This is a modern-English version of The Story of Don Quixote, originally written by Cervantes Saavedra, Miguel de, Edwards, Clayton, Paulson, Arvid. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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"DON QUIXOTE INSISTED THAT THE BOAT HAD BEEN SENT BY MAGIC TO FETCH HIM TO SOME GREAT KNIGHT."—Page 222 "Don Quixote was convinced that the boat had been sent by magic to take him to some great knight."—__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__

THE STORY OF

DON QUIXOTE

BY

ARVID PAULSON

AND

CLAYTON EDWARDS

WITH ILLUSTRATIONS IN COLOR BY
FLORENCE CHOATE
AND
ELIZABETH CURTIS

THE HAMPTON PUBLISHING COMPANY

NEW YORK
Copyright, MCMXXII, by
Frederick A. Stokes Co.

All rights reserved, including that of translation into foreign languages
Printed in the United States of America

CONTENTS


VOLUME I

CHAPTER PAGE
I Which Treats of the Character and Pursuits of The Famous Gentleman, Don Quixote of La Mancha 1
II-III Which Treats of the First Sally Don Quixote Made from Home 6
IV Which Treats of Don Quixote's Further Adventures 14
V In Which the Narrative of Our Knight's Mishap is Continued 20
VI Of the Diverting and Important Scrutiny Which the Curate and the Barber Made in the Library of Our Ingenious Gentleman 22
VII Of the Second Sally of Our Worthy Knight, Don Quixote of La Mancha 24
VIII-IX Of the Good Fortune Which the Valiant Don Quixote Had in the Terrible and Undreamt-of Adventure of the Windmills, with Other Occurrences Worthy to Be Fitly Recorded, Including the Terrible Battle Between the Gallant Biscayan and the Valiant Manchegan 27
X Of the Pleasant Discourse That Passed Between Don Quixote and His Squire Sancho Panza 33
XI Of What Befell Don Quixote with Certain Goatherds 37
XII Of What a Goatherd Related to Those with Don Quixote 39
XIII In Which Is Ended the Story of the Shepherdess Marcela with Other Incidents 41
XIV Wherein Are Described the Despairing Verses of the Dead Shepherd 45
XV In Which Is Related the Unfortunate Adventure That Don Quixote Fell in with When He Fell out with Certain Heartless Yanguesans 47
XVI Of What Happened to the Ingenious Gentleman in the Inn Which He Took to Be a Castle 50
XVII In Which Are Contained the Innumerable Troubles Which the Brave Don Quixote and His Good Squire Sancho Panza Endured at the Inn, Which, to His Misfortune, He Took to Be a Castle 51
XVIII In Which Is Related the Discourse Sancho Panza Held with His Master, Don Quixote, Together with Other Adventures Worth Relating 55
XIX Of the Shrewd Discourse Which Sancho Held with His Master, and of the Adventure that Befell Him with a Dead Body, Together with Other Notable Occurrences 59
XX Of the Unexampled and Unheard-of Adventure Which Was Achieved by the Valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha with Less Peril than Any Ever Achieved by Any Famous Knight in the World 62
XXI Which Treats of the Exalted Adventure and Rich Prize of Mambrino's Helmet, Together with Other Things That Happened to Our Invincible Knight 65
XXII Of the Freedom Don Quixote Conferred on Several Unfortunates Who Against Their Will Were Being Carried Where They Had No Wish to Go 68
XXIII Of What Befell Don Quixote in the Sierra Morena, Which Is One of the Rarest Adventures Related in This Veracious History 71
XXIV In Which Is Continued the Adventure of the Sierra Morena 73
XXV Which Treats of the Strange Things That Happened to the Stout Knight of La Mancha in the Sierra Morena 75
XXVI In Which Are Continued the Refinements Wherewith Don Quixote Played the Part of a Lover in the Sierra Morena 77
XXVII Of How the Curate and the Barber Proceeded with Their Scheme, Together with Other Matters Worthy of Record in This Great History 80
XXVIII Which Treats of the Strange and Delightful Adventure That Befell the Curate and the Barber In The Same Sierra 81
XXIX Which Treats of the Droll Device and Method Adopted to Extricate Our Love-stricken Knight from the Severe Penance He Had Imposed Upon Himself 83
XXX Which Treats of the Address Displayed by the Fair Dorothea, with Other Matters, Pleasant and Amusing 88
XXXI Of the Delectable Discussion Between Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, His Squire, Together with Other Incidents 90
 XXXII-XXXIV Which Treats of What Befell All Don Quixote's Party at the Inn 91
XXXV Which Treats of the Heroic and Prodigious Battle Don Quixote Had with Certain Skins of Red Wine, and Brings the Novel of the "Ill-advised Curiosity" to an End 92
XXXVI Which Treats of More Curious Incidents That Occurred at the Inn 95
XXXVII In Which Is Continued the Story of the Famous Princess Micomicona, with Other Droll Adventures 98
XXXVIII Which Treats of the Curious Discourse Don Quixote Delivered on Arms and Letters 102
XXXIX-XLI Wherein the Captive Relates His Life and Adventures 103
XLII Which Treats of What Further Took Place in the Inn, and of Several Other Things Worth Knowing 108
XLIII Wherein Is Related the Pleasant Story of the Muleteer, Together With Other Strange Things That Came To Pass in the Inn 112
XLIV In Which Are Continued the Unheard-of Adventures at the Inn 117
XLV In Which the Doubtful Question of Mambrino's Helmet and the Pack-saddle Is Finally Settled, with Other Adventures That Occurred in Truth and Earnest 123
XLVI Of the End of the Notable Adventure of the Officers of the Holy Brotherhood; and of the Great Ferocity of Our Worthy Knight, Don Quixote 127
XLVII Of the Strange Manner in Which Don Quixote of La Mancha Was Carried Away Enchanted, Together with Other Remarkable Incidents 132
XLVIII In Which the Canon Pursues the Subject of the Books of Chivalry, With Other Matters Worthy of His Wit 137
XLIX Which Treats of How Our Knight Is Permitted to Descend from His Cage, and of the Canon's Attempt to Convert Him from His Illusions 138
L-LI Of the Shrewd Controversy Which Don Quixote and the Canon Held, Together with Other Incidents 139
LII Of the Quarrel That Don Quixote Had with the Goatherd, Together with the Rare Adventure of the Penitents, Which with an Expenditure of Sweat He Brought to a Happy Conclusion 142

VOLUME II

CHAPTER PAGE
I Of the Interview the Curate and the Barber Had with Don Quixote About His Malady 147
II Which Treats of the Notable Altercation Which Sancho Panza Had with Don Quixote's Niece and His Housekeeper, Together with Other Droll Matters 150
III Of the Laughable Conversation That Passed Between Don Quixote, Sancho Panza, and the Bachelor Samson Carrasco 153
IV In Which Sancho Panza Gives a Satisfactory Reply to the Doubts and Questions of the Bachelor Samson Carrasco Together with Other Matters Worth Knowing and Mentioning 156
V Of the Shrewd and Droll Conversation That Passed Between Sancho Panza and His Wife Teresa Panza, and Other Matters Worthy of Being Duly Recorded 159
VI Of What Took Place Between Don Quixote and His Niece and His Housekeeper; One of the Most Important Chapters in the Whole History 161
VII Of What Passed Between Don Quixote and His Squire, Together With Other Very Notable Incidents 163
VIII Wherein Is Related What Befell Don Quixote on His Way to See His Lady Dulcinea Del Toboso 167
IX Wherein Is Related What Will Be Seen There 170
X Wherein Is Related the Crafty Device Sancho Adopted to Enchant the Lady Dulcinea, and Other Incidents as Ludicrous as They Are True 172
XI Of the Strange Adventure Which the Valiant Don Quixote Had with the Car or Cart of "the Cortes Of Death" 175
XII Of the Strange Adventure Which Befell the Valiant Don Quixote with the Bold Knight of the Grove 178
XIII-XIV In Which Is Continued the Adventure of the Knight of the Grove, Together With the Sensible and Tranquil Colloquy That Passed Between the Two Squires 180
XV Wherein It Is Made Known How the Knight of the Mirror and His Squire Emerged from Their Adventure 186
XVI Of What Befell Don Quixote with a Discreet Gentleman of La Mancha 187
XVII Wherein Is Shown the Farthest and Highest Point Which the Unexampled Courage of Don Quixote Reached or Could Reach; Together with the Happily Achieved Adventure of the Lions 190
XVIII Of What Happened to Don Quixote in the Castle or House of the Knight of the Green Coat, Together with Other Matters Out of the Common 194
XIX In Which Is Related the Adventure of the Enamored Shepherd, Together with Other Truly Droll Incidents 196
XX Wherein an Account Is Given of the Wedding of Camacho the Rich, Together with the Incident of Basilio the Poor 199
XXI In Which Camacho's Wedding Is Continued, with Other Delightful Incidents 200
XXII Wherein Is Related the Grand Adventure of the Cave of Montesinos in the Heart of La Mancha, Which the Valiant Don Quixote Brought To a Happy Termination 203
XXIII Of the Wonderful Things the Incomparable Don Quixote Said He Saw in the Profound Cave of Montesinos, the Impossibility and Magnitude of Which Cause This Adventure to Be Apocryphal 206
XXIV Wherein Are Related Some Trifling Matters, as Trivial as They Are Necessary to the Right Understanding of This Great History 209
XXV Wherein Is Set Down the Braying Adventure, and the Droll One of the Puppet-Showman, Together with the Memorable Divinations of the Divining Ape 210
XXVI Wherein Is Continued the Droll Adventure of the Puppet-Showman, Together with Other Things in Truth Right Good 214
XXVII Wherein It Is Shown Who Master Pedro and His Ape Were, Together with the Mishap Don Quixote Had in the Braying Adventure, Which He Did Not Conclude as He Would Have Liked or as He Had Expected 217
XXVIII Of Matters That Benengeli Says He Who Reads Them Will Know, If He Reads Them with Attention 220
XXIX Of the Famous Adventure of the Enchanted Bark 222
XXX Of Don Quixote's Adventure with a Fair Huntress 225
XXXI Which Treats of Many and Great Matters 228
XXXII Of the Reply Don Quixote Gave His Censurer, with Other Incidents, Grave and Droll 232
XXXIII Of the Delectable Discourse Which the Duchess And Her Damsels Held with Sancho Panza, Well Worth Reading and Noting 236
XXXIV Which Relates How They Learned the Way in Which They Were to Disenchant the Peerless Dulcinea Del Toboso, Which Is One of the Rarest Adventures in This Book 238
XXXV Wherein Is Continued the Instruction Given to Don Quixote Touching the Disenchantment of Dulcinea, Together with Other Marvelous Incidents 242
XXXVI Wherein Is Related the Strange and Undreamed-of Adventure of the Distressed Duenna, Alias the Countess Trifaldi, Together with a Letter Which Sancho Panza Wrote to His Wife, Teresa Panza 244
XXXVII-XXXIX Wherein Is Continued the Notable Adventure of the Distressed Duenna, Including Her Marvelous and Memorable Tale of Misfortune 246
XL Of Matters Relating and Belonging to This Adventure and to This Memorable History 249
XLI The End of This Protracted Adventure 250
XLII Of the Counsels Which Don Quixote Gave Sancho Panza Before He Set Out to Govern the Island, Together with Other Well-Considered Matters 254
XLIII Of the Second Set of Counsels Don Quixote Gave Sancho Panza 255
XLIV How Sancho Panza Was Conducted to His Government; and of the Strange Adventure That Befell Don Quixote in the Castle 257
XLV Of How the Great Sancho Panza Took Possession of His Island; and of How He Made a Beginning in Governing 259
XLVI Of the Terrible Bell and Cat Fright That Don Quixote Got in the Course of the Enamored Altisidora's Wooing 260
XLVII Wherein Is Continued the Account of How Sancho Panza Conducted Himself in His Government 263
XLVIII-XVIX Of What Happened to Sancho in Making the Round of His Island 265
L Wherein Is Set Forth How Governor Sancho Panza's Wife Received a Message and a Gift from the Duchess; and Also What Befell the Page Who Carried the Letter to Teresa Panza 267
LI Of the Progress of Sancho's Government; and Other Such Entertaining Matters 271
LII Wherein Three Delectable Epistles Are Read By the Duchess 273
LIII Of the Troublous End and Termination of Sancho Panza's Government 275
LIV-LV Of What Befell Sancho on the Road; and Other Things That Cannot Be Surpassed 280
LVI-LVII Which Treats of How Don Quixote Again Felt the Calling of Knight-errantry and How He Took Leave of the Duke, and of What Followed with the Witty and Impudent Altisidora, One of the Duchess' Damsels 284
LVIII Which Tells How Adventures Came Crowding on Don Quixote in Such Numbers That They Gave One Another No Breathing-Time 286
LIX Wherein Is Related the Strange Thing, Which May Be Regarded as an Adventure, That Happened to Don Quixote 292
LX Of What Happened to Don Quixote on His Way to Barcelona 297
LXI Of What Happened to Don Quixote on Entering Barcelona, Together with Other Matters That Partake of the True Rather Than the Ingenious 303
LXII Which Deals with the Adventure of the Enchanted Head, Together with Other Trivial Matters Which Cannot Be Left Untold 305
LXIII The Mishap That Befell Sancho Panza Through the Visit to the Galleys 310
LXIV Treating of the Adventure Which Gave Don Quixote More Unhappiness Than All That Had Hitherto Befallen Him 313
LXV Wherein Is Made Known Who the Knight of the White Moon Was; Likewise Other Events 316
LXVI-LXVII Of the Resolution Which Don Quixote Formed to Turn Shepherd and Take to a Life in the Fields While the Year for Which He Had Given His Word Was Running Its Course; with Other Events Truly Delectable and Happy 317
LXVIII Of the Bristly Adventure That Befell Don Quixote 319
LXIX Of the Strangest and Most Extraordinary Adventure That Befell Don Quixote in the Whole Course of This Great History 323
LXX Which Follows Chapter Sixty-Nine and Deals with Matters Indispensable for the Clear Comprehension of This History 328
LXXI Of What Passed Between Don Quixote and His Squire Sancho on the Way to Their Village 331
LXXII-LXXIII Of the Omens Don Quixote Had as He Entered His Own Village; and Other Incidents That Embellish and Give a Color to This Great History 334
LXXIV Of How Don Quixote Fell Sick, and of the Will He Made, and How He Died 337

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

"Don Quixote insisted that the boat had been sent by magic to fetch him to some great knight" Frontispiece
FACING PAGE
"Slashing right and left, dreaming that he had encountered the giant enemy" 94
"He prayed that he should not be left to perish in the cage" 132
"With each lash he gave out the most heartrending cries" 334


THE STORY OF DON QUIXOTE


VOLUME I


CHAPTER I

Which Treats of the Character and Pursuits of the Famous Gentleman, Don Quixote of La Mancha

NEARLY four hundred years ago, there lived in the village of La Mancha in Spain an old gentleman of few worldly possessions but many books, who was given to a hardy and adventurous way of life, and who beguiled his spare time by reading the many tales of chivalry and knighthood that were in his possession.

NEARLY four hundred years ago, there lived in the village of La Mancha in Spain an old man with few material belongings but a lot of books, who led a bold and adventurous life, and spent his free time reading the many stories of chivalry and knighthood that he owned.

This old gentleman was a tall, gaunt man of about fifty, with a lantern jaw and straggling gray hair, and eyes that had a sparkle of madness in them. His surname was Quixada or Quesada, and though not rich, he was well known to the country folk and had some reputation in the community where he lived.

This old man was a tall, skinny guy around fifty, with a strong jaw and messy gray hair, and his eyes had a hint of craziness in them. His last name was Quixada or Quesada, and although he wasn't wealthy, he was well known among the locals and had a decent reputation in his community.

In his younger days he was a great sportsman and used to get up before the sun to follow his favorite pursuits of hunting and hawking, but as he grew older he spent almost all his time in reading books on chivalry and knighthood with which his library was stocked; and at last he grew so fond of these books that he forgot to follow the hounds or even to look after his property, but spent all his time in his library, mulling over the famous deeds and love affairs of knights who conquered dragons and vanquished wicked enchanters. [Pg 2]

In his younger days, he was a great athlete and would wake up before sunrise to pursue his favorite activities of hunting and falconry. However, as he got older, he devoted almost all his time to reading books about chivalry and knighthood that filled his library. Eventually, he became so enamored with these books that he stopped following the hounds or even taking care of his property, spending all his time in his library, immersed in the famous exploits and romantic adventures of knights who defeated dragons and overcame evil sorcerers. [Pg 2]

At the time when Quesada lived, Spain was saturated with this sort of literature, and everybody wasted much time in reading books which had no merit or value of any kind and which were full of the most ridiculous and impossible adventures. On the whole they were the most utter rubbish that it was possible to print. They told about impossible deeds in the most impossible language, and were filled with ambitious sentences that meant nothing under the sun. Señor Quesada spent hours racking his brains to puzzle out the meaning of something like this:

At the time that Quesada lived, Spain was flooded with this kind of literature, and everyone wasted a lot of time reading books that had no merit or value at all and were filled with the most absurd and unbelievable adventures. Overall, they were the most complete garbage that could be printed. They recounted impossible feats in the most unrealistic language and were packed with grandiose sentences that meant absolutely nothing. Señor Quesada spent hours trying to figure out the meaning of something like this:

"The reason of the unreason with which my reason is afflicted so weakens my reason that with reason I murmur at your beauty."

"The reason for my irrationality that troubles my mind so much weakens my ability to think clearly, that I can only complain about your beauty."

Or again:

Or again:

"The high heavens that of your divinity divinely fortify you with the stars, render you deserving of the desert your greatness deserves."

"The high heavens that your divinity strengthens with the stars make you worthy of the greatness you deserve."

Poor Señor Quesada could not understand these sentences. Who could? No man in his right mind certainly, it would have taken a madman to read any real meaning into them. And he wasted so much time in puzzling over them that at last he became quite mad and the words in the books would appear on the walls of his room, written in letters of fire, with so bright a light that they prevented him from sleeping. From trying to read a meaning into things that had no meaning whatever, Señor Quesada was mad—as mad as the books he had been reading.

Poor Señor Quesada couldn't make sense of those sentences. Who could? No sane person, that's for sure; it would take a madman to find any real meaning in them. He spent so much time trying to figure them out that eventually he went completely mad, and the words from the books would appear on the walls of his room, glowing in fiery letters, so bright that they kept him from sleeping. By trying to read meaning into things that were completely meaningless, Señor Quesada lost his mind—just as mad as the books he had been reading.

Señor Quesada lived with his niece and his housekeeper, both sensible women who loved him and who were much [Pg 3] grieved over the havoc his books of chivalry had worked with his senses. They believed that to talk about these books made the old gentleman worse, so they refused to answer him when he argued about knights and dragons and whether this fair lady was an enchantress in disguise or only a mortal woman, and whether that dragon actually did breathe forth fire from his nostrils, or only sulphur fumes and smoke. His niece and the housekeeper would run away when he started upon one of his favorite subjects; so he turned to the society of the village curate, a learned man for those times, who knew almost as much about books of chivalry as Señor Quesada himself, and to that of Master Nicholas, the village barber. And these three friends would sit up until dawn arguing as to who was the better knight, Sir Lancelot or Amadis of Gaul, and how these both compared with the Knight of the Burning Sword, who with one back stroke cut in half two fierce and monstrous giants.

Señor Quesada lived with his niece and his housekeeper, both practical women who cared for him and were very upset about the chaos his books of chivalry had caused in his mind. They thought that discussing these books made the old man worse, so they refused to engage when he debated knights and dragons, whether a certain fair lady was an enchantress in disguise or just an ordinary woman, and whether that dragon really breathed fire from its nostrils or just sulfur fumes and smoke. His niece and the housekeeper would run off when he launched into one of his favorite topics; so he turned to the company of the village curate, a knowledgeable man for the time, who knew almost as much about books of chivalry as Señor Quesada himself, and also to Master Nicholas, the village barber. The three of them would stay up until dawn arguing about who was the better knight, Sir Lancelot or Amadis of Gaul, and how they compared to the Knight of the Burning Sword, who could slice in half two fierce and monstrous giants with a single swing.

After he had become thoroughly mad from reading, and more so from such arguments and discussions, Señor Quesada hit upon the strangest notion that ever entered the head of a lunatic. He believed that he and no other was called upon to restore the entire world to the ancient conditions of chivalry, and bring back the tournaments and the courteous knights and fair ladies whose like had existed in the times of the famous King Arthur of Britain. Believing this, it was an easy step for him to think that the world was still full of giants and fierce dragons for him to vanquish, and that as a man of honor and skill at arms he must leave his comfortable home and do battle [Pg 4] with them. To his disordered senses things took on a different appearance than was actually the case—inns seemed castles, and towers and hills appeared as giants that moved about in the distance; and Señor Quesada could hardly wait before he could meet them on horseback and overthrow them in battle.

After he had become completely obsessed with reading, and even more so with all the arguments and discussions that followed, Señor Quesada came up with the craziest idea that ever crossed a madman's mind. He believed that he alone was destined to restore the entire world to the old days of chivalry, bringing back tournaments and the courteous knights and beautiful ladies that existed in the time of the famous King Arthur of Britain. With this belief, it was easy for him to think that the world was still full of giants and fierce dragons for him to defeat, and that as a man of honor and skill in battle, he needed to leave his comfortable home and fight them. To his confused mind, everything looked different than it actually was—inns appeared as castles, and towers and hills looked like giants moving in the distance; and Señor Quesada could hardly wait to ride out and conquer them in battle.

To become a knight and encounter all these strange and visionary dangers it was necessary for him, however, to have a war horse, a stout lance and a suit of armor, and he cast about among his possessions to see what he could find that would answer the purpose—for he had no money to buy them, and no shop could have furnished them for him if he had possessed all the money in Spain. In his attic he found an old suit of armor that had belonged to his great-grandfather and had been lying there for ages, rotting with rust and mildew in company with old chests, bedding and other family treasures. He brought it out and scoured it as best he could and at last made it shine with considerable brightness. But the helmet was only partially complete, for it lacked a beaver and a visor to protect his face, so Señor Quesada constructed these from pasteboard and painted them to resemble the armor as closely as possible. He tried their strength with his rusty sword, and on the first stroke cut them entirely away; so he rebuilt them and forbore to try them again, hoping they would be strong enough, but fearing to make a test that might undo once more all the troublesome work that he had spent upon them.

To become a knight and face all these strange and fantastic dangers, he needed a war horse, a strong lance, and a suit of armor. He searched through his belongings to find anything that could work for him—he had no money to buy them, and no store could have supplied them even if he had all the money in Spain. In his attic, he found an old suit of armor that belonged to his great-grandfather, which had been sitting there for ages, rotting with rust and mildew, alongside old chests, bedding, and other family treasures. He brought it out and cleaned it up as best as he could until it shone somewhat brightly. However, the helmet was only partially complete; it was missing a beaver and a visor to protect his face. So, Señor Quesada made those from cardboard and painted them to match the armor as closely as possible. He tested their strength with his rusty sword, and with the first strike, he completely cut them off. He rebuilt them and decided not to test them again, hoping they would be strong enough, but fearing that another test might undo all the hard work he had put into them.

His armor now complete, he looked in his stables for a [Pg 5] horse to carry him, and found there his old hack, whose every bone was visible and who was more used to carrying sacks of potatoes and onions to market than to bearing the weight of a knight or a man at arms. This horse must have been at least twenty years old into the bargain, but to Quixada's brain it appeared a mettlesome charger and he was quite sure that his new steed would prove equal to any fatigue or danger that might come its way in the course of his adventures. And remembering that all the horses of famous warriors had possessed high-sounding names he called his horse Rocinante and adopted for himself the title of Don Quixote of La Mancha, under which name he will be known through the rest of the present history.

His armor now complete, he looked in his stables for a [Pg 5] horse to carry him, and found there his old horse, whose every bone was visible and who was more used to carrying sacks of potatoes and onions to market than to bearing the weight of a knight or soldier. This horse must have been at least twenty years old, but to Quixada it seemed like a spirited steed and he was convinced that his new horse would handle any fatigue or danger that might come its way during his adventures. Remembering that all the horses of famous warriors had grand names, he called his horse Rocinante and took for himself the title of Don Quixote of La Mancha, under which name he will be known for the rest of this story.

Another thing, however, remained wanting—a lady-love for whose sake he might do battle and whose affections might inspire him to endure all sorts of dangers and hardships. So Don Quixote straightway searched through his recollection to find one that might answer, and hit at last upon a peasant girl named Aldonza Lorenzo, with whom it is supposed he had been in love when he was a young man. And though Aldonza Lorenzo was more used to winnowing wheat and caring for the live-stock than to fine phrases and courtly manners, and though she was no better than any of the other peasant girls who lived in her locality, Don Quixote believed that she was a lady of high lineage and noble birth and christened her in his mind Dulcinea del Toboso. And he was ready to fight with any man in Spain who would not acknowledge that she was the loveliest and most gifted lady in the world. [Pg 6]

Another thing, though, was still missing—a love interest for whom he could fight and whose feelings could motivate him to face all kinds of dangers and hardships. So Don Quixote immediately searched his memory for someone who might fit that role and finally thought of a peasant girl named Aldonza Lorenzo, whom he supposedly loved when he was younger. And even though Aldonza Lorenzo was more accustomed to husking wheat and tending to livestock than to elegant speeches and courtly manners, and even though she was no better than any of the other peasant girls in her area, Don Quixote believed she was a lady of noble lineage and grand birth, and in his mind, he named her Dulcinea del Toboso. He was ready to fight anyone in Spain who wouldn’t recognize her as the most beautiful and exceptional lady in the world. [Pg 6]

A lance was easily made, and now, possessed of war horse, armor, weapons, and a glorious lady to do battle for, the poor old man was ready, so he believed, to go forth and meet the high adventures that he felt sure were awaiting him.

A lance was easy to make, and now, having a war horse, armor, weapons, and a beautiful lady to fight for, the poor old man thought he was ready to go out and face the great adventures he was certain were waiting for him.


CHAPTERS II-III

Which Treats of the First Sally Don Quixote Made from Home

ALL things being ready, Don Quixote wished for no delay, and before sunrise on one of the hottest days of midsummer, he stole from his bed—taking care not to awaken his niece or his housekeeper—put on his ancient armor, saddled Rocinante, and with lance in hand and sword clattering beside him made his way across the fields in the highest state of content and satisfaction at the ease with which his purpose had been accomplished. He could hardly wait for his adventures to begin, or for the chance to try the strength of his mighty arm upon some wicked warrior or, better still, some dragon or giant; but scarcely did he find himself upon the open plain before a terrible thought came to his mind and one that nearly made him abandon his adventure before it was well begun. He reflected that, according to the rules of chivalry, he must be dubbed a knight before he could undertake any battles or engagements, and afterward he must wear white armor without any device upon his shield, until he had proved [Pg 7] by bravery and endurance his right to these privileges of knighthood. He consoled himself, however, by resolving to have himself dubbed a knight by the first person who came along; and as for white armor, he determined to make his own rival the brightness of the moon by industrious scouring.

ALL things being ready, Don Quixote didn’t want to wait, and before sunrise on one of the hottest days of summer, he snuck out of bed—making sure not to wake his niece or his housekeeper—put on his old armor, saddled Rocinante, and with lance in hand and sword clanging beside him, made his way across the fields feeling completely content with how easily he had accomplished his goal. He could barely wait for his adventures to start or for the chance to test the strength of his mighty arm against some wicked warrior or, even better, a dragon or giant; but just as he found himself on the open plain, a terrible thought crossed his mind that nearly made him give up his adventure before it even started. He realized that, according to the rules of chivalry, he had to be knighted before he could take on any battles or challenges, and afterward, he had to wear white armor without any design on his shield until he had proven his worthiness for the privileges of knighthood through bravery and endurance. However, he comforted himself by deciding to get knighted by the first person he came across; and as for white armor, he planned to make it shine like the brightness of the moon through diligent polishing.

Comforting himself with thoughts such as these, he pursued his way, which he allowed his horse to choose for him, thinking that in so doing he would be guided more surely and more quickly to the adventures that were awaiting him. And as he rode along he amused himself by quoting imaginary passages from the books that he felt sure would be written about his noble deeds—deeds that he would soon accomplish and that would astonish the entire world by their bravery and hardihood. At times he would break into wild speech, calling his lady Dulcinea by name and saying: "O Princess Dulcinea, lady of this captive heart, a grievous wrong hast thou done me to drive me forth with scorn and banish me from the presence of thy beauty!"

Comforting himself with thoughts like these, he continued on his way, letting his horse choose the path for him, believing that this would lead him more surely and quickly to the adventures waiting for him. As he rode, he entertained himself by imagining quotes from the books he was sure would be written about his noble deeds—feats he would soon accomplish that would amaze the entire world with their courage and boldness. Sometimes he would burst into passionate speech, calling out to his lady Dulcinea, saying: "O Princess Dulcinea, lady of this captive heart, you have done me a great wrong by driving me away with scorn and banishing me from the presence of your beauty!"

And so he went along, stringing such absurd phrases together, while the hot sun rose and grew hotter, until it would have melted his brains in his helmet, if he had any. He traveled nearly all day without seeing anything remarkable, at which he was in despair, for he could hardly wait, as we have said, for his adventures to begin.

And so he continued on, piecing together such ridiculous phrases, while the blazing sun rose and got even hotter, to the point where it felt like it would fry his brain inside his helmet, if he had one. He spent almost the entire day without encountering anything noteworthy, which left him feeling hopeless, because he could barely contain his excitement for his adventures to kick off.

Toward evening he came in sight of a common wayside inn, and standing at the door were two peasant girls who looked with astonishment on the strange figure that was approaching them. To the disordered imagination of Don Quixote, this appeared to be a castle with four towers, and [Pg 8] the girls who stood in front of the door seemed ladies of noble birth and peerless beauty. He seemed to see behind them a drawbridge and a moat, and waited for some dwarf to appear upon the castle battlements and by sound of a trumpet announce that a knight was approaching the gates.

Toward evening, he spotted a rustic inn, and at the door stood two peasant girls who gazed in astonishment at the unusual figure approaching them. In the disordered mind of Don Quixote, this looked like a castle with four towers, and the girls at the door seemed like noble ladies of unmatched beauty. He imagined seeing a drawbridge and a moat behind them, and he waited for a dwarf to appear on the castle walls, ready to sound a trumpet to announce that a knight was approaching the gates.

At this point a swineherd who was gathering his pigs did happen to blow a blast on his horn to scare his charges along the road; and this, appearing to Don Quixote to be the dwarfs signal that he had expected, he drew near in high satisfaction, while Rocinante, scenting stables and hay and water, pricked up his ears and advanced at a brisk trot until the inn door was reached and Don Quixote addressed the astonished girls who were waiting there.

At that moment, a pig herder who was rounding up his pigs happened to blow his horn to drive them down the road; and to Don Quixote, this sounded like the signal from the dwarf he had been expecting. He approached with great satisfaction, while Rocinante, picking up the scent of stables, hay, and water, perked up his ears and trotted briskly until they reached the inn door, where Don Quixote greeted the astonished girls who were waiting there.

The girls, on seeing an armed man approaching them, had turned to seek safety indoors, when Don Quixote, lifting his pasteboard beaver, said to them in the most courteous manner he could command:

The girls, seeing an armed man coming toward them, turned to find safety inside, when Don Quixote, raising his cardboard helmet, said to them as politely as he could:

"Ladies, I beseech you, do not fly or fear any manner of rudeness, for it is against the rules of the knighthood, which I profess, to offer harm to high-born ladies such as you appear to be."

"Ladies, I urge you, do not run away or be afraid of any kind of rudeness, because it goes against the code of chivalry that I adhere to, to cause harm to noble ladies like you seem to be."

The girls, hearing themselves addressed in this strange manner and called ladies, could not refrain from giggling, at which Don Quixote rebuked them, saying:

The girls, hearing themselves spoken to in this unusual way and being called ladies, couldn't help but giggle, which prompted Don Quixote to scold them, saying:

"Modesty becomes the fair, and laughter without cause is the greatest silliness."

"Being modest suits a beautiful person, and laughing for no reason is the height of silliness."

The strange language and dilapidated appearance of the speaker only increased the girls' laughter, and that increased Don Quixote's irritation; and matters might have [Pg 9] gone farther if the landlord had not appeared at this moment to see what might be the matter. When he beheld the grotesque figure on horseback whose armor did not match and whose mount was the sorriest one imaginable, it was all he could do to refrain from joining the girls in their hilarity; but being a little in awe of the strange knight, whose lance was pointed and whose sword appeared to have both strength and weight, he spoke courteously to Don Quixote. He told him that if he sought food or lodging he should have the best that the inn could afford for man or beast. And the poor old gentleman, who had been riding in the heat all day without food or drink, climbed stiffly out of the saddle and suffered Rocinante to be led away to the stable, cautioning the landlord to take the utmost care of him, for he was the finest bit of horseflesh in the world. The host, however, looking over the bony carcass of the old farm animal, had more difficulty than before in restraining his laughter.

The unusual speech and shabby look of the speaker only made the girls laugh even harder, which just annoyed Don Quixote more; things might have gotten out of hand if the landlord hadn't shown up at that moment to see what was going on. When he saw the ridiculous figure on horseback, whose mismatched armor and the saddest-looking horse he could imagine, he nearly joined in the girls’ laughter; but being somewhat intimidated by the strange knight, whose lance was raised and whose sword looked strong and heavy, he spoke politely to Don Quixote. He told him that if he needed food or a place to stay, he would get the best the inn could offer for both man and beast. The poor old gentleman, who had been riding all day in the heat without food or drink, climbed stiffly down from the saddle and let Rocinante be taken to the stable, warning the landlord to take great care of him, as he was the finest horse in the world. However, the host, looking at the skinny old nag, found it even harder to hold back his laughter.

The girls now perceived that they had a crazy man before them and they entered into the spirit of the occasion.

The girls now realized that they had a madman in front of them, and they embraced the vibe of the moment.

They helped Don Quixote remove his armor; but the helmet they could do nothing with, for it was tied tightly with green ribbons about his neck and on no pretext whatever would he hear of cutting them.

They helped Don Quixote take off his armor, but they couldn't do anything with the helmet because it was tied securely with green ribbons around his neck, and under no circumstances would he agree to cut them.

They laid a table for him at the door of the inn for the sake of the air, and the host brought him a piece of badly soaked and badly cooked fish and a piece of bread as black and moldy as his own armor. And a laughable sight it was to see Don Quixote eat—for, having his helmet on, he could not reach his own mouth, but had to be fed, bit by [Pg 10] bit, by one of the girls; and for drink he would have gone without altogether if the innkeeper had not brought a hollow reed and putting one end into the knight's mouth, poured wine through the other.

They set up a table for him at the entrance of the inn to enjoy the fresh air, and the innkeeper brought him a piece of soggy, poorly cooked fish and a piece of bread as dark and moldy as his own armor. It was a comical sight to watch Don Quixote eat—since he was wearing his helmet, he couldn’t reach his mouth and had to be fed, bite by [Pg 10] bite, by one of the girls. And he would have gone without a drink entirely if the innkeeper hadn’t brought a hollow reed, placing one end in the knight's mouth and pouring wine through the other.

While this was going on Don Quixote heard once more the swineherd's horn and felt entirely happy and satisfied, for he was convinced that he was in some famous castle and that they were regaling him with music; that the fish was trout, the bread of the whitest, the peasant girls beautiful ladies, and the landlord the castle steward. But he still felt distressed because he had not been dubbed a knight, and resolved to remedy this fault as soon as his supper was finished.

While this was happening, Don Quixote heard the swineherd's horn again and felt completely happy and satisfied because he was convinced he was in a famous castle, enjoying music. He imagined the fish he was eating was trout, the bread was the whitest, the peasant girls were beautiful ladies, and the landlord was the castle steward. However, he still felt troubled because he hadn’t been made a knight yet, so he decided to fix that as soon as he finished his dinner.

As soon as he had eaten his fill, he called the landlord of the inn, and taking him into the stable, knelt on the ground before him, declaring that he would not rise until the landlord should grant his wish and dub him a knight so that he could continue on his adventures according to the laws of chivalry. For Don Quixote, as we have said, looked on the landlord as a person of great authority, with full power to make him a knight if he chose to do so.

As soon as he finished eating, he called the innkeeper over, took him into the stable, knelt on the ground in front of him, and insisted that he wouldn’t get up until the innkeeper granted his wish and made him a knight so he could continue his adventures according to the rules of chivalry. Don Quixote, as we mentioned, saw the innkeeper as someone of great authority, with the complete power to knight him if he wanted to.

The landlord was something of a wag, and well aware that his guest was mad. He therefore decided to fall in with his wishes for the sport of the thing; so he told Don Quixote that he would make him a knight and gladly, that he too had been a knight errant in his time and wandered all over Spain seeking adventures, where he had proved the lightness of his feet in running away and the quickness of his fingers in picking pockets, until he had swindled [Pg 11] and cheated so many people that he had been forced to retire to this castle of his. Here he lived on his property—and that of other persons—and he accepted money from wandering knights errant in return for the kindness and services he rendered them. And when Don Quixote told him that he never carried money with him in his travels, the landlord assured him he was making the greatest mistake in the world and that he must not suppose that, just because money and clean shirts were not mentioned in the books of chivalry of the time, the knights did without them; that was not the case at all.

The landlord was quite the joker and knew his guest was a bit crazy. So, he decided to go along with his wishes for fun; he told Don Quixote that he would make him a knight and happily shared that he too had been a knight-errant once, wandering all over Spain looking for adventures. He boasted about how quick he was on his feet when running away and how fast his hands were at picking pockets, claiming he had swindled [Pg 11] and cheated so many people that he had to retire to his castle. Here, he lived off his own land—and other people's—and accepted money from wandering knights-errant in exchange for the help and services he offered. When Don Quixote mentioned that he never carried money while traveling, the landlord insisted he was making a huge mistake and that he shouldn't think that, just because there was no mention of money and clean shirts in the chivalry books of the time, knights managed without them; that was definitely not true.

At last it was decided that the landlord should dub Don Quixote a knight on the following morning, and that the night should be spent by Don Quixote in watching over his armor in prayer and fasting, as was the custom with knights before they received the title of full knighthood and could go abroad on their adventures with a strong arm and untroubled spirit.

At last, it was decided that the landlord would make Don Quixote a knight the next morning, and that Don Quixote would spend the night watching over his armor in prayer and fasting, just as knights did before they officially became knights and could set out on their adventures with strength and a clear mind.

It had been arranged between the landlord and Don Quixote that the watch over the armor should take place in the courtyard of the inn. Don Quixote placed his corselet and helmet by the side of a well from which the carriers drew water, and, grasping his lance, commenced to march up and down before it like a sentinel on duty; and as the hours wore by and the march continued, the landlord called other persons to watch the performance, explaining that the man was mad, and telling of the ceremony that was to take place in the morning. The passers-by, viewing the steadiness with which Don Quixote [Pg 12] paced to and fro in the moonlight and the resolute way in which he handled his lance, were struck with wonder both at the peculiarity of the sight and the strange form that Don Quixote's madness had taken.

It had been arranged between the landlord and Don Quixote that the watch over the armor would happen in the courtyard of the inn. Don Quixote set his corselet and helmet next to a well where the carriers drew water and, holding his lance, started pacing back and forth in front of it like a guard on duty. As the hours passed and his march continued, the landlord called other people to come watch, explaining that the man was crazy and telling them about the ceremony that was going to happen in the morning. The onlookers, seeing the way Don Quixote steadily walked back and forth in the moonlight and how firmly he handled his lance, were amazed by both the oddity of the scene and the unusual nature of Don Quixote's madness.

At last, however, it became necessary for one of the carriers to draw water from the well. He did not observe the madman and he paid no attention to the armor until he stumbled across it, when he picked it up and flung it from him, whereupon Don Quixote raised his lance and struck him such a blow that he fell senseless on the ground and lay there stunned. Soon after this another carrier, who did not know of what had happened to the first one, approached with the same object; and Don Quixote, thinking him an enemy, also struck at him and laid his head open with two cuts from his lance in the form of a cross.

At last, one of the carriers had to get water from the well. He didn’t notice the madman and ignored the armor until he tripped over it. When he picked it up and threw it away, Don Quixote lifted his lance and hit him so hard that he collapsed on the ground, unconscious. Shortly after, another carrier, who was unaware of what had just happened, came over to do the same thing. Thinking he was an enemy, Don Quixote struck him too, opening a cross-shaped wound on his head with two cuts from his lance.

The people of the inn heard the noise of the second encounter and came running to the spot. When they beheld what had happened and saw the battered condition of the carriers they commenced to throw stones at Don Quixote, not daring to approach him; and he, shielding himself as best he could with his buckler, defied them to draw near on pain of their lives, and returned the abuse and hard names they showered upon him. And he shouted at them with such a terrible voice that they became afraid and left him alone, moved not only by his threats but by the entreaties of the landlord, who kept calling out to them that the man was mad and would not be held accountable should he kill them all.

The people at the inn heard the noise from the second fight and rushed over. When they saw what had happened and noticed the battered state of the carriers, they started throwing stones at Don Quixote, not daring to get too close. He defended himself as best as he could with his shield, challenging them to come near at the risk of their lives, and he matched their insults and harsh names. He yelled at them with such a loud voice that they got scared and backed off, influenced not just by his threats but also by the landlord, who kept shouting that the man was crazy and wouldn’t be responsible if he ended up killing them all.

The freaks of Don Quixote were not to the landlord's [Pg 13] liking, and he desired to get rid of the strange knight with as little trouble as possible. He approached the well and told Don Quixote that the time for the ceremony of knighthood had now arrived, and that all the requirements had been met with by the watch that Don Quixote had already performed. He pulled out an account-book in which he kept the record of the straw and grain that he sold and bade Don Quixote kneel down before him. Then he read out the accounts in a solemn voice as though he were repeating some devout prayer, and the stable-boy and the two girls who worked at the inn stood by with a candle, trying to control their laughter. When the reading was finished the landlord took Don Quixote's sword and tapped him sharply on the shoulder, pretending to mutter more prayers while he was doing it, and one of the girls girded the sword about Don Quixote's waist, saying, as she did so:

The oddities of Don Quixote were not to the landlord's taste, and he wanted to get rid of the peculiar knight with minimal hassle. He went to the well and informed Don Quixote that it was time for the knighthood ceremony, and that all the prerequisites had been met with the watch that Don Quixote had already carried out. He took out an account book where he kept track of the straw and grain he sold and told Don Quixote to kneel before him. Then he read the accounts in a serious tone, almost like he was saying a prayer, while the stable-boy and the two girls working at the inn stood nearby with a candle, trying not to laugh. Once the reading was over, the landlord took Don Quixote's sword and tapped him sharply on the shoulder, pretending to mutter more prayers as he did so, and one of the girls fastened the sword around Don Quixote's waist, saying, as she did so:

"May God make your Worship a very fortunate knight, and grant you success in battle!"

"May God make you a truly lucky knight, and grant you success in battle!"

Thus the ceremony was ended and Don Quixote was satisfied. And then it came about as the landlord had hoped and expected. The new knight was so eager to set out on his journey that he saddled his horse and rode forth at once, without paying his bill for his supper; and the landlord was so glad to see the last of him that he made no objection to this, thinking himself lucky to have got rid of the knight so cheaply, and he closed the door behind him as quickly as possible, thanking his lucky stars that Don Quixote was gone. [Pg 14]

So, the ceremony ended, and Don Quixote felt satisfied. As the landlord had hoped, the new knight was so eager to start his journey that he saddled his horse and rode off immediately, without paying for his dinner. The landlord was so happy to see him go that he didn't complain, thinking he was lucky to have gotten rid of the knight so easily. He quickly closed the door behind him, grateful that Don Quixote was gone. [Pg 14]


CHAPTER IV

Which Treats of Don Quixote's Further Adventures

IT was dawn when Don Quixote quitted the inn. He decided to return home to provide himself with money, shirts, and a squire, as the innkeeper had suggested, and so he turned his horse's head toward his village.

IT was dawn when Don Quixote left the inn. He decided to head home to get some money, shirts, and a squire, as the innkeeper had suggested, so he turned his horse toward his village.

He had not gone far, however, when he heard a feeble cry from the depths of a thicket on the roadside, as of some one in pain. He paused to thank Heaven for having favored him with this opportunity of fulfilling the obligation he had undertaken and gathering the fruit of his ambition; for he was certain that he had been called on from above to give aid and protection to some one in dire need. He quickly turned Rocinante in the direction from which the cries seemed to come; and he had gone but a few paces into the wood when he saw a youth, stripped to the waist and tied to a tree, being flogged in a merciless way by a powerful farmer. All the while the boy was crying out in his agony: "I won't do it again, master! I won't do it again! I promise I'll take better care of the sheep hereafter!"

He hadn't gone far when he heard a weak cry from deep in a thicket by the roadside, like someone in pain. He paused to thank heaven for giving him the chance to fulfill his responsibility and achieve his dreams; he was sure he had been called from above to help someone in desperate need. He quickly turned Rocinante toward the direction of the cries and had barely taken a few steps into the woods when he saw a young man, bare-chested and tied to a tree, being brutally whipped by a strong farmer. The boy was crying out in his agony: "I won't do it again, master! I won't do it again! I promise I'll take better care of the sheep from now on!"

When Don Quixote saw what was going on he became most indignant.

When Don Quixote saw what was happening, he became really angry.

"Discourteous knight," he commanded in angry tones, [Pg 15] "it ill becomes you to assail one who cannot defend himself! Mount your steed and take your lance! I will make you know that you are behaving like a coward!"

"Rude knight," he shouted angrily, [Pg 15] "it's shameful for you to attack someone who can't defend themselves! Get on your horse and grab your lance! I'll make you realize that you're acting like a coward!"

The farmer looked up and saw Don Quixote in full armor, brandishing a lance over his head. He gave himself up for dead, then, and answered meekly:

The farmer looked up and saw Don Quixote in full armor, raising a lance above his head. He resigned himself to his fate and replied submissively:

"Sir knight, the youth I am chastising is my servant. I employ him to watch a flock of sheep, and he is so careless that he loses one for me every day. And when I punish him for being careless, he accuses me of being a miser, saying that I do it that I might escape paying him the wages I owe him. That, I swear, is a sinful lie!"

"Sir knight, the young man I’m scolding is my servant. I hire him to tend a flock of sheep, and he’s so careless that he loses one for me every day. And when I punish him for being negligent, he claims I’m a miser, saying I do it to avoid paying him the wages I owe. I swear, that is a sinful lie!"

But the farmer's defense only angered Don Quixote all the more. He threatened to run the man through with his lance if he did not release the boy at once and pay him every penny he owed him in wages. Don Quixote then helped the lad to add up how much nine months' wages at seven reals a month might be, and found that it would make sixty-three reals; and the farmer was given his choice between paying his debt and dying upon the spot. The farmer replied, trembling with fear, that the sum was not so great and asked Don Quixote to take into account and deduct three pairs of shoes he had given the boy and a real for two blood-lettings when he was sick. But Don Quixote would not listen to this at all. He declared that the shoes and the blood-lettings had already been paid for by the blows the farmer had given the boy without cause, for, said he, "If he spoiled the leather of the shoes you paid for, you have damaged that of his body; and if [Pg 16] the barber took blood from him when he was sick, you have drawn it when he was sound; so on that score he owes you nothing."

But the farmer's defense only made Don Quixote angrier. He threatened to run the man through with his lance if he didn’t let the boy go immediately and pay him every penny he owed in wages. Don Quixote then helped the kid calculate how much nine months’ wages at seven reals a month would be, discovering it totaled sixty-three reals; the farmer had to choose between paying his debt or dying right there. Trembling with fear, the farmer replied that the amount wasn’t that large and asked Don Quixote to take into account and deduct three pairs of shoes he had given the boy and a real for two blood-lettings when he was sick. But Don Quixote wouldn’t hear any of it. He declared that the shoes and the blood-lettings had already been paid for by the blows the farmer had unjustly given the boy, saying, "If he ruined the leather of the shoes you paid for, you’ve damaged his body; and if the barber took blood from him when he was sick, you’ve taken it when he was healthy, so on that point he owes you nothing."

When the farmer had heard his final judgment pronounced, he commenced to wail that he had no money about him, and pleaded with Don Quixote to let Andres, the lad, come home with him, when he would pay him real by real. Upon hearing this Andres turned to our knight errant and warned him that once he had departed his master would flay him like a Saint Bartholomew; but Don Quixote reassured him, saying now that his master had sworn to him by the knighthood that he, Don Quixote, had conferred upon him, justice would be done, and he himself would guarantee the payment.

When the farmer heard his final judgment, he started to cry that he had no money on him and begged Don Quixote to let Andres, the boy, come home with him, promising to pay him back for every real. Upon hearing this, Andres turned to our knight errant and warned him that once he left, his master would punish him terribly; but Don Quixote reassured him, saying that since his master had sworn to him by the knighthood that he, Don Quixote, had given him, justice would be served, and he himself would guarantee the payment.

The youth had his doubts, however, and he dared to correct Don Quixote.

The young man had his doubts, though, and he dared to correct Don Quixote.

"Consider what you say, Señor," he said. "This master of mine is not a knight; he is simply Juan Haldudo the Rich, of Quintanar."

"Think about what you're saying, sir," he said. "This master of mine isn't a knight; he's just Juan Haldudo the Rich, from Quintanar."

To this Don Quixote replied that it mattered little; and the farmer again swore by all the knighthoods in the world to pay the lad as he had promised if he only came home.

To this, Don Quixote responded that it didn't matter much; and the farmer once again swore by all the knighthoods in the world to pay the boy as he had promised if he just came home.

"See that you do as you have sworn," said Don Quixote, "for if you do not, by the same oath I swear to come back and hunt you out and punish you; and I shall find you though you should lie closer than a lizard! If you desire to know who it is lays this command upon you, that you may be more firmly bound to obey it, know that I am the valorous Don Quixote of La Mancha, the undoer of wrongs and injustices. And so, God be with you! But keep in [Pg 17] mind what you have promised and sworn on pain of those penalties that have been already declared to you!"

"Make sure you do what you promised," said Don Quixote, "because if you don't, I swear by the same oath to come back, track you down, and punish you. I'll find you even if you hide like a lizard! If you want to know who's giving you this order so you feel more obligated to follow it, know that I am the brave Don Quixote of La Mancha, the one who rights wrongs and injustices. So, take care! But remember what you've promised and swore, or you'll face the penalties I’ve already explained to you!"

With these words he gave his steed the spur and rode away in a triumphant gallop, and was soon out of sight and reach. Now, when the farmer had convinced himself that the undoer of wrongs and injustices had entirely disappeared, he decided to give payment to the lad, Andres, then and there, without waiting till he came home; and so he tied him again to the tree and beat him until he was nearly dead.

With those words, he kicked his horse into a gallop and quickly rode away, disappearing from view. Once the farmer was sure that the one who righted wrongs and injustices was completely gone, he decided to pay the boy, Andres, on the spot, instead of waiting until he got home; so he tied him back to the tree and beat him until he was almost dead.

"Your valiant knight has made me realize an affection for you hitherto unknown to me. I shall give you added payment for that. Now go and look for him!" he remarked, as he gave him a last blow and untied him. And while the poor boy went off weeping, the lusty farmer stood there and laughed.

"Your brave knight has made me realize feelings for you that I never knew I had. I'll reward you for that. Now go and find him!" he said, giving him one last hit and untying him. And as the poor boy walked away in tears, the strong farmer just stood there laughing.

Thus it was that our noble knight righted that wrong. Don Quixote, however, was thoroughly satisfied with what he had done. He thought himself a most heroic figure and felt that he had made a most auspicious beginning in his knighthood. And as he was taking the road toward his village, utterly content with his own behavior, he said to himself: "Well mayest thou this day call thyself fortunate above all on earth, O Dulcinea del Toboso, fairest of the fair! since it has fallen to thy lot to hold subject and submissive to thy will and pleasure a knight so renowned as Don Quixote of La Mancha, who, as all the world knows, yesterday received the order of knighthood, and hath to-day righted the greatest wrong and grievance that ever injustice conceived and cruelty perpetrated: who hath [Pg 18] to-day plucked the rod from the hand of yonder ruthless oppressor so wantonly lashing that tender child."

Thus it was that our noble knight righted that wrong. Don Quixote, however, was completely satisfied with what he had done. He saw himself as a very heroic figure and felt he had made a great start in his knighthood. As he was heading toward his village, totally content with his actions, he said to himself: "Today, you can truly consider yourself lucky above all on earth, O Dulcinea del Toboso, fairest of the fair! For you have the honor of having a knight as renowned as Don Quixote of La Mancha, who, as the whole world knows, was just knighted yesterday and has today righted the greatest wrong and grievance that ever injustice conceived and cruelty committed: who has [Pg 18] today taken the whip from the hands of that ruthless oppressor who was so cruelly whipping that tender child."

As he was meditating and speaking in this fashion, he suddenly found himself at four crossroads. Of course, he had to emulate other knights who had gone before him, and follow tradition; so he paused in the manner that all knights do in books, and pondered, and, after much deep concern and consideration, finally decided to leave it to the instinct of his horse. The noble animal, realizing that his master had relinquished his will in his favor, made straight for his own stable, of course.

As he was thinking and talking like this, he suddenly found himself at a four-way intersection. Naturally, he felt the need to follow in the footsteps of other knights before him and stick to tradition; so he paused, like all knights do in stories, and thought deeply. After a lot of careful consideration, he finally decided to let his horse choose the way. The loyal animal, sensing that his master had given up control, headed straight for his own stable, of course.

After he had ridden a few miles, Don Quixote encountered six merchants from Toledo, who were on their way to Murcia to buy silk. They were accompanied by four mounted servants, and three who were on foot. Scarcely had he perceived them when his romantic imagination prompted him to believe that a fresh adventure was intended for him, and he began to prepare for it with great gestures. He fixed himself majestically and safely in the saddle, made ready with his lance, and planted himself firmly in the middle of the road. Here he awaited the arrival of the traders, who appeared to him to be real knights like himself; and as they came close to him, he halted them with a broad sweep of his lance, exclaiming boldly:

After riding a few miles, Don Quixote came across six merchants from Toledo who were on their way to Murcia to buy silk. They had four mounted servants with them and three who were on foot. As soon as he saw them, his romantic imagination led him to think that a new adventure was about to happen, and he started to prepare for it with grand gestures. He positioned himself majestically and securely in the saddle, readied his lance, and planted himself firmly in the middle of the road. There he waited for the traders, who he believed were real knights like himself; and as they got closer, he halted them with a sweeping motion of his lance, boldly exclaiming:

"All the world stand, unless all the world confess that in all the world there is no maiden fairer than the Empress of La Mancha, the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso!"

"Everyone in the world stand, unless everyone in the world admits that there is no maiden more beautiful than the Empress of La Mancha, the unmatched Dulcinea del Toboso!"

The thirteen men could not help but stand still at the sound of such words; nor did they hesitate about thinking [Pg 19] that the speaker of them might be lacking in some of his wits. One of the travelers, however, either was curious or had a failing for making fun of people, for he asked Don Quixote to produce the lady before asking him to pay her his respects. Perhaps he was skeptical of his country's harboring such a rare beauty unbeknown to him.

The thirteen men couldn't help but freeze at the sound of those words; nor did they hesitate to think [Pg 19] that the person speaking might be a bit eccentric. One of the travelers, however, either curious or just someone who enjoyed poking fun at others, asked Don Quixote to show him the lady before expecting him to pay his respects. Maybe he was doubtful that his country could hide such a rare beauty from him.

But Don Quixote was not to be fooled. "If I were to show her to you," he replied, "what merit would you have in confessing a truth so manifest? You must believe without seeing her; otherwise you have to do with me in battle. Come on, you rabble! I rely on the justice of the cause I maintain!"

But Don Quixote wasn't going to be tricked. "If I were to show her to you," he said, "what credit would you get for admitting a truth that's so obvious? You have to believe without seeing her; otherwise, you'll have to fight me. Come on, you bunch of fools! I trust in the righteousness of my cause!"

The merchant with a sense of humor tried to plead for consideration. He suggested that a portrait of the fair lady might suffice to bring about a conversion to his conception of her beauty. But Don Quixote was determined that they were intolerant blasphemers who simply had to be thrashed. So he suddenly charged with such vehemence and fury that, if luck had not interfered and made his gentle steed stumble, the trader might have been killed. As Rocinante went down, our gallant hero went over his head, and after he had struck the ground he rolled for some distance. But when he tried to rise he could not: he was so weighted down with armor, helmet, spurs, buckler and lance. To make matters worse, one of the servants, having broken his lance in two, proceeded to batter him with one of the pieces until it seemed as if Don Quixote would be able to stand no more. Finally the man grew [Pg 20] tired and went to catch up with his party, which had continued its way. But Don Quixote still lay on the ground, unable to get up.

The merchant with a sense of humor tried to ask for some understanding. He suggested that a portrait of the beautiful lady could help change their minds about her beauty. But Don Quixote was convinced they were intolerant blasphemers who just had to be beaten. So he charged at them with such force and anger that, if luck hadn’t intervened and made his gentle horse stumble, the trader might have been killed. As Rocinante fell, our brave hero went over his head and, after hitting the ground, rolled for a while. When he tried to get up, he couldn’t: he was too weighed down by his armor, helmet, spurs, shield, and lance. To make things worse, one of the servants, having broken his lance in half, started hitting him with one of the pieces until it seemed like Don Quixote wouldn’t be able to take any more. Eventually, the man got tired and went to catch up with his group, which had kept moving on. But Don Quixote was still lying there, unable to get up.


CHAPTER V

In Which the Narrative of Our Knight's Mishap is Continued

WHEN Don Quixote began to realize that he was, so to speak, anchored to the ground, he turned his thoughts to his usual remedy, his books on knighthood and chivalry, which, in fact, had been the cause of his downfall. He decided that the passage to fit his case was the one about Baldwin and the Marquis of Mantua when Carloto left him wounded on the mountainside—for that he had been wounded by brigands he had no doubt. So he began to feign severe suffering, rolling to and fro on the ground, and repeating words that he had read in his books and ascribed to Baldwin as he lay wounded; until he finally was discovered by a peasant from his own village, a neighbor of his, whom he took for Baldwin's uncle, the Marquis of Mantua. This good neighbor of Don Quixote's was much concerned over his ravings. He removed the knight's breastplate, back piece and visor, expecting to see him badly wounded; but he found no trace of blood or marks upon him. Then he succeeded in hoisting poor Don Quixote up on his donkey, which seemed the easiest mount for him, while he tied the pieces of his arms on Rocinante. And thus they proceeded toward the village. Because of [Pg 21] his blows and bruises, Don Quixote had a hard task sitting upright on the ass, and he emphasized the romance of his situation by constantly heaving sighs to heaven. But every time the peasant was driven by these sighs to ask him his trouble, he replied in the language of a different hero from a different book.

WHEN Don Quixote started to realize that he was, so to speak, stuck to the ground, he turned to his usual solution: his books about knighthood and chivalry, which, in fact, had caused his downfall. He decided that the right story for his situation was the one about Baldwin and the Marquis of Mantua when Carloto left him injured on the mountainside—because he had no doubt he was hurt by bandits. So, he began to fake severe pain, rolling back and forth on the ground, and repeating phrases he had read in his books that were attributed to Baldwin while he was wounded; until he was finally spotted by a peasant from his village, a neighbor of his, whom he mistook for Baldwin's uncle, the Marquis of Mantua. This kind neighbor was very concerned about Don Quixote's ramblings. He removed the knight's breastplate, back piece, and visor, expecting to find him badly injured; but he discovered no blood or marks on him. Then he managed to lift poor Don Quixote onto his donkey, which seemed the easiest way for him to ride, while he secured the pieces of his armor on Rocinante. And so they made their way toward the village. Because of his aches and bruises, Don Quixote struggled to sit upright on the donkey, emphasizing the drama of his situation by frequently sighing dramatically. But every time the peasant, moved by these sighs, asked him what was wrong, he responded in the voice of a different hero from another book.

It was nightfall when they arrived at Don Quixote's house in the village. His housekeeper, the curate, and the village barber were all in confusion, for it was now six days since the old gentleman had disappeared from La Mancha with his hack and armor. They had just come to the conclusion that his books were to blame for his dilapidated mentality, and agreed that they ought to be condemned to be publicly burned, when the peasant suddenly arrived with Don Quixote himself. They all ran out to greet and embrace him while he was still on the donkey—he had not dismounted because he could not. He insisted that he was severely wounded—through no fault of his own, however, but that of his horse—and asked that they put him to bed and send for the wise Urganda to cure him.

It was nighttime when they reached Don Quixote's house in the village. His housekeeper, the curate, and the village barber were all in a state of panic, as it had been six days since the old gentleman had vanished from La Mancha with his horse and armor. They had just concluded that his books were responsible for his poor mental state and agreed that they should be publicly burned, when a peasant suddenly arrived with Don Quixote himself. They all rushed out to greet and hug him while he was still on the donkey—he hadn't gotten off because he couldn't. He insisted that he was badly injured—through no fault of his own, of course, but that of his horse—and asked them to help him to bed and call for the wise Urganda to heal him.

The good people carried him to bed, but still they could find no wounds, although he insisted that he had been wounded in combat with ten giants, the greatest and most bloodthirsty in the world. Then he asked for something to eat; and then fell asleep. [Pg 22]

The kind people took him to bed, but they still couldn’t find any injuries, even though he claimed he had been hurt while fighting ten giants, the biggest and most ruthless in the world. Then he asked for something to eat and soon fell asleep. [Pg 22]


CHAPTER VI

Of the Diverting and Important Scrutiny Which the Curate and the Barber Made in the Library of Our Ingenious Gentleman

EARLY the next morning the curate and his friend Master Nicholas, the barber, went to Don Quixote's house to settle their grievance with the cause of all the mischief—the books of their demented friend. The curate asked the niece for the keys to the library, and she was only too willing to let him have them. They all went in, followed by the housekeeper, who grew faint-hearted as soon as she caught sight of all the beautifully bound books in the room. She ran out as if beset, returning immediately with a bowl of holy water and a sprinkler, with which she implored the curate to sprinkle the room, so that none of the magicians who might come out of the books would be left to bewitch her.

EARLY the next morning, the curate and his friend Master Nicholas, the barber, went to Don Quixote's house to address their issue with the source of all the trouble — the books belonging to their delusional friend. The curate asked the niece for the keys to the library, and she was more than happy to give them to him. They all went inside, followed by the housekeeper, who felt uneasy as soon as she saw all the beautifully bound books in the room. She scurried out as if frightened, quickly returning with a bowl of holy water and a sprayer, begging the curate to sprinkle the room so that none of the magicians emerging from the books could cast their spells on her.

She was afraid that their ghosts might survive and bother her in revenge for having instigated their banishment from this world.

She was afraid that their ghosts might linger on and haunt her out of revenge for having caused their banishment from this world.

The curate was amused by the housekeeper's fear. He asked the barber to give him the books one by one, as he was afraid that among the many there must be some innocent ones which did not deserve the penalty of death. But both the niece and the housekeeper made emphatic [Pg 23] and vociferous remonstrances against such leniency and insisted that a bonfire be made in the courtyard for all of them. Now, the barber had a particular leaning toward poetry, and he thought that such volumes ought to escape the stake; but he was promptly overruled by the conclusions of the niece, who reasoned that enough harm had already been done by books. "Your worship," she pleaded with the curate, "had best burn them all; for if my uncle, having been cured of his craze for chivalry, should take to reading these pastoral poems, he might take a fancy to become a shepherd and stroll the woods and pastures, singing and piping. What would be still worse, however, would be his turning poet; for that, they say, is both an incurable and infectious malady."

The curate found the housekeeper's fear amusing. He asked the barber to hand him the books one by one because he worried that among the many there might be some innocent ones that didn’t deserve to be destroyed. However, both the niece and the housekeeper strongly protested against such leniency and insisted that a bonfire be made in the courtyard for all of them. The barber had a particular fondness for poetry and believed that those volumes should be spared from the flames; but he was quickly overruled by the niece’s reasoning, which pointed out that enough damage had already been caused by books. "Your worship," she urged the curate, "it’s best to burn them all; because if my uncle, having been cured of his obsession with chivalry, starts reading these pastoral poems, he might decide to become a shepherd and wander the woods and pastures, singing and playing music. What would be even worse is if he took up poetry; they say that’s both an incurable and contagious condition."

Against such logic, strongly supported by the housekeeper, the arguments of the two men came to nothing; and the barber saw his favorite form of literature thrust into the heap that was being prepared in the yard for illumination. Only a few books were saved from this fate, and they only through the boldness of the curate and the barber together against the united efforts of the female members of the party. There was one volume in particular, called "The Tears of Angelica," which the curate fought for valiantly. "I should have shed tears myself," he said, "had I seen that book burn." [Pg 24]

Against such reasoning, strongly backed by the housekeeper, the arguments of the two men went nowhere; and the barber saw his beloved literature tossed into the pile being prepared in the yard for burning. Only a few books were rescued from this fate, and only because of the bravery of the curate and the barber working together against the combined efforts of the women in the group. One book in particular, titled "The Tears of Angelica," was fiercely defended by the curate. "I would have cried myself," he said, "if I had seen that book go up in flames." [Pg 24]


CHAPTER VII

Of the Second Sally of Our Worthy Knight, Don Quixote of La Mancha

WHILE the curate was praising the merits of "The Tears of Angelica," there was suddenly a tremendous outcry and noise from Don Quixote's bedroom. They hastened to see what was the matter, and when they reached his room they found him out of bed, sword in hand, cutting and slashing all around him, raving and shouting, with perspiration dripping from his body. He imagined that he was keeping at a distance several bold and daring warriors, and he kept exclaiming that the envious Don Roland had battered him with the trunk of an oak-tree because of his illustrious achievements in chivalry. They finally succeeded in forcibly putting him to bed, having wiped away the perspiration—which he insisted was blood. He then asked for something to eat; and when it was brought he fell asleep again.

WHILE the curate was praising the merits of "The Tears of Angelica," there was suddenly a huge commotion coming from Don Quixote's bedroom. They rushed to see what was going on, and when they entered his room, they found him out of bed, sword in hand, swinging it around wildly, shouting and ranting, with sweat dripping from his body. He believed he was fending off several brave and fierce warriors, and he kept shouting that the jealous Don Roland had attacked him with an oak tree because of his remarkable feats in chivalry. They finally managed to force him back into bed, having wiped away the sweat—which he insisted was blood. He then asked for something to eat; and when it was brought to him, he fell asleep again.

After the housekeeper had burned up all the books that were in the house, the curate and the barber thought it best to safeguard themselves against their friend's fury when he should find that his treasures had disappeared. So they decided to wall up and plaster the room where the books had been. Two days later, when Don Quixote got up out of bed, he went to look for his library. And it was nowhere to be found, of course: where the door had been, there was only a wall. He asked his housekeeper where [Pg 25] his books were, as well as the room they had been kept in; but she had been well instructed and blamed it all on the devil. His niece told him that she believed a magician had taken the room away. She had seen him, she declared, come on a cloud, riding on a serpent; and when he had disappeared, the whole house was full of smoke and there was no trace of either room or books. The niece also declared that she had heard the magician say plainly that he was the Sage Munaton.

After the housekeeper had burned all the books in the house, the curate and the barber thought it was best to protect themselves from their friend's anger when he discovered that his treasures were gone. So they decided to brick up and plaster over the room where the books had been. Two days later, when Don Quixote got out of bed, he went to look for his library. And it was nowhere to be found, of course: where the door had been, there was only a wall. He asked his housekeeper where his books were, as well as the room they had been kept in; but she had been well trained and blamed it all on the devil. His niece told him she believed a magician had taken the room away. She claimed she had seen him come on a cloud, riding a serpent; and when he disappeared, the whole house was filled with smoke and there was no sign of either the room or the books. The niece also said she had heard the magician clearly state that he was the Sage Munaton.

The niece's explanation of the magic was heartily approved of by Don Quixote. The only doubt he expressed was about the identity of the magician. "He must have said Friston," he insisted. The housekeeper here came to the niece's aid and stated that she did not know whether he had said "Friston" or "Friton" or what he had said; but one thing she was sure of was that his name ended with "ton."

The niece's explanation of the magic was warmly approved by Don Quixote. The only doubt he expressed was about the magician's identity. "He must have said Friston," he insisted. The housekeeper then came to the niece's defense and said she wasn’t sure if he had said "Friston" or "Friton" or what he had said; but one thing she was sure of was that his name ended with "ton."

This convinced Don Quixote that it was no other than the Sage Munaton, a great enemy of his, whose vanity could not tolerate the prophecies that Don Quixote was about to conquer in battle a certain knight whom Munaton had befriended.

This convinced Don Quixote that it was none other than the Sage Munaton, a great enemy of his, whose vanity couldn't stand the prophecies that Don Quixote was about to defeat in battle a certain knight that Munaton had befriended.

After this our worthy knight stuck to his house and home for a fortnight. His two gossiping friends, the curate and the village barber, did everything in their power to divert his thoughts from his fixed idea of a revival of the days of knighthood and chivalry. But the fire in Don Quixote's breast was smouldering: it was an undying flame.

After this, our noble knight stayed at home for two weeks. His two chatty friends, the curate and the village barber, did everything they could to distract him from his obsession with the return of the days of knighthood and chivalry. But the fire in Don Quixote's heart was still burning: it was an everlasting flame.

Near Don Quixote there lived a man by the name of Sancho Panza. He was a farm-hand—a poor but honest [Pg 26] fellow who had both wife and children. Sancho Panza was not overburdened with thoughts derived from reading books of chivalry—the simple facts being that he could neither read nor write—nor, for that matter, with thoughts of any other kind on any other subject, for while Don Quixote had lost his wits, Sancho had never had any.

Near Don Quixote, there lived a man named Sancho Panza. He was a farm worker—a poor but honest guy who had both a wife and kids. Sancho Panza wasn't weighed down with thoughts from reading chivalric novels—the simple truth was that he could neither read nor write—nor, for that matter, with thoughts about anything else, since while Don Quixote had lost his mind, Sancho had never had one to begin with.

To this poor fellow Don Quixote would talk of his adventures by the hour, trying to persuade Sancho that he was missing much romance by remaining a farm-hand all his life and that he ought to become the squire of some noble knight—for instance, himself. And so, after much persuasion and many promises, Sancho Panza decided to adopt his noble neighbor as his master. He was told that he must provide himself with all the necessaries for such an important and lofty position; and he assured his master that he would bring along his very best donkey. The mention of this ignoble animal somewhat took the knight aback. He ransacked his memory for any instance in which any other mount than a horse had been used, but he could recall none. However, he could not very well have an attendant on foot, so he decided to take him along, mounted on his donkey. Of course, there was no doubt in his mind that an opportunity would present itself ere long to appropriate the horse of some rebellious knight.

To this poor guy, Don Quixote would spend hours talking about his adventures, trying to convince Sancho that he was missing out on a lot of excitement by sticking to being a farmer his whole life and that he should become the squire of some noble knight—like himself. So, after a lot of convincing and numerous promises, Sancho Panza decided to take on his noble neighbor as his master. He was told that he had to get all the essentials for such an important position, and he assured his master that he would bring his very best donkey. The mention of this unimpressive animal caught the knight off guard. He searched his memory for any instance where a mount that wasn't a horse was used, but he couldn't think of any. However, he couldn't have a squire walking, so he decided to take him along on his donkey. Of course, he was certain that an opportunity would soon arise to seize the horse of some rebellious knight.

One night the two sallied forth from the village, unseen. Sancho Panza sat on his donkey, a picture of grave joviality, already seeing himself the governor of some conquered island. Don Quixote was taking the same road he took on his first campaign, the road that led over the Campo de Montiel. [Pg 27]

One night, the two sneaked out of the village without being noticed. Sancho Panza sat on his donkey, looking both serious and cheerful, already imagining himself as the governor of some conquered island. Don Quixote was on the same path he took during his first adventure, the road that went over the Campo de Montiel. [Pg 27]


CHAPTERS VIII-IX

Of the Good Fortune Which the Valiant Don Quixote Had in the Terrible and Undreamt-of Adventure of the Windmills, with Other Occurrences Worthy to Be Fitly Recorded, Including the Terrible Battle Between The Gallant Biscayan and The Valiant Manchegan

WHEN they had traveled a few miles they suddenly saw thirty or forty windmills scattered over a plain. Don Quixote pulled in his horse, his eyes staring out of their sockets.

WHEN they had traveled a few miles, they suddenly saw thirty or forty windmills spread across a plain. Don Quixote reined in his horse, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"Look, friend Sancho Panza!" he exclaimed. "Thirty or more monstrous giants present themselves! I mean to engage them all in battle and slay them; for this is righteous warfare. It is serving God to sweep so evil a breed from off the face of the earth!"

"Look, my friend Sancho Panza!" he shouted. "There are thirty or more terrifying giants out there! I'm going to fight them all and take them down because this is a just cause. It's serving God to wipe such a wicked breed off the face of the earth!"

"What giants?" asked Sancho curiously.

"What giants?" Sancho asked curiously.

"Those with the long arms," replied Don Quixote.

"Those with the long arms," replied Don Quixote.

"But, your worship," said Sancho, "those are not giants but windmills, and what seem to be their arms are the sails that make the millstones go."

"But, your honor," said Sancho, "those aren't giants but windmills, and what look like their arms are the sails that turn the millstones."

Hearing his squire make such a foolish remark, Don Quixote could not quite make up his mind whether it was through ignorance, inexperience in the pursuit of adventure, or cowardice, that he spoke like that. So he suggested Sancho would better stay away and pray while he, Don Quixote, fought the giants single-handed. The honor [Pg 28] of conquering in such an unequal combat would be so much greater for him, he thought, if he won victory all by himself.

Hearing his squire say something so foolish, Don Quixote couldn't decide if it was because of ignorance, a lack of experience in seeking adventures, or cowardice that he spoke like that. So, he suggested that Sancho would be better off staying behind and praying while he, Don Quixote, fought the giants all by himself. He thought the honor of winning in such an unfair fight would be much greater for him if he achieved victory on his own. The honor [Pg 28] of conquering in such an unequal combat would be so much greater for him, he thought, if he won victory all by himself.

Don Quixote made ready for the attack by commending himself to his Lady Dulcinea, and then he gave the spur to Rocinante in spite of the pleas and outcries of Sancho Panza. Just at this moment a breeze began to blow and the sails of the windmills commenced to move. The knight charged at his hack's fullest gallop, drove his spear with such force into one of the sails that the spear was shattered to pieces while the poor knight fell over the pommel of his saddle, head over heels in the air, and Rocinante fell stunned to the ground. There they rolled together on the plain, in a battered and bruised condition.

Don Quixote got ready for the attack by asking for the favor of his Lady Dulcinea, and then he urged Rocinante forward, ignoring Sancho Panza's pleas and shouts. Just then, a breeze started to blow, and the sails of the windmills began to move. The knight charged at full speed, driving his spear with such force into one of the sails that it shattered, sending him flying over the pommel of his saddle, flipping in the air, while Rocinante collapsed, stunned, to the ground. They both tumbled together on the plain, battered and bruised.

Sancho hurried to his master's side as fast as his donkey could carry him. He was worried beyond words, for he expected to find Don Quixote well nigh dead, and he was not bent on giving up all hopes of governing an island, at so early a stage. The misguided knight was unable to move. Nevertheless Sancho Panza could not resist the impulse to reprimand his master. "Did I not tell your worship so!" he admonished. But Don Quixote would hear nothing, answering in a sportsmanlike fashion:

Sancho rushed to his master's side as fast as his donkey could go. He was extremely worried because he expected to find Don Quixote nearly dead, and he wasn't ready to give up all hopes of ruling an island so soon. The misguided knight couldn’t move. However, Sancho Panza couldn’t help but scold his master. "Didn’t I tell you!" he said. But Don Quixote wouldn't hear it, responding in a playful manner:

"Hush, friend Sancho! The fortunes of war fluctuate, that's all." And then he added his suspicion that the same Sage Friston, the magician who had carried off his room of books, had turned the giants into windmills so that he would be unable to boast of having conquered them—all out of sheer envy and thirst for vengeance. What he most bewailed, however, was the loss of his lance. [Pg 29]

"Hush, friend Sancho! The fortunes of war change, that's all." And then he added his suspicion that the same Sage Friston, the magician who had taken his library, had transformed the giants into windmills so that he couldn't brag about defeating them—all out of sheer jealousy and a desire for revenge. What he mourned the most, though, was the loss of his lance. [Pg 29]

With much difficulty Sancho succeeded in placing Don Quixote on his horse, and they proceeded on their way, following the road to Puerto Lapice. All the while Don Quixote was scanning the woods along the roadside for the branch of an oak-tree that he would deem a worthy substitute for his departed spear. It seemed to him as if he had read somewhere in one of his books that some knight had done such a thing in an emergency.

With a lot of effort, Sancho managed to get Don Quixote on his horse, and they continued on their journey, heading toward Puerto Lapice. During the ride, Don Quixote was looking at the trees along the road, searching for a branch from an oak that he could use as a suitable replacement for his lost spear. He recalled reading somewhere in one of his books that a knight had done something similar in a pinch.

Having reminded Don Quixote that he must sit straight in the saddle, Sancho was in turn reminded by an inner feeling that it was time to eat. His master, however, scorned this idea, and let Sancho indulge by himself, while he fasted.

Having reminded Don Quixote to sit up straight in the saddle, Sancho was, in turn, nudged by a feeling inside that it was time to eat. However, his master looked down on this idea and allowed Sancho to indulge on his own while he went without food.

Finally night fell, and they passed it in the woods. There Don Quixote chose at last the branch of an oak-tree that was to serve him as a spear, and to one of its ends he attached the head of his broken lance. All night long he lay looking up into the sky, visioning his sweet Dulcinea—all for the purpose of emulating other heroes of the past age of chivalry who could not sleep for thinking of their lady loves.

Finally, night fell, and they spent it in the woods. There, Don Quixote finally picked a branch from an oak tree to use as a spear, and he attached the head of his broken lance to one end. All night long, he lay looking up at the sky, dreaming of his sweet Dulcinea—all to emulate other heroes from the past age of chivalry who couldn’t sleep because they were thinking of their ladies.

Sancho Panza, unluckily, was stimulated in no such blessed way. He was supported by no sweet dreams of any beloved one of his. As for his wife, he had forgotten all about her. But as a matter of truth he had no memory of anything, having absorbed too much fluid out of his leather wine-bag, or bota, as it is called in Spanish. On getting up in the morning Sancho Panza was grieved to find the contents of his bota decidedly diminished.

Sancho Panza, unfortunately, wasn’t inspired in any such fortunate way. He had no comforting dreams of any loved ones. As for his wife, he had completely forgotten about her. The truth is, he had no memory of anything at all, having drunk too much from his leather wine bag, or bota, as it’s called in Spanish. When he got up in the morning, Sancho Panza was disheartened to find that the contents of his bota had significantly decreased.

[Pg 30] Don Quixote bravely maintained his self-inflicted hunger and swallowed his appetite by thoughts of his past valiant deeds. They soon started out, and again took the road leading to Puerto Lapice, whose outlines they sighted in the afternoon. Don Quixote thought this an opportune time for addressing his squire on the etiquette and laws of knighthood, as they were now approaching a very hotbed of adventure.

[Pg 30] Don Quixote stubbornly endured his self-imposed hunger and kept his spirits up by reminiscing about his past brave deeds. They set off again and soon spotted the outlines of Puerto Lapice in the afternoon. Don Quixote considered this the perfect moment to talk to his squire about the etiquette and rules of knighthood, as they were getting close to a major source of adventure.

"Under no pretext," he admonished the faithful one, "must thou put a hand to thy sword in my defense unless it be that I am attacked by mere rabble or base folk; in such case, thou art in duty bound to be my bodyguard. But if my assailants be knights, thou must in no way interfere until thou hast been dubbed a knight thyself."

"Under no circumstances," he warned the faithful one, "should you take up your sword in my defense unless I'm being attacked by common thugs or lowly people; in that case, you are obligated to be my bodyguard. But if my attackers are knights, you must not interfere until you have been knighted yourself."

Sancho promised to obey his master as nearly as his human nature permitted him. He declared that he liked peace and hated strife, yet, if he were assailed, he did not believe in turning the other cheek more than once. Don Quixote saw a certain amount of reason in this; still, he asked his squire to do his utmost to restrain himself against any such rash impulse in the case of members of the knighthood. And Sancho Panza swore that he would keep this precept as religiously as Sunday.

Sancho promised to follow his master as closely as he could. He said he liked peace and hated conflict, but if someone attacked him, he didn’t believe in turning the other cheek more than once. Don Quixote found some logic in this; still, he asked his squire to do his best to hold back any rash impulses when it came to members of the knighthood. And Sancho Panza swore he would stick to this rule as faithfully as he would on a Sunday.

While our noble knight was thus instructing his squire, there appeared on the road two friars of the order of St. Benedict. They were riding mules; and behind them came a coach with an escort numbering nearly half a dozen men on horseback and two men on foot. In the coach, traveling in state, was a lady of Biscay, on her way to Seville.

While our noble knight was instructing his squire, two friars from the order of St. Benedict appeared on the road. They were riding mules, and behind them came a coach escorted by nearly six men on horseback and two men on foot. Inside the coach, traveling in style, was a lady from Biscay, on her way to Seville.

What could this be except a plot of scheming magicians [Pg 31] to steal away some princess? The friars, innocently traveling by themselves, became in Don Quixote's eyes a pair of evil magicians, and in his thirst for adventure the nearer one assumed stupendous proportions.

What else could this be but a scheme by tricky magicians [Pg 31] to kidnap a princess? The monks, just traveling alone, turned into a pair of wicked magicians in Don Quixote's mind, and in his hunger for adventure, the closer one loomed large.

"This will be worse than the windmills!" sighed Sancho, who tried in vain to convince his master of the facts in the case.

"This will be worse than the windmills!" Sancho sighed, trying unsuccessfully to convince his master of the reality of the situation.

But Don Quixote cut him short. "Thou knowest nothing of adventures," he said; and that settled it.

But Don Quixote interrupted him. "You don't know anything about adventures," he said; and that was the end of it.

Boldly the knight went forward and took position in the middle of the road.

Boldly, the knight stepped forward and stood in the middle of the road.

"Devilish and unnatural beings!" he cried in a loud voice, "release instantly the high-born princess whom you are carrying off by force in this coach, else prepare to meet a speedy death as the just punishment of your evil deeds!"

"Devilish and unnatural beings!" he shouted loudly, "let go of the noble princess you’re forcibly taking in this carriage right now, or be ready to face a quick death as punishment for your evil actions!"

The mules came to a standstill, their ears erect with astonishment at such a figure, and the friars gaped in wonder. At last they recovered sufficiently to declare that they were traveling quite by themselves, and had no knowledge of the identity of the travelers following behind them.

The mules stopped, their ears perked up in surprise at such a sight, and the friars stared in amazement. Eventually, they gathered themselves enough to say that they were traveling alone and had no idea who the travelers were that were following them.

To their meek reply Don Quixote paid no heed, but bellowed forth furiously: "No soft words with me! I know you, you lying rabble!" And with his spurs in Rocinante and his lance lifted he rode against the two friars like a whirlwind, so that if one of them had not quickly thrust himself off his mule, he would certainly have been torn to shreds. The other one saved his skin by setting off across the country at a speed rivaling our hero's charge.

To their quiet response, Don Quixote ignored them and shouted angrily: "No soft talk with me! I know you, you deceitful crowd!" With his spurs digging into Rocinante and his lance raised, he charged at the two friars like a tornado, so that if one of them hadn't quickly jumped off his mule, he would have been completely destroyed. The other one saved himself by fleeing across the land as fast as our hero was charging.

[Pg 32] At this stage Sancho Panza began to realize the full extent of his position as squire to a successful knight. Over by the roadside he saw the first friar lying breathless on the ground as a result of his jumping off his mule in such amazing hurry. He proceeded to strip off the friar's gown, using as a moral for doing this his own thoughts on the subject. He reasoned that if he could not share in the honors of battle, he at least ought to share in the spoils.

[Pg 32] At this point, Sancho Panza started to understand the full implication of being a squire to a victorious knight. He saw the first friar collapsed on the ground by the roadside, breathless from jumping off his mule in such a hurry. He decided to take off the friar's gown, justifying it with his own thoughts on the matter. He figured that if he couldn’t partake in the glory of battle, he should at least benefit from the spoils.

He was intercepted by some of the men attending the carriage. Unfortunately, they were serious-minded men, and they failed to see the joke. Sancho Panza gave them his views on etiquette pertaining to such matters as these; but it would have been much better for him had he not, for the men set upon him with great fury, beating and kicking him until he was insensible. They left him lying on the ground and then helped the pale and trembling friar to mount his mule. As soon as he was in the saddle, he hastened to join his companion, and the two of them continued their journey, making more crosses than they would if the devil had pursued them.

He was stopped by some of the men around the carriage. Unfortunately, they were serious and didn’t get the joke. Sancho Panza shared his thoughts on etiquette for situations like this, but it would have been better for him if he hadn’t, because the men attacked him with great anger, beating and kicking him until he was knocked out. They left him on the ground and then helped the pale and shaking friar onto his mule. As soon as he was in the saddle, he hurried to catch up with his companion, and the two of them continued their journey, making more crosses than they would if the devil were chasing them.

In the meantime Don Quixote had been trying to persuade the fair occupant of the coach to return to El Toboso that she herself might relate to his beloved Dulcinea the strange adventure from which he had delivered her.

In the meantime, Don Quixote had been trying to convince the lovely passenger of the coach to go back to El Toboso so that she could tell his beloved Dulcinea about the strange adventure he had rescued her from.

A Biscayan gentleman, who was one of her attendants and rode a hired mule, took offense at his insistence to bother her, and a fight was soon in progress. The Biscayan had no shield, so he snatched a cushion from the carriage and used it to defend himself. The engagement was a most heated one, and Don Quixote lost a piece of his ear early in the combat. This enraged him beyond [Pg 33] words; he charged his adversary with such tremendous force and fury that he began to bleed from his mouth, his nose, and his ears. Had the Biscayan not embraced the neck of his mount, he would have been spilled on the ground immediately. It remained for his mule to complete the damage, and when the animal suddenly set off across the plain in great fright, the rider plunged headlong to the ground.

A Biscayan gentleman, who was one of her attendants and rode a rented mule, got upset with his insistence on bothering her, and a fight quickly broke out. The Biscayan didn’t have a shield, so he grabbed a cushion from the carriage to defend himself. The fight was intense, and Don Quixote lost part of his ear early on. This infuriated him; he charged at his opponent with such incredible force and anger that he started to bleed from his mouth, nose, and ears. If the Biscayan hadn't clung to the neck of his mule, he would have fallen to the ground right away. It was left to his mule to cause more chaos, and when the animal suddenly bolted across the field in fear, the rider fell headfirst to the ground.

Seeing this, Don Quixote hastened to the man's side and bade him surrender, at the penalty of having his head cut off. Absolutely bewildered, the gentleman from Biscay could say nothing; and had it not been for the ladies in the coach who interceded with prayers for his life, the Biscayan might have been beheaded right then and there. Don Quixote finally agreed to spare his opponent's life on one condition: that he present himself before the matchless Lady Dulcinea in the village of El Toboso, and it would be for her to determine his punishment. The ladies having promised that their protector should do anything and everything that might be asked of him, our hero from La Mancha said that he would harm the gentleman no more.

Seeing this, Don Quixote rushed over to the man's side and demanded that he surrender, threatening to cut off his head if he didn’t. Completely confused, the gentleman from Biscay couldn’t say a word; and if it hadn’t been for the ladies in the coach pleading for his life, the Biscayan might have been executed right then and there. Don Quixote finally agreed to spare his opponent’s life on one condition: that he would go to the extraordinary Lady Dulcinea in the village of El Toboso, and it would be up to her to decide his punishment. The ladies promised that their protector would do whatever she asked, so our hero from La Mancha said he would not harm the gentleman any further.


CHAPTER X

Of the Pleasant Discourse that Passed between Don Quixote and His Squire Sancho Panza

WHEN Sancho Panza had regained consciousness, he saw his master again engaged in battle. He thought that the best thing he could do was to pray, at a [Pg 34] distance, for victory; and so he did. Soon he saw Don Quixote emerge from the struggle as victor! Overcome by emotion and gratitude to God, he ran to his master's side and fell on his knees before him. He kissed his hand, then helped him to mount his steed. All the while he did not forget the island of which Don Quixote had promised him he should become governor. He expectantly reminded his master of it now, and Don Quixote said to him that if things continued to go as they had gone, there would be even greater honors in store for him; perhaps he would become a king or an emperor, even.

WHEN Sancho Panza regained consciousness, he saw his master battling once again. He figured that the best thing to do was to pray, from a distance, for victory; and so he did. Before long, he saw Don Quixote come out of the fight victorious! Overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude to God, he rushed to his master's side and fell to his knees before him. He kissed his hand and then helped him onto his horse. Throughout all of this, he didn’t forget about the island that Don Quixote had promised would make him governor. He eagerly reminded his master about it now, and Don Quixote told him that if things continued as they had been, even greater honors awaited him; maybe he would become a king or an emperor, even.

Much satisfied with this prospect, Sancho lifted himself up into the saddle and trotted after his master, who was galloping ahead at a wild pace. Sancho, seeing him disappear in a wood nearby, steered his ass in the same direction. He yelled to him in a loud voice, begging him to stop.

Much pleased with this prospect, Sancho climbed into the saddle and trotted after his master, who was racing ahead at a crazy speed. Sancho, watching him vanish into a nearby forest, directed his donkey in the same direction. He shouted to him loudly, asking him to stop.

At last our knight condescended to hear his tired squire, and waited until Sancho caught up with him. Sancho ventured to suggest that they hide in some church, for he was afraid that by this time the friars had reported the happening to the Holy Brotherhood; but his master only laughed at his simplicity and fear; and finally Sancho had to admit that he never in his life had served so brave and valiant a knight. However, he begged his master not to overlook his bleeding ear, and gave him some ointment to apply to the wound. It was only after a long discourse on the merits of the strange balsam of Fierabras, which possessed the enchanted quality of healing bodies cut in [Pg 35] twain—he particularly dwelt upon the necessity of fitting the two separated halves evenly and exactly—that Don Quixote deigned to apply Sancho's ointment. In doing so he lamented the absence of the famous balsam.

At last, our knight agreed to listen to his tired squire and waited until Sancho caught up with him. Sancho suggested they hide in a church because he was afraid the friars had reported what happened to the Holy Brotherhood; but his master only laughed at his naivety and fear. Eventually, Sancho had to admit he had never served such a brave and valiant knight in his life. Still, he pleaded with his master not to neglect his bleeding ear and offered him some ointment for the wound. Only after a long discussion about the amazing balsam of Fierabras, which had the magical ability to heal bodies split in half—he stressed the importance of aligning the two halves perfectly—that Don Quixote finally agreed to use Sancho's ointment. In doing so, he expressed his regret over the lack of the famous balsam.

Now, Sancho Panza saw untold possibilities for making money out of such a remarkable remedy as this balsam. He was even willing to relinquish his rights to any throne in its favor. So what interested him more than anything else was the recipe for making it. But his master told him that he would teach him even greater secrets when the time came, and suddenly changed the subject by cursing the Biscayan, of whom he had just been reminded by a twinge in his bleeding ear. The sight of his shattered helmet brought the climax to his anger, and he swore by the creator and all the four gospels to avenge himself. When Sancho heard this, he reminded his knight of his solemn oath to the ladies. Had he not promised them to refer the Biscayan's punishment to the court of his Dulcinea? Being thus reminded by his squire, Don Quixote nobly declared his oath null and void, and commended Sancho Panza for unknowingly having made him conform with the customs of chivalry.

Now, Sancho Panza saw endless opportunities to make money from such an incredible remedy like this balsam. He was even ready to give up any claim to a throne for it. What he was most interested in, though, was the recipe for making it. But his master told him that he would share even greater secrets when the time was right and suddenly switched topics by cursing the Biscayan, who had just come to mind because of a sting in his bleeding ear. The sight of his broken helmet pushed him over the edge, and he swore by the Creator and all four gospels to take revenge. When Sancho heard this, he reminded his knight of his promise to the ladies. Hadn’t he vowed to leave the Biscayan’s punishment to the court of his Dulcinea? So, reminded by his squire, Don Quixote nobly declared his oath null and void and praised Sancho Panza for unknowingly helping him stick to the principles of chivalry.

Then he repeated his vows of knighthood and swore to capture from some other knight a helmet as good as his own. Sancho, by this time, was beginning to wonder whether so many oaths might not be injurious to Don Quixote's salvation. He suggested, for instance, the possibility of meeting with no one wearing a helmet, and asked what his master intended to do to keep his oath in [Pg 36] such a case. Don Quixote assured him that they would soon encounter more men in armor than came to Albraca to win the fair Angelica.

Then he repeated his knightly vows and promised to take a helmet from another knight as good as his own. By this time, Sancho was starting to wonder if all these oaths might be harmful to Don Quixote's salvation. He suggested, for example, that they might not run into anyone wearing a helmet, and asked what his master planned to do to keep his word in [Pg 36] that situation. Don Quixote assured him they would soon meet more armored men than those who came to Albraca to win the beautiful Angelica.

Unwittingly Sancho's thoughts went back to his favorite unconquered island, and again his master admonished him to feel no uneasiness on that score. He even bettered his chances, explaining that if the island should disappear or for some reason be out of the question, there were countless other realms to be considered. He mentioned the kingdoms of Denmark and Sobradisa as some of them, and added that these possessed advantages that no island had. These were on the mainland and did not have to be reached by boat or by swimming.

Unintentionally, Sancho's thoughts drifted back to his favorite unconquered island, and once again, his master urged him not to worry about that. He even improved his chances by explaining that if the island vanished or became impossible for some reason, there were plenty of other lands to think about. He brought up the kingdoms of Denmark and Sobradisa as examples and noted that they had benefits that no island did. These were on the mainland and didn't require traveling by boat or swimming.

Now Don Quixote was beginning to feel hungry, and he asked Sancho Panza to give him some food out of his alforjas. Sancho made apologies for having nothing but onions, cheese, and a few crusts of bread to offer such a valiant knight, but Don Quixote explained that one of the glories of knighthood was self-denial: many a knight had been known to go without food for a month at a time. However, he thought it advisable for Sancho to gather dry fruits from time to time as a safeguard against overwhelming hunger. Sancho feared that his appetite might crave food of a more substantial kind, and added that he would garnish his meals with some poultry. His master made no direct remonstrance to this assertion of his squire, but presumed that not all knights at all times lived on dry fruit.

Now Don Quixote was starting to feel hungry, so he asked Sancho Panza to give him some food from his alforjas. Sancho apologized for having only onions, cheese, and a few crusts of bread to offer such a brave knight, but Don Quixote explained that one of the great things about being a knight was self-denial: many knights had been known to go without food for an entire month. However, he thought it would be wise for Sancho to gather dried fruits occasionally as a backup against extreme hunger. Sancho worried that his appetite might want something more filling, and added that he would include some poultry in his meals. His master didn’t directly argue with this statement from his squire but assumed that not all knights at all times lived on dried fruit.

As soon as they had finished their repast, they mounted and continued their way, anxious to find some inhabited [Pg 37] place before nightfall. When it had grown dark, they found themselves near the huts of some goatherds, and Don Quixote decided that they should spend the night there. Sancho had hoped that they would find some house where he could have a comfortable bed; but his master was pleased to sleep once more in the open. Each act of self-denial made him a more honored and more valuable member of the knighthood.

As soon as they finished eating, they got on their horses and carried on, eager to find a place with people before night fell. When it got dark, they came across some goatherds' huts, and Don Quixote decided they should spend the night there. Sancho had hoped they would find a house where he could sleep in a comfy bed; instead, his master was happy to sleep outside again. Every act of self-denial made him a more respected and valuable knight.


CHAPTER XI

Of What Befell Don Quixote with Certain Goatherds

THE goatherds were cordial in their greeting to our knight and his squire, and invited them to partake of their meal, which was just being served on a tablecloth of sheepskin spread on the ground. Don Quixote was given a seat of honor on a trough turned upside down. Sancho remained standing to serve him, but his master insisted upon his coming down to his level. To this Sancho objected. He said that he could enjoy his food much better in a corner by himself, where he could chew it as he pleased, without having to take into consideration the formalities inflicted by the presence of one so much above his own state as his worthy master. He called his master's attention to the fact that in company like this, a humble servant like himself would have to suppress all such inclinations as sneezing, coughing and other natural outbursts, and, worst of all, drinking to his heart's content. But [Pg 38] Don Quixote would listen to no arguments and seated him by force at his side.

THE goatherds were friendly when they greeted our knight and his squire and invited them to join their meal, which was being served on a sheepskin tablecloth laid out on the ground. Don Quixote was given a place of honor on an overturned trough. Sancho remained standing to serve him, but his master insisted that he sit down beside him. Sancho disagreed, saying he would enjoy his food much more in a corner by himself, where he could eat at his own pace without worrying about the formalities required in the presence of someone of such a higher status as his esteemed master. He pointed out that in company like this, a lowly servant like him would need to stifle all urges like sneezing, coughing, and other natural habits, and worst of all, drinking as much as he wanted. But [Pg 38] Don Quixote wouldn’t hear any arguments and firmly forced him to sit next to him.

All the while the goatherds were marveling at our knight's bombastic speech and flourishing manners, and their interest was only enhanced when Don Quixote suddenly commenced a vast and poetic discourse on the golden age of the past. Some parched acorns he had just eaten had served him as a reminder and this in turn as an inspiration.

All the while the goatherds were amazed by our knight's grand speech and showy behavior, and their curiosity grew even more when Don Quixote suddenly began a grand and poetic talk about the golden age of the past. Some dry acorns he had just eaten reminded him of this and inspired his words.

Sancho took advantage of his master's long speech by paying numerous visits to the leather wine-bag, which had been suspended from a cork-tree in order to keep the wine cool.

Sancho seized the opportunity during his master's lengthy speech by making several trips to the leather wine pouch, which had been hung from an oak tree to keep the wine cool.

Hardly had Don Quixote finished his discourse when the sound of music was heard in the distance, and soon a good-looking youth of twenty appeared, playing a lute. At the goatherds' request he sang a ballad of love, which was much favored by Don Quixote. Sancho Panza, however, felt the necessity for sleep and slyly suggested consideration on his master's part for the men, who no doubt had to rise with the sun and attend to their labors. This appeal did not fail to move Don Quixote, especially since his ear again began to trouble him with pain. One of the goatherds offered his help. He plucked some leaves of rosemary, put them in his mouth and chewed them well, then mixed them with a pinch of salt and put them as a plaster over the wounded ear, safely attaching it with a bandage. As he had predicted, this proved to be an excellent treatment. [Pg 39]

Hardly had Don Quixote finished his speech when music was heard in the distance, and soon a handsome twenty-year-old appeared, playing a lute. At the goatherds' request, he sang a love ballad, which Don Quixote really enjoyed. However, Sancho Panza felt the need for sleep and slyly suggested that his master should consider the men, who probably had to get up with the sun and get to work. This plea moved Don Quixote, especially since his ear was starting to hurt again. One of the goatherds offered to help. He picked some rosemary leaves, chewed them well, mixed them with a pinch of salt, and applied the mixture as a poultice to the injured ear, securing it with a bandage. As he had predicted, this turned out to be an excellent treatment. [Pg 39]


CHAPTER XII

Of What a Goatherd Related to Those with Don Quixote

JUST as Don Quixote was about to retire for the night, a young man from the village came to the hut and informed the goatherds of the death of a famous villager named Crysostom. The youth said there was a rumor that Crysostom—who had been a student and had turned shepherd—had died of a broken heart, for love of the daughter of Guillermo the Rich. In his will he had directed that he desired to be buried, like a Moor, at the very place where he first saw her, at the foot of a rock by a spring in the fields. The clergy of the village had been aroused by this and other directions in the will, which they considered smacked of heathenism, and objected to the carrying out of the will. Ambrosio, the bosom friend of Crysostom—and a student who had also become a shepherd—started an opposition to the clergy, and was determined that his dead friend's will should be done. The young man said that the whole village was in an uproar, and he was looking forward to interesting events in the morning, when the burial was to take place.

JUST as Don Quixote was about to go to bed for the night, a young man from the village came to the hut and told the goatherds about the death of a well-known villager named Crysostom. The young man said there was a rumor that Crysostom—who had been a student and then became a shepherd—had died of a broken heart from loving the daughter of Guillermo the Rich. In his will, he had stated that he wanted to be buried like a Moor, at the exact spot where he first saw her, at the foot of a rock by a spring in the fields. The village clergy had been stirred up by this and other details in the will, which they thought were unchristian, and they opposed fulfilling the will. Ambrosio, Crysostom's closest friend—and a student who had also become a shepherd—started a movement against the clergy, determined to honor his friend's wishes. The young man mentioned that the whole village was in chaos, and he was looking forward to the interesting events in the morning when the burial was set to happen.

Don Quixote was eager to learn something of the maiden for whose sake Ambrosio's friend had died. One of the goatherds, named Pedro, related to him all that he knew. [Pg 40]

Don Quixote was curious to find out more about the maiden for whom Ambrosio's friend had died. One of the goatherds, named Pedro, shared everything he knew with him. [Pg 40]

The parents of Marcela—for that was the maiden's name—and of Crysostom were very rich people, although they were farmers. Marcela's father and mother died when she was a baby, and she was brought up under the care of her uncle, a priest in the village. As she grew up, her beauty was increased with each day that passed, and her uncle had many offers for her hand in marriage; but she would hear of none of them. One day, to the consternation of all in the village, she appeared dressed in the costume of a shepherdess, and declared her intention of turning to that kind of life.

The parents of Marcela—who was the young woman's name—and of Crysostom were very wealthy, even though they were farmers. Marcela's father and mother passed away when she was just a baby, and she was raised by her uncle, a priest in the village. As she grew older, her beauty blossomed more each day, and her uncle received many marriage proposals for her; however, she refused to consider any of them. One day, to everyone's shock in the village, she showed up in shepherdess attire and announced her desire to lead that kind of life.

Just about this time the father of Crysostom died, leaving his great fortune to his son, who had just finished his studies in astrology and other learned subjects in the University of Salamanca. Crysostom returned home together with his friend and companion Ambrosio, and both became very well liked in the village. There Crysostom saw Marcela and fell deeply in love with her, and he, like so many others before him, decided to turn shepherd in order to be near her constantly. But she was indifferent to all talk of love; and the sting of her scorn made him take his life.

Just around this time, Crysostom's father passed away, leaving his substantial fortune to his son, who had just completed his studies in astrology and other academic subjects at the University of Salamanca. Crysostom returned home with his friend and companion Ambrosio, and both quickly became very popular in the village. There, Crysostom met Marcela and fell deeply in love with her. Like so many others before him, he chose to become a shepherd so he could be close to her all the time. However, she was uninterested in any talk of love, and her rejection drove him to take his own life.

Having ended his story, Pedro advised our knight not to miss the ceremonies that Crysostom's shepherd friends were to hold at his grave in the morning. Sancho, who had been greatly annoyed by the goatherd's talkativeness, was by this time beginning to think aloud that it might be time for his master to go to bed; and Pedro begged him to sleep in his hut, as he was afraid that the cold night air might hurt his wound. [Pg 41]

Having finished his story, Pedro told our knight not to miss the ceremonies that Crysostom's shepherd friends would hold at his grave in the morning. Sancho, who was really annoyed by the goatherd's chattiness, was starting to think aloud that it might be time for his master to go to bed; and Pedro asked him to sleep in his hut, as he was worried that the cold night air might aggravate his wound. [Pg 41]

So Don Quixote retired for the night to the bed given him by his hosts, and dreamed all night of his beloved one in his native village, in imitation of other great lovers. Sancho rested, as comfortable and unemotional as a barrel of settled wine, between his master's charger and his own peaceful donkey.

So Don Quixote went to bed for the night in the room his hosts provided, dreaming all night about his beloved from his hometown, just like other great romantics. Sancho slept comfortably and without a care, like a barrel of settled wine, between his master's horse and his own calm donkey.


CHAPTER XIII

In Which Is Ended the Story of the Shepherdess Marcela with Other Incidents

AS soon as the sun was rising in the east, Don Quixote was awakened, and a little later they were on their way to the burial of Crysostom.

As soon as the sun rose in the east, Don Quixote was awakened, and shortly after, they set off for Crysostom's burial.

They had gone only a short distance, when they met six shepherds, all dressed in black sheepskins and with crowns of bitter oleander and cypress on their heads. In his hand each shepherd carried a staff of holly. Directly behind them came two dignified gentlemen on horseback, followed by three servants on foot. While stopping to exchange greetings, all had learned that they were going in the same direction for the same purpose. The two gentlemen had met the mourning shepherds, and from them had heard the sad story of the love of Crysostom for Marcela. That had aroused their curiosity and sorrow, and they wanted now to do him honor.

They had only traveled a short way when they encountered six shepherds, all wearing black sheepskins and crowned with bitter oleander and cypress. Each shepherd held a holly staff. Following them were two distinguished gentlemen on horseback, accompanied by three servants walking behind. As they paused to greet each other, they all discovered they were headed in the same direction for the same reason. The two gentlemen had encountered the grieving shepherds and learned from them the sad tale of Crysostom's love for Marcela. This had piqued their curiosity and sadness, and they now wanted to pay their respects to him.

The battle-clad Don Quixote, of course, attracted their attention, and one of the gentlemen was eager to learn [Pg 42] why any one should be masquerading in armor so early in the morning. To which he got the reply that the danger of his calling made it necessary for him to wear it. The gentlemen could not help then but realize Don Quixote's mental condition. But one of them possessed a restless sense of humor, and when Don Quixote began to discourse on chivalry and knights errant, he asked to know what these things were. Our hero then explained their mysteries at length. He described the deeds of King Arthur, spoke of the famous Round Table, and told the love-story of Don Lancelot and Queen Guinevere.

The armored Don Quixote definitely caught their attention, and one of the gentlemen was curious about why someone would be dressed in armor so early in the morning. He received the response that the dangers of his profession required it. The gentlemen couldn't help but realize that Don Quixote wasn't quite right in the head. However, one of them had a playful sense of humor, and as Don Quixote started talking about chivalry and knights-errant, he asked what those were. Our hero then went on to explain their mysteries in great detail. He described the feats of King Arthur, talked about the legendary Round Table, and recounted the love story of Sir Lancelot and Queen Guinevere.

In the course of these descriptions the jesting gentleman felt that he had fully diagnosed the madness of our knight, and thought it only fair play to beguile the journey to the burial-place by listening to his absurdities. Now and then he would put in a word or ask a question in order not to break the thread. For instance, he suggested cunningly that the calling of a knight errant was as serious as that of a Carthusian monk; and Don Quixote replied that he thought it a much more necessary one. And as to its demands, there was no comparison, he declared, for if ever one rose to become an emperor it was only after tremendous sacrifice of blood and sweat.

During these conversations, the joking gentleman felt he had figured out the knight's madness, and thought it was only fair to make the trip to the burial place more enjoyable by listening to his ridiculous stories. Every now and then, he would chime in or ask a question to keep the conversation going. For example, he cleverly suggested that being a knight-errant was just as serious as being a Carthusian monk; Don Quixote responded that he believed it was actually a much more important role. As for the sacrifices required, he insisted there was no comparison because if someone ever became an emperor, it was only after tremendous sacrifice of blood and sweat.

The traveling gentleman was agreed with him on that score; but there was one thing he did not approve of: whenever a knight went into battle, he commended himself to his lady, instead of God. This he thought wrong and unchristianlike. Don Quixote, however, saw no wrong in it. It was only human, he contended, to think first of his beloved one at so austere a moment; and, besides, often [Pg 43] the knight errant would say things under his breath that would not be understood. Then only Heaven could know whether he had called upon his lady or God.

The traveling gentleman agreed with him on that point, but there was one thing he didn't like: whenever a knight went into battle, he would commend himself to his lady rather than to God. He thought this was wrong and un-Christian. Don Quixote, however, didn't see any issue with it. He argued that it was only natural to think of his beloved at such a serious moment; and often, the knight errant would say things quietly that wouldn't be understood. So, only Heaven could know whether he was calling on his lady or God.

The gentleman then soon found another argument. He expressed a doubt that all knights errant were in love, saying that some of them commended themselves to ladies fictitiously. Don Quixote denied this emphatically; but the traveler thought that he had read somewhere that Don Galaor, the brother of the valiant Amadis of Gaul, never commended himself to any particular lady, yet he was a brave and most illustrious knight errant. All that Don Quixote replied to this argument was: "Sir, one solitary swallow does not make summer!" and offered, as if in confidence, his conviction that this very knight had been very deeply in love, but secretly.

The gentleman soon found another point to make. He questioned whether all knights errant were actually in love, suggesting that some might be flattering ladies just for show. Don Quixote firmly disagreed, but the traveler mentioned that he had read somewhere that Don Galaor, the brother of the brave Amadis of Gaul, never dedicated himself to any particular lady, yet he was still a courageous and renowned knight errant. Don Quixote responded to this argument by saying, "Sir, one swallow doesn’t make a summer!" and shared, almost confidentially, his belief that this knight had been deeply in love, but kept it a secret.

At that very moment he heaved a sigh of weariness. The sigh was misinterpreted by the traveler, however, for he asked our knight whether he was reticent about telling the name of his lady.

At that moment, he let out a sigh of exhaustion. The traveler misunderstood the sigh, though, and asked our knight if he was unwilling to share the name of his lady.

"Dulcinea del Toboso, of La Mancha," answered Don Quixote. And this time he made her a princess, extolling her virtues and her beauty to the traveler, who found it amusing to hear the knight tell of her ancestry and lineage. First of all Don Quixote named to the traveler the families of Spain that she was not connected with, then informed him that she was of the house of El Toboso of La Mancha. And though this was a most modern family, one could never foretell what position it would hold in the future.

"Dulcinea del Toboso, from La Mancha," replied Don Quixote. This time, he described her as a princess, praising her virtues and beauty to the traveler, who found it entertaining to listen to the knight share her ancestry and lineage. First, Don Quixote told the traveler about the families in Spain she was not related to, and then he mentioned that she was from the house of El Toboso in La Mancha. Even though this was a very modern family, it was impossible to predict what status it would have in the future.

The traveler in his turn told Don Quixote of his own family, saying that he of course dared not to compare it [Pg 44] with that of the fair Dulcinea, although he never had heard of hers ere this—a confession that surprised Don Quixote exceedingly.

The traveler, in response, shared details about his own family with Don Quixote, mentioning that he certainly wouldn’t compare it to that of the lovely Dulcinea, even though he had never heard of hers before—a revelation that left Don Quixote quite astonished.

During this conversation between the knight and the traveling gentleman—who was named Señor Vivaldo—they came in sight of a score of shepherds, all dressed in black sheepskins and crowned with garlands. Six of them were carrying a bier on which lay the body of the dead Crysostom. At his side were scattered some papers and books. When they had found the resting-place that the dead man had chosen for himself, Ambrosio, his dearest friend, spoke some words in his memory. He mentioned how Crysostom's heart had been rent asunder by the cruel treatment of one whom his departed friend would have immortalized to the world in poetry, had Ambrosio not been commissioned by him to consign the verses to the flames after having entrusted his body to the earth.

During this conversation between the knight and the traveling gentleman—named Señor Vivaldo—they spotted a group of shepherds, all wearing black sheepskins and adorned with garlands. Six of them were carrying a bier with the body of the deceased Crysostom. Beside him were scattered some papers and books. When they reached the resting place that the deceased had chosen for himself, Ambrosio, his closest friend, spoke a few words in his memory. He mentioned how Crysostom's heart had been broken by the cruel treatment of someone his late friend would have celebrated in poetry, if Ambrosio hadn't been tasked with burning the verses after burying his body.

Señor Vivaldo thought it would be a great pity to do away with such beautiful verses, and he pleaded with Ambrosio against their consignment to oblivion. As he was speaking, he reached out his hand for some of the papers that were close to him, and Ambrosio considerately permitted him to keep them. The remaining ones were burned.

Señor Vivaldo thought it would be a real shame to get rid of such beautiful verses, and he urged Ambrosio not to let them fade into forgetfulness. While he was talking, he reached out for some of the papers nearby, and Ambrosio kindly let him keep them. The rest were burned.

Señor Vivaldo glanced through the papers eagerly and read the title—"Lay of Despair." When Ambrosio heard this, he asked him to read the words aloud that all those assembled might hear the last verses of the dead shepherd. And while Señor Vivaldo spoke the despairing lines, some of the shepherds were digging the grave for their friend. [Pg 45]

Señor Vivaldo eagerly looked through the papers and read the title—"Lay of Despair." When Ambrosio heard this, he asked him to read the words out loud so everyone there could hear the final verses of the deceased shepherd. As Señor Vivaldo spoke the mournful lines, some of the shepherds were digging the grave for their friend. [Pg 45]


CHAPTER XIV

Wherein Are Described the Despairing Verses of the Dead Shepherd

SEÑOR Vivaldo had finished the last verse and was about to glance through the rest of the papers he had saved from the fire, when suddenly on the summit of the rock by the grave he saw a most glorious apparition. It was no other than Marcela, the shepherdess, and every-one was aghast at her presence. The moment Ambrosio saw her, he became indignant beyond words and commanded her to leave. But she remained and asked them all to listen to her. She had come there to defend herself, she said; she knew what people had accused her of: cruelty, scornfulness, arrogance, ingratitude, deception, and hatred. But she hated no one, she declared. She had deceived no one. Crysostom had loved her because of her beauty; but she had loved neither him nor any other man. She had chosen solitude, the woods and the fields, because of her inborn craving for freedom. Should she have forced herself to give that up because any man chose to say, "I love you," while she did not love him? Was she to be blamed for Crysostom's death. For not loving him? Would not that have been to pawn her modesty and her womanly honor and virtue? And why should he have wanted to rob her of them?

SEÑOR Vivaldo had finished the last verse and was about to look through the rest of the papers he had saved from the fire when, suddenly, on top of the rock by the grave, he saw a stunning sight. It was none other than Marcela, the shepherdess, and everyone was shocked by her presence. The moment Ambrosio saw her, he became furious and ordered her to leave. But she stayed and asked them all to listen to her. She had come there to defend herself, she said; she knew what people had accused her of: cruelty, disdain, arrogance, ingratitude, deception, and hatred. But she didn’t hate anyone, she declared. She had deceived no one. Crysostom had loved her for her beauty, but she had loved neither him nor any other man. She had chosen solitude, the woods, and the fields because of her natural desire for freedom. Should she have forced herself to give that up just because any man said, “I love you,” when she didn’t love him? Should she be blamed for Crysostom’s death for not loving him? Wouldn’t that have meant sacrificing her modesty and her womanly honor and virtue? And why should he have wanted to take those from her?

So she spoke; and when she had finished she waited for [Pg 46] no reply but turned and ran like a deer into the woods. All stood gazing after her in silent admiration, not only for her beauty but for her frank speech and good sense also. Some of the men seemed to be about to run after her, having been wellnigh enchanted by her gloriously bright eyes; but they were stopped by Don Quixote, who thundered: "Let no one, whatever his rank or condition, dare to follow the beautiful Marcela, under pain of incurring my fierce indignation! She has shown by clear and satisfactory arguments that no fault is to be found with her for the death of Crysostom. Instead of being followed and persecuted, she should in justice be honored and esteemed by all the good people of the world, for she shows that she is the only woman in it that holds to such a virtuous resolution."

So she spoke; and when she finished, she waited for [Pg 46] no response but turned and ran like a deer into the woods. Everyone stood there, gazing after her in silent admiration, not just for her beauty but also for her candid words and common sense. Some of the men seemed ready to chase after her, having been almost enchanted by her brilliantly bright eyes; but they were stopped by Don Quixote, who declared: "Let no one, regardless of rank or status, dare to follow the beautiful Marcela, or they will face my fierce anger! She has clearly shown that she bears no blame for the death of Crysostom. Instead of being pursued and followed, she deserves to be honored and valued by all the good people in the world, for she demonstrates that she is the only woman who holds to such a virtuous commitment."

These words Don Quixote uttered in a threatening manner, his hand on the hilt of his sword. Whether because of his threats or because the grave had been dug and Crysostom's remains were about to be lowered into it, they all stayed until the burial was over. The grave was closed with a large stone, and then the shepherds strewed flowers, leaves and branches upon it, and shed many tears.

These words Don Quixote said in a threatening way, his hand on the grip of his sword. Whether it was because of his threats or because the grave had been dug and Crysostom's body was about to be laid to rest, they all stayed until the burial was finished. The grave was covered with a large stone, and then the shepherds scattered flowers, leaves, and branches on it, and shed many tears.

The two travelers extended an invitation to Don Quixote to accompany them to Seville, where they assured him he would find no end of adventures awaiting him. But he told them that for the present he had his hands full ridding these very regions of highwaymen and robbers. He thanked them, however, and they continued their journey without our hero.

The two travelers invited Don Quixote to join them on their trip to Seville, promising him unlimited adventures there. However, he told them that for now, he was busy dealing with highwaymen and robbers in these parts. He thanked them, and they went on their way without him.

Don Quixote now saw his duty clearly. He would [Pg 47] search the woods and wilds for the beautiful Marcela. He was certain that she would need his services.

Don Quixote now understood his duty clearly. He would [Pg 47] search the woods and wilderness for the beautiful Marcela. He was sure that she would need his help.

But things did not turn out as he expected.

But things didn't go as he expected.


CHAPTER XV

In Which Is Related the Unfortunate Adventure That Don Quixote Fell in with When He Fell Out with Certain Heartless Yanguesans

WHEN Don Quixote had taken leave of his hosts, he set off with his squire into the woods where he had seen Marcela disappear. They wandered about for some time and found no trace of the shepherdess. Then they came to a pasture through which a brook was running, and as they were both thirsty, warm, and tired, they decided to remain there for their noontide meal. They feasted on the scraps that remained in the alforjas, while Rocinante and Sancho's ass were left free to pluck all the grass they desired.

WHEN Don Quixote said goodbye to his hosts, he set off with his squire into the woods where he had seen Marcela vanish. They wandered around for a while and found no sign of the shepherdess. Then they arrived at a grassy area with a stream running through it, and since they were both thirsty, warm, and tired, they decided to stay there for their midday meal. They enjoyed the leftovers from the alforjas, while Rocinante and Sancho's donkey were free to graze on as much grass as they wanted.

Now, Fate would have it that at that very hour a band of Yanguesans were resting nearby, with their ponies let loose in the pasture. As soon as the ponies were discovered by Rocinante, he wanted to exchange friendly greetings with them, so he set off at a brisk trot in their direction. But the ponies seemed to have no desire to strike up an acquaintance with an unknown hack, for they arrogantly turned their backs on him and commenced to snort and kick and bite until the saddle fell off Rocinante and he was left quite naked. By this time the Yanguesans had heard [Pg 48] the commotion and rushed up, armed with sticks, and with these they thrashed poor Rocinante so soundly that he fell to the ground in a heap.

Now, fate had it that at that very moment, a group of Yanguesans were resting nearby, with their ponies roaming freely in the pasture. As soon as Rocinante spotted the ponies, he eagerly trotted over to greet them. However, the ponies showed no interest in befriending an unfamiliar horse; instead, they arrogantly turned away and began to snort, kick, and bite until Rocinante’s saddle fell off, leaving him completely bare. By this time, the Yanguesans had heard the noise and rushed over, armed with sticks, and they beat poor Rocinante so harshly that he collapsed on the ground in a heap.

Just at this time Don Quixote and Sancho, having finished their repast, went to look for their chargers. As soon as Don Quixote had taken in the situation, he realized that these were no knights errant and confided this to his squire, charging him to help him in his battle for Rocinante's honor. Sancho made vehement pleas for abstaining from vengeance, seeing the great numbers of the enemy; but his master's conviction that he alone counted for a hundred eased his mind.

Just then, Don Quixote and Sancho, after finishing their meal, went to find their horses. As soon as Don Quixote assessed the situation, he realized these weren’t real knights and shared this with his squire, asking for his help in defending Rocinante's honor. Sancho strongly urged against seeking revenge, seeing how many enemies there were; but his master’s belief that he was worth a hundred eased his worries.

Don Quixote attacked at once and cut off a portion of his opponent's shoulder; Sancho fought bravely too. But when the men saw that they were fighting such a small number they set upon them, all at one time, and after a few thrusts they had unseated our knight and his squire, both sorely battered. Then, fearing the hand of the law, the Yanguesans set off in great haste.

Don Quixote charged immediately and took a slice off his opponent's shoulder; Sancho fought courageously as well. But when the men realized they were up against just a few individuals, they attacked all at once, and after a few blows, they knocked our knight and his squire off their feet, both pretty bruised. Then, afraid of getting in trouble with the law, the Yanguesans hurried away.

When Sancho came to, he was certain that all his bones were broken, and he feebly turned to his master saying that he only wished that he had at hand the marvelous balsam of Fierabras, of which his master had spoken. Sancho lamented the lack of it no more than Don Quixote, who swore that within two days he would have the potion in his possession. As to his wounds, he took all the blame upon himself: he felt that it was God's punishment for having engaged in battle with ordinary rabble like these carriers, and decided that henceforth he would have Sancho alone chastise those who had not been dubbed knights. [Pg 49]

When Sancho regained consciousness, he was convinced that every bone in his body was broken. Weakly, he turned to his master and said he just wished he had the amazing balsam of Fierabras that his master had mentioned. Sancho mourned its absence just as much as Don Quixote, who vowed that within two days he would have the potion in his hands. As for his injuries, he took all the blame for them, believing it was God's punishment for fighting against common people like those carriers. He decided from then on that he would let Sancho deal with anyone who hadn’t been knighted. [Pg 49]

To this Sancho took exception, for he maintained that he had wife and children to support, and was by nature a peaceful, meek and timid man. He called upon God to forgive in advance all the insults man or beast might offer him in the future and for all times; but at this Don Quixote took him to task and admonished him not to lose his valor in attacking and defending himself in all sorts of emergencies.

To this, Sancho objected, saying that he had a wife and kids to support and was naturally a peaceful, gentle, and timid person. He prayed for God to forgive in advance all the insults he might face from people or animals in the future and for all time; but Don Quixote called him out and urged him not to lose his courage when it came to standing up for himself in any situation.

Sancho's soft heart now turned to Rocinante, who had been the cause of all the trouble. The poor horse was in a sorry plight. So it was considered best that Don Quixote—who could not sit upright—should be slung across his servant's donkey. This decision was reached when Don Quixote remembered that Silenus, the teacher of the God of Laughter, had entered the city of the hundred gates mounted on a handsome ass.

Sancho's gentle heart now turned to Rocinante, who had caused all the trouble. The poor horse was in bad shape. So it was decided that Don Quixote—who couldn't sit up straight—should be strapped across his servant's donkey. This choice was made when Don Quixote recalled that Silenus, the teacher of the God of Laughter, had come into the city of a hundred gates riding a beautiful donkey.

When his master had been secured and Rocinante raised from the ground, Sancho took the two beasts by the halter and led them out to the road, and from there they proceeded on their way. Soon Sancho saw the outlines of an inn, which Don Quixote insisted must be a castle, and before they had finished their dispute, they found themselves at the gate and entered. [Pg 50]

When his master was safe and Rocinante was lifted off the ground, Sancho took both animals by the reins and led them to the road, and from there they continued on their journey. Soon, Sancho spotted the outline of an inn, which Don Quixote insisted was a castle, and before they could finish their argument, they arrived at the gate and went inside. [Pg 50]


CHAPTER XVI

Of What Happened to the Ingenious Gentleman in the Inn Which He Took to Be a Castle

WHEN the keeper of the inn saw the sorry body of the knight on the ass, he became anxious to learn what had happened to him. His wife was a kindly and good-natured woman, and when Sancho had explained that his master had fallen from a rock, she and her pretty daughter offered to care for him. The daughter, and a one-eyed Asturian servant-girl, with turned-up nose and high cheek-bones, made a bed for Don Quixote on four rough boards in a garret, where a carrier was also quartered. Stretched on this bed Don Quixote was attended by the innkeeper's wife, who soon covered him with more plasters than he had quilts. In the meantime she, her daughter, and the Asturian girl, all curious, questioned Sancho about his master.

WHEN the innkeeper saw the sorry state of the knight on the donkey, he was eager to find out what had happened to him. His wife was a kind and good-hearted woman, and when Sancho explained that his master had fallen from a rock, she and her pretty daughter offered to help take care of him. The daughter, along with a one-eyed Asturian servant girl who had a turned-up nose and high cheekbones, made a bed for Don Quixote using four rough boards in an attic where a carrier was also staying. Lying on this bed, Don Quixote was attended to by the innkeeper's wife, who soon covered him with more bandages than he had blankets. In the meantime, she, her daughter, and the Asturian girl, all curious, asked Sancho about his master.

Sancho told, in as thrilling words as he could command, of their marvelous adventures; to all of which they listened with astonishment. The Asturian servant nearly stared her one eye out of her head. She asked Sancho Panza, trembling with excitement, what a knight errant was. To this Sancho replied that a knight was an adventurer, who one day might be the poorest and meanest of men, and the next day emperor, with crowns and kingdoms in abundance to give away to his squire and underlings. Here [Pg 51] the women expressed surprise that he himself, judging by appearance, did not possess even so much as a small strip of land. He then confided to them that he and his master had been going but a short time; that as yet it was much too soon; that the adventures they had met with so far were but a beginning and not worthy of mention.

Sancho shared, using the most exciting words he could find, their incredible adventures, and everyone listened in amazement. The Asturian servant nearly stared her eye out in disbelief. She asked Sancho Panza, shaking with excitement, what a knight errant was. Sancho explained that a knight was an adventurer who could be the poorest and humblest person one day, and the next day be an emperor, with crowns and kingdoms to give away to his squire and followers. At this point, [Pg 51] the women expressed surprise that he himself, judging by his looks, didn’t even have a small piece of land. He then told them that he and his master had only been traveling for a short time; that it was still way too early; and that the adventures they had encountered so far were just the beginning and not worth mentioning.

Don Quixote, who had been listening to everything his squire said, now sat up in bed and informed them of the great honor he had conferred upon them by being in their house; he told them of his indescribable gratitude to them; and of his love for his Dulcinea del Toboso of La Mancha.

Don Quixote, who had been listening to everything his squire said, now sat up in bed and told them how honored he felt to be in their house; he expressed his deep gratitude to them and shared his love for his Dulcinea del Toboso of La Mancha.

The women, not being accustomed to such language, which seemed to them more difficult to understand than Greek, stared at him in bewilderment; then, thanking him for his courtesy, they left him while the Asturian plastered Sancho, who seemed to be in need of treatment as sadly as his master.

The women, not used to that kind of language, which seemed harder to understand than Greek, stared at him in confusion. After thanking him for his kindness, they left him, while the Asturian plastered Sancho, who looked like he needed help just as much as his master.


CHAPTER XVII

In Which Are Contained the Innumerable Troubles Which the Brave Don Quixote and His Good Squire Sancho Panza Endured at the Inn, Which to His Misfortune He Took to Be a Castle

THE following morning Sancho, feeling his pains even more, reminded his master of the famous balsam he was to make. Don Quixote himself was anxious for it too, so he sent Sancho to an imagined fortress for some oil, [Pg 52] wine, rosemary and salt. He mixed these ingredients in a pot, and boiled them. Then he poured the mixture into a tin flask, crossed himself and repeated innumerable paternosters and ave-marias. When he had nearly exhausted himself doing that, he swallowed a good portion of the liquid; and immediately he began to vomit and perspire, while his face and body contracted in the most horrible spasms. He asked to be put to bed at once, and they let him sleep for three hours. When he woke he felt so relieved that he really thought he had hit upon the remedy of Fierabras.

The next morning, Sancho, feeling even worse, reminded his master about the famous balsam he was supposed to make. Don Quixote was eager for it too, so he sent Sancho to an imaginary fortress to get some oil, wine, rosemary, and salt. He mixed these ingredients in a pot and boiled them. Then he poured the mixture into a tin flask, crossed himself, and recited countless Our Fathers and Hail Marys. After he nearly wore himself out doing that, he drank a good amount of the liquid; and immediately he started to vomit and sweat, his face and body twisting in terrible spasms. He asked to be put to bed right away, and they let him sleep for three hours. When he woke up, he felt so much better that he really thought he had found the cure of Fierabras.

Seeing his master's miraculous recovery, Sancho begged to be permitted to drink some of the wonderful liquid, and Don Quixote gave him a dose of it. Unlike his master, Sancho retained what he had drunk for some time before letting it all come up again, but in the meantime his agony was insufferable. He was seized with such gripings and faintness that he was sure his last hour had come. He even cursed his master for having given him such terrible stuff; but Don Quixote said that he had only now come to realize that the remedy was made solely for those who had been dubbed knights: whereupon Sancho, writhing in convulsions cursed him still more. Sancho's agony lasted for several hours.

Seeing his master's miraculous recovery, Sancho begged to be allowed to drink some of the amazing liquid, and Don Quixote gave him a dose. Unlike his master, Sancho kept what he had drunk for a while before throwing it all up, but in the meantime, his misery was unbearable. He was gripped by such cramps and weakness that he was convinced his end was near. He even cursed his master for giving him such awful stuff; but Don Quixote said that he had only just realized that the remedy was meant only for those who had been made knights: at which point Sancho, writhing in pain, cursed him even more. Sancho's agony lasted for several hours.

In the meantime Don Quixote himself, being anxious for new adventures, had saddled Rocinante. He had to help his squire mount the ass, for Sancho still was in a sorry condition. All the folk at the inn had gathered to see them depart, and when Don Quixote's eyes fell on the beautiful young daughter of the innkeeper, he heaved a [Pg 53] heavy sigh; but no one there realized the soul or the reason of it, for they all thought it must be from the pain in his ribs.

In the meantime, Don Quixote, eager for new adventures, had saddled Rocinante. He had to help his squire get on the donkey, as Sancho was still in pretty bad shape. All the people at the inn had gathered to watch them leave, and when Don Quixote spotted the innkeeper’s beautiful young daughter, he let out a heavy sigh; but no one there understood the depth or the reason behind it, as they all assumed it was just because of the pain in his ribs.

As he was about to leave, the valiant knight called the innkeeper and asked him with profound gravity whether he had any enemies that remained unpunished; if so, he, Don Quixote, would chastise them for him. The innkeeper answered shortly that he could take care of his own grudges; all he asked of our knight was payment for lodging and for what he and the beasts and the squire had consumed.

As he was about to leave, the brave knight called the innkeeper and seriously asked him if he had any enemies who hadn't been punished; if so, he, Don Quixote, would take care of them for him. The innkeeper replied curtly that he could handle his own grievances; all he asked of our knight was payment for the room and for what he, the animals, and the squire had eaten.

"Then this is an inn?" cried Don Quixote, who could hardly believe his ears. He ransacked his memory for any incident when knight had ever paid for food and lodging, and, unable to remember one, raised his lance, turned Rocinante, and set off at a quick gallop, leaving Sancho behind.

"Is this really an inn?" shouted Don Quixote, who could hardly believe what he heard. He searched his mind for any instance when a knight had ever paid for food and a place to stay, and not remembering any, he lifted his lance, turned Rocinante, and took off at a fast gallop, leaving Sancho behind.

The innkeeper immediately took steps to attach the squire for the unpaid debt; but Sancho's stolid indifference to his representations only tended to prove the truth of the old proverb: like master, like servant. He argued that it was not for him to tear down traditions of noble knighthood.

The innkeeper quickly moved to hold the squire responsible for the unpaid debt; however, Sancho's unemotional indifference to his appeals only confirmed the old saying: like master, like servant. He argued that it wasn't his place to dismantle the traditions of noble knighthood.

Unfortunately for Sancho, he was overheard by a good many guests at the inn, rollicking fellows, who were on the alert for amusement. These men seized a blanket, dismounted the squire unceremoniously, placed him in the middle of the blanket, and proceeded to hoist him, not gently, high in the air. This movement no doubt caused a return of Sancho's stomach-ache, for he commenced to groan and scream helplessly. His screams were heard far off by [Pg 54] his master, who, believing that some new and glorious adventure was at hand, spurred his hack into a playful gallop and returned to the inn.

Unfortunately for Sancho, he was overheard by quite a few guests at the inn, rowdy guys who were looking for some fun. These men grabbed a blanket, unceremoniously yanked the squire off his feet, plopped him in the middle of the blanket, and proceeded to hoist him, not gently, high into the air. This action probably triggered Sancho's stomach ache again, as he began to groan and scream helplessly. His cries reached his master from a distance, who, thinking that some new and exciting adventure was about to unfold, kicked his horse into a playful gallop and headed back to the inn.

The gates were closed, but over the wall the knight could see the tricks that his faithful follower was made to perform in the air and on the blanket, and he boiled with rage, unable to come to the rescue, for he could not dismount because of stiffness. Finally, when the men had been sufficiently amused, they stopped their sport, then mounted Sancho with no little kindness on his ass and bade him godspeed on his journey. The one-eyed Asturian compassionately offered the poor fellow some water to drink; but seeing this, Don Quixote commenced to gesticulate wildly, waving a tin flask in the air, and crying: "Sancho, my son, drink not water, for it will kill thee! See, here I have the blessed balsam: two drops of it will restore thee!"

The gates were closed, but over the wall, the knight could see the stunts his loyal follower was forced to do in the air and on the blanket, and he fumed with anger, unable to help because he couldn't get off his horse due to stiffness. Finally, after the men had entertained themselves enough, they stopped their antics and kindly lifted Sancho onto his donkey, wishing him well on his journey. The one-eyed Asturian sympathetically offered the poor guy some water to drink; but seeing this, Don Quixote started waving his arms frantically, holding up a tin flask, and shouted: "Sancho, my son, don’t drink the water, it will harm you! Look, I have the blessed balsam: just two drops of this will heal you!"

His master's advice did not appeal to the squire, and he replied rather cuttingly that Don Quixote ought to remember that he was not a knight. Saying this he put the cup the lass had offered him to his lips. But he found that it was not wine but water. He begged her to exchange it, which she did with Christian spirit, paying for it herself. The squire, having drunk the wine, spurred his ass toward the gate, and the innkeeper let him depart without further payment, having, unbeknown to Sancho, appropriated his alforjas. [Pg 55]

His master's advice didn't sit well with the squire, and he responded rather sharply that Don Quixote should remember he wasn't actually a knight. With that, he brought the cup the girl had offered him to his lips, only to discover it was water, not wine. He asked her to switch it, which she did graciously, even covering the cost herself. After drinking the wine, the squire kicked his donkey into gear toward the gate, and the innkeeper let him leave without asking for more payment, having, without Sancho knowing, taken his alforjas. [Pg 55]


CHAPTER XVIII

In Which Is Related the Discourse Sancho Panza Held with His Master, Don Quixote, Together with Other Adventures Worth Relating

DON QUIXOTE told his squire he was certain that the inn was an enchanted castle, and blamed his transgressions of the laws of chivalry for all their mishaps; for he imagined that, had he abstained from laying hands on the rabble and base folk, these would not have occurred. His being unable to get out of the saddle and climb over the wall, he ascribed to enchantment as well. Sancho thought this might be the moment for reforming his master. He suggested that it was harvest time at home; and reminded the knight of the fact that of all his battles he had come out victorious but once, when he fought with the Biscayan, and then with half of his ear lost, not to speak of all the damage done to his armor.

DON QUIXOTE told his squire he was sure that the inn was an enchanted castle, and he blamed his violations of chivalric laws for all their troubles; he believed that if he had refrained from engaging with the common people, these incidents wouldn't have happened. He also attributed his inability to dismount and climb over the wall to enchantment. Sancho thought this might be the right time to set his master straight. He pointed out that it was harvest time at home and reminded the knight that of all his battles, he had only won once, when he fought the Biscayan, and even then he lost part of his ear, not to mention the damage done to his armor.

But Don Quixote was in no mood to contemplate past disasters, for in the distance he suddenly perceived rising clouds of dust, and what could it be but two opposing armies making ready for battle; since the clouds were seen on either side of the road! He made Sancho believe they were the great armies of the mighty emperor Alifanfaron and his enemy, the king of the Garamantas, Pentapolin of the Bare Arm, explaining—on seeing a bare-armed shepherd—that this lord always went into battle in this manner. [Pg 56]

But Don Quixote wasn’t in the mood to think about past troubles. In the distance, he suddenly saw clouds of dust rising, and what could it be but two armies getting ready for battle; the clouds were visible on both sides of the road! He convinced Sancho that they were the great armies of the powerful emperor Alifanfaron and his enemy, King Pentapolin of the Garamantas, known as the Bare Arm, pointing out a bare-armed shepherd and explaining that this lord always went into battle like that. [Pg 56]

Sancho Panza asked what they should do. His master replied that their duty was clear: they should, of course, help the weak and needy. Then he went on to explain that the reason for the feud was the pagan Alifanfaron's wish to marry the beautiful and Christian daughter of Pentapolin, and her father's refusal to sanction the marriage unless the emperor became a convert. Immediately Sancho's instinct for righteousness made him declare himself for Pentapolin, and he wanted to fight for him. This spirit pleased Don Quixote tremendously, for, he said, it was not required of dubbed knights to engage in feuds of this sort; thus Sancho would have a chance to distinguish himself all alone.

Sancho Panza asked what they should do. His master replied that their duty was clear: they should definitely help the weak and needy. Then he explained that the reason for the conflict was the pagan Alifanfaron's desire to marry the beautiful Christian daughter of Pentapolin, and her father's refusal to allow the marriage unless the emperor converted. Immediately, Sancho's sense of justice made him declare his support for Pentapolin, and he wanted to fight for him. This spirit thrilled Don Quixote, who said that dubbed knights were not required to get involved in feuds like this; thus, Sancho would have a chance to prove himself on his own.

Scratching his head, Sancho now began to worry about his faithful donkey, for he believed it was not good taste to go into battle mounted on an ass, and if he dismounted, he was afraid his Dapple would be lost in the ensuing tumult. Don Quixote, however, calmed his fears. There would be hundreds of riderless horses after the battle, from which both of them might choose; and he asked Sancho to follow him to a hill nearby that he might point out to his valiant squire the great and illustrious knights of the two armies. He cried out name after name, the last one always more illustrious than the previous one. But Sancho could see nothing but the two flocks of sheep and the shepherds, and he said so.

Scratching his head, Sancho started to worry about his loyal donkey because he thought it would be in poor taste to go into battle riding an ass. If he got off, he was afraid Dapple would get lost in the chaos. Don Quixote, however, reassured him. There would be hundreds of riderless horses after the battle, from which they could both choose; and he asked Sancho to follow him to a nearby hill so he could point out to his brave squire the great and famous knights of the two armies. He shouted name after name, with the last one always being more impressive than the one before. But Sancho could see nothing but the two flocks of sheep and the shepherds and said so.

"How can you say that!" cried Don Quixote. "Do you not hear the neighing of the steeds, the braying of the trumpets, the roll of the drums?"

"How can you say that!" shouted Don Quixote. "Don’t you hear the horses neighing, the trumpets blaring, the drums rolling?"

Sancho answered in despair that he could hear nothing [Pg 57] but the bleating of ewes and sheep. To this his master explained that often fear deranged the senses and made things appear different from what they were. Therefore, being certain that Sancho had suddenly become possessed of fear, he put the spurs in Rocinante and charged down the hill like a flash of lightning, determined to down the pagan emperor.

Sancho replied in despair that he could hear nothing [Pg 57] except the bleating of ewes and sheep. To this, his master explained that fear often messes with the senses and makes things seem different from reality. So, knowing that Sancho had suddenly become scared, he urged Rocinante on and raced down the hill like a bolt of lightning, determined to take down the pagan emperor.

Lifting his lance, he galloped into the midst of the sheep, and commenced spearing right and left. The shepherds, panic-stricken, used their slings. Stones hit his head and body, but it was not until a large one struck him in the ribs that he imagined himself really wounded. He stopped in the midst of the furious battle, and suddenly remembering his flask of balsam, drew it out, put it to his mouth, and was about to swallow a quantity of it when there came a stone that took the flask out of his hand, and another one that smashed out three or four of his teeth. Don Quixote was so astonished and the force of the blow was so sudden that he lost his reins and fell backwards off his horse. When the shepherds came up and saw what they had done to him, they quickly gathered their flocks and hastened away, taking with them the seven sheep that Don Quixote killed with his spear.

Lifting his spear, he charged into the middle of the sheep, stabbing left and right. The shepherds, terrified, started using their slings. Stones hit his head and body, but it wasn’t until a big one struck his ribs that he thought he was actually hurt. He halted in the chaos of the battle, suddenly remembering his flask of balsam. He pulled it out, raised it to his lips, and was about to drink when a stone knocked the flask from his hand, and another hit him, knocking out three or four of his teeth. Don Quixote was so shocked, and the impact was so sudden that he lost his reins and fell backward off his horse. When the shepherds approached and saw what they had done to him, they quickly gathered their flocks and hurried away, taking with them the seven sheep that Don Quixote had speared.

During this rampage, Sancho Panza was nearly beside himself where he stood on the hill. He was tearing his hair and beard, wishing he had never laid eyes on his master, and berating himself for ever having joined in his mad adventures. When the shepherds had disappeared, he ran to his master's side.

During this chaos, Sancho Panza was almost at his wit's end as he stood on the hill. He was pulling at his hair and beard, wishing he had never set eyes on his master, and blaming himself for ever joining in on his crazy adventures. When the shepherds vanished, he ran over to his master's side.

"Did I not tell your worship," he reproached the prostrate [Pg 58] knight, "that they were not armies, but droves of sheep!"

"Didn't I tell you," he scolded the kneeling knight, "that they weren't armies, but just flocks of sheep!"

But again our hero blamed his misfortune on his arch-enemy, that cursed Sage Friston, who had falsified the armies in such a way that they looked like meek and harmless sheep. Then he begged his squire to pursue the enemy by stealth that he might ascertain for himself that what he had said was true; for he was sure that ere they had gone very far they would resume their original shape.

But once more our hero blamed his bad luck on his arch-enemy, that cursed Sage Friston, who had distorted the armies so they appeared like gentle and harmless sheep. Then he asked his squire to secretly follow the enemy so he could find out for himself if what he had claimed was true; he was certain that before long they would return to their original form.

However, before Sancho Panza had time to make up his mind whether to go or not, his master's sip of the balsam during the battle suddenly began to take effect, and Sancho's presence became for the moment a necessity. Having gone through this ordeal, Don Quixote rose and asked his squire for a remedy for hunger. It was then they discovered that the alforjas had disappeared, with all its precious contents. Both were dejected. Don Quixote tried to impart, out of the abundance of his optimism for the future, new hope to the discouraged Sancho. It was a difficult task, and he might have failed, had not the loss of his teeth and the sorry plight he was in made Sancho sway from his intentions of home-going. When, at his master's request, the squire put his finger in Don Quixote's mouth in order to learn the extent of the damage done in that region of his body, his heart was touched by the terrible devastation there. He could not, of course, leave his master to shift for himself on the highways in such a condition. So he consented to remain, and they proceeded along the road, hoping that they would soon come to a place where they could find shelter for the night, as well as something with which to still their hunger. [Pg 59]

However, before Sancho Panza had the chance to decide whether to stay or go, his master's sip of the balsam during the battle suddenly started to take effect, and Sancho's presence became essential for the moment. After going through this ordeal, Don Quixote got up and asked his squire for something to eat. It was then that they discovered the alforjas had gone missing, along with all its precious contents. Both felt downcast. Don Quixote tried to inspire new hope in the discouraged Sancho, drawing from his usual optimism for the future. It was a tough task, and he might have failed if it weren't for Sancho's own troubles and the loss of his teeth, which made him hesitate about heading home. When, at his master's request, the squire put his finger in Don Quixote's mouth to check the extent of the damage, he was deeply moved by the horrific state there. He couldn’t just leave his master alone on the road in such a condition. So, he agreed to stay, and they continued along the path, hoping to find a place to stay for the night, as well as something to quiet their hunger. [Pg 59]


CHAPTER XIX

Of the Shrewd Discourse Which Sancho Held with His Master, and of the Adventure That Befell Him with a Dead Body, Together with Other Notable Occurrences

NIGHT had fallen, yet they had discovered no place of refuge. Suddenly, in the darkness, they saw a number of lights that came closer and closer without their being able to make out what it was. Sancho commenced to shake like a leaf, and even Don Quixote was frightened and muttered a paternoster between his teeth while his hair stood on end. They withdrew to the roadside, from where they soon distinguished twenty bodies on horseback, all dressed in white shirts, and carrying lighted torches in their hands. With chattering teeth Sancho stared at this awe-inspiring procession, which was not yet at an end, for behind the mounted bodies there came others, these in black and on mule—back, and surrounding a bier, covered with a large black cloth. All the while a quiet, solemn mumbling came from the moving figures, and Sancho Panza was now so stricken with fear that he was almost paralyzed.

NIGHT had fallen, but they had found no place to take shelter. Suddenly, in the darkness, they saw several lights coming closer and closer, and they couldn't figure out what it was. Sancho started to shake like a leaf, and even Don Quixote felt scared and mumbled a prayer under his breath while his hair stood on end. They stepped back to the side of the road, from where they soon saw twenty figures on horseback, all dressed in white shirts and holding lit torches. With his teeth chattering, Sancho stared at this terrifying procession, which wasn't over yet, as behind the riders came others in black, riding mules and surrounding a coffin covered with a large black cloth. All the while, a quiet, solemn mumbling came from the moving figures, and Sancho Panza was so paralyzed with fear that he could barely move.

Don Quixote's courage—which likewise had been rather shaky at this passing of ghostlike beings, at such a time of the night—suddenly revived and mounted to such heights that he decided he would ask where they were carrying the wounded king on the bier. This he did without delay. But such a question seemed silly and out of place to one [Pg 60] of the guardians of the corpse, and he commanded the knight to move on. This angered Don Quixote beyond measure. He seized the man's mule by the bridle; but this, in turn, annoyed the mule, which rose on its hind legs and flung its rider to the ground. Another man came up to Don Quixote and tried to talk reason to him, but to no avail, and in the disturbance that followed the procession was soon scattered over the fields and plains, with torches glimmering from all points like so many eyes in the black night.

Don Quixote's courage—which had been pretty shaky when faced with those ghostly figures at such a late hour—suddenly surged, and he decided he would ask where they were taking the wounded king on the stretcher. He didn't hesitate to do this. However, that question seemed absurd and inappropriate to one of the guards of the corpse, who ordered the knight to move along. This infuriated Don Quixote beyond measure. He grabbed the man's mule by the bridle, but this only upset the mule, which reared up and threw its rider to the ground. Another man approached Don Quixote and tried to reason with him, but it was no use, and in the chaos that followed, the procession quickly became scattered across the fields and plains, with torches flickering from all directions like so many eyes in the dark night.

While our knight errant was lunging with his spear in all directions, the meek followers of the dead body became ensnared in their skirts and gowns and long white shirts, and fell head over heels wherever they happened to be, in ditch or field. Moans, groans, and prayers were intermingled, and they all were convinced that the procession had been interrupted by the devil himself, come to carry away the body of the dead man.

While our wandering knight was thrusting his spear in every direction, the timid followers of the corpse got caught up in their skirts, gowns, and long white shirts, and tumbled over wherever they were, whether in a ditch or a field. Moans, groans, and prayers mingled together, and they all believed that the procession had been disrupted by the devil himself, come to take the body of the deceased.

When the battle had ceased, Don Quixote approached the man who was flung by his mule, to make him his prisoner. The poor man declared that Don Quixote had made a grave mistake; that the dead man was not a king and had not fallen in battle, but a gentleman who had died from fever; and he himself was a poor servant of the Holy Church who could harm no one. On hearing this confession Don Quixote made a slight apology for having mistaken him in the dark for something evil, if not for the very devil, explaining that since it was his sworn duty to right all wrongs, he had only set out to do so. But the worthy ecclesiastic was not easily appeased, and before [Pg 61] making his departure, he unceremoniously excommunicated his attacker in flowing and flourishing Latin.

When the fight was over, Don Quixote walked over to the man who had fallen off his mule to take him as a prisoner. The poor guy insisted that Don Quixote had made a serious error; that the dead person wasn’t a king and hadn’t died in battle, but was a gentleman who had succumbed to a fever; and he himself was just a humble servant of the Church who meant no harm to anyone. After hearing this, Don Quixote offered a small apology for mistaking him in the dark for something wicked, if not the devil himself, explaining that since it was his sworn duty to correct all wrongs, he was just trying to fulfill that duty. However, the respected churchman wasn’t easily calmed down, and before __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0

Sancho, moved by a desire to alleviate the sting of the outburst, called out after him: "If the gentleman should wish to know who was the hero who served them thus, your worship may tell them he is the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha, otherwise called the Knight of the Rueful Countenance."

Sancho, wanting to ease the tension from the outburst, called out after him: "If you want to know who the hero is that served them this way, you can tell them he is the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha, also known as the Knight of the Sorrowful Face."

Don Quixote asked his squire why he called him thus; and Sancho replied that the loss of his teeth had given his master a face so sorry looking that he could find no milder name to describe its ugliness. Don Quixote laughed at the compliment; nevertheless he decided to adopt Sancho's meaning name, and also to have his own rueful face commemorated on his shield at the first opportunity.

Don Quixote asked his squire why he called him that; and Sancho replied that the loss of his teeth had given his master a face so unfortunate that he couldn’t think of a kinder way to describe its unattractiveness. Don Quixote laughed at the compliment; however, he decided to embrace Sancho's nickname and also have his sorrowful face depicted on his shield at the first chance he got.

After this conversation Sancho persuaded his master to continue their journey; although Don Quixote was eager to view the bones of the deceased man, and Sancho had some difficulty in preventing him from doing so.

After this conversation, Sancho convinced his master to keep going on their journey; even though Don Quixote was eager to see the bones of the dead man, Sancho had a hard time stopping him from doing it.

Sancho had made his coat into a sack and filled it with the provisions of the clergy; and so, when they arrived in a valley where they found an abundance of grass, they ate all the meals they had been missing. Their repast would have been complete had they had some wine; but they did not have even water. [Pg 62]

Sancho had turned his coat into a bag and filled it with the clergy's supplies; so, when they got to a valley with plenty of grass, they enjoyed all the meals they had been missing. Their feast would have been perfect if they had some wine; but they didn’t even have water. [Pg 62]


CHAPTER XX

Of the Unexampled and Unheard-of Adventure Which Was Achieved by the Valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha with Less Peril Than Any Ever Achieved by Any Famous Knight in the World

SANCHO'S thirst drove him to use his instincts in search for drink. He judged by the rank grass that there must be water nearby. So, leading their mounts, Don Quixote and Sancho came in the darkness to a meadow, and they had gone only a short distance when they heard the welcome sound of falling water. Then suddenly a most tremendous, ear-splitting noise came out of the darkness, a din like the beating of gigantic hammers, and added to this a shifting wind. All these furious sounds, the mystery of them, and the blackness of the night, might have intimidated any heart, however stout; but it only made Don Quixote leap like a flash upon his horse. Turning to Sancho, he cried: "I am he who is to revive the Knights of the Round Table, the Twelve of France, and the Nine Worthies; he who is to consign to oblivion the whole herd of famous knights errant of days gone by; he for whom all great perils and mighty deeds are reserved. Therefore, tighten Rocinante's girth a little, and God be with thee! Wait for me three days and no more. If in that time I come not back, thou canst return to our village, and thence thou wilt go to El Toboso, where thou shalt [Pg 63] say to my incomparable Lady Dulcinea that her captive knight hath died in attempting things that might make him worthy of being called her own."

SANCHO's thirst drove him to trust his instincts in search of a drink. He figured that the thick grass meant there had to be water nearby. So, leading their horses, Don Quixote and Sancho made their way through the darkness to a meadow. They hadn’t gone far when they heard the welcome sound of water falling. Suddenly, a deafening, thunderous noise erupted from the darkness, like the sound of massive hammers, along with a gusting wind. All these furious sounds, the mystery of them, and the pitch-black night might have scared anyone, no matter how brave; but it only made Don Quixote spring onto his horse in excitement. Turning to Sancho, he shouted: "I am the one who will revive the Knights of the Round Table, the Twelve of France, and the Nine Worthies; I will make the famous knights-errant of the past forgotten; I am the one destined for all great dangers and heroic deeds. So, tighten Rocinante's girth a bit, and God be with you! Wait for me three days, and no more. If I don’t come back by then, you can return to our village, and from there you will go to El Toboso, where you will tell my incomparable Lady Dulcinea that her captive knight has died trying to achieve things that might make him worthy of being called hers."

These words made Sancho weep copious tears, and he begged his master not to undertake so dreadful an adventure. He even offered to sacrifice himself to such an extent as to go without water for three days, if his master would only return. When Don Quixote was firm in his resolve, Sancho decided that this was a case where the ends justified the means; therefore while tightening Rocinante's girth, he tied the horse's forelegs, so that when Don Quixote was going to ride off, his charger could move only by fits and starts. The more his rider spurred him, the more impossible it became for Rocinante to stir. Sancho had no great difficulty in persuading his master that this was a sign from above that he ought not to pursue any phantom adventure at that hour of the night, but wait until daybreak. Don Quixote resigned himself to do so, although it nearly made him weep, while Sancho tried to soothe his outraged feelings by telling amusing stories in a laborious way.

These words made Sancho cry a lot, and he begged his master not to take on such a terrible adventure. He even offered to go without water for three days if it meant his master would just come back. When Don Quixote remained determined, Sancho figured this was a situation where the ends justified the means; so while tightening Rocinante's saddle, he tied the horse's front legs, so that when Don Quixote tried to ride off, his horse could only move in jerks. The more his rider urged him on, the harder it became for Rocinante to move. Sancho had no trouble convincing his master that this was a sign from above that he shouldn’t chase any ghostly adventure at that late hour, but should wait until morning. Don Quixote reluctantly agreed, though it almost made him cry, while Sancho tried to ease his hurt feelings by telling goofy stories in an awkward way.

At daybreak Sancho stole over to Rocinante and untied his legs. The horse immediately became spirited, and when Don Quixote saw this, he believed it a sign from heaven. Again he took a touching leave of his squire—who began to cry, as he had done before—and gave the spur to his steed. Sancho was resolved to follow his master to the end, so he took his donkey by the halter, as was his custom, and led him on foot in pursuit of his knight errant. [Pg 64]

At dawn, Sancho quietly went over to Rocinante and untied his legs. The horse immediately perked up, and when Don Quixote saw this, he took it as a sign from above. Once again, he said an emotional goodbye to his squire—who started to cry, just like before—and urged his horse forward. Sancho was determined to follow his master to the very end, so he took his donkey by the rope, as he always did, and walked alongside him in pursuit of his knight-errant. [Pg 64]

They passed through a meadow that was fringed with trees, then came upon some huge rocks with cascades of water pouring over them. Below stood a row of dilapidated houses. It was from these houses that the din and noise emanated. As Rocinante came close to the racket, he began to make hysterical movements, pirouetting backward and forward, and Don Quixote crossed himself, commending himself to God and his Lady Dulcinea.

They walked through a meadow lined with trees, then arrived at some giant rocks with waterfalls cascading over them. Below, there was a row of rundown houses. It was from these houses that the loud noise was coming. As Rocinante approached the commotion, he started to act nervously, spinning backward and forward, and Don Quixote crossed himself, asking for God's protection and that of his Lady Dulcinea.

Coming up cautiously from behind the houses, Don Quixote peered around the corner, and there beheld the cause of the awe-inspiring din—six hammers of the kind that were used in mills.

Coming up carefully from behind the houses, Don Quixote looked around the corner and saw the source of the loud noise—six hammers like the ones used in mills.

Sancho could not help himself. He burst into uncontrollable laughter, shaking from head to foot. Don Quixote was mortified with shame and astonishment. And when he heard Sancho's laughter behind him, he broke into a rage, during which he repeated almost every word he had spoken the night before, when he was about to ride away to adventure on a three-legged horse. But Sancho was helpless. Four distinct times he broke into a fit of mirth, and finally his master struck him a blow on the body with his spear. Then he calmed down, and Don Quixote scolded him for his hilarity, saying that no such familiarity would be tolerated in the future. He quoted various chapters from books of chivalry, and cited Gandalin, squire to Amadis of Gaul. There, he said, was a model squire, for he would always address his lord with cap in hand, his head bowed down and his body bent double. And there were many others to look to. He mentioned a few, the most shining examples. Then he decreed that from that [Pg 65] day on respect must be the barrier between squire and knight in all their intercourse. He spoke also about his squire's wages and the treasures and islands that were to be his in time to come. He told Sancho not to worry, for if he should not pay him his wages, he had at any rate mentioned him in his will. From the first he had considered everything; he knew the world, and what a hazardous task he had set before himself.

Sancho couldn’t help himself. He burst into uncontrollable laughter, shaking from head to toe. Don Quixote was mortified with shame and astonishment. And when he heard Sancho's laughter behind him, he exploded in anger, repeating almost every word he had said the night before when he was about to ride off on a three-legged horse. But Sancho was powerless. Four different times he burst into laughter, and finally, his master struck him with his spear. Then he calmed down, and Don Quixote scolded him for being so cheerful, saying that such familiarity wouldn’t be tolerated in the future. He quoted various chapters from books on chivalry and mentioned Gandalin, the squire of Amadis of Gaul. There, he said, was a role model for a squire, as he would always address his lord with his cap in hand, his head bowed, and his body bent. And there were many others to look up to. He mentioned a few, the most notable examples. Then he declared that from that day on, respect must be the barrier between squire and knight in all their interactions. He also talked about his squire's wages and the treasures and islands that would belong to him in time. He reassured Sancho not to worry, because if he didn’t pay him his wages, he at least mentioned him in his will. From the start, he had considered everything; he understood the world and the risky task he had chosen for himself.


CHAPTER XXI

Which Treats of the Exalted Adventure and Rich Prize of Mambrino's Helmet, Together with Other Things That Happened to Our Invincible Knight

IT started to rain, and Sancho suggested the fulling-mills as a place of refuge; but Don Quixote had taken such an aversion to them that he would not listen to it, and they continued riding, taking the roadway.

IT started to rain, and Sancho suggested the fulling mills as a place to take shelter; but Don Quixote had developed such a dislike for them that he refused to consider it, and they continued riding along the road.

Suddenly they saw a man on horseback, who had on his head something that shone like gold, and at once Don Quixote exclaimed: "There comes towards us one who wears on his head the helmet of Mambrino, concerning which I took the oath thou rememberest."

Suddenly, they spotted a man on horseback wearing something that glimmered like gold on his head, and Don Quixote immediately exclaimed, "Here comes someone wearing the helmet of Mambrino, the one I swore an oath about that you remember."

Sancho's only reply to this was that he did not want anything more to do with any fulling-mills; and his master entirely failed to fathom the connection. Sancho then said he could plainly see that the man's horse was an ass and that the man had something on his head that shone. [Pg 66]

Sancho's only response was that he didn't want anything to do with any fulling mills anymore, and his master completely misunderstood the connection. Sancho then pointed out that it was obvious the man's horse was actually a donkey, and the man was wearing something shiny on his head. [Pg 66]

The truth of the matter was that in the neighborhood were two villages so small that the apothecary and barbershop in one of them had to serve for both. The village barber had just been summoned to shave and bleed a patient in the adjoining community, so he mounted his ass, armed with a brass basin for the bleeding, and set off. He had got about half-way, when it commenced to rain. Having a new hat, he covered it with the clean basin, that glittered like gold.

The reality was that there were two tiny villages in the area, so the apothecary and barbershop in one had to serve both. The village barber had just been called to shave and bleed a patient in the neighboring village, so he hopped on his donkey, carrying a brass basin for the bleeding, and took off. He was about halfway there when it started to rain. Since he had a new hat, he protected it with the clean basin, which shone like gold.

But Don Quixote had more sense than his squire, of course, and pursued the unknown knight with the helmet at Rocinante's wildest gallop. When the fear-stricken barber realized that Don Quixote's uplifted spear was aimed at him, he promptly threw himself from his ass and ran all the way home without stopping, leaving his brass basin behind as a trophy for our hero, who could not understand why this helmet had no visor.

But Don Quixote was smarter than his squire, of course, and chased the unknown knight at Rocinante's fastest gallop. When the terrified barber saw that Don Quixote had raised his spear at him, he quickly jumped off his donkey and ran all the way home without looking back, leaving his brass basin behind as a trophy for our hero, who couldn't figure out why this helmet didn't have a visor.

"That pagan must have had a very large head," remarked Don Quixote, turning the basin round and round, trying to fit it to his own head, now this way, now that.

"That pagan must have had a really big head," Don Quixote said, twisting the basin around and around, trying to fit it to his own head, this way and that.

"It looks exactly like a barber's basin," said Sancho Panza, who had all he could do to keep from bursting into laughter.

"It looks just like a barber's basin," said Sancho Panza, barely able to hold back his laughter.

Don Quixote treated this blasphemous thought with scorn, and said he would stop at the next smithy to have its shape changed. His next concern was his stomach; and when they found that the barber's ass carried ample supplies, they soon satisfied their appetites. Sancho now turned the conversation to the rest of the spoils of war; but Don Quixote was unable to make up his mind that [Pg 67] it was chivalrous to exchange a bad ass for a good one, as was his squire's wish; so Sancho had to satisfy himself with the barber's trappings.

Don Quixote dismissed this blasphemous thought with disdain and said he would stop at the next blacksmith to change its shape. His next worry was his stomach; when they discovered that the barber's donkey had plenty of supplies, they quickly satisfied their hunger. Sancho then shifted the conversation to the rest of the spoils of their adventures, but Don Quixote couldn't convince himself that it was honorable to trade a bad donkey for a good one, as his squire hoped; so Sancho had to settle for the barber's supplies.

Then they set out again. Soon Sancho felt the need of unburdening something he had had on his heart for some time. He suggested that instead of roaming about seeking adventures which no one ever witnessed and which therefore remained unsung and unheralded, they go and serve some great emperor engaged in war, so that their achievements and valor might go down to posterity. This struck a resonant chord in his master's heart. In fact, he went into raptures over it, and commenced to rant about all the great honors the future had in store for the Knight of the Rueful Countenance. He cunningly surmised that their first task would be to find a king who had an uncommonly beautiful daughter, for of course he had to marry a princess first of all. The plan excited him to such an extent that for a moment he forgot about the existence of his Dulcinea. The only thing that worried him was his royal lineage; he could not think of any emperor or king whose second cousin he might be. Yet he decided not to trouble too much about that; for were there not two kinds of lineages in the world? And Love always worked wonders: it had since the beginning of time. What would the princess care, if he were a water-carrier's son? And if his future father-in-law should object, all he would have to do would be to carry her off by force.

Then they set out again. Soon, Sancho felt the need to share something that had been on his mind for a while. He suggested that instead of wandering around looking for adventures that no one ever saw and therefore would go unrecognized, they should go serve some great emperor involved in a war, so their accomplishments and bravery would be remembered. This idea resonated deeply with his master. In fact, he became ecstatic about it and began to rave about all the great honors that awaited the Knight of the Rueful Countenance in the future. He cleverly guessed that their first task would be to find a king with an exceptionally beautiful daughter, because, of course, he had to marry a princess first. The plan excited him so much that for a moment he forgot about his Dulcinea. The only thing that troubled him was his royal lineage; he couldn't think of any emperor or king to whom he might be a second cousin. But he decided not to worry too much about that; after all, weren't there two kinds of bloodlines in the world? And Love always performed miracles: it had been doing so since the dawn of time. What would the princess care if he was a water-carrier's son? And if his future father-in-law objected, all he would have to do was carry her off by force.

As Don Quixote went on picturing himself in the most romantic rôles in the history of this as yet unknown kingdom, [Pg 68] Sancho began to think it was time for him to be considered as well, when it came to bestowals of honor. Once he had been beadle of a brotherhood, and he had looked so well in a beadle's gown, he said, that he was afraid his wife would burst with pride when she saw him in a duke's robe, with gold and lace and precious stones. Don Quixote thought so, too, but admonished him that he would have to shave his beard oftener, as it was most unkempt. Sancho replied that would be an easy matter, for he would have a barber of his own, as well as an equerry; he knew that all men of fame kept such a man, for once in Madrid he had seen a gentleman followed by a man on horseback as if he had been his tail. He inquired why the gentleman was being followed in that manner and learned it was his equerry. Don Quixote thought Sancho's idea to have a barber was an excellent one, and Sancho urged his master to make haste and find him his island, that he might roll in his glory as a count or a duke.

As Don Quixote imagined himself in the most romantic roles in the history of this still-unknown kingdom, [Pg 68] Sancho started to think it was time for him to be considered for some honors too. He had once been the beadle of a brotherhood and had looked so good in the beadle's outfit that he worried his wife would burst with pride when she saw him in a duke's robe, adorned with gold, lace, and precious stones. Don Quixote agreed, but told him he would need to shave his beard more often since it was quite unkempt. Sancho replied that wouldn’t be a problem because he would have his own barber, as well as an equerry; he knew that all famous men had such a servant. Once in Madrid, he had seen a gentleman being followed by a man on horseback as if he were his shadow. He asked why the gentleman was followed like that and found out it was his equerry. Don Quixote thought Sancho's idea of having a barber was brilliant, and Sancho urged his master to hurry and find him his island so he could bask in his glory as a count or a duke.


CHAPTER XXII

Of the Freedom Don Quixote Conferred on Several Unfortunates Who Against Their Will Were Being Carried Where They Had No Wish to Go

HARDLY had they finished their conversation, when a gang of convicts came along on the road, guarded by two men on horseback and two on foot.

HARDLY had they finished their conversation when a group of convicts walked by on the road, guarded by two men on horseback and two on foot.

"Galley-slaves," remarked Sancho Panza laconically.

"Galley slaves," remarked Sancho Panza laconically.

"If they are going against their own free will, it is a case [Pg 69] for the exercise of my office," answered Don Quixote.

"If they are acting against their own free will, it is a situation [Pg 69] for me to use my authority," replied Don Quixote.

He approached their custodians and asked to know what crimes these men had committed against his majesty the King. They answered it was not his business.

He went up to their guards and asked what crimes these men had committed against his majesty the King. They replied that it wasn’t his concern.

"Nevertheless, I should like to know," insisted Don Quixote, and he used such choice and magic language that one of the guards was induced to give him permission to ask each one of the men about his crime and sentence.

"Still, I’d really like to know," Don Quixote insisted, using such eloquent and captivating language that one of the guards was persuaded to let him ask each of the men about their crimes and sentences.

Don Quixote had questioned every one but the twelfth, and when he came to him he found that he was chained in a way different from the rest. This prisoner was a man of thirty, and crossed-eyed. His body was weighted down by very large irons and especially heavy chains, his hands were padlocked and so secured he could not raise them. Don Quixote asked why he was thus overburdened, and got the reply that he had committed more crimes than all the rest together. The guard then told the knight that the man had written a story of his unfinished life, and that he was no other than the famous Gines de Pasamonte. The culprit strongly objected to hearing his identity mentioned, and there ensued a furious battle of words between him and the guard. The latter lost his temper and was about to strike the slave a blow, when Don Quixote interfered, and pleaded for more kindly treatment. It seemed only fair to him that they, with their hands tied, might be permitted a free tongue. He grew fiery in his defense of them, reminded the guard that there was a God in heaven who would punish all sinners. He ended by requesting their immediate release. [Pg 70]

Don Quixote had questioned everyone except the twelfth, and when he got to him, he found that he was chained in a different way than the others. This prisoner was a man about thirty years old and cross-eyed. His body was weighed down by huge irons and especially heavy chains, and his hands were padlocked, making it impossible for him to raise them. Don Quixote asked why he was so burdened and learned that he had committed more crimes than all the others combined. The guard then told the knight that the man had written a story about his unfinished life, and that he was none other than the famous Gines de Pasamonte. The prisoner strongly objected to his identity being mentioned, leading to a heated argument between him and the guard. The guard lost his temper and was about to hit the slave when Don Quixote intervened, asking for kinder treatment. It seemed only fair to him that they, with their hands tied, should be allowed to speak freely. He became passionate in his defense of them, reminding the guard that there is a God in heaven who would punish all sinners. He concluded by requesting their immediate release. [Pg 70]

This demand seemed worse than absurd to the guard, who wished him godspeed on his journey, advised him to put the basin straight on his head, and told him not to go looking for trouble. This was too much for our knight. He set upon his jesting adversary with such speed and suddenness that the musket fell out of the guard's hand. And the other guards were so taken aback at what was going on, and there was such confusion, that they did not notice Sancho untying the arch-criminal Gines. They suddenly saw him free, and with him the rest of the slaves, who had broken the chain; whereupon the guards fled in all directions as fast as their legs could carry them.

This demand felt even more ridiculous to the guard, who wished him well on his journey, told him to place the basin right on his head, and warned him not to go looking for trouble. This was too much for our knight. He charged at his mocking opponent with such speed and surprise that the musket slipped from the guard's grip. The other guards were so caught off guard by the chaos that they didn’t notice Sancho freeing the main criminal Gines. Suddenly, they saw him free, along with the other slaves who had broken their chains; at that point, the guards ran off in every direction as fast as they could.

When the fray was over, Don Quixote asked the galley-slaves to gather around him, and to show him reverence for the deed he had done. He further demanded that they, armed with their chains, proceed in a body, to El Toboso to pay their respects to the fair Dulcinea. Gines attempted to explain the necessity of each one hiding himself, separately, in order to escape the pursuers, and offered to send up prayers for her instead; but Don Quixote would not listen to any argument. At last Gines decided he was quite mad, and when Don Quixote started to abuse him, he lost his temper, and they all attacked the knight with a rain of stones, until Rocinante and he both fell to the ground. There they belabored him savagely. Sancho had taken refuge behind his donkey, but the convicts found him, stripped him of his jacket, and left him shivering in the cold.

When the fight was over, Don Quixote asked the galley slaves to gather around him and show him respect for what he had done. He insisted that they, still chained, go together to El Toboso to pay their respects to the beautiful Dulcinea. Gines tried to explain that each of them needed to hide separately to avoid being caught, and offered to pray for her instead; but Don Quixote wouldn't listen to any reasons. Eventually, Gines figured he was completely crazy, and when Don Quixote started to insult him, he lost it, and they all began to throw stones at the knight until Rocinante and he both fell to the ground. They then started to beat him mercilessly. Sancho had taken cover behind his donkey, but the convicts found him, stripped off his jacket, and left him shivering in the cold.

While Don Quixote lay there, fearing the vengeance of the law and the Holy Brotherhood for what he had [Pg 71] done, he was also reviewing in rage the ingratitude of mankind and the perversity of the iron age.

While Don Quixote lay there, afraid of the repercussions from the law and the Holy Brotherhood for what he had done, he was also furiously reflecting on the ingratitude of humanity and the wickedness of the iron age.


CHAPTER XXIII

Of What Befell Don Quixote in the Sierra Morena, Which Is One of the Rarest Adventures Related in This Veracious History

SANCHO at last convinced his master that they had best hide in the Sierra Morena mountains for a few days, in case a search should be made for them; and Don Quixote was pleased to find that the provisions carried by Sancho's ass had not disappeared. When night fell they took refuge under some cork-trees between two rocks. Fate would have it that to this very place should come that night the convict Gines. While Sancho was slumbering peacefully, Gines stole his ass; and by daybreak the thief was already far away. Don Quixote, awakened by sorrowful wailing, in order to console his squire, promised him three of his ass-colts at home in exchange. Then Sancho's tears stopped. But he now had to travel on foot behind his master, and he tried to keep up his humor by munching the provisions it had become his lot to carry.

SANCHO finally convinced his master that it would be best to hide in the Sierra Morena mountains for a few days, just in case someone came looking for them; and Don Quixote was happy to see that the supplies carried by Sancho's donkey were still intact. When night fell, they took shelter under some cork trees between two rocks. Fate had it that the convict Gines would also arrive at that spot that night. While Sancho was sleeping soundly, Gines stole his donkey; by dawn, the thief was already far away. Don Quixote, awakened by Sancho’s sorrowful crying, promised to give him three of his donkey's foals in exchange to comfort him. That made Sancho stop crying. However, he now had to walk behind his master, trying to keep his spirits up by munching on the supplies he had to carry.

Suddenly he observed that his master had halted, and was poking with his lance into some object lying on the road. He quickly ran up to him and found an old saddle-pad with a torn knapsack tied to it. Sancho opened it covetously and came upon four shirts of excellent material, [Pg 72] articles of linen, nearly a hundred gold crowns in a handkerchief, and a richly bound little memorandum book. The little volume was all that Don Quixote kept for himself. Brimful of curiosity, he read it through and learned that it contained the bemoanings of a rejected lover.

Suddenly, he noticed that his master had stopped and was poking at something on the road with his lance. He quickly ran over and found an old saddle pad with a torn knapsack attached. Sancho opened it eagerly and discovered four shirts made of fine fabric, [Pg 72] several linen items, nearly a hundred gold crowns in a handkerchief, and a beautifully bound little notebook. That little book was all Don Quixote kept for himself. Filled with curiosity, he read through it and found it contained the lamentations of a rejected lover.

Meantime Sancho Panza's great discovery of the gold coins had entirely banished from his memory all the suffering and pain and humiliation he had had to go through since he had became a squire. But Don Quixote was anxious to find out something about the owner of the knapsack, for he was convinced there was some very strange adventure connected with his disappearance. And as he was planning what to do, he perceived on the summit of a great height, a man, half-naked, jumping with remarkable swiftness and agility from rock to rock.

In the meantime, Sancho Panza's big discovery of the gold coins had completely erased all the suffering, pain, and humiliation he had experienced since becoming a squire. But Don Quixote was eager to learn more about the owner of the knapsack, convinced there was a strange adventure tied to his disappearance. As he was figuring out what to do, he noticed a man, half-naked, leaping with incredible speed and agility from rock to rock at the top of a high height.

Don Quixote saw no way of getting there, so he stood for some time pondering what to do. Then he saw above him on the mountainside a flock of goats, tended by an elderly goatherd. Calling to him, the knight asked him to come down, and the old man descended, amazed at seeing human beings there. Don Quixote immediately began to ask about the strange half-naked man he had seen, and the goatherd told what he knew of him and the mystery of the knapsack.

Don Quixote couldn't figure out how to get there, so he spent some time thinking about what to do. Then he spotted a herd of goats on the mountainside, looked after by an old goatherd. He called out to him, and the old man came down, surprised to see people there. Don Quixote quickly started asking about the strange half-naked man he had seen, and the goatherd shared what he knew about him and the mystery of the knapsack.

The stranger, he said, was a youth of good looks and no doubt of high birth, who had lost his wits because of the faithlessness of a friend. His behavior was such that they had never seen the like of it. In fits of madness he would approach people, snatch away food offered him out of their hands, and then run away with the speed of a deer. Then [Pg 73] again he would come begging for food, the tears flowing down his cheeks.

The stranger, he said, was a handsome young man, clearly from a noble background, who had lost his mind due to the betrayal of a friend. His actions were unlike anything they had ever witnessed. In moments of madness, he would approach people, grab food right out of their hands, and then take off as quickly as a deer. Then, again, he would come back asking for food, tears streaming down his face.

Now, while they were standing there discussing the young man, chance would have it that he came along, and greeted them courteously. Don Quixote returned his greeting with grand gestures, descended from Rocinante's tired back, and advanced to the youth with open arms. He held him in his embrace for some time, as if he had known him forever. Finally the youth tore away and, placing his hands on the shoulders of the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, the youth, who might be called the Ragged One of the Sorry Countenance, looked into his eyes and spoke to him.

Now, while they were standing there talking about the young man, by chance he showed up and greeted them politely. Don Quixote responded with grand gestures, got down from Rocinante's weary back, and approached the young man with open arms. He embraced him for a while, as if they had been friends forever. Finally, the young man pulled away and, placing his hands on the shoulders of the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, who could be called the Ragged One of the Sorry Countenance, looked into his eyes and spoke to him.


CHAPTER XXIV

In Which Is Continued the Adventure of the Sierra Morena

THE Ragged One thanked Don Quixote for being so kind and courteous; and Don Quixote replied that his duty to the world consisted in giving succor to those in despair and need. He implored the youth to tell him the name of the one who had caused his misfortune, that he might revenge him. The Ragged One stared at him strangely and said: "If you will give me to eat, I will tell you my story."

THE Ragged One thanked Don Quixote for being so kind and polite; and Don Quixote replied that his duty to the world was to help those in despair and need. He urged the young man to tell him the name of the person who had caused his misfortune, so he could take revenge. The Ragged One looked at him strangely and said: "If you give me something to eat, I’ll tell you my story."

Sancho and the goatherd gave the youth something to appease his hunger; and he ate it ravenously. When he [Pg 74] had finished, he motioned to them to follow him, and they came to a spot where green grass grew and all stretched themselves on the ground in silence. Before he began his story, the youth warned them not to interrupt him, for then it would come to an end. Don Quixote promised solemnly for all of them.

Sancho and the goatherd gave the young man something to satisfy his hunger, and he devoured it eagerly. When he was done, he signaled for them to follow him, and they went to a place where green grass was growing and all lay down on the ground in silence. Before starting his story, the young man cautioned them not to interrupt him, as that would make it end. Don Quixote promised seriously on behalf of all of them.

The youth told of his love for one Luscinda, and how his best friend, Don Fernando, son of a grandee of Spain, had stolen her love away from him; but suddenly he was interrupted by Don Quixote, and refused to continue. Whereupon Don Quixote nearly lost his senses—for his curiosity was aroused beyond words—and called the Ragged One a villain.

The young man spoke about his love for a girl named Luscinda and how his best friend, Don Fernando, who was the son of a Spanish nobleman, had taken her love from him; but then he was suddenly interrupted by Don Quixote and decided not to continue. This drove Don Quixote nearly to madness—his curiosity was beyond anything he could express—and he called the Ragged One a villain.

The Ragged One broke into a violent fit when he heard himself called names and picked up a stone which he hurled against the knight errant's breast with such force that it placed him flat on his back. Seeing this, Sancho Panza flew at the madman; but the youth seemed to possess supernatural strength, for he felled Sancho to the ground with one single blow, and then jumped on his chest and buckled his ribs. Having also beaten the old goatherd, he went into the woods again.

The Ragged One erupted in a violent rage when he heard insults thrown at him and grabbed a stone, which he threw at the knight errant's chest with such force that it knocked him flat on his back. Seeing this, Sancho Panza rushed at the madman; however, the young man appeared to have superhuman strength, as he took Sancho down with just one punch and then jumped on his chest, crushing his ribs. After also attacking the old goatherd, he retreated back into the woods.

When Sancho had seen the last of him, he turned loose his rage on the poor old goatherd, whom he cursed for not having warned them that the youth might be taken with fits. Words led to blows; the two grabbed each other by their beards, and had it not been for Don Quixote, their fray might have had a sad ending. He calmed his squire by absolving the old man of all blame. Then he asked him—for he was still aching with curiosity to learn the end of [Pg 75] the story—whether he knew where he might find Cardenio (that being the youth's name). The goatherd answered that if he remained in the neighborhood long enough he could not help meeting him; but as to his mood, he could not answer for that.

When Sancho finally saw the last of him, he unleashed his anger on the poor old goatherd, cursing him for not warning them that the young man might have fits. Words quickly escalated into blows; the two grabbed each other by their beards, and if it weren't for Don Quixote, their fight might have ended badly. He calmed his squire by clearing the old man of any blame. Then he asked him—still eager to find out how the story ended—if he knew where to find Cardenio (that was the young man's name). The goatherd replied that if he stayed in the area long enough, he would likely run into him; but as for Cardenio's mood, he couldn't guarantee anything.


CHAPTER XXV

Which Treats of the Strange Things That Happened to the Stout Knight of La Mancha in the Sierra Morena

DON QUIXOTE and Sancho Panza now made their way into unknown regions of the mountains, Sancho trailing behind his master, on foot, silent, and in bad humor. Finally he requested his master's permission to say what was in his heart, and Don Quixote removed the ban under which his squire was suffering. Sancho asked for the knight's blessing and begged leave to return to his wife and home; but his master could not make up his mind until he hit upon a great inspiration, the carrying out of which made necessary his using Sancho as a messenger to his incomparable Dulcinea.

DON QUIXOTE and Sancho Panza were now venturing into uncharted parts of the mountains, with Sancho following behind his master, walking, quiet, and in a bad mood. Eventually, he asked his master for permission to express what he was feeling, and Don Quixote lifted the ban that had been placed on him. Sancho sought the knight’s blessing and requested to return to his wife and home; but his master couldn’t decide until he came up with a brilliant idea that required using Sancho as a messenger to his beloved Dulcinea.

Don Quixote, in short, had decided to go mad, in emulation of other bold knights, such as Roland and Amadis—a decision that extracted from Sancho Panza some muttered words to the effect that any one who could mistake a barber's basin for a gold helmet could not go much madder. And then Don Quixote explained to what sufferings, [Pg 76] sorrow, penance, and folly he would subject himself; and quite unintentionally he revealed to Sancho the real identity of his famous Lady Dulcinea, whom Sancho had always thought a princess. Now the good squire learned to his dismay that the famous Dulcinea was no other than Lorenzo Corchuelo's daughter, Aldonza Lorenzo, a lady with manners like a man, and a man's ability to handle a crowbar easily.

Don Quixote had decided to go crazy, following the examples of other bold knights like Roland and Amadis—a choice that made Sancho Panza mumble that anyone who could confuse a barber's basin for a gold helmet couldn't get much crazier. Then Don Quixote described the sufferings, sorrow, penance, and folly he would put himself through; and quite accidentally, he revealed to Sancho the true identity of his beloved Lady Dulcinea, whom Sancho had always believed to be a princess. To his shock, Sancho learned that the famous Dulcinea was actually Aldonza Lorenzo, the daughter of Lorenzo Corchuelo, a woman with the demeanor of a man and the ability to swing a crowbar like a pro.

When Don Quixote had determined upon his penance in the wilderness, all for the sake of Dulcinea, he thought it would be a good idea to make known to her the sacrifices and sufferings he was about to undergo for her sake. Therefore he granted his squire the requested permission to return to his family, and bade him speed homeward on Rocinante, so that he himself, horseless, might undergo an even greater penance. He sent a letter by Sancho to his fair one, relating to her the pain of his wounded heart; a pain enhanced by self-inflicted absence and to be ended only by death, to satisfy her cruelty.

When Don Quixote decided to do his penance in the wilderness for Dulcinea, he thought it would be a good idea to let her know about the sacrifices and suffering he was about to endure for her. So, he gave his squire permission to return to his family and sent him home on Rocinante, so that he could go without a horse and face an even greater penance himself. He sent a letter with Sancho to his beloved, sharing the pain of his broken heart; a pain made worse by his self-imposed absence and that could only end with his death, to appease her cruelty.

Sancho's covetousness did not permit his master to forget the three promised ass-colts; so Don Quixote wrote an order to his niece in the notebook of the ill-starred Cardenio.

Sancho's greed wouldn’t let his master forget about the three promised colts, so Don Quixote wrote a note to his niece in the notebook of the unfortunate Cardenio.

Before they parted, Don Quixote asked Sancho to stay and see some of the insanities he meant to perform in his absence. He then stripped to the skin and went through some remarkable capers before his squire. This exhibition nearly brought tears to Sancho's eyes, and he besought him to stop. And when he expressed a fear that he would not be able to find his way back, Don Quixote assured him [Pg 77] that he would remain in that very spot, or thereabouts, until the squire returned from El Toboso; and he told him also to cut some branches and strew them in his path. Furthermore he said he would be on the lookout for him from the peak of the highest cliff.

Before they parted, Don Quixote asked Sancho to stick around and watch some of the crazy things he planned to do while he was gone. He then stripped down and performed some incredible stunts in front of his squire. This show nearly brought tears to Sancho's eyes, and he begged him to stop. When Sancho said he was worried he wouldn’t be able to find his way back, Don Quixote reassured him that he would stay right there, or nearby, until Sancho returned from El Toboso. He also told him to break off some branches and scatter them in his path. Furthermore, he said he would keep an eye out for him from the highest cliff.

When Sancho finally took leave of his master, he felt that he could swear with unprotesting conscience that his beloved master was quite mad.

When Sancho finally said goodbye to his master, he felt he could honestly swear that his beloved master was completely crazy.


CHAPTER XXVI

In Which Are Continued the Refinements Wherewith Don Quixote Played the Part of a Lover in the Sierra Morena

SOON after Sancho had gone, Don Quixote came to the conclusion that the exercises he was putting himself through were much too hard and troublesome. So he decided to change them, and instead of imitating Roland and his fury, he turned to the more melancholy Amadis, whose madness was of a much milder form and needed a less strenuous outlet. But to imitate Amadis, he had to have a rosary, and he had none. For a moment he was in a quandary; but a miracle gave him the inspiration to use the tail of his shirt—which was too long anyhow—and tearing off a long piece, on which he made eleven knots, he repeated quantities of credos and ave-marias on it, there in the wilderness. His love would at times drive him to write verses to his cruel and beloved one on the bark of [Pg 78] the trees, all the while he would make moaning sounds of lovesickness. Again he would go about sighing, singing, calling to the nymphs and fauns and satyrs, and, of course, looking for herbs to nourish himself with.

SOON after Sancho left, Don Quixote concluded that the exercises he was putting himself through were way too hard and bothersome. So, he decided to switch things up, and instead of imitating Roland and his rage, he turned to the more somber Amadis, whose madness was much gentler and needed a less intense outlet. But to imitate Amadis, he needed a rosary, and he didn’t have one. For a moment, he was stuck; but then a miracle inspired him to use the tail of his shirt—which was already too long—and tearing off a long piece, on which he made eleven knots, he recited lots of credos and ave-marias right there in the wilderness. His love would sometimes drive him to write verses to his cruel beloved on the bark of the trees, all while he made moaning sounds of lovesickness. Again, he would wander around sighing, singing, calling to the nymphs, fauns, and satyrs, and, of course, searching for herbs to sustain himself.

But while Don Quixote exiled himself in the wilds, his servant Sancho Panza was making for El Toboso. On the second day he found himself at the inn at which the incident of his blanket journey had taken place. The smell of food reminded him that it was dinner time; yet he hesitated about entering. As he was standing there, along came two men; and one of them was heard to say: "Is not that Sancho Panza?" "So it is," said the other one; and it turned out to be the curate and the barber of Don Quixote's own village.

But while Don Quixote isolated himself in the wilderness, his servant Sancho Panza was heading to El Toboso. On the second day, he arrived at the inn where the incident of his blanket journey had happened. The smell of food reminded him that it was dinner time; still, he hesitated to go inside. As he stood there, two men approached, and one of them said, "Isn't that Sancho Panza?" "It is indeed," replied the other, and it turned out to be the curate and the barber from Don Quixote's own village.

At once they approached him. They asked him about his master, but it was not until they had threatened to believe that he had robbed and murdered Don Quixote—for was he not mounted on Rocinante?—that he divulged the secret of his master's hiding-place. He told them of everything; even about his master's strange and unbounded love for the daughter of Lorenzo Corchuelo and the letter he had written to her. When the curate asked to see it, Sancho could not find it; and then he suddenly remembered that Don Quixote had given him neither the letter nor the order for the ass-colts. He turned pale and green, and beat his chest frantically, but it produced no miracle. The curate and the barber told him that the only thing to do was to find Don Quixote and get him to write them anew; and the thought of losing the ass-colts made Sancho only too anxious to return. [Pg 79]

They approached him immediately. They asked about his master, but it wasn't until they threatened to accuse him of robbing and murdering Don Quixote—after all, wasn't he riding Rocinante?—that he revealed where his master was hiding. He shared everything, including Don Quixote's strange and deep love for Lorenzo Corchuelo's daughter and the letter he had written to her. When the curate asked to see it, Sancho couldn't find it; then he suddenly remembered that Don Quixote hadn't given him the letter or the order for the donkey colts. He turned pale and anxious, beating his chest in despair, but nothing miraculous happened. The curate and the barber told him that the only option was to find Don Quixote and ask him to write it again; the thought of losing the donkey colts only made Sancho more eager to hurry back. [Pg 79]

When the squire had been comforted somewhat, he tried to recite Don Quixote's epistle of love; and his recital amused the two friends to such a degree that he had to repeat it thrice, each time adding new absurdities. Finally they invited him to come into the inn and eat, while they talked over the journey to their friend's wilderness paradise of penitence. Sancho was quick to refuse; but he gave no reason for so doing. He said he preferred to eat outside and asked that they bring him the food, and also some barley for Rocinante.

When the squire felt a bit better, he tried to recite Don Quixote's love letter, and it made his two friends laugh so much that he had to repeat it three times, each time adding more ridiculousness. Eventually, they invited him to come inside the inn to eat while they discussed their journey to their friend's remote paradise of penance. Sancho quickly declined, but he didn’t give a reason. He said he preferred to eat outside and asked them to bring him his food, along with some barley for Rocinante.

While the barber was serving Sancho and Rocinante, the curate was developing a plan of strategy which was unanimously adopted by all concerned. It was arranged that the curate should invade the region of knightly penitence, dressed as an innocent-looking maiden with a masked countenance; while his friend the barber should appear on the scene behaving like a squire. The bogus maiden should be in great distress and ask for protection, when Don Quixote, valiant knight that he was, would be sure to give it. She would then beg him to shield her on her journey, and, as a favor, to ask her no questions regarding her identity, until she was safely at home. Once they had him there, they would try to find a cure for his strange madness. [Pg 80]

While the barber was helping Sancho and Rocinante, the curate was coming up with a strategy that everyone agreed on. They planned for the curate to disguise himself as an innocent-looking maiden with a masked face, while his friend the barber would act as a squire. The fake maiden would be in serious distress and would ask for protection, leading Don Quixote, being the brave knight he was, to offer it without hesitation. She would then request that he protect her on her journey and, as a favor, not to ask any questions about her identity until she was safely home. Once they got him there, they would try to find a way to cure his strange madness. [Pg 80]


CHAPTER XXVII

Of How the Curate and the Barber Proceeded with Their Scheme; Together with Matters Worthy of Record in This Great History

THE curate proceeded to borrow the needed dress from the landlady, whose curiosity he satisfied by explaining Don Quixote's madness and their mission in the mountains. The landlady recognized Don Quixote by the description the curate gave, and willingly furnished the clothes, and an ox-tail out of which the barber made himself a beard. As security for these things the curate left behind a brand-new cassock.

THE curate went to borrow the needed outfit from the landlady, whose curiosity he calmed by explaining Don Quixote's madness and their mission in the mountains. The landlady recognized Don Quixote from the description the curate provided and gladly gave him the clothes, along with an ox-tail that the barber used to make himself a beard. As collateral for these items, the curate left behind a brand-new cassock.

When the curate's transfiguration was completed, however, his conscience began to trouble him; so it was agreed that he and the barber were to change rôles. The curate shed his female attire, and the barber decided not to don it until they approached the mountainside. Meanwhile Sancho was instructed as to how to act and what to say, when he saw his master.

When the curate's transformation was finished, though, his conscience started to bother him; so they agreed that he and the barber would swap roles. The curate took off his women's clothes, and the barber decided not to wear them until they got closer to the mountainside. In the meantime, Sancho was given instructions on how to behave and what to say when he saw his master.

The day after they set out, they came to the place where Sancho's branches were strewn. The curate thought it best that they send Sancho ahead to take to his master Lady Dulcinea's reply; this was agreed to, and Sancho left.

The day after they set out, they arrived at the spot where Sancho's branches were scattered. The curate thought it was best to send Sancho ahead to deliver Lady Dulcinea's response to his master; everyone agreed, and Sancho left.

While the two conspirators were resting in the shade of some trees they were suddenly startled by hearing a man singing in the distance. It was clearly a voice trained in [Pg 81] the art of singing, and the verses he sang were not of rustic origin. Soon they perceived the singer, and it was no other than Cardenio, the Ragged One. Now he was untouched by madness, for he spoke quite sanely, telling them of his woeful misfortune, the memory of which, he said, would sometimes overpower and strangle his senses. The curate and the barber were both eager to know the story of the comely youth's life, and he then told them of the faithlessness of his friend. This time he was not interrupted, and he finished his story, which was one of a great love as much as one of misfortune. He had just reached the end, when from no great distance came the sound of a lamenting voice.

While the two conspirators were resting in the shade of some trees, they were suddenly startled by the sound of a man singing in the distance. It was clearly a voice trained in the art of singing, and the verses were not of rustic origin. Soon they spotted the singer, and it was none other than Cardenio, the Ragged One. He was now free of madness, speaking quite rationally and sharing his woeful misfortune, which he said would sometimes overpower and strangle his senses. The curate and the barber were both eager to hear about the young man's life, and he then told them about the faithlessness of his friend. This time he was not interrupted, and he finished his story, which was as much about great love as it was about misfortune. Just as he reached the end, they heard a lamenting voice nearby.


CHAPTER XXVIII

Which Treats of the Strange and Delightful Adventures That Befell the Curate and the Barber in the Same Sierra

WHEN Cardenio and the curate and the barber looked about they discovered a youth with exquisite, delicate features bathing his feet in the brook below them. His garb was that of a peasant lad; on his head he had a montera. Having finished bathing, he took from under the montera a cloth with which he dried his feet. In removing the cap there fell from under it a mass of auburn hair, and all were amazed to find that instead of a youth, it was a most lovely maiden. In their astonishment either [Pg 82] the curate or the barber uttered a cry; and frightened at the sight of them, the girl took to flight, but soon stumbled and fell.

WHEN Cardenio, the curate, and the barber looked around, they spotted a young person with beautiful, delicate features bathing their feet in the stream below. They were dressed like a peasant; on their head was a montera. After finishing the bath, the person took a cloth from under the montera to dry their feet. As the cap was removed, a cascade of auburn hair tumbled out, and everyone was astonished to realize that instead of a young man, it was a stunning young woman. In their shock, either the curate or the barber let out a gasp; startled by their presence, the girl ran away but soon tripped and fell.

The curate was the first one to reach her. He spoke some kind words and told her that they were there to help her, to fulfill any wish she might express. And he begged her to cast away any pretence, for he was certain that she was there because of some misery that had befallen her.

The curate was the first to reach her. He spoke some comforting words and told her that they were there to help her, to fulfill any wishes she might have. He urged her to drop any pretense, as he was sure she was there because of some hardship she had faced.

At first the maiden seemed bewildered, but after a while she showed that the curate had gained her confidence, and she spoke to him in a beautiful, melancholy voice. She seated herself on a stone, while the three gathered around her, and confided to them with tears in her eyes the reasons for her being there. She told them of a certain grandee of Spain, living in Andalusia, of whom her father, lowly in birth but rich in fortune, was a vassal. This grandee had two sons. She had been betrothed to the younger one of these, Don Fernando, and he had jilted her in favor of a lady of noble birth, whose name was Luscinda.

At first, the young woman seemed confused, but after a bit, it was clear that the curate had earned her trust, and she spoke to him in a lovely, sad voice. She sat down on a stone while the three gathered around her, and with tears in her eyes, she shared the reasons for her presence there. She told them about a certain nobleman in Spain, living in Andalusia, to whom her father, who was of humble origins but wealthy, was a vassal. This nobleman had two sons. She had been engaged to the younger one, Don Fernando, but he had ended their engagement for a lady of high birth named Luscinda.

When Cardenio heard his own lady's name, he bit his lips and tears came to his eyes. Dorothea—for that was the maiden's name—wondered at such interest and such emotion, but she continued her story. She told of how, upon Don Fernando's marriage to lady Luscinda, she had fled in despair from house and home. A herdsman in the heart of the Sierra had given her employment as a servant; but when he had discovered that she was a woman, she was forced to leave. While she was bemoaning her evil fate, and praying to God in the woods, she had cut her feet on the stones; and she was bathing them in the brook when she encountered the present gathering. [Pg 83]

When Cardenio heard his lady's name, he bit his lips and tears filled his eyes. Dorothea—that's the maiden's name—was surprised by such interest and emotion, but she kept telling her story. She described how, after Don Fernando married Lady Luscinda, she had run away in despair from her home. A herdsman in the mountains had offered her a job as a servant, but when he realized she was a woman, she had to leave. While she was lamenting her bad luck and praying to God in the woods, she hurt her feet on the stones; and she was washing them in the stream when she came across the current group. [Pg 83]


CHAPTER XXIX

Which Treats of the Droll Device and Method Adopted to Extricate Our Love-Stricken Knight from the Severe Penance He Had Imposed Upon Himself

DOROTHEA had told her story with great simplicity. When she had ended it, the curate arose to console her; but Cardenio was already at her side.

DOROTHEA had shared her story very simply. When she finished, the curate got up to comfort her; but Cardenio was already by her side.

"Are you not the daughter of the rich Clenardo?" he asked of her eagerly.

"Are you not the daughter of the wealthy Clenardo?" he asked her eagerly.

She gazed at him in wonder, for she had not spoken her father's name. She asked the youth who he might be, and he told her that he was the Cardenio who had been wronged by Don Fernando, the faithless friend and faithless lover; and he swore then and there a holy oath that he should see her married to Don Fernando or the latter would perish by his, Cardenio's, sword. Dorothea was moved to tears by the youth's words and thanked him profusely. The curate then made the suggestion that both of them return with him and the barber to their village where they could make further plans as to what to do to set things aright. And Dorothea and Cardenio accepted this kind offer gratefully.

She looked at him in amazement because she hadn’t mentioned her father's name. She asked the young man who he was, and he told her he was Cardenio, the one wronged by Don Fernando, the unfaithful friend and lover. He then swore a solemn oath that he would see her married to Don Fernando, or the latter would die by his sword. Dorothea was brought to tears by his words and thanked him sincerely. The curate then suggested that they all return to their village with him and the barber, where they could make further plans to set things right. Dorothea and Cardenio happily accepted this generous offer.

Sancho was now seen arriving, and the curate told the youth and the maiden the reason for his being there. He explained to them the curious nature of Don Quixote's madness, and Cardenio mentioned to the curate his meeting with the knight. [Pg 84]

Sancho was now seen arriving, and the curate explained to the young man and the young woman why he was there. He described the strange nature of Don Quixote's madness, and Cardenio told the curate about his encounter with the knight. [Pg 84]

Sancho had found Don Quixote nearly dead with hunger, crying aloud for his Dulcinea; and when his squire entreated him in her name to return to El Toboso, he refused, declaring that his penitence was not yet complete; that he was not yet worthy of her favor. Sancho was quite worried lest he should lose his island and his titles and all the other honors he had expected, and the curate did his best to calm his fears. The good man then explained to Cardenio and Dorothea how they had planned to take Don Quixote back to his home by persuading him to go there on an adventure in aid of a distressed damsel.

Sancho found Don Quixote almost starved, shouting for his Dulcinea. When Sancho begged him, in her name, to go back to El Toboso, he refused, saying his penance wasn’t finished yet and that he didn’t deserve her love. Sancho was really worried he might lose his island, titles, and all the other honors he was hoping for, and the curate tried his best to ease his concerns. The kind man then explained to Cardenio and Dorothea how they planned to take Don Quixote back home by convincing him to go on an adventure to help a distressed damsel.

Dorothea at once offered to play the part of the damsel. Having read a good many books of chivalry, herself, she thought she could qualify in asking favors of our knight. She had brought with her a complete woman's dress, with lace and rich embroidery, and when Sancho Panza saw her in her new array, he asked, in astonishment, what great lady she might be. The curate replied that she was the ruler of the great kingdom of Micomicon, and after having been dethroned by an evil giant had come all the way from Guinea to seek the aid of Don Quixote. Immediately Sancho's hope for his titles and possessions was revived, for the thought of his master's fame having spread to such distant parts seemed most encouraging.

Dorothea quickly offered to play the role of the damsel in distress. Having read a lot of books about chivalry herself, she figured she could manage asking favors from our knight. She had brought a complete woman’s outfit, featuring lace and rich embroidery, and when Sancho Panza saw her in her new attire, he asked in surprise which great lady she might be. The curate replied that she was the ruler of the vast kingdom of Micomicon, and after being overthrown by an evil giant, she had traveled all the way from Guinea to seek Don Quixote's help. At once, Sancho’s hopes for his titles and fortunes were reignited, as the idea that his master’s fame had spread to such far-off places was incredibly encouraging.

While Sancho Panza was entertaining these visions, Dorothea mounted the curate's mule, and the barber decorated himself with the ox-tail for a beard. Sancho was told to lead the way, and the curate explained to him that the success of their mission depended on him. He was [Pg 85] warned that he must not give away the identity of the curate and the barber; if he did, the empire would be lost. And then they started out, leaving the curate and Cardenio behind, as that was thought best.

While Sancho Panza was caught up in his fantasies, Dorothea got on the curate's mule, and the barber gave himself a beard made of an ox tail. Sancho was asked to lead the way, and the curate explained to him that their mission's success rested on his shoulders. He was [Pg 85] warned not to reveal the identities of the curate and the barber; if he did, everything would fall apart. Then they set off, leaving the curate and Cardenio behind, as that seemed smarter.

They had gone almost a league when they saw Don Quixote on a rock, clothed, but wearing no armor. Dorothea was helped from her horse. She walked over to Don Quixote and knelt before him; and she told him the errand that had brought her there, saying that she would not rise until he had granted her the boon she was asking. While she was kneeling before him, Sancho Panza was anxiously whispering to Don Quixote bits of information about her and her kingdom, afraid that his master might refuse her; but, demented though he was, rank and riches mattered little to Don Quixote, for he drew his sword, he said, in defense of anything that was righteous, and the meek and downtrodden always found in him a ready and courteous defendant. When he learned from the Princess that a big giant had invaded her kingdom, he at once granted her the promise of his services. Dorothea wanted to kiss his hand as a proof of her gratitude; but Don Quixote would not permit her to do this, being ever a respectful and courteous knight. He commanded his squire to saddle his horse immediately, while he put on his armor, mounted, and was ready for the crusade.

They had traveled almost a mile when they saw Don Quixote sitting on a rock, dressed but without armor. Dorothea was helped off her horse. She walked over to Don Quixote and knelt before him, explaining the mission that had brought her there and saying she wouldn’t get up until he granted her request. While she was kneeling, Sancho Panza anxiously whispered to Don Quixote bits of information about her and her kingdom, worried his master might refuse her; but, even though he was deranged, rank and wealth didn't mean much to Don Quixote. He drew his sword, declaring he would fight for anything that was right, and the weak and oppressed always had a ready and courteous defender in him. When he learned from the Princess that a giant had invaded her kingdom, he immediately promised her his services. Dorothea wanted to kiss his hand to show her gratitude, but Don Quixote wouldn’t allow it, always being a respectful and courteous knight. He ordered his squire to saddle his horse right away while he put on his armor, mounted up, and got ready for the quest.

They set out, Sancho on foot, cheerfully grinning to himself at the covetous thought of all the possessions that would be his in a short time. Soon they passed the place where Cardenio and the curate were hiding. The curate had by this time conceived the idea of shearing Cardenio [Pg 86] of his beard that Don Quixote would be unable to recognize him; and he had furnished him with his own grey jerkin and a black cloak, so that he himself appeared in breeches and doublet only. Having effected the change, they took a short-cut through the woods and came out on the open road ahead of Don Quixote.

They set off, with Sancho walking and smiling to himself at the greedy thought of all the possessions he would soon have. Before long, they passed the spot where Cardenio and the curate were hiding. By this time, the curate had the idea of shaving Cardenio's beard so that Don Quixote wouldn't recognize him; he had given Cardenio his own gray jerkin and a black cloak, leaving him in just breeches and a doublet. After making the change, they took a shortcut through the woods and emerged onto the open road ahead of Don Quixote.

As he approached them, the curate feigned astonishment beyond words at seeing his old friend; and Don Quixote was so surprised that he hardly recognized the curate. He courteously offered Rocinante to him, but the curate remonstrated and finally accepted the long-bearded squire's mule, inviting the squire to sit behind him. This arrangement did not please the mule, however, for he commenced to kick with his hind legs. Luckily the beast did not damage the barber, but the demonstration frightened him so that he turned a somersault in a ditch. In so doing, his beard came off, but he had enough presence of mind to cover his face at the same moment, crying that his teeth were knocked out. When Don Quixote saw the beard on the ground without any sign of flesh or blood, he was struck with amazement, and thought that the barber had been shaved by a miracle.

As he got closer, the curate pretended to be incredibly shocked to see his old friend; Don Quixote was so taken aback that he barely recognized the curate. He politely offered Rocinante to him, but the curate refused and eventually took the long-bearded squire's mule, inviting the squire to sit behind him. However, the mule didn't like this arrangement and started to kick with its hind legs. Fortunately, the animal didn't hurt the barber, but the commotion scared him so much that he flipped over into a ditch. In the process, his beard came off, but he quickly covered his face, shouting that his teeth had been knocked out. When Don Quixote saw the beard on the ground without any sign of blood or flesh, he was completely amazed and thought that the barber had been shaved by a miracle.

The curate hastened breathlessly to the barber's side, and began to mumble incomprehensible words, while the barber was groaning on the ground in an uncomfortable position. When the barber finally rose, Don Quixote's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets, for he beheld the barber bearded again. He begged the curate to teach him the charm that could produce such a miracle, and the curate promised he would. Then they proceeded on the journey.

The curate rushed breathlessly to the barber's side and started to mumble words that didn’t make sense, while the barber groaned on the ground in an awkward position. When the barber finally got up, Don Quixote's eyes almost popped out of his head because he saw the barber had a beard again. He pleaded with the curate to teach him the trick that could create such a miracle, and the curate promised he would. Then they continued on their journey.

The curate now began to wonder about the road (all this [Pg 87] was pre-arranged) and said that in order to go to the kingdom of Micomicon, they had to take the road to Cartagena, where they would embark on a ship. That, he said, would take them through his own village, and from there it was a journey of nine years to Micomicon. Here the Princess corrected him, saying that it had taken her only two years to make the journey here, in quest of the noble and famous knight who had now sworn to restore her kingdom to her.

The curate started to think about the road (all this [Pg 87] was already planned) and said that to get to the kingdom of Micomicon, they needed to head to Cartagena, where they would board a ship. He mentioned that this route would pass through his own village, and from there it would take nine years to reach Micomicon. The Princess then corrected him, saying that it had only taken her two years to make the journey here, in search of the noble and famous knight who had now vowed to restore her kingdom to her.

Don Quixote at this moment happened to observe the light attire of the curate, and was curious to know the reason for it. Whereupon the curate (having learned of the incident through Sancho) related how he and Master Nicholas, on their way to Seville, had been held up by a gang of liberated galley-slaves. These criminals, it was said, had been set free by a man on horseback, as brave as he was bold, for he had fought off all the guards, single-handed. The curate criticized this man heartlessly, called him a knave and a criminal for having set himself against law and order and his king, and expressed a belief that he could not have been in his right mind. The Holy Brotherhood, he said further, was searching for him now, and he himself was afraid that the man's soul would be lost. He finished his story by calling upon the Lord to pardon this unregenerate being who had taken away the galley-slaves from the punishment that had been meted out to them by justice.

Don Quixote happened to notice the curate's light clothing and was curious about why he was dressed that way. So the curate (after hearing about the incident from Sancho) explained how he and Master Nicholas, while on their way to Seville, had been stopped by a group of freed galley-slaves. It was said that these criminals had been released by a brave horseman who had fought off all the guards by himself. The curate harshly criticized this man, calling him a rogue and a criminal for going against the law, his king, and suggested that he must be out of his mind. He added that the Holy Brotherhood was currently searching for him, and he feared for the man’s soul. He ended his story by praying to the Lord to forgive this unrepentant individual who had rescued the galley-slaves from the punishment they deserved.

Don Quixote seemed to take the curate's sermon to heart, and bent his head humbly, not daring to admit that he was the culprit, and not knowing that the curate knew it. [Pg 88]

Don Quixote appeared to really take the curate's sermon to heart, lowering his head in humility, too afraid to confess that he was the one at fault, not realizing that the curate was aware of it. [Pg 88]


CHAPTER XXX

Which Treats of the Address Displayed by the Fair Dorothea, with Other Matters, Pleasant and Amusing

WHEN Sancho heard the harsh sermon of the curate, he, being a good Christian, became afraid that his own soul might be lost too; for was he not an accomplice? So he confessed then and there his own and his master's guilt, much to the shame and anger of Don Quixote. The Princess was quick to sense the danger, and she calmed our hero before his anger had risen to any great height, by reminding him of his promise, and how he had sworn to engage in no conflict of any kind until her kingdom had been saved. He answered her with infinite courtesy and expressed his regrets for having let his anger get the better of him; he would stand by his word. Then he asked her to tell him all that she could about herself and her kingdom. She would willingly do that, she said, and began her story.

WHEN Sancho heard the harsh sermon from the curate, he, being a good Christian, became afraid that his own soul might be lost too; after all, wasn’t he an accomplice? So he confessed right then and there his own and his master's guilt, much to the shame and anger of Don Quixote. The Princess quickly sensed the danger and calmed our hero before his anger escalated, reminding him of his promise and how he had sworn to avoid any conflict until her kingdom had been saved. He responded with great courtesy and expressed regret for letting his anger take over; he would stick to his word. Then he asked her to share everything she could about herself and her kingdom. She said she would gladly do that and began her story.

But she came very near ending it then and there, for she could not remember the name she had assumed. Luckily the curate—who had invented her long and difficult name—was there to prompt her, and the situation was saved. Having told Don Quixote that her name was Princess Micomicona, she continued her story, relating how she was left an orphan, how a certain giant and lord [Pg 89] of an island near her kingdom had asked for her hand in marriage and she had refused, how his forces had overrun her country and she had fled to Spain, where it had been predicted by a magician she would find a certain great knight errant by the name of Don Quixote, otherwise called the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, who would be recognized by a gray mole with hairs like bristles under the left shoulder.

But she nearly ended it right then because she couldn't remember the name she had taken on. Thankfully, the curate—who had come up with her long and complicated name—was there to help her out, and the situation was salvaged. After telling Don Quixote that her name was Princess Micomicona, she continued her story, explaining how she had been left an orphan, how a certain giant and lord of an island near her kingdom had asked to marry her and she had refused, how his forces had invaded her country and she had fled to Spain, where a magician had predicted she would find a great knight errant named Don Quixote, also known as the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, who would be identified by a gray mole with bristle-like hairs under his left shoulder.

Immediately upon hearing this, Don Quixote wanted to strip, but Sancho assured them that he did have just such a mark. Dorothea said she was quite sure he must, for in other respects the description that the magician had given fitted him; and she hastened to relate to him how she had first heard of him on her landing at Osuna. But evidently the pretended Princess had not been as careful a student of geography as Don Quixote, who was quick to ask her: "But how did you land at Osuna, señorita, when it is not a seaport?" Again the curate displayed proof of rare presence of mind, for he broke in: "The Princess meant to say that after having landed at Malaga, the first place where she heard of your worship was Osuna." And Dorothea immediately corroborated the curate's explanation with great self-assurance.

As soon as he heard this, Don Quixote wanted to strip off his clothes, but Sancho assured everyone that he did have just such a mark. Dorothea was certain he must, because in other ways, the description the magician had given matched him. She quickly explained how she had first heard about him when she arrived in Osuna. However, it was clear that the supposed Princess hadn’t studied geography as carefully as Don Quixote, who was quick to ask her, “But how did you land in Osuna, miss, when it’s not a seaport?” Once again, the curate showed impressive presence of mind when he interjected, “The Princess meant to say that after landing in Malaga, the first place she heard about your worship was Osuna.” And Dorothea immediately supported the curate’s explanation with great confidence.

However, she thought it best to end her story here, for fear of complications, and only added how happy she was to have found him so soon. She also pointed out, demurely enough, that it had been predicted if after having cut off the giant's head the knight should ask her to marry him, she would accept. But Don Quixote said he would be true to his Dulcinea; and this made Sancho exclaim with [Pg 90] dismay that he was out of his head, for Dulcinea could never come up to this fair princess.

However, she thought it was best to end her story here to avoid any complications, and just added how happy she was to have found him so soon. She also pointed out, modestly enough, that it had been predicted if the knight asked her to marry him after he cut off the giant's head, she would say yes. But Don Quixote said he would remain true to his Dulcinea; and this made Sancho exclaim in dismay that he must be out of his mind, because Dulcinea could never compare to this fair princess.

Sancho's remark angered his master so intensely that he knocked him to the ground with his spear; and if the Princess had not interfered the unfortunate squire might never again have been able to say his ave-marias or credos or, more to the point, have eaten another square meal. He was quick to cry out that he had meant no ill by what he said, and acting upon the suggestion of the Princess, he kissed his master's hand.

Sancho's remark made his

At this moment a man, mounted on an ass, was seen on the road, and Sancho, no doubt feeling instinctively the proximity of his beloved animal, recognized in the man Gines de Pasamonte. Wildly shouting, he set out after the galley-slave, who threw himself off the ass at Sancho's first shout. Sancho, crying with joy, was so glad to have his faithful donkey returned to him that he did not pursue the thief. And Don Quixote himself was so pleased that he entirely forgot about his quarrel with Sancho. He called him to his side, and asked him to repeat everything his Dulcinea had told him, over and over again.

At that moment, a man riding a donkey was spotted on the road, and Sancho, sensing the presence of his beloved animal, recognized him as Gines de Pasamonte. Shouting wildly, he chased after the galley-slave, who jumped off the donkey at Sancho's first shout. Overjoyed to have his faithful donkey back, Sancho was so happy that he didn’t go after the thief. Don Quixote was also so pleased that he completely forgot about his argument with Sancho. He called Sancho over and asked him to repeat everything his Dulcinea had said, again and again.


CHAPTER XXXI

Of the Delectable Discussion Between Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, His Squire, Together with Other Incidents

DON QUIXOTE was anxious to know what jewel his fair one had bestowed on Sancho before the leave-taking. Sancho replied that the only jewel Dulcinea had [Pg 91] given him was some bread and cheese; whereupon Don Quixote remarked that no doubt she had had no jewels at hand. He expressed wonder at the speedy trip Sancho had made, to which Sancho replied that Rocinante had gone like lightning; and Don Quixote then was sure some friendly enchanter had carried him through the air.

DON QUIXOTE was eager to find out what gift his beloved had given to Sancho before they parted ways. Sancho answered that the only gift Dulcinea had [Pg 91] given him was some bread and cheese; to which Don Quixote commented that she probably didn’t have any jewels on hand. He expressed surprise at how quickly Sancho had returned, to which Sancho replied that Rocinante had gone like the wind; Don Quixote then concluded that some friendly wizard must have carried him through the air.


CHAPTERS XXXII-XXXIV

Which Treats of What Befell All Don Quixote's Party at the Inn

THE following day they reached the inn. The landlady at once wanted her ox-tail back, so it was decided that the barber should hereafter appear in his own true character, having supposedly arrived at the inn after the galley-slaves' hold-up.

THE following day they reached the inn. The landlady immediately wanted her oxtail back, so it was decided that the barber should from then on show his true self, having supposedly arrived at the inn after the hold-up by the galley slaves.

Don Quixote was tired, and was given a bed in the garret where he had slept once before. While the others were having dinner, the landlady was confidentially telling all who would listen of Don Quixote's absurdities during his previous visit, and also of Sancho Panza's being juggled in the blanket. And while the curate was discussing Don Quixote's madness, the innkeeper confided to him that he himself had a weakness for reading about deeds of the past, particularly stories of chivalry. Often, he said, he would read aloud from these books to his family and servants. He had just read a novel entitled "Ill-Advised Curiosity," which he had found very interesting. [Pg 92] He showed the manuscript of it to the curate, who seemed to think it might make very good reading and expressed a desire to copy it. Whereupon the innkeeper asked him whether he would not read it aloud to them; and as they were all eager to hear it, the curate commenced the reading of the manuscript.

Don Quixote was exhausted, and he was given a bed in the attic where he had slept before. While the others were having dinner, the landlady was sharing with anyone who would listen about Don Quixote's ridiculous antics from his earlier visit, including the time Sancho Panza was tossed around in a blanket. Meanwhile, as the curate talked about Don Quixote’s madness, the innkeeper admitted to him that he had a soft spot for reading about historical events, especially tales of chivalry. He often read these books out loud to his family and staff. He had just finished a novel called "Ill-Advised Curiosity," which he found very engaging. [Pg 92] He showed the manuscript to the curate, who thought it might be great reading and expressed a wish to copy it. Then the innkeeper asked if he would read it out loud to them; since everyone was excited to hear it, the curate began reading the manuscript.


CHAPTER XXXV

Which Treats of the Heroic and Prodigious Battle Don Quixote Had with Certain Skins of Red Wine, and Brings the Novel of The "Ill-Advised Curiosity" to an End

THE curate had almost finished the reading of the novel, (which consumed all of the two chapters which are omitted here) when Sancho Panza burst into the room, excitedly shouting that his master was having the wildest battle he had ever seen, up in the garret. He pleaded for reinforcements, and wanted them all to join in conquering the enemy who, he declared, was no other than the fierce giant that had invaded the kingdom of Micomicon. He said he had left just as his master had cut the giant's head clean off with his sword, leaving the beast to bleed like a stuffed pig.

THE curate had almost finished reading the novel, (which covered all of the two chapters that are left out here) when Sancho Panza burst into the room, excitedly shouting that his master was in the wildest battle he had ever seen, up in the attic. He begged for reinforcements and wanted everyone to join in defeating the enemy who, he claimed, was none other than the fierce giant that had invaded the kingdom of Micomicon. He said he had left just as his master had sliced the giant's head clean off with his sword, leaving the beast to bleed like a slaughtered pig.

While Sancho was relating his blood-curdling story, a tremendous noise and loud exclamations poured forth from the garret, and the innkeeper, suddenly remembering all the many wine-skins he had hung up there on the previous [Pg 93] night sprang out of his chair and toward the scene of action, followed by the rest.

While Sancho was telling his chilling story, a huge commotion and loud shouts came from the attic. The innkeeper, suddenly recalling all the wine-skins he had hung up there the night before, jumped out of his chair and rushed toward the source of the noise, with everyone else following behind.

The worst that the innkeeper might have feared was true; for there, on the garret floor, was a sea of red wine, with hosts of empty skins floating about upon it. In the middle of the sea stood Don Quixote, sword in hand, slashing right and left, dressed in nothing but his shirt. But the strangest thing of all was not his attire, but the fact that he was fast asleep, his eyes shut tightly, dreaming that he had already arrived in the distant realm of the Princess Micomicona and had encountered the giant enemy.

The innkeeper's worst fears were confirmed; there, on the attic floor, was a sea of red wine, with a bunch of empty skins floating on it. In the middle of the wine stood Don Quixote, sword in hand, slashing at everything, dressed only in his shirt. But the strangest part wasn’t his outfit; it was that he was sound asleep, his eyes tightly shut, dreaming that he had already reached the distant land of Princess Micomicona and faced his giant enemy.

Seeing all his precious wine floating away, the innkeeper became enraged and set upon Don Quixote with his bare fists; but the beating had no effect on the knight except, perhaps, that it made him sleep more soundly. It was not until the barber had drenched him in cold water that he came to his senses.

Seeing all his precious wine floating away, the innkeeper got furious and attacked Don Quixote with his bare fists; but the beating didn't affect the knight, except maybe making him sleep even more soundly. It wasn't until the barber splashed him with cold water that he finally came to his senses.

The Princess Micomicona, who had been listening to the saving of her kingdom outside the door, became eager, after she had heard the tempest subside, to enter and see the conquered giant; but she retired hastily and with a slight exclamation of horrified modesty on seeing the abbreviated length of her defender's night-shirt, the tail of which had been sacrificed to his prayers in the wilderness.

The Princess Micomicona, who had been listening to the rescue of her kingdom outside the door, felt anxious, after hearing the storm calm down, to go in and see the defeated giant; however, she quickly stepped back with a small gasp of shocked modesty upon noticing the short length of her defender's nightshirt, the tail of which had been sacrificed to his prayers in the wilderness.

The landlord, cursing his luck, swore that this time the knight errant and his squire should not escape without paying. But Don Quixote, whose hand the curate was holding in an endeavor to calm him, merely fell on his knees [Pg 94] before the curate, exclaiming: "Exalted and beautiful Princess! Your Highness may now live in peace; for I have slain the giant!" He imagined that he was at the feet of Micomicona. Soon after having spoken thus, he showed signs of great weariness, and the curate, the barber and Cardenio carried him to his bed, where he fell asleep.

The landlord, cursing his luck, vowed that this time the knight and his squire wouldn’t get away without paying. But Don Quixote, whose hand the curate was holding in an attempt to calm him, simply dropped to his knees [Pg 94] in front of the curate, shouting: "Exalted and beautiful Princess! Your Highness can now rest easy; for I have defeated the giant!" He thought he was at the feet of Micomicona. Shortly after saying this, he showed signs of extreme exhaustion, and the curate, the barber, and Cardenio carried him to his bed, where he fell asleep.

Next they had to console Sancho, who was grief-stricken because he had been unable to find the giant's head. He swore he had seen it falling when his master cut it off, and imagined that if it could not be produced there would be no reward for either him or his master; but Dorothea, in her rôle of Princess, calmed and comforted him.

Next, they had to comfort Sancho, who was heartbroken because he couldn’t find the giant’s head. He swore he had seen it fall when his master cut it off and feared that if it couldn’t be produced, neither he nor his master would get a reward. But Dorothea, playing the role of Princess, soothed and reassured him.

All this time the innkeeper's wife was crying about the ox-tail, which, she said, had lost its usefulness after having served as beard, and the innkeeper was demanding that he be paid for the spilt wine and other losses. The curate assured them that he himself would see to it that they were reimbursed for everything; and when the excitement in the inn had simmered down, and everybody had gathered again in the room where they had heard the curate read from "Ill-Advised Curiosity," he was asked to resume the reading. This he did; and they all thought it a very entertaining story and listened intensely to what the curate was reading.

All this time, the innkeeper's wife was complaining about the ox-tail, saying it had lost its purpose after being used as a beard, and the innkeeper was insisting he be compensated for the spilled wine and other losses. The curate promised them that he would make sure they were reimbursed for everything; and when the excitement in the inn cooled down, everyone gathered again in the room where they had heard the curate read from "Ill-Advised Curiosity," and he was asked to continue the reading. He did, and they all found it to be a very entertaining story and listened intently to what the curate was reading.

"SLASHING RIGHT AND LEFT, DREAMING THAT HE HAD ENCOUNTERED THE GIANT ENEMY."—Page 93
"SLASHING LEFT AND RIGHT, WISHING THAT HE HAD FACE THE GIANT ENEMY."—__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__

CHAPTER XXXVI

Which Treats of More Curious Incidents That Occurred at the Inn

AT this moment there was a sound of people approaching on horseback, and the innkeeper rushed to the gate to receive the guests. There were four men, with lances and bucklers, and black veils for their faces; a woman, dressed in white and also veiled, and two attendants on foot. One of the four, a gentleman of distinction, helped the lady to dismount, and they entered the inn.

AT this moment, there was the sound of people approaching on horseback, and the innkeeper hurried to the gate to welcome the guests. Four men, carrying lances and shields, with black veils covering their faces, rode in; a woman, dressed in white and also veiled, and two attendants on foot followed. One of the four, a distinguished gentleman, assisted the lady in getting off her horse, and they entered the inn.

As they came into the room where the curate had just finished reading the novel of "Ill-Advised Curiosity," Dorothea covered her face, and Cardenio left and went to the garret. As the gentleman seated the lady in a chair, she heaved a deep sigh. Her arms fell limply by her side. The curate was curious to know who these people were, so he asked one of the servants that accompanied them. But none of them knew, for they had met the travelers on the road, they said, and had been offered employment at good pay. They added that they feared the lady was being taken somewhere against her will, as she had done nothing but sigh all through the journey, and had exchanged no words whatever with her escort.

As they entered the room where the curate had just finished reading "Ill-Advised Curiosity," Dorothea covered her face, and Cardenio left to go to the attic. As the gentleman sat the lady down in a chair, she let out a deep sigh. Her arms fell loosely at her sides. The curate was curious about who these people were, so he asked one of the servants who had accompanied them. But none of them knew, as they had met the travelers on the road and had been offered good-paying jobs. They mentioned they were worried that the lady was being taken somewhere against her will, since she had been sighing the entire journey and hadn’t said a word to her escort.

Dorothea, hearing the lady sigh repeatedly, felt compassion for her, and asked her whether there was anything that she could do for her. But although she asked her the question several times, she got no reply. [Pg 96]

Dorothea, hearing the lady sigh over and over, felt sorry for her and asked if there was anything she could do to help. But even though she asked several times, she didn't get any response. [Pg 96]

When the gentleman with the distinguished bearing observed that Dorothea was interested in this lady, he told her it was useless to bother with her, for her answers were all lies and anything done for her would be rewarded with ingratitude. This remark was speedily answered by the lady, who retorted. "I have never told a lie. On the contrary, it is because I am truthful and cannot lie that I am now in this miserable condition. And you are the lying one!"

When the guy with the refined demeanor noticed that Dorothea was interested in this woman, he told her it was pointless to pay attention to her because her answers were all lies and anything done for her would only lead to ingratitude. The woman quickly replied, "I have never lied. On the contrary, it's because I am honest and can't lie that I'm stuck in this miserable situation. You're the one who's lying!"

Cardenio was in the adjoining room, just returning from the garret, and when he heard these words he exclaimed: "Good God! What is this I hear! It is her voice!"

Cardenio was in the next room, just coming back from the attic, and when he heard these words he shouted, "Oh my God! What am I hearing? It's her voice!"

The lady heard the exclamation, and seeing no one, she became agitated and rose, but was held back by the gentleman. Her veil suddenly fell off, and every one could see her face, which was one of alabaster-like whiteness and great beauty. And while the gentleman was struggling to keep her from leaving the room, his own veil became unfastened and Dorothea saw that he was no other than her own lover, Don Fernando. The moment she recognized him she fainted, and the barber caught her, or she would have fallen to the floor. The curate was quick to throw some water on her face, and she soon came to. As soon as Cardenio heard the commotion, he rushed in from the other room, imagining that the worst had happened to his Luscinda—for it was no other than she—and it was a curious thing to see the four suddenly finding themselves face to face.

The lady heard the shout, and when she saw no one, she got anxious and stood up, but the gentleman held her back. Her veil suddenly fell off, and everyone could see her face, which was alabaster-white and incredibly beautiful. While the gentleman struggled to keep her from leaving the room, his own veil came undone, and Dorothea saw that he was none other than her lover, Don Fernando. The moment she recognized him, she fainted, and the barber caught her, or she would have hit the floor. The curate quickly splashed some water on her face, and she soon came to. As soon as Cardenio heard the commotion, he rushed in from the other room, thinking something terrible had happened to his Luscinda—because it was indeed her—and it was quite a sight to see the four of them suddenly face to face.

Luscinda was the first one to speak, and she implored Don Fernando to take her life, so that her beloved Cardenio [Pg 97] might believe that she had been true and loyal and faithful to him until the very last.

Luscinda was the first to speak, and she begged Don Fernando to end her life, so that her beloved Cardenio [Pg 97] would believe she had been true, loyal, and faithful to him until the very end.

When Dorothea heard Luscinda speak thus, she fell on her knees before Don Fernando and implored him to reconsider everything that he had done that was base and wrong and sinful. She pleaded with tears in her eyes, begging him to give up Luscinda to her faithful Cardenio, told him how much she still loved him in spite of his wrong-doing, and said she would forgive him everything if he would only let his real and better nature come into its own. And her tears and sincerity moved Don Fernando so that he himself wept, and he promised to abide by the ending which Fate itself seemed to have provided for by bringing them all together in this strange way.

When Dorothea heard Luscinda speak like that, she dropped to her knees in front of Don Fernando and begged him to rethink everything he had done that was immoral and wrong. With tears in her eyes, she pleaded with him to give Luscinda to her loyal Cardenio, told him how much she still loved him despite his mistakes, and said she would forgive him for everything if he would just let his true and better self show through. Her tears and genuine emotion touched Don Fernando so deeply that he began to cry as well, and he promised to accept the conclusion that Fate itself seemed to have arranged by bringing them all together in this unusual way.

He told Luscinda that when he had found the paper in which she declared she could never be the wife of any other man than Cardenio, he was tempted to kill her, but was prevented by chance. He had left the house in a rage, and had not returned home till the following day, when he found that she had disappeared. Some months later he learned that she had taken refuge in a convent. He gathered the companions they had seen at the inn, and with their help he carried her from the convent. Now he repented of what he had done, prayed he might be permitted forever to live with his Dorothea, and asked them all for forgiveness. Then he gave his blessing to the overjoyed Cardenio and Luscinda, who were both so affected at their reunion that they shed tears. Even Sancho was weeping, although for quite another reason. He was grieved to find his Princess Micomicona suddenly lose her royal identity and turn out to be a mere lady. [Pg 98]

He told Luscinda that when he found the paper where she said she could never marry anyone but Cardenio, he was tempted to kill her but was stopped by chance. He stormed out of the house and didn’t come back until the next day, when he discovered she had vanished. A few months later, he learned that she had taken refuge in a convent. He gathered the friends they had seen at the inn, and with their help, he took her from the convent. Now he regretted what he had done, prayed to be allowed to live with his Dorothea forever, and asked for their forgiveness. Then he blessed the overjoyed Cardenio and Luscinda, who were so moved by their reunion that they cried. Even Sancho was in tears, but for a completely different reason. He was upset to see his Princess Micomicona suddenly lose her royal identity and turn out to be just a regular lady. [Pg 98]


CHAPTER XXXVII

In Which Is Continued the Story of the Famous Princess Micomicona, with Other Droll Adventures

SANCHO thought it his solemn duty to go to his master at once and inform him of the catastrophe. Dejected, he approached Don Quixote, who had just awakened, and said: "Sir Rueful Countenance, your Worship may as well sleep on, without troubling yourself about killing or restoring her kingdom to the Princess; for that is all over and settled now."

SANCHO felt it was his serious responsibility to immediately tell his master about the disaster. Downcast, he went up to Don Quixote, who had just woken up, and said: "Sir Sad Face, you might as well keep sleeping and not worry about saving the Princess or her kingdom; that's all done and decided now."

Don Quixote agreed with his squire enthusiastically, and then told him of the tremendous battle he had just had with the giant, dwelling particularly upon the great amount of blood that flowed when the giant's head was cut off.

Don Quixote eagerly agreed with his squire and then described the incredible battle he had just fought with the giant, especially emphasizing the huge amount of blood that flowed when he cut off the giant's head.

"Red wine, your Worship means," said Sancho, "and no less than twenty-four gallons, all of which has to be paid for! The Princess your Worship will find turned into a private lady named Dorothea; and there is much more that will astonish your Worship."

"Red wine, Your Honor means," said Sancho, "and no less than twenty-four gallons, all of which has to be paid for! The Princess Your Honor will find has turned into a private lady named Dorothea; and there’s a lot more that will surprise Your Honor."

Whereupon there ensued a rich and varied conversation between master and servant. When Don Quixote heard his squire confound blood with wine, he called him a fool. And when he heard that his Princess had turned [Pg 99] into a simple Dorothea, the fears he had entertained during his past visit to the inn, began to return, and he decided that the place was enchanted. But of that his squire could not be convinced, for the episode of the blanketing still remained a most vivid reality to him. Had it not been for that, he repeated, he could have believed it readily.

Whereupon a rich and varied conversation took place between master and servant. When Don Quixote heard his squire mix up blood with wine, he called him a fool. And when he learned that his Princess had turned into a simple Dorothea, the fears he had felt during his last visit to the inn began to resurface, and he decided that the place was enchanted. But his squire couldn't be convinced of that, as the incident of the blanketing was still a very vivid reality to him. If it weren't for that, he repeated, he could have easily believed it.

Meanwhile the curate had been telling Don Fernando and the others of Don Quixote's strange malady; he described how they had succeeded in taking him away from the wilderness and his self-inflicted penance, and told them all the strange adventures he had heard Sancho relate. They were greatly amused and thought it the most remarkable craze they had ever heard of. Don Fernando was eager that Dorothea should continue playing her part, and they all decided to come along on the journey to the village in La Mancha.

Meanwhile, the curate was telling Don Fernando and the others about Don Quixote's unusual problem. He described how they managed to take him away from the wilderness and his self-imposed penance, and shared all the strange adventures he had heard Sancho talk about. They were really entertained and thought it was the most remarkable obsession they had ever heard of. Don Fernando was eager for Dorothea to keep playing her role, and they all decided to join the journey to the village in La Mancha.

At this moment Don Quixote entered in his regalia, the barber's basin on his head, spear in hand, and with the buckler on his arm. Don Fernando was struck with astonishment and laughter at the sight of the mixed armament and the peculiar long yellow face of the knight. After a silence, Don Quixote turned to Dorothea and repeated his vow to regain her kingdom for her. He said he approved heartily of the magic interference of the spirit of the king, her father, who had devised this new state of hers, that of a private maiden, in which guise she would no doubt be more secure from evil influence on her journey to her home.

At that moment, Don Quixote entered in his full gear, the barber's basin on his head, spear in hand, and the shield on his arm. Don Fernando was amazed and amused by the sight of the mismatched armor and the knight's peculiar long yellow face. After a moment of silence, Don Quixote turned to Dorothea and reiterated his vow to restore her kingdom. He expressed his strong approval of the magical intervention from the spirit of her father, the king, who had created this new situation for her as a private maiden, believing that in this form she would be better protected from harm on her journey home.

His ignorant squire broke in when his master related of his battle in the garret, and inferred irreverently and [Pg 100] rather loudly that he had attacked wine-skins instead of giants, but Don Fernando quickly made him be quiet. Dorothea rose and thanked our rueful knight at the end of his speech for the renewed offer of his sword.

His clueless squire interrupted when his master talked about his battle in the attic, and stupidly and rather loudly suggested that he had fought wine-skins instead of giants, but Don Fernando quickly silenced him. Dorothea stood up and thanked our sorrowful knight at the end of his speech for the renewed offer of his sword.

Having listened to her lovely voice, Don Quixote turned angrily to his squire and reprimanded him for being a disbeliever, saying that he could now judge for himself what a fool he had made of himself. Sancho replied that he hoped he had made a mistake about the Princess not being a princess, but that as to the wine-skins, there could be no doubt, for the punctured skins he had seen himself at the head of Don Quixote's bed—and had not the garret floor been turned into a lake of wine? Whereupon his master swore at his stupidity, until Don Fernando interrupted and proposed that they spend the evening in pleasant conversation at the inn instead of continuing their journey that night.

After hearing her beautiful voice, Don Quixote turned angrily to his squire and scolded him for being a nonbeliever, saying that he could now see for himself how foolish he had been. Sancho replied that he hoped he had been wrong about the Princess not being a princess, but when it came to the wine-skins, there was no doubt, since he had seen the punctured skins right at Don Quixote's bedside—and hadn’t the garret floor turned into a lake of wine? At this, his master cursed his stupidity until Don Fernando interrupted and suggested they spend the evening chatting at the inn instead of continuing their journey that night.

While that was being agreed upon, two travelers, a man and a woman, dressed in Moorish fashion, came to the inn. They asked for rooms overnight, but were told there were none to be had. Dorothea felt sorry for the strange lady—whose face was covered with a veil—and told her that she and Luscinda would gladly share their room with her. The lady rose from her chair, bowed her head and made a sign with her hands as if to thank them; and they concluded, because of her silence, that she could not speak their language. At this moment her companion returned to her and, seeing her surrounded by the guests at the inn, he confirmed what they had thought, for he made the remark that it was useless to address any questions to her as [Pg 101] she could speak no other tongue than her own. They explained that they had asked no questions, but had only offered her quarters for the night. When the stranger learned this, it seemed to please him very much, and he thanked them profusely.

While that was being decided, two travelers, a man and a woman dressed in Moorish style, arrived at the inn. They asked for a room for the night, but were told there were none available. Dorothea felt sympathy for the mysterious woman—whose face was hidden by a veil—and offered to share her room with Luscinda. The woman stood up, bowed her head, and gestured with her hands as if to express her gratitude; they concluded, due to her silence, that she couldn't speak their language. At that moment, her companion returned and, noticing her surrounded by the inn's guests, he validated their assumption by stating that it was pointless to ask her any questions since she only spoke her native tongue. They clarified that they hadn't asked any questions but had merely offered her a place to stay for the night. When the stranger heard this, he seemed very pleased and thanked them profusely.

As they were all curious to know who the lady was, they asked the stranger whether or not she was a Christian. He replied that while she was not, she wished to become one; and he informed them that she was a lady of high rank from Algiers. This excited a desire to see her face as well as to know whom she might be, and Dorothea could not resist the temptation of asking her to remove her veil. When her companion had told her Dorothea's desire, and the Moorish lady had removed her veil, they all stood in awe, for they beheld a face that seemed to them lovelier than any they had ever beheld before. Don Fernando asked her name, and the stranger replied it was Lela Zoraida; but when the fair lady heard him speak this name, she exclaimed emphatically that she was called Maria and not Zoraida. Luscinda embraced her in a loving way and said they would call her by that name.

As they were all eager to find out who the lady was, they asked the stranger if she was a Christian. He responded that although she wasn't, she wanted to become one; and he told them she was a woman of high status from Algiers. This sparked their curiosity to see her face and learn who she might be, and Dorothea couldn't help but ask her to take off her veil. When her companion conveyed Dorothea's request, and the Moorish lady removed her veil, they all stood in awe, for they saw a face that seemed more beautiful than any they had ever seen before. Don Fernando asked her name, and the stranger replied it was Lela Zoraida; but when the beautiful lady heard him say that name, she passionately declared that she was called Maria and not Zoraida. Luscinda hugged her affectionately and said they would call her by that name.

The supper was now ready and all placed themselves at a long table, at the head of which Don Quixote was asked to seat himself. At his request Dorothea—as the Princess Micomicona in disguise—sat on his right. All were merry and content and many pleasantries were passed. But suddenly Don Quixote stopped eating, rose, and with inspiration in his eyes and voice, began a long discourse on knight-errantry, reviewing the great good it had done for mankind. The language he used was so perfect, his [Pg 102] manners so free and easy, and his delivery possessed of such charm, that his listeners could hardly make themselves believe they were in the presence of one who was demented.

The dinner was ready, and everyone took their seats at a long table, with Don Quixote invited to sit at the head. At his request, Dorothea—disguised as Princess Micomicona—sat to his right. Everyone was cheerful and content, sharing many jokes. But suddenly, Don Quixote stopped eating, stood up, and with a spark in his eyes and voice, began a lengthy speech about knight-errantry, highlighting the great good it had done for humanity. The way he spoke was so eloquent, his demeanor so relaxed, and his delivery so captivating that his listeners could hardly believe they were in the presence of someone unhinged.


CHAPTER XXXVIII

Which Treats of the Curious Discourse Don Quixote Delivered on Arms and Letters

DON QUIXOTE told them in his discourse of that age in which victory in battle depended on personal courage and good swordsmanship, before the use of such devilish contrivances as lead and powder. These things almost made him despair of success for his revival of chivalry in this age, he said; for while guns and artillery could instill no fear in his breast, they did make him feel uneasy, as one never knew when a bullet, intended for some one else, might cut off one's life. The very worst of such a death, he maintained, was that the bullet might have been discharged by a fleeing coward. And so he pledged himself again, in spite of all the things he had to struggle against, not to give up what he had undertaken to do: to set the world aright in accordance with the principles of knight-errantry.

DON QUIXOTE told them in his speech about the time when winning battles relied on personal bravery and skill with a sword, before the invention of those wicked devices like lead and gunpowder. These things almost made him lose hope for his quest to revive chivalry in this era, he said; because while guns and cannons didn’t intimidate him, they did make him uneasy, since you never knew when a stray bullet meant for someone else might take your life. The worst part of such a death, he argued, was that the bullet could have been fired by a retreating coward. And so he renewed his vow, despite all the challenges he faced, not to abandon his mission: to set the world right according to the ideals of knight-errantry.

All the while that Don Quixote was discoursing, Sancho was much concerned because he neglected his food. He broke in whenever he had an opportunity, and admonished his master that he would have much time for talking after he had eaten. [Pg 103]

All the while Don Quixote was talking, Sancho was worried because he was ignoring his food. He interrupted whenever he could, reminding his master that he would have plenty of time to talk after eating. [Pg 103]

When they had finished their supper, the landlord informed them that he had re-arranged their quarters in order to accommodate all, and that the three women might sleep in the garret, as Don Quixote gallantly had given up his quarters to them. Their interest then turned again to the stranger. Don Fernando asked him some questions about his life, and he replied that while his life-story would be interesting, it might not afford them much enjoyment. However, he said, he would tell it if they so wished. The curate begged that he do so; and, seeing the interest of all, the stranger mentioned by way of introduction that while his was a true story, many a story of fiction would seem tame and less strange in comparison. And while all of the company expectantly turned their eyes toward the strange traveler in Moorish garb, he began the following tale.

When they had finished their dinner, the landlord told them that he had rearranged their rooms to fit everyone, and that the three women could sleep in the attic since Don Quixote had gallantly given up his room for them. Their interest then shifted back to the stranger. Don Fernando asked him some questions about his life, and he replied that while his life story would be interesting, it might not bring them much joy. However, he said he would share it if they wanted. The curate requested that he do so, and seeing everyone’s interest, the stranger remarked that while his story was true, many works of fiction would seem dull and less bizarre by comparison. As the whole group eagerly turned their eyes toward the strange traveler in Moorish clothing, he began the following tale.


CHAPTERS XXXIX-XLI

Wherein the Captive Relates His Life and Adventures

AS a young man, the stranger said, he had left Spain, bent on adventure and on becoming a soldier. He had served with the Duke of Alva in Flanders, and in the wars of the Christians against the Turks, the Moors, and the Arabs. In one of these wars he was taken prisoner by King El Uchali of Algiers; he had previously advanced to the rank of captain. He was held a captive for a long [Pg 104] time, first at Constantinople, then at Tunis, then at Algiers. At Constantinople he encountered a good many other Christian prisoners. Particularly he remembered one Don Pedro de Augilar, a brave soldier and a native of Andalusia, who, he said, had written some very excellent poetry. He especially spoke of two sonnets which he had liked so well that he had learned them by heart. One day Don Pedro succeeded in making his escape, but what had become of him he had never heard.

As a young man, the stranger said, he left Spain, eager for adventure and to become a soldier. He served with the Duke of Alva in Flanders and fought in the wars of Christians against the Turks, Moors, and Arabs. In one of these wars, he was captured by King El Uchali of Algiers; he had previously risen to the rank of captain. He was held captive for a long time, first in Constantinople, then in Tunis, and finally in Algiers. In Constantinople, he met many other Christian prisoners. He particularly remembered a man named Don Pedro de Augilar, a brave soldier from Andalusia, who, he said, had written some really excellent poetry. He especially talked about two sonnets that he liked so much he had memorized them. One day, Don Pedro managed to escape, but he never found out what happened to him.

As soon as the captive had spoken Don Pedro's name, the ladies and Don Fernando exchanged glances and smiled, and Don Fernando could not refrain from informing the narrator that Don Pedro was his brother. Furthermore, he said, he was safe in Andalusia, where he was happily married, in the best of health, and had three robust children. Then he touched on his brother's gift for composing poetry, and said that the very two sonnets the captive had mentioned, he himself knew by heart. Whereupon every one asked him to recite them, and so he did with fine feeling and intelligence. Then the captive resumed his story.

As soon as the captive mentioned Don Pedro's name, the ladies and Don Fernando exchanged knowing glances and smiled. Don Fernando couldn’t help but tell the narrator that Don Pedro was his brother. He continued to say that Don Pedro was safe in Andalusia, happily married, in great health, and had three strong kids. He then talked about his brother's talent for writing poetry and mentioned that he knew the two sonnets the captive had referred to by heart. Everyone asked him to recite them, and he did so with passion and insight. Then the captive continued his story.

At Algiers, he said, there lived, overlooking the prison, a great alcaide named Hadji Morato, a very rich man, who had but one child, a daughter of great beauty. She had learned the Christian prayer from a slave of her father's, when she was a child; the things that this Christian woman had taught her had made her long to know more about the religion and to become a Christian herself. This beautiful Algerian maiden had seen the captive from her window, and she liked him, and one day she managed to get a message to him, begging him to escape and to take her with [Pg 105] him. From time to time she would throw to him gold coins wrapped in cloth, and these he would hide until finally he had enough to buy not only himself but some other prisoners free from their slavery.

At Algiers, he said, there lived a powerful governor named Hadji Morato, a very wealthy man, who had just one child, a daughter of remarkable beauty. She learned the Christian prayer from one of her father's slaves when she was a child; the things this Christian woman taught her made her eager to learn more about the religion and to become a Christian herself. This beautiful Algerian girl had seen the captive from her window, and she felt drawn to him. One day, she managed to send him a message, asking him to escape and take her with him. Occasionally, she would throw him gold coins wrapped in cloth, which he would hide until he finally had enough to buy not only his freedom but also that of some other prisoners from their slavery. [Pg 105]

However, in order to effect the escape of the maiden, the captive was obliged to take into his confidence an old Algerian renegade who turned out to be a believer in Christ. With this man the captive sent messages to Zoraida. Now, this renegade was a sly fellow, and he bought a small vessel with which he began to ply to and fro between the city and some islands nearby, bringing back fruit each time, in order to alleviate all suspicions of his having acquired the vessel for any other purpose than trading. Finally it was decided the time had come for the escape, and the captive had himself ransomed.

However, to help the young woman escape, the captive had to trust an old Algerian renegade who turned out to be a follower of Christ. With this man, the captive sent messages to Zoraida. This renegade was clever; he bought a small boat and used it to travel back and forth between the city and nearby islands, bringing back fruit each time to avoid any suspicion that he had acquired the vessel for reasons other than trading. Finally, it was decided that the time had come for the escape, and the captive arranged for his own ransom.

That night the renegade had the ship anchored opposite the prison and Zoraida's garden, and, with the help of a number of Christians whom they had gathered as rowers, and who were eager to return to Spain, they secured the ship and put the Moorish crew in irons and chains.

That night, the renegade anchored the ship across from the prison and Zoraida's garden. With the help of several Christians they had gathered as rowers, who were eager to go back to Spain, they secured the ship and locked the Moorish crew in irons and chains.

Zoraida witnessed the proceedings from her window, and when she saw her captive and the renegade return in the skiff of the vessel, she hastened below into the garden. She was bedecked with a fortune in pearls and precious stones. She asked the renegade to follow her into the house, and when they returned, they brought with them a chest laden with gold. Just then her father was awakened and he began to shout in Arabic as loudly as he could that he was being robbed by Christians. Had it not been for the quick action of the renegade all might have been [Pg 106] lost. He bound and gagged the father and carried him downstairs, where Zoraida had fainted in the captive's arms. Then they hastened back to the ship and set sail for Majorca.

Zoraida watched the events unfold from her window, and when she saw her captive and the renegade return in the boat, she quickly went down to the garden. She was adorned with a fortune in pearls and precious stones. She invited the renegade to come into the house with her, and when they returned, they brought a chest filled with gold. Just then, her father woke up and started shouting in Arabic at the top of his lungs that he was being robbed by Christians. If it hadn't been for the renegade's quick thinking, everything could have been lost. He tied up her father and carried him downstairs, where Zoraida had collapsed in the captive's arms. Then they rushed back to the ship and set sail for Majorca.

It was some time before the old alcaide realized that his daughter had gone with the captive of her own free will, and when he learned it, he flung himself into the sea, but was rescued by one of the rowers. When he found himself then on board the ship, he began to curse his daughter, calling her a Christian dog and other vile names. Finally it was deemed best to set him and the other Moors ashore; and when the old man saw the ship sail away with his daughter, he began to sob and cry aloud in the most heartrending way, threatening to kill himself if she did not return to him. The last words that she heard were, "I forgive you all!" and they made her weep so bitterly that it seemed as if her tears would never cease flowing.

It took a while for the old alcaide to realize that his daughter had willingly gone with the captive, and when he found out, he jumped into the sea but was saved by one of the rowers. Once he was back on the ship, he started cursing his daughter, calling her a Christian dog and other ugly names. Eventually, it was decided that he and the other Moors should be put ashore; when the old man saw the ship leaving with his daughter, he began to sob and cry out in the most heartbreaking way, threatening to take his own life if she didn’t come back to him. The last words she heard were, "I forgive you all!" which made her weep so intensely that it felt like her tears would never stop.

They were then less than a day's voyage from the coast of Spain. As they were breezing along with all sails set, over a moonlit sea, they saw a large ship appear in the distance. It turned out to be a French corsair from Rochelle out for plunder, for when it came closer it suddenly fired two guns that took terrible effect and wrecked their vessel. As the ship began to sink, they begged to be taken aboard the corsair, to which the captain was not averse. Once aboard they were told that if they had been courteous enough to reply to the question shouted from the corsair as to what port they were bound for, their own vessel would still have been intact. The covetous crew stripped them of all their valuable belongings, the pearls and [Pg 107] jewels, money and adornments of Zoraida. The chest of gold, however, the renegade stealthily lowered into the sea without any one seeing it.

They were less than a day's trip from the coast of Spain. As they sailed smoothly with all their sails up on a moonlit sea, they spotted a large ship in the distance. It turned out to be a French privateer from Rochelle looking for loot, because when it got closer, it suddenly fired two cannons that caused devastating damage and sank their ship. As the vessel started going down, they pleaded to be taken aboard the privateer, which the captain was willing to do. Once on board, they were told that if they had been polite enough to answer the question shouted from the privateer about where they were headed, their own ship would still be afloat. The greedy crew took all their valuable possessions, including the pearls and jewels, money, and Zoraida's ornaments. However, the renegade secretly lowered the chest of gold into the sea without anyone noticing.

The next day when the Spanish coast was sighted the captain put them all in a skiff, gave them some bread and water for their voyage, and set out to sea. Before letting them depart, moved by some strange impulse, he gave Zoraida forty crowns; and he had not robbed her of her beautiful gown. They steered their skiff towards the shore, where they landed soon after midnight. Immediately they left the shore, eager to know where they were. They climbed the mountain—for the shore was a rocky one—and there they rested until dawn, then went on into the country.

The next day, when they spotted the Spanish coast, the captain put everyone in a small boat, gave them some bread and water for their trip, and sent them off to sea. Before they left, feeling a strange urge, he gave Zoraida forty crowns, and he didn’t take her beautiful dress. They steered the boat toward the shore, landing shortly after midnight. As soon as they reached the shore, they set off, eager to see where they were. They climbed the mountain—since the shore was rocky—and rested there until dawn, then continued into the countryside.

Soon they met a young shepherd; but when he saw their strange garbs, he ran away from them like a frightened lamb, crying that the Moors had invaded the country. And not so long after that they encountered fifty mounted men of the coast guard, but as soon as these saw their Moorish costumes and had heard the captive's explanation, they realized that the boy's vivid imagination had disturbed them needlessly. And when one of the Christian captives recognized in one of the guards an uncle of his, these men could not do enough for the returned slaves. They gave them their horses, some of them went to rescue the skiff for them, and when they arrived at the nearby city they were welcomed by all the inhabitants.

Soon, they met a young shepherd; but when he saw their strange clothing, he ran away from them like a scared lamb, shouting that the Moors had invaded the country. Not long after that, they ran into fifty mounted coast guard men, but as soon as these saw their Moorish outfits and heard the captive's explanation, they realized that the boy's wild imagination had alarmed them for no reason. And when one of the Christian captives recognized an uncle among the guards, those men couldn’t do enough for the freed captives. They gave them their horses, some went to retrieve the small boat for them, and when they reached the nearby city, they were warmly welcomed by all the residents.

At once they went to the church to return thanks to the Lord for their marvelous escape, and Zoraida was impressed [Pg 108] beyond expression with the hosts of praying worshippers. She, the renegade, and the captive stayed at the house of the returned Christian, and the rest were quartered throughout the town. After six days the renegade departed for Granada to restore himself to the Church through the means of the Holy Inquisition. One by one the other captives left for their own homes, and finally only Zoraida and he himself remained. He then decided to go in search of his father, whom he had not seen for so many years, and he did not know whether he was alive or not. His journey had brought him to this inn, and it was here that his story came to an end.

They immediately went to the church to thank the Lord for their incredible escape, and Zoraida was deeply moved by the many worshippers praying there. She, the renegade, and the captive stayed at the home of the returned Christian, while the others were spread out across the town. After six days, the renegade left for Granada to reconcile with the Church through the Holy Inquisition. One by one, the other captives returned to their homes, and eventually, only Zoraida and he remained. He then decided to search for his father, whom he hadn’t seen in many years and didn’t even know if he was still alive. His journey had led him to this inn, and it was here that his story came to an end.


CHAPTER XLII

Which Treats of What Further Took Place in the Inn, and of Several Other Things Worth Knowing

THE captive having finished his strange and interesting story, Don Fernando rose and thanked him, and all were eager for an opportunity to show him their goodwill. Don Fernando begged the stranger to allow him to provide for his comfort, and offered to take him to his brother, the Marquis, who, he said, would be most eager to act as Zoraida's godfather at her baptism. But the stranger declined graciously all the offers that were made.

THE captive, having finished his strange and interesting story, Don Fernando stood up and thanked him, and everyone was eager for a chance to show their goodwill. Don Fernando asked the stranger to let him take care of his needs and offered to bring him to his brother, the Marquis, who, he said, would be very excited to be Zoraida's godfather at her baptism. But the stranger politely declined all the offers that were made.

Night was now setting in, and each one was contemplating going to his room, when suddenly a coach with [Pg 109] attendants on horseback arrived at the inn. The landlady told the one demanding lodging that there was none to be had at any price. Whereupon the man replied that room must be found for his lordship, the Judge, his master. As soon as the landlady learned she was dealing with the law, she nearly fainted from exertion to please, and offered to give up their own room and bed to his lordship. By this time the Judge, attired in a long robe with ruffled sleeves, had stepped out of the coach, accompanied by a beautiful girl of about sixteen years of age. There were exclamations from all when they saw the young lady, for she possessed beauty and grace that were really rare.

Night was falling, and everyone was thinking about heading to their rooms when suddenly a coach with [Pg 109] attendants on horseback pulled up to the inn. The landlady informed the person asking for a room that there were none available at any price. The man responded that a room had to be found for his lordship, the Judge, his master. As soon as the landlady realized she was dealing with someone important, she nearly fainted from the effort to accommodate him and offered to give up their own room and bed for his lordship. By that time, the Judge, dressed in a long robe with ruffled sleeves, had stepped out of the coach, accompanied by a beautiful girl around sixteen years old. Gasps were heard from everyone when they saw the young lady, as her beauty and grace were truly exceptional.

The first one to greet the strangers was no other than Don Quixote, who, with a grave air and the most exalted and flowery language, bade them welcome to the castle. He finished his speech by saying: "Enter, your worship, into this paradise, for here you will find stars and suns to accompany the heaven your Worship brings with you. Here you will find arms in their supreme excellence, and beauty in its highest perfection."

The first one to greet the strangers was none other than Don Quixote, who, with a serious expression and the most elaborate and poetic language, welcomed them to the castle. He ended his speech by saying: "Enter, your grace, into this paradise, for here you will find stars and suns to complement the heaven you bring with you. Here you will find arms at their highest excellence, and beauty at its greatest perfection."

The Judge looked for a moment as if he hesitated about entering with his daughter after such an unusual reception; he seemed to wonder whether he was at an inn or an asylum. He scrutinized Don Quixote's curious armor, then turned his attention to the rest of the company, which evidently made him feel more at ease.

The Judge paused for a moment, seeming unsure about going in with his daughter after such an odd welcome; he appeared to question whether he was at a hotel or a mental institution. He examined Don Quixote's strange armor and then shifted his focus to the rest of the group, which clearly made him feel more comfortable.

It was arranged that the young lady should sleep with the other ladies; which pleased her greatly, for it was evident that she was very much taken with them and their [Pg 110] beauty. The Judge was as much pleased with the presence of so many people of quality as he was puzzled by Don Quixote and his strange appearance and behavior.

It was decided that the young woman would sleep with the other ladies, which made her very happy, as it was clear she was quite fond of them and their beauty. The Judge was just as pleased by the presence of so many distinguished people as he was confused by Don Quixote and his bizarre looks and actions.

The moment the former captive and captain had laid eyes on the Judge, he was stirred by the conviction that here was his own younger brother. He asked the Judge's name of one of the servants, and was told he was called the Licentiate Juan Perez de Viedma, lately appointed Judge of the Supreme Court of Mexico, to which country he was now on his way. The Captain inquired whether the servant knew from which part of Spain the Judge came, and got the reply that he had heard it rumored he was a native of a little village in the mountains of Leon. The Captain was then certain it was his brother, and he hastened to tell the curate, Don Fernando, and Cardenio, saying he felt diffident about making himself known too abruptly for fear his brother might refuse to acknowledge him because of his poverty and ill-fortune.

The moment the former captive and captain saw the Judge, he was struck by the feeling that this was his younger brother. He asked one of the servants the Judge's name and learned he was called Licentiate Juan Perez de Viedma, who had recently been appointed Judge of the Supreme Court of Mexico and was on his way there. The Captain then asked if the servant knew where the Judge was from, and the servant replied he had heard he was from a small village in the mountains of Leon. The Captain was then sure it was his brother, and he rushed to tell the curate, Don Fernando, and Cardenio, expressing his hesitation about revealing himself too suddenly for fear that his brother might not recognize him because of his poverty and misfortunes.

The curate understood the Captain's way of thinking, and asked that he trust him to manage it in a discreet way. So when the Judge invited them all to keep him company while he supped, the curate told the story of the captive at the table. In telling it he pretended to have been a captive in the hands of the Turks and the Algerians and a comrade-in-arms of the Captain. When he had finished the story, tears rolled down the Judge's cheeks, and he begged the curate to help him to find his beloved brother, for whom their aged father was ever praying, ever asking, hoping that he might see him once more before he closed his eyes in death. It was then that the Captain, himself [Pg 111] in tears, stepped forward and, the Judge having recognized him, embraced his brother. Then the Judge embraced Zoraida, offering her all the worldly goods he possessed. His daughter, the lovely young girl, now joined them, and all the others were moved to tears by the brothers' happiness in finding each other after so many years of separation.

The curate understood the Captain's way of thinking and asked him to trust him to handle it discreetly. So, when the Judge invited everyone to join him for dinner, the curate shared the story of the captive at the table. While telling it, he pretended to have been a captive of the Turks and the Algerians and a fellow soldier of the Captain. Once he finished the story, tears streamed down the Judge's face, and he pleaded with the curate to help him find his beloved brother, for whom their elderly father was always praying, always hoping to see him one more time before he passed away. At that moment, the Captain, also in tears, stepped forward, and the Judge recognized him and embraced his brother. Then the Judge hugged Zoraida, offering her all the possessions he had. His daughter, the beautiful young girl, joined them, and everyone else was moved to tears by the joy of the brothers reuniting after so many years apart.

Don Quixote stood gazing in silence at what passed before his eyes, ascribing the two brothers' luck to magic.

Don Quixote stood silently watching what was happening in front of him, believing that the luck of the two brothers was due to magic.

When the first emotion of the unexpected meeting had subsided, the Judge asked his brother and Zoraida to return with him to Seville, from where he would send a messenger to the father, telling him of the good news and begging him to come to the joint marriage and baptismal ceremony. As the Judge was obliged to leave for New Spain within a month, it was agreed that a speedy return to Seville was necessary.

When the initial shock of the unexpected meeting wore off, the Judge asked his brother and Zoraida to come back with him to Seville, where he would send a messenger to their father, sharing the good news and asking him to attend the joint marriage and baptism ceremony. Since the Judge had to leave for New Spain within a month, they all agreed that a quick return to Seville was essential.

It was now early morning, though still dark, and all were tired, so it was decided that every one should go to bed. But Don Quixote, sacrificing himself in spite of his fatigue, appointed himself to keep guard for the remainder of the night, fearing attack of some evil giant or beast upon all the beauty that was slumbering within. They, who were aware of his peculiar weakness, returned thanks in their most gracious manner; and when they were alone with the Judge they hastened to explain the knight's mental state. The Judge was much amused by the accounts of his adventures and his attempts to revive knight errantry in Spain.

It was early morning, though still dark, and everyone was tired, so they decided to go to bed. But Don Quixote, putting himself before his own fatigue, volunteered to keep watch for the rest of the night, worried about an attack from some evil giant or beast on all the beauty that was sleeping around him. Those who knew about his unique weakness thanked him graciously; and when they were alone with the Judge, they quickly explained the knight's mental state. The Judge found the stories of his adventures and his attempts to bring back chivalry in Spain quite entertaining.

There was only one unhappy being in the inn that night: that was Sancho Panza. He was not at all pleased with [Pg 112] his master's staying up at such a late hour. But there seemed nothing he could do about it, so he retired and spread himself comfortably on the trappings of his donkey.

There was only one unhappy person in the inn that night: that was Sancho Panza. He was not at all happy with his master's staying up so late. But there seemed to be nothing he could do about it, so he went to bed and settled in comfortably on the saddle of his donkey.

While Don Quixote was guarding the castle, and dawn was approaching, Dorothea, who had lain awake, was suddenly stirred by the sound of a man's voice, a voice so beautiful that it seemed to her there could be none sweeter in the world. Then Cardenio was awakened by it, and he felt that he ought to share the joy of hearing it with the ladies, so he went to the garret to call their attention to it. When he knocked on the door and told them, Dorothea called out that they were already listening. The only one not awake at that time was Doña Clara, the Judge's fair daughter.

While Don Quixote was keeping watch over the castle as dawn approached, Dorothea, who had been awake, was suddenly stirred by the sound of a man's voice, a voice so beautiful that she thought there could be none sweeter in the world. Then Cardenio was awakened by it, and he felt he should share the joy of hearing it with the ladies, so he went to the attic to get their attention. When he knocked on the door and told them, Dorothea called out that they were already listening. The only one still asleep at that time was Doña Clara, the Judge's lovely daughter.


CHAPTER XLIII

Wherein Is Related the Pleasant Story of the Muleteer, Together with Other Strange Things That Came to Pass in the Inn

DOROTHEA and the other ladies were in a quandary as to whether to awake Doña Clara or not. Finally they decided that she would be sorry if she had to learn what she had missed and would regret that they had not awakened her; so they shook her until she opened her eyes and then asked her to sit up in bed and listen. But scarcely had she heard one note, before she began to sob hysterically. She threw her arms around Dorothea and cried: "Why, oh, why did you wake me, dear lady? The [Pg 113] greatest kindness fortune could do me now would be to close my eyes and ears so that I could neither see nor hear that unhappy musician!"

DOROTHEA and the other ladies were unsure whether to wake Doña Clara or not. Eventually, they concluded that she would regret not being awakened and would be upset if she found out what she had missed; so they shook her until she opened her eyes and asked her to sit up in bed and listen. But as soon as she heard even one note, she started to sob uncontrollably. She wrapped her arms around Dorothea and cried: "Oh, why did you wake me, dear lady? The greatest kindness fortune could show me right now would be to close my eyes and ears so I could neither see nor hear that unhappy musician!"

Dorothea was at a loss to know what had happened to the child. All the while she was trying to soothe her, the tears were streaming down the young girl's face, and she was trembling like a leaf. Finally she quieted her feelings sufficiently to be able to confide to Dorothea in a whispering voice the story of her romance with the singer, who, she said, was not a muleteer as his garb would indicate, but the only son and heir of a rich noble of Aragon. This gentleman's house in Madrid was situated directly opposite her father's, and having once seen Doña Clara the youth proceeded to declare his love for her. She, being motherless and having no one to whom she could confide her love secrets, had to leave Madrid with her father, when he was given his appointment to New Spain, without an opportunity to see her lover. But as soon as the youth, who was not much older than herself, learned of their departure, he dressed himself up as a muleteer and set out on foot to pursue her. At every inn where they had stopped overnight she had found him awaiting their departure in the morning, and she was always in dread, she said, lest her father learn of their love for each other.

Dorothea was confused about what had happened to the child. While she was trying to comfort her, tears streamed down the young girl's face, and she trembled like a leaf. Eventually, she calmed down enough to whisper to Dorothea about her romance with the singer, who she claimed wasn’t a muleteer as his outfit suggested, but the only son and heir of a wealthy nobleman from Aragon. This nobleman’s house in Madrid was right across from her father's, and after seeing Doña Clara once, the young man declared his love for her. She, being motherless and without anyone to share her secrets with, had to leave Madrid with her father when he received his appointment to New Spain, without a chance to see her lover. But as soon as the young man, who was not much older than her, found out about their departure, he dressed like a muleteer and set out on foot to follow her. At every inn where they stopped overnight, she found him waiting for them to leave in the morning, and she was always afraid, she said, that her father would discover their love for each other.

With her arms tight around Dorothea, she confessed to her how great her love was for the youth, saying that she could never live without him. Dorothea kissed the girl, and promised her that with God's help all would end well, telling her to put her trust in Him; and before another day had passed she hoped to have good news for Doña Clara. [Pg 114] Dorothea's assurances calmed and put new faith in the young girl's heart; and soon they all were fast asleep again.

With her arms wrapped tightly around Dorothea, she admitted how deep her love was for the young man, saying she couldn't imagine living without him. Dorothea kissed the girl and promised that with God's help, everything would turn out fine, encouraging her to trust in Him; she hoped to have good news for Doña Clara by the next day. [Pg 114] Dorothea's reassurances eased the young girl's worries and renewed her faith; soon, they all fell asleep again.

Now, all this time the one-eyed Asturian maid, and the landlady's daughter, both bent on deviltry, were keeping their eyes open. It was impossible for them to forget Don Quixote, and they were determined to play a joke on him before the night was over. They posted themselves in the hayloft, where there was a hole in the wall; and when Don Quixote passed on Rocinante, he heard some one calling: "Pst! Come here, señor!"

Now, all this time, the one-eyed Asturian maid and the landlady's daughter, both up to no good, were keeping a lookout. They couldn't forget Don Quixote and were set on playing a prank on him before the night ended. They took their positions in the hayloft, where there was a hole in the wall; and when Don Quixote rode by on Rocinante, he heard someone calling: "Pst! Come here, sir!"

As Don Quixote turned to see who it might be, he discovered the hole in the wall and it seemed very much like a marvelously decorated window, in keeping with the beautiful castle he had made out of the inn. He beheld at this window the two maidens, and immediately they became to him the daughter of the lord of the castle and her attendant. Wistfully he gazed at them, certain, however, that they had designed to destroy his faithful and stubborn allegiance to Dulcinea, to whom he had just been sending up prayers and salutations under the influence of the moon. Then he spoke to them, regretting that they should let themselves be so overcome by love for him that they could no longer master their feelings. He told them of that great and only mistress of his soul, the incomparable one of El Toboso of La Mancha, to whom he had sworn eternal love and undying admiration. And at last he admonished the innkeeper's daughter to retire to her beauteous apartment, lest he should be forced to prove himself ungrateful. If, he said, she would demand any other thing [Pg 115] than love, he would willingly grant her the favor, even unto a lock of Medusa's hair.

As Don Quixote turned to see who it was, he found a hole in the wall that looked a lot like a beautifully decorated window, fitting for the lovely castle he had imagined out of the inn. He saw two maidens at this window, and immediately he thought they were the daughter of the lord of the castle and her attendant. He gazed at them longingly, convinced they were trying to undermine his loyal and stubborn devotion to Dulcinea, to whom he had just been sending prayers and greetings under the moonlight. Then he spoke to them, expressing regret that they had let their feelings for him overtake them. He told them about the one true mistress of his heart, the incomparable lady from El Toboso of La Mancha, to whom he had pledged eternal love and admiration. Finally, he advised the innkeeper's daughter to return to her lovely room, lest he be forced to act ungrateful. If, he said, she wanted anything other than love, he would gladly grant her a favor, even a lock of Medusa's hair.

The wench immediately realized that her opportunity had come, so she quickly said that she cared for no lock of Medusa's or any other, but would be satisfied to feel the touch of his hand.

The girl instantly understood that her chance had arrived, so she quickly said she didn’t care about any lock of Medusa’s or anyone else’s, but would be happy just to feel his hand.

Before sanctioning this demand, Don Quixote asserted his virtuousness again by stipulating that she must not kiss it, only touch it. He understood, of course, that any woman would be likely to ask such a favor of him at any time (for who would not be proud to have touched the sinewy hand of so remarkable and famous a knight errant as himself?) but he insisted on being discreet at all times. So he climbed up and stood on the saddle of his hack, reaching his lean arm through the hole in the wall.

Before agreeing to this request, Don Quixote reiterated his principles by insisting that she could only touch it, not kiss it. He knew, of course, that any woman would likely want to ask for such a favor from him at any time (after all, who wouldn’t want to say they had touched the strong hand of such a remarkable and famous knight-errant as him?) but he insisted on being discreet at all times. So he climbed up and stood on the saddle of his horse, reaching his thin arm through the hole in the wall.

By this time the Asturian maid had procured from the stable the halter of Sancho's donkey, on which her young mistress quickly made a running knot and passed it over Don Quixote's wrist. As soon as she had proceeded thus far in her deviltry, she jumped down from the hole and made fast the other end of the halter to the bolt of the door. Then she and her maid swiftly made off, bursting with laughter, leaving the knight to complain of the roughness of her touch.

By this time, the Asturian girl had gotten the halter from Sancho's donkey in the stable, which her young mistress quickly tied into a running knot and slipped over Don Quixote's wrist. Once she was done with her mischief, she jumped down from the hole and secured the other end of the halter to the door's bolt. Then she and her maid quickly took off, laughing uncontrollably, leaving the knight to grumble about how roughly she handled him.

But after a while Don Quixote began to realize that no one was there to listen to his complaints, and also that he was not standing too securely on his Rocinante's back; for should Rocinante move without being urged—a most unusual event—he would be left to hang in the air by one [Pg 116] arm. It suddenly came to him that he was a victim of enchantment, and he called on all the saints, and Dulcinea, and Sancho Panza, on all kind magicians and sages, and every one else he could think of, to come to his aid.

But after a while, Don Quixote realized that no one was there to hear his complaints, and also that he wasn't very steady on Rocinante’s back; if Rocinante moved without being urged—which was very unusual—he would be left hanging in the air by one [Pg 116] arm. It suddenly hit him that he was under some sort of enchantment, and he called on all the saints, Dulcinea, Sancho Panza, all kinds of magicians and wise people, and anyone else he could think of for help.

But no one came, until the morning brought four travelers on horseback. They found the gate still shut, so they called to Don Quixote, who by this time was almost exhausted. But although wearied, his spirit had not left him. He reprimanded the strangers for their insolence; asked whether they were so stupid they failed to realize that as yet the castle gates were not open, that all were asleep. He commanded them to withdraw to a distance and to approach the fortress after daylight; then he could better tell whether they should be permitted to enter or not.

But no one showed up until morning when four travelers on horseback arrived. They found the gate still closed, so they called out to Don Quixote, who was nearly worn out by then. However, even though he was fatigued, his spirit remained strong. He scolded the strangers for their impudence, asking whether they were too foolish to realize that the castle gates were still closed and that everyone was asleep. He commanded them to step back and to come closer to the fortress only after dawn; then he could better decide if they should be allowed in or not.

One of the travelers mistook Don Quixote for the innkeeper, and was immediately reprimanded for this. The offended knight then began to talk about knight errantry and its revival in the world, until finally the men tired of his discourse. Again they knocked at the gate, this time with such force and fury that the innkeeper woke up and came out and admitted them in a hurry. They entered violently on their horses, enraged because of their long waiting at the gate, and dismounted, leaving their horses free. The moment the horses saw Rocinante and the curious position of his master, they went to investigate him, and the unsuspecting Rocinante leaped from under Don Quixote with such suddenness that the poor knight's arm was nearly wrenched from his body. There he was [Pg 117] left to dangle, while the shouts that forced their way from his throat rent the air fiercely.

One of the travelers mistook Don Quixote for the innkeeper and was quickly called out for it. The offended knight then started talking about knight-errantry and its comeback in the world, until the men finally got tired of his speech. Once again, they knocked on the gate, this time with such force and anger that the innkeeper woke up, rushed out, and let them in. They burst in on their horses, furious from waiting at the gate for so long, and hopped off, leaving their horses to roam free. As soon as the horses spotted Rocinante and the odd position of their master, they went over to check him out, and the unsuspecting Rocinante jumped out from under Don Quixote so suddenly that the poor knight's arm almost got wrenched from his body. There he was left hanging, while the shouts that erupted from his throat filled the air with intensity. [Pg 117]


CHAPTER XLIV

In Which Are Continued the Unheard-of Adventures at the Inn

WHEN the landlord heard the terrible outcries of Don Quixote, he ran, greatly excited, to see who could be giving vent to such agony. The travelers joined him; and the Asturian maid was stirred to quick action by a bad conscience, as well as by the excited state of her master. She untied the halter, and Don Quixote fell so suddenly that his meager body landed like a dead weight on the ground.

WHEN the landlord heard the awful screams of Don Quixote, he rushed over, really eager to find out who was experiencing such pain. The travelers followed him; and the Asturian maid, feeling guilty and caught up in her master's panic, quickly sprang into action. She untied the halter, and Don Quixote fell so suddenly that his thin body hit the ground like a heavy weight.

The landlord and the travelers found him there, and asked him impatiently why he was making such a tremendous noise. He ignored their question entirely, pulled the rope off his wrist, and mounted his charger with as much nonchalance and elegance as his stiff limbs would permit. Then he haughtily raised his head, after having adjusted all his knightly paraphernalia, and circled down the field, returning in a canter. Having halted Rocinante, he bellowed out to those assembled "Whoever shall say that I have been enchanted with just cause, provided my lady the Princess Micomicona grants me permission to do so, I give him the lie, challenge him and defy him to single combat." [Pg 118]

The landlord and the travelers found him there and impatiently asked why he was making such a huge noise. He completely ignored their question, pulled the rope off his wrist, and got on his horse with as much coolness and grace as his stiff limbs would allow. Then he lifted his head high, after adjusting all his knightly gear, and rode around the field, returning at a trot. After stopping Rocinante, he shouted to the crowd, "Whoever claims that I've been enchanted without reason, as long as my lady Princess Micomicona allows me to, I challenge him to a duel." [Pg 118]

The landlord saw at once the effect these words of the poor demented knight had on his newly arrived guests, so he hastened to explain Don Quixote's condition to them. They then asked whether the innkeeper had seen a youth dressed like a muleteer. He replied that he had not; but just then one of the men exclaimed that the youth must be there, since the Judge's coach—which he had suddenly observed—was there. They then decided to dissemble, each one going to a different entrance of the inn, so there would be no chance for the youth to escape.

The landlord quickly noticed how the words of the poor crazy knight affected his new guests, so he rushed to explain Don Quixote's situation to them. They then asked if the innkeeper had seen a young man dressed like a muleteer. He replied that he hadn’t; but just then, one of the men shouted that the youth had to be there since he had just noticed the Judge's coach parked outside. They then decided to play it cool, each one heading to a different entrance of the inn so the youth wouldn’t have a chance to escape.

The landlord was curious to know what it was all about, but could arrive at no conclusion. The truth was that these men were servants of the young muleteer's father. And it was not long ere they had discovered him, lying asleep, never thinking that he would himself be pursued. The servant who roused him made a few caustic remarks to the young Don Luis—for this was his name—about his bed and the luxury of his surroundings, as particularly befitting a youth of his rank and breeding.

The landlord was eager to find out what was going on, but he couldn't figure it out. The reality was that these men worked for the young muleteer's father. It didn't take long for them to find him, lying asleep, completely unaware that he was being hunted. The servant who woke him up made some sarcastic comments to young Don Luis—this was his name—about his bed and the comfort of his surroundings, which seemed especially suitable for someone of his status and background.

Don Luis could not at first believe that he was really awake. He rubbed his eyes in astonishment, and failed to find a reply to the servant's remarks. The man then continued, advising his young master to return to his home at once, saying that his father, as a result of his disappearance, was dangerously ill. The youth was curious to learn how his father had found out what road he had taken and that he had disguised himself as a muleteer. The servant answered that a student to whom Don Luis had confided his love for Doña Clara, had told his master everything, when he saw how he suffered. [Pg 119]

Don Luis could hardly believe that he was actually awake at first. He rubbed his eyes in disbelief and couldn't respond to the servant's comments. The man went on, advising his young master to go home immediately, saying that his father was seriously ill because of his disappearance. The young man was eager to know how his father had discovered which path he took and that he had disguised himself as a muleteer. The servant explained that a student to whom Don Luis had shared his feelings for Doña Clara had told his father everything when he saw how distressed he was. [Pg 119]

Now, it chanced that another muleteer, who had been sleeping with Don Luis, could not keep what he was hearing to himself; besides, he deemed it best to disappear from the scene. He informed some of the guests of what had occurred, and thus it happened that Don Fernando and Cardenio learned of the plight of the young singer, whose voice they had so admired a short time before; and when the muleteer told them that his comrade was a young nobleman in disguise, they decided to go and help him in his quandary.

Now, it so happened that another muleteer, who had been sleeping next to Don Luis, couldn't keep what he was hearing to himself; plus, he thought it was best to leave the situation. He told some of the guests about what had happened, and that's how Don Fernando and Cardenio found out about the young singer's troubles, whose voice they had so admired just a little while ago; and when the muleteer mentioned that his friend was a young nobleman in disguise, they decided to go and help him out of his predicament.

They found the four men entreating Don Luis to return to his father; and the youth emphatically refusing to do so, saying that they might take him dead, but never alive.

They found the four men pleading with Don Luis to go back to his father; and the young man firmly refusing, saying they could take him dead, but never alive.

At this moment Dorothea saw Cardenio from her window, and she called him and told him the story of the lad and Doña Clara. He in turn related to her how the servants of the youth's father had come to take him back to his home. In telling Dorothea this news Cardenio was overheard by Doña Clara who would have swooned had not Dorothea supported her.

At that moment, Dorothea spotted Cardenio from her window and called out to him, sharing the story of the boy and Doña Clara. He, in response, explained how the youth's father's servants had come to take him back home. While Cardenio was relaying this news to Dorothea, Doña Clara overheard him and would have fainted if Dorothea hadn't caught her.

By this time the servants had brought Don Luis into the inn, threatening to take him back by force should he not go willingly. Again he protested, and at last the argument attracted all the guests, including Don Quixote, who had ceased his duties as guard for the present. The Judge was there too, and when one of the servants recognized in him their neighbor in Madrid, he pleaded with him to do all he could to make the young man return to his ill father.

By this time, the servants had brought Don Luis into the inn, threatening to drag him back if he didn’t go willingly. Again he protested, and eventually, the argument drew in all the guests, including Don Quixote, who had temporarily stopped his duties as a guard. The Judge was there too, and when one of the servants recognized him as their neighbor from Madrid, he urged him to do everything he could to persuade the young man to return to his sick father.

The Judge turned to the young muleteer, and saw that it was his neighbor's son; whereupon he embraced him [Pg 120] and asked in a fatherly way what had brought him there dressed in such a manner. With his arm around the youth's neck, the Judge withdrew with the lad to discuss the reasons for his disguise and for his leaving his father.

The Judge turned to the young muleteer and recognized that he was his neighbor's son. He pulled him into a hug [Pg 120] and asked in a fatherly tone what had him dressed that way and what had brought him there. With his arm around the young man's shoulders, the Judge led him away to talk about why he was in disguise and why he had left his father.

While the kindly Judge was thus occupied with Don Luis, a tumult suddenly arose at the gate of the inn. It was the landlord, trying to hold back two guests who had attempted to get away without paying. The innkeeper was stubbornly clinging to the garb of one of the adventurers, and in return was being pummeled mercilessly, until his face was a study in dark and fast colors, except his nose, which was tinted a running red. As soon as the landlady perceived her mate's distress, the thought struck her that this would be a most worthy opportunity for our valiant knight errant to show his skill as a swordsman and a wielder of the lance. So she dispatched her daughter, the fair young lady of the castle, to bring the knight her message of distress.

While the kind Judge was busy with Don Luis, a commotion suddenly broke out at the inn's gate. It was the landlord trying to stop two guests who were trying to leave without paying. The innkeeper was stubbornly hanging onto one of the adventurers’ clothing and was getting beaten up badly in return, his face displaying a mix of dark bruises, except for his nose, which was bright red. As soon as the landlady noticed her husband in trouble, she realized it would be the perfect chance for our brave knight-errant to demonstrate his sword-fighting and lance skills. So she sent her daughter, the beautiful young lady of the castle, to deliver the knight her urgent message.

Don Quixote received the young lady calmly and courteously, but said that he was in honor bound to engage in no combat except by the express permission of her Royal Highness the Princess Micomicona; she having granted it, there could be no doubt as to the outcome of any battle in which he chose to draw his sword. Seeing this, in her opinion, ill-timed hesitancy, the one-eyed Asturian muttered that by the time the Princess was found, her master would have passed the heavenly border. The Princess, however, was quickly summoned, and Don Quixote knelt on his stiff knees before her; but ere he had finished his long harangue of request, she—having been advised of the [Pg 121] urgency of the situation—had already given him permission and wished him godspeed.

Don Quixote greeted the young lady calmly and politely, but stated that he was honor-bound to fight only with the explicit permission of her Royal Highness, Princess Micomicona. Since she had granted it, there was no doubt about the outcome of any battle he chose to engage in. Observing what she thought was a poorly timed hesitation, the one-eyed Asturian muttered that by the time they found the Princess, her master would have already crossed into the afterlife. However, the Princess was quickly called, and Don Quixote knelt on his stiff knees before her. But before he could finish his lengthy speech of request, she—having been informed of how urgent the situation was—had already given him permission and wished him well.

Don Quixote arose and drew his sword, paced toward the gate, and then suddenly stopped short. All wondered what had happened to cause his hesitating thus, and the Asturian maid expressed her wonder aloud. Don Quixote was not long about the answer. He replied at once that this was no business for him; they had best call his squire. It was for Sancho, he said, that he reserved the task and joy of fighting such lowly people as the ones he saw before him here and now.

Don Quixote got up and drew his sword, walked toward the gate, and then suddenly stopped. Everyone was curious about why he hesitated, and the Asturian maid voiced her confusion. Don Quixote quickly answered that this wasn’t his fight; they should call his squire. He said it was for Sancho that he reserved the task and pleasure of battling such lowly people as those standing before him.

Now, while all of this was taking place, Don Luis, with tears in his eyes, was confessing to Doña Clara's father his great and indomitable love for her. This placed the Judge in a curious predicament, for he found himself forced to sit in judgment on the welfare of his own child. He was so taken with the charm and intelligence of the youth that he was anxious to have him for a son-in-law, particularly as his family was one of distinction, and extremely rich. Yet his better judgment told him that it would be wise to wait another day before giving his consent. He would have preferred to have Don Luis' father approve of the marriage, although he thought it almost certain that this gentleman would like to see his son married to a titled lady.

Now, while all of this was happening, Don Luis, with tears in his eyes, was confessing to Doña Clara's father his deep and unwavering love for her. This put the Judge in a tricky situation, as he had to decide on the future of his own child. He was so impressed by the young man's charm and intelligence that he was eager to have him as a son-in-law, especially since his family was distinguished and very wealthy. However, his better judgment told him that it would be wise to wait another day before giving his consent. He would have preferred to have Don Luis' father agree to the marriage, although he thought it was almost certain that this gentleman would want to see his son marry a woman of noble status.

And while the fate of the young lovers was being weighed by the Judge, peace had been declared between the innkeeper and the two travelers who, persuaded by the chivalrous words of Don Quixote, and the summoning of Sancho, had been made to see the light and pay the bill. By this [Pg 122] time everything was settled amicably, the landlord having demanded no special indemnity for his battered, many-colored face.

And while the Judge was deciding the fate of the young lovers, peace had been established between the innkeeper and the two travelers who, swayed by the noble words of Don Quixote and the urging of Sancho, came to their senses and paid the bill. By this [Pg 122] time, everything was resolved peacefully, with the landlord not asking for any special compensation for his bruised, multicolored face.

But who should loom up on the scene, now that everything was peaceful again, but the owner of Mambrino's golden helmet! This particular barber was now leading his donkey to the stable, when he suddenly discovered Sancho Panza hard at work repairing the barber's own trappings, which our Sancho had taken as booty at the time his master fell heir to the helmet. The barber left his donkey at no slow speed and ran towards Sancho, to whom he exclaimed threateningly "There, you thief, I have caught you! Give me my basin and my pack-saddle, and everything you robbed me of!"

But who should appear now that everything was peaceful again but the owner of Mambrino's golden helmet! This particular barber was leading his donkey to the stable when he suddenly spotted Sancho Panza busy fixing the barber's own gear, which Sancho had taken as loot when his master claimed the helmet. The barber quickly left his donkey and rushed over to Sancho, shouting angrily, "There, you thief, I've caught you! Give me back my basin and my pack-saddle, and everything else you stole from me!"

But Sancho was not willing to give up so easily things that he had gained as spoils in righteous warfare. He refuted with his fists, as well as by argument, the barber's coarse suggestion that he was a common highwayman; and his master, coming up at this instant, was proud and pleased to hear his faithful squire talk like that, and also to see the barber's teeth gone, which the force of Sancho's blow evidently had carried away. As a matter of fact, Sancho's demonstration of physical strength made such a profound impression on Don Quixote, that he decided his squire was not far from being eligible to knighthood.

But Sancho wasn’t about to give up so easily the things he had earned as spoils of just warfare. He fought back with his fists, as well as with words, against the barber's rude suggestion that he was just a common highway robber; and just then, his master arrived and felt proud and pleased to hear his loyal squire speak like that, especially since Sancho’s punch had clearly knocked some of the barber's teeth out. In fact, Sancho's display of strength made such a strong impression on Don Quixote that he decided his squire was close to being worthy of knighthood.

As soon as the barber was able to make himself heard again, he began to arraign both master and squire. He was not to be subdued. He told all that quickly gathered round them that they could assure themselves of the truth of what he said by fitting Sancho's saddle to his [Pg 123] own steed; furthermore, he said, they had plundered him of a basin.

As soon as the barber could speak again, he started to call out both master and squire. He was not going to back down. He told everyone who quickly gathered around that they could verify what he said by putting Sancho's saddle on his own horse; furthermore, he added, they had robbed him of a basin.

When Don Quixote heard this ridiculous accusation, his lips twisted into a scornful smile. He dispatched Sancho to fetch the helmet—which seemed to Sancho a dangerous move—and when Sancho returned with the basin, Don Quixote held it up with great self-assurance before everybody.

When Don Quixote heard this absurd accusation, he smirked with disdain. He sent Sancho to get the helmet—which Sancho thought was a risky thing to do—and when Sancho came back with the basin, Don Quixote proudly held it up in front of everyone.

"Your worships," said he, "may see with what face this squire can assert that this is a basin and not the helmet I told you of; and I swear by the order of chivalry I profess, that this helmet is the identical one I took from him, without anything added to or removed."

"Your honors," he said, "can see how this squire dares to claim that this is a basin and not the helmet I mentioned; and I swear by the code of chivalry I follow that this helmet is the same one I took from him, with nothing added or taken away."

This statement was corroborated in detail by Sancho, who added: "Since that battle my master has fought in the helmet only once. That was when he let loose the unfortunate ones in chains. And if it had not been for this basin-helmet he might have been killed in that engagement, for there were plenty of stones raining down on him at that time."

This statement was confirmed in detail by Sancho, who added: "Since that battle, my master has only worn the helmet once. That was when he freed the unfortunate ones in chains. And if it hadn't been for this basin-helmet, he might have been killed in that fight because there were a lot of stones falling on him at that time."


CHAPTER XLV

In Which the Doubtful Question of Mambrino's Helmet and the Pack-Saddle Is Finally Settled, with Other Adventures That Occurred in Truth and Earnest

THE barber appealed to those present and asked them what they thought about Don Quixote's nonsense; and it was then that it occurred to Don Quixote's friend, [Pg 124] the barber of his village to play a joke on his fellow barber. He solemnly asked the other barber whether he was out of his head, for of course anybody could see that it was a helmet, although, he admitted, not a complete one.

THE barber appealed to those present and asked them what they thought about Don Quixote's nonsense; and it was then that Don Quixote's friend, [Pg 124] the barber from his village, decided to play a prank on his fellow barber. He seriously asked the other barber if he was crazy, because obviously, anyone could tell that it was a helmet, although, he admitted, not a full one.

The poor barber was so taken aback, so perplexed that a learned barber, and a seemingly sane one otherwise, could not tell the difference between a basin and a helmet that he nearly toppled over. But when the worthy curate, Cardenio, Don Fernando, and all—for they realized at once the barber's joke—insisted that he was wrong, and that it was not a basin, the perspiration began to trickle down his face, and he exclaimed: "God bless me! Is it possible that such an honorable company can say that this is not a basin but a helmet? Why, this is a thing that would astonish a whole university, however wise it might be! And if this basin is a helmet, then the pack-saddle must be a horse's caparison!"

The poor barber was so shocked and confused that a knowledgeable barber, who otherwise seemed sane, couldn't tell the difference between a basin and a helmet that he almost fell over. But when the worthy curate, Cardenio, Don Fernando, and everyone else—because they immediately recognized the barber's joke—insisted he was mistaken and that it wasn’t a basin, sweat started to drip down his face, and he exclaimed: "Goodness! Is it really possible that such an honorable group can claim that this isn’t a basin but a helmet? This is something that would amaze an entire university, no matter how wise! And if this basin is a helmet, then the pack-saddle must be a horse's outfit!"

Some one present was quick to assert that it most certainly was a caparison and not a pack-saddle at all; that no one but a fool could take it for a pack-saddle. And when a gentleman of quality like Don Fernando offered to take the votes of those present and they turned out to be in favor of the pack-saddle's remaining a caparison, the barber thought he had gone completely mad.

Someone in the room quickly insisted that it was definitely a caparison and not a pack-saddle at all; only a fool would think it was a pack-saddle. And when a distinguished gentleman like Don Fernando suggested taking a vote among those present and it turned out in favor of the pack-saddle remaining a caparison, the barber thought he had completely lost his mind.

By this time the group of spectators had been increased by the arrival of the four servants of Don Luis, Don Luis himself, and three new guests—officers of the Holy Brotherhood, to whom the proceedings and the amusement of those present seemed utter foolishness. One of these uninitiated newcomers, one of the officers of the Brotherhood, dared to [Pg 125] say that any one who maintained that it was a helmet instead of a basin must be drunk. But he should not have said it, for our knight lifted his lance and let it fly out of his hand with such ferocity and such sure aim that if the officer had not been lucky enough to be able to dodge it, it would have pierced his body.

By this time, the crowd had grown with the arrival of Don Luis’s four servants, Don Luis himself, and three new guests—officers of the Holy Brotherhood—who thought the whole scene was complete nonsense. One of these newcomers, an officer of the Brotherhood, boldly claimed that anyone who insisted it was a helmet and not a basin must be drunk. But he shouldn’t have said that, because our knight raised his lance and threw it with such force and precision that if the officer hadn’t been quick enough to dodge it, he would have been hit.

The tumult that followed was indescribable. The landlord came to the rescue of his Brotherhood comrades. His wife fell into hysterics for fear he would be beheaded by Don Quixote's vicious sword. The women were all screaming, wailing, weeping and fainting. Then this tremendous din and noise was suddenly rent by the voice of Don Quixote; and like a flash there was peace, when the knight errant began to appeal in soft lucid tones for a cessation of hostilities. It was a curious thing to observe how willingly the demented man's appeal to reason was listened to by all. The confusion had struck most of them with terror and they were glad to heed in such a moment even the will of unreason.

The chaos that followed was beyond description. The landlord rushed to help his Brotherhood friends. His wife became hysterical, terrified he would be executed by Don Quixote's ruthless sword. The women were all screaming, crying, and fainting. Then, amidst the overwhelming noise, Don Quixote's voice suddenly cut through, and like a miracle, there was silence as the knight errant began to speak softly and clearly, calling for an end to the fighting. It was strange to see how eagerly everyone listened to the madman’s call for reason. The confusion had terrified most of them, and they were relieved to follow even the pleas of someone who was clearly delusional.

But as soon as there was quiet again, the grudge against Don Quixote that had established itself in the heart of one of the Brotherhood, began to assert itself. It suddenly came to his mind that among his warrants he had one for a man of Don Quixote's description who was accused of having set free a chain of galley-slaves. As soon as he had convinced himself that there could be no mistake about the identity, he strode forth and seized Don Quixote so abruptly by the collar that the knight nearly choked.

But as soon as everything went quiet again, the grudge against Don Quixote that had taken root in one of the Brotherhood's hearts started to surface. It suddenly occurred to him that among his warrants, he had one for a man fitting Don Quixote's description who was accused of freeing a group of galley slaves. Once he convinced himself there was no doubt about the identity, he marched over and grabbed Don Quixote by the collar so suddenly that the knight nearly choked.

"Help for the Holy Brotherhood!" the officer yelled aloud. "And that you may see that I demand it in earnest, [Pg 126] read this warrant which says this highwayman is to be arrested!"

"Help for the Holy Brotherhood!" the officer shouted. "And just so you know I'm serious about this, [Pg 126] read this warrant that says this highwayman needs to be arrested!"

Hardly did Don Quixote feel himself handled in so undignified a manner, when he clutched the villain's throat, foaming at the mouth like a wild beast. Luckily they were separated in time by Don Fernando and the rest, or they would have torn each other to pieces. Yet the officer was not willing to give up his claim on Don Quixote's person: a claim that our knight errant laughed at, for who had ever heard of members of the knighthood being dependent on jurisdiction? Did he, this base knave, this ill-born scoundrel, not know that the law of knights was in their swords, their charter in their prowess, and their edicts in their will? And then he calmly rambled on, his speech of denunciation culminating in this last crushing remark: "What knight errant has there been, is there, or will there ever be in the world, not bold enough to give, single-handed, four hundred cudgellings to four hundred officers of the Holy Brotherhood if they come in his way?"

Don Quixote couldn't believe how undignified he felt as he grabbed the villain by the throat, foaming at the mouth like a wild animal. Thankfully, Don Fernando and the others intervened just in time, or they would have torn each other apart. Still, the officer was not ready to give up his claim on Don Quixote, which the knight errant found amusing. Who had ever heard of knights being subject to anyone’s authority? Did this lowlife, this born loser, not know that a knight's law lies in their swords, their rights in their abilities, and their decisions in their will? He then continued talking, his rant reaching its peak with this final, powerful statement: "What knight errant has existed, exists, or ever will exist, who's not bold enough to single-handedly give four hundred beatings to four hundred officers of the Holy Brotherhood if they get in his way?"

While his master was thus discoursing in his usual vein, Sancho was reviewing past events at the inn, and he could not help but make this sad exclamation: "By the Lord, it is quite true what my master says about the enchantments of this castle, for it is impossible to live an hour in peace in it!" [Pg 127]

While his master was talking in his usual way, Sancho was reflecting on past events at the inn, and he couldn't help but let out this sorrowful remark: "I swear it's absolutely true what my master says about the enchantments of this castle; it's impossible to have a peaceful hour here!" [Pg 127]


CHAPTER XLVI

Of the End of the Notable Adventure of the Officers of the Holy Brotherhood; and of the Great Ferocity of Our Worthy Knight, Don Quixote

THE curate had to argue for some time with the officers of the Brotherhood before he could finally persuade them that it would serve no purpose to arrest Don Quixote, for, being out of his senses, he would in the end be released as a madman. Furthermore, he warned them, Don Quixote would never submit to force.

THE curate had to argue for a while with the officers of the Brotherhood before he could finally convince them that it wouldn't help to arrest Don Quixote, because, being out of his mind, he would eventually be set free as a madman. Moreover, he cautioned them that Don Quixote would never give in to force.

Sancho Panza and the barber were still quarreling over the pack-saddle and the other booty, and at last the officers agreed to act as mediators, and the differences were adjusted by arbitration. The curate settled for the basin by paying eight reals, and received a receipt for payment in full from the barber.

Sancho Panza and the barber were still arguing over the pack-saddle and the other loot, and finally, the officers decided to step in as mediators, resolving the issues through arbitration. The curate settled for the basin by paying eight reals and got a receipt in full from the barber.

Don Fernando, in the meantime, extracted a promise from three of the servants of Don Luis to return to Madrid, while the other one agreed to remain and accompany his young master to where Don Fernando wanted him to go. Doña Clara was sparkling with happiness; and Zoraida seemed to feel at home with the Christians, in spite of the noise and tumult she had had to live through during her short stay at the inn.

Don Fernando, in the meantime, got a promise from three of Don Luis's servants to return to Madrid, while the other one agreed to stay and go with his young master to where Don Fernando wanted him to go. Doña Clara was glowing with happiness; and Zoraida seemed to feel at home with the Christians, despite the noise and chaos she had experienced during her short stay at the inn.

The landlord did not forget the reckoning for the wine-skins and all the other things whose loss he could attribute [Pg 128] to Don Quixote, for he had witnessed the curate's paying off the debt for the barber's helmet. Don Fernando paid all the innkeeper's demands generously, after the curate had decided the claims were just.

The landlord didn't overlook the bill for the wine-skins and everything else he could blame on Don Quixote, since he had seen the curate settle the debt for the barber's helmet. Don Fernando generously covered all the innkeeper's demands after the curate determined that the claims were valid.

But when Don Quixote felt no discord in the air, he betook himself to the presence of Dorothea, knelt before her, and told her how willing and anxious he was to serve her and conquer her giant. And he requested that they make ready to leave. Her reply was simple and direct, for she told him that his will was hers. So Don Quixote ordered his squire to saddle Rocinante and his own donkey; but Sancho only shook his head in sorry fashion.

But when Don Quixote sensed no trouble in the air, he went to see Dorothea, knelt before her, and expressed how eager he was to serve her and defeat her giant. He asked her to get ready to leave. Her response was straightforward; she told him that his wishes were hers. So, Don Quixote instructed his squire to saddle Rocinante and his own donkey, but Sancho just shook his head sadly.

"Master," he said, "there is more mischief in the village than one hears of." And as his master begged him to speak freely, he burst out: "This lady, who calls herself ruler of the great kingdom of Micomicon, is no more so than my mother; for, if she was what she says, she would not go rubbing noses with one that is here every instant and behind every door."

"Master," he said, "there's more trouble in the village than you realize." And when his master urged him to speak openly, he exclaimed, "This lady, who claims to be the ruler of the great kingdom of Micomicon, is no more a ruler than my mother; because if she were who she says she is, she wouldn’t be constantly getting close to someone who’s around every second and hiding behind every door."

Though it was merely with her husband, Don Fernando, that she had, as Sancho said, rubbed noses, the crimson in her royal blood came to the surface, and her face turned as red as a beet. Sancho, fearing that the Princess was a courtesan, wanted to save his master the two years' journey to Micomicon, if at the end of it it should turn out that another one than Don Quixote or himself should reap the fruits of their labor.

Though it was only with her husband, Don Fernando, that she had, as Sancho put it, rubbed noses, the royal blood in her ran hot, and her face flushed bright red. Sancho, worried that the Princess might be a courtesan, wanted to spare his master the two-year journey to Micomicon if it turned out that someone other than Don Quixote or himself would enjoy the rewards of their efforts in the end.

It is impossible to describe the terrible wrath of the knight when he heard the Princess thus slandered. His indignation and fury knew no bounds. He began to stammer [Pg 129] and stutter, inarticulate with rage, until Sancho was scared out of his wits, afraid of being cut open by his raving master's sword. He was just about to turn his back on his master and disappear till the storm had passed, when Dorothea came to his rescue. She suggested that Sancho's strange behavior could only be ascribed to one thing: enchantment. How else could he have seen such diabolical things as he described, how could he have been made to bear false witness against her, and how could he have spoken words so offensive to her modesty? Knowing the heart of Sancho, Don Quixote at once thought her explanation a most ingenious one, for what else could have put into Sancho's head such disrespect for a royal personage? Don Fernando, too, pleaded in Sancho's behalf; and Sancho meekly stumbled to his knees before his master, and kissed his hand frantically, begging him for forgiveness. Whereupon our knight errant with many gestures pardoned and blessed him.

It’s impossible to describe the knight's intense anger when he heard the Princess being slandered. His outrage and fury were limitless. He started to stutter and stammer, completely lost in his rage, which scared Sancho out of his mind, fearing he might get sliced open by his master's wild sword. Just as he was about to turn and flee until the chaos died down, Dorothea stepped in to help. She suggested that Sancho's strange behavior could only be due to one thing: enchantment. How else could he have witnessed such wicked things as he described, how could he have been made to lie about her, and how could he have spoken words so disrespectful to her modesty? Understanding Sancho's heart, Don Quixote immediately found her explanation to be very clever, for what else could have caused Sancho to show such disrespect for someone of royal status? Don Fernando also advocated for Sancho; and Sancho humbly dropped to his knees before his master, frantically kissing his hand and begging for forgiveness. Our knight-errant then pardoned and blessed him with many gestures.

"Now, Sancho, my son," he said, "thou wilt be convinced of the truth of what I have many a time told thee, that everything in this castle is done by means of enchantment."

"Now, Sancho, my son," he said, "you will see the truth of what I have told you many times before, that everything in this castle happens through magic."

To which Sancho Panza replied meekly but firmly: "So it is, I believe, except the affair of the blanket, which came to pass in reality by ordinary means."

To which Sancho Panza replied softly but confidently: "That's true, I think, except for the blanket incident, which actually happened in a normal way."

But Don Quixote as usual was not in a mood to listen to nonsense, and he replied that if such were the case he would have avenged him, but seeing no one to avenge himself upon, how could it have been anything else but enchantment? [Pg 130]

But Don Quixote, as always, wasn’t in the mood for nonsense. He replied that if that were the case, he would have avenged him, but since he saw no one to take revenge on, how could it be anything other than enchantment? [Pg 130]

Those who were there were eager to know what had happened to Sancho, and the landlord was most obliging in giving a graphic description of all that had occurred. They all seemed to enjoy the account enormously, for they laughed hilariously. Had Don Quixote not again assured Sancho that it most certainly had happened by enchantment, there is no doubt that he would have interrupted their hilarity.

Those who were present were curious about what had happened to Sancho, and the landlord was very helpful in providing a detailed account of everything that took place. Everyone seemed to find the story very entertaining, as they laughed heartily. If Don Quixote hadn't insisted to Sancho that it definitely happened due to enchantment, there's no doubt he would have interrupted their laughter.

It was now two days since they had arrived at the inn, and Don Fernando and Dorothea were becoming anxious to depart. In order that they might not have to go out of their way, it was arranged that they should go by themselves; meanwhile a scheme was devised whereby the curate and the barber could restore Don Quixote to his native village.

It had been two days since they arrived at the inn, and Don Fernando and Dorothea were getting anxious to leave. To avoid going out of their way, they decided to set off on their own; meanwhile, a plan was made for the curate and the barber to take Don Quixote back to his hometown.

An ox-cart passed that day, and the curate, hearing it was going in the direction of El Toboso, made arrangements with the owner to make the journey with him. Then he ordered some of the servants to make a cage, large enough to hold Don Quixote, and provided it with bars. He then asked Don Fernando and his companions, the officers of the Holy Brotherhood, the servants of Don Luis, and the innkeeper to cover their faces and change their appearance so that Don Quixote would think they were quite different people.

An ox-cart passed by that day, and the curate, hearing it was heading towards El Toboso, arranged to travel with the owner. He then instructed some of the servants to build a cage large enough to hold Don Quixote, complete with bars. After that, he asked Don Fernando and his companions, the officers of the Holy Brotherhood, Don Luis's servants, and the innkeeper to cover their faces and change their appearance so that Don Quixote would believe they were entirely different people.

When this had been done they tiptoed to the valiant knight errant's room, where they found him fast asleep, bound him, without waking him, hand and foot; then they stood about the room silently. When the knight awoke, he was startled to find that he could not move, and seeing [Pg 131] all these strangely conjured-up figures before him, it struck him they must be phantoms of the enchanted castle. He was absolutely helpless, and the men had no difficulty in stuffing him into the cage. The bars were nailed on securely, and the cage was then carried out of the inn and placed in the ox-cart.

When they finished, they quietly made their way to the brave knight's room, where they found him fast asleep. They tied him up without waking him, hands and feet, and then stood around the room in silence. When the knight woke up, he was shocked to discover he couldn't move, and seeing all these strange figures in front of him, he thought they must be spirits from the enchanted castle. He was completely defenseless, and the men easily put him into the cage. They nailed the bars on securely, and then the cage was carried out of the inn and placed in the ox-cart.

While the procession slowly proceeded from the inn to the ox-cart, the men supporting the cage on their shoulders, the barber chanted strange words in a weird and hollow voice. The barber took it upon himself to become the prophet of the occasion, and he proclaimed to the Knight of the Rueful Countenance that he ought not to consider his present imprisonment an affliction. It was in a way a sort of penance, he said, through which he would be humbled to be in readiness for a still greater, sweeter imprisonment, the bond of matrimony. This prediction would come true, he avowed, when the fierce Manchegan lion and the tender Tobosan dove met again. They would be joined in one, and the offspring of this union would be of such stuff as to set the world aflame.

While the procession slowly made its way from the inn to the ox-cart, the men carrying the cage on their shoulders, the barber chanted strange words in a weird, hollow voice. The barber took it upon himself to be the prophet of the moment, declaring to the Knight of the Rueful Countenance that he shouldn’t view his current imprisonment as a misfortune. It was, in a way, a form of penance, he said, meant to humble him so that he would be ready for an even greater, sweeter imprisonment: the bond of marriage. This prediction would come true, he insisted, when the fierce Manchegan lion and the gentle Tobosan dove reunited. They would be joined as one, and the offspring of this union would be so extraordinary that they would set the world ablaze.

When Don Quixote heard these words, he was stirred into an exalted emotion. Had he not been well bound it would have been expressed by kneeling. He raised his eyes toward Heaven and thanked the Lord for having sent this prophet to him in this needy moment. He prayed that he should not be left to perish in the cage, and also implored of the prophet not to let his faithful Sancho Panza abandon him, saying that if by chance the promise of the island should not come true, he had made provision for him in his will. Sancho was much moved by what his encaged [Pg 132] and enchanted master had said, and he bent down and kissed his hands—he had to kiss both since they were tied together. By that time the procession had arrived at the ox-cart, and all was ready for the departure.

When Don Quixote heard these words, he felt a surge of exaltation. If he hadn't been tied up, he would have knelt down. He looked up at Heaven and thanked the Lord for sending him this prophet in his time of need. He prayed not to be left to perish in the cage and also begged the prophet not to let his loyal Sancho Panza abandon him, saying that if the promise of the island didn't come true, he had taken care of Sancho in his will. Sancho was deeply touched by what his imprisoned and enchanted master said, and he bent down to kiss his hands—he had to kiss both since they were tied together. By then, the procession had reached the ox-cart, and everything was ready for departure.


CHAPTER XLVII

Of the Strange Manner in Which Don Quixote of La Mancha Was Carried Away Enchanted, Together with Other Remarkable Incidents

DON QUIXOTE was greatly perplexed and, indeed, somewhat impatient with the slow speed of the cart carrying away this enchanted knight. The cart had rolled only a few paces and then stopped; there was nothing exciting or heroic in being carried off in such a way! Never had he read anywhere of so ridiculously slow and tame a proceeding. And on an ox-cart! However, times had changed, and he realized that until he had established the new era of knight-errantry, the most plebeian ways of being captured by enchantment would have to serve. Yet, he did not consider it beneath his dignity to ask Sancho what he thought on the subject.

DON QUIXOTE was really confused and a bit impatient with how slow the cart was moving, taking away this enchanted knight. The cart had only rolled a few feet before it stopped; there was nothing exciting or heroic about being taken away like this! He had never read about such a ridiculously slow and tame situation. And on an ox-cart! But times had changed, and he understood that until he established the new era of chivalry, he would have to put up with the most ordinary ways of being captured by magic. Still, he didn’t feel it was beneath him to ask Sancho what he thought about it.

"I don't know what to think," answered Sancho, "not being as well read as your Worship in errant writings; but for all that, I venture to say and swear that these apparitions that are about us are not quite Catholic."

"I don't know what to think," Sancho replied, "since I'm not as well read as you in knightly tales; but still, I dare to say and swear that these visions around us are not very Catholic."

Don Quixote could not refrain from laughing aloud at his squire's simplicity. How could they be Catholics [Pg 133] when they were devils, made of no substance whatever, nothing but air?

Don Quixote couldn't help but laugh out loud at his squire's naivety. How could they be Catholics [Pg 133] when they were devils, made of nothing at all, just air?

"HE PRAYED THAT HE SHOULD NOT BE LEFT TO PERISH IN THE CAGE."—Page 131 "He prayed that he wouldn't be left to die in the cage."— __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__

"By the Lord, Master," interrupted Sancho excitedly, "I have touched them already, and one of the devils, I swear, has firm flesh. Furthermore, I have always heard it said that all devils smelled of sulphur and brimstone, but this one smells of amber half a league off."

"By the Lord, Master," Sancho interrupted excitedly, "I've already touched them, and I swear one of the devils has solid flesh. Also, I've always heard that all devils smell like sulfur and brimstone, but this one smells of amber from half a mile away."

Here Sancho was referring to Don Fernando, who, like most nobles, used a perfume; but Don Quixote explained to his squire that this particular devil was so besprinkled in order to give people the impression he was not a devil.

Here Sancho was talking about Don Fernando, who, like most nobles, used a perfume; but Don Quixote explained to his squire that this particular devil was so spruced up to make people think he wasn't a devil.

While Don Quixote and his squire were thus exchanging thoughts on the subject of devils and their religion and what stuff they were made of, the curate and the barber were saying farewell to Don Fernando, his bride, Dorothea, Cardenio, Luscinda, the Judge and Doña Clara, as well as to the Captain and the Captain's bride, Zoraida. All of them promised to write to the curate, so that he in return might let them know how his and Don Quixote's journey had ended.

While Don Quixote and his squire were discussing devils and their beliefs and what they were made of, the curate and the barber were saying goodbye to Don Fernando, his bride Dorothea, Cardenio, Luscinda, the Judge and Doña Clara, along with the Captain and the Captain's bride, Zoraida. They all promised to write to the curate so he could update them on how his and Don Quixote's journey had turned out.

After many embraces, the curate and the barber were ready to make their departure when the landlord came running out with some papers which he handed to the curate as a gift. The landlord said it was the manuscript of the novel, "Rinconete and Cortadillo," a part of the contents of the valise in which he had found the story of "Ill-Advised Curiosity," which the curate had read aloud at the inn.

After many hugs, the curate and the barber were about to leave when the landlord came rushing out with some papers and handed them to the curate as a gift. The landlord said it was the manuscript of the novel "Rinconete and Cortadillo," which was part of the contents of the bag where he had found the story of "Ill-Advised Curiosity," which the curate had read out loud at the inn.

The curate thanked the innkeeper, saying that he hoped it was as good as the other novel. Then he and the barber [Pg 134] covered their faces that they might not be recognized by Don Quixote, and took their places behind the cart, mounted on their mules. The three officers of the Brotherhood had been brought by the curate to escort them to El Toboso, armed with muskets. And then Sancho Panza, mounted on his donkey, led Rocinante by the reins. As the procession started, the landlady came out to weep make-believe tears for Don Quixote, who begged her to shed none, for in the end, he said, virtue would triumph.

The curate thanked the innkeeper, saying he hoped it was as good as the other novel. Then he and the barber [Pg 134] covered their faces so Don Quixote wouldn’t recognize them and took their places behind the cart, riding on their mules. The three officers of the Brotherhood had been brought by the curate to escort them to El Toboso, armed with muskets. And then Sancho Panza, riding his donkey, led Rocinante by the reins. As the procession began, the landlady came out to pretend to cry for Don Quixote, who asked her not to shed any tears because, in the end, he said, virtue would prevail.

At the head of the procession came the ox-cart, the officers of the Brotherhood marching beside it, then followed Sancho Panza on his ass, leading Rocinante by the bridle, and in the rear trailed the curate and the barber on their mules. The slow pace of the oxen had to be imitated by the rest, so the whole procession took on a solemn and mysterious aspect, which was enhanced by the encaged Don Quixote's stiff and stone-like form leaning against the wooden bars.

At the front of the procession was the ox-cart, with the Brotherhood's officers walking beside it. Next was Sancho Panza on his donkey, leading Rocinante by the bridle, followed by the curate and the barber on their mules bringing up the rear. Everyone had to keep up with the slow pace of the oxen, which gave the entire procession a serious and mysterious vibe, made even more striking by the rigid, statue-like figure of Don Quixote leaning against the wooden bars of his cage.

They had traveled several leagues, when the curate heard the sound of riders approaching from behind. Turning in his saddle he perceived six or seven men, mounted on mules, and riding at a quick pace. They had soon overtaken the procession, and exchanged greetings with the curate and the barber. One of the travelers was a canon of Toledo, and on observing the fettered Don Quixote, with the armed officers of the Brotherhood as an escort, he took it for granted that the knight was some dangerous highwayman. Yet, scrutinizing the strange parade, he could not help asking questions. So when he inquired of one of the officers why Don Quixote was being transported [Pg 135] in that way, the officer did not know what to say but referred him for an explanation to Don Quixote himself.

They had traveled several miles when the curate heard the sound of riders coming up from behind. Turning in his saddle, he saw six or seven men on mules, riding quickly. They soon caught up with the procession and exchanged greetings with the curate and the barber. One of the travelers was a canon from Toledo, and upon seeing the bound Don Quixote, escorted by armed officers of the Brotherhood, he assumed the knight was some dangerous outlaw. However, as he examined the unusual scene, he couldn't help but ask questions. So when he asked one of the officers why Don Quixote was being transported in that way, the officer didn’t know what to say and referred him to Don Quixote himself for an explanation.

The knight errant had heard the canon's question, and he offered to give him the information if he knew anything about errantry. As the canon said he had read a good deal about knights errant and their deeds, Don Quixote was quick to tell of his misfortune—how he had been encaged and made helpless by enchantment. At this moment the curate, seeing that the canon was talking to Don Quixote, and fearing a mishap in the carrying out of their plan, came up and joined in the conversation. He corroborated what the knight errant had just said, and added that it was not for his sins that he was enchanted, but because of his enemies' hatred of virtuous deeds, of which this famous Knight of the Rueful Countenance was the strongest champion in their age.

The knight errant heard the canon's question and offered to share what he knew about errantry. The canon mentioned he had read a lot about knights errant and their adventures, so Don Quixote quickly recounted his misfortune—how he had been trapped and rendered powerless by enchantment. At that moment, the curate, noticing the canon was talking to Don Quixote and worried about their plan going wrong, stepped in to join the conversation. He backed up what the knight errant had just said and added that Don Quixote wasn't enchanted because of his faults, but rather due to his enemies' resentment of good deeds, of which this well-known Knight of the Rueful Countenance was the greatest champion of their time.

When the good canon heard the two of them talk like that, he was at a loss for words and felt he had to cross himself, in which action his attendants joined him. But as luck would have it, Sancho Panza had been listening, and seeing the curate disguised by a mask, the suspicion crept into his head that he was trying to play a joke on his master. So he burst into the conversation with a grudge against them all.

When the good canon heard the two of them talking like that, he was left speechless and felt the need to cross himself, and his attendants followed suit. But as luck would have it, Sancho Panza had been listening, and seeing the curate disguised by a mask, he began to suspect that he was trying to play a prank on his master. So he jumped into the conversation with a grudge against all of them.

"Well, sirs, you may like it or not," he declared, "but my master is as much enchanted as my mother! He is in his full senses; he can eat, and sleep, and drink. Then why do they want me to believe that he is enchanted? I have heard it said that when you are enchanted you cannot do any of these things, nor talk. And my master will [Pg 136] talk more than thirty lawyers would if you do not stop him." Then turning to the curate, he exclaimed: "And, señor curate, señor curate! Do you think I do not know you? Well, I can tell you I do, for all your face is covered; and I can tell you I am up to you, however you may hide your tricks. If it had not been for your Worship, my master would be married to the Princess Micomicona this minute, and I should be a Count at least—for no less was to be expected."

"Well, gentlemen, you might like it or not," he said, "but my master is just as enchanted as my mother! He’s completely aware; he can eat, sleep, and drink. So, why do they want me to believe he’s enchanted? I've heard that when someone is enchanted, they can’t do any of those things or talk. And my master will [Pg 136] talk more than thirty lawyers would if you don’t stop him." Then turning to the curate, he exclaimed: "And, señor curate, señor curate! Do you think I don’t know who you are? Well, I can tell you I do, even with your face covered; and I can tell you I see right through your tricks. If it weren't for you, my master would be married to Princess Micomicona right now, and I would be a Count at least—because anything less wouldn’t be expected."

And then the faithful Sancho went on to say that he had told all this that the curate might weigh in his conscience the pranks he had played on Don Quixote, and for which he would have to pay in heaven (if he ever should come there) unless he did penance now. Here the barber thought it best to put an end to Sancho's communications, and offered him a place in the cage beside his master, but Sancho was quick to retort: "Mind how you talk, master barber, for shaving is not everything; and as to the enchantment of my master, God knows the truth!"

And then the loyal Sancho went on to say that he told all this so the curate could reflect on the tricks he had played on Don Quixote, and for which he would have to answer in heaven (if he ever made it there) unless he did penance now. At this point, the barber thought it was best to cut off Sancho's remarks and offered him a spot in the cage next to his master, but Sancho quickly shot back, "Watch how you speak, master barber, because shaving isn't everything; and when it comes to my master's enchantment, only God knows the truth!"

Soon after Sancho had commenced his tirade, the curate thought it best, having listened to his own denunciation, to explain everything concerning the knight errant and his squire to the canon. Therefore he asked him to ride on ahead with him. When the canon had heard the whole story, he remarked that he thought that books of chivalry were really harmful, for not one of them was truthful. He was amused when the curate related how he and the barber had burned nearly all of Don Quixote's treasures in literature of this sort.

Soon after Sancho started his rant, the curate decided it was best, after hearing his own complaints, to explain everything about the knight and his squire to the canon. So, he asked him to ride ahead with him. Once the canon heard the whole story, he remarked that he thought books about chivalry were really harmful, because none of them told the truth. He was amused when the curate shared how he and the barber had burned almost all of Don Quixote's treasures in this kind of literature.

"But what mind," asked the canon, "that is not wholly [Pg 137] barbarous and uncultured can find pleasure in reading of how a great tower full of knights sails away across the sea like a ship with a fair wind, and will be to-night in Lombardy and to-morrow morning in the land of Prester John of the Indies?"

"But what mind," asked the canon, "that isn't completely barbaric and uncultured can enjoy reading about how a huge tower full of knights sails away across the sea like a ship with a fair wind, and will be tonight in Lombardy and tomorrow morning in the land of Prester John of the Indies?"


CHAPTER XLVIII

In Which the Canon Pursues the Subject of the Books of Chivalry, With Other Matters Worthy of His Wit

THE curate and the canon had become very much interested in their subject, and the canon after a while confided to the curate that he himself had once started to write a book on chivalry, with the intention of making each incident in it a plausible one. It was his view that fiction was all the better the more it resembled the truth. Furthermore, he believed in adhering to good taste and to the rules of art; these things, it seemed to him, had been ignored in the writing of these books. From fiction the conversation drifted to playwriting, and here again the curate and the canon were of the same mind. The actors of their age chose plays that appealed to people of nonsense and with bad taste. Instead of trying to improve the national taste, they produced tawdry plays. The canon cited three excellent plays, however, that he had seen at Madrid, which had earned great profits for their producers; this proved to the canon that the great [Pg 138] mass of the public did appreciate a really good play if it was only produced.

THE curate and the canon had become very interested in their topic, and after a while, the canon told the curate that he had once started to write a book about chivalry, aiming to make every event in it believable. He believed that fiction was better when it resembled reality. Additionally, he thought it was important to adhere to good taste and the rules of art; he felt that these aspects had been overlooked in the writing of those books. The conversation then shifted from fiction to playwriting, and once again, the curate and the canon were on the same page. The actors of their time chose plays that appealed to those with poor taste and senselessness. Instead of working to elevate national taste, they produced cheap plays. However, the canon mentioned three fantastic plays he had seen in Madrid that had made significant profits for their producers; this demonstrated to the canon that the general public did appreciate a truly good play if it was simply presented.

While the two clergymen were thus whiling away the time, the barber approached and told the curate they had reached a place which to him seemed a good pasture for the oxen. It was now noon, and the canon decided to join them in their rest. He offered them food out of the provisions that he had brought along on a pack-mule. The rest of the canon's mules were sent to an inn, which was seen nearby, to be fed there.

While the two clergymen were passing the time, the barber came over and told the curate that they had reached a spot that looked like a good pasture for the oxen. It was noon now, and the canon decided to join them in their break. He offered them food from the supplies he had brought on a pack-mule. The other mules belonging to the canon were sent to a nearby inn to be fed there.

Seeing his master unguarded, Sancho decided the time had come when he could speak undisturbedly to him, so he hastened to tell him of the plot that the curate and the barber had hit upon. He told his master he was certain it was out of envy and malice, for his having surpassed them in fame and brave deeds. Don Quixote, however, calmly told his squire that if he saw two shapes that resembled the barber and the curate there, they could be nothing but devils having taken on the appearance of his friends in order to be able to do their black deeds so much the more safely and cruelly.

Seeing his master unguarded, Sancho decided it was the right moment to speak to him without interruption, so he quickly shared the plot that the curate and the barber had come up with. He told his master he was sure it was out of jealousy and spite, because he had outshone them in fame and heroic acts. Don Quixote, however, calmly told his squire that if he saw two figures resembling the barber and the curate there, they could only be demons disguised as his friends to carry out their wicked plans more safely and cruelly.


CHAPTER XLIX

Which Treats of How Our Knight Is Permitted to Descend from His Cage, and of the Canon's Attempt to Convert Him from His Illusions

DURING his conversation with Sancho, Don Quixote suddenly felt it an absolute necessity to leave the cage, and to stretch himself in the open. So Sancho went [Pg 139] to the curate to ask his permission, which he received upon promising to answer for his master's not disappearing. The curate and the canon went to the cage, and Don Quixote swore as a knight that he would not run away, whereupon they untied his hands and feet.

DURING his conversation with Sancho, Don Quixote suddenly felt it was crucial to leave the cage and stretch out in the open. So, Sancho went to the curate to ask for permission, which he got after promising to vouch for his master not escaping. The curate and the canon went to the cage, and Don Quixote swore as a knight that he wouldn't run away, after which they untied his hands and feet.

The first thing Don Quixote did was to go to his Rocinante; and then the canon thought he would try to talk sense into him, to see whether he could not persuade him to give up his crazy notions and ideas. Don Quixote listened courteously and attentively, but when the canon had finished, he turned to him and said he rather thought it was the canon and not he who was afflicted and out of his wits, since he had the audacity to blaspheme the order of knighthood. And then he went on, describing the deeds of all the famous knights he had read of; and the canon was really amazed at the great ease and clearness of mind with which he related these tales of adventure. He thought it a pity that so much knowledge of a wrong kind should be heaped into one brain.

The first thing Don Quixote did was head over to his Rocinante; then the canon figured he would try to reason with him, hoping he could convince him to ditch his crazy ideas. Don Quixote listened politely and intently, but when the canon finished, he turned to him and said he actually thought it was the canon, not him, who was disturbed and out of his mind, since he had the nerve to disrespect the concept of knighthood. He then went on to describe the exploits of all the famous knights he had read about; the canon was truly impressed by the clarity and ease with which he shared these adventure stories. He thought it was a shame that so much knowledge of the wrong kind was packed into one mind.


CHAPTERS L-LI

Of the Shrewd Controversy Which Don Quixote and the Canon Held, Together with Other Incidents

WHAT the canon had tried on the knight, Don Quixote now decided to try on him. Was that not the great mission he had undertaken in the world—to revive the spirit of chivalry? So he told the canon of the many [Pg 140] fine qualities he had developed since he was dubbed a knight, such as courtesy, generosity, valor, good breeding, patience, and many others that he mentioned; how he had learned to bear hardships of all kinds, and now, of late, enchantment. He ended his long discourse by expressing a desire that he might soon be an emperor, for, he said, he wished to do good to some of his faithful friends, especially his squire Sancho Panza.

WHAT the canon had tried on the knight, Don Quixote now decided to try on him. Was that not the great mission he had undertaken in the world—to revive the spirit of chivalry? So he told the canon about the many fine qualities he had developed since being dubbed a knight, such as courtesy, generosity, courage, good breeding, patience, and many others he mentioned; how he had learned to endure hardships of all kinds, and lately, enchantment. He concluded his lengthy speech by expressing a desire to soon become an emperor, for, he said, he wanted to do good for some of his loyal friends, especially his squire Sancho Panza.

Sancho heard his master's last words, and reminded him again of the island that he was to govern. On hearing this, the canon broke in with a few remarks about administration and government, and their difficulties, and Sancho interrupted the canon to say it would be very easy to find some one to do all that for him. In reply to this the canon came forward with a good many arguments phrased in philosophical language which the squire could make neither head nor tail of. So he took up the thread of his own mind, and replied: "I have as much soul as another, and as much body as any one, and I shall be as much king of my realm as any other of his; so let the country come, and God be with you, and let us see one another, as one blind man said to the other."

Sancho heard his master's last words and reminded him again about the island he was supposed to govern. The canon then jumped in with some comments about leadership and the challenges that come with it, and Sancho interrupted to say it would be easy to find someone to handle all that for him. In response, the canon presented several philosophical arguments that the squire couldn’t understand at all. So he went back to his own thoughts and replied, "I have as much soul as anyone else and as much body as anyone, and I’ll be just as much king of my realm as anyone else; so let the country come, and God be with you, and let’s see each other, like one blind man said to the other."

All the canon could do when he realized how badly both master and servant were in the clutch of their beliefs and superstitions, was to wonder at it. But by the time Sancho had finished his words, the repast was being served on the grass.

All the canon could do when he realized how trapped both the master and servant were in their beliefs and superstitions was to be amazed by it. But by the time Sancho finished speaking, the meal was being served on the grass.

As they were about to seat themselves, a goat came running from between the trees, pursued by a man whose clear voice could be heard distinctly from the distance. Soon [Pg 141] he came up, and he caught the goat by the horns and began to talk to her, calling her daughter, as if she had been a child. The goat seemed to understand everything, and the canon was so impressed with the scene that he asked the goatherd not to be in a hurry, but to sit down and eat with them.

As they were about to sit down, a goat came running out from between the trees, chased by a man whose clear voice carried distinctly from a distance. Soon [Pg 141] he caught up, grabbed the goat by the horns, and started talking to her, calling her daughter as if she were a child. The goat seemed to understand everything, and the canon was so struck by the scene that he asked the goatherd to take his time and join them for a meal.

The goatherd accepted the invitation; and when they had finished the repast, they had found that he was by no means a fool. When he asked them if they would like to hear a true story, they were all anxious to have him tell it to them. Only Sancho Panza withdrew, that he might get a chance to load himself brimful of food; for he had heard his master once say that a knight errant's squire should eat until he could hold no more. The goatherd began his story, after having told the goat to lie down beside him. She did so, and while the goatherd was telling the story of his unfortunate love for Leandra, a rich farmer's daughter, who had jilted both him and his rival Anselmo for the good looks of a braggard by the name of Vicente de la Roca, the goat was looking up into his face with an expression as it seemed of understanding and sympathy. [Pg 142]

The goatherd accepted the invitation, and once they finished their meal, they realized he was no fool at all. When he asked if they wanted to hear a true story, they all eagerly encouraged him to share it. Only Sancho Panza stepped away to fill himself with food; he had heard his master say that a knight's squire should eat until he can't eat anymore. The goatherd started his story after getting his goat to lie down next to him. As he recounted his unfortunate love for Leandra, the daughter of a wealthy farmer, who had dumped him and his rival Anselmo for a handsome show-off named Vicente de la Roca, the goat looked up at him with what seemed to be understanding and sympathy. [Pg 142]


CHAPTER LII

Of the Quarrel That Don Quixote Had with the Goatherd, Together with the Rare Adventure of the Penitents, Which with an Expenditure of Sweat He Brought to a Happy Conclusion

ALL had enjoyed the goatherd's story, and they thanked him for it. Don Quixote offered him the aid of his sword for the future, and said that if he had not been enchanted at this moment he would at once set out to free his Leandra. When the goatherd perceived Don Quixote's strange behavior and appearance and heard his remarkable language, he was struck with amazement, and asked the barber what madness was his, who talked like the knights he had read about in the books of knight-errantry. Scarcely had Don Quixote heard that he was being taken for a madman by the goatherd than he flew at him in a raging fit. The most fierce battle ensued, during which the faces of both men were scratched until they could hardly be recognized. They fought in the midst of the setting for the meal, and plates and glasses were smashed and upset. Both were urged on like dogs by the rest of the company, and soon blood began to flow. Finally Don Quixote stumbled, and the goatherd managed to get him on his back, while Sancho was held off by one of the canon's servants, moaning all the while because he could not go to his master's rescue.

Everyone had enjoyed the goatherd's story and thanked him for it. Don Quixote offered to help him with his sword in the future and said that if he weren't enchanted at that moment, he would immediately set out to rescue his Leandra. When the goatherd saw Don Quixote’s strange behavior and appearance and heard his remarkable words, he was astonished and asked the barber what kind of madness this was, as he spoke like the knights he had read about in books on chivalry. As soon as Don Quixote realized the goatherd thought he was a madman, he lunged at him in a fit of rage. A fierce fight broke out, during which both men’s faces were scratched to the point that they were hardly recognizable. They battled amidst the meal setting, smashing and overturning plates and glasses. The rest of the company egged them on like dogs, and soon blood began to flow. Ultimately, Don Quixote stumbled, and the goatherd managed to get him on his back, while Sancho was held back by one of the canon’s servants, moaning the whole time because he couldn't rush to his master's aid.

Just then a trumpet blew a solemn note, and all listened [Pg 143] in surprise. Don Quixote was all eagerness: there was no doubt in his mind but that he was being summoned by one in distress, so he asked for and received an hour's truce from the goatherd. As soon as he was on his feet, he ran to Rocinante, whom he bridled in great haste, and set off, armed with lance, buckler, sword and helmet, in the direction of the sound.

Just then, a trumpet sounded a serious note, and everyone listened in surprise. Don Quixote was filled with excitement; he was sure someone in trouble was calling for him, so he asked the goatherd for a one-hour truce and got it. As soon as he stood up, he rushed to Rocinante, quickly put on the bridle, and took off, armed with his lance, shield, sword, and helmet, towards the source of the sound.

What Don Quixote saw when he had ridden a short distance at his charger's usual comfortable canter was a procession of penitents, clad in white, some of whom were carrying an image, draped in black. The procession had been called for by the priests who desired to bring relief to the country, which had been suffering that year from a terrific heat and a lack of rain. They were now marching to a nearby hermitage, where they wanted to do penance, praying in silence to God that he might have pity on them.

What Don Quixote saw after riding a short distance at his horse's usual comfortable pace was a procession of penitents dressed in white, some of whom were carrying a statue covered in black. The priests had organized the procession to bring relief to the country, which had been experiencing a brutal heatwave and a drought that year. They were headed to a nearby hermitage, where they planned to do penance, praying silently to God for His mercy.

But what could such a procession have suggested to an imaginative mind like Don Quixote's but one of the many incidents that he had read of in his books of chivalry, where some great and worthy lady was being carried away by evil forces? To the knight the covered image easily became the worthy lady. Violently kicking Rocinante in the sides, for he had not had time to put on his spurs, he tried to increase his steed's canter to a gallop that he might attack in real knight errant fashion.

But what could such a procession have suggested to an imaginative mind like Don Quixote's other than one of the many events he'd read about in his chivalry books, where some noble lady was being taken away by evil forces? To the knight, the covered figure easily turned into the worthy lady. Kicking Rocinante hard in the sides, since he hadn't had time to put on his spurs, he tried to push his horse from a canter to a gallop so he could attack in true knight-errant style.

The faithful squire, the curate, the canon and the barber all did their best to stop the knight by their yells. Sancho was frantic, and cried after him: "Where are you going, Señor Don Quixote? What devils have possessed you [Pg 144] to set you against our Catholic faith? Plague take me! It is a procession of penitents!" And then he asked him, filled with horror and almost choking with tears, whether he knew what he was doing. Why, he was charging the blessed image of the immaculate and holy Virgin Mary! Sancho, seeing his master's lifted lance, could not know that his master wanted to release her.

The loyal squire, the priest, the canon, and the barber all tried their hardest to stop the knight with their shouts. Sancho was in a panic and called out to him: "Where are you going, Señor Don Quixote? What demons have taken hold of you to turn you against our Catholic faith? Damn it! This is a procession of penitents!" Then he asked him, filled with dread and nearly choking on his tears, if he even knew what he was doing. He was charging at the holy image of the immaculate and sacred Virgin Mary! Sancho, seeing his master's raised lance, couldn’t understand that his master intended to free her.

When Don Quixote had reached the penitents, he abruptly halted his horse and demanded in no uncertain, though flowery, language that the fair lady—whom, he said, he could plainly see they were carrying away against her will—be released at once.

When Don Quixote reached the penitents, he suddenly stopped his horse and firmly demanded, in a dramatic way, that the beautiful lady—who he insisted he could clearly see they were taking away against her will—be set free immediately.

One of four priests, who had just begun to chant the Litany, stopped on a high note and answered the knight that he must not hold up the singing or the procession, for the marchers were doing penitence by whipping themselves and could not stop once they had commenced the ceremony. Again Don Quixote put forth his demand, this time in language that seemed much more ludicrous to the penitents so that some of them could not resist bursting into laughter. This sign of disrespect was too much for our errant, who started his attack but was prevented from finishing it by the blow of a stick carried by one of the penitents. With one thwack of it he was felled to the ground.

One of the four priests, who had just started chanting the Litany, paused on a high note and told the knight that he couldn’t interrupt the singing or the procession, because the marchers were doing penance by whipping themselves and couldn’t stop once they had started the ceremony. Don Quixote insisted again, this time using words that seemed even more ridiculous to the penitents, causing some of them to burst into laughter. This disrespect was too much for our errant knight, who began to retaliate but was stopped when one of the penitents hit him with a stick. With one smack, he was knocked to the ground.

Sancho had now come up, and when he saw his master stretched out, with no sign of life, his eyes filled with tears, and he thrust himself over his master's body, crying and wailing like a little child. It was pitiful to see the sorrow and the devotion of the poor, simple-minded fellow, bewailing his master's fall from the blow of a mere stick. [Pg 145] And he ended his tribute by thanking him for the great generosity he had always shown; for Don Quixote, for but eight months of service, had given him the best island that was afloat in the sea.

Sancho had just arrived, and when he saw his master lying there, completely lifeless, tears filled his eyes. He threw himself over his master's body, crying and wailing like a little child. It was heartbreaking to witness the sorrow and devotion of the poor, simple guy lamenting his master's downfall from a mere stick's blow. [Pg 145] He concluded his tribute by thanking him for the incredible kindness he had always shown; for Don Quixote, after just eight months of service, had given him the best island that existed in the sea.

Sancho was suddenly called from his grief by the weak voice of the knight, who implored his squire to mount him on the ox-cart, as his shoulder was in a dilapidated condition. Then he commended himself to his Lady Dulcinea, while Sancho recommended that they return with their friends to their village, where they could prepare for another sally at a more favorable time. The knight seemed inclined to take his squire's advice, for he remarked that it was not a bad idea: that in the meantime the prevailing evil influence of the stars might disappear.

Sancho was suddenly pulled from his sorrow by the weak voice of the knight, who asked his squire to help him onto the ox-cart since his shoulder was in rough shape. Then he expressed his admiration for his Lady Dulcinea, while Sancho suggested they head back to their village with their friends to get ready for another adventure at a better time. The knight appeared to agree with his squire's suggestion, noting that it wasn’t a bad idea: in the meantime, the bad luck caused by the stars might fade away.

By this time the curate, the canon and the officers of the Brotherhood had arrived at the spot, and the curate found that he knew one of the priests in the procession. This simplified matters considerably, for he found it easy to explain to his friend the malady and peculiarities of Don Quixote, which had been the cause of so much disturbance in so short a time. After the curate had taken leave of the canon, the goatherd and those in the procession, he paid off the officers, who considered it unwise to accompany the party any further. The canon begged the curate to keep him informed of any change in Don Quixote's behavior, as he was most interested in his case. Then Don Quixote was heaved into the cart where a stack of hay served as a softer resting-place this time; and after six days of travel, the oxen and the cart and the whole procession entered the La Mancha village. When they passed the square, it [Pg 146] being Sunday, the people crowded around them, and all were amazed at what they saw.

By this time, the curate, the canon, and the Brotherhood officers had arrived at the scene, and the curate recognized one of the priests in the procession. This made things much simpler, as he was able to easily explain to his friend the condition and quirks of Don Quixote, which had caused so much disruption in such a short time. After the curate said goodbye to the canon, the goatherd, and those in the procession, he settled up with the officers, who thought it was unwise to go any further with the group. The canon asked the curate to keep him updated on any changes in Don Quixote's behavior, as he was very interested in his case. Then Don Quixote was lifted into the cart, where a pile of hay provided a softer resting spot this time; and after six days of travel, the oxen, the cart, and the whole procession entered the village of La Mancha. When they passed through the square, [Pg 146] it being Sunday, a crowd gathered around them, and everyone was amazed at what they saw.

Soon Don Quixote's niece and his housekeeper got word of his homecoming. When they saw him, and observed his pallor and leanness, they began to weep and beat their breasts, and curse all books of chivalry.

Soon Don Quixote's niece and his housekeeper heard about his return home. When they saw him and noticed his pale skin and thinness, they started crying and beating their chests, cursing all books of chivalry.

Then Sancho Panza's wife learned the news, and as soon as she saw her husband the first thing she asked him was whether the donkey was well. To this greeting he replied that the donkey was better than he himself. And then she pestered him with questions as to what he had brought back with him for her and the children; to which he impatiently remarked that she would have to wait until he got his island or empire, when she would be called Her Ladyship. Of course, it was not to be expected that Teresa Panza should understand this; and she did not. Sancho attempted to give her an insight into the intricacies of knight-errantry by telling her of some of his remarkable experiences, such as the blanketing, which stood out in his mind's eye as the culmination of suffering in his career as a squire.

Then Sancho Panza's wife heard the news, and as soon as she saw her husband, the first thing she asked him was if the donkey was okay. He replied that the donkey was doing better than he was. Then she bombarded him with questions about what he had brought back for her and the kids; to which he impatiently responded that she would have to wait until he got his island or empire, at which point she would be called Her Ladyship. Of course, it was unreasonable to expect Teresa Panza to understand this; and she didn’t. Sancho tried to give her a glimpse into the complexities of knight-errantry by sharing some of his amazing experiences, like the blanketing, which stood out in his mind as the peak of his suffering as a squire.

While this was going on in the Panza household, Don Quixote had been undressed and put to bed by his niece and the housekeeper. The curate had told them what troubles and tribulations he had been forced to undergo in order to restore him to his community and his loved ones. So they decided, with fear in their hearts, to be ever watchful, lest he escape and depart on another rampage. And again and again they would curse the books that they had burned too late. [Pg 147]

While all of this was happening at the Panza house, Don Quixote had been undressed and tucked into bed by his niece and the housekeeper. The curate had shared the difficulties and challenges he faced to bring him back to his community and loved ones. So, with fear in their hearts, they decided to stay alert, worried he might escape and go on another adventure. Again and again, they cursed the books they had burned too late. [Pg 147]


VOLUME II


CHAPTER I

Of the Interview the Curate and the Barber Had with Don Quixote About His Malady

DON QUIXOTE had been at home almost a month. During that time neither the curate nor the barber had been to see him for fear that the sight of them would remind him of his days of knight-errantry and make him long for another campaign. They did visit the niece and housekeeper, however, and advised them from time to time what to do; and at last the women began to think that there was hope for our knight's being restored to his right mind, for his conversation never touched upon deeds of chivalry, and when he spoke on other subjects he always talked most sanely.

DON QUIXOTE had been home for almost a month. During that time, neither the curate nor the barber had come to see him, worried that their presence might remind him of his days as a knight-errant and spark a desire for another adventure. However, they did visit his niece and housekeeper periodically to give them advice, and eventually, the women started to believe there was hope for our knight's recovery. His conversations never mentioned chivalry, and when he discussed other topics, he always spoke quite sensibly.

Finally the curate and the barber decided to pay their friend a visit, firmly resolved not to let the subject of conversation turn to knight-errantry. They found him in bed, with a red Toledo cap on his head. His face had changed greatly; it was so withered and yellow that it resembled parchment rather than human flesh. He greeted them cordially, however, and soon they engaged in an animated conversation, which finally turned to such an intricate subject as government. So unusually sane and clear was Don Quixote's reasoning that his friends were amazed at the change that had taken place, and they felt quite certain [Pg 148] that he was cured. Then they began to discuss the news from the capital, and the curate mentioned that the Turk was expected to attack. Nobody knew when, he said, but in order to safeguard the island of Malta and the coasts of Naples and Sicily, His Majesty had already made provisions for the defense of these provinces.

Finally, the curate and the barber decided to visit their friend, determined not to let the conversation drift to knight-errantry. They found him in bed, wearing a red Toledo cap. His face had changed a lot; it was so withered and yellow it looked more like parchment than human skin. He welcomed them warmly, and soon they were engaged in a lively conversation, which eventually shifted to the complex topic of government. Don Quixote's reasoning was so unusually rational and clear that his friends were amazed at the transformation and felt quite sure that he was cured. Then they started discussing the news from the capital, and the curate mentioned that the Turk was expected to attack. Nobody knew when, he said, but to protect the island of Malta and the coasts of Naples and Sicily, His Majesty had already made preparations for the defense of these areas.

Here Don Quixote interrupted and said that His Majesty could easily settle the whole thing if he would only follow his advice. Both the curate and the barber began to wonder and worry about what his plan might be, but before divulging it Don Quixote insisted upon absolute secrecy, which of course they promised. And then he began in the old, familiar strain, citing the examples of the innumerable heroes of his condemned books of chivalry, heroes who, single-handed, had conquered armies of millions. He finished with a tirade about God's providing such a knight errant to-day to save the nation and Christianity against the onslaught of the heathen Turk, with an inference in his last words that he was to be the chosen savior.

Here, Don Quixote interrupted and said that His Majesty could easily resolve the whole situation if he would just follow his advice. Both the curate and the barber began to wonder and worry about what his plan could be, but before revealing it, Don Quixote insisted on complete secrecy, which they of course promised. Then he started with the same familiar tone, citing examples of the countless heroes from his beloved books of chivalry, heroes who had single-handedly defeated entire armies. He concluded with a passionate speech about how God has provided such a knight-errant today to save the nation and Christianity from the attacks of the heathen Turk, implying in his last words that he was meant to be the chosen savior.

When the two women heard Don Quixote again rave in this manner, they burst into tears, and the curate and the barber were as sorry and concerned as the women. The curate turned in bewilderment to his poor friend and asked him whether he truly believed that the heroes of these tales of chivalry were men of flesh and blood. He himself, he said, was convinced that these stories were nothing but fables and falsehoods, and that none of the personages in them ever lived. Whereupon Don Quixote began to ridicule the curate, and went on to describe his heroes, saying [Pg 149] that his faith was so strong that he could almost swear he had seen Amadis of Gaul and some of the others he worshiped. Then he embarked on a description of these knights, giving the color of their eyes, of their beards and hair, their height, complexion, all according to his own crazy imagination. Much of what he said seemed so amusing to his two friends that they nearly went into hysterics from laughter. His mind's image of Roland was particularly laughable, for he saw him as a bow-legged, swarthy-complexioned gentleman with a hairy body, courteous and well-bred.

When the two women heard Don Quixote raving like this again, they burst into tears, and the curate and the barber felt just as sorry and concerned as the women. The curate turned in confusion to his poor friend and asked him if he really believed that the heroes of these chivalric tales were actual people. He himself was convinced that these stories were nothing but fables and lies, and that none of the characters in them ever existed. At this, Don Quixote started to mock the curate and went on to describe his heroes, saying [Pg 149] that his faith was so strong he could almost swear he had seen Amadis of Gaul and some of the others he admired. Then he began to describe these knights, detailing the color of their eyes, their beards and hair, their height, and complexion, all based on his own wild imagination. Much of what he said was so funny to his two friends that they nearly burst out laughing. His mental image of Roland was especially ridiculous, as he imagined him as a bow-legged, dark-skinned gentleman with a hairy body, polite and well-mannered.

On hearing Roland so pictured, the curate remarked it was no wonder that he was jilted by the fair lady Angelica. To this Don Quixote retorted that lady Angelica was a giddy and frivolous damsel with desires that smacked of wantonness. He only regretted that Roland had not been a poet that he might have libeled her in poetry for all eternity.

On hearing Roland described like that, the curate said it was no surprise that he was dumped by the beautiful Angelica. Don Quixote responded that Angelica was a shallow and flighty girl with desires that were downright scandalous. He only wished that Roland had been a poet so he could have slandered her in verse for all time.

Here the knight was interrupted by the sound of loud talking in the courtyard, intermingled with screams, and when he and the curate came running they saw the two women struggling to keep a man from entering the house. [Pg 150]

Here the knight was interrupted by the sound of loud talking in the courtyard, mixed with screams, and when he and the curate ran over, they saw the two women trying to stop a man from entering the house. [Pg 150]


CHAPTER II

Which Treats of the Notable Altercation Which Sancho Panza Had with Don Quixote's Niece and His Housekeeper, Together with Other Droll Matters

THE man turned out to be no other than Sancho, who wanted to see his master. But the housekeeper and the niece were bent on not admitting him, for they considered Sancho the arch enticer and felt that he was to blame for Don Quixote's expeditions into the country. When Sancho heard himself thus accused, he defended himself with accusations against Don Quixote, who, he said, had been the one to hypnotize him; and then he added that he had come to find out about his island.

THE man turned out to be none other than Sancho, who wanted to see his master. But the housekeeper and the niece were determined not to let him in, as they saw Sancho as the main instigator and believed he was responsible for Don Quixote's adventures in the countryside. When Sancho heard these accusations, he defended himself by accusing Don Quixote, claiming he was the one who had enchanted him; and then he added that he had come to find out about his island.

As soon as Don Quixote recognized his squire, he quickly took him inside, being afraid that he would tell the women all the little details of the knight's adventures, such as the galley-slave episode and others not tending to reflect honor on his shield. Whereupon the barber and the curate left, both of them in despair of their friend's ever being cured. The curate remarked that it would not surprise him to learn before many moons that Don Quixote and Sancho had set off again on another sally. They were curious to know what the master and the servant might be discussing at that very moment. However, the curate was of the firm belief that they could rely upon the two women to keep their ears to the door. They would learn from [Pg 151] them what had been the topic, and what had been said.

As soon as Don Quixote recognized his squire, he quickly brought him inside, worried that he would spill all the details of the knight's adventures to the women, like the galley-slave incident and other things that wouldn’t reflect well on his honor. Then, the barber and the curate left, both feeling hopeless about their friend ever getting better. The curate said it wouldn’t surprise him if, in a few months, Don Quixote and Sancho set off on another quest. They were curious about what the master and servant might be talking about at that moment. However, the curate firmly believed they could count on the two women to eavesdrop. They would find out from [Pg 151] them what had been said and discussed.

When Don Quixote was alone with his squire, he expressed dismay over his having told the housekeeper the knight had taken him from house and home, when he knew perfectly well that he had gone of his own free will. They had shared everything, he said; everything except blows, where he had had a distinct advantage over his squire, having taken ninety-nine out of a hundred beatings. This dividing of fortune, Sancho thought, was quite as it should be, for of course knights errant ought to share the greater benefits of the battle. Here Don Quixote interrupted with a Latin quotation, which had an evil effect on Sancho, for it made him retaliate with the blanket episode which to him still seemed the height of all his suffering in the world. But this attempt to belittle the fairness of his master's division of honors in battle was speedily parried by Don Quixote, who maintained that his squire's bodily suffering in the blanket was as nothing compared with the painful agony of his own heart and soul when he had seen his squire in such a predicament. And then he proceeded to question Sancho as to public opinion of his deeds and valor.

When Don Quixote was alone with his squire, he expressed his frustration over having told the housekeeper that the knight had taken him away from his home, even though he knew he had left of his own accord. He said they had shared everything, except for blows, where he had clearly had the upper hand, having received ninety-nine out of a hundred beatings. Sancho thought this distribution of fortune was fair, since knights-errant should certainly enjoy the greater rewards of battle. At this point, Don Quixote interrupted with a Latin quote, which negatively affected Sancho, causing him to bring up the blanket incident that still seemed to him the peak of his suffering in the world. However, Don Quixote quickly countered this attempt to diminish the fairness of his distribution of honors in battle, arguing that his squire's physical suffering from the blanket was nothing compared to the painful agony he felt in his heart and soul when he saw his squire in such a situation. Then he went on to ask Sancho about what people thought of his deeds and bravery.

Sancho was inclined to be reticent; but urged by Don Quixote—and having been forgiven in advance for any vexation he might cause him by telling the truth—he told of the variety of opinions that existed in the village. This his master thought only natural; for when had the world ever given full recognition to a genius or a great hero until after he was dead? He pointed to all the great [Pg 152] names he could recollect in history that had been persecuted.

Sancho was naturally reserved, but encouraged by Don Quixote—and given a free pass for any annoyance he might cause by speaking the truth—he shared the different opinions that were floating around in the village. His master considered this completely normal; after all, when has the world ever truly acknowledged a genius or a great hero while they were still alive? He referenced all the famous names from history that had faced persecution.

But Sancho had not come to the worst; and at last he found sufficient courage to tell his master of a book entitled "The Ingenious Gentleman, Don Quixote of La Mancha," which had already, he said, been spread abroad. In this book not only Don Quixote, but he himself—under his own name!—and the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso figured; and he was so stupefied that he had to cross himself, for he could not imagine how everything that had been told in the book—the most intimate happenings between Don Quixote and himself—had come to be known to the author. Don Quixote thought it was very plain that the adventures must have been reported by some sage and enchanter; but Sancho told him that the author was one Cid Hamet Berengena (meaning eggplant). It was no other than the son of Bartholomew Carrasco, who had been a student at Salamanca, who had told him all this, he said. He asked his master whether he should like to see the young bachelor, and Don Quixote begged him to run and fetch him at once, for, he said, he would be unable to digest a thing until he had had a talk with him.

But Sancho hadn't hit rock bottom yet; finally, he found the courage to tell his master about a book called "The Ingenious Gentleman, Don Quixote of La Mancha," which he said was already circulating. In this book, not only Don Quixote but also he—by his own name!—and Lady Dulcinea del Toboso appeared; he was so stunned that he crossed himself, as he couldn't fathom how all the personal things between Don Quixote and himself were known to the author. Don Quixote believed it was obvious that a sage or enchanter must have reported the adventures; but Sancho informed him that the author was a man named Cid Hamet Berengena (meaning eggplant). It was none other than Bartholomew Carrasco's son, who had studied at Salamanca, that told him all this. He asked his master if he wanted to meet the young bachelor, and Don Quixote eagerly asked him to hurry and get him, saying he couldn't focus on anything until he talked to him.

"Cid Hamet Berengena," repeated Don Quixote to himself. "That is a Moorish name."

"Cid Hamet Berengena," Don Quixote repeated to himself. "That’s a Moorish name."

"Yes, I have heard the Moors like eggplant," added Sancho.

"Yeah, I've heard the Moors like eggplant," added Sancho.

And then his lord and master asked: "Didst thou not mistake the surname of this 'Cid,' which means in Arabic 'lord,' Sancho?" [Pg 153]

And then his lord and master asked, "Did you not confuse the surname of this 'Cid,' which means 'lord' in Arabic, Sancho?" [Pg 153]

"Perhaps," said Sancho; "but the bachelor can tell you that."

"Maybe," said Sancho; "but the bachelor can explain that to you."

And he ran to fetch him.

And he ran to get him.


CHAPTER III

Of the Laughable Conversation That Passed Between Don Quixote, Sancho Panza, and the Bachelor Samson Carrasco

WHILE Sancho was gone, Don Quixote sat and worried about what the book might be like; for what justice could be expected from the pen of a Moor writing history? But perhaps it was not true that such a chronicle had been written. It seemed almost an impossibility, for it was only a short time since he returned from his achievements. What worried him most was the thought that this Cid Hamet Berengena might have made public in some odious way that great love and sacred passion of his for the beautiful and virtuous Lady Dulcinea del Toboso.

WHILE Sancho was away, Don Quixote sat there, anxious about what the book could be like; what kind of justice could come from a Moor writing history? But maybe it wasn't true that such a chronicle had actually been written. It seemed almost impossible, considering it was only a short time since he returned from his adventures. What troubled him the most was the idea that this Cid Hamet Berengena might have revealed in some shameful way his deep love and sacred passion for the beautiful and virtuous Lady Dulcinea del Toboso.

As he was thus meditating Sancho returned, bringing with him the younger Carrasco, who went by the strong name of Samson, in defiance of his unpretentious size. But what he lacked in this respect, he made up for in wit and humor. He was about twenty-four years of age, had a round jovial face, a large mouth and a flat nose. What more need one know to be inclined to think he might be mischievous? He gave proof of it as soon as he entered, [Pg 154] for he fell on his knees and kissed the hero's hand respectfully, pronouncing him the first and foremost warrior and knight of the age. Then he called down a blessing on the name of Cid Hamet Benengeli, his noble biographer, and on the worthy, learned man who had translated the work from the difficult Arabic into their pure Castilian for the edification of all the Spanish people who knew how to read their own language.

As he was thinking, Sancho came back with the younger Carrasco, who went by the strong name of Samson, despite his modest size. But what he lacked in size, he made up for with his wit and humor. He was about twenty-four years old, had a round, cheerful face, a big mouth, and a flat nose. What more do you need to think he might be a bit mischievous? He proved it as soon as he entered, [Pg 154] because he fell to his knees and kissed the hero's hand respectfully, calling him the greatest warrior and knight of the time. Then he praised Cid Hamet Benengeli, his noble biographer, and the knowledgeable scholar who translated the work from the challenging Arabic into their pure Castilian for the benefit of all Spanish speakers who knew how to read their own language.

"So then there is a history of me—and written by a Moor and a sage?" asked Don Quixote, as he bade Samson rise.

"So there's actually a history about me—and it's written by a Moor and a wise man?" asked Don Quixote, as he instructed Samson to get up.

The bachelor assented and went on to tell how the world was clamoring for this remarkable chronicle of heroism and sacrifices. Don Quixote remarked here what a great source of joy and inspiration it should prove to a man with achievements to his credit to see himself in print before being dead. The bachelor's opinion on the subject coincided with his own; and Samson took the opportunity to pay homage to the marvelous courage, intrepidity, gallantry, gentleness and patience of Don Quixote, as the author had described it in the book. He also spoke feelingly of the beautiful, platonic courtship of our knight errant; and the mention of this caused Don Quixote to ask which of his many acts of chivalry were most appealing to the reader. The bachelor replied that that depended greatly upon the reader's taste: some liked the adventure of the windmills that were enchanted giants; others preferred reading about the two armies that suddenly turned into droves of sheep; then again there were those who seemed to think the victorious assault on the Biscayan made a thrilling chapter; while many would swear they had never [Pg 155] read anything that excited them quite as much as the account of the liberation of the galley slaves.

The bachelor agreed and went on to explain how the world was eager for this amazing story of bravery and sacrifices. Don Quixote noted how joyful and inspiring it must be for a man with accomplishments to see himself in print while still alive. The bachelor's views matched his own; and Samson took the chance to honor the incredible courage, fearlessness, gallantry, kindness, and patience of Don Quixote, as the author described in the book. He also spoke passionately about the beautiful, platonic courtship of our knight-errant; and this mention prompted Don Quixote to ask which of his many acts of chivalry were most appealing to the reader. The bachelor replied that it largely depended on the reader’s preferences: some enjoyed the adventure of the windmills that were enchanted giants; others liked the tale of the two armies that suddenly turned into flocks of sheep; then there were those who thought the victorious attack on the Biscayan made for an exciting chapter; while many would insist they had never read anything as thrilling as the account of the liberation of the galley slaves.

Sancho interrupted him here, asking what was said of their experience with the Yanguesans, when the good Rocinante went looking for adventure and was bitten by the ponies. Samson replied that the sage had forgotten nothing; not even the capers that Sancho himself had cut in the blanket. Whereupon Sancho said: "I cut no capers in the blanket. In the air I did, and more of them than I liked!" But Don Quixote interposed here, saying that history must of necessity be more than one-sided. It must take into its pages adversities as well as good fortune.

Sancho interrupted him, asking what had been said about their experience with the Yanguesans when good old Rocinante went off looking for adventure and got bitten by the ponies. Samson replied that the sage remembered everything; even the pranks that Sancho himself had pulled under the blanket. Sancho then said, "I didn't pull any pranks under the blanket. I did it in the air, and more of them than I would have liked!" But Don Quixote stepped in, saying that history must be well-rounded. It should include both hardships and good times.

Some people, the bachelor held forth, had expressed a desire that the author might have eliminated some of the cruel thrashings he had given the hero; but Sancho differed with these people and supported the author unqualifiedly, saying, with a glance at Don Quixote, "That is where the truth of the history comes in!"

Some people, the bachelor said, had wished that the author had cut out some of the brutal beatings he gave the hero; but Sancho disagreed with them and fully supported the author, saying, with a look at Don Quixote, "That's where the truth of the story lies!"

Of course Don Quixote saw it in a different light, for he thought that the thrashings tended to bring the hero of the book into contempt. The author should have passed them over in silence, he said. Sancho muttered something to himself, and Don Quixote admonished him to be quiet so that the bachelor might tell him more of what was said of him in the book.

Of course, Don Quixote saw it differently because he believed that the beatings made the hero of the story look bad. He thought the author should have skipped over them completely. Sancho mumbled something under his breath, and Don Quixote told him to be quiet so that the bachelor could share more about what was said about him in the book.

"And about me!" broke in Sancho, "for they say that I am one of the principal presonages in it."

"And about me!" interrupted Sancho, "because they say I'm one of the main characters in it."

"Personages," corrected Samson, adding that Sancho was the second person in the chronicle, although many thought [Pg 156] he was even first. He also remarked that the author had been criticized for having inserted a story called "Ill-Advised Curiosity," which had nothing to do with Don Quixote whatever. This Don Quixote thought was an infringement on the hero's rights, and corroborated the justification of the criticism.

"Characters," corrected Samson, adding that Sancho was the second character in the story, even though many believed he was actually first. He also mentioned that the author had faced criticism for including a story called "Ill-Advised Curiosity," which had nothing to do with Don Quixote at all. Don Quixote felt this was a violation of the hero's rights and supported the reasoning behind the criticism.

Thus Don Quixote learned from the bachelor all about his own deeds and exploits, as they had been given to the world by the great Moorish sage Cid Hamet Benengeli. And when he had asked about himself again and again, and had been satisfied by the replies of Samson, he found it was nearly dinner time. Sancho took a hurried leave, fearing the wrath of his wife if he were late for his meal, and Don Quixote asked the bachelor to stay and keep him company.

Thus, Don Quixote learned from the bachelor all about his own deeds and adventures, as they had been shared with the world by the great Moorish scholar Cid Hamet Benengeli. After asking about himself repeatedly and feeling satisfied with Samson's answers, he realized it was almost dinner time. Sancho quickly said goodbye, worried about his wife's anger if he was late for his meal, and Don Quixote asked the bachelor to stay and keep him company.

All the while they were eating, Don Quixote entertained his guest with tales of chivalry. When they finished their repast, they took a nap, and when they awoke, Sancho was there waiting for them to return to their conversation concerning the famous chronicle.

All the while they were eating, Don Quixote entertained his guest with stories of chivalry. When they finished their meal, they took a nap, and when they woke up, Sancho was there waiting for them to get back to their conversation about the famous chronicle.


CHAPTER IV

In Which Sancho Panza gives a Satisfactory Reply to the Doubts and Questions of the Bachelor Samson Carrasco Together with Other Matters Worth Knowing And Mentioning

SAMSON was anxious to learn what Sancho had done with the hundred crowns he had found in the knapsack. Sancho replied that he had spent them for the benefit [Pg 157] of himself, his wife and children; adding that, had he come back to his wife without riches of any sort, he would have had a doubtful reward waiting for him. Now, he said, if anybody wanted to know anything about him, he was ready to answer the King himself.

SAMSON was eager to find out what Sancho had done with the hundred crowns he discovered in the knapsack. Sancho explained that he had used them for the benefit of himself, his wife, and children; adding that, if he had returned to his wife without any riches, he would have faced a questionable welcome. Now, he said, if anyone wanted to learn anything about him, he was ready to answer the King himself.

"It is no one's business," said he, "whether I took the money, or did not; whether I spent it or did not spend it, for if every beating I have received in my master's service were to be valued at no more than four maravedis, another hundred crowns would not pay me for half of them. Let each look to himself and not try to make out white, black; and black, white; for each of us is as God made us—aye, and often worse."

"It’s nobody’s business," he said, "whether I took the money or not; whether I spent it or didn’t spend it. If every beating I’ve gotten in my master’s service were worth no more than four maravedis, another hundred crowns wouldn’t even cover half of them. Let each person take care of themselves and not try to twist the truth; we’re all just as God made us—maybe even worse.”

Don Quixote was curious to know whether there was to be a second part to the book; and Samson replied that the author was diligently looking for one, but had as yet found none; so it remained only a possibility. Yet, inspired by the profits he had made out of the first book, he was anxious to find a second part, he said.

Don Quixote was eager to find out if there would be a second part to the book, and Samson responded that the author was actively searching for one but hadn't found anything yet, so it was still just a possibility. However, encouraged by the profits from the first book, he was keen to locate a second part, he said.

"The author looks for money and profit, does he?" asked Sancho. "Well, let Master Moor, or whoever he is, pay attention to what he is doing, and I and my master will give him adventures and accidents of all sorts, enough to make up not only a second part but a hundred. The good man fancies, no doubt, we are asleep in the straw here, but let him hold up our feet to be shod and he will see which foot it is we go lame on. All I say is, that if my master would take my advice, we would now be afield, redressing outrages and righting wrongs, as is the use and custom of good knights errant." [Pg 158]

"The author is after money and profit, right?" asked Sancho. "Well, let the Master Moor, or whoever he is, focus on what he’s doing, and my master and I will provide him with adventures and all kinds of mishaps, enough to create not just a second part but a hundred of them. That good man probably thinks we’re just lying around here, but if he lifts our feet to get them shod, he’ll realize which foot we’re limping on. All I’m saying is, if my master would just listen to me, we’d be out there right now, fixing wrongs and correcting injustices, as good knights-errant are supposed to do." [Pg 158]

Scarcely had Sancho spoken these words, when Rocinante commenced to neigh; and how could this be interpreted to be anything else than a good omen? In an instant Don Quixote had resolved to sally forth again in a few days. The bachelor warned him this time to expose himself to no such tremendous risks as on his previous sallies, and begged him to remember always, his life was no longer his own, but was dedicated to those in need and in despair.

Scarcely had Sancho spoken these words when Rocinante started to neigh; and how could this be seen as anything other than a good sign? In an instant, Don Quixote decided to go out again in a few days. The bachelor cautioned him this time to avoid the same dangerous risks he faced on his previous outings and reminded him that his life was no longer his own, but was dedicated to those in need and despair.

"There is what I abominate, Señor Samson," Sancho sustained him. "My master will attack a hundred men as a greedy boy would half a dozen melons. Body of the world, Señor bachelor, there is a time to attack and a time to retreat!"

"There is what I can't stand, Señor Samson," Sancho replied. "My master will take on a hundred men like a hungry kid would take on half a dozen melons. For crying out loud, Señor bachelor, there’s a time to attack and a time to back off!"

And here it was that Sancho felt it a solemn duty to himself and his wife and offspring to come to a definite understanding with his master regarding his position in battle. He wanted it stipulated that his master was to do all the fighting. He would willingly look after his master's and Rocinante's comfort, and keep them clean, but when it came to drawing sword, he would leave that honor to Don Quixote, he declared. He would do his duty so well that it would be worth a kingdom as well as an island, both of which he would gladly accept.

And this was the moment when Sancho felt it was his serious responsibility to himself, his wife, and his kids to have a clear conversation with his master about his role in battle. He wanted it made clear that his master would handle all the fighting. He was happy to take care of his master and Rocinante, ensuring they were comfortable and clean, but when it came to swinging a sword, he would leave that honor to Don Quixote, he stated. He would fulfill his duties so well that it would be worth not just a kingdom, but also an island, both of which he would gladly accept.

The bachelor, having recommended Saragossa and the kingdom of Aragon as hotbeds of adventure, Don Quixote thanked him and asked him whether he was a poet; to which the bachelor replied that he was not one of the famous ones. Don Quixote explained that he wanted a most original idea of his carried out in poetry. Could Samson write a [Pg 159] poem of love in such a manner as to have the first letters of each line, reading downward, form the name of his beloved one, the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso? Samson promised he would try, but Don Quixote replied: "It must be done by some means or other, for unless the name stands there plain and manifest, no woman would believe the verses were made for her." And so the bachelor promised to do it, and to have them ready before the day of the departure, which would be on the third day.

The bachelor, having suggested that Saragossa and the kingdom of Aragon were great places for adventure, Don Quixote thanked him and asked if he was a poet; the bachelor replied that he wasn't one of the famous ones. Don Quixote explained that he wanted an original idea of his written in poetry. Could Samson write a [Pg 159] love poem in such a way that the first letters of each line, when read downward, spelled out the name of his beloved, the incomparable Dulcinea del Toboso? Samson promised he would give it a shot, but Don Quixote insisted, "It has to be done, because if the name isn’t obvious, no woman will believe the verses were meant for her." So the bachelor committed to doing it and promised to have it ready before their departure, which would be in three days.

Don Quixote extracted a promise from Samson to keep his intentions a secret; and he and Sancho took leave of him, Don Quixote promising he would not fail to send him word of his conquests. Sancho in the meantime went home and began preparations for their second quest of adventure.

Don Quixote got Samson to promise to keep his plans a secret; then he and Sancho said goodbye to him, with Don Quixote assuring he would keep him updated on his victories. Meanwhile, Sancho went home and started getting ready for their next adventure.


CHAPTER V

Of the Shrewd and Droll Conversation That Passed Between Sancho Panza and His Wife, Teresa Panza, and Other Matters Worthy of Being Duly Recorded

WHEN Sancho came home that evening, his wife noticed at once by his mood that something out of the ordinary had happened to him. After much persuasion, he finally told her that he had made up his mind to go out in the world again with his master, looking for strange adventures, during which, he said, he hoped to [Pg 160] come across another hundred crowns that he would bring home to her. Then Sancho proceeded to tell his wife of his great plans for the future, when he became ruler of his island. Their daughter, Maria, he was going to marry off to some great count; his wife would be Doña Teresa Panza, and he pictured her already, dressed according to richest fashion, sitting in her pew in church, surrounded by cushions and pillows, and walking on a red plush carpet. And as to his son, he should, of course, as was the custom, follow his father's trade; so what was he to do but be a ruler?

WHEN Sancho came home that evening, his wife immediately noticed by his mood that something unusual had happened to him. After a lot of convincing, he finally told her that he had decided to set off into the world again with his master, looking for wild adventures, during which, he said, he hoped to [Pg 160] find another hundred crowns to bring back to her. Then Sancho went on to share his grand plans for the future, when he would be the ruler of his island. He was going to marry their daughter, Maria, off to some noble count; his wife would be Doña Teresa Panza, and he already imagined her dressed in the finest fashion, sitting in her church pew surrounded by cushions and pillows, and walking on a red velvet carpet. As for his son, he would, of course, follow in his father's footsteps; so what else could he do but be a ruler?

But everything that her illustrious husband proposed, Teresa Panza only sneered at; and this angered Sancho, who thought she might be more appreciative. Certainly not every husband in their village offered to do as much for his wife and family. And so they began to quarrel with each other, Sancho using—as he invariably did with his master—all the proverbs he had ever heard, to defeat the arguments his wife put forward, enforced in the same manner. But when her good Sancho finally lost his patience with her entirely, she gave in and promised to go so far as to send their young son to him—that his father might train him in the business of government—as soon as Sancho, as the governor of the island, should send his wife the necessary money. Sancho charged her particularly with the task of seeing that the son on his departure should be dressed as a prince of the blood.

But everything her famous husband suggested, Teresa Panza just scoffed at; and this frustrated Sancho, who thought she could be more appreciative. After all, not every husband in their village did as much for his wife and family. So they started to argue, with Sancho using—all the sayings he had ever heard, just like he always did with his master, to counter his wife's arguments, which she also backed up in the same way. But when her good Sancho finally lost all his patience with her, she gave in and promised to go as far as sending their young son to him so his father could teach him about governing—once Sancho, as the governor of the island, sent his wife the necessary money. Sancho specifically asked her to make sure their son was dressed like a royal prince when he left.

And all the while poor Teresa Panza was receiving her husband's instructions as to herself and her two children, she was bemoaning and struggling against their fate in her [Pg 161] heart; and at last she burst into bitter tears. Seeing her in such agony because he had predestined that their daughter Maria was to marry a mighty count instead of a poor peasant boy, Sancho tried to soothe her feelings by telling her that he would try to put off the day of the wedding as long as possible; and this promise seemed to cheer Teresa Panza to some extent, for she dried her tears.

And all the while, poor Teresa Panza was listening to her husband’s advice about herself and their two children, she was lamenting and fighting against their fate in her [Pg 161] heart; and finally, she broke down in tears. Seeing her in such pain because he had decided that their daughter Maria was to marry a powerful count instead of a poor peasant boy, Sancho tried to comfort her by saying that he would do his best to postpone the wedding for as long as he could; and this promise seemed to lift Teresa Panza's spirits a bit, as she wiped away her tears.

Having accomplished so much, Sancho then went back to his master's house to talk over some things of importance with him.

Having achieved so much, Sancho then returned to his master's house to discuss some important matters with him.


CHAPTER VI

Of What Took Place Between Don Quixote and His Niece and His Housekeeper; One of the Most Important Chapters in the Whole History

WHILE Sancho and his wife were flinging proverbs at each other at home, there was another scene of unrest at Don Quixote's house. The housekeeper had had a premonition of her master's impending expedition, and soon perceived by his actions that she had not been alarmed in vain. She and the niece employed all possible means to restrain him from faring forth; but to all their admonitions and advice and prayers he made the same reply: that there must be knights errant in the world to defend the weak and virtuous and to punish arrogance and sin, and that he was the one to set the world aright on that [Pg 162] score. And when his niece began to bewail his stubbornness and called down the wrath of heaven upon all tales of chivalry, he threatened to chastise her for uttering such blasphemies. Then he burst into a tirade on things and usages pertaining to chivalry, a discourse so saturated with knowledge that it called forth a cry of astonishment, a wail of disappointment, and a sigh of pity from the niece, to whom it suddenly seemed that her uncle had missed his vocation in life when he did not become a preacher.

WHILE Sancho and his wife were exchanging proverbs at home, another scene of chaos was unfolding at Don Quixote's house. The housekeeper had a feeling that her master was about to set off on an adventure, and soon realized by his actions that her worries were justified. She and the niece did everything they could to stop him from leaving; but despite all their warnings, advice, and pleas, he responded the same way: that there must be knights errant in the world to protect the weak and virtuous and to punish arrogance and wrongdoings, and that he was the one to make things right. When his niece began to lament his stubbornness and invoked the wrath of heaven on all stories of chivalry, he threatened to reprimand her for such blasphemies. He then launched into a passionate speech about chivalry, a discourse so filled with knowledge that it drew gasps of amazement, cries of disappointment, and sighs of pity from the niece, who suddenly thought that her uncle had truly missed his calling in life by not becoming a preacher.

This drove Don Quixote to discourse on almost everything under the sun, and he finished up by reciting poetry, at which the niece became terror-stricken from superstition, and exclaimed that her uncle knew everything in the world. She even dared to suppose he knew something about masonry and could build a house. This daring thought of hers he immediately corroborated by saying that if he were not so occupied with dealing out justice to the world, there would be nothing he could not do, from building cages to making toothpicks.

This led Don Quixote to talk about nearly everything imaginable, and he wrapped up by reciting poetry, which left his niece scared due to superstition. She exclaimed that her uncle knew everything in the world. She even dared to think that he might know something about construction and could build a house. He immediately supported this bold idea by saying that if he weren't so busy administering justice to the world, there would be nothing he couldn't do, from building cages to making toothpicks.

Just then there was a knock at the door. It was Sancho Panza. As soon as the housekeeper learned it was he, she fled from the room, for she had grown to detest him like sin itself. The niece opened the door for him, and he hastened to his master's room, where he was welcomed by Don Quixote. And soon they were in the midst of a conversation, which took place behind locked doors. [Pg 163]

Just then, someone knocked on the door. It was Sancho Panza. As soon as the housekeeper found out it was him, she rushed out of the room because she had come to dislike him intensely. The niece opened the door for him, and he quickly went to his master's room, where Don Quixote welcomed him. They soon began chatting, locked away behind closed doors. [Pg 163]


CHAPTER VII

Of What Passed Between Don Quixote and His Squire, Together with Other Very Notable Incidents

AS soon as the housekeeper heard Don Quixote turn the key in the door, she realized the urgency of the situation, put on her shawl, and ran to the house of the bachelor Samson Carrasco. She knew that her master had taken a fancy to this learned young man and thought he might be able to persuade him to give up the crazy idea. She fell on her knees before Samson and told him in excited language that her master had broken out again.

As soon as the housekeeper heard Don Quixote turn the key in the door, she understood the urgency of the situation, put on her shawl, and rushed to the house of the bachelor Samson Carrasco. She knew her master was fond of this educated young man and thought he might be able to convince him to give up his crazy idea. She dropped to her knees in front of Samson and told him in an excited tone that her master had gone off again.

"Where is he breaking out?" asked the roguish bachelor.

"Where is he escaping?" asked the mischievous bachelor.

"He is breaking out at the door of his madness," replied the bewildered housekeeper. "I mean he is going to break out again, for the third time, to hunt all over the world for what he calls adventures."

"He’s about to lose it again," replied the confused housekeeper. "I mean he’s going to run off for the third time to search the world for what he calls adventures."

And then she went on to say that his first sally ended in his being brought back home, slung across the back of a donkey. The second time he made his entry into the village in an ox-cart, shut up in a cage, and looking so worn and emaciated that his own mother would not have known him. The last escapade had been an extremely expensive one, for it had taken no less than six hundred eggs to cover up his bones again.

And then she said that his first adventure ended with him being brought back home, slung across the back of a donkey. The second time he entered the village in an ox cart, locked in a cage, looking so haggard and thin that even his own mother wouldn't have recognized him. The last escapade had been really costly, as it took no less than six hundred eggs to cover up his bones again.

The bachelor quieted the housekeeper, and promised her [Pg 164] to do all he could for her master. Then he advised her to return home and prepare something hot for breakfast, and on her way home to repeat the prayer of Santa Appolonia. He himself would be there in time for breakfast, he said. The housekeeper remonstrated with the bachelor for prescribing the prayer of Santa Appolonia, which, she declared, was for toothache and not for brains; but Samson told her to do as he bade her, reminding her that he was a learned bachelor of Salamanca and knew what he was talking about. The housekeeper then left, saying her prayer, and the bachelor went to look for the curate that they might decide what to do.

The bachelor calmed the housekeeper down and promised her [Pg 164] that he would do everything he could for her master. Then he suggested she go home and prepare something warm for breakfast, and on her way back, to say the prayer of Santa Appolonia. He assured her he would arrive in time for breakfast. The housekeeper argued with the bachelor about suggesting the prayer of Santa Appolonia, which she insisted was meant for toothaches, not for mental issues, but Samson told her to follow his advice, reminding her that he was a learned bachelor from Salamanca and knew what he was talking about. The housekeeper then left, saying her prayer, and the bachelor went off to find the curate so they could figure out what to do.

In the meantime Don Quixote and Sancho were discussing what the future was holding for them, and Sancho gave the glad news to his master that he had induced his wife to sanction his departure and his becoming governor. Sancho was very much annoyed by his master's continual interruptions and corrections. Whenever Sancho would misuse or abuse a word, as he did in almost every sentence, Don Quixote would stop and ask him what he meant, until poor Sancho was so confused that he did not know what he had meant. Finally Don Quixote asked him to tell him all that his wife had said, and as soon as Sancho had a chance to use proverbs again, he felt more at home. "Teresa says," he repeated, "that I should make sure with your Worship, and let papers speak and beards be still. One take is better than two I'll give thee's."

In the meantime, Don Quixote and Sancho were talking about what the future had in store for them, and Sancho happily informed his master that he had convinced his wife to approve of his leaving and becoming a governor. Sancho was quite frustrated by his master's constant interruptions and corrections. Whenever Sancho misused or incorrectly used a word, which happened in nearly every sentence, Don Quixote would stop him and ask what he meant, leaving poor Sancho so confused that he didn't even know what he had meant anymore. Finally, Don Quixote asked him to repeat everything his wife had said, and as soon as Sancho had the chance to use proverbs again, he felt more comfortable. "Teresa says," he repeated, "that I should make sure with your Worship, and let papers speak and beards be quiet. One take is better than two I'll give thee's."

"And so say I," said Don Quixote. "Continue, Sancho my friend. Go on; thou talkest pearls to-day."

"And so I say," said Don Quixote. "Keep going, Sancho my friend. You’re speaking beautifully today."

"The fact is," continued Sancho, "that, as your Worship [Pg 165] knows better than I do, we are all of us liable to death, and to-day we are, and to-morrow we are not. The lamb goes as soon as the sheep, and nobody can promise himself more hours of life in this world than God may be pleased to give him; for death is deaf, and when it comes to knock at our life's door, it is always insistent, and neither prayers, nor struggles, nor scepters, nor miters, can keep it back, as they tell us from the pulpits every day."

"The truth is," Sancho continued, "that, as you know better than I do, we’re all at risk of dying. Today we are here, and tomorrow we might not be. The lamb goes just as quickly as the sheep, and no one can guarantee themselves more time in this world than what God decides to give; because death doesn’t listen, and when it comes to knock on our door, it’s always persistent, and neither prayers, struggles, crowns, nor vestments can stop it, as we hear from the pulpits all the time."

Here Don Quixote felt he ought to ask a question. "Sancho," said he, "all that is true; but what art thou driving at?"

Here Don Quixote felt he should ask a question. "Sancho," he said, "that’s all true; but what are you getting at?"

And then came the reason for all these long-winded preliminaries. Sancho wanted his master to make definite arrangements with him for compensation. But here was the drawback. Don Quixote could recall no incident in any of the many books he had read, when a knight errant had given his squire fixed wages. How could he possibly establish a precedent now? And so it became his sad and solemn duty to refuse his squire's miserly request, and inform him that his services were no longer wanted. Not only that, but our valiant hero was cruel enough to remark that there would be any number of people who would be only too eager to serve him; and, what was more, he was convinced that no one could be less careful and diligent, or more thick-headed and talkative than Sancho.

And then came the reason for all these long-winded preliminaries. Sancho wanted his master to set clear terms for his payment. But there was a problem. Don Quixote couldn’t remember any story from the many books he had read where a knight-errant paid his squire a fixed salary. How could he possibly set a precedent now? So it became his unfortunate duty to deny his squire’s petty request and tell him that his services were no longer needed. What’s more, our brave hero was harsh enough to point out that there would be plenty of people eager to serve him; and, to top it off, he was sure that no one could be as careless and lazy, or as talkative and dull as Sancho.

Poor Sancho stood thunderstruck. He had expected his master would address him in a much more gracious manner; and had taken for granted that his own person was indispensable to his master. As he stood there gaping in amazement, the bachelor, Samson, suddenly entered, followed [Pg 166] by the niece and the housekeeper. Samson threw himself on his knees before the knight, passionately declaiming:

Poor Sancho was in shock. He had thought his master would speak to him in a much more polite way and assumed that he was essential to his master. As he stood there, bewildered, the bachelor, Samson, suddenly walked in, followed by the niece and the housekeeper. Samson dropped to his knees in front of the knight, passionately declaring:

"O flower of knight-errantry! O shining light of arms! O honor and mirror of the Spanish nation! May God Almighty grant that any person or persons who would impede or hinder thy third sally, may find no way out of the labyrinth of their schemes, nor ever accomplish what they most desire!"

"O flower of chivalry! O shining light of battle! O honor and reflection of the Spanish nation! May God Almighty grant that anyone who tries to stop your third quest finds no escape from their tangled plans, nor ever achieves what they most desire!"

Then he rose and turned to the housekeeper, who was distressed and astonished beyond words, telling her it was no use gainsaying her master; that he had made up his mind, and no Santa Appolonia or any other prayer would cause him to change it. Whereupon he addressed Don Quixote again in the same lofty way, and slyly asked him whether he would deign to accept him as his squire or as his meanest servant.

Then he stood up and turned to the housekeeper, who was so upset and shocked that she could barely speak, telling her it was pointless to argue with her master; he had made his decision, and no Santa Appolonia or any other prayer would change his mind. He then addressed Don Quixote again in the same dignified manner and slyly asked him whether he would accept him as his squire or as his lowest servant.

Sancho's eyes nearly bulged out of his head at this, and filled with tears. Fearing that he might lose both his master and his island, he embraced Don Quixote's knees and kissed his hand, begging Don Quixote not to give him up. Then he began to plead with him to leave the village at once. Don Quixote, having taken the squire into his fold again, embraced him, and then conferred with the bachelor and decided that they would set out three days hence. Samson promised to obtain a helmet for Don Quixote before the departure.

Sancho's eyes nearly popped out of his head at this, and he got teary. Worried that he might lose both his master and his island, he hugged Don Quixote’s knees and kissed his hand, pleading with Don Quixote not to abandon him. Then he started begging him to leave the village right away. Don Quixote, taking the squire back into his arms, embraced him, and then talked with the bachelor and decided they would set out in three days. Samson promised to get a helmet for Don Quixote before they left.

In the meantime the bachelor had daily conferences with the curate and the barber. The niece and the housekeeper were cursing the evil and learned bachelor of Salamanca, [Pg 167] and hardly slept at night for fear that Don Quixote would steal away in the darkness.

In the meantime, the bachelor met daily with the curate and the barber. The niece and the housekeeper were cursing the wicked and learned bachelor from Salamanca, [Pg 167] and they hardly slept at night for fear that Don Quixote would slip away in the dark.

Finally the night of the third day arrived, and Don Quixote and Sancho, accompanied by Samson, quietly and secretly stole out of the village, in the direction of El Toboso. When they had ridden half a league, Samson wished the knight errant godspeed, embraced him tenderly, begged him to let him hear of his good fortune, and then he returned to the village.

Finally, the night of the third day arrived, and Don Quixote and Sancho, along with Samson, quietly and secretly left the village, heading towards El Toboso. After riding half a league, Samson wished the knight errant good luck, hugged him warmly, asked him to keep him updated on his adventures, and then he went back to the village.


CHAPTER VIII

Wherein Is Related What Befell Don Quixote on His Way to See His Lady Dulcinea Del Toboso

SCARCELY had Samson departed before Rocinante began to neigh, and Dapple, Sancho's donkey, to bray; and these animal expressions, considering the time, and the road they were taking, were interpreted by their respective masters to be omens of good luck. But it so happened that Dapple kept up his braying. As a matter of fact he brayed so much louder than the emaciated Rocinante could neigh that the superstitious Sancho took it for a sign that his own good fortune would be ever so much greater than that of his master, though he was considerate enough to say nothing about it to him.

SCARCELY had Samson left when Rocinante started to neigh, and Dapple, Sancho's donkey, began to bray; these animal sounds, given the time and their path, were seen by their owners as signs of good luck. However, Dapple continued to bray persistently. In fact, he brayed much louder than the thin Rocinante could neigh, which made the superstitious Sancho believe it was a sign that his own fortune would be far greater than that of his master, although he was kind enough to keep that thought to himself.

Night soon began to fall, and the conversation between master and squire turned to Don Quixote's incomparable love, whom he had never seen in the flesh, and to whose [Pg 168] abode he was now making this pilgrimage in the dark, that he might be blessed by her before going into new battles.

Night started to set in, and the talk between the master and squire shifted to Don Quixote's unmatched love, whom he had never actually met, and to whose [Pg 168] home he was now journeying in the dark, hoping to receive her blessing before heading into new battles.

Sancho was beginning to worry that his imagination, with which he was not overburdened, would give out; for with every new question of his master's he had to give a fresh answer, and he was in a deadly fear that Don Quixote might discover that he had never been at El Toboso with the letter to his Lady Dulcinea. Again Don Quixote asked his squire to repeat how he had been received when he had brought her the message of his master's penance in the wilderness, but it infuriated him that Sancho should insist on her having been sifting wheat instead of pearls on that occasion. The courtyard wall mentioned by his squire must, of course, have been a portico, or corridor, or gallery of some rich and royal palace, only Sancho's language was so limited he could not express himself or describe things properly. Or perhaps that infernal enchanter had been busy again, and made things appear in different shapes before his squire's eyes.

Sancho was starting to worry that his imagination, which wasn’t exactly strong, would run out; every time his master asked a new question, he had to come up with a different answer. He was terrified that Don Quixote might find out he had never been to El Toboso with the letter for Lady Dulcinea. Once again, Don Quixote asked Sancho to repeat how he had been received when he delivered the message about his master’s penance in the wilderness, but it frustrated him that Sancho kept saying she was sifting wheat instead of pearls at that time. The courtyard wall his squire mentioned must have actually been a portico, corridor, or gallery of some rich and royal palace, but Sancho’s vocabulary was so limited he couldn’t describe things properly. Or maybe that wicked enchanter had been at it again, making things look different in Sancho’s eyes.

What his master said made Sancho's thought suddenly turn to the book which the bachelor Samson had spoken of, and he began to worry that some enchanter might have misrepresented his true character in its pages. He felt it his place and duty to defend himself aloud against any such evil; and having his master as audience, he proceeded to carry out this thought, which, however, he abandoned towards the end in favor of a careless independence: "But let them say what they like; naked was I born, naked [Pg 169] I find myself. I neither lose nor gain. When I see myself put into a book and passed on from hand to hand all over the world, I don't care a fig. Let them say what they like of me!"

What his master said made Sancho suddenly think of the book that the bachelor Samson had mentioned, and he started to worry that some enchanter might have misrepresented his true character in its pages. He felt it was his place and duty to defend himself aloud against any such misrepresentation; and with his master as an audience, he began to express this thought, but he dropped it toward the end in favor of a more laid-back attitude: "But let them say what they want; I was born naked, and that's how I find myself. I neither lose nor gain. When I see myself included in a book and passed around all over the world, I don't care at all. Let them say what they want about me!"

Perhaps what Sancho had just said made Don Quixote's thoughts drift out into the world, which was now being stirred by the accounts of his greatness, for he fell into contemplation on all the tombs and monuments to the great men of past ages. He touched upon the tombs of some who had become saints, when suddenly Sancho shot this question to him out of a clear sky: "Tell me, which is the greater work, to bring a dead man to life or to kill a giant?"

Perhaps what Sancho had just said caused Don Quixote's thoughts to wander into the world, which was now buzzing with reports of his greatness, as he began to reflect on all the tombs and monuments dedicated to the great men of history. He considered the tombs of some who had been made saints when, out of nowhere, Sancho asked him: "Tell me, what’s the greater feat, bringing a dead man back to life or killing a giant?"

Don Quixote was dumfounded by his squire's suddenness, but replied: "The answer is easy. It is a greater work to bring to life a dead man."

Don Quixote was taken aback by his squire's abruptness, but replied: "The answer is simple. It's a bigger task to bring a dead man back to life."

"Now I have got you!" Sancho exclaimed. Then he divulged his longing, which he wanted his master to share, to become a saint; viewing a saint's life from all sides, he had come to the conclusion that it was a much more peaceful life than that of a roving knight errant, who had to be up at all hours and out in all sorts of weather.

"Now I've got you!" Sancho shouted. Then he shared his desire, which he hoped his master would also feel, to become a saint; after looking at a saint's life from every angle, he concluded that it was a much more peaceful life than that of a wandering knight-errant, who had to be up at all hours and out in all kinds of weather.

But his master answered laconically: "We cannot all be friars." And then he went on to say that the number of knights errant in the world, deserving that name, was a very small one; that, as a matter of truth, knight-errantry, was a religion. But Sancho, stubborn as usual, insisted that there were more friars in heaven than knights errant. In this way they passed that night and the following day, without any trace of excitement or adventure.

But his master replied briefly, "We can't all be friars." He continued to explain that the number of true knights-errant in the world was very small; that, in reality, being a knight-errant was like a religion. But Sancho, as stubborn as ever, insisted that there were more friars in heaven than knights-errant. They spent that night and the next day without any sign of excitement or adventure.

Finally, at daybreak on the second day, they approached [Pg 170] the great city of El Toboso; and Sancho's worries increased as they came closer to the place where the heart of the peerless Dulcinea was beating—for what was he going to say or do when his master wanted to meet his beloved one? Don Quixote decided to await dusk before entering the city, and they spent the day resting in the shade of some oak-trees outside the town.

Finally, at dawn on the second day, they got closer to the great city of El Toboso; and Sancho's anxiety grew as they approached the spot where the heart of the unmatched Dulcinea was beating—for what was he going to say or do when his master wanted to meet his beloved? Don Quixote chose to wait until nightfall before entering the city, and they spent the day resting in the shade of some oak trees outside of town.


CHAPTER IX

Wherein Is Related What Will Be Seen There

IT was midnight when they rode into El Toboso. It was a very dark night, so Sancho could not be blamed for not finding the house in the darkness. They were greeted by a multitude of noises: barking dogs, braying asses, mewing cats, and grunting pigs; noises that seemed like an ill omen to Don Quixote. He suddenly turned to Sancho and said: "Sancho, my son, lead on to the place of Dulcinea. It may be that we shall find her awake."

IT was midnight when they rode into El Toboso. It was a very dark night, so Sancho couldn’t be blamed for not finding the house in the darkness. They were welcomed by a cacophony of sounds: barking dogs, braying donkeys, meowing cats, and grunting pigs; noises that felt like a bad omen to Don Quixote. He suddenly turned to Sancho and said: "Sancho, my son, lead on to Dulcinea's place. We might find her awake."

"Body of the sun! What palace am I to lead to, when what I saw Her Highness in was only a very little house?" exclaimed the squire.

"Body of the sun! What palace am I supposed to lead to, when what I saw Her Highness in was just a tiny house?" exclaimed the squire.

"Most likely she had then withdrawn into some small apartment of her palace," said Don Quixote, "to amuse herself with her damsels, as great ladies and princesses are accustomed to do."

"Most likely she had then retreated to some small apartment in her palace," said Don Quixote, "to entertain herself with her ladies-in-waiting, as highborn women and princesses usually do."

Here Sancho told his master to have it his own way, [Pg 171] but asked him whether he thought it in conformity with the behavior of a gentleman to go around in the middle of the night knocking at people's doors. Don Quixote dispensed with the discussion of this particular point; all he wanted to do, he said, was to find the house. Then they could discuss how to proceed. So they roamed about the city, Don Quixote insisting that first one house and then another was the palace of his love, until they finally hit upon the great tower of the church. At last he had found it, he declared. Here was where she dwelt, he was quite sure.

Here Sancho told his master to do what he wanted, [Pg 171] but asked him if he really thought it was appropriate for a gentleman to be knocking on people's doors in the middle of the night. Don Quixote brushed off this point; all he wanted to do was find the house. Then they could talk about what to do next. So they wandered around the city, with Don Quixote insisting that first one house and then another was the palace of his love, until they finally came across the tall tower of the church. He had found it at last, he proclaimed. This was where she lived, he was completely sure.

But Sancho, hearing this and seeing it was a church, began to feel ill at ease, for his superstitious soul did not like the idea of walking across a graveyard at such an hour of the night. He quickly told his master, he was now certain that the Lady Dulcinea lived in an alley, a kind thought which was rewarded by a fierce outburst from Don Quixote.

But Sancho, hearing this and realizing it was a church, started to feel uneasy because his superstitious nature didn’t like the idea of walking through a graveyard at that hour of the night. He quickly told his master that he was now sure that Lady Dulcinea lived in an alley, a kind thought that was met with a fierce outburst from Don Quixote.

"The curse of God on thee for a blockhead!" he exclaimed. "Where hast thou ever heard of castles and royal palaces being built in alleys?"

"The curse of God on you for being such a fool!" he shouted. "Where have you ever heard of castles and royal palaces being built in alleys?"

"I wish I saw the dogs eating it for leading us such a dance," was all that Sancho said in reply.

"I wish I had seen the dogs eating it for making us go through all that trouble," was all Sancho said in response.

But evidently this was not a pleasing answer to Don Quixote, for he admonished his squire: "Speak respectfully of what belongs to my lady; let us keep the feast in peace, and not throw the rope after the bucket!"

But clearly, this was not a satisfying answer for Don Quixote, as he warned his squire: "Speak respectfully about what belongs to my lady; let’s enjoy the feast in peace and not throw the rope after the bucket!"

Sancho muttered something about how he could be expected to find, in the dark of night, a house he had only seen once in his lifetime, when his master, who must have [Pg 172] seen it hundreds of times, could not recognize it. To this his master retorted wearily that he had told him a thousand times that he was enamored only by hearsay, and had never visited Dulcinea in her palace.

Sancho grumbled about how anyone could expect him to find a house he had only seen once in his life, especially at night, when his master, who had been there hundreds of times, couldn’t even recognize it. His master replied tiredly that he had told Sancho a thousand times that he was only infatuated with stories and had never actually visited Dulcinea in her palace.

At this moment a laborer on his way to his work came along on the road, singing a dreary song. It was only another omen to Don Quixote that his efforts to approach his lady would not be crowned with success that night. He asked the man to direct him to the palace of his princess, but the laborer turned out to be a stranger, having only just come to the city.

At that moment, a worker on his way to work passed by on the road, singing a sad song. It was just another sign to Don Quixote that his attempts to reach his lady wouldn’t be successful that night. He asked the man for directions to the palace of his princess, but the worker turned out to be a stranger, having just arrived in the city.

Don Quixote was grieved that he could not find Dulcinea, and when Sancho suggested that they withdraw from the city and develop a plan for seeing her, he was ready to accept it. So they left El Toboso and hid in a forest nearby. There it was decided that Sancho should return to the city as the messenger of love for his master.

Don Quixote was upset that he couldn't find Dulcinea, and when Sancho suggested they leave the city and come up with a plan to see her, he agreed. So they left El Toboso and took cover in a nearby forest. It was decided that Sancho would go back to the city as the messenger of love for his master.


CHAPTER X

Wherein Is Related the Crafty Device Sancho Adopted to Enchant the Lady Dulcinea, and Other Incidents as Ludicrous as They Are True

DON QUIXOTE instructed Sancho to ask his lady for an audience for him, and he begged his squire to observe every little change in her expression and demeanor, that he might tell him about it afterward. Sancho [Pg 173] then set off on Dapple; but as soon as he was out of sight, he dismounted, seated himself on the ground, and took measure of the situation aloud. In a meditative soliloquy he discussed with himself the problem that was his, and he finally reasoned that there was a remedy for everything except death. If his master could take windmills for giants, and a flock of sheep for an army, why could he not take black for white, and any country lass that came along, for his princess? Having reached this satisfactory conclusion, he decided to remain where he was till in the afternoon, in which time he could reasonably have gone to El Toboso and returned.

DON QUIXOTE told Sancho to ask his lady for a meeting on his behalf, and he urged his squire to pay attention to every little change in her expression and behavior so he could tell him about it later. Sancho [Pg 173] then rode off on Dapple; but as soon as he was out of sight, he got off, sat down on the ground, and took stock of the situation out loud. In a thoughtful monologue, he talked to himself about the issue at hand, concluding that there was a solution for everything except death. If his master could see windmills as giants and a flock of sheep as an army, why couldn’t he see black as white and any country girl that passed by as his princess? Having reached this satisfying conclusion, he decided to stay put until the afternoon, by which time he could have reasonably gone to El Toboso and come back.

As the afternoon arrived, three country girls came along on their donkeys, on the road from the city. The moment Sancho saw them, he mounted his ass and returned to find his master, who nearly went out of his head with joy, and promised Sancho the three next foals from his three mares, when his squire told him that the Lady Dulcinea was coming to see him, accompanied by two of her ladies-in-waiting. And then the lying Sancho went on to describe them: how they were robed in richest brocade, and weighted down with jewels—precious stones and pearls. But when Don Quixote saw the three peasant girls approach, he said he could see nothing but three jackasses and three girls. Any princess, or any one like one, he failed to see. Finally Sancho persuaded him to believe that those he saw were really three ladies, one of them being the Peerless One, who had come to bestow her blessing upon him. And so Don Quixote fell on his knees in the dust of the road before the [Pg 174] girls, giving vent to his immeasurable gratitude to her, his queen, who had come all this distance to give him her blessing.

As the afternoon came, three country girls rode by on their donkeys, heading from the city. The moment Sancho spotted them, he jumped on his donkey and rushed back to find his master, who was almost beside himself with joy. He promised Sancho the next three foals from his three mares when his squire told him that Lady Dulcinea was coming to see him, along with two of her ladies-in-waiting. Then, the lying Sancho went on to describe them: how they were dressed in the finest brocade, covered in jewels—precious stones and pearls. But when Don Quixote saw the three peasant girls approaching, he claimed he could see nothing but three donkeys and three girls. He didn't see any princesses or anyone resembling one. Eventually, Sancho convinced him to believe that the ones he saw were actually three ladies, one of whom was the Peerless One, who had come to offer her blessing. So, Don Quixote knelt in the dust of the road before the [Pg 174] girls, expressing his immense gratitude to her, his queen, who had traveled so far to grant him her blessing.

When the ugly peasant girl heard herself called a queen and Dulcinea, she thought that Don Quixote was trying to play a joke on her, so she got angry, and yelled to him: "Get out of the way, bad luck to you, and let us pass, for we are in a hurry!" and left the astonished knight crawling in the dust.

When the unattractive peasant girl heard someone call her a queen and Dulcinea, she thought Don Quixote was making fun of her, so she got mad and shouted, "Get out of the way, bad luck to you, and let us pass, because we’re in a hurry!" and walked off, leaving the stunned knight crawling in the dirt.

Sancho had also fallen to his knees, to help his master in his plea for blessing, and he called out after the peasant girls: "Oh, princess and universal lady of El Toboso, is not your heart softened by seeing the pillar and prop of knight-errantry on his knees before your sublimated presence?"

Sancho had also dropped to his knees to support his master in his request for a blessing, and he called out to the peasant girls: "Oh, princess and queen of El Toboso, isn't your heart touched by seeing the pillar and support of chivalry on his knees before your elevated presence?"

When the wenches were out of sight, Don Quixote turned to his squire and bemoaned, cast-down, his evil fate, and the length his sage enemy would go to gain his ends. The very worst thing of all, he said, was that the evil enchanter had turned his Dulcinea into an ugly peasant, who smelled of garlic. And while Don Quixote was thus complaining, Sancho struggled to hide his laughter, happy to have saved himself and to have played such a joke on his master.

When the girls were out of sight, Don Quixote turned to his squire and lamented his misfortune, feeling defeated by the lengths his wicked enemy would go to achieve his goals. The worst part, he said, was that the evil enchanter had turned his Dulcinea into an ugly peasant who smelled like garlic. And while Don Quixote was complaining, Sancho struggled to hide his laughter, pleased to have saved himself and to have pulled such a prank on his master.

At last Don Quixote was ready to mount his hack, and they steered their beasts in the direction of Saragossa. [Pg 175]

At last, Don Quixote was ready to get on his horse, and they headed their animals toward Saragossa. [Pg 175]


CHAPTER XI

Of the Strange Adventure Which the Valiant Don Quixote Had with the Car or Cart of "The Cortes of Death"

SANCHO did his best to imbue his master with a new inspiration; for Don Quixote was a sorry sight as he was riding along on his hack. The enchantment of his Dulcinea had been a great blow to him. He fell into a sort of meditative slumber, from which he would rouse himself only now and then. Suddenly, however, he was fully awake, for on the road he saw before his very eyes a cart with Death on the front seat, and drawn by mules that were being led by the Devil himself.

SANCHO tried his best to inspire his master; Don Quixote looked pretty pathetic as he rode along on his old horse. The enchantment of his Dulcinea had really affected him. He sank into a kind of thoughtful daze, only waking up now and then. Suddenly, though, he was completely alert, because he saw right in front of him a cart with Death sitting in the front seat, being pulled by mules that were led by the Devil himself.

As soon as the knight could gather his senses, he distinguished the rest of the strange company that occupied the cart. Next to Death sat an ugly angel with wings, and on the other side Don Quixote observed an emperor with a crown of gold on his head. Then he discovered Cupid—who was a god—and a knight with plumes in his hat. There were a number of other figures, all weird and awe-inspiring, in strange costumes and with curious faces, and when Sancho saw them he turned as pale as Death himself, and his teeth began to chatter from fright. Even Don Quixote was more than startled, but his heroism soon asserted itself, and he was quickly himself again, glad to sense another adventure. He gave Rocinante the spur, the lean hack sprang forward to the cart at a sickly gallop, [Pg 176] and Don Quixote exclaimed: "Carter or coachman, or devil or whatever thou art, tell me at once who thou art, whither thou art going, and who these folk are thou carriest in thy wagon, which looks more like Charon's boat than an ordinary cart!"

As soon as the knight could get his bearings, he recognized the rest of the strange group in the cart. Next to Death sat an ugly angel with wings, and on the other side, Don Quixote noticed an emperor wearing a gold crown. Then he saw Cupid—who was a god—and a knight with feathers in his hat. There were several other figures, all bizarre and awe-inspiring, dressed in odd costumes and sporting strange faces, and when Sancho saw them, he turned as pale as Death himself, and his teeth started to chatter from fear. Even Don Quixote was taken aback, but his courage soon kicked in, and he quickly regained his composure, eager for another adventure. He urged Rocinante onward, and the lean horse moved forward to the cart at a sickly gallop, [Pg 176] and Don Quixote shouted: "Carter or driver, or devil or whatever you are, tell me at once who you are, where you are going, and who these people are that you’re carrying in your wagon, which looks more like Charon's boat than a regular cart!"

To this challenge the devil responded on behalf of himself and his fellow-travelers, explaining that they were harmless players of Angulo el Malo's company; that they had been acting the play of "The Cortes of Death" in the village from which they had just come; and since they had to act the same play in a village nearby in the afternoon, they wished to save themselves the trouble of making up twice, by remaining in their costumes. The devil was extremely polite and offered to give Don Quixote any information he could, adding that, being the devil, he was up to everything; besides he played the leading parts, he said. Don Quixote told them how disappointed he was that this had not turned out to be another adventure; then he wished them a happy journey, saying that ever since he was a child he had been an admirer of the actor and fond of his art.

To this challenge, the devil responded on behalf of himself and his companions, explaining that they were harmless members of Angulo el Malo's acting troupe; that they had just performed "The Cortes of Death" in the village they had come from; and since they had to perform the same play in a nearby village in the afternoon, they wanted to avoid the hassle of changing costumes twice. The devil was very polite and offered to share any information he could, adding that, being the devil, he knew everything; besides, he played the main roles, he said. Don Quixote expressed his disappointment that this hadn’t turned into another adventure; then he wished them a safe journey, mentioning that ever since he was a child, he had admired the actor and appreciated his craft.

As they were about to take leave, one of the mummers, with three blown ox-bladders at the end of a stick, came up and banged them against the ground under Rocinante's nose; and the frightened animal set off across the plain as if he had been shot out of a cannon, taking the bit in his teeth. Sancho was so certain his master would be thrown that he left his donkey and ran as fast as he could after Rocinante. But when he reached Don Quixote, the knight was already on the ground and with him Rocinante, whose [Pg 177] legs always seemed to give away after a sudden strain.

As they were about to leave, one of the performers, with three inflated ox bladders on a stick, came over and banged them on the ground right under Rocinante's nose; the startled horse took off across the field as if fired from a cannon, with the bit in his teeth. Sancho was so sure his master would fall that he abandoned his donkey and ran as fast as he could after Rocinante. But when he caught up to Don Quixote, the knight was already on the ground, along with Rocinante, whose [Pg 177] legs always seemed to buckle after a sudden strain.

Now, as soon as Sancho had run away from Dapple, the crazy devil with the bladders was on his back tickling his ears with them, and the donkey flew across the fields toward the village as if beset.

Now, as soon as Sancho ran away from Dapple, the crazy guy with the bladders was on his back, tickling his ears with them, and the donkey sprinted across the fields toward the village as if it were being chased.

Seeing his faithful one running away, Sancho was in mortal agony, as well as in a quandary, for he did not know whether to attend to the donkey or his master first. Finally he found his love for human beings was the greater, and rushed to his master's side. When he had helped him to mount, he told him that the devil had run away with Dapple. Immediately Don Quixote was ready to pursue the enemy; but just then the squire saw his Dapple come running back, and cautioned his master to be meek.

Seeing his faithful one running away, Sancho was in deep distress, not sure whether to help the donkey or his master first. In the end, his love for people won out, and he rushed to his master's side. Once he helped him get on, he told him that the devil had taken Dapple. Immediately, Don Quixote was ready to chase after the enemy; but just then, the squire saw his Dapple running back and warned his master to stay calm.

But Don Quixote was eager to give the mummer a lesson in courtesy, even, as he said, if he had to visit his sin upon the rest of the company, not barring the Emperor himself. Sancho did his best to warn his master that there was great danger in meddling with actors, as they were a favored class; but had the King himself interfered in their behalf, it would not have stayed the hand of the errant revenger.

But Don Quixote was determined to teach the performer a lesson in manners, even if it meant bringing his wrath upon the rest of the group, including the Emperor himself. Sancho tried hard to caution his master that there was significant risk in involving himself with actors, as they were a protected class; but even if the King himself had intervened on their behalf, it wouldn’t have stopped the hand of the wandering avenger.

So Don Quixote drew forth, and caught up with the cart as it was close to the village. He commanded the players to halt, saying he wanted to teach them how to be courteous to donkeys and animals that served squires and knights errant for steeds. The merrymakers could tell by his stentorian tone that he was not jesting, so they all quickly jumped out of the cart and armed themselves with stones.

So Don Quixote stepped forward and approached the cart as it neared the village. He ordered the performers to stop, saying he wanted to teach them how to be respectful to donkeys and animals that served squires and knights errant as steeds. The revelers could tell by his loud voice that he was serious, so they all quickly got out of the cart and armed themselves with stones.

By this time Sancho had reached the scene of action, [Pg 178] and as soon as he saw the threatening attitude of the strollers, he begged his master not to fight against either Death or the angels, particularly since neither one of them was a knight errant; nor was there any one in the whole company who was. This point Don Quixote thought was wisely taken, and he ordered his squire to fight the battle himself. But Sancho said he preferred to show a Christian spirit and forgive, and promised his master he would come to an agreement with his donkey to leave his end of the grievance to the squire's goodwill.

By this time, Sancho had arrived at the scene, [Pg 178] and as soon as he noticed the hostile stance of the group, he urged his master not to fight against either Death or the angels, especially since neither of them was a knight-errant, and there wasn't anyone in the whole company who was. Don Quixote thought this was a wise point, and he instructed his squire to fight the battle himself. But Sancho said he preferred to demonstrate a Christian spirit and forgive, and he promised his master that he would negotiate with his donkey to leave his part of the issue to the squire's goodwill.

Don Quixote let Sancho have his way; and when they had seen the caravan of mountebanks disappear, Sancho was happy in the thought that he had averted a great calamity for himself and his master.

Don Quixote let Sancho do what he wanted; and after they watched the caravan of entertainers vanish, Sancho felt pleased that he had prevented a major disaster for himself and his master.


CHAPTER XII

Of the Strange Adventure Which Befell the Valiant Don Quixote with the Bold Knight of the Grove

THEY passed that night under some cork-trees, and while they were eating their supper, Sancho as usual became talkative and again gave proof of his chronic weakness for proverbs. Every phrase abounded with them. As ever, he would use them to fit the wrong case, or twist them so as to fit what he wanted them to fit. Don Quixote had to laugh at his squire's simplicity, and at the way he tried to imitate his master's manner of speaking. His words and expressions were indeed a strange mixture. [Pg 179] One moment he would use the most abominable grammar and the next he would borrow the language of Don Quixote, repeating in stilted fashion the polite phrases he had heard Don Quixote use in his flowery discourses on knighthood and chivalry.

THEY spent that night under some cork trees, and while they were having dinner, Sancho, as usual, became chatty and once again showed his ongoing love for proverbs. Every sentence was packed with them. As always, he would misuse them or twist them to fit whatever he wanted. Don Quixote couldn't help but laugh at his squire's simplicity and at how he tried to mimic his master's way of speaking. His words and expressions were indeed a strange mix. [Pg 179] One moment he would use the most terrible grammar, and the next he would adopt Don Quixote's language, awkwardly repeating the polite phrases he had heard Don Quixote use in his elaborate speeches on knighthood and chivalry.

Soon after they had fallen asleep, Don Quixote was awakened by the sound of men's voices. He quickly rose, curious and anxious to learn who the disturbers were, and was amazed to behold a real knight, clad in full armor, dismount from his horse, while speaking words that indicated he was lovesick and in despair. Don Quixote hastened to call Sancho, who awoke to the tune of a love sonnet sung by the strange knight, and was as startled as his master had been, though, perhaps, not greatly thrilled at this promise of a new adventure in the middle of the night.

Soon after they fell asleep, Don Quixote was woken up by the sound of men's voices. He quickly got up, curious and anxious to find out who was causing the disturbance, and was amazed to see a real knight, dressed in full armor, get off his horse while speaking words that showed he was lovesick and in despair. Don Quixote hurried to call Sancho, who woke up to the tune of a love sonnet being sung by the strange knight and was as startled as his master had been, though maybe not as excited about this unexpected promise of a new adventure in the middle of the night.

But if Don Quixote was surprised when he was awakened, what was his amazement when he suddenly heard such words as these: "O fairest and most ungrateful woman on earth! Can it be possible, most serene Casildea de Vandalia, that thou wilt suffer this thy captive knight to waste away and perish in ceaseless wanderings and rude and arduous toils? Is it not enough that I have compelled all the knights of Navarre, the Leonese, the Tartesians, and the Castilians, and finally all the knights of La Mancha to confess thee the most beautiful in the world?"

But if Don Quixote was surprised when he woke up, how amazed was he when he suddenly heard words like these: "O fairest and most ungrateful woman on earth! Can it really be, most serene Casildea de Vandalia, that you will allow your captive knight to waste away and perish in endless wandering and harsh, difficult tasks? Isn’t it enough that I have made all the knights of Navarre, the Leonese, the Tartessians, the Castilians, and finally all the knights of La Mancha admit that you are the most beautiful in the world?"

Don Quixote took exception to this last statement in silence, knowing that his chance to correct it was at no great distance. But Sancho soon gave himself and his master away to the Knight of the Grove by becoming too [Pg 180] talkative, and they were hailed by the knight, who greeted them in the most courteous manner, when he learned who they were.

Don Quixote remained silent about this last comment, knowing that he would have a chance to address it soon. However, Sancho quickly revealed their identities to the Knight of the Grove by being overly chatty, and the knight welcomed them warmly once he realized who they were.

The two knights errant soon were engaged in a friendly conversation, which Sancho could not restrain himself from breaking into; but the Knight of the Grove was quick to reprimand him, saying he never permitted his squire to open his mouth. Whereupon Sancho persuaded himself and the squire of the Grove to remove to a spot where they could talk between themselves without being overheard by their superiors, and where they might be undisturbed by any yoke of knighthood etiquette.

The two knights on their quests soon got into a friendly chat, which Sancho couldn't help but interrupt; but the Knight of the Grove quickly told him off, saying he never allowed his squire to speak. So, Sancho convinced himself and the squire of the Grove to move to a place where they could talk to each other without being heard by their superiors, and where they wouldn't be bothered by any knightly etiquette.


CHAPTERS XIII-XIV

In Which Is Continued the Adventure of the Knight of the Grove, Together with the Sensible and Tranquil Colloquy That Passed Between the Two Squires

THE two squires drank and talked most of the night, bemoaning the fate of squires in general. Before they finally fell asleep, the squire of the Grove suggested that, since they both were tired of knight-errantry, they give up the life. To this Sancho replied that he would remain in his master's service until he arrived at Saragossa, when he might decide to leave him.

THE two squires drank and chatted for most of the night, complaining about the fate of squires in general. Before they finally fell asleep, the squire of the Grove suggested that since they were both tired of being knights-errant, they should quit that life. To this, Sancho replied that he would stay in his master's service until they reached Saragossa, at which point he could decide whether to leave him.

In the meantime the two knights also were exchanging confidences; and the Knight of the Grove told Don Quixote of all the great and famous errants he had conquered [Pg 181] in single combat. Don Quixote was all ear, but nearly gasped for breath when he heard the knight say that he had vanquished the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha, and had made him confess that his own Casildea was more beautiful by far than the La Mancha knight's Dulcinea. Don Quixote suppressed a scornful smile that threatened to betray him, and controlled the feelings that the boasting errant's words provoked, while wondering at the braggart's audacity. He slyly expressed a doubt, however, that the valiant knight Don Quixote of La Mancha had let himself be vanquished by any living being. The Knight of the Grove then gave a description of Don Quixote which in every detail fitted him.

In the meantime, the two knights were sharing secrets, and the Knight of the Grove told Don Quixote about all the great and famous battles he had won in single combat. Don Quixote was all ears but nearly gasped when he heard the knight say he had defeated the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha and forced him to admit that his own Casildea was way more beautiful than La Mancha's Dulcinea. Don Quixote stifled a scornful smile that almost gave him away and controlled his emotions in response to the boasting knight's words, all while marveling at the braggart's boldness. He slyly expressed doubt, however, that the valiant knight Don Quixote of La Mancha had ever been defeated by anyone. The Knight of the Grove then described Don Quixote in a way that matched him perfectly.

That drew Don Quixote out of his originally assumed indifference. He told the knight that he himself was no other than that famed and illustrious errant, and declared that any other one that had appeared as Don Quixote, must have been some enchanter who had disguised himself to resemble him, in order to defraud him of the honor that was rightly due to him. Then he proceeded to tell the knight how his enemy had transformed the Lady Dulcinea, and challenged the Knight of the Grove to single combat if he dared to question what Don Quixote maintained to be the truth.

That brought Don Quixote out of his initially feigned indifference. He told the knight that he was none other than the famous and legendary knight-errant, asserting that anyone else who appeared as Don Quixote must have been some sorcerer trying to impersonate him in order to steal the honor that rightfully belonged to him. He then went on to explain how his enemy had transformed Lady Dulcinea and challenged the Knight of the Grove to a duel if he dared to question what Don Quixote insisted was the truth.

To this challenge the Knight of the Grove retorted that since he had once vanquished the semblance of Don Quixote, he would now welcome the opportunity of meeting him in combat in his own proper shape. Being a cautious and cold-blooded knight, however, he suggested to Don Quixote that they should rest until the morning, when the [Pg 182] mighty struggle could ensue in the light of day. It was further agreed that the vanquished knight should place himself at the command of the victor, to fulfill any desire of his within the bounds of chivalry.

To this challenge, the Knight of the Grove responded that since he had previously defeated the likeness of Don Quixote, he would now welcome the chance to meet him in battle in his true form. Being a cautious and level-headed knight, however, he suggested to Don Quixote that they should rest until morning, when the [Pg 182] great fight could take place in the daylight. They also agreed that the defeated knight would serve the victor and fulfill any request within the bounds of chivalry.

Each one was eager to inform his own squire of what the morning was to behold, so they awoke Sancho and the squire of the Grove and told them. Sancho was scared that his master might not be the gainer, for the squire of the Grove had been feeding him with stories of his master's conquests all that night until they had fallen asleep, drunk with wine.

Each of them was eager to tell their own squire what the morning had in store, so they woke up Sancho and the squire of the Grove to share the news. Sancho felt anxious that his master might not come out ahead, since the squire of the Grove had been filling his head with tales of his master's victories all night until they both fell asleep, tipsy from wine.

The squires went to get the horses ready, and on the way Sancho was aghast to learn that he would have to fight the friendly squire of the Grove in cold blood, this squire maintaining that such was a rule among knights errant. Sancho said he would rather give two pounds of wax to the church than fight with him; furthermore, he said, he could not, for he had no sword, and never had had one. Whereupon the friendly squire told him that did not matter, and proceeded to make ready two linen bags, both of the same size, saying they could fight their duel in this fashion. This was most pleasing to Sancho, until he perceived the other squire filling the bags with pebbles, when he remonstrated, saying he thought their masters could settle the whole affair without their interference. But his friend the squire insisted that they fight, even if it should be only for half an hour, and offered—if he should have any difficulty in rousing himself to the occasion—to give Sancho a few cudgels and whacks to act as an inspiration.

The squires went to get the horses ready, and on the way, Sancho was shocked to learn that he would have to fight the friendly squire of the Grove for real, as this squire claimed that it was a rule among knights errant. Sancho said he would rather donate two pounds of wax to the church than fight him; besides, he said, he couldn’t because he didn’t have a sword and had never owned one. The friendly squire told him that didn’t matter and started preparing two linen bags, both the same size, saying they could have their duel this way. This made Sancho happy until he saw the other squire filling the bags with pebbles, at which point he objected, saying he thought their masters could handle the whole situation without their involvement. But his friend the squire insisted they fight, even if it was just for half an hour, and offered—if he had trouble getting motivated—to give Sancho a few hits with a stick to inspire him.

By this time it was beginning to dawn, and Sancho was [Pg 183] watching the sunrise. As he looked around, the first object that he saw the sunrays strike was the nose of the squire of the Grove, protruding out of the opened visor of his helmet. It was an object so fearful to look at that Sancho Panza was paralyzed with fright. The nose was so large it seemed uncanny. It was covered with warts and was bent at a tremendous angle, and it hung down way beneath his chin, while its color was that of an eggplant. It was a face so horrible and ugly to look at that Sancho's eyes nearly rolled out of his head. He acted as if he were about to have convulsions, for he began to tremble from head to foot. When Don Quixote beheld the squire's countenance, even he began to show signs of feebleness, but his bravery overcame his fears. He shrugged his shoulders as if shaking off an evil spirit, and was ready for the combat with his adversary.

By this time, dawn was breaking, and Sancho was [Pg 183] watching the sunrise. As he looked around, the first thing the sun hit was the nose of the squire of the Grove, sticking out from the opened visor of his helmet. It was such a terrifying sight that Sancho Panza froze in fear. The nose was so huge it looked unnatural. It was covered in warts, bent at an odd angle, and hung down far below his chin, with the color of an eggplant. It was a face so horrible and ugly that Sancho's eyes nearly popped out of his head. He acted like he was about to have a seizure, trembling from head to toe. When Don Quixote saw the squire’s face, he too showed signs of weakness, but his courage pushed through his fears. He shrugged his shoulders as if shaking off a bad spirit and got ready to face his opponent.

Before the battle began, Sancho pleaded with his master to help him up into a tree; so afraid was he of this monstrous squire with the awful nose. But while Don Quixote was hoisting his faithful one up into a cork-tree, he suddenly heard the knight approach on his steed behind him, and not knowing whether it was squire or master, and being subconsciously afraid of the nose, one blow of which might have felled him, it seemed, he turned around and made straight for the knight.

Before the battle started, Sancho begged his master to help him climb a tree because he was so scared of that monstrous squire with the terrible nose. But while Don Quixote was lifting his loyal companion into a cork tree, he suddenly heard the knight approaching on his horse behind him. Not knowing whether it was the squire or the master and being subconsciously afraid of that nose—one hit from which could knock him out—he turned around and headed straight for the knight.

The facts were that this gentleman was trying to limber up the joints of his charger—a hack of the same caliber as Rocinante—and was just taking his horse on a tour of exercise, making him skip hither and thither, wherever his master's agonized spurring would carry him. Each time [Pg 184] he would land heavily on his stiff legs, and it was when Don Quixote suddenly heard the sound of such a landing behind him that he turned. But by the time Rocinante had completed the turn, which was a movement of much contemplation and hesitation on his part, the back of the Knight of the Grove shone in the distance. Charging by sound and instinct rather than by sight, not seeing whether the knight was coming or going, Don Quixote set upon him with such blind fury that with one thrust of his lance he sent the bespangled gentleman flying out of his saddle, so that he fell flat on the ground, seemingly dead.

The situation was that this guy was trying to warm up his horse—a mount just like Rocinante—and was taking his horse for some exercise, making him jump around wherever his master’s desperate spurring would lead. Each time, he would land heavily on his stiff legs, and it was when Don Quixote suddenly heard the sound of that landing behind him that he turned. But by the time Rocinante managed to turn around, which took a lot of thought and hesitation on his part, the back of the Knight of the Grove glimmered in the distance. Moving more by sound and instinct than by sight, not knowing if the knight was coming or going, Don Quixote charged at him with such wild rage that with one thrust of his lance he sent the decorated gentleman flying off his saddle, making him fall flat on the ground, apparently lifeless.

Now, when Sancho saw what an auspicious beginning and ending the adventure had had for his master, he heaved a sigh of relief and contentment and climbed down from his tree, approaching the lifeless monster with caution and superstitious awe. But he had taken only one look into his face, when he began to cross himself with so many motions and contortions that Don Quixote thought his squire had gone insane. Turning to his master, who had been contemplating his victory with pride from the back of Rocinante, Sancho begged him to thrust his sword into the mouth of his vanquished foe. Scarcely had he made this suggestion before Don Quixote drew his sword and advanced to carry it out, when the squire of the Grove, now minus the drooping nose, ran forward, wildly exclaiming: "Mind what you are about to do, Señor Don Quixote! That is your friend the bachelor, Samson Carrasco, you have at your feet, and I am his squire!"

Now, when Sancho saw how well the adventure had started and ended for his master, he let out a sigh of relief and happiness and climbed down from his tree, approaching the lifeless monster with caution and a bit of superstition. But he had only taken one look at its face when he started crossing himself with so many gestures and expressions that Don Quixote thought his squire had lost his mind. Turning to his master, who had been proudly admiring his victory from the back of Rocinante, Sancho asked him to stab the mouth of his defeated enemy. Just as he made this suggestion, Don Quixote drew his sword and moved to do it, when the squire of the Grove, now without the drooping nose, rushed forward, shouting: "Watch what you’re about to do, Señor Don Quixote! That’s your friend the bachelor, Samson Carrasco, lying at your feet, and I’m his squire!"

"And the nose?" Sancho broke in, unable to restrain his amazed senses. [Pg 185]

"And the nose?" Sancho interrupted, unable to contain his astonishment. [Pg 185]

"I have it here in my pocket," answered the squire of the Grove, as he pulled out and showed him a false nose of immense proportions.

"I've got it right here in my pocket," replied the squire of the Grove, as he pulled out and showed him a huge fake nose.

Whereupon Sancho eyed the squire more carefully, and suddenly cried out: "Holy Mary be good to me! Isn't it Tom Cecial, my neighbor and gossip!"

Whereupon Sancho looked at the squire more closely and suddenly shouted: "Holy Mary, help me! Isn't it Tom Cecial, my neighbor and friend!"

And Tom was only too glad to confess that he was.

And Tom was more than happy to admit that he was.

At this very moment the bachelor returned from the dead, and when Don Quixote saw him open his eyes, he pointed his sword at his face and swore that the Knight of the Mirrors—thus he called the Knight of the Grove because of his shining regalia—would be a dead man if he did not pronounce the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso the most beautiful woman in the world. Furthermore, he demanded that he swear to present himself before the Peerless One in the city of El Toboso, that she might deal out judgment upon him. Having been dealt with by her, the Knight of the Grove was to return to inform him of the punishment, giving a full account of what had passed between them.

At that very moment, the bachelor came back to life, and when Don Quixote saw him open his eyes, he pointed his sword at his face and declared that the Knight of the Mirrors—his name for the Knight of the Grove because of his shiny armor—would be a dead man if he didn't declare the Lady Dulcinea del Toboso the most beautiful woman in the world. He also demanded that he swear to go before the Peerless One in the city of El Toboso so she could give her judgment. After being dealt with by her, the Knight of the Grove was supposed to come back and tell him what punishment she decided, giving a full report of their conversation.

The fallen Samson gladly confessed to everything, including his belief in the true identity of his conqueror. He felt an urgent need for medicine and plaster, and he and his squire departed quickly to seek such aid in the nearest village, while Don Quixote and Sancho took the road which lead to Saragossa. [Pg 186]

The fallen Samson openly admitted everything, including his belief about who had defeated him. He urgently needed medicine and bandages, so he and his squire quickly headed off to find help in the nearest village, while Don Quixote and Sancho took the road to Saragossa. [Pg 186]


CHAPTER XV

Wherein It is Made Known How the Knight of the Mirror and His Squire Emerged from Their Adventure

AS Don Quixote was bumping along on his lean Rocinante, he was dreaming of the return of the Knight of the Mirrors, who would bring him word about his beloved one. He was anxious to know whether she was still enchanted. Then he thought of the great victory he had won over this bold knight, and it was perhaps only pardonable if it aroused some conceit in his breast.

AS Don Quixote was bumping along on his thin Rocinante, he was dreaming about the return of the Knight of the Mirrors, who would give him news about his beloved. He was eager to find out if she was still under a spell. Then he recalled the great victory he had achieved over this daring knight, and it was probably justifiable if it stirred some pride in his heart.

But while Don Quixote was contemplating thus, the bachelor-knight kept bemoaning the fate he had brought upon himself. He had dubbed himself Knight at his own instigation, for the kindly and unselfish purpose of unseating and vanquishing Don Quixote in battle, thinking, of course, that that would be an easy matter to accomplish. It was for good reasons he had proposed that the vanquished one should place himself at the disposal of the victor. The bachelor, the curate, and the barber had conferred after Don Quixote's departure as to what to do, and when the bachelor Samson offered to go crusading and to bring back Don Quixote, the two gossips were pleased beyond words. A neighbor of Sancho's, Tom Cecial by name, was induced to become the squire of the knight Samson.

But while Don Quixote was lost in thought, the bachelor-knight kept lamenting the situation he had created for himself. He had declared himself a knight on his own initiative, with the kind and selfless goal of defeating Don Quixote in battle, thinking it would be an easy task. He had good reasons for suggesting that the defeated should submit to the winner. After Don Quixote left, the bachelor, the curate, and the barber discussed what to do, and when the bachelor Samson offered to go after Don Quixote and bring him back, the two gossips were thrilled. A neighbor of Sancho's, named Tom Cecial, was persuaded to become the squire for Knight Samson.

Both knight and squire were now contemplating in a sorry mood the disastrous outcome of their encounter with [Pg 187] the Knight of the Rueful Countenance. As they were staggering along on their decrepit mounts, the squire summed up the thoughts of his master Samson in this question: "I'd like to know now which is the madder, he who is so because he can not help it, or he who is so of his own choice?"

Both the knight and the squire were now sadly reflecting on the terrible outcome of their encounter with the Knight of the Rueful Countenance. As they stumbled along on their worn-out horses, the squire voiced his master's thoughts with this question: "I wonder which is more insane, the one who is crazy because he can't help it, or the one who chooses to be crazy?"

While the learned bachelor was thoroughly in accord with the good reason for asking such a question, he could not at the same time help acknowledging the fact that the thrashing he had received was paining him. The desire he had had when he started out looking for Don Quixote—to bring him back to his home and his wits—was now changed into a wild inner cry for revenge.

While the knowledgeable bachelor understood why such a question was being asked, he couldn't ignore that the beating he had taken was still hurting him. The desire he had when he set out to find Don Quixote—to bring him back home and to his senses—had now turned into a frantic wish for revenge.

At last some of the physical agony of the Knight of the Mirrors was stilled by a quack, whom they found in a town along the road. Tom Cecial, the squire for a day and a night, had been cured of knight-errantry and returned to his less venturesome occupation in his La Mancha village; but the thoughts of evilness would not leave his master, who stayed behind, bent on having his revenge.

At last, some of the physical pain of the Knight of the Mirrors was eased by a fake doctor they found in a town along the way. Tom Cecial, the squire for a day and a night, had given up on being a knight-errant and returned to his safer job in his La Mancha village; however, the thoughts of revenge wouldn't leave his master, who remained focused on getting even.


CHAPTER XVI

Of What Befell Don Quixote with a Discreet Gentleman of La Mancha

WHILE Don Quixote was contemplating his own greatness as a reviver of knight-errantry, the monstrous nose of the squire kept coming before Sancho in his fancies. When he told his master, Don Quixote asked [Pg 188] him whether he ever for a moment doubted that the knight of the Mirrors and his squire were anything but enchanted and made to appear like the two village friends of theirs. The idea that Samson, who was such a devoted friend of his, should be envious of his deeds in battle and have wanted to steal away honors from him as a knight, was too absurd; and with this he dismissed the subject.

WHILE Don Quixote was reflecting on his own greatness as a restorer of knight-errantry, the huge nose of the squire kept popping up in Sancho’s thoughts. When he mentioned it to his master, Don Quixote asked him if he ever doubted for a second that the knight of the Mirrors and his squire were anything but bewitched and made to look like the two village buddies of theirs. The thought that Samson, who was such a loyal friend, could be jealous of his accomplishments in battle and want to take credit away from him as a knight was just too ridiculous; with that, he dropped the topic.

While they were discussing these matters and the enchantment of the Lady Dulcinea, they were passed by a gentleman on horseback, and Don Quixote called to him and asked him politely whether he would not join company with them. The traveler accepted the knight's invitation, and both were soon scrutinizing each other. The gentleman, a man about fifty years of age, with handsome features, wondered at the strange appearance of Don Quixote; and when our knight saw his wonder, he told him why he was so attired and what he had set out to accomplish in the world. This confession drew forth still more astonishment on the gentleman's countenance, but he finally found words to ask whether he could really believe his own ears, for he had thought knight-errantry extinct. It was not long, however, before he realized that he was talking to a madman; and then Sancho Panza came under his observation, and he was deemed a simpleton.

While they were talking about these issues and the enchantment of Lady Dulcinea, a gentleman on horseback rode by them, and Don Quixote called out to him, asking politely if he'd like to join them. The traveler accepted the knight's invitation, and soon they were examining each other closely. The gentleman, a man around fifty years old with handsome features, was taken aback by Don Quixote's strange appearance; and when our knight noticed his surprise, he explained why he was dressed that way and what he aimed to achieve in the world. This revelation only increased the astonishment on the gentleman's face, but he eventually managed to ask if he could really trust his own ears, as he thought knight-errantry was a thing of the past. However, it didn't take long for him to realize he was speaking to a madman; then he noticed Sancho Panza, and he was considered a simpleton.

Don Quixote had asked the newcomer's name, and learned it was Don Diego de Miranda; and then the knight was curious to know what he did with his life. Whereupon Don Diego proceeded to tell his fellow-travelers of his tame and godly life in the country with his wife and children; and he pronounced in the course of his description [Pg 189] some very beautiful thoughts and principles, which so took Sancho's fancy that he jumped off Dapple, embraced the gentleman's leg, and began to kiss his feet in the most passionate and ardent way.

Don Quixote asked the newcomer his name and found out it was Don Diego de Miranda. The knight was curious about what he did for a living, so Don Diego began to share with his fellow travelers about his peaceful and virtuous life in the countryside with his wife and kids. During his account, he expressed some really beautiful ideas and principles, which so impressed Sancho that he jumped off Dapple, hugged the gentleman's leg, and started to kiss his feet in the most passionate way.

Astonished, the good gentleman inquired what all this display meant; and Sancho begged of him between his transports: "Let me kiss, for I think your Worship is the first saint in the saddle I ever saw!"

Astonished, the kind gentleman asked what all this display meant; and Sancho, in his excitement, begged of him: "Let me kiss you, because I think you're the first saint on horseback I've ever seen!"

Of course, the gentleman confessed his sinfulness to Sancho, who refused to change his opinion, in spite of his master's honest laughter. Then the gentleman told Don Quixote about his great pride, his son, who was eighteen years old, had been a student at Salamanca, and wrote divine poems. This immediately inspired Don Quixote to a discourse on poetry, in which he dwelt on the dishonor of commercializing this great gift of the gods. He finished his speech with the advice to Don Diego that he bring up his son to write discourses in which all vice was flayed and all sin chided and rebuked. Above all, he said, a poet must never let envy or personal grudge and hatred guide his pen. When the traveler heard Don Quixote speak in so wise and discerning manner, he was aghast; and he was entirely at a loss to know how to judge him. He was inclined to think that what he had taken for madness in him was nothing but eccentricity.

Of course, the gentleman admitted his wrongdoings to Sancho, who wouldn’t change his mind, despite his master's genuine laughter. Then the gentleman shared with Don Quixote about his pride, mentioning that his son, who was eighteen, had been a student at Salamanca and wrote beautiful poems. This immediately inspired Don Quixote to give a speech about poetry, where he emphasized the dishonor of commercializing such a divine gift. He concluded his talk by advising Don Diego to raise his son to write works that criticize and condemn all vice and wrongdoing. Above all, he insisted that a poet should never let envy or personal grudges influence his writing. When the traveler heard Don Quixote speak so wisely and insightfully, he was shocked and completely unsure how to assess him. He started to believe that what he had perceived as madness was actually just eccentricity.

But while Don Quixote was discoursing on poetry, Sancho, on seeing some shepherds, had fled to beg some ewe milk of them. When his master had finished his discourse, and the gentleman was silently considering his madness, Sancho suddenly heard himself called to battle. Having [Pg 190] in his possession his master's helmet, he spurred his donkey to further increase his efforts toward speed, and when he reached the valiant knight, he discovered the reason for the call: a cart bedecked with royal flags approaching on the road.

But while Don Quixote was talking about poetry, Sancho saw some shepherds and ran off to ask them for some ewe milk. Once his master finished his speech, the gentleman quietly pondered his madness, when suddenly Sancho heard himself called to battle. With his master's helmet in hand, he urged his donkey to go faster, and when he caught up with the brave knight, he found out why he was called: a cart decorated with royal flags was coming down the road.


CHAPTER XVII

Wherein Is Shown the Farthest and Highest Point Which the Unexampled Courage of Don Quixote Reached or Could Reach; Together with the Happily Achieved Adventure of the Lions

WHEN Sancho was summoned by his master, he had just bought some curds from the goatherd, and not knowing what to do with them at such a moment, he hastily deposited them in his master's helmet. The first thing Don Quixote did when Sancho had caught up with him, was to snatch the helmet from him, exclaiming that he had to make ready for what promised to be an exciting adventure; while all Sancho could see was the cart with the royal flags, probably carrying some treasure of the kings. As Sancho stood watching the cart, Don Quixote resolutely put on the helmet, which he proceeded to press down on his head in order to make it sit fast; but as he did so, the curds were squeezed, and the whey began to run down over his face, so that Don Quixote imagined that he had been taken with softening of the brain.

WHEN Sancho was called by his master, he had just bought some curds from the goatherd, and not sure what to do with them at that moment, he quickly placed them in his master's helmet. The first thing Don Quixote did when Sancho caught up with him was to grab the helmet from him, saying he had to prepare for what promised to be an exciting adventure; while all Sancho could see was the cart with the royal flags, probably carrying some treasure from the kings. As Sancho watched the cart, Don Quixote confidently put on the helmet and pressed it down on his head to secure it; but as he did this, the curds were squeezed, and the whey started to drip down over his face, making Don Quixote think he was losing his mind.

Sancho said nothing but gave his master something to [Pg 191] wipe his face with, and Don Quixote muttered that if this was sweat he was certain it was going to be a horrible adventure. As he was drying his face, he took off his helmet, and when he smelled the curds he turned to Sancho in great perturbation and accused him of having put them there, calling him a traitor and a scoundrel, and threatening to thrash him. But Sancho eyed his master innocently, and blamed it all on the devil or some enchanter, saying that his master might know that if he had had curds, he would have put them in his stomach and not in his master's helmet.

Sancho didn’t say a word but handed his master something to [Pg 191] wipe his face with. Don Quixote mumbled that if this was sweat, he was sure it was going to be a terrible adventure. While drying his face, he took off his helmet, and when he caught a whiff of the curds, he turned to Sancho in a panic and accused him of putting them there, calling him a traitor and a scoundrel, and threatening to beat him up. But Sancho looked at his master innocently and blamed it all on the devil or some enchanter, saying that if he had curds, he would have eaten them instead of putting them in his master’s helmet.

This was a convincing argument to the knight, who now busied himself with the cart, which had nearly reached them. He called out to the driver and a man on mule—back, who were the only attendants: "Whither are you going, brothers? What cart is this? What have you got in it? What flags are those?"

This was a convincing argument to the knight, who was now focused on the cart that was almost there. He shouted to the driver and a man on a mule, who were the only helpers: "Where are you headed, guys? What's in this cart? What are those flags?"

The man on the mule answered that the cart was his, that he was transporting a pair of enormous lions as a present from the Governor of Oran to His Majesty the King; that the flags were those of the King, and that therefore the property was royal property. He added that the lions were hungry, since they had not eaten anything that day, and that he was in great haste to reach a place where he could feed them.

The man on the mule said the cart was his, that he was carrying a pair of huge lions as a gift from the Governor of Oran to the King; that the flags were the King's, so the cart was royal property. He also mentioned that the lions were hungry because they hadn't eaten all day, and he was in a big hurry to find a place to feed them.

Here Don Quixote smiled a scornful, superior smile, and calmly told the keeper of the lions to open the cages and let out the beasts that they might learn who the courageous Don Quixote of La Mancha might be. When Sancho heard how mad his master was, he turned in sickly fear to [Pg 192] the traveling gentleman and begged him for God's sake to keep his master from having a combat with the lions. The gentleman asked Sancho whether he thought his master would really be so foolish as to do such a thing; and Sancho's firm and emphatic reply made the gentleman hasten to the knight's side in an attempt to reason with him. He was promptly reprimanded by Don Quixote, however, who told him sharply to mind his own business, and then threatened to pin the keeper to the cart with his lance if he did not open the cages and chase out the lions at once.

Here, Don Quixote wore a scornful, superior smile and calmly told the lion keeper to open the cages and let the beasts out so they could see who the brave Don Quixote of La Mancha was. When Sancho heard how crazy his master was, he turned in sickly fear to the traveling gentleman and begged him to please stop his master from fighting the lions. The gentleman asked Sancho if he really thought his master would be so foolish as to do that; Sancho's firm and emphatic reply made the gentleman rush to the knight's side to try to talk sense into him. However, Don Quixote quickly reprimanded him, telling him sharply to mind his own business, and then threatened to pin the keeper to the cart with his lance if he didn't open the cages and let the lions out immediately.

There was an indescribable consternation and confusion. The driver pleaded with Don Quixote on his knees, and when they all saw that he was determined to meet with the lions in combat, they began to pick up their belongings and run away into safety. Sancho and the gentleman made still another attempt to bring him to his senses, but all their pleas were in vain. Sancho left his master with the tears falling down his cheeks, and Don Quixote ordered the gentleman to speed away on his flea-bitten mare as fast as he could, if he was afraid to be bitten by the lions.

There was an indescribable sense of panic and confusion. The driver begged Don Quixote on his knees, and when everyone realized he was set on confronting the lions, they started gathering their things and running to safety. Sancho and the gentleman tried once more to reason with him, but all their attempts were useless. Sancho walked away from his master, tears streaming down his face, while Don Quixote told the gentleman to hurry off on his worn-out mare as fast as he could, if he was scared of being attacked by the lions.

Then Don Quixote decided it might be better to fight on foot, as he was afraid that his Rocinante might be frightened on seeing the beasts; so, sword in hand, he bravely advanced towards the cage. The keeper timidly opened the doors of the first cage, and a male lion of tremendous size, stretching himself leisurely, put his claws through the opening; then he yawned sleepily, and after some deliberation began to lick his eyes and face with his long, fierce tongue. Having thus washed his dirty face, he put his head out of the cage and stood gazing into space [Pg 193] with a ferocious look in his eyes, which resembled glowing coals. Not even seeming surprised at the sight of the valiant knight, he then had the audacity to turn his back on our hero, and calmly and proudly lay down, with his hindquarters under Don Quixote's very nose.

Then Don Quixote thought it might be better to fight on foot since he was worried that his Rocinante might get scared by the animals. So, sword in hand, he bravely walked toward the cage. The keeper nervously opened the door of the first cage, and a massive male lion, stretching leisurely, stuck his claws through the opening. He then yawned sleepily, and after some thought, started licking his eyes and face with his long, fierce tongue. After cleaning his dirty face, he poked his head out of the cage and stared into the distance with a fierce look in his eyes, like glowing coals. Not even seeming surprised at the sight of the brave knight, he had the nerve to turn his back on our hero and calmly lay down, with his backside right under Don Quixote's nose.

Such unheard-of scorn angered the knight, who commanded the keeper to take a stick and poke the beast out of the cage; but here he met with unyielding obstinacy, for this the man refused to do under any circumstances, saying that the first one to be chewed to pieces, if he did that, would be himself. Then he began to praise and flatter Don Quixote's courage which, he said, by this feat had been unequaled in the world. His adversary the lion, he said, had proven by his very action that he considered Don Quixote a superior foe; and when the keeper promised to give Don Quixote a certificate to the effect that the lion had been challenged in true knight errant fashion and refused to give battle, Don Quixote was soothed, and bade the keeper shut the doors to the cage and recall the fugitives that they might hear from the keeper's lips the true account of his remarkable achievement.

Such unprecedented scorn angered the knight, who ordered the keeper to grab a stick and poke the beast out of the cage; but here he faced strong resistance, as the man refused to do it under any circumstances, saying that the first one to be shredded to pieces would be him. Then he began to compliment and flatter Don Quixote's bravery, which, he claimed, had been unmatched in the world by this act. His opponent, the lion, he said, had shown by his very actions that he viewed Don Quixote as a worthy adversary; and when the keeper promised to give Don Quixote a certificate stating that the lion had been challenged in true knight-errant style and had refused to fight, Don Quixote felt reassured and instructed the keeper to close the cage doors and call back the onlookers so they could hear from the keeper himself the true account of his incredible achievement.

The first thing Don Quixote did when Sancho had joined him was to order him to give two gold crowns to the driver and the keeper for lost time; but before Sancho carried out his master's command he was anxious to know whether the lions were dead or alive. Whereupon the keeper related how the valiant knight had single handed dared the lions to come out of their cage, and how they meekly and cowardly had refused at the sight of so bold a warrior; and he embellished his story with numerous [Pg 194] little details—in anticipation of the gold crown—and added that when he returned to Madrid he would not fail to inform the King of his marvelous exploit.

The first thing Don Quixote did when Sancho joined him was to tell him to give two gold crowns to the driver and the keeper for the lost time. But before Sancho could follow his master's order, he wanted to know if the lions were dead or alive. So the keeper shared how the brave knight had boldly challenged the lions to come out of their cage, and how they had meekly and cowardly refused to face such a fearless warrior. He added a bunch of little details—hoping for the gold crown—and mentioned that when he went back to Madrid, he would be sure to tell the King about this amazing story. [Pg 194]

When Don Quixote heard this, his heart beat faster, and he told the keeper that if the King should happen to ask who performed this great deed, to say it was the Knight of the Lions, since he had decided to adopt this name hereafter.

When Don Quixote heard this, his heart raced, and he told the keeper that if the King happened to ask who accomplished this great deed, to say it was the Knight of the Lions, since he had decided to use this name from now on.

So the cart proceeded toward the capital, and Don Quixote, Sancho, and the traveling gentleman went their way. Don Diego bade them make haste that they might reach his village before nightfall, and he asked Don Quixote to spend the night at his house and rest after his exertions—an invitation that the knight accepted with profuse thanks.

So the cart moved toward the capital, and Don Quixote, Sancho, and the traveling gentleman continued on their path. Don Diego urged them to hurry so they could get to his village before dark, and he invited Don Quixote to stay the night at his home and relax after his efforts—an invitation the knight accepted with many thanks.


CHAPTER XVIII

Of What Happened to Don Quixote in the Castle or House of the Knight of the Green Coat, Together with Other Matters out of the Common

THE Knight of the Green Coat—which was the name Don Quixote had conferred on his host—reached his house in the afternoon, and he was welcomed home by his wife and son, who could not help staring in amazement at the strange figure Don Quixote presented. The latter advanced to the wife and kissed her virtuously on the hand, after having first asked her permission; and she received him courteously, as did the son also. Then he [Pg 195] was escorted into the house, and Sancho helped him to remove his armor and to wash him clean of the curds, which had run down his face and his neck. This being done, Don Quixote joined father and son in another room.

THE Knight of the Green Coat—which was the name Don Quixote had given to his host—got home in the afternoon, where he was greeted by his wife and son, who couldn’t help but stare in surprise at the unusual figure Don Quixote presented. He approached the wife and kissed her hand politely after asking for her permission first; she received him graciously, just like the son did. Then he [Pg 195] was led into the house, and Sancho helped him take off his armor and wash away the curds that had dripped down his face and neck. Once that was done, Don Quixote joined the father and son in another room.

It was not long before Don Lorenzo, the young son, was perplexed by the knight's behavior and conversation, and at his first opportunity he confided this perplexity to his father. Don Diego told him that he himself was at his wit's end, for he had heard him speak as sensibly as he ever heard any man speak; then again, he said, he had seen him perform the most unbelievable acts of madness. Don Lorenzo again engaged in conversation with Don Quixote, who told the young man that he had already learned from his father of his great talents as a poet. The youth modestly disclaimed being entitled to be called a great poet; and the absence of conceit in one of this calling pleased the knight greatly. And he went on, discoursing on matters pertaining to education, on universities, and degrees, and his opinions seemed to Don Lorenzo so authoritative and advanced that he was at a loss to know what to conclude, until Don Quixote suddenly began to talk about the science of knight-errantry, which he maintained surpassed all other sciences.

It wasn't long before Don Lorenzo, the young son, became confused by the knight's behavior and conversation, and at the first opportunity, he shared this confusion with his father. Don Diego admitted that he was just as puzzled, because he had heard the knight speak as sensibly as he had ever heard anyone, yet he had also seen him perform the most outrageous acts of madness. Don Lorenzo engaged in conversation with Don Quixote again, who mentioned that he had already heard from his father about the young man's great talent as a poet. The young man modestly downplayed being called a great poet; his lack of arrogance pleased the knight greatly. He proceeded to discuss topics related to education, universities, and degrees, and his opinions struck Don Lorenzo as so authoritative and progressive that he didn't know what to make of it, until Don Quixote suddenly started talking about the science of knight-errantry, which he insisted was superior to all other sciences.

Don Lorenzo interrupted, of course, saying that he had never heard of any such science; he had read books of chivalry but had never believed that any knights had existed, he said. When Don Quixote heard the youth speak such blasphemy, he prayed that heaven should deliver him from his false illusions as to the existence of knight-errantry! Just then dinner was served. [Pg 196]

Don Lorenzo interrupted, of course, saying that he had never heard of any such science; he had read books about knights but never believed that any knights actually existed, he said. When Don Quixote heard the young man speak such blasphemy, he prayed that heaven would free him from his misguided beliefs about the existence of knight-errantry! Just then, dinner was served. [Pg 196]

While they were eating, Don Quixote asked Don Lorenzo to repeat some of his verses to him, and the youth read some of his glosses and sonnets. Don Quixote was extremely impressed with them, and he praised the youth's rare gift in eloquent language. This praise—although he knew it to come from a madman—so pleased Don Lorenzo's father that he begged Don Quixote to remain; and for four days the knight was entertained by Don Diego.

While they were eating, Don Quixote asked Don Lorenzo to share some of his verses again, and the young man read some of his comments and sonnets. Don Quixote was very impressed by them and praised the young man's exceptional talent in eloquent terms. This praise—though he knew it was from a madman—made Don Lorenzo's father so happy that he asked Don Quixote to stay; and for four days, the knight was hosted by Don Diego.

Then Don Quixote felt it his duty to break away from luxury and idleness in order to live up to the laws of knight-errantry, Sancho left with a sigh, and a tear in his eye, for never in his life had he lived so well. However, he saw to it that he was well provisioned before they departed. Don Quixote was anxious to see the poet turn knight-errant, he said, but since his parents no doubt would not permit him to give up his chosen work he thought it best not to attempt to sway them in their convictions. And so he and his squire took leave with many courtesies, while Don Diego and his family were pitying the poor demented knight in their hearts and still were wondering at his nonsense.

Then Don Quixote felt it was necessary to break away from comfort and laziness to live according to the code of chivalry. Sancho left with a sigh and a tear in his eye, because he had never lived so well. However, he made sure they had enough supplies before they set off. Don Quixote was eager to see the poet become a knight-errant, he thought, but since his parents probably wouldn’t allow him to abandon his current path, he decided it was best not to try to change their minds. So he and his squire said their goodbyes with many polite gestures, while Don Diego and his family felt sympathy for the poor, deluded knight in their hearts and continued to be baffled by his absurdity.


CHAPTER XIX

In Which Is Related the Adventure of the Enamored Shepherd, Together with Other Truly Droll Incidents

THEY had traveled but a short time when they met some students and peasants on mule—back, and since they were going in the same direction Don Quixote offered [Pg 197] them his protection if they would only make the pace of their young mules conform with that of his steed and Dapple. They agreed to do so, and it was not long ere the Knight of the Lions had introduced himself to his companions, and told them of his revival. The students were quick to perceive that he was demented; but not so the peasants, who could make neither head nor tail of what he said, and ascribed this to their own ignorance.

THEY had been traveling for a short while when they ran into some students and peasants on mules. Since they were headed in the same direction, Don Quixote offered them his protection if they would just match the pace of their young mules with that of his horse and Dapple. They agreed, and it wasn't long before the Knight of the Lions had introduced himself to his new companions and shared the story of his revival. The students quickly realized that he was out of his mind, but the peasants, who couldn't understand anything he was saying, attributed this to their own lack of knowledge.

The students invited the knight to come with them to a wedding-feast, and immediately he asked which prince was to be married without his knowing it. The students informed him that it was not any prince's wedding, but that of a rich farmer by the name of Camacho, who was marrying the fair Quiteria, daughter of a rich man in their neighborhood. Quiteria, they said, was in love with one Basilio, a poor young shepherd, whom her father had sent away in anger from his house, forbidding him ever to see his daughter again. As a result of this banishment and his being separated from his love, he had now gone mad.

The students invited the knight to join them for a wedding feast, and he immediately asked which prince was getting married without his knowledge. The students told him it wasn't a prince's wedding but that of a wealthy farmer named Camacho, who was marrying the beautiful Quiteria, the daughter of a rich man from their neighborhood. They explained that Quiteria was in love with a poor young shepherd named Basilio, whom her father had angrily sent away from their home, forbidding him to see his daughter again. As a result of this banishment and being separated from his love, he had now gone crazy.

Don Quixote, having listened attentively to the students' story, began a discourse on love and marriage. Now and then Sancho interrupted him with strings of proverbs; this would infuriate his master by making him deviate from his subject. Finally Don Quixote retaliated by attacking and criticising Sancho's language, which he said was atrocious.

Don Quixote, after paying close attention to the students' story, started talking about love and marriage. Every so often, Sancho interrupted him with a bunch of proverbs, which drove his master mad because it distracted him from his topic. Eventually, Don Quixote struck back by criticizing Sancho's way of speaking, saying it was terrible.

Soon their arguments were taken up by the students. One of them stood by Sancho; the other one took Don Quixote's point of view. Having once been involved, [Pg 198] they argued first on one subject, then on another, until at last foils and the art of fencing became the subject. It so happened that one of them was carrying his foils with him, and he suggested that they settle their argument then and there. They did so under Don Quixote's chivalrous supervision, and when the engagement had come to an end, the one who had challenged was so worn and torn that Sancho felt sorry for him and went over to console him; at the same time he felt it his duty to advise him never again to fence, although he did not advise him against wrestling or throwing the bar, for he was strong enough for that, he thought. Whereupon the challenger rose and embraced his adversary, and after that they were better friends than ever.

Soon the students picked up their arguments. One of them supported Sancho, while the other took Don Quixote's side. Once they got started, [Pg 198] they debated various topics, eventually landing on fencing. It happened that one of them had his foils with him and suggested they resolve their disagreement right then and there. They did so under Don Quixote's noble supervision, and when the match ended, the challenger was so battered that Sancho felt pity for him and went over to comfort him. At the same time, he felt it was his duty to advise him never to fence again, although he didn't discourage him from wrestling or throwing the bar, since he thought he was strong enough for that. The challenger then got up and embraced his opponent, and after that, they were closer friends than ever.

They pursued their journey, and before long it grew dark. Soon afterwards they heard the musicians at the wedding, and saw the preparations that were being made for it. Here Don Quixote took leave of the students and the peasants, saying that being a knight-errant, he was obliged to give up the comfort of a bed, and would go to sleep in the woods or some lonely field. They did their best to persuade him to accept their hospitality—aided and abetted by the comfort-loving Sancho—but all remonstrances were in vain, much to Sancho's regret. [Pg 199]

They continued on their journey, and soon it got dark. Not long after that, they heard the musicians at the wedding and saw the preparations for it. At this point, Don Quixote said goodbye to the students and the peasants, explaining that as a knight-errant, he had to give up the comfort of a bed and would prefer to sleep in the woods or some lonely field. They all tried to convince him to accept their hospitality—Sancho, who loved comfort, joined in to help persuade him—but none of their arguments worked, much to Sancho's disappointment. [Pg 199]


CHAPTER XX

Wherein an Account Is Given of the Wedding of Camacho the Rich, Together with the Incident of Basilio the Poor

SANCHO was still snoring when his master was up and awake the next morning. After having soliloquized at length before the sleeping squire, he awoke him by ticking him with his lance. Sancho smelled the preparations for the wedding-feast, and at once was wide awake. His master asked him to hasten and come along, and they set off on their mounts and soon arrived at the place where the wedding was to be celebrated. They found there an arcade erected and through this they entered. There was being cooked and prepared enough food to feed every one in town, and when Sancho saw all the good things, his mouth began to water, and he could hardly control himself. As a matter of fact, he soon succumbed to his temptations and he did not have to beg twice, for the cooks told him that this was a day on which no one was to go hungry, that being the wish of the rich Camacho, and they even told him to keep the spoon. So Sancho skimmed all the pots to his heart's content.

SANCHO was still snoring when his master got up and woke up the next morning. After talking to himself for a while in front of the sleeping squire, he woke him up by poking him with his lance. Sancho caught a whiff of the wedding feast preparations and immediately woke up. His master told him to hurry up and come along, and they set off on their mounts, quickly arriving at the venue for the wedding. They found an archway set up, and through this, they entered. There was enough food being cooked and prepared to feed everyone in town, and when Sancho saw all the delicious dishes, his mouth started to water, and he could barely hold back. In fact, he soon gave in to his cravings, and he didn’t need to ask twice, as the cooks informed him that today was a day when no one would go hungry, according to the wishes of the wealthy Camacho, and they even told him to keep the spoon. So, Sancho happily skimmed all the pots to his heart's content.

Soon the musicians and dancers arrived, and these performed an allegorical dance and play, but nothing interested Sancho as much as the skimmings, to which he returned after having finished an argument with his master [Pg 200] about the relative qualities of Camacho the Rich and the poor Basilio; Camacho being the better provider, Sancho was decidedly in favor of him.

Soon the musicians and dancers showed up, and they put on an allegorical dance and play, but nothing captured Sancho's attention as much as the leftovers, which he went back to after wrapping up a debate with his master about the merits of Camacho the Rich versus the poor Basilio; since Camacho was the better provider, Sancho was definitely on his side. [Pg 200]


CHAPTER XXI

In Which Camacho's Wedding Is Continued, with Other Delightful Incidents

SANCHO was still eating when suddenly loud exclamations and shouts were heard; and when he and Don Quixote looked to see what was the matter, they found that the bride and the bridegroom, accompanied by the priest and their relatives, were entering the arcade. They proceeded to a platform, on which they took places, and all noticed that the bride looked very pale. Scarcely had the bridal party seated themselves, when a voice was heard from behind them, calling out: "Wait a little, ye, as inconsiderate as ye are hasty!"

SANCHO was still eating when suddenly loud shouts and exclamations filled the air. When he and Don Quixote looked to see what was happening, they saw the bride and groom entering the arcade, accompanied by the priest and their families. They made their way to a platform and took their seats, and everyone noticed that the bride looked very pale. Hardly had the wedding party settled down when a voice rang out from behind them: "Hold on a second, you who are as reckless as you are quick!"

All turned and perceived Basilio, poorly clad, with a crown of cypress on his head, and carrying a staff in his hand. The staff had a sharp end, and this he buried deep in the ground; then, pale and trembling, he turned to the fair Quiteria and accused her of marrying Camacho because of his wealth, though she knew she loved no one but himself, Basilio, who was poor, and, therefore, helpless. As he nevertheless wished them happiness, he would now remove the last obstacle to this end.

Everyone turned and saw Basilio, dressed in ragged clothes, wearing a crown of cypress on his head and holding a staff. The staff had a sharp point, which he drove deeply into the ground. Then, pale and shaking, he faced the beautiful Quiteria and accused her of marrying Camacho for his money, even though she knew she loved no one but him, Basilio, who was poor and therefore powerless. Despite this, he wished them happiness and decided to remove the final barrier to that happiness.

So saying, Basilio pulled from the staff he carried and [Pg 201] which served as a sheath, a rapier, upon which in another instant he had thrown himself. There he lay on the ground, bleeding profusely, the point of the blade appearing through his back, when his many friends came running to give him aid. Don Quixote lifted up his head, and they found that he was still breathing. Some one suggested that they pull out the blade, but the priest warned them not to do that before the poor man had been given the sacrament, as the moment the rapier was removed, death would follow.

So saying, Basilio pulled out the rapier from the staff he was carrying, [Pg 201] which acted as a sheath, and threw himself on it. There he lay on the ground, bleeding heavily, the tip of the blade sticking out of his back, when his many friends came running to help him. Don Quixote lifted his head, and they realized he was still breathing. Someone suggested they pull out the blade, but the priest warned them not to do that before the poor man received the sacrament, as pulling out the rapier would lead to his death.

Just then Basilio was heard to say in a weak voice that if he could only be joined to his beloved one, he would die happy. The priest cautioned him to think of his soul rather than of his body in these last moments of his, but Basilio interrupted him stubbornly and said he would not confess until this had been done. When Don Quixote heard the dying man implore the priest to carry out his wish, he, too, besought him, and added that under the circumstances Señor Camacho could have nothing against marrying a widow of a man who had died so gallantly and honorably as Basilio. Camacho heard all this, and when Basilio's friends at the same time entreated him to think of the poor man's soul, he consented; and as Quiteria, too, was compassionate, the priest united them as man and wife, gave them his blessing with tears in his eyes, and hoped that Heaven would receive the soul of the wedded man.

Just then, Basilio was heard saying in a weak voice that if he could just be united with his beloved, he would die happy. The priest urged him to think about his soul rather than his body in these final moments, but Basilio stubbornly interrupted him, saying he wouldn’t confess until that was done. When Don Quixote heard the dying man begging the priest to fulfill his wish, he also pleaded with him, adding that under the circumstances, Señor Camacho would have no reason to refuse marrying the widow of a man who had died so gallantly and honorably as Basilio. Camacho heard all of this, and when Basilio's friends simultaneously urged him to think of the poor man's soul, he agreed; and since Quiteria was also compassionate, the priest united them as husband and wife, blessed them with tears in his eyes, and hoped that Heaven would welcome the soul of the newlywed man.

But the instant the ceremony was at an end, the suicide jumped to his feet as lightly as a deer. Some began to shout that a miracle had been performed. But Basilio was [Pg 202] honest and confessed that he had played a trick; and, indeed, it seemed as if the whole thing had been planned by the two lovers, for Quiteria said that if the marriage was not valid, she would now confirm it anew. Some of Camacho's friends became violent and threatened the life of Basilio, but the valiant Don Quixote did not abandon his new-found friend; he kept them all at a distance with his lance and his sword.

But the moment the ceremony ended, the groom jumped to his feet as lightly as a deer. Some people started shouting that a miracle had happened. But Basilio was [Pg 202] honest and admitted he had pulled a prank; and, in fact, it seemed like the whole thing had been orchestrated by the two lovers, as Quiteria declared that if the marriage wasn't valid, she would confirm it right then. Some of Camacho's friends got aggressive and threatened Basilio's life, but the brave Don Quixote didn't leave his new friend behind; he kept them all at bay with his lance and sword.

In the meantime Sancho was guarding a spot that to his mind was the most important one there, namely where the wine-jars were standing.

In the meantime, Sancho was keeping watch over a spot that he thought was the most important one there, specifically where the wine jars were sitting.

When Don Quixote had made himself respected by the followers of the rich Camacho, he addressed them on the subject of love and war, and held forth to them that all means to an end in these two games were justifiable, as long as no disgrace was brought on the object of one's love. Then he threatened to thrash any one who attempted to separate whom God now had joined; and they were all awed by his resolute language, not knowing who he was. Camacho showed that he was of good mettle, however, for he invited all to remain and have a merry time, and let the feast go on as if nothing had happened.

When Don Quixote had earned the respect of the followers of the wealthy Camacho, he spoke to them about love and war. He told them that any means used to achieve an end in these two pursuits were acceptable, as long as it didn't bring disgrace to the one they loved. Then he warned that he would beat anyone who tried to separate those whom God had joined together. They were all intimidated by his determined words, not knowing who he was. Camacho, however, showed his strength of character by inviting everyone to stay and enjoy themselves, insisting that the celebration continue as if nothing had happened.

But Basilio was proud, and so were his friends, and they preferred to withdraw to Basilio's village. They were accompanied by Don Quixote, whom they had invited as a special guest of honor because of his stout defense of Basilio; and Sancho, of course, had to trail along, much to his disgust, for he had looked forward to stilling his hunger for days to come on the remnants of the rich man's wedding-feast. As he was rocking to and fro in his seat on his [Pg 203] faithful Dapple, he was contemplating with a surly and melancholy countenance a glorious, but now past day.

But Basilio was proud, and so were his friends, and they chose to head back to Basilio's village. They were joined by Don Quixote, whom they had invited as a special guest of honor because of his strong support for Basilio; and Sancho, of course, had to tag along, much to his annoyance, since he had been looking forward to indulging in the leftovers from the rich man's wedding feast for days to come. As he rocked back and forth in his seat on his [Pg 203] faithful Dapple, he was glumly reflecting on a glorious day that was now behind them.


CHAPTER XXII

Wherein Is Related the Grand Adventure of the Cave of Montesinos in the Heart of La Mancha, Which the Valiant Don Quixote Brought to a Happy Termination

DON QUIXOTE and Sancho remained at the home of the newly married couple for three days. Before the knight took leave of Basilio and Quiteria, he discoursed at length on love and matrimony: a discourse that Sancho seemed to take more to heart than they did, for when his master had finished he was heard muttering that he wished he had had such advice before marrying his wife.

DON QUIXOTE and Sancho stayed at the home of the newlywed couple for three days. Before the knight said goodbye to Basilio and Quiteria, he talked at length about love and marriage: a discussion that Sancho seemed to take more seriously than they did, because when his master finished, he was heard mumbling that he wished he had received such advice before marrying his wife.

"Is thy Teresa so bad then, Sancho?" asked Don Quixote.

"Is Teresa really that bad, Sancho?" asked Don Quixote.

"She is not very bad," replied the downtrodden squire, "but she is not very good; at least she is not as good as I could wish."

"She's not that bad," replied the downcast squire, "but she's not that great either; at least she's not as great as I'd like her to be."

"Thou dost wrong, Sancho, to speak ill of thy wife," admonished his master; "for after all she is the mother of thy children."

"You're wrong, Sancho, to speak poorly of your wife," his master warned; "because after all, she is the mother of your children."

And to this the squire answered: "We are quits, for she speaks ill of me whenever she takes it into her head, especially when she is jealous; and Satan himself could not put up with her then."

And to this the squire replied, "We're even, because she talks trash about me whenever she feels like it, especially when she's jealous; and even the devil himself couldn't handle her at those times."

Having exchanged these thoughts with his squire, Don [Pg 204] Quixote decided it was time to take to the open again, and he begged one of the students who had invited him to the wedding to find him a guide to take him to the cave of Montesinos. The student provided him with a cousin of his own, a young scholar who was very much interested in tales of chivalry; and, followed by the earnest prayers of those they left behind, the three set out for the famous cave.

Having shared these thoughts with his squire, Don [Pg 204] Quixote decided it was time to venture out again, and he asked one of the students who had invited him to the wedding to find a guide to take him to the cave of Montesinos. The student provided him with a cousin of his, a young scholar who was very interested in stories of chivalry; and, with the heartfelt prayers of those they left behind, the three set off for the famous cave.

Don Quixote wanted the scholar to tell him all about himself, and when he learned, he had had books printed which were inscribed to princes, he wanted to know what kind of books they were. When he mentioned that he was writing one now that was to deal with the invention of customs and things, Sancho became interested and thrust this question at him, which he answered himself: "Tell me, Señor—and God give you luck in printing your books!—who was the first man that scratched his head? For to my thinking it must have been our father Adam."

Don Quixote wanted the scholar to share everything about himself, and when he found out that the scholar had printed books dedicated to princes, he became curious about what kind of books they were. When the scholar mentioned that he was currently writing one about the invention of customs and such, Sancho was intrigued and asked him a question, which the scholar answered himself: "Tell me, sir—and may God help you with your books!—who was the first person to scratch his head? Because I think it must have been our father Adam."

Glad to have had his supposition corroborated by so great an authority as an author of books, Sancho was encouraged to ask numerous other questions of the same caliber; and this helped to make the time seem short. When night fell they had reached a little village, from where it was only a very short distance to the cave.

Glad to have his assumption confirmed by such a big name like a book author, Sancho felt encouraged to ask many more questions of the same kind; this made the time fly by. When night arrived, they reached a small village, from where it was just a short distance to the cave.

As Don Quixote was intent on discovering the cave's inmost secrets, he provided himself with a hundred fathoms of rope, and the following afternoon he was at the cavern, ready for the hazardous undertaking. Don Quixote was tied to the end of the rope, and all the while Sancho was admonishing him not to bury himself alive in the bottomless pit, telling him that he had no business being an explorer [Pg 205] anyway. Before being lowered into the depths, Don Quixote commended himself to his Lady Dulcinea and sent up a prayer to Heaven on bended knees.

As Don Quixote focused on uncovering the cave's deepest secrets, he equipped himself with a hundred fathoms of rope, and the next afternoon, he arrived at the cavern, ready for the risky adventure. Don Quixote was tied to the end of the rope while Sancho kept warning him not to get himself buried alive in the bottomless pit, telling him that he had no business being an explorer [Pg 205] anyway. Before being lowered into the depths, Don Quixote dedicated himself to his Lady Dulcinea and offered a prayer to Heaven on his knees.

In order to enter the cave, he had to cut his way through the brush, and as he commenced to swing his sword, a whole city of crows and bats flew against him and knocked him to the ground. Sancho crossed himself and kept up his vigilance over his master to the last. Finally he saw him disappear in the coal-black depths, and then he called on all the saints he knew by name to protect the flower and cream of knight-errantry, the dare-devil of the earth, the heart of steel and the arm of brass.

To get into the cave, he had to hack his way through the underbrush, and as he started swinging his sword, a whole swarm of crows and bats swooped down on him and knocked him to the ground. Sancho crossed himself and stayed alert for his master until the end. Eventually, he saw him vanish into the pitch-black depths, and then he called on all the saints he could think of to protect the finest example of knight-errantry, the bravest of them all, the one with a heart of steel and an iron arm.

At last Sancho and the scholar had given Don Quixote all the hundred fathoms of the rope, and then they got no more replies to their calls. They waited for half an hour, and then they were afraid that the knight was dead and decided to haul him up, Sancho weeping bitterly all the while. But when Sancho saw his master coming up, he could not restrain himself from being hopeful of a miracle, and he called out gleefully: "Welcome back, Señor, for we had begun to think you were going to stop there to found a family."

At last, Sancho and the scholar had given Don Quixote all the hundred fathoms of rope, and after that, they didn’t get any more responses to their calls. They waited for half an hour and then got worried that the knight was dead, so they decided to haul him up, with Sancho crying bitterly the whole time. But when Sancho saw his master coming up, he couldn’t help but feel hopeful for a miracle and called out joyfully, “Welcome back, Señor! We were starting to think you were planning to stay down there to start a family.”

Don Quixote did not move, however, and they laid him on the ground and found he was fast asleep. When he came to, he was in an exalted state. He raised his eyes toward Heaven, and asked God to forgive them for having taken him away from such a glorious and spectacular pleasure. But Sancho was curious to know what he had seen down there in Hell, and he interrupted and asked the question. [Pg 206]

Don Quixote didn't move, though, so they laid him on the ground and realized he was fast asleep. When he woke up, he was in a really high spirits. He looked up at Heaven and asked God to forgive them for pulling him away from such glorious and spectacular joy. But Sancho was curious about what he had seen down there in Hell, so he interrupted and asked the question. [Pg 206]

"Hell!" cried Don Quixote. "Call it by no such name, for it does not deserve it."

"Hell!" shouted Don Quixote. "Don't call it that, because it doesn't deserve the name."

Then he asked for something to eat, and Sancho put before him an abundance of food, since he said he was very hungry. When he had eaten, he asked them to sit still and listen to his story.

Then he asked for something to eat, and Sancho brought him a lot of food, since he said he was really hungry. After he finished eating, he asked them to sit quietly and listen to his story.


CHAPTER XXIII

Of the Wonderful Things the Incomparable Don Quixote Said He Saw in the Profound Cave of Montesinos, the Impossibility and Magnitude of Which Cause This Adventure to Be Apocryphal

WHEN he was being hoisted down, Don Quixote said, he had suddenly landed on a precipice which led to a cave within the cave, large enough to hold a team of mules and a cart. There, he claimed, he fell asleep, only to wake and find himself in a beautiful field, from where he had gone on a regular sightseeing trip, visiting the most wonderful castles and palaces, and meeting with the most exalted personages. Among these was no other than the enchanted Montesinos himself. He had taken Don Quixote into his own palace, built of crystal and alabaster, and shown him the tomb of his friend Durandarte, who lay there in his enchantment, with his hairy hand over his heart. Don Quixote had asked whether it were indeed true that he, Montesinos, had cut out the heart of his dead friend, as [Pg 207] the story had told, and brought it to his Lady Belerma, and Montesinos had nodded in affirmation.

WHEN he was being lowered down, Don Quixote said he suddenly found himself on a cliff that led to a cave within a cave, large enough to hold a team of mules and a cart. There, he claimed he fell asleep, only to wake up and find himself in a beautiful field, from which he set off on a regular sightseeing tour, visiting the most amazing castles and palaces, and meeting the most distinguished individuals. Among these was none other than the enchanted Montesinos himself. He had taken Don Quixote into his own palace, made of crystal and alabaster, and showed him the tomb of his friend Durandarte, who lay there in his enchantment, with his hairy hand over his heart. Don Quixote had asked whether it was true that Montesinos had cut out the heart of his dead friend, as [Pg 207] the story had said, and Montesinos had nodded in agreement.

Suddenly they had heard the poor dead knight moan in the most heartrending way, and he had asked Montesinos again and again whether he had done as he had bade him and carried his heart to his Lady Belerma in France. Montesinos had fallen on his knees and had assured his cousin with tearful eyes that as soon as he had died he had cut out his heart with a poniard, dried it with a lace handkerchief as well as he could, and then departed to see his Lady. At the first village he had come to in France, he had stopped to sprinkle some salt on it to keep it fresh, and had given it to the Lady Belerma, who was now also enchanted in this cave.

Suddenly, they heard the poor dead knight moan in the most heartbreaking way, and he kept asking Montesinos over and over if he had done what he asked and taken his heart to his Lady Belerma in France. Montesinos fell to his knees and tearfully assured his cousin that as soon as he had died, he had cut out his heart with a dagger, dried it with a lace handkerchief as best he could, and then set off to see his Lady. In the first village he reached in France, he paused to sprinkle some salt on it to keep it fresh and handed it to Lady Belerma, who was now also enchanted in this cave.

Don Quixote continued his tale. The enchanter, the sage Merlin, so Montesinos had said, had prophesied that he, Don Quixote, reviver of knight-errantry, was to be the one to disenchant them all. He and Montesinos had almost come to blows, however, when the latter had inferred that during her enchantment the Lady Belerma had developed large circles under her eyes, and that if it had not been for these her beauty would have surpassed even that of the famous Lady Dulcinea of El Toboso. But Montesinos was courteous enough to apologize and acknowledge the truth of the proverb which says that comparisons are odious.

Don Quixote kept telling his story. The enchanter, the wise Merlin, as Montesinos had claimed, had predicted that he, Don Quixote, the restorer of knight-errantry, would be the one to free them all from their enchantment. However, he and Montesinos nearly came to blows when Montesinos suggested that during her enchantment, Lady Belerma had developed dark circles under her eyes, and that if it weren't for those, her beauty would have even surpassed that of the famed Lady Dulcinea of El Toboso. But Montesinos was polite enough to apologize and admit the truth of the saying that comparisons are unpleasant.

Sancho and the young author of books had some difficulty in persuading themselves that all these things had happened in so short a time, for Don Quixote had only been gone about an hour; but Don Quixote, hearing this, [Pg 208] insisted that he had been absent three days and three nights. Then he proceeded to tell how he had felt no hunger whatever, that none down there ever ate, and that the enchanted never slept; he admitted, however, that their nails, hair, and beards grew.

Sancho and the young author had some trouble believing that all these events had taken place in such a short time since Don Quixote had only been gone for about an hour. But Don Quixote, overhearing this, [Pg 208] insisted that he had been away for three days and three nights. He then went on to explain that he hadn't felt any hunger at all, that no one down there ever ate, and that the enchanted never slept; he did, however, admit that their nails, hair, and beards kept growing.

When Sancho heard all this he asked to be forgiven by God for saying he thought his master was lying, but the next moment he had retracted it, and when his master asked what he really meant, he said he did not know.

When Sancho heard all this, he asked God to forgive him for thinking his master was lying, but the next moment he took it back, and when his master asked what he really meant, he said he didn’t know.

There was one thing that had happened to our knight in the cave, which caused him infinite pain; he had met one of the enchanted ladies-in-waiting to his Lady Dulcinea, and she had told him in confidence that his beloved one wanted to borrow six reals on a petticoat which she had bought. He gave her all that he had, which amounted to only four reals, and she gave him in exchange her lady's blessing, saying that with it went many kisses. As she left him, he said, she had cut a caper and had sprung fully two yards into the air.

There was one thing that happened to our knight in the cave that caused him endless pain; he had encountered one of the enchanted ladies-in-waiting to his Lady Dulcinea, and she had confided in him that his beloved wanted to borrow six reals for a petticoat she had purchased. He gave her all he had, which was only four reals, and in exchange, she offered him her lady's blessing, saying it came with many kisses. As she left him, he noted that she had done a little jump and had leaped a full two yards into the air.

"O blessed God," cried Sancho, "is it possible that enchantments can have such power as to have changed my master's right senses into a craze so full of absurdity? O Señor, Señor, consider yourself! Have a care for your honor, and give no credit to this silly stuff that has left you scant and short of wits."

"O blessed God," Sancho exclaimed, "is it really possible that magic can be strong enough to turn my master's clear mind into such complete madness? Oh Señor, Señor, think about yourself! Be careful with your reputation, and don’t believe in this nonsense that has left you confused and at a loss."

"Thou talkest in this way because thou lovest me, Sancho," said Don Quixote; and he ascribed his squire's incredulity to a lack of knowledge of the world and assured him that when the time came he would tell him even more [Pg 209] that took place in the cave, which would make him believe what he now doubted.

"You're talking like this because you love me, Sancho," said Don Quixote; and he attributed his squire's disbelief to a lack of worldly experience and assured him that when the moment came, he would share even more [Pg 209] of what happened in the cave, which would make him believe what he currently doubts.


CHAPTER XXIV

Wherein Are Related Some Trifling Matters, as Trivial as They Are Necessary to the Right Understanding of This Great History

THE scholar was surprised that Don Quixote permitted his servant to talk to him in this way, but ascribed his lenience to the good mood he was in. After having whiled away still another hour talking pleasantly, they proceeded to find a place where they might spend the night. The scholar knew of a hermitage not very far off; and on their way there they encountered a man with a mule that was loaded with halberds and lances. Don Quixote was curious to know where he was taking the weapons, but the man answered that he was in great haste to reach the inn beyond the hermitage. He would spend the night at this inn, he said, and if they happened to be there too, he would tell them some things that were both interesting and curious. Don Quixote was so inquisitive that he decided to pass by the hermitage and go to the inn instead.

THE scholar was surprised that Don Quixote allowed his servant to talk to him like this, but he attributed his tolerance to the good mood he was in. After spending another hour chatting in a friendly way, they set out to find a place to spend the night. The scholar knew of a hermitage not too far away; and on their way there, they ran into a man with a mule loaded with halberds and lances. Don Quixote was eager to know where he was taking the weapons, but the man replied that he was in a rush to get to the inn beyond the hermitage. He planned to spend the night there, and if they were there too, he would share some things that were both interesting and curious. Don Quixote was so curious that he decided to skip the hermitage and head to the inn instead.

Just before coming to the inn, they met a happy looking lad of eighteen or nineteen, who carried a sword over his shoulder and a bundle on his back. Don Quixote stopped him and asked where he was going; and the lad replied that [Pg 210] he was going to war for his king. He told the knight how he had been in the service of office-seekers and adventurers in Madrid until he had tired of such a life; and this pleased Don Quixote so much that he invited him to sit behind him on Rocinante and ride with him to the inn to sup with him. But the page, seeing the leanness of the knight's steed, said he preferred to walk, though he was glad to accept the invitation for supper.

Just before arriving at the inn, they encountered a cheerful young man around eighteen or nineteen, who had a sword slung over his shoulder and a bundle on his back. Don Quixote stopped him and asked where he was headed; the young man replied that he was going to fight for his king. He explained to the knight how he had served various opportunists and adventurers in Madrid until he grew tired of that lifestyle; this delighted Don Quixote so much that he invited him to sit behind him on Rocinante and ride with him to the inn for dinner. However, the young man, noticing the slimness of the knight's horse, said he preferred to walk, although he was happy to accept the dinner invitation.

As soon as they had arrived at the inn, Don Quixote asked the landlord for the man with the lances and halberds; and Sancho was happy to know that his master took this inn for an inn and not for an enchanted castle.

As soon as they got to the inn, Don Quixote asked the landlord about the guy with the lances and halberds; and Sancho was relieved to see that his master viewed this inn as just an inn and not an enchanted castle.


CHAPTER XXV

Wherein Is Set Down the Braying Adventure, and the Droll One of the Puppet-Showmen, Together with the Memorable Divinations of the Divining Ape

DON QUIXOTE found the man with the arms feeding his mule in the stable, and he asked the knight to accompany him to a quiet nook when he had finished this duty to his beast. But Don Quixote's curiosity knew no bounds, and he offered to help him sift the barley so that he might begin his story at once. Being a good-natured fellow, the man acquiesced. He related how a magistrate in his village, which was four leagues and a half [Pg 211] away, had lost a donkey through the carelessness of a servant. Some weeks later another magistrate of the same village was hunting in the woods, and when he returned he brought word to his fellow officer that he had come across the lost beast but that he was now so wild that no one could approach him. He suggested, however, that they go together in search for him; and they developed a plan whereby they thought they should surely be able to capture the animal. Both of them were expert in braying, and they decided to place themselves at different ends of the forest, each one braying at intervals. In this way they thought they should be able to round up the donkey, for they were certain that he would answer their calls.

DON QUIXOTE found the man with the arms feeding his mule in the stable, and he asked the knight to join him in a quiet spot once he finished this task for his beast. However, Don Quixote's curiosity was insatiable, and he offered to help him sift the barley so they could start the story right away. Being a friendly guy, the man agreed. He shared how a magistrate in his village, which was about four and a half leagues away, had lost a donkey because of a careless servant. A few weeks later, another magistrate from the same village was hunting in the woods, and when he returned, he told his fellow officer that he had found the lost animal but that it was now so wild that nobody could get close to it. He suggested they go looking for it together, and they came up with a plan that they believed would definitely work to catch the donkey. Both of them were good at braying, so they decided to position themselves at different ends of the forest, each one making sounds at intervals. They thought this way they would be able to round up the donkey since they were sure it would respond to their calls.

But it so happened that both of them brayed at the same time, and when they ran to look, convinced that the donkey had turned up, they found not the ass but only each other, so naturally had they brayed. They tried the same scheme again and again, but every time with the same result; and at last they came in this way to a place in the woods where they found the dead donkey devoured by wolves.

But it just so happened that they both brayed at the same time, and when they rushed to see, sure they had found the donkey, they discovered not the donkey but only each other, since they had brayed so much alike. They tried the same trick repeatedly, but every time it ended the same way; eventually, they ended up in a part of the woods where they found the dead donkey eaten by wolves.

The story of the two magistrates going about in the forest braying to each other like asses soon spread to the villages in the county; and in one village in particular the habit of braying whenever they observed any one from the village of the braying magistrates took such root that it was decided to teach them a lesson by taking arms against them. The arms he carried with him now, he said, were to be used against these scoffers, that they might never again behave like asses.

The story of the two magistrates wandering in the forest braying at each other like donkeys quickly spread to the villages in the county. In one village in particular, the habit of braying whenever they saw anyone from the village of the braying magistrates became so ingrained that they decided to teach them a lesson by taking up arms against them. The weapons he carried with him now, he said, were to be used against these mockers, so they would never act like donkeys again.

He had just finished his story when some one entered and cried out that the show of The Release of Melisendra [Pg 212] and the divining ape were coming to the inn, and a minute later Master Pedro himself came into the yard, where he was greeted by the landlord and all the guests. Master Pedro's one eye was covered by a piece of green silk; Don Quixote judged by this that something had befallen him by accident. He asked the landlord to tell him all he knew of Master Pedro, and he learned that he traveled with his puppet-show from town to town, and was greatly renowned throughout the provinces as a showman. And the ape, the innkeeper said, was like a human being, so clever was he, and wise.

He had just finished his story when someone walked in and shouted that the show of The Release of Melisendra [Pg 212] and the divining ape were coming to the inn. A minute later, Master Pedro himself entered the yard, where the landlord and all the guests welcomed him. Master Pedro's one eye was covered with a piece of green silk; Don Quixote figured that something had happened to him by accident. He asked the landlord to tell him everything he knew about Master Pedro, and learned that he traveled with his puppet show from town to town, and was very well-known throughout the provinces as a performer. The innkeeper added that the ape was so clever and wise, it was like having a human being around.

Soon the show was in readiness inside, and every one gathered around Master Pedro and his divining ape. Don Quixote and Sancho were eager to have their fortunes told, and both offered their reals at the same time; but Master Pedro refused to take any money until the ape had rendered satisfactory service.

Soon the show was ready inside, and everyone gathered around Master Pedro and his fortune-telling ape. Don Quixote and Sancho were excited to have their fortunes told, and both offered their coins at the same time; but Master Pedro refused to take any money until the ape had done a good job.

The ape jumped up on his master's shoulder, and began to chatter his teeth as if he were saying something, all the while keeping his mouth close to Master Pedro's ear. When he had been chattering long enough to please himself, he jumped down just as quickly as he had jumped up. The next instant Don Quixote and Sancho were both frightened and awed by the showman's suddenly throwing himself before Don Quixote's feet and embracing his legs, while he exclaimed: "These legs do I embrace as I would embrace the two pillars of Hercules, O illustrious reviver of knight-errantry, O prop of the tottering, so long consigned to oblivion!" But not only were the knight and the squire aghast; the landlord and the guests were as [Pg 213] startled as they were, for they had never seen Master Pedro act like that before.

The ape jumped up onto his master’s shoulder and started chattering his teeth like he was saying something, keeping his mouth close to Master Pedro's ear. After he had chattered long enough to satisfy himself, he jumped down just as quickly. The next moment, Don Quixote and Sancho were both startled and impressed by the way the showman threw himself at Don Quixote's feet and wrapped his arms around his legs, shouting: "These legs I embrace as if they were the two pillars of Hercules, O great reviver of knight-errantry, O support of the faltering, long forgotten!" But it wasn’t just the knight and the squire who were shocked; the landlord and the guests were equally taken aback, as they had never seen Master Pedro act like that before.

But the showman had not finished, for in the next moment he lay at the feet of Sancho, to whom the divining ape brought cheer from his Teresa, saying that she was just soothing her feelings by indulging in wine from a pitcher which she was holding in her left hand and that had a broken spout.

But the showman wasn't done yet, because in the next moment he collapsed at Sancho's feet. The divining ape brought him good news from his Teresa, saying that she was calming her emotions by enjoying wine from a pitcher in her left hand, which had a broken spout.

Don Quixote was not very well pleased with this exhibition, for he thought it decidedly out of place that an ape should know more than he or any other human being; and he confided to Sancho that the ape was possessed by the devil. He brought Sancho to a dark corner in the stable where he was sure no one could overhear them, and told him there that he was convinced Master Pedro had made a bargain with the devil to get rich through the ape, and then sell him his soul, and he said it surprised him beyond words that the Holy Office had not already interfered with this dastardly scheme.

Don Quixote was not at all happy with this show, as he thought it was totally inappropriate for an ape to know more than he or any other human. He confided in Sancho that the ape was possessed by the devil. He took Sancho to a dark corner of the stable where he was sure no one could overhear them and told him that he was convinced Master Pedro had made a deal with the devil to get rich through the ape and then sell him his soul. He expressed his utter surprise that the Holy Office hadn’t already intervened in this wicked scheme.

At this point Master Pedro came in search of Don Quixote, as the show was about to begin. Before entering the inn, however, Sancho entreated his master to ask the ape whether what he saw in the cave of Montesinos was true. Don Quixote did so, and the ape answered that some of it was true, some of it was not; and immediately Sancho scornfully broke in and said that he had told him so already. The ape intimated that by next Friday he should be able to tell more about the adventure; his mind was tired now.

At this point, Master Pedro came looking for Don Quixote since the show was about to begin. Before entering the inn, though, Sancho urged his master to ask the ape if what he saw in the cave of Montesinos was true. Don Quixote did ask, and the ape replied that some of it was true and some was not; immediately, Sancho scoffed and said that he had already told him that. The ape suggested that by next Friday he would be able to share more about the adventure; he was too tired to think clearly now.

[Pg 214] They entered and found the stage set for the performance; the tapers of wax were lit, it was a bright and beautiful scene. Master Pedro disappeared and took his place behind the scenes, for he was the one who created the life in the puppets. A lad who acted as interpreter, calling out the scenes and describing the action of the play, placed himself outside the theater. Don Quixote, Sancho, the page, and the scholar seated themselves in the front row; and the show began.

[Pg 214] They walked in and found the stage ready for the performance; the candles were lit, creating a bright and beautiful scene. Master Pedro slipped away to his spot behind the scenes since he was the one who brought the puppets to life. A young man acting as the announcer, calling out the scenes and describing the play's action, positioned himself outside the theater. Don Quixote, Sancho, the page, and the scholar sat in the front row, and the show started.


CHAPTER XXVI

Wherein Is Continued the Droll Adventure of the Puppet-Showman, Together with Other Things in Truth Right Good

THE play, which depicted how Melisendra was released by her husband, Señor Don Gaiferos, from the hands of the Moors in the city of Sansueña, now called Saragossa, had only proceeded a short way when Don Quixote became impatient with the young man who was making the explanations to the audience. The knight thought he drifted into unnecessary and superfluous language, and was quick to reprimand him. The show was continued, and again Don Quixote broke in, criticising some of the stage effects: bells were never used by the Moors, only kettledrums, he said. But here Master Pedro begged him not to be so particular, pleading that the show was given for the sake of amusement.

THE play, which showed how Melisendra was rescued by her husband, Señor Don Gaiferos, from the Moors in the city of Sansueña, now known as Saragossa, had barely gotten underway when Don Quixote grew impatient with the young man explaining things to the audience. The knight thought he was rambling with unnecessary and excessive language, and he quickly called him out. The performance went on, and again Don Quixote interrupted, criticizing some of the stage effects: the Moors never used bells, only kettledrums, he insisted. But here Master Pedro asked him not to be so picky, arguing that the show was meant for entertainment.

Don Quixote acceded, and the show began again. [Pg 215]

Don Quixote agreed, and the show started again. [Pg 215]

But it was not long before a number of horsemen were galloping across the stage in pursuit of the two lovers. Their escape was accompanied by such blowing of horns and trumpets and beating of drums, that the noise and din of it all were too much for the poor knight's imagination which was now stirred to such a pitch that he believed himself in the midst of a real battle. He drew his sword and plunged against the Moorish horseman with such vehemence and force, cutting and slashing in all directions, that every one in the room was aghast at his madness, and ran to hide in safety. Master Pedro came within an inch of having his ear, not to say his whole head, cut off, and Don Quixote's fury was not at an end until he had decapitated all the Moorish pasteboard figures. Lucky it was that no blood could flow from them, or there would have been a plentiful stream of it. The ape took refuge on the roof, frightened out of his poor wits, and even Sancho Panza was more than ordinarily shaken with fear, for he admitted that he had never seen his master so wrought up.

But it wasn't long before several horsemen were racing across the stage after the two lovers. Their escape was accompanied by the loud sounds of horns, trumpets, and drums that overwhelmed the poor knight's imagination, making him believe he was in the middle of a real battle. He drew his sword and attacked the Moorish horseman with such force and intensity, slashing in every direction, that everyone in the room was shocked by his madness and ran to hide for safety. Master Pedro came very close to losing his ear, if not his whole head, and Don Quixote's rage didn't end until he had chopped up all the Moorish cardboard figures. Luckily, there was no blood to spill from them, or there would have been a lot of it. The ape took shelter on the roof, terrified out of its mind, and even Sancho Panza was exceptionally shaken with fear, admitting that he had never seen his master so worked up.

When Don Quixote was certain of complete victory—in other words, destruction—he turned and addressed those who had dared to return after the storm: "I wish I had here before me now all those who do not or will not believe how useful knights errant are in the world. Just think, if I had not been here present, what would have become of the brave Don Gaiferos and the fair Melisendra!"

When Don Quixote was sure of total victory—in other words, destruction—he turned to speak to those who had dared to return after the storm: "I wish I had in front of me everyone who doesn't believe or refuses to see how useful knights-errant are in the world. Just think, if I hadn't been here, what would have happened to the brave Don Gaiferos and the beautiful Melisendra!"

But Master Pedro was lamenting the loss of all his emperors and kings and knights and horses, and Sancho was so touched by what he said it would cost him to buy [Pg 216] a new show, that he pleaded with his master to make restitution; and, although Don Quixote could not see that he had done any wrong, he generously ordered his squire to pay Master Pedro the sum of forty reals and three quarters, the landlord having duly functioned as arbiter and agreed that that was a fair price for the damage done to the figures. Besides this amount, Master Pedro was allotted two reals for his trouble in catching the ape.

But Master Pedro was mourning the loss of all his emperors, kings, knights, and horses, and Sancho was so moved by what he said it would cost him to buy [Pg 216] a new performance, that he begged his master to make things right. Even though Don Quixote couldn’t see that he had done anything wrong, he graciously instructed his squire to pay Master Pedro forty reals and three quarters, with the landlord acting as a mediator and agreeing that this was a fair price for the damage to the figures. In addition to this amount, Master Pedro was given two reals for the trouble of catching the ape.

While they were summing up, Don Quixote, however, had only one thought in his mind. He was wondering whether Melisendra and her husband had reached safety by this time: so possessed was he of his infernal imagination. Master Pedro promised him that as soon as he had caught his ape, he would put the question to him; and the showman began to worry about his African companion, hoping that he would soon be hungry, for then he would know whether he was still alive.

While they were wrapping things up, Don Quixote, on the other hand, had only one thought in his mind. He was wondering whether Melisendra and her husband had reached safety by now; he was so consumed by his wild imagination. Master Pedro promised him that as soon as he caught his ape, he would ask him the question; and the showman began to fret about his African companion, hoping he would get hungry soon, because then he would know if he was still alive.

The rest of the evening was passed in peace, and drinking at Don Quixote's expense, and soon it was morning, and the man with the halberds took his departure. The scholar and the page left, too, and Don Quixote generously gave the page twelve reals. But the first one to depart was the showman: he was afraid that the knight might have another outbreak, and he had no desire to experience it twice, and perhaps lose his ape, which he had now caught.

The rest of the evening went by peacefully, with everyone drinking at Don Quixote's expense, and before long, it was morning. The man with the halberds took off, followed by the scholar and the page, whom Don Quixote generously gave twelve reals. But the first to leave was the showman; he was worried the knight might have another outburst, and he didn't want to go through that again or risk losing his ape, which he had finally captured.

The landlord was extremely pleased with Don Quixote's generosity, and was sorry to see him depart; but his madness he could make neither head nor tail of, for he had never seen any one thus afflicted. [Pg 217]

The landlord was really happy with Don Quixote's generosity and felt sad to see him go; but he couldn't understand his madness at all, since he had never seen anyone like that before. [Pg 217]


CHAPTER XXVII

Wherein It Is Shown Who Master Pedro and His Ape Were, Together with the Mishap Don Quixote Had in the Braying Adventure, Which He Did Not Conclude as He Would Have Liked or as He Had Expected

IT was no doubt a good thing for Master Pedro of the puppet-show that neither Sancho nor Don Quixote recognized in him the thief who stole the squire's donkey, when he was asleep; for he it was. None other than the galley-slave Gines de Pasamonte, or Don Ginesillo de Paropilla, as Don Quixote would have it. It was in the guise of a showman, with only one eye and a part of his face visible, that he found it an easy matter to evade being caught by the servants of the law, who had been hunting for him ever since he was liberated through the generosity and bravery of Don Quixote. The ape he had bought from some captives who had returned from Barbary; and he had soon taught him the tricks which made people think he was really divining things. Before entering a village the clever galley-slave would learn all he could about its inhabitants; and being blessed with a remarkable memory, he seldom had any difficulty in making the ape's feat seem impressive to the masses.

It was definitely a good thing for Master Pedro of the puppet show that neither Sancho nor Don Quixote recognized him as the thief who stole the squire's donkey while he was asleep; because that was who he was. He was none other than the galley slave Gines de Pasamonte, or Don Ginesillo de Paropilla, as Don Quixote called him. Disguised as a showman, with only one eye and part of his face visible, he found it easy to avoid being caught by the law, which had been searching for him ever since he was freed thanks to the generosity and bravery of Don Quixote. The ape he had bought from some captives returning from Barbary; and he had quickly taught it tricks that made people think it was really divining things. Before entering a village, the clever galley slave would gather as much information as he could about its inhabitants; and with his impressive memory, he rarely had trouble making the ape's performances appear impressive to the crowd.

Now, when Don Quixote left the inn, it suddenly occurred to him that he ought to visit the banks of the Ebro [Pg 218] before steering towards Saragossa. So he kept on the road for two days, and on the third day as he was mounting a hill he was suddenly aroused by hearing a tremendous din of drums, mixed with the sound of trumpets and musket-shots. In as few instants as it took to make his charger ascend to the top of the hill, he was there; and he saw several hundred men, armed with weapons of every imaginable sort. There were flags, of various descriptions, and among them one in particular attracted his attention: it was a large standard in white, on which was painted a donkey, and also an inscription, reading thus:

Now, when Don Quixote left the inn, it suddenly hit him that he should check out the banks of the Ebro [Pg 218] before heading towards Saragossa. So he stayed on the road for two days, and on the third day, as he was climbing a hill, he was suddenly jolted by a loud noise of drums, mixed with the sound of trumpets and gunfire. In the time it took for his horse to reach the top of the hill, he was there, and he saw several hundred men, armed with every kind of weapon you could imagine. There were flags of various kinds, and one in particular caught his eye: it was a large white standard with a painting of a donkey on it, along with an inscription that read:

They did not bray in vain,
Our alcaldes twain.

They didn't bray for nothing,
Our two alcaldes.

This made Don Quixote believe the warriors must be from the braying town, and he remarked to Sancho that the man to whom they had talked at the inn must have been misinformed, for evidently the two had not been magistrates but alcaldes, according to the sign. To this Sancho replied that having once been a magistrate should not exclude any one from becoming an alcalde; besides, somebody must have brayed, and whether it was an alcalde or a magistrate mattered little, he thought. Don Quixote, however, was in a quandary as to what to do that he might best live up to the laws of knight-errantry.

This made Don Quixote think the warriors must be from the noisy town, and he told Sancho that the guy they talked to at the inn must have been misinformed, because clearly the two weren't magistrates but alcaldes, based on the sign. Sancho replied that just because someone had once been a magistrate doesn't mean they can't also be an alcalde; besides, someone had to make the noise, and whether it was an alcalde or a magistrate didn't really matter, he thought. Don Quixote, however, was unsure about what to do to uphold the laws of knight-errantry.

He finally went to the braying ones, and, having begged their leave to address them, he began a stirring discourse on war and peace that lasted a considerable time. He flayed those who would go into battle for trifling matters; but just when he seemed to be about to win the braying [Pg 219] ones over to his way of thinking, he had to pause for breath.

He finally approached the noisy crowd, and, asking for permission to speak, he launched into an inspiring talk about war and peace that went on for quite a while. He criticized those who would fight over trivial issues; but just when he seemed close to convincing the loud crowd to see things his way, he had to take a break to catch his breath.

Sancho thought it his duty to interrupt the silence and take up the broken thread here, so he continued in his own way, keeping more or less to the same subject. He started in by praising his master—the Knight of the Lions!—his bravery, his generosity, his knowledge of Latin (which Sancho unfortunately did not understand), and all his other virtues, and suddenly he bellowed out that they were fools to take offense at hearing some one bray. Then he became reminiscent and related how he as a boy used to like to go about braying, and told how envious every one in his village was because of his great gift in that direction. "Wait a bit and listen!" said he. "I'll show you!" And before his master had a chance to stop him, he had pinched his nose and brayed—had brayed such a bray that all the valleys and dales gave echo.

Sancho felt it was his responsibility to break the silence and pick up the conversation, so he continued in his own style, staying mostly on the same topic. He began by praising his master—the Knight of the Lions!—his bravery, his generosity, his knowledge of Latin (which Sancho unfortunately didn’t understand), and all his other virtues. Suddenly, he shouted that it was foolish for anyone to get offended by hearing someone bray. Then he got nostalgic and shared how, as a boy, he used to enjoy braying, mentioning how envious everyone in his village was of his impressive talent. "Just wait and listen!" he said. "I'll show you!" And before his master could stop him, he pinched his nose and let out a bray—such a loud bray that all the valleys and dales echoed back.

When some of the men heard the braying they thought he had come there to mock them, and they set upon him with such fury and force that Don Quixote, though he did his best to defend him, had to spur Rocinante into retreat, in order to save his own life. But Sancho was both stoned and pummeled into insensibility, and then he was put on his donkey and tied there; and when he came to, he had to put his trust in Dapple, who was forced to smell his way back to Rocinante.

When some of the guys heard the braying, they thought he was there to make fun of them, and they attacked him with such rage and force that Don Quixote, despite doing his best to protect him, had to urge Rocinante to retreat to save his own life. But Sancho was both stoned and beaten into unconsciousness, and then he was placed on his donkey and tied there; when he came to, he had to rely on Dapple, who was compelled to sniff his way back to Rocinante.

The braying troops remained in the field until evening, but since no opposing army appeared, they returned to their village after dark. [Pg 220]

The noisy troops stayed in the field until evening, but since no enemy army showed up, they headed back to their village after dark. [Pg 220]


CHAPTER XXVIII

Of Matters That Benengeli Says He Who Reads Them Will Know, If He Reads Them with Attention

WHEN Dapple reached his faithful playmate, Rocinante, Sancho fell from his back and rolled at his master's feet. There he lay; but Don Quixote was angry and showed no compassion.

WHEN Dapple reached his loyal playmate, Rocinante, Sancho fell from his back and landed at his master's feet. There he lay; but Don Quixote was upset and showed no sympathy.

"In an evil hour didst thou take to braying, Sancho! Where hast thou learned that it is well done to mention the rope in the house of the man that has been hanged? To the music of brays what harmonies couldst thou expect to get but cudgels?"

"In a bad moment, you started braying, Sancho! Where did you learn that it’s a good idea to mention the rope in the house of the man who’s been hanged? To the sound of braying, what kind of harmonies could you expect but clubs?"

Having thus reprimanded his squire, the good knight looked to his wounds, which Sancho complained of, but found him only discolored.

Having scolded his squire, the good knight checked his wounds, which Sancho was worried about, but found them just bruised.

"I feel as if I was speaking through my shoulders," wailed Sancho; and then he begged his master to hasten away from such evil premises. Of course, he also had to say something scornful about Don Quixote's having abandoned him in the heat of battle; but the knight begged him to consider that there was a difference between flying and retiring.

"I feel like I'm talking through my shoulders," Sancho complained; then he urged his master to quickly leave such terrible places. Naturally, he also had to throw in something sarcastic about Don Quixote leaving him behind in the thick of battle; but the knight asked him to understand that there was a difference between running away and retreating.

Don Quixote succeeded in making Sancho mount and remain on the donkey's back, and then they set off toward a grove which they sighted in the distance. Sancho's back pained him fearfully, but he was much relieved when he [Pg 221] learned from his master—who had seen the accident—that it was caused by his having been smitten by a man armed with a staff. The cause being removed as it were, Sancho was jubilant, although his heart and courage fell as soon as he, in the course of his usual chattering, touched upon the subject of knight-errantry. While bewailing his fate, he forgot his pain; therefore Don Quixote was generous and Christian enough to beg him to keep on talking to himself. Sancho suddenly was reminded of his island, and in turn reminded his master of his promise concerning it.

Don Quixote managed to get Sancho to mount and stay on the donkey's back, and then they set off toward a grove they spotted in the distance. Sancho's back hurt him a lot, but he felt much better when he found out from his master—who had seen what happened—that it was because he had been hit by a man with a stick. With the cause of his pain cleared up, Sancho was thrilled, even though his spirits dropped as soon as his usual talking turned to the topic of knights and adventures. While lamenting his situation, he forgot about the pain; so Don Quixote, being kind and understanding, encouraged him to keep talking to himself. Sancho suddenly remembered his island and reminded his master of the promise he made about it.

This impertinence was rewarded by the knight's demanding of him: "Well, how long is it, Sancho, since I promised thee an island?"

This insolence was met with the knight asking him, "So, how long has it been, Sancho, since I promised you an island?"

And Sancho retorted innocently: "If I remember rightly, it must be over twenty years, three days more or less."

And Sancho replied innocently, "If I remember correctly, it's been over twenty years, give or take three days."

Don Quixote then had to laugh, for it would have been ridiculous not to do so. His wrath was aroused, however, when Sancho again showed his covetousness—his one really great failing, Don Quixote thought—and he told him to keep all the money he had, and betake himself back to his Teresa.

Don Quixote couldn’t help but laugh, as it would have been silly not to. However, he became angry again when Sancho displayed his greed—his only real flaw, according to Don Quixote—and he told him to keep all the money he had and go back to his Teresa.

Sancho was moved to tears by his master's wrath, and he confessed in a broken voice that if he had only had a tail he would have been a complete ass himself. But, he said, if his master should care to attach one to him, he would willingly wear one, and serve him all his life as an ass. Then he asked on bended knees to be forgiven, saying that if he talked much it was less from malice than from ignorance, and finished up his harangue with a proverb that had nothing whatever to do with the rest of his discourse. [Pg 222]

Sancho was brought to tears by his master's anger, and he admitted in a shaky voice that if he had just had a tail, he would have been a total idiot himself. But, he said, if his master wanted to attach one to him, he would gladly wear it and serve him as a donkey for the rest of his life. Then he pleaded on his knees for forgiveness, saying that if he talked a lot, it was less out of malice and more out of ignorance, and he wrapped up his speech with a proverb that had nothing to do with what he was saying. [Pg 222]

So Don Quixote forgave his squire, and by that time they had reached the grove, and they spent the night there under the trees: Don Quixote in soliloquies and meditation, Sancho in pain and restlessness. In the morning they continued on their way to find the river Ebro.

So Don Quixote forgave his squire, and by then they had arrived at the grove, where they spent the night beneath the trees: Don Quixote lost in thought and reflection, Sancho feeling uneasy and restless. In the morning, they set off again to find the river Ebro.


CHAPTER XXIX

Of the Famous Adventure of the Enchanted Bark

IT took them two days to reach the river. The very first thing that struck the knight's eye when he got there, was a boat without oars, tied to a tree. Immediately Don Quixote insisted that the boat had been sent by magic to fetch him to some great knight or other person in need of his help; and all Sancho's contradictions were fruitless.

IT took them two days to reach the river. The very first thing that caught the knight's attention when he got there was a boat without oars, tied to a tree. Immediately, Don Quixote insisted that the boat had been sent by magic to fetch him to some great knight or other person in need of his help; and all of Sancho's arguments were pointless.

Finally the proverb, "Do as thy master bids thee, and sit down to table with him," had its effect on Sancho, and, although certain he was about to give up his life, he tied the beasts to a tree on the bank, and seated himself in the boat, trembling like a leaf. Then the knight cut the rope, and they started to drift out into the stream, while Dapple was braying and Rocinante was trying to break away and plunge in after them. Seeing this, Sancho began to weep convulsively, but his master had no patience with him, and told him to control himself.

Finally, the saying, "Do what your master asks and sit down to eat with him," influenced Sancho. Even though he was certain he was about to lose his life, he tied the animals to a tree on the bank and sat in the boat, shaking like a leaf. Then the knight cut the rope, and they started to drift into the stream, while Dapple was braying and Rocinante was trying to break free and jump in after them. Seeing this, Sancho began to sob uncontrollably, but his master was impatient with him and told him to pull himself together.

Soon they had reached midstream, and Don Quixote, much to Sancho's perplexity, began to talk about cosmography, the three hundred and sixty degrees of the globe, [Pg 223] and the equinoctial line, which, the knight said, they were just then passing. A sure sign by which all seafaring Spaniards determined the passing of this latitude, Don Quixote went on, was that all lice died on everybody on board ship. So, in accordance with this custom, he asked his squire to take the test. Sancho let his hand creep stealthily into the hollow of his left knee, and he promptly told his master that either was the test not to be relied upon, or they had not passed the line that had just been mentioned by name.

Soon they had reached the middle of the stream, and Don Quixote, much to Sancho's confusion, started talking about cosmography, the three hundred and sixty degrees of the globe, [Pg 223] and the equinoctial line, which, the knight claimed, they were just then crossing. A sure sign that all seafaring Spaniards used to confirm that they had crossed this latitude, Don Quixote continued, was that all lice died on everyone aboard the ship. So, following this custom, he asked his squire to put it to the test. Sancho discreetly slipped his hand into the hollow of his left knee and quickly told his master that either the test wasn’t reliable, or they hadn't crossed the line that had just been mentioned.

"Why, how so?" asked Don Quixote; "hast thou come upon aught?"

"Why, how come?" asked Don Quixote; "have you found anything?"

"Ay, and aughts," replied Sancho, and in replying he let the stream wash his fingers.

"Ay, and things," replied Sancho, and while answering, he let the stream wash over his fingers.

Just then they came in view of some large floating mills, moored in midstream. At once Don Quixote became excited, crying to Sancho that there must be some fair princess or high-born lady in captivity in this castle.

Just then, they spotted some large floating mills anchored in the middle of the river. Immediately, Don Quixote got excited, shouting to Sancho that there must be some beautiful princess or noble lady trapped in this castle.

Sancho did his best to make his master believe they were not castles but only mills that ground corn; but to no avail. Don Quixote insisted that either his squire or the mills were enchanted. They came closer and closer to them, and soon shouts were heard from some of the millers, who realized the danger of the boat's being upset by the suction of the water, and dragged into the mill wheels.

Sancho tried his hardest to convince his master that they weren’t castles but just corn mills; however, it was pointless. Don Quixote was convinced that either his squire or the mills were under some kind of spell. They got closer and closer to the mills, and soon shouts came from some of the millers, who understood the risk of the boat being pulled into the mill's wheels by the water’s suction.

The men quickly got hold of some sticks and poles, and tried to stave off the boat, and when Don Quixote saw their white, flour-covered faces he turned to Sancho and begged him to take a good look at the monsters that had [Pg 224] been sent to oppose him. The men were all the time crying out, unable to fathom such dare-deviltry or folly: "Devils of men, where are you going to? Are you mad? Do you want to drown yourselves, or dash yourselves to pieces among these wheels?"

The men quickly grabbed some sticks and poles and tried to push the boat away. When Don Quixote saw their white, flour-covered faces, he turned to Sancho and asked him to really take a good look at the monsters sent to confront him. The men were constantly shouting, unable to comprehend such reckless behavior: "What are you doing, you crazy people? Are you out of your minds? Do you want to drown or smash yourselves against those wheels?"

In reply to these well-meant exclamations, Don Quixote stood up in the boat and began to swing his sword in a ferocious manner, calling them evil rabble, and demanding that they set free the princess who was imprisoned in the fortress; while Sancho said all the prayers he could think of, crawling on the bottom of the swaying boat, which was now close to the rushing water.

In response to these earnest shouts, Don Quixote stood up in the boat and started swinging his sword wildly, calling them a bunch of evil scum, and insisting that they free the princess who was trapped in the fortress. Meanwhile, Sancho was muttering every prayer he could think of, crawling along the bottom of the rocking boat, which was now near the rushing water.

At last the millers caught the boat with their hooks, but in so doing Don Quixote and his squire both fell into the river. Don Quixote in his heavy armor made two trips to the bottom, but both he and Sancho were rescued, thanks to the devils in white. As soon as they had come ashore, Sancho sank upon his knees and thanked the Lord for having been saved from such a death as that from drinking too much water, and prayed that he should be delivered from all future temptations to risk his life in any more foolish causes.

At last, the millers caught the boat with their hooks, but while doing so, Don Quixote and his squire both fell into the river. Don Quixote, weighed down by his heavy armor, sank twice, but he and Sancho were rescued, thanks to the devils in white. As soon as they reached the shore, Sancho fell to his knees and thanked the Lord for saving him from such a death as drowning, and prayed to be spared from any future temptations to risk his life for more foolish causes.

As this moment the fishermen who owned the boat came running up, claiming damages for the wrecked craft, and after having failed to strike a bargain with this rabble for the delivery of the enchanted fair maiden in the castle, Don Quixote, wearied by their stupidity, paid them fifty reals for the boat, exclaiming: "God help us, this world is all machinations and schemes at cross purposes one with the other! I can do no more." Then, turning toward the water mills, he burst out into lamentations, confessing [Pg 225] to the imagined captive princess his inability to set her free at this time; while the fishermen stood by, wondering what it was all about.

At that moment, the fishermen who owned the boat came running over, demanding compensation for the damaged vessel. After failing to negotiate with the mob for the release of the enchanted fair maiden in the castle, Don Quixote, tired of their foolishness, gave them fifty reals for the boat, exclaiming, "God help us, this world is nothing but schemes and plots working against each other! I can't do anything more." Then, turning toward the water mills, he began to lament, confessing to the imagined captive princess his inability to rescue her at that moment, while the fishermen stood nearby, puzzled by what was happening.

Having ceased his lamentations, Don Quixote and Sancho joined their faithful beasts, and set out to find new adventures.

Having stopped his complaints, Don Quixote and Sancho joined their loyal animals and set out to seek new adventures.


CHAPTER XXX

Of Don Quixote's Adventure with a Fair Huntress

SANCHO left the river Ebro with no regrets, except for the fifty reals just paid to the fishermen. He was seriously considering in his own mind the foolishness of remaining a squire to such a mad master as his. But late the following afternoon they approached a field, and suddenly Don Quixote discovered in the distance a number of people, and as they came closer they found it was a hawking party.

SANCHO left the Ebro River without any regrets, except for the fifty reals he had just paid the fishermen. He was seriously questioning the foolishness of being a squire to such a crazy master. But later that afternoon, they came upon a field, and suddenly Don Quixote spotted a group of people in the distance, and as they got closer, they realized it was a hawking party.

Seeing in the party a lady with a hawk on her left hand, and dressed so richly that Sancho said he had never seen anything so fine in his life, Don Quixote decided that she must be some lady of great distinction. Therefore he dispatched his squire with a message to her, asking her for permission to kiss her hand in person. He instructed Sancho to be particularly careful not to dispense any of his proverbs to the lady; but Sancho said he could do without this warning, for had he not carried messages before [Pg 226] to the exalted Dulcinea, the highest lady of them all?

Seeing a woman at the party with a hawk on her left hand, dressed so elegantly that Sancho exclaimed he'd never seen anything so exquisite in his life, Don Quixote concluded she must be a lady of high status. He then sent his squire to ask her for permission to kiss her hand in person. He instructed Sancho to be especially careful not to share any of his proverbs with the lady; but Sancho replied that he didn't need that reminder, since hadn't he already delivered messages before to the esteemed Dulcinea, the most distinguished lady of all? [Pg 226]

Soon Don Quixote saw his squire kneeling before the lady. Having given her his life's history and told her his name, Sancho proceeded with the message of his master, the valiant Knight of the Lions, formerly the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, explicitly explaining his master's modest desire. The lady, who was no other than a duchess, at once was interested, as she had read and laughed over the first volume of "The Ingenious Gentleman, Don Quixote of La Mancha"; and she immediately asked Sancho to return to his master and say that she would be delighted beyond words to have the worthy knight and his squire come and be her and the Duke's guests at a country place they had there.

Soon, Don Quixote saw his squire kneeling in front of the lady. After sharing his life story and telling her his name, Sancho delivered his master's message, the brave Knight of the Lions, who was previously known as the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, clearly explaining his master's humble request. The lady, who was actually a duchess, was immediately intrigued, as she had read and laughed at the first volume of "The Ingenious Gentleman, Don Quixote of La Mancha." She quickly asked Sancho to go back to his master and let him know that she would be thrilled to have the worthy knight and his squire as her and the Duke's guests at their country estate.

Sancho was so flattered that the Duchess had recognized him from having read the book, and so pleased with the reception she had given him, as well as so taken by her great charm and beauty that he could not get back to his master quickly enough to tell him the good news. With his best manner and bearing Don Quixote, attended by his faithful one, rode into the presence of the august lady, and kissed her hand.

Sancho was so flattered that the Duchess recognized him from reading the book, and he was so pleased with the warm welcome she gave him, as well as being captivated by her charm and beauty, that he couldn’t wait to rush back to his master to share the good news. With his best manners, Don Quixote, along with his loyal companion, rode into the presence of the esteemed lady and kissed her hand.

But while Sancho was on his way to his master with the Duchess' message, she had sent for the Duke, and they had arranged, both being gifted with a remarkable sense of humor, to receive and entertain the hero in true knight-errant fashion. Having read all the tales of chivalry, they knew exactly what to do.

But while Sancho was heading to his master with the Duchess's message, she had called for the Duke, and they had planned, both having a great sense of humor, to welcome and entertain the hero in true knight-errant style. Having read all the tales of chivalry, they knew exactly what to do.

Don Quixote was about to dismount, when he had kissed the Duchess' hand; and Sancho, as was his custom, wanted [Pg 227] to get off Dapple in a hurry and hold his stirrup, as soon as he perceived his master's intention. But luck would have it that one of his legs caught in the trappings, and he fell head first towards the ground. There the poor squire hung, unable to get up or down, caught by the foot. Now, when Don Quixote, his eyes fixedly and courteously on the Duchess, thought that his squire was there with the stirrup, he pressed downward with all his weight, and knight and saddle both flew high in the air off Rocinante. When Don Quixote had reached earth, he lay there, writhing in pain and cursing and swearing at his stupid squire, who was still hanging by his foot.

Don Quixote was about to get off his horse after he had kissed the Duchess' hand, and Sancho, as usual, wanted to quickly jump off Dapple to hold his stirrup as soon as he noticed his master's intention. But fate intervened: one of his legs got caught in the tack, and he fell headfirst to the ground. There he was, stuck and unable to get up or down, hanging by his foot. Now, when Don Quixote, focused and polite towards the Duchess, thought his squire was ready with the stirrup, he pressed down with all his weight, causing both him and the saddle to fly high into the air off Rocinante. When Don Quixote landed, he lay there, writhing in pain and cursing his foolish squire, who was still dangling by his foot.

The Duke and the Duchess, unable to constrain themselves at the amusing scene, finally were able through their laughter to order their huntsmen to their help; and, limping, the knight advanced to do homage to the Duke and his consort on his damaged knees. The Duke, however, nobly refused such honor, and instead, embraced the knight. He then regretted in a few well chosen words the knight's accident; but Don Quixote replied with an exalted speech, saying that if he had fallen to the depths of the bottomless pit, the glory of having seen such a noble and worthy pair would have lifted him up. Then, of course, he said something uncomplimentary about his squire, who did not know how to tighten the girths of a saddle, although he could not help giving him credit for having a loose tongue.

The Duke and the Duchess, unable to contain themselves at the funny scene, finally managed, through their laughter, to call their huntsmen for help; and, limping, the knight approached to pay his respects to the Duke and his wife on his injured knees. The Duke, however, graciously declined such honor and instead embraced the knight. He then expressed regret in a few well-chosen words about the knight's accident; but Don Quixote responded with an elevated speech, claiming that even if he had fallen into the depths of an endless pit, the honor of having seen such a noble and worthy couple would have lifted him back up. Then, of course, he made some unflattering remarks about his squire, who didn’t know how to tighten a saddle's girths, although he couldn’t help but acknowledge him for having a loose tongue.

But when the knight began to praise the beauty of the Duchess, the Duke asked him courteously whether there were not others to praise, as, for instance, his own Lady Dulcinea. At this Don Quixote offered the Duchess his [Pg 228] services for a few days, together with those of his squire, Sancho Panza, whom he now took pity on and praised as being the drollest squire in the world. Whereupon the Duchess flattered Sancho, saying that if he were droll, she was sure he was shrewd as well; but Don Quixote broke in and added that he was talkative. When the knight, having heard himself addressed as the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, begged to correct it to the Knight of the Lions, the Duke asked him to relate the episode that thus changed his title. And then he invited all to come to the castle to be present at a reception that he would give to their great and distinguished guest.

But when the knight started praising the beauty of the Duchess, the Duke politely asked him if there weren’t others to praise, like his own Lady Dulcinea. In response, Don Quixote offered the Duchess his [Pg 228] services for a few days, along with those of his squire, Sancho Panza, whom he now took pity on and called the funniest squire in the world. The Duchess then complimented Sancho, saying that if he was funny, she was sure he was clever too; but Don Quixote interrupted to add that he was also talkative. When the knight, hearing himself referred to as the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, asked to correct it to the Knight of the Lions, the Duke asked him to share the story behind this change of title. Then he invited everyone to come to the castle to join a reception he would host for their esteemed guest.

With the Duchess in the middle, flanked by Don Quixote and the Duke, the whole company headed for the castle; but it was not long before the Duchess found her desire for conversation with the droll and amusing Sancho irresistible. As soon as the Duchess' wish was made known to him, the squire eagerly wedged his way between the horses and chattered his way into the lady's good graces.

With the Duchess in the center, flanked by Don Quixote and the Duke, the whole group made their way to the castle; but it wasn't long before the Duchess couldn't resist her desire to chat with the funny and entertaining Sancho. As soon as the Duchess expressed her wish to speak with him, the squire eagerly squeezed his way between the horses and started chatting to win the lady's favor.


CHAPTER XXXI

Which Treats of Many and Great Matters

THE reception tendered Don Quixote was arranged in true knight-errant fashion by the Duke, who had ridden ahead and given full instructions to the servants. So when Don Quixote arrived, he received a welcome that surpassed anything he had ever read or dreamt of. [Pg 229]

THE reception given to Don Quixote was set up in true knight-errant style by the Duke, who had gone ahead and provided complete instructions to the staff. So when Don Quixote arrived, he was greeted with a welcome that exceeded anything he had ever read or imagined. [Pg 229]

The staircases and the galleries of the court were lined with servants, who greeted him with the exclamation: "Welcome, flower and cream of knight-errantry!" At the same time they cast pellets with scented water over him.

The stairs and the hallways of the court were lined with servants, who welcomed him with the shout: "Welcome, the best of knights!" At the same time, they sprinkled him with scented water.

Sancho was taken aback at the sight of all this glory. He had followed the Duchess, but once in the castle, the absence of his Dapple made him feel worried. So he turned to one of the duennas, a dignified woman, named Doña Rodriguez de Grijalba, and asked her whether she would not favor him by going outside and seeing that his poor little Dapple was well taken care of. Doña Rodriguez was greatly incensed at his ordering a duenna of the ducal household to do things of that sort, and called him a garlic-stuffed scoundrel. Don Quixote, overhearing their conversation, reprimanded his misbehaving servant, and Sancho blamed it all on his love for his donkey.

Sancho was shocked by all the grandeur around him. He had followed the Duchess, but once inside the castle, he became anxious because his Dapple was missing. So he turned to one of the lady attendants, a stately woman named Doña Rodriguez de Grijalba, and asked her if she could kindly go outside and check on his poor little Dapple to make sure it was being taken care of. Doña Rodriguez was furious at his request for a lady of the ducal household to do something like that, calling him a garlic-stuffed scoundrel. Don Quixote, overhearing their conversation, scolded his disobedient servant, while Sancho blamed it all on his love for his donkey.

After this, Don Quixote was escorted into a hall the walls of which were covered with cloth of gold and rich tapestries, and here he was stripped of his armor by six fair damsels. These maidens could scarcely control their laughter when they saw him stand there, thin, emaciated, tall and bony, dressed in his chamois doublet and tight-fitting breeches. They begged him to permit them to put a clean shirt on him, but that he refused with many assurances of his modesty, asking them instead to give it to Sancho. The two were taken to a room, where Don Quixote, alone with his squire, undressed and put on the shirt, while he gave Sancho admonitions galore, as to how to behave, begging him never again to have any quarrels with [Pg 230] any duennas, for that only tended to lessen the respect for the master, who was always judged by his squire's behavior and actions.

After this, Don Quixote was led into a hall where the walls were draped in gold cloth and beautiful tapestries. There, six lovely maidens helped take off his armor. They could hardly contain their laughter when they saw him standing there—thin, gaunt, tall, and bony—wearing his chamois doublet and tight breeches. They asked if they could put a clean shirt on him, but he declined, insisting on his modesty and instead requested that they give it to Sancho. The two were taken to a room, where Don Quixote, alone with his squire, undressed and put on the shirt while giving Sancho plenty of advice on how to behave, pleading with him to never get into fights with any duennas again, as that would only diminish respect for the master, who was always judged by his squire’s behavior and actions.

Then Don Quixote returned to the hall, where he was attired in a rich baldric and a scarlet mantle, with a sword and a gorgeous montera of green satin. As he passed through the halls and chambers on his way to the state dining room, he was escorted by the seneschal and twelve pages; and the sides of each room, as well as the aisles, were lined with servants in pompous liveries.

Then Don Quixote went back to the hall, wearing a fancy baldric and a red cloak, along with a sword and a beautiful green satin hat. As he made his way through the halls and rooms to the main dining room, he was accompanied by the steward and twelve pages. The sides of each room, as well as the aisles, were lined with servants in elaborate uniforms.

Only four covers were laid. Besides Don Quixote and his noble hosts the confessor of the ducal household, a cold and austere churchman, occupied a seat at the heavily laden table, to which our knight was ushered ceremoniously by the Duke himself. But the dinner had not even begun when Sancho unloosened his tongue and began with his proverbs, much to the distress and mortification of his master, although to the great enjoyment of the Duchess. Sancho had been standing by Don Quixote, staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at everything that was taking place, for he had never in his life seen anything so sumptuous and ceremonious. The exchange of courtesies between the Duke and our Knight, when the latter finally was induced to accept the seat of honor at the head of the table, impressed the squire considerably; and it was then he thought the time ripe for the introduction of a story about this matter of seats. The Duchess told him by all means to let them hear it, and he began, telling it in the most roundabout way, with twists and curves, and expeditions here and there to places and matters that had as [Pg 231] much to do with the story as had the proverbs that he stuffed it with.

Only four places were set at the table. Besides Don Quixote and his noble hosts, the confessor of the ducal household, a cold and serious churchman, took a seat at the heavily laden table, where the Duke himself ceremoniously directed our knight to sit. But before dinner even started, Sancho loosened his tongue and launched into his proverbs, much to the distress and embarrassment of his master, but greatly entertaining the Duchess. Sancho had been standing next to Don Quixote, wide-eyed and open-mouthed at everything happening around him, as he had never seen anything so lavish and formal before. The exchange of pleasantries between the Duke and our Knight, when the latter was finally encouraged to take the seat of honor at the head of the table, left quite an impression on the squire; and it was then he thought it was the perfect moment to share a story about seating arrangements. The Duchess told him to go ahead, and he started, telling it in the most convoluted way, with twists and detours, bringing up various places and topics that had as [Pg 231] much relevance to the story as the proverbs he stuffed it with.

Don Quixote was beside himself, and the confessor interrupted the poor squire impatiently again and again; but on he went. All the while the Duchess was laughing so heartily that she could scarcely sit up straight in the chair. And while the Duke engaged himself with Don Quixote, she carried on a confidential conversation with Sancho, who told her how he had tricked his master into believing that his Lady Dulcinea was enchanted, saying she was as much enchanted as his father.

Don Quixote was losing it, and the confessor kept interrupting the poor squire impatiently over and over, but he just kept going. Meanwhile, the Duchess was laughing so hard that she could barely sit up straight in her chair. While the Duke was busy with Don Quixote, she had a private chat with Sancho, who told her how he had fooled his master into thinking that his Lady Dulcinea was under a spell, saying she was just as enchanted as his father.

When the confessor heard the sacrilegious conversation the Duchess was having with Sancho, discussing giants and enchantments, he severely reprimanded her and warned her that she would have to answer to God for whatever this man did and said. Then, addressing the Duke, whom he had forbidden to read the book about Don Quixote's adventures, he said: "This Don Simpleton, or whatever his name is, cannot be such a blockhead as your Excellency would have him, holding out encouragement to him to go on with his vagaries and follies." And then he turned to Don Quixote and told him to be on his way, and go home and bring up his children, if he had any; and he called him a numbskull, and other names, and a fool for believing that there were knights-errant in the world and Dulcineas and other such silly things.

When the confessor overheard the sacrilegious chat the Duchess was having with Sancho about giants and magic, he strongly rebuked her and warned her that she would have to answer to God for whatever actions and words this man had. Then, addressing the Duke, whom he had warned not to read the book about Don Quixote’s adventures, he said: "This Don Simpleton, or whatever his name is, can’t be as foolish as your Excellency thinks, encouraging him to continue with his nonsense and absurdities." Then he turned to Don Quixote and told him to go home and take care of his children, if he had any; he called him a numbskull and other names, and a fool for believing that knights-errant and Dulcineas and other such ridiculous things existed.

Don Quixote sat still and never moved a muscle while the churchman was speaking, but as soon as he had said all he had to say, he sprang up from his seat, trembling in his whole body, his face contorted with rage. [Pg 232]

Don Quixote remained completely still while the churchman was speaking, but as soon as he finished, he jumped up from his seat, shaking all over, his face twisted in anger. [Pg 232]


CHAPTER XXXII

Of the Reply Don Quixote Gave His Censurer, with Other Incidents, Grave and Droll

HAD Don Quixote not been where he was and had the man who thus assailed him not been of the church, it is safe to say that Don Quixote would have made his defamer retract his words at the point of his sword. But instead he calmed himself, and began a long discourse on the virtues of knight-errantry, finishing it with an avowal of his intentions which, he swore, were to do good to all and evil to none. As for his deserving to be called a fool, he would leave that to the judgment of the Duke and the Duchess. But their worships never got a chance to utter a word before Sancho broke in with the most stupendous praise of his master's speech.

HAD Don Quixote not been where he was and if the man who attacked him hadn’t been from the church, it’s safe to say that Don Quixote would have forced his accuser to take back his words at sword-point. But instead, he calmed down and started a long talk about the virtues of knight-errantry, ending with a declaration of his intentions which, he insisted, were to help everyone and harm no one. As for whether he deserved to be called a fool, he would leave that up to the Duke and the Duchess. However, their worships never got a chance to say anything before Sancho jumped in with the most incredible praise for his master’s speech.

The churchman wanted to know whether he was the Sancho Panza of the book he had seen in print, to which Sancho replied that he most certainly was, and corroborated it with a string of proverbs, ending his long-winded reply to the confessor's question with a wish for long life for his master and himself, saying that neither one of them would be in any want of empires or islands to rule. Whereupon the Duke at once said he conferred upon Sancho this very moment the government of one of his islands; and hearing this Don Quixote whispered to Sancho—who [Pg 233] could not believe his own ears—to go down on his knees and thank the Duke for his kindness.

The clergyman wanted to know if he was the Sancho Panza from the book he had seen published, to which Sancho replied that he definitely was, and backed it up with a series of proverbs. He wrapped up his lengthy response to the confessor's question by wishing for long life for himself and his master, saying that neither of them would lack for empires or islands to govern. At that moment, the Duke announced that he was giving Sancho control over one of his islands; upon hearing this, Don Quixote whispered to Sancho—who couldn't believe his ears—to get down on his knees and thank the Duke for his generosity.

The ecclesiastic could stand this impudence no longer, and he rose from his seat and left the room in disgust and ill-temper. The Duke wanted to call him back, but he was in such hysterics from hearing Sancho's proverbial nonsense that he could not speak. After the churchman's departure Don Quixote again took to discoursing, and delivered a tirade on the subject of giving and taking offense, comparing the confessor's rebuke to the offense of a woman, whose only weapon was her tongue and who therefore could not be punished by the sword. They marveled at his knowledge and at the quality of his language, however amusing he himself appeared; but it was Sancho who particularly took their fancy, for the ducal pair thought they had never met any one quite so amusing and droll in all their life. And when Don Quixote had ended his discourse, Sancho himself burst out regarding the priest: "By my faith, I am certain if Reinaldos of Montalvan had heard the little man's words, he would have given him such a spank on the mouth that he would not have spoken for the next three years."

The priest couldn't take the rudeness anymore, so he got up from his seat and left the room, feeling disgusted and annoyed. The Duke wanted to call him back, but he was in such a fit from hearing Sancho's silly sayings that he couldn't speak. After the churchman left, Don Quixote started speaking again and went on a rant about giving and taking offense, comparing the confessor's rebuke to the offense from a woman, whose only weapon was her words and who couldn't be punished with a sword. They were amazed by his knowledge and the way he spoke, even if he himself seemed amusing, but Sancho really caught their attention, as the duke and duchess thought they had never met anyone quite so funny and entertaining in their lives. And when Don Quixote finished his speech, Sancho exclaimed about the priest: "I swear, if Reinaldos of Montalvan had heard that little guy's words, he would have smacked him right in the mouth so hard he wouldn't have been able to speak for the next three years."

The dinner was now over, and four maidens entered: one carrying a silver basin, another one a jug, also of silver, a third one towels, while the fourth had her sleeves rolled up, and, approaching Don Quixote, began to soap his face and beard. Don Quixote thought this must be a custom after all ducal meals, so he submitted in amazement and stretched out his legs comfortably, that he should not appear out of place in such surroundings. When his face [Pg 234] was all lathered, the barber maiden pretended there was no more water in the jug; and by this time the lather had worked its way into the knight's eyes, and he sat there making the most fierce and ludicrous faces until the water finally arrived. Then the Duke, in order that Don Quixote should have no suspicions, ordered the maiden to wash his face and beard as well. But the one who really was crying for and needing such a washing was Sancho. He at last got up sufficient courage to ask the Duchess that he might share in the ceremony, and she promised him that if necessary the maidens would even put him in the bathtub. This kind offer Sancho declined—with many thanks, however—saying he would be just as grateful for having only his beard washed.

The dinner was finished, and four young women came in: one carrying a silver basin, another with a silver jug, a third with towels, and the fourth had her sleeves rolled up. She approached Don Quixote and began to soap his face and beard. Don Quixote thought this must be a tradition after ducal meals, so he accepted it in surprise and stretched out his legs comfortably, wanting to fit in with his surroundings. As the barber maiden got his face all lathered up, she pretended there was no more water in the jug. By that point, the lather had gotten into the knight's eyes, and he sat there making the most ridiculous and fierce faces until the water finally arrived. Then the Duke, to keep Don Quixote from being suspicious, instructed the maiden to wash his face and beard too. But the one who really needed a wash was Sancho. Finally, he gathered enough courage to ask the Duchess if he could join in the ceremony, and she promised him that if needed, the maidens would even put him in the bathtub. Sancho politely declined the generous offer, saying he would be just as happy with just having his beard washed.

While Sancho went with the seneschal to have this attended to, Don Quixote lingered at the table with the Duke and the Duchess. The latter was anxious to have the hero tell her something about his Lady Dulcinea; and Don Quixote became reminiscent and began to sigh, telling her in exalted and flowery language of his great platonic love for this lady, who was now enchanted by some evil sage. When the Duchess asked Don Quixote if it were true that she was only an imaginary figure, he replied meekly that there was a good deal to be said on that point; still, he thought, one must not go to extreme lengths in asking for proof. They discussed many other things, not forgetting Sancho, whom his master praised for his drollery and criticised for being a booby.

While Sancho went with the seneschal to take care of this matter, Don Quixote stayed at the table with the Duke and the Duchess. The Duchess was eager to hear about his Lady Dulcinea, and Don Quixote became nostalgic and started to sigh, describing to her in elaborate and flowery terms his deep platonic love for this lady, who was now under the spell of some evil sorcerer. When the Duchess asked Don Quixote if it was true that she was just a figment of his imagination, he replied gently that there was a lot to consider on that topic; still, he believed one shouldn't go too far in demanding proof. They talked about many other things, not forgetting Sancho, whom his master praised for his humor but also criticized for being foolish.

Suddenly a great noise was heard and the next moment [Pg 235] Sancho burst into the room trembling with rage. He was followed by some of the servants in the kitchen. Round his neck was a straining cloth, and dirty lather was splashed in various places over his person. He presented an appearance that at once made the Duchess scream with laughter. He proceeded to tell how he had been set upon by the kitchen-boy, who had been appointed barber by the rest, and how the lad had attempted to lather his face with kitchen soap and dishwater, applied with a scrubbing-brush. Don Quixote thought it best here to make the servants understand that he would tolerate no such jokes on his squire, so he addressed them in severe fashion and then ordered them back to the kitchen, with the Duchess' kind consent.

Suddenly, a loud commotion broke out, and in the next moment, [Pg 235] Sancho burst into the room, shaking with anger. He was followed by some of the kitchen staff. A tight cloth was wrapped around his neck, and there were signs of dirty lather splattered all over him. His appearance immediately made the Duchess burst out laughing. He began to explain how he had been attacked by the kitchen boy, who had been made the barber by the others, and how the boy had tried to shave his face with kitchen soap and dishwater, using a scrubbing brush. Don Quixote thought it best to let the servants know that he wouldn't put up with such jokes at his squire's expense, so he spoke to them sternly and then sent them back to the kitchen, with the Duchess' approval.

When the servants had left Sancho thought it a duty to himself and his master—in order to uphold their mutual dignity and for the sake of freeing himself from any untoward suspicion—to speak on his own behalf: "Let them bring a comb here and curry this beard of mine, and if they get anything out of it that offends against cleanliness, let them clip me to the skin." And when the Duchess had acknowledged her faith in Sancho and his virtues, the poor squire's happiness knew no bounds. He offered to serve her for the rest of his life. He wished that he might soon be dubbed a knight that he might carry out his desire on that point. She thanked him for expressing such a friendly feeling for her, and told him that she could plainly judge by his courteous offer to her that he had been reared in no other school than that of the great knight Don Quixote of [Pg 236] La Mancha. And she assured him that the Duke would not forget the island he had promised him: she would see to that.

When the servants had left, Sancho felt it was his responsibility to himself and his master—to maintain their mutual dignity and to clear himself of any awkward suspicion—to speak up for himself: "Let them bring a comb here and take care of this beard of mine, and if they find anything unsanitary, let them shave me right down to the skin." Once the Duchess expressed her trust in Sancho and his qualities, the poor squire's happiness was overwhelming. He offered to serve her for the rest of his life. He hoped to be knighted soon so he could fulfill that desire. She thanked him for his kind feelings toward her and told him that she could clearly see from his courteous offer that he was raised under no other influence than that of the great knight Don Quixote of [Pg 236] La Mancha. She assured him that the Duke would not forget the island he had promised him: she would make sure of it.

Don Quixote was now feeling the necessity for his mid-day nap, and begged to be permitted to retire. Sancho wanted to do the same, and remarked to the Duchess that he usually slept about four or five hours in the middle of a warm summer day; but upon her earnest request he promised her to try to wake up after an hour and come and visit with her and her duennas.

Don Quixote was now feeling the need for his afternoon nap, and asked to be allowed to take a break. Sancho wanted to do the same and mentioned to the Duchess that he usually napped for about four or five hours in the heat of a summer day; however, at her sincere request, he promised to try to wake up after an hour and come visit with her and her ladies-in-waiting.


CHAPTER XXXIII

Of the Delectable Discourse Which the Duchess and Her Damsels Held with Sancho Panza, Well Worth Reading and Noting

AS soon as Sancho had eaten his dinner, he decided to have no sleep that afternoon, but to hasten to the Duchess' chambers that he might talk to her the whole afternoon. The Duchess asked him innumerable questions about his master and the Lady Dulcinea, and about Teresa Panza and every one concerned in the book about Don Quixote; and Sancho managed to keep the Duchess and her duennas in an uncommonly good humor for the rest of the day. They soon drifted to Sancho's government, and the squire expressed the belief that perhaps after a [Pg 237] fortnight he would be as well versed in the affairs of government as he was in the farm labor he had been doing all his life.

As soon as Sancho finished his dinner, he decided not to take a nap that afternoon but to rush to the Duchess's chambers so he could talk to her for the entire afternoon. The Duchess asked him countless questions about his master and Lady Dulcinea, as well as Teresa Panza and everyone involved in the story about Don Quixote. Sancho managed to keep the Duchess and her attendants in a remarkably good mood for the rest of the day. They soon started talking about Sancho's governorship, and the squire expressed his belief that maybe after a [Pg 237] fortnight, he would be as knowledgeable about government affairs as he was about the farm work he had been doing his whole life.

"Let them only put me into this government and they will see wonders," he said; "for one who has been a good squire will be a good governor."

"Just give me a chance in this government, and they'll be amazed," he said; "because someone who has been a good squire will make a great governor."

And then he took leave of the high lady, who suggested that he go home and sleep for the rest of the afternoon. He promised that he would, and entreated her to see to it that good care was taken of his Dapple. When he had explained to the Duchess that Dapple was his faithful donkey, and told her of the incident with Doña Rodriguez, she assured him that Dapple would want for nothing in her stable. She suggested that when he had his government in hand, he ought to pension Dapple off and let him quit working; and Sancho thought that was by no means a bad idea, for, he said, he would not be the first ass to be so pensioned.

And then he said goodbye to the lady, who suggested that he go home and take a nap for the rest of the afternoon. He promised he would, and asked her to make sure his Dapple was well taken care of. After he explained to the Duchess that Dapple was his loyal donkey and shared the story about Doña Rodriguez, she assured him that Dapple would be well looked after in her stable. She suggested that once he had his government under control, he should retire Dapple and let him stop working. Sancho thought that was a great idea, saying he wouldn’t be the first donkey to receive a pension.

The Duchess, when he had left, hastened to tell the Duke of her amusing conversation with Sancho; and again they put their heads together, trying to invent new ways and plots whereby they might derive amusement from the presence of Don Quixote and his squire. [Pg 238]

The Duchess, after he left, quickly shared her entertaining chat with Sancho with the Duke; and once more, they brainstormed together, trying to come up with new schemes and plans to get a kick out of Don Quixote and his squire's company. [Pg 238]


CHAPTER XXXIV

Which Relates How They Learned the Way in Which They Were to Disenchant the Peerless Dulcinea Del Toboso, Which Is One of the Rarest Adventures in This Book

WHEN the Duke and the Duchess had hit upon a plan they proceeded to make preparations for its being carried out, and on the sixth day they invited Don Quixote to go hunting with them. There was an array of huntsmen and beaters, as great a retinue as the Duke could possibly get together. Both Don Quixote and his squire had been presented with splendid hunting suits; but Don Quixote did not accept his, saying that he would soon have to return to the hard pursuits of his calling, and that it would only be a burden to carry it along.

WHEN the Duke and the Duchess came up with a plan, they started getting ready to put it into action. On the sixth day, they invited Don Quixote to join them for a hunting trip. There was a large group of hunters and beaters, as big a crowd as the Duke could gather. Both Don Quixote and his squire were given impressive hunting outfits; however, Don Quixote declined his, stating that he would soon need to return to the tough work of his mission, and that it would just be a hassle to carry it with him.

Sancho did not know that his beautiful suit was destined to be torn that very day. A wild boar came along, and Sancho deserted his Dapple and climbed quickly up into the tallest tree he could find; but fate would have it that the branch gave way, and Sancho fell onto a branch below, where he hung suspended by a great rent in his breeches, screaming with all his might that he would be devoured by the boar; but the boar fell in the next moment, pierced by many spears, and Sancho was helped to the ground by his master.

Sancho didn’t realize that his fancy outfit was going to be ripped that very day. A wild boar showed up, and Sancho left his Dapple behind and quickly climbed the tallest tree he could find. But fate had other plans, and the branch broke, causing Sancho to fall onto a lower branch, where he ended up hanging by a big tear in his pants, yelling as loud as he could that he was going to be eaten by the boar. However, in the next moment, the boar fell, pierced by several spears, and his master helped Sancho down to the ground.

The boar was taken to some tents nearby, where dinner [Pg 239] soon was ready and being served for the hunters. Sancho could not refrain then from showing the Duchess what had befallen him in the tree-top, expressing to her his opinion of hunts of that kind, involving so much risk. Much better, he thought, it would be to hunt hares and other little animals. And then he went on at a tremendous speed, repeating proverb after proverb, one minute telling the Duchess how he would govern his island, and the next minute talking about something in his home village.

The boar was taken to some nearby tents, where dinner [Pg 239] was soon ready and being served for the hunters. Sancho couldn't help but show the Duchess what had happened to him up in the tree, sharing his thoughts on hunts like that, which involved so much danger. He thought it would be much better to hunt hares and other small animals. Then he went on at a rapid pace, rattling off proverb after proverb, one minute telling the Duchess how he would run his island, and the next minute chatting about something from his hometown.

Night fell as they were talking. It was a very dark night, which helped to make the Duke's plan seem more likely of success. They had all left the tents and gone into the wood, when suddenly it seemed as if the whole space was afire in one blazing red mass of flames; then there came the sound of trumpets, numberless ones it seemed, and of hoofs, as if hordes of horses had passed through the wood, and of drums, and of battle-cries in Moorish. It was one long, tremendous, indescribable confusion. The Duke and the Duchess were seemingly taken aback; Don Quixote did not know what to think or do; and Sancho was absolutely panic-stricken. It was a din so overwhelming that even those who had arranged it were aghast and afraid.

Night fell as they were talking. It was a pitch-black night, which made the Duke's plan seem more likely to succeed. They had all left the tents and entered the woods when suddenly it felt like the whole area was on fire in one bright, red flash; then came the sound of trumpets, countless it seemed, and the noise of hooves, as if swarms of horses were rushing through the woods, along with drums and battle cries in Moorish. It was one long, intense, chaotic scene. The Duke and the Duchess looked stunned; Don Quixote didn’t know what to think or do; and Sancho was completely panicked. The noise was so overwhelming that even those who had set it all up were shocked and scared.

Then there came a sudden lull, and a messenger—dressed like a demon and blowing a horn that sounded a weird and sickly note—appeared before their eyes, apparently in great haste. The Duke called to him and asked him where he was going; and he replied in a coarse voice that he was the Devil and was looking for Don Quixote of La Mancha. He pointed to the on-riding troops, and said that they were enchanters who were bringing the famous Lady [Pg 240] Dulcinea del Toboso and the great Frenchman Montesinos on a triumphal car to seek their disenchantment through the only one who could accomplish it, the Knight of the Lions.

Then there was a sudden pause, and a messenger—dressed like a demon and blowing a horn that made a strange and unsettling sound—showed up in front of them, looking like he was in a hurry. The Duke called out to him and asked where he was headed; he answered in a rough voice that he was the Devil and was searching for Don Quixote of La Mancha. He pointed to the troops riding by and said they were enchanters bringing the famous Lady [Pg 240] Dulcinea del Toboso and the great Frenchman Montesinos on a triumphal chariot to seek their liberation through the only person who could help, the Knight of the Lions.

On hearing this, Don Quixote said: "If you are the Devil, you ought to know that I am Don Quixote!"

On hearing this, Don Quixote said: "If you’re the Devil, you should know that I’m Don Quixote!"

Whereupon the Devil exclaimed in surprise that he had not noticed the knight at all because he was so preoccupied with so many other things that he had almost forgotten what he was there for. Judging the Devil by his remark Sancho decided he was a very honest fellow and a good Christian; otherwise he would not have sworn—as Sancho did—by God and his conscience. After that the squire concluded that even hell had its quota of souls.

Whereupon the Devil exclaimed in surprise that he hadn’t noticed the knight at all because he was so caught up in so many other things that he had almost forgotten why he was there. Judging by the Devil's remark, Sancho decided he was a very honest guy and a good Christian; otherwise, he wouldn’t have sworn—like Sancho did—by God and his conscience. After that, the squire concluded that even hell had its share of souls.

The Devil asked Don Quixote to communicate with Montesinos that he might receive instructions as to how to carry out the disenchantment of Lady Dulcinea; and then he turned around his horse and was gone. The whole thing had happened so suddenly that even Don Quixote was perplexed and seemed as if he did not know whether to believe what he had seen and heard. Sancho was dumbfounded and frightened out of his wits.

The Devil asked Don Quixote to get in touch with Montesinos so he could get instructions on how to break the enchantment on Lady Dulcinea; then he turned his horse around and left. It all happened so fast that even Don Quixote was confused, unsure whether to believe what he had just seen and heard. Sancho was shocked and terrified out of his mind.

As Don Quixote made no move to follow the Devil's advice, the Duke turned to him and asked whether he intended to remain where he was. He answered that he would even if all the devils from hell should attack him. Scarcely had he vowed this when he had to gather all his courage in order not to give way to fear, for again there broke out a noise and din that surpassed anything that he had ever heard: shots of cannon and muskets, shouts and [Pg 241] screams from all sides, and the terrific sound of all the trumpets, horns, drums, bugles and clarions; and then came the heavy creaking noise of carts, coming through the wood and all brightly lighted with rows of tapers.

As Don Quixote didn't take the Devil's advice, the Duke turned to him and asked if he planned to stay where he was. He replied that he would, even if all the devils from hell came after him. Just as he made this vow, he had to muster all his courage to avoid succumbing to fear, because once again a noise erupted that was greater than anything he had ever experienced: cannon and musket shots, shouts and screams from every direction, and the overwhelming sound of trumpets, horns, drums, bugles, and clarions; then came the heavy creaking of carts moving through the woods, all brightly lit with rows of candles.

It was too much for poor Sancho. He fell fainting on the Duchess' skirt. She ordered her servants to fan him and to throw water in his face, and he regained consciousness just as one of the carts was passing. It was drawn by four oxen, completely covered with black cloth, and attached to each horn was a lighted wax taper. Leading the oxen were two demons with such horrible, frightful faces that Sancho shut his eyes tightly after having got one glance of them. An old, worthy-looking man with a long, snow-white beard sat on a raised seat on the cart; and when he passed Don Quixote he said in a deep voice: "I am the sage Lirgandeo." And the cart continued. Then followed other carts, with other sages, and Sancho's face suddenly lighted up, for he heard sweet music in the distance, and he said to the Duchess: "Señora, where there is music, there can be no mischief."

It was too much for poor Sancho. He fainted onto the Duchess's skirt. She told her servants to fan him and splash water on his face, and he came to just as one of the carts was passing by. It was pulled by four oxen, completely covered in black cloth, and each horn had a lit wax candle attached to it. Leading the oxen were two demons with such terrifying, hideous faces that Sancho shut his eyes tightly after getting just one look at them. An old, respectable-looking man with a long, white beard sat on a raised seat on the cart; as he passed Don Quixote, he said in a deep voice, “I am the sage Lirgandeo.” And the cart moved on. Then came other carts, carrying other sages, and Sancho's face suddenly brightened up because he heard sweet music in the distance, and he said to the Duchess, “Madam, where there is music, there can be no mischief.”

But Don Quixote would not commit himself, for all he remarked was: "That remains to be seen." [Pg 242]

But Don Quixote wouldn’t make a commitment; all he said was, “That remains to be seen.” [Pg 242]


CHAPTER XXXV

Wherein Is Continued the Instruction Given to Don Quixote Touching the Disenchantment of Dulcinea, Together with Other Marvelous Incidents

AS the sound of the music came closer, they distinguished a triumphal car, several times larger than the other ones, and on it were seated two figures, surrounded by a great many penitents, robed in white, and with lighted wax tapers in their hands. One of the figures was a young maiden in the costume of a nymph. She was very beautiful. The other one was dressed in a robe of state and had her head covered with a black veil.

AS the sound of the music got louder, they recognized a triumphal car, much larger than the others, and on it were two figures, surrounded by a large number of white-robed penitents holding lit wax candles. One of the figures was a young woman dressed like a nymph. She was very beautiful. The other figure wore an ornate robe and had her head covered with a black veil.

As the car reached the spot where the Duke and Duchess and Don Quixote were standing, the music suddenly ceased, and the figure in the long robe rose and removed both the robe and the veil. All were astonished to find themselves face to face with Death. Sancho was frightened; Don Quixote felt ill at ease; and even the Duke and the Duchess seemed uncomfortable.

As the car pulled up to where the Duke and Duchess and Don Quixote were standing, the music suddenly stopped, and the person in the long robe stood up and took off both the robe and the veil. Everyone was shocked to find themselves staring at Death. Sancho was scared; Don Quixote felt uneasy; and even the Duke and the Duchess looked uncomfortable.

Then Death began to declaim a long poem which ended with the announcement that the Lady Dulcinea was enchanted by himself, the sage Merlin, here in the guise of Death, and that she could be redeemed in but one way: by three thousand three hundred lashes administered on Don Quixote's squire Sancho.

Then Death started reciting a lengthy poem that concluded with the statement that Lady Dulcinea was under a spell cast by him, the wise Merlin, appearing here as Death, and that she could only be freed in one way: by giving three thousand three hundred lashes to Don Quixote's squire, Sancho.

When Sancho heard this he exclaimed that he would [Pg 243] rather stab himself than take the lashes, for he failed to see what he had to do with the enchantment of the Lady Dulcinea. This talk infuriated Don Quixote, who threatened to tie him to a tree and lay on the lashes himself, if his faithful squire had so little respect for his beloved one that he would not sacrifice himself to such an extent. But Merlin said that would have no effect, for the worthy Sancho must do the sacrifice of his own free will, or the disenchantment could not be accomplished.

When Sancho heard this, he shouted that he would rather stab himself than take the lashes, since he couldn't see how he was involved in Lady Dulcinea's enchantment. This angered Don Quixote, who threatened to tie him to a tree and whip him himself if his loyal squire had so little respect for his beloved that he wouldn't make such a sacrifice. But Merlin said that wouldn’t work, because the noble Sancho had to make the sacrifice of his own free will, or the disenchantment couldn't happen.

Sancho, however, was as stubborn as a mule, and it was not until the Duke himself took a hand in the matter and threatened him with the loss of his governorship that he gave in; and then a compromise was made whereby Sancho promised to inflict the three thousand three hundred lashes upon himself. Merlin assured him, however, that if he should make any mistake in counting them, it would soon be known; for the moment all the lashes had been dealt, the Lady Dulcinea would be released—neither one lash before, nor one lash after—and she would at once come to thank and reward him for his sacrifice.

Sancho, however, was as stubborn as a mule, and it wasn't until the Duke himself got involved and threatened to take away his governorship that he finally gave in. A compromise was reached where Sancho agreed to give himself three thousand three hundred lashes. Merlin told him, though, that if he messed up counting them, everyone would find out quickly; because the moment all the lashes were given, Lady Dulcinea would be set free—neither a lash before, nor a lash after—and she would immediately come to thank and reward him for his sacrifice.

As soon as Sancho had testified his willingness to serve his master and his master's lady, Don Quixote fell on his squire's neck and kissed him. The Duke and the Duchess praised him for his unselfishness. And the music played again. Then the car moved on, Lady Dulcinea bowed to Sancho and the ducal pair, and dawn appeared with its glowing smile. The muskets were again heard; and all was calm.

As soon as Sancho expressed his eagerness to serve his master and his master's lady, Don Quixote hugged him tight and gave him a kiss. The Duke and the Duchess commended him for his selflessness. Then the music started up again. After that, the carriage moved on, and Lady Dulcinea bowed to Sancho and the royal couple, with the dawn breaking and lighting up the scene. The muskets fired again; everything was peaceful.

The Duke was pleased beyond measure with his idea, which had been so effectively carried out. The hunt was [Pg 244] at an end, and all returned happy and content—all except Sancho, who could not help thinking of the pain he was to give himself. But the Duke was bent on hitting upon new schemes whereby he should be able to continue the gaiety that Sancho and his master caused.

The Duke was extremely pleased with his idea, which had been executed so well. The hunt was [Pg 244] over, and everyone returned happy and satisfied—everyone except Sancho, who couldn't stop thinking about the pain he was going to cause himself. But the Duke was determined to come up with new plans to keep the fun going that Sancho and his master created.


CHAPTER XXXVI

Wherein Is Related the Strange and Undreamed-of Adventure of the Distressed Duenna, Alias the Countess Trifaldi, Together with a Letter Which Sancho Panza Wrote to His Wife, Teresa Panza

THE Duke's majordomo had played the part of Merlin, and he it was who induced a page to appear as Dulcinea. This majordomo was a fellow full of pranks and good humor, and it was he who had written the verses he recited, too. To him the Duke now turned, and they contrived together another amusing scheme.

THE Duke's steward had taken on the role of Merlin, and he was the one who got a page to dress up as Dulcinea. This steward was a prankster with a great sense of humor, and he had also written the verses he recited. The Duke now turned to him, and they came up with another entertaining plan together.

The next day Sancho was asked by the Duchess how many lashes he had given himself; and he replied meekly that he had commenced with five. After a moment's inquisition, however, the squire admitted that it had not been with lashes but slaps that he had done penance. The Duchess said she was certain that the sage Merlin would not tolerate any such false pretense. She suggested that he make a scourge with claws or knotted cords so that he would be sure to feel what he was doing to himself, and [Pg 245] when the Duchess offered to bring him such a scourge in the morning, he had to promise to accept it. Then he told her that he had written a letter to his wife, Teresa Panza, in the governor style; and begged her to read it, which she did. The Duchess derived so much amusement from it that she hastened to show it to the Duke. And when Sancho was asked whether he had written the letter himself, he said that he only dictated it, since he could neither read nor write.

The next day, the Duchess asked Sancho how many lashes he had given himself, and he replied modestly that he had started with five. After a moment of questioning, though, the squire confessed that it hadn't been lashes but slaps that he used for penance. The Duchess said she was sure that the wise Merlin wouldn’t accept such a false show. She suggested he make a scourge with claws or knotted cords so he would truly feel what he was doing to himself, and [Pg 245] when the Duchess offered to bring him such a scourge in the morning, he had to promise to accept it. He then told her that he had written a letter to his wife, Teresa Panza, in the style of a governor; and he asked her to read it, which she did. The Duchess found it so amusing that she hurried to show it to the Duke. When Sancho was asked if he had written the letter himself, he said he only dictated it since he couldn’t read or write.

After dinner the Duke and the Duchess were sitting in the garden talking with Don Quixote and Sancho, when suddenly there was heard the sound of a deep doleful voice. They all turned quickly to see who was speaking, and there they saw approaching them a man with a snow-white beard that reached almost to the ground. He said he was Trifaldin, of the White Beard, squire to the Countess Trifaldi, otherwise called the Distressed Duenna, and that he had come in search of the valiant knight Don Quixote who he had heard was visiting at the castle. His mistress, he said, in order to find this knight had traveled all the way from the kingdom of Kandy without breaking her fast, and now he begged that Don Quixote would receive the lady, that she herself might tell him her misfortunes.

After dinner, the Duke and the Duchess were sitting in the garden chatting with Don Quixote and Sancho when suddenly they heard a deep, mournful voice. They all turned quickly to see who was speaking, and there they saw a man with a snow-white beard that nearly touched the ground. He introduced himself as Trifaldin, of the White Beard, squire to the Countess Trifaldi, also known as the Distressed Duenna. He explained that he had come looking for the brave knight Don Quixote, who he had heard was visiting the castle. His mistress, he said, had traveled all the way from the kingdom of Kandy without eating, and now he asked that Don Quixote receive the lady so she could share her misfortunes with him.

Don Quixote at once bade the squire go and fetch the Countess; at the same time he uttered a desire to the Duke that the confessor who did not believe in knights errant might have been present to see how appreciated and famed his achievements had become throughout the world. [Pg 246]

Don Quixote immediately told the squire to go get the Countess; he also expressed to the Duke his wish that the confessor who didn’t believe in knights-errant could witness how admired and celebrated his achievements had become all over the world. [Pg 246]


CHAPTERS XXXVII-XXXIX

Wherein Is Continued the Notable Adventure of the Distressed Duenna, Including Her Marvelous and Memorable Tale of Misfortune

THE Countess soon arrived, escorted by twelve duennas, who formed a lane through which she passed into the Duke's presence. On seeing so distinguished a guest, he went to receive her with all the honors due to her rank. When she had curtsied, she asked the Duke if it were true that the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha was present in the company. The import of her question was heightened by the way she expressed it, for these were her words spoken in a deep and coarse voice: "Are there present here that knight immaculatissimus, Don Quixote de la Manchissima, and his squirissimus Panza?"

THE Countess soon arrived, accompanied by twelve chaperones, who created a path for her to walk through to the Duke. Upon seeing such an esteemed guest, he stepped forward to greet her with all the respect her position deserved. After she curtsied, she asked the Duke if it was true that the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha was among those present. The significance of her question was amplified by the way she spoke, as she used a deep and rough voice: "Is that knight immaculatissimus, Don Quixote de la Manchissima, and his squirissimus Panza, here with us?"

Before Don Quixote or any one else had had an opportunity to reply, Sancho opened his mouth and burst out: "The Panza is here, and Don Quixottissimus too; and so, most distressedest Duennissima, you may say what you willissimus, for we are all readissimus to do you any servissimus."

Before Don Quixote or anyone else could respond, Sancho spoke up and said: "The Panza is here, and Don Quixottissimus too; so, most distressed Duennissima, you can say whatever you want, because we are all ready to serve you."

Then Don Quixote stepped forward and begged the duenna to give him an account of her distress that he might know how to relieve it. The duenna became emotional almost beyond bounds. She thrust herself before Don [Pg 247] Quixote and embraced his legs, imploring his and his squire's help, and then began to tell her story of misery.

Then Don Quixote stepped forward and asked the duenna to share her troubles so he could figure out how to help her. The duenna became very emotional. She stepped in front of Don [Pg 247] Quixote and hugged his legs, begging for his and his squire's assistance, and then started to recount her tale of sorrow.

All the while the Duke and the Duchess were in paroxysms of laughter, so well did the duenna act her part. And their enjoyment was further heightened by the remarks and questions that Sancho interspersed here and there, always at the wrong moment and much to his master's chagrin.

All the while, the Duke and the Duchess were bursting into laughter, thanks to how well the duenna played her role. Their enjoyment was even greater because of the comments and questions Sancho threw in from time to time, always at the wrong moment and causing his master to feel frustrated.

The weeping duenna went on to tell how she had been the ranking duenna at the court of the dowager-queen of Kandy; how she had been entrusted with the care and the bringing up of the Princess Antonomasia, the young heiress of the kingdom, and how she had permitted a young gentleman at the court, who was enamored of the Princess, to gain her favor in such a degree that marriage followed. The young Don had captivated both the Princess and the duenna with his accomplishments, for not only did he play the guitar and write poetry, and dance, but he could as well make bird-cages. But when the Queen learned of her daughter's marriage to one so much beneath her in rank, her heart broke in twain and she collapsed and was buried in three days, the duenna declared, tears streaming down her face all the while.

The crying duenna went on to explain how she had been the head duenna at the court of the dowager queen of Kandy; how she had been responsible for raising the Princess Antonomasia, the young heiress of the kingdom, and how she had allowed a young gentleman at court, who was in love with the Princess, to win her affection to the point that they got married. The young Don had charmed both the Princess and the duenna with his skills, as he not only played the guitar and wrote poetry and danced but also made birdcages. But when the Queen found out about her daughter's marriage to someone so much lower in status, her heart broke and she collapsed; the duenna said, tears flowing down her face the entire time.

Sancho was curious at once, and wanted to have a doubt settled. "She died, no doubt?" he asked; and the duenna assured him that they did not bury the living in Kandy, only the dead. But Sancho thought it was a very stupid thing for the Old Queen to go and die thus; he said he could see no reason why she should have taken the whole thing so to heart, for the Princess might have married a [Pg 248] page. That, in Sancho's opinion, might have been an excuse for dying; but the Don was such an accomplished man, and a gentleman at that, who could even make bird-cages. Dying was too absurd!

Sancho was immediately curious and wanted to clear up a doubt. "She died, right?" he asked, and the duenna confirmed that they only buried the dead in Kandy, not the living. But Sancho thought it was really foolish for the Old Queen to die like that; he said he didn’t understand why she took it all so seriously, since the Princess could have married a [Pg 248] page. In Sancho’s view, that would have been a valid reason to die, but the Don was such a skilled man, a true gentleman, who could even make birdcages. Dying was just ridiculous!

Then the duenna resumed, and now came the worst of her story. She told how the two lovers, upon the Queen's death, had become enchanted by the giant Malambruno, the Queen's first cousin, who had sworn that they would not regain their right shapes until the famous and valiant knight of La Mancha had met him in single combat. Having sentenced them thus, he summoned all the duennas in the castle, charging them with the responsibility of the evil match, and saying that since he did not wish them to suffer death, he would punish them in some other way. Scarcely had the giant uttered these words before their faces began to sting, their pores opened, and when the duennas put their hands to their faces, they felt themselves punished in a most horrifying manner.

Then the duenna continued, and now came the worst part of her story. She explained how the two lovers, after the Queen's death, had been cursed by the giant Malambruno, the Queen's first cousin, who had sworn that they wouldn’t return to their true forms until the famous and brave knight from La Mancha faced him in a one-on-one battle. After sentencing them, he called all the duennas in the castle, blaming them for the ill-fated relationship, and said that, since he didn't want them to face death, he would punish them in another way. Hardly had the giant finished speaking when their faces began to sting, their pores opened up, and when the duennas touched their faces, they realized they were being punished in a truly horrific way.

Here the thirteen duennas raised their veils, and the Duke and his company were amazed to see that all the women were bearded. The Distressed Duenna raised a wail, and assured those present that had it not been that she had cried so much that she had no tears left, she would now shed them copiously, and she exclaimed: "Where, I ask, can a duenna with a beard go? What father or mother will pity her? Who will help her? For, if even when she has a smooth skin and a face tortured by a thousand kinds of cosmetics, she can hardly get anybody to love her, what will she do when she shows a countenance turned into a thicket? O duennas! It was an unlucky [Pg 249] moment when we were born and when our fathers begot us!"

Here the thirteen duenna lifted their veils, and the Duke and his group were shocked to see that all the women had beards. The Distressed Duenna let out a wail and told everyone that if she hadn’t cried so much that she had no tears left, she would be crying an ocean right now. She exclaimed: "Where, I ask, can a bearded duenna go? What father or mother will feel sorry for her? Who will help her? Because if even when she has smooth skin and a face tortured by all sorts of cosmetics, she can hardly get anyone to love her, what will she do when she has a face turned into a thicket? Oh, duenna! It was an unfortunate [Pg 249] moment when we were born and when our parents conceived us!"

As the unhappy duenna spoke these words, it seemed as if she were about to faint. With a deep and distressing moan, she covered her face with her hands.

As the sad duenna said this, it looked like she was about to pass out. Letting out a deep and agonizing groan, she hid her face in her hands.


CHAPTER XL

Of Matters Relating and Belonging to This Adventure and to This Memorable History

THE one who was most impressed by this sad story and enchantment was Sancho, who thought it a dastardly trick for any giant to do. Did not the enchanter know that it cost money to shave? In Sancho's opinion, it would have been infinitely better to have taken off a part of their noses, even if it would have given them an impediment of speech. The duennas replied that some of them had tried sticking-plaster in order to spare themselves the expense of shaving, but to jerk it off their faces, was a painful procedure, they said.

The one who was most moved by this sad story and enchantment was Sancho, who thought it was a low blow for any giant to do. Didn’t the enchanter realize that shaving costs money? In Sancho’s view, it would have been way better to just take off part of their noses, even if it messed up their speech a little. The duennas responded that some of them had tried using adhesive bandages to avoid the cost of shaving, but ripping them off their faces was a painful process, they said.

Don Quixote interrupted and declared that they would have to follow no such course, for he would rid them of their beards or he would pluck out his own in the land of the Moors. Such a noble declaration seemed to revive the Distressed Duenna. She came up to Don Quixote and told him that the giant Malambruno had been courteous enough to offer to send the famous wooden steed that the valiant Pierres used. Merlin had made it. This horse could go [Pg 250] through the air with a speed that carried its rider to the ends of the world overnight. It was steered by a peg in his forehead, she said, and this peg also served as a bridle. Furthermore, there was room for two—one in the saddle, and one on the croup.

Don Quixote interrupted and said they wouldn’t follow that plan, because he would either shave their beards or pull out his own in the land of the Moors. Such a noble statement seemed to revive the Distressed Duenna. She went up to Don Quixote and told him that the giant Malambruno had kindly offered to send the famous wooden horse that the brave Pierres used. Merlin had created it. This horse could fly through the air fast enough to take its rider to the ends of the world overnight. She said it was guided by a peg in its forehead, which also acted as a bridle. Plus, there was space for two—one in the saddle and one on the back.

"I should like to see him," said Sancho; "but to fancy that I am going to mount him, either in the saddle or on the croup, is to ask pears of an elm-tree. Let each one shave himself as best he can; I am not going to be bruised to get rid of any one's beard."

"I'd like to see him," said Sancho; "but thinking I'm going to ride him, whether in the saddle or on the back, is like expecting to harvest pears from an elm tree. Everyone should handle their own grooming; I’m not going to get hurt just so someone can deal with their beard."

But Countess Trifaldi insisted that Panza was indispensable to the shaving of the duennas; and when the Duchess had pleaded with him and he saw the Distressed Duenna's eyes fill with tears, he could hardly keep his own back. He bent to their will and resigned himself to his fate and the adventure of riding through the air on the croup of the mighty wooden steed.

But Countess Trifaldi insisted that Panza was essential for shaving the duennas; and when the Duchess had pleaded with him and he saw the Distressed Duenna's eyes welling up with tears, he could hardly hold back his own. He gave in to their request and accepted his fate and the adventure of flying through the air on the back of the powerful wooden horse.


CHAPTER XLI

The End of This Protracted Adventure

DON QUIXOTE was in a state of anxiety during the whole day for fear that Malambruno should not send the steed, but soon after nightfall there arrived in the garden four wild-men, clad in ivy, and carrying on their shoulders a large wooden horse. Don Quixote was summoned by the Distressed Duenna and he mounted the horse at once, not even putting on his spurs. By this time, [Pg 251] however, Sancho had changed his mind and decided that he was not going to fly through the air like a witch. But upon the earnest and courteous solicitations of the Duke, Sancho at last consented to ride with his master.

DON QUIXOTE was anxious all day, afraid that Malambruno wouldn't send the horse. But soon after nightfall, four wild men, dressed in ivy, arrived in the garden, carrying a large wooden horse on their shoulders. Don Quixote was called by the Distressed Duenna and immediately got on the horse, not even bothering to put on his spurs. By this time, [Pg 251] however, Sancho had changed his mind and decided he did not want to fly through the air like a witch. But after the Duke's sincere and polite requests, Sancho finally agreed to ride with his master.

Don Quixote begged Sancho to give himself five hundred lashes on behalf of his enchanted Dulcinea before they set off; but this request struck the squire as the absurdest one he had ever heard. How could his master expect him to sit on a hard wooden horse while he was all bruised and sore from the lashes? He did promise solemnly, however, that as soon as the duennas had been shaved he would turn to the fulfilling of the other debt.

Don Quixote asked Sancho to give himself five hundred lashes for the sake of his enchanted Dulcinea before they set off; but this request seemed like the most ridiculous thing the squire had ever heard. How could his master expect him to ride a hard wooden horse while he was all bruised and sore from the lashes? He did promise, though, that as soon as the duenna had been dealt with, he would focus on fulfilling the other obligation.

The Distressed Duenna blindfolded them, saying that doing so would prevent them from getting dizzy when they rose to great heights; and Sancho, trembling and tearful, complained that the croup was too hard and begged for a cushion. But the duenna answered him that the magic steed permitted no trappings of any kind, and she suggested that he place himself sideways like a woman, for no doubt he would feel the hardness less in that position.

The Distressed Duenna blindfolded them, saying that it would stop them from getting dizzy when they went to high altitudes; and Sancho, shaking and in tears, complained that the saddle was too hard and pleaded for a cushion. But the duenna told him that the magic horse allowed no gear of any kind, and she suggested that he sit sideways like a woman, as he would probably feel the hardness less that way.

Sancho did so; and then he uncovered his eyes and looked in a tender fashion on those he was leaving behind, and began to cry piteously. Don Quixote told him sharply to cover his eyes again and not to act like a fool and a coward; and his squire did as he was bidden, after having commended himself to God and begged the duennas to pray all the paternosters and ave-marias they could for him. They in turn admonished him to stick tight to the croup and not to lose hold of it, warning him that if he fell, [Pg 252] he would fall like a planet and be blinded by all the stars he would meet on his way down to Earth.

Sancho did as he was told; then he uncovered his eyes, looked back at those he was leaving behind with a sad expression, and began to cry uncontrollably. Don Quixote sharply told him to cover his eyes again and to stop acting foolish and cowardly; his squire obeyed, after asking God for protection and requesting the duennas to say as many prayers as they could for him. They, in turn, warned him to hold on tightly to the saddle and not let go, cautioning that if he fell, he would drop like a planet and be blinded by all the stars he encountered on his way down to Earth.

Sobbing, Sancho clung to his master, embracing him with his fat arms so tightly that Don Quixote came near being upset. The knight took a firm grip on the steering peg, and reprimanded his squire for squeezing him. He told him there was nothing to worry about, for it seemed to him he had never in his life ridden a steed that was so easy-going: one would hardly think they had budged from their original place, he said. When Sancho had calmed himself, he concurred in this opinion. He had never heard that there were people living in the air, and did he not hear voices quite close to his ears? Don Quixote then had to explain that affairs of this sort were not of the every-day kind, and that whenever one went on a trip like this, the voices from the Earth would reach thousands of leagues away.

Sobbing, Sancho held onto his master, hugging him with his plump arms so tightly that Don Quixote almost lost his balance. The knight took a firm grip on the reins and scolded his squire for squeezing him. He reassured Sancho that there was nothing to worry about, as he thought he had never ridden a horse as smooth as this one; it felt like they hadn’t moved from their original spot at all, he said. Once Sancho calmed down, he agreed with this view. He had never heard of people living in the air, yet he heard voices very close to his ears. Don Quixote then had to explain that these kinds of things weren't common, and that when one goes on a journey like this, voices from the Earth can be heard from thousands of leagues away.

Scarcely had Don Quixote said this, before a gust of wind came that threatened to unseat both the knight and his squire. (The fact was that it was the draught from a tremendous pair of bellows which the Duke had had unearthed for the occasion.) Sancho was shaking in his seat, and Don Quixote warned him again to sit still, for they were in danger of having a runaway straight into the regions of air and thunder, and then into the region of fire. He feared he might not get the steed to turn before it was too late, he said; for it seemed as if the machinery of the peg were rather intricate, and did not work quickly.

Scarcely had Don Quixote said this before a strong gust of wind came that nearly knocked both the knight and his squire off their seats. (The reality was that it was the draft from a massive pair of bellows that the Duke had unearthed for the occasion.) Sancho was trembling in his seat, and Don Quixote warned him again to sit still, as they were at risk of being thrown into the air and thunder, and then into the fire. He worried he might not be able to get the horse to turn before it was too late, saying it seemed as if the machinery of the peg was rather complicated and didn’t operate quickly.

Suddenly Sancho began to yell that they were already lost in the flames, and would be burned to death. (He [Pg 253] felt his beard being singed by a torch. It was one of a great number that the majordomo had provided.) Don Quixote, too, felt his face warm up. But he would not permit Sancho to uncover his eyes; if he did, the knight said he would only be seized with giddiness and both of them would fall off their horse. Besides, he comforted Sancho with the thought that the journey would last only a few moments longer, and that they were now passing a final test before landing in the kingdom of Kandy. Don Quixote added that the distance they had traveled must have been tremendous, and Sancho replied: "All I know is that if the Señora Magallanes or Magalona was satisfied with this croup, she could not have been very tender of flesh."

Suddenly, Sancho started yelling that they were already lost in the flames and would be burned alive. (He felt his beard being singed by a torch. It was one of many that the majordomo had provided.) Don Quixote also felt his face getting warm. But he wouldn’t let Sancho uncover his eyes; if he did, the knight said he would get dizzy and they would both fall off their horse. Besides, he reassured Sancho that the journey would only last a few moments longer and that they were now going through a final test before reaching the kingdom of Kandy. Don Quixote added that the distance they had traveled must have been huge, and Sancho replied: "All I know is that if Señora Magallanes or Magalona was happy with this horse, she couldn’t have been very delicate."

At this moment came the culmination of their journey through the air. A torch was tied to the tail of the steed, which was stuffed with fire-crackers, and suddenly there was a tremendous noise and a flash, and in the next moment Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, both scorched, lay as if thunderstruck on the ground.

At this moment, their journey through the sky reached its peak. A torch was tied to the back of the horse, filled with firecrackers, and suddenly there was a huge noise and a flash. In the next moment, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, both burned, were lying on the ground as if they had been struck by lightning.

When the knight and his squire finally came to, and looked about, they were aghast at what they saw. The ground was strewn with bodies, but the bearded duennas were gone. Planted in the ground they saw a lance, attached to which they found a parchment which proclaimed that the enchantment of the duennas and of the Don and his royal bride was at an end, and that as soon as the squire Sancho Panza deigned to carry out the flogging he was to give himself, the peerless Dulcinea would appear in all her original beauty again. [Pg 254]

When the knight and his squire finally regained consciousness and looked around, they were shocked by what they saw. The ground was covered with bodies, but the bearded women were gone. Stuck in the ground was a spear, and attached to it was a parchment declaring that the enchantment of the women and of the Don and his royal bride was over. It stated that as soon as the squire Sancho Panza completed the punishment he was supposed to give himself, the incomparable Dulcinea would appear in all her original beauty again. [Pg 254]

Now the Duke and the Duchess, who were among the bodies lying on the ground, seemingly dead, lifted up their heads, as if just coming out of a long sleep; and Don Quixote hastened to tell them of the great miracle that had befallen him. They were both convulsed with laughter—which Don Quixote mistook for emotion—and when he had finished telling them about his marvelous adventure, they had all they could do to reply. The Duke finally gathered enough strength to embrace him and tell him that he was no doubt the greatest knight the world had ever known.

Now the Duke and the Duchess, who were among the bodies lying on the ground, seemingly dead, lifted their heads as if they were just waking up from a long sleep. Don Quixote rushed to tell them about the amazing miracle that had happened to him. They both burst out laughing—which Don Quixote took to be emotion—and when he finished sharing his incredible adventure, they struggled to respond. The Duke finally mustered enough strength to hug him and tell him that he was undoubtedly the greatest knight the world had ever known.

The Duchess was curious to know how Sancho had enjoyed the trip; and he confessed that in spite of his master's command he had peered from underneath the kerchief before his eyes, and had seen the earth below, and that the people seemed as little as hazelnuts and the earth itself looked like a grain of mustard-seed; and when he passed through the region of fire he had seen the goats of heaven, he said.

The Duchess was eager to find out how Sancho had liked the trip; and he admitted that despite his master's order, he had peeked out from under the kerchief covering his eyes and had seen the ground below, where the people looked as tiny as hazelnuts and the land appeared like a grain of mustard seed. He added that when he passed through the fiery region, he saw the goats of heaven.


CHAPTER XLII

Of the Counsels Which Don Quixote Gave Sancho Panza Before He Set Out to Govern the Island, Together with Other Well-Considered Matters

THE heaven-riding adventure had been such a success that the Duke and the Duchess could not rest until they had seen Sancho installed as governor of his [Pg 255] island; for they felt certain they should derive a great fund of amusement from such an experiment. So Sancho was told to prepare himself.

THE heaven-riding adventure had been such a success that the Duke and the Duchess couldn’t relax until they saw Sancho become the governor of his [Pg 255] island; they were sure they would get a lot of entertainment from this experiment. So, Sancho was told to get ready.

But Sancho, having seen heaven, seemed less keen to be governor now, since he felt how small humanity really was, particularly in comparison with the goats of the sky which he claimed he had seen, and he replied that he would much rather have a bit of heaven than any island on earth. The Duke, however, told Sancho that, not being the ruler there, it was for God to dispose of such domains. So Sancho promised to come down to earth and be governor, and to attire himself in the regalia befitting the office.

But Sancho, having seen heaven, seemed less interested in being governor now, since he realized how small humanity really was, especially compared to the goats of the sky that he claimed to have seen. He replied that he would much rather have a piece of heaven than any island on earth. The Duke, however, told Sancho that, not being in charge there, it was up to God to decide who gets to have such domains. So Sancho promised to come back down to earth and be governor, and to wear the appropriate regalia for the office.

This being done, Don Quixote and Sancho withdrew to the knight's room, and there Don Quixote gave his squire advice about governing. He admonished him to be a champion of virtue always, to strive to know himself and not to puff himself up like a peacock, whose feathers, he bade him remember, were fine, but who had ugly feet. And the advice and instructions that master gave servant were such that no one would have thought it was a madman speaking.

This done, Don Quixote and Sancho went to the knight's room, where Don Quixote gave his squire some advice on how to rule. He warned him to always be a champion of virtue, to strive to understand himself, and not to show off like a peacock, whose feathers are beautiful but whose feet are ugly. The advice and instructions that the master gave the servant were so wise that no one would have thought a madman was speaking.


CHAPTER XLIII

Of the Second Set of Counsels Don Quixote Gave Sancho Panza

DON QUIXOTE then told his squire to forget neither to cut his nails nor to supply his servants with livery. The latter, he said, must be neat and never showy. If he could do with three servants instead of six, [Pg 256] he advised him to clothe three poor men: thus he would have pages for heaven as well as for earth. He must never eat garlic or onions, the knight said, and he begged him to leave out all affectations. When it came to drinking, he asked him always to bear in mind that too much wine kept neither secrets nor promises. Another thing he must not do was to flatter people; Don Quixote considered this a very odious practice. Last, but not least, said Don Quixote, he must remember not to use such quantities of proverbs as he had been wont to.

DON QUIXOTE then instructed his squire not to forget to trim his nails and to provide his servants with uniforms. He emphasized that the uniforms should be clean but not flashy. If he could manage with three servants instead of six, [Pg 256] he suggested he should dress three poor men: this way, he would have pages for both heaven and earth. He advised that he should never eat garlic or onions and requested he avoid all pretentiousness. When it came to drinking, he reminded him that too much wine would reveal neither secrets nor promises. Another thing he should avoid is flattering people; Don Quixote found this practice very distasteful. Last but not least, Don Quixote said he should remember not to use so many proverbs as he usually did.

Here Sancho felt he had to break in and say a word, and he retorted: "God alone can cure that, for I have more proverbs in me than a book, and when I speak they fall to fighting among themselves to get out; that's why my tongue lets fly the first that comes, though it may not be pat to the purpose." And here Sancho in the very face of his master's admonitions, let go a string of proverbs so long that Don Quixote was almost in despair.

Here, Sancho felt he had to chime in and said, "Only God can fix that, because I have more proverbs in me than in a book, and when I start speaking, they all fight to get out; that's why my tongue just goes with the first one that comes to mind, even if it's not quite relevant." And despite his master's warnings, Sancho unleashed a barrage of proverbs so long that Don Quixote was nearly in despair.

"My mother beats me, and I go on with my tricks," said Don Quixote. "I am bidding thee avoid proverbs, and here in a second thou hast shot out a whole litany of them. Those proverbs will bring thee to the gallows some day, I promise thee." [Pg 257]

"My mom hits me, and I keep doing my antics," said Don Quixote. "I'm telling you to steer clear of proverbs, and in a blink, you've rattled off a whole bunch of them. Those proverbs will get you hanged one day, I guarantee it." [Pg 257]


CHAPTER XLIV

How Sancho Panza Was Conducted to His Government; and of the Strange Adventure That Befell Don Quixote in the Castle

BEFORE Sancho departed for his island—which was in reality a village belonging to his new master's duchy, and surrounded by land on all sides—Don Quixote wrote out carefully the advice he had given him in the morning of the same day. To escort the new governor to the village the Duke had chosen the majordomo, who had played the part of the Countess Trifaldi; and the moment Sancho saw his face and heard him speak, he confided to to his master the resemblance in voice and appearance.

BEFORE Sancho left for his island—which was actually a village in his new master's duchy, completely surrounded by land—Don Quixote carefully wrote down the advice he had given him earlier that same day. The Duke had chosen the majordomo, who had portrayed the Countess Trifaldi, to accompany the new governor to the village. As soon as Sancho saw his face and heard him talk, he told his master about the striking resemblance in both voice and looks.

Always suspicious of enchanters, Don Quixote bade his late squire to keep a sharp eye on the man, and to be sure to inform him whether anything happened that confirmed his suspicion.

Always suspicious of sorcerers, Don Quixote told his former squire to keep a close lookout on the guy and to make sure to let him know if anything happened that supported his suspicion.

Then Sancho was dressed in the garb of a lawyer and mounted on a mule. Dapple followed behind with new trappings, and Sancho was so pleased with the appearance of Dapple that he could not help turning around from time to time to look at him. Don Quixote wept when it came to the leave-taking, and Sancho kissed devotedly the hands of the Duchess and the Duke.

Then Sancho was dressed like a lawyer and got on a mule. Dapple followed behind with new gear, and Sancho was so happy with how Dapple looked that he couldn’t help turning around to check him out from time to time. Don Quixote cried during the farewell, and Sancho kissed the hands of the Duchess and the Duke with devotion.

But as soon as Sancho had left, Don Quixote felt a great loneliness in his heart; and that night, after having supped with the ducal pair, he begged to be excused early [Pg 258] and retired to his room, saying he wanted no servant to wait on him.

But as soon as Sancho left, Don Quixote felt a deep loneliness in his heart; and that night, after having dinner with the duke and duchess, he asked to be excused early [Pg 258] and went to his room, saying he didn’t want anyone to wait on him.

He undressed at once, and went to bed, leaving the window overlooking the garden open. Soon he heard the voices of two young maidens, and he was surprised to hear that they were speaking of him. One of them he recognized as the fair Altisidora, and, persuaded by the other voice, she commenced to serenade the knight, to whom in her song she bared her aching heart, and the passion that burned there for him.

He took off his clothes right away and went to bed, leaving the window overlooking the garden open. Soon, he heard the voices of two young women, and he was surprised to realize they were talking about him. He recognized one of them as the fair Altisidora, and, encouraged by the other voice, she began to serenade the knight, revealing her aching heart and the passion she felt for him in her song.

But the knight could not be moved. His was a love for no one but his Dulcinea. To indicate to the young maiden that he was aware of her intentions and could not be swayed, he rose from his bed, and went to the window and feigned a sneeze. When that was of no avail and neither produced reticence in the maidens nor drove them away from his window, he sighed: "O what an unlucky knight I am that no damsel can set eyes on me but falls in love with me!" And he went on to bewail his fate, crying out in the night that all the empresses in the world were jealous of the love he bore in his heart for the sweet Dulcinea, and saying that he must and would remain hers, pure, courteous, and chaste, in spite of all the magic-working powers on earth.

But the knight couldn't be swayed. His heart was only for his Dulcinea. To show the young woman that he was aware of her feelings and couldn’t be influenced, he got out of bed, went to the window, and pretended to sneeze. When that had no effect and didn’t cause the girls to hesitate or leave his window, he sighed: "Oh, what an unfortunate knight I am that every lady who sees me falls in love with me!" He continued to lament his fate, crying out in the night that all the empresses in the world were jealous of the love he held in his heart for sweet Dulcinea, insisting that he must and would remain hers—pure, polite, and chaste—despite all the magical powers on earth.

Then the worthy knight shut his window with a bang, and thrust himself on his bed, entirely out of patience with the enticing and sinful young maidens. [Pg 259]

Then the noble knight slammed his window shut and threw himself onto his bed, completely fed up with the tempting and sinful young maidens. [Pg 259]


CHAPTER XLV

Of How the Great Sancho Panza Took Possession of His Island; and of How He Made a Beginning in Governing

WHEN Sancho arrived in his village he learned that his island was called Barataria. He was greeted with great demonstrations: the whole community had turned out to meet him, and all the churchbells were ringing. He was first taken to the church, where he gave thanks to God; then he was presented with the keys of the town. From the church he was taken to the judgment seat outside, and there he was told to answer numerous questions which the majordomo put to him, saying that that was an ancient custom on taking office.

WHEN Sancho got back to his village, he found out that his island was called Barataria. He was welcomed with huge celebrations: the whole community came out to see him, and all the church bells were ringing. First, he was taken to the church, where he thanked God; then he was handed the keys to the town. After the church, he was led to the judgment seat outside, where he had to answer a lot of questions that the majordomo asked him, saying that this was an old tradition for when someone took office.

The questions were cases of quarrels between the villagers, and Sancho answered each one of them so sagely that every one gaped in wonder, for, judging by his appearance and the way he talked, they had thought their governor a fool. Instead of thinking thus, they now began to admire him and to consider themselves lucky and blessed by having him in their midst. [Pg 260]

The questions were arguments among the villagers, and Sancho answered each one of them so wisely that everyone was amazed. Based on his looks and the way he spoke, they had thought their governor was a fool. Instead of thinking that way, they now started to respect him and felt fortunate and grateful to have him among them. [Pg 260]


CHAPTER XLVI

Of the Terrible Bell and Cat Fright That Don Quixote Got in the Course of the Enamored Altisidora's Wooing

THE thought of Altisidora's love bothered Don Quixote so that he could not go to sleep. He had torn his green stockings, while undressing, and having neither needle nor thread he could not mend them, and this increased his annoyance. Soon it was morning, and to put an end to his agony, he rose and dressed himself. But on his way to the ante-chamber, where the Duke and Duchess would receive him, he passed through a gallery, where he was surprised to find the fair Altisidora and her friend who had been with her outside his window the night before.

THE thought of Altisidora's love troubled Don Quixote so much that he couldn’t sleep. He had torn his green stockings while getting undressed, and without a needle or thread, he couldn’t fix them, which only added to his irritation. Soon, morning came, and to escape his torment, he got up and got dressed. On his way to the ante-chamber, where the Duke and Duchess would see him, he walked through a gallery, where he was surprised to find the beautiful Altisidora and her friend who had been outside his window the night before.

When Altisidora laid eyes on the knight errant, she fell in a dead faint, but was caught in the arms of her friend, who began to unlace her dress. Don Quixote remained cold and untouched, mumbling all the while to himself that he knew perfectly well why she had fainted. Her friend retorted with venom in her voice that she wished he would disappear from the castle, for if he remained there much longer Altisidora would be wasting away into nothingness—even if she were the healthiest and most buxom maiden there at the moment—and die from a broken heart. This seemed to touch Don Quixote, for he replied that if she would see to it that a lute was put in his room [Pg 261] that night, he would sing to her and try to comfort her in the night while she stood outside his window.

When Altisidora saw the knight errant, she completely fainted, but her friend caught her in her arms and started to unlace her dress. Don Quixote remained indifferent and kept mumbling to himself, saying he knew exactly why she had fainted. Her friend shot back, anger evident in her voice, wishing he would just leave the castle. She warned that if he stayed there any longer, Altisidora would waste away—even though she was the healthiest and most attractive girl there—and die of a broken heart. This seemed to affect Don Quixote, and he replied that if she would make sure a lute was placed in his room [Pg 261] that night, he would sing to her and try to comfort her while she stood outside his window.

The damsels went at once to tell the Duchess what had happened, and she was pleased beyond words; and together they hit upon a new joke which would bring them fresh merriment.

The ladies immediately went to tell the Duchess what had happened, and she was incredibly happy; together, they came up with a new joke that would bring them more fun.

Just before midnight Don Quixote came to his chamber and found there a guitar; and, having tuned it as best he could, he began to let out his rusty voice into the notes of a ballad that he himself had composed that day. While he stood there on his balcony singing, there suddenly broke out a tremendous din; and from above was let down a cord to which hundreds of bells were attached, making the most deafening sound. At the same time a bag of cats, each with a bell tied to its tail, came shooting down upon the unfortunate knight, who was frightened beyond words by the meowing and squalling and screaming of the cats and by the jingling of the bells.

Just before midnight, Don Quixote entered his room and found a guitar. After tuning it as best as he could, he started to sing a ballad he had composed that day, using his rusty voice. While he was on his balcony singing, a loud noise suddenly erupted. A cord was lowered from above, attached to hundreds of bells, creating a deafening sound. At the same time, a bag of cats, each with a bell tied to its tail, came tumbling down on the unfortunate knight, who was scared out of his wits by the meowing, yowling, and screeching of the cats and the clanging of the bells.

Don Quixote stood paralyzed, with the guitar clutched in his hand, when suddenly it struck him that his room must have been invaded by jumping devils—for the cats had knocked the candles down on the floor, extinguishing them as they did so, and the room was now in pitch darkness. He suddenly flung his guitar away and drew his sword, charging the enchanters with all the fervor and energy that he possessed.

Don Quixote stood frozen, holding the guitar tightly in his hand, when it suddenly hit him that his room must have been invaded by jumping devils—because the cats had knocked the candles down onto the floor, putting them out as they did, and the room was now completely dark. He abruptly threw his guitar aside and pulled out his sword, rushing at the enchanters with all the passion and energy he had.

All the cats flew toward the balcony, from where they escaped into the garden—all except one, which Don Quixote had cornered, and was making violent stabs at, without hitting anything but the air, the wall and the floor. [Pg 262] This little beast, fighting for its life, like one beset, jumped at the knight, put its teeth and claws into his nose, and remained there, holding on infuriated, while Don Quixote gave out the most terrible screams and howls.

All the cats rushed toward the balcony, where they escaped into the garden—all except one, which Don Quixote had trapped and was wildly swiping at, hitting nothing but the air, the wall, and the floor. [Pg 262] This little creature, fighting for its life, jumped at the knight, sank its teeth and claws into his nose, and hung on furiously while Don Quixote let out the most terrible screams and howls.

When the Duke and the Duchess heard what was going on, they became afraid that some harm might be done the knight errant; so they ran to his chamber with all haste. The Duke rushed to the rescue of Don Quixote's nose; but in spite of the horrible pain he must have been in, the knight was brave enough to decline all aid, shouting aloud that he wished to fight the malignant enchanter alone. At last, however, the Duke could see the poor fellow suffer no longer, and he managed to separate the cat from Don Quixote's nose.

When the Duke and the Duchess heard what was happening, they got worried that the knight errant might be harmed, so they hurried to his room. The Duke rushed to save Don Quixote’s nose; but despite the intense pain he must have been in, the knight was brave enough to refuse any help, shouting that he wanted to fight the evil enchanter by himself. Finally, though, the Duke couldn't watch the poor guy suffer anymore, and he managed to get the cat off Don Quixote's nose.

The fair Altisidora was given the task to cover the damaged parts of the knight's face with ointment, and she did this with a loving and caressing hand, although she could not resist telling him that he would not have been in this predicament if he had listened to her the night before. She jealously hoped, too, that his squire Sancho would forget all about the whippings so that Dulcinea would remain enchanted forever. But Don Quixote was insensible to anything she said; he only sighed and sighed. And then he thanked the Duke and the Duchess for all their kindness; and they really felt sorry in their hearts for the end the joke had taken. They bade him good-night; he stretched himself on his bed; and there he remained for five days. [Pg 263]

The beautiful Altisidora was tasked with applying ointment to the knight's injured face, and she did so with a gentle and affectionate touch, although she couldn’t help but remind him that he wouldn't be in this situation if he had listened to her the night before. She secretly hoped that his squire Sancho would forget all about the beatings so that Dulcinea would stay enchanted forever. But Don Quixote was oblivious to anything she said; he just kept sighing. Then he expressed his gratitude to the Duke and Duchess for all their kindness, and they truly felt sorry for how the joke turned out. They wished him goodnight, he lay down on his bed, and there he stayed for five days. [Pg 263]


CHAPTER XLVII

Wherein Is Continued the Account of How Sancho Panza Conducted Himself in His Government

HAVING held court, Sancho was escorted to a magnificent palace, where dinner had been laid in a large and gorgeous chamber. There were numerous ceremonies that he had to pass through as he entered; but he went through them all undisturbed and with phlegmatic dignity. He was seated at the head of the table, his own guest of honor as it were, for he found he was the only one present there, excepting a number of pages who surrounded him. But then he discovered behind himself a gentleman who turned out to be a physician, and who soon aroused Sancho's ire. For every time a dish was passed to Sancho, it had first to be passed upon by the physician; and this dignitary seemed to have made up his mind that governors were not meant to live, for every dish was sent back to the kitchen, and Sancho found that a governor's meal consisted in starvation.

HAVING held court, Sancho was taken to a stunning palace, where dinner was prepared in a large and beautiful room. He had to go through several ceremonies as he arrived, but he handled them all calmly and with steady dignity. He was seated at the head of the table, practically his own guest of honor, since he realized he was the only one there, apart from a group of pages who surrounded him. However, he soon noticed a gentleman behind him who turned out to be a doctor, and he quickly annoyed Sancho. Every time a dish was offered to Sancho, it first had to be approved by the doctor; and this official seemed determined that governors weren't meant to eat, as every dish was sent back to the kitchen, leaving Sancho with nothing but starvation for his meal.

This finally enraged the new governor so that he ordered the doctor out of his sight, threatening to break a chair over his head if he did not disappear quickly enough; but just at that moment there arrived a messenger with a letter for the Governor from the Duke, and Sancho became so excited that he forgot about his physician's expulsion for the moment. The majordomo read the letter, which [Pg 264] was addressed to the Governor of the Island of Barataria. In it the Duke warned Sancho that attacks would be made upon the island some night in the near future by enemies of the Duke, and also, the Duke said, he had learned that four men had entered the town in disguise, and that they would make an attempt upon the Governor's life. He therefore cautioned Sancho to eat nothing that was offered to him.

This finally made the new governor so angry that he ordered the doctor to get out of his sight, threatening to break a chair over his head if he didn’t leave quickly enough. But just at that moment, a messenger arrived with a letter for the Governor from the Duke, and Sancho got so excited that he momentarily forgot about the doctor being kicked out. The majordomo read the letter, which [Pg 264] was addressed to the Governor of the Island of Barataria. In it, the Duke warned Sancho that there would be attacks on the island some night soon by enemies of the Duke, and also mentioned that he had learned four men had entered the town in disguise and were plotting to kill the Governor. He therefore advised Sancho not to eat anything that was offered to him.

At once Sancho decided that the worst conspirator against his life was the physician, who wanted to kill him by the slow death of hunger. He said he thought it best to have him thrust into a dungeon. And then he asked for a piece of bread and four pounds of grapes, feeling sure that no poison would be in them, announcing at the same time as his maxim that if he were going to be able to combat enemies he would have to be well fed.

At that moment, Sancho concluded that the biggest threat to his life was the doctor, who was trying to kill him slowly by starvation. He said he thought it would be best to throw the doctor in a dungeon. Then he asked for a piece of bread and four pounds of grapes, confident that there wouldn't be any poison in them, stating at the same time his belief that if he was going to fight his enemies, he needed to be well-fed.

He then turned to the messenger and bade him say to the Duke that his wishes would be obeyed; at the same time he sent a request to the Duchess that she should not forget to have the letter he had written to his Teresa Panza delivered, together with the bundle, by a messenger. Last but not least, he asked to be remembered to his beloved master Don Quixote by a kiss of the hand. [Pg 265]

He then turned to the messenger and asked him to tell the Duke that his wishes would be fulfilled; at the same time, he requested the Duchess not to forget to have the letter he wrote to his Teresa Panza delivered, along with the bundle, by a messenger. Lastly, he asked to be remembered to his beloved master Don Quixote with a kiss of the hand. [Pg 265]


CHAPTERS XLVIII-XLIX

Of What Happened to Sancho in Making the Round of His Island

AT last the physician felt it to his advantage to consent to prescribe a good supper for the Governor that evening. The day had been taken up with all sorts of applicants, who, it seemed to Sancho, would always arrive at the wrong time, either when he was about to eat or wanted to sleep.

AT last, the doctor thought it would be a good idea to agree to prepare a nice dinner for the Governor that evening. Sancho felt that the day had been filled with all sorts of visitors, who always seemed to show up at the worst times—either just when he was about to eat or when he wanted to sleep.

The supper hour, which Sancho had been longing for all that day arrived at last, and he was delighted with the beef, salad, onions, and calves' feet that were put before him. He told the doctor that for the future he ought never to trouble himself about giving him dainty dishes and choice food to eat, for it would only unhinge his stomach. Then to the head-carver he said: "What you had best do is to serve me with what they call ollas podridas—and the rottener they are the better they smell!" The others he addressed proverbially thus: "But let nobody play pranks on me, for either we are or we are not. Let us live and eat in peace and good fellowship, for when God sends the dawn, he sends it for all. I mean to govern this island without giving up a right or taking a bribe. Let every one keep his eye open, and look out for the arrow; for I can tell them 'the devil is in Cantillana,' and if they drive me to it they [Pg 266] shall see something that will astonish them. Nay, make yourself honey and the flies will eat you."

The dinner hour, which Sancho had been eagerly waiting for all day, finally arrived, and he was thrilled with the beef, salad, onions, and calves' feet that were served to him. He told the doctor that from now on, he shouldn’t bother bringing him fancy dishes and gourmet food, because it would just upset his stomach. Then he turned to the head-carver and said, "What you should really do is serve me what they call ollas podridas—and the more rotten they are, the better they smell!" He addressed the others proverbially: "But don’t play tricks on me, because either we are or we aren’t. Let’s live and eat in peace and harmony, because when God sends the dawn, he sends it for everyone. I plan to run this island without giving up any rights or accepting bribes. Everyone should stay alert and watch for trouble; because I can tell them 'the devil is in Cantillana,' and if they push me, they’ll see something that will surprise them. Besides, be sweet like honey and the flies will come for you."

In reply to this the head-carver took it upon himself to speak for the rest of the inhabitants on the island, assuring Sancho that every one was greatly pleased with his mild government, and that he already stood high in their affections.

In response to this, the head carver decided to speak for the other residents of the island, assuring Sancho that everyone was really happy with his gentle leadership and that he already held a special place in their hearts.

This brought forth a declaration from Sancho that if the people were not pleased with his government, they would be fools; and then he went on to state that he intended to see to it himself that the island was purged of everything unclean and of all idlers and vagabonds. The latter he compared to the drones in a hive, that eat up the honey the industrious bees make. Furthermore, he emphasized that he would encourage and reward the virtuous, and protect the church and its ministers.

This led Sancho to declare that if people weren't happy with his leadership, they must be foolish; and he added that he planned to personally ensure the island was free of anything dirty and all lazy people and wanderers. He likened the latter to drones in a hive that consume the honey made by hardworking bees. Moreover, he stressed that he would support and reward those who are virtuous, as well as protect the church and its ministers.

The majordomo was genuinely filled with admiration for all the excellent ideas and remarks of the new governor, particularly when he considered that he was a man without either education or culture; and he could not help admitting to himself that even a joke could sometimes become a reality, and that those who had played a joke on some one might live to find themselves the victims of the very same joke.

The head servant was truly impressed by all the great ideas and comments of the new governor, especially when he thought about how he was a man without any education or refinement; and he couldn’t help but acknowledge to himself that even a joke could occasionally turn into reality, and that those who had pranked someone might eventually become the targets of the very same prank.

That night the Governor as usual made his rounds, accompanied by the majordomo and his whole staff, including the chronicler, who was to record the deeds of Governor Don Sancho Panza; and before the night was over he had given fresh proof of his wisdom, for he settled a quarrel between two gamblers and decided to break up gambling [Pg 267] on his island. He kept a youth out of jail. And he restored a young girl, who wanted to see the world as a boy, to her father.

That night, as usual, the Governor made his rounds, accompanied by the majordomo and his entire staff, including the chronicler, who was there to document the actions of Governor Don Sancho Panza. Before the night ended, he demonstrated his wisdom by resolving a dispute between two gamblers and deciding to ban gambling [Pg 267] on his island. He kept a young man out of jail and returned a young girl, who wanted to explore the world like a boy, to her father.


CHAPTER L

Wherein Is Set Forth How Governor Sancho Panza's Wife Received a Message and a Gift from the Duchess; and also What Befell the Page Who Carried the Letter to Teresa Panza

THE Duchess did not forget her promise, and she sent the page who had played the part of Dulcinea when the Devil entered a plea for her disenchantment, with Governor Sancho's letter and bundle to his wife. At the same time the Duchess entrusted him with a string of coral beads as a gift from herself to Teresa Panza, with which gift went a letter as well.

THE Duchess kept her promise and sent the page who had acted as Dulcinea when the Devil sought her disenchantment, along with Governor Sancho's letter and package for his wife. At the same time, the Duchess gave him a string of coral beads as a gift from her to Teresa Panza, along with a letter as well.

When the page reached the village of La Mancha he saw, on entering it, some women washing clothes in a brook; and he found that one of them was no other than the Governor's young daughter. She eagerly ran to the good-looking young man, and, breathless with excitement at the thought of his having news from her father, she skipped along in front of him until they had reached their little house.

When the page arrived at the village of La Mancha, he saw some women washing clothes in a stream as he entered. He realized that one of them was the Governor's young daughter. She eagerly ran to the handsome young man, and breathless with excitement at the idea that he might have news from her father, she skipped ahead of him until they reached their small house.

Teresa Panza was spinning, and she came out in a gray petticoat, vigorous, sunburnt and healthy, and wanted to [Pg 268] know what all the excitement was about. The page quickly jumped from his horse, thrust himself on his knees before her, and exclaimed to the bewildered woman: "Let me kiss your hand, Señora Doña Panza, as the lawful and only wife of Señor Don Sancho Panza, rightful governor of the island of Barataria."

Teresa Panza was spinning when she stepped out in a gray petticoat, strong, sun-kissed, and healthy, and wanted to [Pg 268] know what all the fuss was about. The page quickly jumped off his horse, dropped to his knees in front of her, and exclaimed to the confused woman: "Allow me to kiss your hand, Señora Doña Panza, as the rightful and only wife of Señor Don Sancho Panza, the rightful governor of the island of Barataria."

But by this time the poor woman had got over her first surprise, and she bade him rise, saying that he should not do things like that, and that she was only a poor country woman, and the wife of a squire errant, not a governor. However, when the page had given her the letters and the gifts, her doubts were crushed, and she decided that Sancho's master must have given her husband the government he had promised him, the one that Sancho had been talking about all the time. And then she asked the page to read the letters to her, since she herself had not learned that art, although she could spin, she said.

But by this time, the poor woman had gotten over her initial shock and told him to get up, saying he shouldn’t act like that and that she was just a poor country woman, the wife of a wandering knight, not a governor. However, when the page handed her the letters and the gifts, her doubts vanished, and she concluded that Sancho's master must have given her husband the governorship he had promised, the one Sancho had been talking about constantly. She then asked the page to read the letters to her, since she hadn’t learned how to read, even though she could spin, she said.

When the page had finished reading the Duchess' letter, poor Teresa Panza was overcome with gratitude to the gracious lady who had made her husband, a poor illiterate booby, governor—and a good one besides—and who had deigned to ask her, humble woman that she was, for a couple of dozen or so of acorns.

When the page finished reading the Duchess's letter, poor Teresa Panza was filled with gratitude for the kind lady who had made her husband, a simple uneducated guy, a governor—and a good one at that—and who had taken the time to ask her, just an ordinary woman, for a few dozen acorns.

"Ah, what a good, plain, lowly lady!" she exclaimed. "May I be buried with ladies of that sort, and not with the gentlewomen we have in this town, that fancy, because they are gentlewomen, the wind must not touch them, and go to church with as much airs as if they were queens, no less, and who seem to think they are disgraced if they look as a farmer's wife! And see here how this good lady, for [Pg 269] all she is a Duchess, calls me her friend, and treats me as if I were her equal!"

"Ah, what a wonderful, down-to-earth lady!" she exclaimed. "I’d rather be buried with women like her than with the upper-class ladies in this town who think that just because they’re upper-class, the wind shouldn’t touch them. They go to church acting all posh, as if they were queens, and seem to believe they’d be embarrassed if they looked like a farmer's wife! And look how this good lady, even though she’s a Duchess, calls me her friend and treats me like I’m her equal!"

Then she told her Sanchica to make ready a meal, with plenty of eggs and bacon, for the lad who had brought them such good news, while she herself ran out and told the neighbors of their great luck. Soon Samson Carrasco and the curate came to the house, having heard the news, and wanted to know what madness had taken possession of Sancho's wife. But when they had read the letters and had seen the presents, they themselves were perplexed, and did not know what to make of it; and when they had met the page and he had confirmed everything that was said in the letters, they were convinced, although they were at a loss to understand how it all had come to happen.

Then she told her servant Sanchica to prepare a meal with lots of eggs and bacon for the guy who brought them such good news, while she herself ran out to tell the neighbors about their incredible luck. Soon, Samson Carrasco and the curate arrived at the house, having heard the news, and wanted to know what madness had taken over Sancho's wife. But once they read the letters and saw the gifts, they were just as confused and didn’t know what to think; and when they met the page and he confirmed everything stated in the letters, they believed it, even though they couldn’t understand how it all came to be.

The Duchess' asking for a few acorns, they could not quite comprehend, but even this was soon explained, for the page assured them that his lady, the Duchess, was so plain and unassuming that she had even been known to have borrowed a comb from a peasant-woman neighbor on one occasion; and he added that the ladies of Aragon were not nearly as stiff and arrogant as those of Castile.

The Duchess asking for some acorns was a bit confusing for them, but it was quickly clarified. The page explained that his lady, the Duchess, was so down-to-earth and humble that she had even borrowed a comb from a nearby peasant woman once. He also mentioned that the women of Aragon were not nearly as stiff and arrogant as those from Castile.

Sanchica's greatest concern centered around her father's legs. She was anxious to learn how he covered them, now that he had become governor. She was hoping that he would wear trunk-hose, for she had always had a secret longing, she said, to see her father in tights; "What a sight he must be in them!" she added.

Sanchica's biggest worry was about her father's legs. She was eager to find out how he dressed them now that he was governor. She hoped he would wear trunk-hose because she had always secretly wanted to see her dad in tights; "He must look amazing in them!" she added.

The page replied that he had not observed her father's legs or how they were dressed; but the joking way in which he gave his answer furnished the curate and the bachelor [Pg 270] with a fresh doubt as to the reality of the governorship and Sancho's position. Yet they could not forget the coral beads and the fine hunting-suit that the page had brought, and which pointed to some truth in the matter.

The page replied that he hadn't noticed her father's legs or how he was dressed; but the joking way he answered gave the curate and the bachelor [Pg 270] a new reason to doubt the reality of the governorship and Sancho's role. Still, they couldn't forget the coral beads and the nice hunting outfit the page had brought, which suggested there was some truth to it all.

Sanchica was anxious to make the trip to her father's island at once with the messenger, who told them he had to leave that evening; and Teresa Panza wanted to know whether the curate had heard of any one in the village going to Madrid or Toledo, for she thought that she at least ought to provide herself with a hooped petticoat, now that she was the wife of a distinguished governor and no doubt destined to be made a countess.

Sanchica was eager to go to her father's island immediately with the messenger, who said he had to leave that evening; and Teresa Panza wanted to know if the curate had heard of anyone in the village going to Madrid or Toledo, because she thought she should at least get a hooped petticoat now that she was the wife of a prominent governor and likely to become a countess.

And while mother and daughter were contemplating and worrying about their new position in life, they interspersed their sentences with so many proverbs that the curate felt obliged to remark that he thought that all the Panzas were born with a sackful of proverbs in their insides. The page told them here that the Governor uttered them most frequently and spontaneously, much to the amusement of the Duke and the Duchess; and then he reminded the Governor's lady of his hunger. But the curate softly took him by the arm and whispered to him that poor Teresa Panza had more will to serve than she had means, and invited him to sup at his own house.

And while the mother and daughter were thinking about and worrying over their new situation in life, they filled their conversations with so many proverbs that the curate felt he had to point out that he believed all the Panzas were born with a sack full of proverbs inside them. The page then told them that the Governor used them the most, and spontaneously, which amused the Duke and the Duchess. He also reminded the Governor's wife about his hunger. But the curate gently took him by the arm and whispered that poor Teresa Panza had more desire to help than she had resources, and invited him to dinner at his own house.

In order not to lose weight or starve, the page consented; and the curate was glad to have an opportunity to talk with him alone.

In order to avoid losing weight or starving, the page agreed; and the curate was happy to have a chance to talk with him privately.

Sanchica again expressed her desire to travel with the page; and the page tried to persuade her not to come along, for, he said, the daughters of governors must travel in a [Pg 271] coach and in style, with many attendants. The girl thought that was nonsense, however, and it was not until her mother hushed her up with her proverbial logic that she ceased arguing. Said mother Teresa Panza to her daughter: "As the time so the behavior: when it was Sancho it was Sanchica, when it is governor it is señorita." And that settled it.

Sanchica once again shared her wish to travel with the page, but the page tried to convince her not to join him. He explained that the daughters of governors should travel in a [Pg 271] coach and with many attendants. The girl thought that was ridiculous, but it wasn't until her mother silenced her with her usual reasoning that she stopped arguing. Mother Teresa Panza told her daughter, "As the time dictates, so does the behavior: when it was Sancho, it was Sanchica; now that it's a governor, it’s señorita." And that put an end to it.

The bachelor offered to write letters for Teresa Panza to her husband and the Duchess; but, somehow, she did not seem to trust him, for she refused his offer. Instead she induced a young acolyte to write the epistles for her, paying him with the eggs which she was to have used for the page's supper.

The bachelor offered to write letters for Teresa Panza to send to her husband and the Duchess; however, she didn’t seem to trust him, so she declined his offer. Instead, she convinced a young acolyte to write the letters for her, paying him with the eggs she was supposed to use for the page’s dinner.


CHAPTER LI

Of the Progress of Sancho's Government; and Other Such Entertaining Matters

THE thing that troubled Sancho most was not his manifold duties nor his judgments, but his appetite. It was as keen as ever, yet he got next to nothing to eat. The morning after he had made his round, they gave him only some water and a little conserve for breakfast, the doctor advising him that light food was the most nourishing for the wits, and especially to be recommended to people who were placed in responsible positions—such as governors, for instance. Thus poor Sancho was persuaded to submit to a process of starvation which was gradually [Pg 272] making him regret, and finally curse, his ever having become governor.

THE thing that bothered Sancho the most wasn’t his many responsibilities or his decisions, but his hunger. His appetite was as strong as ever, yet he barely got anything to eat. The morning after his rounds, he was given only some water and a bit of jam for breakfast, with the doctor recommending that light food was best for the mind, especially for people in important positions—like governors, for example. So, poor Sancho was convinced to endure a kind of starvation that made him, over time, regret and ultimately curse ever becoming governor.

He sat in judgment that day but a short time, and made a decision in an intricate case with so much good sense and wit that the majordomo was overwhelmed with admiration, and could not refrain from taking pity on the governor's stomach. So he stood up and announced, knowing it would have the Governor's immediate and unqualified sanction, that the session had come to an end for the morning; then turning to Sancho, he promised to give him a dinner that day that would please him.

He presided over the case that day for only a short while and made a decision in a complex matter with such good judgment and cleverness that the chief steward was filled with admiration and couldn't help but feel sympathy for the governor's hunger. So he stood up and declared, knowing it would get the Governor's full approval, that the morning session was over; then turning to Sancho, he promised to treat him to a dinner that would make him happy.

Sancho was grateful in advance, and felt moved to thank him. "That is all I ask for," he declared: "fair play! Give me my dinner, and then let it rain cases and questions on me, and I shall despatch them in a twinkling." And since it had been arranged by the conspirators in the joke that this was to be the last day of Sancho Panza's reign as governor, the majordomo gave him the best dinner that he could.

Sancho was thankful ahead of time and felt compelled to express his gratitude. "That's all I ask for," he said: "fair treatment! Serve me my dinner, and then let the cases and questions come my way, and I’ll handle them in no time." And since it had been planned by the conspirators in the prank that this would be Sancho Panza's last day as governor, the steward provided him with the best dinner he could.

Just as the Governor was finishing his repast a courier arrived with a letter from Don Quixote. The secretary read it aloud to him, and he listened attentively and respectfully to the wisdom and good and sound advice that his beloved Don Quixote gave him in the letter. All who heard it read were agreed that they had seldom had the fortune to hear such a well-worded and thoroughly sensible epistle; and Sancho was proud of the praise that was being bestowed on his former master, to whom he still was as devoted as ever.

Just as the Governor was finishing his meal, a courier arrived with a letter from Don Quixote. The secretary read it aloud to him, and he listened closely and respectfully to the wise and solid advice that his beloved Don Quixote was giving him in the letter. Everyone who heard it agreed that they rarely had the chance to hear such a well-written and completely sensible letter; and Sancho felt proud of the praise being given to his former master, to whom he remained as loyal as ever.

The Governor withdrew with his secretary into his own [Pg 273] room, and there he dictated at once his reply to Don Quixote's letter. In this he confided to him all that had happened on his island, the reforms he had undertaken, and the judgments he had handed down. He finished by asking the knight to kiss the hand of the sweet Duchess for him and tell her that she had not thrown it into a sack with a hole in it, as she would see in the end: meaning by this that he would show her how grateful he was as soon as he had an opportunity.

The Governor went into his office with his secretary and immediately dictated his response to Don Quixote's letter. In this, he shared everything that had happened on his island, the reforms he had made, and the decisions he had issued. He ended by asking the knight to kiss the hand of the lovely Duchess for him and let her know that she hadn't wasted her kindness, as she would eventually see: meaning that he would show her his gratitude as soon as he could.

The courier returned to the ducal palace with the Governor's message; and Sancho spent the afternoon in making provisions for all sorts of beneficial improvements in his government, reducing prices on a number of necessaries, and confirming laws that tended to help the poor and needy, while they would incriminate those who were impostors, good-for-nothings, and vagabonds. Even to this day some of these laws are in existence there, and are called The constitutions of the great governor, Sancho Panza.

The courier came back to the ducal palace with the Governor's message, and Sancho spent the afternoon planning various beneficial improvements for his government. He lowered prices on several essential items and upheld laws aimed at helping the poor and needy, while also penalizing impostors, lazy people, and vagrants. Even today, some of these laws are still in place and are known as The constitutions of the great governor, Sancho Panza.


CHAPTER LII

Wherein Three Delectable Epistles Are Read By the Duchess

DON QUIXOTE had now been healed of his scratches, and he began to long for the road; for the life was too easy, he thought, for one who had dedicated himself to knight-errantry and valorous deeds. But the day he [Pg 274] had decided to break the news to the Duke and the Duchess, the messenger that the Duchess had sent to Sancho's wife returned, bringing with him two letters, one addressed to "The Duchess So-and-so, of I don't know where," and the other one to "The Governor, Sancho Panza of the Island of Barataria, whom God prosper longer than me!"

DON QUIXOTE had now healed from his injuries, and he started to crave the open road; he thought life was too easy for someone dedicated to knight-errantry and heroic deeds. However, on the day he planned to inform the Duke and the Duchess, the messenger the Duchess sent to Sancho's wife returned, bringing two letters with him, one addressed to "The Duchess So-and-so, of I don't know where," and the other one to "The Governor, Sancho Panza of the Island of Barataria, may God bless him longer than me!"

The Duchess was so eager to read her letter that she opened it at once; and having read it to herself, she felt she ought to give amusement to the others too, so she read it aloud to all who were there. She was dying to see what the letter to the Governor contained, so she asked Don Quixote whether he thought it would be a breach of etiquette to read it; and Don Quixote took it upon himself, as Sancho's late master and guardian, to open it. Then he read it to the Duke and the Duchess, who laughed to their heart's content at the many drolleries with which Teresa Panza had stuffed her epistle.

The Duchess was so excited to read her letter that she opened it immediately; after reading it to herself, she felt she should entertain the others too, so she read it aloud to everyone present. She was eager to find out what the letter to the Governor said, so she asked Don Quixote if he thought it would be improper to read it. Don Quixote, as Sancho's former master and protector, took it upon himself to open it. He then read it to the Duke and the Duchess, who laughed heartily at the many funny things Teresa Panza had packed into her letter.

Just as the merriment was at its peak, the courier with Sancho Panza's reply to Don Quixote arrived, and that communication too was read aloud; and the Duke could not omit remarking that it was a most excellent and sane letter. The Duchess, however, was anxious to question the page about his visit with Teresa Panza, so she excused herself, and withdrew with the page and her presents; for, besides the acorns, the Governor's wife had sent her a cheese, much to the gratification of the Duchess. [Pg 275]

Just as the celebration was at its height, the messenger with Sancho Panza's reply to Don Quixote arrived, and that message was read out loud as well; the Duke couldn't help but comment that it was a really great and sensible letter. However, the Duchess was eager to ask the page about his visit with Teresa Panza, so she excused herself and left with the page and her gifts; in addition to the acorns, the Governor's wife had sent her a cheese, which delighted the Duchess. [Pg 275]


CHAPTER LIII

Of the Troublous End and Termination of Sancho Panza's Government

THE seventh day of Sancho's government was approaching its end. The Governor lay in his bed, resting after all the judgments and proclamations he had made that day upon a fasting stomach. Suddenly he rose in his bed, for he heard the most deafening noise, intermingled with the ringing of churchbells. To this sound was added that of trumpets and drums, and the combination made a din that frightened Sancho almost out of his wits. He flew out of bed, put on a pair of slippers, and rushed into the street, dressed in nothing but his night shirt. He was startled to see the streets crowded with men, carrying torches, and crying: "To arms, Señor Governor, to arms! The enemy is here, and we are lost, unless you come to the rescue with your sword!"

The seventh day of Sancho's leadership was coming to an end. The Governor lay in bed, resting after all the decisions and announcements he had made that day on an empty stomach. Suddenly, he sat up in bed because he heard the loudest noise, mixed with the ringing of church bells. Along with that were the sounds of trumpets and drums, and the combination created a racket that nearly drove Sancho crazy. He jumped out of bed, slipped on a pair of slippers, and rushed into the street, wearing only his nightshirt. He was shocked to see the streets filled with men carrying torches, shouting, "To arms, Señor Governor, to arms! The enemy is here, and we’re doomed unless you come to our rescue with your sword!"

Sancho was lost; he did not know what to do, for swordsmanship was not among his accomplishments. And so he simply asked them whether the enemy could not wait until he had a chance to summon his master Don Quixote of La Mancha, who, he said, knew all about arms.

Sancho was confused; he didn't know what to do, since sword fighting wasn't one of his skills. So he just asked them if the enemy could wait until he had a chance to call his master, Don Quixote of La Mancha, who, he said, knew everything about weaponry.

Just then one of the inhabitants came along, carrying two shields, and without any ceremony he told Sancho in plain language that it was his duty as their governor to lead them into battle. Then he covered him—without [Pg 276] giving him a chance to put on anything besides his night-shirt—with the two shields, one in front and the other one behind; pressing them together as tightly as he and another man could manage, they laced them with rope, so that Sancho could neither move a muscle, nor bend a leg. Then they put a lance in his hand and told him to lead them into battle against the enemy, for now they were no longer afraid of the outcome, they said.

Just then, one of the locals showed up, carrying two shields, and without any introduction, he told Sancho straight up that it was his job as their governor to lead them into battle. Then he dressed him—without giving him a chance to put on anything other than his nightshirt—with the two shields, one in front and the other behind; pressing them together as tightly as he and another guy could manage, they laced them with rope so that Sancho couldn’t move a muscle or bend a leg. Then they handed him a lance and told him to lead them into battle against the enemy, saying they were no longer afraid of what would happen.

"How am I to march, unlucky being that I am," asked Sancho, "when I cannot stir my knee-caps for these boards that are bound so tightly to my body! What you must do is to carry me in your arms, and lay me across or set me upright in some postern, and I shall hold it either with this lance or with my body."

"How am I supposed to walk, being so unlucky," Sancho asked, "when I can hardly move my knees because these boards are strapped so tightly to me! What you need to do is carry me in your arms and lay me down or prop me up against some postern, and I'll hold it with this lance or my body."

When the men heard the Governor speak thus, one of them was bold enough to suggest that he could not move because he was too frightened; and this angered poor Sancho into a frantic attempt to take a step in the direction of the invading army. But this step was a fatal one, for the Governor fell in his undignified stiffness flat on his back with such a crash that he thought he had broken every bone in his body.

When the men heard the Governor speak like that, one of them was brave enough to suggest that he couldn’t move because he was too scared; this made poor Sancho so furious that he desperately tried to take a step toward the invading army. But that move turned out to be disastrous, as the Governor fell flat on his back with such a thud that he thought he had broken every bone in his body.

The men now quickly extinguished their torches, and began to step on his shield, slashing their swords over his head, shouting and yelling, and making all the noise they could. Had Sancho not pulled in his head like a tortoise in his shell, he might have fared ill. One man boldly placed himself on Sancho's roof, calling in a mighty voice, now and then filled with an agonized grunt, such directions as these: "Hold the breach there! Shut the gate! [Pg 277] Barricade those ladders! Block the streets with feather-beds! Here with your stink-pots of pitch and resin, and kettles of boiling oil!"

The men quickly put out their torches and started stomping on his shield, swinging their swords over his head, shouting, and making as much noise as possible. If Sancho hadn't tucked his head in like a turtle, he could have ended up in serious trouble. One man boldly climbed onto Sancho's roof, yelling in a loud voice, sometimes mixed with a pained grunt, commands like these: "Hold the breach there! Shut the gate! [Pg 277] Barricade those ladders! Block the streets with feather-beds! Get your stink-pots of pitch and resin over here, and bring kettles of boiling oil!"

All these exclamations put fear in the already hard-pressed and squeezed heart of Sancho Panza, who was wishing where he lay that he had never seen the sight of an island. He was in such an agony that he began to pray to the Lord in Heaven to have mercy on him and let him die, or else let this terrible strife and warfare come to an end.

All these shouts filled Sancho Panza's already stressed and tight heart with fear, making him wish he had never laid eyes on an island. He was in such pain that he started to pray to the Lord in Heaven to have mercy on him and either let him die or put an end to this terrible conflict and fighting.

Heaven must have heard Sancho's prayer, for suddenly he heard cries of: "Victory! Victory! The enemy retreats!" Then some one jerked him by the arm, and told him to stand up and enjoy the victory; and finally some of the bystanders took pity on him, and lifted him up from his vertical position. But Sancho refused to enjoy any victory. All he asked for, he said, was that some one wipe the perspiration from his body, and give him some wine for his parched throat. When they had fulfilled this desire of his, they carried him to his chamber, were they put him to bed. Hardly had they got him to bed before he fainted away, overcome with excitement and governments.

Heaven must have heard Sancho's prayer, because suddenly he heard shouts of: "Victory! Victory! The enemy is retreating!" Then someone pulled him by the arm and told him to stand up and enjoy the victory; finally, some bystanders took pity on him and lifted him from his awkward position. But Sancho refused to celebrate any victory. All he wanted, he said, was for someone to wipe the sweat off his body and give him some wine for his dry throat. After they took care of this request, they carried him to his room, where they laid him down in bed. Hardly had they gotten him settled before he fainted, overwhelmed by excitement and exhaustion.

The attendants sprinkled some water in the Governor's face, and he soon came back to life. The first thing he asked was what time it was. They replied it was early morning. He rose without saying a word, dressed himself in haste, and then went out to the stable, where they found him hanging round his Dapple's neck, kissing and embracing him, while tears were streaming down his face. Having swallowed the first flood of tears, the late squire addressed his faithful donkey in the tenderest and most [Pg 278] heartrending terms, telling him that he should have stuck by him all the time, and not let himself be carried away by ambitions to become governor of islands.

The attendants splashed some water on the Governor's face, and he quickly regained consciousness. The first thing he wanted to know was what time it was. They told him it was early morning. He got up without saying a word, got dressed in a hurry, and then went out to the stable, where they found him wrapped around Dapple's neck, kissing and hugging him, while tears streamed down his face. Once he got through the initial wave of tears, the former squire spoke to his loyal donkey in the most affectionate and heartbreaking terms, telling him that he should have stayed by his side the whole time and not let himself get caught up in the ambition of becoming a governor of islands.

Sancho then put the pack-saddle on Dapple's back, and mounted—a process of much pain—and from his dear confederate's back he addressed the majordomo and those of his staff who had followed him to the stable. "Make way," he said, "and let me go back to my old freedom; let me go look for my past life, and raise myself up from this present death. I was not born to be a governor or to protect islands or cities from the enemies that choose to attack them. Ploughing and digging, vine-dressing and pruning, are more in my way than defending provinces or kingdoms. Saint Peter is very well in Rome: I mean, each of us is best following the trade he was born to. I would rather have my fill of the simplest pot-luck than be subject to the misery of a meddling doctor who kills me with hunger; and I would rather lie in summer under the shade of an oak, and in winter wrap myself in a double sheepskin jacket in freedom, than to go to bed between Holland sheets and dress in sables under the restraint of a government. God be with your Worships! Tell my lord, the Duke, that naked was I born, naked I find myself, I neither lose nor gain: I mean that without a farthing I came into this government, and without a farthing I go out of it—very different from the way governors commonly leave other islands. Stand aside and let me go. I have to plaster myself, for I believe every one of my ribs is crushed, thanks to the enemies that have been trampling over me to-night."

Sancho then placed the pack-saddle on Dapple's back and climbed on—a process that was quite painful. From his beloved friend's back, he addressed the majordomo and the staff that had followed him to the stable. "Make way," he said, "and let me return to my old freedom; let me search for my past life and lift myself from this present misery. I wasn't born to be a governor or to protect islands or cities from whoever decides to attack them. Farming and gardening are more suited to me than defending provinces or kingdoms. Saint Peter is doing just fine in Rome: I mean, each of us is best off following the trade we were born to. I'd rather enjoy a simple meal than suffer the torment of a meddling doctor who leaves me starving; and I’d prefer to lie under an oak tree in the summer and wrap myself in a thick sheepskin in the winter in freedom than to sleep between fancy sheets and wear luxurious furs under the restrictions of a government. God be with you all! Tell my lord, the Duke, that I was born naked, and I find myself still naked; I neither lose nor gain: I came into this government without a penny, and I leave it without a penny—very different from how governors usually exit other islands. Stand aside and let me pass. I need to tend to myself, because I think every one of my ribs is crushed, thanks to the enemies who trampled over me last night."

Here the doctor offered to give the retiring governor a [Pg 279] draught that would cure him of all pain. He also promised Sancho if he would stay he would behave better in the future, and give him as much to eat as he desired. But Sancho was not at a loss for an answer this time.

Here, the doctor offered to give the retiring governor a [Pg 279] potion that would relieve him of all his pain. He also promised Sancho that if he stayed, he would treat him better in the future and give him as much to eat as he wanted. But Sancho had a response ready this time.

"You spoke late," said he. "I should as soon turn Turk as stay any longer. Those jokes will not pass a second time. By the Lord, I should as soon remain in this government, or take another one, even if it was offered me between two plates, as fly to heaven without wings. I am of the breed of Panzas, and they are every one of them obstinate, and if they once say odds, odds it must be, no matter if it is evens, in spite of all the world. Here in this stable I leave the ant's wings that lifted me up into the air for the swifts and other birds to eat them, and let us take to the level ground and our feet once more; and if they are not shod in pinked shoes of cordovan, they shall not want for rough sandals of hemp. Every ewe to her like and let no one stretch his leg beyond the length of the sheet. And now let me pass, for it is growing late with me."

"You talked too late," he said. "I’d rather convert to Islam than stick around any longer. Those jokes won’t be funny a second time. Honestly, I’d rather stay in this government or take another one, even if it were offered to me on a silver platter, than try to fly to heaven without wings. I come from the Panzas lineage, and they are all stubborn. Once they say 'odds,' it’s odds, no matter if it’s evens, despite what anyone else says. Here in this stable, I’m leaving behind the ant’s wings that lifted me into the air for the swifts and other birds to eat, and let’s return to solid ground and stand on our own feet again; and even if they aren’t wearing fancy leather shoes, they won’t go without basic hemp sandals. Every sheep stays with its kind, and nobody should try to stretch their legs beyond the length of the blanket. Now let me pass, because it’s getting late for me."

After this meditation, strung with proverbs, the majordomo turned to Sancho and said that before he departed it was necessary that he render an account for the ten days that he had governed the island. But this was not Sancho's idea, and he quickly replied that he would seek out the Duke and give an accounting to him, for he was the only one to whom he was responsible. He added that as he would come to him naked, that would be the best proof that he had governed like an angel.

After this meditation, filled with wise sayings, the majordomo turned to Sancho and said that before he left, he needed to explain how he managed the island for the past ten days. But this wasn't Sancho's plan, and he quickly responded that he would go to the Duke and report to him because he was the only one he was accountable to. He added that since he would come to him completely honest, that would be the best evidence that he governed like an angel.

So they all agreed to let him proceed, for they were certain that the Duke would be delighted to see him. They [Pg 280] offered him anything that he might need for the journey; but all Sancho asked for was some barley for his Dapple, and some bread and cheese for himself. Then they all bade him godspeed and embraced him; and Sancho, with tears in his eyes, took leave of them. The majordomo and the rest of Sancho's staff could not help thinking that he had displayed more sense than most men might have under the same circumstances; for when Sancho left his government he had earned their admiration for many and good reasons.

So they all agreed to let him go ahead, because they were sure the Duke would be happy to see him. They offered him anything he might need for the trip; but all Sancho asked for was some barley for his Dapple, and some bread and cheese for himself. Then they all wished him well and hugged him; and Sancho, with tears in his eyes, said goodbye to them. The majordomo and the rest of Sancho's staff couldn't help but think that he had shown more wisdom than most people might have in the same situation; for when Sancho left his position, he had earned their respect for many good reasons.


CHAPTERS LIV-LV

Of What Befell Sancho on the Road; and Other Things That Cannot Be Surpassed

SANCHO had almost reached the Duke's castle, when night suddenly fell and it grew so dark that he considered it best to stop where he was and remain there overnight. Accordingly he took Dapple off the road, and they went in search for some comfortable place where they could rest. Presently Sancho found himself among some old ruins, and as he was stumbling along he suddenly felt himself and Dapple falling deep into the earth. He thought it was going to be an endless journey, but when he struck bottom he discovered that nothing had happened to him or to his faithful donkey, for there he was, still mounted even.

SANCHO had almost reached the Duke's castle when night suddenly fell, and it got so dark that he decided it was best to stop where he was and stay there overnight. So, he took Dapple off the road, and they looked for a comfortable place to rest. Soon, Sancho found himself among some old ruins, and as he was stumbling along, he suddenly felt himself and Dapple plummeting deep into the ground. He thought it was going to be an endless drop, but when he hit the bottom, he realized that nothing had happened to him or his loyal donkey because there he was, still riding on Dapple.

Of course he was somewhat shaken by this sudden plunge into the lower regions, and taken aback; but as soon [Pg 281] as he realized that he was unhurt he began to praise the Lord and to give thanks to him on behalf of himself and Dapple, who had burst into lamentations upon finding himself separated from meadow and green grass. Then Sancho began to look about for a way out, but he searched in vain, and it became plain to him that here he was buried alive. He thought of his master's descent into the cave of Montesinos, and was envious of Don Quixote's imagination which could conjure up so easily soft beds to sleep in and good food to eat. He could already see himself as a skeleton, and he shed a tear when he thought of having no one to close his or Dapple's eyes, when they had breathed their last breath.

Of course, he was a bit shaken by this sudden dive into the lower regions and caught off guard; but as soon as he realized he wasn’t hurt, he started to praise the Lord and thank Him on behalf of himself and Dapple, who was in tears after finding himself away from the meadow and the green grass. Then Sancho began to look around for a way out, but he searched in vain, and it became clear to him that he was buried alive here. He thought about his master’s descent into the cave of Montesinos and felt envious of Don Quixote's imagination, which could easily conjure up soft beds to sleep in and good food to eat. He could already envision himself as a skeleton, and he shed a tear when he thought about no one being there to close his eyes or Dapple's when they had breathed their last.

All that night they sat there in somber reflection on the strange fates of man and beast; and when dawn came Sancho found that he was in a cave that had no outlet but which seemed to extend for miles underneath the ground. He crawled with Dapple from one cavern or compartment to another one; one dungeon was dark, the next one had a bit of flickering light; and as he proceeded he kept calling aloud, "God Almighty, help me!" at every step he took, fearing that he would be plunged still deeper into the insides of the earth, into still darker abysses. And then he wished that it had been his master instead of himself who had landed in this spot, for he was sure that Don Quixote would have welcomed such an adventure.

All night they sat there, lost in deep thought about the odd destinies of humans and animals. When dawn broke, Sancho realized he was in a cave with no way out, stretching for miles underground. He crawled with Dapple from one chamber to another; one cell was dark, the next had a flickering light. As he moved along, he kept shouting, "God Almighty, help me!" with every step he took, scared that he would be pulled even deeper into the earth, into even darker depths. He wished it had been his master instead of him who ended up in this place, convinced that Don Quixote would have embraced such an adventure.

It so happened that Don Quixote was riding along the countryside that day on Rocinante, and suddenly his steed's hoof grazed against a hole in the earth. Rocinante might have fallen into the hole had not Don Quixote swiftly [Pg 282] pulled in the reins and held him back. As the knight was passing, and about to continue on his journey, he turned in his seat to observe the spot well, and then he was startled by a cry that seemed to come from the depths of the earth and found an outlet through this pit. Still more startled he was, when he recognized the voice of his own squire Sancho! These were the words he heard: "Ho, above there! Is there any Christian that hears me, or any charitable gentleman that will take pity on a sinner buried alive, or an unfortunate, disgoverned governor?"

It just so happened that Don Quixote was riding through the countryside that day on Rocinante when suddenly his horse's hoof brushed against a hole in the ground. Rocinante might have fallen into the hole if Don Quixote hadn’t quickly pulled on the reins to hold him back. As the knight was passing by and about to continue his journey, he turned in his saddle to get a better look at the spot, and then he was shocked by a cry that seemed to come from deep within the earth and escaped through this pit. He was even more startled when he recognized the voice of his squire, Sancho! These were the words he heard: "Hey, up there! Is there anyone Christian who hears me, or any kind-hearted gentleman who will show compassion to a sinner buried alive, or an unlucky, misguided governor?"

Of course it never entered our valiant knight's mind, devout Catholic that he was, that it was the voice of any Sancho Panza in the flesh. He thought that his devoted squire had suddenly met with death, and that his soul was now in Purgatory, and that it was from there that these sounds emanated. So he answered that he would do all in his power to have Sancho released from his pains.

Of course, it never crossed our brave knight's mind, being the devout Catholic he was, that it was the voice of any real Sancho Panza. He believed his loyal squire had suddenly died, and that his soul was now in Purgatory, from which these sounds were coming. So, he replied that he would do everything he could to free Sancho from his suffering.

This brought forth an emphatic and tearful denial from below. Sancho swore that he had never died in his life. As if to corroborate that his master was not a liar, Dapple at this moment brayed most tellingly, and Don Quixote believed everything that Dapple told him in that short space of time, for Don Quixote knew Dapple's braying as well as if he had been his father. The knight errant assured Sancho that he would get him out of his prison in a very short time, though he thought it best to return to the castle first and get some men to help him in the task. Sancho begged his master to hurry, for he was afraid unto death, and could not stand the thought of being buried there much longer. [Pg 283]

This led to a heartfelt and tearful denial from below. Sancho insisted that he had never died in his life. To prove that his master wasn't lying, Dapple suddenly brayed loudly, and Don Quixote believed everything that Dapple was saying at that moment, since he knew Dapple's braying as well as if he were his father. The knight assured Sancho that he would get him out of his prison very soon, although he thought it would be best to return to the castle first and gather some men to help with the task. Sancho pleaded with his master to hurry, as he was terrified and couldn't stand the thought of being buried there much longer. [Pg 283]

As soon as the Duke heard what had happened to his governor, he was extremely surprised, for he had had no news from the island of Barataria about Sancho's departure. He sent men with ropes and tackle, and after much trouble they finally succeeded in hoisting Sancho and his beloved donkey out of the cave.

As soon as the Duke found out what happened to his governor, he was really surprised, since he hadn't received any updates from the island of Barataria about Sancho leaving. He sent people with ropes and equipment, and after a lot of effort, they finally managed to pull Sancho and his beloved donkey out of the cave.

Surrounded by a crowd of children and others, they arrived at the castle, where the Duke was awaiting them; but Sancho would not present himself before him until he had seen that Dapple was being taken good care of in the stable. Then he went before the Duke, and as soon as the Duke had greeted him, Sancho commenced a speech that seemed to last forever, stuffed with proverbs galore. In it he related to the Duke everything that happened during the time he was governor, ending it thus: "I have come by the knowledge that I should not give anything to be a governor, not to say of an island, but of the whole world; and that point being settled, kissing your Worship's feet, and imitating the game of the boys when they say, 'Leap thou, and give me one,' I take a leap out of the government and pass into the service of my master Don Quixote. For after all, though in it I eat my bread in fear and trembling, at any rate I take my fill; and, for my part, so long as I am full, it is alike to me whether it is with carrots or with partridges."

Surrounded by a crowd of children and others, they arrived at the castle, where the Duke was waiting for them; but Sancho wouldn’t go before him until he saw that Dapple was being well taken care of in the stable. Then he approached the Duke, and as soon as the Duke greeted him, Sancho began a speech that felt like it went on forever, packed with plenty of proverbs. In it, he told the Duke everything that happened during his time as governor, wrapping it up with this: "I’ve realized that I wouldn't want to be a governor, not even of an island, let alone the whole world; and having settled that, kissing your Worship's feet, and playing along like the kids do when they say, 'Jump and give me one,' I’m jumping out of the government and back into the service of my master Don Quixote. Because after all, even if I eat my bread in fear and trembling while I’m in it, at least I get my fill; and for me, as long as I'm full, it doesn't matter if it’s with carrots or partridges."

When Sancho had finished his discourse Don Quixote was grateful, for he was constantly worried that his squire might say something that would cover both of them with discredit, and Sancho made no great blunders in his speech this time. [Pg 284]

When Sancho finished talking, Don Quixote felt thankful because he was always anxious that his squire might say something that would embarrass them both, and this time Sancho didn’t make any major mistakes in his words. [Pg 284]

The Duke and the Duchess both embraced Sancho with warmth, and he was greatly touched when they told him that they would try to find him another position, less responsible but more profitable, on their estate; and they gave orders that he was to be well taken care of and his wounds and bruises properly and carefully bandaged.

The Duke and the Duchess both hugged Sancho warmly, and he was really moved when they told him they would try to help him find another job on their estate—one that was less demanding but better paying. They also made sure he would be well taken care of and that his injuries would be properly and carefully bandaged.


CHAPTERS LVI-LVII

Which Treats of How Don Quixote Again Felt the Calling of Knight-errantry and How He Took Leave of the Duke, and of What Followed with the Witty and Impudent Altisidora, One of the Duchess' Damsels

AGAIN the feeling came over Don Quixote that he was wasting his life while he was staying at the castle in luxury and ease as the Duke's guest. Out yonder was the great, wide world in which adventures were calling to him all the time. So it finally came about that after much hesitation he requested of the Duke and his consort that they grant him his release. They gave it to him, although they were sorry to see him go, they said.

AGAIN, Don Quixote felt that he was wasting his life by staying at the castle in luxury and ease as the Duke's guest. Out there was the vast world where adventures were constantly calling him. After a lot of hesitation, he finally asked the Duke and his wife to let him leave. They agreed, even though they said they were sad to see him go.

Early the following morning Sancho was soliloquizing in the courtyard of the castle, when suddenly Don Quixote [Pg 285] appeared, in full regalia, ready to take to the road again for new adventures. The Duke and all in the castle were observing the departure from the corridors. Unobserved by Don Quixote, the majordomo gave Sancho a purse, in which he counted no less than two hundred gold crowns.

Early the next morning, Sancho was talking to himself in the castle courtyard when Don Quixote suddenly showed up, fully equipped and ready to hit the road again for new adventures. The Duke and everyone in the castle were watching the departure from the corridors. Without Don Quixote noticing, the major-domo handed Sancho a purse, which contained no less than two hundred gold crowns.

When knight and squire had mounted, the fair Altisidora declaimed with touching voice some verses of poetry which she had written in the night, and in which she bewailed her cruel fate that had thrust her in the path of the valorous Don Quixote. Each verse ended with a denunciation of his coldness toward her, and a curse upon him and his Dulcinea. Then the daring maiden had inserted lines in which she accused the innocent knight of having taken possession of three kerchiefs and a pair of garters belonging to her. Don Quixote blushed with perplexity, but his squire came to the rescue and said that he had the kerchiefs, but knew nothing about the garters. The Duke, who was well initiated in the joke, now rose and announced that it was beginning to seem like a serious matter; and if the knight had the garters and did not wish to part with them, he, the Duke, would have to defend the fair maiden's honor and challenge him to single combat.

When the knight and squire had mounted their steeds, the beautiful Altisidora passionately recited some verses of poetry she had written during the night, lamenting her cruel fate for falling in love with the brave Don Quixote. Each verse ended with a complaint about his indifference toward her and a curse aimed at him and his Dulcinea. Then the bold maiden added lines accusing the innocent knight of taking three handkerchiefs and a pair of her garters. Don Quixote flushed with confusion, but his squire stepped in to say that he had the handkerchiefs but knew nothing about the garters. The Duke, who was in on the joke, then stood up and declared that it was starting to seem like a serious issue; if the knight had the garters and didn’t want to give them up, he, the Duke, would have to defend the fair maiden's honor and challenge him to a duel.

Now Don Quixote was beside himself. Surely, he said, it would never occur to him, who had enjoyed such unbounded, superlative hospitality at the hands of one so illustrious as the Duke, to let such things come to pass as to bear arms against him; and he swore again by everything he could think of that he was innocent of what the maiden had inferred. Here the damsel gave a little shriek, and announced in a giggling voice that she had found the [Pg 286] garters. Don Quixote was much relieved, and so seemed the Duke (though in reality both he and the Duchess were just about to burst from the pain that their own joke had inflicted upon them).

Now Don Quixote was beside himself. Surely, he said, it would never cross his mind, having experienced such generous and exceptional hospitality from someone as distinguished as the Duke, to take up arms against him; and he swore again by everything he could think of that he was innocent of what the maiden had suggested. At this, the damsel let out a little shriek and announced in a giggling voice that she had found the [Pg 286] garters. Don Quixote felt greatly relieved, and so did the Duke (even though both he and the Duchess were actually just about to burst from the discomfort caused by their own joke).

Now the knight errant could depart without any smudge or stain on his honor, and quickly and resolutely he gave Rocinante the spur, and his steed gathered all the strength he had and turned around. Gallantly saluting the Duke and the whole assembly with a sweep of his lance, Don Quixote set off on the road to Saragossa, followed by the retired governor, who sat on his Dapple's back as phlegmatically as if the two were grown together.

Now the knight errant could leave without any blemish on his honor, and he quickly and firmly urged Rocinante forward, making his steed gather all its strength and turn around. With a gallant salute to the Duke and the entire assembly with a sweep of his lance, Don Quixote set off on the road to Saragossa, followed by the retired governor, who sat on his Dapple's back as calmly as if they were joined at the hip.


CHAPTER LVIII

Which Tells How Adventures Came Crowding on Don Quixote in Such Numbers That They Gave One Another No Breathing-Time

OUT on the open road Don Quixote was himself again, and he turned to Sancho and began to discourse on freedom, telling his squire that it was more precious than anything else in the world. And he ended by saying: "Happy he to whom Heaven has given a piece of bread for which he is not bound to give thanks to any but Heaven itself!"

OUT on the open road, Don Quixote was himself again, and he turned to Sancho and started talking about freedom, telling his squire that it was more valuable than anything else in the world. And he concluded by saying: "Happy is the person whom Heaven has given a piece of bread for which they owe thanks to no one but Heaven itself!"

Here Sancho broke his silence, for he felt that, in spite of what his master had just said, a good deal of thanks was due to the majordomo for the purse with the two hundred [Pg 287] crowns, which he was carrying like a plaster next to his heart.

Here Sancho broke his silence, feeling that, despite what his master had just said, a lot of thanks was owed to the majordomo for the purse with the two hundred [Pg 287] crowns, which he was carrying close to his heart like a prized possession.

While they were conversing thus, they suddenly came to a spot from where they could see a great many men, dressed like laborers, lying on the grass of a meadow, and partaking of their noonday meal. Here and there on the grass were scattered some objects or figures covered with white cloth, and as soon as Don Quixote observed them he could constrain himself no longer but had to learn what they were. So he politely approached the men and asked them what was hidden underneath the white coverings, and was told that they were images of saints that they were transporting to their village church; and in order not to soil them, they had covered them thus.

While they were talking, they suddenly arrived at a place where they could see a bunch of men, dressed like workers, lying on the grass in a field, enjoying their lunch. Scattered across the grass were some objects or shapes covered with white cloth. As soon as Don Quixote spotted them, he couldn't hold back any longer and wanted to find out what they were. So he politely approached the men and asked what was hidden under the white coverings. They told him that those were images of saints that they were taking to their village church, and they had covered them to keep them clean.

The man took great pride in showing our knight the figures—there were Saint George, Saint Martin, Saint James the Moorslayer, and Saint Paul. Don Quixote spoke learnedly on each one of them. When he had seen them all, he bade the men cover the images with the cloths again. Then he declared that he considered it a happy omen to have come upon the images; for, said he, they were knights like himself. There was this difference, however, that while he fought with human weapons, poor sinner that he was, they used divine ones. And he added that if only his Dulcinea could be saved from her sufferings, perhaps his own mind might be restored to its proper function, and a desire for a milder and better life than he was leading now be the result. At this Sancho reverently chirped: "May God hear and sin be deaf!"

The man took great pride in showing our knight the figures—there were Saint George, Saint Martin, Saint James the Moor Slayer, and Saint Paul. Don Quixote spoke knowledgeably about each of them. After he had seen them all, he asked the men to cover the images with the cloths again. Then he proclaimed that he considered it a good sign to have come across the images; for, he said, they were knights like him. There was one key difference, though: while he fought with human weapons, poor sinner that he was, they used divine ones. He added that if only his Dulcinea could be saved from her suffering, perhaps his own mind might be restored to its proper function, and he would desire a gentler and better life than the one he was living now. At this, Sancho reverently said, "May God hear and sin be deaf!"

The men, having finished their repast, took leave of [Pg 288] Don Quixote and Sancho and continued the journey to their village. They were not out of sight before Sancho broke loose with praise for his master, who knew everything under the sun, it seemed. Then he added: "In truth, master, if what has happened to us to-day is to be called an adventure, it has been one of the sweetest and pleasantest that has befallen us in the whole course of our travels; we have come out of it without having drawn sword, nor have we been left famishing. Blessed be God that he has let me see such a thing with my own eyes!"

The men, having finished their meal, said goodbye to [Pg 288] Don Quixote and Sancho and continued their journey to their village. They weren't out of sight before Sancho started praising his master, who seemed to know everything there was to know. Then he added, "Honestly, master, if what happened to us today is called an adventure, it's been one of the sweetest and most enjoyable we've had during our travels; we came out of it without drawing our swords and weren’t left starving. Thank God for letting me see this with my own eyes!"

The conversation now turned to other things, and soon love became the topic. Sancho could not understand why his master, as ugly as he was, should have turned the head of the fair Altisidora; and why his master had not fallen head over heels in love with her was entirely beyond Sancho's comprehension. Had he himself had the same opportunity he should not have foregone it, he could have promised his master. Here Don Quixote tried to explain to Sancho that there were different kinds of love: love of the mind, and of the body; but this explanation seemed to remain a puzzle to the squire.

The conversation shifted to other topics, and soon love became the focus. Sancho couldn’t understand why his master, despite being so ugly, had captured the attention of the beautiful Altisidora; and why his master hadn’t fallen madly in love with her was completely beyond Sancho's grasp. If he had been in the same situation, he assured his master that he wouldn’t have passed it up. Here, Don Quixote tried to explain to Sancho that there are different kinds of love: love of the mind and love of the body; but this explanation still left the squire confused.

While they had been talking in this manner, they had come into a wood, and suddenly Don Quixote rode into a green net which entangled him so completely that he began to shout that he had been enchanted again. He made ready to cut and slash with his sword, when two beautiful girls dressed as shepherdesses came from amidst the trees and began to plead with him not to tear the nets, which they had spread in the woods that they might snare the little birds. There was a holiday in the neighborhood, [Pg 289] and they were to give a pageant and a play, they said, and they wanted the birds to be actors in the play with them. Then they courteously begged Don Quixote to be their guest and remain with them; but Don Quixote in return told them that the urgency of his calling made it necessary for him to refuse, whereupon he made them aware of who he was. As soon as the girls heard that they had Don Quixote of La Mancha in their midst, they became still more eager that he should remain, for they had all read and heard of their illustrious guest, they said, through the book that the whole of Spain and all the world was devouring just then.

While they were talking, they entered a forest, and suddenly Don Quixote got caught in a green net that entangled him so completely he started shouting that he had been enchanted again. He prepared to slash at the net with his sword when two beautiful girls dressed as shepherdesses emerged from the trees and pleaded with him not to tear the nets they had set up to catch little birds. There was a holiday nearby, [Pg 289] and they mentioned that they were planning a pageant and a play, wanting the birds to be actors alongside them. They kindly asked Don Quixote to stay with them as their guest; however, Don Quixote explained that he had to refuse because of the urgency of his quest, after which he revealed his identity. As soon as the girls realized they had the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha in their presence, they became even more eager for him to stay, as they had all read and heard about their illustrious guest from the book that everyone in Spain and the entire world was currently reading.

A gay youth, who was the brother of the young maidens, came up at this moment and joined his sisters in their persuasions, and at last Don Quixote gave in and consented to stay. The youth, who was attired as a shepherd, brought Don Quixote to their tents, and after a morning of gaiety a repast was served, at which the knight was given the place of honor.

A gay young man, who was the brother of the young women, approached at that moment and joined his sisters in their pleas, and eventually Don Quixote agreed to stay. The young man, dressed as a shepherd, led Don Quixote to their tents, and after a morning of fun, a meal was served, where the knight was given the seat of honor.

When the meal was over, Don Quixote rose and addressed the gathering in his usual dignified manner. He chose for his topic gratitude, and said that there was but one way in which he could show his full appreciation of the hospitality he had enjoyed that day at their hands: namely, to maintain in the middle of the highway leading to Saragossa, for a period of two days, that these two damsels were—with the exception of his lady Dulcinea—the most adorable and beautiful maidens in the world.

When the meal was finished, Don Quixote stood up and spoke to the group in his usual dignified way. He chose gratitude as his topic and said there was only one way he could truly show his appreciation for the hospitality he received that day: by standing in the middle of the road to Saragossa for two days, proclaiming that these two ladies were—the only exception being his lady Dulcinea—the most charming and beautiful maidens in the world.

Don Quixote had got so far in the course of his speech, when the faithful Sancho could restrain his admiration for [Pg 290] his master no longer. Brimming over with enthusiasm, he burst out: "Is it possible there is any one in the world who will dare to say and swear that this master of mine is a madman? Tell me, gentlemen shepherds, is there a village priest, be he ever so wise or learned, who could say what my master has said; or is there a knight errant, whatever renown he may have as a man of valor, who could offer what my master has offered now?" This outburst of his squire's infuriated Don Quixote. He began to foam at the mouth, and after having scolded the meek and meddlesome Sancho, he told him abruptly to go at once and saddle Rocinante. His hosts were astounded at his remarkable behavior and proposal, and did all they could to stay him from carrying it out, but he was not to be swayed. So they all followed at a distance to see what would happen to the knight, who in his anger had not been slow to mount and disappear with Sancho trailing behind on Dapple at his usual gait.

Don Quixote had gotten this far in his speech when the loyal Sancho could no longer hold back his admiration for his master. Overflowing with enthusiasm, he exclaimed: "Is there really anyone in the world who would dare to say and swear that my master is a madman? Tell me, shepherds, is there a village priest, no matter how wise or learned, who could say what my master has said; or is there a knight-errant, no matter how famous for his valor, who could offer what my master has just offered?" This outburst from his squire enraged Don Quixote. He began to foam at the mouth and, after scolding the humble and meddlesome Sancho, told him sharply to go saddle Rocinante right away. His hosts were shocked by his strange behavior and proposal and did everything they could to stop him from following through, but he refused to be swayed. So they all followed him at a distance to see what would happen to the knight, who, in his anger, quickly mounted and took off with Sancho trailing behind on Dapple at his usual pace.

As soon as Don Quixote had posted himself in the middle of the road, he shouted out his challenge. But no one who passed seemed to pay any attention to what he said, much less were they inclined to take up the challenge, if they heard it. Suddenly, however, the knight sighted a troop of men on horseback, all armed with lances. They were coming closer at a fast pace, and as soon as the shepherds and shepherdesses saw them they withdrew in great haste. Sancho, overcome with some innate foreboding of disaster, took refuge in the shade of Rocinante's hindquarters; but Don Quixote stood resolute and held his ground. [Pg 291]

As soon as Don Quixote positioned himself in the middle of the road, he shouted out his challenge. But no one passing by seemed to listen to what he said, let alone take up the challenge, even if they heard it. Suddenly, though, the knight spotted a group of men on horseback, all armed with lances. They were approaching quickly, and as soon as the shepherds and shepherdesses noticed them, they hurried away. Sancho, filled with a sense of impending trouble, found refuge in the shade of Rocinante's hindquarters; but Don Quixote remained steadfast and held his ground. [Pg 291]

Ahead of the oncoming troop rode a man, who, observing Don Quixote's position, began to make violent signs to him to get away from the road; and when he saw that he was not being understood or obeyed, he yelled out with fierceness: "Get out of the way, you son of the devil, or these bulls will knock you to pieces!"

Ahead of the approaching troop rode a man who, noticing Don Quixote's position, started making frantic gestures for him to move off the road. When he realized he wasn’t being understood or obeyed, he shouted angrily, “Get out of the way, you son of a bitch, or these bulls will trample you!”

But all Don Quixote was concerned about was his challenge, and permitting no evasions, he retorted heroically: "Rabble! I care nothing for bulls! Confess at once, scoundrels, that what I have declared is true; else ye have to deal with me in combat."

But all Don Quixote cared about was his challenge, and not allowing any excuses, he replied boldly: "Crowd! I don’t care at all about bulls! Admit right now, you cowards, that what I said is true; otherwise, you’ll have to fight me."

Hardly had he spoken these words before the drove of bulls was on him and Sancho, trampling them both to the ground as if they had been figures of pasteboard; for they were no common bulls, they were fierce animals that were being taken to a nearby village for a bull-fight on the following day. Yet when they had passed, and the valiant knight came to, he had lost none of his intrepidity, for as soon as he could stand up he kept shouting at them to return and he would fight them all alone.

Hardly had he finished speaking when a herd of bulls charged at him and Sancho, knocking them both to the ground like they were made of cardboard. These weren't just any bulls; they were fierce animals being taken to a nearby village for a bullfight the next day. But once they had passed, the brave knight remained undaunted. As soon as he was able to get up, he kept yelling for them to come back so he could take them on all by himself.

The knight was so enraged and so humiliated to have been stepped on in such an unromantic fashion, that he sat down and buried his head in his hands; and Sancho could not persuade him to return to their hosts to bid them farewell. And so he decided instead to be on his way to Saragossa, and master and squire mounted again and continued their journey dejectedly. [Pg 292]

The knight was so furious and humiliated to have been treated so thoughtlessly that he sat down and buried his head in his hands. Sancho couldn’t convince him to go back to their hosts to say goodbye. So, he chose instead to head to Saragossa, and master and squire got back on their horses and continued their journey with heavy hearts. [Pg 292]


CHAPTER LIX

Wherein Is Related the Strange Thing, Which May Be Regarded as an Adventure, That Happened to Don Quixote

DON QUIXOTE was extremely weighed down and oppressed by the disaster of the morning. When they had ridden but a short way they came to a place where there was a spring, and they dismounted to refresh their dusty throats and to wash themselves. The knight was wearied, and Sancho suggested that he lie down and rest for a while. The suggestion pleased his master, who said he would do so if his squire would give himself three or four hundred lashes with Rocinante's reins in the meantime, as a help toward his Dulcinea's disenchantment. But after some arguing, Sancho wiggled himself out of the business for the moment, having pleaded an ill-nourished body—in spite of his constant eating. He said it was, besides, no easy matter to flog oneself in cold blood, but promised to make good some time, unexpectedly. Then they both ate a little, and soon afterward they fell asleep beside their faithful beasts. They awoke, refreshed, and made off to reach an inn—and Sancho gave thanks to Heaven that Don Quixote took it for an inn—that they had sighted in the distance before they went to sleep.

DON QUIXOTE was feeling really weighed down and overwhelmed by the events of the morning. After riding for a short while, they arrived at a place with a spring, where they got off their horses to quench their dusty throats and freshen up. The knight was tired, and Sancho suggested he lie down and rest for a bit. This idea pleased his master, who said he would do so if his squire would give himself three or four hundred lashes with Rocinante's reins in the meantime, as a way to help with Dulcinea's disenchantment. After some back-and-forth, Sancho managed to avoid the task for now, claiming he was too poorly nourished—despite his constant eating. He added that it wasn’t easy to whip oneself in a calm state but promised he would make up for it unexpectedly sometime. Then they both had a little something to eat and soon after fell asleep beside their loyal horses. They woke up feeling refreshed and headed off to reach an inn—and Sancho thanked Heaven that Don Quixote thought it was an inn when they spotted it in the distance before they fell asleep.

When they arrived at the inn Sancho at once took the beasts to the stable and fed them, while Don Quixote [Pg 293] retired to his room. When supper time came the landlord brought in a stewpan which contained cow-heels that tasted, he swore, like calves' feet; and the knight and his squire gathered gluttonously around the meal. They had scarcely began eating, however, when Don Quixote heard his name mentioned next door, and, surprised, he listened and heard some one say: "What displeases me most in this Second Part of 'Don Quixote of La Mancha' is that it represents Don Quixote as now cured of his love for Dulcinea del Toboso."

When they got to the inn, Sancho immediately took care of the animals and fed them, while Don Quixote [Pg 293] went to his room. When it was time for dinner, the landlord brought in a pot of stew with cow-heels that he claimed tasted like calves' feet; and the knight and his squire eagerly gathered around the meal. They had just started eating when Don Quixote heard his name mentioned next door and, curious, listened in. He heard someone say, "What bothers me most in this Second Part of 'Don Quixote of La Mancha' is that it shows Don Quixote as now cured of his love for Dulcinea del Toboso."

Like a flash the knight was on his feet, shouting to the adjoining room: "Whoever he may be who says that Don Quixote of La Mancha has forgotten Dulcinea del Toboso, I will teach him with equal arms that what he says is very far from true; for his motto is constancy, and his profession is to maintain the same with his life and never wrong it."

Like a flash, the knight was on his feet, shouting to the next room: "Whoever thinks that Don Quixote of La Mancha has forgotten Dulcinea del Toboso, I will prove to him with equal force that what he says is completely untrue; for his motto is loyalty, and his duty is to uphold that with his life and never betray it."

Immediately voices from the other room wished to know who was speaking; and Sancho shouted back that it was his master, and that his master was none other than Don Quixote of La Mancha himself. In the next instant two gentlemen entered the room, and as soon as they perceived Don Quixote, they fell on his neck and embraced him, saying that they were pleased and proud beyond measure to meet so distinguished and illustrious a personage, their own morning star of knight-errantry. One of the gentlemen, Don Jeronimo, assured him that there was no doubt in his mind that he was the real Don Quixote of the First Part, and not the counterfeit one of the Aragonese Second Part. With these words he put his copy of the Second Part, which [Pg 294] he had just been reading, into Don Quixote's hands and begged him to read it. Don Quixote took it and glanced it through, and after having read a few pages, he returned it to the gentleman, with the remark that he had already discovered three things in the book that ought to be censured; and he said that when an author could make such a colossal mistake as to speak of Sancho's wife as Mari Guiterrez, one would be likely to doubt the veracity of every other statement of his in the book.

Immediately, voices from the other room wanted to know who was speaking; and Sancho shouted back that it was his master, and that his master was none other than Don Quixote of La Mancha himself. In the next moment, two gentlemen entered the room, and as soon as they saw Don Quixote, they threw their arms around him and embraced him, saying that they were pleased and proud beyond measure to meet such a distinguished and illustrious person, their own morning star of knight-errantry. One of the gentlemen, Don Jeronimo, assured him that there was no doubt in his mind that he was the real Don Quixote of the First Part, not the fake one from the Aragonese Second Part. With those words, he placed his copy of the Second Part, which [Pg 294] he had just been reading, into Don Quixote's hands and asked him to read it. Don Quixote took it, skimmed through it, and after reading a few pages, handed it back to the gentleman, mentioning that he had already spotted three things in the book that should be criticized; he remarked that when an author could make such a huge mistake as to refer to Sancho's wife as Mari Guiterrez, one would likely start to doubt the truthfulness of every other claim he made in the book.

When Sancho heard of this audacious libel, he became red in the face with indignation. "A nice sort of historian, indeed!" he burst out. "He must know a deal about our affairs when he calls my wife, Teresa Panza, Mari Guiterrez! Take the book again, señor, and see whether I am in it and whether he has changed my name!"

When Sancho heard about this bold smear, he turned red with anger. "What a historian he is!" he exclaimed. "He must really know a lot about us if he’s calling my wife, Teresa Panza, Mari Guiterrez! Take the book back, sir, and check if I’m mentioned and if he’s changed my name!"

The gentleman looked at Sancho in an expectant manner, and said: "From your talk, friend, no doubt you are Sancho Panza, Señor Don Quixote's squire."

The gentleman looked at Sancho with anticipation and said, "Based on what you’re saying, my friend, you must be Sancho Panza, Señor Don Quixote's squire."

When Sancho affirmed this, saying he was proud of it, it was Don Jeronimo's turn to become indignant; for it seemed to him nothing short of blasphemy to take all the drollery out of the Sancho, whom he saw before him here, he said, and who had furnished him with so many enjoyable moments through his amusing talk, while he was reading the First Part. The Sancho of the Second Part was a stupid character, a fool with no sense of humor whatever, he declared; and his declaration promptly brought forth a proverb from Sancho's lips, which summed up his contempt for the new author. "Let him who knows how ring the bells," he exclaimed. [Pg 295]

When Sancho said this, proud of himself, Don Jeronimo couldn't help but get upset; it seemed to him nothing short of a joke to strip all the humor from the Sancho he saw in front of him, who had given him so many fun moments with his entertaining stories while he read the First Part. The Sancho in the Second Part was just a silly character, a fool with no sense of humor at all, he stated; and his remark quickly elicited a proverb from Sancho, highlighting his disdain for the new author. "Let him who knows how ring the bells," he shouted. [Pg 295]

The two gentlemen now invited the knight errant to join them at supper, as they knew, they said, that the inn could afford nothing that was befitting a warrior as illustrious as he. Always courteous, Don Quixote acquiesced, and they withdrew to the adjoining room, leaving Sancho and the landlord to sup by themselves. At supper Don Quixote related to the two gentlemen his many strange adventures, and they listened with the utmost interest; they could not help admiring his elegant and finished speech, and at the same time were astounded at the strange mixture of good sense and wit and absurd nonsense that flowed from his lips.

The two gentlemen invited the knight errant to join them for dinner, saying that they knew the inn wouldn't have anything suitable for a warrior as distinguished as he was. Always polite, Don Quixote agreed, and they went to the next room, leaving Sancho and the landlord to eat by themselves. At dinner, Don Quixote shared his many odd adventures with the two gentlemen, who listened with great interest; they couldn't help but admire his refined and polished speech, while also being amazed by the strange blend of common sense, wit, and absurd nonsense that came from him.

When Sancho had finished his cow-heels, he betook himself to the room where his master and the gentleman were supping; and as he entered he asked Don Jeronimo: "If this author calls me glutton, as your Worships say, I trust he does not call me drunkard too."

When Sancho finished his cow-heels, he went to the room where his master and the gentleman were having dinner; and as he entered, he asked Don Jeronimo, "If this author calls me a glutton, as you all say, I hope he doesn’t call me a drunkard too."

Don Jeronimo said that the author had been impertinent enough to do so, although he assured Sancho that he could see by his face that the author had lied. "Believe me," declared the squire, "the Sancho and the Don Quixote of this history must be different persons from those that appear in the one Cid Hamet Benengeli wrote, who are ourselves—my master, valiant, wise, and true in love, and I, simple, droll, and neither glutton nor drunkard."

Don Jeronimo said that the author had been rude enough to do that, but he assured Sancho that he could tell from his expression that the author had lied. "Believe me," the squire declared, "the Sancho and Don Quixote in this story must be different people from those in the one Cid Hamet Benengeli wrote, who are us—my master, brave, wise, and sincere in love, and me, simple, amusing, and neither a glutton nor a drunk."

The other gentleman, Don Juan, was of Sancho's opinion, and he added that he thought no one but Cid Hamet, the original author, should be permitted to write the history of Don Quixote's achievements—just as Alexander [Pg 296] issued an order that no one but Apelles should presume to paint his portrait.

The other guy, Don Juan, agreed with Sancho and added that he believed only Cid Hamet, the original author, should be allowed to write the history of Don Quixote's adventures—just like Alexander [Pg 296] ordered that no one but Apelles should dare to paint his portrait.

They carried on a conversation in this manner until quite late in the night. Don Juan offered the Second Part to our hero to read, but Don Quixote declined it, saying that it would only be flattering and encouraging to the author if he should, by chance, learn that he had read his book. Then they asked him where he would be bound for when he left the inn; and when he told them Saragossa, they mentioned that the author had given a description in the book of a tilting at the ring in that city, in which he who was called Don Quixote had participated.

They kept chatting like this until very late at night. Don Juan offered our hero the Second Part to read, but Don Quixote turned it down, saying it would only flatter and encourage the author if he found out he had read his book. Then they asked him where he was heading when he left the inn, and when he said Saragossa, they mentioned that the author had described a ring-tilting event in that city, where the person known as Don Quixote had taken part.

That made the knight change his intentions at once. Now he was determined not to set foot in Saragossa: thus he would make the author commit perjury, trap him as a complete liar, and hold him up to ridicule before the whole world. The gentlemen thought this a most ingenious way to treat the blaspheming author, and made a suggestion that there were to be other jousts at Barcelona, to which he would be welcomed; and Don Quixote announced that he would go there instead. Then he begged leave in his usual courteous manner to retire, and withdrew to his room.

That made the knight change his mind immediately. Now he was set on not stepping foot in Saragossa; this way, he would force the author to lie, catch him as a complete fraud, and make him a laughingstock in front of everyone. The gentlemen considered this a really clever way to deal with the blasphemous author and suggested that there would be other tournaments in Barcelona, where he would be welcomed; and Don Quixote declared that he would go there instead. Then he politely asked to leave and went back to his room.

Early on the following morning the knight rose, and bade good-by to his two new friends by knocking at the partition that separated their rooms, while Sancho paid the landlord for the lodging and the cow-heels. [Pg 297]

Early the next morning, the knight got up and said goodbye to his two new friends by knocking on the wall that separated their rooms, while Sancho paid the landlord for the stay and the cow-heels. [Pg 297]


CHAPTER LX

Of What Happened to Don Quixote on His Way to Barcelona

FOR six days Don Quixote and Sancho traveled without anything happening to them worth recording. At the end of the sixth day they came to a grove of oak and cork trees, where they dismounted and settled themselves for the night. Sancho, who had been nourished plentifully that day, at once fell asleep, but Don Quixote's mind wandered hither and thither into strange regions and imaginary places; and he thought of the sad plight of his beloved one. The more he considered the cruelty of his squire, the more enraged he became; and at last he decided that the only thing for him to do was to strip Sancho and administer the beating himself. With this intention he began to undo the squire's garments.

FOR six days Don Quixote and Sancho traveled without anything happening to them worth mentioning. At the end of the sixth day, they arrived at a grove of oak and cork trees, where they dismounted and settled in for the night. Sancho, who had eaten well that day, immediately fell asleep, but Don Quixote's mind roamed into strange and imaginary places; he thought about the sad situation of his beloved. The more he dwelled on the cruelty of his squire, the angrier he became; finally, he decided that the only thing he could do was to strip Sancho and give him a beating himself. With this intention, he began to take off the squire's clothes.

Sancho, being awakened and realizing his master's foul play, now had lost all desire for sleep. He reminded his master that the whipping would have no effect toward Dulcinea's disenchantment, unless it was applied voluntarily and by his own hand. But Don Quixote insisted that there must be an end to this nonsense, for he had no desire to let his peerless Dulcinea suffer because of his squire's uncharitable disposition. And then he proceeded, with Rocinante's reins in his hand, to give his squire, as he said, two [Pg 298] thousand lashes on account of the three thousand three hundred. But Sancho was on his feet in an instant, and began to grapple with his master, and he crushed his emaciated body almost to flatness in his firm grip. Then he suddenly let him loose and despatched him with a kick to no mean distance, and, still pursuing his victim, he there sat upon him. Don Quixote managed at last to gather all the breath that had not been squeezed out of him by the combat, and supported by that he ejaculated in a hoarse whisper:

Sancho, now wide awake and realizing his master's trickery, had completely lost any desire to sleep. He reminded his master that whipping wouldn’t help Dulcinea's situation unless it was done willingly and by his own hand. But Don Quixote insisted that this nonsense had to stop, as he didn’t want his beloved Dulcinea to suffer because of his squire’s unkindness. He then took the reins of Rocinante and prepared to give his squire, as he put it, two [Pg 298] thousand lashes for the three thousand three hundred. But Sancho jumped to his feet instantly and began to grapple with his master, crushing his thin body almost flat in his strong grip. Suddenly, he let him go and kicked him away a considerable distance, then sat on him as he pursued his victim. Don Quixote finally managed to catch his breath, which hadn’t been squeezed out of him during the struggle, and, supported by that, he muttered in a hoarse whisper:

"How now, traitor! Dost thou revolt against thy master and natural lord? Dost thou rise against him who gives thee his bread?"

"What's this, traitor! Are you betraying your master and rightful lord? Are you rising up against the one who provides for you?"

"I neither put down king, nor set up king," replied Sancho, himself somewhat out of breath. And then he proceeded to dictate the peace terms, and he extracted a promise from his natural lord never to try to whip him again, neither awake nor asleep.

"I don't bring down a king or elevate one," Sancho replied, a bit out of breath. Then he went on to outline the terms of peace and got his natural lord to promise that he would never try to whip him again, whether awake or asleep.

Then the victor disappeared in the grove and went to lie down against a tree: but just as he had placed himself comfortably, he was frightened almost to death by seeing two feet, with shoes and stockings, dangling in the air above his head. He ran to another tree, thinking he had been dreaming, and there he found a like apparition haunting him. He began to scream aloud, calling upon his master for help, and ran to search for him. Don Quixote asked him what had frightened him, and the squire replied that all the trees were full of feet and legs. Don Quixote calmly looked at the dead bodies in the trees and told his squire that no doubt they were outlaws that had been [Pg 299] hanged by the authorities; and he took them to be a sign that they were now close to Barcelona. They then lay down to rest for the night.

Then the victor disappeared into the grove and lay down against a tree. But just as he got comfortable, he was nearly scared to death by the sight of two feet, with shoes and stockings, dangling in the air above him. He rushed to another tree, thinking he must have been dreaming, and found the same eerie sight haunting him there. He started to scream for help, calling out to his master, and ran off to look for him. Don Quixote asked what had frightened him, and the squire replied that all the trees were filled with feet and legs. Don Quixote calmly looked at the dead bodies in the trees and told his squire that they were probably outlaws who had been hanged by the authorities. He believed it was a sign that they were now close to Barcelona. They then lay down to rest for the night.

When they awoke at dawn, they found themselves surrounded by a band of men who turned out to be highwaymen. The band stripped them of all they possessed, and were just about to search Sancho further for money, when a swarthy-looking man in his thirties appeared, mounted on a splendid horse and armed with many pistols. It was their captain, and none other than the notorious Roque Guinart, a man who had taken to the life of banditry and hold-ups because of having been wronged by the authorities.

When they woke up at dawn, they discovered that a group of men had surrounded them, who turned out to be highway robbers. The gang took everything they had and were just about to search Sancho more thoroughly for cash when a dark-haired man in his thirties showed up, riding a magnificent horse and carrying several pistols. He was their leader, none other than the infamous Roque Guinart, a man who had turned to a life of crime and robbery because he felt wronged by the authorities.

When the bandit captain observed what his men were about to do to Sancho, he commanded them to stop, and to return everything they had taken away from the knight and his squire. He asked Don Quixote why he looked so dejected, and the knight responded that he was grieved that he had been taken unaware, saying that had he been armed with his lance and shield and mounted on his Rocinante when he found himself surrounded by these men, he would have defended himself to the last drop of his blood, in accordance with all the rules of knight-errantry. And then he told Roque that he was the Don Quixote of La Mancha who had filled the whole world with the wonder of his achievements; and he thanked him for his great courtesy and mercifulness.

When the bandit captain saw what his men were about to do to Sancho, he ordered them to stop and give back everything they had taken from the knight and his squire. He asked Don Quixote why he looked so down, and the knight replied that he was upset because he had been caught off guard. He said that if he had been armed with his lance and shield and on his Rocinante when he found himself surrounded by these men, he would have fought to the last drop of his blood, following all the rules of chivalry. Then he told Roque that he was Don Quixote of La Mancha, who had amazed the whole world with his deeds, and he thanked him for his kindness and mercy.

Just then they heard the violent sound of hoofs clattering against the hard road, and as they turned they beheld [Pg 300] a youth, extremely pleasing in appearance, who was coming their way in a wild gallop. As he reached them, he flung himself from his horse and addressed Roque, who then perceived that it was not a lad but a maiden. She said she was the daughter of his friend Simon Forte, and named Claudia Jeronima, and that she, unbeknown to her father, had fallen in love with and become engaged to the son of her father's arch enemy, Clauquel Torrellas, whose son was named Vicente. Yesterday, she went on, she had learned that he had promised to marry another one, and full of jealousy she had stolen upon him this morning in the guise that he now saw her in and shot him in the presence of his servants near his house. She had left him at once, and she now wanted Roque to procure for her a safe-conduct that she might take refuge in France where she had relatives. She also wanted to extract a promise from him to protect her father from the wrath and revenge of the Torrellas.

Just then, they heard the loud sound of hooves pounding against the hard road, and as they turned, they saw [Pg 300] a young person, very attractive, who was racing toward them. When he reached them, he jumped off his horse and spoke to Roque, who then realized that it wasn’t a boy but a girl. She introduced herself as Claudia Jeronima, the daughter of his friend Simon Forte, and explained that she had secretly fallen in love with and gotten engaged to her father's arch enemy's son, Clauquel Torrellas, whose name was Vicente. She continued that just yesterday she found out he had promised to marry someone else, and consumed by jealousy, she had sneaked up on him that morning in the disguise she wore now and shot him in front of his servants near his home. She had left him immediately and now wanted Roque to arrange for a safe passage so she could escape to France where she had relatives. She also wanted him to promise to protect her father from the wrath and revenge of the Torrellas family.

Roque was evidently much taken with the girl, for he gave her a glance full of admiration; nor had she failed to make an impression on Don Quixote and Sancho. Don Quixote wanted at once to go in quest of the knight and make him keep his troth, and Sancho added that his master was an admirable match-maker. But Roque hastily took leave of them, and accompanied only by the fair Claudia, he had soon come to the spot where she had left Don Vicente. This young gentleman was surrounded by some servants who had been attempting to carry him to his home, but he had begged them to take him no further, for [Pg 301] the pain was too great, he said and he felt that he was dying. All were astounded at the sight of the feared Roque, who dismounted with Claudia.

Roque was clearly very taken with the girl, as he gave her a look full of admiration; she had also made an impression on Don Quixote and Sancho. Don Quixote immediately wanted to set out to find the knight and make him honor his promise, while Sancho added that his master was an excellent matchmaker. But Roque quickly said goodbye to them, and accompanied only by the beautiful Claudia, he soon arrived at the place where she had left Don Vicente. This young man was surrounded by some servants who had been trying to carry him home, but he had insisted they take him no farther, claiming the pain was too intense and that he felt like he was dying. Everyone was shocked to see the feared Roque, who dismounted with Claudia.

The fair maiden approached her lover, and clasping his hand, she said: "Hadst thou given me this according to our compact thou hadst never come to this pass." And then the young lady told Don Vicente what she had heard; but he disavowed to her any intention to marry any one else but herself. Hearing this she broke down completely, flung herself upon his breast, and sobbed convulsively; and then she fainted.

The beautiful young woman walked up to her lover, took his hand, and said, "If you had given me this as we agreed, you wouldn't be in this situation." Then she told Don Vicente what she had heard, but he assured her that he had no intention of marrying anyone but her. Upon hearing this, she lost all composure, threw herself onto his chest, and cried uncontrollably; then she fainted.

When she came to, she found that her beloved one had passed away, and her grief then knew no bounds. Again and again she would be overcome by her feelings, and swoon so that they had to sprinkle water on her face. Roque was moved to tears, and so were the servants, and Claudia said that she would go into cloister for the rest of her life to atone for her sin. Roque approved of her decision, and offered to conduct her wherever she wished to go, but she declined his company, with many thanks, and bade him farewell in tears. Roque then directed the servants to take the body of Don Vicente to the dead man's father, and returned to his band.

When she woke up, she realized that her loved one had died, and her grief was beyond measure. Again and again, she would be overwhelmed by her emotions and faint, causing them to sprinkle water on her face. Roque was moved to tears, as were the servants, and Claudia declared that she would enter a convent for the rest of her life to atone for her sin. Roque supported her decision and offered to take her wherever she wanted to go, but she graciously declined his company and said goodbye to him in tears. Roque then instructed the servants to take Don Vicente's body to his father's house and went back to his group.

He found Don Quixote addressing his men on lawlessness, but they seemed to be little impressed with his sermon. Soon afterward a sentinel came up to his captain, and reported that people were coming along on the road to Barcelona, and Roque, having made certain that they were not armed troops out to enforce the law and in search of bandits, gave order to capture the travelers and have them brought before him. [Pg 302]

He saw Don Quixote talking to his men about lawlessness, but they didn't seem very interested in his speech. Shortly after, a lookout approached his captain and reported that some people were coming down the road to Barcelona. Roque, after confirming that they weren’t armed soldiers looking to uphold the law and hunt down bandits, ordered that the travelers be captured and brought to him. [Pg 302]

Here the outlaw revealed himself again to Don Quixote as a naturally kindly and tender-hearted man, for though the travelers possessed a good deal of money, he assessed them but one hundred and forty crowns. Of this money he gave the men of his band two crowns each; that left twenty crowns over, and this he divided between some pilgrims who were on their way to Rome and our worthy Sancho. The travelers were two captains of Spanish infantry, and some titled ladies; and the women felt so grateful to Roque for his generosity, and his unusual behavior and courtesy touched them so, that they wanted to kiss his hand, considering him in the light of a hero rather than a robber. Roque did not forget to give them a safe-conduct to the leaders of his bands, for there were many of them, operating all through that region.

Here, the outlaw showed himself again to Don Quixote as a naturally kind and gentle man. Even though the travelers had quite a bit of money, he only took one hundred and forty crowns from them. He gave the members of his gang two crowns each; that left him with twenty crowns, which he split between some pilgrims heading to Rome and our good Sancho. The travelers were two captains of Spanish infantry and some noble ladies, and the women were so grateful for Roque's generosity and his unusual behavior and courtesy that they wanted to kiss his hand, seeing him more as a hero than a robber. Roque also made sure to provide them with safe passage to the leaders of his gangs, as there were many of them operating throughout that area.

One of Roque's men seemed dissatisfied with such leniency as he had seen displayed, and voiced his opinion rather too loudly, for the leader of the band heard it, and the offender's head was nearly cleft open in the next second. The captain turned to Don Quixote and remarked that that was the way he punished impudence; then he calmly sat down and wrote a letter to a friend of his in Barcelona, telling him of the early arrival there of the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha, of whose exploits in knight-errantry the whole world knew; and, to be exact, he fixed Saint John the Baptist's day as the very day on which our knight would make his first appearance in the very midst of the city of Barcelona under the auspices of him to whom he addressed this letter, and who would be grateful for the infinite joy Don Quixote and his droll squire Sancho [Pg 303] Panza would afford him and the city. He sent the letter by one of his trusted followers, who, disguised as a peasant, made his way into Barcelona and delivered the letter to the right person.

One of Roque's men seemed unhappy with the leniency he had observed and voiced his opinion a bit too loudly, which caught the leader's attention, and in the next moment, the offender’s head was nearly split open. The captain turned to Don Quixote and commented that this was how he dealt with disrespect; then he calmly sat down and wrote a letter to a friend in Barcelona, informing him of the arrival of the famous Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose knight-errantry adventures were known worldwide. To be precise, he noted that Saint John the Baptist's day would be the exact day our knight would make his debut in the heart of Barcelona, with the support of the letter's recipient, who would appreciate the immense joy that Don Quixote and his amusing squire Sancho Panza would bring him and the city. He sent the letter with one of his trusted followers, who, disguised as a peasant, made his way into Barcelona and delivered it to the right person.


CHAPTER LXI

Of What Happened to Don Quixote on Entering Barcelona, Together With Other Matters That Partake of the True Rather Than the Ingenious

DON QUIXOTE remained with Roque for three days, and they were hectic days for our knight. Roque always slept apart from his men, for the viceroy of Barcelona had placed a great price on his head, and Roque was in constant fear that some one in his band would be tempted to deliver him up. On the fourth day he and Don Quixote, accompanied by Sancho and six of the band, made their way toward Barcelona; and on the night of St. John's Eve they reached the city. There Roque took farewell of the knight and his squire, and returned to his haunts in the woods.

DON QUIXOTE stayed with Roque for three days, which were eventful for our knight. Roque always slept away from his men because the viceroy of Barcelona had put a hefty bounty on his head, and Roque was constantly worried that someone in his group might betray him. On the fourth day, he and Don Quixote, along with Sancho and six members of the band, headed toward Barcelona; and on the night of St. John's Eve, they arrived in the city. There, Roque bid farewell to the knight and his squire before returning to his hideouts in the woods.

Throughout the night Don Quixote-kept guard over the city; and there he was still sitting on Rocinante when dawn appeared on the horizon, and Don Quixote and Sancho Panza for the first time in their lives beheld the sea. It seemed to them it was ever so much greater than any of the lakes they had seen in La Mancha. As the sun rose it was suddenly greeted with the ringing of bells, the din [Pg 304] of drums, the sound of clarions, and the trampling and clatter of feet on the streets; and from the galleys along the beach a mass of streamers in varied colors waved its welcome, to the music and the noise of bugles, clarions and trumpets from shipboard. Then cannons on ship and shore began to thunder, and a constant fire was kept up from the walls and fortress of the city. It was a noise and a spectacle that might have over-awed any one, even a less simple-minded person than Sancho, who stared open-mouthed at the wonders he beheld. He gasped when he saw the galleys rowed about by their oarsmen on the water, and he told his master he had never seen so many feet in his life. A troop of horsemen in extravagant liveries rode past them, where they were standing, and suddenly Don Quixote was startled by hearing some one call out in a loud voice: "Welcome to our city, mirror, beacon, star and cynosure of all knight-errantry in its widest extent! Welcome, I say, valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha! Not the false, the fictitious, the apocryphal one, but the true, the legitimate, the real one that Cid Hamet Benengeli, flower of historians, has described to us!"

Throughout the night, Don Quixote kept watch over the city, still sitting on Rocinante when dawn broke on the horizon, and for the first time, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza saw the sea. It appeared to them to be much larger than any of the lakes they had seen in La Mancha. As the sun rose, it was welcomed with the sounds of ringing bells, the noise of drums, the blast of trumpets, and the clamor of footsteps in the streets. From the galleys along the beach, a mass of colorful streamers waved in greeting, accompanied by the music and sounds of bugles, trumpets, and clarions from the ships. Then cannons on both ship and shore began to roar, and a continuous fire was maintained from the city walls and fortress. It was a noise and a sight that could have overwhelmed anyone, even someone less naive than Sancho, who stood there with his mouth agape at the wonders he was witnessing. He gasped when he saw the galleys being rowed by their oarsmen on the water and told his master that he had never seen so many feet in his life. A group of horsemen in elaborate uniforms rode past them where they stood, and suddenly Don Quixote was startled to hear someone call out loudly: “Welcome to our city, mirror, beacon, star, and center of all knight-errantry in its broadest sense! Welcome, I say, valiant Don Quixote of La Mancha! Not the false, the fictional, the pretend one, but the true, the legitimate, the real one that Cid Hamet Benengeli, the finest of historians, has described to us!”

Don Quixote felt flattered by the attention he suddenly attracted, for all eyes had turned to gaze upon his lean and queer person; although it may be said here, in confidence, that the man who had recognized the hero was no other than the one to whom the rogue Roque had written. The cavalier divulged his identity to Don Quixote, and begged him politely to accept his services while in Barcelona; and Don Quixote replied with as much courtesy that he would [Pg 305] follow him wherever he pleased and be entirely at his disposal. Then the horsemen closed in around him and they set out for the center of the city, to the music of a gay tune played by the clarions and drums.

Don Quixote felt flattered by the sudden attention he got, as all eyes were on his lean and quirky figure. Although, just between us, the man who recognized the hero was actually the same person to whom the trickster Roque had written. The nobleman revealed his identity to Don Quixote and politely offered his services while in Barcelona; Don Quixote responded just as courteously, saying he would gladly follow him anywhere and be completely at his service. Then the horsemen surrounded him, and they headed to the center of the city, accompanied by a lively tune played by the clarions and drums.

The Devil, however, was not asleep. He put temptation into the hearts of some street urchins, who stole their way into the close proximity of Rocinante's and Dapple's hindquarters, and there deposited a bunch of furze under their tails, with the fatal result that their riders were flung headlong into the crowd. Our proud hero, covered with dust and shame, pulled himself together and went to pick the flowers from the tail of his hack, while Sancho extracted the cause of Dapple's capers from his own mount. Then they mounted again, the music continued to play, and soon they found themselves at a large and impressive house, which they learned was occupied by the cavalier, who was a friend of Roque's.

The Devil, however, was wide awake. He sparked temptation in the hearts of some street kids, who crept up close to the back ends of Rocinante and Dapple, and there they stuffed a bunch of gorse under their tails, causing their riders to be thrown headfirst into the crowd. Our proud hero, covered in dust and embarrassment, gathered himself up and went to pick the flowers from his horse's tail, while Sancho removed the cause of Dapple's antics from his own mount. They got back on their horses, the music kept playing, and soon they arrived at a large and impressive house, which they discovered was occupied by a knight who was a friend of Roque's.


CHAPTER LXII

Which Deals with the Adventure of the Enchanted Head, Together with Other Trivial Matters Which Cannot Be Left Untold

THE cavalier turned out to be one Don Antonio Moreno, a gentleman with a great sense of humor, well read and rich. As soon as Don Quixote had entered the house, Don Antonio persuaded him to discard the suit of armor; then he took him out on the balcony, where he at once attracted all the boys in the street and crowds of [Pg 306] people, who gazed at him as if he had been a monkey. The cavaliers passed in review before the balcony, and the knight was given the impression that it was in his special honor they were bedecked as they were, for he did not realize that it was a holiday. Sancho was delighted beyond description. He was treated royally by the servants, who thought that they had never met any one quite as amusing as he. Don Antonio's friends were all instructed to pay homage to Don Quixote and at all times to address him as if he were a knight errant.

THE cavalier turned out to be one Don Antonio Moreno, a gentleman with a great sense of humor, well-read and wealthy. As soon as Don Quixote entered the house, Don Antonio convinced him to take off his suit of armor; then he took him out onto the balcony, where he immediately attracted all the boys in the street and crowds of [Pg 306] people, who stared at him as if he were a monkey. The knights rode by in front of the balcony, and the knight got the impression that they were dressed up in his honor, not realizing it was a holiday. Sancho was ecstatic. The servants treated him like royalty, believing they had never met anyone quite as entertaining as he. Don Antonio's friends were all told to pay respects to Don Quixote and always speak to him as if he were a knight-errant.

The flattery and honors were too much for the poor knight: they turned his head completely, and he became puffed up with his own importance. Sancho, too, amused Don Antonio and his guests exceedingly, and they enjoyed particularly hearing about his escapades as governor.

The compliments and accolades overwhelmed the poor knight: they made him feel arrogant and full of himself. Sancho also entertained Don Antonio and his guests a lot, and they especially enjoyed hearing about his adventures as governor.

After dinner that day, the host took Don Quixote into a distant room, which contained no furniture except a table, on which was a pedestal supporting a head made of what seemed to be bronze. After having acted in the most mysterious manner, and having carefully ascertained that all the doors to the room were shut and no one listening, Antonio swore the knight to secrecy. Then he proceeded to tell Don Quixote that the head he saw there before him had been made by a Polish magician, and possessed the magic faculty of being able to answer any question whispered into its ear. Only on certain days, however, did its magic assert itself, and the following day, which was the day after Friday—it had been astrologically worked out—would again witness the miracle. Don [Pg 307] Antonio asked the knight whether there was anything he should especially like to ask the head; if so, he could put the question to it on the morrow. Don Quixote seemed sceptical, but made no comment, and they returned to the other guests.

After dinner that day, the host took Don Quixote into a distant room that only had a table, with a pedestal supporting a head that looked like it was made of bronze. Acting very mysteriously and making sure all the doors were shut and nobody was listening, Antonio swore the knight to secrecy. He then went on to tell Don Quixote that the head in front of him had been created by a Polish magician and had the magical ability to answer any question whispered into its ear. However, its magic only worked on certain days, and the next day—which was the day after Friday—would be one of those days for the miracle to happen. Don [Pg 307] Antonio asked the knight if there was anything specific he wanted to ask the head; if so, he could ask it the next day. Don Quixote seemed doubtful but didn't say anything, and they went back to join the other guests.

In the afternoon the knight errant was placed on a tall mule, bedecked with beautiful trimmings, and himself encased in a heavy and uncomfortably warm garb of yellow cloth; then, unbeknown to him, they pinned on his back a parchment with this inscription in large letters: This is Don Quixote of La Mancha.

In the afternoon, the wandering knight was put atop a tall mule, adorned with beautiful decorations, and he was dressed in a heavy and uncomfortably warm yellow outfit; then, without his knowledge, they pinned a parchment to his back with this message in big letters: This is Don Quixote from La Mancha.

As they were parading through the streets the knight's vanity swelled more and more, for from every nook and corner there came great shouts of recognition. Soon he was unable to restrain his vainglorious nature, and he turned to his host and remarked to him with much satisfaction: "Great are the privileges knight-errantry involves, for it makes him who professes it known and famous in every region of the earth. See, Don Antonio, even the very boys of this city know me without ever having seen me." Finally the crowds increased so that Don Antonio was obliged to remove the parchment, and soon they had to take refuge in his house.

As they walked through the streets, the knight's pride grew more and more, because he heard cheers of recognition from every corner. Soon, he couldn't contain his boastful nature any longer, and he turned to his host and said with satisfaction, "The privileges of being a knight-errant are incredible, as they make anyone who carries the title known and celebrated all over the world. Look, Don Antonio, even the kids in this city recognize me, despite never having seen me before." Eventually, the crowds grew so large that Don Antonio had to take down the sign, and soon they had to seek refuge in his house.

In the evening Don Antonio's wife gave a dance, and it was amusing to see the tall and lank hero move about on the ballroom floor; the men gave him the opportunity to dance every dance, for they themselves enjoyed watching him better than dancing. At last Don Quixote was so exhausted both by the dancing and by the lovemaking that [Pg 308] the ladies had imposed on him—and how they delighted in hearing him avow his great love for Dulcinea—that Sancho had to take him to his room and put him to bed.

In the evening, Don Antonio's wife threw a dance party, and it was entertaining to watch the tall and awkward hero move around the ballroom floor. The men made sure he got to dance every song since they preferred watching him to actually dancing themselves. Eventually, Don Quixote became so worn out from both the dancing and the flirting that the ladies had insisted he engage in—and they loved hearing him profess his deep love for Dulcinea—that Sancho had to help him to his room and tuck him into bed.

The next day Don Antonio took his wife, Don Quixote, and a few intimate friends into the secret chamber, and after many mysterious preliminaries, the questioning of the head began. All seemed particularly interested in what Don Quixote would have to ask, and felt rewarded when his turn came, for this is what he demanded: "Tell me, thou that answerest, was that which happened to me in the cave of Montesinos the truth or a dream? Will my squire Sancho's whipping be accomplished without fail? Will the disenchantment of Dulcinea be brought about?"

The next day, Don Antonio brought his wife, Don Quixote, and a few close friends into the secret chamber. After a lot of mysterious buildup, they started questioning the head. Everyone seemed really interested in what Don Quixote would ask and felt pleased when it was finally his turn. This is what he asked: "Tell me, you who answer, was what happened to me in the cave of Montesinos real or just a dream? Will my squire Sancho definitely get his whipping? Will Dulcinea be set free from her enchantment?"

In a mysterious voice that seemed to come from a great distance, the head returned these answers: "As to the question of the cave, there is much to be said; there is something of both in it. Sancho's whipping will proceed leisurely. The disenchantment of Dulcinea will attain its due consummation."

In a mysterious voice that seemed to come from far away, the head gave these answers: "Regarding the cave, there’s a lot to discuss; it has aspects of both. Sancho's whipping will happen slowly. The disenchantment of Dulcinea will reach its proper conclusion."

Don Quixote heaved a sigh and declared that if only his peerless one were disenchanted, it would be all the good fortune he could wish for. Then Sancho tried his luck; but at the conclusion of Sancho's audience with the head, he did not seem properly awed, and his master became displeased with his pretentious expectations and reprimanded him severely in the presence of the whole company.

Don Quixote let out a sigh and said that if only his unmatched one were freed from her enchantment, it would be the best luck he could hope for. Then Sancho took his shot; however, when Sancho finished his meeting with the head, he didn't seem sufficiently impressed, which made his master unhappy with his lofty expectations and scolded him harshly in front of everyone.

All the while Sancho's incessant talking and his master's exalted behavior kept every one in an uproarious humor. The joke that Don Antonio had arranged consisted in having a student, a young nephew of Don Antonio's, placed in [Pg 309] a chamber underneath the one in which the head was, to receive the questions and speak the replies through a tube that led from the inside of the head to the room below. Soon after this form of amusement had taken place, it was agreed upon by the gentlemen of the city to arrange for a tilting at the ring, for they were convinced that such an exhibition would afford greater opportunities for mirth and laughter than anything else they might think of.

All the while, Sancho kept talking non-stop, and his master acted like he was on top of the world, which had everyone in a good mood. The prank that Don Antonio set up involved placing a student, his young nephew, in a room below the one where the head was. The student would receive questions and give replies through a tube that connected the inside of the head to the room below. Shortly after this entertainment began, the gentlemen of the city decided to organize a ring tossing event, believing it would provide even more chances for fun and laughter than anything else they could come up with.

One day Don Quixote and Sancho, accompanied by two of Don Antonio's servants, were walking on foot through the city, when they suddenly passed a printing shop; and, never having seen one, the knight entered with Sancho and the servants. He was as curious as usual, and asked the printer innumerable questions about the books that he was printing. He saw some of the printers reading the proofs of a book, and he turned to them and inquired what the title of the book was. They told him it was the Second Part of "The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha," adding that it was written by a certain person of Tordesillas. Upon hearing this, Don Quixote grew quite cold in his demeanor, and having moralized that fiction resembling truth is always greater than absurdly untruthful stories, he uttered a hope that the book would be burned to ashes. And then he turned his back on the astonished men and left the shop in great haste. [Pg 310]

One day, Don Quixote and Sancho, along with two of Don Antonio's servants, were walking through the city on foot when they suddenly came across a printing shop. Having never seen one before, the knight went in with Sancho and the servants. He was as curious as ever and asked the printer countless questions about the books being printed. He noticed some printers reading the proofs of a book and asked them what the title was. They replied that it was the Second Part of "The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha," explaining that it was written by someone from Tordesillas. Upon hearing this, Don Quixote became quite cold in his attitude, and after reflecting that fiction resembling truth is always better than completely absurd stories, he expressed a wish that the book would be burned to ashes. Then he turned his back on the astonished men and hurried out of the shop. [Pg 310]


CHAPTER LXIII

The Mishap That Befell Sancho Panza Through the Visit to the Galleys

THE afternoon of that same day Don Antonio took Don Quixote and Sancho on board one of the galleys, amid all the honors that accompany the visits of great and famous personages. There were fanfares, and cheers, and the firing of guns, and all the high-ranking officers of the army and navy who were in the city had been appealed to by Don Antonio Moreno and turned out to pay him their respects.

THE afternoon of that same day, Don Antonio took Don Quixote and Sancho on board one of the galleys, with all the honors that accompany visits from important and famous people. There were fanfares, cheers, the firing of guns, and all the high-ranking officers of the army and navy who were in the city had been invited by Don Antonio Moreno and came out to show their respect.

Don Quixote was delighted. He could scarcely find words to express his appreciation of such a magnificent and royal reception; and Sancho was almost carried away by the honors that were being paid his master. But when he saw all the men at the oars—stripped to the skin by the captain's command—he became afraid, for they seemed to him like so many devils.

Don Quixote was thrilled. He could hardly find the words to express how grateful he was for such a grand and royal welcome; and Sancho was almost overwhelmed by the respect being shown to his master. But when he saw all the rowers—ordered to strip down by the captain—he got scared, as they looked like a bunch of devils to him.

When Don Quixote and Sancho Panza had been presented to all the dignitaries, the captain escorted them to a platform on which he begged them to take their seats beside him. Sancho sat at the edge of the platform, next to one of the rowing devils (who had been instructed in advance by the captain what to do) and suddenly he felt himself lifted in the air by a pair of strong, muscular arms. The next instant he was in the clutches of another devil; [Pg 311] and passing from hand to hand, he went the rounds of the crew with such swiftness that the poor superstitious Sancho did not know whether he was dead, dreaming, or alive. Sancho's aërial expedition did not come to an end until he had been most unceremoniously deposited on the poop, where he landed in a strangely unbalanced condition—to the tremendous amusement of the crew and the onlookers. He was so dazed that it is doubtful whether he would have known his name, if he had been asked.

When Don Quixote and Sancho Panza were introduced to all the important people, the captain led them to a platform and asked them to sit next to him. Sancho sat at the edge of the platform, next to one of the rowing devils (who had been briefed by the captain in advance), and suddenly he felt himself lifted into the air by a pair of strong, muscular arms. In the next moment, he found himself in the grasp of another devil; [Pg 311] and being passed from person to person, he whirled around the crew with such speed that the poor superstitious Sancho didn’t know if he was dead, dreaming, or alive. Sancho's airborne adventure didn’t end until he was unceremoniously dropped on the poop deck, where he landed in a strangely unsteady state—much to the huge amusement of the crew and the spectators. He was so confused that it’s questionable whether he would have been able to remember his name if someone had asked him.

Seeing what had happened to his squire, Don Quixote thought it best to forestall himself from being put through any such ceremony; so he stood up, his hand on the hilt of his sword, and announced with fire in his eyes that any one who dared to attempt such a thing to him would suffer by having his head cut off. He had hardly finished his sentence before a noise was heard that frightened Sancho almost into insensibility. He thought that Heaven was coming off its hinges and about to fall on his sinful head. And even Don Quixote trembled with something closely akin to fear, and grew (if that were possible) pale under his yellow hue.

Seeing what had happened to his squire, Don Quixote thought it was best to prevent anyone from trying to put him through a similar humiliation; so he stood up, hand on the hilt of his sword, and declared with fire in his eyes that anyone who dared to attempt such a thing to him would have their head cut off. He had barely finished his sentence when a noise was heard that scared Sancho almost into unconsciousness. He thought Heaven was coming loose and about to fall on his sinful head. Even Don Quixote trembled with what felt like fear, turning (if that were possible) pale beneath his yellow complexion.

What the crew had done was to strike the awning and lower the yard and then hoist it up again with as much clatter and speed as they could produce, yet without uttering any human sound. This being done, the boatswain gave orders to weigh anchor, and as he went about on deck signaling with a whistle, he continually lashed and beat the backs of the naked oarsmen with a whip he had in his hand.

What the crew did was take down the awning and lower the yard, then hoist it back up as noisily and quickly as they could, but without making any human sound. Once that was done, the boatswain ordered the anchor to be raised, and while moving around the deck signaling with a whistle, he kept striking and whipping the bare backs of the oarsmen with a whip he held in his hand.

When Sancho saw all the red oars moving, he took them [Pg 312] to be the feet of enchanted beings, and he thought to himself: "It is these that are the real enchanted things, and not the ones my master talks of. What can those wretches have done to be whipped in that way; and how does that one man who goes along there whistling dare to whip so many? I declare this is Hell, or at least Purgatory!"

When Sancho saw all the red oars moving, he thought they were the feet of enchanted beings, and he said to himself: "These are the real enchanted things, not the ones my master talks about. What could those poor souls have done to be whipped like that? And how does that one guy who’s walking along whistling have the nerve to whip so many? I swear this is Hell, or at least Purgatory!"

But when Don Quixote noticed his squire's interest in the naked creatures at the oars, he turned and said to him softly: "Ah, Sancho my friend, how quickly and cheaply you might finish off the disenchantment of Dulcinea, if you would strip to the waist and take your place among those gentlemen! Amid the pain and sufferings of so many you would not feel your own much; and, moreover, perhaps the sage Merlin would allow each of these lashes, being laid on with a good hand, to count for ten of those which you must give yourself at last."

But when Don Quixote saw his squire’s interest in the naked rowers, he turned to him and said softly, “Ah, Sancho my friend, how quickly and easily you could break the spell on Dulcinea if you stripped to the waist and joined those gentlemen! Among the pain and suffering of so many, you wouldn’t feel your own as much; and besides, maybe the wise Merlin would allow each of those lashes, delivered with a strong hand, to count as ten of the ones you will have to give yourself in the end.”

But Sancho was not to be persuaded, and the general of the fortress, who was eager to know why Sancho was urged to lash himself, could not wait for a reply to his question, for there loomed up on the horizon a ship which attracted his attention, and he immediately gave orders to the captain to steer down upon it.

But Sancho couldn't be convinced, and the fortress commander, who wanted to find out why Sancho was being pressured to whip himself, didn't wait for an answer to his question because a ship appeared on the horizon that caught his eye, and he quickly ordered the captain to head toward it.

After an adventure on the seas, the first they had ever experienced, Don Quixote and Sancho came back to Barcelona that afternoon, and returned to the house of their host, escorted by the Viceroy, the General and the other high dignitaries. [Pg 313]

After their first-ever adventure at sea, Don Quixote and Sancho returned to Barcelona that afternoon, accompanied by the Viceroy, the General, and other high officials as they went back to their host's house. [Pg 313]


CHAPTER LXIV

Treating of the Adventure Which Gave Don Quixote More Unhappiness Than All That Had Hitherto Befallen Him

A FEW days after Don Quixote had visited the galley, he was riding along the beach one morning on Rocinante dressed in his armor, when suddenly he observed coming toward him a knight, also in full regalia, with a shining moon painted on his shield. As he came close to Don Quixote, he held in his horse, and spoke to our knight thus: "Illustrious knight, and never sufficiently extolled Don Quixote of La Mancha, I am the Knight of the White Moon, whose unheard-of achievements will perhaps recall him to thy memory. I come to do battle with thee and prove the might of thy arm, to the end that I make thee acknowledge and confess that my lady, let her be who she may, is incomparably fairer than thy Dulcinea del Toboso."

A FEW days after Don Quixote had visited the galley, he was riding along the beach one morning on Rocinante dressed in his armor when he suddenly saw a knight approaching him, also fully equipped, with a shining moon painted on his shield. As he got closer to Don Quixote, he reined in his horse and spoke to our knight, saying: "Illustrious knight, and never sufficiently praised Don Quixote of La Mancha, I am the Knight of the White Moon, whose incredible feats might remind you of me. I come to fight you and test the strength of your arm, so that you admit and confess that my lady, whoever she may be, is far more beautiful than your Dulcinea del Toboso."

And then the Knight of the White Moon went on to say that should he conquer Don Quixote, the Knight of the Lions must retire to his native village for a period of one year, and live there in peace and quiet, away from all knightly endeavors and deeds. Should, however, Don Quixote turn out to be the victor, he, the challenger, would gladly forfeit his head, as well as the renown of his many deeds and conquests, his arms and horse to him. He bade [Pg 314] Don Quixote consider the challenge and give a speedy answer, for he had but that day at his disposal for the combat.

And then the Knight of the White Moon said that if he defeated Don Quixote, the Knight of the Lions would have to go back to his hometown for a year and live there peacefully, away from all knightly activities and pursuits. However, if Don Quixote won, the challenger would gladly give up his head, along with the fame from his many deeds and victories, his armor, and his horse. He urged [Pg 314] Don Quixote to think about the challenge and respond quickly, as he only had that day for the fight.

Don Quixote was taken aback at the audacity and arrogance with which the knight had stated his demands, particularly when he took into consideration that he had never in his whole life heard him even spoken of, much less had he heard of the deeds and victorious combats he had named. But he accepted the challenge with calm pride on the conditions the Knight of the White Moon had given, barring the one which involved transferring his renown to Don Quixote's shoulders in case of his being vanquished. To our knight that seemed like taking too great chances, since he had no idea what the nature of the challenger's deeds might be, and since he was thoroughly satisfied with his own achievements.

Don Quixote was shocked by the boldness and arrogance with which the knight stated his demands, especially considering that he had never heard of him, let alone the deeds and victories he mentioned. However, he accepted the challenge with calm pride under the conditions set by the Knight of the White Moon, except for the one that required him to take on Don Quixote's reputation if he lost. To our knight, that felt like taking too big of a risk, since he had no idea what his opponent’s achievements were and was completely content with his own.

It so happened that the Viceroy had observed the Knight of the White Moon in conversation with Don Quixote, and thinking that some one had planned another joke on him, he hastened to Don Antonio's house, and got him to accompany him to the beach, where they found the two knights just taking their distance, and about to commence the combat. Don Antonio was as startled when he saw the other knight as the Viceroy had been, and neither one could make up his mind whether the whole thing was a joke, or not, for no one there seemed to know who the Knight of the White Moon was. However, the two gentlemen at last decided it could be nothing but a prank, planned by some gentleman for his own amusement. The Viceroy then turned to the knight and, learning that the [Pg 315] combat was being fought to decide a question of precedence of beauty, bade them set to if both of them still remained unshaken and inflexible in their convictions. The two combatants, having thanked the Viceroy for his permission, separated and again took up the necessary distance. Their horses wheeled around and the knights came against each other with all the speed their mounts were capable of. But the Knight of the White Moon was mounted on a steed that completely outshone the poor Rocinante, for when they clashed, the poor hack fell from the mere force of the contact, and Don Quixote leaped over his head onto earth. At once the unknown knight held his lance over his visor and threatened him with death unless he confessed to being vanquished and acknowledged that he would abide by the conditions of the combat.

It turned out that the Viceroy had seen the Knight of the White Moon talking to Don Quixote, and thinking someone was playing another prank on him, he rushed to Don Antonio's house and got him to come with him to the beach, where they found the two knights just getting ready to fight. Don Antonio was as shocked to see the other knight as the Viceroy had been, and neither of them could decide if this was all a joke or not, because no one there seemed to know who the Knight of the White Moon was. Eventually, both gentlemen concluded it had to be just a prank set up by someone for fun. The Viceroy then addressed the knight and, upon learning that the [Pg 315] fight was to determine a question of beauty, told them to go ahead if they were both still firm in their beliefs. The two fighters, after thanking the Viceroy for the go-ahead, stepped back and took their positions. Their horses turned around, and the knights charged at each other with all the speed they could muster. However, the Knight of the White Moon was riding a horse that completely outshined poor Rocinante, and when they collided, Rocinante fell from the sheer impact, sending Don Quixote tumbling to the ground. Immediately, the unknown knight raised his lance over his visor and threatened to kill him unless he admitted defeat and agreed to the terms of their fight.

In a feeble voice Don Quixote answered him that in spite of his defeat Dulcinea still was the most beautiful woman in the world, but that now that his honor had been taken away from him, he might as well die; and he begged the knight to drive home the blow of his lance. But the Knight of the White Moon was a generous gentleman. He said he would not have our hero deny the beauty of his Dulcinea in deference to his own lady; all that he asked was that Don Quixote return to his village of La Mancha and give up knight-errantry as he had promised. Don Quixote rose in a sorry and battered condition and swore that he would keep his word like a true knight errant; and in the next instant the mysterious Knight of the White Moon set off toward the city at a quick canter. [Pg 316]

In a weak voice, Don Quixote responded that even though he had been defeated, Dulcinea was still the most beautiful woman in the world. However, now that his honor had been taken away, he might as well die; he pleaded with the knight to deliver the final blow with his lance. But the Knight of the White Moon was a kind gentleman. He said he wouldn’t make our hero deny the beauty of his Dulcinea just to honor his own lady. All he asked was that Don Quixote return to his village of La Mancha and give up knight-errantry as he had promised. Don Quixote stood up in a sorry and beaten state and swore that he would keep his word like a true knight-errant; and in the next moment, the mysterious Knight of the White Moon rode off toward the city at a fast pace. [Pg 316]

As soon as the unknown knight had left, the Viceroy, Don Antonio and Sancho hastened to Don Quixote's side. They found him covered with perspiration and stiff in all his limbs. Rocinante had not yet stirred, for he, too, was in a deplorable condition. Sancho for once had lost his speech, and all that had happened to his master in so short a time seemed to him proof that the enchanters were still pursuing him. Now that his master for some time to come was to be confined to their own village, there would be no chance for him to redeem the promise he had made to his squire. Altogether it seemed to Sancho a sad state of affairs.

As soon as the unknown knight left, the Viceroy, Don Antonio, and Sancho hurried to Don Quixote's side. They found him drenched in sweat and stiff all over. Rocinante hadn’t moved either, as he was in terrible shape too. For once, Sancho was at a loss for words, and everything that had happened to his master in such a short time convinced him that the enchanters were still after him. Now that his master would be stuck in their village for a while, there was no chance for him to fulfill the promise he made to his squire. Overall, it seemed to Sancho like a really unfortunate situation.

Don Quixote was in such a dilapidated condition that he had to be carried into the city in a hand-chair which the Viceroy had sent for, and they all escorted him to the house of Don Antonio.

Don Quixote was in such bad shape that he had to be carried into the city in a chair that the Viceroy had sent for, and everyone accompanied him to Don Antonio's house.


CHAPTER LXV

Wherein Is Made Known Who the Knight of the White Moon Was; Likewise Other Events

IN the city the Viceroy and Don Antonio tried to locate the Knight of the White Moon, and when they had found the hostel at which he was staying Don Antonio went to call on him and learned that he was the bachelor Samson Carrasco, from the very same village as Don Quixote. The bachelor, having explained his aims regarding the knight, packed his arms in a knapsack, took leave as [Pg 317] soon as he had told his story, and set off at once for La Mancha, mounted on a mule.

In the city, the Viceroy and Don Antonio tried to find the Knight of the White Moon, and when they discovered the hostel where he was staying, Don Antonio went to visit him. He found out that the Knight was actually Samson Carrasco, a bachelor from the same village as Don Quixote. After explaining his intentions regarding the knight, the bachelor packed his armor into a knapsack, said goodbye after sharing his story, and immediately set off for La Mancha on a mule.

A few days later, much to the sorrow of Sancho—who had never been so well fed in his life—Don Quixote and he took a fond farewell of their estimable and generous host who had heaped so many honors on them and who had enjoyed himself so tremendously at their expense. This time it was a sad and lonely journey on which they started. Don Quixote was mounted on Rocinante, who had somewhat recovered from his shock, but Sancho had to tread the trail on foot, for his Dapple had to serve as a carrier for the discarded armor of our late and lamented valiant Knight of the Lions.

A few days later, much to Sancho's regret—who had never eaten so well in his life—Don Quixote and he said a heartfelt goodbye to their esteemed and generous host, who had showered them with honors and had a great time at their expense. This time, they set off on a sad and lonely journey. Don Quixote was riding Rocinante, who had somewhat recovered from his previous ordeal, but Sancho had to walk, since his Dapple had to carry the discarded armor of the late and mourned valiant Knight of the Lions.


CHAPTERS LXVI-LXVII

Of the Resolution Which Don Quixote Formed to Turn Shepherd and Take to a Life in the Fields While the Year for Which He Had Given His Word Was Running Its Course; with Other Events Truly Delectable and Happy

TOWARD the end of the fifth day Don Quixote was resting in the shade of some trees, and as always happened when he lay down to rest, his thoughts turned to the disenchantment of his Dulcinea and a feeling of impatience with his selfish and uncharitable squire rose up within him. He pleaded with Sancho and implored him to go through with the ordeal bravely; but Sancho was unflinching in his stubbornness and insisted he could see no [Pg 318] reason why he should be coupled with the disenchantment of the peerless fair one. Thus Don Quixote could only pray that his squire might be moved by compassion to perform some day the deed that would liberate his lady.

TOWARD the end of the fifth day, Don Quixote was resting in the shade of some trees, and as always happened when he lay down to take a break, his thoughts turned to the disenchantment of his Dulcinea, and feelings of impatience with his selfish and unkind squire surged within him. He pleaded with Sancho and urged him to face the challenge bravely; but Sancho remained firm in his stubbornness and insisted he saw no [Pg 318] reason to be involved in the disenchantment of the unmatched beauty. So, Don Quixote could only hope that his squire might someday be moved by compassion to carry out the act that would free his lady.

While discussing this subject so close to his heart Don Quixote had decided to pursue his journey, and while they were traveling along on the road to their village they again engaged in conversation. Suddenly they found themselves passing the spot where they had been trampled on by the bulls, but Don Quixote, not wishing to have his thoughts return to anything so bitter, turned to Sancho and remarked that this was where they had encountered the gay shepherds and shepherdesses. And the next instant he had decided to emulate their example and turn shepherd himself, now that his calling of knight errant had come to an end; he would buy some ewes, he said, and together they would retire to some quiet pastoral nook where the woods and the fields met, and where pure crystal water sprang from the ledge of a rock and the fragrance of flowers was in the air. And there he would sing to Dulcinea, his platonic and only love. The thought of a life so calm and so far away from danger and knightly adventures pleased Sancho so greatly and made his enthusiasm run so high that he could not restrain a row of proverbs from falling from his lips. It was a flow so incessant that Don Quixote at last felt obliged to ask for a truce.

While talking about a subject that was very important to him, Don Quixote decided to continue his journey. As they traveled along the road back to their village, they started conversing again. Suddenly, they passed the spot where they had been trampled by the bulls. Not wanting to dwell on such a bitter memory, Don Quixote turned to Sancho and said that this was where they had met the cheerful shepherds and shepherdesses. In the next moment, he decided he would follow their example and become a shepherd himself, now that his quest as a knight-errant had come to an end. He mentioned that he would buy some sheep and together they would retreat to a peaceful pastoral spot where the woods met the fields, where pure crystal water flowed from the rocks, and the air was filled with the fragrance of flowers. There, he would sing to Dulcinea, his platonic and only love. The idea of such a calm life, away from danger and knightly adventures, thrilled Sancho so much that he couldn't help but let a stream of proverbs pour out of him. It was such an unending flow that Don Quixote eventually had to ask for a break.

Night had now fallen, and Don Quixote thought it best to withdraw from the roadway and take refuge for the night some distance away from it. Having supped, Sancho at once fell asleep, but his master sat up all that night, [Pg 319] thinking of Dulcinea and making up rhymes to the sweetness of her memory.

Night had fallen, and Don Quixote figured it was best to step away from the road and find a place to rest for the night a bit farther off. After having dinner, Sancho immediately fell asleep, but his master stayed awake all night, [Pg 319] thinking about Dulcinea and coming up with rhymes in honor of her memory.


CHAPTER LXVIII

Of the Bristly Adventure That Befell Don Quixote

DON QUIXOTE could not bear to see his squire sleep so restfully while he was being weighted down by all the cares of the world. So he woke Sancho, whose stolid unconcern about Dulcinea again was brought home to him, and almost went on his knees in order to induce him to scourge himself. He nearly wept in his efforts to have Sancho inflict the meager amount of three or four hundred lashes upon himself; but as ever the cruel squire remained unmoved. Don Quixote did everything in his power to entice him to do this beautiful deed of sacrifice. He held forth to him what a blessed night it would be for them, if he would only comply with his master's request, for then, Don Quixote suggested, they could spend the remainder of it singing, thus making this the beginning of the pastoral life to which they were about to devote themselves. But Sancho said he was no monk; and the idea of getting up in the middle of the night to perform such rituals did not appeal to him, he frankly avowed. The bewailings of his master, both in Castilian and in Latin, made no impression upon the hard-hearted Sancho, who remained as firm as the rock of Gibraltar, as far as the disenchantment was concerned. [Pg 320]

DON QUIXOTE couldn't stand to see his squire sleeping so peacefully while he was weighed down by all the worries of the world. So he woke Sancho, whose complete indifference to Dulcinea once again struck him, and almost knelt down to convince him to punish himself. He nearly cried trying to get Sancho to give himself a mere three or four hundred lashes; but, as always, the heartless squire remained unmoved. Don Quixote did everything he could to persuade him to carry out this noble act of sacrifice. He told him what a blessed night it would be for them if he would just go along with his master's request, suggesting that afterward, they could spend the rest of the night singing, making it the start of the pastoral life they were about to embrace. But Sancho said he wasn't a monk; the idea of getting up in the middle of the night to perform such rituals didn't appeal to him at all, he honestly admitted. His master's lamentations, in both Castilian and Latin, had no effect on the tough-minded Sancho, who remained as steadfast as Gibraltar when it came to the enchantment. [Pg 320]

Don Quixote had just made up his mind that it was a useless task to try to prevail upon Sancho at that hour to do his duty, when suddenly there was heard a tremendous and terrifying noise, which increased as it seemed to come closer. Sancho was so frightened that he at once took refuge behind Dapple, entrenching himself between the pack-saddle and his master's discarded armor; and Don Quixote got palpitation of the heart, and began to shiver. As Sancho peeped from behind his entrenchments and Don Quixote took courage to look, the grunting drove of six hundred pigs—for that is what it was—was so close upon them that in the next moment they found themselves knocked to the ground; but it was some time before all of the snorting, disrespectful animals had passed their dirty feet over the prostrate bodies of the knight, his squire and their beasts and provisions.

Don Quixote had just decided it was pointless to try to convince Sancho to do his duty at that moment when suddenly a loud and scary noise was heard, growing closer. Sancho was so scared that he rushed to hide behind Dapple, barricading himself between the pack-saddle and his master’s discarded armor; and Don Quixote’s heart raced, and he began to tremble. As Sancho peeked out from behind his cover and Don Quixote gathered the courage to look, they saw that the source of the noise was a herd of six hundred pigs—so close that in the next moment, they were knocked to the ground; it took a while before all the snorting, unruly animals had trampled over the fallen bodies of the knight, his squire, and their animals and supplies.

Sancho rose first, smeared with dirt, and having been stirred to unusual depths by the condition in which he found himself, he begged his master to let him take his sword, saying he felt he had to kill some of the pigs in order to be soothed. The exceedingly bad manners they had displayed and especially the fact that they had crushed all the provisions into nothingness, had produced an ire in Sancho that seemed wellnigh irrepressible.

Sancho got up first, covered in dirt, and feeling deeply affected by his situation, he asked his master if he could take his sword, saying he felt the need to kill some of the pigs to calm himself down. Their incredibly rude behavior and especially the way they had ruined all the provisions made Sancho extremely angry, almost beyond control.

But Don Quixote calmed his squire with these words, spoken with a melancholy air: "Let them be, my friend. This insult is the penalty of my sin, and it is the righteous chastisement of Heaven that jackals should devour a vanquished knight, and wasps sting him and pigs trample him under foot." [Pg 321]

But Don Quixote reassured his squire with these words, spoken with a sad demeanor: "Let it go, my friend. This insult is the consequence of my wrongdoing, and it is the just punishment from Heaven that jackals should feast on a defeated knight, and wasps sting him while pigs trample him." [Pg 321]

To this Sancho Panza retorted pensively: "I suppose it is the chastisement of Heaven, too, that flies should prick the squires of vanquished knights, and lice eat them, and hunger assail them. If we squires were the sons of the knights we serve, or their very near relations, it would be no wonder if the penalty of their misdeeds descended upon us, even to the fourth generation. But what have the Panzas to do with the Quixotes? Well, let us lie down again and sleep out what little of the night there is left, and God will send us dawn and we shall be all right."

To this, Sancho Panza replied thoughtfully: "I guess it's just the punishment from Heaven that flies bother the squires of defeated knights, and lice infest them, and hunger torments them. If we squires were the children of the knights we serve, or their close relatives, it wouldn't be surprising if the consequences of their actions fell on us, even down to the fourth generation. But what do the Panzas have to do with the Quixotes? Anyway, let's lie down again and sleep through what little night is left, and God will bring us morning, and we'll be fine."

Sancho lay down and slept, but his master sat up and commenced his emulation of the life of a shepherd by singing the song he had composed to his great love, accompanying it with his own sighs, and many wet tears. At last daylight came, and the sun awakened them both. Sancho began to rub his eyes, and they both got up and made ready to journey further. But before leaving Sancho again cursed the pigs for having ruined his stores.

Sancho lay down and went to sleep, but his master stayed awake and started to live like a shepherd by singing the song he had written for his great love, adding his own sighs and many tears. Finally, daylight arrived, and the sun woke them both up. Sancho rubbed his eyes, and they both got up and got ready to continue their journey. But before leaving, Sancho once again cursed the pigs for ruining his supplies.

He and his master had traveled the whole day, when they encountered a number of men on horseback, and four or five men on foot, all heavily armed. Don Quixote's heart ached, for he could not forget his promise to the Knight of the White Moon. The men who were mounted approached our hero and Sancho, and surrounded them without speaking a word. Don Quixote attempted to ask a question, but one of them warned him to be silent by putting a finger to his lips, while another one pointed his lance against the knight's breast. Still another one took Rocinante by the bridle; while Sancho was being treated in the same manner by some of the others. Both [Pg 322] Don Quixote and Sancho began to be worried as to the outcome of this adventure, for the whole proceeding seemed to them utterly mysterious.

He and his master had traveled all day when they ran into a group of men on horseback and four or five armed men on foot. Don Quixote felt a tightness in his chest because he couldn’t forget his promise to the Knight of the White Moon. The mounted men approached our hero and Sancho, surrounding them without saying a word. Don Quixote tried to ask a question, but one of them silenced him by putting a finger to his lips, while another pointed his lance at the knight's chest. Yet another took hold of Rocinante's bridle; Sancho was being handled in the same way by some of the others. Both [Pg 322] Don Quixote and Sancho started to worry about how this situation would turn out, as everything seemed completely mysterious to them.

They rode all that day, unable to make out where they were being taken, or who their mysterious captors were, and at last night came. All the while the men were calling them all kinds of names, such as "bloodthirsty lions," "cannibals," "murderous Polyphemes" etc.; and Sancho was scared out of his wits, while Don Quixote was at his wits ends. Both were convinced that some terrible misfortune was in store for them, and they could only pray that they would get out of it as easily as possible.

They rode all day, unable to see where they were being taken or who their mysterious captors were, and finally night fell. Throughout the journey, the men yelled all sorts of names at them, like "bloodthirsty lions," "cannibals," "murderous Polyphemes," and so on; Sancho was utterly terrified, while Don Quixote was completely at a loss. Both were sure that some terrible fate awaited them, and they could only hope to escape it as easily as possible.

Before they knew it, it was midnight, and soon after that Don Quixote recognized a castle, which he saw in the distance, as that of the Duke. He was amazed when he found that the men were taking him there, and he said to himself: "God bless me! What does this mean? It is all courtesy and politeness in this house; but with the vanquished, good turns into evil, and evil into worse." They entered the court, and found it arrayed in such a manner that they could not help being amazed and speechless, and they felt fear creeping into their hearts. [Pg 323]

Before they realized it, it was midnight, and shortly after that, Don Quixote spotted a castle in the distance, which he recognized as the Duke's. He was astonished to find out that the men were taking him there, and he thought to himself, "Goodness! What does this mean? Everyone is so polite and courteous in this place; but among the defeated, kindness turns to cruelty, and cruelty turns to something even worse." They entered the courtyard and were so taken aback by its appearance that they were left speechless, and fear began to creep into their hearts. [Pg 323]


CHAPTER LXIX

Of the Strangest and Most Extraordinary Adventure That Befell Don Quixote in the Whole Course of This Great History

AS soon as the horsemen had dismounted, they and the men on foot carried Don Quixote and Sancho bodily into the center of the court, which was illuminated with hundreds of torches and lamps placed all around it. In the very center there was a catafalque, elevated to a height of several yards above the ground and covered by a huge canopy of black velvet. To the catafalque steps led from all around, and on the steps were hundreds of wax tapers burning in silver candlesticks. On the catafalque lay the dead body of a beautiful maiden. On one side of the stage there was a large platform on which sat two figures, with scepters in their hands and crowns on their heads: judging by this, Don Quixote thought they must be royal personages. On the side of this platform were two empty chairs, to which Don Quixote and Sancho were led. And when they had seated themselves and turned around to observe what was going to happen, they were suddenly startled by seeing their friends, the Duke and the Duchess, mount the platform and seat themselves next to the royalty.

As soon as the horsemen got off their horses, they and the foot soldiers carried Don Quixote and Sancho right into the middle of the courtyard, which was lit up by hundreds of torches and lamps placed all around. In the center stood an elevated platform several yards high, covered by a massive black velvet canopy. Steps led up to the platform from all sides, and hundreds of wax candles were burning in silver candlesticks on the steps. On the platform lay the body of a beautiful young woman. On one side of the stage, there was a large platform where two figures sat, holding scepters and wearing crowns. Judging by this, Don Quixote thought they must be royalty. Next to that platform were two empty chairs, and Don Quixote and Sancho were led to them. Once they sat down and turned to see what was happening, they were suddenly surprised to see their friends, the Duke and the Duchess, come up to the platform and sit next to the royal figures.

Don Quixote and Sancho both paid them homage by rising and bowing profoundly, and the ducal pair returned [Pg 324] their compliment with a slight bow of the head. Following them came a long row of attendants. Then suddenly Don Quixote came to realize that the corpse was none other than that of the fair Altisidora, whose love he had scorned, and that shocked him greatly.

Don Quixote and Sancho both honored them by standing up and bowing deeply, and the duke and duchess returned the gesture with a subtle nod of their heads. Following them was a long line of attendants. Then suddenly, Don Quixote realized that the body was none other than the lovely Altisidora, whose love he had rejected, and this deeply shocked him.

Some one connected with the ceremonies passed at that moment and threw a robe of black buckram covered with painted red flames of fire over Sancho and, removing his cap, put on his head a miter of the kind that those who were undergoing the sentence of the Holy Office wore. At the same time he whispered in Sancho's ear that if he opened his lips, his life would not be safe.

Somebody involved in the ceremonies walked by at that moment and draped a black buckram robe covered in painted red flames over Sancho. After taking off his cap, he placed a miter on Sancho's head, like the ones worn by those facing the sentences of the Holy Office. At the same time, he whispered in Sancho's ear that if he said anything, his life would be in danger.

At first Sancho, seeing all the flames that seemed to be licking his body, got frightened, but when he found that no heat ensued and nothing else happened, his worries ceased. In the next moment his and his master's attention was attracted by low, sweet sounds of music and singing that seemed to vibrate from underneath the catafalque; and then there appeared a youth with a harp, and he sang a song that dealt with the cruelty of Don Quixote toward the fair Altisidora, who now was dead from a broken heart.

At first, Sancho was scared when he saw all the flames that looked like they were licking his body, but when he realized there was no heat and nothing else happened, he relaxed. In the next moment, both he and his master were drawn to the soft, sweet sounds of music and singing coming from beneath the catafalque; then a young man appeared with a harp and sang a song about how cruel Don Quixote had been to the beautiful Altisidora, who had now died from a broken heart.

When he had sung of her charms, one of the two who seemed like kings rose from his seat and spoke. He, Minos, who sat in judgment with Rhadamanthus, now begged the latter to stand up and announce what must be done in order to affect the resuscitation and restoration of the damsel Altisidora. As soon as he had declaimed all he had to say, he sat down, and in the next moment Rhadamanthus rose and decreed that all the officials gather quickly and attach the person of Sancho Panza, as through [Pg 325] him alone Altisidora's restoration could be effected, he said, by his receiving twenty-four smacks in the face, twelve pinches and six pin-thrusts in the back and arms.

When he finished singing about her beauty, one of the two who looked like kings got up and spoke. He, Minos, who was judging alongside Rhadamanthus, then asked Rhadamanthus to stand up and announce what needed to be done to bring the lady Altisidora back to life. Once he said everything he needed to, he sat down, and in the next moment, Rhadamanthus stood up and ordered all the officials to gather quickly and capture Sancho Panza, because according to him, Altisidora could only be restored through him, by giving him twenty-four slaps in the face, twelve pinches, and six pin thrusts in the back and arms.

Nobody but Sancho objected to the King's proclamation; but Sancho was emphatic enough for a multitude. "Body of me!" he replied unhesitatingly. "What has mauling my face got to with the resurrection of this damsel? The old woman takes kindly to my persecution; they enchant Dulcinea, and whip me in order to disenchant her. Altisidora dies of ailments God was pleased to send her, and to bring her to life they must give me four-and-twenty smacks, and prick holes in my body with pins, and raise weals on my arms with pinches! Try those jokes on a brother-in-law; I am an old dog, and its no use with me."

Nobody but Sancho challenged the King's proclamation; but Sancho was passionate enough for a crowd. "Damn it!" he replied without hesitation. "What does beating my face have to do with bringing this lady back? The old woman seems to enjoy torturing me; they enchant Dulcinea and abuse me to break the spell. Altisidora is suffering from the ailments that God has given her, and to bring her back to life, they have to give me twenty-four slaps, poke me with pins, and pinch my arms until they leave marks! Try those tricks on a brother-in-law; I'm no fool, and it won't work on me."

But Rhadamanthus was bent in carrying out his threat. He gave a sign to one of the attendants, and in the next moment a procession of duennas started toward Sancho with raised hands. Sancho saw them coming against him, he grew frantic, and began to bellow like a bull, crying out: "I might let myself be handled by all the world; but allow duennas to touch me? Not a bit of it! Scratch my face, as my master was served in this very castle; run me through the body with burnished daggers; pinch my arms with red-hot pincers; I shall bear all in patience to serve these gentlefolk; but I will not let duennas touch me, though the devil himself should carry me off!"

But Rhadamanthus was determined to follow through on his threat. He signaled to one of the attendants, and a moment later, a line of women in charge of the household approached Sancho with their hands raised. As he saw them coming toward him, he became frantic and started bellowing like a bull, shouting: "I might let anyone handle me; but let duennas touch me? No way! Scratch my face, just like my master was treated in this very castle; stab me with shiny daggers; pinch my arms with red-hot tongs; I’ll endure anything to serve these fine people; but I won’t let duennas touch me, even if the devil himself were to carry me off!"

Here Don Quixote thought it was time for him to add his plea to that of the King, and he began to reason with Sancho. At last he subdued him somewhat, and by that time the duennas had reached the spot where Don Quixote [Pg 326] and Sancho were seated, and one of them came up, curtsied, and gave the poor squire a smack on the face that nearly unseated him, and that made him exclaim: "Less politeness and less paint, Señora Duenna. By God, your hands smell of vinegar-wash!"

Here Don Quixote thought it was time for him to add his plea to that of the King, so he started reasoning with Sancho. Eventually, he managed to sway him a bit, and by that time, the female attendants had arrived at the spot where Don Quixote [Pg 326] and Sancho were sitting. One of them approached, curtsied, and gave the poor squire a slap on the face that nearly knocked him off his seat, prompting him to exclaim: "Less politeness and less makeup, Señora Duenna. Honestly, your hands smell like vinegar!"

No sooner had Sancho uttered these words than he was smacked and pinched by nearly all the rest of them, until at last he lost his temper and seized a lighted torch, with which he pursued the flying duennas in an uncontrollable rage, crying: "Begone, ye ministers of Hell! I am not made of brass not to feel such out-of-the-way tortures."

No sooner had Sancho said this than he was smacked and pinched by almost everyone else, until finally he lost his temper and grabbed a lit torch, which he used to chase after the fleeing duennas in an uncontrollable rage, shouting, "Get out of here, you agents of Hell! I'm not made of brass to not feel such crazy torture."

But just then Altisidora—who probably was tired of lying on her back such a long time—moved, and in the next moment exclamations were heard from all in the court: "Altisidora is alive! Altisidora lives!"

But just then Altisidora—who was probably tired of lying on her back for so long—moved, and in the next moment, everyone in the court started shouting: "Altisidora is alive! Altisidora is living!"

Now that the great miracle had been attained, Rhadamanthus turned to Sancho and bade him still his anger; and Don Quixote again entreated Sancho, since he so nobly had proven that virtue now was ripe in him, to go to work and disenchant his Dulcinea in the same breath. To this Sancho replied:

Now that the amazing miracle had been achieved, Rhadamanthus turned to Sancho and urged him to calm his anger; and Don Quixote once more asked Sancho, since he had so wonderfully shown that he was now truly virtuous, to get to work and free his Dulcinea right away. To this, Sancho replied:

"That is trick upon trick, I think, and not honey upon pancakes. A nice thing it would be for a whipping to come now, on the top of pinches, smacks, and pin-proddings! You had better take a big stone and tie it round my neck, and pitch me into a well; I should not mind it much, if I am to be always made the cow of the wedding for the cure of other people's ailments. Leave me alone; or else by the Lord I shall fling the whole thing to the dogs, come what may!" [Pg 327]

"That's just trick after trick, not sweet stuff on pancakes. It would be a nice touch to get a beating on top of all the pinches, slaps, and pokes! You might as well take a heavy stone, tie it around my neck, and toss me into a well; I wouldn’t care much, if I’m just going to be the scapegoat at this wedding to fix everyone else's problems. Leave me alone; otherwise, I swear I’ll throw the whole thing away, no matter the consequences!" [Pg 327]

By this time Altisidora had entirely recovered from her death and was now sitting up on the catafalque. The music was again heard, the voices sang, and all came forward to help the young maiden down from her elevated position.

By this point, Altisidora had fully recovered from her death and was now sitting up on the catafalque. The music played again, the voices sang, and everyone came forward to help the young woman down from her high position.

Altisidora acted as if she were just coming out of a long, long sleep; and when she saw the Kings and the Duke and the Duchess she bowed her head to them in respect. Then she asked the Lord to forgive Don Quixote for his cruelty, while she praised and thanked Sancho Panza for his sacrifice, and offered to give him six smocks of hers to make into shirts for himself, adding that if they were not quite whole, they were at least all clean. On hearing this, Sancho fell on his knees and kissed her hands; and then one of the attendants approached him, at the order of the Duke, and asked him to return the red robe and the miter. Sancho, however, wanted to keep them to show to his villagers as a remembrance of his marvelous experience; and when the Duchess heard of his desire she commanded that they be given to her friend as a token of her everlasting esteem.

Altisidora acted like she was just waking up from a really long sleep; and when she saw the Kings and the Duke and the Duchess, she bowed her head to them out of respect. Then she asked the Lord to forgive Don Quixote for his cruelty, while she praised and thanked Sancho Panza for his sacrifice, offering to give him six of her smocks to make into shirts for himself, adding that even if they weren't in perfect condition, they were at least all clean. Upon hearing this, Sancho fell to his knees and kissed her hands; then one of the attendants approached him, at the Duke's request, and asked him to return the red robe and the miter. However, Sancho wanted to keep them to show his villagers as a reminder of his incredible experience; and when the Duchess heard about his wish, she ordered that they be given to her friend as a sign of her lasting esteem.

Soon everybody had left the court and retired to their quarters, and the Duke had Don Quixote and Sancho shown to their old chambers. [Pg 328]

Soon everyone had left the court and headed to their rooms, and the Duke had Don Quixote and Sancho taken to their old chambers. [Pg 328]


CHAPTER LXX

Which Follows Chapter Sixty-Nine and Deals with Matters Indispensable for the Clear Comprehension of This History

SANCHO slept that night in the same chamber with Don Quixote. It was some time before he went asleep, however, for the pain of the pinching and smacking was quite evident. Don Quixote was inclined to talk, but Sancho begged him to let him sleep in peace for the remainder of the night, and at last both master and servant fell into slumber.

SANCHO slept that night in the same room as Don Quixote. It took him a while to fall asleep, though, because he was feeling the effects of the pinching and smacking. Don Quixote wanted to chat, but Sancho asked him to let him sleep in peace for the rest of the night, and eventually, both the master and the servant drifted off to sleep.

In the meantime it might be told how it came about that Don Quixote came to visit the ducal castle again. The bachelor Samson Carrasco, having learned as much as he could from the page that carried the letter to Teresa Panza of the whereabouts of the hero, decided that the time had come for another combat with him. Thus he procured a new suit of armor and a fresh horse and set out to find the Duke's castle. Having reached it, he had a long conversation with the Duke, wherein he told him it was his great desire to bring Don Quixote back to his village and his friends, hoping that if he could defeat him in battle Don Quixote could be made to return of his own free will and in time be cured of his strange affliction. He then followed him to Saragossa, for which city he had set out when [Pg 329] he left the Duke's castle, but finally traced him to Barcelona, where the bachelor encountered him with the result that he promised to return to his village and give up knight-errantry for a year.

In the meantime, it should be mentioned how Don Quixote ended up visiting the ducal castle again. The bachelor Samson Carrasco, having gathered as much information as he could from the page who delivered the letter to Teresa Panza about the hero's location, decided it was time for another showdown with him. So, he got a new suit of armor and a fresh horse and set off to find the Duke's castle. Once he arrived, he had a lengthy discussion with the Duke, during which he expressed his strong desire to bring Don Quixote back to his village and friends, hoping that if he could defeat him in battle, Don Quixote would willingly return and eventually be cured of his strange obsession. He then followed him to Saragossa, which was his destination when he left the Duke's castle, but ultimately tracked him down in Barcelona, where the bachelor met him and secured a promise that he would return to his village and give up knight-errantry for a year.

On his way home, the bachelor, at the Duke's request, had stopped at the castle to inform him of the outcome of the combat, and it was then that the Duke decided to play the knight and his squire another joke. The Duke had his men stationed everywhere on the road that led from Barcelona, and it was thus that they were able to bring in Don Quixote in the manner and at the hour that they did.

On his way home, the bachelor, at the Duke's request, stopped at the castle to update him on the outcome of the fight, and that’s when the Duke came up with another joke to play on the knight and his squire. The Duke had his men positioned all along the road from Barcelona, which is how they were able to capture Don Quixote in the way and at the time that they did.

When daylight arrived the morning after Altisidora's coming to life, Don Quixote awoke and found her in his presence; and the instant he saw her he showed his modesty and his confusion by pulling the sheet over his head. But while Don Quixote was not inclined to converse with a maiden so early in the morning, Sancho showed no aversion to it whatever, for he bombarded Altisidora with all kinds of impertinent questions as to what was going on in Hell when she was there. Of course Altisidora denied having any intimate knowledge of this place, for in spite of her immodesty she had only got as far as the gates, she said.

When morning came the day after Altisidora woke up, Don Quixote woke up to find her there with him; as soon as he saw her, he showed his modesty and embarrassment by pulling the sheet over his head. However, while Don Quixote wasn’t up for talking to a young woman so early in the day, Sancho had no issue with it at all. He started bombarding Altisidora with all sorts of cheeky questions about what was happening in Hell while she was there. Naturally, Altisidora claimed she didn’t have any close knowledge of the place, saying that despite her immodesty, she had only made it as far as the gates.

Don Quixote now entered into the conversation and asked why the fair Altisidora had been so persistent in her love, when she knew that he would never change or give up his beloved Dulcinea, to whom he maintained he was born to belong. When she heard Don Quixote talk in this manner, Altisidora grew very angry with him, and exclaimed: "God's life! Don Stockfish, soul of a mortar, stone of a date, more obstinate and obdurate than a clown [Pg 330] asked a favor when he has his mind made up! If I fall upon you I shall tear your eyes out! Do you fancy, then, Don Vanquished, Don Cudgeled, that I died for your sake? All that you have seen to-night has been make believe; I am not the woman to let the black of my nail suffer for such a camel, much less die!"

Don Quixote joined the conversation and asked why the lovely Altisidora had been so relentless in her love, knowing full well that he would never change or give up his beloved Dulcinea, who he insisted he was destined to be with. When Altisidora heard Don Quixote speak this way, she became very angry and shouted: "Oh my God! Don Stockfish, soul of a mortar, stone of a date, more stubborn and hard-headed than a fool who asks for a favor when he’s already made up his mind! If I get my hands on you, I’ll claw your eyes out! Do you really think, Don Defeated, Don Beaten, that I died for you? Everything you’ve seen tonight has been an act; I’m not the type to let the tiniest bit of my effort go to waste for some loser, let alone die for it!"

Sancho interrupted her here and said he could well believe that; then he added: "All that about lovers pining to death is absurd. They may talk of it, but as far as doing it—Judas may believe that!"

Sancho interrupted her and said he could totally believe that; then he added: "All that talk about lovers wasting away is ridiculous. They might say it, but actually doing it—only Judas would buy that!"

Now the Duke and the Duchess entered, and after an animated conversation during which Sancho's amusing sayings as usual captivated his distinguished friends, Don Quixote begged leave to be on his way to his village. They granted him his request, and then they asked him whether he had forgiven Altisidora for having tried to capture his love. He replied saying that this lady's lack of virtue had its root in her idleness, and he recommended that the Duchess see to it that Altisidora was put to making lace or given some other employment. Sancho approved of his master's advice, and remarked sagely that he never had seen any lacemaker die for love; and he further illustrated the truth of Don Quixote's remark by his own experience on that score: when he was digging, he vowed, he never bothered with the thought of his old woman. The testimony of two such staunch friends of hers as Don Quixote and Sancho made the Duchess promise that hereafter she would keep the fair Altisidora employed so that no foolish thoughts might take her away from the path of virtue. As soon as the fair maiden heard her mistress speak thus, [Pg 331] however, she assured her that there was no longer any need of her being worked to death in order to divert her thought from the person of our knight errant, for his cruelty to her had been such that the very thought of that had now blotted him out of her memory forever. And, pretending to wipe a tear from her eye, she made a curtsy to the Duchess and left the chamber.

Now the Duke and Duchess came in, and after a lively chat where Sancho's funny remarks once again entertained his esteemed friends, Don Quixote asked to head back to his village. They granted his request and then inquired if he had forgiven Altisidora for trying to win his love. He replied that the lady's lack of virtue stemmed from her boredom, and he suggested that the Duchess ensure Altisidora is kept busy with lace-making or some other work. Sancho agreed with his master's advice, wisely noting that he had never seen a lacemaker die from love; he illustrated this point with his own experience, claiming that when he was digging, he never thought about his old woman. The support from two loyal friends like Don Quixote and Sancho made the Duchess promise that she would keep the beautiful Altisidora occupied, so she wouldn't stray from the path of virtue. As soon as the fair maiden heard her mistress say this, [Pg 331] she assured her there was no need to overwork her to keep her thoughts off their knight-errant, because his cruelty had been so great that she had now completely erased him from her memory. Then, pretending to wipe away a tear, she curtsied to the Duchess and left the room.

It was now time for dinner, and soon afterward Don Quixote, having dined with the Duke and the Duchess, made his departure from the castle with Sancho, and started again for his home.

It was now time for dinner, and soon after, Don Quixote, having eaten with the Duke and the Duchess, left the castle with Sancho and set off again for home.


CHAPTER LXXI

Of What Passed Between Don Quixote and His Squire Sancho on the Way to Their Village

DON QUIXOTE and Sancho traveled along, both in a state of depression. Don Quixote was sad because he had been forced to give up the glories of knight-errantry and chivalry; Sancho because Altisidora had not kept her word when she promised to give him the smocks. To Sancho it seemed a terrible injustice that physicians should be paid even if their patients died, and here he had brought back a human being from the dead, and was being rewarded in this ungrateful manner!

DON QUIXOTE and Sancho traveled along, both feeling pretty down. Don Quixote was upset because he had to give up the greatness of being a knight and the values of chivalry; Sancho was disappointed because Altisidora hadn’t followed through on her promise to give him the smocks. Sancho thought it was a huge injustice that doctors got paid even if their patients died, and here he had brought someone back from the dead, only to be rewarded in such an ungrateful way!

But Don Quixote's sadness was suddenly brightened by a hope that he might at last be able to prevail upon Sancho to bring about the disenchantment of Dulcinea. Knowing Sancho's covetousness, he offered him money as a bribe. [Pg 332] Now Sancho became interested, and consented, for the love of his wife and children, to whip himself at a price of a quarter-real a lash, generously throwing the five lashes he had already given himself into the bargain.

But Don Quixote's sadness was suddenly brightened by the hope that he might finally convince Sancho to help break the spell on Dulcinea. Understanding Sancho's greed, he offered him money as a bribe. [Pg 332] Now Sancho became interested and agreed, for the sake of his wife and kids, to whip himself for a quarter-real per lash, even including the five lashes he had already given himself as part of the deal.

"O blessed Sancho! O dear Sancho!" exclaimed Don Quixote. "How we shall be bound to serve thee, Dulcinea and I, all the days of our lives that Heaven may grant us! But look here, Sancho: when wilt thou begin the scourging? For if thou wilt make short work of it, I will give thee a hundred reals over and above."

"O blessed Sancho! O dear Sancho!" exclaimed Don Quixote. "How grateful we shall be to serve you, Dulcinea and I, for all the days that Heaven may grant us! But tell me, Sancho: when will you start the whipping? Because if you make it quick, I’ll give you a hundred reals on top of that."

Sancho swore that he would begin the scourging that very night, and begged his master that he arrange it so that they spend the night in the open.

Sancho promised that he would start the punishment that night and asked his master to make arrangements for them to spend the night outside.

Night came at last, and when they had supped, Sancho proceeded to make a sturdy whip out of Dapple's halter. When he had finished this task he made off for a distant part of the woods. He left his master with such a determined look in his eyes that Don Quixote thought it best to warn him not to go too fast but to take a breathing-space between lashes so that he would not cut his body to pieces. He was afraid also, he said, that Sancho might become so enthusiastic over what he was doing, or so anxious to come to the end of the lashes that he might overtax his strength, collapse and die; and he begged Sancho particularly not to do that, for then he would have gone through all his suffering in vain. When Sancho had stripped himself to the waist, Don Quixote placed himself where he could hear the sound of the lashes, and counted them on his rosary that Sancho would make neither too much nor too little effort to disenchant Dulcinea. [Pg 333]

Night finally arrived, and after they had their dinner, Sancho got to work making a strong whip out of Dapple's halter. Once he finished, he headed off to a secluded part of the woods. He left his master with such a determined look that Don Quixote felt the need to warn him not to rush and to take breaks between lashes so he wouldn’t hurt himself too badly. He was also worried that Sancho might get so caught up in what he was doing or so eager to finish that he could push himself too hard, faint, and die; he asked Sancho not to do that, as all his suffering would be for nothing. After Sancho took off his shirt, Don Quixote positioned himself where he could hear the cracks of the whip, counting them on his rosary to ensure that Sancho wouldn’t go overboard or hold back in his effort to free Dulcinea. [Pg 333]

After half a dozen lashes, Sancho felt that he had inflicted a sufficient measure of pain upon himself already, and demanded a higher price for his service. Don Quixote told Sancho that he would pay him twice the amount promised; and the squire began again. But this time he did not whip himself but let the lashes fall on a tree; and with each lash he gave out the most heartrending cries, and uttered such groans that his master began to feel the pain of his squire's torture in his own heart. When he had counted a thousand lashes or thereabout, he was quite worried about Sancho and begged him to stop for the present, but Sancho told his master he might as well brave the remainder of the ordeal now.

After about six lashes, Sancho figured he had already caused himself enough pain and asked for a higher pay for his work. Don Quixote said he would double the original amount he promised, and the squire started again. But this time, he didn’t hit himself; instead, he let the lashes fall on a tree; and with each lash, he let out the most heart-wrenching cries and groans that made his master feel his squire's suffering in his own heart. When he counted around a thousand lashes, he became quite concerned for Sancho and pleaded with him to stop for now, but Sancho told his master that he might as well get through the rest of the ordeal.

Seeing his squire in such a sacrificing mood, Don Quixote retired at his request, and Sancho continued with the lashing, which he administered to a perfectly innocent tree with such brutality and ferocity that the bark flew in all directions. All the while he gave vent to his pain by fierce shrieks, and then there came one long agonizing cry, which nearly rent Don Quixote's heart, and Sancho exclaimed piteously: "Here dies Sancho, and all with him!" Don Quixote hastened to his squire's side, and insisted for the sake of his unsupported wife and children that he go no further, but to wait until some other time with the rest. Sancho retorted with a request that his master cover his shoulders with his cloak, as the exertion had been too great and had made him perspire freely, and he did not wish to run the risk of catching cold. Don Quixote did as he was asked and begged Sancho to lie down; then he covered him with the cloak. [Pg 334]

Seeing his squire in such a sacrificing mood, Don Quixote stepped back at his request, and Sancho continued whipping a perfectly innocent tree with such brutality and ferocity that the bark flew everywhere. All the while, he expressed his pain with fierce shrieks, culminating in one long, agonizing cry that nearly broke Don Quixote's heart. Sancho lamented, "Here dies Sancho, and all with him!" Don Quixote rushed to his squire's side and insisted, for the sake of his unsupported wife and children, that he stop and wait until another time with the rest. Sancho replied with a request for his master to cover his shoulders with his cloak, as the exertion had been too much and he was sweating profusely, not wanting to risk catching a cold. Don Quixote complied and urged Sancho to lie down; then he covered him with the cloak. [Pg 334]

At dawn they resumed their journey, and when they had traveled three leagues, they came to an inn. Don Quixote did not take it for a castle this time; as a matter of fact, ever since he had found himself vanquished, he had begun to talk of and see things in a more rational way. They entered, and when Sancho saw the painted pictures on the wall he remarked to his master that not long from now there would be paintings picturing their deeds in every tavern and inn in the country. Don Quixote then turned to his squire and asked him whether he would like to finish the whipping business that day, and Sancho said it made no difference to him when he did it; he only made a suggestion that he thought he would prefer to do it among the trees as they seemed to help him bear the pain miraculously. But on second consideration Don Quixote deemed it advisable to put it off till a later time, when they were closer to their village, in case Sancho should have a breakdown as a result of his flogging himself. Their conversation came to an end when Sancho began to shoot proverbs at his master out of the corner of his mouth at such a speed that Don Quixote was overwhelmed and tore his hair in desperation.

At dawn, they started their journey again, and after traveling three leagues, they arrived at an inn. This time, Don Quixote didn’t confuse it with a castle; ever since his defeat, he had started to view things more rationally. They went inside, and when Sancho noticed the paintings on the walls, he told his master that soon there would be artworks depicting their adventures in every tavern and inn across the country. Don Quixote then asked his squire if he wanted to get the whipping over with that day, and Sancho replied that it didn’t matter to him when they did it; he just suggested that he preferred to do it among the trees since they seemed to help him endure the pain miraculously. However, after thinking it over, Don Quixote decided it was better to postpone it until they were closer to their village, in case Sancho broke down after punishing himself. Their conversation ended when Sancho began rapidly firing proverbs at his master from the corner of his mouth, leaving Don Quixote overwhelmed and pulling out his hair in desperation.


CHAPTERS LXXII-LXXIII

Of the Omens Don Quixote Had as He Entered His Own Village; and Other Incidents That Embellish and Give a Color to This Great History

WHEN they had left the inn that day Don Quixote and his squire traveled all through the night, and the following morning they arrived at their own village, [Pg 335] from which they had been absent so long. Among the first to meet them were the curate and Samson Carrasco, who had discovered at a distance the red robe the Duchess had given to Sancho as a memento of their friendship. Sancho had thrown it over his donkey and the discarded armor, and it shone in the morning sun as brightly as a fiery sunset. Dapple was also adorned with the miter, which proudly crowned the beast's head.

WHEN they left the inn that day, Don Quixote and his squire traveled all through the night, and the next morning they arrived back at their village, [Pg 335], from which they had been away for so long. Among the first to greet them were the curate and Samson Carrasco, who had spotted from afar the red robe the Duchess had given to Sancho as a token of their friendship. Sancho had draped it over his donkey and the discarded armor, and it gleamed in the morning sun like a blazing sunset. Dapple was also decorated with the miter, which proudly sat atop the donkey's head.

"WITH EACH LASH HE GAVE OUT THE MOST HEARTRENDING CRIES."—Page 333
"WITH EACH STRIKE HE LET OUT THE MOST HEARTBREAKING CRIES."—__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__

When Don Quixote saw his old friends, he dismounted and embraced them; and all the little boys in town came running to see the sight of Dapple and the returning revivers of knight-errantry. They called out to their playmates: "Come here, fellows, and see how Sancho Panza's donkey is rigged out; and take a look at Don Quixote's horse: he is leaner than ever!"

When Don Quixote saw his old friends, he got off his horse and hugged them; all the little boys in town rushed over to see Dapple and the return of knights in shining armor. They shouted to their friends: "Come here, guys, and check out how Sancho Panza's donkey is dressed up; and take a look at Don Quixote's horse: he's thinner than ever!"

As they walked through the village, it was a whole parade that followed them; and at Don Quixote's house they were received by the niece and the housekeeper, who had already heard of the return.

As they walked through the village, a whole parade followed them; and at Don Quixote's house, they were welcomed by his niece and the housekeeper, who had already heard about their return.

Teresa Panza, too, had been given the news, but she was sorely disappointed when she ran out with her two dirty children to welcome the returning Governor. She scolded him soundly for coming home dressed like a vagabond. But Sancho told her to put a clamp on her tongue, for he did bring her money, at any rate, he said. Then his daughter fell on his neck and kissed him, and in the next instant the whole family had dragged him inside their little cottage.

Teresa Panza had also heard the news, but she was really let down when she rushed out with her two dirty kids to greet the returning Governor. She gave him a hard time for coming home looking like a bum. But Sancho told her to keep her mouth shut, since he did bring her some money, at least, he said. Then his daughter jumped on him and kissed him, and in the next moment, the whole family had pulled him inside their little home.

Don Quixote shut himself in with the curate and the bachelor, as soon as he had entered his house, and related [Pg 336] to them the sad story of his defeat, and the promise he had made to the Knight of the White Moon; and then he broached his new idea, that of turning shepherd. He told his friends he had chosen new names for them, for he hoped that they would share his new life with him; and they at once praised his scheme and promised that as shepherds they would accompany him in his pursuit of happiness. Samson added that he would be an especially valuable member of the pastoral colony, for he knew how to write poetry, and would devote his time to singing the praises of their simple life. Of course, there must be shepherdesses, too, Don Quixote ruled, and they could be represented by such modest and virtuous women as Dulcinea and Teresa Panza.

Don Quixote locked himself in with the curate and the bachelor as soon as he got home and shared with them the sad tale of his defeat and the promise he made to the Knight of the White Moon. Then he introduced his new idea of becoming a shepherd. He told his friends he had picked new names for them since he hoped they would join him in his new life, and they immediately praised his plan and promised to follow him as shepherds in his quest for happiness. Samson added that he would be especially useful to their pastoral group because he could write poetry and would spend his time singing the praises of their simple life. Of course, Don Quixote declared, they needed shepherdesses, too, and they could be represented by such modest and virtuous women as Dulcinea and Teresa Panza.

When they had conversed in this pleasant manner for some time, the curate and the bachelor left, begging Don Quixote to take good care of himself and to eat plentifully. As soon as they had departed, the niece and the housekeeper, who had overheard the three men, entered the late knight's room and begged him not to turn shepherd saying that his health was not such as to allow him to dwell in the open in the damp night air; sooner or later he would succumb, they said, and take ill and die. They were both agreed that the foolishness of knight-errantry was much better than this craze. They entreated him to remain at home, to go to confession often, and to indulge in doing good deeds and being kind to the poor, instead. But Don Quixote would have none of their advice. He told them he knew where his duty lay. Then he implored them to put him to bed, saying that they ought to know he had always [Pg 337] their interest at heart, no matter what happened.

When they had chatted in this enjoyable way for a while, the curate and the bachelor took their leave, asking Don Quixote to take care of himself and to eat well. As soon as they left, the niece and the housekeeper, who had overheard the three men, entered the former knight's room and urged him not to become a shepherd, saying that his health was not good enough to spend nights outdoors in the damp air; they warned that eventually he would get sick and die. They both agreed that the nonsense of knight-errantry was much better than this obsession. They begged him to stay home, to confess regularly, and to focus on doing good deeds and being kind to the less fortunate instead. But Don Quixote rejected their advice. He told them he knew what his duty was. Then he asked them to help him to bed, stating that they should know he always had their best interests at heart, no matter what happened.

The two women began to weep, and then they helped Don Quixote to bed, and there they did all they could to make him comfortable, and gave him something to eat.

The two women started to cry, and then they helped Don Quixote get into bed, doing everything they could to make him comfortable and giving him something to eat.


CHAPTER LXXIV

Of How Don Quixote Fell Sick, and of the Will He Made; and How He Died

THE following day Don Quixote did not rise from his bed, and he was taken with a fever which kept him in bed for six days. All this time his faithful Sancho remained at his bedside; and his friends, the curate, the barber and the bachelor, visited him frequently. They all did what they could, for they seemed to sense that the sickness was brought on by the sad thought of his having been forced to give up his great hope of reviving knight-errantry.

THE following day, Don Quixote didn't get out of bed, and he came down with a fever that kept him there for six days. During this time, his loyal Sancho stayed by his side, and his friends—the curate, the barber, and the bachelor—visited him often. They all did what they could, as they seemed to understand that his illness was caused by the sorrow of having to give up his big dream of bringing knight-errantry back to life.

When the doctor was sent for, he said frankly that it was time for Don Quixote to turn his thoughts to his soul; and when the niece and the devoted housekeeper heard this, they began to weep bitterly. The physician was of the same opinion as the curate and Don Quixote's other friends: that melancholy and unhappiness were the cause of the present state of his health.

When the doctor was called, he honestly said it was time for Don Quixote to focus on his soul. When the niece and the loyal housekeeper heard this, they started to cry hard. The doctor agreed with the curate and Don Quixote's other friends: they believed that sadness and unhappiness were behind his current health issues.

Soon Don Quixote asked to be left alone, and then he fell into a long sleep, which lasted over six hours. It provoked the anxiety of the two women, who were afraid [Pg 338] he would never wake up again. At last he awoke, and as he opened his eyes he exclaimed in a voice of exaltation and joy: "Blessed be the Lord Almighty, who has shown me such goodness! In truth his mercies are boundless, and the sins of men can neither limit them nor keep them back!"

Soon, Don Quixote asked to be left alone, and then he fell into a deep sleep that lasted over six hours. This worried the two women, who feared he might never wake up. Finally, he awoke, and as he opened his eyes, he exclaimed with joy: "Blessed be the Lord Almighty, who has shown me such kindness! Truly, His mercies are endless, and the sins of man can neither limit them nor hold them back!"

The niece was struck by the unusual saneness of these words. She asked Don Quixote gently what he meant, and what sins of men he was speaking of. He replied in a voice full of calmness and serenity that God had just freed his reason, for he realized now how ignorance in believing in the absurdities of the books of chivalry had distorted his mind and vision so sadly. He regretted, he said, that he saw the light so late in life that there was no time for him to show his repentance by reading other books, which might have helped his soul. Then he begged his niece to send for the curate, the bachelor Carrasco, and the barber, as he wished to confess his sins and make his will before he departed from this earth.

The niece was taken aback by the unusual clarity of his words. She gently asked Don Quixote what he meant and which sins of humanity he was referring to. He replied in a voice filled with calm and peace that God had just restored his sanity, as he now understood how his ignorance in believing the absurdities of chivalric novels had sadly warped his mind and perspective. He lamented that he had realized the truth so late in life that there was no time for him to show his remorse by reading different books that could have benefited his soul. Then, he asked his niece to call the curate, Bachelor Carrasco, and the barber, as he wanted to confess his sins and make his will before leaving this world.

The moment the three friends stepped over the threshold to his chamber, he called out happily: "Good news for you, good sirs, that I am no longer Don Quixote of La Mancha, but Alonso Quixano, whose way of life won for him the name of the Good." And he went on to say how he now loathed all books of chivalry which had brought him to the state he was in, and how happy he was in the thought that God had made him see his folly. The three men could only think that this was some new craze of their friend's and tried to persuade him not to talk thus, now [Pg 339] that they had just got news of his peerless Dulcinea and were all of them about to become shepherds in order to keep him company; and they begged him to be rational and talk no more nonsense. But soon they realized that Don Quixote was not jesting, for he begged them to send for a notary, and while the bachelor went to fetch him, the barber went to soothe the women; and the curate alone remained with Don Quixote to confess him.

The moment the three friends walked into his room, he exclaimed happily, "Great news, gentlemen! I’m no longer Don Quixote of La Mancha, but Alonso Quixano, who earned the name 'the Good' because of his way of life." He continued to explain how he now hated all those chivalric books that had led him to his current situation and how relieved he felt that God had opened his eyes to his foolishness. The three men could only assume this was just another one of their friend's eccentricities and tried to convince him not to speak like that, especially since they had just heard news of his extraordinary Dulcinea and were all planning to become shepherds to keep him company; they urged him to be reasonable and stop with the nonsense. But soon they realized that Don Quixote was serious, as he asked them to get a notary, and while the bachelor went to find one, the barber went to reassure the women; only the curate stayed with Don Quixote to hear his confession.

When the good curate came out after the confession, the women gathered about him and when he told them that Don Quixote was indeed dying, they broke into sobs, for they loved him genuinely and dearly. The notary then came, and Don Quixote made his will. The first person he thought of was his faithful and beloved companion, Sancho Panza, whose simplicity and affection he rewarded by leaving him all the money of his own that was now in Sancho's possession. Had he had a kingdom to give him, he said, it would scarcely have been sufficient reward for all that Sancho had done for him. Then turning to Sancho, who stood at his bedside with tears in his eyes, he said to him: "Forgive me, my friend, that I led thee to seem as mad as myself, making thee fall into the same error I myself fell into, that there were and still are knights errant in the world."

When the good priest came out after hearing confessions, the women gathered around him, and when he told them that Don Quixote was indeed dying, they burst into tears because they genuinely cared for him. Then the notary arrived, and Don Quixote made his will. The first person he thought of was his faithful and beloved companion, Sancho Panza, whose simplicity and loyalty he rewarded by leaving him all the money he currently had in Sancho's possession. He said that even if he had a kingdom to give him, it wouldn’t be enough to repay Sancho for everything he had done for him. Then, turning to Sancho, who stood by his bedside with tears in his eyes, he said, "Forgive me, my friend, for making you seem as mad as I am by leading you into the same mistake I made, believing that there are and still are knights-errant in the world."

"Ah," said Sancho, in a voice that was choked with tears, "do not die, master, but take my advice and live many years; for the foolishest thing a man can do in this life is to let himself die without rhyme or reason, without anybody killing him, or any hands but melancholy's making [Pg 340] an end of him. Come, do not be lazy, but get up from your bed and let us take to the fields in a shepherd's trim as we agreed! Perhaps behind some bush we shall find the Lady Dulcinea disenchanted, as fine as fine can be. If it be that you are dying of vexation at having been vanquished, lay the blame on me, and say you were thrown because I girthed Rocinante badly."

"Ah," said Sancho, his voice choked with tears, "please don’t die, master. Take my advice and live for many more years; the dumbest thing a person can do in this life is to let themselves die for no good reason, without anyone harming them, and only melancholy ending their life. [Pg 340] Come on, don’t be lazy, get up from your bed, and let’s head to the fields dressed like shepherds, just like we agreed! Maybe we’ll find the Lady Dulcinea behind some bush, looking as beautiful as ever. If you’re feeling miserable about being defeated, blame it on me, and say you lost because I saddled Rocinante wrong."

But although Samson Carrasco tried to persuade the dying knight that Sancho had reasoned rightly, they at last came to the conclusion that Don Quixote really was in his right senses, and that God had worked a miracle.

But even though Samson Carrasco tried to convince the dying knight that Sancho had made a good point, they ultimately agreed that Don Quixote was truly in his right mind and that God had performed a miracle.

They now let the notary proceed and one of the stipulations in the will was that if his niece, Antonia Quixana, ever married a man who had read books of chivalry, she should by so doing forfeit all that he had left to her, and instead it would go to charity. Another clause contained a request to the executors to offer his humble apologies to the author of the Second Part of "The Achievements of Don Quixote of La Mancha" for his having committed so many absurdities that had been a provocation to the author to write this book.

They now allowed the notary to continue, and one of the conditions in the will stated that if his niece, Antonia Quixana, ever married someone who had read books about chivalry, she would lose everything he left to her, and it would instead go to charity. Another clause included a request for the executors to extend his sincere apologies to the author of the Second Part of "The Achievements of Don Quixote of La Mancha" for all the ridiculous things he had done that prompted the author to write this book.

When he had dictated the last words of his will, a sudden faintness came over Don Quixote, and for three days after that he was in a state between life and death. At last the end came, and he passed away so calmly that the notary felt compelled to confess that he never had read of any knight errant in the whole wide world who had breathed his last breath so peacefully.

When he finished dictating the last words of his will, Don Quixote suddenly felt faint, and for three days after that, he was in a state between life and death. Finally, the end came, and he passed away so peacefully that the notary felt he had to admit he had never read about any knight errant in the whole world who had died so calmly.

The bachelor, Samson Carrasco, wrote an epitaph for his tomb; and there is written on a tombstone in a little [Pg 341] village of La Mancha the praise that those who knew and loved the valiant and doughty, yet gentle Don Quixote of La Mancha felt in their hearts for him, whose last wish was that he might die as Alonso Quixano the Good.

The bachelor, Samson Carrasco, wrote an epitaph for his tomb; and on a tombstone in a small village of La Mancha, there's a tribute that reflects the admiration those who knew and cared for the brave yet gentle Don Quixote of La Mancha felt in their hearts for him, whose last wish was to die as Alonso Quixano the Good.

THE END

Transcribers' Note:

Transcribers' Note:

The Title Page of this book credits Arvid Paulson and Clayton Edwards as being the authors of this work. The original Don Quixote of The Mancha was written, in Spanish, by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra around 1605. It has been translated into many languages and editions. This book is based on Cervantes' story. The catalogue of the Library of Congress lists Cervantes as the author of this book, and Paulson and Edwards are included as "related names."

The title page of this book credits Arvid Paulson and Clayton Edwards as the authors. The original Don Quixote of La Mancha was written in Spanish by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra around 1605. It has been translated into many languages and editions. This book is based on Cervantes' story. The Library of Congress catalog lists Cervantes as the author of this book, while Paulson and Edwards are included as "related names."

Variations in spelling, such as grey/gray or pretence/pretense have been left as they appear in the original book.

Variations in spelling, like grey/gray or pretence/pretense, have been kept as they appear in the original book.

Some Items That Appear To Be Typographic Errors Have Been Changed As Follows.

Page 28
Corrected Neverthelesss to remove extra "s".
Page 63
Corrected imcomparable to incomparable.
Page 130
Corrected hilarously to hilariously.
Page 231
Corrected sacrilegeous to sacrilegious in the passage that read "When the confessor heard the sacrilegeous conversation".
Page 237
Corrected Doño to Doña in the passage that read "and told her of the incident with Doño Rodriguez".
Page 246
Corrected expresseed to expressed.
Page 257
Deleted superfluous "to" in the passage that read "he confided to to his master the resemblance in voice and appearance".
Page 277
"and lifted him up from his vertical position." has been left as it appears in the book, although the intent would appear to be "horizontal" rather than "vertical".
Page 306
In the passage that reads "After having acted in the most mysterious manner, and having carefully ascertained that all the doors to the room were shut and no one listening, Don Quixote swore the knight to secrecy." Don Quixote has been changed to Antonio as this appears to be a typographic error as Don Quixote is the knight in question.
Page 309
Changed lead to led in the passage that reads "through a tube that lead from the inside of the head".
Page 317
Corrected Stubborness to Stubbornness in the passage that read "but Sancho was unflinching in his stubborness and insisted".
Page 328
Corrected to affliction in the passage that reads "in time be cured of his strange affiction".


Changes Have Been Made to Table of Contents As Follows.

Volume I

Which Treats of What Befell All Don Quixote's Party at the Inn

Which Treats of What Happened to All of Don Quixote's Group at the Inn

The table of contents read "at the End". It has been amended to "at the Inn" to match the chapter heading.

The table of contents read "at the End." It has been changed to "at the Inn" to match the chapter heading.

Volume II

Of the Strange Adventure Which Befell the Valiant Don Quixote with the Bold Knight of the Grove

Of the Strange Adventure That Happened to the Valiant Don Quixote with the Brave Knight of the Grove

The table of contents read "of the Mirrors" It has been amended to "of the Grove" to match this and the next chapter heading and sense of the story line.

The table of contents read "of the Mirrors." It has been changed to "of the Grove" to align with this and the next chapter heading and the overall storyline.

How Sancho Panza Was Conducted to His Government; and of the Strange Adventure That Befell Don Quixote in the Castle

How Sancho Panza Was Taken to His Government; and the Weird Adventure That Happened to Don Quixote in the Castle

"Ad" in adventure was missing from the table of contents which read "Strange Venture". It has been amended to match the chapter heading.

"Ad" in adventure was missing from the table of contents that read "Strange Venture." It has been updated to match the chapter heading.

Wherein Is Set Forth How Governor Sancho Panza's Wife Received a Message and a Gift from the Duchess; and also What Befell the Page Who Carried the Letter to Teresa Panza

Wherein Is Set Forth How Governor Sancho Panza's Wife Received a Message and a Gift from the Duchess; and also What Happened to the Page Who Carried the Letter to Teresa Panza

The table of contents went on to add "Sancho Panza's Wife" to the end of the above listing. This has been removed to agree with the chapter heading.

The table of contents added "Sancho Panza's Wife" to the end of the previous listing. This has been removed to match the chapter heading.

Which Treats of How Don Quixote Again Felt the Calling of Knight-errantry and How He Took Leave of the Duke, and of What Followed with the Witty and Impudent Altisidora, One of the Duchess' Damsels

Which Discusses How Don Quixote Feels the Call of Knight-errantry Again and How He Says Goodbye to the Duke, and What Happened with the Clever and Bold Altisidora, One of the Duchess's Maidens

Deleted "s" from "callings" in contents listing.

Deleted "s" from "calling" in contents listing.

Capitalisation of the Table of Contents has been modified to agree with each applicable chapter heading.

Capitalization of the Table of Contents has been updated to match each relevant chapter heading.

 

 



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