This is a modern-English version of Things as they are : Mission work in Southern India, originally written by Carmichael, Amy.
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Things as They Are


Things as They Are
MISSION WORK
IN SOUTHERN INDIA
BY
AMY WILSON-CARMICHAEL
AUTHOR OF "FROM SUNRISE LAND," ETC.
WITH PREFACE BY
Eugene Stock

LONDON: MORGAN AND SCOTT
(Office of "The Christian")
12, PATERNOSTER BUILDINGS, E.C.
And may be ordered of any bookseller
1905
First Edition | April 1903 |
Reprinted | August 1903 |
" | January 1904 |
" | November 1904 |
" | January 1905 |
ELEANOR CARR,
Whose last message to the Band, before her
translation on June 16, 1901, was:
"YOU WILL BE IN THE THICK OF THE FIGHT
BY THE TIME THIS REACHES YOU,

Note
And now at His feet, who can use the least, we lay this book again; for "to the Mighty One," as the Tamil proverb says, "even the blade of grass is a weapon." May it be used for His Name's sake, to win more prayer for India—and all dark lands—the prayer that prevails.
And now at His feet, who can use the least, we lay this book again; for "to the Mighty One," as the Tamil proverb says, "even the blade of grass is a weapon." May it be used for His Name's sake, to win more prayer for India—and all dark lands—the prayer that prevails.
S. India.
Confirmatory Notes
From Rev. D. Downie, D.D., American Baptist Mission, Nizam's Dominions, S. India.
I have felt for many years that we missionaries were far too prone to dwell on what is called the "bright side of mission work." That it has a bright side no one can question. That it has a "dark" side some do question; but I for one, after thirty years of experience, know it to be just as true as the bright side is true. I have heard Miss Carmichael's book denounced as "pessimistic." Just what is meant by that I am not quite sure; but if it means that what she has written is untrue, then I am prepared to say that it is NOT pessimistic, for there is not a line of it that cannot be duplicated in this Telugu Mission. That she has painted a dark picture of Hindu life cannot be denied, but, since it is every word true, I[vi] rejoice that she had the courage to do what was so much needed, and yet what so many of us shrank from doing, "lest it should injure the cause."
I’ve felt for many years that we missionaries were way too focused on what people call the "bright side of mission work." No one can deny that there is a bright side. Some people question the existence of a "dark" side, but I, with thirty years of experience, know that it’s just as real as the bright side. I’ve heard Miss Carmichael’s book criticized as "pessimistic." I’m not entirely sure what that means, but if it implies that what she wrote is untrue, then I’m ready to say that it is NOT pessimistic, because there’s not a single line that couldn’t be echoed in this Telugu Mission. It’s undeniable that she painted a dark picture of Hindu life, but since every word is true, I[vi] am glad she had the courage to do what was so necessary, even though so many of us hesitated to do it for fear of "injuring the cause."
From Rev. T. Stewart, M.A., Secretary, United Free Church Mission, Madras.
This book, Things as They Are, meets a real need—it depicts a phase of mission work of which, as a rule, very little is heard. Every missionary can tell of cases where people have been won for Christ, and mention incidents of more than passing interest. Miss Carmichael is no exception, and could tell of not a few trophies of grace. The danger is, lest in describing such incidents the impression should be given that they represent the normal state of things, the reverse being the case. The people of India are not thirsting for the Gospel, nor "calling us to deliver their land from error's chain." The night is still one in which the "spiritual hosts of wickedness" have to be overcome before the captive can be set free. The writer has laid all interested in the extension of the Kingdom of God under a deep debt of obligation by such a graphic and accurate picture of the difficulties that have to be faced and the obstacles to be overcome. Counterparts of the incidents recorded can be found in other parts of South India, and there are probably few missionaries engaged in vernacular work who could not illustrate some of them from their own experience.
This book, Things as They Are, addresses a genuine need—it showcases a phase of mission work that, generally, receives very little attention. Every missionary can share stories of people they’ve brought to Christ and recount incidents of significant interest. Miss Carmichael is no exception and has her own share of successes to talk about. The risk is that in describing such events, it may seem like they portray the normal situation, when in fact the opposite is true. The people of India are not eagerly seeking the Gospel, nor are they "calling us to rescue their land from error's grasp." The night remains one where the "spiritual forces of wickedness" must be defeated before the captives can be released. The writer has created a compelling and precise account of the challenges faced and the barriers to be overcome, which places all those invested in the growth of God’s Kingdom in a position of significant responsibility. Similar incidents can be found in other areas of South India, and there are likely few missionaries involved in local work who could not share some of these experiences from their own journeys.
From Dr. A. W. Rudisill, Methodist Episcopal Press, Madras.
In Things as They Are are pictured, by camera and pen, some things in Southern India. The pen, as faithfully as the camera, has told the truth, and nothing but the truth.
In Things as They Are, some aspects of Southern India are captured through both photography and writing. The writing, just as accurately as the photography, has conveyed the truth and only the truth.
The early chapters bring out with vivid, striking, almost startling reality the wayside hearers in India. One can almost see the devil plucking away the words as fast as they fall, and hear the opposers of the Gospel crying out against it.
The early chapters vividly depict the onlookers in India. You can almost visualize the devil snatching away the words as soon as they’re spoken, and hear the critics of the Gospel shouting against it.
Paul did not hesitate to write things as they were of the idolaters to whom he preached, even though the picture was very dark. It is all the more needful now, when so many are deceived and being deceived as to the true nature of idolatry, that people at home who give and pray should be told plainly that what Paul wrote of idolaters in Rome and Corinth is still true of idolaters in India.
Paul was straightforward in describing the idolaters he preached to, even when the truth was harsh. It’s even more important now, as so many are misled about the real nature of idolatry, for those at home who donate and pray to be made aware that what Paul said about idolaters in Rome and Corinth still applies to idolaters in India.
Miss Carmichael has given only glances and glimpses, not full insights. Let those who think the picture she has drawn is too dark know that, if the whole truth were told, an evil spirit only could produce the pictures, and hell itself would be the only fit place in which to publish them, because in Christian lands eyes have not seen and ears have not heard of such things.[vii]
Miss Carmichael has only offered brief glimpses and not complete insights. For those who believe the image she painted is too dark, let them understand that if the whole truth were revealed, only an evil spirit could create such images, and hell would be the only suitable place to display them, because in Christian lands, eyes have not seen and ears have not heard of such things.[vii]
From Rev. C.W. Clarke, M.A., Principal, Noble College, Masulipatam.
I have worked as Principal of a College for over seventeen years amongst the caste people of South India, and I entirely endorse Miss Carmichael's views as to the actual risks run by students and others desirous of breaking caste and being baptized. While the teaching of the Bible and English education generally have removed a great deal of prejudice, and greatly raised the ethical standard amongst a number of those who come under such influences, Hinduism as held and practised by the vast majority of caste people remains essentially unchanged. To break caste is held to be the greatest evil a person can inflict upon himself and his community, therefore practically any means may be resorted to to prevent such a calamity. It is a commonplace amongst missionaries, that when a caste man or woman shows any serious intention of being baptized,—in any case, where caste feeling is not modified by special circumstances,—the most stringent precautions must be taken to protect the inquirer from the schemes of his caste brethren.
I have been the Principal of a College for over seventeen years among the caste community in South India, and I completely support Miss Carmichael's views on the real risks faced by students and others who want to break caste and get baptized. While the teaching of the Bible and general English education have reduced a lot of prejudice and significantly raised the ethical standards for many influenced by these teachings, Hinduism as practiced by the vast majority of caste people remains largely unchanged. Breaking caste is seen as the worst thing someone can do to themselves and their community, so practically any means may be used to prevent such a disaster. It’s commonly understood among missionaries that when a caste man or woman shows any serious intent to be baptized—unless caste feelings are altered by special circumstances—stringent precautions must be taken to protect the inquirer from the plots of their caste peers.
From Krishna Ran, Esq., B.A., Editor, Christian Patriot, Madras (himself a convert).
The question is often asked whether a high caste Hindu convert can live with his own people after his baptism. It is only those who know nothing of the conditions of life in India, and of the power of caste as it exists in this country, who raise the question.
The question is often asked whether a high-caste Hindu convert can live with their own people after their baptism. Only those who are unaware of the living conditions in India and the influence of caste in this country raise this question.
The convert has to be prepared for the loss of parents and their tender affection; of brothers and sisters, relatives and friends; of wife and children, if he has any; of his birthright, social position, means of livelihood, reputation, and all the power which hides behind the magic word "caste"; of all that he is taught from his childhood to hold as sacred.
The person converting needs to be ready to lose their parents and their loving support; siblings, relatives, and friends; a spouse and kids, if they have them; their birthright, social standing, job, reputation, and all the influence tied to the powerful word "caste"; and everything they were taught from a young age to regard as sacred.
From Miss Read, South Arcot, South India.
I am not surprised that anyone unacquainted with mission work in India should be staggered at the facts narrated in Things as They Are. But as one who has worked for nearly thirty years in the heart of heathenism, away from the haunts of civilisation, I can bear testimony that the reality of things far exceeds anything that it would be possible to put into print. One's tongue falters to tell of what is custom in this country. I know a case where a young girl of ten was placed in such a position that her choice lay between two sinful courses of life, no right way being open to her. I think one of the most distressing things we[viii] have to meet in caste work in this country is the fact that often as soon as a soul begins to show interest in Christ he or she disappears, and one either hears next that he is dead, or can get no reliable information at all.
I’m not surprised that anyone who isn’t familiar with mission work in India would be shocked by the facts shared in Things as They Are. But as someone who has spent nearly thirty years in the midst of paganism, away from the comforts of civilization, I can affirm that the reality far surpasses anything that could be expressed in writing. It’s hard to find the words to describe what is customary in this country. I know of a case where a ten-year-old girl was put in a situation where she had to choose between two sinful paths, with no right option available to her. One of the most heartbreaking challenges we[viii] face in caste work here is that often, as soon as someone shows interest in Christ, they just vanish, and we either hear later that they have died or can’t get any reliable information at all.
Extract from a letter to Miss Carmichael on Things as They Are. (The writer is a veteran American missionary.)
I could duplicate nearly every incident in the book; so I know it is a true picture, not alone because I believe your word, but because my experience has been so similar to yours. Many times, while reading it, the memory of the old heart-break has been so vivid that I have had to lay the book down and look round the familiar room in order to convince myself that it was you, and not I, who was agonising over one of the King's own children who was being crowded back into darkness and hurled down to destruction, because Satan's wrath is great as he realises that his time is short.
I could replicate almost every event in the book; so I know it's an accurate representation, not just because I trust what you say, but because my experiences have been very similar to yours. Many times, while reading it, the memory of old heartbreak has been so intense that I had to put the book down and look around the familiar room to remind myself that it was you, not me, who was suffering over one of the King’s own children being pushed back into darkness and thrown down to ruin, because Satan's anger is fierce as he realizes his time is running out.
I wish the book might be read by all the Christians in the homeland.
I hope that all the Christians in the country will read this book.
From Pandita Ramabai.
While I was reading Things as They Are, I fancied I was living my old life among Hindus over again. I can honestly corroborate everything said in regard to the religious and social life of the Hindus. I came from that part of the country, and I am very glad that the book has succeeded in bringing the truth to light.
While I was reading Things as They Are, I felt like I was reliving my old life among Hindus. I can honestly confirm everything mentioned about the religious and social life of the Hindus. I come from that part of the country, and I'm really glad the book has succeeded in revealing the truth.
From Miss L. Trotter.
There is hardly a phase of all the heart-suffering retold that we have not known: page after page might have been written out here, word for word.
There’s barely a moment of the heartache recounted that we haven’t experienced: we could have written it all out here, word for word.
Preface
I do not think the realities of Hindu life have ever been portrayed with greater vividness than in this book; and I know that the authoress's accuracy can be fully relied upon. The picture is drawn without prejudice, with all sympathy, with full recognition of what is good, and yet with an unswerving determination to tell the truth and let the facts be known,—that is, so far as she dares to tell them. What she says is the truth, and nothing but the truth; but it is not the whole truth—that she could not tell. If she wrote it, it could not be printed. If it were printed, it could not be read. But if we read between the lines, we do just catch glimpses of what she calls "the Actual."
I don't think the realities of Hindu life have ever been depicted more vividly than in this book; and I trust the author's accuracy completely. The portrayal is done without bias, with total empathy, recognizing what is good, while also being committed to telling the truth and revealing the facts—as much as she's willing to share. What she presents is the truth, and nothing but the truth; yet it’s not the whole truth—that she couldn't disclose. If she wrote it, it couldn't be published. If it were published, it couldn't be read. But if we read between the lines, we do catch glimpses of what she refers to as "the Actual."
It is evident that the authoress deeply felt the responsibility of writing such a book; and I too feel the[x] responsibility of recommending it. I do so with the prayer of my heart that God will use it to move many. It is not a book to be read with a lazy kind of sentimental "interest." It is a book to send the reader to his knees—still more to her knees.
It’s clear that the author felt a strong sense of responsibility in writing this book, and I also feel the[x] weight of recommending it. I hope with all my heart that God will use it to inspire many. This isn’t a book to read with a casual, sentimental kind of “interest.” It’s a book meant to bring the reader to their knees—especially her knees.
Most of the chapters are concerned with the lives of Heathen men and women and children surrounded by the tremendous bars and gates of the Caste system. But one chapter, and not the least important one, tells of native Christians. It has long been one of my own objects to correct the curious general impression among people at home that native Christians, as a body, are—not indeed perfect,—no one thinks that, but—earnest and consistent followers of Christ. Narratives, true narratives, of true converts are read, and these are supposed to be specimens of the whole body. But (1) where there have been "mass movements" towards Christianity, where whole villages have put themselves under Christian instruction, mixed motives are certain; (2) where there have been two or three generations of Christians it is unreasonable to expect the descendants of men who may have been themselves most true converts to be necessarily like them. Hereditary Christianity in India is much like hereditary Christianity at home. The Church in Tinnevelly, of which this book incidentally tells a little, is marked by both these features. Whole families or even villages have "come over" at times; and the large majority of the Christians were (so to speak) born Christians, and were baptized in infancy. This is not in itself a result to be despised. "Christian England," unchristian as a great part of its population really is, is better than Heathen India; and in the chapter now referred to, Miss Carmichael herself notices the difference between a Hindu and a Christian[xi] village. But the more widely Christianity spreads, the more will there assuredly be of mere nominal profession.
Most of the chapters focus on the lives of non-Christians—men, women, and children—trapped by the strict barriers of the caste system. However, one chapter, which is quite important, discusses native Christians. For a long time, I’ve aimed to change the common perception back home that native Christians, as a group, are not perfect—no one believes that—but are genuinely committed and consistent followers of Christ. True stories about real converts are shared, and these are often viewed as representative of the entire group. However, (1) in cases of "mass movements" toward Christianity, where entire villages adopt Christian teachings, there are often mixed motivations; (2) when there are two or three generations of Christians, it’s unreasonable to expect their descendants, who may have had truly sincere ancestors, to be the same. Hereditary Christianity in India resembles hereditary Christianity back home. The church in Tinnevelly, which this book mentions, exhibits both of these aspects. At times, entire families or even villages have "converted," and the vast majority of Christians there were (so to speak) born into Christianity and baptized as infants. This in itself is not a trivial outcome. "Christian England," as un-Christian as a significant portion of its population may actually be, is better than non-Christian India; and in the chapter mentioned, Miss Carmichael herself highlights the differences between a Hindu village and a Christian one[xi]. However, the more Christianity spreads, the more there will inevitably be individuals who are only nominally Christian.
Is the incorrect impression I allude to caused by missionaries dwelling mostly on the brighter side of their work? Here and there in the book there is just a suggestion that they are wrong in doing so. But how can they help it? What does a clergyman or an evangelist in England tell of? Does he tell of his many daily disappointments, or of his occasional encouraging cases? The latter are the events of his life, and he naturally tells of them. The former he comprises in some general statement. How can he do otherwise? And what can the modern missionary do in the short reports he is able to write? Fifty years ago missionary journals of immense length came home, and were duly published; and then the details of Hindu idolatry and cruelty and impurity, and the tremendous obstacles to the Gospel, were better known by the few regular readers. Much that Miss Carmichael tells was then told over and over again, though not perhaps with a skilful pen like hers. But the work has so greatly developed in each mission, and the missions are so far more numerous and extended, that neither can missionaries now write as their predecessors did, nor, if they did, could all the missionary periodicals together find space for their journals.
Is the misunderstanding I’m talking about because missionaries mainly focus on the positive aspects of their work? Occasionally, the book hints that they might be wrong in doing this. But how can they avoid it? What does a clergyman or an evangelist in England usually share? Do they talk about their daily frustrations, or do they highlight the rare moments of success? The latter are the key moments in their lives, so it makes sense that they share those. The disappointments are summed up in general statements. How else can they approach it? And what can modern missionaries include in the brief reports they’ve been able to write? Fifty years ago, missionary journals were extensive and published regularly; they included detailed accounts of Hindu idolatry, cruelty, and immorality, as well as the significant challenges to spreading the Gospel, which were more familiar to the few regular readers. Much of what Miss Carmichael shares has been repeated many times before, although perhaps not with her level of skill. However, the work has expanded so much in every mission, and the number of missions has increased significantly, that missionaries today can neither write in the same way as their predecessors nor could all the missionary publications combined accommodate their accounts if they did.
The fault of incorrect impressions lies mainly in the want of knowledge and want of thought of home speakers and preachers. I remember, thirty years ago, an eloquent Bishop in Exeter Hall triumphantly flinging in the face of critics of missions the question, "Is Tinnevelly a fiction?"—as if Tinnevelly had become a Christian country, which apparently some people still suppose it to be, notwithstanding the warning words to the contrary which the C.M.S. publications have again and again[xii] uttered. Even now, there are in Tinnevelly about twenty heathen to every one Christian; and of what sort the twenty are this book tells. Tinnevelly is indeed "no fiction," but in a very different sense from that of the good Bishop's speech. Again, a few months ago, I heard a preacher, not very favourable to the C.M.S., say that the C.M.S., despite its shortcomings, deserved well of the Church because it had "converted a nation" in Uganda!—as if the nation comprised only 30,000 souls. Some day the "Actual" of Uganda will be better understood, and the inevitable shortcomings of even its Christian population realised, and then we shall be told that we deceived the public—although we have warned them over and over again.
The problem with misconceptions mainly comes from the lack of knowledge and thought among local speakers and preachers. I remember thirty years ago, an eloquent Bishop at Exeter Hall confidently challenging mission critics with the question, "Is Tinnevelly a fiction?"—as if Tinnevelly had turned into a Christian nation, which some people still seem to believe, despite the repeated warnings in C.M.S. publications. Even now, there are about twenty non-Christians for every Christian in Tinnevelly, and this book reveals the nature of those twenty. Tinnevelly is definitely "no fiction," but in a very different way than the Bishop suggested. Just a few months ago, I heard a preacher, who wasn’t very supportive of the C.M.S., claim that the C.M.S., despite its flaws, had "converted a nation" in Uganda!—as if that nation only had 30,000 people. Someday, the true situation in Uganda will be better understood, and people will realize the inevitable shortcomings of even its Christian population, and then we will be accused of misleading the public—even though we have warned them repeatedly.
But the larger part of this book is a revelation—so far as is possible—of the "Actual" of Hinduism and Caste. God grant that its terrible facts and its burning words may sink into the hearts of its readers! Perhaps, when they have read it, they will at last agree that we have used no sensational and exaggerated language when we have said that the Church is only playing at missions! Service, and self-denial, and prayer, must be on a different scale indeed if we are ever—I do not say to convert the world—but even to evangelise it.
But the larger part of this book reveals— as much as possible— the "Actual" of Hinduism and Caste. I hope its harsh truths and powerful words resonate with its readers! Maybe, after reading it, they will finally agree that we haven't used any sensational or exaggerated language when we say that the Church is merely pretending to do missions! Service, self-denial, and prayer must be taken much more seriously if we are ever— I'm not saying to convert the world— but even to evangelize it.
Contents
CHAPTER | PAGE | |
I. | About the Book | 1 |
II. | Three Afternoons Away from the Track | 5 |
III. | Boring | 18 |
IV. | Messages | 26 |
V. | The Prey of the Terrible | 33 |
VI. | Missed Connections | 41 |
VII. | "The Dust of Reality" | 57 |
VIII. | Origins | 71 |
IX. | The Classes and the Masses | 83 |
X. | The Creed Gap | 91 |
XI. | Caste Seen as a Doer | 96 |
XII. | Petra | 105 |
XIII. | Death by Neglect | 111 |
XIV. | What occurred | 118 |
XV. | "Just Murdered" | 124 |
XVI. | Volunteers Needed | 132 |
XVII. | If it's really important . . . ? | 141 |
XVIII. | The Call Got Stronger | 145 |
XIX. | "Drawn in by the Influence" | 160 |
XX. | The Elf | 171 |
XXI. | Cursed Evil | 188 |
XXII. | Behind the Door | 194 |
XXIII. | "Pan is Dead" | 203 |
XXIV. | "Married to God" | 217 |
XXV. | Skirting the Void | 223 |
XXVI. | From a Hindu perspective | 236 |
XXVII. | Though you do not know Him | 249 |
XXVIII. | How long? | 256 |
XXIX. | What do we consider their value to be? | 262 |
XXX. | Two Safe | 273 |
XXXI. | Three Arguments Against | 277 |
XXXII. | "Show Me Your Glory!" | 289 |
Appendix. Indian Saints | 303 |
Illustrations
An Elderly Brahman | Frontispiece |
Bandy crossing a pool | Facing page 5 |
A Young Tamil Girl | 11 |
A potter at his wheel | 24 |
A Devotee of Shiva | 26 |
Red Lake Village | 28 |
Death Scene | 51 |
Crying out | 53 |
Three Ritual Mourners | 54 |
Ritual Bathing | 56 |
An Ancient Outcast | 58 |
Vellala Woman | 66 |
Typical Older Widow | 73 |
Hindu Teacher and Students | 87 |
Shanar Mom and Child | 91 |
Cooking in a Shanar Home | 98 |
Fairly Typical Vellalar | 105 |
Christian Single Mom | 112 |
Brahmin Girl | 118 |
Three Types of Being a Brahman— | |
Eager | 132 |
Considerate | 134 |
Boring | 138 |
An Elderly Woman and Baby | 143 |
Brahmin Widow | 145 |
Brahman St. | 147 |
Shepherd Class House | 151 |
Vellala Kid | 161 |
"The Ugly Duckling" | 178 |
Chalk Art Designs | 194 |
Handprints on the Door | 202 |
A "Holy Guru" | 221 |
Woman and Water Container | 262 |
Glossary
Agni | God of Fire. |
Ayo | Alas! "Ai" runs together almost like "eye." The word is repeated rapidly, Eye-eye Yō Eye-eye Yō! |
Mom | Mother! (vocative case). "A" is pronounced like "u" in "up." The word is also used by all women in speaking to each other, and by girls in speaking to women. |
Ammāl | Lady or woman. "A" is pronounced like "u" in "up." |
Anna | One penny. |
Betel Nut | Nut "eaten" by the Indians with betel leaf or lime. |
Betel leaf | Leaf of a creeper. |
Play hockey | A bullock cart. |
Brahma | The first person in the Hindu Triad, regarded as the Creator. |
Brahman | The highest of the Hindu Castes. |
Bramo Society | A sect of Hindu reformers who honour Christ as a man, but reject Him as a Saviour. |
Cheer! | Exclamation of derision, disgust, or remonstrance. |
Compound | A piece of ground surrounding a house. |
Laborer | A paid labourer. "Coolie" is the Tamil word for pay. |
[xvi]Curry dish | A preparation of meat or vegetables made by grinding various condiments and mixing them together. |
Fakeer | Religious beggar. |
Guide | A religious teacher. |
Iyer | Title given to Brahmans and Gurus. |
Paddy field | Rice in the husk. Paddy fields = rice fields. |
Outcast | A depressed class. |
Puja | Worship. "ū" is pronounced like "oo." |
INR | Value 1s. 4d. |
Saiva | A worshipper of Siva. |
Hello | A salutation meaning "peace," used in greeting and farewell, and often in the sense of "thank you." The right hand is raised to the forehead as one says salaam. |
Seeley | Tamil woman's dress of silk, muslin, or cotton. |
Shanargal | A Caste of Palmyra-palm climbers. |
Siva | The third person in the Hindu Triad. The Destroyer. |
TomTom | An Indian drum. |
Vaishnava | A worshipper of Vishnu. |
Vellalar | A Caste of landowners and cultivators. |
Vishnu | The second person in the Hindu Triad. The Preserver. |
THINGS AS THEY ARE
MISSION WORK IN SOUTHERN INDIA
CHAPTER I
About the Book
"We can do nothing against the Truth, but for the Truth."
"We can't do anything against the Truth, only for the Truth."
"There is too little desire to know what is the actual state of mission work in India, and a regard to the showy and attractive rather than to the solid and practical. I will try, however, to avoid being carried away by the tide, and to set myself the task of giving as plain and unvarnished a statement as possible of what is actually being done or not done in the great field of our foreign labour."
"There is a lack of genuine interest in understanding the real situation of mission work in India, focusing more on the flashy and appealing rather than the meaningful and practical. I will, however, try to resist going with the flow and will aim to provide a straightforward and honest account of what is really happening or not happening in the vast area of our overseas efforts."
This, the book, has tried to tell the Truth. That is all it has to say about itself. The quotations which head the chapters, and which are meant to be read, not skipped, are more worthful than anything else in it. They are chosen from the writings of missionaries, who saw the Truth and who told it.
This book has attempted to convey the Truth. That’s all it has to say about itself. The quotes at the beginning of the chapters, which are meant to be read and not overlooked, hold more value than anything else in it. They are selected from the writings of missionaries who recognized the Truth and shared it.
The story covers about two years. We had come from the eastern side of this South Indian district, to work for awhile in the south of the South, the farthest southern outpost of the C.M.S. in India. Chapter II. plunges into the middle of the beginning. The Band Sisters are the members of a small Women's Itinerating Band; the girls mentioned by translated names are the young convert-girls who are with us; the Iyer is Rev. T. Walker; the Ammal is Mrs. Walker; the Missie Ammal explains itself.
The story takes place over about two years. We had traveled from the eastern side of this South Indian district to work for a bit in the far south, the most southern outpost of the C.M.S. in India. Chapter II plunges into the middle of the beginning. The Band Sisters are part of a small Women’s Itinerating Band; the girls referred to by translated names are the young convert girls who are with us; the Iyer is Rev. T. Walker; the Ammal is Mrs. Walker; the Missie Ammal explains itself.
The Picture-catching Missie Ammal is the friend who proposed the book's making. This is her Tamil name, given because it describes her as she struck the Tamil mind. The pictures she caught were not easy to catch. Reserved and conservative India considered the camera intrusive, and we were often foiled in getting what we most desired. Even where we were allowed to catch our object peaceably, it was a case of working under difficulties which would have daunted a less ardent[3] picture-catcher. Wherever the camera was set up, there swarms of children sprang into being, burrowed in and out like rabbits, and scuttled about over everything, to the confusion of the poor artist, who had to fix focus and look after the safety of her camera legs at the same time, while the second Missie Ammal held an umbrella over her head, and the third exhorted the picture, which speedily got restive, to sit still. So much for the mere mechanical.
The picture-capturing Missie Ammal is the friend who suggested creating the book. This is her Tamil name, given because it aptly describes her impact on the Tamil community. The pictures she captured were not easy to get. Reserved and traditional India saw the camera as intrusive, and we often struggled to get what we most wanted. Even when we were allowed to photograph peacefully, it was a challenge that would have discouraged a less passionate picture-taker. Whenever the camera was set up, swarms of children appeared, darting in and out like rabbits, and running around everywhere, adding to the confusion for the poor artist, who had to adjust the focus while also ensuring her camera's safety. Meanwhile, the second Missie Ammal held an umbrella over her head, and the third encouraged the restless subject to sit still. That’s just the mechanical side of it.
Finally, I should explain the book's character. "Tell about things as they actually are"; so said the Two with emphasis. I tried, but the Actual eluded me. It was as if one painted smoke, and then, pointing to the feeble blur, said, "Look at the battle! 'the smoking hell of battle!' There is the smoke!" The Poet's thought was not this, I know, when she coined that suggestive phrase, "The Dust of the Actual," but it has been the predominating thought in my mind, for it holds that which defines the scope and expresses the purpose of the book, and I use it as the title of one of the chapters. It does not show the Actual. Principalities, Powers, Rulers of the Darkness, Potentialities unknown and unimagined, gathered up into one stupendous Force—we have never seen it. How can we describe it? What we have seen and tried to describe is only an indication of Something undescribed, and is as nothing in comparison with it—as Dust in comparison with the Actual. The book's scope, then, is bounded by this: it only touches the Dust; but its purpose goes deeper, stretches wider, has to do with the Actual and our relation to it.
Finally, I should explain the character of the book. "Talk about things as they really are," the Two emphasized. I tried, but the Actual slipped away from me. It felt like painting smoke and then pointing to the faint blur, saying, "Look at the battle! 'the smoking hell of battle!' There is the smoke!" I know this wasn't what the Poet meant when she came up with the phrase "The Dust of the Actual," but it's been the main thought in my mind because it captures what defines the scope and purpose of the book, and I use it as the title of one of the chapters. It doesn't show the Actual. Principalities, Powers, Rulers of Darkness, unknown and unimaginable Potentialities gathered into one tremendous Force—we have never seen it. How can we describe it? What we have seen and tried to describe is just a hint of Something that remains undescribed, and is insignificant in comparison with it—like Dust compared to the Actual. The book's scope, then, is limited to this: it only touches the Dust; but its purpose goes deeper, broader, and relates to the Actual and our connection to it.
But in touching the Dust we touch the outworkings[4] of an Energy so awful in operation that descriptive chapters are awful too. And such chapters are best read alone in some quiet place with God. For the book is a battle-book, written from a battle-field where the fighting is not pretty play but stern reality; and almost every page looks straight from the place where Charles Kingsley stood when he wrote—
But by touching the Dust, we engage with the manifestations[4] of a force so intense in its workings that even descriptions of it can be overwhelming. These chapters are best read alone in a quiet space with God. This book is a battle-book, crafted from a battlefield where the struggle isn't a game, but harsh reality; and nearly every page reflects the perspective of Charles Kingsley as he wrote—
Whose air is filled with gathered demons—
Every word we say has countless effects—
Every soul we encounter must go to heaven or hell—
And this is our only opportunity through eternity.
To fall and die, like dead leaves in the underbrush!
Do what you do as if the stakes were heaven,
"And that your final act before judgment day."

CHAPTER II
Three Afternoons off the Track
"They are led captive by Satan at his will in the most quiescent manner."
"They are taken captive by Satan whenever he wants in the most calm way."
"Oh that the Lord would pour out upon them a spirit of deep concern for their souls!"
"Oh, that the Lord would fill them with a genuine concern for their souls!"
"I ask you earnestly to pray that the Gospel may take saving and working effect."
"I sincerely ask you to pray that the Gospel may have a saving and transformative impact."
Crash and tumble went the bandy, a springless construction with a mat roof; bang over stones and slabs of rock, down on one side, up on the other; then both wheels were sharp aslant. But this is usual. On that particular First Afternoon the water was out, which is the South Indian way of saying that the tanks, great lake-like reservoirs, have overflowed and flooded the land. Once we went smoothly down a bank and into a shallow swollen pool, and the water swished in at the lower end and floated our books out quietly. So we had to stop, and fish them up; and then, huddled[6] close at the upper end we sat, somewhat damp, but happy.
Crash and tumble went the wagon, a springless setup with a canvas roof; crashing over stones and slabs of rock, down on one side, up on the other; then both wheels were tilted sharply. But this is normal. On that particular First Afternoon, the water was out, which is South Indian for saying that the tanks, large lake-like reservoirs, had overflowed and flooded the land. Once we smoothly went down a bank and into a shallow swollen pool, and the water rushed in at the lower end, quietly floating our books away. So we had to stop and grab them; and then, huddled close at the upper end, we sat, somewhat damp, but happy.
At last we got to our destination, reached through a lane which then was a stream with quite a swift little current of its own. Cupid's Lake the place is called. We thought the name appropriate. Cupid's Lake is peopled by Castes of various persuasions; we made for the Robber quarter first. The Robber Caste is honourable here; it furnishes our watchmen and the coolies who carry our money. There is good stuff in the Robber Caste people: a valiant people are they, and though they were not prepared for the thing that was coming towards them, they met it with fortitude. A little girl saw it first. One glance at my hat through the end of the cart, and she flew to spread the news—
At last, we arrived at our destination, reached by a path that used to be a stream with a pretty swift current. It's called Cupid's Lake, which we thought was a fitting name. Cupid's Lake is inhabited by different groups; we headed to the Robber quarter first. The Robber group is respected here; they provide our guards and the porters who carry our money. The people in the Robber group are good folks: they're brave, and even though they weren't expecting what was coming their way, they faced it with courage. A little girl spotted it first. Just one look at my hat from the back of the cart, and she ran off to spread the word—
"Oh! everyone come running and see! A great white man is here! Oh what an appalling spectacle! A great white man!"
"Oh! Everyone, come quick and take a look! A great white man is here! What an incredible sight! A great white man!"
Then there was a general rush; children seemed to spring from the ground, all eyes and tongues and astonishment. "She isn't a man!" "He is!" "She isn't!" "He has got a man's turban!" "But look at her seeley!" (Tamil dress.) A woman, and white—it staggered them till the assurances of the Band Sisters prevailed; and they let me into a neighbouring house, out of the sun which made that hat a necessity. Once it was off they lost all fear, and crowded round in the friendliest fashion; but later, one of the Band was amused by hearing me described in full: "Not a man, though great and white, and wearing a white man's turban, too! Was it not an appalling spectacle?" And the old body who was[7] addressed held up both her hands amazed, and hastened off to investigate.
Then there was a general rush; kids seemed to pop up from everywhere, all eyes and mouths wide open in shock. "She isn't a man!" "He is!" "She isn't!" "He's got a man's turban!" "But look at her outfit!" A woman, and white—it blew their minds until the Band Sisters reassured them; and they let me into a nearby house, out of the sun that made that hat a must. Once it was off, they lost all their fear and gathered around in a really friendly way; but later, one of the Band found it funny to hear me described in detail: "Not a man, even though he's tall and white, and wearing a white man's turban, too! Wasn't it a shocking sight?" And the elder woman who was[7] addressed held up both her hands in surprise and hurried off to find out more.
An English magazine told us lately exactly what these poor women think when they see, for the first time in their lives, the lady missionary. They greatly admire her, the article said, and consider her fairer and more divine than anything ever imagined before—which is very nice indeed to read; but here what they say is this: "Was it not an appalling spectacle? A great white man!"
An English magazine recently shared what these unfortunate women think when they see a lady missionary for the first time in their lives. They really admire her, the article mentioned, and view her as more beautiful and divine than anything they’ve ever imagined, which is quite nice to read; however, here's what they say: "Was it not a shocking sight? A big white man!"
And now that the spectacle was safe in the house, the instincts of hospitality urged clean mats and betel. Betel (pronounced beetle) is the leaf of a climbing plant, into which they roll a morsel of areca nut and lime. The whole is made up into a parcel and munched, but not swallowed. This does not sound elegant; neither is the thing. It is one of the minor trials of life to have to sit through the process.
And now that the show was safely inside the house, the instincts of hospitality prompted them to bring out clean mats and betel. Betel (pronounced beetle) is the leaf of a climbing plant, into which they wrap a piece of areca nut and lime. They make it into a little package and chew on it, but don’t swallow it. It doesn’t sound classy; and neither is it. It’s one of life’s minor annoyances to have to sit through the whole process.
We took a leaf or two, but explained that it was not our custom to eat it; and then we answered questions straight off for ten minutes. "What is your Caste?" "Chee!" in a tone of remonstrance, "don't you see she is white? Married or widow? Why no jewels? What relations? Where are they all? Why have you left them and come here? Whatever can be your business here? What does the Government give you for coming here?" These last questions gave us the chance we were watching for, and we began to explain.
We took a leaf or two, but explained that we didn’t usually eat it; and then we answered questions right away for ten minutes. "What’s your caste?" "Chee!" in a disapproving tone, "Can’t you see she’s white? Married or widowed? Why no jewelry? What about your relatives? Where are they all? Why did you leave them and come here? What could possibly bring you here? What does the government give you for coming here?" Those last questions gave us the opening we were waiting for, and we started to explain.
Now what do these people do when, for the first time, they hear the Good Tidings? They simply stare.
Now what do these people do when they hear the Good News for the first time? They just stare.
In that house that day there was an old woman who[8] seemed to understand a little what it was all about. She had probably heard before. But nobody else understood in the least; they did not understand enough to make remarks. They sat round us on the floor and ate betel, as everybody does here in all leisure moments, and they stared.
In that house that day, there was an old woman who[8] seemed to grasp a bit of what was going on. She had probably heard it before. But no one else understood at all; they didn’t understand enough to comment. They sat around us on the floor, chewing betel like everyone does here during their free time, and they just stared.
The one old woman who seemed to understand followed us out of the house, and remarked that it was a good religion but a mistaken one, as it advocated, or resulted in, the destruction of Caste.
The one old woman who seemed to understand followed us out of the house and said that it was a good religion but a misguided one, as it promoted, or led to, the destruction of Caste.
In the next house we found several girls, and tried to persuade the mothers to let them learn to read. If a girl is learning regularly it gives one a sort of right of entrance to the house. One's going there is not so much observed and one gets good chances, but to all our persuasions they only said it was not their custom to allow their girls to learn. Had they to do Government work? Learning was for men who wanted to do Government work. We explained a little, and mentioned the many villages where girls are learning to read. They thought it a wholly ridiculous idea. Then we told them as much as we could in an hour about the great love of Jesus Christ.
In the next house, we found several girls and tried to convince their mothers to let them learn to read. If a girl is learning regularly, it gives you a sort of right to enter that house. Your visits aren’t scrutinized as much, and you get better opportunities, but despite our efforts, they insisted it wasn’t their custom to allow their girls to learn. Did they have to do government work? Learning was for men who wanted to work for the government. We explained a bit and mentioned the many villages where girls are learning to read. They thought it was a completely ridiculous idea. Then we shared as much as we could in an hour about the immense love of Jesus Christ.
I was in the middle of it, and thinking only of it and their souls, when an old lady with fluffy white hair leaned forward and gazed at me with a beautiful, earnest gaze. She did not speak; she just listened and gazed, "drinking it all in." And then she raised a skeleton claw, and grabbed her hair, and pointed to mine. "Are you a widow too," she asked, "that you have no oil on yours?" After a few such experiences that beautiful[9] gaze loses its charm. It really means nothing more nor less than the sweet expression sometimes observed in the eyes of a sorrowful animal.
I was caught up in it, only thinking about it and their souls, when an old lady with fluffy white hair leaned forward and looked at me with a beautiful, sincere gaze. She didn't say anything; she just listened and stared, "taking it all in." Then she raised a bony hand, grabbed her hair, and pointed to mine. "Are you a widow too," she asked, "that you have no oil in yours?" After a few such encounters, that beautiful[9] gaze loses its appeal. It really means nothing more or less than the sweet expression sometimes seen in the eyes of a sad animal.
But her question had set the ball rolling again. "Oil! no oil! Can't you even afford a halfpenny a month to buy good oil? It isn't your custom? Why not? Don't any white Ammals ever use oil? What sort of oil do the girls use? Do you never use castor oil for the hair? Oh, castor oil is excellent!" And they went into many details. The first thing they do when a baby is born is to swing it head downwards, holding its feet, and advise it not to sin; and the second thing is to feed it with castor oil, and put castor oil in its eyes. "Do we do none of these things?" We sang to them. They always like that, and sometimes it touches them: but the Tamils are not easily touched, and could never be described as unduly emotional.
But her question had started everything up again. "Oil! No oil! Can't you even spare a halfpenny a month to buy some good oil? It's not your tradition? Why not? Don't any white people ever use oil? What kind of oil do the girls use? Do you never use castor oil for your hair? Oh, castor oil is great!" And they went into a lot of details. The first thing they do when a baby is born is to hold it upside down by its feet and tell it not to sin; the second thing is to give it castor oil and put castor oil in its eyes. "Do we do any of these things?" We sang to them. They always enjoy that, and sometimes it touches them: but the Tamils aren't easily moved and could never be described as overly emotional.
All through there were constant and various interruptions. Two bulls sauntered in through the open door, and established themselves in their accustomed places; then a cow followed, and somebody went off to tie the animals up. Children came in and wanted attention, babies made their usual noises. We rarely had five consecutive quiet minutes.
All along, there were constant and different interruptions. Two bulls wandered in through the open door and settled into their usual spots; then a cow came in, and someone went off to tie up the animals. Kids came in asking for attention, and babies made their typical noises. We hardly ever had five uninterrupted minutes.
When they seemed to be getting tired of us, we said the time was passing, to which they agreed, and, with a word about hoping to come again, to which they answered cordially, "Oh yes! Come to-morrow!" we went out into the street, and finished up in the open air. There is a tree at one end of the village; we stood under it and sang a chorus and taught the[10] children who had followed us from house to house to sing it, and this attracted some passing grown-ups, who listened while we witnessed unto Jesus, Who had saved us and given us His joy. Nothing tells more than just this simple witness. To hear one of their own people saying, with evident sincerity, "One thing I know, that whereas I was blind now I see," makes them look at each other and nod their heads sympathetically. This is something that appeals, something they can appreciate; many a time it arrests attention when nothing else would.
When it seemed like they were getting tired of us, we mentioned that time was passing, and they agreed. After we said we hoped to come back, they cheerfully replied, “Oh yes! Come tomorrow!” We then stepped out into the street and ended up outside. There’s a tree at one end of the village; we stood under it and sang a chorus, teaching the children who had followed us from house to house to sing along. This caught the attention of some passing adults who listened while we shared our testimony about Jesus, who saved us and filled us with His joy. Nothing communicates more than this simple testimony. When one of their own shares, with genuine sincerity, “One thing I know, that whereas I was blind now I see,” it makes them look at each other and nod in understanding. This resonates with them; it’s something they can relate to. Many times, it captures their attention when nothing else would.

We were thoroughly tired by this time, and could neither talk nor sing any more. The crowd melted—all but the children, who never melt—one by one going their respective ways, having heard, some of them, for the first time. What difference will it make in their lives? Did they understand it? None of them seemed specially interested, none of them said anything interesting. The last question I heard was about soap—"What sort of soap do you use to make your skin white?" Most of them would far prefer to be told that secret than how to get a white heart.
We were completely exhausted by this point and couldn’t talk or sing anymore. The crowd dispersed, except for the children, who never really leave — each one heading off in their own direction, some of them having heard for the first time. What difference will it make in their lives? Did they truly understand? None of them seemed particularly interested, and no one said anything noteworthy. The last question I heard was about soap — "What kind of soap do you use to make your skin white?" Most of them would much rather hear that secret than how to have a pure heart.
Afternoon Number Two found us in the Village of the Temple, a tumble-down little place, but a very citadel of pride and the arrogance of ignorance. We did not know that at first, of course, but we very soon found it out. There was the usual skirmish at the sight of a live white woman; no one there had seen such a curiosity. But even curiosity could not draw the Brahmans. They live in a single straggling street, and would not let us in. "Go!" said a fat old Brahman[11] disdainfully; "no white man has ever trodden our street, and no white woman shall. As for that low-caste child with you"—Victory looked up in her gentle way, and he varied it to—"that child who eats with those low-caste people—she shall not speak to one of our women. Go by the way you have come!"
Afternoon Number Two found us in the Village of the Temple, a rundown little place, but a stronghold of pride and ignorance. We didn't realize that at first, of course, but we figured it out quickly. There was the usual commotion at the sight of a live white woman; no one there had seen such a rarity. But even curiosity couldn't lure the Brahmans. They lived in a long, winding street and wouldn’t let us in. "Go!" said a plump old Brahman disdainfully; "no white man has ever walked our street, and no white woman will. As for that low-caste child with you"—Victory looked up in her gentle way, and he adjusted it to—"that child who eats with those low-caste people—she shall not speak to any of our women. Go back the way you came!"
This was not encouraging. We salaamed and departed, and went to our bandy left outside ("low-caste bandies" are not allowed to drive down Brahman streets), and asked our Master to open another door. While we were waiting, a tall, fine-looking Hindu came and said, "Will you come to my house? I will show you the way." So we went.
This was not encouraging. We bowed and left, made our way to our rickshaw waiting outside ("low-caste rickshaws" aren't allowed in Brahman streets), and asked our driver to open another door. While we were waiting, a tall, good-looking Hindu approached us and said, "Will you come to my house? I’ll show you the way." So we went.
He led us to the Vellala quarter next to the Brahmans, and we found his house was the great house of the place. The outer door opened into a large square inner courtyard. A wide verandah, supported by pillars quaintly carved, ran round it. The women's rooms, low and windowless, opened on either side; these are the rooms we rejoice to get into, and now we were led right in.
He took us to the Vellala neighborhood next to the Brahmans, and we discovered that his house was the biggest in the area. The outer door opened into a spacious square courtyard. A wide verandah, held up by charmingly carved pillars, wrapped around it. The women's rooms, small and without windows, were located on either side; these are the rooms we were excited to enter, and now we were taken straight inside.
But first I had to talk to the men. They were regular Caste Hindus; courteous—for they have had no cause to fear the power of the Gospel—yet keen and argumentative. One of them had evidently read a good deal. He quoted from their classics; knew all about Mrs. Besant and the latest pervert to her views; and was up in the bewildering tangle of thought known as Hindu Philosophy. "Fog-wreaths of doubt, in blinding eddies drifted"—that is what it really is, but it is very difficult to prove it so.[12]
But first, I needed to talk to the men. They were typical Caste Hindus; polite—since they had no reason to fear the influence of the Gospel—yet sharp and argumentative. One of them had clearly read a lot. He quoted from their classics, knew all about Mrs. Besant and the latest person who changed their views, and was knowledgeable about the complex maze of thought known as Hindu Philosophy. "Fog-wreaths of doubt, in blinding eddies drifted"—that's what it really is, but proving it can be quite challenging.[12]
One truth struck him especially—Christianity is the only religion which provides a way by which there is deliverance from sin now. There is a certain system of philosophy which professes to provide deliverance in the future, when the soul, having passed through the first three stages of bliss, loses its identity and becomes absorbed in God; but there is no way by which deliverance can be obtained here and now. "Sin shall not have dominion over you"—there is no such line as this in all the million stanzas of the Hindu classics. He admitted this freely, admitted that this one tenet marked out Christianity as a unique religion; but he did not go on further; he showed no desire to prove the truth of it.
One truth particularly stood out to him—Christianity is the only religion that offers a way to be freed from sin now. There’s a certain philosophy that claims to provide liberation in the future, when the soul, after going through the first three stages of bliss, loses its identity and merges with God; however, there’s no way to achieve deliverance in the present. "Sin shall not have dominion over you"—there isn't a line like this in all the countless stanzas of Hindu texts. He acknowledged this openly, recognizing that this one belief set Christianity apart as a unique religion; but he didn’t delve any deeper; he showed no interest in proving its truth.
After this they let us go to the women, who had all this time been watching us, and discussing us with interest.
After that, they allowed us to join the women, who had been watching us the whole time and talking about us with interest.
Once safely into their inner room, we sat down on the floor in the midst of them, and began to make friends. There was a grandmother who had heard that white people were not white all over, but piebald, so to speak; might she examine me? There were several matronly women who wanted to know what arrangements English parents made concerning their daughters' marriages. There were the usual widows of a large Indian household—one always looks at them with a special longing; and there was a dear young girl, in a soft blue seeley (Tamil dress), her ears clustered about with pearls, and her neck laden with five or six necklets worth some hundreds of rupees. She was going to be married; and beyond the usual gentle courtesy of a well-brought-up[13] Tamil girl, showed no interest in us. Almost all the women had questions to ask. On the track it is different; they have already satisfied their lawful curiosity concerning Missie Ammals; but here they have not had the chance; and if we ignore their desires, we defeat our own. They may seem to listen, but they are really occupied in wondering about us. We got them to listen finally, and left them, cheered by warm invitations to return.
Once we were safely inside their room, we sat down on the floor among them and started to connect. There was a grandmother who had heard that white people weren’t completely white, but more like a mix of colors; could she check me out? Several matronly women wanted to know how English parents handle their daughters’ marriages. There were the usual widows from a big Indian household—people always look at them with a special kind of longing; and there was a lovely young girl in a soft blue seeley (Tamil dress), her ears adorned with pearls and her neck heavy with five or six necklaces worth hundreds of rupees. She was about to get married, and aside from the usual polite demeanor of a well-raised Tamil girl, she didn't seem interested in us. Almost all the women had questions to ask. On the track, it’s different; they’ve already satisfied their curiosity about Missie Ammals; but here they hadn't had that opportunity yet, and if we disregard their questions, we hurt our own chances. They might appear to listen, but they are really busy wondering about us. Eventually, we got them to pay attention and left feeling uplifted by their warm invitations to come back.
Then we thought of the poor proud Brahmans, and hoping that, perhaps, in the interval they had inquired about us, and would let us in, we went to them again. We could see the fair faces and slender forms of the younger Brahman women standing in the shadow behind their verandah pillars, and some of them looked as if they would like to let us in, but the street had not relented; and a Brahman street is like a house—you cannot go in unless you are allowed.
Then we thought about the proud Brahmans and hoped that, maybe during the time we were away, they had asked about us and would let us in. We approached them again. We could see the pretty faces and slender figures of the younger Brahman women standing in the shade behind their verandah pillars. Some of them looked like they wanted to let us in, but the street hadn’t changed; a Brahman street is like a house—you can’t enter unless you’re allowed.
There was one kind-faced, courtly old man, and he seemed to sympathise with us, for he left the mocking group of men, and came to see us off; and then, as if to divert us from the greater topic, he pointed to one of the mountains, a spur of the God King's mountain, famous in all South India, and volunteered to tell me its story. We were glad to make friends with him even over so small a thing as a mountain; but he would speak of nothing else, and when he left us we felt baffled and sorry, and tired with the tiredness that comes when you cannot give your message; and we sat down on a rock outside the Brahman street, to wait till the Band Sisters gathered for the homeward walk.[14]
There was a kind-faced, dignified old man who seemed to empathize with us. He left the mocking group of men and came over to see us off. Then, as if to distract us from the larger issue, he pointed to one of the mountains, a part of the God King's mountain, which is famous throughout South India, and offered to share its story. We were happy to connect with him, even over something as simple as a mountain, but he wouldn't talk about anything else. When he finally left us, we felt frustrated, disappointed, and drained, experiencing that fatigue that comes when you can't express what you need to say. We sat down on a rock outside the Brahman street, waiting for the Band Sisters to gather for the walk home.[14]
It was sunset time, and the sky was overcast by dull grey clouds; but just over the Brahman quarter there was a rift in the grey, and the pent-up gold shone through. It seemed as if God were pouring out His beauty upon those Brahmans, trying to make them look up, and they would not. One by one we saw them go to their different courtyards, where the golden glow could not reach them, and we heard them shut their great heavy doors, as if they were shutting Him out.
It was sunset, and the sky was covered with dull gray clouds; but just over the Brahman quarter, there was a break in the gray, and the trapped gold shone through. It felt like God was sharing His beauty with those Brahmans, encouraging them to look up, but they wouldn’t. One by one, we watched them head to their different courtyards, where the golden glow couldn’t reach them, and we heard them close their heavy doors, as if they were shutting Him out.
In there it was dark; out here, out with God, it was light. The after-glow, that loveliest glow of the East, was shining through the rent of the clouds, and the red-tiled roofs and the scarlet flowers of the Flame of the Forest, and every tint and colour which would respond in any way, were aglow with the beauty of it. The Brahman quarter was set in the deep green of shadowy trees; just behind it the mountains rose outlined in mist, and out of the mist a waterfall gleamed white against blue.
In there, it was dark; out here, with God, it was light. The afterglow, that beautiful glow of the East, was shining through the gaps in the clouds, lighting up the red-tiled roofs and the bright flowers of the Flame of the Forest, along with every color that could reflect its beauty. The Brahman quarter was nestled in the deep green of shady trees; just behind it, the mountains rose, outlined in mist, and out of the mist, a waterfall sparkled white against the blue.
We spent Afternoon Number Three in the Village of the Warrior, a lonely little place, left all by itself on a great rough moorland—if you can call a patch of bare land "moor" which is destitute of heather, and grows palms and scrub in clumps instead. It took us rather a long time to get to it, over very broken ground on a very hot day; but when we did get there we found such a good opening that we forgot about our feelings, and entered in rejoicing. There were some little children playing at the entrance to the village, and they led us straight to their own house, making friends in the most charming way as[15] they trotted along beside us. They told us their family history, and we told them as much of ours as was necessary, and they introduced us to their mothers as old acquaintances. The mothers were indulgent, and let us have a room all to ourselves in the inner courtyard, where a dozen or more children gathered and listened with refreshing zest. They understood, dear little things, though so often their elders did not.
We spent Afternoon Number Three in the Village of the Warrior, a lonely little place, sitting all by itself on a vast rough moorland—if you can call a patch of bare land "moor" that's without heather and has palms and scrub in clumps instead. It took us quite a while to reach it, over very uneven ground on a really hot day; but when we finally got there, we found such a good spot that we forgot about our feelings and entered in joy. There were some little kids playing at the entrance to the village, and they led us straight to their house, making friends in the most charming way as[15] they trotted along beside us. They shared their family history, and we told them as much of ours as was needed, and they introduced us to their moms as old friends. The moms were easygoing and let us have a room all to ourselves in the inner courtyard, where a dozen or more kids gathered and listened with refreshing enthusiasm. They understood, dear little ones, even though so often their elders did not.
Then the mothers got interested, and sat about the door. The girls were with me. (We usually divide into two parties; the elder and more experienced Sisters go off in one direction, and the young convert-girls come with me.) And before long, Jewel of Victory was telling out of a full heart all about the great things God had done for her. She has a very sweet way with the women, and they listened fascinated. Then the others spoke, and still those women listened. They were more intelligent than our audience of yesterday; and though they did not follow nearly all, they listened splendidly to the story-part of our message. In the meaning, as is often the case, their interest was simply nil.
Then the mothers got interested and sat by the door. The girls were with me. (We usually split into two groups; the older and more experienced Sisters go one way, and the young convert-girls come with me.) Before long, Jewel of Victory was sharing from her full heart all the amazing things God had done for her. She has a really sweet way with the women, and they listened, captivated. Then the others spoke, and those women kept listening. They were more educated than our audience from yesterday; although they didn’t grasp everything, they listened really well to the storytelling part of our message. As is often the case, their interest in the meaning was pretty much nonexistent.
But we were sorry, and I think so were they, when a commotion outside disturbed us, and we were sorrier when we knew the cause. The village postman, who only visits these out-of-the-way places once a week, had appeared with a letter for the head of the house. One of the men folk had read it. It told of the death of the son in foreign parts—Madras, I think—and the poor old mother's one desire was to see us out of the room. She had not liked to turn us out; but, as the news spread, more women gathered clamouring round the door; and the[16] moment we left the room empty, in they rushed, with the mother and the women who had listened to us, and flinging themselves on the floor, cried the Tamil cry of sorrow, full of a pathos of its own: "Ai-yō! Ai-yō! Ai-Ai-yō!"
But we felt bad, and I think they did too, when a commotion outside interrupted us, and we felt even worse when we found out why. The village postman, who only comes to these remote places once a week, had shown up with a letter for the head of the household. One of the men had read it. It informed them of the death of their son in a foreign country—Madras, I think—and the poor old mother’s only wish was to get us out of the room. She hadn’t wanted to kick us out; but as the news spread, more women gathered, clamoring around the door; and the[16] moment we left the room empty, they rushed in, along with the mother and the women who had listened to us, and throwing themselves on the floor, they cried the Tamil cry of sorrow, filled with its own deep emotion: "Ai-yō! Ai-yō! Ai-Ai-yō!"
It was sad to leave them crying so, but at that moment we were certainly better away. The children came with us to the well outside the village, and we sat on its wall and went on with our talk. They would hardly let us go, and begged us to come back and "teach them every day," not the Gospel—do not imagine their little hearts craved for that—but reading and writing and sums! As we drove off some of the villagers smiled and salaamed, and the little children's last words followed us as far as we could hear them: "Come back soon!"
It was heartbreaking to leave them crying like that, but at that moment, it was definitely better for us to be gone. The kids came with us to the well outside the village, and we sat on its wall and continued our conversation. They barely let us leave and begged us to come back and "teach them every day," not the Gospel—don’t think their little hearts wanted that—but reading, writing, and math! As we drove away, some of the villagers smiled and bowed, and the last words from the little kids followed us as far as we could hear: "Come back soon!"
Sometimes, as now, when we come to a new place, we dream a dream, dream that perhaps at last it may be possible to win souls peacefully. Perhaps these courteous, kindly people will welcome the message we bring them when they understand it better. Perhaps homes need not be broken up, perhaps whole families will believe, or individual members believing may still live in their own homes and witness there. Perhaps—perhaps—! And snatches of verse float through our dream—
Sometimes, like now, when we arrive at a new place, we have a dream, a dream that maybe, finally, it’s possible to win people over peacefully. Maybe these polite, kind folks will embrace the message we share once they understand it better. Maybe homes don’t have to be torn apart; perhaps entire families will believe, or individual members who believe can still live in their own homes and share their faith there. Maybe—maybe—! And bits of poetry drift through our dream—
A joyful, sweet song,
Guide through the fog and into the darkness,
"Lost ones at Your feet!"
It sounds so beautiful, so easy, singing souls to Jesus. And we dream our dream.
It sounds so beautiful, so simple, bringing souls to Jesus. And we dream our dream.
Till suddenly and with violence we are awakened.[17] Someone—a mere girl, or a lad, or even a little child—has believed, has confessed, wants to be a Christian. And the whole Caste is roused, and the whole countryside joins with the Caste; and the people we almost thought loved us, hate us. And till we go to the next new place we never dream that dream again.
Till suddenly and violently, we are awakened.[17] Someone—a girl, a boy, or even a little child—has believed, has confessed, wants to be a Christian. The entire Caste is stirred up, and the whole countryside joins in with the Caste; the people we thought almost loved us now hate us. And until we move to the next new place, we never dream that dream again.
CHAPTER III
Humdrum
"A missionary's life is more ordinary than is supposed. Plod rather than cleverness is often the best missionary equipment."
"A missionary's life is more typical than people think. Steadiness rather than cleverness is often the best tool for a missionary."
"Truly to understand the facts of work for Christ in any land, we must strip it of all romance, and of everything which is unreal."
"To genuinely understand the realities of working for Christ in any country, we need to remove all the romantic notions and everything that isn’t real."
One evening things came to a climax. We all spent a whole afternoon without getting one good listener. We separated as usual, going two and two to the different quarters of a big sleepy straggly village. Life and I went to the potters. Life spoke most earnestly and well to an uninterested group of women. After she had finished one of them pointed to my hat (the only foreign thing about me which was visible—oh that I could dispense with it!). "What is that?" she said. Not one bit did they care to hear. One by one they went back to their work, and we were left alone.
One evening, things reached a breaking point. We spent the entire afternoon without finding a single good listener. We broke off into pairs, heading to different parts of a big, sleepy village. Life and I went to see the potters. Life spoke earnestly and eloquently to a group of women who clearly weren’t interested. When she finished, one of them pointed to my hat (the only foreign thing about me that was visible—oh, how I wished I could get rid of it!). "What is that?" she asked. They didn’t care to listen at all. One by one, they returned to their work, leaving us on our own.
We went to another quarter. It was just the same. At a rest-house by the way I noticed a Brahman, and went to see if he would listen. He would if I would[19] talk "about politics or education, but not if it was about religion." However, I did get a chance of pleading with him to consider the question of his soul's salvation, and he took a book and said he would read it at his leisure. And then he asked me how many persons I had succeeded in joining to my Way since I began to try. It was exactly the question, only asked in another form, which the devil had been pressing on me all the afternoon. After this he told me politely that we were knocking our heads against a rock; we might smash our heads, but we never would affect the rock.
We went to another area. It was exactly the same. At a rest-stop along the way, I noticed a Brahman and went to see if he would listen. He would if I talked "about politics or education, but not if it was about religion." Still, I got the chance to urge him to think about his soul's salvation, and he picked up a book and said he would read it when he had the time. Then he asked me how many people I had managed to bring to my Way since I started trying. It was the exact question—just phrased differently—that the devil had been pushing on me all afternoon. After that, he politely told me that we were banging our heads against a wall; we might hurt ourselves, but we would never change the wall.
"Rock! Rock! when wilt thou open?" It is an old cry; I cried it afresh. But the Brahman only smiled, and then with a gesture expressing at once his sense of his own condescension in speaking with me, and his utter contempt for the faith I held, motioned to me to go.
"Rock! Rock! when will you open?" It's an old cry; I cried it out again. But the Brahman just smiled, and then with a gesture that showed both his condescension in talking to me and his complete disdain for my beliefs, he signaled for me to leave.
Outside in the road a number of Hindus were standing; some of them were his retainers and friends. I heard them say, as I passed through their midst, "Who will fall into the pit of the Christian Way!" And they laughed, and the Brahman laughed. "As the filth of the world, the offscouring of all things, unto this day."
Outside on the road, a group of Hindus were standing; some of them were his followers and friends. I heard them say as I walked through them, "Who would embrace the trap of the Christian Way!" And they laughed, and the Brahman laughed. "Like the dirt of the world, the refuse of all things, even now."
We walked along the road bordered with beautiful banyan trees. We sat down under their shade, and waited for what would come. Some little children followed us, but before we could get a single idea clearly into their heads a man came and chased them away. "It is getting dark," he said. "They are only little green things; they must not be out late." It was broad daylight then, and would be for another hour. Some coolies[20] passing that way stopped to look at us; but before they had time to get interested they too remarked that darkness was coming, and they must be off, and off they went.
We walked along the road lined with beautiful banyan trees. We sat down in their shade and waited for what would happen next. Some little kids followed us, but before we could explain anything to them, a man came and chased them away. "It's getting dark," he said. "They're just little kids; they shouldn't be out late." It was still broad daylight, and it would be for another hour. A few workers passing by stopped to look at us, but before they got too curious, they also said that it was getting dark, and they needed to leave, so they went on their way.
We were left alone after that. Within five minutes' walk were at least five hundred souls, redeemed, but they don't know it; redeemed, but they don't want to know it. Sometimes they seem to want to know, but however tenderly you tell it, the keen Hindu mind soon perceives the drift of it all—Redemption must mean loss of Caste. One day last week I was visiting in the Village of the Red Lake. Standing in one of its courtyards you see the Western Ghauts rising straight up behind. The Red Lake lies at the mountain foot; we call it Derwentwater, but there are palms and bamboos, and there is no Friar's Crag.
We were left alone after that. Within a five-minute walk, there were at least five hundred people, saved, but they don't know it; saved, but they don't want to know it. Sometimes they seem curious, but no matter how gently you explain it, the sharp Hindu mind quickly realizes the implication—Redemption must mean losing Caste. One day last week, I was visiting the Village of the Red Lake. Standing in one of its courtyards, you can see the Western Ghauts rising straight up behind. The Red Lake lies at the foot of the mountain; we call it Derwentwater, but there are palms and bamboos, and there is no Friar's Crag.
That afternoon I was bound for a house in the centre of the village, when an old lady called me to come to her house, and I followed her gladly. There were six or eight women all more or less willing to listen; among them were two who were very old. Old people in India are usually too attached to their own faith, or too utterly stupid and dull, to care to hear about another; but this old lady had been stirred to something almost like active thought by the recent death of a relative, and she felt that she needed something more than she had to make her ready for death. She was apparently devout. Ashes were marked on her brow and arms, and she wore a very large rosary. It is worn to accumulate merit. I did not refer to it as I talked, but in some dim way she seemed to feel it did not fit with what I was saying, for,[21] with trembling hands, she took it off and threw it to a child. I hoped this meant something definite, and tried to lead her to Jesus. But as soon as she understood Who He was, she drew back. "I cannot be a disciple of your Guru, here," she said; "would my relations bear such defilement?" Being a Christian really meant sooner or later leaving her home and all her people for ever. Can you wonder an old lady of perhaps seventy-five stopped at that?
That afternoon, I was headed to a house in the center of the village when an old lady asked me to come to her home, and I gladly followed her. There were six or eight women, all somewhat willing to listen; among them were two who were very elderly. In India, older people are usually too attached to their own beliefs or simply too dull to care about learning about others; however, this old lady had been stirred to a kind of active thinking by the recent death of a relative, and she felt she needed something more than what she had to prepare for death. She seemed to be devout. Ashes were marked on her forehead and arms, and she wore a very large rosary. It is worn to collect merit. I didn't mention it while I spoke, but in some vague way, she seemed to sense that it didn't align with what I was saying, so, [21] with shaking hands, she took it off and tossed it to a child. I hoped this indicated something significant and tried to guide her to Jesus. But as soon as she understood who He was, she withdrew. "I cannot be a disciple of your Guru here," she said; "would my family accept such defilement?" Being a Christian truly meant eventually leaving her home and all her loved ones forever. Can you blame an old lady of perhaps seventy-five for hesitating at that?
The little children in the Village of the Warrior are not allowed to learn. The men of the place have consulted and come to the decision. The chill of it has struck the little ones, and they do not care to run the chance of the scolding they would receive if they showed too much interest in us. The mothers are as friendly as ever, but indifferent. "We hear this is a religion which spoils our Caste," they say, and that is the end of it. In the great house of the Temple Village they listened well for some weeks. Then, as it gradually opened to them that there is no Caste whatever in Christianity, their interest died.
The little kids in the Village of the Warrior aren’t allowed to learn. The men of the village have talked it over and made this decision. The kids have felt the impact of this and are hesitant to risk getting scolded for showing too much interest in us. The mothers are still friendly, but indifferent. “We’ve heard this is a religion that ruins our Caste,” they say, and that’s where it ends. In the big house of the Temple Village, they listened intently for a few weeks. Then, as they slowly realized that Christianity doesn’t have any Caste at all, their interest faded.
How much one would like to tell a different story! But a made-up story is one thing and a story of facts is another. So far we have only found two genuine earnest souls here. But if those two go on—! Praise God for the joy on before!
How much we would love to tell a different story! But a fictional story is one thing, and a true story is another. So far, we have only found two genuinely sincere people here. But if those two keep it up—! Thank God for the joy ahead!
We went again to the potters' village and sat on the narrow verandah and talked to a girl as she patted the pots into shape underneath where the wheel had left an open place. She listened for awhile; then she said, "If I come to your Way will you give me a new seeley[22] and good curry every day?" And back again we went to the very beginning of things, while the old grandfather spinning his wheel chuckled at us for our folly in wasting our time over potters. "As if we would ever turn to your religion!" he said. "Have you ever heard of a potter who changed his Caste?"
We went back to the potters' village and sat on the narrow porch, chatting with a girl as she shaped the pots where the wheel had left them unfinished. She listened for a bit, then asked, "If I join your Way, will you give me a new dress[22] and good curry every day?" And once more, we went back to the very beginnings, while the old grandfather, spinning his wheel, laughed at us for wasting our time with potters. "As if we would ever adopt your religion!" he said. "Have you ever heard of a potter who changed his caste?"
Caste and religion! They are so mixed up that we do not know how to unmix them. His Caste to the potter meant his trade, the trade of his clan for generations; it meant all the observances bound up with it; it meant, in short, his life. It would never strike him that he could be a Christian and a potter at the same time, and very probably he could not; the feeling of the Caste would be against it. Then what else could he be? He does not argue all this out; he does not care enough about the matter to take the trouble to think at all. He has only one concern in life—he lives to make pots and sell them, and make more and sell them, and so eat and sleep in peace.
Caste and religion! They’re so intertwined that we don’t know how to separate them. For the potter, his caste represented his trade, the craft of his family for generations; it encompassed all the customs connected with it; in short, it was his life. It would never occur to him that he could be both a Christian and a potter at the same time, and most likely he couldn’t; the values of his caste would be opposed to it. So what else could he be? He doesn’t deliberate on this; he doesn’t care enough about the issue to bother thinking at all. His only focus in life is to make pots, sell them, make more, sell those, and then eat and sleep in peace.
But the girl had the look of more possibility; she asked questions and seemed interested, and finally suggested we should wait till she had finished her batch of pots, and then she would "tell us all her mind." So we waited and watched the deft brown hands as they worked round the gaping hole till it grew together and closed; and at last she had finished. Then she drew us away from the group of curious children, and told us if we would come in three days she would be prepared to join our Way and come with us, for she had to work very hard at home, and her food was poor and her seeley old, and she thought it would be worth risking the wrath[23] of her people to get all she knew we should give her if she came; and this was all her mind.
But the girl seemed to have more potential; she asked questions and appeared interested, and finally suggested we wait until she finished making her batch of pots, and then she would "share everything on her mind." So we waited and watched her skilled brown hands as they worked around the gaping hole until it came together and closed; and at last, she was done. Then she pulled us away from the group of curious children and told us that if we came back in three days, she would be ready to join our Way and come with us, because she had to work very hard at home, her food was poor, and her family was old, and she thought it would be worth risking her people's anger to gain everything she knew we could offer her if she came; and that was everything on her mind.
She had touched a great perplexity. How are we to live in India without raising desires of this sort? It is true the Brahmans look down upon us, and the higher Castes certainly do not look up, but to the greater number of the people we seem rich and grand and desirable to cultivate. The Ulterior-Object-Society is a fact in South India. We may banish expensive-looking things from our tables, and all pictures and ornaments from our walls, and confine ourselves to texts. This certainly helps; there is less to distract the attention of the people when they come to see us, and we have so many the fewer things to take care of—a very great advantage—but it does not go far towards disillusioning them as to what they imagine is our true position. We are still up above to them; not on a level, not one of themselves.
She was facing a big dilemma. How do we live in India without sparking desires like this? It’s true that the Brahmans look down on us, and the higher castes definitely don’t see us as equals, but to most people, we appear wealthy, impressive, and worth emulating. The Ulterior-Object-Society is a reality in South India. We can remove expensive-looking items from our tables and take down all pictures and decorations from our walls, focusing only on texts. This certainly helps; there’s less to distract visitors when they come to see us, and we have fewer things to take care of—a huge advantage—but it doesn’t go far in changing their beliefs about our actual status. We still seem superior to them; we’re not on the same level, not one of them.
The houses we live in are airy and large, and they do not understand the need of protection from the sun. The food we eat is abundant and good, and to them it looks luxurious, for they live on rice and vegetable curry, at a cost of twopence a day. Our walls may be bare, but they are clean, and the texts aforesaid are not torn at the corners; so, whatever we say, we are rich.
The houses we live in are spacious and full of air, and they don't see the need for shade from the sun. The food we eat is plentiful and tasty, and to them it seems extravagant, since they survive on rice and vegetable curry for just two pence a day. Our walls might be empty, but they are clean, and the mentioned texts are not frayed at the edges; so, no matter what we say, we are wealthy.
Identification with the people whom we have come to win is the aim of many a missionary, but the difficulty always is the same—climate and customs are dead against it; how can we do it? George Bowen struck at English life and became a true Indian, so far as he could, but even he could not go all the way. No matter how far you may go, there is always a distance you[24] cannot cover—yards or inches it may be, but always that fatal hiatus. We seem so undeniably up, far up above them in everything, and we want to get to the lowest step down, low enough down to lift lost souls up.
Identification with the people we aim to reach is the goal of many missionaries, but the challenge always remains the same—climate and customs stand in the way; how can we achieve this? George Bowen targeted English life and tried to become a true Indian as much as he could, but even he couldn't fully succeed. No matter how far you go, there's always a gap you[24] can’t bridge—whether it’s yards or inches, there will always be that crucial divide. We seem so undeniably above them in everything, and we want to get to the lowest step down, low enough to lift lost souls up.

On and on, if they will let us, time after time, by text and hymn and story, we have to explain what things really mean before they are able to understand even a fraction of the truth. The fact that this girl had thought enough to get her ideas into shape was encouraging, and with such slender cause for hope we still hoped. But when after some weeks' visiting she began to see that the question was not one of curries and seeleys but of inward invisible gifts, her interest died, and she was "out" when we went, or too busy patting her pots to have time to listen to us.
On and on, if they'll let us, time after time, through text, hymns, and stories, we have to clarify what things really mean before they can grasp even a little of the truth. The fact that this girl had thought enough to organize her ideas was encouraging, and with such little reason for hope, we still hoped. But after a few weeks of visiting, when she started to realize that the question wasn't about curries and seeleys but about inner, invisible gifts, her interest faded, and she was "out" when we came by, or too busy tending to her pots to have time to listen to us.
Humdrum we have called the work, and humdrum it is. There is nothing romantic about potters except in poetry, nor is there much of romance about missions except on platforms and in books. Yet "though it's dull at whiles," there is joy in the doing of it, there is joy in just obeying. He said "Go, tell," and we have come and are telling, and we meet Him as we "go and tell."
Boring is what we've called the work, and boring it is. There’s nothing romantic about potters except in poetry, and there isn’t much romance about missions except on stage and in books. Yet "even though it gets dull sometimes," there’s joy in doing it, there’s joy in simply obeying. He said "Go, tell," and we’ve come and are telling, and we meet Him as we "go and tell."
But, dear friends, do not, we entreat you, expect to hear of us doing great things, as an everyday matter of course. Our aim is great—it is India for Christ! and before the gods in possession here, we sing songs unto Him. But what we say to you is this: Do not expect every true story to dovetail into some other true story and end with some marvellous coincidence or miraculous conversion. Most days in real life end exactly as they[25] began, so far as visible results are concerned. We do not find, as a rule, when we go to the houses—the literal little mud houses, I mean, of literal heathendom—that anyone inside has been praying we might come. I read a missionary story "founded on fact" the other day, and the things that happened in that story on these lines were most remarkable. They do not happen here. Practical missionary life is an unexciting thing. It is not sparkling all over with incident. It is very prosaic at times.
But, dear friends, please don’t expect to hear about us achieving amazing things every day. Our goal is significant—it is India for Christ! and before the gods present here, we sing praises to Him. But let us be clear: don’t assume that every true story will connect neatly with another and conclude with some incredible coincidence or miraculous change. Most days in real life end just as they began, at least in terms of visible outcomes. Generally, when we visit the homes—the actual little mud houses of real heathendom—we don’t find anyone inside praying for our arrival. I read a missionary story “based on fact” the other day, and the events in that story were quite remarkable. Those kinds of things don’t happen here. Practical missionary life is not exciting. It’s not filled with thrilling incidents. At times, it's very mundane.
CHAPTER IV
Correspondences
"It is very pleasant when you are in England, and you see souls being saved, and you see the conviction of sin, and you see the power of the Gospel to bring new life and new joy and purity to hearts. But it is still more glorious amongst the heathen to see the same things, to see the Lord there working His own work of salvation, and to see the souls convicted and the hearts broken, and to see there the new life and the new joy coming out in the faces of those who have found the Lord Jesus."
"It’s really wonderful when you’re in England, witnessing lives being transformed, seeing people feel the weight of their sins, and observing the Gospel’s ability to bring new life, joy, and purity to hearts. But it’s even more amazing among the unchurched to experience the same things: to see the Lord doing His work of salvation, to witness people feeling convicted and hearts being healed, and to see new life and joy shining through the faces of those who have found the Lord Jesus."
"Now is not feminine."

We had gone to her village to take photographs, and[27] had just got the street scene in the morning light. The crowd followed us, eager to see more of the doings of the picture-catching box; and she, fearing the defiling touch of the mixed Castes represented there, had climbed up on a granite slab by the side of the road, and stood waiting till we passed.
We went to her village to take photos, and[27] had just captured the street scene in the morning light. A crowd gathered around us, excited to see more of what the camera was capturing; and she, worried about the influence of the mixed castes present, climbed onto a granite slab by the side of the road and waited until we walked by.
There we saw her, and there we took her,—for, to our surprise, she did not object,—and now here she is, to show with all the force of truth how far from ideal the real may be. We looked at her as I look at her now, stripped of all God meant her to have when He made her, deep in the mire of the lowest form of idolatry, a devotee of Siva. She had been to Benares and bathed in the sacred Ganges, and therefore she is holy beyond the reach of doubt. She has no room for any sense of the need of Christ. She pities our ignorance when we talk to her. Is she not a devotee? Has she not been to Benares?
There we saw her, and there we took her—surprisingly, she didn’t protest—and now here she is, proving how far from perfect reality can be. We looked at her just as I do now, stripped of everything God intended for her, stuck deep in the muck of the lowest form of idolatry, a follower of Siva. She had been to Benares and bathed in the holy Ganges, so she is considered sacred beyond question. She has no awareness of needing Christ. She feels sorry for our ignorance when we talk to her. Isn’t she a follower? Hasn’t she been to Benares?
Often and often we meet her in the high-caste houses of the place, where she is always an honoured guest because of her wonderful sanctity. She watches keenly then lest any of the younger members of the household should incline to listen to us.
Often we see her in the high-status homes around here, where she is always a respected guest because of her incredible sanctity. She pays close attention to make sure none of the younger members of the household start to listen to us.
One of her relatives is an English-educated lawyer, a bitter though covert foe, who not long ago stirred up such opposition that we were warned not to go near the place. Men had been hired "to fall upon us and beat us." This because a girl, a connection of his, read her Bible openly, instead of in secret as she had done before. He connected this action on her part with a visit we had paid to the house, and so induced certain of the baser[28] sort to do this thing. We went, however, just the same, as we had work we had promised to do, and saw the old gentleman sitting on the verandah reading his English newspaper in the most pacific fashion. He seemed surprised to see us as we passed with a salaam; we saw nothing of the beaters, and returned with whole bones, to the relief of the community at large. Only I remember one of our Band was woefully disappointed: "I thought, perhaps, we were going to be martyrs," she said.
One of her relatives is a lawyer educated in England, a bitter yet hidden enemy, who recently caused such a stir that we were advised to stay away from the place. Men had been hired "to attack us and beat us up." This was because a girl related to him started reading her Bible openly, instead of secretly like she used to. He linked her actions to a visit we made to the house, and encouraged some of the more unscrupulous individuals to take action against us. However, we went anyway since we had work to do, and found the old gentleman sitting on the porch reading his English newspaper in the most peaceful manner. He looked surprised to see us as we walked by with a salute; we didn’t see any attackers and returned home unscathed, much to the relief of the community. I do remember one of our group was sadly disappointed: “I thought maybe we were going to be martyrs,” she said.

And so we realise, as so often in India, the power of both extremes; the one with all the force of his education, and the other with all the force of her superstition, each uniting with the other in repelling the coming of the Saviour both equally need.
And so we realize, as is often the case in India, the strength of both extremes; one armed with all the power of his education, and the other with all the power of her superstition, each working together to push away the arrival of the Savior that they both equally need.
As one looks at the photograph, does it not help in the effort to realise the utter hopelessness, from every human point of view, of trying to win such a one, for example, to even care to think of Christ? There is, over and above the natural apathy common to all, an immense barrier of accumulated merit gained by pilgrimages, austerities, and religious observances, and the soul is perfectly satisfied, and has no desire whatever after God. It is just this self-satisfaction which makes it so hopeless to try to do anything with it.
As you look at the photograph, doesn’t it drive home the utter hopelessness, from any human perspective, of trying to get someone like this to even think about Christ? On top of the general apathy that everyone experiences, there’s an enormous wall of accumulated merit gained from pilgrimages, strict practices, and religious rituals, and the soul feels completely content, with no desire for God at all. It’s this self-satisfaction that makes it so hopeless to try to change anything.
And yet nothing is hopeless to God; "Set no borders to His strength," a Japanese missionary said. We say it over and over again to ourselves, in the face of some great hopelessness, like that photograph before us; and sometimes, as if to assure us it is so, God lifts some such soul into light. Just now we are rejoicing in[29] a letter from the eastern side of the district, telling us of the growth in the new life of one who only a little while ago was a temple devotee.
And yet nothing is impossible for God; "Don’t limit His power," a Japanese missionary said. We keep reminding ourselves of this when we face overwhelming despair, like that photo in front of us; and sometimes, just to reassure us, God brings someone like that into the light. Right now we’re celebrating [29] a letter from the eastern side of the district, sharing the news of the new life of someone who not long ago was a temple devotee.
One has often longed to see Him work as He worked of old, healing the sick by the word of His power, raising the dead. But when we see Him gathering one—and such a one!—from among the heathen to give thanks unto His holy Name and to triumph in His praise, one feels that indeed it is a miracle of miracles, and that greater than a miracle wrought on the body is a miracle wrought on the soul. But nothing I can write can show you the miracle it was. In that particular case it was like seeing a soul drawn out of the hand of the Ruler of Darkness. All salvation is that in reality, but sometimes, as in her case, when the whole environment of the soul has been strongly for evil in its most dangerous phase, then it is more evidently so.
One often longs to see Him work like He did in the past, healing the sick with His powerful words and raising the dead. But when we see Him bringing one—especially someone like this—from among the nonbelievers to give thanks to His holy Name and to celebrate His praise, it truly feels like a miracle of miracles, and that a miracle that affects the soul is greater than one that affects the body. Yet, nothing I write can truly capture the miracle it was. In this case, it felt like witnessing a soul being pulled from the grasp of the Ruler of Darkness. In reality, all salvation is like that, but sometimes—like in her case—when the entire environment surrounding the soul has been strongly inclined towards evil in its most perilous form, it becomes much more apparent.
Perhaps we should explain. We know that in its widest sense environment simply means "all that is." We know that "all that is" includes the existence of certain beings, described as "Powers" in Ephesians vi. 12. Some of us are more or less unconscious of this part of our environment. We have no conscious correspondence with it, but it is there. Others, again, seek and find such correspondence, to their certain and awful loss.
Perhaps we should clarify. We know that in its broadest sense, environment simply means "everything that exists." We know that "everything that exists" includes certain beings, referred to as "Powers" in Ephesians 6:12. Some of us are more or less unaware of this aspect of our environment. We don't have any conscious interaction with it, but it is present. Others, however, actively seek and find that connection, to their definite and terrible detriment.
Such a subject can hardly bear handling in language. Thank God we know so little about it that we do not know how to speak of it accurately. Neither, indeed, do we wish to intrude into those things which we have not seen by any attempt at close definition; but we know there is this unhallowed correspondence between men[30] and demons, which in old days drew down, as a lightning conductor, the flash of the wrath of God.
Such a topic is really hard to discuss in words. Thank goodness we know so little about it that we can't speak about it accurately. In fact, we don't want to interfere with things we haven't witnessed by trying to define them closely; but we do know there's this unholy connection between humans[30] and demons, which in the past attracted, like a lightning rod, the anger of God.
Here in India it exists; we often almost touch it, but not quite. We would not go where we knew we should see it, even if we might; so, unless we happen upon it, which is rare, we never see it at all. A year ago I saw it, and that one look made me realise, as no amount of explanations ever could, how absolutely out of reach of all human influence such souls are. Nothing can reach them, nothing but the might of the Holy Ghost.
Here in India, it's here; we often almost touch it, but not quite. We wouldn’t go where we know we should see it, even if we could; so, unless we stumble upon it, which is rare, we never see it at all. A year ago, I saw it, and that one glimpse made me understand, as no amount of explanations ever could, how completely out of reach of all human influence such souls are. Nothing can reach them, nothing but the power of the Holy Spirit.
So I close with this one look. Will you pray for those to whom in the moonless night, at the altar by the temple, there is the sudden coming of that which they have sought—the "possession," the "afflatus," which for ever after marks them out as those whose correspondences reach beyond mortal ken. All devotees have not received this awful baptism, but in this part of India many have.
So I finish with this one last glance. Will you pray for those who, in the dark of night, at the altar by the temple, suddenly experience what they've been searching for—the "gift," the "inspiration," which forever sets them apart as those whose connections go beyond what we can see. Not every follower has received this powerful initiation, but many have in this part of India.
We were visiting in a high-caste house. The walls were decorated with mythological devices, and even the old wood-carvings were full of idolatrous symbols. The women were listening well, asking questions and arguing, until one, an old lady, came in. Then they were silent. She sat down and discussed us. We thought we would change the subject, and we began to sing. She listened, as they always do, interrupting only to say, "That's true! that's true!" Till suddenly—I cannot describe what—something seemed to come over her, and she burst into a frenzy, exclaiming, "Let me sing! let me sing!" And then she sang as I never heard anyone sing before—the wildest, weirdest wail of a song all about idolatry, its uselessness and folly, its sorrow and sin.[31]
We were visiting in a high-caste house. The walls were decorated with mythological designs, and even the old wood carvings were full of idolatrous symbols. The women were engaged, asking questions and debating, until an elderly woman walked in. Then they fell silent. She sat down and studied us. We thought we’d change the topic, so we began to sing. She listened, as they always do, only interrupting to say, "That's true! That's true!" Until suddenly—I can't explain what happened—something seemed to take over her, and she erupted in a frenzy, shouting, "Let me sing! Let me sing!" And then she sang like I’ve never heard anyone sing before—the wildest, strangest wail of a song all about idolatry, its uselessness and foolishness, its sorrow and sin.[31]
So far I followed her, for I knew the poem well, but she soon turned off into regions of language and thought unreached as yet by me. Here she got madly excited, and, swaying herself to and fro, seemed lashing herself into fury. Nearer and nearer she drew to us (we were on the floor beside her); then she stretched out her arm with its clenched fist, and swung it straight for my eye. Within a hair's-breadth she drew back, and struck out for Victory's; but God helped her not to flinch.
So far, I had been following her because I knew the poem well, but she quickly took off into areas of language and thought that I hadn't reached yet. She became wildly excited, swaying back and forth as if working herself into a rage. She moved closer and closer to us (we were on the floor beside her); then she stretched out her arm with a clenched fist and swung it right at my eye. Just a hair's breadth away, she pulled back and aimed for Victory's, but thankfully she didn't flinch.
Then I cannot tell what happened, only her form dilated, and she seemed as if she would spring upon us, but as if she were somehow held back. We dare not move for fear of exciting her more. There we sat for I know not how long, with this awful old woman's clenched fist circling round our heads, or all but striking into our eyes, while without intermission she crooned her song in that hollow hum that works upon the listener till the nerve of the soul is drawn out, as it were, to its very farthest stretch. It was quite dark by this time; only the yellow flicker of the wind-blown flame of the lamp made uncertain lights and shadows round the place where we were sitting, and an eerie influence fell on us all, almost mesmeric in effect. I did not need the awestruck whispers round me to tell me what it was. But oh! I felt, as I never felt before, the reality of the presence of unseen powers, and I knew that the Actual itself was in the room with me.
Then I can't explain what happened, only that her shape expanded, and she looked like she would pounce on us, but it felt like something was holding her back. We didn't dare move for fear of making her more agitated. We sat there for I don't know how long, with that terrifying old woman's clenched fist hovering above us, almost striking us in the eyes, while she continuously hummed her song in that hollow tone that pulls at the listener until the very essence of the soul feels stretched to its limit. By this time, it was completely dark; only the yellow flicker of the wind-blown flame from the lamp cast uncertain lights and shadows around where we were sitting, creating a chilling atmosphere that was almost hypnotic. I didn't need the astonished whispers around me to tell me what it was. But oh! I felt, like never before, the reality of the presence of unseen forces, and I knew that the Actual itself was in the room with me.
At last she fell back exhausted, trembling in every limb. Her old head hit the wall as she fell, but I knew we must not help her; it would be pollution to her if we touched her. The people all round were too frightened[32] to move. So she fell and lay there quivering, her glittering eyes still fixed on us; and she tried to speak, but could not.
At last, she collapsed, exhausted and shaking in every limb. Her head hit the wall as she fell, but I knew we couldn’t help her; touching her would pollute her. The people all around were too scared to move. So she fell and lay there trembling, her shining eyes still fixed on us; she tried to speak but couldn’t.
Softly we stole away, and we felt we had been very near where Satan's seat is.
Softly, we slipped away, feeling like we had been very close to where Satan's throne is.
Think of someone you love—as I did then—of someone whose hair is white like hers; but the face you think of has peace in it, and God's light lightens it. Then think of her as we saw her last—the old face torn with the fury of hell, and for light the darkness thereof.
Think of someone you love—like I did back then—someone with hair as white as hers; but the face you imagine is peaceful, illuminated by God's light. Then picture her as we last saw her—the aged face twisted with the rage of hell, and instead of light, only darkness.
Oh, friends, do you care enough? Do we care enough out here? God give us hearts that can care!
Oh, friends, do you care enough? Do we care enough out here? God, grant us hearts that can care!
CHAPTER V
The Prey of the Terrible
"I believe we are in the midst of a great battle. We are not ourselves fighting, we are simply accepting everything that comes; but the Powers of Light are fighting against the Powers of Darkness, and they will certainly prevail. The Holy Spirit is working, but the people do not as yet know it is the Spirit."
"I believe we are in the middle of a huge battle. We're not fighting ourselves; we're just accepting everything that happens. However, the Forces of Light are battling against the Forces of Darkness, and they will definitely win. The Holy Spirit is at work, but people still don't realize it's the Spirit."
There was Wreath, of the Village of the Temple. She used to listen in the shadow of the door while we sat on the outside verandah. Then she got bolder, and openly asked to see Golden, and talk with her. One day, unexpectedly, Golden was led to the Red Lake Village, and to her surprise found Wreath there. She had been sent away from the Village of the Temple, and was now with some other relations, under even stricter guard. But God led Golden, all unknowingly, to go straight to the very house where she was. So she heard again.
There was Wreath, from the Village of the Temple. She used to listen in the shadows by the door while we sat on the outside porch. Then she got braver and openly asked to see Golden and talk with her. One day, unexpectedly, Golden was taken to Red Lake Village and, to her surprise, found Wreath there. She had been sent away from the Village of the Temple and was now with some other relatives, under even stricter watch. But God guided Golden, without her realizing, to go directly to the very house where Wreath was. So she heard her again.
Next time Golden went she could not see her alone, but somehow Wreath got her to understand that if she went to a certain tree near the women's bathing-place, at a certain time next week, she would try to meet her[34] there. Golden went, and they met. Wreath told her she believed it all, but she could not then face breaking Caste and destroying her family's name. They had been good to her, how could she disgrace them? Still, she eagerly wanted to go on hearing, and we felt that if she did, the love of God would win. So we were full of hope.
Next time Golden went, she couldn’t see her alone, but somehow Wreath managed to get her to understand that if she went to a certain tree near the women's bathing area, at a specific time next week, she would try to meet her there[34]. Golden went, and they met. Wreath told her she believed it all, but she couldn’t bring herself to break the rules and ruin her family’s name. They had been good to her; how could she disgrace them? Still, she really wanted to keep hearing, and we felt that if she did, the love of God would triumph. So we were full of hope.
Next time Golden went she could find no trace of her. She has never seen her since. There is a rumour that she has been carried off over the mountains, hundreds of miles away.
Next time Golden went, she couldn’t find any sign of her. She hasn’t seen her since. There’s a rumor that she was taken over the mountains, hundreds of miles away.
In another village a bright, keen boy of seventeen listened one day when we taught the women, and, becoming greatly interested, openly took the Gospel's part when the village elders attacked it. After some weeks he gathered courage to come and see the Iyer. He was a very intelligent boy, well known all over the countryside, because he had studied the Tamil classics, and also because of his connection with one of the chief temples of the district.
In another village, a smart, eager boy of seventeen listened one day while we taught the women, and, growing really interested, openly supported the Gospel when the village elders criticized it. After a few weeks, he mustered the courage to come and see the Iyer. He was a very bright boy, well-known throughout the countryside, because he had studied the Tamil classics and also because of his ties to one of the main temples in the area.
A fortnight after his visit here, our Band went to his village. They heard that he was married and gone, where, no one would say. The relations must have heard of his coming to us (of course he was urged to tell them), and they rushed him through a marriage, and sent him off post haste. So now there is another key turned, locking him into Hinduism.
A couple of weeks after his visit here, our group went to his village. They found out that he had gotten married and left, but no one would say where. His family must have heard about his visit to us (he was definitely pushed to tell them), and they hurried him into a marriage and sent him off quickly. So now there’s another lock turned, tying him into Hinduism.
In the Village of the Wind a young girl became known as an inquirer. Her Caste passed the word along from village to village wherever its members were found, and all these relations and connections were speedily leagued in a compact to keep her from hearing more. When we[35] went to see her, we found she had been posted off somewhere else. When we went to the somewhere else (always freely mentioned to us, with invitations to go), we found she had been there, but had been forwarded elsewhere. For weeks she was tossed about like this; then we traced her, and found her. But she was thoroughly cowed, and dared not show the least interest in us. It is often like that. Just at the point where the soul-poise is so delicate that the lightest touch affects it, something, someone, pushes it roughly, and it trembles a moment, then falls—on the wrong side.
In the Village of the Wind, a young girl became known as someone who always asked questions. Her caste spread the word from village to village wherever its members were found, and all these connections quickly formed an agreement to keep her from learning more. When we[35] went to visit her, we discovered she had been sent somewhere else. When we went to that somewhere else (which was always freely mentioned to us, along with invitations to visit), we found she had been there but had been sent on to another place. For weeks, she was passed around like this; then we tracked her down and found her. But she was completely intimidated and didn’t dare show any interest in us. It often happens like that. Just when the balance of the soul is so fragile that even the lightest touch can affect it, something or someone pushes it roughly, and it wobbles for a moment, then falls—on the wrong side.
The reason for all this alertness of opposition is, that scattered about the five thousand square miles we call our field, here and there seeds are beginning to grow. Some of the sowers are in England now, and some are in heaven—sowers and reapers, English and Tamil, rejoice together! This is known everywhere, for the news spreads from town to town, and then out to the villages, and the result is opposition. Sometimes the little patch of ground which looked so hopeful is trampled, and the young seedlings killed; sometimes they seem to be rooted up. When we go to our Master and tell Him, He explains it: "An Enemy hath done this." But as the measure of the Enemy's activity is in direct proportion to the measure of God's working, we take it as a sign of encouragement, however hindering it may be. Satan would not trouble to fight if he saw nothing worth attacking; he does not seem to mind the spread of a head knowledge of the Doctrine, or even a cordial appreciation of it. Often we hear the people say how excellent it is, and how they never worship idols now,[36] but only the true God; and even a heathen mother will make her child repeat its texts to you, and a father will tell you how it tells him Bible stories; and if you are quite new to the work you put it in the Magazine, and at home it sounds like conversion. All this goes on most peacefully; there is not the slightest stir, till something happens to show the people that the Doctrine is not just a Creed, but contains a living Power. And then, and not till then, there is opposition.
The reason for all this heightened opposition is that, scattered throughout the five thousand square miles we call our field, seeds are starting to grow here and there. Some of the sowers are in England now, and some are in heaven—sowers and reapers, English and Tamil, rejoice together! This is known everywhere, as the news spreads from town to town and then out to the villages, which leads to opposition. Sometimes, the little patch of ground that looked so promising gets trampled, and the young seedlings die; other times, they seem to be uprooted. When we go to our Master and tell Him, He explains it: "An Enemy has done this." But since the level of the Enemy's activity directly reflects the level of God's work, we view it as a sign of encouragement, no matter how frustrating it may be. Satan wouldn’t bother to fight if he saw nothing worth attacking; he doesn’t seem to care about the spread of a superficial understanding of the Doctrine, or even a genuine appreciation for it. Often, we hear people say how great it is, and how they no longer worship idols, but only the true God; even a pagan mother will have her child recite texts to you, and a father will tell you how it shares Bible stories with him; and if you're new to the work, you put it in the Magazine, and at home, it sounds like conversion. All this unfolds very peacefully; there’s not the slightest stir until something happens to show the people that the Doctrine isn’t just a Creed, but contains a living Power. And then, and only then, there is opposition.
This opposition is sufficiently strong in the case of a boy or young man (older Caste men and women rarely "change their religion" in this part of South India), but if a girl is in question, the Caste is touched at its most sensitive point, and the feeling is simply intense. Men and demons seem to conspire to hold such a one in the clutch of the Terrible.
This opposition is really strong when it comes to a boy or young man (older Caste men and women rarely "change their religion" in this part of South India), but if it's a girl we're talking about, the Caste feels it at its most sensitive point, and the reaction is incredibly intense. Men and demons seem to work together to keep her in the grip of the Terrible.
There is a young girl in Cupid's Lake Village whose heart the Lord opened some weeks ago. She is a gentle, timid girl, and devoted to her mother. "Can it be right to break my mother's heart?" she used to ask us pitifully. We urged her to try to win her mother, but the mother was just furious. The moment she understood that her daughter wanted to follow Jesus, or "join the Way," as she would express it, she gathered the girl's books and burnt them, and forbade her ever to mention the subject; and she went all round the villages trying to stop our work.
There’s a young girl in Cupid's Lake Village whose heart the Lord touched a few weeks ago. She’s a gentle, shy girl, deeply devoted to her mother. "Is it really right to break my mother’s heart?" she would ask us with great sadness. We encouraged her to try to win her mother over, but the mother was furious. As soon as she realized her daughter wanted to follow Jesus, or “join the Way,” as she put it, she gathered the girl’s books and burned them, forbidding her to ever mention the subject again. She even went around the villages trying to stop our efforts.
At last things came to a crisis. The girl was told to do what she felt would be sin against God. She refused. They tried force, sheer brute force. She nerved herself for the leap in the dark, and tried to escape to us. But[37] in the dark night she lost the way, and had to run back to her home. Next morning the village priest spread a story to the effect that his god had appeared to him, told him of her attempt to escape, and that she would try twice again, "but each time I will stand in the way and turn her back," he said.
At last, things reached a breaking point. The girl was told to do what she believed would be a sin against God. She refused. They tried to use force, pure brute force. She steeled herself for a leap into the unknown and tried to escape to us. But[37] in the dark of night, she lost her way and had to run back home. The next morning, the village priest spread a story claiming that his god had appeared to him, told him about her attempt to escape, and that she would try again twice, "but each time I will block her path and turn her back," he said.
This naturally startled the girl. "Is his god stronger than Jesus?" she asked in real perplexity. We told her we thought the tale was concocted to frighten her; the priest had seen her, and made up the rest. But twice since then, driven by dire danger, that girl has tried to get to us, and each time she has been turned back. And now she is kept in rigorous guard, as her determination to be a Christian is well known to all in the place.
This naturally shocked the girl. "Is his god stronger than Jesus?" she asked, clearly confused. We told her that we believed the story was made up to scare her; the priest had seen her and added the rest. But twice since then, facing serious danger, that girl has tried to reach us, and each time she has been turned away. Now she is being closely guarded, as everyone there knows about her determination to be a Christian.
Do you say, "Tell her to stay at home and bear it patiently"? We do tell her so, when we can see her, but we add, "till God makes a way of escape"; and if you knew all there is to be known about a Hindu home, and what may happen in it, you would not tell her otherwise.
Do you say, "Tell her to stay at home and put up with it patiently"? We do tell her that when we see her, but we also say, "until God makes a way out"; and if you knew everything there is to know about a Hindu home and what can happen in it, you wouldn't suggest anything different.
But supposing there is nothing more than negative difficulty to be feared, have you ever tried in thought to change places with such a girl? Have you ever considered how impossible it is for such a one to grow? The simple grace of continuance is in danger of withering when all help of every sort is absolutely cut off, and the soul is, to begin with, not deeply rooted in God. Plants, even when they have life, need water and sunshine and air. Babes need milk.
But what if all there is to fear is negative hardship? Have you ever thought about switching places with a girl like that? Have you considered how hard it is for her to grow? The natural beauty of staying strong is at risk of fading when all kinds of support are completely cut off, and if her soul isn’t firmly rooted in God from the start. Plants need water, sunlight, and fresh air to survive, even if they’re alive. Babies need milk.
You find it hard enough to grow, if one may judge from the constant wails about "leanness," and yet you are surrounded by every possible help to growth. You[38] have a whole Bible, not just a scrap of it; and you can read it all, and understand at least most of it. You have endless good books, hymn-books, and spiritual papers; you have sermons every week, numerous meetings for edification, and perhaps an annual Convention. Now strip yourself of all this. Shut your Bible, and forget as completely as if you had never known it all you ever read or heard, except the main facts of the Gospel. Forget all those strengthening verses, all those beautiful hymns, all those inspiring addresses. Likewise, of course, entirely forget all the loving dealings of God with yourself and with others—a Hindu has no such memories to help her. Then go and live in a devil's den and develop saintliness. The truth is, even you would find it difficult; but this Hindu girl's case is worse than that, a million times worse. Think of the life, and then, if you can, tell her she must be quite satisfied with it, that it is the will of God. You could not say that it is His will! It is the will of the Terrible, who holds on to his prey, and would rather rend it limb from limb than ever let it go.
You struggle to grow, if we can judge by the constant complaints about "feeling empty," yet you’re surrounded by every possible resource to help you grow. You[38] have an entire Bible, not just a piece of it; you can read it all and understand at least most of it. You have countless good books, hymnals, and spiritual resources; you attend sermons every week, participate in numerous meetings for encouragement, and maybe even go to an annual convention. Now, strip yourself of all this. Close your Bible, and forget everything you ever read or heard, except for the basic facts of the Gospel. Forget all those uplifting verses, those beautiful hymns, those inspiring talks. Also, completely forget all the loving experiences you've had with God and with others— a Hindu doesn’t have those memories to support her. Then go live in a hellish environment and try to become saintly. The truth is, even you would find it hard; but this Hindu girl’s situation is far worse, a million times worse. Think about her life, and then, if you can, tell her she should be completely satisfied with it, that it’s the will of God. You couldn’t honestly say it’s His will! It’s the will of the Terrible, who clings to his prey and would rather tear it apart than ever let it go.
We are often asked to tell converts' stories; and certainly they would thrill, for the way of escape God opens sometimes is, like Peter's from prison, miraculous; and truth is stranger than fiction, and far more interesting. But we who work in the Terrible's lair, and know how he fights to get back his prey, even after it has escaped from him, are afraid to tell these stories too much, and feel that silence is safest, and, strange as it may seem to some, for the present most glorifies God.
We often get asked to share the stories of those who have converted, and they would definitely be exciting because the way God offers escape at times is, like Peter's jailbreak, miraculous; and reality is often stranger than fiction, and way more intriguing. However, those of us who work in the darkness of the enemy's territory, and understand how hard he fights to reclaim his lost ones, even after they have broken free, hesitate to share these stories too often. We feel that keeping quiet is the safest approach, and, as strange as it may sound to some, at this moment, it brings more glory to God.
For a certain connection has been observed between publicity and peril. And we have learned by experience[39] to fear any attempt to photograph spiritual fruit. The old Greek artist turned away the face that held too much for him to paint; and that turned-away face had power in it, they say, to touch men's hearts. We turn these faces away from you; may the very fact that we do it teach some at home to realise how much more lies in each of them than we can say, how great a need there is to pray that each may be kept safe. The names of one and another occur, because they came in the letters so often that I could not cross them all out without altering the character of the whole; they are part of one's very life.
For some reason, there's been a noticeable link between publicity and danger. We've learned from experience[39] to be cautious about trying to capture spiritual moments on camera. The old Greek artist would turn away from subjects that were too profound for him to portray; that turned-away expression supposedly had the power to resonate with people's hearts. We also turn these expressions away from you; may the simple act of doing so help some back home understand how much more depth is in each of them than we can express and how important it is to pray for their safety. The names of various individuals come up because they appeared in the letters so frequently that I couldn't remove them all without changing the essence of the whole; they are part of my very existence.
But as even a passing mention may mean danger, unless a counteracting influence of real prayer protects them, we ask you to pray that the tender protection of God may be folded round each one of them; and then when we meet where no sin can creep into the telling, and no harm can follow it, they will tell you their stories themselves, and God will give you your share in the joy, comrades by prayer at home! But let us press it on you now—pray, oh, pray for the converts! Pray that they may grow in Christ. Pray that He may see of the travail of His soul, and be satisfied with each of them. And pray that we may enter into that travail of soul with Him. Nothing less is any good. Spiritual children mean travail of soul—spiritual agony. I wonder who among those who read this will realise what I mean. Some will, I think; so I write it. It is a solemn thing to find oneself drawn out in prayer which knows no relief till the soul it is burdened with is born. It is no less solemn afterwards, until Christ is formed in them. Converts are a responsible joy.[40]
But even a brief mention can bring danger, unless a genuine prayer acts as a protective force. We ask you to pray that God's loving protection surrounds each one of them; then when we gather where no sin can taint the stories told, and no harm can come from them, they will share their stories with you, and God will give you a part in the joy, fellow pray-ers at home! But let us emphasize this now—pray, oh, pray for the converts! Pray that they may grow in Christ. Pray that He may see the results of His efforts and be pleased with each of them. And pray that we may share in that deep emotional struggle with Him. Anything less is pointless. Spiritual children require deep emotional investment—spiritual pain. I wonder who among those reading this will understand what I mean. Some will, I believe; that’s why I write it. It’s a serious matter to feel compelled to pray without relief until the soul you’re burdened for is born again. It’s just as serious afterward, until Christ is formed in them. Converts bring a joyful responsibility.[40]
And now we have told you a little of what is going on. There are days when nothing seems to be done, and then again there are days when the Terrible seems almost visible, as he gathers up his strength, and tears and mauls his prey. And so it is true we have to fight a separate fight for each soul. But another view of the case is a strength to us many a time. "We are not ourselves fighting, but the Powers of Light are fighting against the Powers of Darkness," and the coming of the victory is only a question of time. "Shall the prey be taken from the Mighty or the captives of the Terrible be delivered? But thus saith the Lord, Even the captives of the Mighty shall be taken away and the prey of the Terrible shall be delivered."
And now we've shared a bit about what's happening. There are days when it feels like nothing gets done, and then there are days when the Terrible feels almost tangible as he gathers his strength and attacks his victims. So it's true that we have to fight a unique battle for each soul. But looking at it from another perspective often gives us strength. "We aren't fighting on our own; the Powers of Light are battling against the Powers of Darkness," and victory is just a matter of time. "Will the prey be taken from the Mighty, or will the captives of the Terrible be set free? But thus says the Lord, Even the captives of the Mighty shall be taken away and the prey of the Terrible shall be delivered."
CHAPTER VI
Missed Ends
"If you could only know what one feels on finding oneself . . . where the least ray of the Gospel has not penetrated! If those friends who blame . . . could see from afar what we see, and feel what we feel, they would be the first to wonder that those redeemed by Christ should be so backward in devotion and know so little of the spirit of self-sacrifice. They would be ashamed of the hesitations that hinder us. . . . We must remember that it was not by interceding for the world in glory that Jesus saved it. He gave Himself. Our prayers for the evangelisation of the world are but a bitter irony so long as we only give of our superfluity, and draw back before the sacrifice of ourselves."
"If you could only understand what it's like to find yourself . . . where even the slightest hint of the Gospel hasn't reached! If those friends who criticize . . . could see from a distance what we see and feel what we feel, they would be the first to be amazed that those redeemed by Christ can be so slow in their devotion and know so little about self-sacrifice. They would be embarrassed by the hesitations that hold us back. . . . We must remember that it wasn't through interceding for the world in glory that Jesus saved it. He gave Himself. Our prayers for the evangelization of the world are just bitter irony as long as we only give from our excess and hesitate before sacrificing ourselves."
"Someone must go, and if no one else will go, he who hears the call must go; I hear the call, for indeed God has brought it before me on every side, and go I must."
"Someone has to go, and if no one else will step up, the person who hears the call must go; I hear the call, as God has presented it to me from every angle, and I have to go."
That I stood on a grassy sward, and at my feet a precipice broke sheer down into infinite space. I looked, but saw no bottom; only cloud shapes, black and furiously coiled, and great shadow-shrouded hollows, and unfathomable depths. Back I drew, dizzy at the depth.
That I stood on a grassy patch, and at my feet a cliff dropped straight down into endless space. I looked, but saw no bottom; only swirling, dark clouds, huge shadowy pits, and depths I couldn't comprehend. I stepped back, feeling dizzy from the height.
Then I saw forms of people moving single file along[42] the grass. They were making for the edge. There was a woman with a baby in her arms and another little child holding on to her dress. She was on the very verge. Then I saw that she was blind. She lifted her foot for the next step . . . it trod air. She was over, and the children over with her. Oh, the cry as they went over!
Then I saw people walking in a line along[42] the grass. They were heading toward the edge. There was a woman with a baby in her arms and another little child holding on to her dress. She was right on the edge. Then I realized she was blind. She lifted her foot for the next step... and stepped into thin air. She fell, and the children went with her. Oh, the scream as they fell!
Then I saw more streams of people flowing from all quarters. All were blind, stone blind; all made straight for the precipice edge. There were shrieks as they suddenly knew themselves falling, and a tossing up of helpless arms, catching, clutching at empty air. But some went over quietly, and fell without a sound.
Then I saw more groups of people coming from all directions. They were all blind, completely blind; all headed straight for the edge of the cliff. There were screams as they suddenly realized they were falling, and they threw their arms up helplessly, grasping at nothing. But some went over quietly and fell without making a sound.
Then I wondered, with a wonder that was simply agony, why no one stopped them at the edge. I could not. I was glued to the ground, and I could not call; though I strained and tried, only a whisper would come.
Then I wondered, in a way that was just painful, why no one stopped them at the edge. I couldn't. I was frozen to the spot, and I couldn't shout; even though I strained and tried, only a whisper came out.
Then I saw that along the edge there were sentries set at intervals. But the intervals were far too great; there were wide, unguarded gaps between. And over these gaps the people fell in their blindness, quite unwarned; and the green grass seemed blood-red to me, and the gulf yawned like the mouth of hell.
Then I noticed that there were guards stationed at intervals along the edge. But the spaces between them were way too large; there were wide, unguarded gaps. And through these gaps, people stumbled blindly, completely unaware; the green grass looked blood-red to me, and the chasm opened up like the mouth of hell.
Then I saw, like a little picture of peace, a group of people under some trees, with their backs turned towards the gulf. They were making daisy chains. Sometimes when a piercing shriek cut the quiet air and reached them it disturbed them, and they thought it a rather vulgar noise. And if one of their number started up and wanted to go and do something to help, then all[43] the others would pull that one down. "Why should you get so excited about it? You must wait for a definite call to go! You haven't finished your daisy chains yet. It would be really selfish," they said, "to leave us to finish the work alone."
Then I saw, like a little picture of peace, a group of people under some trees, with their backs turned toward the gulf. They were making daisy chains. Sometimes, when a loud scream cut through the quiet air and reached them, it bothered them, and they thought it was a pretty rude noise. If one of them stood up and wanted to go help, the others would pull that person back down. "Why are you getting so worked up about it? You need to wait for a clear signal to go! You haven't finished your daisy chains yet. It would be really selfish," they said, "to leave us to finish the work alone."
There was another group. It was made up of people whose great desire was to get more sentries out; but they found that very few wanted to go, and sometimes there were no sentries set for miles and miles of the edge.
There was another group. It was made up of people whose main goal was to get more guards out; but they found that very few wanted to go, and sometimes there were no guards stationed for miles and miles along the border.
Once a girl stood alone in her place, waving the people back; but her mother and other relations called, and reminded her that her furlough was due; she must not break the rules. And being tired and needing a change, she had to go and rest for awhile; but no one was sent to guard her gap, and over and over the people fell, like a waterfall of souls.
Once a girl stood alone in her spot, waving the people back; but her mom and other family called out and reminded her that her time off was due; she must not break the rules. And feeling tired and needing a break, she had to go and rest for a while; but no one was sent to watch her spot, and again and again, people fell, like a waterfall of souls.
Once a child caught at a tuft of grass that grew at the very brink of the gulf; it clung convulsively, and it called—but nobody seemed to hear. Then the roots of the grass gave way, and with a cry the child went over, its two little hands still holding tight to the torn-off bunch of grass. And the girl who longed to be back in her gap thought she heard the little one cry, and she sprang up and wanted to go; at which they reproved her, reminding her that no one is necessary anywhere; the gap would be well taken care of, they knew. And then they sang a hymn.
Once, a child grabbed onto a tuft of grass at the edge of the cliff; it held on desperately and called for help—but no one seemed to hear. Then the grass's roots gave way, and with a cry, the child fell down, its two little hands still gripping the torn-off bunch of grass. The girl who wanted to be back in her spot thought she heard the child cry, and she jumped up, wanting to go; but they scolded her, reminding her that no one is essential anywhere; they were sure the gap would be well taken care of. And then they sang a hymn.
Then through the hymn came another sound like the pain of a million broken hearts wrung out in one full drop, one sob. And a horror of great darkness was upon me, for I knew what it was—the Cry of the Blood.[44]
Then through the hymn came another sound like the pain of a million broken hearts twisted into one full drop, one sob. And a deep horror washed over me, for I knew what it was—the Cry of the Blood.[44]
Then thundered a Voice, the Voice of the Lord: "And He said, What hast thou done? The voice of thy brothers' blood crieth unto Me from the ground."
Then a Voice thundered, the Voice of the Lord: "And He said, What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood calls out to Me from the ground."
The tom-toms still beat heavily, the darkness still shuddered and shivered about me; I heard the yells of the devil-dancers and the weird wild shriek of the devil-possessed just outside the gate.
The drums kept pounding, the darkness still trembled and shook around me; I heard the cries of the devil-dancers and the strange, wild scream of those possessed by the devil just outside the gate.
What does it matter, after all? It has gone on for years; it will go on for years. Why make such a fuss about it?
What does it matter, after all? It’s been going on for years; it will continue for years. Why make such a big deal out of it?
God forgive us! God arouse us! Shame us out of our callousness! Shame us out of our sin!
God forgive us! God wake us up! Shame us out of our indifference! Shame us out of our wrongdoing!
One afternoon, a few weeks after that night at the precipice edge, Victory and I were visiting in the Red Lake Village, when we heard the death-beat of the tom-tom and the shriek of the conch shell, and we knew that another had gone beyond our reach. One can never get accustomed to this. We stopped for a moment and listened.
One afternoon, a few weeks after that night by the cliff, Victory and I were hanging out in Red Lake Village when we heard the rhythmic beat of the drum and the sound of the conch shell, and we realized that another person had passed away. You never really get used to this. We paused for a moment and listened.
The women we were teaching broke in with eager explanations. "Oh, he was such a great one! He had received the Initiation. There will be a grand ceremonial, grander than ever you have!" Then they told us how this great one had been initiated into the Hindu mysteries by his family priest, and that the mystical benefits accruing from this initiation were to be caused to revert to the priest. This Reverting of the Initiation was to be one of the ceremonies. We watched the procession pass down the street. They were going for water from a[45] sacred stream for the bathing of purification. When they return, said the women, the ceremonies will begin.
The women we were teaching eagerly jumped in with their explanations. “Oh, he was such an amazing person! He had received the Initiation. There’s going to be a grand ceremony, bigger than any you’ve seen!” Then they told us how this amazing person had been initiated into the Hindu mysteries by his family priest, and that the mystical benefits from this initiation would go back to the priest. This Reverting of the Initiation was going to be part of the ceremonies. We watched the procession go down the street. They were going to get water from a[45] sacred stream for the purification bath. When they return, the women said, the ceremonies will start.
A little later we passed the house, and stood looking in through the doorway. There was the usual large square courtyard, with the verandah running round three sides. The verandah was full of women. We longed to go in, but did not think they would let us. The courtyard was rather confused; men were rushing about, putting up arches and decorating them; servants were sweeping, and cooking, and shouting to one another; the women were talking and laughing. And all the time from within the house came the sound of the dirge for the dead, and the laugh and the wail struck against each other, and jarred. No one noticed us for awhile, but at last a woman saw us, and beckoned us to come. "We are all defiled to-day; you may sit with us," they said; and yielding to the instincts of their kindly Tamil nature, they crushed closer together to make room for us beside them. How I did enjoy being squeezed up there among them. But to appreciate that in the least you would have to work in a caste-bound part of old India; you can have no idea, until you try, how hard it is to refrain from touching those whom you love.
A little later, we passed the house and stood looking in through the doorway. There was the usual large square courtyard, with a verandah running around three sides. The verandah was full of women. We wanted to go in, but we didn't think they'd let us. The courtyard was a bit chaotic; men were rushing around, putting up arches and decorating them; servants were sweeping, cooking, and shouting to each other; the women were talking and laughing. Meanwhile, from inside the house came the sound of a dirge for the dead, and the laughter and wailing clashed against one another, creating an unsettling mix. At first, no one noticed us, but eventually a woman spotted us and beckoned us to come over. "We're all defiled today; you can sit with us," they said, and true to their friendly Tamil nature, they squished together to make space for us beside them. I really enjoyed being squeezed in there among them. But to appreciate that, you would have to work in a caste-bound part of old India; you can't understand how difficult it is to avoid touching those you care about until you've experienced it yourself.
The house door opened upon the verandah, and we could hear the moan of the dirge. "There is sorrow on the sea; it cannot be quiet." There was no quietness, only the ceaseless moan, that kept rising into a wail; there were tears in the sound of the wail, and I felt like a sort of living harp with all its strings drawn tight.[46]
The front door opened to the porch, and we could hear the sound of the mourning song. "There is sadness in the ocean; it can’t find peace." There was no calm, only the endless moan that kept building into a cry; there were tears in the tone of that cry, and I felt like a living harp with all its strings pulled tight.[46]
But the women outside cared nothing at all. It was strange to see how callous they were. It was not their own who had died, so they chatted and laughed and watched the proceedings—the tying of the garlands round the arches, the arrangement of offerings for the Brahmans. It was all full of interest to them. We tried to turn their thoughts to the Powers of the World to Come. But no. They did not care.
But the women outside didn’t care at all. It was strange to see how indifferent they were. It wasn’t their own who had died, so they chatted, laughed, and watched what was happening—the tying of the garlands around the arches, the arrangement of offerings for the Brahmans. It was all very interesting to them. We tried to turn their thoughts to the Powers of the World to Come. But no. They didn’t care.
Presently there was a stir. "The men are coming!" they said. "Run! there is a shady corner under those palms on the far verandah! Run and hide! They are here!" And, even as they spoke, in streamed the men, each with his brass water-vessel poised on his head, and they saw us standing there. We thought they would turn us out, and were quite prepared to go at a sign from the head of the clan. But he was a friend of ours, and he smiled as we salaamed, and pointed to a quiet corner, out of the way, where we could see it all without being too much seen.
Right now, there was a flurry of excitement. "The men are coming!" they said. "Run! There's a shady spot under those palms on the far patio! Hurry and hide! They're here!" And just as they spoke, the men came in, each balancing a brass water container on his head, and they noticed us standing there. We thought they would kick us out and were ready to leave at a signal from the clan leader. But he was a friend of ours, and he smiled when we bowed to him, then pointed to a quiet corner, out of sight, where we could watch everything without being too visible.
To understand this, which to me was a surprise, one must remember that by nature the Indian is most courteous, and if it were not for Caste rules we should be allowed to come much closer to them than is possible now. To-day they were all ceremonially unclean, so our presence was not considered polluting. Also the Indian loves a function; sad or glad, it matters little. Life is a bubble on the water; enjoy it while you may. And they sympathised with what they thought was our desire to see the show. This was human; they could understand it. So they let us stay; and we stayed, hoping for a chance later on.[47]
To understand this, which surprised me, you have to remember that by nature, Indians are very polite. If it weren't for caste rules, we would be allowed to get much closer to them than we are now. Today, they were all considered ceremonially unclean, so our presence wasn’t seen as polluting. Also, Indians love a good event—whether it’s sad or happy doesn’t really matter. Life is like a bubble on water; enjoy it while you can. They understood what they thought was our desire to see the event, and this was a human instinct they could relate to. So they allowed us to stay, and we did, hoping for a chance later on.[47]
Then the ceremonies began. They carried the dead man out and laid him in the courtyard under the arch of palms. He was old and worn and thin. One could see the fine old face, with the marks of the Hindu trident painted down the forehead. He had been a most earnest Hindu; all the rites were duly performed, and morning and night for many years he had marked those marks on his brow. Had he ever once listened to the Truth? I do not know. He must have heard about it, but he had not received it. He died, they told us, "not knowing what lay on the other side."
Then the ceremonies began. They carried the dead man out and laid him in the courtyard under the palm trees. He was old, worn, and thin. You could see his fine old face, with the marks of the Hindu trident painted down his forehead. He had been a devoted Hindu; all the rituals were properly performed, and morning and night for many years he had marked those symbols on his brow. Had he ever once listened to the Truth? I don’t know. He must have heard about it, but he hadn’t embraced it. He died, they told us, "not knowing what lay on the other side."
The water-bearers laid their vessels on the ground. Each had a leaf across its mouth. The priest was crowned with a chaplet of flowers. Then came the bathing. They threw up a shelter, and carried him there. It was reverently done. There was a touch of refinement in the thought which banished the women and children before the bathing began. Tamils bathe in the open air, and always clothed, but always apart. And as the women's verandah overlooked the screened enclosure, they were all ordered off. They went and waited, silent now, awed by the presence of the men. While the bathing was going on the priests chanted and muttered incantations, and now and again a bell was rung, and incense waved, and tapers lighted. Now they were causing that mysterious Something which still hovered round the lifeless form to leave it and return to them, and when the bathing was over they signified that all was done; the Influence had departed, descended; the funeral ceremonies might proceed.
The water-bearers set their containers on the ground. Each had a leaf covering its opening. The priest wore a crown made of flowers. Then the bathing began. They constructed a shelter and carried him inside. It was done with great respect. There was a certain elegance in the idea of sending away the women and children before the bathing started. Tamils bathe outdoors and always while clothed, but they keep their distance. As the women's porch overlooked the enclosed area, they were all told to leave. They went and waited in silence, humbled by the presence of the men. While the bathing took place, the priests chanted and muttered spells; occasionally a bell was rung, incense was waved, and candles were lit. They were calling upon that mysterious Something that still lingered around the lifeless body to depart and return to them, and when the bathing was finished, they indicated that everything was complete; the Influence had left and descended; the funeral ceremonies could start.
And all this time, without a break, the dirge was[48] being sung by the mourners in the house. It was a sort of undernote to all the sounds outside. Then the old man, robed in white and crowned and wreathed with flowers, was carried round to the other side; and oh, the pitifulness of it all! St. Paul must have been thinking of some such scene when he wrote to the converts, "That ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope." And I thought how strangely callous we were, how superficial our sympathy. The Lord's command does not stir us, the sorrow of those we neglect does not touch us; we think so much more of ourselves and our own selfish pleasure than we think of the purpose for which we were saved—and at such a tremendous cost! Oh for a baptism of reality and obedience to sweep over us! Oh to be true to the hymns we sing and the vows we make! God make us true.
And all this time, without a break, the dirge was[48] being sung by the mourners in the house. It was like an undercurrent to all the sounds outside. Then the old man, dressed in white and crowned with flowers, was carried to the other side; and oh, the sadness of it all! St. Paul must have had a scene like this in mind when he wrote to the converts, "That you sorrow not even as others which have no hope." And I thought about how strangely indifferent we are, how superficial our sympathy. The Lord's command doesn’t move us, the grief of those we ignore doesn’t affect us; we care so much more about ourselves and our own pleasure than about the purpose for which we were saved—and at such a huge cost! Oh for a wave of reality and obedience to wash over us! Oh to be true to the hymns we sing and the promises we make! God make us true.
Forgive all this. It was burnt into me afresh that day as I sat there watching the things they did and listening to what they said. We had come too late for that old dead man, too late for most of the living ones too. Can you wonder if at such solemn times one yields oneself afresh and for ever to obey?
Forgive all of this. It was impressed on me again that day as I sat there watching what they did and listening to what they said. We had arrived too late for that old dead man, and too late for most of the living ones as well. Can you blame someone for giving themselves completely and forever to obedience during such serious moments?
Rice was prepared for the dead man's use, and balls of rice were ready to be offered to his spirit after his cremation; for the Hindus think that an intermediate body must be formed and nourished, which on the thirteenth day after death is conducted to either heaven or hell, according to the deeds done on earth. The ceremonies were all characterised by a belief in some future state. The spirit was somewhere—in the dark—so they tried to light the way for him. This reminds me of one[49] ceremony especially suggestive. All the little grandchildren were brought, and lighted tapers given to them; then they processioned round the bier, round and round many times, holding the tapers steadily, and looking serious and impressed.
Rice was prepared for the deceased, and balls of rice were set aside to be offered to his spirit after his cremation; Hindus believe that an intermediate body must be formed and nourished, which on the thirteenth day after death is taken to either heaven or hell, depending on the deeds done in life. The ceremonies all reflected a belief in some sort of afterlife. The spirit was somewhere—in the dark—so they tried to light the way for him. This reminds me of one[49] ceremony that was particularly meaningful. All the little grandchildren were gathered, and they were given lit candles; then they paraded around the bier, going round and round many times, holding the candles steadily and looking serious and thoughtful.
Then the widow came out with a woman on either side supporting her. And she walked round and round her husband, with the tears rolling down her face, and she wailed the widow's wail, with her very heart in it. Why had he gone away and left her desolate? His was the spirit of fragrance like the scented sandal-wood; his was the arm of strength like the lock that barred the door. Gone was the scent of the sandal, broken and open the door; why had the bird flown and left but the empty cage? Gone! was he gone? Was he really gone? Was it certain he was dead? He who had tossed and turned on the softest bed they could make, must he lie on the bed of his funeral pyre? Must he burn upon logs of wood? Say, was there no way to reach him, no way to help him now? "I have searched for thee, but I find thee not." And so the dirge moaned on.
Then the widow came out with a woman on either side supporting her. She walked around her husband, tears streaming down her face, and she wailed with all her heart. Why had he left her alone? He had been like the sweet fragrance of sandalwood; he had been like the strong lock on the door. The scent of sandalwood was gone, the door was broken open; why had the bird flown, leaving only an empty cage? Gone! Was he really gone? Was it certain he was dead? He who had tossed and turned on the softest bed they could make, must he lie on his funeral pyre? Must he burn on logs of wood? Tell me, was there no way to reach him, no way to help him now? "I have searched for you, but I can't find you." And so the lament continued.
I could not hear all this then; Victory told it to me, and much more, afterwards. "Last time I heard it," she said, "I was inside, wailing too."
I couldn't hear all this back then; Victory told me about it, and a lot more, later. "The last time I heard it," she said, "I was inside, crying too."
As the poor widow went round and round she stopped each time she got to the feet, and embraced them fervently. Sometimes she broke through all restraint, and clasped him in her arms.
As the poor widow went in circles, she paused each time she reached his feet and hugged them tightly. Sometimes she lost all control and wrapped him in her arms.

After many ceremonies had been performed, the men all went away, and the women were left to bid farewell to the form soon to be carried out. Then the men came back[50] and bore him across the courtyard, and paused under the arch outside, while the women all rushed out, tearing their hair and beating themselves and wailing wildly. As they were lifting the bier to depart the cry was, "Stop! stop! Will he not speak?" And this, chanted again and again, would have made the coldest care. Then when all was over, and the long procession, headed by the tom-toms and conch shells, had passed out of sight, the women pressed in again, and each first let down her hair, and seized her nearest neighbour, and they all flung themselves on the ground and knocked their heads against it, and then, rising to a sitting posture, they held on to one another, swaying backwards and forwards and chanting in time to the swaying, in chorus and antiphone. All this, even to the hair-tearing and head-knocking, was copied by the children who were present with terrible fidelity.
After many ceremonies were held, the men all left, and the women stayed behind to say goodbye to the body that was soon to be taken away. Then the men returned[50] and carried him across the courtyard, pausing under the arch outside, while the women rushed out, tearing their hair, beating themselves, and wailing loudly. As they were lifting the bier to leave, someone cried out, "Stop! Stop! Will he not speak?" This chant, repeated over and over, would have touched even the coldest heart. Once everything was over, and the long procession, led by the drumming and conch shells, had vanished from sight, the women gathered again. Each one first let down her hair, grabbed her closest neighbor, and they all threw themselves on the ground, banging their heads against it. Then, rising to sit up, they held onto each other, swaying back and forth while chanting in rhythm together, in chorus and call-and-response. All of this, including the hair-tearing and head-banging, was mimicked by the children present with remarkable accuracy.
We sat down among them. They took our hands and rocked us in the orthodox way. But we did not wail and we did not undo our hair. We tried to speak comforting words to those who were really in grief, but we found it was not the time. A fortnight later we went again, and found the house door open because we had been with them that day.
We sat down with them. They held our hands and rocked us in the traditional way. But we didn’t cry and we didn’t let our hair down. We tried to say comforting words to those who were truly grieving, but we realized it wasn’t the right moment. Two weeks later, we went back and found the front door open because we had been there that day.
But we could not help them then, so we rose and were going away, when, held by the power of that dirge of theirs, I turned to look again. The last rays of the afternoon sun were lighting up the courtyard, and shining on the masses of black hair and grey. As I looked they got up one by one, and put their disordered dress to rights, and shook out the dust from their glossy hair,[51] and did it up again. And one by one, without farewell of any sort, they went away. An hour later we met groups of them coming home from bathing. They would not touch us then. Afterwards the chief mourners came out and bathed, and went all round the village wailing. And the last thing I saw, as the sun set over the hills and the place grew chill and dark, was the old widow, worn out now, returning home in her wet things, wailing still.
But we couldn’t help them then, so we got up and were about to leave when, caught by the power of their dirge, I turned to look again. The last rays of the afternoon sun lit up the courtyard and shone on their masses of black and gray hair. As I watched, they stood up one by one, straightened their messy clothes, and shook the dust out of their shiny hair, styling it again. One by one, without saying goodbye, they walked away. An hour later, we saw groups of them coming back from bathing. They wouldn’t touch us then. Afterward, the main mourners came out, bathed, and went around the village wailing. And the last thing I saw, as the sun set over the hills and the place grew cool and dark, was the old widow, now exhausted, returning home in her wet clothes, still wailing.[51]
I write this under a sense of the solemnity of being "a servant . . . separated unto the Gospel." I would not write one word lightly. But oh! may I ask you to face it? Are we honest towards God? If we were, would these people be left to die as they are being left to die?
I write this with a deep awareness of being "a servant... dedicated to the Gospel." I wouldn't say anything without careful thought. But can I ask you to confront this? Are we truly honest with God? If we were, would these people be allowed to suffer and die as they currently are?
We feel for them. But feelings will not save souls; it cost God Calvary to win us.
We sympathize with them. But sympathy won't save souls; it cost God Calvary to redeem us.
It will cost us as much as we may know of the fellowship of His sufferings, if those for whom He died that day are ever to be won.
It will cost us as much as we understand about the fellowship of His sufferings if those for whom He died that day are ever going to be saved.
I am writing in the midst of the sights and the sounds of life. There is life in the group of women at the well; life in the voices, in the splash of the water, in the cry of a child, in the call of the mother; life in the flight of the parrots as they flock from tree to tree; life in their chatter as they quarrel and scream; life, everywhere life. How can I think out of all this, back into death again?
I’m writing in the middle of the sights and sounds of life. There’s life in the group of women at the well; life in their voices, in the splash of the water, in the cry of a child, in the call of a mother; life in the flight of the parrots as they move from tree to tree; life in their chatter as they argue and shout; life, everywhere life. How can I possibly think through all this and back into death again?
But I want to, for you may live for many a year in India without being allowed to see once what we have[52] seen twice within two months, and it cannot be for nothing that we saw it. We must be meant to show it to you.
But I want to, because you could live in India for many years without ever getting the chance to see what we have[52] seen twice in just two months, and it can't be for no reason that we experienced it. We must be meant to share it with you.

The Picture-catching Missie and I were in the Village of the Tamarind Tree, when for the second time I saw it. They are very friendly there, and just as in the Red Lake Village they let us look behind the curtain, so here again they pushed it back, and let us in, and went on with their business, not minding us. We crouched up close together on the only scrap of empty space, and watched.
The picture-taking Missie and I were in the Village of the Tamarind Tree when I saw it for the second time. The people there are very friendly, and just like in Red Lake Village, they allowed us to look behind the curtain. Here too, they pulled it back, let us in, and went on with their activities without paying us any mind. We huddled together in the only bit of empty space and watched.
Everything was less intense; the dead was only a poor and very old widow who had lived her life out, and was not wanted. There were no near kindred, only relations by marriage; it was evident everyone went through the form without emotion of any sort.
Everything felt less intense; the deceased was just a poor, very old widow who had lived her life and was no longer wanted. There were no close family members, only relatives by marriage; it was clear that everyone was going through the motions without any real emotion.
The woman lay on a rough bier on the floor, and round her crowded a dozen old women. At her head there was a brass vessel of water, a lamp-stand, some uncooked rice, and some broken cocoanuts. Just before we came in they had filled a little brass vessel from the larger one. Now one of the old hags walked round the dead three times, pouring the water out as she walked. Then another fed her—fed that poor dead mouth, stuffed it in so roughly it made us sick and faint. There were other things done hurriedly, carelessly; we could not follow them. The last was the rubbing on of ashes—she had been a worshipper of Siva—also they covered the closed eyes with ashes and patted them down flat. And all the time the gabble of the women mocked at the silence of death. There was no reverence, no sense of[53] solemnity; the ceremonial so full of symbol to its makers, the thinkers of Védic times, was to them simply a custom, a set of customs, to be followed and got through as quickly as might be by heedless hands. And yet they faithfully carried out every detail they knew, and they finished their heartless work and called to the men to come. The men were waiting outside. They came in and carried her out.
The woman lay on a rough bier on the floor, surrounded by a dozen old women. At her head was a brass container of water, a lamp stand, some uncooked rice, and some broken coconuts. Just before we arrived, they had filled a small brass container from the larger one. Now, one of the old women walked around the dead body three times, pouring the water as she went. Then another one fed her—stuffed food into that poor dead mouth so roughly it made us feel sick and faint. Other things were done quickly and carelessly; we couldn’t keep up with them. The last part was rubbing on ashes—she had been a worshipper of Siva—they also covered her closed eyes with ashes and patted them down flat. And all the while, the chatter of the women mocked the silence of death. There was no respect, no sense of solemnity; the ceremony so rich in symbolism for its creators, the thinkers of Vedic times, was merely a custom for them, a series of rituals to be completed as quickly as possible by careless hands. Yet they faithfully executed every detail they knew, finished their heartless work, and called for the men outside. The men came in and carried her out.
It seemed impossible to think of a photograph then; it was most unlikely they would let us take one, and we hardly felt in the spirit of picture-catching. Yet we thought of you, and of how you certainly could never see it unless we could show it to you; and we wanted to show it to you, so we asked them if we might. Of course if there had been real grief, as in the other I had seen, we could not have asked it, it would have been intrusion; but here there was none—that was the pathos of it. And they were very friendly, so they put their burden on the ground, and waited.
It felt impossible to think about taking a picture then; it was pretty unlikely they would let us, and we hardly felt in the mood for capturing moments. Still, we thought of you and how you could never see it unless we could show it to you; and we really wanted to share it with you, so we asked if we could. Of course, if there had been real sadness, like in the other one I had seen, we wouldn't have dared to ask—it would have been intrusive; but there was none here—that was the poignant part. And they were really nice, so they set their burden down on the ground and waited.
There it is. To the right the barber stands with his fire-bowl hanging from a chain; this is to light the funeral pyre. The smoke interfered with the photo, but then it is true to life. To the left stands the man with the shell ready to blow. At the back, with the sacred ashes rubbed on forehead and breast and arms, stand the two nearest relatives, who to-morrow will gather the ashes and throw them into the stream.
There it is. To the right, the barber stands with his bowl of fire hanging from a chain; this is to light the funeral pyre. The smoke got in the way of the photo, but then again, it feels true to life. To the left stands the man with the shell, ready to blow. In the back, with sacred ashes rubbed on their forehead, chest, and arms, are the two closest relatives, who tomorrow will collect the ashes and scatter them in the stream.
The picture was caught. The man with the shell blew it, the man with the fire came in front, the bearers lifted the bier; they went away with their dead.
The picture was captured. The man with the shell blew it, the man with the fire stepped forward, the bearers lifted the coffin; they carried away their dead.

Then the old women, who had been pressing through[54] the open door, rushed back in the usual way and began the usual rock and dirge. These Comparison Songs are always full of soul. They have sprung into being in times of deepest feeling, taken shape when hearts were as finely wrought moulds which left their impress upon them. And to hear them chanted without any soul is somehow a pitiful thing, a sort of profanation, like the singing of sacred words for pay.
Then the old women, who had been pushing through[54] the open door, rushed back in as usual and started the typical rock and dirge. These Comparison Songs are always filled with emotion. They come to life in times of deep feeling, shaped when hearts were like finely crafted molds that left their mark on them. And to hear them sung without any feeling is somehow sad, a kind of disrespect, like singing sacred words for money.
The photograph was not easy to take, the space was so confined, the movement so continuous, the commotion so confusing. How it was taken I know not; the women massed on the floor were not still for more than a moment. In that moment it was done. Then we persuaded three of them to risk the peril of being caught alone. They would not move farther than the wall of the house, and as it was in a narrow street, again there were difficulties. But the crowning perplexity was at the water-side. It was windy, and our calls were blown away, so they did not hear what we wanted them to do, and they splashed too vigorously. Their only idea just then was to get themselves and their garments ceremonially clean, defiled as they were by contact with the dead.
The photograph was hard to take; the space was so cramped, the movement so constant, and the chaos so overwhelming. How it was captured, I don’t know; the women packed on the floor weren’t still for more than a moment. In that split second, it happened. Then we convinced three of them to take the risk of being alone. They wouldn’t go farther than the wall of the house, and since it was in a narrow street, there were more challenges. But the biggest issue was by the water. It was windy, and our shouts got carried away, so they didn’t hear what we wanted them to do, and they splashed around too much. At that moment, their only thought was to clean themselves and their clothes ceremonially, as they were stained from contact with the dead.
But let those six whom you can partly see stand for the thousands upon thousands whom you cannot see at all. Those thousands are standing in water to-day from the North to the uttermost South, as the last act in the drama which they have played in the presence of the dead.
But let those six you can partly see represent the thousands upon thousands you can't see at all. Those thousands are standing in water today from the North to the very South, as the final act in the drama they have performed in front of the dead.
The women have gone from the well. The parrots have flown to other trees. The Tamils say the body is the sheath of the soul. I think of that empty sheath[55] I saw, and wonder where the soul has flown. It has gone—but where? Has it gone home, like the women from the well? Has it flown far, like the birds among the trees? It has gone, it has gone, that is all we know. It has gone.
The women have left the well. The parrots have moved to other trees. The Tamils say the body is the sheath of the soul. I think of that empty sheath[55] I saw, and wonder where the soul has gone. It has left—but where? Has it gone home, like the women from the well? Has it flown far, like the birds in the trees? It has gone, it has gone, that’s all we know. It has gone.
Then I read these words from Conybeare and Howson's translation: "If the tent which is my earthly house be destroyed I have a mansion built by God . . . eternal in the heavens. And herein I groan with earnest longings, desiring to cover my earthly raiment with the robes of my heavenly mansion. . . . And He who has prepared me for this very end is God."
Then I read these words from Conybeare and Howson's translation: "If the tent that is my earthly home is destroyed, I have a building made by God . . . eternal in the heavens. And because of this, I long earnestly, wanting to take off my earthly clothes and put on the robes of my heavenly home. . . . And God is the one who has prepared me for this very purpose."
The dead man missed his End. That old dead woman missed it too. And the millions around us still alive are missing their End to-day. "This very End"—think of it—Mortality swallowed up in Life—Death only an absence, Life for ever a presence—Present with the Lord who has prepared us "for this very End."
The dead man missed his end. That old dead woman missed it too. And the millions around us who are still alive are missing their end today. "This very end"—think about it—Mortality absorbed in Life—Death just a lack of presence, Life always a presence—Present with the Lord who has prepared us "for this very end."
Can we enjoy it all by ourselves? Will there be no sense of incompleteness if the many are outside, missing it all because they missed their End? Will the glory make us glad if they are somewhere far away from it and God? Will not heaven be almost an empty place to one who has never tried to fill it? Yet there is room, oh so much room, for those we are meant to bring in with us!
Can we really experience it all on our own? Will we feel incomplete if so many are outside, missing everything because they didn’t seize their opportunity? Will the glory still make us happy if they are far away from it and from God? Won't heaven feel almost empty to someone who has never tried to fill it? Yet there is so much space, oh so much space, for those we are meant to invite in with us!
And there is room, oh so much room, along the edge of the precipice. There are gaps left all unguarded. Can it be that you are meant to guard one of those gaps? If so, it will always remain as it is, a falling-point for those rivers of souls, unless you come.[56]
And there’s so much space along the edge of the cliff. There are gaps that are completely unprotected. Could it be that you’re supposed to watch over one of those gaps? If that’s the case, it will always stay the same, a drop-off for those rivers of souls, unless you arrive.[56]
Are these things truth or are they imagination? If they are imagination—then let the paper on which they are written be burnt, burnt till it curls up and the words fall into dust. But if they are true—then what are we going to do? Not what are we going to say or sing, or even feel or pray—but what are we going to do?
Are these things true or just our imagination? If they’re just imagination—then let the paper they’re written on be burned, burned until it curls up and the words turn to dust. But if they’re true—then what are we going to do? Not what are we going to say or sing, or even feel or pray—but what are we going to do?

CHAPTER VII
"The Dust of the Actual"
"This may be counted as our richest gain, to have learned afresh one's utter impotency so completely that the past axiom of service, 'I can no more convert a soul than create a star,' comes to be an awful revelation, so that God alone may be exalted in that day."
"This could be seen as our greatest achievement, to have learned once again our total inability so completely that the old saying of service, 'I can no more convert a soul than create a star,' becomes a shocking realization, so that God alone can be honored on that day."
"May we come in?" Chorus, "Come in! oh, come in!" and in we go. It is a tiny, narrow slip of a room. At one end there is a fire burning on the ground; the smoke finds its way out through the roof, and a pot of rice set on three stones is bubbling cheerfully. No fear of defilement here. They would not like us to touch their rice or to see them eating it, but they do not mind our being in the room where it is being cooked.
"Can we come in?" Chorus, "Come in! oh, come in!" and in we go. It’s a small, narrow room. At one end, there's a fire burning on the ground; the smoke escapes through the roof, and a pot of rice sits on three stones, bubbling happily. There's no worry about contamination here. They wouldn't want us to touch their rice or see them eating it, but they don’t mind us being in the room where it’s being cooked.
At the other end of the narrow slip there is a goat-pen, not very clean; and down one side there is a raised mud place where the family apparently sleep. This side[58] and the two ends are roofed by palmyra palm. It is dry and crackles at a touch, and you touch it every time you stand up, so bits of it are constantly falling and helping to litter the open space below.
At the other end of the narrow passage, there’s a goat pen that isn’t very clean. Along one side, there’s a raised muddy area where the family seems to sleep. This side[58] and the two ends are covered with palmyra palm. It’s dry and crackles when you touch it, and you touch it every time you stand up, so bits are always falling and adding to the mess in the open space below.

Five babies at different stages of refractoriness are sprawling about on this strip of floor; they make noises all the time. Half a dozen imbecile-looking old women crowd in through the low door, and stare and exchange observations. Three young men with nothing particular to do lounge at the far end of the platform near the goats. A bright girl, with more jewellery on than is usual among Pariahs, is tending the fire at the end near the door; she throws a stick or two on as we enter, and hurries forward to get a mat. We sit down on the mat, and she sits beside us; and the usual questions are asked and answered by way of introduction. There is a not very clean old woman diligently devouring betel; another with an enormous mouth, which she always holds wide open; another with a very loud voice and a shock of unspeakable hair. But they listen fairly well till a goat creates a diversion by making a remark, and a baby—a jolly little scrap in its nice brown skin and a bangle—yells, and everyone's attention concentrates upon it.
Five babies at different stages of being fussy are sprawled out on this patch of floor, making noise nonstop. A handful of dazed-looking older women crowd through the low door, staring and chatting among themselves. Three young guys with nothing much to do are lounging at the far end of the platform by the goats. A lively girl, adorned with more jewelry than is typical for Pariahs, is tending the fire by the door; she adds a couple of sticks as we walk in and rushes to grab a mat. We sit down on the mat, and she takes a seat next to us; the usual questions are asked and answered as part of the introduction. There’s an old woman who isn’t very clean, intently chewing betel; another one with a huge mouth that she keeps wide open; and yet another with a very loud voice and a wild mess of hair. But they listen reasonably well until a goat interrupts by making a noise, and a baby—a cheerful little thing in its nice brown skin with a bangle—lets out a scream, drawing everyone’s attention to it.
The goat subsides, the baby is now in its mother's arms; so we go on where we left off, and I watch the bright young girl, and notice that she listens as one who understands. She looks rather superior; her rose-coloured seeley is clean, and two large gold jewels are in each ear; she has a little gold necklet round her throat, and silver bangles and toe rings. All the others are[59] hopelessly grubby and very unenlightened, but they listen just as most people listen in church, with a sort of patient expression. It is the proper thing to do.
The goat calms down, and the baby is now in its mother's arms; so we continue from where we stopped, and I watch the bright young girl, noticing that she listens like someone who gets it. She has a somewhat superior air; her rose-colored dress is clean, and she wears two large gold earrings in each ear; she has a little gold necklace around her neck, along with silver bangles and toe rings. Everyone else is[59] hopelessly dirty and quite uninformed, but they listen just like most people do in church, with a sort of patient expression. It’s what’s expected.
I am talking to them now, and till I am half-way through nobody says anything, when suddenly the girl remarks, "We have ten fingers, not just one!" which is so astonishing that I stop and wonder what she can be thinking of. I was talking about the one sheep lost out of one hundred. What has that got to do with one finger and ten? She goes on to explain, "I have heard all this before. I have a sister who is a Christian, and once I stayed with her, and I heard all about your religion, and I felt in my heart it was good. But then I was married" ("tied," she said), "and of course I forgot about it; but now I remember, and I say if ten of our people will join and go over to your Way, that will be well, but what would be the use of one going? What is the use of one finger moving by itself? It takes ten to do the day's work."
I’m talking to them now, and until I’m halfway through, nobody says anything. Then suddenly, the girl pipes up, “We have ten fingers, not just one!” which is so surprising that I stop and wonder what she’s thinking. I was talking about the one sheep that got lost out of a hundred. What does that have to do with one finger and ten? She continues, “I’ve heard all this before. I have a sister who’s a Christian, and once I stayed with her, and I learned all about your religion, and I felt in my heart that it was good. But then I got married” (“tied,” she said), “and of course I forgot about it; but now I remember, and I think if ten of our people will join and switch to your Way, that’s great, but what would be the point of just one going? What’s the point of one finger moving by itself? It takes ten to get the day’s work done.”
"If ten of you had cholera, and I brought you cholera medicine, would you say, 'I won't take it unless nine others take it too'?" I replied. She laughs and the others laugh, but a little uneasily. They hardly like this reference to the dreaded cholera; death of the body is so much more tremendous in prospect than death of the soul. "You would take it, and then the others, seeing it do you good, would perhaps take it too"; and we try to press home the point of the illustration. But a point pricks, and pricking is uncomfortable.
"If ten of you had cholera and I offered you cholera medicine, would you really say, 'I won't take it unless nine others take it too'?" I asked. She laughs, and the others chuckle a bit, but there's a hint of discomfort in their laughter. They don't like the mention of the feared cholera; the idea of physical death feels much more terrifying than spiritual death. "You would take it, and then the others, seeing it help you, might consider taking it too," and we try to drive home the point of the analogy. But a point can sting, and stinging isn’t pleasant.
The three men begin to shuffle their feet and talk about other things; the old mother-in-law proposes[60] betel all round, and hands us some grimy-looking leaves with a pressing invitation to partake. The various onlookers make remarks, and the girl devotes herself to her baby. But she is thinking; one can see old memories are stirred. At last with a sigh she gets up, looks round the little indifferent group, goes over to the fireplace, and blows up the fire. This means we had better say salaam; so we say it and they say it, adding the usual "Go and come."
The three men start shuffling their feet and switch to other topics; the elderly mother-in-law offers[60]betel to everyone and hands us some dirty-looking leaves, insisting we join in. The onlookers make comments, and the girl focuses on her baby. But she's deep in thought; you can tell old memories are being stirred. Finally, with a sigh, she stands up, surveys the disinterested group, walks over to the fireplace, and stirs the fire. This signals that we should say our goodbyes; so we do, and they respond with the usual "Go and come."
It will be easier to help these people out of their low levels than it will be to help their masters of the higher walks of life. But to do anything genuine or radical among either set of people is never really easy.
It will be easier to help these people out of their low situations than to help their masters from the higher levels of society. However, doing anything truly meaningful or transformative for either group is never really easy.
"It takes the Ideal to blow a hair's-breadth off the Dust of the Actual."
"It takes an ideal to lift even a tiny bit off the reality."
It takes more. It takes God. It takes God to do anything anywhere. Yesterday we were visiting in one of the Caste villages, and one old lady, who really seems to care for us, said she would greatly like to take my hand in hers; "but," she explained, "this morning one of the children of the place leaned over the edge of the tank to drink, and he fell in and was drowned; so I have been to condole with his people, and I have now returned from bathing, and do not feel equal to bathing again." If she touched me she would have to bathe to get rid of the defilement. Of course I assured her I quite understood, but as she sat there within two inches of me, yet so carefully preserving inviolate those two inches of clear space, I felt what a small thing this caste-created distance was, the merest "Dust of the Actual" on the surface of the system of her life; and yet, "to blow a[61] hair's-breadth of it off, nothing less is needed than the breath of the power of God." "Come, O Breath, and breathe!" we cry. Nothing else will do.
It takes more. It takes God. It takes God to make anything happen, anywhere. Yesterday, we were visiting one of the Caste villages, and an elderly woman who really seems to care about us said she would love to take my hand in hers; "but," she explained, "this morning, one of the local children leaned over the edge of the tank to drink and fell in and drowned. So, I went to offer my condolences to his family, and I just got back from bathing. I don't feel up to bathing again." If she touched me, she would have to bathe again to cleanse herself of the impurity. Of course, I assured her that I completely understood, but as she sat there just two inches away from me, carefully maintaining that two inches of clear space, I realized how trivial this caste-imposed distance was—just the slightest "Dust of the Actual" on the surface of her life’s system; and yet, "to blow a[61] hair's-breadth of it off, nothing less will do than the breath of the power of God." "Come, O Breath, and breathe!" we cry. Nothing else will suffice.
Something in our talk led to a question about the character of Jesus, and, as we tried to describe a little of the loveliness of our dear Lord to her, her dark eyes kindled. "How beautiful it is!" she said; "how beautiful He must be!" She seemed "almost persuaded," but we knew it was only almost, not quite; for she does not yet know her need of a Saviour, she has no sense of sin. Sometimes, it is true, that comes later; but we find that if the soul is to resist the tremendous opposing forces which will instantly be brought to bear upon it if it turns in the least towards Christ, there must be a conviction wrought within it; nothing so superficial as a feeling, be it ever so appreciative or hopeful or loving, will stand that strain.
Something in our conversation sparked a question about the character of Jesus, and as we attempted to convey a bit of the beauty of our dear Lord to her, her dark eyes lit up. "How beautiful it is!" she said; "how beautiful He must be!" She seemed "almost persuaded," but we knew it was just almost, not quite; because she doesn't yet recognize her need for a Savior, she has no sense of sin. Sometimes, that's true, that awareness comes later; but we find that if the soul is to withstand the immense opposing forces that will immediately come into play if it turns even slightly toward Christ, there must be a conviction created within it; nothing as superficial as a feeling, no matter how appreciative, hopeful, or loving, will withstand that pressure.
So, though the eyes of this dear woman fill with tears as she hears of the price of pain He paid, and though she gladly listens as we read and talk with her and pray, yet we know the work has not gone deep, and we make our "petitions deep" for her, and go on.
So, even though this dear woman's eyes well up with tears as she hears about the pain He endured, and even though she happily listens as we read, talk, and pray with her, we know the work hasn't really gone deep. We earnestly keep her in our thoughts and prayers and continue on.
In India men must work among men, and women among women, but sometimes, in new places, as I have told before, we have to stop and talk with the men before they will let us pass. For example, one afternoon I was waylaid on my way to the women by the head of the household I was visiting, a fine old man of the usual type, courteous but opposed. He asked to look at my books. I had a Bible, a lyric book, and a book of stanzas bearing upon the Truth, copied from the old[62] Tamil classics. He pounced upon this. Then he began to chant the stanzas in their inimitable way, and at the sound several other old men drew round the verandah, till soon a dozen or more were listening with that appreciative expression they seem to reserve for their own beloved poetry.
In India, men usually work with men and women with women, but sometimes, in new situations, as I mentioned before, we have to pause and talk with the men before they allow us to pass. For example, one afternoon, I was stopped on my way to see the women by the head of the household I was visiting, a nice old man of the common sort, polite but resistant. He wanted to look at my books. I had a Bible, a poetry book, and a book of verses about the Truth, copied from the old [62] Tamil classics. He seized upon this. Then he started to recite the verses in their unique style, and as he did, several other old men gathered around the verandah, until soon a dozen or more were listening with that appreciative look they seem to reserve for their own cherished poetry.
After the reader had chanted through a dozen or more stanzas, he stopped abruptly and asked me if I really cared for it. Of course I said I did immensely, and only wished I knew more, for the Tamil classics are a study in themselves, and these beautiful ancient verses I had copied out were only gleanings from two large volumes, full of the wisdom of the East.
After the reader had gone through a dozen or more stanzas, he suddenly stopped and asked me if I really liked it. Of course, I said I did a lot and only wished I knew more because the Tamil classics are worth studying on their own, and these beautiful ancient verses I had copied were just excerpts from two large volumes, filled with the wisdom of the East.
They were all thoroughly friendly now, and we got into conversation. One of the group held that there are three co-eternal substances—God, the Soul, and Sin. Sin is eternally bound up in the soul, as verdigris is inherent in copper. It can be removed eventually by intense meditation upon God, and by the performance of arduous works of merit. But these exercises they all admitted were incompatible with the ordinary life of most people, and generally impracticable. And so the fact is, the verdigris of sin remains.
They were all really friendly now, and we started chatting. One person in the group argued that there are three eternal substances—God, the Soul, and Sin. Sin is always tied to the soul, just like verdigris is a part of copper. It can eventually be removed through deep meditation on God and by doing challenging good deeds. However, everyone agreed that these practices are not realistic for most people's everyday lives and are usually unfeasible. So, the truth is, the verdigris of sin stays.
I remember the delight with which I discovered that Isaiah i. 25 uses this very illustration; for the word translated "dross" in English is the colloquial word for verdigris in Tamil; so the verse reads, "I will turn My hand to thee, and thoroughly purify thee, so as to remove thy verdigris."
I remember the joy I felt when I found out that Isaiah 1:25 uses this same illustration, because the word translated as "dross" in English is the everyday term for verdigris in Tamil; so the verse reads, "I will turn My hand to you and thoroughly purify you, so as to remove your verdigris."
Most of the others held a diametrically opposite view. So far from Soul and Sin being co-eternal with God[63] they are not really existent at all. Both are illusory. There is only one existent entity. It is the Divine Spirit, and it has neither personality nor any personal qualities. All apparent separate existences are delusive. Meditation, of the same absorbing type held necessary by the other, is the only way to reach the stage of enlightenment which leads to reabsorption into the Divine essence, in which we finally merge, and lose what appeared to be our separate identity. We are lost in God, as a drop is lost in the ocean.
Most of the others had a completely different viewpoint. Far from being co-eternal with God, Soul and Sin don’t really exist at all. Both are illusions. There is only one true entity, which is the Divine Spirit, and it has no personality or personal traits. All seemingly separate existences are deceptive. Meditation, like the kind that the others see as essential, is the only way to achieve the enlightenment that leads to being reabsorbed into the Divine essence, where we ultimately merge and lose what seemed like our separate identity. We become lost in God, just like a drop of water is lost in the ocean.
Some of the men advocated a phase of truth which reminds one of Calvinism gone mad, and others exactly opposite are extravagantly Arminian. The Calvinists illustrate their belief by a single illuminating word, Cat-hold, and the Arminians by another, Monkey-hold. Could you find better illustrations? The cat takes up the kitten and carries it in its mouth; the kitten is passive, the cat does everything. But the little monkey holds on to its mother, and clings with might and main. Those who have watched the "cat-hold" in the house, and the "monkey-hold" out in the jungle, can appreciate the accuracy of these two illustrations.
Some of the men supported a version of truth that feels like a crazed form of Calvinism, while others are completely the opposite and are excessively Arminian. The Calvinists illustrate their belief with a single striking term, Cat-hold, and the Arminians with another, Monkey-hold. Can you think of better examples? The cat picks up the kitten and carries it in its mouth; the kitten is passive, and the cat does everything. But the little monkey clings to its mother and holds on with all its strength. Those who have seen the "cat-hold" at home and the "monkey-hold" in the jungle can recognize the precision of these two examples.
But running through every form of Hinduism, however contradictory each to the other may be, there is the underlying thought of pure and simple Pantheism. And this explains many of the aforesaid contradictions, and many of the incongruities which are constantly cropping up and bewildering one who is trying to understand the Hindu trend of thought. So, though those men all affirmed that there is only one God, they admitted that they each worshipped several. They saw nothing inconsistent[64] in this. Just as the air is in everything, so God is in everything, therefore in the various symbols. And as our King has divers representative Viceroys and Governors to rule over his dominions in his name, so the Supreme has these sub-deities, less in power and only existing by force of Himself, and He, being all-pervasive, can be worshipped under their forms.
But throughout every form of Hinduism, no matter how contradictory they may seem to each other, there is a fundamental concept of pure and simple Pantheism. This helps explain many of the contradictions mentioned earlier, as well as the inconsistencies that often arise and confuse anyone trying to grasp the Hindu way of thinking. So, even though those individuals all claimed there is only one God, they acknowledged that they each worshipped multiple deities. They saw nothing contradictory in this. Just as air is present in everything, God is in everything, therefore in the various symbols. And just as our King has various representative Viceroys and Governors to manage his territories in his name, the Supreme has these lower deities, lesser in power and existing only because of Him. Being all-pervasive, He can be worshipped through their forms.
This argument they all unitedly pressed upon me that afternoon, and though capital answers probably present themselves to your mind, you might not find they satisfied the Hindu who argues along lines of logic peculiar to the East, and subtle enough to mystify the practical Western brain; and then—for we are conceited as well as practical—we are apt to pity the poor Hindu for being so unlike ourselves; and if we are wholly unsympathetic, we growl that there is nothing in the argument, whereas there is a good deal in it, only we do not see it, because we have never thought out the difficulty in question. Quite opposite, sometimes we have to meet a type of mind like that of MacDonald's student of Shakespeare, who "missed a plain point from his eyes being so sharp that they looked through it without seeing it, having focussed themselves beyond it." Assuredly there is much to learn before one can hope to understand the winding of the thread of thought which must be traced if one would follow the working of the Hindu mind. Let no one with a facility for untying mental knots think that his gift would be wasted in India!
This argument was something they all pressed on me that afternoon, and while you might come up with great responses in your head, they probably wouldn't satisfy the Hindu who reasons in ways that are unique to the East, and subtle enough to confuse practical Western thinkers. And then—since we can be both arrogant and practical—we tend to feel sorry for the poor Hindu for being so different from us; and if we are completely unsympathetic, we complain that there’s nothing to the argument, when in fact there’s a lot in it, we just don’t see it because we haven't thought through the issue at hand. On the flip side, sometimes we encounter someone like MacDonald's student of Shakespeare, who "missed a plain point because his sharp eyes looked through it without noticing it, having focused themselves beyond it." There’s definitely a lot to learn before you can hope to understand the complex thinking that must be followed if you want to grasp how the Hindu mind works. So, anyone skilled at untangling mental knots shouldn't think their talent would be wasted in India!
The word that struck those men that afternoon was 1 John v. 11 and 12: "God hath given us eternal life,[65] and this life is in His Son. He that hath the Son hath life, and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life." I was longing to get to the women, but when they began to read those verses and ask about the meaning, I could not go without trying to tell them. Oh, how one needed at that moment Christ to become to us Wisdom, for it is just here one may so easily make mistakes. Put the truth of God's relation to the soul subjectively—"He that hath the Son hath life"—before thoughtful Hindus such as these men were, and they will be perfectly enchanted; for the Incarnation presents no difficulty to them, as it would to a Mohammedan; and perhaps, to your sudden surprise and joy, they will say, that is exactly what they are prepared to believe. "Christ in me"—this is comprehensible. "The indwelling of the Spirit of God"—this is analogous to their own phrase: "The indwelling of the Deity in the lotus of the heart." But probably by trading on words and expressions which are already part of the Hindu terminology, and which suggest to them materialistic ideas, we may seriously mislead and be misled. We need to understand not only what the Hindu says, but also what his words mean to himself, a very different thing.
The words that impacted those men that afternoon were 1 John 5:11-12: "God has given us eternal life, [65] and this life is in His Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life." I was eager to reach the women, but when they started reading those verses and asking about their meaning, I couldn’t hold back from trying to explain. Oh, how much we needed Christ to be our Wisdom at that moment, as it’s so easy to make mistakes here. Present the truth of God’s relationship with the soul in a personal way—“Whoever has the Son has life”—to thoughtful Hindus like these men, and they will be completely enchanted; they don’t struggle with the concept of the Incarnation as a Muslim might; and maybe, to your surprise and joy, they will say that this is exactly what they are ready to believe. “Christ in me”—this makes sense. “The indwelling of the Spirit of God”—this is similar to their own expression: “The indwelling of the Deity in the lotus of the heart.” But by relying on words and phrases that are already part of Hindu terminology and suggest materialistic ideas to them, we may easily mislead ourselves and others. We need to understand not just what the Hindu says, but also what those words really mean to him, which is a very different matter.
That talk ended in a promise from the men that they would arrange a meeting of Hindus for the Iyer, if he would come and take it, which of course he did. I should like to finish up by saying, "and several were converted," but as yet that would not be true. These deep-rooted ancient and strong philosophies are formidable enough, when rightly understood, to make us feel how little we can do to overturn them; but they are[66] just as "Dust" in comparison with the force of the "Actual" entrenched behind them. Only superficial Dust; and yet, as in every other case, nothing but the Breath of God can blow this Dust away.
That conversation ended with the men promising to set up a meeting of Hindus for the Iyer, if he would come and take part, which he definitely did. I would love to wrap this up by saying, "and several were converted," but that wouldn't be true just yet. These deeply rooted, ancient, and strong philosophies are tough enough, when properly understood, to make us realize how little we can do to change them; but they are[66] just like "Dust" compared to the power of the "Actual" supporting them. Just superficial Dust; and yet, just like in every other situation, only the Breath of God can blow this Dust away.

We left the old men to their books and endless disquisitions, and went on to the women's quarter. There we saw a young child-widow, very fair and sweet and gentle, but quieter than a child should be; for she is a widow accursed. Her mind is keen—she wants to learn; but why should a widow learn, they say, why should her mind break bounds? She lives in a tiny mud-built house, in a tiny mud-walled yard; she may not go out beyond those walls, then why should she think beyond? But she is better off than most, for she lives with her mother, who loves her, and her father makes a pet of her, and so she is sheltered more or less from the cruel scourge of the tongue.
We left the old men with their books and endless discussions, and moved on to the women's area. There, we saw a young child-widow, very pretty and sweet and gentle, but quieter than a child should be; she’s a widow, and that’s seen as a curse. Her mind is sharp—she wants to learn; but people ask, why should a widow learn, why should she think beyond her limits? She lives in a small mud-built house, in a tiny mud-walled yard; she can’t go outside those walls, so why should she think beyond them? But she’s better off than most since she lives with her mother, who loves her, and her father dotes on her, which somewhat shields her from the harsh judgments of others.
There is another in the next courtyard; she is not sheltered so. She lives with her mother-in-law, and the world has lashed her heart for years; it is simply callous now. There she sits with her chin in her hand, just hard. Years ago they married her, an innocent, playful little child, to a man who died when she was nine years old. Then they tore her jewels from her, all but two little ear-rings, which they left in pity to her; and this poor little scrap of jewellery was her one little bit of joy. She could not understand it at first, and when her pretty coloured seeleys were taken away, and she had to wear the coarse white cloth she hated so, she cried with impotent childish wrath; and then she was punished, and called bitter names,—the very word widow means bitterness,—and[67] gradually she understood that there was something the matter with her. She was not like other little girls. She had brought ill-fortune to the home. She was accursed.
There’s another person in the next courtyard; she isn't sheltered like the others. She lives with her mother-in-law, and the world has hurt her heart for years; it's just numb now. There she sits with her chin in her hand, looking tough. Years ago they married her, an innocent, playful little girl, to a man who died when she was nine. Then they took away all her jewelry except for two small earrings, which they left out of pity; and this tiny bit of jewelry was her only source of joy. She couldn't understand it at first, and when her pretty colored dresses were taken away, forcing her to wear the rough white fabric she loathed, she cried with helpless childish anger; and then she was punished and called harsh names—the very word widow means bitterness—and[67] gradually she realized that something was wrong with her. She wasn't like other little girls. She had brought misfortune to the home. She was cursed.
It is true that some are more gently dealt with, and many belong to Castes where the yoke of Custom lies lighter; for these the point of the curse is blunted, there is only a dull sense of wrong. But in all the upper Castes the pressure is heavy, and there are those who feel intensely, feel to the centre of their soul, the sting of the shame of the curse.
It’s true that some are treated more gently, and many are from Castes where the burden of Custom is lighter; for them, the sting of the curse is dulled, and there’s just a vague feeling of wrong. But in all the upper Castes, the weight is heavy, and there are those who feel deeply, right to the core of their being, the sharp pain of the shame of the curse.
"It is fate," says the troubled mother; "who can escape his fate?" "It is sin," says the mother-in-law; and the rest of the world agrees. "'Where the bull goes, there goes its rope.' 'Deeds done in a former birth, in this birth burn.'"
"It’s fate," says the troubled mother; "who can escape their fate?" "It’s sin," says the mother-in-law; and everyone else agrees. "'Where the bull goes, there goes its rope.' 'Actions from a past life, in this life, cause suffering.'"
Much of the working of the curse is hidden behind shut doors. I saw a young widow last week whose mind is becoming deranged in consequence of the severity of the penance she is compelled to perform. When, as they put it, "the god of ill-fortune seizes her," that is, when she becomes violent, she is quietly "removed to another place." No one sees what is done to her there, but I know that part of the treatment consists in scratching her head with thorns, and then rubbing raw lime juice in—lime juice is like lemon juice, only more acid. When the paroxysm passes she reappears, and does penance till the next fit comes. This has been repeated three times within the last few months.
Much of how the curse works is kept behind closed doors. I saw a young widow last week whose mind is starting to break down because of the harsh penance she has to do. When, as they say, "the god of bad luck grabs her," meaning when she becomes aggressive, she is quietly "taken to another place." No one knows what happens to her there, but I know that part of the treatment involves scratching her head with thorns and then rubbing raw lime juice into it—lime juice is like lemon juice, but more acidic. When the episode ends, she comes back and does penance until the next outburst happens. This has happened three times in the last few months.
I was visiting in a Hindu house for two years before[68] I found out that all that time a girl of seventeen was kept alone in an upper room. "Let her weep," they said, quoting a proverb; "'though she weeps, will a widow's sorrow pass?'" Once a day, after dark, she was brought downstairs for a few minutes, and once a day, at noon, some coarse food was taken up to her. She is allowed downstairs now, but only in the back part of the house; she never thinks of resisting this decree—it, and all it stands for, is her fate. Sometimes the glad girl-life reasserts itself, and she plays and laughs with her sister-in-law's pretty baby boy; but if she hears a man's voice she disappears upstairs. There are proverbs in the language which tell why.
I spent two years visiting a Hindu household before[68] I discovered that a seventeen-year-old girl was kept alone in an upstairs room. "Let her cry," they said, referencing a saying; "'though she cries, will a widow's sorrow fade?'" Once a day, after dark, she was brought downstairs for a few minutes, and once a day, at noon, someone would take her some simple food. She can come downstairs now, but only to the back part of the house; she never thinks of resisting this rule—it, along with everything it represents, is her destiny. Sometimes, her joyful spirit breaks through, and she plays and laughs with her sister-in-law's adorable baby boy; but if she hears a man's voice, she quickly disappears upstairs. There are sayings in the language that explain why.
I sat on the verandah of a well-to-do Hindu house one day, and talked to the bright-looking women in their jewels and silks. And all the time, though little I knew it, a widow was tied up in a sack in one of the inner rooms. This wrong is a hidden wrong.
I sat on the porch of a wealthy Hindu home one day, chatting with the stylish women in their jewelry and silk outfits. Meanwhile, although I was mostly unaware, a widow was tied up in a sack in one of the back rooms. This injustice is a concealed injustice.
I do not think that anyone would call the Hindus distinctively cruel; in comparison with most other Asiatics their instincts are kind. A custom so merciless as this custom, which punishes the innocent with so grievous a punishment, does not seem to us to be natural to them. It seems like a parasite custom, which has struck its roots deep into the tree of Hindu social life, but is not part of it. Think of the power which must have been exerted somewhere by someone before the disposition of a nation could be changed.
I don’t think anyone would describe Hindus as uniquely cruel; their instincts are kinder compared to most other Asians. A practice as harsh as this one, which punishes the innocent with such severe consequences, doesn’t seem natural to them. It appears to be a parasitic custom that has embedded itself deep within the tree of Hindu social life, yet isn’t truly part of it. Consider the immense influence that must have been exerted at some point by someone to alter the nature of an entire nation.
This custom as it stands is formidable enough. Many a man, Indian and foreign, has fought it and failed. It is a huge and most rigorous system of tyrannical oppression,[69] a very pyramid to look at, old, immovable. But there is Something greater behind it. It is only the effect of a Cause—the Dust of the Actual.
This custom, as it is, is quite intimidating. Many men, both Indian and foreign, have challenged it and failed. It’s a massive and harsh system of oppressive control,[69] a relic that stands tall, old and unyielding. But there is something bigger driving it. It’s merely a result of a deeper Cause—the remnants of reality.
What can alter the custom? Strong writing or speaking, agitations, Acts of Parliament? All these surely have their part. They raise the question, stir the Dust—but blow it off? Oh no! nothing can touch the conscience of the people, and utterly reverse their view of things, and radically alter them, but God.
What can change the custom? Powerful writing or speaking, movements, Acts of Parliament? All of these definitely play a role. They bring up the questions, stir the dust—but clear it away? Oh no! Nothing can truly impact the conscience of the people and completely change their perspective or fundamentally alter them, except for God.
Yes, it is true, we may make the most of what has been done by Government, by missionaries and reformers, but there are times in the heart histories of all who look far enough down to see what goes on under the surface of things, when the sorrow takes shape in the Prophet's cry, "We have not wrought any deliverance in the earth!"
Yes, it's true, we can benefit from what has been accomplished by the government, missionaries, and reformers, but there are moments in the personal histories of everyone who looks closely enough to understand what’s really happening beneath the surface, when the sorrow manifests in the Prophet's cry, "We have not achieved any deliverance on the earth!"
It is true. We have not. We cannot even estimate the real weight of the lightest speck of the Dust that has settled on the life of this people. But we believe that our God, Who comprehended the dust of the earth in a measure, comprehends to the uttermost the Dust of the Actual, and we believe to see Him work, with Whom is strength and effectual working.
It’s true. We haven’t. We can’t even guess the actual weight of the tiniest speck of the Dust that has settled on the lives of this people. But we believe that our God, who understands the dust of the earth in a measure, fully understands the Dust of the Actual, and we believe we will see Him work, with whom there is strength and effective action.
We believe to see, and believing even now we see; and when we see anything, be it ever so little, when the Breath breathes, and even "a hair's-breadth" of that Dust is blown away, then, with an intensity I cannot describe, we feel the presence of the Lord our God among us, and look up in the silence of joy and expectation for the coming of the Day when all rule, and all authority and power, yea, the power of the very Actual itself, shall be put down, that God may be all in all.[70]
We believe we can see, and by believing, we actually do see; and when we notice anything, no matter how small, when the Breath breathes, and even "a hair's-breadth" of that Dust gets blown away, then, with a feeling I can’t fully explain, we sense the presence of the Lord our God among us, and we look up in a joyful, expectant silence for the Day to come when all rule, authority, and power, yes, the power of the very Actual itself, will be put aside, so that God can be all in all.[70]
So again and yet again we ask you to pray not less for the Reform movement, and the Educational movement, and the Civilising movement of India, but far more for the Movement of the Breath of God, and far more for us His workers here, that we may abide in Him without Whom we can do nothing.
So once again, we urge you to pray not just for the Reform movement, the Educational movement, and the Civilizing movement in India, but even more for the Movement of the Breath of God, and even more for us, His workers here, that we may remain in Him, without whom we can do nothing.
CHAPTER VIII
Roots
"It is not an easy thing in England to lead an old man or woman to Christ, even though the only 'root' which holds them from Him is love of the world. As the Tamil proverb says, 'That which did not bend at five will not be bent at fifty,' still less at sixty or seventy. When a soul in India is held down, not by one root only, but by a myriad roots, who is sufficient to deliver it? Only He who overturneth the mountains by the roots. 'This kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.'"
"It’s not easy in England to lead an older man or woman to Christ, even if the only thing keeping them away is their love for the world. As the Tamil proverb says, ‘What didn’t bend at five won’t bend at fifty,’ and even less so at sixty or seventy. When a soul in India is held down not by just one root, but by countless roots, who is strong enough to free it? Only the one who uproots mountains. ‘This kind can only be driven out by prayer and fasting.’"
"Yes (grunt), yes."
"Yeah (grunt), yeah."
"When we are old then death is near."
"When we're old, death is close."
"Yes (grunt), yes."
"Yeah (grunt), yeah."
"Then we must leave our bodies and go somewhere else."
"Then we have to leave our bodies and go somewhere else."
Three more grunts.
Three more groans.
"Amma, do you know where you are going?"
"Mom, do you know where you're going?"
Then the old woman wakes up a little, grunts a little more, "Who knows where she is going?" she mumbles, and relapses into grunts.
Then the old woman stirs awake a bit, makes some more sounds, "Who knows where she’s headed?" she mutters, and slips back into her mumbling.
"I know where I am going," the girl answers. "Amma, don't you want to know?"
"I know where I'm going," the girl replies. "Mom, don’t you want to know?"
"Don't I want to know what?"
"Don't I want to know what?"
"Where you are going."
"Where are you going?"
"Why do I want to know what?"
"Why do I want to know what?"
The girl goes over it again. The old woman turns to[72] her daughter-in-law. "Is the rice ready?" she says. The girl tries again. The old woman agrees we all must die. Death is near to the ancient; she is ancient, therefore death is near to her, she must go somewhere after death. It would be well to know where she is going. She does not know where she is going. Then she gazes and grunts.
The girl goes over it again. The old woman turns to[72] her daughter-in-law. "Is the rice ready?" she asks. The girl tries again. The old woman acknowledges that we all have to die. Death is close to the elderly; she is elderly, so death is close to her, and she must end up somewhere after death. It would be good to know where she is headed. She doesn't know where she is going. Then she looks off and grunts.

The girl tries on different lines. Whom is the old woman looking to, to help her when death comes?
The girl tries on different styles. Who is the old woman counting on to help her when death arrives?
"God."
"God."
"What God?"
"What God?"
"The great God." And rousing herself to express herself she declares that He is her constant meditation, therefore all is well. "Is the rice ready?"
"The great God." And taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she states that He is always on her mind, so everything is fine. "Is the rice ready?"
"No."
"Nope."
"Then give me some betel leaf," and she settles down to roll small pieces of lime into little balls, and these balls she rolls up in a betel leaf, with a bit of areca nut for taste, and this betel leaf she puts into her mouth—all this very slowly, and with many inarticulate sounds, which I have translated "grunts." And this is all she does. She does not want to listen or talk, she only wants to scrunch betel, and grunt.
"Then give me some betel leaf," and she sits down to roll small pieces of lime into little balls, which she wraps in a betel leaf, adding a piece of areca nut for flavor. She puts the betel leaf in her mouth—all of this happening very slowly, accompanied by many inarticulate sounds, which I’ve translated as "grunts." And this is all she does. She doesn’t want to listen or talk; she only wants to chew betel and grunt.
This is not a touching tale. It is only true. It happened this evening exactly as I have told it, and the girl, a distant connection of the old woman, who had come with me so delightedly, eager to tell the Good Tidings, had to give it up. She had begun by speaking about the love of Jesus, but that had fallen perfectly flat; so she had tried the more startling form of address, with this result—grunts.[73]
This isn't a sentimental story. It's simply true. It happened this evening just as I've described, and the girl, a distant relative of the old woman who had come with me so happily, eager to share the Good News, had to abandon her efforts. She started by talking about Jesus's love, but that fell completely flat; so she switched to a more dramatic approach, and the result was—grunts.[73]
I spent an afternoon not long ago with a more intelligent specimen. Here she is, a fine sturdy old character, one of the three you saw before. She was immensely interested with her photo, which I showed her, and she could not understand at all how, in the one moment when she stood against a wall, her face "had been caught on a piece of white paper." A little explanation opened the way for the greater thing I had come about. We were sitting on a mud verandah, opening on to a square courtyard; two women pounding rice, two more grinding it, another sweeping, a cow, some fowls, a great many children, and several babies, made it exceedingly difficult to concentrate one's attention on anything, and still more difficult to get the wandering brains of an old woman to concentrate on a subject in which she had no interest. She had been interested in the photograph, but that was different.
I spent an afternoon recently with a smarter individual. Here she is, a strong, interesting old woman, one of the three you saw before. She was really intrigued by the photo I showed her, and she couldn’t understand how, in that one moment when she was standing against a wall, her face "had been captured on a piece of white paper." A bit of explanation opened the door to the bigger reason I was there. We were sitting on a muddy porch that led to a square courtyard; two women were pounding rice, two more were grinding it, another was sweeping, there was a cow, some chickens, a lot of kids, and several babies, which made it really tough to focus on anything, and even harder to get the wandering thoughts of an old woman to concentrate on a subject she wasn't interested in. She had been interested in the photo, but that was different.
The conversation ended by her remarking that it was getting dark, ought I not to be going home? It was not getting dark yet, but it meant that she had had enough, so I salaamed and went, hoping for a better chance again. Next time we visited the Village of the Tamarind she was nowhere to be seen; she had gone to her own village, she had only come here for the funeral. Would she return, we asked? Not probable, they said, "she had come and gone." "Come and gone." As they said it, one felt how true it was. Come, for that one short afternoon within our reach; gone, out of it now for ever.
The conversation wrapped up when she mentioned that it was getting dark and suggested I should be heading home. It wasn’t actually dark yet, but it signaled she was done, so I nodded and left, hoping for a better opportunity in the future. The next time we visited the Village of the Tamarind, she was nowhere to be found; she had gone back to her own village, having only been there for the funeral. Would she be back, we asked? Not likely, they said, “she had come and gone.” “Come and gone.” Hearing it like that, you could really feel the truth of it. Come, for that one brief afternoon within our grasp; gone, out of it now forever.
In that same village there is one who more than any other drew one's heart out in affection and longing, but so far all in vain.[74]
In that same village, there is one who, more than anyone else, captured hearts with affection and longing, but so far, it’s all been in vain.[74]
I first saw her in the evening as we were returning home. She was sitting on her verandah, giving orders to the servants as they stood in the courtyard below. Then she turned and saw us. We were standing in the street, looking through the open door. The old lady, in her white garments, with her white hair, sat among a group of women in vivid shades of red, behind her the dark wood of the pillar and door, and above the carved verandah roof.
I first saw her in the evening as we were coming home. She was sitting on her porch, directing the servants who were gathered in the courtyard below. Then she turned and spotted us. We were standing in the street, peeking through the open door. The old lady, dressed in white, with her white hair, sat among a group of women in bright red, with the dark wood of the pillar and door behind her, and the carved porch roof above.
The men were fresh from the fields, and stood with their rough-looking husbandry implements slung across their shoulders; the oxen, great meek-eyed beasts, were munching their straw and swishing their tails as they stood in their places in the courtyard, where some little children played.
The guys had just come in from the fields, with their rough farming tools hanging over their shoulders; the oxen, big gentle-eyed animals, were munching on their straw and swishing their tails while they stood in the courtyard, where some little kids were playing.
The paddy-birds, which are small white storks, were flying about from frond to frond of the cocoanut palms that hung over the wall, and the sunset light, striking slanting up, caught the underside of their wings, and made them shine with a clear pale gold, gold birds in a darkness of green. A broken mud wall ran round one end, and the sunset colour painted it too till all the red in it glowed; and then it came softly through the palms, and touched the white head with a sort of sheen, and lit up the brow of the fine old face as, bending forward, she beckoned to us. "Come in! come in!" she said.
The paddy-birds, which are small white storks, were flying from frond to frond of the coconut palms hanging over the wall. The sunset light shone up from below, catching the underside of their wings and making them glimmer with a bright pale gold, golden birds in a sea of green. A broken mud wall surrounded one end, and the sunset colors painted it too, making all the red glow. Then the light filtered softly through the palms, touched her white hair with a sheen, and illuminated the brow of her fine old face as she leaned forward and called to us, "Come in! Come in!"
We soon made friends with her. She was a Saivite and we heard afterwards had received the Initiation; the golden symbol of her god had been branded upon her shoulder, and she was sworn to lifelong devotion to Siva; but she had found that he was vain, and she never[75] worshipped him, she worshipped God alone, "and at night, when the household is sleeping, I go up alone to an upper room, and stretch out my hands to the God of all, and cry with a long, loud cry." Then she suddenly turned and faced me full. "Tell me, is that enough?" she said. "Is it all I must do for salvation? Say!"
We quickly became friends with her. She was a Saivite, and we later learned that she had been initiated; the golden symbol of her god was branded on her shoulder, and she was committed to lifelong devotion to Siva. However, she discovered that he was vain, so she never worshipped him—instead, she worshipped God alone. "And at night, when the household is sleeping, I go up alone to an upper room, stretch out my hands to the God of all, and cry out with a long, loud cry." Then she suddenly turned to face me. "Tell me, is that enough?" she asked. "Is that all I need to do for salvation? Please, tell me!"
I did not feel she was ready for a plunge into the deep sea of full knowledge yet, and I tried to persuade her to leave that question, telling her that if she believed what we told her of Jesus our Lord, she would soon know Him well enough to ask Him direct what she wanted to know, and He Himself would explain to her all that it meant to follow Him. But she was determined to hear it then, and, as she insisted, I read her a little of what He says about it Himself. She knew quite enough to understand and take in the force of the forceful words. She would not consent to be led gently on. "No, I must know it now," she said; and as verse by verse we read to her, her face settled sorrowfully. "So far must I follow, so far?" she said. "I cannot follow so far."
I didn’t think she was ready to dive into the deep sea of full knowledge yet, so I tried to convince her to hold off on that question. I told her that if she believed what we said about Jesus our Lord, she would soon know Him well enough to ask Him directly what she wanted to know, and He would explain to her what it meant to follow Him. But she was determined to hear it right then, and as she insisted, I read her a bit of what He says about it Himself. She knew enough to understand the impact of the powerful words. She wouldn’t agree to be gently led. “No, I need to know it now,” she said, and as we read verse by verse to her, her face grew sad. “So far must I follow, so far?” she said. “I cannot follow so far.”
It was too late for much talk then, but she promised to listen if we would come and read to her. She could not read, but she seemed to know a great deal about the Bible.
It was too late for much discussion then, but she promised to listen if we came and read to her. She couldn’t read, but she seemed to know a lot about the Bible.
For some weeks one of us went once a week; sometimes the men of the house were in, and then we could not read to her, as they seemed to object; but oftener no one was about, and she had her way, and we read.
For several weeks, one of us visited once a week; sometimes the men in the house were around, and then we couldn't read to her because they seemed to mind; but more often, no one was there, and she got her way, and we read.
She told us her story one afternoon. She was the head of a famous old house; her husband had died many[76] years ago; she had brought up her children successfully, and now they were settled in life. She had a Christian relation, but she had never seen him; she thought he had a son studying in a large school in England—Cambridge, I knew, when I heard the name; the father is one of our true friends.
She shared her story with us one afternoon. She was the head of a well-known, respected household; her husband had passed away many[76] years ago; she had successfully raised her children, and now they were set in their lives. She had a Christian relative, but she had never met him; she believed he had a son studying at a prestigious school in England—Cambridge, I recognized the name; the father is one of our genuine friends.
All her sons are greatly opposed, but one of her little girls learnt for a time, and so the mother heard the Truth, and, being convinced that it was true, greatly desired to hear more.
All her sons strongly disagreed, but one of her little girls studied for a while, and that’s how the mother heard the Truth. Convinced it was real, she really wanted to learn more.
But the child was married, and went away, and she feared to ask the Missie Ammal to come again, lest people should notice it and talk. So the years passed emptily, "and oh, my heart was an empty place, a void as empty as air!" And she stretched out her arms, and clasping her hands she looked at the empty space between, and then at me with inquiring eyes, to see if I understood.
But the child was married and left, and she was afraid to invite the Missie Ammal back, worried that people would see and gossip. So the years went by aimlessly, "and oh, my heart felt like an empty space, a void as empty as air!" She reached out her arms, clasped her hands, looked at the empty space in between, and then at me with questioning eyes, hoping to see if I understood.
How well one understood!
How well they understood!
My soul is a cavern for Your sea, . . .
"I haven't done anything for You, I’m just a Want."
She had never heard it, but she had said it. We do not often hear it said, and when we do our whole heart goes out to meet the heart of the one who says it; everything that is in us yearns with a yearning that cannot be told, to bring her to Him Who said "Come."
She had never heard it, but she had said it. We don’t often hear it spoken, and when we do, our whole heart reaches out to connect with the heart of the person saying it; everything within us longs with a desire that can't be explained, to lead her to Him Who said "Come."
We were full of hope about her, and we wrote to her Christian relative, and he wrote back with joy. It seemed so likely then that she would decide for Christ.
We were filled with hope for her, and we reached out to her Christian relative, who replied with excitement. It seemed very likely at that moment that she would choose to follow Christ.
But one day, for the first time, she did not care to[77] read. I remember that day so well; it was the time of our monsoon, and the country was one great marsh. We had promised to go that morning, but the night before the rivers filled, and the pool between her and us was a lake. We called the bandyman and explained the situation. He debated a little, but at last—"Well, the bulls can swim," he said, and they swam.
But one day, for the first time, she didn’t feel like[77] reading. I remember that day so clearly; it was monsoon season and the whole area was like a huge swamp. We had planned to go that morning, but the night before the rivers overflowed, and the pool between her and us turned into a lake. We called the bandyman and explained what was going on. He thought about it for a bit, but finally said, “Well, the bulls can swim,” and they swam.
We need not have gone, she was "out." "Out," or "not at home to-day," is a phrase not confined to Society circles where courtesy counts for more than truth. "I am in, but I do not want to see you," would have been true, but rude.
We didn't really need to go; she was "out." "Out," or "not at home today," is a phrase not limited to social circles where politeness matters more than honesty. "I’m in, but I don’t want to see you," would have been true, but it would have been rude.
This was the first chill, but she was in next time, and continued to be in, until after a long talk we had, when again the question rose and had to be faced, "Can I be a Christian here?"
This was the first chill, but she came back next time and kept coming back until after a long conversation we had, when again the question came up and had to be addressed, "Can I be a Christian here?"
It was a quiet afternoon; we were alone, only the little grandchildren were with her—innocent, fearless, merry little creatures, running to her with their wants, and pulling at her hands and dress as babies do at home. Their grandmother took no notice of them beyond an occasional pat or two, but the childish things, with their bright brown eyes and little fat, soft, clinging hands went into the photo one's memory took, and helped one the better to understand and sympathise in the humanness of the pretty home scene, that humanness which is so natural, and which God meant to be. I think there is nothing in all our work which so rends and tears at the heart-strings within us, as seeing the spiritual clash with the natural, and to know that while Caste and bigotry reign it always must be so.[78]
It was a quiet afternoon; we were by ourselves, only the little grandkids were with her—innocent, fearless, happy little kids, running to her with their needs and tugging at her hands and dress like babies do at home. Their grandmother barely acknowledged them, giving an occasional pat or two, but those little ones, with their bright brown eyes and soft, chubby, clingy hands made their way into the memory a photo would capture, helping to convey the warmth of that lovely home scene, that warmth which is so natural and what God intended. I believe nothing in all our work pulls at our heartstrings as much as seeing the struggle between the spiritual and the natural, and knowing that as long as caste and prejudice exist, it will always be this way.[78]
We had a good long talk. "I want to be a Christian," she said, and for a moment I hoped great things, for she as the mistress of the house was almost free to do as she chose. I thought of her influence over her sons and their wives, and the little grandchildren; and I think my face showed the hope I had, for she said, looking very direct at me, "By a Christian I mean one who worships your God, and ceases to worship all other gods; for He alone is the Living God, the Pervader of all and Provider. This I fully believe and affirm, but I cannot break my Caste."
We had a really long conversation. "I want to be a Christian," she said, and for a moment, I felt hopeful, since she, as the head of the household, was almost free to choose her own path. I thought about her influence on her sons and their wives, and the little grandchildren; I think my expression showed my hope, because she looked straight at me and said, "By a Christian, I mean someone who worships your God and stops worshipping all other gods; because He alone is the Living God, the One who fills everything and provides for us. I truly believe and affirm this, but I cannot break my caste."
"Would you continue to keep it in all ways?"
"Will you keep it in every way?"
"How could I possibly break my Caste?"
"How could I ever break my Caste?"
"And continue to smear Siva's sign on your forehead?"
"And keep putting Siva's mark on your forehead?"
"That is indeed part of my Caste."
"That is definitely part of my caste."
More especially part of it, I knew, since she had received the Initiation.
More specifically part of it, I knew, since she had received the Initiation.
Then the disappointment got into my voice, and she felt it, and said, "Oh, do not be grieved! These things are external. How can mere ashes affect the internal, the real essential, the soul?"
Then the disappointment crept into my voice, and she noticed it, saying, "Oh, don’t be sad! These things are superficial. How can mere ashes impact what’s internal, the true essence, the soul?"
It was such a plausible argument, and we hear it over and over again; for history repeats itself, there is nothing new under the sun.
It was a convincing argument, and we hear it repeatedly; history repeats itself, and there’s nothing new under the sun.
I reminded her that ashes were sacred to Siva.
I reminded her that ashes were sacred to Shiva.
"I would not serve Siva," she answered me, "but the smearing of ashes on one's brow is the custom of my Caste, and I cannot break my Caste."
"I won't serve Siva," she replied, "but putting ashes on my forehead is the tradition of my caste, and I can't go against it."
Then she looked at me very earnestly with her searching, beautiful, keen old eyes, and she went over ground she knew I knew. She reminded me what the requirements[79] of her Caste had always been, that they must be fulfilled by all who live in the house, and she told me in measured words and slow that I knew she could not live at home if she broke the laws of her Caste. But why make so much of trifling things? For matter and spirit are distinct, and when the hands are raised in prayer, when the lamp is lighted and wreathed with flowers, the outward observer may mistake and think the action is pujah to Agni, but God who reads the heart understands, and judges the thought and not the act. "Yes, my hand may smear on Siva's ashes, while at the same moment my soul may commune with God the Eternal, Who only is God."
Then she looked at me earnestly with her searching, beautiful, sharp old eyes, and went over familiar ground. She reminded me of the requirements of her Caste that everyone living in the house had to follow, and she told me in slow, measured words that I knew she couldn’t stay at home if she broke the laws of her Caste. But why make such a big deal out of trivial matters? Matter and spirit are separate, and when hands are raised in prayer, when the lamp is lit and decorated with flowers, an outside observer might wrongly think the action is worship to Agni, but God, who knows the heart, understands and judges the thought, not the act. "Yes, my hand may touch Siva's ashes, but at the same time, my soul can connect with God the Eternal, Who is the only true God."
I turned to verse after verse to show her this sort of thing could never be, how it would mock at the love of Christ and nullify His sacrifice. I urged upon her that if she were true, and the central thought of her life were towards God, all the outworkings would correspond, creed fitting deed, and deed fitting creed without the least shade of diversity. But faith and practice are not to be confused, each is separate from the other; the two may unite or the one may be divorced from the other without the integrity of either being affected: this is the unwritten Hindu code which she and hers had ever held; and now, after years of belief in it, to face round suddenly to its opposite—this was more than she could do. She held, as it were, the Truth in her hand, and turned it round and round and round, but she always ended where she began; she would not, could not, see it as Truth, or perhaps more truly, would not accept it. It meant too much.[80]
I turned to one verse after another to show her that this kind of thing could never be, how it would mock Christ's love and undermine His sacrifice. I insisted that if she were genuine and the main focus of her life was towards God, everything would align—belief matching action, and action matching belief without any hint of inconsistency. But faith and practice shouldn’t be mixed up; each is distinct from the other; they may come together, or one may be separate from the other without affecting the integrity of either. This is the unwritten code that she and her family had always followed, and now, after years of believing it, suddenly turning to the opposite—this was more than she could handle. She held, as if it were in her hand, the Truth and turned it around and around, but she always came back to where she started; she would not, could not, see it as Truth, or maybe more accurately, wouldn’t accept it. It meant too much.[80]
There she sat, queen of her home. The sons were expected, and she had been making preparations for their coming. Her little grandchildren played about her, each one of them dear as the jewel of her eye. How could she leave it all, how could she leave them all—home, all that it stands for; children, all that they mean?
There she sat, the queen of her home. She was expecting her sons and had been getting ready for their arrival. Her little grandchildren played around her, each one as precious as the apple of her eye. How could she leave it all behind, how could she leave them all—home, everything it represents; children, everything they mean?
Then she looked at me again, and I shall never forget the look. It seemed as if she were looking me through and through, and forcing the answer to come. She spoke in little short sentences, instinct with intensity. "I cannot live here and break my Caste. If I break it I must go. I cannot live here without keeping my customs. If I break them I must go. You know all this. I ask you, then, tell me yes or no. Can I live here and keep my Caste, and at the same time follow your God? Tell me yes or no!"
Then she looked at me again, and I will never forget that look. It felt like she was seeing right through me and demanding an answer. She spoke in short, intense sentences. "I cannot live here and break my Caste. If I break it, I have to leave. I cannot stay here without following my customs. If I break them, I have to leave. You know all this. So I ask you, just tell me yes or no. Can I live here and keep my Caste while also following your God? Tell me yes or no!"
I did not tell her—how could I? But she read the answer in my eyes, and she said, as she had said before, "I cannot follow so far—so far, I cannot follow so far!"
I didn't tell her—how could I? But she saw the answer in my eyes, and she said, as she had said before, "I can't go that far—so far, I can't go that far!"
"Reverence for opinions and practice held sacred by his ancestors is ingrained in every fibre of a Hindu's character, and is, so to speak, bred in the very bone of his physical and moral constitution." So writes Sir Monier Williams. It is absolutely true.
"Respect for the beliefs and traditions cherished by his ancestors is embedded in every part of a Hindu's character and is, in a sense, part of the very essence of his physical and moral being." This is what Sir Monier Williams writes. It's completely true.
Oh, friends, is it easy work? My heart is sore as I write, with the soreness that filled it that day. I would have given anything to be able truthfully to say "yes" to her question. But "across the will of nature leads on the path of God" for them; and they have to follow so very far, so very, very far!
Oh, friends, is this work easy? My heart aches as I write, filled with the same pain I felt that day. I would have given anything to honestly say "yes" to her question. But "against the will of nature leads the path of God" for them; and they have to follow it so very far, so incredibly far!
All trees have roots. To tear up a full-grown tree by[81] the roots, and transplant it bodily, is never a simple process. But in India we have a tree with a double system of roots. The banyan tree drops roots from its boughs. These bough roots in time run as deep underground as the original root. And the tap root and its runners, and the branch roots and theirs, get knotted and knit into each other, till the whole forms one solid mass of roots, thousands of yards of a tangle of roots, sinuous and strong. Conceive the uprooting of such a tree, like the famous one of North India, for instance, which sheltered an army of seven thousand men. You cannot conceive it; it could not be done, the earthward hold is so strong.
All trees have roots. Uprooting a fully grown tree from its roots and moving it to a new location is never an easy task. But in India, we have a tree with a unique double root system. The banyan tree drops roots from its branches. Over time, these branch roots dig deep into the ground, just as the original root does. The tap root, its runners, and the branch roots intertwine and connect, forming a solid mass of roots—thousands of yards of tangled, strong roots. Imagine trying to uproot such a tree, like the famous one in North India that could shelter an army of seven thousand men. It’s unimaginable; it couldn't be done, as its grip on the earth is incredibly strong.
The old in India are like these trees; they are doubly, inextricably rooted. There is the usual great tap root common to all human trees in all lands—faith in the creed of the race; there are the usual running roots too—devotion to family and home. All these hold the soul down.
The elderly in India are like these trees; they are deeply and tightly rooted. There’s the typical taproot found in all human beings everywhere—faith in the beliefs of their culture; there are also the usual spreading roots—loyalty to family and home. All these keep the soul grounded.
But in India we have more—we have the branch-rooted system of Caste; Caste so intricate, so precise, that no Western lives who has traced it through its ramifications back to the bough from which it dropped in the olden days.
But in India we have more—we have the branch-rooted system of Caste; Caste so complex, so detailed, that no one from the West has managed to trace it through its connections back to the branch from which it originated in ancient times.
This Caste, then, these holding laws, which most would rather die than break, are like the branch roots of the banyan tree with their infinite strength of grip. But the strangest thing to us is this: the people love to have it so; they do not regard themselves as held, these roots are their pride and joy. Take a child of four or five, ask it a question concerning its Caste, and you will see how that baby tree has begun to drop branch rootlets[82] down. Sixty years afterwards look again, and every rootlet has grown a tree, each again sending rootlets down; and so the system spreads.
This caste, along with its strict laws, is like the branch roots of a banyan tree, gripping tightly with amazing strength. What’s most surprising is that the people actually like it this way; they don’t see themselves as being trapped—these roots are their source of pride and happiness. If you ask a four- or five-year-old child a question about their caste, you'll notice how that young tree has started to drop its branch rootlets[82]. Sixty years later, take another look, and every rootlet has developed into a tree, each one sending down its own rootlets, and that’s how the system expands.
But we look up from the banyan tree. God! what are these roots to Thee? These Caste-root systems are nothing to Thee! India is not too hard for Thee! O God, come!
But we look up from the banyan tree. God! what are these roots to You? These caste-root systems mean nothing to You! India isn't too difficult for You! O God, come!
CHAPTER IX
The Classes and the Masses
"We speak of work done against the force of gravitation. If the magnitude of a force can be estimated in any sense by the resistance which it has to overcome, then verily there is no land under the sun more calculated than India to display the Grand Forces of God's Omnipotent Grace. For here it has to face and overcome the combined resistances of the Caste system, entrenched heathenism, and deeply subtle philosophies. Praise God! it can and will be done. Thou, who alone doest wondrous things, work on. 'So will we sing and praise Thy power.'"
"We talk about work being done against the force of gravity. If we can gauge the strength of a force by the resistance it needs to overcome, then truly, there’s no place on Earth better than India to showcase the Grand Forces of God’s All-Powerful Grace. Here, it has to confront and conquer the combined resistances of the caste system, entrenched beliefs, and intricate philosophies. Praise God! It can and will be accomplished. You, who alone does amazing things, keep working. 'So we will sing and praise Your power.'"
In a paper read at the Student Volunteers' Conference in 1900, a South Indian missionary summed up the matter in a comprehensive sentence: "Shut in for millenniums by the gigantic wall of the Himalayas on the North, and by the impassable ocean on the South, they have lived in seclusion from the rest of the world, and have developed social institutions and conceptions of the universe, and of right and wrong, quite their own. Their own religion and traditionary customs are accepted as sufficiently meeting their needs, and they are not conscious of needing any teaching from foreigners. They will always listen courteously to what we say, and this constitutes an open door for the Gospel, but of conscious need and hungering for the Gospel there is little or none. So long as it is only a matter of preaching, there are in the world no more patient listeners than the Hindus. But as soon as a case arises of one of their number abandoning the Caste customs and traditionary worship, all their hostility is aroused, and the whole community feels it a duty of patriotism to do its utmost to deprive that individual of liberty of action, and to defend the vested rights of Hinduism."
In a paper presented at the Student Volunteers' Conference in 1900, a South Indian missionary summed it up with one clear sentence: "Cut off for thousands of years by the massive barrier of the Himalayas to the north and the unapproachable ocean to the south, they have lived in isolation from the rest of the world and developed their own social institutions and views of the universe, as well as their own ideas of right and wrong. Their own religion and traditional customs are seen as perfectly sufficient for their needs, and they don’t feel any need for teachings from outsiders. They will always listen politely to what we have to say, which creates an open door for the Gospel, but there is little to no sense of need or longing for the Gospel among them. As long as it’s just a matter of preaching, there are no more patient listeners than the Hindus. However, as soon as one of their own breaks away from the caste customs and traditional worship, all their hostility is triggered, and the entire community feels it’s their patriotic duty to do everything possible to restrict that person's freedom of choice and uphold the established rights of Hinduism."
For the true Hindu is fervently Hindu. His religion "may be described as bound up in the bundle of his everyday existence." His intense belief in it, and in his Caste, which is part of it, gives edge to the blade[85] with which he fights the entrance of a new religion to his home. This new religion he conceives of as something inherently antagonistic to his Caste, and as Caste is at every point connected with Hinduism, a thing interwoven with it, as if Hinduism were the warp and Caste the woof of the fabric of Indian life, we cannot say he is mistaken in regarding Christianity as a foe to be fought if he would continue a Caste Hindu. So far, in South Indian religious history, we have no example on a large scale of anything approaching the Bramo Samâj of the North. In the more conservative South there is almost no compromise with, and little assimilation of, the doctrine which makes all men one in Christ.
For the true Hindu, being Hindu is a deep commitment. His religion is "closely tied to the fabric of his daily life." His strong belief in it and in his Caste, which is part of that belief, sharpens the blade[85] he uses to resist the entry of a new religion into his space. He views this new religion as fundamentally hostile to his Caste, and since Caste is closely linked to Hinduism—like how Hinduism is the warp and Caste is the weft of the fabric of Indian life—it’s understandable that he sees Christianity as an enemy to fight against if he wants to remain a Caste Hindu. So far, in the history of religion in South India, there isn't a large-scale example like the Brahmo Samaj found in the North. In the more traditional South, there is very little compromise and minimal acceptance of the idea that all people are united in Christ.
To return to the division—Classes and Masses—the Classes comprise members of what are known as the higher Castes, and in speaking of towns and villages where these dwell, and of converts from among them, the prefix "Caste" is sometimes used. Among the Classes we find women of much tenderness of feeling and a culture of their own, but their minds are narrowed by the petty lives they live, lives in many instances bounded by no wider horizon than thoughts concerning their husbands and children and jewels and curries, and always their next-door neighbour's squabbles and the gossip of the place. Much of this gossip deals with matters which are not of an elevating character. It takes us years to understand it, because most of the conversation is carried on in allusion or innuendo. But it is understood by the children. One of our converts told me that she often prays for power to forget the words she heard, and the things she saw, and the games[86] she played, when she was a little child in her mother's room.
To get back to the division—Classes and Masses—the Classes include members of what are known as the higher Castes. When talking about towns and villages where they live, and about converts from among them, the prefix "Caste" is sometimes used. Among the Classes, we find women who are very sensitive and have their own culture, but their minds are limited by their small lives, which in many cases are focused solely on their husbands, children, jewelry, curries, and always the neighborhood disputes and local gossip. A lot of this gossip isn’t very uplifting. It takes us years to fully grasp it, because most of the conversation is filled with allusions or hints. But the children understand. One of our converts told me that she often prays for strength to forget the words she heard, the things she saw, and the games[86] she played when she was a little girl in her mother's room.

The young girls belonging to the higher Castes are kept in strict seclusion. During these formative years they are shut up within the courtyard walls to the dwarfing life within, and as a result they get dwarfed, and lose in resourcefulness and independence of mind, and above all in courage; and this tells terribly in our work, making it so difficult to persuade such a one to think for herself or dare to decide to believe. Such seclusion is not felt as imprisonment; a girl is trained to regard it as the proper thing, and we never find any desire among those so secluded to break bounds and rush out into the free, open air. They do not feel it cramped as we should; it is their custom.
The young girls from the higher castes are kept in strict isolation. During these formative years, they're confined within the courtyard walls, leading to a limited life, which causes them to become less capable and independent in thought, and especially less courageous. This has a serious impact on our work, making it extremely challenging to convince them to think for themselves or to feel empowered to make their own beliefs. They don't see this seclusion as a prison; instead, they're taught to view it as the norm, and we rarely see any desire among them to break free and experience the outside world. They don't feel restricted in the way we would; it’s simply their way of life.
It is this custom which makes work among girls exceedingly slow and unresultful. They have to be reached one by one, and it takes many months of teaching before the mind opens enough to understand that it may be free. The reaction of the physical upon the mental is never more clearly illustrated than in such cases. Sometimes it seems as if the mind could not go out beyond the cramping walls; but when it has, by God's illumination, received light enough to see into the darkness of the soul, and the glory that waits to shine in on it, conceive of the tremendous upheaval, the shock of finding solid ground sink, as gradually or suddenly the conviction comes upon such a one that if she acts upon this new knowledge there is no place for her at home. She must give everything up—everything!
It’s this practice that makes working with girls incredibly slow and ineffective. They need to be approached individually, and it takes many months of teaching before their minds begin to open up to the idea that they can be free. The way physical conditions affect mental states is never illustrated more clearly than in these situations. Sometimes it feels like the mind just can’t break free from its confining walls; but when, through a divine revelation, it finally gains enough insight to see the darkness within the soul and the brilliance that’s waiting to illuminate it, imagine the intense turmoil—the shock of realizing that the solid ground beneath them is crumbling, as gradually or abruptly, it dawns on them that if they act on this new understanding, there’s no place for them at home. They have to give up everything—everything!
Do you wonder that few are found willing to "follow[87] so far"? Do you wonder that our hearts nearly break sometimes, as we realize the cost for them? Do you wonder that, knowing how each is set as a target for the archer who shoots at souls, we fear to say much about them, lest we should set the targets clearer in his sight?
Do you find it strange that few are willing to "follow[87] so far"? Do you feel like our hearts nearly break sometimes when we see the cost for them? Do you think that, knowing each person is a target for the archer who aims at souls, we hesitate to talk about them too much, afraid that we might make the targets easier to hit?
The men and boys of the Classes live a more liberal life, and here you find all varying shades of refinement. There is education, too, and a great respect for learning, and reverence for their classic literature and language, a language so ancient that we find certain Tamil words in the Hebrew Scriptures, and so rich, that while "nearly all the vernaculars of India have been greatly enriched from the Sanscrit, Sanscrit has borrowed from Tamil." Almost every Caste village has its own little school, and every town has many, where the boys are taught reading, writing, poetry, and mental arithmetic.
The men and boys from the Classes lead a more open lifestyle, showcasing a range of refinement. There’s an emphasis on education and a deep respect for learning, along with a reverence for their classical literature and language, which is so ancient that we can find certain Tamil words in the Hebrew Scriptures. It’s also a language so rich that while nearly all the local languages in India have greatly benefited from Sanskrit, Sanskrit has borrowed from Tamil. Almost every Caste village has its own little school, and every town has several, where boys are taught to read, write, appreciate poetry, and do mental math.
There is not much education among the Masses. Here and there a man stands out who has fought his way through the ignorance of centuries, up into the light of the knowledge of books. Such a man is greatly respected by the whole community. The women have the same kindly nature as the women of the Classes, and there is surprising responsiveness sometimes, where one would least expect it. We have known a Tamil woman, distinctly of the Masses, never secluded in her girlhood, but left to bloom as a wild flower in the field, as sensitive in spirit as any lady born. The people are rough and rustic in their ways, but there are certain laws observed which show a spirit of refinement latent among them; there are customs which compare favourably with the customs of the masses at home. As a whole, they are like[88] the masses of other lands, with good points and bad points in strong relief, and just the same souls to be saved.
There isn’t much education among the masses. Here and there, a man stands out who has fought his way through centuries of ignorance to reach the light of knowledge found in books. This man is highly respected by the entire community. The women share the same kind nature as women from higher classes, and there are surprising moments of responsiveness sometimes where you’d least expect it. We’ve known a Tamil woman, clearly from the masses, who was never secluded as a girl but was allowed to grow freely like a wildflower in the field, just as sensitive in spirit as any lady born into privilege. The people may be rough and rustic in their ways, but there are certain rules they follow that reveal a hidden spirit of refinement among them; there are customs that compare favorably with those of the masses back home. Overall, they are like[88] the masses in other countries, with both strong points and weaknesses, and the same souls in need of saving.
Converts from among the Masses, as a general rule, are able to live at home. There is persecution, but they are not turned out of village, street, or house. Often they come in groups, two or three families together perhaps, or a whole village led by its headman comes over. There is less of the single one-by-one conversion and confession, though there is an increasing number of such, and they are the best we have.
Converts from the general population usually manage to stay at home. There is some persecution, but they aren’t expelled from their village, street, or home. Often, they come in groups—maybe two or three families together, or an entire village led by its leader. There are fewer individual conversions and confessions, although that number is growing, and those individuals are our best examples.
It is easy to understand how much more rapidly Christianity spreads under such conditions than among those prevailing among the Classes; we see it illustrated over and over again. For example, in a certain high-caste Hindu town some miles distant from our station on the Eastern side, a young man heard the Gospel preached at an open-air meeting; he believed, and confessed in baptism, thus breaking Caste and becoming an alien to his own people. He has never been able to live at home since, and so there has been no witness borne, no chance to let the life show out the love of God. The men of that household doubtless know something of the truth; they know enough, at least, to make them responsible for refusing it; but what can the women know? Only that the son of the house has disgraced his house and name; only that he has destroyed his Caste and broken his mother's heart. "Shame upon him," they cry with one voice, "and curses on the cause of the shame, the 'Way' of Jesus Christ!" It is useless to say they are merely women, and do not count; they do count. Their influence counts for a very great deal.[89] Theoretically, women in India are nothing where religion is concerned; practically, they are the heart of the Hindu religion, as the men are its sinew and brain. There has never been a convert in that town since that young man was banished from it, out-casted by his Caste.
It’s easy to see how much faster Christianity spreads in these situations compared to the conditions among the Classes; we see it over and over again. For example, in a certain high-caste Hindu town a few miles from our station on the Eastern side, a young man heard the Gospel preached at an open-air meeting; he believed and was baptized, breaking his caste and becoming an outsider to his own people. He hasn’t been able to live at home since, so there hasn’t been any witness, no opportunity to show the love of God through his life. The men in that household likely know something about the truth; they know enough to feel responsible for rejecting it; but what can the women know? Only that the son of the house has brought disgrace upon his family; only that he has destroyed his caste and broken his mother’s heart. “Shame on him,” they all cry in unison, “and curses on the source of the shame, the ‘Way’ of Jesus Christ!” It’s pointless to say they are just women and don’t matter; they do matter. Their influence is significant.[89] Theoretically, women in India have no say when it comes to religion; practically, they are the heart of Hinduism, while men are its muscle and mind. There hasn’t been a convert in that town since that young man was exiled from it, cast out by his caste.
But in a village only a few miles from that town a heathen lad believed, and was baptised, and returned home, not so welcome as before, but not considered too defiled to be reckoned a son of the household still. His father is dead, his mother is a bitter opponent, but his brother has come since, and within a stone's-throw another; and so it goes on: the life has a chance to tell. Almost every time we have gone to that village we have found some ready for baptism, and though none of the mothers have been won, they witness to the change in the life of their sons. "My boy's heart is as white as milk now," said one, who had stood by and seen that boy tied up and flogged for Christ's sake. They rarely "change their religion," these staunch old souls; "let me go where my husband is; he would have none of it!" said one, and nothing seems to move them; but they let their boys live at home, and perhaps, even yet, the love will break down their resistance. They are giving it a chance.
But in a village just a few miles from that town, a young man who didn’t believe was baptized, then returned home. He wasn’t as welcomed as before, but still not seen as too defiled to be considered part of the family. His father is dead, his mother is strongly opposed, but his brother has come since, and there’s another brother nearby; and life continues: it has a chance to unfold. Almost every time we've visited that village, we’ve found someone ready for baptism, and while none of the mothers have converted, they acknowledge the change in their sons’ lives. "My boy’s heart is as pure as milk now," said one mother, who had witnessed her son being tied up and flogged for the sake of Christ. These steadfast old souls rarely "change their religion;" one said, "let me go where my husband is; he wouldn’t accept any of it!" Nothing seems to sway them, but they allow their sons to stay at home, and perhaps, in time, love will break down their resistance. They are giving it a chance.
I think this one illustration explains more than many words would the difference between work among the Classes and the Masses, and why it is that one form of work is so much more fruitful than the other.
I believe this one example explains more than many words could about the difference between work done by the Classes and the Masses, and why one type of work is so much more productive than the other.

The Masses must not be understood as a vast casteless Mass, out-casted by the Classes, for the Caste system runs down to the very lowest stratum, but their Caste rules allow of freer intercourse with others. We may visit[90] in their houses more freely, enter more freely into their thoughts, share more freely in the interests of their lives. We are less outside, as it were. But the main difference between the one set of people and the other lies deeper; it is a difference underground. It works out, however, into something all can see. Among the Masses, "mass movements" are of common occurrence; among the Classes, with rare exceptions, each one must come out alone.
The Masses shouldn't be seen as a large group without a caste, excluded by the Classes, because the caste system extends to the very bottom level. However, their caste rules allow for more interactions with others. We can visit[90] in their homes more easily, delve into their thoughts more openly, and engage more fully in their interests. We feel less like outsiders, so to speak. But the main difference between these two groups runs deeper; it's a fundamental difference. It manifests in ways that everyone can observe. Among the Masses, "mass movements" frequently happen; among the Classes, with few exceptions, each person has to stand out on their own.
This is often forgotten by observers of the Indian Field from the home side. There are parts of that field where the labourers seem to be always binding up sheaves and singing harvest songs; and from other parts come fewer songs, for the sheaves are fewer there, or it may be there are none at all, only a few poor ears of corn, and they had to be gathered one by one, and they do not show in the field.
This is often overlooked by those watching the Indian Field from home. In some areas of the field, the workers always seem to be bundling up sheaves and singing harvest songs; while in other areas, there are fewer songs because there are fewer sheaves, or maybe there are none at all—just a few sparse ears of corn that had to be picked individually, and they’re hardly visible in the field.
CHAPTER X
The Creed Chasm
"I have had to deal in the same afternoon's work, on the one hand with men of keen powers of intellect, whose subtle reasoning made one look to the foundations of one's own faith; and on the other hand with ignorant crowds, whose conception of sin was that of a cubit measure, and to whom the terms 'faith' and 'love' were as absolutely unknown as though they had been born and bred in some undeveloped race of Anthropoids."
"I had to handle, in the same afternoon's work, on one side, people with sharp intelligence, whose clever reasoning made me question the basis of my own beliefs; and on the other side, ignorant crowds whose idea of sin was as basic as a ruler, and to whom the words 'faith' and 'love' were completely foreign, as if they had been born and raised in some primitive tribe of humanoids."
Sir Monier Williams explains the existence of this difference by describing the receptivity and all-comprehensiveness of Hinduism. "It has something to offer which is suited to all minds, its very strength lies in its infinite adaptability to the infinite diversity of human characters and human tendencies. It has its highly spiritual and abstract side, suited to the metaphysical philosopher; its practical and concrete side, suited to the man of affairs and the man of the world; its æsthetic and ceremonial side, suited to the man of poetic feeling and imagination; its quiescent and contemplative side, suited to the man of peace and lover of seclusion. Nay, it holds out the right hand of brotherhood to nature worshippers, demon worshippers, animal worshippers, tree worshippers, fetich worshippers. It does not scruple to permit the most grotesque forms of idolatry and the most degrading varieties of superstition, and it is to this latter fact that yet another remarkable peculiarity of Hinduism is mainly due—namely, that in no other System of the world is the chasm more vast which separates the religion of the higher, cultured, and thoughtful Classes, from that of the lower, uncultured, and unthinking Masses."
Sir Monier Williams explains this difference by highlighting the openness and broad scope of Hinduism. "It has something for everyone; its true strength comes from its endless ability to adapt to the vast variety of human personalities and behaviors. It has a highly spiritual and abstract side for the metaphysical philosopher; a practical and concrete side for the businessman and worldly person; an aesthetic and ceremonial side for the poetic and imaginative individual; and a quiet, contemplative side for those who seek peace and isolation. Plus, it extends a welcoming hand to nature worshippers, demon worshippers, animal worshippers, tree worshippers, and fetish worshippers. It doesn't hesitate to allow the most bizarre forms of idol worship and the most degrading kinds of superstition, and it is this latter fact that contributes to another noteworthy characteristic of Hinduism—namely, that in no other system in the world is there a more substantial divide between the religion of the higher, cultured, and thoughtful classes, and that of the lower, uncultured, and unthinking masses."
Naturally, therefore, work among them is different; one almost needs a different vocabulary for each, and certainly one needs a different set of ideas. I remember how, in one afternoon's work, we saw the two types most perfectly. In thinking of it, it is as if one saw again the quiet face of the old scholar against a background[93] of confusion, the clear calm features carved as in ivory, and set with a light upon it; chaotic darkness behind. We were visiting his wife, when he came out from the inner room, and asked if he might talk with us. Usually to such a question I say no; we have come to the women, who are far the more needy, the men can easily hear if they will. But he was such an old man, I felt I could not refuse; so he began to tell me what he held as truth, which was, in brief, that there are two sets of attachment, one outer, one inner; that deliverance from these, and from Self, the Ego, which regards itself as the doer, constitutes Holiness; that is, that one must be completely disentangled and completely self-less. This attained, the next is Bliss, which is progressive. First comes existence in the same place as God. Second, nearness to God. Third, likeness to God. Fourth, identity with God. Then he quoted from a classic beloved by all the old Tamil school, stanza after stanza, to prove the truth of the above, ending with one which Dr. Pope has thus translated—
Naturally, working with them is different; you almost need a different vocabulary for each, and definitely a different set of ideas. I remember an afternoon when we clearly saw the two types in action. It’s like seeing the calm face of the old scholar against a backdrop of confusion, his clear, tranquil features looking as if they were sculpted from ivory, lit from within, while chaotic darkness surrounded him. We were visiting his wife when he came out from the inner room and asked if he could speak with us. Normally, I would say no; we came to talk to the women, who are much more in need. The men can listen if they want to. But he was so old that I felt I couldn’t refuse; so he began to share what he believed to be true, which was, in short, that there are two types of attachment, one external and one internal; that liberation from these, and from the Self, the Ego that sees itself as the doer, is what makes one holy; meaning you must be completely untangled and completely selfless. Once that's achieved, the next step is Bliss, which happens progressively. First comes existing in the same space as God. Second, being close to God. Third, becoming like God. Fourth, merging with God. Then he quoted from a classic cherished by everyone in the old Tamil school, stanza after stanza, to support his point, concluding with one that Dr. Pope translated—
"Hold on to that connection to free yourself from everything else that clings."
The talk ended in my quoting what he could not deny was the true heart-cry of one of his greatest poets. "I know nothing! nothing! I am in darkness! Lord, is there no light for me?" And another, from the[94] poem he had quoted, which asks the question, "What is the use of knowledge, mere knowledge, if one does not draw near to the All-knowing, All-pure One?" And this led into what he would not listen to at first, a little reading from the Book of books, before whose light even these wonderful books pale as tapers in clear sunshine. The marvel of our Bible never shows more marvellous than at such times, when you see it in deed and in truth the Sword of the Spirit, and it cuts.
The conversation wrapped up with me quoting what he couldn't deny was the genuine plea of one of his greatest poets. "I know nothing! Nothing! I'm in darkness! Lord, is there no light for me?" And another line from the[94] poem he had mentioned, which asks, "What's the point of knowledge, just knowledge, if you don't get close to the All-knowing, All-pure One?" This led into something he was reluctant to hear at first—a brief reading from the Book of books, which shines so bright that even these amazing texts seem dim in comparison. The incredible nature of our Bible is never more astonishing than in moments like these when you see it truly as the Sword of the Spirit, and it cuts.
The old man asked me to come again, and I did, as the Iyer was away. He often got out of my depth, and I longed to know more; but I always found the Bible had the very word he needed, if he would only take it. So far as I know, he did not, and I left him—to quote his own words, though not spoken of himself, alas!—"bewildered by numerous thoughts, meshed in the web of delusion."
The old man asked me to come back, and I did, since the Iyer was away. He often spoke beyond my understanding, and I really wanted to learn more; but I always found that the Bible had just the right words he needed, if only he would accept it. As far as I know, he didn’t, and I left him— to borrow his own words, though they weren’t about himself, unfortunately— “bewildered by numerous thoughts, caught in the web of delusion.”
As we left our old scholar, we came upon a thing wholly foolish and brainless, animalism in force. It was the difference between the Classes and the Masses once for all painted in glare. A huge procession was tearing along the streets and roads, with all the usual uproar. They stopped when they got to a big thorn bush, and then danced round it, carrying their idols raised on platforms, and borne by two or three dozen to each. We passed, singing as hard as ever we could "Victory to Jesus' Name! Victory!" and when we got rather out of the stream, stopped, and sang most vigorously, till quite a little crowd gathered, and we had a chance to witness.
As we left our old scholar, we stumbled upon something completely ridiculous and mindless, raw animal instinct on display. It was the stark contrast between the Classes and the Masses laid out in bold relief. A massive parade was rushing through the streets and roads, creating all the usual chaos. They paused when they reached a large thorn bush and then danced around it, carrying their idols raised on platforms, each lifted by two or three dozen people. We walked by, singing as loudly as we could, "Victory to Jesus' Name! Victory!" and when we got a bit away from the crowd, we stopped and sang even more energetically, until a small crowd gathered, giving us a chance to observe.
It was dark, and the flaming torches lit up the wildest, most barbaric bit of heathenism I have seen for a long time.[95] The great black moving mass seemed like some hellish sea which had burst its bounds, and the hundreds of red-fire torches moving up and down upon it like lights in infernal fishermen's boats, luring lost souls to their doom.
It was dark, and the flaming torches illuminated the most savage, barbaric display of paganism I had seen in a long time.[95] The vast black mass looked like a hellish ocean that had broken free, with hundreds of red torches bobbing up and down on it like lights on sinister fishing boats, enticing lost souls to their destruction.
As we waited and spoke to those who would hear, a sudden rush from the centre of things warned us to go; but before we could get out of the way, a rough lad with a thorn-branch torch stuck it right into the bandy, and all but set fire to us. He ran on with a laugh, and another followed with an idol, a hideous creature, red and white, which he also pushed in upon us. Our bullocks trotted as fast as they could, and we soon got out of it all, and looking back saw the great square of the devil temple blazing with torches and firebrands, and heard the drummings and clangings and yells which announced the arrival of the procession.
As we waited and talked to anyone who would listen, a sudden rush from the center caught our attention and warned us to leave; but before we could move, a rough kid with a torch made of thorn branches jabbed it right into the crowd, nearly setting us on fire. He ran off laughing, and another guy followed with a grotesque idol, painted red and white, which he also shoved toward us. Our oxen picked up speed, and we quickly got out of there, glancing back to see the large square of the devil temple illuminated by torches and firebrands, while the sounds of drums, clangs, and shouts signaled the arrival of the procession.
All that night the riotous drumming continued, and, as one lay awake and listened, one pictured the old scholar sitting in the cool night air on his verandah, reading his ancient palm-leaf books by the light of the little lamp in the niche of his cottage wall.
All that night, the loud drumming went on, and as you lay awake and listened, you imagined the old scholar sitting in the cool night air on his porch, reading his ancient palm-leaf books by the light of the small lamp in the nook of his cottage wall.
CHAPTER XI
Caste viewed as a Doer
"It is matter for especial notice that in every department of applied science we have to deal with the unseen. All forces, whether in physics, mechanics, or electricity, are invisible."
"It’s especially noteworthy that in every field of applied science, we are working with the unseen. All forces, whether in physics, mechanics, or electricity, are invisible."
What is Caste? What is electricity? Lord Kelvin said, on the occasion of his jubilee, that he knew no more of electric and magnetic force . . . than he knew and tried to teach his students of natural philosophy fifty years ago in his first session as Professor. We know that electricity exists, we are conscious of its presence in the phenomena of light, heat, sound; but we do not know what it is.
What is Caste? What is electricity? Lord Kelvin said during his jubilee that he knew no more about electric and magnetic force now than he did when he first tried to teach his natural philosophy students fifty years ago as a professor. We know electricity exists, and we experience it through light, heat, and sound, but we still don’t know what it actually is.
Nothing could more perfectly illustrate Caste. You cannot live long in a conservative part of India, in close contact with its people, without being conscious of its presence; if you come into conflict with it, it manifests[97] itself in a flash of opposition, hot rage of persecution, the roar of the tumult of the crowd. But try to define it, and you find you cannot do it. It is not merely birth, class, a code of rules, though it includes all these. It is a force, an energy; there is spirit in it, essence, hidden as the invisible essence which we call electricity.
Nothing could illustrate Caste more perfectly. You can't spend much time in a conservative part of India, deeply engaging with its people, without feeling its presence; if you clash with it, it shows up in an instant with a wave of opposition, intense anger, or the uproar of the crowd. But when you attempt to define it, you realize you can't. It's not just about birth or class, or a set of rules, though it includes all of those. It's a force, an energy; there's a spirit to it, an essence, as hidden as the invisible energy we call electricity.
Look at what it does. A few months ago a boy of twelve resolved to be a Christian. His clan, eight thousand strong, were enraged. There was a riot in the streets; in one house the poison cup was ready. Better death than loss of Caste.
Look at what it does. A few months ago, a twelve-year-old boy decided to become a Christian. His clan, eight thousand strong, was furious. There was chaos in the streets; in one house, the poison cup was prepared. Better to die than lose his caste.
In another town a boy took his stand, and was baptised, thus crossing the line that divides secret belief from open confession. His Caste men got hold of him afterwards; next time he was seen he was a raving lunatic. The Caste was avenged.
In another town, a boy stood up and was baptized, crossing the line between secret belief and open confession. His caste members caught him afterward; the next time he was seen, he was a raving lunatic. The caste got their revenge.
It may be someone will wonder if these things are confined to one part of the field, so I quote from another, working in a neighbouring field, Tamil, but not "ours."
It’s possible that someone might wonder if these matters are limited to just one area of study, so I’ll reference another, from a related field, Tamil, even though it’s not “ours.”
She tells of a poor low-caste woman who learned in her home, and believed. Her husband also believed, and both thought of becoming Christians. The village soothsayer warned them that their father's god would be angry; they did not heed him, but went on, and suddenly their baby died. This was too much for their faith then, and they both went back to idolatry.
She talks about a poor woman from a low caste who learned about faith in her home and believed. Her husband also believed, and they both considered becoming Christians. The village fortune teller warned them that their family's god would be angry; they didn’t listen to him, but continued on their path, and suddenly their baby died. This was too much for their faith, and they both returned to their old idols.
A few years afterwards their eldest child began to learn to read, and the mother's faith revived. The soothsayer and her husband reminded her of the infant's fate, but she was brave, and let her child learn. Then her cow suddenly died. "Did we not tell you so?" they[98] said, and for the moment she was staggered; but she rallied, and only became more earnest in faith. So the soothsayer threatened worse.
A few years later, their eldest child started learning to read, and the mother's faith came back. The fortune teller and her husband reminded her of the baby's fate, but she was strong and let her child learn. Then her cow suddenly died. "Didn't we tell you this would happen?" they said, and for a moment she was shaken; but she gathered herself and became even more determined in her faith. So the fortune teller threatened her with worse things to come.

Then a Caste meeting was called to determine what could be done with this woman. The husband attended the meeting, and was treated to some rice and curry; before he reached home he was taken violently ill, and in three days he died. The relatives denounced the woman as the cause of her husband's death, took her only son from her, and entreated her to return to her father's gods before they should all be annihilated. They gave her "two weeks to fast and mourn for her husband, then finding her mind as firmly fixed on Christ as before, they sent her to Burmah."
Then a Caste meeting was called to figure out what to do about this woman. Her husband attended the meeting and was given some rice and curry; before he got home, he became seriously ill and died three days later. The family blamed the woman for her husband's death, took away her only son, and urged her to return to her father's gods before they all faced destruction. They allowed her "two weeks to fast and mourn for her husband, but when they found her mind was just as set on Christ as before, they sent her to Burmah."
This happened recently. It is told without any effort to appeal to the sympathies of anyone, simply as a fact; a witness, every line of it, to the power of Caste as a Doer. But there is something in the tale, told so terribly quietly, that makes one's heart burn with indignation at the unrelenting cruelty which would hound a poor woman down, and send her, bereft of all she loved, into exile, such as a foreign land would be to one who knew only her own little village. And when you remember the Caste was "low," which they took such infinite pains to guard, you can judge, perhaps, what the hate would be, the concentration of scorn and hate, if the Caste were higher or high.
This happened recently. It’s shared without any attempt to win anyone over, just as a fact; a testament, in every line, to the power of caste as an enforcer. But there’s something in the story, told so chillingly quietly, that makes your heart ache with anger at the relentless cruelty that would chase a poor woman down and force her, stripped of everything she loved, into exile, which would feel foreign to someone who only knew her small village. And when you remember the caste was considered “low,” which they worked so hard to protect, you can imagine, perhaps, the intensity of scorn and hatred if the caste were higher.
But look at Caste in another way, in its power in the commonplace phases of life. For example, take a kitchen and cooking, and see how Caste rules there. For cooking is not vulgar work, or infra dig. in any sense, in India;[99] all Caste women in good orthodox Hindu families either do their own or superintend the doing of it by younger members of the same family or servants of the same Caste. "We Europeans cannot understand the extent to which culinary operations may be associated with religion. The kitchen in every Indian household is a kind of sanctuary or holy ground. . . . The mere glance of a man of inferior Caste makes the greatest delicacies uneatable, and if such a glance happens to fall on the family supplies during the cooking operations, when the ceremonial purity of the water used is a matter of almost life and death to every member of the household, the whole repast has to be thrown away as if poisoned. The family is for that day dinnerless. Food thus contaminated would, if eaten, communicate a taint to the souls as well as bodies of the eaters, a taint which could only be removed by long and painful expiation." Thus far Sir Monier Williams (quoted as a greater authority than any mere missionary!). Think of the defilement which would be contracted if a member of the household who had broken Caste in baptism took any part in the cooking. It would never be allowed. Such a woman could take no share in the family life. Her presence, her shadow, above all her touch, would be simply pollution. Therefore, and for many other reasons, her life at home is impossible, and the Hindu, without arguing about it, regards it as impossible. It does not enter into the scheme of life as laid down by the rules of his Caste. He never, if he is orthodox, contemplates it for a moment as a thing to be even desired.
But look at caste from a different perspective, focusing on its influence in everyday life. For instance, consider a kitchen and cooking to see how caste plays a role there. In India, cooking is neither considered lowly work nor beneath anyone. All women from well-respected Hindu families either cook for themselves or supervise younger family members or servants from the same caste.[99] "We Europeans cannot grasp how deeply culinary activities are tied to religion. The kitchen in every Indian home is like a sanctuary or sacred space... The mere glance of someone from a lower caste can make even the finest dishes unfit for consumption, and if such a glance happens to fall on the family's food during cooking—when maintaining the ceremonial purity of the water used is almost a matter of life and death for everyone in the household—the entire meal must be discarded as if it were contaminated. The family ends up without dinner for that day. Food that has been tainted in this way, if eaten, would corrupt not just the bodies but the souls of those who consume it, and this corruption can only be cleansed through long and difficult atonement." So said Sir Monier Williams (quoted as a more credible source than any mere missionary!). Imagine the pollution that would occur if a household member who had broken caste through baptism participated in cooking. That would never be tolerated. Such a woman would not be allowed to partake in family life. Her mere presence, her shadow, especially her touch, would be seen as pure pollution. For this reason, and many others, her life at home is deemed impossible, and the orthodox Hindu accepts this without debate. It doesn't fit into the life framework outlined by his caste. He never considers it, even for a moment, as something to be desired.
Cooking and kitchen work may seem small (though it would not be easy for even the greatest to live without[100] reference to it), so let us look out on the world of trade, and see Caste again as a Doer there. If a merchant becomes a Christian, no one will buy his goods; if he is a weaver, no one will buy his cloth; if he is a dyer, no one will buy his thread; if he is a jeweller, no one will employ him. If it is remembered that every particular occupation in life represents a particular Caste, it will be easily understood how matters are complicated where converts from the great Trades Unions are concerned. Hence the need of Industrial Missions, and the fact that they exist.
Cooking and kitchen work may seem minor (though it wouldn't be easy for even the greatest to live without[100] reference to it), so let's take a look at the world of trade, and see Caste again as a Doer there. If a merchant becomes a Christian, no one will buy his goods; if he’s a weaver, no one will buy his cloth; if he’s a dyer, no one will buy his thread; if he’s a jeweler, no one will hire him. If we remember that each specific occupation in life represents a specific Caste, it will be easy to understand how complicated things get when it comes to converts from the major Trades Unions. Hence the need for Industrial Missions, and the fact that they exist.
A man wants to become a Christian, say, from the blacksmith or carpenter Caste. As a Christian he loses his trade, and he has been trained to no other. His forefathers worked in iron or wood, and he cannot attempt to learn other work. Let the Christians employ him, you say. Some do; but the question involves other questions far too involved for discussion here. And even if we discussed it, we should probably end where we began—facing a practical problem which no one can hope to solve while Caste is what it is.
A man wants to become a Christian, say, from the blacksmith or carpenter caste. As a Christian, he loses his trade, and he hasn’t been trained for anything else. His ancestors worked with iron or wood, and he can’t try to learn a different job. You might say, let the Christians hire him. Some do, but the question leads to other issues that are too complicated to get into here. And even if we talked about it, we’d probably end up right where we started—confronting a practical problem that no one can realistically solve while the caste system remains unchanged.
Just now this system is in full operation in the case of a lad of the brassworker Caste. He is a thoughtful boy, and he has come to the conclusion that Christianity is the true religion; he would like to be a Christian; if the conditions were a little easier he would be enrolled as an inquirer to-morrow. But here is the difficulty. His father is not strong, his mother and little sisters and brothers are his care; if he were a Christian he could not support them; no one would sell him brass, no one would buy the vessels he makes. He knows only his[101] inherited trade. He can make fine water-pots, lamps, vases, and vessels of all sorts, nothing else. He is too old to learn any other trade; but supposing such an arrangement could be made, who would support the family in the meantime? Perhaps we might do it; we certainly could not let them starve; but it would not do to tell him so, or to hold out hopes of earthly help, till we know beyond a doubt that he is true. This is what is holding him back. He reads over and over again, "He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me," and then he looks at his father and mother and the little children; and he reads the verse again, and he looks at them again. It is too hard.
Right now, this system is fully operational for a boy from the brassworker caste. He’s a thoughtful kid and has come to believe that Christianity is the true religion; he wants to become a Christian. If the situation were a bit easier, he would sign up to be an inquirer tomorrow. But there’s the problem. His father is not strong, and he needs to take care of his mother and little siblings; if he became a Christian, he wouldn’t be able to support them. No one would sell him brass and no one would buy the vessels he makes. He only knows his inherited trade. He can make fine water pots, lamps, vases, and all kinds of vessels, but nothing else. He’s too old to learn a new trade; but even if there could be a plan for that, who would take care of the family in the meantime? Maybe we could help; we certainly wouldn't let them starve, but it wouldn’t be right to tell him that or give him false hope for help until we are absolutely sure he is sincere. That’s what’s holding him back. He keeps reading, “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me,” and then he looks at his parents and the little ones; he reads the verse again and looks at them again. It’s too hard.
It is easy enough to tell him that God would take care of them if he obeys. We do tell him so, but can we wonder at the boy for hesitating to take a step which will, so far as he can see, take house and food and all they need from his mother and those little children?
It’s simple to say that God will take care of them if he listens. We say that, but can we blame the boy for hesitating to make a choice that, as far as he can see, would take away his home, food, and everything his mother and those little kids need?
These are some of the things which make work in India what is simply called difficult. We do not want to exaggerate. We know all lands have their difficulties, but when being a Christian means all this, over and above what it means elsewhere, then the bonds which bind souls are visibly strengthened, and the work can never be described as other than very difficult.
These are some of the factors that make working in India what is simply described as difficult. We don't want to exaggerate. We know every country has its challenges, but when being a Christian involves all this, in addition to what it means in other places, then the connections that bring people together are clearly deepened, and the work can only be characterized as really tough.
Or take the power of Caste in another direction—its callous cruelty. I give one illustration from last year's life.
Or take the power of Caste in another direction—its ruthless cruelty. I’ll share one example from last year's events.
I was visiting in the house where the old lady lives upon whom the afflatus fell. The first time we went there we saw a little lad of three or four, who seemed to be suffering with his eyes. He lay in a swinging bag[102] hung from the roof, and cried piteously all the time we were there. Now, two months afterwards, there he lay crying still, only his cries were so weary he had hardly strength to cry.
I was visiting the house where the old lady lives who received the inspiration. The first time we went there, we saw a little boy around three or four, who seemed to be in pain with his eyes. He was lying in a swinging bag hung from the ceiling and cried pitifully the entire time we were there. Now, two months later, there he was still crying, but his cries were so weak that he hardly had the strength to make a sound.
They lifted him out. I should not have known the child—the pretty face drawn and full of pain, the little hands pressed over the burning eyes. Only one who has had it knows the agony of ophthalmia. They told me he had not slept, "not even the measure of a rape-seed," for three months. Night and day he cried and cried; "but he does not make much noise now," they added. He couldn't, poor little lad!
They lifted him out. I wouldn’t have recognized the child—the once pretty face twisted with pain, his little hands pressed over his burning eyes. Only someone who has experienced it knows the agony of ophthalmia. They told me he hadn’t slept, "not even the amount of a raindrop," for three months. Night and day he cried and cried; "but he doesn’t make much noise anymore," they added. He couldn’t, poor little guy!
I begged them to take him to the hospital, twenty-five miles away, but they said to go to a hospital was against their Caste. The child lay moaning so pitifully it wrung my heart, and I pleaded and pleaded with them to let me take him if they would not. Even if his sight could not be saved, something could be done to ease the pain, I knew. But no, he might die away from home, and that would disgrace their Caste.
I begged them to take him to the hospital, twenty-five miles away, but they said going to a hospital was against their caste. The child lay moaning so painfully it broke my heart, and I kept pleading with them to let me take him if they wouldn’t. Even if they couldn’t save his sight, I knew they could at least do something to ease his pain. But no, he might die away from home, and that would bring shame to their caste.
"Then he is to suffer till he is blind or dead?" and I felt half wild with the cold cruelty of it.
"Then he's supposed to suffer until he's blind or dead?" I felt half out of my mind with the coldness of it.
"What can we do?" they asked; "can we destroy our Caste?"
"What can we do?" they asked; "can we get rid of our Caste?"
Oh, I did blaze out for a moment! I really could not help it. And then I knelt down among them all, just broken with the pity of it, and prayed with all my heart and soul that the Good Shepherd would come and gather the lamb in His arms!
Oh, I really lost it for a moment! I couldn’t help it. Then I knelt down among them all, feeling completely overwhelmed with pity, and prayed with all my heart and soul that the Good Shepherd would come and gather the lamb in His arms!
I wonder if you can bear to read it? I can hardly bear to write it. But you have not seen the little wasted[103] hands pressed over the eyes, and then falling helplessly, too tired to hold up any longer; and you have not heard those weak little wails—and to think it need not have been!
I wonder if you can stand to read this? I can barely bring myself to write it. But you haven't seen the tiny, frail[103] hands covering the eyes, only to drop down helplessly, too exhausted to stay upright; and you haven’t heard those faint little cries—and to think it didn’t have to be this way!
But we could do nothing. We were leaving the place next day, and even if we could have helped him, they would not have let us. They had their own doctor, they said; the case was in his hands. As we came away they explained that one of the boy's distant relatives had died two years ago, and that this was what prevented any of them leaving the house, as some obscure Caste rule would be broken if they did; otherwise, perhaps they might have been able to take him somewhere for change of treatment. So there that child must lie in his pain, one more little living sacrifice on the altar of Caste.
But we couldn’t do anything. We were leaving the place the next day, and even if we could have helped him, they wouldn’t have let us. They had their own doctor, they said; the case was in his hands. As we walked away, they explained that one of the boy’s distant relatives had died two years ago, and that this was what kept any of them from leaving the house, as some obscure Caste rule would be broken if they did; otherwise, maybe they might have been able to take him somewhere for different treatment. So there that child had to lie in his pain, one more little living sacrifice on the altar of Caste.

The last thing I heard them say as we left the house was, "Cry softly, or we'll put more medicine in!" And the last thing I saw was the tightening of the little hands over the poor shut eyes, as he tried to stifle his sobs and "cry softly." This told one what the "medicine" meant to him. One of the things they had put in was raw pepper mixed with alum.
The last thing I heard them say as we left the house was, "Cry softly, or we'll give you more medicine!" And the last thing I saw was the little hands tightening over the poor shut eyes, as he tried to hold back his sobs and "cry softly." This showed what the "medicine" meant to him. One of the things they had mixed in was raw pepper with alum.
Is not Caste a cruel thing? Those women were not heartless, but they would rather see that baby die in torture by inches, than dim with one breath the lustre of their brazen escutcheon of Caste!
Isn’t Caste a cruel thing? Those women weren’t heartless, but they would rather see that baby suffer and die slowly than tarnish the shine of their proud status of Caste with even a single breath!
This is one glimpse of one phase of a power which is only a name at home. It is its weakest phase; for the hold of Caste upon the body is as nothing to the hold it has upon the mind and soul. It yields to the touch of pain sometimes, as our medical missionaries know; but it[104] tightens again too often when the need for relief is past. It is unspeakably strong, unmercifully cruel, and yet it would seem as though the very blood of the people ran red with it. It is in them, part of their very being.
This is a glimpse of one aspect of a power that is just a name back home. This is its weakest aspect; the grip of Caste on the body is nothing compared to its grip on the mind and soul. It sometimes gives way to pain, as our medical missionaries know; but it[104] tightens up again too often once the need for relief is gone. It is unimaginably strong, mercilessly cruel, and yet it seems like the very blood of the people is infused with it. It is within them, part of their very essence.
This, then, is Caste viewed as a Doer. It does strange things, hard things, things most cruel. It is, all who fight it are agreed, the strongest foe to the Gospel of Christ on the Hindu fields of South India.
This is Caste seen as an Act. It does strange things, tough things, and things that are often cruel. Everyone who opposes it agrees that it's the biggest enemy of the Gospel of Christ in the Hindu areas of South India.
CHAPTER XII
Petra
"This work in India . . . is one of the most crucial tests the Church of Christ has ever been put to. The people you think to measure your forces against are such as the giant races of Canaan are nothing to."
"This work in India... is one of the most significant challenges the Church of Christ has ever faced. The people you think you can measure your strength against are nothing compared to the giant races of Canaan."
She was a dear old friend of mine, the only real friend I have in that ancient Hindu town. Her house is always open to us, the upper room always empty—or said to be so—when we are needing a rest. But she is a Hindu of the Hindus, and though so enlightened that for love's sake she touches us freely, taking our hands in hers, and even kissing us, after we go there is a general purification; every scrap of clothing worn while we were in the house is carefully washed before sunset.
She was a dear old friend of mine, the only real friend I have in that ancient Hindu town. Her house is always open to us, and the upper room is always empty—or so we're told—when we need a rest. But she is a true Hindu, and although she is so enlightened that for love's sake she touches us freely, taking our hands in hers and even kissing us, once we leave there is a thorough purification; every piece of clothing we wore while we were in the house is carefully washed before sunset.
She insisted now upon feeding us, called for plantains and sugar, broke up the plantains, dabbed the pulp in the sugar, and commanded us to eat. Then she sat down satisfied, and was photographed.
She now insisted on feeding us, asked for plantains and sugar, broke up the plantains, dipped the pulp in the sugar, and told us to eat. Then she sat down, pleased, and was photographed.
This town, a little ancient Hindu town, is two hours journey from Dohnavur. There are thirty-eight stone temples and shrines in and around it, and five hundred[106] altars. No one has counted the number of idols; there are two hundred under a single tree near one of the smaller shrines. Each of the larger temples has its attendant temple-women; there are two hundred recognised Servants of the gods, and two hundred annual festivals.
This town, a small ancient Hindu town, is a two-hour journey from Dohnavur. There are thirty-eight stone temples and shrines in and around it, and five hundred[106] altars. No one has counted the number of idols; there are two hundred under a single tree near one of the smaller shrines. Each of the larger temples has its own temple women; there are two hundred recognized Servants of the gods, and two hundred annual festivals.
Wonderful sums are being worked just now concerning the progress of Christianity in India. A favourite sum is stated thus: the number of Christians has increased during the last decade at a certain ratio. Given the continuance of this uniform rate of increase, it will follow that within a computable period India will be a Christian land. One flaw in this method of calculation is that it takes for granted that Brahmans, high-caste Hindus, and Mohammedans will be Christianised at the same rate of progress as prevails at present among the depressed classes.
Wonderful calculations are being made right now about the growth of Christianity in India. A common calculation goes like this: the number of Christians has increased over the last ten years at a specific rate. If this steady rate of growth continues, it will follow that in a measurable amount of time, India will become a Christian country. One flaw in this method is that it assumes that Brahmins, high-caste Hindus, and Muslims will be converted at the same rate as is currently seen among the lower classes.
There are sums less frequently stated. Here in the heart of this Hindu town they come with force; one such sum worked out carefully shows that, according to the present rate of advance, it will be more than twenty thousand years before the Hindu towns of this district are even nominally Christian. Another still more startling gives us this result: according to the laws which govern statistics, thirteen hundred thousand years must pass before the Brahmans in this one South Indian district are Christianised. And if the sum is worked so as to cover all India, the result is quite as staggering to faith based on statistics.
There are calculations that aren’t mentioned often. Right here in the heart of this Hindu town, they hit hard; one such calculation worked out carefully indicates that, based on the current rate of progress, it will take over twenty thousand years before the Hindu towns in this district are even nominally Christian. An even more shocking calculation shows this result: according to the principles that govern statistics, it will take thirteen hundred thousand years for the Brahmans in this one South Indian district to become Christian. And if the calculation is expanded to cover all of India, the outcome is just as astonishing for faith grounded in statistics.
Praise God, this is not His arithmetic! It is a purely human invention. We believe in the Holy Ghost, the Lord and Giver of Life; we believe in God, even God Who calleth the things that are not as though they[107] were: therefore these sums prove nothing. But if such sums are worked at all, they ought to be worked on both sides, and not only on the side which yields the most encouraging results.
Praise God, this isn’t His math! It’s just a human creation. We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and Giver of Life; we believe in God, even God Who calls things that aren’t as if they[107] were: so these calculations prove nothing. However, if these calculations are done at all, they should be done on both sides, not just on the side that shows the most positive outcomes.
Two of us spent a morning in the Brahman street. In these old Hindu towns the Brahman street is built round the temple, and in large towns this street is a thoroughfare, and we are allowed in. The women stood in the shadow of the cool little dark verandahs, and we stood out in the sun and tried to make friends with them. Then some Mission College boys saw us and felt ashamed that we should stand in that blazing heat, and they offered us a verandah; but the women instantly cleared off, and the men came, and the boys besought us under their breath to say nothing about our religion.
Two of us spent a morning on Brahman Street. In these old Hindu towns, Brahman Street is built around the temple, and in larger towns, this street is a main road that we can walk on. The women stood in the shade of the cool, dark verandahs, while we stood out in the sun, trying to make friends with them. Then some boys from the Mission College saw us and felt embarrassed that we were standing in that blazing heat, so they offered us a verandah; but the women immediately left, and the men came in instead. The boys whispered to us to keep our religion to ourselves.
We spoke for a few minutes, throwing our whole soul into the chance. We felt that our words were as feathers floating against rocks; but we witnessed, and they listened till, as one of them remarked, it was time to go for their noontide bathe, and we knew they wished us to go. We went then, and found a wall at the head of the Brahman street, and we stood in its shadow and tried again. Crowds of men and lads gathered about us, but our College boys stood by our side and helped to quiet them. "Now you see," they said to us, as they walked with us down the outer street, "how quite impossible for us is Christianity."
We talked for a few minutes, pouring our hearts into the moment. We felt like our words were just feathers hitting against rocks; but we witnessed them listening until, as one of them pointed out, it was time for their midday bath, and we understood they wanted us to leave. So we left and found a wall at the end of Brahman Street, and we stood in its shade and tried again. A crowd of men and boys gathered around us, but our college friends stayed by our side and helped keep them calm. "Now you can see," they said to us as we walked down the side street, "how utterly impossible Christianity is for us."
It is good sometimes to take time to take in the might of the foe we fight. That evening two of us had a quiet few minutes under the temple walls. Those great walls, reaching so high above us, stretching so far[108] beyond us, seemed a type of the wall Satan has built round these souls.
It’s helpful to pause sometimes and consider the strength of the enemy we’re facing. That evening, two of us shared a few quiet moments beneath the temple walls. Those massive walls, towering high above us and extending far beyond our view[108], felt like a representation of the barrier that Satan has constructed around these souls.
We could touch this visible wall, press against it, feel its solid strength. Run hard against it, and you would be hurt, you might fall back bleeding; it would not have yielded one inch.
We could touch this visible wall, push against it, feel its strong solidity. If you ran hard into it, you would get hurt, you might fall back bleeding; it wouldn’t give at all.
And the other invisible wall? Oh, we can touch it too! Spirit-touch is a real thing. And so is spirit-pain. But the wall, it still stands strong.
And the other invisible wall? Oh, we can touch it too! Spirit-touch is a real thing. And so is spirit-pain. But the wall still stands strong.
It was moonlight. We had walked all round the great temple square, down the silent Brahman streets, and we had stood in the pillared hall, and looked across to the open door, and seen the light on the shrine.
It was moonlight. We had walked all around the great temple square, down the quiet Brahman streets, and we had stood in the pillared hall, looking across to the open door and seeing the light on the shrine.
Now we were out in God's clean light, looking up at the mass of the tower, as it rose pitch-black against the sky. And we felt how small we were.
Now we were out in God's bright light, looking up at the massive tower, which stood stark black against the sky. And we realized how small we were.
Then the influences of the place began to take hold of us. It was not only masonry; it was mystery. "The Sovereigns of this present Darkness" were there.
Then the atmosphere of the place started to affect us. It wasn’t just the buildings; it was something deeper. "The Rulers of this present Darkness" were present.
How futile all of earth seemed then, against those tremendous forces and powers. What toy-swords seemed all weapons of the flesh. Praise God for the Holy Ghost!
How pointless everything on earth felt back then, compared to those immense forces and powers. All weapons of the flesh seemed like toy swords. Thank God for the Holy Spirit!
While we were sitting there a Brahman came to see what we were doing, and we told him some of our thoughts. He asked us then if we would care to hear his. We told him, gladly. He pointed up to the temple tower. "That is my first step to God." We listened, and he unfolded, thought by thought, that strange old Védic philosophy, which holds that God, being omnipresent, reveals Himself in various ways, in visible forms in incarnations, or in spirit. The visible-form method[109] of revelation is the lowest; it is only, as it were, the first of a series of steps which lead up to the highest, intelligent adoration of and absorption into the One Supreme Spirit. "We are only little children yet. We take this small first step, it crumbles beneath us as we rise to the next, and so step by step we rise from the visible to the invisible, from matter to spirit—to God. But," he added courteously, "as my faith is good for me, so, doubtless, you find yours for you."
While we were sitting there, a Brahman came to see what we were up to, and we shared some of our thoughts with him. He then asked us if we would like to hear his. We answered, gladly. He pointed up to the temple tower. "That is my first step to God." We listened as he explained, thought by thought, that unique old Védic philosophy, which states that God, being everywhere, reveals Himself in different ways, through visible forms in incarnations, or in spirit. The visible-form method[109] of revelation is the lowest; it's basically the first of a series of steps that lead to the highest, intelligent adoration of and immersion in the One Supreme Spirit. "We are still just little children. We take this small first step, it crumbles beneath us as we move to the next, and so step by step we go from the visible to the invisible, from matter to spirit—to God. But," he added politely, "just as my faith works for me, I’m sure you find yours works for you."
Next morning we went down to the river and had talks with the people who passed on their way to the town. It was all so pretty in the early morning light. Men were washing their bullocks, and children were scampering in and out of the water. Farther downstream the women were bathing their babies and polishing their brass water-vessels. Trees met overhead, but the light broke through in places and made yellow patches on the water. Out in one of those reaches of yellow a girl stood bending to fill her vessel; she wore the common crimson of the South, but the light struck it, and struck the shining brass as she swung it up under her arm, and made her into a picture as she stood in her clinging wet red things against the brown and green of water and wood. Everywhere we looked there was something beautiful to look at, and all about us was the sound of voices and laughter, and the musical splashing of water; then, as we enjoyed it all, we saw this:
The next morning, we went down to the river and chatted with the people passing by on their way to town. Everything looked so beautiful in the early morning light. Men were washing their bulls, and children were playing in and out of the water. Further downstream, women were bathing their babies and shining their brass water vessels. The trees arched overhead, but the light broke through in spots, creating yellow patches on the water. In one of those sunny spots, a girl was bending to fill her vessel; she wore the typical red of the South, but the light caught it, along with the shining brass as she lifted it under her arm, making her look like a picture against the brown and green of the water and trees. Everywhere we looked, there was something beautiful to see, and around us, we could hear voices and laughter, along with the musical splashing of water; then, as we soaked it all in, we noticed this:
Under an ancient tree fifteen men were walking slowly round and round, following the course of the sun. Under the tree there were numbers of idols, and[110] piles of oleander and jessamin wreaths, brought fresh that morning. The men were elderly, fine-looking men; they were wholly engrossed in what they were doing. It was no foolish farce to them; it was reality.
Under an ancient tree, fifteen men were walking slowly in circles, following the path of the sun. Beneath the tree, there were several idols and piles of oleander and jasmine wreaths, brought fresh that morning. The men were older, distinguished-looking men; they were completely focused on what they were doing. It wasn't a silly joke to them; it was real.
There is something in the sight of this ordinary, evident dethronement of our God which stirs one to one's inmost soul. We could not look at it.
There’s something about witnessing this clear, common dethronement of our God that deeply moves us. We couldn’t bear to see it.
Again and again we have gone to that town, but to-day those men go round that tree, and to-day that town is a fort unwon.
Again and again we've gone to that town, but today those men walk around that tree, and today that town remains an unclaimed fort.
Petra, I have called it; the word stands for many a town walled in as that one is. In Keith's Evidence of Prophecy there is a map of Petra, the old strong city of Edom, and in studying it a light fell upon David's question concerning it, and his own triumphant answer, "Who will lead me into the strong city? Who will bring me into Edom? Wilt not Thou, O God?" for the map shows the mountains all round except at the East, where they break into a single narrow passage, the one way in. There was only one way in, but there was that one way in!
Petra, I’ve named it; the word refers to many towns that are walled like this one. In Keith's Evidence of Prophecy, there’s a map of Petra, the ancient stronghold of Edom, and while studying it, I had an epiphany regarding David's question about it and his own triumphant answer: "Who will lead me into the strong city? Who will bring me into Edom? Will You not, O God?" The map shows the mountains surrounding it except to the east, where there’s a narrow pass, the only entrance. There was only one way in, but there was that one way in!
Here is a town walled up to heaven by walls of Caste and bigotry, but there must be one way in. Here is a soul walled all round by utter indifference and pride, but there must be one way in.
Here is a town surrounded by walls of caste and prejudice, but there has to be one way in. Here is a soul completely enclosed by total indifference and pride, but there has to be one way in.
"Who will lead me into the strong city? Who will bring me into Edom? Wilt not Thou, O God?"
"Who will take me into the fortified city? Who will lead me into Edom? Won't You, O God?"
CHAPTER XIII
Death by Disuse
"There is a strong tendency to look upon the Atonement of Christ as possessing some quality by virtue of which God can excuse and overlook sin in the Christian, a readiness to look upon sinning as the inevitable accompaniment of human nature 'until death do us part,' and to look upon Christianity as a substitute for rather than a cause of personal holiness of life."
"There is a strong tendency to view Christ's Atonement as having a quality that allows God to forgive and overlook sin in Christians, an inclination to see sinning as an unavoidable part of human nature 'until death do us part,' and to regard Christianity as a replacement for, rather than a source of, personal holiness in life."
"From many things I have heard I fancy many at home think of the mission as a sort of little heaven upon earth, but when one looks under the surface there is much to sadden one. . . . Oh, friends, much prayer is needed! Many of the agents know apparently nothing about conversion.
"From many things I've heard, I imagine many back home think of the mission as a sort of little heaven on earth, but when you look deeper, there’s a lot that’s disheartening. Oh, friends, we really need more prayer! Many of the agents seem to know nothing about conversion."
"You may not like my writing so plainly, but sometimes it seems as if only the bright side were given, and one feels that if God's praying people at home understood things more as they really are . . . more prayer for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on our agents and converts would ascend to God. . . . We do long to see all our pastors and agents really converted men, men of prayer and faith, who, knowing that they themselves are saved, long with a great longing to see the heathen round them brought out of darkness into His light, and the Christians who form their congregations, earnest converted men and women."
"You might not appreciate my writing so directly, but sometimes it feels like only the positive side is shown, and it makes you think that if God's praying people at home truly understood things as they really are... more prayers for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on our agents and converts would reach God... We really want to see all our pastors and agents as genuinely converted individuals, people of prayer and faith, who, knowing they are saved, deeply desire to see the lost around them brought out of darkness into His light, and the Christians in their congregations, sincere converted men and women."
"Fifty added to the Church sounds fine at home, but if only five of them are genuine what will it profit in the Great Day?"
"Having fifty people in the Church sounds good at home, but if only five of them are sincere, what benefit will that be on the Great Day?"
"Oh for the Fire to set the whole alight, and melt us all into one mighty Holy-Ghost Church!"
"Oh, for the fire to ignite everything and merge us all into one powerful Holy Ghost Church!"

The first of the Christians to welcome us was a bright-looking widow—this is her photograph. We soon made friends. She told us she had been "born in the Way"; her grandfather joined it, and none of the family had gone back, so she was sure that all was right. We were not so sure, and we tried to find out if she knew the difference between joining the Way and coming to Christ. This was only a poor little country hamlet, but everywhere we have travelled, among educated and uneducated alike, we have found much confusion of thought upon this subject.
The first Christian to greet us was a cheerful-looking widow—here’s her photo. We quickly became friends. She told us she had been "born in the Way"; her grandfather had joined it, and no one in her family had turned back, so she felt everything was fine. We weren’t so convinced, and we tried to see if she understood the difference between following the Way and accepting Christ. This was just a small country village, but everywhere we’ve traveled, among both educated and uneducated people, we’ve noticed a lot of confusion about this.
"God knows my heart," she said, "God hears my prayers. If I see a bad dream in the night, I pray to God, and putting a Bible under my head, I sleep in perfect peace." Could anything be more conclusive?
"God knows my heart," she said, "God hears my prayers. If I have a bad dream at night, I pray to God, and by putting a Bible under my head, I sleep in perfect peace." Could anything be more conclusive?
There were numbers of other proofs forthcoming: If your grandfather gave six lamps to the church, value[113] three and a half rupees each (the lamps are hanging to-day, and bear witness to the fact); if your father never failed to pay his yearly dues, besides regular Sunday collections (his name is in the church report, and how much he gave is printed); if you freely help the poor, and give them paddy on Christmas Day (quite a sackful of it); if you never offer to demons (no, not when your children are sick, and the other faithless Christians advise you); if you never tie on the cylinder (a charm frequently though covertly worn by purely nominal Christians); and finally, if you have been baptised and confirmed, and "without a break join the Night-supper," surely no one can reasonably doubt that you are a Christian of a very proper sort? As to questions about change of heart, and chronic indulgence in sins, such as lying—who in this wicked world lives without lying? And when it pleases God to do it He will change your heart.
There were several other pieces of evidence available: If your grandfather donated six lamps to the church, valued at three and a half rupees each (the lamps are still hanging today as proof); if your father consistently paid his annual dues, along with regular Sunday contributions (his name is in the church report, and the amount he donated is printed); if you generously assist the poor and give them a sack of paddy on Christmas Day; if you never make offerings to demons (not even when your children are sick, despite the advice of other unfaithful Christians); if you never wear the cylinder charm (a charm often worn secretly by people who identify as Christians without truly following the faith); and finally, if you have been baptized and confirmed, and regularly participate in communion, surely no one can reasonably doubt that you are a proper Christian? As for questions about sincerity of belief and persistent sins like lying—who in this sinful world can claim to live without lying? And when it pleases God, He will change your heart.
We took the evening meeting for the villagers, who meanwhile had gathered and were listening with approval. Privacy, as we understand it, is a thing unknown in India. "That is right," they remarked cheerfully; "give her plenty of good advice!" And we all trooped into the prayer-room.
We held the evening meeting for the villagers, who had gathered and were listening with approval. Privacy, as we know it, is a concept that doesn't exist in India. "That's right," they said happily; "give her lots of good advice!" And we all walked into the prayer room.
Once in there, everyone put on a sort of church expression, and each one took his or her accustomed seat in decorous silence. The little school-children sat in rows in front on the mats with arms demurely folded, and sparkling eyes fixed solemnly; the grown-up people sat on their mats on either side behind, and we sat on ours facing them. We began with a chorus, which the children picked up quickly and shouted lustily, the[114] grown-ups joining in with more reserve; and then we got to work.
Once we were inside, everyone put on a serious expression, and each person took their usual seat in respectful silence. The little kids sat in rows at the front on the mats with their arms neatly folded and bright eyes focused seriously; the adults sat on their mats on either side behind them, and we sat on ours facing them. We started with a chorus that the children quickly picked up and sang loudly, while the adults joined in more quietly; and then we got to work.
Blessing spoke. She had once been a nominal Christian, and she knew exactly where these people were, and how they looked at things. Her heart was greatly moved as she spoke, and the tears were in her eyes, for she knew none of these friends had the joy of conscious salvation, and she told me afterwards she had thirst and hunger for them. But they listened unimpressed. Then we had prayer and a quiet time; sometimes the Spirit works most in quiet, and we rose expectantly; but there was no sign of life.
Blessing spoke. She had once identified as a Christian, and she understood exactly where these people were and how they perceived things. Her heart was deeply touched as she spoke, and tears filled her eyes because she realized that none of these friends had the joy of knowing their salvation. She later told me she felt a deep thirst and hunger for them. But they listened without showing any interest. Then we prayed and had a moment of silence; sometimes the Spirit works best in quiet, and we stood up hopeful, but there was no sign of life.
After the meeting was over they gathered round us again. They are always so loving and friendly in these little villages; but they could not understand what it was that troubled us. Were they not all Christians?
After the meeting ended, they gathered around us again. They're always so loving and friendly in these small villages; but they couldn't understand what was bothering us. Weren't they all Christians?
Shortly afterwards they came, as their kindly custom is, to bring us fruit and wreaths of flowers on New Year's Day. I missed my first friend of that evening, and asked for her. "That widow you talked to?" said the old catechist, "three days ago fever seized her, and"—He broke off and looked up. Then I longed to hear how she had died, but no one could tell me anything. Oh, the curtain of silence that covers the passing of souls!
Shortly afterward, they came, as they always do, to bring us fruit and flower wreaths on New Year's Day. I noticed my first friend of the evening was missing and asked about her. "That widow you spoke to?" said the old catechist, "three days ago she was taken by fever, and"—He paused and looked up. I wanted to know how she had died, but no one could tell me anything. Oh, the silence that surrounds the passing of souls!
We went soon afterwards to the village, sure that at last the people would be stirred; for she had been a leader among the women, and her call, even in this land of sudden calls, had been very sudden. But we did not find it had affected anyone. They all referred to her in the chastened tone adopted upon such occasions, and, sighing, reminded each other that God was merciful, and she had always been, up to the measure of her ability, a very good woman.[115]
We went to the village shortly after, confident that the people would finally be moved; she had been a leader among the women, and her call, even in this place known for sudden calls, had come very unexpectedly. But we found it hadn't affected anyone. They all spoke of her in a subdued tone used on such occasions and, with sighs, reminded each other that God is merciful, and she had always tried her best to be a good woman.[115]
We felt as if we were standing with each one of those people separately, in the one little standing space we were sure of, before that curtain, and we spoke with them as you speak with those whom you know you may never see again on this side of it. But they looked at us, and wondered what was the matter with us. Were they not Christians? Did they not believe in God? Did they not pray regularly night and morning for forgiveness, protection, and blessing? So they could not understand.
We felt like we were standing with each of those people individually, in the one small space we were sure of, in front of that curtain, and we talked with them like you do with those you know you might never see again on this side. But they looked at us, confused about what was wrong with us. Weren't they Christians? Didn't they believe in God? Didn't they pray regularly, morning and night, for forgiveness, protection, and blessings? So they just couldn't understand.
Was it that the power to understand had been withered up within them? Was the soul God gave them dead—"sentenced to death by disuse"? Dead they are in apathy and ignorance and putrefying customs, and the false security that comes from adherence to the Christian creed without vital connection with Christ. These poor Christians are dead.
Was it that their ability to understand had faded away? Was the soul that God gave them lifeless—"sentenced to death by disuse"? They are dead in apathy and ignorance, stuck in decaying traditions, and trapped in the false sense of security that comes from following the Christian creed without any real connection to Christ. These poor Christians are dead.
"Why should it be thought a thing incredible with you that God should raise the dead?" Lord, it is not a thing incredible. Thou hast done it before. Oh, do it again. Do it soon!
"Why would you think it's unbelievable that God could raise the dead?" Lord, it's not unbelievable. You've done it before. Oh, do it again. Do it soon!
I have told you how much we need your help for the work among the heathen; but often we feel we need it almost as much for the work among the Christians. Over and over again it is told, but still it is hardly understood, that the Christians need to be converted; that the vast majority are not converted; that statistics may mislead, and do not stand for Eternity work; that many a pastor, catechist, teacher, has a name to live, but is dead; that the Church is very dead as a whole—thank God for every exception. We do not say this thoughtlessly; the words are a grief to write. We humble ourselves that[116] it is so, and take to ourselves the blame. It is true that the corpse of the dead Church is dressed, just as it is at home, only here it is even more dressed; and because the spirit of the land is intensely religious, its grave-clothes are vestments. But dressed death is still death.
I’ve told you how much we need your help for the work among the non-believers; but often we feel we need it just as much for the work among the Christians. Time and again, it's said, but still it’s hardly grasped, that Christians need to be converted; that the vast majority aren't converted; that statistics can be misleading and don't reflect lasting impact; that many pastors, catechists, and teachers may have a reputation for being alive, but are actually dead; that the Church as a whole is very lifeless—thank God for every exception. We don’t say this lightly; it pains us to write these words. We acknowledge that it is so, and we take the blame upon ourselves. It’s true that the skeleton of the dead Church is dressed up, just like it is at home, but here it’s even more decorated; and because the spirit of the land is deeply religious, its burial garments are church vestments. But dressed death is still death.
This will come as a shock to those who have read stories of this or that native Christian, and generalising from these stories, picture the Church as a company of saints. God has His saints in India,[1] men and women hidden away in quiet places out of sight, and some few out in the front; but the cry of our hearts is for more. So we tell you the truth about things as they are, though we know it will not be acceptable, for the best is the thing that is best liked at home; so the best is most frequently written.
This might surprise those who have read stories about this or that native Christian, and generalizing from these tales, imagine the Church as a group of saints. God has His saints in India,[1] men and women tucked away in quiet places out of sight, and a few out in the open; but our hearts long for more. So we’re sharing the truth about things as they are, even though we know it won't be well-received, because what’s best is what’s most popular at home; so the best is what’s most often written about.
This may seem to cross out what was said before, about the darker side of the truth being often told. It does not cross it out: read through the magazines and reports, and you will find truth-revealing sentences, which show facts to those who have eyes to see; but though this is so, all will admit that the sanguine view, as it is called, is by far the most in evidence, for the sanguine man is by far the most popular writer, and so is more pressed to write. "People will read what is buoyant and bright; the more of that sort we have the better," wrote a Mission secretary out in the field not long ago, to a missionary who did not feel free to write in quite that way. Those who, to quote another secretary, "are afraid of writing at all, for fear of telling lies"—excuse the energetic language; I am quoting, not inventing—naturally write much less, and so the best gets known.
This might seem to contradict what was said earlier about the darker aspects of the truth often being shared. It doesn’t contradict it: if you read through magazines and reports, you’ll find sentences that reveal the truth, showing facts to those who are willing to see. However, it’s clear that the optimistic viewpoint, as it’s called, is far more prevalent, because the optimistic writer is usually the most popular and is therefore asked to write more. "People prefer to read content that is uplifting and bright; the more we have of that, the better," wrote a mission secretary recently to a missionary who didn’t feel comfortable writing in that manner. Those who, to quote another secretary, "are afraid of writing at all for fear of being dishonest"—sorry for the strong wording; I'm quoting, not inventing—naturally write much less, and as a result, the best is what gets recognized.
This is nobody's fault exactly. The home authorities print for the most part what is sent to them. They even call attention sometimes to the less cheerful view of things; and if, yielding occasionally to the pressure which is brought to bear upon them by a public which loves to hear what it likes, they take the sting out of some strong paragraph by adding an editorial "Nevertheless," is it very astonishing?
This isn't really anyone's fault. The local authorities mostly publish what they receive. They even point out the less optimistic perspectives from time to time; and if, occasionally succumbing to the pressure from a public that prefers to hear only what they want, they soften a strong statement by adding an editorial "Nevertheless," is that really surprising?
Do you think we are writing like this because we are discouraged? No, we are not discouraged, except when sometimes we fear lest you should grow weary in prayer before the answer comes. This India is God's India. This work is His. Oh, join with us then, as we join with all our dear Indian brothers and sisters who are alive in the Lord, in waiting upon Him in that intensest form of waiting which waits on till the answer comes; join with us as we pray to the mighty God of revivals, "O Lord, revive Thy work! Revive Thy work in the midst of the years! In the midst of the years make known!"[118]
Do you think we’re writing like this because we’re discouraged? No, we’re not discouraged, except sometimes we worry you might get tired of praying before the answer comes. This India is God’s India. This work is His. Oh, join us then, as we unite with all our dear Indian brothers and sisters who are alive in the Lord, in that deepest form of waiting that keeps waiting until the answer comes; join us as we pray to the mighty God of revivals, "O Lord, revive Your work! Revive Your work in the midst of the years! In the midst of the years make it known!"[118]
CHAPTER XIV
What Happened
"Some years ago England was stirred through and through by revelations which were made as to the 'Bitter Cry' of wronged womanhood. In India the bitter cry is far more bitter, but it is stifled and smothered by the cruel gag of Caste. Orthodox Hindus would rather see their girls betrayed, tortured, murdered, than suffer them to break through the trammels of Caste."
"Some years ago, England was deeply affected by revelations about the 'Bitter Cry' of wronged women. In India, the cry is even more painful, but it is silenced and suffocated by the harsh constraints of Caste. Orthodox Hindus would rather see their daughters betrayed, tortured, or even murdered than allow them to break free from the restrictions of Caste."

We were rarely able to get anything we specially wanted, but we got this. I look at it now, and wonder how it will develop as the soul behind it shapes and grows. That child is enfolded in influences which ward off the touch of the grace of life.
We hardly ever got what we really wanted, but we got this. I look at it now and wonder how it will evolve as the person behind it shapes and grows. That child is surrounded by influences that protect them from experiencing the true blessings of life.
We saw numbers of women that day, but only at the distance of a street breadth; they would not come nearer, for the town is still a Petra to us, we are waiting to be led in.
We saw a number of women that day, but only from across the street; they wouldn't come any closer because the town still feels like a Petra to us, and we are waiting to be shown the way in.
But if we were able to get in enough to take a photograph, surely we were "in" enough to preach the Gospel?[119] Why not stop and there speak of more important matters? What was to hinder then?
But if we could get in enough to take a photo, surely we were "in" enough to share the Gospel? Why not stop and talk about more important things there? What was stopping us then? [119]
Only this: in that town they have heard of converts coming out, and breaking Caste in baptism, and they have made a law that we (with whom they know some of these converts are) shall never be allowed to speak to any of their women. That hindered us there. But even supposing we had been free to speak, as we trust we shall be soon, and supposing she had wanted to hear, the barriers which lie between such a child and confession of Christ are so many and so great that when, as now, one wants to tell you about them, one hardly knows how to do it. Words seem like little feeble shadows of some grim rock, like little feeble shadows of the grasses growing on it, rather than of it, in its solidity; or, to revert to the old thought, all one can say is just pointing to the Dust as evidence of the Actual.
Just this: in that town, they've heard of converts coming forward and breaking caste through baptism, and they've made a law that we (who they know some of these converts are associated with) can never speak to any of their women. That held us back. But even if we could speak, which we hope to be able to soon, and even if she wanted to listen, the barriers that exist between someone like her and accepting Christ are so numerous and overwhelming that when we want to talk about them, it’s hard to find the words. Words feel like weak shadows of a solid rock, like faint shadows of the grasses that grow on it, rather than truly representing it in its entirety; or, to put it simply, all we can do is point to the dust as proof of the reality.
"What is to hinder high-caste women from being baptised, and living as Christians in their own homes?" The question was asked by an Englishman, a winter visitor, who, being interested in Missions, was gathering impressions. We told him no high-caste woman would be allowed to live as an open Christian in her own home; and we told him of some who, only because they were suspected of inclining towards Christianity, had been caused to disappear. "What do you suppose happened to them?" he asked, and we told him.
"What’s stopping high-caste women from being baptized and living as Christians in their own homes?" The question came from an Englishman, a winter visitor, who was interested in missions and gathering impressions. We explained that no high-caste woman would be allowed to live openly as a Christian in her home; we also informed him about some women who had disappeared simply because they were suspected of leaning towards Christianity. "What do you think happened to them?" he asked, and we told him.
We were talking in the pleasant drawing-room of an Indian Hotel. Our friend smiled, and assured us we must be mistaken. We were under the English Government; such things could not be possible. We looked round the quiet room, with its air of English comfort[120] and English safety; we looked at the quiet faces, faces that had never looked at fear, and we hardly wondered that they could not understand.
We were chatting in the lovely lounge of an Indian hotel. Our friend smiled and insisted that we must be wrong. We were under English governance; such things couldn't happen. We glanced around the calm room, which had an atmosphere of English comfort[120] and English security; we looked at the serene faces, faces that had never known fear, and we hardly blamed them for not understanding.
Then in a moment, even as they talked, we were far away in another room, looking at other faces, faces unquiet, very full of fear. We knew that all round us, for streets and streets, there were only the foes of our Lord; we knew that a cry that was raised for help would be drowned long before it could escape through those many streets to the great English house outside. There were policemen, you say. But policemen in India are not as at home. Policemen can be bribed.
Then in an instant, while we were talking, we found ourselves in another room, looking at different faces, faces tense and filled with fear. We realized that all around us, for miles and miles, there were only the enemies of our Lord; we understood that any cry for help would be silenced long before it could travel through those countless streets to the large English house outside. You might mention the police. But police in India aren’t as reliable. Police can be bribed.
And now we are looking in again. There is a very dark inner room, no window, one small door; the walls are solid, so is the door. If you cried in there, who would hear?
And now we’re looking in again. There’s a very dark inner room, no window, one small door; the walls are solid, and so is the door. If you cried in there, who would hear?
And now we are listening—someone is speaking: "Once there was one; she cared for your God. She was buried into the wall in there, and that was the end of her." . . .
And now we’re listening—someone is talking: "Once there was one; she cared for your God. She was buried in the wall in there, and that was the end of her." . . .
But we are back in the drawing-room, hearing them tell us these things could never be. . . . Three years passed, and a girl came for refuge to us. She loved her people well; she would never have come to us had they let her live as a Christian at home. But no, "Rather than that she shall burn," they said. We were doubtful about her age, and we feared we should have to give her up if the case came on in the courts. And if we had to give her up? We looked at the gentle, trustful face, and we could not bear the thought; and yet, according to our friends, the Government made all safe.
But we’re back in the living room, listening to them say these things could never happen. Three years passed, and a girl came seeking refuge with us. She loved her family deeply; she would never have come to us if they had allowed her to live as a Christian at home. But no, “Rather than that she shall burn,” they insisted. We were unsure about her age, and we worried we would have to give her up if the case went to court. And if we had to give her up? We looked at her gentle, trusting face, and we couldn’t bear the thought; yet, according to our friends, the Government assured everything would be safe.
About that time a paper came to the house; names, dates, means of identification, all were given. This was the story[121] in brief. A young Brahman girl in another South Indian town wanted to be a Christian, and confessed Christ at home. She earnestly wished to be baptised, but she was too young then, and waited, learning steadily and continuing faithful, though everything was done that could be done to turn her from her purpose. She was betrothed against her will to her cousin, and forbidden to have anything to do with the Christians. "She was never allowed to go out alone, and was practically a prisoner."
About that time, a paper arrived at the house; it listed names, dates, and identification details. This was the story[121] in brief. A young Brahman girl in another South Indian town wanted to become a Christian and admitted her faith at home. She really wanted to be baptized, but she was too young at that time, so she waited, learning steadily and remaining faithful, even though everything was done to try to change her mind. She was engaged against her will to her cousin and was forbidden from associating with Christians. "She was never allowed to go out alone and was practically a prisoner."
For three years that child held on, witnessing steadfastly at home, and letting it be clearly known that she was and would be a Christian. A Hindu ceremony of importance in the family was held in her grandfather's house, and she refused to go. This brought things to a crisis. Her people appointed a council of five to investigate the matter. "She maintained a glorious witness before them all," says the missionary; "declared boldly that she was a Christian, and intended to join us; and when challenged about the Bible, she held it out, and read it to the assembled people."
For three years, that child held on, staying strong at home and making it clear that she was and would remain a Christian. A significant Hindu ceremony was held at her grandfather's house, and she refused to attend. This escalated the situation. Her family created a council of five to look into the matter. "She maintained a powerful witness before them all," says the missionary; "she boldly declared that she was a Christian and intended to join us; and when questioned about the Bible, she held it out and read it to the gathered crowd."
For a time it seemed as if she had won the day, but fresh attempts were made upon her constancy by certain religious bigots of the town. They offered her jewels—that failed; tried to get her to turn Mussulman, that being less disgraceful than to be a Christian; and last and worst, tried to stain that white soul black—but, thank God! still they failed.
For a while, it seemed like she had triumphed, but new efforts were made to challenge her resolve by some religious zealots in town. They offered her jewels—but that didn’t work; they tried to persuade her to convert to Islam, which was seen as less shameful than being a Christian; and finally, they attempted to corrupt her pure spirit—but, thank God, they still failed.
At last the waiting time was over; she was of age to be baptised, and she wrote to tell her missionary friend about it. He sent her books to read, and promised to let her know within two days what he could arrange to do. "Her letter was dated from her grandfather's house," the[122] missionary writes, "to which she said she had been sent, and put in a room alone. On the following day, hearing a rumour of her death, I went to N.'s house, and there found her body, outside the door. I caused it to be seized by the police, and the post-mortem has revealed the fact that the poor child was poisoned by arsenic. Bribes have been freely used and atrocious lies have been told, and the net result of all the police inquiries, so far, is that no charge can be brought against anyone."
At last, the waiting was over; she was old enough to be baptized, so she wrote to inform her missionary friend about it. He sent her books to read and promised to let her know within two days what he could arrange to do. "Her letter was dated from her grandfather's house," the [122] missionary writes, "where she said she had been sent and was put in a room alone. The next day, hearing a rumor of her death, I went to N.'s house and found her body outside the door. I had the police take it, and the autopsy revealed that the poor child was poisoned with arsenic. Bribes have been freely given, and terrible lies have been told, and the result of all the police investigations so far is that no charges can be brought against anyone."
Last year we met one of the missionaries from this Mission, on the hills, and we asked him if anyone had been convicted. He said no one had been convicted, "the Caste had seen to that."
Last year, we ran into one of the missionaries from this Mission in the hills, and we asked him if anyone had been convicted. He said no one had been convicted, "the Caste had made sure of that."
Here, then, is a statement of facts, divested of all emotion or sensationalism. A child is shut up in a room alone, and poisoned; when she is dead, her body is thrown outside the door. It was found. There have been bodies which have not been found; but we are under the British Government—nothing can have happened to them!
Here’s a clear statement of the facts, stripped of all emotion or drama. A child is locked in a room alone and poisoned; once she’s dead, her body is tossed outside the door. It was discovered. There have been bodies that haven’t been found; but we are under the British Government—nothing could have happened to them!
The British Government does much, but it cannot do everything. It is notorious in India that false witnesses can be bought at so much a head, according to the nature of witness required. Bribery and corruption are not mere names here, but facts, most difficult for any straightforward official to trace and track and deal with. We know, and everyone knows, that the White Man's Government, though strong enough to win and rule this million-peopled Empire, is weak as a white child when it stands outside the door of an Indian house, and wants to know what has gone on inside, or proposes to regulate what shall go on. It cannot do it. The thought is vain.[123]
The British Government does a lot, but it can't do everything. It's well-known in India that you can pay for false testimonies, depending on the type of witness needed. Bribery and corruption are not just terms here; they are realities that are very hard for any honest official to uncover, track down, and address. We all know that while the White Man's Government is strong enough to conquer and govern this vast Empire, it becomes as powerless as a young child when it tries to learn what's happening inside an Indian home or decides to regulate what goes on. It simply can't do it. That idea is pointless.[123]
"Why not have her put under surveillance?" asked a friend, a military man, about a certain girl who wanted to be a Christian; as if such surveillance were practicable, or ever could be, under such conditions as obtain in high-caste Hindu and Mohammedan circles, except in places directly under the eye of Government. We know there are houses where, at an hour's notice, any kind and any strength of poison can be prepared and administered: quick poison to kill within a few minutes; slow poisons that undermine the constitution, and do their work so safely that no one can find it out; brain poisons, worse than either, and perhaps more commonly used, as they are as effective and much less dangerous. But we could not prove what we know, and knowledge without proof is, legally speaking, valueless.
"Why not have her watched?" asked a friend, a military guy, about a girl who wanted to be a Christian; as if that kind of surveillance was realistic or ever could be, given the circumstances in wealthy Hindu and Muslim communities, except in areas directly monitored by the Government. We know there are places where, with just an hour's notice, any type and strength of poison can be prepared and used: quick poison that kills in minutes; slow poisons that gradually harm the body, doing their work so discreetly that no one can detect it; brain poisons, which are even worse and perhaps more commonly used, since they're effective and much less risky. But we couldn’t prove what we know, and knowledge without proof is, legally speaking, worthless.
And yet we know these things, we have heard "a cry of tears," we have heard "a cry of blood"—
And yet we know these things, we have heard "a cry of tears," we have heard "a cry of blood"—
Through all its joyful bursts of happiness;
God hears their cry, and even if He delays, still
He does not forget.
CHAPTER XV
"Simply Murdered"
"'Agonia'—that word so often on St. Paul's lips, what did it mean? Did it not just mean the thousand wearinesses . . . and deeper, the strivings, the travailings, the bitter disappointments, the 'deaths oft' of a missionary's life?"
"'Agonia'—that word so often on St. Paul's lips, what did it mean? Did it not just mean the countless struggles . . . and deeper, the efforts, the hardships, the bitter disappointments, the frequent 'deaths' of a missionary's life?"
First persecution. Treasure, as her name may be translated, had learnt as a child in the little mission school, and when we went to her village she responded, and took her stand. She refused to take part in a Hindu ceremony. She was beaten, at first slightly, then severely. This failed, so they sent her out of our reach to a heathen village miles away. This also failed, and she was brought home, and for some months went steadily on, reading and learning when she could, and all the time brightly witnessing. She was a joy to us.[125]
First persecution. Treasure, as her name translates, learned as a child in the small mission school, and when we visited her village, she stood firm. She refused to participate in a Hindu ceremony. At first, she was beaten lightly, then more harshly. When that didn't work, they sent her far away to a pagan village. This also didn't succeed, and she was brought back home. For several months, she continued to read and learn whenever she could, all the while shining with her faith. She was a joy to us.[125]
She was very anxious to come out and be baptised, but her age was the difficulty. When a convert comes, the first thing to be done is to let the police authorities know. They send a constable, who takes down the convert's deposition, which is then forwarded to headquarters. One of the first questions concerns age. In some cases a medical certificate is demanded, and the girl's fate turns on that; if we can get one for over sixteen we are safe from prosecution in the Criminal Courts, but eighteen is the safest age, as the Civil Courts, if the case were to proceed, would force us to give her up if she were under eighteen. The difficulty of proving the age, unless the girl is evidently well over it, is very serious. The medical certificate usually takes off a year from what we have every reason to believe is the true age.
She was really eager to come forward and get baptized, but her age was the problem. When someone wants to convert, the first step is to notify the police. They send an officer, who takes the convert's statement, which is then sent to headquarters. One of the initial questions is about age. In some cases, a medical certificate is required, and the girl's future depends on that; if we can get one that states she's over sixteen, we’re safe from being prosecuted in the Criminal Courts, but eighteen is the safest age, since the Civil Courts would require us to hand her over if she was under eighteen. Proving her age is a big challenge unless the girl clearly looks older. The medical certificate often suggests she's a year younger than we know her to be.
One other proof remains—the horoscope. This is a Hindu document written on a palm leaf at the birth of the child; but it is always carefully kept by the head of the family, and so, as a rule, unobtainable. When a case comes on in Court a false horoscope may be produced by the relatives; this was done in a recent case tried in our Courts, so we cannot count upon that. In this girl's case we got the Government registers searched for birth-records of her village, but all such registers we found had been destroyed; none were kept of births sixteen years back. So, though she believed herself to be, and we believed her to be, and the Christians who had known her all her life were sure she was, "about sixteen," we knew it could not be proved. She was a very slight girl, delicate and small for her age. This[126] was against her, and there were other reasons against her coming just then. She had to wait.
One more piece of evidence remains—the horoscope. This is a Hindu document that’s written on a palm leaf at the child’s birth; however, it’s usually kept securely by the head of the family, making it hard to obtain. When a case goes to court, relatives might present a fake horoscope; this happened in a recent case we had in our courts, so we can’t rely on that. In this girl’s situation, we searched the government birth records for her village, but all the records we found had been destroyed; there were no records kept of births from sixteen years ago. So, even though she believed she was around sixteen, and we believed it, and the Christians who had known her all her life were sure she was "about sixteen," we realized it couldn’t be proven. She was a very petite girl, delicate and small for her age. This[126] was a disadvantage for her, and there were other factors that worked against her at that time. She had to wait.
I shall never forget the day I had to tell her so. She could not understand it. She knew that all the higher Castes had threatened to combine, and back up her father in a lawsuit, if she became a Christian; but she thought it would be quite enough if she stood up before the judge, and said she knew she was of age, and she wanted to come to us. "I will not be afraid of the people," she pleaded, "I will stand up straight before them all, and speak without any fear!"
I will never forget the day I had to tell her that. She couldn’t understand it. She knew that all the higher Castes had threatened to come together and support her father in a lawsuit if she became a Christian, but she thought it would be enough if she stood up before the judge and said she knew she was of age and wanted to join us. “I won’t be afraid of the people,” she insisted, “I will stand tall in front of them all and speak without any fear!”
I remember how the tears filled her eyes as I explained things; it was so hard for her to understand that we had no power whatever to protect her. It would be worse for her if she came and had to be given up. She was fully sensible of this, but "Would God let them take me away? Would He not take care of me?" she asked.
I remember how the tears filled her eyes as I explained things; it was so hard for her to understand that we had no power at all to protect her. It would be worse for her if she came and had to be let go. She was fully aware of this, but “Would God let them take me away? Would He not take care of me?” she asked.
I suppose it is right to obey the laws. They are, on whole, righteous laws, made in the defence of these very girls. It would never do if anyone could decoy away a mere child from her parents or natural guardians. But the unrighteous thing, as it seems to us, is that the whole burden of proof lies upon us, and that in these country villages no facilities such as Government registers of birth are to be had, by which we could hope legally to prove a point about which we are morally sure. We feel that as the burden of proof rests upon us, surely facilities should be obtainable by which we could find out a girl's age before she comes, so that we might know whether or not we might legally protect her.[127] Still more strongly we feel it is strange justice which decrees that though a child of twelve may be legally held competent to undertake the responsibilities of wifehood, six years more must pass before she may be legally held free to obey her conscience. Free! She is never legally free! A widow may be legally free; a wife in India, never! Hardly a single Caste wife in all this Empire would be found in the little band of open Christians to-day, if the missionary concerned had not risked more than can be told here, and put God's law before man's. But oh, the number who have been turned back!
I guess it's right to follow the laws. Overall, they are just laws created to protect these girls. It wouldn't be acceptable if anyone could easily lure a child away from her parents or guardians. But what seems unfair to us is that the entire burden of proof falls on us, and that in these rural areas there are no resources, like government birth registers, available to help us legally prove something we are morally certain about. We believe that since the burden of proof is on us, there should definitely be ways to find out a girl's age before she arrives, so we can know whether we can legally protect her.[127] Even more frustrating is the oddity of a system that says a twelve-year-old can be legally competent to take on the responsibilities of being a wife, yet must wait another six years before she can be legally free to follow her own conscience. Free! She's never truly legally free! A widow can be legally free, but a wife in India, never! You'd hardly find any caste wife in this entire country among the small group of open Christians today if the missionaries involved hadn't risked more than can be described here and placed God's law above man's. But oh, how many have been turned away!
One stops, forces the words down—they come too hot and fast. There are reasons. As I write, a young wife dear to us is lying bruised and unconscious on the floor of the inner room of a Hindu house. Her husband, encouraged by her own mother, set himself to make her conform to a certain Caste custom. It was idolatrous. She refused. He beat her then, blow upon blow, till she fell senseless. They brought her round and began again. There is no satisfactory redress. She is his wife. She is not free to be a Christian. He knows it. Her relations know it. She knows it, poor child.
One pauses, forcing the words down—they come too hot and fast. There are reasons. As I write, a young wife who is dear to us is lying bruised and unconscious on the floor of a Hindu house. Her husband, encouraged by her own mother, decided to make her comply with a specific caste custom. It was idolatrous. She refused. He then beat her, blow after blow, until she fell unconscious. They revived her and started again. There’s no satisfactory resolution. She is his wife. She isn’t free to be a Christian. He knows it. Her family knows it. She knows it, poor girl.
O God, forgive us if we are too hot, too sore at heart, for easy pleasantness! And, God, raise up in India Christian statesmen who will inquire into this matter, and refuse to be blindfolded and deceived. His laws and ours clash somewhere; the question is, where?
O God, forgive us if we are too intense, too hurt at heart, for easygoing kindness! And, God, raise up in India Christian leaders who will look into this issue and refuse to be misled. His laws and ours conflict somewhere; the question is, where?
To return to Treasure, we left her waiting to come. A Christian teacher lived next door, and Treasure used to slip in sometimes, as the two courtyards adjoined. We had put up a text on the wall for her: "Fear not:[128] for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art Mine." This was her special text, and she looked at it now; and then she grew braver, and promised to be patient and try to win her mother, who was bitterly opposed.
To get back to Treasure, we left her waiting to come. A Christian teacher lived next door, and Treasure would sometimes sneak in since the two courtyards were connected. We had put up a text on the wall for her: "Fear not:[128] for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name; you are Mine." This was her special verse, and she looked at it now; then she felt braver and promised to be patient and try to win over her mother, who strongly opposed her.
But oh, how I remember the wistfulness of her face as I went out; and one's very heart can feel again the stab of pain, like a knife cutting deep, as I left her—to her fate.
But oh, how I remember the sadness on her face as I walked out; and you can almost feel the sharp pain in your heart, like a knife cutting deep, as I left her—to face her fate.
You have seen a tree standing stark and bare, a bleak black thing, on a sunny day against a sky of blue. You have looked at it, fascinated by the silent horror of it, a distorted cinder, not a tree, and someone tells you it was struck in the last great thunderstorm.
You have seen a tree standing stark and bare, a bleak black thing, on a sunny day against a blue sky. You have looked at it, fascinated by its silent horror, a distorted piece of ash, not really a tree, and someone tells you it was hit during the last big thunderstorm.
Next time we saw Treasure she was like that. What happened between, so far as it is known, was this. They tried to persuade her, they tried to coerce her; she witnessed to Jesus, and never faltered, though once they dragged her out of the house by her hair, and holding her down against the wall, struck her hard with a leather strap. One of the Christians saw it, and heard the poor tortured child cry out, "I do not fear! I do not fear! It will only send me to Jesus!"
Next time we saw Treasure, she was like that. What happened in between, as far as we know, was this. They tried to convince her, they tried to force her; she testified about Jesus and never wavered, even when they dragged her out of the house by her hair and held her down against the wall, hitting her hard with a leather strap. One of the Christians witnessed it and heard the poor tortured child cry out, "I do not fear! I do not fear! It will only take me to Jesus!"
Then they tried threats. "We will take you out to the lake at night, and cut you in little pieces, and throw you into it." She fully believed them, but even so, we hear she did not flinch.
Then they tried threats. "We’ll take you out to the lake at night, cut you into little pieces, and toss you in." She completely believed them, but even so, we hear she didn’t flinch.
Then they did their worst to her.
Then they did their worst to her.
It was a Sunday morning. The Saturday evening before she had managed to see the teacher. She told her hurriedly how one had come, "a bridegroom" she[129] called him, a student from a Mission College; he was telling her all sorts of things—that Christianity was an exploded religion; and how a great and learned woman (Mrs. Besant) had exposed the missionaries and their ways, so that no thinking people had any excuse for being deceived by them.
It was a Sunday morning. The Saturday evening before, she had managed to see the teacher. She told her quickly how one had come, "a bridegroom," she[129] called him, a student from a Mission College; he was telling her all kinds of things—that Christianity was an outdated religion; and how a great and knowledgeable woman (Mrs. Besant) had revealed the missionaries and their methods, so that no thinking person had any reason to be fooled by them.
Then she added earnestly, "It is the devil. Do pray for me. They want me to marry him secretly! Oh, I must go to the Missie Ammal!" And if we had only known, we would have risked anything, any breach of the law of the land, to save her from a breach of the law of heaven! For all this talk, between an Indian girl of good repute and her prospective husband, is utterly foreign to what is considered right in Old India. It in itself meant danger. But we knew nothing, and next day, all that Sunday, she was shut up, and no one knows what happened to her. On Monday she was seen again; but changed, so utterly changed!
Then she added sincerely, "It's the devil. Please pray for me. They want me to secretly marry him! Oh, I need to go to the Missie Ammal!" If only we had known, we would have risked anything, any violation of the law, to protect her from breaking the laws of heaven! All this talking, between a respected Indian girl and her future husband, was completely alien to what is considered acceptable in Old India. It was dangerous in itself. But we were unaware, and the next day, all of Sunday, she was locked away, and no one knows what happened to her. On Monday, she was seen again, but she was different, completely different!
We heard nothing of this till the following Wednesday. The Christians were honestly concerned, but the Tamil is ever casual, and they saw no reason for distressing us with bad news sooner than could be helped.
We didn't hear anything about this until the next Wednesday. The Christians were genuinely worried, but the Tamil are always laid-back, and they saw no need to upset us with bad news any sooner than necessary.
As soon as we heard, I sent two of the Sisters who knew her best, to try and see her if possible. They managed to see her for two or three minutes, but found her hopelessly hard. Every bit of care was gone. She laughed in a queer, strained way, they said. It was no use my trying to see her. But I determined to see her. I cannot go over it all again, it is like tearing the skin off a wound; so the letter written at the time may tell the rest of it.
As soon as we found out, I sent two of the Sisters who knew her well to see if they could visit her. They were able to see her for two or three minutes, but they found her completely unresponsive. All her care had disappeared. They said she laughed in a strange, forced way. Trying to visit her myself seemed pointless, but I was determined to see her. I can’t go through it all again; it feels like ripping the skin off a wound. So, the letter I wrote at that time might explain the rest.
"On Saturday I went. I went straight to the teacher's[130] house, and sent off the bandy at once, and by God's special arrangement got in unnoticed. For hours we sat in the little inner room, waiting; we could hear her voice in the courtyard outside—a hard, changed voice. The teacher tried to get her in, but no, she would not come. Oh, how we held on to God! I could not bear to go till I had seen her.
"On Saturday, I went. I went straight to the teacher's[130] house and sent off the bandy right away, and by some special twist of fate, I got in without being noticed. We sat in the small inner room for hours, waiting; we could hear her voice in the courtyard outside—a harsh, changed voice. The teacher tried to get her to come in, but no, she wouldn’t. Oh, how we clung to God! I couldn’t bring myself to leave until I had seen her."
"At last we had to go. The cart came back for us, thus proclaiming where we were, and the last human chance was gone. And then, just then, like one walking in a dream, Treasure wandered in and stood, startled.
"Finally, we had to leave. The cart returned for us, revealing our location, and our last chance as humans was gone. And then, at that moment, as if in a dream, Treasure appeared and stood there, startled."
"She did not know we were there. We were kneeling with our backs to the door. I turned and saw her.
"She didn't know we were there. We were kneeling with our backs to the door. I turned and saw her."
"I cannot write about the next five minutes; I thought I realised something of what Satan could do in this land, but I knew nothing about it. Oh, when will Jesus come and end it all?
"I can't describe the next five minutes; I thought I understood a bit of what Satan could do in this land, but I really knew nothing about it. Oh, when will Jesus come and put an end to it all?"
"Just once it seemed as if the spell were broken. My arms were round her, though she had shrunk away at first, and tried to push me from her; she was quiet now, and seemed to understand a little how one cared. She knelt down with me, and covered her eyes as if in prayer, while I poured out my soul for her, and then we were all very still, and the Lord seemed very near. But she rose, unmoved, and looked at us. We were all quite broken down, and she smiled in a strange, hard, foolish way—that was all.
"Just once, it felt like the spell was broken. I had my arms around her, even though she had pulled away at first and tried to push me away; now she was quiet and seemed to get a little bit of how someone could care. She knelt down with me and covered her eyes like she was praying while I poured my heart out to her. Then we were all very still, and it felt like the Lord was very close. But she stood up, unaffected, and looked at us. We were all pretty broken, and she smiled in a strange, tough, silly way—that was all."
"The cause no one knows. There are only two possible explanations. One is poison. There is some sort of mind-bewildering medicine which it is known is given in such cases. This is the view held by the Christians[131] on the spot. One of them says her cousin was dealt with in this way. He was keen to be a Christian, and was shut up for a day, and came out—dead. Dead, she means, to all which before had been life to him.
"The cause is unknown. There are only two possible explanations. One is poison. There's some kind of confusing medicine that is known to be given in these cases. This is the belief held by the local Christians[131]. One of them says her cousin experienced this. He wanted to become a Christian, and after being confined for a day, he came out—dead. By dead, she means he was no longer alive to everything that had once meant life to him."
"The other, and worse, is sin. Has she been forced into some sin which to one so enlightened as she is must mean an awful darkness, the hiding of God's face?
"The other, and worse, is sin. Has she been pushed into some sin that for someone as enlightened as she is must mean a terrible darkness, the absence of God's presence?"
"I cannot tell you how bright this dear child was. Up till that Saturday evening her faith never wavered; she was a living sign to all the town that the Lord is God. The heathen are triumphant now."
"I can’t express how bright this dear child was. Up until that Saturday evening, her faith never faltered; she was a living testament to everyone in town that the Lord is God. The nonbelievers are celebrating now."
I have told you plainly what has happened. God's Truth needs no painting. I leave it with you. Do you believe it is perfectly true? Then what are you going to do?
I’ve clearly told you what happened. The truth of God doesn’t need embellishment. I leave it to you. Do you believe it’s completely true? If so, what are you going to do?
CHAPTER XVI
Wanted, Volunteers
"We have a great and imposing War Office, but a very small army. . . . While vast continents are shrouded in almost utter darkness, and hundreds of millions suffer the horrors of heathenism or of Islam, the burden of proof lies upon you to show that the circumstances in which God has placed you were meant by Him to keep you out of the foreign mission field."
"We have a large and impressive War Office, but a very small army. . . . While huge continents are covered in near-total darkness, and hundreds of millions endure the horrors of paganism or Islam, the responsibility is on you to prove that the situation God has placed you in was intended by Him to keep you away from the foreign mission field."

Among the Petras of this district is a little old-fashioned[133] country town, held in strength by the Brahmans. No convert has ever come from that town, and the town boasts that none ever shall. None of the houses are open yet to teaching, or even visiting, but we are making friends, and hope for an entrance soon. We spent a morning out in the street; they had no objection to that, and as the free young Brahmans gathered round us, or stood for a moment against a wall to be "caught," it was difficult, even for us who knew it, to realise how bound they were. "Bound, who should conquer; slaves, who should be kings." Bound, body and soul, in a bondage perfectly incomprehensible to the English mind.
Among the Petras in this area is a quaint old-fashioned[133] country town, strongly upheld by the Brahmans. No one has ever converted from that town, and the locals pride themselves on the idea that none ever will. None of the houses welcome teaching or even visits yet, but we are building friendships and hope to make inroads soon. We spent a morning out on the street; they didn’t mind that, and as the free-spirited young Brahmans gathered around us or stood against a wall for a moment to be "caught," it was hard, even for us who understood, to realize how trapped they were. "Trapped, who should conquer; slaves, who should be kings." Bound, body and soul, in a bondage completely incomprehensible to the English mind.
Afterwards, when we saw the photographs, we recalled one and another who, while they were young students like these, dared to desire to escape from their bondage; but back they were dragged, and the chains were riveted faster than ever, and every link was tested again, and hammered down hard.
Afterwards, when we looked at the photos, we remembered one person after another who, when they were young students like these, dared to dream of breaking free from their constraints; but they were pulled back, and the chains were locked in even more tightly, with every link being tested again and hammered down hard.
We wanted to be sure of our facts about each of them, that these facts may further answer that smile which assures us things are not as we imagine; so the Iyer wrote to a brother missionary who had known these lads well, and asked him to tell what happened to each of them. This morning the answer to that letter came, and was handed to me with "I hardly like to give it to you, but it tells the truth about what goes on." These boys were students in our C.M.S. College.
We wanted to confirm our facts about each of them to help explain that smile that suggests things aren't as we think; so the Iyer reached out to a fellow missionary who knew these guys well and asked him to share what happened to each of them. This morning, the reply to that letter arrived and was given to me with, "I’m not sure I want to give this to you, but it reveals the reality of what’s happening." These boys were students at our C.M.S. College.
The first one mentioned in the letter is a young Brahman who confessed Christ in baptism, and bravely withstood the tremendous opposition raised by his friends,[134] who came in crowds for many weeks, and tried by every argument to persuade him to return to Hinduism; but he preached Christ to them. They brought his young wife, and she tore her hair and wailed, and besought him not to condemn her to the shame of a widow's life. This was the hardest of all to withstand; he turned to the missionary and said, "Oh my father, take her away! She is tearing out my heart!"
The first person mentioned in the letter is a young Brahman who accepted Christ through baptism and bravely faced the strong opposition from his friends, [134] who came in large groups for many weeks and tried every argument to convince him to go back to Hinduism; but he preached Christ to them. They brought his young wife to him, and she pulled out her hair and cried, begging him not to condemn her to the shame of being a widow. This was the hardest thing for him to withstand; he turned to the missionary and said, "Oh my father, take her away! She is breaking my heart!"

Then came the baptism day of another Brahman student, his friend, who previous to this had been seized by his relatives, shut up and starved, and then fed with poisoned food; but the poison was not strong enough to kill, and he had escaped, and was now safe and ready for baptism.
Then came the baptism day of another Brahman student, his friend, who had previously been captured by his relatives, locked up, and starved, and then given poisoned food; but the poison wasn't strong enough to kill him, and he had escaped, and was now safe and ready for baptism.
It was remembered afterwards how the friend of the newly baptised stood and rejoiced, and praised God. Then, the baptism over, fearing no danger in open day, he went to the tank to bathe. He was never seen again.
It was remembered later how the friend of the newly baptized stood and celebrated, praising God. After the baptism was done, and feeling safe in the daylight, he went to the tank to take a swim. He was never seen again.
What happened exactly no one knows. It is thought that men hired to watch him seized their opportunity, and carried him off. What they did then has never been told. Contradictory reports about the boy have reached the missionaries. One, that he is still holding on, another that he is now a priest in one of the great Saivite temples of South India. Which is true, God knows.
What exactly happened, no one knows. It’s believed that the men hired to watch him took their chance and abducted him. What happened next has never been revealed. The missionaries have received conflicting reports about the boy. One says he’s still surviving, while another claims he’s now a priest in one of the major Saivite temples in South India. Which one is true, only God knows.
But we are under the English Government. Could nothing be done? One of his near relatives is the present Judge of the High Court of one of our Indian cities. And among the crowd of Brahmans who came[135] during those weeks, there were influential men, graduates of colleges, members of the legal profession—a favourite profession in India. And yet this thing was done.
But we are under English rule. Could anything be done? One of his close relatives is the current Judge of the High Court in one of our Indian cities. Among the many Brahmins who visited[135] during those weeks, there were influential people, college graduates, and members of the legal profession—a popular profession in India. And still, this happened.
There was another; the means used to get hold of him cannot be written here. That is the difficulty which fronts us when we try to tell the truth as it really is. It simply cannot be told. The Dust may be shown—or a little of it; the whole of the Actual, never.
There was another; the methods used to capture him can’t be described here. That’s the challenge we face when we try to share the truth as it really is. It just can’t be fully conveyed. The Dust might be shown—or a bit of it; the entirety of the Actual, never.
There were others near the Kingdom, but it is the same story over again. They were all spirited away from the college; the missionary writes, "it makes one's heart sick to think of them, and the hellish means invented to turn them from Christ." These are not the words of sentimental imagination. They are the words of a man who gives evidence as a witness. But even a witness may feel.
There were others near the Kingdom, but it's the same story all over again. They were all taken from the college; the missionary writes, "it makes one's heart sick to think of them, and the hellish means invented to turn them from Christ." These aren't just the words of someone being sentimental. They come from a man who gives evidence as a witness. But even a witness may feel.
He tells us of one, a bright, happy fellow, he says he was, whose friends made no objection to his returning home after his baptism, and he returned, thinking he would be able to live as a Christian with his wife. They drugged his food, then what they did has to be covered with silence again. . . . They did their worst. . . . When he awoke from that nightmare of sin, he sought out his missionary friend. Some of the Hindus even, "ashamed of the vile means used" to entice him and destroy him, would have wished him to be received again as a Christian, but his spirit was broken. He said he could not disgrace the cause of Christ by coming back; he would go away where he would not be known. He left his wife, and went. He has never been heard of since.[136]
He tells us about someone, a cheerful and lively guy, he says he was, whose friends didn’t mind him coming back home after his baptism. He returned, believing he could live as a Christian with his wife. They spiked his food, and then what happened next has to stay a secret again... They did their worst... When he finally woke up from that terrible experience, he looked for his missionary friend. Some of the Hindus even, "ashamed of the terrible methods used" to lure him and ruin him, would have wanted him to be welcomed back as a Christian, but he was too broken. He said he couldn’t bring shame to the cause of Christ by returning; he would leave to a place where no one knew him. He left his wife and went away. He hasn’t been heard from since.[136]
Our comrade tells of another, and again, in telling it, we have to leave it half untold. This one was eager to confess Christ in baptism; he was a student at college then, and very keen. His father knew of his son's desire, and he did what few Hindu fathers would do, he turned his home into a hell, in order to ruin his boy. The infernal plot succeeded. God only knows how far the soul is responsible when the mind is dazed and then inflamed by those fearful drugs. But we do know that the soul He meant should rise and shine, sinks, weighted down by the unspeakable shame of some awful memory darkened, as by some dark dye that has stained it through and through.
Our friend talks about someone else, and once again, we have to leave it half told. This person was eager to be baptized as a Christian; he was a college student at the time and very enthusiastic. His father was aware of his son's wish, and he did what few Hindu fathers would do, he turned their home into a nightmare to ruin his son. The malicious plan worked. Only God knows how much responsibility falls on the soul when the mind is confused and then consumed by those terrible substances. But we do know that the soul that was meant to rise and shine is weighed down by the unbearable shame of a horrific memory, darkened as if stained by some deep dye that has penetrated it completely.
I think of others as I write: one was a boy we knew well, a splendid, earnest lad, keen to witness for Christ. He told us one evening how he had been delivered from those who were plotting his destruction. For several months after his decision to be a Christian, he lived at home and tried to win his people; but they were incensed against him for even thinking of breaking Caste, and would not listen to him. Still he waited, and witnessed to them, not fearing anything. Then one day, suddenly some men rushed into the room where he was sitting, seized and bound and gagged him. They forced something into his mouth as he lay on the floor at their mercy; he feared it was a drug, but it was only some disgusting stuff which, to a Hindu, meant unutterable defilement. Then they left him bound alone, and at night he managed to escape. A few months after he told us this, we heard he had been seized again, and this time "drugged and done for."[137]
I think of others as I write: one was a boy we knew well, a great, earnest kid, eager to stand up for Christ. One evening, he told us how he had been saved from those who were trying to ruin him. For several months after he chose to be a Christian, he stayed at home and tried to win over his family; but they were furious at him for even thinking about breaking Caste and wouldn't listen to him. Even so, he hung in there and shared his faith, not afraid of anything. Then one day, suddenly, some men charged into the room where he was sitting, grabbed him, tied him up, and gagged him. They forced something into his mouth while he lay on the floor at their mercy; he was scared it was a drug, but it turned out to be some disgusting substance that, for a Hindu, meant deep defilement. Then they left him tied up and alone, and at night he managed to break free. A few months later, we heard he had been captured again, and this time "drugged and done for."[137]
In South India baptism does not prevent the Caste from using every possible means to get the convert back; once back, certain ceremonies are performed, after which he is regarded as purified, and reinstated in his Caste. The policy of the whole Caste confederation is this: get him back unbaptised if you can, but anyhow get him back. Two Brahman lads belonging to different parts of this district decided for Christ, went through all that is involved in open confession, and were baptised. One of the two was sent North for safety; his people traced him, followed him, turned up unexpectedly at a wayside station in Central India, and forced him back to his home in the South. Once there, they took their own measures to keep him. The other lad was sent to Madras. The Brahmans found out where he was, broke into the house at night, overpowered the boy's protectors, and carried him off. They too did what seemed good to them there, and they too succeeded. No one outside could interfere. The Caste guards its own concerns.
In South India, baptism doesn’t stop the Caste from using every possible way to bring the convert back; once they return, certain ceremonies are carried out, after which they are considered purified and reinstated in their Caste. The policy of the entire Caste confederation is this: get him back unbaptized if possible, but in any case, get him back. Two Brahman boys from different areas in this district decided to follow Christ, went through everything involved in an open confession, and were baptized. One of them was sent North for safety; his family traced him, followed him, unexpectedly showed up at a wayside station in Central India, and forced him back home to the South. Once there, they took their own steps to keep him. The other boy was sent to Madras. The Brahmans found out where he was, broke into the house at night, overpowered the boy's protectors, and took him away. They also did what they deemed necessary there, and they also succeeded. No one from outside could intervene. The Caste protects its own interests.
"O Lord Jesus Christ!" wrote one, a Hindu still, "who knowest us to be placed in such danger that it is as if we were within some magical circle drawn round us, and Satan standing with his wand without, keeping us in terror, break the spell of Satan, and set us free to serve Thee!"
"O Lord Jesus Christ!" wrote one, a Hindu still, "who knows we are in such danger that it's like we're trapped in a magical circle with Satan outside, keeping us terrified. Break Satan's spell and set us free to serve You!"
All this may be easy reading to those who are far away from the place where it happened. Distance has a way of softening too distinct an outline; but it is not easy to write, it comes so close to us. Why write it, then? We write it because it seems to us it should be more fully known, so that men and women who know our[138] God, and the secret of how to lay hold upon Him, should lay hold, and hold on for the winning of the Castes for Christ.
All of this might be easy for those who are far removed from where it all happened. Distance tends to blur the details, but it’s not easy to write about because it feels so close to us. So why write it? We write it because we believe it should be more widely understood, so that men and women who know our[138] God, and the secret to connecting with Him, can grab hold and persevere in winning the Castes for Christ.

Surely the very hardness of an enterprise, the very fact that it is what a soldier would call a forlorn hope, is in itself a call and a claim stronger than any put forth by something easier. The soldier does not give in because the hope is "forlorn." It is a hope, be it ever so desperate. He volunteers for it, and win or not, he fights.
Surely the difficulty of a task, the fact that it’s what a soldier might call a lost cause, is in itself a stronger call and claim than anything offered by something simpler. The soldier doesn’t back down just because the hope is "lost." It’s still a hope, no matter how desperate. He signs up for it, and whether he wins or loses, he fights.
There is that in this enterprise which may mark it out as "forlorn." For ages the race has broken one of nature's laws with blind persistency, and the result is a certain lack of moral fibre, grit, "tone." No separate individual is responsible for this, harsh judgments are entirely out of place; but the fact remains that it is so, and it must be taken into account in dealing with the Brahmans and several of the upper Castes of India. Side by side with this element of weakness there is, in apparent contradiction, that stubborn element of strength known as the Caste spirit. This spirit is seen in all I have shown you of what happens when a convert comes. It is as if all the million wills of the million Caste men and women were condensed into one single Will, a concentration of essence of Will not comparable with anything known at home.
There’s something about this effort that might make it seem “hopeless.” For centuries, people have continuously defied one of nature’s laws, which has led to a noticeable lack of moral strength, determination, and “refinement.” No single person is to blame for this; harsh judgments are completely unwarranted. However, it remains a reality that must be considered when interacting with the Brahmins and several upper castes in India. Alongside this weakness is, paradoxically, a strong element of resilience known as the Caste spirit. This spirit is evident in everything I’ve shown you about what happens when someone converts. It feels like all the wills of a million caste men and women have unified into one single Will, a concentrated essence of Will that’s unlike anything you’d encounter back home.
Look at this face—it is a photographed fact. Does it not show you an absence of that "something" which nerves to endurance, stimulates to dare? Then listen to this:—A Christian man lies dead. The way to the cemetery lies through the Brahman street, in the chief town of this[139] District; there is no other way. The Brahman street is a thoroughfare, it cannot be closed to traffic, but the Brahmans refuse point blank to allow that dead man to be carried through. The Bishop expostulates. No; he was a Christian, he shall not be carried through. Time is passing. In the Tropics the dead must be buried quickly. The Bishop appeals to the Collector (Representative of Government here). The Collector gives an order. The Brahmans refuse to obey. He orders out a company of soldiers. The Brahmans mass on the housetops and stone the soldiers. The order is given to fire. Then, and not till then, the Christians may carry out their dead; and later on the Brahmans carry out theirs. This happened some years ago, and outwardly times have changed since then in that particular town. But the spirit that it shows is in possession to this day, and as small things show great, so this street scene shows the presence of that "something" which intensifies the difficulty of winning the Castes for Christ. Each unit is weak in itself, but in combination, strong.
Look at this face—it’s a taken fact. Doesn’t it reveal a lack of that “something” that drives one to endure and encourages daring? Now listen to this: A Christian man is dead. The path to the cemetery goes through the Brahman street in the main town of this[139] District; there’s no other route. The Brahman street is a main road; it can’t be blocked, but the Brahmans flatly refuse to let that dead man be taken through. The Bishop pleads with them. No; he was a Christian, and he can’t be carried through. Time is slipping away. In the Tropics, the dead need to be buried quickly. The Bishop seeks help from the Collector (the Government's representative here). The Collector issues an order. The Brahmans refuse to comply. He sends out a group of soldiers. The Brahmans gather on the rooftops and throw stones at the soldiers. The order is given to fire. Only then can the Christians carry out their dead, and afterward, the Brahmans will carry out theirs. This happened a few years ago, and outwardly things have changed since then in that town. But the underlying spirit from that time remains today, and just as small things reveal the significant, this street scene highlights the presence of that “something” which makes it challenging to win the Castes for Christ. Each individual is weak on its own, but together, they are strong.
"A forlorn hope" we have called the attempt to do what we are told to do. The word is a misnomer; with our Captain as our Leader no hope is ever "forlorn"! But our Leader calls for men, men like the brave of old who jeopardised their lives unto the death in the high places of the field, in the day that they came to the help of the Lord, to the help of the Lord against the mighty. A jeopardised life may be lost.
"A lost cause" is what we've called the effort to follow orders. The term is misleading; with our Captain as our Leader, no cause is ever truly "lost"! But our Leader calls for men, men like the brave ones of the past who risked their lives to the very end in the high places of battle, when they came to aid the Lord, to aid the Lord against the powerful. A life at risk can be lost.
Christ our Captain is calling for volunteers; here are the terms: "Whosoever shall lose his life for My sake and the Gospel's the same shall find it." The teachers'[140] life may seem "lost" who lives for his college boys; the student's life may seem "lost" who spends hour after hour through the long hot days in quiet talks in the house. Be it so, for it may mean that. But the life lost for His Name's sake, the same shall be found again.
Christ our Leader is calling for volunteers; here are the terms: "Anyone who gives up their life for My sake and the sake of the Gospel will find it." The teacher's life may seem “lost” who dedicates himself to his college students; the student's life may seem “lost” who spends countless hours during the long, hot days in quiet discussions at the house. So be it, for it may seem that way. But the life lost for His Name's sake will be found again.
CHAPTER XVII
If it is so very important. . . ?
"Let us for a moment imagine what would have happened on the Galilean hillside, when our Lord fed the five thousand, if the Apostles had acted as some act now. The twelve would be going backwards, helping the first rank over and over again, and leaving the back rows unsupplied. Let us suppose one of them, say Andrew, venturing to say to his brother Simon Peter, 'Ought we all to be feeding the front row? Ought we not to divide, and some of us go to the back rows?' Then suppose Peter replying, 'Oh no; don't you see these front people are so hungry? They have not had half enough yet; besides, they are nearest to us, so we are more responsible for them.' Then, if Andrew resumes his appeal, suppose Peter going on to say, 'Very well; you are quite right. You go and feed all those back rows; but I can't spare anyone else. I and the other ten of us have more than we can do here.'
"Let’s take a moment to picture what would have happened on that Galilean hillside when our Lord fed the five thousand if the Apostles acted like some do today. The twelve would be going backward, continuously helping the people in the front row while leaving the back rows neglected. Imagine one of them, let’s say Andrew, daring to suggest to his brother Simon Peter, ‘Shouldn't we all be feeding the front row? Shouldn't we divide up and send some of us to the back rows?’ Then picture Peter responding, ‘Oh no; don’t you see how hungry these people in the front are? They haven't had nearly enough yet; and anyway, they’re closest to us, so we have more responsibility for them.’ If Andrew continues to push his point, imagine Peter then saying, ‘Alright; you’re totally right. You go and feed all those people in the back rows; but I can’t send anyone else. The other ten of us and I have more than enough to do right here.’"
"Once more, suppose Andrew persuades Philip to go with him; then, perhaps, Matthew will cry out and say, 'Why, they're all going to those farther rows! Is no one to be left to these needy people in front?'
"Once again, imagine Andrew convinces Philip to come with him; then, maybe, Matthew will shout, 'Hey, they're all heading to those back rows! Is no one going to stay behind for these needy people up front?'"
"Let me ask the members of Congress, Do you recognise these sentences at all?"
"Let me ask the members of Congress, do you recognize these sentences at all?"
We went again and again, but she suffered so that one could not say much, it did not seem any use. The last time we went, the crisis had passed; she would live,[142] they told us with joy. They were eager to listen to us now. "Tell us all about your Way!" clamoured the women, speaking together, and very loud. "Tell us the news from beginning to end!" But, alas! they could take in very little. One whole new Truth was too much for them. "Never mind," they consoled us, "come every day, and then what you say will take hold of our hearts." And I had to tell them we were leaving that evening, and could not come "every day."
We kept going back, but she was in so much pain that it felt pointless to say much. The last time we visited, she had gotten through the worst of it; they told us with joy that she would live,[142] and they were eager to hear from us now. "Share your journey with us!" the women shouted all at once, trying to speak over each other. "Tell us everything from start to finish!" But, unfortunately, they couldn’t grasp much. A single new truth was too overwhelming for them. "Don’t worry," they reassured us, "come every day, and what you share will touch our hearts." But I had to tell them we were leaving that evening and couldn't come "every day."

The girl turned her patient face towards us. She had smiled at the Name of Jesus, and it seemed as if down in the depths of her weakness she had listened when we spoke before, and tried to understand. Now she looked puzzled and troubled, and the women all asked, "Why?"
The girl turned her attentive face towards us. She had smiled at the Name of Jesus, and it felt like deep down in her weakness she had listened when we spoke earlier and tried to understand. Now she looked confused and worried, and the women all asked, "Why?"
There, in that crowded, hot little room, a sense of the unequal distribution of the Bread of Life came over us. The front rows of the Five Thousand are getting the loaves and the fishes over and over again, till it seems as though they have to be bribed and besought to accept them, while the back rows are almost forgotten. Is it that we are so busy with the front rows, which we can see, that we have no time for the back rows out of sight? But is it fair? Is it what Jesus our Master intended? Can it be really called fair?
There, in that crowded, hot little room, a feeling of the uneven distribution of the Bread of Life hit us. The front rows of the Five Thousand keep getting the loaves and the fishes repeatedly, almost as if they need to be convinced and pleaded with to take them, while the back rows are nearly forgotten. Are we so focused on the front rows, which we can see, that we don't have time for the back rows that are out of sight? But is that fair? Is that what Jesus, our Master, intended? Can it really be considered fair?
The women looked very reproachful. Then one of them said, looking up at me, "You say this is very important. If it is so very important, why did you not come before? You say you will come back again if you can, but how can we be sure that nothing will happen to stop you? We are, some of us, very old; we may die[143] before you come back. This going away is not good." And again and again she repeated, "If it is so very important, why did you not come before?"
The women looked very disappointed. Then one of them said, looking up at me, "You say this is really important. If it’s so important, why didn’t you come earlier? You say you’ll come back if you can, but how can we trust that nothing will happen to stop you? Some of us are quite old; we might die[143] before you return. This leaving isn’t good." And she kept repeating, "If it’s so important, why didn’t you come earlier?"
Don't think that the question meant more than it did. It was only a human expression of wonder; it was not a real desire after God. But the force of the question was stronger far than the poor old questioner knew; it appealed to our very hearts.
Don't think that the question meant more than it did. It was just a human expression of curiosity; it wasn't a genuine longing for God. But the intensity of the question was much greater than the poor old questioner realized; it reached out to our very hearts.
The people saw we were greatly moved, and they pressed closer round us to comfort us, and one dear old grandmother put her arms round me, and stroked my face with her wrinkled old hand, and said, "Don't be troubled; we will worship your God. We will worship Him just as we worship our own. Now, will you go away glad?"
The people noticed that we were really touched, and they came closer to comfort us. One sweet old grandmother wrapped her arms around me, gently stroked my face with her wrinkled hand, and said, "Don't worry; we will worship your God. We will worship Him just like we worship our own. Now, will you leave feeling happy?"

The dear old woman was really in earnest, she wanted so much to comfort us. But her voice seemed to mingle with voices from the homeland; and another—we heard another—the Voice I had heard on the precipice-edge—the voice of our brothers', our sisters' blood calling unto God from the ground.
The dear old woman was genuinely sincere; she really wanted to comfort us. But her voice felt like it was blending with voices from our homeland; and then we heard it again—the Voice I heard on the edge of the cliff—the voice of our brothers' and sisters' blood crying out to God from the earth.
Friends, are these women real to you? Look at this photo of one of them. Surely it was not just a happy chance which brought out the detail so perfectly. Look at the thoughtful, fine old face. Can you look at it and say, "Yes, I am on my way to the Light, and you are on your way to the Dark. At least, this is what I profess to believe. And I am sorry for you, but this is all I can do for you; I can be very sorry for you. I know that this will not show you the way from the Dark, where you are, to the Light, where I am. To show you the way I must go to you, or, perhaps, send you one[144] whom I want for myself, or do without something I wish to have; and this, of course, is impossible. It might be done if I loved God enough—but I love myself better than God or you."
Friends, do these women seem real to you? Take a look at this photo of one of them. It can’t just be a coincidence that the detail is captured so perfectly. Look at that thoughtful, wise old face. Can you see it and say, "Yes, I'm on my way to the Light, and you're on your way to the Dark. At least, that's what I claim to believe. I'm sorry for you, but that's all I can do; I can feel pity for you. I know that this won't guide you from the Dark, where you are, to the Light, where I am. To guide you, I would need to come to you, or maybe send you someone I want for myself, or give up something I desire; and, of course, that's impossible. It might be possible if I loved God enough—but I love myself more than God or you."
You would not say such a thing, I know, but "Whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?"
You wouldn't say something like that, I know, but "Whoever has the things of this world and sees their brother in need, and shuts off their compassion from them, how can the love of God be in them?"
CHAPTER XVIII
The Call Intensified
"Sometimes the men and boys will not go away and let us talk to the women; in such cases I find silent prayer the best refuge. In other places the people welcome you, but will listen to anything but the Doctrine of Jesus Christ; and this is harder to bear than anything else I know."
"Sometimes the men and boys won’t leave us alone to talk to the women; in those situations, I find that silent prayer is the best refuge. In other places, people welcome you, but they'll listen to anything except the Doctrine of Jesus Christ; and that is harder to endure than anything else I know."
"Let the people that are at home not care only to hear about successes; we must train them that they take an interest in the struggle."
"Let those at home not only focus on hearing about successes; we need to teach them to care about the struggle."
"It is a fight making its demands upon physical, mental, and spiritual powers, and there are many adversaries. The dead weight of heathenism, the little appreciation of one's object and purpose, and the actual, vigorous opposition of the powers of darkness, make it a real fight, and only men of grit, of courage, devotion, and infinite patience and perseverance, will win.
"It’s a struggle that challenges your physical, mental, and spiritual strengths, and there are many opponents. The heavy burden of ignorance, the lack of understanding of one’s goals and purpose, and the strong, active resistance from dark forces make it a genuine fight, and only those with determination, bravery, dedication, and endless patience and perseverance will succeed."
"Have I painted a discouraging picture? Am I frightening good men who might have volunteered and done well? I think not. I think the right sort of men, those who ought to volunteer, will be attracted rather than repelled by the difficulties."
Have I created a discouraging impression? Am I scaring off decent men who might have stepped up and succeeded? I don’t believe so. I think the right kind of men, the ones who should volunteer, will be drawn to rather than pushed away by the challenges.

It is too soon to write about any of those who have listened during the past few months, but we put this photo in to remind you to remember those who are freer than most women in India to follow the Lord Jesus Christ, if only they would let His love have a chance of drawing them. We have been to the various towns in this and the upper curve of the mountains, but we have not reached the lower curve towns, or half of the many villages scattered close under the mountains, and, except when we went out in camp, we have not of course touched those farther afield.
It’s too early to talk about everyone who has listened over the past few months, but we included this photo to remind you to think of those who have more freedom than most women in India to follow the Lord Jesus Christ, if only they would allow His love to have a chance at reaching them. We’ve visited various towns here and in the upper part of the mountains, but we haven’t yet made it to the lower towns or a lot of the many villages that are scattered close to the mountains. And, except for when we went out camping, we obviously haven’t reached areas that are farther away.
There are only five working afternoons in a week, for Saturday is given up to other things, and Sunday belongs to the Christians; and when any interest is shown, we return again to the same village, which delays us, but is certainly worth while. Then there are interruptions—sometimes on the Hindu side; festivals, for instance, when no woman has time to hear; and on ours, and on the weather's, so to speak, when great heat or great rain make outdoor work impossible. Theoretically, itinerating is delightfully rapid; but practically, as every itinerating missionary knows, it is quite slow. There are other things to be done; those already brought in have to be taught and trained and mothered, and[147] much time has to be spent in waiting upon God for more; so that, looking back, we seem to have done very little for the thousands about us, and now we must return to the eastern side of the district, for some of the boy converts are there at school, and there may be fruit to gather in after last year's sowing.
There are only five working afternoons in a week, since Saturday is reserved for other activities, and Sunday is for the Christians. When there's any interest shown, we head back to the same village, which slows us down, but it’s definitely worth it. Then there are interruptions—sometimes from the Hindu side; like during festivals when no women have time to listen; and on our side, and because of the weather, when extreme heat or heavy rain makes outdoor work impossible. Theoretically, traveling around is supposed to be quick, but practically, as every traveling missionary knows, it’s quite slow. There are other tasks to handle; those we've already brought in need teaching, training, and support, and a lot of time has to be spent waiting on God for more. Looking back, it seems we've done very little for the thousands around us, and now we need to return to the eastern part of the district because some of the boy converts are in school there, and there may be fruits to harvest from last year's planting.
But I look up from my writing and see a stretch of mountain range thirty miles long, and this range stretches unbroken for a thousand miles to the North. I know how little is being done on the plains below, and I wonder when God's people will awake, and understand that there is yet very much land to be possessed, and arise and possess it. Look down this mountain strip with me; there are towns where work is being done, but it needs supervision, and the missionaries are too few to do it thoroughly. There are towns and numbers of villages where nothing is even attempted, except that once in two years, if possible, the Men's Itinerant Band comes round; but that does not reach the women well, and even if it did, how much would you know of Jesus if you only heard a parable or a miracle or a few facts from His life or a few points of His doctrine once in two years? I do not want to write touching appeals, or to draw one worker from anywhere else,—it would be a joy to know that God used these letters to help to send someone to China, or anywhere where He has need of His workers,—but I cannot help wondering, as I look round this bit of the field, how it is that the workers are still so few.
But I look up from my writing and see a stretch of mountains that’s thirty miles long, and this range continues unbroken for a thousand miles to the North. I know how little is being done on the plains below, and I wonder when God's people will wake up and realize that there is still so much land to be taken, and rise to claim it. Look down this mountain strip with me; there are towns where work is happening, but it needs supervision, and there aren’t enough missionaries to do it all. There are towns and countless villages where nothing is even attempted, except that once every two years, if possible, the Men's Itinerant Band comes around; but that doesn’t reach the women well, and even if it did, how much would you really understand about Jesus if you only heard a parable, a miracle, or a few facts from His life or a couple points of His teachings once every two years? I don’t want to write emotional appeals or take one worker from anywhere else— it would be great to know that God used these letters to help send someone to China, or anywhere He needs workers—but I can’t help but wonder, as I look around this part of the field, why the workers are still so few.
We have found the people in the towns and villages willing to let us do what we call "verandah work" when[148] they will not let us into their houses. Verandah work, like open-air preaching, is unsatisfactory as regards the women, but it is better than nothing.
We’ve discovered that people in towns and villages are open to letting us do what we refer to as "verandah work" when[148] they won’t allow us into their homes. Verandah work, similar to outdoor preaching, isn’t ideal for engaging with women, but it’s definitely better than nothing.
We spent an afternoon in the street this photo shows. It is a thoroughfare, and so we were not forbidden; but even so, we always ask permission before we walk down it. Such an ordinary, commonplace street it looks to you; there is no architectural grandeur to awe the beholder, and impress him with the majesty of Brahmanhood; and yet that street, and every street like it, is a very Petra to us, for it is walled round by walls higher and stronger than the temple walls round which it is built; walls built, as it seems, of some crystal rock, imperceptible till you come up to it, and even then not visible, only recognisable as something you cannot get through.
We spent an afternoon on the street shown in this photo. It’s a main road, so we weren’t prohibited from using it; but we still always ask for permission before walking down it. To you, it looks like an ordinary, everyday street; there’s no impressive architecture to inspire awe or convey the majesty of Brahmanhood. Yet that street, and every similar one, is like a hidden treasure to us, surrounded by walls that are taller and stronger than the temple walls that enclose it. These walls seem to be made of some invisible crystal, only noticeable when you approach them, and even then, they can’t be seen, just felt as something you can’t get through.
Our first day there was encouraging. We began at the far end of the street, and after some persuasion the men agreed to move to one side, and let us have the other for any women who would come. Nothing particular happened, but we count a day good if we get a single good chance to speak in quietness to the women.
Our first day there was promising. We started at the end of the street, and after some convincing, the guys agreed to step aside and let us have the other side for any women who would come. Nothing special happened, but we consider a day successful if we get even one good opportunity to talk quietly with the women.
Next time we went it was not so good. They had heard in the meantime all about us, and that we had girls from the higher Castes with us, and this was terrible in their eyes. For the Brahman, from his lofty position of absolute supremacy, holds in very small account the souls of those he calls low-caste; but if any from the middle distance (he would not describe them as near himself, only dangerously nearer than the others) "fall into the pit of the Christian religion," he thinks it is[149] time to begin to take care that the Power which took such effect on them should not have a chance to perform upon him, and, above all, upon his womankind. So that day we were politely informed that no one had time to listen, and, when some women wanted to come, a muscular widow chased them off. We looked longingly back at those dear Brahman women, but appeal was useless, so we went.
Next time we went, it wasn't as good. They had heard all about us in the meantime and that we had girls from the higher castes with us, which was terrible in their eyes. The Brahman, from his high position of absolute superiority, thinks very little of the souls of those he calls low-caste; but if anyone from the middle distance (he wouldn’t describe them as close to him, just dangerously closer than the others) "falls into the pit of the Christian religion," he thinks it’s time to start being careful that the power which had such an effect on them doesn't have a chance to take hold of him, and especially of his women. So that day, we were politely told that no one had time to listen, and when some women wanted to join us, a strong widow chased them off. We looked longingly back at those dear Brahman women, but our pleas were useless, so we left.
In one of the other Castes, the Caste represented by this row of men, we found more friendliness; they let us sit on one end of the narrow verandah fronts, and quite a number of women clustered about on the other. They were greatly afraid of defilement there, and would not come too close. And they had the strangest ideas about us. They were sure we had a powder which, if they inhaled it, would compel them to be Christians. They had heard that we went round "calling children," that is, beckoning them, and drawing them to follow after us, and that we were paid so much a head for converts. It takes a whole afternoon sometimes simply to disabuse their minds of such misconceptions.
In one of the other Castes, represented by this row of men, we found more friendliness; they allowed us to sit at one end of the narrow verandah while a number of women gathered at the other end. They were very concerned about contamination and wouldn’t come too close. They held the strangest beliefs about us. They were convinced we had a powder that, if they breathed it in, would force them to become Christians. They had heard that we went around "calling children," meaning beckoning them and getting them to follow us, and that we were paid per head for each convert. It often takes an entire afternoon just to correct their misconceptions.
I heard this commercial aspect of things explained by one who apparently knew. A kindly old Brahman woman had allowed us to sit on her doorstep out of the sun, and bit by bit we had worked our way to the end of the verandah, which was a little more shaded, where a girl was sitting alone who seemed to want to hear. The old woman sat down behind us, and then an old man came up, and the two began to talk. Said the old woman to the old man, "She is trying to make us join her Way." (I had carefully abstained from any such[150] expression.) The old man agreed that such was my probable object. "What will she get if we join? Do you know?" "Oh yes; do I not know! For one of us a thousand rupees, and for a Vellalar five hundred. She even gets something for a low-caste child, but she gets a whole thousand for one of us!"
I heard this commercial side of things explained by someone who clearly understood. A kind old Brahman woman had let us sit on her doorstep to stay out of the sun, and gradually we made our way to the end of the verandah, which was a bit more shaded, where a girl was sitting alone, seeming eager to listen. The old woman settled down behind us, and then an old man approached, and they started talking. The old woman said to the old man, "She’s trying to get us to join her Way." (I had intentionally avoided any such expression.) The old man agreed that this was likely my goal. "What does she gain if we join? Do you know?" "Oh yes; I certainly do! For one of us, it's a thousand rupees, and for a Vellalar, it's five hundred. She even gets something for a low-caste child, but she gets a whole thousand for one of us!"

They were both very interested in this conversation, and so indeed was I, and I thought I would further enlighten them, when the old woman got up in a hurry and hobbled into the house. After that, whenever we passed, she used to shake her head at us, and say, "Chee, chee!" No persuasions could ever induce her to let us sit on her doorstep again. We were clearly after that thousand rupees, and she would have none of us.
They were both really into this conversation, and I was too, so I thought I would share more with them when the old woman suddenly got up and hurried into the house. After that, every time we walked by, she would shake her head at us and say, "Chee, chee!" No amount of convincing could make her let us sit on her doorstep again. It was obvious after that we were after that thousand rupees, and she wanted nothing to do with us.
In the same village there was a little Brahman child who often tried to speak to us, but never was allowed. One day she risked capture and its consequences, and ran across the narrow stream which divides the Brahman street from the village, and spoke to one of our Band in a hurried little whisper. "Oh, I do want to hear about Jesus!" And she told how she had learnt at school in her own town, and then she had been sent to her mother-in-law's house in this jungle village, "that one," pointing to a house where they never had smiles for us; but her mother-in-law objected to the preaching, and had threatened to throw her down the well if she listened to us. Just then a hard voice called her, and she flew. Next time we went to that village she was shut up somewhere inside.
In the same village, there was a little Brahman girl who often tried to talk to us but was never allowed to. One day, she took a chance and ran across the narrow stream that separates the Brahman street from the village, and whispered to one of our group in a hurried tone, "Oh, I really want to hear about Jesus!" She explained how she had learned about Him at school in her own town and then had been sent to live with her mother-in-law in this jungle village, "that one," she pointed to a house where people never smiled at us. But her mother-in-law didn't approve of the preaching and had even threatened to throw her down the well if she listened to us. Just then, a harsh voice called for her, and she ran off. The next time we visited that village, she was locked away somewhere inside.
Often as one passes one sees shy faces looking out from behind the little pillars which support the verandahs, and[151] one longs to get nearer. But it does not do to make any advance unless one is sure of one's ground. It only results in a sudden startled scurrying into the house, and you cannot follow them there. To try to do so would be more than rude—it would be considered pollution.
Often as you walk by, you see shy faces peeking out from behind the little columns supporting the verandahs, and[151] you feel a strong urge to get closer. But it’s wise not to make any moves unless you’re certain of the situation. Doing so only causes a sudden, startled rush back into the house, and you can’t follow them inside. Trying to do so would be not just rude—it would be seen as inappropriate.
Only yesterday we were trying to get to the women who live in the great house of the village behind the bungalow. This photo shows you the door we stood facing for ten minutes or more, first waiting, and then pleading with the old mother-in-law to let us in to the little dark room in which you may see a woman's form hiding behind the door.
Only yesterday, we were trying to reach the women living in the big house in the village behind the bungalow. This photo shows the door we stood in front of for ten minutes or more, first waiting and then begging the old mother-in-law to let us into the small dark room where you can see a woman’s figure hiding behind the door.
But we could not go to them, and they could not come to us. There were only two narrow rooms between, but the second of the two had brass water-vessels in it. If we had gone in, those vessels and the water in them would have been defiled. The women were not allowed to come out, the mother-in-law saw well to that; never was one more vigilant. She stood like a great fat hen at the door, with her white widow's skirts outspread like wings, and guarded her chickens effectually. "Go! go by the way you have come!" was all she had to say to us.
But we couldn't go to them, and they couldn't come to us. There were only two narrow rooms in between, but the second room had brass water containers in it. If we had entered, those containers and the water in them would have been contaminated. The women weren't allowed to step outside; the mother-in-law made sure of that—she was incredibly watchful. She stood like a large hen at the door, her white widow's skirts spread out like wings, effectively guarding her chicks. "Go! Go back the way you came!" was all she had to say to us.
The friendly old man of the house was out. A friendly young man came in with some rice, and began to measure it. He invited us to sit down, which we did, and he measured the rice in little iron tumblers, counting aloud as he did so in a sing-song chant. He was pleased that we should watch him, and it was interesting to watch, for he did it exactly as the verse describes, pressing the rice down, shaking the iron measure, heaping up the rice till it was running over, and yet counting this abundant[152] tumblerful only as one; then he handed the basketful of rice to a child who stood waiting, and asked what he could do for us. We told him how much we wanted to see the women of the house, but he did not relish the idea of tackling the vigorous old mother-in-law, so we gave up the attempt, and went out. As we passed the wall at the back which encloses the women's quarters, we saw a girl look over the wall as if she wanted to speak to us, but she was instantly pulled back by that tyrannical dame, and a dog came jumping over, barking most furiously, which set a dozen more yelping all about us, and so escorted we retired.
The friendly old man of the house was out. A friendly young man came in with some rice and started measuring it. He invited us to sit down, which we did, and he measured the rice in little iron cups, counting out loud in a sing-song rhythm. He was happy that we were watching him, and it was interesting to see, as he did exactly as the verse says, pressing the rice down, shaking the iron measure, heaping the rice until it was overflowing, yet counting this abundant [152] cupful as just one; then he handed the basket of rice to a child who was waiting, and asked how he could help us. We told him we wanted to see the women of the house, but he wasn’t keen on confronting the strong old mother-in-law, so we gave up the idea and left. As we walked past the back wall that encloses the women's quarters, we saw a girl peek over the wall as if she wanted to talk to us, but she was quickly pulled back by that overbearing woman, and then a dog jumped over, barking furiously, which set off a dozen more barking around us, and so we left.
This house is in the Village of the Merchant, not five minutes from our gate, but the women in it are far enough from any chance of hearing. The men let us in that day to take the photograph, and we hoped thereby to make friends; but though there are six families living there (for the house is large; the photograph only shows one end of the verandah which runs down its whole length), we have never been once allowed to speak to one of the women; the mother-in-law of all the six takes care we never get the chance. One of the children, a dear little girl, follows us outside sometimes, but she is only seven, and not very courageous; so, though she evidently picks up some of the choruses we sing, she is afraid of being seen listening, and never gets much at a time.
This house is in the Village of the Merchant, just five minutes from our gate, but the women inside are far enough away that they can’t hear us. The men let us in that day to take a photo, and we hoped to make friends that way; however, even though six families live there (the house is big; the photo only shows one end of the long verandah), we've never been able to talk to any of the women; the mother-in-law of all six makes sure we never get the chance. One of the kids, a sweet little girl, sometimes follows us outside, but she’s only seven and not very brave; so, even though she seems to pick up some of the songs we sing, she’s scared of being caught listening and never gets to hear much at once.
These are some of the practical difficulties in the way of reaching the women. There are others. Suppose you do get in, or, what is more probable in pioneer work, suppose you get a verandah, even then it is not plain[153] sailing by any means. For, first of all, it is dangerously hot. The sun beats down on the street or courtyard to within a foot or two of the stone ledge you are sitting upon, and strikes up. Reflected glare means fever, so you try to edge a little farther out of it without disturbing anyone's feelings, explaining minutely why you are doing it, lest they should think your design is to covertly touch them; and then, their confidence won so far, you begin perhaps with the wordless book, or a lyric set to an Indian tune, or a picture of some parable—never of our Lord—or, oftener still, we find the best way is to open our Bibles, for they all respect a Sacred Book, and read something from it which we know they will understand. We generally find one or two women about the verandahs, and two or three more come within a few minutes, and seeing this, two or three more. But getting them and keeping them are two different things. It is not easy to hold people to hear what they have no special desire to hear. But we are helped; we are not alone. It is always a strength to remember that.
These are some of the practical challenges in reaching the women. There are more. Let's say you do get in, or, more likely in pioneering work, maybe you get a verandah; even then, it’s not plain sailing at all. First of all, it's dangerously hot. The sun beats down on the street or courtyard just a foot or two away from the stone ledge you’re sitting on, and reflects back up. That glare can cause fever, so you try to shift a bit further out of it without upsetting anyone, explaining in detail why you're doing it to avoid them thinking you want to touch them; and once you've gained their trust, you might start with the wordless book, or a song set to an Indian tune, or a picture of some parable—never of our Lord—or, more often than not, we find the best approach is to open our Bibles, since everyone respects a Sacred Book, and read something from it that we know they will understand. We usually find one or two women around the verandahs, and a few more come within minutes, and once they see this, two or three more join in. But getting them to stay is a different story. It’s not easy to keep people engaged to hear something they don’t particularly want to hear. But we are supported; we are not alone. It’s always a relief to remember that.
Once fairly launched, interruptions begin. You are in the middle of a miracle, perhaps, and by this time a dozen women have gathered, and rejoice your heart by listening well, when a man from the opposite side of the street saunters over and asks may he put a question, or asks it forthwith. He has heard that our Book says, that if you have faith you can lift a mountain into the sea. Now, there is a mountain, and he points to the pillar out on the plain, standing straight up for five thousand feet, a column of solid rock. There is sea on the other side, he says; cast it in, and we will[154] believe! And the women laugh. But one more intelligent turns to you, "Does your Book really say that?" she asks, "then why can't you do it, and let us see?" And the man strikes in with another remark, and a woman at the edge moves off, and you wish the man would go.
Once you get started, the interruptions begin. You’re in the middle of something amazing, and by now, a dozen women have gathered and are cheering you on by listening intently, when a man from across the street wanders over and asks if he can pose a question, or he just comes out and asks it. He’s heard that our Book says if you have faith, you can move a mountain into the sea. Now, there’s a mountain, and he points to the pillar standing tall in the plain, rising straight up for five thousand feet, a solid rock column. There’s sea on the other side, he says; throw it in, and we’ll believe! And the women laugh. But one smarter woman turns to you, "Does your Book really say that?" she asks, "then why can’t you do it, and let us see?" And the man jumps in with another comment, and a woman at the edge walks away, and you wish the man would leave too.
Perhaps he does, or perhaps you are able to detach him from the visible, and get him and those women too to listen to some bit of witnessing to the Power that moves the invisible, and you are in its very heart when another objection is started: "You say there is only one true God, but we have heard that you worship three!" or, "Can your God keep you from sin?" And you try, God helping you, to answer so as to avoid discussion, and perhaps to your joy succeed, and some are listening intently again, when a woman interrupts with a question about your relations which you answered before, but she came late, and wants to hear it all over again. You satisfy her as far as you can, and then, feeling how fast the precious minutes are passing, you try, oh so earnestly, to buy them up and fill them with eternity work, when suddenly the whole community concentrates itself upon your Tamil sister. Who is she? You had waived the question at the outset, knowing what would sequel it, but they renew the charge. If she is a "born Christian," they exclaim, and draw away for fear of defilement—"Low-caste, low-caste!" and the word runs round contemptuously. If she is a convert, they ask questions about her relations (they have probably been guessing among themselves about her Caste for the last ten minutes); if she does not answer[155] them, they let their imagination run riot; if she does, they break out in indignation, "Left your own mother! Broken your Caste!" and they call her by names not sweet to the ear, and perhaps rise up in a body, and refuse to have anything more to do with such a disgraceful person.
Maybe he does, or maybe you can separate him from the visible, and get him and those women to listen to some testimony about the Power that drives the invisible. You’re right at its core when another objection pops up: “You say there’s only one true God, but we’ve heard you worship three!” or “Can your God keep you from sin?” And you try, with God’s help, to respond in a way that avoids debate, and maybe, to your delight, you succeed. Some people start listening intently again when a woman interrupts with a question about your relationships that you’ve already answered, but she came in late and wants to hear it all again. You do your best to satisfy her, and then, feeling how quickly the precious minutes are slipping away, you try so earnestly to make the most of them and fill them with eternal work, when suddenly the whole community turns its attention to your Tamil sister. Who is she? You had brushed off the question at the beginning, knowing what would follow, but they press the issue again. If she’s a “born Christian,” they exclaim, stepping back in fear of contamination—“Low-caste, low-caste!” and the word spreads around with disdain. If she’s a convert, they ask questions about her family (they’ve probably been speculating about her caste for the last ten minutes); if she doesn’t answer them, their imaginations run wild; if she does, they erupt in outrage, “Left your own mother! Broken your caste!” and they call her names that aren’t pleasant to hear, and may even rise up as a group to refuse to associate with such a disgraceful person.
Or perhaps you are trying to persuade some of them to learn to read, knowing that, if you can succeed, there will be so much more chance of teaching them, but they assure you it is not the custom for women in that village to read, which unhappily is true; or it may be you are telling them, as you tell those you may never see again, of the Love that is loving them, and in the middle of the telling a baby howls, and all the attention goes off upon it; or somebody wants to go into the house, and a way has to be made for her, with much gathering together and confusion; or a dog comes yelping round the corner, with a stone at its heels, and a pack of small boys in full chase after it; or the men call out it is time to be going; or the women suggest it is time to be cooking; or someone says or does something upsetting, and the group breaks up in a moment, and each unit makes for its separate hole, and stands in it, looking out; and you look up at those dark little doorways, and feel you would give anything they could ask, if only they would let you in, and let you sit down beside them in one of those rooms, and tell them the end of the story they interrupted; but they will not do that. Oh, it makes one sorrowful to be so near to anyone, and yet so very far, as one sometimes is from these women. You look at them, as they stand in their[156] doorways, within reach, but out of reach, as out of reach as if they were thousands of miles away. . . .
Or maybe you’re trying to convince some of them to learn to read, knowing that if you succeed, it’ll be much easier to teach them. But they tell you it’s not common for women in that village to read, which sadly is true. Or perhaps you’re sharing with them, as you do with those you might never see again, about the Love that cares for them, and in the middle of your story, a baby cries, stealing everyone’s attention; or someone wants to go inside the house, and you have to make space for her, causing a bit of chaos; or a dog comes running around the corner, yelping with a stone chasing it, followed by a group of little boys in hot pursuit; or the men shout that it’s time to leave; or the women suggest it’s time to start cooking; or someone says or does something disruptive, and suddenly the group breaks apart, with each person heading to their own space, standing there, looking out; and you gaze up at those dark little doorways and feel you’d give anything they asked if only they would let you in, to sit beside them in one of those rooms, and finish the story they interrupted; but they won’t. It’s heartbreaking to be so close to someone and yet so far away, as you sometimes feel from these women. You watch them as they stand in their [156] doorways, within reach, yet completely out of reach, as if they were thousands of miles away. …
Just as I wrote those words a Brahman woman came to the door and looked in. Then she walked in and sat down, but did not speak. Can you think how one's heart bounds even at such a little thing as that? Brahman women do not come to see us every day. She pulled out a book of palm-leaf slips, and we read it. It told how she was one of a family of seven, all born deaf and dumb; how hand in hand they had set off to walk to Benares to drown themselves in the Ganges; how a Sepoy had stopped them and taken them to an English Collector; how he had provided for the seven for a year, then let them go; how they had scattered and wandered about, visiting various holy places, supported by the virtuous wherever they went; and how the bearer would be glad to receive whatever we would give her. . . . She has gone, a poor deaf and dumb and wholly heathen woman; we could not persuade her to stay and rest. She is married, she told us by signs; her husband is deaf and dumb, and she has one blind child. She sat on the floor beside us for a few minutes and asked questions—the usual ones, about me, all by signs; but nothing we could sign could in any way make her understand anything about our God. And yet she seems to know something at least about her own. She pointed to her mouth, and then up, and then down and round, to show the winding of a river, and signed clearly enough how she went from holy river to holy river, and worshipped by each, and she pointed up and clasped her hands. There we were, just as I[157] had been writing, so near to her, yet so far from her.
Just as I was writing those words, a Brahman woman came to the door and peeked inside. Then she walked in and sat down without saying anything. Can you imagine how your heart races even at something as small as that? Brahman women don’t visit us every day. She took out a book made of palm-leaf slips, and we read it. It explained that she was part of a family of seven, all born deaf and mute; how they had set off together to walk to Benares to drown themselves in the Ganges; how a soldier had stopped them and taken them to an English Collector; how he had taken care of the seven for a year before letting them go; how they had scattered and wandered around, visiting various holy places, supported by the kind-hearted wherever they went; and how the bearer would appreciate whatever we could give her. . . . She has left, a poor deaf and mute and completely pagan woman; we couldn’t persuade her to stay and rest. She signed to us that she is married; her husband is also deaf and mute, and she has one blind child. She sat on the floor next to us for a few minutes and asked questions—the usual ones about me, all through sign language; but nothing we could sign could help her understand anything about our God. Yet she seems to have some knowledge about her own. She pointed to her mouth, then upwards, then downwards and around, to show the path of a river, and signed clearly how she traveled from holy river to holy river, worshiping at each one, and she pointed up and clasped her hands. There we were, just as I[157] had been writing, so close to her, yet so distant from her.
But the greatest difficulty of all in reaching the women is that they have no desire to be reached. Sometimes, as on that afternoon when the child came and wanted to hear, we find one who has desire, but the greater number have none; and except in the more advanced towns and villages, where they are allowed to learn with a Bible-woman, they have hardly a chance to hear enough to make them want to hear more.
But the biggest challenge in connecting with women is that they don't want to be reached. Sometimes, like that afternoon when the child wanted to listen, we find someone who is eager, but most don’t feel that way; and except in more progressive towns and villages, where they can learn from a Bible-woman, they hardly get the opportunity to hear enough to spark their interest in wanting to hear more.
Then, as if to make the case doubly hard (and this law applies to every woman, of whatever Caste), she is, in the eyes of the law, the property of her husband; and though a Christian cannot by law compel his Hindu wife to live with him, a Hindu husband can compel his Christian wife to live with him; so that no married woman is ever legally free to be a Christian, for if the husband demanded her back, she could not be protected, but would have to be given up to a life which no English woman could bear to contemplate. She may say she is a Christian; he cares nought for what she says. God help the woman thus forced back!
Then, as if to make the situation even harder (and this applies to every woman, regardless of her background), she is legally considered her husband's property; and while a Christian man cannot legally force his Hindu wife to stay with him, a Hindu husband can force his Christian wife to stay with him. This means that no married woman is ever truly free to be a Christian because if her husband demanded her back, she wouldn’t be protected and would have to return to a life that no English woman could imagine enduring. She might claim to be a Christian; he doesn't care about what she claims. God help the woman who is forced back!
But, believing a higher Power will step in than the power of this most unjust law, we would risk any penalty and receive such a wife should she come. Only, in dealing with the difficulties and barriers which lie between an Indian woman and life as a free Christian, it is useless to shut one's eyes to this last and least comprehensible of all difficulties, "an English law, imported into India, and enforced with imprisonment," an obsolete English law!
But, believing that a higher power will intervene instead of this incredibly unjust law, we would take any risk and welcome such a wife if she comes. However, when faced with the challenges and obstacles between an Indian woman and her life as a free Christian, it's pointless to ignore this final and most confusing difficulty: "an English law, brought into India, and enforced with imprisonment," an outdated English law!
We have no Brahman women converts in our Tamil[158] Mission. We hear of a few in Travancore; we know of more in the North, where the Brahmans are more numerous and less exclusive; but there is not a single bonâ fide Brahman convert woman or child in the whole of this District. There was one, a very old woman; but she died two years ago. We may comfort ourselves with the thought that surely some of those who have heard have become secret believers. But will a true believer remain secret always? We may trust that many a dear little child died young, loving Jesus, and went to Him. But what about those who have not died young? I know that a brighter view may be taken, and if the sadder has been emphasised in these letters, it is only because we feel you know less about it.
We have no Brahman women converts in our Tamil[158] Mission. We hear about a few in Travancore; we know of more in the North, where the Brahmans are more numerous and less exclusive; but there isn't a single bonâ fide Brahman convert woman or child in the entire District. There was one, a very old woman; but she passed away two years ago. We might find comfort in thinking that some of those who have heard the message have become secret believers. But will a true believer always stay secret? We can trust that many precious little children died young, loving Jesus, and went to Him. But what about those who haven't died young? I know a more positive perspective could be taken, and if the more negative has been emphasized in these letters, it’s just because we feel you might know less about it.
For more has been written about the successes than about the failures, and it seems to us that it is more important that you should know about the reverses than about the successes of the war. We shall have all eternity to celebrate the victories, but we have only the few hours before sunset in which to win them. We are not winning them as we should, because the fact of the reverses is so little realised, and the needed reinforcements are not forthcoming, as they would be if the position were thoroughly understood. Reinforcements of men and women are needed, but, far above all, reinforcements of prayer. And so we have tried to tell you the truth—the uninteresting, unromantic truth—about the heathen as we find them, the work as it is. More workers are needed. No words can tell how much they are needed, how much they are wanted here. But we will never try to allure anyone to think of coming[159] by painting coloured pictures, when the facts are in black and white. What if black and white will never attract like colours? We care not for it; our business is to tell the truth. The work is not a pretty thing, to be looked at and admired. It is a fight. And battlefields are not beautiful.
For more has been written about the successes than about the failures, and it seems to us that it’s more important for you to know about the setbacks than about the victories of the war. We’ll have all eternity to celebrate the wins, but we only have a few hours before sunset to achieve them. We’re not achieving them as we should because the reality of the setbacks is not fully understood, and the necessary reinforcements are not coming as they would if the situation were completely clear. We need reinforcements of both men and women, but above all, we need reinforcements of prayer. So, we’ve tried to tell you the truth—the dull, unexciting truth—about the people we’re working with and the situation as it is. More workers are needed. No words can express how much they are needed, how much they are wanted here. But we will never try to entice anyone to think about coming[159] by painting colorful pictures when the facts are so stark. What if stark truths don’t attract like vibrant colors? We don’t care about that; our job is to tell the truth. The work isn’t something pretty that you can simply admire. It’s a battle. And battlefields aren’t beautiful.
But if one is truly called of God, all the difficulties and discouragements only intensify the Call. If things were easier there would be less need. The greater the need, the clearer the Call rings through one, the deeper the conviction grows: it was God's Call. And as one obeys it, there is the joy of obedience, quite apart from the joy of success. There is joy in being with Jesus in a place where His friends are few; and sometimes, when one would least expect it, coming home tired out and disheartened after a day in an opposing or indifferent town, suddenly—how, you can hardly tell—such a wave of the joy of Jesus flows over you and through you, that you are stilled with the sense of utter joy. Then, when you see Him winning souls, or hear of your comrades' victories, oh! all that is within you sings, "I have more than an overweight of joy!"
But if someone is genuinely called by God, all the challenges and setbacks only strengthen that Call. If things were easier, there would be less of a need. The greater the need, the clearer the Call resonates within you, the deeper the conviction grows: it was God's Call. And as you respond to it, there is joy in obedience, separate from the joy of success. There is joy in being with Jesus in a place where His friends are few; and sometimes, when you least expect it, coming home exhausted and discouraged after a day in an unfriendly or indifferent town, suddenly—how, you can hardly explain—such a wave of the joy of Jesus washes over you and through you, that you are filled with a sense of pure joy. Then, when you see Him saving souls, or hear about your friends' victories, oh! all that is within you sings, "I have more than enough joy!"
CHAPTER XIX
"Attracted by the Influence"
"It seems to have been a mistake to imagine that the Divine Majesty on high was too exalted to take any notice of our mean affairs. The great minds among us are remarkable for the attention they bestow upon minutiæ . . . 'a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without your Father.'"
"It seems it was a mistake to think that the Divine Majesty above was too high to care about our small issues. The great thinkers among us are known for the focus they give to the details... 'not even a sparrow falls to the ground without your Father.'"

There is a temple in the Hindu village near us. We have often tried to reach the temple women, poor slaves of the Brahmans. We have often seen the little girls, some of them bought as infants from their mothers, and trained to the terrible life. In one of the Mission day schools there is a child who was sold by her "Christian" mother to these Servants of the gods; but though this is known it cannot be proved, and the child has no wish to leave the life, and she cannot be taken by force.
There’s a temple in the Hindu village near us. We’ve often tried to connect with the temple women, who are unfortunate slaves of the Brahmans. We’ve seen the little girls, some of whom were bought as infants from their mothers and trained for this harsh life. In one of the Mission day schools, there’s a child who was sold by her “Christian” mother to these Servants of the gods; but even though this is known, it can't be proven, and the child has no desire to leave this life, nor can she be taken by force.
Sometimes we see the little girls playing in the courtyards of the houses near the temple, gracious little maidens, winsome in their ways, almost always more refined in manner than ordinary children, and often[161] beautiful. One longs to help the little things, but no hand of ours can stretch over the wall and lift even one child out.
Sometimes we see the little girls playing in the courtyards of the houses near the temple, charming young girls, delightful in their actions, almost always more polished in behavior than typical children, and often[161] beautiful. One wishes they could help the little ones, but no hand of ours can reach over the wall and lift even one child out.
Among the little temple girls in the Great Lake Village was a tiny girl called Pearl-eyes, of whom we knew nothing; but God must have some purpose for her, for He sent His Angel to the house one afternoon, and the Angel found little Pearl-eyes, and he took her by the hand and led her out, across the stream, and through the wood, to a Christian woman's house in our village. Next morning she brought her to us. This is what really happened, I think; there is no other way to account for it. No one remembers such a thing happening here before.
Among the little temple girls in Great Lake Village was a small girl named Pearl-eyes, about whom we knew nothing; but God must have had a purpose for her because He sent His Angel to the house one afternoon. The Angel found little Pearl-eyes, took her by the hand, and led her out across the stream and through the woods to a Christian woman's house in our village. The next morning, she brought her to us. This is what really happened, I believe; there’s no other explanation for it. No one recalls anything like this happening here before.
I was sitting reading in the verandah when I saw them come. The woman was looking surprised. She did not know about the Angel, I expect, and she could not understand it at all. The little child was chattering away, lifting up a bright little face as she talked. When she saw me she ran straight up to me, and climbed on my knee without the least fear, and told me all about herself at once. I took her to the Iyer, and he sent for the Pastor, who sent a messenger to the Village of the Lake, to say the child was here, and to inquire into the truth of her story.
I was sitting on the porch reading when I saw them arrive. The woman looked surprised. She probably didn’t know about the Angel, and she couldn’t understand it at all. The little child was chattering away, lifting her bright little face as she talked. When she saw me, she ran straight up to me and climbed onto my lap without any fear, immediately telling me all about herself. I took her to the Iyer, and he called for the Pastor, who sent a messenger to the Village of the Lake to let them know the child was here and to find out if her story was true.
"My name is Pearl-eyes," the child began, "and I want to stay here always. I have come to stay." And she told us how her mother had sold her when she was a baby to the Servants of the gods. She was not happy with them. They did not love her. Nobody loved her. She wanted to live with us.
"My name is Pearl-eyes," the child started, "and I want to stay here forever. I’ve come to stay." And she shared with us how her mother had sold her when she was a baby to the Servants of the gods. She wasn’t happy with them. They didn’t love her. Nobody loved her. She wanted to live with us.
But why had she run away now? She hardly seemed[162] to know, and looked puzzled at our questions. The only thing she was sure about was that she had "run and come," and that she "wanted to stay." Then the Ammal came in, and she went through exactly the same story with her.
But why had she run away now? She barely seemed[162] to know, and looked confused at our questions. The only thing she was certain about was that she had "run and come," and that she "wanted to stay." Then the Ammal came in, and she went through exactly the same story with her.
We felt, if this proved to be fact, that we could surely keep her; the Government would be on our side in such a matter. Only the great difficulty might be to prove it.
We thought that if this turned out to be true, we could definitely keep her; the government would support us in this situation. The only real challenge would be proving it.
Meanwhile we gave her a doll, and her little heart was at rest. She did not seem to have a fear. With the prettiest, most confiding little gesture, she sat down at our feet and began to play with it.
Meanwhile, we gave her a doll, and her little heart was at ease. She didn’t seem to have a worry. With the sweetest, most trusting little gesture, she sat down at our feet and started to play with it.
We watched her wonderingly. She was perfectly at home with us. She ran out, gathered leaves and flowers, and came back with them. These were carefully arranged in rows on the floor. Then another expedition, and in again with three pebbles for hearthstones, a shell for a cooking pot, bits of straw for firewood, a stick for a match, and sand for rice.
We watched her with curiosity. She felt completely at home with us. She ran outside, collected leaves and flowers, and returned with them. These were neatly lined up on the floor. Then she went out again and came back with three pebbles for hearthstones, a shell for a cooking pot, pieces of straw for firewood, a stick for a match, and sand for rice.
She went through all the minutiæ of Tamil cookery with the greatest seriousness. Then we, together with her doll, were invited to partake. The little thing walked straight into our hearts, and we felt we would risk anything to keep her.
She took all the details of Tamil cooking very seriously. Then we, along with her doll, were invited to join in. The little doll walked right into our hearts, and we felt we would do anything to keep her.
Our messenger returned. The story was true. The women from whose house she had come were certainly temple women. But would they admit it to us, and, above all, would they admit they had obtained her illegally?—a fact easy to deny. Almost upon this they came; and to the Iyer's question, "Who are you?" one said, "We are Servants of the gods!" I heard an instructive[163] aside, "Why did you tell them?" "Oh, never mind," said the one who had answered, "they don't understand!" But we had understood, and we were thankful for the first point gained.
Our messenger came back. The story was true. The women from whose house she had come were definitely temple women. But would they admit it to us, and, more importantly, would they confess they had gotten her illegally?—a fact that's easy to deny. Almost right away they showed up; and when the Iyer asked, "Who are you?" one replied, "We are Servants of the gods!" I overheard an interesting[163] side conversation, "Why did you tell them?" "Oh, never mind," said the one who had answered, "they don't understand!" But we understood, and we were grateful for the first point gained.
They stood and stared and called the child, but she would not go, and we would not force her. Then they went away, and we were left for an hour in that curious quiet which comes before a storm. Our poor little girl was frightened. "Oh, if they come again, hide me!" she begged. One saw it was almost too much for her, high-spirited child though she is.
They stood and stared and called the girl, but she wouldn’t go, and we wouldn’t force her. Then they left, and we were alone for an hour in that strange stillness that comes before a storm. Our poor little girl was scared. "Oh, if they come back, hide me!" she pleaded. It was clear that it was almost too much for her, even though she’s such a spirited child.
The next was worse. A great crowd gathered on the verandah, and an evil-faced woman, who seemed to have some sort of power over Pearl-eyes, fiercely demanded her back. When we refused to make her go, the evil-faced woman, whose very glance sent a tremble through the little one, declared that Pearl-eyes must say out loud that she would not go with her, "Out loud so that all should hear." But the poor little thing was dumb with fear. She just stood and looked, and shivered. We could not persuade her to say a word.
The next situation was even worse. A large crowd gathered on the porch, and a sinister-looking woman, who seemed to have some kind of influence over Pearl-eyes, aggressively demanded her back. When we refused to force her to leave, the sinister woman—whose mere stare made the little one tremble—declared that Pearl-eyes needed to say out loud that she wouldn’t go with her, "Out loud so that everyone could hear." But the poor little girl was paralyzed with fear. She just stood there, looking and shivering. We couldn’t get her to say a single word.
Star was hovering near. She had been through it all herself before, and her face was anxious, and our hearts were, I know. It is impossible to describe such a half-hour's life to you; it has to be lived through to be understood. The clamour and excitement, and the feeling of how much hangs on the word of a child who does not properly understand what she is accepting or refusing. The tension is terrible.
Star was nearby. She had gone through it all herself before, and her face showed her worry, just like our hearts did. It's hard to explain what that half-hour felt like; you have to experience it to truly get it. The noise and excitement, plus the weight of everything depending on a child's decision when she doesn’t fully grasp what she’s agreeing to or turning down. The pressure is intense.
I dared not go near her lest they should think I was bewitching her. Any movement on my part towards her[164] would have been the signal for a rush on theirs; but I signed to Star to take her away for a moment. The bewilderment on the poor little face was frightening me. One more look up at that woman, one more pull at the strained cord, and to their question, "Will you come?" she might as likely say yes as no.
I didn't dare go near her for fear they would think I was casting a spell on her. Any move I made towards her[164] would have been the signal for them to rush in; but I signaled to Star to take her away for a moment. The confusion on that poor little face was scaring me. One more look up at that woman, one more tug at the stretched string, and to their question, "Will you come?" she could just as easily say yes as no.
Star carried her off. Once out of reach of those eyes, the words came fast enough. Star told me she clung to her and sobbed, "Oh, if I say no, she will catch me and punish me dreadfully afterwards! She will! I know she will!" And she showed cuts in the soft brown skin where she had been punished before; but Star soothed her and brought her back, and she stood—such a little girl—before them all. "I won't! I won't!" she cried, and she turned and ran back with Star. And the crowd went off, and I was glad to see the last of that fearful face, with its evil, cruel eyes.
Star took her away. Once we were out of sight, the words came rushing out. Star told me she held onto her and cried, "Oh, if I say no, she'll catch me and punish me really badly afterwards! She will! I know she will!" And she showed cuts on her soft brown skin where she had been punished before; but Star comforted her and brought her back, and she stood—such a little girl—before everyone. "I won't! I won't!" she shouted, and then she turned and ran back with Star. The crowd dispersed, and I was relieved to see the last of that frightening face, with its evil, cruel eyes.
But they said they would write to the mother, who had given her to them. We noted this—the second point we should have to prove if they lodged a suit against us—and any day the mother may come and complicate matters by working on the child's affections. Also, we have heard of a plot to decoy her away, should we be for a moment off guard; so we are very much on the watch, and we never let her out of our sight.
But they said they would write to the mother, who had given her to them. We noted this—the second point we would have to prove if they sued us—and any day the mother might come and complicate things by trying to influence the child's feelings. Also, we’ve heard about a plan to lure her away if we let our guard down for even a second; so we are always on alert, and we never take our eyes off her.
By this time—it is five days since she came—it seems impossible to think of having ever been without her. Apart from her story, which would touch anyone, there is her little personality, which is very interesting. She plays all day long with her precious dolls, talking to them, telling them everything we tell her. Yesterday it[165] was a Bible story, to-day a new chorus. She insisted on her best-beloved infant coming to church with her, and it had to have its collection too. Everything is most realistic.
By now—it’s been five days since she arrived—it feels impossible to remember what life was like without her. Besides her story, which would affect anyone, her little personality is quite fascinating. She spends all day playing with her beloved dolls, talking to them, sharing everything we say to her. Yesterday, it was a Bible story, and today it’s a new song. She insisted that her favorite baby come to church with her, and it had to have its own collection too. Everything feels very real.
Tamil children usually hang their dolls up by their limbs to a nail in the wall, or stow them away on a shelf, but this mite has imagination and much sympathy.
Tamil children typically hang their dolls by their limbs on a nail in the wall or tuck them away on a shelf, but this little one has creativity and a lot of empathy.
In thinking over it, as, bit by bit, her little story came to light, we have been struck by the touches that tell how God cares. The time of her coming told of care. Some months earlier, the temple woman who kept her had burnt her little fingers across, as a punishment for some childish fault, and Pearl-eyes ran away. She knew what she wanted—her mother; she knew that her mother lived in a town twenty miles to the East. It was a long way for a little girl to walk, "but some kind people found me on the road, and they were going to the same town, and they let me go with them, so I was not afraid, only I was very tired when we got there. It took three days to walk. I did not know where my mother lived in the town, and it was a very big town, but I described my mother to the people in the streets, and at last I found my mother." For just a little while there was something of the mother-love, "my mother cried." But the temple woman had traced her and followed her, and the mother gave her up.
As we reflect on her little story that gradually unfolded, we are struck by the hints that show how much God cares. The timing of her arrival spoke of that care. A few months earlier, the temple caretaker had burned her little fingers as punishment for a minor mistake, prompting Pearl-eyes to run away. She knew what she wanted—her mother; she knew her mother lived in a town twenty miles to the east. It was a long distance for a little girl to walk, "but some kind people found me on the road, and they were headed to the same town, so they let me go with them. I wasn't scared, just very tired when we finally arrived. It took me three days to walk. I didn't know where my mother lived in the town since it was really big, but I described her to people in the streets, and eventually, I found my mother." For a brief moment, there was a sense of motherly love, "my mother cried." However, the temple caretaker had tracked her down and followed her, and the mother ultimately gave her up.
Then comes a blank in the story; she only remembers she was lonely, and she "felt a mother-want about the world," and wandered wearily—
Then there's a gap in the story; all she remembers is feeling lonely and having a deep longing for motherly love in the world, and she wandered around tiredly—
Feeling a bit distant because something is missing, but what is it?
It doesn't know.
Then comes a bit of life distinct in every detail, and told with terribly unchildish horror. She heard them whisper together about her; they did not know that she understood. She was to be "married to the god," "tied to a stone." Terrified, she flew to the temple, slipped past the Brahmans, crossed the court, stood before the god in the dim half-darkness of the shrine, clasped her hands,—she showed us how,—prayed to it, pleaded, "Let me die! Oh, let me die!" Barely seven years old, and she prayed, "Oh, let me die!"
Then comes a part of life that's unique in every detail, told with a chilling, almost adult horror. She heard them whispering about her; they didn’t realize she understood. She was to be "married to the god," "bound to a stone." Terrified, she rushed to the temple, slipped past the priests, crossed the courtyard, stood before the deity in the dim shadows of the shrine, clasped her hands—just like she showed us—prayed to it, begged, "Let me die! Oh, let me die!" Barely seven years old, and she prayed, "Oh, let me die!"
She tried to run away again; if she had come to our village then, she could not have been saved. We were in Dohnavur, and there was no one here who could have protected her against the temple people. So God kept her from coming then.
She tried to run away again; if she had come to our village at that time, she wouldn’t have been saved. We were in Dohnavur, and there was no one here who could have protected her from the temple people. So God kept her from coming then.
About that time, one afternoon one of our Tamil Sisters, whom we had left behind to hold the fort, passed through the Great Lake Village, and the temple women called the child, and said, "See! It is she! The child-stealing Ammal! Run!" It was only said to frighten her, but it did a different work. One day, the day after we returned, the thought suddenly came to her, "I will go and look for that child-stealing Ammal"; and she wandered away in the twilight and came to our village, and stood alone in front of the church, and no one knew.
About that time, one afternoon, one of our Tamil Sisters, whom we had left behind to maintain things, passed through the Great Lake Village. The women at the temple called out to the child and said, "Look! It's her! The child-stealing Ammal! Run!" They only meant to scare her, but it had a different effect. One day, the day after we got back, she suddenly thought, "I’ll go look for that child-stealing Ammal," and she wandered off at twilight, made her way to our village, and stood alone in front of the church, unnoticed by anyone.
There one of our Christian women, Servant of Jesus by name, found her some time afterwards, a very small and desolate mite, with tumbled hair and troubled eyes, for she could not find the one she sought, that child-stealing Ammal she wanted so much, and she was[167] frightened, all alone in the gathering dark by this big, big church; and very big it must have looked to so tiny a thing as she.
There, one of our Christian women, named Servant of Jesus, found her sometime later, a very small and lonely girl, with messy hair and worried eyes, because she couldn’t find the one she was looking for, that child-stealing Ammal she wanted so badly. She was[167] scared, all alone in the gathering darkness by this huge, huge church; and it must have looked enormous to such a tiny thing as her.
Servant of Jesus thought at first of taking the little one back to her home, but mercifully it was late (another touch of the hand of God), and so instead she took her straight to her own little house, which satisfied Pearl-eyes perfectly. But she would not touch the curry and rice the kind woman offered her. She drew herself up to her full small height and said, with the greatest dignity, "Am I not a Vellala child? May you ask me to break my Caste?"
Servant of Jesus initially considered taking the little girl back to her home, but thankfully it was late (another sign of God's hand at work), so she brought her straight to her own small house, which pleased Pearl-eyes perfectly. However, she refused to eat the curry and rice the kind woman offered. With great dignity, she stood tall for her small stature and said, "Am I not a Vellala child? Are you asking me to break my caste?"
So Servant of Jesus gave her some sugar, that being ceremonially safe, and Pearl-eyes ate it hungrily, and then went off to sleep.
So the Servant of Jesus gave her some sugar, which was safe to eat, and Pearl-eyes devoured it eagerly before heading off to sleep.
Next morning, again the woman's first thought was to take her to her own people. But the child was so insistent that she wanted the child-catching Ammal, that Servant of Jesus, thinking I was the Ammal she meant (for this is one of my various names), brought her to me, as I have said, and oh, I am glad she did!
Next morning, the woman's first thought was again to take her to her own people. But the child was so determined that she wanted the child-catching Ammal, that the Servant of Jesus, thinking I was the Ammal she meant (since this is one of my many names), brought her to me, as I mentioned, and oh, I'm so glad she did!
Nothing escapes those clear brown eyes. That morning, in the midst of the confusion, one of the temple women called out that the child was a wicked thief. This is an ordinary charge. They think it will compel submission. "We will make out a case, and send the police to drag you off to gaol!" they yell; and sometimes there is risk of serious trouble, for a case can be made out cheaply in India. But this did not promise to be serious, so we inquired the stolen sum. It came to fourpence halfpenny, which we paid for the sake of peace, though she[168] told them where the money was, and we found out later that she had told the truth.
Nothing escapes those clear brown eyes. That morning, in the middle of the chaos, one of the temple women shouted that the child was a wicked thief. This is a common accusation. They think it will force compliance. "We'll build a case and have the police drag you off to jail!" they scream; and sometimes there's a real risk of serious trouble, because a case can be made cheaply in India. But this didn’t seem serious, so we asked how much was stolen. It turned out to be fourpence halfpenny, which we paid just to keep the peace, even though she[168] told them where the money was, and we later found out that she had been telling the truth.
I never thought she would remember it—the excitements of the day crowded it out of my mind—but weeks afterwards, when I was teaching her the text, "Not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold," and explaining how much Jesus had paid for us, she interrupted me with the remark, "Oh yes, I understand! I know how much you paid for me—fourpence halfpenny!"
I never thought she would remember it—the excitements of the day pushed it out of my mind—but weeks later, when I was teaching her the text, "Not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver and gold," and explaining how much Jesus had paid for us, she interrupted me with the remark, "Oh yes, I understand! I know how much you paid for me—fourpence halfpenny!"
And now to turn from small-seeming things to large. Ragland, Tamil missionary, is writing to a friend in 1847. He is trying to express astronomically the value of a soul. He asks, "How does the astronomer correct the knowledge of the stars which simple vision brings him? First, having discovered that the little dot of light is thousands of miles distant, and having discerned by the telescope that it subtends at the eye a sensible angle, and having measured that angle, a simple calculation shows him the size of the object to be greater perhaps than that of the huge ball which he calls his earth." Then, "Take the soul of one of the poorest, lowest Pariahs of India, and form it by imagination into, or suppose it represented by, a sphere. Place this at the extremity of a line which is to represent time. Extend this line and move off your sphere, farther and farther ad infinitum, and what has become of your sphere? Why, there it is, just as before. . . . It is still what it was, and this even after thousands of years. In short, the disc appears undiminished, though viewed from an almost infinite distance. Oh, what an angle of the mind ought that poor soul to subtend!"[169]
And now let's shift from small things to big ones. Ragland, a Tamil missionary, is writing to a friend in 1847. He’s trying to convey the immense value of a soul. He asks, "How does an astronomer correct the knowledge of the stars that simple sight gives him? First, after realizing that a tiny dot of light is thousands of miles away, and recognizing through a telescope that it forms a noticeable angle at the eye, and after measuring that angle, a simple calculation reveals that the size of that object might be greater than the huge ball we call Earth." Then, "Take the soul of one of the poorest, lowest Pariahs of India and imagine it represented as a sphere. Place this sphere at the end of a line that symbolizes time. Extend this line and move your sphere farther and farther ad infinitum, and what happens to your sphere? It remains there, just as it was. . . . It is still what it was, even after thousands of years. In short, the image appears unchanged, even when viewed from an almost infinite distance. Oh, what an angle of the mind should that poor soul subtend!"[169]
The letter goes on to suggest another parallel between things astronomical and things spiritual. He supposes an objector admits the size as proved, but demurs as to the importance of these heavenly bodies. "They are, perhaps, only unsubstantial froth, mere puffs of air, vapoury nothings." But the astronomer knows their mass and weight, as well as their size: "Long observation has taught him that planets in the neighbourhood of one given heavenly body have been turned out of their course, how, and by what, he is at first quite at a loss to tell but he has guessed and reasoned, has found cause for suspecting the planet. He watches, observes, and compares; and after a long sifting of evidence, he brings it in guilty of the disturbance. If it be so, it must have a power to disturb, a power to attract; and if so, it is not a mere shell, much less a mere vapour. It has mass and it has weight, and he calculates and determines from the disturbances what that weight is. Just so with the Pariah's soul. Oh, what a disturbance has it created! What a celestial body has it drawn out from its celestial sphere! Not a star, not the whole visible heavens, not the heaven of heavens itself, but Him Who fills heaven and earth, by Whom all things were created. Him did that Pariah's soul attract from heaven even to earth to save it. Oh that we would thence learn, and learning, lay to heart the weight and the value of that one soul."
The letter suggests another connection between the astronomical and the spiritual. It imagines that an objector acknowledges the size as proven but questions the significance of these heavenly bodies. "They might just be insubstantial fluff, mere puffs of air, vapory nothings." But the astronomer understands their mass and weight, as well as their size: "Long observation has shown him that planets near a particular heavenly body have been knocked off their path. Initially, he is unsure how or why this happens, but he has theorized and reasoned, identifying the suspect planet. He monitors, observes, and analyzes; after sifting through the evidence, he concludes that it is guilty of the disruption. If that’s the case, it must have the ability to disturb, the ability to attract; and if so, it’s not just a hollow shell, much less a vapor. It has mass and weight, and he calculates and determines its weight based on the disturbances. The same goes for the Pariah's soul. Oh, what a disturbance it has caused! What a celestial body has it drawn down from its celestial realm! Not a star, not even the entire visible heavens, nor the highest heaven itself, but Him who fills heaven and earth, by whom all things were made. That Pariah's soul pulled Him down from heaven to earth to save it. Oh, that we would learn from this and, in learning, understand the weight and value of that one soul."
And just as the majesty of the glory of the Lord is shown forth nowhere more majestically than in the chapter which tells us how He feeds His flock like a shepherd, and gathers the lambs with His arm, and carries them in His bosom, so nowhere, I think, do we[170] see the glory of our God more than in chapters of life which show Him bending down from the circle of the earth, yea rather, coming down all the way to help it, "attracted by the influence" of the need of a little child.
And just as the greatness of the Lord's glory is displayed most magnificently in the chapter that shows how He takes care of His flock like a shepherd, gathering the lambs in His arms and carrying them close to His heart, I believe that we see God's glory most clearly in the moments of life where He reaches down from the heavens, or rather, comes down all the way to assist, "drawn by the pull" of a little child's need.
CHAPTER XX
The Elf
"You remember what I said once, that you could not, perhaps, put a whole crown on the head of Jesus—that is, bring a whole country to be His—but you might put one little jewel in His crown."
"You remember what I once said, that you couldn't, perhaps, place an entire crown on Jesus’ head—that is, bring an entire country to follow Him—but you could add a single little jewel to His crown."
When she is, as she expresses it, "moved to sin," nobody of her own colour can manage her. "You are only me grown up," is her attitude towards them all. She is always ready to repent, but, as Pearl sorrowfully says, "before her tears are dry, she goes and sins again," and then, quite unabashed, she will trot up to you as if nothing had happened and expect to be lavishly petted.
When she feels, as she puts it, "compelled to sin," no one of her race can handle her. "You are just me all grown up," is how she views them. She's always willing to apologize, but, as Pearl sadly points out, "before her tears are dry, she goes and sins again," and then, completely unashamed, she'll come up to you as if nothing happened and expect to be showered with affection.
I never saw anyone except the Elf look interesting when naughty. She does look interesting. She is a rather light brown, and any emotion makes the brown lighter; her long lashes droop over her eyes in the most pathetic manner, and when she looks up[172] appealingly she might be an innocent martyr about to die for her faith.
I never saw anyone except the Elf look interesting when they were being mischievous. She really does stand out. Her skin is a light brown, and any emotion makes that brown seem even lighter; her long lashes droop over her eyes in a very sad way, and when she looks up[172] with those big eyes, she could be an innocent martyr about to sacrifice herself for her beliefs.
We have two other small girls with us; the Imp—but her name is a libel, she reformed some months ago—and Tangles, who ties herself into knots whenever she makes a remark. These three have many an argument (for Indian children delight in discussion), and sometimes the things that are brought to me would shock the orthodox. This is the last, brought yesterday:
We have two other little girls with us; the Imp—but her name is a misnomer, she changed her ways a few months ago—and Tangles, who gets herself all tangled up whenever she speaks. These three often have arguments (because Indian kids love to debate), and sometimes the things they bring to me would surprise the traditionalists. This is the latest one, brought to me yesterday:
"Obedience is not so important as love. Orpah was very obedient. Her mother-in-law said, 'Go, return,' and she did as she was told. But Ruth was not obedient at all. Four times her mother-in-law said, 'Go,' and yet she would not go. But God blessed Ruth much more than Orpah, because she loved her mother-in-law. So obedience is not so important as love." Only the day before I had been labouring to explain the absolute necessity for the cultivation of the grace of obedience; but now it was proved a secondary matter, for Ruth was certainly disobedient, but good and greatly blessed.
"Obedience isn't as important as love. Orpah was very obedient. Her mother-in-law said, 'Go back,' and she did just that. But Ruth was not obedient at all. Her mother-in-law told her to 'Go' four times, and still, she refused to leave. However, God blessed Ruth far more than Orpah because she loved her mother-in-law. So, obedience isn’t as important as love." Just the day before, I had been trying to explain how essential it is to develop the grace of obedience; but now it was clear that it was a secondary matter since Ruth was definitely disobedient, yet good and greatly blessed.
The Elf's chief delinquencies at present, however, spring from a rooted aversion to her share in the family housework (ten minutes' rubbing up of brass water-vessels); an appetite for slate pencils—she would nibble them by the inch if we would let her—"they are so nice to eat," she says; and, most fruitful of all in sad consequences, a love of being first.
The Elf's main issues right now come from her strong dislike of helping with the household chores (just ten minutes of polishing brass water vessels); a craving for slate pencils—she would chew on them endlessly if we allowed it—"they're so nice to eat," she says; and, most significantly, her desire to always be first.
As regards sin No. 1, I hope it will soon be a thing of the past, for she has just made a valuable discovery: "Satan doesn't come very close to me if I sing all the time I'm rubbing the brasses. He runs away when he[173] hears me sing, so I sing very loud, and that keeps him away. Satan doesn't like hymns." And I quite agree, and strongly advise her to persevere.
As for sin No. 1, I hope it will soon be behind us, because she just made an important discovery: "Satan doesn't come near me if I sing while I'm polishing the brass. He runs away when he hears me sing, so I sing really loudly, and that keeps him away. Satan doesn't like hymns." And I totally agree, and I strongly encourage her to keep it up.
Sin No. 2 is likely to pass, as she hates the nasty medicine we give her to correct her depraved proclivities; but No. 3 is more serious. It opens the door, or, as she once expressed it, it "calls so many other sins to come,"—quarrelling, pride, and several varieties of temper, come at the "call" of this sin No. 3.
Sin No. 2 is probably going to happen, since she really hates the unpleasant medicine we give her to fix her bad habits; but No. 3 is a bigger issue. It opens the door, or as she once put it, it "invites so many other sins to join in"—arguing, pride, and several kinds of bad temper all show up at the "call" of this sin No. 3.
She is a born leader in her very small way, and she has not learned yet, that before we can lead we must be willing to be led. "I will choose the game," she remarks "and all of you must do as I tell you." Sometimes they do, for her directions, though decisive, are given with a certain grace that wins obedience; but sometimes they do not, and then the Elf is offended, and walks off.
She’s a natural leader, even in her own small way, and she hasn’t realized yet that before we can lead, we have to be open to being led. "I’ll pick the game," she says, "and everyone has to follow my instructions." Sometimes they do, because her commands, although firm, come with a certain charm that earns their respect; but other times they don’t, and then the Elf gets upset and storms off.
But she is the life of the game, and they chase her and propitiate her; and she generally condescends to return, for solitary dignity is dull. If any of the seniors happen to see it, it is checked as much as possible, but oftener we hear of it in that very informing prayer, which is to her quite the event of the evening; for she takes to the outward forms of religion with great avidity, and the evening prayer especially is a deep delight to her. She counts up all her numerous shortcomings carefully and perfectly truthfully, as they appear to her, and with equal accuracy her blessings large and small. She sometimes includes her good deeds in the list, lest, I suppose, they should be forgotten in the record of the day. All the self-righteousness latent in human nature comes out, or used to, in her earlier days, in the evening revelations.[174] Here is a specimen, taken at random from the first month's sheaf. She and the Imp had come to my room for their devotions, preternaturally pious, both of them, though quite unregenerate. It was the Elf's turn to begin. She settled herself circumspectly, sighed deeply, and then began.
But she is the life of the game, and they pursue her and try to win her over; and she usually agrees to come back because being alone is boring. If any of the older students happen to notice it, they try to put a stop to it as much as possible, but more often we hear about it in that telling prayer, which is a big deal for her in the evening; because she eagerly engages in the outward forms of religion, and the evening prayer especially brings her great joy. She carefully counts all her many shortcomings, expressing them with complete honesty as they seem to her, and just as accurately acknowledges her blessings, both big and small. She sometimes adds her good deeds to the list, probably so they won’t be overlooked in the day's account. All the self-righteousness that's hidden in human nature would come out, or used to, in her earlier days during the evening reflections.[174] Here’s an example, picked at random from the first month’s batch. She and the Imp had come to my room for their prayers, both acting unusually pious, though not truly changed. It was the Elf's turn to start. She positioned herself carefully, sighed deeply, and then began.
First came the day's sins, counted on the fingers of the right hand, beginning with the fourth finger. "Once," and down went the little finger on the palm, "I was cross with L." (L. being the Imp, nine and a half to the Elf's seven and a half, but most submissive as a rule.) "I was cross because she did not do as I told her. That was wrong of me; but it was wrong of her too, so it was only half a sin. Twice," and the third finger was folded down, "when I did not do my work well. That was quite all my fault. Three times," and down went the middle finger, "when I caught a quarrel with those naughty little children; they were stupid little children, and they would not play my game, so I spoiled unity. But they came running after me, and they said, 'Please forgive us,' so I forgave them. That was very good of me, and I also forgave L.; so that is three bad things and two good things to-day."
First, I counted the day's mistakes on the fingers of my right hand, starting with my ring finger. "Once," I said, folding down my pinky, "I was upset with L." (L. is the Imp, nine and a half years old, while the Elf is seven and a half, but usually pretty compliant.) "I was upset because she didn't listen to me. That was wrong of me; but she was wrong too, so it’s only half a mistake. Twice," I folded down my middle finger, "when I didn't do my work properly. That was completely my fault. Three times," and I folded down my index finger, "when I got into an argument with those annoying little kids; they were being silly and wouldn't play my game, so I ruined the fun. But they came after me and said, 'Please forgive us,' so I forgave them. That was really nice of me, and I also forgave L.; so that adds up to three mistakes and two good things today."
I stopped her, and expatiated on the sin of pride, but her mind was full of the business in hand.
I stopped her and went on about the sin of pride, but her mind was focused on the task at hand.
"Then there were four blessings—no, five; but I can't remember the fifth. The Ammal gave me a box for my doll, and you gave me some sweets; and I found some nice rags in your waste-paper basket"—grubbing in rag-bags and waste-paper baskets is one of the joys of life; rags are so useful when you have a large family of dolls[175] who are always wearing out their clothes—"and I have some cakes in my own box now. There are four blessings. But I forget the fifth."
"Then there were four blessings—no, five; but I can't remember the fifth. The Ammal gave me a box for my doll, and you gave me some sweets; and I found some nice rags in your waste-paper basket"—digging through rag-bags and waste-paper baskets is one of life's simple pleasures; rags are super handy when you have a big family of dolls[175] who are always wearing out their clothes—"and I have some cakes in my own box now. So that's four blessings. But I forget the fifth."
I advised her to leave it, and begin, for the Imp was patiently waiting her turn. She, good child, suggested the missing fifth must be the soap—the Ammal had given each of them a piece the size of a walnut. Yes, that was it apparently, for the Elf, contented, began—
I told her to let it go and get started, because the Imp was patiently waiting for her turn. She, being a good kid, said the missing fifth must be the soap—the Ammal had given each of them a piece about the size of a walnut. Yes, that seemed to be it, because the Elf, satisfied, began—
"O loving Lord Jesus! I have done three wrong things to-day" (then followed the details and prayer for forgiveness). "Lord, give L. grace to do what I want her to do; and when she does not do it, Lord, give me grace to be patient with her. I thank Thee for causing me to forgive those little children who would not play the game I liked. Oh make them good, and make me also good; and next time we play together give me grace to play patiently with them. And oh, forgive all the bad things I have done to-day; and I thank Thee very much for all the good things I have done, for I did them by Thy grace." Praise for mercies followed in order: the cardboard box, the lump of sugar-candy, the spoils from the waste-paper basket, those sticky honey-cakes—which, to my disquietude, I then understood were secreted in her seeley box—and that precious bit of soap. Then—and this is never omitted—a fervently expressed desire for safe preservation for herself and her friends from "the bites of snakes and scorpions, and all other noxious creatures, through the darkness of the night, and when I wake may I find myself at Thy holy feet. Amen."
"O loving Lord Jesus! I did three wrong things today" (then followed the details and prayer for forgiveness). "Lord, give L. the strength to do what I want her to do; and when she doesn’t, Lord, help me to be patient with her. I’m grateful for giving me the ability to forgive those little kids who wouldn’t play the game I liked. Oh, make them good, and make me good too; and the next time we play together, give me the grace to play patiently with them. And oh, forgive all the bad things I’ve done today; and I’m very thankful for all the good things I’ve done, because I did them by Your grace." Praise for blessings followed in order: the cardboard box, the lump of sugar candy, the treasures from the waste-paper basket, those sticky honey cakes—which, to my unease, I then realized were hidden in her seeley box—and that precious bit of soap. Then—and this is never left out—a heartfelt wish for safety for herself and her friends from "the bites of snakes and scorpions, and all other harmful creatures, through the darkness of the night, and when I wake, may I find myself at Your holy feet. Amen."
No matter how sleepy she is, these last phrases, which are quite of her own devising, are always included in the[176] tail-end of her prayer. She would not feel at all safe on her mat, spread on the ground out of doors in hot weather, unless she had so fortified herself from all attacks of the reptile world. And when, one day, we discovered a nest of some few dozen scorpions within six yards of her mat, not one of which had ever disturbed her or any of her "friends," we really did feel that funny little prayer had power in it after all.
No matter how sleepy she is, these last phrases, which are entirely her own creation, are always included in the[176] end of her prayer. She wouldn’t feel at all safe on her mat, laid out on the ground outside in the hot weather, unless she had protected herself from all threats of the reptile world. And when, one day, we found a nest of a few dozen scorpions just six yards from her mat, none of which had ever bothered her or any of her "friends," we really felt that quirky little prayer had some power after all.
You cannot interrupt in the middle of those rather confusing confessions, she is far too much engaged to be disturbed, but when the communication is fairly over, and she cuddles on your knee for the kissing and caressing she so much appreciates, you have a chance of explaining things a little.
You can't interrupt those confusing confessions; she's too invested to be distracted. But once she's done talking and snuggles up on your lap for the kisses and cuddles she loves so much, you get a chance to explain things a bit.
She listened seriously that evening, I remember, then, slipping down off my knee, she added as a sort of postscript, very reverently, "O Lord Jesus, I prayed it wrong. I was naughtier than L., much naughtier. But indeed Thou wilt remember that she was naughty first. . . . Oh, that's not it! It was not L., it was me! And I was impatient with those little children. But . . . but they caused impatience within me." Then getting hopelessly mixed up between self-condemnation and self-justification, she gave it up, adding, however, "Next time we play together, give them more grace to play patiently with me," which was so far satisfactory, as at first she had scouted the idea that there could be any need of patience on the other side.
She listened seriously that evening, I remember, then, slipping off my knee, she added as a sort of postscript, very reverently, "Oh Lord Jesus, I prayed it wrong. I was naughtier than L., much naughtier. But truly, you’ll remember that she was naughty first. . . . Oh, that's not it! It wasn't L., it was me! And I was impatient with those little kids. But . . . they made me feel impatient." Then getting hopelessly tangled between blaming herself and defending her actions, she gave up, adding, however, "Next time we play together, give them more grace to play patiently with me," which was somewhat satisfactory, as at first she had dismissed the idea that there could be any need for patience on the other side.
Sometimes she brings me perplexities not new to most of us. "This morning I prayed with great desire, 'Lord, keep me to-day from being naughty at all,' and I was[177] naughty an hour afterwards; I looked at the clock and saw. How was it I was naughty when I wanted to be good? The naughtiness jumped up inside me, so"—(illustrating its supposed action within), "and it came running out. So what is the use of praying?"
Sometimes she presents me with dilemmas that many of us are familiar with. "This morning I prayed earnestly, 'Lord, help me not to be bad today,' and an hour later I was[177] misbehaving; I checked the clock and noticed. How could I be bad when I wanted to be good? The mischief surged up inside me, so"—(demonstrating its supposed action within), "and it came rushing out. So what's the point of praying?"
Once the difficulty was rather opposite.
Once the difficulty was quite the opposite.
"Can you be good without God's grace?"
"Can you be good without God's grace?"
I told her I certainly could not.
I told her that I definitely couldn't.
"Well, I can!" she answered delightedly. "I want to pray now."
"Well, I can!" she replied happily. "I want to pray now."
"Now? It is eight o'clock now. Haven't you had prayer long ago?" (We all get up at six o'clock.)
"Now? It's eight o'clock now. Haven't you prayed a long time ago?" (We all get up at six o'clock.)
"No. That's just what I meant. I skipped my prayer this morning, and so of course I got no grace; but I have been helping the elder Sisters. Wasn't that right?"
"No. That's exactly what I meant. I skipped my prayer this morning, so I didn't receive any grace; but I have been helping the older Sisters. Wasn't that the right thing to do?"
"Yes, quite right."
"Yes, that's correct."
"And yet I hadn't got any grace! But I suppose," she added reflectively, "it was the grace over from yesterday that did it."
"And yet I didn't have any grace! But I guess," she said thoughtfully, "it was the leftover grace from yesterday that did it."
As a rule she is not distinguished for very deep penitence, but at one time she had what she called "a true sense of sin" which fluctuated rather, but was always hailed, when it appeared in force, as a sign of better things. After a day of mixed goodness and badness the Elf prayed most devoutly, "I thank Thee for giving me a sense of sin to-day. O God, keep me from being at all naughty to-morrow. But if I am naughty, Lord, give me a true sense of sin!"
As a rule, she isn't known for being very deeply remorseful, but at one point, she experienced what she called "a true sense of sin," which varied quite a bit but was always welcomed, when it showed up strongly, as a sign of better things to come. After a day filled with both good and bad, the Elf prayed sincerely, "Thank you for giving me a sense of sin today. Oh God, keep me from being naughty at all tomorrow. But if I am naughty, Lord, please give me a true sense of sin!"

Professor Drummond speaks of our whole life as a long-drawn breath of mystery, between the two great wonders—the first awakening and the last sleep. I often[178] think of that as I listen to the little children talking to each other and to us. They are always wondering about something. One day it was, "Do fishes love Jesus?" followed by "What is a soul?" The conclusion was, "It's the thing we love Jesus with." When they first come to us they invariably think that mountains grow like trees: "Stones are young mountains, aren't they? and hills are middle-aged mountains." Later on, every printed thing on a wall is a text. We were in a railway station, on our way to the hills: "Look! oh, what numbers and numbers of texts! But what queer pictures to have on texts!" One was specially perplexing; it was a well-known advertisement, and the picture showed a monkey smoking a cigar. What could that depraved animal have to do with a text? When we got to the hills the first amazement was the sight of the fashionable ladies wearing veils. "Don't they like to look at God's beautiful world? Do they like it better spotty?"
Professor Drummond talks about our entire life as a long breath of mystery, stretched between two great wonders—the first awakening and the final sleep. I often[178] think of that while listening to little kids chatting with each other and with us. They're always curious about something. One day, it was, "Do fish love Jesus?" followed by "What is a soul?" They concluded, "It's the thing we love Jesus with." When they first arrive, they usually think that mountains grow like trees: "Stones are young mountains, right? And hills are middle-aged mountains." Later, everything printed on a wall becomes a text for them. We were at a train station, heading to the hills: "Look! Oh, so many texts! But what weird pictures to have on texts!" One was especially confusing; it was a well-known ad, and the picture showed a monkey smoking a cigar. What could that messed-up animal have to do with a text? When we got to the hills, the first surprise was seeing fashionable ladies wearing veils. "Don't they want to see God's beautiful world? Do they like it better spotty?"
Tangles has another name; it is the "Ugly Duckling," and it is extremely descriptive; but Ugly Duckling or not, she is of an inquiring turn of mind, and one Saturday afternoon, after standing under a tree for fully five minutes lost in thought, she came to me with a question: "What are the birds saying to each other?" I looked at the Ugly Duckling, and she twisted herself into a note of interrogation, in the ridiculous way she has, but her face was full of anxiety for enlightenment about the language of the sparrows. "There," she said, pointing vigorously to the astonished birds, which instantly flew away, "that little sparrow and this one are[179] making quite different noises. What are they saying? I do want to know so much!"
Tangles has another name; it’s the “Ugly Duckling,” which is really fitting. But ugly or not, she has a curious mind, and one Saturday afternoon, after standing under a tree for a full five minutes lost in thought, she came to me with a question: “What are the birds saying to each other?” I looked at the Ugly Duckling, and she twisted herself into a questioning pose in her usual silly way, but her face was full of worry as she sought to understand the language of the sparrows. “Look there,” she said, pointing excitedly at the surprised birds, which immediately flew away, “that little sparrow and this one are[179] making totally different sounds. What are they saying? I really want to know!”
As I imagined the birds in question had just been having supper, I told her what I thought they were probably saying. Next day, in the sermon, there was something about the praise all creation offers to God, and I saw Tangles knotting her hands together and going into the queerest contortions in appreciation of the one bit of the sermon she could understand.
As I pictured the birds having dinner, I shared my thoughts on what they might be saying. The next day, during the sermon, there was a part about the praise that all of creation gives to God, and I noticed Tangles twisting her hands together and making the strangest movements in appreciation of the one part of the sermon she could grasp.
The Imp's questions were various. "What is that?"—pointing to a busy-bee clock—"is it an English kind of insect? Don't its legs get tired going round? Oh! is it dead now?" (when it stopped). "Who made Satan?" was an early one. "Why doesn't God kill him immediately, and stamp on him?" One day I was trying to find and touch her heart by telling her how very sorry Jesus is when we are naughty. She seemed subdued, then—"Amma, where was the Queen's spirit after she died and before they buried her, and what did they give it to eat?"
The Imp had a bunch of questions. "What's that?"—pointing at a busy-bee clock—"Is it some kind of English insect? Don’t its legs get tired from going around? Oh! Is it dead now?" (when it stopped). "Who created Satan?" was one of the earlier ones. "Why doesn’t God just kill him right away and stomp on him?" One day, I was trying to reach her heart by explaining how sad Jesus feels when we misbehave. She seemed calmed down, then asked—"Mom, where was the Queen's spirit after she died and before they buried her, and what did they give it to eat?"
"Did you see Lot's wife?" was a question which tickled the Bishop when, on his last visitation, he gave himself up to an hour's catechising upon his tour in the Holy Land. They were disappointed that he had to confess he had not. "Oh, I suppose the salt has melted," was the Elf's comment upon this.
"Did you see Lot's wife?" was a question that amused the Bishop when, during his last visit, he spent an hour discussing his trip to the Holy Land. They were let down when he had to admit he hadn't. "Oh, I guess the salt has melted," was the Elf's response to this.
Tangles is distinctly inclined to peace. The Elf, I grieve to say, is not. Yesterday she announced a quarrel: "I feel cross!" Tangles objected to quarrel. "I do feel cross!" and the Elf apparently showed corroborative symptoms. Then Tangles looked at her[180] straight: "I'm not going to quarrel. The devil has arrived in the middle of the afternoon to interrupt our unity, and I won't let him!" which so touched the Elf that she embraced her on the spot; and then, in detailing it all in her prayer in the evening, this incorrigible little sinner added, with real emotion, "Lord, I am not good. I spoiled unity with L." (the Imp), "and Thou didst feel obliged to remove her to a boarding-school. Now do help me not to spoil unity with P." (who is Tangles), "lest Thou shouldst feel obliged to remove her also to a boarding-school,"—a view of the Imp's promotion which had not struck me before.
Tangles really prefers peace. The Elf, sadly, does not. Yesterday she declared a fight: "I feel upset!" Tangles disagreed with the notion of a fight. "I do feel upset!" and the Elf clearly showed signs of agreeing. Then Tangles looked at her[180] directly: "I'm not going to fight. The devil has shown up in the middle of the afternoon to disrupt our harmony, and I won’t allow it!" This move touched the Elf so much that she hugged her right then and there; and later, while praying in the evening, this stubborn little sinner added, with genuine feeling, "Lord, I’m not good. I ruined harmony with L." (the Imp), "and You felt you had to send her to boarding school. Please help me not to ruin harmony with P." (who is Tangles), "or You might feel the need to send her to a boarding school too,"—a thought about the Imp's promotion that hadn’t occurred to me before.
Tangles and she belong to the same Caste, and Tangles has the character of that Caste as fully developed as the Elf, and can hold her own effectually. Also she is a little older and taller, and being the Elf's "elder sister," is, therefore, entitled to a certain measure of respect. All those small things tend to the discipline of the Elf, who is very small for her age, and who would have preferred a junior, of a meek and mild disposition, and whose constant prayer is this: "O Lord, bring another little girl out of the lion's mouth, but, O Lord, please let her be a very little girl!" Shortly after this prayer began, a very little girl was brought; but she was a vulgar infant, and greatly tried the Elf, and she was, for various reasons, promptly returned to her parents. After this episode the prayer varied somewhat: "Lord, let her be a suitable child, and give me grace to love her from my heart when she comes."
Tangles and the Elf are from the same Caste, and Tangles embodies the traits of that Caste just as well as the Elf does, and she can stand her ground effectively. She is also a bit older and taller, and since she is the Elf's "older sister," she gets a certain level of respect. All these little things contribute to the Elf's upbringing, who is very small for her age, and she'd have preferred a younger sibling who was meek and mild. Her constant wish is: "Oh Lord, please bring another little girl out of the lion's mouth, but, oh Lord, let her be a very little girl!" Soon after this prayer started, a very little girl was brought in; however, she turned out to be a bratty infant, which greatly annoyed the Elf, and for various reasons, she was quickly sent back to her parents. After this incident, the prayer changed a bit: "Lord, let her be a suitable child, and give me the grace to love her from my heart when she arrives."
The conversation of these young creatures is often[181] very illuminating, and always most miscellaneous. The Elf's mind especially is a sort of small curiosity shop, and displays many assortments. The Elf, Tangles, and little Delight (Delight is a youthful Christian) are curled up on the warm red sand with their three little heads close together. The Elf is telling a story. I listen, and hear a marvellous muddle of the Uganda Boys and Cyril of North Africa. "He was only six years old, and he stood up and said, 'What you are going to do, do quickly! I am not afraid. I am going to the Golden City!' And they showed him the sword and the fire, and he said, 'Do it quickly!' and they chopped off his arm, and said, 'Will you deny Jesus?' and he said, 'No!' and they chopped off his other arm,"—and so on through all the various limbs in most vivid detail,—"and then they threw him on the fire, and burnt him till he was ashes; and he sang praises to Jesus!"
The conversation among these young ones is often[181] very enlightening and always a mix of topics. The Elf's mind, in particular, is like a tiny curiosity shop, full of different things. The Elf, Tangles, and little Delight (Delight is a young Christian) are curled up on the warm red sand with their three little heads close together. The Elf is sharing a story. I listen and hear an incredible blend of the Uganda Boys and Cyril of North Africa. "He was only six years old, and he stood up and said, 'What you’re going to do, do it quickly! I’m not afraid. I’m going to the Golden City!' And they showed him the sword and the fire, and he said, 'Do it quickly!' and they chopped off his arm, and said, 'Will you deny Jesus?' and he said, 'No!' and they chopped off his other arm,"—and so on, through all the various limbs in vivid detail,—"and then they threw him on the fire, and burned him to ashes; and he sang praises to Jesus!"
The Elf leans to the tragic. Tangles' mother had a difference of opinion with a friend. The friend snatched at her opponent's ear jewels, and tore the ear. Life with a torn ear was intolerable, so Tangles' mother walked three times round the well, repeated three times, "My blood be on your head!" and sprang in. She rose three times, each time said the same words, and then sank. All this Tangles confided to the Elf, who concocted a game based upon the incident—which, however, we ruthlessly squashed. They are tossing pebbles now, according to rules of their own, and talking vigorously. "The Ammal told me all the people in England are white, and I asked her what they did without servants, and she said they had white servants, white servants!!"[182] and the note of exclamation is intense. The others are equally astonished. White people as servants! The two ideas clash. They have never seen a white servant. In all their extensive acquaintance with white people they have only seen missionaries (who are truly their servants, though they hardly realise it yet), and occasionally Government officials, whose mastership is very much in evidence. So they are puzzled. They get out of the difficulty, however. "At the beginning of the beginning of England, black people must have gone to be the white people's servants, and they gradually grew white." Yes, that's it apparently; they faded.
The Elf leans towards the tragic. Tangles' mother had a disagreement with a friend. The friend grabbed at her opponent's ear jewelry and tore the ear. Living with a torn ear was unbearable, so Tangles' mother walked around the well three times, repeated three times, "My blood be on your head!" and jumped in. She resurfaced three times, each time saying the same words, and then sank. Tangles shared all this with the Elf, who came up with a game based on the incident—which, however, we harshly shut down. They are now tossing pebbles according to their own rules and talking excitedly. "The Ammal told me all the people in England are white, and I asked her what they did without servants, and she said they had white servants, white servants!!"[182] and the exclamation is intense. The others are equally shocked. White people as servants! The two ideas clash. They have never seen a white servant. In all their extensive experience with white people, they have only seen missionaries (who are actually their servants, though they hardly realize it yet) and occasionally government officials, whose authority is very clear. So they are confused. However, they come up with an explanation. "At the very start of England, black people must have gone to be the white people's servants, and they gradually turned white." Yes, that seems to be it; they faded.
The conversation springs higher. "Do you know what lightning is? I'll tell you. I watched it one whole evening, and I think it's just a little bit of heaven's light coming through and going back again." This sounds probable, and great interest is aroused. They are discussing the sheet lightning which plays about the sky in the evening before rain. "Of course it isn't much of heaven's light, only a little tiny bit getting out and running down here to show us what it is like inside. One night I shut my eyes, and it ran in and out, in and out, oh so fast! Even if I shut my eyes I saw it running inside my eyes."
The conversation picks up. "Do you know what lightning is? Let me explain. I watched it for an entire evening, and I think it’s just a tiny bit of heaven’s light peeking through and then going back again." This sounds believable, and everyone gets really interested. They’re talking about the sheet lightning that flickers across the sky in the evenings before it rains. "Sure, it’s not a lot of heaven’s light, just a little tiny bit that manages to get out and comes down here to show us what it’s like up there. One night, I closed my eyes, and it zipped in and out, in and out, so quickly! Even with my eyes shut, I could see it flashing behind my eyelids."
"Did you get caned in school to-day?"
"Did you get punished at school today?"
"No, not exactly caned," and an explanation follows. "I was standing beside a very naughty little girl, and the teacher meant to cane her, but the cane fell on me by mistake. I wanted to cry, because it hurt, but I thought it would be silly to cry when it hurt me quite by mistake. So I didn't cry one tear!"[183]
"No, it wasn't exactly a caning," and then I explained. "I was standing next to a really mischievous little girl, and the teacher intended to hit her, but the cane accidentally landed on me instead. I wanted to cry because it hurt, but I thought it would be foolish to cry when it happened to me by accident. So I didn't shed a single tear!"[183]
The Elf hit upon a capital expedient for escaping castigation (which is never very severe). "I found this cane myself. It was lying on the ground in the compound, and I am going to take it to the teacher." Chorus of "Why?" "Because," and the Elf looked elfish, "if I give it to him with my own hands, how will he cane my hands with it? His heart will not be hard enough to cane me with the cane I gave him!" and the little scamp looks round for applause. Chorus of admiring "Oh!"
The Elf came up with a clever plan to avoid punishment (which is never that harsh). "I found this cane myself. It was lying on the ground in the yard, and I’m going to take it to the teacher." A chorus of "Why?" "Because," the Elf said with a mischievous look, "if I hand it to him myself, how can he hit my hands with it? He won’t be able to be that cruel to punish me with the cane I gave him!" And the little troublemaker looked around for approval. A chorus of admiring "Oh!"
Then they begin again, the Elf as usual chief informant. "I know something!" Chorus, "What?" "A beautiful doll is waiting for me in a box, and I'm going to have it at Ki-rismas!" "What sort of a doll?" is the eager inquiry. "I don't know exactly, but God sent it, of course, so I think it must be something like an angel." Chorus, delightedly, "Ah!" "Yes, if it came from God, then of course it came from heaven, and heaven is the place all the angels come from, and they are white and shining, so I think it will be white and shining like an angel." The doll in question is a negress with a woolly head and a scarlet-striped pinafore. It had not struck me as angelic. It is an experiment in dolls. Will it "take"? Ki-rismas came at last, and the heavenly doll with it, but it did not "take." Grievous were the tears and sobs, and the bitterest wail of all was, "I thought God would have sent me a nicer doll!" We changed it for a "nicer doll," for the poor Elf was not wicked, only broken-hearted, and Star, who is supposed to be much too old for dolls, begged for the despised black beauty; because, as the Elf maliciously remarked as she hugged her white[184] dolly contentedly, "That black thing has a curly head, just like Star's!"
Then they start again, with the Elf as the main storyteller. "I know something!" the Chorus says, "What?" "There's a beautiful doll waiting for me in a box, and I'm going to get it for Christmas!" "What kind of doll?" is the excited question. "I don't know exactly, but it was sent by God, so I think it must be something like an angel." The Chorus happily responds, "Ah!" "Yes, if it came from God, then it must be from heaven, and heaven is where all the angels come from, and they're white and shining, so I think it will be white and shining like an angel." The doll in question is a black girl with a curly head and a red-striped pinafore. I hadn't really thought of it as angelic. It was an experiment in dolls. Would it be popular? Finally, Christmas arrived, and so did the heavenly doll, but it didn't go over well. There were many tears and sobs, and the saddest cry of all was, "I thought God would have sent me a nicer doll!" We exchanged it for a "nicer doll" because the poor Elf wasn't bad, just heartbroken, and Star, who is considered too old for dolls, asked for the unwanted black beauty; because, as the Elf teased while hugging her white doll happily, "That black thing has a curly head, just like Star's!"
The habit of praying about everything is characteristic of the Elf, and more than once her uninstructed little soul has grieved over the strange way our prayers are sometimes answered. One day she came rushing in full of excitement. "Oh, may I go and be examined? The Government Missie Ammal is going to examine our school! Please let me go!" The Government Missie Ammal, a great celebrity who only comes round once a year, was staying with us, and I asked her if the child might have the joy of being examined even though she had not had nearly her year at school. She agreed, for the sake of the little one's delight—for an Indian child likes nothing better than a fuss of any kind—to let her come into the examination room, and take her examination informally. We knew she was sure of a pass. An hour or two afterwards a scout came flying over to tell us the awful news. The Elf had failed, utterly failed, and she was so ashamed she wouldn't come back, "wouldn't come back any more." I went for her, and found her a little heap of sobs and tears, outside the schoolroom. I gathered her up in my arms and carried her home, and tried to comfort her, but she was crushed. "I asked God so earnestly to let me pass, and I didn't pass! And I thought He had listened, but now I know He didn't listen at all!"
The habit of praying about everything is typical of the Elf, and more than once her innocent little heart has been troubled by the strange way our prayers are sometimes answered. One day, she burst in full of excitement. "Oh, can I go and take the exam? The Government Missie Ammal is going to check our school! Please let me go!" The Government Missie Ammal, a big deal who only visits once a year, was staying with us, and I asked her if the child could have the chance to be examined even though she hadn't been in school for nearly a year. She agreed, just to make the little one happy—because an Indian child loves nothing more than attention of any kind—and let her come into the exam room and take her exam informally. We knew she'd surely pass. A couple of hours later, a messenger came rushing in with the terrible news. The Elf had failed, completely failed, and she was so ashamed she wouldn’t come back, "wouldn't come back ever again." I went to find her and found her a little ball of sobs and tears outside the classroom. I gathered her up in my arms and took her home, trying to comfort her, but she was devastated. "I asked God so earnestly to let me pass, and I didn’t pass! I thought He had listened, but now I know He didn’t listen at all!"
I was puzzled too, though for a different reason. I knew she should easily have passed, and I could only conclude her wild excitement had made her nervous, for with many tears she told me, "I did not know one answer! not even[185] one!" And again she came back to the first and sorest, "Oh, I did think God was listening, and He wasn't listening at all!"
I was confused too, but for a different reason. I knew she should have passed without a problem, and I could only guess that her intense excitement had made her anxious, because with many tears she told me, "I didn’t know a single answer! not even[185] one!" And again she returned to the first and most painful thought, "Oh, I really thought God was listening, and He wasn't listening at all!"
At last I got her quieted, and explained, by means of a rupee and an anna, how sometimes God gives us something better than we ask for; we ask for an anna, and He gives us a rupee. A rupee holds sixteen annas. She grew interested: "Then my passing that examination was the anna. But what is the rupee?" Now the Elf, as you may have observed, is not weighted with over much humility, so I told her I thought the rupee must be humility. She considered a while, then sliding off my knee, she knelt down and said, with the utmost gravity and purpose, "O God! I did not want that kind of answer, but I do want it now. Give me the rupee of humility!" Then springing up with eyes dancing with mischief, "Next time I fall into pride you will say, 'Oh, where is that rupee?'"
At last, I got her to calm down and explained, using a rupee and an anna, how sometimes God gives us something better than what we ask for; we ask for an anna, and He gives us a rupee. A rupee contains sixteen annas. She became interested: "So passing that exam was the anna. But what is the rupee?" Now, as you've probably noticed, the Elf isn’t exactly brimming with humility, so I told her that I thought the rupee must represent humility. She thought about it for a moment, then slid off my knee, knelt down, and said very seriously, "O God! I didn’t want that kind of answer, but now I do want it. Give me the rupee of humility!" Then she jumped up, her eyes sparkling with mischief, and said, "Next time I get proud, you'll say, 'Oh, where's that rupee?'"
When the school examinations were over, and the Missie Ammal came back to rest, I asked her about the Elf. "She really did very badly, seemed to know nothing of her subjects; should not have gone in, poor mite!" It suddenly struck me to ask what class she had gone into. "The first," said the Missie Ammal. "But she is in the infants'!" Then we understood. The Elf had only been at school for a few months, and had just finished the infant standard book, and had been moved into the first a day or two before, as the teacher felt she was well able to clear the first course in the next six months and take her examination in the following year, two years' work in one. But it was not intended[186] she should go in for the Government examination, which requires a certain time to be spent in preparation; so when, in the confusion of the arrangement of the classes, she stood with her little class-fellows of two days only, the mistake was not noticed. No wonder the poor Elf failed! We never told her the reason, not desiring to raise fresh questions upon the mysterious ways of Providence in her busy little brain; and to this day, when she is betrayed into pride, she shakes her head solemnly at herself, and remembers the rupee.
When the school exams were over and Missie Ammal came back to rest, I asked her about the Elf. "She really did poorly, seemed to know nothing about her subjects; she shouldn’t have taken it, poor thing!" It suddenly struck me to ask which class she had entered. "The first," said Missie Ammal. "But she’s in the infants!" Then we understood. The Elf had only been in school for a few months, had just finished the infant standard book, and had been moved into the first class a day or two before because the teacher felt she could handle the first course in the next six months and take her exam the following year, cramming two years' work into one. But it wasn’t intended that she would sit for the Government exam, which requires a set amount of preparation time; so when, in the chaos of class arrangements, she stood with her little classmates of only two days, the mistake went unnoticed. No wonder the poor Elf failed! We never told her the reason, not wanting to spark new questions in her busy little mind about the mysterious ways of Providence; and to this day, when she gets a bit too proud of herself, she solemnly shakes her head and remembers the rupee.
She has lately been staying with the Missie Ammals, "my very particular friends," as she calls them, at the C.E.Z. House, in Palamcottah. She returned to us full of matter, and charged with a new idea. "I am no more going to spend my pocket money upon vanities. I am going to save it all up, and buy a Gee-lit Bible." This gilt-edged treasure is a fruitful source of conversation. It will take about six years at the rate of one farthing a week to save enough to buy exactly the kind she desires. "I don't want a common Bible. It must be gee-lit, with shining gee-lit all down the leaves on the outside, and the name on the back all gee-lit too. That's the kind of Bible I want!" Just as I wrote that, she trotted in and poured three half-annas in small change upon the table. "That's all I've got, and it's six weeks' savings. Six years is a long, long time!" She confided to me that she found "the flesh wanted to persuade" her to spend these three half-annas on cakes. "It is the flesh, isn't it, that feeling you get inside, that says 'sweets and cakes! sweets and cakes!' in a very loud voice? I listened to it for a little, and then I wanted those sweets[187] and cakes! So I said to myself, If I buy them they will all be gone in an hour, but if I buy that Gee-lit Bible it will last for years and years. So I would not listen any more to my flesh." Then a sudden thought struck her, and she added impressively, "But when you give me sweets and cakes, that is different; the feeling that likes them is not 'flesh' then. It is only 'flesh' when I'm tempted to spend my Gee-lit Bible money on them." This was a point I was intended thoroughly to understand. Sweets and cakes were not to be confused with "flesh" except where a Gee-lit Bible was concerned. She seemed relieved when I agreed with her that such things might perhaps sometimes be innocently enjoyed, and with a sudden and rather startling change of subject inquired, "Do they never have holidays in hell?"
She has recently been staying with the Missie Ammals, "my very special friends," as she calls them, at the C.E.Z. House in Palamcottah. She came back to us full of ideas and charged with a new plan. "I'm not going to spend my pocket money on silly things anymore. I'm going to save it all up and buy a Gee-lit Bible." This gilt-edged treasure is a great topic for discussion. It’ll take about six years saving one farthing each week to buy exactly the kind she wants. "I don’t want a regular Bible. It has to be gee-lit, with shiny gee-lit on the outside of the pages, and the name on the back all gee-lit too. That’s the kind of Bible I want!" Just as I wrote that, she walked in and dumped three half-annas in small change onto the table. "That’s all I’ve got, and it’s six weeks’ savings. Six years is a really long time!" She confided in me that she felt "the flesh wanted to convince" her to spend those three half-annas on cakes. "It’s the flesh, isn’t it, that feeling you get inside that says 'sweets and cakes! sweets and cakes!' really loudly? I listened to it for a bit, and then I wanted those sweets and cakes! So I told myself, If I buy them, they’ll all be gone in an hour, but if I get that Gee-lit Bible, it’ll last for years and years. So I wouldn’t listen to my flesh anymore." Then a sudden thought hit her, and she added seriously, "But when you give me sweets and cakes, that’s different; the feeling that likes them isn’t 'flesh' then. It’s only 'flesh' when I’m tempted to spend my Gee-lit Bible money on them." This was a point I was meant to fully understand. Sweets and cakes should not be confused with "flesh" except when it comes to a Gee-lit Bible. She seemed relieved when I agreed that such things could sometimes be enjoyed innocently, and with a sudden and rather surprising change of topic, she asked, "Do they never have holidays in hell?"
CHAPTER XXI
Deified Devilry
"Next to the sacrificers, they (the temple women) are the most important persons about the temple. That a temple intended as a place of worship, and attended by hundreds of simple-hearted men and women, should be so polluted, and that in the name of religion, is almost beyond belief; and that Indian boys should grow up to manhood, accustomed to see immorality shielded in these temples with a divine cloak, makes our hearts grow sick and faint."
"Next to the sacrificers, the temple women are the most important people in the temple. It's hard to believe that a temple meant for worship, visited by hundreds of sincere men and women, could be so corrupted in the name of religion; and that Indian boys grow up seeing immorality covered up in these temples as if it's sacred makes us feel sick and weak."
Two girls came to see us to-day; sisters, but tuned to different keys. One was ordinary enough, a bright girl with plenty of jewels and a merry, contented face. The other was finer grained; you looked at her as you would look at the covers of a book, wondering what was inside. Both were married; neither had children. This was the only sorrow the younger had ever had, and it did not seem to weigh heavily.
Two girls came to see us today; sisters, but very different from each other. One was pretty typical, a cheerful girl with lots of jewelry and a happy, content face. The other was more refined; you looked at her like you would at a book cover, curious about what was inside. Both were married, and neither had kids. This was the only sadness the younger one had ever experienced, but it didn’t seem to bother her much.
The elder looked as if she had forgotten how to smile. Sometimes, when the other laughed, her eyes would light for a moment, but the shadow in them[189] deepened almost before the light had come; great soft brown eyes, full of the dumb look that animals have when they are suffering.
The elderly woman seemed to have forgotten how to smile. Occasionally, when others laughed, her eyes would brighten briefly, but the darkness would return almost instantly; large, gentle brown eyes, filled with the blank expression that animals have when they're in pain.
I knew her story, and understood. She was betrothed as a baby of four to a lad considerably older; a lovable boy, they say he was, generous and frank. The two of course belonged to the same Caste, the Vellalar, and were thoroughly well brought up.
I knew her story and understood. She was engaged at the age of four to a boy who was much older; they say he was a nice kid, kind and straightforward. Both of them belonged to the same caste, the Vellalar, and were very well raised.
In South India no ceremony of importance is considered complete without the presence of "the Servants of the gods." These are girls and women belonging to the temple (that is, belonging to the priests of the temple), who, as they are never married, "except to the god who never dies," can never become widows. Hence the auspiciousness of their presence at betrothals, marriages, feasts of all sorts, and even funerals.
In South India, no important ceremony is seen as complete without the presence of "the Servants of the gods." These are girls and women associated with the temple (that is, connected to the temple priests), who, since they can never marry anyone but the god who never dies, can never become widows. This makes their presence considered fortunate at betrothals, weddings, all kinds of feasts, and even funerals.
But this set of Vellalars had as a clan risen above the popular superstition, and the demoralising presence of these women was not allowed to profane either the betrothal or marriage of any child of the family. So the boy and girl grew up as unsullied as Hindus ever are. They knew of what happened in other homes, but their clan was a large one, and they found their society in it, and did not come across others much.
But this group of Vellalars had, as a clan, risen above the common superstitions, and the negative influence of these women was not allowed to taint either the engagement or marriage of any child in the family. So the boy and girl grew up as pure as Hindus ever are. They were aware of what went on in other households, but their clan was large, and they found their community within it, rarely mingling with others.
Shortly before his marriage the boy went to worship in the great temple near the sea. He had heard of its sanctity all his life, and as a little lad had often gone with his parents on pilgrimage there, but now he went to worship. He took his offering and went. He went again and again. All that he saw there was religion, all that he did was religious. Could there be harm in it?[190]
Shortly before his wedding, the young man went to pray at the big temple by the sea. He had known about its sacredness all his life and, as a child, had often gone there on pilgrimages with his parents, but now he was there to worship. He brought his offering and went. He returned again and again. Everything he saw there was about religion, and everything he did was religious. Could there be any harm in that?[190]
He was married; his little bride went with him trustfully. She knew more of him than most Indian brides know of their husbands. She had heard he was loving, and she thought he would be kind to her.
He was married; his young wife went with him confidently. She knew more about him than most Indian brides know about their husbands. She had heard he was affectionate, and she believed he would be gentle with her.
A year or two passed, and the child's face had a look in it which even the careless saw, but she never spoke about anything to give them the clue to it. She went to stay in her father's house for a few weeks, and they saw the change, but she would not speak even to them.
A year or two went by, and the child's face showed an expression that even the uninterested noticed, but she never talked about anything that would hint at it. She spent a few weeks at her father's house, and they noticed the difference, but she wouldn’t even talk to them.
Then things got worse. The girl grew thin, and the neighbours talked, and the father heard and understood; and, to save a scandal, he took them away from the town where they lived, and made every effort to give them another start in a place where they were not known. But the coils of that snake of deified sin had twisted round the boy, body and soul; he could not escape from it.
Then things got worse. The girl became thin, and the neighbors talked, and the father heard and understood; to avoid a scandal, he moved them away from the town where they lived and did everything he could to give them a fresh start somewhere they weren't known. But the grip of that snake of glorified sin had wrapped around the boy, body and soul; he couldn't escape it.
They moved again to another town; it followed him there, for a temple was there, and a temple means that.
They moved to another town; it followed him there because there was a temple, and a temple means that.
Then the devil of cruelty seized upon him; he would drink, a disgraceful thing in his Caste, and then hold his little wife down on the floor, and stuff a bit of cloth into her mouth, and beat her, and kick her, and trample upon her, and tear the jewels out of her ears. The neighbours saw it, and told.
Then the cruel devil took over him; he would drink, which was shameful in his caste, and then pin his little wife down on the floor, shove a piece of cloth into her mouth, and beat her, kick her, trample on her, and rip the earrings out of her ears. The neighbors witnessed it and reported it.
Then he refused to bring money to her, and she slowly starved, quite silent still, till at last hunger broke down her resolute will, and she begged the neighbours for rice. And he did more, but it cannot be told. How often one stops in writing home-letters. The whole truth can never be told.[191]
Then he refused to bring her money, and she slowly starved in silence until her strong will finally gave in, and she had to beg the neighbors for rice. He did even more, but that part of the story can't be shared. How often we pause when writing to our families. You can never tell the whole truth.[191]
She is only a girl yet, in years at least; in suffering, oh, how old she is! Not half is known, for she never speaks; loyal and true to him through it all. We only know what the neighbours know, and what her silent dark eyes tell, and the little thin face and hands.
She’s just a girl, at least in age; in terms of suffering, though, she’s incredibly old! We barely know anything, since she never talks; she’s been loyal and true to him through everything. All we know is what the neighbors know, and what her quiet, dark eyes reveal, along with her small, thin face and hands.
She was very weary and ill to-day, but she would not own it, brave little soul! I could see that neuralgia was racking her head, and every limb trembled when she stood up; but what made it so pathetic to me was the silence with which she bore it all. I have only seen her once before, and now she is going far away with her husband to another town, and I may not see her again. She was too tired to listen much, and she knows so little, not nearly enough to rest her soul upon. She cannot read, so it is useless to write to her. She is going away quite out of our reach; thank God, not out of His.
She was really tired and feeling sick today, but she wouldn’t admit it, brave little thing! I could see that her head was hurting from neuralgia, and she trembled all over when she stood up; but what made it so sad for me was the silence with which she handled it all. I’ve only seen her once before, and now she’s leaving far away with her husband to another town, and I might not see her again. She was too exhausted to pay much attention, and she doesn’t know nearly enough to find comfort in it. She can’t read, so writing to her is pointless. She’s going away far beyond our reach; thank God, not beyond His.
We watched them drive off in the bullock cart, a servant walking behind. The little pale face of the elder girl looked out at the open end of the cart; she salaamed as they drove away. Such a sweet face in its silent strength, so wondrously gentle, yet so strong, strong to endure.
We watched them leave in the ox cart, with a servant walking behind. The little pale face of the older girl peeked out from the open end of the cart; she saluted as they drove away. Such a sweet face in its quiet strength, so wonderfully gentle, yet so strong, strong enough to endure.
Do you wonder I call this sort of thing a look deep down into hell? Do you wonder we burn as we think of such things going on in the Name of God? For they think of their god as God. In His Name the temples are built and endowed, and provided with "Servants" to do devil's work. Yes, sin is deified here.
Do you wonder why I call this a glimpse into hell? Do you wonder why we feel tormented when we think about these things happening in the Name of God? Because they see their god as the one true God. In His Name, the temples are built and funded, with “Servants” assigned to do the devil’s work. Yes, sin is treated like a deity here.
And the shame of shames is that some Englishmen patronise and in measure support the iniquity. They attend entertainments at which these girls are present to[192] sing and dance, and see nothing disgraceful in so doing. As lately as 1893, when the Indian Social Reformers of this Presidency petitioned two notable Englishmen to discountenance "this pernicious practice" (the institution of Slaves of the gods) "by declining to attend any entertainment at which they are invited to be present," these two distinguished men, representatives of our Queen, refused to take action in the matter. Surely this is a strange misuse of our position as rulers of India.[2]
And the biggest shame is that some Englishmen support and even encourage this wrongdoing. They go to shows where these girls are there to sing and dance, and they don't see anything wrong with it. As recently as 1893, when the Indian Social Reformers of this area asked two prominent Englishmen to oppose "this harmful practice" (the institution of Slaves of the gods) "by choosing not to attend any event where they are invited," these two notable men, who represent our Queen, refused to act on the issue. This is definitely a strange misuse of our role as rulers of India.[2]
There are so many needs everywhere that I hardly like to speak of our own, but we do need someone to work among these temple women and girls. There is practically nothing being done for them; because it is impossible for any of us to work among them and others at the same time. The nearest Home to which we could send such a one is four hundred miles away. Someone is needed, old enough to have had experience of this kind of work, and yet young enough to learn the language.
There are so many needs everywhere that I hardly want to mention our own, but we do need someone to work with these temple women and girls. There’s practically nothing being done for them because it’s impossible for any of us to work with them and others at the same time. The closest Home we could send someone to is four hundred miles away. We need someone who is experienced in this kind of work, yet young enough to learn the language.
Many of these Slaves of the gods were bought, or in some other way obtained, when they were little innocent girls, and they cannot be held responsible for the terrible life to which they are doomed by the law of the Hindu religion. Many of them have hardened past any desire to be other than they are; but sometimes we see the face of a girl who looks as if she might have desire, if only she had a chance to know there is something better for her.
Many of these slaves of the gods were purchased or somehow acquired when they were young, innocent girls, and they can't be blamed for the awful lives they are condemned to by Hindu law. Many of them have become so hardened that they no longer wish to be anything other than what they are; but every now and then, we catch a glimpse of a girl whose expression suggests she might have hopes, if only she had the opportunity to realize there's something better for her.
Can it be that, out of the many at home, God has one,[193] or better, two, who can come with Him to this South Indian District to do what must always be awful work, along the course of that crack? If she comes, or if they come, let them come in the power of the Holy Ghost, baptised with the love that endures!
Can it be that, among the many at home, God has one,[193] or even two, who can come with Him to this South Indian District to do what will always be difficult work, along the path of that crack? If she comes, or if they come, let them arrive in the power of the Holy Spirit, filled with the love that lasts!
This, then, is one look into Hinduism, this ghastly whitened sepulchre, within which are dead men's bones.[194]
This, then, is one view of Hinduism, this grim white tomb, inside which are the bones of the dead.[194]
FOOTNOTES:
CHAPTER XXII
Behind the Door
"When any person is known to be considering the new Religion, all his relations and acquaintances rise en masse; so that to get a new convert is like pulling out the eye-tooth of a live tiger."
"When someone is known to be thinking about the new Religion, all their family and friends come together; it’s like trying to pull a tooth from a live tiger to get a new convert."

In one village where many of the relations of one of these three lads live, the tiger growled considerably. One furious old dame called us "Child-snatchers and Powder-mongers," and white snakes of the cobra species, and a particular genus of lizard, which when stamped upon merely wriggles, and cannot be persuaded to die (this applied to our persistence in evil), and a great many other things. The women stood out in the street in defiant groups and would not let us near enough to explain. The men sat on the verandah fronts and smiled, blandly superior to the childish nonsense the women talked, but they did not interfere.
In a village where many relatives of one of these three boys live, the tiger growled quite a lot. One angry old woman called us “Child-snatchers and Powder-mongers,” along with white cobras and a specific type of lizard, which just wriggles when stepped on and won’t die no matter what (this referred to our stubbornness in wrongdoing), and a whole bunch of other things. The women gathered defiantly in the street and wouldn’t let us get close enough to explain. The men sat on their porches and smiled, acting superior to the silly nonsense the women were talking about, but they didn’t get involved.
Villages like this—and Old India is made up of such villages—are far removed from the influence of the few enlightened centres which exist. Madras is only a name to them, distant four hundred miles or so, a place where Caste notions are very lax and people are mixed up and jumbled together in a most unbecoming way.
Villages like this—and Old India consists of such villages—are far detached from the influence of the few enlightened centers that exist. Madras is just a name to them, about four hundred miles away, a place where caste ideas are pretty relaxed and people are mixed together in a rather unappealing way.
Education, or "Learning," as they call it, they consider an excellent thing for boys who want to come to the front and earn money and grow rich. But for girls, what possible use is it? Can they pass examinations and get into Government employ? If you answered this question you would only disgust them. Then there is a latent feeling common enough in these old Caste families, that it is rather infra dig. for their women to know too much. It may be all very well for those who have no pretensions to greatness, they may need a ladder by which to climb up the social scale, but we who are[196] already at the top, what do we want with it? "Have not our daughters got their Caste?" This feeling is passing away in the towns, but the villages hold out longer.
Education, or "Learning," as they call it, is seen as a great opportunity for boys who want to get ahead, make money, and become wealthy. But for girls, what good is it? Can they take exams and get government jobs? If you answered that, you’d just offend them. There’s also a common belief among these old caste families that it's kind of beneath them for their women to be too knowledgeable. It might be fine for those without any status to need a way to climb the social ladder, but we who are already at the top, what do we need it for? "Don’t our daughters have their caste?" This attitude is fading in the cities, but it lingers longer in the villages.
In that particular village we had some dear little girls who were getting very keen, and it was so hard to move out, and leave the field to the devil as undisputed victor thereon, and I sent one of our workers to try again. She is a plucky little soul, but even she had to beat a retreat. They will have none of us.
In that village, we had some lovely little girls who were really eager, and it was tough to leave and let the devil claim the ground without a fight. I sent one of our team to try again. She's brave, but even she had to step back. They don't want anything to do with us.
We went on that day to a village where they had listened splendidly only a week before. They had no time, it was the busy season. Then to a town, farther on, but it was quite impracticable. So we went to our friend the dear old Evangelist there, the blind old man. He and his wife are lights in that dark town. It is so refreshing to spend half an hour with two genuine good old Christians after a tug of war with the heathen; they have no idea they are helping you, but they are, and you return home ever so much the happier for the sight of them.
We went that day to a village where they had listened so well just a week earlier. They were too busy; it was the peak season. Then we headed to a town further along, but it was completely impractical. So we visited our friend, the dear old Evangelist, the blind man. He and his wife are beacons in that dark town. It’s so refreshing to spend half an hour with two truly good old Christians after struggling with the non-believers; they have no clue they're helping you, but they are, and you come home so much happier just from seeing them.
As we came home we were almost mobbed. In the old days mobs there were of common occurrence. It is a rough market town, and the people, after the first converts came, used to hoot us through the streets, and throw handfuls of sand at us, and shower ashes on our hair. In theory I like this very much, but in practice not at all. The yellings of the crowd, men chiefly, are not polite; the yelpings of the dogs, set on by sympathetic spectators; the sickening blaze of the sun and the reflected glare from the houses; the blinding dust in your eyes, and the queer feel of ashes down[197] your neck; above all, the sense that this sort of thing does no manner of good—for it is not persecution (nothing so heroic), and it will not end in martyrdom (no such honours come our way)—all this row, and all these feelings, one on the top of the other, combine to make mobbing less interesting than might be expected. You hold on, and look up for patience and good nature and such like common graces, and you pray that you may not be down with fever to-morrow—for fever has a way of stopping work—and you get out of it all, as quickly as you can, without showing undue hurry. And then, though little they know it, you go and get a fresh baptism of love for them all.
As we got home, we were nearly overwhelmed. Back in the day, crowds like that were pretty common. It's a rough market town, and once we had our first supporters, people used to jeer at us in the streets, throw handfuls of sand at us, and dump ashes on our heads. I find this concept appealing in theory, but in reality, not at all. The shouts from the crowd, mostly men, aren't polite; the barking from the dogs fueled by sympathetic onlookers; the unbearable heat of the sun and the glare bouncing off the buildings; the blinding dust in your eyes and the strange sensation of ashes down your neck; and above all, the realization that this kind of treatment doesn’t really achieve anything—it's not true persecution (nothing so noble), and it won't lead to martyrdom (no such accolades come our way)—all this noise and all these feelings piled on top of each other make being mobbed less fascinating than you'd think. You try to hold on, looking for patience and kindness and other everyday virtues while hoping you won’t come down with a fever tomorrow—because fevers have a way of interrupting your work—and you try to get away from it all as quickly as you can without appearing too rushed. And then, even though they have no idea, you go and feel a renewed sense of love for every one of them.
But how delighted one would be to go through such unromantic trifles every hour of every day, if only at the end one could get into the hearts and the homes of the people. As it is, just now, our grief is that we cannot. We know of several who want us, and we are shut out from them.
But how happy someone would be to deal with such unromantic little things every hour of every day, if only at the end they could connect with the hearts and homes of the people. As it stands right now, our sadness is that we can't. We know of several who want us, and we are kept away from them.
One is a young wife, who saw us one day by the waterside, and asked us to come and teach her. For doing this she was publicly beaten that evening in the open street, by a man, before men; so, for fear of what they would do to her, we dare not go near the house. Another is a widow who has spent all her fortune in building a rest-house for the Brahmans, and who has not found Rest. She listened once, too earnestly; she has not been allowed to listen again. Oh, how that tiger bites!
One is a young wife who saw us one day by the waterside and asked us to come and teach her. For this, she was publicly beaten that evening in the open street by a man, in front of others; so, out of fear of what they might do to her, we didn’t dare approach her house. Another is a widow who has spent all her wealth building a rest-house for the Brahmans and still hasn’t found peace. She listened once, too intently; she hasn’t been allowed to listen again. Oh, how that tiger bites!
Next door to her is a child we have prayed for for three years. She was a loving, clinging child when I knew her then, little Gold, with the earnest eyes. That[198] last day I saw her, she put her hands into mine, caring nothing for defilement; "Are we not one Caste?" she said. I did not know it was the last time I should see her; that the next time when I spoke to her I should only see her shadow in the dark; and one wishes now one had known—how much one would have said! But the house was open then, and all the houses were. Then the first girl convert, after bravely witnessing at home, took her stand as a Christian. Her Caste people burned down the little Mission school—a boys' school—and chalked up their sentiments on the charred walls. They burned down the Bible-woman's house and a school sixteen miles away; and the countryside closed, every town and village in it, as if the whole were a single door, with the devil on the other side of it.
Next door to her is a child we’ve been praying for three years. She was a loving, clingy little girl when I last saw her, sweet Gold, with those earnest eyes. That last day I saw her, she took my hands, not caring about anything else; "Aren't we all one Caste?" she asked. I didn’t realize it would be the last time I’d see her; that the next time I spoke to her, I’d only see her shadow in the dark. Now I wish I had known—there’s so much I would have said! But back then, the house was open, and all the houses were. Then the first girl convert, after bravely standing up at home, took her place as a Christian. Her Caste people burned down the little Mission school—a boys' school—and wrote their sentiments on the charred walls. They torched the Bible-woman's house and a school sixteen miles away; and the whole area closed off, every town and village in it, as if it were all a single door, with the devil waiting on the other side.
But some of the girls behind the door managed to send us messages. Gold was one of these. She wanted so much to see us again, she begged us to come and try. We tried; we met the mother outside, and asked her to let us come. She is a hard old woman, with eyes like bits of black ice, set deep in her head. She froze us, and refused.
But some of the girls behind the door managed to send us messages. Gold was one of them. She really wanted to see us again and begged us to come and try. We tried; we met her mother outside and asked her to let us in. She was a tough old woman, with eyes like pieces of black ice set deep in her head. She shut us down and refused.
Afterwards we heard what the child's punishment was. They took her down to the water, and led her in. She stood trembling, waist deep, not knowing what they meant to do. Then they held her head under the water till she made some sign to show she would give in. They released her then, rubbed ashes on her brow, sign of recantation, and they led her back sobbing—poor little girl. She is not made of martyr stuff; she was only miserable. For some months we saw nothing of her.[199] We used to go to the next house and persuade the people to let us sing to them. We sang for Gold; but we never knew if she heard.
Afterward, we found out what happened to the child. They took her to the water and led her in. She stood there, trembling, waist deep, unsure of what they were planning. Then they held her head under the water until she showed some sign that she would give in. They let her go, rubbed ashes on her forehead as a sign of recantation, and led her back, sobbing—poor little girl. She wasn't made of martyr material; she was just miserable. For several months, we didn't see her. We would go to the next house and ask the people if we could sing for them. We sang for Gold, but we never knew if she could hear us.[199]
One evening, as two of us came home late from work, a woman passed us and said hurriedly to me, "Come, come quickly, and alone. It is Gold who calls you! Come!" I followed her to the house. "I am Gold's married sister," she explained. "Sit down outside in the verandah near the door and wait till the child comes out." Then she went in, and I sat still and waited.
One evening, as the two of us were coming home late from work, a woman rushed past us and said to me, "Come, come quickly, but alone. Gold is calling for you! Come!" I followed her to the house. "I'm Gold's married sister," she explained. "Sit outside on the porch near the door and wait until the child comes out." Then she went inside, and I sat there waiting.
Those minutes were like heart-beats. What was happening inside? But apparently the mother was away, for soon the door opened softly, and a shadow flitted out, and I knew it must be Gold. She dropped on her knees on the little narrow verandah on the other side of the door and crept along to its farther end, and then I could only distinguish a dark shape in the dark. For perhaps five minutes no one came except the sister, who stood at the door and watched. And for those five minutes one was free to speak as freely as one could speak to a shape which one could barely see, and which showed no sign, and spoke no word. Five whole minutes! How one valued every moment of them! Then a man came and sat down on the verandah. He must have been a relative, for he did not mean to go. I wished he would. It was impossible to talk past him to her, without letting him know she was there; so one had to talk to him, but for her, and even this could not last long. Dusk here soon is dark; we had to go. As we went, we looked back and saw him still keeping his unconscious guard over the child in her hiding-place.[200]
Those minutes felt like heartbeats. What was going on inside? But it seemed like the mother was away, because soon the door opened quietly, and a shadow slipped out, and I knew it had to be Gold. She dropped to her knees on the narrow little verandah on the other side of the door and crawled along to the far end, and then I could only make out a dark shape in the dark. For maybe five minutes, no one came except the sister, who stood at the door and watched. And during those five minutes, one could speak as freely as possible to a shape barely visible that showed no signs and didn’t say a word. Five whole minutes! We valued every moment of them! Then a man came and sat down on the verandah. He must have been a relative because it was clear he wasn't planning to leave. I wished he would. It was impossible to talk past him to her without him knowing she was there; so we had to talk to him, but it was really for her, and even that couldn’t last long. Dusk turns to darkness quickly here; we had to go. As we left, we looked back and saw him still unknowingly guarding the child in her hiding place.[200]
There are no secrets in India. It was known that we had been there, and that stern old mother punished her child; but how, we never knew.
There are no secrets in India. Everyone knew we had been there, and that strict old mother punished her child; but how, we never found out.
If any blame us for going at all, let it be remembered that one of Christ's little ones was thirsty, and she held out her hand for a cup of cold water. We could not have left that hand empty, I think.
If anyone criticizes us for going at all, let it be remembered that one of Christ's little ones was thirsty, and she held out her hand for a cup of cold water. We couldn't leave that hand empty, I believe.
After that we heard nothing for a year; then an old man whom we had helped, and who hoped we intended to help him more, came one evening to tell us he meant to set Gold free. It was all to be secretly done, and it was to be done that night. We told him we could have nothing to do with his plan, and we explained to him why. "But," he objected, "what folly is this? I thought you Christians helped poor girls, and this one certainly wants to come. She is of age. This is the time. If you wait you will never get her at all." We knew this was more than probable; to refuse his help was like turning the key and locking her body and soul into prison—an awful thought to me, as I remembered Treasure. But there was nothing else to be done; and afterwards, when we heard who he was, and what his real intentions were, we were thankful we had done it. He looked at us curiously as he went, as if our view of things struck him as strange; and he begged us never to breathe a word of what he had said. We never did, but it somehow oozed out, and soon after that he sickened and very suddenly died. His body was burnt within two hours. Post-mortems are rare in India.
After that, we didn't hear anything for a year; then an old man we'd helped, who was hoping we would help him again, came one evening to tell us he planned to set Gold free. It was all to be done secretly, and it was meant to happen that night. We told him we couldn't be part of his plan and explained why. “But,” he argued, “what nonsense is this? I thought you Christians helped poor girls, and this one definitely wants to leave. She’s of age. This is the moment. If you wait, you’ll never get her out at all.” We knew this was likely true; to reject his offer felt like turning the key and locking her body and soul in prison—an awful thought for me, as I remembered Treasure. But there was nothing else we could do; and later, when we found out who he really was and what his true intentions were, we were glad we had refused. He looked at us oddly as he left, as if our perspective seemed strange to him; and he asked us never to mention what he had said. We never did, but it somehow got out, and soon after that, he got sick and died very suddenly. His body was cremated within two hours. Autopsies are rare in India.
Another year passed in silence as to Gold. How often we went down the street and looked across at her home,[201] with its door almost always shut, and that icy-eyed mother on guard. We used to see her going about, never far from the house. When we saw her we salaamed; then she would glare at us grimly, and turn her back on us. Once the whole family went to a festival; but the girl of course was bundled in and out of a covered cart, and seen by no one, not even the next-door neighbours. There was talk of a marriage for her. Most girls of her Caste are married much younger; but to our relief this fell through, and once one of us saw her for a moment, and she still seemed to care to hear, though she was far too cowed by this time to show it.
Another year went by in silence about Gold. How often we walked down the street and looked over at her house,[201] with its door nearly always closed, and that cold-eyed mother keeping watch. We would see her around, never far from the house. When we spotted her, we would greet her; then she would glare at us sternly and turn away. Once, the whole family went to a festival, but the girl was of course bundled in and out of a covered cart, out of sight of everyone, not even the neighbors next door. There was talk of a marriage for her. Most girls of her caste get married much younger, but thankfully, that fell through, and once one of us caught a glimpse of her for a moment, and she still seemed interested in hearing from us, although by that point she was far too intimidated to show it.
Then we heard a rumour that a girl from the Lake Village had been seen by some of our Christians in a wood near a village five miles distant. These Christians are very out-and-out and keen about converts, and they managed to discover that the girl in the wood had some thought of being a Christian, and that her being there had some connection with this, so they told us at once. The description fitted Gold. But we could not account for a girl of her Caste being seen in a wood; she was always kept in seclusion. At last we found out the truth. She had shown some sign of a lingering love for Christ, and her mother had taken her to a famous Brahman ascetic who lived in that wood; and there together, mother and daughter stayed in a hut near the hermit's hut, and for three days he had devoted himself to confuse and confound her, and finally he succeeded, and reported her convinced.
Then we heard a rumor that a girl from the Lake Village had been spotted by some of our Christians in a forest near a village five miles away. These Christians are very dedicated and eager about making converts, and they managed to find out that the girl in the woods had some interest in becoming a Christian, and that her being there was somehow connected to this, so they told us right away. The description matched Gold. But we couldn't explain how a girl of her caste was seen in a forest; she was always kept in seclusion. Eventually, we discovered the truth. She had shown some signs of a lingering love for Christ, and her mother had taken her to a well-known Brahman ascetic who lived in that forest; and there, mother and daughter stayed in a hut near the hermit's dwelling, and for three days he devoted himself to confusing and convincing her, and in the end, he succeeded and reported that she was convinced.

We heard all this, and sorrowed, and wondered how it was done. We never heard all, but we heard one[202] delusion they practised upon her, appealing as they so often do to the Oriental imagination, which finds such solid satisfaction in the supernatural. Nothing is so convincing as a vision or a dream; so a vision appeared before her, an incarnation, they told her, of Siva, in the form of Christ. Siva and Christ, then, were one, as they had so often assured her, one identity under two names. Hinduism is crammed with incarnations; this presented no difficulty. Like the old monk, the bewildered child looked for the print of the nails and the spear. Yes, they were there, marked in hands and foot and side. It must be hard to distrust one's own mother. Gold still trusted hers. "Listen!" said the mother, and the vision spoke. "If the speech of the Christians is true, I will return within twenty-four days; if the speech of the Hindus is true, I will not return." Then hour by hour for those twenty-four days they wove their webs about her, webs of wonderful sophistry which have entangled keener brains than hers. She was entangled. The twenty-four days did their work. She yielded her will on the twenty-fifth. So the mother and the Brahman won.
We heard all this, felt sad, and wondered how it was done. We didn't hear everything, but we did hear one[202] trick they played on her, appealing to the Eastern imagination, which finds great satisfaction in the supernatural. Nothing is more convincing than a vision or a dream; so a vision appeared before her, an embodiment, they told her, of Siva, in the form of Christ. Siva and Christ, they had assured her many times, were one - one identity with two names. Hinduism is filled with incarnations; this posed no problem. Like the old monk, the confused child looked for the marks of the nails and the spear. Yes, they were there, shown in hands, feet, and side. It must be hard to distrust your own mother. Gold still trusted hers. "Listen!" said the mother, and the vision spoke. "If what the Christians say is true, I will come back in twenty-four days; if what the Hindus say is true, I will not come back." So for those twenty-four days, they wove their webs around her, webs of incredible reasoning that have captured sharper minds than hers. She was caught. The twenty-four days did their job. She gave in on the twenty-fifth. So the mother and the Brahman won.
These letters are written, as you know, with a definite purpose. We try to show you what goes on behind the door, the very door of the photograph, type of all the doors, that seeing behind you may understand how fiercely the tiger bites.
These letters are written, as you know, with a clear intention. We aim to reveal what happens behind the door, the very door of the photograph, which symbolizes all doors, so that by looking beyond, you can grasp how fiercely the tiger bites.
CHAPTER XXIII
"Pan, Pan is Dead"
"If there is one thing that refreshes my soul above all others, it is that I shall behold the Redeemer gloriously triumphant at the winding up of all things."
"If there's one thing that truly lifts my spirit above everything else, it's knowing I'll see the Redeemer gloriously victorious at the end of all things."
Pan, and with him all the false gods of the old world, die in the day of the death of our Saviour,—this according to the poem—
Pan, along with all the false gods of the ancient world, dies on the day our Savior dies—this is what the poem says—
You don’t return, nor do you make any sound or sign!
No follower could guarantee your safety.
Even a tomb for your Divine;
Not a grave, to show by that,
Here lie these ancient grey gods.
"Pan, Pan is dead."
And yet—is he dead? quite dead?
And yet—is he really dead? Totally dead?
Night, moonless and hot. Our camp is pitched on the west bank of the river; we are asleep. Suddenly there is what sounds like an explosion just outside. Then another and another,—such a bursting bang,—then a s-s-swish, and I am out of bed, standing out on the sand; and for a moment I am sure the kitchen tent is on fire. Then it dawns on me, in the slow way things dawn in the middle of the night: it is only fireworks being let off by the festival people—only fireworks!
Night, hot and without a moon. Our camp is set up on the west bank of the river; we are asleep. Suddenly, it sounds like an explosion just outside. Then another and another—such a loud bang—then a s-s-swish, and I’m out of bed, standing on the sand; for a moment, I’m sure the kitchen tent is on fire. Then it hits me, in that slow way things do in the middle of the night: it’s just fireworks being set off by the festival people—just fireworks!
But I stand and look, and in the darkness everything seems much bigger than it is and much more awful. There is the gleaming of water, lit by the fires of the crowd on the eastern bank of the river. There are torches waving uncertainly in and out of the vast black mass—black even in the black of night—where the people are. There is the sudden burst and s-s-swish of the rockets as they rush up into the night, and fall in showers of colours on the black mass and the water; and there is the hoarse roar of many voices, mingled with the bleat of many goats. I stand and look, and know what is going on. They are killing those goats—thirty thousand of them—killing them now.
But I stand and watch, and in the darkness everything seems much larger and more terrifying than it really is. There's the shine of water, illuminated by the fires from the crowd on the eastern bank of the river. Torches are waving uncertainly in and out of the huge dark mass—dark even in the dead of night—where the people are. There's the sudden flash and s-s-swish of rockets soaring into the night, then showering down colors onto the dark mass and the water; and there's the rough roar of many voices, mixed with the bleating of many goats. I stand and watch, and I understand what's happening. They're killing those goats—thirty thousand of them—right now.
Is Pan dead? . . .
Is Pan gone? ...
Morning, blazing sun, relentless sun, showing up all that is going on. We are crossing the river-bed in our cart. "Don't look!" says my comrade, and I look the other way. Then we separate. She goes among the crowds in the river bed, where the sun is hottest and the air most polluted and the scenes on every side most sickening, and I go up the bank among the people. We have each a Tamil Sister with us, and farther down the[205] stream another little group of three is at work. In all seven, to tens of thousands. But we hope more will come later on.
Morning, blazing sun, relentless sun, exposing everything that’s happening. We’re crossing the riverbed in our cart. “Don’t look!” my friend says, and I turn my head away. Then we part ways. She goes into the crowds in the riverbed, where the sun is hottest, the air is the most polluted, and the sights are the most disgusting, while I head up the bank among the people. Each of us has a Tamil Sister with us, and further down the[205] stream, another small group of three is working. In total, there are seven of us, among tens of thousands. But we hope more will join us later.
We have arranged to meet at the cart at about ten o'clock. The bandy-man is directed to work his way up to a big banyan tree near the temple. He struggles up through a tangle of carts, and finds a slanting standing-ground on the edge of the shade of the tree.
We’ve set up a meeting at the cart around ten o'clock. The cart driver is instructed to make his way to a large banyan tree near the temple. He pushes through a mess of carts and finds a slanted spot at the edge of the tree's shade.
All the way up the bank they are killing and skinning their goats. You look to the right, and put your hands over your eyes. You look to the left, and do it again. You look straight in front, and see an extended skinned victim hung from the branch of a tree. Every hanging rootlet of the great banyan tree is hung with horrors—all dead, most mercifully, but horrible still.
All the way up the bank, they’re killing and skinning their goats. You look to the right and cover your eyes. You look to the left and do it again. You look straight ahead and see a skinned victim hanging from a tree branch. Every hanging root of the great banyan tree is covered in horrors—all dead, thankfully, but still horrifying.
We had thought the killing over, or we should hardly have ventured to come; but these who are busy are late arrivals. One tells oneself over and over again that a headless creature cannot possibly feel, but it looks as if it felt . . . it goes on moving. We look away, and we go on, trying to get out of it,—but thirty thousand goats! It takes a long time to get out of it.
We thought the killing was over, or we wouldn't have dared to come; but those who are still at it are latecomers. You keep telling yourself that a headless creature can't possibly feel anything, but it looks like it does... it keeps moving. We look away and try to escape it—but thirty thousand goats! It takes a long time to get away from it.
We see groups of little children watching the process delightedly. There is no intentional cruelty, for the god will not accept the sacrifice unless the head is severed by a single stroke—a great relief to me. But it is most disgusting and demoralising. And to think that these children are being taught to connect it with religion!
We see groups of small children watching the process with joy. There’s no intentional cruelty, since the god won’t accept the sacrifice unless the head is cut off in one clean stroke—a huge relief for me. But it’s really disgusting and demoralizing. And to think that these kids are being taught to link it with religion!
With me is one who used to enjoy it all. She tells me how she twisted the fowls' heads off with her own hands. I look at the fine little brown hands, such loving[206] little hands, and I can hardly believe it. "You—you do such a thing!" I say. And she says, "Yes; when the day came round to sacrifice to our family divinity, my little brother held the goat's head while my father struck it off, and I twisted the chickens' heads. It was my pleasure!"
With me is someone who used to love it all. She tells me how she twisted the heads off the chickens with her own hands. I look at her small, lovely brown hands—such caring little hands—and I can hardly believe it. "You—you could do something like that!" I say. And she replies, "Yes; when it was time to make sacrifices to our family god, my little brother held the goat's head while my father chopped it off, and I twisted the chickens' heads. It was my joy!"
We go up along the bank; still those crowds, and those goats killed or being killed. We cannot get away from them.
We walk along the riverbank; the crowds are still there, and the goats are dead or being killed. We can't escape them.
At last we reach a tree partly unoccupied, but it is leafless, alas! On one side of it a family party is cheerfully feeding behind a shelter of mats. A little lower down some Pariahs are haggling over less polite portions of the goat's economy. They wrap up the stringy things in leaves and tuck them into a fold of their seeleys. At our feet a small boy plays with the head. We sit down in the band of shade cast by the trunk of the tree, and, grateful for so much shelter, invite the passers-by to listen while we sing. Some listen. An old hag who is chaperoning a bright young wife draws the girl towards us, and sits down. She has never heard a word of our Doctrine before, and neither has the girl. Then some boys come, full of mischief and fun, and threaten an upset. So we pick out the rowdiest of them and suggest he should keep order, which he does with great alacrity, swinging a switch most vigorously at anyone likely to interfere with the welfare of the meeting.
At last, we come across a tree that isn’t too crowded, but unfortunately, it’s leafless! On one side, a family is happily eating behind a barrier of mats. A bit lower down, some stray dogs are bargaining over the less desirable parts of the goat. They wrap the chewy bits in leaves and tuck them into a fold of their clothes. At our feet, a small boy plays with the goat’s head. We sit down in the shade cast by the trunk of the tree, and feeling thankful for the shelter, we invite those passing by to listen while we sing. Some people stop to listen. An elderly woman who is watching over a bright young wife pulls the girl closer and sits down. Neither of them has ever heard our teachings before. Then some mischievous boys show up, ready for a disruption. So we select the rowdiest one and suggest that he keep the peace, which he eagerly does, swinging a stick energetically at anyone who might disrupt our gathering.
My little companion speaks to them, as only one who was once where they are ever can. I listen to her, and long for the flow at her command. "Do you not do[207] this and this?" she says, naming the very things they do; "and don't you say so and so?" They stare, and then, "Oh, she was once one of us! What is her Caste? When did she come? Where are her father and mother? What is her village? Is she not married? Why is she not? And where are her jewels?" Above all, everyone asks it at once, "What is her Caste?" And they guess it, and probably guess right.
My little friend talks to them, just like someone who has been in their shoes can. I listen to her and wish I could speak with the same fluidity she does. "Don’t you do[207] this and this?" she asks, naming exactly what they do; "and don’t you say so and so?" They are taken aback, then they say, "Oh, she used to be one of us! What is her Caste? When did she arrive? Where are her parents? What village is she from? Is she not married? Why isn’t she? And where are her jewels?" Most of all, everyone asks at the same time, "What is her Caste?" And they guess it, probably getting it right.
You can have no idea, unless you have worked among them, how difficult it is to get a heathen woman to listen with full attention for ten consecutive minutes. They are easily distracted, and to-day there are so many things to distract them, they don't listen very well. They are tired, too, they say; the wild, rough night has done its work. Yesterday it was different; we got good listeners.
You have no idea, unless you’ve worked with them, how hard it is to get a non-Christian woman to pay full attention for ten straight minutes. They get distracted easily, and nowadays there are so many distractions that they don’t listen well. They say they’re tired too; the wild, rough night has taken its toll. Yesterday was different; we had good listeners.
Being women, and alone in such a crowd of idolaters, we do not attempt an open-air meeting, but just sit quietly where we can, and talk to any we can persuade to sit down beside us. Hindus are safer far than Mohammedans; they are very seldom rude; but to-day we know enough of what is going on to make us keep clear of all men, if we can. They would not say anything much to us, but they might say a good deal to each other which is better left unsaid.
Being women, and alone in a crowd full of idolaters, we don’t try to hold a public meeting; instead, we just sit quietly where we can and talk to anyone we can convince to sit down next to us. Hindus are much safer than Muslims; they hardly ever behave rudely. However, today we know enough about what's happening to avoid all men if possible. They probably wouldn’t say much directly to us, but they might share a lot with each other that’s better left unsaid.
By the time we have gathered, and held, and then had to let go, three or four of such little groups, it is breakfast time, and we want our breakfast badly. So we press through the crowd, diving under mat sheds and among unspeakable messes, heaps of skins on either side, and one hardly knows what under every foot of innocent-looking sand; for the people bury the débris lightly, throwing[208] a handful of sand on the worst, and the sun does the rest of the sanitation. It is rather horrible.
By the time we've gathered, held, and then had to let go of three or four of these small groups, it's breakfast time, and we're really craving our meal. So we push through the crowd, ducking under mat sheds and navigating through disgusting messes, piles of skins on either side, and one can hardly guess what's lurking under every patch of innocent-looking sand; people lightly bury the trash, tossing a handful of sand over the worst parts, and the sun takes care of the rest of the cleanup. It's pretty horrible.
At last we reach the cart, tilted sideways on the bank, and get through our breakfast somehow, and rest for a few blissful minutes, in most uncomfortable positions, before plunging again into that sea of sun and sand and animals, human and otherwise; and then we part, arranging to meet when we cannot go on any more.
At last we arrive at the cart, leaning to one side on the bank, and we manage to have our breakfast somehow, taking a few blissful minutes to rest in the most uncomfortable positions before diving back into that sea of sun, sand, and creatures, both human and animal; and then we say our goodbyes, planning to reconnect when we can’t keep going any longer.
Is Pan dead? . . .
Is Pan dead? . . .
Noon, and hotter, far hotter, than ever. Oh, how the people throng and push, and kill and eat, and bury remains! How can they enjoy it so? What can be the pleasure in it?
Noon, and hotter, way hotter, than ever. Oh, how the people crowd and shove, and kill and eat, and bury the leftovers! How can they enjoy it so much? What could possibly be the pleasure in it?
We find our way back to that ribbon of shade. It is a narrower ribbon now, because the sun, riding overhead, throws the shadow of a single bough, instead of the broader trunk. But such as it is, we are glad of it, and again we gather little groups, and talk to them, and sing.
We make our way back to that strip of shade. It's a narrower strip now, because the sun is high above, casting the shadow of just one branch instead of the wider trunk. But as it is, we're happy for it, and we once again form little groups, chatting and singing.
Some beautiful girls pass us close, the only girls to be seen anywhere. Only little children and wives come here; no good unmarried girls. One of the group is dressed in white, but most are in vivid purples and crimsons. The girl in white has a weary look, the work of the night again. But most of the sisterhood are indoors; in the evening we shall see more of them, scattered among the people, doing their terrible master's work. These pass us without speaking, and mingle in the crowd.
Some beautiful girls walk past us closely, the only girls you'll see around here. Only little kids and wives come here; there are no decent single girls. One of the group is dressed in white, but most are in bright purples and reds. The girl in white looks tired, probably from last night’s work. But most of the other girls are inside; in the evening, we'll see more of them, blending in with the crowd, doing their terrible master's work. They walk by us without saying a word and mix in with the crowd.
After an hour in the band of shade, we slowly climb the bank again, and find ourselves among the potters,[209] hundreds and hundreds of them. Every family buys a pot, and perhaps two or three of different sizes; so the potters drive a brisk trade to-day, and have no leisure to listen to us.
After an hour in the shade, we slowly make our way back up the bank and find ourselves among the potters,[209] hundreds and hundreds of them. Every family buys at least one pot, and maybe two or three in different sizes; so the potters are doing good business today and don’t have time to listen to us.
It is getting very much hotter now, for the burning sand and the thousands of fires radiate heat-waves up through the air, heated already stiflingly. We think of our comrades down in the river bed, reeking with odours of killing and cooking, a combination of abominations unimagined by me before.
It’s getting really hot now, with the burning sand and the countless fires sending heat waves up through the already suffocating air. We think about our friends down in the riverbed, surrounded by the stench of death and cooking, a mix of horrors I never imagined before.
We look down upon a collection of cart tops. The palm-woven mat covers are massed in brown patches all over the sand, and the moving crowds are between. We do not see the others. Have they found it as difficult as we find it, we wonder, to get any disengaged enough to want to listen? At last we reach the long stone aisle leading to the temple. On either side there are lines of booths, open to the air but shaded from the sun, and we persuade a friendly stall-keeper to let us creep into her shelter. She is cooking cakes on the ground. She lets us into an empty corner, facing the passing crowds, and one or two, and then two or three, and so on till we have quite a group, stop as they pass, and squat down in the shade and listen for a little. Then an old lady, with a keen old face, buys a Gospel portion at half price, and folds it carefully in a corner of her seeley. Two or three others buy Gospels, and all of them want tracts. The shop-woman gets a bit restive at this rivalry of wares. We spend our farthings, proceeds of our sales, on her cakes, and she is mollified. But some new attraction in the gallery leading to the temple disperses our little audience,[210] to collect it round itself. The old woman explains that the Gospel she has bought is for her grandson, a scholar, she tells us, aged five, and moves off to see the new show, and we move off with her.
We overlook a cluster of cart tops. The palm-woven mat covers are scattered in brown patches all over the sand, with the moving crowds in between. We can't see the others. We wonder if they’re finding it as tough as we are to find someone willing to listen. Finally, we reach the long stone aisle leading to the temple. On either side are rows of booths, open to the air but shaded from the sun, and we convince a friendly stall owner to let us hide in her shelter. She’s cooking cakes on the ground. She lets us into an empty corner, facing the passing crowds, and one or two, then two or three, and soon a whole group stops as they pass, squatting down in the shade to listen for a bit. Then an old woman, with a sharp old face, buys a Gospel portion at half price and carefully folds it into a corner of her shawl. A few others buy Gospels, and they all ask for tracts. The shop owner becomes a little annoyed at this competition. We spend our small coins, the profits from our sales, on her cakes, and she calms down. But a new attraction in the gallery leading to the temple pulls our small audience away, gathering their attention. The old woman explains that the Gospel she bought is for her five-year-old grandson, a scholar, she tells us, and she heads off to see the new show, and we follow her.
There, in the first stall, between the double row of pillars, a man is standing on a form, whirling a sort of crackling rattle high above his head. In the next, another is yelling to call attention to his clocks. There they are, ranged tier upon tier, regular "English" busy-bee clocks, ticking away, as a small child remarks, as if they were alive. Then come sweet-stalls, clothes-stalls, lamp-stalls, fruit-stalls, book-stalls, stalls of pottery, and brass vessels, and jewellery, and basket work, and cutlery, and bangles in wheelbarrow loads, and medicines, and mats, and money boxes, and anything and everything of every description obtainable here. In each stall is a stall-keeper. Occasionally one, like the clock-stall man, exerts himself to sell his goods; more often he lazes in true Oriental fashion, and sells or not as fortune decides for him, equally satisfied with either decree. How Indian shopkeepers live at all is always a puzzle to me. They hardly ever seem to do anything but moon.
There, in the first stall, between the double row of pillars, a man is standing on a platform, spinning a kind of crackling rattle high above his head. In the next stall, another man is shouting to grab attention for his clocks. There they are, arranged tier upon tier, typical "English" busy-bee clocks, ticking away, as a small child points out, as if they were alive. Then come sweet stalls, clothing stalls, lamp stalls, fruit stalls, book stalls, stalls selling pottery, brass vessels, jewelry, basket work, cutlery, and loads of bangles, along with medicines, mats, money boxes, and anything and everything of every kind available here. Each stall has a stall-keeper. Occasionally, one, like the clock-stall guy, puts in some effort to sell his goods; more often he relaxes in true Oriental style, selling or not based on luck, content with either outcome. I always wonder how Indian shopkeepers manage to stay in business. They hardly ever seem to do anything but just hang around.
On and on, in disorderly but perfectly good-natured streams, the people are passing up to the temple, or coming down from worship there. All who come down have their foreheads smeared with white ashes. Even here there are goats; they are being pulled, poor reluctant beasts, right to the steps of the shrine, there to be dedicated to the god within. Then they will be dragged, still reluctant, round the temple walls outside, then decapitated.[211]
People are streaming up to the temple or coming down from worshiping there, all in a cheerful but chaotic way. Everyone who comes down has white ashes smeared on their foreheads. There are goats here too; they're being pulled along, poor unwilling creatures, all the way to the shrine to be dedicated to the god inside. After that, they'll be dragged, still unwilling, around the outside of the temple walls and then beheaded.[211]
I watch a baby tug a goat by a rope tied round its neck. The goat has horns, and I expect every moment to see the baby gored. But it never seems to enter into the goat's head to do anything so aggressive. It tugs, however, and the baby tugs, till a grown-up comes to the baby's assistance, and all three struggle up to the shrine.
I see a baby pulling a goat using a rope around its neck. The goat has horns, and I keep expecting the baby to get hurt. But it never seems to cross the goat's mind to act so violently. Both the baby and the goat pull against each other until an adult comes to help the baby, and all three make their way to the shrine.
We are standing now in an empty stall, just a little out of the crush. Next door is an assortment of small Tamil booklets in marvellous colours, orange and green predominating. There is an empty barrel rolled into the corner, and we sit down on it, and begin to read from our Book. This causes a diversion in the flow of the stream, and we get another chance.
We are now standing in an empty stall, just a bit away from the crowd. Next door is a collection of small Tamil booklets in vibrant colors, with orange and green being the main ones. There's an empty barrel pushed into the corner, and we sit on it and start reading from our Book. This interrupts the flow of things, and we get another shot.
But it grows hotter and hotter, and we get so thirsty, and long for a drink of cocoanut water. It is always safe to drink that. No cocoanuts are available, though, and we have no money. Then a man selling native butter-milk comes working his way in and out of the press, and we become conscious that of all things in the world the thing we yearn for most is a drink of butter-milk. The man stops in front of our stall, pours out a cupful of that precious liquid, and seeing the thirst in our eyes, I suppose, beseeches us to drink. We explain our penniless plight. "Buy our books, and we'll buy your butter-milk," but he does not want our books. Then we wish we had not squandered our farthings on those impossible cakes. The butter-milk man proposes he should trust us for the money; he is sure to come across us again. He is a kind-hearted man; but debt is a sin; it is not likely we shall see him again. The butter-milk man considers.[212] He is poor, but we are thirsty. To give drink to the thirsty is an act of merit. Acts of merit come in useful, both in this world and the next. He pours out a cupful of butter-milk (he had poured the first one back when we showed our empty hands). We hesitate; he is poor, but we are so very thirsty. The next stall-keeper reads our hearts, throws a halfpenny to the butter-milk man. "There!" he says, "drink to the limit of your capacity!" and we drink. It is a comical feeling, to be beholden to a seller of small Tamil literature of questionable description; but we really are past drawing nice distinctions. Never was butter-milk so good; we get through three brass tumbler-fuls between us, and feel life worth living again. We give the good bookseller plenty of books to cover his halfpenny, and to gratify us he accepts them; but as he does not really require them, doubtless the merit he has acquired is counted as undiminished, and we part most excellent friends.
But it’s getting hotter and hotter, and we’re so thirsty, longing for a drink of coconut water. That’s always a safe choice. Unfortunately, we can’t find any coconuts, and we don’t have any money. Then, a guy selling local buttermilk makes his way through the crowd, and we realize that what we really want more than anything in the world is a drink of buttermilk. He stops in front of our stall, pours out a cup of that precious liquid, and seeing the thirst in our eyes, he kindly encourages us to drink. We explain that we don’t have any money. “Buy our books, and we’ll buy your buttermilk,” but he isn’t interested in our books. Then we regret wasting our small coins on those terrible cakes. The buttermilk man suggests that he can trust us for the money; he’s sure we’ll run into each other again. He’s a kind-hearted guy, but owing money is a sin, and it’s unlikely we’ll see him again. The buttermilk man thinks about it. He’s poor, but we’re thirsty. Giving a drink to the thirsty is a good deed. Good deeds are useful, both in this life and the next. He pours out another cup of buttermilk (he’d poured the first one back when he saw our empty hands). We hesitate; he’s poor, but we’re really thirsty. The next stall owner reads our minds and tosses a halfpenny to the buttermilk man. “There!” he says, “drink as much as you can!” and we drink. It feels strange to owe gratitude to a seller of small Tamil literature of questionable quality, but we’re too desperate to care. Never has buttermilk tasted so good; we down three brass tumblers between us and feel like life is worth living again. We give the generous bookseller plenty of books to cover his halfpenny, and to be nice, he accepts them; but since he doesn’t really need them, the good deed he’s done is likely still counted as intact, and we part as great friends.
And now the crowd streaming up to the temple gets denser every moment. Every conceivable phase of devotion is represented here, every conceivable type of worshipper too. Some are reverent, some are rampant, some are earnest, some are careless, awestruck, excited, but more usually perfectly frivolous; on and on they stream.
And now the crowd headed to the temple is getting thicker by the second. Every possible form of devotion is represented here, and every kind of worshipper too. Some are respectful, some are rowdy, some are sincere, some are indifferent, amazed, excited, but more often completely carefree; they keep coming.
I leave my Tamil Sister safely with two others at the cart. But the comrade whom I am to meet again at that same cart some time to-day has not turned up. So I go off alone for another try, drawn by the sight of that stream, and I let myself drift along with it, and am caught in it and carried up—up, till I am within the[213] temple wall, one of a stream of men and women streaming up to the shrine. We reach it at last. It is dark; I can just see an iron grating set in darkness, with a light somewhere behind, and there, standing on the very steps of Satan's seat, there is a single minute's chance to witness for Christ. The people are all on their faces in the dust and the crush, and for that single minute they listen, amazed at hearing any such voice in here; but it would not do to stay, and, before they have time to make up their minds what to make of it, I am caught in another stream flowing round to the right, and find myself in a quieter place, a sort of eddy on the outer edge of the whirlpool, where the worship is less intense, and very many women are sitting gossiping.
I leave my Tamil sister safely with two others at the cart. But the friend I'm supposed to meet again at that same cart later today hasn’t shown up. So, I head off alone for another attempt, drawn by the sight of that stream, and I let myself drift along with it, getting caught and carried up—up, until I’m inside the[213] temple wall, part of a crowd of men and women making their way to the shrine. We finally reach it. It’s dark; I can barely see an iron grating set in the darkness, with a light somewhere behind it, and there, standing on the very steps of Satan's seat, there's a brief opportunity to witness for Christ. Everyone is on their faces in the dust and the chaos, and for that brief moment, they listen, surprised to hear any voice in here; but I can’t stay, and before they have time to decide what to make of it, I get swept into another stream flowing to the right and find myself in a quieter spot, kind of an eddy on the outer edge of the whirlpool, where the worship is less intense, and many women are sitting around gossiping.
There, sitting on the ground beside one of the smaller shrines which cluster round the greater, I have such a chance as I never expected to get; for the women and children are so astonished to see a white face in here that they throw all restraint to the winds, and crowd round me, asking questions about how I got in. For Indian temples are sacred to Indians; no alien may pass within the walls to the centre of the shrine; moreover, we never go to the temples to see the parts that are open to view, because we know the stumbling-block such sight-seeing is to the Hindus. All this the women know, for everything a missionary does or does not do is observed by these observant people, and commented on in private. Now, as they gather round me, I tell them why I have come (how I got in I cannot explain, unless it was, as the women declared, that, being in a seeley, one[214] was not conspicuous), and they take me into confidence, and tell me the truth about themselves, which is the last thing they usually tell, and strikes me as strange; and they listen splendidly, and would listen as long as I would stay. But it is not wise to stay too long, and I get into the stream again, which all this time has been pouring round the inner block of the temple, and am carried round with it as it pours back and out.
There, sitting on the ground next to one of the smaller shrines that surround the larger one, I find myself in a situation I never expected; the women and children are so surprised to see a white face here that they ignore all their reservations and gather around me, asking questions about how I got in. Indian temples are sacred to Indians; no outsider can enter the walls to reach the center of the shrine. Plus, we don’t go to the temples just to see the parts that are visible because we know how disruptive this kind of sightseeing can be for the Hindus. The women understand all this since everything a missionary does or doesn't do is closely observed and discussed among them. As they gather around me, I explain why I have come (how I got in I can't clarify, unless it was, as the women said, that being in a seeley made me less noticeable), and they open up to me, sharing the truth about themselves, which they usually keep to themselves and strikes me as unusual; they listen intently and would keep listening as long as I would stay. But it's not wise to linger too long, so I rejoin the stream that has been flowing around the inner block of the temple all this time, and I'm carried along with it as it flows back out.
And as I pass out, still in that stream, I notice that the temple area is crowded with all kinds of merchandise, stalls of all sorts, just as outside. Vendors of everything, from mud pots up to jewels, are roaming over the place crying their wares, as if they had been in a market; and right in the middle of them the worship goes on at the different shrines and before the different idols. There it is, market and temple, as in the days of our Lord; neither seems to interfere with the other. No one seems to see anything incongruous in the sight of a man prostrated before a stone set at the back of a heap of glass bangles. And when someone drops suddenly, and sometimes reverently, in front of a stall of coils of oily cakes, no one sees anything extraordinary in it; they know there is a god somewhere on the other side of the cakes.
And as I pass out, still in that stream, I notice that the temple area is packed with all kinds of merchandise, stalls of all sorts, just like outside. Vendors selling everything, from clay pots to jewels, are moving around the place shouting about their goods, as if it were a market; and right in the middle of them, the worship continues at the different shrines and in front of the various idols. There it is, market and temple, just like in the days of our Lord; neither seems to bother the other. No one seems to find anything strange about seeing a man bowing down before a stone set behind a pile of glass bangles. And when someone suddenly drops down, sometimes reverently, in front of a stall of oily cake coils, no one thinks it’s unusual; they know there’s a god somewhere on the other side of the cakes.
On and out, through the aisle with its hundred pillars, all stone—stone paving, pillars, roof; on and out, into the glare and the sight of the goats again. But one hardly sees them now, for between them and one's eyes seem to come the things one saw inside—those men and women, hundreds of them, worshipping that which is not God.[215]
On and off, through the aisle with its hundred pillars, all stone—stone flooring, pillars, ceiling; on and off, into the bright light and the sight of the goats again. But one barely notices them now, because between them and one's eyes seem to come the things one saw inside—those men and women, hundreds of them, worshipping what is not God.[215]
Is Pan dead? . . .
Is Pan gone? ...
Pan is dead! Oh, Pan is dead! For, clearer than the sight of that idolatrous crowd, I saw this—I had seen it inside those temple walls:—a pile of old, dead gods. They were bundled away in a corner, behind the central shrine—stone gods, mere headless stumps; wooden gods with limbs lopped off; clay gods, mere lumps of mud; mutilated and neglected, worn-out old gods. Oh, the worship once offered to those broken, battered things! No one worships them now! For full five minutes I had sat and looked at them—
Pan is dead! Oh, Pan is dead! Because, clearer than the sight of that worshipping crowd, I saw this—I had seen it within those temple walls:—a heap of old, dead gods. They were shoved away in a corner, behind the main altar—stone gods, just headless stumps; wooden gods with missing limbs; clay gods, just clumps of mud; damaged and forgotten, worn-out old gods. Oh, the devotion that used to be offered to those broken, battered remnants! No one worships them now! For five full minutes, I sat and stared at them—
With your purples torn apart!
Gods overthrown and disrespected,
Disinherited of thunder!
And as I came out among the living people, the sight of that graveyard of dead gods was ever with me, and the triumph-song God's prophetess sang, sang itself through and through me—Pan is dead! Quite dead!
And as I stepped back into the world of the living, the image of that graveyard of dead gods stayed with me, and the triumph song sung by God's prophetess echoed in my mind—Pan is dead! Completely dead!
Hung on a cross for the sake of love;
When His forehead was cold with death,
And His soul was weak from loss;
When His priestly blood fell down,
And His regal eyes gazed toward the throne—
Then, Pan was gone.
[216] "By the love He stood alone in,
His only God rose fully,
And the false gods fell down, groaning,
Each stepped down from his golden seat;
All the fake gods with a shout
Gave their god a sacrifice—
"Pan is dead."
CHAPTER XXIV
"Married to the God"
"One thing one notices very much as a 'freshman'—that is, the unconscious influence which Christianity has over a nation. Go to the most depraved wretch you can find in England, and he has probably got a conscience, if only one can get at it. But here the result of heathenism seems to be to destroy men's consciences. They never feel sin as such."
"One thing that really stands out as a 'freshman' is the unacknowledged influence that Christianity has on a country. If you find the most depraved person in England, they likely still have a conscience, if only you can reach it. But here, the effect of paganism appears to be the total erasure of people's consciences. They don’t perceive sin for what it is."
"I have heard people say they enjoyed hearing about missions. I often wonder if they would enjoy watching a shipwreck."
"I've heard people say they liked hearing about missions. I often wonder if they'd enjoy watching a shipwreck."
I was coming home from work a few evenings ago when I met two men and a child. They were Caste men in flowing white scarves—dignified, educated men. But the child? She glanced up at me, smiled, and[218] salaamed. Then I remembered her; I had seen her before in her own home. These men belonged to her village. What were they doing with her?
I was coming home from work a few evenings ago when I met two men and a child. They were Caste men in flowing white scarves—dignified, educated men. But the child? She looked up at me, smiled, and salaamed. Then I remembered her; I had seen her before in her own home. These men were from her village. What were they doing with her?
Then a sudden fear shot through me, and I looked at the men, and they laughed. "We are taking her to the temple there," and they pointed across through the trees, "to marry her to the god."
Then a sudden fear shot through me, and I looked at the men, and they laughed. "We're taking her to that temple over there," and they pointed through the trees, "to marry her to the god."
It all passed in a moment. One of them caught her hand, and they went on. I stood looking after them—just looking. The child turned once and waved her little hand to me. Then the trees came between.
It all happened in an instant. One of them took her hand, and they moved on. I stood there watching them—just watching. The child turned back once and waved her little hand at me. Then the trees blocked my view.
The men's faces haunted me all night. I slept, and saw them in my dreams; I woke, and saw them in the dark. And that little girl—oh, poor little girl!—always I saw her, one hand in theirs, and the other waving to me!
The men's faces haunted me all night. I slept, and saw them in my dreams; I woke, and saw them in the dark. And that little girl—oh, poor little girl!—I always saw her, one hand in theirs, and the other waving to me!
And now it is over, the diabolical farce is over, and she is "tied," as their idiom has it, "tied to the stone." Oh, she is tied indeed, tied with ropes Satan twisted in his cruellest hour in hell!
And now it’s done, the twisted joke is over, and she is "tied," as they say, "tied to the stone." Oh, she is tied indeed, bound with ropes that Satan twisted in his cruelest moment in hell!
We had to drive through the village a night or two later, and it was all ablaze. There was a crowd, and it broke to let our bullock carts pass, then it closed round two palanquins.
We had to drive through the village a night or two later, and it was all on fire. There was a crowd that parted to let our bullock carts through, then it closed around two palanquins.
There were many men there, and girls. In the palanquins were two idols, god and goddess, out on view. It was their wedding night. We saw it all as we passed: the gorgeous decorations, gaudy tinsels, flowers fading in the heat and glare; saw, long after we had passed, the gleaming of the coloured lights, as they moved among the trees; heard for a mile and more along the road the[219] sound of that heathen revelry; and every thud of the tom-tom was a thud upon one's heart. Our little girl was there, as one "married" to that god.
There were a lot of men and girls there. In the palanquins were two idols, a god and a goddess, on display. It was their wedding night. We saw everything as we passed: the beautiful decorations, flashy tinsel, flowers wilting in the heat and brightness; we saw, long after we had gone by, the glow of the colored lights as they flickered among the trees; we heard the sound of that wild celebration for a mile and more along the road, and every beat of the drum felt like a beat against one's heart. Our little girl was there, as if she were "married" to that god.
I had seen her only once before. She belonged to an interesting high-caste village, one of those so lately closed; and because there they have a story about the magic powder which, say what we will, they imagine I dust upon children's faces, I had not gone often lest it should shut the doors. But that last time I went, this child came up to me, and, with all the confidingness of a child, asked me to take her home with me. "Do let me come!" she said.
I had only seen her once before. She was from an intriguing high-caste village that had recently closed; they have this story about the magic powder that they believe I sprinkle on children's faces, and I didn’t visit often because I didn't want to risk them shutting their doors. But the last time I was there, this girl approached me and, with all the trust of a child, asked me to take her home with me. "Please let me come!" she said.
There were eyes upon me in a moment and heads shaken knowingly, and there were whispers at once among the women. The magic dust had been at work! I had "drawn" the little girl's heart to myself. Who could doubt it now? And one mother gathered her child in her arms and disappeared into the house. So I had to answer carefully, so that everyone could hear. Of course I knew they would not give her to me, and I thought no more of it.
There were eyes on me in an instant and heads shook knowingly, followed by whispers among the women. The magic dust had worked its charm! I had "captured" the little girl's heart. Who could doubt it now? One mother picked up her child and quickly went inside the house. So I had to respond carefully, making sure everyone could hear. Of course, I knew they wouldn’t let me have her, and I didn’t think about it anymore.
I was talking to her grandmother then, a very remarkable old lady. She could repeat page after page from their beloved classics, and rather than let me sing Christian stanzas to her and explain them, she preferred to sing Hindu stanzas to me and explain them. "Consider the age of our great Religion, consider its literature—millions of stanzas! What can you have to compare with it? These ignorant people about us do not appreciate things. They know nothing of the classics; as for the language, the depths of Tamil are beyond[220] them—is it not a shoreless sea?" And so she held the conversation.
I was talking to her grandmother at that time, an extraordinary old lady. She could recite page after page from their cherished classics, and instead of letting me sing Christian hymns to her and explain them, she preferred to sing Hindu verses to me and explain those. "Think about the age of our great Religion, think about its literature—millions of verses! What could you possibly compare it to? These uninformed people around us don’t appreciate these things. They know nothing about the classics; as for the language, the depths of Tamil are beyond[220] them—isn’t it like a boundless sea?" And she continued the conversation.

It was just at this point the child reappeared, and, standing by the verandah upon which we were sitting, her little head on a level with our feet, she joined in the stanza her grandmother was chanting, and, to my astonishment, continued through the next and the next, while I listened wondering. Then jumping up and down, first on one foot, then on the other, with her little face full of delight at my evident surprise, she told me she was learning much poetry now; and then, with the merriest little laugh, she ran off again to play.
It was just then that the child came back, and standing on the porch where we were sitting, her tiny head level with our feet, she joined in the verse her grandmother was singing. To my surprise, she kept going with the next line and then the next, as I listened in wonder. Then, jumping up and down on one foot and then the other, her little face beaming with joy at my clear surprise, she told me she was learning a lot of poetry now; and with the happiest little laugh, she ran off again to play.
And this was the child. All that brightness, all that intelligence, "married to a god."
And this was the child. All that brightness, all that intelligence, "married to a god."
Now I understood the question she had asked me. She was an orphan, as we afterwards heard, living in charge of an old aunt, who had some connection with the temple. She must have heard her future being discussed, and not understanding it, and being frightened, had wondered if she might come to us. But they had taken their own way of reconciling her to it; a few sweets, a cake or two, and a promise of more, a vision of the gay time the magic word marriage conjures up, and the child was content to go with them, to be led to the temple—and left there.
Now I understood the question she had asked me. She was an orphan, as we later heard, living with an old aunt who had some connection to the temple. She must have overheard discussions about her future and, not understanding it and feeling scared, wondered if she could come to us. But they had their own way of getting her used to the idea; a few sweets, a couple of cakes, a promise of more treats, and a glimpse of the fun that the word marriage brings, and the child was okay with going with them, being taken to the temple—and left there.
But her people were so thoroughly refined and nice, so educated too,—could it be, can it be, possibly true? Yes, it is true; this is Hinduism—not in theory of course, but in practice. Think of it; it is done to-day.
But her people were so completely refined and nice, so educated too—could it be, can it be, possibly true? Yes, it is true; this is Hinduism—not in theory, of course, but in practice. Think about it; it happens today.
A moment ago I looked up from my writing and saw the little Elf running towards me, charmed to find me all[221] alone, and quite at leisure for her. And now I watch her as she runs, dancing gleefully down the path, turning again—for she knows I am watching—to throw kisses to me. And I think of her and her childish ways, naughty ways so often, too, but in their very naughtiness only childish and small, and I shiver as I think of her, and a thousand thousand as small as she, being trained to be devil's toys. They brought one here a few days ago to act as decoy to get the Elf back. She was a beautiful child of five. Think of the shame of it!
A moment ago, I looked up from my writing and saw the little Elf running towards me, excited to find me all alone and free to play with her. Now, I watch her as she runs, dancing joyfully down the path, turning back—because she knows I'm watching—to blow kisses at me. I think about her and her childish ways, often naughty ways too, but in their very naughtiness, they’re just playful and small. It gives me chills to think of her and so many others like her being trained to be devil's toys. They brought one here a few days ago to act as bait to lure the Elf back. She was a beautiful child of five. Can you imagine the shame of it!
We are told to modify things, not to write too vividly, never to harrow sensitive hearts. Friends, we cannot modify truth, we cannot write half vividly enough; and as for harrowing hearts, oh that we could do it! That we could tear them up, that they might pour out like water! that we could see hands lifted up towards God for the life of these young children! Oh, to care, and oh for power to make others care, not less but far, far more! care till our eyes do fail with tears for the destruction of the daughters of our people!
We’re told to tone things down, not to write too intensely, and to avoid upsetting sensitive people. But friends, we can’t dilute the truth; we can’t write with too little intensity. And as for upsetting hearts, how I wish we could! How great it would be to rip them apart so they pour out like water! To see hands raised to God for the lives of these young children! Oh, to care, and oh for the ability to make others care—not less, but so much more! Care until our eyes run dry from tears for the destruction of our daughters!
This photo is from death in life; a carcass, moving, breathing, sinning—such a one sits by that child to-day.
This photo is from a life that's just existing; a corpse, moving, breathing, sinning—just like one that sits next to that child today.
I saw him once. There is a monastery near the temple. He is "the holiest man in it"; the people worship him. The day I saw him they had wreathed him with fresh-cut flowers; white flowers crowned that hideous head, hung round his neck and down his breast; a servant in front carried flowers. Was there ever such desecration? That vileness crowned with flowers!
I saw him once. There's a monastery near the temple. He is "the holiest man in it"; the people worship him. The day I saw him, they had decorated him with fresh-cut flowers; white flowers adorned that ugly head, draped around his neck and down his chest; a servant in front carried flowers. Was there ever such desecration? That filth crowned with flowers!
I knew something about the man. His life is simply unthinkable. Talk of beasts in human shape! It is[222] slandering the good animals to compare bad men to beasts. Safer far a tiger's den than that man's monastery.
I knew a little about the man. His life is truly unimaginable. Talking about beasts in human form! It is[222] disrespecting the good animals to compare bad people to beasts. A tiger's den is much safer than that man's monastery.
But he is a temple saint, wise in the wisdom of his creed; earthly, sensual, devilish. Look at him till you feel as if you had seen him. Let the photo do its work. It is loathsome—yes, but true.
But he is a holy figure, knowledgeable in the beliefs of his faith; earthly, sensual, and wicked. Stare at him until you feel like you've truly seen him. Let the photo do its job. It's disgusting—yes, but true.
Now, put a flower in his hand—a human flower this time. Now put beside him, if you can, a little girl—your own little girl—and leave her there—yes, leave her there in his hand.
Now, put a flower in his hand—a real flower this time. Now, if you can, place a little girl next to him—your own little girl—and leave her there—yes, leave her there in his hand.
CHAPTER XXV
Skirting the Abyss
"The first thing for us all is to see and feel the great need, and to create a sentiment among Christian people on this subject. One of the characteristics of this great system is its secrecy—its subtlety. So few know of the evils of child-marriage, it is so hidden away in the secluded lives and prison homes of the people. And those of us who enter beyond these veils, and go down into these homes, are so apt to feel that it is a case of the inevitable, and nothing can be done."
"The first thing we all need to do is to see and feel the urgent need and to build a sense of awareness among Christians about this issue. One of the hallmarks of this serious problem is its secrecy—its subtlety. Very few know about the harms of child marriage; it’s so hidden away in the isolated lives and confined homes of the community. And those of us who look beyond these barriers and enter these homes often feel that it’s just an inevitable situation and that nothing can be done."
I asked him about the child. It was true. She was in the temple, "married to the stone." Yes, it was true they had taken her there that day.
I asked him about the child. It was true. She was in the temple, "married to the stone." Yes, it was true they had taken her there that day.
I asked if the family were poor; but he said, "Do not for a moment think that poverty was the cause. Certainly not. Our village is not poor!" And he looked quite offended at the thought. I knew the village was[224] rich enough, but had thought perhaps that particular family might be poor, and so tempted to sell the little one; but he exclaimed with great warmth, Certainly not. The child was a relative of his own; there was no question of poverty!
I asked if the family was poor, but he said, "Don’t for a second think that poverty is the reason. Absolutely not. Our village isn’t poor!" And he looked really offended by the idea. I knew the village was[224]rich enough, but I had thought that particular family might be struggling and tempted to sell the little one. But he replied with a lot of passion, "Definitely not. The child is a relative of his; there’s no question of poverty!"
We had left the school, and were talking out in the street facing the temple house. I looked at it, he looked at it. "From hence a passage broad, smooth, easy, inoffensive, down to hell"; he knew it well. "Yes, she is a relative of my own," he continued, and explained minutely the degree of relationship. "Her grandmother, whom you doubtless remember, is not like the ignorant women of these parts. She has learning." And again he repeated, as if desirous of thoroughly convincing me as to the satisfactory nature of the transaction, "Certainly she was not sold. She is a relative of my own."
We had left the school and were chatting on the street in front of the temple house. I stared at it, he stared at it. "From here, there's a wide, smooth, easy path straight down to hell"; he was familiar with that. "Yeah, she’s a relative of mine," he continued, and explained exactly how we were related. "Her grandmother, who you probably remember, isn’t like the ignorant women around here. She’s educated." And again he emphasized, as if eager to make sure I understood the legitimacy of the situation, "For sure, she wasn’t sold. She’s a relative of mine."
A relative of his own! And he could teach his school outside those walls, and know what was going on inside, and never raise a finger to stop it, educated Hindu though he is. I could not understand it.
A relative of his own! And he could teach his class outside those walls, know what was happening inside, and never lift a finger to stop it, even though he's an educated Hindu. I just couldn't understand it.
He seemed quite concerned at my concern, but explained that for generations one of that particular household had always been devoted to the gods. The practice could not be defended; it was the custom. That was all. "Our custom."
He appeared to be quite worried about my worry but explained that for generations, someone from that household had always been dedicated to the gods. The practice couldn't be justified; it was simply the tradition. That was it. "Our tradition."
A stone's-throw from his door is another child who is living a strangely unnatural life, which strikes no one as unnatural because it is "our custom." She is quite a little girl, and as playful as a kitten. Her soft round arms and little dimpled hands looked fit for no harder work than play, but she was pounding rice[225] when I saw her, and looked tired, and as if she wanted her mother.
A short distance from his door, there's another child who is living a strangely unnatural life, yet no one sees it as unusual because it’s “our custom.” She’s a small girl, playful like a kitten. Her soft, round arms and little dimpled hands seem made for nothing but play, but when I saw her, she was pounding rice[225] and looked tired, as if she wanted her mother.
While I was with her a very old man hobbled in. He was crippled, and leaned full weight with both hands on his stick. He seemed asthmatic too, and coughed and panted woefully. A withered, decrepit old ghoul. The child stood up when he came in and touched her neck where the marriage symbol lay. Then I knew he was her husband.
While I was with her, an elderly man hobbled in. He was disabled and leaned heavily on his cane. He also seemed to have trouble breathing, coughing and wheezing painfully. A frail, decrepit old man. The girl stood up when he entered and touched her neck where the wedding symbol was. That’s when I realized he was her husband.
No blush at the avowal—you dared to buy
A girl of age beseems your grand-daughter, like ox or ass?
Are flesh and blood ware? are heart and soul a chattel?"
Yes! like chattels they are sold to the highest bidder. In that auction Caste comes first, then wealth and position. And the chattel is bought, the bit of breathing flesh and blood is converted into property; and the living, throbbing heart of the child may be trampled and stamped down under foot in the mire and the mud of that market-place, for all anyone cares.
Yes! Like property, they are sold to the highest bidder. In that auction, caste comes first, then wealth and status. And the person is bought, the piece of living flesh and blood is turned into property; and the living, beating heart of the child may be trampled and crushed in the dirt and mud of that marketplace, for all anyone cares.
It is not long since a young wife came for refuge to our house. Three times she had tried to kill herself; at last she fled to us. Her husband came. "Get up, slave," he said, as she crouched on the floor. She would not stir or speak. Then he got her own people to come, and then it was as if a pent-up torrent was bursting out of an over full heart. "You gave me to him. You gave me to him." The words came over and over again; she reminded them in a passion of reproach how, knowing what his character was, they had handed her over to him. But we could hardly follow her, the words poured[226] forth with such fierce emotion, as with streaming eyes, and hands that showed everything in gestures, she besought them not to force her back. They promised, and believing them, she returned with them. The other day when I passed the house someone said, "Beautiful is there. He keeps her locked up in the back room now." So they had broken their word to her, and given her back, body and soul, to the power of a man whose cruelty is so well known that even the heathen call him a "demon." What must he be to his wife?
Not long ago, a young wife came to us seeking refuge. She had attempted to take her own life three times before finally escaping to us. Her husband showed up. "Get up, slave," he said, as she huddled on the floor. She refused to move or say anything. Then he brought her family, and it was like a dam bursting from a full heart. "You gave me to him. You gave me to him." The words kept coming, filled with reproach, as she reminded them how, knowing his true nature, they had handed her over. But we could barely keep up with her; the emotions flowed so intensely, with streaming eyes and hands that conveyed everything in gestures, she pleaded with them not to send her back. They promised, and trusting them, she went back with them. The other day, when I walked past their house, someone said, "Beautiful is there. He keeps her locked in the back room now." So they broke their promise to her, giving her back, body and soul, to the control of a man whose cruelty is so infamous that even the pagans call him a "demon." What must he be like to his wife?
And if that poor wife, nerved by the misery of her life, dared all, and appealed to the Government, the law would do as her people did—force her back again to him, to fulfil a contract she never made. Is it not a shame? Oh, when will the day come when this merchandise in children's souls shall cease? We know that many husbands are kind, and many wives perfectly content, but sometimes we see those who are not, and there is no redress.
And if that poor wife, driven by the misery of her life, took a chance and appealed to the government, the law would do what her family did—force her back to him to honor a contract she never agreed to. Isn't it a shame? Oh, when will the day come when this trade in children's lives will end? We know that many husbands are kind and many wives are perfectly happy, but sometimes we see those who aren’t, and there's no solution.
Another of our children sold by auction in the Village of the Lake is one who used to be such a pretty little thing, with a tangle of curls, and mischievous, merry brown eyes. But that was five years ago. Then a fiend in a man's shape saw her, and offered inducements to her parents which ended in his marrying her. She was nine years old.
Another one of our children sold by auction in the Village of the Lake is someone who used to be such a pretty little thing, with a tangle of curls and mischievous, merry brown eyes. But that was five years ago. Then a monster in human form saw her and made tempting offers to her parents that resulted in him marrying her. She was nine years old.
One year afterwards she was sent to her husband's home. His motives in marrying her were wholly evil, but the child knew something of right and wrong, and she resisted him. Then he dragged her into an inner room, and he held her down, and smothered her[227] shrieks, and pressed a plantain into her mouth. It was poisoned. She knew it, and did not swallow it all. But what she was forced to take made her ill, and she lay for days so dizzy and sick that when her husband kicked her as she lay she did not care. At last she escaped, and ran to her mother's house. But the law was on her owner's side; what could she prove of all this, poor child? And she had to go back to him. After that he succeeded in his devil's work, and to-day that child is dead to all sense of sin.
One year later, she was sent to her husband's home. His reasons for marrying her were completely wrong, but the girl understood right from wrong, and she fought back. Then he dragged her into a room, pinned her down, and silenced her screams while forcing a plantain into her mouth. It was poisoned. She realized it and didn't swallow it all. But what she was made to take made her sick, and she lay for days feeling so dizzy and ill that when her husband kicked her while she was down, she didn't care. Finally, she escaped and ran to her mother's house. But the law was on her husband's side; what proof did she have of any of this, poor girl? So she had to go back to him. After that, he succeeded in his evil plans, and today that girl is numb to all sense of sin.[227]
Oh, there are worse things far than seeing a little child die! It is worse to see it change. To see the innocence pass from the eyes, and the childishness grow into wickedness, and to know, without being able to stop it, just what is going on.
Oh, there are worse things than watching a little child die! It's worse to see them change. To see the innocence leave their eyes, and the childlike qualities turn into evil, and to know what's happening without being able to stop it.
I am thinking of one such now. She was four years old when I first began to visit in her grandmother's house. She is six now—only six—but her demoralisation is almost complete. It is as if you saw a hand pull a rosebud on its stem, crumple and crush it, rub the pink loveliness into pulp, drop it then—and you pick it up. But it is not a rosebud now. Oh, these things, the knowledge of them, is as a fire shut up in one's bones! shut up, for one cannot let it all out—it must stay in and burn.
I’m thinking of one such girl right now. She was four when I first started visiting her grandmother’s house. Now she’s six—just six—but she’s almost completely lost her spirit. It’s like watching someone pull a rosebud from its stem, crumple it, smash it, and then rub the beautiful pink into mush, only to drop it—and then you pick it up. But it’s not a rosebud anymore. Oh, knowing these things feels like a fire trapped in one’s bones! Trapped, because you can’t let it all out—it has to stay inside and burn.
Those who know nothing of the facts will be sure to criticise. "It is not an unknown thing for persons to act as critics, even though supremely ignorant of the subject criticised." But those who know the truth of these things well know that we have understated it, carefully[228] toned it down perforce, because it cannot be written in full. It could neither be published nor read.
Those who don't know the facts will definitely criticize. "It's not uncommon for people to act as critics, even if they're completely clueless about the subject they're criticizing." But those who truly understand these matters know that we've actually toned it down and kept it understated because we can't reveal everything. It wouldn't be possible to publish or even read it.
It cannot be written or published or read, but oh, it has to be lived! And what you may not even hear, must be endured by little girls. There are child-wives in India to-day, of twelve, ten, nine, and even eight years old. "Oh, you mean betrothed! Another instance of missionary exaggeration!" We mean married.
It can't be written, published, or read, but oh, it has to be lived! And what you might not even hear has to be endured by little girls. There are child brides in India today, aged twelve, ten, nine, and even eight. "Oh, you mean engaged! Just another example of missionary exaggeration!" We mean married.
"But of course the law interferes!" Perhaps you have heard of the law which makes wifehood illegal under twelve. With reference to this law the Hon. Manomoham Ghose of the High Court of Calcutta writes:—"If the Government thinks that the country is not yet prepared for such legislation" (by which he means drastic legislation) "as I suggest, I can only express my regret that by introducing the present Bill it has indefinitely postponed the introduction of a substantial measure of reform, which is urgently called for."
"But of course the law gets involved!" You might have heard about the law that makes it illegal to be a wife under the age of twelve. Regarding this law, Hon. Manomoham Ghose of the High Court of Calcutta writes:—"If the Government believes that the country isn’t ready for the kind of drastic legislation I propose, I can only express my disappointment that by bringing in this current Bill, it has indefinitely delayed the introduction of a meaningful reform that is urgently needed."
There are men and women in India to whom many a day is a nightmare, and this fair land an Inferno, because of what they know of the wrong that is going on. For that is the dreadful part of it. It is not like the burning alive of the widows, it is not a horror passed. It is going on steadily day and night. Sunlight, moonlight, and darkness pass, the one changing into the other; but all the time they are passing, this Wrong holds the hours with firm and strong hands, and uses them for its purpose—the murder of little girls. Meanwhile, what can be done by you and by me to hasten the day of its ending? Those who know can tell what they know, or so much as will bear the telling; and those who do not know can[229] believe it is true, and if they have influence anywhere, use it; and all can care and pray! Praying alone is not enough, but oh for more real praying! We are playing at praying, and caring, and coming; playing at doing—if doing costs—playing at everything but play. We are earnest enough about that. God open our eyes and convict us of our insincerity! burn out the superficial in us, make us intensely in earnest! And may God quicken our sympathy, and touch our heart, and nerve our arm for what will prove a desperate fight against "leaguèd fiends" in bad men's shapes, who do the devil's work to-day, branding on little innocent souls the very brand of hell.
There are men and women in India who experience many days as a nightmare, and this beautiful land as a hell, because of what they know about the wrongdoings happening. That's the truly horrifying part. It's not like the past horrors of burning widows; this is a continuous nightmare. Day and night cycle through, but all the while, this Wrong seizes the hours with a tight grip and uses them for its purpose — the murder of little girls. In the meantime, what can we do to speed up the end of this nightmare? Those who are aware can share their knowledge, or at least what can be shared; and those who are unaware can believe it's true, and if they have any influence, they should use it; everyone can care and pray! Simply praying isn't enough, but we should strive for deeper prayer! We're just going through the motions of praying, caring, and acting — merely playing at making an effort, especially if that effort requires sacrifice. We're very serious when it comes to comfort. May God open our eyes and convict us of our dishonesty! Burn away our superficiality and make us genuinely committed! And may God awaken our compassion, touch our hearts, and strengthen our resolve for what will be a fierce battle against the "leaguèd fiends" in the shape of evil men, who are doing the devil's work today, marking innocent souls with the very stamp of hell.
I have told of one—that little child who is now as evil-minded as a little child can be; she is only one of so many. Let a medical missionary speak.
I’ve talked about one—a little girl who now has a mindset as dark as a child can have; she’s just one of so many. Let a medical missionary share.
"A few days ago we had a little child-wife here as a patient. She was ten or eleven, I think, just a scrap of a creature, playing with a doll, and yet degraded unmentionably in mind. . . . But oh, to think of the hundreds of little girls! . . . It makes me feel literally sick. We do what we can. . . . But what can we do? What a drop in the ocean it is!"
"A few days ago, we had a young girl as a patient. She was about ten or eleven, just a tiny thing, playing with a doll, yet her mind was shockingly corrupted. . . . But oh, to think of the hundreds of little girls! . . . It makes me feel genuinely sick. We do what we can. . . . But what can we do? It’s such a small effort compared to the need!"
Where the dotted lines come, there was written what cannot be printed. But it had to be lived through, every bit of it, by a "scrap of a creature of ten or eleven."
Where the dotted lines are, there was written what can't be printed. But it had to be experienced fully, every bit of it, by a "small child of ten or eleven."
Another—these are from a friend who, even in writing a private letter, cannot say one-tenth of the thing she really means.
Another—these are from a friend who, even when writing a private letter, can’t express even a fraction of what she truly means.
"A few days ago the little mother (a child of thirteen) was crying bitterly in the ward. 'Why are you crying?'[230] 'Because he says I am too old for him now; he will get another wife, he says.' 'He' was her husband, 'quite a lad,' who had come to the hospital to see her."
"A few days ago, the little mother (a thirteen-year-old) was crying hard in the ward. 'Why are you crying?' [230] 'Because he says I'm too old for him now; he says he’ll find another wife.' 'He' was her husband, 'just a kid,' who had come to the hospital to see her."
The end of that story which cannot be told is being lived through this very day by that little wife of thirteen. And remember that thirteen in India means barely eleven at home.
The end of that untold story is happening right now for that little wife of thirteen. And keep in mind that thirteen in India is really more like eleven back home.
"She was fourteen years old," they said, "but such a tiny thing, she looked about nine years old in size and development. . . . The little mother was so hurt, she can never be well again all her life. The husband then married again . . . as the child was ruined in health. . . ." And, as before, the dots must cover all the long-drawn-out misery of that little child who "looked about nine."
"She was fourteen years old," they said, "but so small that she looked more like she was nine in size and growth... The little mother was so devastated, she’ll never fully recover for the rest of her life. The husband then married again... since the child’s health was ruined..." And, as before, the ellipses must capture all the prolonged suffering of that little child who "looked about nine."
"There is an old, old man living near here, with a little wife of ten or eleven. . . . Our present cook's little girl, nine years old, has lately been married to a man who already has had two wives." In each of these cases, as in each I have mentioned, marriage means marriage, not just betrothal, as so many fondly imagine. Only to-day I heard of one who died in what the nurse who attended her described as "simple agony." She had been married a week before. She was barely twelve years old.
"There’s an elderly man living nearby with a young wife who is about ten or eleven. Our current cook’s daughter, who is nine years old, just married a man who already had two wives. In all these instances, marriage means actual marriage, not just engagement, as many people mistakenly believe. Just today, I heard about someone who died in what the nurse described as 'sheer agony.' She had been married only a week before. She was barely twelve years old."
We do not say this is universal. There are many exceptions; but we do say the workings of this custom should be exposed and not suppressed. Question our facts; we can prove them. To-day as I write it, to-day as you read it, hundreds and thousands of little wives are going through what we have described. But "described" is not the word to use—indicated, I should say, with the[231] faintest wash of sepia where the thing meant is pitch black.
We don't claim this is true for everyone. There are plenty of exceptions; however, we believe the realities of this custom should be brought to light, not hidden away. Challenge our facts; we can back them up. Right now, as I write this, and as you read it, hundreds of thousands of women are experiencing what we've mentioned. But "mentioned" doesn’t quite capture it—pointed out, perhaps, with just the faintest hint of brown where the actual situation is stark black.[231]
Think of it, then—do not try to escape from the thought—English women know too little, care too little—too little by far. Think of it. Stop and think of it. If it is "trying" to think of it, and you would prefer to turn the page over, and get to something nicer to read, what must it be to live through it? What must it be to those little girls, so little, so pitifully little, and unequal to it all? What must it be to these childish things to live on through it day by day, with, in some cases, nothing to hope for till kindly death comes and opens the door, the one dread door of escape they know, and the tortured little body dies? And someone says, "The girl is dead, take the corpse out to the burning-ground." Then they take it up, gently perhaps. But oh, the relief of remembering it! It does not matter now. Nothing matters any more. Little dead wives cannot feel.
Think about it—don't try to avoid the thought—English women know too little and care too little—far too little. Think about it. Stop and really consider it. If it's hard for you to think about and you'd rather just flip the page to find something more pleasant to read, what must it be like to actually live through it? What must it be like for those little girls, so tiny, so painfully small, and unable to cope with it all? What must it be like for these innocent ones to endure it day after day, with in some cases, no hope at all until kind death finally arrives to open the one terrifying door of escape they know, and the suffering little body passes away? And someone says, "The girl is dead, take the body to the cremation site." Then they lift her up, perhaps gently. But oh, the relief in remembering it! It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters now. Little dead wives can't feel.
I wonder whether it touches you? I know I cannot tell it well. But oh, one lives through it all with them!—I have stopped writing again and again, and felt I could not go on.
I wonder if it affects you? I know I'm not expressing it well. But oh, we experience everything together!—I've started and stopped writing repeatedly and felt like I couldn't continue.
Mother, happy mother! When you tuck up your little girl in her cot, and feel her arms cling round your neck and her kisses on your cheek, will you think of these other little girls? Will you try to conceive what you would feel if your little girl were here?
Mother, joyful mother! When you put your little girl to bed in her crib, and feel her arms wrap around your neck and her kisses on your cheek, will you think of these other little girls? Will you try to imagine what you would feel if your little girl were here?
Oh, you clasp her tight, so tight in your arms! The thought is a scorpion's sting in your soul. You would[232] kill her, smother her dead in your arms, before you would give her to—that.
Oh, you hold her close, really close in your arms! The thought is a scorpion's sting in your soul. You would[232] kill her, suffocate her in your embrace, before you would let her go to—that.
Turn the light down, and come away. Thank God she is safe in her little cot, she will wake up to-morrow safe. Now think for a moment steadily of those who are somebody's little girls, just as dear to them and sweet, needing as much the tenderest care as this your own little girl.
Turn down the light and come over here. Thank God she’s safe in her little bed; she’ll wake up tomorrow safe. Now take a moment to think seriously about those who are somebody’s little girls, just as precious and sweet to them, needing just as much the tender care as your own little girl.
Think of them. Try to think of them as if they were your very own. They are just like your own, in so many ways—only their future is different.
Think about them. Try to see them as if they were your own. They’re just like yours in so many ways—only their future is different.
Oh, dear mothers, do you care? Do you care very much, I ask?
Oh, dear mothers, do you care? Do you care a lot, I ask?
We passed the temple on our way home from the Village of the Lake. The great gate was open, and the Brahmans and their friends were lounging in and out, or sitting in the porch talking and laughing together. They were talking about us as we passed. They were quite aware of our object in coming, and were pleased that we had failed.
We walked by the temple on our way home from the Village of the Lake. The big gate was open, and the Brahmans and their friends were hanging out, either coming in and out or sitting on the porch chatting and laughing together. They were talking about us as we walked by. They knew exactly why we had come and were happy that we had not succeeded.
Government officials, English-speaking graduates, educated Hindus like our old friend the schoolmaster, all would admit in private that to take a child to the temple and "marry her" there was wrong. But very few have much desire to right the shameful wrong.
Government officials, English-speaking graduates, educated Hindus like our old friend the schoolmaster, all would admit in private that taking a child to the temple and "marrying her" there is wrong. But very few have any real desire to correct this shameful injustice.
There are thousands of recognised Slaves of the gods in this Presidency. Under other names they exist all over India. There are thousands of little child-wives; fewer here than elsewhere, we know, but many everywhere. I do not for a moment suggest that all child-wives[233] are cruelly handled, any more than I would have it thought that all little girls are available for the service of the gods. Nor would I have it supposed that we see down this hell-crack every day. We may live for years in the country and know very little about it. The medical workers—God help them!—are those who are most frequently forced to look down, and I, not being a medical, know infinitely less of its depths than they. But this I do know, and do mean, and I mean it with an intensity I know not how to express, that this custom of infant marriage and child marriage, whether to gods or men, is an infamous custom; that it holds possibilities of wrong, such unutterable wrong, that descriptive words concerning it can only "skirt the abyss," and that in the name of all that is just and all that is merciful it should be swept out of the land without a day's delay.
There are thousands of recognized Slaves of the gods in this region. They go by different names all over India. There are countless little child-wives; fewer here than in other places, but still many everywhere. I don’t mean to suggest that all child-wives[233] are treated cruelly, nor would I want it to be thought that all little girls are available for the service of the gods. I also wouldn’t want anyone to think we see this terrible reality every day. We can live in the country for years and know very little about it. The medical workers—God help them!—are often the ones who have to confront this reality, and I, not being in the medical field, know much less about its depths than they do. But this I do know, and I mean it with an intensity I can’t fully express: this practice of marrying off infants and children, whether to gods or men, is a disgraceful custom; it carries the potential for unimaginable wrongs so severe that any attempt to describe it can only "skirt the abyss," and in the name of all that is just and all that is merciful, it should be eliminated from the land without delay.
We look to our Indian brothers. India is so immense that a voice crying in the North is hardly heard in the South. Thank God for the one or two voices crying in the wilderness. But many voices are needed, not only one or two. Let the many voices cry! Every man with a heart and a voice to cry, should cry. Then all the cries crying over the land will force the deaf ears to hear, and force the dull brains to think and the hands of the law to act, and something at last will be done.
We turn to our Indian brothers. India is so vast that a voice shouting in the North is barely heard in the South. Thank goodness for the few voices calling out from the wilderness. But we need many more voices, not just one or two. Let the many voices be heard! Every person with a heart and a voice to speak should do so. Then all the cries across the land will make the deaf ears listen, push the slow minds to think, and compel the hands of the law to take action, and finally, something will be done.
But "crying" is not nearly enough. We look to you, brothers of India, to do. Get convictions upon this subject which will compel you to do. Many can talk and many can write, and more will do both, as the years pass, but the crux is contained in the doing.[234]
But "crying" is not enough. We look to you, brothers of India, to take action. Form convictions on this subject that will drive you to act. Many can talk and many can write, and even more will do both as time goes on, but the key is in the doing.[234]
God alone can strengthen you for it. He who set His face as a flint, can make you steadfast and brave enough to set your faces as flints, till the bands of wickedness are loosed, and the heavy burdens are undone, and every yoke is broken, and the oppressed go free.
God alone can give you the strength for it. He who set His face like flint can make you steady and brave enough to set your faces like flint, until the bonds of evil are broken, the heavy burdens are lifted, every yoke is shattered, and the oppressed are set free.
It will cost. It is bound to cost. Every battle of the warrior is with confused noise and garments rolled in blood. It is only sham battles that cost something less than blood. Everything worth anything costs blood. "Reproach hath broken My heart." A broken heart bleeds. Is it the reproach of the battle you fear? This fear will conquer you until you hear the voice of your God saying, "Fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be afraid of their revilings. . . . Who art thou that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die, and the son of man that shall be made as grass, and forgettest the Lord thy Maker?"
It will cost. It’s going to cost. Every warrior's battle is filled with chaotic noise and blood-soaked clothes. Only fake battles cost less than blood. Everything that truly matters costs blood. "Reproach has broken My heart." A broken heart bleeds. Are you afraid of the shame from the battle? This fear will overpower you until you hear your God’s voice saying, "Don’t fear the shame of people, and don’t be afraid of their insults. ... Who are you to be afraid of a man who will die, and the son of man who will wither like grass, and forgets the Lord your Maker?"
This book is meant for our comrades at home, but it may come back to India, and so we have spoken straight from our hearts to our Indian brothers here. Oh, brothers, rise, and in God's Name fight; in His power fight till you win, for these, your own land's little girls, who never can fight for themselves!
This book is for our friends back home, but it might return to India, so we have spoken honestly from our hearts to our Indian brothers here. Oh, brothers, rise up, and in God's name, fight; with His strength, fight until you win, for the little girls of your land, who can never fight for themselves!
And now we look to you at home. Will all who pity the little wives pray for the men of India? Pray for those who are honestly striving to rid the land of this shameful curse. Pray that they may be nerved for the fight by the power of God's right arm. Pray for all the irresolute. "A sound of battle is in the land, . . . the Lord hath opened His armoury." "Cursed be[235] he that keepeth back his sword from blood." Pray for resolution and the courage of conviction. It is needed.
And now we turn to you at home. Will everyone who feels for the little wives pray for the men of India? Pray for those who are genuinely working to rid the country of this terrible curse. Pray that they may find strength for the fight through the power of God’s might. Pray for all those who are uncertain. "There is a sound of battle in the land, ... the Lord has opened His arsenal." "Cursed be he that withholds his sword from blood." Pray for determination and the courage of conviction. It is needed.
And to this end pray that the Spirit of Life may come upon our Mission Colleges, and mightily energise the Missionary Educational Movement, that Hindu students may be won to out-and-out allegiance to Christ while they are students, before they become entangled in the social mesh of Hinduism. And pray, we earnestly plead with you, that the Christian students may meet God at college, and come out strong to fight this fiend which trades in "slaves and souls of men"—and in the souls of little girls.
And with this in mind, pray that the Spirit of Life will come upon our Mission Colleges and powerfully energize the Missionary Educational Movement so that Hindu students can fully commit to Christ while they are still students, before they get caught up in the social fabric of Hinduism. And we sincerely urge you to pray that the Christian students encounter God in college and emerge strong to combat this evil that exploits "slaves and souls of men"—and the souls of little girls.
CHAPTER XXVI
From a Hindu Point of View
"The Lord preserve us from innovations foreign to the true principles of the Protestant Church, and foreign to the principles of the C.M.S. Pictures, crosses, and banners, with processions, would do great harm. The Mohammedan natives would say, 'Wah! you worship idols as the Hindus do, and have taziyas (processions) as well as the Mohammedans!' And our Christians would mourn over such things."
"The Lord protect us from changes that stray from the true principles of the Protestant Church and the values of the C.M.S. Images, crosses, and banners, along with processions, would cause great harm. The Muslim locals would say, 'Wow! You worship idols like the Hindus do, and you have processions just like the Muslims!' And our Christians would be upset by such things."
There is the usual striped wall, red and white; the red is a fine terra-cotta, the colour of the sand. The central block, the shrine itself, has inlays of green, red, and blue; there is more terra-cotta in the roof, some[237] yellow too, and white. Beyond on either side there are houses, and beyond the houses, trees and sky.
There’s the typical striped wall, red and white; the red is a nice terra-cotta, the color of sand. The central block, the shrine itself, has inlays of green, red, and blue; there’s more terra-cotta on the roof, some yellow too, and white. Beyond on either side, there are houses, and beyond the houses, trees and sky.
It is all very pretty and peaceful. Smoke is curling up in the still air from some early lighted fire out of doors; there are voices of people going and coming, softened by distance. There is the musical jingle of bullock bells here in the compound and out on the road, and there is the twitter of birds.
It’s all very pretty and peaceful. Smoke is rising in the calm air from an early fire outside; you can hear voices of people coming and going, softened by the distance. You can hear the musical jingle of bullock bells in the yard and on the road, along with the chirping of birds.
In front of that temple there are three altars, and in front of the altars a pillar. I can see it from where I am sitting now, rough grey stone. Upon it, there is what I thought at first was a sun-dial, and I wondered what it was doing there. Then I saw it had not a dial plate; only a strong cross-bar of wood, and the index finger, so to speak, was longer than one would expect, a sharp wooden spike. As I was wondering what it was a passer-by explained it. It is not a sun-dial, it is an impaling instrument. On that spike they used to impale alive goats and kids and fowls as offerings to the god Siva and his two wives, the deities to whose honour the three altars stand before the little shrine. The pillar on which stands this infernal spike has three circles scored into it, sign of the three divinities.
In front of that temple, there are three altars, and in front of the altars, there's a pillar. I can see it from where I'm sitting now, rough gray stone. At first, I thought it was a sun-dial, and I wondered what it was doing there. Then I noticed it didn’t have a dial plate; it only had a strong cross-bar of wood, and the index finger, so to speak, was longer than expected, a sharp wooden spike. While I was trying to figure out what it was, a passerby explained it to me. It’s not a sun-dial; it’s an impaling instrument. On that spike, they used to impale live goats, kids, and fowl as offerings to the god Siva and his two wives, the deities that the three altars are dedicated to in front of the little shrine. The pillar, which holds this gruesome spike, has three circles carved into it, marking the three divinities.
"The impaling has stopped," say the people, greatly amused at one's horror and distress, for at first I thought perhaps they still did it. "Now we do not impale alive; the Government has stopped it." Thank God for that! But oh, let all lovers of God's creatures pray for and hasten the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ! Government may step in and stop the public clubbing to death of buffaloes, and the impaling of goats and fowls in[238] sacrifice, but it cannot stop the private cruelty, and the still wider-spread indifference on the part of those who are not themselves cruel; only the coming of Christ the Compassionate can do that.
"The impaling has stopped," the people say, finding great amusement in my horror and distress, as I initially thought they might still be doing it. "Now we don’t impale the living; the Government has put an end to it." Thank goodness for that! But oh, let all lovers of God's creatures pray for and hasten the arrival of our Lord Jesus Christ! The Government can stop the public clubbing to death of buffaloes and the impaling of goats and birds in[238] sacrifice, but it can’t stop the private cruelty or the even wider indifference of those who aren’t cruel themselves; only the coming of Christ the Compassionate can do that.
There was the sound of voices just then, as I wrote, many voices, coming nearer, shrill women's voices, cutting through one's thoughts, and I went out to see what was going on.
There was the sound of voices just then, as I wrote, many voices, coming closer, sharp women's voices, interrupting one’s thoughts, and I went out to see what was happening.
On the other side of the road, opposite our gate, there is a huge old double tree, the sacred fig tree of India, intertwined with another—a religious symbol to this symbol-loving people. Underneath is a stone platform, and on it the hideous elephant-god. On the same side is a little house. A group of women were gathered under the shade near the house, evidently waiting for something or someone. They were delighted to talk.
On the other side of the road, across from our gate, there's a massive old double tree, the sacred fig tree of India, intertwined with another—a religious symbol for this symbol-loving community. Underneath is a stone platform, and on it sits the ugly elephant-god. Next to it is a small house. A group of women gathered in the shade near the house, clearly waiting for something or someone. They were happy to chat.
We spent half an hour under the tree, and they listened; but we were interrupted by some well-dressed Government officials with their coats, sashes, and badges, and one not strictly Governmental got up in a marvellous fashion, and they joined the group and monopolised the conversation. I waited, hoping they would soon go away, and I listened to what they were saying.
We spent half an hour under the tree, and they listened; but we were interrupted by some well-dressed government officials with their suits, sashes, and badges, and one who wasn't exactly from the government got up in a remarkable way, and they joined the group and took over the conversation. I waited, hoping they would leave soon, and I listened to what they were saying.
"Yes! she actually appeared! She was a goddess." ("A goddess! Oh!" from the women.) "She came forward, moving without walking, and she stood as a tree stands, and she stretched out her arms and blessed the people, and vanished."
"Yes! She actually showed up! She was a goddess." ("A goddess! Oh!" from the women.) "She moved forward, gliding rather than walking, and she stood like a tree stands, then she stretched out her arms, blessed the people, and disappeared."
A woman pointed to me. "Like her? Was she like her?"[239]
A woman pointed at me. "Like her? Was she like her?"[239]
"Like her!" and the Government official was a little contemptuous. "Did I not say she was a goddess? Is this Missie Ammal a goddess? Is she not a mere woman like yourselves, only white?"
"Like her!" the government official said, a bit dismissively. "Did I not say she was a goddess? Is this Missie Ammal a goddess? Is she not just an ordinary woman like you, only white?"
"She also came from the bungalow," objected the woman rather feebly, feeling public opinion against her.
"She also came from the bungalow," the woman protested weakly, sensing that public opinion was turning against her.
"You oyster!" said the official politely, "because a Missie Ammal comes from the bungalow, does it prove that the goddess was a Missie Ammal?" The other women agreed with him, and snubbed the ignoramus, who retired from the controversy.
"You idiot!" said the official politely, "just because a Missie Ammal comes from the bungalow, does that mean the goddess was a Missie Ammal?" The other women agreed with him and dismissed the clueless one, who backed away from the discussion.
The story was repeated with variations, such a mixture of the probable with the improbable, not to say impossible, that one got tangled up in it before he had got half through.
The story was retold with different twists, a blend of what could happen and what definitely couldn't, so much so that you got lost in it before you were even halfway through.
Just then an ancient Christian appeared on the scene and quavered in, in the middle of the marvel, with words to the effect that our God was the true God, and they ought to have faith in Him. It was not exactly à propos of anything they were discussing, but he seemed to think it the right thing to say, and they accepted it as a customary remark, and went on with their conversation. I asked the old worthy if he knew anything about the story, and at first he denied it indignantly as savouring too much of idolatry to be connected with the bungalow, but finally admitted that once in the dim past he had heard that an Ammal in the bungalow, who was ill and disturbed by the tom-toms at night, got up and went out and tried to speak to the people. And the men, listening now to the old man, threw in a word which illumined the whole, "It was a great festival." I remembered that impaling stake, and understood it all. And in a[240] flash I saw it—the poor live beast—and heard its cries. They would wring her heart as she heard them in the pauses of the tom-tom. She was ill, but she got up and struggled out, and tried to stop it, I am sure—tried, and failed.
Just then, an old Christian showed up and chimed in, right in the middle of the amazing scene, saying something like our God is the true God, and they should have faith in Him. It wasn't really related to what they were talking about, but he seemed to think it was the right thing to say, and they accepted it as just a usual comment and continued their conversation. I asked the old man if he knew anything about the story, and at first, he indignantly denied it, saying it sounded too much like idolatry to be linked to the bungalow, but finally, he admitted that long ago he had heard that a sick Ammal in the bungalow, disturbed by the drums at night, got up and went outside to try and talk to the people. As he spoke, the men listening to the old man added something that clarified everything, "It was a great festival." I remembered that impaling stake and understood it all. In a flash, I saw it—the poor live beast—and heard its cries. They would tear her heart apart as she heard them in the pauses of the drums. She was ill, but she got up and struggled out, trying to stop it, I’m sure—trying, and failing.
Seven thousand miles away these things may seem trivial. Here, with that grey stone pillar full in view, they are real.
Seven thousand miles away, these things might seem unimportant. Here, with that gray stone pillar right in front of us, they feel very real.
I came back to the present. The women were still there, and more people were gathering. Something was going to happen. Then a sudden burst of tom-toms, and a banging and clanging of all manner of noise-producers, and then a bullock coach drove up, a great gilded thing. It stopped in front of the little house; someone got out; the people shouted, "Guru! Great Guru! Lord Guru!" with wild enthusiasm.
I returned to the present moment. The women were still there, and more people were gathering. Something was about to happen. Then there was a sudden burst of drums, alongside a banging and clanging of all kinds of noisemakers, and then a bullock cart pulled up, a grand gilded thing. It stopped in front of the little house; someone got out; the crowd shouted, "Guru! Great Guru! Lord Guru!" with wild enthusiasm.
The Guru was not poor. He had two carts laden with luggage—one item, a green parrot in a cage. Close to the cage a small boy was thundering away on a tom-tom, but it did not disturb the parrot. The people seemed to think this display of wealth demanded an apology. "It is not his, it belongs to his followers; he, being what he is, requires none of these things," they said.
The Guru wasn't poor. He had two carts filled with luggage—one of which had a green parrot in a cage. Next to the cage, a little boy was banging away on a drum, but it didn’t bother the parrot. People seemed to believe that this show of wealth needed an explanation. "It’s not his; it belongs to his followers. He, being who he is, doesn't need any of these things," they said.
I had to go then, and we started soon afterwards on our day's round, and I do not know what happened next; but I had never had the chance of a talk with a celebrity of this description, and in the evening, on my homeward way, I stopped before the little house and asked if I might see him, the famous Guru of one of the greatest of South Indian Castes.[241]
I had to go then, and we started soon after on our day's journey, and I’m not sure what happened next; but I had never had the chance to talk with a celebrity like this, and in the evening, on my way home, I stopped in front of the little house and asked if I could see him, the famous Guru of one of the greatest South Indian castes.[241]
The Government officials of the morning were there, but the officialism was gone. No coats and sashes and badges now, only the simple national dress, a scarf of white muslin. The one who in the morning had been an illustration of the possible effect of the mixture of East and West, stood in a dignity he had not then, a fine manly form.
The government officials were present in the morning, but the formalities were absent. There were no coats, sashes, or badges—just plain national attire, a white muslin scarf. The person who had earlier represented the potential impact of blending Eastern and Western cultures now stood with a dignity he hadn’t displayed before, a strong, impressive figure.
The door was open, and they were sentry, for their Guru was resting, they said. "Then he is very human, just like yourselves?" But the strong, sensible faces looked almost frightened at the words. "Hush," they answered all in a breath, "no such thoughts may be even thought here. He is not just like us." And as if to divert us from the expression of such sentiments, they moved a little from the door, and said, "You may look, if you do not speak," and knowing such looks are not often allowed, I looked with interest, and saw all there was to see.
The door was open, and they stood guard, because their Guru was resting, they said. "So he’s just human, like you?" But the strong, sensible faces looked almost scared at the question. "Shh," they all whispered at once, "no thoughts like that are allowed here. He’s not like us." And to steer us away from expressing such ideas, they stepped back from the door and said, "You can look, if you don’t say anything," and knowing that such views aren't usually permitted, I looked with curiosity and saw everything there was to see.
The Guru was in the far corner resting; a rich purple silk, with gold interwoven in borders and bands, was flung over his ascetic's dress. At the far end, too, was a sort of altar, covered with red cloth, and on it were numerous brass candlesticks and vessels, and on a little shelf above, a row of little divinities, some brass ornaments, and flowers.
The Guru was resting in the far corner; a rich purple silk, with gold woven into the borders and bands, was draped over his ascetic's attire. At the far end, there was an altar covered with red cloth, adorned with numerous brass candlesticks and vessels. Above it, on a small shelf, was a row of little deities, some brass decorations, and flowers.
To the left of this altar there was a high-backed chair covered by a deer skin; there were pictures of gods and goddesses round the room, especially near the altar, and there were the usual censers, rosaries, and musical instruments, and there was the parrot.
To the left of this altar, there was a tall-backed chair covered with deer skin; there were images of gods and goddesses around the room, especially near the altar, along with the usual incense burners, prayer beads, and musical instruments, and there was the parrot.
The Government official pointed in, and said, with an[242] air of pride in the whole, and a certainty of sympathy too, "There, you see how closely it resembles your churches; there is not so much difference between you and us after all!"
The government official gestured and said, with an[242] air of pride in the overall picture and a feeling of understanding too, "There, you see how closely it resembles your churches; there isn’t much difference between you and us after all!"
Not so much difference! There is a very great difference, I told him; and I asked him where he had seen a Christian church like this. He mentioned two. One was a Roman Catholic chapel, the other an English church.
Not much of a difference! There's a huge difference, I told him; and I asked him where he had seen a Christian church like this. He mentioned two. One was a Roman Catholic chapel, the other an English church.
What could I say? They bear our name; how could he understand the divisions that rend us asunder?—Romanists, Ritualists, and Protestants—are we not all called Christians?
What could I say? They carry our name; how could he grasp the divisions that tear us apart?—Roman Catholics, Ritualists, and Protestants—aren't we all called Christians?
I looked again, and I could not help being struck with the resemblance. The altar with its brasses and flowers and candlesticks, and the little shelf above; the pictures on the walls; the chair, so like a Bishop's chair of state; the whole air of the place heavy with incense, was redolent of Rome.
I looked again, and I couldn't help but notice the similarities. The altar with its metalwork and flowers and candlesticks, and the little shelf above; the pictures on the walls; the chair, so similar to a Bishop's chair of state; the entire atmosphere of the place filled with incense, felt just like Rome.
He went on to explain, while I stood there ashamed. "Look, have you not got that?" and he pointed to the altar-like erection, with the red cloth and the flowers.
He continued to explain while I stood there embarrassed. "Look, don't you see that?" and he pointed to the altar-like structure, with the red cloth and the flowers.
"We have nothing of the sort in our church. Come and see; we have only a table," I said; but he laughed and declared he had seen it in other churches, and it was just like ours, "only yours has a cross above it, and ours has images; but you bow to your cross, so it must represent a divinity," and, without waiting for any reply, he pointed next to the pictures.
"We don't have anything like that in our church. Come and see; we only have a table," I said, but he laughed and insisted he had seen it in other churches, and it was just like ours, "only yours has a cross above it, and ours has images; but you bow to your cross, so it must represent something divine," and, without waiting for a response, he pointed to the pictures next to it.
"They are very like yours, I think," he said, only yours show your God on a cross, stretched out and dying[243]—so"—And he stretched out his arms, and dropped his head, and said something which cannot be translated; and I could not look or listen, but broke in earnestly:
"They look a lot like yours, I think," he said, "but yours show your God on a cross, stretched out and dying[243]—so"—And he spread out his arms, lowered his head, and said something that can't really be translated; and I couldn't watch or listen, but interrupted urgently:
"Indeed, we have no such pictures—at least we here have not; but even if some show such a picture, do they ever call it a picture of God? They only say it is a picture of"—But he interrupted impatiently:
"Honestly, we don't have any pictures like that—at least not here; but even if some do show such a picture, do they ever call it a picture of God? They just say it’s a picture of"—But he cut in impatiently:
"Do not I know what they say?" And then, with a touch of scorn at what he thought was an empty excuse on my part, he added, "We also say the same" (which is true; no intelligent Hindu admits that he worships idols or pictures; he worships what these things represent). "Your people show your symbols," he continued, in the tone of one who is sure of his ground, "exactly as we show ours. I have seen your God on a great sheet at night; it was shown by means of a magic lamp; and sometimes you make it of wood or brass, as we make ours of stone. The name may change and the manner of making, but the thing's essence is the same."
"Don't I know what they say?" And then, with a hint of scorn at what he thought was a weak excuse on my part, he added, "We say the same thing" (which is true; no smart Hindu admits that he worships idols or pictures; he worships what those things represent). "Your people display your symbols," he continued, confidently, "just like we display ours. I've seen your God projected on a big screen at night; it was shown using a magic lamp; and sometimes you make it out of wood or brass, just like we make ours out of stone. The name might change and the way it's made might vary, but the essence of the thing is the same."
"The Mohammedans do not show their God's symbol; but we do, and so do the Christians. Therefore between us and the Christians there is more in common than between the Mohammedans and us." This was another Hindu's contribution to the argument.
"The Muslims do not display their God's symbol; but we do, and so do the Christians. So, there's more in common between us and the Christians than between the Muslims and us." This was another Hindu's contribution to the argument.
The chair now served as a text. "When your Bishop comes round your churches, does he not sit in a chair like that, himself apart from the people? And in like manner our Guru sits. There is much similarity. Also do not your Christians stand"—and he imitated the peculiarly deferential attitude adopted on such occasions by some—"just in the fashion that we stand? And do[244] not your people feel themselves blessed by the presence of the Great? Oh, there is much similarity!"
The chair now served as a symbol. "When your Bishop visits your churches, doesn't he sit in a chair like that, setting himself apart from the people? Our Guru sits in a similar way. There are many similarities. And don't your Christians stand"—and he imitated the distinctly respectful stance some take on such occasions—"in the same way we do? And don't your people feel blessed by the presence of the Great? Oh, there are so many similarities!"
I explained that all this, though foolish, was not intended for more than respect, and our Bishops did not desire it; at which he smiled. Then he went on to expatiate upon what he had seen in some of our churches (probably while on duty as Government servant): the display, as it seemed to him, so like this; the pomp, as he thought it, so fine, like this; the bowing and prostrating, and even on the part of those who did not do these things, the evident participation in the whole grand show. And the other men, who apparently had looked in through the open windows and doors, agreed with him.
I explained that all of this, though silly, was meant for nothing more than respect, and our Bishops didn’t want it; he smiled at that. Then he went on to elaborate about what he had seen in some of our churches (probably while working as a government official): the display, which he thought was similar to this; the pomp, which he found impressive, like this; the bowing and prostrating, and even from those who didn’t do those things, the clear involvement in the entire grand spectacle. The other men, who apparently had looked in through the open windows and doors, agreed with him.
He is not the first who has been stumbled in the same way; and I remembered, as he talked, what a Mohammedan woman said to a friend of mine about one of our English churches, seen through her husband's eyes. "You have idols in your church," she said, "to which you bow in worship." She referred to the things on or above the Communion table. My friend explained the things were not idols. "Then why do your people bow to them?" Was there nothing in the question?
He’s not the first to trip up in this way; and as he spoke, I recalled what a Muslim woman told a friend of mine about one of our English churches, seen through her husband’s perspective. "You have idols in your church," she said, "to which you bow in worship." She was talking about the items on or above the Communion table. My friend clarified that these things weren’t idols. "Then why do your people bow to them?" Was there no truth to her question?
Often we wonder whether the rapid but insidious increase of ritual in India is understood at home. In England it is bad enough, but in a heathen and Mohammedan land it is, if possible, worse; and the worst is, the spirit of it, or the spirit of tolerance toward it, which is on the increase even in missionary circles. Some of our Tamil people attend the English service in these "advanced" churches after their own service is over, and thus become familiarised with and gradually acclimatised[245] to an ecclesiastical atmosphere foreign to them as members of a Protestant Society.
Often we wonder whether the rapid but subtle increase of rituals in India is understood at home. In England, it’s bad enough, but in a pagan and Muslim country, it’s even worse; and the worst part is the growing acceptance of it, even among missionary groups. Some of our Tamil people attend the English service in these "modern" churches after their own service is over, and thus they become familiar with and gradually acclimatized[245] to an ecclesiastical environment that is foreign to them as members of a Protestant Society.
I remember spending a Sunday afternoon with a worthy pastor and his wife, stationed in the place where the church is in which the "idols are worshipped" according to the Mohammedans. When the bell rang for evening service he began to shuffle rather as if he wanted me to go. But he was too polite to say so, and the reason never struck me till his son came in with an English Bible and Prayer-Book. The old man put up his hand to his mouth in the apologetic manner of the Tamils. "We do not notice the foolish parts of the service. We like to hear the English. For the sake of the English we go."
I remember spending a Sunday afternoon with a kind pastor and his wife, in the town where the church is located that the Muslims refer to as the place where "idols are worshipped." When the bell rang for evening service, he started to fidget as if he wanted me to leave. But he was too polite to say anything, and I didn’t realize why until his son walked in with an English Bible and Prayer Book. The old man raised his hand to his mouth in an apologetic way, typical of the Tamils. "We don’t pay attention to the silly parts of the service. We enjoy hearing the English. For the sake of the English, we come."
"He did not turn to the East, but he did not keep quite straight; he just half turned." This from a pastor's wife, about one whom she had been observing during an ordination ceremony in the English cathedral. "He just half turned." It describes the nebulous attitude of mind of many a one to-day. India has not our historical background. It has no Foxe's Book of Martyrs yet. Perhaps that is why its people are so indifferent upon points which seem of importance to us. They have not had to fight for their freedom, in the sense at least our forefathers fought; there is no Puritan blood in their veins; and so they are willing to follow the lead of almost anyone, provided that lead is given steadily and persistently; which surely should make those in authority careful as to those in whose hands that lead is placed.
"He didn’t turn to the East, but he didn’t stay completely straight; he just half turned." This was said by a pastor's wife about someone she had been watching during an ordination ceremony in the English cathedral. "He just half turned." It captures the vague mindset of many people today. India doesn’t share our historical background. It doesn’t have Foxe's Book of Martyrs yet. Maybe that's why its people are so indifferent about issues that seem important to us. They haven’t had to fight for their freedom in the same way our forefathers did; there’s no Puritan blood in their veins; and so they are open to following nearly anyone’s lead, as long as that lead is consistent and steady; which should definitely make those in authority careful about who they let take the lead.
But the natural instinct of the converted idolater is dead against complexity in worship, and for simplicity.[246] He does not want something as like his own old religion as possible, but as different as possible from it; and so we have good building material ready to hand, and a foundation ready laid. "But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon."
But the natural instinct of the converted idolater strongly opposes complexity in worship and favors simplicity.[246] He doesn’t want something that resembles his old religion as much as possible, but rather something that is as different from it as possible; and so we have good building material readily available, and a solid foundation already laid. "But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon."
I hope this does not sound unkind. We give those who hold different views full credit for sincerity, and a right to their own opinions; but convictions are convictions, and, without judging others who differ, these are ours, and we want those at home who are with us in these things to unite to help to stem the tide that has already risen in India far higher than perhaps they know. Brave men are needed, men with a fuller development of spiritual vertebræ than is common in these easy-going days, and we need such men in our Native Church. God create them; they are not the product of theological colleges. And may God save His Missions in India from wasting His time, and money, and men, on the cultivation of what may evolve into something of no more use to creation than a new genus of jelly-fish.
I hope this doesn’t come across as unkind. We fully recognize that those with different views are sincere and have the right to their opinions; however, beliefs are beliefs, and without judging others who disagree, these are ours. We want those at home who share these views to come together to help counter the growing issues in India, which may be more severe than they realize. Brave individuals are needed, people with a stronger sense of moral integrity than is common in these relaxed times, and we need such people in our Native Church. May God raise them up; they don’t come from theological colleges. And may God protect His Missions in India from wasting His time, money, and people on efforts that might end up being as useless to humanity as a new type of jellyfish.
The Government official and his friends were still talking among themselves: "Do we not know what the Christians do? Have we not ears? Have we not eyes? They do it in their way, we do it in ours. The thing itself is really the same. Yes, their religion is just like ours."
The government official and his friends were still chatting among themselves: "Don't we know what Christians do? Do we not have ears? Do we not have eyes? They do it their way, we do it ours. The essence of it is really the same. Yeah, their religion is just like ours."
They could not see the vital difference between even the most vitiated forms of Christianity and their own Hinduism; there were so many resemblances, and these filled their mental vision at the moment. One could hardly wonder they could not.[247]
They couldn't see the important difference between even the most corrupted forms of Christianity and their own Hinduism; there were so many similarities, and these dominated their thoughts at the time. It's not surprising they couldn't. [247]
They turned to me again, and with all the vigour of language at my command I told them that neither we nor those with us ever went to any church where we had reason to think there would be an exhibition of ecclesiastical paraphernalia. We did not believe it was in accordance with the simplicity of the Gospel; and I told them how simple the Truth really was, but they would not believe me. Those sights they had seen had struck them much as they struck the convert who described the Confirmation service thus: "We went up and knelt down before a stick" (the Bishop's pastoral staff). They had observed the immense attention paid to all these sacred trifles, and naturally they appeared to them as essential to the whole; part of it, nearly all of it, in fact; and even where the service was in the vernacular, their attention had been entirely diverted from the thing heard by the things seen.
They turned to me again, and with all the energy in my words, I told them that neither we nor those with us ever went to any church where we thought there would be an exhibition of religious items. We didn't believe it aligned with the simplicity of the Gospel; and I explained how straightforward the Truth actually was, but they wouldn't believe me. The sights they had seen affected them much like the convert who described the Confirmation service this way: "We went up and knelt down before a stick" (the Bishop's pastoral staff). They noticed the enormous attention given to all these sacred little things, and understandably, they seemed essential to the whole service; a part of it, almost all of it, in fact; and even when the service was in their own language, their focus had completely shifted from what was being said to what was being shown.
Then I thought of the description of a primitive Christianity service as given in 1 Corinthians. There the idea evidently was that if an outsider came in, or looked in, as Hindus and Mohammedans so often look in here, he should understand what was going on; and being convicted of his sin and need, should be "convinced"; "and so, falling down on his face, he will worship God, and report that God is in you of a truth." Compare the effect produced upon the minds of these Hindu men by what they saw of our services, with the effect intended to be produced by the Holy Ghost. Can we say we have improved upon His pattern?
Then I thought about how a primitive Christian service is described in 1 Corinthians. The idea there was that if an outsider came in, or looked in, like Hindus and Muslims often do here, they should understand what was happening; and feeling convicted of their sin and need, they would be "convinced"; "and so, falling down on their face, they will worship God and acknowledge that God is truly among you." Compare the impact our services have on these Hindu men with the impact that is intended by the Holy Spirit. Can we say we've improved on His model?
Oh for a return to the simplicity and power of the[248] Gospel of Christ! Then we should not roll stumbling-blocks like these in our Indian brother's way. Oh for a return to the days of the beginning of the Acts of the Apostles, to obscurity, and poverty, and suffering, and shame, and the utter absence of all earthly glory, and the winning of souls of a different make to the type thought sufficiently spiritual now! Oh for more of the signs of Apostleship—scars, and the cross—the real cross—the reproach of Christ the Crucified,—no mitre here, but there the crown!
Oh, for a return to the simplicity and power of the[248] Gospel of Christ! Then we wouldn’t put stumbling blocks in our Indian brothers' paths. Oh, for a return to the early days of the Acts of the Apostles, to obscurity, poverty, suffering, and shame, with no pursuit of earthly glory, and instead reaching souls who are truly different from what we now see as sufficiently spiritual! Oh, for more signs of true apostleship—scars, and the real cross—the shame of Christ the Crucified—no mitre here, but there the crown!
CHAPTER XXVII
Though ye know Him not
"I have known cases of young ministers dissuaded from facing the missionary call by those who posed as friends of Foreign Missions, and yet presumed to argue: 'Your spiritual power and intellectual attainments are needed by the Church at home; they would be wasted in the Foreign Field.' 'Spiritual power wasted' in a land like India! Where is it so sorely needed as in a continent where Satan has constructed his strongest fortresses and displayed the choicest masterpieces of his skill? 'Intellectual ability wasted' among a people whose scholars smile inwardly at the ignorance of the average Western! Brothers, if God is calling you, be not deterred by flimsy subterfuges such as these. You will need the power of God the Holy Ghost to make you an efficient missionary. You will find your reputation for scholarship put to the severest test in India. Here is ample scope alike for men of approved spiritual power and for intellectual giants. And so I repeat, if God is calling you, buckle on your sword, come to the fight, and win your spurs among the cultured sons of India."
"I've seen young ministers talked out of answering the call to be missionaries by people who claimed to support Foreign Missions, yet argued, 'Your spiritual strength and smarts are needed by the Church at home; they would be wasted abroad.' 'Wasted spiritual strength' in a place like India! Where is it more desperately needed than in a continent where evil has built its strongest fortresses and showcased the best of its tricks? 'Wasted intellectual ability' among people whose scholars secretly laugh at the ignorance of most Westerners! Brothers, if God is calling you, don't let flimsy excuses like these hold you back. You'll need the power of the Holy Spirit to be an effective missionary. Your reputation as a scholar will be seriously tested in India. There’s plenty of room for both spiritually strong individuals and intellectual giants. So I say again, if God is calling you, gear up, join the battle, and prove yourself among the educated sons of India."
At first he reminded me of a sea anemone, with all its tentacles drawn inside, but gradually one by one they came out, and I saw what he really was; and I think the great Christian scholar, who laboured so hard to understand and translate into words the intricacies and mysteries of Indian thought, would have felt a little repaid had he known how his work would help in the practical business of a missionary's life. Part of our business is to meet the mind with which we are dealing half-way with quick comprehension. It is in this Sir Monier Williams helps.
At first, he reminded me of a sea anemone with all its tentacles retracted, but gradually they came out, one by one, and I saw who he really was. I think the great Christian scholar, who worked so hard to understand and translate the complexities and mysteries of Indian thought, would have felt somewhat rewarded if he had known how his work would assist in the practical aspects of a missionary's life. Part of our job is to connect with the minds we engage with by understanding them quickly. This is where Sir Monier Williams makes a difference.
When once this man felt himself understood, his whole attitude changed. At first, expecting, I suppose, that he was being mistaken for "an ignorant heathen" and worshipper of stocks and stones, he hardly took the trouble to do more than answer, as he thought, a fool according to his folly. The tentacles were all in then.
When this man felt he was finally understood, everything about him shifted. At first, probably thinking he was being mistaken for "an ignorant heathen" and a worshipper of lifeless objects, he barely bothered to respond, believing he was just replying to a fool in a foolish way. The tentacles were all in then.
But that passed soon, and he pointed to the shed behind him, where two or three life-size idol horses stood and said how childish he knew it was, foolish and vain. But then, what else could be done? Idols are not objects of worship, and never were intended so to be; their only use is to help the uninitiated to worship Something. If nothing were shown them, they would worship nothing; and a non-worshipping human being is an animal, not a man.
But that didn’t last long, and he pointed to the shed behind him, where two or three life-size model horses stood and admitted how childish he knew it was, foolish and vain. But then, what else could he do? Idols aren’t objects of worship, and they were never meant to be; their only purpose is to help those who are new to worship Something. If nothing were shown to them, they would worship nothing; and a person who doesn’t worship is just an animal, not a human.
He went on to answer the objections to this means of quickening intelligent worship by explaining how, in higher and purer ways, the thinkers of Hinduism had tried to make the unthinking think. "Look at our[251] temples," he said. "There is a central shrine, with only one light in it. The darkness of the shrine symbolises the darkness of the world, of life and death and being. For life is a darkness, a whirlpool of dark waters. We stand on its edge, but we do not understand it. It is dark, but light there must be; one great light. So we show this certainty by the symbol of the one light in the shrine, in the very heart of our temples."
He continued to respond to the objections regarding this method of enhancing thoughtful worship by explaining how, in deeper and more refined ways, the thinkers of Hinduism had attempted to encourage the unthinking to contemplate. "Look at our[251] temples," he said. "There’s a central shrine with just one light in it. The darkness of the shrine represents the darkness of the world, of life and death and existence. Because life is a darkness, a swirling mass of dark waters. We stand on its brink, yet we don’t fully grasp it. It’s dark, but there must be light; one great light. So we express this certainty through the symbol of the single light in the shrine, at the very heart of our temples."
This led on to quotations from his own books, questioning the validity of such lights, which he finished the moment one began them, and this again led to our Lord's words,—how strong they sounded, and how direct—"I am the Light of the World." But he could not accept them in their simplicity, and here it was that the book I had been reading came in so helpfully. He spoke rapidly and eagerly, and such a mixture of Sanscrit and Tamil that if I had not had the clue I am not sure I could have followed him, and to have misunderstood him then might have driven all the tentacles in, and made it harder for the next one whom the Spirit may send to win his confidence.
This led to quotes from his own books, questioning the validity of those insights, which he finished as soon as they began, and this again brought to mind our Lord's words—how powerful and straightforward they sounded—"I am the Light of the World." But he couldn’t accept them at face value, and that’s where the book I had been reading was so helpful. He spoke quickly and passionately, using such a mix of Sanskrit and Tamil that if I hadn’t had the background knowledge, I’m not sure I could have followed him. To misunderstand him at that moment might have closed him off completely and made it harder for the next person the Spirit sends to gain his trust.
He told me that, after much study of many religions, he held the eternal existence of one, Brahma. The human spirit, he said, is not really distinct from the Divine Spirit, but identical with it; the apparent distinction arises from our illusory view of things: there is absolutely no distinction in spirit. Mind is distinct, he admitted, and body is distinct, but spirit is identical; so that, "in a definitely defined sense, I am God, God is I. The so-called two are one, in all essentials of being." And he[252] touched himself and said, "I am Brahma. I myself, my real I, am God."
He told me that, after studying many religions, he believed in the eternal existence of one, Brahma. He said that the human spirit isn’t really separate from the Divine Spirit; it’s actually the same. The apparent separation comes from our misguided perception of things: there’s truly no separation in spirit. He acknowledged that the mind is distinct, and the body is distinct, but spirit is the same; so, "in a clear sense, I am God, and God is me. The so-called two are one in all essential ways." Then he touched himself and said, "I am Brahma. I, my true self, am God."
It sounds terribly irreverent, but he did not for a moment mean it so. Go back to Gen. ii. 7, and try to define the meaning of the words, "the breath of life," and you will, if you think enough, find yourself in a position to understand how the Hindu, without revelation, ends as he does in delusion.
It may sound really disrespectful, but he didn’t mean it that way at all. Go back to Gen. ii. 7, and try to figure out what “the breath of life” means, and you’ll, if you think about it enough, find yourself in a place to see how the Hindu, without revelation, ends up in delusion.
But, intertwined with this central fibre of his faith, there were strands of a strange philosophy; he held strongly the doctrine of Illusion, by which the one impersonal Spirit, "in the illusion which overspreads it, is to the external world what yarn is to cloth, what milk is to curds, what clay is to a jar, but only in that illusion," that is, "he is not the actual material cause of the world, as clay of a jar, but the illusory material cause, as a rope might be of a snake"; and the spirit of man "is that Spirit, personalised and limited by the power of illusion; and the life of every living spirit is nothing but an infinitesimal arc of the one endless circle of infinite existence."
But, mixed in with this core belief of his, there were strands of a strange philosophy; he strongly believed in the doctrine of Illusion, by which the one impersonal Spirit, "in the illusion that covers it, is to the external world what yarn is to cloth, what milk is to curds, what clay is to a jar, but only in that illusion," meaning "he is not the actual material cause of the world, like clay is to a jar, but the illusory material cause, like a rope might be to a snake"; and the spirit of man "is that Spirit, personalized and limited by the power of illusion; and the life of every living spirit is nothing but an infinitesimal arc of the one endless circle of infinite existence."
Of course there are answers to this sort of reasoning which are perfectly convincing to the Western, but they fail to appeal to the Eastern mind. You suggest a practical test as to the reality or otherwise of this "Illusion"—touch something, run a pin into yourself, do anything to prove to yourself your own actuality, and he has his answer ready. Though theoretically he holds that there is one, and only one, Spirit, he "virtually believes in three conditions of being—the real, the practical, and the illusory; for while he affirms[253] that the one Spirit, Brahma, alone has a real existence, he allows a practical separate existence to human spirits, to the world, and to the personal God or gods, as well as an illusory existence. Hence every object is to be dealt with practically, as if it were really what it appears to be."
Of course, there are answers to this kind of reasoning that are totally convincing to Westerners, but they don't resonate with the Eastern mindset. You suggest a practical test to determine the reality of this "Illusion"—touch something, poke a pin into yourself, do anything to prove your own existence, and he has his response ready. While he theoretically believes that there is one and only one Spirit, he practically believes in three states of being—the real, the practical, and the illusory; for while he asserts that the one Spirit, Brahma, alone has real existence, he acknowledges a practically separate existence for human spirits, the world, and personal gods, as well as an illusory existence. Thus, every object is to be treated practically, as if it truly is what it appears to be.
This is only the end of a long and very confusing argument, which I expect I did not half understand, and he concluded it by quoting a stanza, thus translated by Dr. Pope, from an ancient Tamil classic—
This is just the end of a long and very confusing argument, which I probably didn't fully understand, and he wrapped it up by quoting a stanza, as translated by Dr. Pope, from an ancient Tamil classic—
O infinite splendor, unknown, truly
"I don't know what to do!"
"He is far away from me," he said, "a distant God to reach," and when I quoted from St. Augustine, "To Him who is everywhere, men come not by travelling, but by loving," and showed him the words, which in Tamil are splendidly negative, "He is NOT far from every one of us," he eluded the comfort and went back to the old question, "What is Truth? How can one prove what is Truth?"
"He is so far away from me," he said, "a distant God to reach," and when I quoted St. Augustine, "To Him who is everywhere, people don't get to by traveling, but by loving," and showed him the words, which in Tamil are beautifully negative, "He is NOT far from any of us," he shrugged off the comfort and returned to the old question, "What is Truth? How can someone prove what is Truth?"
There is an Indian story of a queen who "proved the truth by tasting the food." The story tells how her husband, who dearly loved her, and whom she dearly loved, lost his kingdom, wandered away with his queen into the forest, left her there as she slept, hoping she would fare better without him, and followed her long afterwards to her father's court, deformed, disguised, a servant among servants, a cook. Then her maidens came to her, told her of the wonderful cooking, magical in manner, marvellous in flavour and in fragrance. They are[254] sure it is the long-lost king come back to her, and they bid her believe and rejoice. But the queen fears it may not be true. She must prove it, she must taste the food. They bring her some. She tastes, and knows. And the story ends in joy. "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good." "If any man will do His Will, he shall know."
There’s an Indian story about a queen who “proved the truth by tasting the food.” The story describes how her husband, who loved her deeply and who she loved just as much, lost his kingdom and wandered into the forest with her. He left her there while she slept, hoping she would be better off without him, and later followed her to her father’s court, deformed and disguised as a servant, a cook. Then her ladies-in-waiting came to her and told her about the amazing cooking, magical in style, and incredible in taste and smell. They believe it’s the long-lost king returned to her, encouraging her to believe and rejoice. But the queen is unsure if it’s really him. She needs to prove it, she must taste the food. They bring her some. She tastes, and knows. And the story ends in joy. “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.” “If anyone will do His Will, he will know.”
We got closer in thought after this. For the Oriental, a story is an illuminating thing. "I have sought for the way of truth," he said, "and sought for the way of light and life. Behind me, as I look, there is darkness. Before me there is only the Unknown." And then, with an earnestness I cannot describe, he said, "I worship Him I know not, the Unknown God." "Whom, therefore, ye worship, though ye know Him not, Him declare I unto you." One could only press home God's own answer to his words.
We became closer in thought after this. For the Eastern person, a story is an enlightening thing. "I have searched for the path of truth," he said, "and looked for the way of light and life. Behind me, as I look back, there is darkness. In front of me, there is only the Unknown." Then, with a sincerity I can't fully express, he said, "I worship Him I do not know, the Unknown God." "Therefore, whom you worship even though you do not know Him, I declare to you." One could only emphasize God's own response to his words.
One other verse held him in its power before I went: "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life." With those two verses I left him.
One other verse kept him captivated before I left: "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life." With those two verses, I walked away.
It was evening, and he stood in the shadow, looking into it. There was a tangle of undergrowth, and a heavy grove of palms. It was all dark as you looked in. Behind was the shrine of the demon steeds, the god and his wife who ride out at night to chase evil spirits away. Near by was an old tree, also in shade, with an idol under it. It was all in shadow, and full of shadowy nothings, all dark.
It was evening, and he was standing in the shadow, looking into it. There was a mess of undergrowth and a thick grove of palms. It was completely dark as you looked in. Behind him was the shrine of the demon horses, where the god and his wife ride out at night to chase away evil spirits. Nearby was an old tree, also in the shade, with an idol underneath it. Everything was in shadow, filled with shadowy uncertainties, all dark.
But just outside, when I went, there was light; the soft light of the after-glow, which comes soon after the sun has set, as a sign that there is a sun somewhere, and shining. And I thought of his very last words to me,[255] but I cannot describe the earnestness of them, "I worship the Unknown God."
But just outside, when I walked out, there was light; the soft light of the afterglow that appears shortly after the sun sets, serving as a reminder that there’s still a sun shining somewhere. I remembered his very last words to me,[255] but I can't put into words how sincere he was when he said, "I worship the Unknown God."
Friends, who worship a God whom you know, whose joy in life is to know Him, will you remember and pray for that one, who to-day is seeking, I think in truth, to find the Unknown God?
Friends, who worship a God you know, whose joy in life is to know Him, will you remember and pray for that one who is seeking, I believe in truth, to find the Unknown God today?
CHAPTER XXVIII
How Long?
"I shivered as if standing in the neighbourhood of hell."
"I shivered like I was standing in the neighborhood of hell."
The mother startled me. Such a face, or such a want of a face. One was looking at what had once been a face, but was now a strange spoiled thing, with strange hard eyes, so unlike the child's. There was no other feature fully shaped; it was one dreadful blank. She listened that day, with almost eagerness. She understood so quickly, too, one felt she must have heard before. But she told us nothing about herself, and we only knew that there was something very wrong. Her surroundings told us that.[257]
The mother surprised me. What a face, or lack of one. It was like looking at what used to be a face, but now it was a strange, ruined thing, with weird, cold eyes, so different from a child's. There were no other features clearly defined; it was just a horrifying blank. She listened that day with almost an eagerness. She understood so quickly, too; it felt like she must have heard it all before. But she said nothing about herself, and we only knew that something was very wrong. Her surroundings made that clear.[257]
Before we went again we heard who she was; a relative of one of our most honoured pastors, himself a convert years ago. Then a great longing possessed us to try to save her from a life for which she had not been trained, and especially we longed to save her little girl, and we went to try. This time the mother welcomed us, and told us how our words had brought back things she had heard when she was young. "But now it is all different, for I am different," and she told us her story. . . . "So I took poison, but it acted not as I intended. It only destroyed my face," and she touched the poor remnant with her hand, and went on with her terrible tale. There were people listening outside, and she spoke in a hoarse whisper. We could hardly believe she meant what she said, as she told of the fate proposed for her child. And oh, how we besought her then and there to give up the life, and let us help her, and that dear little one. She seemed moved. Something awoke within her and strove. Tears filled those hard eyes and rolled down her cheeks as we pleaded with her, in the name of all that was motherly, not to doom her little innocent girl, not to push her with her own hands down to hell. At last she yielded, promised that if in one week's time we would come again she would give her up to us, and as for herself, she would think of it, and perhaps she also would give up the life; she hated it, she said.
Before we went back, we found out who she was; a relative of one of our most respected pastors, who had himself converted years ago. A strong desire came over us to try to save her from a life she wasn’t prepared for, and especially to save her little girl, so we went to help. This time, the mother welcomed us and shared how our words had reminded her of things she had heard when she was younger. "But now everything is different because I am different," she said, and then she told us her story. “So I took poison, but it didn’t work as I intended. It only ruined my face," she said, touching the poor remains with her hand, and continued with her heartbreaking tale. There were people listening outside, and she spoke in a hoarse whisper. We could hardly believe she meant what she said as she described the fate that was planned for her child. We desperately pleaded with her in that moment to leave that life behind and let us help her and that precious little girl. She seemed touched. Something stirred within her and fought back. Tears filled her hardened eyes and rolled down her cheeks as we begged her, in the name of everything maternal, not to condemn her innocent girl to the same fate, not to push her down to hell with her own hands. Finally, she agreed, promising that if we returned in a week, she would give her child up to us, and for herself, she would think it over, and maybe she would also leave that life; she said she hated it.
There was another girl there, a fair, quiet girl of fifteen. She was ill and very suffering, and we tried for her too; but there seemed no hope. "Take the little one; you are not too late for her," the mother said, and[258] we went with the promise, "One more week and she is yours."
There was another girl there, a pale, quiet girl of fifteen. She was sick and in a lot of pain, and we tried for her too; but there seemed to be no hope. "Take the little one; you're not too late for her," the mother said, and[258] we left with the promise, "One more week and she's yours."
The week passed, and every day we prayed for that little one. Then when the time came, we went. Hope and fear alternated within us. One felt sick with dread lest anything had happened to break the mother's word, and yet one hoped. The house door was open. The people in the street smiled as we stopped our bandy, got out, and went in. I remembered their smiles afterwards, and understood. The mother was there: in a corner, crouching in pain, was the girl; on the floor asleep, drugged, lay the child with her little arms stretched out. The mother's eyes were hard.
The week went by, and each day we prayed for that little one. When the time finally arrived, we set out. Hope and fear battled within us. I felt sick with worry that something might have happened to go against the mother’s word, but still, there was hope. The front door was open. People in the street smiled as we stopped our carriage, got out, and went inside. I remembered their smiles later and understood. The mother was there: crouching in pain in a corner was the girl; on the floor, asleep and drugged, lay the child with her little arms extended. The mother’s eyes were cold.
It was no use. Outside in the street the people sat on their verandahs and laughed. "Offer twenty thousand rupees, and see if her mother will give her to you!" shouted one. Inside we sat beside that mother, not knowing what to say.
It was pointless. Outside on the street, people sat on their porches and laughed. "Offer twenty thousand rupees, and see if her mom will let you have her!" shouted one. Inside, we sat next to that mom, unsure of what to say.
The child stirred in her sleep, and turned. "Will you go?" said the mother very roughly in her ear. She opened listless, senseless eyes. She had no wish to go. "She wanted to come last week," we said. The mother hardened, and pushed the child, and rolled her over with her foot. "She will not go now," she said.
The child shifted in her sleep and turned. "Are you going?" the mother asked sharply in her ear. She opened her eyes, blank and unresponsive. She didn't want to go. "She wanted to come last week," we said. The mother grew stern, pushed the child, and rolled her over with her foot. "She won't go now," she said.
Oh, it did seem pitiful! One of those pitiful, pitiful things which never grow less pitiful because they are common everywhere. That little girl, and this!
Oh, it really looked sad! One of those sad, sad things that never stop being sad because they are so common everywhere. That little girl, and this!
We took the mother's hands in ours, and pleaded once again. And then words failed us. They sometimes do. There are things that stifle words.
We took the mother's hands in ours and pleaded once again. Then words failed us. They sometimes do. Some things can make you speechless.
At last they asked us to go. The girl in the corner[259] would not speak—could not, perhaps she only moaned; we passed her and went out. The mother followed us, half sorry for us,—there is something of the woman left in her,—half sullen, with a lowering sullenness. "You will never see her again," she said, and she named the town, one of the Sodoms of this Province, to which the child was soon to be sent; and then, just a little ashamed of her broken promise, she added, "I would have let her go, but he would not, no, never; and she does not belong to me now, so what could I do?" We did not ask her who "he" was. We knew. Nor did we ask the price he had paid. We knew; fifty rupees, about three pounds, was the price paid down for a younger child bought for the same purpose not long ago. This one's price might be a little higher. That is all.
At last, they asked us to leave. The girl in the corner[259] wouldn’t speak—maybe she couldn’t; she just whimpered. We walked past her and headed out. The mother trailed behind us, half feeling sorry for us—there’s still something of the woman in her—half sulking, with a sullen expression. "You will never see her again," she said, naming the town, one of the worst places in this Province, where the child was soon to be sent. Then, a bit ashamed of her broken promise, she added, "I would have let her go, but he wouldn’t allow it, no, never; and she doesn’t belong to me anymore, so what could I do?" We didn’t ask her who "he" was. We already knew. We also didn’t ask how much he had paid. We knew; it was fifty rupees, about three pounds, which was the amount paid for a younger child bought for the same purpose not long ago. This one’s price might be a little higher. That’s all.
We stood by the bullock cart ready to get in. The people were watching. The mother had gone back into the house. Then a great wave of longing for that child swept over us again. We turned and looked at the little form as it lay on the floor, dead, as it seemed, to all outward things. Oh that it had been dead! And we pleaded once more with all our heart, and once more failed.
We stood next to the bullock cart, ready to get in. The crowd was watching us. The mother had gone back inside the house. Then a strong wave of longing for that child hit us again. We turned and looked at the little body lying on the floor, seemingly dead to the world. If only it really were dead! And we begged once again with all our hearts, but once more, we failed.
We drove away. We could see them crowding to look after us, and we shut our eyes to shut out the sight of their smiles. The bullock bells jingled too gladly, it seemed, and we shut our ears to shut out the sound. And then we shut ourselves in with God, who knew all about it, and cared. How long, O God, how long?
We drove off. We could see them gathering to watch us, and we closed our eyes to block out their smiles. The bullock bells jingled a bit too cheerfully, it seemed, and we covered our ears to mute the sound. And then we isolated ourselves with God, who understood everything and cared. How long, O God, how long?
And now we have heard that she has gone, and we[260] know, from watching what happened before, just what will happen now. How day by day they will sear that child's soul with red-hot irons, till it does not feel or care any more. And a child's seared soul is an awful thing.
And now we’ve heard that she’s gone, and we[260] know, from seeing what happened before, exactly what will happen next. Day by day, they will torment that child’s spirit with intense pain, until it doesn’t feel or care anymore. And a child’s emotionally scarred spirit is a terrible thing.
Forgive us for words which may hurt and shock; we are telling the day's life-story. Hurt or not, shocked or not, should you not know the truth? How can you pray as you ought if you only know fragments of truth? Truth is a loaf; you may cut it up nicely, like thin bread and butter, with all the crusts carefully trimmed. No one objects to it then. Or you can cut it as it comes, crust and all.
Forgive us for words that may hurt or surprise you; we're sharing the day's story. Whether it hurts or surprises you, shouldn't you know the truth? How can you pray the way you should if you only know parts of the truth? Truth is like a loaf of bread; you can slice it up neatly, like thin bread and butter with all the crusts trimmed off. Nobody minds that. Or you can slice it as it is, crust and all.
Think of that child to-night as you gather your children about you, and look in their innocent faces and their clear, frank eyes. Our very last news of her was that she had been in some way influenced to spread a lie about the place, first sign of the searing begun. I think of her as I saw her that first day, bright as a bird; and then of her as I saw her last, drugged on the floor; I think of her as she must be now, bright again, but with a different brightness—not the little girl I knew—never to be quite that little girl again.
Think of that child tonight as you gather your kids around you and look into their innocent faces and clear, honest eyes. The last we heard about her was that she had somehow been influenced to spread a lie about the place, the first sign of the damage starting. I think of her as I saw her on that first day, bright as a bird; and then of how I saw her last, drugged on the floor; I think of her as she must be now, bright again, but with a different kind of brightness—not the little girl I knew—never to be exactly that little girl again.
Oh, comrades, do you wonder that we care? Do you wonder that we plead with you to care? Do you wonder that we have no words sometimes, and fall back into silence, or break out into words wrung from one more gifted with expression, who knew what it was to feel!
Oh, friends, do you wonder why we care? Do you wonder why we urge you to care? Do you wonder why we sometimes have no words and fall silent, or break out into words taken from someone more skilled at expressing feelings, who understood what it meant to feel!
With such words, then, we close; looking back once more at that child on the floor, with the hands stretched[261] out and the heavy eyes shut—and we know what it was they saw when they opened from that sleep—
With those words, we conclude; taking one last look at that child on the floor, with hands outstretched[261] and heavy eyes closed—and we understand what they saw when they woke from that sleep—
Haven't you said that whatever is done
To Your weakest and humblest one,
Is it even done to You?
That agonizing cry rises to the heavens,
Filling the arches of the empty sky,
How long, O God, how long?
CHAPTER XXIX
What do we count them worth?
"If we are simply to pray to the extent of a simple and pleasant and enjoyable exercise, and know nothing of watching in prayer, and of weariness in prayer, we shall not draw down the blessing that we may. We shall not sustain our missionaries who are overwhelmed with the appalling darkness of heathenism. . . . We must serve God even to the point of suffering, and each one ask himself, In what degree, in what point am I extending, by personal suffering, by personal self-denial, to the point of pain, the kingdom of Christ? . . . It is ever true that what costs little is worth little."
"If we only pray as a simple, pleasant, and enjoyable activity, without understanding the need to stay alert in prayer or experiencing weariness in it, we won't receive the blessings we could. We won't support our missionaries who are struggling with the overwhelming darkness of non-belief. We must serve God even if it means suffering, and each of us should ask ourselves, To what extent am I contributing to the kingdom of Christ through my personal suffering and self-denial, even to the point of pain? It's always true that what costs little is worth little."
Then in the evening she and all her neighbours gathered in the market square for the open-air meeting. Shining of Life spoke for the first time. "I was a Hindu a year ago. I worshipped the gods you worship. Did they hear me when I prayed? No! They are dead gods. God is the living God! Come to the living God!"
Then in the evening, she and all her neighbors gathered in the market square for the outdoor meeting. Shining of Life spoke for the first time. "I was a Hindu a year ago. I worshipped the gods you worship. Did they hear me when I prayed? No! They are dead gods. God is the living God! Come to the living God!"
One after the other the boys all witnessed that evening. Their clear boyish voices rang out round the ring. And some listened, and some laughed.
One after another, the boys experienced that evening. Their bright, youthful voices echoed around the circle. Some listened, and some laughed.

Behind us there was a little demon temple. It had a verandah barred down with heavy bars. Within these bars you could see the form of an idol. Beside us there was a shrine. Someone had put our lanterns on the top of this pyramid shrine. Before us there was the mass of dark faces. Behind us, then, black walls, black bars, a black shape; before us the black meeting, black losing itself in black. Around us light, light shining into the black. That was as it was a year ago. Now we are back at Dohnavur, and almost the first place we went to was this village, where we had taken the light and set it up in the heart of the dark. An earnest young schoolmaster had been sent to keep that light burning there, and we went expectantly. Had the light spread? We went straight to our old friend's house. She was as friendly as ever in her queer, rough, country way, but her heart had not been set alight. "Tell me what is the good of your Way? Will it fill the cavity within me?" and she struck herself a resounding smack in the region where food is supposed to go. "Will it stock my paddy-pots, or nourish my bulls, or cause my palms to bear good juice? If it will not do all these good things, what is the use of it?"
Behind us was a small demon temple. It had a porch secured with heavy bars. Through these bars, you could see the shape of an idol. Next to us was a shrine. Someone had placed our lanterns on top of this pyramid-shaped shrine. In front of us was a crowd of dark faces. Behind us, there were black walls, black bars, a black silhouette; in front of us was a black gathering, merging into darkness. Around us was light, shining into the black. That was how it was a year ago. Now we are back at Dohnavur, and almost the first place we visited was this village, where we had brought the light and established it in the center of the darkness. An earnest young schoolmaster had been sent to keep that light shining there, and we approached with anticipation. Had the light spread? We went straight to our old friend's house. She was just as welcoming as ever in her quirky, rough, country way, but her heart hadn’t been ignited. "Tell me, what good is your Way? Will it fill the emptiness inside me?" and she gave herself a loud slap on the stomach, where food is supposed to go. "Will it fill my rice storage, or feed my bulls, or make my palms bear sweet fruit? If it won’t do all those good things, what’s the point?"
"If it is so important, why did you not come before?" The dear old woman who asked that lived here, and we searched through the labyrinthic courtyards to find her, but failed. The girl who listened in her pain is well now, but she says the desire she had has cooled. We found two or three who seem lighting up; may God's wind blow the flame to a blaze! But we came back feeling that we must learn more of the power of prayer[264] ourselves if these cold souls are to catch fire. We remembered how, when we were children, we caught the sunlight, and focussed it, and set bits of paper on fire; and we longed that our prayers might be a lens to focus the Love-light of our God, and set their souls on fire.
"If it's that important, why didn't you come earlier?" The sweet old woman who asked that lived here, and we searched through the maze-like courtyards to find her, but we didn't succeed. The girl who listened while in pain is doing well now, but she says the desire she once had has faded. We found a couple of people who seem to be igniting; may God's wind fan that flame into a blaze! But we returned feeling that we need to understand more about the power of prayer ourselves if these indifferent souls are going to catch fire. We remembered how, when we were kids, we caught the sunlight, focused it, and set bits of paper on fire; and we wished that our prayers could be a lens to focus the Love-light of our God, igniting their souls.
Just one little bit of encouragement may be told by way of cheer. Blessing went off one day to see if the Village of the Warrior were more friendlily inclined, and Golden went to the Petra where they vowed they would never let us in. Before Blessing entered the village she knelt down under a banyan tree, and, remembering Abraham's servant, prayed for a sign to strengthen her faith that God would work in the place. While she prayed a child came and looked at her; then seeing her pray, she said, "Has that Missie Ammal sent you who came here more than a year ago?" Blessing said "Yes." Then the child repeated the chorus we had taught the children that first day. "None of us forget," she said; and told Blessing how the parents had agreed to allow us to teach if ever we should return. The village had been opened. He goeth before.
Just a little bit of encouragement can be uplifting. Blessing set out one day to see if the Village of the Warrior was more welcoming, while Golden went to Petra, where they promised they would never let us in. Before Blessing entered the village, she knelt under a banyan tree and, recalling Abraham's servant, prayed for a sign to strengthen her faith that God would work in this place. While she was praying, a child approached and looked at her. When she saw Blessing praying, she asked, "Did Missie Ammal send you, the one who came here over a year ago?" Blessing replied, "Yes." The child then recited the song we had taught the children on that first day. "None of us forget," she said, and informed Blessing that the parents had agreed to let us teach if we ever returned. The village had been opened. He goes before.
Golden's experience was equally strengthening to our faith. In the very street where they held a public demonstration to cleanse the road defiled by our "low-caste" presence, twenty houses have opened, where she is a welcome visitor. But all this is only for Love's sake, they say. They do not yet want Christ; so let us focus the light!
Golden's experience strengthened our faith just as much. In the same street where they held a public demonstration to clean up the road dirtied by our "low-caste" presence, twenty houses have opened their doors to her, and she is a welcomed guest. But they say all this is just for Love's sake. They don't really want Christ yet, so let's focus on spreading the light!
Then there is need for the fire of God to burn the cords that hold souls down. There is one with whom the Spirit strove last year when we were here. But a cord[265] of sin was twined round her soul. She has a wicked brother-in-law, and a still more wicked sister, and together they plotted so evil a plot that, heathen though she is, she recoiled, and indignantly refused. So they quietly drugged her food, and did as they chose with her. And now the knot she did not tie, and which she wholly detested at first, seems doubly knotted by her own will. Oh, to know better how to use the burning-glass of prayer!
Then there's a need for God's fire to burn away the ties that weigh souls down. There was someone the Spirit was working with last year when we were here. But a sin [265] had wrapped around her soul. She has a wicked brother-in-law and an even more wicked sister, and together they came up with such a terrible plan that, even though she’s not a believer, she was horrified and refused indignantly. So they quietly drugged her food and did whatever they wanted with her. And now the knot she didn't create and truly hated at first seems even tighter, tied by her own choice. Oh, to learn better how to use the burning-glass of prayer!
There may be a certain amount of sentiment, theoretically at least, in breaking up new ground. The unknown holds possibilities, and it allures one on. But in retracing the track there is nothing whatever of this. The broad daylight of bare truth shows you everything just as it is. Will you look once more at things just as they are, though it is not an interesting look.
There might be some feeling, at least in theory, in exploring new territory. The unknown has its possibilities, and it pulls you in. But when you go back over the familiar path, there's none of that excitement. The clear light of stark reality reveals everything exactly as it is. Will you take another look at things just as they are, even though it’s not a very captivating view?
A courtyard where the women have often heard. May we come in? Oh yes, come in! But with us in comes an old fakeer of a specially villainous type. His body is plastered all over with mud; he has nothing on but mud. His hair is matted and powdered with ashes, his face is daubed with vermilion and yellow, his wicked old eyes squint viciously, and he shows all his teeth, crimson with betel, and snarls his various wants. The women say "Chee!" Then he rolls in the dust, and squirms, and wriggles, and howls; and he pours out such unclean vials of wrath that the women, coerced, give him all he demands, and he rolls off elsewhere.
A courtyard where the women often gather. Can we come in? Oh yes, come in! But with us comes an old fakeer of a particularly nasty kind. His body is covered in mud; he's only wearing mud. His hair is tangled and covered in ashes, his face is smeared with red and yellow, his wicked old eyes squint menacingly, and he shows all his teeth, stained crimson from betel, as he growls out his various demands. The women say, "Gross!" Then he rolls in the dirt, squirming and writhing, howling; he unleashes such filthy outbursts of anger that the women, feeling pressured, give him everything he asks for, and then he slithers off elsewhere.
Now may we read to the women? No! Many salaams, but they have no time. Last night there was a royal row between two friends in adjoining courtyards,[266] and family histories were laid bare, and pedigrees discovered. They are discussing these things to-day, and having heard it all before, they have no time to read.
Now can we read to the women? No! Many greetings, but they don’t have time. Last night there was a big fight between two friends in neighboring courtyards,[266] and family histories were exposed, and lineages uncovered. They’re talking about those things today, and since they’ve heard it all before, they have no time to read.
Another courtyard, more refined; here the fakeer's opposite, a dignified ascetic, sits in silent meditation. "We know it all! You told us before!" But the women are friendly, and we go in; and after a long and earnest talk the white-haired grandmother touches her rosary. "This is my ladder to heaven." The berries are fine and set in chased gold, but they are only solidified tears, tears shed in wrath by their god, they say, which resolved themselves into these berries. How can tears make ladders to heaven? She does not know. She does not care. And a laugh runs round, but one's heart does not laugh. Such ladders are dangerous.
Another courtyard, more elegant; here the opposite of the fakir, a serious ascetic, sits in quiet meditation. "We know everything! You already told us!" But the women are kind, and we go inside; after a long and sincere conversation, the white-haired grandmother touches her rosary. "This is my ladder to heaven." The berries are beautiful and set in ornate gold, but they are just solidified tears, tears shed in anger by their god, they say, which turned into these berries. How can tears create ladders to heaven? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t care. A laugh circulates, but one's heart doesn’t laugh. Such ladders are risky.
Another house; here the men are kind, and freely let us in and out. The Way, they say, is very good; they have heard the Iyer preach. But one day there is a stir in the house. One of the sons is very ill. He has been suffering for some time; now he is suddenly getting worse, and suspicions are aroused. Then the women whisper the truth: the father and he are at daggers drawn, and the father is slowly poisoning him—small doses of strychnine are doing the work. The stir is not very violent, but quite sufficient to make an excuse for not wanting to listen well. This sort of thing throws us back upon God. Lord, teach us to pray! Teach us the real secret of fiery fervency in prayer. We know so little of it. Lord, teach us to pray![267]
Another house; here the men are kind and freely let us come and go. They say the Way is really good; they’ve listened to the Iyer preach. But one day there’s a commotion in the house. One of the sons is very sick. He’s been unwell for a while, but now he’s suddenly getting worse, and suspicions arise. Then the women whisper the truth: the father and son are in a bitter conflict, and the father is slowly poisoning him—small doses of strychnine are doing the trick. The commotion isn’t too intense, but enough to make a reason for not wanting to pay attention. This kind of situation drives us back to God. Lord, teach us to pray! Teach us the real secret of passionate fervency in prayer. We know so little about it. Lord, teach us to pray![267]
"Oh, Amma! Amma! do not pray! Your prayers are troubling me!"
"Oh, Mom! Mom! please don’t pray! Your prayers are bothering me!"
We all looked up in astonishment. We had just had our Band Prayer Meeting, when a woman came rushing into the room, and began to exclaim like this. She was the mother of one of our girls, of whom I told you once before. She is still in the Terrible's den. Now the mother was all excitement, and poured out a curious story.
We all looked up in shock. We had just had our Band Prayer Meeting when a woman burst into the room, exclaiming loudly. She was the mother of one of our girls, whom I mentioned before. She's still in the Terrible's den. Now the mother was completely worked up and shared a strange story.
"When you went away last year I prayed. I prayed and prayed, and prayed again to my god to dispel your work. My daughter's heart was impressed with your words. I cried to my god to wash the words out. Has he washed them out? Oh no! And I prayed for a bridegroom, and one came; and the cart was ready to take her away, and a hindrance occurred; the marriage fell through. And I wept till my eyes well-nigh dissolved. And again another bridegroom came, and again an obstacle occurred. And yet again did a bridegroom come, and yet again an obstacle; and I cannot get my daughter 'tied,' and the neighbours mock, and my Caste is disgraced"—and the poor old mother cried, just sobbed in her shame and confusion of face. "Then I went to my god again, and said, 'What more can I offer you? Have I not given you all I have? And you reject my prayer!' Then in a dream my god appeared, and he said, 'Tell the Christians not to pray. I can do nothing against their prayers. Their prayers are hindering me!' And so, I beseech you, stop your prayers for fourteen days—only fourteen days—till I get my daughter tied!"[268]
"When you left last year, I prayed. I prayed and prayed, asking my god to erase your influence. My daughter was touched by your words. I begged my god to remove those words. Has he removed them? Oh no! I prayed for a groom, and one showed up; the cart was ready to take her away, and then something got in the way; the wedding fell through. I wept until my eyes felt like they would dissolve. Then another groom came, and once again there was an obstacle. Again, another groom came, and yet another obstacle; and I can’t get my daughter married, and the neighbors mock me, and my caste is embarrassed"—and the poor old mother cried, just sobbed in her shame and confusion. "Then I went to my god again and said, 'What more can I give you? Haven't I given you everything I have? And you still refuse my prayer!' Then, in a dream, my god appeared and said, 'Tell the Christians not to pray. I can do nothing against their prayers. Their prayers are getting in my way!' So, I beg you, stop your prayers for fourteen days—just fourteen days—until I can get my daughter married!"[268]
"And after she is tied?" we asked. "Oh, then she may freely follow your God! I will hinder her no more!"
"And what happens after she's tied?" we asked. "Oh, then she can freely follow your God! I won't stop her anymore!"
Poor old mother! All lies are allowed where such things are concerned. We knew the proposed bridegroom came from a place three hundred miles distant, and the idea was to carry the poor girl off by force, as soon as she was "tied." We have been praying night and day to God to hinder this. And He is hindering! But there is need to go on. That mother is a devotee. She has received the afflatus. Sometimes at night it falls upon her, and she dances the wild, wicked dance, and tries to seize the girl, who shrinks into the farthest corner of the little house; and she dances round her, and chants the chant which even in daylight has power in it, but which at night appeals unspeakably. Once the girl almost gave way, and then in her desperation, hardly knowing the sin of it, ran to the place where poison was kept, drank enough to kill two, straight off, then lay down on the floor to die. Better die than do what they wanted her to do, she thought. But they found out what she had done, and drastic means were immediately used, and the poison only made her ill, and caused her days of violent pain. So there is need for the hindering prayer. Lord, teach us how to pray!
Poor old mother! All lies are allowed when it comes to such things. We knew the intended groom was from three hundred miles away, and the plan was to forcibly take the poor girl as soon as she was "tied." We have been praying day and night to God to stop this. And He is stopping it! But we need to keep going. That mother is devoted. She has received inspiration. Sometimes at night it comes over her, and she dances a wild, wicked dance, trying to grab the girl, who shrinks into the farthest corner of the little house; she dances around her and chants a spell that holds power even in daylight, but at night it’s utterly compelling. Once, the girl nearly gave in, and in her desperation, barely understanding the sin of it, she ran to where the poison was kept, drank enough to kill two people instantly, then lay down on the floor to die. She thought it was better to die than to do what they wanted her to do. But they found out what she had done, and drastic measures were immediately taken, and the poison only made her sick, causing her days of intense pain. So we need to continue our prayers for hindrance. Lord, teach us how to pray!
Is India crammed with the horrible? "Picturesque," they call it, who have "done it" in a month or two, and written a book to describe it. And the most picturesque part, they agree, is connected with the temples.
Is India filled with the terrible? They call it "picturesque," those who have "experienced" it in a month or two and written a book to describe it. And the most picturesque part, they all agree, is linked to the temples.
India ends off in a pointed rock; you can stand at the very point of the rock, with only ocean before you, and almost all Asia behind. A temple is set at the end of[269] the point, as if claiming the land for its own. We took our convert boys and girls to the Cape for the Christmas holidays, and one morning some of us spent an hour under an old wall near the temple, which wall, being full of hermit crabs, is very interesting. We were watching the entertaining ways of these degenerate creatures when, through the soft sea sounds, we heard the sound of a Brahman's voice, and looking up, saw this:
India ends at a sharp rock; you can stand at the very tip of the rock, with nothing but ocean in front of you and almost all of Asia behind you. A temple is located at the end of[269] the point, as if to claim the land for itself. We brought our boys and girls who converted to Christianity to the Cape for the Christmas holidays, and one morning some of us spent an hour under an old wall near the temple, which was full of hermit crabs and very fascinating. We were observing the amusing behavior of these odd creatures when, amidst the gentle sounds of the sea, we heard the voice of a Brahman, and looking up, we saw this:
A little group of five, sitting between the rocks and the sea, giving a touch of life to the scene, and making the picture perfect. There were two men, a woman, a child, and the priest. They were all marked with the V-shaped Vishnu mark. The priest twined the sacred Kusa grass round the fingers of his right hand, and gave each a handful of grass, and they did as he had done. Then they strewed the grass on the sand, to purify it from taint of earth, and then they began. The priest chanted names of God, then stopped, and drew signs on the sand. They followed him exactly. Then they bathed, bowing to the East between each dip, and worshipping; then returned and repeated it all. But before repeating it, they carefully painted the marks on their foreheads, using white and red pigment, and consulting a small English hand mirror—the one incongruous bit of West in this East, but symbolical of the times. The child followed it all, as a child will, in its pretty way. She was a dainty little thing in a crimson seeley and many gold jewels. The elder woman was dressed in dark green; the colouring was a joy to the eye, crimson and green, and the brown of the rock, against the blue of the sea.[270]
A small group of five sat between the rocks and the sea, adding life to the scene and creating a perfect picture. There were two men, a woman, a child, and the priest. They all had the V-shaped Vishnu mark on their foreheads. The priest wrapped sacred Kusa grass around the fingers of his right hand and handed each person a handful of grass, and they did the same. Then they scattered the grass on the sand to purify it from earthly impurities, and they began their ritual. The priest chanted the names of God, then paused and drew symbols in the sand. They followed his lead precisely. Next, they bathed, bowing to the east between each dip and worshipping, then returned to repeat the process. Before doing so, they carefully painted marks on their foreheads using white and red pigments, checking their reflections in a small English hand mirror—the one odd touch of the West in this Eastern setting, but symbolic of the times. The child watched everything with innocent curiosity, as children do, looking lovely in her crimson dress and gold jewelry. The older woman wore a dark green outfit; the colors were pleasing to the eye: crimson and green against the brown of the rocks and the blue of the sea.[270]
It was one of those exquisite mornings we often have in the Tropics, when everything everywhere shows you God; shines the word out like a word illumined; sings it out in the Universe Song; and here in this South niche of Nature's cathedral, under the sky's transparency, these five, in the only way they knew, acknowledged the Presence of one great God, and worshipped Him. There was nothing revolting here, no hint of repulsive idolatry. They worshipped the Unseen. Very stately the Sanscrit sounded in which they chanted their adoration. "King of Immensity! King of Eternity! Boundless, Endless, Infinite One!" It might have been the echo of some ancient Christian hymn. It might have been, but it was not.
It was one of those beautiful mornings we often experience in the Tropics, when everything around you reveals the divine; it shines like a lit word; it sings it out in the Universe's song; and here in this southern part of Nature's cathedral, under the clear sky, these five, in the only way they knew how, recognized the Presence of one great God and worshipped Him. There was nothing off-putting here, no hint of disturbing idolatry. They worshipped the Unseen. The Sanskrit they chanted in their reverence sounded very dignified. "King of Immensity! King of Eternity! Boundless, Endless, Infinite One!" It could have been the echo of some ancient Christian hymn. It could have been, but it wasn't.
They are not worshipping God the Lord. They might be, but they are not. Whose is the responsibility? Is it partly yours and mine? The beauty of the scene has passed from us; the blue of the blue sky is blotted out—
They aren't worshipping God, the Lord. They could be, but they're not. Whose responsibility is it? Is it partly yours and mine? The beauty of the scene has faded away; the blue of the blue sky is obscured—
Bound to those who should conquer, slaves who should be kings;
Hearing their only hope with a blank sense of awe,
Sadly satisfied with a facade of appearances.
Then, all of a sudden, the unbearable craving
Shivers run through me like a trumpet call:
Oh, to save these! To sacrifice for their preservation,
"Die for their life, be sacrificed for all of them!"
The picture is made of souls—souls to be saved. "Oh to save these! To perish for their saving!" That is what the picture says. Picture! There is no picture. In the place where it was, there is simply a pain—God's world, and God dishonoured in it! Oh to see these[271] people as souls! Refined or vulgar, beautiful or horrible, or just dull, oh to see them "only as souls," and to yearn over them, and pray for them as souls who must live eternally somewhere, and for whom each of us, in our measure, is responsible to God. Do you say we are not responsible for those particular souls? Who said that sort of thing first? "Where we disavow being keeper to our brother we're his Cain." If we are not responsible, why do we take the responsibility of appealing to them in impassioned poetry?
The image is made up of souls—souls that need saving. "Oh, to save these! To perish for their saving!" That’s what the image conveys. Image! There is no image. Instead of it, there’s just pain—God's world, and God dishonored in it! Oh, to see these[271] people as souls! Refined or crude, beautiful or ugly, or just plain dull, oh, to see them "only as souls," and to care for them, and pray for them as souls who must live eternally somewhere, and for whom each of us, in our own way, is accountable to God. Do you say we aren’t responsible for those specific souls? Who first said that? "When we deny being our brother's keeper, we're his Cain." If we aren’t responsible, then why do we feel the need to appeal to them in passionate poetry?
On this planet,
Give Him all the glory,
"And make Him Lord of everything!"
But singing hymns from a distance will never save souls. By God's grace, coming and giving and praying will. Are we prepared for this? Or would we rather[272] sing? Searcher of hearts, turn Thy search-light upon us! Are we coming, giving, praying till it hurts? Are we praying, yea agonising in prayer? or is prayer but "a pleasant exercise"—a holy relief for our feelings?
But singing hymns from afar will never save souls. By God's grace, coming together, giving, and praying will. Are we ready for this? Or would we prefer to just sing? Searcher of hearts, shine Your light on us! Are we coming, giving, praying until it hurts? Are we praying, even agonizing in prayer? Or is prayer just "a nice activity"—a spiritual relief for our emotions?
We have sat together under the wall by the Southern sea. We have looked at the five as they worshipped Another, and not our God. Now let this little South window be like a little clear pane of glass, through which you may look up far to the North, over the border countries and the mountains to Tibet, over Tibet and away through the vastness of Central Asia, on to China, Mongolia, Manchuria; and even then you have only seen a few of the great dark Northern lands, which wait and wait—for you.
We’ve sat together by the southern sea next to the wall. We’ve watched the five as they worshipped someone else, not our God. Now, let this small south window be like a clear piece of glass, allowing you to see far to the north, beyond the border countries and the mountains to Tibet, over Tibet, and into the vastness of Central Asia, all the way to China, Mongolia, Manchuria; and even then, you've only glimpsed a few of the great dark northern lands that are waiting for you.
And this is only Asia, only a part of Asia. God looks down on all the world; and for every one of the millions who have never crowned Him King, Christ wore the crown of thorns. What do we count these millions worth? Do we count them worth the rearrangement of our day, that we may have more time to pray? Do we count them worth the laying down of a single ambition, the loosening of our hold on a single child or friend? Do we count them worth the yielding up of anything we care for very much? Let us be still for a moment and think. Christ counted souls worth Calvary. What do we count them worth?
And this is just Asia, just a part of Asia. God sees everything in the world; and for every one of the millions who have never recognized Him as King, Christ wore the crown of thorns. How much do we value these millions? Do we think they are worth changing our daily routines to make more time for prayer? Do we believe they are worth giving up a single ambition or loosening our grip on any child or friend? Do we see them as worth sacrificing anything we truly care about? Let’s take a moment to reflect. Christ valued souls enough to endure Calvary. What do we value them at?
CHAPTER XXX
Two Safe
"God has given me the hunger and thirst for souls; will He leave me unsatisfied? No verily."
"God has given me the hunger and thirst for souls; will He leave me unfulfilled? No, absolutely not."
"That one soul has been brought to Christ in the midst of such hostile influences is so entirely and marvellously the Holy Spirit's work, that I am sometimes overjoyed to have been in any degree instrumental in effecting the emancipation of one."
"That one person has found their way to Christ despite such negative influences is truly and wonderfully the work of the Holy Spirit, and I often feel overjoyed to have played any role in helping free someone."
The call to leave his home for Christ came to him in an open-air meeting held in his village two years ago. Then there was bitterest shame to endure. His father and mother, aghast and distressed, did all they could to prevent the disgrace incurred by his open confession of Christ. He was an only son, heir to considerable[274] property, so the matter was most serious. The father loved him dearly; but he nerved himself to flog the boy, and twice he was tied up and flogged. But they say he never wavered; only his mother's tears he found hardest to withstand.
The call to leave his home for Christ came to him at an open-air meeting in his village two years ago. Back then, he had to endure the deepest shame. His parents, shocked and upset, did everything they could to stop him from the disgrace of openly confessing Christ. He was their only son, heir to a considerable[274] fortune, so it was a serious matter. His father loved him dearly; yet he steeled himself to punish the boy, and twice he was tied up and whipped. But they say he never wavered; the only thing he found hardest to deal with was his mother’s tears.
Weeks passed of steadfast confession, and then it came to the place of choice between Christ and home. He chose Christ, and early one morning left all to follow Him. Do you think it was easy? He was a loving boy. Could it have been easy to stab his mother's heart?
Weeks went by with constant confession, and then it reached the moment of deciding between Christ and home. He chose Christ and early one morning left everything behind to follow Him. Do you think that was easy? He was a loving boy. Could it have been easy to break his mother's heart?
When the household woke that morning he was on his way to us. The father gathered his clansmen, and they came in a crowd to the bungalow.
When the household woke up that morning, he was on his way to us. The father gathered his relatives, and they came in a crowd to the bungalow.
They sat on the floor in a circle, with the boy in their midst, and they pleaded. I remember the throb of that moment now. A single pulse seemed to beat in the room, so tense was the tension, until he spoke out bravely. "I will not go back," he said.
They sat on the floor in a circle, with the boy in the middle, and they pleaded. I remember the intensity of that moment now. A single heartbeat seemed to echo in the room, so strong was the tension, until he spoke up courageously. "I won't go back," he said.
They promised everything—a house, lands, his inheritance to be given at once, a wife "with a rich dowry of jewels"—all a Tamil boy most desires they offered him. And they promised him freedom to worship God; "only come back and save your Caste, and do not break your mother's heart and disgrace your family."
They promised him everything—a house, land, and his inheritance all at once, a wife "with a rich dowry of jewels"—everything a Tamil boy usually wants. And they promised him the freedom to worship God; "just come back and save your caste, and don't break your mother's heart or shame your family."
Day after day they came, sometimes singly, sometimes in groups, but the mother never came. They described her in heart-moving language. She neither ate nor slept, they said, but sat with her hair undone, and wept and wailed the death-wail for her son.
Day after day, they came, sometimes alone, sometimes in groups, but the mother never showed up. They spoke about her in a way that tugged at the heartstrings. They said she neither ate nor slept, but sat with her hair down, crying and mourning for her son.
At last they gave up coming, and we were relieved,[275] for the long-continued strain was severe; and though he never wavered, we knew the boy felt it. We used to hear him praying for his people, pouring out his heart when he thought no one was near, sobbing sometimes as he named their names. The entreaty in the tone would make our eyes wet. If only he could have lived at home and been a Christian there! But we knew what had happened to others, and we dare not send him back.
At last, they stopped coming, and we felt a sense of relief,[275] as the prolonged stress had been tough on us. Even though he never showed it, we knew the boy was feeling it too. We would hear him praying for his family, sharing his feelings when he thought no one was around, sometimes sobbing as he mentioned their names. The desperation in his voice would bring tears to our eyes. If only he could have stayed home and practiced his faith there! But we knew what had happened to others, and we couldn't risk sending him back.
Then a year or so afterward we all went to the water together, and he and three others were baptised. The first to go down into the water was the elder boy, Shining of Victory. Shining of Life was second. A few weeks of bright life—those happy days by the sea—and then in the same order, and called by the same messenger—the swift Indian messenger, cholera—they both went down into the other water, and crossed over to the other side.
Then about a year later, we all went to the water together, and he and three others were baptized. The first to go under the water was the older boy, Shining of Victory. Shining of Life was next. A few weeks of bright times—those joyful days by the sea—and then in the same sequence, and called by the same messenger—the fast Indian messenger, cholera—they both went down into the other water and crossed over to the other side.
Shining of Life was well in the morning, dead in the evening. When first the pain seized him he was startled. Then, understanding, he lay down in peace. The heathen crowded in. They could not be kept out. They taunted him as he lay. "This is your reward for breaking your Caste!" they said. The agony of cholera was on him. He could not say much, but he pointed up, "Do not trouble me; this is the way by which I am going to Jesus," and he tried to sing a line from one of our choruses, "My Strength and my Redeemer, my Refuge—Jesus!"
Shining of Life was bright in the morning and gone by evening. When the pain hit him, he was taken aback. Then, realizing what was happening, he lay down in peace. The outsiders pushed in. They couldn't be kept away. They mocked him as he lay there. "This is your punishment for breaking your Caste!" they said. The pain of cholera gripped him. He couldn't say much, but he pointed upward, "Don't bother me; this is the way I'm going to Jesus," and he tried to sing a line from one of our songs, "My Strength and my Redeemer, my Refuge—Jesus!"
His parents had been sent for as soon as it was known that he was ill. They hurried over, the poor despairing mother crying aloud imploringly to the gods who did[276] not hear. He pointed up again; he was almost past speech then, but he tried to say "Jesus" and "Come."
His parents were called as soon as they found out he was sick. They rushed over, with the heartbroken mother crying out desperately to the gods who didn’t respond. He pointed up again; he was barely able to speak by then, but he tried to say "Jesus" and "Come."
Then, while the heathen stood and mocked, and the mother beat her breast and wailed, and the father, silent in his grief, just stood and looked at his son, the boy passed quietly away. They hardly believed him dead.
Then, while the onlookers mocked, and the mother beat her chest and cried, and the father, silent in his sorrow, just stood and looked at his son, the boy passed away quietly. They could hardly believe he was dead.
Oh, we miss him so much! And our hearts ache for his people, for they mourn as those who have no hope. But God knows why He took him; we know it is all right.
Oh, we miss him so much! Our hearts break for his people, as they mourn like those who have no hope. But God knows why He took him; we trust that it’s all okay.
Every memory of him is good. When the first sharp strain was over we found what a thorough boy he was, and in that week by the sea all the life and fun in him came out, and he revelled in the bathing and boating, and threw his whole heart into the holiday. We had many hopes for him; he was so full of promise and the energy of life.
Every memory of him is positive. When the initial intense stress passed, we discovered what a genuine person he was, and during that week by the sea, all his vitality and fun emerged. He enjoyed swimming and boating and fully embraced the holiday spirit. We had high hopes for him; he was bursting with potential and the excitement of life.
And now it is all over for both. Was it worth the pain it cost? Such a short time to witness, was it worth while?
And now it's all over for both of them. Was it worth the pain it caused? Such a brief moment to experience, was it worth it?
It is true it was very short. Most of the little space between their coming and their going was filled with preparation for a future of service here. And yet in that little time each of the two found one other boy who, perhaps, would never have been found if the cost had been counted too great. And I think, if you could ask them now, they would tell you Jesus' welcome made it far more than worth while.
It’s true that it was very brief. Most of the limited time between their arrival and departure was filled with getting ready for a future of service here. Yet, in that short time, each of the two found another boy who, perhaps, would never have been discovered if the cost had seemed too high. And I believe, if you could ask them now, they would say that Jesus’ welcome made it all worthwhile.
CHAPTER XXXI
Three Objections
"May I have grace to live above every human motive; simply with God and to God, and not swayed, especially in missionary work, by the opinions of people not acquainted with the state of things, whose judgment may be contrary to my own."
"May I have the strength to rise above all human motives; simply with God and for God, and not be influenced, especially in missionary work, by the opinions of those who are unaware of the situation, whose judgments may differ from my own."
Then, as to the people themselves, there are certain fallacies which die hard. We read, the other day, in a[278] home paper, that it was a well-known fact that "Indian women never smile." We were surprised to hear it. We had not noticed it. Perhaps, if they were one and all so abnormally depressed, we should find them less unwilling to welcome the Glad Tidings. Again, we read that you can distinguish between heathen and Christian by the wonderful light on the Christians' faces, as compared with "the sad expression on the faces of the poor benighted heathen." It is true that some Christians are really illuminated, but, as a whole, the heathen are so remarkably cheerful that the difference is not so defined as one might think. Then, again, we read in descriptive articles on India that the weary, hopeless longing of the people is most touching. But we find that our chief difficulty is to get them to believe that there is anything to long for. Rather we would describe them as those who think they have need of nothing, knowing not that they have need of everything. And again and again we read thrilling descriptions of India's women standing with their hands stretched out towards God. They may do this in visions; in reality they do not. And it is the utter absence of all this sort of thing which makes your help a necessity to us.
Then, regarding the people themselves, there are certain misconceptions that are hard to shake off. We recently read in a[278] local paper that it’s a well-known fact that "Indian women never smile." We were surprised to hear that. We hadn’t noticed it. Maybe if they were all so unusually depressed, they would be less reluctant to embrace the Good News. We also read that you can tell the difference between heathens and Christians by the bright light on the Christians' faces, compared to "the sad expression on the faces of the poor lost heathens." It’s true that some Christians are genuinely radiant, but overall, the heathens are so remarkably cheerful that the difference isn’t as clear-cut as one might think. Furthermore, we see in articles about India that the weary, hopeless longing of the people is very moving. However, we find that our main challenge is getting them to believe there’s anything to long for. Instead, we would describe them as people who think they need nothing, not realizing that they need everything. And again, we repeatedly read dramatic descriptions of India’s women standing with their hands outstretched towards God. They might do this in visions; in reality, they don’t. It’s the complete lack of all this that makes your help so essential to us.
But none of you can pray in the way we want you to pray, unless the mind is convinced that the thing concerning which such prayer is asked is wholly just and right; and it seems to us that many of those who have followed the Story of this War may have doubts about the right of it—the right, for example, of converts leaving their homes for Christ's sake and His Gospel's. All will be in sympathy with us when we try to save[279] little children, but perhaps some are out of sympathy when we do what results in sorrow and misunderstanding—"not peace, but a sword." So we purpose now to gather up into three, some of the many objections which are often urged upon those engaged in this sort of work, because we feel that they ought to be faced and answered if possible, lest we lose someone's prevailing prayer.
But none of you can pray in the way we want you to pray unless your mind believes that what we’re asking for is completely just and right. It seems to us that many people who have followed the Story of this War might have doubts about its righteousness—like the right of converts to leave their homes for Christ’s sake and His Gospel. While everyone will support us when we try to save[279] little children, perhaps some lose their support when our actions lead to sorrow and misunderstanding—“not peace, but a sword.” So, we plan to gather up three of the many objections that are often directed at those involved in this kind of work because we believe they should be confronted and answered if possible, so we don’t lose someone’s ongoing prayers.
The first set of objections may be condensed into a question as to the right or otherwise of our "forcing our religion" upon those who do not want it. We are reminded that the work is most discouraging, conversions are rare, and when they occur they seem to create the greatest confusion. It is evident enough that neither we nor our Gospel are desired; and no wonder, when the conditions of discipleship involve so much. "We should not like strangers to come and interfere with our religion," write the friends who object, "and draw our children away from us; we should greatly resent it. No wonder the Hindus do!" And one reader of the letters wrote that she wondered how the girls who came out ever could be happy for a moment after having done such a wrong and heartless thing as to disobey their parents. "They richly deserve all they suffer," she wrote. "It is a perfect shame and disgrace for a girl to desert her own people!"
The first set of objections can be summed up in a question about the rightness or wrongness of "forcing our religion" on those who don’t want it. We’re reminded that the work is really discouraging, conversions are rare, and when they do happen, they often cause a lot of confusion. It’s clear that neither we nor our Gospel are welcomed, and it’s no surprise, given the heavy demands of being a disciple. "We wouldn't like strangers to come and interfere with our religion," wrote the friends who object, "and pull our children away from us; we would be really upset about it. No wonder the Hindus feel the same way!" One reader of the letters expressed her concern about how the girls who left could ever be happy after doing something so wrong and heartless as disobeying their parents. "They fully deserve everything they go through," she wrote. "It's a complete shame and disgrace for a girl to abandon her own people!"
One turns from the reading of the letter, and looks at the faces of those who have done it; and knowing how they need every bit of prayer-help one can win for them, one feels it will be worth while trying to show those who blame them why they do it, and how it is[280] they cannot do otherwise if they would be true to Christ.
One puts down the letter and looks at the faces of those responsible for it; understanding how much they need every bit of prayer support they can get, it feels worthwhile to try to explain to those who criticize them why they do it and how they can't do anything different if they want to be true to Christ.
This objection as to the right or wrong of the work as a whole, leads to another relating to baptism. It is a serious thing to think of families divided upon questions of religion; surely it would be better that a convert should live a consistent Christian life at home, even without baptism, than that she should break up the peace of the household by leaving her home altogether? Or, having been baptised, should she not return home and live there as a Christian?
This objection about whether the work is right or wrong overall leads to another issue regarding baptism. It’s a serious matter to consider families split over religious questions; surely it would be better for a convert to live a consistent Christian life at home, even without baptism, than to disrupt the family peace by leaving completely? Or, after being baptized, shouldn’t she return home and live there as a Christian?
Lastly—and this comes in letters from those who, more than any, are in sympathy with us—why not devote our energies to work of a more fruitful character? We are reminded of the mass-movement type of work, in which "nations are born in a day"; and often, too, of the nominal Christians who sorely need more enlightenment. Why not work along the line of least resistance, where conversion to God does not of necessity mean fire and sword, and where in a week we could win more souls than in years of this unresultful work?
Lastly—and this comes from those who are, more than anyone, supportive of us—why not focus our efforts on work that brings better results? We are reminded of the mass-movement kind of work, where "nations are born in a day"; and we also think of the nominal Christians who desperately need more understanding. Why not work where it’s easier, where converting to God doesn’t have to involve violence, and where in a week we could reach more people than we could in years of this unproductive work?
We frankly admit that these objections and proposals are naturally reasonable, and that what they state is perfectly true. It is true that work among high-caste Hindus all over India (as among Moslems all over the world) is very difficult. It is true that open confession of Christ creates disastrous division in families. It is true there is other work to be done.
We openly acknowledge that these concerns and suggestions are completely valid, and what they say is absolutely true. It is true that working with high-caste Hindus all across India (just like with Muslims globally) is very challenging. It is true that publicly admitting faith in Christ causes serious rifts within families. It is true that there are other tasks that need attention.
Especially we feel the force of the second objection raised. We fully recognise that the right thing is for the convert to live among her own people, and let her[281] light shine in her own home; and we deplore the terrible wrench involved in what is known as "coming out." To a people so tenacious of custom as the Indians are, to a nature so affectionate as the Indian nature is, this cutting across of all home ties is a very cruel thing.
We particularly feel the impact of the second objection raised. We completely understand that the right approach is for the convert to live among her own people and let her[281] light shine in her own home; and we regret the terrible upheaval involved in what is known as "coming out." For a people as attached to tradition as the Indians are, and with a nature as warm and loving as the Indian nature is, this disruption of all home ties is a very harsh thing.
And now, only that we may not miss your prayer, we set ourselves to try to answer you. And, first of all, let us grasp this fact: it is not fair, nor is it wise, to compare work, and success in work, between one set of people and another, because the conditions under which that work is carried on are different, and the unseen forces brought to bear against it differ in character and in power. There is sometimes more "result" written down in a single column of a religious weekly than is to be found in the 646 pages of one of the noblest missionary books of modern days, On the Threshold of Central Africa. Or take two typical opposite lives, Moody's and Gilmour's. Moody saw more soul-winning in a day than Gilmour in his twenty-one years. It was not that the men differed. Both knew the Baptism of Power, both lived in Christ and loved. But these are extremes in comparison; take two, both missionaries, twin brothers in spirit, Brainerd of North America and Henry Martyn of India. Brainerd saw many coming to Jesus; Martyn hardly one. Each was a pioneer missionary, each was a flame of fire. "Now let me burn out for God," wrote Henry Martyn, and he did it. But the conditions under which each worked varied as widely spiritually as they varied climatically. Can we compare their work, or measure it by its visible results? Did God? Let us leave off comparing this with that—we[282] do not know enough to compare. Let us leave off weighing eternal things and balancing souls in earthly scales. Only God's scales are sufficiently sensitive for such delicate work as that.
And now, so we don’t miss your prayer, we’re going to try to respond to you. First of all, let’s recognize this fact: it’s neither fair nor wise to compare work, and success in work, between different groups of people because the conditions under which they work are different, and the unseen forces they face vary in nature and intensity. Sometimes, there’s more “result” noted in a single column of a religious weekly than in the 646 pages of one of the greatest missionary books of modern times, On the Threshold of Central Africa. Or consider two very different lives, Moody’s and Gilmour’s. Moody saw more soul-winning in a day than Gilmour did in his twenty-one years. It wasn’t that the men were different. Both experienced the Baptism of Power, both lived in Christ and loved. But these are extremes in comparison; take two missionaries who were much alike in spirit, Brainerd from North America and Henry Martyn from India. Brainerd witnessed many coming to Jesus, while Martyn hardly saw one. Each was a pioneering missionary, each was a passionate servant. “Now let me burn out for God,” wrote Henry Martyn, and he did. But the conditions under which each worked varied greatly, both spiritually and climatically. Can we compare their work, or measure it by its visible results? Did God? Let’s stop comparing this with that—we don’t know enough to make those comparisons. Let’s stop weighing eternal matters and judging souls with earthly measures. Only God’s measures are sensitive enough for such delicate work.
We take up the objections one by one. First, "Why do you go where you are not wanted?"
We address the objections one by one. First, "Why do you go where you're not wanted?"
We go because we believe our Master told us to go. He said, "all the world," and "every creature." Our marching orders are very familiar. "Go ye into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature." "All the world" means everywhere in it, "every creature" means everyone in it. These orders are so explicit that there is no room to question what they mean.
We go because we believe our Master instructed us to go. He said, "all the world," and "every creature." Our marching orders are well-known. "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature." "All the world" means everywhere, and "every creature" means everyone. These orders are so clear that there’s no room to doubt what they mean.
All missionaries in all ages have so understood these words "all" and "every." Nearly seven hundred years ago the first missionary to the Moslems found no welcome, only a prison; but he never doubted he was sent to them. "God wills it," he said, and went again. They stoned him then, and he died—died, but never doubted he was sent.
All missionaries throughout history have understood these words "all" and "every." Almost seven hundred years ago, the first missionary to the Muslims received no welcome, only imprisonment; yet he never doubted that he was meant to reach them. "God wills it," he said, and he went again. They stoned him then, and he died—died, but never questioning that he was sent.
Our Master Himself went not only to the common people, who heard Him gladly, but to the priestly and political classes, who had no desire for the truth. "Ye will not come to Me that ye might have life," He said, and yet He gave them the chance to come by going to them. The words, "If any man thirst, let him come unto Me and drink," were spoken to an audience which was not thirsting for the Gospel.
Our Master Himself went not only to the everyday people, who welcomed Him, but also to the religious and political leaders, who weren't interested in the truth. "You won’t come to Me so that you can have life," He said, and even so, He gave them the opportunity to come by reaching out to them. The words, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink," were directed at an audience that wasn't even thirsty for the Gospel.
St. Paul would willingly have spent his strength preaching the Word in Asia, especially in Galatia, where the people loved him well; but he was under orders, and[283] he went to Europe, to Philippi, where he was put in prison; to Thessalonica, where the opposition was so strong that he had to flee away by night; to Athens, where he was the butt of the philosophers. But God gave souls in each of these places; only a few in comparison to the great indifferent crowd, but he would tell you those few were worth going for. You would not have had him miss a Lydia, a Damaris? Above all, you would not have had him disobey his Lord's command?
St. Paul would have gladly spent his energy preaching the Word in Asia, especially in Galatia, where the people really cared for him; but he had orders, and[283] he traveled to Europe, to Philippi, where he was imprisoned; to Thessalonica, where the opposition was so intense that he had to escape at night; to Athens, where he became the target of the philosophers. But God saved souls in each of these places; only a few compared to the large indifferent crowd, but he would tell you those few were worth it. Would you have wanted him to miss a Lydia or a Damaris? Above all, would you have wanted him to disobey his Lord's command?
So whether our message is welcomed or not, the fact remains we must go to all; and the worse they are and the harder they are, the more evident is it that, wanted or not, it is needed by them.
So whether our message is welcomed or not, the fact remains we must reach out to everyone; and the worse they are and the harder they seem, the more clear it is that, whether they want it or not, it is needed by them.
M. Coillard was robbed by the people he had travelled far to find. "You see we made no mistake," he writes, "in bringing the Gospel to the Zambesi."
M. Coillard was robbed by the very people he had traveled so far to meet. "You see we made no mistake," he writes, "in bringing the Gospel to the Zambesi."
The second objection is, "Why break up families by insisting on baptism as a sine quâ non of discipleship?"
The second objection is, "Why break up families by insisting on baptism as a necessity of discipleship?"
And again we answer, Because we believe our Master tells us to. He said, "Baptising them in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost." What right have we, His servants, to stop short of full obedience? Did He not know the conditions of high-caste Hindu life in India when He gave this command? Was He ignorant of the breaking up of families which obedience to it would involve? "Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you nay, but rather division." And then come words which we have seen lived out literally in the case of every high-caste convert who has come. "For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two,[284] and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law." These are truly awful verses; no one knows better than the missionary how awful they are. There are times when we can hardly bear the pain caused by the sight of this division. But are we more tender than the Tender One? Is our sympathy truer than His? Can we look up into His eyes and say, "It costs them too much, Lord; it costs us too much, to fully obey Thee in this"?
And once again, we respond, Because we believe our Master tells us to. He said, "Baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." What right do we, as His servants, have to hold back from complete obedience? Didn’t He know the realities of high-caste Hindu life in India when He gave this command? Was He unaware of the family disruptions that obedience to it would cause? "Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, but rather division." And then come the words we have seen played out literally in the case of every high-caste convert who has come. "From now on, there will be five in one house divided, three against two,[284] and two against three. The father will be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law." These are truly terrible verses; no one knows better than the missionary how terrible they are. There are times when we can hardly bear the pain caused by witnessing this division. But are we more compassionate than the Compassionate One? Is our sympathy more genuine than His? Can we look up into His eyes and say, "It costs them too much, Lord; it costs us too much to fully obey You in this"?
But granted the command holds, why should not the baptised convert return home and live there? Because he is not wanted there, as a Christian. Exceptions to this rule are rare (we are speaking of Caste Hindus), and can usually be explained by some extenuating circumstance.
But if the command stands, why can't the baptized convert go back home and live there? Because he is not wanted there, as a Christian. Exceptions to this rule are uncommon (we're talking about Caste Hindus) and can usually be explained by some special circumstance.
The high-caste woman who said to us, "I cannot live here and break my Caste; if I break it I must go," spoke the truth. Keeping Caste includes within itself the observance of certain customs which by their very nature are idolatrous. Breaking Caste means breaking through these customs; and one who habitually disregarded and disobeyed rules, considered binding and authoritative by all the rest of the household, would not be tolerated in an orthodox Hindu home. It is not a question of persecution or death, or of wanting or not wanting to be there; it is a question of not being wanted there, unless, indeed, she will compromise. Compromise[285] is the one open door back into the old home, and God only knows what it costs when the choice is made and that one door is shut.
The high-caste woman who told us, "I can't stay here and break my caste; if I break it, I have to leave," spoke the truth. Maintaining caste involves following certain customs that, by their very nature, are idolatrous. Breaking caste means breaking these customs; and someone who consistently ignores and disobeys rules considered binding and authoritative by everyone else in the household would not be accepted in an orthodox Hindu home. It’s not about persecution or death, or whether someone wants to be there or not; it's about not being wanted there, unless, of course, she is willing to compromise. Compromise[285] is the only way back into the old home, and only God knows what it costs when that choice is made and that one door is closed.
This ever-recurring reiteration of the power and the bondage of Caste may seem almost wearisome, but the word, and what lies behind it, is the one great answer to a thousand questions, and so it comes again and again. In Southern India especially, and still more so in this little fraction of it, and in the adjoining kingdoms of Travancore and Cochin, Caste feeling is so strong that sometimes it is said that Caste is the religion of South India. But everywhere all over India it is, to every orthodox Hindu, part of his very self. Get his Caste out of him? Can you? You would have to drain him of his life-blood first.
This constant repetition of the power and constraints of Caste might seem a bit exhausting, but the concept and what it represents is the crucial answer to countless questions, which is why it keeps coming up. In Southern India, and even more so in this small part of it, as well as the neighboring kingdoms of Travancore and Cochin, the sense of Caste is so strong that some say Caste is the religion of South India. But all across India, for every traditional Hindu, it is a fundamental part of their identity. Can you remove Caste from someone? Not without taking away their very essence first.
It is the strength of this Caste spirit which in South India causes it to take the form of a determination to get the convert back. Promises are given that they may live as Christians at home. "We will send you in a bandy to church every Sunday!"—promises given to be broken. If the convert is a boy, he may possibly reappear. If a girl—I was going to say never; but I remember hearing of one who did reappear, after seventeen years imprisonment—a wreck. Send them back, do you say? Think of the dotted lines in some chapters you have read; ponder the things they cover; then send them back if you can.
It’s the power of this caste mentality in South India that leads to a strong effort to bring back those who convert. They promise that the converts can live as Christians at home. “We’ll send you in a vehicle to church every Sunday!”—promises that get broken. If the convert is a boy, he might come back. If it’s a girl—I was about to say never; but I remember hearing about one who did come back after seventeen years of imprisonment—a shadow of her former self. Send them back, you say? Consider the dotted lines in some chapters you’ve read; reflect on the things they cover; then see if you can send them back.
The third objection divides into two halves. The first half is, "Why do you not go to the Christians?" To which we answer, we do, and for exactly the same reason as that which we have given twice before, because our[286] Master told us to do so. Our marching orders are threefold, one order concerning each form of service touched by the three objections. The third order touches this, "Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you." So we go, and try to teach them the "all things"; and some of them learn them, and go to teach others, and so the message of a full Gospel spreads, and the Bride gets ready for the Bridegroom.
The third objection breaks down into two parts. The first part is, "Why don't you go to the Christians?" To which we respond, we do, and for exactly the same reason we've mentioned before: because our[286] Master instructed us to do so. Our marching orders come in threes, with one directive for each type of service referenced in the three objections. The third directive is about this, "Teaching them to observe all things I have commanded you." So we go out and try to teach them all those "things"; some of them understand and go on to teach others, and thus the message of a complete Gospel spreads, preparing the Bride for the Bridegroom.
The second half of this last objection is, "Why not do easier work? There are so many who are more accessible, why not go to them?" And there does seem to be point in the suggestion that if there are open doors, it might be better to enter into them, rather than keep on knocking at closed ones.
The second half of this last objection is, "Why not do easier work? There are so many who are more accessible, why not go to them?" And there does seem to be a point in the suggestion that if there are open doors, it might be better to walk through them, rather than keep on knocking at closed ones.
We do seek to enter the so-called open doors, but we never find they are so very wide open when it is known that we bring nothing tangible with us. Spiritual things are not considered anything by most. Still, work among such is infinitely easier, and many, comparatively speaking, are doing it.
We do want to walk through what are called open doors, but we often find they aren't as wide open as we hoped when it's clear we have nothing concrete to offer. Most people don't value spiritual things at all. Still, working in that realm is much easier, and relatively speaking, many are engaged in it.
The larger number here are working among the Christians, the next larger number among the Masses, and the fewest always, everywhere, among the Classes, where conversion involves such terrible conflicts with the Evil One, that all that is human in one faints and fails as it confronts the cost of every victory.
The larger number here are working among the Christians, the next larger number among the Masses, and the fewest always, everywhere, among the Classes, where conversion involves such terrible conflicts with the Evil One, that all that is human in one faints and fails as it confronts the cost of every victory.
But real conversion anywhere costs. By conversion we mean something more than reformation; that raises fewer storms. The kind of work, however, which more than any other seems to fascinate friends at home is what is known as the "mass movement," and though we have[287] touched upon it before, perhaps we had better explain more fully what it really is. This movement, or rather the visible result thereof, is often dilated upon most rapturously. I quote from a Winter Visitor: "Christian churches counted by the thousand, their members by the million; whole districts are Christian, entire communities are transformed." And we look at one another, and ask each other, "Where?"
But real change anywhere comes at a cost. By change, we mean more than just making improvements; that causes fewer disruptions. The type of work that seems to captivate people back home the most is what's called the "mass movement." Although we've discussed it before, it might be best to explain in more detail what it actually is. This movement, or rather its visible effects, is often talked about with great enthusiasm. I quote from a Winter Visitor: "Christian churches numbering in the thousands, their members in the millions; entire regions are Christian, whole communities are transformed." Then we look at each other and ask, "Where?"
But to that question certain would answer joyously, "Here!" There are missions in India where the avowed policy is to baptise people "at the outset, not on evidence of what is popularly called conversion. . . . We baptise them 'unto' the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and not because we have reason to believe that they have received the Spirit's baptism,"—we quote a leader in the movement, and he goes on to say, if it is insisted "that we should wait until this change (conversion) is effected before baptising them, we reply that in most cases we would have to wait for a long time, and often see the poor creatures die without the change."
But to that question, some would answer happily, "Here!" There are missions in India where the clear policy is to baptize people "from the start, not based on what is commonly referred to as conversion. . . . We baptize them 'unto' the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and not because we believe they have already received the Spirit's baptism,"—we quote a leader in the movement, who continues to say that if it's insisted "that we should wait until this change (conversion) happens before baptizing them, we respond that in most cases, we would have to wait a long time and often see the unfortunate individuals die without experiencing that change."
Of course every effort is made by revival services and camp meetings to bring these baptised Christians to a true knowledge of Christ, and it is considered that this policy yields more fruit than the other, which puts conversion first and baptism second. It is certainly richer in "results," for among the depressed classes and certain of the middle Castes, among whom alone the scheme can be carried out, there is no doubt that many are found ready to embrace Christianity, as the phrase goes, sometimes genuinely feeling it is the true religion, and desiring to understand it, sometimes for what they can get.[288]
Of course, revival services and camp meetings always try to help these baptized Christians gain a true understanding of Christ. It's believed that this approach is more effective than the one that prioritizes conversion before baptism. It definitely shows more "results," especially among the lower classes and certain middle castes, where this plan can be effectively implemented. There's no doubt that many people are willing to embrace Christianity—sometimes genuinely believing it's the true religion and wanting to learn more, and other times just looking for personal gain.[288]
It must be admitted—for we want to state the case fairly—that a mass movement gives one a splendid chance to preach Christ, and teach His Gospel day by day. And the power in it does lay hold of some; we have earnest men and women working and winning others to-day, fruit of the mass movement of many years ago.
It must be acknowledged—for the sake of fairness—that a mass movement provides an excellent opportunity to share Christ and teach His Gospel every day. The influence of it does resonate with some; we have dedicated men and women actively working and bringing others to faith today, the result of the mass movement from many years ago.
But on the whole, we fear it, and do not encourage it here. The dead weight of heathenism is heavy enough, but when you pile on the top of that the incubus of a dead Christianity—for a nominal thing is dead—then you are terribly weighted down and handicapped, as you try to go forward to break up new ground.
But overall, we’re afraid of it and don’t promote it here. The burden of paganism is already heavy, but when you add the weight of a lifeless Christianity—since a faith that’s just for show is essentially dead—you find yourself really burdened and limited as you try to move forward and explore new areas.
So, though we sympathise with everything that tends towards life and light in India, and rejoice with our brothers who bind sheaves, believing that though all is not genuine corn, some is, yet we feel compelled to give ourselves mainly to work of a character which, by its very nature, can never be popular, and possibly never successful from a statistical point of view, never, till the King comes, Whose Coming is our hope.
So, while we empathize with everything that promotes life and positivity in India, and celebrate with our friends who gather the harvest, believing that even if not everything is truly valuable, some of it is, we still feel the need to dedicate ourselves mainly to work that, by its very nature, may never be popular and might never succeed statistically, not until the King arrives, whose arrival is our hope.
CHAPTER XXXII
"Show me Thy Glory!"
"Yesterday I was called to see a patient, a young woman who had been suffering terribly for three days. It was the saddest case I ever saw in my life. . . . I had to leave her to die. . . . The experience was such a terrible one that, old and accustomed surgeon as I am, I have been quite upset by it ever since. As long as I live the memory of that scene will cling to me."
"Yesterday, I was called to check on a patient, a young woman who had been in severe pain for three days. It was the saddest case I’ve ever seen in my life. I had to leave her to die. The experience was so horrifying that, even as an experienced surgeon, I've been really shaken up by it ever since. I know that memory will stay with me for life."
"If we refuse to be corns of wheat falling into the ground and dying; if we will neither sacrifice prospects nor risk character and property and health, nor, when we are called, relinquish home and break family ties, for Christ's sake and His Gospel, then we shall abide alone."
"If we refuse to be like grains of wheat that fall to the ground and die; if we won't sacrifice our futures or put our character, property, and health at risk, and if we won't give up our homes and break family ties when we are called, all for Christ and His Gospel, then we will remain alone."
"Not mere pity for dead souls, but a passion for the Glory of God, is what we need to hold us on to Victory."
"Not just sympathy for lost souls, but a passion for the Glory of God, is what we need to keep us committed to Victory."
But have we ever stopped and let the awfulness of these statements bear down upon us? Do we take in, that we are talking about immortal souls?
But have we ever paused and allowed the weight of these statements to hit us? Do we realize that we're discussing immortal souls?
We quote someone's computation that every day ninety-six thousand people die without Christ. Have we ever for one hour sat and thought about it? Have we thought of it for half an hour, for a quarter of an hour, for five unbroken minutes? I go further, and I ask you, have you ever sat still for one whole minute and counted by the ticking of your watch, while soul after soul passes out alone into eternity?
We refer to a calculation that says every day ninety-six thousand people die without Christ. Have we ever taken just one hour to really think about it? Have we considered it for half an hour, for fifteen minutes, or even for just five uninterrupted minutes? I’ll go further and ask, have you ever sat still for a full minute and counted the seconds on your watch while soul after soul passes into eternity alone?
. . . I have done it. It is awful. At the lowest computation, sixty-six for whom Christ died have died since I wrote "eternity."
. . . I have done it. It's terrible. By the lowest estimate, sixty-six people for whom Christ died have died since I wrote "eternity."
"Oh my God! my God! Men are perishing, and I take no heed!" . . .
"Oh my God! Men are dying, and I’m not paying attention!" . . .
Sixty-six more have gone. Oh, how can one keep so calm? Death seems racing with the minute hand of my watch. I feel like stopping that terrible run of the minute hand. Round and round it goes, and every time it goes round, sixty-six people die.
Sixty-six more have gone. Oh, how can one stay so calm? Death seems to be racing with the minute hand of my watch. I feel like stopping that terrible run of the minute hand. Round and round it goes, and every time it goes around, sixty-six people die.
I have just heard of the dying of one of the sixty-six. We knew her well. She was a widow; she had no protectors, and an unprotected widow in India stands in a dangerous place. We knew it, and tried to persuade her to take refuge in Jesus. She listened, almost decided, then drew back; afterwards we found out why. You have seen the picture of a man sucked under sea by an octopus; it was like that. You have imagined the death-struggle;[291] it was like that. But it all went on under the surface of the water, there was nothing seen above, till perhaps a bubble rose slowly and broke; it was like that. One day, in the broad noontide, a woman suddenly fell in the street. Someone carried her into a house, but she was dead, and those who saw that body saw the marks of the struggle upon it. The village life flowed on as before; only a few who knew her knew she had murdered her body to cover the murder of her soul. We had come too late for her.
I just heard about the death of one of the sixty-six. We knew her well. She was a widow; she had no one to protect her, and an unprotected widow in India is in a dangerous situation. We knew that and tried to persuade her to take refuge in Jesus. She listened, almost made up her mind, then pulled back; later we found out why. You’ve seen the image of a man pulled under the sea by an octopus; it was like that. You’ve imagined the fight for life; it was like that. But it all happened beneath the surface of the water, nothing visible above, until maybe a bubble slowly rose and popped; it was like that. One day, in the bright midday sun, a woman suddenly collapsed in the street. Someone took her into a house, but she was dead, and those who saw that body noticed the signs of struggle on it. Life in the village continued as usual; only a few who knew her realized she had killed her body to hide the murder of her soul. We had come too late for her.
Last week I stood in a house where another of those sixty-six had passed. Crouching on the floor, with her knees drawn up and her head on her knees, a woman began to tell me about it. "She was my younger sister. My mother gave us to two brothers"—and she stopped. I knew who the brothers were. I had seen them yesterday—two handsome high-caste Hindus. We had visited their wives, little knowing. The woman said no more; she could not. She just shuddered and hid her face in her hands. A neighbour finished the story. Something went wrong with the girl. They called in the barber's wife—the only woman's doctor known in these parts. She did her business ignorantly. The girl died in fearful pain. Hindu women are inured to sickening sights, but this girl's death was so terrible that the elder sister has never recovered from the shock of seeing it. There she sits, they tell me, all day long, crouching on the floor, mute.
Last week, I was in a house where one of those sixty-six had died. Crouching on the floor, her knees pulled up and her head resting on them, a woman started to share the story with me. "She was my younger sister. My mother gave us to two brothers"—and she paused. I recognized who the brothers were. I had seen them the day before—two good-looking high-caste Hindus. We had met their wives, completely unaware. The woman didn’t say anything more; she just shuddered and covered her face with her hands. A neighbor continued the story. Something went wrong with the girl. They called in the barber's wife—the only female doctor known around here. She handled it poorly. The girl suffered greatly and died in awful pain. Hindu women are used to seeing horrific things, but this girl’s death was so shocking that the older sister has never been the same since. They say she sits there all day long, crouching on the floor, silent.
All do not pass like that; some pass very quietly, there are no bands in their death; and some are innocent children—thank God for the comfort of that! But[292] it must never be forgotten that the heathen sin against the light they have; their lives witness against them. They know they sin, and they fear death. An Indian Christian doctor, practising in one of our Hindu towns, told me that he could not speak of what he had seen and heard at the deathbeds of some of his patients.
Not everyone dies in such a dramatic way; some pass away very quietly, without any fanfare, and some are innocent children—thank God for that comfort! But[292] we must never forget that those who do not know the truth still go against the light they have; their lives bear witness against them. They know they're in the wrong, and they fear death. An Indian Christian doctor practicing in one of our Hindu towns told me he couldn’t talk about what he had seen and heard at the deathbeds of some of his patients.
A girl came in a moment ago, and I told her what I was doing. Then I showed her the diagram of the Wedge; the great black disc for heathendom, and the narrow white slit for the converts won. She looked at it amazed. Then she slowly traced her finger round the disc, and she pointed to the narrow slit, and her tears came dropping down on it. "Oh, what must Jesus feel!" she said. "Oh, what must Jesus feel!" She is only a common village girl, she has been a Christian only a year; but it touched her to the quick to see that great black blot.
A girl walked in a moment ago, and I told her what I was working on. Then I showed her the diagram of the Wedge; the large black disc representing the unconverted, and the narrow white slit for the converts we’ve gained. She looked at it in awe. Then she slowly traced her finger around the disc, pointed to the narrow slit, and tears began to fall on it. "Oh, what must Jesus feel!" she said. "Oh, what must Jesus feel!" She’s just an ordinary village girl and has only been a Christian for a year, but seeing that huge black mark deeply moved her.
I know there are those who care at home, but do all who care, care deeply enough? Do they feel as Jesus feels? And if they do, are they giving their own? They are helping to send out others, perhaps; but are they giving their own?
I know there are people at home who care, but do all of them care deeply enough? Do they feel like Jesus does? And if they do, are they giving their own? They might be helping to send others out, but are they truly giving their own?
Oh, are they truly giving themselves? There must be more giving of ourselves if that wedge is to be widened in the disc. Some who care are young, and life is all before them, and the question that presses now is this: Where is that life to be spent? Some are too old to come, but they have those whom they might send, if only they would strip themselves for Jesus' sake.
Oh, are they really giving themselves? There has to be more generosity from us if we want to expand that gap in the disc. Some who care are young, and their whole lives are ahead of them, and the pressing question now is this: Where will that life be lived? Some are too old to come, but they have people they could send if only they would let go for Jesus' sake.
Mothers and fathers, have you sympathy with Jesus? Are you willing to be lonely for a few brief years, that[293] all through eternal ages He may have more over whom to rejoice, and you with Him? He may be coming very soon, and the little interval that remains, holds our last chance certainly to suffer for His sake, and possibly our last to win jewels for His crown. Oh, the unworked jewel-mines of heathendom! Oh, the joy His own are missing if they lose this one last chance!
Moms and dads, do you feel compassion for Jesus? Are you willing to be lonely for a few short years, so that[293] for all of eternity He can have more people to celebrate with, and you can share in that joy? He might be coming very soon, and the little time we have left is definitely our last chance to suffer for His sake and maybe our last opportunity to earn gems for His crown. Oh, the untapped treasure of the lost! Oh, the happiness His followers are missing if they let this final opportunity slip away!
Sometimes we think that if the need were more clearly seen, something more would be done. Means would be devised; two or three like-minded would live together, so as to save expenses, and set a child free who must otherwise stay for the sake of one of the three. Workers abroad can live together, sinking self and its likes and dislikes for the sake of the Cause that stands first. But if such an innovation is impossible at home, something else will be planned, by which more will be spared, when those who love our God love Him well enough to put His interests first. "Worthy is the Lamb to receive!" Oh, we say it, and we pray it! Do we act as if we meant it? Fathers and mothers, is He not worthy? Givers, who have given your All, have you not found Him worthy?
Sometimes we think that if the need were more obvious, more would be done. Solutions would be created; a few like-minded people would live together to save costs and free a child who would otherwise have to stay for one of the three. Workers abroad can live together, putting aside their personal preferences for the sake of the Cause that matters most. But if such an arrangement isn’t possible at home, something else will be organized that allows for more to be contributed when those who love our God love Him enough to prioritize His interests. "Worthy is the Lamb to receive!" Oh, we say it, and we pray it! Do we act as if we mean it? Fathers and mothers, is He not worthy? Givers, who have given your all, have you not found Him worthy?
"Bare figures overwhelmed me," said one, as he told how he had been led to come out; "I was fairly staggered as I read that twenty-eight thousand a day in India alone, go to their death without Christ. And I questioned, Do we believe it? Do we really believe it? What narcotic has Satan injected into our systems that this awful, woeful, tremendous fact does not startle us out of our lethargy, our frightful neglect of human souls?"[294]
"Bare facts hit me hard," said one, as he explained how he was motivated to speak out; "I was genuinely shocked when I read that twenty-eight thousand people in India alone die every day without knowing Christ. And I asked myself, Do we believe this? Do we truly believe it? What kind of numbing agent has Satan injected into our lives that this terrible, heartbreaking reality doesn't jolt us out of our indifference and our shocking neglect of human souls?"[294]
There is a river flowing through this District. It rises in the Western Ghauts, and flows for the greater part of the year a placid, shallow stream. But when the monsoon rains overflow the watersheds, it fills with a sudden, magnificent rush; you can hear it a mile away.
There’s a river running through this District. It starts in the Western Ghauts and for most of the year, it’s a calm, shallow stream. But when the monsoon rains flood the watersheds, it suddenly swells with a magnificent rush; you can hear it from a mile away.
Out in the sandy river bed a number of high stone platforms are built, which are used by travellers as resting-places when the river is low. Some years ago a party of labourers, being belated, decided to sleep on one of these platforms; for though the rainy season was due, the river was very low. But in the night the river rose. It swept them on their hold on the stone. It whirled them down in the dark to the sea.
Out on the sandy riverbed, several high stone platforms have been built, which travelers use as resting spots when the river is low. A few years back, a group of workers, caught out late, decided to sleep on one of these platforms since the river was really low, even though the rainy season was approaching. But during the night, the river rose. It swept them off their grip on the stone. It carried them down into the dark and out to sea.
Suppose that, knowing, as they did not, that the rain had begun to fall on the hills, and the river was sure to fill, you had chanced to pass when those labourers were settling down for the night, would you, could you, have passed on content without an effort to tell them so? Would you, could you have gone to bed and slept in perfect tranquillity while those men and women whom you had seen were out in the river bed?
Suppose that, not knowing that it had started to rain on the hills and the river was about to rise, you happened to walk by just as those laborers were settling down for the night. Would you, could you, have walked on without a thought to warn them? Would you, could you have gone to bed and slept peacefully while those men and women you saw were out in the riverbed?
If you had, the thunder of the river would have wakened you, and for ever your very heart would have been cold with a chill chiller than river water, cold at the thought of those you dared to leave to drown!
If you had, the roar of the river would have woken you, and your heart would always feel colder than the river water, chilled at the thought of those you dared to leave behind to drown!
You cannot see them, you say. You can. God has given eyes to the mind. Think, and you will see. Then listen. It is God Who speaks. "If thou forbear to deliver them that are drawn unto death, and those that are ready to be slain; if thou sayest, 'Behold we knew[295] it not,' doth not He that pondereth the heart consider it, and He that keepeth thy soul, doth not He know it? and shall not He render to every man according to his works?"
You say you can't see them. You can. God has given you the ability to see with your mind. Think, and you'll see. Then listen. It's God speaking. "If you don’t help those who are being taken to their death and those who are ready to die; if you say, 'We didn’t know,' doesn’t He who weighs the heart notice it? And doesn’t He who keeps your soul know it? Won’t He repay everyone according to their actions?"
Oh, by the thought of the many who are drawn unto death, and the many that are ready to be slain, by the thought of the sorrow of Jesus Who loves them, consider these things!
Oh, think of all the people who are drawn to death and those who are about to be killed, think of the sorrow of Jesus who loves them. Reflect on these things!
But all are not called to come! We know it. We do not forget it. But is it a fact so forgotten at home that a missionary need press it? What is forgotten surely is that the field is the world.
But not everyone is called to come! We know this. We don’t forget it. But is it something so overlooked at home that a missionary needs to emphasize it? What seems to be overlooked is that the field is the world.
You would not denude England! Would England be denuded? Would a single seat on the Bishop's bench, or a single parish or mission hall, be left permanently empty, if the man who fills it now moved out to the place which no one fills—that gap on the precipice edge?
You wouldn’t strip England bare! Would England be left bare? Would any spot on the Bishop's bench, or any parish or mission hall, remain permanently vacant if the person currently in that position moved to the place that no one occupies—that empty space at the edge of the cliff?
But suppose it were left empty, would it be so dreadful after all? Would there not be one true Christian left to point the way to Christ? And if the worst came to the worst, would there not still be the Bible, and ability to read? Need anyone die unsaved, unless set upon self-destruction? If only Christians in England knew how to draw supplies direct from God, if only those who cannot come would take up the responsibility of the unconverted around them, why should not a parish here and there be left empty for awhile? Surely we should not deliberately leave so very many to starve to death, because those who have the Bread of Life have a strong desire for sweets. Oh, the spiritual confectionery[296] consumed every year in England! God open our eyes to see if we are doing what He meant, and what He means should continue! But some men are too valuable to be thrown away on the mission field; they are such successful workers, pastors, evangelists, leaders of thought. They could not possibly be spared. Think of the waste of burying brain in unproductive sand! Apparently it is so, but is it really so? Does God view it like that? Where should we have been to-day if He had thought Jesus too valuable to be thrown away upon us? Was not each hour of those thirty-three years worth more than a lifetime of ours?
But what if it were left empty, would that really be so terrible after all? Wouldn’t there still be one true Christian left to guide others to Christ? And if the worst happened, wouldn’t we still have the Bible and the ability to read? Does anyone really have to die without being saved, unless they choose self-destruction? If only Christians in England knew how to draw support directly from God, if only those who cannot attend would take on the responsibility for the unconverted around them, why shouldn’t a parish here and there be left empty for a while? Surely, we shouldn’t just let so many people starve spiritually because those who have the Bread of Life are too focused on their own desires. Oh, the spiritual junk food[296] consumed every year in England! God, help us realize if we are doing what You intended and what You want to keep happening! But some people are too valuable to be wasted on the mission field; they’re such effective workers, pastors, evangelists, and thought leaders. They simply couldn’t be spared. Think of the waste of burying talent in unproductive sand! It seems that way, but is it really? Does God see it that way? Where would we be today if He had thought Jesus was too valuable to be spent on us? Wasn’t each hour of those thirty-three years worth more than a lifetime of ours?
What is God's definition of that golden word "success"? He looks at Roman Catholic Europe, and Roman and heathen South America, and Mohammedan and heathen Africa and Asia, and many a forgotten place in many a great land. And then He looks at us, and I wonder what He thinks. Ragland, Fellow of Corpus Christi College, Cambridge, after years of brain-burying waste, wrote that He was teaching him that "of all plans for securing success the most certain is Christ's own, becoming a corn of wheat, falling into the ground and dying." If coming abroad means that for anyone, is it too much to ask? It was what our dear Lord did.
What is God's definition of that golden word "success"? He looks at Catholic Europe, and Roman and non-Christian South America, as well as Muslim and non-Christian Africa and Asia, and many forgotten places in many great lands. And then He looks at us, and I wonder what He thinks. Ragland, a Fellow of Corpus Christi College, Cambridge, after years of mental struggle, wrote that God was teaching him that "of all plans for securing success the most certain is Christ's own, becoming a corn of wheat, falling into the ground and dying." If coming to this conclusion means that for anyone, is it too much to ask? It was what our dear Lord did.
This brings us to another plea. I find it in the verse that carves out with two strokes the whole result of two lives. "If any man's work abide. . . . If any man's work shall be burned." The net result of one man's work is gold, silver, precious stones; the net result of another man's work is wood, hay, stubble. Which is worth the spending of a life?[297]
This leads us to another request. I see it in the lines that summarize the entire outcome of two lives in just two strokes. "If any man's work lasts... If any man's work is burned." One person's efforts yield gold, silver, and precious stones; another's yield wood, hay, and stubble. Which is worth dedicating a life to? [297]
An earnest worker in her special line of work is looking back at it from the place where things show truest, and she says, "God help us all! What is the good done by any such work as mine? 'If any man build upon this foundation . . . wood, hay, stubble. . . . If any man's work shall be burned he shall suffer loss; but he himself shall be saved, yet so as by fire!' An infinitude of pains and labour, and all to disappear like the stubble and the hay."
An earnest worker in her field looks back from a place where things are most clear, and she says, "God help us all! What good comes from work like mine? 'If anyone builds on this foundation... wood, hay, stubble... If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire!' A lifetime of effort, and all to vanish like the stubble and hay."
Success—what is it worth?
Success—what's it worth?
But pausing just a moment to draw breath,
I could not choose but murmur to myself,
'Is this all? All that's done? and all that's gained?
If this, then, be success, 'tis dismaller
Than any failure.'"
So transparent a thing is the glamour of success to clear-seeing poet-eyes, and should it dazzle the Christian to whom nothing is of any worth but the thing that endures? Should arguments based upon comparisons between the apparent success of work at home as distinguished from work abroad influence us in any way? Is it not very solemn, this calm, clear setting forth of a truth which touches each of us? "Every man's work shall be made manifest, for the Day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire, and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is." And as we realise the perishableness of all work, however apparently successful, except the one work done in the one way God means, oh, does it not stir us up to seek with an intensity of purpose which will not be denied, to find out what that one work is? The same thought comes out in the verse[298] which tells us that the very things we are to do are prepared before, and we are "created in Christ Jesus" to do them. If this is so, then will the doing of anything else seem worth while, when we look back and see life as God sees it?
So obvious is the allure of success to clear-sighted poets, and should it really blind the Christian for whom only what lasts has value? Should comparisons of the apparent success of work done locally versus abroad sway us in any way? Isn’t it quite serious, this calm and clear presentation of a truth that affects each of us? "Every man's work shall be made manifest, for the Day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire, and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is." And as we come to understand the fleeting nature of all work, no matter how successful it seems, except for the one work done in the way God intends, doesn’t it motivate us to pursue with a purpose so intense that we can’t be denied, to discover what that one work is? The same idea is reflected in the verse[298] which tells us that the very tasks we are meant to do are prepared in advance, and we are "created in Christ Jesus" to perform them. If this is true, then will doing anything else really seem worthwhile when we look back and see life as God sees it?
It may be that the things prepared are lying close at our hand at home, but it may be they are abroad. If they are at home there will be settled peace in the doing of them there; but if they are abroad, and we will not come and do them?—Oh, then our very prayers will fall as fall the withered leaves, when the wind that stirred them falls, yea more so, for the withered leaves have a work to do, but the prayers which are stirred up by some passing breeze of emotion do nothing, nothing for eternity. God will not hear our prayers for the heathen if He means us to be out among them instead of at home praying for them, or if He means us to give up some son or daughter, and we prefer to pray.
It could be that the things we need are right here at home, but they might be out there. If they are at home, there will be peace in handling them there; but if they are out there, and we refuse to go and act?—Oh, then our prayers will fall like withered leaves when the wind that blew them away stops, and even more so, because withered leaves have a purpose, but the prayers stirred by a fleeting wave of emotion achieve nothing for eternity. God won’t hear our prayers for those in need if He intends for us to be with them instead of staying home to pray, or if He wants us to sacrifice a son or daughter, and we choose to pray instead.
Lord save us from hypocrisy and sham! "Shrivel the falsehood" from us if we say we love Thee but obey Thee not! Are we staying at home, and praying for missions when Thou hast said to us "Go"? Are we holding back something of which Thou hast said, "Loose it, and let it go"? Lord, are we utterly through and through true? Lord God of truthfulness, save us from sham! Make us perfectly true!
Lord, save us from hypocrisy and deceit! "Remove the falsehood" from us if we say we love You but don’t follow Your ways! Are we staying home and praying for missions when You’ve told us to "Go"? Are we holding on to something You’ve told us to "Release and let go"? Lord, are we completely honest? Lord God of truth, save us from pretense! Make us completely genuine!
I turn to you, brothers and sisters at home! Do you know that if God is calling you, and you refuse to obey you will hardly know how to bear what will happen afterwards? Sooner or later you will know, yea burn through every part of your being, with the knowledge[299] that you disobeyed, and lost your chance, lost it for ever. For that is the awful part. It is rarely given to one to go back and pick up the chance he knowingly dropped. The express of one's life has shot past the points, and one cannot go back; the lines diverge.
I turn to you, family and friends at home! Do you know that if God is calling you and you refuse to listen, you won’t truly understand how to handle what comes next? Sooner or later, you will feel it deep within you, knowing that you disobeyed and missed your chance—forever lost it. That’s the harsh truth. It’s rarely possible to go back and reclaim the opportunity you intentionally let go. The train of your life has passed the stops, and you can’t go back; the paths have split.[299]
"Some of us almost shudder now to think how nearly we stayed at home," a missionary writes. "Do not, I beseech you, let this great matter drift. Do not walk in uncertainty. Do not be turned aside. You will be eternally the poorer if you do."
"Some of us almost cringe now at the thought of how close we were to staying home," a missionary writes. "Please, I urge you, don’t let this important issue slip away. Don’t live in uncertainty. Don’t be distracted. You’ll be missing out for the rest of your life if you do."
It may be you are not clear as to what is God's will for you. You are in doubt, you are honest, but a thousand questions perplex you. Will you go to God about it, and get the answer direct?
It might be that you're unsure about what God's will is for you. You're feeling doubtful and honest, but a thousand questions are confusing you. Will you take it to God and get a direct answer?
If you are puzzled about things which a straightforward missionary can explain, will you buy a copy of Do Not Say, and read it alone with God? Let me emphasise that word "alone." "Arise, go forth into the plain, and I will there talk with thee." "There was a Voice . . . when they stood and had let down their wings."
If you're confused about things that a simple missionary can clarify, will you grab a copy of Do Not Say and read it on your own with God? Let me highlight that word "alone." "Get up, go out into the open, and I will talk to you there." "There was a Voice . . . when they stood and let down their wings."
Oh, by the thought of the Day that is coming, when the fire shall try all we are doing, and only the true shall stand, I plead for an honest facing of the question before it is too late!
Oh, just thinking about the Day that’s coming, when the fire will test everything we’re doing, and only the true will remain, I urge us to honestly confront the question before it’s too late!
But this is not our strongest plea. We could pile them up, plea upon plea, and not exhaust the number which press and urge one to write. We pass them all, and go to the place where the strongest waits: God's Glory is being given to another. This is the most solemn plea, the supreme imperative call. "Not mere[300] pity for dead souls, but a passion for the Glory of God, is what we need to hold us through to victory."
But this isn't our strongest argument. We could stack up one reason after another and still not cover all the reasons that push and motivate one to write. We set those aside and go to the place where the strongest argument lies: God's glory is being given to someone else. This is the most serious plea, the ultimate call to action. "It's not just sympathy for lost souls, but a deep passion for the glory of God that we need to carry us through to victory."
"I am the Lord, that is My Name, and My Glory will I not give to another, neither My praise to graven images." But the men He made to glorify Him take His Glory from Him, give it to another; that, the sin of it, the shame, calls with a low, deep under-call through all the other calls. God's Glory is being given to another. Do we love Him enough to care? Or do we measure our private cost, if these distant souls are to be won, and, finding it considerable, cease to think or care? "Is it nothing to you, all ye that pass by? Behold and see"—"They took Jesus and led Him away. And He, bearing His cross, went forth into a place called the place of a skull . . . where they crucified Him." . . . "Herein is love." . . . "God so loved the world." . . . Have we petrified past feeling? Can we stand and measure now? "I know that only the Spirit, Who counted every drop that fell from the torn brow of Christ as dearer than all the jewelled gates of Paradise, can lift the Church out of her appreciation of the world, the world as it appeals to her own selfish lusts, into an appreciation of the world as it appeals to the heart of God." O Spirit, come and lift us into this love, inspire us by this love. Let us look at the vision of the Glory of our God with eyes that have looked at His love!
"I am the Lord; that is My Name, and I won't give My Glory to anyone else, nor My praise to carved images." But the people He created to honor Him take His Glory away and give it to others; that, the sin of it, the shame, calls out with a low, deep voice beneath all the other calls. God's Glory is being handed over to others. Do we love Him enough to care? Or do we weigh our personal cost when it comes to saving those distant souls, and, realizing it’s too much, stop thinking or caring? "Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by? Look and see"—"They took Jesus and led Him away. And He, carrying His cross, went to a place called the place of a skull...where they crucified Him."... "This is love."... "God so loved the world."... Have we become so hardened that we feel nothing? Can we stand and take stock now? "I know that only the Spirit, Who counted every drop that fell from the torn brow of Christ as more precious than all the jeweled gates of Paradise, can lift the Church from her focus on the world, the world as it appeals to her own selfish desires, into an understanding of the world as it resonates with the heart of God." O Spirit, come and elevate us into this love, inspire us with this love. Let us behold the vision of our God's Glory with eyes that have seen His love!
We would not base a single plea on anything weaker than solid fact. Sentiment will not stand the strain of the real tug of war; but is it fact, or is it not, that Jesus counted you and me, and the other people in the world,[301] actually worth dying for? If it is true, then do we love Him well enough to care with the whole strength of our being, that to-day, almost all over the world, His Glory is being given to another? If this does not move us, is it because we do not love Him very much, or is it that we have never prayed with honest desire, as Moses prayed, "I beseech Thee, show me Thy Glory"? He only saw a little of it. "Behold there is a place by Me, and thou shalt stand upon a rock: and it shall come to pass, while My Glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a clift of the rock, and will cover thee with My hand while I pass by." And the Glory of the Lord passed, and Moses was aware of something of it as it passed, but "My face shall not be seen," And yet that little was enough to mark him out as one who lived for one purpose, shone in the light of it, burned with the fire of it—he was jealous for the Glory of his God.
We wouldn't base any argument on anything less than solid facts. Feelings won’t hold up under real pressure; but is it a fact or not that Jesus considered you, me, and everyone else in the world[301] actually worth dying for? If that’s true, do we love Him enough to care deeply that today, almost everywhere, His Glory is being given to someone else? If this doesn’t move us, is it because we don’t love Him very much, or have we just never prayed with genuine desire, like Moses did when he said, "I beg You, show me Your Glory"? He only saw a small part of it. "Look, there’s a spot near Me where you can stand on a rock: and as My Glory passes by, I will put you in a crack in the rock and cover you with My hand while I pass by." And the Glory of the Lord passed by, and Moses caught a glimpse of it, but “My face must not be seen." Yet that little glimpse was enough to make him someone who lived with purpose, shining in its light, burning with its fire—he was passionate about the Glory of his God.
And we—"We beheld His Glory, the Glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth"; and we—we have seen "the light of the knowledge of the Glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."
And we—“We saw His Glory, the Glory of the one and only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth”; and we—we have seen “the light of the knowledge of the Glory of God displayed in the face of Jesus Christ.”
"While My Glory passeth by I will . . . cover thee . . . My face shall not be seen." "But we all with open face, reflecting, as in a mirror, the Glory of the Lord, are changed"—Are we? Do we? Do we know anything at all about it? Have we ever apprehended this for which we are apprehended of Christ Jesus? Have we seen the Heavenly Vision that breaks us down, and humbles us to hear the Voice of the Lord ask, "Who[302] will go for Us?" and strengthens us to answer, "Here am I, send me," and holds us on to obey if we hear Him saying "Go"?
"While My Glory passes by, I will... cover you... My face shall not be seen." "But we all, with unveiled faces, reflecting like a mirror the Glory of the Lord, are transformed"—Are we? Do we? Do we even know what that means? Have we ever truly understood what we were called to by Christ Jesus? Have we witnessed the Heavenly Vision that breaks us down and humbles us as we hear the Voice of the Lord asking, "Who will go for Us?" and empowers us to respond, "Here am I, send me," and compels us to obey if we hear Him say "Go"?
"I beseech Thee, show me Thy Glory!" Shall we pray it, meaning it now, to the very uttermost? The uttermost may hold hard things, but, easy or hard, there is no other way to reach the place where our lives can receive an impetus which will make them tell for eternity. The motive power is the love of Christ. Not our love for Him only, but His very love itself. It was the mighty, resistless flow of that glorious love that made the first missionary pour himself forth on the sacrifice and service. And the joy of it rings through triumphantly, "Yea, and if I be poured forth . . . I joy and rejoice with you all!"
"I ask You, show me Your Glory!" Should we pray this, meaning it fully now? The fullest meaning might include difficult things, but whether it's easy or hard, there's no other way to reach the place where our lives can gain the energy that will make them count for eternity. The driving force is the love of Christ. Not just our love for Him, but His very love itself. It was the powerful, unstoppable flow of that glorious love that inspired the first missionary to give himself wholeheartedly to sacrifice and service. And the joy of it shines through triumphantly, "Yes, and if I am poured out... I joy and rejoice with you all!"
Yes, God's Glory is our plea, highest, strongest, most impelling and enduring of all pleas. But oh, by the thought of the myriads who are passing, by the thought of the Coming of the Lord, by the infinite realities of life and death, heaven and hell, by our Saviour's cross and Passion, we plead with all those who love Him, but who have not considered these things yet, consider them now!
Yes, God's Glory is our appeal, the highest, strongest, most compelling, and lasting of all appeals. But oh, by the thought of the countless people who are leaving, by the thought of the Lord's return, by the infinite truths of life and death, heaven and hell, by our Savior's cross and suffering, we urge all those who love Him, but who haven't thought about these things yet, to consider them now!
Let Him show us the vision of the Glory, and bring us to the very end of self, let Him touch our lips with the live coal, and set us on fire to burn for Him, yea, burn with consuming love for Him, and a purpose none can turn us from, and a passion like a pure white flame, "a passion for the Glory of God!"
Let Him show us the vision of His Glory and lead us to the complete end of ourselves. Let Him touch our lips with the live coal and ignite a fire within us to burn for Him, yes, to burn with a deep love for Him, a purpose that nothing can distract us from, and a passion like a pure white flame—a passion for the Glory of God!
Oh, may this passion consume us! burn the self out[303] of us, burn the love into us—for God's Glory we ask it, Amen.
Oh, may this passion take over us! Burn the self out[303] of us, burn the love into us—for God's Glory we ask it, Amen.
"Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing . . . Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power be unto Him."
"Worthy is the Lamb who was sacrificed to receive power, wealth, wisdom, strength, honor, glory, and blessings... Blessing, honor, glory, and power be unto Him."
APPENDIX
Some Indian Saints
I remember once seeing the poet and the pastor together.[304] They belonged to widely different castes, but that was forgotten now. The two old white heads were bent over the same letter—a letter telling of the defection of a young convert each had loved as a son, and they were weeping over him. It was the ancient East living its life before us: "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom my son, my son!" But what made it a thing to remember in this land of Caste divisions, even among Christians, was the overflowing of the love that made those two men one.
I remember once seeing the poet and the pastor together.[304] They came from very different backgrounds, but that didn't matter anymore. The two older men, with their white hair, were leaning over the same letter—a letter about a young convert they both cared for like a son, and they were crying for him. It was like the ancient East living out its story before us: "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! I wish I had died for you, O Absalom my son, my son!" But what really stood out in this place divided by caste, even among Christians, was the deep love that united those two men.
There are others. Money, the place it holds in a man's affections, is supposed to be a fair test of character. We could tell of a lawyer who is losing money to-day rather than touch unrighteous gains; of a doctor who gives to his church till he feels, and travels any distance to help the poor who cannot pay; of a peasant who risks a certain amount of injury to his palms rather than climb them on Sunday; and in many an old-world town and village, dotted about on the wide red plain, we have simple, humble, holy people, of whom the world knows nothing—pastors in lonely out-stations, teachers, and workers, and just ordinary Christians—who do the day's work, and shine as they do it. We think of such men and women when we hear the critic's cry, and we wish he could know them as they are.
There are others. The role that money plays in someone’s affections is seen as a true measure of character. We could talk about a lawyer who is losing money today rather than accept ill-gotten gains; a doctor who donates to his church until it hurts and goes out of his way to help those who can’t pay; a farmer who endures some pain in his hands rather than work on Sundays; and in many old towns and villages scattered across the vast red plains, there are simple, humble, devout people who remain unknown to the world—pastors in remote outposts, teachers, and ordinary Christians—who do their daily tasks and shine while doing them. We think of these men and women when we hear a critic’s harsh words, and we wish they could see them for who they truly are.
It is these men and women who ask us to tell it out clearly how sorely our Indian Church needs your prayers. They have no desire to hide things. They speak straighter than we do, and far more strongly, and they believe, as we do, that if you know more you will pray more.
It’s these men and women who urge us to clearly communicate how much our Indian Church needs your prayers. They don’t want to hide anything. They speak more directly than we do and with much more passion, and they believe, as we do, that if you understand more, you’ll pray more.
LONDON: MORGAN AND SCOTT
Transcriber's Notes:
Obvious punctuation errors repaired.
Punctuation errors fixed.
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