This is a modern-English version of Where Angels Fear to Tread, originally written by Forster, E. M. (Edward Morgan).
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.
Scroll to the bottom of this page and you will find a free ePUB download link for this book.
WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD
By E. M. Forster
Chapter 1
They were all at Charing Cross to see Lilia off—Philip, Harriet, Irma, Mrs. Herriton herself. Even Mrs. Theobald, squired by Mr. Kingcroft, had braved the journey from Yorkshire to bid her only daughter good-bye. Miss Abbott was likewise attended by numerous relatives, and the sight of so many people talking at once and saying such different things caused Lilia to break into ungovernable peals of laughter.
They were all at Charing Cross to see Lilia off—Philip, Harriet, Irma, Mrs. Herriton herself. Even Mrs. Theobald, accompanied by Mr. Kingcroft, had made the trip from Yorkshire to say good-bye to her only daughter. Miss Abbott was also surrounded by many relatives, and the sight of so many people chatting all at once and saying such different things made Lilia burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.
“Quite an ovation,” she cried, sprawling out of her first-class carriage. “They’ll take us for royalty. Oh, Mr. Kingcroft, get us foot-warmers.”
“Quite the applause,” she exclaimed, leaning out of her first-class carriage. “They’ll think we’re royalty. Oh, Mr. Kingcroft, get us foot warmers.”
The good-natured young man hurried away, and Philip, taking his place, flooded her with a final stream of advice and injunctions—where to stop, how to learn Italian, when to use mosquito-nets, what pictures to look at. “Remember,” he concluded, “that it is only by going off the track that you get to know the country. See the little towns—Gubbio, Pienza, Cortona, San Gemignano, Monteriano. And don’t, let me beg you, go with that awful tourist idea that Italy’s only a museum of antiquities and art. Love and understand the Italians, for the people are more marvellous than the land.”
The good-natured young man rushed off, and Philip took his place, bombarding her with a final wave of advice and instructions—where to stop, how to learn Italian, when to use mosquito nets, and which sights to see. “Remember,” he wrapped up, “the only way to truly know the country is by exploring off the beaten path. Check out the small towns—Gubbio, Pienza, Cortona, San Gimignano, Monteriano. And please, I urge you, don’t fall into the terrible tourist trap of thinking Italy is just a museum of old artifacts and art. Appreciate and understand the Italians because the people are even more incredible than the landscape.”
“How I wish you were coming, Philip,” she said, flattered at the unwonted notice her brother-in-law was giving her.
“How I wish you were coming, Philip,” she said, pleased by the unexpected attention her brother-in-law was giving her.
“I wish I were.” He could have managed it without great difficulty, for his career at the Bar was not so intense as to prevent occasional holidays. But his family disliked his continual visits to the Continent, and he himself often found pleasure in the idea that he was too busy to leave town.
“I wish I were.” He could have done it quite easily, as his career at the Bar wasn’t busy enough to stop him from taking occasional vacations. However, his family didn’t like his constant trips to the Continent, and he often took comfort in thinking that he was too busy to leave the city.
“Good-bye, dear every one. What a whirl!” She caught sight of her little daughter Irma, and felt that a touch of maternal solemnity was required. “Good-bye, darling. Mind you’re always good, and do what Granny tells you.”
“Goodbye, everyone. What a whirlwind!” She spotted her little daughter Irma and sensed that a moment of maternal seriousness was needed. “Goodbye, sweetheart. Make sure you’re always good and listen to what Granny says.”
She referred not to her own mother, but to her mother-in-law, Mrs. Herriton, who hated the title of Granny.
She was talking about her mother-in-law, Mrs. Herriton, not her own mother, and Mrs. Herriton disliked being called Granny.
Irma lifted a serious face to be kissed, and said cautiously, “I’ll do my best.”
Irma raised a serious face to be kissed and said cautiously, “I’ll do my best.”
“She is sure to be good,” said Mrs. Herriton, who was standing pensively a little out of the hubbub. But Lilia was already calling to Miss Abbott, a tall, grave, rather nice-looking young lady who was conducting her adieus in a more decorous manner on the platform.
“She’s definitely going to be great,” said Mrs. Herriton, who was standing thoughtfully a bit away from the chaos. But Lilia was already calling to Miss Abbott, a tall, serious, and somewhat attractive young woman who was saying her goodbyes in a more proper way on the platform.
“Caroline, my Caroline! Jump in, or your chaperon will go off without you.”
“Caroline, my Caroline! Get in, or your chaperone will leave without you.”
And Philip, whom the idea of Italy always intoxicated, had started again, telling her of the supreme moments of her coming journey—the Campanile of Airolo, which would burst on her when she emerged from the St. Gothard tunnel, presaging the future; the view of the Ticino and Lago Maggiore as the train climbed the slopes of Monte Cenere; the view of Lugano, the view of Como—Italy gathering thick around her now—the arrival at her first resting-place, when, after long driving through dark and dirty streets, she should at last behold, amid the roar of trams and the glare of arc lamps, the buttresses of the cathedral of Milan.
And Philip, who was always thrilled by the idea of Italy, began again, telling her about the incredible moments of her upcoming journey—the Campanile of Airolo, which would greet her as she came out of the St. Gothard tunnel, hinting at what was to come; the view of the Ticino and Lago Maggiore as the train ascended the slopes of Monte Cenere; the sights of Lugano, the view of Como—Italy closing in around her now—the arrival at her first stop, when, after a long ride through dark and grimy streets, she would finally see, amidst the noise of trams and the brightness of street lamps, the buttresses of the cathedral of Milan.
“Handkerchiefs and collars,” screamed Harriet, “in my inlaid box! I’ve lent you my inlaid box.”
“Handkerchiefs and collars,” yelled Harriet, “in my decorated box! I’ve lent you my decorated box.”
“Good old Harry!” She kissed every one again, and there was a moment’s silence. They all smiled steadily, excepting Philip, who was choking in the fog, and old Mrs. Theobald, who had begun to cry. Miss Abbott got into the carriage. The guard himself shut the door, and told Lilia that she would be all right. Then the train moved, and they all moved with it a couple of steps, and waved their handkerchiefs, and uttered cheerful little cries. At that moment Mr. Kingcroft reappeared, carrying a footwarmer by both ends, as if it was a tea-tray. He was sorry that he was too late, and called out in a quivering voice, “Good-bye, Mrs. Charles. May you enjoy yourself, and may God bless you.”
“Good old Harry!” She kissed each of them again, and there was a brief moment of silence. They all smiled steadily, except for Philip, who was choking in the fog, and old Mrs. Theobald, who had started to cry. Miss Abbott got into the carriage. The guard himself closed the door and told Lilia that she would be fine. Then the train started moving, and they all took a couple of steps along with it, waving their handkerchiefs and shouting cheerful little goodbyes. At that moment, Mr. Kingcroft reappeared, carrying a footwarmer by both ends, as if it were a tray. He was sorry he was too late and called out in a trembling voice, “Goodbye, Mrs. Charles. I hope you have a great time, and may God bless you.”
Lilia smiled and nodded, and then the absurd position of the foot-warmer overcame her, and she began to laugh again.
Lilia smiled and nodded, but then the ridiculous position of the foot-warmer hit her, and she started laughing again.
“Oh, I am so sorry,” she cried back, “but you do look so funny. Oh, you all look so funny waving! Oh, pray!” And laughing helplessly, she was carried out into the fog.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she shouted back, “but you all look so funny. Oh, you all look hilarious waving! Oh, please!” And laughing uncontrollably, she was taken out into the fog.
“High spirits to begin so long a journey,” said Mrs. Theobald, dabbing her eyes.
“Excited to start such a long journey,” said Mrs. Theobald, wiping her eyes.
Mr. Kingcroft solemnly moved his head in token of agreement. “I wish,” said he, “that Mrs. Charles had gotten the footwarmer. These London porters won’t take heed to a country chap.”
Mr. Kingcroft nodded seriously in agreement. “I wish,” he said, “that Mrs. Charles had gotten the footwarmer. These London porters won’t pay attention to a country guy.”
“But you did your best,” said Mrs. Herriton. “And I think it simply noble of you to have brought Mrs. Theobald all the way here on such a day as this.” Then, rather hastily, she shook hands, and left him to take Mrs. Theobald all the way back.
“But you did your best,” Mrs. Herriton said. “And I think it’s truly admirable that you brought Mrs. Theobald all the way here on a day like this.” Then, a bit quickly, she shook his hand and left him to take Mrs. Theobald all the way back.
Sawston, her own home, was within easy reach of London, and they were not late for tea. Tea was in the dining-room, with an egg for Irma, to keep up the child’s spirits. The house seemed strangely quiet after a fortnight’s bustle, and their conversation was spasmodic and subdued. They wondered whether the travellers had got to Folkestone, whether it would be at all rough, and if so what would happen to poor Miss Abbott.
Sawston, her home, was close to London, and they arrived just in time for tea. Tea was served in the dining room, along with an egg for Irma to lift the child's spirits. The house felt oddly quiet after two weeks of activity, and their conversation was sporadic and low-key. They speculated about whether the travelers had made it to Folkestone, whether the crossing would be rough, and if so, what would happen to poor Miss Abbott.
“And, Granny, when will the old ship get to Italy?” asked Irma.
“And, Granny, when will the old ship get to Italy?” asked Irma.
“‘Grandmother,’ dear; not ‘Granny,’” said Mrs. Herriton, giving her a kiss. “And we say ‘a boat’ or ‘a steamer,’ not ‘a ship.’ Ships have sails. And mother won’t go all the way by sea. You look at the map of Europe, and you’ll see why. Harriet, take her. Go with Aunt Harriet, and she’ll show you the map.”
“‘Grandmother,’ sweetheart; not ‘Granny,’” Mrs. Herriton said, giving her a kiss. “And we say ‘a boat’ or ‘a steamer,’ not ‘a ship.’ Ships have sails. And Mom won’t travel all the way by sea. Look at the map of Europe, and you’ll understand why. Harriet, take her. Go with Aunt Harriet, and she’ll show you the map.”
“Righto!” said the little girl, and dragged the reluctant Harriet into the library. Mrs. Herriton and her son were left alone. There was immediately confidence between them.
“Alright!” said the little girl, and pulled the unwilling Harriet into the library. Mrs. Herriton and her son were left alone. Instantly, there was a sense of trust between them.
“Here beginneth the New Life,” said Philip.
“Here begins the New Life,” said Philip.
“Poor child, how vulgar!” murmured Mrs. Herriton. “It’s surprising that she isn’t worse. But she has got a look of poor Charles about her.”
“Poor kid, how tacky!” murmured Mrs. Herriton. “It’s surprising that she isn’t worse. But she does have a resemblance to poor Charles.”
“And—alas, alas!—a look of old Mrs. Theobald. What appalling apparition was that! I did think the lady was bedridden as well as imbecile. Why ever did she come?”
“And—oh no!—the sight of old Mrs. Theobald. What a shocking vision that was! I really thought the lady was both bedridden and clueless. Why on earth did she show up?”
“Mr. Kingcroft made her. I am certain of it. He wanted to see Lilia again, and this was the only way.”
“Mr. Kingcroft did this. I’m sure of it. He wanted to see Lilia again, and this was the only way.”
“I hope he is satisfied. I did not think my sister-in-law distinguished herself in her farewells.”
“I hope he's satisfied. I didn't think my sister-in-law made a good impression with her goodbyes.”
Mrs. Herriton shuddered. “I mind nothing, so long as she has gone—and gone with Miss Abbott. It is mortifying to think that a widow of thirty-three requires a girl ten years younger to look after her.”
Mrs. Herriton shuddered. “I don’t care about anything, as long as she’s left—and left with Miss Abbott. It’s embarrassing to think that a 33-year-old widow needs a girl ten years younger to take care of her.”
“I pity Miss Abbott. Fortunately one admirer is chained to England. Mr. Kingcroft cannot leave the crops or the climate or something. I don’t think, either, he improved his chances today. He, as well as Lilia, has the knack of being absurd in public.”
“I feel sorry for Miss Abbott. Luckily, one admirer is stuck in England. Mr. Kingcroft can’t leave the crops or the weather or something. I also don’t think he helped his chances today. He, like Lilia, has a talent for being ridiculous in public.”
Mrs. Herriton replied, “When a man is neither well bred, nor well connected, nor handsome, nor clever, nor rich, even Lilia may discard him in time.”
Mrs. Herriton replied, “When a man is neither well-bred, nor well-connected, nor handsome, nor clever, nor rich, even Lilia may drop him in time.”
“No. I believe she would take any one. Right up to the last, when her boxes were packed, she was ‘playing’ the chinless curate. Both the curates are chinless, but hers had the dampest hands. I came on them in the Park. They were speaking of the Pentateuch.”
“No. I think she would accept anyone. Even right up to the end, when her bags were packed, she was ‘playing’ the chinless curate. Both curates are chinless, but hers had the dampest hands. I found them in the Park. They were talking about the Pentateuch.”
“My dear boy! If possible, she has got worse and worse. It was your idea of Italian travel that saved us!”
“My dear boy! If anything, she has gotten worse and worse. It was your idea of traveling to Italy that saved us!”
Philip brightened at the little compliment. “The odd part is that she was quite eager—always asking me for information; and of course I was very glad to give it. I admit she is a Philistine, appallingly ignorant, and her taste in art is false. Still, to have any taste at all is something. And I do believe that Italy really purifies and ennobles all who visit her. She is the school as well as the playground of the world. It is really to Lilia’s credit that she wants to go there.”
Philip lit up at the small compliment. “The strange thing is that she was really enthusiastic—always asking me for information; and of course, I was happy to share it. I’ll admit she is a Philistine, shockingly clueless, and her taste in art is terrible. Still, having any taste at all is something. And I genuinely believe that Italy really cleanses and elevates everyone who visits. It’s both a classroom and a playground for the world. It’s definitely to Lilia’s credit that she wants to go there.”
“She would go anywhere,” said his mother, who had heard enough of the praises of Italy. “I and Caroline Abbott had the greatest difficulty in dissuading her from the Riviera.”
“She would go anywhere,” said his mother, who had heard enough about the praises of Italy. “Caroline Abbott and I had the hardest time convincing her not to go to the Riviera.”
“No, Mother; no. She was really keen on Italy. This travel is quite a crisis for her.” He found the situation full of whimsical romance: there was something half attractive, half repellent in the thought of this vulgar woman journeying to places he loved and revered. Why should she not be transfigured? The same had happened to the Goths.
“No, Mom; no. She was really excited about Italy. This trip is a big deal for her.” He thought the situation was full of quirky romance: there was something both appealing and off-putting about the idea of this tacky woman traveling to the places he cherished and respected. Why couldn’t she be changed? The same had happened to the Goths.
Mrs. Herriton did not believe in romance nor in transfiguration, nor in parallels from history, nor in anything else that may disturb domestic life. She adroitly changed the subject before Philip got excited. Soon Harriet returned, having given her lesson in geography. Irma went to bed early, and was tucked up by her grandmother. Then the two ladies worked and played cards. Philip read a book. And so they all settled down to their quiet, profitable existence, and continued it without interruption through the winter.
Mrs. Herriton didn't believe in romance, change, historical parallels, or anything else that might disrupt family life. She skillfully shifted the topic before Philip could get too worked up. Soon, Harriet came back after finishing her geography lesson. Irma went to bed early and was tucked in by her grandmother. Then the two ladies worked and played cards. Philip read a book. And so they all settled into their calm, productive lives, continuing this way without any interruptions through the winter.
It was now nearly ten years since Charles had fallen in love with Lilia Theobald because she was pretty, and during that time Mrs. Herriton had hardly known a moment’s rest. For six months she schemed to prevent the match, and when it had taken place she turned to another task—the supervision of her daughter-in-law. Lilia must be pushed through life without bringing discredit on the family into which she had married. She was aided by Charles, by her daughter Harriet, and, as soon as he was old enough, by the clever one of the family, Philip. The birth of Irma made things still more difficult. But fortunately old Mrs. Theobald, who had attempted interference, began to break up. It was an effort to her to leave Whitby, and Mrs. Herriton discouraged the effort as far as possible. That curious duel which is fought over every baby was fought and decided early. Irma belonged to her father’s family, not to her mother’s.
It had been nearly ten years since Charles fell in love with Lilia Theobald because she was beautiful, and during that time, Mrs. Herriton hardly had a moment’s peace. For six months, she plotted to prevent their marriage, and when it happened, she focused on another task—the management of her daughter-in-law. Lilia needed to navigate life without bringing shame to the family she married into. She received support from Charles, her daughter Harriet, and, when he was old enough, the smart one in the family, Philip. The birth of Irma made things even more complicated. Luckily, old Mrs. Theobald, who had tried to interfere, started to decline. Leaving Whitby was difficult for her, and Mrs. Herriton did everything she could to discourage that effort. The strange battle that occurs over every baby was fought and settled early. Irma belonged to her father's family, not her mother's.
Charles died, and the struggle recommenced. Lilia tried to assert herself, and said that she should go to take care of Mrs. Theobald. It required all Mrs. Herriton’s kindness to prevent her. A house was finally taken for her at Sawston, and there for three years she lived with Irma, continually subject to the refining influences of her late husband’s family.
Charles died, and the struggle started up again. Lilia tried to be assertive and said she would go take care of Mrs. Theobald. It took all of Mrs. Herriton’s kindness to stop her. A house was eventually rented for her in Sawston, and there she lived with Irma for three years, always influenced by her late husband’s family.
During one of her rare Yorkshire visits trouble began again. Lilia confided to a friend that she liked a Mr. Kingcroft extremely, but that she was not exactly engaged to him. The news came round to Mrs. Herriton, who at once wrote, begging for information, and pointing out that Lilia must either be engaged or not, since no intermediate state existed. It was a good letter, and flurried Lilia extremely. She left Mr. Kingcroft without even the pressure of a rescue-party. She cried a great deal on her return to Sawston, and said she was very sorry. Mrs. Herriton took the opportunity of speaking more seriously about the duties of widowhood and motherhood than she had ever done before. But somehow things never went easily after. Lilia would not settle down in her place among Sawston matrons. She was a bad housekeeper, always in the throes of some domestic crisis, which Mrs. Herriton, who kept her servants for years, had to step across and adjust. She let Irma stop away from school for insufficient reasons, and she allowed her to wear rings. She learnt to bicycle, for the purpose of waking the place up, and coasted down the High Street one Sunday evening, falling off at the turn by the church. If she had not been a relative, it would have been entertaining. But even Philip, who in theory loved outraging English conventions, rose to the occasion, and gave her a talking which she remembered to her dying day. It was just then, too, that they discovered that she still allowed Mr. Kingcroft to write to her “as a gentleman friend,” and to send presents to Irma.
During one of her rare visits to Yorkshire, trouble started up again. Lilia confided to a friend that she really liked a Mr. Kingcroft, but she wasn't exactly engaged to him. The news reached Mrs. Herriton, who immediately wrote a letter asking for details and pointed out that Lilia had to be either engaged or not, as there was no in-between. It was a well-written letter that flustered Lilia a lot. She broke things off with Mr. Kingcroft without even having a rescue plan. She cried a lot on her way back to Sawston and said she was very sorry. Mrs. Herriton took this chance to talk more seriously about the responsibilities of being a widow and a mother than she ever had before. But somehow, things never settled down afterward. Lilia struggled to fit in with the other married women in Sawston. She was a terrible housekeeper, constantly facing some domestic crisis that Mrs. Herriton, who had kept her servants for years, had to step in and help with. She let Irma skip school for weak reasons and allowed her to wear rings. Lilia learned to ride a bike to liven things up and coasted down the High Street one Sunday evening, falling off at the turn near the church. If she hadn't been family, it would have been amusing. But even Philip, who usually enjoyed breaking English conventions, rose to the occasion and gave her a lecture she would remember for the rest of her life. It was around that time they also discovered that she still let Mr. Kingcroft write to her as a "gentleman friend" and send gifts to Irma.
Philip thought of Italy, and the situation was saved. Caroline, charming, sober, Caroline Abbott, who lived two turnings away, was seeking a companion for a year’s travel. Lilia gave up her house, sold half her furniture, left the other half and Irma with Mrs. Herriton, and had now departed, amid universal approval, for a change of scene.
Philip thought of Italy, and the situation was saved. Caroline, charming, sensible, Caroline Abbott, who lived two streets over, was looking for a travel companion for a year. Lilia sold her house, got rid of half her furniture, left the rest and Irma with Mrs. Herriton, and had now left, with everyone's approval, for a change of scenery.
She wrote to them frequently during the winter—more frequently than she wrote to her mother. Her letters were always prosperous. Florence she found perfectly sweet, Naples a dream, but very whiffy. In Rome one had simply to sit still and feel. Philip, however, declared that she was improving. He was particularly gratified when in the early spring she began to visit the smaller towns that he had recommended. “In a place like this,” she wrote, “one really does feel in the heart of things, and off the beaten track. Looking out of a Gothic window every morning, it seems impossible that the middle ages have passed away.” The letter was from Monteriano, and concluded with a not unsuccessful description of the wonderful little town.
She wrote to them often during the winter—more often than she wrote to her mom. Her letters were always upbeat. She found Florence absolutely lovely, Naples a dream but kind of stinky. In Rome, you just had to sit still and soak it all in. However, Philip said that she was getting better. He was especially pleased when, in early spring, she started visiting the smaller towns he had suggested. “In a place like this,” she wrote, “you really feel like you’re in the heart of things and away from the tourist spots. Looking out of a Gothic window every morning, it seems impossible that the Middle Ages are over.” The letter was from Monteriano, and it wrapped up with a pretty good description of the charming little town.
“It is something that she is contented,” said Mrs. Herriton. “But no one could live three months with Caroline Abbott and not be the better for it.”
“It’s something that makes her happy,” Mrs. Herriton said. “But no one could spend three months with Caroline Abbott and not come out better for it.”
Just then Irma came in from school, and she read her mother’s letter to her, carefully correcting any grammatical errors, for she was a loyal supporter of parental authority—Irma listened politely, but soon changed the subject to hockey, in which her whole being was absorbed. They were to vote for colours that afternoon—yellow and white or yellow and green. What did her grandmother think?
Just then, Irma came home from school and read her mom’s letter to her, carefully fixing any grammatical mistakes because she strongly believed in respecting her parents’ authority. Irma listened politely but soon switched the topic to hockey, which she was completely absorbed in. They were going to vote on colors that afternoon—yellow and white or yellow and green. What did her grandma think?
Of course Mrs. Herriton had an opinion, which she sedately expounded, in spite of Harriet, who said that colours were unnecessary for children, and of Philip, who said that they were ugly. She was getting proud of Irma, who had certainly greatly improved, and could no longer be called that most appalling of things—a vulgar child. She was anxious to form her before her mother returned. So she had no objection to the leisurely movements of the travellers, and even suggested that they should overstay their year if it suited them.
Of course, Mrs. Herriton had her opinion, which she calmly shared, despite Harriet saying that colors were unnecessary for kids and Philip claiming they were ugly. She was becoming proud of Irma, who had definitely improved and could no longer be called the most dreadful of things—a tacky child. She was eager to shape her before her mother came back. So, she didn’t mind the travelers taking their time and even suggested they should stay longer if it worked for them.
Lilia’s next letter was also from Monteriano, and Philip grew quite enthusiastic.
Lilia's next letter was also from Monteriano, and Philip got pretty excited.
“They’ve stopped there over a week!” he cried. “Why! I shouldn’t have done as much myself. They must be really keen, for the hotel’s none too comfortable.”
“They’ve been there for over a week!” he shouted. “Why! I wouldn’t have done that much myself. They must be really eager, because the hotel isn’t very comfortable.”
“I cannot understand people,” said Harriet. “What can they be doing all day? And there is no church there, I suppose.”
“I don’t get people,” said Harriet. “What do they do all day? And I guess there’s no church there, right?”
“There is Santa Deodata, one of the most beautiful churches in Italy.”
“There is Santa Deodata, one of the most stunning churches in Italy.”
“Of course I mean an English church,” said Harriet stiffly. “Lilia promised me that she would always be in a large town on Sundays.”
“Of course I mean an English church,” Harriet said stiffly. “Lilia promised me that she would always be in a big town on Sundays.”
“If she goes to a service at Santa Deodata’s, she will find more beauty and sincerity than there is in all the Back Kitchens of Europe.”
“If she goes to a service at Santa Deodata’s, she will find more beauty and sincerity than there is in all the Back Kitchens of Europe.”
The Back Kitchen was his nickname for St. James’s, a small depressing edifice much patronized by his sister. She always resented any slight on it, and Mrs. Herriton had to intervene.
The Back Kitchen was his nickname for St. James’s, a small, gloomy building that his sister often frequented. She always took offense at any criticism of it, and Mrs. Herriton had to step in.
“Now, dears, don’t. Listen to Lilia’s letter. ‘We love this place, and I do not know how I shall ever thank Philip for telling me it. It is not only so quaint, but one sees the Italians unspoiled in all their simplicity and charm here. The frescoes are wonderful. Caroline, who grows sweeter every day, is very busy sketching.’”
“Now, guys, don’t. Listen to Lilia’s letter. ‘We love this place, and I have no idea how I’ll ever thank Philip for telling me about it. It’s not only so charming, but you can see the Italians in their pure simplicity and charm here. The frescoes are amazing. Caroline, who’s getting sweeter every day, is really busy sketching.’”
“Every one to his taste!” said Harriet, who always delivered a platitude as if it was an epigram. She was curiously virulent about Italy, which she had never visited, her only experience of the Continent being an occasional six weeks in the Protestant parts of Switzerland.
“Everyone has their own preferences!” said Harriet, who always stated a cliché like it was a brilliant observation. She had a strangely harsh opinion about Italy, a place she had never been, her only experience of Europe being a few six-week trips to the Protestant areas of Switzerland.
“Oh, Harriet is a bad lot!” said Philip as soon as she left the room. His mother laughed, and told him not to be naughty; and the appearance of Irma, just off to school, prevented further discussion. Not only in Tracts is a child a peacemaker.
“Oh, Harriet is a bad influence!” said Philip as soon as she left the room. His mom laughed and told him not to be mischievous; and the arrival of Irma, just heading off to school, stopped any further conversation. It's not just in Tracts that a child can be a peacemaker.
“One moment, Irma,” said her uncle. “I’m going to the station. I’ll give you the pleasure of my company.”
“One moment, Irma,” said her uncle. “I’m heading to the station. I’ll enjoy your company.”
They started together. Irma was gratified; but conversation flagged, for Philip had not the art of talking to the young. Mrs. Herriton sat a little longer at the breakfast table, re-reading Lilia’s letter. Then she helped the cook to clear, ordered dinner, and started the housemaid turning out the drawing-room, Tuesday being its day. The weather was lovely, and she thought she would do a little gardening, as it was quite early. She called Harriet, who had recovered from the insult to St. James’s, and together they went to the kitchen garden and began to sow some early vegetables.
They started off together. Irma felt pleased, but the conversation stalled because Philip wasn’t good at talking to young people. Mrs. Herriton stayed a bit longer at the breakfast table, re-reading Lilia’s letter. Then she helped the cook clean up, placed an order for dinner, and got the housemaid to tidy up the drawing-room since it was its scheduled day. The weather was beautiful, and she thought she'd do a bit of gardening since it was still quite early. She called Harriet, who had gotten over the incident at St. James’s, and together they went to the kitchen garden to start planting some early vegetables.
“We will save the peas to the last; they are the greatest fun,” said Mrs. Herriton, who had the gift of making work a treat. She and her elderly daughter always got on very well, though they had not a great deal in common. Harriet’s education had been almost too successful. As Philip once said, she had “bolted all the cardinal virtues and couldn’t digest them.” Though pious and patriotic, and a great moral asset for the house, she lacked that pliancy and tact which her mother so much valued, and had expected her to pick up for herself. Harriet, if she had been allowed, would have driven Lilia to an open rupture, and, what was worse, she would have done the same to Philip two years before, when he returned full of passion for Italy, and ridiculing Sawston and its ways.
“We’ll save the peas for last; they’re the most fun,” said Mrs. Herriton, who had a knack for making work enjoyable. She and her elderly daughter always got along well, even though they didn’t have a lot in common. Harriet’s education had been almost too effective. As Philip once remarked, she had “gulped down all the cardinal virtues and couldn’t handle them.” Although she was religious and patriotic, and a great moral support for the household, she lacked the flexibility and tact that her mother valued so highly and had expected her to learn on her own. If given the chance, Harriet would have driven Lilia to a public confrontation, and, even worse, she would have done the same to Philip two years earlier when he returned full of enthusiasm for Italy, mocking Sawston and its ways.
“It’s a shame, Mother!” she had cried. “Philip laughs at everything—the Book Club, the Debating Society, the Progressive Whist, the bazaars. People won’t like it. We have our reputation. A house divided against itself cannot stand.”
“It’s a shame, Mom!” she had exclaimed. “Philip laughs at everything—the Book Club, the Debating Society, the Progressive Whist, the fundraisers. People won’t like it. We have our reputation. A house divided against itself can’t stand.”
Mrs. Herriton replied in the memorable words, “Let Philip say what he likes, and he will let us do what we like.” And Harriet had acquiesced.
Mrs. Herriton replied with the memorable words, “Let Philip say what he wants, and he will let us do what we want.” And Harriet had agreed.
They sowed the duller vegetables first, and a pleasant feeling of righteous fatigue stole over them as they addressed themselves to the peas. Harriet stretched a string to guide the row straight, and Mrs. Herriton scratched a furrow with a pointed stick. At the end of it she looked at her watch.
They planted the less exciting vegetables first, and a nice sense of satisfying tiredness came over them as they focused on the peas. Harriet stretched a string to keep the row straight, and Mrs. Herriton used a pointed stick to scratch a furrow. When she finished, she looked at her watch.
“It’s twelve! The second post’s in. Run and see if there are any letters.”
“It’s twelve! The second post is in. Hurry and check if there are any letters.”
Harriet did not want to go. “Let’s finish the peas. There won’t be any letters.”
Harriet didn't want to go. "Let's finish the peas. There aren't going to be any letters."
“No, dear; please go. I’ll sow the peas, but you shall cover them up—and mind the birds don’t see ‘em!”
“No, sweetie; just go ahead. I’ll plant the peas, but you need to cover them up—and make sure the birds don’t spot them!”
Mrs. Herriton was very careful to let those peas trickle evenly from her hand, and at the end of the row she was conscious that she had never sown better. They were expensive too.
Mrs. Herriton was very careful to let those peas fall evenly from her hand, and by the end of the row, she felt that she had never planted better. They were pricey too.
“Actually old Mrs. Theobald!” said Harriet, returning.
“Actually, old Mrs. Theobald!” said Harriet, coming back.
“Read me the letter. My hands are dirty. How intolerable the crested paper is.”
“Read me the letter. My hands are dirty. How annoying this fancy paper is.”
Harriet opened the envelope.
Harriet opened the letter.
“I don’t understand,” she said; “it doesn’t make sense.”
“I don’t get it,” she said; “it doesn’t add up.”
“Her letters never did.”
“Her texts never did.”
“But it must be sillier than usual,” said Harriet, and her voice began to quaver. “Look here, read it, Mother; I can’t make head or tail.”
“But it has to be weirder than usual,” said Harriet, and her voice started to shake. “Look, read it, Mom; I can’t understand anything.”
Mrs. Herriton took the letter indulgently. “What is the difficulty?” she said after a long pause. “What is it that puzzles you in this letter?”
Mrs. Herriton took the letter with a sense of patience. “What’s the issue?” she said after a long pause. “What confuses you about this letter?”
“The meaning—” faltered Harriet. The sparrows hopped nearer and began to eye the peas.
“The meaning—” faltered Harriet. The sparrows hopped closer and started to eye the peas.
“The meaning is quite clear—Lilia is engaged to be married. Don’t cry, dear; please me by not crying—don’t talk at all. It’s more than I could bear. She is going to marry some one she has met in a hotel. Take the letter and read for yourself.” Suddenly she broke down over what might seem a small point. “How dare she not tell me direct! How dare she write first to Yorkshire! Pray, am I to hear through Mrs. Theobald—a patronizing, insolent letter like this? Have I no claim at all? Bear witness, dear”—she choked with passion—“bear witness that for this I’ll never forgive her!”
"The meaning is very clear—Lilia is engaged to be married. Don’t cry, dear; please don’t cry—just don’t say anything. I can’t handle it. She’s going to marry someone she met at a hotel. Take the letter and read it for yourself." Suddenly she broke down over what might seem like a small issue. “How could she not tell me directly! How could she write to Yorkshire first! Am I really going to hear about this from Mrs. Theobald—a condescending, rude letter like this? Do I have no say at all? Bear witness, dear”—she choked with emotion—“bear witness that for this I’ll never forgive her!”
“Oh, what is to be done?” moaned Harriet. “What is to be done?”
“Oh, what are we going to do?” moaned Harriet. “What are we going to do?”
“This first!” She tore the letter into little pieces and scattered it over the mould. “Next, a telegram for Lilia! No! a telegram for Miss Caroline Abbott. She, too, has something to explain.”
“This first!” She ripped the letter into small bits and scattered them over the dirt. “Next, a telegram for Lilia! No! a telegram for Miss Caroline Abbott. She also has something to explain.”
“Oh, what is to be done?” repeated Harriet, as she followed her mother to the house. She was helpless before such effrontery. What awful thing—what awful person had come to Lilia? “Some one in the hotel.” The letter only said that. What kind of person? A gentleman? An Englishman? The letter did not say.
“Oh, what are we going to do?” repeated Harriet as she followed her mother to the house. She felt powerless against such boldness. What terrible thing—what terrible person had come to Lilia? “Someone from the hotel.” That was all the letter mentioned. What kind of person? A gentleman? An Englishman? The letter didn’t say.
“Wire reason of stay at Monteriano. Strange rumours,” read Mrs. Herriton, and addressed the telegram to Abbott, Stella d’Italia, Monteriano, Italy. “If there is an office there,” she added, “we might get an answer this evening. Since Philip is back at seven, and the eight-fifteen catches the midnight boat at Dover—Harriet, when you go with this, get 100 pounds in 5 pound notes at the bank.”
“Wire reason for staying in Monteriano. Odd rumors,” read Mrs. Herriton, and she addressed the telegram to Abbott, Stella d’Italia, Monteriano, Italy. “If there’s an office there,” she added, “we might get a response this evening. Since Philip is back at seven, and the eight-fifteen catches the midnight boat at Dover—Harriet, when you take this, get 100 pounds in 5-pound notes at the bank.”
“Go, dear, at once; do not talk. I see Irma coming back; go quickly.... Well, Irma dear, and whose team are you in this afternoon—Miss Edith’s or Miss May’s?”
“Go now, my dear; don’t talk. I see Irma coming back; hurry up.... So, Irma dear, whose team are you on this afternoon—Miss Edith’s or Miss May’s?”
But as soon as she had behaved as usual to her grand-daughter, she went to the library and took out the large atlas, for she wanted to know about Monteriano. The name was in the smallest print, in the midst of a woolly-brown tangle of hills which were called the “Sub-Apennines.” It was not so very far from Siena, which she had learnt at school. Past it there wandered a thin black line, notched at intervals like a saw, and she knew that this was a railway. But the map left a good deal to imagination, and she had not got any. She looked up the place in “Childe Harold,” but Byron had not been there. Nor did Mark Twain visit it in the “Tramp Abroad.” The resources of literature were exhausted: she must wait till Philip came home. And the thought of Philip made her try Philip’s room, and there she found “Central Italy,” by Baedeker, and opened it for the first time in her life and read in it as follows:—
But as soon as she acted normally with her granddaughter, she headed to the library and took out the big atlas because she wanted to learn about Monteriano. The name was in tiny print, hidden among a fuzzy brown mass of hills called the “Sub-Apennines.” It wasn't too far from Siena, which she had learned about in school. A thin black line, jagged like a saw, passed through it, and she knew that was a railway. But the map left a lot to the imagination, and she didn’t have any. She looked up the place in “Childe Harold,” but Byron hadn’t been there. Nor did Mark Twain visit it in “A Tramp Abroad.” The resources of literature were exhausted: she would have to wait until Philip came home. Thinking of Philip led her to check his room, where she discovered “Central Italy” by Baedeker, opened it for the first time in her life, and read the following:—
MONTERIANO (pop. 4800). Hotels: Stella d’Italia, moderate only; Globo, dirty. * Caffe Garibaldi. Post and Telegraph office in Corso Vittorio Emmanuele, next to theatre. Photographs at Seghena’s (cheaper in Florence). Diligence (1 lira) meets principal trains.
MONTERIANO (pop. 4800). Hotels: Stella d’Italia, reasonably priced; Globo, not clean. * Caffe Garibaldi. Post and Telegraph office on Corso Vittorio Emmanuele, next to the theater. Get photographs at Seghena’s (less expensive in Florence). The stagecoach (1 lira) connects with main trains.
Chief attractions (2-3 hours): Santa Deodata, Palazzo Pubblico, Sant’ Agostino, Santa Caterina, Sant’ Ambrogio, Palazzo Capocchi. Guide (2 lire) unnecessary. A walk round the Walls should on no account be omitted. The view from the Rocca (small gratuity) is finest at sunset.
Chief attractions (2-3 hours): Santa Deodata, Palazzo Pubblico, Sant’ Agostino, Santa Caterina, Sant’ Ambrogio, Palazzo Capocchi. A guide (2 lire) isn't really needed. You definitely shouldn't skip a walk around the Walls. The view from the Rocca (small tip) is best at sunset.
History: Monteriano, the Mons Rianus of Antiquity, whose Ghibelline tendencies are noted by Dante (Purg. xx.), definitely emancipated itself from Poggibonsi in 1261. Hence the distich, “POGGIBONIZZI, FAUI IN LA, CHE MONTERIANO SI FA CITTA!” till recently enscribed over the Siena gate. It remained independent till 1530, when it was sacked by the Papal troops and became part of the Grand Duchy of Tuscany. It is now of small importance, and seat of the district prison. The inhabitants are still noted for their agreeable manners.
History: Monteriano, the Mons Rianus of ancient times, known for its Ghibelline leanings as noted by Dante (Purg. xx.), officially broke away from Poggibonsi in 1261. Hence the saying, “POGGIBONIZZI, FAUI IN LA, CHE MONTERIANO SI FA CITTA!” which was until recently carved above the Siena gate. It remained independent until 1530, when it was raided by the Papal troops and became part of the Grand Duchy of Tuscany. Today, it holds little significance and serves as the location of the district prison. The residents are still recognized for their friendly demeanor.
The traveller will proceed direct from the Siena gate to the Collegiate Church of Santa Deodata, and inspect (5th chapel on right) the charming Frescoes....
The traveler will head straight from the Siena gate to the Collegiate Church of Santa Deodata and check out the lovely frescoes in the 5th chapel on the right....
Mrs. Herriton did not proceed. She was not one to detect the hidden charms of Baedeker. Some of the information seemed to her unnecessary, all of it was dull. Whereas Philip could never read “The view from the Rocca (small gratuity) is finest at sunset” without a catching at the heart. Restoring the book to its place, she went downstairs, and looked up and down the asphalt paths for her daughter. She saw her at last, two turnings away, vainly trying to shake off Mr. Abbott, Miss Caroline Abbott’s father. Harriet was always unfortunate. At last she returned, hot, agitated, crackling with bank-notes, and Irma bounced to greet her, and trod heavily on her corn.
Mrs. Herriton didn't move on. She wasn't someone who could see the hidden charms of Baedeker. Some of the information seemed unnecessary to her, and all of it was boring. Meanwhile, Philip could never read “The view from the Rocca (small gratuity) is best at sunset” without feeling a pang in his heart. After putting the book back in its place, she went downstairs and scanned the asphalt paths for her daughter. Eventually, she spotted her, two turns away, desperately trying to shake off Mr. Abbott, Miss Caroline Abbott’s father. Harriet was always unlucky. Finally, she returned, flushed, anxious, and clutching banknotes, while Irma bounced over to greet her and accidentally stepped on her corn.
“Your feet grow larger every day,” said the agonized Harriet, and gave her niece a violent push. Then Irma cried, and Mrs. Herriton was annoyed with Harriet for betraying irritation. Lunch was nasty; and during pudding news arrived that the cook, by sheer dexterity, had broken a very vital knob off the kitchen-range. “It is too bad,” said Mrs. Herriton. Irma said it was three bad, and was told not to be rude. After lunch Harriet would get out Baedeker, and read in injured tones about Monteriano, the Mons Rianus of Antiquity, till her mother stopped her.
“Your feet are getting bigger every day,” said the upset Harriet, pushing her niece hard. Then Irma started to cry, and Mrs. Herriton got annoyed with Harriet for showing her frustration. Lunch was unpleasant, and while they were having dessert, news came that the cook, through sheer skill, had broken an important knob off the kitchen stove. “That’s unfortunate,” said Mrs. Herriton. Irma said it was really unfortunate, and was told not to be rude. After lunch, Harriet would pull out the Baedeker guide and read dramatically about Monteriano, the Mons Rianus of ancient times, until her mother told her to stop.
“It’s ridiculous to read, dear. She’s not trying to marry any one in the place. Some tourist, obviously, who’s stopping in the hotel. The place has nothing to do with it at all.”
“It’s ridiculous to read, dear. She’s not trying to marry anyone in the place. Just some tourist, obviously, who’s staying at the hotel. The place has nothing to do with it at all.”
“But what a place to go to! What nice person, too, do you meet in a hotel?”
“But what a place to visit! What nice people do you meet at a hotel?”
“Nice or nasty, as I have told you several times before, is not the point. Lilia has insulted our family, and she shall suffer for it. And when you speak against hotels, I think you forget that I met your father at Chamounix. You can contribute nothing, dear, at present, and I think you had better hold your tongue. I am going to the kitchen, to speak about the range.”
“Nice or nasty, as I’ve mentioned to you multiple times before, isn’t the issue. Lilia has disrespected our family, and she will pay for it. And when you criticize hotels, you seem to forget that I met your father at Chamounix. You can’t add anything, dear, right now, and I think it’s best if you keep quiet. I’m heading to the kitchen to talk about the range.”
She spoke just too much, and the cook said that if she could not give satisfaction—she had better leave. A small thing at hand is greater than a great thing remote, and Lilia, misconducting herself upon a mountain in Central Italy, was immediately hidden. Mrs. Herriton flew to a registry office, failed; flew to another, failed again; came home, was told by the housemaid that things seemed so unsettled that she had better leave as well; had tea, wrote six letters, was interrupted by cook and housemaid, both weeping, asking her pardon, and imploring to be taken back. In the flush of victory the door-bell rang, and there was the telegram: “Lilia engaged to Italian nobility. Writing. Abbott.”
She talked way too much, and the cook said that if she couldn’t keep things running smoothly, she’d better leave. A small issue nearby is more important than a big one far away, and Lilia, acting up on a mountain in Central Italy, was quickly out of sight. Mrs. Herriton rushed to a temp agency, got turned down; rushed to another one, got turned down again; came home, and the housemaid told her that things seemed so chaotic that she might as well leave too; had tea, wrote six letters, and was interrupted by the cook and housemaid, both crying, asking for forgiveness, and begging to be taken back. In the moment of triumph, the doorbell rang, and a telegram arrived: “Lilia engaged to Italian nobility. Writing. Abbott.”
“No answer,” said Mrs. Herriton. “Get down Mr. Philip’s Gladstone from the attic.”
“No answer,” said Mrs. Herriton. “Get Mr. Philip’s suitcase down from the attic.”
She would not allow herself to be frightened by the unknown. Indeed she knew a little now. The man was not an Italian noble, otherwise the telegram would have said so. It must have been written by Lilia. None but she would have been guilty of the fatuous vulgarity of “Italian nobility.” She recalled phrases of this morning’s letter: “We love this place—Caroline is sweeter than ever, and busy sketching—Italians full of simplicity and charm.” And the remark of Baedeker, “The inhabitants are still noted for their agreeable manners,” had a baleful meaning now. If Mrs. Herriton had no imagination, she had intuition, a more useful quality, and the picture she made to herself of Lilia’s FIANCE did not prove altogether wrong.
She refused to let herself be scared by the unknown. In fact, she knew a bit more now. The man wasn’t an Italian noble; otherwise, the telegram would have mentioned it. It had to be written by Lilia. No one else would be foolish enough to refer to “Italian nobility.” She remembered phrases from this morning’s letter: “We love this place—Caroline is sweeter than ever, and busy sketching—Italians are full of simplicity and charm.” And Baedeker’s remark, “The inhabitants are still noted for their agreeable manners,” now had a dark undertone. If Mrs. Herriton lacked imagination, she had intuition, which was a more practical quality, and the image she created of Lilia’s FIANCÉ didn’t turn out to be entirely wrong.
So Philip was received with the news that he must start in half an hour for Monteriano. He was in a painful position. For three years he had sung the praises of the Italians, but he had never contemplated having one as a relative. He tried to soften the thing down to his mother, but in his heart of hearts he agreed with her when she said, “The man may be a duke or he may be an organ-grinder. That is not the point. If Lilia marries him she insults the memory of Charles, she insults Irma, she insults us. Therefore I forbid her, and if she disobeys we have done with her for ever.”
So Philip was told that he had to leave for Monteriano in half an hour. He was in a tough spot. For three years, he had sung the praises of Italians, but he had never considered having one in the family. He tried to soften the news to his mother, but deep down, he agreed with her when she said, “The guy could be a duke or just a street performer. That’s not the issue. If Lilia marries him, she disrespects Charles's memory, she disrespects Irma, she disrespects us. So I forbid her, and if she goes against that, we’re done with her for good.”
“I will do all I can,” said Philip in a low voice. It was the first time he had had anything to do. He kissed his mother and sister and puzzled Irma. The hall was warm and attractive as he looked back into it from the cold March night, and he departed for Italy reluctantly, as for something commonplace and dull.
“I’ll do everything I can,” Philip said quietly. It was the first time he had any responsibilities. He kissed his mother and sister, leaving Irma confused. The hall felt warm and inviting as he glanced back at it from the chilly March night, and he left for Italy hesitantly, as if it were something ordinary and boring.
Before Mrs. Herriton went to bed she wrote to Mrs. Theobald, using plain language about Lilia’s conduct, and hinting that it was a question on which every one must definitely choose sides. She added, as if it was an afterthought, that Mrs. Theobald’s letter had arrived that morning.
Before Mrs. Herriton went to bed, she wrote to Mrs. Theobald, using straightforward language about Lilia’s behavior and suggesting that it was an issue on which everyone would have to take a clear position. She mentioned, almost as an afterthought, that Mrs. Theobald’s letter had arrived that morning.
Just as she was going upstairs she remembered that she never covered up those peas. It upset her more than anything, and again and again she struck the banisters with vexation. Late as it was, she got a lantern from the tool-shed and went down the garden to rake the earth over them. The sparrows had taken every one. But countless fragments of the letter remained, disfiguring the tidy ground.
Just as she was heading upstairs, she remembered that she hadn’t covered those peas. It bothered her more than anything, and she kept hitting the banisters in frustration. Even though it was late, she grabbed a lantern from the tool shed and went down the garden to cover them up. The sparrows had taken every single one. But there were countless pieces of the letter left, making the tidy ground look messy.
Chapter 2
When the bewildered tourist alights at the station of Monteriano, he finds himself in the middle of the country. There are a few houses round the railway, and many more dotted over the plain and the slopes of the hills, but of a town, mediaeval or otherwise, not the slightest sign. He must take what is suitably termed a “legno”—a piece of wood—and drive up eight miles of excellent road into the middle ages. For it is impossible, as well as sacrilegious, to be as quick as Baedeker.
When the confused tourist arrives at the Monteriano station, he finds himself in the countryside. There are a few houses near the train tracks, and many more scattered across the plain and the hillsides, but there’s no sign of a town, medieval or otherwise. He has to take what’s called a “legno”—a piece of wood—and travel eight miles along a great road into the middle ages. Because it’s not only impossible but also disrespectful to be as fast as Baedeker.
It was three in the afternoon when Philip left the realms of commonsense. He was so weary with travelling that he had fallen asleep in the train. His fellow-passengers had the usual Italian gift of divination, and when Monteriano came they knew he wanted to go there, and dropped him out. His feet sank into the hot asphalt of the platform, and in a dream he watched the train depart, while the porter who ought to have been carrying his bag, ran up the line playing touch-you-last with the guard. Alas! he was in no humour for Italy. Bargaining for a legno bored him unutterably. The man asked six lire; and though Philip knew that for eight miles it should scarcely be more than four, yet he was about to give what he was asked, and so make the man discontented and unhappy for the rest of the day. He was saved from this social blunder by loud shouts, and looking up the road saw one cracking his whip and waving his reins and driving two horses furiously, and behind him there appeared the swaying figure of a woman, holding star-fish fashion on to anything she could touch. It was Miss Abbott, who had just received his letter from Milan announcing the time of his arrival, and had hurried down to meet him.
It was three in the afternoon when Philip stepped out of reality. He was so exhausted from traveling that he had fallen asleep on the train. His fellow passengers had the typical Italian knack for intuition, and when Monteriano came up, they recognized he wanted to get off there and dropped him off. His feet sank into the hot asphalt of the platform, and in a daze, he watched the train leave, while the porter who should have been carrying his bag ran up the line playing tag with the guard. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in the mood for Italy. Haggling over a ride bored him to no end. The man asked for six lire; even though Philip knew that for eight miles it shouldn’t be more than four, he was about to pay what he was asked and make the guy grumpy for the rest of the day. He was saved from this social misstep by loud shouts, and looking up the road, he saw someone cracking a whip and waving the reins while driving two horses at full speed, and behind him came the swaying figure of a woman, holding on to anything she could grab. It was Miss Abbott, who had just received his letter from Milan notifying her of his arrival time and had rushed down to greet him.
He had known Miss Abbott for years, and had never had much opinion about her one way or the other. She was good, quiet, dull, and amiable, and young only because she was twenty-three: there was nothing in her appearance or manner to suggest the fire of youth. All her life had been spent at Sawston with a dull and amiable father, and her pleasant, pallid face, bent on some respectable charity, was a familiar object of the Sawston streets. Why she had ever wished to leave them was surprising; but as she truly said, “I am John Bull to the backbone, yet I do want to see Italy, just once. Everybody says it is marvellous, and that one gets no idea of it from books at all.” The curate suggested that a year was a long time; and Miss Abbott, with decorous playfulness, answered him, “Oh, but you must let me have my fling! I promise to have it once, and once only. It will give me things to think about and talk about for the rest of my life.” The curate had consented; so had Mr. Abbott. And here she was in a legno, solitary, dusty, frightened, with as much to answer and to answer for as the most dashing adventuress could desire.
He had known Miss Abbott for years and didn’t really think much of her either way. She was nice, quiet, boring, and friendly, and her youthfulness was only because she was twenty-three; there was nothing about her looks or behavior that hinted at the vibrancy of youth. Her whole life had been spent in Sawston with a dull and pleasant father, and her nice, pale face, focused on some respectable charity work, was a common sight on the streets of Sawston. It was surprising why she ever wanted to leave those streets; but as she honestly said, “I’m John Bull through and through, yet I do want to see Italy, just once. Everyone says it’s amazing, and that you can’t get a real sense of it from books.” The curate pointed out that a year was a long time, and Miss Abbott, with polite teasing, replied, “Oh, but you have to let me have my fun! I promise to do it just once. It’ll give me things to think about and talk about for the rest of my life.” The curate agreed; so did Mr. Abbott. And here she was in a wooden chair, alone, dusty, scared, with just as much to face and justify as any bold adventurer could hope for.
They shook hands without speaking. She made room for Philip and his luggage amidst the loud indignation of the unsuccessful driver, whom it required the combined eloquence of the station-master and the station beggar to confute. The silence was prolonged until they started. For three days he had been considering what he should do, and still more what he should say. He had invented a dozen imaginary conversations, in all of which his logic and eloquence procured him certain victory. But how to begin? He was in the enemy’s country, and everything—the hot sun, the cold air behind the heat, the endless rows of olive-trees, regular yet mysterious—seemed hostile to the placid atmosphere of Sawston in which his thoughts took birth. At the outset he made one great concession. If the match was really suitable, and Lilia were bent on it, he would give in, and trust to his influence with his mother to set things right. He would not have made the concession in England; but here in Italy, Lilia, however wilful and silly, was at all events growing to be a human being.
They shook hands without saying a word. She made space for Philip and his luggage amid the loud complaints of the angry driver, which took the combined efforts of the station master and the station beggar to resolve. The silence stretched on until they set off. For three days, he had been thinking about what he should do, and even more about what he should say. He had imagined a dozen conversations, in all of which his logic and eloquence led him to clear victory. But how to start? He was in unfamiliar territory, and everything—the scorching sun, the cool air behind the heat, the endless rows of olive trees, regular yet enigmatic—felt hostile to the calm atmosphere of Sawston where his thoughts had originated. At the beginning, he made one significant concession. If the match was truly suitable, and Lilia was determined to pursue it, he would give in and rely on his ability to influence his mother to fix things. He wouldn’t have made that concession in England; but here in Italy, Lilia, no matter how stubborn and foolish, was at least becoming more of a person.
“Are we to talk it over now?” he asked.
“Should we discuss it now?” he asked.
“Certainly, please,” said Miss Abbott, in great agitation. “If you will be so very kind.”
“Of course, please,” said Miss Abbott, clearly anxious. “If you could be so kind.”
“Then how long has she been engaged?”
“Then how long has she been engaged?”
Her face was that of a perfect fool—a fool in terror.
Her face looked like that of a complete fool—a fool in fear.
“A short time—quite a short time,” she stammered, as if the shortness of the time would reassure him.
“A little while—just a little while,” she stuttered, as if the briefness of the time would comfort him.
“I should like to know how long, if you can remember.”
“I'd like to know how long, if you can remember.”
She entered into elaborate calculations on her fingers. “Exactly eleven days,” she said at last.
She started counting on her fingers. “Exactly eleven days,” she finally said.
“How long have you been here?”
“How long have you been here?”
More calculations, while he tapped irritably with his foot. “Close on three weeks.”
More calculations, while he tapped his foot in irritation. “Almost three weeks.”
“Did you know him before you came?”
“Did you know him before you got here?”
“No.”
“Nope.”
“Oh! Who is he?”
“Oh! Who’s that?”
“A native of the place.”
"Local resident."
The second silence took place. They had left the plain now and were climbing up the outposts of the hills, the olive-trees still accompanying. The driver, a jolly fat man, had got out to ease the horses, and was walking by the side of the carriage.
The second silence happened. They had left the flat land and were climbing up the hills, still surrounded by olive trees. The driver, a cheerful, chubby man, had gotten out to stretch the horses and was walking alongside the carriage.
“I understood they met at the hotel.”
“I got that they met at the hotel.”
“It was a mistake of Mrs. Theobald’s.”
“It was a mistake by Mrs. Theobald.”
“I also understand that he is a member of the Italian nobility.”
“I also understand that he is part of the Italian nobility.”
She did not reply.
She didn't reply.
“May I be told his name?”
“Can I be told his name?”
Miss Abbott whispered, “Carella.” But the driver heard her, and a grin split over his face. The engagement must be known already.
Miss Abbott whispered, “Carella.” But the driver heard her, and a grin spread across his face. The engagement must already be known.
“Carella? Conte or Marchese, or what?”
“Carella? Count or Marquis, or what?”
“Signor,” said Miss Abbott, and looked helplessly aside.
“Sir,” said Miss Abbott, glancing helplessly to the side.
“Perhaps I bore you with these questions. If so, I will stop.”
“Maybe I'm boring you with these questions. If that's the case, I'll stop.”
“Oh, no, please; not at all. I am here—my own idea—to give all information which you very naturally—and to see if somehow—please ask anything you like.”
“Oh, no, please; not at all. I’m here on my own accord to provide any information you naturally want—and to see if somehow—please ask whatever you like.”
“Then how old is he?”
“How old is he now?”
“Oh, quite young. Twenty-one, I believe.”
“Oh, very young. Twenty-one, I think.”
There burst from Philip the exclamation, “Good Lord!”
There burst from Philip the exclamation, “Oh my God!”
“One would never believe it,” said Miss Abbott, flushing. “He looks much older.”
“One would never believe it,” said Miss Abbott, blushing. “He looks way older.”
“And is he good-looking?” he asked, with gathering sarcasm.
“And is he good-looking?” he asked, with increasing sarcasm.
She became decisive. “Very good-looking. All his features are good, and he is well built—though I dare say English standards would find him too short.”
She became decisive. “Really good-looking. All his features are attractive, and he's well-built—though I bet English standards would consider him too short.”
Philip, whose one physical advantage was his height, felt annoyed at her implied indifference to it.
Philip, the one thing he had going for him was his height, felt irritated by her apparent lack of interest in it.
“May I conclude that you like him?”
“Can I take it that you like him?”
She replied decisively again, “As far as I have seen him, I do.”
She responded firmly again, “As far as I know him, I do.”
At that moment the carriage entered a little wood, which lay brown and sombre across the cultivated hill. The trees of the wood were small and leafless, but noticeable for this—that their stems stood in violets as rocks stand in the summer sea. There are such violets in England, but not so many. Nor are there so many in Art, for no painter has the courage. The cart-ruts were channels, the hollow lagoons; even the dry white margin of the road was splashed, like a causeway soon to be submerged under the advancing tide of spring. Philip paid no attention at the time: he was thinking what to say next. But his eyes had registered the beauty, and next March he did not forget that the road to Monteriano must traverse innumerable flowers.
At that moment, the carriage entered a small forest, which lay brown and gloomy across the cultivated hill. The trees in the forest were small and leafless, but notable because their trunks stood in violets like rocks do in the summer sea. There are such violets in England, but not as many. Nor are there as many in Art, since no painter has the courage. The cart ruts were like channels, the hollow puddles; even the dry white edge of the road was splashed, like a causeway about to be submerged under the advancing tide of spring. Philip didn’t pay attention at the time; he was thinking about what to say next. But his eyes took in the beauty, and the following March he didn’t forget that the road to Monteriano would pass through countless flowers.
“As far as I have seen him, I do like him,” repeated Miss Abbott, after a pause.
"As far as I've seen him, I do like him," repeated Miss Abbott after a pause.
He thought she sounded a little defiant, and crushed her at once.
He thought she sounded a bit rebellious, and shut her down immediately.
“What is he, please? You haven’t told me that. What’s his position?”
“What is he, please? You still haven't told me that. What's his role?”
She opened her mouth to speak, and no sound came from it. Philip waited patiently. She tried to be audacious, and failed pitiably.
She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Philip waited patiently. She tried to be bold but failed miserably.
“No position at all. He is kicking his heels, as my father would say. You see, he has only just finished his military service.”
“No position at all. He’s just waiting around, like my dad would say. You see, he just finished his military service.”
“As a private?”
“As a private soldier?”
“I suppose so. There is general conscription. He was in the Bersaglieri, I think. Isn’t that the crack regiment?”
“I guess so. There’s mandatory military service. He was in the Bersaglieri, I think. Isn’t that the elite regiment?”
“The men in it must be short and broad. They must also be able to walk six miles an hour.”
“The men in it need to be short and stocky. They also have to be able to walk six miles an hour.”
She looked at him wildly, not understanding all that he said, but feeling that he was very clever. Then she continued her defence of Signor Carella.
She looked at him frantically, not grasping everything he said, but sensing that he was very smart. Then she went on to defend Signor Carella.
“And now, like most young men, he is looking out for something to do.”
“And now, like most young guys, he's searching for something to do.”
“Meanwhile?”
"What's happening meanwhile?"
“Meanwhile, like most young men, he lives with his people—father, mother, two sisters, and a tiny tot of a brother.”
“Meanwhile, like most young men, he lives with his family—dad, mom, two sisters, and a little brother.”
There was a grating sprightliness about her that drove him nearly mad. He determined to silence her at last.
There was an annoying energy about her that drove him almost crazy. He decided it was time to finally quiet her down.
“One more question, and only one more. What is his father?”
“One more question, and just one more. What is his father?”
“His father,” said Miss Abbott. “Well, I don’t suppose you’ll think it a good match. But that’s not the point. I mean the point is not—I mean that social differences—love, after all—not but what—I—”
“His father,” said Miss Abbott. “Well, I don’t think you’ll see it as a good match. But that’s not the issue. What I mean is that social differences—love, after all—not that I—”
Philip ground his teeth together and said nothing.
Philip clenched his teeth and stayed silent.
“Gentlemen sometimes judge hardly. But I feel that you, and at all events your mother—so really good in every sense, so really unworldly—after all, love-marriages are made in heaven.”
“Guys can be pretty judgmental. But I believe that you, and definitely your mom—who is genuinely good in every way and truly not materialistic—after all, love marriages are made in heaven.”
“Yes, Miss Abbott, I know. But I am anxious to hear heaven’s choice. You arouse my curiosity. Is my sister-in-law to marry an angel?”
“Yes, Miss Abbott, I know. But I’m eager to hear heaven’s decision. You’ve got me curious. Is my sister-in-law going to marry an angel?”
“Mr. Herriton, don’t—please, Mr. Herriton—a dentist. His father’s a dentist.”
“Mr. Herriton, please don’t—Mr. Herriton, a dentist. His father’s a dentist.”
Philip gave a cry of personal disgust and pain. He shuddered all over, and edged away from his companion. A dentist! A dentist at Monteriano. A dentist in fairyland! False teeth and laughing gas and the tilting chair at a place which knew the Etruscan League, and the Pax Romana, and Alaric himself, and the Countess Matilda, and the Middle Ages, all fighting and holiness, and the Renaissance, all fighting and beauty! He thought of Lilia no longer. He was anxious for himself: he feared that Romance might die.
Philip let out a cry of disgust and pain. He shuddered all over and moved away from his companion. A dentist! A dentist in Monteriano. A dentist in a fairy tale! False teeth, laughing gas, and the tilting chair in a place that had known the Etruscan League, the Pax Romana, Alaric himself, the Countess Matilda, and the Middle Ages, full of conflict and holiness, and the Renaissance, filled with struggle and beauty! He no longer thought about Lilia. He was worried about himself; he feared that Romance might fade away.
Romance only dies with life. No pair of pincers will ever pull it out of us. But there is a spurious sentiment which cannot resist the unexpected and the incongruous and the grotesque. A touch will loosen it, and the sooner it goes from us the better. It was going from Philip now, and therefore he gave the cry of pain.
Romance only dies with life. No pair of pliers will ever pull it out of us. But there is a fake sentiment that can’t withstand the unexpected, the mismatched, and the absurd. A simple touch can let it go, and the sooner it leaves us, the better. It was leaving Philip now, and that’s why he let out a cry of pain.
“I cannot think what is in the air,” he began. “If Lilia was determined to disgrace us, she might have found a less repulsive way. A boy of medium height with a pretty face, the son of a dentist at Monteriano. Have I put it correctly? May I surmise that he has not got one penny? May I also surmise that his social position is nil? Furthermore—”
“I can’t figure out what’s going on,” he started. “If Lilia wanted to embarrass us, she could have chosen a less disgusting way. A guy of average height with a decent face, the son of a dentist in Monteriano. Did I get that right? Should I assume that he doesn’t have a dime? Should I also assume that his social status is non-existent? Plus—”
“Stop! I’ll tell you no more.”
“Stop! I won’t say anything else.”
“Really, Miss Abbott, it is a little late for reticence. You have equipped me admirably!”
“Honestly, Miss Abbott, it's a bit late for holding back. You've set me up perfectly!”
“I’ll tell you not another word!” she cried, with a spasm of terror. Then she got out her handkerchief, and seemed as if she would shed tears. After a silence, which he intended to symbolize to her the dropping of a curtain on the scene, he began to talk of other subjects.
“I won’t say another word!” she shouted, a wave of fear passing over her. Then she took out her handkerchief and looked like she was about to cry. After a pause, which he meant to signify the end of the scene, he started talking about different topics.
They were among olives again, and the wood with its beauty and wildness had passed away. But as they climbed higher the country opened out, and there appeared, high on a hill to the right, Monteriano. The hazy green of the olives rose up to its walls, and it seemed to float in isolation between trees and sky, like some fantastic ship city of a dream. Its colour was brown, and it revealed not a single house—nothing but the narrow circle of the walls, and behind them seventeen towers—all that was left of the fifty-two that had filled the city in her prime. Some were only stumps, some were inclining stiffly to their fall, some were still erect, piercing like masts into the blue. It was impossible to praise it as beautiful, but it was also impossible to damn it as quaint.
They were among the olives again, and the beautiful, wild woods had faded away. But as they climbed higher, the landscape opened up, revealing Monteriano perched high on a hill to the right. The hazy green of the olives rose up to its walls, making it look like it was floating in isolation between the trees and the sky, like some fantastic ship of a dream. Its color was brown, and it showed no houses—only the narrow circle of walls and behind them, seventeen towers—all that remained of the fifty-two that once filled the city in its heyday. Some were just stumps, some were leaning awkwardly, and some stood tall, pointing like masts into the blue sky. It was impossible to call it beautiful, but it was also impossible to dismiss it as quaint.
Meanwhile Philip talked continually, thinking this to be great evidence of resource and tact. It showed Miss Abbott that he had probed her to the bottom, but was able to conquer his disgust, and by sheer force of intellect continue to be as agreeable and amusing as ever. He did not know that he talked a good deal of nonsense, and that the sheer force of his intellect was weakened by the sight of Monteriano, and by the thought of dentistry within those walls.
Meanwhile, Philip kept talking non-stop, believing this was a clear sign of his resourcefulness and social skill. It made Miss Abbott feel that he had truly understood her, but he was able to push past his feelings of disgust and, through sheer intelligence, remain as charming and entertaining as always. He didn’t realize that he was saying quite a bit of nonsense, and that his brilliance was dimmed by the sight of Monteriano and the thought of dental work inside those walls.
The town above them swung to the left, to the right, to the left again, as the road wound upward through the trees, and the towers began to glow in the descending sun. As they drew near, Philip saw the heads of people gathering black upon the walls, and he knew well what was happening—how the news was spreading that a stranger was in sight, and the beggars were aroused from their content and bid to adjust their deformities; how the alabaster man was running for his wares, and the Authorized Guide running for his peaked cap and his two cards of recommendation—one from Miss M’Gee, Maida Vale, the other, less valuable, from an Equerry to the Queen of Peru; how some one else was running to tell the landlady of the Stella d’Italia to put on her pearl necklace and brown boots and empty the slops from the spare bedroom; and how the landlady was running to tell Lilia and her boy that their fate was at hand.
The town above them swayed left, then right, then left again as the road climbed upward through the trees, and the towers began to shine in the setting sun. As they approached, Philip noticed the silhouettes of people gathering darkly on the walls, and he knew exactly what was happening—how the word was spreading that a stranger was approaching, and the beggars were stirred from their usual spots and told to fix their appearances; how the alabaster man was rushing to grab his goods, and the Authorized Guide was hurrying for his peaked cap and his two recommendation cards—one from Miss M’Gee, Maida Vale, the other, less impressive, from an Equerry to the Queen of Peru; how someone else was dashing off to inform the landlady of the Stella d’Italia to put on her pearl necklace and brown boots and clear the slops from the spare bedroom; and how the landlady was rushing to tell Lilia and her son that their moment had arrived.
Perhaps it was a pity Philip had talked so profusely. He had driven Miss Abbott half demented, but he had given himself no time to concert a plan. The end came so suddenly. They emerged from the trees on to the terrace before the walk, with the vision of half Tuscany radiant in the sun behind them, and then they turned in through the Siena gate, and their journey was over. The Dogana men admitted them with an air of gracious welcome, and they clattered up the narrow dark street, greeted by that mixture of curiosity and kindness which makes each Italian arrival so wonderful.
Maybe it was a shame Philip had talked so much. He had driven Miss Abbott almost crazy, but he hadn’t given himself any time to come up with a plan. The end came so quickly. They stepped out of the trees onto the terrace before the path, with half of Tuscany shining in the sun behind them, and then they went through the Siena gate, and their journey was done. The Dogana men welcomed them warmly, and they clattered up the narrow dark street, greeted by the mix of curiosity and kindness that makes every Italian arrival so special.
He was stunned and knew not what to do. At the hotel he received no ordinary reception. The landlady wrung him by the hand; one person snatched his umbrella, another his bag; people pushed each other out of his way. The entrance seemed blocked with a crowd. Dogs were barking, bladder whistles being blown, women waving their handkerchiefs, excited children screaming on the stairs, and at the top of the stairs was Lilia herself, very radiant, with her best blouse on.
He was shocked and didn’t know what to do. At the hotel, he got an extraordinary welcome. The landlady shook his hand vigorously; one person grabbed his umbrella, another took his bag; people jostled each other to get out of his way. The entrance felt crowded with a mob. Dogs were barking, whistles were being blown, women were waving their handkerchiefs, excited kids were screaming on the stairs, and at the top of the stairs was Lilia herself, looking very bright and wearing her best blouse.
“Welcome!” she cried. “Welcome to Monteriano!” He greeted her, for he did not know what else to do, and a sympathetic murmur rose from the crowd below.
“Welcome!” she exclaimed. “Welcome to Monteriano!” He responded to her greeting, not knowing what else to say, and a sympathetic murmur spread through the crowd below.
“You told me to come here,” she continued, “and I don’t forget it. Let me introduce Signor Carella!”
“You told me to come here,” she continued, “and I won’t forget it. Let me introduce Mr. Carella!”
Philip discerned in the corner behind her a young man who might eventually prove handsome and well-made, but certainly did not seem so then. He was half enveloped in the drapery of a cold dirty curtain, and nervously stuck out a hand, which Philip took and found thick and damp. There were more murmurs of approval from the stairs.
Philip noticed a young man in the corner behind her who could possibly turn out to be handsome and well-built, but definitely didn’t look that way at the moment. He was partly hidden by the drapery of a cold, dirty curtain and nervously extended a hand, which Philip took and found to be thick and damp. There were more murmurs of approval coming from the stairs.
“Well, din-din’s nearly ready,” said Lilia. “Your room’s down the passage, Philip. You needn’t go changing.”
“Well, dinner’s almost ready,” said Lilia. “Your room’s down the hallway, Philip. You don’t need to change.”
He stumbled away to wash his hands, utterly crushed by her effrontery.
He walked away to wash his hands, completely defeated by her boldness.
“Dear Caroline!” whispered Lilia as soon as he had gone. “What an angel you’ve been to tell him! He takes it so well. But you must have had a MAUVAIS QUART D’HEURE.”
“Dear Caroline!” whispered Lilia as soon as he had left. “What an angel you’ve been to tell him! He took it so well. But you must have had a tough time.”
Miss Abbott’s long terror suddenly turned into acidity. “I’ve told nothing,” she snapped. “It’s all for you—and if it only takes a quarter of an hour you’ll be lucky!”
Miss Abbott's prolonged anxiety suddenly shifted to frustration. “I haven't said anything,” she snapped. “It’s all for you—and if it only takes fifteen minutes, you'll be lucky!”
Dinner was a nightmare. They had the smelly dining-room to themselves. Lilia, very smart and vociferous, was at the head of the table; Miss Abbott, also in her best, sat by Philip, looking, to his irritated nerves, more like the tragedy confidante every moment. That scion of the Italian nobility, Signor Carella, sat opposite. Behind him loomed a bowl of goldfish, who swam round and round, gaping at the guests.
Dinner was a disaster. They had the stinky dining room all to themselves. Lilia, really stylish and loud, was at the head of the table; Miss Abbott, also dressed up, sat by Philip, looking more like a tragic confidante with each passing moment, which irritated him. Opposite them sat Signor Carella, a scion of Italian nobility. Behind him hovered a bowl of goldfish, swimming in circles and staring at the guests.
The face of Signor Carella was twitching too much for Philip to study it. But he could see the hands, which were not particularly clean, and did not get cleaner by fidgeting amongst the shining slabs of hair. His starched cuffs were not clean either, and as for his suit, it had obviously been bought for the occasion as something really English—a gigantic check, which did not even fit. His handkerchief he had forgotten, but never missed it. Altogether, he was quite unpresentable, and very lucky to have a father who was a dentist in Monteriano. And why, even Lilia—But as soon as the meal began it furnished Philip with an explanation.
The face of Signor Carella was twitching too much for Philip to examine it closely. But he could see his hands, which were not very clean, and didn’t get any cleaner as they fidgeted with the shiny strands of hair. His starched cuffs were also dirty, and his suit, which looked like it had been bought for the occasion, was a gigantic check that didn’t even fit properly. He had forgotten his handkerchief, but it didn’t seem to bother him. Overall, he was quite unpresentable and very lucky to have a father who was a dentist in Monteriano. And why, even Lilia—But as soon as the meal started, it gave Philip an explanation.
For the youth was hungry, and his lady filled his plate with spaghetti, and when those delicious slippery worms were flying down his throat, his face relaxed and became for a moment unconscious and calm. And Philip had seen that face before in Italy a hundred times—seen it and loved it, for it was not merely beautiful, but had the charm which is the rightful heritage of all who are born on that soil. But he did not want to see it opposite him at dinner. It was not the face of a gentleman.
For the young man was hungry, and his lady filled his plate with spaghetti, and as those delicious, slippery strands slid down his throat, his face relaxed and became, for a moment, unguarded and calm. Philip had seen that look before in Italy a hundred times—seen it and loved it, because it was not just beautiful, but had the charm that belongs to everyone born on that land. But he didn’t want to see it across from him at dinner. It wasn’t the face of a gentleman.
Conversation, to give it that name, was carried on in a mixture of English and Italian. Lilia had picked up hardly any of the latter language, and Signor Carella had not yet learnt any of the former. Occasionally Miss Abbott had to act as interpreter between the lovers, and the situation became uncouth and revolting in the extreme. Yet Philip was too cowardly to break forth and denounce the engagement. He thought he should be more effective with Lilia if he had her alone, and pretended to himself that he must hear her defence before giving judgment.
Conversation, as it's called, happened in a mix of English and Italian. Lilia had barely learned any Italian, and Signor Carella had yet to learn any English. Sometimes Miss Abbott had to step in as a translator between the two, and it became awkward and uncomfortable. Yet Philip was too afraid to speak up and call off the engagement. He thought it would be more effective to talk to Lilia alone and convinced himself that he needed to hear her side of the story before making a decision.
Signor Carella, heartened by the spaghetti and the throat-rasping wine, attempted to talk, and, looking politely towards Philip, said, “England is a great country. The Italians love England and the English.”
Signor Carella, encouraged by the spaghetti and the harsh wine, tried to chat and, glancing politely at Philip, said, “England is a great country. Italians love England and the English.”
Philip, in no mood for international amenities, merely bowed.
Philip, not interested in any international niceties, just nodded.
“Italy too,” the other continued a little resentfully, “is a great country. She has produced many famous men—for example Garibaldi and Dante. The latter wrote the ‘Inferno,’ the ‘Purgatorio,’ the ‘Paradiso.’ The ‘Inferno’ is the most beautiful.” And with the complacent tone of one who has received a solid education, he quoted the opening lines—
“Italy too,” the other continued a bit resentfully, “is a great country. It has produced many famous people—for example, Garibaldi and Dante. The latter wrote the ‘Inferno,’ the ‘Purgatorio,’ the ‘Paradiso.’ The ‘Inferno’ is the most beautiful.” And with the pleased tone of someone who has received a solid education, he quoted the opening lines—
Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita Mi ritrovai per una selva oscura Che la diritta via era smarrita—
In the middle of our life's journey I found myself in a dark forest For the straight path had been lost—
a quotation which was more apt than he supposed.
a quote that was more fitting than he realized.
Lilia glanced at Philip to see whether he noticed that she was marrying no ignoramus. Anxious to exhibit all the good qualities of her betrothed, she abruptly introduced the subject of pallone, in which, it appeared, he was a proficient player. He suddenly became shy and developed a conceited grin—the grin of the village yokel whose cricket score is mentioned before a stranger. Philip himself had loved to watch pallone, that entrancing combination of lawn-tennis and fives. But he did not expect to love it quite so much again.
Lilia looked at Philip to see if he realized she was marrying someone smart. Eager to show off all the great qualities of her fiancé, she quickly brought up the topic of pallone, in which he turned out to be really skilled. He suddenly got shy and wore a proud grin—the kind of grin a local guy has when his cricket score is mentioned in front of a stranger. Philip had always enjoyed watching pallone, that captivating mix of lawn tennis and fives. But he didn't expect to enjoy it quite as much again.
“Oh, look!” exclaimed Lilia, “the poor wee fish!”
“Oh, look!” Lilia exclaimed, “the poor little fish!”
A starved cat had been worrying them all for pieces of the purple quivering beef they were trying to swallow. Signor Carella, with the brutality so common in Italians, had caught her by the paw and flung her away from him. Now she had climbed up to the bowl and was trying to hook out the fish. He got up, drove her off, and finding a large glass stopper by the bowl, entirely plugged up the aperture with it.
A hungry cat had been bothering them for scraps of the tender purple beef they were trying to eat. Signor Carella, with the harshness often seen in Italians, had grabbed her by the paw and tossed her away. Now she had climbed up to the bowl and was trying to fish out the food. He stood up, chased her away, and finding a large glass stopper by the bowl, completely sealed it with it.
“But may not the fish die?” said Miss Abbott. “They have no air.”
“But what if the fish die?” said Miss Abbott. “They can't breathe.”
“Fish live on water, not on air,” he replied in a knowing voice, and sat down. Apparently he was at his ease again, for he took to spitting on the floor. Philip glanced at Lilia but did not detect her wincing. She talked bravely till the end of the disgusting meal, and then got up saying, “Well, Philip, I am sure you are ready for by-bye. We shall meet at twelve o’clock lunch tomorrow, if we don’t meet before. They give us caffe later in our rooms.”
“Fish live in water, not in air,” he replied knowingly and sat down. He seemed relaxed again, as he started to spit on the floor. Philip glanced at Lilia but didn’t notice her flinching. She spoke confidently until the end of the unpleasant meal, then got up and said, “Well, Philip, I’m sure you’re ready to say goodbye. We'll meet at noon for lunch tomorrow, unless we see each other before. They bring us coffee later in our rooms.”
It was a little too impudent. Philip replied, “I should like to see you now, please, in my room, as I have come all the way on business.” He heard Miss Abbott gasp. Signor Carella, who was lighting a rank cigar, had not understood.
It was a bit too bold. Philip replied, “I’d like to see you now, please, in my room, since I’ve come all this way for business.” He heard Miss Abbott gasp. Signor Carella, who was lighting a strong cigar, hadn’t understood.
It was as he expected. When he was alone with Lilia he lost all nervousness. The remembrance of his long intellectual supremacy strengthened him, and he began volubly—
It was just as he expected. When he was alone with Lilia, he lost all his nervousness. The memory of his long intellectual dominance boosted his confidence, and he started to speak fluently—
“My dear Lilia, don’t let’s have a scene. Before I arrived I thought I might have to question you. It is unnecessary. I know everything. Miss Abbott has told me a certain amount, and the rest I see for myself.”
“My dear Lilia, let’s not make a scene. Before I got here, I thought I might need to ask you some questions, but that’s not needed. I know everything. Miss Abbott has shared some details with me, and the rest I can see for myself.”
“See for yourself?” she exclaimed, and he remembered afterwards that she had flushed crimson.
“See for yourself?” she exclaimed, and he remembered later that she had turned bright red.
“That he is probably a ruffian and certainly a cad.”
“That he is probably a thug and definitely a jerk.”
“There are no cads in Italy,” she said quickly.
“There are no jerks in Italy,” she said quickly.
He was taken aback. It was one of his own remarks. And she further upset him by adding, “He is the son of a dentist. Why not?”
He was surprised. It was one of his own comments. She made him even more annoyed by adding, “He’s the son of a dentist. Why not?”
“Thank you for the information. I know everything, as I told you before. I am also aware of the social position of an Italian who pulls teeth in a minute provincial town.”
“Thanks for the info. I know everything, like I mentioned before. I’m also aware of the social status of an Italian who pulls teeth in a small provincial town.”
He was not aware of it, but he ventured to conclude that it was pretty, low. Nor did Lilia contradict him. But she was sharp enough to say, “Indeed, Philip, you surprise me. I understood you went in for equality and so on.”
He didn’t realize it, but he dared to assume it was quite low. Lilia didn’t disagree with him. But she was clever enough to say, “Wow, Philip, you really surprise me. I thought you were all about equality and stuff.”
“And I understood that Signor Carella was a member of the Italian nobility.”
“And I realized that Signor Carella was part of the Italian nobility.”
“Well, we put it like that in the telegram so as not to shock dear Mrs. Herriton. But it is true. He is a younger branch. Of course families ramify—just as in yours there is your cousin Joseph.” She adroitly picked out the only undesirable member of the Herriton clan. “Gino’s father is courtesy itself, and rising rapidly in his profession. This very month he leaves Monteriano, and sets up at Poggibonsi. And for my own poor part, I think what people are is what matters, but I don’t suppose you’ll agree. And I should like you to know that Gino’s uncle is a priest—the same as a clergyman at home.”
“Well, we phrased it that way in the telegram to avoid upsetting dear Mrs. Herriton. But it’s true. He is a younger branch. Families do branch out—just like how you have your cousin Joseph.” She cleverly pointed out the only unwanted member of the Herriton family. “Gino’s father is very courteous and is moving up quickly in his profession. This month, he’s leaving Monteriano to settle in Poggibonsi. As for me, I believe that what people are is what really matters, but I doubt you’ll agree. And I want you to know that Gino’s uncle is a priest—just like a clergyman back home.”
Philip was aware of the social position of an Italian priest, and said so much about it that Lilia interrupted him with, “Well, his cousin’s a lawyer at Rome.”
Philip knew the social status of an Italian priest and talked about it so much that Lilia cut him off, saying, “Well, his cousin is a lawyer in Rome.”
“What kind of ‘lawyer’?”
“What type of ‘lawyer’?”
“Why, a lawyer just like you are—except that he has lots to do and can never get away.”
“Why, a lawyer just like you—except he has a lot on his plate and can never take a break.”
The remark hurt more than he cared to show. He changed his method, and in a gentle, conciliating tone delivered the following speech:—
The comment stung more than he let on. He altered his approach and, in a soft, soothing tone, gave the following speech:—
“The whole thing is like a bad dream—so bad that it cannot go on. If there was one redeeming feature about the man I might be uneasy. As it is I can trust to time. For the moment, Lilia, he has taken you in, but you will find him out soon. It is not possible that you, a lady, accustomed to ladies and gentlemen, will tolerate a man whose position is—well, not equal to the son of the servants’ dentist in Coronation Place. I am not blaming you now. But I blame the glamour of Italy—I have felt it myself, you know—and I greatly blame Miss Abbott.”
“The whole thing feels like a nightmare—so bad that it can't keep going. If there was even one good thing about the man, I might feel uneasy. But as it stands, I can rely on time. Right now, Lilia, he’s fooled you, but you’ll figure him out soon enough. It’s impossible for you, a lady used to other ladies and gentlemen, to accept a man whose status is—well, below that of the son of the dentist for the staff in Coronation Place. I’m not blaming you now. But I do blame the allure of Italy—I’ve felt it myself, you know—and I really blame Miss Abbott.”
“Caroline! Why blame her? What’s all this to do with Caroline?”
“Caroline! Why put the blame on her? What does any of this have to do with Caroline?”
“Because we expected her to—” He saw that the answer would involve him in difficulties, and, waving his hand, continued, “So I am confident, and you in your heart agree, that this engagement will not last. Think of your life at home—think of Irma! And I’ll also say think of us; for you know, Lilia, that we count you more than a relation. I should feel I was losing my own sister if you did this, and my mother would lose a daughter.”
“Because we thought she would—” He realized that answering would lead to complications, and, waving his hand, continued, “So I’m sure, and deep down you agree, that this engagement won’t last. Consider your life at home—think about Irma! And I’ll also say think about us; because you know, Lilia, that we see you as more than just a relative. I would feel like I was losing my own sister if you went through with this, and my mother would lose a daughter.”
She seemed touched at last, for she turned away her face and said, “I can’t break it off now!”
She finally seemed moved, as she turned her face away and said, “I can’t end it now!”
“Poor Lilia,” said he, genuinely moved. “I know it may be painful. But I have come to rescue you, and, book-worm though I may be, I am not frightened to stand up to a bully. He’s merely an insolent boy. He thinks he can keep you to your word by threats. He will be different when he sees he has a man to deal with.”
“Poor Lilia,” he said, truly feeling for her. “I know this might hurt. But I’ve come to save you, and even though I’m a bit of a bookworm, I’m not afraid to confront a bully. He’s just a cocky kid. He thinks he can enforce your promises with threats. He’ll act differently when he realizes he’s up against a man.”
What follows should be prefaced with some simile—the simile of a powder-mine, a thunderbolt, an earthquake—for it blew Philip up in the air and flattened him on the ground and swallowed him up in the depths. Lilia turned on her gallant defender and said—
What comes next should start with a comparison—the comparison of a powder keg, a lightning strike, an earthquake—because it launched Philip into the air, slammed him down, and pulled him into the depths. Lilia turned to her brave defender and said—
“For once in my life I’ll thank you to leave me alone. I’ll thank your mother too. For twelve years you’ve trained me and tortured me, and I’ll stand it no more. Do you think I’m a fool? Do you think I never felt? Ah! when I came to your house a poor young bride, how you all looked me over—never a kind word—and discussed me, and thought I might just do; and your mother corrected me, and your sister snubbed me, and you said funny things about me to show how clever you were! And when Charles died I was still to run in strings for the honour of your beastly family, and I was to be cooped up at Sawston and learn to keep house, and all my chances spoilt of marrying again. No, thank you! No, thank you! ‘Bully?’ ‘Insolent boy?’ Who’s that, pray, but you? But, thank goodness, I can stand up against the world now, for I’ve found Gino, and this time I marry for love!”
“For once in my life, I’d appreciate it if you would leave me alone. I’ll thank your mother too. For twelve years, you’ve trained and tortured me, and I won’t put up with it any longer. Do you think I’m a fool? Do you think I’ve never felt anything? Ah! When I came to your house as a poor young bride, how you all looked me over—never a kind word—and talked about me, thinking I might just do; and your mother corrected me, and your sister brushed me off, and you made jokes about me to show how clever you were! And when Charles died, I was still supposed to play along for the honor of your awful family, and I was to be stuck at Sawston learning to keep house, ruining all my chances of marrying again. No, thank you! No, thank you! ‘Bully?’ ‘Insolent boy?’ Who’s that, might I ask, but you? But thank goodness, I can stand up against the world now, because I’ve found Gino, and this time I’m marrying for love!”
The coarseness and truth of her attack alike overwhelmed him. But her supreme insolence found him words, and he too burst forth.
The harshness and honesty of her attack hit him hard. But her sheer audacity gave him words, and he also erupted.
“Yes! and I forbid you to do it! You despise me, perhaps, and think I’m feeble. But you’re mistaken. You are ungrateful and impertinent and contemptible, but I will save you in order to save Irma and our name. There is going to be such a row in this town that you and he’ll be sorry you came to it. I shall shrink from nothing, for my blood is up. It is unwise of you to laugh. I forbid you to marry Carella, and I shall tell him so now.”
“Yes! And I’m not letting you do it! Maybe you look down on me and think I’m weak. But you’re wrong. You’re ungrateful, disrespectful, and pathetic, but I’ll rescue you to protect Irma and our name. There’s going to be such a commotion in this town that you and he will regret coming here. I won’t hold back because I’m fired up. It’s foolish of you to laugh. I’m not allowing you to marry Carella, and I’m going to tell him that right now.”
“Do,” she cried. “Tell him so now. Have it out with him. Gino! Gino! Come in! Avanti! Fra Filippo forbids the banns!”
“Do,” she shouted. “Tell him right now. Confront him. Gino! Gino! Come in! Avanti! Fra Filippo is prohibiting the banns!”
Gino appeared so quickly that he must have been listening outside the door.
Gino showed up so fast that he must have been eavesdropping outside the door.
“Fra Filippo’s blood’s up. He shrinks from nothing. Oh, take care he doesn’t hurt you!” She swayed about in vulgar imitation of Philip’s walk, and then, with a proud glance at the square shoulders of her betrothed, flounced out of the room.
“Fra Filippo is fired up. He’s not afraid of anything. Oh, watch out he doesn't hurt you!” She swayed around in a crude imitation of Philip’s walk, and then, with a proud look at the broad shoulders of her fiancé, strutted out of the room.
Did she intend them to fight? Philip had no intention of doing so; and no more, it seemed, had Gino, who stood nervously in the middle of the room with twitching lips and eyes.
Did she want them to fight? Philip had no intention of doing that; and neither did Gino, who stood nervously in the middle of the room with twitching lips and wide eyes.
“Please sit down, Signor Carella,” said Philip in Italian. “Mrs. Herriton is rather agitated, but there is no reason we should not be calm. Might I offer you a cigarette? Please sit down.”
“Please take a seat, Signor Carella,” Philip said in Italian. “Mrs. Herriton is a bit upset, but there’s no reason for us not to stay calm. Can I offer you a cigarette? Please, make yourself comfortable.”
He refused the cigarette and the chair, and remained standing in the full glare of the lamp. Philip, not averse to such assistance, got his own face into shadow.
He declined the cigarette and the chair, choosing to stand in the bright light of the lamp. Philip, not opposed to the help, moved his own face into the shade.
For a long time he was silent. It might impress Gino, and it also gave him time to collect himself. He would not this time fall into the error of blustering, which he had caught so unaccountably from Lilia. He would make his power felt by restraint.
For a long time, he stayed quiet. It might impress Gino, and it also gave him time to gather his thoughts. He wouldn’t make the mistake of being loud and overconfident this time, a habit he had picked up inexplicably from Lilia. He would show his strength through self-control.
Why, when he looked up to begin, was Gino convulsed with silent laughter? It vanished immediately; but he became nervous, and was even more pompous than he intended.
Why, when he looked up to start, was Gino shaking with silent laughter? It disappeared right away; but he got nervous and was even more pretentious than he meant to be.
“Signor Carella, I will be frank with you. I have come to prevent you marrying Mrs. Herriton, because I see you will both be unhappy together. She is English, you are Italian; she is accustomed to one thing, you to another. And—pardon me if I say it—she is rich and you are poor.”
“Mr. Carella, I’m going to be honest with you. I’m here to stop you from marrying Mrs. Herriton because I believe you’ll both end up unhappy. She’s English, you’re Italian; she’s used to one way of life, and you’re used to another. And—sorry to bring it up—she’s wealthy and you’re not.”
“I am not marrying her because she is rich,” was the sulky reply.
“I’m not marrying her just because she’s wealthy,” was the sulky reply.
“I never suggested that for a moment,” said Philip courteously. “You are honourable, I am sure; but are you wise? And let me remind you that we want her with us at home. Her little daughter will be motherless, our home will be broken up. If you grant my request you will earn our thanks—and you will not be without a reward for your disappointment.”
“I never suggested that for a second,” Philip said politely. “You are honorable, I’m sure; but are you wise? And let me remind you that we want her with us at home. Her little daughter will be motherless, and our home will be in chaos. If you grant my request, you’ll earn our gratitude—and you won’t be without a reward for your disappointment.”
“Reward—what reward?” He bent over the back of a chair and looked earnestly at Philip. They were coming to terms pretty quickly. Poor Lilia!
“Reward—what reward?” He leaned over the back of a chair and stared intently at Philip. They were settling things pretty quickly. Poor Lilia!
Philip said slowly, “What about a thousand lire?”
Philip said slowly, “How about a thousand lire?”
His soul went forth into one exclamation, and then he was silent, with gaping lips. Philip would have given double: he had expected a bargain.
His soul let out a single exclamation, and then he fell silent, his mouth hanging open. Philip would have given anything; he had been hoping for a deal.
“You can have them tonight.”
“You can have them tonight.”
He found words, and said, “It is too late.”
He found the words and said, “It’s too late.”
“But why?”
"But why?"
“Because—” His voice broke. Philip watched his face,—a face without refinement perhaps, but not without expression,—watched it quiver and re-form and dissolve from emotion into emotion. There was avarice at one moment, and insolence, and politeness, and stupidity, and cunning—and let us hope that sometimes there was love. But gradually one emotion dominated, the most unexpected of all; for his chest began to heave and his eyes to wink and his mouth to twitch, and suddenly he stood erect and roared forth his whole being in one tremendous laugh.
“Because—” His voice cracked. Philip observed his face—a face that might lack refinement but was definitely expressive—watching it tremble and shift, changing from one feeling to another. There was greed one moment, then arrogance, politeness, foolishness, and slyness—and let’s hope that every now and then there was love. But gradually, one feeling took over, the most surprising of all; his chest started to heave, his eyes blinked, and his mouth twitched, and suddenly he stood up straight and let out a huge laugh that encompassed his entire being.
Philip sprang up, and Gino, who had flung wide his arms to let the glorious creature go, took him by the shoulders and shook him, and said, “Because we are married—married—married as soon as I knew you were, coming. There was no time to tell you. Oh. oh! You have come all the way for nothing. Oh! And oh, your generosity!” Suddenly he became grave, and said, “Please pardon me; I am rude. I am no better than a peasant, and I—” Here he saw Philip’s face, and it was too much for him. He gasped and exploded and crammed his hands into his mouth and spat them out in another explosion, and gave Philip an aimless push, which toppled him on to the bed. He uttered a horrified Oh! and then gave up, and bolted away down the passage, shrieking like a child, to tell the joke to his wife.
Philip jumped up, and Gino, who had thrown his arms wide to let the amazing creature go, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him, saying, “Because we’re married—married—married as soon as I found out you were coming. There was no time to tell you. Oh, oh! You’ve come all this way for nothing. Oh! And oh, your generosity!” Suddenly he got serious and said, “Please forgive me; I’m being rude. I’m no better than a peasant, and I—” Then he saw Philip’s face, and it was too much for him. He gasped, exploded, shoved his hands in his mouth, and spat them out in another explosion, then gave Philip a random push that knocked him onto the bed. He let out a horrified “Oh!” and then gave up, bolting down the hallway, shrieking like a child to share the joke with his wife.
For a time Philip lay on the bed, pretending to himself that he was hurt grievously. He could scarcely see for temper, and in the passage he ran against Miss Abbott, who promptly burst into tears.
For a while, Philip lay on the bed, convincing himself that he was seriously hurt. He could barely see because of his anger, and in the hallway, he bumped into Miss Abbott, who immediately started crying.
“I sleep at the Globo,” he told her, “and start for Sawston tomorrow morning early. He has assaulted me. I could prosecute him. But shall not.”
“I’m staying at the Globo,” he told her, “and I’m heading to Sawston early tomorrow morning. He attacked me. I could take legal action against him. But I won’t.”
“I can’t stop here,” she sobbed. “I daren’t stop here. You will have to take me with you!”
“I can’t stop here,” she cried. “I can’t stop here. You have to take me with you!”
Chapter 3
Opposite the Volterra gate of Monteriano, outside the city, is a very respectable white-washed mud wall, with a coping of red crinkled tiles to keep it from dissolution. It would suggest a gentleman’s garden if there was not in its middle a large hole, which grows larger with every rain-storm. Through the hole is visible, firstly, the iron gate that is intended to close it; secondly, a square piece of ground which, though not quite, mud, is at the same time not exactly grass; and finally, another wall, stone this time, which has a wooden door in the middle and two wooden-shuttered windows each side, and apparently forms the facade of a one-storey house.
Opposite the Volterra gate of Monteriano, just outside the city, there’s a pretty respectable white-washed mud wall topped with red crinkled tiles to prevent it from eroding. It would look like a nice garden if there wasn't a big hole in the middle that gets bigger every time it rains. Through the hole, you can see, first, the iron gate meant to close it; second, a patch of ground that’s not quite mud but definitely not real grass either; and finally, another wall, this one made of stone, featuring a wooden door in the center and two wooden-shuttered windows on either side, which seems to be the front of a one-story house.
This house is bigger than it looks, for it slides for two storeys down the hill behind, and the wooden door, which is always locked, really leads into the attic. The knowing person prefers to follow the precipitous mule-track round the turn of the mud wall till he can take the edifice in the rear. Then—being now on a level with the cellars—he lifts up his head and shouts. If his voice sounds like something light—a letter, for example, or some vegetables, or a bunch of flowers—a basket is let out of the first-floor windows by a string, into which he puts his burdens and departs. But if he sounds like something heavy, such as a log of wood, or a piece of meat, or a visitor, he is interrogated, and then bidden or forbidden to ascend. The ground floor and the upper floor of that battered house are alike deserted, and the inmates keep the central portion, just as in a dying body all life retires to the heart. There is a door at the top of the first flight of stairs, and if the visitor is admitted he will find a welcome which is not necessarily cold. There are several rooms, some dark and mostly stuffy—a reception-room adorned with horsehair chairs, wool-work stools, and a stove that is never lit—German bad taste without German domesticity broods over that room; also a living-room, which insensibly glides into a bedroom when the refining influence of hospitality is absent, and real bedrooms; and last, but not least, the loggia, where you can live day and night if you feel inclined, drinking vermouth and smoking cigarettes, with leagues of olive-trees and vineyards and blue-green hills to watch you.
This house is bigger than it seems, as it slopes down two stories on the hill at the back, and the wooden door, which is always locked, actually leads into the attic. A knowledgeable person prefers to take the steep mule path around the muddy wall until they can see the building from the back. Then—now level with the cellars—they lifts their head and shouts. If their voice sounds light—like a letter, some vegetables, or a bunch of flowers—a basket is lowered from the first-floor windows on a string, into which they place their items and leave. But if they sound heavy, like a log of wood, a piece of meat, or a visitor, they are questioned and then told whether or not they can come up. The ground floor and upper floor of that worn house are both deserted, and the occupants stick to the central area, just as in a dying body all life retreats to the heart. There is a door at the top of the first flight of stairs, and if the visitor is allowed in, they will find a welcome that isn’t necessarily cold. There are several rooms, some dark and mostly stuffy— a reception room decorated with horsehair chairs, wool stools, and a stove that’s never used—German bad taste without German warmth lingers over that room; there’s also a living room that seamlessly turns into a bedroom when the refining touch of hospitality is absent, along with real bedrooms; and last but not least, the loggia, where you can stay day and night if you want, sipping vermouth and smoking cigarettes, watching stretches of olive trees, vineyards, and blue-green hills.
It was in this house that the brief and inevitable tragedy of Lilia’s married life took place. She made Gino buy it for her, because it was there she had first seen him sitting on the mud wall that faced the Volterra gate. She remembered how the evening sun had struck his hair, and how he had smiled down at her, and being both sentimental and unrefined, was determined to have the man and the place together. Things in Italy are cheap for an Italian, and, though he would have preferred a house in the piazza, or better still a house at Siena, or, bliss above bliss, a house at Leghorn, he did as she asked, thinking that perhaps she showed her good taste in preferring so retired an abode.
It was in this house that the short and unavoidable tragedy of Lilia’s married life unfolded. She got Gino to buy it for her because it was where she had first seen him sitting on the mud wall that faced the Volterra gate. She remembered how the evening sun had shone on his hair and how he had smiled down at her, and being both sentimental and unsophisticated, she was determined to have both the man and the place. Things in Italy are affordable for an Italian, and even though he would have preferred a house in the piazza, or better yet, a house in Siena, or, ultimate dream, a house in Leghorn, he did as she asked, thinking that perhaps she was showing her good taste by wanting such a quiet home.
The house was far too big for them, and there was a general concourse of his relatives to fill it up. His father wished to make it a patriarchal concern, where all the family should have their rooms and meet together for meals, and was perfectly willing to give up the new practice at Poggibonsi and preside. Gino was quite willing too, for he was an affectionate youth who liked a large home-circle, and he told it as a pleasant bit of news to Lilia, who did not attempt to conceal her horror.
The house was way too big for them, and all of his relatives came to fill it up. His dad wanted to turn it into a family place where everyone could have their own rooms and gather for meals, and he was totally fine with giving up the new routine at Poggibonsi to take charge. Gino was on board as well since he was a caring guy who enjoyed a big family atmosphere, and he shared the news with Lilia, who didn't even try to hide her shock.
At once he was horrified too; saw that the idea was monstrous; abused himself to her for having suggested it; rushed off to tell his father that it was impossible. His father complained that prosperity was already corrupting him and making him unsympathetic and hard; his mother cried; his sisters accused him of blocking their social advance. He was apologetic, and even cringing, until they turned on Lilia. Then he turned on them, saying that they could not understand, much less associate with, the English lady who was his wife; that there should be one master in that house—himself.
Immediately, he felt horrified; he realized the idea was outrageous; he scolded himself for even bringing it up; he hurried to tell his father that it was out of the question. His father complained that success was already corrupting him and making him cold and insensitive; his mother was in tears; his sisters accused him of hindering their social climb. He was apologetic and even submissive until they shifted their anger to Lilia. Then he turned on them, insisting that they couldn’t comprehend, let alone connect with, the English woman who was his wife; that there should be one person in charge in that house—him.
Lilia praised and petted him on his return, calling him brave and a hero and other endearing epithets. But he was rather blue when his clan left Monteriano in much dignity—a dignity which was not at all impaired by the acceptance of a cheque. They took the cheque not to Poggibonsi, after all, but to Empoli—a lively, dusty town some twenty miles off. There they settled down in comfort, and the sisters said they had been driven to it by Gino.
Lilia congratulated him and showered him with affection when he got back, calling him brave and a hero among other sweet names. But he felt pretty down when his clan left Monteriano with a lot of pride—a pride that wasn’t diminished at all by accepting a check. They didn’t take the check to Poggibonsi after all, but to Empoli—a bustling, dusty town about twenty miles away. There they settled in comfortably, and the sisters claimed Gino was the reason they had to do it.
The cheque was, of course, Lilia’s, who was extremely generous, and was quite willing to know anybody so long as she had not to live with them, relations-in-law being on her nerves. She liked nothing better than finding out some obscure and distant connection—there were several of them—and acting the lady bountiful, leaving behind her bewilderment, and too often discontent. Gino wondered how it was that all his people, who had formerly seemed so pleasant, had suddenly become plaintive and disagreeable. He put it down to his lady wife’s magnificence, in comparison with which all seemed common. Her money flew apace, in spite of the cheap living. She was even richer than he expected; and he remembered with shame how he had once regretted his inability to accept the thousand lire that Philip Herriton offered him in exchange for her. It would have been a shortsighted bargain.
The check was, of course, Lilia's, who was incredibly generous and happy to meet anyone as long as she didn't have to live with them, in-laws getting on her nerves. She loved nothing more than discovering some obscure, distant family connection—there were quite a few—and playing the role of the benevolent benefactor, often leaving confusion and too much dissatisfaction in her wake. Gino wondered why all his relatives, who had once seemed so pleasant, had suddenly turned whiny and unpleasant. He attributed it to his wife's grandeur, which made everyone else seem ordinary in comparison. Her money was disappearing quickly, despite the low cost of living. She was even wealthier than he had expected, and he felt a pang of shame remembering how he had once regretted not accepting the thousand lire that Philip Herriton offered him in exchange for her. That would have been a short-sighted deal.
Lilia enjoyed settling into the house, with nothing to do except give orders to smiling workpeople, and a devoted husband as interpreter. She wrote a jaunty account of her happiness to Mrs. Herriton, and Harriet answered the letter, saying (1) that all future communications should be addressed to the solicitors; (2) would Lilia return an inlaid box which Harriet had lent her—but not given—to keep handkerchiefs and collars in?
Lilia loved getting comfortable in the house, with nothing to do but tell cheerful workers what to do, and her devoted husband translating for her. She wrote a cheerful letter to Mrs. Herriton about her happiness, and Harriet replied, saying (1) that all future communications should go to the lawyers; (2) would Lilia return an inlaid box that Harriet had lent her—but not given—to store handkerchiefs and collars?
“Look what I am giving up to live with you!” she said to Gino, never omitting to lay stress on her condescension. He took her to mean the inlaid box, and said that she need not give it up at all.
“Look at what I'm giving up to be with you!” she said to Gino, making sure to emphasize her condescension. He thought she meant the inlaid box and told her she didn’t have to give it up at all.
“Silly fellow, no! I mean the life. Those Herritons are very well connected. They lead Sawston society. But what do I care, so long as I have my silly fellow!” She always treated him as a boy, which he was, and as a fool, which he was not, thinking herself so immeasurably superior to him that she neglected opportunity after opportunity of establishing her rule. He was good-looking and indolent; therefore he must be stupid. He was poor; therefore he would never dare to criticize his benefactress. He was passionately in love with her; therefore she could do exactly as she liked.
“Foolish guy, no! I mean the lifestyle. Those Herritons are really well-connected. They run Sawston society. But what do I care, as long as I have my foolish guy!” She always treated him like a kid, which he was, and as an idiot, which he was not, believing herself to be so far above him that she missed countless chances to assert her authority. He was handsome and lazy; therefore, he must be dumb. He was poor; so he would never risk criticizing his benefactor. He was deeply in love with her; therefore, she could do whatever she wanted.
“It mayn’t be heaven below,” she thought, “but it’s better than Charles.”
“It might not be heaven below,” she thought, “but it’s better than Charles.”
And all the time the boy was watching her, and growing up.
And all the time the boy was watching her and growing up.
She was reminded of Charles by a disagreeable letter from the solicitors, bidding her disgorge a large sum of money for Irma, in accordance with her late husband’s will. It was just like Charles’s suspicious nature to have provided against a second marriage. Gino was equally indignant, and between them they composed a stinging reply, which had no effect. He then said that Irma had better come out and live with them. “The air is good, so is the food; she will be happy here, and we shall not have to part with the money.” But Lilia had not the courage even to suggest this to the Herritons, and an unexpected terror seized her at the thought of Irma or any English child being educated at Monteriano.
She was reminded of Charles by an unpleasant letter from the lawyers, instructing her to pay a large sum of money for Irma, as stated in her late husband’s will. It was just like Charles’s suspicious nature to have safeguarded against a second marriage. Gino was just as angry, and together they wrote a scathing reply, which had no effect. He then said that Irma should come and live with them. “The air is nice, the food is good; she’ll be happy here, and we won’t have to part with the money.” But Lilia didn’t have the nerve to even suggest this to the Herritons, and an unexpected fear gripped her at the thought of Irma or any English child being educated in Monteriano.
Gino became terribly depressed over the solicitors’ letter, more depressed than she thought necessary. There was no more to do in the house, and he spent whole days in the loggia leaning over the parapet or sitting astride it disconsolately.
Gino became really depressed after getting the lawyers’ letter, more than she thought was reasonable. There was nothing else to do in the house, and he spent whole days in the loggia, leaning over the railing or sitting on it in despair.
“Oh, you idle boy!” she cried, pinching his muscles. “Go and play pallone.”
“Oh, you lazy boy!” she exclaimed, pinching his muscles. “Go and play pallone.”
“I am a married man,” he answered, without raising his head. “I do not play games any more.”
“I’m a married man,” he replied, without looking up. “I don’t play games anymore.”
“Go and see your friends then.”
“Go hang out with your friends then.”
“I have no friends now.”
“I don’t have any friends now.”
“Silly, silly, silly! You can’t stop indoors all day!”
“Silly, silly, silly! You can’t stay inside all day!”
“I want to see no one but you.” He spat on to an olive-tree.
“I want to see no one but you.” He spit on an olive tree.
“Now, Gino, don’t be silly. Go and see your friends, and bring them to see me. We both of us like society.”
“Now, Gino, don’t be silly. Go hang out with your friends and bring them to see me. We both enjoy company.”
He looked puzzled, but allowed himself to be persuaded, went out, found that he was not as friendless as he supposed, and returned after several hours in altered spirits. Lilia congratulated herself on her good management.
He looked confused but let himself be convinced, went out, discovered that he wasn't as alone as he thought, and came back after several hours in a better mood. Lilia felt proud of her good handling of the situation.
“I’m ready, too, for people now,” she said. “I mean to wake you all up, just as I woke up Sawston. Let’s have plenty of men—and make them bring their womenkind. I mean to have real English tea-parties.”
“I’m ready for people now, too,” she said. “I want to wake you all up, just like I woke up Sawston. Let’s invite plenty of men—and let them bring their partners. I want to have real English tea parties.”
“There is my aunt and her husband; but I thought you did not want to receive my relatives.”
“There’s my aunt and her husband, but I thought you didn’t want to meet my family.”
“I never said such a—”
"I never said that—"
“But you would be right,” he said earnestly. “They are not for you. Many of them are in trade, and even we are little more; you should have gentlefolk and nobility for your friends.”
“But you would be right,” he said sincerely. “They’re not suited for you. A lot of them are in trades, and even we are not much better; you should have people of higher status and nobility as your friends.”
“Poor fellow,” thought Lilia. “It is sad for him to discover that his people are vulgar.” She began to tell him that she loved him just for his silly self, and he flushed and began tugging at his moustache.
“Poor guy,” thought Lilia. “It’s unfortunate for him to realize that his people are crass.” She started to tell him that she loved him just for being his goofy self, and he blushed and began fiddling with his mustache.
“But besides your relatives I must have other people here. Your friends have wives and sisters, haven’t they?”
“But besides your relatives, I need to have other people here. Your friends have wives and sisters, right?”
“Oh, yes; but of course I scarcely know them.”
“Oh, yes; but of course I hardly know them.”
“Not know your friends’ people?”
“Don’t know your friends’ people?”
“Why, no. If they are poor and have to work for their living I may see them—but not otherwise. Except—” He stopped. The chief exception was a young lady, to whom he had once been introduced for matrimonial purposes. But the dowry had proved inadequate, and the acquaintance terminated.
“Why, no. If they're poor and have to work for a living, I might see them—but not otherwise. Except—” He paused. The main exception was a young woman he had once met for marriage purposes. But the dowry turned out to be insufficient, and their connection ended.
“How funny! But I mean to change all that. Bring your friends to see me, and I will make them bring their people.”
“How funny! But I plan to change all that. Bring your friends to see me, and I’ll get them to bring their people.”
He looked at her rather hopelessly.
He looked at her with a sense of hopelessness.
“Well, who are the principal people here? Who leads society?”
“Well, who are the main people here? Who runs society?”
The governor of the prison, he supposed, and the officers who assisted him.
The prison governor, he assumed, along with the officers who helped him.
“Well, are they married?”
"Are they married?"
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“There we are. Do you know them?”
“There we are. Do you know them?”
“Yes—in a way.”
"Yeah—in a way."
“I see,” she exclaimed angrily. “They look down on you, do they, poor boy? Wait!” He assented. “Wait! I’ll soon stop that. Now, who else is there?”
“I see,” she shouted angrily. “They look down on you, don’t they, poor boy? Wait!” He agreed. “Wait! I’ll put an end to that. Now, who else is there?”
“The marchese, sometimes, and the canons of the Collegiate Church.”
“The marquis, sometimes, and the canons of the Collegiate Church.”
“Married?”
"Are you married?"
“The canons—” he began with twinkling eyes.
"The canons—" he started with sparkling eyes.
“Oh, I forgot your horrid celibacy. In England they would be the centre of everything. But why shouldn’t I know them? Would it make it easier if I called all round? Isn’t that your foreign way?”
“Oh, I forgot about your awful celibacy. In England, they would be the center of everything. But why shouldn’t I know them? Would it help if I called everyone? Isn’t that your foreign way?”
He did not think it would make it easier.
He didn’t think it would make things easier.
“But I must know some one! Who were the men you were talking to this afternoon?”
“But I have to know someone! Who were the guys you were talking to this afternoon?”
Low-class men. He could scarcely recollect their names.
Low-class guys. He could hardly remember their names.
“But, Gino dear, if they’re low class, why did you talk to them? Don’t you care about your position?”
“But, Gino, if they're low class, why did you talk to them? Don’t you care about your reputation?”
All Gino cared about at present was idleness and pocket-money, and his way of expressing it was to exclaim, “Ouf-pouf! How hot it is in here. No air; I sweat all over. I expire. I must cool myself, or I shall never get to sleep.” In his funny abrupt way he ran out on to the loggia, where he lay full length on the parapet, and began to smoke and spit under the silence of the stars.
All Gino cared about right now was doing nothing and having some cash, and he expressed it by exclaiming, “Ugh! It’s so hot in here. No air; I’m sweating everywhere. I’m dying. I need to cool off, or I’ll never sleep.” In his quirky, sudden way, he dashed out to the balcony, where he lay flat on the ledge and started to smoke and spit under the quiet stars.
Lilia gathered somehow from this conversation that Continental society was not the go-as-you-please thing she had expected. Indeed she could not see where Continental society was. Italy is such a delightful place to live in if you happen to be a man. There one may enjoy that exquisite luxury of Socialism—that true Socialism which is based not on equality of income or character, but on the equality of manners. In the democracy of the caffe or the street the great question of our life has been solved, and the brotherhood of man is a reality. But is accomplished at the expense of the sisterhood of women. Why should you not make friends with your neighbour at the theatre or in the train, when you know and he knows that feminine criticism and feminine insight and feminine prejudice will never come between you? Though you become as David and Jonathan, you need never enter his home, nor he yours. All your lives you will meet under the open air, the only roof-tree of the South, under which he will spit and swear, and you will drop your h’s, and nobody will think the worse of either.
Lilia somehow gathered from this conversation that Continental society wasn’t the free-for-all she had expected. In fact, she couldn't figure out where Continental society really was. Italy is such a wonderful place to live if you're a man. There, you can enjoy that incredible luxury of Socialism—true Socialism, which isn’t based on equal income or character, but on equal manners. In the democracy of the café or the street, the big question of our lives has been solved, and the brotherhood of man is a reality. But this comes at the expense of the sisterhood of women. Why shouldn't you make friends with your neighbor at the theater or on the train, when you both know that feminine criticism, insight, and prejudice will never get in the way? Even if you become as close as David and Jonathan, you will never need to enter each other's homes. Throughout your lives, you'll meet outdoors, under the only roof of the South, where he will spit and swear, and you'll drop your h’s, and no one will think any less of either of you.
Meanwhile the women—they have, of course, their house and their church, with its admirable and frequent services, to which they are escorted by the maid. Otherwise they do not go out much, for it is not genteel to walk, and you are too poor to keep a carriage. Occasionally you will take them to the caffe or theatre, and immediately all your wonted acquaintance there desert you, except those few who are expecting and expected to marry into your family. It is all very sad. But one consolation emerges—life is very pleasant in Italy if you are a man.
Meanwhile, the women have their home and their church, with its frequent and impressive services, which they attend with the maid's help. Otherwise, they don’t go out much since it's not proper to walk, and you can't afford a carriage. Occasionally, you'll take them to the café or the theater, and right away, all your usual acquaintances abandon you, except for a few who are hoping to marry into your family. It’s all quite sad. But one silver lining is that life is very enjoyable in Italy if you're a man.
Hitherto Gino had not interfered with Lilia. She was so much older than he was, and so much richer, that he regarded her as a superior being who answered to other laws. He was not wholly surprised, for strange rumours were always blowing over the Alps of lands where men and women had the same amusements and interests, and he had often met that privileged maniac, the lady tourist, on her solitary walks. Lilia took solitary walks too, and only that week a tramp had grabbed at her watch—an episode which is supposed to be indigenous in Italy, though really less frequent there than in Bond Street. Now that he knew her better, he was inevitably losing his awe: no one could live with her and keep it, especially when she had been so silly as to lose a gold watch and chain. As he lay thoughtful along the parapet, he realized for the first time the responsibilities of monied life. He must save her from dangers, physical and social, for after all she was a woman. “And I,” he reflected, “though I am young, am at all events a man, and know what is right.”
Until now, Gino hadn't interfered with Lilia. She was much older and wealthier than he was, leading him to see her as a superior being who followed different rules. He wasn't completely surprised, as strange rumors always floated over the Alps about places where men and women enjoyed the same activities and had similar interests. He had often encountered that privileged oddity, the lady tourist, on her solitary walks. Lilia took solitary walks too, and just that week, a vagrant had tried to grab her watch—an incident often thought to be common in Italy, though it actually happened less frequently there than on Bond Street. Now that he knew her better, he was inevitably losing his reverence; no one could spend time with her and maintain it, especially when she had been foolish enough to lose a gold watch and chain. As he lay contemplatively along the parapet, he realized for the first time the responsibilities that come with wealth. He needed to protect her from both physical and social dangers because, after all, she was a woman. “And I,” he thought, “even though I’m young, am still a man and know what’s right.”
He found her still in the living-room, combing her hair, for she had something of the slattern in her nature, and there was no need to keep up appearances.
He found her still in the living room, brushing her hair, since she had a bit of a messy side to her personality, and there was no need to put on a front.
“You must not go out alone,” he said gently. “It is not safe. If you want to walk, Perfetta shall accompany you.” Perfetta was a widowed cousin, too humble for social aspirations, who was living with them as factotum.
“You shouldn't go out by yourself,” he said softly. “It's not safe. If you want to walk, Perfetta can go with you.” Perfetta was a widowed cousin, too modest for social ambitions, who was living with them as a housekeeper.
“Very well,” smiled Lilia, “very well”—as if she were addressing a solicitous kitten. But for all that she never took a solitary walk again, with one exception, till the day of her death.
“Alright,” smiled Lilia, “alright”—as if she were talking to a concerned kitten. But despite that, she never went for a solo walk again, with one exception, until the day she died.
Days passed, and no one called except poor relatives. She began to feel dull. Didn’t he know the Sindaco or the bank manager? Even the landlady of the Stella d’Italia would be better than no one. She, when she went into the town, was pleasantly received; but people naturally found a difficulty in getting on with a lady who could not learn their language. And the tea-party, under Gino’s adroit management, receded ever and ever before her.
Days went by, and the only calls she received were from distant relatives. She started to feel really bored. Didn't he know the mayor or the bank manager? Even the landlady of the Stella d’Italia would be better than being completely alone. When she went into town, she was welcomed, but it was hard for people to connect with a woman who couldn’t speak their language. And the tea party, skillfully organized by Gino, kept slipping further and further away from her.
He had a good deal of anxiety over her welfare, for she did not settle down in the house at all. But he was comforted by a welcome and unexpected visitor. As he was going one afternoon for the letters—they were delivered at the door, but it took longer to get them at the office—some one humorously threw a cloak over his head, and when he disengaged himself he saw his very dear friend Spiridione Tesi of the custom-house at Chiasso, whom he had not met for two years. What joy! what salutations! so that all the passersby smiled with approval on the amiable scene. Spiridione’s brother was now station-master at Bologna, and thus he himself could spend his holiday travelling over Italy at the public expense. Hearing of Gino’s marriage, he had come to see him on his way to Siena, where lived his own uncle, lately monied too.
He was pretty anxious about her well-being since she wasn't settling into the house at all. But he was cheered up by a nice surprise visitor. One afternoon, as he was heading out to get the mail—since it took longer to pick it up at the office—someone playfully threw a cloak over his head. When he managed to free himself, he saw his very good friend Spiridione Tesi from the customs office in Chiasso, whom he hadn't seen in two years. What a joy! What greetings! Even the people walking by smiled at the friendly scene. Spiridione's brother was now the station master in Bologna, so he could spend his holiday traveling around Italy at the public's expense. Hearing about Gino's marriage, he had come to visit him on his way to Siena, where his own uncle, who had recently come into some money, lived.
“They all do it,” he exclaimed, “myself excepted.” He was not quite twenty-three. “But tell me more. She is English. That is good, very good. An English wife is very good indeed. And she is rich?”
“They all do it,” he said, “except me.” He wasn't quite twenty-three. “But tell me more. She’s English. That’s good, really good. An English wife is definitely a plus. And is she wealthy?”
“Immensely rich.”
“Super wealthy.”
“Blonde or dark?”
"Blonde or brunette?"
“Blonde.”
“Blond.”
“Is it possible!”
"Is it possible?!"
“It pleases me very much,” said Gino simply. “If you remember, I always desired a blonde.” Three or four men had collected, and were listening.
“It makes me really happy,” Gino said simply. “If you remember, I’ve always wanted a blonde.” Three or four men had gathered and were listening.
“We all desire one,” said Spiridione. “But you, Gino, deserve your good fortune, for you are a good son, a brave man, and a true friend, and from the very first moment I saw you I wished you well.”
“We all want one,” said Spiridione. “But you, Gino, deserve your good luck, because you’re a good son, a brave man, and a true friend, and from the very first moment I met you, I hoped for the best for you.”
“No compliments, I beg,” said Gino, standing with his hands crossed on his chest and a smile of pleasure on his face.
“No compliments, please,” Gino said, standing with his arms crossed over his chest and a pleased smile on his face.
Spiridione addressed the other men, none of whom he had ever seen before. “Is it not true? Does not he deserve this wealthy blonde?”
Spiridione spoke to the other men, none of whom he had ever met before. “Isn’t it true? Doesn’t he deserve this rich blonde?”
“He does deserve her,” said all the men.
"He's definitely good enough for her," said all the guys.
It is a marvellous land, where you love it or hate it.
It’s a wonderful place; you either love it or hate it.
There were no letters, and of course they sat down at the Caffe Garibaldi, by the Collegiate Church—quite a good caffe that for so small a city. There were marble-topped tables, and pillars terra-cotta below and gold above, and on the ceiling was a fresco of the battle of Solferino. One could not have desired a prettier room. They had vermouth and little cakes with sugar on the top, which they chose gravely at the counter, pinching them first to be sure they were fresh. And though vermouth is barely alcoholic, Spiridione drenched his with soda-water to be sure that it should not get into his head.
There were no letters, and they naturally settled down at Caffe Garibaldi, right by the Collegiate Church—a pretty nice café for such a small city. There were tables with marble tops and terracotta pillars below and gold accents above, with a fresco of the battle of Solferino on the ceiling. It was hard to imagine a more beautiful room. They ordered vermouth and small cakes topped with sugar, choosing them seriously at the counter and pinching them first to make sure they were fresh. And even though vermouth has very little alcohol, Spiridione mixed his with soda water to ensure it wouldn’t go to his head.
They were in high spirits, and elaborate compliments alternated curiously with gentle horseplay. But soon they put up their legs on a pair of chairs and began to smoke.
They were in great moods, and fancy compliments mixed playfully with light teasing. But soon they propped their legs up on a couple of chairs and started smoking.
“Tell me,” said Spiridione—“I forgot to ask—is she young?”
“Tell me,” said Spiridione—“I forgot to ask—is she young?”
“Thirty-three.”
"33."
“Ah, well, we cannot have everything.”
“Ah, well, we can’t have it all.”
“But you would be surprised. Had she told me twenty-eight, I should not have disbelieved her.”
"But you'd be surprised. If she had told me twenty-eight, I wouldn't have doubted her."
“Is she SIMPATICA?” (Nothing will translate that word.)
“Is she nice?” (Nothing will translate that word.)
Gino dabbed at the sugar and said after a silence, “Sufficiently so.”
Gino tapped the sugar and, after a pause, said, “Yeah, that works.”
“It is a most important thing.”
“It is a very important thing.”
“She is rich, she is generous, she is affable, she addresses her inferiors without haughtiness.”
“She’s wealthy, she’s generous, she’s friendly, and she treats those less fortunate than herself with humility.”
There was another silence. “It is not sufficient,” said the other. “One does not define it thus.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Last month a German was smuggling cigars. The custom-house was dark. Yet I refused because I did not like him. The gifts of such men do not bring happiness. NON ERA SIMPATICO. He paid for every one, and the fine for deception besides.”
There was another silence. “That's not enough,” said the other. “You can't define it like that.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Last month, a German was smuggling cigars. The customs house was dark. But I refused because I didn't like him. The gifts from people like that don’t bring happiness. HE WASN'T NICE. He paid for every one, plus the fine for deception.”
“Do you gain much beyond your pay?” asked Gino, diverted for an instant.
“Do you get much more than your salary?” asked Gino, momentarily distracted.
“I do not accept small sums now. It is not worth the risk. But the German was another matter. But listen, my Gino, for I am older than you and more full of experience. The person who understands us at first sight, who never irritates us, who never bores, to whom we can pour forth every thought and wish, not only in speech but in silence—that is what I mean by SIMPATICO.”
“I don’t accept small amounts anymore. It’s not worth the risk. But the German was different. Listen, my Gino, I’m older than you and have more experience. The person who gets us right away, who never annoys us, who never bores us, to whom we can share every thought and wish, not just in words but in silence—that’s what I mean by SIMPATICO.”
“There are such men, I know,” said Gino. “And I have heard it said of children. But where will you find such a woman?”
“There are definitely men like that, I know,” said Gino. “And I’ve heard it said about children. But where will you find a woman like that?”
“That is true. Here you are wiser than I. SONO POCO SIMPATICHE LE DONNE. And the time we waste over them is much.” He sighed dolefully, as if he found the nobility of his sex a burden.
"That's true. You're wiser than me in this regard. WOMEN ARE A BIT UNPLEASANT. And the time we spend on them is a lot." He sighed sadly, as if he thought the dignity of being a man was a burden.
“One I have seen who may be so. She spoke very little, but she was a young lady—different to most. She, too, was English, the companion of my wife here. But Fra Filippo, the brother-in-law, took her back with him. I saw them start. He was very angry.”
“One person I’ve seen who might fit that description was a young lady—different from most. She also was English, the companion of my wife here. But Fra Filippo, my brother-in-law, took her back with him. I watched them leave. He was really angry.”
Then he spoke of his exciting and secret marriage, and they made fun of the unfortunate Philip, who had travelled over Europe to stop it.
Then he talked about his thrilling and secret marriage, and they teased the poor Philip, who had traveled all over Europe to prevent it.
“I regret though,” said Gino, when they had finished laughing, “that I toppled him on to the bed. A great tall man! And when I am really amused I am often impolite.”
“I regret, though,” said Gino, when they had finished laughing, “that I knocked him onto the bed. A really tall guy! And when I’m truly amused, I can be pretty rude.”
“You will never see him again,” said Spiridione, who carried plenty of philosophy about him. “And by now the scene will have passed from his mind.”
“You won’t see him again,” said Spiridione, who had a lot of wisdom. “And by now, that moment will have faded from his memory.”
“It sometimes happens that such things are recollected longest. I shall never see him again, of course; but it is no benefit to me that he should wish me ill. And even if he has forgotten, I am still sorry that I toppled him on to the bed.”
“It sometimes happens that certain things are remembered the longest. I know I’ll never see him again, of course, but it doesn’t help me for him to wish me harm. And even if he has forgotten, I still feel bad about how I pushed him onto the bed.”
So their talk continued, at one moment full of childishness and tender wisdom, the next moment scandalously gross. The shadows of the terra-cotta pillars lengthened, and tourists, flying through the Palazzo Pubblico opposite, could observe how the Italians wasted time.
So their conversation went on, sometimes filled with childishness and sweet wisdom, other times shockingly crude. The shadows of the terracotta pillars grew longer, and tourists passing through the Palazzo Pubblico across the way could see how the Italians spent their time.
The sight of tourists reminded Gino of something he might say. “I want to consult you since you are so kind as to take an interest in my affairs. My wife wishes to take solitary walks.”
The sight of tourists reminded Gino of something he might say. “I want to talk to you since you’re kind enough to care about my matters. My wife wants to go for walks alone.”
Spiridione was shocked.
Spiridione was stunned.
“But I have forbidden her.”
“But I told her not to.”
“Naturally.”
"Of course."
“She does not yet understand. She asked me to accompany her sometimes—to walk without object! You know, she would like me to be with her all day.”
“She doesn’t get it yet. She asked me to join her sometimes—to walk around for no reason! You know, she wants me to be with her all day.”
“I see. I see.” He knitted his brows and tried to think how he could help his friend. “She needs employment. Is she a Catholic?”
“I understand. I understand.” He frowned and thought about how he could assist his friend. “She needs a job. Is she a Catholic?”
“No.”
“No.”
“That is a pity. She must be persuaded. It will be a great solace to her when she is alone.”
“That’s too bad. She needs to be convinced. It will really comfort her when she’s by herself.”
“I am a Catholic, but of course I never go to church.”
“I’m a Catholic, but I never actually go to church.”
“Of course not. Still, you might take her at first. That is what my brother has done with his wife at Bologna and he has joined the Free Thinkers. He took her once or twice himself, and now she has acquired the habit and continues to go without him.”
"Of course not. Still, you might take her out at first. That's what my brother did with his wife in Bologna, and he has joined the Free Thinkers. He took her out once or twice himself, and now she has gotten into the habit and keeps going without him."
“Most excellent advice, and I thank you for it. But she wishes to give tea-parties—men and women together whom she has never seen.”
“That's great advice, and I really appreciate it. But she wants to have tea parties with men and women she’s never met.”
“Oh, the English! they are always thinking of tea. They carry it by the kilogramme in their trunks, and they are so clumsy that they always pack it at the top. But it is absurd!”
“Oh, the English! They’re always thinking about tea. They carry it by the kilogram in their bags, and they’re so clumsy that they always pack it on top. But it’s ridiculous!”
“What am I to do about it?”
“What should I do about it?”
“Do nothing. Or ask me!”
"Do nothing. Or reach out!"
“Come!” cried Gino, springing up. “She will be quite pleased.”
“Come on!” Gino shouted, jumping up. “She’s going to be really happy.”
The dashing young fellow coloured crimson. “Of course I was only joking.”
The charming young guy turned red. “I was just kidding, of course.”
“I know. But she wants me to take my friends. Come now! Waiter!”
“I know. But she wants me to bring my friends. Come on! Waiter!”
“If I do come,” cried the other, “and take tea with you, this bill must be my affair.”
“If I do come,” the other shouted, “and have tea with you, this bill has to be my responsibility.”
“Certainly not; you are in my country!”
“Definitely not; you’re in my country!”
A long argument ensued, in which the waiter took part, suggesting various solutions. At last Gino triumphed. The bill came to eightpence-halfpenny, and a halfpenny for the waiter brought it up to ninepence. Then there was a shower of gratitude on one side and of deprecation on the other, and when courtesies were at their height they suddenly linked arms and swung down the street, tickling each other with lemonade straws as they went.
A long debate followed, during which the waiter joined in, proposing different solutions. Eventually, Gino came out on top. The total bill was eight pence halfpenny, and a halfpenny for the waiter brought it up to nine pence. Then there was a flurry of thanks on one side and modesty on the other, and when the polite exchanges peaked, they suddenly linked arms and strolled down the street, playfully tickling each other with lemonade straws as they went.
Lilia was delighted to see them, and became more animated than Gino had known her for a long time. The tea tasted of chopped hay, and they asked to be allowed to drink it out of a wine-glass, and refused milk; but, as she repeatedly observed, this was something like. Spiridione’s manners were very agreeable. He kissed her hand on introduction, and as his profession had taught him a little English, conversation did not flag.
Lilia was thrilled to see them and was more lively than Gino had seen her in a long time. The tea tasted like chopped hay, and they asked if they could drink it from a wine glass and refused milk; but, as she kept mentioning, this was more appealing. Spiridione had very nice manners. He kissed her hand when they were introduced, and since his job had taught him some English, the conversation flowed easily.
“Do you like music?” she asked.
“Do you like music?” she asked.
“Passionately,” he replied. “I have not studied scientific music, but the music of the heart, yes.”
“Passionately,” he replied. “I haven't studied scientific music, but I know the music of the heart, yes.”
So she played on the humming piano very badly, and he sang, not so badly. Gino got out a guitar and sang too, sitting out on the loggia. It was a most agreeable visit.
So she played the humming piano very poorly, while he sang, not too badly. Gino took out a guitar and sang as well, sitting out on the loggia. It was a really enjoyable visit.
Gino said he would just walk his friend back to his lodgings. As they went he said, without the least trace of malice or satire in his voice, “I think you are quite right. I shall not bring people to the house any more. I do not see why an English wife should be treated differently. This is Italy.”
Gino said he would just walk his friend back to his place. As they walked, he said, with no hint of malice or sarcasm in his voice, “I think you’re absolutely right. I won’t bring anyone to the house anymore. I don’t see why an English wife should be treated any differently. This is Italy.”
“You are very wise,” exclaimed the other; “very wise indeed. The more precious a possession the more carefully it should be guarded.”
“You're really wise,” the other exclaimed; “truly wise. The more valuable a possession is, the more it should be protected.”
They had reached the lodging, but went on as far as the Caffe Garibaldi, where they spent a long and most delightful evening.
They had arrived at the hotel, but continued on to Caffe Garibaldi, where they enjoyed a long and truly delightful evening.
Chapter 4
The advance of regret can be so gradual that it is impossible to say “yesterday I was happy, today I am not.” At no one moment did Lilia realize that her marriage was a failure; yet during the summer and autumn she became as unhappy as it was possible for her nature to be. She had no unkind treatment, and few unkind words, from her husband. He simply left her alone. In the morning he went out to do “business,” which, as far as she could discover, meant sitting in the Farmacia. He usually returned to lunch, after which he retired to another room and slept. In the evening he grew vigorous again, and took the air on the ramparts, often having his dinner out, and seldom returning till midnight or later. There were, of course, the times when he was away altogether—at Empoli, Siena, Florence, Bologna—for he delighted in travel, and seemed to pick up friends all over the country. Lilia often heard what a favorite he was.
The slow creep of regret can be so subtle that it's hard to pinpoint the moment it shifts from “I was happy yesterday” to “I’m not happy today.” Lilia never recognized that her marriage was a failure; yet throughout the summer and autumn, she became as unhappy as she could possibly be. Her husband didn't treat her poorly, nor did he say many harsh words. He simply left her to herself. In the mornings, he went out to handle “business," which, from what she could tell, involved sitting in the pharmacy. He usually came back for lunch, then retreated to another room to nap. By evening, he was lively again, taking walks on the ramparts, often having dinner out, and rarely coming back until midnight or later. There were also times when he was away completely—traveling to Empoli, Siena, Florence, Bologna—because he loved to travel and seemed to make friends everywhere he went. Lilia often heard how much others enjoyed his company.
She began to see that she must assert herself, but she could not see how. Her self-confidence, which had overthrown Philip, had gradually oozed away. If she left the strange house there was the strange little town. If she were to disobey her husband and walk in the country, that would be stranger still—vast slopes of olives and vineyards, with chalk-white farms, and in the distance other slopes, with more olives and more farms, and more little towns outlined against the cloudless sky. “I don’t call this country,” she would say. “Why, it’s not as wild as Sawston Park!” And, indeed, there was scarcely a touch of wildness in it—some of those slopes had been under cultivation for two thousand years. But it was terrible and mysterious all the same, and its continued presence made Lilia so uncomfortable that she forgot her nature and began to reflect.
She started to realize that she needed to stand up for herself, but she didn’t know how. Her self-confidence, which had once helped her stand up to Philip, had slowly faded away. If she left the strange house, there was still the strange little town. If she disobeyed her husband and walked in the countryside, that would feel even weirder—endless slopes of olive trees and vineyards, with bright white farms, and in the distance, more slopes with even more olives, more farms, and more little towns against the clear blue sky. “I wouldn’t call this countryside,” she would say. “It’s not even as wild as Sawston Park!” And really, there was hardly anything wild about it—some of those slopes had been farmed for two thousand years. But it was still daunting and mysterious, and its constant presence made Lilia so uneasy that she forgot her instincts and started to think.
She reflected chiefly about her marriage. The ceremony had been hasty and expensive, and the rites, whatever they were, were not those of the Church of England. Lilia had no religion in her; but for hours at a time she would be seized with a vulgar fear that she was not “married properly,” and that her social position in the next world might be as obscure as it was in this. It might be safer to do the thing thoroughly, and one day she took the advice of Spiridione and joined the Roman Catholic Church, or as she called it, “Santa Deodata’s.” Gino approved; he, too, thought it safer, and it was fun confessing, though the priest was a stupid old man, and the whole thing was a good slap in the face for the people at home.
She mostly thought about her marriage. The ceremony had been rushed and expensive, and whatever rituals took place, they weren’t those of the Church of England. Lilia had no real faith, but for hours she would be overwhelmed by a nagging fear that she wasn’t “properly married” and that her social standing in the afterlife might be as uncertain as it was in this one. It felt safer to do things right, so one day she took Spiridione’s advice and joined the Roman Catholic Church, which she referred to as “Santa Deodata’s.” Gino approved; he thought it was safer too, and confessing was fun, even though the priest was a dull old man, and the whole thing was a nice way to jolt the folks back home.
The people at home took the slap very soberly; indeed, there were few left for her to give it to. The Herritons were out of the question; they would not even let her write to Irma, though Irma was occasionally allowed to write to her. Mrs. Theobald was rapidly subsiding into dotage, and, as far as she could be definite about anything, had definitely sided with the Herritons. And Miss Abbott did likewise. Night after night did Lilia curse this false friend, who had agreed with her that the marriage would “do,” and that the Herritons would come round to it, and then, at the first hint of opposition, had fled back to England shrieking and distraught. Miss Abbott headed the long list of those who should never be written to, and who should never be forgiven. Almost the only person who was not on that list was Mr. Kingcroft, who had unexpectedly sent an affectionate and inquiring letter. He was quite sure never to cross the Channel, and Lilia drew freely on her fancy in the reply.
The people back home took the slap very seriously; in fact, there were hardly any left for her to give it to. The Herritons were not an option; they wouldn't even let her write to Irma, although Irma was occasionally allowed to write to her. Mrs. Theobald was quickly losing her mind and, as far as she could be clear about anything, had definitely sided with the Herritons. Miss Abbott did the same. Night after night, Lilia cursed this false friend, who had agreed with her that the marriage would “work” and that the Herritons would eventually come around, only to flee back to England in a panic at the first sign of opposition. Miss Abbott was at the top of the long list of people who should never be contacted or forgiven. Almost the only person not on that list was Mr. Kingcroft, who had unexpectedly sent a caring and curious letter. He was never planning to cross the Channel, and Lilia let her imagination run wild in her reply.
At first she had seen a few English people, for Monteriano was not the end of the earth. One or two inquisitive ladies, who had heard at home of her quarrel with the Herritons, came to call. She was very sprightly, and they thought her quite unconventional, and Gino a charming boy, so all that was to the good. But by May the season, such as it was, had finished, and there would be no one till next spring. As Mrs. Herriton had often observed, Lilia had no resources. She did not like music, or reading, or work. Her one qualification for life was rather blowsy high spirits, which turned querulous or boisterous according to circumstances. She was not obedient, but she was cowardly, and in the most gentle way, which Mrs. Herriton might have envied, Gino made her do what he wanted. At first it had been rather fun to let him get the upper hand. But it was galling to discover that he could not do otherwise. He had a good strong will when he chose to use it, and would not have had the least scruple in using bolts and locks to put it into effect. There was plenty of brutality deep down in him, and one day Lilia nearly touched it.
At first, she met a few English people since Monteriano wasn't exactly the edge of the world. A couple of curious ladies, who had heard about her argument with the Herritons back home, came to visit. She was very lively, and they found her quite unconventional, and Gino was a charming boy, which was all positive. But by May, the season, whatever it was, had ended, and there wouldn't be anyone around until next spring. As Mrs. Herriton often pointed out, Lilia had no hobbies. She didn't like music, reading, or working. Her only asset in life was her somewhat tipsy high spirits, which would shift to being whiny or exuberant, depending on the situation. She wasn’t obedient, but she was a bit spineless, and in a gentle way that Mrs. Herriton might have envied, Gino managed to get her to do what he wanted. At first, it was somewhat enjoyable to let him take charge. But it was frustrating to realize that he couldn’t act any other way. He had a strong will when he decided to use it and wouldn't hesitate to use locks and bolts to enforce his way. There was a lot of underlying brutality in him, and one day Lilia almost tapped into it.
It was the old question of going out alone.
It was the age-old question of going out alone.
“I always do it in England.”
“I always do it in England.”
“This is Italy.”
"This is Italy."
“Yes, but I’m older than you, and I’ll settle.”
“Yeah, but I'm older than you, and I'll accept it.”
“I am your husband,” he said, smiling. They had finished their mid-day meal, and he wanted to go and sleep. Nothing would rouse him up, until at last Lilia, getting more and more angry, said, “And I’ve got the money.”
“I am your husband,” he said, smiling. They had finished their lunch, and he wanted to go and sleep. Nothing would wake him up, until finally Lilia, getting more and more angry, said, “And I’ve got the money.”
He looked horrified.
He looked shocked.
Now was the moment to assert herself. She made the statement again. He got up from his chair.
Now was the time to stand her ground. She repeated her point. He stood up from his chair.
“And you’d better mend your manners,” she continued, “for you’d find it awkward if I stopped drawing cheques.”
“And you’d better fix your manners,” she continued, “because it would be uncomfortable for you if I stopped writing checks.”
She was no reader of character, but she quickly became alarmed. As she said to Perfetta afterwards, “None of his clothes seemed to fit—too big in one place, too small in another.” His figure rather than his face altered, the shoulders falling forward till his coat wrinkled across the back and pulled away from his wrists. He seemed all arms. He edged round the table to where she was sitting, and she sprang away and held the chair between them, too frightened to speak or to move. He looked at her with round, expressionless eyes, and slowly stretched out his left hand.
She wasn't good at reading people, but she quickly felt uneasy. Later, she told Perfetta, “None of his clothes fit right—too big in some places, too small in others.” His body had changed more than his face; his shoulders slumped forward, causing his coat to wrinkle across his back and pull away from his wrists. He looked all arms. He moved around the table toward her, and she jumped back, holding the chair between them, too scared to say anything or move. He stared at her with wide, blank eyes and slowly extended his left hand.
Perfetta was heard coming up from the kitchen. It seemed to wake him up, and he turned away and went to his room without a word.
Perfetta was heard coming up from the kitchen. It seemed to wake him up, and he turned away and went to his room without saying a word.
“What has happened?” cried Lilia, nearly fainting. “He is ill—ill.”
“What’s going on?” Lilia exclaimed, almost fainting. “He’s sick—sick.”
Perfetta looked suspicious when she heard the account. “What did you say to him?” She crossed herself.
Perfetta looked doubtful when she heard the story. “What did you say to him?” She crossed herself.
“Hardly anything,” said Lilia and crossed herself also. Thus did the two women pay homage to their outraged male.
“Hardly anything,” said Lilia as she crossed herself too. In this way, the two women showed respect to their upset man.
It was clear to Lilia at last that Gino had married her for money. But he had frightened her too much to leave any place for contempt. His return was terrifying, for he was frightened too, imploring her pardon, lying at her feet, embracing her, murmuring “It was not I,” striving to define things which he did not understand. He stopped in the house for three days, positively ill with physical collapse. But for all his suffering he had tamed her, and she never threatened to cut off supplies again.
It finally dawned on Lilia that Gino had married her for her money. But he had scared her too much to leave room for any contempt. His return was frightening because he was scared too, begging for her forgiveness, lying at her feet, holding her close, whispering “It wasn’t me,” trying to explain things he didn’t get. He stayed in the house for three days, clearly ill from exhaustion. But despite all his suffering, he had tamed her, and she never threatened to cut off his money again.
Perhaps he kept her even closer than convention demanded. But he was very young, and he could not bear it to be said of him that he did not know how to treat a lady—or to manage a wife. And his own social position was uncertain. Even in England a dentist is a troublesome creature, whom careful people find difficult to class. He hovers between the professions and the trades; he may be only a little lower than the doctors, or he may be down among the chemists, or even beneath them. The son of the Italian dentist felt this too. For himself nothing mattered; he made friends with the people he liked, for he was that glorious invariable creature, a man. But his wife should visit nowhere rather than visit wrongly: seclusion was both decent and safe. The social ideals of North and South had had their brief contention, and this time the South had won.
Maybe he kept her even closer than what was typical. But he was very young, and he couldn't stand the idea of being seen as someone who didn’t know how to treat a woman—or handle a wife. His own social status was shaky. Even in England, a dentist is a tricky figure, one that careful people find hard to categorize. He straddles the line between professions and trades; he might be just a bit below doctors, or he could be grouped with chemists, or even seen as below them. The son of the Italian dentist felt this as well. For him, nothing mattered; he made friends with the people he liked because he was, after all, a man. But his wife should avoid visiting anywhere that could be seen as inappropriate: staying out of the social scene was both respectable and safe. The social ideals of the North and South had their brief conflict, and this time the South came out on top.
It would have been well if he had been as strict over his own behaviour as he was over hers. But the incongruity never occurred to him for a moment. His morality was that of the average Latin, and as he was suddenly placed in the position of a gentleman, he did not see why he should not behave as such. Of course, had Lilia been different—had she asserted herself and got a grip on his character—he might possibly—though not probably—have been made a better husband as well as a better man, and at all events he could have adopted the attitude of the Englishman, whose standard is higher even when his practice is the same. But had Lilia been different she might not have married him.
It would have been better if he had been as strict about his own behavior as he was about hers. But he never even considered that inconsistency. His sense of morality was typical of the average Latin, and since he suddenly found himself in the role of a gentleman, he saw no reason not to act like one. Of course, if Lilia had been different—if she had stood up for herself and influenced his character—he might have become a better husband and a better man, and at the very least, he could have taken on the attitude of an Englishman, whose standards are higher even when their actions are the same. But if Lilia had been different, she might not have married him.
The discovery of his infidelity—which she made by accident—destroyed such remnants of self-satisfaction as her life might yet possess. She broke down utterly and sobbed and cried in Perfetta’s arms. Perfetta was kind and even sympathetic, but cautioned her on no account to speak to Gino, who would be furious if he was suspected. And Lilia agreed, partly because she was afraid of him, partly because it was, after all, the best and most dignified thing to do. She had given up everything for him—her daughter, her relatives, her friends, all the little comforts and luxuries of a civilized life—and even if she had the courage to break away, there was no one who would receive her now. The Herritons had been almost malignant in their efforts against her, and all her friends had one by one fallen off. So it was better to live on humbly, trying not to feel, endeavouring by a cheerful demeanour to put things right. “Perhaps,” she thought, “if I have a child he will be different. I know he wants a son.”
The discovery of his infidelity—something she found out by accident—shattered any remaining self-satisfaction in her life. She completely broke down, sobbing in Perfetta’s arms. Perfetta was kind and sympathetic but warned her not to talk to Gino, who would be furious if he sensed she knew. Lilia agreed, partly out of fear, but also because it was the most dignified choice. She had sacrificed everything for him—her daughter, her family, her friends, and all the little comforts of a civil life—and even if she had the guts to leave, there was no one who would take her in now. The Herritons had been almost spiteful in their efforts against her, and all her friends had gradually distanced themselves. So it was better to live quietly, trying not to feel too much, and putting on a cheerful front to make things right. “Maybe,” she thought, “if I have a child, he’ll be different. I know he wants a son.”
Lilia had achieved pathos despite herself, for there are some situations in which vulgarity counts no longer. Not Cordelia nor Imogen more deserves our tears.
Lilia had evoked deep feelings despite her intentions, because there are some situations where crudeness no longer matters. Neither Cordelia nor Imogen deserve our tears more than she does.
She herself cried frequently, making herself look plain and old, which distressed her husband. He was particularly kind to her when he hardly ever saw her, and she accepted his kindness without resentment, even with gratitude, so docile had she become. She did not hate him, even as she had never loved him; with her it was only when she was excited that the semblance of either passion arose. People said she was headstrong, but really her weak brain left her cold.
She often cried, making herself look plain and older, which upset her husband. He was especially nice to her when he barely saw her, and she accepted his kindness without feeling bitter, even with gratitude, so submissive had she become. She didn't hate him, just as she had never loved him; for her, it was only in moments of excitement that any semblance of passion surfaced. People called her stubborn, but really, her weak mind left her feeling indifferent.
Suffering, however, is more independent of temperament, and the wisest of women could hardly have suffered more.
Suffering, however, is less dependent on one's personality, and even the most knowledgeable woman could hardly have endured more.
As for Gino, he was quite as boyish as ever, and carried his iniquities like a feather. A favourite speech of his was, “Ah, one ought to marry! Spiridione is wrong; I must persuade him. Not till marriage does one realize the pleasures and the possibilities of life.” So saying, he would take down his felt hat, strike it in the right place as infallibly as a German strikes his in the wrong place, and leave her.
As for Gino, he was just as boyish as ever and carried his faults lightly. One of his favorite sayings was, “Oh, you really should get married! Spiridione is mistaken; I need to convince him. You don’t fully understand the pleasures and possibilities of life until you’re married.” With that, he would take down his felt hat, adjust it perfectly as a German does it incorrectly, and walk away.
One evening, when he had gone out thus, Lilia could stand it no longer. It was September. Sawston would be just filling up after the summer holidays. People would be running in and out of each other’s houses all along the road. There were bicycle gymkhanas, and on the 30th Mrs. Herriton would be holding the annual bazaar in her garden for the C.M.S. It seemed impossible that such a free, happy life could exist. She walked out on to the loggia. Moonlight and stars in a soft purple sky. The walls of Monteriano should be glorious on such a night as this. But the house faced away from them.
One evening, after he had gone out, Lilia could no longer handle it. It was September. Sawston would just be coming alive after the summer holidays. People would be coming and going from each other’s houses all along the road. There would be bike events, and on the 30th, Mrs. Herriton would be hosting the annual bazaar in her garden for the C.M.S. It seemed impossible that such a free, happy life could exist. She stepped out onto the loggia. Moonlight and stars lit up a soft purple sky. The walls of Monteriano should look stunning on a night like this. But the house faced away from them.
Perfetta was banging in the kitchen, and the stairs down led past the kitchen door. But the stairs up to the attic—the stairs no one ever used—opened out of the living-room, and by unlocking the door at the top one might slip out to the square terrace above the house, and thus for ten minutes walk in freedom and peace.
Perfetta was making a racket in the kitchen, and the stairs down passed by the kitchen door. But the stairs up to the attic—the stairs nobody ever used—were off the living room, and by unlocking the door at the top, you could slip out onto the square terrace above the house, giving you a chance to walk freely and peacefully for ten minutes.
The key was in the pocket of Gino’s best suit—the English check—which he never wore. The stairs creaked and the key-hole screamed; but Perfetta was growing deaf. The walls were beautiful, but as they faced west they were in shadow. To see the light upon them she must walk round the town a little, till they were caught by the beams of the rising moon. She looked anxiously at the house, and started.
The key was in the pocket of Gino’s best suit—the English check—which he never wore. The stairs creaked, and the keyhole screeched; but Perfetta was becoming hard of hearing. The walls were beautiful, but since they faced west, they were in shadow. To see the light on them, she had to walk around the town a bit until they were illuminated by the beams of the rising moon. She glanced nervously at the house and jumped.
It was easy walking, for a little path ran all outside the ramparts. The few people she met wished her a civil good-night, taking her, in her hatless condition, for a peasant. The walls trended round towards the moon; and presently she came into its light, and saw all the rough towers turn into pillars of silver and black, and the ramparts into cliffs of pearl. She had no great sense of beauty, but she was sentimental, and she began to cry; for here, where a great cypress interrupted the monotony of the girdle of olives, she had sat with Gino one afternoon in March, her head upon his shoulder, while Caroline was looking at the view and sketching. Round the corner was the Siena gate, from which the road to England started, and she could hear the rumble of the diligence which was going down to catch the night train to Empoli. The next moment it was upon her, for the highroad came towards her a little before it began its long zigzag down the hill.
It was an easy walk, as a narrow path ran along the outside of the ramparts. The few people she encountered wished her a polite good-night, mistaking her hatless appearance for that of a peasant. The walls curved toward the moon, and soon she stepped into its light, seeing all the rough towers transformed into pillars of silver and black, while the ramparts turned into cliffs of pearl. She didn’t have a strong appreciation for beauty, but she was sentimental, and tears began to fall; for here, where a tall cypress broke the monotony of the olive trees, she had sat with Gino one afternoon in March, her head resting on his shoulder, while Caroline admired the view and sketched. Just around the corner was the Siena gate, which marked the start of the road to England, and she could hear the rumble of the coach heading down to catch the night train to Empoli. In an instant, it was upon her, as the main road approached her slightly before starting its long zigzag down the hill.
The driver slackened, and called to her to get in. He did not know who she was. He hoped she might be coming to the station.
The driver slowed down and called out to her to hop in. He had no idea who she was. He hoped she was heading to the station.
“Non vengo!” she cried.
"I'm not coming!" she cried.
He wished her good-night, and turned his horses down the corner. As the diligence came round she saw that it was empty.
He said good night to her and led his horses around the corner. When the carriage came into view, she noticed it was empty.
“Vengo...”
“I'm coming...”
Her voice was tremulous, and did not carry. The horses swung off.
Her voice was shaky and wasn’t loud enough. The horses moved away.
“Vengo! Vengo!”
"Coming! Coming!"
He had begun to sing, and heard nothing. She ran down the road screaming to him to stop—that she was coming; while the distance grew greater and the noise of the diligence increased. The man’s back was black and square against the moon, and if he would but turn for an instant she would be saved. She tried to cut off the corner of the zigzag, stumbling over the great clods of earth, large and hard as rocks, which lay between the eternal olives. She was too late; for, just before she regained the road, the thing swept past her, thunderous, ploughing up choking clouds of moonlit dust.
He had started to sing, completely unaware. She ran down the road, shouting for him to stop—that she was on her way; as the distance grew wider and the noise of the coach grew louder. The man’s back stood out against the moon, dark and square, and if only he would turn for a moment, she could be saved. She tried to cut the corner of the zigzag path, tripping over the large clumps of dirt, big and hard like rocks, scattered among the enduring olive trees. She was too late; just before she reached the road, the vehicle rushed past her, thundering and kicking up choking clouds of moonlit dust.
She did not call any more, for she felt very ill, and fainted; and when she revived she was lying in the road, with dust in her eyes, and dust in her mouth, and dust down her ears. There is something very terrible in dust at night-time.
She didn’t call anymore because she felt really sick and fainted; when she came to, she was lying in the road, with dust in her eyes, dust in her mouth, and dust in her ears. There’s something really terrifying about dust at night.
“What shall I do?” she moaned. “He will be so angry.”
“What should I do?” she complained. “He’s going to be so mad.”
And without further effort she slowly climbed back to captivity, shaking her garments as she went.
And without any more effort, she slowly climbed back to captivity, shaking her clothes as she went.
Ill luck pursued her to the end. It was one of the nights when Gino happened to come in. He was in the kitchen, swearing and smashing plates, while Perfetta, her apron over her head, was weeping violently. At the sight of Lilia he turned upon her and poured forth a flood of miscellaneous abuse. He was far more angry but much less alarming than he had been that day when he edged after her round the table. And Lilia gained more courage from her bad conscience than she ever had from her good one, for as he spoke she was seized with indignation and feared him no longer, and saw him for a cruel, worthless, hypocritical, dissolute upstart, and spoke in return.
Ill luck followed her to the end. It was one of the nights when Gino happened to come in. He was in the kitchen, cursing and smashing plates, while Perfetta, with her apron over her head, was crying heavily. When he saw Lilia, he turned on her and unleashed a barrage of insults. He was much angrier but less intimidating than he had been that day when he chased her around the table. And Lilia found more courage from her guilt than she ever had from her innocence, because as he spoke, she was filled with indignation and no longer afraid of him. She saw him for the cruel, worthless, hypocritical, dissolute upstart he was, and she shot back at him.
Perfetta screamed for she told him everything—all she knew and all she thought. He stood with open mouth, all the anger gone out of him, feeling ashamed, and an utter fool. He was fairly and rightfully cornered. When had a husband so given himself away before? She finished; and he was dumb, for she had spoken truly. Then, alas! the absurdity of his own position grew upon him, and he laughed—as he would have laughed at the same situation on the stage.
Perfetta screamed because she told him everything—everything she knew and everything she thought. He stood there, mouth open, all his anger gone, feeling ashamed and completely foolish. He was justifiably trapped. When had a husband ever revealed himself like this before? She finished speaking, and he was speechless, for she had spoken the truth. Then, unfortunately, the absurdity of his own situation hit him, and he laughed—as he would have laughed at a similar scene in a play.
“You laugh?” stammered Lilia.
"You think that's funny?" stammered Lilia.
“Ah!” he cried, “who could help it? I, who thought you knew and saw nothing—I am tricked—I am conquered. I give in. Let us talk of it no more.”
“Ah!” he exclaimed, “who could resist it? I, who thought you understood and saw nothing—I’ve been fooled—I’ve been defeated. I surrender. Let’s not discuss it any further.”
He touched her on the shoulder like a good comrade, half amused and half penitent, and then, murmuring and smiling to himself, ran quietly out of the room.
He touched her on the shoulder like a good friend, half amused and half sorry, and then, murmuring and smiling to himself, quietly walked out of the room.
Perfetta burst into congratulations. “What courage you have!” she cried; “and what good fortune! He is angry no longer! He has forgiven you!”
Perfetta burst into congratulations. “You’re so brave!” she exclaimed; “and what incredible luck! He’s not angry anymore! He’s forgiven you!”
Neither Perfetta, nor Gino, nor Lilia herself knew the true reason of all the misery that followed. To the end he thought that kindness and a little attention would be enough to set things straight. His wife was a very ordinary woman, and why should her ideas differ from his own? No one realized that more than personalities were engaged; that the struggle was national; that generations of ancestors, good, bad, or indifferent, forbad the Latin man to be chivalrous to the northern woman, the northern woman to forgive the Latin man. All this might have been foreseen: Mrs. Herriton foresaw it from the first.
Neither Perfetta, Gino, nor Lilia herself understood the real reason for all the misery that followed. Until the end, he believed that kindness and a little attention would be enough to fix things. His wife was just an ordinary woman, so why would her ideas be any different from his? No one recognized that it was more than just personal differences at play; that the struggle was rooted in national identities; that generations of ancestors, whether good, bad, or indifferent, prevented the Latin man from being chivalrous to the northern woman, and the northern woman from forgiving the Latin man. All of this could have been anticipated: Mrs. Herriton saw it from the very beginning.
Meanwhile Lilia prided herself on her high personal standard, and Gino simply wondered why she did not come round. He hated discomfort and yearned for sympathy, but shrank from mentioning his difficulties in the town in case they were put down to his own incompetence. Spiridione was told, and replied in a philosophical but not very helpful letter. His other great friend, whom he trusted more, was still serving in Eritrea or some other desolate outpost. And, besides, what was the good of letters? Friends cannot travel through the post.
Meanwhile, Lilia took pride in her high personal standards, while Gino just wondered why she didn't stop by. He hated feeling uncomfortable and longed for sympathy, but hesitated to bring up his struggles in town for fear they'd be seen as his own fault. Spiridione was informed and responded with a philosophical but not very useful letter. His other close friend, whom he trusted more, was still stationed in Eritrea or some other remote location. Plus, what’s the point of letters? Friends can't be delivered through the mail.
Lilia, so similar to her husband in many ways, yearned for comfort and sympathy too. The night he laughed at her she wildly took up paper and pen and wrote page after page, analysing his character, enumerating his iniquities, reporting whole conversations, tracing all the causes and the growth of her misery. She was beside herself with passion, and though she could hardly think or see, she suddenly attained to magnificence and pathos which a practised stylist might have envied. It was written like a diary, and not till its conclusion did she realize for whom it was meant.
Lilia, so much like her husband in various ways, craved comfort and understanding too. The night he laughed at her, she frantically grabbed paper and pen and wrote page after page, analyzing his character, listing his faults, recounting entire conversations, and tracing all the reasons and the development of her misery. She was overwhelmed with emotion, and even though she could barely think or see, she unexpectedly achieved a level of grandeur and depth that a skilled writer might have envied. It was written like a diary, and it wasn't until she reached the end that she realized who it was meant for.
“Irma, darling Irma, this letter is for you. I almost forgot I have a daughter. It will make you unhappy, but I want you to know everything, and you cannot learn things too soon. God bless you, my dearest, and save you. God bless your miserable mother.”
“Irma, dear Irma, this letter is for you. I almost forgot that I have a daughter. This may upset you, but I want you to know everything, and you can’t learn things too soon. God bless you, my sweetest, and keep you safe. God bless your wretched mother.”
Fortunately Mrs. Herriton was in when the letter arrived. She seized it and opened it in her bedroom. Another moment, and Irma’s placid childhood would have been destroyed for ever.
Fortunately, Mrs. Herriton was home when the letter arrived. She grabbed it and opened it in her bedroom. Just a moment later, Irma’s calm childhood could have been ruined forever.
Lilia received a brief note from Harriet, again forbidding direct communication between mother and daughter, and concluding with formal condolences. It nearly drove her mad.
Lilia got a short note from Harriet, once again banning any direct communication between mother and daughter, and ending with formal condolences. It almost drove her crazy.
“Gently! gently!” said her husband. They were sitting together on the loggia when the letter arrived. He often sat with her now, watching her for hours, puzzled and anxious, but not contrite.
“Easy! Easy!” said her husband. They were sitting together on the porch when the letter arrived. He often sat with her now, watching her for hours, confused and worried, but not sorry.
“It’s nothing.” She went in and tore it up, and then began to write—a very short letter, whose gist was “Come and save me.”
“It’s nothing.” She went inside and ripped it up, then started to write—a very short letter, whose main message was “Come and save me.”
It is not good to see your wife crying when she writes—especially if you are conscious that, on the whole, your treatment of her has been reasonable and kind. It is not good, when you accidentally look over her shoulder, to see that she is writing to a man. Nor should she shake her fist at you when she leaves the room, under the impression that you are engaged in lighting a cigar and cannot see her.
It’s not a good feeling to see your wife crying while she writes—especially when you know you’ve generally been reasonable and kind to her. It’s unsettling when you happen to glance over her shoulder and see that she’s writing to another man. And it’s certainly not okay for her to shake her fist at you when she leaves the room, thinking you’re busy lighting a cigar and can’t see her.
Lilia went to the post herself. But in Italy so many things can be arranged. The postman was a friend of Gino’s, and Mr. Kingcroft never got his letter.
Lilia went to the post office herself. But in Italy, so many things can be arranged. The postman was a friend of Gino’s, and Mr. Kingcroft never received his letter.
So she gave up hope, became ill, and all through the autumn lay in bed. Gino was distracted. She knew why; he wanted a son. He could talk and think of nothing else. His one desire was to become the father of a man like himself, and it held him with a grip he only partially understood, for it was the first great desire, the first great passion of his life. Falling in love was a mere physical triviality, like warm sun or cool water, beside this divine hope of immortality: “I continue.” He gave candles to Santa Deodata, for he was always religious at a crisis, and sometimes he went to her himself and prayed the crude uncouth demands of the simple. Impetuously he summoned all his relatives back to bear him company in his time of need, and Lilia saw strange faces flitting past her in the darkened room.
So she lost hope, got sick, and spent all autumn lying in bed. Gino was distracted. She knew why; he wanted a son. He could talk and think of nothing else. His one desire was to become the father of a man like himself, and it held him with a grip he only partially understood, for it was the first great desire, the first great passion of his life. Falling in love was just a physical triviality, like warm sunlight or cool water, compared to this divine hope of immortality: “I continue.” He gave candles to Santa Deodata, as he was always religious in a crisis, and sometimes he went to her himself and prayed the simple, crude requests of the ordinary. Impulsively, he summoned all his relatives back to keep him company in his time of need, and Lilia saw strange faces flickering past her in the darkened room.
“My love!” he would say, “my dearest Lilia! Be calm. I have never loved any one but you.”
“ My love!” he would say, “my dearest Lilia! Please stay calm. I have never loved anyone but you.”
She, knowing everything, would only smile gently, too broken by suffering to make sarcastic repartees.
She, knowing everything, would only smile gently, too worn down by suffering to make sarcastic remarks.
Before the child was born he gave her a kiss, and said, “I have prayed all night for a boy.”
Before the child was born, he leaned in and kissed her, saying, “I prayed all night for a boy.”
Some strangely tender impulse moved her, and she said faintly, “You are a boy yourself, Gino.”
Some oddly gentle feeling stirred in her, and she said softly, “You’re still a boy, Gino.”
He answered, “Then we shall be brothers.”
He replied, “Then we’ll be brothers.”
He lay outside the room with his head against the door like a dog. When they came to tell him the glad news they found him half unconscious, and his face was wet with tears.
He lay outside the room with his head against the door like a dog. When they came to share the good news, they found him half conscious, and his face was wet with tears.
As for Lilia, some one said to her, “It is a beautiful boy!” But she had died in giving birth to him.
As for Lilia, someone said to her, “It’s a beautiful boy!” But she had died giving birth to him.
Chapter 5
At the time of Lilia’s death Philip Herriton was just twenty-four years of age—indeed the news reached Sawston on his birthday. He was a tall, weakly-built young man, whose clothes had to be judiciously padded on the shoulders in order to make him pass muster. His face was plain rather than not, and there was a curious mixture in it of good and bad. He had a fine forehead and a good large nose, and both observation and sympathy were in his eyes. But below the nose and eyes all was confusion, and those people who believe that destiny resides in the mouth and chin shook their heads when they looked at him.
At the time of Lilia’s death, Philip Herriton was just twenty-four years old—actually, the news arrived in Sawston on his birthday. He was a tall, frail young man whose clothes needed careful padding on the shoulders to help him look more presentable. His face was plain rather than attractive, and it held an unusual mix of good and bad. He had a nice forehead and a prominent nose, with both observation and empathy in his eyes. However, below his nose and eyes, everything was confusing, and those who believe that destiny is reflected in the mouth and chin shook their heads when they saw him.
Philip himself, as a boy, had been keenly conscious of these defects. Sometimes when he had been bullied or hustled about at school he would retire to his cubicle and examine his features in a looking-glass, and he would sigh and say, “It is a weak face. I shall never carve a place for myself in the world.” But as years went on he became either less self-conscious or more self-satisfied. The world, he found, made a niche for him as it did for every one. Decision of character might come later—or he might have it without knowing. At all events he had got a sense of beauty and a sense of humour, two most desirable gifts. The sense of beauty developed first. It caused him at the age of twenty to wear parti-coloured ties and a squashy hat, to be late for dinner on account of the sunset, and to catch art from Burne-Jones to Praxiteles. At twenty-two he went to Italy with some cousins, and there he absorbed into one aesthetic whole olive-trees, blue sky, frescoes, country inns, saints, peasants, mosaics, statues, beggars. He came back with the air of a prophet who would either remodel Sawston or reject it. All the energies and enthusiasms of a rather friendless life had passed into the championship of beauty.
Philip, as a boy, was really aware of his flaws. When he was bullied or pushed around at school, he'd retreat to his room, check out his reflection in the mirror, and sigh, thinking, “I have a weak face. I’ll never make a name for myself.” But over the years, he became either less self-conscious or more comfortable in his skin. He discovered that the world had a place for him just like it did for everyone else. He might find his purpose later—or maybe he already had it without realizing. In any case, he developed an appreciation for beauty and a sense of humor, which are both great assets. His sense of beauty came first. By the time he was twenty, it led him to wear colorful ties and a floppy hat, to be late for dinner just to enjoy the sunset, and to be inspired by artists from Burne-Jones to Praxiteles. At twenty-two, he traveled to Italy with some cousins, where he absorbed everything beautiful around him—olive trees, blue skies, frescoes, country inns, saints, peasants, mosaics, statues, and beggars—into one aesthetic vision. He returned home with the attitude of a prophet, ready to either transform Sawston or turn his back on it. All the energy and enthusiasm from his rather lonely life had gone into his passion for beauty.
In a short time it was over. Nothing had happened either in Sawston or within himself. He had shocked half-a-dozen people, squabbled with his sister, and bickered with his mother. He concluded that nothing could happen, not knowing that human love and love of truth sometimes conquer where love of beauty fails.
In a short time, it was all over. Nothing had changed in Sawston or within himself. He had shocked a handful of people, argued with his sister, and bickered with his mother. He figured that nothing could happen, not realizing that human love and a love for truth can sometimes succeed where a love for beauty does not.
A little disenchanted, a little tired, but aesthetically intact, he resumed his placid life, relying more and more on his second gift, the gift of humour. If he could not reform the world, he could at all events laugh at it, thus attaining at least an intellectual superiority. Laughter, he read and believed, was a sign of good moral health, and he laughed on contentedly, till Lilia’s marriage toppled contentment down for ever. Italy, the land of beauty, was ruined for him. She had no power to change men and things who dwelt in her. She, too, could produce avarice, brutality, stupidity—and, what was worse, vulgarity. It was on her soil and through her influence that a silly woman had married a cad. He hated Gino, the betrayer of his life’s ideal, and now that the sordid tragedy had come, it filled him with pangs, not of sympathy, but of final disillusion.
A bit disheartened, a bit exhausted, but still holding on to his sense of style, he went back to his calm life, increasingly relying on his second talent, the gift of humor. If he couldn't change the world, at least he could laugh at it, gaining some sense of intellectual superiority. He read and believed that laughter was a sign of good moral health, and he chuckled away, until Lilia’s marriage shattered his contentment for good. Italy, the land of beauty, was ruined for him. It had no power to change the people and things that lived there. It could also create greed, cruelty, ignorance—and, worse, vulgarity. It was on her land and through her influence that a foolish woman had married a jerk. He despised Gino, the betrayer of his life’s ideals, and now that the grim tragedy had unfolded, it filled him with feelings not of sympathy, but of deep disillusionment.
The disillusion was convenient for Mrs. Herriton, who saw a trying little period ahead of her, and was glad to have her family united.
The disappointment was convenient for Mrs. Herriton, who anticipated a tough few weeks ahead and was relieved to have her family together.
“Are we to go into mourning, do you think?” She always asked her children’s advice where possible.
“Do you think we should go into mourning?” She always asked her kids for their advice when she could.
Harriet thought that they should. She had been detestable to Lilia while she lived, but she always felt that the dead deserve attention and sympathy. “After all she has suffered. That letter kept me awake for nights. The whole thing is like one of those horrible modern plays where no one is in ‘the right.’ But if we have mourning, it will mean telling Irma.”
Harriet believed they should. She had been awful to Lilia while she was alive, but she always thought the dead deserve attention and sympathy. “After everything she went through. That letter kept me up for nights. The whole situation is like one of those terrible modern plays where no one is truly ‘in the right.’ But if we mourn, it means we’ll have to tell Irma.”
“Of course we must tell Irma!” said Philip.
"Of course we need to tell Irma!" said Philip.
“Of course,” said his mother. “But I think we can still not tell her about Lilia’s marriage.”
“Of course,” his mother said. “But I still think we shouldn’t tell her about Lilia’s marriage.”
“I don’t think that. And she must have suspected something by now.”
“I don’t think that. She must have suspected something by now.”
“So one would have supposed. But she never cared for her mother, and little girls of nine don’t reason clearly. She looks on it as a long visit. And it is important, most important, that she should not receive a shock. All a child’s life depends on the ideal it has of its parents. Destroy that and everything goes—morals, behaviour, everything. Absolute trust in some one else is the essence of education. That is why I have been so careful about talking of poor Lilia before her.”
“So one might think. But she never cared for her mother, and little girls at nine don’t think things through. She views it as a long visit. It’s crucial, really crucial, that she doesn’t experience a shock. A child’s entire life hinges on the image it has of its parents. Destroy that, and everything falls apart—morals, behavior, all of it. Complete trust in someone else is the foundation of education. That’s why I’ve been so cautious about discussing poor Lilia in front of her.”
“But you forget this wretched baby. Waters and Adamson write that there is a baby.”
“But you’re forgetting this miserable baby. Waters and Adamson say there’s a baby.”
“Mrs. Theobald must be told. But she doesn’t count. She is breaking up very quickly. She doesn’t even see Mr. Kingcroft now. He, thank goodness, I hear, has at last consoled himself with someone else.”
“Mrs. Theobald needs to be informed. But she doesn’t matter. She’s falling apart really fast. She doesn’t even see Mr. Kingcroft anymore. He, thank goodness, I hear, has finally found comfort with someone else.”
“The child must know some time,” persisted Philip, who felt a little displeased, though he could not tell with what.
“The child has to know at some point,” insisted Philip, who felt a bit uneasy, even though he couldn't quite figure out why.
“The later the better. Every moment she is developing.”
“The later, the better. Every moment she’s growing.”
“I must say it seems rather hard luck, doesn’t it?”
“I’ve got to say, it seems pretty unfair, doesn’t it?”
“On Irma? Why?”
"About Irma? Why?"
“On us, perhaps. We have morals and behaviour also, and I don’t think this continual secrecy improves them.”
“Maybe it’s on us. We have morals and behavior too, and I don’t think this constant secrecy helps them.”
“There’s no need to twist the thing round to that,” said Harriet, rather disturbed.
“There’s no need to twist it around like that,” said Harriet, feeling a bit unsettled.
“Of course there isn’t,” said her mother. “Let’s keep to the main issue. This baby’s quite beside the point. Mrs. Theobald will do nothing, and it’s no concern of ours.”
“Of course there isn’t,” said her mother. “Let’s stick to the main issue. This baby is totally irrelevant. Mrs. Theobald will do nothing, and it’s not our problem.”
“It will make a difference in the money, surely,” said he.
“It will definitely make a difference in the money,” he said.
“No, dear; very little. Poor Charles provided for every kind of contingency in his will. The money will come to you and Harriet, as Irma’s guardians.”
“No, dear; not much at all. Poor Charles took care of every possible situation in his will. The money will go to you and Harriet, as Irma’s guardians.”
“Good. Does the Italian get anything?”
“Good. Does the Italian get anything?”
“He will get all hers. But you know what that is.”
“He’ll get everything that belongs to her. But you know what that means.”
“Good. So those are our tactics—to tell no one about the baby, not even Miss Abbott.”
“Good. So those are our tactics—to keep the baby a secret from everyone, not even Miss Abbott.”
“Most certainly this is the proper course,” said Mrs. Herriton, preferring “course” to “tactics” for Harriet’s sake. “And why ever should we tell Caroline?”
“Definitely, this is the right approach,” said Mrs. Herriton, favoring “approach” over “tactics” for Harriet’s sake. “And why on earth should we tell Caroline?”
“She was so mixed up in the affair.”
“She was so tangled up in the situation.”
“Poor silly creature. The less she hears about it the better she will be pleased. I have come to be very sorry for Caroline. She, if any one, has suffered and been penitent. She burst into tears when I told her a little, only a little, of that terrible letter. I never saw such genuine remorse. We must forgive her and forget. Let the dead bury their dead. We will not trouble her with them.”
“Poor silly thing. The less she knows about it, the better off she'll be. I really feel sorry for Caroline. She, more than anyone, has suffered and feels regret. She burst into tears when I told her a little bit—just a little—about that awful letter. I've never seen such genuine remorse. We need to forgive her and move on. Let the past stay in the past. We won’t bother her with it.”
Philip saw that his mother was scarcely logical. But there was no advantage in saying so. “Here beginneth the New Life, then. Do you remember, mother, that was what we said when we saw Lilia off?”
Philip noticed that his mother wasn't very logical. But there was no point in saying it. “So this is the start of the New Life, then. Do you remember, mom, that’s what we said when we saw Lilia off?”
“Yes, dear; but now it is really a New Life, because we are all at accord. Then you were still infatuated with Italy. It may be full of beautiful pictures and churches, but we cannot judge a country by anything but its men.”
“Yes, dear; but now it’s truly a new life, because we’re all in agreement. Back then, you were still obsessed with Italy. It might be full of beautiful art and churches, but we can only judge a country by its people.”
“That is quite true,” he said sadly. And as the tactics were now settled, he went out and took an aimless and solitary walk.
"That's totally true," he said sadly. And since the plans were now set, he went out for a pointless and lonely walk.
By the time he came back two important things had happened. Irma had been told of her mother’s death, and Miss Abbott, who had called for a subscription, had been told also.
By the time he came back, two important things had happened. Irma had been informed about her mother's death, and Miss Abbott, who had come to ask for donations, had been informed as well.
Irma had wept loudly, had asked a few sensible questions and a good many silly ones, and had been content with evasive answers. Fortunately the school prize-giving was at hand, and that, together with the prospect of new black clothes, kept her from meditating on the fact that Lilia, who had been absent so long, would now be absent for ever.
Irma had cried loudly, asked a few sensible questions and a lot of silly ones, and had been okay with vague answers. Luckily, the school award ceremony was approaching, and that, along with the chance to get new black clothes, kept her from thinking too much about the fact that Lilia, who had been gone for so long, would now be gone forever.
“As for Caroline,” said Mrs. Herriton, “I was almost frightened. She broke down utterly. She cried even when she left the house. I comforted her as best I could, and I kissed her. It is something that the breach between her and ourselves is now entirely healed.”
“As for Caroline,” said Mrs. Herriton, “I was almost scared. She completely fell apart. She was crying even when she left the house. I did my best to comfort her, and I gave her a kiss. It’s nice to know that the gap between her and us is now totally healed.”
“Did she ask no questions—as to the nature of Lilia’s death, I mean?”
“Did she ask any questions about how Lilia died, I mean?”
“She did. But she has a mind of extraordinary delicacy. She saw that I was reticent, and she did not press me. You see, Philip, I can say to you what I could not say before Harriet. Her ideas are so crude. Really we do not want it known in Sawston that there is a baby. All peace and comfort would be lost if people came inquiring after it.”
“She did. But she has a mind of extraordinary delicacy. She noticed that I was hesitant, and she didn’t push me. You see, Philip, I can tell you what I couldn’t say to Harriet before. Her thoughts are so unsophisticated. Honestly, we don’t want anyone in Sawston to know there’s a baby. All our peace and comfort would be gone if people started asking about it.”
His mother knew how to manage him. He agreed enthusiastically. And a few days later, when he chanced to travel up to London with Miss Abbott, he had all the time the pleasant thrill of one who is better informed. Their last journey together had been from Monteriano back across Europe. It had been a ghastly journey, and Philip, from the force of association, rather expected something ghastly now.
His mom knew how to handle him. He agreed excitedly. A few days later, when he happened to go up to London with Miss Abbott, he felt the nice thrill of someone who's better informed. Their last trip together had been from Monteriano back across Europe. It had been a terrible journey, and Philip, due to the memory, kind of expected something awful this time too.
He was surprised. Miss Abbott, between Sawston and Charing Cross, revealed qualities which he had never guessed her to possess. Without being exactly original, she did show a commendable intelligence, and though at times she was gauche and even uncourtly, he felt that here was a person whom it might be well to cultivate.
He was surprised. Miss Abbott, between Sawston and Charing Cross, showed qualities he had never expected from her. While she wasn't exactly original, she displayed a commendable intelligence, and although she was sometimes awkward and even a bit rude, he felt that she was someone worth getting to know better.
At first she annoyed him. They were talking, of course, about Lilia, when she broke the thread of vague commiseration and said abruptly, “It is all so strange as well as so tragic. And what I did was as strange as anything.”
At first, she irritated him. They were talking, of course, about Lilia when she interrupted the vague sympathy and said suddenly, “It’s all so strange and tragic. And what I did was as strange as anything.”
It was the first reference she had ever made to her contemptible behaviour. “Never mind,” he said. “It’s all over now. Let the dead bury their dead. It’s fallen out of our lives.”
It was the first time she had ever mentioned her shameful behavior. “Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s all in the past now. Let the past take care of itself. It's no longer part of our lives.”
“But that’s why I can talk about it and tell you everything I have always wanted to. You thought me stupid and sentimental and wicked and mad, but you never really knew how much I was to blame.”
“But that’s why I can talk about it and tell you everything I've always wanted to. You thought I was stupid, sentimental, wicked, and crazy, but you never really understood how much of it was my fault.”
“Indeed I never think about it now,” said Philip gently. He knew that her nature was in the main generous and upright: it was unnecessary for her to reveal her thoughts.
“Honestly, I never think about it now,” Philip said softly. He understood that her nature was fundamentally generous and noble: there was no need for her to share her thoughts.
“The first evening we got to Monteriano,” she persisted, “Lilia went out for a walk alone, saw that Italian in a picturesque position on a wall, and fell in love. He was shabbily dressed, and she did not even know he was the son of a dentist. I must tell you I was used to this sort of thing. Once or twice before I had had to send people about their business.”
“The first evening we arrived in Monteriano,” she insisted, “Lilia went out for a walk by herself, spotted that Italian guy in a charming spot on a wall, and fell for him. He was dressed poorly, and she didn’t even know he was the dentist’s son. I have to say, I was used to this kind of thing. A couple of times before, I had to send people on their way.”
“Yes; we counted on you,” said Philip, with sudden sharpness. After all, if she would reveal her thoughts, she must take the consequences.
“Yes, we relied on you,” Philip said, suddenly sharp. After all, if she was going to share her thoughts, she had to face the consequences.
“I know you did,” she retorted with equal sharpness. “Lilia saw him several times again, and I knew I ought to interfere. I called her to my bedroom one night. She was very frightened, for she knew what it was about and how severe I could be. ‘Do you love this man?’ I asked. ‘Yes or no?’ She said ‘Yes.’ And I said, ‘Why don’t you marry him if you think you’ll be happy?’”
“I know you did,” she shot back just as sharply. “Lilia saw him a few more times, and I realized I needed to step in. I called her to my room one night. She was really scared because she knew what I was going to say and how tough I could be. ‘Do you love this guy?’ I asked. ‘Yes or no?’ She said ‘Yes.’ And I said, ‘Why don’t you just marry him if you think you’ll be happy?’”
“Really—really,” exploded Philip, as exasperated as if the thing had happened yesterday. “You knew Lilia all your life. Apart from everything else—as if she could choose what could make her happy!”
“Seriously—seriously,” Philip burst out, as frustrated as if it had all happened yesterday. “You’ve known Lilia your whole life. Besides everything else—as if she had a say in what would make her happy!”
“Had you ever let her choose?” she flashed out. “I’m afraid that’s rude,” she added, trying to calm herself.
“Have you ever let her choose?” she shot back. “I think that’s pretty rude,” she added, trying to collect herself.
“Let us rather say unhappily expressed,” said Philip, who always adopted a dry satirical manner when he was puzzled.
“Let’s say that it was expressed poorly,” said Philip, who always took on a dry, sarcastic tone when he was confused.
“I want to finish. Next morning I found Signor Carella and said the same to him. He—well, he was willing. That’s all.”
“I want to finish. The next morning, I found Signor Carella and told him the same thing. He—well, he was on board. That’s it.”
“And the telegram?” He looked scornfully out of the window.
“And the telegram?” He glanced out the window with disdain.
Hitherto her voice had been hard, possibly in self-accusation, possibly in defiance. Now it became unmistakably sad. “Ah, the telegram! That was wrong. Lilia there was more cowardly than I was. We should have told the truth. It lost me my nerve, at all events. I came to the station meaning to tell you everything then. But we had started with a lie, and I got frightened. And at the end, when you left, I got frightened again and came with you.”
Up until now, her voice had been harsh, maybe out of self-blame, maybe out of defiance. Now it sounded clearly sad. “Oh, the telegram! That was a mistake. Lilia was more cowardly than I was. We should have just told the truth. I lost my nerve, for sure. I came to the station planning to tell you everything then. But we had started with a lie, and I got scared. And in the end, when you left, I got scared again and came along with you.”
“Did you really mean to stop?”
“Did you actually mean to stop?”
“For a time, at all events.”
“For a bit, at least.”
“Would that have suited a newly married pair?”
“Would that have been suitable for a newly married couple?”
“It would have suited them. Lilia needed me. And as for him—I can’t help feeling I might have got influence over him.”
“It would have worked for them. Lilia needed me. And as for him—I can’t shake the feeling that I could have had an impact on him.”
“I am ignorant of these matters,” said Philip; “but I should have thought that would have increased the difficulty of the situation.”
“I don't know much about these things,” said Philip; “but I would have thought that would make the situation more difficult.”
The crisp remark was wasted on her. She looked hopelessly at the raw over-built country, and said, “Well, I have explained.”
The sharp comment went right over her head. She gazed helplessly at the rough, overdeveloped countryside and said, “Well, I’ve explained.”
“But pardon me, Miss Abbott; of most of your conduct you have given a description rather than an explanation.”
“But excuse me, Miss Abbott; for much of your behavior, you’ve provided a description instead of an explanation.”
He had fairly caught her, and expected that she would gape and collapse. To his surprise she answered with some spirit, “An explanation may bore you, Mr. Herriton: it drags in other topics.”
He had pretty much caught her and thought she would be stunned and fall apart. To his surprise, she replied with some energy, “You might find an explanation boring, Mr. Herriton: it brings in other topics.”
“Oh, never mind.”
"Forget it."
“I hated Sawston, you see.”
"I hated Sawston, you know."
He was delighted. “So did and do I. That’s splendid. Go on.”
He was thrilled. “Me too! That’s awesome. Keep going.”
“I hated the idleness, the stupidity, the respectability, the petty unselfishness.”
“I hated the laziness, the ignorance, the pretentiousness, the small acts of selflessness.”
“Petty selfishness,” he corrected. Sawston psychology had long been his specialty.
“Minor selfishness,” he corrected. Sawston psychology had been his specialty for a long time.
“Petty unselfishness,” she repeated. “I had got an idea that every one here spent their lives in making little sacrifices for objects they didn’t care for, to please people they didn’t love; that they never learnt to be sincere—and, what’s as bad, never learnt how to enjoy themselves. That’s what I thought—what I thought at Monteriano.”
“Small acts of unselfishness,” she repeated. “I got the impression that everyone here spent their lives making little sacrifices for things they didn’t really care about, just to please people they didn’t love; that they never learned to be genuine—and, even worse, never figured out how to have fun. That’s what I thought—what I thought at Monteriano.”
“Why, Miss Abbott,” he cried, “you should have told me this before! Think it still! I agree with lots of it. Magnificent!”
“Why, Miss Abbott,” he exclaimed, “you should have told me this earlier! Seriously! I agree with a lot of it. It's fantastic!”
“Now Lilia,” she went on, “though there were things about her I didn’t like, had somehow kept the power of enjoying herself with sincerity. And Gino, I thought, was splendid, and young, and strong not only in body, and sincere as the day. If they wanted to marry, why shouldn’t they do so? Why shouldn’t she break with the deadening life where she had got into a groove, and would go on in it, getting more and more—worse than unhappy—apathetic till she died? Of course I was wrong. She only changed one groove for another—a worse groove. And as for him—well, you know more about him than I do. I can never trust myself to judge characters again. But I still feel he cannot have been quite bad when we first met him. Lilia—that I should dare to say it!—must have been cowardly. He was only a boy—just going to turn into something fine, I thought—and she must have mismanaged him. So that is the one time I have gone against what is proper, and there are the results. You have an explanation now.”
“Now Lilia,” she continued, “even though there were things about her I didn’t like, somehow she had managed to genuinely enjoy herself. And Gino, I thought, was impressive, young, and strong—not just physically, but sincere as well. If they wanted to get married, why shouldn’t they? Why shouldn’t she leave behind the boring life she had settled into, which would only lead her to become more and more—worse than unhappy—apathetic until she died? Of course, I was wrong. She just switched one rut for another—a worse one. And as for him—well, you know more about him than I do. I can never trust myself to judge people's character again. But I still believe he couldn't have been completely bad when we first met him. Lilia—that I would dare to say it!—must have been cowardly. He was just a boy—on the verge of becoming something great, I thought—and she must have mishandled him. So that’s the one time I went against what was right, and here are the results. You now have an explanation.”
“And much of it has been most interesting, though I don’t understand everything. Did you never think of the disparity of their social position?”
“And a lot of it has been really interesting, even though I don’t get everything. Did you ever think about the difference in their social status?”
“We were mad—drunk with rebellion. We had no common-sense. As soon as you came, you saw and foresaw everything.”
“We were angry—intoxicated with defiance. We had no common sense. As soon as you arrived, you perceived and anticipated everything.”
“Oh, I don’t think that.” He was vaguely displeased at being credited with common-sense. For a moment Miss Abbott had seemed to him more unconventional than himself.
“Oh, I don’t think that.” He was somewhat annoyed to be thought of as having common sense. For a moment, Miss Abbott had appeared to him to be more unconventional than he was.
“I hope you see,” she concluded, “why I have troubled you with this long story. Women—I heard you say the other day—are never at ease till they tell their faults out loud. Lilia is dead and her husband gone to the bad—all through me. You see, Mr. Herriton, it makes me specially unhappy; it’s the only time I’ve ever gone into what my father calls ‘real life’—and look what I’ve made of it! All that winter I seemed to be waking up to beauty and splendour and I don’t know what; and when the spring came, I wanted to fight against the things I hated—mediocrity and dulness and spitefulness and society. I actually hated society for a day or two at Monteriano. I didn’t see that all these things are invincible, and that if we go against them they will break us to pieces. Thank you for listening to so much nonsense.”
“I hope you understand,” she finished, “why I’ve burdened you with this long story. Women—I heard you mention the other day—are never really at peace until they share their faults out loud. Lilia is dead, and her husband has gone down a bad path—all because of me. You see, Mr. Herriton, it makes me especially unhappy; it’s the only time I’ve ever engaged in what my father calls ‘real life’—and look what I’ve made of it! All that winter, I felt like I was waking up to beauty and splendor and I don’t know what else; and when spring came, I wanted to fight against everything I loathed—mediocrity, dullness, spitefulness, and society. I actually hated society for a day or two in Monteriano. I didn’t realize that all these things are unbeatable, and that if we go against them, they will shatter us. Thank you for listening to all this nonsense.”
“Oh, I quite sympathize with what you say,” said Philip encouragingly; “it isn’t nonsense, and a year or two ago I should have been saying it too. But I feel differently now, and I hope that you also will change. Society is invincible—to a certain degree. But your real life is your own, and nothing can touch it. There is no power on earth that can prevent your criticizing and despising mediocrity—nothing that can stop you retreating into splendour and beauty—into the thoughts and beliefs that make the real life—the real you.”
“Oh, I totally get what you’re saying,” Philip said encouragingly; “it’s not nonsense, and a year or two ago, I would have said the same thing too. But I see things differently now, and I hope you’ll change your mind as well. Society is tough—up to a point. But your true life is yours, and nothing can affect it. There’s no force on earth that can stop you from criticizing and looking down on mediocrity—nothing that can keep you from retreating into greatness and beauty—into the thoughts and beliefs that create the real life—the real you.”
“I have never had that experience yet. Surely I and my life must be where I live.”
“I have never experienced that before. Surely I and my life must be tied to where I live.”
Evidently she had the usual feminine incapacity for grasping philosophy. But she had developed quite a personality, and he must see more of her. “There is another great consolation against invincible mediocrity,” he said—“the meeting a fellow-victim. I hope that this is only the first of many discussions that we shall have together.”
Evidently, she had the typical difficulty women face when trying to understand philosophy. But she had developed a strong personality, and he wanted to spend more time with her. “There’s another great comfort against unbeatable mediocrity,” he said, “and that’s meeting someone who feels the same way. I hope this is just the first of many conversations we’re going to have together.”
She made a suitable reply. The train reached Charing Cross, and they parted,—he to go to a matinee, she to buy petticoats for the corpulent poor. Her thoughts wandered as she bought them: the gulf between herself and Mr. Herriton, which she had always known to be great, now seemed to her immeasurable.
She gave a fitting response. The train arrived at Charing Cross, and they separated—he was off to a matinee, while she went to buy petticoats for the overweight poor. As she bought them, her mind drifted: the distance between herself and Mr. Herriton, which she had always realized was significant, now felt endless.
These events and conversations took place at Christmas-time. The New Life initiated by them lasted some seven months. Then a little incident—a mere little vexatious incident—brought it to its close.
These events and conversations happened during Christmas time. The New Life they started lasted for about seven months. Then a small incident—a trivial and annoying incident—brought it to an end.
Irma collected picture post-cards, and Mrs. Herriton or Harriet always glanced first at all that came, lest the child should get hold of something vulgar. On this occasion the subject seemed perfectly inoffensive—a lot of ruined factory chimneys—and Harriet was about to hand it to her niece when her eye was caught by the words on the margin. She gave a shriek and flung the card into the grate. Of course no fire was alight in July, and Irma only had to run and pick it out again.
Irma collected picture postcards, and Mrs. Herriton or Harriet always took a quick look at every card that arrived, just to make sure the child didn’t end up with something inappropriate. This time, the image seemed completely harmless—a bunch of abandoned factory chimneys—and Harriet was ready to give it to her niece when she noticed the words on the side. She let out a scream and threw the card into the fireplace. Of course, it was July, so there was no fire going, and Irma just had to dash over and retrieve it.
“How dare you!” screamed her aunt. “You wicked girl! Give it here!”
“How dare you!” shouted her aunt. “You naughty girl! Hand it over!”
Unfortunately Mrs. Herriton was out of the room. Irma, who was not in awe of Harriet, danced round the table, reading as she did so, “View of the superb city of Monteriano—from your lital brother.”
Unfortunately, Mrs. Herriton was out of the room. Irma, who didn’t feel intimidated by Harriet, danced around the table while reading, “View of the amazing city of Monteriano—from your little brother.”
Stupid Harriet caught her, boxed her ears, and tore the post-card into fragments. Irma howled with pain, and began shouting indignantly, “Who is my little brother? Why have I never heard of him before? Grandmamma! Grandmamma! Who is my little brother? Who is my—”
Stupid Harriet caught her, smacked her ears, and ripped the postcard into pieces. Irma cried out in pain and started shouting angrily, “Who is my little brother? Why have I never heard of him before? Grandmamma! Grandmamma! Who is my little brother? Who is my—”
Mrs. Herriton swept into the room, saying, “Come with me, dear, and I will tell you. Now it is time for you to know.”
Mrs. Herriton walked into the room and said, “Come with me, dear, and I’ll tell you. Now it’s time for you to know.”
Irma returned from the interview sobbing, though, as a matter of fact, she had learnt very little. But that little took hold of her imagination. She had promised secrecy—she knew not why. But what harm in talking of the little brother to those who had heard of him already?
Irma came back from the interview in tears, even though she hadn't really learned much. But that little bit captured her imagination. She had promised to keep it a secret—though she wasn't sure why. But what was the harm in talking about the little brother to those who already knew about him?
“Aunt Harriet!” she would say. “Uncle Phil! Grandmamma! What do you suppose my little brother is doing now? Has he begun to play? Do Italian babies talk sooner than us, or would he be an English baby born abroad? Oh, I do long to see him, and be the first to teach him the Ten Commandments and the Catechism.”
“Aunt Harriet!” she would say. “Uncle Phil! Grandma! What do you think my little brother is doing right now? Has he started to play? Do Italian babies talk earlier than we do, or would he just be an English baby born overseas? Oh, I really can't wait to see him and be the first to teach him the Ten Commandments and the Catechism.”
The last remark always made Harriet look grave.
The last comment always made Harriet look serious.
“Really,” exclaimed Mrs. Herriton, “Irma is getting too tiresome. She forgot poor Lilia soon enough.”
“Honestly,” Mrs. Herriton exclaimed, “Irma is becoming really annoying. She forgot about poor Lilia quickly enough.”
“A living brother is more to her than a dead mother,” said Philip dreamily. “She can knit him socks.”
“A living brother means more to her than a dead mother,” Philip said thoughtfully. “She can knit him socks.”
“I stopped that. She is bringing him in everywhere. It is most vexatious. The other night she asked if she might include him in the people she mentions specially in her prayers.”
“I put an end to that. She’s bringing him everywhere. It’s really annoying. The other night, she asked if she could include him in the people she specifically mentions in her prayers.”
“What did you say?”
“What did you say?”
“Of course I allowed her,” she replied coldly. “She has a right to mention any one she chooses. But I was annoyed with her this morning, and I fear that I showed it.”
“Of course I let her,” she replied coldly. “She can mention anyone she wants. But I was frustrated with her this morning, and I’m afraid I showed it.”
“And what happened this morning?”
“What happened this morning?”
“She asked if she could pray for her ‘new father’—for the Italian!”
“She asked if she could pray for her ‘new father’—for the Italian!”
“Did you let her?”
"Did you allow her?"
“I got up without saying anything.”
“I got up without saying a word.”
“You must have felt just as you did when I wanted to pray for the devil.”
"You must have felt the same way you did when I wanted to pray for the devil."
“He is the devil,” cried Harriet.
"He is the devil," shouted Harriet.
“No, Harriet; he is too vulgar.”
“No, Harriet; he’s too rude.”
“I will thank you not to scoff against religion!” was Harriet’s retort. “Think of that poor baby. Irma is right to pray for him. What an entrance into life for an English child!”
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mock religion!” was Harriet’s response. “Consider that poor baby. Irma is right to pray for him. What a way to start life for an English child!”
“My dear sister, I can reassure you. Firstly, the beastly baby is Italian. Secondly, it was promptly christened at Santa Deodata’s, and a powerful combination of saints watch over—”
“My dear sister, I can assure you. First of all, the obnoxious baby is Italian. Secondly, it was quickly baptized at Santa Deodata’s, and a strong combination of saints is watching over—”
“Don’t, dear. And, Harriet, don’t be so serious—I mean not so serious when you are with Irma. She will be worse than ever if she thinks we have something to hide.”
“Don’t, dear. And, Harriet, lighten up a bit—I mean don’t be so serious when you’re with Irma. She’ll be even worse if she thinks we have something to hide.”
Harriet’s conscience could be quite as tiresome as Philip’s unconventionality. Mrs. Herriton soon made it easy for her daughter to go for six weeks to the Tirol. Then she and Philip began to grapple with Irma alone.
Harriet’s conscience could be just as annoying as Philip’s unconventional ways. Mrs. Herriton quickly made it possible for her daughter to spend six weeks in the Tirol. After that, she and Philip started to deal with Irma on their own.
Just as they had got things a little quiet the beastly baby sent another picture post-card—a comic one, not particularly proper. Irma received it while they were out, and all the trouble began again.
Just when things had finally calmed down a bit, the annoying baby sent another postcard—a funny one, not exactly appropriate. Irma got it while they were out, and that’s when all the drama started again.
“I cannot think,” said Mrs. Herriton, “what his motive is in sending them.”
“I can't figure out,” Mrs. Herriton said, “what his motive is for sending them.”
Two years before, Philip would have said that the motive was to give pleasure. Now he, like his mother, tried to think of something sinister and subtle.
Two years ago, Philip would have said the motive was to provide enjoyment. Now, he, like his mother, tried to think of something dark and complex.
“Do you suppose that he guesses the situation—how anxious we are to hush the scandal up?”
“Do you think he realizes what’s going on—how desperate we are to keep this scandal quiet?”
“That is quite possible. He knows that Irma will worry us about the baby. Perhaps he hopes that we shall adopt it to quiet her.”
"That's definitely possible. He knows that Irma will be concerned about the baby. Maybe he thinks we’ll adopt it to ease her worries."
“Hopeful indeed.”
"Very hopeful."
“At the same time he has the chance of corrupting the child’s morals.” She unlocked a drawer, took out the post-card, and regarded it gravely. “He entreats her to send the baby one,” was her next remark.
“At the same time, he might corrupt the child's morals.” She unlocked a drawer, took out the postcard, and looked at it seriously. “He asks her to send the baby one,” was her next comment.
“She might do it too!”
"She might do that too!"
“I told her not to; but we must watch her carefully, without, of course, appearing to be suspicious.”
“I told her not to, but we need to keep an eye on her without looking suspicious, of course.”
Philip was getting to enjoy his mother’s diplomacy. He did not think of his own morals and behaviour any more.
Philip was starting to appreciate his mother’s diplomacy. He no longer thought about his own morals and behavior.
“Who’s to watch her at school, though? She may bubble out any moment.”
“Who’s going to keep an eye on her at school, though? She could burst out at any moment.”
“We can but trust to our influence,” said Mrs. Herriton.
“We can only rely on our influence,” said Mrs. Herriton.
Irma did bubble out, that very day. She was proof against a single post-card, not against two. A new little brother is a valuable sentimental asset to a school-girl, and her school was then passing through an acute phase of baby-worship. Happy the girl who had her quiver full of them, who kissed them when she left home in the morning, who had the right to extricate them from mail-carts in the interval, who dangled them at tea ere they retired to rest! That one might sing the unwritten song of Miriam, blessed above all school-girls, who was allowed to hide her baby brother in a squashy place, where none but herself could find him!
Irma did bubble out that very day. She could handle one postcard, but not two. A new little brother is a precious sentimental asset for a school girl, and her school was going through a strong phase of baby-worship. Happy is the girl who had a bunch of them, who kissed them goodbye in the morning, who could take them out of the mail carts during the day, who showed them off at tea before they went to bed! One could sing the unwritten song of Miriam, blessed above all school girls, who was allowed to hide her baby brother in a cozy spot where only she could find him!
How could Irma keep silent when pretentious girls spoke of baby cousins and baby visitors—she who had a baby brother, who wrote her post-cards through his dear papa? She had promised not to tell about him—she knew not why—and she told. And one girl told another, and one girl told her mother, and the thing was out.
How could Irma stay quiet when snobbish girls talked about baby cousins and baby visitors—she who had a baby brother, who sent her postcards through his loving dad? She had promised not to share anything about him
“Yes, it is all very sad,” Mrs. Herriton kept saying. “My daughter-in-law made a very unhappy marriage, as I dare say you know. I suppose that the child will be educated in Italy. Possibly his grandmother may be doing something, but I have not heard of it. I do not expect that she will have him over. She disapproves of the father. It is altogether a painful business for her.”
“Yes, it’s all very sad,” Mrs. Herriton kept saying. “My daughter-in-law made a very unhappy marriage, as you probably know. I suppose the child will be raised in Italy. Maybe his grandmother is doing something, but I haven’t heard about it. I don’t expect she’ll have him here. She doesn’t approve of the father. It’s all just a difficult situation for her.”
She was careful only to scold Irma for disobedience—that eighth deadly sin, so convenient to parents and guardians. Harriet would have plunged into needless explanations and abuse. The child was ashamed, and talked about the baby less. The end of the school year was at hand, and she hoped to get another prize. But she also had put her hand to the wheel.
She was careful only to reprimand Irma for being disobedient—that eighth deadly sin, which is so convenient for parents and guardians. Harriet would have gone into unnecessary explanations and insults. The child felt ashamed and talked about the baby less. The school year was coming to an end, and she hoped to earn another award. But she also had taken action herself.
It was several days before they saw Miss Abbott. Mrs. Herriton had not come across her much since the kiss of reconciliation, nor Philip since the journey to London. She had, indeed, been rather a disappointment to him. Her creditable display of originality had never been repeated: he feared she was slipping back. Now she came about the Cottage Hospital—her life was devoted to dull acts of charity—and though she got money out of him and out of his mother, she still sat tight in her chair, looking graver and more wooden than ever.
It was several days before they saw Miss Abbott. Mrs. Herriton hadn’t encountered her much since their make-up kiss, nor had Philip since the trip to London. She had, in fact, been quite a disappointment to him. Her impressive show of originality had never happened again; he feared she was falling back into her old ways. Now she was around the Cottage Hospital—her life was dedicated to boring acts of charity—and even though she managed to get money from him and his mother, she still sat stiffly in her chair, looking more serious and wooden than ever.
“I dare say you have heard,” said Mrs. Herriton, well knowing what the matter was.
“I’m sure you’ve heard,” said Mrs. Herriton, already knowing what the issue was.
“Yes, I have. I came to ask you; have any steps been taken?”
“Yes, I have. I came to ask you: have any steps been taken?”
Philip was astonished. The question was impertinent in the extreme. He had a regard for Miss Abbott, and regretted that she had been guilty of it.
Philip was shocked. The question was incredibly rude. He had respect for Miss Abbott and regretted that she had said something like that.
“About the baby?” asked Mrs. Herriton pleasantly.
“About the baby?” Mrs. Herriton asked with a smile.
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“As far as I know, no steps. Mrs. Theobald may have decided on something, but I have not heard of it.”
“As far as I know, no action has been taken. Mrs. Theobald might have made a decision about something, but I haven’t heard anything about it.”
“I was meaning, had you decided on anything?”
“I meant, have you decided on anything?”
“The child is no relation of ours,” said Philip. “It is therefore scarcely for us to interfere.”
“The child isn’t related to us,” Philip said. “So it doesn’t really concern us to get involved.”
His mother glanced at him nervously. “Poor Lilia was almost a daughter to me once. I know what Miss Abbott means. But now things have altered. Any initiative would naturally come from Mrs. Theobald.”
His mother looked at him anxiously. “Poor Lilia used to be like a daughter to me. I understand what Miss Abbott is saying. But things have changed now. Any initiative would logically come from Mrs. Theobald.”
“But does not Mrs. Theobald always take any initiative from you?” asked Miss Abbott.
“But doesn’t Mrs. Theobald always take any initiative from you?” asked Miss Abbott.
Mrs. Herriton could not help colouring. “I sometimes have given her advice in the past. I should not presume to do so now.”
Mrs. Herriton couldn’t help but blush. “I’ve given her advice in the past. I wouldn’t assume to do that now.”
“Then is nothing to be done for the child at all?”
“Is there really nothing that can be done for the child?”
“It is extraordinarily good of you to take this unexpected interest,” said Philip.
“It’s really nice of you to show this unexpected interest,” said Philip.
“The child came into the world through my negligence,” replied Miss Abbott. “It is natural I should take an interest in it.”
“The child came into the world because I didn't take care,” Miss Abbott replied. “It's only natural that I would be interested in it.”
“My dear Caroline,” said Mrs. Herriton, “you must not brood over the thing. Let bygones be bygones. The child should worry you even less than it worries us. We never even mention it. It belongs to another world.”
“My dear Caroline,” said Mrs. Herriton, “you must not dwell on this. Let the past stay in the past. The child should concern you even less than it concerns us. We don't even bring it up. It belongs to another world.”
Miss Abbott got up without replying and turned to go. Her extreme gravity made Mrs. Herriton uneasy. “Of course,” she added, “if Mrs. Theobald decides on any plan that seems at all practicable—I must say I don’t see any such—I shall ask if I may join her in it, for Irma’s sake, and share in any possible expenses.”
Miss Abbott stood up without saying anything and started to leave. Her serious demeanor made Mrs. Herriton feel uncomfortable. “Of course,” she added, “if Mrs. Theobald comes up with any plan that seems even remotely feasible—I honestly don’t see any—I’ll ask if I can join her for Irma’s sake and help cover any possible costs.”
“Please would you let me know if she decides on anything. I should like to join as well.”
“Please let me know if she makes a decision. I’d like to join too.”
“My dear, how you throw about your money! We would never allow it.”
“My dear, you really waste your money! We’d never let that happen.”
“And if she decides on nothing, please also let me know. Let me know in any case.”
“And if she decides on nothing, please let me know. Let me know either way.”
Mrs. Herriton made a point of kissing her.
Mrs. Herriton made sure to kiss her.
“Is the young person mad?” burst out Philip as soon as she had departed. “Never in my life have I seen such colossal impertinence. She ought to be well smacked, and sent back to Sunday-school.”
“Is the young person crazy?” Philip exclaimed as soon as she had left. “I’ve never seen such outrageous disrespect. She should be given a good smack and sent back to Sunday school.”
His mother said nothing.
His mom said nothing.
“But don’t you see—she is practically threatening us? You can’t put her off with Mrs. Theobald; she knows as well as we do that she is a nonentity. If we don’t do anything she’s going to raise a scandal—that we neglect our relatives, &c., which is, of course, a lie. Still she’ll say it. Oh, dear, sweet, sober Caroline Abbott has a screw loose! We knew it at Monteriano. I had my suspicions last year one day in the train; and here it is again. The young person is mad.”
“But don’t you see—she’s practically threatening us? You can’t brush her off with Mrs. Theobald; she knows just as well as we do that she’s a nobody. If we don’t act, she’s going to create a scandal—that we neglect our relatives, etc., which is obviously a lie. Still, she’ll say it. Oh, dear, sweet, serious Caroline Abbott has a screw loose! We noticed it at Monteriano. I had my suspicions last year one day on the train; and here it is again. The girl is crazy.”
She still said nothing.
She still said nothing.
“Shall I go round at once and give it her well? I’d really enjoy it.”
“Should I just go over there and give it to her good? I’d really enjoy that.”
In a low, serious voice—such a voice as she had not used to him for months—Mrs. Herriton said, “Caroline has been extremely impertinent. Yet there may be something in what she says after all. Ought the child to grow up in that place—and with that father?”
In a low, serious voice—one she hadn't used with him in months—Mrs. Herriton said, “Caroline has been really disrespectful. But maybe there’s some truth to what she’s saying. Should the child really be growing up in that place—and with that father?”
Philip started and shuddered. He saw that his mother was not sincere. Her insincerity to others had amused him, but it was disheartening when used against himself.
Philip started and shuddered. He realized that his mother wasn't being genuine. Her lack of sincerity toward others had amused him, but it was disheartening when it was directed at him.
“Let us admit frankly,” she continued, “that after all we may have responsibilities.”
“Let’s be honest,” she continued, “that after everything, we might have responsibilities.”
“I don’t understand you, Mother. You are turning absolutely round. What are you up to?”
“I don’t get you, Mom. You're acting totally weird. What's going on?”
In one moment an impenetrable barrier had been erected between them. They were no longer in smiling confidence. Mrs. Herriton was off on tactics of her own—tactics which might be beyond or beneath him.
In an instant, an unbreakable wall had been built between them. They were no longer at ease with one another. Mrs. Herriton was pursuing her own strategies—strategies that might be above or below his understanding.
His remark offended her. “Up to? I am wondering whether I ought not to adopt the child. Is that sufficiently plain?”
His comment upset her. “Up to? I’m wondering if I should adopt the child. Is that clear enough?”
“And this is the result of half-a-dozen idiocies of Miss Abbott?”
“And this is the result of half a dozen mistakes by Miss Abbott?”
“It is. I repeat, she has been extremely impertinent. None the less she is showing me my duty. If I can rescue poor Lilia’s baby from that horrible man, who will bring it up either as Papist or infidel—who will certainly bring it up to be vicious—I shall do it.”
“It is. I repeat, she has been really rude. Still, she is showing me what I need to do. If I can save poor Lilia’s baby from that awful man, who will raise it as either Catholic or nonbeliever—who will definitely raise it to be immoral—I’ll do it.”
“You talk like Harriet.”
“You talk like Harriet now.”
“And why not?” said she, flushing at what she knew to be an insult. “Say, if you choose, that I talk like Irma. That child has seen the thing more clearly than any of us. She longs for her little brother. She shall have him. I don’t care if I am impulsive.”
“And why not?” she said, blushing at what she knew was an insult. “Go ahead and say that I talk like Irma. That girl has seen things more clearly than any of us. She misses her little brother. She will have him. I don’t care if I’m being impulsive.”
He was sure that she was not impulsive, but did not dare to say so. Her ability frightened him. All his life he had been her puppet. She let him worship Italy, and reform Sawston—just as she had let Harriet be Low Church. She had let him talk as much as he liked. But when she wanted a thing she always got it.
He was convinced that she wasn't impulsive, but he didn't dare to say it. Her strength scared him. His whole life, he had been her puppet. She allowed him to admire Italy and make changes in Sawston—just as she had allowed Harriet to be Low Church. She let him talk as much as he wanted. But whenever she wanted something, she always got it.
And though she was frightening him, she did not inspire him with reverence. Her life, he saw, was without meaning. To what purpose was her diplomacy, her insincerity, her continued repression of vigour? Did they make any one better or happier? Did they even bring happiness to herself? Harriet with her gloomy peevish creed, Lilia with her clutches after pleasure, were after all more divine than this well-ordered, active, useless machine.
And even though she was scaring him, she didn’t make him feel any admiration. He realized her life had no purpose. What was the point of her diplomacy, her dishonesty, her constant suppression of energy? Did they make anyone better or happier? Did they even bring her happiness? Harriet with her gloomy, complaining beliefs, Lilia with her desperate pursuit of pleasure, were ultimately more admirable than this neatly organized, busy, pointless machine.
Now that his mother had wounded his vanity he could criticize her thus. But he could not rebel. To the end of his days he could probably go on doing what she wanted. He watched with a cold interest the duel between her and Miss Abbott. Mrs. Herriton’s policy only appeared gradually. It was to prevent Miss Abbott interfering with the child at all costs, and if possible to prevent her at a small cost. Pride was the only solid element in her disposition. She could not bear to seem less charitable than others.
Now that his mother had hurt his pride, he could criticize her like this. But he couldn’t push back. For the rest of his life, he would probably keep doing what she wanted. He watched with detached interest as his mother faced off against Miss Abbott. Mrs. Herriton’s strategy became clear over time. It was to stop Miss Abbott from getting involved with the child at all costs, and if possible, to do so without spending much. Pride was the only real part of her character. She couldn’t stand to look less generous than anyone else.
“I am planning what can be done,” she would tell people, “and that kind Caroline Abbott is helping me. It is no business of either of us, but we are getting to feel that the baby must not be left entirely to that horrible man. It would be unfair to little Irma; after all, he is her half-brother. No, we have come to nothing definite.”
“I’m figuring out what we can do,” she would say to people, “and that kind Caroline Abbott is helping me. It’s really none of our business, but we feel that the baby shouldn’t be left completely in the hands of that awful man. It wouldn’t be fair to little Irma; after all, he is her half-brother. No, we haven’t reached any solid conclusions yet.”
Miss Abbott was equally civil, but not to be appeased by good intentions. The child’s welfare was a sacred duty to her, not a matter of pride or even of sentiment. By it alone, she felt, could she undo a little of the evil that she had permitted to come into the world. To her imagination Monteriano had become a magic city of vice, beneath whose towers no person could grow up happy or pure. Sawston, with its semi-detached houses and snobby schools, its book teas and bazaars, was certainly petty and dull; at times she found it even contemptible. But it was not a place of sin, and at Sawston, either with the Herritons or with herself, the baby should grow up.
Miss Abbott was just as polite, but she couldn't be swayed by good intentions. The child's well-being was a sacred responsibility for her, not just something to take pride in or feel sentimental about. She believed that it was the only way she could make up for some of the wrong she had allowed into the world. In her mind, Monteriano had turned into a magical city of vice, where no one could grow up happy or pure beneath its towers. Sawston, with its semi-detached houses and pretentious schools, its book teas and bazaars, was certainly small and boring; at times, she even found it contemptible. But it wasn't a place of sin, and in Sawston, whether with the Herritons or by herself, the baby should grow up.
As soon as it was inevitable, Mrs. Herriton wrote a letter for Waters and Adamson to send to Gino—the oddest letter; Philip saw a copy of it afterwards. Its ostensible purpose was to complain of the picture postcards. Right at the end, in a few nonchalant sentences, she offered to adopt the child, provided that Gino would undertake never to come near it, and would surrender some of Lilia’s money for its education.
As soon as it became clear, Mrs. Herriton wrote a letter for Waters and Adamson to send to Gino—the strangest letter; Philip saw a copy of it later. Its main purpose was to complain about the picture postcards. At the very end, in a few casual sentences, she offered to adopt the child, as long as Gino promised to stay away and give up some of Lilia’s money for its education.
“What do you think of it?” she asked her son. “It would not do to let him know that we are anxious for it.”
“What do you think about it?” she asked her son. “We shouldn’t let him know that we’re eager for it.”
“Certainly he will never suppose that.”
“Of course, he will never think that.”
“But what effect will the letter have on him?”
“But what impact will the letter have on him?”
“When he gets it he will do a sum. If it is less expensive in the long run to part with a little money and to be clear of the baby, he will part with it. If he would lose, he will adopt the tone of the loving father.”
“When he understands it, he will do the math. If it's cheaper in the long run to spend a little money and be free of the baby, he'll do that. If he stands to lose, he'll take on the role of the caring father.”
“Dear, you’re shockingly cynical.” After a pause she added, “How would the sum work out?”
“Wow, you’re really cynical.” After a pause, she added, “How would that add up?”
“I don’t know, I’m sure. But if you wanted to ensure the baby being posted by return, you should have sent a little sum to HIM. Oh, I’m not cynical—at least I only go by what I know of him. But I am weary of the whole show. Weary of Italy. Weary, weary, weary. Sawston’s a kind, pitiful place, isn’t it? I will go walk in it and seek comfort.”
“I don’t really know for sure. But if you wanted to make sure the baby is sent back, you should have sent a little money to HIM. Oh, I’m not being cynical—at least I’m only speaking from what I know about him. But I’m tired of the whole thing. Tired of Italy. Tired, tired, tired. Sawston’s a nice, sad place, isn’t it? I’ll go take a walk there and look for some comfort.”
He smiled as he spoke, for the sake of not appearing serious. When he had left her she began to smile also.
He smiled as he talked, trying not to come off as serious. After he left, she started to smile too.
It was to the Abbotts’ that he walked. Mr. Abbott offered him tea, and Caroline, who was keeping up her Italian in the next room, came in to pour it out. He told them that his mother had written to Signor Carella, and they both uttered fervent wishes for her success.
It was to the Abbotts' that he walked. Mr. Abbott offered him tea, and Caroline, who was practicing her Italian in the next room, came in to pour it out. He told them that his mother had written to Signor Carella, and they both expressed strong hopes for her success.
“Very fine of Mrs. Herriton, very fine indeed,” said Mr. Abbott, who, like every one else, knew nothing of his daughter’s exasperating behaviour. “I’m afraid it will mean a lot of expense. She will get nothing out of Italy without paying.”
“Very nice of Mrs. Herriton, very nice indeed,” said Mr. Abbott, who, like everyone else, had no idea about his daughter's frustrating behavior. “I’m afraid it will be quite expensive. She won’t get anything out of Italy without spending money.”
“There are sure to be incidental expenses,” said Philip cautiously. Then he turned to Miss Abbott and said, “Do you suppose we shall have difficulty with the man?”
“There will definitely be some unexpected costs,” Philip said carefully. Then he turned to Miss Abbott and asked, “Do you think we’ll have any trouble with the guy?”
“It depends,” she replied, with equal caution.
“It depends,” she replied, with the same caution.
“From what you saw of him, should you conclude that he would make an affectionate parent?”
“Based on what you saw of him, would you say he would be a caring parent?”
“I don’t go by what I saw of him, but by what I know of him.”
"I don’t judge him by what I saw, but by what I know about him."
“Well, what do you conclude from that?”
“Well, what do you think about that?”
“That he is a thoroughly wicked man.”
“That he is a totally evil man.”
“Yet thoroughly wicked men have loved their children. Look at Rodrigo Borgia, for example.”
“Yet completely evil men have loved their children. Take Rodrigo Borgia, for instance.”
“I have also seen examples of that in my district.”
“I’ve also seen examples of that in my area.”
With this remark the admirable young woman rose, and returned to keep up her Italian. She puzzled Philip extremely. He could understand enthusiasm, but she did not seem the least enthusiastic. He could understand pure cussedness, but it did not seem to be that either. Apparently she was deriving neither amusement nor profit from the struggle. Why, then, had she undertaken it? Perhaps she was not sincere. Perhaps, on the whole, that was most likely. She must be professing one thing and aiming at another. What the other thing could be he did not stop to consider. Insincerity was becoming his stock explanation for anything unfamiliar, whether that thing was a kindly action or a high ideal.
With that comment, the remarkable young woman stood up and went back to practice her Italian. She confused Philip a lot. He could understand enthusiasm, but she didn’t seem enthusiastic at all. He could get pure stubbornness, but that didn’t seem to be it either. It looked like she wasn't getting any fun or benefit from the struggle. So, why did she take it on? Maybe she wasn’t being genuine. In fact, that seemed the most likely. She must be pretending to want one thing while actually aiming for another. He didn’t stop to think about what that other thing could be. Insincerity was becoming his go-to explanation for anything that was unfamiliar, whether it was a kind gesture or a noble ideal.
“She fences well,” he said to his mother afterwards.
“She fences really well,” he told his mom afterward.
“What had you to fence about?” she said suavely. Her son might know her tactics, but she refused to admit that he knew. She still pretended to him that the baby was the one thing she wanted, and had always wanted, and that Miss Abbott was her valued ally.
“What were you trying to hide?” she asked smoothly. Her son might be aware of her strategies, but she wouldn’t acknowledge that he was. She continued to pretend to him that the baby was the one thing she wanted, and had always wanted, and that Miss Abbott was her trusted ally.
And when, next week, the reply came from Italy, she showed him no face of triumph. “Read the letters,” she said. “We have failed.”
And when the reply from Italy arrived next week, she didn't show him any sign of victory. “Read the letters,” she said. “We’ve failed.”
Gino wrote in his own language, but the solicitors had sent a laborious English translation, where “Preghiatissima Signora” was rendered as “Most Praiseworthy Madam,” and every delicate compliment and superlative—superlatives are delicate in Italian—would have felled an ox. For a moment Philip forgot the matter in the manner; this grotesque memorial of the land he had loved moved him almost to tears. He knew the originals of these lumbering phrases; he also had sent “sincere auguries”; he also had addressed letters—who writes at home?—from the Caffe Garibaldi. “I didn’t know I was still such an ass,” he thought. “Why can’t I realize that it’s merely tricks of expression? A bounder’s a bounder, whether he lives in Sawston or Monteriano.”
Gino wrote in his own language, but the lawyers had sent a tedious English translation, where “Preghiatissima Signora” was translated as “Most Praiseworthy Madam,” and every delicate compliment and superlative—superlatives are nuanced in Italian—could have knocked out an ox. For a moment, Philip forgot the issue in the style; this absurd reminder of the place he had loved almost brought him to tears. He recognized the originals of these clumsy phrases; he too had sent “sincere best wishes”; he also had addressed letters—who writes at home?—from the Caffe Garibaldi. “I didn’t know I was still such a fool,” he thought. “Why can’t I see that it’s just a matter of expression? A jerk is a jerk, whether he lives in Sawston or Monteriano.”
“Isn’t it disheartening?” said his mother.
“Isn’t it discouraging?” said his mom.
He then read that Gino could not accept the generous offer. His paternal heart would not permit him to abandon this symbol of his deplored spouse. As for the picture post-cards, it displeased him greatly that they had been obnoxious. He would send no more. Would Mrs. Herriton, with her notorious kindness, explain this to Irma, and thank her for those which Irma (courteous Miss!) had sent to him?
He then read that Gino couldn’t accept the generous offer. His fatherly heart wouldn’t let him abandon this reminder of his late wife. As for the picture postcards, he was really unhappy that they had been annoying. He wouldn’t send any more. Would Mrs. Herriton, with her well-known kindness, explain this to Irma and thank her for the ones that Irma (thoughtful Miss!) had sent him?
“The sum works out against us,” said Philip. “Or perhaps he is putting up the price.”
“The total doesn't add up for us,” Philip said. “Or maybe he’s raising the price.”
“No,” said Mrs. Herriton decidedly. “It is not that. For some perverse reason he will not part with the child. I must go and tell poor Caroline. She will be equally distressed.”
“No,” Mrs. Herriton said firmly. “That’s not it. For some strange reason, he refuses to let go of the child. I need to go and tell poor Caroline. She’ll be equally upset.”
She returned from the visit in the most extraordinary condition. Her face was red, she panted for breath, there were dark circles round her eyes.
She came back from the visit looking amazing. Her face was flushed, she was out of breath, and there were dark circles under her eyes.
“The impudence!” she shouted. “The cursed impudence! Oh, I’m swearing. I don’t care. That beastly woman—how dare she interfere—I’ll—Philip, dear, I’m sorry. It’s no good. You must go.”
“The audacity!” she shouted. “The damned audacity! Oh, I’m cursing. I don’t care. That awful woman—how dare she interfere—I’ll—Philip, darling, I’m sorry. It’s no use. You have to go.”
“Go where? Do sit down. What’s happened?” This outburst of violence from his elegant ladylike mother pained him dreadfully. He had not known that it was in her.
“Go where? Please sit down. What’s going on?” This unexpected outburst of anger from his refined, ladylike mother shocked him deeply. He had never realized she was capable of it.
“She won’t accept—won’t accept the letter as final. You must go to Monteriano!”
“She won’t accept—won’t take the letter as final. You have to go to Monteriano!”
“I won’t!” he shouted back. “I’ve been and I’ve failed. I’ll never see the place again. I hate Italy.”
“I won’t!” he shouted back. “I’ve been there, and I’ve failed. I’ll never see that place again. I hate Italy.”
“If you don’t go, she will.”
“If you don’t go, she will.”
“Abbott?”
“Abbott?”
“Yes. Going alone; would start this evening. I offered to write; she said it was ‘too late!’ Too late! The child, if you please—Irma’s brother—to live with her, to be brought up by her and her father at our very gates, to go to school like a gentleman, she paying. Oh, you’re a man! It doesn’t matter for you. You can laugh. But I know what people say; and that woman goes to Italy this evening.”
“Yes. I'm going alone; I’ll leave this evening. I offered to write; she said it was ‘too late!’ Too late! The child, if you can believe it—I mean Irma’s brother—living with her, being raised by her and her father right at our doorstep, going to school like a gentleman, with her paying for it. Oh, you’re a guy! It doesn’t matter to you. You can laugh. But I know what people are saying; and that woman is heading to Italy this evening.”
He seemed to be inspired. “Then let her go! Let her mess with Italy by herself. She’ll come to grief somehow. Italy’s too dangerous, too—”
He seemed motivated. “Then let her go! Let her handle Italy on her own. She’ll get into trouble somehow. Italy’s too dangerous, too—”
“Stop that nonsense, Philip. I will not be disgraced by her. I WILL have the child. Pay all we’ve got for it. I will have it.”
“Cut that out, Philip. I won’t let her embarrass me. I WILL have the baby. I’ll spend everything we have for it. I will have it.”
“Let her go to Italy!” he cried. “Let her meddle with what she doesn’t understand! Look at this letter! The man who wrote it will marry her, or murder her, or do for her somehow. He’s a bounder, but he’s not an English bounder. He’s mysterious and terrible. He’s got a country behind him that’s upset people from the beginning of the world.”
“Let her go to Italy!” he shouted. “Let her get involved with things she doesn’t understand! Look at this letter! The guy who wrote it will either marry her or mess her up in some way. He’s a jerk, but he’s not your typical English jerk. He’s mysterious and dangerous. He comes from a country that’s caused trouble since the beginning of time.”
“Harriet!” exclaimed his mother. “Harriet shall go too. Harriet, now, will be invaluable!” And before Philip had stopped talking nonsense, she had planned the whole thing and was looking out the trains.
“Harriet!” his mother exclaimed. “Harriet is coming too. Harriet will be essential now!” And before Philip could finish his nonsense, she had already planned everything and was checking the train schedules.
Chapter 6
Italy, Philip had always maintained, is only her true self in the height of the summer, when the tourists have left her, and her soul awakes under the beams of a vertical sun. He now had every opportunity of seeing her at her best, for it was nearly the middle of August before he went out to meet Harriet in the Tirol.
Italy, Philip had always insisted, is only her true self in the peak of summer, when the tourists have gone and her spirit comes alive under the bright sun. He now had every chance to see her at her best, since it was almost mid-August before he went out to meet Harriet in the Tirol.
He found his sister in a dense cloud five thousand feet above the sea, chilled to the bone, overfed, bored, and not at all unwilling to be fetched away.
He found his sister in a thick cloud five thousand feet above the ocean, freezing, overstuffed, bored, and definitely ready to be rescued.
“It upsets one’s plans terribly,” she remarked, as she squeezed out her sponges, “but obviously it is my duty.”
“It completely messes up my plans,” she said, as she wrung out her sponges, “but clearly it’s my responsibility.”
“Did mother explain it all to you?” asked Philip.
“Did Mom explain everything to you?” asked Philip.
“Yes, indeed! Mother has written me a really beautiful letter. She describes how it was that she gradually got to feel that we must rescue the poor baby from its terrible surroundings, how she has tried by letter, and it is no good—nothing but insincere compliments and hypocrisy came back. Then she says, ‘There is nothing like personal influence; you and Philip will succeed where I have failed.’ She says, too, that Caroline Abbott has been wonderful.”
“Yes, definitely! Mom wrote me a really beautiful letter. She explains how she gradually came to feel that we have to rescue the poor baby from its awful situation, how she tried writing letters, and it didn’t work—only insincere compliments and hypocrisy came back. Then she says, ‘There’s nothing like personal influence; you and Philip will succeed where I have failed.’ She also says that Caroline Abbott has been amazing.”
Philip assented.
Philip agreed.
“Caroline feels it as keenly almost as us. That is because she knows the man. Oh, he must be loathsome! Goodness me! I’ve forgotten to pack the ammonia!... It has been a terrible lesson for Caroline, but I fancy it is her turning-point. I can’t help liking to think that out of all this evil good will come.”
“Caroline feels it almost as strongly as we do. That’s because she knows the guy. Oh, he must be awful! Goodness, I’ve forgotten to pack the ammonia!... It’s been a terrible lesson for Caroline, but I think this is her turning point. I can’t help but hope that something good will come out of all this bad.”
Philip saw no prospect of good, nor of beauty either. But the expedition promised to be highly comic. He was not averse to it any longer; he was simply indifferent to all in it except the humours. These would be wonderful. Harriet, worked by her mother; Mrs. Herriton, worked by Miss Abbott; Gino, worked by a cheque—what better entertainment could he desire? There was nothing to distract him this time; his sentimentality had died, so had his anxiety for the family honour. He might be a puppet’s puppet, but he knew exactly the disposition of the strings.
Philip saw no chance of anything good or beautiful. But the trip promised to be really funny. He didn't mind it anymore; he was just indifferent to everything except the humor. That would be amazing. Harriet, pushed by her mom; Mrs. Herriton, influenced by Miss Abbott; Gino, motivated by a check—what more entertaining could he want? This time, nothing could distract him; his sentimental side was gone, and so was his worry about the family’s reputation. He might be a pawn in someone else's game, but he knew exactly how the strings were pulled.
They travelled for thirteen hours down-hill, whilst the streams broadened and the mountains shrank, and the vegetation changed, and the people ceased being ugly and drinking beer, and began instead to drink wine and to be beautiful. And the train which had picked them at sunrise out of a waste of glaciers and hotels was waltzing at sunset round the walls of Verona.
They traveled for thirteen hours downhill, as the streams widened and the mountains got smaller, the vegetation changed, and the people stopped being unattractive and drinking beer, and started drinking wine and looking beautiful instead. The train that had picked them up at sunrise from a landscape of glaciers and hotels was now gliding around the walls of Verona at sunset.
“Absurd nonsense they talk about the heat,” said Philip, as they drove from the station. “Supposing we were here for pleasure, what could be more pleasurable than this?”
“It's ridiculous what they say about the heat,” Philip remarked as they drove from the station. “If we were here for fun, what could be better than this?”
“Did you hear, though, they are remarking on the cold?” said Harriet nervously. “I should never have thought it cold.”
“Did you hear, though? They're talking about how cold it is,” Harriet said nervously. “I never would have thought it was cold.”
And on the second day the heat struck them, like a hand laid over the mouth, just as they were walking to see the tomb of Juliet. From that moment everything went wrong. They fled from Verona. Harriet’s sketch-book was stolen, and the bottle of ammonia in her trunk burst over her prayer-book, so that purple patches appeared on all her clothes. Then, as she was going through Mantua at four in the morning, Philip made her look out of the window because it was Virgil’s birthplace, and a smut flew in her eye, and Harriet with a smut in her eye was notorious. At Bologna they stopped twenty-four hours to rest. It was a FESTA, and children blew bladder whistles night and day. “What a religion!” said Harriet. The hotel smelt, two puppies were asleep on her bed, and her bedroom window looked into a belfry, which saluted her slumbering form every quarter of an hour. Philip left his walking-stick, his socks, and the Baedeker at Bologna; she only left her sponge-bag. Next day they crossed the Apennines with a train-sick child and a hot lady, who told them that never, never before had she sweated so profusely. “Foreigners are a filthy nation,” said Harriet. “I don’t care if there are tunnels; open the windows.” He obeyed, and she got another smut in her eye. Nor did Florence improve matters. Eating, walking, even a cross word would bathe them both in boiling water. Philip, who was slighter of build, and less conscientious, suffered less. But Harriet had never been to Florence, and between the hours of eight and eleven she crawled like a wounded creature through the streets, and swooned before various masterpieces of art. It was an irritable couple who took tickets to Monteriano.
And on the second day, the heat hit them like a hand over their mouth, just as they were heading to see Juliet’s tomb. From that moment, everything went wrong. They fled Verona. Harriet’s sketchbook was stolen, and the bottle of ammonia in her suitcase burst all over her prayer book, leaving purple stains on all her clothes. Then, while passing through Mantua at four in the morning, Philip had her look out the window since it was Virgil’s birthplace, but a smut flew into her eye, making her infamous for having a smut in her eye. In Bologna, they stopped for twenty-four hours to rest. It was a FESTA, and kids blew bladder whistles day and night. “What a religion!” Harriet remarked. The hotel smelled bad, two puppies were sleeping on her bed, and her bedroom window faced a belfry that rang every quarter of an hour, waking her up. Philip left behind his walking stick, socks, and Baedeker in Bologna; she only forgot her sponge bag. The next day, they crossed the Apennines with a motion-sick child and a hot lady who told them she had never sweated so much before. “Foreigners are a filthy bunch,” Harriet said. “I don’t care if there are tunnels; open the windows.” He complied, and she got another smut in her eye. Florence didn’t improve things. Eating, walking, even a cross word would douse them both in sweat. Philip, who was slimmer and less serious, suffered less. But Harriet had never been to Florence, and between eight and eleven, she dragged herself through the streets like a wounded animal, fainting before various masterpieces of art. It was an irritable couple that bought tickets to Monteriano.
“Singles or returns?” said he.
"One-way or round-trip?" he asked.
“A single for me,” said Harriet peevishly; “I shall never get back alive.”
“A single for me,” Harriet said irritably; “I’ll never make it back alive.”
“Sweet creature!” said her brother, suddenly breaking down. “How helpful you will be when we come to Signor Carella!”
“Sweet creature!” her brother exclaimed, suddenly breaking down. “You’re going to be so helpful when we meet Signor Carella!”
“Do you suppose,” said Harriet, standing still among a whirl of porters—“do you suppose I am going to enter that man’s house?”
“Do you think,” said Harriet, standing still among a whirlwind of porters—“do you think I'm going to step into that guy's house?”
“Then what have you come for, pray? For ornament?”
“Then what have you come for, really? For decoration?”
“To see that you do your duty.”
“To make sure you do your duty.”
“Oh, thanks!”
“Thanks a lot!”
“So mother told me. For goodness sake get the tickets; here comes that hot woman again! She has the impudence to bow.”
“So Mom told me. For goodness' sake, get the tickets; here comes that attractive woman again! She has the nerve to bow.”
“Mother told you, did she?” said Philip wrathfully, as he went to struggle for tickets at a slit so narrow that they were handed to him edgeways. Italy was beastly, and Florence station is the centre of beastly Italy. But he had a strange feeling that he was to blame for it all; that a little influx into him of virtue would make the whole land not beastly but amusing. For there was enchantment, he was sure of that; solid enchantment, which lay behind the porters and the screaming and the dust. He could see it in the terrific blue sky beneath which they travelled, in the whitened plain which gripped life tighter than a frost, in the exhausted reaches of the Arno, in the ruins of brown castles which stood quivering upon the hills. He could see it, though his head ached and his skin was twitching, though he was here as a puppet, and though his sister knew how he was here. There was nothing pleasant in that journey to Monteriano station. But nothing—not even the discomfort—was commonplace.
“Did your mother tell you?” Philip said angrily as he struggled to get tickets from a slit so narrow that they were handed to him sideways. Italy was awful, and Florence station was the heart of awful Italy. But he had a strange feeling that it was all his fault; that a little dose of goodness within him could turn the whole place from awful to entertaining. He was certain there was magic, real magic, hidden behind the porters, the shouting, and the dust. He could see it in the intense blue sky they traveled under, in the parched plain that gripped life tighter than frost, in the tired stretches of the Arno, and in the crumbling brown castles that trembled on the hills. He could see it, even though his head throbbed and his skin twitched, even though he felt like a puppet and his sister knew how he felt. There was nothing enjoyable about that journey to Monteriano station. But nothing—not even the discomfort—was ordinary.
“But do people live inside?” asked Harriet. They had exchanged railway-carriage for the legno, and the legno had emerged from the withered trees, and had revealed to them their destination. Philip, to be annoying, answered “No.”
“But do people actually live there?” asked Harriet. They had switched from the train car to the legno, and the legno had come out from the bare trees, showing them their destination. Philip, wanting to be irritating, replied, “No.”
“What do they do there?” continued Harriet, with a frown.
“What are they doing there?” Harriet asked, frowning.
“There is a caffe. A prison. A theatre. A church. Walls. A view.”
“There’s a café. A prison. A theater. A church. Walls. A view.”
“Not for me, thank you,” said Harriet, after a weighty pause.
“Not for me, thanks,” said Harriet, after a long pause.
“Nobody asked you, Miss, you see. Now Lilia was asked by such a nice young gentleman, with curls all over his forehead, and teeth just as white as father makes them.” Then his manner changed. “But, Harriet, do you see nothing wonderful or attractive in that place—nothing at all?”
“Nobody asked you, Miss, you know. Now Lilia was asked by such a nice young guy, with curls all over his forehead, and teeth just as white as Dad makes them.” Then his tone shifted. “But, Harriet, don’t you find anything amazing or appealing about that place—nothing at all?”
“Nothing at all. It’s frightful.”
"Absolutely nothing. It's terrifying."
“I know it is. But it’s old—awfully old.”
“I know it is. But it’s really old—super old.”
“Beauty is the only test,” said Harriet. “At least so you told me when I sketched old buildings—for the sake, I suppose, of making yourself unpleasant.”
“Beauty is the only measure,” said Harriet. “At least that’s what you told me when I drew old buildings—for what I assume was to annoy you.”
“Oh, I’m perfectly right. But at the same time—I don’t know—so many things have happened here—people have lived so hard and so splendidly—I can’t explain.”
“Oh, I’m absolutely right. But at the same time—I don’t know—so many things have happened here—people have lived so intensely and remarkably—I can’t explain.”
“I shouldn’t think you could. It doesn’t seem the best moment to begin your Italy mania. I thought you were cured of it by now. Instead, will you kindly tell me what you are going to do when you arrive. I do beg you will not be taken unawares this time.”
“I don't think you could. It doesn’t seem like the best time to start your Italy obsession. I thought you were over it by now. Instead, could you please tell me what you plan to do when you get there? I really hope you won’t be caught off guard this time.”
“First, Harriet, I shall settle you at the Stella d’Italia, in the comfort that befits your sex and disposition. Then I shall make myself some tea. After tea I shall take a book into Santa Deodata’s, and read there. It is always fresh and cool.”
“First, Harriet, I’ll get you settled at the Stella d’Italia, in the comfort that suits your nature. Then I’ll make myself some tea. After tea, I'll take a book to Santa Deodata’s and read there. It’s always nice and cool.”
The martyred Harriet exclaimed, “I’m not clever, Philip. I don’t go in for it, as you know. But I know what’s rude. And I know what’s wrong.”
The martyred Harriet said, “I’m not smart, Philip. I’m not into that, as you know. But I know what’s rude. And I know what’s wrong.”
“Meaning—?”
"What's the meaning?"
“You!” she shouted, bouncing on the cushions of the legno and startling all the fleas. “What’s the good of cleverness if a man’s murdered a woman?”
“You!” she yelled, bouncing on the cushions of the wood and startling all the fleas. “What’s the point of being clever if a man has killed a woman?”
“Harriet, I am hot. To whom do you refer?”
“Harriet, I’m feeling hot. Who are you talking about?”
“He. Her. If you don’t look out he’ll murder you. I wish he would.”
“He. Her. If you're not careful, he’ll kill you. I wish he would.”
“Tut tut, tutlet! You’d find a corpse extraordinarily inconvenient.” Then he tried to be less aggravating. “I heartily dislike the fellow, but we know he didn’t murder her. In that letter, though she said a lot, she never said he was physically cruel.”
“Come on, that's ridiculous! You’d find a dead body really inconvenient.” Then he attempted to be less annoying. “I really can’t stand the guy, but we know he didn’t kill her. In that letter, even though she said a lot, she never claimed he was physically abusive.”
“He has murdered her. The things he did—things one can’t even mention—”
“He has killed her. The things he did—things you can’t even talk about—”
“Things which one must mention if one’s to talk at all. And things which one must keep in their proper place. Because he was unfaithful to his wife, it doesn’t follow that in every way he’s absolutely vile.” He looked at the city. It seemed to approve his remark.
“Things that you have to bring up if you're going to talk at all. And things that need to be kept in their right context. Just because he cheated on his wife doesn’t mean he’s completely horrible in every way.” He gazed at the city. It looked like it agreed with his statement.
“It’s the supreme test. The man who is unchivalrous to a woman—”
“It’s the ultimate test. A man who isn’t respectful to a woman—”
“Oh, stow it! Take it to the Back Kitchen. It’s no more a supreme test than anything else. The Italians never were chivalrous from the first. If you condemn him for that, you’ll condemn the whole lot.”
“Oh, shut up! Take it to the Back Kitchen. It’s no bigger deal than anything else. The Italians were never chivalrous to begin with. If you blame him for that, you’ll blame them all.”
“I condemn the whole lot.”
“I condemn the entire group.”
“And the French as well?”
"And the French too?"
“And the French as well.”
"And the French too."
“Things aren’t so jolly easy,” said Philip, more to himself than to her.
“Things aren’t so easy,” Philip said, more to himself than to her.
But for Harriet things were easy, though not jolly, and she turned upon her brother yet again. “What about the baby, pray? You’ve said a lot of smart things and whittled away morality and religion and I don’t know what; but what about the baby? You think me a fool, but I’ve been noticing you all today, and you haven’t mentioned the baby once. You haven’t thought about it, even. You don’t care. Philip! I shall not speak to you. You are intolerable.”
But for Harriet, things were straightforward, though not cheerful, and she confronted her brother once more. “What about the baby, seriously? You’ve said a lot of clever things and dismissed morality and religion and all that; but what about the baby? You think I’m an idiot, but I’ve been paying attention to you all day, and you haven’t mentioned the baby at all. You haven’t even thought about it. You don’t care. Philip! I won’t talk to you. You’re unbearable.”
She kept her promise, and never opened her lips all the rest of the way. But her eyes glowed with anger and resolution. For she was a straight, brave woman, as well as a peevish one.
She kept her promise and didn’t say a word for the rest of the journey. But her eyes sparkled with anger and determination. She was a straightforward, brave woman, as well as a bit irritable.
Philip acknowledged her reproof to be true. He did not care about the baby one straw. Nevertheless, he meant to do his duty, and he was fairly confident of success. If Gino would have sold his wife for a thousand lire, for how much less would he not sell his child? It was just a commercial transaction. Why should it interfere with other things? His eyes were fixed on the towers again, just as they had been fixed when he drove with Miss Abbott. But this time his thoughts were pleasanter, for he had no such grave business on his mind. It was in the spirit of the cultivated tourist that he approached his destination.
Philip accepted her criticism as valid. He didn’t care about the baby at all. Still, he intended to fulfill his responsibilities, and he felt pretty sure he would succeed. If Gino would sell his wife for a thousand lire, how much less would he sell his child for? It was just a business deal. Why should it affect anything else? His eyes were once again fixed on the towers, just as they had been when he drove with Miss Abbott. But this time his thoughts were more pleasant since he didn’t have any serious matters weighing on his mind. He approached his destination with the mindset of a cultured traveler.
One of the towers, rough as any other, was topped by a cross—the tower of the Collegiate Church of Santa Deodata. She was a holy maiden of the Dark Ages, the city’s patron saint, and sweetness and barbarity mingle strangely in her story. So holy was she that all her life she lay upon her back in the house of her mother, refusing to eat, refusing to play, refusing to work. The devil, envious of such sanctity, tempted her in various ways. He dangled grapes above her, he showed her fascinating toys, he pushed soft pillows beneath her aching head. When all proved vain he tripped up the mother and flung her downstairs before her very eyes. But so holy was the saint that she never picked her mother up, but lay upon her back through all, and thus assured her throne in Paradise. She was only fifteen when she died, which shows how much is within the reach of any school-girl. Those who think her life was unpractical need only think of the victories upon Poggibonsi, San Gemignano, Volterra, Siena itself—all gained through the invocation of her name; they need only look at the church which rose over her grave. The grand schemes for a marble facade were never carried out, and it is brown unfinished stone until this day. But for the inside Giotto was summoned to decorate the walls of the nave. Giotto came—that is to say, he did not come, German research having decisively proved—but at all events the nave is covered with frescoes, and so are two chapels in the left transept, and the arch into the choir, and there are scraps in the choir itself. There the decoration stopped, till in the full spring of the Renaissance a great painter came to pay a few weeks’ visit to his friend the Lord of Monteriano. In the intervals between the banquets and the discussions on Latin etymology and the dancing, he would stroll over to the church, and there in the fifth chapel to the right he has painted two frescoes of the death and burial of Santa Deodata. That is why Baedeker gives the place a star.
One of the towers, just like any other, was topped with a cross—the tower of the Collegiate Church of Santa Deodata. She was a holy young woman from the Dark Ages, the city’s patron saint, and there’s a strange mix of sweetness and brutality in her story. She was so holy that her entire life she lay on her back in her mother’s house, refusing to eat, play, or work. The devil, jealous of her sanctity, tempted her in various ways. He dangled grapes in front of her, showed her captivating toys, and placed soft pillows under her aching head. When none of that worked, he tripped her mother and threw her down the stairs right in front of Santa Deodata. But so holy was she that she never picked her mother up; she remained lying on her back through it all, securing her place in Paradise. She was only fifteen when she died, which shows what can be achieved even by a schoolgirl. Those who think her life was impractical only need to consider the victories at Poggibonsi, San Gemignano, Volterra, and even Siena—all won through her name's invocation; they just need to look at the church built over her grave. The grand plans for a marble facade were never realized, and it's still just brown unfinished stone to this day. But inside, Giotto was called to decorate the walls of the nave. Giotto came—that is to say, he didn’t come, as German research has conclusively shown—but anyway, the nave is filled with frescoes, as are two chapels in the left transept, and the arch leading to the choir, with some remnants in the choir itself. The decoration stopped there until the height of the Renaissance when a great painter visited his friend, the Lord of Monteriano, for a few weeks. Between banquets, discussions on Latin etymology, and dancing, he would wander over to the church, and in the fifth chapel on the right, he painted two frescoes depicting the death and burial of Santa Deodata. That’s why Baedeker gives the place a star.
Santa Deodata was better company than Harriet, and she kept Philip in a pleasant dream until the legno drew up at the hotel. Every one there was asleep, for it was still the hour when only idiots were moving. There were not even any beggars about. The cabman put their bags down in the passage—they had left heavy luggage at the station—and strolled about till he came on the landlady’s room and woke her, and sent her to them.
Santa Deodata was more enjoyable to be around than Harriet, and she kept Philip in a nice daydream until the cab pulled up at the hotel. Everyone there was asleep because it was still the time when only fools were out and about. There weren't even any beggars around. The driver set their bags down in the hallway—they had left the heavier luggage at the station—and wandered around until he found the landlady's room, woke her up, and sent her to them.
Then Harriet pronounced the monosyllable “Go!”
Then Harriet said the single word, “Go!”
“Go where?” asked Philip, bowing to the landlady, who was swimming down the stairs.
“Go where?” Philip asked, bowing to the landlady, who was gliding down the stairs.
“To the Italian. Go.”
"To the Italian. Go."
“Buona sera, signora padrona. Si ritorna volontieri a Monteriano!” (Don’t be a goose. I’m not going now. You’re in the way, too.) “Vorrei due camere—”
“Good evening, madam. It's nice to be back in Monteriano!” (Don’t be silly. I’m not going now. You're in the way, too.) “I would like two rooms—”
“Go. This instant. Now. I’ll stand it no longer. Go!”
“Go. Right now. I can’t take it anymore. Just go!”
“I’m damned if I’ll go. I want my tea.”
“I refuse to go. I want my tea.”
“Swear if you like!” she cried. “Blaspheme! Abuse me! But understand, I’m in earnest.”
“Go ahead and swear if you want!” she exclaimed. “Curse! Insult me! But just know, I’m serious.”
“Harriet, don’t act. Or act better.”
“Harriet, don’t fake it. Or do a better job of it.”
“We’ve come here to get the baby back, and for nothing else. I’ll not have this levity and slackness, and talk about pictures and churches. Think of mother; did she send you out for THEM?”
“We’re here to get the baby back, and nothing else. I won’t tolerate this joking around and slack attitude, talking about pictures and churches. Think about mom; did she send you out for THAT?”
“Think of mother and don’t straddle across the stairs. Let the cabman and the landlady come down, and let me go up and choose rooms.”
“Think of Mom and don’t block the stairs. Let the cab driver and the landlady come down, and let me go up and pick rooms.”
“I shan’t.”
“I won't.”
“Harriet, are you mad?”
"Harriet, are you crazy?"
“If you like. But you will not come up till you have seen the Italian.”
“If you want. But you won’t come up until you’ve seen the Italian.”
“La signorina si sente male,” said Philip, “C’ e il sole.”
“Miss is feeling unwell,” said Philip, “It’s sunny outside.”
“Poveretta!” cried the landlady and the cabman.
“Poveretta!” cried the landlord and the cab driver.
“Leave me alone!” said Harriet, snarling round at them. “I don’t care for the lot of you. I’m English, and neither you’ll come down nor he up till he goes for the baby.”
“Leave me alone!” Harriet snapped at them. “I don’t care about any of you. I’m English, and neither you are coming down nor he is coming up until he goes for the baby.”
“La prego-piano-piano-c e un’ altra signorina che dorme—”
“La prego-piano-piano-c e un’ altra signorina che dorme—”
“We shall probably be arrested for brawling, Harriet. Have you the very slightest sense of the ludicrous?”
“We're probably going to get arrested for fighting, Harriet. Do you have any idea how ridiculous this is?”
Harriet had not; that was why she could be so powerful. She had concocted this scene in the carriage, and nothing should baulk her of it. To the abuse in front and the coaxing behind she was equally indifferent. How long she would have stood like a glorified Horatius, keeping the staircase at both ends, was never to be known. For the young lady, whose sleep they were disturbing, awoke and opened her bedroom door, and came out on to the landing. She was Miss Abbott.
Harriet hadn't; that was why she could be so powerful. She had created this scene in the carriage, and nothing would stop her. She was equally unconcerned about the insults in front and the flattery behind. How long she would have stood there like a glorified Horatius, guarding both ends of the staircase, would never be known. For the young woman whose sleep they were disturbing woke up, opened her bedroom door, and stepped out onto the landing. She was Miss Abbott.
Philip’s first coherent feeling was one of indignation. To be run by his mother and hectored by his sister was as much as he could stand. The intervention of a third female drove him suddenly beyond politeness. He was about to say exactly what he thought about the thing from beginning to end. But before he could do so Harriet also had seen Miss Abbott. She uttered a shrill cry of joy.
Philip’s first clear feeling was one of anger. Being controlled by his mother and nagged by his sister was more than he could handle. The addition of a third woman pushed him past the point of politeness. He was about to speak his mind about the whole situation. But before he could, Harriet also spotted Miss Abbott. She let out a loud cry of excitement.
“You, Caroline, here of all people!” And in spite of the heat she darted up the stairs and imprinted an affectionate kiss upon her friend.
“You, Caroline, here of all people!” And despite the heat, she rushed up the stairs and gave her friend a warm kiss.
Philip had an inspiration. “You will have a lot to tell Miss Abbott, Harriet, and she may have as much to tell you. So I’ll pay my call on Signor Carella, as you suggested, and see how things stand.”
Philip had an idea. “You’ll have a lot to share with Miss Abbott, Harriet, and she might have just as much to share with you. So I’ll visit Signor Carella, like you suggested, and see how things are going.”
Miss Abbott uttered some noise of greeting or alarm. He did not reply to it or approach nearer to her. Without even paying the cabman, he escaped into the street.
Miss Abbott made a sound of greeting or concern. He didn't respond or get any closer to her. Without even paying the cab driver, he took off into the street.
“Tear each other’s eyes out!” he cried, gesticulating at the facade of the hotel. “Give it to her, Harriet! Teach her to leave us alone. Give it to her, Caroline! Teach her to be grateful to you. Go it, ladies; go it!”
“Tear each other’s eyes out!” he shouted, waving towards the hotel’s front. “Show her what’s up, Harriet! Teach her to stop bothering us. Show her what’s up, Caroline! Teach her to appreciate you. Go for it, ladies; go for it!”
Such people as observed him were interested, but did not conclude that he was mad. This aftermath of conversation is not unknown in Italy.
People who observed him were interested, but they didn’t think he was crazy. This kind of conversation isn’t uncommon in Italy.
He tried to think how amusing it was; but it would not do—Miss Abbott’s presence affected him too personally. Either she suspected him of dishonesty, or else she was being dishonest herself. He preferred to suppose the latter. Perhaps she had seen Gino, and they had prepared some elaborate mortification for the Herritons. Perhaps Gino had sold the baby cheap to her for a joke: it was just the kind of joke that would appeal to him. Philip still remembered the laughter that had greeted his fruitless journey, and the uncouth push that had toppled him on to the bed. And whatever it might mean, Miss Abbott’s presence spoilt the comedy: she would do nothing funny.
He tried to think about how funny it was, but it just didn't sit right—Miss Abbott's presence affected him too much. Either she thought he was being dishonest, or she was being dishonest herself. He preferred to think it was the latter. Maybe she had seen Gino, and they had come up with some elaborate embarrassment for the Herritons. Maybe Gino had sold the baby to her for a laugh: it was exactly the kind of joke he would find funny. Philip still remembered the laughter that had followed his pointless journey and the awkward shove that had knocked him onto the bed. And no matter what it meant, Miss Abbott's presence ruined the comedy: she wouldn't do anything funny.
During this short meditation he had walked through the city, and was out on the other side. “Where does Signor Carella live?” he asked the men at the Dogana.
During this quick meditation, he had walked through the city and was now on the other side. "Where does Signor Carella live?" he asked the guys at the Dogana.
“I’ll show you,” said a little girl, springing out of the ground as Italian children will.
“I’ll show you,” said a little girl, jumping up from the ground like Italian kids do.
“She will show you,” said the Dogana men, nodding reassuringly. “Follow her always, always, and you will come to no harm. She is a trustworthy guide. She is my
“She will show you,” said the Dogana men, nodding reassuringly. “Follow her always, always, and you will come to no harm. She is a trustworthy guide. She is my
daughter.” cousin.” sister.”
daughter. cousin. sister.
Philip knew these relatives well: they ramify, if need be, all over the peninsula.
Philip knew these relatives well: they spread out, if necessary, all over the peninsula.
“Do you chance to know whether Signor Carella is in?” he asked her.
“Do you happen to know if Mr. Carella is in?” he asked her.
She had just seen him go in. Philip nodded. He was looking forward to the interview this time: it would be an intellectual duet with a man of no great intellect. What was Miss Abbott up to? That was one of the things he was going to discover. While she had it out with Harriet, he would have it out with Gino. He followed the Dogana’s relative softly, like a diplomatist.
She had just watched him go inside. Philip nodded. He was actually looking forward to the interview this time: it would be an intellectual exchange with a man who wasn’t particularly smart. What was Miss Abbott up to? That was one of the things he was planning to find out. While she dealt with Harriet, he would handle Gino. He followed the Dogana’s relative quietly, like a diplomat.
He did not follow her long, for this was the Volterra gate, and the house was exactly opposite to it. In half a minute they had scrambled down the mule-track and reached the only practicable entrance. Philip laughed, partly at the thought of Lilia in such a building, partly in the confidence of victory. Meanwhile the Dogana’s relative lifted up her voice and gave a shout.
He didn't follow her for long, because this was the Volterra gate, and the house was right across from it. In half a minute, they had hurried down the mule-path and reached the only usable entrance. Philip laughed, partly at the idea of Lilia in such a building, partly feeling confident about winning. Meanwhile, the Dogana’s relative raised her voice and shouted.
For an impressive interval there was no reply. Then the figure of a woman appeared high up on the loggia.
For a surprising moment, there was no response. Then, a woman appeared high up on the balcony.
“That is Perfetta,” said the girl.
"That's perfect," said the girl.
“I want to see Signor Carella,” cried Philip.
“I want to see Mr. Carella,” cried Philip.
“Out!”
"Get out!"
“Out,” echoed the girl complacently.
“Out,” the girl said confidently.
“Why on earth did you say he was in?” He could have strangled her for temper. He had been just ripe for an interview—just the right combination of indignation and acuteness: blood hot, brain cool. But nothing ever did go right in Monteriano. “When will he be back?” he called to Perfetta. It really was too bad.
“Why on earth did you say he was here?” He could have strangled her out of frustration. He was perfectly set for an interview—just the right mix of anger and sharpness: blood boiling, mind calm. But nothing ever went right in Monteriano. “When will he be back?” he shouted to Perfetta. It was really a shame.
She did not know. He was away on business. He might be back this evening, he might not. He had gone to Poggibonsi.
She didn’t know. He was away on a work trip. He might be back this evening, or he might not. He had gone to Poggibonsi.
At the sound of this word the little girl put her fingers to her nose and swept them at the plain. She sang as she did so, even as her foremothers had sung seven hundred years back—
At the sound of this word, the little girl touched her nose and waved her fingers at the plain. She sang as she did, just like her foremothers had sung seven hundred years ago—
Poggibonizzi, fatti in la, Che Monteriano si fa citta!
Poggibonizzi, look at that, Monteriano is becoming a city!
Then she asked Philip for a halfpenny. A German lady, friendly to the Past, had given her one that very spring.
Then she asked Philip for a penny. A German lady, who was fond of the Past, had given her one just that spring.
“I shall have to leave a message,” he called.
“I need to leave a message,” he called.
“Now Perfetta has gone for her basket,” said the little girl. “When she returns she will lower it—so. Then you will put your card into it. Then she will raise it—thus. By this means—”
“Now Perfetta has gone for her basket,” said the little girl. “When she comes back, she will lower it—like this. Then you’ll put your card into it. After that, she will raise it—like this. This way—”
When Perfetta returned, Philip remembered to ask after the baby. It took longer to find than the basket, and he stood perspiring in the evening sun, trying to avoid the smell of the drains and to prevent the little girl from singing against Poggibonsi. The olive-trees beside him were draped with the weekly—or more probably the monthly—wash. What a frightful spotty blouse! He could not think where he had seen it. Then he remembered that it was Lilia’s. She had brought it “to hack about in” at Sawston, and had taken it to Italy because “in Italy anything does.” He had rebuked her for the sentiment.
When Perfetta came back, Philip remembered to ask about the baby. It took longer to find than the basket, and he stood sweating in the evening sun, trying to avoid the smell of the drains and to keep the little girl from singing about Poggibonsi. The olive trees next to him were covered with laundry that had probably been hung for weeks. What an awful spotted blouse! He couldn’t remember where he had seen it before. Then it hit him: it was Lilia’s. She had brought it “to mess around in” at Sawston and had taken it to Italy because “in Italy anything goes.” He had scolded her for being sentimental.
“Beautiful as an angel!” bellowed Perfetta, holding out something which must be Lilia’s baby. “But who am I addressing?”
“Beautiful as an angel!” shouted Perfetta, holding out something that must be Lilia’s baby. “But who am I talking to?”
“Thank you—here is my card.” He had written on it a civil request to Gino for an interview next morning. But before he placed it in the basket and revealed his identity, he wished to find something out. “Has a young lady happened to call here lately—a young English lady?”
“Thank you—here's my card.” He had written on it a polite request to Gino for an interview the next morning. But before he put it in the basket and revealed who he was, he wanted to find out something. “Has a young lady called here recently—a young English lady?”
Perfetta begged his pardon: she was a little deaf.
Perfetta apologized: she was a bit hard of hearing.
“A young lady—pale, large, tall.”
“A young woman—pale, big, tall.”
She did not quite catch.
She didn't quite get it.
“A YOUNG LADY!”
“A young woman!”
“Perfetta is deaf when she chooses,” said the Dogana’s relative. At last Philip admitted the peculiarity and strode away. He paid off the detestable child at the Volterra gate. She got two nickel pieces and was not pleased, partly because it was too much, partly because he did not look pleased when he gave it to her. He caught her fathers and cousins winking at each other as he walked past them. Monteriano seemed in one conspiracy to make him look a fool. He felt tired and anxious and muddled, and not sure of anything except that his temper was lost. In this mood he returned to the Stella d’Italia, and there, as he was ascending the stairs, Miss Abbott popped out of the dining-room on the first floor and beckoned to him mysteriously.
“Perfetta is deaf when she wants to be,” said the Dogana’s relative. Finally, Philip acknowledged the oddity and walked away. He paid off the annoying child at the Volterra gate. She received two nickels and wasn’t happy, partly because it was too much and partly because he didn’t seem pleased when he gave it to her. He noticed her father and cousins winking at each other as he passed by. Monteriano appeared to be in a collective effort to make him look foolish. He felt tired, anxious, confused, and unsure about anything except that he had lost his temper. In this state, he returned to the Stella d’Italia, and there, as he was going up the stairs, Miss Abbott emerged from the dining room on the first floor and signaled for him to come over with a mysterious gesture.
“I was going to make myself some tea,” he said, with his hand still on the banisters.
“I was going to make myself some tea,” he said, with his hand still on the banister.
“I should be grateful—”
"I should be thankful—"
So he followed her into the dining-room and shut the door.
So he followed her into the dining room and shut the door.
“You see,” she began, “Harriet knows nothing.”
“You see,” she started, “Harriet doesn’t know anything.”
“No more do I. He was out.”
“No longer do I. He was out.”
“But what’s that to do with it?”
“But what does that have to do with anything?”
He presented her with an unpleasant smile. She fenced well, as he had noticed before. “He was out. You find me as ignorant as you have left Harriet.”
He gave her a forced smile. She was a good fencer, as he had noticed before. “He was out. You think I’m as clueless as you’ve left Harriet.”
“What do you mean? Please, please Mr. Herriton, don’t be mysterious: there isn’t the time. Any moment Harriet may be down, and we shan’t have decided how to behave to her. Sawston was different: we had to keep up appearances. But here we must speak out, and I think I can trust you to do it. Otherwise we’ll never start clear.”
“What do you mean? Please, Mr. Herriton, don’t be mysterious; we don’t have time. Any moment now, Harriet could come down, and we still haven’t figured out how to act around her. Sawston was different; we had to maintain appearances. But here we need to be open, and I think I can trust you to do that. Otherwise, we’ll never get off on the right foot.”
“Pray let us start clear,” said Philip, pacing up and down the room. “Permit me to begin by asking you a question. In which capacity have you come to Monteriano—spy or traitor?”
“Let’s get started clearly,” said Philip, pacing the room. “Can I begin by asking you a question? Why have you come to Monteriano—are you a spy or a traitor?”
“Spy!” she answered, without a moment’s hesitation. She was standing by the little Gothic window as she spoke—the hotel had been a palace once—and with her finger she was following the curves of the moulding as if they might feel beautiful and strange. “Spy,” she repeated, for Philip was bewildered at learning her guilt so easily, and could not answer a word. “Your mother has behaved dishonourably all through. She never wanted the child; no harm in that; but she is too proud to let it come to me. She has done all she could to wreck things; she did not tell you everything; she has told Harriet nothing at all; she has lied or acted lies everywhere. I cannot trust your mother. So I have come here alone—all across Europe; no one knows it; my father thinks I am in Normandy—to spy on Mrs. Herriton. Don’t let’s argue!” for he had begun, almost mechanically, to rebuke her for impertinence. “If you are here to get the child, I will help you; if you are here to fail, I shall get it instead of you.”
“Spy!” she replied, without a second thought. She was standing by the small Gothic window as she spoke—the hotel used to be a palace—and she traced the curves of the molding with her finger as if they might feel beautiful and strange. “Spy,” she repeated, since Philip was shocked to discover her guilt so easily and couldn’t find the words to respond. “Your mother has acted dishonorably all along. She never wanted the child; no harm in that; but she’s too proud to let it come to me. She has done everything possible to sabotage things; she hasn’t told you the whole story; she hasn’t told Harriet anything at all; she has lied or acted deceitfully everywhere. I can’t trust your mother. So I’ve come here alone—all the way across Europe; no one knows it; my father thinks I’m in Normandy—to spy on Mrs. Herriton. Don’t let’s argue!” For he had started, almost automatically, to scold her for her impertinence. “If you’re here to get the child, I’ll help you; if you’re here to fail, I’ll take it instead of you.”
“It is hopeless to expect you to believe me,” he stammered. “But I can assert that we are here to get the child, even if it costs us all we’ve got. My mother has fixed no money limit whatever. I am here to carry out her instructions. I think that you will approve of them, as you have practically dictated them. I do not approve of them. They are absurd.”
“It’s pointless to expect you to believe me,” he stammered. “But I can say that we’re here to get the child, even if it costs us everything we have. My mother hasn’t set any money limit at all. I'm here to follow her orders. I think you’ll agree with them since you basically helped create them. I don't agree with them. They’re ridiculous.”
She nodded carelessly. She did not mind what he said. All she wanted was to get the baby out of Monteriano.
She nodded dismissively. She didn't care about what he said. All she wanted was to get the baby out of Monteriano.
“Harriet also carries out your instructions,” he continued. “She, however, approves of them, and does not know that they proceed from you. I think, Miss Abbott, you had better take entire charge of the rescue party. I have asked for an interview with Signor Carella tomorrow morning. Do you acquiesce?”
“Harriet also follows your instructions,” he continued. “She, however, agrees with them and doesn't know they come from you. I think, Miss Abbott, you should take full control of the rescue party. I've requested a meeting with Signor Carella tomorrow morning. Do you agree?”
She nodded again.
She nodded once more.
“Might I ask for details of your interview with him? They might be helpful to me.”
“Could you share the details of your interview with him? They might help me.”
He had spoken at random. To his delight she suddenly collapsed. Her hand fell from the window. Her face was red with more than the reflection of evening.
He had spoken without thinking. To his surprise, she suddenly fainted. Her hand dropped from the window. Her face was flushed with more than just the evening light.
“My interview—how do you know of it?”
“My interview—how do you know about it?”
“From Perfetta, if it interests you.”
"From Perfetta, if you're into it."
“Who ever is Perfetta?”
“Who is Perfetta?”
“The woman who must have let you in.”
“The woman who must have let you in.”
“In where?”
“In which location?”
“Into Signor Carella’s house.”
"Into Mr. Carella's house."
“Mr. Herriton!” she exclaimed. “How could you believe her? Do you suppose that I would have entered that man’s house, knowing about him all that I do? I think you have very odd ideas of what is possible for a lady. I hear you wanted Harriet to go. Very properly she refused. Eighteen months ago I might have done such a thing. But I trust I have learnt how to behave by now.”
“Mr. Herriton!” she exclaimed. “How could you believe her? Do you think I would have gone into that man’s house, knowing everything I do about him? I really think you have some strange ideas about what a lady is capable of. I heard you wanted Harriet to go. She rightly refused. Eighteen months ago, I might have done something like that. But I believe I’ve learned how to act by now.”
Philip began to see that there were two Miss Abbotts—the Miss Abbott who could travel alone to Monteriano, and the Miss Abbott who could not enter Gino’s house when she got there. It was an amusing discovery. Which of them would respond to his next move?
Philip started to realize that there were two Miss Abbotts—the Miss Abbott who could travel alone to Monteriano, and the Miss Abbott who couldn’t enter Gino’s house when she arrived. It was an amusing discovery. Which version of her would react to his next move?
“I suppose I misunderstood Perfetta. Where did you have your interview, then?”
“I guess I misunderstood Perfetta. So where did you have your interview, then?”
“Not an interview—an accident—I am very sorry—I meant you to have the chance of seeing him first. Though it is your fault. You are a day late. You were due here yesterday. So I came yesterday, and, not finding you, went up to the Rocca—you know that kitchen-garden where they let you in, and there is a ladder up to a broken tower, where you can stand and see all the other towers below you and the plain and all the other hills?”
“Not an interview—just a mistake—I’m really sorry—I wanted you to have the chance to see him first. But it’s your fault. You’re a day late. You were supposed to be here yesterday. So I came yesterday, and since I didn’t find you, I went up to the Rocca—you know, that kitchen garden where they let you in? There’s a ladder to a broken tower where you can stand and see all the other towers below you, the plain, and all the other hills?”
“Yes, yes. I know the Rocca; I told you of it.”
“Yeah, I know the Rocca; I mentioned it to you.”
“So I went up in the evening for the sunset: I had nothing to do. He was in the garden: it belongs to a friend of his.”
“So I went out in the evening to catch the sunset: I had nothing going on. He was in the garden: it belongs to a friend of his.”
“And you talked.”
"And you spoke."
“It was very awkward for me. But I had to talk: he seemed to make me. You see he thought I was here as a tourist; he thinks so still. He intended to be civil, and I judged it better to be civil also.”
“It was really uncomfortable for me. But I had to say something: it felt like he was pushing me to. You see, he thought I was here as a tourist; he still thinks that. He meant to be polite, and I figured it was better to be polite too.”
“And of what did you talk?”
“And what did you talk about?”
“The weather—there will be rain, he says, by tomorrow evening—the other towns, England, myself, about you a little, and he actually mentioned Lilia. He was perfectly disgusting; he pretended he loved her; he offered to show me her grave—the grave of the woman he has murdered!”
“The weather—he says it’ll be raining by tomorrow evening—the other towns, England, myself, a bit about you, and he actually brought up Lilia. He was absolutely revolting; he acted like he loved her; he offered to take me to her grave—the grave of the woman he killed!”
“My dear Miss Abbott, he is not a murderer. I have just been driving that into Harriet. And when you know the Italians as well as I do, you will realize that in all that he said to you he was perfectly sincere. The Italians are essentially dramatic; they look on death and love as spectacles. I don’t doubt that he persuaded himself, for the moment, that he had behaved admirably, both as husband and widower.”
“My dear Miss Abbott, he’s not a murderer. I’ve just been trying to make Harriet understand that. When you get to know Italians like I do, you’ll see that everything he said to you was completely sincere. Italians are naturally dramatic; they see death and love as performances. I’m sure he convinced himself, for a moment, that he acted perfectly, both as a husband and as a widower.”
“You may be right,” said Miss Abbott, impressed for the first time. “When I tried to pave the way, so to speak—to hint that he had not behaved as he ought—well, it was no good at all. He couldn’t or wouldn’t understand.”
“You might be right,” said Miss Abbott, genuinely impressed for the first time. “When I tried to make things easier, so to speak—to suggest that he hadn’t acted as he should’ve—well, it was completely pointless. He just couldn’t or wouldn’t get it.”
There was something very humorous in the idea of Miss Abbott approaching Gino, on the Rocca, in the spirit of a district visitor. Philip, whose temper was returning, laughed.
There was something quite amusing about the idea of Miss Abbott approaching Gino, on the Rocca, like a neighborhood volunteer. Philip, whose mood was improving, laughed.
“Harriet would say he has no sense of sin.”
“Harriet would say he has no sense of right and wrong.”
“Harriet may be right, I am afraid.”
“Harriet might be right, I'm afraid.”
“If so, perhaps he isn’t sinful!”
“If so, maybe he isn’t guilty!”
Miss Abbott was not one to encourage levity. “I know what he has done,” she said. “What he says and what he thinks is of very little importance.”
Miss Abbott wasn't one to promote lightheartedness. “I know what he's done,” she said. “What he says and what he thinks doesn't really matter.”
Philip smiled at her crudity. “I should like to hear, though, what he said about me. Is he preparing a warm reception?”
Philip smiled at her bluntness. “I’d like to hear what he said about me. Is he getting ready to welcome me?”
“Oh, no, not that. I never told him that you and Harriet were coming. You could have taken him by surprise if you liked. He only asked for you, and wished he hadn’t been so rude to you eighteen months ago.”
“Oh, no, not that. I never told him that you and Harriet were coming. You could have surprised him if you wanted. He only asked for you and wished he hadn’t been so rude to you a year and a half ago.”
“What a memory the fellow has for little things!” He turned away as he spoke, for he did not want her to see his face. It was suffused with pleasure. For an apology, which would have been intolerable eighteen months ago, was gracious and agreeable now.
“What a great memory he has for small details!” He turned away as he said this because he didn’t want her to see his face. It was filled with joy. An apology, which would have been unacceptable eighteen months ago, felt kind and pleasant now.
She would not let this pass. “You did not think it a little thing at the time. You told me he had assaulted you.”
She wasn't going to let this slide. “You didn't think it was a small deal back then. You told me he had attacked you.”
“I lost my temper,” said Philip lightly. His vanity had been appeased, and he knew it. This tiny piece of civility had changed his mood. “Did he really—what exactly did he say?”
“I lost my temper,” Philip said casually. His vanity had been satisfied, and he was aware of it. This small act of politeness had shifted his mood. “Did he really—what exactly did he say?”
“He said he was sorry—pleasantly, as Italians do say such things. But he never mentioned the baby once.”
“He said he was sorry—nicely, like Italians usually do. But he never brought up the baby at all.”
What did the baby matter when the world was suddenly right way up? Philip smiled, and was shocked at himself for smiling, and smiled again. For romance had come back to Italy; there were no cads in her; she was beautiful, courteous, lovable, as of old. And Miss Abbott—she, too, was beautiful in her way, for all her gaucheness and conventionality. She really cared about life, and tried to live it properly. And Harriet—even Harriet tried.
What did the baby matter now that the world had suddenly been set right? Philip smiled, surprised at himself for smiling, and smiled again. Romance had returned to Italy; there were no jerks around her; she was beautiful, kind, and lovable, just like before. And Miss Abbott—she was beautiful in her own way, despite her awkwardness and conventionality. She genuinely cared about life and made an effort to live it well. And Harriet—even Harriet made an effort.
This admirable change in Philip proceeds from nothing admirable, and may therefore provoke the gibes of the cynical. But angels and other practical people will accept it reverently, and write it down as good.
This admirable change in Philip comes from nothing praiseworthy, and may therefore draw the mockery of the cynical. But angels and other sensible people will accept it respectfully and note it as a positive development.
“The view from the Rocca (small gratuity) is finest at sunset,” he murmured, more to himself than to her.
“The view from the Rocca (small tip) is best at sunset,” he murmured, more to himself than to her.
“And he never mentioned the baby once,” Miss Abbott repeated. But she had returned to the window, and again her finger pursued the delicate curves. He watched her in silence, and was more attracted to her than he had ever been before. She really was the strangest mixture.
“And he never mentioned the baby once,” Miss Abbott repeated. But she had returned to the window, and again her finger traced the delicate curves. He watched her in silence and felt more drawn to her than he ever had before. She really was the oddest mix.
“The view from the Rocca—wasn’t it fine?”
“The view from the Rocca—wasn’t it great?”
“What isn’t fine here?” she answered gently, and then added, “I wish I was Harriet,” throwing an extraordinary meaning into the words.
“What's not fine here?” she replied softly, and then added, “I wish I were Harriet,” giving those words an incredible weight.
“Because Harriet—?”
“Why Harriet—?”
She would not go further, but he believed that she had paid homage to the complexity of life. For her, at all events, the expedition was neither easy nor jolly. Beauty, evil, charm, vulgarity, mystery—she also acknowledged this tangle, in spite of herself. And her voice thrilled him when she broke silence with “Mr. Herriton—come here—look at this!”
She wouldn’t go any further, but he thought she had recognized the complexity of life. For her, at least, the journey was neither easy nor fun. Beauty, evil, charm, vulgarity, mystery—she had to admit this mess, even if she didn’t want to. And her voice excited him when she finally spoke up with, “Mr. Herriton—come here—look at this!”
She removed a pile of plates from the Gothic window, and they leant out of it. Close opposite, wedged between mean houses, there rose up one of the great towers. It is your tower: you stretch a barricade between it and the hotel, and the traffic is blocked in a moment. Farther up, where the street empties out by the church, your connections, the Merli and the Capocchi, do likewise. They command the Piazza, you the Siena gate. No one can move in either but he shall be instantly slain, either by bows or by crossbows, or by Greek fire. Beware, however, of the back bedroom windows. For they are menaced by the tower of the Aldobrandeschi, and before now arrows have stuck quivering over the washstand. Guard these windows well, lest there be a repetition of the events of February 1338, when the hotel was surprised from the rear, and your dearest friend—you could just make out that it was he—was thrown at you over the stairs.
She took away a stack of plates from the Gothic window, and they hung out of it. Directly across, crammed between shabby buildings, one of the great towers rose up. It’s your tower: you set up a barricade between it and the hotel, and traffic comes to a standstill in no time. Further up, where the street opens out by the church, your allies, the Merli and the Capocchi, do the same. They control the Piazza, while you control the Siena gate. No one can move in either direction without being instantly attacked, either by arrows or crossbows, or by Greek fire. Be cautious, though, of the back bedroom windows. They are threatened by the tower of the Aldobrandeschi, and in the past, arrows have landed quivering over the washstand. Keep these windows secure, or you might relive the events of February 1338, when the hotel was ambushed from the back, and your closest friend—you could barely recognize him—was thrown at you down the stairs.
“It reaches up to heaven,” said Philip, “and down to the other place.” The summit of the tower was radiant in the sun, while its base was in shadow and pasted over with advertisements. “Is it to be a symbol of the town?”
“It reaches up to heaven,” Philip said, “and down to the other place.” The top of the tower shone in the sunlight, while its bottom was in shadow and covered with ads. “Is it meant to be a symbol of the town?”
She gave no hint that she understood him. But they remained together at the window because it was a little cooler and so pleasant. Philip found a certain grace and lightness in his companion which he had never noticed in England. She was appallingly narrow, but her consciousness of wider things gave to her narrowness a pathetic charm. He did not suspect that he was more graceful too. For our vanity is such that we hold our own characters immutable, and we are slow to acknowledge that they have changed, even for the better.
She gave no indication that she understood him. But they stayed together at the window because it was a bit cooler and really nice. Philip noticed a certain grace and lightness in his companion that he had never seen in England. She was incredibly narrow-minded, but her awareness of broader ideas made her narrowness oddly charming. He didn’t realize that he had become more graceful as well. Our vanity makes us believe our personalities are fixed, and we’re slow to admit that they have changed, even for the better.
Citizens came out for a little stroll before dinner. Some of them stood and gazed at the advertisements on the tower.
Citizens went out for a quick walk before dinner. Some of them stood and looked at the ads on the tower.
“Surely that isn’t an opera-bill?” said Miss Abbott.
“Surely that isn’t an opera schedule?” said Miss Abbott.
Philip put on his pince-nez. “‘Lucia di Lammermoor. By the Master Donizetti. Unique representation. This evening.’
Philip put on his pince-nez. “‘Lucia di Lammermoor. By the Master Donizetti. One-of-a-kind performance. Tonight.’”
“But is there an opera? Right up here?”
“But is there an opera? Right up here?”
“Why, yes. These people know how to live. They would sooner have a thing bad than not have it at all. That is why they have got to have so much that is good. However bad the performance is tonight, it will be alive. Italians don’t love music silently, like the beastly Germans. The audience takes its share—sometimes more.”
“Of course. These people know how to enjoy life. They would rather experience something negative than miss out on it altogether. That’s why they end up with so much that’s wonderful. No matter how poor the performance is tonight, it will still be vibrant. Italians don’t appreciate music quietly, like the awful Germans. The audience really gets involved—sometimes even more than the performers.”
“Can’t we go?”
"Can we go?"
He turned on her, but not unkindly. “But we’re here to rescue a child!”
He faced her, but not in a mean way. “But we’re here to save a kid!”
He cursed himself for the remark. All the pleasure and the light went out of her face, and she became again Miss Abbott of Sawston—good, oh, most undoubtedly good, but most appallingly dull. Dull and remorseful: it is a deadly combination, and he strove against it in vain till he was interrupted by the opening of the dining-room door.
He cursed himself for that comment. All the joy and brightness disappeared from her face, and she turned back into Miss Abbott of Sawston—good, definitely good, but incredibly boring. Boring and regretful: it's a lethal combo, and he struggled against it in vain until he was interrupted by the dining-room door opening.
They started as guiltily as if they had been flirting. Their interview had taken such an unexpected course. Anger, cynicism, stubborn morality—all had ended in a feeling of good-will towards each other and towards the city which had received them. And now Harriet was here—acrid, indissoluble, large; the same in Italy as in England—changing her disposition never, and her atmosphere under protest.
They began as awkwardly as if they had been flirting. Their conversation had taken such an unexpected turn. Anger, cynicism, stubborn morals—all of it had led to a sense of goodwill between them and towards the city that had welcomed them. And now Harriet was here—sharp, unyielding, imposing; the same in Italy as in England—never changing her demeanor, and her presence felt like a burden.
Yet even Harriet was human, and the better for a little tea. She did not scold Philip for finding Gino out, as she might reasonably have done. She showered civilities on Miss Abbott, exclaiming again and again that Caroline’s visit was one of the most fortunate coincidences in the world. Caroline did not contradict her.
Yet even Harriet was human, and a little tea did her good. She didn’t scold Philip for figuring out Gino, as she could have. Instead, she was polite to Miss Abbott, repeatedly saying that Caroline’s visit was one of the best coincidences ever. Caroline didn’t argue with her.
“You see him tomorrow at ten, Philip. Well, don’t forget the blank cheque. Say an hour for the business. No, Italians are so slow; say two. Twelve o’clock. Lunch. Well—then it’s no good going till the evening train. I can manage the baby as far as Florence—”
“You'll see him tomorrow at ten, Philip. Don’t forget the blank check. Say the meeting will take about an hour for business. No, Italians are really slow; let’s say two hours. Twelve o’clock for lunch. Well—then it’s not worth it to go until the evening train. I can handle the baby as far as Florence—”
“My dear sister, you can’t run on like that. You don’t buy a pair of gloves in two hours, much less a baby.”
“My dear sister, you can’t keep talking like that. You don’t buy a pair of gloves in two hours, let alone a baby.”
“Three hours, then, or four; or make him learn English ways. At Florence we get a nurse—”
“Three hours, then, or four; or have him adopt English customs. In Florence, we’ll find a nurse—”
“But, Harriet,” said Miss Abbott, “what if at first he was to refuse?”
“But, Harriet,” Miss Abbott said, “what if he refuses at first?”
“I don’t know the meaning of the word,” said Harriet impressively. “I’ve told the landlady that Philip and I only want our rooms one night, and we shall keep to it.”
“I don’t know what that word means,” Harriet said confidently. “I’ve told the landlady that Philip and I only need our rooms for one night, and we’re going to stick to that.”
“I dare say it will be all right. But, as I told you, I thought the man I met on the Rocca a strange, difficult man.”
“I truly believe it will be fine. But, as I mentioned, I found the man I met on the Rocca to be strange and complicated.”
“He’s insolent to ladies, we know. But my brother can be trusted to bring him to his senses. That woman, Philip, whom you saw will carry the baby to the hotel. Of course you must tip her for it. And try, if you can, to get poor Lilia’s silver bangles. They were nice quiet things, and will do for Irma. And there is an inlaid box I lent her—lent, not gave—to keep her handkerchiefs in. It’s of no real value; but this is our only chance. Don’t ask for it; but if you see it lying about, just say—”
“He's rude to women, as we know. But my brother can be counted on to knock some sense into him. That woman, Philip, whom you saw, will take the baby to the hotel. Of course, you should give her a tip for that. And if you can, try to get poor Lilia’s silver bangles. They were nice, simple pieces and will work for Irma. And there's an inlaid box I lent her—lent, not gave— for her handkerchiefs. It’s not really valuable, but this is our only shot. Don’t ask for it; but if you see it lying around, just say—”
“No, Harriet; I’ll try for the baby, but for nothing else. I promise to do that tomorrow, and to do it in the way you wish. But tonight, as we’re all tired, we want a change of topic. We want relaxation. We want to go to the theatre.”
“No, Harriet; I’ll go for the baby, but for nothing else. I promise to do that tomorrow, and to do it the way you want. But tonight, since we’re all tired, we need to change the subject. We want to relax. We want to go to the theater.”
“Theatres here? And at such a moment?”
“Theaters here? And at a time like this?”
“We should hardly enjoy it, with the great interview impending,” said Miss Abbott, with an anxious glance at Philip.
“We shouldn’t really enjoy this, with the big interview coming up,” said Miss Abbott, glancing anxiously at Philip.
He did not betray her, but said, “Don’t you think it’s better than sitting in all the evening and getting nervous?”
He didn’t betray her, but said, “Don’t you think it’s better than sitting around all evening and getting anxious?”
His sister shook her head. “Mother wouldn’t like it. It would be most unsuitable—almost irreverent. Besides all that, foreign theatres are notorious. Don’t you remember those letters in the ‘Church Family Newspaper’?”
His sister shook her head. “Mom wouldn’t like it. It would be really inappropriate—almost disrespectful. On top of that, foreign theaters have a bad reputation. Don’t you remember those letters in the ‘Church Family Newspaper’?”
“But this is an opera—‘Lucia di Lammermoor’—Sir Walter Scott—classical, you know.”
“But this is an opera—‘Lucia di Lammermoor’—by Sir Walter Scott—it’s a classic, you know.”
Harriet’s face grew resigned. “Certainly one has so few opportunities of hearing music. It is sure to be very bad. But it might be better than sitting idle all the evening. We have no book, and I lost my crochet at Florence.”
Harriet's expression became one of acceptance. “Definitely, we rarely get the chance to listen to music. It’s probably going to be pretty awful. But it could be better than just sitting around doing nothing all evening. We don’t have a book, and I misplaced my crochet in Florence.”
“Good. Miss Abbott, you are coming too?”
“Great. Miss Abbott, are you coming too?”
“It is very kind of you, Mr. Herriton. In some ways I should enjoy it; but—excuse the suggestion—I don’t think we ought to go to cheap seats.”
“It’s really generous of you, Mr. Herriton. In some ways, I would enjoy it; but—no offense intended—I don’t think we should sit in the cheap seats.”
“Good gracious me!” cried Harriet, “I should never have thought of that. As likely as not, we should have tried to save money and sat among the most awful people. One keeps on forgetting this is Italy.”
“Goodness gracious!” exclaimed Harriet, “I would have never thought of that. Chances are, we would have tried to save money and ended up among the most terrible people. It’s easy to forget that this is Italy.”
“Unfortunately I have no evening dress; and if the seats—”
“Unfortunately, I don’t have an evening dress; and if the seats—”
“Oh, that’ll be all right,” said Philip, smiling at his timorous, scrupulous women-kind. “We’ll go as we are, and buy the best we can get. Monteriano is not formal.”
“Oh, that’ll be fine,” said Philip, smiling at his anxious, particular women. “We’ll go as we are and buy the best we can find. Monteriano isn’t formal.”
So this strenuous day of resolutions, plans, alarms, battles, victories, defeats, truces, ended at the opera. Miss Abbott and Harriet were both a little shame-faced. They thought of their friends at Sawston, who were supposing them to be now tilting against the powers of evil. What would Mrs. Herriton, or Irma, or the curates at the Back Kitchen say if they could see the rescue party at a place of amusement on the very first day of its mission? Philip, too, marvelled at his wish to go. He began to see that he was enjoying his time in Monteriano, in spite of the tiresomeness of his companions and the occasional contrariness of himself.
So, this exhausting day of decisions, plans, alarms, battles, victories, defeats, and truces wrapped up at the opera. Miss Abbott and Harriet both felt a bit embarrassed. They thought about their friends back at Sawston, who believed they were bravely fighting against the forces of evil. What would Mrs. Herriton, or Irma, or the curates at the Back Kitchen think if they could see the rescue team at a place of entertainment on the very first day of their mission? Philip, too, wondered why he wanted to go. He started to realize that he was actually enjoying his time in Monteriano, despite the annoyance of his companions and his own occasional stubbornness.
He had been to this theatre many years before, on the occasion of a performance of “La Zia di Carlo.” Since then it had been thoroughly done up, in the tints of the beet-root and the tomato, and was in many other ways a credit to the little town. The orchestra had been enlarged, some of the boxes had terra-cotta draperies, and over each box was now suspended an enormous tablet, neatly framed, bearing upon it the number of that box. There was also a drop-scene, representing a pink and purple landscape, wherein sported many a lady lightly clad, and two more ladies lay along the top of the proscenium to steady a large and pallid clock. So rich and so appalling was the effect, that Philip could scarcely suppress a cry. There is something majestic in the bad taste of Italy; it is not the bad taste of a country which knows no better; it has not the nervous vulgarity of England, or the blinded vulgarity of Germany. It observes beauty, and chooses to pass it by. But it attains to beauty’s confidence. This tiny theatre of Monteriano spraddled and swaggered with the best of them, and these ladies with their clock would have nodded to the young men on the ceiling of the Sistine.
He had been to this theater many years ago for a performance of “La Zia di Carlo.” Since then, it had been completely renovated in shades of beetroot and tomato, making it a real asset to the small town. The orchestra had been expanded, some of the boxes featured terra-cotta drapes, and above each box hung a large, neatly framed sign showing its number. There was also a backdrop depicting a pink and purple landscape, with several ladies dressed lightly playing in it, while two other ladies lounged on top of the proscenium to hold up a large, pale clock. The overall look was so extravagant and overwhelming that Philip could hardly contain a gasp. There’s something grand about Italy's bad taste; it’s not the bad taste of a country unaware of better options; it lacks the crassness of England or the blind garishness of Germany. It acknowledges beauty but chooses to overlook it. Yet it gains beauty’s trust. This little theater in Monteriano flaunted and carried itself like the best, and those ladies with their clock would have exchanged nods with the young men painted on the ceiling of the Sistine.
Philip had tried for a box, but all the best were taken: it was rather a grand performance, and he had to be content with stalls. Harriet was fretful and insular. Miss Abbott was pleasant, and insisted on praising everything: her only regret was that she had no pretty clothes with her.
Philip had wanted a box, but all the good ones were taken: it was quite a big show, and he had to settle for seats in the stalls. Harriet was irritable and withdrawn. Miss Abbott was nice and made sure to compliment everything: her only disappointment was that she didn’t have any nice clothes with her.
“We do all right,” said Philip, amused at her unwonted vanity.
“We're doing fine,” Philip said, finding her unusual vanity amusing.
“Yes, I know; but pretty things pack as easily as ugly ones. We had no need to come to Italy like guys.”
“Yes, I know; but nice things are just as easy to pack as ugly ones. We didn’t need to come to Italy like guys.”
This time he did not reply, “But we’re here to rescue a baby.” For he saw a charming picture, as charming a picture as he had seen for years—the hot red theatre; outside the theatre, towers and dark gates and mediaeval walls; beyond the walls olive-trees in the starlight and white winding roads and fireflies and untroubled dust; and here in the middle of it all, Miss Abbott, wishing she had not come looking like a guy. She had made the right remark. Most undoubtedly she had made the right remark. This stiff suburban woman was unbending before the shrine.
This time he didn’t respond, “But we’re here to rescue a baby.” Instead, he saw a beautiful scene, as beautiful as anything he had seen in years—the vibrant red theater; outside the theater, towers and dark gates and medieval walls; beyond the walls, olive trees in the starlight, winding white roads, fireflies, and peaceful dust; and right in the middle of it all, Miss Abbott, wishing she hadn’t shown up looking like a man. She had definitely made the right comment. This rigid suburban woman was loosening up in front of the shrine.
“Don’t you like it at all?” he asked her.
“Do you not like it at all?” he asked her.
“Most awfully.” And by this bald interchange they convinced each other that Romance was here.
“Most definitely.” And through this straightforward exchange, they convinced each other that Romance was present.
Harriet, meanwhile, had been coughing ominously at the drop-scene, which presently rose on the grounds of Ravenswood, and the chorus of Scotch retainers burst into cry. The audience accompanied with tappings and drummings, swaying in the melody like corn in the wind. Harriet, though she did not care for music, knew how to listen to it. She uttered an acid “Shish!”
Harriet, in the meantime, had been coughing suspiciously at the drop-scene, which just went up on the grounds of Ravenswood, and the group of Scottish retainers began to shout. The audience joined in with claps and drumming, swaying to the rhythm like corn in the wind. Harriet, even though she wasn't a fan of music, knew how to appreciate it. She let out a sharp "Shush!"
“Shut it,” whispered her brother.
"Shut up," whispered her brother.
“We must make a stand from the beginning. They’re talking.”
“We need to take a stand right from the start. They’re talking.”
“It is tiresome,” murmured Miss Abbott; “but perhaps it isn’t for us to interfere.”
“It’s exhausting,” murmured Miss Abbott; “but maybe it’s not our place to interfere.”
Harriet shook her head and shished again. The people were quiet, not because it is wrong to talk during a chorus, but because it is natural to be civil to a visitor. For a little time she kept the whole house in order, and could smile at her brother complacently.
Harriet shook her head and shushed again. The people were quiet, not because it was wrong to talk during a chorus, but because it was polite to be respectful to a visitor. For a little while, she kept the whole house in check and could smile at her brother with satisfaction.
Her success annoyed him. He had grasped the principle of opera in Italy—it aims not at illusion but at entertainment—and he did not want this great evening-party to turn into a prayer-meeting. But soon the boxes began to fill, and Harriet’s power was over. Families greeted each other across the auditorium. People in the pit hailed their brothers and sons in the chorus, and told them how well they were singing. When Lucia appeared by the fountain there was loud applause, and cries of “Welcome to Monteriano!”
Her success irritated him. He understood the idea of opera in Italy—it’s meant for entertainment, not for creating illusions—and he didn’t want this big evening party to become a prayer meeting. But soon the boxes started filling up, and Harriet’s influence faded. Families greeted one another across the auditorium. People in the pit called out to their brothers and sons in the chorus, praising how well they were singing. When Lucia stepped out by the fountain, there was loud applause and shouts of “Welcome to Monteriano!”
“Ridiculous babies!” said Harriet, settling down in her stall.
“Ridiculous babies!” said Harriet, getting comfortable in her stall.
“Why, it is the famous hot lady of the Apennines,” cried Philip; “the one who had never, never before—”
“Wow, it’s the famous hot lady of the Apennines,” exclaimed Philip; “the one who had never, ever before—”
“Ugh! Don’t. She will be very vulgar. And I’m sure it’s even worse here than in the tunnel. I wish we’d never—”
“Ugh! Don’t. She’s going to be really rude. And I bet it’s even worse here than in the tunnel. I wish we’d never—”
Lucia began to sing, and there was a moment’s silence. She was stout and ugly; but her voice was still beautiful, and as she sang the theatre murmured like a hive of happy bees. All through the coloratura she was accompanied by sighs, and its top note was drowned in a shout of universal joy.
Lucia started to sing, and there was a brief moment of silence. She was heavyset and not conventionally attractive; but her voice was still lovely, and as she sang, the theater buzzed like a hive of happy bees. Throughout the coloratura, she was met with sighs, and the final note was overwhelmed by a cheer of collective joy.
So the opera proceeded. The singers drew inspiration from the audience, and the two great sextettes were rendered not unworthily. Miss Abbott fell into the spirit of the thing. She, too, chatted and laughed and applauded and encored, and rejoiced in the existence of beauty. As for Philip, he forgot himself as well as his mission. He was not even an enthusiastic visitor. For he had been in this place always. It was his home.
So the opera went on. The singers fed off the energy from the audience, and the two amazing sextets were performed quite well. Miss Abbott got into the vibe of the event. She laughed, chatted, applauded, and called for encores, celebrating the beauty around her. As for Philip, he lost track of himself and his mission. He wasn’t even a thrilled visitor. This place had always been his home.
Harriet, like M. Bovary on a more famous occasion, was trying to follow the plot. Occasionally she nudged her companions, and asked them what had become of Walter Scott. She looked round grimly. The audience sounded drunk, and even Caroline, who never took a drop, was swaying oddly. Violent waves of excitement, all arising from very little, went sweeping round the theatre. The climax was reached in the mad scene. Lucia, clad in white, as befitted her malady, suddenly gathered up her streaming hair and bowed her acknowledgment to the audience. Then from the back of the stage—she feigned not to see it—there advanced a kind of bamboo clothes-horse, stuck all over with bouquets. It was very ugly, and most of the flowers in it were false. Lucia knew this, and so did the audience; and they all knew that the clothes-horse was a piece of stage property, brought in to make the performance go year after year. None the less did it unloose the great deeps. With a scream of amazement and joy she embraced the animal, pulled out one or two practicable blossoms, pressed them to her lips, and flung them into her admirers. They flung them back, with loud melodious cries, and a little boy in one of the stageboxes snatched up his sister’s carnations and offered them. “Che carino!” exclaimed the singer. She darted at the little boy and kissed him. Now the noise became tremendous. “Silence! silence!” shouted many old gentlemen behind. “Let the divine creature continue!” But the young men in the adjacent box were imploring Lucia to extend her civility to them. She refused, with a humorous, expressive gesture. One of them hurled a bouquet at her. She spurned it with her foot. Then, encouraged by the roars of the audience, she picked it up and tossed it to them. Harriet was always unfortunate. The bouquet struck her full in the chest, and a little billet-doux fell out of it into her lap.
Harriet, like M. Bovary on a more famous occasion, was trying to follow the story. Occasionally, she nudged her friends and asked them what had happened to Walter Scott. She looked around grimly. The audience sounded drunk, and even Caroline, who never drank, was swaying oddly. Intense waves of excitement, all coming from very little, swept around the theater. The climax hit during the crazy scene. Lucia, dressed in white, as suited her condition, suddenly gathered her flowing hair and acknowledged the audience with a bow. Then from the back of the stage—she pretended not to see it—a sort of bamboo clothes rack covered in flowers moved forward. It was really ugly, and most of the flowers were fake. Lucia knew this, and so did the audience; they all understood that the clothes rack was just stage props, brought out to keep the show running year after year. Still, it unleashed deep emotions. With a scream of surprise and joy, she embraced the prop, pulled out a couple of decent flowers, pressed them to her lips, and threw them to her fans. They tossed them back with loud, melodic cries, and a little boy in one of the stage boxes snatched his sister’s carnations and offered them. “How cute!” the singer exclaimed. She rushed to the little boy and kissed him. The noise became overwhelming. “Silence! Silence!” shouted several old gentlemen from behind. “Let the divine creature continue!” But the young men in the nearby box were begging Lucia to show them some attention. She declined with a humorous, expressive gesture. One of them threw a bouquet at her. She kicked it away with her foot. Then, encouraged by the audience’s cheers, she picked it up and tossed it back to them. Harriet always had bad luck. The bouquet hit her square in the chest, and a little love note fell out of it into her lap.
“Call this classical!” she cried, rising from her seat. “It’s not even respectable! Philip! take me out at once.”
“Call this classical!” she exclaimed, getting up from her seat. “It’s not even decent! Philip! Take me out immediately.”
“Whose is it?” shouted her brother, holding up the bouquet in one hand and the billet-doux in the other. “Whose is it?”
“Whose is it?” her brother shouted, holding the bouquet in one hand and the note in the other. “Whose is it?”
The house exploded, and one of the boxes was violently agitated, as if some one was being hauled to the front. Harriet moved down the gangway, and compelled Miss Abbott to follow her. Philip, still laughing and calling “Whose is it?” brought up the rear. He was drunk with excitement. The heat, the fatigue, and the enjoyment had mounted into his head.
The house blew up, and one of the boxes shook violently, like someone was being dragged to the front. Harriet moved down the walkway and made Miss Abbott follow her. Philip, still laughing and shouting “Whose is it?” brought up the back. He was buzzed with excitement. The heat, the exhaustion, and the fun had all gotten to his head.
“To the left!” the people cried. “The innamorato is to the left.”
“To the left!” the crowd shouted. “The lover is to the left.”
He deserted his ladies and plunged towards the box. A young man was flung stomach downwards across the balustrade. Philip handed him up the bouquet and the note. Then his own hands were seized affectionately. It all seemed quite natural.
He left his ladies and rushed toward the box. A young man was thrown stomach first over the railing. Philip handed him the bouquet and the note. Then his own hands were grabbed affectionately. It all felt very natural.
“Why have you not written?” cried the young man. “Why do you take me by surprise?”
“Why haven't you written?” the young man exclaimed. “Why are you catching me off guard?”
“Oh, I’ve written,” said Philip hilariously. “I left a note this afternoon.”
“Oh, I’ve written,” Philip said with a laugh. “I left a note this afternoon.”
“Silence! silence!” cried the audience, who were beginning to have enough. “Let the divine creature continue.” Miss Abbott and Harriet had disappeared.
“Quiet! Quiet!” shouted the audience, who were starting to get fed up. “Let the amazing performer continue.” Miss Abbott and Harriet were gone.
“No! no!” cried the young man. “You don’t escape me now.” For Philip was trying feebly to disengage his hands. Amiable youths bent out of the box and invited him to enter it.
“No! No!” the young man shouted. “You can’t get away from me now.” Philip was weakly attempting to pull his hands free. Friendly guys leaned over the edge of the box and urged him to come inside.
“Gino’s friends are ours—”
"Gino's friends are our friends—"
“Friends?” cried Gino. “A relative! A brother! Fra Filippo, who has come all the way from England and never written.”
“Friends?” shouted Gino. “A relative! A brother! Fra Filippo, who traveled all the way from England and never wrote a word.”
“I left a message.”
"I sent a message."
The audience began to hiss.
The audience started to boo.
“Come in to us.”
"Join us."
“Thank you—ladies—there is not time—”
“Thanks, ladies, there's no time—”
The next moment he was swinging by his arms. The moment after he shot over the balustrade into the box. Then the conductor, seeing that the incident was over, raised his baton. The house was hushed, and Lucia di Lammermoor resumed her song of madness and death.
The next moment, he was swinging by his arms. A second later, he shot over the balustrade into the box. Then the conductor, seeing that the incident was over, raised his baton. The audience went quiet, and Lucia di Lammermoor resumed her song of madness and death.
Philip had whispered introductions to the pleasant people who had pulled him in—tradesmen’s sons perhaps they were, or medical students, or solicitors’ clerks, or sons of other dentists. There is no knowing who is who in Italy. The guest of the evening was a private soldier. He shared the honour now with Philip. The two had to stand side by side in the front, and exchange compliments, whilst Gino presided, courteous, but delightfully familiar. Philip would have a spasm of horror at the muddle he had made. But the spasm would pass, and again he would be enchanted by the kind, cheerful voices, the laughter that was never vapid, and the light caress of the arm across his back.
Philip had quietly introduced himself to the nice people who had brought him in—maybe they were the sons of tradesmen, or medical students, or clerks, or the kids of other dentists. You can’t really tell who’s who in Italy. The guest of the evening was a private soldier, who now shared the spotlight with Philip. They had to stand next to each other in the front and exchange compliments while Gino hosted, polite but wonderfully relaxed. Philip would feel a wave of panic over the mess he had created. But the panic would fade, and he would once again be charmed by the friendly, cheerful voices, the laughter that felt genuine, and the gentle touch of the arm across his back.
He could not get away till the play was nearly finished, and Edgardo was singing amongst the tombs of ancestors. His new friends hoped to see him at the Garibaldi tomorrow evening. He promised; then he remembered that if they kept to Harriet’s plan he would have left Monteriano. “At ten o’clock, then,” he said to Gino. “I want to speak to you alone. At ten.”
He couldn't leave until the play was almost over, and Edgardo was singing among the tombs of his ancestors. His new friends hoped to see him at the Garibaldi tomorrow evening. He promised; then he remembered that if they followed Harriet's plan, he would be gone from Monteriano. "At ten o'clock, then," he told Gino. "I want to talk to you alone. At ten."
“Certainly!” laughed the other.
"Sure!" laughed the other.
Miss Abbott was sitting up for him when he got back. Harriet, it seemed, had gone straight to bed.
Miss Abbott was awake for him when he got back. Harriet, it seemed, had gone straight to bed.
“That was he, wasn’t it?” she asked.
“That was him, wasn’t it?” she asked.
“Yes, rather.”
"Yes, definitely."
“I suppose you didn’t settle anything?”
“I guess you didn’t figure anything out?”
“Why, no; how could I? The fact is—well, I got taken by surprise, but after all, what does it matter? There’s no earthly reason why we shouldn’t do the business pleasantly. He’s a perfectly charming person, and so are his friends. I’m his friend now—his long-lost brother. What’s the harm? I tell you, Miss Abbott, it’s one thing for England and another for Italy. There we plan and get on high moral horses. Here we find what asses we are, for things go off quite easily, all by themselves. My hat, what a night! Did you ever see a really purple sky and really silver stars before? Well, as I was saying, it’s absurd to worry; he’s not a porky father. He wants that baby as little as I do. He’s been ragging my dear mother—just as he ragged me eighteen months ago, and I’ve forgiven him. Oh, but he has a sense of humour!”
“Why, no; how could I? The truth is—well, I was caught off guard, but really, who cares? There's no reason we shouldn’t handle this pleasantly. He’s a really charming guy, and so are his friends. I’m his friend now—his long-lost brother. What’s the harm? I’m telling you, Miss Abbott, it’s one thing in England and another in Italy. There we like to plan and act all high and mighty. Here we realize how foolish we are, as things just unfold on their own. Wow, what a night! Have you ever seen a truly purple sky and bright silver stars before? Anyway, as I was saying, it’s ridiculous to stress; he’s not a pushy dad. He wants that baby as little as I do. He’s been teasing my dear mother—just like he teased me eighteen months ago, and I’ve forgiven him. Oh, but he's got a great sense of humor!”
Miss Abbott, too, had a wonderful evening, nor did she ever remember such stars or such a sky. Her head, too, was full of music, and that night when she opened the window her room was filled with warm, sweet air. She was bathed in beauty within and without; she could not go to bed for happiness. Had she ever been so happy before? Yes, once before, and here, a night in March, the night Gino and Lilia had told her of their love—the night whose evil she had come now to undo.
Miss Abbott also had an amazing evening, and she couldn’t recall ever seeing such stars or such a sky. Her mind was buzzing with music, and when she opened the window that night, her room was filled with warm, sweet air. She felt surrounded by beauty inside and out; she couldn’t bring herself to go to bed because of her happiness. Had she ever been this happy before? Yes, once, and it was here, on a night in March, when Gino and Lilia expressed their love to her—the night whose wrong she had come to fix.
She gave a sudden cry of shame. “This time—the same place—the same thing”—and she began to beat down her happiness, knowing it to be sinful. She was here to fight against this place, to rescue a little soul—who was innocent as yet. She was here to champion morality and purity, and the holy life of an English home. In the spring she had sinned through ignorance; she was not ignorant now. “Help me!” she cried, and shut the window as if there was magic in the encircling air. But the tunes would not go out of her head, and all night long she was troubled by torrents of music, and by applause and laughter, and angry young men who shouted the distich out of Baedeker:—
She let out a sudden cry of shame. “This time—the same place—the same thing”—and she started to suppress her happiness, knowing it was wrong. She was here to fight against this place, to save a little soul—who was still innocent. She was here to defend morality and purity, and the sacred life of an English home. In the spring, she had sinned out of ignorance; she wasn't ignorant anymore. “Help me!” she shouted, and closed the window as if there was magic in the air surrounding her. But the melodies wouldn’t leave her mind, and all night long she was disturbed by waves of music, by applause and laughter, and angry young men shouting the phrase from Baedeker:—
Poggibonizzi fatti in la, Che Monteriano si fa citta!
Poggibonizzi made here, That Monteriano becomes a city!
Poggibonsi was revealed to her as they sang—a joyless, straggling place, full of people who pretended. When she woke up she knew that it had been Sawston.
Poggibonsi was shown to her as they sang—a dull, uneven place, filled with people who were faking it. When she woke up, she realized it had been Sawston.
Chapter 7
At about nine o’clock next morning Perfetta went out on to the loggia, not to look at the view, but to throw some dirty water at it. “Scusi tanto!” she wailed, for the water spattered a tall young lady who had for some time been tapping at the lower door.
At around nine o’clock the next morning, Perfetta stepped out onto the loggia, not to enjoy the view, but to splash some dirty water at it. “Sorry about that!” she exclaimed, as the water splashed onto a tall young woman who had been knocking at the lower door for a while.
“Is Signor Carella in?” the young lady asked. It was no business of Perfetta’s to be shocked, and the style of the visitor seemed to demand the reception-room. Accordingly she opened its shutters, dusted a round patch on one of the horsehair chairs, and bade the lady do herself the inconvenience of sitting down. Then she ran into Monteriano and shouted up and down its streets until such time as her young master should hear her.
“Is Mr. Carella in?” the young woman asked. It wasn’t Perfetta’s place to be shocked, and the visitor's style seemed to call for the reception room. So she opened the shutters, cleared dust from a spot on one of the horsehair chairs, and invited the lady to sit down. Then she dashed into Monteriano and called out loudly through the streets until her young master noticed her.
The reception-room was sacred to the dead wife. Her shiny portrait hung upon the wall—similar, doubtless, in all respects to the one which would be pasted on her tombstone. A little piece of black drapery had been tacked above the frame to lend a dignity to woe. But two of the tacks had fallen out, and the effect was now rakish, as of a drunkard’s bonnet. A coon song lay open on the piano, and of the two tables one supported Baedeker’s “Central Italy,” the other Harriet’s inlaid box. And over everything there lay a deposit of heavy white dust, which was only blown off one moment to thicken on another. It is well to be remembered with love. It is not so very dreadful to be forgotten entirely. But if we shall resent anything on earth at all, we shall resent the consecration of a deserted room.
The reception room was dedicated to the dead wife. Her shiny portrait hung on the wall—likely identical to the one that would be placed on her tombstone. A small piece of black fabric had been pinned above the frame to add a touch of solemnity. But two of the pins had come loose, giving it a disheveled look, like a drunkard’s hat. An old coon song was spread open on the piano, and one table held Baedeker’s “Central Italy,” while the other featured Harriet’s inlaid box. And over everything was a layer of heavy white dust, only brushed off for a moment before settling back. It’s nice to be remembered with love. It’s not that terrible to be completely forgotten. But if we’re going to resent anything on this earth, it will be the honoring of an empty room.
Miss Abbott did not sit down, partly because the antimacassars might harbour fleas, partly because she had suddenly felt faint, and was glad to cling on to the funnel of the stove. She struggled with herself, for she had need to be very calm; only if she was very calm might her behaviour be justified. She had broken faith with Philip and Harriet: she was going to try for the baby before they did. If she failed she could scarcely look them in the face again.
Miss Abbott didn’t sit down, partly because the antimacassars might have fleas, and partly because she suddenly felt faint and was glad to hold onto the stove’s funnel. She battled with herself, knowing she needed to stay very calm; only by maintaining that calm could her actions be justified. She had betrayed Philip and Harriet: she was going to try for the baby before they did. If she failed, she could hardly face them again.
“Harriet and her brother,” she reasoned, “don’t realize what is before them. She would bluster and be rude; he would be pleasant and take it as a joke. Both of them—even if they offered money—would fail. But I begin to understand the man’s nature; he does not love the child, but he will be touchy about it—and that is quite as bad for us. He’s charming, but he’s no fool; he conquered me last year; he conquered Mr. Herriton yesterday, and if I am not careful he will conquer us all today, and the baby will grow up in Monteriano. He is terribly strong; Lilia found that out, but only I remember it now.”
“Harriet and her brother,” she thought, “don’t see what’s right in front of them. She will act tough and be rude; he will be nice and take it lightly. Both of them—even if they offered money—would fail. But I’m starting to get the man’s nature; he doesn’t care about the child, but he’s sensitive about it—and that’s just as bad for us. He’s charming, but he’s not stupid; he got the better of me last year; he got the better of Mr. Herriton yesterday, and if I’m not careful, he’ll get the better of us all today, and the baby will grow up in Monteriano. He’s incredibly strong; Lilia figured that out, but only I remember it now.”
This attempt, and this justification of it, were the results of the long and restless night. Miss Abbott had come to believe that she alone could do battle with Gino, because she alone understood him; and she had put this, as nicely as she could, in a note which she had left for Philip. It distressed her to write such a note, partly because her education inclined her to reverence the male, partly because she had got to like Philip a good deal after their last strange interview. His pettiness would be dispersed, and as for his “unconventionality,” which was so much gossiped about at Sawston, she began to see that it did not differ greatly from certain familiar notions of her own. If only he would forgive her for what she was doing now, there might perhaps be before them a long and profitable friendship. But she must succeed. No one would forgive her if she did not succeed. She prepared to do battle with the powers of evil.
This effort, along with the reasoning behind it, came after a long and restless night. Miss Abbott had come to believe that she alone could confront Gino, because she was the only one who really understood him; and she tried to express this in a note she left for Philip. Writing such a note upset her, partly because her upbringing taught her to respect men, and partly because she had really come to like Philip after their last strange conversation. She thought his small-mindedness would fade away, and regarding his "unconventionality," which everyone at Sawston talked about, she was starting to realize it wasn't much different from some familiar ideas of her own. If only he would forgive her for what she was doing now, there might be a chance for a long and meaningful friendship between them. But she had to succeed. No one would forgive her if she didn’t. She prepared to fight against the forces of evil.
The voice of her adversary was heard at last, singing fearlessly from his expanded lungs, like a professional. Herein he differed from Englishmen, who always have a little feeling against music, and sing only from the throat, apologetically. He padded upstairs, and looked in at the open door of the reception-room without seeing her. Her heart leapt and her throat was dry when he turned away and passed, still singing, into the room opposite. It is alarming not to be seen.
The voice of her opponent was finally heard, singing confidently with a powerful voice, like a pro. This set him apart from Englishmen, who tend to have a slight aversion to music and only sing from the throat, often with an apology. He padded up the stairs and glanced into the open door of the reception room without noticing her. Her heart raced and her throat felt dry when he turned away and continued singing into the room across the hall. It’s unsettling to be overlooked.
He had left the door of this room open, and she could see into it, right across the landing. It was in a shocking mess. Food, bedclothes, patent-leather boots, dirty plates, and knives lay strewn over a large table and on the floor. But it was the mess that comes of life, not of desolation. It was preferable to the charnel-chamber in which she was standing now, and the light in it was soft and large, as from some gracious, noble opening.
He had left the door to this room open, and she could see right inside, across the landing. It was a total disaster. Food, bed linens, shiny boots, dirty plates, and knives were scattered across a big table and on the floor. But it was the kind of mess that comes from living, not from emptiness. It was better than the grim place where she was standing now, and the light in there was warm and inviting, like it came from a beautiful, generous opening.
He stopped singing, and cried “Where is Perfetta?”
He stopped singing and shouted, “Where is Perfetta?”
His back was turned, and he was lighting a cigar. He was not speaking to Miss Abbott. He could not even be expecting her. The vista of the landing and the two open doors made him both remote and significant, like an actor on the stage, intimate and unapproachable at the same time. She could no more call out to him than if he was Hamlet.
His back was turned as he lit a cigar. He wasn’t talking to Miss Abbott and couldn’t have been expecting her at all. The view of the landing and the two open doors made him feel both distant and important, like an actor on stage—close yet unapproachable at the same time. She couldn’t have called out to him any more than if he were Hamlet.
“You know!” he continued, “but you will not tell me. Exactly like you.” He reclined on the table and blew a fat smoke-ring. “And why won’t you tell me the numbers? I have dreamt of a red hen—that is two hundred and five, and a friend unexpected—he means eighty-two. But I try for the Terno this week. So tell me another number.”
“You know!” he went on, “but you won’t share it with me. Just like you.” He leaned back on the table and blew out a big smoke ring. “So why won’t you tell me the numbers? I dreamed of a red hen—that’s two hundred and five, and an unexpected friend—that means eighty-two. But I’m going for the Terno this week. So give me another number.”
Miss Abbott did not know of the Tombola. His speech terrified her. She felt those subtle restrictions which come upon us in fatigue. Had she slept well she would have greeted him as soon as she saw him. Now it was impossible. He had got into another world.
Miss Abbott was unaware of the Tombola. His speech frightened her. She felt those subtle constraints that hit us when we’re tired. If she had slept well, she would have welcomed him as soon as she saw him. Now, that seemed impossible. He seemed to be in a different world.
She watched his smoke-ring. The air had carried it slowly away from him, and brought it out intact upon the landing.
She watched his smoke ring. The air slowly carried it away from him and brought it out intact onto the landing.
“Two hundred and five—eighty-two. In any case I shall put them on Bari, not on Florence. I cannot tell you why; I have a feeling this week for Bari.” Again she tried to speak. But the ring mesmerized her. It had become vast and elliptical, and floated in at the reception-room door.
“Two hundred and five—eighty-two. Anyway, I’ll put them on Bari, not on Florence. I can’t explain why; I just have a feeling about Bari this week.” Again she tried to speak. But the ring captivated her. It had grown huge and oval, drifting through the reception-room door.
“Ah! you don’t care if you get the profits. You won’t even say ‘Thank you, Gino.’ Say it, or I’ll drop hot, red-hot ashes on you. ‘Thank you, Gino—‘”
“Ah! you don’t care if you get the profits. You won’t even say ‘Thank you, Gino.’ Say it, or I’ll drop hot, red-hot ashes on you. ‘Thank you, Gino—‘”
The ring had extended its pale blue coils towards her. She lost self-control. It enveloped her. As if it was a breath from the pit, she screamed.
The ring stretched its pale blue loops toward her. She lost all self-control. It wrapped around her. Like a breath from the depths, she screamed.
There he was, wanting to know what had frightened her, how she had got here, why she had never spoken. He made her sit down. He brought her wine, which she refused. She had not one word to say to him.
There he was, wanting to know what had scared her, how she ended up here, and why she had never said a word. He made her sit down. He offered her wine, which she turned down. She didn't have a single word to say to him.
“What is it?” he repeated. “What has frightened you?”
“What is it?” he asked again. “What scared you?”
He, too, was frightened, and perspiration came starting through the tan. For it is a serious thing to have been watched. We all radiate something curiously intimate when we believe ourselves to be alone.
He was also scared, and sweat began to show through his tan. It's a serious thing to feel like you're being watched. We all give off something strangely personal when we think we're alone.
“Business—” she said at last.
"Business—" she finally said.
“Business with me?”
"Work with me?"
“Most important business.” She was lying, white and limp, in the dusty chair.
“Most important business.” She was lying there, pale and motionless, in the dusty chair.
“Before business you must get well; this is the best wine.”
“Before starting work, you need to get better; this is the best choice.”
She refused it feebly. He poured out a glass. She drank it. As she did so she became self-conscious. However important the business, it was not proper of her to have called on him, or to accept his hospitality.
She weakly declined it. He poured a glass. She drank it. As she did, she started to feel self-conscious. No matter how important the matter was, it wasn’t right for her to have visited him or to accept his hospitality.
“Perhaps you are engaged,” she said. “And as I am not very well—”
“Maybe you're engaged,” she said. “And since I’m not feeling very well—”
“You are not well enough to go back. And I am not engaged.”
“You're not well enough to go back. And I'm not tied down.”
She looked nervously at the other room.
She anxiously glanced at the other room.
“Ah, now I understand,” he exclaimed. “Now I see what frightened you. But why did you never speak?” And taking her into the room where he lived, he pointed to—the baby.
“Ah, now I get it,” he said. “Now I see what scared you. But why didn’t you ever say anything?” And taking her into the room where he lived, he pointed to—the baby.
She had thought so much about this baby, of its welfare, its soul, its morals, its probable defects. But, like most unmarried people, she had only thought of it as a word—just as the healthy man only thinks of the word death, not of death itself. The real thing, lying asleep on a dirty rug, disconcerted her. It did not stand for a principle any longer. It was so much flesh and blood, so many inches and ounces of life—a glorious, unquestionable fact, which a man and another woman had given to the world. You could talk to it; in time it would answer you; in time it would not answer you unless it chose, but would secrete, within the compass of its body, thoughts and wonderful passions of its own. And this was the machine on which she and Mrs. Herriton and Philip and Harriet had for the last month been exercising their various ideals—had determined that in time it should move this way or that way, should accomplish this and not that. It was to be Low Church, it was to be high-principled, it was to be tactful, gentlemanly, artistic—excellent things all. Yet now that she saw this baby, lying asleep on a dirty rug, she had a great disposition not to dictate one of them, and to exert no more influence than there may be in a kiss or in the vaguest of the heartfelt prayers.
She had thought a lot about this baby, its well-being, its spirit, its morals, and its likely flaws. But, like most unmarried people, she had only considered it as an idea—just as a healthy person only thinks of the idea of death, not death itself. The real thing, lying asleep on a dirty rug, unsettled her. It no longer represented a principle. It was pure flesh and blood, a certain number of inches and ounces of life—a glorious, undeniable fact, brought into the world by a man and a woman. You could talk to it; eventually, it would respond; in time, it would only respond if it wanted to, holding within its body thoughts and amazing feelings of its own. And this was the little being upon which she, Mrs. Herriton, Philip, and Harriet had spent the last month imposing their various ideals—deciding that in time it should move in one direction or another, should achieve this and not that. It was supposed to be Low Church, highly principled, tactful, gentlemanly, artistic—wonderful things, all. Yet now that she saw this baby, lying asleep on a dirty rug, she felt a strong urge not to impose any of those ideals and to have no more impact than what might be found in a kiss or in the most vague, heartfelt prayers.
But she had practised self-discipline, and her thoughts and actions were not yet to correspond. To recover her self-esteem she tried to imagine that she was in her district, and to behave accordingly.
But she had practiced self-discipline, and her thoughts and actions didn’t match yet. To rebuild her self-esteem, she tried to picture herself in her area and act that way.
“What a fine child, Signor Carella. And how nice of you to talk to it. Though I see that the ungrateful little fellow is asleep! Seven months? No, eight; of course eight. Still, he is a remarkably fine child for his age.”
“What a lovely child, Signor Carella. And how sweet of you to talk to him. Though I see that the ungrateful little guy is asleep! Seven months? No, eight; of course, eight. Still, he is an exceptionally fine child for his age.”
Italian is a bad medium for condescension. The patronizing words came out gracious and sincere, and he smiled with pleasure.
Italian isn't a good language for being condescending. The patronizing words sounded gracious and sincere, and he smiled with pleasure.
“You must not stand. Let us sit on the loggia, where it is cool. I am afraid the room is very untidy,” he added, with the air of a hostess who apologizes for a stray thread on the drawing-room carpet. Miss Abbott picked her way to the chair. He sat near her, astride the parapet, with one foot in the loggia and the other dangling into the view. His face was in profile, and its beautiful contours drove artfully against the misty green of the opposing hills. “Posing!” said Miss Abbott to herself. “A born artist’s model.”
“You shouldn’t stand. Let’s sit on the loggia, where it’s cool. I’m worried the room is really messy,” he added, like a hostess who apologizes for a loose thread on the living room carpet. Miss Abbott carefully made her way to the chair. He sat close to her, straddling the parapet, with one foot in the loggia and the other hanging over the edge. His face was in profile, and its beautiful lines contrasted artfully with the misty green of the hills across from them. “Posing!” Miss Abbott thought to herself. “A natural artist’s model.”
“Mr. Herriton called yesterday,” she began, “but you were out.”
“Mr. Herriton called yesterday,” she started, “but you weren’t home.”
He started an elaborate and graceful explanation. He had gone for the day to Poggibonsi. Why had the Herritons not written to him, so that he could have received them properly? Poggibonsi would have done any day; not but what his business there was fairly important. What did she suppose that it was?
He began a detailed and smooth explanation. He had spent the day in Poggibonsi. Why hadn’t the Herritons reached out to him, so he could have welcomed them properly? Visiting Poggibonsi was something he could have done any day, although his business there was quite important. What did she think it was?
Naturally she was not greatly interested. She had not come from Sawston to guess why he had been to Poggibonsi. She answered politely that she had no idea, and returned to her mission.
Naturally, she wasn't very interested. She hadn't come from Sawston to speculate about why he had been to Poggibonsi. She politely replied that she had no idea and went back to her task.
“But guess!” he persisted, clapping the balustrade between his hands.
“But guess!” he insisted, clapping his hands on the railing.
She suggested, with gentle sarcasm, that perhaps he had gone to Poggibonsi to find something to do.
She suggested, with a hint of sarcasm, that maybe he had gone to Poggibonsi to find something to do.
He intimated that it was not as important as all that. Something to do—an almost hopeless quest! “E manca questo!” He rubbed his thumb and forefinger together, to indicate that he had no money. Then he sighed, and blew another smoke-ring. Miss Abbott took heart and turned diplomatic.
He hinted that it wasn't that important. Just something to do—an almost impossible task! “E manca questo!” He rubbed his thumb and forefinger together to show that he had no money. Then he sighed and blew another smoke ring. Miss Abbott gathered her courage and switched to a diplomatic approach.
“This house,” she said, “is a large house.”
“This house,” she said, “is a big house.”
“Exactly,” was his gloomy reply. “And when my poor wife died—” He got up, went in, and walked across the landing to the reception-room door, which he closed reverently. Then he shut the door of the living-room with his foot, returned briskly to his seat, and continued his sentence. “When my poor wife died I thought of having my relatives to live here. My father wished to give up his practice at Empoli; my mother and sisters and two aunts were also willing. But it was impossible. They have their ways of doing things, and when I was younger I was content with them. But now I am a man. I have my own ways. Do you understand?”
“Exactly,” was his bleak answer. “And when my poor wife died—” He got up, went inside, and walked across the landing to the reception-room door, which he closed carefully. Then he kicked the living-room door shut, returned quickly to his seat, and continued his sentence. “When my poor wife died, I thought about having my relatives move in here. My father wanted to give up his practice in Empoli; my mother, sisters, and two aunts were also on board. But it wasn't possible. They have their own ways of doing things, and when I was younger, I was fine with that. But now I’m a man. I have my own ways. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I do,” said Miss Abbott, thinking of her own dear father, whose tricks and habits, after twenty-five years spent in their company, were beginning to get on her nerves. She remembered, though, that she was not here to sympathize with Gino—at all events, not to show that she sympathized. She also reminded herself that he was not worthy of sympathy. “It is a large house,” she repeated.
“Yes, I do,” said Miss Abbott, thinking about her beloved father, whose quirks and habits, after twenty-five years of being around them, were starting to irritate her. However, she remembered that she wasn’t there to feel sorry for Gino—at least, not to show that she felt sorry for him. She also reminded herself that he didn't deserve sympathy. “It’s a big house,” she said again.
“Immense; and the taxes! But it will be better when—Ah! but you have never guessed why I went to Poggibonsi—why it was that I was out when he called.”
“It's huge; and the taxes! But it will be better when—Ah! but you have no idea why I went to Poggibonsi—why I was out when he called.”
“I cannot guess, Signor Carella. I am here on business.”
“I can't guess, Signor Carella. I'm here for business.”
“But try.”
“Just give it a shot.”
“I cannot; I hardly know you.”
“I can't; I barely know you.”
“But we are old friends,” he said, “and your approval will be grateful to me. You gave it me once before. Will you give it now?”
“But we are old friends,” he said, “and I would really appreciate your approval. You gave it to me once before. Will you give it to me again now?”
“I have not come as a friend this time,” she answered stiffly. “I am not likely, Signor Carella, to approve of anything you do.”
“I haven’t come as a friend this time,” she replied stiffly. “I’m not likely, Signor Carella, to approve of anything you do.”
“Oh, Signorina!” He laughed, as if he found her piquant and amusing. “Surely you approve of marriage?”
“Oh, Miss!” He laughed, as if he found her intriguing and funny. “You definitely approve of marriage, right?”
“Where there is love,” said Miss Abbott, looking at him hard. His face had altered in the last year, but not for the worse, which was baffling.
“Where there is love,” said Miss Abbott, staring at him intently. His face had changed over the past year, but not for the worse, which was puzzling.
“Where there is love,” said he, politely echoing the English view. Then he smiled on her, expecting congratulations.
“Where there is love,” he said, politely reflecting the English perspective. Then he smiled at her, expecting praise.
“Do I understand that you are proposing to marry again?”
“Are you saying that you want to get married again?”
He nodded.
He affirmed.
“I forbid you, then!”
“I won’t allow it, then!”
He looked puzzled, but took it for some foreign banter, and laughed.
He looked confused but thought it was just some foreign joke and laughed.
“I forbid you!” repeated Miss Abbott, and all the indignation of her sex and her nationality went thrilling through the words.
“I forbid you!” Miss Abbott said again, and all the anger of her gender and her heritage resonated through her words.
“But why?” He jumped up, frowning. His voice was squeaky and petulant, like that of a child who is suddenly forbidden a toy.
“But why?” He jumped up, frowning. His voice was high-pitched and whiny, like a kid who's suddenly been told they can't have a toy.
“You have ruined one woman; I forbid you to ruin another. It is not a year since Lilia died. You pretended to me the other day that you loved her. It is a lie. You wanted her money. Has this woman money too?”
“You’ve already destroyed one woman; I won’t let you destroy another. It’s not even been a year since Lilia died. You acted like you loved her the other day, but that was a lie. You just wanted her money. Does this woman have money too?”
“Why, yes!” he said irritably. “A little.”
“Yeah, sure!” he said irritably. “A bit.”
“And I suppose you will say that you love her.”
“And I guess you'll say that you love her.”
“I shall not say it. It will be untrue. Now my poor wife—” He stopped, seeing that the comparison would involve him in difficulties. And indeed he had often found Lilia as agreeable as any one else.
“I won’t say it. It wouldn’t be true. Now my poor wife—” He stopped, realizing that the comparison would lead to complications. And he had often found Lilia as pleasant as anyone else.
Miss Abbott was furious at this final insult to her dead acquaintance. She was glad that after all she could be so angry with the boy. She glowed and throbbed; her tongue moved nimbly. At the finish, if the real business of the day had been completed, she could have swept majestically from the house. But the baby still remained, asleep on a dirty rug.
Miss Abbott was angry about this final disrespect to her deceased friend. She felt relieved that she could still be so mad at the boy. She felt energized and her words flowed easily. In the end, if the main task of the day had been done, she could have left the house in a grand manner. But the baby was still there, sleeping on a dirty rug.
Gino was thoughtful, and stood scratching his head. He respected Miss Abbott. He wished that she would respect him. “So you do not advise me?” he said dolefully. “But why should it be a failure?”
Gino was deep in thought, scratching his head. He respected Miss Abbott. He wished she would respect him too. “So you’re not giving me any advice?” he asked sadly. “But why would it have to fail?”
Miss Abbott tried to remember that he was really a child still—a child with the strength and the passions of a disreputable man. “How can it succeed,” she said solemnly, “where there is no love?”
Miss Abbott tried to remember that he was still just a kid—a kid with the strength and the desires of a disreputable man. “How can it succeed,” she said seriously, “if there’s no love?”
“But she does love me! I forgot to tell you that.”
“But she really loves me! I forgot to mention that.”
“Indeed.”
"Definitely."
“Passionately.” He laid his hand upon his own heart.
“Passionately.” He placed his hand on his heart.
“Then God help her!”
“Then God help her!”
He stamped impatiently. “Whatever I say displeases you, Signorina. God help you, for you are most unfair. You say that I ill-treated my dear wife. It is not so. I have never ill-treated any one. You complain that there is no love in this marriage. I prove that there is, and you become still more angry. What do you want? Do you suppose she will not be contented? Glad enough she is to get me, and she will do her duty well.”
He tapped his foot impatiently. “No matter what I say, it upsets you, Signorina. Honestly, you are being really unfair. You claim that I mistreated my beloved wife. That’s not true. I’ve never mistreated anyone. You say there’s no love in this marriage. I show you that there is, and you get even more upset. What do you want? Do you really think she won’t be happy? She’s grateful to have me, and she will fulfill her duties just fine.”
“Her duty!” cried Miss Abbott, with all the bitterness of which she was capable.
“Her duty!” exclaimed Miss Abbott, with all the bitterness she could muster.
“Why, of course. She knows why I am marrying her.”
“Of course. She knows why I’m marrying her.”
“To succeed where Lilia failed! To be your housekeeper, your slave, you—” The words she would like to have said were too violent for her.
“To succeed where Lilia failed! To be your housekeeper, your servant, you—” The words she wanted to say felt too harsh for her.
“To look after the baby, certainly,” said he.
"Of course, I'll take care of the baby," he said.
“The baby—?” She had forgotten it.
“The baby—?” She had completely forgotten about it.
“It is an English marriage,” he said proudly. “I do not care about the money. I am having her for my son. Did you not understand that?”
“It’s an English marriage,” he said proudly. “I don’t care about the money. I’m getting her for my son. Didn’t you get that?”
“No,” said Miss Abbott, utterly bewildered. Then, for a moment, she saw light. “It is not necessary, Signor Carella. Since you are tired of the baby—”
“No,” said Miss Abbott, completely confused. Then, for a moment, she saw a glimmer of understanding. “It’s not needed, Signor Carella. Since you’re tired of the baby—”
Ever after she remembered it to her credit that she saw her mistake at once. “I don’t mean that,” she added quickly.
Ever since, she took pride in recognizing her mistake immediately. “That’s not what I meant,” she added quickly.
“I know,” was his courteous response. “Ah, in a foreign language (and how perfectly you speak Italian) one is certain to make slips.”
“I know,” was his polite reply. “Ah, when speaking a foreign language (and you speak Italian so well), it’s easy to make mistakes.”
She looked at his face. It was apparently innocent of satire.
She looked at his face. It seemed completely innocent of sarcasm.
“You meant that we could not always be together yet, he and I. You are right. What is to be done? I cannot afford a nurse, and Perfetta is too rough. When he was ill I dare not let her touch him. When he has to be washed, which happens now and then, who does it? I. I feed him, or settle what he shall have. I sleep with him and comfort him when he is unhappy in the night. No one talks, no one may sing to him but I. Do not be unfair this time; I like to do these things. But nevertheless (his voice became pathetic) they take up a great deal of time, and are not all suitable for a young man.”
“You meant that he and I can't always be together yet. You're right. What should we do? I can't afford a nurse, and Perfetta is too rough. When he was sick, I couldn't let her touch him. When he needs to be washed, which happens occasionally, who does it? I do. I feed him or decide what he should eat. I sleep with him and comfort him when he's upset at night. No one talks to him, and no one can sing to him but me. Don't be unfair this time; I enjoy doing these things. But still (his voice became sad), they take up a lot of time and aren’t really appropriate for a young man.”
“Not at all suitable,” said Miss Abbott, and closed her eyes wearily. Each moment her difficulties were increasing. She wished that she was not so tired, so open to contradictory impressions. She longed for Harriet’s burly obtuseness or for the soulless diplomacy of Mrs. Herriton.
“Not at all suitable,” said Miss Abbott, closing her eyes with exhaustion. Every moment, her problems were getting worse. She wished she wasn’t so tired, so easily affected by conflicting thoughts. She craved Harriet’s blunt insensitivity or the cold diplomacy of Mrs. Herriton.
“A little more wine?” asked Gino kindly.
“A little more wine?” Gino asked with a friendly smile.
“Oh, no, thank you! But marriage, Signor Carella, is a very serious step. Could you not manage more simply? Your relative, for example—”
“Oh, no, thank you! But marriage, Mr. Carella, is a really serious decision. Couldn’t you handle it in a simpler way? Your relative, for instance—”
“Empoli! I would as soon have him in England!”
“Empoli! I’d just as soon have him in England!”
“England, then—”
"England, then—"
He laughed.
He chuckled.
“He has a grandmother there, you know—Mrs. Theobald.”
“He has a grandmother there, you know—Mrs. Theobald.”
“He has a grandmother here. No, he is troublesome, but I must have him with me. I will not even have my father and mother too. For they would separate us,” he added.
“He has a grandmother here. No, he causes trouble, but I need him with me. I won’t even have my dad and mom with me either. Because they would split us up,” he added.
“How?”
“How do I?”
“They would separate our thoughts.”
“They would divide our thoughts.”
She was silent. This cruel, vicious fellow knew of strange refinements. The horrible truth, that wicked people are capable of love, stood naked before her, and her moral being was abashed. It was her duty to rescue the baby, to save it from contagion, and she still meant to do her duty. But the comfortable sense of virtue left her. She was in the presence of something greater than right or wrong.
She was quiet. This cruel, vicious guy knew about strange ways of doing things. The horrible truth, that evil people can feel love, was laid bare before her, and she felt ashamed. It was her responsibility to save the baby, to protect it from harm, and she still intended to do what was right. But her sense of moral superiority faded away. She was confronted with something bigger than just right and wrong.
Forgetting that this was an interview, he had strolled back into the room, driven by the instinct she had aroused in him. “Wake up!” he cried to his baby, as if it was some grown-up friend. Then he lifted his foot and trod lightly on its stomach.
Forgetting that this was an interview, he had walked back into the room, driven by the instinct she had sparked in him. “Wake up!” he shouted to his baby, as if it were a friend. Then he lifted his foot and stepped gently on its stomach.
Miss Abbott cried, “Oh, take care!” She was unaccustomed to this method of awakening the young.
Miss Abbott exclaimed, “Oh, be careful!” She wasn't used to this way of waking the young.
“He is not much longer than my boot, is he? Can you believe that in time his own boots will be as large? And that he also—”
“He isn't much longer than my boot, is he? Can you believe that eventually his own boots will be that big? And that he also—”
“But ought you to treat him like that?”
“But should you treat him like that?”
He stood with one foot resting on the little body, suddenly musing, filled with the desire that his son should be like him, and should have sons like him, to people the earth. It is the strongest desire that can come to a man—if it comes to him at all—stronger even than love or the desire for personal immortality. All men vaunt it, and declare that it is theirs; but the hearts of most are set elsewhere. It is the exception who comprehends that physical and spiritual life may stream out of him for ever. Miss Abbott, for all her goodness, could not comprehend it, though such a thing is more within the comprehension of women. And when Gino pointed first to himself and then to his baby and said “father-son,” she still took it as a piece of nursery prattle, and smiled mechanically.
He stood with one foot resting on the small body, suddenly thinking, filled with the wish that his son would be like him and would have sons like him to populate the earth. It’s the strongest desire that can come to a man—if it comes to him at all—stronger even than love or the wish for personal immortality. All men boast about it and claim it as their own, but most have their hearts set elsewhere. It’s rare for someone to understand that physical and spiritual life can flow out of him forever. Miss Abbott, for all her kindness, couldn’t grasp it, though it’s something women often understand better. And when Gino first pointed to himself and then to his baby and said “father-son,” she still took it as childish babble and smiled mechanically.
The child, the first fruits, woke up and glared at her. Gino did not greet it, but continued the exposition of his policy.
The child, the firstborn, woke up and glared at her. Gino didn’t acknowledge it but kept explaining his policy.
“This woman will do exactly what I tell her. She is fond of children. She is clean; she has a pleasant voice. She is not beautiful; I cannot pretend that to you for a moment. But she is what I require.”
“This woman will do exactly what I say. She likes kids. She is tidy; she has a nice voice. She isn't beautiful; I won't pretend otherwise for a second. But she is what I need.”
The baby gave a piercing yell.
The baby let out a loud scream.
“Oh, do take care!” begged Miss Abbott. “You are squeezing it.”
“Oh, please be careful!” Miss Abbott pleaded. “You’re squeezing it.”
“It is nothing. If he cries silently then you may be frightened. He thinks I am going to wash him, and he is quite right.”
“It’s nothing. If he cries quietly, then you might get scared. He thinks I’m going to wash him, and he’s completely right.”
“Wash him!” she cried. “You? Here?” The homely piece of news seemed to shatter all her plans. She had spent a long half-hour in elaborate approaches, in high moral attacks; she had neither frightened her enemy nor made him angry, nor interfered with the least detail of his domestic life.
“Wash him!” she exclaimed. “You? Here?” The surprising news seemed to completely disrupt all her plans. She had spent a long half-hour carefully strategizing and making moral arguments; she had neither intimidated her opponent nor made him furious, nor affected a single aspect of his home life.
“I had gone to the Farmacia,” he continued, “and was sitting there comfortably, when suddenly I remembered that Perfetta had heated water an hour ago—over there, look, covered with a cushion. I came away at once, for really he must be washed. You must excuse me. I can put it off no longer.”
“I had gone to the pharmacy,” he continued, “and was sitting there comfortably when it suddenly hit me that Perfetta had heated water an hour ago—over there, see, covered with a cushion. I had to leave right away because he really needs to be washed. You have to forgive me. I can’t put it off any longer.”
“I have wasted your time,” she said feebly.
“I’ve wasted your time,” she said weakly.
He walked sternly to the loggia and drew from it a large earthenware bowl. It was dirty inside; he dusted it with a tablecloth. Then he fetched the hot water, which was in a copper pot. He poured it out. He added cold. He felt in his pocket and brought out a piece of soap. Then he took up the baby, and, holding his cigar between his teeth, began to unwrap it. Miss Abbott turned to go.
He walked firmly to the porch and pulled out a large clay bowl. It was dirty inside; he wiped it with a tablecloth. Then he got the hot water from a copper pot. He poured it out and added some cold water. He felt in his pocket and pulled out a bar of soap. Then he picked up the baby and, holding his cigar between his teeth, started to unwrap it. Miss Abbott turned to leave.
“But why are you going? Excuse me if I wash him while we talk.”
“But why are you leaving? Sorry, but let me wash him while we chat.”
“I have nothing more to say,” said Miss Abbott. All she could do now was to find Philip, confess her miserable defeat, and bid him go in her stead and prosper better. She cursed her feebleness; she longed to expose it, without apologies or tears.
“I have nothing more to say,” said Miss Abbott. All she could do now was to find Philip, confess her miserable defeat, and tell him to go in her place and do better. She cursed her weakness; she wanted to reveal it, without apologies or tears.
“Oh, but stop a moment!” he cried. “You have not seen him yet.”
“Oh, wait a second!” he exclaimed. “You haven't seen him yet.”
“I have seen as much as I want, thank you.”
“I've seen all I want to, thanks.”
The last wrapping slid off. He held out to her in his two hands a little kicking image of bronze.
The last wrapping fell away. He presented to her in both hands a small, squirming figure made of bronze.
“Take him!”
"Get him!"
She would not touch the child.
She wouldn't touch the kid.
“I must go at once,” she cried; for the tears—the wrong tears—were hurrying to her eyes.
“I need to leave right now,” she exclaimed; for the tears—the inappropriate tears—were rushing to her eyes.
“Who would have believed his mother was blonde? For he is brown all over—brown every inch of him. Ah, but how beautiful he is! And he is mine; mine for ever. Even if he hates me he will be mine. He cannot help it; he is made out of me; I am his father.”
“Who would have thought his mom was blonde? Because he’s all brown—every single inch of him. Ah, but he’s so beautiful! And he’s mine; mine forever. Even if he hates me, he will still be mine. He can’t help it; he’s made from me; I’m his father.”
It was too late to go. She could not tell why, but it was too late. She turned away her head when Gino lifted his son to his lips. This was something too remote from the prettiness of the nursery. The man was majestic; he was a part of Nature; in no ordinary love scene could he ever be so great. For a wonderful physical tie binds the parents to the children; and—by some sad, strange irony—it does not bind us children to our parents. For if it did, if we could answer their love not with gratitude but with equal love, life would lose much of its pathos and much of its squalor, and we might be wonderfully happy. Gino passionately embracing, Miss Abbott reverently averting her eyes—both of them had parents whom they did not love so very much.
It was too late to leave. She couldn’t explain why, but it was too late. She turned her head away when Gino kissed his son. This felt too distant from the sweetness of the nursery. The man was impressive; he was part of Nature; he could never be this great in a typical love scene. A profound physical connection ties parents to their children; yet—by some sad, strange irony—it doesn’t bind us children to our parents. Because if it did, if we could respond to their love not with gratitude but with equal love, life would lose much of its sadness and messiness, and we might be incredibly happy. Gino passionately embracing, Miss Abbott respectfully looking away—both of them had parents they didn’t love very much.
“May I help you to wash him?” she asked humbly.
“Can I help you wash him?” she asked politely.
He gave her his son without speaking, and they knelt side by side, tucking up their sleeves. The child had stopped crying, and his arms and legs were agitated by some overpowering joy. Miss Abbott had a woman’s pleasure in cleaning anything—more especially when the thing was human. She understood little babies from long experience in a district, and Gino soon ceased to give her directions, and only gave her thanks.
He handed her his son without saying a word, and they knelt next to each other, rolling up their sleeves. The baby had stopped crying, and his arms and legs were moving with some overwhelming joy. Miss Abbott took great satisfaction in cleaning anything—especially when it was a person. She understood little babies well from her long experience in the area, and Gino quickly stopped giving her instructions, only expressing his gratitude.
“It is very kind of you,” he murmured, “especially in your beautiful dress. He is nearly clean already. Why, I take the whole morning! There is so much more of a baby than one expects. And Perfetta washes him just as she washes clothes. Then he screams for hours. My wife is to have a light hand. Ah, how he kicks! Has he splashed you? I am very sorry.”
“It’s really nice of you,” he said softly, “especially in that beautiful dress. He’s almost clean already. It takes me the whole morning! There’s so much more to a baby than you’d think. And Perfetta washes him just like she washes clothes. Then he cries for hours. My wife needs to be gentle. Ah, how he kicks! Did he splash you? I’m really sorry.”
“I am ready for a soft towel now,” said Miss Abbott, who was strangely exalted by the service.
“I’m ready for a soft towel now,” said Miss Abbott, who felt oddly uplifted by the service.
“Certainly! certainly!” He strode in a knowing way to a cupboard. But he had no idea where the soft towel was. Generally he dabbed the baby on the first dry thing he found.
“Sure! Sure!” He walked confidently to a cupboard. But he had no clue where the soft towel was. Usually, he dried the baby with the first dry thing he could grab.
“And if you had any powder.”
“And if you had any powder.”
He struck his forehead despairingly. Apparently the stock of powder was just exhausted.
He hit his forehead in frustration. It seemed that the supply of gunpowder had just run out.
She sacrificed her own clean handkerchief. He put a chair for her on the loggia, which faced westward, and was still pleasant and cool. There she sat, with twenty miles of view behind her, and he placed the dripping baby on her knee. It shone now with health and beauty: it seemed to reflect light, like a copper vessel. Just such a baby Bellini sets languid on his mother’s lap, or Signorelli flings wriggling on pavements of marble, or Lorenzo di Credi, more reverent but less divine, lays carefully among flowers, with his head upon a wisp of golden straw. For a time Gino contemplated them standing. Then, to get a better view, he knelt by the side of the chair, with his hands clasped before him.
She gave up her own clean handkerchief. He set a chair for her on the loggia, which faced west and was still pleasant and cool. There she sat, with a twenty-mile view behind her, while he placed the dripping baby on her lap. The baby now radiated health and beauty: it seemed to reflect light like a copper vessel. Just like the baby Bellini depicts languidly on his mother’s lap, or Signorelli tosses playfully onto marble pavements, or Lorenzo di Credi, more respectful but less divine, carefully lays among flowers, resting his head on a bit of golden straw. For a while, Gino observed them from a standing position. Then, for a better view, he knelt beside the chair with his hands clasped in front of him.
So they were when Philip entered, and saw, to all intents and purposes, the Virgin and Child, with Donor.
So they were when Philip entered and saw what looked like the Virgin and Child, along with the Donor.
“Hullo!” he exclaimed; for he was glad to find things in such cheerful trim.
“Hurry!” he exclaimed; for he was happy to see things in such a cheerful state.
She did not greet him, but rose up unsteadily and handed the baby to his father.
She didn't say hello, but got up awkwardly and gave the baby to his dad.
“No, do stop!” whispered Philip. “I got your note. I’m not offended; you’re quite right. I really want you; I could never have done it alone.”
“Please, stop!” Philip whispered. “I got your note. I'm not upset; you’re absolutely right. I really want you; I could never have done it by myself.”
No words came from her, but she raised her hands to her mouth, like one who is in sudden agony.
No words came from her, but she brought her hands to her mouth, like someone who is in sudden pain.
“Signorina, do stop a little—after all your kindness.”
“Miss, please stop for a moment—considering all your kindness.”
She burst into tears.
She started crying.
“What is it?” said Philip kindly.
“What is it?” Philip asked gently.
She tried to speak, and then went away weeping bitterly.
She tried to say something, then walked away crying hard.
The two men stared at each other. By a common impulse they ran on to the loggia. They were just in time to see Miss Abbott disappear among the trees.
The two men looked at each other. Without thinking, they dashed over to the loggia. They arrived just in time to see Miss Abbott vanish into the trees.
“What is it?” asked Philip again. There was no answer, and somehow he did not want an answer. Some strange thing had happened which he could not presume to understand. He would find out from Miss Abbott, if ever he found out at all.
“What is it?” Philip asked again. There was no answer, and for some reason, he didn't want one. Something weird had happened that he couldn't wrap his head around. He would ask Miss Abbott, if he ever found out at all.
“Well, your business,” said Gino, after a puzzled sigh.
“Well, it's your business,” said Gino, after a confused sigh.
“Our business—Miss Abbott has told you of that.”
“Our business—Miss Abbott has mentioned that to you.”
“No.”
“No.”
“But surely—”
“But of course—”
“She came for business. But she forgot about it; so did I.”
“She came for work. But she forgot about it; so did I.”
Perfetta, who had a genius for missing people, now returned, loudly complaining of the size of Monteriano and the intricacies of its streets. Gino told her to watch the baby. Then he offered Philip a cigar, and they proceeded to the business.
Perfetta, who had a knack for overlooking people, now came back, loudly grumbling about the size of Monteriano and the complexity of its streets. Gino told her to keep an eye on the baby. Then he offered Philip a cigar, and they got down to business.
Chapter 8
“Mad!” screamed Harriet,—“absolutely stark, staring, raving mad!”
Philip judged it better not to contradict her.
Philip thought it was better not to argue with her.
“What’s she here for? Answer me that. What’s she doing in Monteriano in August? Why isn’t she in Normandy? Answer that. She won’t. I can: she’s come to thwart us; she’s betrayed us—got hold of mother’s plans. Oh, goodness, my head!”
“What’s she here for? Tell me that. What’s she doing in Monteriano in August? Why isn’t she in Normandy? Answer that. She won’t. I can: she’s come to sabotage us; she’s betrayed us—got hold of mom’s plans. Oh, man, my head!”
He was unwise enough to reply, “You mustn’t accuse her of that. Though she is exasperating, she hasn’t come here to betray us.”
He was foolish enough to say, “You shouldn’t accuse her of that. Even though she’s annoying, she didn’t come here to betray us.”
“Then why has she come here? Answer me that.”
“Then why did she come here? Tell me that.”
He made no answer. But fortunately his sister was too much agitated to wait for one. “Bursting in on me—crying and looking a disgusting sight—and says she has been to see the Italian. Couldn’t even talk properly; pretended she had changed her opinions. What are her opinions to us? I was very calm. I said: ‘Miss Abbott, I think there is a little misapprehension in this matter. My mother, Mrs. Herriton—’ Oh, goodness, my head! Of course you’ve failed—don’t trouble to answer—I know you’ve failed. Where’s the baby, pray? Of course you haven’t got it. Dear sweet Caroline won’t let you. Oh, yes, and we’re to go away at once and trouble the father no more. Those are her commands. Commands! COMMANDS!” And Harriet also burst into tears.
He didn't respond. Luckily, his sister was too upset to wait for one. “She barged in on me—crying and looking a mess—and said she’s been to see the Italian. She couldn’t even speak properly; acted like she had changed her mind. Why should we care about her opinions? I stayed calm. I said: ‘Miss Abbott, I think there’s a bit of misunderstanding here. My mother, Mrs. Herriton—’ Oh, my head! Of course you’ve failed—don’t bother answering—I know you’ve failed. Where’s the baby, by the way? Of course you don’t have it. Sweet Caroline won’t allow it. Oh, yes, and we’re supposed to leave right away and not bother the father anymore. Those are her orders. Orders! ORDERS!” And Harriet started crying too.
Philip governed his temper. His sister was annoying, but quite reasonable in her indignation. Moreover, Miss Abbott had behaved even worse than she supposed.
Philip controlled his temper. His sister was irritating, but totally justified in her outrage. Plus, Miss Abbott had acted even worse than she realized.
“I’ve not got the baby, Harriet, but at the same time I haven’t exactly failed. I and Signor Carella are to have another interview this afternoon, at the Caffe Garibaldi. He is perfectly reasonable and pleasant. Should you be disposed to come with me, you would find him quite willing to discuss things. He is desperately in want of money, and has no prospect of getting any. I discovered that. At the same time, he has a certain affection for the child.” For Philip’s insight, or perhaps his opportunities, had not been equal to Miss Abbott’s.
“I don't have the baby, Harriet, but at the same time, I haven't really failed. Signor Carella and I are supposed to meet again this afternoon at the Caffe Garibaldi. He's completely reasonable and nice. If you're interested in coming with me, you'd find him more than willing to talk things over. He's in dire need of money and has no chance of getting any. I found that out. At the same time, he does have some affection for the child.” For Philip's understanding, or maybe his chances, hadn't matched Miss Abbott's.
Harriet would only sob, and accuse her brother of insulting her; how could a lady speak to such a horrible man? That, and nothing else, was enough to stamp Caroline. Oh, poor Lilia!
Harriet would just cry and blame her brother for insulting her; how could a lady talk to such a terrible man? That, and nothing more, was enough to define Caroline. Oh, poor Lilia!
Philip drummed on the bedroom window-sill. He saw no escape from the deadlock. For though he spoke cheerfully about his second interview with Gino, he felt at the bottom of his heart that it would fail. Gino was too courteous: he would not break off negotiations by sharp denial; he loved this civil, half-humorous bargaining. And he loved fooling his opponent, and did it so nicely that his opponent did not mind being fooled.
Philip tapped on the bedroom window sill. He saw no way out of the deadlock. Even though he talked happily about his second interview with Gino, deep down he knew it would end in failure. Gino was too polite; he wouldn’t end negotiations with a harsh refusal; he enjoyed this polite, half-joking back-and-forth. And he loved outsmarting his opponent, doing it so well that his opponent didn’t even mind being tricked.
“Miss Abbott has behaved extraordinarily,” he said at last; “but at the same time—”
“Miss Abbott has acted incredibly,” he finally said; “but at the same time—”
His sister would not hear him. She burst forth again on the madness, the interference, the intolerable duplicity of Caroline.
His sister wouldn't listen to him. She erupted again about the craziness, the meddling, the unbearable dishonesty of Caroline.
“Harriet, you must listen. My dear, you must stop crying. I have something quite important to say.”
“Harriet, you need to listen. My dear, please stop crying. I have something really important to say.”
“I shall not stop crying,” said she. But in time, finding that he would not speak to her, she did stop.
“I won’t stop crying,” she said. But eventually, realizing he wouldn’t talk to her, she did stop.
“Remember that Miss Abbott has done us no harm. She said nothing to him about the matter. He assumes that she is working with us: I gathered that.”
“Remember, Miss Abbott hasn’t done anything wrong. She didn’t mention anything to him about it. He thinks she’s on our side: that’s what I picked up.”
“Well, she isn’t.”
“Well, she’s not.”
“Yes; but if you’re careful she may be. I interpret her behaviour thus: She went to see him, honestly intending to get the child away. In the note she left me she says so, and I don’t believe she’d lie.”
“Yes; but if you're careful, she might be. Here’s how I see her behavior: She went to see him, genuinely planning to take the child away. In the note she left me, she says so, and I don't think she'd lie.”
“I do.”
"I do."
“When she got there, there was some pretty domestic scene between him and the baby, and she has got swept off in a gush of sentimentalism. Before very long, if I know anything about psychology, there will be a reaction. She’ll be swept back.”
“When she arrived, there was a really cozy scene between him and the baby, and she got caught up in a wave of sentimentality. Before long, if I know anything about psychology, there will be a reaction. She’ll be brought back down to earth.”
“I don’t understand your long words. Say plainly—”
“I don’t get your big words. Just say it plainly—”
“When she’s swept back, she’ll be invaluable. For she has made quite an impression on him. He thinks her so nice with the baby. You know, she washed it for him.”
“When she’s back on her feet, she’ll be essential. She’s really made an impression on him. He thinks she’s great with the baby. You know, she cleaned it for him.”
“Disgusting!”
“Gross!”
Harriet’s ejaculations were more aggravating than the rest of her. But Philip was averse to losing his temper. The access of joy that had come to him yesterday in the theatre promised to be permanent. He was more anxious than heretofore to be charitable towards the world.
Harriet’s outbursts were more annoying than anything else about her. But Philip was not keen on losing his cool. The burst of joy he had felt yesterday at the theater seemed like it would last. He was now more eager than ever to be kind to the world.
“If you want to carry off the baby, keep your peace with Miss Abbott. For if she chooses, she can help you better than I can.”
“If you want to take the baby, stay on good terms with Miss Abbott. Because if she decides to, she can help you more than I can.”
“There can be no peace between me and her,” said Harriet gloomily.
“There can be no peace between me and her,” said Harriet sadly.
“Did you—”
“Did you—”
“Oh, not all I wanted. She went away before I had finished speaking—just like those cowardly people!—into the church.”
“Oh, that’s not all I wanted. She left before I finished speaking—just like those cowardly people!—into the church.”
“Into Santa Deodata’s?”
"Into Santa Deodata's?"
“Yes; I’m sure she needs it. Anything more unchristian—”
“Yes; I’m sure she needs it. Anything more unchristian—”
In time Philip went to the church also, leaving his sister a little calmer and a little disposed to think over his advice. What had come over Miss Abbott? He had always thought her both stable and sincere. That conversation he had had with her last Christmas in the train to Charing Cross—that alone furnished him with a parallel. For the second time, Monteriano must have turned her head. He was not angry with her, for he was quite indifferent to the outcome of their expedition. He was only extremely interested.
In time, Philip went to church as well, leaving his sister a little calmer and somewhat open to considering his advice. What had happened to Miss Abbott? He had always regarded her as both steady and genuine. That conversation he had with her last Christmas on the train to Charing Cross—just that alone gave him a comparison. For the second time, Monteriano must have gotten to her. He wasn't angry with her, as he felt indifferent about how their trip would turn out. He was simply very intrigued.
It was now nearly midday, and the streets were clearing. But the intense heat had broken, and there was a pleasant suggestion of rain. The Piazza, with its three great attractions—the Palazzo Pubblico, the Collegiate Church, and the Caffe Garibaldi: the intellect, the soul, and the body—had never looked more charming. For a moment Philip stood in its centre, much inclined to be dreamy, and thinking how wonderful it must feel to belong to a city, however mean. He was here, however, as an emissary of civilization and as a student of character, and, after a sigh, he entered Santa Deodata’s to continue his mission.
It was almost noon now, and the streets were starting to clear. But the intense heat had eased, and there was a nice hint of rain in the air. The Piazza, with its three main attractions—the Palazzo Pubblico, the Collegiate Church, and the Caffe Garibaldi: the mind, the spirit, and the body—had never looked more inviting. For a moment, Philip stood in the center, feeling a bit dreamy and thinking about how wonderful it must be to belong to a city, no matter how humble. He was here, though, as a representative of civilization and a student of human nature, and after a sigh, he walked into Santa Deodata’s to continue his mission.
There had been a FESTA two days before, and the church still smelt of incense and of garlic. The little son of the sacristan was sweeping the nave, more for amusement than for cleanliness, sending great clouds of dust over the frescoes and the scattered worshippers. The sacristan himself had propped a ladder in the centre of the Deluge—which fills one of the nave spandrels—and was freeing a column from its wealth of scarlet calico. Much scarlet calico also lay upon the floor—for the church can look as fine as any theatre—and the sacristan’s little daughter was trying to fold it up. She was wearing a tinsel crown. The crown really belonged to St. Augustine. But it had been cut too big: it fell down over his cheeks like a collar: you never saw anything so absurd. One of the canons had unhooked it just before the FIESTA began, and had given it to the sacristan’s daughter.
There had been a FESTA two days ago, and the church still smelled of incense and garlic. The sacristan's little son was sweeping the nave, more for fun than for cleanliness, sending big clouds of dust over the frescoes and the scattered worshippers. The sacristan himself had propped a ladder in the center of the Deluge—which fills one of the nave spandrels—and was clearing a column from its pile of scarlet calico. There was also a lot of scarlet calico on the floor—because the church can look as impressive as any theater—and the sacristan’s little daughter was trying to fold it up. She was wearing a tinsel crown. The crown actually belonged to St. Augustine. But it had been cut too big: it fell down over her cheeks like a collar; you’d never seen anything so silly. One of the canons had unhooked it just before the FIESTA started and had given it to the sacristan’s daughter.
“Please,” cried Philip, “is there an English lady here?”
"Please," shouted Philip, "is there an English woman here?"
The man’s mouth was full of tin-tacks, but he nodded cheerfully towards a kneeling figure. In the midst of this confusion Miss Abbott was praying.
The man's mouth was filled with thumbtacks, but he cheerfully nodded at a kneeling figure. In the middle of this chaos, Miss Abbott was praying.
He was not much surprised: a spiritual breakdown was quite to be expected. For though he was growing more charitable towards mankind, he was still a little jaunty, and too apt to stake out beforehand the course that will be pursued by the wounded soul. It did not surprise him, however, that she should greet him naturally, with none of the sour self-consciousness of a person who had just risen from her knees. This was indeed the spirit of Santa Deodata’s, where a prayer to God is thought none the worse of because it comes next to a pleasant word to a neighbour. “I am sure that I need it,” said she; and he, who had expected her to be ashamed, became confused, and knew not what to reply.
He wasn’t really surprised; a spiritual breakdown was pretty much expected. Even though he was becoming more understanding towards people, he still had a bit of a carefree attitude and tended to assume in advance how the troubled person would act. It didn’t shock him that she greeted him easily, without the awkward self-consciousness of someone just getting up from prayer. This was truly the spirit of Santa Deodata, where saying a prayer to God is seen as just fine, especially when it follows a kind word to a neighbor. “I’m sure I need it,” she said, and he, who thought she would feel embarrassed, got flustered and didn’t know how to respond.
“I’ve nothing to tell you,” she continued. “I have simply changed straight round. If I had planned the whole thing out, I could not have treated you worse. I can talk it over now; but please believe that I have been crying.”
“I have nothing to say to you,” she went on. “I’ve completely turned around. If I had planned this whole thing, I couldn’t have treated you any worse. I can discuss it now, but please understand that I’ve been crying.”
“And please believe that I have not come to scold you,” said Philip. “I know what has happened.”
“And please believe that I’m not here to scold you,” said Philip. “I know what happened.”
“What?” asked Miss Abbott. Instinctively she led the way to the famous chapel, the fifth chapel on the right, wherein Giovanni da Empoli has painted the death and burial of the saint. Here they could sit out of the dust and the noise, and proceed with a discussion which promised to be important.
“What?” said Miss Abbott. Without thinking, she headed toward the famous chapel, the fifth one on the right, where Giovanni da Empoli painted the saint's death and burial. Here, they could escape the dust and noise and continue a discussion that seemed to be significant.
“What might have happened to me—he had made you believe that he loved the child.”
“What could have happened to me—you were convinced that he loved the child.”
“Oh, yes; he has. He will never give it up.”
“Oh, yes; he has. He will never let it go.”
“At present it is still unsettled.”
“At the moment, it is still uncertain.”
“It will never be settled.”
“It will never be resolved.”
“Perhaps not. Well, as I said, I know what has happened, and I am not here to scold you. But I must ask you to withdraw from the thing for the present. Harriet is furious. But she will calm down when she realizes that you have done us no harm, and will do none.”
“Maybe not. Anyway, like I said, I know what’s happened, and I’m not here to lecture you. But I need to ask you to step back from the situation for now. Harriet is really mad. But she’ll chill out once she understands that you haven’t harmed us and won’t.”
“I can do no more,” she said. “But I tell you plainly I have changed sides.”
“I can't do anything else,” she said. “But I’m telling you clearly that I’ve switched sides.”
“If you do no more, that is all we want. You promise not to prejudice our cause by speaking to Signor Carella?”
“If you don't do anything else, that's all we need. Do you promise not to harm our cause by talking to Signor Carella?”
“Oh, certainly. I don’t want to speak to him again; I shan’t ever see him again.”
“Oh, definitely. I don’t want to talk to him again; I won’t ever see him again.”
“Quite nice, wasn’t he?”
"Pretty nice, wasn't he?"
“Quite.”
"Totally."
“Well, that’s all I wanted to know. I’ll go and tell Harriet of your promise, and I think things’ll quiet down now.”
“Well, that’s all I wanted to know. I’ll go and tell Harriet about your promise, and I think things will calm down now.”
But he did not move, for it was an increasing pleasure to him to be near her, and her charm was at its strongest today. He thought less of psychology and feminine reaction. The gush of sentimentalism which had carried her away had only made her more alluring. He was content to observe her beauty and to profit by the tenderness and the wisdom that dwelt within her.
But he didn't move, because being near her brought him more and more pleasure, and her charm was at its peak today. He thought less about psychology and how women react. The wave of sentimentality that had overwhelmed her only made her more attractive. He was happy to take in her beauty and to appreciate the tenderness and wisdom that were part of her.
“Why aren’t you angry with me?” she asked, after a pause.
“Why aren’t you mad at me?” she asked, after a pause.
“Because I understand you—all sides, I think,—Harriet, Signor Carella, even my mother.”
“Because I get you—all sides, I think—Harriet, Signor Carella, even my mom.”
“You do understand wonderfully. You are the only one of us who has a general view of the muddle.”
“You really understand so well. You’re the only one among us who has a clear perspective on the mess.”
He smiled with pleasure. It was the first time she had ever praised him. His eyes rested agreeably on Santa Deodata, who was dying in full sanctity, upon her back. There was a window open behind her, revealing just such a view as he had seen that morning, and on her widowed mother’s dresser there stood just such another copper pot. The saint looked neither at the view nor at the pot, and at her widowed mother still less. For lo! she had a vision: the head and shoulders of St. Augustine were sliding like some miraculous enamel along the rough-cast wall. It is a gentle saint who is content with half another saint to see her die. In her death, as in her life, Santa Deodata did not accomplish much.
He smiled with pleasure. It was the first time she had ever praised him. His eyes rested contentedly on Santa Deodata, who was dying peacefully on her back. There was a window open behind her, showing the same view he had seen that morning, and on her widowed mother’s dresser, there stood another copper pot just like it. The saint didn't look at the view, the pot, or even her widowed mother. For behold! she had a vision: the head and shoulders of St. Augustine were gliding like some miraculous enamel along the rough wall. It is a gentle saint who is satisfied with just half another saint to witness her death. In her death, as in her life, Santa Deodata didn’t achieve much.
“So what are you going to do?” said Miss Abbott.
“So what are you going to do?” Miss Abbott asked.
Philip started, not so much at the words as at the sudden change in the voice. “Do?” he echoed, rather dismayed. “This afternoon I have another interview.”
Philip was taken aback, not just by the words but by the sudden change in tone. “Do?” he repeated, feeling a bit unsettled. “I have another interview this afternoon.”
“It will come to nothing. Well?”
“It won't amount to anything. So what?”
“Then another. If that fails I shall wire home for instructions. I dare say we may fail altogether, but we shall fail honourably.”
“Then we'll try something else. If that doesn’t work, I’ll contact home for guidance. I suppose we might completely fail, but if we do, we’ll fail with our heads held high.”
She had often been decided. But now behind her decision there was a note of passion. She struck him not as different, but as more important, and he minded it very much when she said—
She had often made up her mind. But now, behind her decision, there was a hint of passion. She didn't seem different to him, but she felt more significant, and he really cared when she said—
“That’s not doing anything! You would be doing something if you kidnapped the baby, or if you went straight away. But that! To fail honourably! To come out of the thing as well as you can! Is that all you are after?”
“That's not helping at all! You’d actually be doing something if you kidnapped the baby, or if you left right away. But that! To just manage to fail with some dignity! To walk away from this as best as you can! Is that really all you want?”
“Why, yes,” he stammered. “Since we talk openly, that is all I am after just now. What else is there? If I can persuade Signor Carella to give in, so much the better. If he won’t, I must report the failure to my mother and then go home. Why, Miss Abbott, you can’t expect me to follow you through all these turns—”
“Yeah, sure,” he stammered. “Since we’re being honest, that’s all I really want right now. What else is there? If I can convince Signor Carella to back down, great. If he doesn’t, I’ll have to tell my mom it didn’t work out and then head home. Honestly, Miss Abbott, you can’t expect me to keep following you through all these twists—”
“I don’t! But I do expect you to settle what is right and to follow that. Do you want the child to stop with his father, who loves him and will bring him up badly, or do you want him to come to Sawston, where no one loves him, but where he will be brought up well? There is the question put dispassionately enough even for you. Settle it. Settle which side you’ll fight on. But don’t go talking about an ‘honourable failure,’ which means simply not thinking and not acting at all.”
“I don’t! But I do expect you to decide what’s right and to stick to it. Do you want the child to stay with his father, who loves him but will raise him poorly, or do you want him to come to Sawston, where nobody loves him, but he will be raised well? That’s the question laid out clearly enough, even for you. Decide it. Decide which side you’ll support. But don’t bring up an ‘honorable failure,’ which just means not thinking and not doing anything at all.”
“Because I understand the position of Signor Carella and of you, it’s no reason that—”
“Just because I understand where Signor Carella and you are coming from, it doesn’t mean that—”
“None at all. Fight as if you think us wrong. Oh, what’s the use of your fair-mindedness if you never decide for yourself? Any one gets hold of you and makes you do what they want. And you see through them and laugh at them—and do it. It’s not enough to see clearly; I’m muddle-headed and stupid, and not worth a quarter of you, but I have tried to do what seemed right at the time. And you—your brain and your insight are splendid. But when you see what’s right you’re too idle to do it. You told me once that we shall be judged by our intentions, not by our accomplishments. I thought it a grand remark. But we must intend to accomplish—not sit intending on a chair.”
“Not at all. Fight like you believe we’re wrong. Oh, what’s the point of being fair-minded if you never make your own decisions? Anyone can sway you and make you do what they want. And you see through them, laugh at them—and still go along with it. It’s not enough to see things clearly; I’m confused and foolish, and not even close to your worth, but I’ve tried to do what seemed right at the time. And you—your brain and insight are amazing. But when you know what’s right, you’re too lazy to act on it. You once told me that we’ll be judged by our intentions, not by what we achieve. I thought that was a great point. But we need to intend to achieve— not just sit around intending.”
“You are wonderful!” he said gravely.
"You are amazing!" he said seriously.
“Oh, you appreciate me!” she burst out again. “I wish you didn’t. You appreciate us all—see good in all of us. And all the time you are dead—dead—dead. Look, why aren’t you angry?” She came up to him, and then her mood suddenly changed, and she took hold of both his hands. “You are so splendid, Mr. Herriton, that I can’t bear to see you wasted. I can’t bear—she has not been good to you—your mother.”
“Oh, you really appreciate me!” she exclaimed again. “I wish you didn’t. You appreciate everyone—see the good in all of us. And all the while, you’re dead—dead—dead. Look, why aren’t you angry?” She walked up to him, and then her mood shifted suddenly as she took both his hands. “You’re so amazing, Mr. Herriton, that I can’t stand to see you wasted. I can’t stand it—she hasn’t treated you well—your mother.”
“Miss Abbott, don’t worry over me. Some people are born not to do things. I’m one of them; I never did anything at school or at the Bar. I came out to stop Lilia’s marriage, and it was too late. I came out intending to get the baby, and I shall return an ‘honourable failure.’ I never expect anything to happen now, and so I am never disappointed. You would be surprised to know what my great events are. Going to the theatre yesterday, talking to you now—I don’t suppose I shall ever meet anything greater. I seem fated to pass through the world without colliding with it or moving it—and I’m sure I can’t tell you whether the fate’s good or evil. I don’t die—I don’t fall in love. And if other people die or fall in love they always do it when I’m just not there. You are quite right; life to me is just a spectacle, which—thank God, and thank Italy, and thank you—is now more beautiful and heartening than it has ever been before.”
“Miss Abbott, don’t worry about me. Some people are just not meant to achieve things. I’m one of them; I never accomplished anything at school or in law. I came here to stop Lilia’s marriage, but it was too late. I came with the intention of getting the baby, and I’ll return as an ‘honourable failure.’ I don’t expect anything to happen now, so I’m never let down. You’d be surprised at what my significant events are. Going to the theater yesterday, talking to you now—I doubt I’ll ever experience anything more profound. I seem destined to go through life without really engaging with it or affecting it—and I honestly can’t say whether that fate is good or bad. I don’t die—I don’t fall in love. And if other people do die or fall in love, it always happens when I’m just not around. You’re completely right; life for me is just a show, which—thank God, and thank Italy, and thank you—is now more beautiful and uplifting than it’s ever been before.”
She said solemnly, “I wish something would happen to you, my dear friend; I wish something would happen to you.”
She said seriously, “I hope something happens to you, my dear friend; I hope something happens to you.”
“But why?” he asked, smiling. “Prove to me why I don’t do as I am.”
“But why?” he asked with a smile. “Show me why I shouldn’t just do what I want.”
She also smiled, very gravely. She could not prove it. No argument existed. Their discourse, splendid as it had been, resulted in nothing, and their respective opinions and policies were exactly the same when they left the church as when they had entered it.
She also smiled, quite seriously. She couldn't prove it. There was no argument. Their conversation, as great as it had been, led to nothing, and their opinions and approaches were exactly the same when they left the church as when they entered it.
Harriet was rude at lunch. She called Miss Abbott a turncoat and a coward to her face. Miss Abbott resented neither epithet, feeling that one was justified and the other not unreasonable. She tried to avoid even the suspicion of satire in her replies. But Harriet was sure that she was satirical because she was so calm. She got more and more violent, and Philip at one time feared that she would come to blows.
Harriet was disrespectful at lunch. She called Miss Abbott a traitor and a coward right to her face. Miss Abbott didn't take offense to either name, believing one was fair and the other not entirely unwarranted. She made an effort to steer clear of any hint of sarcasm in her responses. But Harriet was convinced that Miss Abbott was being sarcastic because she remained so composed. Harriet became increasingly aggressive, and at one point, Philip worried that things might escalate to physical violence.
“Look here!” he cried, with something of the old manner, “it’s too hot for this. We’ve been talking and interviewing each other all the morning, and I have another interview this afternoon. I do stipulate for silence. Let each lady retire to her bedroom with a book.”
“Listen up!” he exclaimed, showing a hint of his old self, “it’s way too hot for this. We’ve been talking and interviewing each other all morning, and I have another interview this afternoon. I insist on some quiet. Let each lady head to her room with a book.”
“I retire to pack,” said Harriet. “Please remind Signor Carella, Philip, that the baby is to be here by half-past eight this evening.”
“I’m going to pack,” said Harriet. “Please remind Signor Carella, Philip, that the baby is supposed to be here by 8:30 tonight.”
“Oh, certainly, Harriet. I shall make a point of reminding him.”
“Oh, of course, Harriet. I'll definitely remind him.”
“And order a carriage to take us to the evening train.”
“Get a carriage to take us to the evening train.”
“And please,” said Miss Abbott, “would you order a carriage for me too?”
“And please,” said Miss Abbott, “could you also order a carriage for me?”
“You going?” he exclaimed.
"Are you going?" he exclaimed.
“Of course,” she replied, suddenly flushing. “Why not?”
“Of course,” she said, suddenly turning red. “Why not?”
“Why, of course you would be going. Two carriages, then. Two carriages for the evening train.” He looked at his sister hopelessly. “Harriet, whatever are you up to? We shall never be ready.”
“Of course you’re going. Two carriages, then. Two carriages for the evening train.” He looked at his sister in despair. “Harriet, what on earth are you planning? We’ll never be ready.”
“Order my carriage for the evening train,” said Harriet, and departed.
“Order my ride for the evening train,” said Harriet, and left.
“Well, I suppose I shall. And I shall also have my interview with Signor Carella.”
“Well, I guess I will. And I’ll also have my meeting with Signor Carella.”
Miss Abbott gave a little sigh.
Miss Abbott let out a small sigh.
“But why should you mind? Do you suppose that I shall have the slightest influence over him?”
“But why should you care? Do you really think I’ll have any impact on him?”
“No. But—I can’t repeat all that I said in the church. You ought never to see him again. You ought to bundle Harriet into a carriage, not this evening, but now, and drive her straight away.”
“No. But—I can’t go over everything I said in the church. You should never see him again. You should get Harriet into a carriage, not tonight, but right now, and take her away immediately.”
“Perhaps I ought. But it isn’t a very big ‘ought.’ Whatever Harriet and I do the issue is the same. Why, I can see the splendour of it—even the humour. Gino sitting up here on the mountain-top with his cub. We come and ask for it. He welcomes us. We ask for it again. He is equally pleasant. I’m agreeable to spend the whole week bargaining with him. But I know that at the end of it I shall descend empty-handed to the plains. It might be finer of me to make up my mind. But I’m not a fine character. And nothing hangs on it.”
“Maybe I should. But it’s not a strong ‘should.’ No matter what Harriet and I do, the situation remains the same. I can see the beauty of it—even the humor. Gino up here on the mountain-top with his cub. We come and ask for it. He welcomes us. We ask again. He’s just as friendly. I’m fine with spending the whole week negotiating with him. But I know that in the end, I’ll go back down to the plains empty-handed. It might be better for me to decide. But I’m not a great person. And nothing depends on it.”
“Perhaps I am extreme,” she said humbly. “I’ve been trying to run you, just like your mother. I feel you ought to fight it out with Harriet. Every little trifle, for some reason, does seem incalculably important today, and when you say of a thing that ‘nothing hangs on it,’ it sounds like blasphemy. There’s never any knowing—(how am I to put it?)—which of our actions, which of our idlenesses won’t have things hanging on it for ever.”
“Maybe I’m being dramatic,” she said modestly. “I’ve been trying to manage you, just like your mother. I think you should sort things out with Harriet. Every little detail seems incredibly important today, and when you say something has ‘nothing riding on it,’ it feels like sacrilege. You never really know—(how should I say this?)—which of our actions or which of our inactions will end up having lasting consequences.”
He assented, but her remark had only an aesthetic value. He was not prepared to take it to his heart. All the afternoon he rested—worried, but not exactly despondent. The thing would jog out somehow. Probably Miss Abbott was right. The baby had better stop where it was loved. And that, probably, was what the fates had decreed. He felt little interest in the matter, and he was sure that he had no influence.
He agreed, but her comment was only for show. He wasn't ready to take it to heart. All afternoon he rested—concerned, but not really hopeless. It would work itself out somehow. Miss Abbott was probably right. The baby was better off where it was loved. And that was likely what fate had decided. He felt little interest in the issue, and he was sure he had no impact on it.
It was not surprising, therefore, that the interview at the Caffe Garibaldi came to nothing. Neither of them took it very seriously. And before long Gino had discovered how things lay, and was ragging his companion hopelessly. Philip tried to look offended, but in the end he had to laugh. “Well, you are right,” he said. “This affair is being managed by the ladies.”
It wasn't surprising, then, that the interview at Caffe Garibaldi amounted to nothing. Neither of them took it very seriously. Before long, Gino figured out what was really going on and was teasing his friend relentlessly. Philip tried to act offended, but eventually, he couldn't help but laugh. "Well, you're right," he said. "This whole situation is being handled by the ladies."
“Ah, the ladies—the ladies!” cried the other, and then he roared like a millionaire for two cups of black coffee, and insisted on treating his friend, as a sign that their strife was over.
“Ah, the ladies—the ladies!” shouted the other, and then he laughed loudly like a millionaire for two cups of black coffee, insisting on treating his friend as a sign that their conflict was over.
“Well, I have done my best,” said Philip, dipping a long slice of sugar into his cup, and watching the brown liquid ascend into it. “I shall face my mother with a good conscience. Will you bear me witness that I’ve done my best?”
“Well, I’ve done my best,” Philip said, dipping a long piece of sugar into his cup and watching the brown liquid rise. “I can face my mom with a clear conscience. Will you testify that I’ve done my best?”
“My poor fellow, I will!” He laid a sympathetic hand on Philip’s knee.
“My poor guy, I will!” He put a caring hand on Philip’s knee.
“And that I have—” The sugar was now impregnated with coffee, and he bent forward to swallow it. As he did so his eyes swept the opposite of the Piazza, and he saw there, watching them, Harriet. “Mia sorella!” he exclaimed. Gino, much amused, laid his hand upon the little table, and beat the marble humorously with his fists. Harriet turned away and began gloomily to inspect the Palazzo Pubblico.
“And that I have—” The sugar was now soaked with coffee, and he leaned forward to drink it. As he did, his eyes scanned the other side of the Piazza, and he spotted Harriet watching them. “My sister!” he exclaimed. Gino, quite entertained, placed his hand on the small table and playfully tapped the marble with his fists. Harriet turned away and started to gloomily examine the Palazzo Pubblico.
“Poor Harriet!” said Philip, swallowing the sugar. “One more wrench and it will all be over for her; we are leaving this evening.”
“Poor Harriet!” Philip said, gulping down the sugar. “One more twist and it will all be over for her; we’re leaving this evening.”
Gino was sorry for this. “Then you will not be here this evening as you promised us. All three leaving?”
Gino felt bad about this. “So you won't be here tonight as you promised us. Are you all leaving?”
“All three,” said Philip, who had not revealed the secession of Miss Abbott; “by the night train; at least, that is my sister’s plan. So I’m afraid I shan’t be here.”
“All three,” said Philip, who had not mentioned Miss Abbott leaving; “by the night train; at least, that’s my sister’s plan. So I’m afraid I won’t be here.”
They watched the departing figure of Harriet, and then entered upon the final civilities. They shook each other warmly by both hands. Philip was to come again next year, and to write beforehand. He was to be introduced to Gino’s wife, for he was told of the marriage now. He was to be godfather to his next baby. As for Gino, he would remember some time that Philip liked vermouth. He begged him to give his love to Irma. Mrs. Herriton—should he send her his sympathetic regards? No; perhaps that would hardly do.
They watched Harriet walk away, then moved on to the final pleasantries. They shook hands warmly. Philip was planning to come back next year and promised to write ahead of time. He would be introduced to Gino’s wife since he just learned about the marriage. He was also going to be the godfather to their next baby. Gino would eventually remember that Philip liked vermouth. He asked Philip to send his love to Irma. As for Mrs. Herriton—should he send her his sympathies? Probably not; that might not be appropriate.
So the two young men parted with a good deal of genuine affection. For the barrier of language is sometimes a blessed barrier, which only lets pass what is good. Or—to put the thing less cynically—we may be better in new clean words, which have never been tainted by our pettiness or vice. Philip, at all events, lived more graciously in Italian, the very phrases of which entice one to be happy and kind. It was horrible to think of the English of Harriet, whose every word would be as hard, as distinct, and as unfinished as a lump of coal.
So the two young men said goodbye with a lot of genuine affection. Sometimes, the barrier of language is a blessing that only allows in the good things. Or—less cynically—we might be better off using fresh, clean words that haven't been stained by our smallness or flaws. Philip, anyway, expressed himself more graciously in Italian, where the phrases encourage happiness and kindness. It was terrible to think of Harriet’s English, where every word felt as hard, clear, and rough as a lump of coal.
Harriet, however, talked little. She had seen enough to know that her brother had failed again, and with unwonted dignity she accepted the situation. She did her packing, she wrote up her diary, she made a brown paper cover for the new Baedeker. Philip, finding her so amenable, tried to discuss their future plans. But she only said that they would sleep in Florence, and told him to telegraph for rooms. They had supper alone. Miss Abbott did not come down. The landlady told them that Signor Carella had called on Miss Abbott to say good-bye, but she, though in, had not been able to see him. She also told them that it had begun to rain. Harriet sighed, but indicated to her brother that he was not responsible.
Harriet, on the other hand, didn’t say much. She had seen enough to realize that her brother had messed up again, and with unusual poise, she accepted what had happened. She packed her things, updated her diary, and made a brown paper cover for the new Baedeker. Philip, noticing how agreeable she was, tried to talk about their future plans. But she simply said they would sleep in Florence and told him to send a telegram for rooms. They had dinner alone. Miss Abbott didn’t come down. The landlady told them that Signor Carella had stopped by to say goodbye to Miss Abbott, but although she was in, she hadn’t been able to see him. She also mentioned that it had started to rain. Harriet sighed but signaled to her brother that he wasn’t to blame.
The carriages came round at a quarter past eight. It was not raining much, but the night was extraordinarily dark, and one of the drivers wanted to go slowly to the station. Miss Abbott came down and said that she was ready, and would start at once.
The carriages arrived at 8:15. It wasn't raining much, but the night was incredibly dark, and one of the drivers wanted to drive slowly to the station. Miss Abbott came down and said she was ready and would leave right away.
“Yes, do,” said Philip, who was standing in the hall. “Now that we have quarrelled we scarcely want to travel in procession all the way down the hill. Well, good-bye; it’s all over at last; another scene in my pageant has shifted.”
“Yes, go ahead,” said Philip, who was standing in the hallway. “Now that we’ve argued, we hardly feel like walking in a parade all the way down the hill. Well, goodbye; it’s finally over; another scene in my show has changed.”
“Good-bye; it’s been a great pleasure to see you. I hope that won’t shift, at all events.” She gripped his hand.
“Goodbye; it’s been wonderful to see you. I hope that doesn’t change, in any case.” She held onto his hand.
“You sound despondent,” he said, laughing. “Don’t forget that you return victorious.”
“You sound down,” he said, laughing. “Don’t forget that you're coming back as a winner.”
“I suppose I do,” she replied, more despondently than ever, and got into the carriage. He concluded that she was thinking of her reception at Sawston, whither her fame would doubtless precede her. Whatever would Mrs. Herriton do? She could make things quite unpleasant when she thought it right. She might think it right to be silent, but then there was Harriet. Who would bridle Harriet’s tongue? Between the two of them Miss Abbott was bound to have a bad time. Her reputation, both for consistency and for moral enthusiasm, would be lost for ever.
“I guess I do,” she said, more hopeless than ever, and got into the carriage. He figured she was thinking about how she’d be received at Sawston, where her reputation would surely precede her. What would Mrs. Herriton do? She could make things really uncomfortable when she decided to. She might choose to stay quiet, but then there was Harriet. Who would rein in Harriet’s tongue? With the two of them, Miss Abbott was sure to have a rough time. Her reputation for being consistent and morally passionate would be gone forever.
“It’s hard luck on her,” he thought. “She is a good person. I must do for her anything I can.” Their intimacy had been very rapid, but he too hoped that it would not shift. He believed that he understood her, and that she, by now, had seen the worst of him. What if after a long time—if after all—he flushed like a boy as he looked after her carriage.
“It’s unfortunate for her,” he thought. “She’s a good person. I’ll do whatever I can for her.” Their closeness had developed quickly, but he hoped it would remain strong. He felt like he understood her, and that she had already seen his worst side. What if, after a long time—if it came down to it—he blushed like a teenager as he watched her carriage leave?
He went into the dining-room to look for Harriet. Harriet was not to be found. Her bedroom, too, was empty. All that was left of her was the purple prayer-book which lay open on the bed. Philip took it up aimlessly, and saw—“Blessed be the Lord my God who teacheth my hands to war and my fingers to fight.” He put the book in his pocket, and began to brood over more profitable themes.
He walked into the dining room to look for Harriet. Harriet was nowhere to be found. Her bedroom was empty too. All that remained of her was the purple prayer book lying open on the bed. Philip picked it up without thinking and saw—“Blessed be the Lord my God who teaches my hands to war and my fingers to fight.” He put the book in his pocket and started to think about more useful things.
Santa Deodata gave out half past eight. All the luggage was on, and still Harriet had not appeared. “Depend upon it,” said the landlady, “she has gone to Signor Carella’s to say good-bye to her little nephew.” Philip did not think it likely. They shouted all over the house and still there was no Harriet. He began to be uneasy. He was helpless without Miss Abbott; her grave, kind face had cheered him wonderfully, even when it looked displeased. Monteriano was sad without her; the rain was thickening; the scraps of Donizetti floated tunelessly out of the wineshops, and of the great tower opposite he could only see the base, fresh papered with the advertisements of quacks.
Santa Deodata left at eight-thirty. All the luggage was loaded, and Harriet still hadn’t shown up. “I’ll bet,” said the landlady, “she went to Signor Carella’s to say goodbye to her little nephew.” Philip didn’t think that was very likely. They called out all over the house, but there was still no sign of Harriet. He started to feel anxious. He felt lost without Miss Abbott; her serious, kind face had lifted his spirits remarkably, even when it looked displeased. Monteriano felt gloomy without her; the rain was getting heavier; bits of Donizetti’s music drifted out of the wine bars, and from the grand tower across the way, he could only see the base, newly plastered with ads from charlatans.
A man came up the street with a note. Philip read, “Start at once. Pick me up outside the gate. Pay the bearer. H. H.”
A man walked up the street with a note. Philip read, “Start right away. Pick me up outside the gate. Pay the messenger. H. H.”
“Did the lady give you this note?” he cried.
“Did the lady give you this note?” he yelled.
The man was unintelligible.
The man was hard to understand.
“Speak up!” exclaimed Philip. “Who gave it you—and where?”
“Speak up!” Philip shouted. “Who gave it to you—and where?”
Nothing but horrible sighings and bubblings came out of the man.
Nothing but terrible sighs and bubbling noises came from the man.
“Be patient with him,” said the driver, turning round on the box. “It is the poor idiot.” And the landlady came out of the hotel and echoed “The poor idiot. He cannot speak. He takes messages for us all.”
“Be patient with him,” said the driver, turning around on the box. “It's the poor guy.” And the landlady came out of the hotel and repeated, “The poor guy. He can’t speak. He takes messages for all of us.”
Philip then saw that the messenger was a ghastly creature, quite bald, with trickling eyes and grey twitching nose. In another country he would have been shut up; here he was accepted as a public institution, and part of Nature’s scheme.
Philip then saw that the messenger was a grotesque figure, completely bald, with watery eyes and a grey, twitching nose. In another place, he would have been locked away; here, he was accepted as a public figure and part of Nature's plan.
“Ugh!” shuddered the Englishman. “Signora padrona, find out from him; this note is from my sister. What does it mean? Where did he see her?”
“Ugh!” the Englishman shuddered. “Signora padrona, ask him about this; this note is from my sister. What does it mean? Where did he see her?”
“It is no good,” said the landlady. “He understands everything but he can explain nothing.”
“It’s no use,” said the landlady. “He gets everything but can’t explain a thing.”
“He has visions of the saints,” said the man who drove the cab.
"He sees visions of the saints," said the cab driver.
“But my sister—where has she gone? How has she met him?”
“But my sister—where did she go? How did she meet him?”
“She has gone for a walk,” asserted the landlady. It was a nasty evening, but she was beginning to understand the English. “She has gone for a walk—perhaps to wish good-bye to her little nephew. Preferring to come back another way, she has sent you this note by the poor idiot and is waiting for you outside the Siena gate. Many of my guests do this.”
“She’s gone for a walk,” the landlady stated. It was a miserable evening, but she was starting to understand the English. “She’s gone for a walk—maybe to say goodbye to her little nephew. Choosing to come back another way, she sent you this note with the poor idiot and is waiting for you outside the Siena gate. A lot of my guests do this.”
There was nothing to do but to obey the message. He shook hands with the landlady, gave the messenger a nickel piece, and drove away. After a dozen yards the carriage stopped. The poor idiot was running and whimpering behind.
There was nothing to do but follow the message. He shook hands with the landlady, handed the messenger a nickel, and drove off. After about a dozen yards, the carriage came to a stop. The poor guy was running and whimpering behind them.
“Go on,” cried Philip. “I have paid him plenty.”
“Go ahead,” shouted Philip. “I've given him a lot of money.”
A horrible hand pushed three soldi into his lap. It was part of the idiot’s malady only to receive what was just for his services. This was the change out of the nickel piece.
A terrible hand shoved three coins into his lap. It was part of the idiot's problem to only get what he deserved for his services. This was the change from the nickel.
“Go on!” shouted Philip, and flung the money into the road. He was frightened at the episode; the whole of life had become unreal. It was a relief to be out of the Siena gate. They drew up for a moment on the terrace. But there was no sign of Harriet. The driver called to the Dogana men. But they had seen no English lady pass.
“Go on!” Philip yelled, tossing the money into the street. He was shaken by what had just happened; everything felt surreal. It was a relief to be outside the Siena gate. They paused for a moment on the terrace. But there was no sign of Harriet. The driver called out to the Dogana workers. But they hadn’t seen any English lady pass by.
“What am I to do?” he cried; “it is not like the lady to be late. We shall miss the train.”
“What should I do?” he shouted; “it's not like her to be late. We're going to miss the train.”
“Let us drive slowly,” said the driver, “and you shall call her by name as we go.”
“Let's drive slowly,” said the driver, “and you can call her by name as we go.”
So they started down into the night, Philip calling “Harriet! Harriet! Harriet!” And there she was, waiting for them in the wet, at the first turn of the zigzag.
So they headed down into the night, Philip shouting, “Harriet! Harriet! Harriet!” And there she was, waiting for them in the rain, at the first bend of the zigzag.
“Harriet, why don’t you answer?”
“Harriet, why aren’t you answering?”
“I heard you coming,” said she, and got quickly in. Not till then did he see that she carried a bundle.
“I heard you coming,” she said, quickly stepping inside. It was only then that he noticed she was holding a bundle.
“What’s that?”
"What's that?"
“Hush—”
“Quiet—”
“Whatever is that?”
"What is that?"
“Hush—sleeping.”
"Shh—sleeping."
Harriet had succeeded where Miss Abbott and Philip had failed. It was the baby.
Harriet had accomplished what Miss Abbott and Philip couldn't. It was the baby.
She would not let him talk. The baby, she repeated, was asleep, and she put up an umbrella to shield it and her from the rain. He should hear all later, so he had to conjecture the course of the wonderful interview—an interview between the South pole and the North. It was quite easy to conjecture: Gino crumpling up suddenly before the intense conviction of Harriet; being told, perhaps, to his face that he was a villain; yielding his only son perhaps for money, perhaps for nothing. “Poor Gino,” he thought. “He’s no greater than I am, after all.”
She wouldn’t let him speak. The baby, she kept saying, was asleep, and she opened an umbrella to protect both it and herself from the rain. He would hear everything later, so he had to imagine the course of the amazing conversation—one between the South Pole and the North. It was pretty easy to guess: Gino collapsing suddenly under Harriet's strong conviction; maybe being told to his face that he was a villain; possibly giving up his only son for money, or maybe for nothing. “Poor Gino,” he thought. “He’s no better than I am, after all.”
Then he thought of Miss Abbott, whose carriage must be descending the darkness some mile or two below them, and his easy self-accusation failed. She, too, had conviction; he had felt its force; he would feel it again when she knew this day’s sombre and unexpected close.
Then he thought of Miss Abbott, whose carriage must be making its way down the dark road a mile or two below them, and his casual self-blame faded away. She also had strong beliefs; he had felt their power; he would feel it again when she learned about the gloomy and unexpected end to this day.
“You have been pretty secret,” he said; “you might tell me a little now. What do we pay for him? All we’ve got?”
“You've been really secretive,” he said. “You could share a bit now. How much do we owe for him? Everything we have?”
“Hush!” answered Harriet, and dandled the bundle laboriously, like some bony prophetess—Judith, or Deborah, or Jael. He had last seen the baby sprawling on the knees of Miss Abbott, shining and naked, with twenty miles of view behind him, and his father kneeling by his feet. And that remembrance, together with Harriet, and the darkness, and the poor idiot, and the silent rain, filled him with sorrow and with the expectation of sorrow to come.
“Shh!” Harriet replied, struggling to hold the baby like some skeletal prophetess—Judith, or Deborah, or Jael. The last time he saw the baby, it was sprawled on Miss Abbott's lap, shiny and naked, with a view stretching for miles behind him, and his father kneeling by his feet. That memory, along with Harriet, the darkness, the poor idiot, and the quiet rain, filled him with sorrow and a sense of impending sorrow.
Monteriano had long disappeared, and he could see nothing but the occasional wet stem of an olive, which their lamp illumined as they passed it. They travelled quickly, for this driver did not care how fast he went to the station, and would dash down each incline and scuttle perilously round the curves.
Monteriano had long vanished, and he could see nothing but the occasional wet olive stem, which their lamp lit up as they passed by. They were moving quickly, since this driver didn't mind how fast he went to the station and would race down each hill and navigate the curves recklessly.
“Look here, Harriet,” he said at last, “I feel bad; I want to see the baby.”
“Look, Harriet,” he finally said, “I feel awful; I want to see the baby.”
“Hush!”
“Quiet!”
“I don’t mind if I do wake him up. I want to see him. I’ve as much right in him as you.”
“I don’t care if I wake him up. I want to see him. I have just as much right to him as you do.”
Harriet gave in. But it was too dark for him to see the child’s face. “Wait a minute,” he whispered, and before she could stop him he had lit a match under the shelter of her umbrella. “But he’s awake!” he exclaimed. The match went out.
Harriet gave in. But it was too dark for him to see the child's face. “Wait a second,” he whispered, and before she could stop him, he had lit a match under the shelter of her umbrella. “But he’s awake!” he exclaimed. The match went out.
“Good ickle quiet boysey, then.”
"Good little quiet boy, then."
Philip winced. “His face, do you know, struck me as all wrong.”
Philip winced. “His face, you know, just seemed completely off to me.”
“All wrong?”
"Everything wrong?"
“All puckered queerly.”
"All puckered strangely."
“Of course—with the shadows—you couldn’t see him.”
“Of course—with the shadows—you couldn’t see him.”
“Well, hold him up again.” She did so. He lit another match. It went out quickly, but not before he had seen that the baby was crying.
“Well, hold him up again.” She did. He lit another match. It went out quickly, but not before he had seen that the baby was crying.
“Nonsense,” said Harriet sharply. “We should hear him if he cried.”
“Nonsense,” Harriet said sharply. “We’d hear him if he cried.”
“No, he’s crying hard; I thought so before, and I’m certain now.”
“No, he’s really crying; I thought so before, and I’m sure of it now.”
Harriet touched the child’s face. It was bathed in tears. “Oh, the night air, I suppose,” she said, “or perhaps the wet of the rain.”
Harriet lightly brushed the child's face, which was streaked with tears. "Oh, it must be the night air, I guess," she said, "or maybe it's the rain."
“I say, you haven’t hurt it, or held it the wrong way, or anything; it is too uncanny—crying and no noise. Why didn’t you get Perfetta to carry it to the hotel instead of muddling with the messenger? It’s a marvel he understood about the note.”
“I mean, you haven't hurt it, or held it the wrong way, or anything; it's just freaky—crying and no sound. Why didn't you have Perfetta take it to the hotel instead of messing around with the messenger? It's amazing he got what the note was about.”
“Oh, he understands.” And he could feel her shudder. “He tried to carry the baby—”
“Oh, he gets it.” And he could feel her shiver. “He tried to hold the baby—”
“But why not Gino or Perfetta?”
“But why not Gino or Perfetta?”
“Philip, don’t talk. Must I say it again? Don’t talk. The baby wants to sleep.” She crooned harshly as they descended, and now and then she wiped up the tears which welled inexhaustibly from the little eyes. Philip looked away, winking at times himself. It was as if they were travelling with the whole world’s sorrow, as if all the mystery, all the persistency of woe were gathered to a single fount. The roads were now coated with mud, and the carriage went more quietly but not less swiftly, sliding by long zigzags into the night. He knew the landmarks pretty well: here was the crossroad to Poggibonsi; and the last view of Monteriano, if they had light, would be from here. Soon they ought to come to that little wood where violets were so plentiful in spring. He wished the weather had not changed; it was not cold, but the air was extraordinarily damp. It could not be good for the child.
“Philip, don’t talk. Do I have to say it again? Don’t talk. The baby wants to sleep.” She said sharply as they went down, and every now and then she wiped the tears that kept flowing from the little eyes. Philip looked away, blinking a bit himself. It felt like they were carrying the weight of the entire world's sorrow, as if all the mystery and constant sadness were centered in one spot. The roads were now muddy, and the carriage moved more quietly but just as quickly, slipping through long curves into the night. He knew the landmarks pretty well: here was the turnoff to Poggibonsi; and the last view of Monteriano, if there was any light, would be from this point. Soon they should arrive at that little woods where violets bloomed abundantly in spring. He wished the weather hadn't changed; it wasn’t cold, but the air was really damp. It couldn't be good for the child.
“I suppose he breathes, and all that sort of thing?” he said.
“I guess he breathes and all that stuff?” he said.
“Of course,” said Harriet, in an angry whisper. “You’ve started him again. I’m certain he was asleep. I do wish you wouldn’t talk; it makes me so nervous.”
“Of course,” Harriet said in an angry whisper. “You’ve woken him up again. I’m sure he was asleep. I really wish you wouldn’t talk; it makes me so nervous.”
“I’m nervous too. I wish he’d scream. It’s too uncanny. Poor Gino! I’m terribly sorry for Gino.”
“I’m nervous too. I wish he’d yell. It’s too strange. Poor Gino! I feel really bad for Gino.”
“Are you?”
"Are you?"
“Because he’s weak—like most of us. He doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t grip on to life. But I like that man, and I’m sorry for him.”
“Because he’s weak—like most of us. He doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t hold on to life. But I like that guy, and I feel sorry for him.”
Naturally enough she made no answer.
Of course, she didn't respond.
“You despise him, Harriet, and you despise me. But you do us no good by it. We fools want some one to set us on our feet. Suppose a really decent woman had set up Gino—I believe Caroline Abbott might have done it—mightn’t he have been another man?”
“You hate him, Harriet, and you hate me. But that doesn’t help us at all. We fools need someone to help us stand tall. If a truly good woman had taken Gino under her wing—I think Caroline Abbott could have done it—wouldn’t he have turned out to be a different man?”
“Philip,” she interrupted, with an attempt at nonchalance, “do you happen to have those matches handy? We might as well look at the baby again if you have.”
“Philip,” she interrupted, trying to sound casual, “do you have those matches with you? We might as well check out the baby again if you do.”
The first match blew out immediately. So did the second. He suggested that they should stop the carriage and borrow the lamp from the driver.
The first match went out right away. So did the second. He suggested that they should stop the carriage and borrow the lamp from the driver.
“Oh, I don’t want all that bother. Try again.”
“Oh, I don’t want to deal with all that. Try again.”
They entered the little wood as he tried to strike the third match. At last it caught. Harriet poised the umbrella rightly, and for a full quarter minute they contemplated the face that trembled in the light of the trembling flame. Then there was a shout and a crash. They were lying in the mud in darkness. The carriage had overturned.
They walked into the small woods while he tried to light the third match. Finally, it ignited. Harriet positioned the umbrella correctly, and for a full fifteen seconds, they stared at the face flickering in the light of the wavering flame. Then there was a shout and a loud crash. They found themselves lying in the mud, in the dark. The carriage had flipped over.
Philip was a good deal hurt. He sat up and rocked himself to and fro, holding his arm. He could just make out the outline of the carriage above him, and the outlines of the carriage cushions and of their luggage upon the grey road. The accident had taken place in the wood, where it was even darker than in the open.
Philip was really hurt. He sat up and rocked back and forth, holding his arm. He could barely see the shape of the carriage above him, along with the shapes of the carriage cushions and their luggage on the gray road. The accident had happened in the woods, where it was even darker than out in the open.
“Are you all right?” he managed to say. Harriet was screaming, the horse was kicking, the driver was cursing some other man.
“Are you okay?” he managed to say. Harriet was screaming, the horse was kicking, and the driver was cursing at someone else.
Harriet’s screams became coherent. “The baby—the baby—it slipped—it’s gone from my arms—I stole it!”
Harriet's screams turned into words. "The baby—the baby—it slipped away—it's gone from my arms—I took it!"
“God help me!” said Philip. A cold circle came round his mouth, and, he fainted.
“God help me!” said Philip. A cold sensation washed over his mouth, and he passed out.
When he recovered it was still the same confusion. The horse was kicking, the baby had not been found, and Harriet still screamed like a maniac, “I stole it! I stole it! I stole it! It slipped out of my arms!”
When he came to, everything was still a mess. The horse was kicking, the baby hadn’t been found, and Harriet was still screaming frantically, “I took it! I took it! I took it! It slipped out of my hands!”
“Keep still!” he commanded the driver. “Let no one move. We may tread on it. Keep still.”
“Stay still!” he ordered the driver. “No one move. We might step on it. Stay still.”
For a moment they all obeyed him. He began to crawl through the mud, touching first this, then that, grasping the cushions by mistake, listening for the faintest whisper that might guide him. He tried to light a match, holding the box in his teeth and striking at it with the uninjured hand. At last he succeeded, and the light fell upon the bundle which he was seeking.
For a moment, they all listened to him. He started to crawl through the mud, touching this and then that, mistakenly grabbing the cushions, and straining to hear the slightest sound that could help him. He tried to light a match, holding the box in his teeth and striking it with his unhurt hand. Finally, he managed to get it lit, and the light illuminated the bundle he was looking for.
It had rolled off the road into the wood a little way, and had fallen across a great rut. So tiny it was that had it fallen lengthways it would have disappeared, and he might never have found it.
It had rolled off the road and into the woods a bit, landing across a big rut. It was so small that if it had fallen lengthwise, it would have disappeared, and he might never have found it.
“I stole it! I and the idiot—no one was there.” She burst out laughing.
“I took it! That idiot and I—there was no one around.” She suddenly laughed out loud.
He sat down and laid it on his knee. Then he tried to cleanse the face from the mud and the rain and the tears. His arm, he supposed, was broken, but he could still move it a little, and for the moment he forgot all pain. He was listening—not for a cry, but for the tick of a heart or the slightest tremor of breath.
He sat down and placed it on his knee. Then he tried to wipe the mud, rain, and tears off the face. He thought his arm was broken, but he could still move it a little, and for the moment he forgot all about the pain. He was listening—not for a cry, but for the tick of a heartbeat or the slightest tremor of breath.
“Where are you?” called a voice. It was Miss Abbott, against whose carriage they had collided. She had relit one of the lamps, and was picking her way towards him.
“Where are you?” called a voice. It was Miss Abbott, whose carriage they had bumped into. She had lit one of the lamps again and was making her way towards him.
“Silence!” he called again, and again they obeyed. He shook the bundle; he breathed into it; he opened his coat and pressed it against him. Then he listened, and heard nothing but the rain and the panting horses, and Harriet, who was somewhere chuckling to herself in the dark.
“Silence!” he called again, and once more they obeyed. He shook the bundle, breathed into it, and opened his coat to press it against himself. Then he listened and heard nothing but the rain, the heavy breathing of the horses, and Harriet, who was somewhere in the dark, chuckling to herself.
Miss Abbott approached, and took it gently from him. The face was already chilly, but thanks to Philip it was no longer wet. Nor would it again be wetted by any tear.
Miss Abbott approached and gently took it from him. The face was already cold, but thanks to Philip, it was no longer wet. Nor would it be wet by any tear again.
Chapter 9
The details of Harriet’s crime were never known. In her illness she spoke more of the inlaid box that she lent to Lilia—lent, not given—than of recent troubles. It was clear that she had gone prepared for an interview with Gino, and finding him out, she had yielded to a grotesque temptation. But how far this was the result of ill-temper, to what extent she had been fortified by her religion, when and how she had met the poor idiot—these questions were never answered, nor did they interest Philip greatly. Detection was certain: they would have been arrested by the police of Florence or Milan, or at the frontier. As it was, they had been stopped in a simpler manner a few miles out of the town.
The details of Harriet's crime were never revealed. While she was ill, she talked more about the inlaid box she lent to Lilia—lent, not given—than about her recent troubles. It was obvious she had gone ready for a meeting with Gino, and when she found him unavailable, she had given in to a bizarre temptation. But how much of this was due to her bad mood, how much her faith had strengthened her, and when and how she had encountered the poor fool—these questions were never answered, nor were they of much interest to Philip. Discovery was inevitable: they would have been caught by the police of Florence or Milan, or at the border. Instead, they were stopped in a simpler way just a few miles outside the town.
As yet he could scarcely survey the thing. It was too great. Round the Italian baby who had died in the mud there centred deep passions and high hopes. People had been wicked or wrong in the matter; no one save himself had been trivial. Now the baby had gone, but there remained this vast apparatus of pride and pity and love. For the dead, who seemed to take away so much, really take with them nothing that is ours. The passion they have aroused lives after them, easy to transmute or to transfer, but well-nigh impossible to destroy. And Philip knew that he was still voyaging on the same magnificent, perilous sea, with the sun or the clouds above him, and the tides below.
He could barely grasp the situation. It was too overwhelming. Around the Italian baby who had died in the mud, there were deep emotions and high hopes. People had acted badly or made mistakes; no one except him had been trivial. Now that the baby was gone, this enormous mix of pride, pity, and love remained. For the dead, who seem to take so much away, actually take nothing that belongs to us. The feelings they stirred live on after them, easy to change or redirect, but almost impossible to destroy. Philip understood that he was still navigating the same magnificent, dangerous sea, with the sun or clouds above him and the tides below.
The course of the moment—that, at all events, was certain. He and no one else must take the news to Gino. It was easy to talk of Harriet’s crime—easy also to blame the negligent Perfetta or Mrs. Herriton at home. Every one had contributed—even Miss Abbott and Irma. If one chose, one might consider the catastrophe composite or the work of fate. But Philip did not so choose. It was his own fault, due to acknowledged weakness in his own character. Therefore he, and no one else, must take the news of it to Gino.
The situation was clear—there was no doubt about that. He alone had to deliver the news to Gino. It was simple to discuss Harriet’s mistake—just as easy to point fingers at the careless Perfetta or Mrs. Herriton back home. Everyone had played a part—even Miss Abbott and Irma. One could think of the disaster as a joint effort or fate’s doing. But Philip didn’t see it that way. It was his own fault, stemming from the weaknesses in his character. So, he—and no one else—had to break the news to Gino.
Nothing prevented him. Miss Abbott was engaged with Harriet, and people had sprung out of the darkness and were conducting them towards some cottage. Philip had only to get into the uninjured carriage and order the driver to return. He was back at Monteriano after a two hours’ absence. Perfetta was in the house now, and greeted him cheerfully. Pain, physical and mental, had made him stupid. It was some time before he realized that she had never missed the child.
Nothing held him back. Miss Abbott was busy with Harriet, and people had emerged from the shadows, guiding them toward a cottage. Philip simply had to get into the undamaged carriage and tell the driver to head back. He returned to Monteriano after being away for two hours. Perfetta was in the house now and greeted him warmly. The pain, both physical and emotional, had left him feeling dazed. It took him a while to understand that she had never noticed the child was gone.
Gino was still out. The woman took him to the reception-room, just as she had taken Miss Abbott in the morning, and dusted a circle for him on one of the horsehair chairs. But it was dark now, so she left the guest a little lamp.
Gino was still out. The woman brought him to the reception room, just like she had done with Miss Abbott in the morning, and cleared a spot for him on one of the horsehair chairs. But it was dark now, so she left a small lamp for the guest.
“I will be as quick as I can,” she told him. “But there are many streets in Monteriano; he is sometimes difficult to find. I could not find him this morning.”
“I’ll be as quick as I can,” she told him. “But there are a lot of streets in Monteriano; he can be hard to find sometimes. I couldn’t find him this morning.”
“Go first to the Caffe Garibaldi,” said Philip, remembering that this was the hour appointed by his friends of yesterday.
“Go first to the Caffe Garibaldi,” said Philip, recalling that this was the time agreed upon by his friends from yesterday.
He occupied the time he was left alone not in thinking—there was nothing to think about; he simply had to tell a few facts—but in trying to make a sling for his broken arm. The trouble was in the elbow-joint, and as long as he kept this motionless he could go on as usual. But inflammation was beginning, and the slightest jar gave him agony. The sling was not fitted before Gino leapt up the stairs, crying—
He spent the time he was alone not thinking—there was nothing to think about; he just needed to state a few facts—but trying to make a sling for his broken arm. The issue was with the elbow joint, and as long as he kept it still, he could continue as usual. But inflammation was setting in, and even the slightest bump caused him pain. He hadn’t finished fitting the sling before Gino jumped up the stairs, shouting—
“So you are back! How glad I am! We are all waiting—”
“So you’re back! I’m so glad! We’re all waiting—”
Philip had seen too much to be nervous. In low, even tones he told what had happened; and the other, also perfectly calm, heard him to the end. In the silence Perfetta called up that she had forgotten the baby’s evening milk; she must fetch it. When she had gone Gino took up the lamp without a word, and they went into the other room.
Philip had seen too much to feel anxious. In quiet, steady tones, he recounted what had happened, and the other person, equally composed, listened until he finished. In the silence, Perfetta remembered that she had forgotten the baby’s evening milk; she needed to get it. Once she left, Gino picked up the lamp without saying anything, and they moved into the other room.
“My sister is ill,” said Philip, “and Miss Abbott is guiltless. I should be glad if you did not have to trouble them.”
“My sister is sick,” Philip said, “and Miss Abbott is innocent. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t have to bother them.”
Gino had stooped down by the way, and was feeling the place where his son had lain. Now and then he frowned a little and glanced at Philip.
Gino had crouched down by the path and was touching the spot where his son had rested. Every so often, he frowned slightly and looked at Philip.
“It is through me,” he continued. “It happened because I was cowardly and idle. I have come to know what you will do.”
“It’s because of me,” he went on. “It happened because I was scared and lazy. I’ve figured out what you’re going to do.”
Gino had left the rug, and began to pat the table from the end, as if he was blind. The action was so uncanny that Philip was driven to intervene.
Gino had left the rug and started to tap the table from the edge, as if he were blind. The action was so strange that Philip felt compelled to step in.
“Gently, man, gently; he is not here.”
“Take it easy, man; he’s not here.”
He went up and touched him on the shoulder.
He walked over and tapped him on the shoulder.
He twitched away, and began to pass his hands over things more rapidly—over the table, the chairs, the entire floor, the walls as high as he could reach them. Philip had not presumed to comfort him. But now the tension was too great—he tried.
He jerked away and started to run his hands over things more quickly—over the table, the chairs, the whole floor, the walls as high as he could reach. Philip hadn’t thought to comfort him. But now the tension was too much—he tried.
“Break down, Gino; you must break down. Scream and curse and give in for a little; you must break down.”
“Break down, Gino; you need to break down. Scream and curse and let it all out for a bit; you have to break down.”
There was no reply, and no cessation of the sweeping hands.
There was no response, and the sweeping hands continued without pause.
“It is time to be unhappy. Break down or you will be ill like my sister. You will go—”
“It’s time to be unhappy. Break down or you’ll end up sick like my sister. You will go—”
The tour of the room was over. He had touched everything in it except Philip. Now he approached him. He face was that of a man who has lost his old reason for life and seeks a new one.
The tour of the room was over. He had touched everything in it except Philip. Now he approached him. His face was that of a man who has lost his old reason for living and is searching for a new one.
“Gino!”
"Gino!"
He stopped for a moment; then he came nearer. Philip stood his ground.
He paused for a moment; then he moved closer. Philip held his ground.
“You are to do what you like with me, Gino. Your son is dead, Gino. He died in my arms, remember. It does not excuse me; but he did die in my arms.”
“You can do whatever you want with me, Gino. Your son is gone, Gino. He died in my arms, remember? It doesn’t make it right; but he did die in my arms.”
The left hand came forward, slowly this time. It hovered before Philip like an insect. Then it descended and gripped him by his broken elbow.
The left hand moved forward, slowly this time. It hovered in front of Philip like an insect. Then it came down and grabbed him by his broken elbow.
Philip struck out with all the strength of his other arm. Gino fell to the blow without a cry or a word.
Philip swung with all the strength he had in his other arm. Gino collapsed from the hit without a sound or a word.
“You brute!” exclaimed the Englishman. “Kill me if you like! But just you leave my broken arm alone.”
“You animal!” shouted the Englishman. “Go ahead and kill me if you want! But just leave my broken arm alone.”
Then he was seized with remorse, and knelt beside his adversary and tried to revive him. He managed to raise him up, and propped his body against his own. He passed his arm round him. Again he was filled with pity and tenderness. He awaited the revival without fear, sure that both of them were safe at last.
Then he was overcome with guilt and knelt beside his opponent, trying to bring him back to consciousness. He managed to lift him up and leaned his body against his own. He wrapped his arm around him. Once more, he was filled with compassion and warmth. He waited for him to wake up without worry, confident that they were both finally safe.
Gino recovered suddenly. His lips moved. For one blessed moment it seemed that he was going to speak. But he scrambled up in silence, remembering everything, and he made not towards Philip, but towards the lamp.
Gino suddenly came to. His lips moved. For one brief moment, it looked like he was about to say something. But he got up in silence, recalling everything, and he moved not towards Philip, but towards the lamp.
“Do what you like; but think first—”
“Do what you want; but think first—”
The lamp was tossed across the room, out through the loggia. It broke against one of the trees below. Philip began to cry out in the dark.
The lamp was thrown across the room and out through the loggia. It shattered against one of the trees below. Philip started to shout in the dark.
Gino approached from behind and gave him a sharp pinch. Philip spun round with a yell. He had only been pinched on the back, but he knew what was in store for him. He struck out, exhorting the devil to fight him, to kill him, to do anything but this. Then he stumbled to the door. It was open. He lost his head, and, instead of turning down the stairs, he ran across the landing into the room opposite. There he lay down on the floor between the stove and the skirting-board.
Gino came up from behind and gave him a hard pinch. Philip spun around with a shout. He had only been pinched on the back, but he knew what was coming. He lashed out, daring the devil to fight him, to kill him, to do anything but this. Then he stumbled to the door. It was open. He lost his cool, and instead of going down the stairs, he ran across the landing into the room across the hall. There he lay down on the floor between the stove and the baseboard.
His senses grew sharper. He could hear Gino coming in on tiptoe. He even knew what was passing in his mind, how now he was at fault, now he was hopeful, now he was wondering whether after all the victim had not escaped down the stairs. There was a quick swoop above him, and then a low growl like a dog’s. Gino had broken his finger-nails against the stove.
His senses became more acute. He could hear Gino sneaking in on tiptoe. He even understood what was going through Gino's mind, how he felt guilty at one moment, hopeful the next, and then questioning whether the victim had actually managed to escape down the stairs. There was a sudden rush above him, followed by a low growl like a dog's. Gino had scraped his fingernails against the stove.
Physical pain is almost too terrible to bear. We can just bear it when it comes by accident or for our good—as it generally does in modern life—except at school. But when it is caused by the malignity of a man, full grown, fashioned like ourselves, all our control disappears. Philip’s one thought was to get away from that room at whatever sacrifice of nobility or pride.
Physical pain is almost unbearable. We can manage it when it happens by accident or for our benefit—as it usually does in modern life—except at school. But when it comes from the malice of a man, who is fully grown and shaped like us, all our control vanishes. Philip’s only thought was to escape that room at any cost to his dignity or pride.
Gino was now at the further end of the room, groping by the little tables. Suddenly the instinct came to him. He crawled quickly to where Philip lay and had him clean by the elbow.
Gino was now at the far end of the room, feeling around the small tables. Suddenly, he had a strong intuition. He quickly crawled over to where Philip was lying and grabbed him by the elbow.
The whole arm seemed red-hot, and the broken bone grated in the joint, sending out shoots of the essence of pain. His other arm was pinioned against the wall, and Gino had trampled in behind the stove and was kneeling on his legs. For the space of a minute he yelled and yelled with all the force of his lungs. Then this solace was denied him. The other hand, moist and strong, began to close round his throat.
The entire arm felt like it was on fire, and the broken bone ground against the joint, sending waves of pain shooting through him. His other arm was pinned against the wall, and Gino had crawled in behind the stove and was kneeling on his legs. For a minute, he screamed with all his might. Then that relief was taken away. The other hand, wet and strong, started to wrap around his throat.
At first he was glad, for here, he thought, was death at last. But it was only a new torture; perhaps Gino inherited the skill of his ancestors—and childlike ruffians who flung each other from the towers. Just as the windpipe closed, the hand fell off, and Philip was revived by the motion of his arm. And just as he was about to faint and gain at last one moment of oblivion, the motion stopped, and he would struggle instead against the pressure on his throat.
At first he felt relief, thinking he was finally facing death. But it turned out to be just another form of torture; maybe Gino had inherited the talent of his ancestors—and those reckless kids who tossed each other from the towers. Just when his airway was about to close, the grip loosened, and Philip was brought back to life by the movement of his arm. Just as he was about to lose consciousness and finally experience a moment of escape, the motion ceased, and he found himself fighting against the pressure on his throat.
Vivid pictures were dancing through the pain—Lilia dying some months back in this very house, Miss Abbott bending over the baby, his mother at home, now reading evening prayers to the servants. He felt that he was growing weaker; his brain wandered; the agony did not seem so great. Not all Gino’s care could indefinitely postpone the end. His yells and gurgles became mechanical—functions of the tortured flesh rather than true notes of indignation and despair. He was conscious of a horrid tumbling. Then his arm was pulled a little too roughly, and everything was quiet at last.
Vivid images were flashing through the pain—Lilia dying a few months ago in this very house, Miss Abbott leaning over the baby, his mother at home now reading evening prayers to the servants. He felt himself getting weaker; his mind was drifting; the agony didn’t seem as intense. Not even Gino’s care could delay the end indefinitely. His cries and whimpers became mechanical—responses of the tortured body rather than genuine expressions of anger and despair. He felt a horrible spinning sensation. Then his arm was yanked a little too hard, and everything went quiet at last.
“But your son is dead, Gino. Your son is dead, dear Gino. Your son is dead.”
“But your son is dead, Gino. Your son is dead, dear Gino. Your son is dead.”
The room was full of light, and Miss Abbott had Gino by the shoulders, holding him down in a chair. She was exhausted with the struggle, and her arms were trembling.
The room was filled with light, and Miss Abbott had Gino by the shoulders, keeping him in a chair. She was worn out from the fight, and her arms were shaking.
“What is the good of another death? What is the good of more pain?”
“What’s the point of another death? What’s the point of more pain?”
He too began to tremble. Then he turned and looked curiously at Philip, whose face, covered with dust and foam, was visible by the stove. Miss Abbott allowed him to get up, though she still held him firmly. He gave a loud and curious cry—a cry of interrogation it might be called. Below there was the noise of Perfetta returning with the baby’s milk.
He also started to shake. Then he turned and looked at Philip with curiosity, whose face, covered in dust and foam, was visible by the stove. Miss Abbott let him sit up, but she still held him tightly. He let out a loud and curious cry—kind of like a question. Below, there was the sound of Perfetta coming back with the baby's milk.
“Go to him,” said Miss Abbott, indicating Philip. “Pick him up. Treat him kindly.”
“Go to him,” said Miss Abbott, pointing to Philip. “Help him out. Be nice to him.”
She released him, and he approached Philip slowly. His eyes were filling with trouble. He bent down, as if he would gently raise him up.
She let him go, and he walked over to Philip slowly. His eyes were filled with concern. He bent down, as if he wanted to gently lift him up.
“Help! help!” moaned Philip. His body had suffered too much from Gino. It could not bear to be touched by him.
“Help! help!” moaned Philip. His body had endured too much from Gino. It couldn't stand to be touched by him.
Gino seemed to understand. He stopped, crouched above him. Miss Abbott herself came forward and lifted her friend in her arms.
Gino seemed to get it. He paused, crouched down beside him. Miss Abbott herself stepped forward and picked her friend up into her arms.
“Oh, the foul devil!” he murmured. “Kill him! Kill him for me.”
“Oh, that wicked devil!” he whispered. “Get rid of him! Take him out for me.”
Miss Abbott laid him tenderly on the couch and wiped his face. Then she said gravely to them both, “This thing stops here.”
Miss Abbott gently placed him on the couch and wiped his face. Then she said seriously to both of them, “This ends now.”
“Latte! latte!” cried Perfetta, hilariously ascending the stairs.
“Latte! latte!” shouted Perfetta, joyfully climbing up the stairs.
“Remember,” she continued, “there is to be no revenge. I will have no more intentional evil. We are not to fight with each other any more.”
“Remember,” she said, “no revenge. I won’t allow any more intentional harm. We’re not going to fight with each other anymore.”
“I shall never forgive him,” sighed Philip.
“I will never forgive him,” sighed Philip.
“Latte! latte freschissima! bianca come neve!” Perfetta came in with another lamp and a little jug.
“Latte! Super fresh milk! White as snow!” Perfetta came in with another lamp and a small jug.
Gino spoke for the first time. “Put the milk on the table,” he said. “It will not be wanted in the other room.” The peril was over at last. A great sob shook the whole body, another followed, and then he gave a piercing cry of woe, and stumbled towards Miss Abbott like a child and clung to her.
Gino spoke for the first time. “Put the milk on the table,” he said. “It won't be needed in the other room.” The danger was finally over. A huge sob shook his entire body, another followed, and then he let out a heart-wrenching cry of despair and stumbled towards Miss Abbott like a child, clinging to her.
All through the day Miss Abbott had seemed to Philip like a goddess, and more than ever did she seem so now. Many people look younger and more intimate during great emotion. But some there are who look older, and remote, and he could not think that there was little difference in years, and none in composition, between her and the man whose head was laid upon her breast. Her eyes were open, full of infinite pity and full of majesty, as if they discerned the boundaries of sorrow, and saw unimaginable tracts beyond. Such eyes he had seen in great pictures but never in a mortal. Her hands were folded round the sufferer, stroking him lightly, for even a goddess can do no more than that. And it seemed fitting, too, that she should bend her head and touch his forehead with her lips.
All day long, Miss Abbott had seemed to Philip like a goddess, and now she seemed even more so. Many people appear younger and more approachable during intense emotions. But some seem older and distant, and he couldn't help but notice that there was not much difference in age, and none in their essence, between her and the man whose head rested on her chest. Her eyes were wide open, filled with endless compassion and a sense of majesty, as if she could grasp the depths of sorrow and see unimaginable landscapes beyond. He had seen such eyes in great paintings but had never encountered them in a real person. Her hands were wrapped around the sufferer, gently stroking him, for even a goddess can do no more than that. It also felt right that she should lean down and kiss his forehead.
Philip looked away, as he sometimes looked away from the great pictures where visible forms suddenly become inadequate for the things they have shown to us. He was happy; he was assured that there was greatness in the world. There came to him an earnest desire to be good through the example of this good woman. He would try henceforward to be worthy of the things she had revealed. Quietly, without hysterical prayers or banging of drums, he underwent conversion. He was saved.
Philip looked away, just like he sometimes did from the amazing paintings where the visible forms suddenly fall short of what they truly represent. He felt happy; he was confident that greatness existed in the world. He felt a deep desire to be a better person by following the example of this remarkable woman. From that point on, he would strive to be worthy of the things she had shown him. Quietly, without dramatic prayers or loud gestures, he experienced a transformation. He was saved.
“That milk,” said she, “need not be wasted. Take it, Signor Carella, and persuade Mr. Herriton to drink.”
“Don’t waste that milk,” she said. “Take it, Signor Carella, and convince Mr. Herriton to drink it.”
Gino obeyed her, and carried the child’s milk to Philip. And Philip obeyed also and drank.
Gino did what she asked and took the child's milk to Philip. Philip did as well and drank it.
“Is there any left?”
"Is there any available?"
“A little,” answered Gino.
“Just a bit,” answered Gino.
“Then finish it.” For she was determined to use such remnants as lie about the world.
“Then finish it.” She was determined to use whatever scraps were lying around the world.
“Will you not have some?”
"Won't you have some?"
“I do not care for milk; finish it all.”
“I don't like milk; drink it all.”
“Philip, have you had enough milk?”
“Philip, have you had enough milk?”
“Yes, thank you, Gino; finish it all.”
“Yes, thank you, Gino; eat it all.”
He drank the milk, and then, either by accident or in some spasm of pain, broke the jug to pieces. Perfetta exclaimed in bewilderment. “It does not matter,” he told her. “It does not matter. It will never be wanted any more.”
He drank the milk, and then, either accidentally or in a sudden rush of pain, broke the jug into pieces. Perfetta exclaimed in confusion. “It’s okay,” he told her. “It’s okay. It will never be needed again.”
Chapter 10
“He will have to marry her,” said Philip. “I heard from him this morning, just as we left Milan. He finds he has gone too far to back out. It would be expensive. I don’t know how much he minds—not as much as we suppose, I think. At all events there’s not a word of blame in the letter. I don’t believe he even feels angry. I never was so completely forgiven. Ever since you stopped him killing me, it has been a vision of perfect friendship. He nursed me, he lied for me at the inquest, and at the funeral, though he was crying, you would have thought it was my son who had died. Certainly I was the only person he had to be kind to; he was so distressed not to make Harriet’s acquaintance, and that he scarcely saw anything of you. In his letter he says so again.”
“He will have to marry her,” Philip said. “I heard from him this morning, right as we left Milan. He realizes he’s gone too far to back out now. It would be costly. I’m not sure how much it bothers him—not as much as we think, I believe. In any case, there’s not a hint of blame in the letter. I don’t even think he feels angry. I’ve never felt so completely forgiven. Ever since you stopped him from killing me, it has become a vision of perfect friendship. He took care of me, he lied for me at the inquest, and at the funeral, even though he was crying, you would have thought it was my son who had died. Clearly, I was the only one he had to be kind to; he was so upset about not meeting Harriet that he hardly saw anything of you. He mentions that again in his letter.”
“Thank him, please, when you write,” said Miss Abbott, “and give him my kindest regards.”
“Please thank him when you write,” said Miss Abbott, “and send him my best regards.”
“Indeed I will.” He was surprised that she could slide away from the man so easily. For his own part, he was bound by ties of almost alarming intimacy. Gino had the southern knack of friendship. In the intervals of business he would pull out Philip’s life, turn it inside out, remodel it, and advise him how to use it for the best. The sensation was pleasant, for he was a kind as well as a skilful operator. But Philip came away feeling that he had not a secret corner left. In that very letter Gino had again implored him, as a refuge from domestic difficulties, “to marry Miss Abbott, even if her dowry is small.” And how Miss Abbott herself, after such tragic intercourse, could resume the conventions and send calm messages of esteem, was more than he could understand.
“Of course I will.” He was surprised at how easily she could slip away from the man. As for him, he felt almost alarmingly close to Gino. Gino had that Southern charm when it came to friendship. During breaks from work, he would dive into Philip’s life, turn it upside down, reshape it, and suggest how he could make the most of it. It felt nice because Gino was both kind and skilled at it. But Philip left feeling like he didn’t have a single secret left. In that very letter, Gino had urged him once more, as a way to escape his home troubles, “to marry Miss Abbott, even if her dowry is small.” And how Miss Abbott herself could go back to being formal and send calm messages of appreciation after such a dramatic interaction was beyond his understanding.
“When will you see him again?” she asked. They were standing together in the corridor of the train, slowly ascending out of Italy towards the San Gothard tunnel.
“When will you see him again?” she asked. They were standing together in the train corridor, slowly rising out of Italy toward the San Gothard tunnel.
“I hope next spring. Perhaps we shall paint Siena red for a day or two with some of the new wife’s money. It was one of the arguments for marrying her.”
“I hope next spring. Maybe we’ll paint Siena red for a day or two with some of the new wife’s money. That was one of the reasons for marrying her.”
“He has no heart,” she said severely. “He does not really mind about the child at all.”
“He has no feelings,” she said harshly. “He doesn’t actually care about the child at all.”
“No; you’re wrong. He does. He is unhappy, like the rest of us. But he doesn’t try to keep up appearances as we do. He knows that the things that have made him happy once will probably make him happy again—”
“No; you’re wrong. He does. He’s unhappy, just like the rest of us. But he doesn’t bother keeping up appearances like we do. He knows that the things that once made him happy will probably make him happy again—”
“He said he would never be happy again.”
“He said he would never be happy again.”
“In his passion. Not when he was calm. We English say it when we are calm—when we do not really believe it any longer. Gino is not ashamed of inconsistency. It is one of the many things I like him for.”
“In his passion. Not when he was calm. We English say it when we are calm—when we don’t really believe it anymore. Gino isn’t ashamed of inconsistency. It’s one of the many things I like about him.”
“Yes; I was wrong. That is so.”
“Yes, I was wrong. That’s true.”
“He’s much more honest with himself than I am,” continued Philip, “and he is honest without an effort and without pride. But you, Miss Abbott, what about you? Will you be in Italy next spring?”
“He's way more honest with himself than I am,” Philip continued, “and he’s honest effortlessly and without pride. But you, Miss Abbott, what about you? Will you be in Italy next spring?”
“No.”
“No.”
“I’m sorry. When will you come back, do you think?”
“I’m sorry. When do you think you'll come back?”
“I think never.”
"I never think."
“For whatever reason?” He stared at her as if she were some monstrosity.
“For whatever reason?” He looked at her like she was some kind of freak.
“Because I understand the place. There is no need.”
“Because I get it. There’s no need.”
“Understand Italy!” he exclaimed.
"Get Italy!" he exclaimed.
“Perfectly.”
"Perfect."
“Well, I don’t. And I don’t understand you,” he murmured to himself, as he paced away from her up the corridor. By this time he loved her very much, and he could not bear to be puzzled. He had reached love by the spiritual path: her thoughts and her goodness and her nobility had moved him first, and now her whole body and all its gestures had become transfigured by them. The beauties that are called obvious—the beauties of her hair and her voice and her limbs—he had noticed these last; Gino, who never traversed any path at all, had commended them dispassionately to his friend.
“Well, I don’t. And I don’t get you,” he muttered to himself as he walked away from her down the hallway. By this point, he loved her deeply, and he couldn’t stand being confused. He had arrived at love through a spiritual journey: her thoughts, her goodness, and her nobility had touched him first, and now her entire body and all its movements had been transformed by them. The obvious beauties—her hair, her voice, and her figure—he had noticed these last; Gino, who never really followed any path, had coldly pointed them out to his friend.
Why was he so puzzling? He had known so much about her once—what she thought, how she felt, the reasons for her actions. And now he only knew that he loved her, and all the other knowledge seemed passing from him just as he needed it most. Why would she never come to Italy again? Why had she avoided himself and Gino ever since the evening that she had saved their lives? The train was nearly empty. Harriet slumbered in a compartment by herself. He must ask her these questions now, and he returned quickly to her down the corridor.
Why was he so confusing? He used to know so much about her—what she thought, how she felt, the reasons behind her actions. Now, all he knew was that he loved her, and all that other knowledge seemed to slip away just when he needed it the most. Why wouldn't she ever come back to Italy? Why had she been avoiding him and Gino ever since the night she saved their lives? The train was almost empty. Harriet was dozing in a compartment by herself. He had to ask her these questions now, so he quickly made his way back to her down the corridor.
She greeted him with a question of her own. “Are your plans decided?”
She greeted him with a question of her own. “Have you made your plans?”
“Yes. I can’t live at Sawston.”
“Yes. I can’t live in Sawston.”
“Have you told Mrs. Herriton?”
“Have you told Mrs. Herriton?”
“I wrote from Monteriano. I tried to explain things; but she will never understand me. Her view will be that the affair is settled—sadly settled since the baby is dead. Still it’s over; our family circle need be vexed no more. She won’t even be angry with you. You see, you have done us no harm in the long run. Unless, of course, you talk about Harriet and make a scandal. So that is my plan—London and work. What is yours?”
“I wrote from Monteriano. I tried to explain things, but she will never understand me. She will see that the situation is settled—sadly settled since the baby is dead. Still, it’s over; our family circle doesn’t have to be troubled anymore. She won’t even be angry with you. You see, you haven’t done us any harm in the long run. Unless, of course, you bring up Harriet and cause a scandal. So that’s my plan—London and work. What’s yours?”
“Poor Harriet!” said Miss Abbott. “As if I dare judge Harriet! Or anybody.” And without replying to Philip’s question she left him to visit the other invalid.
“Poor Harriet!” Miss Abbott said. “As if I would dare to judge Harriet! Or anyone.” Without answering Philip’s question, she left him to visit the other patient.
Philip gazed after her mournfully, and then he looked mournfully out of the window at the decreasing streams. All the excitement was over—the inquest, Harriet’s short illness, his own visit to the surgeon. He was convalescent, both in body and spirit, but convalescence brought no joy. In the looking-glass at the end of the corridor he saw his face haggard, and his shoulders pulled forward by the weight of the sling. Life was greater than he had supposed, but it was even less complete. He had seen the need for strenuous work and for righteousness. And now he saw what a very little way those things would go.
Philip watched her leave with a heavy heart, then turned to gaze out the window at the diminishing stream. All the excitement was gone—the inquest, Harriet’s brief illness, his own trip to the surgeon. He was recovering, both physically and mentally, but recovery brought no happiness. In the mirror at the end of the hallway, he saw his worn face, his shoulders hunched under the weight of the sling. Life was bigger than he had thought, but it felt even more incomplete. He had realized the importance of hard work and doing what’s right. And now he understood just how little those ideals would accomplish.
“Is Harriet going to be all right?” he asked. Miss Abbott had come back to him.
“Is Harriet going to be okay?” he asked. Miss Abbott had returned to him.
“She will soon be her old self,” was the reply. For Harriet, after a short paroxysm of illness and remorse, was quickly returning to her normal state. She had been “thoroughly upset” as she phrased it, but she soon ceased to realize that anything was wrong beyond the death of a poor little child. Already she spoke of “this unlucky accident,” and “the mysterious frustration of one’s attempts to make things better.” Miss Abbott had seen that she was comfortable, and had given her a kind kiss. But she returned feeling that Harriet, like her mother, considered the affair as settled.
“She’ll be back to her old self soon,” was the response. For Harriet, after a brief bout of illness and guilt, was quickly getting back to her usual state. She had been “thoroughly upset,” as she put it, but soon stopped realizing that anything was wrong aside from the death of a poor little child. She was already referring to “this unfortunate accident” and “the mysterious frustration of trying to make things better.” Miss Abbott had made sure she was comfortable and had given her a kind kiss. But she returned feeling that Harriet, like her mother, viewed the situation as resolved.
“I’m clear enough about Harriet’s future, and about parts of my own. But I ask again, What about yours?”
“I’m pretty clear about Harriet’s future and some aspects of my own. But I ask again, what about yours?”
“Sawston and work,” said Miss Abbott.
“Sawston and work,” said Miss Abbott.
“No.”
“Nope.”
“Why not?” she asked, smiling.
“Why not?” she said, smiling.
“You’ve seen too much. You’ve seen as much and done more than I have.”
“You’ve seen too much. You’ve seen as much and done even more than I have.”
“But it’s so different. Of course I shall go to Sawston. You forget my father; and even if he wasn’t there, I’ve a hundred ties: my district—I’m neglecting it shamefully—my evening classes, the St. James’—”
“But it’s so different. Of course I’ll go to Sawston. You’re forgetting my father; and even if he wasn’t there, I have a hundred connections: my district—I’m neglecting it horribly—my evening classes, the St. James’—”
“Silly nonsense!” he exploded, suddenly moved to have the whole thing out with her. “You’re too good—about a thousand times better than I am. You can’t live in that hole; you must go among people who can hope to understand you. I mind for myself. I want to see you often—again and again.”
“Silly nonsense!” he shouted, suddenly feeling the urge to confront her. “You’re too amazing—way better than I am. You can’t stay in that place; you need to be around people who might actually understand you. I care about myself. I want to see you often—over and over again.”
“Of course we shall meet whenever you come down; and I hope that it will mean often.”
“Of course we'll meet whenever you come down, and I hope it happens frequently.”
“It’s not enough; it’ll only be in the old horrible way, each with a dozen relatives round us. No, Miss Abbott; it’s not good enough.”
“It’s not enough; it’ll just be the same old awful way, each with a dozen relatives around us. No, Miss Abbott; it’s not good enough.”
“We can write at all events.”
“We can write in any case.”
“You will write?” he cried, with a flush of pleasure. At times his hopes seemed so solid.
“You're going to write?” he exclaimed, his face lighting up with joy. At times, his hopes felt so real.
“I will indeed.”
"I will definitely."
“But I say it’s not enough—you can’t go back to the old life if you wanted to. Too much has happened.”
“But I say it’s not enough—you can’t go back to the old life even if you wanted to. Too much has happened.”
“I know that,” she said sadly.
“I know that,” she said with a sigh.
“Not only pain and sorrow, but wonderful things: that tower in the sunlight—do you remember it, and all you said to me? The theatre, even. And the next day—in the church; and our times with Gino.”
“Not just pain and sadness, but great memories too: that tower in the sunlight—do you remember it, and everything you told me? The theater, even. And the next day—in the church; and our moments with Gino.”
“All the wonderful things are over,” she said. “That is just where it is.”
“All the amazing things are gone,” she said. “That's exactly how it is.”
“I don’t believe it. At all events not for me. The most wonderful things may be to come—”
"I can't believe it. Anyway, not for me. The most amazing things might still be ahead—"
“The wonderful things are over,” she repeated, and looked at him so mournfully that he dare not contradict her. The train was crawling up the last ascent towards the Campanile of Airolo and the entrance of the tunnel.
“The wonderful things are over,” she repeated, looking at him so sadly that he didn’t dare to argue with her. The train was slowly making its way up the final slope toward the Campanile of Airolo and the entrance of the tunnel.
“Miss Abbott,” he murmured, speaking quickly, as if their free intercourse might soon be ended, “what is the matter with you? I thought I understood you, and I don’t. All those two great first days at Monteriano I read you as clearly as you read me still. I saw why you had come, and why you changed sides, and afterwards I saw your wonderful courage and pity. And now you’re frank with me one moment, as you used to be, and the next moment you shut me up. You see I owe too much to you—my life, and I don’t know what besides. I won’t stand it. You’ve gone too far to turn mysterious. I’ll quote what you said to me: ‘Don’t be mysterious; there isn’t the time.’ I’ll quote something else: ‘I and my life must be where I live.’ You can’t live at Sawston.”
“Miss Abbott,” he whispered, speaking quickly, as if their open communication might soon come to an end, “what’s wrong with you? I thought I understood you, but I don’t. During those first two amazing days at Monteriano, I read you as clearly as you still read me. I saw why you came, and why you switched sides, and later, I recognized your incredible courage and compassion. And now, one moment you’re open with me like before, and the next moment you shut me out. You see, I owe you too much—my life, and who knows what else. I can’t accept this. You’ve gone too far to start being mysterious. I'll remind you what you said to me: ‘Don’t be mysterious; there isn’t time.’ I’ll remind you of something else: ‘I and my life must be where I live.’ You can’t live in Sawston.”
He had moved her at last. She whispered to herself hurriedly. “It is tempting—” And those three words threw him into a tumult of joy. What was tempting to her? After all was the greatest of things possible? Perhaps, after long estrangement, after much tragedy, the South had brought them together in the end. That laughter in the theatre, those silver stars in the purple sky, even the violets of a departed spring, all had helped, and sorrow had helped also, and so had tenderness to others.
He had finally moved her. She whispered to herself quickly, “It’s tempting—” And those three words sent him into a whirlwind of joy. What was tempting for her? After all, was the greatest of all things possible? Maybe, after a long separation and a lot of tragedy, the South had brought them together in the end. That laughter in the theater, those silver stars in the purple sky, even the violets from a past spring, all contributed, and so did sorrow and tenderness towards others.
“It is tempting,” she repeated, “not to be mysterious. I’ve wanted often to tell you, and then been afraid. I could never tell any one else, certainly no woman, and I think you’re the one man who might understand and not be disgusted.”
“It’s tempting,” she repeated, “not to be mysterious. I’ve often wanted to tell you, but then I got scared. I could never tell anyone else, definitely not another woman, and I think you’re the one man who might understand and not be disgusted.”
“Are you lonely?” he whispered. “Is it anything like that?”
“Are you lonely?” he whispered. “Is it anything like that?”
“Yes.” The train seemed to shake him towards her. He was resolved that though a dozen people were looking, he would yet take her in his arms. “I’m terribly lonely, or I wouldn’t speak. I think you must know already.” Their faces were crimson, as if the same thought was surging through them both.
“Yes.” The train seemed to push him closer to her. He was determined that even though a dozen people were watching, he would still take her in his arms. “I’m really lonely, or I wouldn’t say anything. I think you must already know.” Their faces were flushed, as if they were both experiencing the same thought.
“Perhaps I do.” He came close to her. “Perhaps I could speak instead. But if you will say the word plainly you’ll never be sorry; I will thank you for it all my life.”
“Maybe I do.” He stepped closer to her. “Maybe I could speak instead. But if you say it clearly, you’ll never regret it; I’ll be grateful to you for it my whole life.”
She said plainly, “That I love him.” Then she broke down. Her body was shaken with sobs, and lest there should be any doubt she cried between the sobs for Gino! Gino! Gino!
She said flatly, “That I love him.” Then she fell apart. Her body shook with sobs, and just to be clear, she cried out between the sobs for Gino! Gino! Gino!
He heard himself remark “Rather! I love him too! When I can forget how he hurt me that evening. Though whenever we shake hands—” One of them must have moved a step or two, for when she spoke again she was already a little way apart.
He heard himself say, “Definitely! I love him too! When I can forget how he hurt me that night. But every time we shake hands—” One of them must have taken a step or two, because when she spoke again, she was already a little farther away.
“You’ve upset me.” She stifled something that was perilously near hysterics. “I thought I was past all this. You’re taking it wrongly. I’m in love with Gino—don’t pass it off—I mean it crudely—you know what I mean. So laugh at me.”
“You’ve upset me.” She swallowed back something close to hysteria. “I thought I was over all this. You’re misunderstanding me. I’m in love with Gino—don’t brush it off—I mean it plainly—you know what I mean. So go ahead and laugh at me.”
“Laugh at love?” asked Philip.
“Laugh at love?” Philip asked.
“Yes. Pull it to pieces. Tell me I’m a fool or worse—that he’s a cad. Say all you said when Lilia fell in love with him. That’s the help I want. I dare tell you this because I like you—and because you’re without passion; you look on life as a spectacle; you don’t enter it; you only find it funny or beautiful. So I can trust you to cure me. Mr. Herriton, isn’t it funny?” She tried to laugh herself, but became frightened and had to stop. “He’s not a gentleman, nor a Christian, nor good in any way. He’s never flattered me nor honoured me. But because he’s handsome, that’s been enough. The son of an Italian dentist, with a pretty face.” She repeated the phrase as if it was a charm against passion. “Oh, Mr. Herriton, isn’t it funny!” Then, to his relief, she began to cry. “I love him, and I’m not ashamed of it. I love him, and I’m going to Sawston, and if I mayn’t speak about him to you sometimes, I shall die.”
“Yes. Break it down. Tell me I’m an idiot or worse—that he’s a jerk. Say all the things you said when Lilia fell for him. That’s the kind of support I need. I’m telling you this because I like you—and because you’re impartial; you see life as a show; you don’t get involved; you just find it amusing or beautiful. So I can trust you to help me. Mr. Herriton, isn’t it funny?” She tried to laugh but got scared and had to stop. “He’s not a gentleman, nor a Christian, nor good in any way. He’s never complimented me or respected me. But because he’s attractive, that’s been enough. The son of an Italian dentist, with a nice face.” She repeated the phrase as if it was a spell against passion. “Oh, Mr. Herriton, isn’t it funny!” Then, to his relief, she started to cry. “I love him, and I’m not embarrassed about it. I love him, and I’m going to Sawston, and if I can’t talk about him to you sometimes, I’ll die.”
In that terrible discovery Philip managed to think not of himself but of her. He did not lament. He did not even speak to her kindly, for he saw that she could not stand it. A flippant reply was what she asked and needed—something flippant and a little cynical. And indeed it was the only reply he could trust himself to make.
In that awful moment, Philip focused not on his own feelings but on hers. He didn’t mourn. He didn’t even speak to her gently, realizing she couldn’t handle it. What she wanted and needed was a lighthearted response—something playful and a bit sarcastic. And honestly, that was the only type of response he felt he could give.
“Perhaps it is what the books call ‘a passing fancy’?”
“Maybe it’s what the books refer to as ‘a passing fancy’?”
She shook her head. Even this question was too pathetic. For as far as she knew anything about herself, she knew that her passions, once aroused, were sure. “If I saw him often,” she said, “I might remember what he is like. Or he might grow old. But I dare not risk it, so nothing can alter me now.”
She shook her head. Even this question was too sad. As far as she knew about herself, she was certain her passions, once stirred, were unwavering. “If I saw him more often,” she said, “I might remember what he's like. Or he might get old. But I can't take that chance, so nothing can change me now.”
“Well, if the fancy does pass, let me know.” After all, he could say what he wanted.
“Well, if you feel like it, just let me know.” After all, he could say whatever he wanted.
“Oh, you shall know quick enough—”
“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough—”
“But before you retire to Sawston—are you so mighty sure?”
“But before you head to Sawston—are you really that sure?”
“What of?” She had stopped crying. He was treating her exactly as she had hoped.
“What is it?” She had stopped crying. He was treating her just as she had hoped.
“That you and he—” He smiled bitterly at the thought of them together. Here was the cruel antique malice of the gods, such as they once sent forth against Pasiphae. Centuries of aspiration and culture—and the world could not escape it. “I was going to say—whatever have you got in common?”
“About you and him—” He smiled with a bitter thought of them together. This was the cruel, ancient spite of the gods, similar to what they once unleashed against Pasiphae. Centuries of ambition and culture—and the world couldn’t break free from it. “I was going to ask—what on earth do you have in common?”
“Nothing except the times we have seen each other.” Again her face was crimson. He turned his own face away.
“Nothing except the times we’ve seen each other.” Again her face was crimson. He looked away.
“Which—which times?”
"Which times?"
“The time I thought you weak and heedless, and went instead of you to get the baby. That began it, as far as I know the beginning. Or it may have begun when you took us to the theatre, and I saw him mixed up with music and light. But didn’t understand till the morning. Then you opened the door—and I knew why I had been so happy. Afterwards, in the church, I prayed for us all; not for anything new, but that we might just be as we were—he with the child he loved, you and I and Harriet safe out of the place—and that I might never see him or speak to him again. I could have pulled through then—the thing was only coming near, like a wreath of smoke; it hadn’t wrapped me round.”
“The time I thought you were weak and careless, and went to get the baby instead of you. That’s where it all started, as far as I can remember. Or maybe it started when you took us to the theater, and I saw him surrounded by music and lights. But I didn’t really understand until the morning. Then you opened the door—and I realized why I had been so happy. Later, in the church, I prayed for all of us; not for anything new, but that we could just stay as we were—him with the child he loved, you, me, and Harriet safely away from that place—and that I would never see him or talk to him again. I could have gotten through it then—the thing was just approaching, like a swirl of smoke; it hadn’t enveloped me yet.”
“But through my fault,” said Philip solemnly, “he is parted from the child he loves. And because my life was in danger you came and saw him and spoke to him again.” For the thing was even greater than she imagined. Nobody but himself would ever see round it now. And to see round it he was standing at an immense distance. He could even be glad that she had once held the beloved in her arms.
“But because of my mistake,” Philip said seriously, “he is separated from the child he cares about. And because my life was at risk, you came and met him and talked to him again.” The situation was even more complex than she realized. No one but he would ever fully understand it now. To grasp it, he was standing far away. He could even feel grateful that she had once held the one he cherished in her arms.
“Don’t talk of ‘faults.’ You’re my friend for ever, Mr. Herriton, I think. Only don’t be charitable and shift or take the blame. Get over supposing I’m refined. That’s what puzzles you. Get over that.”
“Don’t talk about ‘faults.’ You’re my friend for life, Mr. Herriton, I believe. Just don’t be nice and shift or take the blame. Stop assuming I’m refined. That’s what confuses you. Get past that.”
As he spoke she seemed to be transfigured, and to have indeed no part with refinement or unrefinement any longer. Out of this wreck there was revealed to him something indestructible—something which she, who had given it, could never take away.
As he talked, she appeared to be transformed and seemed to have no connection to refinement or lack of refinement anymore. From this chaos, he saw something unbreakable—something that she, having given it, could never take away.
“I say again, don’t be charitable. If he had asked me, I might have given myself body and soul. That would have been the end of my rescue party. But all through he took me for a superior being—a goddess. I who was worshipping every inch of him, and every word he spoke. And that saved me.”
“I'll say it again, don’t be too kind. If he had asked me, I might have given myself completely. That would have ended my chance to escape. But all along, he saw me as someone above him—a goddess. Meanwhile, I was admiring every part of him and every word he said. And that saved me.”
Philip’s eyes were fixed on the Campanile of Airolo. But he saw instead the fair myth of Endymion. This woman was a goddess to the end. For her no love could be degrading: she stood outside all degradation. This episode, which she thought so sordid, and which was so tragic for him, remained supremely beautiful. To such a height was he lifted, that without regret he could now have told her that he was her worshipper too. But what was the use of telling her? For all the wonderful things had happened.
Philip’s eyes were locked on the Campanile of Airolo. But instead, he envisioned the beautiful myth of Endymion. This woman was a goddess through and through. For her, no love could be humiliating: she was beyond any degradation. This moment, which she regarded as so sordid and which was so tragic for him, still felt incredibly beautiful. He was lifted to such a height that he could now, without any regret, tell her that he was her admirer too. But what would be the point of telling her? All the wonderful things had already happened.
“Thank you,” was all that he permitted himself. “Thank you for everything.”
“Thanks,” was all he allowed himself. “Thanks for everything.”
She looked at him with great friendliness, for he had made her life endurable. At that moment the train entered the San Gothard tunnel. They hurried back to the carriage to close the windows lest the smuts should get into Harriet’s eyes.
She looked at him with warmth, since he had made her life bearable. Just then, the train entered the San Gothard tunnel. They rushed back to the carriage to close the windows so the soot wouldn't get into Harriet's eyes.
Download ePUB
If you like this ebook, consider a donation!