This is a modern-English version of The Wind in the Willows, originally written by Grahame, Kenneth.
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and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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![[Illustration]](images/cover.jpg)
The Wind in the Willows
by Kenneth Grahame
Author Of “The Golden Age,” “Dream Days,” Etc.
Contents
I.
THE RIVER BANK
The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home. First with brooms, then with dusters; then on ladders and steps and chairs, with a brush and a pail of whitewash; till he had dust in his throat and eyes, and splashes of whitewash all over his black fur, and an aching back and weary arms. Spring was moving in the air above and in the earth below and around him, penetrating even his dark and lowly little house with its spirit of divine discontent and longing. It was small wonder, then, that he suddenly flung down his brush on the floor, said “Bother!” and “O blow!” and also “Hang spring-cleaning!” and bolted out of the house without even waiting to put on his coat. Something up above was calling him imperiously, and he made for the steep little tunnel which answered in his case to the gravelled carriage-drive owned by animals whose residences are nearer to the sun and air. So he scraped and scratched and scrabbled and scrooged and then he scrooged again and scrabbled and scratched and scraped, working busily with his little paws and muttering to himself, “Up we go! Up we go!” till at last, pop! his snout came out into the sunlight, and he found himself rolling in the warm grass of a great meadow.
The Mole had been working really hard all morning, spring-cleaning his small home. First, he used brooms, then dusters; then he climbed ladders, steps, and chairs, armed with a brush and a bucket of whitewash; until he had dust in his throat and eyes, splashes of whitewash all over his black fur, an aching back, and tired arms. Spring was in the air above and in the earth below and around him, even filling his dark and humble little house with a sense of divine discontent and yearning. So it was no surprise that he suddenly threw his brush down on the floor, exclaimed “Bother!” and “Oh dear!” and also “Forget spring-cleaning!” and bolted out of the house without even bothering to put on his coat. Something above was calling to him urgently, and he headed for the steep little tunnel that led to the gravel driveway of animals living closer to the sun and air. He scraped, scratched, scrambled, scrooged, and then scrooged again and kept on scrabbling and scratching and scraping, working busily with his little paws while muttering to himself, “Up we go! Up we go!” until, at last, pop! his snout emerged into the sunlight, and he found himself rolling in the warm grass of a vast meadow.
“This is fine!” he said to himself. “This is better than whitewashing!” The sunshine struck hot on his fur, soft breezes caressed his heated brow, and after the seclusion of the cellarage he had lived in so long the carol of happy birds fell on his dulled hearing almost like a shout. Jumping off all his four legs at once, in the joy of living and the delight of spring without its cleaning, he pursued his way across the meadow till he reached the hedge on the further side.
“This is great!” he said to himself. “This is better than painting!” The sun beat down on his fur, gentle breezes brushed against his warm brow, and after being cooped up in the cellar for so long, the cheerful song of the birds sounded almost like a shout to his tired ears. Leaping up on all fours in the joy of living and the excitement of spring without any chores, he bounded across the meadow until he reached the hedge on the other side.
“Hold up!” said an elderly rabbit at the gap. “Sixpence for the privilege of passing by the private road!” He was bowled over in an instant by the impatient and contemptuous Mole, who trotted along the side of the hedge chaffing the other rabbits as they peeped hurriedly from their holes to see what the row was about. “Onion-sauce! Onion-sauce!” he remarked jeeringly, and was gone before they could think of a thoroughly satisfactory reply. Then they all started grumbling at each other. “How stupid you are! Why didn’t you tell him——” “Well, why didn’t you say——” “You might have reminded him——” and so on, in the usual way; but, of course, it was then much too late, as is always the case.
“Wait a minute!” said an old rabbit at the gap. “Sixpence to walk on this private road!” He was quickly knocked over by the impatient and scornful Mole, who was trotting along the hedge, teasing the other rabbits as they peeked out of their holes to see what the commotion was about. “Onion-sauce! Onion-sauce!” he said mockingly, and was gone before they could come up with a good comeback. Then they all started complaining to each other. “How dumb you are! Why didn’t you tell him——” “Well, why didn’t you say——” “You could have reminded him——” and so on, as usual; but, of course, it was already way too late, as it always is.
It all seemed too good to be true. Hither and thither through the meadows he rambled busily, along the hedgerows, across the copses, finding everywhere birds building, flowers budding, leaves thrusting—everything happy, and progressive, and occupied. And instead of having an uneasy conscience pricking him and whispering “whitewash!” he somehow could only feel how jolly it was to be the only idle dog among all these busy citizens. After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be resting yourself, as to see all the other fellows busy working.
It all seemed too good to be true. He wandered around the meadows, through the hedgerows, and across the woods, noticing everywhere birds building nests, flowers blooming, and leaves coming out—everything was happy, productive, and lively. Instead of feeling guilty or having a nagging voice telling him to get to work, he could only enjoy being the one lazy guy among all these hard-working people. After all, the best part of a holiday might not just be relaxing yourself, but seeing everyone else busy with their tasks.
He thought his happiness was complete when, as he meandered aimlessly along, suddenly he stood by the edge of a full-fed river. Never in his life had he seen a river before—this sleek, sinuous, full-bodied animal, chasing and chuckling, gripping things with a gurgle and leaving them with a laugh, to fling itself on fresh playmates that shook themselves free, and were caught and held again. All was a-shake and a-shiver—glints and gleams and sparkles, rustle and swirl, chatter and bubble. The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
He thought his happiness was complete when, as he wandered aimlessly, he suddenly found himself by the edge of a full river. He had never seen a river before—this smooth, winding, full-bodied creature, racing and laughing, grabbing things with a gurgle and letting them go with a chuckle, only to rush at new playmates that shook themselves free, then got caught and held again. Everything was shaking and shimmering—flashes and sparkles, rustling and swirling, chattering and bubbling. The Mole was spellbound, captivated, fascinated. By the river, he trotted along like a small child beside a man who holds their attention with exciting stories; and when he finally grew tired, he sat on the bank while the river continued to babble to him, a flowing stream of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be shared at last with the ever-hungry sea.
As he sat on the grass and looked across the river, a dark hole in the bank opposite, just above the water’s edge, caught his eye, and dreamily he fell to considering what a nice snug dwelling-place it would make for an animal with few wants and fond of a bijou riverside residence, above flood level and remote from noise and dust. As he gazed, something bright and small seemed to twinkle down in the heart of it, vanished, then twinkled once more like a tiny star. But it could hardly be a star in such an unlikely situation; and it was too glittering and small for a glow-worm. Then, as he looked, it winked at him, and so declared itself to be an eye; and a small face began gradually to grow up round it, like a frame round a picture.
As he sat on the grass and looked across the river, a dark hole in the opposite bank, right above the water's edge, caught his attention. Dreamily, he started to think about what a cozy little home it would be for an animal with simple needs that enjoys a charming riverside spot, safe from flooding and away from noise and dust. As he watched, something small and bright seemed to sparkle at the center of it, disappeared, and then sparkled again like a tiny star. But it could hardly be a star in such an odd place; it was too bright and small for a glow-worm. Then, as he stared, it winked at him, revealing itself to be an eye; and a little face slowly began to appear around it, like a frame around a picture.
A brown little face, with whiskers.
A small brown face with whiskers.
A grave round face, with the same twinkle in its eye that had first attracted his notice.
A serious round face, with the same sparkle in its eye that had first grabbed his attention.
Small neat ears and thick silky hair.
Small, tidy ears and thick, smooth hair.
It was the Water Rat!
It was the Water Rat!
Then the two animals stood and regarded each other cautiously.
Then the two animals stood and looked at each other carefully.
“Hullo, Mole!” said the Water Rat.
“Hey, Mole!” said the Water Rat.
“Hullo, Rat!” said the Mole.
“Hey, Rat!” said the Mole.
“Would you like to come over?” enquired the Rat presently.
“Do you want to come over?” the Rat asked after a moment.
“Oh, its all very well to talk,” said the Mole, rather pettishly, he being new to a river and riverside life and its ways.
“Oh, it’s all very well to talk,” said the Mole, a bit annoyed, since he was new to river and riverside life and its ways.
The Rat said nothing, but stooped and unfastened a rope and hauled on it; then lightly stepped into a little boat which the Mole had not observed. It was painted blue outside and white within, and was just the size for two animals; and the Mole’s whole heart went out to it at once, even though he did not yet fully understand its uses.
The Rat didn’t say anything but bent down, unfastened a rope, and pulled on it. Then he easily stepped into a small boat that the Mole hadn’t noticed. It was painted blue on the outside and white on the inside, and it was perfectly sized for two animals. The Mole instantly loved it, even though he didn’t fully grasp what it was for yet.
The Rat sculled smartly across and made fast. Then he held up his forepaw as the Mole stepped gingerly down. “Lean on that!” he said. “Now then, step lively!” and the Mole to his surprise and rapture found himself actually seated in the stern of a real boat.
The Rat smoothly paddled across and secured the boat. Then he raised his front paw as the Mole cautiously climbed down. “Lean on that!” he said. “Now, step lively!” To the Mole's surprise and delight, he found himself actually sitting in the back of a real boat.
“This has been a wonderful day!” said he, as the Rat shoved off and took to the sculls again. “Do you know, I’ve never been in a boat before in all my life.”
“This has been an amazing day!” he said as the Rat pushed off and started rowing again. “You know, I’ve never been in a boat before in my entire life.”
“What?” cried the Rat, open-mouthed: “Never been in a—you never—well I—what have you been doing, then?”
“What?” shouted the Rat, mouth wide open. “You’ve never been in a—you never—well I—what have you been doing, then?”
“Is it so nice as all that?” asked the Mole shyly, though he was quite prepared to believe it as he leant back in his seat and surveyed the cushions, the oars, the rowlocks, and all the fascinating fittings, and felt the boat sway lightly under him.
“Is it really that nice?” asked the Mole shyly, though he was ready to believe it as he leaned back in his seat and looked over the cushions, the oars, the rowlocks, and all the interesting features, feeling the boat gently sway beneath him.
“Nice? It’s the only thing,” said the Water Rat solemnly, as he leant forward for his stroke. “Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing—absolute nothing—half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats. Simply messing,” he went on dreamily: “messing—about—in—boats; messing——”
“Nice? It’s the only thing,” said the Water Rat seriously, as he leaned forward for his stroke. “Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing—absolutely nothing—half as worthwhile as just messing around in boats. Just messing,” he continued dreamily: “messing—around—in—boats; messing——”
“Look ahead, Rat!” cried the Mole suddenly.
“Look ahead, Rat!” the Mole suddenly shouted.
It was too late. The boat struck the bank full tilt. The dreamer, the joyous oarsman, lay on his back at the bottom of the boat, his heels in the air.
It was too late. The boat hit the bank hard. The dreamer, the happy oarsman, lay on his back at the bottom of the boat, his heels in the air.
“—about in boats—or with boats,” the Rat went on composedly, picking himself up with a pleasant laugh. “In or out of ’em, it doesn’t matter. Nothing seems really to matter, that’s the charm of it. Whether you get away, or whether you don’t; whether you arrive at your destination or whether you reach somewhere else, or whether you never get anywhere at all, you’re always busy, and you never do anything in particular; and when you’ve done it there’s always something else to do, and you can do it if you like, but you’d much better not. Look here! If you’ve really nothing else on hand this morning, supposing we drop down the river together, and have a long day of it?”
“—about in boats—or with boats,” the Rat continued calmly, picking himself up with a cheerful laugh. “In or out of them, it doesn’t really matter. Nothing seems to matter much, and that’s the beauty of it. Whether you get away or not; whether you reach your destination or end up somewhere else, or even if you don’t go anywhere at all, you’re always busy, yet you never actually do anything specific; and once you’ve done it, there’s always more to do, and you can do it if you want, but honestly, you’d be better off not. How about this? If you don’t have anything else going on this morning, why don’t we float down the river together and enjoy a long day of it?”
The Mole waggled his toes from sheer happiness, spread his chest with a sigh of full contentment, and leaned back blissfully into the soft cushions. “What a day I’m having!” he said. “Let us start at once!”
The Mole wiggled his toes with pure joy, took a deep breath of total satisfaction, and leaned back happily into the soft cushions. “What a day I’m having!” he said. “Let’s get started right away!”
“Hold hard a minute, then!” said the Rat. He looped the painter through a ring in his landing-stage, climbed up into his hole above, and after a short interval reappeared staggering under a fat, wicker luncheon-basket.
“Hold on a minute!” said the Rat. He looped the rope through a ring on his dock, climbed up into his hole above, and after a brief moment, he came back out, struggling with a heavy wicker picnic basket.
“Shove that under your feet,” he observed to the Mole, as he passed it down into the boat. Then he untied the painter and took the sculls again.
“Shove that under your feet,” he said to the Mole, as he handed it down into the boat. Then he untied the rope and took the oars again.
“What’s inside it?” asked the Mole, wriggling with curiosity.
“What’s in it?” asked the Mole, squirming with curiosity.
“There’s cold chicken inside it,” replied the Rat briefly; “ coldtonguecoldhamcoldbeefpickledgherkinssaladfrenchrollscresssandwichespottedme atgingerbeerlemonadesodawater——”
“There's cold chicken inside it," replied the Rat briefly; "cooked tongue, cold ham, cold beef, pickled gherkins, salad, French rolls, cress sandwiches, spotted meat, ginger beer, lemonade, soda water——”
“O stop, stop,” cried the Mole in ecstacies: “This is too much!”
“O stop, stop,” cried the Mole in ecstasy: “This is too much!”
“Do you really think so?” enquired the Rat seriously. “It’s only what I always take on these little excursions; and the other animals are always telling me that I’m a mean beast and cut it very fine!”
“Do you really think that?” asked the Rat seriously. “It’s just what I always bring on these little trips; and the other animals are always saying that I’m stingy and really pushing it!”
The Mole never heard a word he was saying. Absorbed in the new life he was entering upon, intoxicated with the sparkle, the ripple, the scents and the sounds and the sunlight, he trailed a paw in the water and dreamed long waking dreams. The Water Rat, like the good little fellow he was, sculled steadily on and forebore to disturb him.
The Mole didn’t hear anything he was saying. Caught up in the new life he was stepping into, overwhelmed by the sparkle, the ripple, the scents, the sounds, and the sunlight, he dragged a paw in the water and indulged in long, waking dreams. The Water Rat, being the thoughtful guy he was, paddled steadily along and didn’t want to interrupt him.
“I like your clothes awfully, old chap,” he remarked after some half an hour or so had passed. “I’m going to get a black velvet smoking-suit myself some day, as soon as I can afford it.”
“I really like your clothes, man,” he said after about half an hour had gone by. “I’m going to get a black velvet smoking suit for myself someday, as soon as I can afford it.”
“I beg your pardon,” said the Mole, pulling himself together with an effort. “You must think me very rude; but all this is so new to me. So—this—is—a—River!”
“I’m so sorry,” said the Mole, gathering himself with some effort. “You must think I’m really rude; but all of this is so new to me. So—this—is—a—River!”
“The River,” corrected the Rat.
“The River,” corrected the Rat.
“And you really live by the river? What a jolly life!”
“And you actually live by the river? That sounds like such a fun life!”
“By it and with it and on it and in it,” said the Rat. “It’s brother and sister to me, and aunts, and company, and food and drink, and (naturally) washing. It’s my world, and I don’t want any other. What it hasn’t got is not worth having, and what it doesn’t know is not worth knowing. Lord! the times we’ve had together! Whether in winter or summer, spring or autumn, it’s always got its fun and its excitements. When the floods are on in February, and my cellars and basement are brimming with drink that’s no good to me, and the brown water runs by my best bedroom window; or again when it all drops away and, shows patches of mud that smells like plum-cake, and the rushes and weed clog the channels, and I can potter about dry shod over most of the bed of it and find fresh food to eat, and things careless people have dropped out of boats!”
“By it, with it, on it, and in it,” said the Rat. “It’s my brother and sister, my aunts, my company, my food and drink, and (of course) my washing. It’s my whole world, and I don’t want any other. Whatever it doesn’t have isn’t worth having, and whatever it doesn’t know isn’t worth knowing. Wow! The times we’ve had together! Whether it’s winter or summer, spring or autumn, there’s always fun and excitement. When the floods come in February, and my cellars and basement are full of drink I can’t use, and the brown water runs by my best bedroom window; or when it all recedes and reveals patches of mud that smell like plum cake, and the rushes and weeds block the channels, I can wander around with dry feet over most of it and find fresh food to eat, and things careless people have dropped from their boats!”
“But isn’t it a bit dull at times?” the Mole ventured to ask. “Just you and the river, and no one else to pass a word with?”
“But isn’t it a little boring sometimes?” the Mole dared to ask. “Just you and the river, with no one else to chat with?”
“No one else to—well, I mustn’t be hard on you,” said the Rat with forbearance. “You’re new to it, and of course you don’t know. The bank is so crowded nowadays that many people are moving away altogether: O no, it isn’t what it used to be, at all. Otters, kingfishers, dabchicks, moorhens, all of them about all day long and always wanting you to do something—as if a fellow had no business of his own to attend to!”
“No one else to—well, I shouldn’t be too hard on you,” said the Rat patiently. “You’re new to this, so of course you don’t know. The bank is so busy these days that many people are leaving altogether: Oh no, it’s nothing like it used to be. Otters, kingfishers, dabchicks, moorhens— they’re all around all day long, always expecting you to do something—as if a person had no other business to take care of!”
“What lies over there?” asked the Mole, waving a paw towards a background of woodland that darkly framed the water-meadows on one side of the river.
“What’s over there?” asked the Mole, waving a paw towards the wooded area that cast a shadow over the water-meadows on one side of the river.
“That? O, that’s just the Wild Wood,” said the Rat shortly. “We don’t go there very much, we river-bankers.”
"That? Oh, that's just the Wild Wood," said the Rat briefly. "We don't go there much, we riverbank folks."
“Aren’t they—aren’t they very nice people in there?” said the Mole, a trifle nervously.
“Aren’t they—aren’t they really nice people in there?” said the Mole, a bit nervously.
“W-e-ll,” replied the Rat, “let me see. The squirrels are all right. And the rabbits—some of ’em, but rabbits are a mixed lot. And then there’s Badger, of course. He lives right in the heart of it; wouldn’t live anywhere else, either, if you paid him to do it. Dear old Badger! Nobody interferes with him. They’d better not,” he added significantly.
"Well," replied the Rat, "let me think. The squirrels are good. And the rabbits—some of them, but rabbits can be unpredictable. And then there's Badger, of course. He lives right in the middle of it; he wouldn’t want to live anywhere else, even if someone paid him to do it. Dear old Badger! Nobody messes with him. They’d better not," he added meaningfully.
“Why, who should interfere with him?” asked the Mole.
“Why, who should mess with him?” asked the Mole.
“Well, of course—there—are others,” explained the Rat in a hesitating sort of way.
"Well, of course—there—are others," the Rat said, a bit hesitantly.
“Weasels—and stoats—and foxes—and so on. They’re all right in a way—I’m very good friends with them—pass the time of day when we meet, and all that—but they break out sometimes, there’s no denying it, and then—well, you can’t really trust them, and that’s the fact.”
“Weasels, stoats, foxes, and so on. They’re fine in a way—I’m good friends with them—we chat when we meet and all that—but they do break out sometimes, there’s no denying it, and then—well, you can’t really trust them, and that’s the truth.”
The Mole knew well that it is quite against animal-etiquette to dwell on possible trouble ahead, or even to allude to it; so he dropped the subject.
The Mole understood that it's really not good manners for animals to focus on potential problems or even hint at them, so he changed the topic.
“And beyond the Wild Wood again?” he asked: “Where it’s all blue and dim, and one sees what may be hills or perhaps they mayn’t, and something like the smoke of towns, or is it only cloud-drift?”
“And beyond the Wild Wood again?” he asked. “Where it’s all blue and hazy, and you can see what might be hills or maybe not, and something that looks like the smoke of towns, or is it just clouds drifting?”
“Beyond the Wild Wood comes the Wide World,” said the Rat. “And that’s something that doesn’t matter, either to you or me. I’ve never been there, and I’m never going, nor you either, if you’ve got any sense at all. Don’t ever refer to it again, please. Now then! Here’s our backwater at last, where we’re going to lunch.”
“Beyond the Wild Wood lies the Wide World,” said the Rat. “And that’s not important to either of us. I’ve never been there, and I’m not going, nor should you if you have any common sense. Please don’t mention it again. Anyway! Here’s our quiet spot at last, where we’re going to have lunch.”
Leaving the main stream, they now passed into what seemed at first sight like a little land-locked lake. Green turf sloped down to either edge, brown snaky tree-roots gleamed below the surface of the quiet water, while ahead of them the silvery shoulder and foamy tumble of a weir, arm-in-arm with a restless dripping mill-wheel, that held up in its turn a grey-gabled mill-house, filled the air with a soothing murmur of sound, dull and smothery, yet with little clear voices speaking up cheerfully out of it at intervals. It was so very beautiful that the Mole could only hold up both forepaws and gasp, “O my! O my! O my!”
Leaving the main stream, they now entered what looked like a small, secluded lake. Green grass sloped down to either side, and brown, snake-like tree roots shimmered just beneath the surface of the calm water. Ahead of them was the silvery curve and frothy cascade of a weir, accompanied by a restless, dripping mill wheel, which in turn supported a gray-gabled mill house. The air was filled with a soothing murmur of sound, soft and muffled, yet with cheerful little voices popping up intermittently. It was so incredibly beautiful that the Mole could only raise both front paws and gasp, “Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!”
The Rat brought the boat alongside the bank, made her fast, helped the still awkward Mole safely ashore, and swung out the luncheon-basket. The Mole begged as a favour to be allowed to unpack it all by himself; and the Rat was very pleased to indulge him, and to sprawl at full length on the grass and rest, while his excited friend shook out the table-cloth and spread it, took out all the mysterious packets one by one and arranged their contents in due order, still gasping, “O my! O my!” at each fresh revelation. When all was ready, the Rat said, “Now, pitch in, old fellow!” and the Mole was indeed very glad to obey, for he had started his spring-cleaning at a very early hour that morning, as people will do, and had not paused for bite or sup; and he had been through a very great deal since that distant time which now seemed so many days ago.
The Rat brought the boat up to the shore, secured it, helped the still-clumsy Mole safely onto land, and pulled out the lunch basket. The Mole asked if he could unpack it all by himself as a favor, and the Rat happily agreed, stretching out on the grass to relax while his excited friend shook out the tablecloth and laid it out, took out all the mysterious packages one by one, and arranged everything in order, still gasping, “Oh my! Oh my!” at each new surprise. When everything was ready, the Rat said, “Now, dig in, buddy!” and the Mole was really glad to comply because he had started his spring cleaning very early that morning, as people often do, and hadn’t stopped for a meal; he had been through a lot since that time which now felt like ages ago.
“What are you looking at?” said the Rat presently, when the edge of their hunger was somewhat dulled, and the Mole’s eyes were able to wander off the table-cloth a little.
“What are you looking at?” said the Rat after a while, when their hunger had eased a bit, and the Mole's eyes could drift away from the tablecloth a little.
“I am looking,” said the Mole, “at a streak of bubbles that I see travelling along the surface of the water. That is a thing that strikes me as funny.”
“I’m watching,” said the Mole, “a line of bubbles moving along the surface of the water. I find that pretty amusing.”
“Bubbles? Oho!” said the Rat, and chirruped cheerily in an inviting sort of way.
“Bubbles? Oh wow!” said the Rat, and chirped happily in a welcoming kind of way.
A broad glistening muzzle showed itself above the edge of the bank, and the Otter hauled himself out and shook the water from his coat.
A wide, shiny snout appeared above the bank, and the otter pulled himself out and shook the water off his fur.
“Greedy beggars!” he observed, making for the provender. “Why didn’t you invite me, Ratty?”
“Greedy beggars!” he said, heading for the food. “Why didn’t you invite me, Ratty?”
“This was an impromptu affair,” explained the Rat. “By the way—my friend Mr. Mole.”
“This was a spontaneous event,” explained the Rat. “Oh, and by the way—this is my friend Mr. Mole.”
“Proud, I’m sure,” said the Otter, and the two animals were friends forthwith.
“Proud, I bet,” said the Otter, and the two animals became friends right away.
“Such a rumpus everywhere!” continued the Otter. “All the world seems out on the river to-day. I came up this backwater to try and get a moment’s peace, and then stumble upon you fellows!—At least—I beg pardon—I don’t exactly mean that, you know.”
“Such a ruckus everywhere!” the Otter continued. “It seems like the whole world is out on the river today. I came up this backwater to try and get a moment’s peace, and then I stumbled upon you guys!—At least—I apologize—I don’t really mean that, you know.”
There was a rustle behind them, proceeding from a hedge wherein last year’s leaves still clung thick, and a stripy head, with high shoulders behind it, peered forth on them.
There was a rustling sound behind them, coming from a hedge where last year's leaves still clung tightly, and a striped head with broad shoulders peeked out at them.
“Come on, old Badger!” shouted the Rat.
“Come on, old Badger!” shouted the Rat.
The Badger trotted forward a pace or two; then grunted, “H’m! Company,” and turned his back and disappeared from view.
The Badger walked a step or two forward, then grunted, “H’m! Company,” and turned around, leaving sight.
“That’s just the sort of fellow he is!” observed the disappointed Rat. “Simply hates Society! Now we shan’t see any more of him to-day. Well, tell us, who’s out on the river?”
“That’s just the kind of guy he is!” said the disappointed Rat. “Absolutely hates being social! We won’t be seeing him again today. Well, tell us, who’s on the river?”
“Toad’s out, for one,” replied the Otter. “In his brand-new wager-boat; new togs, new everything!”
“Toad's out, for one,” replied the Otter. “In his brand-new betting boat; new clothes, new everything!”
The two animals looked at each other and laughed.
The two animals looked at each other and laughed.
“Once, it was nothing but sailing,” said the Rat, “Then he tired of that and took to punting. Nothing would please him but to punt all day and every day, and a nice mess he made of it. Last year it was house-boating, and we all had to go and stay with him in his house-boat, and pretend we liked it. He was going to spend the rest of his life in a house-boat. It’s all the same, whatever he takes up; he gets tired of it, and starts on something fresh.”
“Once, all he did was sail,” said the Rat. “Then he got bored with that and switched to punting. The only thing that made him happy was punting all day, every day, and he made quite a mess of it. Last year, he got into house-boating, and we all had to stay with him on his houseboat and pretend we liked it. He said he was going to spend the rest of his life on a houseboat. It’s always the same; whatever he tries, he gets tired of it and moves on to something new.”
“Such a good fellow, too,” remarked the Otter reflectively: “But no stability—especially in a boat!”
“Such a great guy, too,” the Otter said thoughtfully. “But no stability—especially in a boat!”
From where they sat they could get a glimpse of the main stream across the island that separated them; and just then a wager-boat flashed into view, the rower—a short, stout figure—splashing badly and rolling a good deal, but working his hardest. The Rat stood up and hailed him, but Toad—for it was he—shook his head and settled sternly to his work.
From where they were sitting, they could see the main river across the island that divided them; just then, a racing boat came into view, with the rower—a short, heavyset guy—splashing around a lot and wobbling, but giving it his all. The Rat stood up and called out to him, but Toad—it was him—shook his head and focused intently on his task.
“He’ll be out of the boat in a minute if he rolls like that,” said the Rat, sitting down again.
“He’ll be out of the boat in a minute if he keeps rolling like that,” said the Rat, sitting down again.
“Of course he will,” chuckled the Otter. “Did I ever tell you that good story about Toad and the lock-keeper? It happened this way. Toad....”
“Of course he will,” laughed the Otter. “Did I ever tell you that great story about Toad and the lock-keeper? It went like this. Toad....”
An errant May-fly swerved unsteadily athwart the current in the intoxicated fashion affected by young bloods of May-flies seeing life. A swirl of water and a “cloop!” and the May-fly was visible no more.
A wayward May-fly flew unsteadily across the stream in the tipsy style typical of young May-flies enjoying life. A splash of water and a “plop!” and the May-fly was gone.
Neither was the Otter.
Neither was the otter.
The Mole looked down. The voice was still in his ears, but the turf whereon he had sprawled was clearly vacant. Not an Otter to be seen, as far as the distant horizon.
The Mole looked down. The voice was still in his ears, but the ground where he had sprawled was clearly empty. Not a single Otter in sight, as far as the distant horizon.
But again there was a streak of bubbles on the surface of the river.
But once again, there was a line of bubbles on the surface of the river.
The Rat hummed a tune, and the Mole recollected that animal-etiquette forbade any sort of comment on the sudden disappearance of one’s friends at any moment, for any reason or no reason whatever.
The Rat hummed a tune, and the Mole remembered that animal etiquette didn’t allow for any comments on the sudden disappearance of friends at any time, for any reason or even no reason at all.
“Well, well,” said the Rat, “I suppose we ought to be moving. I wonder which of us had better pack the luncheon-basket?” He did not speak as if he was frightfully eager for the treat.
“Well, well,” said the Rat, “I guess we should get going. I wonder which of us should pack the lunch basket?” He didn’t sound like he was too excited about the treat.
“O, please let me,” said the Mole. So, of course, the Rat let him.
“Oh, please let me,” said the Mole. So, of course, the Rat let him.
Packing the basket was not quite such pleasant work as unpacking the basket. It never is. But the Mole was bent on enjoying everything, and although just when he had got the basket packed and strapped up tightly he saw a plate staring up at him from the grass, and when the job had been done again the Rat pointed out a fork which anybody ought to have seen, and last of all, behold! the mustard pot, which he had been sitting on without knowing it—still, somehow, the thing got finished at last, without much loss of temper.
Packing the basket wasn’t as enjoyable as unpacking it. It never is. But the Mole was determined to enjoy everything, and even though just when he had packed the basket up tightly he spotted a plate lying on the grass, and after he redid the job, the Rat pointed out a fork that anyone should have seen, and finally, there was the mustard pot, which he had been sitting on without realizing it—still, somehow, they managed to finish it all without too much frustration.
The afternoon sun was getting low as the Rat sculled gently homewards in a dreamy mood, murmuring poetry-things over to himself, and not paying much attention to Mole. But the Mole was very full of lunch, and self-satisfaction, and pride, and already quite at home in a boat (so he thought) and was getting a bit restless besides: and presently he said, “Ratty! Please, I want to row, now!”
The afternoon sun was hanging low as the Rat smoothly paddled home, lost in a dreamy state, softly reciting poetic lines to himself and not really paying much attention to Mole. But Mole was feeling quite full from lunch, full of himself, and proud, already thinking he was quite at home in a boat, and starting to get a little restless. After a while, he said, “Ratty! Please, I want to row, now!”
The Rat shook his head with a smile. “Not yet, my young friend,” he said—“wait till you’ve had a few lessons. It’s not so easy as it looks.”
The Rat shook his head with a smile. “Not yet, my young friend,” he said—“wait until you’ve had a few lessons. It’s not as easy as it seems.”
The Mole was quiet for a minute or two. But he began to feel more and more jealous of Rat, sculling so strongly and so easily along, and his pride began to whisper that he could do it every bit as well. He jumped up and seized the sculls, so suddenly, that the Rat, who was gazing out over the water and saying more poetry-things to himself, was taken by surprise and fell backwards off his seat with his legs in the air for the second time, while the triumphant Mole took his place and grabbed the sculls with entire confidence.
The Mole was silent for a minute or two. But he started to feel increasingly jealous of Rat, who was rowing so smoothly and effortlessly, and his pride began to suggest that he could do it just as well. He jumped up and grabbed the oars so suddenly that Rat, who was staring out over the water and lost in his thoughts, was caught off guard and fell backward off his seat with his legs in the air for the second time, while the triumphant Mole took his place and took hold of the oars with complete confidence.
“Stop it, you silly ass!” cried the Rat, from the bottom of the boat. “You can’t do it! You’ll have us over!”
“Stop it, you silly fool!” shouted the Rat, from the bottom of the boat. “You can’t do it! You’ll tip us over!”
The Mole flung his sculls back with a flourish, and made a great dig at the water. He missed the surface altogether, his legs flew up above his head, and he found himself lying on the top of the prostrate Rat. Greatly alarmed, he made a grab at the side of the boat, and the next moment—Sploosh!
The Mole threw his paddles back dramatically and took a big swing at the water. He completely missed the surface, his legs flew up over his head, and he ended up on top of the flat Rat. Terrified, he reached for the side of the boat, and the next moment—Sploosh!
Over went the boat, and he found himself struggling in the river.
Over went the boat, and he found himself struggling in the river.
O my, how cold the water was, and O, how very wet it felt. How it sang in his ears as he went down, down, down! How bright and welcome the sun looked as he rose to the surface coughing and spluttering! How black was his despair when he felt himself sinking again! Then a firm paw gripped him by the back of his neck. It was the Rat, and he was evidently laughing—the Mole could feel him laughing, right down his arm and through his paw, and so into his—the Mole’s—neck.
Oh my, how cold the water was, and oh, how very wet it felt. How it sang in his ears as he went down, down, down! How bright and welcoming the sun looked as he surfaced, coughing and spluttering! How dark his despair was when he felt himself sinking again! Then a strong paw gripped him by the back of his neck. It was the Rat, and he was clearly laughing—the Mole could feel him laughing, right down his arm and through his paw, and into his—the Mole’s—neck.
The Rat got hold of a scull and shoved it under the Mole’s arm; then he did the same by the other side of him and, swimming behind, propelled the helpless animal to shore, hauled him out, and set him down on the bank, a squashy, pulpy lump of misery.
The Rat grabbed a skull and shoved it under the Mole’s arm; then he did the same on the other side and, swimming behind, pushed the helpless animal to the shore, pulled him out, and set him down on the bank, a soggy, squishy mess of misery.
When the Rat had rubbed him down a bit, and wrung some of the wet out of him, he said, “Now, then, old fellow! Trot up and down the towing-path as hard as you can, till you’re warm and dry again, while I dive for the luncheon-basket.”
When the Rat had dried him off a bit and squeezed some of the water out of him, he said, “Alright, buddy! Go up and down the towing-path as fast as you can until you’re warm and dry again, while I dive for the lunch basket.”
So the dismal Mole, wet without and ashamed within, trotted about till he was fairly dry, while the Rat plunged into the water again, recovered the boat, righted her and made her fast, fetched his floating property to shore by degrees, and finally dived successfully for the luncheon-basket and struggled to land with it.
So the gloomy Mole, soaked on the outside and embarrassed on the inside, walked around until he was mostly dry, while the Rat jumped back into the water, retrieved the boat, set it upright, secured it, gradually brought his floating possessions to the shore, and finally dove for the picnic basket and fought to haul it onto land.
When all was ready for a start once more, the Mole, limp and dejected, took his seat in the stern of the boat; and as they set off, he said in a low voice, broken with emotion, “Ratty, my generous friend! I am very sorry indeed for my foolish and ungrateful conduct. My heart quite fails me when I think how I might have lost that beautiful luncheon-basket. Indeed, I have been a complete ass, and I know it. Will you overlook it this once and forgive me, and let things go on as before?”
When everything was ready to start again, the Mole, feeling weak and downcast, took his place in the back of the boat. As they set off, he said in a quiet, emotional voice, “Ratty, my kind friend! I’m really sorry for my foolish and ungrateful behavior. I feel terrible when I think about how I could have lost that lovely lunch basket. Honestly, I've acted like a complete fool, and I know it. Will you please forgive me this once and let things go back to the way they were?”
“That’s all right, bless you!” responded the Rat cheerily. “What’s a little wet to a Water Rat? I’m more in the water than out of it most days. Don’t you think any more about it; and, look here! I really think you had better come and stop with me for a little time. It’s very plain and rough, you know—not like Toad’s house at all—but you haven’t seen that yet; still, I can make you comfortable. And I’ll teach you to row, and to swim, and you’ll soon be as handy on the water as any of us.”
“That's okay, thank you!” the Rat replied happily. “What’s a little wet to a Water Rat? I spend most days in the water anyway. Don't worry about it; and, you know what? I really think you should come and stay with me for a while. It's pretty simple and rough, not at all like Toad's house—but you haven't seen that yet. Still, I can make you comfortable. And I'll teach you how to row and swim, and soon you'll be as skilled on the water as any of us.”
The Mole was so touched by his kind manner of speaking that he could find no voice to answer him; and he had to brush away a tear or two with the back of his paw. But the Rat kindly looked in another direction, and presently the Mole’s spirits revived again, and he was even able to give some straight back-talk to a couple of moorhens who were sniggering to each other about his bedraggled appearance.
The Mole was so moved by his gentle way of speaking that he couldn't find the words to respond, and he had to wipe away a tear or two with the back of his paw. But the Rat kindly looked away, and soon the Mole's spirits lifted again, and he was even able to give some sharp replies to a couple of moorhens who were gossiping about his disheveled look.
When they got home, the Rat made a bright fire in the parlour, and planted the Mole in an arm-chair in front of it, having fetched down a dressing-gown and slippers for him, and told him river stories till supper-time. Very thrilling stories they were, too, to an earth-dwelling animal like Mole. Stories about weirs, and sudden floods, and leaping pike, and steamers that flung hard bottles—at least bottles were certainly flung, and from steamers, so presumably by them; and about herons, and how particular they were whom they spoke to; and about adventures down drains, and night-fishings with Otter, or excursions far a-field with Badger. Supper was a most cheerful meal; but very shortly afterwards a terribly sleepy Mole had to be escorted upstairs by his considerate host, to the best bedroom, where he soon laid his head on his pillow in great peace and contentment, knowing that his new-found friend the River was lapping the sill of his window.
When they got home, the Rat started a cozy fire in the living room and set the Mole up in an armchair in front of it, having brought down a robe and slippers for him, and entertained him with river stories until dinner. They were really exciting tales for an earth-dwelling creature like Mole. Stories about weirs, sudden floods, leaping pike, and steamers that tossed hard bottles—at least bottles were definitely tossed, and from steamers, so presumably by them; and tales about herons and how choosy they were about who they talked to; and adventures down drains, and night-fishing with Otter, or trips far and wide with Badger. Dinner was a really enjoyable meal; but shortly after, a very sleepy Mole had to be taken upstairs by his thoughtful host, to the best bedroom, where he quickly laid his head on his pillow in great peace and contentment, knowing that his new friend the River was gently lapping at his window.
This day was only the first of many similar ones for the emancipated Mole, each of them longer and full of interest as the ripening summer moved onward. He learnt to swim and to row, and entered into the joy of running water; and with his ear to the reed-stems he caught, at intervals, something of what the wind went whispering so constantly among them.
This day was just the first of many like it for the freed Mole, each one longer and more engaging as summer continued to unfold. He learned to swim and row, and found joy in the flowing water; and with his ear pressed against the reeds, he occasionally caught snippets of what the wind was constantly whispering among them.
II.
THE OPEN ROAD
“Ratty,” said the Mole suddenly, one bright summer morning, “if you please, I want to ask you a favour.”
“Ratty,” said the Mole suddenly, one bright summer morning, “if you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you a favor.”
The Rat was sitting on the river bank, singing a little song. He had just composed it himself, so he was very taken up with it, and would not pay proper attention to Mole or anything else. Since early morning he had been swimming in the river, in company with his friends the ducks. And when the ducks stood on their heads suddenly, as ducks will, he would dive down and tickle their necks, just under where their chins would be if ducks had chins, till they were forced to come to the surface again in a hurry, spluttering and angry and shaking their feathers at him, for it is impossible to say quite all you feel when your head is under water. At last they implored him to go away and attend to his own affairs and leave them to mind theirs. So the Rat went away, and sat on the river bank in the sun, and made up a song about them, which he called
The Rat was sitting on the riverbank, singing a little song. He had just made it up himself, so he was really into it and wouldn’t pay proper attention to Mole or anything else. Since early morning, he had been swimming in the river with his friends, the ducks. When the ducks suddenly stood on their heads, as ducks do, he would dive down and tickle their necks, right under where their chins would be if ducks had chins, until they had to come to the surface in a hurry, spluttering and angry, shaking their feathers at him because it’s impossible to express everything you feel when your head is underwater. Eventually, they begged him to go away, take care of his own business, and let them mind theirs. So, the Rat went away, sat on the riverbank in the sun, and made up a song about them, which he called
“DUCKS’ DITTY.”
All along the backwater,
Through the rushes tall,
Ducks are a-dabbling,
Up tails all!
Ducks’ tails, drakes’ tails,
Yellow feet a-quiver,
Yellow bills all out of sight
Busy in the river!
Slushy green undergrowth
Where the roach swim—
Here we keep our larder,
Cool and full and dim.
Everyone for what he likes!
We like to be
Heads down, tails up,
Dabbling free!
High in the blue above
Swifts whirl and call—
We are down a-dabbling
Uptails all!
“DUCKS’ DITTY.”
All along the backwater,
Through the tall reeds,
Ducks are dabbling,
Up tails all!
Ducks’ tails, drakes’ tails,
Yellow feet a-quivering,
Yellow bills all out of sight
Busy in the river!
Slushy green undergrowth
Where the roach swim—
Here we keep our pantry,
Cool and full and dim.
Everyone for what they like!
We like to be
Heads down, tails up,
Dabbling free!
High in the blue above
Swifts whirl and call—
We are down a-dabbling
Uptails all!
“I don’t know that I think so very much of that little song, Rat,” observed the Mole cautiously. He was no poet himself and didn’t care who knew it; and he had a candid nature.
“I’m not sure I think that little song is all that great,” the Mole said cautiously. He wasn’t a poet himself and didn’t care who knew it; he was straightforward by nature.
“Nor don’t the ducks neither,” replied the Rat cheerfully. “They say, ‘Why can’t fellows be allowed to do what they like when they like and as they like, instead of other fellows sitting on banks and watching them all the time and making remarks and poetry and things about them? What nonsense it all is!’ That’s what the ducks say.”
“Nor do the ducks either,” the Rat replied cheerfully. “They say, ‘Why can’t guys be allowed to do what they want when they want and how they want, instead of other people just sitting on the banks watching them all the time and making comments and poetry and stuff about them? What nonsense it all is!’ That’s what the ducks say.”
“So it is, so it is,” said the Mole, with great heartiness.
“So it is, so it is,” said the Mole, enthusiastically.
“No, it isn’t!” cried the Rat indignantly.
“No, it isn’t!” the Rat shouted angrily.
“Well then, it isn’t, it isn’t,” replied the Mole soothingly. “But what I wanted to ask you was, won’t you take me to call on Mr. Toad? I’ve heard so much about him, and I do so want to make his acquaintance.”
“Well then, it isn’t, it isn’t,” replied the Mole calmly. “But what I wanted to ask you is, will you take me to visit Mr. Toad? I’ve heard a lot about him, and I really want to meet him.”
“Why, certainly,” said the good-natured Rat, jumping to his feet and dismissing poetry from his mind for the day. “Get the boat out, and we’ll paddle up there at once. It’s never the wrong time to call on Toad. Early or late he’s always the same fellow. Always good-tempered, always glad to see you, always sorry when you go!”
“Of course,” said the easygoing Rat, jumping to his feet and putting poetry aside for the day. “Let’s get the boat out, and we’ll head up there right away. There’s never a bad time to visit Toad. Whether it’s early or late, he’s always the same guy. Always cheerful, always happy to see you, and always sad to see you leave!”
“He must be a very nice animal,” observed the Mole, as he got into the boat and took the sculls, while the Rat settled himself comfortably in the stern.
“He must be a really nice animal,” said the Mole as he climbed into the boat and grabbed the oars, while the Rat settled in comfortably at the back.
“He is indeed the best of animals,” replied Rat. “So simple, so good-natured, and so affectionate. Perhaps he’s not very clever—we can’t all be geniuses; and it may be that he is both boastful and conceited. But he has got some great qualities, has Toady.”
"He really is the best of animals," said Rat. "So simple, so good-natured, and so affectionate. Maybe he’s not the brightest—we can’t all be geniuses; and he might be a bit boastful and full of himself. But Toady has some great qualities."
Rounding a bend in the river, they came in sight of a handsome, dignified old house of mellowed red brick, with well-kept lawns reaching down to the water’s edge.
Rounding a bend in the river, they saw a beautiful, stately old house made of warm red brick, with neat lawns that stretched down to the water's edge.
“There’s Toad Hall,” said the Rat; “and that creek on the left, where the notice-board says, ‘Private. No landing allowed,’ leads to his boat-house, where we’ll leave the boat. The stables are over there to the right. That’s the banqueting-hall you’re looking at now—very old, that is. Toad is rather rich, you know, and this is really one of the nicest houses in these parts, though we never admit as much to Toad.”
“There’s Toad Hall,” said the Rat; “and that creek on the left, where the notice board says, ‘Private. No landing allowed,’ leads to his boathouse, where we’ll leave the boat. The stables are over there on the right. That’s the banqueting hall you’re looking at now—very old, that is. Toad is pretty wealthy, you know, and this is really one of the nicest houses around here, though we never admit it to Toad.”
They glided up the creek, and the Mole shipped his sculls as they passed into the shadow of a large boat-house. Here they saw many handsome boats, slung from the cross beams or hauled up on a slip, but none in the water; and the place had an unused and a deserted air.
They smoothly made their way up the creek, and the Mole put away his oars as they entered the shadow of a big boathouse. Here, they noticed several beautiful boats hanging from the cross beams or pulled up on a slip, but none were in the water; the place felt empty and neglected.
The Rat looked around him. “I understand,” said he. “Boating is played out. He’s tired of it, and done with it. I wonder what new fad he has taken up now? Come along and let’s look him up. We shall hear all about it quite soon enough.”
The Rat looked around. “I get it,” he said. “Boating is over. He’s done with it. I wonder what new trend he’s into now? Let’s go find him. We’ll hear all about it soon enough.”
They disembarked, and strolled across the gay flower-decked lawns in search of Toad, whom they presently happened upon resting in a wicker garden-chair, with a pre-occupied expression of face, and a large map spread out on his knees.
They got off and walked across the colorful flower-filled lawns looking for Toad, who they soon found lounging in a wicker chair, looking deep in thought with a big map spread out on his lap.
“Hooray!” he cried, jumping up on seeing them, “this is splendid!” He shook the paws of both of them warmly, never waiting for an introduction to the Mole. “How kind of you!” he went on, dancing round them. “I was just going to send a boat down the river for you, Ratty, with strict orders that you were to be fetched up here at once, whatever you were doing. I want you badly—both of you. Now what will you take? Come inside and have something! You don’t know how lucky it is, your turning up just now!”
“Hooray!” he shouted, jumping up when he saw them, “this is awesome!” He warmly shook hands with both of them, not bothering to wait for an introduction to the Mole. “How nice of you!” he continued, dancing around them. “I was about to send a boat down the river for you, Ratty, with strict instructions to bring you both here immediately, no matter what you were doing. I need you both—badly. Now, what can I get you? Come inside and have something! You have no idea how lucky it is that you showed up right now!”
“Let’s sit quiet a bit, Toady!” said the Rat, throwing himself into an easy chair, while the Mole took another by the side of him and made some civil remark about Toad’s “delightful residence.”
“Let’s sit quietly for a bit, Toady!” said the Rat, collapsing into an easy chair, while the Mole took another chair next to him and made a polite comment about Toad’s “lovely home.”
“Finest house on the whole river,” cried Toad boisterously. “Or anywhere else, for that matter,” he could not help adding.
“Best house on the entire river,” Toad shouted enthusiastically. “Or anywhere else, for that matter,” he couldn’t help but add.
Here the Rat nudged the Mole. Unfortunately the Toad saw him do it, and turned very red. There was a moment’s painful silence. Then Toad burst out laughing. “All right, Ratty,” he said. “It’s only my way, you know. And it’s not such a very bad house, is it? You know you rather like it yourself. Now, look here. Let’s be sensible. You are the very animals I wanted. You’ve got to help me. It’s most important!”
Here, the Rat nudged the Mole. Unfortunately, the Toad saw him do it and turned very red. There was a moment of awkward silence. Then Toad burst out laughing. “All right, Ratty,” he said. “It’s just how I am, you know. And it’s not such a bad house, is it? You know you actually like it too. Now, listen. Let’s be reasonable. You’re exactly the animals I wanted. You’ve got to help me. It’s really important!”
“It’s about your rowing, I suppose,” said the Rat, with an innocent air. “You’re getting on fairly well, though you splash a good bit still. With a great deal of patience, and any quantity of coaching, you may——”
“It’s about your rowing, I guess,” said the Rat, with an innocent look. “You’re doing pretty well, although you still splash quite a bit. With a lot of patience and plenty of coaching, you might——”
“O, pooh! boating!” interrupted the Toad, in great disgust. “Silly boyish amusement. I’ve given that up long ago. Sheer waste of time, that’s what it is. It makes me downright sorry to see you fellows, who ought to know better, spending all your energies in that aimless manner. No, I’ve discovered the real thing, the only genuine occupation for a life time. I propose to devote the remainder of mine to it, and can only regret the wasted years that lie behind me, squandered in trivialities. Come with me, dear Ratty, and your amiable friend also, if he will be so very good, just as far as the stable-yard, and you shall see what you shall see!”
“Oh, come on! Boating!” interrupted the Toad, feeling really annoyed. “It’s just a silly boyish pastime. I gave that up a long time ago. What a waste of time! It honestly makes me feel sorry for you guys, who should know better, spending all your energy in such a pointless way. No, I’ve found the real deal, the only true pursuit for a lifetime. I plan to dedicate the rest of mine to it and can only regret the wasted years behind me, spent on trivial stuff. Come with me, dear Ratty, and your nice friend too, if he’s up for it, just to the stable yard, and you’ll see for yourself!”
He led the way to the stable-yard accordingly, the Rat following with a most mistrustful expression; and there, drawn out of the coach house into the open, they saw a gipsy caravan, shining with newness, painted a canary-yellow picked out with green, and red wheels.
He walked ahead to the stable yard, with the Rat trailing behind, looking very suspicious. There, pulled out from the coach house into the open, they saw a gypsy caravan, gleaming with freshness, painted a bright canary yellow with green accents and red wheels.
“There you are!” cried the Toad, straddling and expanding himself. “There’s real life for you, embodied in that little cart. The open road, the dusty highway, the heath, the common, the hedgerows, the rolling downs! Camps, villages, towns, cities! Here to-day, up and off to somewhere else to-morrow! Travel, change, interest, excitement! The whole world before you, and a horizon that’s always changing! And mind! this is the very finest cart of its sort that was ever built, without any exception. Come inside and look at the arrangements. Planned ’em all myself, I did!”
“There you are!” shouted the Toad, straddling and puffing himself up. “There’s real life for you, captured in that little cart. The open road, the dusty highway, the heath, the common, the hedgerows, the rolling hills! Camps, villages, towns, cities! Here today, off to somewhere else tomorrow! Travel, change, adventure, excitement! The whole world ahead of you, with a horizon that’s always shifting! And just so you know, this is the absolute best cart of its kind that’s ever been made, no exceptions. Come inside and check out the setup. I designed it all myself, I did!”
The Mole was tremendously interested and excited, and followed him eagerly up the steps and into the interior of the caravan. The Rat only snorted and thrust his hands deep into his pockets, remaining where he was.
The Mole was really interested and excited, and followed him eagerly up the steps and into the caravan. The Rat just snorted and shoved his hands deep into his pockets, staying where he was.
It was indeed very compact and comfortable. Little sleeping bunks—a little table that folded up against the wall—a cooking-stove, lockers, bookshelves, a bird-cage with a bird in it; and pots, pans, jugs and kettles of every size and variety.
It was really compact and cozy. Small sleeping bunks—a little table that folded up against the wall—a stove for cooking, lockers, bookshelves, a birdcage with a bird inside; and pots, pans, jugs, and kettles of all sizes and types.
“All complete!” said the Toad triumphantly, pulling open a locker. “You see—biscuits, potted lobster, sardines—everything you can possibly want. Soda-water here—baccy there—letter-paper, bacon, jam, cards and dominoes—you’ll find,” he continued, as they descended the steps again, “you’ll find that nothing what ever has been forgotten, when we make our start this afternoon.”
“All done!” said the Toad proudly, tugging open a locker. “Look—cookies, canned lobster, sardines—everything you could possibly need. Sparkling water here—tobacco there—stationery, bacon, jam, cards, and dominoes—you’ll see,” he added as they went back down the steps, “you’ll see that nothing at all has been overlooked when we set off this afternoon.”
“I beg your pardon,” said the Rat slowly, as he chewed a straw, “but did I overhear you say something about ‘we,’ and ‘start,’ and ‘this afternoon?’”
“I’m sorry,” said the Rat slowly, while chewing on a straw, “but did I hear you mention something about ‘we,’ and ‘start,’ and ‘this afternoon?’”
“Now, you dear good old Ratty,” said Toad, imploringly, “don’t begin talking in that stiff and sniffy sort of way, because you know you’ve got to come. I can’t possibly manage without you, so please consider it settled, and don’t argue—it’s the one thing I can’t stand. You surely don’t mean to stick to your dull fusty old river all your life, and just live in a hole in a bank, and boat? I want to show you the world! I’m going to make an animal of you, my boy!”
“Now, you dear old Ratty,” said Toad, pleadingly, “don’t start talking in that stiff and uptight way, because you know you’ve got to come. I can’t possibly do this without you, so let’s just agree on it, and don’t argue—it’s the one thing I really can’t stand. You can’t possibly want to stay in your boring old river for your whole life, just living in a hole in the bank, and boating? I want to show you the world! I’m going to bring you to life, my friend!”
“I don’t care,” said the Rat, doggedly. “I’m not coming, and that’s flat. And I am going to stick to my old river, and live in a hole, and boat, as I’ve always done. And what’s more, Mole’s going to stick to me and do as I do, aren’t you, Mole?”
“I don’t care,” said the Rat, stubbornly. “I’m not going, and that’s final. And I am going to stay in my old river, and live in a hole, and row my boat, just like I always have. And what’s more, Mole’s going to stick with me and do what I do, right, Mole?”
“Of course I am,” said the Mole, loyally. “I’ll always stick to you, Rat, and what you say is to be—has got to be. All the same, it sounds as if it might have been—well, rather fun, you know!” he added, wistfully. Poor Mole! The Life Adventurous was so new a thing to him, and so thrilling; and this fresh aspect of it was so tempting; and he had fallen in love at first sight with the canary-coloured cart and all its little fitments.
“Of course I am,” said the Mole, loyally. “I’ll always stick by you, Rat, and whatever you say is going to happen—has to happen. Still, it sounds like it could have been—well, pretty fun, you know!” he added, wistfully. Poor Mole! The adventurous life was such a new experience for him and so exciting; this new angle of it was incredibly tempting; and he had fallen in love at first sight with the canary-colored cart and all its little accessories.
The Rat saw what was passing in his mind, and wavered. He hated disappointing people, and he was fond of the Mole, and would do almost anything to oblige him. Toad was watching both of them closely.
The Rat saw what was going on in his mind and hesitated. He hated letting people down, and he liked the Mole and would do almost anything to help him. Toad was watching them both closely.
“Come along in, and have some lunch,” he said, diplomatically, “and we’ll talk it over. We needn’t decide anything in a hurry. Of course, I don’t really care. I only want to give pleasure to you fellows. ‘Live for others!’ That’s my motto in life.”
“Come on in and have some lunch,” he said, being diplomatic, “and we’ll discuss it. We don’t need to rush into any decisions. Honestly, I don’t really mind. I just want to make you guys happy. ‘Live for others!’ That’s my motto in life.”
During luncheon—which was excellent, of course, as everything at Toad Hall always was—the Toad simply let himself go. Disregarding the Rat, he proceeded to play upon the inexperienced Mole as on a harp. Naturally a voluble animal, and always mastered by his imagination, he painted the prospects of the trip and the joys of the open life and the roadside in such glowing colours that the Mole could hardly sit in his chair for excitement. Somehow, it soon seemed taken for granted by all three of them that the trip was a settled thing; and the Rat, though still unconvinced in his mind, allowed his good-nature to over-ride his personal objections. He could not bear to disappoint his two friends, who were already deep in schemes and anticipations, planning out each day’s separate occupation for several weeks ahead.
During lunch—which was fantastic, as everything at Toad Hall always is—Toad just let loose. Ignoring Rat, he started to play on the inexperienced Mole like a harp. Naturally a talkative creature, and always driven by his imagination, he painted the future of the trip and the joys of the outdoors and the journey in such vibrant colors that Mole could hardly stay in his seat for excitement. Somehow, it quickly seemed obvious to all three of them that the trip was a done deal; and although Rat still had his doubts, he let his good nature take over his personal hesitations. He couldn't bear to let down his two friends, who were already deeply involved in plans and expectations, mapping out each day’s activities for several weeks to come.
When they were quite ready, the now triumphant Toad led his companions to the paddock and set them to capture the old grey horse, who, without having been consulted, and to his own extreme annoyance, had been told off by Toad for the dustiest job in this dusty expedition. He frankly preferred the paddock, and took a deal of catching. Meantime Toad packed the lockers still tighter with necessaries, and hung nosebags, nets of onions, bundles of hay, and baskets from the bottom of the cart. At last the horse was caught and harnessed, and they set off, all talking at once, each animal either trudging by the side of the cart or sitting on the shaft, as the humour took him. It was a golden afternoon. The smell of the dust they kicked up was rich and satisfying; out of thick orchards on either side the road, birds called and whistled to them cheerily; good-natured wayfarers, passing them, gave them “Good-day,” or stopped to say nice things about their beautiful cart; and rabbits, sitting at their front doors in the hedgerows, held up their fore-paws, and said, “O my! O my! O my!”
When they were all set, the now victorious Toad led his friends to the paddock and started to catch the old grey horse, who, without being asked, and to his great annoyance, had been assigned by Toad to the dirtiest job on this dusty adventure. He would much rather have been in the paddock and took quite a bit of effort to catch. In the meantime, Toad crammed the lockers with supplies and hung feed bags, nets of onions, bundles of hay, and baskets from the cart's bottom. Finally, the horse was caught and harnessed, and they were off, all talking at once, with each animal either trudging beside the cart or sitting on the shaft, as they pleased. It was a beautiful afternoon. The aroma of the dust they kicked up was rich and satisfying; from the thick orchards on either side of the road, birds chirped and whistled to them happily; friendly travelers passing by greeted them with “Good day,” or stopped to say nice things about their lovely cart; and rabbits, sitting at their front doors in the hedgerows, held up their front paws and exclaimed, “Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!”
Late in the evening, tired and happy and miles from home, they drew up on a remote common far from habitations, turned the horse loose to graze, and ate their simple supper sitting on the grass by the side of the cart. Toad talked big about all he was going to do in the days to come, while stars grew fuller and larger all around them, and a yellow moon, appearing suddenly and silently from nowhere in particular, came to keep them company and listen to their talk. At last they turned in to their little bunks in the cart; and Toad, kicking out his legs, sleepily said, “Well, good night, you fellows! This is the real life for a gentleman! Talk about your old river!”
Late in the evening, tired and happy and miles away from home, they pulled up at a secluded field far from any buildings, let the horse roam free to graze, and ate their simple dinner sitting on the grass next to the cart. Toad boasted about everything he planned to do in the coming days, while the stars became brighter and bigger around them, and a yellow moon, appearing suddenly and quietly from nowhere, joined them to listen to their conversation. Finally, they settled into their little beds in the cart; and Toad, stretching out his legs, sleepily said, “Well, good night, guys! This is the good life for a gentleman! Forget about your old river!”
“I don’t talk about my river,” replied the patient Rat. “You know I don’t, Toad. But I think about it,” he added pathetically, in a lower tone: “I think about it—all the time!”
“I don’t talk about my river,” replied the patient Rat. “You know I don’t, Toad. But I think about it,” he added pathetically, in a lower tone: “I think about it—all the time!”
The Mole reached out from under his blanket, felt for the Rat’s paw in the darkness, and gave it a squeeze. “I’ll do whatever you like, Ratty,” he whispered. “Shall we run away to-morrow morning, quite early—very early—and go back to our dear old hole on the river?”
The Mole reached out from under his blanket, felt for the Rat’s paw in the dark, and squeezed it. “I’ll do whatever you want, Ratty,” he whispered. “Should we run away tomorrow morning, really early—very early—and go back to our beloved old home by the river?”
“No, no, we’ll see it out,” whispered back the Rat. “Thanks awfully, but I ought to stick by Toad till this trip is ended. It wouldn’t be safe for him to be left to himself. It won’t take very long. His fads never do. Good night!”
“No, no, we’ll stick it out,” the Rat whispered back. “Thanks so much, but I really need to stay with Toad until this trip is over. It wouldn’t be safe for him to be on his own. It won’t take long. His obsessions never do. Good night!”
The end was indeed nearer than even the Rat suspected.
The end was definitely closer than the Rat even realized.
After so much open air and excitement the Toad slept very soundly, and no amount of shaking could rouse him out of bed next morning. So the Mole and Rat turned to, quietly and manfully, and while the Rat saw to the horse, and lit a fire, and cleaned last night’s cups and platters, and got things ready for breakfast, the Mole trudged off to the nearest village, a long way off, for milk and eggs and various necessaries the Toad had, of course, forgotten to provide. The hard work had all been done, and the two animals were resting, thoroughly exhausted, by the time Toad appeared on the scene, fresh and gay, remarking what a pleasant easy life it was they were all leading now, after the cares and worries and fatigues of housekeeping at home.
After all that fresh air and excitement, Toad slept really soundly, and no amount of shaking could wake him up the next morning. So, Mole and Rat got to work quietly and resolutely. While Rat took care of the horse, started a fire, washed last night’s dishes, and prepared breakfast, Mole trudged off to the nearest village, which was quite a distance away, to get milk, eggs, and other essentials that Toad had, of course, forgotten to bring. By the time Toad finally showed up, looking bright and cheerful, the two animals were resting, completely worn out, and Toad remarked on how pleasant and easy their life was now, compared to the stresses and strains of housekeeping back home.
They had a pleasant ramble that day over grassy downs and along narrow by-lanes, and camped as before, on a common, only this time the two guests took care that Toad should do his fair share of work. In consequence, when the time came for starting next morning, Toad was by no means so rapturous about the simplicity of the primitive life, and indeed attempted to resume his place in his bunk, whence he was hauled by force. Their way lay, as before, across country by narrow lanes, and it was not till the afternoon that they came out on the high-road, their first high-road; and there disaster, fleet and unforeseen, sprang out on them—disaster momentous indeed to their expedition, but simply overwhelming in its effect on the after-career of Toad.
They had a nice walk that day over grassy hills and along narrow backroads, and set up camp as they had before, on a common area. This time, the two guests made sure Toad contributed his fair share of work. As a result, when it was time to start the next morning, Toad was far from thrilled about the simplicity of their basic lifestyle and actually tried to crawl back into his bunk, from which he was forcibly dragged. Their route was, as before, through narrow lanes, and it wasn’t until the afternoon that they reached the main road, their first main road; and there, disaster—quick and unexpected—struck them. This disaster was significant for their journey, but it had an overwhelmingly transformative impact on Toad's future.
They were strolling along the high-road easily, the Mole by the horse’s head, talking to him, since the horse had complained that he was being frightfully left out of it, and nobody considered him in the least; the Toad and the Water Rat walking behind the cart talking together—at least Toad was talking, and Rat was saying at intervals, “Yes, precisely; and what did you say to him?”—and thinking all the time of something very different, when far behind them they heard a faint warning hum; like the drone of a distant bee. Glancing back, they saw a small cloud of dust, with a dark centre of energy, advancing on them at incredible speed, while from out the dust a faint “Poop-poop!” wailed like an uneasy animal in pain. Hardly regarding it, they turned to resume their conversation, when in an instant (as it seemed) the peaceful scene was changed, and with a blast of wind and a whirl of sound that made them jump for the nearest ditch, It was on them! The “Poop-poop” rang with a brazen shout in their ears, they had a moment’s glimpse of an interior of glittering plate-glass and rich morocco, and the magnificent motor-car, immense, breath-snatching, passionate, with its pilot tense and hugging his wheel, possessed all earth and air for the fraction of a second, flung an enveloping cloud of dust that blinded and enwrapped them utterly, and then dwindled to a speck in the far distance, changed back into a droning bee once more.
They were walking along the main road easily, with the Mole by the horse’s head, chatting with him because the horse had complained that he was really being left out and no one considered him at all; Toad and the Water Rat were walking behind the cart talking together—at least Toad was talking, while Rat chimed in occasionally with, “Yes, exactly; and what did you say to him?”—but he was actually thinking about something completely different. Suddenly, far behind them, they heard a faint warning hum, like the buzz of a distant bee. When they glanced back, they saw a small cloud of dust with a dark center of energy speeding toward them, and from the dust came a faint “Poop-poop!” that sounded like a distressed animal. Hardly paying attention, they turned back to continue their conversation, when in an instant (or so it seemed) the peaceful scene transformed, and with a blast of wind and a whirlwind of sound that made them leap for the nearest ditch, it was upon them! The “Poop-poop” echoed in their ears like a loud shout, and they caught a brief glimpse of a shiny interior filled with glittering glass and rich leather. The magnificent motorcar, enormous, breathtaking, and intense, with its driver tense and gripping the wheel, seized all of earth and air for just a fraction of a second, throwing up a swirling cloud of dust that completely blinded and engulfed them, and then it shrank to a dot in the distance, turning back into the sound of a droning bee once more.
The old grey horse, dreaming, as he plodded along, of his quiet paddock, in a new raw situation such as this simply abandoned himself to his natural emotions. Rearing, plunging, backing steadily, in spite of all the Mole’s efforts at his head, and all the Mole’s lively language directed at his better feelings, he drove the cart backwards towards the deep ditch at the side of the road. It wavered an instant—then there was a heartrending crash—and the canary-coloured cart, their pride and their joy, lay on its side in the ditch, an irredeemable wreck.
The old gray horse, dreaming as he trudged along, thought about his quiet paddock. In this unfamiliar situation, he just gave in to his natural instincts. Rearing up, lunging, and backing away steadily, despite all of the Mole’s efforts to guide him and his lively words aimed at appealing to his better nature, he pushed the cart backward toward the deep ditch beside the road. It wobbled for a moment—then there was a heartbreaking crash—and the bright yellow cart, their pride and joy, lay on its side in the ditch, a total loss.
The Rat danced up and down in the road, simply transported with passion. “You villains!” he shouted, shaking both fists, “You scoundrels, you highwaymen, you—you—roadhogs!—I’ll have the law of you! I’ll report you! I’ll take you through all the Courts!” His home-sickness had quite slipped away from him, and for the moment he was the skipper of the canary-coloured vessel driven on a shoal by the reckless jockeying of rival mariners, and he was trying to recollect all the fine and biting things he used to say to masters of steam-launches when their wash, as they drove too near the bank, used to flood his parlour-carpet at home.
The Rat danced up and down the road, completely overwhelmed with emotion. “You crooks!” he yelled, shaking both fists, “You scoundrels, you robbers, you—you—road hogs! I’ll bring the law down on you! I’ll report you! I’ll drag you through all the courts!” His homesickness had completely faded, and for the moment he was the captain of the bright yellow boat, stuck on a sandbank due to the reckless maneuvering of competing sailors. He was trying to remember all the clever and sharp things he used to say to the operators of steam launches when their wake, as they passed too close to the shore, soaked his living room carpet at home.
Toad sat straight down in the middle of the dusty road, his legs stretched out before him, and stared fixedly in the direction of the disappearing motor-car. He breathed short, his face wore a placid satisfied expression, and at intervals he faintly murmured “Poop-poop!”
Toad plopped down right in the middle of the dusty road, legs stretched out in front of him, and stared intently at the vanishing motorcar. He was breathing heavily, his face had a calm, satisfied look, and occasionally he quietly muttered, “Poop-poop!”
The Mole was busy trying to quiet the horse, which he succeeded in doing after a time. Then he went to look at the cart, on its side in the ditch. It was indeed a sorry sight. Panels and windows smashed, axles hopelessly bent, one wheel off, sardine-tins scattered over the wide world, and the bird in the bird-cage sobbing pitifully and calling to be let out.
The Mole was busy trying to calm the horse, and he managed to do it after a while. Then he went to check out the cart, which was tipped over in the ditch. It was truly a sad sight. Panels and windows were broken, the axles were hopelessly bent, one wheel was missing, sardine cans were scattered everywhere, and the bird in the cage was crying sadly, begging to be let out.
The Rat came to help him, but their united efforts were not sufficient to right the cart. “Hi! Toad!” they cried. “Come and bear a hand, can’t you!”
The Rat came to help him, but their combined efforts weren't enough to lift the cart. “Hey! Toad!” they shouted. “Can you come and give us a hand?”
The Toad never answered a word, or budged from his seat in the road; so they went to see what was the matter with him. They found him in a sort of a trance, a happy smile on his face, his eyes still fixed on the dusty wake of their destroyer. At intervals he was still heard to murmur “Poop-poop!”
The Toad didn’t respond at all or move from his spot in the road, so they went to check on him. They found him in a kind of daze, a happy smile on his face, his eyes still locked on the dusty trail of their destroyer. Every now and then, they could still hear him mumbling, “Poop-poop!”
The Rat shook him by the shoulder. “Are you coming to help us, Toad?” he demanded sternly.
The Rat shook him by the shoulder. “Are you coming to help us, Toad?” he asked firmly.
“Glorious, stirring sight!” murmured Toad, never offering to move. “The poetry of motion! The real way to travel! The only way to travel! Here to-day—in next week to-morrow! Villages skipped, towns and cities jumped—always somebody else’s horizon! O bliss! O poop-poop! O my! O my!”
“Glorious, amazing sight!” Toad murmured, never thinking of moving. “The beauty of motion! The best way to travel! The only way to travel! Here today—in next week, tomorrow! Villages skipped, towns and cities jumped—always someone else’s horizon! Oh bliss! Oh wow! Oh my! Oh my!”
“O stop being an ass, Toad!” cried the Mole despairingly.
“O stop being a jerk, Toad!” cried the Mole in frustration.
“And to think I never knew!” went on the Toad in a dreamy monotone. “All those wasted years that lie behind me, I never knew, never even dreamt! But now—but now that I know, now that I fully realise! O what a flowery track lies spread before me, henceforth! What dust-clouds shall spring up behind me as I speed on my reckless way! What carts I shall fling carelessly into the ditch in the wake of my magnificent onset! Horrid little carts—common carts—canary-coloured carts!”
“And to think I never knew!” the Toad continued in a dreamy tone. “All those wasted years behind me, I never knew, never even dreamed! But now—now that I know, now that I really understand! Oh, what a beautiful path is laid out before me from now on! What clouds of dust will rise behind me as I rush down my wild path! What carts I’ll carelessly throw into the ditch in the wake of my amazing arrival! Horrible little carts—regular carts—bright yellow carts!”
“What are we to do with him?” asked the Mole of the Water Rat.
“What should we do with him?” asked the Mole to the Water Rat.
“Nothing at all,” replied the Rat firmly. “Because there is really nothing to be done. You see, I know him from of old. He is now possessed. He has got a new craze, and it always takes him that way, in its first stage. He’ll continue like that for days now, like an animal walking in a happy dream, quite useless for all practical purposes. Never mind him. Let’s go and see what there is to be done about the cart.”
“Nothing at all,” replied the Rat confidently. “Because there really isn’t anything we can do. You see, I’ve known him for a long time. He’s caught up in something new, and it always hits him like this at the start. He’ll be like this for days now, like an animal wandering in a happy dream, completely useless for anything practical. Forget about him. Let’s go see what we can do about the cart.”
A careful inspection showed them that, even if they succeeded in righting it by themselves, the cart would travel no longer. The axles were in a hopeless state, and the missing wheel was shattered into pieces.
A close look revealed to them that, even if they managed to fix it themselves, the cart wouldn't go anywhere. The axles were in terrible shape, and the broken wheel was in pieces.
The Rat knotted the horse’s reins over his back and took him by the head, carrying the bird cage and its hysterical occupant in the other hand. “Come on!” he said grimly to the Mole. “It’s five or six miles to the nearest town, and we shall just have to walk it. The sooner we make a start the better.”
The Rat tied the horse’s reins over his back and grabbed him by the head, holding the birdcage and its panicked occupant in the other hand. “Let’s go!” he said sternly to the Mole. “It’s about five or six miles to the nearest town, and we’ll just have to walk it. The sooner we get going, the better.”
“But what about Toad?” asked the Mole anxiously, as they set off together. “We can’t leave him here, sitting in the middle of the road by himself, in the distracted state he’s in! It’s not safe. Supposing another Thing were to come along?”
“But what about Toad?” asked Mole anxiously as they set off together. “We can’t leave him here, sitting in the middle of the road by himself, in the state he’s in! It’s not safe. What if another car were to come along?”
“O, bother Toad,” said the Rat savagely; “I’ve done with him!”
“O, ugh Toad,” said the Rat angrily; “I’m done with him!”
They had not proceeded very far on their way, however, when there was a pattering of feet behind them, and Toad caught them up and thrust a paw inside the elbow of each of them; still breathing short and staring into vacancy.
They hadn't gotten very far on their way, though, when they heard footsteps behind them. Toad caught up and slipped a paw inside the elbow of each of them, still breathing heavily and staring into space.
“Now, look here, Toad!” said the Rat sharply: “as soon as we get to the town, you’ll have to go straight to the police-station, and see if they know anything about that motor-car and who it belongs to, and lodge a complaint against it. And then you’ll have to go to a blacksmith’s or a wheelwright’s and arrange for the cart to be fetched and mended and put to rights. It’ll take time, but it’s not quite a hopeless smash. Meanwhile, the Mole and I will go to an inn and find comfortable rooms where we can stay till the cart’s ready, and till your nerves have recovered their shock.”
“Listen up, Toad!” the Rat said sharply. “As soon as we get to town, you need to head straight to the police station and see if they know anything about that car, who it belongs to, and file a complaint. After that, you’ll need to go to a blacksmith or a wheelwright to arrange for the cart to be picked up, fixed, and made roadworthy again. It’ll take some time, but it’s not a total disaster. In the meantime, the Mole and I will find an inn with nice rooms to stay in until the cart is ready and you’ve had a chance to calm down.”
“Police-station! Complaint!” murmured Toad dreamily. “Me complain of that beautiful, that heavenly vision that has been vouchsafed me! Mend the cart! I’ve done with carts for ever. I never want to see the cart, or to hear of it, again. O, Ratty! You can’t think how obliged I am to you for consenting to come on this trip! I wouldn’t have gone without you, and then I might never have seen that—that swan, that sunbeam, that thunderbolt! I might never have heard that entrancing sound, or smelt that bewitching smell! I owe it all to you, my best of friends!”
“Police station! Complaint!” Toad murmured dreamily. “I’m complaining about that beautiful, that heavenly vision I was given! Fix the cart! I’m done with carts forever. I never want to see that cart or hear about it again. Oh, Ratty! You have no idea how grateful I am that you agreed to come on this trip! I wouldn’t have gone without you, and then I might never have seen that—that swan, that sunbeam, that thunderbolt! I might never have heard that enchanting sound or smelled that irresistible smell! I owe it all to you, my best friend!”
The Rat turned from him in despair. “You see what it is?” he said to the Mole, addressing him across Toad’s head: “He’s quite hopeless. I give it up—when we get to the town we’ll go to the railway station, and with luck we may pick up a train there that’ll get us back to riverbank to-night. And if ever you catch me going a-pleasuring with this provoking animal again!”—He snorted, and during the rest of that weary trudge addressed his remarks exclusively to Mole.
The Rat turned away from him in frustration. “Do you see what I mean?” he said to the Mole, speaking over Toad’s head: “He’s totally hopeless. I’m done—when we reach the town, let’s head to the railway station, and if we’re lucky, we might catch a train that will take us back to the riverbank tonight. And if you ever catch me going out for fun with this annoying creature again!”—He snorted, and for the rest of that tiring trek, he spoke only to Mole.
On reaching the town they went straight to the station and deposited Toad in the second-class waiting-room, giving a porter twopence to keep a strict eye on him. They then left the horse at an inn stable, and gave what directions they could about the cart and its contents. Eventually, a slow train having landed them at a station not very far from Toad Hall, they escorted the spell-bound, sleep-walking Toad to his door, put him inside it, and instructed his housekeeper to feed him, undress him, and put him to bed. Then they got out their boat from the boat-house, sculled down the river home, and at a very late hour sat down to supper in their own cosy riverside parlour, to the Rat’s great joy and contentment.
Upon arriving in town, they headed straight to the station and placed Toad in the second-class waiting room, giving a porter two pence to keep a close watch on him. They then left the horse at an inn's stable and provided whatever instructions they could about the cart and its contents. Eventually, after a slow train brought them to a station not far from Toad Hall, they escorted the dazed, sleep-walking Toad to his front door, helped him inside, and told his housekeeper to feed him, undress him, and put him to bed. After that, they took their boat out from the boathouse, rowed down the river home, and at a very late hour, sat down to supper in their cozy riverside parlor, much to the Rat’s delight and satisfaction.
The following evening the Mole, who had risen late and taken things very easy all day, was sitting on the bank fishing, when the Rat, who had been looking up his friends and gossiping, came strolling along to find him. “Heard the news?” he said. “There’s nothing else being talked about, all along the river bank. Toad went up to Town by an early train this morning. And he has ordered a large and very expensive motor-car.”
The next evening, the Mole, who had slept in and taken it easy all day, was sitting by the bank fishing when the Rat, who had been catching up with friends and chatting, strolled over to find him. “Did you hear the news?” he said. “It’s all anyone's talking about along the riverbank. Toad took an early train to Town this morning. And he ordered a big, expensive motor car.”
III.
THE WILD WOOD
The Mole had long wanted to make the acquaintance of the Badger. He seemed, by all accounts, to be such an important personage and, though rarely visible, to make his unseen influence felt by everybody about the place. But whenever the Mole mentioned his wish to the Water Rat he always found himself put off. “It’s all right,” the Rat would say. “Badger’ll turn up some day or other—he’s always turning up—and then I’ll introduce you. The best of fellows! But you must not only take him as you find him, but when you find him.”
The Mole had wanted to meet the Badger for a long time. He seemed to be such an important figure, and even though he was rarely seen, his presence was felt by everyone around. But whenever the Mole brought up his desire to the Water Rat, he always found himself being brushed off. “It’s fine,” the Rat would say. “Badger will show up eventually—he always does—and then I’ll introduce you. Great guy! But you have to take him not just as you find him, but also when you find him.”
“Couldn’t you ask him here dinner or something?” said the Mole.
“Couldn’t you invite him to dinner or something?” said the Mole.
“He wouldn’t come,” replied the Rat simply. “Badger hates Society, and invitations, and dinner, and all that sort of thing.”
“He’s not coming,” the Rat said straightforwardly. “Badger hates Society, and invitations, and dinner, and all that kind of stuff.”
“Well, then, supposing we go and call on him?” suggested the Mole.
“Well, then, how about we go and pay him a visit?” suggested the Mole.
“O, I’m sure he wouldn’t like that at all,” said the Rat, quite alarmed. “He’s so very shy, he’d be sure to be offended. I’ve never even ventured to call on him at his own home myself, though I know him so well. Besides, we can’t. It’s quite out of the question, because he lives in the very middle of the Wild Wood.”
“O, I’m sure he wouldn’t like that at all,” said the Rat, looking quite worried. “He’s really shy, and he’d definitely be offended. I’ve never even dared to visit him at his house, even though I know him so well. Besides, we can’t. It’s totally out of the question because he lives right in the middle of the Wild Wood.”
“Well, supposing he does,” said the Mole. “You told me the Wild Wood was all right, you know.”
“Well, what if he does?” said the Mole. “You said the Wild Wood was fine, remember?”
“O, I know, I know, so it is,” replied the Rat evasively. “But I think we won’t go there just now. Not just yet. It’s a long way, and he wouldn’t be at home at this time of year anyhow, and he’ll be coming along some day, if you’ll wait quietly.”
“O, I know, I know, that's true,” replied the Rat evasively. “But I think we shouldn’t go there right now. Not just yet. It’s a long way, and he wouldn’t be home at this time of year anyway, and he’ll be coming by someday if you wait quietly.”
The Mole had to be content with this. But the Badger never came along, and every day brought its amusements, and it was not till summer was long over, and cold and frost and miry ways kept them much indoors, and the swollen river raced past outside their windows with a speed that mocked at boating of any sort or kind, that he found his thoughts dwelling again with much persistence on the solitary grey Badger, who lived his own life by himself, in his hole in the middle of the Wild Wood.
The Mole had to accept this. But the Badger never showed up, and every day brought its own fun. It wasn’t until summer was well over, and the cold, frost, and muddy paths kept them indoors a lot, and the swollen river rushed by outside their windows at a speed that made any kind of boating impossible, that he found himself thinking again and again about the solitary gray Badger, who lived alone in his burrow in the middle of the Wild Wood.
In the winter time the Rat slept a great deal, retiring early and rising late. During his short day he sometimes scribbled poetry or did other small domestic jobs about the house; and, of course, there were always animals dropping in for a chat, and consequently there was a good deal of story-telling and comparing notes on the past summer and all its doings.
In the winter, the Rat slept a lot, going to bed early and getting up late. During his short days, he sometimes wrote poetry or did a few small chores around the house; and, of course, there were always animals stopping by for a chat, leading to a lot of storytelling and sharing memories about the past summer and all its happenings.
Such a rich chapter it had been, when one came to look back on it all! With illustrations so numerous and so very highly coloured! The pageant of the river bank had marched steadily along, unfolding itself in scene-pictures that succeeded each other in stately procession. Purple loosestrife arrived early, shaking luxuriant tangled locks along the edge of the mirror whence its own face laughed back at it. Willow-herb, tender and wistful, like a pink sunset cloud, was not slow to follow. Comfrey, the purple hand-in-hand with the white, crept forth to take its place in the line; and at last one morning the diffident and delaying dog-rose stepped delicately on the stage, and one knew, as if string-music had announced it in stately chords that strayed into a gavotte, that June at last was here. One member of the company was still awaited; the shepherd-boy for the nymphs to woo, the knight for whom the ladies waited at the window, the prince that was to kiss the sleeping summer back to life and love. But when meadow-sweet, debonair and odorous in amber jerkin, moved graciously to his place in the group, then the play was ready to begin.
What a rich chapter it had been when you looked back on it all! With so many illustrations and such vibrant colors! The scene along the riverbank unfolded like a parade of pictures that followed each other in a grand procession. Purple loosestrife arrived early, with its lush, tangled strands hanging over the mirror-like water, where its own reflection smiled back. Then came willow-herb, soft and dreamy, like a pink sunset cloud. Comfrey, with its purple blooms beside the white ones, joined in next; and finally, one morning, the shy and hesitant dog-rose stepped onto the scene, and you knew, as if the sound of strings had announced it in dignified chords that flowed into a graceful dance, that June had finally arrived. One member of the group was still awaited; the shepherd-boy for the nymphs to court, the knight for whom the ladies waited at the window, the prince meant to awaken the sleeping summer back to life and love. But when meadow-sweet, charming and fragrant in an amber outfit, gracefully took his place in the group, the show was ready to begin.
And what a play it had been! Drowsy animals, snug in their holes while wind and rain were battering at their doors, recalled still keen mornings, an hour before sunrise, when the white mist, as yet undispersed, clung closely along the surface of the water; then the shock of the early plunge, the scamper along the bank, and the radiant transformation of earth, air, and water, when suddenly the sun was with them again, and grey was gold and colour was born and sprang out of the earth once more. They recalled the languorous siesta of hot mid-day, deep in green undergrowth, the sun striking through in tiny golden shafts and spots; the boating and bathing of the afternoon, the rambles along dusty lanes and through yellow cornfields; and the long, cool evening at last, when so many threads were gathered up, so many friendships rounded, and so many adventures planned for the morrow. There was plenty to talk about on those short winter days when the animals found themselves round the fire; still, the Mole had a good deal of spare time on his hands, and so one afternoon, when the Rat in his arm-chair before the blaze was alternately dozing and trying over rhymes that wouldn’t fit, he formed the resolution to go out by himself and explore the Wild Wood, and perhaps strike up an acquaintance with Mr. Badger.
And what a play it had been! Sleepy animals, cozy in their homes while the wind and rain pounded at their doors, recalled sharp mornings, an hour before sunrise, when the white mist, still hanging on, clung tightly to the surface of the water; then the jolt of the early plunge, the quick dash along the bank, and the bright transformation of earth, air, and water when suddenly the sun returned, turning grey into gold and bringing color back to life. They remembered the lazy midday nap in the deep green underbrush, with the sun filtering through in small golden beams; the boating and swimming in the afternoon, the strolls along dusty paths and through golden cornfields; and finally the long, cool evening, when so many connections were made, so many friendships were deepened, and so many adventures planned for the next day. There was plenty to chat about on those short winter days when the animals gathered around the fire; still, the Mole had a lot of free time on his hands, and so one afternoon, while the Rat in his armchair by the fire was half-dozing and half-trying to come up with rhymes that just wouldn’t fit, he decided to go out by himself and explore the Wild Wood, hoping to meet Mr. Badger.
It was a cold still afternoon with a hard steely sky overhead, when he slipped out of the warm parlour into the open air. The country lay bare and entirely leafless around him, and he thought that he had never seen so far and so intimately into the insides of things as on that winter day when Nature was deep in her annual slumber and seemed to have kicked the clothes off. Copses, dells, quarries and all hidden places, which had been mysterious mines for exploration in leafy summer, now exposed themselves and their secrets pathetically, and seemed to ask him to overlook their shabby poverty for a while, till they could riot in rich masquerade as before, and trick and entice him with the old deceptions. It was pitiful in a way, and yet cheering—even exhilarating. He was glad that he liked the country undecorated, hard, and stripped of its finery. He had got down to the bare bones of it, and they were fine and strong and simple. He did not want the warm clover and the play of seeding grasses; the screens of quickset, the billowy drapery of beech and elm seemed best away; and with great cheerfulness of spirit he pushed on towards the Wild Wood, which lay before him low and threatening, like a black reef in some still southern sea.
It was a cold, still afternoon with a hard, gray sky overhead when he stepped out of the warm living room into the open air. The countryside was bare and completely leafless around him, and he thought that he had never seen so deeply and intimately into the essence of things as on that winter day when Nature was deep in her annual slumber and seemed to have shed her coverings. The woods, valleys, quarries, and all the hidden spots that had been mysterious sites for exploration during the leafy summer now revealed themselves and their secrets in a vulnerable way, as if asking him to overlook their shabby state for a bit, until they could once again dazzle him with their rich disguises and tempt him with the familiar deceptions. It was a bit sad, yet also uplifting—even exhilarating. He was glad that he appreciated the countryside in its undressed, hard state, stripped of its fancy. He had gotten down to its bare essence, and it was strong and simple. He didn't want the warm clover and the play of swaying grasses; the tangled shrubs and the fluffy drapes of beech and elm seemed best left aside; and with a great sense of cheer, he moved towards the Wild Wood, which lay ahead like a dark reef in a calm southern sea.
There was nothing to alarm him at first entry. Twigs crackled under his feet, logs tripped him, funguses on stumps resembled caricatures, and startled him for the moment by their likeness to something familiar and far away; but that was all fun, and exciting. It led him on, and he penetrated to where the light was less, and trees crouched nearer and nearer, and holes made ugly mouths at him on either side.
There was nothing to worry him when he first walked in. Twigs snapped under his feet, logs stumbled him, and fungi on stumps looked like funny faces, which briefly startled him with their resemblance to something familiar from far away; but that was all entertaining and thrilling. It drew him in, and he moved deeper where the light faded, and the trees loomed closer, with gaps that gaped at him on either side.
Everything was very still now. The dusk advanced on him steadily, rapidly, gathering in behind and before; and the light seemed to be draining away like flood-water.
Everything was really quiet now. Dusk was steadily moving in on him, quickly gathering both behind and in front; and the light felt like it was draining away like floodwater.
Then the faces began.
Then the faces started appearing.
It was over his shoulder, and indistinctly, that he first thought he saw a face; a little evil wedge-shaped face, looking out at him from a hole. When he turned and confronted it, the thing had vanished.
It was over his shoulder, and vaguely, that he first thought he saw a face; a small, wicked, wedge-shaped face peering out from a hole. When he turned to confront it, the thing had disappeared.
He quickened his pace, telling himself cheerfully not to begin imagining things, or there would be simply no end to it. He passed another hole, and another, and another; and then—yes!—no!—yes! certainly a little narrow face, with hard eyes, had flashed up for an instant from a hole, and was gone. He hesitated—braced himself up for an effort and strode on. Then suddenly, and as if it had been so all the time, every hole, far and near, and there were hundreds of them, seemed to possess its face, coming and going rapidly, all fixing on him glances of malice and hatred: all hard-eyed and evil and sharp.
He picked up the pace, reminding himself cheerfully not to start imagining things, or it would never end. He passed another hole, and another, and another; and then—yes!—no!—yes! definitely a small narrow face with cold eyes had flashed up for a moment from a hole, and was gone. He hesitated—steeled himself for a push and moved on. Then suddenly, as if it had always been this way, every hole, near and far, and there were hundreds of them, seemed to have a face, appearing and disappearing quickly, all directing looks of malice and hatred at him: all cold-eyed and evil and sharp.
If he could only get away from the holes in the banks, he thought, there would be no more faces. He swung off the path and plunged into the untrodden places of the wood.
If he could just escape the gaps in the banks, he thought, there wouldn't be any more faces. He stepped off the path and dove into the uncharted areas of the forest.
Then the whistling began.
Then the whistling started.
Very faint and shrill it was, and far behind him, when first he heard it; but somehow it made him hurry forward. Then, still very faint and shrill, it sounded far ahead of him, and made him hesitate and want to go back. As he halted in indecision it broke out on either side, and seemed to be caught up and passed on throughout the whole length of the wood to its farthest limit. They were up and alert and ready, evidently, whoever they were! And he—he was alone, and unarmed, and far from any help; and the night was closing in.
Very faint and high-pitched it was, and far behind him when he first heard it; but somehow it made him rush forward. Then, still very faint and high-pitched, it sounded far ahead of him, making him hesitate and want to turn back. As he stood there unsure, it broke out on either side, and seemed to be picked up and echoed throughout the entire length of the woods to its farthest edge. They were up and alert and ready, whoever they were! And he—he was alone, unarmed, and far from any help; and the night was closing in.
Then the pattering began.
Then the rain started.
He thought it was only falling leaves at first, so slight and delicate was the sound of it. Then as it grew it took a regular rhythm, and he knew it for nothing else but the pat-pat-pat of little feet still a very long way off. Was it in front or behind? It seemed to be first one, and then the other, then both. It grew and it multiplied, till from every quarter as he listened anxiously, leaning this way and that, it seemed to be closing in on him. As he stood still to hearken, a rabbit came running hard towards him through the trees. He waited, expecting it to slacken pace, or to swerve from him into a different course. Instead, the animal almost brushed him as it dashed past, his face set and hard, his eyes staring. “Get out of this, you fool, get out!” the Mole heard him mutter as he swung round a stump and disappeared down a friendly burrow.
He initially thought it was just the sound of falling leaves, so soft and gentle. But as it grew louder, it established a steady rhythm, and he realized it was nothing but the pat-pat-pat of little feet coming from a long distance away. Was it in front of him or behind? It seemed to switch between the two, then it felt like it was coming from all sides. It intensified and multiplied until, as he listened anxiously, leaning this way and that, it felt like it was closing in on him. As he stood still to listen, a rabbit came running toward him through the trees. He expected it to slow down or veer away, but instead, the animal almost brushed against him as it sprinted past, its face tense and eyes wide. “Get out of here, you idiot, get out!” the Mole heard it mutter as it rounded a stump and disappeared into a burrow.
The pattering increased till it sounded like sudden hail on the dry leaf-carpet spread around him. The whole wood seemed running now, running hard, hunting, chasing, closing in round something or—somebody? In panic, he began to run too, aimlessly, he knew not whither. He ran up against things, he fell over things and into things, he darted under things and dodged round things. At last he took refuge in the deep dark hollow of an old beech tree, which offered shelter, concealment—perhaps even safety, but who could tell? Anyhow, he was too tired to run any further, and could only snuggle down into the dry leaves which had drifted into the hollow and hope he was safe for a time. And as he lay there panting and trembling, and listened to the whistlings and the patterings outside, he knew it at last, in all its fullness, that dread thing which other little dwellers in field and hedgerow had encountered here, and known as their darkest moment—that thing which the Rat had vainly tried to shield him from—the Terror of the Wild Wood!
The pattering got louder until it sounded like sudden hail hitting the dry leaves spread around him. The whole woods felt alive, moving fast, hunting, closing in on something or—someone? In a panic, he started to run too, without knowing where. He bumped into things, tripped over things, fell into things, ducked under things, and dodged around things. Eventually, he found refuge in the deep, dark hollow of an old beech tree, which offered shelter, concealment—maybe even safety, but who could say? Anyway, he was too tired to run any further, so he curled up in the dry leaves that had blown into the hollow, hoping he was safe for a while. As he lay there, panting and shaking, listening to the whistling and pattering outside, he finally understood, in all its intensity, that terrible thing that other little creatures in the fields and hedgerows had faced here, their darkest moment—that thing the Rat had tried so hard to protect him from—the Terror of the Wild Wood!
Meantime the Rat, warm and comfortable, dozed by his fireside. His paper of half-finished verses slipped from his knee, his head fell back, his mouth opened, and he wandered by the verdant banks of dream-rivers. Then a coal slipped, the fire crackled and sent up a spurt of flame, and he woke with a start. Remembering what he had been engaged upon, he reached down to the floor for his verses, pored over them for a minute, and then looked round for the Mole to ask him if he knew a good rhyme for something or other.
Meanwhile, the Rat, warm and cozy, napped by the fireplace. His half-finished poem slipped from his lap, his head fell back, his mouth opened, and he drifted off to the lush shores of dream-rivers. Then a coal shifted, the fire crackled and sent up a burst of flame, waking him suddenly. Remembering what he had been working on, he leaned down to the floor for his poem, studied it for a minute, and then looked around for the Mole to see if he knew a good rhyme for something or another.
But the Mole was not there.
But the Mole wasn't around.
He listened for a time. The house seemed very quiet.
He listened for a while. The house felt really quiet.
Then he called “Moly!” several times, and, receiving no answer, got up and went out into the hall.
Then he called, "Moly!" several times, and when he got no reply, he stood up and went out into the hallway.
The Mole’s cap was missing from its accustomed peg. His goloshes, which always lay by the umbrella-stand, were also gone.
The Mole’s hat was missing from its usual hook. His galoshes, which always sat by the umbrella stand, were also gone.
The Rat left the house, and carefully examined the muddy surface of the ground outside, hoping to find the Mole’s tracks. There they were, sure enough. The goloshes were new, just bought for the winter, and the pimples on their soles were fresh and sharp. He could see the imprints of them in the mud, running along straight and purposeful, leading direct to the Wild Wood.
The Rat left the house and carefully looked at the muddy ground outside, hoping to spot the Mole’s tracks. There they were, just as he expected. The galoshes were new, just bought for winter, and the bumps on the soles were fresh and sharp. He could see their imprints in the mud, moving straight and with purpose, leading directly to the Wild Wood.
The Rat looked very grave, and stood in deep thought for a minute or two. Then he re-entered the house, strapped a belt round his waist, shoved a brace of pistols into it, took up a stout cudgel that stood in a corner of the hall, and set off for the Wild Wood at a smart pace.
The Rat looked really serious and stood lost in thought for a minute or two. Then he went back inside the house, strapped a belt around his waist, tucked a couple of pistols into it, grabbed a sturdy stick that was in the corner of the hall, and headed off to the Wild Wood at a brisk pace.
It was already getting towards dusk when he reached the first fringe of trees and plunged without hesitation into the wood, looking anxiously on either side for any sign of his friend. Here and there wicked little faces popped out of holes, but vanished immediately at sight of the valorous animal, his pistols, and the great ugly cudgel in his grasp; and the whistling and pattering, which he had heard quite plainly on his first entry, died away and ceased, and all was very still. He made his way manfully through the length of the wood, to its furthest edge; then, forsaking all paths, he set himself to traverse it, laboriously working over the whole ground, and all the time calling out cheerfully, “Moly, Moly, Moly! Where are you? It’s me—it’s old Rat!”
It was already getting toward evening when he reached the first line of trees and confidently stepped into the woods, anxiously looking around for any sign of his friend. Here and there, mischievous little faces peeked out from holes but quickly disappeared at the sight of the brave animal, his pistols, and the large, ugly club in his hand; the whistling and scurrying noises he had heard clearly when he first entered faded away and stopped, leaving everything very quiet. He pushed through the woods toward the far edge, then, leaving all paths behind, he set out to search every inch of it, diligently covering the entire area, all the while calling out cheerfully, “Moly, Moly, Moly! Where are you? It’s me—it’s old Rat!”
He had patiently hunted through the wood for an hour or more, when at last to his joy he heard a little answering cry. Guiding himself by the sound, he made his way through the gathering darkness to the foot of an old beech tree, with a hole in it, and from out of the hole came a feeble voice, saying “Ratty! Is that really you?”
He had patiently searched the woods for an hour or more when, to his delight, he finally heard a faint cry in response. Following the sound, he navigated through the encroaching darkness to the base of an old beech tree, which had a hole in it. From inside the hole, a weak voice called out, "Ratty! Is that really you?"
The Rat crept into the hollow, and there he found the Mole, exhausted and still trembling. “O Rat!” he cried, “I’ve been so frightened, you can’t think!”
The Rat sneaked into the hollow and found the Mole, worn out and still shaking. “Oh Rat!” he exclaimed, “I’ve been so scared, you can’t even imagine!”
“O, I quite understand,” said the Rat soothingly. “You shouldn’t really have gone and done it, Mole. I did my best to keep you from it. We river-bankers, we hardly ever come here by ourselves. If we have to come, we come in couples, at least; then we’re generally all right. Besides, there are a hundred things one has to know, which we understand all about and you don’t, as yet. I mean passwords, and signs, and sayings which have power and effect, and plants you carry in your pocket, and verses you repeat, and dodges and tricks you practise; all simple enough when you know them, but they’ve got to be known if you’re small, or you’ll find yourself in trouble. Of course if you were Badger or Otter, it would be quite another matter.”
“Oh, I totally get it,” said the Rat gently. “You really shouldn’t have gone and done that, Mole. I did my best to keep you from it. Us riverbank folks, we hardly ever come here alone. If we have to come, we usually come in pairs; then we’re generally okay. Besides, there are a ton of things you need to know that we understand and you don’t yet. I mean passwords, signs, phrases that have power and meaning, plants you carry in your pocket, verses you recite, and tricks you practice; all pretty straightforward once you know them, but you’ve got to know them if you’re small, or you’ll end up in trouble. Of course, if you were Badger or Otter, it would be a whole different story.”
“Surely the brave Mr. Toad wouldn’t mind coming here by himself, would he?” inquired the Mole.
“Surely the brave Mr. Toad wouldn’t mind coming here on his own, would he?” asked the Mole.
“Old Toad?” said the Rat, laughing heartily. “He wouldn’t show his face here alone, not for a whole hatful of golden guineas, Toad wouldn’t.”
“Old Toad?” said the Rat, laughing loudly. “He wouldn’t dare come here by himself, not for a whole pile of golden guineas, Toad wouldn’t.”
The Mole was greatly cheered by the sound of the Rat’s careless laughter, as well as by the sight of his stick and his gleaming pistols, and he stopped shivering and began to feel bolder and more himself again.
The Mole was really encouraged by the sound of the Rat’s carefree laughter, along with the sight of his stick and shiny pistols. He stopped shaking and started to feel braver and more like himself again.
“Now then,” said the Rat presently, “we really must pull ourselves together and make a start for home while there’s still a little light left. It will never do to spend the night here, you understand. Too cold, for one thing.”
“Okay then,” the Rat said after a moment, “we really need to get it together and head home while there’s still some light left. We can’t spend the night here, you know. It’s too cold, for one thing.”
“Dear Ratty,” said the poor Mole, “I’m dreadfully sorry, but I’m simply dead beat and that’s a solid fact. You must let me rest here a while longer, and get my strength back, if I’m to get home at all.”
“Dear Ratty,” said the exhausted Mole, “I’m really sorry, but I’m completely worn out, and that’s the truth. You have to let me rest here a bit longer and regain my strength if I’m going to make it home at all.”
“O, all right,” said the good-natured Rat, “rest away. It’s pretty nearly pitch dark now, anyhow; and there ought to be a bit of a moon later.”
“Oh, fine,” said the easygoing Rat, “go ahead and rest. It’s almost completely dark now anyway, and there should be a little moon later.”
So the Mole got well into the dry leaves and stretched himself out, and presently dropped off into sleep, though of a broken and troubled sort; while the Rat covered himself up, too, as best he might, for warmth, and lay patiently waiting, with a pistol in his paw.
So the Mole settled into the dry leaves and stretched out, eventually drifting off to sleep, though it was fitful and restless; meanwhile, the Rat bundled himself up as best he could to stay warm and lay there patiently waiting, with a pistol in his hand.
When at last the Mole woke up, much refreshed and in his usual spirits, the Rat said, “Now then! I’ll just take a look outside and see if everything’s quiet, and then we really must be off.”
When the Mole finally woke up, feeling refreshed and back to his usual self, the Rat said, “Alright! I’ll just check outside to see if everything’s calm, and then we really have to get going.”
He went to the entrance of their retreat and put his head out. Then the Mole heard him saying quietly to himself, “Hullo! hullo! here—is—a—go!”
He went to the entrance of their retreat and stuck his head out. Then the Mole heard him muttering quietly to himself, “Hey! hey! here—is—a—go!”
“What’s up, Ratty?” asked the Mole.
“What’s up, Ratty?” asked the Mole.
“Snow is up,” replied the Rat briefly; “or rather, down. It’s snowing hard.”
Snow is up," the Rat replied shortly; "or actually, down. It's really coming down out there."
The Mole came and crouched beside him, and, looking out, saw the wood that had been so dreadful to him in quite a changed aspect. Holes, hollows, pools, pitfalls, and other black menaces to the wayfarer were vanishing fast, and a gleaming carpet of faery was springing up everywhere, that looked too delicate to be trodden upon by rough feet. A fine powder filled the air and caressed the cheek with a tingle in its touch, and the black boles of the trees showed up in a light that seemed to come from below.
The Mole came over and crouched beside him. Looking out, he saw the woods that had once scared him now appeared completely different. Holes, hollows, pools, pitfalls, and other dark threats to travelers were quickly disappearing, replaced by a shimmering, magical carpet that seemed too delicate for harsh feet to step on. A fine powder filled the air, gently brushing against his cheek with a tingle, and the dark trunks of the trees stood out in a light that seemed to come from below.
“Well, well, it can’t be helped,” said the Rat, after pondering. “We must make a start, and take our chance, I suppose. The worst of it is, I don’t exactly know where we are. And now this snow makes everything look so very different.”
“Well, it can't be helped,” said the Rat, thinking it over. “We have to get started and take our chances, I guess. The worst part is, I don’t really know where we are. And now this snow makes everything look so different.”
It did indeed. The Mole would not have known that it was the same wood. However, they set out bravely, and took the line that seemed most promising, holding on to each other and pretending with invincible cheerfulness that they recognized an old friend in every fresh tree that grimly and silently greeted them, or saw openings, gaps, or paths with a familiar turn in them, in the monotony of white space and black tree-trunks that refused to vary.
It really did. The Mole wouldn’t have realized it was the same woods. However, they set out boldly and followed the route that looked the most promising, holding on to each other and acting with unwavering cheerfulness as if they recognized an old friend in every new tree that coldly and silently welcomed them, or saw openings, gaps, or paths with a familiar curve in the endless white space and black tree trunks that wouldn’t change.
An hour or two later—they had lost all count of time—they pulled up, dispirited, weary, and hopelessly at sea, and sat down on a fallen tree-trunk to recover their breath and consider what was to be done. They were aching with fatigue and bruised with tumbles; they had fallen into several holes and got wet through; the snow was getting so deep that they could hardly drag their little legs through it, and the trees were thicker and more like each other than ever. There seemed to be no end to this wood, and no beginning, and no difference in it, and, worst of all, no way out.
An hour or two later—they had lost all track of time—they stopped, feeling defeated, exhausted, and completely lost, and sat down on a fallen tree trunk to catch their breath and think about what to do next. They were aching all over from fatigue and bruised from falls; they had stumbled into several holes and got soaked; the snow was getting so deep that they could barely drag their little legs through it, and the trees looked thicker and more alike than ever. It seemed like there was no end to this forest, no beginning, no difference in it, and, worst of all, no way out.
“We can’t sit here very long,” said the Rat. “We shall have to make another push for it, and do something or other. The cold is too awful for anything, and the snow will soon be too deep for us to wade through.” He peered about him and considered. “Look here,” he went on, “this is what occurs to me. There’s a sort of dell down here in front of us, where the ground seems all hilly and humpy and hummocky. We’ll make our way down into that, and try and find some sort of shelter, a cave or hole with a dry floor to it, out of the snow and the wind, and there we’ll have a good rest before we try again, for we’re both of us pretty dead beat. Besides, the snow may leave off, or something may turn up.”
“We can’t stay here much longer,” said the Rat. “We’ll have to make another effort and do something. The cold is too unbearable, and the snow will soon be too deep for us to walk through.” He looked around and thought for a moment. “Here’s an idea,” he continued, “there’s a kind of hollow in front of us where the ground looks all uneven and bumpy. Let’s head down there and see if we can find some kind of shelter, like a cave or a hole with a dry floor, away from the snow and the wind. We can rest there for a bit before we try again because we’re both pretty worn out. Besides, the snow might let up, or something might come up.”
So once more they got on their feet, and struggled down into the dell, where they hunted about for a cave or some corner that was dry and a protection from the keen wind and the whirling snow. They were investigating one of the hummocky bits the Rat had spoken of, when suddenly the Mole tripped up and fell forward on his face with a squeal.
So once again they got up and made their way down into the valley, searching for a cave or any dry spot that would shield them from the biting wind and swirling snow. They were examining one of the lumpy areas the Rat had mentioned when, all of a sudden, the Mole tripped and fell face-first with a squeal.
“O my leg!” he cried. “O my poor shin!” and he sat up on the snow and nursed his leg in both his front paws.
“Ouch, my leg!” he exclaimed. “Oh, my poor shin!” and he sat up in the snow, cradling his leg with both his front paws.
“Poor old Mole!” said the Rat kindly.
“Poor old Mole!” the Rat said kindly.
“You don’t seem to be having much luck to-day, do you? Let’s have a look at the leg. Yes,” he went on, going down on his knees to look, “you’ve cut your shin, sure enough. Wait till I get at my handkerchief, and I’ll tie it up for you.”
“You don’t seem to be having much luck today, do you? Let’s take a look at your leg. Yeah,” he continued, kneeling down to inspect it, “you’ve cut your shin, that’s for sure. Hang on while I grab my handkerchief, and I’ll wrap it up for you.”
“I must have tripped over a hidden branch or a stump,” said the Mole miserably. “O, my! O, my!”
“I must have tripped over a hidden branch or a stump,” said the Mole sadly. “Oh no! Oh no!”
“It’s a very clean cut,” said the Rat, examining it again attentively. “That was never done by a branch or a stump. Looks as if it was made by a sharp edge of something in metal. Funny!” He pondered awhile, and examined the humps and slopes that surrounded them.
“It’s a really clean cut,” said the Rat, looking at it closely again. “That wasn’t made by a branch or a stump. It looks like something sharp and metal did this. Strange!” He thought for a moment and looked at the hills and slopes around them.
“Well, never mind what done it,” said the Mole, forgetting his grammar in his pain. “It hurts just the same, whatever done it.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter what caused it,” said the Mole, forgetting his grammar in his pain. “It hurts just the same, no matter what caused it.”
But the Rat, after carefully tying up the leg with his handkerchief, had left him and was busy scraping in the snow. He scratched and shovelled and explored, all four legs working busily, while the Mole waited impatiently, remarking at intervals, “O, come on, Rat!”
But the Rat, after carefully tying up the leg with his handkerchief, left him and got busy scraping in the snow. He scratched, shoveled, and explored, all four legs working hard, while the Mole waited impatiently, saying from time to time, “Oh, come on, Rat!”
Suddenly the Rat cried “Hooray!” and then “Hooray-oo-ray-oo-ray-oo-ray!” and fell to executing a feeble jig in the snow.
Suddenly the Rat yelled, “Hooray!” and then “Hooray-oo-ray-oo-ray-oo-ray!” and began to do a weak jig in the snow.
“What have you found, Ratty?” asked the Mole, still nursing his leg.
“What have you found, Ratty?” asked the Mole, still tending to his leg.
“Come and see!” said the delighted Rat, as he jigged on.
“Come and see!” said the excited Rat, as he danced around.
The Mole hobbled up to the spot and had a good look.
The Mole limped over to the spot and took a good look.
“Well,” he said at last, slowly, “I SEE it right enough. Seen the same sort of thing before, lots of times. Familiar object, I call it. A door-scraper! Well, what of it? Why dance jigs around a door-scraper?”
“Well,” he finally said, slowly, “I see it clearly enough. I've seen the same kind of thing before, many times. I’d call it a familiar object. A door-scraper! So what? Why celebrate around a door-scraper?”
“But don’t you see what it means, you—you dull-witted animal?” cried the Rat impatiently.
“But don’t you see what it means, you—you clueless idiot?” yelled the Rat impatiently.
“Of course I see what it means,” replied the Mole. “It simply means that some VERY careless and forgetful person has left his door-scraper lying about in the middle of the Wild Wood, just where it’s sure to trip everybody up. Very thoughtless of him, I call it. When I get home I shall go and complain about it to—to somebody or other, see if I don’t!”
“Of course I see what it means,” replied the Mole. “It just means that some REALLY careless and forgetful person has left his doormat lying in the middle of the Wild Wood, right where it’s definitely going to trip everyone up. Very thoughtless of him, I’d say. When I get home, I’m going to go complain about it to—to someone, just watch!”
“O, dear! O, dear!” cried the Rat, in despair at his obtuseness. “Here, stop arguing and come and scrape!” And he set to work again and made the snow fly in all directions around him.
“O, man! O, man!” cried the Rat, frustrated by his cluelessness. “Enough arguing, just come and help!” And he got back to work, sending snow flying in all directions around him.
After some further toil his efforts were rewarded, and a very shabby door-mat lay exposed to view.
After some more work, his efforts paid off, and a very worn-out doormat was revealed.
“There, what did I tell you?” exclaimed the Rat in great triumph.
“There, what did I tell you?” the Rat exclaimed triumphantly.
“Absolutely nothing whatever,” replied the Mole, with perfect truthfulness. “Well now,” he went on, “you seem to have found another piece of domestic litter, done for and thrown away, and I suppose you’re perfectly happy. Better go ahead and dance your jig round that if you’ve got to, and get it over, and then perhaps we can go on and not waste any more time over rubbish-heaps. Can we EAT a doormat? or sleep under a door-mat? Or sit on a door-mat and sledge home over the snow on it, you exasperating rodent?”
“Absolutely nothing at all,” replied the Mole, honestly. “Well now,” he continued, “it looks like you’ve found another piece of trash, used up and tossed aside, and I guess you’re really happy about it. You might as well dance your little jig around that if you have to, get it out of your system, and then maybe we can move on and not waste any more time over junk piles. Can we EAT a doormat? Or sleep on a doormat? Or sit on a doormat and slide home over the snow on it, you infuriating rodent?”
“Do—you—mean—to—say,” cried the excited Rat, “that this door-mat doesn’t tell you anything?”
“Do—you—mean—to—say,” cried the excited Rat, “that this door-mat doesn’t tell you anything?”
“Really, Rat,” said the Mole, quite pettishly, “I think we’d had enough of this folly. Who ever heard of a door-mat telling anyone anything? They simply don’t do it. They are not that sort at all. Door-mats know their place.”
“Honestly, Rat,” said the Mole, a bit annoyed, “I think we’ve had enough of this nonsense. Who ever heard of a doormat talking to anyone? They just don’t do that. They’re not like that at all. Doormats know their role.”
“Now look here, you—you thick-headed beast,” replied the Rat, really angry, “this must stop. Not another word, but scrape—scrape and scratch and dig and hunt round, especially on the sides of the hummocks, if you want to sleep dry and warm to-night, for it’s our last chance!”
“Listen up, you thick-headed idiot,” replied the Rat, genuinely angry. “This has to end. No more talking, just scrape—scrape and scratch and dig and search around, especially on the sides of the hills, if you want to stay dry and warm tonight, because this is our last chance!”
The Rat attacked a snow-bank beside them with ardour, probing with his cudgel everywhere and then digging with fury; and the Mole scraped busily too, more to oblige the Rat than for any other reason, for his opinion was that his friend was getting light-headed.
The Rat enthusiastically attacked a snowbank next to them, prodding with his stick everywhere and then digging furiously; and the Mole also dug busily, more to help the Rat than for any other reason, because he thought his friend was being a bit reckless.
Some ten minutes’ hard work, and the point of the Rat’s cudgel struck something that sounded hollow. He worked till he could get a paw through and feel; then called the Mole to come and help him. Hard at it went the two animals, till at last the result of their labours stood full in view of the astonished and hitherto incredulous Mole.
Some ten minutes of hard work, and the end of the Rat’s club hit something that sounded hollow. He worked until he could get a paw through and feel it; then he called the Mole to come and help him. The two animals went at it hard, and finally, the result of their efforts was fully visible to the amazed and previously skeptical Mole.
In the side of what had seemed to be a snow-bank stood a solid-looking little door, painted a dark green. An iron bell-pull hung by the side, and below it, on a small brass plate, neatly engraved in square capital letters, they could read by the aid of moonlight
In what looked like a snowbank, there was a sturdy little door painted dark green. An iron bell pull was hanging beside it, and below that, on a small brass plate, neatly engraved in capital letters, they could read by the light of the moon.
MR. BADGER.
Mr. Badger.
The Mole fell backwards on the snow from sheer surprise and delight. “Rat!” he cried in penitence, “you’re a wonder! A real wonder, that’s what you are. I see it all now! You argued it out, step by step, in that wise head of yours, from the very moment that I fell and cut my shin, and you looked at the cut, and at once your majestic mind said to itself, ‘Door-scraper!’ And then you turned to and found the very door-scraper that done it! Did you stop there? No. Some people would have been quite satisfied; but not you. Your intellect went on working. ‘Let me only just find a door-mat,’ says you to yourself, ‘and my theory is proved!’ And of course you found your door-mat. You’re so clever, I believe you could find anything you liked. ‘Now,’ says you, ‘that door exists, as plain as if I saw it. There’s nothing else remains to be done but to find it!’ Well, I’ve read about that sort of thing in books, but I’ve never come across it before in real life. You ought to go where you’ll be properly appreciated. You’re simply wasted here, among us fellows. If I only had your head, Ratty——”
The Mole fell back onto the snow, overwhelmed by surprise and joy. “Rat!” he exclaimed in admiration, “you’re amazing! A real wonder, that’s what you are. I get it now! You figured it all out, step by step, in that clever head of yours, from the moment I fell and hurt my shin. You looked at the cut, and right away your brilliant mind said to itself, ‘Door-scraper!’ And then you went and found the exact door-scraper that caused it! Did you stop there? No. Some people would be content, but not you. Your mind kept working. ‘Let me just find a door-mat,’ you thought, ‘and then my theory will be proven!’ And of course, you found your door-mat. You’re so smart, I bet you could find anything you wanted. ‘Now,’ you said, ‘that door is real, as clear as if I could see it. There’s nothing left to do but find it!’ Well, I’ve read about that kind of thing in books, but I’ve never seen it happen in real life. You should be somewhere you’ll be truly appreciated. You’re totally wasting your talent here with us. If only I had your brain, Ratty——”
“But as you haven’t,” interrupted the Rat, rather unkindly, “I suppose you’re going to sit on the snow all night and talk? Get up at once and hang on to that bell-pull you see there, and ring hard, as hard as you can, while I hammer!”
“But since you haven’t,” interrupted the Rat, a bit unkindly, “I guess you’re just going to sit on the snow all night and talk? Get up right now and grab that bell-pull you see over there, and ring it as hard as you can while I do the work!”
While the Rat attacked the door with his stick, the Mole sprang up at the bell-pull, clutched it and swung there, both feet well off the ground, and from quite a long way off they could faintly hear a deep-toned bell respond.
While the Rat hit the door with his stick, the Mole jumped up at the bell-pull, grabbed it, and swung there with both feet off the ground. From quite a distance away, they could faintly hear a deep-toned bell ringing.
IV.
MR. BADGER
THEY waited patiently for what seemed a very long time, stamping in the snow to keep their feet warm. At last they heard the sound of slow shuffling footsteps approaching the door from the inside. It seemed, as the Mole remarked to the Rat, like some one walking in carpet slippers that were too large for him and down at heel; which was intelligent of Mole, because that was exactly what it was.
THEY waited patiently for what felt like a long time, stamping their feet in the snow to stay warm. Finally, they heard slow shuffling footsteps coming to the door from inside. The Mole commented to the Rat that it sounded like someone walking in oversized, worn-out slippers; which was clever of the Mole, because that was exactly what it was.
There was the noise of a bolt shot back, and the door opened a few inches, enough to show a long snout and a pair of sleepy blinking eyes.
There was the sound of a bolt being slid back, and the door opened a few inches, just enough to reveal a long snout and a pair of sleepy, blinking eyes.
“Now, the very next time this happens,” said a gruff and suspicious voice, “I shall be exceedingly angry. Who is it this time, disturbing people on such a night? Speak up!”
“Now, the very next time this happens,” said a rough and doubtful voice, “I will be really angry. Who is it this time, bothering people on a night like this? Speak up!”
“Oh, Badger,” cried the Rat, “let us in, please. It’s me, Rat, and my friend Mole, and we’ve lost our way in the snow.”
“Oh, Badger,” cried the Rat, “let us in, please. It’s me, Rat, and my friend Mole, and we’ve gotten lost in the snow.”
“What, Ratty, my dear little man!” exclaimed the Badger, in quite a different voice. “Come along in, both of you, at once. Why, you must be perished. Well I never! Lost in the snow! And in the Wild Wood, too, and at this time of night! But come in with you.”
“What, Ratty, my dear little man!” exclaimed the Badger, in a completely different tone. “Come on in, both of you, right now. You must be freezing. I can’t believe it! Lost in the snow! And in the Wild Wood, too, and at this time of night! But come inside with you.”
The two animals tumbled over each other in their eagerness to get inside, and heard the door shut behind them with great joy and relief.
The two animals rolled over each other in their excitement to get inside and heard the door close behind them with a sense of great joy and relief.
The Badger, who wore a long dressing-gown, and whose slippers were indeed very down at heel, carried a flat candlestick in his paw and had probably been on his way to bed when their summons sounded. He looked kindly down on them and patted both their heads. “This is not the sort of night for small animals to be out,” he said paternally. “I’m afraid you’ve been up to some of your pranks again, Ratty. But come along; come into the kitchen. There’s a first-rate fire there, and supper and everything.”
The Badger, wearing a long bathrobe and with his slippers definitely looking worn out, held a flat candlestick in his paw and had probably been heading to bed when they called out. He looked down at them kindly and patted both of their heads. “This isn't the kind of night for small animals to be out,” he said in a fatherly tone. “I’m afraid you’ve been getting up to your tricks again, Ratty. But come on; let’s go into the kitchen. There’s a great fire there, and supper and everything.”
He shuffled on in front of them, carrying the light, and they followed him, nudging each other in an anticipating sort of way, down a long, gloomy, and, to tell the truth, decidedly shabby passage, into a sort of a central hall; out of which they could dimly see other long tunnel-like passages branching, passages mysterious and without apparent end. But there were doors in the hall as well—stout oaken comfortable-looking doors. One of these the Badger flung open, and at once they found themselves in all the glow and warmth of a large fire-lit kitchen.
He shuffled ahead of them, carrying the light, and they followed, nudging each other with excitement, down a long, dark, and honestly quite shabby hallway, into a sort of central hall; from which they could faintly see other long, tunnel-like passages branching off, all mysterious and seemingly endless. But there were doors in the hall too—big, sturdy, inviting-looking oak doors. One of these the Badger swung open, and instantly they were enveloped in the bright glow and warmth of a large, fire-lit kitchen.
The floor was well-worn red brick, and on the wide hearth burnt a fire of logs, between two attractive chimney-corners tucked away in the wall, well out of any suspicion of draught. A couple of high-backed settles, facing each other on either side of the fire, gave further sitting accommodations for the sociably disposed. In the middle of the room stood a long table of plain boards placed on trestles, with benches down each side. At one end of it, where an arm-chair stood pushed back, were spread the remains of the Badger’s plain but ample supper. Rows of spotless plates winked from the shelves of the dresser at the far end of the room, and from the rafters overhead hung hams, bundles of dried herbs, nets of onions, and baskets of eggs. It seemed a place where heroes could fitly feast after victory, where weary harvesters could line up in scores along the table and keep their Harvest Home with mirth and song, or where two or three friends of simple tastes could sit about as they pleased and eat and smoke and talk in comfort and contentment. The ruddy brick floor smiled up at the smoky ceiling; the oaken settles, shiny with long wear, exchanged cheerful glances with each other; plates on the dresser grinned at pots on the shelf, and the merry firelight flickered and played over everything without distinction.
The floor was made of worn red bricks, and a log fire burned on the wide hearth, nestled between two stylish chimney corners built into the wall, far from any draft. A couple of high-backed benches faced each other on either side of the fire, providing extra seating for those who enjoyed company. In the middle of the room, a long table made of simple boards rested on trestles, with benches along each side. At one end, where an armchair was pushed back, lay the leftovers of the Badger's simple but generous supper. Rows of clean plates shone from the shelves of the dresser at the far end of the room, and hams, bundles of dried herbs, nets of onions, and baskets of eggs hung from the rafters above. It felt like a place where heroes could celebrate after a victory, where tired harvesters could gather in large numbers along the table to enjoy their Harvest Home with joy and song, or where a few friends could sit comfortably, eat, smoke, and chat peacefully. The warm brick floor beamed up at the smoky ceiling; the well-worn oak benches exchanged cheerful looks with one another; plates on the dresser smiled at pots on the shelf, and the lively firelight danced and flickered over everything without favor.
The kindly Badger thrust them down on a settle to toast themselves at the fire, and bade them remove their wet coats and boots. Then he fetched them dressing-gowns and slippers, and himself bathed the Mole’s shin with warm water and mended the cut with sticking-plaster till the whole thing was just as good as new, if not better. In the embracing light and warmth, warm and dry at last, with weary legs propped up in front of them, and a suggestive clink of plates being arranged on the table behind, it seemed to the storm-driven animals, now in safe anchorage, that the cold and trackless Wild Wood just left outside was miles and miles away, and all that they had suffered in it a half-forgotten dream.
The friendly Badger pushed them down onto a couch to warm up by the fire and told them to take off their wet coats and boots. Then he got them bathrobes and slippers, and he washed the Mole’s shin with warm water, fixing the cut with a bandage until it was as good as new, if not better. In the cozy light and warmth, warm and dry at last, with tired legs propped up in front of them and the sound of plates being set on the table behind, it felt to the storm-tossed animals, now safely settled, that the cold and endless Wild Wood just outside was miles away, and all they had gone through in it was a half-forgotten dream.
When at last they were thoroughly toasted, the Badger summoned them to the table, where he had been busy laying a repast. They had felt pretty hungry before, but when they actually saw at last the supper that was spread for them, really it seemed only a question of what they should attack first where all was so attractive, and whether the other things would obligingly wait for them till they had time to give them attention. Conversation was impossible for a long time; and when it was slowly resumed, it was that regrettable sort of conversation that results from talking with your mouth full. The Badger did not mind that sort of thing at all, nor did he take any notice of elbows on the table, or everybody speaking at once. As he did not go into Society himself, he had got an idea that these things belonged to the things that didn’t really matter. (We know of course that he was wrong, and took too narrow a view; because they do matter very much, though it would take too long to explain why.) He sat in his arm-chair at the head of the table, and nodded gravely at intervals as the animals told their story; and he did not seem surprised or shocked at anything, and he never said, “I told you so,” or, “Just what I always said,” or remarked that they ought to have done so-and-so, or ought not to have done something else. The Mole began to feel very friendly towards him.
When they were finally well-fed, the Badger called them to the table, where he had been busy preparing a meal. They had felt pretty hungry before, but when they saw the supper laid out for them, it was really just a question of what to dig into first with everything looking so appealing, and whether the other dishes would patiently wait for their attention. For a while, conversation was impossible; when it finally picked up again, it was the awkward kind of chatting that happens when you're eating with your mouth full. The Badger didn’t mind this at all, nor did he care about elbows on the table or everyone talking at once. Since he didn’t socialize much, he had the impression that these things weren't really important. (Of course, we know he was mistaken and had a narrow view; they do matter a lot, but it would take too long to explain why.) He sat in his armchair at the head of the table, nodding seriously now and then as the animals shared their story; he didn’t seem surprised or shocked by anything, nor did he ever say, “I told you so,” or “Just what I always said,” or suggest they should have done this or that. The Mole started to feel very fond of him.
When supper was really finished at last, and each animal felt that his skin was now as tight as was decently safe, and that by this time he didn’t care a hang for anybody or anything, they gathered round the glowing embers of the great wood fire, and thought how jolly it was to be sitting up so late, and so independent, and so full; and after they had chatted for a time about things in general, the Badger said heartily, “Now then! tell us the news from your part of the world. How’s old Toad going on?”
When dinner finally wrapped up, and each animal felt their skin was comfortably tight but not uncomfortably so, and at that point they didn’t care about anyone or anything, they gathered around the warm embers of the big campfire, enjoying how nice it was to be up this late, feeling so free, and so full. After chatting for a bit about random stuff, the Badger chimed in, “Alright! Share the news from your area. How’s old Toad doing?”
“Oh, from bad to worse,” said the Rat gravely, while the Mole, cocked up on a settle and basking in the firelight, his heels higher than his head, tried to look properly mournful. “Another smash-up only last week, and a bad one. You see, he will insist on driving himself, and he’s hopelessly incapable. If he’d only employ a decent, steady, well-trained animal, pay him good wages, and leave everything to him, he’d get on all right. But no; he’s convinced he’s a heaven-born driver, and nobody can teach him anything; and all the rest follows.”
“Oh, it just keeps getting worse,” said the Rat seriously, while the Mole, lounging comfortably by the fire with his heels up high, tried to look appropriately sad. “There was another crash just last week, and it was a bad one. You see, he insists on driving himself, and he’s totally incompetent. If he would just hire a decent, reliable, well-trained animal, pay him well, and let him handle everything, he’d be fine. But no; he’s convinced that he’s a natural-born driver, and nobody can teach him anything; and everything else stems from that.”
“How many has he had?” inquired the Badger gloomily.
“How many has he had?” the Badger asked gloomily.
“Smashes, or machines?” asked the Rat. “Oh, well, after all, it’s the same thing—with Toad. This is the seventh. As for the others—you know that coach-house of his? Well, it’s piled up—literally piled up to the roof—with fragments of motor-cars, none of them bigger than your hat! That accounts for the other six—so far as they can be accounted for.”
“Smashes or cars?” asked the Rat. “Oh, it’s pretty much the same thing with Toad. This is the seventh one. And as for the others—you know that coach house of his? It’s stacked—literally stacked to the roof—with bits of cars, none of them bigger than your hat! That explains the other six, as far as you can explain them.”
“He’s been in hospital three times,” put in the Mole; “and as for the fines he’s had to pay, it’s simply awful to think of.”
“He’s been in the hospital three times,” added the Mole; “and when it comes to the fines he’s had to pay, it’s just terrible to think about.”
“Yes, and that’s part of the trouble,” continued the Rat. “Toad’s rich, we all know; but he’s not a millionaire. And he’s a hopelessly bad driver, and quite regardless of law and order. Killed or ruined—it’s got to be one of the two things, sooner or later. Badger! we’re his friends—oughtn’t we to do something?”
“Yes, and that’s part of the problem,” the Rat continued. “Toad’s wealthy, we all know that, but he’s not a millionaire. And he’s an absolutely terrible driver, completely ignoring the rules. It’s bound to end in disaster—sooner or later, it’s either going to be a crash or something worse. Badger! We’re his friends—shouldn’t we do something?”
The Badger went through a bit of hard thinking. “Now look here!” he said at last, rather severely; “of course you know I can’t do anything now?”
The Badger paused to think hard. “Now listen!” he said finally, rather sternly; “you know I can’t do anything now?”
His two friends assented, quite understanding his point. No animal, according to the rules of animal-etiquette, is ever expected to do anything strenuous, or heroic, or even moderately active during the off-season of winter. All are sleepy—some actually asleep. All are weather-bound, more or less; and all are resting from arduous days and nights, during which every muscle in them has been severely tested, and every energy kept at full stretch.
His two friends agreed, fully understanding his point. No animal, according to the rules of animal etiquette, is expected to do anything strenuous, heroic, or even moderately active during the winter off-season. Everyone is sleepy—some are actually asleep. All are somewhat trapped by the weather, and all are taking a break from long days and nights when every muscle was put to the test and every bit of energy was pushed to the limit.
“Very well then!” continued the Badger. “But, when once the year has really turned, and the nights are shorter, and halfway through them one rouses and feels fidgety and wanting to be up and doing by sunrise, if not before—you know!——”
“Alright then!” the Badger continued. “But when the year has really shifted, and the nights are shorter, and halfway through them you wake up feeling restless and wanting to get up and start your day by sunrise, if not earlier—you know!”
Both animals nodded gravely. They knew!
Both animals nodded solemnly. They knew!
“Well, then,” went on the Badger, “we—that is, you and me and our friend the Mole here—we’ll take Toad seriously in hand. We’ll stand no nonsense whatever. We’ll bring him back to reason, by force if need be. We’ll make him be a sensible Toad. We’ll—you’re asleep, Rat!”
"Well, then,” the Badger continued, “we—that is, you, me, and our friend the Mole here—we’ll take Toad seriously. We won’t tolerate any nonsense. We’ll bring him back to his senses, even if we have to use force. We’ll make him a sensible Toad. We’ll—you’re asleep, Rat!”
“Not me!” said the Rat, waking up with a jerk.
“Not me!” said the Rat, waking up suddenly.
“He’s been asleep two or three times since supper,” said the Mole, laughing. He himself was feeling quite wakeful and even lively, though he didn’t know why. The reason was, of course, that he being naturally an underground animal by birth and breeding, the situation of Badger’s house exactly suited him and made him feel at home; while the Rat, who slept every night in a bedroom the windows of which opened on a breezy river, naturally felt the atmosphere still and oppressive.
“He's dozed off two or three times since dinner,” said the Mole, laughing. He was feeling surprisingly alert and even energetic, though he wasn’t sure why. The reason was, of course, that being an underground creature by nature, the layout of Badger’s house felt just right to him and made him feel at home; while the Rat, who every night slept in a bedroom with windows facing a breezy river, naturally found the atmosphere still and stifling.
“Well, it’s time we were all in bed,” said the Badger, getting up and fetching flat candlesticks. “Come along, you two, and I’ll show you your quarters. And take your time tomorrow morning—breakfast at any hour you please!”
“Well, it’s time we all went to bed,” said the Badger, getting up and grabbing flat candlesticks. “Come on, you two, and I’ll show you your rooms. And take your time tomorrow morning—breakfast at whatever hour you want!”
He conducted the two animals to a long room that seemed half bedchamber and half loft. The Badger’s winter stores, which indeed were visible everywhere, took up half the room—piles of apples, turnips, and potatoes, baskets full of nuts, and jars of honey; but the two little white beds on the remainder of the floor looked soft and inviting, and the linen on them, though coarse, was clean and smelt beautifully of lavender; and the Mole and the Water Rat, shaking off their garments in some thirty seconds, tumbled in between the sheets in great joy and contentment.
He led the two animals into a long room that felt like a mix between a bedroom and an attic. The Badger’s winter supplies, which were visible all around, filled up half the room—piles of apples, turnips, and potatoes, baskets full of nuts, and jars of honey; but the two little white beds on the other half of the floor looked soft and inviting, and the linens on them, though rough, were clean and smelled wonderfully of lavender. The Mole and the Water Rat quickly shed their clothes and leaped into the sheets with great joy and contentment.
In accordance with the kindly Badger’s injunctions, the two tired animals came down to breakfast very late next morning, and found a bright fire burning in the kitchen, and two young hedgehogs sitting on a bench at the table, eating oatmeal porridge out of wooden bowls. The hedgehogs dropped their spoons, rose to their feet, and ducked their heads respectfully as the two entered.
Following the kindly Badger’s instructions, the two exhausted animals came down for breakfast quite late the next morning and discovered a cheerful fire crackling in the kitchen. Two young hedgehogs were sitting on a bench at the table, eating oatmeal porridge from wooden bowls. The hedgehogs dropped their spoons, stood up, and nodded their heads politely as the two entered.
“There, sit down, sit down,” said the Rat pleasantly, “and go on with your porridge. Where have you youngsters come from? Lost your way in the snow, I suppose?”
“Come on, have a seat,” said the Rat cheerfully, “and keep eating your porridge. Where did you kids come from? Got lost in the snow, I guess?”
“Yes, please, sir,” said the elder of the two hedgehogs respectfully. “Me and little Billy here, we was trying to find our way to school—mother would have us go, was the weather ever so—and of course we lost ourselves, sir, and Billy he got frightened and took and cried, being young and faint-hearted. And at last we happened up against Mr. Badger’s back door, and made so bold as to knock, sir, for Mr. Badger he’s a kind-hearted gentleman, as everyone knows——”
“Yes, please, sir,” said the older of the two hedgehogs politely. “Little Billy and I were trying to find our way to school—our mother insisted we go, no matter the weather—and, of course, we got lost, sir. Billy got scared and started crying, being young and timid. Eventually, we ended up at Mr. Badger’s back door and took the liberty to knock, sir, since Mr. Badger is a kind gentleman, as everyone knows——”
“I understand,” said the Rat, cutting himself some rashers from a side of bacon, while the Mole dropped some eggs into a saucepan. “And what’s the weather like outside? You needn’t ‘sir’ me quite so much?” he added.
“I get it,” said the Rat, slicing off some rashers from a side of bacon, while the Mole dropped some eggs into a saucepan. “And what’s the weather like outside? You don’t have to ‘sir’ me so much?” he added.
“O, terrible bad, sir, terrible deep the snow is,” said the hedgehog. “No getting out for the likes of you gentlemen to-day.”
“O, really bad, sir, the snow is super deep,” said the hedgehog. “No chance for you gentlemen to get out today.”
“Where’s Mr. Badger?” inquired the Mole, as he warmed the coffee-pot before the fire.
“Where’s Mr. Badger?” asked the Mole, as he heated the coffee pot by the fire.
“The master’s gone into his study, sir,” replied the hedgehog, “and he said as how he was going to be particular busy this morning, and on no account was he to be disturbed.”
“The master’s gone into his study, sir,” replied the hedgehog, “and he said he was going to be really busy this morning, and under no circumstances should he be disturbed.”
This explanation, of course, was thoroughly understood by every one present. The fact is, as already set forth, when you live a life of intense activity for six months in the year, and of comparative or actual somnolence for the other six, during the latter period you cannot be continually pleading sleepiness when there are people about or things to be done. The excuse gets monotonous. The animals well knew that Badger, having eaten a hearty breakfast, had retired to his study and settled himself in an arm-chair with his legs up on another and a red cotton handkerchief over his face, and was being “busy” in the usual way at this time of the year.
This explanation was clearly understood by everyone present. The truth is, as already mentioned, when you live a life full of activity for six months and then switch to a period of restful inactivity for the other six, you can't keep claiming to be sleepy when there are people around or things to do. That excuse gets old. The animals knew that Badger, after having a big breakfast, had gone to his study and made himself comfortable in an armchair with his legs up on another chair and a red cotton handkerchief over his face, and was being "busy" in the usual way for this time of year.
The front-door bell clanged loudly, and the Rat, who was very greasy with buttered toast, sent Billy, the smaller hedgehog, to see who it might be. There was a sound of much stamping in the hall, and presently Billy returned in front of the Otter, who threw himself on the Rat with an embrace and a shout of affectionate greeting.
The front doorbell rang loudly, and the Rat, who was very greasy from buttered toast, sent Billy, the smaller hedgehog, to see who it was. There was a lot of stamping in the hall, and soon Billy came back with the Otter, who jumped on the Rat with a hug and a cheerful shout of greeting.
“Get off!” spluttered the Rat, with his mouth full.
"Get off!" the Rat exclaimed, his mouth full.
“Thought I should find you here all right,” said the Otter cheerfully. “They were all in a great state of alarm along River Bank when I arrived this morning. Rat never been home all night—nor Mole either—something dreadful must have happened, they said; and the snow had covered up all your tracks, of course. But I knew that when people were in any fix they mostly went to Badger, or else Badger got to know of it somehow, so I came straight off here, through the Wild Wood and the snow! My! it was fine, coming through the snow as the red sun was rising and showing against the black tree-trunks! As you went along in the stillness, every now and then masses of snow slid off the branches suddenly with a flop! making you jump and run for cover. Snow-castles and snow-caverns had sprung up out of nowhere in the night—and snow bridges, terraces, ramparts—I could have stayed and played with them for hours. Here and there great branches had been torn away by the sheer weight of the snow, and robins perched and hopped on them in their perky conceited way, just as if they had done it themselves. A ragged string of wild geese passed overhead, high on the grey sky, and a few rooks whirled over the trees, inspected, and flapped off homewards with a disgusted expression; but I met no sensible being to ask the news of. About halfway across I came on a rabbit sitting on a stump, cleaning his silly face with his paws. He was a pretty scared animal when I crept up behind him and placed a heavy forepaw on his shoulder. I had to cuff his head once or twice to get any sense out of it at all. At last I managed to extract from him that Mole had been seen in the Wild Wood last night by one of them. It was the talk of the burrows, he said, how Mole, Mr. Rat’s particular friend, was in a bad fix; how he had lost his way, and ‘They’ were up and out hunting, and were chivvying him round and round. ‘Then why didn’t any of you do something?’ I asked. ‘You mayn’t be blest with brains, but there are hundreds and hundreds of you, big, stout fellows, as fat as butter, and your burrows running in all directions, and you could have taken him in and made him safe and comfortable, or tried to, at all events.’ ‘What, us?’ he merely said: ‘do something? us rabbits?’ So I cuffed him again and left him. There was nothing else to be done. At any rate, I had learnt something; and if I had had the luck to meet any of ‘Them’ I’d have learnt something more—or they would.”
“Thought I’d find you here,” said the Otter cheerfully. “Everyone was really worried along River Bank when I arrived this morning. Rat hadn’t been home all night—neither had Mole—so they said something terrible must have happened, and the snow had covered up all your tracks, of course. But I figured that when people are in trouble, they usually go to Badger, or somehow Badger finds out, so I came straight here through the Wild Wood and the snow! Wow, it was beautiful coming through the snow as the red sun was rising against the black tree trunks! As you walked in the stillness, every now and then chunks of snow would slide off the branches suddenly with a flop, making you jump and look for cover. Snow castles and snow caves had appeared out of nowhere overnight—and snow bridges, terraces, ramparts—I could have stayed and played with them for hours. Here and there, big branches had been broken off by the heavy snow, and robins were perched on them, hopping around in their cocky way, as if they had done it themselves. A ragged line of wild geese flew overhead against the grey sky, and a few rooks circled over the trees, checked things out, and flapped off home, looking disgusted; but I didn’t run into anyone sensible to ask for news. About halfway across, I spotted a rabbit sitting on a stump, cleaning his silly face with his paws. He was pretty scared when I sneaked up behind him and put a heavy forepaw on his shoulder. I had to bop his head a couple of times to get any sense out of him. Finally, I managed to get from him that Mole had been seen in the Wild Wood last night by one of them. It was the talk of the burrows, he said, about how Mole, Mr. Rat’s close friend, was in trouble; how he had gotten lost and ‘They’ were out hunting for him, chasing him around. ‘So why didn’t any of you do something?’ I asked. ‘You may not have brains, but there are hundreds of you, big, stout fellows, as fat as butter, with your burrows all over the place, and you could have taken him in and kept him safe and comfortable, or at least tried.’ ‘What, us?’ he just said: ‘do something? us rabbits?’ So I bopped him again and walked away. There was nothing else I could do. At least, I had learned something; and if I had been lucky enough to meet any of ‘Them,’ I’d have learned more—or they would have.”
“Weren’t you at all—er—nervous?” asked the Mole, some of yesterday’s terror coming back to him at the mention of the Wild Wood.
“Were you not a bit—um—nervous?” asked the Mole, some of yesterday's fear returning to him at the mention of the Wild Wood.
“Nervous?” The Otter showed a gleaming set of strong white teeth as he laughed. “I’d give ’em nerves if any of them tried anything on with me. Here, Mole, fry me some slices of ham, like the good little chap you are. I’m frightfully hungry, and I’ve got any amount to say to Ratty here. Haven’t seen him for an age.”
“Nervous?” The Otter flashed a bright smile, showing off his strong white teeth as he laughed. “I’d scare them off if any of them tried anything with me. Hey, Mole, fry me some slices of ham, like the good little buddy you are. I’m really hungry, and I’ve got a ton to talk about with Ratty here. I haven’t seen him in ages.”
So the good-natured Mole, having cut some slices of ham, set the hedgehogs to fry it, and returned to his own breakfast, while the Otter and the Rat, their heads together, eagerly talked river-shop, which is long shop and talk that is endless, running on like the babbling river itself.
So the good-natured Mole, after slicing some ham, had the hedgehogs fry it while he went back to his own breakfast. Meanwhile, the Otter and the Rat, with their heads close together, excitedly discussed everything about river life, which is a long conversation that never seems to end, flowing on like the babbling river itself.
A plate of fried ham had just been cleared and sent back for more, when the Badger entered, yawning and rubbing his eyes, and greeted them all in his quiet, simple way, with kind enquiries for every one. “It must be getting on for luncheon time,” he remarked to the Otter. “Better stop and have it with us. You must be hungry, this cold morning.”
A plate of fried ham had just been cleared and sent back for more when the Badger walked in, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He greeted everyone in his calm, straightforward manner, asking how they all were. “It must be getting close to lunchtime,” he said to the Otter. “You should stick around and join us. I bet you're hungry on this chilly morning.”
“Rather!” replied the Otter, winking at the Mole. “The sight of these greedy young hedgehogs stuffing themselves with fried ham makes me feel positively famished.”
“Absolutely!” replied the Otter, winking at the Mole. “Seeing these greedy young hedgehogs gobbling up fried ham makes me feel really hungry.”
The hedgehogs, who were just beginning to feel hungry again after their porridge, and after working so hard at their frying, looked timidly up at Mr. Badger, but were too shy to say anything.
The hedgehogs, who were just starting to feel hungry again after their porridge and after working so hard at their frying, glanced nervously at Mr. Badger but were too shy to say anything.
“Here, you two youngsters be off home to your mother,” said the Badger kindly. “I’ll send some one with you to show you the way. You won’t want any dinner to-day, I’ll be bound.”
“Alright, you two kids head home to your mom,” said the Badger kindly. “I’ll send someone with you to show you the way. I bet you won’t want any dinner today.”
He gave them sixpence apiece and a pat on the head, and they went off with much respectful swinging of caps and touching of forelocks.
He gave them sixpence each and a friendly pat on the head, and they left with a lot of respectful cap waving and touching their forelocks.
Presently they all sat down to luncheon together. The Mole found himself placed next to Mr. Badger, and, as the other two were still deep in river-gossip from which nothing could divert them, he took the opportunity to tell Badger how comfortable and home-like it all felt to him. “Once well underground,” he said, “you know exactly where you are. Nothing can happen to you, and nothing can get at you. You’re entirely your own master, and you don’t have to consult anybody or mind what they say. Things go on all the same overhead, and you let ’em, and don’t bother about ’em. When you want to, up you go, and there the things are, waiting for you.”
Right now, they all sat down to lunch together. The Mole found himself next to Mr. Badger, and since the other two were still engrossed in river talk that nothing could interrupt, he took the chance to tell Badger how comfortable and homely it all felt to him. “Once you’re well underground,” he said, “you know exactly where you stand. Nothing can harm you, and nothing can get to you. You’re completely your own boss, and you don’t have to check with anyone or worry about their opinions. Life goes on above, and you just let it, without stressing about it. When you feel like it, you can go up, and there everything is, waiting for you.”
The Badger simply beamed on him. “That’s exactly what I say,” he replied. “There’s no security, or peace and tranquillity, except underground. And then, if your ideas get larger and you want to expand—why, a dig and a scrape, and there you are! If you feel your house is a bit too big, you stop up a hole or two, and there you are again! No builders, no tradesmen, no remarks passed on you by fellows looking over your wall, and, above all, no weather. Look at Rat, now. A couple of feet of flood water, and he’s got to move into hired lodgings; uncomfortable, inconveniently situated, and horribly expensive. Take Toad. I say nothing against Toad Hall; quite the best house in these parts, as a house. But supposing a fire breaks out—where’s Toad? Supposing tiles are blown off, or walls sink or crack, or windows get broken—where’s Toad? Supposing the rooms are draughty—I hate a draught myself—where’s Toad? No, up and out of doors is good enough to roam about and get one’s living in; but underground to come back to at last—that’s my idea of home!”
The Badger just smiled at him. “That’s exactly what I think,” he said. “There's no real security or peace and quiet except underground. And then, if your ideas get bigger and you want to expand—just a dig and a scrape, and you’re all set! If you feel your place is a bit too big, you just block up a hole or two, and you're good again! No builders, no contractors, no comments from people peeking over your wall, and, above all, no weather. Look at Rat, for instance. A couple of feet of floodwater, and he has to move into rented accommodations; uncomfortable, badly located, and ridiculously expensive. And Toad? I won’t say anything against Toad Hall; it’s the best house around here, as a house. But if a fire breaks out—where’s Toad? If tiles get blown off, or walls sink or crack, or windows break—where's Toad? If the rooms are drafty—I can’t stand a draft myself—where’s Toad? No, being up and out in the world is nice for exploring and making a living; but coming back to something underground at last—that’s my idea of home!”
The Mole assented heartily; and the Badger in consequence got very friendly with him. “When lunch is over,” he said, “I’ll take you all round this little place of mine. I can see you’ll appreciate it. You understand what domestic architecture ought to be, you do.”
The Mole agreed enthusiastically, and as a result, the Badger became quite friendly with him. “After lunch,” he said, “I’ll show you around my little place. I can tell you’ll really appreciate it. You know what good home design should be, that’s for sure.”
After luncheon, accordingly, when the other two had settled themselves into the chimney-corner and had started a heated argument on the subject of eels, the Badger lighted a lantern and bade the Mole follow him. Crossing the hall, they passed down one of the principal tunnels, and the wavering light of the lantern gave glimpses on either side of rooms both large and small, some mere cupboards, others nearly as broad and imposing as Toad’s dining-hall. A narrow passage at right angles led them into another corridor, and here the same thing was repeated. The Mole was staggered at the size, the extent, the ramifications of it all; at the length of the dim passages, the solid vaultings of the crammed store-chambers, the masonry everywhere, the pillars, the arches, the pavements. “How on earth, Badger,” he said at last, “did you ever find time and strength to do all this? It’s astonishing!”
After lunch, when the other two had settled into the fireplace and began a heated argument about eels, the Badger lit a lantern and told the Mole to follow him. They crossed the hall and traveled down one of the main tunnels, and the flickering light of the lantern revealed glimpses of rooms on both sides, some just small closets, others almost as wide and grand as Toad’s dining room. A narrow passage that turned at a right angle led them into another hallway, and the same scene unfolded again. The Mole was amazed by the size, the scope, and the complexity of it all; the length of the dim corridors, the solid ceilings of the packed storage rooms, the stonework everywhere, the pillars, the arches, the floors. “How on earth, Badger,” he finally asked, “did you find the time and energy to do all this? It’s incredible!”
“It would be astonishing indeed,” said the Badger simply, “if I had done it. But as a matter of fact I did none of it—only cleaned out the passages and chambers, as far as I had need of them. There’s lots more of it, all round about. I see you don’t understand, and I must explain it to you. Well, very long ago, on the spot where the Wild Wood waves now, before ever it had planted itself and grown up to what it now is, there was a city—a city of people, you know. Here, where we are standing, they lived, and walked, and talked, and slept, and carried on their business. Here they stabled their horses and feasted, from here they rode out to fight or drove out to trade. They were a powerful people, and rich, and great builders. They built to last, for they thought their city would last for ever.”
“It would be pretty amazing,” said the Badger simply, “if I had done it. But actually, I didn't do any of that—only cleaned out the passages and chambers that I needed. There’s plenty more of it all around. I see you don’t get it, so I’ll explain. Well, long ago, where the Wild Wood stands now, before it even settled and grew into what it is today, there was a city—a city of people, you know. Here, where we are, they lived, walked, talked, slept, and conducted their business. They kept their horses here and feasted; from here they rode out to battle or headed out to trade. They were a powerful, rich people and great builders. They built to last because they believed their city would last forever.”
“But what has become of them all?” asked the Mole.
“But what happened to all of them?” asked the Mole.
“Who can tell?” said the Badger. “People come—they stay for a while, they flourish, they build—and they go. It is their way. But we remain. There were badgers here, I’ve been told, long before that same city ever came to be. And now there are badgers here again. We are an enduring lot, and we may move out for a time, but we wait, and are patient, and back we come. And so it will ever be.”
“Who knows?” said the Badger. “People come—they stick around for a bit, they thrive, they build—and then they leave. That’s just how it is. But we’re still here. I’ve heard there were badgers around long before that city even existed. And now there are badgers here once more. We’re a resilient bunch; we might wander off for a while, but we wait, we’re patient, and we always come back. And that’s how it will always be.”
“Well, and when they went at last, those people?” said the Mole.
“Well, what happened when those people finally left?” said the Mole.
“When they went,” continued the Badger, “the strong winds and persistent rains took the matter in hand, patiently, ceaselessly, year after year. Perhaps we badgers too, in our small way, helped a little—who knows? It was all down, down, down, gradually—ruin and levelling and disappearance. Then it was all up, up, up, gradually, as seeds grew to saplings, and saplings to forest trees, and bramble and fern came creeping in to help. Leaf-mould rose and obliterated, streams in their winter freshets brought sand and soil to clog and to cover, and in course of time our home was ready for us again, and we moved in. Up above us, on the surface, the same thing happened. Animals arrived, liked the look of the place, took up their quarters, settled down, spread, and flourished. They didn’t bother themselves about the past—they never do; they’re too busy. The place was a bit humpy and hillocky, naturally, and full of holes; but that was rather an advantage. And they don’t bother about the future, either—the future when perhaps the people will move in again—for a time—as may very well be. The Wild Wood is pretty well populated by now; with all the usual lot, good, bad, and indifferent—I name no names. It takes all sorts to make a world. But I fancy you know something about them yourself by this time.”
“When they left,” the Badger continued, “the strong winds and constant rains took over, patiently and tirelessly, year after year. Maybe we badgers also helped a little—who knows? It was all down, down, down, gradually—ruin, leveling, and disappearance. Then it was all up, up, up, gradually, as seeds became saplings, and saplings grew into forest trees, with bramble and fern creeping in to assist. Leaf mold accumulated and covered everything, streams during winter floods brought sand and soil to fill and cover, and eventually, our home was ready for us again, and we moved back in. Above us, on the surface, the same thing occurred. Animals showed up, liked the place, set up their homes, settled in, spread out, and thrived. They didn’t concern themselves with the past—they never do; they’re too busy. The area was a bit hilly and full of holes, but that was actually a plus. And they don’t think about the future, either—like when people might move back in again—for a time—as could very well happen. The Wild Wood is pretty populated by now; with all the usual characters, good, bad, and indifferent—I’ll leave names out. It takes all kinds to make a world. But I imagine you know something about them yourself by now.”
“I do indeed,” said the Mole, with a slight shiver.
“I really do,” said the Mole, with a slight shiver.
“Well, well,” said the Badger, patting him on the shoulder, “it was your first experience of them, you see. They’re not so bad really; and we must all live and let live. But I’ll pass the word around to-morrow, and I think you’ll have no further trouble. Any friend of mine walks where he likes in this country, or I’ll know the reason why!”
"Well, well," said the Badger, giving him a pat on the shoulder, "that was your first experience with them, you see. They're not too bad, really; and we should all live and let live. But I’ll spread the word tomorrow, and I think you won’t have any more trouble. Any friend of mine can go wherever he wants in this country, or I’ll make sure there’s a good reason for it!"
When they got back to the kitchen again, they found the Rat walking up and down, very restless. The underground atmosphere was oppressing him and getting on his nerves, and he seemed really to be afraid that the river would run away if he wasn’t there to look after it. So he had his overcoat on, and his pistols thrust into his belt again. “Come along, Mole,” he said anxiously, as soon as he caught sight of them. “We must get off while it’s daylight. Don’t want to spend another night in the Wild Wood again.”
When they returned to the kitchen, they found the Rat pacing back and forth, clearly agitated. The underground environment was stifling him and getting on his nerves, and he seemed genuinely worried that the river would vanish if he wasn’t there to take care of it. So he had his overcoat on and his pistols tucked into his belt again. “Come on, Mole,” he said nervously as soon as he saw them. “We need to leave while it’s still light out. I don’t want to spend another night in the Wild Wood.”
“It’ll be all right, my fine fellow,” said the Otter. “I’m coming along with you, and I know every path blindfold; and if there’s a head that needs to be punched, you can confidently rely upon me to punch it.”
“It’ll be fine, my good friend,” said the Otter. “I’m going with you, and I know every path even if I’m blindfolded; and if there’s anyone who needs a good punch, you can count on me to do it.”
“You really needn’t fret, Ratty,” added the Badger placidly. “My passages run further than you think, and I’ve bolt-holes to the edge of the wood in several directions, though I don’t care for everybody to know about them. When you really have to go, you shall leave by one of my short cuts. Meantime, make yourself easy, and sit down again.”
“You really don’t need to worry, Ratty,” the Badger said calmly. “My passages go farther than you realize, and I have escape routes to the edge of the woods in several directions, though I don’t want everyone to know about them. When you really have to leave, you can use one of my shortcuts. For now, relax and sit down again.”
The Rat was nevertheless still anxious to be off and attend to his river, so the Badger, taking up his lantern again, led the way along a damp and airless tunnel that wound and dipped, part vaulted, part hewn through solid rock, for a weary distance that seemed to be miles. At last daylight began to show itself confusedly through tangled growth overhanging the mouth of the passage; and the Badger, bidding them a hasty good-bye, pushed them hurriedly through the opening, made everything look as natural as possible again, with creepers, brushwood, and dead leaves, and retreated.
The Rat was still eager to leave and check on his river, so the Badger picked up his lantern again and led the way through a damp, stuffy tunnel that twisted and dipped, partly arched and partly carved through solid rock, for what felt like miles. Finally, daylight started to filter through the dense growth hanging over the entrance; and the Badger, quickly saying goodbye, pushed them through the opening, arranged everything to look natural again with vines, brush, and dead leaves, and then stepped back.
They found themselves standing on the very edge of the Wild Wood. Rocks and brambles and tree-roots behind them, confusedly heaped and tangled; in front, a great space of quiet fields, hemmed by lines of hedges black on the snow, and, far ahead, a glint of the familiar old river, while the wintry sun hung red and low on the horizon. The Otter, as knowing all the paths, took charge of the party, and they trailed out on a bee-line for a distant stile. Pausing there a moment and looking back, they saw the whole mass of the Wild Wood, dense, menacing, compact, grimly set in vast white surroundings; simultaneously they turned and made swiftly for home, for firelight and the familiar things it played on, for the voice, sounding cheerily outside their window, of the river that they knew and trusted in all its moods, that never made them afraid with any amazement.
They found themselves standing right at the edge of the Wild Wood. Behind them were rocks, brambles, and tangled tree roots, all mixed up; in front of them lay a wide expanse of quiet fields, bordered by dark hedges against the snow, and far ahead, a glimmer of the familiar old river, while the winter sun hung low and red on the horizon. The Otter, who knew all the paths, took the lead, and they headed straight for a distant stile. Stopping for a moment to look back, they saw the entire mass of the Wild Wood, dense, threatening, and compact, grimly set against the vast white surroundings; at the same time, they turned and quickly made their way home, towards the warmth of firelight and the familiar things it illuminated, and to the cheerful sound of the river they knew and trusted in all its moods, which never scared them with any surprises.
As he hurried along, eagerly anticipating the moment when he would be at home again among the things he knew and liked, the Mole saw clearly that he was an animal of tilled field and hedge-row, linked to the ploughed furrow, the frequented pasture, the lane of evening lingerings, the cultivated garden-plot. For others the asperities, the stubborn endurance, or the clash of actual conflict, that went with Nature in the rough; he must be wise, must keep to the pleasant places in which his lines were laid and which held adventure enough, in their way, to last for a lifetime.
As he rushed along, looking forward to being home again surrounded by the things he knew and loved, the Mole realized that he was an animal of the cultivated fields and hedgerows, connected to the plowed earth, the often-visited pastures, the evening lanes, and the tended garden. For others, there were the harsh realities, the tough challenges, or the direct struggles that came with dealing with nature in its raw form; he knew he needed to be smart and stick to the pleasant places where he belonged, which offered enough adventure, in their own way, to last a lifetime.
V.
DULCE DOMUM
The sheep ran huddling together against the hurdles, blowing out thin nostrils and stamping with delicate fore-feet, their heads thrown back and a light steam rising from the crowded sheep-pen into the frosty air, as the two animals hastened by in high spirits, with much chatter and laughter. They were returning across country after a long day’s outing with Otter, hunting and exploring on the wide uplands where certain streams tributary to their own River had their first small beginnings; and the shades of the short winter day were closing in on them, and they had still some distance to go. Plodding at random across the plough, they had heard the sheep and had made for them; and now, leading from the sheep-pen, they found a beaten track that made walking a lighter business, and responded, moreover, to that small inquiring something which all animals carry inside them, saying unmistakably, “Yes, quite right; this leads home!”
The sheep clustered together against the fences, blowing through their narrow nostrils and stamping their delicate front feet, their heads tilted back with a light mist rising from the crowded pen into the chilly air. Meanwhile, the two animals hurried by, filled with excitement, chatting and laughing. They were making their way back after a long day out with Otter, hunting and exploring the broad highlands where some streams that flowed into their own river had their origins. The shadows of the short winter day were closing in on them, and they still had a ways to go. While wandering across the plowed field, they had heard the sheep and headed toward them; now, as they left the pen, they discovered a worn path that made walking easier and seemed to resonate with that small, curious instinct all animals have, unmistakably saying, “Yes, this leads home!”
“It looks as if we were coming to a village,” said the Mole somewhat dubiously, slackening his pace, as the track, that had in time become a path and then had developed into a lane, now handed them over to the charge of a well-metalled road. The animals did not hold with villages, and their own highways, thickly frequented as they were, took an independent course, regardless of church, post office, or public-house.
“It looks like we’re approaching a village,” said the Mole, a bit uncertain, slowing down as the track that had once been a path, then a lane, now delivered them to a smooth, paved road. The animals weren’t fond of villages, and their own busy routes, as crowded as they were, took their own path, ignoring churches, post offices, or pubs.
“Oh, never mind!” said the Rat. “At this season of the year they’re all safe indoors by this time, sitting round the fire; men, women, and children, dogs and cats and all. We shall slip through all right, without any bother or unpleasantness, and we can have a look at them through their windows if you like, and see what they’re doing.”
“Oh, forget it!” said the Rat. “At this time of year, they’re all safe inside by now, gathered around the fire; men, women, kids, dogs, and cats, everyone. We’ll get through without any trouble or hassle, and we can peek in their windows if you want, to see what they’re up to.”
The rapid nightfall of mid-December had quite beset the little village as they approached it on soft feet over a first thin fall of powdery snow. Little was visible but squares of a dusky orange-red on either side of the street, where the firelight or lamplight of each cottage overflowed through the casements into the dark world without. Most of the low latticed windows were innocent of blinds, and to the lookers-in from outside, the inmates, gathered round the tea-table, absorbed in handiwork, or talking with laughter and gesture, had each that happy grace which is the last thing the skilled actor shall capture—the natural grace which goes with perfect unconsciousness of observation. Moving at will from one theatre to another, the two spectators, so far from home themselves, had something of wistfulness in their eyes as they watched a cat being stroked, a sleepy child picked up and huddled off to bed, or a tired man stretch and knock out his pipe on the end of a smouldering log.
The swift arrival of night in mid-December had really enveloped the small village as they approached it quietly over the first thin layer of soft snow. Little could be seen except for patches of a warm orange-red glow on either side of the street, where the light from the fires or lamps in each cottage spilled through the windows into the dark outside. Most of the low-paneled windows didn’t have blinds, and to those looking in from outside, the people inside, gathered around the tea table, focused on their crafts, or chatting with laughter and gestures, had that effortless charm that is the last thing a skilled actor can truly capture—the natural grace that comes with being completely unaware of being watched. Moving freely from one scene to another, the two observers, far from home themselves, had a touch of longing in their eyes as they noticed a cat being petted, a sleepy child being picked up and taken off to bed, or a tired man stretching and tapping out his pipe on the edge of a smoldering log.
But it was from one little window, with its blind drawn down, a mere blank transparency on the night, that the sense of home and the little curtained world within walls—the larger stressful world of outside Nature shut out and forgotten—most pulsated. Close against the white blind hung a bird-cage, clearly silhouetted, every wire, perch, and appurtenance distinct and recognisable, even to yesterday’s dull-edged lump of sugar. On the middle perch the fluffy occupant, head tucked well into feathers, seemed so near to them as to be easily stroked, had they tried; even the delicate tips of his plumped-out plumage pencilled plainly on the illuminated screen. As they looked, the sleepy little fellow stirred uneasily, woke, shook himself, and raised his head. They could see the gape of his tiny beak as he yawned in a bored sort of way, looked round, and then settled his head into his back again, while the ruffled feathers gradually subsided into perfect stillness. Then a gust of bitter wind took them in the back of the neck, a small sting of frozen sleet on the skin woke them as from a dream, and they knew their toes to be cold and their legs tired, and their own home distant a weary way.
But from one small window, with its blind pulled down, a simple blank space against the night, the feeling of home and the little world behind the walls—the larger, stressful world of nature outside shut out and forgotten—came through most strongly. Close to the white blind was a birdcage, clearly outlined, every wire, perch, and accessory distinct and recognizable, even to yesterday's dull lump of sugar. On the middle perch, the fluffy occupant, with its head tucked deep into its feathers, seemed so close that they could have easily stroked it if they tried; even the delicate tips of its puffed-up feathers were clearly visible on the illuminated screen. As they watched, the sleepy little guy stirred uneasily, woke up, shook himself, and lifted his head. They saw his tiny beak open wide as he yawned in a bored sort of way, looked around, and then tucked his head back into his feathers again, while his ruffled feathers gradually settled into perfect stillness. Then a gust of cold wind hit them at the back of the neck, a sharp sting of freezing sleet on their skin jolted them as if waking from a dream, and they realized their toes were cold, their legs tired, and their own home felt like a long way off.
Once beyond the village, where the cottages ceased abruptly, on either side of the road they could smell through the darkness the friendly fields again; and they braced themselves for the last long stretch, the home stretch, the stretch that we know is bound to end, some time, in the rattle of the door-latch, the sudden firelight, and the sight of familiar things greeting us as long-absent travellers from far over-sea. They plodded along steadily and silently, each of them thinking his own thoughts. The Mole’s ran a good deal on supper, as it was pitch-dark, and it was all a strange country for him as far as he knew, and he was following obediently in the wake of the Rat, leaving the guidance entirely to him. As for the Rat, he was walking a little way ahead, as his habit was, his shoulders humped, his eyes fixed on the straight grey road in front of him; so he did not notice poor Mole when suddenly the summons reached him, and took him like an electric shock.
Once they were past the village, where the cottages stopped suddenly, they could smell the welcoming fields again on either side of the road, even in the darkness. They readied themselves for the last long stretch—the home stretch, the stretch that they knew would eventually lead them to the jingle of the door latch, the sudden light of a fire, and the sight of familiar things welcoming them back like long-lost travelers from afar. They trudged along steadily and silently, each deep in their own thoughts. The Mole’s thoughts were mostly about dinner since it was pitch-black, and everything was unfamiliar to him as far as he could tell. He was following the Rat closely, trusting him completely for guidance. The Rat, on the other hand, walked a bit ahead as was his habit, hunched over with his eyes fixed on the straight gray road ahead; he didn’t notice poor Mole when the call came suddenly and hit him like an electric shock.
We others, who have long lost the more subtle of the physical senses, have not even proper terms to express an animal’s inter-communications with his surroundings, living or otherwise, and have only the word “smell,” for instance, to include the whole range of delicate thrills which murmur in the nose of the animal night and day, summoning, warning, inciting, repelling. It was one of these mysterious fairy calls from out the void that suddenly reached Mole in the darkness, making him tingle through and through with its very familiar appeal, even while yet he could not clearly remember what it was. He stopped dead in his tracks, his nose searching hither and thither in its efforts to recapture the fine filament, the telegraphic current, that had so strongly moved him. A moment, and he had caught it again; and with it this time came recollection in fullest flood.
We, who have long since lost the more subtle physical senses, don't even have the right words to describe how animals communicate with their surroundings, both living and non-living. We rely only on the term “smell” to encompass the whole range of delicate sensations that constantly stir in an animal's nose, calling, warning, exciting, or repelling. It was one of those mysterious calls from the void that suddenly reached Mole in the darkness, making him tingle with its familiar lure, even though he couldn’t quite remember what it was yet. He stopped abruptly, his nose darting this way and that in an attempt to recapture the fine thread, the signal, that had moved him so deeply. In a moment, he caught it again; and along with it came a flood of memories.
Home! That was what they meant, those caressing appeals, those soft touches wafted through the air, those invisible little hands pulling and tugging, all one way! Why, it must be quite close by him at that moment, his old home that he had hurriedly forsaken and never sought again, that day when he first found the river! And now it was sending out its scouts and its messengers to capture him and bring him in. Since his escape on that bright morning he had hardly given it a thought, so absorbed had he been in his new life, in all its pleasures, its surprises, its fresh and captivating experiences. Now, with a rush of old memories, how clearly it stood up before him, in the darkness! Shabby indeed, and small and poorly furnished, and yet his, the home he had made for himself, the home he had been so happy to get back to after his day’s work. And the home had been happy with him, too, evidently, and was missing him, and wanted him back, and was telling him so, through his nose, sorrowfully, reproachfully, but with no bitterness or anger; only with plaintive reminder that it was there, and wanted him.
Home! That's what they meant, those gentle calls, those soft touches carried through the air, those invisible little hands pulling and tugging, all in one direction! It must be really close to him at that moment, his old home that he had quickly left behind and never returned to, the day he first discovered the river! And now it was sending out its scouts and messengers to bring him back. Since his escape that bright morning, he had barely thought about it, so caught up had he been in his new life, with all its pleasures, surprises, and exciting experiences. Now, with a wave of old memories, it stood out clearly before him, in the darkness! Shabby, yes, and small and poorly furnished, yet it was his—the home he had created for himself, the place he had been so happy to return to after a day's work. And the home had been happy with him too, obviously, and was missing him, wanting him back, and was telling him so, through his senses, sadly, reproachfully, but without bitterness or anger; just a mournful reminder that it was there, and wanted him.
The call was clear, the summons was plain. He must obey it instantly, and go. “Ratty!” he called, full of joyful excitement, “hold on! Come back! I want you, quick!”
The call was clear, the summons was straightforward. He had to respond immediately and leave. “Ratty!” he shouted, filled with joyful excitement, “wait! Come back! I need you, quick!”
“Oh, come along, Mole, do!” replied the Rat cheerfully, still plodding along.
“Oh, come on, Mole, do!” said the Rat cheerfully, still moving ahead.
“Please stop, Ratty!” pleaded the poor Mole, in anguish of heart. “You don’t understand! It’s my home, my old home! I’ve just come across the smell of it, and it’s close by here, really quite close. And I must go to it, I must, I must! Oh, come back, Ratty! Please, please come back!”
“Please stop, Ratty!” begged the poor Mole, heartbroken. “You don’t get it! It’s my home, my old home! I just caught a whiff of it, and it’s very close, really quite near. And I have to go to it, I have to, I have to! Oh, come back, Ratty! Please, please come back!”
The Rat was by this time very far ahead, too far to hear clearly what the Mole was calling, too far to catch the sharp note of painful appeal in his voice. And he was much taken up with the weather, for he too could smell something—something suspiciously like approaching snow.
The Rat was now quite a distance ahead, too far to hear clearly what the Mole was shouting, too far to pick up on the urgent note of distress in his voice. He was also focused on the weather, because he could smell something—something that definitely felt like snow was coming.
“Mole, we mustn’t stop now, really!” he called back. “We’ll come for it to-morrow, whatever it is you’ve found. But I daren’t stop now—it’s late, and the snow’s coming on again, and I’m not sure of the way! And I want your nose, Mole, so come on quick, there’s a good fellow!” And the Rat pressed forward on his way without waiting for an answer.
“Mole, we can’t stop now, seriously!” he shouted back. “We’ll get it tomorrow, whatever you’ve found. But I can’t stop right now—it’s late, the snow is starting up again, and I’m not sure about the way! And I need your nose, Mole, so hurry up, please!” And the Rat moved ahead without waiting for a reply.
Poor Mole stood alone in the road, his heart torn asunder, and a big sob gathering, gathering, somewhere low down inside him, to leap up to the surface presently, he knew, in passionate escape. But even under such a test as this his loyalty to his friend stood firm. Never for a moment did he dream of abandoning him. Meanwhile, the wafts from his old home pleaded, whispered, conjured, and finally claimed him imperiously. He dared not tarry longer within their magic circle. With a wrench that tore his very heartstrings he set his face down the road and followed submissively in the track of the Rat, while faint, thin little smells, still dogging his retreating nose, reproached him for his new friendship and his callous forgetfulness.
Poor Mole stood alone in the road, his heart разбитый, and a big sob building up inside him, ready to burst out any moment in a passionate release. But even in such a tough situation, his loyalty to his friend stayed strong. He never even considered abandoning him. Meanwhile, the familiar scents from his old home pleaded, whispered, and eventually demanded his attention. He couldn’t linger any longer within their magical pull. With a wrench that felt like it was tearing his heart apart, he turned his face down the road and followed obediently in the Rat's footsteps, while faint, fading little smells followed him, reminding him of his old friendship and the hurt of his forgetfulness.
With an effort he caught up to the unsuspecting Rat, who began chattering cheerfully about what they would do when they got back, and how jolly a fire of logs in the parlour would be, and what a supper he meant to eat; never noticing his companion’s silence and distressful state of mind. At last, however, when they had gone some considerable way further, and were passing some tree-stumps at the edge of a copse that bordered the road, he stopped and said kindly, “Look here, Mole old chap, you seem dead tired. No talk left in you, and your feet dragging like lead. We’ll sit down here for a minute and rest. The snow has held off so far, and the best part of our journey is over.”
With some effort, he caught up to the unaware Rat, who began chatting happily about what they would do when they got back, how nice a fire made of logs in the living room would be, and what a great supper he planned to have; completely unaware of his companion’s silence and troubled state of mind. Finally, after they had gone quite a bit further and were passing some tree stumps at the edge of a thicket along the road, he stopped and said kindly, “Hey, Mole, you look completely worn out. You’re not saying much, and your feet are dragging like lead. Let’s sit here for a minute and rest. The snow has held off so far, and the hardest part of our journey is behind us.”
The Mole subsided forlornly on a tree-stump and tried to control himself, for he felt it surely coming. The sob he had fought with so long refused to be beaten. Up and up, it forced its way to the air, and then another, and another, and others thick and fast; till poor Mole at last gave up the struggle, and cried freely and helplessly and openly, now that he knew it was all over and he had lost what he could hardly be said to have found.
The Mole sat down sadly on a tree stump and tried to hold it together, because he felt it was definitely coming. The sob he had battled for so long wouldn’t be held back. One after another, they came rushing up, until poor Mole finally gave up the fight and cried freely, helplessly, and openly, now that he understood it was all over and he had lost what he could barely be said to have found.
The Rat, astonished and dismayed at the violence of Mole’s paroxysm of grief, did not dare to speak for a while. At last he said, very quietly and sympathetically, “What is it, old fellow? Whatever can be the matter? Tell us your trouble, and let me see what I can do.”
The Rat, shocked and upset by Mole’s outburst of grief, didn't say anything for a while. Finally, he spoke very gently and with understanding, “What’s wrong, my friend? What could possibly be the issue? Share your worries with us, and let me see how I can help.”
Poor Mole found it difficult to get any words out between the upheavals of his chest that followed one upon another so quickly and held back speech and choked it as it came. “I know it’s a—shabby, dingy little place,” he sobbed forth at last, brokenly: “not like—your cosy quarters—or Toad’s beautiful hall—or Badger’s great house—but it was my own little home—and I was fond of it—and I went away and forgot all about it—and then I smelt it suddenly—on the road, when I called and you wouldn’t listen, Rat—and everything came back to me with a rush—and I wanted it!—O dear, O dear!—and when you wouldn’t turn back, Ratty—and I had to leave it, though I was smelling it all the time—I thought my heart would break.—We might have just gone and had one look at it, Ratty—only one look—it was close by—but you wouldn’t turn back, Ratty, you wouldn’t turn back! O dear, O dear!”
Poor Mole found it hard to get any words out between the heaves from his chest that came one after another so quickly, making it tough to speak and choking him as he tried. “I know it’s a—shabby, dingy little place,” he finally managed to sob, brokenly: “not like—your cozy place—or Toad’s beautiful hall—or Badger’s big house—but it was my own little home—and I cared about it—and I went away and forgot all about it—and then I suddenly smelled it—on the road, when I called out and you wouldn’t listen, Rat—and everything came rushing back to me—and I wanted it!—O dear, O dear!—and when you wouldn’t turn back, Ratty—and I had to leave it, even though I was smelling it the whole time—I thought my heart would break.—We could have just gone and had one look at it, Ratty—just one look—it was close by—but you wouldn’t turn back, Ratty, you wouldn’t turn back! O dear, O dear!”
Recollection brought fresh waves of sorrow, and sobs again took full charge of him, preventing further speech.
Recollection brought new waves of sadness, and he was once again overcome with sobs, making it impossible for him to speak.
The Rat stared straight in front of him, saying nothing, only patting Mole gently on the shoulder. After a time he muttered gloomily, “I see it all now! What a pig I have been! A pig—that’s me! Just a pig—a plain pig!”
The Rat stared straight ahead, saying nothing, just gently patting Mole on the shoulder. After a while, he muttered sadly, “I get it now! What a pig I’ve been! A pig—that’s me! Just a pig—a plain pig!”
He waited till Mole’s sobs became gradually less stormy and more rhythmical; he waited till at last sniffs were frequent and sobs only intermittent. Then he rose from his seat, and, remarking carelessly, “Well, now we’d really better be getting on, old chap!” set off up the road again, over the toilsome way they had come.
He waited until Mole’s sobs became less intense and more steady; he waited until sniffling was common and sobs were only occasional. Then he got up from his seat and, casually saying, “Well, we really should get moving now, buddy!” started up the road again, retracing the difficult path they had taken.
“Wherever are you (hic) going to (hic), Ratty?” cried the tearful Mole, looking up in alarm.
“Where are you (hic) going to (hic), Ratty?” cried the tearful Mole, looking up in alarm.
“We’re going to find that home of yours, old fellow,” replied the Rat pleasantly; “so you had better come along, for it will take some finding, and we shall want your nose.”
“We’re going to find your home, my friend,” replied the Rat cheerfully; “so you should come along, because it will take some searching, and we’ll need your nose.”
“Oh, come back, Ratty, do!” cried the Mole, getting up and hurrying after him. “It’s no good, I tell you! It’s too late, and too dark, and the place is too far off, and the snow’s coming! And—and I never meant to let you know I was feeling that way about it—it was all an accident and a mistake! And think of River Bank, and your supper!”
“Oh, please come back, Ratty!” cried the Mole, getting up and rushing after him. “It’s pointless, I’m telling you! It’s too late, too dark, the place is too far away, and the snow is coming! And—and I never meant for you to know I felt that way about it—it was all an accident and a mistake! And think about River Bank and your dinner!”
“Hang River Bank, and supper too!” said the Rat heartily. “I tell you, I’m going to find this place now, if I stay out all night. So cheer up, old chap, and take my arm, and we’ll very soon be back there again.”
“Hang the River Bank, and dinner too!” said the Rat enthusiastically. “I’m telling you, I’m going to find this place right now, even if it means staying out all night. So cheer up, my friend, and take my arm, and we’ll be back there in no time.”
Still snuffling, pleading, and reluctant, Mole suffered himself to be dragged back along the road by his imperious companion, who by a flow of cheerful talk and anecdote endeavoured to beguile his spirits back and make the weary way seem shorter. When at last it seemed to the Rat that they must be nearing that part of the road where the Mole had been “held up,” he said, “Now, no more talking. Business! Use your nose, and give your mind to it.”
Still sniffing, pleading, and hesitant, Mole let himself be pulled along the road by his demanding friend, who tried to lift his spirits with cheerful chatter and stories to make the long journey feel shorter. When it finally seemed to the Rat that they were getting close to the spot where Mole had been “held up,” he said, “Now, no more talking. It’s time to focus! Use your nose and concentrate.”
They moved on in silence for some little way, when suddenly the Rat was conscious, through his arm that was linked in Mole’s, of a faint sort of electric thrill that was passing down that animal’s body. Instantly he disengaged himself, fell back a pace, and waited, all attention.
They walked on quietly for a short distance when suddenly Rat felt a slight electric thrill through his arm that was linked with Mole’s. He quickly pulled away, took a step back, and waited, fully alert.
The signals were coming through!
The signals are coming through!
Mole stood a moment rigid, while his uplifted nose, quivering slightly, felt the air.
Mole stood still for a moment, his nose raised and trembling slightly as it sensed the air.
Then a short, quick run forward—a fault—a check—a try back; and then a slow, steady, confident advance.
Then a brief, rapid dash forward—a mistake—a pause—a attempt to go back; and then a slow, steady, confident progress.
The Rat, much excited, kept close to his heels as the Mole, with something of the air of a sleep-walker, crossed a dry ditch, scrambled through a hedge, and nosed his way over a field open and trackless and bare in the faint starlight.
The Rat, feeling very excited, stayed right behind the Mole as he, looking a bit like a sleepwalker, crossed a dry ditch, climbed through a hedge, and sniffed his way across an open, unmarked, and empty field in the faint starlight.
Suddenly, without giving warning, he dived; but the Rat was on the alert, and promptly followed him down the tunnel to which his unerring nose had faithfully led him.
Suddenly, without any warning, he dove; but the Rat was ready and quickly followed him down the tunnel that his reliable nose had led him to.
It was close and airless, and the earthy smell was strong, and it seemed a long time to Rat ere the passage ended and he could stand erect and stretch and shake himself. The Mole struck a match, and by its light the Rat saw that they were standing in an open space, neatly swept and sanded underfoot, and directly facing them was Mole’s little front door, with “Mole End” painted, in Gothic lettering, over the bell-pull at the side.
It was tight and stuffy, with a strong earthy smell, and it felt like a long time for Rat before the passage ended and he could stand up straight, stretch, and shake himself off. The Mole lit a match, and by its light, Rat saw that they were in an open area, neatly swept and sanded beneath their feet, directly in front of them was Mole’s little front door, with “Mole End” painted in Gothic letters over the bell-pull on the side.
Mole reached down a lantern from a nail on the wall and lit it... and the Rat, looking round him, saw that they were in a sort of fore-court. A garden-seat stood on one side of the door, and on the other a roller; for the Mole, who was a tidy animal when at home, could not stand having his ground kicked up by other animals into little runs that ended in earth-heaps. On the walls hung wire baskets with ferns in them, alternating with brackets carrying plaster statuary—Garibaldi, and the infant Samuel, and Queen Victoria, and other heroes of modern Italy. Down on one side of the forecourt ran a skittle-alley, with benches along it and little wooden tables marked with rings that hinted at beer-mugs. In the middle was a small round pond containing gold-fish and surrounded by a cockle-shell border. Out of the centre of the pond rose a fanciful erection clothed in more cockle-shells and topped by a large silvered glass ball that reflected everything all wrong and had a very pleasing effect.
Mole took a lantern down from a nail on the wall and lit it... and the Rat, looking around, noticed that they were in a kind of courtyard. A garden bench sat on one side of the door, and on the other was a roller; for the Mole, who liked to keep things neat at home, couldn’t stand having his space disrupted by other animals creating little paths that ended in dirt piles. On the walls hung wire baskets with ferns in them, alternating with shelves holding plaster statues—Garibaldi, the infant Samuel, Queen Victoria, and other figures from modern Italy. Along one side of the courtyard was a skittle alley, with benches and small wooden tables marked with rings that hinted at beer mugs. In the center was a small round pond with goldfish, bordered by cockle shells. Rising from the center of the pond was a whimsical structure covered in more cockle shells and topped with a large silvered glass ball that reflected everything in a distorted way, which was quite charming.
Mole’s face-beamed at the sight of all these objects so dear to him, and he hurried Rat through the door, lit a lamp in the hall, and took one glance round his old home. He saw the dust lying thick on everything, saw the cheerless, deserted look of the long-neglected house, and its narrow, meagre dimensions, its worn and shabby contents—and collapsed again on a hall-chair, his nose to his paws. “O Ratty!” he cried dismally, “why ever did I do it? Why did I bring you to this poor, cold little place, on a night like this, when you might have been at River Bank by this time, toasting your toes before a blazing fire, with all your own nice things about you!”
Mole's face lit up at the sight of all these familiar items, and he quickly led Rat through the door, turned on a lamp in the hall, and took a look around his old home. He noticed the thick layer of dust on everything and the bleak, abandoned look of the long-neglected house, with its small, sparse size and its worn-out, shabby furnishings—and he slumped back down on a hall chair, resting his nose on his paws. “Oh, Ratty!” he said sadly, “why did I do this? Why did I bring you to this poor, cold little place on a night like this, when you could've been at River Bank right now, warming your toes in front of a cozy fire, surrounded by all your nice things!”
The Rat paid no heed to his doleful self-reproaches. He was running here and there, opening doors, inspecting rooms and cupboards, and lighting lamps and candles and sticking them, up everywhere. “What a capital little house this is!” he called out cheerily. “So compact! So well planned! Everything here and everything in its place! We’ll make a jolly night of it. The first thing we want is a good fire; I’ll see to that—I always know where to find things. So this is the parlour? Splendid! Your own idea, those little sleeping-bunks in the wall? Capital! Now, I’ll fetch the wood and the coals, and you get a duster, Mole—you’ll find one in the drawer of the kitchen table—and try and smarten things up a bit. Bustle about, old chap!”
The Rat ignored his gloomy self-criticism. He was rushing around, opening doors, checking rooms and cabinets, lighting lamps and candles, and placing them everywhere. “What a great little house this is!” he said cheerfully. “So cozy! So well-designed! Everything here and everything in its place! We’re going to have a fun night. The first thing we need is a good fire; I’ll take care of that—I always know where to find things. So this is the living room? Awesome! Is that your idea, those little sleeping bunks in the wall? Great! Now, I’ll get the wood and the coal, and you grab a duster, Mole—you’ll find one in the kitchen table drawer—and try to tidy things up a bit. Get moving, buddy!”
Encouraged by his inspiriting companion, the Mole roused himself and dusted and polished with energy and heartiness, while the Rat, running to and fro with armfuls of fuel, soon had a cheerful blaze roaring up the chimney. He hailed the Mole to come and warm himself; but Mole promptly had another fit of the blues, dropping down on a couch in dark despair and burying his face in his duster. “Rat,” he moaned, “how about your supper, you poor, cold, hungry, weary animal? I’ve nothing to give you—nothing—not a crumb!”
Encouraged by his uplifting friend, the Mole got up and energetically brushed himself off while the Rat dashed around with loads of firewood, quickly getting a cheerful fire going in the fireplace. He called for the Mole to come warm up, but Mole suddenly fell into another spell of sadness, collapsing onto a couch in deep despair and hiding his face in his duster. “Rat,” he lamented, “what about your dinner, you poor, cold, hungry, tired creature? I have nothing to give you—nothing—not a crumb!”
“What a fellow you are for giving in!” said the Rat reproachfully. “Why, only just now I saw a sardine-opener on the kitchen dresser, quite distinctly; and everybody knows that means there are sardines about somewhere in the neighbourhood. Rouse yourself! pull yourself together, and come with me and forage.”
“What a guy you are for giving up!” the Rat said, sounding disappointed. “Just a moment ago, I saw a sardine opener on the kitchen counter, clear as day; and everyone knows that means there are sardines somewhere nearby. Get up! Pull yourself together, and come with me to scavenge.”
They went and foraged accordingly, hunting through every cupboard and turning out every drawer. The result was not so very depressing after all, though of course it might have been better; a tin of sardines—a box of captain’s biscuits, nearly full—and a German sausage encased in silver paper.
They went and searched as planned, going through every cupboard and emptying every drawer. The outcome wasn't as bad as they expected, although it could have been better; they found a can of sardines, a nearly full box of captain's biscuits, and a German sausage wrapped in silver paper.
“There’s a banquet for you!” observed the Rat, as he arranged the table. “I know some animals who would give their ears to be sitting down to supper with us to-night!”
“There’s a feast for you!” said the Rat, as he set the table. “I know some animals who would do anything to be having dinner with us tonight!”
“No bread!” groaned the Mole dolorously; “no butter, no——”
“No bread!” groaned the Mole sadly; “no butter, no——”
“No pâté de foie gras, no champagne!” continued the Rat, grinning. “And that reminds me—what’s that little door at the end of the passage? Your cellar, of course! Every luxury in this house! Just you wait a minute.”
“No pâté de foie gras, no champagne!” the Rat said with a grin. “And that reminds me—what's that small door at the end of the hallway? Your cellar, of course! Every luxury in this house! Just wait a minute.”
He made for the cellar-door, and presently reappeared, somewhat dusty, with a bottle of beer in each paw and another under each arm, “Self-indulgent beggar you seem to be, Mole,” he observed. “Deny yourself nothing. This is really the jolliest little place I ever was in. Now, wherever did you pick up those prints? Make the place look so home-like, they do. No wonder you’re so fond of it, Mole. Tell us all about it, and how you came to make it what it is.”
He headed for the cellar door and soon came back, a bit dusty, with a bottle of beer in each hand and another under each arm. “You really are quite the indulgent one, Mole,” he said. “You don’t hold back on anything. This is honestly the happiest little spot I’ve ever seen. So, where did you find those prints? They really make the place feel like home. No wonder you love it here, Mole. Tell us everything about it and how you turned it into what it is.”
Then, while the Rat busied himself fetching plates, and knives and forks, and mustard which he mixed in an egg-cup, the Mole, his bosom still heaving with the stress of his recent emotion, related—somewhat shyly at first, but with more freedom as he warmed to his subject—how this was planned, and how that was thought out, and how this was got through a windfall from an aunt, and that was a wonderful find and a bargain, and this other thing was bought out of laborious savings and a certain amount of “going without.” His spirits finally quite restored, he must needs go and caress his possessions, and take a lamp and show off their points to his visitor and expatiate on them, quite forgetful of the supper they both so much needed; Rat, who was desperately hungry but strove to conceal it, nodding seriously, examining with a puckered brow, and saying, “wonderful,” and “most remarkable,” at intervals, when the chance for an observation was given him.
Then, while the Rat occupied himself with getting plates, knives, forks, and mustard that he mixed in an egg cup, the Mole, still catching his breath from his recent excitement, started to share—somewhat shyly at first, but gaining confidence as he went on—how this was planned, and how that was thought out, and how this was made possible by a gift from an aunt, and that was a great find and a bargain, and another thing was bought with careful savings and some sacrificing. With his spirits lifted, he felt the need to go and admire his belongings, grabbing a lamp to show off the details to his guest and elaborate on them, completely forgetting about the much-needed supper for both of them; Rat, who was starving but tried to hide it, nodded seriously, studying with a furrowed brow and saying, “amazing,” and “most impressive,” when he had a moment to comment.
At last the Rat succeeded in decoying him to the table, and had just got seriously to work with the sardine-opener when sounds were heard from the fore-court without—sounds like the scuffling of small feet in the gravel and a confused murmur of tiny voices, while broken sentences reached them—“Now, all in a line—hold the lantern up a bit, Tommy—clear your throats first—no coughing after I say one, two, three.—Where’s young Bill?—Here, come on, do, we’re all a-waiting——”
At last, the Rat managed to lure him to the table and was just getting focused on the sardine opener when they heard sounds from the courtyard outside—sounds like small feet scuffling in the gravel and a mix of tiny voices. They could make out bits of conversation—“Now, line up—hold the lantern up a bit, Tommy—clear your throats first—no coughing after I say one, two, three.—Where’s young Bill?—Here, come on, let’s go, we’re all waiting——”
“What’s up?” inquired the Rat, pausing in his labours.
"What's going on?" asked the Rat, taking a break from his work.
“I think it must be the field-mice,” replied the Mole, with a touch of pride in his manner. “They go round carol-singing regularly at this time of the year. They’re quite an institution in these parts. And they never pass me over—they come to Mole End last of all; and I used to give them hot drinks, and supper too sometimes, when I could afford it. It will be like old times to hear them again.”
“I think it must be the field mice,” replied the Mole, with a hint of pride in his voice. “They go around singing carols regularly this time of year. They’re quite a tradition around here. And they never skip me—they come to Mole End last of all; and I used to give them hot drinks and sometimes supper, when I could afford it. It will feel like old times to hear them again.”
“Let’s have a look at them!” cried the Rat, jumping up and running to the door.
“Let’s check them out!” shouted the Rat, jumping up and running to the door.
It was a pretty sight, and a seasonable one, that met their eyes when they flung the door open. In the fore-court, lit by the dim rays of a horn lantern, some eight or ten little fieldmice stood in a semicircle, red worsted comforters round their throats, their fore-paws thrust deep into their pockets, their feet jigging for warmth. With bright beady eyes they glanced shyly at each other, sniggering a little, sniffing and applying coat-sleeves a good deal. As the door opened, one of the elder ones that carried the lantern was just saying, “Now then, one, two, three!” and forthwith their shrill little voices uprose on the air, singing one of the old-time carols that their forefathers composed in fields that were fallow and held by frost, or when snow-bound in chimney corners, and handed down to be sung in the miry street to lamp-lit windows at Yule-time.
It was a beautiful sight, and a fitting one, that greeted them when they opened the door. In the courtyard, illuminated by the faint glow of a lantern, about eight or ten little field mice stood in a semicircle, wearing red woolen scarves around their necks, their front paws dug deep into their pockets, their feet wiggling to stay warm. With bright, beady eyes, they glanced shyly at each other, shuffling a bit, sniffing, and rubbing their sleeves a lot. As the door swung open, one of the older mice holding the lantern was just saying, “Okay, one, two, three!” and right away their high-pitched voices filled the air, singing one of the old carols that their ancestors created in fields left lying fallow and frozen, or when snowed in by their fireplaces, passed down to be sung in the muddy streets to the lighted windows during the holiday season.
CAROL
Villagers all, this frosty tide,
Let your doors swing open wide,
Though wind may follow, and snow beside,
Yet draw us in by your fire to bide;
Joy shall be yours in the morning!
Here we stand in the cold and the sleet,
Blowing fingers and stamping feet,
Come from far away you to greet—
You by the fire and we in the street—
Bidding you joy in the morning!
For ere one half of the night was gone,
Sudden a star has led us on,
Raining bliss and benison—
Bliss to-morrow and more anon,
Joy for every morning!
Goodman Joseph toiled through the snow—
Saw the star o’er a stable low;
Mary she might not further go—
Welcome thatch, and litter below!
Joy was hers in the morning!
And then they heard the angels tell
“Who were the first to cry Nowell?
Animals all, as it befell,
In the stable where they did dwell!
Joy shall be theirs in the morning!”
CAROL
Villagers, all of you, in this chilly season,
Open your doors wide,
Even if the wind blows and snow falls,
Bring us close by your fire to stay;
Joy will be yours in the morning!
Here we are in the cold and sleet,
With frozen fingers and stomping feet,
We’ve traveled from far to greet you—
You by the fire and we in the street—
Wishing you joy in the morning!
For before half the night was done,
A star suddenly led us on,
Showering bliss and blessings—
Bliss for tomorrow and more to come,
Joy for every morning!
Goodman Joseph worked through the snow—
Saw the star above a humble stable;
Mary couldn’t go any further—
Welcome thatched roof and bedding below!
Joy was hers in the morning!
And then they heard the angels say,
“Who were the first to shout Nowell?
All the animals, as it happened,
In the stable where they lived!
Joy will be theirs in the morning!”
The voices ceased, the singers, bashful but smiling, exchanged sidelong glances, and silence succeeded—but for a moment only. Then, from up above and far away, down the tunnel they had so lately travelled was borne to their ears in a faint musical hum the sound of distant bells ringing a joyful and clangorous peal.
The voices stopped, the singers, shy but smiling, exchanged quick glances, and silence took over—but only for a moment. Then, from high above and far away, down the tunnel they had just traveled, a faint musical hum carried to their ears: the sound of distant bells ringing a joyful and loud peal.
“Very well sung, boys!” cried the Rat heartily. “And now come along in, all of you, and warm yourselves by the fire, and have something hot!”
“Great job singing, guys!” the Rat exclaimed warmly. “Now come on in, everyone, and warm up by the fire, and have something hot!”
“Yes, come along, field-mice,” cried the Mole eagerly. “This is quite like old times! Shut the door after you. Pull up that settle to the fire. Now, you just wait a minute, while we—O, Ratty!” he cried in despair, plumping down on a seat, with tears impending. “Whatever are we doing? We’ve nothing to give them!”
“Yes, come on, field mice,” the Mole shouted eagerly. “This feels just like old times! Close the door behind you. Bring that bench over to the fire. Now, just wait a minute while we—Oh, Ratty!” he exclaimed in despair, collapsing into a seat, with tears welling up. “What are we doing? We have nothing to offer them!”
“You leave all that to me,” said the masterful Rat. “Here, you with the lantern! Come over this way. I want to talk to you. Now, tell me, are there any shops open at this hour of the night?”
“You leave all that to me,” said the confident Rat. “Hey, you with the lantern! Come over here. I need to talk to you. So, tell me, are there any shops open at this time of night?”
“Why, certainly, sir,” replied the field-mouse respectfully. “At this time of the year our shops keep open to all sorts of hours.”
“Of course, sir,” replied the field-mouse respectfully. “At this time of year, our shops are open at all sorts of hours.”
“Then look here!” said the Rat. “You go off at once, you and your lantern, and you get me——”
“Then listen up!” said the Rat. “You need to head out right now, you and your lantern, and get me——”
Here much muttered conversation ensued, and the Mole only heard bits of it, such as—“Fresh, mind!—no, a pound of that will do—see you get Buggins’s, for I won’t have any other—no, only the best—if you can’t get it there, try somewhere else—yes, of course, home-made, no tinned stuff—well then, do the best you can!” Finally, there was a chink of coin passing from paw to paw, the field-mouse was provided with an ample basket for his purchases, and off he hurried, he and his lantern.
Here, a lot of quiet conversation took place, and the Mole only caught snippets of it, like—“Fresh, remember!—no, a pound of that will be fine—make sure to get Buggins’s, because I won’t accept any other—no, only the best—if you can’t find it there, look somewhere else—yes, of course, home-made, no canned stuff—well then, do your best!” Eventually, there was the sound of coins exchanging hands, the field-mouse was given a big basket for his shopping, and off he rushed, him and his lantern.
The rest of the field-mice, perched in a row on the settle, their small legs swinging, gave themselves up to enjoyment of the fire, and toasted their chilblains till they tingled; while the Mole, failing to draw them into easy conversation, plunged into family history and made each of them recite the names of his numerous brothers, who were too young, it appeared, to be allowed to go out a-carolling this year, but looked forward very shortly to winning the parental consent.
The rest of the field mice, sitting in a row on the bench with their little legs hanging, enjoyed the warmth of the fire and warmed their chilblains until they tingled. The Mole, unable to start a casual conversation with them, dove into family history and had each of them list the names of their many brothers, who, it seemed, were still too young to go out caroling this year but were eagerly anticipating getting their parents' approval soon.
The Rat, meanwhile, was busy examining the label on one of the beer-bottles. “I perceive this to be Old Burton,” he remarked approvingly. “Sensible Mole! The very thing! Now we shall be able to mull some ale! Get the things ready, Mole, while I draw the corks.”
The Rat was busy checking the label on one of the beer bottles. “I think this is Old Burton,” he said with approval. “Smart Mole! Exactly what we need! Now we can heat up some ale! Get everything ready, Mole, while I open the bottles.”
It did not take long to prepare the brew and thrust the tin heater well into the red heart of the fire; and soon every field-mouse was sipping and coughing and choking (for a little mulled ale goes a long way) and wiping his eyes and laughing and forgetting he had ever been cold in all his life.
It didn’t take long to make the drink and push the tin heater deep into the hot fire; and soon every field mouse was sipping, coughing, and choking (because a little mulled ale packs a punch) and wiping their eyes and laughing, forgetting they had ever felt cold in their lives.
“They act plays too, these fellows,” the Mole explained to the Rat. “Make them up all by themselves, and act them afterwards. And very well they do it, too! They gave us a capital one last year, about a field-mouse who was captured at sea by a Barbary corsair, and made to row in a galley; and when he escaped and got home again, his lady-love had gone into a convent. Here, you! You were in it, I remember. Get up and recite a bit.”
“They put on plays too, these guys,” the Mole explained to the Rat. “They create them entirely on their own and perform them afterward. And they do it really well! They put on a great one last year about a field mouse who was captured at sea by a Barbary pirate and forced to row in a galley; and when he escaped and got back home, his lady love had gone into a convent. Here, you! You were in it, I remember. Come on and recite a bit.”
The field-mouse addressed got up on his legs, giggled shyly, looked round the room, and remained absolutely tongue-tied. His comrades cheered him on, Mole coaxed and encouraged him, and the Rat went so far as to take him by the shoulders and shake him; but nothing could overcome his stage-fright. They were all busily engaged on him like watermen applying the Royal Humane Society’s regulations to a case of long submersion, when the latch clicked, the door opened, and the field-mouse with the lantern reappeared, staggering under the weight of his basket.
The field mouse stood up on his legs, giggled shyly, looked around the room, and completely froze. His friends cheered him on, Mole encouraged him, and Rat even grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, but nothing could get rid of his stage fright. They were all focused on him like watermen following the Royal Humane Society’s guidelines for someone who had been underwater too long, when the latch clicked, the door opened, and the field mouse with the lantern came back, struggling under the weight of his basket.
There was no more talk of play-acting once the very real and solid contents of the basket had been tumbled out on the table. Under the generalship of Rat, everybody was set to do something or to fetch something. In a very few minutes supper was ready, and Mole, as he took the head of the table in a sort of a dream, saw a lately barren board set thick with savoury comforts; saw his little friends’ faces brighten and beam as they fell to without delay; and then let himself loose—for he was famished indeed—on the provender so magically provided, thinking what a happy home-coming this had turned out, after all. As they ate, they talked of old times, and the field-mice gave him the local gossip up to date, and answered as well as they could the hundred questions he had to ask them. The Rat said little or nothing, only taking care that each guest had what he wanted, and plenty of it, and that Mole had no trouble or anxiety about anything.
There was no more talk of pretending once the real and substantial contents of the basket were spilled out on the table. Under Rat's direction, everyone was ready to do something or fetch something. Within minutes, dinner was ready, and Mole, taking the head of the table in a sort of daze, saw what had once been an empty space now filled with delicious dishes; he watched his little friends’ faces light up as they dug in without hesitation; and then he let himself go—because he was truly starving—on the food so magically provided, thinking about how this had turned into such a happy homecoming, after all. As they ate, they reminisced about old times, and the field-mice brought him up to speed on the local gossip, doing their best to answer the hundred questions he had. Rat said very little, just making sure that each guest had what they needed, enough of it, and that Mole had no worries or concerns about anything.
They clattered off at last, very grateful and showering wishes of the season, with their jacket pockets stuffed with remembrances for the small brothers and sisters at home. When the door had closed on the last of them and the chink of the lanterns had died away, Mole and Rat kicked the fire up, drew their chairs in, brewed themselves a last nightcap of mulled ale, and discussed the events of the long day. At last the Rat, with a tremendous yawn, said, “Mole, old chap, I’m ready to drop. Sleepy is simply not the word. That your own bunk over on that side? Very well, then, I’ll take this. What a ripping little house this is! Everything so handy!”
They finally left, really thankful and wishing each other well for the season, their jacket pockets filled with gifts for their little brothers and sisters at home. When the door closed behind the last one and the sound of the lanterns faded away, Mole and Rat stoked the fire, pulled their chairs closer, brewed themselves one last drink of mulled ale, and talked about the events of the long day. Finally, Rat let out a huge yawn and said, “Mole, buddy, I’m about to pass out. Sleepy doesn’t even begin to describe it. Is that your bed over there? Great, I’ll take this one. What a charming little house this is! Everything so convenient!”
He clambered into his bunk and rolled himself well up in the blankets, and slumber gathered him forthwith, as a swathe of barley is folded into the arms of the reaping machine.
He climbed into his bunk and wrapped himself tightly in the blankets, and sleep took him immediately, like a bundle of barley being pulled into a harvester.
The weary Mole also was glad to turn in without delay, and soon had his head on his pillow, in great joy and contentment. But ere he closed his eyes he let them wander round his old room, mellow in the glow of the firelight that played or rested on familiar and friendly things which had long been unconsciously a part of him, and now smilingly received him back, without rancour. He was now in just the frame of mind that the tactful Rat had quietly worked to bring about in him. He saw clearly how plain and simple—how narrow, even—it all was; but clearly, too, how much it all meant to him, and the special value of some such anchorage in one’s existence. He did not at all want to abandon the new life and its splendid spaces, to turn his back on sun and air and all they offered him and creep home and stay there; the upper world was all too strong, it called to him still, even down there, and he knew he must return to the larger stage. But it was good to think he had this to come back to; this place which was all his own, these things which were so glad to see him again and could always be counted upon for the same simple welcome.
The tired Mole was also happy to go to bed without delay, and soon had his head on his pillow, feeling joyful and content. But before he closed his eyes, he let them wander around his familiar old room, glowing in the firelight that played on the friendly things that had long been an unconscious part of him, now welcoming him back with no hard feelings. He was in just the right state of mind that the thoughtful Rat had quietly helped him achieve. He clearly saw how plain and simple—how limited, even—it all was; but he also saw how much it all meant to him, and the special value of having a solid base in his life. He didn’t want to give up the new life and its amazing spaces, to turn his back on the sun and air and all they offered, and just go home and stay there; the upper world was too powerful, calling to him even from down there, and he knew he had to return to the bigger stage. But it felt good to know he had this place to come back to; this space that was entirely his, with things that were so happy to see him again and could always be relied on for a warm welcome.
VI.
MR. TOAD
It was a bright morning in the early part of summer; the river had resumed its wonted banks and its accustomed pace, and a hot sun seemed to be pulling everything green and bushy and spiky up out of the earth towards him, as if by strings. The Mole and the Water Rat had been up since dawn, very busy on matters connected with boats and the opening of the boating season; painting and varnishing, mending paddles, repairing cushions, hunting for missing boat-hooks, and so on; and were finishing breakfast in their little parlour and eagerly discussing their plans for the day, when a heavy knock sounded at the door.
It was a sunny morning at the start of summer; the river had settled back into its usual banks and regular flow, and the hot sun seemed to be pulling everything green, bushy, and spiky out of the earth towards it, as if by strings. The Mole and the Water Rat had been up since dawn, busy with tasks related to boats and getting ready for the boating season; painting and varnishing, fixing paddles, repairing cushions, searching for missing boat-hooks, and so on; and they were finishing breakfast in their small lounge while excitedly discussing their plans for the day when a loud knock echoed at the door.
“Bother!” said the Rat, all over egg. “See who it is, Mole, like a good chap, since you’ve finished.”
“Ugh!” said the Rat, covered in egg. “Check who it is, Mole, like a good friend, now that you’re done.”
The Mole went to attend the summons, and the Rat heard him utter a cry of surprise. Then he flung the parlour door open, and announced with much importance, “Mr. Badger!”
The Mole went to respond to the call, and the Rat heard him let out a shout of surprise. Then he swung the parlor door open and declared with great significance, “Mr. Badger!”
This was a wonderful thing, indeed, that the Badger should pay a formal call on them, or indeed on anybody. He generally had to be caught, if you wanted him badly, as he slipped quietly along a hedgerow of an early morning or a late evening, or else hunted up in his own house in the middle of the Wood, which was a serious undertaking.
This was truly a great thing that the Badger would pay a formal visit to them, or anyone for that matter. Usually, you had to corner him if you really wanted to see him, as he quietly moved along a hedgerow in the early morning or late evening, or you had to track him down in his home deep in the Wood, which was no easy task.
The Badger strode heavily into the room, and stood looking at the two animals with an expression full of seriousness. The Rat let his egg-spoon fall on the table-cloth, and sat open-mouthed.
The Badger walked into the room with purpose and looked at the two animals with a serious expression. The Rat dropped his egg spoon onto the tablecloth, sitting there with his mouth agape.
“The hour has come!” said the Badger at last with great solemnity.
“The time has come!” said the Badger at last with great seriousness.
“What hour?” asked the Rat uneasily, glancing at the clock on the mantelpiece.
“What time is it?” asked the Rat nervously, looking at the clock on the mantel.
“Whose hour, you should rather say,” replied the Badger. “Why, Toad’s hour! The hour of Toad! I said I would take him in hand as soon as the winter was well over, and I’m going to take him in hand to-day!”
“Whose hour, you should say instead,” replied the Badger. “Why, it’s Toad’s hour! The hour of Toad! I said I would deal with him as soon as winter was done, and I’m going to do that today!”
“Toad’s hour, of course!” cried the Mole delightedly. “Hooray! I remember now! We’ll teach him to be a sensible Toad!”
“Toad’s hour, of course!” the Mole exclaimed excitedly. “Hooray! I remember now! We’ll teach him to be a sensible Toad!”
“This very morning,” continued the Badger, taking an arm-chair, “as I learnt last night from a trustworthy source, another new and exceptionally powerful motor-car will arrive at Toad Hall on approval or return. At this very moment, perhaps, Toad is busy arraying himself in those singularly hideous habiliments so dear to him, which transform him from a (comparatively) good-looking Toad into an Object which throws any decent-minded animal that comes across it into a violent fit. We must be up and doing, ere it is too late. You two animals will accompany me instantly to Toad Hall, and the work of rescue shall be accomplished.”
“This very morning,” continued the Badger, taking a seat, “I learned last night from a reliable source that another brand new and incredibly powerful car will arrive at Toad Hall on approval or return. Right now, Toad is probably busy getting himself dressed in those outrageously ugly clothes that he loves so much, which turn him from a (relatively) good-looking Toad into something that makes any decent animal who sees it want to have a meltdown. We need to act quickly before it’s too late. You two will come with me right now to Toad Hall, and we will save him.”
“Right you are!” cried the Rat, starting up. “We’ll rescue the poor unhappy animal! We’ll convert him! He’ll be the most converted Toad that ever was before we’ve done with him!”
“Exactly!” shouted the Rat, springing to his feet. “We’ll save that poor, unhappy creature! We’ll change him! He’ll be the most changed Toad there’s ever been by the time we’re done with him!”
They set off up the road on their mission of mercy, Badger leading the way. Animals when in company walk in a proper and sensible manner, in single file, instead of sprawling all across the road and being of no use or support to each other in case of sudden trouble or danger.
They started up the road on their mission of mercy, with Badger in the lead. When animals are together, they walk in an orderly and sensible way, in a single file, instead of spreading out across the road and not being able to support one another in case of sudden trouble or danger.
They reached the carriage-drive of Toad Hall to find, as the Badger had anticipated, a shiny new motor-car, of great size, painted a bright red (Toad’s favourite colour), standing in front of the house. As they neared the door it was flung open, and Mr. Toad, arrayed in goggles, cap, gaiters, and enormous overcoat, came swaggering down the steps, drawing on his gauntleted gloves.
They arrived at the driveway of Toad Hall to find, as the Badger had expected, a shiny new car, quite large, painted bright red (Toad’s favorite color), parked in front of the house. As they got closer to the door, it swung open, and Mr. Toad, dressed in goggles, a cap, gaiters, and a huge overcoat, swaggered down the steps, putting on his gloves.
“Hullo! come on, you fellows!” he cried cheerfully on catching sight of them. “You’re just in time to come with me for a jolly—to come for a jolly—for a—er—jolly——”
“Hey! Come on, you guys!” he called out cheerfully when he spotted them. “You’re just in time to join me for some fun—to come for some fun—for a—uh—fun——”
His hearty accents faltered and fell away as he noticed the stern unbending look on the countenances of his silent friends, and his invitation remained unfinished.
His cheerful tone wavered and faded as he noticed the serious, unyielding expressions on the faces of his silent friends, and his invitation stayed incomplete.
The Badger strode up the steps. “Take him inside,” he said sternly to his companions. Then, as Toad was hustled through the door, struggling and protesting, he turned to the chauffeur in charge of the new motor-car.
The Badger walked up the steps. “Get him inside,” he said firmly to his friends. Then, as Toad was pushed through the door, fighting and complaining, he turned to the chauffeur in charge of the new car.
“I’m afraid you won’t be wanted to-day,” he said. “Mr. Toad has changed his mind. He will not require the car. Please understand that this is final. You needn’t wait.” Then he followed the others inside and shut the door.
“I’m sorry, but you won’t be needed today,” he said. “Mr. Toad has had a change of heart. He won’t need the car. Please know that this is final. You don’t have to wait.” Then he went inside with the others and closed the door.
“Now then!” he said to the Toad, when the four of them stood together in the Hall, “first of all, take those ridiculous things off!”
“Alright then!” he said to the Toad, when the four of them were standing together in the Hall, “first of all, take off those ridiculous things!”
“Shan’t!” replied Toad, with great spirit. “What is the meaning of this gross outrage? I demand an instant explanation.”
“Won’t!” replied Toad, energetically. “What’s the meaning of this outrageous behavior? I want an explanation right now.”
“Take them off him, then, you two,” ordered the Badger briefly.
"Take them off him, then, you two," the Badger ordered curtly.
They had to lay Toad out on the floor, kicking and calling all sorts of names, before they could get to work properly. Then the Rat sat on him, and the Mole got his motor-clothes off him bit by bit, and they stood him up on his legs again. A good deal of his blustering spirit seemed to have evaporated with the removal of his fine panoply. Now that he was merely Toad, and no longer the Terror of the Highway, he giggled feebly and looked from one to the other appealingly, seeming quite to understand the situation.
They had to lay Toad out on the floor, kicking and calling him all sorts of names before they could get to work properly. Then the Rat sat on him, and the Mole took off his fancy clothes piece by piece, and they stood him up on his legs again. A lot of his blustering confidence seemed to have vanished with the removal of his stylish outfit. Now that he was just Toad, no longer the Terror of the Highway, he giggled weakly and looked from one to the other for reassurance, seeming to totally understand what was going on.
“You knew it must come to this, sooner or later, Toad,” the Badger explained severely.
“You knew this day would come, Toad,” the Badger said sternly.
You’ve disregarded all the warnings we’ve given you, you’ve gone on squandering the money your father left you, and you’re getting us animals a bad name in the district by your furious driving and your smashes and your rows with the police. Independence is all very well, but we animals never allow our friends to make fools of themselves beyond a certain limit; and that limit you’ve reached. Now, you’re a good fellow in many respects, and I don’t want to be too hard on you. I’ll make one more effort to bring you to reason. You will come with me into the smoking-room, and there you will hear some facts about yourself; and we’ll see whether you come out of that room the same Toad that you went in.”
You’ve ignored all the warnings we’ve given you, you’ve continued to waste the money your father left you, and you’re giving us animals a bad reputation in the area with your reckless driving, accidents, and fights with the police. Independence is fine, but we animals don’t let our friends embarrass themselves beyond a point; and you’ve definitely hit that point. Now, you’re a decent guy in many ways, and I don’t want to be too hard on you. I’ll make one more attempt to get you to see reason. You’re going to come with me into the smoking room, and there you’ll hear some truths about yourself; and we’ll see if you come out of that room the same Toad you went in as.
He took Toad firmly by the arm, led him into the smoking-room, and closed the door behind them.
He grabbed Toad by the arm, led him into the smoking room, and shut the door behind them.
“That’s no good!” said the Rat contemptuously. “Talking to Toad’ll never cure him. He’ll say anything.”
“That's not going to work!” the Rat said with disdain. “Talking to Toad won’t fix him. He’ll say whatever.”
They made themselves comfortable in armchairs and waited patiently. Through the closed door they could just hear the long continuous drone of the Badger’s voice, rising and falling in waves of oratory; and presently they noticed that the sermon began to be punctuated at intervals by long-drawn sobs, evidently proceeding from the bosom of Toad, who was a soft-hearted and affectionate fellow, very easily converted—for the time being—to any point of view.
They settled into armchairs and waited patiently. Through the closed door, they could faintly hear the Badger’s voice droning on, rising and falling in waves of speech; soon, they noticed that the sermon was being interrupted at intervals by long, drawn-out sobs, clearly coming from Toad, who was a sentimental and loving guy, easily swayed—for the moment—to any perspective.
After some three-quarters of an hour the door opened, and the Badger reappeared, solemnly leading by the paw a very limp and dejected Toad. His skin hung baggily about him, his legs wobbled, and his cheeks were furrowed by the tears so plentifully called forth by the Badger’s moving discourse.
After about three-quarters of an hour, the door opened, and the Badger came back, seriously guiding a very limp and downcast Toad by the paw. His skin hung loosely around him, his legs shook, and his cheeks were lined with the tears that the Badger’s heartfelt speech had drawn out.
“Sit down there, Toad,” said the Badger kindly, pointing to a chair. “My friends,” he went on, “I am pleased to inform you that Toad has at last seen the error of his ways. He is truly sorry for his misguided conduct in the past, and he has undertaken to give up motor-cars entirely and for ever. I have his solemn promise to that effect.”
“Sit down there, Toad,” the Badger said kindly, pointing to a chair. “My friends,” he continued, “I’m happy to let you know that Toad has finally realized he was wrong. He sincerely regrets his past behavior and has committed to giving up motor cars completely and for good. I have his solemn promise on that.”
“That is very good news,” said the Mole gravely.
"That's really good news," said the Mole seriously.
“Very good news indeed,” observed the Rat dubiously, “if only—if only——”
“Great news for sure,” the Rat said uncertainly, “if only—if only——”
He was looking very hard at Toad as he said this, and could not help thinking he perceived something vaguely resembling a twinkle in that animal’s still sorrowful eye.
He was staring intently at Toad as he said this and couldn’t shake the feeling that he saw something that looked like a twinkle in the animal’s still sad eye.
“There’s only one thing more to be done,” continued the gratified Badger. “Toad, I want you solemnly to repeat, before your friends here, what you fully admitted to me in the smoking-room just now. First, you are sorry for what you’ve done, and you see the folly of it all?”
“There's just one more thing we need to do,” the pleased Badger said. “Toad, I want you to seriously say, in front of your friends here, what you just admitted to me in the smoking room. First, you regret what you've done, and you understand how foolish it all was?”
There was a long, long pause. Toad looked desperately this way and that, while the other animals waited in grave silence. At last he spoke.
There was a really long pause. Toad looked anxiously around while the other animals waited in serious silence. Finally, he spoke.
“No!” he said, a little sullenly, but stoutly; “I’m not sorry. And it wasn’t folly at all! It was simply glorious!”
“No!” he said, a bit sulky but with determination; “I’m not sorry. And it wasn’t foolish at all! It was simply amazing!”
“What?” cried the Badger, greatly scandalised. “You backsliding animal, didn’t you tell me just now, in there——”
“What?” shouted the Badger, highly offended. “You two-faced creature, didn’t you just tell me back there——”
“Oh, yes, yes, in there,” said Toad impatiently. “I’d have said anything in there. You’re so eloquent, dear Badger, and so moving, and so convincing, and put all your points so frightfully well—you can do what you like with me in there, and you know it. But I’ve been searching my mind since, and going over things in it, and I find that I’m not a bit sorry or repentant really, so it’s no earthly good saying I am; now, is it?”
“Oh, yes, yes, in there,” said Toad impatiently. “I would’ve said anything in there. You’re so articulate, dear Badger, and so moving, and so persuasive, and you express all your points so incredibly well—you can do whatever you want with me in there, and you know it. But I’ve been reflecting on everything since then, and I realize that I’m not at all sorry or regretful, so it’s pointless to say I am; right?”
“Then you don’t promise,” said the Badger, “never to touch a motor-car again?”
“Then you’re not promising,” said the Badger, “that you’ll never touch a car again?”
“Certainly not!” replied Toad emphatically. “On the contrary, I faithfully promise that the very first motor-car I see, poop-poop! off I go in it!”
“Absolutely not!” Toad replied firmly. “In fact, I promise that the very first car I see, beep-beep! I’ll take off in it!”
“Told you so, didn’t I?” observed the Rat to the Mole.
“Told you so, didn’t I?” said the Rat to the Mole.
“Very well, then,” said the Badger firmly, rising to his feet. “Since you won’t yield to persuasion, we’ll try what force can do. I feared it would come to this all along. You’ve often asked us three to come and stay with you, Toad, in this handsome house of yours; well, now we’re going to. When we’ve converted you to a proper point of view we may quit, but not before. Take him upstairs, you two, and lock him up in his bedroom, while we arrange matters between ourselves.”
“Alright then,” said the Badger firmly, getting to his feet. “Since you won’t listen to reason, we’ll see what force can do. I was worried it would come to this all along. You’ve often invited us three to come and stay with you, Toad, in your lovely house; well, now we’re going to. We won’t leave until we’ve changed your perspective, so don’t count on it. Take him upstairs, you two, and lock him in his bedroom while we sort things out among ourselves.”
“It’s for your own good, Toady, you know,” said the Rat kindly, as Toad, kicking and struggling, was hauled up the stairs by his two faithful friends. “Think what fun we shall all have together, just as we used to, when you’ve quite got over this—this painful attack of yours!”
“It’s for your own good, Toady, you know,” said the Rat kindly, as Toad, kicking and struggling, was dragged up the stairs by his two loyal friends. “Just think about how much fun we’ll all have together again, like we used to, once you get past this—this tough patch you’re going through!”
“We’ll take great care of everything for you till you’re well, Toad,” said the Mole; “and we’ll see your money isn’t wasted, as it has been.”
“We’ll take great care of everything for you until you’re better, Toad,” said the Mole; “and we’ll make sure your money isn’t wasted, like it has been.”
“No more of those regrettable incidents with the police, Toad,” said the Rat, as they thrust him into his bedroom.
“No more of those regrettable run-ins with the police, Toad,” said the Rat, as they pushed him into his bedroom.
“And no more weeks in hospital, being ordered about by female nurses, Toad,” added the Mole, turning the key on him.
“And no more weeks in the hospital, being bossed around by female nurses, Toad,” the Mole added, locking him in.
They descended the stair, Toad shouting abuse at them through the keyhole; and the three friends then met in conference on the situation.
They went down the stairs, Toad yelling insults at them through the keyhole; and the three friends then gathered to discuss the situation.
“It’s going to be a tedious business,” said the Badger, sighing. “I’ve never seen Toad so determined. However, we will see it out. He must never be left an instant unguarded. We shall have to take it in turns to be with him, till the poison has worked itself out of his system.”
“It’s going to be a tough job,” said the Badger, sighing. “I’ve never seen Toad so set on this. But we’ll get through it. He can’t be left alone for even a moment. We’ll have to take turns staying with him until the poison is out of his system.”
They arranged watches accordingly. Each animal took it in turns to sleep in Toad’s room at night, and they divided the day up between them. At first Toad was undoubtedly very trying to his careful guardians. When his violent paroxysms possessed him he would arrange bedroom chairs in rude resemblance of a motor-car and would crouch on the foremost of them, bent forward and staring fixedly ahead, making uncouth and ghastly noises, till the climax was reached, when, turning a complete somersault, he would lie prostrate amidst the ruins of the chairs, apparently completely satisfied for the moment. As time passed, however, these painful seizures grew gradually less frequent, and his friends strove to divert his mind into fresh channels. But his interest in other matters did not seem to revive, and he grew apparently languid and depressed.
They organized shifts for watching over Toad. Each animal took turns sleeping in Toad’s room at night, and they divided the day among themselves. At first, Toad was undoubtedly very difficult for his careful guardians. When his wild outbursts took over, he would set up bedroom chairs to look like a motor car and would crouch on the front one, leaning forward and staring ahead, making weird and disturbing noises until he reached a peak, at which point he would do a complete somersault and lie sprawled out among the wreckage of the chairs, seemingly satisfied for the moment. As time went on, though, these troubling episodes became less frequent, and his friends tried to redirect his focus to other things. But his interest in different activities didn’t seem to come back, and he appeared increasingly weak and depressed.
One fine morning the Rat, whose turn it was to go on duty, went upstairs to relieve Badger, whom he found fidgeting to be off and stretch his legs in a long ramble round his wood and down his earths and burrows. “Toad’s still in bed,” he told the Rat, outside the door. “Can’t get much out of him, except, ‘O leave him alone, he wants nothing, perhaps he’ll be better presently, it may pass off in time, don’t be unduly anxious,’ and so on. Now, you look out, Rat! When Toad’s quiet and submissive and playing at being the hero of a Sunday-school prize, then he’s at his artfullest. There’s sure to be something up. I know him. Well, now, I must be off.”
One fine morning, the Rat, who was on duty, went upstairs to relieve Badger, who was eager to get outside and take a long walk through the woods and down his burrows. “Toad’s still in bed,” he told the Rat outside the door. “I can’t get much out of him, except, ‘Oh, leave him alone, he wants nothing, maybe he’ll be better soon, it might pass in time, don’t worry too much,’ and so on. Now, watch out, Rat! When Toad is quiet and acting all humble, pretending to be a saint, that’s when he’s being the most cunning. There’s definitely something going on. I know him. Anyway, I need to head out now.”
“How are you to-day, old chap?” inquired the Rat cheerfully, as he approached Toad’s bedside.
“How are you today, buddy?” the Rat asked cheerfully as he walked up to Toad's bedside.
He had to wait some minutes for an answer. At last a feeble voice replied, “Thank you so much, dear Ratty! So good of you to inquire! But first tell me how you are yourself, and the excellent Mole?”
He had to wait a few minutes for a response. Finally, a weak voice replied, “Thank you so much, dear Ratty! It’s so kind of you to ask! But first, tell me how you are and how the wonderful Mole is doing?”
“O, we’re all right,” replied the Rat. “Mole,” he added incautiously, “is going out for a run round with Badger. They’ll be out till luncheon time, so you and I will spend a pleasant morning together, and I’ll do my best to amuse you. Now jump up, there’s a good fellow, and don’t lie moping there on a fine morning like this!”
“O, we’re all good,” replied the Rat. “Mole,” he added carelessly, “is going out for a run with Badger. They’ll be out until lunchtime, so you and I will have a nice morning together, and I’ll do my best to entertain you. Now get up, be a good sport, and don’t just lie around feeling sorry for yourself on such a nice morning!”
“Dear, kind Rat,” murmured Toad, “how little you realise my condition, and how very far I am from ‘jumping up’ now—if ever! But do not trouble about me. I hate being a burden to my friends, and I do not expect to be one much longer. Indeed, I almost hope not.”
“Dear, kind Rat,” whispered Toad, “you have no idea how serious my situation is, and how far I am from ‘jumping up’ now—if I ever will! But don’t worry about me. I dislike being a burden to my friends, and I don’t expect to be one for much longer. In fact, I almost hope I won’t be.”
“Well, I hope not, too,” said the Rat heartily. “You’ve been a fine bother to us all this time, and I’m glad to hear it’s going to stop. And in weather like this, and the boating season just beginning! It’s too bad of you, Toad! It isn’t the trouble we mind, but you’re making us miss such an awful lot.”
“Well, I hope not, either,” said the Rat enthusiastically. “You’ve been quite a hassle for all of us, and I’m happy to hear it’s finally going to end. Especially with this weather and the boating season just starting! It’s really inconsiderate of you, Toad! It’s not the trouble that bothers us, but you’re making us miss out on so much.”
“I’m afraid it is the trouble you mind, though,” replied the Toad languidly. “I can quite understand it. It’s natural enough. You’re tired of bothering about me. I mustn’t ask you to do anything further. I’m a nuisance, I know.”
“I’m afraid it is the trouble you care about, though,” replied the Toad wearily. “I totally get it. It’s perfectly understandable. You’re tired of worrying about me. I shouldn’t ask you to do anything more. I know I’m a hassle.”
“You are, indeed,” said the Rat. “But I tell you, I’d take any trouble on earth for you, if only you’d be a sensible animal.”
“You're right,” said the Rat. “But I swear, I’d go through any trouble for you if only you'd act a bit more sensible.”
“If I thought that, Ratty,” murmured Toad, more feebly than ever, “then I would beg you—for the last time, probably—to step round to the village as quickly as possible—even now it may be too late—and fetch the doctor. But don’t you bother. It’s only a trouble, and perhaps we may as well let things take their course.”
“If I thought that, Ratty,” whispered Toad, sounding weaker than ever, “then I would ask you—for what’s probably the last time—to run to the village as fast as you can—even now it might be too late—and get the doctor. But don’t worry about it. It’s probably a hassle, and maybe we should just let things unfold as they will.”
“Why, what do you want a doctor for?” inquired the Rat, coming closer and examining him. He certainly lay very still and flat, and his voice was weaker and his manner much changed.
“Why do you need a doctor?” asked the Rat, moving closer to look at him. He was definitely lying very still and flat, and his voice was weaker, and his demeanor was noticeably different.
“Surely you have noticed of late——” murmured Toad. “But, no—why should you? Noticing things is only a trouble. To-morrow, indeed, you may be saying to yourself, ‘O, if only I had noticed sooner! If only I had done something!’ But no; it’s a trouble. Never mind—forget that I asked.”
“Surely you’ve noticed lately—” Toad murmured. “But no—why should you? Noticing things is just a hassle. Tomorrow, you might find yourself thinking, ‘Oh, if only I’d noticed sooner! If only I’d done something!’ But no; it’s a hassle. Never mind—forget I asked.”
“Look here, old man,” said the Rat, beginning to get rather alarmed, “of course I’ll fetch a doctor to you, if you really think you want him. But you can hardly be bad enough for that yet. Let’s talk about something else.”
“Listen, old man,” said the Rat, starting to feel a bit worried, “of course I’ll get a doctor for you if you really think you need one. But you can’t be that bad yet. Let’s chat about something else.”
“I fear, dear friend,” said Toad, with a sad smile, “that ‘talk’ can do little in a case like this—or doctors either, for that matter; still, one must grasp at the slightest straw. And, by the way—while you are about it—I hate to give you additional trouble, but I happen to remember that you will pass the door—would you mind at the same time asking the lawyer to step up? It would be a convenience to me, and there are moments—perhaps I should say there is a moment—when one must face disagreeable tasks, at whatever cost to exhausted nature!”
“I’m afraid, my dear friend,” said Toad, with a sad smile, “that ‘talk’ can’t do much in a situation like this—or doctors either, for that matter; still, one has to grasp at the faintest hope. And, by the way—since you’re on your way— I hate to bother you further, but I just remembered that you’ll be passing the door—would you mind also asking the lawyer to come up? It would really help me out, and there are times—maybe I should say there is one time—when you have to tackle unpleasant tasks, no matter how draining it might be!”
“A lawyer! O, he must be really bad!” the affrighted Rat said to himself, as he hurried from the room, not forgetting, however, to lock the door carefully behind him.
“A lawyer! Oh, he must be really awful!” the terrified Rat thought to himself as he rushed out of the room, making sure to lock the door carefully behind him.
Outside, he stopped to consider. The other two were far away, and he had no one to consult.
Outside, he paused to think. The other two were far off, and he had no one to talk to.
“It’s best to be on the safe side,” he said, on reflection. “I’ve known Toad fancy himself frightfully bad before, without the slightest reason; but I’ve never heard him ask for a lawyer! If there’s nothing really the matter, the doctor will tell him he’s an old ass, and cheer him up; and that will be something gained. I’d better humour him and go; it won’t take very long.” So he ran off to the village on his errand of mercy.
“It’s better to be safe than sorry,” he said, thinking it over. “I’ve seen Toad think he’s in real trouble before, without any reason at all; but I’ve never heard him ask for a lawyer! If there’s nothing actually wrong, the doctor will just tell him he’s being ridiculous and make him feel better; and that’s something. I should just go along with him and go; it won’t take long.” So he dashed off to the village on his mission of kindness.
The Toad, who had hopped lightly out of bed as soon as he heard the key turned in the lock, watched him eagerly from the window till he disappeared down the carriage-drive. Then, laughing heartily, he dressed as quickly as possible in the smartest suit he could lay hands on at the moment, filled his pockets with cash which he took from a small drawer in the dressing-table, and next, knotting the sheets from his bed together and tying one end of the improvised rope round the central mullion of the handsome Tudor window which formed such a feature of his bedroom, he scrambled out, slid lightly to the ground, and, taking the opposite direction to the Rat, marched off lightheartedly, whistling a merry tune.
The Toad, who had jumped out of bed as soon as he heard the key turn in the lock, eagerly watched him from the window until he disappeared down the driveway. Then, laughing loudly, he quickly got dressed in the best suit he could find, filled his pockets with cash from a small drawer in the dresser, and next, tied the sheets from his bed together, securing one end of the makeshift rope to the central post of the beautiful Tudor window that was a main feature of his bedroom. He scrambled out, slid down to the ground, and taking a different path than the Rat, happily walked off, whistling a cheerful tune.
It was a gloomy luncheon for Rat when the Badger and the Mole at length returned, and he had to face them at table with his pitiful and unconvincing story. The Badger’s caustic, not to say brutal, remarks may be imagined, and therefore passed over; but it was painful to the Rat that even the Mole, though he took his friend’s side as far as possible, could not help saying, “You’ve been a bit of a duffer this time, Ratty! Toad, too, of all animals!”
It was a dreary lunch for Rat when Badger and Mole finally came back, and he had to sit at the table with his weak and unconvincing story. One can only imagine Badger's harsh, not to mention cruel, comments, so we'll skip those; but it hurt Rat that even Mole, though he supported his friend as much as he could, couldn't help but say, “You really messed up this time, Ratty! Toad, of all animals!”
“He did it awfully well,” said the crestfallen Rat.
“He did it really well,” said the disappointed Rat.
“He did you awfully well!” rejoined the Badger hotly. “However, talking won’t mend matters. He’s got clear away for the time, that’s certain; and the worst of it is, he’ll be so conceited with what he’ll think is his cleverness that he may commit any folly. One comfort is, we’re free now, and needn’t waste any more of our precious time doing sentry-go. But we’d better continue to sleep at Toad Hall for a while longer. Toad may be brought back at any moment—on a stretcher, or between two policemen.”
“He did you really well!” the Badger replied angrily. “Still, talking won’t fix things. He’s got to stay away for now, that’s for sure; and the worst part is, he’ll be so full of himself thinking he’s clever that he might do anything foolish. One good thing is, we’re free now and don’t have to waste any more of our valuable time standing guard. But we should probably keep staying at Toad Hall a bit longer. Toad could be brought back at any time—on a stretcher or between two cops.”
So spoke the Badger, not knowing what the future held in store, or how much water, and of how turbid a character, was to run under bridges before Toad should sit at ease again in his ancestral Hall.
So said the Badger, not knowing what the future would bring, or how much troubled water would flow under bridges before Toad could relax again in his family Hall.
Meanwhile, Toad, gay and irresponsible, was walking briskly along the high road, some miles from home. At first he had taken by-paths, and crossed many fields, and changed his course several times, in case of pursuit; but now, feeling by this time safe from recapture, and the sun smiling brightly on him, and all Nature joining in a chorus of approval to the song of self-praise that his own heart was singing to him, he almost danced along the road in his satisfaction and conceit.
Meanwhile, Toad, cheerful and carefree, was walking swiftly down the main road, a few miles from home. At first, he took side paths, crossed several fields, and changed direction multiple times to avoid being followed; but now, feeling secure from being caught, with the sun shining warmly on him and all of nature seeming to agree with the upbeat tune of self-admiration playing in his heart, he almost danced down the road in his happiness and pride.
“Smart piece of work that!” he remarked to himself chuckling. “Brain against brute force—and brain came out on the top—as it’s bound to do. Poor old Ratty! My! won’t he catch it when the Badger gets back! A worthy fellow, Ratty, with many good qualities, but very little intelligence and absolutely no education. I must take him in hand some day, and see if I can make something of him.”
“Nice job there!” he said to himself, laughing. “Brains versus brawn—and brains won, as they always do. Poor Ratty! Wow, he’s going to be in trouble when Badger gets back! Ratty's a decent guy with a lot of good traits, but he’s not very smart and has no education at all. I should help him out someday and see if I can teach him a thing or two.”
Filled full of conceited thoughts such as these he strode along, his head in the air, till he reached a little town, where the sign of “The Red Lion,” swinging across the road halfway down the main street, reminded him that he had not breakfasted that day, and that he was exceedingly hungry after his long walk. He marched into the Inn, ordered the best luncheon that could be provided at so short a notice, and sat down to eat it in the coffee-room.
Filled with self-important thoughts like these, he walked confidently, his head held high, until he arrived at a small town. The sign for “The Red Lion,” swinging across the road halfway down the main street, reminded him that he hadn’t eaten breakfast that day and that he was very hungry after his long walk. He marched into the inn, ordered the best lunch they could prepare on such short notice, and sat down to eat in the coffee room.
He was about half-way through his meal when an only too familiar sound, approaching down the street, made him start and fall a-trembling all over. The poop-poop! drew nearer and nearer, the car could be heard to turn into the inn-yard and come to a stop, and Toad had to hold on to the leg of the table to conceal his over-mastering emotion. Presently the party entered the coffee-room, hungry, talkative, and gay, voluble on their experiences of the morning and the merits of the chariot that had brought them along so well. Toad listened eagerly, all ears, for a time; at last he could stand it no longer. He slipped out of the room quietly, paid his bill at the bar, and as soon as he got outside sauntered round quietly to the inn-yard. “There cannot be any harm,” he said to himself, “in my only just looking at it!”
He was about halfway through his meal when a sound he knew all too well, coming down the street, made him jump and tremble all over. The honking grew louder as the car turned into the inn's yard and came to a stop, and Toad had to grip the table leg to hide his overwhelming excitement. Soon, the group entered the coffee room, hungry, chatty, and lively, eager to share their morning experiences and praise the carriage that had taken them there so well. Toad listened intently for a while, but eventually, he couldn't take it anymore. He quietly slipped out of the room, settled his bill at the bar, and as soon as he was outside, he casually strolled around to the inn's yard. “There can’t be any harm,” he told himself, “in just looking at it!”
The car stood in the middle of the yard, quite unattended, the stable-helps and other hangers-on being all at their dinner. Toad walked slowly round it, inspecting, criticising, musing deeply.
The car sat in the middle of the yard, completely unattended, while the stable hands and other bystanders were all at their dinner. Toad walked slowly around it, inspecting, critiquing, and thinking deeply.
“I wonder,” he said to himself presently, “I wonder if this sort of car starts easily?”
“I wonder,” he said to himself, “I wonder if this kind of car starts easily?”
Next moment, hardly knowing how it came about, he found he had hold of the handle and was turning it. As the familiar sound broke forth, the old passion seized on Toad and completely mastered him, body and soul. As if in a dream he found himself, somehow, seated in the driver’s seat; as if in a dream, he pulled the lever and swung the car round the yard and out through the archway; and, as if in a dream, all sense of right and wrong, all fear of obvious consequences, seemed temporarily suspended. He increased his pace, and as the car devoured the street and leapt forth on the high road through the open country, he was only conscious that he was Toad once more, Toad at his best and highest, Toad the terror, the traffic-queller, the Lord of the lone trail, before whom all must give way or be smitten into nothingness and everlasting night. He chanted as he flew, and the car responded with sonorous drone; the miles were eaten up under him as he sped he knew not whither, fulfilling his instincts, living his hour, reckless of what might come to him.
In the next moment, barely aware of how it happened, he realized he was gripping the handle and turning it. As the familiar sound erupted, the old passion took hold of Toad, seizing him completely, body and soul. It was as if he were in a dream; somehow, he found himself in the driver's seat. Still in this dreamlike state, he pulled the lever and swung the car around the yard and out through the archway. In that moment, all sense of right and wrong, all fear of the obvious consequences, seemed to fade away. He accelerated, and as the car devoured the street and surged onto the highway through the open countryside, he was only aware that he was Toad once again—Toad at his best and highest, Toad the terror, the traffic-stopper, the ruler of the open road, before whom all must yield or be crushed into nothingness and eternal darkness. He sang as he raced along, and the car responded with a deep hum; the miles flew by beneath him as he sped off, not knowing where he was headed, fulfilling his instincts and living in the moment, reckless of whatever might come next.
“To my mind,” observed the Chairman of the Bench of Magistrates cheerfully, “the only difficulty that presents itself in this otherwise very clear case is, how we can possibly make it sufficiently hot for the incorrigible rogue and hardened ruffian whom we see cowering in the dock before us. Let me see: he has been found guilty, on the clearest evidence, first, of stealing a valuable motor-car; secondly, of driving to the public danger; and, thirdly, of gross impertinence to the rural police. Mr. Clerk, will you tell us, please, what is the very stiffest penalty we can impose for each of these offences? Without, of course, giving the prisoner the benefit of any doubt, because there isn’t any.”
“To me,” remarked the Chairman of the Bench of Magistrates cheerfully, “the only issue that stands out in this otherwise very straightforward case is how we can possibly make it tough enough for the unrepentant criminal and hardened thug cowering in the dock before us. Let me think: he has been found guilty, based on clear evidence, first, of stealing a valuable car; second, of driving in a way that endangered the public; and, third, of being extremely disrespectful to the rural police. Mr. Clerk, can you tell us, please, what is the harshest penalty we can impose for each of these offenses? Without, of course, giving the defendant the benefit of any doubt, because there isn’t any.”
The Clerk scratched his nose with his pen. “Some people would consider,” he observed, “that stealing the motor-car was the worst offence; and so it is. But cheeking the police undoubtedly carries the severest penalty; and so it ought. Supposing you were to say twelve months for the theft, which is mild; and three years for the furious driving, which is lenient; and fifteen years for the cheek, which was pretty bad sort of cheek, judging by what we’ve heard from the witness-box, even if you only believe one-tenth part of what you heard, and I never believe more myself—those figures, if added together correctly, tot up to nineteen years——”
The Clerk scratched his nose with his pen. “Some people might think,” he said, “that stealing the car was the worst crime; and it is. But being disrespectful to the police definitely carries the harshest penalty; and rightfully so. If you were to say twelve months for the theft, which is light; and three years for the reckless driving, which is generous; and fifteen years for the disrespect, which was really quite bad, considering what we heard from the witness stand— even if you only believe one-tenth of what you heard, and I personally never believe more than that— those numbers, if you add them up correctly, come to nineteen years—”
“First-rate!” said the Chairman.
"Excellent!" said the Chairman.
“—So you had better make it a round twenty years and be on the safe side,” concluded the Clerk.
“—So you should probably round it up to twenty years to be safe,” the Clerk concluded.
“An excellent suggestion!” said the Chairman approvingly. “Prisoner! Pull yourself together and try and stand up straight. It’s going to be twenty years for you this time. And mind, if you appear before us again, upon any charge whatever, we shall have to deal with you very seriously!”
“Great suggestion!” said the Chairman with approval. “Prisoner! Get yourself together and try to stand up straight. You’re looking at twenty years this time. And remember, if you come before us again on any charge at all, we will have to handle you very seriously!”
Then the brutal minions of the law fell upon the hapless Toad; loaded him with chains, and dragged him from the Court House, shrieking, praying, protesting; across the marketplace, where the playful populace, always as severe upon detected crime as they are sympathetic and helpful when one is merely “wanted,” assailed him with jeers, carrots, and popular catch-words; past hooting school children, their innocent faces lit up with the pleasure they ever derive from the sight of a gentleman in difficulties; across the hollow-sounding drawbridge, below the spiky portcullis, under the frowning archway of the grim old castle, whose ancient towers soared high overhead; past guardrooms full of grinning soldiery off duty, past sentries who coughed in a horrid, sarcastic way, because that is as much as a sentry on his post dare do to show his contempt and abhorrence of crime; up time-worn winding stairs, past men-at-arms in casquet and corselet of steel, darting threatening looks through their vizards; across courtyards, where mastiffs strained at their leash and pawed the air to get at him; past ancient warders, their halberds leant against the wall, dozing over a pasty and a flagon of brown ale; on and on, past the rack-chamber and the thumbscrew-room, past the turning that led to the private scaffold, till they reached the door of the grimmest dungeon that lay in the heart of the innermost keep. There at last they paused, where an ancient gaoler sat fingering a bunch of mighty keys.
Then the brutal agents of the law pounced on the unfortunate Toad; shackled him with chains, and dragged him from the courthouse, screaming, begging, protesting; across the marketplace, where the playful crowd, always harsh on caught criminals yet sympathetic and helpful when someone is just “wanted,” bombarded him with jeers, carrots, and popular phrases; past jeering school children, their innocent faces glowing with delight at the sight of a gentleman in trouble; across the echoing drawbridge, beneath the spiky portcullis, under the grim archway of the old castle, whose ancient towers loomed high above; past guardrooms filled with grinning off-duty soldiers, past sentries who coughed in a nasty, sarcastic way, as that was all a sentry on duty could do to express his disdain and disgust for crime; up weathered winding stairs, past armored guards in steel helmets and breastplates, casting threatening glances through their visors; across courtyards, where mastiffs strained at their leashes and clawed at the air to reach him; past ancient warders, their halberds propped against the wall, dozing over a pie and a mug of brown ale; onward, past the torture chamber and the thumbscrew room, past the turn that led to the private gallows, until they arrived at the door of the darkest dungeon that lay in the heart of the innermost keep. There at last they stopped, where an old jailer sat fiddling with a bunch of heavy keys.
“Oddsbodikins!” said the sergeant of police, taking off his helmet and wiping his forehead. “Rouse thee, old loon, and take over from us this vile Toad, a criminal of deepest guilt and matchless artfulness and resource. Watch and ward him with all thy skill; and mark thee well, greybeard, should aught untoward befall, thy old head shall answer for his—and a murrain on both of them!”
“Good grief!” said the police sergeant, taking off his helmet and wiping his forehead. “Wake up, you old fool, and take this vile Toad off our hands—a criminal of the highest guilt and unmatched cleverness. Keep a close watch on him with all your skill; and be careful, old man, if anything goes wrong, your head will be on the line for his—and curses on both of them!”
The gaoler nodded grimly, laying his withered hand on the shoulder of the miserable Toad. The rusty key creaked in the lock, the great door clanged behind them; and Toad was a helpless prisoner in the remotest dungeon of the best-guarded keep of the stoutest castle in all the length and breadth of Merry England.
The jailer nodded sadly, putting his bony hand on the shoulder of the miserable Toad. The rusty key squeaked in the lock, the huge door slammed shut behind them; and Toad was a helpless prisoner in the farthest dungeon of the most secure tower of the strongest castle in all of Merry England.
VII.
THE PIPER AT THE GATES OF DAWN
The Willow-Wren was twittering his thin little song, hidden himself in the dark selvedge of the river bank. Though it was past ten o’clock at night, the sky still clung to and retained some lingering skirts of light from the departed day; and the sullen heats of the torrid afternoon broke up and rolled away at the dispersing touch of the cool fingers of the short midsummer night. Mole lay stretched on the bank, still panting from the stress of the fierce day that had been cloudless from dawn to late sunset, and waited for his friend to return. He had been on the river with some companions, leaving the Water Rat free to keep a engagement of long standing with Otter; and he had come back to find the house dark and deserted, and no sign of Rat, who was doubtless keeping it up late with his old comrade. It was still too hot to think of staying indoors, so he lay on some cool dock-leaves, and thought over the past day and its doings, and how very good they all had been.
The Willow-Wren was singing its soft little song, tucked away in the dark edge of the riverbank. Even though it was past ten at night, the sky still held onto some fading light from the day; the heavy heat of the hot afternoon faded away with the cool touch of the short midsummer night. Mole lay stretched out on the bank, still catching his breath from the stress of the intensely clear day that had lasted from dawn to dusk, and waited for his friend to come back. He had been on the river with some friends, leaving the Water Rat to keep a long-standing engagement with Otter; and he returned to find the house dark and empty, with no sign of Rat, who was probably having a late night with his old buddy. It was still too warm to think about staying inside, so he lay on some cool dock leaves, reflecting on the day and all the fun they’d had, and how great it had all been.
The Rat’s light footfall was presently heard approaching over the parched grass. “O, the blessed coolness!” he said, and sat down, gazing thoughtfully into the river, silent and pre-occupied.
The Rat’s soft footsteps were soon heard coming over the dry grass. “Oh, the wonderful coolness!” he said, and sat down, staring thoughtfully into the river, quiet and lost in thought.
“You stayed to supper, of course?” said the Mole presently.
“You stayed for dinner, right?” said the Mole after a moment.
“Simply had to,” said the Rat. “They wouldn’t hear of my going before. You know how kind they always are. And they made things as jolly for me as ever they could, right up to the moment I left. But I felt a brute all the time, as it was clear to me they were very unhappy, though they tried to hide it. Mole, I’m afraid they’re in trouble. Little Portly is missing again; and you know what a lot his father thinks of him, though he never says much about it.”
“Had to,” said the Rat. “They wouldn’t let me leave before. You know how nice they always are. They made everything as fun for me as they could, right up until I left. But I felt terrible the whole time because it was obvious they were really unhappy, even though they tried to hide it. Mole, I’m worried they’re in trouble. Little Portly is missing again, and you know how much his dad cares about him, even if he doesn’t say much about it.”
“What, that child?” said the Mole lightly. “Well, suppose he is; why worry about it? He’s always straying off and getting lost, and turning up again; he’s so adventurous. But no harm ever happens to him. Everybody hereabouts knows him and likes him, just as they do old Otter, and you may be sure some animal or other will come across him and bring him back again all right. Why, we’ve found him ourselves, miles from home, and quite self-possessed and cheerful!”
“What, that kid?” said the Mole lightly. “Well, so what if he is? Why stress about it? He’s always wandering off and getting lost, then showing up again; he’s so adventurous. But nothing bad ever happens to him. Everyone around here knows him and likes him, just like they do old Otter, and you can be sure some animal will find him and bring him back just fine. We've even found him ourselves, miles from home, totally calm and cheerful!”
“Yes; but this time it’s more serious,” said the Rat gravely. “He’s been missing for some days now, and the Otters have hunted everywhere, high and low, without finding the slightest trace. And they’ve asked every animal, too, for miles around, and no one knows anything about him. Otter’s evidently more anxious than he’ll admit. I got out of him that young Portly hasn’t learnt to swim very well yet, and I can see he’s thinking of the weir. There’s a lot of water coming down still, considering the time of the year, and the place always had a fascination for the child. And then there are—well, traps and things—you know. Otter’s not the fellow to be nervous about any son of his before it’s time. And now he is nervous. When I left, he came out with me—said he wanted some air, and talked about stretching his legs. But I could see it wasn’t that, so I drew him out and pumped him, and got it all from him at last. He was going to spend the night watching by the ford. You know the place where the old ford used to be, in by-gone days before they built the bridge?”
“Yes, but this time it’s really serious,” said the Rat seriously. “He’s been missing for a few days now, and the Otters have searched everywhere, high and low, without finding any trace. They’ve asked every animal around for miles, and no one knows anything about him. Otter is clearly more worried than he admits. I found out from him that young Portly hasn’t learned to swim well yet, and I can tell he’s thinking about the weir. There’s a lot of water flowing down still, considering the time of year, and that place always fascinated the child. And then there are—well, traps and things—you know. Otter’s not the type to get nervous about any of his kids before it’s warranted. And now he is nervous. When I left, he came out with me—said he needed some fresh air and talked about stretching his legs. But I could see it wasn’t just that, so I pried a little and eventually got it all out of him. He was going to spend the night watching by the ford. You know the spot where the old ford used to be, back in the day before they built the bridge?”
“I know it well,” said the Mole. “But why should Otter choose to watch there?”
“I know it well,” said the Mole. “But why would Otter choose to watch there?”
“Well, it seems that it was there he gave Portly his first swimming-lesson,” continued the Rat. “From that shallow, gravelly spit near the bank. And it was there he used to teach him fishing, and there young Portly caught his first fish, of which he was so very proud. The child loved the spot, and Otter thinks that if he came wandering back from wherever he is—if he is anywhere by this time, poor little chap—he might make for the ford he was so fond of; or if he came across it he’d remember it well, and stop there and play, perhaps. So Otter goes there every night and watches—on the chance, you know, just on the chance!”
“Well, it looks like it was there that he gave Portly his first swimming lesson,” the Rat continued. “From that shallow, gravelly spot by the bank. And it was there he taught him how to fish, and there young Portly caught his first fish, which he was really proud of. The kid loved that place, and Otter thinks that if he came wandering back from wherever he is—if he even is anywhere by now, poor little guy—he might head for the ford he liked so much; or if he stumbled across it, he’d remember it well and maybe stop there to play. So Otter goes there every night and watches—just in case, you know, just in case!”
They were silent for a time, both thinking of the same thing—the lonely, heart-sore animal, crouched by the ford, watching and waiting, the long night through—on the chance.
They were quiet for a while, both thinking about the same thing—the lonely, heartbroken animal, crouched by the stream crossing, watching and waiting the whole night long—on the chance.
“Well, well,” said the Rat presently, “I suppose we ought to be thinking about turning in.” But he never offered to move.
“Well, well,” said the Rat after a moment, “I guess we should think about going to bed.” But he didn’t make any move to get up.
“Rat,” said the Mole, “I simply can’t go and turn in, and go to sleep, and do nothing, even though there doesn’t seem to be anything to be done. We’ll get the boat out, and paddle up stream. The moon will be up in an hour or so, and then we will search as well as we can—anyhow, it will be better than going to bed and doing nothing.”
“Rat,” said the Mole, “I just can’t go to bed and do nothing, even if it seems like there’s nothing we can do. Let’s get the boat out and paddle upstream. The moon will be up in about an hour, and then we’ll search as best as we can—anyway, it’ll be better than going to bed and doing nothing.”
“Just what I was thinking myself,” said the Rat. “It’s not the sort of night for bed anyhow; and daybreak is not so very far off, and then we may pick up some news of him from early risers as we go along.”
“Exactly what I was thinking,” said the Rat. “It’s not the kind of night for sleeping anyway; and dawn isn’t too far off, and then we might hear some news about him from the early risers as we go.”
They got the boat out, and the Rat took the sculls, paddling with caution. Out in midstream, there was a clear, narrow track that faintly reflected the sky; but wherever shadows fell on the water from bank, bush, or tree, they were as solid to all appearance as the banks themselves, and the Mole had to steer with judgment accordingly. Dark and deserted as it was, the night was full of small noises, song and chatter and rustling, telling of the busy little population who were up and about, plying their trades and vocations through the night till sunshine should fall on them at last and send them off to their well-earned repose. The water’s own noises, too, were more apparent than by day, its gurglings and “cloops” more unexpected and near at hand; and constantly they started at what seemed a sudden clear call from an actual articulate voice.
They took the boat out, and the Rat grabbed the oars, paddling carefully. In the middle of the stream, there was a clear, narrow path that faintly reflected the sky; but wherever shadows fell on the water from the riverbank, bushes, or trees, they looked just as solid as the banks themselves, so the Mole had to steer wisely. Even though it was dark and empty, the night was alive with small sounds—songs, chatter, and rustling—that hinted at the busy little creatures who were awake, going about their work through the night until the sunlight finally came and sent them off to their well-deserved rest. The noises from the water were also more noticeable than during the day, with its gurgles and “cloops” seeming more sudden and close; and they frequently jumped at what sounded like a clear call from an actual voice.
The line of the horizon was clear and hard against the sky, and in one particular quarter it showed black against a silvery climbing phosphorescence that grew and grew. At last, over the rim of the waiting earth the moon lifted with slow majesty till it swung clear of the horizon and rode off, free of moorings; and once more they began to see surfaces—meadows wide-spread, and quiet gardens, and the river itself from bank to bank, all softly disclosed, all washed clean of mystery and terror, all radiant again as by day, but with a difference that was tremendous. Their old haunts greeted them again in other raiment, as if they had slipped away and put on this pure new apparel and come quietly back, smiling as they shyly waited to see if they would be recognised again under it.
The line of the horizon was sharp and clear against the sky, and in one spot, it showed dark against a silvery glow that grew brighter and brighter. Finally, the moon rose over the edge of the waiting land with a slow, graceful movement until it cleared the horizon and floated up, free from anchorage; and once again they began to see familiar sights—sprawling meadows, peaceful gardens, and the river stretching from bank to bank, all gently revealed, all washed clean of mystery and fear, all shining brightly like during the day, but with a difference that was incredible. Their old familiar places welcomed them back in new clothes, as if they had slipped away, put on this fresh attire, and returned quietly, smiling as they shyly waited to see if they would be recognized again in it.
Fastening their boat to a willow, the friends landed in this silent, silver kingdom, and patiently explored the hedges, the hollow trees, the runnels and their little culverts, the ditches and dry water-ways. Embarking again and crossing over, they worked their way up the stream in this manner, while the moon, serene and detached in a cloudless sky, did what she could, though so far off, to help them in their quest; till her hour came and she sank earthwards reluctantly, and left them, and mystery once more held field and river.
Fastening their boat to a willow, the friends landed in this quiet, silver realm and patiently explored the hedges, the hollow trees, the small streams and their little channels, the ditches, and dry waterways. They set off again and worked their way upstream in this way, while the moon, calm and distant in a cloudless sky, did what she could, even from afar, to assist them in their search; until her time came, and she sank reluctantly toward the earth, leaving them, as mystery once again enveloped the field and river.
Then a change began slowly to declare itself. The horizon became clearer, field and tree came more into sight, and somehow with a different look; the mystery began to drop away from them. A bird piped suddenly, and was still; and a light breeze sprang up and set the reeds and bulrushes rustling. Rat, who was in the stern of the boat, while Mole sculled, sat up suddenly and listened with a passionate intentness. Mole, who with gentle strokes was just keeping the boat moving while he scanned the banks with care, looked at him with curiosity.
Then a change started to reveal itself slowly. The horizon became clearer, and fields and trees came into view, somehow looking different; the mystery began to fade away from them. A bird chirped suddenly, then fell silent; a light breeze picked up and made the reeds and bulrushes rustle. Rat, who was at the back of the boat while Mole rowed, sat up suddenly and listened with intense focus. Mole, who was gently keeping the boat moving while carefully scanning the banks, looked at him with curiosity.
“It’s gone!” sighed the Rat, sinking back in his seat again. “So beautiful and strange and new. Since it was to end so soon, I almost wish I had never heard it. For it has roused a longing in me that is pain, and nothing seems worth while but just to hear that sound once more and go on listening to it for ever. No! There it is again!” he cried, alert once more. Entranced, he was silent for a long space, spellbound.
“It’s gone!” the Rat sighed, sinking back into his seat again. “So beautiful and strange and new. Since it was going to end so soon, I almost wish I had never heard it. Because it has stirred a painful longing in me, and nothing feels worthwhile except hearing that sound one more time and just listening to it forever. No! There it is again!” he shouted, alert once more. Captivated, he remained silent for a long time, enchanted.
“Now it passes on and I begin to lose it,” he said presently. “O Mole! the beauty of it! The merry bubble and joy, the thin, clear, happy call of the distant piping! Such music I never dreamed of, and the call in it is stronger even than the music is sweet! Row on, Mole, row! For the music and the call must be for us.”
“Now it's moving on and I'm starting to lose it,” he said after a moment. “Oh Mole! The beauty of this! The cheerful bubble and joy, the light, clear, happy sound of the distant piping! I never imagined music like this, and the call in it is even stronger than how sweet the music is! Keep rowing, Mole, keep rowing! Because the music and the call must be meant for us.”
The Mole, greatly wondering, obeyed. “I hear nothing myself,” he said, “but the wind playing in the reeds and rushes and osiers.”
The Mole, feeling curious, complied. “I don’t hear anything myself,” he said, “just the wind rustling through the reeds, rushes, and willow branches.”
The Rat never answered, if indeed he heard. Rapt, transported, trembling, he was possessed in all his senses by this new divine thing that caught up his helpless soul and swung and dandled it, a powerless but happy infant in a strong sustaining grasp.
The Rat never replied, if he even heard. Captivated, overwhelmed, trembling, he was fully absorbed by this new divine thing that wrapped around his helpless soul and swung and cradled it, a weak but joyful infant in a strong, supportive embrace.
In silence Mole rowed steadily, and soon they came to a point where the river divided, a long backwater branching off to one side. With a slight movement of his head Rat, who had long dropped the rudder-lines, directed the rower to take the backwater. The creeping tide of light gained and gained, and now they could see the colour of the flowers that gemmed the water’s edge.
In silence, Mole rowed steadily, and soon they reached a place where the river split, with a long backwater branching off to one side. With a slight nod of his head, Rat, who had long since let go of the rudder lines, guided the rower to take the backwater. The gathering light grew brighter, and now they could see the colors of the flowers that dotted the water’s edge.
“Clearer and nearer still,” cried the Rat joyously. “Now you must surely hear it! Ah—at last—I see you do!”
“Clearer and closer now,” the Rat shouted happily. “You must be able to hear it! Ah—finally—I see you do!”
Breathless and transfixed the Mole stopped rowing as the liquid run of that glad piping broke on him like a wave, caught him up, and possessed him utterly. He saw the tears on his comrade’s cheeks, and bowed his head and understood. For a space they hung there, brushed by the purple loose-strife that fringed the bank; then the clear imperious summons that marched hand-in-hand with the intoxicating melody imposed its will on Mole, and mechanically he bent to his oars again. And the light grew steadily stronger, but no birds sang as they were wont to do at the approach of dawn; and but for the heavenly music all was marvellously still.
Breathless and mesmerized, the Mole stopped rowing as the flowing notes of that joyful tune washed over him like a wave, completely engulfing him. He noticed the tears on his friend’s cheeks, bowed his head, and understood. For a moment, they lingered there, touched by the purple loose-strife along the bank; then the clear, urgent call that came with the enchanting melody dominated Mole, and he automatically started rowing again. The light grew steadily brighter, but no birds sang as they usually did at dawn; aside from the heavenly music, everything was wonderfully silent.
On either side of them, as they glided onwards, the rich meadow-grass seemed that morning of a freshness and a greenness unsurpassable. Never had they noticed the roses so vivid, the willow-herb so riotous, the meadow-sweet so odorous and pervading. Then the murmur of the approaching weir began to hold the air, and they felt a consciousness that they were nearing the end, whatever it might be, that surely awaited their expedition.
On either side of them, as they moved forward, the lush meadow grass that morning appeared incredibly fresh and green. They had never seen the roses so bright, the willow herb so vibrant, or the meadow sweet so fragrant and pervasive. Then the sound of the approaching weir started to fill the air, and they sensed they were getting closer to the end, whatever it might be, that was surely waiting for them on their journey.
A wide half-circle of foam and glinting lights and shining shoulders of green water, the great weir closed the backwater from bank to bank, troubled all the quiet surface with twirling eddies and floating foam-streaks, and deadened all other sounds with its solemn and soothing rumble. In midmost of the stream, embraced in the weir’s shimmering arm-spread, a small island lay anchored, fringed close with willow and silver birch and alder. Reserved, shy, but full of significance, it hid whatever it might hold behind a veil, keeping it till the hour should come, and, with the hour, those who were called and chosen.
A broad half-circle of foam, glimmering lights, and sparkling green water, the massive weir stretched across the backwater from one bank to the other, stirring the calm surface with swirling eddies and floating foam, drowning out all other sounds with its deep, soothing rumble. In the center of the stream, cradled within the weir’s shimmering embrace, lay a small island, surrounded by willows, silver birches, and alders. Quiet, reserved, yet holding deep significance, it concealed whatever it harbored behind a veil, waiting for the right moment, along with those who were chosen to discover it.
Slowly, but with no doubt or hesitation whatever, and in something of a solemn expectancy, the two animals passed through the broken tumultuous water and moored their boat at the flowery margin of the island. In silence they landed, and pushed through the blossom and scented herbage and undergrowth that led up to the level ground, till they stood on a little lawn of a marvellous green, set round with Nature’s own orchard-trees—crab-apple, wild cherry, and sloe.
Slowly, but without any doubt or hesitation, and with a sense of solemn anticipation, the two animals made their way through the rough, churning water and tied their boat up at the flowery edge of the island. They landed in silence and pushed through the flowers, fragrant grass, and underbrush that led up to the flat ground, until they reached a small lawn of vibrant green, surrounded by nature's own fruit trees—crabapple, wild cherry, and blackthorn.
“This is the place of my song-dream, the place the music played to me,” whispered the Rat, as if in a trance. “Here, in this holy place, here if anywhere, surely we shall find Him!”
“This is where my song-dream is, the place that the music played for me,” whispered the Rat, almost in a trance. “Here, in this sacred spot, if anywhere, we will definitely find Him!”
Then suddenly the Mole felt a great Awe fall upon him, an awe that turned his muscles to water, bowed his head, and rooted his feet to the ground. It was no panic terror—indeed he felt wonderfully at peace and happy—but it was an awe that smote and held him and, without seeing, he knew it could only mean that some august Presence was very, very near. With difficulty he turned to look for his friend and saw him at his side cowed, stricken, and trembling violently. And still there was utter silence in the populous bird-haunted branches around them; and still the light grew and grew.
Then suddenly the Mole felt a wave of awe wash over him, an awe that turned his muscles to jelly, made him lower his head, and planted his feet firmly on the ground. It wasn't panic—actually, he felt incredibly peaceful and happy—but it was an awe that hit him hard and kept him in place, and without seeing, he knew it could only mean that some grand Presence was very, very close. With some effort, he turned to look for his friend and saw him at his side, shocked, shaken, and shaking violently. And still there was complete silence in the crowded, bird-filled branches around them; and still the light kept growing and growing.
Perhaps he would never have dared to raise his eyes, but that, though the piping was now hushed, the call and the summons seemed still dominant and imperious. He might not refuse, were Death himself waiting to strike him instantly, once he had looked with mortal eye on things rightly kept hidden. Trembling he obeyed, and raised his humble head; and then, in that utter clearness of the imminent dawn, while Nature, flushed with fullness of incredible colour, seemed to hold her breath for the event, he looked in the very eyes of the Friend and Helper; saw the backward sweep of the curved horns, gleaming in the growing daylight; saw the stern, hooked nose between the kindly eyes that were looking down on them humourously, while the bearded mouth broke into a half-smile at the corners; saw the rippling muscles on the arm that lay across the broad chest, the long supple hand still holding the pan-pipes only just fallen away from the parted lips; saw the splendid curves of the shaggy limbs disposed in majestic ease on the sward; saw, last of all, nestling between his very hooves, sleeping soundly in entire peace and contentment, the little, round, podgy, childish form of the baby otter. All this he saw, for one moment breathless and intense, vivid on the morning sky; and still, as he looked, he lived; and still, as he lived, he wondered.
Maybe he would have never dared to lift his gaze, but even though the music had quieted down, the call and the summons still felt powerful and demanding. He couldn't refuse, even if Death himself was waiting to strike him the moment he looked with human eyes at things that should be kept hidden. Trembling, he obeyed and lifted his humble head; and then, in the complete clarity of the approaching dawn, while Nature, glowing with unbelievable colors, seemed to hold its breath for what was about to happen, he looked right into the eyes of the Friend and Helper; saw the curve of the horns sweeping back, shining in the rising light; saw the strong, hooked nose between the kind eyes that gazed down on them with amusement, while the bearded mouth broke into a half-smile at the corners; saw the rippling muscles of the arm resting across the broad chest, the long, flexible hand still holding the pan-pipes that had just fallen away from parted lips; saw the magnificent curves of the shaggy limbs laid out comfortably on the grass; saw, finally, nestled between his very hooves, sleeping soundly in total peace and contentment, the little, round, pudgy, child-like form of the baby otter. All this he saw, for one breathless and intense moment, vividly against the morning sky; and still, as he looked, he lived; and still, as he lived, he wondered.
“Rat!” he found breath to whisper, shaking. “Are you afraid?”
“Rat!” he managed to whisper, shaking. “Are you scared?”
“Afraid?” murmured the Rat, his eyes shining with unutterable love. “Afraid! Of Him? O, never, never! And yet—and yet—O, Mole, I am afraid!”
“Afraid?” whispered the Rat, his eyes glowing with deep affection. “Afraid! Of Him? Oh, never, never! And yet—and yet—oh, Mole, I am afraid!”
Then the two animals, crouching to the earth, bowed their heads and did worship.
Then the two animals, crouching down, lowered their heads and worshipped.
Sudden and magnificent, the sun’s broad golden disc showed itself over the horizon facing them; and the first rays, shooting across the level water-meadows, took the animals full in the eyes and dazzled them. When they were able to look once more, the Vision had vanished, and the air was full of the carol of birds that hailed the dawn.
Sudden and glorious, the sun's wide golden disk appeared over the horizon in front of them; and the first rays, shooting across the flat water meadows, hit the animals directly in the eyes and blinded them. When they could see again, the vision had disappeared, and the air was filled with the songs of birds celebrating the dawn.
As they stared blankly in dumb misery deepening as they slowly realised all they had seen and all they had lost, a capricious little breeze, dancing up from the surface of the water, tossed the aspens, shook the dewy roses and blew lightly and caressingly in their faces; and with its soft touch came instant oblivion. For this is the last best gift that the kindly demi-god is careful to bestow on those to whom he has revealed himself in their helping: the gift of forgetfulness. Lest the awful remembrance should remain and grow, and overshadow mirth and pleasure, and the great haunting memory should spoil all the after-lives of little animals helped out of difficulties, in order that they should be happy and lighthearted as before.
As they stared blankly in misery, realizing everything they had seen and lost, a playful little breeze danced up from the water's surface, swaying the aspens, shaking the dewy roses, and blowing gently in their faces; with its soft touch came instant forgetfulness. This is the final, generous gift that the kind demi-god gives to those he has helped: the gift of forgetting. To prevent the dreadful memories from lingering and growing, overshadowing joy and laughter, and ruining the lives of the little animals he helped, so that they can be happy and carefree again.
Mole rubbed his eyes and stared at Rat, who was looking about him in a puzzled sort of way. “I beg your pardon; what did you say, Rat?” he asked.
Mole rubbed his eyes and looked at Rat, who was scanning the area with a confused expression. “Sorry, what did you say, Rat?” he asked.
“I think I was only remarking,” said Rat slowly, “that this was the right sort of place, and that here, if anywhere, we should find him. And look! Why, there he is, the little fellow!” And with a cry of delight he ran towards the slumbering Portly.
“I think I was just saying,” Rat said slowly, “that this is the right kind of place, and that here, if anywhere, we should find him. And look! There he is, the little guy!” And with a shout of joy, he ran towards the sleeping Portly.
But Mole stood still a moment, held in thought. As one wakened suddenly from a beautiful dream, who struggles to recall it, and can re-capture nothing but a dim sense of the beauty of it, the beauty! Till that, too, fades away in its turn, and the dreamer bitterly accepts the hard, cold waking and all its penalties; so Mole, after struggling with his memory for a brief space, shook his head sadly and followed the Rat.
But Mole paused for a moment, lost in thought. Like someone who suddenly wakes from a beautiful dream and tries to remember it, but can only grasp a faint feeling of its beauty, the beauty! Until that feeling fades too, and the dreamer reluctantly faces the harsh reality and all its consequences; so Mole, after wrestling with his memory for a short time, shook his head sadly and followed the Rat.
Portly woke up with a joyous squeak, and wriggled with pleasure at the sight of his father’s friends, who had played with him so often in past days. In a moment, however, his face grew blank, and he fell to hunting round in a circle with pleading whine. As a child that has fallen happily asleep in its nurse’s arms, and wakes to find itself alone and laid in a strange place, and searches corners and cupboards, and runs from room to room, despair growing silently in its heart, even so Portly searched the island and searched, dogged and unwearying, till at last the black moment came for giving it up, and sitting down and crying bitterly.
Portly woke up with a joyful squeak and wriggled with delight at the sight of his father’s friends, who had played with him so often in the past. However, in a moment, his expression turned blank, and he began to search around in a circle with a pleading whine. Like a child who has fallen happily asleep in its nurse’s arms and wakes up to find itself alone in a strange place, searching corners and cupboards, and running from room to room with despair quietly growing in its heart, Portly searched the island tirelessly until the moment finally came when he had to give up, sit down, and cry bitterly.
The Mole ran quickly to comfort the little animal; but Rat, lingering, looked long and doubtfully at certain hoof-marks deep in the sward.
The Mole hurried over to comfort the little animal, but Rat stayed behind, staring uncertainly at some deep hoof prints in the grass.
“Some—great—animal—has been here,” he murmured slowly and thoughtfully; and stood musing, musing; his mind strangely stirred.
“Some—great—animal—has been here,” he said slowly and thoughtfully, standing there lost in thought, his mind unusually stirred.
“Come along, Rat!” called the Mole. “Think of poor Otter, waiting up there by the ford!”
“Come on, Rat!” shouted the Mole. “Think of poor Otter, waiting up there by the crossing!”
Portly had soon been comforted by the promise of a treat—a jaunt on the river in Mr. Rat’s real boat; and the two animals conducted him to the water’s side, placed him securely between them in the bottom of the boat, and paddled off down the backwater. The sun was fully up by now, and hot on them, birds sang lustily and without restraint, and flowers smiled and nodded from either bank, but somehow—so thought the animals—with less of richness and blaze of colour than they seemed to remember seeing quite recently somewhere—they wondered where.
Portly was soon reassured by the promise of a treat—a ride on the river in Mr. Rat’s actual boat. The two animals helped him to the water's edge, placed him comfortably between them in the boat, and paddled off down the backwater. The sun was high in the sky now and hot on them, birds sang cheerfully and freely, and flowers nodded and smiled from either bank. But somehow—at least, that’s what the animals thought—the scenery seemed less vibrant and colorful than they remembered seeing not long ago. They wondered where that might have been.
The main river reached again, they turned the boat’s head upstream, towards the point where they knew their friend was keeping his lonely vigil. As they drew near the familiar ford, the Mole took the boat in to the bank, and they lifted Portly out and set him on his legs on the tow-path, gave him his marching orders and a friendly farewell pat on the back, and shoved out into mid-stream. They watched the little animal as he waddled along the path contentedly and with importance; watched him till they saw his muzzle suddenly lift and his waddle break into a clumsy amble as he quickened his pace with shrill whines and wriggles of recognition. Looking up the river, they could see Otter start up, tense and rigid, from out of the shallows where he crouched in dumb patience, and could hear his amazed and joyous bark as he bounded up through the osiers on to the path. Then the Mole, with a strong pull on one oar, swung the boat round and let the full stream bear them down again whither it would, their quest now happily ended.
The main river came into view again, and they turned the boat’s head upstream, heading towards the spot where they knew their friend was keeping a lonely watch. As they approached the familiar crossing, the Mole guided the boat to the bank, and they lifted Portly out, setting him on his feet on the tow-path. They gave him his marching orders, a friendly pat on the back, and pushed off into the middle of the river. They watched the little creature as he waddled along the path happily and importantly, until they saw his nose suddenly lift and his waddle turn into a clumsy jog as he quickened his pace with excited whines and wiggles of recognition. Looking upstream, they spotted Otter springing up, tense and alert, from the shallows where he had been patiently waiting. They could hear his amazed and joyful bark as he bounded through the osiers onto the path. Then the Mole, with a strong pull on one oar, turned the boat around and let the current carry them away again, their quest now happily completed.
“I feel strangely tired, Rat,” said the Mole, leaning wearily over his oars as the boat drifted. “It’s being up all night, you’ll say, perhaps; but that’s nothing. We do as much half the nights of the week, at this time of the year. No; I feel as if I had been through something very exciting and rather terrible, and it was just over; and yet nothing particular has happened.”
“I feel oddly tired, Rat,” said the Mole, leaning wearily over his oars as the boat drifted. “You might say it’s because I was up all night, but that’s not it. We do that half the nights of the week this time of year. No; it feels like I’ve been through something really thrilling and kind of scary, and it just ended; yet nothing specific has happened.”
“Or something very surprising and splendid and beautiful,” murmured the Rat, leaning back and closing his eyes. “I feel just as you do, Mole; simply dead tired, though not body tired. It’s lucky we’ve got the stream with us, to take us home. Isn’t it jolly to feel the sun again, soaking into one’s bones! And hark to the wind playing in the reeds!”
“Or something really surprising and amazing and beautiful,” whispered the Rat, leaning back and shutting his eyes. “I feel just like you, Mole; completely worn out, but not in my body. It’s great that we have the stream with us to take us home. Isn’t it great to feel the sun again, soaking into our bones! And listen to the wind playing in the reeds!”
“It’s like music—far away music,” said the Mole nodding drowsily.
“It’s like music—distant music,” said the Mole, nodding sleepily.
“So I was thinking,” murmured the Rat, dreamful and languid. “Dance-music—the lilting sort that runs on without a stop—but with words in it, too—it passes into words and out of them again—I catch them at intervals—then it is dance-music once more, and then nothing but the reeds’ soft thin whispering.”
“So I was thinking,” murmured the Rat, dreamy and relaxed. “Dance music—the kind that flows endlessly—but with lyrics too—it transitions from words and back again—I pick them up occasionally—then it’s dance music again, and then just the soft, gentle whispering of the reeds.”
“You hear better than I,” said the Mole sadly. “I cannot catch the words.”
“You can hear better than I can,” said the Mole sadly. “I can’t catch the words.”
“Let me try and give you them,” said the Rat softly, his eyes still closed. “Now it is turning into words again—faint but clear—Lest the awe should dwell—And turn your frolic to fret—You shall look on my power at the helping hour—But then you shall forget! Now the reeds take it up—forget, forget, they sigh, and it dies away in a rustle and a whisper. Then the voice returns—
“Let me try and share it with you,” said the Rat softly, his eyes still closed. “Now it's turning back into words—faint but clear—Lest the awe should dwell—And turn your frolic to fret—You shall look on my power at the helping hour—But then you shall forget! Now the reeds pick it up—forget, forget, they sigh, and it fades away in a rustle and a whisper. Then the voice returns—
“Lest limbs be reddened and rent—I spring the trap that is set—As I loose the snare you may glimpse me there—For surely you shall forget! Row nearer, Mole, nearer to the reeds! It is hard to catch, and grows each minute fainter.
Before limbs get stained and torn—I release the trap that’s set—As I let go of the snare, you might see me there—For surely you will forget! Row closer, Mole, closer to the reeds! It’s hard to catch, and it gets fainter by the minute.
“Helper and healer, I cheer—Small waifs in the woodland wet—Strays I find in it, wounds I bind in it—Bidding them all forget! Nearer, Mole, nearer! No, it is no good; the song has died away into reed-talk.”
Helper and healer, I cheer—Small lost kids in the damp woods—Strays I find there, wounds I heal there—Telling them all to forget! Closer, Mole, closer! No, it’s no use; the song has faded into the sound of the reeds.
“But what do the words mean?” asked the wondering Mole.
“But what do the words mean?” asked the curious Mole.
“That I do not know,” said the Rat simply. “I passed them on to you as they reached me. Ah! now they return again, and this time full and clear! This time, at last, it is the real, the unmistakable thing, simple—passionate—perfect——”
"That I don't know," said the Rat straightforwardly. "I passed them on to you as I got them. Ah! now they come back again, and this time they're complete and clear! This time, finally, it's the real deal, the unmistakable thing, simple—passionate—perfect——"
“Well, let’s have it, then,” said the Mole, after he had waited patiently for a few minutes, half-dozing in the hot sun.
“Well, let's hear it, then,” said the Mole, after he had waited patiently for a few minutes, half-drifting off in the hot sun.
But no answer came. He looked, and understood the silence. With a smile of much happiness on his face, and something of a listening look still lingering there, the weary Rat was fast asleep.
But no answer came. He looked and understood the silence. With a big smile of happiness on his face, and a hint of a listening expression still lingering there, the tired Rat was sound asleep.
VIII.
TOAD’S ADVENTURES
When Toad found himself immured in a dank and noisome dungeon, and knew that all the grim darkness of a medieval fortress lay between him and the outer world of sunshine and well-metalled high roads where he had lately been so happy, disporting himself as if he had bought up every road in England, he flung himself at full length on the floor, and shed bitter tears, and abandoned himself to dark despair. “This is the end of everything” (he said), “at least it is the end of the career of Toad, which is the same thing; the popular and handsome Toad, the rich and hospitable Toad, the Toad so free and careless and debonair! How can I hope to be ever set at large again” (he said), “who have been imprisoned so justly for stealing so handsome a motor-car in such an audacious manner, and for such lurid and imaginative cheek, bestowed upon such a number of fat, red-faced policemen!” (Here his sobs choked him.) “Stupid animal that I was” (he said), “now I must languish in this dungeon, till people who were proud to say they knew me, have forgotten the very name of Toad! O wise old Badger!” (he said), “O clever, intelligent Rat and sensible Mole! What sound judgments, what a knowledge of men and matters you possess! O unhappy and forsaken Toad!” With lamentations such as these he passed his days and nights for several weeks, refusing his meals or intermediate light refreshments, though the grim and ancient gaoler, knowing that Toad’s pockets were well lined, frequently pointed out that many comforts, and indeed luxuries, could by arrangement be sent in—at a price—from outside.
When Toad found himself trapped in a damp and filthy dungeon, and realized that all the dark gloom of a medieval fortress stood between him and the bright world of sunshine and smooth highways where he had recently been so happy, enjoying himself as if he owned every road in England, he collapsed on the floor and cried bitterly, giving in to dark despair. “This is the end of everything,” he said, “at least it’s the end of Toad’s career, which amounts to the same thing; the popular and handsome Toad, the rich and generous Toad, the Toad who was so carefree and easygoing! How can I ever hope to be free again,” he continued, “after being justly imprisoned for stealing such a flashy motorcar in such a bold way, and for having such audacious and imaginative gall in front of so many fat, red-faced policemen!” (Here, his sobs choked him.) “What a foolish creature I was,” he lamented, “now I must suffer in this dungeon until people who were once proud to know me forget even the name Toad! Oh wise old Badger!” he exclaimed, “Oh clever Rat and sensible Mole! How sound your judgments are, what a deep understanding of people and situations you have! Oh miserable and abandoned Toad!” With cries like these, he passed his days and nights for several weeks, refusing to eat or even take light snacks, although the grim old jailer, knowing that Toad had plenty of money, often pointed out that many comforts, and even luxuries, could be arranged to be sent in—at a price—from the outside.
Now the gaoler had a daughter, a pleasant wench and good-hearted, who assisted her father in the lighter duties of his post. She was particularly fond of animals, and, besides her canary, whose cage hung on a nail in the massive wall of the keep by day, to the great annoyance of prisoners who relished an after-dinner nap, and was shrouded in an antimacassar on the parlour table at night, she kept several piebald mice and a restless revolving squirrel. This kind-hearted girl, pitying the misery of Toad, said to her father one day, “Father! I can’t bear to see that poor beast so unhappy, and getting so thin! You let me have the managing of him. You know how fond of animals I am. I’ll make him eat from my hand, and sit up, and do all sorts of things.”
Now the jailer had a daughter, a cheerful and kind-hearted girl, who helped her father with the lighter tasks of his job. She really loved animals, and besides her canary, which had its cage hanging on a nail in the thick wall of the keep during the day—much to the annoyance of prisoners who enjoyed a post-lunch nap—and was covered with a decorative cloth on the parlor table at night, she also had several piebald mice and a restless little squirrel. This kind girl, feeling sorry for Toad’s misery, said to her father one day, “Dad! I can’t stand seeing that poor creature so unhappy and losing weight! Let me take care of him. You know how much I love animals. I’ll make him eat from my hand, and sit up, and do all sorts of tricks.”
Her father replied that she could do what she liked with him. He was tired of Toad, and his sulks and his airs and his meanness. So that day she went on her errand of mercy, and knocked at the door of Toad’s cell.
Her dad said she could do whatever she wanted with him. He was done with Toad, along with his moods, pretensions, and stinginess. So that day, she went on her mission to help and knocked on the door of Toad's cell.
“Now, cheer up, Toad,” she said, coaxingly, on entering, “and sit up and dry your eyes and be a sensible animal. And do try and eat a bit of dinner. See, I’ve brought you some of mine, hot from the oven!”
“Come on, Toad, cheer up,” she said gently as she walked in, “and sit up, wipe your eyes, and be reasonable. Please try to eat something for dinner. Look, I brought you some of mine, fresh from the oven!”
It was bubble-and-squeak, between two plates, and its fragrance filled the narrow cell. The penetrating smell of cabbage reached the nose of Toad as he lay prostrate in his misery on the floor, and gave him the idea for a moment that perhaps life was not such a blank and desperate thing as he had imagined. But still he wailed, and kicked with his legs, and refused to be comforted. So the wise girl retired for the time, but, of course, a good deal of the smell of hot cabbage remained behind, as it will do, and Toad, between his sobs, sniffed and reflected, and gradually began to think new and inspiring thoughts: of chivalry, and poetry, and deeds still to be done; of broad meadows, and cattle browsing in them, raked by sun and wind; of kitchen-gardens, and straight herb-borders, and warm snap-dragon beset by bees; and of the comforting clink of dishes set down on the table at Toad Hall, and the scrape of chair-legs on the floor as every one pulled himself close up to his work. The air of the narrow cell took a rosy tinge; he began to think of his friends, and how they would surely be able to do something; of lawyers, and how they would have enjoyed his case, and what an ass he had been not to get in a few; and lastly, he thought of his own great cleverness and resource, and all that he was capable of if he only gave his great mind to it; and the cure was almost complete.
It was bubble-and-squeak on two plates, and its smell filled the small cell. The strong odor of cabbage reached Toad's nose as he lay flat on the floor in his misery, and for a moment, it made him think that maybe life wasn’t as blank and hopeless as he had believed. But he still cried out, kicked his legs, and wouldn’t be comforted. So the wise girl left for the time being, but of course, plenty of the hot cabbage smell lingered, as it tends to do. Between sobs, Toad sniffed and reflected, gradually starting to think of new and inspiring ideas: chivalry, poetry, and deeds yet to be accomplished; broad meadows with cattle grazing under the sun and wind; kitchen gardens with neat herb borders and warm snapdragons swarmed by bees; and the reassuring clink of dishes being set on the table at Toad Hall, along with the sound of chair legs scraping on the floor as everyone pulled closer to their work. The air in the small cell took on a rosy hue; he began to think about his friends and how they would surely find a way to help; of lawyers, and how they would have enjoyed taking on his case, and what a fool he had been not to contact a few; and finally, he thought about his own great intelligence and resourcefulness, and all he could achieve if he just applied his strong mind to it; and the healing was nearly complete.
When the girl returned, some hours later, she carried a tray, with a cup of fragrant tea steaming on it; and a plate piled up with very hot buttered toast, cut thick, very brown on both sides, with the butter running through the holes in it in great golden drops, like honey from the honeycomb. The smell of that buttered toast simply talked to Toad, and with no uncertain voice; talked of warm kitchens, of breakfasts on bright frosty mornings, of cosy parlour firesides on winter evenings, when one’s ramble was over and slippered feet were propped on the fender; of the purring of contented cats, and the twitter of sleepy canaries. Toad sat up on end once more, dried his eyes, sipped his tea and munched his toast, and soon began talking freely about himself, and the house he lived in, and his doings there, and how important he was, and what a lot his friends thought of him.
When the girl came back a few hours later, she brought a tray with a cup of fragrant tea steaming on it and a plate stacked with very hot buttered toast, thickly cut, golden brown on both sides, with butter melting through the holes in it like honey from the comb. The smell of that buttered toast spoke to Toad in a way he couldn’t ignore; it reminded him of warm kitchens, breakfasts on bright, frosty mornings, cozy firesides in winter evenings when his adventures were done and his comfy feet were up on the fender; of purring contented cats and the chirping of sleepy canaries. Toad sat up again, dried his eyes, sipped his tea, munched his toast, and soon started talking openly about himself, the house he lived in, his activities there, how important he was, and what a lot his friends thought of him.
The gaoler’s daughter saw that the topic was doing him as much good as the tea, as indeed it was, and encouraged him to go on.
The jailer's daughter noticed that the discussion was helping him just as much as the tea was, which it really was, and she urged him to keep talking.
“Tell me about Toad Hall,” said she. “It sounds beautiful.”
“Tell me about Toad Hall,” she said. “It sounds lovely.”
“Toad Hall,” said the Toad proudly, “is an eligible self-contained gentleman’s residence very unique; dating in part from the fourteenth century, but replete with every modern convenience. Up-to-date sanitation. Five minutes from church, post-office, and golf-links, Suitable for——”
“Toad Hall,” said the Toad proudly, “is a desirable self-contained gentleman’s residence that is quite unique; part of it dates back to the fourteenth century but is equipped with all the modern conveniences. It has up-to-date sanitation. It’s five minutes away from the church, post office, and golf course. Suitable for——”
“Bless the animal,” said the girl, laughing, “I don’t want to take it. Tell me something real about it. But first wait till I fetch you some more tea and toast.”
“Bless the animal,” said the girl, laughing, “I don’t want to take it. Tell me something real about it. But first, wait here while I grab you some more tea and toast.”
She tripped away, and presently returned with a fresh trayful; and Toad, pitching into the toast with avidity, his spirits quite restored to their usual level, told her about the boathouse, and the fish-pond, and the old walled kitchen-garden; and about the pig-styes, and the stables, and the pigeon-house, and the hen-house; and about the dairy, and the wash-house, and the china-cupboards, and the linen-presses (she liked that bit especially); and about the banqueting-hall, and the fun they had there when the other animals were gathered round the table and Toad was at his best, singing songs, telling stories, carrying on generally. Then she wanted to know about his animal-friends, and was very interested in all he had to tell her about them and how they lived, and what they did to pass their time. Of course, she did not say she was fond of animals as pets, because she had the sense to see that Toad would be extremely offended. When she said good night, having filled his water-jug and shaken up his straw for him, Toad was very much the same sanguine, self-satisfied animal that he had been of old. He sang a little song or two, of the sort he used to sing at his dinner-parties, curled himself up in the straw, and had an excellent night’s rest and the pleasantest of dreams.
She walked away and soon came back with a full tray. Toad, diving into the toast with enthusiasm and feeling much better, started telling her about the boathouse, the fish pond, and the old walled kitchen garden; about the pigsties, the stables, the pigeon house, and the hen house; and about the dairy, the wash house, the china cupboards, and the linen presses (she especially liked that part); and about the banquet hall and the fun they had there when the other animals gathered around the table, and Toad was at his best, singing songs, telling stories, and generally having a good time. Then she asked about his animal friends and was very interested in everything he had to say about them, how they lived, and what they did for fun. Of course, she didn’t say she liked animals as pets, because she knew Toad would be very offended. When she said goodnight after filling his water jug and fluffing his straw, Toad was pretty much the same cheerful, self-satisfied animal he always was. He sang a couple of the songs he used to sing at his dinner parties, curled up in the straw, and had a great night’s sleep filled with the nicest dreams.
They had many interesting talks together, after that, as the dreary days went on; and the gaoler’s daughter grew very sorry for Toad, and thought it a great shame that a poor little animal should be locked up in prison for what seemed to her a very trivial offence. Toad, of course, in his vanity, thought that her interest in him proceeded from a growing tenderness; and he could not help half-regretting that the social gulf between them was so very wide, for she was a comely lass, and evidently admired him very much.
They had a lot of interesting conversations together after that, as the gloomy days passed; and the jailer's daughter felt really sorry for Toad, believing it was a great shame that such a poor little creature should be locked up in jail for what seemed to her a very minor offense. Toad, of course, in his vanity, thought that her interest in him came from a growing affection; and he couldn't help but partly regret that the social gap between them was so wide, because she was a pretty girl and clearly admired him a lot.
One morning the girl was very thoughtful, and answered at random, and did not seem to Toad to be paying proper attention to his witty sayings and sparkling comments.
One morning, the girl was really deep in thought and answered randomly, seeming to Toad like she wasn’t paying proper attention to his clever remarks and lively comments.
“Toad,” she said presently, “just listen, please. I have an aunt who is a washerwoman.”
“Toad,” she said after a moment, “just listen, please. I have an aunt who does laundry.”
“There, there,” said Toad, graciously and affably, “never mind; think no more about it. I have several aunts who ought to be washerwomen.”
“There, there,” said Toad, kindly and warmly, “don't worry about it; just forget it. I have several aunts who should be doing laundry for a living.”
“Do be quiet a minute, Toad,” said the girl. “You talk too much, that’s your chief fault, and I’m trying to think, and you hurt my head. As I said, I have an aunt who is a washerwoman; she does the washing for all the prisoners in this castle—we try to keep any paying business of that sort in the family, you understand. She takes out the washing on Monday morning, and brings it in on Friday evening. This is a Thursday. Now, this is what occurs to me: you’re very rich—at least you’re always telling me so—and she’s very poor. A few pounds wouldn’t make any difference to you, and it would mean a lot to her. Now, I think if she were properly approached—squared, I believe is the word you animals use—you could come to some arrangement by which she would let you have her dress and bonnet and so on, and you could escape from the castle as the official washerwoman. You’re very alike in many respects—particularly about the figure.”
“Please be quiet for a minute, Toad,” the girl said. “You talk too much; that’s your main flaw, and I’m trying to think, and it’s giving me a headache. As I mentioned, I have an aunt who works as a washerwoman; she does the laundry for all the prisoners in this castle—we like to keep any paying work like that in the family, you know. She takes the laundry out on Monday morning and brings it back on Friday evening. Today is Thursday. Now, here’s what I’m thinking: you’re very wealthy—at least you always tell me that—and she’s very poor. A few pounds wouldn’t matter to you, but it would mean a lot to her. So, I think if she were approached the right way—squared, I think is the term you animals use—you could work out a deal where she would let you borrow her dress and bonnet and so on, and you could escape from the castle as the official washerwoman. You two are quite similar in many ways—especially in terms of your figures.”
“We’re not,” said the Toad in a huff. “I have a very elegant figure—for what I am.”
“We’re not,” said the Toad, annoyed. “I have a very stylish figure—for what I am.”
“So has my aunt,” replied the girl, “for what she is. But have it your own way. You horrid, proud, ungrateful animal, when I’m sorry for you, and trying to help you!”
“So has my aunt,” replied the girl, “for what she is. But do what you want. You terrible, arrogant, ungrateful creature, when I’m feeling sorry for you and trying to help you!”
“Yes, yes, that’s all right; thank you very much indeed,” said the Toad hurriedly. “But look here! you wouldn’t surely have Mr. Toad of Toad Hall, going about the country disguised as a washerwoman!”
“Yes, yes, that’s all good; thank you very much,” said the Toad quickly. “But come on! You wouldn’t really have Mr. Toad of Toad Hall traveling around the country dressed up as a washerwoman!”
“Then you can stop here as a Toad,” replied the girl with much spirit. “I suppose you want to go off in a coach-and-four!”
“Then you can stop here as a Toad,” replied the girl with a lot of energy. “I guess you want to leave in a fancy carriage!”
Honest Toad was always ready to admit himself in the wrong. “You are a good, kind, clever girl,” he said, “and I am indeed a proud and a stupid toad. Introduce me to your worthy aunt, if you will be so kind, and I have no doubt that the excellent lady and I will be able to arrange terms satisfactory to both parties.”
Honest Toad was always willing to admit when he was wrong. “You’re a good, kind, smart girl,” he said, “and I’m just a proud and foolish toad. Please introduce me to your lovely aunt, if you don’t mind, and I’m sure that the wonderful lady and I can come to an agreement that works for both of us.”
Next evening the girl ushered her aunt into Toad’s cell, bearing his week’s washing pinned up in a towel. The old lady had been prepared beforehand for the interview, and the sight of certain gold sovereigns that Toad had thoughtfully placed on the table in full view practically completed the matter and left little further to discuss. In return for his cash, Toad received a cotton print gown, an apron, a shawl, and a rusty black bonnet; the only stipulation the old lady made being that she should be gagged and bound and dumped down in a corner. By this not very convincing artifice, she explained, aided by picturesque fiction which she could supply herself, she hoped to retain her situation, in spite of the suspicious appearance of things.
The next evening, the girl led her aunt into Toad’s cell, carrying his week’s laundry wrapped in a towel. The old lady had been prepared for the meeting, and the sight of some gold coins that Toad had thoughtfully placed on the table pretty much wrapped things up, leaving little else to talk about. In exchange for his cash, Toad got a cotton dress, an apron, a shawl, and a worn black bonnet; the only condition the old lady made was that she should be gagged and tied up and dumped in a corner. With this not-so-convincing trick, she explained, using colorful stories of her own making, she hoped to keep her job despite the suspicious circumstances.
Toad was delighted with the suggestion. It would enable him to leave the prison in some style, and with his reputation for being a desperate and dangerous fellow untarnished; and he readily helped the gaoler’s daughter to make her aunt appear as much as possible the victim of circumstances over which she had no control.
Toad was thrilled with the suggestion. It would allow him to leave prison in style and keep his reputation as a reckless and dangerous person intact; he eagerly helped the gaoler’s daughter make her aunt seem as much as possible like a victim of circumstances beyond her control.
“Now it’s your turn, Toad,” said the girl. “Take off that coat and waistcoat of yours; you’re fat enough as it is.”
“Now it’s your turn, Toad,” said the girl. “Take off that coat and vest; you’re plenty chubby as it is.”
Shaking with laughter, she proceeded to “hook-and-eye” him into the cotton print gown, arranged the shawl with a professional fold, and tied the strings of the rusty bonnet under his chin.
Shaking with laughter, she went ahead and fastened him into the cotton print gown, neatly arranged the shawl with a perfect fold, and tied the strings of the old bonnet under his chin.
“You’re the very image of her,” she giggled, “only I’m sure you never looked half so respectable in all your life before. Now, good-bye, Toad, and good luck. Go straight down the way you came up; and if any one says anything to you, as they probably will, being but men, you can chaff back a bit, of course, but remember you’re a widow woman, quite alone in the world, with a character to lose.”
“You look just like her,” she laughed, “but I bet you’ve never looked this respectable in your life. Anyway, goodbye, Toad, and good luck. Just go straight back the way you came; and if anyone says anything to you, which they probably will since they're just men, you can banter a bit, of course, but remember you’re a widow, all alone in the world, with a reputation to protect.”
With a quaking heart, but as firm a footstep as he could command, Toad set forth cautiously on what seemed to be a most hare-brained and hazardous undertaking; but he was soon agreeably surprised to find how easy everything was made for him, and a little humbled at the thought that both his popularity, and the sex that seemed to inspire it, were really another’s. The washerwoman’s squat figure in its familiar cotton print seemed a passport for every barred door and grim gateway; even when he hesitated, uncertain as to the right turning to take, he found himself helped out of his difficulty by the warder at the next gate, anxious to be off to his tea, summoning him to come along sharp and not keep him waiting there all night. The chaff and the humourous sallies to which he was subjected, and to which, of course, he had to provide prompt and effective reply, formed, indeed, his chief danger; for Toad was an animal with a strong sense of his own dignity, and the chaff was mostly (he thought) poor and clumsy, and the humour of the sallies entirely lacking. However, he kept his temper, though with great difficulty, suited his retorts to his company and his supposed character, and did his best not to overstep the limits of good taste.
With a racing heart, but as steady a step as he could manage, Toad cautiously set out on what felt like a wildly reckless and dangerous mission; but he was soon pleasantly surprised by how easy everything was for him, and a bit humbled by the realization that both his popularity and the admiration he received were really someone else's doing. The washerwoman’s short figure in her familiar cotton dress seemed to be a ticket for every locked door and intimidating entrance; even when he hesitated, unsure of which way to go, he found himself assisted by the guard at the next gate, eager to get to his tea, urging him to move along quickly and not keep him waiting all night. The teasing and humorous remarks directed at him, to which he had to quickly and effectively respond, were actually his biggest challenge; for Toad had a strong sense of his own dignity, and he thought the teasing was mostly poor and clumsy, and the humor completely absent. However, he managed to keep his cool, despite the difficulty, adjusted his responses to suit his company and the character he was pretending to be, and tried his best not to cross the line of good taste.
It seemed hours before he crossed the last courtyard, rejected the pressing invitations from the last guardroom, and dodged the outspread arms of the last warder, pleading with simulated passion for just one farewell embrace. But at last he heard the wicket-gate in the great outer door click behind him, felt the fresh air of the outer world upon his anxious brow, and knew that he was free!
It felt like hours before he made it across the last courtyard, turned down the persistent invitations from the final guardroom, and sidestepped the open arms of the last warder, who was begging dramatically for just one last goodbye hug. But finally, he heard the small gate in the huge outer door click shut behind him, felt the fresh air of the outside world on his worried face, and realized he was free!
Dizzy with the easy success of his daring exploit, he walked quickly towards the lights of the town, not knowing in the least what he should do next, only quite certain of one thing, that he must remove himself as quickly as possible from the neighbourhood where the lady he was forced to represent was so well-known and so popular a character.
Dizzy from the easy success of his bold stunt, he hurried toward the town lights, unsure of what to do next, but absolutely certain about one thing: he needed to get as far away as possible from the area where the woman he had to impersonate was so well-known and liked.
As he walked along, considering, his attention was caught by some red and green lights a little way off, to one side of the town, and the sound of the puffing and snorting of engines and the banging of shunted trucks fell on his ear. “Aha!” he thought, “this is a piece of luck! A railway station is the thing I want most in the whole world at this moment; and what’s more, I needn’t go through the town to get it, and shan’t have to support this humiliating character by repartees which, though thoroughly effective, do not assist one’s sense of self-respect.”
As he walked, deep in thought, his attention was grabbed by some red and green lights a bit off to the side of the town, along with the sounds of engines puffing and snorting and the clattering of moved railcars. “Aha!” he thought, “this is a stroke of luck! A train station is exactly what I need right now; plus, I don’t have to go through the town to get there, and I won’t have to keep up this embarrassing persona with quick replies that, while effective, don't help my self-respect.”
He made his way to the station accordingly, consulted a time-table, and found that a train, bound more or less in the direction of his home, was due to start in half-an-hour. “More luck!” said Toad, his spirits rising rapidly, and went off to the booking-office to buy his ticket.
He headed to the station, checked the schedule, and saw that a train heading roughly toward his home would leave in thirty minutes. “What luck!” Toad exclaimed, his spirits lifting quickly, and he went to the ticket counter to buy his ticket.
He gave the name of the station that he knew to be nearest to the village of which Toad Hall was the principal feature, and mechanically put his fingers, in search of the necessary money, where his waistcoat pocket should have been. But here the cotton gown, which had nobly stood by him so far, and which he had basely forgotten, intervened, and frustrated his efforts. In a sort of nightmare he struggled with the strange uncanny thing that seemed to hold his hands, turn all muscular strivings to water, and laugh at him all the time; while other travellers, forming up in a line behind, waited with impatience, making suggestions of more or less value and comments of more or less stringency and point. At last—somehow—he never rightly understood how—he burst the barriers, attained the goal, arrived at where all waistcoat pockets are eternally situated, and found—not only no money, but no pocket to hold it, and no waistcoat to hold the pocket!
He mentioned the name of the station he knew was closest to the village where Toad Hall was the main attraction. He then instinctively searched for his money in what should have been his waistcoat pocket. However, the cotton gown he had been wearing, which had reliably served him until now, got in the way and thwarted his efforts. In a sort of nightmare, he wrestled with this strange, eerie garment that seemed to restrain his hands, turning all his efforts into nothing and laughing at him the whole time. Meanwhile, other travelers formed a line behind him, waiting impatiently and offering various suggestions and comments, some helpful and some not so much. Finally—somehow—he broke through the barriers, reached his goal, and got to where waistcoat pockets are always located, only to find—not only was there no money, but also no pocket to hold it, and no waistcoat to hold the pocket!
To his horror he recollected that he had left both coat and waistcoat behind him in his cell, and with them his pocket-book, money, keys, watch, matches, pencil-case—all that makes life worth living, all that distinguishes the many-pocketed animal, the lord of creation, from the inferior one-pocketed or no-pocketed productions that hop or trip about permissively, unequipped for the real contest.
To his shock, he remembered that he had left both his coat and vest in his cell, along with his wallet, cash, keys, watch, matches, and pencil case—all the things that make life worthwhile, everything that separates the multi-pocketed being, the master of the universe, from the lesser one-pocketed or pocketless creatures that wander around casually, unprepared for the real challenges.
In his misery he made one desperate effort to carry the thing off, and, with a return to his fine old manner—a blend of the Squire and the College Don—he said, “Look here! I find I’ve left my purse behind. Just give me that ticket, will you, and I’ll send the money on to-morrow? I’m well-known in these parts.”
In his misery, he made a desperate attempt to handle the situation, and, returning to his charming old style—a mix of the landowner and the university professor—he said, “Hey! I realize I forgot my wallet. Can you just give me that ticket, and I’ll send the money tomorrow? I’m well-known around here.”
The clerk stared at him and the rusty black bonnet a moment, and then laughed. “I should think you were pretty well known in these parts,” he said, “if you’ve tried this game on often. Here, stand away from the window, please, madam; you’re obstructing the other passengers!”
The clerk looked at him and the rusty black hood for a moment, then laughed. “I’d say you’re pretty well known around here if you’ve pulled this trick before. Now, could you please step away from the window, ma’am? You’re blocking the other passengers!”
An old gentleman who had been prodding him in the back for some moments here thrust him away, and, what was worse, addressed him as his good woman, which angered Toad more than anything that had occurred that evening.
An old man who had been poking him in the back for a while suddenly pushed him away and, even worse, called him "my good woman," which made Toad angrier than anything else that had happened that night.
Baffled and full of despair, he wandered blindly down the platform where the train was standing, and tears trickled down each side of his nose. It was hard, he thought, to be within sight of safety and almost of home, and to be baulked by the want of a few wretched shillings and by the pettifogging mistrustfulness of paid officials. Very soon his escape would be discovered, the hunt would be up, he would be caught, reviled, loaded with chains, dragged back again to prison and bread-and-water and straw; his guards and penalties would be doubled; and O, what sarcastic remarks the girl would make! What was to be done? He was not swift of foot; his figure was unfortunately recognisable. Could he not squeeze under the seat of a carriage? He had seen this method adopted by schoolboys, when the journey-money provided by thoughtful parents had been diverted to other and better ends. As he pondered, he found himself opposite the engine, which was being oiled, wiped, and generally caressed by its affectionate driver, a burly man with an oil-can in one hand and a lump of cotton-waste in the other.
Baffled and full of despair, he wandered aimlessly down the platform where the train was waiting, and tears streamed down each side of his nose. It was tough, he thought, to be so close to safety and almost home, and to be held back by the lack of a few miserable coins and the petty mistrust of paid officials. Very soon, they would discover his escape, the search would begin, he would be caught, scorned, shackled, and dragged back to prison for bread-and-water and straw; his guards and punishments would be doubled; and oh, the sarcastic comments the girl would make! What could he do? He wasn't quick on his feet; his appearance was unfortunately recognizable. Could he squeeze under a train seat? He had seen schoolboys do this when the travel money from their thoughtful parents had been spent on better things. As he thought about it, he found himself in front of the engine, which was being oiled, wiped, and generally pampered by its devoted driver, a burly man with an oil can in one hand and a piece of cotton waste in the other.
“Hullo, mother!” said the engine-driver, “what’s the trouble? You don’t look particularly cheerful.”
“Hey, Mom!” said the train driver, “What’s wrong? You don’t look very happy.”
“O, sir!” said Toad, crying afresh, “I am a poor unhappy washerwoman, and I’ve lost all my money, and can’t pay for a ticket, and I must get home to-night somehow, and whatever I am to do I don’t know. O dear, O dear!”
“O, sir!” said Toad, crying again, “I’m just a poor, unhappy washerwoman. I’ve lost all my money and can’t afford a ticket. I have to get home tonight somehow, and I don’t know what to do. Oh dear, oh dear!”
“That’s a bad business, indeed,” said the engine-driver reflectively. “Lost your money—and can’t get home—and got some kids, too, waiting for you, I dare say?”
"That’s a tough situation, really," the train driver said thoughtfully. "You’ve lost your money—can’t make it back home—and I bet you have some kids waiting for you, right?"
“Any amount of ’em,” sobbed Toad. “And they’ll be hungry—and playing with matches—and upsetting lamps, the little innocents!—and quarrelling, and going on generally. O dear, O dear!”
“Any amount of them,” sobbed Toad. “And they’ll be hungry—and playing with matches—and tipping over lamps, the little innocents!—and arguing, and just causing trouble. Oh dear, oh dear!”
“Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do,” said the good engine-driver. “You’re a washerwoman to your trade, says you. Very well, that’s that. And I’m an engine-driver, as you well may see, and there’s no denying it’s terribly dirty work. Uses up a power of shirts, it does, till my missus is fair tired of washing of ’em. If you’ll wash a few shirts for me when you get home, and send ’em along, I’ll give you a ride on my engine. It’s against the Company’s regulations, but we’re not so very particular in these out-of-the-way parts.”
“Well, here’s what I’ll do,” said the friendly train driver. “You say you’re a washerwoman by trade. That’s fair enough. And I’m a train driver, as you can see, and there’s no denying it’s really messy work. I go through a ton of shirts, and my wife is completely worn out from washing them. If you could wash a few shirts for me when you get home and send them over, I’ll give you a ride on my train. It’s against the Company’s rules, but we’re not too strict about that in these remote areas.”
The Toad’s misery turned into rapture as he eagerly scrambled up into the cab of the engine. Of course, he had never washed a shirt in his life, and couldn’t if he tried and, anyhow, he wasn’t going to begin; but he thought: “When I get safely home to Toad Hall, and have money again, and pockets to put it in, I will send the engine-driver enough to pay for quite a quantity of washing, and that will be the same thing, or better.”
The Toad’s misery turned into joy as he eagerly climbed into the cab of the engine. He had never washed a shirt in his life and wouldn’t know how to if he tried, and anyway, he wasn’t going to start now; but he thought, “When I get safely home to Toad Hall, and have money again, and pockets to put it in, I’ll send the engine driver enough to cover quite a bit of laundry, and that will be just as good, if not better.”
The guard waved his welcome flag, the engine-driver whistled in cheerful response, and the train moved out of the station. As the speed increased, and the Toad could see on either side of him real fields, and trees, and hedges, and cows, and horses, all flying past him, and as he thought how every minute was bringing him nearer to Toad Hall, and sympathetic friends, and money to chink in his pocket, and a soft bed to sleep in, and good things to eat, and praise and admiration at the recital of his adventures and his surpassing cleverness, he began to skip up and down and shout and sing snatches of song, to the great astonishment of the engine-driver, who had come across washerwomen before, at long intervals, but never one at all like this.
The guard waved his welcome flag, the train driver whistled back happily, and the train left the station. As the speed picked up, the Toad saw real fields, trees, hedges, cows, and horses whizzing by him. He thought about how every minute was bringing him closer to Toad Hall, his supportive friends, cash to jingle in his pocket, a comfy bed to sleep in, tasty food, and the praise and admiration he would receive for telling his stories of adventure and brilliance. He started to skip up and down, shouting and singing bits of songs, leaving the train driver very surprised, as he had encountered washerwomen before, but none like this one.
They had covered many and many a mile, and Toad was already considering what he would have for supper as soon as he got home, when he noticed that the engine-driver, with a puzzled expression on his face, was leaning over the side of the engine and listening hard. Then he saw him climb on to the coals and gaze out over the top of the train; then he returned and said to Toad: “It’s very strange; we’re the last train running in this direction to-night, yet I could be sworn that I heard another following us!”
They had traveled quite a distance, and Toad was already thinking about what he would have for dinner when he noticed the engineer, looking confused, leaning over the side of the engine and listening intently. Then he saw him climb onto the coal and look out over the top of the train; after that, he came back and said to Toad: “It’s really odd; we’re the last train running in this direction tonight, but I could swear I heard another one following us!”
Toad ceased his frivolous antics at once. He became grave and depressed, and a dull pain in the lower part of his spine, communicating itself to his legs, made him want to sit down and try desperately not to think of all the possibilities.
Toad stopped his silly antics immediately. He grew serious and downcast, and a dull pain in his lower back, radiating to his legs, made him want to sit down and desperately try not to think about all the possibilities.
By this time the moon was shining brightly, and the engine-driver, steadying himself on the coal, could command a view of the line behind them for a long distance.
By this time, the moon was shining brightly, and the train driver, steadying himself on the coal, could see the tracks behind them for quite a distance.
Presently he called out, “I can see it clearly now! It is an engine, on our rails, coming along at a great pace! It looks as if we were being pursued!”
Right now he shouted, “I can see it clearly! It’s a train on our tracks, coming fast! It looks like we’re being chased!”
The miserable Toad, crouching in the coal-dust, tried hard to think of something to do, with dismal want of success.
The miserable Toad, huddled in the coal dust, desperately tried to come up with something to do, but had no luck at all.
“They are gaining on us fast!” cried the engine-driver. And the engine is crowded with the queerest lot of people! Men like ancient warders, waving halberds; policemen in their helmets, waving truncheons; and shabbily dressed men in pot-hats, obvious and unmistakable plain-clothes detectives even at this distance, waving revolvers and walking-sticks; all waving, and all shouting the same thing—‘Stop, stop, stop!’”
“They’re catching up to us quickly!” shouted the driver. The engine is packed with the strangest group of people! Men who look like old guards, waving halberds; police officers in their helmets, waving batons; and poorly dressed men in top hats, clearly plainclothes detectives even from this distance, waving guns and walking sticks; all of them waving and shouting the same thing—‘Stop, stop, stop!’”
Then Toad fell on his knees among the coals and, raising his clasped paws in supplication, cried, “Save me, only save me, dear kind Mr. Engine-driver, and I will confess everything! I am not the simple washerwoman I seem to be! I have no children waiting for me, innocent or otherwise! I am a toad—the well-known and popular Mr. Toad, a landed proprietor; I have just escaped, by my great daring and cleverness, from a loathsome dungeon into which my enemies had flung me; and if those fellows on that engine recapture me, it will be chains and bread-and-water and straw and misery once more for poor, unhappy, innocent Toad!”
Then Toad dropped to his knees among the coals and, raising his clasped hands in plea, cried, “Please save me, kind Mr. Engine-driver! I promise I’ll confess everything! I’m not just a simple washerwoman like I seem! I don’t have any children waiting for me, innocent or otherwise! I’m a toad—the famous and well-liked Mr. Toad, a landowner; I just escaped from a horrible dungeon where my enemies had thrown me, due to my bravery and cleverness; and if those guys on that engine catch me again, it’ll be chains, bread-and-water, straw, and misery once more for poor, unhappy, innocent Toad!”
The engine-driver looked down upon him very sternly, and said, “Now tell the truth; what were you put in prison for?”
The train conductor looked at him very seriously and said, “Now tell the truth; why were you sent to prison?”
“It was nothing very much,” said poor Toad, colouring deeply. “I only borrowed a motorcar while the owners were at lunch; they had no need of it at the time. I didn’t mean to steal it, really; but people—especially magistrates—take such harsh views of thoughtless and high-spirited actions.”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” said poor Toad, turning bright red. “I just borrowed a motorcar while the owners were at lunch; they didn’t need it at the time. I didn’t mean to steal it, honestly; but people—especially judges—are so harsh about thoughtless and spirited actions.”
The engine-driver looked very grave and said, “I fear that you have been indeed a wicked toad, and by rights I ought to give you up to offended justice. But you are evidently in sore trouble and distress, so I will not desert you. I don’t hold with motor-cars, for one thing; and I don’t hold with being ordered about by policemen when I’m on my own engine, for another. And the sight of an animal in tears always makes me feel queer and softhearted. So cheer up, Toad! I’ll do my best, and we may beat them yet!”
The train driver looked very serious and said, “I’m afraid you’ve really been a terrible toad, and I should turn you over to the law. But clearly, you’re in a lot of trouble and distress, so I won’t abandon you. For one, I’m not a fan of cars, and for another, I don’t like being bossed around by police when I’m driving my own train. And seeing an animal in tears always makes me feel strange and softhearted. So cheer up, Toad! I’ll do my best, and we might just beat them!”
They piled on more coals, shovelling furiously; the furnace roared, the sparks flew, the engine leapt and swung but still their pursuers slowly gained. The engine-driver, with a sigh, wiped his brow with a handful of cotton-waste, and said, “I’m afraid it’s no good, Toad. You see, they are running light, and they have the better engine. There’s just one thing left for us to do, and it’s your only chance, so attend very carefully to what I tell you. A short way ahead of us is a long tunnel, and on the other side of that the line passes through a thick wood. Now, I will put on all the speed I can while we are running through the tunnel, but the other fellows will slow down a bit, naturally, for fear of an accident. When we are through, I will shut off steam and put on brakes as hard as I can, and the moment it’s safe to do so you must jump and hide in the wood, before they get through the tunnel and see you. Then I will go full speed ahead again, and they can chase me if they like, for as long as they like, and as far as they like. Now mind and be ready to jump when I tell you!”
They shoveled more coals frantically; the furnace roared, sparks flew, the engine surged and swayed, but their pursuers still slowly closed in. The engine driver let out a sigh, wiped his brow with a handful of cotton waste, and said, “I’m afraid it’s not going to work, Toad. They’re moving faster because they have a lighter load and a better engine. There’s just one thing left for us to do, and it’s your only chance, so listen very closely to what I say. A short distance ahead is a long tunnel, and on the other side, the tracks go through a dense forest. I’ll push the speed as much as I can while we’re in the tunnel, but they’ll slow down a bit, of course, to avoid an accident. Once we’re through, I’ll cut the steam and brake as hard as I can, and as soon as it’s safe, you need to jump and hide in the woods before they get through the tunnel and see you. Then I’ll speed up again, and they can chase me for as long as they want, wherever they want. So be ready to jump when I tell you!”
They piled on more coals, and the train shot into the tunnel, and the engine rushed and roared and rattled, till at last they shot out at the other end into fresh air and the peaceful moonlight, and saw the wood lying dark and helpful upon either side of the line. The driver shut off steam and put on brakes, the Toad got down on the step, and as the train slowed down to almost a walking pace he heard the driver call out, “Now, jump!”
They added more coal, and the train raced into the tunnel, the engine speeding and roaring and shaking until finally they burst out the other side into fresh air and the calm moonlight, seeing the dark woods on either side of the tracks. The driver cut the steam and applied the brakes, the Toad stepped down to the platform, and as the train slowed to nearly a walking pace, he heard the driver shout, “Now, jump!”
Toad jumped, rolled down a short embankment, picked himself up unhurt, scrambled into the wood and hid.
Toad jumped, rolled down a small hill, got up unhurt, scrambled into the woods, and hid.
Peeping out, he saw his train get up speed again and disappear at a great pace. Then out of the tunnel burst the pursuing engine, roaring and whistling, her motley crew waving their various weapons and shouting, “Stop! stop! stop!” When they were past, the Toad had a hearty laugh—for the first time since he was thrown into prison.
Peeking out, he saw his train accelerate again and vanish quickly. Then, out of the tunnel came the chasing engine, roaring and whistling, its diverse crew waving their weapons and shouting, “Stop! stop! stop!” Once they’d passed, the Toad had a good laugh—for the first time since he had been thrown into prison.
But he soon stopped laughing when he came to consider that it was now very late and dark and cold, and he was in an unknown wood, with no money and no chance of supper, and still far from friends and home; and the dead silence of everything, after the roar and rattle of the train, was something of a shock. He dared not leave the shelter of the trees, so he struck into the wood, with the idea of leaving the railway as far as possible behind him.
But he quickly stopped laughing when he realized it was really late, dark, and cold, and he was in an unfamiliar woods, with no money and no chance of dinner, still far from friends and home. The complete silence after the loud train ride was quite a shock. He didn't dare leave the shelter of the trees, so he ventured deeper into the woods, wanting to put as much distance from the railway as he could.
After so many weeks within walls, he found the wood strange and unfriendly and inclined, he thought, to make fun of him. Night-jars, sounding their mechanical rattle, made him think that the wood was full of searching warders, closing in on him. An owl, swooping noiselessly towards him, brushed his shoulder with its wing, making him jump with the horrid certainty that it was a hand; then flitted off, moth-like, laughing its low ho! ho! ho; which Toad thought in very poor taste. Once he met a fox, who stopped, looked him up and down in a sarcastic sort of way, and said, “Hullo, washerwoman! Half a pair of socks and a pillow-case short this week! Mind it doesn’t occur again!” and swaggered off, sniggering. Toad looked about for a stone to throw at him, but could not succeed in finding one, which vexed him more than anything. At last, cold, hungry, and tired out, he sought the shelter of a hollow tree, where with branches and dead leaves he made himself as comfortable a bed as he could, and slept soundly till the morning.
After so many weeks stuck inside, he found the woods strange and unfriendly, as if they were mocking him. The night-jars, making their mechanical rattle, made him feel like the woods were full of searching guards closing in on him. An owl swooped silently toward him and brushed his shoulder with its wing, causing him to jump with the awful certainty that it was a hand; then it flitted away, like a moth, laughing its low "ho! ho! ho!" which Toad thought was in very poor taste. Once, he encountered a fox who stopped, looked him up and down sarcastically, and said, “Hey there, washerwoman! Missing half a pair of socks and a pillowcase this week! Hope it doesn’t happen again!” before swaggering off, snickering. Toad searched for a stone to throw at him but couldn't find one, which frustrated him more than anything. Finally, cold, hungry, and exhausted, he sought shelter in a hollow tree, where he used branches and dead leaves to make himself as comfortable a bed as possible, and slept soundly until morning.
IX.
WAYFARERS ALL
The Water Rat was restless, and he did not exactly know why. To all appearance the summer’s pomp was still at fullest height, and although in the tilled acres green had given way to gold, though rowans were reddening, and the woods were dashed here and there with a tawny fierceness, yet light and warmth and colour were still present in undiminished measure, clean of any chilly premonitions of the passing year. But the constant chorus of the orchards and hedges had shrunk to a casual evensong from a few yet unwearied performers; the robin was beginning to assert himself once more; and there was a feeling in the air of change and departure. The cuckoo, of course, had long been silent; but many another feathered friend, for months a part of the familiar landscape and its small society, was missing too and it seemed that the ranks thinned steadily day by day. Rat, ever observant of all winged movement, saw that it was taking daily a southing tendency; and even as he lay in bed at night he thought he could make out, passing in the darkness overhead, the beat and quiver of impatient pinions, obedient to the peremptory call.
The Water Rat was feeling restless, though he wasn’t quite sure why. Summer still seemed to be at its peak, and even though the green fields had turned to gold, the rowan berries were ripening, and the woods were streaked with a fierce tawny color, the light, warmth, and color were still strong, without any chilly hints of the year winding down. But the lively sounds of the orchards and hedges had faded to a casual evening song from just a few remaining performers; the robin was starting to make his presence known again, and there was a sense of change and departure in the air. The cuckoo had been silent for a while, but many other familiar birds, which had been part of the landscape and its small community for months, were also missing, and it felt like the numbers were declining day by day. Rat, always attentive to the movements of birds, noticed that they seemed to be heading south more frequently; even while lying in bed at night, he thought he could hear the rustle and flutter of restless wings passing overhead in the darkness, responding to an urgent call.
Nature’s Grand Hotel has its Season, like the others. As the guests one by one pack, pay, and depart, and the seats at the table-d’hôte shrink pitifully at each succeeding meal; as suites of rooms are closed, carpets taken up, and waiters sent away; those boarders who are staying on, en pension, until the next year’s full re-opening, cannot help being somewhat affected by all these flittings and farewells, this eager discussion of plans, routes, and fresh quarters, this daily shrinkage in the stream of comradeship. One gets unsettled, depressed, and inclined to be querulous. Why this craving for change? Why not stay on quietly here, like us, and be jolly? You don’t know this hotel out of the season, and what fun we have among ourselves, we fellows who remain and see the whole interesting year out. All very true, no doubt the others always reply; we quite envy you—and some other year perhaps—but just now we have engagements—and there’s the bus at the door—our time is up! So they depart, with a smile and a nod, and we miss them, and feel resentful. The Rat was a self-sufficing sort of animal, rooted to the land, and, whoever went, he stayed; still, he could not help noticing what was in the air, and feeling some of its influence in his bones.
Nature’s Grand Hotel has its season, just like the others. As guests pack their bags, settle their bills, and leave one by one, the seats at the table-d’hôte grow fewer with each meal; as rooms are closed, carpets are rolled up, and waiters are sent away; those who are staying on, en pension, until the hotel fully reopens next year cannot help but feel affected by all the comings and goings, the eager discussions about plans, routes, and new places to stay, this daily decrease in the flow of camaraderie. It can make one feel unsettled, down, and a bit irritable. Why the need for change? Why not stay here with us and enjoy ourselves? You don’t know this hotel during the off-season, and the fun we have among us who stick around to experience the entire year. It’s all very true, the others always reply; we definitely envy you—and maybe another year—but right now we have commitments—and there’s the bus waiting—our time’s up! So they leave, with a smile and a wave, and we miss them and feel a bit resentful. The Rat was a self-sufficient kind of creature, anchored to the land, and no matter who left, he stayed; still, he couldn’t help but notice what was in the air and feel some of its impact in his bones.
It was difficult to settle down to anything seriously, with all this flitting going on. Leaving the water-side, where rushes stood thick and tall in a stream that was becoming sluggish and low, he wandered country-wards, crossed a field or two of pasturage already looking dusty and parched, and thrust into the great sea of wheat, yellow, wavy, and murmurous, full of quiet motion and small whisperings. Here he often loved to wander, through the forest of stiff strong stalks that carried their own golden sky away over his head—a sky that was always dancing, shimmering, softly talking; or swaying strongly to the passing wind and recovering itself with a toss and a merry laugh. Here, too, he had many small friends, a society complete in itself, leading full and busy lives, but always with a spare moment to gossip, and exchange news with a visitor. Today, however, though they were civil enough, the field-mice and harvest-mice seemed preoccupied. Many were digging and tunnelling busily; others, gathered together in small groups, examined plans and drawings of small flats, stated to be desirable and compact, and situated conveniently near the Stores. Some were hauling out dusty trunks and dress-baskets, others were already elbow-deep packing their belongings; while everywhere piles and bundles of wheat, oats, barley, beech-mast and nuts, lay about ready for transport.
It was hard to focus on anything serious with all the distractions around. Leaving the riverside, where tall rushes stood thick in a stream that was getting sluggish and shallow, he wandered into the countryside, crossed a couple of fields that looked dry and parched, and stepped into the vast sea of wheat—yellow, wavy, and buzzing with quiet movement and whispers. Here, he often enjoyed wandering through the forest of sturdy stalks that lifted their own golden sky above him—a sky that was always dancing, shimmering, and softly chatting; or swaying strongly in the passing wind, bouncing back with a toss and a cheerful laugh. He also had many little friends here, a community entirely on its own, living busy lives but always finding a moment to chat and share news with a visitor. Today, though they were polite enough, the field mice and harvest mice seemed distracted. Many were digging and tunneling busily; others, huddled in small groups, were looking over plans and sketches for small, desirable, and compact flats situated conveniently near the Stores. Some were pulling out dusty trunks and dress-baskets, while others were already deep into packing their things; and everywhere, piles and bundles of wheat, oats, barley, beech-mast, and nuts lay ready for transport.
“Here’s old Ratty!” they cried as soon as they saw him. “Come and bear a hand, Rat, and don’t stand about idle!”
“Here’s old Ratty!” they shouted as soon as they saw him. “Come and help out, Rat, and don’t just stand there doing nothing!”
“What sort of games are you up to?” said the Water Rat severely. “You know it isn’t time to be thinking of winter quarters yet, by a long way!”
“What kind of games are you playing?” asked the Water Rat firmly. “You know it’s way too early to be thinking about winter quarters!”
“O yes, we know that,” explained a field-mouse rather shamefacedly; “but it’s always as well to be in good time, isn’t it? We really must get all the furniture and baggage and stores moved out of this before those horrid machines begin clicking round the fields; and then, you know, the best flats get picked up so quickly nowadays, and if you’re late you have to put up with anything; and they want such a lot of doing up, too, before they’re fit to move into. Of course, we’re early, we know that; but we’re only just making a start.”
“Oh yes, we get that,” a field mouse said a bit sheepishly; “but it’s always better to be prepared, right? We really have to get all the furniture, stuff, and supplies moved out of here before those awful machines start clanking around the fields; and you know, the best spots get taken so quickly these days, and if you’re late, you end up with anything; plus, they need so much fixing up before they’re livable. Sure, we’re early, we know that; but we’re just getting started.”
“O, bother starts,” said the Rat. “It’s a splendid day. Come for a row, or a stroll along the hedges, or a picnic in the woods, or something.”
“O, bother starts,” said the Rat. “It’s a beautiful day. Come for a row, or a walk along the hedges, or a picnic in the woods, or something.”
“Well, I think not to-day, thank you,” replied the field-mouse hurriedly. “Perhaps some other day—when we’ve more time——”
“Well, I don’t think so today, thanks,” replied the field-mouse quickly. “Maybe another day—when we have more time——”
The Rat, with a snort of contempt, swung round to go, tripped over a hat-box, and fell, with undignified remarks.
The Rat, with a disgusted snort, turned to leave, tripped over a hat box, and fell, making some less-than-graceful comments.
“If people would be more careful,” said a field-mouse rather stiffly, “and look where they’re going, people wouldn’t hurt themselves—and forget themselves. Mind that hold-all, Rat! You’d better sit down somewhere. In an hour or two we may be more free to attend to you.”
“If people were more careful,” said a field mouse somewhat stiffly, “and paid attention to where they’re going, they wouldn’t get hurt—or lose themselves. Watch that bag, Rat! You should sit down somewhere. In an hour or two, we might be able to focus on you more.”
“You won’t be ‘free’ as you call it much this side of Christmas, I can see that,” retorted the Rat grumpily, as he picked his way out of the field.
“You won’t be ‘free’ like you say much before Christmas, I can see that,” the Rat replied grumpily as he made his way out of the field.
He returned somewhat despondently to his river again—his faithful, steady-going old river, which never packed up, flitted, or went into winter quarters.
He returned somewhat sadly to his river again—his loyal, dependable old river, which never packed up, vanished, or went into hibernation.
In the osiers which fringed the bank he spied a swallow sitting. Presently it was joined by another, and then by a third; and the birds, fidgeting restlessly on their bough, talked together earnestly and low.
In the willows along the bank, he spotted a swallow resting. Soon, another one joined it, and then a third; the birds, shifting restlessly on their branch, chatted together quietly and seriously.
“What, already,” said the Rat, strolling up to them. “What’s the hurry? I call it simply ridiculous.”
“What, already,” said the Rat, walking up to them. “What’s the rush? I think it’s just ridiculous.”
“O, we’re not off yet, if that’s what you mean,” replied the first swallow. “We’re only making plans and arranging things. Talking it over, you know—what route we’re taking this year, and where we’ll stop, and so on. That’s half the fun!”
“O, we’re not leaving yet, if that’s what you mean,” replied the first swallow. “We’re just making plans and getting organized. Discussing it, you know—what route we’re taking this year, and where we’ll stop, and all that. That’s half the fun!”
“Fun?” said the Rat; “now that’s just what I don’t understand. If you’ve got to leave this pleasant place, and your friends who will miss you, and your snug homes that you’ve just settled into, why, when the hour strikes I’ve no doubt you’ll go bravely, and face all the trouble and discomfort and change and newness, and make believe that you’re not very unhappy. But to want to talk about it, or even think about it, till you really need——”
“Fun?” said the Rat; “that’s exactly what I don’t get. If you have to leave this nice place, and your friends who will miss you, and your cozy homes that you’ve just settled into, I’m sure when the time comes you’ll go bravely, face all the trouble and discomfort and change and newness, and pretend that you’re not too unhappy. But to want to talk about it, or even think about it, until you really have to——”
“No, you don’t understand, naturally,” said the second swallow. “First, we feel it stirring within us, a sweet unrest; then back come the recollections one by one, like homing pigeons. They flutter through our dreams at night, they fly with us in our wheelings and circlings by day. We hunger to inquire of each other, to compare notes and assure ourselves that it was all really true, as one by one the scents and sounds and names of long-forgotten places come gradually back and beckon to us.”
“No, you don’t get it, of course,” said the second swallow. “First, we feel a sweet restlessness stirring inside us; then the memories come back one by one, like homing pigeons. They flutter through our dreams at night and soar with us as we fly in circles during the day. We long to ask one another questions, to share our experiences and reassure ourselves that it was all really true, as the scents, sounds, and names of long-forgotten places slowly return and call to us.”
“Couldn’t you stop on for just this year?” suggested the Water Rat, wistfully. “We’ll all do our best to make you feel at home. You’ve no idea what good times we have here, while you are far away.”
“Couldn’t you stay for just this year?” the Water Rat suggested, sadly. “We’ll all do our best to make you feel at home. You have no idea how much fun we have here while you’re far away.”
“I tried ‘stopping on’ one year,” said the third swallow. “I had grown so fond of the place that when the time came I hung back and let the others go on without me. For a few weeks it was all well enough, but afterwards, O the weary length of the nights! The shivering, sunless days! The air so clammy and chill, and not an insect in an acre of it! No, it was no good; my courage broke down, and one cold, stormy night I took wing, flying well inland on account of the strong easterly gales. It was snowing hard as I beat through the passes of the great mountains, and I had a stiff fight to win through; but never shall I forget the blissful feeling of the hot sun again on my back as I sped down to the lakes that lay so blue and placid below me, and the taste of my first fat insect! The past was like a bad dream; the future was all happy holiday as I moved southwards week by week, easily, lazily, lingering as long as I dared, but always heeding the call! No, I had had my warning; never again did I think of disobedience.”
“I tried staying one year,” said the third swallow. “I had grown so attached to the place that when the time came, I hung back and let the others leave without me. For a few weeks, it was fine, but after that, oh, the long, exhausting nights! The cold, sunless days! The air was so damp and chilly, and there wasn’t a single insect to be found! No, it was no good; my resolve crumbled, and one cold, stormy night, I took off, flying well inland because of the strong easterly winds. It was snowing heavily as I fought my way through the mountain passes, and it was tough going; but I will never forget the wonderful feeling of the warm sun on my back as I swooped down to the lakes that lay so blue and calm below me, and the taste of my first fat insect! The past felt like a bad dream; the future was all about happy adventures as I moved south week by week, easily, lazily, lingering as long as I could, but always listening for the call! No, I had received my warning; I never thought of disobedience again.”
“Ah, yes, the call of the South, of the South!” twittered the other two dreamily. “Its songs its hues, its radiant air! O, do you remember——” and, forgetting the Rat, they slid into passionate reminiscence, while he listened fascinated, and his heart burned within him. In himself, too, he knew that it was vibrating at last, that chord hitherto dormant and unsuspected. The mere chatter of these southern-bound birds, their pale and second-hand reports, had yet power to awaken this wild new sensation and thrill him through and through with it; what would one moment of the real thing work in him—one passionate touch of the real southern sun, one waft of the authentic odor? With closed eyes he dared to dream a moment in full abandonment, and when he looked again the river seemed steely and chill, the green fields grey and lightless. Then his loyal heart seemed to cry out on his weaker self for its treachery.
“Ah, yes, the call of the South, of the South!” chirped the other two dreamily. “Its songs, its colors, its bright air! Oh, do you remember——” and, forgetting about the Rat, they fell into passionate memories, while he listened, captivated, with his heart burning within him. He knew that the dormant chord within him was finally resonating. Even the simple chatter of these birds heading south, their pale and second-hand stories, had the power to awaken this wild new feeling and thrill him completely; what would a single moment of the real thing do—one passionate touch of the true southern sun, one breath of the authentic scent? With his eyes closed, he allowed himself to dream for a moment entirely, and when he opened them again, the river looked steely and cold, the green fields appeared gray and lifeless. Then his loyal heart seemed to accuse his weaker self for its betrayal.
“Why do you ever come back, then, at all?” he demanded of the swallows jealously. “What do you find to attract you in this poor drab little country?”
“Why do you even come back here at all?” he asked the swallows jealously. “What do you find that attracts you to this dull little country?”
“And do you think,” said the first swallow, “that the other call is not for us too, in its due season? The call of lush meadow-grass, wet orchards, warm, insect-haunted ponds, of browsing cattle, of haymaking, and all the farm-buildings clustering round the House of the perfect Eaves?”
“And do you think,” said the first swallow, “that the other call isn’t for us too, in its own time? The call of lush meadow grass, wet orchards, warm, insect-filled ponds, grazing cattle, haymaking, and all the farm buildings gathered around the House of the perfect Eaves?”
“Do you suppose,” asked the second one, that you are the only living thing that craves with a hungry longing to hear the cuckoo’s note again?”
“Do you think,” asked the second one, “that you’re the only living being that eagerly longs to hear the cuckoo’s call again?”
“In due time,” said the third, “we shall be home-sick once more for quiet water-lilies swaying on the surface of an English stream. But to-day all that seems pale and thin and very far away. Just now our blood dances to other music.”
“In due time,” said the third, “we’ll feel homesick again for quiet water lilies swaying on the surface of an English stream. But today, all of that feels faint and distant. Right now, our blood is dancing to a different tune.”
They fell a-twittering among themselves once more, and this time their intoxicating babble was of violet seas, tawny sands, and lizard-haunted walls.
They started chattering among themselves again, and this time their exciting conversation was about violet seas, golden sands, and walls filled with lizards.
Restlessly the Rat wandered off once more, climbed the slope that rose gently from the north bank of the river, and lay looking out towards the great ring of Downs that barred his vision further southwards—his simple horizon hitherto, his Mountains of the Moon, his limit behind which lay nothing he had cared to see or to know. To-day, to him gazing South with a new-born need stirring in his heart, the clear sky over their long low outline seemed to pulsate with promise; to-day, the unseen was everything, the unknown the only real fact of life. On this side of the hills was now the real blank, on the other lay the crowded and coloured panorama that his inner eye was seeing so clearly. What seas lay beyond, green, leaping, and crested! What sun-bathed coasts, along which the white villas glittered against the olive woods! What quiet harbours, thronged with gallant shipping bound for purple islands of wine and spice, islands set low in languorous waters!
Restlessly, the Rat wandered off again, climbed the gentle slope from the north bank of the river, and lay there looking out towards the great ring of Downs that blocked his view further south—his simple horizon until now, his Mountains of the Moon, the limit beyond which nothing had appealed to him. Today, as he gazed south with a new sense of yearning stirring in his heart, the clear sky over their long low outline seemed to vibrate with possibility; today, the unseen was everything, the unknown the only real part of life. This side of the hills was now the true emptiness, while on the other lay the vibrant and colorful panorama that his mind was picturing so vividly. What seas lay beyond, green, leaping, and frothy! What sunlit shores, where the white villas sparkled against the olive groves! What peaceful harbors, bustling with brave ships heading for the purple islands of wine and spice, islands set low in dreamy waters!
He rose and descended river-wards once more; then changed his mind and sought the side of the dusty lane. There, lying half-buried in the thick, cool under-hedge tangle that bordered it, he could muse on the metalled road and all the wondrous world that it led to; on all the wayfarers, too, that might have trodden it, and the fortunes and adventures they had gone to seek or found unseeking—out there, beyond—beyond!
He got up and headed down toward the river again; then he changed his mind and looked for the side of the dusty lane. There, lying partially hidden in the thick, cool underbrush that lined it, he could think about the paved road and all the amazing places it led to; about all the travelers too, who might have walked it, and the fortunes and adventures they went to find or stumbled upon—out there, beyond—beyond!
Footsteps fell on his ear, and the figure of one that walked somewhat wearily came into view; and he saw that it was a Rat, and a very dusty one. The wayfarer, as he reached him, saluted with a gesture of courtesy that had something foreign about it—hesitated a moment—then with a pleasant smile turned from the track and sat down by his side in the cool herbage. He seemed tired, and the Rat let him rest unquestioned, understanding something of what was in his thoughts; knowing, too, the value all animals attach at times to mere silent companionship, when the weary muscles slacken and the mind marks time.
Footsteps echoed in his ears, and a figure walked into view, looking somewhat tired; it was a Rat, covered in dust. As the traveler approached, he greeted him with a polite gesture that felt a bit foreign—hesitant for a moment—then smiled warmly, turning off the path to sit beside him in the cool grass. He appeared exhausted, and the Rat let him rest without asking questions, sensing something of what was on his mind; he also understood how much animals appreciate just having silent company when their muscles are weary and their thoughts slow down.
The wayfarer was lean and keen-featured, and somewhat bowed at the shoulders; his paws were thin and long, his eyes much wrinkled at the corners, and he wore small gold ear rings in his neatly-set well-shaped ears. His knitted jersey was of a faded blue, his breeches, patched and stained, were based on a blue foundation, and his small belongings that he carried were tied up in a blue cotton handkerchief.
The traveler was thin with sharp features and had slightly hunched shoulders; his hands were long and slender, and his eyes were deeply wrinkled at the corners. He wore small gold earrings in his neatly shaped ears. His knitted sweater was a faded blue, his pants were patched and stained but mostly blue, and his few belongings were wrapped up in a blue cotton handkerchief.
When he had rested awhile the stranger sighed, snuffed the air, and looked about him.
When he had rested for a bit, the stranger sighed, took a deep breath, and looked around.
“That was clover, that warm whiff on the breeze,” he remarked; “and those are cows we hear cropping the grass behind us and blowing softly between mouthfuls. There is a sound of distant reapers, and yonder rises a blue line of cottage smoke against the woodland. The river runs somewhere close by, for I hear the call of a moorhen, and I see by your build that you’re a freshwater mariner. Everything seems asleep, and yet going on all the time. It is a goodly life that you lead, friend; no doubt the best in the world, if only you are strong enough to lead it!”
“That’s the scent of clover, wafting on the breeze,” he said; “and those are cows we hear munching on the grass behind us, softly blowing between bites. I can hear distant reapers, and over there, I see a blue line of smoke rising from a cottage against the woods. The river must be nearby because I hear a moorhen calling, and I can tell by your build that you’re a freshwater sailor. Everything feels peaceful, yet it's all happening at once. You have a good life, my friend; it’s probably the best in the world, as long as you’re strong enough to live it!”
“Yes, it’s the life, the only life, to live,” responded the Water Rat dreamily, and without his usual whole-hearted conviction.
“Yes, it’s the life, the only life, to live,” replied the Water Rat dreamily, and without his usual full-hearted belief.
“I did not say exactly that,” replied the stranger cautiously; “but no doubt it’s the best. I’ve tried it, and I know. And because I’ve just tried it—six months of it—and know it’s the best, here am I, footsore and hungry, tramping away from it, tramping southward, following the old call, back to the old life, the life which is mine and which will not let me go.”
“I didn’t say that exactly,” replied the stranger carefully; “but it’s definitely the best. I’ve experienced it, and I know. And since I’ve just gone through it—six months of it—and know it’s the best, here I am, tired and hungry, walking away from it, heading south, following the old call, back to the old life, the life that’s mine and that won’t let me go.”
“Is this, then, yet another of them?” mused the Rat. “And where have you just come from?” he asked. He hardly dared to ask where he was bound for; he seemed to know the answer only too well.
“Is this, then, yet another one of them?” thought the Rat. “And where did you just come from?” he asked. He barely dared to ask where he was headed; he seemed to know the answer all too well.
“Nice little farm,” replied the wayfarer, briefly. “Upalong in that direction”—he nodded northwards. “Never mind about it. I had everything I could want—everything I had any right to expect of life, and more; and here I am! Glad to be here all the same, though, glad to be here! So many miles further on the road, so many hours nearer to my heart’s desire!”
“Nice little farm,” the traveler replied briefly. “Up that way”—he nodded north. “But don’t worry about it. I had everything I needed—everything I could expect from life, and more; and here I am! Happy to be here just the same, happy to be here! So many miles further on the road, so many hours closer to my heart’s desire!”
His shining eyes held fast to the horizon, and he seemed to be listening for some sound that was wanting from that inland acreage, vocal as it was with the cheerful music of pasturage and farmyard.
His sparkling eyes were fixed on the horizon, and he appeared to be listening for a sound that was missing from that countryside, lively as it was with the cheerful sounds of grazing and farm life.
“You are not one of us,” said the Water Rat, “nor yet a farmer; nor even, I should judge, of this country.”
“You're not one of us,” said the Water Rat, “and you're not a farmer either; I can tell you're not even from around here.”
“Right,” replied the stranger. “I’m a seafaring rat, I am, and the port I originally hail from is Constantinople, though I’m a sort of a foreigner there too, in a manner of speaking. You will have heard of Constantinople, friend? A fair city, and an ancient and glorious one. And you may have heard, too, of Sigurd, King of Norway, and how he sailed thither with sixty ships, and how he and his men rode up through streets all canopied in their honour with purple and gold; and how the Emperor and Empress came down and banqueted with him on board his ship. When Sigurd returned home, many of his Northmen remained behind and entered the Emperor’s body-guard, and my ancestor, a Norwegian born, stayed behind too, with the ships that Sigurd gave the Emperor. Seafarers we have ever been, and no wonder; as for me, the city of my birth is no more my home than any pleasant port between there and the London River. I know them all, and they know me. Set me down on any of their quays or foreshores, and I am home again.”
“Right,” replied the stranger. “I’m a seafaring rat, I am, and the port I originally come from is Constantinople, though I’m kind of a foreigner there too, in a way. You’ve heard of Constantinople, right, friend? It’s a beautiful city, and an ancient and glorious one. And you may have heard of Sigurd, King of Norway, and how he sailed there with sixty ships, and how he and his men rode through streets decorated in their honor with purple and gold; and how the Emperor and Empress came down and dined with him on board his ship. When Sigurd returned home, many of his Northmen stayed behind and joined the Emperor’s bodyguard, and my ancestor, a Norwegian, stayed behind too, with the ships that Sigurd gave to the Emperor. We’ve always been seafarers, and it’s no surprise; as for me, the city of my birth is no more my home than any nice port between there and the London River. I know them all, and they know me. Drop me off at any of their docks or shores, and I’m home again.”
“I suppose you go great voyages,” said the Water Rat with growing interest. “Months and months out of sight of land, and provisions running short, and allowanced as to water, and your mind communing with the mighty ocean, and all that sort of thing?”
“I guess you go on amazing journeys,” said the Water Rat with increasing interest. “Months and months without seeing land, with supplies running low, limited water, and your mind connecting with the vast ocean, and all that sort of stuff?”
“By no means,” said the Sea Rat frankly. “Such a life as you describe would not suit me at all. I’m in the coasting trade, and rarely out of sight of land. It’s the jolly times on shore that appeal to me, as much as any seafaring. O, those southern seaports! The smell of them, the riding-lights at night, the glamour!”
“Not at all,” said the Sea Rat honestly. “The kind of life you’re talking about wouldn’t be right for me. I’m in the coastal trade and hardly ever out of sight of land. It’s the fun times on shore that attract me, just as much as being on the sea. Oh, those southern ports! The scent of them, the lights at night, the excitement!”
“Well, perhaps you have chosen the better way,” said the Water Rat, but rather doubtfully. “Tell me something of your coasting, then, if you have a mind to, and what sort of harvest an animal of spirit might hope to bring home from it to warm his latter days with gallant memories by the fireside; for my life, I confess to you, feels to me to-day somewhat narrow and circumscribed.”
“Well, maybe you’ve picked the better option,” said the Water Rat, sounding a bit uncertain. “Share some of your experiences from your travels, if you feel like it, and what kind of rewards a spirited animal might expect to bring back to enjoy during the quiet days by the fire; because honestly, I have to admit that my life feels a bit limited and confined today.”
“My last voyage,” began the Sea Rat, “that landed me eventually in this country, bound with high hopes for my inland farm, will serve as a good example of any of them, and, indeed, as an epitome of my highly-coloured life. Family troubles, as usual, began it. The domestic storm-cone was hoisted, and I shipped myself on board a small trading vessel bound from Constantinople, by classic seas whose every wave throbs with a deathless memory, to the Grecian Islands and the Levant. Those were golden days and balmy nights! In and out of harbour all the time—old friends everywhere—sleeping in some cool temple or ruined cistern during the heat of the day—feasting and song after sundown, under great stars set in a velvet sky! Thence we turned and coasted up the Adriatic, its shores swimming in an atmosphere of amber, rose, and aquamarine; we lay in wide land-locked harbours, we roamed through ancient and noble cities, until at last one morning, as the sun rose royally behind us, we rode into Venice down a path of gold. O, Venice is a fine city, wherein a rat can wander at his ease and take his pleasure! Or, when weary of wandering, can sit at the edge of the Grand Canal at night, feasting with his friends, when the air is full of music and the sky full of stars, and the lights flash and shimmer on the polished steel prows of the swaying gondolas, packed so that you could walk across the canal on them from side to side! And then the food—do you like shellfish? Well, well, we won’t linger over that now.”
"My last voyage," started the Sea Rat, "that eventually brought me to this country, filled with big dreams for my inland farm, will serve as a great example of any of them, and indeed, as a summary of my colorful life. Family issues, as usual, kicked it off. The domestic troubles flared up, and I booked a spot on a small trading ship headed from Constantinople, through classic seas where every wave holds a timeless memory, to the Grecian Islands and the Levant. Those were golden days and lovely nights! We were constantly in and out of harbor—old friends everywhere—catching some sleep in a cool temple or ruined cistern during the heat of the day—enjoying feasts and songs after sunset, under the vast stars in a velvet sky! Then we veered and cruised up the Adriatic, its shores drenched in amber, rose, and aquamarine; we anchored in spacious, sheltered harbors, explored ancient and grand cities until one morning, as the sun rose majestically behind us, we glided into Venice along a golden path. Oh, Venice is a wonderful city where a rat can roam freely and enjoy himself! Or, when tired of wandering, can sit by the edge of the Grand Canal at night, dining with friends, while the air is filled with music and the sky is bursting with stars, and the lights flicker and dance on the sleek steel prows of the swaying gondolas, so packed that you could walk across the canal from side to side! And then the food—do you like shellfish? Well, well, we won’t get into that now."
He was silent for a time; and the Water Rat, silent too and enthralled, floated on dream-canals and heard a phantom song pealing high between vaporous grey wave-lapped walls.
He was quiet for a while, and the Water Rat, also silent and captivated, drifted on dreamy canals and listened to a ghostly song ringing out high between misty grey, wave-lapped walls.
“Southwards we sailed again at last,” continued the Sea Rat, “coasting down the Italian shore, till finally we made Palermo, and there I quitted for a long, happy spell on shore. I never stick too long to one ship; one gets narrow-minded and prejudiced. Besides, Sicily is one of my happy hunting-grounds. I know everybody there, and their ways just suit me. I spent many jolly weeks in the island, staying with friends up country. When I grew restless again I took advantage of a ship that was trading to Sardinia and Corsica; and very glad I was to feel the fresh breeze and the sea-spray in my face once more.”
“Finally, we sailed south again,” the Sea Rat continued, “cruising down the Italian coast until we reached Palermo, and there I took a long, happy break on land. I never stay on one ship for too long; it makes you narrow-minded and biased. Plus, Sicily is one of my favorite places to roam. I know everyone there, and their way of life suits me perfectly. I spent several fun weeks on the island, visiting friends in the countryside. When I started feeling restless again, I hopped on a ship that was heading to Sardinia and Corsica; I was so happy to feel the fresh breeze and the sea spray on my face once more.”
“But isn’t it very hot and stuffy, down in the—hold, I think you call it?” asked the Water Rat.
“But isn’t it really hot and stuffy down in the—what do you call it?” asked the Water Rat.
The seafarer looked at him with the suspicion of a wink. “I’m an old hand,” he remarked with much simplicity. “The captain’s cabin’s good enough for me.”
The seafarer eyed him with a knowing glance. “I’m experienced,” he said straightforwardly. “The captain’s cabin is just fine for me.”
“It’s a hard life, by all accounts,” murmured the Rat, sunk in deep thought.
“It’s a tough life, by all accounts,” murmured the Rat, deep in thought.
“For the crew it is,” replied the seafarer gravely, again with the ghost of a wink.
“For the crew it is,” the seafarer replied seriously, with a hint of a wink.
“From Corsica,” he went on, “I made use of a ship that was taking wine to the mainland. We made Alassio in the evening, lay to, hauled up our wine-casks, and hove them overboard, tied one to the other by a long line. Then the crew took to the boats and rowed shorewards, singing as they went, and drawing after them the long bobbing procession of casks, like a mile of porpoises. On the sands they had horses waiting, which dragged the casks up the steep street of the little town with a fine rush and clatter and scramble. When the last cask was in, we went and refreshed and rested, and sat late into the night, drinking with our friends, and next morning I took to the great olive-woods for a spell and a rest. For now I had done with islands for the time, and ports and shipping were plentiful; so I led a lazy life among the peasants, lying and watching them work, or stretched high on the hillside with the blue Mediterranean far below me. And so at length, by easy stages, and partly on foot, partly by sea, to Marseilles, and the meeting of old shipmates, and the visiting of great ocean-bound vessels, and feasting once more. Talk of shell-fish! Why, sometimes I dream of the shell-fish of Marseilles, and wake up crying!”
“From Corsica,” he continued, “I took a ship that was transporting wine to the mainland. We arrived in Alassio in the evening, anchored, loaded our wine barrels, and tossed them overboard, tying them together with a long line. Then the crew got into the boats and paddled toward shore, singing as they went, pulling along the long, bobbing line of barrels like a mile of porpoises. Waiting on the beach were horses that dragged the barrels up the steep street of the little town with a lively rush and clatter. Once the last barrel was in, we went to refresh ourselves and rested, staying up late into the night, drinking with our friends. The next morning, I headed into the great olive groves for a while to relax. I was done with islands for now, and there were plenty of ports and ships, so I led a slow life among the peasants, lying back and watching them work, or stretched out high on the hillside with the blue Mediterranean far below me. Eventually, in easy stages, partly on foot and partly by sea, I made my way to Marseilles, where I reunited with old shipmates, visited impressive ocean-bound vessels, and feasted once again. Speaking of shellfish! Sometimes I dream of the shellfish from Marseilles and wake up crying!”
“That reminds me,” said the polite Water Rat; “you happened to mention that you were hungry, and I ought to have spoken earlier. Of course, you will stop and take your midday meal with me? My hole is close by; it is some time past noon, and you are very welcome to whatever there is.”
"That reminds me," said the friendly Water Rat; "you mentioned you were hungry, and I should have said something sooner. Would you like to join me for lunch? My place is nearby; it's already past noon, and you're welcome to whatever I've got."
“Now I call that kind and brotherly of you,” said the Sea Rat. “I was indeed hungry when I sat down, and ever since I inadvertently happened to mention shell-fish, my pangs have been extreme. But couldn’t you fetch it along out here? I am none too fond of going under hatches, unless I’m obliged to; and then, while we eat, I could tell you more concerning my voyages and the pleasant life I lead—at least, it is very pleasant to me, and by your attention I judge it commends itself to you; whereas if we go indoors it is a hundred to one that I shall presently fall asleep.”
“Now that’s very kind and brotherly of you,” said the Sea Rat. “I was really hungry when I sat down, and ever since I accidentally mentioned shellfish, my hunger has been intense. But couldn’t you bring it out here? I’m not really fond of going below deck unless I have to; and while we eat, I could tell you more about my voyages and the enjoyable life I lead—at least, it’s very enjoyable to me, and from your interest, I can tell you appreciate it too; but if we go inside, there’s a good chance I’ll fall asleep soon after.”
“That is indeed an excellent suggestion,” said the Water Rat, and hurried off home. There he got out the luncheon-basket and packed a simple meal, in which, remembering the stranger’s origin and preferences, he took care to include a yard of long French bread, a sausage out of which the garlic sang, some cheese which lay down and cried, and a long-necked straw-covered flask wherein lay bottled sunshine shed and garnered on far Southern slopes. Thus laden, he returned with all speed, and blushed for pleasure at the old seaman’s commendations of his taste and judgment, as together they unpacked the basket and laid out the contents on the grass by the roadside.
"That's a really great idea," said the Water Rat, and he quickly went home. There, he took out the picnic basket and packed a simple meal. Keeping in mind the stranger’s background and preferences, he made sure to include a long piece of French bread, a sausage bursting with garlic flavor, some cheese that seemed to moan, and a tall, straw-covered bottle filled with sunshine collected from distant Southern hills. Loaded up, he hurried back and felt a warm blush of pleasure at the old sailor’s praise for his taste and judgment as they unpacked the basket and laid out the food on the grass by the roadside.
The Sea Rat, as soon as his hunger was somewhat assuaged, continued the history of his latest voyage, conducting his simple hearer from port to port of Spain, landing him at Lisbon, Oporto, and Bordeaux, introducing him to the pleasant harbours of Cornwall and Devon, and so up the Channel to that final quayside, where, landing after winds long contrary, storm-driven and weather-beaten, he had caught the first magical hints and heraldings of another Spring, and, fired by these, had sped on a long tramp inland, hungry for the experiment of life on some quiet farmstead, very far from the weary beating of any sea.
The Sea Rat, once he had satisfied his hunger a bit, went on to share his latest voyage with his simple listener, taking him from port to port in Spain, stopping at Lisbon, Oporto, and Bordeaux, showing him the lovely harbors of Cornwall and Devon, and then up the Channel to that final dock. After battling against tough winds and rough weather, he arrived, catching the first hints of the coming Spring. Inspired by this, he quickly set off on a long walk inland, eager for the experience of life on a peaceful farm, far away from the exhausting pull of the sea.
Spell-bound and quivering with excitement, the Water Rat followed the Adventurer league by league, over stormy bays, through crowded roadsteads, across harbour bars on a racing tide, up winding rivers that hid their busy little towns round a sudden turn; and left him with a regretful sigh planted at his dull inland farm, about which he desired to hear nothing.
Spellbound and filled with excitement, the Water Rat followed the Adventurer league by league, over rough bays, through busy roadsteads, across harbor bars on a fast tide, up twisting rivers that concealed their bustling little towns around a sudden bend; and left him with a regretful sigh stuck at his boring inland farm, which he wanted to hear nothing about.
By this time their meal was over, and the Seafarer, refreshed and strengthened, his voice more vibrant, his eye lit with a brightness that seemed caught from some far-away sea-beacon, filled his glass with the red and glowing vintage of the South, and, leaning towards the Water Rat, compelled his gaze and held him, body and soul, while he talked. Those eyes were of the changing foam-streaked grey-green of leaping Northern seas; in the glass shone a hot ruby that seemed the very heart of the South, beating for him who had courage to respond to its pulsation. The twin lights, the shifting grey and the steadfast red, mastered the Water Rat and held him bound, fascinated, powerless. The quiet world outside their rays receded far away and ceased to be. And the talk, the wonderful talk flowed on—or was it speech entirely, or did it pass at times into song—chanty of the sailors weighing the dripping anchor, sonorous hum of the shrouds in a tearing North-Easter, ballad of the fisherman hauling his nets at sundown against an apricot sky, chords of guitar and mandoline from gondola or caique? Did it change into the cry of the wind, plaintive at first, angrily shrill as it freshened, rising to a tearing whistle, sinking to a musical trickle of air from the leech of the bellying sail? All these sounds the spell-bound listener seemed to hear, and with them the hungry complaint of the gulls and the sea-mews, the soft thunder of the breaking wave, the cry of the protesting shingle. Back into speech again it passed, and with beating heart he was following the adventures of a dozen seaports, the fights, the escapes, the rallies, the comradeships, the gallant undertakings; or he searched islands for treasure, fished in still lagoons and dozed day-long on warm white sand. Of deep-sea fishings he heard tell, and mighty silver gatherings of the mile-long net; of sudden perils, noise of breakers on a moonless night, or the tall bows of the great liner taking shape overhead through the fog; of the merry home-coming, the headland rounded, the harbour lights opened out; the groups seen dimly on the quay, the cheery hail, the splash of the hawser; the trudge up the steep little street towards the comforting glow of red-curtained windows.
By this time, their meal was done, and the Seafarer, feeling refreshed and revitalized, with a more vibrant voice and eyes shining like a distant sea beacon, filled his glass with the rich red wine from the South. Leaning toward the Water Rat, he captivated his attention completely while he spoke. His eyes had the shifting grey-green hue of the lively Northern seas, while the wine glowed like a hot ruby, representing the very essence of the South, pulsing for anyone brave enough to feel its rhythm. The two lights, the ever-changing grey and the constant red, captivated the Water Rat, leaving him enchanted and powerless. The calm world outside their glow faded far away and vanished. And the conversation, the incredible conversation flowed on—or was it just talking, or did it sometimes turn into song—like sailors singing while weighing the dripping anchor, the resonant hum of the rigging in a fierce North-Easter, the ballad of a fisherman pulling his nets at sunset against an apricot sky, or guitar and mandolin chords from a gondola or canoe? Did it transform into the sound of the wind, starting softly, then becoming an angry shriek as it picked up speed, rising to a sharp whistle, then settling into a melodic breeze from the sail’s leech? The mesmerized listener seemed to catch all these sounds, along with the plaintive cries of gulls and sea-mews, the gentle roar of crashing waves, and the agitation of the pebbles. Then it flowed back into conversation, and with a racing heart, he followed the adventures of countless seaports—the battles, the narrow escapes, the reunions, the friendships, the daring endeavors; or he sought treasure on islands, fished in quiet lagoons, and napped all day on warm, white sand. He heard tales of deep-sea fishing and massive silver catches from a mile-long net; of sudden dangers, the sound of waves crashing on a moonless night, or the towering bow of a great ship emerging from the fog; of joyous returns, rounding the headland, and the harbor lights coming into view; of dimly-seen groups on the quay, cheerful greetings, the splash of the mooring line; and the trek up the steep little street toward the warm glow of red-curtained windows.
Lastly, in his waking dream it seemed to him that the Adventurer had risen to his feet, but was still speaking, still holding him fast with his sea-grey eyes.
Lastly, in his waking dream, it felt like the Adventurer had stood up but was still talking, still keeping him captivated with his sea-grey eyes.
“And now,” he was softly saying, “I take to the road again, holding on southwestwards for many a long and dusty day; till at last I reach the little grey sea town I know so well, that clings along one steep side of the harbour. There through dark doorways you look down flights of stone steps, overhung by great pink tufts of valerian and ending in a patch of sparkling blue water. The little boats that lie tethered to the rings and stanchions of the old sea-wall are gaily painted as those I clambered in and out of in my own childhood; the salmon leap on the flood tide, schools of mackerel flash and play past quay-sides and foreshores, and by the windows the great vessels glide, night and day, up to their moorings or forth to the open sea. There, sooner or later, the ships of all seafaring nations arrive; and there, at its destined hour, the ship of my choice will let go its anchor. I shall take my time, I shall tarry and bide, till at last the right one lies waiting for me, warped out into midstream, loaded low, her bowsprit pointing down harbour. I shall slip on board, by boat or along hawser; and then one morning I shall wake to the song and tramp of the sailors, the clink of the capstan, and the rattle of the anchor-chain coming merrily in. We shall break out the jib and the foresail, the white houses on the harbour side will glide slowly past us as she gathers steering-way, and the voyage will have begun! As she forges towards the headland she will clothe herself with canvas; and then, once outside, the sounding slap of great green seas as she heels to the wind, pointing South!
“And now,” he was softly saying, “I'm hitting the road again, heading southwest for many long and dusty days; until I finally reach the little gray seaside town I know so well, which clings along the steep side of the harbor. There, through dark doorways, you can look down flights of stone steps, with large pink tufts of valerian hanging overhead, leading to a patch of sparkling blue water. The little boats tied to the rings and stanchions of the old sea wall are painted just as brightly as the ones I used to climb in and out of during my childhood; the salmon leap with the flood tide, schools of mackerel flash and play past the quaysides and foreshores, and by the windows, the big ships glide, day and night, to their moorings or out to sea. Eventually, the ships from all seafaring nations arrive there; and when the time comes, the ship I choose will let go of its anchor. I’ll take my time, I’ll wait around until the right one is there, pulled out into midstream, loaded low, its bowsprit pointing down the harbor. I’ll board, either by boat or along the hawser; and then one morning, I’ll wake up to the sound of sailors singing and bustling about, the clink of the capstan, and the cheerful rattle of the anchor chain coming in. We’ll unfurl the jib and the foresail, the white houses on the harbor side will slowly pass us by as the ship picks up speed, and the voyage will begin! As she moves toward the headland, she’ll be all dressed in canvas; and then, once we’re outside, we’ll hear the sound of the big green waves slapping against her as she leans into the wind, heading South!”
“And you, you will come too, young brother; for the days pass, and never return, and the South still waits for you. Take the Adventure, heed the call, now ere the irrevocable moment passes! ’Tis but a banging of the door behind you, a blithesome step forward, and you are out of the old life and into the new! Then some day, some day long hence, jog home here if you will, when the cup has been drained and the play has been played, and sit down by your quiet river with a store of goodly memories for company. You can easily overtake me on the road, for you are young, and I am ageing and go softly. I will linger, and look back; and at last I will surely see you coming, eager and light-hearted, with all the South in your face!”
“And you, you’ll come too, little brother; because time goes by and doesn’t come back, and the South is still waiting for you. Embrace the Adventure, answer the call, before the moment slips away! It’s just a slam of the door behind you, a cheerful step forward, and you’re out of the old life and into the new! Then someday, someday much later, you can come back here if you want, when the cup is empty and the game is over, and sit by your peaceful river with a wealth of good memories for company. You can easily catch up to me on the road, because you’re young, and I’m getting older and moving slowly. I will pause and look back; and eventually, I will surely see you coming, excited and carefree, with all the South shining in your face!”
The voice died away and ceased as an insect’s tiny trumpet dwindles swiftly into silence; and the Water Rat, paralysed and staring, saw at last but a distant speck on the white surface of the road.
The voice faded and disappeared like an insect's small trumpet quickly going silent; and the Water Rat, frozen and staring, finally saw just a distant dot on the white surface of the road.
Mechanically he rose and proceeded to repack the luncheon-basket, carefully and without haste. Mechanically he returned home, gathered together a few small necessaries and special treasures he was fond of, and put them in a satchel; acting with slow deliberation, moving about the room like a sleep-walker; listening ever with parted lips. He swung the satchel over his shoulder, carefully selected a stout stick for his wayfaring, and with no haste, but with no hesitation at all, he stepped across the threshold just as the Mole appeared at the door.
He got up automatically and started to repack the lunch basket, being careful and not in a rush. He made his way home, grabbed a few small essentials and some favorite items, and put them in a bag. He moved around the room like he was in a daze, listening carefully with his lips slightly parted. He slung the bag over his shoulder, picked out a sturdy stick for his journey, and without any rush but also with complete confidence, he stepped out the door just as the Mole showed up at the entrance.
“Why, where are you off to, Ratty?” asked the Mole in great surprise, grasping him by the arm.
“Hey, where are you going, Ratty?” asked the Mole in great surprise, grabbing him by the arm.
“Going South, with the rest of them,” murmured the Rat in a dreamy monotone, never looking at him. “Seawards first and then on shipboard, and so to the shores that are calling me!”
“Going South, with the others,” murmured the Rat in a dreamy monotone, never looking at him. “Towards the sea first and then on a ship, and so to the shores that are calling me!”
He pressed resolutely forward, still without haste, but with dogged fixity of purpose; but the Mole, now thoroughly alarmed, placed himself in front of him, and looking into his eyes saw that they were glazed and set and turned a streaked and shifting grey—not his friend’s eyes, but the eyes of some other animal! Grappling with him strongly he dragged him inside, threw him down, and held him.
He moved firmly ahead, calm yet determined; but the Mole, now completely alarmed, stepped in front of him. Looking into his eyes, the Mole noticed they were glazed and cold, shifting to a streaky grey—not his friend’s eyes, but those of some other creature! Gripping him tightly, he pulled him inside, threw him down, and held him there.
The Rat struggled desperately for a few moments, and then his strength seemed suddenly to leave him, and he lay still and exhausted, with closed eyes, trembling. Presently the Mole assisted him to rise and placed him in a chair, where he sat collapsed and shrunken into himself, his body shaken by a violent shivering, passing in time into an hysterical fit of dry sobbing. Mole made the door fast, threw the satchel into a drawer and locked it, and sat down quietly on the table by his friend, waiting for the strange seizure to pass. Gradually the Rat sank into a troubled doze, broken by starts and confused murmurings of things strange and wild and foreign to the unenlightened Mole; and from that he passed into a deep slumber.
The Rat struggled for a few moments, and then he suddenly seemed to lose all his strength. He lay there, still and exhausted, eyes closed, trembling. Eventually, the Mole helped him up and set him in a chair, where he sat slumped and withdrawn, his body quaking with intense shivers that eventually turned into an hysterical fit of dry sobs. The Mole secured the door, threw the satchel into a drawer, locked it, and then quietly sat at the table next to his friend, waiting for the strange episode to pass. Gradually, the Rat slipped into a troubled doze, interrupted by starts and confused murmurs of things strange and wild, unfamiliar to the uncomprehending Mole; and from that, he fell into a deep sleep.
Very anxious in mind, the Mole left him for a time and busied himself with household matters; and it was getting dark when he returned to the parlour and found the Rat where he had left him, wide awake indeed, but listless, silent, and dejected. He took one hasty glance at his eyes; found them, to his great gratification, clear and dark and brown again as before; and then sat down and tried to cheer him up and help him to relate what had happened to him.
Very anxious, the Mole left him for a while and focused on household tasks. By the time he returned to the living room, it was getting dark, and he found the Rat where he had left him—wide awake but listless, silent, and downcast. He quickly glanced at the Rat’s eyes and was relieved to see they were clear and dark brown again, just like before. Then, he sat down and tried to cheer him up and encourage him to share what had happened.
Poor Ratty did his best, by degrees, to explain things; but how could he put into cold words what had mostly been suggestion? How recall, for another’s benefit, the haunting sea voices that had sung to him, how reproduce at second-hand the magic of the Seafarer’s hundred reminiscences? Even to himself, now the spell was broken and the glamour gone, he found it difficult to account for what had seemed, some hours ago, the inevitable and only thing. It is not surprising, then, that he failed to convey to the Mole any clear idea of what he had been through that day.
Poor Ratty tried his best to explain things little by little, but how could he put into simple words what had mostly been suggestions? How could he express, for someone else's benefit, the haunting sea voices that had sung to him, or recreate the magic of the Seafarer’s countless memories? Even to himself, now that the spell was broken and the enchantment gone, he found it hard to make sense of what had seemed, just hours ago, like the only natural thing. So, it's no wonder that he couldn’t give the Mole a clear idea of what he had experienced that day.
To the Mole this much was plain: the fit, or attack, had passed away, and had left him sane again, though shaken and cast down by the reaction. But he seemed to have lost all interest for the time in the things that went to make up his daily life, as well as in all pleasant forecastings of the altered days and doings that the changing season was surely bringing.
To the Mole, it was clear that the episode had passed, and he was sane again, though still shaken and down from the aftermath. However, he appeared to have lost all interest for the moment in the things that comprised his daily life, as well as in any joyful expectations of the changed days and activities that the shifting season was definitely bringing.
Casually, then, and with seeming indifference, the Mole turned his talk to the harvest that was being gathered in, the towering wagons and their straining teams, the growing ricks, and the large moon rising over bare acres dotted with sheaves. He talked of the reddening apples around, of the browning nuts, of jams and preserves and the distilling of cordials; till by easy stages such as these he reached midwinter, its hearty joys and its snug home life, and then he became simply lyrical.
Casually, and with an air of indifference, the Mole shifted the conversation to the harvest that was being collected, the huge wagons and their hardworking teams, the growing stacks of hay, and the big moon rising over open fields scattered with sheaves. He talked about the reddening apples nearby, the browning nuts, the jams and preserves, and the making of cordials; until gradually, he moved through to midwinter, celebrating its warm joys and cozy home life, and then he became truly poetic.
By degrees the Rat began to sit up and to join in. His dull eye brightened, and he lost some of his listening air.
By degrees, the Rat started to sit up and join in. His dull eye lit up, and he lost some of his passive vibe.
Presently the tactful Mole slipped away and returned with a pencil and a few half-sheets of paper, which he placed on the table at his friend’s elbow.
Currently, the discreet Mole quietly left and came back with a pencil and a few half-sheets of paper, which he set down on the table beside his friend.
“It’s quite a long time since you did any poetry,” he remarked. “You might have a try at it this evening, instead of—well, brooding over things so much. I’ve an idea that you’ll feel a lot better when you’ve got something jotted down—if it’s only just the rhymes.”
“It’s been a while since you wrote any poetry,” he said. “You should give it a go this evening, instead of—well, dwelling on things so much. I have a feeling you’ll feel much better once you’ve written something down—even if it’s just the rhymes.”
The Rat pushed the paper away from him wearily, but the discreet Mole took occasion to leave the room, and when he peeped in again some time later, the Rat was absorbed and deaf to the world; alternately scribbling and sucking the top of his pencil. It is true that he sucked a good deal more than he scribbled; but it was joy to the Mole to know that the cure had at least begun.
The Rat pushed the paper away from him tiredly, but the quiet Mole saw his chance to leave the room. When he peeked in again a little while later, the Rat was totally absorbed in his work, oblivious to everything around him, alternating between scribbling and sucking the end of his pencil. It’s true he spent way more time sucking than he did writing, but it made the Mole happy to know that the healing process had at least started.
X.
THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF TOAD
The front door of the hollow tree faced eastwards, so Toad was called at an early hour; partly by the bright sunlight streaming in on him, partly by the exceeding coldness of his toes, which made him dream that he was at home in bed in his own handsome room with the Tudor window, on a cold winter’s night, and his bedclothes had got up, grumbling and protesting they couldn’t stand the cold any longer, and had run downstairs to the kitchen fire to warm themselves; and he had followed, on bare feet, along miles and miles of icy stone-paved passages, arguing and beseeching them to be reasonable. He would probably have been aroused much earlier, had he not slept for some weeks on straw over stone flags, and almost forgotten the friendly feeling of thick blankets pulled well up round the chin.
The front door of the hollow tree faced east, so Toad was woken up early; partly by the bright sunlight pouring in on him, and partly by the freezing cold in his toes, which made him imagine that he was at home in bed in his nice room with the Tudor window, on a cold winter night. He pictured his bedclothes getting up, grumbling that they couldn’t handle the cold anymore, and running downstairs to the kitchen fire to warm up; and he had followed them, barefoot, along endless icy stone-paved corridors, arguing and pleading with them to be reasonable. He probably would have been woken up much earlier if he hadn’t spent the last few weeks sleeping on straw over stone floors, almost forgetting the comforting feeling of thick blankets pulled up snugly around his chin.
Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes first and his complaining toes next, wondered for a moment where he was, looking round for familiar stone wall and little barred window; then, with a leap of the heart, remembered everything—his escape, his flight, his pursuit; remembered, first and best thing of all, that he was free!
Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes first and then his sore toes, briefly wondering where he was while looking around for a familiar stone wall and a small barred window. Then, feeling a rush of excitement, he remembered everything—his escape, his flight, his pursuit; most importantly, he remembered that he was free!
Free! The word and the thought alone were worth fifty blankets. He was warm from end to end as he thought of the jolly world outside, waiting eagerly for him to make his triumphal entrance, ready to serve him and play up to him, anxious to help him and to keep him company, as it always had been in days of old before misfortune fell upon him. He shook himself and combed the dry leaves out of his hair with his fingers; and, his toilet complete, marched forth into the comfortable morning sun, cold but confident, hungry but hopeful, all nervous terrors of yesterday dispelled by rest and sleep and frank and heartening sunshine.
Free! Just the word and the thought of it felt like fifty blankets. He felt warm all over as he imagined the cheerful world outside, eagerly waiting for him to make his grand entrance, ready to support him and play along, excited to keep him company, just like it always had in the good old days before bad times hit. He shook himself and brushed the dry leaves out of his hair with his fingers; and, feeling all set, he strode out into the comfortable morning sun, cold but confident, hungry but hopeful, all the anxious fears from yesterday washed away by rest, sleep, and the bright, uplifting sunshine.
He had the world all to himself, that early summer morning. The dewy woodland, as he threaded it, was solitary and still: the green fields that succeeded the trees were his own to do as he liked with; the road itself, when he reached it, in that loneliness that was everywhere, seemed, like a stray dog, to be looking anxiously for company. Toad, however, was looking for something that could talk, and tell him clearly which way he ought to go. It is all very well, when you have a light heart, and a clear conscience, and money in your pocket, and nobody scouring the country for you to drag you off to prison again, to follow where the road beckons and points, not caring whither. The practical Toad cared very much indeed, and he could have kicked the road for its helpless silence when every minute was of importance to him.
He had the whole world to himself that early summer morning. The dewy woodland he walked through was quiet and peaceful: the green fields beyond the trees were his to do whatever he wanted with; the road itself, when he got to it, seemed to be anxiously looking for company, like a stray dog, in that solitude that surrounded him. Toad, however, was searching for something that could talk and clearly tell him which way to go. It’s easy to follow where the road leads when you have a light heart, a clear conscience, some cash in your pocket, and no one chasing you down to drag you back to prison. But practical Toad cared a lot about this, and he felt like kicking the road for its frustrating silence when every moment was crucial for him.
The reserved rustic road was presently joined by a shy little brother in the shape of a canal, which took its hand and ambled along by its side in perfect confidence, but with the same tongue-tied, uncommunicative attitude towards strangers. “Bother them!” said Toad to himself. “But, anyhow, one thing’s clear. They must both be coming from somewhere, and going to somewhere. You can’t get over that. Toad, my boy!” So he marched on patiently by the water’s edge.
The quiet country road was now accompanied by a shy little brother in the form of a canal, which took its hand and strolled alongside with complete confidence, but with the same silent, uncommunicative demeanor towards strangers. “Bother them!” Toad thought to himself. “But, anyway, one thing’s for sure. They must both be coming from somewhere and going to somewhere. You can’t get around that. Toad, my boy!” So he continued on patiently by the water’s edge.
Round a bend in the canal came plodding a solitary horse, stooping forward as if in anxious thought. From rope traces attached to his collar stretched a long line, taut, but dipping with his stride, the further part of it dripping pearly drops. Toad let the horse pass, and stood waiting for what the fates were sending him.
Around a bend in the canal came a lone horse, moving slowly as if deep in thought. A long line attached to his collar stretched tight but dipped with each step, the end of it dripping with pearly drops. Toad let the horse go by and stood there, waiting for whatever fate had in store for him.
With a pleasant swirl of quiet water at its blunt bow the barge slid up alongside of him, its gaily painted gunwale level with the towing-path, its sole occupant a big stout woman wearing a linen sun-bonnet, one brawny arm laid along the tiller.
With a soft swirl of calm water at its blunt front, the barge glided up next to him, its brightly painted edge even with the towing path, its only passenger a large, sturdy woman wearing a linen sun bonnet, one strong arm resting on the tiller.
“A nice morning, ma’am!” she remarked to Toad, as she drew up level with him.
“A beautiful morning, ma’am!” she said to Toad as she pulled up next to him.
“I dare say it is, ma’am!” responded Toad politely, as he walked along the tow-path abreast of her. “I dare it is a nice morning to them that’s not in sore trouble, like what I am. Here’s my married daughter, she sends off to me post-haste to come to her at once; so off I comes, not knowing what may be happening or going to happen, but fearing the worst, as you will understand, ma’am, if you’re a mother, too. And I’ve left my business to look after itself—I’m in the washing and laundering line, you must know, ma’am—and I’ve left my young children to look after themselves, and a more mischievous and troublesome set of young imps doesn’t exist, ma’am; and I’ve lost all my money, and lost my way, and as for what may be happening to my married daughter, why, I don’t like to think of it, ma’am!”
“I have to say it is, ma’am!” replied Toad politely as he walked alongside her. “It really is a nice morning for those who aren’t in serious trouble, like I am. My married daughter sent for me urgently to come to her right away; so here I am, not knowing what’s going on or what might happen next, but fearing the worst, as you would understand, ma’am, if you’re a mother too. I’ve left my business to fend for itself—I’m in the laundry business, you should know, ma’am—and I’ve left my young kids to manage on their own, and there isn’t a more mischievous and troublesome bunch of kids out there, ma’am; I’ve lost all my money, lost my way, and as for what might be happening to my married daughter, well, I don’t even want to think about it, ma’am!”
“Where might your married daughter be living, ma’am?” asked the barge-woman.
“Where could your married daughter be living, ma’am?” asked the barge-woman.
“She lives near to the river, ma’am,” replied Toad. “Close to a fine house called Toad Hall, that’s somewheres hereabouts in these parts. Perhaps you may have heard of it.”
“She lives by the river, ma’am,” replied Toad. “Close to a nice house called Toad Hall, which is somewhere around here. Maybe you’ve heard of it.”
“Toad Hall? Why, I’m going that way myself,” replied the barge-woman. “This canal joins the river some miles further on, a little above Toad Hall; and then it’s an easy walk. You come along in the barge with me, and I’ll give you a lift.”
“Toad Hall? Oh, I’m headed that way too,” said the barge-woman. “This canal connects to the river a few miles ahead, just above Toad Hall; then it’s an easy walk. Hop on the barge with me, and I’ll give you a ride.”
She steered the barge close to the bank, and Toad, with many humble and grateful acknowledgments, stepped lightly on board and sat down with great satisfaction. “Toad’s luck again!” thought he. “I always come out on top!”
She guided the barge close to the shore, and Toad, with many humble and grateful thanks, stepped lightly on board and sat down feeling very satisfied. “Toad’s luck strikes again!” he thought. “I always come out on top!”
“So you’re in the washing business, ma’am?” said the barge-woman politely, as they glided along. “And a very good business you’ve got too, I dare say, if I’m not making too free in saying so.”
“So you’re in the laundry business, ma’am?” the barge-woman said politely as they floated along. “And you’ve got a really good business too, I’d say, if I’m not being too forward in saying that.”
“Finest business in the whole country,” said Toad airily. “All the gentry come to me—wouldn’t go to any one else if they were paid, they know me so well. You see, I understand my work thoroughly, and attend to it all myself. Washing, ironing, clear-starching, making up gents’ fine shirts for evening wear—everything’s done under my own eye!”
“Best business in the whole country,” Toad said casually. “All the wealthy folks come to me—wouldn't go to anyone else even if they were paid, they know me so well. You see, I really understand my work, and I handle it all myself. Washing, ironing, starching, making fancy shirts for evening wear—everything's done under my watch!”
“But surely you don’t do all that work yourself, ma’am?” asked the barge-woman respectfully.
“But surely you don’t do all that work yourself, ma’am?” the barge-woman asked respectfully.
“O, I have girls,” said Toad lightly: “twenty girls or thereabouts, always at work. But you know what girls are, ma’am! Nasty little hussies, that’s what I call ’em!”
“O, I have girls,” said Toad lightly, “around twenty girls, always busy. But you know how girls are, ma’am! Nasty little hussies, that’s what I call ’em!”
“So do I, too,” said the barge-woman with great heartiness. “But I dare say you set yours to rights, the idle trollops! And are you very fond of washing?”
“So do I, too,” said the barge-woman with much enthusiasm. “But I bet you clean up after those lazy good-for-nothings! And are you really into washing?”
“I love it,” said Toad. “I simply dote on it. Never so happy as when I’ve got both arms in the wash-tub. But, then, it comes so easy to me! No trouble at all! A real pleasure, I assure you, ma’am!”
“I love it,” said Toad. “I absolutely adore it. I'm never happier than when I have both arms in the wash tub. But, you see, it comes so easily to me! No trouble at all! A true pleasure, I promise you, ma’am!”
“What a bit of luck, meeting you!” observed the barge-woman, thoughtfully. “A regular piece of good fortune for both of us!”
“What a lucky chance to run into you!” said the barge-woman, thoughtfully. “A real stroke of good fortune for both of us!”
“Why, what do you mean?” asked Toad, nervously.
“Why, what do you mean?” Toad asked, feeling anxious.
“Well, look at me, now,” replied the barge-woman. “I like washing, too, just the same as you do; and for that matter, whether I like it or not I have got to do all my own, naturally, moving about as I do. Now my husband, he’s such a fellow for shirking his work and leaving the barge to me, that never a moment do I get for seeing to my own affairs. By rights he ought to be here now, either steering or attending to the horse, though luckily the horse has sense enough to attend to himself. Instead of which, he’s gone off with the dog, to see if they can’t pick up a rabbit for dinner somewhere. Says he’ll catch me up at the next lock. Well, that’s as may be—I don’t trust him, once he gets off with that dog, who’s worse than he is. But meantime, how am I to get on with my washing?”
“Well, look at me now,” replied the barge-woman. “I like washing, just like you do; and whether I like it or not, I have to do all my own since I’m always moving around. My husband? He’s always avoiding his responsibilities and leaving the barge to me, so I never get a chance to take care of my own stuff. He should be here now, either steering the boat or taking care of the horse, although luckily the horse knows how to take care of itself. Instead, he’s off with the dog, trying to find a rabbit for dinner somewhere. He says he’ll catch up with me at the next lock. Well, that might be true—I don’t trust him once he’s off with that dog, who’s worse than he is. But in the meantime, how am I supposed to get on with my washing?”
“O, never mind about the washing,” said Toad, not liking the subject. “Try and fix your mind on that rabbit. A nice fat young rabbit, I’ll be bound. Got any onions?”
“O, don’t worry about the washing,” said Toad, not wanting to discuss it. “Focus on that rabbit. A nice, plump young rabbit, I bet. Got any onions?”
“I can’t fix my mind on anything but my washing,” said the barge-woman, “and I wonder you can be talking of rabbits, with such a joyful prospect before you. There’s a heap of things of mine that you’ll find in a corner of the cabin. If you’ll just take one or two of the most necessary sort—I won’t venture to describe them to a lady like you, but you’ll recognise them at a glance—and put them through the wash-tub as we go along, why, it’ll be a pleasure to you, as you rightly say, and a real help to me. You’ll find a tub handy, and soap, and a kettle on the stove, and a bucket to haul up water from the canal with. Then I shall know you’re enjoying yourself, instead of sitting here idle, looking at the scenery and yawning your head off.”
“I can’t focus on anything but my laundry,” said the barge-woman, “and I’m surprised you can talk about rabbits with such a great opportunity ahead of you. There are a bunch of my things you’ll find in a corner of the cabin. If you could just take one or two of the most essential items—I won’t describe them to a lady like you, but you’ll recognize them right away—and wash them as we go along, it’ll be a pleasure for you, just like you said, and a real help for me. You’ll find a tub nearby, along with soap, a kettle on the stove, and a bucket to pull up water from the canal. Then I’ll know you’re having fun instead of just sitting here idly, staring at the scenery and yawning your head off.”
“Here, you let me steer!” said Toad, now thoroughly frightened, “and then you can get on with your washing your own way. I might spoil your things, or not do ’em as you like. I’m more used to gentlemen’s things myself. It’s my special line.”
“Here, you let me take control!” said Toad, now really scared, “and then you can do your washing however you want. I might mess up your stuff, or not do it the way you like. I’m more familiar with high-class things myself. It’s my expertise.”
“Let you steer?” replied the barge-woman, laughing. “It takes some practice to steer a barge properly. Besides, it’s dull work, and I want you to be happy. No, you shall do the washing you are so fond of, and I’ll stick to the steering that I understand. Don’t try and deprive me of the pleasure of giving you a treat!”
“Let you steer?” replied the barge-woman, laughing. “It takes some practice to steer a barge properly. Besides, it’s boring work, and I want you to be happy. No, you can do the washing you enjoy so much, and I’ll handle the steering that I know how to do. Don’t try to take away the fun of giving you a treat!”
Toad was fairly cornered. He looked for escape this way and that, saw that he was too far from the bank for a flying leap, and sullenly resigned himself to his fate. “If it comes to that,” he thought in desperation, “I suppose any fool can wash!”
Toad felt pretty trapped. He searched for a way out in every direction, realized he was too far from the bank to jump, and reluctantly accepted his situation. “If it’s come to this,” he thought in desperation, “I guess any fool can wash!”
He fetched tub, soap, and other necessaries from the cabin, selected a few garments at random, tried to recollect what he had seen in casual glances through laundry windows, and set to.
He grabbed a tub, soap, and other essentials from the cabin, picked out a few random clothes, tried to remember what he had seen during quick looks through laundry windows, and got to work.
A long half-hour passed, and every minute of it saw Toad getting crosser and crosser. Nothing that he could do to the things seemed to please them or do them good. He tried coaxing, he tried slapping, he tried punching; they smiled back at him out of the tub unconverted, happy in their original sin. Once or twice he looked nervously over his shoulder at the barge-woman, but she appeared to be gazing out in front of her, absorbed in her steering. His back ached badly, and he noticed with dismay that his paws were beginning to get all crinkly. Now Toad was very proud of his paws. He muttered under his breath words that should never pass the lips of either washerwomen or Toads; and lost the soap, for the fiftieth time.
A long half-hour went by, and with each passing minute, Toad got angrier and angrier. Nothing he did to the objects seemed to satisfy them or help at all. He tried sweet-talking, he tried slapping, he tried punching; they just smiled back at him from the tub, unaffected, content in their original flaws. Once or twice, he nervously glanced over at the barge-woman, but she seemed to be gazing ahead, focused on steering. His back hurt badly, and he noticed with dismay that his hands were starting to get all wrinkly. Toad was very proud of his hands. He muttered under his breath things that should never be spoken by either washerwomen or Toads and lost the soap for the fiftieth time.
A burst of laughter made him straighten himself and look round. The barge-woman was leaning back and laughing unrestrainedly, till the tears ran down her cheeks.
A burst of laughter made him straighten up and look around. The barge-woman was leaning back and laughing freely, until tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I’ve been watching you all the time,” she gasped. “I thought you must be a humbug all along, from the conceited way you talked. Pretty washerwoman you are! Never washed so much as a dish-clout in your life, I’ll lay!”
“I’ve been watching you the whole time,” she said, breathless. “I always thought you were a fraud because of how arrogant you sounded. You call yourself a washerwoman? I bet you’ve never even washed a dishcloth in your life!”
Toad’s temper which had been simmering viciously for some time, now fairly boiled over, and he lost all control of himself.
Toad's anger, which had been bubbling up intensely for a while, now completely erupted, and he lost all control.
“You common, low, fat barge-woman!” he shouted; “don’t you dare to talk to your betters like that! Washerwoman indeed! I would have you to know that I am a Toad, a very well-known, respected, distinguished Toad! I may be under a bit of a cloud at present, but I will not be laughed at by a bargewoman!”
“You common, low, fat barge-woman!” he shouted; “don’t you dare speak to your betters like that! Washerwoman, really! I want you to know that I am a Toad, a very well-known, respected, distinguished Toad! I may be going through a rough patch right now, but I will not be mocked by a bargewoman!”
The woman moved nearer to him and peered under his bonnet keenly and closely. “Why, so you are!” she cried. “Well, I never! A horrid, nasty, crawly Toad! And in my nice clean barge, too! Now that is a thing that I will not have.”
The woman stepped closer to him and looked under his hood intently. “Wow, it really is you!” she exclaimed. “I can't believe it! A horrible, creepy, crawly toad! And in my nice, clean boat too! That is something I will not tolerate.”
She relinquished the tiller for a moment. One big mottled arm shot out and caught Toad by a fore-leg, while the other-gripped him fast by a hind-leg. Then the world turned suddenly upside down, the barge seemed to flit lightly across the sky, the wind whistled in his ears, and Toad found himself flying through the air, revolving rapidly as he went.
She let go of the tiller for a moment. One big, spotted arm reached out and grabbed Toad by one front leg, while the other held him tightly by a back leg. Then the world flipped upside down; the barge felt like it was floating lightly through the sky, the wind whistled in his ears, and Toad found himself soaring through the air, spinning quickly as he went.
The water, when he eventually reached it with a loud splash, proved quite cold enough for his taste, though its chill was not sufficient to quell his proud spirit, or slake the heat of his furious temper. He rose to the surface spluttering, and when he had wiped the duck-weed out of his eyes the first thing he saw was the fat barge-woman looking back at him over the stern of the retreating barge and laughing; and he vowed, as he coughed and choked, to be even with her.
The water, when he finally hit it with a big splash, was definitely cold enough for his liking, but its chill didn’t manage to dampen his proud spirit or cool down his angry temper. He surfaced, sputtering, and once he cleared the duckweed from his eyes, the first thing he saw was the hefty barge-woman laughing at him from the back of the moving barge. He promised himself, while coughing and choking, that he would get back at her.
He struck out for the shore, but the cotton gown greatly impeded his efforts, and when at length he touched land he found it hard to climb up the steep bank unassisted. He had to take a minute or two’s rest to recover his breath; then, gathering his wet skirts well over his arms, he started to run after the barge as fast as his legs would carry him, wild with indignation, thirsting for revenge.
He headed towards the shore, but the cotton gown really slowed him down, and when he finally reached land, he struggled to climb up the steep bank without help. He needed a minute or two to catch his breath; then, lifting his wet skirts high over his arms, he took off running after the barge as fast as he could, filled with anger and wanting revenge.
The barge-woman was still laughing when he drew up level with her. “Put yourself through your mangle, washerwoman,” she called out, “and iron your face and crimp it, and you’ll pass for quite a decent-looking Toad!”
The barge-woman was still laughing when he caught up to her. “Run yourself through your mangle, washerwoman,” she shouted, “and iron your face and crimp it, and you’ll look like a pretty decent-looking Toad!”
Toad never paused to reply. Solid revenge was what he wanted, not cheap, windy, verbal triumphs, though he had a thing or two in his mind that he would have liked to say. He saw what he wanted ahead of him. Running swiftly on he overtook the horse, unfastened the towrope and cast off, jumped lightly on the horse’s back, and urged it to a gallop by kicking it vigorously in the sides. He steered for the open country, abandoning the tow-path, and swinging his steed down a rutty lane. Once he looked back, and saw that the barge had run aground on the other side of the canal, and the barge-woman was gesticulating wildly and shouting, “Stop, stop, stop!” “I’ve heard that song before,” said Toad, laughing, as he continued to spur his steed onward in its wild career.
Toad didn’t stop to respond. What he wanted was genuine revenge, not some petty, empty victory. Although he had a few choice words in mind, he focused on his goal ahead. He ran fast, caught up to the horse, unfastened the towrope, jumped onto the horse’s back, and urged it into a gallop by kicking it hard in the sides. He aimed for the open countryside, leaving the tow-path and taking his horse down a bumpy lane. Once, he looked back and saw that the barge had gotten stuck on the other side of the canal, and the barge-woman was waving her arms and yelling, “Stop, stop, stop!” “I’ve heard that song before,” Toad laughed as he kept spurring his horse on in its reckless gallop.
The barge-horse was not capable of any very sustained effort, and its gallop soon subsided into a trot, and its trot into an easy walk; but Toad was quite contented with this, knowing that he, at any rate, was moving, and the barge was not. He had quite recovered his temper, now that he had done something he thought really clever; and he was satisfied to jog along quietly in the sun, steering his horse along by-ways and bridle-paths, and trying to forget how very long it was since he had had a square meal, till the canal had been left very far behind him.
The barge horse couldn't keep up a strong pace for long, and its gallop quickly turned into a trot, then an easy walk; but Toad was fine with this, knowing that he was, at least, moving while the barge stayed put. He had regained his good mood now that he’d done something he thought was clever, and he was happy to casually ride along in the sun, guiding his horse through back roads and paths, trying to forget how long it had been since he’d had a proper meal, until the canal was far behind him.
He had travelled some miles, his horse and he, and he was feeling drowsy in the hot sunshine, when the horse stopped, lowered his head, and began to nibble the grass; and Toad, waking up, just saved himself from falling off by an effort. He looked about him and found he was on a wide common, dotted with patches of gorse and bramble as far as he could see. Near him stood a dingy gipsy caravan, and beside it a man was sitting on a bucket turned upside down, very busy smoking and staring into the wide world. A fire of sticks was burning near by, and over the fire hung an iron pot, and out of that pot came forth bubblings and gurglings, and a vague suggestive steaminess. Also smells—warm, rich, and varied smells—that twined and twisted and wreathed themselves at last into one complete, voluptuous, perfect smell that seemed like the very soul of Nature taking form and appearing to her children, a true Goddess, a mother of solace and comfort. Toad now knew well that he had not been really hungry before. What he had felt earlier in the day had been a mere trifling qualm. This was the real thing at last, and no mistake; and it would have to be dealt with speedily, too, or there would be trouble for somebody or something. He looked the gipsy over carefully, wondering vaguely whether it would be easier to fight him or cajole him. So there he sat, and sniffed and sniffed, and looked at the gipsy; and the gipsy sat and smoked, and looked at him.
He had traveled quite a distance, he and his horse, and was starting to feel drowsy in the hot sun when the horse stopped, lowered its head, and started to nibble the grass. Toad, waking up, barely managed to keep from falling off with a quick effort. He looked around and saw he was in a large open area, spotted with patches of gorse and bramble as far as he could see. Nearby stood a shabby gypsy caravan, and next to it, a man was sitting on an upside-down bucket, intently smoking and staring out at the world. A fire of sticks was burning nearby, and over the fire hung an iron pot, from which came bubbling and gurgling sounds, along with a suggestive vapor. There were also warm, rich, and varied smells that twisted and intertwined until they formed one complete, lush, perfect aroma that felt like the very essence of Nature taking shape and presenting itself to her children, a true Goddess, a mother of comfort and solace. Toad now realized that he hadn’t really been hungry before. What he had felt earlier in the day was just a minor upset. This was the real deal at last, no doubt about it; and it needed to be addressed quickly, or someone or something was going to be in trouble. He examined the gypsy closely, wondering if it would be easier to fight him or sweet-talk him. So there he sat, sniffing and sniffing, while looking at the gypsy, and the gypsy sat and smoked, looking back at him.
Presently the gipsy took his pipe out of his mouth and remarked in a careless way, “Want to sell that there horse of yours?”
Currently, the gypsy took his pipe out of his mouth and casually asked, “You want to sell that horse of yours?”
Toad was completely taken aback. He did not know that gipsies were very fond of horse-dealing, and never missed an opportunity, and he had not reflected that caravans were always on the move and took a deal of drawing. It had not occurred to him to turn the horse into cash, but the gipsy’s suggestion seemed to smooth the way towards the two things he wanted so badly—ready money, and a solid breakfast.
Toad was totally shocked. He didn't realize that gypsies loved trading horses and never missed a chance to do so, and he hadn't considered that caravans were always traveling and needed to be pulled. It hadn’t crossed his mind to sell the horse for cash, but the gypsy’s suggestion seemed to make it easier for him to get the two things he desperately wanted—some quick cash and a hearty breakfast.
“What?” he said, “me sell this beautiful young horse of mine? O, no; it’s out of the question. Who’s going to take the washing home to my customers every week? Besides, I’m too fond of him, and he simply dotes on me.”
“What?” he said, “me selling this beautiful young horse of mine? Oh, no; that’s not happening. Who’s going to take the laundry home to my customers every week? Plus, I’m too attached to him, and he really loves me.”
“Try and love a donkey,” suggested the gipsy. “Some people do.”
“Try loving a donkey,” suggested the gypsy. “Some people do.”
“You don’t seem to see,” continued Toad, “that this fine horse of mine is a cut above you altogether. He’s a blood horse, he is, partly; not the part you see, of course—another part. And he’s been a Prize Hackney, too, in his time—that was the time before you knew him, but you can still tell it on him at a glance, if you understand anything about horses. No, it’s not to be thought of for a moment. All the same, how much might you be disposed to offer me for this beautiful young horse of mine?”
“You don’t seem to get it,” Toad continued, “but this amazing horse of mine is way better than you. He’s partly a thoroughbred; not the part you see, obviously—another part. And he was a Prize Hackney in his day—that was before you knew him, but you can still see it in an instant if you know anything about horses. No, it’s not even worth considering for a second. Still, how much would you be willing to offer me for this beautiful young horse of mine?”
The gipsy looked the horse over, and then he looked Toad over with equal care, and looked at the horse again. “Shillin’ a leg,” he said briefly, and turned away, continuing to smoke and try to stare the wide world out of countenance.
The gypsy inspected the horse, then examined Toad just as carefully, and looked back at the horse. “Shilling for a leg,” he said curtly, then walked away, continuing to smoke and trying to stare down the vast world around him.
“A shilling a leg?” cried Toad. “If you please, I must take a little time to work that out, and see just what it comes to.”
“A shilling a leg?” cried Toad. “If you don't mind, I need a moment to figure that out and see what it adds up to.”
He climbed down off his horse, and left it to graze, and sat down by the gipsy, and did sums on his fingers, and at last he said, “A shilling a leg? Why, that comes to exactly four shillings, and no more. O, no; I could not think of accepting four shillings for this beautiful young horse of mine.”
He got off his horse, let it graze, and sat down next to the gypsy. He did some calculations on his fingers, and finally said, “A shilling a leg? That adds up to exactly four shillings, and not a penny more. Oh, no; I couldn't possibly accept four shillings for this beautiful young horse of mine.”
“Well,” said the gipsy, “I’ll tell you what I will do. I’ll make it five shillings, and that’s three-and-sixpence more than the animal’s worth. And that’s my last word.”
“Well,” said the gypsy, “I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll make it five shillings, and that’s three-and-sixpence more than the animal’s worth. And that’s my final offer.”
Then Toad sat and pondered long and deeply. For he was hungry and quite penniless, and still some way—he knew not how far—from home, and enemies might still be looking for him. To one in such a situation, five shillings may very well appear a large sum of money. On the other hand, it did not seem very much to get for a horse. But then, again, the horse hadn’t cost him anything; so whatever he got was all clear profit. At last he said firmly, “Look here, gipsy! I tell you what we will do; and this is my last word. You shall hand me over six shillings and sixpence, cash down; and further, in addition thereto, you shall give me as much breakfast as I can possibly eat, at one sitting of course, out of that iron pot of yours that keeps sending forth such delicious and exciting smells. In return, I will make over to you my spirited young horse, with all the beautiful harness and trappings that are on him, freely thrown in. If that’s not good enough for you, say so, and I’ll be getting on. I know a man near here who’s wanted this horse of mine for years.”
Then Toad sat and thought for a long time. He was hungry and broke, still quite a distance from home, and he knew enemies might still be searching for him. In a situation like this, five shillings could seem like a lot of money. However, it didn’t seem like much for a horse. But then again, the horse hadn’t cost him anything; so whatever he got was pure profit. Finally, he said firmly, “Listen here, gypsy! Here’s what we’ll do, and this is my final offer. You will give me six shillings and sixpence, cash upfront; and in addition to that, you’ll give me as much breakfast as I can possibly eat, all at once of course, from that iron pot of yours that keeps sending out such delicious and tempting smells. In exchange, I’ll give you my spirited young horse, along with all the beautiful harness and gear on him, thrown in for free. If that isn’t good enough for you, just say so, and I’ll be on my way. I know a guy nearby who’s wanted this horse of mine for years.”
The gipsy grumbled frightfully, and declared if he did a few more deals of that sort he’d be ruined. But in the end he lugged a dirty canvas bag out of the depths of his trouser pocket, and counted out six shillings and sixpence into Toad’s paw. Then he disappeared into the caravan for an instant, and returned with a large iron plate and a knife, fork, and spoon. He tilted up the pot, and a glorious stream of hot rich stew gurgled into the plate. It was, indeed, the most beautiful stew in the world, being made of partridges, and pheasants, and chickens, and hares, and rabbits, and pea-hens, and guinea-fowls, and one or two other things. Toad took the plate on his lap, almost crying, and stuffed, and stuffed, and stuffed, and kept asking for more, and the gipsy never grudged it him. He thought that he had never eaten so good a breakfast in all his life.
The gypsy complained loudly, saying that if he made a few more deals like that, he’d be finished. But in the end, he pulled out a dirty canvas bag from the depths of his trouser pocket and counted out six shillings and sixpence into Toad’s hand. Then he disappeared into the caravan for a moment and came back with a large iron plate along with a knife, fork, and spoon. He tipped the pot, and a wonderful stream of hot, rich stew poured into the plate. It was, without a doubt, the most amazing stew in the world, made from partridges, pheasants, chickens, hares, rabbits, pea-hens, guinea fowls, and a couple of other things. Toad placed the plate on his lap, nearly in tears, and kept stuffing himself, repeatedly asking for more, which the gypsy happily provided. He thought he had never had such a good breakfast in his entire life.
When Toad had taken as much stew on board as he thought he could possibly hold, he got up and said good-bye to the gipsy, and took an affectionate farewell of the horse; and the gipsy, who knew the riverside well, gave him directions which way to go, and he set forth on his travels again in the best possible spirits. He was, indeed, a very different Toad from the animal of an hour ago. The sun was shining brightly, his wet clothes were quite dry again, he had money in his pocket once more, he was nearing home and friends and safety, and, most and best of all, he had had a substantial meal, hot and nourishing, and felt big, and strong, and careless, and self-confident.
When Toad had eaten as much stew as he thought he could handle, he got up, said goodbye to the gypsy, and gave a fond farewell to the horse. The gypsy, who knew the riverside well, gave him directions on where to go, and he set off on his journey again, feeling great. He was, in fact, a very different Toad from the one he had been an hour ago. The sun was shining brightly, his wet clothes were completely dry again, he had money in his pocket once more, he was getting closer to home, friends, and safety, and, most importantly, he had enjoyed a hearty, warm meal, which made him feel big, strong, carefree, and confident.
As he tramped along gaily, he thought of his adventures and escapes, and how when things seemed at their worst he had always managed to find a way out; and his pride and conceit began to swell within him. “Ho, ho!” he said to himself as he marched along with his chin in the air, “what a clever Toad I am! There is surely no animal equal to me for cleverness in the whole world! My enemies shut me up in prison, encircled by sentries, watched night and day by warders; I walk out through them all, by sheer ability coupled with courage. They pursue me with engines, and policemen, and revolvers; I snap my fingers at them, and vanish, laughing, into space. I am, unfortunately, thrown into a canal by a woman fat of body and very evil-minded. What of it? I swim ashore, I seize her horse, I ride off in triumph, and I sell the horse for a whole pocketful of money and an excellent breakfast! Ho, ho! I am The Toad, the handsome, the popular, the successful Toad!” He got so puffed up with conceit that he made up a song as he walked in praise of himself, and sang it at the top of his voice, though there was no one to hear it but him. It was perhaps the most conceited song that any animal ever composed.
As he stomped along happily, he thought about his adventures and narrow escapes, and how whenever things seemed their worst, he always managed to find a way out; his pride and ego began to swell within him. “Ha, ha!” he said to himself as he walked with his chin held high, “what a clever Toad I am! There’s surely no animal as clever as I am in the whole world! My enemies locked me away in prison, surrounded by guards, watched day and night by wardens; I walk right past them, thanks to my sheer skill and bravery. They chase me with vehicles, and cops, and guns; I just snap my fingers at them and disappear, laughing, into thin air. I am, unfortunately, thrown into a canal by a woman who is both big and very mean-spirited. So what? I swim to shore, I grab her horse, I ride off in victory, and I sell the horse for a pocket full of money and a fantastic breakfast! Ha, ha! I am The Toad, the charming, the popular, the successful Toad!” He got so full of himself that he made up a song as he walked to praise his own greatness and sang it at the top of his lungs, even though there was no one around to hear it but himself. It was probably the most conceited song any animal had ever written.
“The world has held great Heroes,
As history-books have showed;
But never a name to go down to fame
Compared with that of Toad!
“The clever men at Oxford
Know all that there is to be knowed.
But they none of them know one half as much
As intelligent Mr. Toad!
“The animals sat in the Ark and cried,
Their tears in torrents flowed.
Who was it said, ‘There’s land ahead?’
Encouraging Mr. Toad!
“The army all saluted
As they marched along the road.
Was it the King? Or Kitchener?
No. It was Mr. Toad.
“The Queen and her Ladies-in-waiting
Sat at the window and sewed.
She cried, ‘Look! who’s that handsome man?’
They answered, ‘Mr. Toad.’”
“The world has seen great heroes,
As history books have shown;
But no name has gained more fame
Than that of Toad!
“The smart people at Oxford
Know everything there is to know.
But none of them know even half as much
As clever Mr. Toad!
“The animals sat in the Ark and cried,
Their tears flowed like a river.
Who was it that said, ‘There’s land ahead?’
Encouraging Mr. Toad!
“The army all saluted
As they marched down the road.
Was it the King? Or Kitchener?
No. It was Mr. Toad.
“The Queen and her Ladies-in-waiting
Sat by the window and sewed.
She exclaimed, ‘Look! Who's that handsome man?’
They replied, ‘Mr. Toad.’”
There was a great deal more of the same sort, but too dreadfully conceited to be written down. These are some of the milder verses.
There was a lot more of the same type, but it was too incredibly arrogant to be recorded. These are some of the softer verses.
He sang as he walked, and he walked as he sang, and got more inflated every minute. But his pride was shortly to have a severe fall.
He sang while he walked, and he walked while he sang, getting more full of himself with each passing minute. But soon, his pride was about to take a big hit.
After some miles of country lanes he reached the high road, and as he turned into it and glanced along its white length, he saw approaching him a speck that turned into a dot and then into a blob, and then into something very familiar; and a double note of warning, only too well known, fell on his delighted ear.
After a few miles of country roads, he reached the main highway, and as he turned onto it and looked down its long, straight stretch, he noticed a tiny figure coming toward him that became a small dot, then a larger shape, and finally something he recognized; the sound of a familiar two-tone warning echoed in his happy ears.
“This is something like!” said the excited Toad. “This is real life again, this is once more the great world from which I have been missed so long! I will hail them, my brothers of the wheel, and pitch them a yarn, of the sort that has been so successful hitherto; and they will give me a lift, of course, and then I will talk to them some more; and, perhaps, with luck, it may even end in my driving up to Toad Hall in a motor-car! That will be one in the eye for Badger!”
“This is amazing!” said the excited Toad. “This is real life again, this is the great world I’ve been missing for so long! I’ll call out to my fellow drivers and share a story, just like I’ve done successfully before; they’ll definitely give me a ride, and then I’ll chat with them some more; and maybe, if I get lucky, it could even end with me driving up to Toad Hall in a car! That’ll show Badger!”
He stepped confidently out into the road to hail the motor-car, which came along at an easy pace, slowing down as it neared the lane; when suddenly he became very pale, his heart turned to water, his knees shook and yielded under him, and he doubled up and collapsed with a sickening pain in his interior. And well he might, the unhappy animal; for the approaching car was the very one he had stolen out of the yard of the Red Lion Hotel on that fatal day when all his troubles began! And the people in it were the very same people he had sat and watched at luncheon in the coffee-room!
He stepped confidently out into the street to flag down the car, which was cruising by at a relaxed pace, slowing as it approached the lane. Then suddenly, he went pale, his heart raced, his knees shook and gave way beneath him, and he doubled over, feeling a sickening pain in his stomach. And no wonder, the poor guy; for the car coming toward him was the same one he had stolen from the yard of the Red Lion Hotel on that fateful day when all his problems started! And the people inside were the exact same ones he’d watched while having lunch in the coffee room!
He sank down in a shabby, miserable heap in the road, murmuring to himself in his despair, “It’s all up! It’s all over now! Chains and policemen again! Prison again! Dry bread and water again! O, what a fool I have been! What did I want to go strutting about the country for, singing conceited songs, and hailing people in broad day on the high road, instead of hiding till nightfall and slipping home quietly by back ways! O hapless Toad! O ill-fated animal!”
He collapsed in a worn-out, pitiful heap on the road, mumbling to himself in his despair, “It’s all over! It’s all finished now! Chains and cops again! Jail again! Stale bread and water again! Oh, what a fool I’ve been! Why did I want to strut around the countryside, singing arrogant songs, and greeting people in broad daylight on the highway, instead of just hiding until nightfall and sneaking home quietly through back streets! Oh, unfortunate Toad! Oh, doomed creature!”
The terrible motor-car drew slowly nearer and nearer, till at last he heard it stop just short of him. Two gentlemen got out and walked round the trembling heap of crumpled misery lying in the road, and one of them said, “O dear! this is very sad! Here is a poor old thing—a washerwoman apparently—who has fainted in the road! Perhaps she is overcome by the heat, poor creature; or possibly she has not had any food to-day. Let us lift her into the car and take her to the nearest village, where doubtless she has friends.”
The awful car came closer and closer until it finally stopped just in front of him. Two men got out and walked around the shaken figure of despair lying in the road, and one of them said, “Oh no! This is really sad! Here’s a poor old woman—a washerwoman, it seems—who has fainted in the road! Maybe she’s been overcome by the heat, poor thing; or perhaps she hasn’t eaten anything today. Let’s lift her into the car and take her to the nearest village where she probably has friends.”
They tenderly lifted Toad into the motor-car and propped him up with soft cushions, and proceeded on their way.
They gently lifted Toad into the car and supported him with soft cushions, and continued on their journey.
When Toad heard them talk in so kind and sympathetic a way, and knew that he was not recognised, his courage began to revive, and he cautiously opened first one eye and then the other.
When Toad heard them speaking in such a kind and sympathetic way, and realized that he wasn't recognized, his courage started to come back, and he carefully opened one eye and then the other.
“Look!” said one of the gentlemen, “she is better already. The fresh air is doing her good. How do you feel now, ma’am?”
“Look!” said one of the gentlemen, “she's already looking better. The fresh air is helping her. How do you feel now, ma’am?”
“Thank you kindly, Sir,” said Toad in a feeble voice, “I’m feeling a great deal better!” “That’s right,” said the gentleman. “Now keep quite still, and, above all, don’t try to talk.”
“Thank you so much, Sir,” said Toad in a weak voice, “I’m feeling a lot better!” “That’s good,” said the gentleman. “Now stay perfectly still, and, most importantly, don’t try to talk.”
“I won’t,” said Toad. “I was only thinking, if I might sit on the front seat there, beside the driver, where I could get the fresh air full in my face, I should soon be all right again.”
“I won’t,” said Toad. “I was just thinking, if I could sit in the front seat beside the driver, where the fresh air could hit my face, I’d feel better in no time.”
“What a very sensible woman!” said the gentleman. “Of course you shall.” So they carefully helped Toad into the front seat beside the driver, and on they went again.
“What a really sensible woman!” said the gentleman. “Of course you can.” So they carefully helped Toad into the front seat next to the driver, and off they went again.
Toad was almost himself again by now. He sat up, looked about him, and tried to beat down the tremors, the yearnings, the old cravings that rose up and beset him and took possession of him entirely.
Toad was nearly himself again by this point. He sat up, looked around, and tried to shake off the tremors, the longings, the old desires that surged up and overwhelmed him completely.
“It is fate!” he said to himself. “Why strive? why struggle?” and he turned to the driver at his side.
“It’s fate!” he said to himself. “Why bother? Why fight?” Then he turned to the driver next to him.
“Please, Sir,” he said, “I wish you would kindly let me try and drive the car for a little. I’ve been watching you carefully, and it looks so easy and so interesting, and I should like to be able to tell my friends that once I had driven a motor-car!”
“Please, sir,” he said, “I would really appreciate it if you could let me take a turn driving the car for a bit. I’ve been watching you closely, and it seems so easy and interesting, and I’d love to tell my friends that I once drove a motor car!”
The driver laughed at the proposal, so heartily that the gentleman inquired what the matter was. When he heard, he said, to Toad’s delight, “Bravo, ma’am! I like your spirit. Let her have a try, and look after her. She won’t do any harm.”
The driver laughed at the suggestion so hard that the gentleman asked what was funny. When he found out, he said, to Toad’s joy, “Well done, ma’am! I appreciate your enthusiasm. Let her give it a shot, and keep an eye on her. She won’t cause any trouble.”
Toad eagerly scrambled into the seat vacated by the driver, took the steering-wheel in his hands, listened with affected humility to the instructions given him, and set the car in motion, but very slowly and carefully at first, for he was determined to be prudent.
Toad happily jumped into the seat left by the driver, grabbed the steering wheel, listened with fake modesty to the instructions he received, and slowly started the car, taking care at first because he was determined to be cautious.
The gentlemen behind clapped their hands and applauded, and Toad heard them saying, “How well she does it! Fancy a washerwoman driving a car as well as that, the first time!”
The men behind clapped and cheered, and Toad heard them saying, “She does it so well! Can you believe a washerwoman is driving a car that well, and it’s her first time?”
Toad went a little faster; then faster still, and faster.
Toad sped up a bit, then even faster, and then even quicker.
He heard the gentlemen call out warningly, “Be careful, washerwoman!” And this annoyed him, and he began to lose his head.
He heard the guys shout a warning, “Watch out, washerwoman!” This irritated him, and he started to lose his composure.
The driver tried to interfere, but he pinned him down in his seat with one elbow, and put on full speed. The rush of air in his face, the hum of the engines, and the light jump of the car beneath him intoxicated his weak brain. “Washerwoman, indeed!” he shouted recklessly. “Ho! ho! I am the Toad, the motor-car snatcher, the prison-breaker, the Toad who always escapes! Sit still, and you shall know what driving really is, for you are in the hands of the famous, the skilful, the entirely fearless Toad!”
The driver tried to fight back, but he held him down in his seat with one elbow and floored the accelerator. The rush of air in his face, the hum of the engines, and the slight bounce of the car below him overwhelmed his weak mind. "Washerwoman, really!" he shouted recklessly. "Ha! Ha! I am the Toad, the car thief, the escape artist, the Toad who always gets away! Stay still, and you’ll see what real driving is like, because you’re in the hands of the famous, the skilled, and the completely fearless Toad!"
With a cry of horror the whole party rose and flung themselves on him. “Seize him!” they cried, “seize the Toad, the wicked animal who stole our motor-car! Bind him, chain him, drag him to the nearest police-station! Down with the desperate and dangerous Toad!”
With a scream of shock, everyone in the group jumped up and attacked him. “Grab him!” they shouted, “grab the Toad, the evil creature who stole our car! Tie him up, chain him, drag him to the nearest police station! Down with the desperate and dangerous Toad!”
Alas! they should have thought, they ought to have been more prudent, they should have remembered to stop the motor-car somehow before playing any pranks of that sort. With a half-turn of the wheel the Toad sent the car crashing through the low hedge that ran along the roadside. One mighty bound, a violent shock, and the wheels of the car were churning up the thick mud of a horse-pond.
Unfortunately, they should have realized they needed to be more careful; they should have remembered to stop the car somehow before doing anything foolish. With a quick turn of the wheel, the Toad sent the car smashing through the low hedge by the road. With one strong leap, a hard jolt, and the wheels of the car were stirring up the thick mud of a horse-pond.
Toad found himself flying through the air with the strong upward rush and delicate curve of a swallow. He liked the motion, and was just beginning to wonder whether it would go on until he developed wings and turned into a Toad-bird, when he landed on his back with a thump, in the soft rich grass of a meadow. Sitting up, he could just see the motor-car in the pond, nearly submerged; the gentlemen and the driver, encumbered by their long coats, were floundering helplessly in the water.
Toad found himself soaring through the air with the strong lift and graceful arc of a swallow. He enjoyed the feeling and was just starting to think about whether it would continue until he grew wings and transformed into a Toad-bird, when he landed on his back with a thud, in the soft, lush grass of a meadow. Sitting up, he could barely see the car in the pond, almost completely underwater; the men and the driver, weighed down by their long coats, were struggling helplessly in the water.
He picked himself up rapidly, and set off running across country as hard as he could, scrambling through hedges, jumping ditches, pounding across fields, till he was breathless and weary, and had to settle down into an easy walk. When he had recovered his breath somewhat, and was able to think calmly, he began to giggle, and from giggling he took to laughing, and he laughed till he had to sit down under a hedge. “Ho, ho!” he cried, in ecstasies of self-admiration, “Toad again! Toad, as usual, comes out on the top! Who was it got them to give him a lift? Who managed to get on the front seat for the sake of fresh air? Who persuaded them into letting him see if he could drive? Who landed them all in a horse-pond? Who escaped, flying gaily and unscathed through the air, leaving the narrow-minded, grudging, timid excursionists in the mud where they should rightly be? Why, Toad, of course; clever Toad, great Toad, good Toad!”
He quickly got back on his feet and took off running through the fields as fast as he could, scrambling over hedges, jumping ditches, and bounding across fields, until he was out of breath and exhausted, forcing him to slow down to an easy walk. Once he had caught his breath and could think clearly, he started to giggle, then moved on to laughing, and he laughed so much that he had to sit down under a hedge. “Ho, ho!” he exclaimed, filled with self-admiration, “Toad again! Toad, as usual, comes out on top! Who was it that got them to give him a ride? Who managed to sit in the front seat for some fresh air? Who talked them into letting him try driving? Who ended up crashing them all into a horse-pond? Who flew away, cheerful and unhurt, leaving those narrow-minded, begrudging, timid travelers stuck in the mud where they belong? Why, Toad, of course; clever Toad, great Toad, good Toad!”
Then he burst into song again, and chanted with uplifted voice—
Then he broke into song again, singing with an elevated voice—
“The motor-car went Poop-poop-poop,
As it raced along the road.
Who was it steered it into a pond?
Ingenious Mr. Toad!
“The car went honk-honk-honk,
As it sped down the road.
Who drove it into a pond?
Clever Mr. Toad!
O, how clever I am! How clever, how clever, how very clev——”
O, how smart I am! How smart, how smart, how very smar——”
A slight noise at a distance behind him made him turn his head and look. O horror! O misery! O despair!
A faint sound coming from behind him made him turn his head to look. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!
About two fields off, a chauffeur in his leather gaiters and two large rural policemen were visible, running towards him as hard as they could go!
About two fields away, a chauffeur in his leather boots and two large country police officers could be seen running toward him as fast as they could!
Poor Toad sprang to his feet and pelted away again, his heart in his mouth. O, my!” he gasped, as he panted along, “what an ass I am! What a conceited and heedless ass! Swaggering again! Shouting and singing songs again! Sitting still and gassing again! O my! O my! O my!”
Poor Toad jumped to his feet and ran off again, his heart racing. “Oh, my!” he gasped as he caught his breath, “what an idiot I am! What a self-centered and reckless idiot! Acting all tough again! Shouting and singing again! Just sitting around and talking again! Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!”
He glanced back, and saw to his dismay that they were gaining on him. On he ran desperately, but kept looking back, and saw that they still gained steadily. He did his best, but he was a fat animal, and his legs were short, and still they gained. He could hear them close behind him now. Ceasing to heed where he was going, he struggled on blindly and wildly, looking back over his shoulder at the now triumphant enemy, when suddenly the earth failed under his feet, he grasped at the air, and, splash! he found himself head over ears in deep water, rapid water, water that bore him along with a force he could not contend with; and he knew that in his blind panic he had run straight into the river!
He looked back and, to his horror, saw they were closing in on him. He ran desperately but kept glancing behind, seeing they were still catching up. He tried his hardest, but he was a heavy animal with short legs, and they continued to gain on him. Now he could hear them right behind him. Ignoring where he was going, he fought on blindly and frantically, looking back at the now victorious pursuers when suddenly the ground gave way beneath him. He reached out for something to hold on to, and splash! he found himself headfirst in deep water, rushing water that swept him along with a force he couldn’t resist; in his blind panic, he had run straight into the river!
He rose to the surface and tried to grasp the reeds and the rushes that grew along the water’s edge close under the bank, but the stream was so strong that it tore them out of his hands. “O my!” gasped poor Toad, “if ever I steal a motor-car again! If ever I sing another conceited song”—then down he went, and came up breathless and spluttering. Presently he saw that he was approaching a big dark hole in the bank, just above his head, and as the stream bore him past he reached up with a paw and caught hold of the edge and held on. Then slowly and with difficulty he drew himself up out of the water, till at last he was able to rest his elbows on the edge of the hole. There he remained for some minutes, puffing and panting, for he was quite exhausted.
He came up to the surface and tried to grab the reeds and rushes growing along the water's edge near the bank, but the current was so strong that it pulled them right out of his hands. “Oh no!” gasped poor Toad, “if I ever steal a car again! If I ever sing another arrogant song”—then he went under again and came up breathless and spluttering. Soon he noticed he was heading toward a large dark hole in the bank, just above him, and as the current carried him past, he reached up with a paw, grabbed the edge, and held on. Then slowly and with great effort, he pulled himself up out of the water until he could finally rest his elbows on the edge of the hole. He stayed there for a few minutes, puffing and panting, because he was completely worn out.
As he sighed and blew and stared before him into the dark hole, some bright small thing shone and twinkled in its depths, moving towards him. As it approached, a face grew up gradually around it, and it was a familiar face!
As he sighed, exhaled, and stared into the dark void ahead, a small, bright object shimmered and sparkled in its depths, coming closer to him. As it neared, a face slowly emerged around it, and it was a face he recognized!
Brown and small, with whiskers.
Brown, small, and whiskered.
Grave and round, with neat ears and silky hair.
Grave and round, with neat ears and soft hair.
It was the Water Rat!
It was the Water Rat!
XI.
“LIKE SUMMER TEMPESTS CAME HIS TEARS”
The Rat put out a neat little brown paw, gripped Toad firmly by the scruff of the neck, and gave a great hoist and a pull; and the water-logged Toad came up slowly but surely over the edge of the hole, till at last he stood safe and sound in the hall, streaked with mud and weed to be sure, and with the water streaming off him, but happy and high-spirited as of old, now that he found himself once more in the house of a friend, and dodgings and evasions were over, and he could lay aside a disguise that was unworthy of his position and wanted such a lot of living up to.
The Rat reached out a tidy little brown paw, grabbed Toad firmly by the back of the neck, and gave a strong lift and pull; soon, the soaked Toad emerged slowly but surely from the hole until he was finally safe and sound in the hall, covered in mud and weeds, with water dripping off him. But he felt happy and cheerful as ever, now that he was back in the house of a friend, and the dodging and hiding were over. He could finally drop a disguise that wasn't right for him and required so much effort to maintain.
“O, Ratty!” he cried. “I’ve been through such times since I saw you last, you can’t think! Such trials, such sufferings, and all so nobly borne! Then such escapes, such disguises such subterfuges, and all so cleverly planned and carried out! Been in prison—got out of it, of course! Been thrown into a canal—swam ashore! Stole a horse—sold him for a large sum of money! Humbugged everybody—made ’em all do exactly what I wanted! Oh, I am a smart Toad, and no mistake! What do you think my last exploit was? Just hold on till I tell you——”
“Oh, Ratty!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been through so much since I last saw you, you wouldn't believe it! So many challenges, so much suffering, and I handled it all so nobly! Then there were the escapes, the disguises, the tricks, all so cleverly planned and executed! I got thrown in prison—got out of it, of course! I ended up in a canal—swam to safety! I stole a horse—sold him for a good amount of money! Pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes—made them all do exactly what I wanted! Oh, I am a clever Toad, no doubt about it! Want to hear about my latest adventure? Just wait till I tell you——”
“Toad,” said the Water Rat, gravely and firmly, “you go off upstairs at once, and take off that old cotton rag that looks as if it might formerly have belonged to some washerwoman, and clean yourself thoroughly, and put on some of my clothes, and try and come down looking like a gentleman if you can; for a more shabby, bedraggled, disreputable-looking object than you are I never set eyes on in my whole life! Now, stop swaggering and arguing, and be off! I’ll have something to say to you later!”
“Toad,” said the Water Rat, seriously and firmly, “you need to head upstairs right now, take off that old rag that looks like it used to belong to some washerwoman, clean yourself up properly, and put on some of my clothes. Try to come down looking like a gentleman if you can; because I’ve never seen anyone who looks as shabby, messy, and disreputable as you do right now! Now, stop acting tough and debating with me, and just go! I’ll have more to say to you later!”
Toad was at first inclined to stop and do some talking back at him. He had had enough of being ordered about when he was in prison, and here was the thing being begun all over again, apparently; and by a Rat, too! However, he caught sight of himself in the looking-glass over the hat-stand, with the rusty black bonnet perched rakishly over one eye, and he changed his mind and went very quickly and humbly upstairs to the Rat’s dressing-room. There he had a thorough wash and brush-up, changed his clothes, and stood for a long time before the glass, contemplating himself with pride and pleasure, and thinking what utter idiots all the people must have been to have ever mistaken him for one moment for a washerwoman.
Toad initially felt like stopping and talking back, annoyed by being bossed around again after his time in prison, and now it was happening all over again—this time by a Rat! But then he saw himself in the mirror above the hat stand, with the rusty black hat tilted over one eye, and he changed his mind. He quickly and humbly went upstairs to the Rat’s dressing room. There, he thoroughly washed up, changed his clothes, and spent a long time in front of the mirror, admiring himself with pride and pleasure, thinking about how ridiculous everyone must have been to ever confuse him for a washerwoman.
By the time he came down again luncheon was on the table, and very glad Toad was to see it, for he had been through some trying experiences and had taken much hard exercise since the excellent breakfast provided for him by the gipsy. While they ate Toad told the Rat all his adventures, dwelling chiefly on his own cleverness, and presence of mind in emergencies, and cunning in tight places; and rather making out that he had been having a gay and highly-coloured experience. But the more he talked and boasted, the more grave and silent the Rat became.
By the time he came down again, lunch was on the table, and Toad was really glad to see it, because he had gone through some tough experiences and had done a lot of hard exercise since the great breakfast the gypsy had prepared for him. While they ate, Toad told the Rat all about his adventures, focusing mostly on his cleverness, quick thinking in emergencies, and resourcefulness in tricky situations; he kind of made it sound like he had been having a fun and exciting time. But the more he talked and boasted, the more serious and quiet the Rat became.
When at last Toad had talked himself to a standstill, there was silence for a while; and then the Rat said, “Now, Toady, I don’t want to give you pain, after all you’ve been through already; but, seriously, don’t you see what an awful ass you’ve been making of yourself? On your own admission you have been handcuffed, imprisoned, starved, chased, terrified out of your life, insulted, jeered at, and ignominiously flung into the water—by a woman, too! Where’s the amusement in that? Where does the fun come in? And all because you must needs go and steal a motor-car. You know that you’ve never had anything but trouble from motor-cars from the moment you first set eyes on one. But if you will be mixed up with them—as you generally are, five minutes after you’ve started—why steal them? Be a cripple, if you think it’s exciting; be a bankrupt, for a change, if you’ve set your mind on it: but why choose to be a convict? When are you going to be sensible, and think of your friends, and try and be a credit to them? Do you suppose it’s any pleasure to me, for instance, to hear animals saying, as I go about, that I’m the chap that keeps company with gaol-birds?”
When Toad finally ran out of things to say, there was silence for a moment. Then the Rat said, “Now, Toady, I don’t want to hurt your feelings after everything you’ve been through, but seriously, can’t you see what a complete fool you’ve been making of yourself? By your own account, you’ve been handcuffed, locked up, starved, chased, terrified out of your mind, insulted, laughed at, and thrown into the water—by a woman, no less! Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the entertainment? And all because you had to go and steal a car. You know you’ve only had trouble from cars since the moment you first saw one. But if you insist on getting involved with them—as you usually do, five minutes after you start—then why steal them? Be a wreck, if you think that’s exciting; go bankrupt for a change if that’s what you want; but why choose to be a criminal? When are you going to start being sensible, think about your friends, and try to be someone they can be proud of? Do you really think it’s fun for me, for example, to hear animals saying, as I walk around, that I’m the guy who hangs out with convicts?”
Now, it was a very comforting point in Toad’s character that he was a thoroughly good-hearted animal and never minded being jawed by those who were his real friends. And even when most set upon a thing, he was always able to see the other side of the question. So although, while the Rat was talking so seriously, he kept saying to himself mutinously, “But it was fun, though! Awful fun!” and making strange suppressed noises inside him, k-i-ck-ck-ck, and poop-p-p, and other sounds resembling stifled snorts, or the opening of soda-water bottles, yet when the Rat had quite finished, he heaved a deep sigh and said, very nicely and humbly, “Quite right, Ratty! How sound you always are! Yes, I’ve been a conceited old ass, I can quite see that; but now I’m going to be a good Toad, and not do it any more. As for motor-cars, I’ve not been at all so keen about them since my last ducking in that river of yours. The fact is, while I was hanging on to the edge of your hole and getting my breath, I had a sudden idea—a really brilliant idea—connected with motor-boats—there, there! don’t take on so, old chap, and stamp, and upset things; it was only an idea, and we won’t talk any more about it now. We’ll have our coffee, and a smoke, and a quiet chat, and then I’m going to stroll quietly down to Toad Hall, and get into clothes of my own, and set things going again on the old lines. I’ve had enough of adventures. I shall lead a quiet, steady, respectable life, pottering about my property, and improving it, and doing a little landscape gardening at times. There will always be a bit of dinner for my friends when they come to see me; and I shall keep a pony-chaise to jog about the country in, just as I used to in the good old days, before I got restless, and wanted to do things.”
Now, it was really reassuring about Toad’s character that he was a genuinely good-hearted creature and didn’t mind being scolded by those who were his true friends. Even when he was most fixated on something, he could always see the other side of the argument. So, even though the Rat was talking seriously, Toad kept muttering to himself, “But it was fun, though! Really fun!” and making strange, suppressed noises inside, like k-i-ck-ck-ck, and poop-p-p, and other sounds that resembled stifled snorts or the opening of soda bottles. Yet when the Rat finished talking, Toad let out a deep sigh and said very nicely and humbly, “You’re absolutely right, Ratty! How smart you always are! Yes, I’ve been a conceited old fool, and I can see that; but now I’m going to be a good Toad and stop it for good. As for motor-cars, I haven’t been so enthusiastic about them since my last dunk in that river of yours. The truth is, while I was hanging onto the edge of your hole and catching my breath, I had a sudden idea—a really brilliant one—related to motorboats—there, there! Don’t get upset, old chap, and stomp around and knock things over; it was just an idea, and we won’t discuss it anymore right now. We’ll have our coffee, and a smoke, and a nice chat, and then I’m going to take a leisurely walk down to Toad Hall, change into my own clothes, and get everything back on track as it was before. I’ve had enough of adventures. I’m going to live a quiet, steady, respectable life, working on my property, improving it, and doing a bit of landscaping now and then. There will always be a nice dinner for my friends when they come to see me; and I’ll keep a pony-chaise to take leisurely trips around the countryside, just like I used to in the good old days before I got restless and wanted to do things.”
“Stroll quietly down to Toad Hall?” cried the Rat, greatly excited. “What are you talking about? Do you mean to say you haven’t heard?”
“Walk quietly down to Toad Hall?” shouted the Rat, very excited. “What are you talking about? Are you saying you haven’t heard?”
“Heard what?” said Toad, turning rather pale. “Go on, Ratty! Quick! Don’t spare me! What haven’t I heard?”
“Heard what?” Toad asked, looking a bit pale. “Come on, Ratty! Hurry up! Don’t hold back! What haven’t I heard?”
“Do you mean to tell me,” shouted the Rat, thumping with his little fist upon the table, “that you’ve heard nothing about the Stoats and Weasels?”
“Are you seriously telling me,” shouted the Rat, pounding his tiny fist on the table, “that you haven’t heard anything about the Stoats and Weasels?”
What, the Wild Wooders?” cried Toad, trembling in every limb. “No, not a word! What have they been doing?”
“What, the Wild Wooders?” Toad exclaimed, shaking all over. “No, not a word! What have they been up to?”
“—And how they’ve been and taken Toad Hall?” continued the Rat.
“—And how they’ve taken Toad Hall?” the Rat continued.
Toad leaned his elbows on the table, and his chin on his paws; and a large tear welled up in each of his eyes, overflowed and splashed on the table, plop! plop!
Toad rested his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hands; a big tear filled each of his eyes, spilled over, and splashed onto the table, plop! plop!
“Go on, Ratty,” he murmured presently; “tell me all. The worst is over. I am an animal again. I can bear it.”
“Go on, Ratty,” he whispered after a moment; “tell me everything. The worst is over. I’m an animal again. I can handle it.”
“When you—got—into that—that—trouble of yours,” said the Rat, slowly and impressively; “I mean, when you—disappeared from society for a time, over that misunderstanding about a—a machine, you know—”
“When you got into that trouble of yours,” said the Rat, slowly and seriously; “I mean, when you disappeared from society for a while because of that misunderstanding about a machine, you know—”
Toad merely nodded.
Toad just nodded.
“Well, it was a good deal talked about down here, naturally,” continued the Rat, “not only along the river-side, but even in the Wild Wood. Animals took sides, as always happens. The River-bankers stuck up for you, and said you had been infamously treated, and there was no justice to be had in the land nowadays. But the Wild Wood animals said hard things, and served you right, and it was time this sort of thing was stopped. And they got very cocky, and went about saying you were done for this time! You would never come back again, never, never!”
“Well, it was definitely a hot topic around here,” continued the Rat, “not just by the river, but even in the Wild Wood. Animals picked sides, as is always the case. The River-bankers defended you and said you had been treated horribly, and that there’s no justice left in this place. But the Wild Wood animals had a lot to say, claiming it was deserved and that it was time for this behavior to end. They got really cocky and went around saying you were finished this time! You’d never come back, never, ever!”
Toad nodded once more, keeping silence.
Toad nodded again, remaining silent.
“That’s the sort of little beasts they are,” the Rat went on. “But Mole and Badger, they stuck out, through thick and thin, that you would come back again soon, somehow. They didn’t know exactly how, but somehow!”
"That’s what kind of little creatures they are," the Rat continued. "But Mole and Badger, they believed, no matter what, that you would return soon, somehow. They weren’t sure how, but somehow!"
Toad began to sit up in his chair again, and to smirk a little.
Toad started to sit up in his chair again and smirked a bit.
“They argued from history,” continued the Rat. “They said that no criminal laws had ever been known to prevail against cheek and plausibility such as yours, combined with the power of a long purse. So they arranged to move their things in to Toad Hall, and sleep there, and keep it aired, and have it all ready for you when you turned up. They didn’t guess what was going to happen, of course; still, they had their suspicions of the Wild Wood animals. Now I come to the most painful and tragic part of my story. One dark night—it was a very dark night, and blowing hard, too, and raining simply cats and dogs—a band of weasels, armed to the teeth, crept silently up the carriage-drive to the front entrance. Simultaneously, a body of desperate ferrets, advancing through the kitchen-garden, possessed themselves of the backyard and offices; while a company of skirmishing stoats who stuck at nothing occupied the conservatory and the billiard-room, and held the French windows opening on to the lawn.
“They argued from history,” continued the Rat. “They said that no criminal laws had ever been effective against your cheek and smooth talk, especially when combined with a fat wallet. So they planned to move their stuff into Toad Hall, stay there, keep it aired out, and have everything ready for you when you showed up. They didn’t know what was coming, of course; still, they suspected the Wild Wood animals. Now I come to the most painful and tragic part of my story. One dark night—it was a very dark night, with strong winds and raining cats and dogs—a gang of weasels, heavily armed, quietly crept up the driveway to the front entrance. At the same time, a group of desperate ferrets made their way through the kitchen garden, taking control of the backyard and other areas; while a bunch of scheming stoats, who would do anything, occupied the conservatory and the billiard room, blocking the French windows that opened onto the lawn.
“The Mole and the Badger were sitting by the fire in the smoking-room, telling stories and suspecting nothing, for it wasn’t a night for any animals to be out in, when those bloodthirsty villains broke down the doors and rushed in upon them from every side. They made the best fight they could, but what was the good? They were unarmed, and taken by surprise, and what can two animals do against hundreds? They took and beat them severely with sticks, those two poor faithful creatures, and turned them out into the cold and the wet, with many insulting and uncalled-for remarks!”
“The Mole and the Badger were sitting by the fire in the smoking room, sharing stories and completely unaware of what was coming, because it wasn’t a night for any animals to be outside. Suddenly, those ruthless villains broke down the doors and rushed in from all sides. They fought back as best as they could, but what good did it do? They were unarmed and caught off guard, and what can two animals do against hundreds? They were beaten badly with sticks, those poor loyal creatures, and tossed out into the cold and wet, with a lot of insulting and unnecessary comments!”
Here the unfeeling Toad broke into a snigger, and then pulled himself together and tried to look particularly solemn.
Here, the unfeeling Toad burst into tears, then collected himself and attempted to appear especially serious.
“And the Wild Wooders have been living in Toad Hall ever since,” continued the Rat; “and going on simply anyhow! Lying in bed half the day, and breakfast at all hours, and the place in such a mess (I’m told) it’s not fit to be seen! Eating your grub, and drinking your drink, and making bad jokes about you, and singing vulgar songs, about—well, about prisons and magistrates, and policemen; horrid personal songs, with no humour in them. And they’re telling the tradespeople and everybody that they’ve come to stay for good.”
“And the Wild Wooders have been living in Toad Hall ever since,” continued the Rat; “and just going on like it’s no big deal! They lie in bed half the day, have breakfast whenever they feel like it, and the place is such a mess (I’ve heard) it’s not fit to be seen! They’re eating their food, drinking their drinks, making bad jokes about you, and singing inappropriate songs about—well, about prisons and judges, and cops; awful personal songs with no humor in them. And they’re telling the shopkeepers and everyone that they’ve come to stay for good.”
“O, have they!” said Toad getting up and seizing a stick. “I’ll jolly soon see about that!”
“O, they have!” said Toad, getting up and grabbing a stick. “I’ll take care of that right away!”
“It’s no good, Toad!” called the Rat after him. “You’d better come back and sit down; you’ll only get into trouble.”
“It’s no use, Toad!” called the Rat after him. “You should come back and sit down; you’ll just end up in trouble.”
But the Toad was off, and there was no holding him. He marched rapidly down the road, his stick over his shoulder, fuming and muttering to himself in his anger, till he got near his front gate, when suddenly there popped up from behind the palings a long yellow ferret with a gun.
But the Toad was gone, and there was no stopping him. He strode quickly down the road, his stick slung over his shoulder, steaming and grumbling to himself in his anger, until he got close to his front gate, when suddenly a long yellow ferret with a gun popped up from behind the fence.
“Who comes there?” said the ferret sharply.
“Who’s there?” the ferret said sharply.
“Stuff and nonsense!” said Toad, very angrily. “What do you mean by talking like that to me? Come out of that at once, or I’ll——”
“Stuff and nonsense!” Toad said, very angrily. “What do you mean by talking to me like that? Get out of there right now, or I’ll——”
The ferret said never a word, but he brought his gun up to his shoulder. Toad prudently dropped flat in the road, and Bang! a bullet whistled over his head.
The ferret didn't say a word, but he raised his gun to his shoulder. Toad wisely dropped flat on the road, and Bang! a bullet whizzed over his head.
The startled Toad scrambled to his feet and scampered off down the road as hard as he could; and as he ran he heard the ferret laughing and other horrid thin little laughs taking it up and carrying on the sound.
The startled Toad jumped to his feet and ran down the road as fast as he could; and as he ran, he heard the ferret laughing along with other creepy, high-pitched laughs echoing behind him.
He went back, very crestfallen, and told the Water Rat.
He went back, feeling very down, and told the Water Rat.
“What did I tell you?” said the Rat. “It’s no good. They’ve got sentries posted, and they are all armed. You must just wait.”
“What did I tell you?” said the Rat. “It’s useless. They’ve got guards stationed, and they’re all armed. You just have to wait.”
Still, Toad was not inclined to give in all at once. So he got out the boat, and set off rowing up the river to where the garden front of Toad Hall came down to the waterside.
Still, Toad wasn’t ready to give in completely. So he took out the boat and started rowing up the river to where the garden of Toad Hall met the water.
Arriving within sight of his old home, he rested on his oars and surveyed the land cautiously. All seemed very peaceful and deserted and quiet. He could see the whole front of Toad Hall, glowing in the evening sunshine, the pigeons settling by twos and threes along the straight line of the roof; the garden, a blaze of flowers; the creek that led up to the boat-house, the little wooden bridge that crossed it; all tranquil, uninhabited, apparently waiting for his return. He would try the boat-house first, he thought. Very warily he paddled up to the mouth of the creek, and was just passing under the bridge, when ... Crash!
As he neared his old home, he paused and carefully looked around. Everything seemed calm, empty, and quiet. He could see the entire front of Toad Hall, shining in the evening sun, with pigeons settling in pairs along the edge of the roof; the garden was full of vibrant flowers; the creek that led to the boathouse and the small wooden bridge crossing it were all peaceful and seemingly waiting for him to return. He decided to check the boathouse first. Cautiously, he paddled up to the entrance of the creek and was just passing under the bridge when... Crash!
A great stone, dropped from above, smashed through the bottom of the boat. It filled and sank, and Toad found himself struggling in deep water. Looking up, he saw two stoats leaning over the parapet of the bridge and watching him with great glee. “It will be your head next time, Toady!” they called out to him. The indignant Toad swam to shore, while the stoats laughed and laughed, supporting each other, and laughed again, till they nearly had two fits—that is, one fit each, of course.
A heavy stone, dropped from above, crashed through the bottom of the boat. It filled up with water and sank, leaving Toad struggling in deep water. Looking up, he saw two stoats leaning over the bridge and watching him with delight. “Next time, it’ll be your head, Toady!” they shouted at him. The outraged Toad swam to shore while the stoats laughed and laughed, leaning on each other, and laughed again until they almost had two fits—one fit each, of course.
The Toad retraced his weary way on foot, and related his disappointing experiences to the Water Rat once more.
The Toad walked back on foot, feeling tired, and told the Water Rat about his disappointing experiences again.
“Well, what did I tell you?” said the Rat very crossly. “And, now, look here! See what you’ve been and done! Lost me my boat that I was so fond of, that’s what you’ve done! And simply ruined that nice suit of clothes that I lent you! Really, Toad, of all the trying animals—I wonder you manage to keep any friends at all!”
“Well, what did I tell you?” said the Rat, clearly upset. “Now, look! See what you’ve done! You’ve lost my boat that I loved so much! And you've totally ruined that nice suit I lent you! Honestly, Toad, of all the frustrating animals—I don’t know how you manage to keep any friends at all!”
The Toad saw at once how wrongly and foolishly he had acted. He admitted his errors and wrong-headedness and made a full apology to Rat for losing his boat and spoiling his clothes. And he wound up by saying, with that frank self-surrender which always disarmed his friend’s criticism and won them back to his side, “Ratty! I see that I have been a headstrong and a wilful Toad! Henceforth, believe me, I will be humble and submissive, and will take no action without your kind advice and full approval!”
The Toad immediately recognized how wrong and foolish he had been. He acknowledged his mistakes and apologized to Rat for losing his boat and ruining his clothes. He finished by saying, with that open sincerity that always softened his friend's criticism and brought them back to his side, “Ratty! I realize that I have been a stubborn and willful Toad! From now on, believe me, I will be humble and respectful, and I won’t make any decisions without your guidance and approval!”
“If that is really so,” said the good-natured Rat, already appeased, “then my advice to you is, considering the lateness of the hour, to sit down and have your supper, which will be on the table in a minute, and be very patient. For I am convinced that we can do nothing until we have seen the Mole and the Badger, and heard their latest news, and held conference and taken their advice in this difficult matter.”
“If that's really the case,” said the good-natured Rat, already calming down, “then my advice is, given how late it is, to sit down and have your dinner, which will be ready in a minute, and be patient. I truly believe we can't do anything until we’ve talked to the Mole and the Badger, heard their latest updates, and had a discussion to get their input on this tricky situation.”
“Oh, ah, yes, of course, the Mole and the Badger,” said Toad, lightly. “What’s become of them, the dear fellows? I had forgotten all about them.”
“Oh, ah, yes, of course, the Mole and the Badger,” said Toad, casually. “What happened to them, those dear guys? I completely forgot about them.”
“Well may you ask!” said the Rat reproachfully. “While you were riding about the country in expensive motor-cars, and galloping proudly on blood-horses, and breakfasting on the fat of the land, those two poor devoted animals have been camping out in the open, in every sort of weather, living very rough by day and lying very hard by night; watching over your house, patrolling your boundaries, keeping a constant eye on the stoats and the weasels, scheming and planning and contriving how to get your property back for you. You don’t deserve to have such true and loyal friends, Toad, you don’t, really. Some day, when it’s too late, you’ll be sorry you didn’t value them more while you had them!”
“Well, you have every right to ask!” said the Rat with disapproval. “While you were out cruising the countryside in fancy cars, showing off on high-strung horses, and enjoying lavish meals, those two poor dedicated animals have been roughing it outside in all kinds of weather, struggling during the day and sleeping poorly at night; keeping watch over your home, patrolling your property, keeping an eye on the stoats and weasels, plotting and planning ways to recover your belongings. You really don’t deserve such true and loyal friends, Toad. Someday, when it’s too late, you’ll regret not appreciating them more when you had the chance!”
“I’m an ungrateful beast, I know,” sobbed Toad, shedding bitter tears. “Let me go out and find them, out into the cold, dark night, and share their hardships, and try and prove by——Hold on a bit! Surely I heard the chink of dishes on a tray! Supper’s here at last, hooray! Come on, Ratty!”
“I’m an ungrateful jerk, I know,” sobbed Toad, shedding bitter tears. “Let me go out and find them, out into the cold, dark night, and share their struggles, and try to prove by——Wait a second! I swear I heard the clink of dishes on a tray! Dinner’s finally here, hooray! Come on, Ratty!”
The Rat remembered that poor Toad had been on prison fare for a considerable time, and that large allowances had therefore to be made. He followed him to the table accordingly, and hospitably encouraged him in his gallant efforts to make up for past privations.
The Rat remembered that poor Toad had been eating prison food for a long time, so he knew he had to be understanding. He followed him to the table and cheerfully encouraged him in his brave attempts to make up for his past hardships.
They had just finished their meal and resumed their arm-chairs, when there came a heavy knock at the door.
They had just finished their meal and settled back into their armchairs when there was a loud knock at the door.
Toad was nervous, but the Rat, nodding mysteriously at him, went straight up to the door and opened it, and in walked Mr. Badger.
Toad was anxious, but the Rat, giving him a mysterious nod, walked right up to the door and opened it, and in walked Mr. Badger.
He had all the appearance of one who for some nights had been kept away from home and all its little comforts and conveniences. His shoes were covered with mud, and he was looking very rough and touzled; but then he had never been a very smart man, the Badger, at the best of times. He came solemnly up to Toad, shook him by the paw, and said, “Welcome home, Toad! Alas! what am I saying? Home, indeed! This is a poor home-coming. Unhappy Toad!” Then he turned his back on him, sat down to the table, drew his chair up, and helped himself to a large slice of cold pie.
He looked like someone who had been away from home for several nights, missing all its little comforts and conveniences. His shoes were muddy, and he looked pretty rough and messy; but then again, the Badger had never been the most put-together guy, even on his best days. He walked up to Toad with a serious expression, shook his hand, and said, “Welcome back, Toad! Oh no, what am I saying? Home? This is such a disappointing return. Poor Toad!” Then he turned away from him, sat down at the table, pulled his chair close, and helped himself to a big slice of cold pie.
Toad was quite alarmed at this very serious and portentous style of greeting; but the Rat whispered to him, “Never mind; don’t take any notice; and don’t say anything to him just yet. He’s always rather low and despondent when he’s wanting his victuals. In half an hour’s time he’ll be quite a different animal.”
Toad was really worried by this serious and dramatic way of greeting him; but the Rat whispered, “Don’t worry; just ignore it; and don’t say anything to him for now. He’s always a bit down and moody when he’s hungry. In half an hour, he’ll be a completely different creature.”
So they waited in silence, and presently there came another and a lighter knock. The Rat, with a nod to Toad, went to the door and ushered in the Mole, very shabby and unwashed, with bits of hay and straw sticking in his fur.
So they waited quietly, and soon there was another, softer knock. The Rat, nodding to Toad, went to the door and let in the Mole, who looked quite ragged and dirty, with bits of hay and straw stuck in his fur.
“Hooray! Here’s old Toad!” cried the Mole, his face beaming. “Fancy having you back again!” And he began to dance round him. “We never dreamt you would turn up so soon! Why, you must have managed to escape, you clever, ingenious, intelligent Toad!”
“Hooray! Here’s old Toad!” shouted the Mole, his face full of joy. “What a surprise to have you back!” He started to dance around him. “We never thought you’d show up so soon! Wow, you must have found a way to escape, you clever, resourceful, smart Toad!”
The Rat, alarmed, pulled him by the elbow; but it was too late. Toad was puffing and swelling already.
The Rat, worried, grabbed him by the elbow; but it was too late. Toad was already puffing up and swelling.
“Clever? O, no!” he said. “I’m not really clever, according to my friends. I’ve only broken out of the strongest prison in England, that’s all! And captured a railway train and escaped on it, that’s all! And disguised myself and gone about the country humbugging everybody, that’s all! O, no! I’m a stupid ass, I am! I’ll tell you one or two of my little adventures, Mole, and you shall judge for yourself!”
“Clever? Oh, no!” he said. “I’m not really clever, according to my friends. I’ve just broken out of the strongest prison in England, that’s all! And captured a train and escaped on it, that’s all! And disguised myself and traveled around the country fooling everyone, that’s all! Oh, no! I’m a foolish idiot, I am! I’ll share a couple of my little adventures, Mole, and you can judge for yourself!”
“Well, well,” said the Mole, moving towards the supper-table; “supposing you talk while I eat. Not a bite since breakfast! O my! O my!” And he sat down and helped himself liberally to cold beef and pickles.
"Well, well," said the Mole, moving toward the dinner table; "how about you talk while I eat? I haven't eaten since breakfast! Oh my! Oh my!" And he sat down and served himself generously with cold beef and pickles.
Toad straddled on the hearth-rug, thrust his paw into his trouser-pocket and pulled out a handful of silver. “Look at that!” he cried, displaying it. “That’s not so bad, is it, for a few minutes’ work? And how do you think I done it, Mole? Horse-dealing! That’s how I done it!”
Toad sat on the hearth rug, reached into his trouser pocket, and pulled out a handful of silver. “Look at this!” he exclaimed, showing it off. “Not too shabby, right, for just a few minutes of work? And guess how I did it, Mole? Horse-dealing! That's how I did it!”
“Go on, Toad,” said the Mole, immensely interested.
“Go ahead, Toad,” said the Mole, really curious.
“Toad, do be quiet, please!” said the Rat. “And don’t you egg him on, Mole, when you know what he is; but please tell us as soon as possible what the position is, and what’s best to be done, now that Toad is back at last.”
“Toad, please be quiet!” said the Rat. “And don’t encourage him, Mole, when you know what he’s like; but please let us know as soon as possible what the situation is and what’s best to do now that Toad is finally back.”
“The position’s about as bad as it can be,” replied the Mole grumpily; “and as for what’s to be done, why, blest if I know! The Badger and I have been round and round the place, by night and by day; always the same thing. Sentries posted everywhere, guns poked out at us, stones thrown at us; always an animal on the look-out, and when they see us, my! how they do laugh! That’s what annoys me most!”
“The situation is as bad as it gets,” the Mole replied grumpily. “And as for what to do, I honestly don’t know! The Badger and I have gone around the place, day and night, and it’s always the same. There are sentries everywhere, guns aimed at us, stones thrown our way; there’s always an animal watching, and when they spot us, wow, do they laugh! That’s what irritates me the most!”
“It’s a very difficult situation,” said the Rat, reflecting deeply. “But I think I see now, in the depths of my mind, what Toad really ought to do. I will tell you. He ought to——”
“It’s a really tough situation,” said the Rat, thinking hard. “But I think I finally understand, deep down, what Toad should really do. Let me tell you. He should——”
“No, he oughtn’t!” shouted the Mole, with his mouth full. “Nothing of the sort! You don’t understand. What he ought to do is, he ought to——”
“No, he shouldn't!” shouted the Mole, with his mouth full. “Not at all! You don't get it. What he should do is, he should——”
“Well, I shan’t do it, anyway!” cried Toad, getting excited. “I’m not going to be ordered about by you fellows! It’s my house we’re talking about, and I know exactly what to do, and I’ll tell you. I’m going to——”
“Well, I’m not going to do it, anyway!” Toad shouted, getting worked up. “I’m not going to let you guys boss me around! This is my house we’re talking about, and I know exactly what to do, and I’ll tell you. I’m going to——”
By this time they were all three talking at once, at the top of their voices, and the noise was simply deafening, when a thin, dry voice made itself heard, saying, “Be quiet at once, all of you!” and instantly every one was silent.
At that moment, all three were talking over each other, shouting at the top of their lungs, and the noise was incredibly loud, when a thin, dry voice cut through, saying, “Be quiet right now, all of you!” and immediately everyone fell silent.
It was the Badger, who, having finished his pie, had turned round in his chair and was looking at them severely. When he saw that he had secured their attention, and that they were evidently waiting for him to address them, he turned back to the table again and reached out for the cheese. And so great was the respect commanded by the solid qualities of that admirable animal, that not another word was uttered until he had quite finished his repast and brushed the crumbs from his knees. The Toad fidgeted a good deal, but the Rat held him firmly down.
It was the Badger, who, after finishing his pie, turned in his chair and looked at them sternly. When he saw that he had their attention and they were clearly waiting for him to speak, he turned back to the table and reached for the cheese. The respect commanded by the solid character of that remarkable animal was so great that no one said a word until he had completely finished his meal and brushed the crumbs off his knees. The Toad fidgeted a lot, but the Rat held him down firmly.
When the Badger had quite done, he got up from his seat and stood before the fireplace, reflecting deeply. At last he spoke.
When the Badger was finished, he got up from his seat and stood in front of the fireplace, deep in thought. Finally, he spoke.
“Toad!” he said severely. “You bad, troublesome little animal! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? What do you think your father, my old friend, would have said if he had been here to-night, and had known of all your goings on?”
“Toad!” he said sternly. “You naughty, troublesome little creature! Aren’t you embarrassed? What do you think your father, my old friend, would have said if he had been here tonight and knew about all your antics?”
Toad, who was on the sofa by this time, with his legs up, rolled over on his face, shaken by sobs of contrition.
Toad, who was now on the sofa with his legs up, rolled over onto his face, shaken by sobs of regret.
“There, there!” went on the Badger, more kindly. “Never mind. Stop crying. We’re going to let bygones be bygones, and try and turn over a new leaf. But what the Mole says is quite true. The stoats are on guard, at every point, and they make the best sentinels in the world. It’s quite useless to think of attacking the place. They’re too strong for us.”
“It's okay!” the Badger said gently. “Don’t worry. Stop crying. We’re going to put the past behind us and start fresh. But what Mole is saying is true. The stoats are watching us from every angle, and they’re the best guards out there. It’s pointless to think about attacking the place. They’re just too strong for us.”
“Then it’s all over,” sobbed the Toad, crying into the sofa cushions. “I shall go and enlist for a soldier, and never see my dear Toad Hall any more!”
“Then it’s all over,” cried the Toad, weeping into the sofa cushions. “I will go and sign up to be a soldier and never see my beloved Toad Hall again!”
“Come, cheer up, Toady!” said the Badger. “There are more ways of getting back a place than taking it by storm. I haven’t said my last word yet. Now I’m going to tell you a great secret.”
“Come on, cheer up, Toady!” said the Badger. “There are more ways to get a place back than just storming in. I haven’t said my final piece yet. Now I’m going to share a big secret with you.”
Toad sat up slowly and dried his eyes. Secrets had an immense attraction for him, because he never could keep one, and he enjoyed the sort of unhallowed thrill he experienced when he went and told another animal, after having faithfully promised not to.
Toad sat up slowly and wiped his eyes. Secrets had a huge appeal for him because he could never keep one, and he loved the kind of forbidden excitement he felt when he went and told another animal after having promised not to.
“There—is—an—underground—passage,” said the Badger, impressively, “that leads from the river-bank, quite near here, right up into the middle of Toad Hall.”
“There’s an underground passage,” said the Badger, impressively, “that goes from the riverbank, not far from here, straight into the middle of Toad Hall.”
“O, nonsense! Badger,” said Toad, rather airily. “You’ve been listening to some of the yarns they spin in the public-houses about here. I know every inch of Toad Hall, inside and out. Nothing of the sort, I do assure you!”
“O, nonsense! Badger,” said Toad, a bit dismissively. “You’ve been listening to some of the stories they tell in the pubs around here. I know every corner of Toad Hall, inside and out. I assure you, there’s nothing like that!”
“My young friend,” said the Badger, with great severity, “your father, who was a worthy animal—a lot worthier than some others I know—was a particular friend of mine, and told me a great deal he wouldn’t have dreamt of telling you. He discovered that passage—he didn’t make it, of course; that was done hundreds of years before he ever came to live there—and he repaired it and cleaned it out, because he thought it might come in useful some day, in case of trouble or danger; and he showed it to me. ‘Don’t let my son know about it,’ he said. ‘He’s a good boy, but very light and volatile in character, and simply cannot hold his tongue. If he’s ever in a real fix, and it would be of use to him, you may tell him about the secret passage; but not before.’”
“My young friend,” said the Badger sternly, “your father, who was a good creature—much better than some others I know—was a close friend of mine and shared a lot with me that he wouldn’t have dreamed of telling you. He found that passage—he didn’t create it, of course; it was made hundreds of years before he ever lived there—and he fixed it up and cleared it out because he thought it might be useful someday in case of trouble or danger; and he showed it to me. ‘Don’t let my son know about it,’ he said. ‘He’s a good boy, but very impulsive and can’t keep a secret. If he’s ever in real trouble and it would help him, you can tell him about the secret passage; but not before.’”
The other animals looked hard at Toad to see how he would take it. Toad was inclined to be sulky at first; but he brightened up immediately, like the good fellow he was.
The other animals watched Toad closely to see how he would react. Toad was a bit grumpy at first, but then he cheered up right away, just like the great guy he was.
“Well, well,” he said; “perhaps I am a bit of a talker. A popular fellow such as I am—my friends get round me—we chaff, we sparkle, we tell witty stories—and somehow my tongue gets wagging. I have the gift of conversation. I’ve been told I ought to have a salon, whatever that may be. Never mind. Go on, Badger. How’s this passage of yours going to help us?”
“Well, well,” he said. “Maybe I am a bit of a chatterbox. A popular guy like me—my friends gather around, we joke, we shine, we share funny stories—and somehow I can’t stop talking. I’ve got the gift of gab. People say I should have a salon, whatever that is. Anyway, go ahead, Badger. How’s this passage of yours going to help us?”
“I’ve found out a thing or two lately,” continued the Badger. “I got Otter to disguise himself as a sweep and call at the back-door with brushes over his shoulder, asking for a job. There’s going to be a big banquet to-morrow night. It’s somebody’s birthday—the Chief Weasel’s, I believe—and all the weasels will be gathered together in the dining-hall, eating and drinking and laughing and carrying on, suspecting nothing. No guns, no swords, no sticks, no arms of any sort whatever!”
“I’ve discovered a thing or two recently,” the Badger continued. “I convinced Otter to dress up as a chimney sweep and knock on the back door with brushes over his shoulder, asking for a job. There’s a big banquet tomorrow night. It’s someone’s birthday—the Chief Weasel’s, I think—and all the weasels will be in the dining hall, eating, drinking, laughing, and having a good time, completely unsuspecting. No guns, no swords, no sticks, no weapons of any kind!”
“But the sentinels will be posted as usual,” remarked the Rat.
“But the guards will be posted as usual,” said the Rat.
“Exactly,” said the Badger; “that is my point. The weasels will trust entirely to their excellent sentinels. And that is where the passage comes in. That very useful tunnel leads right up under the butler’s pantry, next to the dining-hall!”
“Exactly,” said the Badger; “that’s my point. The weasels will rely completely on their great lookout system. And that's where the passage is useful. That handy tunnel goes straight up under the butler’s pantry, right next to the dining hall!”
“Aha! that squeaky board in the butler’s pantry!” said Toad. “Now I understand it!”
“Aha! That squeaky board in the butler’s pantry!” said Toad. “Now I get it!”
“We shall creep out quietly into the butler’s pantry—” cried the Mole.
“We'll sneak out quietly into the butler’s pantry—” cried the Mole.
“—with our pistols and swords and sticks—” shouted the Rat.
“—with our guns and swords and clubs—” shouted the Rat.
“—and rush in upon them,” said the Badger.
“—and rush in on them,” said the Badger.
“—and whack ’em, and whack ’em, and whack ’em!” cried the Toad in ecstasy, running round and round the room, and jumping over the chairs.
“—and hit them, and hit them, and hit them!” yelled the Toad in excitement, running around the room and jumping over the chairs.
“Very well, then,” said the Badger, resuming his usual dry manner, “our plan is settled, and there’s nothing more for you to argue and squabble about. So, as it’s getting very late, all of you go right off to bed at once. We will make all the necessary arrangements in the course of the morning to-morrow.”
“Alright, then,” said the Badger, going back to his usual no-nonsense tone, “our plan is set, and there’s no more for you to debate and fuss over. So, since it’s getting quite late, all of you should head off to bed immediately. We’ll take care of all the necessary arrangements in the morning.”
Toad, of course, went off to bed dutifully with the rest—he knew better than to refuse—though he was feeling much too excited to sleep. But he had had a long day, with many events crowded into it; and sheets and blankets were very friendly and comforting things, after plain straw, and not too much of it, spread on the stone floor of a draughty cell; and his head had not been many seconds on his pillow before he was snoring happily. Naturally, he dreamt a good deal; about roads that ran away from him just when he wanted them, and canals that chased him and caught him, and a barge that sailed into the banqueting-hall with his week’s washing, just as he was giving a dinner-party; and he was alone in the secret passage, pushing onwards, but it twisted and turned round and shook itself, and sat up on its end; yet somehow, at the last, he found himself back in Toad Hall, safe and triumphant, with all his friends gathered round about him, earnestly assuring him that he really was a clever Toad.
Toad, of course, went off to bed with the others—he knew better than to resist—though he was way too excited to sleep. But he had a long day packed with events; and sheets and blankets felt really cozy and comforting compared to the thin straw on the cold stone floor of a drafty cell; and it wasn’t long before his head hit the pillow and he was happily snoring. Naturally, he had quite a few dreams; about roads that disappeared just when he needed them, and canals that chased him down and caught him, and a barge that floated into the dining hall with his week’s laundry right as he was hosting a dinner party; and he found himself alone in a secret passage, pushing forward, but it twisted and turned and shook itself, and stood up on its end; yet somehow, in the end, he found himself back in Toad Hall, safe and victorious, with all his friends gathered around him, earnestly assuring him that he really was a clever Toad.
He slept till a late hour next morning, and by the time he got down he found that the other animals had finished their breakfast some time before. The Mole had slipped off somewhere by himself, without telling any one where he was going to. The Badger sat in the arm-chair, reading the paper, and not concerning himself in the slightest about what was going to happen that very evening. The Rat, on the other hand, was running round the room busily, with his arms full of weapons of every kind, distributing them in four little heaps on the floor, and saying excitedly under his breath, as he ran, “Here’s-a-sword-for-the-Rat, here’s-a-sword-for-the Mole, here’s-a-sword-for-the-Toad, here’s-a-sword-for-the-Badger! Here’s-a-pistol-for-the-Rat, here’s-a-pistol-for-the-Mole, here’s-a-pistol-for-the-Toad, here’s-a-pistol-for-the-Badger!” And so on, in a regular, rhythmical way, while the four little heaps gradually grew and grew.
He slept in late the next morning, and by the time he got downstairs, he found that the other animals had already finished their breakfast. The Mole had quietly gone off somewhere by himself without telling anyone where he was headed. The Badger was sitting in an armchair, reading the paper, completely uninterested in what was going to happen that evening. The Rat, on the other hand, was running around the room busily, arms full of all kinds of weapons, spreading them into four little piles on the floor, and excitedly mumbling to himself as he went, “Here’s a sword for the Rat, here’s a sword for the Mole, here’s a sword for the Toad, here’s a sword for the Badger! Here’s a pistol for the Rat, here’s a pistol for the Mole, here’s a pistol for the Toad, here’s a pistol for the Badger!” And so on, in a steady, rhythmic way, as the four little piles kept growing larger and larger.
“That’s all very well, Rat,” said the Badger presently, looking at the busy little animal over the edge of his newspaper; “I’m not blaming you. But just let us once get past the stoats, with those detestable guns of theirs, and I assure you we shan’t want any swords or pistols. We four, with our sticks, once we’re inside the dining-hall, why, we shall clear the floor of all the lot of them in five minutes. I’d have done the whole thing by myself, only I didn’t want to deprive you fellows of the fun!”
"That’s all well and good, Rat," said the Badger after a moment, peering at the busy little animal over his newspaper; "I’m not blaming you. But let’s just get past the stoats and their annoying guns, and I promise we won’t need any swords or pistols. The four of us, with our sticks, once we’re inside the dining hall, we’ll clear the place of all of them in five minutes. I would’ve handled the whole thing myself, but I didn’t want to take the fun away from you guys!"
“It’s as well to be on the safe side,” said the Rat reflectively, polishing a pistol-barrel on his sleeve and looking along it.
“It’s better to be safe,” the Rat said thoughtfully, cleaning a pistol barrel on his sleeve and looking down its length.
The Toad, having finished his breakfast, picked up a stout stick and swung it vigorously, belabouring imaginary animals. “I’ll learn ’em to steal my house!” he cried. “I’ll learn ’em, I’ll learn ’em!”
The Toad, having finished his breakfast, picked up a thick stick and swung it vigorously, hitting imaginary animals. “I’ll show them for trying to take my house!” he shouted. “I’ll teach them, I’ll teach them!”
“Don’t say ‘learn ’em,’ Toad,” said the Rat, greatly shocked. “It’s not good English.”
“Don’t say ‘learn ’em,’ Toad,” the Rat said, very shocked. “That’s not proper English.”
“What are you always nagging at Toad for?” inquired the Badger, rather peevishly. “What’s the matter with his English? It’s the same what I use myself, and if it’s good enough for me, it ought to be good enough for you!”
“What are you always nagging Toad about?” the Badger asked, a bit irritably. “What’s wrong with his English? It’s the same as what I use, and if it’s good enough for me, it should be good enough for you!”
“I’m very sorry,” said the Rat humbly. “Only I think it ought to be ‘teach ’em,’ not ‘learn ’em.’”
“I’m really sorry,” said the Rat humbly. “I just think it should be ‘teach ’em,’ not ‘learn ’em.’”
“But we don’t want to teach ’em,” replied the Badger. “We want to learn ’em—learn ’em, learn ’em! And what’s more, we’re going to do it, too!”
“But we don’t want to teach them,” replied the Badger. “We want to learn them—learn them, learn them! And what’s more, we’re going to do it, too!”
“Oh, very well, have it your own way,” said the Rat. He was getting rather muddled about it himself, and presently he retired into a corner, where he could be heard muttering, “Learn ’em, teach ’em, teach ’em, learn ’em!” till the Badger told him rather sharply to leave off.
“Oh, fine, do it your way,” said the Rat. He was getting pretty confused about it himself, and soon he moved into a corner, where he could be heard mumbling, “Teach them, learn them, learn them, teach them!” until the Badger told him rather sternly to stop.
Presently the Mole came tumbling into the room, evidently very pleased with himself. “I’ve been having such fun!” he began at once; “I’ve been getting a rise out of the stoats!”
Presently, the Mole came tumbling into the room, clearly very pleased with himself. “I’ve been having so much fun!” he started right away; “I’ve been teasing the stoats!”
“I hope you’ve been very careful, Mole?” said the Rat anxiously.
“I hope you’ve been really careful, Mole?” said the Rat nervously.
“I should hope so, too,” said the Mole confidently. “I got the idea when I went into the kitchen, to see about Toad’s breakfast being kept hot for him. I found that old washerwoman-dress that he came home in yesterday, hanging on a towel-horse before the fire. So I put it on, and the bonnet as well, and the shawl, and off I went to Toad Hall, as bold as you please. The sentries were on the look-out, of course, with their guns and their ‘Who comes there?’ and all the rest of their nonsense. ‘Good morning, gentlemen!’ says I, very respectful. ‘Want any washing done to-day?’
“I certainly hope so,” said the Mole confidently. “I came up with the idea when I went into the kitchen to check on Toad’s breakfast being kept warm for him. I found that old dress of the washerwoman’s that he came home in yesterday, hanging on a towel rack by the fire. So I put it on, along with the bonnet and the shawl, and off I went to Toad Hall, as bold as can be. The guards were on the lookout, of course, with their guns and their ‘Who goes there?’ and all their other nonsense. ‘Good morning, gentlemen!’ I said, very politely. ‘Need any laundry done today?’”
“They looked at me very proud and stiff and haughty, and said, ‘Go away, washerwoman! We don’t do any washing on duty.’ ‘Or any other time?’ says I. Ho, ho, ho! Wasn’t I funny, Toad?”
“They looked at me very proud and stiff and haughty, and said, ‘Go away, washerwoman! We don’t do any washing on duty.’ ‘Or any other time?’ I said. Ho, ho, ho! Wasn’t I funny, Toad?”
“Poor, frivolous animal!” said Toad, very loftily. The fact is, he felt exceedingly jealous of Mole for what he had just done. It was exactly what he would have liked to have done himself, if only he had thought of it first, and hadn’t gone and overslept himself.
“Poor, silly animal!” said Toad, quite arrogantly. The truth is, he felt really jealous of Mole for what he had just done. It was exactly what he would have loved to do himself, if only he had thought of it first and hadn’t overslept.
“Some of the stoats turned quite pink,” continued the Mole, “and the Sergeant in charge, he said to me, very short, he said, ‘Now run away, my good woman, run away! Don’t keep my men idling and talking on their posts.’ ‘Run away?’ says I; ‘it won’t be me that’ll be running away, in a very short time from now!’”
“Some of the stoats turned really pink,” the Mole continued, “and the Sergeant in charge said to me, quite abruptly, ‘Now run along, my good woman, run along! Don’t have my men wasting time and chatting while they’re on duty.’ ‘Run along?’ I said; ‘it won’t be me who’s running away, very soon!’”
“O Moly, how could you?” said the Rat, dismayed.
“oh Moly, how could you?” said the Rat, dismayed.
The Badger laid down his paper.
The Badger set down his newspaper.
“I could see them pricking up their ears and looking at each other,” went on the Mole; “and the Sergeant said to them, ‘Never mind her; she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.’”
“I could see them perking up their ears and looking at each other,” continued the Mole; “and the Sergeant said to them, ‘Never mind her; she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.’”
“‘O! don’t I?’” said I. “‘Well, let me tell you this. My daughter, she washes for Mr. Badger, and that’ll show you whether I know what I’m talking about; and you’ll know pretty soon, too! A hundred bloodthirsty badgers, armed with rifles, are going to attack Toad Hall this very night, by way of the paddock. Six boatloads of Rats, with pistols and cutlasses, will come up the river and effect a landing in the garden; while a picked body of Toads, known at the Die-hards, or the Death-or-Glory Toads, will storm the orchard and carry everything before them, yelling for vengeance. There won’t be much left of you to wash, by the time they’ve done with you, unless you clear out while you have the chance!’ Then I ran away, and when I was out of sight I hid; and presently I came creeping back along the ditch and took a peep at them through the hedge. They were all as nervous and flustered as could be, running all ways at once, and falling over each other, and every one giving orders to everybody else and not listening; and the Sergeant kept sending off parties of stoats to distant parts of the grounds, and then sending other fellows to fetch ’em back again; and I heard them saying to each other, ‘That’s just like the weasels; they’re to stop comfortably in the banqueting-hall, and have feasting and toasts and songs and all sorts of fun, while we must stay on guard in the cold and the dark, and in the end be cut to pieces by bloodthirsty Badgers!”’
“‘Oh, don’t I?’” I said. “‘Well, let me tell you this. My daughter washes for Mr. Badger, and that should show you whether I know what I’m talking about; and you’ll find out pretty soon, too! A hundred bloodthirsty badgers, armed with rifles, will attack Toad Hall tonight, through the paddock. Six boatloads of rats with pistols and cutlasses are coming up the river to land in the garden; while a special group of toads, known as the Die-hards or the Death-or-Glory Toads, will storm the orchard and take everything in their path, shouting for revenge. There won't be much left of you to wash by the time they're done, unless you get out while you still can!’ Then I ran away, and when I was out of sight, I hid; and soon I crept back along the ditch and peeked at them through the hedge. They were all as nervous and flustered as could be, running in every direction, tripping over each other, everyone giving orders to everyone else and not listening; and the Sergeant kept sending groups of stoats to distant areas of the grounds, then sending others to fetch them back again; and I heard them saying to each other, ‘That’s just like the weasels; they get to stay comfortably in the banqueting hall, feasting and toasting and singing and having all sorts of fun, while we have to stay on guard in the cold and the dark, and in the end, be cut to pieces by bloodthirsty badgers!’”
“Oh, you silly ass, Mole!” cried Toad, “You’ve been and spoilt everything!”
“Oh, you silly Mole!” shouted Toad. “You’ve messed everything up!”
“Mole,” said the Badger, in his dry, quiet way, “I perceive you have more sense in your little finger than some other animals have in the whole of their fat bodies. You have managed excellently, and I begin to have great hopes of you. Good Mole! Clever Mole!”
“Mole,” said the Badger, in his calm, understated manner, “I can see you have more sense in your little finger than some other animals have in their entire bulky bodies. You've done an excellent job, and I’m starting to have high hopes for you. Good Mole! Smart Mole!”
The Toad was simply wild with jealousy, more especially as he couldn’t make out for the life of him what the Mole had done that was so particularly clever; but, fortunately for him, before he could show temper or expose himself to the Badger’s sarcasm, the bell rang for luncheon.
The Toad was totally consumed by jealousy, especially since he couldn’t figure out for the life of him what the Mole had done that was so impressive; but luckily for him, before he could lose his cool or open himself up to the Badger’s teasing, the bell rang for lunch.
It was a simple but sustaining meal—bacon and broad beans, and a macaroni pudding; and when they had quite done, the Badger settled himself into an arm-chair, and said, “Well, we’ve got our work cut out for us to-night, and it will probably be pretty late before we’re quite through with it; so I’m just going to take forty winks, while I can.” And he drew a handkerchief over his face and was soon snoring.
It was a straightforward but satisfying meal—bacon and broad beans, and a macaroni pudding; and when they finished, the Badger settled into an armchair and said, “Well, we’ve got a lot to do tonight, and it’ll probably be pretty late before we’re done; so I’m just going to take a quick nap while I can.” He pulled a handkerchief over his face and was soon snoring.
The anxious and laborious Rat at once resumed his preparations, and started running between his four little heaps, muttering, “Here’s-a-belt-for-the-Rat, here’s-a-belt-for-the-Mole, here’s-a-belt-for-the-Toad, here’s-a-belt-for-the-Badger!” and so on, with every fresh accoutrement he produced, to which there seemed really no end; so the Mole drew his arm through Toad’s, led him out into the open air, shoved him into a wicker chair, and made him tell him all his adventures from beginning to end, which Toad was only too willing to do. The Mole was a good listener, and Toad, with no one to check his statements or to criticise in an unfriendly spirit, rather let himself go. Indeed, much that he related belonged more properly to the category of what-might-have-happened-had-I-only-thought-of-it-in-time-instead-of ten-minutes-afterwards. Those are always the best and the raciest adventures; and why should they not be truly ours, as much as the somewhat inadequate things that really come off?
The anxious and hardworking Rat quickly got back to his preparations, running between his four little piles and mumbling, “Here’s a belt for the Rat, here’s a belt for the Mole, here’s a belt for the Toad, here’s a belt for the Badger!” and so on, with every new accessory he found, which seemed to have no end. So, the Mole linked his arm with Toad’s, led him outside, pushed him into a wicker chair, and made him share all his adventures from start to finish, which Toad was more than happy to do. The Mole was a great listener, and with no one to challenge his stories or criticize him negatively, Toad really opened up. In fact, much of what he talked about was more in line with what-might-have-happened-if-I-had-only-thought-of-it-sooner-instead-of-ten-minutes-later. Those are always the most exciting and colorful adventures. Why shouldn't they be just as much ours as the more modest things that actually happen?
XII.
THE RETURN OF ULYSSES
When it began to grow dark, the Rat, with an air of excitement and mystery, summoned them back into the parlour, stood each of them up alongside of his little heap, and proceeded to dress them up for the coming expedition. He was very earnest and thoroughgoing about it, and the affair took quite a long time. First, there was a belt to go round each animal, and then a sword to be stuck into each belt, and then a cutlass on the other side to balance it. Then a pair of pistols, a policeman’s truncheon, several sets of handcuffs, some bandages and sticking-plaster, and a flask and a sandwich-case. The Badger laughed good-humouredly and said, “All right, Ratty! It amuses you and it doesn’t hurt me. I’m going to do all I’ve got to do with this here stick.” But the Rat only said, “please, Badger. You know I shouldn’t like you to blame me afterwards and say I had forgotten anything!”
As it started to get dark, the Rat, full of excitement and mystery, called everyone back into the parlor, lined them up next to his small pile of gear, and began to get them ready for the upcoming adventure. He was very serious and thorough about it, and it took quite a while. First, he put a belt around each animal, then added a sword to each belt, and a cutlass on the other side for balance. Then came a pair of pistols, a policeman’s baton, several sets of handcuffs, some bandages and adhesive tape, along with a flask and a lunchbox. The Badger laughed good-naturedly and said, “Alright, Ratty! This makes you happy, and it doesn’t bother me. I’ll just take care of everything with this stick.” But the Rat replied, “please, Badger. You know I wouldn’t want you to blame me later and say I forgot anything!”
When all was quite ready, the Badger took a dark lantern in one paw, grasped his great stick with the other, and said, “Now then, follow me! Mole first, “cos I’m very pleased with him; Rat next; Toad last. And look here, Toady! Don’t you chatter so much as usual, or you’ll be sent back, as sure as fate!”
When everything was ready, the Badger grabbed a dark lantern in one paw and his big stick in the other, and said, “Alright, follow me! Mole first because I’m really pleased with him; Rat next; Toad last. And listen here, Toad! Don’t talk so much as usual, or I’ll send you back, I swear!”
The Toad was so anxious not to be left out that he took up the inferior position assigned to him without a murmur, and the animals set off. The Badger led them along by the river for a little way, and then suddenly swung himself over the edge into a hole in the river-bank, a little above the water. The Mole and the Rat followed silently, swinging themselves successfully into the hole as they had seen the Badger do; but when it came to Toad’s turn, of course he managed to slip and fall into the water with a loud splash and a squeal of alarm. He was hauled out by his friends, rubbed down and wrung out hastily, comforted, and set on his legs; but the Badger was seriously angry, and told him that the very next time he made a fool of himself he would most certainly be left behind.
The Toad was so eager not to be left out that he accepted his less-than-glamorous spot without complaining, and the animals began their journey. The Badger led them along the river for a bit, then suddenly jumped over the edge into a hole in the riverbank, just above the water. The Mole and the Rat followed quietly, successfully jumping into the hole like the Badger had. But when it was Toad's turn, he slipped and fell into the water with a loud splash and a startled squeal. His friends pulled him out, quickly dried him off, comforted him, and put him back on his feet; however, the Badger was really mad and warned him that the next time he acted foolishly, he would definitely be left behind.
So at last they were in the secret passage, and the cutting-out expedition had really begun!
So finally, they were in the hidden passage, and the mission to take action had truly started!
It was cold, and dark, and damp, and low, and narrow, and poor Toad began to shiver, partly from dread of what might be before him, partly because he was wet through. The lantern was far ahead, and he could not help lagging behind a little in the darkness. Then he heard the Rat call out warningly, “Come on, Toad!” and a terror seized him of being left behind, alone in the darkness, and he “came on” with such a rush that he upset the Rat into the Mole and the Mole into the Badger, and for a moment all was confusion. The Badger thought they were being attacked from behind, and, as there was no room to use a stick or a cutlass, drew a pistol, and was on the point of putting a bullet into Toad. When he found out what had really happened he was very angry indeed, and said, “Now this time that tiresome Toad shall be left behind!”
It was cold, dark, damp, low, and narrow, and poor Toad started to shiver, partly from fear of what lay ahead and partly because he was soaked through. The lantern was far ahead, and he couldn't help but fall a bit behind in the darkness. Then he heard Rat call out warningly, “Come on, Toad!” and a panic gripped him at the thought of being left behind, alone in the dark, so he rushed forward, accidentally knocking Rat into Mole and Mole into Badger, creating a moment of chaos. Badger thought they were being attacked from behind, and since there was no room to use a stick or sword, he pulled out a pistol and was just about to shoot Toad. When he realized what had actually happened, he was extremely angry and said, “Now this time that annoying Toad will be left behind!”
But Toad whimpered, and the other two promised that they would be answerable for his good conduct, and at last the Badger was pacified, and the procession moved on; only this time the Rat brought up the rear, with a firm grip on the shoulder of Toad.
But Toad whined, and the other two assured him that they would take responsibility for his behavior, and finally, the Badger calmed down, and the group continued on; this time, the Rat stayed at the back, firmly holding onto Toad’s shoulder.
So they groped and shuffled along, with their ears pricked up and their paws on their pistols, till at last the Badger said, “We ought by now to be pretty nearly under the Hall.”
So they fumbled and moved along, with their ears alert and their hands on their guns, until finally the Badger said, “We should be just about underneath the Hall by now.”
Then suddenly they heard, far away as it might be, and yet apparently nearly over their heads, a confused murmur of sound, as if people were shouting and cheering and stamping on the floor and hammering on tables. The Toad’s nervous terrors all returned, but the Badger only remarked placidly, “They are going it, the Weasels!”
Then suddenly they heard, even though it was far away, and yet somehow almost right above them, a chaotic murmur of noise, as if people were shouting, cheering, stamping on the floor, and banging on tables. The Toad's nervous fears all came rushing back, but the Badger just calmly said, “They are going for it, the Weasels!”
The passage now began to slope upwards; they groped onward a little further, and then the noise broke out again, quite distinct this time, and very close above them. “Ooo-ray-ooray-oo-ray-ooray!” they heard, and the stamping of little feet on the floor, and the clinking of glasses as little fists pounded on the table. “What a time they’re having!” said the Badger. “Come on!” They hurried along the passage till it came to a full stop, and they found themselves standing under the trap-door that led up into the butler’s pantry.
The hallway now started to slope upward; they pushed forward a bit more, and then the noise erupted again, clearly this time, and very close above them. “Ooo-ray-ooray-oo-ray-ooray!” they heard, along with the sound of little feet thumping on the floor and the clinking of glasses as small fists pounded on the table. “What a time they’re having!” said the Badger. “Come on!” They rushed down the hallway until it came to a stop, and they found themselves standing under the trapdoor that led up into the butler’s pantry.
Such a tremendous noise was going on in the banqueting-hall that there was little danger of their being overheard. The Badger said, “Now, boys, all together!” and the four of them put their shoulders to the trap-door and heaved it back. Hoisting each other up, they found themselves standing in the pantry, with only a door between them and the banqueting-hall, where their unconscious enemies were carousing.
The noise in the banquet hall was so loud that they were unlikely to be heard. The Badger said, “Alright, guys, on three!” and the four of them pushed against the trap door and slid it open. Helping each other up, they found themselves in the pantry, with just a door separating them from the banquet hall, where their unaware foes were partying.
The noise, as they emerged from the passage, was simply deafening. At last, as the cheering and hammering slowly subsided, a voice could be made out saying, “Well, I do not propose to detain you much longer”—(great applause)—“but before I resume my seat”—(renewed cheering)—“I should like to say one word about our kind host, Mr. Toad. We all know Toad!”—(great laughter)—“Good Toad, modest Toad, honest Toad!” (shrieks of merriment).
The noise as they stepped out of the hallway was absolutely overwhelming. Finally, as the cheers and clapping gradually died down, a voice could be heard saying, “Well, I don’t want to keep you much longer”—(huge applause)—“but before I take my seat again”—(more cheering)—“I want to say a word about our generous host, Mr. Toad. We all know Toad!”—(lots of laughter)—“Good Toad, modest Toad, honest Toad!” (bursts of laughter).
“Only just let me get at him!” muttered Toad, grinding his teeth.
“Just let me get to him!” Toad muttered, grinding his teeth.
“Hold hard a minute!” said the Badger, restraining him with difficulty. “Get ready, all of you!”
“Wait a minute!” said the Badger, holding him back with some effort. “Get ready, everyone!”
“—Let me sing you a little song,” went on the voice, “which I have composed on the subject of Toad”—(prolonged applause).
“—Let me sing you a little song,” continued the voice, “that I wrote about Toad”—(long applause).
Then the Chief Weasel—for it was he—began in a high, squeaky voice—
Then the Chief Weasel—for it was him—started speaking in a high, squeaky voice—
“Toad he went a-pleasuring
Gaily down the street—”
“Toad went out having fun
Happily down the street—”
The Badger drew himself up, took a firm grip of his stick with both paws, glanced round at his comrades, and cried—
The Badger stood tall, tightened his grip on his stick with both paws, looked around at his friends, and shouted—
“The hour is come! Follow me!”
“The time has come! Follow me!”
And flung the door open wide.
And threw the door open wide.
My!
Wow!
What a squealing and a squeaking and a screeching filled the air!
What a squealing, squeaking, and screeching filled the air!
Well might the terrified weasels dive under the tables and spring madly up at the windows! Well might the ferrets rush wildly for the fireplace and get hopelessly jammed in the chimney! Well might tables and chairs be upset, and glass and china be sent crashing on the floor, in the panic of that terrible moment when the four Heroes strode wrathfully into the room! The mighty Badger, his whiskers bristling, his great cudgel whistling through the air; Mole, black and grim, brandishing his stick and shouting his awful war-cry, “A Mole! A Mole!” Rat; desperate and determined, his belt bulging with weapons of every age and every variety; Toad, frenzied with excitement and injured pride, swollen to twice his ordinary size, leaping into the air and emitting Toad-whoops that chilled them to the marrow! “Toad he went a-pleasuring!” he yelled. “I’ll pleasure ’em!” and he went straight for the Chief Weasel. They were but four in all, but to the panic-stricken weasels the hall seemed full of monstrous animals, grey, black, brown and yellow, whooping and flourishing enormous cudgels; and they broke and fled with squeals of terror and dismay, this way and that, through the windows, up the chimney, anywhere to get out of reach of those terrible sticks.
The terrified weasels dove under the tables and frantically jumped at the windows! The ferrets rushed wildly toward the fireplace, getting hopelessly stuck in the chimney! Tables and chairs tipped over, and glass and china crashed to the floor in the panic of that awful moment when the four Heroes strode angrily into the room! The great Badger, his whiskers bristling, his huge cudgel slicing through the air; Mole, grim and dark, swinging his stick and shouting his fierce war cry, “A Mole! A Mole!” Rat, desperate and determined, his belt overflowing with weapons of all shapes and sizes; and Toad, frenzied with excitement and hurt pride, puffed up to twice his normal size, leaped into the air, letting out Toad-whoops that sent chills down their spines! “Toad went a-pleasuring!” he yelled. “I’ll pleasure ’em!” and he charged straight at the Chief Weasel. They were just four in total, but to the panicked weasels, the hall seemed filled with enormous creatures—grey, black, brown, and yellow—whooping and waving huge cudgels; and they scattered and fled with terrified squeals, scrambling through the windows, up the chimney, anywhere to escape from those fearsome sticks.
The affair was soon over. Up and down, the whole length of the hall, strode the four Friends, whacking with their sticks at every head that showed itself; and in five minutes the room was cleared. Through the broken windows the shrieks of terrified weasels escaping across the lawn were borne faintly to their ears; on the floor lay prostrate some dozen or so of the enemy, on whom the Mole was busily engaged in fitting handcuffs. The Badger, resting from his labours, leant on his stick and wiped his honest brow.
The whole thing was quickly wrapped up. The four Friends marched up and down the hall, swatting at every head that popped up; within five minutes, the room was clear. Through the broken windows, they could faintly hear the screams of terrified weasels fleeing across the lawn. On the floor lay about a dozen of the enemies, and the Mole was busy putting handcuffs on them. The Badger, taking a break, leaned on his stick and wiped his sweaty brow.
“Mole,” he said,” “you’re the best of fellows! Just cut along outside and look after those stoat-sentries of yours, and see what they’re doing. I’ve an idea that, thanks to you, we shan’t have much trouble from them to-night!”
“Mole,” he said, “you’re the best! Just head outside and check on those stoat guards of yours, and see what they’re up to. I have a feeling that, thanks to you, we won’t have much trouble from them tonight!”
The Mole vanished promptly through a window; and the Badger bade the other two set a table on its legs again, pick up knives and forks and plates and glasses from the débris on the floor, and see if they could find materials for a supper. “I want some grub, I do,” he said, in that rather common way he had of speaking. “Stir your stumps, Toad, and look lively! We’ve got your house back for you, and you don’t offer us so much as a sandwich.” Toad felt rather hurt that the Badger didn’t say pleasant things to him, as he had to the Mole, and tell him what a fine fellow he was, and how splendidly he had fought; for he was rather particularly pleased with himself and the way he had gone for the Chief Weasel and sent him flying across the table with one blow of his stick. But he bustled about, and so did the Rat, and soon they found some guava jelly in a glass dish, and a cold chicken, a tongue that had hardly been touched, some trifle, and quite a lot of lobster salad; and in the pantry they came upon a basketful of French rolls and any quantity of cheese, butter, and celery. They were just about to sit down when the Mole clambered in through the window, chuckling, with an armful of rifles.
The Mole quickly slipped through a window, and the Badger told the other two to set the table up again, pick up knives, forks, plates, and glasses from the mess on the floor, and see if they could find food for dinner. “I want some food, I do,” he said in his usual rough tone. “Hurry up, Toad, and get moving! We got your house back for you, and you don’t even offer us a sandwich.” Toad felt a bit offended that the Badger didn’t say nice things to him like he had to the Mole, or tell him how great he was and how impressively he had fought; he was quite proud of himself for dealing with the Chief Weasel and sending him flying across the table with one hit from his stick. But he got busy, and so did the Rat, and soon they found some guava jelly in a glass dish, a cold chicken, a tongue that hadn’t been touched much, some trifle, and a lot of lobster salad; and in the pantry, they discovered a basketful of French rolls and plenty of cheese, butter, and celery. They were just about to sit down when the Mole climbed in through the window, chuckling and carrying a pile of rifles.
“It’s all over,” he reported. “From what I can make out, as soon as the stoats, who were very nervous and jumpy already, heard the shrieks and the yells and the uproar inside the hall, some of them threw down their rifles and fled. The others stood fast for a bit, but when the weasels came rushing out upon them they thought they were betrayed; and the stoats grappled with the weasels, and the weasels fought to get away, and they wrestled and wriggled and punched each other, and rolled over and over, till most of ’em rolled into the river! They’ve all disappeared by now, one way or another; and I’ve got their rifles. So that’s all right!”
“It’s all over,” he said. “From what I can tell, as soon as the stoats, who were already pretty nervous and jumpy, heard the screams and chaos inside the hall, some of them dropped their rifles and ran away. The others held their ground for a bit, but when the weasels came rushing out at them, they thought they’d been betrayed; and the stoats started fighting with the weasels, and the weasels tried to escape, and they struggled and twisted and hit each other, rolling all over the place until most of them ended up in the river! They’ve all vanished now, one way or another; and I’ve got their rifles. So that’s all good!”
“Excellent and deserving animal!” said the Badger, his mouth full of chicken and trifle. “Now, there’s just one more thing I want you to do, Mole, before you sit down to your supper along of us; and I wouldn’t trouble you only I know I can trust you to see a thing done, and I wish I could say the same of every one I know. I’d send Rat, if he wasn’t a poet. I want you to take those fellows on the floor there upstairs with you, and have some bedrooms cleaned out and tidied up and made really comfortable. See that they sweep under the beds, and put clean sheets and pillow-cases on, and turn down one corner of the bed-clothes, just as you know it ought to be done; and have a can of hot water, and clean towels, and fresh cakes of soap, put in each room. And then you can give them a licking a-piece, if it’s any satisfaction to you, and put them out by the back-door, and we shan’t see any more of them, I fancy. And then come along and have some of this cold tongue. It’s first rate. I’m very pleased with you, Mole!”
“Excellent and deserving animal!” said the Badger, his mouth full of chicken and trifle. “Now, there’s just one more thing I want you to do, Mole, before you sit down to your supper with us; and I wouldn’t trouble you if I didn’t know I could count on you to get things done, and I wish I could say the same about everyone else I know. I’d send Rat, if he wasn’t a poet. I want you to take those guys on the floor up there with you, and get some bedrooms cleaned up and made really comfortable. Make sure they sweep under the beds, put on clean sheets and pillowcases, and turn down one corner of the bedding, just like you know it should be done; and have a can of hot water, clean towels, and fresh bars of soap put in each room. And then you can give them a smack if it makes you feel better, and put them out by the back door, and I doubt we’ll see any more of them. Then come along and have some of this cold tongue. It’s top-notch. I’m really pleased with you, Mole!”
The goodnatured Mole picked up a stick, formed his prisoners up in a line on the floor, gave them the order “Quick march!” and led his squad off to the upper floor. After a time, he appeared again, smiling, and said that every room was ready, and as clean as a new pin. “And I didn’t have to lick them, either,” he added. “I thought, on the whole, they had had licking enough for one night, and the weasels, when I put the point to them, quite agreed with me, and said they wouldn’t think of troubling me. They were very penitent, and said they were extremely sorry for what they had done, but it was all the fault of the Chief Weasel and the stoats, and if ever they could do anything for us at any time to make up, we had only got to mention it. So I gave them a roll a-piece, and let them out at the back, and off they ran, as hard as they could!”
The friendly Mole picked up a stick, lined up his prisoners on the floor, called out “Quick march!” and led his group up to the upper floor. After a while, he came back, smiling, and said that every room was ready and as clean as could be. “And I didn’t even have to clean them myself,” he added. “I figured they had been punished enough for one night, and when I brought it up, the weasels completely agreed with me and said they wouldn’t bother me again. They were really sorry and claimed it was all the Chief Weasel’s and the stoats’ fault, and if there was ever anything they could do to make it up to us, we only had to say the word. So I gave them each a roll and let them out the back, and off they ran as fast as they could!”
Then the Mole pulled his chair up to the table, and pitched into the cold tongue; and Toad, like the gentleman he was, put all his jealousy from him, and said heartily, “Thank you kindly, dear Mole, for all your pains and trouble tonight, and especially for your cleverness this morning!” The Badger was pleased at that, and said, “There spoke my brave Toad!” So they finished their supper in great joy and contentment, and presently retired to rest between clean sheets, safe in Toad’s ancestral home, won back by matchless valour, consummate strategy, and a proper handling of sticks.
Then the Mole pulled his chair up to the table and dug into the cold tongue. Toad, being the gentleman he was, pushed aside all his jealousy and said sincerely, “Thank you so much, dear Mole, for all your efforts tonight, especially for your cleverness this morning!” The Badger was happy to hear that and said, “There spoke my brave Toad!” So they finished their dinner in great joy and satisfaction, and soon went to bed between clean sheets, safe in Toad’s family home, reclaimed through unmatched bravery, brilliant strategy, and a proper handling of sticks.
The following morning, Toad, who had overslept himself as usual, came down to breakfast disgracefully late, and found on the table a certain quantity of egg-shells, some fragments of cold and leathery toast, a coffee-pot three-fourths empty, and really very little else; which did not tend to improve his temper, considering that, after all, it was his own house. Through the French windows of the breakfast-room he could see the Mole and the Water Rat sitting in wicker-chairs out on the lawn, evidently telling each other stories; roaring with laughter and kicking their short legs up in the air. The Badger, who was in an arm-chair and deep in the morning paper, merely looked up and nodded when Toad entered the room. But Toad knew his man, so he sat down and made the best breakfast he could, merely observing to himself that he would get square with the others sooner or later. When he had nearly finished, the Badger looked up and remarked rather shortly: “I’m sorry, Toad, but I’m afraid there’s a heavy morning’s work in front of you. You see, we really ought to have a Banquet at once, to celebrate this affair. It’s expected of you—in fact, it’s the rule.”
The next morning, Toad, who had slept in as usual, finally got downstairs for breakfast at a ridiculously late hour. On the table, he found a handful of egg shells, some bits of cold, tough toast, a coffee pot that was mostly empty, and not much else, which didn’t help his mood, especially since it was his own house. Through the French windows of the breakfast room, he could see Mole and Water Rat sitting in wicker chairs on the lawn, clearly sharing stories, laughing loudly, and kicking their short legs up in the air. Badger, who was seated in an armchair with the morning paper, merely looked up and nodded when Toad walked in. But Toad knew what was up, so he sat down and tried to make the best of his breakfast, thinking to himself that he would settle the score with the others sooner or later. As he was almost done, Badger glanced up and said rather abruptly, “I’m sorry, Toad, but I’m afraid you have a heavy day of work ahead of you. You see, we really need to host a banquet right away to celebrate this whole thing. It’s expected of you—in fact, it’s the rule.”
“O, all right!” said the Toad, readily. “Anything to oblige. Though why on earth you should want to have a Banquet in the morning I cannot understand. But you know I do not live to please myself, but merely to find out what my friends want, and then try and arrange it for ’em, you dear old Badger!”
“Oh, fine!” said the Toad, happily. “Anything to help. Though I really can’t understand why you would want to have a Banquet in the morning. But you know I’m not here just to please myself, but to figure out what my friends want and then try to make it happen for them, you dear old Badger!”
“Don’t pretend to be stupider than you really are,” replied the Badger, crossly; “and don’t chuckle and splutter in your coffee while you’re talking; it’s not manners. What I mean is, the Banquet will be at night, of course, but the invitations will have to be written and got off at once, and you’ve got to write ’em. Now, sit down at that table—there’s stacks of letter-paper on it, with ‘Toad Hall’ at the top in blue and gold—and write invitations to all our friends, and if you stick to it we shall get them out before luncheon. And I’ll bear a hand, too; and take my share of the burden. I’ll order the Banquet.”
“Don’t act like you’re dumber than you actually are,” the Badger replied, annoyed. “And stop giggling and spilling your coffee while you talk; it’s rude. What I mean is, the Banquet will be at night, of course, but we need to write and send out the invitations right away, and you need to do that. Now, sit down at that table—there’s plenty of letter paper on it, with ‘Toad Hall’ at the top in blue and gold—and write invitations to all our friends, and if you focus, we can get them sent out before lunch. And I’ll help, too, and share the workload. I’ll take care of ordering the Banquet.”
“What!” cried Toad, dismayed. “Me stop indoors and write a lot of rotten letters on a jolly morning like this, when I want to go around my property, and set everything and everybody to rights, and swagger about and enjoy myself! Certainly not! I’ll be—I’ll see you——Stop a minute, though! Why, of course, dear Badger! What is my pleasure or convenience compared with that of others! You wish it done, and it shall be done. Go, Badger, order the Banquet, order what you like; then join our young friends outside in their innocent mirth, oblivious of me and my cares and toils. I sacrifice this fair morning on the altar of duty and friendship!”
“What!” Toad exclaimed, shocked. “Me, staying inside and writing a bunch of pointless letters on a beautiful morning like this, when I want to stroll around my property, fix everything and everyone, show off, and have a good time! Absolutely not! I’ll be—I’ll see you—Wait a second, though! Of course, dear Badger! What are my desires or convenience compared to others? If you want it done, it will be done. Go on, Badger, arrange the Banquet, order whatever you like; then go join our young friends outside in their innocent fun, completely unaware of me and my worries and work. I’m sacrificing this lovely morning for duty and friendship!”
The Badger looked at him very suspiciously, but Toad’s frank, open countenance made it difficult to suggest any unworthy motive in this change of attitude. He quitted the room, accordingly, in the direction of the kitchen, and as soon as the door had closed behind him, Toad hurried to the writing-table. A fine idea had occurred to him while he was talking. He would write the invitations; and he would take care to mention the leading part he had taken in the fight, and how he had laid the Chief Weasel flat; and he would hint at his adventures, and what a career of triumph he had to tell about; and on the fly-leaf he would set out a sort of a programme of entertainment for the evening—something like this, as he sketched it out in his head:—
The Badger looked at him with a lot of suspicion, but Toad’s honest, open face made it hard to imply any bad intentions behind this change in attitude. He left the room, heading towards the kitchen, and once the door closed behind him, Toad rushed over to the writing table. A great idea popped into his head while they were talking. He would write the invitations; he would make sure to mention the main role he played in the fight, and how he had taken down the Chief Weasel; he would hint at his adventures and the fantastic stories he had to share; and on the front page, he would outline a kind of entertainment schedule for the evening—something like this, as he envisioned it in his mind:—
SPEECH. . . . BY TOAD.
(There will be other speeches by TOAD during the evening.)
SPEECH. . . . BY TOAD.
(There will be additional speeches by TOAD throughout the evening.)
ADDRESS. . . BY TOAD
SYNOPSIS—Our Prison System—the Waterways of Old
England—Horse-dealing, and how to deal—Property, its rights and its
duties—Back to the Land—A Typical English Squire.
ADDRESS. . . BY TOAD
SYNOPSIS—Our Prison System—the Waterways of Old
England—Horse Trading, and how to manage it—Property, its rights and its
responsibilities—Returning to the Land—A Typical English Landowner.
SONG. . . . BY TOAD.
(Composed by himself.)
SONG. . . . BY TOAD.
(Composed by himself.)
OTHER COMPOSITIONS. BY
TOAD
will be sung in the course of the evening by the. . . COMPOSER.
OTHER COMPOSITIONS. BY
TOAD
will be performed tonight by the. . . COMPOSER.
The idea pleased him mightily, and he worked very hard and got all the letters finished by noon, at which hour it was reported to him that there was a small and rather bedraggled weasel at the door, inquiring timidly whether he could be of any service to the gentlemen. Toad swaggered out and found it was one of the prisoners of the previous evening, very respectful and anxious to please. He patted him on the head, shoved the bundle of invitations into his paw, and told him to cut along quick and deliver them as fast as he could, and if he liked to come back again in the evening, perhaps there might be a shilling for him, or, again, perhaps there mightn’t; and the poor weasel seemed really quite grateful, and hurried off eagerly to do his mission.
The idea excited him a lot, and he worked really hard to finish all the letters by noon. At that time, he was informed that there was a small and somewhat raggedy weasel at the door, nervously asking if he could help the gentlemen. Toad strutted outside and saw that it was one of the prisoners from the night before, very polite and eager to help. He patted the weasel on the head, shoved the bundle of invitations into its paw, and told it to hurry and deliver them as quickly as possible. He added that if it wanted to come back in the evening, there might be a shilling in it for him, or maybe not; and the poor weasel seemed genuinely grateful and rushed off to complete its task.
When the other animals came back to luncheon, very boisterous and breezy after a morning on the river, the Mole, whose conscience had been pricking him, looked doubtfully at Toad, expecting to find him sulky or depressed. Instead, he was so uppish and inflated that the Mole began to suspect something; while the Rat and the Badger exchanged significant glances.
When the other animals returned for lunch, lively and cheerful after a morning by the river, the Mole, feeling a little guilty, glanced at Toad, thinking he would look sulky or down. Instead, Toad was so arrogant and full of himself that the Mole started to wonder what was going on; meanwhile, the Rat and the Badger shared knowing looks.
As soon as the meal was over, Toad thrust his paws deep into his trouser-pockets, remarked casually, “Well, look after yourselves, you fellows! Ask for anything you want!” and was swaggering off in the direction of the garden, where he wanted to think out an idea or two for his coming speeches, when the Rat caught him by the arm.
As soon as the meal ended, Toad shoved his hands deep into his pockets and said casually, “Well, take care of yourselves, guys! Just ask for anything you need!” He was strutting off towards the garden, where he wanted to come up with a few ideas for his upcoming speeches, when the Rat grabbed him by the arm.
Toad rather suspected what he was after, and did his best to get away; but when the Badger took him firmly by the other arm he began to see that the game was up. The two animals conducted him between them into the small smoking-room that opened out of the entrance-hall, shut the door, and put him into a chair. Then they both stood in front of him, while Toad sat silent and regarded them with much suspicion and ill-humour.
Toad had a pretty good idea of what was going on, and he tried hard to escape; but when the Badger grabbed his other arm, he started to realize he was trapped. The two animals led him into the small smoking room off the entrance hall, closed the door, and made him sit in a chair. They stood in front of him while Toad sat quietly, eyeing them with suspicion and a bad attitude.
“Now, look here, Toad,” said the Rat. “It’s about this Banquet, and very sorry I am to have to speak to you like this. But we want you to understand clearly, once and for all, that there are going to be no speeches and no songs. Try and grasp the fact that on this occasion we’re not arguing with you; we’re just telling you.”
“Listen, Toad,” said the Rat. “It’s about this Banquet, and I really hate to bring it up like this. But we want you to understand clearly, once and for all, that there will be no speeches and no songs. Please realize that this time we’re not debating you; we’re just informing you.”
Toad saw that he was trapped. They understood him, they saw through him, they had got ahead of him. His pleasant dream was shattered.
Toad realized he was stuck. They understood him, saw right through him, and had outsmarted him. His happy dream was destroyed.
“Mayn’t I sing them just one little song?” he pleaded piteously.
“Can’t I sing them just one little song?” he begged sadly.
“No, not one little song,” replied the Rat firmly, though his heart bled as he noticed the trembling lip of the poor disappointed Toad. “It’s no good, Toady; you know well that your songs are all conceit and boasting and vanity; and your speeches are all self-praise and—and—well, and gross exaggeration and—and——”
“No, not one little song,” the Rat replied firmly, even though his heart ached when he saw the poor, disappointed Toad's trembling lip. “It’s no use, Toady; you know your songs are all just bragging and vanity; and your speeches are just self-praise and—and—well, and gross exaggeration and—and——”
“And gas,” put in the Badger, in his common way.
“And gas,” added the Badger, in his usual manner.
“It’s for your own good, Toady,” went on the Rat. “You know you must turn over a new leaf sooner or later, and now seems a splendid time to begin; a sort of turning-point in your career. Please don’t think that saying all this doesn’t hurt me more than it hurts you.”
“It’s for your own good, Toady,” the Rat continued. “You know you have to turn over a new leaf sooner or later, and now seems like a great time to start; a real turning point in your life. Please don’t think that saying all this doesn’t hurt me more than it hurts you.”
Toad remained a long while plunged in thought. At last he raised his head, and the traces of strong emotion were visible on his features. “You have conquered, my friends,” he said in broken accents. “It was, to be sure, but a small thing that I asked—merely leave to blossom and expand for yet one more evening, to let myself go and hear the tumultuous applause that always seems to me—somehow—to bring out my best qualities. However, you are right, I know, and I am wrong. Hence forth I will be a very different Toad. My friends, you shall never have occasion to blush for me again. But, O dear, O dear, this is a hard world!”
Toad sat deep in thought for a long time. Finally, he looked up, and the signs of strong emotion were clear on his face. “You’ve won, my friends,” he said, his voice shaky. “It was just a small request I made—just a chance to shine and enjoy one more evening, to let loose and hear the loud applause that always seems to bring out my best side. But deep down, I know you’re right, and I’m wrong. From now on, I will be a very different Toad. My friends, you won’t have to feel embarrassed for me again. But, oh dear, oh dear, this is a tough world!”
And, pressing his handkerchief to his face, he left the room, with faltering footsteps.
And, pressing his handkerchief to his face, he left the room with unsteady footsteps.
“Badger,” said the Rat, “I feel like a brute; I wonder what you feel like?”
“Badger,” said the Rat, “I feel like a jerk; I wonder what you feel like?”
“O, I know, I know,” said the Badger gloomily. “But the thing had to be done. This good fellow has got to live here, and hold his own, and be respected. Would you have him a common laughing-stock, mocked and jeered at by stoats and weasels?”
“O, I get it, I get it,” the Badger said sadly. “But it had to be done. This good guy needs to live here, stand his ground, and be respected. Would you want him to be a common joke, ridiculed and taunted by stoats and weasels?”
“Of course not,” said the Rat. “And, talking of weasels, it’s lucky we came upon that little weasel, just as he was setting out with Toad’s invitations. I suspected something from what you told me, and had a look at one or two; they were simply disgraceful. I confiscated the lot, and the good Mole is now sitting in the blue boudoir, filling up plain, simple invitation cards.”
“Of course not,” said the Rat. “And speaking of weasels, it’s lucky we found that little weasel just as he was heading out with Toad’s invitations. I had a hunch from what you told me, so I checked a couple; they were absolutely disgraceful. I took all of them, and now the good Mole is in the blue room, filling out plain, simple invitation cards.”
At last the hour for the banquet began to draw near, and Toad, who on leaving the others had retired to his bedroom, was still sitting there, melancholy and thoughtful. His brow resting on his paw, he pondered long and deeply. Gradually his countenance cleared, and he began to smile long, slow smiles. Then he took to giggling in a shy, self-conscious manner. At last he got up, locked the door, drew the curtains across the windows, collected all the chairs in the room and arranged them in a semicircle, and took up his position in front of them, swelling visibly. Then he bowed, coughed twice, and, letting himself go, with uplifted voice he sang, to the enraptured audience that his imagination so clearly saw.
At last, the time for the banquet was approaching, and Toad, who had gone to his bedroom after leaving the others, was still sitting there, feeling sad and lost in thought. With his head resting on his paw, he thought deeply for a long time. Gradually, his expression brightened, and he started to smile slow, lingering smiles. Then he began to giggle shyly, feeling a bit awkward. Finally, he stood up, locked the door, drew the curtains, gathered all the chairs in the room, and arranged them in a semicircle. Taking his position in front of them, he puffed himself up visibly. Then he bowed, cleared his throat twice, and, letting himself go, with a raised voice, he sang to the imaginary audience he vividly envisioned.
TOAD’S LAST LITTLE SONG!
The Toad—came—home!
There was panic in the parlours and howling in the halls,
There was crying in the cow-sheds and shrieking in the stalls,
When the Toad—came—home!
When the Toad—came—home!
There was smashing in of window and crashing in of door,
There was chivvying of weasels that fainted on the floor,
When the Toad—came—home!
Bang! go the drums!
The trumpeters are tooting and the soldiers are saluting,
And the cannon they are shooting and the motor-cars are hooting,
As the—Hero—comes!
Shout—Hoo-ray!
And let each one of the crowd try and shout it very loud,
In honour of an animal of whom you’re justly proud,
For it’s Toad’s—great—day!
TOAD’S LAST LITTLE SONG!
The Toad—came—home!
There was chaos in the living rooms and shouting in the hallways,
There was crying in the barns and screaming in the stalls,
When the Toad—came—home!
When the Toad—came—home!
There was breaking of windows and banging down of doors,
There was chasing of weasels that fainted on the floor,
When the Toad—came—home!
Bang! go the drums!
The trumpeters are playing and the soldiers are saluting,
And the cannons are firing and the cars are honking,
As the—Hero—comes!
Shout—Hoo-ray!
And let everyone in the crowd try to shout it really loud,
In honor of an animal of whom you’re justly proud,
For it’s Toad’s—great—day!
He sang this very loud, with great unction and expression; and when he had done, he sang it all over again.
He sang this really loud, with a lot of feeling and emotion; and once he finished, he sang it all over again.
Then he heaved a deep sigh; a long, long, long sigh.
Then he let out a deep sigh; a long, long sigh.
Then he dipped his hairbrush in the water-jug, parted his hair in the middle, and plastered it down very straight and sleek on each side of his face; and, unlocking the door, went quietly down the stairs to greet his guests, who he knew must be assembling in the drawing-room.
Then he dipped his hairbrush in the water jug, parted his hair in the middle, and smoothed it down very straight and sleek on each side of his face. Unlocking the door, he quietly went down the stairs to greet his guests, who he knew must be gathering in the drawing room.
All the animals cheered when he entered, and crowded round to congratulate him and say nice things about his courage, and his cleverness, and his fighting qualities; but Toad only smiled faintly, and murmured, “Not at all!” Or, sometimes, for a change, “On the contrary!” Otter, who was standing on the hearthrug, describing to an admiring circle of friends exactly how he would have managed things had he been there, came forward with a shout, threw his arm round Toad’s neck, and tried to take him round the room in triumphal progress; but Toad, in a mild way, was rather snubby to him, remarking gently, as he disengaged himself, “Badger’s was the mastermind; the Mole and the Water Rat bore the brunt of the fighting; I merely served in the ranks and did little or nothing.” The animals were evidently puzzled and taken aback by this unexpected attitude of his; and Toad felt, as he moved from one guest to the other, making his modest responses, that he was an object of absorbing interest to every one.
All the animals cheered when he came in and gathered around to congratulate him and say nice things about his courage, cleverness, and fighting skills; but Toad just smiled faintly and muttered, “Not at all!” Or sometimes, for a change, “On the contrary!” Otter, who was standing on the rug, telling an admiring group of friends how he would have handled things if he had been there, came over with a shout, threw his arm around Toad’s neck, and tried to take him around the room in a victory march; but Toad, in a mild way, was a bit dismissive, gently saying as he pulled away, “Badger was the mastermind; Mole and Water Rat did the heavy lifting in the fighting; I just served in the ranks and did very little.” The animals were clearly puzzled and surprised by his unexpected attitude, and as Toad moved from one guest to another, making his modest responses, he felt like he was the center of attention for everyone.
The Badger had ordered everything of the best, and the banquet was a great success. There was much talking and laughter and chaff among the animals, but through it all Toad, who of course was in the chair, looked down his nose and murmured pleasant nothings to the animals on either side of him. At intervals he stole a glance at the Badger and the Rat, and always when he looked they were staring at each other with their mouths open; and this gave him the greatest satisfaction. Some of the younger and livelier animals, as the evening wore on, got whispering to each other that things were not so amusing as they used to be in the good old days; and there were some knockings on the table and cries of “Toad! Speech! Speech from Toad! Song! Mr. Toad’s song!” But Toad only shook his head gently, raised one paw in mild protest, and, by pressing delicacies on his guests, by topical small-talk, and by earnest inquiries after members of their families not yet old enough to appear at social functions, managed to convey to them that this dinner was being run on strictly conventional lines.
The Badger had ordered everything of the highest quality, and the banquet was a huge success. There was plenty of talking, laughter, and playful teasing among the animals, but throughout it all, Toad, who was of course in charge, looked down his nose and murmured pleasant nonsense to the animals on either side of him. Occasionally, he stole a glance at the Badger and the Rat, and every time he looked, they were staring at each other with their mouths hanging open; this gave him great satisfaction. Some of the younger and more energetic animals, as the evening went on, started whispering to each other that things weren't as fun as they used to be in the good old days; and there were some knocks on the table and cries of “Toad! Speech! Speech from Toad! Song! Mr. Toad’s song!” But Toad just shook his head gently, raised one paw in mild protest, and, by serving delicacies to his guests, engaging in light conversation, and earnestly asking after family members who were not old enough to join social events, managed to make it clear that this dinner was being conducted on strictly conventional terms.
He was indeed an altered Toad!
He was definitely a changed Toad!
After this climax, the four animals continued to lead their lives, so rudely broken in upon by civil war, in great joy and contentment, undisturbed by further risings or invasions. Toad, after due consultation with his friends, selected a handsome gold chain and locket set with pearls, which he dispatched to the gaoler’s daughter with a letter that even the Badger admitted to be modest, grateful, and appreciative; and the engine-driver, in his turn, was properly thanked and compensated for all his pains and trouble. Under severe compulsion from the Badger, even the barge-woman was, with some trouble, sought out and the value of her horse discreetly made good to her; though Toad kicked terribly at this, holding himself to be an instrument of Fate, sent to punish fat women with mottled arms who couldn’t tell a real gentleman when they saw one. The amount involved, it was true, was not very burdensome, the gipsy’s valuation being admitted by local assessors to be approximately correct.
After this climax, the four animals went back to living their lives, which had been so roughly interrupted by civil war, in great happiness and satisfaction, undisturbed by any further uprisings or invasions. Toad, after discussing with his friends, chose a beautiful gold chain and locket set with pearls, which he sent to the jailer's daughter along with a letter that even the Badger agreed was modest, grateful, and appreciative; and the engine driver was properly thanked and compensated for all his efforts and troubles. Under strong pressure from the Badger, they even managed to track down the barge-woman and discreetly compensating her for the value of her horse, although Toad was extremely upset about this, believing himself to be an instrument of Fate, sent to punish overweight women with mottled arms who couldn’t recognize a real gentleman when they saw one. The amount in question was not particularly burdensome, as the gypsy’s valuation was accepted by local assessors as approximately correct.
Sometimes, in the course of long summer evenings, the friends would take a stroll together in the Wild Wood, now successfully tamed so far as they were concerned; and it was pleasing to see how respectfully they were greeted by the inhabitants, and how the mother-weasels would bring their young ones to the mouths of their holes, and say, pointing, “Look, baby! There goes the great Mr. Toad! And that’s the gallant Water Rat, a terrible fighter, walking along o’ him! And yonder comes the famous Mr. Mole, of whom you so often have heard your father tell!” But when their infants were fractious and quite beyond control, they would quiet them by telling how, if they didn’t hush them and not fret them, the terrible grey Badger would up and get them. This was a base libel on Badger, who, though he cared little about Society, was rather fond of children; but it never failed to have its full effect.
Sometimes, during long summer evenings, the friends would take a walk together in the Wild Wood, which they had managed to tame as far as they were concerned. It was nice to see how respectfully the local animals greeted them, and how the mother weasels would bring their young ones to the entrances of their burrows and say, pointing, “Look, baby! There goes the great Mr. Toad! And that’s the brave Water Rat, a fierce fighter, walking alongside him! And there comes the famous Mr. Mole, whom you’ve heard your father talk about so often!” But when their little ones became fussy and impossible to manage, they would calm them by saying that if they didn’t settle down and stop bothering them, the scary grey Badger would come to get them. This was a total lie about Badger, who, although he didn’t care much for socializing, actually liked children; but it always worked perfectly.
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