion that might be in store, my host's face changed. The ruddy colour faded, and his look became almost stern—certainly very grave in expression. It was so unsympathetic, that I instinctively cut my words short. When I had done, he paused a little, and then said: "You would wish me to learn all I can respecting this stranger now at the 'Adler,' and give you the impression I receive of the fellow."

Such was the romantic ending to Thekla's troubles that I had been thinking about for the last hour. As I shared my story and hinted at the possible happy ending that might be ahead, my host's expression changed. The rosy color drained from his face, and he looked almost serious—definitely very grave. It was so uninviting that I instinctively ended my words abruptly. After I finished, he paused for a moment, then said, "You want me to find out everything I can about this stranger now at the 'Adler,' and give you my impression of the guy."

"Exactly so," said I; "I want to learn all I can about him for Thekla's sake."

"Exactly," I said; "I want to learn everything I can about him for Thekla's sake."

"For Thekla's sake I will do it," he gravely repeated.

"For Thekla's sake, I'll do it," he said seriously.

"And come to me to-night, even if I am gone to bed?"

"And come to me tonight, even if I’m already in bed?"

"Not so," he replied. "You must give me all the time you can in a matter like this."

"Not at all," he replied. "You need to give me as much time as possible for something like this."

"But he will come for Thekla's answer in the morning."

"But he will come for Thekla's answer in the morning."

"Before he comes you shall know all I can learn."

"Before he arrives, you'll know everything I can find out."

I was resting during the fatigues of dressing the next day, when my host tapped at my door. He looked graver and sterner than I had ever seen him do before; he sat down almost before I had begged him to do so.

I was taking a break from the tiring process of getting ready the next day when my host knocked on my door. He looked more serious and stern than I had ever seen him before; he sat down almost before I even had a chance to invite him to.

"He is not worthy of her," he said. "He drinks brandy right hard; he boasts of his success at play, and"—here he set his teeth hard—"he boasts of the women who have loved him. In a village like this, sir, there are always those who spend their evenings in the gardens of the inns; and this man, after he had drank his fill, made no secrets; it needed no spying to find out what he was, else I should not have been the one to do it."

"He’s not good enough for her," he said. "He drinks way too much brandy; he brags about his wins at gambling, and"—here he clenched his teeth—"he brags about the women who have been interested in him. In a village like this, sir, there are always people who hang out in the gardens of the inns in the evenings; and this guy, after he’d had his fill, didn’t keep anything secret; you didn’t need to spy to see what he was like, or else I wouldn’t have been the one to figure it out."

"Thekla must be told of this," said I. "She is not the woman to love any one whom she cannot respect."

"Thekla needs to know about this," I said. "She isn't the type to love someone she can't respect."

Herr Müller laughed a low bitter laugh, quite unlike himself. Then he replied,—

Herr Müller laughed a low, bitter laugh, very different from his usual self. Then he replied,—

"As for that matter, sir, you are young; you have had no great experience of women. From what my sister tells me there can be little doubt of Thekla's feeling towards him. She found them standing together by the window; his arm round Thekla's waist, and whispering in her ear—and to do the maiden justice she is not the one to suffer such familiarities from every one. No"—continued he, still in the same contemptuous tone—"you'll find she will make excuses for his faults and vices; or else, which is perhaps more likely, she will not believe your story, though I who tell it you can vouch for the truth of every word I say." He turned short away and left the room. Presently I saw his stalwart figure in the hill-side vineyard, before my windows, scaling the steep ascent with long regular steps, going to the forest beyond. I was otherwise occupied than in watching his progress during the next hour; at the end of that time he re-entered my room, looking heated and slightly tired, as if he had been walking fast, or labouring hard; but with the cloud off his brows, and the kindly light shining once again out of his honest eyes.

"As for that, sir, you’re young; you haven’t had much experience with women. From what my sister says, there’s no doubt about Thekla’s feelings for him. She found them standing together by the window, his arm around Thekla’s waist, whispering in her ear—and to be fair to the girl, she isn’t someone who allows just anyone to be so familiar. No"—he continued in the same dismissive tone—"you’ll see she’ll make excuses for his flaws and bad habits; or, more likely, she won’t believe your story, even though I, the one telling you this, can vouch for the truth of every word. He turned away abruptly and left the room. Shortly after, I saw his strong figure in the vineyard on the hillside outside my window, making his way up the steep path with long, steady strides, heading toward the forest beyond. I was preoccupied with other matters rather than watching him for the next hour; by the end of that time, he came back into my room, looking hot and a bit tired, as if he had been walking quickly or working hard; but the frown had lifted from his face, and a warm light was shining again from his honest eyes."

"I ask your pardon, sir," he began, "for troubling you afresh. I believe I was possessed by the devil this morning. I have been thinking it over. One has perhaps no right to rule for another person's happiness. To have such a"—here the honest fellow choked a little—"such a woman as Thekla to love him ought to raise any man. Besides, I am no judge for him or for her. I have found out this morning that I love her myself, and so the end of it is, that if you, sir, who are so kind as to interest yourself in the matter, and if you think it is really her heart's desire to marry this man—which ought to be his salvation both for earth and heaven—I shall be very glad to go halves with you in any place for setting them up in the inn at Altenahr; only allow me to see that whatever money we advance is well and legally tied up, so that it is secured to her. And be so kind as to take no notice of what I have said about my having found out that I have loved her; I named it as a kind of apology for my hard words this morning, and as a reason why I was not a fit judge of what was best." He had hurried on, so that I could not have stopped his eager speaking even had I wished to do so; but I was too much interested in the revelation of what was passing in his brave tender heart to desire to stop him. Now, however, his rapid words tripped each other up, and his speech ended in an unconscious sigh.

"I’m sorry to bother you again, sir," he started, "but I think I was overwhelmed this morning. I’ve been reflecting on it. Perhaps no one has the right to decide for someone else's happiness. To have a woman like Thekla love him should uplift any man. Besides, I’m not a judge for him or for her. I realized this morning that I love her myself, so if you, sir, who are so kind to get involved in this matter, think it’s truly her heart’s desire to marry this man—which should be his salvation here on earth and in heaven—I’d be happy to help with any costs for setting them up in the inn at Altenahr; just please make sure that any money we contribute is securely tied up for her benefit. And please ignore what I said about realizing my feelings for her; I mentioned it as an apology for my harsh words this morning and to explain why I’m not a suitable judge of what’s best." He spoke quickly, so I couldn’t have interrupted him even if I wanted to, but I was too interested in the feelings unfolding in his brave, tender heart to want to stop him. Now, however, his hurried words started to stumble over each other, and he finished with an unconscious sigh.

"But," I said, "since you were here Thekla has come to me, and we have had a long talk. She speaks now as openly to me as she would if I were her brother; with sensible frankness, where frankness is wise, with modest reticence, where confidence would be unbecoming. She came to ask me, if I thought it her duty to marry this fellow, whose very appearance, changed for the worse, as she says it is, since she last saw him four years ago, seemed to have repelled her."

"But," I said, "since you were here, Thekla has come to me, and we had a long conversation. She talks to me as openly as she would if I were her brother; with sensible honesty when it's appropriate, and with modest restraint when being too open wouldn't be right. She came to ask me if I thought it was her duty to marry this guy, whose appearance, she says, has changed for the worse since she last saw him four years ago, and that seemed to put her off."

"She could let him put his arm round her waist yesterday," said Herr Müller, with a return of his morning's surliness.

"She could let him put his arm around her waist yesterday," said Herr Müller, with a return of his morning's grumpiness.

"And she would marry him now if she could believe it to be her duty. For some reason of his own, this Franz Weber has tried to work upon this feeling of hers. He says it would be the saving of him."

"And she would marry him now if she could see it as her duty. For some reason of his own, this Franz Weber has tried to play on this feeling of hers. He claims it would save him."

"As if a man had not strength enough in him—a man who is good for aught—to save himself, but needed a woman to pull him through life!"

"As if a man didn't have enough strength in him—someone who is capable of anything—to save himself, but needed a woman to get him through life!"

"Nay," I replied, hardly able to keep from smiling. "You yourself said, not five minutes ago, that her marrying him might be his salvation both for earth and heaven."

"Nah," I replied, barely holding back a smile. "You just said, not even five minutes ago, that her marrying him could be his salvation here on earth and in heaven."

"That was when I thought she loved the fellow," he answered quick. "Now——but what did you say to her, sir?"

"That's when I thought she loved the guy," he replied quickly. "NowUnderstood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.but what did you say to her, sir?"

"I told her, what I believe to be as true as gospel, that as she owned she did not love him any longer now his real self had come to displace his remembrance, that she would be sinning in marrying him; doing evil that possible good might come. I was clear myself on this point, though I should have been perplexed how to advise, if her love had still continued."

"I told her what I truly believe, as certain as anything, that since she admitted she no longer loved him now that his true self had replaced her memories of him, marrying him would be a sin; it would be wrong to do something bad hoping for a possible good result. I was sure about this, even though I would have been confused about what advice to give if she had still been in love."

"And what answer did she make?"

"What did she say?"

"She went over the history of their lives; she was pleading against her wishes to satisfy her conscience. She said that all along through their childhood she had been his strength; that while under her personal influence he had been negatively good; away from her, he had fallen into mischief—"

"She reviewed the history of their lives; she was arguing against her desires to ease her conscience. She said that throughout their childhood, she had been his support; that under her influence, he had been somewhat good; away from her, he had gotten into trouble—"

"Not to say vice," put in Herr Müller.

"Not to say anything immoral," added Herr Müller.

"And now he came to her penitent, in sorrow, desirous of amendment, asking her for the love she seems to have considered as tacitly plighted to him in years gone by—"

"And now he approached her, feeling remorseful and sad, wanting to change, asking her for the love she seemed to have quietly promised him in the past—"

"And which he has slighted and insulted. I hope you told her of his words and conduct last night in the 'Adler' gardens?"

"And which he has ignored and disrespected. I hope you mentioned his words and behavior last night in the 'Adler' gardens?"

"No. I kept myself to the general principle, which, I am sure, is a true one. I repeated it in different forms; for the idea of the duty of self-sacrifice had taken strong possession of her fancy. Perhaps, if I had failed in setting her notion of her duty in the right aspect, I might have had recourse to the statement of facts, which would have pained her severely, but would have proved to her how little his words of penitence and promises of amendment were to be trusted to."

"No. I stuck to the general principle, which I believe is true. I expressed it in different ways since the concept of self-sacrifice had strongly captured her imagination. Maybe, if I hadn't managed to frame her understanding of her duty correctly, I could have turned to the facts, which would have hurt her deeply, but would have shown her how unreliable his words of regret and promises to change really were."

"And it ended?"

"And it’s over?"

"Ended by her being quite convinced that she would be doing wrong instead of right if she married a man whom she had entirely ceased to love, and that no real good could come from a course of action based on wrong-doing."

"She was completely convinced that marrying a man she no longer loved would be the wrong choice, and that no real good could come from actions based on wrongdoing."

"That is right and true," he replied, his face broadening into happiness again.

"That's right and true," he replied, his face breaking into a smile again.

"But she says she must leave your service, and go elsewhere."

"But she says she has to leave your service and go somewhere else."

"Leave my service she shall; go elsewhere she shall not."

"She will leave my service; she will not go anywhere else."

"I cannot tell what you may have the power of inducing her to do; but she seems to me very resolute."

"I can't say what you might be able to convince her to do; but she seems very determined to me."

"Why?" said he, firing round at me, as if I had made her resolute.

"Why?" he asked, shooting a look at me, as if I was the one who had made her determined.

"She says your sister spoke to her before the maids of the household, and before some of the townspeople, in a way that she could not stand; and that you yourself by your manner to her last night showed how she had lost your respect. She added, with her face of pure maidenly truth, that he had come into such close contact with her only the instant before your sister had entered the room."

"She says your sister talked to her in front of the maids and some townspeople in a way that she found unbearable; and that your behavior toward her last night made it clear how much respect she had lost from you. She added, with her innocent expression, that he was only in such close proximity to her just before your sister walked into the room."

"With your leave, sir," said Herr Müller, turning towards the door, "I will go and set all that right at once."

"With your permission, sir," said Herr Müller, turning toward the door, "I'll go and sort everything out immediately."

It was easier said than done. When I next saw Thekla, her eyes were swollen up with crying, but she was silent, almost defiant towards me. A look of resolute determination had settled down upon her face. I learnt afterwards that parts of my conversation with Herr Müller had been injudiciously quoted by him in the talk he had had with her. I thought I would leave her to herself, and wait till she unburdened herself of the feeling of unjust resentment towards me. But it was days before she spoke to me with anything like her former frankness. I had heard all about it from my host long before.

It was easier said than done. When I next saw Thekla, her eyes were puffy from crying, but she was quiet, almost defiant towards me. A look of firm determination had settled on her face. I found out later that parts of my conversation with Herr Müller had been poorly quoted by him during their talk. I figured I would let her be and wait until she was ready to let go of her feelings of unfair resentment towards me. But it took her days to speak to me with anything like her previous openness. I had heard all about it from my host long before.

He had gone to her straight on leaving me; and like a foolish, impetuous lover, had spoken out his mind and his wishes to her in the presence of his sister, who, it must be remembered, had heard no explanation of the conduct which had given her propriety so great a shock the day before. Herr Müller thought to re-instate Thekla in his sister's good opinion by giving her in the Fräulein's very presence the highest possible mark of his own love and esteem. And there in the kitchen, where the Fräulein was deeply engaged in the hot work of making some delicate preserve on the stove, and ordering Thekla about with short, sharp displeasure in her tones, the master had come in, and possessing himself of the maiden's hand, had, to her infinite surprise—to his sister's infinite indignation—made her the offer of his heart, his wealth, his life; had begged of her to marry him. I could gather from his account that she had been in a state of trembling discomfiture at first; she had not spoken, but had twisted her hand out of his, and had covered her face with her apron. And then the Fräulein had burst forth—"accursed words" he called her speech. Thekla uncovered her face to listen; to listen to the end; to listen to the passionate recrimination between the brother and the sister. And then she went up, close up to the angry Fräulein, and had said quite quietly, but with a manner of final determination which had evidently sunk deep into her suitor's heart, and depressed him into hopelessness, that the Fräulein had no need to disturb herself; that on this very day she had been thinking of marrying another man, and that her heart was not like a room to let, into which as one tenant went out another might enter. Nevertheless, she felt the master's goodness. He had always treated her well from the time when she had entered the house as his servant. And she should be sorry to leave him; sorry to leave the children; very sorry to leave little Max: yes, she should even be sorry to leave the Fräulein, who was a good woman, only a little too apt to be hard on other women. But she had already been that very day and deposited her warning at the police office; the busy time would be soon over, and she should be glad to leave their service on All Saints' Day. Then (he thought) she had felt inclined to cry, for she suddenly braced herself up, and said, yes, she should be very glad; for somehow, though they had been kind to her, she had been very unhappy at Heppenheim; and she would go back to her home for a time, and see her old father and kind stepmother, and her nursling half-sister Ida, and be among her own people again.

He had gone to her right after leaving me; and like a silly, impulsive lover, he had shared his feelings and desires with her in front of his sister, who, it’s important to note, had heard no explanation for the behavior that had shocked her sense of propriety the day before. Herr Müller thought he could restore Thekla's reputation in his sister's eyes by giving her, right in front of the Fräulein, the highest possible sign of his love and respect. And there in the kitchen, where the Fräulein was busy making some delicate preserve on the stove and barking orders at Thekla with a tone of sharp displeasure, the master had walked in, taken the maiden's hand, and, to her utter surprise—and his sister's complete outrage—offered her his heart, his wealth, his life; he begged her to marry him. From his account, I could tell that she had initially been trembling with discomfort; she hadn’t said a word, but had pulled her hand away from his and hidden her face in her apron. Then the Fräulein had exploded—he called her words "accursed." Thekla uncovered her face to listen; to listen until the end; to listen to the passionate fight between the brother and sister. After that, she approached the angry Fräulein and said quite calmly, but with a sense of finality that clearly struck her suitor deeply and depressed him into hopelessness, that the Fräulein didn’t need to worry; that on that very day she had been thinking about marrying another man, and that her heart wasn’t like a room for rent, where one tenant could leave and another could move in. Nevertheless, she acknowledged the master’s kindness. He had always treated her well since she had entered the house as his servant. She would be sad to leave him; sad to leave the children; very sad to leave little Max: yes, she would even be sad to leave the Fräulein, who was a good woman, just a little too harsh on other women. But she had already gone that very day to file her notice at the police office; the busy season would soon be over, and she would be happy to leave their service on All Saints' Day. Then (he thought) she had seemed ready to cry, for she suddenly steeled herself and said she would indeed be very glad; because, although they had been good to her, she had been quite unhappy in Heppenheim; and she wanted to return home for a while, to see her old father and caring stepmother, and her little half-sister Ida, and be with her own people again.

I could see it was this last part that most of all rankled in Herr Müller's mind. In all probability Franz Weber was making his way back to Heppenheim too; and the bad suspicion would keep welling up that some lingering feeling for her old lover and disgraced playmate was making her so resolute to leave and return to Altenahr.

I could tell that this last part bothered Herr Müller the most. Most likely, Franz Weber was also heading back to Heppenheim, and the unsettling thought would keep resurfacing that some lingering feelings for her old lover and disgraced friend were driving her to leave and return to Altenahr.

For some days after this I was the confidant of the whole household, excepting Thekla. She, poor creature, looked miserable enough; but the hardy, defiant expression was always on her face. Lottchen spoke out freely enough; the place would not be worth having if Thekla left it; it was she who had the head for everything, the patience for everything; who stood between all the under-servants and the Fräulein's tempers. As for the children, poor motherless children! Lottchen was sure that the master did not know what he was doing when he allowed his sister to turn Thekla away—and all for what? for having a lover, as every girl had who could get one. Why, the little boy Max slept in the room which Lottchen shared with Thekla; and she heard him in the night as quickly as if she was his mother; when she had been sitting up with me, when I was so ill, Lottchen had had to attend to him; and it was weary work after a hard day to have to get up and soothe a teething child; she knew she had been cross enough sometimes; but Thekla was always good and gentle with him, however tired he was. And as Lottchen left the room I could hear her repeating that she thought she should leave when Thekla went, for that her place would not be worth having.

For several days after that, I became the go-to person for everyone in the household, except for Thekla. She, poor thing, looked extremely unhappy, but she always had a tough, defiant look on her face. Lottchen spoke up freely; she said the place wouldn't be worth staying in if Thekla left. It was Thekla who had the brains for everything, who had the patience for everything, and who managed the under-servants and the Fräulein's moods. As for the children, those poor motherless kids! Lottchen was convinced that the master didn't realize what he was doing by letting his sister dismiss Thekla—and all for what? For having a boyfriend, like any girl who could get one. The little boy Max slept in the room that Lottchen shared with Thekla, and she could hear him at night as if she were his mother. When she had been sitting up with me during my illness, Lottchen had to take care of him, which was exhausting after a long day, having to get up to comfort a teething child. She knew she had been grumpy sometimes, but Thekla was always kind and gentle with him, no matter how tired she was. As Lottchen left the room, I heard her say again that she might leave when Thekla did, because her job wouldn’t be worth keeping.

Even the Fräulein had her word of regret—regret mingled with self-justification. She thought she had been quite right in speaking to Thekla for allowing such familiarities; how was she to know that the man was an old friend and playmate? He looked like a right profligate good-for-nothing. And to have a servant take up her scolding as an unpardonable offence, and persist in quitting her place, just when she had learnt all her work, and was so useful in the household—so useful that the Fräulein could never put up with any fresh, stupid house-maiden, but, sooner than take the trouble of teaching the new servant where everything was, and how to give out the stores if she was busy, she would go back to Worms. For, after all, housekeeping for a brother was thankless work; there was no satisfying men; and Heppenheim was but a poor ignorant village compared to Worms.

Even the Miss had her moment of regret—regret mixed with self-justification. She thought she had every right to talk to Thekla about allowing such familiarity; how was she to know that the man was an old friend and playmate? He looked like a complete wastrel. And for a servant to take her scolding as an unforgivable offense and insist on leaving just when she had learned all her tasks and was so helpful around the house—so helpful that the Miss could never put up with any new, clueless maid, but rather than deal with teaching the new servant where everything was and how to handle the supplies if she was busy, she would just go back to Worms. After all, managing a household for a brother was thankless work; there was no pleasing men; and Heppenheim was just a poor, ignorant village compared to Worms.

She must have spoken to her brother about her intention of leaving him, and returning to her former home; indeed a feeling of coolness had evidently grown up between the brother and sister during these latter days. When one evening Herr Müller brought in his pipe, and, as his custom had sometimes been, sat down by my stove to smoke, he looked gloomy and annoyed. I let him puff away, and take his own time. At length he began,—

She must have talked to her brother about her plan to leave him and go back to her old home; clearly, a sense of distance had developed between the siblings recently. One evening, when Herr Müller brought in his pipe and, as he sometimes did, sat down by my stove to smoke, he seemed gloomy and irritated. I let him smoke at his own pace. Finally, he started to speak,—

"I have rid the village of him at last. I could not bear to have him here disgracing Thekla with speaking to her whenever she went to the vineyard or the fountain. I don't believe she likes him a bit."

"I finally got rid of him in the village. I couldn't stand having him around embarrassing Thekla by talking to her every time she went to the vineyard or the fountain. I really don't think she likes him at all."

"No more do I," I said. He turned on me.

"No more do I," I said. He turned to me.

"Then why did she speak to him at all? Why cannot she like an honest man who likes her? Why is she so bent on going home to Altenahr?"

"Then why did she talk to him at all? Why can't she just appreciate a good guy who likes her? Why is she so set on going back home to Altenahr?"

"She speaks to him because she has known him from a child, and has a faithful pity for one whom she has known so innocent, and who is now so lost in all good men's regard. As for not liking an honest man—(though I may have my own opinion about that)—liking goes by fancy, as we say in English; and Altenahr is her home; her father's house is at Altenahr, as you know."

"She talks to him because she has known him since he was a child, and she feels a genuine sympathy for someone she has seen as so innocent, who is now lost in the eyes of good people. As for not liking an honest man—(though I might have my own thoughts on that)—liking is based on personal preference, as we say in English; and Altenahr is her home; her family's house is in Altenahr, as you know."

"I wonder if he will go there," quoth Herr Müller, after two or three more puffs. "He was fast at the 'Adler;' he could not pay his score, so he kept on staying here, saying that he should receive a letter from a friend with money in a day or two; lying in wait, too, for Thekla, who is well-known and respected all through Heppenheim: so his being an old friend of hers made him have a kind of standing. I went in this morning and paid his score, on condition that he left the place this day; and he left the village as merrily as a cricket, caring no more for Thekla than for the Kaiser who built our church: for he never looked back at the 'Halbmond,' but went whistling down the road."

"I wonder if he’ll actually go there," said Herr Müller, after taking a couple more puffs. "He was in a bind at the 'Adler;' he couldn’t pay his bill, so he kept hanging around here, claiming he was waiting to receive a letter from a friend with money in a day or two; he was also lurking around for Thekla, who is well-known and respected all over Heppenheim: so being an old friend of hers gave him a bit of status. I went in this morning and paid his bill, but only on the condition that he left today; and he left the village as cheerfully as a cricket, caring no more for Thekla than for the Kaiser who built our church: he didn’t even look back at the 'Halbmond,' but just whistled down the road."

"That is a good riddance," said I.

"That’s a relief," I said.

"Yes. But my sister says she must return to Worms. And Lottchen has given notice; she says the place will not be worth having when Thekla leaves. I wish I could give notice too."

"Yeah. But my sister says she has to go back to Worms. And Lottchen has put in her notice; she says the place won’t be worth staying at when Thekla leaves. I wish I could quit too."

"Try Thekla again."

"Try Thekla again."

"Not I," said he, reddening. "It would seem now as if I only wanted her for a housekeeper. Besides, she avoids me at every turn, and will not even look at me. I am sure she bears me some ill-will about that ne'er-do-well."

"Not me," he said, blushing. "It looks like I just want her to be a housekeeper. Plus, she dodges me all the time and won't even glance my way. I'm sure she holds some grudge against me because of that good-for-nothing."

There was silence between us for some time, which he at length broke.

There was silence between us for a while, and then he finally spoke.

"The pastor has a good and comely daughter. Her mother is a famous housewife. They often have asked me to come to the parsonage and smoke a pipe. When the vintage is over, and I am less busy, I think I will go there, and look about me."

"The pastor has a lovely and attractive daughter. Her mother is a well-known homemaker. They've often invited me to the parsonage to smoke a pipe. Once the harvest is over and I have more free time, I think I'll go visit and take a look around."

"When is the vintage?" asked I. "I hope it will take place soon, for I am growing so well and strong I fear I must leave you shortly; but I should like to see the vintage first."

"When is the harvest?" I asked. "I hope it will happen soon because I'm getting healthier and stronger, and I worry I might have to leave you soon; but I'd really like to see the harvest first."

"Oh, never fear! you must not travel yet awhile; and Government has fixed the grape-gathering to begin on the fourteenth."

"Oh, don't worry! You don't have to travel just yet; the government has set the grape harvest to start on the fourteenth."

"What a paternal Government! How does it know when the grapes will be ripe? Why cannot every man fix his own time for gathering his own grapes?"

"What a caring government! How does it know when the grapes will be ready? Why can't everyone choose their own time to pick their own grapes?"

"That has never been our way in Germany. There are people employed by the Government to examine the vines, and report when the grapes are ripe. It is necessary to make laws about it; for, as you must have seen, there is nothing but the fear of the law to protect our vineyards and fruit-trees; there are no enclosures along the Berg-Strasse, as you tell me you have in England; but, as people are only allowed to go into the vineyards on stated days, no one, under pretence of gathering his own produce, can stray into his neighbour's grounds and help himself, without some of the duke's foresters seeing him."

"That's never been how we do things in Germany. There are people hired by the government to inspect the vines and let us know when the grapes are ripe. Laws are necessary for this because, as you must have noticed, the only thing protecting our vineyards and fruit trees is the fear of the law. Unlike in England, where you have enclosures along the Berg-Strasse, here people are only allowed to enter the vineyards on designated days. So, no one can wander into their neighbor's property under the guise of picking their own harvest without some of the duke's foresters noticing."

"Well," said I, "to each country its own laws."

"Well," I said, "every country has its own laws."

I think it was on that very evening that Thekla came in for something. She stopped arranging the tablecloth and the flowers, as if she had something to say, yet did not know how to begin. At length I found that her sore, hot heart, wanted some sympathy; her hand was against every one's, and she fancied every one had turned against her. She looked up at me, and said, a little abruptly,—

I think it was that very evening when Thekla came in for something. She paused while setting up the tablecloth and flowers, as if she had something to share but didn’t know how to start. Eventually, I realized that her hurt and troubled heart was looking for some understanding; she felt alienated from everyone and thought everyone was against her. She glanced at me and said, a bit abruptly,—

"Does the gentleman know that I go on the fifteenth?"

"Does the guy know that I leave on the fifteenth?"

"So soon?" said I, with surprise. "I thought you were to remain here till All Saints' Day."

"So soon?" I said, surprised. "I thought you were going to stay here until All Saints' Day."

"So I should have done—so I must have done—if the Fräulein had not kindly given me leave to accept of a place—a very good place too—of housekeeper to a widow lady at Frankfort. It is just the sort of situation I have always wished for. I expect I shall be so happy and comfortable there."

"So I should have done—so I must have done—if the Fräulein hadn't kindly given me permission to take a job—a really good job, too—as a housekeeper for a widow in Frankfurt. It's exactly the kind of position I've always wanted. I expect I'll be very happy and comfortable there."

"Methinks the lady doth profess too much," came into my mind. I saw she expected me to doubt the probability of her happiness, and was in a defiant mood.

"I think the lady is trying a bit too hard," crossed my mind. I noticed she expected me to question the likelihood of her happiness and was feeling confrontational.

"Of course," said I, "you would hardly have wished to leave Heppenheim if you had been happy here; and every new place always promises fair, whatever its performance may be. But wherever you go, remember you have always a friend in me."

"Of course," I said, "you wouldn't have wanted to leave Heppenheim if you were happy here; and every new place always looks good at first, no matter how it turns out. But wherever you go, just remember you always have a friend in me."

"Yes," she replied, "I think you are to be trusted. Though, from my experience, I should say that of very few men."

"Yes," she said, "I think you're trustworthy. But based on my experience, I can only say that about very few men."

"You have been unfortunate," I answered; "many men would say the same of women."

"You've been unlucky," I replied; "a lot of guys would say the same about women."

She thought a moment, and then said, in a changed tone of voice, "The Fräulein here has been much more friendly and helpful of these late days than her brother; yet I have served him faithfully, and have cared for his little Max as though he were my own brother. But this morning he spoke to me for the first time for many days,—he met me in the passage, and, suddenly stopping, he said he was glad I had met with so comfortable a place, and that I was at full liberty to go whenever I liked: and then he went quickly on, never waiting for my answer."

She paused for a moment and then said, in a different tone, "The young lady here has been much friendlier and more helpful lately than her brother; yet I have served him loyally and taken care of his little Max as if he were my own brother. But this morning, he spoke to me for the first time in many days—he ran into me in the hallway and, suddenly stopping, said he was glad I found such a comfortable place and that I was completely free to leave whenever I wanted. Then he quickly walked away, never waiting for my response."

"And what was wrong in that? It seems to me he was trying to make you feel entirely at your ease, to do as you thought best, without regard to his own interests."

"And what was wrong with that? It seems to me he was trying to make you feel completely comfortable, to do what you thought was best, without considering his own interests."

"Perhaps so. It is silly, I know," she continued, turning full on me her grave, innocent eyes; "but one's vanity suffers a little when every one is so willing to part with one."

"Maybe that's true. I get it, it sounds silly," she said, facing me with her serious, innocent eyes; "but it does hurt a bit to see how easily everyone is ready to let go of me."

"Thekla! I owe you a great debt—let me speak to you openly. I know that your master wanted to marry you, and that you refused him. Do not deceive yourself. You are sorry for that refusal now?"

"Thekla! I owe you a huge favor—let me talk to you honestly. I know that your master wanted to marry you, and that you turned him down. Don’t kid yourself. Are you regretting that decision now?"

She kept her serious look fixed upon me; but her face and throat reddened all over.

She maintained her serious expression as she looked at me, but her face and neck turned completely red.

"No," said she, at length; "I am not sorry. What can you think I am made of; having loved one man ever since I was a little child until a fortnight ago, and now just as ready to love another? I know you do not rightly consider what you say, or I should take it as an insult."

"No," she said finally; "I'm not sorry. What do you think I'm made of? I've loved one man since I was a little girl until two weeks ago, and now I'm just as ready to love another? I know you don't really think about what you're saying, or I would take it as an insult."

"You loved an ideal man; he disappointed you, and you clung to your remembrance of him. He came, and the reality dispelled all illusions."

"You loved an ideal man; he let you down, and you held on to your memories of him. He came, and the reality shattered all your illusions."

"I do not understand philosophy," said she. "I only know that I think that Herr Müller had lost all respect for me from what his sister had told him; and I know that I am going away; and I trust I shall be happier in Frankfort than I have been here of late days." So saying, she left the room.

"I don't get philosophy," she said. "All I know is that I think Herr Müller has completely lost respect for me because of what his sister told him; and I know I'm leaving; and I hope I’ll be happier in Frankfort than I have been lately." With that, she left the room.

I was wakened up on the morning of the fourteenth by the merry ringing of church bells, and the perpetual firing and popping off of guns and pistols. But all this was over by the time I was up and dressed, and seated at breakfast in my partitioned room. It was a perfect October day; the dew not yet off the blades of grass, glistening on the delicate gossamer webs, which stretched from flower to flower in the garden, lying in the morning shadow of the house. But beyond the garden, on the sunny hill-side, men, women, and children were clambering up the vineyards like ants,—busy, irregular in movement, clustering together, spreading wide apart,—I could hear the shrill merry voices as I sat,—and all along the valley, as far as I could see, it was much the same; for every one filled his house for the day of the vintage, that great annual festival. Lottchen, who had brought in my breakfast, was all in her Sunday best, having risen early to get her work done and go abroad to gather grapes. Bright colours seemed to abound; I could see dots of scarlet, and crimson, and orange through the fading leaves; it was not a day to languish in the house; and I was on the point of going out by myself, when Herr Müller came in to offer me his sturdy arm, and help me in walking to the vineyard. We crept through the garden scented with late flowers and sunny fruit,—we passed through the gate I had so often gazed at from the easy-chair, and were in the busy vineyard; great baskets lay on the grass already piled nearly full of purple and yellow grapes. The wine made from these was far from pleasant to my taste; for the best Rhine wine is made from a smaller grape, growing in closer, harder clusters; but the larger and less profitable grape is by far the most picturesque in its mode of growth, and far the best to eat into the bargain. Wherever we trod, it was on fragrant, crushed vine-leaves; every one we saw had his hands and face stained with the purple juice. Presently I sat down on a sunny bit of grass, and my host left me to go farther afield, to look after the more distant vineyards. I watched his progress. After he left me, he took off coat and waistcoat, displaying his snowy shirt and gaily-worked braces; and presently he was as busy as any one. I looked down on the village; the gray and orange and crimson roofs lay glowing in the noonday sun. I could see down into the streets; but they were all empty—even the old people came toiling up the hill-side to share in the general festivity. Lottchen had brought up cold dinners for a regiment of men; every one came and helped himself. Thekla was there, leading the little Karoline, and helping the toddling steps of Max; but she kept aloof from me; for I knew, or suspected, or had probed too much. She alone looked sad and grave, and spoke so little, even to her friends, that it was evident to see that she was trying to wean herself finally from the place. But I could see that she had lost her short, defiant manner. What she did say was kindly and gently spoken. The Fräulein came out late in the morning, dressed, I suppose, in the latest Worms fashion—quite different to anything I had ever seen before. She came up to me, and talked very graciously to me for some time.

I was woke up on the morning of the fourteenth by the cheerful ringing of church bells and the constant firing of guns and pistols. But all that was over by the time I was up, dressed, and sitting at breakfast in my partitioned room. It was a perfect October day; the dew still clung to the blades of grass, glistening on the delicate spider webs stretching from flower to flower in the garden, lying in the morning shadow of the house. But beyond the garden, on the sunny hillside, men, women, and children were climbing up the vineyards like ants—busy, moving in all directions, clustering together, spreading apart. I could hear their cheerful voices as I sat, and all along the valley, as far as I could see, it was much the same; everyone was filling their houses for the day of the vintage, that great annual festival. Lottchen, who had brought in my breakfast, was all dressed up for Sunday, having risen early to finish her work and go out to gather grapes. Bright colors seemed to be everywhere; I could see splashes of scarlet, crimson, and orange among the fading leaves. It wasn’t a day to stay cooped up in the house, and I was just about to go out by myself when Herr Müller came in to offer me his strong arm to help me walk to the vineyard. We made our way through the garden scented with late flowers and sunny fruit—we passed through the gate I had often looked at from the easy chair and entered the bustling vineyard; big baskets were lying on the grass, already piled high with purple and yellow grapes. The wine made from these wasn’t really to my taste; the best Rhine wine is made from smaller grapes that grow in tighter, tougher clusters. But the larger and less economical grape is definitely the most picturesque in how it grows and is also the best for eating. Wherever we walked, it was on fragrant, crushed vine leaves; everyone we saw had their hands and faces stained with purple juice. Soon, I sat down on a sunny patch of grass while my host went further out to check on the more distant vineyards. I watched him as he took off his coat and waistcoat, revealing his white shirt and brightly patterned suspenders, and before long, he was as busy as anyone else. I looked down on the village; the gray, orange, and crimson roofs glowed in the midday sun. I could see down into the streets, but they were empty—even the older folks were trudging up the hillside to join in the general celebration. Lottchen had brought cold meals for a bunch of men; everyone came to serve themselves. Thekla was there, leading little Karoline and helping Max with his first steps; but she kept her distance from me, as I knew or suspected too much. She alone looked sad and serious, speaking very little, even to her friends; it was clear she was trying to finally detach herself from this place. But I could see she had lost her previously bold and defiant manner. What she did say was kind and gently spoken. The Fräulein came out late in the morning, dressed, I assumed, in the latest Worms style—quite different from anything I had ever seen before. She approached me and chatted graciously for a while.

"Here comes the proprietor (squire) and his lady, and their dear children. See, the vintagers have tied bunches of the finest grapes on to a stick, heavier than the children or even the lady can carry. Look! look! how he bows!—one can tell he has been an attaché at Vienna. That is the court way of bowing there—holding the hat right down before them, and bending the back at right angles. How graceful! And here is the doctor! I thought he would spare time to come up here. Well, doctor, you will go all the more cheerfully to your next patient for having been up into the vineyards. Nonsense, about grapes making other patients for you. Ah, here is the pastor and his wife, and the Fräulein Anna. Now, where is my brother, I wonder? Up in the far vineyard, I make no doubt. Mr. Pastor, the view up above is far finer than what it is here, and the best grapes grow there; shall I accompany you and madame, and the dear Fräulein? The gentleman will excuse me."

"Here come the owner and his lady, along with their dear kids. Look, the grape pickers have tied bunches of the best grapes to a stick, heavier than the kids or even the lady can carry. Look! look! See how he bows! You can tell he's been an attaché in Vienna. That’s how they bow at court there—holding the hat way down in front and bending their backs at right angles. So graceful! And here’s the doctor! I thought he’d find time to come up here. Well, doctor, you’ll be all the more cheerful for your next patient after visiting the vineyards. Nonsense about grapes causing more patients for you. Ah, here’s the pastor and his wife, and Fräulein Anna. Now, I wonder where my brother is? Up in the far vineyard, I bet. Mr. Pastor, the view up there is way better than it is here, and the best grapes grow there; should I join you and madame, along with dear Fräulein? The gentleman will excuse me."

I was left alone. Presently I thought I would walk a little farther, or at any rate change my position. I rounded a corner in the pathway, and there I found Thekla, watching by little sleeping Max. He lay on her shawl; and over his head she had made an arching canopy of broken vine-branches, so that the great leaves threw their cool, flickering shadows on his face. He was smeared all over with grape-juice, his sturdy fingers grasped a half-eaten bunch even in his sleep. Thekla was keeping Lina quiet by teaching her how to weave a garland for her head out of field-flowers and autumn-tinted leaves. The maiden sat on the ground, with her back to the valley beyond, the child kneeling by her, watching the busy fingers with eager intentness. Both looked up as I drew near, and we exchanged a few words.

I was left alone. Soon, I thought I would walk a little farther or at least change my position. I rounded a corner in the path and found Thekla watching little sleeping Max. He was lying on her shawl, and over his head, she had made an arching canopy of broken vine branches, so the big leaves cast cool, flickering shadows on his face. He was covered in grape juice, his sturdy fingers clinging to a half-eaten bunch even in his sleep. Thekla was keeping Lina calm by teaching her how to weave a garland for her head out of field flowers and autumn-colored leaves. The girl sat on the ground, with her back to the valley behind her, the child kneeling beside her, watching her busy fingers with eager interest. Both looked up as I approached, and we exchanged a few words.

"Where is the master?" I asked. "I promised to await his return; he wished to give me his arm down the wooden steps; but I do not see him."

"Where's the master?" I asked. "I said I would wait for him to come back; he wanted to help me down the wooden steps, but I can't find him."

"He is in the higher vineyard," said Thekla, quietly, but not looking round in that direction. "He will be some time there, I should think. He went with the pastor and his wife; he will have to speak to his labourers and his friends. My arm is strong, and I can leave Max in Lina's care for five minutes. If you are tired, and want to go back, let me help you down the steps; they are steep and slippery."

"He’s in the upper vineyard," Thekla said quietly, not turning to look that way. "I think he’ll be there for a while. He went with the pastor and his wife; he’ll need to talk to his workers and his friends. My arm is strong, and I can leave Max in Lina’s care for five minutes. If you’re tired and want to head back, let me help you down the steps; they’re steep and slippery."

I had turned to look up the valley. Three or four hundred yards off, in the higher vineyard, walked the dignified pastor, and his homely, decorous wife. Behind came the Fräulein Anna, in her short-sleeved Sunday gown, daintily holding a parasol over her luxuriant brown hair. Close behind her came Herr Müller, stopping now to speak to his men,—again, to cull out a bunch of grapes to tie on to the Fräulein's stick; and by my feet sate the proud serving-maid in her country dress, waiting for my answer, with serious, up-turned eyes, and sad, composed face.

I looked up the valley. Three or four hundred yards away, in the upper vineyard, walked the dignified pastor and his modest, proper wife. Behind them was Fräulein Anna, in her short-sleeved Sunday dress, gracefully holding a parasol over her beautiful brown hair. Right behind her was Herr Müller, pausing to chat with his workers and then picking a bunch of grapes to tie onto Fräulein's stick; and at my feet sat the proud maid in her country dress, waiting for my response, with serious, upturned eyes and a calm, solemn expression.

"No, I am much obliged to you, Thekla; and if I did not feel so strong I would have thankfully taken your arm. But I only wanted to leave a message for the master, just to say that I have gone home."

"No, I really appreciate it, Thekla; and if I didn’t feel so good, I would have gladly taken your arm. But I just wanted to leave a message for the master, to let him know that I’ve gone home."

"Lina will give it to the father when he comes down," said Thekla.

"Lina will give it to Dad when he comes down," said Thekla.

I went slowly down into the garden. The great labour of the day was over, and the younger part of the population had returned to the village, and were preparing the fireworks and pistol-shootings for the evening. Already one or two of those well-known German carts (in the shape of a V) were standing near the vineyard gates, the patient oxen meekly waiting while basketful after basketful of grapes were being emptied into the leaf-lined receptacle.

I walked slowly into the garden. The hard work of the day was done, and the younger people had gone back to the village to get ready for the fireworks and shooting for the evening. Already, one or two of those familiar German carts (shaped like a V) were parked near the vineyard gates, with patient oxen patiently waiting while basket after basket of grapes was emptied into the leaf-lined container.

As I sat down in my easy-chair close to the open window through which I had entered, I could see the men and women on the hill-side drawing to a centre, and all stand round the pastor, bareheaded, for a minute or so. I guessed that some words of holy thanksgiving were being said, and I wished that I had stayed to hear them, and mark my especial gratitude for having been spared to see that day. Then I heard the distant voices, the deep tones of the men, the shriller pipes of women and children, join in the German harvest-hymn, which is generally sung on such occasions;1 then silence, while I concluded that a blessing was spoken by the pastor, with outstretched arms; and then they once more dispersed, some to the village, some to finish their labours for the day among the vines. I saw Thekla coming through the garden with Max in her arms, and Lina clinging to her woollen skirts. Thekla made for my open window; it was rather a shorter passage into the house than round by the door. "I may come through, may I not?" she asked, softly. "I fear Max is not well; I cannot understand his look, and he wakened up so strange!" She paused to let me see the child's face; it was flushed almost to a crimson look of heat, and his breathing was laboured and uneasy, his eyes half-open and filmy.

As I settled into my comfy chair near the open window I had just come in through, I could see the men and women on the hillside gathering together and standing around the pastor, bareheaded, for a minute or so. I guessed they were saying some words of thanks, and I wished I had stayed to hear them, to express my own gratitude for being alive to see that day. Then I heard the distant voices, the deep tones of the men, and the higher voices of women and children, joining in the German harvest hymn that is usually sung on such occasions;1 then silence, while I assumed the pastor was offering a blessing with outstretched arms; and then they dispersed again, some heading to the village, some finishing their work for the day among the vines. I saw Thekla coming through the garden with Max in her arms, and Lina holding onto her woolen skirts. Thekla headed for my open window; it was a shorter way into the house than going around by the door. "Can I come through, please?" she asked softly. "I’m worried Max isn’t well; I don’t understand his look, and he woke up looking so strange!" She paused to show me the child's face; it was flushed almost crimson from heat, and his breathing was labored and uneasy, his eyes half-open and cloudy.

"Something is wrong, I am sure," said I. "I don't know anything about children, but he is not in the least like himself."

"Something's not right, I'm sure," I said. "I don't know much about kids, but he's not acting like himself at all."

She bent down and kissed the cheek so tenderly that she would not have bruised the petal of a rose. "Heart's darling," she murmured. He quivered all over at her touch, working his fingers in an unnatural kind of way, and ending with a convulsive twitching all over his body. Lina began to cry at the grave, anxious look on our faces.

She leaned down and kissed his cheek so gently that she wouldn't have hurt a rose petal. "My dear heart," she whispered. He shivered at her touch, moving his fingers in an odd way and finishing with a sudden twitch throughout his body. Lina began to cry at the serious, worried expressions on our faces.

"You had better call the Fräulein to look at him," said I. "I feel sure he ought to have a doctor; I should say he was going to have a fit."

"You should definitely call the lady to check on him," I said. "I really think he needs to see a doctor; I’d say he’s about to have a seizure."

"The Fräulein and the master are gone to the pastor's for coffee, and Lottchen is in the higher vineyard, taking the men their bread and beer. Could you find the kitchen girl, or old Karl? he will be in the stables, I think. I must lose no time." Almost without waiting for my reply, she had passed through the room, and in the empty house I could hear her firm, careful footsteps going up the stair; Lina's pattering beside her; and the one voice wailing, the other speaking low comfort.

"The young woman and the master have gone to the pastor's for coffee, and Lottchen is in the upper vineyard, bringing the men their bread and beer. Could you find the kitchen girl, or old Karl? He should be in the stables, I think. I can't waste any time." Almost without waiting for my answer, she moved through the room, and in the empty house, I could hear her steady, careful footsteps going up the stairs; Lina's quick steps beside her; one voice crying out while the other spoke softly to comfort her.

I was tired enough, but this good family had treated me too much like one of their own for me not to do what I could in such a case as this. I made my way out into the street, for the first time since I had come to the house on that memorable evening six weeks ago. I bribed the first person I met to guide me to the doctor's, and send him straight down to the "Halbmond," not staying to listen to the thorough scolding he fell to giving me; then on to the parsonage, to tell the master and the Fräulein of the state of things at home.

I was pretty tired, but this wonderful family had treated me like one of their own, so I felt I had to do whatever I could in this situation. I stepped out onto the street for the first time since I arrived at the house on that memorable evening six weeks ago. I paid the first person I saw to show me the way to the doctor’s place and told him to send him straight over to the "Halbmond," not stopping to listen to the lecture he started giving me; then I headed over to the parsonage to inform the master and the Fräulein about what was happening at home.

I was sorry to be the bearer of bad news into such a festive chamber as the pastor's. There they sat, resting after heat and fatigue, each in their best gala dress, the table spread with "Dicker-milch," potato-salad, cakes of various shapes and kinds—all the dainty cates dear to the German palate. The pastor was talking to Herr Müller, who stood near the pretty young Fräulein Anna, in her fresh white chemisette, with her round white arms, and her youthful coquettish airs, as she prepared to pour out the coffee; our Fräulein was talking busily to the Frau Mama; the younger boys and girls of the family filling up the room. A ghost would have startled the assembled party less than I did, and would probably have been more welcome, considering the news I brought. As he listened, the master caught up his hat and went forth, without apology or farewell. Our Fräulein made up for both, and questioned me fully; but now she, I could see, was in haste to go, although restrained by her manners, and the kind-hearted Frau Pastorin soon set her at liberty to follow her inclination. As for me I was dead-beat, and only too glad to avail myself of the hospitable couple's pressing request that I would stop and share their meal. Other magnates of the village came in presently, and relieved me of the strain of keeping up a German conversation about nothing at all with entire strangers. The pretty Fräulein's face had clouded over a little at Herr Müller's sudden departure; but she was soon as bright as could be, giving private chase and sudden little scoldings to her brothers, as they made raids upon the dainties under her charge. After I was duly rested and refreshed, I took my leave; for I, too, had my quieter anxieties about the sorrow in the Müller family.

I hated to bring bad news into such a festive space like the pastor's. They were all there, resting after the heat and fatigue, dressed in their best gala outfits. The table was laid out with "Dicker-milch," potato salad, cakes of various shapes and kinds—all the delicate treats loved by the German palate. The pastor was chatting with Herr Müller, who was standing near the lovely young Fräulein Anna, dressed in her crisp white chemisette, with her round white arms and youthful, flirty demeanor as she got ready to serve coffee; our Fräulein was busy talking to Frau Mama, while the younger boys and girls of the family filled the room. A ghost would have startled the gathering less than I did, and probably would have been more welcome, considering the news I was delivering. As he listened, the pastor grabbed his hat and left without a word or farewell. Our Fräulein made up for both and questioned me thoroughly; but I could see she was eager to go, though she held herself back with good manners, and the kind-hearted Frau Pastorin soon gave her the freedom to follow her inclination. As for me, I was completely worn out and glad to accept the hospitable couple's insistence that I stay and share their meal. Other important figures from the village arrived soon after, relieving me of the pressure of making small talk in German with complete strangers. Fräulein's expression darkened a bit at Herr Müller's sudden departure, but she quickly brightened up, playfully chasing and scolding her brothers as they snatched treats from her table. Once I had rested and refreshed myself, I said my goodbyes; I, too, had my own quiet worries about the sadness in the Müller family.

The only person I could see at the "Halbmond" was Lottchen; every one else was busy about the poor little Max, who was passing from one fit into another. I told Lottchen to ask the doctor to come in and see me before he took his leave for the night, and tired as I was, I kept up till after his visit, though it was very late before he came; I could see from his face how anxious he was. He would give me no opinion as to the child's chances of recovery, from which I guessed that he had not much hope. But when I expressed my fear he cut me very short.

The only person I could see at the "Halbmond" was Lottchen; everyone else was focused on poor little Max, who was going in and out of fits. I told Lottchen to ask the doctor to come in and see me before he left for the night, and even though I was really tired, I stayed up until after his visit, even though it was quite late when he finally arrived; I could tell from his expression how worried he was. He wouldn’t share his thoughts on the child’s chances of recovery, which made me think he didn’t have much hope. But when I mentioned my concerns, he cut me off quite abruptly.

"The truth is, you know nothing about it; no more do I, for that matter. It is enough to try any man, much less a father, to hear his perpetual moans—not that he is conscious of pain, poor little worm; but if she stops for a moment in her perpetual carrying him backwards and forwards, he plains so piteously it is enough to—enough to make a man bless the Lord who never led him into the pit of matrimony. To see the father up there, following her as she walks up and down the room, the child's head over her shoulder, and Müller trying to make the heavy eyes recognize the old familiar ways of play, and the chirruping sounds which he can scarce make for crying——I shall be here to-morrow early, though before that either life or death will have come without the old doctor's help."

"The truth is, you know nothing about it; same goes for me. It’s hard on any man, let alone a father, to hear his constant whimpers—not that he feels pain, poor little thing; but if she stops for just a moment in her endless rocking, he cries out so sadly that it’s enough to make a man thank the Lord for not leading him into the trap of marriage. To see the father up there, following her as she walks back and forth in the room, the child's head resting on her shoulder, and Müller trying to get the heavy-lidded eyes to remember the old familiar games, and the chirping sounds he can barely manage through his tears——I’ll be here tomorrow morning, though before then either life or death will have come without the old doctor’s help."

All night long I dreamt my feverish dream—of the vineyard—the carts, which held little coffins instead of baskets of grapes—of the pastor's daughter, who would pull the dying child out of Thekla's arms; it was a bad, weary night! I slept long into the morning; the broad daylight filled my room, and yet no one had been near to waken me! Did that mean life or death? I got up and dressed as fast as I could; for I was aching all over with the fatigue of the day before. Out into the sitting-room; the table was laid for breakfast, but no one was there. I passed into the house beyond, up the stairs, blindly seeking for the room where I might know whether it was life or death. At the door of a room I found Lottchen crying; at the sight of me in that unwonted place she started, and began some kind of apology, broken both by tears and smiles, as she told me that the doctor said the danger was over—past, and that Max was sleeping a gentle peaceful slumber in Thekla's arms—arms that had held him all through the livelong night.

All night long, I was haunted by a feverish dream about the vineyard—the carts that carried little coffins instead of baskets of grapes—about the pastor's daughter, who would pull the dying child out of Thekla's arms; it was such a rough, exhausting night! I slept late into the morning; the bright sunlight filled my room, and yet no one had come to wake me up! Did that mean life or death? I got up and dressed as quickly as I could because my body ached all over from the fatigue of the day before. I went into the sitting room; the table was set for breakfast, but no one was there. I moved into the house beyond, climbed the stairs, blindly searching for the room where I could find out whether it was life or death. At the door of a room, I found Lottchen crying; at the sight of me in that unusual place, she jumped and started to apologize, her words mixed with both tears and smiles, as she told me that the doctor said the danger was over—behind us, and that Max was peacefully sleeping in Thekla's arms—arms that had held him all through the long night.

"Look at him, sir; only go in softly; it is a pleasure to see the child to-day; tread softly, sir."

"Look at him, sir; just go in quietly; it's a joy to see the child today; walk softly, sir."

She opened the chamber-door. I could see Thekla sitting, propped up by cushions and stools, holding her heavy burden, and bending over him with a look of tenderest love. Not far off stood the Fräulein, all disordered and tearful, stirring or seasoning some hot soup, while the master stood by her impatient. As soon as it was cooled or seasoned enough he took the basin and went to Thekla, and said something very low; she lifted up her head, and I could see her face; pale, weary with watching, but with a soft peaceful look upon it, which it had not worn for weeks. Fritz Müller began to feed her, for her hands were occupied in holding his child; I could not help remembering Mrs. Inchbald's pretty description of Dorriforth's anxiety in feeding Miss Milner; she compares it, if I remember rightly, to that of a tender-hearted boy, caring for his darling bird, the loss of which would embitter all the joys of his holidays. We closed the door without noise, so as not to waken the sleeping child. Lottchen brought me my coffee and bread; she was ready either to laugh or to weep on the slightest occasion. I could not tell if it was in innocence or mischief. She asked me the following question,—

She opened the chamber door. I could see Thekla sitting, propped up by cushions and stools, holding her heavy burden and leaning over him with the most tender look of love. Not far away stood the Fräulein, looking disheveled and tearful, stirring or seasoning some hot soup, while the master stood next to her, impatient. As soon as it was cool or seasoned enough, he took the basin and went to Thekla, saying something softly; she lifted her head, and I could see her face; pale and tired from watching, but with a soft, peaceful expression on it that she hadn’t had for weeks. Fritz Müller started to feed her since her hands were busy holding his child; I couldn’t help but remember Mrs. Inchbald’s lovely description of Dorriforth's anxiety while feeding Miss Milner; she compares it, if I remember correctly, to that of a tender-hearted boy caring for his beloved bird, the loss of which would sour all his holiday joys. We closed the door quietly, so we wouldn’t wake the sleeping child. Lottchen brought me my coffee and bread; she was ready to either laugh or cry at the slightest thing. I couldn’t tell if it was out of innocence or mischief. She asked me the following question,—

"Do you think Thekla will leave to-day, sir?"

"Do you think Thekla will leave today, sir?"

In the afternoon I heard Thekla's step behind my extemporary screen. I knew it quite well. She stopped for a moment before emerging into my view.

In the afternoon, I heard Thekla's footsteps behind my makeshift divider. I recognized them instantly. She paused for a moment before stepping into my line of sight.

She was trying to look as composed as usual, but, perhaps because her steady nerves had been shaken by her night's watching, she could not help faint touches of dimples at the corners of her mouth, and her eyes were veiled from any inquisitive look by their drooping lids.

She was trying to appear as calm as usual, but, maybe because her nerves had been rattled from staying up all night, she couldn't help but have slight dimples at the corners of her mouth, and her eyes were shielded from any prying gaze by their heavy eyelids.

"I thought you would like to know that the doctor says Max is quite out of danger now. He will only require care."

"I thought you’d want to know that the doctor says Max is out of danger now. He just needs some care."

"Thank you, Thekla; Doctor —— has been in already this afternoon to tell me so, and I am truly glad."

"Thank you, Thekla; Doctor Understood. Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize. has already been in this afternoon to tell me that, and I'm really glad."

She went to the window, and looked out for a moment. Many people were in the vineyards again to-day; although we, in our household anxiety, had paid them but little heed. Suddenly she turned round into the room, and I saw that her face was crimson with blushes. In another instant Herr Müller entered by the window.

She walked to the window and looked outside for a moment. Many people were back in the vineyards today; even though we, caught up in our household worries, had barely noticed them. Suddenly, she turned around into the room, and I saw that her face was bright red with embarrassment. Just then, Herr Müller came in through the window.

"Has she told you, sir?" said he, possessing himself of her hand, and looking all a-glow with happiness. "Hast thou told our good friend?" addressing her.

"Has she told you, sir?" he asked, taking her hand and looking completely happy. "Have you told our good friend?" he said to her.

"No. I was going to tell him, but I did not know how to begin."

"No. I wanted to tell him, but I didn't know how to start."

"Then I will prompt thee. Say after me—'I have been a wilful, foolish woman——'"

"Then I'll prompt you. Repeat after me—'I've been a stubborn, foolish womanUnderstood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.'"

She wrenched her hand out of his, half-laughing—"I am a foolish woman, for I have promised to marry him. But he is a still more foolish man, for he wishes to marry me. That is what I say."

She yanked her hand away from his, half-laughing—"I’m a silly woman because I’ve promised to marry him. But he’s an even sillier man because he wants to marry me. That’s what I think."

"And I have sent Babette to Frankfort with the pastor. He is going there, and will explain all to Frau v. Schmidt; and Babette will serve her for a time. When Max is well enough to have the change of air the doctor prescribes for him, thou shalt take him to Altenahr, and thither will I also go; and become known to thy people and thy father. And before Christmas the gentleman here shall dance at our wedding."

"And I’ve sent Babette to Frankfurt with the pastor. He’s going there and will explain everything to Frau v. Schmidt; and Babette will help her for a while. When Max is well enough to take the change of air that the doctor recommends for him, you’ll take him to Altenahr, and I’ll go there too; and I’ll meet your people and your father. And before Christmas, the gentleman here will dance at our wedding."

"I must go home to England, dear friends, before many days are over. Perhaps we may travel together as far as Remagen. Another year I will come back to Heppenheim and see you."

"I have to go back home to England, dear friends, before too long. Maybe we can travel together as far as Remagen. I'll return to Heppenheim and see you again next year."

As I planned it, so it was. We left Heppenheim all together on a lovely All-Saints' Day. The day before—the day of All-Souls—I had watched Fritz and Thekla lead little Lina up to the Acre of God, the Field of Rest, to hang the wreath of immortelles on her mother's grave. Peace be with the dead and the living.

As I planned, so it happened. We all left Heppenheim together on a beautiful All-Saints' Day. The day before—on All-Souls’ Day—I saw Fritz and Thekla take little Lina to the Acre of God, the Field of Rest, to hang the wreath of immortelles on her mother's grave. Peace be with the dead and the living.

 


 

 

LIBBIE MARSH'S THREE ERAS.

 

ERA I.

VALENTINE'S DAY.

Last November but one, there was a flitting in our neighbourhood; hardly a flitting, after all, for it was only a single person changing her place of abode from one lodging to another; and instead of a cartload of drawers and baskets, dressers and beds, with old king clock at the top of all, it was only one large wooden chest to be carried after the girl, who moved slowly and heavily along the streets, listless and depressed, more from the state of her mind than of her body. It was Libbie Marsh, who had been obliged to quit her room in Dean Street, because the acquaintances whom she had been living with were leaving Manchester. She tried to think herself fortunate in having met with lodgings rather more out of the town, and with those who were known to be respectable; she did indeed try to be contented, but in spite of her reason, the old feeling of desolation came over her, as she was now about to be thrown again entirely among strangers.

Last November, there was a moving in our neighborhood; but it wasn’t much of a move, really, since it was just one person changing her home from one place to another. Instead of a cartload filled with drawers, baskets, dressers, and beds—with an old grandfather clock on top—it was just one large wooden chest being carried by the girl, who walked slowly and heavily down the streets, feeling drained and downcast, more because of her mental state than her physical condition. It was Libbie Marsh, who had to leave her room on Dean Street because the people she had been living with were leaving Manchester. She tried to convince herself that it was good luck to find accommodations a bit further out of town, with people known to be respectable. She really did try to feel satisfied, but despite her reasoning, the familiar sense of loneliness washed over her as she faced being surrounded by strangers once again.

No. 2, —— Court, Albemarle Street, was reached at last, and the pace, slow as it was, slackened as she drew near the spot where she was to be left by the man who carried her box, for, trivial as her acquaintance with him was, he was not quite a stranger, as every one else was, peering out of their open doors, and satisfying themselves it was only "Dixon's new lodger."

No. 2, Understood. Please provide the text you would like to modernize. Court, Albemarle Street, was finally reached, and even though the pace was slow, it slowed down more as she got closer to the place where the man carrying her box would leave her. Although her relationship with him was minimal, he wasn’t a total stranger like everyone else, who were watching her from their open doors, confirming to themselves that it was just "Dixon's new lodger."

Dixon's house was the last on the left-hand side of the court. A high dead brick wall connected it with its opposite neighbour. All the dwellings were of the same monotonous pattern, and one side of the court looked at its exact likeness opposite, as if it were seeing itself in a looking-glass.

Dixon's house was the last one on the left side of the court. A tall, solid brick wall linked it to the house across the street. All the homes were built in the same boring design, and one side of the court mirrored the other, as if it was looking in a mirror.

Dixon's house was shut up, and the key left next door; but the woman in whose charge it was left knew that Libbie was expected, and came forward to say a few explanatory words, to unlock the door, and stir the dull grey ashes that were lazily burning in the grate: and then she returned to her own house, leaving poor Libbie standing alone with the great big chest in the middle of the house-place floor, with no one to say a word to (even a common-place remark would have been better than this dull silence), that could help her to repel the fast-coming tears.

Dixon's house was locked up, and the key was left next door; but the woman responsible for it knew that Libbie was expected, so she stepped forward to say a few explanatory words, unlock the door, and stir the dull gray ashes that were lazily burning in the fireplace. After that, she went back to her own house, leaving poor Libbie standing alone with the big chest in the middle of the living room floor, with no one to talk to (even a typical comment would have been better than this heavy silence) that could help her hold back the tears that were quickly welling up.

Dixon and his wife, and their eldest girl, worked in factories, and were absent all day from the house: the youngest child, also a little girl, was boarded out on the week-days at the neighbour's where the door-key was deposited, but although busy making dirt-pies, at the entrance to the court, when Libbie came in, she was too young to care much about her parents' new lodger. Libbie knew that she was to sleep with the elder girl in the front bedroom, but, as you may fancy, it seemed a liberty even to go upstairs to take off her things, when no one was at home to marshal the way up the ladder-like steps. So she could only take off her bonnet, and sit down, and gaze at the now blazing fire, and think sadly on the past, and on the lonely creature she was in this wide world—father and mother gone, her little brother long since dead—he would have been more than nineteen had he been alive, but she only thought of him as the darling baby; her only friends (to call friends) living far away at their new house; her employers, kind enough people in their way, but too rapidly twirling round on this bustling earth to have leisure to think of the little work-woman, excepting when they wanted gowns turned, carpets mended, or household linen darned; and hardly even the natural though hidden hope of a young girl's heart, to cheer her on with the bright visions of a home of her own at some future day, where, loving and beloved, she might fulfil a woman's dearest duties.

Dixon and his wife, along with their oldest daughter, worked in factories and were out of the house all day. Their youngest child, another little girl, stayed with a neighbor during the weekdays, where the house key was kept. Although she was busy making dirt pies at the entrance to the court, when Libbie arrived, she was too young to pay much attention to her parents' new lodger. Libbie knew she was supposed to share a bedroom with the older girl in the front of the house, but as you can imagine, it felt like a big deal even to go upstairs and take off her things when no one was home to guide her up the steep steps. So, she could only remove her bonnet, sit down, and stare at the now roaring fire, reflecting sadly on the past and how lonely she felt in this vast world—her parents gone, her little brother long dead—he would have been over nineteen if he were alive, but she still thought of him as her sweet baby; her only friends—if you could call them that—were far away in their new house; her employers, kind enough in their own way, but too caught up in their busy lives to think about the little worker, except when they needed dresses altered, carpets repaired, or household linens mended. And she hardly even felt the natural, though hidden, hope in a young girl’s heart that would encourage her with bright dreams of having her own home one day, where she could love and be loved and fulfill a woman’s most cherished duties.

For Libbie was very plain, as she had known so long that the consciousness of it had ceased to mortify her. You can hardly live in Manchester without having some idea of your personal appearance: the factory lads and lasses take good care of that; and if you meet them at the hours when they are pouring out of the mills, you are sure to hear a good number of truths, some of them combined with such a spirit of impudent fun, that you can scarcely keep from laughing, even at the joke against yourself. Libbie had often and often been greeted by such questions as—"How long is it since you were a beauty?"—"What would you take a day to stand in the fields to scare away the birds?" &c., for her to linger under any impression as to her looks.

For Libbie was very plain, and she had known it for so long that it no longer bothered her. You can hardly live in Manchester without being aware of your appearance: the factory boys and girls make sure of that; and if you meet them as they’re pouring out of the mills, you’re bound to hear some blunt truths, a lot of which come with such a cheeky humor that you can hardly help but laugh, even if it’s at your own expense. Libbie had frequently been met with questions like—"How long has it been since you were a beauty?"—"How much would you charge for standing in a field to scare away the birds?" etc., so she couldn’t possibly cling to any illusion about her looks.

While she was thus musing, and quietly crying, under the pictures her fancy had conjured up, the Dixons came dropping in, and surprised her with her wet cheeks and quivering lips.

While she was lost in thought and quietly crying under the pictures her imagination had created, the Dixons unexpectedly arrived and caught her with her tear-stained cheeks and trembling lips.

She almost wished to have the stillness again that had so oppressed her an hour ago, they talked and laughed so loudly and so much, and bustled about so noisily over everything they did. Dixon took hold of one iron handle of her box, and helped her to bump it upstairs, while his daughter Anne followed to see the unpacking, and what sort of clothes "little sewing body had gotten." Mrs. Dixon rattled out her tea-things, and put the kettle on, fetched home her youngest child, which added to the commotion. Then she called Anne downstairs, and sent her for this thing and that: eggs to put to the cream, it was so thin; ham, to give a relish to the bread and butter; some new bread, hot, if she could get it. Libbie heard all these orders, given at full pitch of Mrs. Dixon's voice, and wondered at their extravagance, so different from the habits of the place where she had last lodged. But they were fine spinners, in the receipt of good wages; and confined all day in an atmosphere ranging from seventy-five to eighty degrees. They had lost all natural, healthy appetite for simple food, and, having no higher tastes, found their greatest enjoyment in their luxurious meals.

She almost wished for the quietness she had felt an hour ago; they were talking and laughing so loudly and moving around so noisily while doing everything. Dixon grabbed one iron handle of her box and helped her bump it up the stairs, while his daughter Anne followed to see the unpacking and what kind of clothes "the little sewing body had gotten." Mrs. Dixon clanked out her tea things, put the kettle on, and picked up her youngest child, which added to the chaos. Then she called Anne downstairs and sent her for this and that: eggs to add to the cream, which was too thin; ham, to make the bread and butter more flavorful; and some fresh, hot bread, if she could find it. Libbie heard all these orders, shouted at the top of Mrs. Dixon's voice, and was amazed at their extravagance, which was so different from the habits of the place where she had last stayed. But they were good workers, earning decent wages, and spent all day in a warm environment, ranging from seventy-five to eighty degrees. They had lost any natural, healthy appetite for simple food and, lacking refined tastes, found their greatest pleasure in their extravagant meals.

When tea was ready, Libbie was called downstairs, with a rough but hearty invitation, to share their meal; she sat mutely at the corner of the tea-table, while they went on with their own conversation about people and things she knew nothing about, till at length she ventured to ask for a candle, to go and finish her unpacking before bedtime, as she had to go out sewing for several succeeding days. But once in the comparative peace of her bedroom, her energy failed her, and she contented herself with locking her Noah's ark of a chest, and put out her candle, and went to sit by the window, and gaze out at the bright heavens; for ever and ever "the blue sky, that bends over all," sheds down a feeling of sympathy with the sorrowful at the solemn hours when the ceaseless stars are seen to pace its depths.

When tea was ready, Libbie was called downstairs with a rough but warm invitation to join their meal. She sat quietly in the corner of the tea table while they continued their conversation about people and things she didn’t know anything about. Eventually, she asked for a candle so she could finish unpacking before bed, since she had to go out sewing for the next few days. But once in the relative peace of her bedroom, her energy left her. She settled for locking her chest, put out her candle, and sat by the window, gazing at the bright sky. Forever and ever, "the blue sky, that bends over all," brings a sense of sympathy to the sorrowful during the solemn hours when the endless stars can be seen moving across its depths.

By-and-by her eye fell down to gazing at the corresponding window to her own, on the opposite side of the court. It was lighted, but the blind was drawn down: upon the blind she saw, first unconsciously, the constant weary motion of a little spectral shadow, a child's hand and arm—no more; long, thin fingers hanging down from the wrist, while the arm moved up and down, as if keeping time to the heavy pulses of dull pain. She could not help hoping that sleep would soon come to still that incessant, feeble motion: and now and then it did cease, as if the little creature had dropped into a slumber from very weariness; but presently the arm jerked up with the fingers clenched, as if with a sudden start of agony. When Anne came up to bed, Libbie was still sitting, watching the shadow, and she directly asked to whom it belonged.

Eventually, her gaze shifted to the window opposite hers across the courtyard. It was lit, but the blind was drawn down: on the blind, she first noticed, almost absentmindedly, the constant, tired motion of a little shadow, a child's hand and arm—nothing more; long, thin fingers hanging down from the wrist, while the arm moved up and down, as if in rhythm with the heavy beats of dull pain. She couldn't help but hope that sleep would soon come to stop that relentless, feeble motion: and every now and then it did stop, as if the little one had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion; but soon after, the arm jerked up with the fingers clenched, as if suddenly seized by agony. When Anne came up to bed, Libbie was still sitting, watching the shadow, and she immediately asked whose it was.

"It will be Margaret Hall's lad. Last summer, when it was so hot, there was no biding with the window shut at night, and theirs was open too: and many's the time he has waked me with his moans; they say he's been better sin' cold weather came."

"It will be Margaret Hall's boy. Last summer, when it was so hot, there was no way to stay with the window shut at night, and theirs was open too: and many times he has woken me with his moans; they say he's been better since the cold weather came."

"Is he always in bed? Whatten ails him?" asked Libbie.

"Is he always in bed? What's wrong with him?" asked Libbie.

"Summat's amiss wi' his backbone, folks say; he's better and worse, like. He's a nice little chap enough, and his mother's not that bad either; only my mother and her had words, so now we don't speak."

"Something's wrong with his backbone, people say; he's good and bad, like. He's a nice little guy, and his mom's not that bad either; it's just that my mom and her had an argument, so now we don’t talk."

Libbie went on watching, and when she next spoke, to ask who and what his mother was, Anne Dixon was fast asleep.

Libbie kept watching, and when she finally spoke again to ask who his mother was and what she was like, Anne Dixon was fast asleep.

Time passed away, and as usual unveiled the hidden things. Libbie found out that Margaret Hall was a widow, who earned her living as a washerwoman; that the little suffering lad was her only child, her dearly beloved. That while she scolded, pretty nearly, everybody else, "till her name was up" in the neighbourhood for a termagant, to him she was evidently most tender and gentle. He lay alone on his little bed, near the window, through the day, while she was away toiling for a livelihood. But when Libbie had plain sewing to do at her lodgings, instead of going out to sew, she used to watch from her bedroom window for the time when the shadows opposite, by their mute gestures, told that the mother had returned to bend over her child, to smooth his pillow, to alter his position, to get him his nightly cup of tea. And often in the night Libbie could not help rising gently from bed, to see if the little arm was waving up and down, as was his accustomed habit when sleepless from pain.

Time went by, and as usual, revealed hidden truths. Libbie discovered that Margaret Hall was a widow who supported herself by working as a washerwoman; the little suffering boy was her only child, her dearly beloved. While she often scolded nearly everyone else, earning a reputation in the neighborhood as a difficult person, she was clearly very tender and gentle with him. He laid alone on his little bed by the window during the day while she was out working hard to make a living. But when Libbie had plain sewing to do at her lodgings, instead of going out, she would watch from her bedroom window for the moment when the shadows outside revealed that the mother had come back to lean over her child, to smooth his pillow, to change his position, to bring him his nightly cup of tea. Often at night, Libbie found herself gently getting out of bed to see if the little arm was waving up and down, as was his usual routine when he couldn't sleep due to pain.

Libbie had a good deal of sewing to do at home that winter, and whenever it was not so cold as to benumb her fingers, she took it upstairs, in order to watch the little lad in her few odd moments of pause. On his better days he could sit up enough to peep out of his window, and she found he liked to look at her. Presently she ventured to nod to him across the court; and his faint smile, and ready nod back again, showed that this gave him pleasure. I think she would have been encouraged by this smile to have proceeded to a speaking acquaintance, if it had not been for his terrible mother, to whom it seemed to be irritation enough to know that Libbie was a lodger at the Dixons' for her to talk at her whenever they encountered each other, and to live evidently in wait for some good opportunity of abuse.

Libbie had a lot of sewing to do at home that winter, and whenever it wasn't too cold to numb her fingers, she took it upstairs to keep an eye on the little boy during her brief moments of break. On his better days, he could sit up enough to peek out the window, and she noticed that he enjoyed watching her. Soon, she took the chance to nod to him across the courtyard; his faint smile and eager nod in return showed it made him happy. I think she would have felt encouraged by his smile to start a conversation if it weren't for his awful mother, who seemed irritated just knowing that Libbie was a lodger at the Dixons'. Every time they crossed paths, she would talk at her, clearly waiting for a chance to hurl some insults.

With her constant interest in him, Libbie soon discovered his great want of an object on which to occupy his thoughts, and which might distract his attention, when alone through the long day, from the pain he endured. He was very fond of flowers. It was November when she had first removed to her lodgings, but it had been very mild weather, and a few flowers yet lingered in the gardens, which the country people gathered into nosegays, and brought on market-days into Manchester. His mother had brought him a bunch of Michaelmas daisies the very day Libbie had become a neighbour, and she watched their history. He put them first in an old teapot, of which the spout was broken off and the lid lost; and he daily replenished the teapot from the jug of water his mother left near him to quench his feverish thirst. By-and-by, one or two of the constellation of lilac stars faded, and then the time he had hitherto spent in admiring, almost caressing them, was devoted to cutting off those flowers whose decay marred the beauty of the nosegay. It took him half the morning, with his feeble, languid motions, and his cumbrous old scissors, to trim up his diminished darlings. Then at last he seemed to think he had better preserve the few that remained by drying them; so they were carefully put between the leaves of the old Bible; and then, whenever a better day came, when he had strength enough to lift the ponderous book, he used to open the pages to look at his flower friends. In winter he could have no more living flowers to tend.

With her constant interest in him, Libbie soon realized that he had a strong need for something to focus on and distract him from the pain he felt during the long, lonely days. He really loved flowers. It was November when she first moved into her place, but the weather had been quite mild, and a few flowers were still blooming in the gardens, which the locals picked and sold at the markets in Manchester. His mother had given him a bouquet of Michaelmas daisies on the very day Libbie became his neighbor, and she kept an eye on them as they changed. He first put them in an old teapot, which had a broken spout and a missing lid, and he made sure to refill the teapot daily from the jug of water his mother left nearby to quench his thirst. Eventually, one or two of the lilac stars wilted, and instead of admiring them, he began spending his time cutting off the flowers that were dying and ruining the bouquet's beauty. It took him half the morning, with his weak, tired movements and his awkward old scissors, to tidy up his beloved flowers. Then he decided it would be better to preserve the few he had left by drying them, so he carefully placed them between the pages of the old Bible. Whenever a nice day came and he had enough strength to lift the heavy book, he would open the pages to check on his flower friends. In winter, he couldn’t take care of any living flowers anymore.

Libbie thought and thought, till at last an idea flashed upon her mind, that often made a happy smile steal over her face as she stitched away, and that cheered her through the solitary winter—for solitary it continued to be, though the Dixons were very good sort of people, never pressed her for payment, if she had had but little work to do that week; never grudged her a share of their extravagant meals, which were far more luxurious than she could have met with anywhere else, for her previously agreed payment in case of working at home; and they would fain have taught her to drink rum in her tea, assuring her that she should have it for nothing and welcome. But they were too touchy, too prosperous, too much absorbed in themselves, to take off Libbie's feeling of solitariness; not half as much as the little face by day, and the shadow by night, of him with whom she had never yet exchanged a word.

Libbie thought and thought until finally an idea popped into her mind, often bringing a happy smile to her face as she sewed away, and it kept her spirits up through the lonely winter—lonely it still was, even though the Dixons were very nice people, never pushing her for payment when she had little work to do that week; they never held back from sharing their lavish meals, which were way more extravagant than anything she could find elsewhere, given her previously agreed payment for working at home; and they eagerly tried to teach her to drink rum in her tea, promising it would be on the house. But they were too sensitive, too well-off, too wrapped up in their own lives to lift Libbie's sense of loneliness; not nearly as much as the little face in the daytime and the shadow at night of the person with whom she had never exchanged a word.

Her idea was this: her mother came from the east of England, where, as perhaps you know, they have the pretty custom of sending presents on St. Valentine's day, with the donor's name unknown, and, of course, the mystery constitutes half the enjoyment. The fourteenth of February was Libbie's birthday too, and many a year, in the happy days of old, had her mother delighted to surprise her with some little gift, of which she more than half-guessed the giver, although each Valentine's day the manner of its arrival was varied. Since then the fourteenth of February had been the dreariest of all the year, because the most haunted by memory of departed happiness. But now, this year, if she could not have the old gladness of heart herself, she would try and brighten the life of another. She would save, and she would screw, but she would buy a canary and a cage for that poor little laddie opposite, who wore out his monotonous life with so few pleasures, and so much pain.

Her idea was this: her mother came from the east of England, where, as you might know, they have the lovely tradition of sending presents on St. Valentine's Day, with the sender's name unknown, and, of course, the mystery makes up half the fun. The fourteenth of February was also Libbie's birthday, and many years, in the happy days of the past, her mother loved to surprise her with a small gift, of which she almost always guessed the giver, even though each Valentine's Day the way it arrived was different. Since then, the fourteenth of February had been the saddest day of the year, haunted by memories of lost happiness. But now, this year, if she couldn't have that old joy in her heart, she would try to bring some brightness to someone else's life. She would save up, and she would be thrifty, but she would buy a canary and a cage for that poor little boy across the street, who spent his dull life with so few pleasures and so much pain.

I doubt I may not tell you here of the anxieties and the fears, of the hopes and the self-sacrifices—all, perhaps small in the tangible effect as the widow's mite, yet not the less marked by the viewless angels who go about continually among us—which varied Libbie's life before she accomplished her purpose. It is enough to say it was accomplished. The very day before the fourteenth she found time to go with her half-guinea to a barber's who lived near Albemarle Street, and who was famous for his stock of singing-birds. There are enthusiasts about all sorts of things, both good and bad, and many of the weavers in Manchester know and care more about birds than any one would easily credit. Stubborn, silent, reserved men on many things, you have only to touch on the subject of birds to light up their faces with brightness. They will tell you who won the prizes at the last canary show, where the prize birds may be seen, and give you all the details of those funny, but pretty and interesting mimicries of great people's cattle shows. Among these amateurs, Emanuel Morris the barber was an oracle.

I doubt I can really convey to you the worries and fears, the hopes and sacrifices—all perhaps as small in their tangible effects as the widow's mite, yet still significant to the unseen angels who are always around us—that shaped Libbie's life before she achieved her goal. It’s enough to say she succeeded. The very day before the fourteenth, she managed to go with her half-guinea to a barber's near Albemarle Street, who was well-known for his collection of singing birds. There are enthusiasts for many things, both good and bad, and many weavers in Manchester know and care more about birds than anyone might expect. Stubborn, quiet, reserved on many topics, you just have to mention birds to see their faces light up. They’ll tell you who won the last canary show, where to find the prize birds, and share all the details about those amusing, yet beautiful and fascinating mimicries of major cattle shows. Among these hobbyists, Emanuel Morris the barber was a true authority.

He took Libbie into his little back room, used for private shaving of modest men, who did not care to be exhibited in the front shop decked out in the full glories of lather; and which was hung round with birds in rude wicker cages, with the exception of those who had won prizes, and were consequently honoured with gilt-wire prisons. The longer and thinner the body of the bird was, the more admiration it received, as far as external beauty went; and when, in addition to this, the colour was deep and clear, and its notes strong and varied, the more did Emanuel dwell upon its perfections. But these were all prize birds; and, on inquiry, Libbie heard, with some little sinking at heart, that their price ran from one to two guineas.

He took Libbie into his small back room, which was used for the private grooming of modest men who didn’t want to be seen in the main shop covered in lather; the room was decorated with birds in rough wicker cages, except for the ones that had won prizes, which were kept in fancy gilt-wire cages. The longer and thinner the bird, the more it was admired for its looks; and when the bird was also vibrant in color and had strong, varied songs, Emanuel couldn't help but focus on its perfection. But these were all prize birds; and when Libbie asked about them, she felt a bit disappointed to learn that their prices ranged from one to two guineas.

"I'm not over-particular as to shape and colour," said she, "I should like a good singer, that's all!"

"I'm not that picky about shape and color," she said, "I just want a good singer, that's all!"

She dropped a little in Emanuel's estimation. However, he showed her his good singers, but all were above Libbie's means.

She fell a bit in Emanuel's opinion. However, he showed her his talented singers, but all were beyond Libbie's budget.

"After all, I don't think I care so much about the singing very loud; it's but a noise after all, and sometimes noise fidgets folks."

"Honestly, I don't think I really mind the singing being so loud; it's just noise in the end, and sometimes noise can make people restless."

"They must be nesh folks as is put out with the singing o' birds," replied Emanuel, rather affronted.

"They must be soft folks who are easily swayed by the singing of birds," replied Emanuel, somewhat offended.

"It's for one who is poorly," said Libbie, deprecatingly.

"It's for someone who is not well," said Libbie, dismissively.

"Well," said he, as if considering the matter, "folk that are cranky, often take more to them as shows 'em love, than to them as is clever and gifted. Happen yo'd rather have this'n," opening a cage-door, and calling to a dull-coloured bird, sitting moped up in a corner, "Here—Jupiter, Jupiter!"

"Well," he said, as if thinking it over, "people who are irritable often respond better to those who show them love than to those who are smart and talented. Maybe you’d prefer this one," he said, opening a cage door and calling to a dull-colored bird sitting dejectedly in a corner, "Hey—Jupiter, Jupiter!"

The bird smoothed its feathers in an instant, and, uttering a little note of delight, flew to Emanuel, putting his beak to his lips, as if kissing him, and then, perching on his head, it began a gurgling warble of pleasure, not by any means so varied or so clear as the song of the others, but which pleased Libbie more; for she was always one to find out she liked the gooseberries that were accessible, better than the grapes that were beyond her reach. The price too was just right, so she gladly took possession of the cage, and hid it under her cloak, preparatory to carrying it home. Emanuel meanwhile was giving her directions as to its food, with all the minuteness of one loving his subject.

The bird quickly smoothed its feathers and, letting out a little sound of joy, flew over to Emanuel, pressing its beak to his lips, almost like it was kissing him. Then, it perched on his head and started a joyful, gurgling song. It wasn’t as varied or clear as the songs of the other birds, but Libbie liked it more; she always preferred the gooseberries that were within reach over the grapes that were too high to get to. The price was perfect too, so she happily took the cage and hid it under her cloak to prepare for carrying it home. Meanwhile, Emanuel was giving her detailed instructions on how to care for it, with all the care of someone who truly loves their subject.

"Will it soon get to know any one?" asked she.

"Will it get to know anyone soon?" she asked.

"Give him two days only, and you and he'll be as thick as him and me are now. You've only to open his door, and call him, and he'll follow you round the room; but he'll first kiss you, and then perch on your head. He only wants larning, which I've no time to give him, to do many another accomplishment."

"Just give him two days, and you'll be as close as he and I are now. All you have to do is open his door and call him, and he'll follow you around the room; but first, he'll kiss you and then sit on your head. He just wants to learn, which I don’t have the time to teach him, to pick up many other skills."

"What's his name? I did not rightly catch it."

"What's his name? I didn't quite catch it."

"Jupiter,—it's not common; but the town's o'errun with Bobbies and Dickies, and as my birds are thought a bit out o' the way, I like to have better names for 'em, so I just picked a few out o' my lad's school books. It's just as ready, when you're used to it, to say Jupiter as Dicky."

"Jupiter—it's not usual; but the town's filled with officers and kids, and since my pets are considered a bit unusual, I prefer to give them better names, so I just picked a few from my son's school books. Once you're used to it, it's just as easy to say Jupiter as it is to say Dicky."

"I could bring my tongue round to Peter better; would he answer to Peter?" asked Libbie, now on the point of departing.

"I could get my tongue around Peter better; would he respond to Peter?" asked Libbie, now about to leave.

"Happen he might; but I think he'd come readier to the three syllables."

"Happen he might; but I think he'd be more likely to say the three syllables."

On Valentine's day, Jupiter's cage was decked round with ivy leaves, making quite a pretty wreath on the wicker work; and to one of them was pinned a slip of paper, with these words, written in Libbie's best round hand:—

On Valentine's Day, Jupiter's cage was adorned with ivy leaves, creating a lovely wreath on the wicker; and to one of them was pinned a piece of paper, with these words written in Libbie's neatest handwriting:—

"From your faithful Valentine. Please take notice his name is Peter, and he'll come if you call him, after a bit."

"From your loyal Valentine. Please note that his name is Peter, and he will come if you call him, after a little bit."

But little work did Libbie do that afternoon, she was so engaged in watching for the messenger who was to bear her present to her little valentine, and run away as soon as he had delivered up the canary, and explained to whom it was sent.

But Libbie hardly got any work done that afternoon; she was so focused on waiting for the messenger who would bring her gift to her little valentine and quickly leave after delivering the canary and explaining who it was for.

At last he came; then there was a pause before the woman of the house was at liberty to take it upstairs. Then Libbie saw the little face flush up into a bright colour, the feeble hands tremble with delighted eagerness, the head bent down to try and make out the writing (beyond his power, poor lad, to read), the rapturous turning round of the cage in order to see the canary in every point of view, head, tail, wings, and feet; an intention in which Jupiter, in his uneasiness at being again among strangers, did not second, for he hopped round so, as continually to present a full front to the boy. It was a source of never wearying delight to the little fellow, till daylight closed in; he evidently forgot to wonder who had sent it him, in his gladness at his possession of such a treasure; and when the shadow of his mother darkened on the blind, and the bird had been exhibited, Libbie saw her do what, with all her tenderness, seemed rarely to have entered into her thoughts—she bent down and kissed her boy, in a mother's sympathy with the joy of her child.

At last he arrived; then there was a moment of silence before the woman of the house was free to take it upstairs. Then Libbie saw the little face flush bright red, the weak hands tremble with excited happiness, the head bend down to try and decipher the writing (beyond his ability, poor kid, to read), the ecstatic turning of the cage to view the canary from every angle: head, tail, wings, and feet. This was an effort that Jupiter, feeling uneasy being around strangers again, didn’t help with, as he hopped around to keep facing the boy. It was a constant source of joy for the little guy until night fell; he clearly forgot to wonder who had sent it to him, lost in his happiness at having such a treasure. And when his mother’s shadow crossed the blind and the bird had been shown off, Libbie watched her do something that, despite all her affection, seemed to rarely cross her mind—she bent down and kissed her boy, sharing in the joy of her child.

The canary was placed for the night between the little bed and window; and when Libbie rose once, to take her accustomed peep, she saw the little arm put fondly round the cage, as if embracing his new treasure even in his sleep. How Jupiter slept this first night is quite another thing.

The canary was put for the night between the small bed and the window; and when Libbie got up once to take her usual peek, she saw the little arm gently wrapped around the cage, as if hugging his new treasure even in his sleep. How Jupiter slept this first night is a completely different story.

So ended the first day in Libbie's three eras in last year.

So ended the first day in Libbie's three periods from last year.

 

ERA II.

WHITSUNTIDE.

The brightest, fullest daylight poured down into No. 2, —— Court, Albemarle Street, and the heat, even at the early hour of five, as at the noontide on the June days of many years past.

The brightest, fullest daylight streamed into No. 2, Understood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize. Court, Albemarle Street, and the heat, even at the early hour of five, felt like it did at noon on those June days from many years ago.

The court seemed alive, and merry with voices and laughter. The bedroom windows were open wide, and had been so all night, on account of the heat; and every now and then you might see a head and a pair of shoulders, simply encased in shirt sleeves, popped out, and you might hear the inquiry passed from one to the other,—"Well, Jack, and where art thee bound for?"

The court buzzed with chatter and laughter. The bedroom windows stood wide open all night because of the heat; every now and then, you could see a head and a pair of shoulders poking out, just in shirt sleeves, and you could hear someone asking the other, "Hey, Jack, where are you headed?"

"Dunham!"

"Dunham!"

"Why, what an old-fashioned chap thou be'st. Thy grandad afore thee went to Dunham: but thou wert always a slow coach. I'm off to Alderley,—me and my missis."

"Wow, what an old-fashioned guy you are. Your granddad before you went to Dunham, but you've always been a slowpoke. I'm heading to Alderley—with my wife."

"Ay, that's because there's only thee and thy missis. Wait till thou hast gotten four childer, like me, and thou'lt be glad enough to take 'em to Dunham, oud-fashioned way, for fourpence apiece."

"Yeah, that's because it's just you and your wife. Wait until you have four kids, like me, and you'll be more than happy to take them to Dunham the old-fashioned way for four pence each."

"I'd still go to Alderley; I'd not be bothered with my children; they should keep house at home."

"I'd still go to Alderley; I wouldn't be concerned about my kids; they should take care of the house."

A pair of hands, the person to whom they belonged invisible, boxed his ears on this last speech, in a very spirited, though playful, manner, and the neighbours all laughed at the surprised look of the speaker, at this assault from an unseen foe. The man who had been holding conversation with him cried out,—

A pair of hands, belonging to an unseen person, playfully boxed his ears after his last comment in a lively but lighthearted way, and the neighbors all laughed at the speaker’s surprised expression from this unexpected attack. The man who had been talking to him shouted, —

"Sarved him right, Mrs. Slater: he knows nought about it yet; but when he gets them he'll be as loth to leave the babbies at home on a Whitsuntide as any on us. We shall live to see him in Dunham Park yet, wi' twins in his arms, and another pair on 'em clutching at daddy's coat-tails, let alone your share of youngsters, missis."

"Sarved him right, Mrs. Slater: he doesn’t know anything about it yet; but when he gets kids, he’ll be just as reluctant to leave them at home on Whitsun as any of us. We’ll live to see him in Dunham Park yet, with twins in his arms, and another pair tugging at daddy’s coat-tails, not to mention your share of little ones, missus."

At this moment our friend Libbie appeared at her window, and Mrs. Slater, who had taken her discomfited husband's place, called out,—

At that moment, our friend Libbie showed up at her window, and Mrs. Slater, who had taken her frustrated husband’s place, called out,—

"Elizabeth Marsh, where are Dixons and you bound to?"

"Elizabeth Marsh, where are you and the Dixons headed to?"

"Dixons are not up yet; he said last night he'd take his holiday out in lying in bed. I'm going to the old-fashioned place, Dunham."

"Dixons aren't up yet; he said last night that he’d spend his holiday lying in bed. I'm going to the old-school place, Dunham."

"Thou art never going by thyself, moping!"

"You’re never just sitting around by yourself, feeling sorry for yourself!"

"No. I'm going with Margaret Hall and her lad," replied Libbie, hastily withdrawing from the window, in order to avoid hearing any remarks on the associates she had chosen for her day of pleasure—the scold of the neighbourhood, and her sickly, ailing child!

"No. I'm going with Margaret Hall and her kid," replied Libbie, quickly stepping back from the window to avoid hearing any comments about the people she had chosen to spend her day with—the busybody of the neighborhood and her frail, sickly child!

But Jupiter might have been a dove, and his ivy leaves an olive branch, for the peace he had brought, the happiness he had caused, to three individuals at least. For of course it could not long be a mystery who had sent little Frank Hall his valentine; nor could his mother long entertain her hard manner towards one who had given her child a new pleasure. She was shy, and she was proud, and for some time she struggled against the natural desire of manifesting her gratitude; but one evening, when Libbie was returning home, with a bundle of work half as large as herself, as she dragged herself along through the heated streets, she was overtaken by Margaret Hall, her burden gently pulled from her, and her way home shortened, and her weary spirits soothed and cheered, by the outpourings of Margaret's heart; for the barrier of reserve once broken down, she had much to say, to thank her for days of amusement and happy employment for her lad, to speak of his gratitude, to tell of her hopes and fears,—the hopes and fears that made up the dates of her life. From that time, Libbie lost her awe of the termagant in interest for the mother, whose all was ventured in so frail a bark. From this time, Libbie was a fast friend with both mother and son, planning mitigations for the sorrowful days of the latter as eagerly as poor Margaret Hall, and with far more success. His life had flickered up under the charm and excitement of the last few months. He even seemed strong enough to undertake the journey to Dunham, which Libbie had arranged as a Whitsuntide treat, and for which she and his mother had been hoarding up for several weeks. The canal boat left Knott-mill at six, and it was now past five; so Libbie let herself out very gently, and went across to her friends. She knocked at the door of their lodging-room, and, without waiting for an answer, entered.

But Jupiter could have been a dove, and his ivy leaves an olive branch, for the peace he had brought and the happiness he had given to at least three people. It didn’t take long to figure out who had sent little Frank Hall his valentine; nor could his mother hold on to her tough attitude toward someone who had brought joy to her child for long. She was shy and proud, and for a while, she fought against the natural urge to show her gratitude. But one evening, as Libbie was coming home with a bundle of work half her size, dragging herself through the hot streets, she was stopped by Margaret Hall. Margaret gently took the load from her and shortened her journey home, soothing and cheering her weary spirits with her heartfelt words. Once the barrier of reserve was down, Margaret had so much to say—thankful for the days of fun and happy activities for her son, expressing his gratitude, sharing her hopes and fears—the hopes and fears that made up the milestones of her life. From that moment, Libbie lost her intimidation of the strict mother, now interested in the woman whose entire world was riding on such a fragile situation. From then on, Libbie became a close friend of both mother and son, eagerly brainstorming ways to ease the sad days for Frank just like poor Margaret Hall, but with much more success. His life had reignited under the thrill and excitement of the past few months. He even seemed strong enough to take the trip to Dunham that Libbie had planned as a Whitsun treat, which she and his mother had been saving up for over several weeks. The canal boat was set to leave Knott-mill at six, and it was now past five; so Libbie quietly let herself out and crossed over to her friends' place. She knocked on the door of their room and entered without waiting for an answer.

Franky's face was flushed, and he was trembling with excitement,—partly with pleasure, but partly with some eager wish not yet granted.

Franky's face was red, and he was shaking with excitement—partly from joy, but partly from some eager desire that hadn't been fulfilled yet.

"He wants sore to take Peter with him," said his mother to Libbie, as if referring the matter to her. The boy looked imploringly at her.

"He really wants to take Peter with him," said his mother to Libbie, as if she was asking for her opinion. The boy gazed at her with pleading eyes.

"He would like it, I know; for one thing, he'd miss me sadly, and chirrup for me all day long, he'd be so lonely. I could not be half so happy a-thinking on him, left alone here by himself. Then, Libbie, he's just like a Christian, so fond of flowers and green leaves, and them sort of things. He chirrups to me so when mother brings me a pennyworth of wall-flowers to put round his cage. He would talk if he could, you know; but I can tell what he means quite as one as if he spoke. Do let Peter go, Libbie; I'll carry him in my own arms."

"He would really like it, I know; for one thing, he’d miss me a lot and chirp for me all day long because he’d feel so lonely. I couldn’t be half as happy thinking about him, left here by himself. Then, Libbie, he’s just like a Christian, so fond of flowers and green leaves and those kinds of things. He chirps at me so when mom brings me a penny’s worth of wallflowers to put around his cage. He would talk if he could, you know; but I can understand what he means just as well as if he actually spoke. Please let Peter go, Libbie; I’ll carry him in my own arms."

So Jupiter was allowed to be of the party. Now Libbie had overcome the great difficulty of conveying Franky to the boat, by offering to "slay" for a coach, and the shouts and exclamations of the neighbours told them that their conveyance awaited them at the bottom of the court. His mother carried Franky, light in weight, though heavy in helplessness, and he would hold the cage, believing that he was thus redeeming his pledge, that Peter should be a trouble to no one. Libbie proceeded to arrange the bundle containing their dinner, as a support in the corner of the coach. The neighbours came out with many blunt speeches, and more kindly wishes, and one or two of them would have relieved Margaret of her burden, if she would have allowed it. The presence of that little crippled fellow seemed to obliterate all the angry feelings which had existed between his mother and her neighbours, and which had formed the politics of that little court for many a day.

So Jupiter was allowed to join the group. Now Libbie had tackled the big challenge of getting Franky to the boat by offering to “call” for a coach, and the loud voices of the neighbors signaled that their ride was waiting at the end of the alley. His mother carried Franky, who was light in weight but heavy with helplessness, and he held onto the cage, thinking he was keeping his promise that Peter wouldn’t be a burden to anyone. Libbie started to arrange the bundle with their dinner as a support in the corner of the coach. The neighbors came out with many straightforward comments and more kind wishes, and a few of them would’ve helped Margaret with her load if she had let them. The sight of that little disabled boy seemed to erase all the hard feelings that had been between his mother and the neighbors, which had shaped the dynamics of that little community for a long time.

And now they were fairly off! Franky bit his lips in attempted endurance of the pain the motion caused him; he winced and shrank, until they were fairly on a Macadamized thoroughfare, when he closed his eyes, and seemed desirous of a few minutes' rest. Libbie felt very shy, and very much afraid of being seen by her employers, "set up in a coach!" and so she hid herself in a corner, and made herself as small as possible; while Mrs. Hall had exactly the opposite feeling, and was delighted to stand up, stretching out of the window, and nodding to pretty nearly every one they met or passed on the foot-paths; and they were not a few, for the streets were quite gay, even at that early hour, with parties going to this or that railway station, or to the boats which crowded the canals on this bright holiday week; and almost every one they met seemed to enter into Mrs. Hall's exhilaration of feeling, and had a smile or nod in return. At last she plumped down by Libbie, and exclaimed, "I never was in a coach but once afore, and that was when I was a-going to be married. It's like heaven; and all done over with such beautiful gimp, too!" continued she, admiring the lining of the vehicle. Jupiter did not enjoy it so much.

And now they were really off! Franky bit his lips to endure the pain the movement caused him; he winced and shrank until they reached a paved road, when he closed his eyes, looking for a few minutes' rest. Libbie felt very shy and really afraid of being seen by her bosses, "riding in a coach!" so she tucked herself into a corner, trying to make herself as small as possible. On the other hand, Mrs. Hall felt just the opposite and was excited to stand up, leaning out of the window, and waving to almost everyone they passed on the sidewalks; and there were plenty of people, as the streets were lively even at that early hour, with groups heading to various railway stations or to the boats crowding the canals during this bright holiday week. Almost everyone they encountered seemed to share in Mrs. Hall's joyful spirit, returning her smiles and nods. Finally, she plopped down next to Libbie and exclaimed, "I've only been in a coach once before, and that was when I was getting married. It feels like heaven, and it’s all decorated with such beautiful trim too!" she continued, admiring the interior of the vehicle. Jupiter wasn’t enjoying it as much.

As if the holiday time, the lovely weather, and the "sweet hour of prime" had a genial influence, as no doubt they have, everybody's heart seemed softened towards poor Franky. The driver lifted him out with the tenderness of strength, and bore him carefully down to the boat; the people then made way, and gave him the best seat in their power,—or rather I should call it a couch, for they saw he was weary, and insisted on his lying down,—an attitude he would have been ashamed to assume without the protection of his mother and Libbie, who now appeared, bearing their baskets and carrying Peter.

As if the holiday season, the beautiful weather, and the "sweet hour of prime" had a warm effect, which they certainly did, everyone's heart seemed to soften towards poor Franky. The driver picked him up with a gentle strength and carefully carried him down to the boat; the crowd then stepped aside and offered him the best seat they could find—or rather, I should say a couch, because they noticed he was tired and insisted he lie down—something he would have felt embarrassed to do without the support of his mother and Libbie, who now showed up, carrying their baskets and holding Peter.

Away the boat went, to make room for others, for every conveyance, both by land and water, is in requisition in Whitsun-week, to give the hard-worked crowds the opportunity of enjoying the charms of the country. Even every standing-place in the canal packets was occupied, and as they glided along, the banks were lined with people, who seemed to find it object enough to watch the boats go by, packed close and full with happy beings brimming with anticipations of a day's pleasure. The country through which they passed is as uninteresting as can well be imagined; but still it is the country: and the screams of delight from the children, and the low laughs of pleasure from the parents, at every blossoming tree that trailed its wreath against some cottage wall, or at the tufts of late primroses which lingered in the cool depths of grass along the canal banks, the thorough relish of everything, as if dreading to let the least circumstance of this happy day pass over without its due appreciation, made the time seem all too short, although it took two hours to arrive at a place only eight miles from Manchester. Even Franky, with all his impatience to see Dunham woods (which I think he confused with London, believing both to be paved with gold), enjoyed the easy motion of the boat so much, floating along, while pictures moved before him, that he regretted when the time came for landing among the soft, green meadows, that came sloping down to the dancing water's brim. His fellow-passengers carried him to the park, and refused all payment, although his mother had laid by sixpence on purpose, as a recompense for this service.

Away the boat went, making space for others, as every mode of transportation, both on land and water, was in high demand during Whitsun week, giving the hardworking crowds a chance to enjoy the beauty of the countryside. Every available spot on the canal boats was filled, and as they moved along, the banks were crowded with people who seemed content simply to watch the boats pass by, packed tightly with happy individuals filled with excitement for a day of fun. The countryside they traveled through was as dull as could be imagined; yet it was still the countryside. The joyful screams from the children and the soft laughter from the parents at every flowering tree that brushed against a cottage wall or at the late primroses clinging to the cool grass by the canal banks showed a deep appreciation for everything, as if they feared missing even the smallest detail of this happy day. The journey felt too short, even though it took two hours to reach a spot just eight miles from Manchester. Even Franky, despite his eagerness to see Dunham Woods (which I think he mistook for London, believing both to be paved with gold), enjoyed the gentle motion of the boat so much, drifting along with images unfolding before him, that he felt a twinge of regret when it was time to disembark onto the soft, green meadows sloping down to the shimmering water. His fellow passengers carried him to the park, refusing any payment, even though his mother had saved a sixpence just for this service.

"Oh, Libbie, how beautiful! Oh, mother, mother! is the whole world out of Manchester as beautiful as this? I did not know trees were like this! Such green homes for birds! Look, Peter! would not you like to be there, up among those boughs? But I can't let you go, you know, because you're my little bird brother, and I should be quite lost without you."

"Oh, Libbie, how gorgeous! Oh, Mom, Mom! Is the whole world outside of Manchester as beautiful as this? I had no idea trees could look like this! Such green homes for birds! Look, Peter! Wouldn’t you love to be up there among those branches? But I can't let you go, you know, because you're my little bird brother, and I would be completely lost without you."

They spread a shawl upon the fine mossy turf, at the root of a beech-tree, which made a sort of natural couch, and there they laid him, and bade him rest, in spite of the delight which made him believe himself capable of any exertion. Where he lay,—always holding Jupiter's cage, and often talking to him as to a playfellow,—he was on the verge of a green area, shut in by magnificent trees, in all the glory of their early foliage, before the summer heats had deepened their verdure into one rich, monotonous tint. And hither came party after party; old men and maidens, young men and children,—whole families trooped along after the guiding fathers, who bore the youngest in their arms, or astride upon their backs, while they turned round occasionally to the wives, with whom they shared some fond local remembrance. For years has Dunham Park been the favourite resort of the Manchester work-people; for more years than I can tell; probably ever since "the Duke," by his canals, opened out the system of cheap travelling. Its scenery, too, which presents such a complete contrast to the whirl and turmoil of Manchester; so thoroughly woodland, with its ancestral trees (here and there lightning blanched); its "verdurous walls;" its grassy walks, leading far away into some glade, where you start at the rabbit rustling among the last year's fern, and where the wood-pigeon's call seems the only fitting and accordant sound. Depend upon it, this complete sylvan repose, this accessible quiet, this lapping the soul in green images of the country, forms the most complete contrast to a town's-person, and consequently has over such the greatest power to charm.

They spread a shawl on the soft mossy ground, at the base of a beech tree, creating a kind of natural couch, and there they laid him down, encouraging him to rest, despite the excitement that made him feel he could do anything. As he lay there—always holding Jupiter's cage and often chatting with him like a friend—he was on the edge of a green area, enclosed by magnificent trees, all resplendent in their early leaves, before the summer heat transformed their greenery into a single, rich shade. Groups kept arriving; old men and young women, young men and children—entire families marched along after the fathers, who carried the youngest in their arms or on their backs, occasionally turning back to their wives, sharing some fond local memory. For years, Dunham Park has been a favorite getaway for the workers from Manchester; likely for longer than I can count, probably ever since "the Duke," through his canals, made affordable travel possible. Its scenery, too, offers a complete escape from the chaos of Manchester; it's so genuinely woodland, with its ancient trees (some struck by lightning); its "green walls"; its grassy paths, leading far into a glade, where you might jump at the sound of a rabbit rustling among last year's ferns, and where the wood-pigeon's call seemed like the only appropriate sound. You can count on it—this complete forest tranquility, this accessible peace, this immersion in the green imagery of the countryside, creates the most striking contrast to someone from the city, making it all the more enchanting for them.

Presently Libbie found out she was very hungry. Now they were but provided with dinner, which was, of course, to be eaten as near twelve o'clock as might be; and Margaret Hall, in her prudence, asked a working-man near to tell her what o'clock it was.

Presently, Libbie realized she was really hungry. Now, they were just getting dinner, which was, of course, to be eaten as close to twelve o'clock as possible; and Margaret Hall, being sensible, asked a nearby worker what time it was.

"Nay," said he, "I'll ne'er look at clock or watch to-day. I'll not spoil my pleasure by finding out how fast it's going away. If thou'rt hungry, eat. I make my own dinner hour, and I have eaten mine an hour ago."

"Not a chance," he said, "I won't check the clock or watch today. I won't ruin my enjoyment by seeing how quickly it's passing. If you're hungry, go ahead and eat. I set my own dinner time, and I already had mine an hour ago."

So they had their veal pies, and then found out it was only about half-past ten o'clock; by so many pleasurable events had that morning been marked. But such was their buoyancy of spirits, that they only enjoyed their mistake, and joined in the general laugh against the man who had eaten his dinner somewhere about nine. He laughed most heartily of all, till, suddenly stopping, he said,—

So they had their veal pies and then realized it was only around 10:30 AM; the morning had already been filled with so many enjoyable moments. But they were so cheerful that they just laughed off their mistake and joined in the general humor at the expense of the man who had eaten his dinner around 9. He laughed the hardest of all until, suddenly stopping, he said,—

"I must not go on at this rate; laughing gives one such an appetite."

"I can't keep this up; laughing makes you so hungry."

"Oh! if that's all," said a merry-looking man, lying at full length, and brushing the fresh scent out of the grass, while two or three little children tumbled over him, and crept about him, as kittens or puppies frolic with their parents, "if that's all, we'll have a subscription of eatables for them improvident folk as have eaten their dinner for their breakfast. Here's a sausage pasty and a handful of nuts for my share. Bring round a hat, Bob, and see what the company will give."

"Oh! if that's all," said a cheerful-looking guy, lying on the grass and enjoying the fresh scent, while a couple of kids played around him like kittens or puppies with their parents, "if that's all, let's gather some snacks for those people who didn't save any food for later. I’ve got a sausage pie and some nuts for myself. Bring a hat, Bob, and let's see what everyone will contribute."

Bob carried out the joke, much to little Franky's amusement; and no one was so churlish as to refuse, although the contributions varied from a peppermint drop up to a veal pie and a sausage pasty.

Bob pulled off the joke, much to little Franky's amusement; and no one was rude enough to refuse, even though the contributions ranged from a peppermint candy to a veal pie and a sausage roll.

"It's a thriving trade," said Bob, as he emptied his hatful of provisions on the grass by Libbie's side. "Besides, it's tiptop, too, to live on the public. Hark! what is that?"

"It's a booming business," said Bob, as he dumped his hat full of supplies on the grass next to Libbie. "Plus, it’s great to rely on the community. Hey! What’s that?"

The laughter and the chat were suddenly hushed, and mothers told their little ones to listen,—as, far away in the distance, now sinking and falling, now swelling and clear, came a ringing peal of children's voices, blended together in one of those psalm tunes which we are all of us familiar with, and which bring to mind the old, old days, when we, as wondering children, were first led to worship "Our Father," by those beloved ones who have since gone to the more perfect worship. Holy was that distant choral praise, even to the most thoughtless; and when it, in fact, was ended, in the instant's pause, during which the ear awaits the repetition of the air, they caught the noontide hum and buzz of the myriads of insects who danced away their lives in the glorious day; they heard the swaying of the mighty woods in the soft but resistless breeze, and then again once more burst forth the merry jests and the shouts of childhood; and again the elder ones resumed their happy talk, as they lay or sat "under the greenwood tree." Fresh parties came dropping in; some laden with wild flowers—almost with branches of hawthorn, indeed; while one or two had made prizes of the earliest dog-roses, and had cast away campion, stitchwort, ragged robin, all to keep the lady of the hedges from being obscured or hidden by the community.

The laughter and chatter suddenly faded, and mothers told their little ones to listen—as, far off in the distance, rising and falling, then swelling and clear, came a ringing chorus of children's voices, blending together in one of those hymns we're all familiar with, evoking the old days when we, as curious kids, were first led to worship "Our Father" by those beloved ones who have since moved on to the more perfect worship. That distant choral praise felt holy, even to the most distracted; and when it ended, in the brief pause while everyone expected the melody to return, they caught the noontime hum and buzz of countless insects dancing their lives away in the beautiful day; they heard the swaying of the great woods in the gentle but persistent breeze, and then once again burst forth the joyful jests and shouts of childhood; and once more the older ones picked up their happy conversation as they lay or sat "under the greenwood tree." New groups kept arriving; some carrying wildflowers—almost with branches of hawthorn, in fact; while one or two had scored the first dog-roses and left behind campion, stitchwort, and ragged robin, all to ensure that the lady of the hedges wasn't overshadowed or hidden by the rest.

One after another drew near to Franky, and looked on with interest as he lay sorting the flowers given to him. Happy parents stood by, with their household bands around them, in health and comeliness, and felt the sad prophecy of those shrivelled limbs, those wasted fingers, those lamp-like eyes, with their bright, dark lustre. His mother was too eagerly watching his happiness to read the meaning of those grave looks, but Libbie saw them and understood them; and a chill shudder went through her, even on that day, as she thought on the future.

One by one, people approached Franky and watched with interest as he sorted the flowers he had received. Happy parents stood nearby, surrounded by their families, looking healthy and attractive, but they couldn't ignore the sad omen of his shriveled limbs, wasted fingers, and lamp-like eyes that still had a bright, dark shine. His mother was too focused on his happiness to notice the serious expressions surrounding her, but Libbie noticed and understood them; a cold shiver ran through her that day as she contemplated the future.

"Ay! I thought we should give you a start!"

"Ay! I thought we should get you started!"

A start they did give, with their terrible slap on Libbie's back, as she sat idly grouping flowers, and following out her sorrowful thoughts. It was the Dixons. Instead of keeping their holiday by lying in bed, they and their children had roused themselves, and had come by the omnibus to the nearest point. For an instant the meeting was an awkward one, on account of the feud between Margaret Hall and Mrs. Dixon, but there was no long resisting of kindly mother Nature's soothings, at that holiday time, and in that lonely tranquil spot; or if they could have been unheeded, the sight of Franky would have awed every angry feeling into rest, so changed was he since the Dixons had last seen him; and since he had been the Puck or Robin Goodfellow of the neighbourhood, whose marbles were always rolling under other people's feet, and whose top-strings were always hanging in nooses to catch the unwary. Yes, he, the feeble, mild, almost girlish-looking lad, had once been a merry, happy rogue, and as such often cuffed by Mrs. Dixon, the very Mrs. Dixon who now stood gazing with the tears in her eyes. Could she, in sight of him, the changed, the fading, keep up a quarrel with his mother?

They did startle her with a loud slap on Libbie's back while she sat there idly arranging flowers and lost in her sad thoughts. It was the Dixons. Instead of spending their holiday lounging in bed, they and their kids had gotten up and taken the bus to the nearest spot. For a moment, the encounter was awkward due to the feud between Margaret Hall and Mrs. Dixon, but kind mother Nature's soothing presence on that holiday and in that peaceful place made it hard to keep feeling angry. Or, if they could have ignored it, seeing Franky would have calmed any irritation, given how much he had changed since the last time the Dixons saw him; he had been the neighborhood’s mischievous Puck or Robin Goodfellow, whose marbles were always in the way and whose tops dangled in knots to trip the unsuspecting. Yes, he, the frail, gentle, almost feminine-looking boy, had once been a cheerful little rascal, often scolded by Mrs. Dixon, the same Mrs. Dixon who now stood there with tears in her eyes. Could she really keep a feud with his mother in front of him, the changed, fading boy?

"How long hast thou been here?" asked Dixon.

"How long have you been here?" asked Dixon.

"Welly on for all day," answered Libbie.

"Welly on all day," answered Libbie.

"Hast never been to see the deer, or the king and queen oaks? Lord, how stupid."

"Have you never been to see the deer or the king and queen oaks? Wow, how silly."

His wife pinched his arm, to remind him of Franky's helpless condition, which of course tethered the otherwise willing feet. But Dixon had a remedy. He called Bob, and one or two others, and each taking a corner of the strong plaid shawl, they slung Franky as in a hammock, and thus carried him merrily along, down the wood paths, over the smooth, grassy turf, while the glimmering shine and shadow fell on his upturned face. The women walked behind, talking, loitering along, always in sight of the hammock; now picking up some green treasure from the ground, now catching at the low hanging branches of the horse-chestnut. The soul grew much on this day, and in these woods, and all unconsciously, as souls do grow. They followed Franky's hammock-bearers up a grassy knoll, on the top of which stood a group of pine trees, whose stems looked like dark red gold in the sunbeams. They had taken Franky there to show him Manchester, far away in the blue plain, against which the woodland foreground cut with a soft clear line. Far, far away in the distance on that flat plain, you might see the motionless cloud of smoke hanging over a great town, and that was Manchester,—ugly, smoky Manchester, dear, busy, earnest, noble-working Manchester; where their children had been born, and where, perhaps, some lay buried; where their homes were, and where God had cast their lives, and told them to work out their destiny.

His wife pinched his arm to remind him of Franky's helpless condition, which, of course, held back his otherwise willing feet. But Dixon had a solution. He called Bob and a couple of others, and each took a corner of the strong plaid shawl, swinging Franky like a hammock, and carried him happily along the wooded paths, over the smooth, grassy ground, while the glimmering light and shadows played on his upturned face. The women walked behind, chatting and strolling, always keeping the hammock in sight; sometimes picking up some green treasures from the ground, other times reaching for the low-hanging branches of the horse-chestnut. The soul grew a lot on this day, in these woods, and without realizing it, just as souls tend to grow. They followed Franky's hammock bearers up a grassy hill, where a group of pine trees stood, their trunks glowing like dark red gold in the sunlight. They took Franky there to show him Manchester, far away in the blue distance, where the forest's edge contrasted with a soft clear line. In the far distance on that flat plain, you could see a still cloud of smoke hanging over a large town, and that was Manchester—ugly, smoky Manchester, dear, busy, earnest, noble-working Manchester; where their children had been born and where, perhaps, some were buried; where their homes were, and where God had placed their lives, telling them to work out their destiny.

"Hurrah! for oud smoke-jack!" cried Bob, putting Franky softly down on the grass, before he whirled his hat round, preparatory to a shout. "Hurrah! hurrah!" from all the men. "There's the rim of my hat lying like a quoit yonder," observed Bob quietly, as he replaced his brimless hat on his head with the gravity of a judge.

"Hooray! for the smoke-jack!" shouted Bob, gently setting Franky down on the grass before spinning his hat around, ready to yell. "Hooray! hooray!" cheered all the men. "There's the edge of my hat lying over there like a quoit," Bob said calmly, as he put his brimless hat back on his head with the seriousness of a judge.

"Here's the Sunday-school children a-coming to sit on this shady side, and have their buns and milk. Hark! they're singing the infant-school grace."

"Here come the Sunday school kids to sit in the shade and have their snacks and milk. Listen! They're singing the preschool grace."

They sat close at hand, so that Franky could hear the words they sang, in rings of children, making, in their gay summer prints, newly donned for that week, garlands of little faces, all happy and bright upon that green hill-side. One little "Dot" of a girl came shily behind Franky, whom she had long been watching, and threw her half-bun at his side, and then ran away and hid herself, in very shame at the boldness of her own sweet impulse. She kept peeping from her screen at Franky all the time; and he meanwhile was almost too much pleased and happy to eat; the world was so beautiful, and men, women, and children all so tender and kind; so softened, in fact, by the beauty of this earth, so unconsciously touched by the spirit of love, which was the Creator of this lovely earth. But the day drew to an end; the heat declined; the birds once more began their warblings; the fresh scents again hung about plant, and tree, and grass, betokening the fragrant presence of the reviving dew, and—the boat time was near. As they trod the meadow-path once more, they were joined by many a party they had encountered during the day, all abounding in happiness, all full of the day's adventures. Long-cherished quarrels had been forgotten, new friendships formed. Fresh tastes and higher delights had been imparted that day. We have all of us our look, now and then, called up by some noble or loving thought (our highest on earth), which will be our likeness in heaven. I can catch the glance on many a face, the glancing light of the cloud of glory from heaven, "which is our home." That look was present on many a hard-worked, wrinkled countenance, as they turned backwards to catch a longing, lingering look at Dunham woods, fast deepening into blackness of night, but whose memory was to haunt, in greenness and freshness, many a loom, and workshop, and factory, with images of peace and beauty.

They sat close together so that Franky could hear the songs the children were singing in circles, their bright summer outfits newly worn for the week, creating a garland of little happy faces all beaming on that green hillside. One shy little girl, whom Franky had caught watching him for a while, sheepishly threw her half-eaten bun at his side, then ran away and hid, embarrassed by her own sweet boldness. She kept peeking out from her hiding spot to watch Franky, who was almost too happy to eat. The world felt so beautiful, with men, women, and children all so gentle and kind, softened by the loveliness of the earth, unconsciously touched by the spirit of love that created this beautiful world. But as the day started to fade, the heat lessened, the birds began their songs again, and fresh scents wafted around the plants, trees, and grass, signaling the fragrant presence of the reviving dew—and it was close to boat time. As they walked the meadow path again, they were joined by many groups they had met throughout the day, all radiating happiness and filled with stories of the day's adventures. Long-held grudges had been forgotten, and new friendships had been formed. Fresh tastes and new joys had been shared that day. Each of us occasionally carries a look, sparked by a noble or loving thought (our highest on earth), reflecting our true selves in heaven. I can see that look on many faces, the glimmer of heavenly glory lighting them up, "which is our home." That look was visible on many tired, wrinkled faces as they turned back to steal one last longing glance at Dunham woods, quickly fading into darkness, but whose memory would linger in the greenness and freshness of many a loom, workshop, and factory, filled with images of peace and beauty.

That night, as Libbie lay awake, revolving the incidents of the day, she caught Franky's voice through the open windows. Instead of the frequent moan of pain, he was trying to recall the burden of one of the children's hymns,—

That night, as Libbie lay awake, going over the events of the day, she heard Franky’s voice through the open windows. Instead of his usual groans of pain, he was trying to remember the words to one of the children's hymns,—

Here we suffer grief and pain,
Here we meet to part again;
In Heaven we part no more.
Oh! that will be joyful, &c.

Here we experience sorrow and hurt,
Here we gather only to say goodbye again;
In Heaven, we won't be separated anymore.
Oh! That will be joyful, etc.

She recalled his question, the whispered question, to her, in the happiest part of the day. He asked Libbie, "Is Dunham like heaven? the people here are as kind as angels, and I don't want heaven to be more beautiful than this place. If you and mother would but die with me, I should like to die, and live always there!" She had checked him, for she feared he was impious; but now the young child's craving for some definite idea of the land to which his inner wisdom told him he was hastening, had nothing in it wrong, or even sorrowful, for—

She remembered his question, the soft question, to her, during the happiest part of the day. He asked Libbie, "Is Dunham like heaven? The people here are as kind as angels, and I don’t want heaven to be more beautiful than this place. If you and Mom could just die with me, I would love to die and always live there!" She had stopped him because she was worried he was being disrespectful; but now the young child's desire for a clear idea of the place his inner wisdom suggested he was heading towards had nothing wrong or even sad about it, for—

In Heaven we part no more.

In Heaven, we won't separate again.

 

ERA III.

MICHAELMAS.

The church clocks had struck three; the crowds of gentlemen returning to business, after their early dinners, had disappeared within offices and warehouses; the streets were clear and quiet, and ladies were venturing to sally forth for their afternoon shoppings and their afternoon calls.

The church clocks had just chimed three; the groups of gentlemen heading back to work after their early dinners had vanished into offices and warehouses; the streets were clear and calm, and ladies were daring to head out for their afternoon shopping and visits.

Slowly, slowly, along the streets, elbowed by life at every turn, a little funeral wound its quiet way. Four men bore along a child's coffin; two women with bowed heads followed meekly.

Slowly, slowly, down the streets, pushed by life at every turn, a small funeral made its quiet way. Four men carried a child's coffin; two women with bowed heads followed quietly.

I need not tell you whose coffin it was, or who were those two mourners. All was now over with little Frank Hall: his romps, his games, his sickening, his suffering, his death. All was now over, but the Resurrection and the Life.

I don't need to tell you whose coffin it was or who the two mourners were. All was now finished with little Frank Hall: his playing, his games, his illness, his suffering, his death. Everything was over now, except for the Resurrection and the Life.

His mother walked as in a stupor. Could it be that he was dead! If he had been less of an object of her thoughts, less of a motive for her labours, she could sooner have realized it. As it was, she followed his poor, cast-off, worn-out body as if she were borne along by some oppressive dream. If he were really dead, how could she be still alive?

His mother walked as if in a daze. Could he really be dead? If he had been less of a focus in her mind, less of a reason for her efforts, she might have grasped it faster. Instead, she trailed behind his poor, discarded, worn-out body as if she were caught in a heavy dream. If he were truly dead, how could she still be alive?

Libbie's mind was far less stunned, and consequently far more active, than Margaret Hall's. Visions, as in a phantasmagoria, came rapidly passing before her—recollections of the time (which seemed now so long ago) when the shadow of the feebly-waving arm first caught her attention; of the bright, strangely isolated day at Dunham Park, where the world had seemed so full of enjoyment, and beauty, and life; of the long-continued heat, through which poor Franky had panted away his strength in the little close room, where there was no escaping the hot rays of the afternoon sun; of the long nights when his mother and she had watched by his side, as he moaned continually, whether awake or asleep; of the fevered moaning slumber of exhaustion; of the pitiful little self-upbraidings for his own impatience of suffering, only impatient in his own eyes—most true and holy patience in the sight of others; and then the fading away of life, the loss of power, the increased unconsciousness, the lovely look of angelic peace, which followed the dark shadow on the countenance, where was he—what was he now?

Libbie's mind was much more alert and active than Margaret Hall's. Images flashed before her like in a dream—memories of the time (which felt so long ago) when the weakly waving arm first caught her eye; of that bright, strangely isolated day at Dunham Park, when everything seemed full of joy, beauty, and life; of the long, hot days when poor Franky had struggled to breathe in the stuffy little room, unable to escape the blazing afternoon sun; of the long nights spent watching by his side as he moaned incessantly, whether awake or asleep; of his exhausted, feverish sleep filled with moaning; of his pitiful little self-reproaches for his impatience with suffering, which was only impatience to him—while it was truly admirable and pure patience in the eyes of others; and then the slow fade of life, the loss of strength, the deepening unconsciousness, and the serene look of angelic peace that followed the dark shadow on his face—where was he now—what was he now?

And so they laid him in his grave, and heard the solemn funeral words; but far off in the distance, as if not addressed to them.

And so they placed him in his grave, listening to the solemn funeral words; but far off in the distance, it felt as if those words weren't meant for them.

Margaret Hall bent over the grave to catch one last glance—she had not spoken, nor sobbed, nor done aught but shiver now and then, since the morning; but now her weight bore more heavily on Libbie's arm, and without sigh or sound she fell an unconscious heap on the piled-up gravel. They helped Libbie to bring her round; but long after her half-opened eyes and altered breathing showed that her senses were restored, she lay, speechless and motionless, without attempting to rise from her strange bed, as if the earth contained nothing worth even that trifling exertion.

Margaret Hall leaned over the grave to take one last look—she hadn't spoken, cried, or done anything except shiver occasionally since the morning; but now her weight was pressing more heavily on Libbie's arm, and without a sigh or sound, she collapsed in an unconscious heap on the piled-up gravel. They helped Libbie to revive her; but long after her half-open eyes and changed breathing indicated that her senses had returned, she lay, silent and still, without trying to get up from her unusual resting place, as if the earth held nothing worth even that small effort.

At last Libbie and she left that holy, consecrated spot, and bent their steps back to the only place more consecrated still; where he had rendered up his spirit; and where memories of him haunted each common, rude piece of furniture that their eyes fell upon. As the woman of the house opened the door, she pulled Libbie on one side, and said—

At last, Libbie and she left that sacred place and headed back to the only spot even more sacred; where he had passed away; and where memories of him lingered in every simple, rough piece of furniture their eyes landed on. As the woman of the house opened the door, she pulled Libbie aside and said—

"Anne Dixon has been across to see you; she wants to have a word with you."

"Anne Dixon came by to see you; she wants to talk to you."

"I cannot go now," replied Libbie, as she pushed hastily along, in order to enter the room (his room), at the same time with the childless mother: for, as she had anticipated, the sight of that empty spot, the glance at the uncurtained open window, letting in the fresh air, and the broad, rejoicing light of day, where all had so long been darkened and subdued, unlocked the waters of the fountain, and long and shrill were the cries for her boy that the poor woman uttered.

"I can't go now," Libbie replied, rushing to enter the room (his room) at the same time as the mother who had lost her child. Just as she had expected, seeing that empty space, glancing at the uncurtained open window that let in fresh air and bright, cheerful daylight where everything had been so dark and muted for so long, opened the floodgates of emotion, and the poor woman let out long, piercing cries for her boy.

"Oh! dear Mrs. Hall," said Libbie, herself drenched in tears, "do not take on so badly; I'm sure it would grieve him sore if he were alive, and you know he is—Bible tells us so; and may be he's here watching how we go on without him, and hoping we don't fret over much."

"Oh! dear Mrs. Hall," said Libbie, herself in tears, "please don’t be so upset; I know it would really hurt him if he were alive, and you know he is— the Bible tells us that; and maybe he’s here watching how we’re doing without him, hoping we don’t worry too much."

Mrs. Hall's sobs grew worse and more hysterical.

Mrs. Hall's sobs became louder and more frantic.

"Oh! listen," said Libbie, once more struggling against her own increasing agitation. "Listen! there's Peter chirping as he always does when he's put about, frightened like; and you know he that's gone could never abide to hear the canary chirp in that shrill way."

"Oh! listen," said Libbie, once again battling her growing anxiety. "Listen! There's Peter chirping like he always does when he's upset and scared; and you know the one who's gone could never stand to hear the canary chirp that way."

Margaret Hall did check herself, and curb her expressions of agony, in order not to frighten the little creature he had loved; and as her outward grief subsided, Libbie took up the large old Bible, which fell open at the never-failing comfort of the fourteenth chapter of St. John's Gospel.

Margaret Hall composed herself and held back her expressions of pain so she wouldn’t scare the little one he had loved. As her outward sorrow faded, Libbie picked up the big old Bible, which opened to the always comforting fourteenth chapter of St. John's Gospel.

How often these large family Bibles do open at that chapter! as if, unused in more joyous and prosperous times, the soul went home to its words of loving sympathy when weary and sorrowful, just as the little child seeks the tender comfort of its mother in all its griefs and cares.

How often do these big family Bibles open to that chapter! It’s like, during happier and more successful times, the soul returns to its comforting words when feeling tired and sad, just as a little child looks for the gentle comfort of its mother in all its troubles and worries.

And Margaret put back her wet, ruffled, grey hair from her heated, tear-stained, woeful face, and listened with such earnest eyes, trying to form some idea of the "Father's house," where her boy had gone to dwell.

And Margaret pushed her damp, messy, gray hair away from her flushed, tear-streaked, sad face and listened with such sincere eyes, trying to imagine the "Father's house," where her son had gone to live.

They were interrupted by a low tap at the door. Libbie went. "Anne Dixon has watched you home, and wants to have a word with you," said the woman of the house, in a whisper. Libbie went back and closed the book, with a word of explanation to Margaret Hall, and then ran downstairs, to learn the reason of Anne's anxiety to see her.

They were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Libbie got up. "Anne Dixon has walked you home and wants to talk to you," whispered the woman of the house. Libbie returned, closed the book with a quick explanation to Margaret Hall, and then hurried downstairs to find out why Anne was so anxious to see her.

"Oh, Libbie!" she burst out with, and then, checking herself with the remembrance of Libbie's last solemn duty, "how's Margaret Hall? But, of course, poor thing, she'll fret a bit at first; she'll be some time coming round, mother says, seeing it's as well that poor lad is taken; for he'd always ha' been a cripple, and a trouble to her—he was a fine lad once, too."

"Oh, Libbie!" she exclaimed, and then, remembering Libbie's recent serious responsibility, she continued, "How's Margaret Hall? But of course, poor thing, she'll be upset for a while; it’ll take her some time to adjust, Mom says, since it’s probably for the best that poor boy has passed; he would have always been a burden to her as a cripple—he was such a great kid once, too."

She had come full of another and a different subject; but the sight of Libbie's sad, weeping face, and the quiet, subdued tone of her manner, made her feel it awkward to begin on any other theme than the one which filled up her companion's mind. To her last speech Libbie answered sorrowfully—

She had come ready to talk about something else entirely; but seeing Libbie's sad, tearful face and the soft, quiet tone she used made her feel uncomfortable starting any conversation that didn't match what was on her friend's mind. In response to her last comment, Libbie replied sadly—

"No doubt, Anne, it's ordered for the best; but oh! don't call him, don't think he could ever ha' been, a trouble to his mother, though he were a cripple. She loved him all the more for each thing she had to do for him—I am sure I did." Libbie cried a little behind her apron. Anne Dixon felt still more awkward in introducing the discordant subject.

"No doubt, Anne, it’s all for the best; but please! don’t call him, don’t think he could ever have been a burden to his mother, even if he was a cripple. She loved him even more for everything she had to do for him—I know I did." Libbie cried a little behind her apron. Anne Dixon felt even more uncomfortable bringing up the awkward topic.

"Well! 'flesh is grass,' Bible says," and having fulfilled the etiquette of quoting a text if possible, if not of making a moral observation on the fleeting nature of earthly things, she thought she was at liberty to pass on to her real errand.

"Well! 'flesh is grass,' the Bible says," and having adhered to the social norm of quoting a text when possible, or at least making a moral observation about the temporary nature of worldly things, she felt free to move on to her actual purpose.

"You must not go on moping yourself, Libbie Marsh. What I wanted special for to see you this afternoon, was to tell you, you must come to my wedding to-morrow. Nanny Dawson has fallen sick, and there's none as I should like to have bridesmaid in her place as well as you."

"You shouldn’t keep feeling sorry for yourself, Libbie Marsh. What I really wanted to do this afternoon was to tell you that you have to come to my wedding tomorrow. Nanny Dawson is sick, and there’s no one I’d rather have as a bridesmaid in her place than you."

"To-morrow! Oh, I cannot!—indeed I cannot!"

"Tomorrow! Oh, I can’t!—I really can’t!"

"Why not?"

"Why not?"

Libbie did not answer, and Anne Dixon grew impatient.

Libbie didn't reply, and Anne Dixon became impatient.

"Surely, in the name o' goodness, you're never going to baulk yourself of a day's pleasure for the sake of yon little cripple that's dead and gone!"

"Surely, for the sake of goodness, you're not going to ruin a day of fun because of that little cripple who’s gone!"

"No,—it's not baulking myself of—don't be angry, Anne Dixon, with him, please; but I don't think it would be a pleasure to me,—I don't feel as if I could enjoy it; thank you all the same. But I did love that little lad very dearly—I did," sobbing a little, "and I can't forget him and make merry so soon."

"No, it's not about holding myself back—don't be mad, Anne Dixon, with him, please; but I don't think it would bring me joy—I don’t feel like I could enjoy it; thank you all the same. But I did love that little boy very much—I did," she said, sobbing a little, "and I can't forget him and just move on so quickly."

"Well—I never!" exclaimed Anne, almost angrily.

"Well—I can’t believe it!" Anne exclaimed, almost angrily.

"Indeed, Anne, I feel your kindness, and you and Bob have my best wishes,—that's what you have; but even if I went, I should be thinking all day of him, and of his poor, poor mother, and they say it's bad to think very much on them that's dead, at a wedding."

"Absolutely, Anne, I appreciate your kindness, and you and Bob have my best wishes—that much is true; but even if I went, I’d be thinking about him all day, and about his poor, poor mother. They say it’s unhealthy to dwell too much on those who are gone at a wedding."

"Nonsense," said Anne, "I'll take the risk of the ill-luck. After all, what is marrying? Just a spree, Bob says. He often says he does not think I shall make him a good wife, for I know nought about house matters, wi' working in a factory; but he says he'd rather be uneasy wi' me than easy wi' anybody else. There's love for you! And I tell him I'd rather have him tipsy than any one else sober."

"Nonsense," Anne said, "I’ll take the chance of bad luck. After all, what is marriage? Just a fun time, Bob says. He often tells me he doesn’t think I’ll be a good wife since I know nothing about running a household, working in a factory and all. But he says he’d rather feel anxious with me than relaxed with anyone else. Now that’s love for you! And I tell him I’d rather have him drunk than anyone else sober."

"Oh! Anne Dixon, hush! you don't know yet what it is to have a drunken husband. I have seen something of it: father used to get fuddled, and, in the long run, it killed mother, let alone—oh! Anne, God above only knows what the wife of a drunken man has to bear. Don't tell," said she, lowering her voice, "but father killed our little baby in one of his bouts; mother never looked up again, nor father either, for that matter, only his was in a different way. Mother will have gotten to little Jemmie now, and they'll be so happy together,—and perhaps Franky too. Oh!" said she, recovering herself from her train of thought, "never say aught lightly of the wife's lot whose husband is given to drink!"

"Oh! Anne Dixon, quiet down! You don’t know what it’s like to have a drunk husband. I’ve seen a bit of it: Dad used to get drunk, and in the end, it killed Mom, not to mention—oh! Anne, God only knows what a wife of a drunk man has to endure. Don’t tell anyone," she said, lowering her voice, "but Dad killed our little baby during one of his binges; Mom never smiled again, and neither did Dad, but his grief was different. Mom must have joined little Jemmie now, and they’ll be so happy together—maybe even Franky too. Oh!" she said, pulling herself out of her thoughts, "never take lightly the struggles of a wife whose husband is an alcoholic!"

"Dear, what a preachment. I tell you what, Libbie, you're as born an old maid as ever I saw. You'll never be married to either drunken or sober."

"Dear, what a sermon. I’ll tell you, Libbie, you’re as much of an old maid as anyone I’ve ever seen. You’ll never get married, whether the guy is drunk or sober."

Libbie's face went rather red, but without losing its meek expression.

Libbie's face turned a bit red, but she still kept her gentle expression.

"I know that as well as you can tell me; and more reason, therefore, as God has seen fit to keep me out of woman's natural work, I should try and find work for myself. I mean," seeing Anne Dixon's puzzled look, "that as I know I'm never likely to have a home of my own, or a husband that would look to me to make all straight, or children to watch over or care for, all which I take to be woman's natural work, I must not lose time in fretting and fidgetting after marriage, but just look about me for somewhat else to do. I can see many a one misses it in this. They will hanker after what is ne'er likely to be theirs, instead of facing it out, and settling down to be old maids; and, as old maids, just looking round for the odd jobs God leaves in the world for such as old maids to do. There's plenty of such work, and there's the blessing of God on them as does it." Libbie was almost out of breath at this outpouring of what had long been her inner thoughts.

"I know that just as well as you can tell me; and it makes even more sense, since God has chosen to keep me away from a woman's traditional role, that I should try to find work for myself. I mean," noticing Anne Dixon’s confused expression, "that since I know I’m never likely to have a home of my own, or a husband who would rely on me to sort everything out, or children to look after and care for—all of which I believe is a woman's natural work—I shouldn’t waste time worrying about marriage. Instead, I should just look around for something else to do. I see many people miss the point here. They long for what is never likely to be theirs, rather than accepting it and settling into being single women; and as single women, they should just seek out the extra tasks God leaves in the world for those like us to handle. There's plenty of such work, and there’s God’s blessing on those who do it." Libbie was almost out of breath after sharing what had long been on her mind.

"That's all very true, I make no doubt, for them as is to be old maids; but as I'm not, please God to-morrow comes, you might have spared your breath to cool your porridge. What I want to know is, whether you'll be bridesmaid to-morrow or not. Come, now do; it will do you good, after all your working, and watching, and slaving yourself for that poor Franky Hall."

"That's definitely true for those who are going to be old maids; but since I'm not, hopefully tomorrow comes, you could have saved your breath for cooling your porridge. What I want to know is whether you'll be a bridesmaid tomorrow or not. Come on, do it; it will do you good after all your hard work, watching, and exhausting yourself for that poor Franky Hall."

"It was one of my odd jobs," said Libbie, smiling, though her eyes were brimming over with tears; "but, dear Anne," said she, recovering itself, "I could not do it to-morrow, indeed I could not."

"It was one of my odd jobs," Libbie said with a smile, although her eyes were full of tears. "But, dear Anne," she continued, regaining her composure, "I really can't do it tomorrow, I truly can't."

"And I can't wait," said Anne Dixon, almost sulkily, "Bob and I put it off from to-day, because of the funeral, and Bob had set his heart on its being on Michaelmas-day; and mother says the goose won't keep beyond to-morrow. Do come: father finds eatables, and Bob finds drink, and we shall be so jolly! and after we've been to church, we're to walk round the town in pairs, white satin ribbon in our bonnets, and refreshments at any public-house we like, Bob says. And after dinner there's to be a dance. Don't be a fool; you can do no good by staying. Margaret Hall will have to go out washing, I'll be bound."

"And I can't wait," said Anne Dixon, almost sulking. "Bob and I postponed it until today because of the funeral, and Bob was really looking forward to celebrating on Michaelmas Day; and Mom says the goose won't last beyond tomorrow. Please come: Dad finds the food, and Bob finds the drinks, and we’ll have such a good time! After church, we’re supposed to walk around town in pairs, wearing white satin ribbons in our bonnets, and then we can have snacks at any pub we want, according to Bob. And after dinner, there’s going to be a dance. Don’t be silly; you won’t do any good by staying home. I bet Margaret Hall will have to go out washing."

"Yes, she must go to Mrs. Wilkinson's, and, for that matter, I must go working too. Mrs. Williams has been after me to make her girl's winter things ready; only I could not leave Franky, he clung so to me."

"Yes, she has to go to Mrs. Wilkinson's, and, on that note, I need to get to work too. Mrs. Williams has been pushing me to get her daughter's winter clothes ready; I just couldn't leave Franky since he was so attached to me."

"Then you won't be bridesmaid! is that your last word?"

"Then you won't be a bridesmaid! Is that your final word?"

"It is; you must not be angry with me, Anne Dixon," said Libbie, deprecatingly.

"It is; you shouldn't be mad at me, Anne Dixon," said Libbie, apologetically.

But Anne was gone without a reply.

But Anne was gone without answering.

With a heavy heart Libbie mounted the little staircase, for she felt how ungracious her refusal of Anne's kindness must appear, to one who understood so little the feelings which rendered her acceptance of it a moral impossibility.

With a heavy heart, Libbie climbed the small staircase, knowing how rude her rejection of Anne's kindness must seem to someone who understood so little about the feelings that made accepting it morally impossible for her.

On opening the door she saw Margaret Hall, with the Bible open on the table before her. For she had puzzled out the place where Libbie was reading, and, with her finger under the line, was spelling out the words of consolation, piecing the syllables together aloud, with the earnest anxiety of comprehension with which a child first learns to read. So Libbie took the stool by her side, before she was aware that any one had entered the room.

On opening the door, she saw Margaret Hall with the Bible open on the table in front of her. Margaret had figured out the spot where Libbie was reading and was tracing the words of comfort with her finger, sounding out the syllables aloud with the focused determination of a child just learning to read. Libbie then took a stool next to her before she even realized someone had come into the room.

"What did she want you for?" asked Margaret. "But I can guess; she wanted you to be at th' wedding that is to come off this week, they say. Ay, they'll marry, and laugh, and dance, all as one as if my boy was alive," said she, bitterly. "Well, he was neither kith nor kin of yours, so I maun try and be thankful for what you've done for him, and not wonder at your forgetting him afore he's well settled in his grave."

"What did she want you for?" asked Margaret. "But I can guess; she wanted you to be at the wedding that's happening this week, they say. Yeah, they'll get married and laugh and dance, all as if my boy was alive," she said bitterly. "Well, he wasn't related to you, so I have to try and be thankful for what you've done for him and not be surprised that you've forgotten him before he's even properly settled in his grave."

"I never can forget him, and I'm not going to the wedding," said Libbie, quietly, for she understood the mother's jealousy of her dead child's claims.

"I can never forget him, and I'm not going to the wedding," Libbie said softly, as she understood the mother's jealousy over her deceased child's legacy.

"I must go work at Mrs. Williams' to-morrow," she said, in explanation, for she was unwilling to boast of her tender, fond regret, which had been her principal motive for declining Anne's invitation.

"I have to go work at Mrs. Williams' tomorrow," she said, clarifying, because she didn't want to brag about her deep, affectionate regret, which was her main reason for turning down Anne's invitation.

"And I mun go washing, just as if nothing had happened," sighed forth Mrs. Hall, "and I mun come home at night, and find his place empty, and all still where I used to be sure of hearing his voice ere ever I got up the stair: no one will ever call me mother again." She fell crying pitifully, and Libbie could not speak for her own emotion for some time. But during this silence she put the keystone in the arch of thoughts she had been building up for many days; and when Margaret was again calm in her sorrow, Libbie said, "Mrs. Hall, I should like—would you like me to come for to live here altogether?"

"And I have to go wash the clothes, just like nothing happened," Mrs. Hall sighed. "And I have to come home at night to find his spot empty, and everything quiet where I used to always hear his voice before I even went up the stairs: no one will ever call me 'mother' again." She broke down crying, and Libbie was too emotional to speak for a bit. But during that silence, she finally put together the crucial thought she'd been developing for days. Once Margaret had calmed down in her sorrow, Libbie said, "Mrs. Hall, I was wondering—would you like me to come and live here with you?"

Margaret Hall looked up with a sudden light in her countenance, which encouraged Libbie to go on.

Margaret Hall looked up with a sudden brightness in her face, which prompted Libbie to continue.

"I could sleep with you, and pay half, you know; and we should be together in the evenings; and her as was home first would watch for the other, and" (dropping her voice) "we could talk of him at nights, you know."

"I could sleep with you and split the cost, you know; we could be together in the evenings, and the one who gets home first would wait for the other, and" (lowering her voice) "we could talk about him at night, you know."

She was going on, but Mrs. Hall interrupted her.

She was continuing, but Mrs. Hall interrupted her.

"Oh, Libbie Marsh! and can you really think of coming to live wi' me. I should like it above—but no! it must not be; you've no notion on what a creature I am, at times; more like a mad one when I'm in a rage, and I cannot keep it down. I seem to get out of bed wrong side in the morning, and I must have my passion out with the first person I meet. Why, Libbie," said she, with a doleful look of agony on her face, "I even used to fly out on him, poor sick lad as he was, and you may judge how little you can keep it down frae that. No, you must not come. I must live alone now," sinking her voice into the low tones of despair.

"Oh, Libbie Marsh! Can you really consider coming to live with me? I would love it, but no! It can't happen; you have no idea what I'm like sometimes; I can be like a crazy person when I get angry, and I can't hold it in. It feels like I wake up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning, and I have to let out my frustration with the first person I see. Honestly, Libbie," she said, with a pained expression on her face, "I even used to yell at him, poor sick boy that he was, and you can imagine how hard it is to control myself from that. No, you shouldn't come. I have to live alone now," she said, her voice dropping to a tone of despair.

But Libbie's resolution was brave and strong. "I'm not afraid," said she, smiling. "I know you better than you know yourself, Mrs. Hall. I've seen you try of late to keep it down, when you've been boiling over, and I think you'll go on a-doing so. And at any rate, when you've had your fit out, you're very kind, and I can forget if you've been a bit put out. But I'll try not to put you out. Do let me come: I think he would like us to keep together. I'll do my very best to make you comfortable."

But Libbie's determination was brave and strong. "I'm not scared," she said, smiling. "I know you better than you know yourself, Mrs. Hall. I've noticed lately how you've tried to hold it in when you’ve been really upset, and I think you’ll keep doing that. But anyway, once you’ve let it all out, you’re very nice, and I can overlook if you've been a bit off. But I’ll try not to bother you. Please let me come: I think he would want us to stick together. I’ll do my absolute best to make you comfortable."

"It's me! it's me as will be making your life miserable with my temper; or else, God knows, how my heart clings to you. You and me is folk alone in the world, for we both loved one who is dead, and who had none else to love him. If you will live with me, Libbie, I'll try as I never did afore to be gentle and quiet-tempered. Oh! will you try me, Libbie Marsh?" So out of the little grave there sprang a hope and a resolution, which made life an object to each of the two.

"It's me! I'm the one who will probably make your life difficult with my temper; but, honestly, my heart is really attached to you. You and I are the only ones in the world who understand each other, because we both loved someone who has passed away and had no one else to love them. If you choose to be with me, Libbie, I promise I'll do my best like never before to be gentle and calm. Oh! Will you give me a chance, Libbie Marsh?" So from that little grave sprang a hope and a determination that gave life meaning for both of them.

 

When Elizabeth Marsh returned home the next evening from her day's labours, Anne (Dixon no longer) crossed over, all in her bridal finery, to endeavour to induce her to join the dance going on in her father's house.

When Elizabeth Marsh got home the next evening after work, Anne (no longer Dixon) came over, all dressed up in her bridal attire, trying to persuade her to join the dance happening at her father's house.

"Dear Anne, this is good of you, a-thinking of me to-night," said Libbie, kissing her, "and though I cannot come,—I've promised Mrs. Hall to be with her,—I shall think on you, and I trust you'll be happy. I have got a little needle-case I have looked out for you; stay, here it is,—I wish it were more—only——"

"Dear Anne, it's really nice of you to think of me tonight," said Libbie, giving her a kiss. "And even though I can't come—I promised Mrs. Hall I'd be with her—I’ll be thinking of you, and I hope you'll be happy. I found a little needle case for you; just a second, here it is—I wish it were more—only——"

"Only, I know what. You've been a-spending all your money in nice things for poor Franky. Thou'rt a real good un, Libbie, and I'll keep your needle-book to my dying day, that I will." Seeing Anne in such a friendly mood, emboldened Libbie to tell her of her change of place; of her intention of lodging henceforward with Margaret Hall.

"Look, I know what’s going on. You’ve been spending all your money on nice things for poor Franky. You’re really a good person, Libbie, and I’ll treasure your needle-book for the rest of my life, I promise." Seeing Anne in such a friendly mood gave Libbie the courage to share her news about moving; she planned to live with Margaret Hall from now on.

"Thou never will! Why father and mother are as fond of thee as can be; they'll lower thy rent if that's what it is—and thou knowst they never grudge thee bit or drop. And Margaret Hall, of all folk, to lodge wi'! She's such a Tartar! Sooner than not have a quarrel, she'd fight right hand against left. Thou'lt have no peace of thy life. What on earth can make you think of such a thing, Libbie Marsh?"

"You won't! Your parents are as fond of you as anyone could be; they'll lower your rent if that's what you need—and you know they never hold back on you. And Margaret Hall, of all people, to stay with! She's such a nightmare! Rather than avoid a fight, she'd argue with herself. You won’t have a moment of peace. What on earth makes you think of something like this, Libbie Marsh?"

"She'll be so lonely without me," pleaded Libbie. "I'm sure I could make her happier, even if she did scold me a bit now and then, than she'd be a living alone, and I'm not afraid of her; and I mean to do my best not to vex her: and it will ease her heart, maybe, to talk to me at times about Franky. I shall often see your father and mother, and I shall always thank them for their kindness to me. But they have you and little Mary, and poor Mrs. Hall has no one."

"She'll be so lonely without me," Libbie begged. "I’m sure I could make her happier, even if she does scold me a bit now and then, than she would be living alone, and I'm not scared of her; and I plan to do my best not to annoy her. It might even ease her heart to talk to me sometimes about Franky. I’ll often see your dad and mom, and I’ll always thank them for their kindness to me. But they have you and little Mary, and poor Mrs. Hall has no one."

Anne could only repeat, "Well, I never!" and hurry off to tell the news at home.

Anne could only say, "Well, I can't believe it!" and quickly rush home to share the news.

But Libbie was right. Margaret Hall is a different woman to the scold of the neighbourhood she once was; touched and softened by the two purifying angels, Sorrow and Love. And it is beautiful to see her affection, her reverence, for Libbie Marsh. Her dead mother could hardly have cared for her more tenderly than does the hard-hearted washerwoman, not long ago so fierce and unwomanly. Libbie, herself, has such peace shining on her countenance, as almost makes it beautiful, as she tenders the services of a daughter to Franky's mother, no longer the desolate lonely orphan, a stranger on the earth.

But Libbie was right. Margaret Hall is a different woman from the scold of the neighborhood she once was; she's been touched and softened by the two purifying angels, Sorrow and Love. It's beautiful to see her affection and respect for Libbie Marsh. Her dead mother could hardly have cared for her more tenderly than the once hard-hearted washerwoman, who wasn’t long ago so fierce and unwomanly. Libbie herself has such peace shining on her face that it almost makes her beautiful as she offers the services of a daughter to Franky's mother, who is no longer a desolate lonely orphan, a stranger on the earth.

 

Do you ever read the moral, concluding sentence of a story? I never do, but I once (in the year 1811, I think) heard of a deaf old lady, living by herself, who did; and as she may have left some descendants with the same amiable peculiarity, I will put in, for their benefit, what I believe to be the secret of Libbie's peace of mind, the real reason why she no longer feels oppressed at her own loneliness in the world,—

Do you ever read the moral, final sentence of a story? I never do, but I once (in 1811, I think) heard about a deaf old lady who lived alone and did; and since she might have passed down this same unique trait to her descendants, I will share what I believe to be the key to Libbie's peace of mind, the actual reason why she no longer feels burdened by her loneliness in the world,—

 

She has a purpose in life; and that purpose is a holy one.

She has a purpose in life, and that purpose is a sacred one.

 

 


 

CHRISTMAS STORMS AND SUNSHINE.

 

In the town of —— (no matter where) there circulated two local newspapers (no matter when). Now the Flying Post was long established and respectable—alias bigoted and Tory; the Examiner was spirited and intelligent—alias new-fangled and democratic. Every week these newspapers contained articles abusing each other; as cross and peppery as articles could be, and evidently the production of irritated minds, although they seemed to have one stereotyped commencement,—"Though the article appearing in last week's Post (or Examiner) is below contempt, yet we have been induced," &c., &c., and every Saturday the Radical shopkeepers shook hands together, and agreed that the Post was done for, by the slashing, clever Examiner; while the more dignified Tories began by regretting that Johnson should think that low paper, only read by a few of the vulgar, worth wasting his wit upon; however the Examiner was at its last gasp.

In the town of Understood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize. (regardless of the location) there were two local newspapers (regardless of the time). The Flying Post was well-established and respectable—also known as narrow-minded and conservative; the Examiner was lively and sharp—also referred to as trendy and democratic. Each week, these newspapers featured articles criticizing each other; as contentious and fiery as articles could be, clearly stemming from frustrated minds, even though they seemed to have one standard opening,—"Though the article in last week's Post (or Examiner) is beneath consideration, we have been compelled," & c., & c., and every Saturday the radical shopkeepers shook hands and agreed that the Post was finished, thanks to the biting, clever Examiner; meanwhile, the more dignified conservatives lamented that Johnson would waste his talent on such a lowly publication, read only by a handful of the common folks; however, the Examiner was on its last legs.

It was not though. It lived and flourished; at least it paid its way, as one of the heroes of my story could tell. He was chief compositor, or whatever title may be given to the head-man of the mechanical part of a newspaper. He hardly confined himself to that department. Once or twice, unknown to the editor, when the manuscript had fallen short, he had filled up the vacant space by compositions of his own; announcements of a forthcoming crop of green peas in December; a grey thrush having been seen, or a white hare, or such interesting phenomena; invented for the occasion, I must confess; but what of that? His wife always knew when to expect a little specimen of her husband's literary talent by a peculiar cough, which served as prelude; and, judging from this encouraging sign, and the high-pitched and emphatic voice in which he read them, she was inclined to think, that an "Ode to an early Rose-bud," in the corner devoted to original poetry, and a letter in the correspondence department, signed "Pro Bono Publico," were her husband's writing, and to hold up her head accordingly.

It wasn't like that. It thrived and prospered; at least, it paid for itself, as one of the key figures in my story could explain. He was the chief compositor, or whatever title you want to give to the head of the mechanical side of a newspaper. He barely stuck to just that department. Occasionally, without the editor knowing, when the manuscript fell short, he would fill in the empty space with his own pieces; announcements about an upcoming harvest of green peas in December, a grey thrush seen, or a white hare, or other such intriguing happenings; made up for the moment, I must admit; but so what? His wife always knew when to expect a little display of her husband’s literary flair by a unique cough that served as a signal; and, judging by this encouraging sign and the high-pitched and emphatic way he read them, she was inclined to think that an "Ode to an Early Rosebud," in the section for original poetry, and a letter in the correspondence section, signed "Pro Bono Publico," were her husband's work, and felt proud because of it.

I never could find out what it was that occasioned the Hodgsons to lodge in the same house as the Jenkinses. Jenkins held the same office in the Tory paper as Hodgson did in the Examiner, and, as I said before, I leave you to give it a name. But Jenkins had a proper sense of his position, and a proper reverence for all in authority, from the king down to the editor and sub-editor. He would as soon have thought of borrowing the king's crown for a nightcap, or the king's sceptre for a walking-stick, as he would have thought of filling up any spare corner with any production of his own; and I think it would have even added to his contempt of Hodgson (if that were possible), had he known of the "productions of his brain," as the latter fondly alluded to the paragraphs he inserted, when speaking to his wife.

I could never figure out why the Hodgsons ended up living in the same house as the Jenkinses. Jenkins had the same position in the Tory paper as Hodgson did in the Examiner, and, as I mentioned before, I’ll let you come up with a name for that. But Jenkins understood his status and respected all authority, from the king down to the editor and sub-editor. He would have thought about borrowing the king's crown for a nightcap or the king's scepter for a walking stick just as soon as he would have considered filling any empty space with anything he created himself. I think it would have only increased his disdain for Hodgson (if that was even possible) if he had known about the "productions of his brain," as Hodgson liked to call the paragraphs he added when talking to his wife.

Jenkins had his wife too. Wives were wanting to finish the completeness of the quarrel, which existed one memorable Christmas week, some dozen years ago, between the two neighbours, the two compositors. And with wives, it was a very pretty, a very complete quarrel. To make the opposing parties still more equal, still more well-matched, if the Hodgsons had a baby ("such a baby!—a poor, puny little thing"), Mrs. Jenkins had a cat ("such a cat! a great, nasty, miowling tom-cat, that was always stealing the milk put by for little Angel's supper"). And now, having matched Greek with Greek, I must proceed to the tug of war. It was the day before Christmas; such a cold east wind! such an inky sky! such a blue-black look in people's faces, as they were driven out more than usual, to complete their purchases for the next day's festival.

Jenkins had his wife too. Wives wanted to wrap up the ongoing feud that had started one memorable Christmas week, about a dozen years ago, between the two neighbors, the two typesetters. And with the wives involved, it became a pretty intense and complete conflict. To make the rival parties even more equal and evenly matched, while the Hodgsons had a baby ("such a baby!—a poor, tiny little thing"), Mrs. Jenkins had a cat ("such a cat! a huge, troublesome tomcat that was always stealing milk set aside for little Angel's dinner"). And now that we had matched like with like, I have to get to the main event. It was the day before Christmas; what a cold east wind! what a dark sky! what a gloomy look on people's faces as they rushed out more than usual to finish their shopping for the next day's celebration.

Before leaving home that morning, Jenkins had given some money to his wife to buy the next day's dinner.

Before leaving home that morning, Jenkins had given some money to his wife to buy dinner for the next day.

"My dear, I wish for turkey and sausages. It may be a weakness, but I own I am partial to sausages. My deceased mother was. Such tastes are hereditary. As to the sweets—whether plum-pudding or mince-pies—I leave such considerations to you; I only beg you not to mind expense. Christmas comes but once a year."

"My dear, I want turkey and sausages. It might be a weakness, but I admit I really like sausages. My late mother did too. These tastes run in the family. As for the desserts—whether it's plum pudding or mince pies—I’ll leave those choices up to you; I just ask that you don’t worry about the cost. Christmas comes only once a year."

And again he had called out from the bottom of the first flight of stairs, just close to the Hodgsons' door ("such ostentatiousness," as Mrs. Hodgson observed), "You will not forget the sausages, my dear?"

And once more he shouted from the bottom of the first flight of stairs, right by the Hodgsons' door (“so showy,” as Mrs. Hodgson remarked), “You won't forget the sausages, dear?”

"I should have liked to have had something above common, Mary," said Hodgson, as they too made their plans for the next day, "but I think roast beef must do for us. You see, love, we've a family."

"I would have liked to have something special, Mary," said Hodgson, as they also made their plans for the next day, "but I think roast beef will have to work for us. You see, dear, we have a family."

"Only one, Jem! I don't want more than roast beef, though, I'm sure. Before I went to service, mother and me would have thought roast beef a very fine dinner."

"Just one, Jem! I don't want more than roast beef, though I'm sure. Before I went into service, my mom and I would have thought roast beef was a really nice dinner."

"Well, let's settle it then, roast beef and a plum-pudding; and now, good-by. Mind and take care of little Tom. I thought he was a bit hoarse this morning."

"Alright, let's go with roast beef and a plum pudding; and now, goodbye. Make sure to look after little Tom. I noticed he was a little hoarse this morning."

And off he went to his work.

And off he went to his job.

Now, it was a good while since Mrs. Jenkins and Mrs. Hodgson had spoken to each other, although they were quite as much in possession of the knowledge of events and opinions as though they did. Mary knew that Mrs. Jenkins despised her for not having a real lace cap, which Mrs. Jenkins had; and for having been a servant, which Mrs. Jenkins had not; and the little occasional pinchings which the Hodgsons were obliged to resort to, to make both ends meet, would have been very patiently endured by Mary, if she had not winced under Mrs. Jenkins's knowledge of such economy. But she had her revenge. She had a child, and Mrs. Jenkins had none. To have had a child, even such a puny baby as little Tom, Mrs. Jenkins would have worn commonest caps, and cleaned grates, and drudged her fingers to the bone. The great unspoken disappointment of her life soured her temper, and turned her thoughts inward, and made her morbid and selfish.

Now, it had been quite a while since Mrs. Jenkins and Mrs. Hodgson had talked to each other, even though they were just as aware of events and opinions as if they did. Mary knew that Mrs. Jenkins looked down on her for not having a real lace cap, which Mrs. Jenkins did have, and for having been a servant, something Mrs. Jenkins had never been. The occasional financial struggles that the Hodgsons had to deal with would have been bearable for Mary if she hadn’t felt Mrs. Jenkins’s judgment about such tight budgeting. But she had her revenge. She had a child, and Mrs. Jenkins had none. Even with a frail baby like little Tom, Mrs. Jenkins would have worn the simplest caps, cleaned grates, and worked her fingers to the bone to have a child. The deep, unspoken disappointment of her life made her bitter, turned her thoughts inward, and made her morbid and selfish.

"Hang that cat! he's been stealing again! he's gnawed the cold mutton in his nasty mouth till it's not fit to set before a Christian; and I've nothing else for Jem's dinner. But I'll give it him now I've caught him, that I will!"

"Hang that cat! He's been stealing again! He's gnawed the cold mutton in his dirty mouth until it's not fit to serve to anyone decent; and I have nothing else for Jem's dinner. But I'll give it to him now that I've caught him, that I will!"

So saying, Mary Hodgson caught up her husband's Sunday cane, and despite pussy's cries and scratches, she gave him such a beating as she hoped might cure him of his thievish propensities; when lo! and behold, Mrs. Jenkins stood at the door with a face of bitter wrath.

So saying, Mary Hodgson grabbed her husband's Sunday cane, and despite the cat's cries and scratches, she gave him a beating that she hoped would cure him of his stealing habits; when suddenly, Mrs. Jenkins appeared at the door with a face full of anger.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself, ma'am, to abuse a poor dumb animal, ma'am, as knows no better than to take food when he sees it, ma'am? He only follows the nature which God has given, ma'am; and it's a pity your nature, ma'am, which I've heard, is of the stingy saving species, does not make you shut your cupboard-door a little closer. There is such a thing as law for brute animals. I'll ask Mr. Jenkins, but I don't think them Radicals has done away with that law yet, for all their Reform Bill, ma'am. My poor precious love of a Tommy, is he hurt? and is his leg broke for taking a mouthful of scraps, as most people would give away to a beggar,—if he'd take 'em?" wound up Mrs. Jenkins, casting a contemptuous look on the remnant of a scrag end of mutton.

"Aren't you ashamed of yourself, ma'am, for mistreating a poor, innocent animal who doesn't know any better than to take food when he sees it? He is just following the instincts that God has given him, ma'am; and it's a shame that your nature, ma'am, which I've heard is quite stingy, doesn't lead you to keep your cupboard door closed a little tighter. There are laws protecting animals. I'll ask Mr. Jenkins, but I don’t think those Radicals have gotten rid of that law yet, despite their Reform Bill, ma'am. Is my dear Tommy hurt? Did he break his leg just for grabbing a bite of scraps, which most people would give away to a beggar—if he’d accept them?" concluded Mrs. Jenkins, casting a disdainful glance at the leftover piece of mutton.

Mary felt very angry and very guilty. For she really pitied the poor limping animal as he crept up to his mistress, and there lay down to bemoan himself; she wished she had not beaten him so hard, for it certainly was her own careless way of never shutting the cupboard-door that had tempted him to his fault. But the sneer at her little bit of mutton turned her penitence to fresh wrath, and she shut the door in Mrs. Jenkins's face, as she stood caressing her cat in the lobby, with such a bang, that it wakened little Tom, and he began to cry.

Mary felt really angry and guilty. She truly felt sorry for the poor limping animal as he crawled up to her and lay down to sulk; she wished she hadn't hit him so hard, because it was definitely her carelessness in never shutting the cupboard door that had led to his mistake. But seeing the snarky look at her small piece of mutton turned her regret into more anger, and she slammed the door in Mrs. Jenkins's face as she was pampering her cat in the hallway, with such a loud bang that it woke little Tom, who started to cry.

Everything was to go wrong with Mary to-day. Now baby was awake, who was to take her husband's dinner to the office? She took the child in her arms, and tried to hush him off to sleep again, and as she sung she cried, she could hardly tell why,—a sort of reaction from her violent angry feelings. She wished she had never beaten the poor cat; she wondered if his leg was really broken. What would her mother say if she knew how cross and cruel her little Mary was getting? If she should live to beat her child in one of her angry fits?

Everything was going to go wrong for Mary today. Now that the baby was awake, who would take her husband's dinner to the office? She picked up the child and tried to rock him back to sleep, and as she sang, she cried, not really sure why—a sort of reaction to her intense angry feelings. She wished she had never hit the poor cat; she wondered if its leg was really broken. What would her mother say if she knew how grumpy and mean her little Mary was becoming? What if she ended up hitting her own child in one of her angry outbursts?

It was of no use lullabying while she sobbed so; it must be given up, and she must just carry her baby in her arms, and take him with her to the office, for it was long past dinner-time. So she pared the mutton carefully, although by so doing she reduced the meat to an infinitesimal quantity, and taking the baked potatoes out of the oven, she popped them piping hot into her basket with the et-cæteras of plate, butter, salt, and knife and fork.

It was pointless to sing a lullaby while she was crying so hard; she had to stop and just carry her baby in her arms and take him with her to the office, since it was well past dinner time. So, she carefully cut the mutton, even though that meant there was hardly any meat left, and taking the baked potatoes out of the oven, she put them in her basket while they were still hot, along with the plate, butter, salt, and knife and fork.

It was, indeed, a bitter wind. She bent against it as she ran, and the flakes of snow were sharp and cutting as ice. Baby cried all the way, though she cuddled him up in her shawl. Then her husband had made his appetite up for a potato pie, and (literary man as he was) his body got so much the better of his mind, that he looked rather black at the cold mutton. Mary had no appetite for her own dinner when she arrived at home again. So, after she had tried to feed baby, and he had fretfully refused to take his bread and milk, she laid him down as usual on his quilt, surrounded by playthings, while she sided away, and chopped suet for the next day's pudding. Early in the afternoon a parcel came, done up first in brown paper, then in such a white, grass-bleached, sweet-smelling towel, and a note from her dear, dear mother; in which quaint writing she endeavoured to tell her daughter that she was not forgotten at Christmas time; but that learning that Farmer Burton was killing his pig, she had made interest for some of his famous pork, out of which she had manufactured some sausages, and flavoured them just as Mary used to like when she lived at home.

It was definitely a bitter wind. She leaned into it as she ran, and the snowflakes felt sharp and piercing like ice. The baby cried the whole way, even though she held him close in her shawl. Her husband had gotten fixated on a potato pie, and even though he was a literary man, his body got the better of his mind, making him frown at the cold mutton. Mary didn’t have much of an appetite for her own dinner when she finally got home. After trying to feed the baby, who fussily refused his bread and milk, she laid him down on his quilt, surrounded by toys, while she moved away to chop suet for the next day's pudding. Early in the afternoon, a package arrived, wrapped first in brown paper and then in a soft, white, sweet-smelling towel, along with a note from her dear, dear mother. In her unique handwriting, she tried to tell her daughter that she hadn’t been forgotten at Christmas; learning that Farmer Burton was slaughtering his pig, she had arranged for some of his famous pork and made sausages flavored just the way Mary liked when she lived at home.

"Dear, dear mother!" said Mary to herself. "There never was any one like her for remembering other folk. What rare sausages she used to make! Home things have a smack with 'em, no bought things can ever have. Set them up with their sausages! I've a notion if Mrs. Jenkins had ever tasted mother's she'd have no fancy for them town-made things Fanny took in just now."

"Dear, dear mom!" Mary said to herself. "There’s no one like her for remembering other people. What amazing sausages she used to make! Homemade stuff has a special taste that store-bought things just can't match. Set them up with their sausages! I bet if Mrs. Jenkins had ever tried my mom's, she wouldn't even like those store-made ones Fanny just brought in."

And so she went on thinking about home, till the smiles and the dimples came out again at the remembrance of that pretty cottage, which would look green even now in the depth of winter, with its pyracanthus, and its holly-bushes, and the great Portugal laurel that was her mother's pride. And the back path through the orchard to Farmer Burton's; how well she remembered it. The bushels of unripe apples she had picked up there, and distributed among his pigs, till he had scolded her for giving them so much green trash.

And so she kept thinking about home, until she was smiling again at the memory of that lovely cottage, which would still look green even in the depths of winter, with its firethorn, holly bushes, and the big Portugal laurel that her mom cherished. And the path through the orchard to Farmer Burton's—she remembered it so well. The bushels of unripe apples she had picked up there and shared with his pigs, until he had scolded her for giving them so much green junk.

She was interrupted—her baby (I call him a baby, because his father and mother did, and because he was so little of his age, but I rather think he was eighteen months old,) had fallen asleep some time before among his playthings; an uneasy, restless sleep; but of which Mary had been thankful, as his morning's nap had been too short, and as she was so busy. But now he began to make such a strange crowing noise, just like a chair drawn heavily and gratingly along a kitchen-floor! His eyes were open, but expressive of nothing but pain.

She was interrupted—her baby (I call him a baby because that's what his parents did, and since he was so small for his age, but I think he was actually eighteen months old) had fallen asleep a little while ago among his toys; it was an uneasy, restless sleep, but Mary was grateful for it since his morning nap had been too short and she was so busy. But now he started making this strange crowing noise, kind of like a chair being dragged roughly across a kitchen floor! His eyes were open, but showed nothing but pain.

"Mother's darling!" said Mary, in terror, lifting him up. "Baby, try not to make that noise. Hush, hush, darling; what hurts him?" But the noise came worse and worse.

"Mommy's little one!" Mary exclaimed in fear, picking him up. "Baby, please try not to make that noise. Shh, shh, sweetie; what hurts him?" But the noise got louder and louder.

"Fanny! Fanny!" Mary called in mortal fright, for her baby was almost black with his gasping breath, and she had no one to ask for aid or sympathy but her landlady's daughter, a little girl of twelve or thirteen, who attended to the house in her mother's absence, as daily cook in gentlemen's families. Fanny was more especially considered the attendant of the upstairs lodgers (who paid for the use of the kitchen, "for Jenkins could not abide the smell of meat cooking"), but just now she was fortunately sitting at her afternoon's work of darning stockings, and hearing Mrs. Hodgson's cry of terror, she ran to her sitting-room, and understood the case at a glance.

"Fanny! Fanny!" Mary shouted in extreme fear, because her baby was almost black from gasping for breath, and she had no one to turn to for help or comfort except her landlady's daughter, a girl around twelve or thirteen, who took care of the house while her mother was away, working as a daily cook for families. Fanny was especially seen as the helper for the upstairs tenants (who paid to use the kitchen since Jenkins couldn't stand the smell of cooking meat), but luckily, she was currently sitting down to do her afternoon task of darning stockings. When she heard Mrs. Hodgson's terrified cry, she rushed into the sitting room and quickly understood what was happening.

"He's got the croup! Oh, Mrs. Hodgson, he'll die as sure as fate. Little brother had it, and he died in no time. The doctor said he could do nothing for him—it had gone too far. He said if we'd put him in a warm bath at first, it might have saved him; but, bless you! he was never half so bad as your baby." Unconsciously there mingled in her statement some of a child's love of producing an effect; but the increasing danger was clear enough.

"He's got the croup! Oh, Mrs. Hodgson, he’ll die for sure. Little brother had it, and he passed away in no time. The doctor said he couldn’t do anything for him—it had progressed too far. He said if we had put him in a warm bath at first, it might have saved him; but honestly! he was never anywhere near as bad as your baby." Unconsciously, there was a hint of a child's desire to make an impact in her words; but the growing danger was obvious enough.

"Oh, my baby! my baby! Oh, love, love! don't look so ill; I cannot bear it. And my fire so low! There, I was thinking of home, and picking currants, and never minding the fire. Oh, Fanny! what is the fire like in the kitchen? Speak."

"Oh, my baby! my baby! Oh, love, love! don't look so sick; I can't handle it. And my fire is so low! There, I was thinking about home and picking currants, not paying attention to the fire. Oh, Fanny! what’s the fire like in the kitchen? Please tell me."

"Mother told me to screw it up, and throw some slack on as soon as Mrs. Jenkins had done with it, and so I did. It's very low and black. But, oh, Mrs. Hodgson! let me run for the doctor—I cannot abear to hear him, it's so like little brother."

"Mom told me to mess it up and add some looseness as soon as Mrs. Jenkins was finished with it, and that’s what I did. It's very low and dark. But, oh, Mrs. Hodgson! Let me go get the doctor—I can't stand to hear it, it reminds me so much of little brother."

Through her streaming tears Mary motioned her to go; and trembling, sinking, sick at heart, she laid her boy in his cradle, and ran to fill her kettle.

Through her streaming tears, Mary gestured for her to leave; feeling shaky, overwhelmed, and heartbroken, she placed her boy in his crib and hurried to fill her kettle.

Mrs. Jenkins, having cooked her husband's snug little dinner, to which he came home; having told him her story of pussy's beating, at which he was justly and dignifiedly indignant, saying it was all of a piece with that abusive Examiner; having received the sausages, and turkey, and mince pies, which her husband had ordered; and cleaned up the room, and prepared everything for tea, and coaxed and duly bemoaned her cat (who had pretty nearly forgotten his beating, but very much enjoyed the petting), having done all these and many other things, Mrs. Jenkins sate down to get up the real lace cap. Every thread was pulled out separately, and carefully stretched: when, what was that? Outside, in the street, a chorus of piping children's voices sang the old carol she had heard a hundred times in the days of her youth:—

Mrs. Jenkins, after cooking her husband's cozy little dinner, which he came home to; after telling him the story of her cat getting beaten, and he felt justifiably and calmly outraged, saying it was all part of the abusive Examiner; after receiving the sausages, turkey, and mince pies that her husband had ordered; and cleaning up the room, getting everything ready for tea, and gently comforting and lamenting her cat (who had nearly forgotten about the beating but really enjoyed the attention), having done all these and many other things, Mrs. Jenkins sat down to prepare the real lace cap. Every thread was pulled out separately and carefully stretched: when, what was that? Outside, in the street, a chorus of piping children's voices sang the old carol she had heard a hundred times in her youth:—

"As Joseph was a walking he heard an angel sing,
'This night shall be born our heavenly King.
 He neither shall be born in housen nor in hall,
 Nor in the place of Paradise, but in an ox's stall.
 He neither shall be clothed in purple nor in pall,
 But all in fair linen, as were babies all:
 He neither shall be rocked in silver nor in gold,
 But in a wooden cradle that rocks on the mould,'" &c.

"As Joseph walked, he heard an angel sing,
'Tonight our heavenly King will be born.
 He won't be born in houses or in halls,
 Nor in Paradise, but in an ox's stable.
 He won’t be dressed in purple or fine cloth,
 But in simple linen, like all babies are:
 He won't be rocked in silver or gold,
 But in a wooden cradle that rocks in the dirt,'" &c.

She got up and went to the window. There, below, stood the group of grey black little figures, relieved against the snow, which now enveloped everything. "For old sake's sake," as she phrased it, she counted out a halfpenny apiece for the singers, out of the copper bag, and threw them down below.

She got up and went to the window. Below her, there was a group of small gray and black figures, standing out against the snow that now covered everything. "For old times' sake," as she put it, she counted out a halfpenny each for the singers from the coin bag and tossed the coins down to them.

The room had become chilly while she had been counting out and throwing down her money, so she stirred her already glowing fire, and sat down right before it—but not to stretch her lace; like Mary Hodgson, she began to think over long-past days, on softening remembrances of the dead and gone, on words long forgotten, on holy stories heard at her mother's knee.

The room had gotten chilly while she had been counting out and tossing her money, so she rekindled her already glowing fire and sat down right in front of it—but not to warm her feet; like Mary Hodgson, she started to reflect on days gone by, on tender memories of those who were no longer here, on words long lost, and on sacred stories she heard from her mother.

"I cannot think what's come over me to-night," said she, half aloud, recovering herself by the sound of her own voice from her train of thought—"My head goes wandering on them old times. I'm sure more texts have come into my head with thinking on my mother within this last half hour, than I've thought on for years and years. I hope I'm not going to die. Folks say, thinking too much on the dead betokens we're going to join 'em; I should be loth to go just yet—such a fine turkey as we've got for dinner to-morrow, too!"

"I can’t believe what’s happening to me tonight," she said aloud, snapping back to reality with the sound of her own voice—"My mind keeps drifting to the past. I’m sure I’ve thought of more memories of my mother in the last half hour than I have in years. I really hope I’m not about to die. People say that thinking too much about the dead means we’re going to join them; I wouldn’t want to go just yet—especially with such a great turkey we have for dinner tomorrow!"

Knock, knock, knock, at the door, as fast as knuckles could go. And then, as if the comer could not wait, the door was opened, and Mary Hodgson stood there as white as death.

Knock, knock, knock at the door, as fast as knuckles could go. Then, as if the visitor couldn't wait, the door opened, and Mary Hodgson stood there as pale as a ghost.

"Mrs. Jenkins!—oh, your kettle is boiling, thank God! Let me have the water for my baby, for the love of God! He's got croup, and is dying!"

"Mrs. Jenkins!—oh, your kettle is boiling, thank God! Please give me the water for my baby, for the love of God! He has croup and is dying!"

Mrs. Jenkins turned on her chair with a wooden inflexible look on her face, that (between ourselves) her husband knew and dreaded for all his pompous dignity.

Mrs. Jenkins turned in her chair with a stiff, wooden expression on her face, one that (just between us) her husband recognized and feared despite all his self-importance.

"I'm sorry I can't oblige you, ma'am; my kettle is wanted for my husband's tea. Don't be afeared, Tommy, Mrs. Hodgson won't venture to intrude herself where she's not desired. You'd better send for the doctor, ma'am, instead of wasting your time in wringing your hands, ma'am—my kettle is engaged."

"I'm sorry I can't help you, ma'am; my kettle is needed for my husband's tea. Don’t worry, Tommy, Mrs. Hodgson won’t come where she’s not wanted. You should call for the doctor, ma'am, instead of wasting your time fretting—my kettle is in use."

Mary clasped her hands together with passionate force, but spoke no word of entreaty to that wooden face—that sharp, determined voice; but, as she turned away, she prayed for strength to bear the coming trial, and strength to forgive Mrs. Jenkins.

Mary pressed her hands together tightly, feeling intense emotion, but didn’t say a word to that unreadable expression or that sharp, resolute voice. As she turned away, she prayed for strength to face the upcoming challenge and for the ability to forgive Mrs. Jenkins.

Mrs. Jenkins watched her go away meekly, as one who has no hope, and then she turned upon herself as sharply as she ever did on any one else.

Mrs. Jenkins watched her walk away quietly, like someone with no hope, and then she turned on herself just as harshly as she ever did on anyone else.

"What a brute I am, Lord forgive me! What's my husband's tea to a baby's life? In croup, too, where time is everything. You crabbed old vixen, you!—any one may know you never had a child!"

"What a terrible person I am, Lord forgive me! What’s my husband’s tea compared to a baby’s life? Especially in croup, where every second counts. You nasty old woman, you! Anyone can see you've never had a child!"

She was down stairs (kettle in hand) before she had finished her self-upbraiding; and when in Mrs. Hodgson's room, she rejected all thanks (Mary had not the voice for many words), saying, stiffly, "I do it for the poor babby's sake, ma'am, hoping he may live to have mercy to poor dumb beasts, if he does forget to lock his cupboards."

She was downstairs (kettle in hand) before she had finished scolding herself; and when she entered Mrs. Hodgson's room, she brushed off any thanks (Mary didn't have the energy for many words), saying, stiffly, "I’m doing this for the poor baby's sake, ma'am, hoping he may grow up to have mercy on poor dumb animals, even if he forgets to lock his cupboards."

But she did everything, and more than Mary, with her young inexperience, could have thought of. She prepared the warm bath, and tried it with her husband's own thermometer (Mr. Jenkins was as punctual as clockwork in noting down the temperature of every day). She let his mother place her baby in the tub, still preserving the same rigid, affronted aspect, and then she went upstairs without a word. Mary longed to ask her to stay, but dared not; though, when she left the room, the tears chased each other down her cheeks faster than ever. Poor young mother! how she counted the minutes till the doctor should come. But, before he came, down again stalked Mrs. Jenkins, with something in her hand.

But she did everything, and even more than Mary, with her young inexperience, could have imagined. She prepared the warm bath and checked the temperature with her husband’s thermometer (Mr. Jenkins was as punctual as clockwork in recording the temperature every day). She let his mother place her baby in the tub, still wearing the same rigid, offended look, and then she went upstairs without saying a word. Mary wanted to ask her to stay but didn’t have the courage; however, when she left the room, tears streamed down her cheeks faster than ever. Poor young mother! How she counted the minutes until the doctor would arrive. But before he came, Mrs. Jenkins came back down, holding something in her hand.

"I've seen many of these croup-fits, which, I take it, you've not, ma'am. Mustard plaisters is very sovereign, put on the throat; I've been up and made one, ma'am, and, by your leave, I'll put it on the poor little fellow."

"I've seen a lot of these croup fits, which I assume you haven't, ma'am. Mustard plasters are really effective when placed on the throat; I've even made one, ma'am, and, with your permission, I'll apply it to the poor little guy."

Mary could not speak, but she signed her grateful assent.

Mary couldn't speak, but she signed her thankful agreement.

It began to smart while they still kept silence; and he looked up to his mother as if seeking courage from her looks to bear the stinging pain; but she was softly crying, to see him suffer, and her want of courage reacted upon him, and he began to sob aloud. Instantly Mrs. Jenkins's apron was up, hiding her face: "Peep-bo, baby," said she, as merrily as she could. His little face brightened, and his mother having once got the cue, the two women kept the little fellow amused, until his plaister had taken effect.

It started to sting while they remained silent; and he glanced up at his mother as if hoping to find the strength in her expression to handle the sharp pain; but she was quietly crying, feeling his pain, and her lack of strength affected him, causing him to cry out loud. Immediately, Mrs. Jenkins raised her apron to cover her face: "Peek-a-boo, baby," she said as cheerfully as she could. His little face lit up, and once his mother got the idea, the two women kept him entertained until his bandage began to work.

"He's better,—oh, Mrs. Jenkins, look at his eyes! how different! And he breathes quite softly——"

"He's doing better—oh, Mrs. Jenkins, look at his eyes! They're so different! And he breathes really softlyUnderstood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize."

As Mary spoke thus, the doctor entered. He examined his patient. Baby was really better.

As Mary was speaking, the doctor walked in. He checked on his patient. The baby was definitely getting better.

"It has been a sharp attack, but the remedies you have applied have been worth all the Pharmacopœia an hour later.—I shall send a powder," &c. &c.

"It has been a strong attack, but the treatments you've used have been worth all the medical references an hour later.—I will send a powder," & c. & c.

Mrs. Jenkins stayed to hear this opinion; and (her heart wonderfully more easy) was going to leave the room, when Mary seized her hand and kissed it; she could not speak her gratitude.

Mrs. Jenkins stayed to hear this opinion; and (her heart feeling much lighter) was about to leave the room when Mary grabbed her hand and kissed it; she couldn't express her gratitude.

Mrs. Jenkins looked affronted and awkward, and as if she must go upstairs and wash her hand directly.

Mrs. Jenkins looked offended and uncomfortable, as if she had to go upstairs and wash her hands right away.

But, in spite of these sour looks, she came softly down an hour or so afterwards to see how baby was.

But despite the disapproving expressions, she quietly came downstairs an hour or so later to check on the baby.

The little gentleman slept well after the fright he had given his friends; and on Christmas morning, when Mary awoke and looked at the sweet little pale face lying on her arm, she could hardly realize the danger he had been in.

The little guy slept soundly after the scare he had given his friends; and on Christmas morning, when Mary woke up and looked at the sweet little pale face resting on her arm, she could hardly believe the danger he had faced.

When she came down (later than usual), she found the household in a commotion. What do you think had happened? Why, pussy had been a traitor to his best friend, and eaten up some of Mr. Jenkins's own especial sausages; and gnawed and tumbled the rest so, that they were not fit to be eaten! There were no bounds to that cat's appetite! he would have eaten his own father if he had been tender enough. And now Mrs. Jenkins stormed and cried—"Hang the cat!"

When she came down (later than usual), she found the house in chaos. What do you think had happened? Well, the cat had betrayed his best friend and eaten some of Mr. Jenkins's special sausages; and chewed and messed up the rest so much that they were no longer edible! There was no limit to that cat's appetite! He would have eaten his own dad if he had been tender enough. And now Mrs. Jenkins was fuming and shouting—"Hang the cat!"

Christmas Day, too! and all the shops shut! "What was turkey without sausages?" gruffly asked Mr. Jenkins.

Christmas Day, too! and all the stores closed! "What good is turkey without sausages?" Mr. Jenkins grumbled.

"Oh, Jem!" whispered Mary, "hearken what a piece of work he's making about sausages,—I should like to take Mrs. Jenkins up some of mother's; they're twice as good as bought sausages."

"Oh, Jem!" whispered Mary, "listen to how much fuss he's making about sausages—I’d love to take some of Mom's to Mrs. Jenkins; they're way better than store-bought sausages."

"I see no objection, my dear. Sausages do not involve intimacies, else his politics are what I can no ways respect."

"I have no objections, my dear. Sausages don’t require any close relationships; otherwise, I can't respect his politics."

"But, oh, Jem, if you had seen her last night about baby! I'm sure she may scold me for ever, and I'll not answer. I'd even make her cat welcome to the sausages." The tears gathered to Mary's eyes as she kissed her boy.

"But, oh, Jem, if you had seen her last night with the baby! I'm sure she'll scold me forever, and I won't respond. I'd even let her cat have the sausages." Tears filled Mary's eyes as she kissed her boy.

"Better take 'em upstairs, my dear, and give them to the cat's mistress." And Jem chuckled at his saying.

"Better take them upstairs, my dear, and give them to the cat's owner." And Jem laughed at what he said.

Mary put them on a plate, but still she loitered.

Mary placed them on a plate, but she still lingered.

"What must I say, Jem? I never know."

"What should I say, Jem? I never know."

"Say—I hope you'll accept of these sausages, as my mother—no, that's not grammar;—say what comes uppermost, Mary, it will be sure to be right."

"Say—I hope you’ll accept these sausages from me, as my mother—no, that’s not correct;—just say whatever comes to your mind, Mary, it will definitely be right."

So Mary carried them upstairs and knocked at the door; and when told to "come in," she looked very red, but went up to Mrs. Jenkins, saying, "Please take these. Mother made them." And was away before an answer could be given.

So Mary took them upstairs and knocked on the door; when she was told to "come in," she looked really embarrassed but walked up to Mrs. Jenkins, saying, "Please take these. Mom made them." And she left before anyone could respond.

Just as Hodgson was ready to go to church, Mrs. Jenkins came downstairs, and called Fanny. In a minute, the latter entered the Hodgsons' room, and delivered Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins's compliments, and they would be particular glad if Mr. and Mrs. Hodgson would eat their dinner with them.

Just as Hodgson was about to head to church, Mrs. Jenkins came downstairs and called for Fanny. In a minute, Fanny entered the Hodgsons' room and delivered Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins's regards, saying they would be especially pleased if Mr. and Mrs. Hodgson could join them for dinner.

"And carry baby upstairs in a shawl, be sure," added Mrs. Jenkins's voice in the passage, close to the door, whither she had followed her messenger. There was no discussing the matter, with the certainty of every word being overheard.

"And take the baby upstairs in a shawl, okay?" added Mrs. Jenkins's voice from the hallway, near the door, where she had followed her messenger. There was no point in discussing it, knowing that every word could be heard.

Mary looked anxiously at her husband. She remembered his saying he did not approve of Mr. Jenkins's politics.

Mary glanced nervously at her husband. She recalled him saying he didn’t approve of Mr. Jenkins’s politics.

"Do you think it would do for baby?" asked he.

"Do you think it would be good for the baby?" he asked.

"Oh, yes," answered she, eagerly; "I would wrap him up so warm."

"Oh, yes," she replied eagerly; "I would bundle him up so warm."

"And I've got our room up to sixty-five already, for all it's so frosty," added the voice outside.

"And I've got our room up to sixty-five already, even though it's really cold," added the voice outside.

Now, how do you think they settled the matter? The very best way in the world. Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins came down into the Hodgsons' room, and dined there. Turkey at the top, roast beef at the bottom, sausages at one side, potatoes at the other. Second course, plum-pudding at the top, and mince pies at the bottom.

Now, how do you think they worked it out? The best way possible. Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins came down into the Hodgsons' room and had dinner there. Turkey on one side, roast beef on the other, sausages on one side, and potatoes on the other. For dessert, plum pudding on one side, and mince pies on the other.

And after dinner, Mrs. Jenkins would have baby on her knee; and he seemed quite to take to her; she declared he was admiring the real lace on her cap, but Mary thought (though she did not say so) that he was pleased by her kind looks and coaxing words. Then he was wrapped up and carried carefully upstairs to tea, in Mrs. Jenkins's room. And after tea, Mrs. Jenkins, and Mary, and her husband, found out each other's mutual liking for music, and sat singing old glees and catches, till I don't know what o'clock, without one word of politics or newspapers.

And after dinner, Mrs. Jenkins would have the baby on her lap, and he seemed to really like her; she said he was admiring the real lace on her cap, but Mary thought (though she didn’t say anything) that he was actually happy with her warm smile and sweet words. Then he was bundled up and carefully taken upstairs to have tea in Mrs. Jenkins's room. After tea, Mrs. Jenkins, Mary, and her husband discovered they all enjoyed music and sat singing old songs and rounds until who knows when, without discussing politics or the news at all.

Before they parted, Mary had coaxed pussy on to her knee; for Mrs. Jenkins would not part with baby, who was sleeping on her lap.

Before they said goodbye, Mary had gently coaxed the kitten onto her lap; because Mrs. Jenkins wouldn’t let go of the baby, who was sleeping in her arms.

"When you're busy, bring him to me. Do, now, it will be a real favour. I know you must have a deal to do, with another coming; let him come up to me. I'll take the greatest of cares of him; pretty darling, how sweet he looks when he's asleep!"

"When you're busy, just bring him to me. Please, it would really help. I know you have a lot going on with someone else coming over; let him come up to me. I'll take great care of him; he’s such a darling, and he looks so sweet when he’s asleep!"

When the couples were once more alone, the husbands unburdened their minds to their wives.

When the couples were alone again, the husbands shared their thoughts with their wives.

Mr. Jenkins said to his—"Do you know, Burgess tried to make me believe Hodgson was such a fool as to put paragraphs into the Examiner now and then; but I see he knows his place, and has got too much sense to do any such thing."

Mr. Jenkins said to his—"Do you know, Burgess tried to make me believe Hodgson was such a fool as to put paragraphs into the Examiner now and then; but I see he knows his place, and has got too much sense to do any such thing."

Hodgson said—"Mary, love, I almost fancy from Jenkins's way of speaking (so much civiler than I expected), he guesses I wrote that 'Pro Bono' and the 'Rose-bud,'—at any rate, I've no objection to your naming it, if the subject should come uppermost; I should like him to know I'm a literary man."

Hodgson said, "Mary, I almost feel like Jenkins is guessing that I wrote 'Pro Bono' and the 'Rose-bud' based on how politely he’s talking to me, which is more civil than I expected. Anyway, I have no problem with you mentioning it if the topic comes up; I’d like him to know I’m a writer."

Well! I've ended my tale; I hope you don't think it too long; but, before I go, just let me say one thing.

Well! I've finished my story; I hope you don't think it's too long; but before I leave, let me say one thing.

If any of you have any quarrels, or misunderstandings, or coolnesses, or cold shoulders, or shynesses, or tiffs, or miffs, or huffs, with any one else, just make friends before Christmas,—you will be so much merrier if you do.

If any of you have any arguments, misunderstandings, tense feelings, or awkwardness with anyone else, just make up before Christmas—you’ll feel so much happier if you do.

I ask it of you for the sake of that old angelic song, heard so many years ago by the shepherds, keeping watch by night, on Bethlehem Heights.

I ask you for the sake of that old angelic song, heard so many years ago by the shepherds keeping watch at night on Bethlehem Heights.

 


 

 

HAND AND HEART.

 

"Mother, I should so like to have a great deal of money," said little Tom Fletcher one evening, as he sat on a low stool by his mother's knee. His mother was knitting busily by the firelight, and they had both been silent for some time.

"Mom, I really wish I had a lot of money," said little Tom Fletcher one evening, as he sat on a small stool by his mom's knee. His mom was busy knitting in the firelight, and they had both been quiet for a while.

"What would you do with a great deal of money if you had it?"

"What would you do with a lot of money if you had it?"

"Oh! I don't know—I would do a great many things. But should not you like to have a great deal of money, mother?" persisted he.

"Oh! I don't know—I would do a lot of things. But wouldn't you like to have a lot of money, Mom?" he pressed.

"Perhaps I should," answered Mrs. Fletcher. "I am like you sometimes, dear, and think that I should be very glad of a little more money. But then I don't think I am like you in one thing, for I have always some little plan in my mind, for which I should want the money. I never wish for it just for its own sake."

"Maybe I should," replied Mrs. Fletcher. "I can be like you sometimes, dear, and I do think I’d be really happy to have a bit more money. But I don’t think I’m like you in one way—I always have some little plan in mind that I’d want the money for. I never wish for it just for the sake of having it."

"Why, mother! there are so many things we could do if we had but money;—real good, wise things I mean."

"Why, Mom! There are so many things we could do if we just had some money;—really good, smart things, I mean."

"And if we have real good, wise things in our head to do, which cannot be done without money, I can quite enter into the wish for money. But you know, my little boy, you did not tell me of any good or wise thing."

"And if we have really good, smart ideas in our heads to accomplish, which can't be done without money, I can totally understand wanting money. But you know, my little boy, you didn't mention any good or smart idea."

"No! I believe I was not thinking of good or wise things just then, but only how much I should like money to do what I liked," answered little Tom ingenuously, looking up in his mother's face. She smiled down upon him, and stroked his head. He knew she was pleased with him for having told her openly what was passing in his mind. Presently he began again.

"No! I don’t think I was thinking about good or wise things just then, but only how much I wanted money to do what I liked," replied little Tom honestly, looking up at his mom. She smiled down at him and stroked his head. He knew she was happy with him for sharing what was on his mind. Soon, he started again.

"Mother, if you wanted to do something very good and wise, and if you could not do it without money, what should you do?"

"Mom, if you wanted to do something really good and smart, and you needed money to make it happen, what should you do?"

"There are two ways of obtaining money for such wants; one is by earning; and the other is by saving. Now both are good, because both imply self-denial. Do you understand me, Tom? If you have to earn money, you must steadily go on doing what you do not like perhaps; such as working when you would like to be playing, or in bed, or sitting talking with me over the fire. You deny yourself these little pleasures; and that is a good habit in itself, to say nothing of the industry and energy you have to exert in working. If you save money, you can easily see how you exercise self-denial. You do without something you wish for in order to possess the money it would have cost. Inasmuch as self-denial, energy, and industry are all good things, you do well either to earn or to save. But you see the purpose for which you want the money must be taken into consideration. You say, for 'something wise and good.' Either earning or saving becomes holy in this case. I must then think which will be most consistent with my other duties, before I decide whether I will earn or save money."

"There are two ways to get money for what you need: one is by earning it, and the other is by saving it. Both methods are good because they involve self-discipline. Do you see what I mean, Tom? If you have to earn money, you have to keep doing things you might not enjoy, like working when you’d rather be playing, resting in bed, or chatting with me by the fire. You’re giving up those little pleasures, which is a good habit in itself, not to mention the effort and energy you have to put into working. When you save money, it’s clear how you practice self-denial. You go without something you want so you can have the money it would have cost you. Since self-discipline, energy, and hard work are all positive traits, you’re doing well whether you earn or save. But you need to consider the purpose for which you want the money. You say it’s for 'something wise and good.' In that case, either earning or saving becomes meaningful. I then have to think about which option fits best with my other responsibilities before deciding whether to earn or save money."

"I don't quite know what you mean, mother."

"I’m not really sure what you mean, mom."

"I will try and explain myself. You know I have to keep a little shop, and to try and get employment in knitting stockings, and to clean my house, and to mend our clothes, and many other things. Now, do you think I should be doing my duty if I left you in the evenings, when you come home from school, to go out as a waiter at ladies' parties? I could earn a good deal of money by it, and I could spend it well among those who are poorer than I am (such as lame Harry), but then I should be leaving you alone in the little time that we have to be together; I do not think I should be doing right even for our 'good and wise purpose' to earn money, if it took me away from you at nights: do you, Tom?"

"I'll try to explain myself. You know I have to run a small shop, look for work knitting stockings, clean the house, mend our clothes, and take care of a bunch of other things. Now, do you think it's right for me to leave you in the evenings, when you get home from school, to go work as a waiter at ladies' parties? I could make a decent amount of money doing that, and I could use it to help those who are poorer than I am (like lame Harry), but I'd be leaving you on your own during the little time we have together. I don’t think it would be right, even for our 'good and wise purpose,' to earn money if it means being away from you at night. Do you agree, Tom?"

"No, indeed; you never mean to do it, do you, mother?"

"No, of course not; you don’t really intend to do it, do you, mom?"

"No," said she, smiling; "at any rate not till you are older. You see at present then, I cannot earn money, if I want a little more than usual to help a sick neighbour. I must then try and save money. Nearly every one can do that."

"No," she said with a smile, "at least not until you're older. You see, right now I can't earn money if I want a little extra to help a sick neighbor. So, I have to try and save money. Almost everyone can do that."

"Can we, mother? We are so careful of everything. Ned Dixon calls us stingy: what could we save?"

"Can we, Mom? We're so careful about everything. Ned Dixon calls us cheap: what could we possibly save?"

"Oh, many and many a little thing. We use many things which are luxuries; which we do not want, but only use them for pleasure. Tea and sugar—butter—our Sunday's dinner of bacon or meat—the grey ribbon I bought for my bonnet, because you thought it prettier than the black, which was cheaper; all these are luxuries. We use very little tea or sugar, it is true; but we might do without any."

"Oh, so many little things. We use a lot of things that are luxuries; things we don’t really need, but we use them for enjoyment. Tea and sugar, butter, our Sunday dinner of bacon or meat, the gray ribbon I bought for my hat because you thought it looked nicer than the black one, which was cheaper; all these are luxuries. It’s true we don’t use much tea or sugar, but we could easily do without them."

"You did do without any, mother, for a long, long time, you know, to help widow Black; it was only for your bad head-aches."

"You went without any for a long time, mom, to help out widow Black; it was only because of your bad headaches."

"Well! but you see we can save money; a penny, a halfpenny a day, or even a penny a week, would in time make a little store ready to be applied to the 'good and wise' purpose, when the time comes. But do you know, my little boy, I think we may be considering money too much as the only thing required if we want to do a kindness."

"Well! But you see, we can save money; a penny, a halfpenny a day, or even a penny a week would eventually add up to a little savings we could use for a 'good and wise' purpose when the time comes. But you know, my little boy, I think we might be focusing too much on money as the only thing we need if we want to do something kind."

"If it is not the only thing, it is the chief thing, at any rate."

"If it's not the only thing, it's definitely the most important thing, at least."

"No, love, it is not the chief thing. I should think very poorly of that beggar who liked sixpence given with a curse (as I have sometimes heard it), better than the kind and gentle words some people use in refusing to give. The curse sinks deep into the heart; or if it does not, it is a proof that the poor creature has been made hard before by harsh treatment. And mere money can do little to cheer a sore heart. It is kindness only that can do this. Now we have all of us kindness in our power. The little child of two years old, who can only just totter about, can show kindness."

"No, my love, that's not the most important thing. I would think very poorly of a beggar who preferred a sixpence given with a curse (as I've sometimes heard), over the kind and gentle words some people use when saying no to giving. The curse digs deep into the heart; or if it doesn’t, it just shows that the poor person has been hardened by harsh treatment before. And just having money can’t do much to soothe a hurting heart. Only kindness can truly do that. We all have the ability to be kind. Even a little two-year-old child, who can barely walk, can show kindness."

"Can I, mother?"

"Can I, Mom?"

"To be sure, dear; and you often do, only perhaps not quite so often as you might do. Neither do I. But instead of wishing for money (of which I don't think either you or I are ever likely to have much), suppose you try to-morrow how you can make people happier, by thinking of little loving actions of help. Let us try and take for our text, 'Silver and gold I have none, but such as I have give I unto thee.'"

"Sure, my dear; and you often do, just maybe not as often as you could. I don't either. But instead of wishing for money (which I don't believe either of us will ever have much of), why don't you try tomorrow to figure out how you can make people happier by thinking of small, kind actions to help them? Let's use as our motto, 'Silver and gold I don't have, but what I do have, I give to you.'"

"Ay, mother, we will."

"Yeah, mom, we will."

Must I tell you about little Tom's "to-morrow."

Must I tell you about little Tom's "tomorrow."

I do not know if little Tom dreamed of what his mother and he had been talking about, but I do know that the first thing he thought about, when he awoke in the morning, was his mother's saying that he might try how many kind actions he could do that day without money; and he was so impatient to begin, that he jumped up and dressed himself, although it was more than an hour before his usual time of getting up. All the time he kept wondering what a little boy like him, only eight years old, could do for other people; till at last he grew so puzzled with inventing occasions for showing kindness, that he very wisely determined to think no more about it, but learn his lessons very perfectly; that was the first thing he had to do; and then he would try, without too much planning beforehand, to keep himself ready to lend a helping hand, or to give a kind word, when the right time came. So he screwed himself into a corner, out of the way of his mother's sweeping and dusting, and tucked his feet up on the rail of the chair, turned his face to the wall, and in about half an hour's time, he could turn round with a light heart, feeling he had learnt his lesson well, and might employ his time as he liked till breakfast was ready. He looked round the room; his mother had arranged all neatly, and was now gone to the bedroom; but the coal-scuttle and the can for water were empty, and Tom ran away to fill them; and as he came back with the latter from the pump, he saw Ann Jones (the scold of the neighbourhood) hanging out her clothes on a line stretched across from side to side of the little court, and speaking very angrily and loudly to her little girl, who was getting into some mischief in the house-place, as her mother perceived through the open door.

I don't know if little Tom dreamed about what he and his mother had talked about, but I do know that the first thing he thought of when he woke up in the morning was his mother saying he could try to do as many good deeds as possible that day without spending any money. He was so eager to get started that he jumped up and got dressed, even though it was more than an hour earlier than he usually woke up. The whole time, he kept wondering what a little boy like him, only eight years old, could do for others. Eventually, he got so confused trying to come up with ways to show kindness that he smartly decided to stop overthinking it and focus on perfecting his lessons; that was the first thing he needed to do. After that, he would try to be ready to lend a helping hand or give a kind word when the opportunity presented itself, without planning too much in advance. So, he tucked himself into a corner to stay out of his mother’s way while she swept and dusted, pulled his feet up onto the chair rail, turned his face to the wall, and about half an hour later, he could turn around with a light heart, feeling that he had learned his lesson well and could spend his time as he liked until breakfast was ready. He looked around the room; his mother had tidied everything up and had now gone to the bedroom. But the coal scuttle and the water can were empty, so Tom ran off to fill them. As he returned with the water can from the pump, he saw Ann Jones (the neighborhood gossip) hanging out her clothes on a line stretched across the little courtyard and yelling angrily at her little girl, who was getting into trouble in the house, as her mother noticed through the open door.

"There never were such plagues as my children are, to be sure," said Ann Jones, as she went into her house, looking very red and passionate. Directly after, Tom heard the sound of a slap, and then a little child's cry of pain.

"There have never been such pests as my kids are, that's for sure," said Ann Jones as she walked into her house, looking very upset and fiery. Right after that, Tom heard the sound of a slap, followed by a small child's cry of pain.

"I wonder," thought he, "if I durst go and offer to nurse and play with little Hester. Ann Jones is fearful cross, and just as likely to take me wrong as right; but she won't box me for mother's sake; mother nursed Jemmy many a day through the fever, so she won't slap me, I think. Any rate, I'll try." But it was with a beating heart he said to the fierce-looking Mrs. Jones, "Please, may I go and play with Hester. May be I could keep her quiet while you're busy hanging out clothes."

"I wonder," he thought, "if I should go and offer to take care of little Hester. Ann Jones is pretty strict, and she might misunderstand my intentions; but she won't punish me out of respect for my mom; my mom took care of Jemmy through the fever, so I don't think she'll hit me. Anyway, I'll give it a shot." With his heart racing, he asked the intimidating Mrs. Jones, "Could I please go and play with Hester? Maybe I could help keep her calm while you're busy hanging out the laundry."

"What! and let you go slopping about, I suppose, just when I'd made all ready for my master's breakfast. Thank you, but my own children's mischief is as much as I reckon on; I'll have none of strange lads in my house."

"What! And let you go messing around, I guess, just when I've gotten everything ready for my master's breakfast. Thanks, but my own kids' trouble is already more than I can handle; I won't have any strange boys in my house."

"I did not mean to do mischief or slop," said Tom, a little sadly at being misunderstood in his good intentions. "I only wanted to help."

"I didn't mean to cause trouble or mess things up," said Tom, a bit sadly at being misunderstood in his good intentions. "I just wanted to help."

"If you want to help, lift me up those clothes' pegs, and save me stooping; my back's broken with it."

"If you want to help, please lift these clothes pegs for me so I don't have to bend down; my back is killing me."

Tom would much rather have gone to play with and amuse little Hester; but it was true enough that giving Mrs. Jones the clothes' pegs as she wanted them would help her as much; and perhaps keep her from being so cross with her children if they did anything to hinder her. Besides, little Hester's cry had died away, and she was evidently occupied in some new pursuit (Tom could only hope that it was not in mischief this time); so he began to give Ann the pegs as she wanted them, and she, soothed by his kind help, opened her heart a little to him.

Tom would much rather have gone to play with and entertain little Hester; but it was true that giving Mrs. Jones the clothespins she wanted would help her just as much, and maybe keep her from being so irritated with her kids if they got in her way. Plus, little Hester's crying had stopped, and she was clearly busy with some new activity (Tom could only hope it wasn't mischief this time); so he started giving Ann the clothespins as she asked for them, and she, comforted by his helpfulness, began to open up to him a bit.

"I wonder how it is your mother has trained you up to be so handy, Tom; you're as good as a girl—better than many a girl. I don't think Hester in three years' time will be as thoughtful as you. There!" (as a fresh scream reached them from the little ones inside the house), "they are at some mischief again; but I'll teach 'em," said she, getting down from her stool in a fresh access of passion.

"I’m curious how your mom has taught you to be so useful, Tom; you’re as capable as any girl—better than a lot of girls. I doubt Hester will be as considerate as you in three years. There!" (as a new scream came from the little ones inside the house), "they're up to some trouble again, but I'll set them straight," she said, getting off her stool in a new fit of anger.

"Let me go," said Tom, in a begging voice, for he dreaded the cruel sound of another slap. "I'll lift the basket of pegs on to a stool, so that you need not stoop; and I'll keep the little ones safe out of mischief till you're done. Do let me go, missus."

"Please let me go," Tom said, pleadingly, because he feared the harsh sound of another slap. "I'll put the basket of pegs on a stool, so you don't have to bend down; and I'll make sure the little ones stay out of trouble until you're finished. Please, let me go, ma'am."

With some grumblings at losing his help, she let him go into the house-place. He found Hester, a little girl of five, and two younger ones. They had been fighting for a knife, and in the struggle, the second, Johnnie, had cut his finger—not very badly, but he was frightened at the sight of the blood; and Hester, who might have helped, and who was really sorry, stood sullenly aloof, dreading the scolding her mother always gave her if either of the little ones hurt themselves while under her care.

With some complaints about losing his help, she let him go into the house. He found Hester, a little girl of five, and two younger kids. They had been fighting over a knife, and during the struggle, the second one, Johnnie, had cut his finger—not badly, but he was scared at the sight of the blood; and Hester, who could have helped and genuinely felt sorry, stood off to the side, worried about the scolding her mother always gave her if either of the little ones got hurt while she was taking care of them.

"Hester," said Tom, "will you get me some cold water, please? it will stop the bleeding better than anything. I daresay you can find me a basin to hold it."

"Hester," Tom said, "can you please get me some cold water? It will stop the bleeding better than anything. I'm sure you can find a basin to hold it."

Hester trotted off, pleased at Tom's confidence in her power. When the bleeding was partly stopped, he asked her to find him a bit of rag, and she scrambled under the dresser for a little piece she had hidden there the day before. Meanwhile, Johnny ceased crying, he was so interested in all the preparation for dressing his little wound, and so much pleased to find himself an object of so much attention and consequence. The baby, too, sat on the floor, gravely wondering at the commotion; and thus busily occupied, they were quiet and out of mischief till Ann Jones came in, and, having hung out her clothes, and finished that morning's piece of work, she was ready to attend to her children in her rough, hasty kind of way.

Hester quickly walked away, happy about Tom's trust in her abilities. Once the bleeding was mostly under control, he asked her to grab a piece of cloth, and she hurried under the dresser to find a small scrap she had stashed there the day before. Meanwhile, Johnny stopped crying; he was so fascinated by all the preparations for treating his little wound, and he felt important being the center of attention. The baby also sat on the floor, seriously curious about all the noise; and while they were occupied, they stayed quiet and out of trouble until Ann Jones arrived. After hanging out her laundry and finishing her morning chores, she was ready to take care of her children in her usual rough and hurried manner.

The Cut Finger
The Cut Finger.
Click to __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__

"Well! I'm sure, Tom, you've tied it up as neatly as I could have done. I wish I'd always such an one as you to see after the children; but you must run off now, lad, your mother was calling you as I came in, and I said I'd send you—good-by, and thank you."

"Well! I'm sure, Tom, you’ve done as good a job as I could have. I wish I always had someone like you to take care of the kids; but you need to go now, kid, your mom was calling you when I came in, and I told her I’d send you—goodbye, and thanks."

As Tom was going away, the baby, sitting in square gravity on the floor, but somehow conscious of Tom's gentle helpful ways, put up her mouth to be kissed; and he stooped down in answer to the little gesture, feeling very happy, and very full of love and kindliness.

As Tom was leaving, the baby, sitting firmly on the floor but somehow aware of Tom's gentle, helpful nature, raised her mouth to be kissed; and he bent down in response to the little gesture, feeling very happy and filled with love and kindness.

After breakfast, his mother told him it was school time, and he must set off, as she did not like him to run in out of breath and flurried, just when the schoolmaster was going to begin; but she wished him to come in decently and in order, with quiet decorum, and thoughtfulness as to what he was going to do. So Tom got his cap and his bag, and went off with a light heart, which I suppose made his footsteps light, for he found himself above half way to school while it wanted yet a quarter to the time. So he slackened his pace, and looked about him a little more than he had been doing. There was a little girl on the other side of the street carrying a great big basket, and lugging along a little child just able to walk; but who, I suppose, was tired, for he was crying pitifully, and sitting down every two or three steps. Tom ran across the street, for, as perhaps you have found out, he was very fond of babies, and could not bear to hear them cry.

After breakfast, his mom told him it was time for school and he needed to head out, as she didn't like him rushing in all out of breath and flustered right when the teacher was about to start. She wanted him to arrive in a calm and orderly manner, showing thoughtfulness about what he was going to do. So, Tom grabbed his cap and bag and left with a light heart, which I guess made his footsteps light, because he realized he was more than halfway to school with still a quarter of the time left. He slowed down and took a little more time to look around than he had been. There was a little girl on the other side of the street carrying a huge basket and dragging along a small child who was just able to walk; but I guess he was tired since he was crying sadly and sitting down every couple of steps. Tom dashed across the street because, as you may have noticed, he really loved babies and couldn't stand to hear them cry.

"Little girl, what is he crying about? Does he want to be carried? I'll take him up, and carry him as far as I go alongside of you."

"Hey little girl, why is he crying? Does he want to be picked up? I can carry him and take him with me as far as I go with you."

So saying, Tom was going to suit the action to the word; but the baby did not choose that any one should carry him but his sister, and refused Tom's kindness. Still he could carry the heavy basket of potatoes for the little girl, which he did as far as their road lay together, when she thanked him, and bade him good-by, and said she could manage very well now, her home was so near. So Tom went into school very happy and peaceful; and had a good character to take home to his mother for that morning's lesson.

So saying, Tom was about to follow through on his promise; but the baby didn’t want anyone to carry him except his sister and turned down Tom's offer. Still, he was able to carry the heavy basket of potatoes for the little girl, which he did until their paths separated, when she thanked him, said goodbye, and mentioned she could manage just fine since her home was so close. So Tom went into school feeling very happy and at peace, ready to share a good report with his mother about that morning's lesson.

It happened that this very day was the weekly half-holiday, so that Tom had many hours unoccupied that afternoon. Of course, his first employment after dinner was to learn his lessons for the next day; and then, when he had put his books away, he began to wonder what he should do next.

It just so happened that today was the weekly half-holiday, which left Tom with several free hours that afternoon. Naturally, his first task after lunch was to study for the next day; and once he had put his books away, he started to think about what to do next.

He stood lounging against the door wishing all manner of idle wishes; a habit he was apt to fall into. He wished he were the little boy who lived opposite, who had three brothers ready to play with him on half-holidays; he wished he were Sam Harrison, whose father had taken him one day a trip by the railroad; he wished he were the little boy who always went with the omnibuses,—it must be so pleasant to go riding about on the step, and to see so many people; he wished he were a sailor, to sail away to the countries where grapes grew wild, and monkeys and parrots were to be had for the catching. Just as he was wishing himself the little Prince of Wales, to drive about in a goat-carriage, and wondering if he should not feel very shy with the three great ostrich-feathers always niddle-noddling on his head, for people to know him by, his mother came from washing up the dishes, and saw him deep in the reveries little boys and girls are apt to fall into when they are the only children in a house.

He leaned against the door, lost in a daydream filled with random wishes, a habit he often fell into. He wished he were the little boy who lived across the street, who had three brothers to play with on half-holidays; he wished he were Sam Harrison, whose dad took him on a train trip one day; he wished he were the little boy who always hopped on the buses—it must be so nice to ride around on the step and see so many people; he wished he were a sailor, to sail off to places where grapes grew wild and you could catch monkeys and parrots. Just as he was imagining himself as the little Prince of Wales, driving around in a goat-drawn carriage and wondering if he'd feel shy with three big ostrich feathers bobbing on his head for everyone to recognize him, his mom came in from washing the dishes and saw him deep in the kind of daydreams little boys and girls often have when they’re the only kids in a house.

"My dear Tom," said she, "why don't you go out, and make the most of this fine afternoon?"

"My dear Tom," she said, "why don't you go outside and enjoy this beautiful afternoon?"

"Oh, mother," answered he (suddenly recalled to the fact that he was little Tom Fletcher, instead of the Prince of Wales, and consequently feeling a little bit flat), "it is so dull going out by myself. I have no one to play with. Can't you go with me, mother—just this once, into the fields?"

"Oh, Mom," he replied (suddenly reminded that he was just little Tom Fletcher, not the Prince of Wales, and feeling a bit down), "it's so boring going out by myself. I don't have anyone to play with. Can’t you come with me, Mom—just this once, into the fields?"

Poor Mrs. Fletcher heartily wished she could gratify this very natural desire of her little boy; but she had the shop to mind, and many a little thing besides to do; it was impossible. But however much she might regret a thing, she was too faithful to repine. So, after a moment's thought, she said, cheerfully, "Go into the fields for a walk, and see how many wild flowers you can bring me home, and I'll get down father's jug for you to put them in when you come back."

Poor Mrs. Fletcher really wished she could fulfill her little boy's very natural desire; but she had to manage the shop and take care of many other things too, so it was impossible. However much she might regret it, she was too loyal to complain. So, after a moment's thought, she said cheerfully, "Go for a walk in the fields and see how many wildflowers you can bring me back, and I'll get Dad's jug for you to put them in when you return."

"But, mother, there are so few pretty flowers near a town," said Tom, a little unwillingly, for it was a coming down from being Prince of Wales, and he was not yet quite reconciled to it.

"But, mom, there are so few pretty flowers near a town," said Tom, a bit reluctantly, because it felt like a downgrade from being Prince of Wales, and he wasn't fully okay with it yet.

"Oh dear! there are a great many if you'll only look for them. I dare say you'll make me up as many as twenty different kinds."

"Oh wow! There are so many if you just look for them. I bet you could come up with as many as twenty different types."

"Will you reckon daisies, mother?"

"Will you count daisies, mom?"

"To be sure; they are just as pretty as any."

"Sure, they’re just as pretty as any."

"Oh, if you'll reckon such as them, I dare say I can bring you more than twenty."

"Oh, if you count people like them, I bet I can bring you more than twenty."

So off he ran; his mother watching him till he was out of sight, and then she returned to her work. In about two hours he came back, his pale cheeks looking quite rosy, and his eyes quite bright. His country walk, taken with cheerful spirits, had done him all the good his mother desired, and had restored his usually even, happy temper.

So off he ran; his mom watched him until he was out of sight, and then she went back to her work. About two hours later, he came back, his pale cheeks looking quite rosy and his eyes bright. His walk in the countryside, taken with a cheerful mood, had done him all the good his mom hoped for and had brought back his usually steady, happy temperament.

"Look, mother! here are three-and-twenty different kinds; you said I might count all, so I have even counted this thing like a nettle with lilac flowers, and this little common blue thing."

"Look, Mom! Here are twenty-three different kinds; you said I could count them all, so I've even counted this thing that looks like a nettle with lilac flowers, and this little common blue one."

"Robin-run-in-the-hedge is its name," said his mother. "It's very pretty if you look at it close. One, two, three"—she counted them all over, and there really were three-and-twenty. She went to reach down the best jug.

"Robin-run-in-the-hedge is its name," said his mother. "It's really beautiful if you look at it closely. One, two, three"—she counted them all again, and there were indeed twenty-three. She bent down to grab the best jug.

"Mother," said little Tom, "do you like them very much?"

"Mom," said little Tom, "do you like them a lot?"

"Yes, very much," said she, not understanding his meaning. He was silent, and gave a little sigh. "Why, my dear?"

"Yes, definitely," she said, not getting what he meant. He was quiet and let out a small sigh. "Why, my dear?"

"Oh, only—it does not signify if you like them very much; but I thought how nice it would be to take them to lame Harry, who can never walk so far as the fields, and can hardly know what summer is like, I think."

"Oh, it doesn’t really matter if you like them a lot; I just thought it would be nice to take them to lame Harry, who can never walk as far as the fields and can hardly know what summer feels like, I think."

"Oh, that will be very nice; I am glad you thought of it."

"Oh, that sounds great; I’m glad you came up with it."

Lame Harry was sitting by himself, very patiently, in a neighbouring cellar. He was supported by his daughter's earnings; but as she worked in a factory, he was much alone.

Lame Harry was sitting by himself, very patiently, in a nearby basement. He relied on his daughter's earnings, but since she worked in a factory, he was quite lonely.

If the bunch of flowers had looked pretty in the fields, they looked ten times as pretty in the cellar to which they were now carried. Lame Harry's eyes brightened up with pleasure at the sight; and he began to talk of the times long ago, when he was a little boy in the country, and had a corner of his father's garden to call his own, and grow lad's-love and wall-flower in. Little Tom put them in water for him, and put the jug on the table by him; on which his daughter had placed the old Bible, worn with much reading, although treated with careful reverence. It was lying open, with Harry's horn spectacles put in to mark the place.

If the bunch of flowers looked beautiful in the fields, they looked even more beautiful in the cellar where they were now taken. Lame Harry's eyes lit up with joy at the sight, and he started reminiscing about the days long ago when he was a little boy in the country and had a corner of his father's garden to call his own, where he grew lad's-love and wallflower. Little Tom put them in water for him and set the jug on the table next to him, where his daughter had placed the old Bible, worn from much reading yet treated with great respect. It was lying open, with Harry's horn glasses inserted to mark the spot.

"I reckon my spectacles are getting worn out; they are not so clear as they used to be; they are dim-like before my eyes, and it hurts me to read long together," said Harry. "It's a sad miss to me. I never thought the time long when I could read; but now I keep wearying for the day to be over, though the nights, when I cannot sleep for my legs paining me, are almost as bad. However, it's the Lord's will."

"I think my glasses are wearing out; they aren't as clear as they used to be; they're blurry in front of my eyes, and it hurts to read for a long time," said Harry. "It's a real disappointment for me. I never thought time dragged when I could read, but now I keep wishing for the day to be over, even though the nights, when I can't sleep because my legs are hurting me, are almost just as bad. Still, it's what the Lord wants."

"Would you like me—I cannot read very well aloud, but I'd do my best, if you'd like me to read a bit to you. I'll just run home and get my tea, and be back directly." And off Tom ran.

"Would you like me to read to you? I’m not great at reading aloud, but I’ll do my best if you want me to. I’ll just go home, grab my tea, and be right back." And off Tom ran.

He found it very pleasant reading aloud to lame Harry, for the old man had so much to say that was worth listening to, and was so glad of a listener, that I think there was as much talking as reading done that evening. But the Bible served as a text-book to their conversation; for in a long life old Harry had seen and heard so much, which he had connected with events, or promises, or precepts contained in the Scriptures, that it was quite curious to find how everything was brought in and dove-tailed, as an illustration of what they were reading.

He really enjoyed reading aloud to lame Harry because the old man had so much to share that was worth hearing, and he was so happy to have someone listen that I think they spent just as much time talking as reading that evening. The Bible served as a starting point for their conversation; after a long life, old Harry had seen and heard so much that he linked to events, promises, or teachings in the Scriptures, making it fascinating to see how everything was connected and illustrated what they were reading.

When Tom got up to go away, lame Harry gave him many thanks, and told him he would not sleep the worse for having made an old man's evening so pleasant. Tom came home in high self-satisfaction. "Mother," said he, "it's all very true what you said about the good that may be done without money: I've done many pieces of good to-day without a farthing. First," said he, taking hold of his little finger, "I helped Ann Jones with hanging out her clothes when she was"—

When Tom got up to leave, lame Harry thanked him many times and told him he wouldn’t sleep any worse for making an old man’s evening so enjoyable. Tom came home feeling really good about himself. “Mom,” he said, “you were right about the good that can be done without money: I did a lot of good today without spending a dime. First,” he said, pulling on his little finger, “I helped Ann Jones hang out her clothes when she was”—

His mother had been listening while she turned over the pages of the New Testament which lay by her, and now having found what she wanted, she put her arm gently round his waist, and drew him fondly towards her. He saw her finger put under one passage, and read,—

His mom had been listening while she flipped through the pages of the New Testament that was next to her, and now that she found what she was looking for, she wrapped her arm gently around his waist and pulled him close. He saw her finger point to one passage and read,—

"Let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth."

"Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."

He was silent in a moment.

He was quiet for a moment.

Then his mother spoke in her soft low voice:—"Dearest Tom, though I don't want us to talk about it, as if you had been doing more than just what you ought, I am glad you have seen the truth of what I said; how far more may be done by the loving heart than by mere money-giving; and every one may have the loving heart."

Then his mother spoke in her gentle, low voice:—"Dear Tom, even though I don’t want us to discuss it, as if you had done more than you should, I’m glad you’ve recognized the truth in what I said; there’s so much more that a loving heart can accomplish than just giving money; and everyone can have a loving heart."

I have told you of one day of little Tom's life, when he was eight years old, and lived with his mother. I must now pass over a year, and tell you of a very different kind of life he had then to lead. His mother had never been very strong, and had had a good deal of anxiety; at last she was taken ill, and soon felt that there was no hope for her recovery. For a long time the thought of leaving her little boy was a great distress to her, and a great trial to her faith. But God strengthened her, and sent his peace into her soul, and before her death she was content to leave her precious child in his hands, who is a Father to the fatherless, and defendeth the cause of the widow.

I have shared a day from little Tom's life when he was eight years old and living with his mother. Now, I must skip ahead a year to tell you about a very different life he had to lead. His mother had never been very strong and had experienced a lot of stress; eventually, she became ill and soon realized there was no hope for her recovery. For a long time, the thought of leaving her little boy caused her great distress and tested her faith. But God gave her strength and sent peace into her soul, and before she passed away, she felt at ease leaving her precious child in His hands, who is a Father to the fatherless and defends the cause of the widow.

When she felt that she had not many more days to live, she sent for her husband's brother, who lived in a town not many miles off; and gave her little Tom in charge to him to bring up.

When she realized that she didn't have many days left to live, she called for her brother-in-law, who lived in a town not far away, and entrusted her little Tom to him to raise.

"There are a few pounds in the savings-bank—I don't know how many exactly—and the furniture and bit of stock in the shop; perhaps they would be enough to bring him up to be a joiner, like his father before him."

"There are a few pounds in the savings bank—I don't know exactly how many—and the furniture and some stock in the shop; maybe that would be enough to train him to be a carpenter, like his father before him."

She spoke feebly, and with many pauses. Her brother-in-law, though a rough kind of man, wished to do all he could to make her feel easy in her last moments, and touched with the reference to his dead brother, promised all she required.

She spoke weakly, with lots of pauses. Her brother-in-law, although a somewhat tough guy, wanted to do everything he could to make her comfortable in her final moments, and moved by the mention of his deceased brother, promised her everything she needed.

"I'll take him back with me after"—the funeral, he was going to say, but he stopped. She smiled gently, fully understanding his meaning.

"I'll take him back with me after"—the funeral, he was about to say, but he paused. She smiled gently, completely understanding what he meant.

"We shall, may be, not be so tender with him as you've been; but I'll see he comes to no harm. It will be a good thing for him to rough it a bit with other children,—he's too nesh for a boy; but I'll pay them if they aren't kind to him in the long run, never fear."

"We might not be as gentle with him as you have been, but I’ll make sure he doesn’t get hurt. It’ll be good for him to toughen up a bit with other kids—he’s too soft for a boy. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure to compensate them if they’re not nice to him in the end."

Though this speech was not exactly what she liked, there was quite enough of good feeling in it to make her thankful for such a protector and friend for her boy. And so, thankful for the joys she had had, and thankful for the sorrows which had taught her meekness, thankful for life, and thankful for death, she died.

Though this speech wasn’t exactly what she preferred, there was more than enough good sentiment in it to make her grateful for such a protector and friend for her son. And so, thankful for the joys she experienced, and thankful for the sorrows that had taught her humility, grateful for life, and grateful for death, she passed away.

Her brother-in-law arranged all as she had wished. After the quiet simple funeral was over, he took Tom by the hand, and set off on the six-mile walk to his home. Tom had cried till he could cry no more, but sobs came quivering up from his heart every now and then, as he passed some well-remembered cottage, or thorn-bush, or tree on the road. His uncle was very sorry for him, but did not know what to say, or how to comfort him.

Her brother-in-law took care of everything just the way she wanted. After the quiet, simple funeral ended, he grabbed Tom's hand and started the six-mile walk back to his home. Tom had cried until he couldn’t cry anymore, but sobs would occasionally escape from his heart as he passed familiar cottages, thorn bushes, or trees along the way. His uncle felt really sorry for him but didn’t know what to say or how to comfort him.

"Now mind, lad, thou com'st to me if thy cousins are o'er hard upon thee. Let me hear if they misuse thee, and I'll give it them."

"Now listen, kid, you come to me if your cousins are being too rough on you. Let me know if they mistreat you, and I’ll handle it."

Tom shrunk from the idea that this gave him of the cousins, whose companionship he had, until then, been looking forward to as a pleasure. He was not reassured when, after threading several streets and by-ways, they came into a court of dingy-looking houses, and his uncle opened the door of one, from which the noise of loud, if not angry voices was heard.

Tom recoiled from the thought of the cousins, whose company he had been eagerly anticipating as enjoyable. He felt uneasy when, after navigating several streets and alleys, they arrived at a courtyard filled with rundown houses, and his uncle opened the door of one, from which loud, possibly angry voices were emanating.

A tall large woman was whirling one child out of her way with a rough movement of her arm; while she was scolding a boy a little older than Tom, who stood listening sullenly to her angry words.

A tall, big woman was pushing one child out of her way with a rough motion of her arm while she was scolding a boy a little older than Tom, who stood there listening with a sulky expression to her angry words.

"I'll tell father of thee, I will," said she; and turning to uncle John, she began to pour out her complaints against Jack, without taking any notice of little Tom, who clung to his uncle's hand as to a protector in the scene of violence into which he had entered.

"I'll tell Dad about you, I will," she said; and turning to Uncle John, she started sharing her grievances about Jack, completely ignoring little Tom, who was holding onto his uncle's hand as if he were a protector in the chaotic situation he found himself in.

"Well, well, wife!—I'll leather Jack the next time I catch him letting the water out of the pipe; but now get this lad and me some tea, for we're weary and tired."

"Well, well, wife!—I'll deal with Jack the next time I catch him letting the water out of the pipe; but for now, get this boy and me some tea, because we’re worn out."

His aunt seemed to wish Jack might be leathered now, and to be angry with her husband for not revenging her injuries; for an injury it was that the boy had done her in letting the water all run off, and that on the very eve of the washing day. The mother grumbled as she left off mopping the wet floor, and went to the fire to stir it up ready for the kettle, without a word of greeting to her little nephew, or of welcome to her husband. On the contrary, she complained of the trouble of getting tea ready afresh, just when she had put slack on the fire, and had no water in the house to fill the kettle with. Her husband grew angry, and Tom was frightened to hear his uncle speaking sharply.

His aunt seemed to wish Jack would get a good scolding now and was upset with her husband for not getting back at the boy for what he had done. It was a real offense that Jack let all the water drain away right before laundry day. The mother grumbled as she stopped mopping the wet floor and went to the fire to stoke it for the kettle, not even greeting her little nephew or welcoming her husband. Instead, she complained about the hassle of having to prepare tea again just when she had put wood on the fire and no water in the house to fill the kettle. Her husband got angry, and Tom was scared to hear his uncle speak so sharply.

"If I can't have a cup of tea in my own house without all this ado, I'll go to the Spread Eagle, and take Tom with me. They've a bright fire there at all times, choose how they manage it; and no scolding wives. Come, Tom, let's be off."

"If I can't have a cup of tea in my own house without all this fuss, I'll go to the Spread Eagle and take Tom with me. They always have a nice fire there, no matter how they do it; and no nagging wives. Come on, Tom, let's go."

Jack had been trying to scrape acquaintance with his cousin by winks and grimaces behind his mother's back, and now made a sign of drinking out of an imaginary glass. But Tom clung to his uncle, and softly pulled him down again on his chair, from which he had risen to go to the public-house.

Jack had been trying to get to know his cousin by winking and making funny faces behind his mom's back, and now he pretended to drink from an imaginary glass. But Tom held onto his uncle and gently pulled him back down into his chair, which he had stood up from to head to the pub.

"If you please, ma'am," said he, sadly frightened of his aunt, "I think I could find the pump, if you'd let me try."

"If you don't mind, ma'am," he said, feeling scared of his aunt, "I think I could find the pump if you’d let me try."

She muttered something like an acquiescence; so Tom took up the kettle, and, tired as he was, went out to the pump. Jack, who had done nothing but mischief all day, stood amazed, but at last settled that his cousin was a "softy."

She mumbled something that sounded like a yes; so Tom picked up the kettle and, despite being tired, went out to the pump. Jack, who had spent the whole day causing trouble, was stunned but eventually decided that his cousin was a "softy."

When Tom came back, he tried to blow the fire with the broken bellows, and at last the water boiled, and the tea was made. "Thou'rt a rare lad, Tom," said his uncle. "I wonder when our Jack will be of as much use."

When Tom came back, he tried to blow the fire with the broken bellows, and finally, the water boiled, and the tea was made. "You're a great kid, Tom," said his uncle. "I wonder when our Jack will be as useful."

This comparison did not please either Jack or his mother, who liked to keep to herself the privilege of directing their father's dissatisfaction with his children. Tom felt their want of kindliness towards him; and now that he had nothing to do but rest and eat, he began to feel very sad, and his eyes kept filling with tears, which he brushed away with the back of his hand, not wishing to have them seen. But his uncle noticed him.

This comparison didn’t sit well with either Jack or his mother, who preferred to handle their father’s disappointment with his kids on her own. Tom sensed their lack of kindness towards him; and now that all he had to do was rest and eat, he began to feel very down. His eyes kept welling up with tears, which he wiped away with the back of his hand, not wanting anyone to see. But his uncle noticed him.

"Thou had'st better have had a glass at the Spread Eagle," said he, compassionately.

"You would have been better off having a drink at the Spread Eagle," he said, compassionately.

"No; I only am rather tired. May I go to bed?" said he, longing for a good cry unobserved under the bed-clothes.

"No; I’m just feeling a bit tired. Can I go to bed?" he said, wishing for a good cry in private beneath the covers.

"Where's he to sleep?" asked the husband of the wife.

"Where is he supposed to sleep?" asked the husband of the wife.

"Nay," said she, still offended on Jack's account, "that's thy look-out. He's thy flesh and blood, not mine."

"Nah," she said, still upset on Jack's behalf, "that's your problem. He's your family, not mine."

"Come, wife," said uncle John, "he's an orphan, poor chap. An orphan is kin to every one."

"Come on, dear," said Uncle John, "he's an orphan, poor guy. An orphan is connected to everyone."

She was softened directly, for she had much kindness in her, although this evening she had been so much put out.

She was softened right away because she had a lot of kindness in her, even though this evening she had been really upset.

"There's no place for him but with Jack and Dick. We've the baby, and the other three are packed close enough."

"There's no place for him except with Jack and Dick. We've got the baby, and the other three are packed in close enough."

She took Tom up to the little back room, and stopped to talk with him for a minute or two, for her husband's words had smitten her heart, and she was sorry for the ungracious reception she had given Tom at first.

She took Tom up to the small back room and paused to chat with him for a minute or two because her husband's words had struck her deeply, and she felt bad about the unwelcoming way she had treated Tom at first.

"Jack and Dick are never in bed till we come, and it's work enough to catch them then on fine evenings," said she, as she took the candle away.

"Jack and Dick never go to bed until we arrive, and it takes a lot of effort to get them to settle down on nice evenings," she said as she took the candle away.

Tom tried to speak to God as his mother had taught him, out of the fulness of his little heart, which was heavy enough that night. He tried to think how she would have wished him to speak and to do, and when he felt puzzled with the remembrance of the scene of disorder and anger which he had seen, he earnestly prayed God would make and keep clear his path before him. And then he fell asleep.

Tom tried to talk to God the way his mother had taught him, from the depths of his little heart, which felt heavy that night. He thought about how she would want him to speak and act, and when he felt confused by the chaotic and angry scene he had witnessed, he sincerely prayed that God would make his path clear and keep it that way. Then he fell asleep.

He had had a long dream of other and happier days, and had thought he was once more taking a Sunday evening walk with his mother, when he was roughly wakened up by his cousins.

He had a long dream of better and happier days and thought he was once again taking a Sunday evening walk with his mother when he was abruptly woken up by his cousins.

"I say, lad, you're lying right across the bed. You must get up, and let Dick and me come in, and then creep into the space that's left."

"I say, kid, you're lying right across the bed. You need to get up and let Dick and me come in, then we'll squeeze into the space that's left."

Tom got up dizzy and half awake. His cousins got into bed, and then squabbled about the largest share. It ended in a kicking match, during which Tom stood shivering by the bedside.

Tom got up feeling dizzy and half asleep. His cousins climbed into bed and then started arguing over who would get the biggest share. It ended in a kicking match while Tom stood shivering by the bedside.

"I'm sure we're pinched enough as it is," said Dick at last. "And why they've put Tom in with us I can't think. But I'll not stand it. Tom shan't sleep with us. He may lie on the floor, if he likes. I'll not hinder him."

"I'm sure we're cramped enough as it is," said Dick finally. "And I can't understand why they've put Tom in with us. But I won't put up with it. Tom can't sleep with us. He can lie on the floor if he wants. I won't stop him."

He expected an opposition from Tom, and was rather surprised when he heard the little fellow quietly lie down, and cover himself as well as he could with his clothes. After some more quarrelling, Jack and Dick fell asleep. But in the middle of the night Dick awoke, and heard by Tom's breathing that he was still awake, and was crying gently.

He expected Tom to fight back, so he was a bit surprised when he heard the little guy just lie down quietly and try to cover himself with his clothes as best as he could. After some more arguing, Jack and Dick fell asleep. But in the middle of the night, Dick woke up and heard that Tom was still awake because of his breathing, and he was quietly crying.

"What! molly-coddle, crying for a softer bed?" asked Dick.

"What! pampering yourself, crying for a softer bed?" asked Dick.

"Oh, no—I don't care for that—if—oh! if mother were but alive," little Tom sobbed aloud.

"Oh, no—I don't like that—if—oh! if only mom were alive," little Tom cried out.

"I say," said Dick, after a pause. "There's room at my back, if you'll creep in. There! don't be afraid—why, how cold you are, lad."

"I say," said Dick, after a pause. "There's room behind me if you want to crawl in. There! Don't be scared—wow, you're freezing, buddy."

Dick was sorry for his cousin's loss, but could not speak about it. However, his kind tone sank into Tom's heart, and he fell asleep once more.

Dick felt sorry for his cousin's loss but couldn't bring himself to talk about it. Still, his caring tone touched Tom's heart, and he drifted off to sleep again.

The three boys all got up at the same time in the morning, but were not inclined to talk. Jack and Dick put on their clothes as fast as possible, and ran downstairs; but this was quite a different way of going on to what Tom had been accustomed. He looked about for some kind of basin or mug to wash in; there was none—not even a jug of water in the room. He slipped on a few necessary clothes, and went downstairs, found a pitcher, and went off to the pump. His cousins, who were playing in the court, laughed at him, and would not tell him where the soap was kept: he had to look some minutes before he could find it. Then he went back to the bedroom; but on entering it from the fresh air, the smell was so oppressive that he could not endure it. Three people had been breathing the air all night, and had used up every particle many times over and over again; and each time that it had been sent out from the lungs, it was less fit than before to be breathed again. They had not felt how poisonous it was while they stayed in it; they had only felt tired and unrefreshed, with a dull headache; but now that Tom came back again into it, he could not mistake its oppressive nature. He went to the window to try and open it. It was what people call a "Yorkshire light," where you know one-half has to be pushed on one side. It was very stiff, for it had not been opened for a long time. Tom pushed against it with all his might; at length it gave way with a jerk; and the shake sent out a cracked pane, which fell on the floor in a hundred little bits. Tom was sadly frightened when he saw what he had done. He would have been sorry to have done mischief at any time, but he had seen enough of his aunt the evening before to find out that she was sharp, and hasty, and cross; and it was hard to have to begin the first day in his new home by getting into a scrape. He sat down on the bedside, and began to cry. But the morning air blowing in upon him, refreshed him, and made him feel stronger. He grew braver as he washed himself in the pure, cold water. "She can't be cross with me longer than a day; by to-night it will be all over; I can bear it for a day."

The three boys all got up at the same time in the morning, but they weren’t really in the mood to talk. Jack and Dick quickly got dressed and rushed downstairs, but this was nothing like what Tom was used to. He looked around for a basin or mug to wash with; there wasn’t one—not even a jug of water in the room. He threw on some clothes and headed downstairs, found a pitcher, and went to the pump. His cousins, who were playing outside, laughed at him and wouldn’t tell him where the soap was kept; he had to search for a few minutes before he could find it. Then he went back to the bedroom, but as soon as he stepped in from the fresh air, the smell was so bad that he couldn’t stand it. Three people had been breathing the same air all night, and they had used it up over and over again; each time it came out of their lungs, it was less clean than before. They hadn’t noticed how awful it was while they were in it; they just felt tired and unrefreshed with a dull headache; but now that Tom was back in it, he couldn’t ignore its suffocating nature. He went to the window to try to open it. It was what people call a "Yorkshire light," where you have to push one half to the side. It was very stiff since it hadn’t been opened in a long time. Tom pushed with all his strength; finally, it gave way with a jolt, and the shake caused a cracked pane to fall, shattering on the floor into a hundred little pieces. Tom was really frightened when he realized what he had done. He would have felt bad about breaking something at any time, but he had seen enough of his aunt the night before to know that she was sharp, quick-tempered, and irritable; it was tough to start his first day in his new home by getting into trouble. He sat down on the bedside and began to cry. But the morning air blowing in refreshed him and made him feel stronger. He felt braver as he washed himself with the clean, cold water. "She can't stay mad at me for more than a day; by tonight it will all be over; I can handle it for a day."

Dick came running upstairs for something he had forgotten.

Dick ran upstairs for something he had forgotten.

"My word, Tom! but you'll catch it!" exclaimed he, when he saw the broken window. He was half pleased at the event, and half sorry for Tom. "Mother did so beat Jack last week for throwing a stone right through the window downstairs. He kept out of the way till night, but she was on the look-out for him, and as soon as she saw him, she caught hold of him and gave it him. Eh! Tom, I would not be you for a deal!"

"My goodness, Tom! You're in trouble!" he exclaimed when he saw the broken window. He was part pleased about the situation and part sorry for Tom. "Mom really went after Jack last week for throwing a stone right through the downstairs window. He stayed hidden until night, but she was watching for him, and as soon as she spotted him, she grabbed him and let him have it. Wow, Tom, I wouldn't want to be you for anything!"

Tom began to cry again at this account of his aunt's anger; Dick became more and more sorry for him.

Tom started to cry again at this story about his aunt's anger; Dick felt increasingly sorry for him.

"I'll tell thee what; we'll go down and say it was a lad in yon back-yard throwing stones, and that one went smack through the window. I've got one in my pocket that will just do to show."

"I'll tell you what; we'll go down and say it was a kid in that backyard throwing stones, and one happened to go right through the window. I've got one in my pocket that will work perfectly to show."

"No," said Tom, suddenly stopping crying. "I dare not do that."

"No," Tom said, suddenly stopping his tears. "I can't do that."

"Daren't! Why you'll have to dare much more if you go down and face mother without some such story."

"Dare not! You'll have to be a lot braver if you go down and face Mom without some kind of story like that."

"No! I shan't. I shan't have to dare God's anger. Mother taught me to fear that; she said I need never be really afraid of aught else. Just be quiet, Dick, while I say my prayers."

"No! I won't. I won't risk God's anger. Mom taught me to fear that; she said I should never be really afraid of anything else. Just be quiet, Dick, while I say my prayers."

Dick watched his little cousin kneel down by the bed, and bury his face in the clothes; he did not say any set prayer (which Dick was accustomed to think was the only way of praying), but Tom seemed, by the low murmuring which Dick heard, to be talking to a dear friend; and though at first he sobbed and cried, as he asked for help and strength, yet when he got up, his face looked calm and bright, and he spoke quietly as he said to Dick, "Now I'm ready to go and tell aunt."

Dick watched his little cousin kneel by the bed and bury his face in the clothes. He didn’t say any official prayer (which Dick usually thought was the only way to pray), but Tom seemed, from the soft murmuring Dick heard, to be talking to a close friend. Although he first sobbed and cried as he asked for help and strength, when he stood up, his face looked calm and bright, and he spoke quietly as he said to Dick, "Now I'm ready to go and tell Aunt."

"Aunt" meanwhile had missed her pitcher and her soap, and was in no good-tempered mood when Tom came to make his confession. She had been hindered in her morning's work by his taking her things away; and now he was come to tell her of the pane being broken and that it must be mended, and money must go all for a child's nonsense.

"Aunt" had noticed her pitcher and soap were missing and was not in a good mood when Tom came to confess. Her morning had been disrupted because he had taken her things, and now he was there to tell her that the window was broken and it needed to be fixed, which meant money had to be spent on a child's foolishness.

She gave him (as he had been led to expect) one or two very sharp blows. Jack and Dick looked on with curiosity, to see how he would take it; Jack, at any rate, expecting a hearty crying from "softy" (Jack himself had cried loudly at his last beating), but Tom never shed a tear, though his face did go very red, and his mouth did grow set with the pain. But what struck the boys more even than his being "hard" in bearing such blows, was his quietness afterwards. He did not grumble loudly, as Jack would have done, nor did he turn sullen, as was Dick's custom; but the minute afterwards he was ready to run an errand for his aunt; nor did he make any mention of the hard blows, when his uncle came in to breakfast, as his aunt had rather expected he would. She was glad he did not, for she knew her husband would have been displeased to know how early she had begun to beat his orphan nephew. So she almost felt grateful to Tom for his silence, and certainly began to be sorry she had struck him so hard.

She gave him (as he had expected) one or two really hard hits. Jack and Dick watched with curiosity to see how he would react; Jack, at least, thinking "softy" would burst into tears (Jack himself had cried out loud after his last beating), but Tom didn’t cry at all, even though his face turned very red, and his mouth tightened with the pain. However, what surprised the boys even more than his toughness in taking those hits was his calmness afterward. He didn’t complain loudly like Jack would have, nor did he sulk like Dick usually did; instead, a moment later, he was ready to run an errand for his aunt. He also didn’t mention the hard hits when his uncle came in for breakfast, which his aunt had expected he might. She was glad he didn’t, because she knew her husband would have been upset to find out how early she had started hitting his orphaned nephew. So she almost felt thankful to Tom for his silence and definitely started to regret hitting him so hard.

Poor Tom! he did not know that his cousins were beginning to respect him, nor that his aunt was learning to like him; and he felt very lonely and desolate that first morning. He had nothing to do. Jack went to work at the factory; and Dick went grumbling to school. Tom wondered if he was to go to school again, but he did not like to ask. He sat on a little stool, as much out of his terrible aunt's way as he could. She had her youngest child, a little girl of about a year and a half old, crawling about on the floor. Tom longed to play with her; but he was not sure how far his aunt would like it. But he kept smiling at her, and doing every little thing he could to attract her attention and make her come to him. At last she was coaxed to come upon his knee. His aunt saw it, and though she did not speak, she did not look displeased. He did everything he could think of to amuse little Annie; and her mother was very glad to have her attended to. When Annie grew sleepy, she still kept fast hold of one of Tom's fingers in her little, round, soft hand, and he began to know the happy feeling of loving somebody again. Only the night before, when his cousins had made him get out of bed, he had wondered if he should live to be an old man, and never have anybody to love all that long time; but now his heart felt quite warm to the little thing that lay on his lap.

Poor Tom! He didn’t realize that his cousins were starting to respect him, or that his aunt was beginning to like him; he just felt really lonely and sad that first morning. He had nothing to do. Jack went off to work at the factory, and Dick grumbled as he headed to school. Tom wondered if he was supposed to go to school again, but he didn’t want to ask. He sat on a small stool, trying to stay out of his awful aunt's way as much as possible. She had her youngest child, a little girl about a year and a half old, crawling around on the floor. Tom wanted to play with her, but he wasn’t sure how his aunt would feel about it. Still, he kept smiling at her and doing little things to get her attention and bring her to him. Eventually, he managed to get her to come sit on his knee. His aunt noticed, and although she didn’t say anything, she didn’t look unhappy. He tried everything he could think of to entertain little Annie, and her mother was happy to have her looked after. When Annie got sleepy, she still held onto one of Tom's fingers with her small, soft hand, and he started to feel that happy feeling of loving someone again. Just the night before, when his cousins made him get out of bed, he had wondered if he would live to be an old man and never have anyone to love for that long; but now his heart felt warm toward the little girl lying on his lap.

"She'll tire you, Tom," said her mother, "you'd better let me put her down in the cot."

"She's going to wear you out, Tom," her mother said, "you should let me lay her down in the crib."

"Oh, no!" said he, "please don't! I like so much to have her here." He never moved, though she lay very heavy on his arm, for fear of wakening her.

"Oh, no!" he said, "please don’t! I really enjoy having her here." He stayed completely still, even though she was resting heavily on his arm, afraid to wake her up.

When she did rouse up, his aunt said, "Thank you, Tom. I've got my work done rarely with you for a nurse. Now take a run in the yard, and play yourself a bit."

When she finally woke up, his aunt said, "Thank you, Tom. I rarely get my work done with you as a nurse. Now go run in the yard and have some fun."

His aunt was learning something, and Tom was teaching, though they would both have been very much surprised to hear it. Whenever, in a family, every one is selfish, and (as it is called) "stands up for his own rights," there are no feelings of gratitude; the gracefulness of "thanks" is never called for; nor can there be any occasion for thoughtfulness for others when those others are sure to get the start in thinking for themselves, and taking care of number one. Tom's aunt had never had to remind Jack or Dick to go out to play. They were ready enough to see after their own pleasures.

His aunt was learning something, and Tom was teaching, even though they would both be really surprised to hear it. In a family where everyone is selfish and always "stands up for their own rights," there’s no sense of gratitude; the graciousness of saying "thanks" is never needed. There’s no reason to think about others when those others are always ready to think about themselves and take care of their own interests. Tom's aunt never had to remind Jack or Dick to go out and play. They were more than capable of looking after their own fun.

Well! dinner-time came, and all the family gathered to the meal. It seemed to be a scramble who should be helped first, and cry out for the best pieces. Tom looked very red. His aunt in her new-born liking for him, helped him early to what she thought he would like. But he did not begin to eat. It had been his mother's custom to teach her little son to say a simple "grace" with her before they began their dinner. He expected his uncle to follow the same observance; and waited. Then he felt very hot and shy; but, thinking that it was right to say it, he put away his shyness, and very quietly, but very solemnly said the old accustomed sentence of thanksgiving. Jack burst out laughing when he had done; for which Jack's father gave him a sharp rap and a sharp word, which made him silent through the rest of the dinner. But, excepting Jack, who was angry, I think all the family were the happier for having listened reverently (if with some surprise) to Tom's thanksgiving. They were not an ill-disposed set of people, but wanted thoughtfulness in their every-day life; that sort of thoughtfulness which gives order to a home, and makes a wise and holy spirit of love the groundwork of order.

Well! Dinner time arrived, and the whole family gathered for the meal. It was a bit of a scramble to see who would be served first and to call out for the best dishes. Tom looked very flushed. His aunt, in her newfound fondness for him, helped him early to what she thought he would enjoy. But he didn’t start eating. It had been his mother’s tradition to teach her little son to say a simple “grace” with her before they began their dinner. He expected his uncle to follow the same custom, so he waited. Then he felt really hot and shy; but believing it was the right thing to do, he pushed aside his shyness and quietly, but very seriously, said the familiar phrase of thanksgiving. Jack burst out laughing once he finished, for which Jack's father gave him a sharp tap and a stern word, making him quiet for the rest of the dinner. But aside from Jack, who was upset, I think the whole family was happier for having listened respectfully (if somewhat surprised) to Tom’s blessing. They weren’t bad people, just lacking a bit of thoughtfulness in their everyday lives; that kind of thoughtfulness that brings order to a home and creates a wise and loving spirit as the foundation of that order.

From that first day Tom never went back in the regard he began then to win. He was useful to his aunt, and patiently bore her hasty ways, until for very shame she left off being hasty with one who was always so meek and mild. His uncle sometimes said he was more like a girl than a boy, as was to be looked for from being brought up for so many years by a woman; but that was the greatest fault he ever had to find with him; and in spite of it, he really respected him for the very qualities which are most truly "manly;" for the courage with which he dared to do what was right, and the quiet firmness with which he bore many kinds of pain. As for little Annie, her friendship and favour and love were the delight of Tom's heart. He did not know how much the others were growing to like him, but Annie showed it in every way, and he loved her in return most dearly. Dick soon found out how useful Tom could be to him in his lessons; for though older than his cousin, Master Dick was a regular dunce, and had never even wished to learn till Tom came; and long before Jack could be brought to acknowledge it, Dick maintained that "Tom had a great deal of pluck in him, though it was not of Jack's kind."

From that first day, Tom never went back on the progress he started to make. He was helpful to his aunt and patiently put up with her quick temper until, out of shame, she stopped being hasty with someone who was always so gentle and kind. His uncle sometimes said that Tom was more like a girl than a boy, which was expected since he had been raised by a woman for so many years; but that was the only real criticism he had of him. Despite that, he genuinely respected Tom for the qualities that are most truly "manly": the courage to do what was right and the quiet strength he showed while enduring various kinds of pain. As for little Annie, her friendship, support, and love were the greatest joys in Tom's life. He wasn’t aware of how much everyone else was beginning to like him, but Annie expressed it in every way possible, and he loved her back dearly. Dick quickly realized how helpful Tom could be with his studies; even though he was older than his cousin, Dick was a total dunce and never even cared to learn until Tom arrived. Long before Jack could be convinced otherwise, Dick insisted that "Tom had a lot of guts in him, even if it’s not the same kind as Jack's."

Now I shall jump another year, and tell you a very little about the household twelve months after Tom had entered it. I said above that his aunt had learned to speak less crossly to one who was always gentle after her scoldings. By-and-by her ways to all became less hasty and passionate, for she grew ashamed of speaking to any one in an angry way before Tom; he always looked so sad and sorry to hear her. She has also spoken to him sometimes about his mother; at first because she thought he would like it; but latterly because she became really interested to hear of her ways; and Tom being an only child, and his mother's friend and companion, has been able to tell her of many household arts of comfort, which coming quite unconscious of any purpose, from the lips of a child, have taught her many things which she would have been too proud to learn from an older person. Her husband is softened by the additional cleanliness and peace of his home. He does not now occasionally take refuge in a public-house, to get out of the way of noisy children, an unswept hearth, and a scolding wife. Once when Tom was ill for a day or two, his uncle missed the accustomed grace, and began to say it himself. He is now the person to say "Silence, boys;" and then to ask the blessing on the meal. It makes them gather round the table, instead of sitting down here and there in the comfortless, unsociable way they used to do. Tom and Dick go to school together now, and Dick is getting on famously, and will soon be able to help his next brother over his lessons, as Tom has helped him.

Now I'll skip ahead a year and share a little about the household twelve months after Tom joined it. I mentioned earlier that his aunt had learned to speak less harshly to someone who was always calm after her scoldings. Over time, her attitude towards everyone became less quick-tempered and emotional, as she felt embarrassed to argue in front of Tom; he always looked so sad to hear her. She also talked to him sometimes about his mother; initially because she thought he’d appreciate it, but later because she genuinely wanted to know about her ways. Since Tom is an only child and his mother's friend, he was able to share many comforting household tips, which, coming innocently from a child, taught her things she would have been too proud to learn from an adult. Her husband has softened with the added cleanliness and peace in their home. He no longer seeks refuge in a pub to escape the noise of children, a dirty hearth, and a nagging wife. Once, when Tom was sick for a couple of days, his uncle missed saying grace and started to do it himself. He has now taken on the role of saying "Silence, boys;" and then asking for the blessing before meals. It encourages them to gather around the table instead of sitting apart in a way that feels lonely and uncomfortable. Tom and Dick go to school together now, and Dick is doing great, soon to be able to help his younger brother with his lessons, just as Tom has helped him.

Even Jack has been heard to acknowledge that Tom has "pluck" in him; and as "pluck" in Jack's mind is a short way of summing up all the virtues, he has lately become very fond of his cousin. Tom does not think about happiness, but is happy; and I think we may hope that he, and the household among whom he is adopted, will go "from strength to strength."

Even Jack has been known to admit that Tom has "grit" in him; and since "grit" for Jack basically sums up all the good qualities, he has recently started to really like his cousin. Tom doesn’t dwell on happiness, but he is happy; and I think we can expect that he, along with the family that has taken him in, will keep growing stronger.

Now do you not see how much happier this family are from the one circumstance of a little child's coming among them? Could money have made one-tenth part of this real and increasing happiness? I think you will all say no. And yet Tom was no powerful person; he was not clever; he was very friendless at first; but he was loving and good; and on those two qualities, which any of us may have if we try, the blessing of God lies in rich abundance.

Now can you see how much happier this family is from the simple fact that a little child has come into their lives? Could money have created even a fraction of this genuine and growing happiness? I think you all would say no. And yet Tom wasn’t a powerful person; he wasn’t particularly smart; he didn’t have many friends at first; but he was loving and kind; and on those two qualities, which any of us can develop if we try, God's blessing is abundant.

 


 

 

BESSY'S TROUBLES AT HOME.

 

"Well, mother, I've got you a Southport ticket," said Bessy Lee, as she burst into a room where a pale, sick woman lay dressed on the outside of a bed. "Aren't you glad?" asked she, as her mother moved uneasily, but did not speak.

"Well, Mom, I got you a Southport ticket," Bessy Lee said as she walked into a room where a pale, sick woman lay on the outside of a bed. "Aren't you glad?" she asked, noticing her mother shifting uncomfortably but not saying anything.

"Yes, dear, I'm very thankful to you; but your sudden coming in has made my heart flutter so, I'm ready to choke."

"Yes, darling, I'm really grateful to you; but your sudden arrival has made my heart race so much, I'm about to choke."

Poor Bessy's eyes filled with tears: but, it must be owned, they were tears half of anger. She had taken such pains, ever since the doctor said that Southport was the only thing for her mother, to get her an order from some subscriber to the charity; and she had rushed to her, in the full glow of success, and now her mother seemed more put out by the noise she had made on coming in, than glad to receive the news she had brought.

Poor Bessy's eyes filled with tears, but I have to say, they were tears half of anger. Ever since the doctor said that Southport was the only option for her mother, she had worked really hard to get an order from a charity subscriber. She rushed in, excited about her success, but now her mother seemed more annoyed by the noise she made when she came in than happy to hear the news she brought.

Mrs. Lee took her hand and tried to speak, but, as she said, she was almost choked with the palpitation at her heart.

Mrs. Lee took her hand and tried to speak, but, as she said, she was almost choked with the pounding in her chest.

"You think it very silly in me, dear, to be so easily startled; but it is not altogether silliness; it is I am so weak that every little noise gives me quite a fright. I shall be better, love, please God, when I come back from Southport. I am so glad you've got the order, for you've taken a deal of pains about it." Mrs. Lee sighed.

"You think it's really silly of me, dear, to be so easily startled; but it’s not just silliness; it’s that I’m so weak that every little noise frightens me quite a bit. I will feel better, love, God willing, when I return from Southport. I’m so glad you got the order because you’ve worked really hard on it." Mrs. Lee sighed.

"Don't you want to go?" asked Bessy, rather sadly. "You always seem so sorrowful and anxious when we talk about it."

"Don't you want to go?" Bessy asked, sounding a bit sad. "You always seem so down and anxious when we talk about it."

"It's partly my being ailing that makes me anxious, I know," said Mrs. Lee. "But it seems as if so many things might happen while I was away."

"It's partly my being unwell that makes me anxious, I know," said Mrs. Lee. "But it feels like so many things could happen while I'm gone."

Bessy felt a little impatient. Young people in strong health can hardly understand the fears that beset invalids. Bessy was a kind-hearted girl, but rather headstrong, and just now a little disappointed. She forgot that her mother had had to struggle hard with many cares ever since she had been left a widow, and that her illness now had made her nervous.

Bessy felt a bit impatient. Young, healthy people can hardly grasp the worries that trouble those who are unwell. Bessy was a kind-hearted girl, but a bit stubborn, and right now she was feeling a bit let down. She forgot that her mother had to deal with many challenges ever since becoming a widow, and that her illness had made her anxious.

"What nonsense, mother! What can happen? I can take care of the house and the little ones, and Tom and Jem can take care of themselves. What is to happen?"

"What nonsense, Mom! What could possibly happen? I can handle the house and the kids, and Tom and Jem can look after themselves. What’s going to happen?"

"Jenny may fall into the fire," murmured Mrs. Lee, who found little comfort in being talked to in this way. "Or your father's watch may be stolen while you are in, talking with the neighbours, or——"

"Jenny might fall into the fire," Mrs. Lee whispered, finding little comfort in being spoken to like this. "Or your dad's watch could get stolen while you're inside, chatting with the neighbors, orI understand. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize."

"Now come, mother, you know I've had the charge of Jenny ever since father died, and you began to go out washing—and I'll lock father's watch up in the box in our room."

"Come on, Mom, you know I've been taking care of Jenny ever since Dad passed away and you started going out to wash clothes—and I’ll put Dad's watch in the box in our room."

"Then Tom and Jem won't know at what time to go to the factory. Besides, Bessy," said she, raising herself up, "they're are but young lads, and there's a deal of temptation to take them away from their homes, if their homes are not comfortable and pleasant to them. It's that, more than anything, I've been fretting about all the time I've been ill,—that I've lost the power of making this house the cleanest and brightest place they know. But it's no use fretting," said she, falling back weakly upon the bed and sighing. "I must leave it in God's hands. He raiseth up and He bringeth low."

"Then Tom and Jem won't know when to go to the factory. Plus, Bessy," she said, sitting up, "they're just young guys, and there's a lot of temptation to pull them away from their homes if their homes aren't comfortable and nice for them. That's what I've been worrying about the most while I've been sick—losing my ability to make this house the cleanest and brightest place they know. But there's no point in stressing about it," she said, falling back weakly on the bed and sighing. "I have to leave it in God's hands. He lifts up and He brings down."

Bessy stood silent for a minute or two. Then she said, "Well, mother, I will try to make home comfortable for the lads, if you'll but keep your mind easy, and go off to Southport quiet and cheerful."

Bessy stood quiet for a minute or two. Then she said, "Well, mom, I'll try to make home comfortable for the guys if you just keep your mind at ease and head off to Southport happy and cheerful."

"I'll try," said Mrs. Lee, taking hold of Bessy's hand, and looking up thankfully in her face.

"I'll try," Mrs. Lee said, grabbing Bessy's hand and looking up at her with gratitude.

The next Wednesday she set off, leaving home with a heavy heart, which, however, she struggled against, and tried to make more faithful. But she wished her three weeks at Southport were over.

The next Wednesday, she left home with a heavy heart, but she fought against it and tried to make herself feel better. Still, she wished her three weeks in Southport were already over.

Tom and Jem were both older than Bessy, and she was fifteen. Then came Bill and Mary and little Jenny. They were all good children, and all had faults. Tom and Jem helped to support the family by their earnings at the factory, and gave up their wages very cheerfully for this purpose, to their mother, who, however, insisted on a little being put by every week in the savings' bank. It was one of her griefs now that, when the doctor ordered her some expensive delicacy in the way of diet during her illness (a thing which she persisted in thinking she could have done without), her boys had gone and taken their money out in order to procure it for her. The article in question did not cost one quarter of the amount of their savings, but they had put off returning the remainder into the bank, saying the doctor's bill had yet to be paid, and that it seemed so silly to be always taking money in and out. But meanwhile Mrs. Lee feared lest it should be spent, and begged them to restore it to the savings' bank. This had not been done when she left for Southport. Bill and Mary went to school. Little Jenny was the darling of all, and toddled about at home, having been her sister Bessy's especial charge when all went on well, and the mother used to go out to wash.

Tom and Jem were both older than Bessy, who was fifteen. Then there were Bill, Mary, and little Jenny. They were all good kids, but they all had their flaws. Tom and Jem contributed to the family's income with their earnings from the factory and happily handed over their wages to their mother, who insisted on saving a little bit each week in the bank. It was one of her sorrows that when the doctor recommended an expensive diet for her during her illness (something she stubbornly believed she could have done without), her boys took their money out to buy it for her. The item didn't even cost a quarter of their savings, but they had postponed putting the remaining amount back in the bank, arguing that the doctor's bill still needed to be paid and that it seemed silly to keep taking money in and out. Meanwhile, Mrs. Lee worried it would be spent and urged them to put it back into the savings bank. This hadn't been done when she left for Southport. Bill and Mary attended school. Little Jenny was the favorite of everyone, wandering around at home, as she was especially cared for by her sister Bessy when everything was going smoothly, and their mother would go out to do laundry.

Mrs. Lee, however, had always made a point of giving all her children who were at home a comfortable breakfast at seven, before she set out to her day's work; and she prepared the boys' dinner ready for Bessy to warm for them. At night, too, she was anxious to be at home as soon after her boys as she could; and many of her employers respected her wish, and, finding her hard-working and conscientious, took care to set her at liberty early in the evening.

Mrs. Lee, however, always made sure to give all her kids who were home a nice breakfast at seven before she headed out for the day. She also prepared the boys' dinner for Bessy to heat up for them. In the evenings, she wanted to be home as soon as possible after her boys, and many of her employers respected that wish. They appreciated her hard work and dedication, so they made an effort to let her go early in the evening.

Bessy felt very proud and womanly when she returned home from seeing her mother off by the railway. She looked round the house with a new feeling of proprietorship, and then went to claim little Jenny from the neighbour's where she had been left while Bessy had gone to the station. They asked her to stay and have a bit of chat; but she replied that she could not, for that it was near dinner-time, and she refused the invitation that was then given her to go in some evening. She was full of good plans and resolutions.

Bessy felt really proud and grown-up when she got home after seeing her mom off at the train station. She looked around the house with a fresh sense of ownership, and then went to pick up little Jenny from the neighbor's, where she'd been left while Bessy was at the station. They invited her to stay for a chat, but she said she couldn't because it was almost dinner time, and she turned down their offer to come over one evening. She was full of great plans and intentions.

That afternoon she took Jenny and went to her teacher's to borrow a book, which she meant to ask one of her brothers to read to her in the evenings while she worked. She knew that it was a book which Jem would like, for though she had never read it, one of her school-fellows had told her it was all about the sea, and desert islands, and cocoanut-trees, just the things that Jem liked to hear about. How happy they would all be this evening.

That afternoon she took Jenny and went to her teacher's to borrow a book, which she planned to ask one of her brothers to read to her at night while she worked. She knew it was a book that Jem would enjoy because, even though she had never read it, one of her classmates had told her it was all about the sea, desert islands, and coconut trees—all the things that Jem loved to hear about. They would all be so happy this evening.

She hurried Jenny off to bed before her brothers came home; Jenny did not like to go so early, and had to be bribed and coaxed to give up the pleasure of sitting on brother Tom's knee; and when she was in bed, she could not go to sleep, and kept up a little whimper of distress. Bessy kept calling out to her, now in gentle, now in sharp tones, as she made the hearth clean and bright against her brothers' return, as she settled Bill and Mary to their next day's lessons, and got her work ready for a happy evening.

She rushed Jenny off to bed before her brothers got home; Jenny didn’t want to go so early and needed to be bribed and persuaded to give up the fun of sitting on brother Tom's lap. Once she was in bed, she couldn't fall asleep and let out a little whimper of distress. Bessy kept calling out to her, sometimes gently and sometimes sharply, as she cleaned and brightened the hearth for her brothers' return, helped Bill and Mary with their lessons for the next day, and got her work ready for a fun evening.

Presently the elder boys came in.

Presently, the older boys came in.

"Where's Jenny?" asked Tom, the first thing.

"Where's Jenny?" Tom asked right away.

"I've put her to bed," said Bessy. "I've borrowed a book for you to read to me while I darn the stockings; and it was time for Jenny to go."

"I've put her to bed," Bessy said. "I borrowed a book for you to read to me while I mend the stockings; and it was time for Jenny to leave."

"Mother never puts her to bed so soon," said Tom, dissatisfied.

"Mom never puts her to bed this early," said Tom, unhappy.

"But she'd be so in the way of any quietness over our reading," said Bessy.

"But she would interrupt any peace while we were reading," said Bessy.

"I don't want to read," said Tom; "I want Jenny to sit on my knee, as she always does, while I eat my supper."

"I don't want to read," said Tom; "I want Jenny to sit on my lap, like she always does, while I eat my dinner."

"Tom, Tom, dear Tom!" called out little Jenny, who had heard his voice, and, perhaps, a little of the conversation.

"Tom, Tom, sweet Tom!" shouted little Jenny, who had heard his voice and maybe a bit of the conversation.

Tom made but two steps upstairs, and re-appeared with Jenny in his arms, in her night-clothes. The little girl looked at Bessy half triumphant and half afraid. Bessy did not speak, but she was evidently very much displeased. Tom began to eat his porridge with Jenny on his knee. Bessy sat in sullen silence; she was vexed with Tom, vexed with Jenny, and vexed with Jem, to gratify whose taste for reading travels she had especially borrowed this book, which he seemed to care so little about. She brooded over her fancied wrongs, ready to fall upon the first person who might give the slightest occasion for anger. It happened to be poor little Jenny, who, by some awkward movement, knocked over the jug of milk, and made a great splash on Bessy's clean white floor.

Tom took just two steps upstairs and came back with Jenny in his arms, dressed in her nightgowns. The little girl glanced at Bessy, feeling a mix of triumph and fear. Bessy didn’t say anything, but it was clear she was very displeased. Tom started eating his porridge with Jenny sitting on his knee. Bessy sat in a brooding silence; she was annoyed with Tom, annoyed with Jenny, and annoyed with Jem, for whose love of travel stories she had specifically borrowed this book, which he didn’t seem to care about at all. She ruminated on her imagined grievances, ready to lash out at the first person who gave her even the slightest reason to be angry. It turned out to be poor little Jenny, who, in an awkward moment, knocked over the jug of milk, splattering it all over Bessy’s clean white floor.

"Never mind!" said Tom, as Jenny began to cry. "I like my porridge as well without milk as with it."

"Forget it!" said Tom, as Jenny started to cry. "I enjoy my porridge just as much without milk as with it."

"Oh, never mind!" said Bessy, her colour rising, and her breath growing shorter. "Never mind dirtying anything, Jenny; it's only giving trouble to Bessy! But I'll make you mind," continued she, as she caught a glance of intelligence peep from Jem's eyes to Tom; and she slapped Jenny's head. The moment she had done it she was sorry for it; she could have beaten herself now with the greatest pleasure for having given way to passion; for she loved little Jenny dearly, and she saw that she really had hurt her. But Jem, with his loud, deep, "For shame, Bessy!" and Tom, with his excess of sympathy with his little sister's wrongs, checked back any expression which Bessy might have uttered of sorrow and regret. She sat there ten times more unhappy than she had been before the accident, hardening her heart to the reproaches of her conscience, yet feeling most keenly that she had been acting wrongly. No one seemed to notice her; this was the evening she had planned and arranged for so busily; and the others, who never thought about it at all, were all quiet and happy, at least in outward appearance, while she was so wretched. By-and-by, she felt the touch of a little soft hand stealing into her own. She looked to see who it was; it was Mary, who till now had been busy learning her lessons, but uncomfortably conscious of the discordant spirit prevailing in the room; and who had at last ventured up to Bessy, as the one who looked the most unhappy, to express, in her own little gentle way, her sympathy in sorrow. Mary was not a quick child; she was plain and awkward in her ways, and did not seem to have many words in which to tell her feelings, but she was very tender and loving, and submitted meekly and humbly to the little slights and rebuffs she often met with for her stupidity.

"Oh, forget it!" Bessy said, her face flushing and her breathing getting quicker. "Never mind messing anything up, Jenny; it's just causing trouble for me! But I’ll make you pay attention," she continued, noticing a knowing look pass between Jem and Tom, and she slapped Jenny’s head. As soon as she did it, she regretted it; she would have happily punished herself for losing her temper because she loved little Jenny so much and realized she had really hurt her. But Jem, with his loud, deep, "Shame on you, Bessy!" and Tom, filled with sympathy for what his little sister had suffered, held back any words Bessy might have expressed in sadness and regret. She sat there feeling ten times more miserable than she had before the incident, hardening her heart against her conscience's accusations while acutely aware that she had acted wrongly. No one seemed to notice her; this was the evening she had planned and prepared for so diligently, and the others, who didn’t think about it at all, were all quiet and happy, at least on the outside, while she was so miserable. After a while, she felt a small, gentle hand slip into hers. She turned to see who it was; it was Mary, who had been busy studying her lessons but was uncomfortably aware of the tension in the room. Finally, she had come up to Bessy, the one who seemed the saddest, to show her sympathy in her own gentle way. Mary wasn’t a quick child; she was plain and awkward, and she didn’t seem to have many words to express her feelings, but she was very caring and loving, and she meekly accepted the little dismissals and insults she often faced for her clumsiness.

"Dear Bessy! good night!" said she, kissing her sister; and, at the soft kiss, Bessy's eyes filled with tears, and her heart began to melt.

"Dear Bessy! Good night!" she said, kissing her sister; and at the gentle kiss, Bessy's eyes filled with tears, and her heart started to soften.

"Jenny," continued Mary, going to the little spoilt, wilful girl, "will you come to bed with me, and I'll tell you stories about school, and sing you my songs as I undress? Come, little one!" said she, holding out her arms. Jenny was tempted by this speech, and went off to bed in a more reasonable frame of mind than any one had dared to hope.

"Jenny," Mary said, approaching the little spoiled, stubborn girl, "will you come to bed with me? I'll share stories about school and sing you my songs while I get ready for bed. Come on, little one!" she said, opening her arms. Jenny was drawn in by this offer and went to bed feeling much more reasonable than anyone had expected.

And now all seemed clear and open for the reading, but each was too proud to propose it. Jem, indeed, seemed to have forgotten the book altogether, he was so busy whittling away at a piece of wood. At last Tom, by a strong effort, said, "Bessy, mayn't we have the book now?"

And now everything felt clear and ready for reading, but everyone was too proud to suggest it. Jem, in fact, seemed to have completely forgotten about the book since he was so focused on carving a piece of wood. Finally, Tom made a strong effort and said, "Bessy, can we have the book now?"

"No!" said Jem, "don't begin reading, for I must go out and try and make Ned Bates give me a piece of ash-wood—deal is just good for nothing."

"No!" Jem said, "don't start reading yet, because I have to go out and try to get Ned Bates to give me a piece of ash wood—this deal is just useless."

"Oh!" said Bessy, "I don't want any one to read this book who does not like it. But I know mother would be better pleased if you were stopping at home quiet, rather than rambling to Ned Bates's at this time of night."

"Oh!" Bessy said, "I don't want anyone to read this book if they don't like it. But I know Mom would be much happier if you were staying home quietly instead of heading over to Ned Bates’s at this time of night."

"I know what mother would like as well as you, and I'm not going to be preached to by a girl," said Jem, taking up his cap and going out. Tom yawned and went up to bed. Bessy sat brooding over the evening.

"I know what Mom wants just as well as you do, and I'm not going to listen to a lecture from a girl," said Jem, grabbing his cap and heading out. Tom yawned and went to bed. Bessy sat there, lost in thought about the evening.

"So much as I thought and I planned! I'm sure I tried to do what was right, and make the boys happy at home. And yet nothing has happened as I wanted it to do. Every one has been so cross and contrary. Tom would take Jenny up when she ought to have been in bed. Jem did not care a straw for this book that I borrowed on purpose for him, but sat laughing. I saw, though he did not think I did, when all was going provoking and vexatious. Mary—no! Mary was a help and a comfort, as she always is, I think, though she is so stupid over her book. Mary always contrives to get people right, and to have her own way somehow; and yet I'm sure she does not take half the trouble I do to please people."

"I had so many thoughts and plans! I'm sure I tried to do the right thing and make the boys happy at home. Yet, nothing has turned out the way I wanted. Everyone has been so grumpy and difficult. Tom would pick up Jenny when she should have been in bed. Jem didn’t care at all for the book I borrowed just for him; he just sat there laughing. I noticed, even though he thought I didn't, when everything was going frustratingly wrong. Mary—no! Mary has always been a help and a comfort, as she always is, even if she can be a bit clueless with her book. Mary always manages to get people sorted out and to have things go her way somehow; and yet I'm sure she doesn’t put in half the effort I do to make people happy."

Jem came back soon, disappointed because Ned Bates was out, and could not give him any ash-wood. Bessy said it served him right for going at that time of night, and the brother and sister spoke angrily to each other all the way upstairs, and parted without even saying good-night. Jenny was asleep when Bessy entered the bedroom which she shared with her sisters and her mother; but she saw Mary's wakeful eyes looking at her as she came in.

Jem came back soon, feeling let down because Ned Bates was out and couldn’t give him any ash-wood. Bessy said he deserved it for going out at that time of night, and the brother and sister argued all the way up the stairs, parting without even saying goodnight. Jenny was asleep when Bessy walked into the bedroom she shared with her sisters and mother, but she noticed Mary’s wide-awake eyes staring at her as she entered.

"Oh, Mary," said she, "I wish mother was back. The lads would mind her, and now I see they'll just go and get into mischief to spite and plague me."

"Oh, Mary," she said, "I wish Mom was back. The boys would listen to her, and now I see they'll just go and get into trouble to annoy and bother me."

"I don't think it's for that," said Mary, softly. "Jem did want that ash-wood, I know, for he told me in the morning he didn't think that deal would do. He wants to make a wedge to keep the window from rattling so on windy nights; you know how that fidgets mother."

"I don't think it's for that," Mary said quietly. "Jem definitely wanted that ash wood, because he told me this morning that he didn’t think that deal would work. He wants to make a wedge to stop the window from rattling on windy nights; you know how that bothers mom."

The next day, little Mary, on her way to school, went round by Ned Bates's to beg a piece of wood for her brother Jem; she brought it home to him at dinner-time, and asked him to be so good as to have everything ready for a quiet whittling at night, while Tom or Bessy read aloud. She told Jenny she would make haste with her lessons, so as to be ready to come to bed early, and talk to her about school (a grand, wonderful place, in Jenny's eyes), and thus Mary quietly and gently prepared for a happy evening, by attending to the kind of happiness for which every one wished.

The next day, little Mary, on her way to school, stopped by Ned Bates's to ask for a piece of wood for her brother Jem. She brought it home to him at lunch and asked him if he could have everything ready for a relaxing whittling session that night while Tom or Bessy read aloud. She told Jenny she would hurry through her lessons to be ready for bed early, so they could talk about school (a grand, wonderful place in Jenny's eyes). In this way, Mary quietly and gently set things up for a happy evening, focusing on the kind of happiness everyone wished for.

While Mary had thus been busy preparing for a happy evening, Bessy had been spending part of the afternoon at a Mrs. Foster's, a neighbour of her mother's, and a very tidy, industrious old widow. Mrs. Foster earned part of her livelihood by working for the shops where knitted work of all kinds is to be sold; and Bessy's attention was caught, almost as soon as she went in, by a very gay piece of wool-knitting, in a new stitch, that was to be used as a warm covering for the feet. After admiring its pretty looks, Bessy thought how useful it might be to her mother; and when Mrs. Foster heard this, she offered to teach Bessy how to do it. But where were the wools to come from? Those which Mrs. Foster used were provided her by the shop; and she was a very poor woman—too poor to make presents, though rich enough (as we all are) to give help of many other kinds, and willing too to do what she could (which some of us are not).

While Mary had been busy getting ready for a fun evening, Bessy had spent part of the afternoon at Mrs. Foster's, a neighbor of her mother's who was a neat and hardworking old widow. Mrs. Foster made some of her living by creating knitted items to sell in stores, and Bessy's attention was quickly captured by a bright piece of wool knitting in a new stitch that was meant to be a warm cover for the feet. After admiring how pretty it looked, Bessy thought about how useful it could be for her mother, and when Mrs. Foster heard this, she offered to teach Bessy how to make it. But where would the yarn come from? The yarn Mrs. Foster used was supplied by the shop, and she was a very poor woman—too poor to give gifts, though rich enough (as we all are) to offer help in many other ways, and she was also willing to do what she could (which some of us are not).

The two sat perplexed. "How much did you say it would cost?" said Bessy at last; as if the article was likely to have become cheaper, since she asked the question before.

The two sat confused. "How much did you say it would cost?" Bessy finally asked, as if the price might have gone down since she asked earlier.

"Well! it's sure to be more than two shillings if it's German wool. You might get it for eighteenpence if you could be content with English."

"Well! It’s definitely going to be more than two shillings if it’s German wool. You could get it for eighteen pence if you’re okay with English."

"But I've not got eighteenpence," said Bessy, gloomily.

"But I don’t have eighteen pence," Bessy said, feeling down.

"I could lend it you," said Mrs. Foster, "if I was sure of having it back before Monday. But it's part of my rent-money. Could you make sure, do you think?"

"I could lend it to you," Mrs. Foster said, "if I was sure I'd get it back before Monday. But it’s part of my rent money. Do you think you could make sure of that?"

"Oh, yes!" said Bessy, eagerly. "At least I'd try. But perhaps I had better not take it, for after all I don't know where I could get it. What Tom and Jem earn is little enough for the house, now that mother's washing is cut off."

"Oh, yes!" Bessy said eagerly. "I’d definitely try. But maybe I shouldn’t take it, since I really don’t know where I could get it. What Tom and Jem earn is barely enough for the household, especially now that Mom's washing income is gone."

"They are good, dutiful lads, to give it to their mother," said Mrs. Foster, sighing: for she thought of her own boys, that had left her in her old age to toil on, with faded eyesight and weakened strength.

"They are good, responsible boys to help their mother," said Mrs. Foster, sighing; she was thinking of her own sons, who had left her in her old age to work on, with failing eyesight and diminished strength.

"Oh! but mother makes them each keep a shilling out of it for themselves," said Bessy, in a complaining tone, for she wanted money, and was inclined to envy any one who possessed it.

"Oh! but mom makes them all save a shilling out of it for themselves," said Bessy, in a complaining tone, because she wanted money and was feeling a bit jealous of anyone who had it.

"That's right enough," said Mrs. Foster. "They that earn it should have some of the power over it."

"That's absolutely right," said Mrs. Foster. "Those who earn it should have some control over it."

"But about this wool; this eighteenpence! I wish I was a boy and could earn money. I wish mother would have let me go to work in the factory."

"But about this wool; this eighteen pence! I wish I were a boy and could make money. I wish my mom would let me work in the factory."

"Come now, Bessy, I can have none of that nonsense. Thy mother knows what's best for thee; and I'm not going to hear thee complain of what she has thought right. But may be, I can help you to a way of gaining eighteenpence. Mrs. Scott at the worsted shop told me that she should want some one to clean on Saturday; now you're a good strong girl, and can do a woman's work if you've a mind. Shall I say you will go? and then I don't mind if I lend you my eighteenpence. You'll pay me before I want my rent on Monday."

"Come on, Bessy, I can’t deal with that nonsense. Your mother knows what’s best for you, and I’m not going to listen to you complain about what she thinks is right. But maybe I can help you find a way to earn eighteen pence. Mrs. Scott at the yarn shop told me she needs someone to clean on Saturday; now you’re a strong girl and can do a woman’s work if you want to. Should I say you’ll go? I don’t mind lending you my eighteen pence. You can pay me back before I need my rent on Monday."

"Oh! thank you, dear Mrs. Foster," said Bessy. "I can scour as well as any woman, mother often says so; and I'll do my best on Saturday; they shan't blame you for having spoken up for me."

"Oh! Thank you, dear Mrs. Foster," said Bessy. "I can clean as well as any woman, my mom often says so; and I'll do my best on Saturday; they won't blame you for having spoken up for me."

"No, Bessy, they won't, I'm sure, if you do your best. You're a good sharp girl for your years."

"No, Bessy, they won't, I'm sure, if you give it your all. You're a smart girl for your age."

Bessy lingered for some time, hoping that Mrs. Foster would remember her offer of lending her the money; but finding that she had quite forgotten it, she ventured to remind the kind old woman. That it was nothing but forgetfulness, was evident from the haste with which Mrs. Foster bustled up to her tea-pot and took from it the money required.

Bessy waited for a while, hoping that Mrs. Foster would remember her offer to lend her the money. But when she realized that Mrs. Foster had completely forgotten, she decided to gently remind the kind old woman. It was clear that it was just forgetfulness, given the quickness with which Mrs. Foster hurried to her teapot and took out the needed money.

"You're as welcome to it as can be, Bessy, as long as I'm sure of its being repaid by Monday. But you're in a mighty hurry about this coverlet," continued she, as she saw Bessy put on her bonnet and prepare to go out. "Stay, you must take patterns, and go to the right shop in St. Mary's Gate. Why, your mother won't be back this three weeks, child."

"You're more than welcome to it, Bessy, as long as I can count on getting it back by Monday. But you seem really eager to get this coverlet," she continued, noticing Bessy putting on her bonnet and getting ready to leave. "Wait, you need to take some samples and head to the right store on St. Mary's Gate. Your mom won't be back for another three weeks, dear."

"No. But I can't abide waiting, and I want to set to it before it is dark; and you'll teach me the stitch, won't you, when I come back with the wools? I won't be half an hour away."

"No. But I can't stand waiting, and I want to get started before it gets dark; and you'll show me the stitch, right, when I come back with the yarn? I won't be gone for more than half an hour."

But Mary and Bill had to "abide waiting" that afternoon; for though the neighbour at whose house the key was left could let them into the house, there was no supper ready for them on their return from school; even Jenny was away spending the afternoon with a playfellow; the fire was nearly out, the milk had been left at a neighbour's; altogether home was very comfortless to the poor tired children, and Bill grumbled terribly; Mary's head ached, and the very tones of her brother's voice, as he complained, gave her pain; and for a minute she felt inclined to sit down and cry. But then she thought of many little sayings which she had heard from her teacher—such as "Never complain of what you can cure," "Bear and forbear," and several other short sentences of a similar description. So she began to make up the fire, and asked Bill to fetch some chips; and when he gave her the gruff answer, that he did not see any use in making a fire when there was nothing to cook by it, she went herself and brought the wood without a word of complaint.

But Mary and Bill had to wait that afternoon; even though the neighbor who had the key could let them into the house, there was no dinner ready for them when they got back from school. Jenny was also out, spending the afternoon with a friend. The fire was nearly out, and the milk was at a neighbor's place. Overall, home felt really uncomfortable for the poor tired kids, and Bill complained a lot. Mary's head hurt, and even the sound of her brother's voice while he complained caused her pain; for a moment, she felt like sitting down and crying. But then she remembered some sayings from her teacher—like "Never complain about what you can fix," "Bear and forbear," and a few other similar phrases. So she started to stoke the fire and asked Bill to grab some chips. When he gruffly replied that he didn’t see the point in making a fire when there was nothing to cook, she went and got the wood herself without saying a word of complaint.

Presently Bill said, "Here! you lend me those bellows; you're not blowing it in the right way; girls never do!" He found out that Mary was wise in making a bright fire ready; for before the blowing was ended, the neighbour with whom the milk had been left brought it in, and little handy Mary prepared the porridge as well as the mother herself could have done. They had just ended when Bessy came in almost breathless; for she had suddenly remembered, in the middle of her knitting-lesson, that Bill and Mary must be at home from school.

Right now, Bill said, "Hey! Let me use those bellows; you're not blowing it the right way; girls never do!" He realized that Mary was smart for getting a nice fire started because just as they finished blowing, the neighbor who had the milk brought it in, and little handy Mary made the porridge just as well as their mom could have. They had just finished when Bessy came in almost out of breath because she suddenly remembered, in the middle of her knitting lesson, that Bill and Mary must be home from school.

"Oh!" she said, "that's right. I have so hurried myself! I was afraid the fire would be out. Where's Jenny? You were to have called for her, you know, as you came from school. Dear! how stupid you are, Mary. I am sure I told you over and over again. Now don't cry, silly child. The best thing you can do is to run off back again for her."

"Oh!" she said, "that's right. I've rushed so much! I was worried the fire would go out. Where's Jenny? You were supposed to pick her up on your way back from school, remember? Seriously! How forgetful you are, Mary. I'm sure I reminded you repeatedly. Now, don’t cry, silly girl. The best thing you can do is to go back and get her."

"But my lessons, Bessy. They are so bad to learn. It's tables day to-morrow," pleaded Mary.

"But my lessons, Bessy. They're so hard to learn. It's tables day tomorrow," pleaded Mary.

"Nonsense; tables are as easy as can be. I can say up to sixteen times sixteen in no time."

"Nonsense; tables are super easy. I can quickly multiply up to sixteen times sixteen."

"But you know, Bessy, I'm very stupid, and my head aches so to-night!"

"But you know, Bessy, I feel really stupid, and my head hurts so much tonight!"

"Well! the air will do it good. Really, Mary, I would go myself, only I'm so busy; and you know Bill is too careless, mother says, to fetch Jenny through the streets; and besides they would quarrel, and you can always manage Jenny."

"Well! The fresh air will do her good. Honestly, Mary, I’d go myself, but I’m just so busy; and you know Bill is too irresponsible, as mom says, to bring Jenny through the streets; plus, they would end up arguing, and you always know how to handle Jenny."

Mary sighed, and went away to bring her sister home. Bessy sat down to her knitting. Presently Bill came up to her with some question about his lesson. She told him the answer without looking at the book; it was all wrong, and made nonsense; but Bill did not care to understand what he learnt, and went on saying, "Twelve inches make one shilling," as contentedly as if it were right.

Mary sighed and walked away to bring her sister home. Bessy sat down to knit. Soon, Bill came over to her with a question about his lesson. She answered without looking at the book; it was completely wrong and didn't make sense, but Bill didn’t mind understanding what he learned and kept saying, "Twelve inches make one shilling," as happily as if it were correct.

Mary brought Jenny home quite safely. Indeed, Mary always did succeed in everything, except learning her lessons well; and sometimes, if the teacher could have known how many tasks fell upon the willing, gentle girl at home, she would not have thought that poor Mary was slow or a dunce; and such thoughts would come into the teacher's mind sometimes, although she fully appreciated Mary's sweetness and humility of disposition.

Mary brought Jenny home safely. In fact, Mary always managed to succeed in everything, except for studying her lessons properly; and sometimes, if the teacher had known how many responsibilities fell on the willing, gentle girl at home, she wouldn’t have thought that poor Mary was slow or a dunce. Those thoughts would occasionally cross the teacher's mind, even though she truly valued Mary's kindness and humble nature.

To-night she tried hard at her tables, and all to no use. Her head ached so, she could not remember them, do what she would. She longed to go to her mother, whose cool hands around her forehead always seemed to do her so much good, and whose soft, loving words were such a help to her when she had to bear pain. She had arranged so many plans for to-night, and now all were deranged by Bessy's new fancy for knitting. But Mary did not see this in the plain, clear light in which I have put it before you. She only was sorry that she could not make haste with her lessons, as she had promised Jenny, who was now upbraiding her with the non-fulfilment of her words. Jenny was still up when Tom and Jem came in. They spoke sharply to Bessy for not having their porridge ready; and while she was defending herself, Mary, even at the risk of imperfect lessons, began to prepare the supper for her brothers. She did it all so quietly, that, almost before they were aware, it was ready for them; and Bessy, suddenly ashamed of herself, and touched by Mary's quiet helpfulness, bent down and kissed her, as once more she settled to the never-ending difficulty of her lesson.

Tonight, she worked hard on her tables, but it was no use. Her head hurt so much that she couldn’t remember them no matter how hard she tried. She wished she could go to her mother, whose cool hands on her forehead always seemed to help, and whose soft, loving words were such a comfort when she was in pain. She had made so many plans for tonight, and all of them were thrown off by Bessy’s new interest in knitting. But Mary didn’t see it as clearly as I’ve explained it to you. She just felt sad that she couldn’t hurry with her lessons, as she had promised Jenny, who was now scolding her for not keeping her word. Jenny was still up when Tom and Jem entered. They spoke sharply to Bessy for not having their porridge ready, and while she was defending herself, Mary, even at the risk of imperfect lessons, started preparing supper for her brothers. She did it so quietly that almost before they noticed, it was ready for them; and Bessy, suddenly feeling ashamed and touched by Mary’s quiet helpfulness, bent down and kissed her while she settled back into the ongoing challenge of her lesson.

Mary threw her arms round Bessy's neck, and began to cry, for this little mark of affection went to her heart; she had been so longing for a word or a sign of love in her suffering.

Mary wrapped her arms around Bessy's neck and started to cry, because this small gesture of affection touched her deeply; she had been desperately longing for a word or a sign of love in her suffering.

"Come, Molly," said Jem, "don't cry like a baby;" but he spoke very kindly. "What's the matter? the old headache come back? Never mind. Go to bed, and it will be better in the morning."

"Come on, Molly," said Jem, "don’t cry like a baby;" but he spoke very gently. "What’s wrong? Is that old headache back? It’s okay. Just go to bed, and you’ll feel better in the morning."

"But I can't go to bed. I don't know my lesson!" Mary looked happier, though the tears were in her eyes.

"But I can't go to bed. I don't know my lesson!" Mary looked happier, even though tears were in her eyes.

"I know mine," said Bill, triumphantly.

"I know mine," Bill said, feeling triumphant.

"Come here," said Jem. "There! I've time enough to whittle away at this before mother comes back. Now let's see this difficult lesson."

"Come here," Jem said. "There! I've got enough time to carve at this before Mom comes back. Now let's check out this tough lesson."

Jem's help soon enabled Mary to conquer her lesson; but, meanwhile, Jenny and Bill had taken to quarrelling in spite of Bessy's scolding, administered in small sharp doses, as she looked up from her all-absorbing knitting.

Jem's support quickly helped Mary master her lesson; however, in the meantime, Jenny and Bill had started arguing despite Bessy's reprimands, given in small, sharp doses as she glanced up from her engrossing knitting.

"Well," said Tom, "with this riot on one side, and this dull lesson on the other, and Bessy as cross as can be in the midst, I can understand what makes a man go out to spend his evenings from home."

"Well," Tom said, "with this chaos on one side, and this boring lesson on the other, and Bessy as grumpy as ever in the middle, I totally get why someone would want to go out and spend their evenings away from home."

Bessy looked up, suddenly wakened up to a sense of the danger which her mother had dreaded.

Bessy looked up, suddenly aware of the danger that her mother had feared.

Bessy thought it was very fortunate that it fell on a Saturday, of all days in the week, that Mrs. Scott wanted her; for Mary would be at home, who could attend to the household wants of everybody; and so she satisfied her conscience at leaving the post of duty that her mother had assigned to her, and that she had promised to fulfil. She was so eager about her own plans that she did not consider this; she did not consider at all, or else I think she would have seen many things to which she seemed to be blind now. When were Mary's lessons for Monday to be learnt? Bessy knew as well as we do, that lesson-learning was hard work to Mary. If Mary worked as hard as she could after morning school she could hardly get the house cleaned up bright and comfortable before her brothers came home from the factory, which "loosed" early on the Saturday afternoon; and if pails of water, chairs heaped up one on the other, and tables put topsy-turvy on the dresser, were the most prominent objects in the house-place, there would be no temptation for the lads to stay at home; besides which, Mary, tired and weary (however gentle she might be), would not be able to give the life to the evening that Bessy, a clever, spirited girl, near their own age, could easily do, if she chose to be interested and sympathising in what they had to tell. But Bessy did not think of all this. What she did think about was the pleasant surprise she should give her mother by the warm and pretty covering for her feet, which she hoped to present her with on her return home. And if she had done the duties she was pledged to on her mother's departure first, if they had been compatible with her plan of being a whole day absent from home, in order to earn the money for the wools, the project of the surprise would have been innocent and praiseworthy.

Bessy thought it was really lucky that Mrs. Scott wanted her on a Saturday, of all days, because Mary would be home to take care of everyone’s needs. This made Bessy feel better about leaving the duty her mother had assigned to her, which she had promised to fulfill. She was so focused on her own plans that she didn’t think about this; she didn't think at all, or else she would have realized many things she seemed oblivious to right now. When was Mary supposed to study for her Monday lessons? Bessy knew as well as we do that studying was tough for Mary. If Mary worked as hard as she could after morning school, she could barely get the house cleaned up and comfortable before her brothers got back from the factory, which closed early on Saturday afternoon. If there were buckets of water, chairs piled on top of each other, and tables turned upside down on the dresser, there wouldn’t be any reason for the boys to want to stay home. Plus, Mary, tired and worn out (no matter how gentle she was), wouldn’t be able to bring energy to the evening like Bessy, a clever and lively girl close to their age, could easily do if she chose to take an interest and connect with what they had to share. But Bessy didn’t think about any of this. Instead, she thought about the nice surprise she would give her mother with the warm and pretty cover for her feet, which she hoped to give her when she returned home. If she had taken care of her responsibilities to her mother first, and if those duties had fit in with her plan to be away from home for an entire day to earn the money for the wool, the surprise would have been innocent and commendable.

Bessy prepared everything for dinner before she left home that Saturday morning. She made a potato-pie all ready for putting in the oven; she was very particular in telling Mary what was to be cleaned, and how it was all to be cleaned; and then she kissed the children, and ran off to Mrs. Scott's. Mary was rather afraid of the responsibility thrust upon her; but still she was pleased that Bessy could trust her to do so much. She took Jenny to the ever-useful neighbour, as she and Bill went to school; but she was rather frightened when Mrs. Jones began to grumble about these frequent visits of the child.

Bessy got everything ready for dinner before she left home that Saturday morning. She prepared a potato pie, ready to go into the oven, and was very specific about what needed to be cleaned and how to clean it. Then she kissed the kids and hurried off to Mrs. Scott's. Mary felt a bit overwhelmed by the responsibility placed on her but was also happy that Bessy trusted her with so much. She took Jenny to the helpful neighbor while she and Bill went to school, but she felt a bit anxious when Mrs. Jones started complaining about the child's frequent visits.

"I was ready enough to take care of the wench when thy mother was ill; there was reason for that. And the child is a nice child enough, when she is not cross; but still there are some folks, it seems, who, if you give them an inch, will take an ell. Where's Bessy, that she can't mind her own sister?"

"I was more than willing to look after the girl when your mother was sick; there was good reason for that. The child is quite nice when she’s not throwing a fit; but it seems there are some people who, if you give them an inch, will take a mile. Where’s Bessy, that she can’t keep an eye on her own sister?"

"Gone out charing," said Mary, clasping the little hand in hers tighter, for she was afraid of Mrs. Jones's anger.

"Gone out charging," Mary said, gripping the little hand in hers tighter because she was worried about Mrs. Jones's anger.

"I could go out charing every day in the week if I'd the face to trouble other folks with my children," said Mrs. Jones, in a surly tone.

"I could go out working every day of the week if I had the nerve to bother other people with my kids," said Mrs. Jones, in a grumpy tone.

"Shall I take her back, ma'am?" said Mary, timidly, though she knew this would involve her staying away from school, and being blamed by the dear teacher. But Mrs. Jones growled worse than she bit, this time at least.

"Should I bring her back, ma'am?" Mary asked hesitantly, even though she realized this meant she’d have to miss school and be scolded by the beloved teacher. But Mrs. Jones complained more than she actually acted this time.

"No," said she, "you may leave her with me. I suppose she's had her breakfast?"

"No," she said, "you can leave her with me. I assume she's had her breakfast?"

"Yes; and I'll fetch her away as soon as ever I can after twelve."

"Yes, and I'll get her as soon as I can after twelve."

If Mary had been one to consider the hardships of her little lot, she might have felt this morning's occurrence as one;—that she, who dreaded giving trouble to anybody, and was painfully averse from asking any little favour for herself, should be the very one on whom it fell to presume upon another person's kindness. But Mary never did think of any hardships; they seemed the natural events of life, and as if it was fitting and proper that she, who managed things badly, and was such a dunce, should be blamed. Still she was rather flurried by Mrs. Jones's scolding; and almost wished that she had taken Jenny home again. Her lessons were not well said, owing to the distraction of her mind.

If Mary had been someone to think about the difficulties of her small life, she might have seen this morning's event as one; that she, who hated causing trouble for anyone and was really reluctant to ask for even the smallest favor for herself, would be the very one to rely on another person's kindness. But Mary never considered any hardships; they seemed like a normal part of life, and it felt appropriate that she, who often messed things up and was such a slow learner, should be blamed. Still, she was a bit rattled by Mrs. Jones's scolding and almost wished she had taken Jenny home again. Her lessons weren't going well because her mind was so distracted.

When she went for Jenny she found that Mrs. Jones, repenting of her sharp words, had given the little girl bread and treacle, and made her very comfortable; so much so that Jenny was not all at once ready to leave her little playmates, and when once she had set out on the road, she was in no humour to make haste. Mary thought of the potato-pie and her brothers, and could almost have cried, as Jenny, heedless of her sister's entreaties, would linger at the picture-shops.

When she went for Jenny, she found that Mrs. Jones, regretting her harsh words, had given the little girl bread and treacle and made her very comfortable. Jenny was so cozy that she wasn’t quite ready to leave her little friends. Once she started down the road, she wasn’t in a hurry at all. Mary thought about the potato pie and her brothers and almost cried as Jenny, ignoring her sister's pleas, lingered at the picture shops.

"I shall be obliged to go and leave you, Jenny! I must get dinner ready."

"I have to go now, Jenny! I need to get dinner ready."

"I don't care," said Jenny. "I don't want any dinner, and I can come home quite well by myself."

"I don’t care," Jenny said. "I don’t want any dinner, and I can get home just fine on my own."

Mary half longed to give her a fright, it was so provoking. But she thought of her mother, who was so anxious always about Jenny, and she did not do it. She kept patiently trying to attract her onwards, and at last they were at home. Mary stirred up the fire, which was to all appearance quite black; it blazed up, but the oven was cold. She put the pie in, and blew the fire; but the paste was quite white and soft when her brothers came home, eager and hungry.

Mary half wanted to scare her, it was so annoying. But she thought about her mom, who was always so worried about Jenny, so she didn’t do it. She kept trying patiently to get her to move along, and eventually, they made it home. Mary poked the fire, which looked completely black; it flared up, but the oven was cold. She put the pie in and blew on the fire; but the crust was still white and soft when her brothers came home, full of energy and hungry.

"Oh! Mary, what a manager you are!" said Tom. "Any one else would have remembered and put the pie in in time."

"Oh! Mary, you’re such a great manager!" Tom said. "Anyone else would have remembered to put the pie in on time."

Mary's eyes filled full of tears; but she did not try to justify herself. She went on blowing, till Jem took the bellows, and kindly told her to take off her bonnet, and lay the cloth. Jem was always kind. He gave Tom the best baked side of the pie, and quietly took the side himself where the paste was little better than dough, and the potatoes quite hard; and when he caught Mary's little anxious face watching him, as he had to leave part of his dinner untasted, he said, "Mary, I should like this pie warmed up for supper; there is nothing so good as potato-pie made hot the second time."

Mary's eyes filled with tears, but she didn't try to defend herself. She kept blowing, until Jem took the bellows and kindly told her to remove her bonnet and lay the cloth. Jem was always nice. He gave Tom the best-baked part of the pie and quietly took the side that had crust barely better than dough and the potatoes that were pretty hard. When he noticed Mary’s worried face watching him as he had to leave part of his dinner untouched, he said, "Mary, I'd like this pie warmed up for supper; there's nothing better than potato pie reheated."

Tom went off saying, "Mary, I would not have you for a wife on any account. Why, my dinner would never be ready, and your sad face would take away my appetite if it were."

Tom walked away saying, "Mary, I wouldn’t want you as my wife for any reason. My dinner would never be ready, and your sad face would ruin my appetite if it were."

But Jem kissed her and said, "Never mind, Mary! you and I will live together, old maid and old bachelor."

But Jem kissed her and said, "Don't worry, Mary! You and I will live together as an old maid and an old bachelor."

So she could set to with spirit to her cleaning, thinking there never was such a good brother as Jem; and as she dwelt upon his perfections, she thought who it was who had given her such a good, kind brother, and felt her heart full of gratitude to Him. She scoured and cleaned in right-down earnest. Jenny helped her for some time, delighted to be allowed to touch and lift things. But then she grew tired; and Bill was out of doors; so Mary had to do all by herself, and grew very nervous and frightened, lest all should not be finished and tidy against Tom came home. And the more frightened she grew, the worse she got on. Her hands trembled, and things slipped out of them; and she shook so, she could not lift heavy pieces of furniture quickly and sharply; and in the middle the clock struck the hour for her brothers' return, when all ought to have been tidy and ready for tea. She gave it up in despair, and began to cry.

So she got started with enthusiasm on her cleaning, thinking there had never been such a great brother as Jem. As she focused on his qualities, she thought about who had given her such a good, kind brother and felt her heart filled with gratitude to Him. She earnestly scrubbed and cleaned. Jenny helped her for a while, thrilled to be allowed to touch and move things. But then she got tired, and Bill was outside, so Mary had to do everything by herself, which made her very nervous and scared that she wouldn't finish everything neatly before Tom came home. The more anxious she became, the more things started to go wrong. Her hands shook, and things slipped out of her grip; she was so jittery that she couldn't lift heavy furniture quickly. Just then, the clock struck the hour for her brothers' return, when everything was supposed to be tidy and ready for tea. She gave up in despair and started to cry.

"Oh, Bessy, Bessy! why did you go away? I have tried hard, and I cannot do it," said she aloud, as if Bessy could hear.

"Oh, Bessy, Bessy! Why did you leave? I've tried so hard, and I just can't do it," she said aloud, as if Bessy could hear her.

"Dear Mary, don't cry," said Jenny, suddenly coming away from her play. "I'll help you. I am very strong. I can do anything. I can lift that pan off the fire."

"Dear Mary, don’t cry," Jenny said, suddenly stopping her play. "I’ll help you. I’m really strong. I can do anything. I can lift that pan off the fire."

The pan was full of boiling water, ready for Mary. Jenny took hold of the handle, and dragged it along the bar over the fire. Mary sprung forwards in terror to stop the little girl. She never knew how it was, but the next moment her arm and side were full of burning pain, which turned her sick and dizzy, and Jenny was crying passionately beside her.

The pan was full of boiling water, ready for Mary. Jenny grabbed the handle and dragged it along the bar over the fire. Mary lunged forward in panic to stop the little girl. She never understood what happened, but in the next moment, her arm and side were burning with pain, making her feel sick and dizzy, while Jenny cried intensely beside her.

"Oh, Mary! Mary! Mary! my hand is so scalded. What shall I do? I cannot bear it. It's all about my feet on the ground." She kept shaking her hand to cool it by the action of the air. Mary thought that she herself was dying, so acute and terrible was the pain; she could hardly keep from screaming out aloud; but she felt that if she once began she could not stop herself, so she sat still, moaning, and the tears running down her face like rain. "Go, Jenny," said she, "and tell some one to come."

"Oh, Mary! Mary! Mary! My hand is so burned. What should I do? I can't stand it. It's all about my feet on the ground." She kept shaking her hand to cool it with the air. Mary felt like she was dying; the pain was so sharp and unbearable that she could hardly keep from screaming. But she knew that if she started, she wouldn't be able to stop, so she sat there, moaning, with tears streaming down her face like rain. "Go, Jenny," she said, "and tell someone to come."

"I can't, I can't, my hand hurts so," said Jenny. But she flew wildly out of the house the next minute, crying out, "Mary is dead. Come, come, come!" For Mary could bear it no longer; but had fainted away, and looked, indeed, like one that was dead. Neighbours flocked in; and one ran for a doctor. In five minutes Tom and Jem came home. What a home it seems! People they hardly knew standing in the house-place, which looked as if it had never been cleaned—all was so wet, and in such disorder, and dirty with the trampling of many feet; Jenny still crying passionately, but half comforted at being at present the only authority as to how the affair happened; and faint moans from the room upstairs, where some women were cutting the clothes off poor Mary, preparatory for the doctor's inspection. Jem said directly, "Some one go straight to Mrs. Scott's, and fetch our Bessy. Her place is here, with Mary."

"I can't, I can't, my hand hurts so much," said Jenny. But she suddenly rushed out of the house the next minute, shouting, "Mary is dead. Come, come, come!" For Mary could take it no longer; she had fainted and looked like she was truly dead. Neighbors rushed in; and one ran for a doctor. Within five minutes, Tom and Jem came home. What a scene it was! People they barely knew filling the living room, which looked like it had never been cleaned—all was so wet, in such chaos, and dirty from so many feet; Jenny was still crying fiercely, but somewhat comforted to be the only one in charge of explaining how it all happened; and faint moans came from the room upstairs, where some women were cutting the clothes off poor Mary, getting ready for the doctor’s examination. Jem immediately said, "Someone go straight to Mrs. Scott's, and get our Bessy. She needs to be here, with Mary."

And then he civilly, but quietly, dismissed all the unnecessary and useless people, feeling sure that in case of any kind of illness, quiet was the best thing. Then he went upstairs.

And then he politely, but quietly, got rid of all the unnecessary and useless people, convinced that in case of any kind of illness, peace and quiet were the best things. Then he went upstairs.

Mary's face was scarlet now with violent pain; but she smiled a little through her tears at seeing Jem. As for him, he cried outright.

Mary's face was red now with intense pain, but she smiled a little through her tears when she saw Jem. As for him, he cried openly.

"I don't think it was anybody's fault, Jem," said she, softly. "It was very heavy to lift."

"I don't think it was anyone's fault, Jem," she said softly. "It was really heavy to lift."

"Are you in great pain, dear?" asked Jem, in a whisper.

"Are you in a lot of pain, dear?" Jem asked softly.

"I think I'm killed, Jem. I do think I am. And I did so want to see mother again."

"I think I'm going to die, Jem. I really think I am. And I really wanted to see Mom again."

"Nonsense!" said the woman who had been helping Mary. For, as she said afterwards, whether Mary died or lived, crying was a bad thing for her; and she saw the girl was ready to cry when she thought of her mother, though she had borne up bravely all the time the clothes were cut off.

"Nonsense!" said the woman who had been helping Mary. Because, as she mentioned later, whether Mary lived or died, crying was not good for her; and she noticed that the girl was on the verge of tears when she thought about her mother, even though she had held it together all the time the clothes were being cut off.

Bessy's face, which had been red with hard running, faded to a dead white when she saw Mary; she looked so shocked and ill that Jem had not the heart to blame her, although the minute before she came in, he had been feeling very angry with her. Bessy stood quite still at the foot of Mary's bed, never speaking a word, while the doctor examined her side and felt her pulse; only great round tears gathered in her eyes, and rolled down her cheeks, as she saw Mary quiver with pain. Jem followed the doctor downstairs. Then Bessy went and knelt beside Mary, and wiped away the tears that were trickling down the little face.

Bessy's face, which had been flushed from running hard, turned pale when she saw Mary; she looked so shocked and ill that Jem couldn't bring himself to blame her, even though just a minute before she walked in, he had been really angry with her. Bessy stood completely still at the foot of Mary's bed, not saying a word, while the doctor examined her side and checked her pulse; only big round tears filled her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she watched Mary flinch in pain. Jem followed the doctor downstairs. Then Bessy went and knelt beside Mary, wiping away the tears that were trickling down the little girl's face.

"Is it very bad, Mary?" asked Bessy.

"Is it really bad, Mary?" Bessy asked.

"Oh yes! yes! if I speak, I shall scream."

"Oh yes! Yes! If I say anything, I'll scream."

Then Bessy covered her head in the bed-clothes and cried outright.

Then Bessy buried her head in the blankets and cried loudly.

"I was not cross, was I? I did not mean to be—but I hardly know what I am saying," moaned out little Mary. "Please forgive me, Bessy, if I was cross."

"I wasn't angry, was I? I didn't mean to be—but I hardly know what I'm saying," sighed little Mary. "Please forgive me, Bessy, if I was rude."

"God forgive me!" said Bessy, very low. They were the first words she had spoken since she came home. But there could be no more talking between the sisters, for now the woman returned who had at first been assisting Mary. Presently Jem came to the door, and beckoned. Bessy rose up, and went with, him below. Jem looked very grave, yet not so sad as he had done before the doctor came. "He says she must go into the infirmary. He will see about getting her in."

"God forgive me!" Bessy said quietly. Those were the first words she had spoken since getting home. But there was no more talking between the sisters, as the woman who had initially been helping Mary returned. Soon, Jem appeared at the door and signaled to her. Bessy stood up and went downstairs with him. Jem looked very serious, but not as sad as he had been before the doctor arrived. "He says she needs to go to the infirmary. He'll take care of getting her admitted."

"Oh, Jem! I did so want to nurse her myself!" said Bessy, imploringly. "It was all my own fault," (she choked with crying); "and I thought I might do that for her, to make up."

"Oh, Jem! I really wanted to take care of her myself!" said Bessy, pleadingly. "It was all my fault," (she choked on her tears); "and I thought I could do that for her, to make it right."

"My dear Bessy,"—before he had seen Bessy, he had thought he could never call her "dear" again, but now he began—"My dear Bessy, we both want Mary to get better, don't we? I am sure we do. And we want to take the best way of making her so, whatever that is; well, then, I think we must not be considering what we should like best just for ourselves, but what people, who know as well as doctors do, say is the right way. I can't remember all that he said; but I'm clear that he told me, all wounds on the skin required more and better air to heal in than Mary could have here: and there the doctor will see her twice a day, if need be."

"My dear Bessy,"—before he had seen Bessy, he had thought he could never call her "dear" again, but now he began—"My dear Bessy, we both want Mary to get better, right? I'm sure we do. And we want to figure out the best way to help her, whatever that may be; so I think we shouldn't just think about what we would like for ourselves, but instead focus on what people who know as much as doctors say is the best approach. I can't remember everything he said, but I'm clear that he told me all skin wounds need more and better air to heal than Mary can get here: and there the doctor will see her twice a day, if necessary."

Bessy shook her head, but could not speak at first. At last she said, "Jem, I did so want to do something for her. No one could nurse her as I should."

Bessy shook her head but couldn't speak at first. Finally, she said, "Jem, I really wanted to do something for her. No one could take care of her like I would."

Jem was silent. At last he took Bessy's hand, for he wanted to say something to her that he was afraid might vex her, and yet that he thought he ought to say.

Jem was quiet. Finally, he took Bessy's hand because he wanted to say something to her that he feared might upset her, but he also felt it was something he needed to say.

"Bessy!" said he, "when mother went away, you planned to do all things right at home, and to make us all happy. I know you did. Now may I tell you how I think you went wrong? Don't be angry, Bessy."

"Bessy!" he said, "when Mom left, you set out to handle everything at home and make us all happy. I know you did. Can I share how I think you went off track? Please don't be upset, Bessy."

"I think I shall never have spirit enough in me to be angry again," said Bessy, humbly and sadly.

"I don’t think I’ll ever have enough energy in me to be angry again," Bessy said, feeling humble and sad.

"So much the better, dear. But don't over-fret about Mary. The doctor has good hopes of her, if he can get her into the infirmary. Now, I'm going on to tell you how I think you got wrong after mother left. You see, Bessy, you wanted to make us all happy your way—as you liked; just as you are wanting now to nurse Mary in your way, and as you like. Now, as far as I can make out, those folks who make home the happiest, are people who try and find out how others think they could be happy, and then, if it's not wrong, help them on with their wishes as far as they can. You know, you wanted us all to listen to your book; and very kind it was in you to think of it; only, you see, one wanted to whittle, and another wanted to do this or that, and then you were vexed with us all. I don't say but what I should have been if I had been in your place, and planned such a deal for others; only lookers-on always see a deal; and I saw that if you'd done what poor little Mary did next day, we should all have been far happier. She thought how she could forward us in our plans, instead of trying to force a plan of her own on us. She got me my right sort of wood for whittling, and arranged all nicely to get the little ones off to bed, so as to get the house quiet, if you wanted some reading, as she thought you did. And that's the way, I notice, some folks have of making a happy home. Others may mean just as well, but they don't hit the thing."

"So much the better, dear. But don’t worry too much about Mary. The doctor is optimistic about her, if he can get her into the infirmary. Now, I’m going to tell you where I think you went wrong after mom left. You see, Bessy, you wanted to make us all happy in your way—how you liked it; just like you want to take care of Mary in your way, and how you like it. From what I can tell, the people who make home the happiest are those who try to understand how others think they could be happy and then, if it’s not wrong, help them with their wishes as much as they can. You know, you wanted us all to listen to your book; and it was very kind of you to think of that; but one person wanted to whittle, and another wanted to do this or that, and then you got upset with us all. I don’t blame you; I would have been too if I were in your position and had planned so much for others. But onlookers can see a lot, and I noticed that if you had done what poor little Mary did the next day, we would all have been much happier. She thought about how she could support us in our plans instead of trying to impose her own plan on us. She got me the right kind of wood for whittling and organized everything to get the little ones off to bed, so the house would be quiet if you wanted to read, which she thought you did. And that’s how I see some people create a happy home. Others might mean well, but they just don’t hit the mark."

"I dare say it's true," said Bessy. "But sometimes you all hang about as if you did not know what to do. And I thought reading travels would just please you all."

"I really think it's true," said Bessy. "But sometimes you all just seem to be wandering around like you don't know what to do. I thought reading about travels would make you all happy."

Jem was touched by Bessy's humble way of speaking, so different from her usual cheerful, self-confident manner. He answered, "I know you did, dear. And many a time we should have been glad enough of it, when we had nothing to do, as you say."

Jem was moved by Bessy's modest way of speaking, so different from her usual cheerful, self-assured manner. He responded, "I know you did, dear. And many times we would have been really grateful for it when we had nothing to do, like you said."

"I had promised mother to try and make you all happy, and this is the end of it!" said Bessy, beginning to cry afresh.

"I promised Mom I'd try to make all of you happy, and this is how it ends!" said Bessy, starting to cry again.

"But, Bessy! I think you were not thinking of your promise, when you fixed to go out and char."

"But, Bessy! I don't think you were considering your promise when you planned to go out and clean."

"I thought of earning money."

"I considered making money."

"Earning money would not make us happy. We have enough, with care and management. If you were to have made us happy, you should have been at home, with a bright face, ready to welcome us; don't you think so, dear Bessy?"

"Earning money doesn't guarantee happiness. We have enough with good care and management. If you wanted to make us happy, you should have been at home, with a cheerful face, ready to greet us; don't you think so, dear Bessy?"

"I did not want the money for home. I wanted to make mother a present of such a pretty thing!"

"I didn't want the money for the house. I wanted to give my mom a gift of something really nice!"

"Poor mother! I am afraid we must send for her home now. And she has only been three days at Southport!"

"Poor mom! I'm afraid we have to bring her home now. And she's only been at Southport for three days!"

"Oh!" said Bessy, startled by this notion of Jem's; "don't, don't send for mother. The doctor did say so much about her going to Southport being the only thing for her, and I did so try to get her an order! It will kill her, Jem! indeed it will; you don't know how weak and frightened she is,—oh, Jem, Jem!"

"Oh!" said Bessy, taken aback by Jem's idea; "please, please don't call for Mom. The doctor mentioned that going to Southport is the only thing that can help her, and I really tried to get her an order! It will be the end of her, Jem! It really will; you don’t understand how weak and scared she is—oh, Jem, Jem!"

Jem felt the truth of what his sister was saying. At last, he resolved to leave the matter for the doctor to decide, as he had attended his mother, and now knew exactly how much danger there was about Mary. He proposed to Bessy that they should go and relieve the kind neighbour who had charge of Mary.

Jem understood what his sister was saying. Finally, he decided to leave the decision to the doctor, since he had taken care of his mother and now knew exactly how much danger Mary was in. He suggested to Bessy that they should go and help the kind neighbor who was taking care of Mary.

"But you won't send for mother," pleaded Bessy; "if it's the best thing for Mary, I'll wash up her things to-night, all ready for her to go into the infirmary. I won't think of myself, Jem."

"But you won't call for mom," Bessy urged; "if it's what's best for Mary, I'll clean up her stuff tonight, all set for her to go into the infirmary. I won't think about myself, Jem."

"Well! I must speak to the doctor," said Jem. "I must not try and fix any way just because we wish it, but because it is right."

"Well! I need to talk to the doctor," Jem said. "I can't just try to make things better because we want it to happen, but because it's the right thing to do."

All night long, Bessy washed and ironed, and yet was always ready to attend to Mary when Jem called her. She took Jenny's scalded hand in charge as well, and bathed it with the lotion the doctor sent; and all was done so meekly and patiently that even Tom was struck with it, and admired the change. The doctor came very early. He had prepared everything for Mary's admission into the infirmary. And Jem consulted him about sending for his mother home. Bessy sat trembling, awaiting his answer.

All night, Bessy washed and ironed, yet she was always ready to help Mary when Jem called her. She also took care of Jenny's burned hand, bathing it with the lotion the doctor provided; everything was done so gently and patiently that even Tom noticed and admired the change. The doctor arrived very early. He had arranged everything for Mary's admission into the infirmary. Jem asked him about sending for his mother to come home. Bessy sat nervously, waiting for his response.

"I am very unwilling to sanction any concealment. And yet, as you say, your mother is in a very delicate state. It might do her serious harm if she had any shock. Well! suppose for this once, I take it on myself. If Mary goes on as I hope, why—well! well! we'll see. Mind that your mother is told all when she comes home. And if our poor Mary grows worse—but I'm not afraid of that, with infirmary care and nursing—but if she does, I'll write to your mother myself, and arrange with a kind friend I have at Southport all about sending her home. And now," said he, turning suddenly to Bessy, "tell me what you were doing from home when this happened. Did not your mother leave you in charge of all at home?"

"I really don't want to approve any hiding of the truth. And yet, as you mentioned, your mother is in a very fragile condition. It could seriously hurt her if she faced any shock. Well! Let's say that for this one time, I'll take responsibility for it. If Mary continues to improve as I hope, then—well! we'll see. Keep in mind that your mother should be informed of everything when she comes home. And if our poor Mary gets worse—but I'm not worried about that, with the hospital care and nursing—but if she does, I'll personally write to your mother and coordinate with a kind friend I have in Southport about bringing her home. And now," he said, turning suddenly to Bessy, "tell me what you were doing away from home when this happened. Didn't your mother leave you in charge of everything at home?"

"Yes, sir!" said Bessy, trembling. "But, sir, I thought I could earn money to make mother a present!"

"Yes, sir!" Bessy exclaimed, shaking. "But, sir, I thought I could earn some money to get a gift for my mom!"

"Thought! fiddle-de-dee. I'll tell you what; never you neglect the work clearly laid out for you by either God or man, to go making work for yourself, according to your own fancies. God knows what you are most fit for. Do that. And then wait; if you don't see your next duty clearly. You will not long be idle in this world, if you are ready for a summons. Now let me see that you send Mary all clean and tidy to the infirmary."

"Forget it! Here’s the deal: don’t ignore the tasks assigned to you by either God or people to create busywork for yourself based on your own whims. God knows what you’re best suited for. Just do that. And then wait if you’re unsure about your next responsibility. You won’t be out of things to do for long if you’re prepared for whatever comes next. Now make sure you send Mary all cleaned up and organized to the infirmary."

Jem was holding Bessy's hand. "She has washed everything and made it fit for a queen. Our Bessy worked all night long, and was content to let me be with Mary (where she wished sore to be), because I could lift her better, being the stronger."

Jem was holding Bessy's hand. "She has cleaned everything and made it fit for a queen. Our Bessy worked all night long and was happy to let me be with Mary (where she really wanted to be) because I could lift her better, being the stronger one."

"That's right. Even when you want to be of service to others, don't think how to please yourself."

"That's right. Even when you want to help others, don’t think about how to please yourself."

I have not much more to tell you about Bessy. This sad accident of Mary's did her a great deal of good, although it cost her so much sorrow at first. It taught her several lessons, which it is good for every woman to learn, whether she is called upon, as daughter, sister, wife, or mother, to contribute to the happiness of a home. And Mary herself was hardly more thoughtful and careful to make others happy in their own way, provided that way was innocent, than was Bessy hereafter. It was a struggle between her and Mary which could be the least selfish, and do the duties nearest to them with the most faithfulness and zeal. The mother stayed at Southport her full time, and came home well and strong. Then Bessy put her arms round her mother's neck, and told her all—and far more severely against herself than either the doctor or Jem did, when they related the same story afterwards.

I don't have much more to share about Bessy. This tragic incident involving Mary ended up doing her a lot of good, even though it brought her a lot of pain at first. It taught her several lessons that are important for every woman to learn, whether she is a daughter, sister, wife, or mother, in order to help create happiness at home. And Mary herself was hardly more considerate and attentive to making others happy in their own way—provided that way was innocent—than Bessy was afterward. They both competed to see who could be the least selfish and fulfill their responsibilities with the most dedication and enthusiasm. Their mother spent her full time at Southport and returned home healthy and strong. Then Bessy wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and told her everything—much more harshly against herself than either the doctor or Jem did when they told the same story later.

 


 

 

DISAPPEARANCES.

 

I am not in the habit of seeing the Household Words regularly; but a friend, who lately sent me some of the back numbers, recommended me to read "all the papers relating to the Detective and Protective Police," which I accordingly did—not as the generality of readers have done, as they appeared week by week, or with pauses between, but consecutively, as a popular history of the Metropolitan Police; and, as I suppose it may also be considered, a history of the police force in every large town in England. When I had ended these papers, I did not feel disposed to read any others at that time, but preferred falling into a train of reverie and recollection.

I don’t usually read Household Words regularly, but a friend recently sent me some back issues and suggested I check out "all the articles related to the Detective and Protective Police." So, I did—not the way most readers do, week by week or with breaks in between, but straight through, as if it were a popular history of the Metropolitan Police. I suppose it can also be seen as a history of police forces in all major cities in England. After finishing those articles, I didn’t feel like reading anything else at that moment and instead chose to drift into some daydreaming and reflection.

First of all I remembered, with a smile, the unexpected manner in which a relation of mine was discovered by an acquaintance, who had mislaid or forgotten Mr. B.'s address. Now my dear cousin, Mr. B., charming as he is in many points, has the little peculiarity of liking to change his lodgings once every three months on an average, which occasions some bewilderment to his country friends, who have no sooner learnt the 19, Belle Vue Road, Hampstead, than they have to take pains to forget that address, and to remember the 27½, Upper Brown Street, Camberwell; and so on, till I would rather learn a page of Walker's Pronouncing Dictionary, than try to remember the variety of directions which I have had to put on my letters to Mr. B. during the last three years. Last summer it pleased him to remove to a beautiful village not ten miles out of London, where there is a railway station. Thither his friend sought him. (I do not now speak of the following scent there had been through three or four different lodgings, where Mr. B. had been residing, before his country friend ascertained that he was now lodging at R——.) He spent the morning in making inquiries as to Mr. B.'s whereabouts in the village; but many gentlemen were lodging there for the summer, and neither butcher nor baker could inform him where Mr. B. was staying; his letters were unknown at the post-office, which was accounted for by the circumstance of their always being directed to his office in town. At last the country friend sauntered back to the railway-office, and while he waited for the train he made inquiry, as a last resource, of the book-keeper at the station. "No, sir, I cannot tell you where Mr. B. lodges—so many gentlemen go by the trains; but I have no doubt but that the person standing by that pillar can inform you." The individual to whom he directed the inquirer's attention had the appearance of a tradesman—respectable enough, yet with no pretensions to "gentility," and had, apparently, no more urgent employment than lazily watching the passengers who came dropping in to the station. However, when he was spoken to, he answered civilly and promptly. "Mr. B.? tall gentleman, with light hair? Yes, sir, I know Mr. B. He lodges at No. 8, Morton Villas—has done these three weeks or more; but you'll not find him there, sir, now. He went to town by the eleven o'clock train, and does not usually return until the half-past four train."

First of all, I smiled as I remembered the unexpected way one of my relatives was found by an acquaintance, who had misplaced or forgotten Mr. B.'s address. Now, my dear cousin Mr. B., charming as he is in many ways, has this little quirk of changing his place every three months on average, which confuses his country friends. Just when they learn 19, Belle Vue Road, Hampstead, they have to work hard to forget it and remember 27½, Upper Brown Street, Camberwell; and so on, to the point where I'd rather memorize a page from Walker's Pronouncing Dictionary than try to keep track of the different addresses I’ve had to put on my letters to Mr. B. over the last three years. Last summer, he decided to move to a lovely village not ten miles outside of London, where there's a train station. That’s where his friend tried to find him. (I won’t mention the wild goose chase through three or four different places where Mr. B. had been living before his country friend discovered he was now staying at RUnderstood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize..) He spent the morning asking around the village to find out where Mr. B. was, but with so many gentlemen renting there for the summer, neither the butcher nor the baker could help him locate Mr. B.; his letters were also unknown at the post office, as they were always sent to his office in the city. Finally, the country friend wandered back to the train station, and while he waited for the train, he decided to ask the bookkeeper at the station as a last resort. "No, sir, I can't tell you where Mr. B. is staying—too many gentlemen come through on the trains; but I'm sure that person standing by that pillar can help you." The man he pointed out looked like a tradesman—respectable enough, but with no airs of "gentility," and seemed to be passively watching the passengers arriving at the station. However, when approached, he responded politely and quickly. "Mr. B.? Tall guy with light hair? Yes, sir, I know Mr. B. He’s staying at No. 8, Morton Villas—has been there for about three weeks now; but you won’t find him there right now, sir. He took the eleven o'clock train to the city and usually doesn't come back until the half-past four train."

The country friend had no time to lose in returning to the village, to ascertain the truth of this statement. He thanked his informant, and said he would call on Mr. B. at his office in town; but before he left R—— station, he asked the book-keeper who the person was to whom he had referred him for information as to his friend's place of residence. "One of the Detective Police, sir," was the answer. I need hardly say that Mr. B., not without a little surprise, confirmed the accuracy of the policeman's report in every particular.

The country friend had no time to waste in heading back to the village to find out if this information was true. He thanked his informant and mentioned he would visit Mr. B. at his office in town; but before leaving RUnderstood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize. station, he asked the bookkeeper who the person was that had given him the tip about his friend's address. "One of the Detective Police, sir," was the reply. I barely need to mention that Mr. B., a bit surprised, confirmed that the policeman's report was completely accurate.

When I heard this anecdote of my cousin and his friend, I thought that there could be no more romances written on the same kind of plot as Caleb Williams; the principal interest of which, to the superficial reader, consists in the alternation of hope and fear, that the hero may, or may not, escape his pursuer. It is long since I have read the story, and I forget the name of the offended and injured gentleman, whose privacy Caleb has invaded; but I know that his pursuit of Caleb—his detection of the various hiding-places of the latter—his following up of slight clues—all, in fact, depended upon his own energy, sagacity, and perseverance. The interest was caused by the struggle of man against man; and the uncertainty as to which would ultimately be successful in his object; the unrelenting pursuer, or the ingenious Caleb, who seeks by every device to conceal himself. Now, in 1851, the offended master would set the Detective Police to work; there would be no doubt as to their success; the only question would be as to the time that would elapse before the hiding-place could be detected, and that could not be a question long. It is no longer a struggle between man and man, but between a vast organized machinery, and a weak, solitary individual; we have no hopes, no fears—only certainty. But if the materials of pursuit and evasion, as long as the chase is confined to England, are taken away from the store-house of the romancer, at any rate we can no more be haunted by the idea of the possibility of mysterious disappearances; and any one who has associated much with those who were alive at the end of the last century, can testify that there was some reason for such fears.

When I heard this story about my cousin and his friend, I thought there couldn’t be any more romances written on the same kind of plot as Caleb Williams; the main interest, to a casual reader, lies in the back-and-forth of hope and fear over whether the hero will escape from his pursuer. It's been a while since I read the story, and I can't remember the name of the wronged gentleman whose privacy Caleb invaded; but I know that his pursuit of Caleb—his discovery of Caleb’s various hiding spots—his follow-up on little clues—all depended on his own effort, cleverness, and determination. The interest stemmed from the conflict of one man against another; and the uncertainty of who would ultimately succeed in their goal—whether the relentless pursuer or the crafty Caleb, who tries every trick to hide himself. Now, in 1851, the angry master would just call in the Detective Police; there’d be no doubt about their success; the only question would be how long it would take to find the hiding place, and that wouldn’t take long. It’s no longer a battle between two individuals, but between a massive organized system and a lone, weak person; we have no hopes or fears—only certainty. But while the means of pursuit and evasion, as long as the chase is within England, are taken away from the storyteller’s toolbox, at least we’re no longer haunted by the possibility of mysterious disappearances; and anyone who spent time with people alive at the end of the last century can confirm there were reasons to fear such things.

When I was a child, I was sometimes permitted to accompany a relation to drink tea with a very clever old lady, of one hundred and twenty—or, so I thought then; I now think she, perhaps, was only about seventy. She was lively, and intelligent, and had seen and known much that was worth narrating. She was a cousin of the Sneyds, the family whence Mr. Edgeworth took two of his wives; had known Major André; had mixed in the Old Whig Society that the beautiful Duchess of Devonshire and "Buff and Blue Mrs. Crewe" gathered round them; her father had been one of the early patrons of the lovely Miss Linley. I name these facts to show that she was too intelligent and cultivated by association, as well as by natural powers, to lend an over-easy credence to the marvellous; and yet I have heard her relate stories of disappearances which haunted my imagination longer than any tale of wonder. One of her stories was this:—Her father's estate lay in Shropshire, and his park-gates opened right on to a scattered village of which he was landlord. The houses formed a straggling irregular street—here a garden, next a gable-end of a farm, there a row of cottages, and so on. Now, at the end house or cottage lived a very respectable man and his wife. They were well known in the village, and were esteemed for the patient attention which they paid to the husband's father, a paralytic old man. In winter, his chair was near the fire; in summer, they carried him out into the open space in front of the house to bask in the sunshine, and to receive what placid amusement he could from watching the little passings to and fro of the villagers. He could not move from his bed to his chair without help. One hot and sultry June day, all the village turned out to the hay-fields. Only the very old and the very young remained.

When I was a kid, I sometimes got to go with a relative to have tea with a really sharp old lady who I thought was about one hundred and twenty; looking back, I think she was probably only around seventy. She was lively and smart and had experienced a lot worth sharing. She was related to the Sneyds, the family from which Mr. Edgeworth took two of his wives; she knew Major André and mingled in the Old Whig Society, which was gathered around by the beautiful Duchess of Devonshire and "Buff and Blue Mrs. Crewe"; her father had been one of the early supporters of the lovely Miss Linley. I mention these details to show that she was too intelligent and cultured, both through her connections and her own abilities, to easily believe in the unbelievable; yet, I heard her tell stories of disappearances that haunted my imagination longer than any fairy tale. One of her stories went like this: Her father's estate was in Shropshire, and his park gates opened directly onto a scattered village where he was the landlord. The houses created an uneven street—there was a garden here, a gable end of a farm there, a row of cottages, and so on. At the end of the street lived a respectable man and his wife. They were well-known in the village and appreciated for the attentive care they provided to the husband’s father, an elderly man who had suffered a stroke. In winter, his chair was near the fire; in summer, they would take him outside to enjoy the sunshine and watch the villagers go about their day. He needed help to move from his bed to his chair. One hot and humid June day, the entire village headed out to the hayfields. Only the very old and the very young stayed behind.

The old father of whom I have spoken was carried out to bask in the sunshine that afternoon as usual, and his son and daughter-in-law went to the hay-making. But when they came home in the early evening, their paralysed father had disappeared—was gone! and from that day forwards, nothing more was ever heard of him. The old lady, who told this story, said with the quietness that always marked the simplicity of her narration, that every inquiry which her father could make was made, and that it could never be accounted for. No one had observed any stranger in the village; no small household robbery, to which the old man might have been supposed an obstacle, had been committed in his son's dwelling that afternoon. The son and daughter-in-law (noted too for their attention to the helpless father) had been a-field among all the neighbours the whole of the time. In short, it never was accounted for; and left a painful impression on many minds.

The old father I mentioned was taken outside to enjoy the sunshine that afternoon like usual, while his son and daughter-in-law went to make hay. But when they returned home in the early evening, their paralyzed father had vanished—he was gone! From that day on, no one ever heard from him again. The old lady, who shared this story, spoke with the calmness that always characterized her simple storytelling. She said that her father had made every possible inquiry, but nothing could explain it. No one had seen any strangers in the village; there hadn’t been any small household theft that the old man might have thwarted at his son’s home that afternoon. The son and daughter-in-law—known for their care of the helpless father—had been in the fields among the neighbors the entire time. In short, it was never explained, and it left a troubling mark on many minds.

I will answer for it, the Detective Police would have ascertained every fact relating to it in a week.

I can assure you, the Detective Police would have confirmed every detail about it in a week.

This story from its mystery was painful, but had no consequences to make it tragical. The next which I shall tell (and although traditionary, these anecdotes of disappearances which I relate in this paper are correctly repeated, and were believed by my informants to be strictly true), had consequences, and melancholy ones too. The scene of it is in a little country-town, surrounded by the estates of several gentlemen of large property. About a hundred years ago there lived in this small town an attorney, with his mother and sister. He was agent for one of the squires near, and received rents for him on stated days, which of course were well known. He went at these times to a small public-house, perhaps five miles from ——, where the tenants met him, paid their rents, and were entertained at dinner afterwards. One night he did not return from this festivity. He never returned. The gentleman whose agent he was, employed the Dogberrys of the time to find him, and the missing cash; the mother, whose support and comfort he was, sought him with all the perseverance of faithful love. But he never returned; and by-and-by the rumour spread that he must have gone abroad with the money; his mother heard the whispers all around her, and could not disprove it; and so her heart broke, and she died. Years after, I think as many as fifty, the well-to-do butcher and grazier of —— died; but, before his death, he confessed that he had waylaid Mr. —— on the heath close to the town, almost within call of his own house, intending only to rob him, but meeting with more resistance than he anticipated, had been provoked to stab him; and had buried him that very night deep under the loose sand of the heath. There his skeleton was found; but too late for his poor mother to know that his fame was cleared. His sister, too, was dead, unmarried, for no one liked the possibilities which might arise from being connected with the family. None cared if he was guilty or innocent now.

This story, though mysterious, was painful but didn't have tragic consequences. The next story I'll tell (and even though it's based on tradition, these accounts of disappearances that I'm sharing here are accurately repeated and were believed by my sources to be completely true) had consequences, and they were sad ones too. The setting is a small country town, surrounded by the estates of several wealthy gentlemen. About a hundred years ago, there lived an attorney in this little town, along with his mother and sister. He was the agent for one of the local squires and collected rents for him on specific days, which were, of course, well known. During these times, he would go to a small pub, perhaps five miles from Understood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize., where the tenants would meet him, pay their rents, and enjoy dinner afterward. One night, he didn't come back from this gathering. He never returned. The gentleman for whom he was an agent hired the local authorities of the time to find him and the missing cash; his mother, who depended on him for support and comfort, searched for him with unwavering love. But he never came back; eventually, rumors spread that he must have fled with the money. His mother heard the whispers all around her and couldn't prove otherwise, so her heart broke, and she died. Years later, I think as many as fifty, the successful butcher and grazier of Sure! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize. died; but before he passed, he confessed that he had ambushed Mr. Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize. on the heath near the town, almost within earshot of his own house. He had initially only intended to rob him, but when he met more resistance than he expected, he ended up stabbing him; and he buried him that very night deep under the loose sand of the heath. There his skeleton was found, but it was too late for his poor mother to know that his name had been cleared. His sister was also dead, unmarried, since no one wanted to deal with the complications that could arise from being connected to the family. No one cared whether he was guilty or innocent now.

If our Detective Police had only been in existence!

If only our Detective Police had existed!

This last is hardly a story of unaccounted-for disappearance. It is only unaccounted for in one generation. But disappearances never to be accounted for on any supposition are not uncommon, among the traditions of the last century. I have heard (and I think I have read it in one of the earlier numbers of Chambers's Journal), of a marriage which took place in Lincolnshire about the year 1750. It was not then de rigueur that the happy couple should set out on a wedding journey; but instead, they and their friends had a merry jovial dinner at the house of either bride or groom; and in this instance the whole party adjourned to the bridegroom's residence, and dispersed, some to ramble in the garden, some to rest in the house until the dinner-hour. The bridegroom, it is to be supposed, was with his bride, when he was suddenly summoned away by a domestic, who said that a stranger wished to speak to him; and henceforward he was never seen more. The same tradition hangs about an old deserted Welsh Hall standing in a wood near Festiniog; there, too, the bridegroom was sent for to give audience to a stranger on his wedding-day, and disappeared from the face of the earth from that time; but there, they tell in addition, that the bride lived long,—that she passed her three-score years and ten, but that daily during all those years, while there was light of sun or moon to lighten the earth, she sat watching,—watching at one particular window which commanded a view of the approach to the house. Her whole faculties, her whole mental powers, became absorbed in that weary watching; long before she died, she was childish, and only conscious of one wish—to sit in that long high window, and watch the road, along which he might come. She was as faithful as Evangeline, if pensive and inglorious.

This isn't exactly a story about an unexplained disappearance. It's only unexplained for one generation. However, disappearances that are never explained, no matter the assumptions, aren’t rare among the stories of the last century. I've heard (and I think I read it in one of the earlier issues of Chambers's Journal) about a wedding that took place in Lincolnshire around 1750. Back then, it wasn’t standard for the happy couple to go on a honeymoon; instead, they and their guests would enjoy a joyful dinner at either the bride or groom’s house. In this case, the whole group moved to the groom's home and scattered—some wandered in the garden, while others rested inside until dinner. It’s assumed the groom was with his bride when he was unexpectedly called away by a servant, who said a stranger wanted to speak with him; after that, he was never seen again. A similar story is told about an old abandoned Welsh Hall in a forest near Festiniog; there too, the groom was sent to meet a stranger on his wedding day and vanished from existence from that moment on. In addition, it’s said that the bride lived for many years—over seventy—but every day, during all those years, as long as the sun or moon shone, she sat by one specific window that overlooked the road to the house, waiting. Her entire mind and spirit became consumed by that tiresome vigil. Long before she passed away, she became childlike, fixated on one wish—to sit in that tall window and watch for the road along which he might return. She was as loyal as Evangeline, though more somber and without glory.

That these two similar stories of disappearance on a wedding-day "obtained," as the French say, shows us that anything which adds to our facility of communication, and organization of means, adds to our security of life. Only let a bridegroom try to disappear from an untamed Katherine of a bride, and he will soon be brought home, like a recreant coward, overtaken by the electric telegraph, and clutched back to his fate by a detective policeman.

That these two similar stories of disappearing on a wedding day "caught on," as the French say, shows us that anything that improves our ability to communicate and organize resources enhances our life’s security. Just let a groom try to vanish from a fierce bride like Katherine, and he’ll quickly be brought back home, like a coward, caught by the electric telegraph and dragged back to his destiny by a detective cop.

Two more stories of disappearance, and I have done. I will give you the last in date first, because it is the most melancholy; and we will wind up cheerfully (after a fashion). Some time between 1820 and 1830, there lived in North Shields a respectable old woman, and her son, who was trying to struggle into sufficient knowledge of medicine, to go out as ship-surgeon in a Baltic vessel, and perhaps in this manner to earn money enough to spend a session in Edinburgh. He was furthered in all his plans by the late benevolent Dr. G——, of that town. I believe the usual premium was not required in his case; the young man did many useful errands and offices which a finer young gentleman would have considered beneath him; and he resided with his mother in one of the alleys (or "chares,") which lead down from the main street of North Shields to the river. Dr. G—— had been with a patient all night, and left her very early on a winter's morning to return home to bed; but first he stepped down to his apprentice's home, and bade him get up, and follow him to his own house, where some medicine was to be mixed, and then taken to the lady. Accordingly the poor lad came, prepared the dose, and set off with it some time between five and six on a winter's morning. He was never seen again. Dr. G—— waited, thinking he was at his mother's house; she waited, considering that he had gone to his day's work. And meanwhile, as people remembered afterwards, the small vessel bound to Edinburgh sailed out of port. The mother expected him back her whole life long; but some years afterwards occurred the discoveries of the Hare and Burke horrors, and people seemed to gain a dark glimpse at his fate; but I never heard that it was fully ascertained, or indeed more than surmised. I ought to add that all who knew him spoke emphatically as to his steadiness of purpose, and conduct, so as to render it improbable in the highest degree that he had run off to sea, or suddenly changed his plan of life in any way.

Two more stories of disappearance, and I’ll be done. I’ll give you the last one first because it’s the saddest, and we’ll wrap up on a lighter note (in a way). Some time between 1820 and 1830, there lived in North Shields a respectable old woman and her son, who was trying to acquire enough knowledge of medicine to become a ship's surgeon on a Baltic vessel, hoping to earn enough money to spend a session in Edinburgh. He was supported in all his plans by the late generous Dr. G—— of that town. I believe the usual fee wasn’t required in his case; the young man did many useful tasks that a more privileged young gentleman would have considered beneath him. He lived with his mother in one of the alleys (or “chares”) that lead down from the main street of North Shields to the river. Dr. G—— had been with a patient all night and left her very early on a winter morning to go home to bed; but first, he stopped by his apprentice's home and told him to get up and follow him to his own place, where some medicine needed to be mixed and then delivered to the lady. So, the poor lad came, prepared the dose, and set off with it sometime between five and six on a winter morning. He was never seen again. Dr. G—— waited, thinking he was at his mother's house; she waited, assuming he had gone to work for the day. Meanwhile, as people recalled later, a small vessel bound for Edinburgh sailed out of port. The mother expected him back for her entire life, but some years later, the horrors of Hare and Burke were discovered, and people seemed to get a dark hint of his fate; however, I never heard that it was fully confirmed, or even more than speculated. I should add that everyone who knew him spoke highly of his determination and character, making it extremely unlikely that he had run off to sea or suddenly changed his life plans in any way.

My last story is one of a disappearance which was accounted for after many years. There is a considerable street in Manchester leading from the centre of the town to some of the suburbs. This street is called at one part Garratt, and afterwards, where it emerges into gentility and, comparatively, country, Brook Street. It derives its former name from an old black-and-white hall of the time of Richard the Third, or thereabouts, to judge from the style of building; they have closed in what is left of the old hall now; but a few years since this old house was visible from the main road; it stood low on some vacant ground, and appeared to be half in ruins. I believe it was occupied by several poor families who rented tenements in the tumble-down dwelling. But formerly it was Gerard Hall, (what a difference between Gerard and Garratt!) and was surrounded by a park with a clear brook running through it, with pleasant fish-ponds, (the name of these was preserved until very lately, on a street near,) orchards, dovecotes, and similar appurtenances to the manor-houses of former days. I am almost sure that the family to whom it belonged were Mosleys, probably a branch of the tree of the lord of the Manor of Manchester. Any topographical work of the last century relating to their district would give the name of the last proprietor of the old stock, and it is to him that my story refers.

My last story is about a disappearance that was explained many years later. There’s a major street in Manchester that goes from the center of town to some of the suburbs. This street is called Garratt at one point and then changes to Brook Street as it leads into a nicer area and, relatively speaking, the countryside. It gets its first name from an old black-and-white hall from the time of Richard the Third or so, judging by the architectural style; they’ve enclosed what’s left of the old hall now, but a few years ago, it was visible from the main road. It was situated low on some vacant land and looked to be partially in ruins. I believe it was home to several poor families renting apartments in the dilapidated building. But it used to be Gerard Hall (what a difference between Gerard and Garratt!) and was surrounded by a park with a clear brook running through it, along with nice fish-ponds (the name of which was kept until very recently on a nearby street), orchards, dovecotes, and similar features typical of manor houses from earlier times. I’m pretty sure the family that owned it was the Mosleys, probably a branch of the family of the lord of the Manor of Manchester. Any topographical work from the last century related to their area would mention the name of the last owner of the old estate, and that’s who my story is about.

Many years ago there lived in Manchester two old maiden ladies, of high respectability. All their lives had been spent in the town, and they were fond of relating the changes which had taken place within their recollection, which extended back to seventy or eighty years from the present time. They knew much of its traditionary history from their father, as well; who, with his father before him, had been respectable attorneys in Manchester, during the greater part of the last century: they were, also, agents for several of the county families, who, driven from their old possessions by the enlargement of the town, found some compensation in the increased value of any land which they might choose to sell. Consequently the Messrs. S——, father and son, were conveyancers in good repute, and acquainted with several secret pieces of family history, one of which related to Garratt Hall.

Many years ago, there were two respectable old maidens living in Manchester. They had spent their entire lives in the town and loved telling stories about the changes they had witnessed over the last seventy or eighty years. They also learned a lot of its historical traditions from their father, who, along with his own father before him, had been reputable attorneys in Manchester for most of the last century. They served as agents for several county families who, having been pushed out of their ancestral homes due to the town's expansion, found some consolation in the increased value of any land they chose to sell. As a result, the Messrs. SUnderstood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize., father and son, were well-regarded conveyancers and were familiar with some hidden family histories, one of which involved Garratt Hall.

The owner of this estate, some time in the first half of the last century, married young; he and his wife had several children, and lived together in a quiet state of happiness for many years. At last, business of some kind took the husband up to London; a week's journey in those days. He wrote and announced his arrival; I do not think he ever wrote again. He seemed to be swallowed up in the abyss of the metropolis, for no friend (and the lady had many and powerful friends) could ever ascertain for her what had become of him; the prevalent idea was that he had been attacked by some of the street-robbers who prowled about in those days, that he had resisted, and had been murdered. His wife gradually gave up all hopes of seeing him again, and devoted herself to the care of her children; and so they went on, tranquilly enough, until the heir came of age, when certain deeds were necessary before he could legally take possession of the property. These deeds Mr. S—— (the family lawyer) stated had been given up by him into the missing gentleman's keeping just before the last mysterious journey to London, with which I think they were in some way concerned. It was possible that they were still in existence; some one in London might have them in possession, and be either conscious or unconscious of their importance. At any rate, Mr. S——'s advice to his client was that he should put an advertisement in the London papers, worded so skilfully that any one who might hold the important documents should understand to what it referred, and no one else. This was accordingly done; and although repeated at intervals for some time, it met with no success. But at last a mysterious answer was sent; to the effect that the deeds were in existence, and should be given up; but only on certain conditions, and to the heir himself. The young man, in consequence, went up to London, and adjourned, according to directions, to an old house in Barbican, where he was told by a man, apparently awaiting him, that he must submit to be blindfolded, and must follow his guidance. He was taken through several long passages before he left the house; at the termination of one of these he was put into a sedan-chair, and carried about for an hour or more; he always reported that there were many turnings, and that he imagined he was set down finally not very far from his starting point.

The owner of this estate, sometime in the first half of the last century, got married young; he and his wife had several kids and lived together in a calm state of happiness for many years. Eventually, business pulled the husband to London, a week-long journey back then. He wrote to announce his arrival; I don’t think he ever wrote again. He seemed to vanish into the vast city, as no friend (and the lady had many powerful connections) could figure out what happened to him. The common belief was that he had been targeted by street robbers who lurked around back then, that he had fought back, and had been killed. His wife slowly lost hope of ever seeing him again and dedicated herself to caring for their children; they continued on peacefully until the heir came of age, when certain documents were needed before he could legally take over the property. These documents, Mr. SUnderstood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize. (the family lawyer) claimed, had been handed over to the missing man just before his last mysterious trip to London, which I think was related in some way. It was possible that they still existed; someone in London might have them and be either aware or unaware of their significance. In any case, Mr. SUnderstood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.'s advice to his client was to place an ad in the London newspapers, worded cleverly enough that anyone holding the important documents would know what it meant, while others wouldn't get it. This was done, and although it was repeated several times, it didn’t yield any results. But eventually, a mysterious response came back, saying that the documents were indeed in existence and would be returned, but only under certain conditions and to the heir himself. As a result, the young man went to London and followed instructions to an old house in Barbican, where a man, apparently waiting for him, told him he had to be blindfolded and follow his lead. He was taken through several long hallways before exiting the house; at the end of one of these, he was placed into a sedan chair and carried around for an hour or more. He always reported that there were many turns, and he thought he was dropped off not far from where he started.

When his eyes were unbandaged, he was in a decent sitting-room, with tokens of family occupation lying about. A middle-aged gentleman entered, and told him that, until a certain time had elapsed (which should be indicated to him in a particular way, but of which the length was not then named), he must swear to secrecy as to the means by which he obtained possession of the deeds. This oath was taken; and then the gentleman, not without some emotion, acknowledged himself to be the missing father of the heir. It seems that he had fallen in love with a damsel, a friend of the person with whom he lodged. To this young woman he had represented himself as unmarried; she listened willingly to his wooing, and her father, who was a shopkeeper in the City, was not averse to the match, as the Lancashire squire had a goodly presence, and many similar qualities, which the shopkeeper thought might be acceptable to his customers. The bargain was struck; the descendant of a knightly race married the only daughter of the City shopkeeper, and became a junior partner in the business. He told his son that he had never repented the step he had taken; that his lowly-born wife was sweet, docile, and affectionate; that his family by her was large; and that he and they were thriving and happy. He inquired after his first (or rather, I should say, his true) wife with friendly affection; approved of what she had done with regard to his estate, and the education of his children; but said that he considered he was dead to her, as she was to him. When he really died he promised that a particular message, the nature of which he specified, should be sent to his son at Garrett; until then they would not hear more of each other; for it was of no use attempting to trace him under his incognito, even if the oath did not render such an attempt forbidden. I dare say the youth had no great desire to trace out the father, who had been one in name only. He returned to Lancashire; took possession of the property at Manchester; and many years elapsed before he received the mysterious intimation of his father's real death. After that, he named the particulars connected with the recovery of the title-deeds to Mr. S., and one or two intimate friends. When the family became extinct, or removed from Garratt, it became no longer any very closely kept secret, and I was told the tale of the disappearance by Miss S., the aged daughter of the family agent.

When his eyes were uncovered, he found himself in a nice sitting room, filled with signs of family life. A middle-aged man walked in and told him that, until a certain time had passed (which would be signaled to him in a specific way, but the duration wasn’t mentioned at that moment), he had to swear to keep secret how he came into possession of the deeds. He took the oath, and then the man, showing some emotion, revealed that he was the long-lost father of the heir. It turned out he had fallen in love with a young woman, a friend of the person he was living with. He had told her he was single; she was happy to accept his advances, and her father, a shopkeeper in the city, was open to the match since the Lancashire gentleman had a good appearance and many qualities that the shopkeeper thought would appeal to his customers. The deal was made; the descendant of a noble lineage married the only daughter of the city shopkeeper and became a junior partner in the business. He told his son that he had never regretted his choice; that his wife, who came from a humble background, was sweet, gentle, and loving; that their family was large; and that they were all doing well and happy. He asked about his first (or rather, true) wife with kind feelings; approved of what she had done regarding his estate and the education of their children; but said he felt dead to her, just as she was to him. He promised that when he actually died, a specific message, which he explained, would be sent to his son at Garrett; until then, they wouldn't hear from each other again; for there was no point in trying to track him down under his alias, even if the oath didn’t make such a search forbidden. I think the young man wasn't very keen to find the father, who had only ever been a name to him. He went back to Lancashire, took over the property in Manchester, and many years passed before he got the mysterious notice of his father's real death. After that, he shared the details about recovering the title deeds with Mr. S. and a few close friends. Once the family died out or moved from Garrett, it became less of a closely guarded secret, and I learned the story of the disappearance from Miss S., the elderly daughter of the family agent.

Once more, let me say I am thankful I live in the days of the Detective Police; if I am murdered, or commit bigamy, at any rate my friends will have the comfort of knowing all about it.

Once again, let me express how grateful I am to live in the time of the Detective Police; if I'm murdered or commit bigamy, at least my friends will find comfort in knowing all the details.

A correspondent has favoured us with the sequel of the disappearance of the pupil of Dr. G., who vanished from North Shields, in charge of certain potions he was entrusted with, very early one morning, to convey to a patient:—"Dr. G.'s son married my sister, and the young man who disappeared was a pupil in the house. When he went out with the medicine, he was hardly dressed, having merely thrown on some clothes; and he went in slippers—which incidents induced the belief that he was made away with. After some months his family put on mourning; and the G.'s (very timid people) were so sure that he was murdered, that they wrote verses to his memory, and became sadly worn by terror. But, after a long time (I fancy, but am not sure, about a year and a half), came a letter from the young man, who was doing well in America. His explanation was, that a vessel was lying at the wharf about to sail in the morning, and the youth, who had long meditated evasion, thought it a good opportunity, and stepped on board, after leaving the medicine at the proper door. I spent some weeks at Dr. G.'s after the occurrence; and very doleful we used to be about it. But the next time I went they were, naturally, very angry with the inconsiderate young man."

A correspondent has shared the follow-up on the disappearance of Dr. G.'s pupil, who vanished from North Shields while taking some potions early one morning to deliver to a patient:—"Dr. G.'s son married my sister, and the young man who went missing was a student living in the house. When he left with the medicine, he was barely dressed, having just thrown on some clothes; he even wore slippers—these details led to the belief that something terrible had happened to him. After a few months, his family went into mourning; and the G.'s (very timid people) were so convinced he was murdered that they wrote poems in his memory and became noticeably anxious. But after quite some time (I think, but can't be sure, about a year and a half), a letter arrived from the young man, who was doing well in America. He explained that a ship was docked at the wharf, set to sail in the morning, and the youth, having long contemplated escape, saw it as a great opportunity and boarded the ship after leaving the medicine at the right door. I spent a few weeks at Dr. G.'s after this incident, and we were all very down about it. But the next time I visited, they were understandably quite upset with the thoughtless young man."

London: Printed by Smith, Elder & Co., 15½, Old Bailey, E.C.

 

 

FOOTNOTES

1.

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__.

Wir pflügen und wir streuen
Den Saamen auf das Land;
Das Wachsen und Gedeihen
Steht in des höchsten Hand.
Er sendet Thau und Regen,
Und Sonn und Mondeschein;
Von Ihm kommt aller Segen,
Von unserm Gott allein:
Alle gute Gabe kommt her
Von Gott dem Herrn,
Drum dankt und hofft auf Ihn.

Wir pflügen und wir streuen
Die Samen auf das Land;
Das Wachsen und Gedeihen
Liegt in der Hand des Höchsten.
Er sendet Tau und Regen,
Und Sonne und Mondschein;
Von Ihm kommt jeder Segen,
Von unserem Gott allein:
Jede gute Gabe kommt her
Von Gott, dem Herrn,
Darum dankt und hofft auf Ihn.


 

TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE

Contemporary spellings have been retained even when inconsistent. A small number of obvious typographical errors have been corrected, and missing punctuation has been silently added.

The following additional changes have been made; they can be identified in the body of the text by a grey dotted underline:

Contemporary spellings have been kept even when they’re inconsistent. A few obvious typos have been fixed, and missing punctuation has been quietly added.

The following additional changes have been made; you can spot them in the body of the text by a grey dotted underline:

re-inter the inn re-enter the inn
borne at Altenahr born at Altenahr
hofft auf Ihm hofft auf Ihn
Libbie fell very shy Libbie felt very shy
shut the door in Mr. Jenkins's face shut the door in Mrs. Jenkins's face
his eyes was open his eyes were open
count-out and throwing down her money counting out and throwing down her money
altered breathings altered breathing



        
        
    
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