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INTERNATIONAL SHORT STORIES
EDITED BY
WILLIAM PATTEN
A NEW COLLECTION OF
FAMOUS EXAMPLES
FROM THE LITERATURES
OF ENGLAND, FRANCE
AND AMERICA
AMERICAN
P F COLLIER & SON
NEW YORK
Copyright, 1910
BY P. F. COLLIER & SON
The use of the copyrighted stories in this collection has
been authorized in each case by their authors
or by their representatives.
AMERICAN STORIES
THE PROPHETIC PICTURES[1]
By NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE
[1] This story was suggested by an anecdote of Stuart, related in Dunlap's "History of the Arts of Design"—a most entertaining book to the general reader, and a deeply interesting one, we should think, to the artist.
[1] This story was inspired by a story about Stuart, found in Dunlap's "History of the Arts of Design"—a really engaging book for the general reader, and we believe, a deeply fascinating one for artists.
"But this painter!" cried Walter Ludlow, with animation. "He not only excels in his peculiar art, but possesses vast acquirements in all other learning and science. He talks Hebrew with Dr. Mather, and gives lectures in anatomy to Dr. Boylston. In a word, he will meet the best instructed man among us, on his own ground. Moreover, he is a polished gentleman—a citizen of the world—yes, a true cosmopolite; for he will speak like a native of each clime and country on the globe, except our own forests, whither he is now going. Nor is all this what I most admire in him."
"But this painter!" Walter Ludlow exclaimed animatedly. "Not only is he exceptional in his unique art, but he also has extensive knowledge in various other fields and sciences. He converses in Hebrew with Dr. Mather and teaches anatomy to Dr. Boylston. In short, he can hold his own with the most educated among us in any discussion. Plus, he is a refined gentleman—a true citizen of the world; he can speak like a native from any place on Earth, except for our own forests, where he is headed now. But honestly, that's not even what I admire most about him."
"Indeed!" said Elinor, who had listened with a woman's interest to the description of such a man. "Yet this is admirable enough."
"Absolutely!" said Elinor, who had listened with a woman's interest to the description of such a man. "Still, this is quite impressive."
"Surely it is," replied her lover, "but far less so than his natural gift of adapting himself to every variety of character, insomuch that all men—and all women too, Elinor—shall find a mirror of themselves in this wonderful painter. But the greatest wonder is yet to be told."
"Of course it is," her lover replied, "but it's much less impressive than his natural ability to adapt to every type of character, to the point that all men—and all women too, Elinor—will see a reflection of themselves in this amazing painter. But the biggest surprise is still to come."
"Nay, if he have more wonderful attributes than these," said Elinor, laughing, "Boston is a perilous abode for the poor gentleman. Are you telling me of a painter, or a wizard?"
"Nah, if he has more amazing qualities than these," said Elinor, laughing, "Boston is a dangerous place for that poor guy. Are you talking about a painter or a wizard?"
"In truth," answered he, "that question might be asked much more seriously than you suppose. They say that he paints not merely a man's features, but his mind and heart. He catches the secret sentiments and passions, and throws them upon the canvas, like sunshine—or perhaps, in the portraits of dark-souled men, like a gleam of infernal fire. It is an awful gift," added Walter, lowering his voice from its tone of enthusiasm. "I shall be almost afraid to sit to him."
"Honestly," he replied, "that question might deserve more thought than you think. People say he doesn’t just capture a person's looks but also their mind and heart. He seizes their hidden feelings and passions and brings them to life on the canvas, like sunlight—or maybe, in portraits of darker souls, like a flash of hellish fire. It’s a terrifying talent," Walter continued, his voice shifting from excitement to a more serious tone. "I might be a little scared to sit for him."
"Walter, are you in earnest?" exclaimed Elinor.
"Walter, are you serious?" exclaimed Elinor.
"For Heaven's sake, dearest Elinor, do not let him paint the look which you now wear," said her lover, smiling, though rather perplexed. "There: it is passing away now, but when you spoke you seemed frightened to death, and very sad besides. What were you thinking of?"
"For heaven's sake, my dearest Elinor, don't let him capture the expression you have now," said her lover, smiling but a bit confused. "There: it's fading now, but when you spoke, you looked terrified and really sad too. What were you thinking about?"
"Nothing, nothing," answered Elinor, hastily. "You paint my face with your own fantasies. Well, come for me to-morrow, and we will visit this wonderful artist."
"Nothing, nothing," Elinor replied quickly. "You're projecting your own fantasies onto me. Anyway, come see me tomorrow, and we'll visit this amazing artist."
But when the young man had departed, it cannot be denied that a remarkable expression was again visible on the fair and youthful face of his mistress. It was a sad and anxious look, little in accordance with what should have been the feelings of a maiden on the eve of wedlock. Yet Walter Ludlow was the chosen of her heart.
But when the young man left, it’s undeniable that a striking expression returned to the beautiful and youthful face of his mistress. It was a sad and anxious look, not at all in line with what a bride-to-be should be feeling. Yet Walter Ludlow was the one she loved.
"A look!" said Elinor to herself. "No wonder that it startled him, if it expressed what I sometimes feel. I know, by my own experience, how frightful a look may be. But it was all fancy. I thought nothing of it at the time—I have seen nothing of it since—I did but dream it."
"A look!" Elinor said to herself. "It's no surprise it startled him if it showed what I sometimes feel. I know from my own experience how terrifying a look can be. But it was all in my head. I thought nothing of it at the time—I've seen nothing of it since—I must have just dreamed it."
And she busied herself about the embroidery of a ruff, in which she meant that her portrait should be taken.
And she focused on embroidering a ruff, which she planned to wear for her portrait.
The painter of whom they had been speaking was not one of those native artists who, at a later period than this, borrowed their colors from the Indians, and manufactured their pencils of the furs of wild beasts. Perhaps, if he could have revoked his life and prearranged his destiny, he might have chosen to belong to that school without a master, in the hope of being at least original, since there were no works of art to imitate, nor rules to follow. But he had been born and educated in Europe. People said that he had studied the grandeur or beauty of conception, and every touch of the master-hand, in all the most famous pictures, in cabinets and galleries, and on the walls of churches, till there was nothing more for his powerful mind to learn. Art could add nothing to its lessons, but Nature might. He had therefore visited a world whither none of his professional brethren had preceded him, to feast his eyes on visible images that were noble and picturesque, yet had never been transferred to canvas. America was too poor to afford other temptations to an artist of eminence, though many of the colonial gentry, on the painter's arrival, had expressed a wish to transmit their lineaments to posterity by means of his skill. Whenever such proposals were made, he fixed his piercing eyes on the applicant, and seemed to look him through and through. If he beheld only a sleek and comfortable visage, though there were a gold-laced coat to adorn the picture, and golden guineas to pay for it, he civilly rejected the task and the reward. But if the face were the index of anything uncommon, in thought, sentiment, or experience; or if he met a beggar in the street, with a white beard and a furrowed brow; or if sometimes a child happened to look up and smile; he would exhaust all the art on them that he denied to wealth.
The painter they were talking about wasn’t one of those local artists who later on used colors inspired by the Indians and made their brushes from the furs of wild animals. Maybe if he could rewind his life and plan his future, he would have chosen to be part of that untrained school, hoping to be at least unique, since there were no existing artworks to copy or guidelines to follow. But he had been born and raised in Europe. People said he had studied the greatness or beauty of ideas, and every skillful touch of the master, in all the most renowned paintings, in collections and galleries, and on church walls, until there was nothing left for his brilliant mind to learn. Art couldn’t teach him anything more, but Nature could. So, he traveled to a world where none of his fellow artists had gone before, to see images that were grand and picturesque, yet had never been put on canvas. America was too poor to provide other attractions for a talented artist, although many from the colonial upper class, when the painter arrived, had expressed a desire to capture their likenesses for future generations using his talent. Whenever such requests were made, he would look intently at the person asking, as if seeing right through them. If he only saw a neat and comfortable face, even if the person wore a fancy coat and had gold coins to pay him, he would politely decline both the job and the payment. But if the face showed something special—whether in thought, feeling, or experience; or if he encountered a beggar in the street, with a white beard and a lined forehead; or if a child happened to glance up and smile—he would pour all his artistic skill into them that he refused to wealth.
Pictorial skill being so rare in the colonies, the painter became an object of general curiosity. If few or none could appreciate the technical merit of his productions, yet there were points in regard to which the opinion of the crowd was as valuable as the refined judgment of the amateur. He watched the effect that each picture produced on such untutored beholders, and derived profit from their remarks, while they would as soon have thought of instructing Nature herself as him who seemed to rival her. Their admiration, it must be owned, was tinctured with the prejudices of the age and country. Some deemed it an offence against the Mosaic law, and even a presumptuous mockery of the Creator, to bring into existence such lively images of His creatures. Others, frightened at the art which could raise phantoms at will, and keep the form of the dead among the living, were inclined to consider the painter as a magician, or perhaps the famous Black Man, of old witch-times, plotting mischief in a new guise. These foolish fancies were more than half believed among the mob. Even in superior circles, his character was invested with a vague awe, partly rising like smoke-wreaths from the popular superstitions, but chiefly caused by the varied knowledge and talents which he made subservient to his profession.
Pictorial skill being so rare in the colonies, the painter became a focal point of curiosity. While few could appreciate the technical merit of his work, there were aspects where public opinion held as much weight as the refined judgment of an expert. He observed the reactions each picture elicited from these untrained viewers and gained insights from their comments, even though they would just as soon think of instructing Nature herself as him, who seemed to rival her. Their admiration, it must be acknowledged, was colored by the biases of the time and place. Some considered it a violation of the Mosaic law and even a presumptuous mockery of the Creator to bring such vivid images of His creatures into existence. Others, who were spooked by the art that could conjure phantoms at will and keep the dead among the living, tended to view the painter as a magician, or perhaps the notorious Black Man from old witch tales, scheming mischief in a new form. These silly ideas were more than half-believed by the masses. Even in higher social circles, his character was surrounded by a sense of vague awe, partly stemming from popular superstitions, but mostly due to the diverse knowledge and skills he applied to his craft.
Being on the eve of marriage, Walter Ludlow and Elinor were eager to obtain their portraits, as the first of what, they doubtless hoped, would be a long series of family pictures. The day after the conversation above recorded, they visited the painter's rooms. A servant ushered them into an apartment, where, though the artist himself was not visible, there were personages whom they could hardly forbear greeting with reverence. They knew, indeed, that the whole assembly were but pictures, yet felt it impossible to separate the idea of life and intellect from such striking counterfeits. Several of the portraits were known to them, either as distinguished characters of the day, or their private acquaintances. There was Governor Burnet, looking as if he had just received an undutiful communication from the House of Representatives, and were inditing a most sharp response. Mr. Cooke hung beside the ruler whom he opposed, sturdy, and somewhat puritanical, as befitted a popular leader. The ancient lady of Sir William Phips eyed them from the wall, in ruff and farthingale, an imperious old dame, not unsuspected of witchcraft. John Winslow, then a very young man, wore the expression of warlike enterprise which long afterward made him a distinguished general. Their personal friends were recognized at a glance. In most of the pictures, the whole mind and character were brought out on the countenance, and concentrated into a single look, so that, to speak paradoxically, the originals hardly resembled themselves so strikingly as the portraits did.
On the brink of their wedding, Walter Ludlow and Elinor were excited to get their portraits, hoping this would be the start of a long line of family pictures. The day after their earlier conversation, they went to the painter's studio. A servant led them into a room where, although the artist himself was absent, there were figures they could hardly avoid greeting with respect. They knew that the entire gathering was just paintings, yet it felt impossible to disconnect the idea of life and intelligence from such impressive likenesses. Several portraits were familiar to them, either as prominent figures of the time or as personal acquaintances. There was Governor Burnet, appearing as if he had just received an insubordinate message from the House of Representatives and was drafting a sharp reply. Mr. Cooke hung next to the governor he opposed, robust and somewhat puritanical, as suited a popular leader. The ancient portrait of Lady Phips watched them from the wall, dressed in ruff and farthingale, an imposing figure not without suspicion of witchcraft. John Winslow, then a very young man, wore the look of military ambition that would later make him a well-known general. They recognized their personal friends instantly. In most of the paintings, the entire personality and character were expressed in the faces, concentrated into a single gaze, so that, paradoxically, the originals hardly resembled themselves as closely as the portraits did.
Among these modern worthies, there were two old bearded Saints, who had almost vanished into the darkening canvas. There was also a pale but unfaded Madonna, who had perhaps been worshiped in Rome, and now regarded the lovers with such a mild and holy look that they longed to worship too.
Among these modern heroes, there were two old, bearded saints who had almost faded into the darkening background. There was also a pale but undiminished Madonna, who had possibly been worshiped in Rome, and now looked at the lovers with such a gentle and sacred expression that they wished to worship too.
"How singular a thought," observed Walter Ludlow, "that this beautiful face has been beautiful for above two hundred years! Oh, if all beauty would endure so well! Do you not envy her, Elinor?"
"How unique a thought," Walter Ludlow remarked, "that this beautiful face has been beautiful for over two hundred years! Oh, if only all beauty could last that long! Don't you envy her, Elinor?"
"If earth were heaven, I might," she replied. "But where all things fade, how miserable to be the one that could not fade!"
"If the earth were like heaven, I might," she answered. "But in a place where everything fades, how awful to be the one who cannot fade!"
"This dark old St. Peter has a fierce and ugly scowl, saint though he be," continued Walter. "He troubles me. But the virgin looks kindly at us."
"This dark, old St. Peter has a fierce and ugly scowl, saint though he may be," continued Walter. "He bothers me. But the virgin looks at us with kindness."
"Yes; but very sorrowfully, methinks," said Elinor. The easel stood beneath these three old pictures, sustaining one that had been recently commenced. After a little inspection, they began to recognize the features of their own minister; the Rev. Dr. Colman, growing into shape and life as it were, out of a cloud.
"Yes, but very sadly, I think," said Elinor. The easel stood beneath those three old pictures, holding one that had just been started. After a little inspection, they began to recognize the features of their own minister, the Rev. Dr. Colman, gradually taking shape and life as if emerging from a cloud.
"Kind old man!" exclaimed Elinor. "He gazes at me as if he were about to utter a word of paternal advice."
"Kind old man!" Elinor exclaimed. "He looks at me like he's about to give me some fatherly advice."
"And at me," said Walter, "as if he were about to shake his head and rebuke me for some suspected iniquity. But so does the original. I shall never feel quite comfortable under his eye, till we stand before him to be married."
"And at me," said Walter, "as if he was about to shake his head and scold me for some imagined wrongdoing. But so does the original. I’ll never feel completely at ease under his gaze until we stand before him to get married."
They now heard a footstep on the floor, and turning, beheld the painter, who had been some moments in the room, and had listened to a few of their remarks. He was a middle-aged man, with a countenance well worthy of his own pencil. Indeed, by the picturesque though careless arrangement of his rich dress, and, perhaps, because his soul dwelt always among painted shapes, he looked somewhat like a portrait himself. His visitors were sensible of a kindred between the artist and his works, and felt as if one of the pictures had stepped from the canvas to salute them.
They heard a footstep on the floor and turned to see the painter, who had been in the room for a while and had listened to some of their conversation. He was a middle-aged man with a face that was truly worthy of his own brush. In fact, due to the artistic yet casual way he wore his elaborate clothing, and perhaps because he always surrounded himself with painted figures, he resembled a portrait himself. His visitors sensed a connection between the artist and his creations and felt as if one of the paintings had come to life to greet them.
Walter Ludlow, who was slightly known to the painter, explained the object of their visit. While he spoke, a sun-beam was falling athwart his figure and Elinor's, with so happy an effect that they also seemed living pictures of youth and beauty, gladdened by bright fortune. The artist was evidently struck.
Walter Ludlow, who was somewhat familiar to the painter, explained the reason for their visit. As he spoke, a beam of sunlight fell across him and Elinor, creating such a joyful effect that they appeared to be living images of youth and beauty, brightened by good fortune. The artist was clearly impressed.
"My easel is occupied for several ensuing days, and my stay in Boston must be brief," said he, thoughtfully; then, after an observant glance, he added, "but your wishes shall be gratified, though I disappoint the Chief-Justice and Madam Oliver. I must not lose this opportunity, for the sake of painting a few ells of broadcloth and brocade."
"My easel is in use for the next few days, and I can’t stay in Boston long," he said, thoughtfully. After a careful look, he added, "But I will make sure your wishes are met, even if it means disappointing the Chief Justice and Madam Oliver. I can’t miss this chance just to paint some yards of fancy fabric."
The painter expressed a desire to introduce both their portraits into one picture, and represent them engaged in some appropriate action. This plan would have delighted the lovers, but was necessarily rejected, because so large a space of canvas would have been unfit for the room which it was intended to decorate. Two half-length portraits were therefore fixed upon. After they had taken leave, Walter Ludlow asked Elinor, with a smile, whether she knew what an influence over their fates the painter was about to acquire.
The painter wanted to combine both their portraits into one picture and show them doing something fitting. This idea would have made the lovers happy, but it had to be turned down because such a large canvas wouldn't have suited the room it was meant to decorate. So, they decided on two half-length portraits instead. After they said goodbye, Walter Ludlow smiled and asked Elinor if she realized the kind of influence the painter was about to have on their lives.
"The old women of Boston affirm," continued he, "that after he has once got possession of a person's face and figure, he may paint him in any act or situation whatever—and the picture will be prophetic. Do you believe it?"
"The old women of Boston say," he continued, "that once he has captured a person's face and figure, he can paint them in any action or situation—and the picture will be prophetic. Do you believe it?"
"Not quite," said Elinor, smiling. "Yet if he has such magic, there is something so gentle in his manner that I am sure he will use it well."
"Not quite," Elinor said with a smile. "But if he has that kind of magic, there's something so gentle about him that I'm sure he'll use it wisely."
It was the painter's choice to proceed with both the portraits at the same time, assigning as a reason, in the mystical language which he sometimes used, that the faces threw light upon each other. Accordingly, he gave now a touch to Walter, and now to Elinor, and the features of one and the other began to start forth so vividly that it appeared as if his triumphant art would actually disengage them from the canvas. Amid the rich light and deep shade they beheld their phantom selves. But, though the likeness promised to be perfect, they were not quite satisfied with the expression; it seemed more vague than in most of the painter's works. He, however, was satisfied with the prospect of success, and being much interested in the lovers, employed his leisure moments, unknown to them, in making a crayon sketch of their two figures. During their sittings, he engaged them in conversation, and kindled up their faces with characteristic traits, which, though continually varying, it was his purpose to combine and fix. At length he announced that at their next visit both the portraits would be ready for delivery.
It was the painter's choice to work on both portraits at the same time, explaining with his usual mysterious language that the faces illuminated each other. He would now add a detail to Walter, then to Elinor, and their features began to emerge so vividly that it seemed his extraordinary skills could actually pull them off the canvas. In the rich light and deep shadows, they glimpsed their ghostly reflections. However, even though the likeness promised to be perfect, they felt something was off about the expression; it seemed more ambiguous than in most of the painter's works. He, on the other hand, was pleased with the prospect of success and, intrigued by the lovers, discreetly used his free time to make a crayon sketch of their two figures. During their sittings, he drew them into conversation, bringing out their faces with distinctive traits, which he aimed to combine and capture despite their continual changes. Finally, he announced that at their next visit, both portraits would be ready for them.
"If my pencil will but be true to my conception, in the few last touches which I meditate," observed he, "these two pictures will be my very best performances. Seldom, indeed, has an artist such subjects."
"If my pencil can accurately capture what I'm envisioning in the final few touches I’m thinking about," he remarked, "these two pictures will be my absolute best work. It’s rare for an artist to have such amazing subjects."
While speaking, he still bent his penetrative eye upon them, nor withdrew it till they had reached the bottom of the stairs.
While speaking, he still kept his piercing gaze on them and didn't look away until they reached the bottom of the stairs.
Nothing, in the whole circle of human vanities, takes stronger hold of the imagination than this affair of having a portrait painted. Yet why should it be so? The looking-glass, the polished globes of the andirons, the mirror-like water, and all other reflecting surfaces, continually present us with portraits, or rather ghosts, of ourselves, which we glance at, and straightway forget them. But we forget them only because they vanish. It is the idea of duration—of earthly immortality—that gives such a mysterious interest to our own portraits. Walter and Elinor were not insensible to this feeling, and hastened to the painter's room, punctually at the appointed hour, to meet those pictured shapes which were to be their representatives with posterity. The sunshine flashed after them into the apartment, but left it somewhat gloomy, as they closed the door.
Nothing in the whole range of human vanities captures the imagination quite like getting a portrait painted. But why is that? We have mirrors, shiny fireplace tools, reflective water, and all sorts of surfaces that constantly show us our own reflections, which we glance at and quickly forget. We only forget them because they fade away. It’s the idea of permanence—of earthly immortality—that gives a mysterious allure to our own portraits. Walter and Elinor weren’t blind to this feeling and hurried to the painter’s studio right on time to meet the images that would represent them for future generations. The sunlight followed them into the room but left it feeling a bit dark as they shut the door.
Their eyes were immediately attracted to their portraits, which rested against the furthest wall of the room. At the first glance, through the dim light and the distance, seeing themselves in precisely their natural attitudes, and with all the air that they recognized so well, they uttered a simultaneous exclamation of delight.
Their eyes were instantly drawn to their portraits, which leaned against the farthest wall of the room. At first glance, through the dim light and from a distance, seeing themselves in exactly their natural poses, and with the familiar expressions they recognized so well, they let out a simultaneous gasp of joy.
"There we stand," cried Walter, enthusiastically, "fixed in sunshine forever! No dark passions can gather on our faces!"
"There we stand," Walter shouted, excitedly, "stuck in sunshine forever! No dark feelings can gather on our faces!"
"No," said Elinor, more calmly; "no dreary change can sadden us."
"No," Elinor said, more calmly, "no gloomy change can bring us down."
This was said while they were approaching, and had yet gained only an imperfect view of the pictures. The painter, after saluting them, busied himself at a table in completing a crayon sketch, leaving his visitors to form their own judgment as to his perfected labors. At intervals, he sent a glance from beneath his deep eyebrows, watching their countenances in profile, with his pencil suspended over the sketch. They had now stood some moments, each in front of the other's picture, contemplating it with entranced attention, but without uttering a word. At length Walter stepped forward—then back—viewing Elinor's portrait in various lights, and finally spoke.
This was said as they were getting closer, and they could only get a vague view of the paintings. The artist, after greeting them, focused on finishing a crayon sketch at a table, letting his guests form their own opinions about his finished work. Occasionally, he glanced out from under his thick eyebrows, observing their expressions in profile while his pencil hovered over the sketch. They had been standing for a while, each in front of the other's portrait, absorbed in thought but saying nothing. Finally, Walter stepped forward—then back—looking at Elinor's portrait from different angles, and then he spoke.
"Is there not a change?" said he, in a doubtful and meditative tone. "Yes; the perception of it grows more vivid, the longer I look. It is certainly the same picture that I saw yesterday; the dress—the features—all are the same; and yet something is altered."
"Is there no change?" he said, with a skeptical and thoughtful tone. "Yes; the awareness of it becomes clearer the longer I look. It’s definitely the same image I saw yesterday; the dress—the features—all are the same; and yet something has changed."
"Is, then, the picture less like than it was yesterday?" inquired the painter, now drawing near, with irrepressible interest.
"Is the picture less similar than it was yesterday?" the painter asked, coming closer with intense curiosity.
"The features are perfect, Elinor," answered Walter, "and, at the first glance, the expression seemed also hers. But, I could fancy that the portrait has changed countenance while I have been looking at it. The eyes are fixed on mine with a strangely sad and anxious expression. Nay, it is grief and terror! Is this like Elinor?"
"The features are perfect, Elinor," Walter replied, "and at first glance, the expression also seemed to be yours. But I feel like the portrait has changed while I’ve been looking at it. The eyes are staring at me with a strangely sad and worried look. No, it’s grief and fear! Is this what Elinor looks like?"
"Compare the living face with the pictured one," said the painter.
"Compare the real face with the painted one," said the painter.
Walter glanced sidelong at his mistress and started. Motionless and absorbed—fascinated as it were—in contemplation of Walter's portrait, Elinor's face had assumed precisely the expression of which he had just been complaining. Had she practiced for whole hours before a mirror, she could not have caught the look so successfully. Had the picture itself been a mirror, it could not have thrown back her present aspect, with stronger and more melancholy truth. She appeared quite unconscious of the dialogue between the artist and her lover.
Walter glanced over at his mistress and jumped. Motionless and absorbed—captivated, it seemed—in contemplation of Walter's portrait, Elinor's face had taken on exactly the expression he had just been criticizing. If she had practiced for hours in front of a mirror, she couldn't have captured the look so perfectly. If the painting had been a mirror, it couldn't have reflected her current appearance with stronger, more poignant truth. She seemed completely unaware of the conversation between the artist and her lover.
"Elinor," exclaimed Walter, in amazement, "what change has come over you?"
"Elinor," Walter said in surprise, "what's happened to you?"
She did not hear him, nor desist from her fixed gaze, till he seized her hand, and thus attracted her notice; then, with a sudden tremor, she looked from the picture to the face of the original. "Do you see no change in your portrait?" asked she.
She didn't hear him, nor did she look away from her intense gaze, until he grabbed her hand, which finally caught her attention; then, with a sudden shiver, she shifted her focus from the picture to the person's face. "Don't you notice any difference in your portrait?" she asked.
"In mine?—None!" replied Walter, examining it. "But let me see! Yes; there is a slight change—an improvement, I think, in the picture, though none in the likeness. It has a livelier expression than yesterday, as if some bright thought were flashing from the eyes, and about to be uttered from the lips. Now that I have caught the look, it becomes very decided."
"In mine?—None!" replied Walter, looking it over. "But let me see! Yes; there's a slight change—an improvement, I think, in the picture, though not in the likeness. It has a livelier expression than yesterday, as if a bright thought is about to flash from the eyes and come out from the lips. Now that I've caught the look, it's very clear."
While he was intent on these observations, Elinor turned to the painter. She regarded him with grief and awe, and felt that he repaid her with sympathy and commiseration, though wherefore she could but vaguely guess.
While he focused on these observations, Elinor turned to the painter. She looked at him with sadness and admiration, and sensed that he responded with understanding and compassion, although she could only vaguely guess why.
"That look!" whispered she, and shuddered. "How came it there?"
"That look!" she whispered, shuddering. "How did it get there?"
"Madam," said the painter, sadly, taking her hand, and leading her apart, "in both these pictures I have painted what I saw. The artist—the true artist—must look beneath the exterior. It is his gift—his proudest but often a melancholy one—to see the inmost soul, and by a power indefinable even to himself to make it glow or darken upon the canvas, in glances that express the thought and sentiment of years. Would that I might convince myself of error in the present instance!"
"Ma'am," the painter said sadly, taking her hand and moving her aside, "in both of these paintings, I've captured what I observed. The artist— the true artist—needs to look beyond the surface. It's his talent—his greatest yet often saddest one—to see the deepest soul and, in a way he can’t even define, make it shine or dim on the canvas, conveying the thoughts and feelings of years. I wish I could convince myself that I was mistaken in this case!"
They had now approached the table, on which were heads in chalk, hands almost as expressive as ordinary faces, ivied church towers, thatched cottages, old thunder-stricken trees, Oriental and antique costume, and all such picturesque vagaries of an artist's idle moments. Turning them over, with seeming carelessness, a crayon sketch of two figures was disclosed.
They had now reached the table, where there were chalk-drawn heads, hands that were almost as expressive as real faces, ivy-covered church towers, thatched cottages, old trees struck by lightning, outfits from the East and ancient times, and all kinds of picturesque whims from an artist's idle hours. As they flipped them over, with a touch of indifference, a crayon sketch of two figures was revealed.
"If I have failed," continued he, "if your heart does not see itself reflected in your own portrait, if you have no secret cause to trust my delineation of the other, it is not yet too late to alter them. I might change the action of these figures too. But would it influence the event?"
"If I have failed," he continued, "if you can’t see your heart reflected in your own portrait, if you have no reason to trust my depiction of the other person, it's not too late to change them. I could alter the actions of these figures too. But would it change the outcome?"
He directed her notice to the sketch. A thrill ran through Elinor's frame; a shriek was upon her lips; but she stifled it, with the self-command that becomes habitual to all who hide thoughts of fear and anguish within their bosoms. Turning from the table, she perceived that Walter had advanced near enough to have seen the sketch, though she could not determine whether it had caught his eye.
He pointed her attention to the sketch. A thrill ran through Elinor's body; a scream was on her lips; but she held it back, with the self-control that becomes second nature to anyone who hides feelings of fear and anguish deep inside. Turning away from the table, she noticed that Walter had come close enough to have seen the sketch, though she couldn't tell if it had caught his attention.
"We will not have the pictures altered," said she hastily. "If mine is sad, I shall but look the gayer for the contrast."
"We're not changing the pictures," she said quickly. "If mine looks sad, it'll just make me look happier in comparison."
"Be it so," answered the painter, bowing. "May your griefs be such fanciful ones that only your picture may mourn for them! For your joys—may they be true and deep, and paint themselves upon this lovely face till it quite belie my art!"
"Alright," replied the painter, bowing. "I hope your sorrows are only the kind that your painting can feel for you! As for your joys—may they be real and profound, and show themselves on this beautiful face until it completely surpasses my skill!"
After the marriage of Walter and Elinor, the pictures formed the two most splendid ornaments of their abode. They hung side by side, separated by a narrow panel, appearing to eye each other constantly, yet always returning the gaze of the spectator. Travelled gentlemen, who professed a knowledge of such subjects, reckoned these among the most admirable specimens of modern portraiture; while common observers compared them with the originals, feature by feature, and were rapturous in praise of the likeness. But it was on a third class—neither travelled connoisseurs nor common observers, but people of natural sensibility—that the pictures wrought their strongest effect. Such persons might gaze carelessly at first, but, becoming interested, would return day after day, and study these painted faces like the pages of a mystic volume. Walter Ludlow's portrait attracted their earliest notice. In the absence of himself and his bride, they sometimes disputed as to the expression which the painter had intended to throw upon the features; all agreeing that there was a look of earnest import, though no two explained it alike. There was less diversity of opinion in regard to Elinor's picture. They differed, indeed, in their attempts to estimate the nature and depth of the gloom that dwelt upon her face, but agreed that it was gloom, and alien from the natural temperament of their youthful friend. A certain fanciful person announced, as the result of much scrutiny, that both these pictures were parts of one design, and that the melancholy strength of feeling, in Elinor's countenance, bore reference to the more vivid emotion, or, as he termed it, the wild passion, in that of Walter. Though unskilled in the art, he even began a sketch, in which the action of the two figures was to correspond with their mutual expression.
After Walter and Elinor got married, the paintings became the two most impressive decorations in their home. They hung next to each other, separated by a slim panel, seeming to constantly look at each other while always meeting the gaze of viewers. Worldly gentlemen, who claimed to understand such things, considered these to be among the best examples of modern portraiture; meanwhile, casual observers compared them feature by feature to the original subjects and enthusiastically praised the likeness. However, it was a third group—neither art experts nor casual viewers, but people with natural sensitivity—that felt the strongest impact from the paintings. They might glance at them initially, but as they grew interested, they would return day after day, studying the painted faces like the pages of a mysterious book. Walter Ludlow's portrait caught their attention first. In Walter's and his bride's absence, they sometimes debated the expression the artist intended to convey, all agreeing there was an earnest look, though no two descriptions matched. There was less disagreement about Elinor's portrait. They varied in their attempts to gauge the nature and depth of the sorrow on her face, but agreed it was indeed sorrow, and not typical of their cheerful friend. One imaginative person concluded, after much observation, that both paintings were part of a single concept, suggesting that Elinor's deep sadness referenced the more intense emotion, or as he put it, the wild passion, present in Walter's portrait. Though not skilled in art, he even started a sketch where the two figures' actions would align with their shared expressions.
It was whispered among friends, that, day by day, Elinor's face was assuming a deeper shade of pensiveness, which threatened soon to render her too true a counterpart of her melancholy picture. Walter, on the other hand, instead of acquiring the vivid look which the painter had given him on the canvas, became reserved and downcast, with no outward flashes of emotion, however it might be smouldering within. In course of time, Elinor hung a gorgeous curtain of purple silk, wrought with flowers, and fringed with heavy golden tassels, before the pictures, under pretence that the dust would tarnish their hues, or the light dim them. It was enough. Her visitors felt that the massive folds of the silk must never be withdrawn, nor the portraits mentioned in her presence.
It was whispered among friends that, day by day, Elinor's face was taking on a deeper shade of sadness, which threatened to make her look exactly like her gloomy portrait. Walter, on the other hand, instead of acquiring the vivid expression that the artist had given him on the canvas, became withdrawn and downcast, with no outward signs of emotion, even if it was simmering beneath the surface. Eventually, Elinor hung a stunning curtain of purple silk, decorated with flowers and lined with heavy golden tassels, in front of the portraits, claiming that dust would dull their colors or light would fade them. That was enough. Her guests felt that the thick folds of the silk should never be drawn back, nor should the portraits be mentioned in her presence.
Time wore on; and the painter came again. He had been far enough to the north to see the silver cascade of the Crystal Hills, and to look over the vast round of cloud and forest, from the summit of New England's loftiest mountain. But he did not profane that scene by the mockery of his art. He had also lain in a canoe on the bosom of Lake George, making his soul the mirror of its loveliness and grandeur, till not a picture in the Vatican was more vivid than his recollection. He had gone with the Indian hunters to Niagara, and there, again, had flung his hopeless pencil down the precipice, feeling that he could as soon paint the roar as aught else that goes to make up the wondrous cataract. In truth, it was seldom his impulse to copy natural scenery, except as a framework for the delineations of the human form and face, instinct with thought, passion, or suffering. With store of such, his adventurous ramble had enriched him; the stern dignity of Indian chiefs; the dusky loveliness of Indian girls; the domestic life of wigwams; the stealthy march; the battle beneath gloomy pine trees; the frontier fortress with its garrison; the anomaly of the old French partisan, bred in courts, but grown gray in shaggy deserts; such were the scenes and portraits that he had sketched. The glow of perilous moments; flashes of wild feeling; struggles of fierce power—love, hate, grief, frenzy—in a word, all the worn-out heart of the old earth had been revealed to him under a new form. His portfolio was filled with graphic illustrations of the volume of his memory, which genius would transmute into its own substance, and imbue with immortality. He felt that the deep wisdom in his art, which he had sought so far, was found.
Time passed, and the painter returned. He had traveled far north to witness the stunning silver waterfall of the Crystal Hills and to gaze over the expansive views of clouds and forests from the peak of New England's highest mountain. However, he didn’t taint that beauty with the mockery of his art. He had also floated in a canoe on Lake George, allowing its beauty and grandeur to reflect in his soul, until no artwork in the Vatican could match his vivid memory. He had joined Indian hunters at Niagara, and once again, he tossed aside his brush in frustration, realizing he couldn't capture the roar of the falls or anything else that contributed to the stunning waterfall’s essence. In truth, he rarely felt the urge to replicate natural scenery, except when it served as a backdrop for depictions of the human form and face filled with thought, passion, or suffering. His adventurous journeys enriched him with such experiences; the stern dignity of Indian chiefs, the dusky beauty of Indian girls, the daily life in wigwams, the stealthy marches, battles beneath dark pine trees, the frontier fortress with its soldiers, and the unusual old French partisan, raised in courts but aged in rugged deserts. These were the scenes and portraits he had sketched. The intensity of dangerous moments, flashes of raw emotion, and struggles of fierce feelings—love, hate, grief, madness—in short, all the worn-out heart of the old earth had been shown to him in a new way. His portfolio was packed with vivid illustrations of the memories he held, which his genius would transform into something eternal. He felt that the deep wisdom he had sought in his art had finally been discovered.
But, amid stern or lovely nature, in the perils of the forest, or its overwhelming peacefulness, still there had been two phantoms, the companions of his way. Like all other men around whom an engrossing purpose wreathes itself, he was insulated from the mass of human kind. He had no aim—no pleasure—no sympathies—but what were ultimately connected with his art. Though gentle in manner, and upright in intent and action, he did not possess kindly feelings; his heart was cold; no living creature could be brought near enough to keep him warm. For these two beings, however, he had felt, in its greatest intensity, the sort of interest which always allied him to the subjects of his pencil. He had pried into their souls with his keenest insight, and pictured the result upon their features with his utmost skill, so as barely to fall short of that standard which no genius ever reached, his own severe conception. He had caught from the duskiness of the future—at least, so he fancied—a fearful secret, and had obscurely revealed it on the portraits. So much of himself—of his imagination and all other powers—had been lavished on the study of Walter and Elinor, that he almost regarded them as creations of his own, like the thousands with which he had peopled the realms of Picture. Therefore did they flit through the twilight of the woods, hover on the mist of waterfalls, look forth from the mirror of the lake, nor melt away in the noontide sun. They haunted his pictorial fancy, not as mockeries of life, nor pale goblins of the dead, but in the guise of portraits, each with the unalterable expression which his magic had evoked from the caverns of the soul. He could not recross the Atlantic, till he had again beheld the originals of those airy pictures.
But, amidst the harsh or beautiful nature, in the dangers of the forest or its overwhelming calm, there were still two phantoms that accompanied him on his journey. Like everyone else driven by a strong purpose, he felt isolated from the rest of humanity. He had no goals—no joy—no connections other than those tied to his art. Although he was gentle in demeanor and upright in his intentions and actions, he lacked warm feelings; his heart was cold, and no living being could get close enough to warm him. However, for these two beings, he felt a profound interest that was always connected to the subjects of his drawings. He had probed into their souls with his sharp insight and captured the essence of their features with his greatest skill, coming close to that ideal standard which no genius has ever fully achieved, his own strict vision. He had sensed a terrifying secret in the shadows of the future—at least, that’s what he believed—and had vaguely revealed it in the portraits. He had invested so much of himself—his imagination and all his talents—into studying Walter and Elinor that he almost viewed them as his own creations, like the countless figures he had filled his paintings with. That’s why they seemed to drift through the twilight of the woods, linger in the mist of waterfalls, gaze from the lake’s surface, and not dissolve under the midday sun. They haunted his artistic imagination, not as mockeries of life or pale ghosts of the dead, but as portraits, each with the unchanging expression that his talent had drawn from the depths of the soul. He could not cross the Atlantic again until he had once more seen the originals of those ethereal images.
"Oh, glorious Art!" thus mused the enthusiastic painter, as he trod the street. "Thou art the image of the Creator's own. The innumerable forms that wander in nothingness start into being at thy beck. The dead live again. Thou recallest them to their old scenes, and givest their gray shadows the lustre of a better life, at once earthly and immortal. Thou snatchest back the fleeting moments of History. With thee, there is no Past; for, at thy touch, all that is great becomes forever present; and illustrious men live through long ages, in the visible performance of the very deeds which made them what they are. Oh, potent Art! as thou bringest the faintly revealed Past to stand in that narrow strip of sunlight which we call Now, canst thou summon the shrouded Future to meet her there? Have I not achieved it! Am I not thy Prophet?"
"Oh, glorious Art!" the enthusiastic painter mused as he walked down the street. "You are the reflection of the Creator Himself. The countless forms that linger in nothingness come to life at your command. The dead come back to life. You bring them back to their old scenes and give their gray shadows the shine of a better existence, both earthly and eternal. You seize the fleeting moments of History. With you, there is no Past; for, at your touch, everything great becomes permanently present, and illustrious figures live through the ages in the visible enactment of the very deeds that defined them. Oh, powerful Art! As you bring the faintly revealed Past to stand in that narrow strip of sunlight we call Now, can you summon the hidden Future to meet her there? Haven't I achieved it? Am I not your Prophet?"
Thus with a proud yet melancholy fervor did he almost cry aloud, as he passed through the toilsome street, among people that knew not of his reveries, nor could understand nor care for them. It is not good for man to cherish a solitary ambition. Unless there be those around him by whose example he may regulate himself, his thoughts, desires, and hopes will become extravagant, and he the semblance, perhaps the reality, of a madman. Reading other bosoms, with an acuteness almost preternatural, the painter failed to see the disorder of his own.
Thus, with a mix of pride and sadness, he almost cried out as he walked down the difficult street, surrounded by people who were unaware of his daydreams and didn't understand or care about them. It's not good for a person to hold onto a solitary ambition. Without others around to help him stay grounded, his thoughts, desires, and hopes might become extreme, and he could seem, or even truly be, like a madman. While he had an almost unnatural ability to read others' feelings, the artist was blind to the chaos within his own.
"And this should be the house," said he, looking up and down the front, before he knocked. "Heaven help my brains! That picture! Methinks it will never vanish. Whether I look at the windows or the door, there it is framed within them, painted strongly, and glowing in the richest tints—the faces of the portraits—the figures and action of the sketch!"
"And this should be the house," he said, glancing up and down the front before he knocked. "Heaven help my mind! That image! I think it will never fade away. Whether I look at the windows or the door, it's there, framed within them, vividly painted and shining with the richest colors—the faces in the portraits—the figures and the action in the sketch!"
He knocked.
He knocked.
"The portraits! Are they within?" inquired he, of the domestic; then recollecting himself—"your master and mistress! Are they at home?"
"The portraits! Are they inside?" he asked the servant; then remembering himself—"your master and mistress! Are they home?"
"They are, sir," said the servant, adding, as he noticed that picturesque aspect of which the painter could never divest himself, "and the Portraits too!"
"They are, sir," said the servant, adding, as he noticed that charming quality the painter could never shake off, "and the portraits too!"
The guest was admitted into a parlor, communicating by a central door with an interior room of the same size. As the first apartment was empty, he passed to the entrance of the second, within which his eyes were greeted by those living personages, as well as their pictured representatives, who had long been the object of so singular an interest. He involuntarily paused on the threshold.
The guest was let into a sitting room, which had a central door connecting it to another room of the same size. Since the first room was empty, he moved to the entrance of the second, where he was met by the real people, as well as their painted representations, who had captured his interest for so long. He instinctively paused at the threshold.
They had not perceived his approach. Walter and Elinor were standing before the portraits, whence the former had just flung back the rich and voluminous folds of the silken curtain, holding its golden tassel with one hand, while the other grasped that of his bride. The pictures, concealed for months, gleamed forth again in undiminished splendor, appearing to throw a sombre light across the room rather than to be disclosed by a borrowed radiance. That of Elinor had been almost prophetic. A pensiveness, and next a gentle sorrow, had successively dwelt upon her countenance, deepening, with the lapse of time, into a quiet anguish. A mixture of affright would now have made it the very expression of the portrait. Walter's face was moody and dull, or animated only by fitful flashes, which left a heavier darkness for their momentary illumination. He looked from Elinor to her portrait, and thence to his own, in the contemplation of which he finally stood absorbed.
They hadn't noticed him coming. Walter and Elinor were standing in front of the portraits, where Walter had just pulled back the rich, flowing folds of the silk curtain, holding its golden tassel with one hand and his bride’s hand with the other. The pictures, hidden for months, shone with undiminished splendor, casting a somber light across the room instead of being revealed by any outside glow. Elinor's portrait almost seemed prophetic. A thoughtful look, followed by a gentle sadness, had successively settled on her face, deepening over time into a quiet pain. A hint of fear would have made it the perfect expression for the portrait. Walter's face was gloomy and dull, occasionally brightened by fleeting moments that only left him feeling heavier once they passed. He looked from Elinor to her portrait, and then to his own, eventually getting lost in thought as he gazed at it.
The painter seemed to hear the step of Destiny approaching behind him, on its progress toward its victims. A strange thought darted into his mind. Was not his own the form in which that Destiny had embodied itself, and he a chief agent of the coming evil which he had foreshadowed?
The painter felt like he could hear Destiny's footsteps coming up behind him, moving toward its victims. A strange thought crossed his mind. Wasn't he the embodiment of that Destiny, and was he not a major player in the impending evil he had predicted?
Still, Walter remained silent before the picture, communing with it, as with his own heart, and abandoning himself to the spell of evil influence that the painter had cast upon the features. Gradually his eyes kindled; while, as Elinor watched the increasing wildness of his face, her own assumed a look of terror; and when at last he turned upon her, the resemblance of both to their portraits was complete.
Still, Walter stood silent in front of the painting, connecting with it as he did with his own heart, surrendering to the dark allure the artist had infused into the features. Gradually, his eyes began to light up; and as Elinor noticed the growing intensity on his face, her own expression turned to one of fear. When he finally faced her, the similarity between them and their portraits was strikingly complete.
"Our fate is upon us!" howled Walter. "Die!"
"Our fate is here!" Walter shouted. "Die!"
Drawing a knife, he sustained her, as she was sinking to the ground, and aimed it at her bosom. In the action and in the look and attitude of each, the painter beheld the figures of his sketch. The picture, with all its tremendous coloring was finished.
Drawing a knife, he supported her as she was falling to the ground, and pointed it at her chest. In their movements and expressions, the artist saw the forms of his drawing. The artwork, with all its powerful colors, was complete.
"Hold, madman!" cried he, sternly.
"Stop, you madman!" he shouted.
He had advanced from the door, and interposed himself between the wretched beings, with the same sense of power to regulate their destiny as to alter a scene upon the canvas. He stood like a magician, controlling the phantoms which he had evoked.
He stepped away from the door and positioned himself between the miserable people, feeling as powerful as if he could change their fate like altering a scene on a canvas. He stood there like a magician, commanding the spirits he had summoned.
"What!" muttered Walter Ludlow, as he relapsed from fierce excitement into silent gloom. "Does Fate impede its own decree?"
"What!" Walter Ludlow muttered, as he slipped from intense excitement into quiet despair. "Does Fate block its own order?"
"Wretched lady!" said the painter. "Did I not warn you?"
"Wretched lady!" said the painter. "Didn't I warn you?"
"You did," replied Elinor, calmly, as her terror gave place to the quiet grief which it had disturbed. "But—I loved him!"
"You did," Elinor replied calmly, as her fear shifted to the quiet sadness that it had disrupted. "But—I loved him!"
Is there not a deep moral in the tale? Could the result of one, or all our deeds, be shadowed forth and set before us—some would call it Fate and hurry onward, others be swept along by their passionate desires—and none be turned aside by the PROPHETIC PICTURES.
Is there not a profound lesson in this story? If the outcome of one or all of our actions could be shown to us—some might refer to it as Fate and move quickly past it, while others are carried away by their intense desires—and none would be deterred by the VISIONARY IMAGES.
THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW
By WASHINGTON IRVING
(FOUND AMONG THE PAPERS OF THE LATE DIEDRICH KNICKERBOCKER)
"A pleasing land of drowsy head it was,
Of dreams that wave before the half-shut eye;
And of gay castles in the clouds that pass,
Forever flushing round a summer sky."
—Castle of Indolence
"A beautiful land of sleepy heads it was,
Of dreams that flutter before the half-closed eye;
And of cheerful castles in the clouds that drift,
Always glowing in a summer sky."
—Castle of Laziness
In the bosom of one of those spacious coves which indent the eastern shore of the Hudson, at that broad expansion of the river denominated by the ancient Dutch navigators the Tappaan Zee, and where they always prudently shortened sail and implored the protection of St. Nicholas when they crossed, there lies a small market town or rural port, which by some is called Greensburgh, but which is more generally and properly known by the name of Tarry Town. This name was given it, we are told, in former days, by the good housewives of the adjacent country, from the inveterate propensity of their husbands to linger about the village tavern on market days. Be that as it may, I do not vouch for the fact, but merely advert to it, for the sake of being precise and authentic. Not far from this village, perhaps about three miles, there is a little valley or rather lap of land among high hills, which is one of the quietest places in the whole world. A small brook glides through it, with just murmur enough to lull one to repose, and the occasional whistle of a quail, or tapping of a woodpecker, is almost the only sound that ever breaks in upon the uniform tranquillity.
In the heart of one of those spacious coves along the eastern shore of the Hudson, at the wide stretch of the river called Tappaan Zee by the old Dutch navigators, where they would wisely lower their sails and ask for St. Nicholas's protection when crossing, there’s a small market town or rural port. Some call it Greensburgh, but it's more commonly and accurately known as Tarry Town. This name was supposedly given in earlier days by the local housewives due to their husbands' tendency to hang around the village tavern on market days. Whether that's true or not, I can't confirm; I just mention it to be precise and accurate. Not far from this village, about three miles away, there's a small valley or rather a patch of land among tall hills, which is one of the quietest places in the world. A small brook flows through it, softly murmuring just enough to lull someone to sleep, and the occasional whistle of a quail or the tapping of a woodpecker is nearly the only sound that interrupts the serene calm.
I recollect that, when a stripling, my first exploit in squirrel-shooting was in a grove of tall walnut-trees that shades one side of the valley. I had wandered into it at noon-time, when all nature is peculiarly quiet, and was startled by roar of my own gun, as it broke the sabbath stillness around and was prolonged and reverberated by the angry echoes. If ever I should wish for a retreat whither I might steal from the world and its distractions, and dream quietly away the remnant of a troubled life, I know of none more promising than this little valley.
I remember that when I was a kid, my first adventure in squirrel hunting took place in a grove of tall walnut trees that shade one side of the valley. I had wandered into it at noon, when everything is especially quiet, and I was shocked by the loud bang of my gun as it shattered the calm and echoed angrily around me. If I ever wanted a place to escape from the world and its distractions, to quietly dream away the rest of a troubled life, I can’t think of a better spot than this little valley.
From the listless repose of the place and the peculiar character of its inhabitants, who are descendants from the original Dutch settlers, this sequestered glen has long been known by the name of Sleepy Hollow, and its rustic lads are called the Sleepy Hollow Boys throughout all the neighboring country. A drowsy, dreamy influence seems to hang over the land and to pervade the very atmosphere. Some say that the place was bewitched by a high German doctor, during the early days of the settlement; others, that an old Indian chief, the prophet or wizard of his tribe, held his powwows there before the country was discovered by Master Hendrick Hudson. Certain it is, the place still continues under the sway of some witching power that holds a spell over the minds of the good people, causing them to walk in a continual reverie. They are given to all kinds of marvelous beliefs; are subject to trances and visions, and frequently see strange sights, and hear music and voices in the air. The whole neighborhood abounds with local tales, haunted spots, and twilight superstitions; stars shoot and meteors glare oftener across the valley than in any other part of the country, and the nightmare, with her whole nine fold, seems to make it the favorite scene of her gambols.
From the lazy stillness of the place and the unique character of its residents, who are descendants of the original Dutch settlers, this secluded valley has long been known as Sleepy Hollow, and its rustic guys are referred to as the Sleepy Hollow Boys throughout the surrounding area. A sleepy, dreamy vibe seems to hang over the land and fill the very air. Some say that a high German doctor bewitched the place during the early days of the settlement; others claim that an old Indian chief, the prophet or wizard of his tribe, held his rituals there before the land was discovered by Master Hendrick Hudson. It’s clear that the place is still under the influence of some enchanting power that casts a spell over the minds of the good people, making them wander in a constant daydream. They believe all sorts of amazing things, experience trances and visions, and often see strange sights, as well as hear music and voices in the air. The entire neighborhood is filled with local stories, haunted locations, and twilight superstitions; shooting stars and meteors streak across the valley more frequently than in any other part of the country, and nightmares, with all their various forms, seem to make it their favorite playground.
The dominant spirit, however, that haunts this enchanted region and seems to be commander-in-chief of all the powers of the air, is the apparition of a figure on horseback without a head. It is said by some to be the ghost of a Hessian trooper, whose head had been carried away by a cannon-ball in some nameless battle during the revolutionary war, and who is ever and anon seen by the country folk, hurrying along in the gloom of night, as if on the wings of the wind. His haunts are not confined to the valley, but extend at times to the adjacent roads, and especially to the vicinity of a church that is at no great distance. Indeed, certain of the most authentic historians of those parts, who have been careful in collecting and collating the floating facts concerning this specter, allege that, the body of the trooper having been buried in the churchyard, the ghost rides forth to the scene of battle in nightly quest of his head, and that the rushing speed with which he sometimes passes along the hollow like a midnight blast, is owing to his being belated, and in a hurry to get back to the churchyard before daybreak.
The main spirit that lingers in this enchanted area, and seems to be in charge of all the forces in the air, is the ghost of a headless horseman. Some say he’s the ghost of a Hessian soldier whose head was blown off by a cannonball in an unknown battle during the Revolutionary War, and he is often seen by locals rushing through the night, almost like he’s flying. His sightings aren’t limited to the valley; they sometimes reach the nearby roads, especially near a church that's not too far away. In fact, some of the most reliable historians from that area, who have carefully gathered and organized the scattered stories about this ghost, claim that since the trooper's body was buried in the churchyard, his ghost rides out to the battlefield each night looking for his head. The reason he speeds past like a midnight gust is because he’s running late and trying to return to the churchyard before dawn.
Such is the general purport of this legendary superstition, which has furnished materials for many a wild story in that region of shadows, and the specter is known at all the country firesides by the name of The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow.
Such is the general meaning of this legendary superstition, which has inspired many wild stories in that shadowy region, and the ghost is recognized at all the local fire places as The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow.
It is remarkable that the visionary propensity I have mentioned is not confined to the native inhabitants of the valley, but is unconsciously imbibed by every one who resides there for a time. However wide awake they may have been before they entered that sleepy region, they are sure, in a little time, to inhale the witching influence of the air, and begin to grow imaginative—to dream dreams and see apparitions.
It’s amazing that the visionary tendency I mentioned isn’t limited to the local residents of the valley; everyone who stays there for a while unintentionally picks it up. No matter how alert they were before arriving in that sleepy area, they will inevitably absorb the enchanting atmosphere and start to become more imaginative—dreaming dreams and seeing visions.
I mention this peaceful spot with all possible laud; for it is in such little retired Dutch valleys, found here and there embosomed in the great State of New York, that population, manners and customs remain fixed, while the great torrent of migration and improvement, which is making such incessant changes in other parts of this restless country, sweeps by them unobserved. They are like those little nooks of still water which border a rapid stream, where we may see the straw and bubble riding quietly at anchor, or slowly revolving in their mimic harbor, undisturbed by the rush of the passing current. Though many years have elapsed since I trod the drowsy shades of Sleepy Hollow, yet I question whether I should not still find the same trees and the same families vegetating in its sheltered bosom.
I mention this peaceful spot with all the praise it deserves; it's in these little secluded Dutch valleys, nestled here and there within the vast State of New York, that the population, customs, and ways of life stay unchanged, while the massive wave of migration and development, which is causing constant shifts in other parts of this restless country, rushes by unnoticed. They are like those small calm pools of still water alongside a fast-moving stream, where we can see straw and bubbles floating quietly at rest, or slowly turning in their tranquil harbor, undisturbed by the flow of the passing current. Even though many years have passed since I walked through the sleepy shades of Sleepy Hollow, I wonder if I would still find the same trees and the same families thriving in its sheltered embrace.
In this by-place of nature there abode, in a remote period of American history, that is to say, some thirty years since, a worthy wight of the name of Ichabod Crane, who sojourned, or, as he expressed it, "tarried," in Sleepy Hollow, for the purpose of instructing the children of the vicinity. He was a native of Connecticut, a State which supplies the Union with pioneers for the mind as well as for the forest, and sends forth yearly its legions of frontier woodmen and country schoolmasters.
In this secluded part of nature, there lived, about thirty years ago in American history, a noteworthy guy named Ichabod Crane, who spent some time— or as he put it, "tarried"— in Sleepy Hollow to teach the local children. He was from Connecticut, a state known for producing both intellectual pioneers and forest explorers, sending out its share of frontier woodsmen and country schoolteachers each year.
The cognomen of Crane was not inapplicable to his person. He was tall, but exceedingly lank, with narrow shoulders, long arms and legs, hands that dangled a mile out of his sleeves, feet that might have served for shovels, and his whole frame most loosely hung together. His head was small and flat at top, with huge ears, large green glassy eyes, and a long snipe nose, so that it looked like a weathercock perched upon his spindle neck to tell which way the wind blew. To see him striding along the profile of a hill on a windy day, with his clothes bagging and fluttering about him, one might have mistaken him for the genius of famine descending upon the earth, or some scarecrow eloped from a cornfield.
The name Crane really fit him. He was tall but extremely skinny, with narrow shoulders, long arms and legs, hands that hung way out of his sleeves, and feet that could have worked as shovels. His whole body was loosely put together. He had a small, flat head with big ears, large green glassy eyes, and a long, pointed nose, making it look like a weather vane on his slender neck, trying to figure out which way the wind was blowing. Watching him stride along the edge of a hill on a windy day, with his clothes sagging and fluttering around him, you might mistake him for the spirit of hunger coming down to Earth, or some scarecrow that had escaped from a cornfield.
His schoolhouse was a low building of one large room, rudely constructed of logs, the windows partly glazed and partly patched with leaves of copy-books. It was most ingeniously secured at vacant hours by a withe twisted in the handle of the door, and stakes set against the window-shutters; so that, though a thief might get in with perfect case, he would find some embarrassment in getting out—an idea most probably borrowed by the architect, Yost Van Houten, from the mystery of an ellpot. The schoolhouse stood in a rather lonely but pleasant situation, just at the foot of a woody hill, with a brook running close by and a formidable birch-tree growing at one end of it. From hence the low murmur of his pupils' voices, conning over their lessons, might be heard of a drowsy summer's day, like the hum of a beehive; interrupted now and then by the authoritative voice of the master in the tone of menace or command; or, peradventure, by the appalling sound of the birch, as he urged some tardy loiterer along the flowery path of knowledge. Truth to say, he was a conscientious man, that ever bore in mind the golden maxim, "spare the rod and spoil the child."—Ichabod Crane's scholars certainly were not spoiled.
His schoolhouse was a simple one-story building with a big open room, roughly made of logs. The windows were partly glass and partly covered with pages from old notebooks. It was cleverly secured during empty hours with a twisted branch on the door handle and stakes against the window shutters; so that while a thief could easily get in, they would struggle to get out—an idea likely picked up by the builder, Yost Van Houten, from some clever design. The schoolhouse was in a rather quiet but nice spot, right at the base of a wooded hill, with a stream running nearby and a big birch tree at one end of it. On lazy summer days, you could hear the soft murmur of the students reciting their lessons, like the buzz of a beehive; occasionally interrupted by the commanding voice of the teacher, either threatening or instructing; or perhaps by the frightening sound of the birch as he urged some slow student along the path to knowledge. To be honest, he was a dedicated man who always remembered the wise saying, "spare the rod and spoil the child." Ichabod Crane's students were definitely not spoiled.
I would not have it imagined, however, that he was one of those cruel potentates of the school who joy in the smart of their subjects; on the contrary, he administered justice with discrimination rather than severity, taking the burden off the backs of the weak and laying it on those of the strong. Your mere puny stripling, that winced at the least flourish of the rod, was passed by with indulgence; but the claims of justice were satisfied by inflicting a double portion on some little, tough, wrong headed, broad-skirted Dutch urchin, who sulked and swelled and grew dogged and sullen beneath the birch. All this he called "doing his duty by their parents"; and he never inflicted a chastisement without following it by the assurance, so consolatory to the smarting urchin, that "he would remember it and thank him for it the longest day he had to live."
I never would have imagined, though, that he was one of those cruel school leaders who take pleasure in the pain of their students; on the contrary, he enforced discipline with a sense of fairness rather than harshness, easing the burden on the weak and putting it on the strong. Your typical frail kid, who flinched at the slightest swat, was treated with kindness; but the demands of justice were met by giving a heavier punishment to some tough, stubborn, broad-shouldered Dutch kid, who would sulk and swell up, acting all defiant and grumpy under the birch. He called all this "doing his duty by their parents"; and he never punished anyone without assuring the sore kid that "he would remember it and thank him for it for as long as he lived."
When school hours were over, he was even the companion and playmate of the larger boys; and on holyday afternoons would convoy some of the smaller ones home, who happened to have pretty sisters, or good housewives for mothers, noted for the comforts of the cupboard. Indeed, it behooved him to keep on good terms with his pupils. The revenue arising from his school was small, and would have been scarcely sufficient to furnish him with daily bread, for he was a huge feeder, and, though lank, had the dilating powers of an anaconda; but to help out his maintenance, he was, according to country custom in those parts, boarded and lodged at the houses of the farmers whose children he instructed. With these he lived successively a week at a time, thus going the rounds of the neighborhood with all his worldly effects tied up in a cotton handkerchief.
When school was out, he even hung out and played with the older boys; on weekend afternoons, he would walk some of the younger ones home, especially the ones with pretty sisters or good mothers known for their well-stocked kitchens. It was important for him to stay on good terms with his students. The income from his school was low and barely enough to feed him, since he had a big appetite and, despite being skinny, could eat a lot like an anaconda; but to support himself, he followed the local custom of staying at the homes of the farmers whose kids he taught. He would rotate between their houses, staying a week at a time, carrying all his belongings tied up in a cotton handkerchief.
That all this might not be too onerous on the purses of his rustic patrons, who are apt to consider the costs of schooling a grievous burden and schoolmasters as mere drones, he had various ways of rendering himself both useful and agreeable. He assisted the farmers occasionally in the lighter labors of their farms; helped to make hay; mended the fences; took the horses to water; drove the cows from pasture, and cut wood for the winter fire. He laid aside, too, all the dominant dignity and absolute sway with which he lorded it in his little empire, the school, and became wonderfully gentle and ingratiating. He found favor in the eyes of the mothers, by petting the children, particularly the youngest; and like the lion bold, which whilom so magnanimously the lamb did hold, he would sit with a child on one knee and rock a cradle with his foot for whole hours together.
To make things easier on his rural patrons, who often saw the costs of education as a heavy burden and teachers as lazy, he found various ways to be both helpful and pleasant. He occasionally assisted the farmers with lighter tasks on their farms: making hay, fixing the fences, taking the horses to water, driving the cows from pasture, and cutting wood for the winter. He also set aside the authority and control he usually held in his small domain, the school, and became notably kind and friendly. He won the favor of the mothers by doting on the children, especially the youngest ones; like a bold lion who once generously kept the lamb safe, he would sit with a child on his knee and rock a cradle with his foot for hours on end.
In addition to his other vocations, he was the singing-master of the neighborhood, and picked up many bright shillings by instructing the young folks in psalmody. It was a matter of no little vanity to him on Sundays to take his station in front of the church gallery, with a band of chosen singers; where, in his own mind, he completely carried away the palm from the parson. Certain it is, his voice resounded far above all the rest of the congregation, and there are peculiar quavers still to be heard in that church, and which may even be heard half a mile off, quite to the opposite side of the mill-pond, on a still Sunday morning, which are said to be legitimately descended from the nose of Ichabod Crane. Thus by divers little makeshifts, in that ingenious way which is commonly denominated "by hook and by crook," the worthy pedagogue got on tolerably enough, and was thought, by all who understood nothing of the labor of head-work, to have a wonderfully easy life of it.
Besides his other jobs, he was the singing teacher in the neighborhood and made quite a bit of extra cash by teaching the local kids to sing hymns. It was a source of pride for him on Sundays to stand in front of the church balcony with a select group of singers, where he believed he outperformed the pastor. It's true that his voice carried far above the rest of the congregation, and there are unique wobbles still heard in that church that can even be distinguished half a mile away, across the mill-pond, on a quiet Sunday morning, which are said to be directly inherited from Ichabod Crane. So, through various clever tactics, in a way that people usually call "by hook or by crook," the diligent teacher managed to get by decently enough, and everyone who didn't understand the challenges of intellectual work thought he had a remarkably easy life.
The schoolmaster is generally a man of some importance in the female circle of a rural neighborhood; being considered a kind of idle gentleman-like personage, of vastly superior taste and accomplishments to the rough country swains, and, indeed, inferior in learning only to the parson. His appearance, therefore, is apt to occasion some little stir at the tea-table of a farmhouse and the addition of a supernumerary dish of cakes or sweetmeats, or, peradventure, the parade of a silver teapot. Our man of letters, therefore, was peculiarly happy in the smiles of all the country damsels. How he would figure among them in the churchyard, between, services on Sundays! gathering grapes for them from the wild vines that overrun the surrounding trees; reciting for their amusement all the epitaphs on the tombstones, or sauntering, with a whole bevy of them, along the banks of the adjacent mill-pond; while the more bashful country bumpkins hung sheepishly back, envying his superior elegance and address.
The schoolmaster is usually a man of some importance in the social circles of a rural neighborhood; he's seen as a bit of a gentleman, with much better taste and skills than the local farmers, and really only slightly less educated than the local pastor. His presence tends to create a bit of excitement at the farmhouse tea table, often leading to an extra plate of cakes or sweets, or maybe even the display of a silver teapot. Our literary man, then, was especially popular with all the local girls. Just imagine how he would stand out with them in the churchyard between services on Sundays! He'd gather grapes for them from the wild vines that grow on the surrounding trees, read them all the epitaphs on the tombstones for fun, or stroll with a whole group of them along the pond next to the mill, while the more shy local guys hung back awkwardly, wishing they could match his charm and style.
From his half itinerant life, also, he was a kind of traveling gazette, carrying the whole budget of local gossip from house to house, so that his appearance was always greeted with satisfaction. He was, moreover, esteemed by the women as a man of great erudition, for he had read several books quite through, and was a perfect master of Cotton Mather's "History of New England Witchcraft," in which, by the way, he most firmly and potently believed.
From his somewhat nomadic life, he was also like a traveling newspaper, spreading all the local gossip from house to house, so his arrival was always welcomed with joy. Additionally, the women regarded him as a highly educated man, as he had read several books from cover to cover and was a master of Cotton Mather's "History of New England Witchcraft," in which he firmly and wholeheartedly believed.
He was, in fact, an odd mixture of small shrewdness and simple credulity. His appetite for the marvelous, and his powers of digesting it, were equally extraordinary; and both had been increased by his residence in this spell-bound region. No tale was too gross or monstrous for his capacious swallow. It was often his delight, after his school was dismissed in the afternoon, to stretch himself on the rich bed of clover, bordering the little brook that whimpered by his schoolhouse, and there con over old Mather's direful tales, until the gathering dusk of evening made the printed page a mere mist before his eyes. Then, as he wended his way, by swamp and stream and awful woodland, to the farmhouse where he happened to be quartered, every sound of nature, at that witching hour, fluttered his excited imagination: the moan of the whip-poor-will[1] from the hill-side; the boding cry of the tree-toad, that harbinger of storm; the dreary hooting of the screech-owl, or the sudden rustling in the thicket of birds frightened from their roost. The fire-flies, too, which sparkled most vividly in the darkest places, now and then startled him, as one of uncommon brightness would stream across his path; and if, by chance, a huge blockhead of a beetle came winging his blundering flight against him, the poor varlet was ready to give up the ghost, with the idea that he was struck with a witch's token. His only resource on such occasions, either to drown thought or drive away evil spirits, was to sing psalm tunes; and the good people of Sleepy Hollow, as they sat by their doors of an evening, were often filled with awe at hearing his nasal melody, "in linked sweetness long drawn out," floating from the distant hill, or along the dusky road.
He was really a strange mix of being a bit clever and very gullible. His hunger for the extraordinary and his ability to take it all in were equally remarkable; both had grown during his time in this enchanted place. No story was too outrageous or bizarre for him to believe. After school in the afternoon, he loved to lie down on the lush bed of clover beside the little brook that trickled past his schoolhouse, and there he would read old Mather's terrifying tales until the approaching dusk turned the printed words into a blur. As he made his way back to the farmhouse where he was staying, through swamps, streams, and eerie woods, every sound of nature at that magical hour sparked his imagination: the mournful call of the whip-poor-will from the hillside; the ominous cry of the tree-toad, a sign of storms ahead; the gloomy hooting of the screech-owl; or the sudden rustling of birds startled from their perch. The fireflies, which shone most brightly in the darkest spots, sometimes alarmed him when one particularly bright one zipped across his path; and if, by chance, a lumbering beetle flew clumsily at him, he was ready to faint, thinking it was a witch's sign. His only way to cope in those moments, whether to distract himself or ward off evil spirits, was to sing hymn tunes; and the good folks of Sleepy Hollow, sitting on their porches in the evening, were often filled with awe at the sound of his nasal singing, "in linked sweetness long drawn out," drifting from the distant hill or along the shadowy road.
Another of his sources of fearful pleasure was to pass long winter evenings with the old Dutch wives, as they sat spinning by the fire, with a row of apples roasting and sputtering along the hearth, and listen to their marvelous tales of ghosts and goblins, and haunted fields and haunted brooks, and haunted bridges and haunted houses, and particularly of the headless horseman, or galloping Hessian of the Hollow, as they sometimes called him. He would delight them equally by his anecdotes of witchcraft, and of the direful omens and portentous sights and sounds in the air, which prevailed in the earlier times of Connecticut; and would frighten them wofully with speculations upon comets and shooting stars, and with the alarming fact that the world did absolutely turn round, and that they were half the time topsy-turvy!
Another source of fearsome enjoyment for him was spending long winter evenings with the old Dutch women as they sat spinning by the fire, with a row of apples roasting and sputtering on the hearth, listening to their amazing stories of ghosts and goblins, haunted fields and brooks, haunted bridges and houses, and especially the headless horseman, or galloping Hessian of the Hollow, as they sometimes called him. He would equally entertain them with his stories of witchcraft and the dreadful omens and strange sights and sounds that filled the air in the earlier days of Connecticut; and he would frighten them terribly with speculations about comets and shooting stars, and with the alarming truth that the world actually spins around, and that they were often upside down!
But if there was a pleasure in all this, while snugly cuddling in the chimney corner of a chamber that was all of a ruddy glow from the crackling wood fire, and where, of course, no specter dared to show its face, it was dearly purchased by the terrors of his subsequent walk homeward. What fearful shapes and shadows beset his path, amid the dim and ghastly glare of a snowy night!—With what wistful look did he eye every trembling ray of light streaming across the waste fields from some distant window!—How often was he appalled by some shrub covered with snow, which, like a sheeted specter, beset his very path!—How often did he shrink with curdling awe at the sound of his own steps on the frosty crust beneath his feet, and dread to look over his shoulder, lest he should behold some uncouth being tramping close behind him!—and how often was he thrown into complete dismay by some rushing blast, howling among the trees, in the idea that it was the galloping Hessian on one of his nightly scourings!
But if there was any pleasure in all this, while cozying up in the chimney corner of a room glowing from the crackling wood fire, where no ghost would dare to show its face, it was bought at the cost of the fears he faced on his walk home. What terrifying shapes and shadows disrupted his path in the dim and eerie light of a snowy night! With what longing did he look at every flickering beam of light streaming across the empty fields from some distant window! How often was he startled by a snow-covered bush that seemed like a ghost blocking his path! How often did he cringe in fear at the sound of his own footsteps on the frosty ground beneath him, dreading to look over his shoulder in case he saw some strange figure following him! And how often was he thrown into complete panic by a sudden gust of wind howling through the trees, thinking it was the galloping Hessian on one of his nightly hunts!
All these, however, were mere terrors of the night, phantoms of the mind, that walk in darkness: and though he had seen many specters in his time, and had been more than once beset by Satan in divers shapes in his lonely perambulations, yet daylight put an end to all these evils; and he would have passed a pleasant life of it, in despite of the Devil and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole race of witches put together; and that was—a woman.
All these, however, were just fears of the night, illusions of the mind that roam in darkness: and although he had seen many spirits in his time and had been confronted by Satan in various forms during his solitary wanderings, the daylight dispelled all these troubles; he could have enjoyed a happy life despite the Devil and all his schemes if he hadn't encountered a being that brings more confusion to humanity than ghosts, goblins, and all witches combined; and that was—a woman.
Among the musical disciples who assembled, one evening in each week, to receive his instructions in psalmody, was Katrina Van Tassel, the daughter and only child of a substantial Dutch farmer. She was a blooming lass of fresh eighteen; plump as a partridge, ripe and melting and rosy-cheeked as one of her father's peaches, and universally famed, not merely for her beauty, but her vast expectations. She was withal a little of a coquette, as might be perceived even in her dress, which was a mixture of ancient and modern fashions, as most suited to set off her charms. She wore the ornaments of pure yellow gold which her great-great-grandmother had brought over from Saardam; the tempting stomacher of the olden time, and withal a provokingly short petticoat, to display the prettiest foot and ankle in the country round.
Among the musical followers who gathered each week for his lessons in singing, was Katrina Van Tassel, the daughter and only child of a well-off Dutch farmer. She was a lively girl of eighteen; plump as a partridge, ripe, soft, and rosy-cheeked like one of her father's peaches, and widely admired not just for her beauty, but also for her great prospects. She was also a bit of a flirt, which was evident even in her outfit, a blend of old and new styles that showcased her charms perfectly. She wore the pure yellow gold jewelry that her great-great-grandmother had brought over from Saardam; the alluring bodice from the past, along with a teasingly short skirt that showed off the prettiest foot and ankle in the entire area.
Ichabod Crane had a soft and foolish heart toward the sex; and it is not to be wondered at that so tempting a morsel soon found favor in his eyes, more especially after he had visited her in her paternal mansion. Old Baltus Van Tassel was a perfect picture of a thriving, contented, liberal-hearted farmer. He seldom, it is true, sent either his eyes or his thoughts beyond the boundaries of his own farm; but within these, everything was snug, happy, and well-conditioned. He was satisfied with his wealth, but not proud of it; and piqued himself upon the hearty abundance, rather than the style in which he lived. His stronghold was situated on the banks of the Hudson, in one of those green, sheltered, fertile nooks in which the Dutch farmers are so fond of nestling. A great elm-tree spread its broad branches over it, at the foot of which bubbled up a spring of the softest and sweetest water, in a little well formed of a barrel, and then stole sparkling away through the grass, to a neighboring brook that babbled along among alders and dwarf willows. Hard by the farmhouse was a vast barn that might have served for a church, every window and crevice of which seemed bursting forth with the treasures of the farm; the flail was busily resounding within it from morning to night; swallows and martins skimmed twittering about the eaves; and rows of pigeons, some with one eye turned up, as if watching the weather, some with their heads under their wings, or buried in their bosoms, and others, swelling, and cooing, and bowing about their dames, were enjoying the sunshine on the roof. Sleek, unwieldy porkers were grunting in the repose and abundance of their pens, from whence sallied forth, now and then, troops of sucking pigs, as if to snuff the air. A stately squadron of snowy geese were riding in an adjoining pond, convoying whole fleets of ducks; regiments of turkeys were gobbling through the farmyard, and guinea-fowls fretting about it like ill-tempered housewives, with their peevish, discontented cry. Before the barn door strutted the gallant cock, that pattern of a husband, a warrior and a fine gentleman, clapping his burnished wings and crowing in the pride and gladness of his heart—sometimes tearing up the earth with his feet, and then generously calling his ever-hungry family of wives and children to enjoy the rich morsel which he had discovered.
Ichabod Crane had a soft and foolish heart when it came to women, so it's no surprise that such an enticing opportunity quickly caught his attention, especially after he visited her at her family's home. Old Baltus Van Tassel was the perfect image of a successful, happy, and generous farmer. It’s true he rarely looked beyond the limits of his own farm, but within those boundaries, everything was cozy, joyful, and well-kept. He was content with his wealth but not boastful about it; he took pride in the hearty abundance of his life rather than the way he lived. His home was on the banks of the Hudson River, nestled in one of those green, sheltered, fertile spots that Dutch farmers love. A large elm tree spread its wide branches over the property, with a sparkling spring of the softest, sweetest water bubbling up at its base from a barrel well, then trickling away through the grass to a nearby brook that babbled along among alders and dwarf willows. Close to the farmhouse was a huge barn that could have served as a church, every window and crevice bursting with the farm's treasures; the sound of the flail echoed inside from morning until night; swallows and martins flitted around the eaves; and rows of pigeons, some with one eye turned up as if checking the weather, some with their heads tucked under their wings or buried in their feathers, and others strutting, cooing, and bowing to their mates, enjoyed the sunshine on the roof. Fat, lazy pigs grunted in the comfort of their pens, from which groups of piglets occasionally emerged, sniffing the air. A majestic flock of snowy geese floated in a nearby pond, escorting entire fleets of ducks; turkeys gobbled in the farmyard, while guinea fowl scurried around like cranky housewives, making their disgruntled sounds. In front of the barn door strutted the proud rooster, the ideal husband, warrior, and gentleman, flapping his shiny wings and crowing with joy and pride—sometimes scratching up the ground with his feet, then generously calling his always-hungry family of wives and chicks to share the tasty treasure he had found.
The pedagogue's mouth watered as he looked upon this sumptuous promise of luxurious winter fare. In his devouring mind's eye, he pictured to himself every roasting pig running about, with a pudding in its belly and an apple in its mouth; the pigeons were snugly put to bed in a comfortable pie and tucked in with a coverlet of crust; the geese were swimming in their own gravy, and the ducks pairing cosily in dishes, like snug married couples, with a decent competency of onion sauce. In the porkers he saw carved out the future sleek side of bacon and juicy relishing ham; not a turkey, but he beheld daintily trussed up, with its gizzard under its wing, and, peradventure, a necklace of savory sausages; and even bright chanticleer himself lay sprawling on his back, in a side dish, with uplifted claws, as if craving that quarter which his chivalrous spirit disdained to ask while living.
The teacher's mouth watered as he looked at this tempting promise of delicious winter food. In his hungry imagination, he pictured every roasting pig running around with a pudding in its belly and an apple in its mouth; the pigeons were snuggly tucked into a cozy pie with a crusty cover; the geese were swimming in their own gravy, and the ducks were pairing up nicely in dishes, like happily married couples, served with a good amount of onion sauce. In the pigs, he envisioned the future smooth side of bacon and juicy ham; not just a turkey, but one delicately tied up, with its gizzard tucked under its wing, and perhaps a necklace of tasty sausages; and even the proud rooster lay sprawled on his back in a side dish, with his claws raised, as if asking for the part he never dared to request while he was alive.
As the enraptured Ichabod fancied all this, and as he rolled his great green eyes over the fat meadow lands, the rich fields of wheat, of rye, of buckwheat and Indian corn, and the orchards burdened with ruddy fruit, which surrounded the warm tenement of Van Tassel, his heart yearned after the damsel who was to inherit these domains, and his imagination expanded with the idea how they might be readily turned into cash, and the money invested in immense tracts of wild land and shingle palaces in the wilderness. Nay, his busy fancy already realized his hopes, and presented to him the blooming Katrina, with a whole family of children, mounted on the top of a wagon loaded with household trumpery, with pots and kettles dangling beneath; and he beheld himself bestriding a pacing mare, with a colt at her heels, setting out for Kentucky, Tennessee—or the Lord knows where!
As the captivated Ichabod imagined all this, and as he gazed with his large green eyes over the lush meadows, the abundant fields of wheat, rye, buckwheat, and corn, along with the orchards heavy with ripe fruit surrounding the warm home of Van Tassel, his heart longed for the young woman who was set to inherit these lands. His mind raced with thoughts of how they could easily be turned into money, which he could then invest in vast stretches of wilderness and charming homes in the countryside. His vivid imagination had already brought his dreams to life, showing him the lovely Katrina with a whole bunch of kids, sitting atop a wagon filled with household items, with pots and pans hanging underneath. He pictured himself riding a trotting mare with a colt following behind, setting off for Kentucky, Tennessee—or who knows where!
When he entered the house, the conquest of his heart was complete. It was one of those spacious farmhouses, with high-ridged, but lowly-sloping roofs, built in the style handed down from the first Dutch settlers. The low projecting eaves forming a piazza along the front capable of being closed up in bad weather. Under this were hung flails, harness, various utensils of husbandry, and nets for fishing in the neighboring river. Benches were built along the sides for summer use; and a great spinning-wheel at one end and a churn at the other showed the various uses to which this important porch might be devoted. From this piazza the wonderful Ichabod entered the hall, which formed the center of the mansion, and the place of usual residence. Here, rows of resplendent pewter, ranged on a long dresser, dazzled his eyes. In one corner stood a huge bag of wool, ready to be spun; in another, a quantity of linsey-woolsey just from the loom; ears of Indian corn and strings of dried apples and peaches hung in gay festoons along the walls, mingled with the gaud of red peppers; and a door left ajar gave him a peep into the best parlor, where the claw-footed chairs, and dark mahogany tables, shone like mirrors; andirons, with their accompanying shovel and tongs, glistened from their covert of asparagus tops; mock-oranges and conch shells decorated the mantel-piece; strings of various colored birds' eggs were suspended above it; a great ostrich egg was hung from the center of the room, and a corner cupboard, knowingly left open, displayed immense treasures of old silver and well-mended china.
When he walked into the house, he was completely captivated. It was one of those spacious farmhouses with high, steep roofs that had a gentle slope, built in the style passed down from the first Dutch settlers. The low overhanging eaves created a porch in front that could be closed off during bad weather. Underneath, there were flails, harnesses, various farming tools, and fishing nets for the nearby river. Benches were set up along the sides for summer use, and a large spinning wheel at one end and a churn at the other showed the many ways this important porch could be used. From this porch, the wonderful Ichabod entered the hall, which was the center of the house and where people usually gathered. Here, rows of shiny pewter displayed on a long dresser dazzled his eyes. In one corner, a huge bag of wool was ready to be spun; in another corner, freshly loomed linsey-woolsey fabric was piled up; ears of Indian corn and strings of dried apples and peaches hung in colorful garlands along the walls, mixed with bright red peppers; and a door left slightly open offered him a glimpse into the best parlor, where claw-footed chairs and dark mahogany tables shone like mirrors; andirons, along with a shovel and tongs, gleamed from their hiding place among asparagus tops; mock oranges and conch shells adorned the mantel; strings of differently colored birds' eggs were hung above it; a big ostrich egg was suspended from the center of the room, and a corner cupboard, purposely left ajar, showcased an impressive collection of antique silver and well-preserved china.
From the moment Ichabod laid his eyes upon these regions of delight, the peace of his mind was at an end, and his only study was how to gain the affections of the peerless daughter of Van Tassel. In this enterprise, however, he had more real difficulties than generally fell to the lot of a knight-errant of yore, who seldom had anything but giants, enchanters, fiery dragons, and such like easily conquered adversaries, to contend with; and had to make his way merely through gates of iron and brass and walls of adamant to the castle-keep, where the lady of his heart was confined; all which he achieved as easily as a man would carve his way to the center of a Christmas pie, and then the lady gave him her hand as a matter of course. Ichabod, on the contrary, had to win his way to the heart of a country coquette, beset with a labyrinth of whims and caprices, which were forever presenting new difficulties and impediments, and he had to encounter a host of fearful adversaries of real flesh and blood, the numerous rustic admirers who beset every portal to her heart; keeping a watchful and angry eye upon each other, but ready to fly out in the common cause against any new competitor.
From the moment Ichabod set his eyes on these beautiful lands, he lost all peace of mind, and his only focus was how to win the affection of the exquisite daughter of Van Tassel. In this quest, however, he faced far more genuine challenges than what a knight-errant of old typically encountered, who usually dealt with nothing but giants, wizards, fire-breathing dragons, and other easily defeated foes. They simply had to pass through gates of iron and walls of stone to reach the castle where the lady they loved was held captive, which they accomplished as easily as someone would slice through a Christmas pie, and then the lady would give them her hand without a second thought. Ichabod, on the other hand, had to navigate his way to the heart of a local coquette, tangled in a maze of whims and fancies that constantly threw up new challenges and obstacles. He also had to face a whole bunch of real-life rivals: the many local admirers who surrounded every entrance to her heart, each keeping a watchful and resentful eye on one another but ready to team up against any new challenger.
Among these, the most formidable was a burly, roaring, roistering blade, of the name of Abraham, or, according to the Dutch abbreviation, Brom Van Brunt, the hero of the country round, which rung with his feats of strength and hardihood. He was broad-shouldered and double-jointed, with short curly black hair, and a bluff, but not unpleasant countenance, having a mingled air of fun and arrogance. From his Herculean frame and great powers of limb, he had received the nickname of Brom Bones, by which he was universally known. He was famed for great knowledge and skill in horsemanship, being as dexterous on horseback as a Tartar. He was foremost at all races and cock-fights, and with the ascendency which bodily strength always acquires in rustic life, was the umpire in all disputes, setting his hat on one side, and giving his decisions with an air and tone that admitted of no gainsay or appeal. He was always ready for either a fight or a frolic; had more mischief than ill-will in his composition; and, with all his overbearing roughness, there was a strong dash of waggish good-humor at bottom. He had three or four boon companions of his own stamp, who regarded him as their model, and at the head of whom he scoured the country, attending every scene of feud or merriment for miles round. In cold weather, he was distinguished by a fur cap, surmounted with a flaunting fox's tail; and when the folks at a country gathering descried this well-known crest at a distance, whisking about among a squad of hard riders, they always stood by for a squall. Sometimes his crew would be heard dashing along past the farmhouses at midnight, with whoop and halloo, like a troop of Don Cossacks, and the old dames, startled out of their sleep, would listen for a moment till the hurry-scurry had clattered by, and then exclaim, "Ay, there goes Brom Bones and his gang!" The neighbors looked upon him with a mixture of awe, admiration, and good-will; and when any madcap prank or rustic brawl occurred in the vicinity, always shook their heads, and warranted Brom Bones was at the bottom of it.
Among these, the most imposing was a burly, loud, boisterous guy named Abraham, or, as the Dutch abbreviation goes, Brom Van Brunt, a local hero whose feats of strength and bravery were the talk of the town. He was broad-shouldered and double-jointed, with short curly black hair, and a rough but not unpleasant face, giving off a mix of humor and arrogance. Thanks to his Herculean build and incredible physical abilities, he earned the nickname Brom Bones, which he was widely known by. He was famous for his expertise in horseback riding, as skilled in the saddle as a Tartar. He was always at the front of races and cock-fights, and with the natural authority that physical strength commands in rural life, he acted as the final word in all arguments, tilting his hat to one side and delivering his verdicts with an air and tone that allowed no disagreement. He was always up for a fight or a good time, full of mischief more than malice; and despite his overbearing roughness, he had a strong streak of playful good humor. He had three or four close buddies who were just like him, looking up to him as their role model, and together they roamed the countryside, showing up at every feud or celebration for miles around. In the colder months, he stood out with a fur cap topped with a flashy fox's tail, and when the folks at a country gathering spotted this familiar symbol from afar, darting around among a group of hard riders, they always braced themselves for some excitement. Sometimes his crew could be heard racing past the farmhouses at midnight, shouting and whooping like a band of Don Cossacks, causing the old ladies, startled awake, to pause and listen until the noise faded, then say, "Yep, that's Brom Bones and his gang!" The neighbors viewed him with a mix of respect, admiration, and fondness; and whenever any wild prank or brawl broke out nearby, they would shake their heads and swear that Brom Bones was behind it all.
This rantipole hero had for some time singled out the blooming Katrina for the object of his uncouth gallantries, and though his amorous toyings were something like the gentle caresses and endearments of a bear, yet it was whispered that she did not altogether discourage his hopes. Certain it is, his advances were signals for rival candidates to retire, who felt no inclination to cross a lion in his amours; insomuch, that when his horse was seen tied to Van Tassel's paling, on a Sunday night, a sure sign that his master was courting, or, as it is termed, "sparking," within, all other suitors passed by in despair and carried the war into other quarters.
This wild hero had for some time chosen the enchanting Katrina as the target of his awkward advances, and even though his clumsy attempts at romance were akin to the rough affection of a bear, it was rumored that she didn't completely dismiss his chances. It's true that his efforts made other suitors back off, as they had no desire to compete with a lion in love; so much so that when his horse was spotted tied to Van Tassel's fence on a Sunday night, a clear indication that he was courting—or, as it’s called, "sparking"—inside, all other hopefuls would walk away in defeat and seek opportunities elsewhere.
Such was the formidable rival with whom Ichabod Crane had to contend, and considering all things, a stouter man than he would have shrunk from the competition, and a wiser man would have despaired. He had, however, a happy mixture of pliability and perseverance in his nature; he was in form and spirit like a supple-jack—yielding, but tough; though he bent, he never broke; and though he bowed beneath the slightest pressure, yet, the moment it was away—jerk!—he was as erect and carried his head as high as ever.
Such was the tough competitor Ichabod Crane had to face, and looking at the situation, even a stronger man would have backed down from the challenge, and a smarter man would have lost hope. He did, however, have a great blend of flexibility and determination in his character; he was in body and spirit like a flexible vine—adaptable, but strong; although he bent, he never snapped; and while he bowed under the slightest strain, as soon as it was gone—snap!—he was upright again and held his head high as always.
To have taken the field openly against his rival would have been madness; for he was not a man to be thwarted in his amours, any more than that stormy lover, Achilles. Ichabod, therefore, made his advances in a quiet and gently-insinuating manner. Under cover of his character of singing-master, he made frequent visits at the farmhouse; not that he had anything to apprehend from the meddlesome interference of parents, which is so often a stumbling-block in the path of lovers. Balt Van Tassel was an easy indulgent soul; he loved his daughter better even than his pipe, and like a reasonable man, and an excellent father, let her have her way in everything. His notable little wife, too, had enough to do to attend to her housekeeping and manage the poultry; for, as she sagely observed, ducks and geese are foolish things, and must be looked after, but girls can take care of themselves. Thus, while the busy dame bustled about the house, or plied her spinning-wheel at one end of the piazza, honest Balt would sit smoking his evening pipe at the other, watching the achievements of a little wooden warrior, who, armed with a sword in each hand, was most valiantly fighting the wind on the pinnacle of the barn. In the meantime, Ichabod would carry on his suit with the daughter by the side of the spring under the great elm, or sauntering along in the twilight, that hour so favorable to the lover's eloquence.
To have openly challenged his rival would have been crazy; after all, he was not someone to let his love life be interrupted, just like that passionate lover, Achilles. So, Ichabod approached things quietly and subtly. Under the guise of being a singing teacher, he made frequent visits to the farmhouse; not that he worried about any meddling parents, which often gets in the way of lovers. Balt Van Tassel was an easygoing guy; he loved his daughter even more than his pipe, and like a reasonable man and a great father, he let her do as she pleased. His smart little wife, too, had her hands full with housework and taking care of the chickens; since, as she wisely noted, ducks and geese are silly creatures that need attention, but girls can handle themselves. So, while the busy woman bustled around the house or worked her spinning wheel at one end of the porch, good-hearted Balt sat at the other end smoking his evening pipe, watching a little wooden soldier, armed with a sword in each hand, bravely battling the wind on top of the barn. Meanwhile, Ichabod would pursue his interest in the daughter by the spring under the big elm tree, or strolling together in the twilight, that time so perfect for a lover's sweet talk.
I profess not to know how women's hearts are wooed and won. To me they have always been matters of riddle and admiration. Some seem to have but one vulnerable point, or door of access; while others have a thousand avenues, and may be captured in a thousand different ways. It is a great triumph of skill to gain the former, but a still greater proof of generalship to maintain possession of the latter, for a man must battle for his fortress at every door and window. He that wins a thousand common hearts, is therefore entitled to some renown; but he who keeps undisputed sway over the heart of a coquette, is indeed a hero. Certain it is, this was not the case with the redoubtable Brom Bones; and from the moment Ichabod Crane made his advances, the interests of the former evidently declined: his horse was no longer seen tied at the palings on Sunday nights, and a deadly feud gradually arose between him and the preceptor of Sleepy Hollow.
I honestly don't know how to win a woman's heart. To me, they have always been a puzzle and a source of admiration. Some seem to have just one weak spot or entrance; while others have a thousand ways in and can be won over in countless different manners. It's quite a feat to win the former, but an even greater challenge to keep hold of the latter, as a man has to defend his stronghold at every door and window. Someone who captures a thousand ordinary hearts deserves some recognition; but the one who maintains control over a flirtatious woman's heart is truly a hero. It's clear, though, that this wasn't the case for the formidable Brom Bones; and from the moment Ichabod Crane made his move, Brom's chances noticeably faded: his horse was no longer tied up at the fence on Sunday nights, and a fierce rivalry gradually developed between him and the teacher of Sleepy Hollow.
Brom, who had a degree of rough chivalry in his nature, would fain have carried matters to open warfare, and settled their pretensions to the lady according to the mode of those most concise and simple reasoners, the knights-errant of yore—by single combat; but Ichabod was too conscious of the superior might of his adversary to enter the lists against him; he had overheard the boast of Bones, that he would "double the schoolmaster up, and put him on a shelf"; and he was too wary to give him an opportunity. There was something extremely provoking in this obstinately pacific system; it left Brom no alternative but to draw upon the funds of rustic waggery in his disposition, and to play off boorish practical jokes upon his rival. Ichabod became the object of whimsical persecution to Bones and his gang of rough riders. They harried his hitherto peaceful domains; smoked out his singing-school, by stopping up the chimney; broke into the schoolhouse at night, in spite of its formidable fastenings of withe and window stakes, and turned everything topsy-turvy; so that the poor schoolmaster began to think all the witches in the country held their meetings there. But what was still more annoying, Brom took all opportunities of turning him into ridicule in presence of his mistress, and had a scoundrel dog whom he taught to whine in the most ludicrous manner, and introduced as a rival of Ichabod's, to instruct her in psalmody.
Brom, who had a rough sense of chivalry, wanted to escalate things to open conflict and settle their claims to the lady like the straightforward knights of old—through a one-on-one fight. But Ichabod was too aware of Brom's strength to challenge him. He had overheard Bones bragging that he would "fold the schoolmaster up and put him on a shelf," and he was smart enough not to give him that chance. This stubbornly peaceful approach was incredibly frustrating for Brom, leaving him no choice but to tap into his rural humor and play crude practical jokes on his rival. Ichabod became the target of Bones and his gang's silly harassment. They disrupted his previously calm life, smoked him out of his singing school by blocking the chimney, broke into the schoolhouse at night despite its strong locks and window bars, and turned everything upside down; the poor schoolmaster began to think all the witches in the area were gathering there. But what was even more irritating was that Brom took every chance to mock him in front of his love and had a mischievous dog that he trained to whine absurdly, presenting it as a rival to Ichabod, so he could teach her psalm singing.
In this way, matters went on for some time, without producing any material effect on the relative situations of the contending powers. On a fine autumnal afternoon, Ichabod, in pensive mood, sat enthroned on the lofty stool from whence he usually watched all the concerns of his little literary realm. In his hand he swayed a ferule, that scepter of despotic power; the birch of justice reposed on three nails, behind the throne, a constant terror to evil doers; while on the desk before him might be seen sundry contraband articles and prohibited weapons, detected upon the persons of idle urchins, such as half-munched apples, popguns, whirligigs, fly-cages, and whole legions of rampant little paper game-cocks. Apparently there had been some appalling act of justice recently inflicted, for his scholars were all busily intent upon their books, or slyly whispering behind them with one eye kept upon the master; and a kind of buzzing stillness reigned throughout the schoolroom. It was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of a negro in tow-cloth jacket and trousers, a round crowned fragment of a hat, like the cap of Mercury, and mounted on the back of a ragged, wild, half-broken colt, which he managed with a rope by way of halter. He came clattering up to the school door with an invitation to Ichabod to attend a merry-making, or "quilting frolic," to be held that evening at Mynheer Van Tassel's; and having delivered his message with that air of importance, and effort at fine language, which a negro is apt to display on petty embassies of the kind, he dashed over the brook, and was seen scampering away up the hollow, full of the importance and hurry of his mission.
In this way, things continued for a while, without significantly changing the positions of the rival powers. On a beautiful autumn afternoon, Ichabod, deep in thought, sat proudly on the tall stool from which he usually oversaw his little literary kingdom. In his hand, he held a ferule, that symbol of absolute power; the birch of justice hung on three nails behind the throne, a constant source of fear for wrongdoers; while on the desk in front of him lay various contraband items and prohibited tools confiscated from mischievous kids, such as half-eaten apples, popguns, spinning tops, fly-cages, and a whole army of wild little paper roosters. It seemed there had been a serious punishment recently, as his students were all focused on their books or quietly whispering behind them while keeping a cautious eye on the teacher; a sort of buzzing silence filled the classroom. This was suddenly broken by the arrival of a Black boy in a tow-cloth jacket and pants, wearing a small, round hat resembling Mercury’s cap, riding on the back of a scruffy, wild, half-tamed colt, which he controlled with a rope as a halter. He clattered up to the school door with an invitation for Ichabod to join a festive gathering, or "quilting party," planned for that evening at Mynheer Van Tassel's. After delivering his message with the importance and flair typical of a messenger on such trivial errands, he dashed over the brook and was seen hastily making his way up the hollow, full of excitement and urgency about his mission.
All was now bustle and hubbub in the late quiet schoolroom. The scholars were hurried through their lessons, without stopping at trifles; those who were nimble skipped over half with impunity, and those who were tardy had a smart application now and then in the rear, to quicken their speed, or help them over a tall word. Books were flung aside, without being put away on the shelves; inkstands were overturned, benches thrown down, and the whole school was turned loose an hour before the usual time; bursting forth like a legion of young imps, yelping and racketing about the green, in joy at their early emancipation.
The schoolroom, usually so quiet, was now filled with noise and chaos. The students raced through their lessons, ignoring the small details; those who were quick managed to skip over half the work without consequence, while the slower ones occasionally got a sharp reminder from behind to pick up the pace or to help them tackle a difficult word. Books were tossed aside instead of being returned to the shelves; inkpots were knocked over, benches were flipped, and the entire school was let out an hour early, bursting out like a crowd of mischievous kids, shouting and playing on the lawn, thrilled by their unexpected freedom.
The gallant Ichabod now spent at least an extra half-hour at his toilet, brushing and furbishing up his best, and indeed only suit of rusty black, and arranging his looks by a bit of broken looking-glass that hung up in the schoolhouse. That he might make his appearance before his mistress in the true style of a cavalier, he borrowed a horse from the farmer with whom he was domiciliated, a choleric old Dutchman, of the name of Hans Van Ripper, and thus gallantly mounted, issued forth like a knight-errant in quest of adventures. But it is meet I should, in the true spirit of romantic story, give some account of the looks and equipments of my hero and his steed. The animal he bestrode was a broken-down plow-horse that had outlived almost everything but his viciousness. He was gaunt and shagged, with a ewe neck and a head like a hammer; his rusty mane and tail were tangled and knotted with burrs; one eye had lost its pupil, and was glaring and spectral, but the other had the gleam of a genuine devil in it. Still he must have had fire and mettle in his day, if we may judge from his name, which was Gunpowder. He had, in fact, been a favorite steed of his master's, the choleric Van Ripper, who was a furious rider, and had infused, very probably, some of his own spirit into the animal; for, old and broken-down as he looked, there was more of the lurking devil in him than in any young filly in the country.
The brave Ichabod now spent at least an extra half-hour getting ready, brushing and polishing his best, and really only suit of worn black, and adjusting his appearance using a piece of broken mirror that hung up in the schoolhouse. To make a proper entrance before his crush, he borrowed a horse from the farmer he was staying with, a hot-tempered old Dutchman named Hans Van Ripper, and so gallantly mounted, set out like a knight in search of adventures. But it’s only fair that I should, in the true spirit of a romantic story, describe the looks and gear of my hero and his horse. The animal he rode was an old plow-horse that had survived nearly everything but its bad temper. He was thin and shaggy, with a ewe neck and a head like a hammer; his rusty mane and tail were tangled and knotted with burrs; one eye had lost its pupil and was glaring and ghostly, while the other had the glint of a genuine devil in it. Still, he must have had some fire and spirit in his day if we can judge by his name, which was Gunpowder. In fact, he had been a favorite steed of his master, the hot-tempered Van Ripper, who was a fierce rider and probably infused some of his own spirit into the horse; for, old and worn-out as he looked, there was more of the lurking devil in him than in any young filly in the area.
Ichabod was a suitable figure for such a steed. He rode with short stirrups, which brought his knees nearly up to the pommel of the saddle; his sharp elbows stuck out like grasshoppers'; he carried his whip perpendicularly in his hand, like a scepter, and as the horse jogged on, the motion of his arms was not unlike the flapping of a pair of wings. A small wool hat rested on the top of his nose, for so his scanty strip of forehead might be called, and the skirts of his black coat fluttered out almost to the horse's tail. Such was the appearance of Ichabod and his steed as they shambled out of the gate of Hans Van Ripper, and it was altogether such an apparition as is seldom to be met with in broad daylight.
Ichabod was a perfect match for such a horse. He rode with short stirrups that raised his knees almost to the saddle's pommel; his elbows poked out like grasshopper's legs. He held his whip straight up in his hand like a scepter, and as the horse moved along, the motion of his arms looked a lot like flapping wings. A small wool hat sat on the tip of his nose, given how minimal his forehead was, and the tails of his black coat flapped out almost to the horse's tail. This was the sight of Ichabod and his horse as they clumsily left Hans Van Ripper's gate, an unusual sight rarely seen in broad daylight.
It was, as I have said, a fine autumnal day; the sky was clear and serene, and nature wore that rich and golden livery which we always associate with the idea of abundance. The forests had put on their sober brown and yellow, while some trees of the tenderer kind had been nipped by the frosts into brilliant dyes of orange, purple, and scarlet. Streaming files of wild ducks began to make their appearance high in the air; the bark of the squirrel might be heard from the groves of beech and hickory-nuts, and the pensive whistle of the quail at intervals from the neighboring stubble-field.
It was, as I said, a beautiful autumn day; the sky was clear and calm, and nature donned that rich golden attire we always link to the idea of abundance. The forests had taken on their muted browns and yellows, while some more delicate trees had been nipped by the frost into vibrant shades of orange, purple, and red. Streams of wild ducks began to appear high in the sky; you could hear the barks of squirrels from the groves of beech and hickory nuts, and the thoughtful whistle of quails at intervals from the nearby stubble field.
The small birds were taking their farewell banquets. In the fullness of their revelry, they fluttered, chirping and frolicking, from bush to bush and tree to tree, capricious from the very profusion and variety around them. There was the honest cock-robin, the favorite game of stripling sportsmen, with its loud querulous note, and the twittering blackbirds flying in sable clouds; and the golden-winged woodpecker, with his crimson crest, his broad black gorget and splendid plumage; and the cedar-bird, with its red-tipped wings and yellow-tipped tail, and its little monteiro cap of feathers; and the blue jay, that noisy coxcomb, in his gay light blue coat and white underclothes, screaming and chattering, nodding, and bobbing, and bowing, and pretending to be on good terms with every songster of the grove.
The small birds were enjoying their farewell parties. In the height of their festivities, they flitted from bush to bush and tree to tree, playful in the abundance and variety around them. There was the honest robin, a favorite game for young hunters, with its loud, complaining call, and the chirping blackbirds flying in dark flocks; and the golden-winged woodpecker, with its bright red crest, broad black throat, and stunning feathers; and the cedar waxwing, with its red-tipped wings and yellow-tipped tail, wearing its little feathered cap; and the blue jay, that loud show-off, in its bright light blue coat and white underparts, screaming, chattering, nodding, bobbing, and bowing, pretending to be friendly with every songbird in the grove.
As Ichabod jogged slowly on his way, his eye, ever open to every symptom of culinary abundance, ranged with delight over the treasures of jolly autumn. On all sides he beheld vast store of apples, some hanging in oppressive opulence on the trees, some gathered into baskets and barrels for the market, others heaped up in rich piles for the cider-press. Further on he beheld great fields of Indian corn, with its golden ears peeping from their leafy coverts and holding out the promise of cakes and hasty-pudding; and the yellow pumpkins lying beneath them, turning up their fair round bellies to the sun, and giving ample prospects of the most luxurious of pies; and anon he passed the fragrant buckwheat fields, breathing the odor of the beehive, and as he beheld them, soft anticipations stole over his mind of dainty slap-jacks, well-buttered, and garnished with honey or treacle, by the delicate little dimpled hand of Katrina Van Tassel.
As Ichabod jogged slowly along his way, his eye, always on the lookout for signs of abundant food, took in the delights of cheerful autumn. All around him, he saw an impressive array of apples, some hanging heavily on the trees, others collected into baskets and barrels for sale, and still others piled high for the cider press. Further along, he spotted vast fields of corn, with golden ears peeking out from their leafy shelters, promising cakes and quick pudding; and the yellow pumpkins lying beneath, exposing their rounded bellies to the sun, hinting at the most delicious pies; and soon he passed by the fragrant buckwheat fields, which smelled like honey, and as he looked at them, soft expectations filled his mind of delicate pancakes, well-buttered and topped with honey or syrup, made by the charming, dimpled hands of Katrina Van Tassel.
Thus feeding his mind with many sweet thoughts and "sugared suppositions," he journeyed along the sides of a range of hills which look out upon some of the goodliest scenes of the mighty Hudson. The sun gradually wheeled his broad disk down into the west. The wide bosom of the Tappaan Zee lay motionless and glassy, excepting that here and there a gentle undulation waved and prolonged the blue shadow of the distant mountain. A few amber clouds floated in the sky, without a breath of air to move them. The horizon was of a fine golden tint, changing gradually into a pure apple green, and from that into the deep blue of the mid-heaven. A slanting ray lingered on the woody crests of the precipices that overhung some parts of the river, giving greater depth to the dark gray and purple of their rocky sides. A sloop was loitering in the distance, dropping slowly down with the tide, her sail hanging uselessly against the mast; and as the reflection of the sky gleamed along the still water, it seemed as if the vessel was suspended in the air.
Thus feeding his mind with many sweet thoughts and "sugared suppositions," he traveled along the hills overlooking some of the most beautiful scenes of the mighty Hudson. The sun gradually lowered itself into the west. The wide surface of the Tappaan Zee was calm and smooth, except for the occasional gentle ripple that extended the blue shadow of the distant mountain. A few amber clouds floated in the sky, untouched by any breeze. The horizon had a lovely golden hue, gradually shifting into a bright apple green, and then into the deep blue of the sky above. A slanting ray lingered on the treetops of the cliffs that towered over some parts of the river, enhancing the dark gray and purple tones of their rocky sides. A sloop drifted in the distance, slowly moving down with the tide, its sail hanging uselessly against the mast; and as the reflection of the sky shimmered on the still water, it looked like the boat was floating in the air.
It was toward evening that Ichabod arrived at the castle of the Heer Van Tassel, which he found thronged with the pride and flower of the adjacent country. Old farmers, a spare leathern-faced race, in homespun coats and breeches, blue stockings, huge shoes, and magnificent pewter buckles. Their brisk, withered little dames, in close crimped caps, long-waisted gowns, homespun petticoats, with scissors and pin-cushions, and gay calico pockets hanging on the outside. Buxom lasses, almost as antiquated as their mothers, excepting where a straw hat, a fine ribbon, or perhaps a white frock, gave symptoms of city innovations. The sons, in short square-skirted coats, with rows of stupendous brass buttons, and their hair generally queued in the fashion of the times, especially if they could procure an eelskin for the purpose, it being esteemed throughout the country as a potent nourisher and strengthener of the hair.
It was towards evening when Ichabod arrived at the castle of Heer Van Tassel, which was packed with the best and brightest of the nearby countryside. Old farmers, a skinny, weathered group, wore homespun coats and breeches, blue stockings, oversized shoes, and impressive pewter buckles. Their lively, wrinkled wives sported close-fitting caps, long-waisted gowns, homespun petticoats, and had scissors and pin-cushions, along with colorful calico pockets hanging on the outside. Plump young women, almost as old-fashioned as their mothers, occasionally displayed a straw hat, a pretty ribbon, or maybe a white dress that hinted at city trends. The young men wore short, square-cut coats adorned with rows of large brass buttons, and their hair was typically styled in queues of the day, especially if they could get their hands on an eelskin, which was regarded in the area as a powerful conditioner for the hair.
Brom Bones, however, was the hero of the scene, having come to the gathering on his favorite steed Daredevil, a creature, like himself, full of mettle and mischief, and which no one but himself could manage. He was, in fact, noted for preferring vicious animals, given to all kinds of tricks which kept the rider in constant risk of his neck, for he held a tractable well-broken horse as unworthy of a lad of spirit.
Brom Bones, on the other hand, was the life of the party, arriving on his favorite horse, Daredevil, a beast just like him—full of energy and trouble, and only he could handle it. He was actually known for choosing crazy animals that were always up to mischief, keeping the rider on edge and in constant danger. To him, a well-behaved, easygoing horse was not fit for a spirited guy like him.
Fain would I pause to dwell upon the world of charms that burst upon the enraptured gaze of my hero, as he entered the state parlor of Van Tassel's mansion. Not those of the bevy of buxom lasses, with their luxurious display of red and white, but the ample charms of a genuine Dutch country tea-table, in the sumptuous time of autumn. Such heaped-up platters of cakes of various and almost indescribable kinds, known only to experienced Dutch housewives! There was the doughty doughnut, the tender oly-koek, and the crisp and crumbling cruller; sweet cakes and short cakes, ginger cakes and honey cakes, and the whole family of cakes. And then there were apple pies, and peach pies, and pumpkin pies; besides slices of ham and smoked beef; and moreover delectable dishes of preserved plums, and peaches, and pears, and quinces; not to mention broiled shad and roasted chickens; together with bowls of milk and cream, all mingled higgledy-piggledy, pretty much as I have enumerated them, with the motherly teapot sending up its clouds of vapor from the midst—Heaven bless the mark! I want breath and time to discuss this banquet as it deserves, and am too eager to get on with my story. Happily, Ichabod Crane was not in so great a hurry as his historian, but did ample justice to every dainty.
I would love to pause and explore the amazing array of delights that captivated my hero as he stepped into the grand parlor of Van Tassel's mansion. Not just the beauties of the group of charming young women with their vibrant displays of red and white, but the wonderful offerings of a real Dutch country tea table during the glorious autumn season. The table was overflowing with a variety of cakes, almost impossible to describe, known only to seasoned Dutch housewives! There were hearty doughnuts, soft oly-koeks, and crisp, crumbly crullers; sweet cakes and shortcakes, ginger cakes and honey cakes, and an entire family of cakes. Then there were apple pies, peach pies, and pumpkin pies; plus slices of ham and smoked beef; and also delicious dishes of preserved plums, peaches, pears, and quinces; not to mention broiled shad and roasted chickens; along with bowls of milk and cream, all mixed together haphazardly, just as I've listed them, with the motherly teapot emitting its clouds of steam from the center—Heaven help me! I need both breath and time to do this feast justice, but I'm too eager to continue with my story. Fortunately, Ichabod Crane wasn't in as much of a rush as I am, and he thoroughly enjoyed every treat.
He was a kind and thankful creature, whose heart dilated in proportion as his skin was filled with good cheer, and whose spirits rose with eating, as some men's do with drink. He could not help, too, rolling his large eyes round him as he ate, and chuckling with the possibility that he might one day be lord of all this scene of almost unimaginable luxury and splendor. Then, he thought, how soon he'd turn his back upon the old schoolhouse; snap his fingers in the face of Hans Van Ripper, and every other niggardly patron, and kick any itinerant pedagogue out of doors that should dare to call him comrade!
He was a kind and grateful guy, whose heart grew bigger as he felt good, and whose spirits lifted with eating, like some men do with drinking. He couldn’t help but roll his big eyes around him as he ate, chuckling at the thought that he might one day own this incredible scene of luxury and splendor. Then, he imagined how quickly he’d leave the old schoolhouse behind, snap his fingers at Hans Van Ripper and all the other stingy patrons, and kick out any traveling teacher who dared to think they were his equal!
Old Baltus Van Tassel moved about among his guests with a face dilated with content and good-humor, round and jolly as the harvest moon. His hospitable attentions were brief, but expressive, being confined to a shake of the hand, a slap on the shoulder, a loud laugh, and a pressing invitation to "fall to and help themselves."
Old Baltus Van Tassel moved among his guests with a face full of happiness and good cheer, round and jolly like the harvest moon. His warm hospitality was quick but meaningful, involving a handshake, a friendly pat on the shoulder, a hearty laugh, and an enthusiastic invitation to "dig in and help yourselves."
And now the sound of the music from the common room, or hall, summoned to the dance. The musician was an old gray-headed negro, who had been the itinerant orchestra of the neighborhood for more than half a century. His instrument was as old and battered as himself. The greater part of the time he scraped away on two or three strings, accompanying every movement of the bow with a motion of the head; bowing almost to the ground, and stamping with his foot whenever a fresh couple were to start.
And now the music from the common room, or hall, called everyone to the dance. The musician was an old gray-haired Black man who had been the traveling orchestra for the neighborhood for over fifty years. His instrument was as old and worn out as he was. Most of the time, he played on two or three strings, moving his head with every stroke of the bow; bowing almost to the ground and stomping his foot whenever a new couple was about to begin.
Ichabod prided himself upon his dancing as much as upon his vocal powers. Not a limb, not a fiber about him was idle; and to have seen his loosely hung frame in full motion, and clattering about the room, you would have thought St. Vitus himself, that blessed patron of the dance, was figuring before you in person. He was the admiration of all the negroes; who, having gathered, of all ages and sizes, from the farm and the neighborhood, stood forming a pyramid of shining black faces at every door and window, gazing with delight at the scene, rolling their white eyeballs, and showing grinning rows of ivory from ear to ear. How could the flogger of urchins be otherwise than animated and joyous?—the lady of his heart was his partner in the dance, and smiling graciously in reply to all his amorous oglings; while Brom Bones, sorely smitten with love and jealousy, sat brooding by himself in one corner.
Ichabod took great pride in his dancing just as much as in his singing. Not a single limb or fiber of his being stood still; if you had seen his loosely built frame moving around the room, you would have thought St. Vitus himself, the celebrated patron of dance, was performing right in front of you. He captivated all the local Black folks, who had gathered from farms and the surrounding area, forming a pyramid of shining black faces at every door and window, watching the scene with joy, their white eyeballs rolling and showing off broad grins of ivory from ear to ear. How could the kid-keeper not be lively and happy?—the lady he adored was his dance partner, smiling back at all his flirty glances; meanwhile, Brom Bones, deeply affected by love and jealousy, sulked alone in a corner.
When the dance was at an end, Ichabod was attracted to a knot of the sager folks, who, with Old Van Tassel, sat smoking at one end of the piazza, gossiping over former times, and drawling out long stories about the war.
When the dance was over, Ichabod was drawn to a group of the older folks, who, with Old Van Tassel, sat smoking at one end of the porch, chatting about the past and dragging out long stories about the war.
This neighborhood, at the time of which I am speaking, was one of those highly favored places which abound with chronicle and great men. The British and American line had run near it during the war; it had, therefore, been the scene of marauding, and infested with refugees, cowboys, and all kind of border chivalry. Just sufficient time had elapsed to enable each story-teller to dress up his tale with a little becoming fiction, and, in the indistinctness of his recollection, to make himself the hero of every exploit.
This neighborhood, during the time I’m talking about, was one of those incredibly lucky places filled with history and notable figures. The British and American line ran close by during the war, so it had seen its share of plundering and was full of refugees, outlaws, and all sorts of frontier bravado. Enough time had passed for each storyteller to embellish their tales with a bit of appealing fiction and, in the blur of their memories, to turn themselves into the hero of every adventure.
There was the story of Doffue Martling, a large blue-bearded Dutchman, who had nearly taken a British frigate with an old iron nine-pounder from a mud breastwork, only that his gun burst at the sixth discharge. And there was an old gentleman who shall be nameless, being too rich a mynheer to be lightly mentioned, who, in the battle of White Plains, being an excellent master of defense, parried a musket-ball with a small-sword, insomuch that he absolutely felt it whiz round the blade and glance off at the hilt; in proof of which he was ready at any time to show the sword, with the hilt a little bent. There were several more that had been equally great in the field, not one of whom but was persuaded that he had a considerable hand in bringing the war to a happy termination.
There was a story about Doffue Martling, a big blue-bearded Dutchman, who almost captured a British frigate with an old iron nine-pounder from a mud fort, only for his gun to burst on the sixth shot. And there was an old gentleman, who shall remain nameless because he was too wealthy to be mentioned casually, who, in the battle of White Plains, being an exceptional swordsman, deflected a musket ball with a small sword, so much so that he actually felt it zip around the blade and bounce off the hilt; he was always ready to show the sword, which had a slightly bent hilt. There were several others who were equally impressive on the battlefield, each of whom was convinced they played a significant role in bringing the war to a successful end.
But all these were nothing to the tales of ghosts and apparitions that succeeded. The neighborhood is rich in legendary treasures of the kind. Local tales and superstitions thrive best in these sheltered long-settled retreats; but are trampled under foot by the shifting throng that forms the population of most of our country places. Besides, there is no encouragement for ghosts in most of our villages, for they have scarcely had time to finish their first nap, and turn themselves in their graves, before their surviving friends have traveled away from the neighborhood: so that when they turn out at night to walk their rounds, they have no acquaintance left to call upon. This is perhaps the reason why we so seldom hear of ghosts except in our long-established Dutch communities.
But all of this was nothing compared to the stories of ghosts and apparitions that followed. The neighborhood is full of legendary treasures like this. Local stories and superstitions thrive best in these quiet, long-settled areas; they get ignored by the ever-changing crowd that makes up most of our rural towns. Plus, there’s no room for ghosts in most of our villages, since they barely finish their first nap and settle in their graves before their remaining friends have moved away. So when they come out at night to walk around, they have no one left to visit. This might be why we rarely hear about ghosts, except in our long-established Dutch communities.
The immediate cause, however, of the prevalence of supernatural stories in these parts was doubtless owing to the vicinity of Sleepy Hollow. There was a contagion in the very air that blew from that haunted region; it breathed forth an atmosphere of dreams and fancies infecting all the land. Several of the Sleepy Hollow people were present at Van Tassel's, and, as usual, were doling out their wild and wonderful legends. Many dismal tales were told about funeral trains, and mourning cries and wailings heard and seen about the great tree where the unfortunate Major André was taken, and which stood in the neighborhood. Some mention was made also of the woman in white, that haunted the dark glen at Raven Rock, and was often heard to shriek on winter nights before a storm, having perished there in the snow. The chief part of the stories, however, turned upon the favorite specter of Sleepy Hollow, the headless horseman, who had been heard several times of late, patrolling the country, and, it is said, tethered his horse nightly among the graves in the churchyard.
The main reason for the popularity of supernatural stories in this area was definitely the close presence of Sleepy Hollow. There was a kind of magic in the very air coming from that haunted place; it created an atmosphere of dreams and fantasies that spread across the land. Several locals from Sleepy Hollow were at Van Tassel's, and, as usual, they were sharing their wild and amazing tales. Many sad stories were shared about funeral trains, and wailing cries heard near the big tree where the unfortunate Major André was captured, which stood nearby. There was also mention of the woman in white who haunted the dark glen at Raven Rock, often heard shrieking on winter nights before a storm, having died there in the snow. However, most of the stories focused on the favorite ghost of Sleepy Hollow, the headless horseman, who had been heard patrolling the area several times recently and was said to tie up his horse each night among the graves in the churchyard.
The sequestered situation of this church seems always to have made it a favorite haunt of troubled spirits. It stands on a knoll, surrounded by locust trees and lofty elms, from among which its decent, whitewashed walls shine modestly forth, like Christian purity, beaming through the shades of retirement. A gentle slope descends from it to a silver sheet of water, bordered by high trees, between which peeps may be caught at the blue hills of the Hudson. To look upon its grass-grown yard, where the sunbeams seem to sleep so quietly, one would think that there at least the dead might rest in peace. On one side of the church extends a wide woody dell, along which raves a large brook among broken rocks and trunks of fallen trees. Over a deep black part of the stream, not far from the church, was formerly thrown a wooden bridge; the road that led to it, and the bridge itself, were thickly shaded by overhanging trees, which cast a gloom about it, even in the daytime; but occasioned a fearful darkness at night. Such was one of the favorite haunts of the headless horseman, and the place where he was most frequently encountered. The tale was told of old Brouwer, a most heretical disbeliever in ghosts, how he met the horseman returning from his foray into Sleepy Hollow, and was obliged to get up behind him; how they galloped over bush and brake, over hill and swamp, until they reached the bridge; when the horseman suddenly turned into a skeleton, threw old Brouwer into the brook, and sprang away over the treetops with a clap of thunder.
The isolated location of this church has always made it a popular spot for troubled spirits. It sits on a hill, surrounded by locust trees and tall elms, from which its neat, whitewashed walls shine modestly, like Christian purity shining through the shadows of solitude. A gentle slope leads down from it to a shimmering body of water, bordered by tall trees, through which glimpses of the blue hills of the Hudson can be caught. Looking at its grassy yard, where the sunlight seems to rest so peacefully, one would think that here at least the dead could find peace. On one side of the church is a wide, wooded ravine, where a large brook rushes over broken rocks and fallen tree trunks. Not far from the church, an old wooden bridge once spanned a deep, dark part of the stream; the road to it and the bridge itself were thickly shaded by overhanging trees, casting a shadow even during the day, but creating utter darkness at night. This was one of the favorite spots of the headless horseman, where he was most often seen. There was a story about old Brouwer, a staunch skeptic of ghosts, who met the horseman on his way back from Sleepy Hollow and ended up riding behind him; they galloped over bushes and briars, hills, and swamps until they reached the bridge, where the horseman suddenly transformed into a skeleton, tossed old Brouwer into the brook, and leaped away over the treetops with a clap of thunder.
This story was immediately matched by a thrice marvelous adventure of Brom Bones, who made light of the galloping Hessian as an arrant jockey. He affirmed that, on returning one night from the neighboring village of Sing Sing, he had been overtaken by this midnight trooper; that he had offered to race with him for a bowl of punch, and should have won it too, for Daredevil beat the goblin horse all hollow, but just as they came to the church bridge the Hessian bolted, and vanished in a flash of fire.
This story was quickly followed by an incredible adventure of Brom Bones, who joked about the galloping Hessian, calling him a complete show-off. He claimed that one night, while coming back from the nearby village of Sing Sing, he was chased by this midnight rider; that he had challenged him to a race for a bowl of punch, and he would have won, since Daredevil totally outpaced the ghostly horse, but just as they reached the church bridge, the Hessian took off and disappeared in a burst of flames.
All these tales, told in that drowsy undertone with which men talk in the dark, the countenances of the listeners only now and then receiving a casual gleam from the glare of a pipe, sunk deep in the mind of Ichabod. He repaid them in kind with large extracts from his invaluable author, Cotton Mather, and added many marvelous events that had taken place in his native State of Connecticut, and fearful sights which he had seen in his nightly walks about Sleepy Hollow.
All these stories, shared in that sleepy voice people use in the dark, with the faces of the listeners occasionally lit up by the glow of a pipe, deeply affected Ichabod. He returned the favor by quoting lengthy passages from his cherished author, Cotton Mather, and added many amazing events that had happened in his home state of Connecticut, along with terrifying sights he had encountered during his late-night strolls in Sleepy Hollow.
The revel now gradually broke up. The old farmers gathered together their families in their wagons, and were heard for some time rattling along the hollow roads, and over the distant hills. Some of the damsels mounted on pillions behind their favorite swains, and their light-hearted laughter, mingling with the clatter of hoofs, echoed along the silent woodlands, sounding fainter and fainter, until they gradually died away—and the late scene of noise and frolic was all silent and deserted. Ichabod only lingered behind, according to the custom of country lovers, to have a tete-a-tete with the heiress, fully convinced that he was now on the high road to success. What passed at this interview I will not pretend to say, for in fact I do not know. Something, however, I fear me, must have gone wrong, for he certainly sallied forth, after no very great interval, with an air quite desolate and chapfallen.—Oh, these women! these women! Could that girl have been playing off any of her coquettish tricks?—Was her encouragement of the poor pedagogue all a mere sham to secure her conquest of his rival?—Heaven only knows, not I!—Let it suffice to say, Ichabod stole forth with the air of one who had been sacking a hen-roost, rather than a fair lady's heart. Without looking to the right or left to notice the scene of rural wealth on which he had so often gloated, he went straight to the stable, and with several hearty cuffs and kicks roused his steed most uncourteously from the comfortable quarters in which he was soundly sleeping, dreaming of mountains of corn and oats, and whole valleys of timothy and clover.
The party slowly started to break up. The older farmers gathered their families into their wagons and could be heard rattling along the bumpy roads and over the distant hills for a while. Some of the young women were riding pillion behind their favorite guys, and their cheerful laughter mixed with the sound of hooves echoed through the quiet woods, fading away until everything was silent and empty again. Ichabod lingered behind, as country lovers often do, hoping for a private moment with the heiress, fully convinced that he was on the path to success. What happened during this meeting, I can’t say for sure, because I honestly don’t know. However, I fear something must have gone wrong, as he definitely left after a short time looking quite miserable and downcast. Oh, these women! Could that girl have been playing her flirty games? Was her encouragement of the poor schoolteacher just a strategy to win over his rival? Heaven only knows, not me! All I can say is Ichabod walked away as if he had just robbed a henhouse instead of winning a lady’s heart. Without glancing around at the picturesque rural scenery he had enjoyed so often, he headed straight to the stable and, with a few rough kicks and shoves, rudely woke his horse from the comfortable sleep in which it was dreaming of mountains of corn and oats, and entire valleys filled with timothy and clover.
It was the very witching time of night that Ichabod, heavy-hearted and crestfallen, pursued his travel homeward, along the sides of the lofty hills which rise above Tarry Town, and which he had traversed so cheerily in the afternoon. The hour was as dismal as himself. Far below him the Tappaan Zee spread its dusky and indistinct waste of waters, with here and there the tall mast of a sloop, riding quietly at anchor under the land. In the dead hush of midnight he could even hear the barking of the watch-dog from the opposite shore of the Hudson; but it was so vague and faint as only to give an idea of his distance from this faithful companion of man. Now and then, too, the long-drawn crowing of a cock, accidentally awakened, would sound far, far off, from some farmhouse away among the hills—but it was like a dreaming sound in his ear. No signs of life occurred near him, but occasionally the melancholy chirp of a cricket, or perhaps the guttural twang of a bullfrog from a neighboring marsh, as if sleeping uncomfortably, and turning suddenly in his bed.
It was the witching hour of the night when Ichabod, feeling down and defeated, made his way home along the steep hills that rise above Tarry Town, which he had joyfully crossed in the afternoon. The hour was as gloomy as he was. Far below him, the Tappaan Zee stretched out its dark and unclear expanse of water, with here and there the tall mast of a sloop quietly anchored by the shore. In the dead silence of midnight, he could even hear the barking of a watch-dog from the opposite side of the Hudson; but it was so faint and distant that it only suggested how far he was from this faithful companion. Occasionally, the long crowing of a rooster, suddenly awakened, would echo from some farmhouse among the hills—but it sounded dreamlike to him. No signs of life were near, just the occasional sad chirp of a cricket, or maybe the deep croak of a bullfrog from a nearby marsh, as if it was uncomfortably shifting in its sleep.
All the stories of ghosts and goblins that he had heard in the afternoon now came crowding upon his recollection. The night grew darker and darker, the stars seemed to sink deeper in the sky, and driving clouds occasionally hid them from his sight. He had never felt so lonely and dismal. He was, moreover, approaching the very place where many of the scenes of the ghost stories had been laid. In the center of the road stood an enormous tulip tree, which towered like a giant above all the other trees of the neighborhood, and formed a kind of landmark. Its limbs were gnarled and fantastic, large enough to form trunks for ordinary trees, twisting down almost to the earth, and rising again into the air. It was connected with the tragical story of the unfortunate André, who had been taken prisoner hard by; and was universally known by the name of Major André's tree. The common people regarded it with a mixture of respect and superstition, partly out of sympathy for the fate of its ill-starred namesake, and partly from the tales of strange sights and doleful lamentations told concerning it.
All the stories about ghosts and goblins he had heard that afternoon rushed back into his mind. The night got darker and darker, the stars seemed to sink lower in the sky, and clouds occasionally covered them from view. He had never felt so lonely and bleak. To make matters worse, he was getting closer to the exact spot where many of those ghost stories took place. In the middle of the road stood a huge tulip tree, towering like a giant above all the other trees in the area and serving as a landmark. Its branches were twisted and strange, thick enough to be trunks for ordinary trees, bending down almost to the ground before rising back up into the air. It was connected to the tragic story of the unfortunate André, who had been captured nearby, and was commonly known as Major André's tree. The locals viewed it with a mix of respect and superstition, partly out of sympathy for the fate of its ill-fated namesake and partly because of the tales of strange sights and sorrowful wails linked to it.
As Ichabod approached this fearful tree he began to whistle; he thought his whistle was answered: it was but a blast sweeping sharply through the dry branches. As he approached a little nearer, he thought he saw something white hanging in the midst of the tree: he paused, and ceased whistling; but, on looking more narrowly, perceived that it was a place where the tree had been scathed by lightning and the white wood laid bare. Suddenly he heard a groan—his teeth chattered, and his knees smote against the saddle: it was but the rubbing of one huge bough upon another, as they were swayed about by the breeze. He passed the tree in safety, but new perils lay before him.
As Ichabod got closer to the eerie tree, he started to whistle; he thought he heard a response, but it was just a gust of wind rushing through the dry branches. When he got a bit closer, he thought he saw something white hanging in the middle of the tree: he stopped and stopped whistling; but, upon taking a closer look, he realized it was a spot where the tree had been struck by lightning, exposing the white wood underneath. Suddenly, he heard a groan—his teeth chattered, and his knees rattled against the saddle: it was just one big branch rubbing against another as they swayed in the breeze. He passed the tree safely, but new dangers awaited him.
About two hundred yards from the tree a small brook crossed the road, and ran into a marshy and thickly wooded glen known by the name of Wiley's Swamp. A few rough logs, laid side by side, served for a bridge over this stream. On that side of the road where the brook entered the wood a group of oaks and chestnuts, matted thick with wild grape-vines, threw a cavernous gloom over it. To pass this bridge was the severest trial. It was at this identical spot that the unfortunate André was captured, and under the covert of those chestnuts and vines were the sturdy yeomen concealed who surprised him. This has ever since been considered a haunted stream, and fearful are the feelings of a schoolboy who has to pass it alone after dark.
About two hundred yards from the tree, a small creek crossed the road and flowed into a marshy, densely wooded valley known as Wiley's Swamp. A few rough logs laid side by side acted as a bridge over this stream. On the side of the road where the creek entered the woods, a group of oaks and chestnuts, tangled thick with wild grapevines, cast a dark shadow over the area. Crossing this bridge was a major challenge. It was at this very spot that the unfortunate André was captured, and hidden beneath those chestnuts and vines were the brave locals who surprised him. Ever since, this stream has been seen as haunted, and a schoolboy who has to cross it alone after dark feels a real sense of fear.
As he approached the stream his heart began to thump; he summoned up, however, all his resolution, gave his horse half a score of kicks in the ribs, and attempted to dash briskly across the bridge; but instead of starting forward, the perverse old animal made a lateral movement, and ran broadside against the fence. Ichabod, whose fears increased with the delay, jerked the reins on the other side, and kicked lustily with the contrary foot. It was all in vain; his steed started, it is true, but it was only to plunge to the opposite side of the road into a thicket of brambles and alder-bushes. The schoolmaster now bestowed both whip and heel upon the starveling ribs of old Gunpowder, who dashed forward, snuffling and snorting, but came to a stand just by the bridge with a suddenness that had nearly sent his rider sprawling over his head. Just at this moment a plashy tramp by the side of the bridge caught the sensitive ear of Ichabod. In the dark shadow of the grove, on the margin of the brook, he beheld something huge, misshapen, black and towering. It stirred not, but seemed gathered up in the gloom, like some gigantic monster ready to spring upon the traveler.
As he got closer to the stream, his heart started to race; he gathered all his courage, kicked his horse in the ribs a few times, and tried to rush across the bridge. But instead of moving forward, the stubborn old horse made a sideways move and crashed into the fence. Ichabod, whose anxiety grew with the delay, pulled the reins on the other side and kicked hard with his other foot. It was pointless; his horse did start moving, but only to dart to the other side of the road and into a thicket of thorns and alder bushes. The schoolmaster then whipped and kicked at the weak ribs of old Gunpowder, who shot forward, snuffling and snorting, but suddenly stopped right by the bridge, almost sending his rider flying over his head. Just then, a squelchy sound by the side of the bridge caught Ichabod's attention. In the dark shade of the grove, at the edge of the brook, he saw something huge, misshapen, black, and towering. It didn’t move, but seemed to be blending into the darkness, like a gigantic monster ready to attack the traveler.
The hair of the affrighted pedagogue rose upon his head with terror. What was to be done? To turn and fly was now too late; and besides, what chance was there of escaping ghost or goblin, if such it was, which could ride upon the wings of the wind? Summoning up, therefore, a show of courage, he demanded in stammering accents—"Who are you?" He received no reply. He repeated his demand in a still more agitated voice. Still there was no answer. Once more he cudgeled the sides of the inflexible Gunpowder, and shutting his eyes, broke forth with involuntary fervor into a psalm tune. Just then the shadowy object of alarm put itself in motion, and with a scramble and a bound stood at once in the middle of the road. Though the night was dark and dismal, yet the form of the unknown might now in some degree be ascertained. He appeared to be a horseman of large dimensions, and mounted on a black horse of powerful frame. He made no offer of molestation or sociability, but kept aloof on one side of the road, jogging along on the blind side of old Gunpowder, who had now got over his fright and waywardness.
The hair of the terrified teacher stood up on his head in fear. What was he supposed to do? Running away was no longer an option; besides, what chance did he have of escaping a ghost or goblin, if that’s what it was, that could ride on the wind? Summoning a bit of courage, he stammered, “Who are you?” He got no response. He repeated his question in an even more frantic voice, but still no answer. He hit the sides of the unyielding Gunpowder again and, closing his eyes, involuntarily burst into a psalm tune. Just then, the shadowy figure of his fear moved and appeared in front of him, suddenly standing in the middle of the road. Though the night was dark and gloomy, he could now somewhat make out the shape of the unknown figure. He looked like a large horseman riding a strong black horse. He didn’t threaten or engage with him but stayed off to one side of the road, trotting along next to old Gunpowder, who had calmed down from his earlier fright.
Ichabod, who had no relish for this strange midnight companion, and bethought himself of the adventure of Brom Bones with the galloping Hessian, now quickened his steed, in hopes of leaving him behind. The stranger, however, quickened his horse to an equal pace. Ichabod pulled up, and fell into a walk, thinking to lag behind—the other did the same. His heart began to sink within him; he endeavored to resume his psalm tune, but his parched tongue clove to the roof of his mouth, and he could not utter a stave. There was something in the moody and dogged silence of this pertinacious companion that was mysterious and appalling. It was soon fearfully accounted for. On mounting a rising ground, which brought the figure of his fellow-traveler in relief against the sky, gigantic in height, and muffled in a cloak, Ichabod was horror-struck, on perceiving that he was headless! but his horror was still more increased, on observing that the head, which should have rested on his shoulders, was carried before him on the pommel of his saddle! His terror rose to desperation; he rained a shower of kicks and blows upon Gunpowder, hoping, by a sudden movement, to give his companion the slip—but the specter started full jump with him. Away, then, they dashed through thick and thin; stones flying and sparks flashing at every bound. Ichabod's flimsy garments fluttered in the air, as he stretched his long lank body away over his horse's head, in the eagerness of his flight.
Ichabod, who wasn’t thrilled about his strange midnight companion, remembered Brom Bones' encounter with the galloping Hessian and spurred his horse, hoping to shake him off. The stranger, however, matched his speed. Ichabod slowed down to a walk, thinking he could fall behind—only to have the other do the same. His heart sank; he tried to pick up his psalm tune, but his dry mouth felt glued shut, and he couldn't get a word out. There was something eerie and unsettling about the silent persistence of this companion. It soon became terrifyingly clear. As they reached an elevated spot, where his fellow traveler was silhouetted against the sky, tall and wrapped in a cloak, Ichabod was horrified to see that he was headless! His fear grew even more when he noticed that the missing head was resting on the pommel of the saddle in front of him! Panic set in—he kicked and struck Gunpowder repeatedly, hoping to break free, but the specter leapt right alongside him. Off they raced through the chaos; stones flew, and sparks lit up with every leap. Ichabod's thin clothes flapped in the wind as he leaned forward over his horse's neck, desperate to escape.
They had now reached the road which turns off to Sleepy Hollow; but Gunpowder, who seemed possessed with a demon, instead of keeping up it, made an opposite turn, and plunged headlong downhill to the left. This road leads through a sandy hollow, shaded by trees for about a quarter of a mile, where it crosses the bridge famous in goblin story; and just beyond swells the green knoll on which stands the whitewashed church.
They had now reached the road that turns off to Sleepy Hollow; but Gunpowder, who seemed to be possessed by a demon, instead of staying on it, took a sharp turn and plunged downhill to the left. This road goes through a sandy hollow, shaded by trees for about a quarter of a mile, where it crosses the bridge famous in ghost stories; and just beyond rises the green hill where the whitewashed church stands.
As yet the panic of the steed had given his unskillful rider an apparent advantage in the chase; but just as he had got half-way through the hollow, the girths of the saddle gave way, and he felt it slipping from under him. He seized it by the pommel, and endeavored to hold it firm, but in vain; and had just time to save himself by clasping old Gunpowder round the neck, when the saddle fell to the earth, and he heard it trampled under foot by his pursuer. For a moment the terror of Hans Van Ripper's wrath passed across his mind—for it was his Sunday saddle; but this was no time for petty fears: the goblin was hard on his haunches; and (unskillful rider that he was!) he had much ado to maintain his seat; sometimes slipping on one side, sometimes on another, and sometimes jolted on the high ridge of his horse's backbone, with a violence that he verily feared would cleave him asunder.
So far, the panic of the horse had given its inexperienced rider a slight advantage in the chase. But just as he made it halfway through the hollow, the straps of the saddle came loose, and he felt it slipping away. He grabbed onto the pommel and tried to hold it in place, but it was useless. He barely managed to save himself by wrapping his arms around old Gunpowder’s neck when the saddle fell to the ground, and he heard it getting trampled by his pursuer. For a moment, he worried about Hans Van Ripper’s anger—since it was his Sunday saddle—but there was no time for small fears; the goblin was right on his back. Despite being an inexperienced rider, he struggled to keep his seat, sometimes slipping to one side, sometimes to the other, and occasionally jolting on the high ridge of the horse’s back with a force that made him seriously fear he would be split in two.
An opening in the trees now cheered him with the hopes that the church bridge was at hand. The wavering reflection of a silver star in the bosom of the brook told him that he was not mistaken. He saw the walls of the church dimly glaring under the trees beyond. He recollected the place where Brom Bones's ghostly competitor had disappeared. "If I can but reach that bridge," thought Ichabod, "I am safe." Just then he heard the black steed panting and blowing close behind him; he even fancied that he felt his hot breath. Another convulsive kick in the ribs, and old Gunpowder sprung upon the bridge; he thundered over the resounding planks; he gained the opposite side, and now Ichabod cast a look behind to see if his pursuer should vanish, according to rule, in a flash of fire and brimstone. Just then he saw the goblin rising in his stirrups, and in the very act of hurling his head at him. Ichabod endeavored to dodge the horrible missile, but too late. It encountered his cranium with a tremendous crash—he was tumbled headlong into the dust, and Gunpowder, the black steed, and the goblin rider, passed by like a whirlwind.
An opening in the trees now filled him with hope that the church bridge was nearby. The shimmering reflection of a silver star in the brook confirmed he wasn’t mistaken. He caught a glimpse of the church walls faintly glowing under the trees ahead. He remembered where Brom Bones’s ghostly rival had vanished. "If I can just reach that bridge," Ichabod thought, "I’ll be safe." Just then, he heard the black steed panting and breathing heavily right behind him; he even imagined he felt its hot breath. Another jolt in the ribs, and old Gunpowder jumped onto the bridge; he thundered across the echoing planks; he made it to the other side, and now Ichabod looked back to see if his pursuer would disappear, as expected, in a flash of fire and brimstone. At that moment, he saw the goblin rising in his stirrups, ready to throw his head at him. Ichabod tried to dodge the terrifying projectile, but it was too late. It struck his head with a tremendous crash—he was knocked headfirst into the dirt, and Gunpowder, the black steed, and the goblin rider rushed past like a whirlwind.
The next morning the old horse was found without his saddle, and with the bridle under his feet, soberly cropping the grass at his master's gate. Ichabod did not make his appearance at breakfast—dinner-hour came, but no Ichabod. The boys assembled at the schoolhouse, and strolled idly about the banks of the brook; but no schoolmaster. Hans Van Ripper now began to feel some uneasiness about the fate of poor Ichabod, and his saddle. An inquiry was set on foot, and after diligent investigation they came upon his traces. In one part of the road leading to the church was found the saddle trampled in the dirt; the tracks of horses' hoofs deeply dented in the road, and evidently at furious speed, were traced to the bridge, beyond which, on the bank of a broad part of the brook, where the water ran deep and black, was found the hat of the unfortunate Ichabod, and close beside it a shattered pumpkin.
The next morning, the old horse was found without his saddle and the bridle under his feet, calmly grazing at his owner's gate. Ichabod didn’t show up for breakfast—dinner time arrived, but still no Ichabod. The boys gathered at the schoolhouse and wandered aimlessly along the banks of the creek, but there was no schoolmaster. Hans Van Ripper started to feel worried about poor Ichabod and his saddle. A search was initiated, and after some thorough investigation, they finally found some clues. On one part of the road leading to the church, the saddle was discovered, trampled into the dirt; deep hoof prints were etched into the road, clearly made at a fast speed, leading to the bridge. Beyond that, on the bank of a wide section of the creek, where the water was deep and dark, they found Ichabod’s hat, and right next to it, a smashed pumpkin.
The brook was searched, but the body of the schoolmaster was not to be discovered. Hans Van Ripper, as executor of his estate, examined the bundle which contained all his worldly effects. They consisted of two shirts and a half; two stocks for the neck; a pair or two of worsted stockings; an old pair of corduroy small-clothes; a rusty razor; a book of psalm tunes full of dog's ears; and a broken pitch-pipe. As to the books and furniture of the schoolhouse, they belonged to the community, excepting Cotton Mather's "History of Witchcraft," a New England Almanac, and a book of dreams and fortune-telling; in which last was a sheet of foolscap much scribbled and blotted, by several fruitless attempts to make a copy of verses in honor of the heiress of Van Tassel. These magic books and the poetic scrawl were forthwith consigned to the flames by Hans Van Ripper; who, from that time forward, determined to send his children no more to school; observing that he never knew any good come of this same reading and writing. Whatever money the schoolmaster possessed, and he had received his quarter's pay but a day or two before, he must have had about his person at the time of his disappearance.
The brook was searched, but they couldn't find the schoolmaster's body. Hans Van Ripper, the executor of his estate, went through the bundle that held all his belongings. It included two and a half shirts, two neck stocks, a couple of pairs of worsted stockings, an old pair of corduroy pants, a rusty razor, a book of psalm tunes that was dog-eared, and a broken pitch-pipe. As for the books and furniture in the schoolhouse, they belonged to the community, except for Cotton Mather's "History of Witchcraft," a New England Almanac, and a book on dreams and fortune-telling. The last book had a sheet of paper filled with faded notes from several failed attempts to write a poem in honor of the heiress of Van Tassel. Hans Van Ripper immediately threw these magical books and the poetic scribbles into the fire, deciding then and there that he would no longer send his children to school, noting that he had never seen any benefit from this reading and writing. Any money the schoolmaster had, which he had just received for the last quarter a day or two before, must have been on him when he went missing.
The mysterious event caused much speculation at the church on the following Sunday. Knots of gazers and gossips were collected in the churchyard, at the bridge, and at the spot where the hat and pumpkin had been found. The stories of Brouwer, of Bones, and a whole budget of others, were called to mind; and when they had diligently considered them all, and compared them with the symptoms of the present case, they shook their heads, and came to the conclusion that Ichabod had been carried off by the galloping Hessian. As he was a bachelor, and in nobody's debt, nobody troubled his head any more about him; the school was removed to a different quarter of the Hollow, and another pedagogue reigned in his stead.
The mysterious event sparked a lot of gossip at the church the following Sunday. Groups of spectators and chatterboxes gathered in the churchyard, by the bridge, and at the spot where the hat and pumpkin had been discovered. They recalled the stories of Brouwer, Bones, and a whole bunch of others; and after carefully considering them all and comparing them to the current situation, they shook their heads and concluded that Ichabod had been taken away by the galloping Hessian. Since he was single and owed nothing to anyone, nobody worried about him anymore; the school was moved to a different part of the Hollow, and another teacher took over in his place.
It is true, an old farmer, who had been down to New York on a visit several years after, and from whom this account of the ghostly adventure was received, brought home the intelligence that Ichabod Crane was still alive; that he had left the neighborhood partly through fear of the goblin and Hans Van Ripper, and partly in mortification at having been suddenly dismissed by the heiress; that he had changed his quarters to a distant part of the country; had kept school and studied law at the same time; had been admitted to the bar; turned politician; electioneered; written for the newspapers; and finally had been made a Justice of the Ten Pound Court. Brom Bones too, who, shortly after his rival's disappearance, conducted the blooming Katrina in triumph to the altar, was observed to look exceedingly knowing whenever the story of Ichabod was related, and always burst into a hearty laugh at the mention of the pumpkin; which led some to suspect that he knew more about the matter than he chose to tell.
It’s true, an old farmer, who visited New York several years later and shared this account of the ghostly adventure, returned with the news that Ichabod Crane was still alive; he had left the area partly out of fear of the goblin and Hans Van Ripper, and partly in embarrassment after being suddenly dismissed by the heiress. He had moved to a faraway part of the country, taught school while studying law, got admitted to the bar, became a politician, campaigned, wrote for newspapers, and eventually became a Justice of the Ten Pound Court. Brom Bones, who shortly after his rival’s disappearance proudly escorted the beautiful Katrina to the altar, was seen looking quite smug whenever Ichabod’s story was told, and always burst into a hearty laugh at the mention of the pumpkin, which made some suspect that he knew more about the whole situation than he was willing to share.
The old country wives, however, who are the best judges of these matters, maintain to this day that Ichabod was spirited away by supernatural means; and it is a favorite story often told about the neighborhood round the winter evening fire. The bridge became more than ever an object of superstitious awe; and that may be the reason why the road has been altered of late years, so as to approach the church by the border of the mill-pond. The schoolhouse being deserted, soon fell to decay, and was reported to be haunted by the ghost of the unfortunate pedagogue; and the plow-boy, loitering homeward of a still summer evening, has often fancied his voice at a distance, chanting a melancholy psalm tune among the tranquil solitudes of Sleepy Hollow.
The old country women, who are the best judges of these things, still believe that Ichabod was taken away by supernatural forces; and it’s a favorite story that gets told around the neighborhood during winter evenings by the fire. The bridge became even more of a source of superstitious fear, and that might be why the road has been changed in recent years to lead to the church along the edge of the mill-pond. With the schoolhouse abandoned, it quickly fell into disrepair and became rumored to be haunted by the ghost of the unfortunate teacher; and the farm boy, walking home on a quiet summer evening, has often imagined hearing his voice in the distance, singing a sad psalm tune among the peaceful solitude of Sleepy Hollow.
POSTSCRIPT
FOUND IN THE HANDWRITING OF MR. KNICKERBOCKER
The preceding Tale is given, almost in the precise words in which I heard it related at a Corporation meeting of the ancient city of the Manhattoes,[2] at which were present many of its sagest and most illustrious burghers. The narrator was a pleasant, shabby, gentlemanly old fellow in pepper-and-salt clothes, with a sadly humorous face; and one whom I strongly suspected of being poor—he made such efforts to be entertaining. When his story was concluded there was much laughter and approbation, particularly from two or three deputy aldermen, who had been asleep the greater part of the time. There was, however, one tall, dry-looking old gentleman, with beetling eyebrows, who maintained a grave and rather severe face throughout; now and then folding his arms, inclining his head, and looking down upon the floor, as if turning a doubt over in his mind. He was one of your wary men, who never laugh but upon good grounds—when they have reason and the law on their side. When the mirth of the rest of the company had subsided, and silence was restored, he leaned one arm on the elbow of his chair, and sticking the other a-kimbo, demanded, with a slight but exceedingly sage motion of the head and contraction of the brow, what was the moral of the story, and what it went to prove.
The previous story is presented almost exactly as I heard it told at a Corporation meeting of the old city of Manhattan,[2] where many of its wisest and most notable citizens were present. The storyteller was a friendly, shabby, gentlemanly old man in pepper-and-salt clothes, with a face full of sad humor; and I strongly suspected he was poor—he tried so hard to entertain. When he finished his tale, there was a lot of laughter and approval, especially from a couple of deputy aldermen who had been dozing for most of it. However, there was one tall, dry-looking old man with bushy eyebrows who kept a serious and somewhat stern expression the whole time; now and then he would fold his arms, tilt his head, and look down at the floor as if pondering a question. He was one of those cautious types who only laugh when there’s good reason—when they have the facts and the law on their side. Once the laughter from the rest of the group died down and silence fell, he leaned one arm on the elbow of his chair, placed the other on his hip, and, with a slight but very wise nod of his head and a furrowed brow, asked what the moral of the story was and what it was supposed to demonstrate.
The story-teller, who was just putting a glass of wine to his lips, as a refreshment after his toils, paused for a moment, looked at his inquirer with an air of infinite deference, and lowering the glass slowly to the table, observed that the story was intended most logically to prove:
The storyteller, who was just about to take a sip of wine as a break after his hard work, paused for a moment, looked at his questioner with great respect, and slowly set the glass down on the table, noting that the story was meant to logically demonstrate:
"That there is no situation in life but has its advantages and pleasures—provided we will but take a joke as we find it;
"There's no situation in life that doesn't have its benefits and joys—if we're willing to take things lightly as they come;"
"That, therefore, he that runs races with goblin troopers is likely to have rough riding of it;
"That being said, anyone who races against goblin soldiers is probably in for a tough ride;"
"Ergo, for a country schoolmaster to be refused the hand of a Dutch heiress is a certain step to high preferment in the State."
"Therefore, when a country schoolmaster is turned down by a Dutch heiress, it's definitely a step toward getting a high position in the State."
The cautious old gentleman knit his brows tenfold closer after this explanation, being sorely puzzled by the ratiocination of the syllogism; while, methought, the one in pepper-and-salt eyed him with something of a triumphant leer. At length he observed, that all this was very well, but still he thought the story a little on the extravagant—there were one or two points on which he had his doubts:
The careful old gentleman frowned even more after this explanation, really confused by the reasoning of the argument; meanwhile, I felt like the man in the pepper-and-salt looked at him with a hint of a triumphant smirk. Finally, he remarked that all of this was fine, but he still thought the story was a bit over-the-top—there were a couple of points he was unsure about:
"Faith, sir," replied the story-teller, "as to that matter, I don't believe one-half of it myself."
"Honestly, sir," replied the storyteller, "regarding that, I don't even believe half of it myself."
D. K.
D.K.
[1] The whip-poor-will is a bird which is only heard at night. It receives its name from its note, which is thought to resemble those words.
[1] The whip-poor-will is a bird that you can only hear at night. Its name comes from its call, which sounds like those words.
[2] New York.
[__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__] NYC.
THE GOLD-BUG
By EDGAR ALLAN POE
What ho! what ho! this fellow is dancing mad!
He hath been bitten by the Tarantula.
—All in the Wrong
What’s up! What’s up! This guy is dancing like crazy!
He’s been bitten by a Tarantula.
—All in the Wrong
Many years ago, I contracted an intimacy with a Mr. William Legrand. He was of an ancient Huguenot family, and had once been wealthy; but a series of misfortunes had reduced him to want. To avoid the mortification consequent upon his disasters, he left New Orleans, the city of his forefathers, and took up his residence at Sullivan's Island, near Charleston, South Carolina.
Many years ago, I became close with a man named Mr. William Legrand. He came from an old Huguenot family and had once been wealthy, but a string of bad luck had left him in need. To escape the embarrassment that came with his troubles, he left New Orleans, the city of his ancestors, and moved to Sullivan's Island, close to Charleston, South Carolina.
This island is a very singular one. It consists of little else than the sea sand, and is about three miles long. Its breadth at no point exceeds a quarter of a mile. It is separated from the mainland by a scarcely perceptible creek, oozing its way through a wilderness of reeds and slime, a favorite resort of the marsh-hen. The vegetation, as might be supposed, is scant, or at least dwarfish. No trees of any magnitude are to be seen. Near the western extremity, where Fort Moultrie stands, and where are some miserable frame buildings, tenanted, during the summer, by the fugitives from Charleston dust and fever, may be found, indeed, the bristly palmetto; but the whole island, with the exception of this western point, and a line of hard, white beach on the seacoast, is covered with a dense undergrowth of the sweet myrtle so much prized by the horticulturists of England. The shrub here often attains the height of fifteen or twenty feet, and forms an almost impenetrable coppice, burdening the air with its fragrance.
This island is quite unique. It’s mostly made up of sea sand and is about three miles long. Its width never exceeds a quarter of a mile. It’s separated from the mainland by a barely noticeable creek that meanders through a wilderness of reeds and muck, a favorite hangout for marsh-hens. The vegetation, as you might expect, is sparse, or at least stunted. There are no large trees in sight. Near the western end, where Fort Moultrie is located, there are some rundown frame buildings occupied during the summer by people escaping the dust and fever of Charleston. Here, you can find the spiky palmetto, but the rest of the island, aside from this western tip and a strip of hard, white beach along the coast, is covered in thick underbrush of sweet myrtle, which is highly valued by horticulturists in England. The shrub here can reach heights of fifteen to twenty feet, creating an almost impenetrable thicket that fills the air with its fragrance.
In the inmost recesses of this coppice, not far from the eastern or more remote end of the island, Legrand had built himself a small hut, which he occupied when I first, by mere accident, made his acquaintance. This soon ripened into friendship—for there was much in the recluse to excite interest and esteem. I found him well educated, with unusual powers of mind, but infected with misanthropy, and subject to perverse moods of alternate enthusiasm and melancholy. He had with him many books, but rarely employed them. His chief amusements were gunning and fishing, or sauntering along the beach and through the myrtles, in quest of shells or entomological specimens—his collection of the latter might have been envied by a Swammerdamm. In these excursions he was usually accompanied by an old negro, called Jupiter, who had been manumitted before the reverses of the family, but who could be induced, neither by threats nor by promises, to abandon what he considered his right of attendance upon the footsteps of his young "Massa Will." It is not improbable that the relatives of Legrand, conceiving him to be somewhat unsettled in intellect, had contrived to instil this obstinacy into Jupiter, with a view to the supervision and guardianship of the wanderer.
In the deepest part of this thicket, not far from the eastern or more distant end of the island, Legrand had built himself a small hut, which he lived in when I first met him by pure chance. This quickly developed into a friendship—there was so much about the recluse that sparked interest and admiration. I found him well-educated, with remarkable intelligence, but plagued by misanthropy and prone to mood swings between excitement and sadness. He had many books but rarely used them. His main hobbies were hunting and fishing, or wandering along the beach and through the myrtles, looking for shells or insects—his collection of the latter could have been envied by a Swammerdam. During these outings, he was usually accompanied by an old black man named Jupiter, who had been freed before the family's downturn, but who could neither be scared nor persuaded to give up what he believed was his right to follow his young "Massa Will." It's likely that Legrand's relatives, thinking he was a bit unstable, had instilled this stubbornness in Jupiter to keep an eye on the wanderer.
The winters in the latitude of Sullivan's Island are seldom very severe, and in the fall of the year it is a rare event indeed when a fire is considered necessary. About the middle of October, 18—, there occurred, however, a day of remarkable chilliness. Just before sunset I scrambled my way through the evergreens to the hut of my friend, whom I had not visited for several weeks—my residence being, at that time, in Charleston, a distance of nine miles from the island, while the facilities of passage and re-passage were very far behind those of the present day. Upon reaching the hut I rapped, as was my custom, and getting no reply, sought for the key where I knew it was secreted, unlocked the door, and went in. A fine fire was blazing upon the hearth. It was a novelty, and by no means an ungrateful one. I threw off an overcoat, took an armchair by the crackling logs, and awaited patiently the arrival of my hosts.
The winters at Sullivan's Island aren't usually very harsh, and it’s pretty uncommon to need a fire in the fall. However, around mid-October, 18—, there was a surprisingly chilly day. Just before sunset, I made my way through the evergreens to my friend's hut, which I hadn’t visited in several weeks—my home was in Charleston, about nine miles from the island, and getting back and forth wasn’t as easy as it is today. When I got to the hut, I knocked, as I usually did, and when there was no answer, I looked for the hidden key, unlocked the door, and went inside. A nice fire was crackling on the hearth. It was a welcome surprise. I took off my overcoat, settled into an armchair by the warm logs, and patiently waited for my friends to arrive.
Soon after dark they arrived, and gave me a most cordial welcome. Jupiter, grinning from ear to ear, bustled about to prepare some marsh-hens for supper. Legrand was in one of his fits—how else shall I term them?—of enthusiasm. He had found an unknown bivalve, forming a new genus, and, more than this, he had hunted down and secured, with Jupiter's assistance, a scarabaeus which he believed to be totally new, but in respect to which he wished to have my opinion on the morrow.
Soon after dark, they arrived and gave me a warm welcome. Jupiter, grinning from ear to ear, rushed around to prepare some marsh-hens for dinner. Legrand was in one of his excited moods—how else can I describe them?—because he had discovered an unknown bivalve that formed a new genus. Plus, he had tracked down a scarabaeus that he believed was completely new, but he wanted my opinion on it tomorrow.
"And why not to-night?" I asked, rubbing my hands over the blaze, and wishing the whole tribe of scarabaei at the devil.
"And why not tonight?" I asked, rubbing my hands over the fire and wishing the whole tribe of scarabaei would go away.
"Ah, if I had only known you were here!" said Legrand, "but it's so long since I saw you; and how could I foresee that you would pay me a visit this very night, of all others? As I was coming home I met Lieutenant G——, from the fort, and, very foolishly, I lent him the bug; so it will be impossible for you to see it until the morning. Stay here to-night, and I will send Jup down for it at sunrise. It is the loveliest thing in creation!"
"Ah, if I had only known you were here!" said Legrand. "It's been so long since I last saw you, and how could I have predicted you'd visit me tonight of all nights? On my way home, I ran into Lieutenant G—— from the fort, and, honestly, I lent him the bug. So, you won't be able to see it until morning. Stay here tonight, and I'll have Jup go get it at sunrise. It's the most beautiful thing ever!"
"What?—sunrise?"
"What?—sunrise?"
"Nonsense! no!—the bug. It is of a brilliant gold color—about the size of a large hickory-nut—with two jet-black spots near one extremity of the back, and another, somewhat longer, at the other. The antennae are—"
"Nonsense! No! The bug is a bright gold color—about the size of a large hickory nut—with two jet-black spots near one end of its back, and another, a bit longer, at the other end. The antennae are—"
"Dey ain't no tin in him, Massa Will, I keep a tellin' on you," here interrupted Jupiter; "de bug is a goole-bug, solid, ebery bit of him, inside and all, sep him wing—neber feel half so hebby a bug in my life."
"Dey ain’t no tin in him, Massa Will, I keep telling you," Jupiter interrupted. "The bug is a goole-bug, solid, every bit of him, inside and all, except his wing—never felt such a heavy bug in my life."
"Well, suppose it is, Jup," replied Legrand, somewhat more earnestly, it seemed to me, than the case demanded; "is that any reason for your letting the birds burn? The color—" here he turned to me—"is really almost enough to warrant Jupiter's idea. You never saw a more brilliant metallic lustre than the scales emit—but of this you cannot judge till to-morrow. In the meantime I can give you some idea of the shape." Saying this, he seated himself at a small table, on which were a pen and ink, but no paper. He looked for some in a drawer, but found none.
"Well, let’s say it is, Jup," Legrand replied, sounding a bit more serious than the situation called for; "does that give you a reason to let the birds burn? The color—" here he turned to me—"is actually almost enough to back up Jupiter's idea. You’ve never seen a more brilliant metallic shine than the scales have, but you won’t be able to judge that until tomorrow. In the meantime, I can give you an idea of the shape." With that, he sat down at a small table that had a pen and ink but no paper. He looked in a drawer for some but found none.
"Never mind," he said at length, "this will answer;" and he drew from his waistcoat pocket a scrap of what I took to be very dirty foolscap, and made upon it a rough drawing with the pen. While he did this, I retained my seat by the fire, for I was still chilly. When the design was complete, he handed it to me without rising. As I received it, a loud growl was heard, succeeded by a scratching at the door. Jupiter opened it, and a large Newfoundland, belonging to Legrand, rushed in, leaped upon my shoulders, and loaded me with caresses; for I had shown him much attention during previous visits. When his gambols were over, I looked at the paper, and, to speak the truth, found myself not a little puzzled at what my friend had depicted.
"Never mind," he finally said, "this will work;" and he pulled out a piece of what looked like very dirty paper from his waistcoat pocket and made a rough sketch with his pen on it. While he was doing this, I stayed seated by the fire because I was still cold. When he finished the drawing, he handed it to me without standing up. As I took it, I heard a loud growl followed by scratching at the door. Jupiter opened it, and a large Newfoundland dog belonging to Legrand rushed in, jumped onto my shoulders, and showered me with affection since I had given him a lot of attention during previous visits. Once he calmed down, I looked at the paper and, to be honest, found myself quite puzzled by what my friend had drawn.
"Well!" I said, after contemplating it for some minutes, "this is a strange scarabaeus, I must confess; new to me; never saw anything like it before—unless it was a skull, or a death's-head, which it more nearly resembles than anything else that has come under my observation."
"Well!" I said, after thinking about it for a few minutes, "this is a strange scarabaeus, I have to admit; it's new to me; I've never seen anything like it before—unless it was a skull or a death's-head, which it looks more like than anything else I've come across."
"A death's-head!" echoed Legrand. "Oh—yes well, it has something of that appearance upon paper, no doubt. The two upper black spots look like eyes, eh? and the longer one at the bottom like a mouth—and then the shape of the whole is oval."
"A skull!" Legrand exclaimed. "Oh—yeah, it definitely looks like that on paper. The two dark spots at the top look like eyes, right? And the longer one at the bottom looks like a mouth—and the overall shape is oval."
"Perhaps so," said I; "but, Legrand, I fear you are no artist. I must wait until I see the beetle itself, if I am to form any idea of its personal appearance."
"Maybe," I said; "but, Legrand, I worry you're not really an artist. I need to wait until I see the beetle itself if I'm going to get any idea of what it looks like."
"Well, I don't know," said he, a little nettled, "I draw tolerably—should do it at least—have had good masters, and flatter myself that I am not quite a blockhead."
"Well, I don’t know," he said, a bit annoyed, "I can draw decently—should be able to at least—I've had good teachers, and I like to think I'm not completely clueless."
"But, my dear fellow, you are joking, then," said I; "this is a very passable skull—indeed, I may say that it is a very excellent skull, according to the vulgar notions about such specimens of physiology—and your scarabaeus must be the queerest scarabaeus in the world if it resembles it. Why, we may get up a very thrilling bit of superstition upon this hint. I presume you will call the bug scarabaeus caput hominis, or something of that kind—there are many similar titles in the Natural Histories. But where are the antennae you spoke of?"
"But, my dear friend, you’re joking, right?" I said. "This is a pretty decent skull—in fact, I’d say it's a very excellent skull, according to common ideas about such specimens of physiology—and your scarabaeus must be the strangest scarabaeus in the world if it looks like this. Why, we could create an exciting bit of superstition from this clue. I assume you’ll call the bug scarabaeus caput hominis or something like that—there are plenty of similar names in the Natural Histories. But where are the antennae you mentioned?"
"The antennae!" said Legrand, who seemed to be getting unaccountably warm upon the subject; "I am sure you must see the antennae. I made them as distinct as they are in the original insect, and I presume that is sufficient."
"The antennae!" Legrand exclaimed, appearing unexpectedly animated about the topic. "I'm sure you can see the antennae. I made them as clear as they are in the original insect, and I believe that should be enough."
"Well, well," I said, "perhaps you have—still I don't see them;" and I handed him the paper without additional remark, not wishing to ruffle his temper; but I was much surprised at the turn affairs had taken; his ill humor puzzled me—and, as for the drawing of the beetle, there were positively no antennae visible, and the whole did bear a very close resemblance to the ordinary cuts of a death's-head.
"Well, well," I said, "maybe you do—but I still can't see them;" and I handed him the paper without saying anything more, not wanting to upset him; but I was quite surprised by how things had changed; his bad mood confused me—and as for the drawing of the beetle, there were definitely no antennae visible, and it looked a lot like a typical depiction of a skull.
He received the paper very peevishly, and was about to crumple it, apparently to throw it in the fire, when a casual glance at the design seemed suddenly to rivet his attention. In an instant his face grew violently red—in another excessively pale. For some minutes he continued to scrutinize the drawing minutely where he sat. At length he arose, took a candle from the table, and proceeded to seat himself upon a sea-chest in the furthest corner of the room. Here again he made an anxious examination of the paper; turning it in all directions. He said nothing, however, and his conduct greatly astonished me; yet I thought it prudent not to exacerbate the growing moodiness of his temper by any comment. Presently he took from his coat-pocket a wallet, placed the paper carefully in it, and deposited both in a writing-desk, which he locked. He now grew more composed in his demeanor; but his original air of enthusiasm had quite disappeared. Yet he seemed not so much sulky as abstracted. As the evening wore away he became more and more absorbed in revery, from which no sallies of mine could arouse him. It had been my intention to pass the night at the hut, as I had frequently done before, but, seeing my host in this mood, I deemed it proper to take leave. He did not press me to remain, but, as I departed, he shook my hand with even more than his usual cordiality.
He took the paper with a lot of annoyance and was about to crumple it up, seemingly to throw it in the fire, when a quick glance at the design suddenly caught his full attention. In an instant, his face turned bright red, then extremely pale. For several minutes, he closely examined the drawing while sitting there. Finally, he got up, took a candle from the table, and sat down on a sea chest in the farthest corner of the room. There, he carefully examined the paper again, turning it in every direction. He didn’t say anything, but his behavior shocked me; I thought it best not to worsen his growing moodiness with any comments. After a while, he took a wallet out of his coat pocket, placed the paper inside it, and put both into a writing desk, which he then locked. He seemed calmer now, but the enthusiasm he had shown earlier was completely gone. He looked less sulky and more lost in thought. As the evening went on, he became increasingly absorbed in his daydreaming, from which I couldn’t pull him out with any of my remarks. I had planned to spend the night at the hut like I had done many times before, but seeing my host in this state, I decided it was best to leave. He didn’t urge me to stay, but as I was leaving, he shook my hand with even more warmth than usual.
It was about a month after this (and during the interval I had seen nothing of Legrand) when I received a visit, at Charleston, from his man, Jupiter. I had never seen the good old negro look so dispirited, and I feared that some serious disaster had befallen my friend.
It was about a month after this (and during that time I hadn’t seen Legrand) when I got a visit in Charleston from his servant, Jupiter. I had never seen the good old man look so downcast, and I worried that something terrible had happened to my friend.
"Well, Jup," said I, "what is the matter now?—how is your master?"
"Well, Jup," I said, "what’s going on now? How is your boss?"
"Why, to speak de troof, massa, him not so berry well as mought be."
"To be honest, sir, he's not doing as well as he could be."
"Not well! I am truly sorry to hear it. What does he complain of?"
"Not good! I'm really sorry to hear that. What is he complaining about?"
"Dar! dat's it!—him neber 'plain of notin'—but him berry sick for all dat."
"Wow! That's it! He never complained about anything, but he's really sick after all."
"Very sick, Jupiter!—why didn't you say so at once? Is he confined to bed?"
"Very sick, Jupiter!—why didn't you just say that right away? Is he stuck in bed?"
"No, dat he aint—he aint 'fin'd nowhar—dat's just whar de shoe pinch—my mind is got to be berry hebby 'bout poor Massa Will."
"No, he isn't—he isn't found anywhere—that's just where the shoe pinches—my mind has got to be very heavy about poor Massa Will."
"Jupiter, I should like to understand what it is you are talking about. You say your master is sick. Hasn't he told you what ails him?"
"Jupiter, I want to understand what you're talking about. You say your boss is sick. Hasn't he told you what's wrong with him?"
"Why, massa, 'taint worf while for to git mad about de matter—Massa Will say noffin at all aint de matter wid him—but den what make him go about looking dis here way, wid he head down and he soldiers up, and as white as a goose? And den he keep a syphon all de time—"
"Why, master, it’s not worth getting mad about this—Master will say there’s nothing wrong with him—but then why does he walk around looking like this, head down and shoulders up, as pale as a goose? And then he keeps a sighing all the time—"
"Keeps a what, Jupiter?"
"Keeps a what, Jupes?"
"Keeps a syphon wid de figgurs on de slate—de queerest figgurs I ebber did see. Ise gittin' to be skeered, I tell you. Hab for to keep mighty tight eye 'pon him 'noovers. Todder day he gib me slip 'fore de sun up and was gone de whole ob de blessed day. I had a big stick ready cut for to gib him deuced good beating when he did come—but Ise sich a fool dat I hadn't de heart arter all—he looked so berry poorly."
"Keeps a siphon with the figures on the slate— the strangest figures I've ever seen. I'm getting scared, I'm telling you. I have to keep a really close eye on his movements. The other day he slipped away before the sun came up and was gone the whole blessed day. I had a big stick ready to give him a serious beating when he finally came back—but I'm such a fool that I didn't have the heart after all—he looked so awful."
"Eh?—what?—ah yes!—upon the whole I think you had better not be too severe with the poor fellow—don't flog him, Jupiter—he can't very well stand it—but can you form no idea of what has occasioned this illness, or rather this change of conduct? Has anything unpleasant happened since I saw you?"
"Eh?—what?—oh right!—overall, I think you shouldn’t be too hard on the poor guy—don’t hit him, Jupiter—he can't really handle it—but do you have any idea what caused this sickness, or rather this change in behavior? Has anything bad happened since I last saw you?"
"No, massa, dey aint bin noffin onpleasant since den—'twas 'fore den I'm feared—'twas de berry day you was dare."
"No, sir, there hasn't been anything unpleasant since then—I'm afraid it was 'before then—it was the very day you were there."
"How? what do you mean?"
"How? What do you mean?"
"Why, massa, I mean de bug—dare now."
"Why, master, I mean the bug—dare now."
"The what?"
"The what?"
"De bug—I'm berry sartin dat Massa Will bin bit somewhere 'bout de head by dat goole-bug."
"That bug—I'm pretty sure that Mr. Will got bitten somewhere on the head by that bug."
"And what cause have you, Jupiter, for such a supposition?"
"And what reason do you have, Jupiter, for thinking that?"
"Claws enuff, massa, and mouff, too. I nebber did see sich a deuced bug—he kick and he bite ebery ting what cum near him. Massa Will cotch him fuss, but had for to let him go 'gin mighty quick, I tell you—den was de time he must ha' got de bite. I didn't like de look ob de bug mouff, myself, nohow, so I wouldn't take hold ob him wid my finger, but I cotch him wid a piece ob paper dat I found. I rap him up in de paper and stuff a piece of it in he mouff—dat was de way."
"Claws enough, boss, and mouth too. I never saw such a nasty bug—he kicks and bites everything that comes near him. Boss Will caught him first, but had to let him go pretty quickly, I swear—that was the time he must have gotten bitten. I didn't like the look of that bug's mouth myself, so I wouldn't touch him with my finger, but I caught him with a piece of paper I found. I wrapped him up in the paper and stuffed a piece of it in his mouth—that was the way."
"And you think, then, that your master was really bitten by the beetle, and that the bite made him sick?"
"And you really think that your master was actually bitten by the beetle, and that the bite made him sick?"
"I don't think noffin about it—I nose it. What make him dream 'bout de goole so much, if 'taint cause he bit by the goole-bug? Ise heered 'bout dem goole-bugs 'fore dis."
"I don't think anything about it—I know it. What makes him dream about the gold so much, if it's not because he's bitten by the gold-bug? I've heard about those gold-bugs before."
"But how do you know he dreams about gold?"
"But how do you know he's dreaming about gold?"
"How I know? why, 'cause he talk about it in he sleep—dat's how I nose."
"How do I know? Well, it's because he talks about it in his sleep—that's how I know."
"Well, Jup, perhaps you are right; but to what fortunate circumstance am I to attribute the honor of a visit from you to-day?"
"Well, Jup, maybe you're right; but what lucky situation do I have to thank for the honor of your visit today?"
"What de matter, massa?"
"What's the matter, sir?"
"Did you bring any message from Mr. Legrand?"
"Did you bring any message from Mr. Legrand?"
"No, massa, I bring dis here pissel;" and here Jupiter handed me a note which ran thus:
"No, ma'am, I brought this little note;" and here Jupiter handed me a note that said:
"My Dear—: Why have I not seen you for so long a time? I hope you have not been so foolish as to take offence at any little brusquerie of mine; but no, that is improbable.
"My Dear—: Why haven't I seen you in such a long time? I hope you haven't been so foolish as to take offense at any little bluntness of mine; but no, that seems unlikely."
"Since I saw you I have had great cause for anxiety. I have something to tell you, yet scarcely know how to tell it, or whether I should tell it at all.
"Since I saw you, I've been really anxious. I have something to share with you, but I'm not sure how to say it or if I should say it at all."
"I have not been quite well for some days past, and poor old Jup annoys me, almost beyond endurance, by his well-meant attentions. Would you believe it?—he had prepared a huge stick, the other day, with which to chastise me for giving him the slip, and spending the day, solus, among the hills on the main land. I verily believe that my ill looks alone saved me a flogging.
"I haven't been feeling great for the past few days, and poor old Jup is driving me crazy with his good intentions. Can you believe it? He actually got a big stick ready the other day to punish me for slipping away and spending the day alone in the hills on the mainland. I honestly think that just my tired appearance spared me from a beating."
"I have made no addition to my cabinet since we met.
"I haven't added anything to my cabinet since we last met."
"If you can, in any way, make it convenient, come over with Jupiter. Do come. I wish to see you to-night, upon business of importance. I assure you that it is of the highest importance.
"If you can, in any way, make it convenient, come over with Jupiter. Please do. I want to see you tonight about something important. I assure you it's very important."
"Ever yours,
"William Legrand."
"Always yours,
"William Legrand."
There was something in the tone of this note which gave me great uneasiness. Its whole style differed materially from that of Legrand. What could he be dreaming of? What new crotchet possessed his excitable brain? What "business of the highest importance" could he possibly have to transact? Jupiter's account of him boded no good. I dreaded lest the continued pressure of misfortune had, at length, fairly unsettled the reason of my friend. Without a moment's hesitation, therefore, I prepared to accompany the negro.
There was something in the tone of this note that made me really uneasy. The whole style was very different from Legrand's usual way of writing. What could he be thinking? What new obsession was taking over his excitable mind? What "business of the highest importance" could he possibly have to deal with? Jupiter's description of him didn’t sound promising. I worried that the constant stress of bad luck had finally pushed my friend over the edge. Without any hesitation, I got ready to go with the guy.
Upon reaching the wharf, I noticed a scythe and three spades, all apparently new, lying in the bottom of the boat in which we were to embark.
Upon reaching the dock, I saw a scythe and three shovels, all looking brand new, lying in the bottom of the boat we were about to board.
"What is the meaning of all this, Jup?" I inquired.
"What does all this mean, Jup?" I asked.
"Him syfe, massa, and spade."
"Him shovel, master, and spade."
"Very true; but what are they doing here?"
"That's definitely true; but what are they doing here?"
"Him de syfe and de spade what Massa Will sis pon my buying for him in de town, and de debbil's own lot of money I had to gib for 'em."
"Him say the scythe and the spade that Master Will wants me to buy for him in the town, and the devil's own lot of money I had to give for them."
"But what, in the name of all that is mysterious, is your 'Massa Will' going to do with scythes and spades?"
"But what, for the love of all that is mysterious, is your 'Massa Will' going to do with scythes and spades?"
"Dat's more dan I know, and debbil take me if I don't b'lieve 'tis more dan he know, too. But it's all cum ob de bug."
"That's more than I know, and I swear if I don't believe it's more than he knows, too. But it all comes from the bug."
Finding that no satisfaction was to be obtained of Jupiter, whose whole intellect seemed to be absorbed by "de bug," I now stepped into the boat, and made sail. With a fair and strong breeze we soon ran into the little cove to the northward of Port Moultrie, and a walk of some two miles brought us to the hut. It was about three in the afternoon when we arrived. Legrand had been awaiting us in eager expectation. He grasped my hand with a nervous empressement which alarmed me and strengthened the suspicions already entertained. His countenance was pale even to ghastliness, and his deep-set eyes glared with unnatural lustre. After some inquiries respecting his health, I asked him, not knowing what better to say, if he had yet obtained the scarabaeus from Lieutenant G——.
Finding no satisfaction from Jupiter, whose mind seemed entirely focused on "the bug," I got into the boat and set sail. With a strong, favorable wind, we quickly made it to the small cove north of Port Moultrie, and a walk of about two miles brought us to the hut. It was around three in the afternoon when we arrived. Legrand had been waiting for us with eager anticipation. He shook my hand with a nervous enthusiasm that worried me and heightened my existing suspicions. His face was pale to the point of looking ghostly, and his sunken eyes glowed with an unnatural brightness. After asking about his health, I inquired, not knowing what else to say, if he had received the scarabaeus from Lieutenant G——.
"Oh, yes," he replied, coloring violently, "I got it from him the next morning. Nothing should tempt me to part with that scarabaeus. Do you know that Jupiter is quite right about it?"
"Oh, yes," he replied, blushing deeply, "I got it from him the next morning. Nothing would make me give up that scarabaeus. Do you know that Jupiter is absolutely right about it?"
"In what way?" I asked, with a sad foreboding at heart.
"In what way?" I asked, feeling a deep sense of sadness.
"In supposing it to be a bug of real gold." He said this with an air of profound seriousness, and I felt inexpressibly shocked.
"In thinking it was a real gold bug." He said this with a deep seriousness, and I felt incredibly shocked.
"This bug is to make my fortune," he continued, with a triumphant smile; "to reinstate me in my family possessions. Is it any wonder, then, that I prize it? Since Fortune has thought fit to bestow it upon me, I have only to use it properly, and I shall arrive at the gold of which it is the index. Jupiter, bring me that scarabaeus!"
"This beetle is going to make me rich," he said with a triumphant smile. "It will restore my family's wealth. Is it any surprise, then, that I value it? Since luck has chosen to give it to me, I just need to use it wisely, and I’ll find the treasure it represents. Jupiter, bring me that scarabaeus!"
"What! de bug, massa? I'd rudder not go fer trubble dat bug; you mus' git him for your own self." Hereupon Legrand arose, with a grave and stately air, and brought me the beetle from a glass case in which it was enclosed. It was a beautiful scarabaeus, and, at that time, unknown to naturalists—of course a great prize in a scientific point of view. There were two round black spots near one extremity of the back, and a long one near the other. The scales were exceedingly hard and glossy, with all the appearance of burnished gold. The weight of the insect was very remarkable, and, taking all things into consideration, I could hardly blame Jupiter for his opinion respecting it; but what to make of Legrand's concordance with that opinion, I could not, for the life of me, tell.
"What! That bug, sir? I'd much rather not get into trouble with that bug; you should go get it yourself." With that, Legrand stood up, looking serious and dignified, and brought me the beetle from a glass case where it was kept. It was a beautiful scarabaeus, and, at that time, unknown to naturalists—definitely a big find from a scientific perspective. There were two round black spots at one end of its back and a long one at the other. The scales were extremely hard and shiny, resembling polished gold. The weight of the insect was quite notable, and considering everything, I could hardly blame Jupiter for his thoughts about it; but I just couldn’t understand why Legrand agreed with him.
"I sent for you," said he, in a grandiloquent tone, when I had completed my examination of the beetle, "I sent for you that I might have your counsel and assistance in furthering the views of Fate and of the frag—"
"I called for you," he said in a dramatic tone, after I finished examining the beetle, "I called for you so I could have your advice and help in advancing the ideas of Fate and the frag—"
"My dear Legrand," I cried, interrupting him, "you are certainly unwell, and had better use some little precautions. You shall go to bed, and I will remain with you a few days, until you get over this. You are feverish and—"
"My dear Legrand," I exclaimed, cutting him off, "you clearly aren’t feeling well and should take some precautions. You need to go to bed, and I’ll stay with you for a few days until you recover. You feel feverish and—"
"Feel my pulse," said he.
"Feel my heartbeat," he said.
I felt it, and to say the truth, found not the slightest indication of fever.
I felt it, and to be honest, I didn’t find any signs of a fever at all.
"But you may be ill and yet have no fever. Allow me this once to prescribe for you. In the first place, go to bed. In the next—"
"But you might be sick and not have a fever. Let me give you some advice this time. First, get some rest. Next—"
"You are mistaken," he interposed, "I am as well as I can expect to be under the excitement which I suffer. If you really wish me well, you will relieve this excitement."
"You’re wrong," he interrupted, "I’m doing as well as I can given the stress I’m under. If you genuinely want what’s best for me, you’ll help ease this stress."
"And how is this to be done?"
"And how is this supposed to be done?"
"Very easily. Jupiter and myself are going upon an expedition into the hills, upon the mainland, and, in this expedition, we shall need the aid of some person in whom we can confide. You are the only one we can trust. Whether we succeed or fail, the excitement which you now perceive in me will be equally allayed."
"Very easily. Jupiter and I are going on an expedition to the hills on the mainland, and for this trip, we need someone we can rely on. You’re the only one we can trust. Regardless of whether we succeed or fail, the excitement you see in me will be just as calmed."
"I am anxious to oblige you in any way," I replied; "but do you mean to say that this infernal beetle has any connection with your expedition into the hills?"
"I’m eager to help you in any way," I replied; "but are you really saying that this awful beetle is connected to your trip into the hills?"
"It has."
"It has."
"Then, Legrand, I can become a party to no such absurd proceeding."
"Then, Legrand, I can’t be a part of such a ridiculous situation."
"I am sorry—very sorry—for we shall have to try it by ourselves."
"I’m really sorry—so sorry—because we’re going to have to do this on our own."
"Try it by yourselves! The man is surely mad!—but stay!—how long do you propose to be absent?"
"Do it on your own! The guy is definitely crazy!—but wait!—how long do you plan to be gone?"
"Probably all night. We shall start immediately, and be back, at all events, by sunrise."
"Probably all night. We'll start right away and be back, at the latest, by sunrise."
"And will you promise me, upon your honor, that when this freak of yours is over, and the bug business (good God!) settled to your satisfaction, you will then return home and follow my advice implicitly, as that of your physician?"
"And will you promise me, on your honor, that when this situation of yours is over and the bug issue (good God!) is resolved to your satisfaction, you will then come home and follow my advice without question, just like you would from your doctor?"
"Yes; I promise; and now let us be off, for we have no time to lose."
"Yes, I promise; now let’s go, because we don’t have time to waste."
With a heavy heart I accompanied my friend. We started about four o'clock—Legrand, Jupiter, the dog, and myself. Jupiter had with him the scythe and spades—the whole of which he insisted upon carrying—more through fear, it seemed to me, of trusting either of the implements within reach of his master, than from any excess of industry or complaisance. His demeanor was dogged in the extreme, and "dat deuced bug" were the sole words which escaped his lips during the journey. For my own part, I had charge of a couple of dark lanterns, while Legrand contented himself with the scarabaeus, which he carried attached to the end of a bit of whip-cord; twirling it to and fro, with the air of a conjurer, as he went. When I observed this last, plain evidence of my friend's aberration of mind, I could scarcely refrain from tears. I thought it best, however, to humor his fancy, at least for the present, or until I could adopt some more energetic measures with a chance of success. In the meantime I endeavored, but all in vain, to sound him in regard to the object of the expedition. Having succeeded in inducing me to accompany him, he seemed unwilling to hold conversation upon any topic of minor importance, and to all my questions vouchsafed no other reply than "we shall see!"
With a heavy heart, I accompanied my friend. We set out around four o'clock—Legrand, Jupiter, the dog, and me. Jupiter insisted on carrying the scythe and spades himself—more out of fear, it seemed, of letting either tool be within reach of his master than out of any excessive eagerness or willingness to help. His attitude was extremely stubborn, and the only words he spoke during the journey were "dat deuced bug." As for me, I was in charge of a couple of flashlights, while Legrand was happy to carry the scarabaeus, which he attached to a piece of whip-cord and twirled back and forth like a magician as he walked. Seeing this clear sign of my friend's troubled mind, I could hardly hold back my tears. I thought it best, however, to indulge his whim for the moment or until I could come up with a more effective approach. In the meantime, I tried, but in vain, to get him to talk about the purpose of our trip. After convincing me to come along, he seemed reluctant to discuss anything of lesser importance, responding to all my questions with nothing more than "we shall see!"
We crossed the creek at the head of the island by means of a skiff, and, ascending the high grounds on the shore of the main land, proceeded in a northwesterly direction, through a tract of country excessively wild and desolate, where no trace of a human footstep was to be seen. Legrand led the way with decision; pausing only for an instant, here and there, to consult what appeared to be certain landmarks of his own contrivance upon a former occasion.
We crossed the creek at the top of the island using a small boat, and after climbing the elevated land on the mainland, we headed northwest through an incredibly wild and desolate area where there was no sign of human tracks. Legrand confidently led the way, stopping briefly from time to time to check what looked like specific landmarks he had set up on a previous trip.
In this manner we journeyed for about two hours, and the sun was just setting when we entered a region infinitely more dreary than any yet seen. It was a species of table-land, near the summit of an almost inaccessible hill, densely wooded from base to pinnacle, and interspersed with huge crags that appeared to lie loosely upon the soil, and in many cases were prevented from precipitating themselves into the valleys below, merely by the support of the trees against which they reclined. Deep ravines, in various directions, gave an air of still sterner solemnity to the scene.
We traveled like this for about two hours, and the sun was setting as we entered a place that was far more gloomy than anything we had encountered before. It was a type of plateau near the top of a nearly unreachable hill, thickly forested from the ground up, and dotted with massive rocks that seemed to loosely rest on the earth, often held in place only by the trees they leaned against. Deep ravines stretched out in different directions, adding a sense of even greater seriousness to the scene.
The natural platform to which we had clambered was thickly overgrown with brambles, through which we soon discovered that it would have been impossible to force our way but for the scythe; and Jupiter, by direction of his master, proceeded to clear for us a path to the foot of an enormously tall tulip-tree, which stood, with some eight or ten oaks, upon the level, and far surpassed them all, and all other trees which I had then ever seen, in the beauty of its foliage and form, in the wide spread of its branches, and in the general majesty of its appearance. When we reached this tree, Legrand turned to Jupiter, and asked him if he thought he could climb it. The old man seemed a little staggered by the question, and for some moments made no reply. At length he approached the huge trunk, walked slowly around it and examined it with minute attention. When he had completed his scrutiny, he merely said:
The natural platform we had climbed onto was thickly covered with brambles, and we soon realized it would have been impossible to push through without the scythe. Jupiter, following his master's instructions, started to clear a path for us to the base of an incredibly tall tulip tree, which stood alongside about eight or ten oaks on the level ground. It was far more impressive than all of them and any other trees I had seen, with its beautiful foliage and shape, the wide spread of its branches, and the overall grandeur of its appearance. When we reached this tree, Legrand turned to Jupiter and asked if he thought he could climb it. The old man seemed a bit taken aback by the question and was silent for a few moments. Finally, he walked up to the massive trunk, slowly circled it, and examined it closely. After finishing his inspection, he simply said:
"Yes, massa, Jup climb any tree he eber see in he life."
"Yeah, boss, Jup can climb any tree he’s ever seen in his life."
"Then up with you as soon as possible for it will soon be too dark to see what we are about."
"Then get up as soon as you can because it will soon be too dark to see what we're doing."
"How far mus' go up, massa?" inquired Jupiter.
"How far do I have to go up, sir?" asked Jupiter.
"Get up the main trunk first, and then I will tell you which way to go—and here—stop! take this beetle with you."
"Climb up the main trunk first, and then I'll tell you which way to go—and wait—take this beetle with you."
"De bug, Massa Will!—de goole-bug!" cried the negro, drawing back in dismay—"what for mus tote de bug way up de tree?—d—n if I do!"
"That bug, Mr. Will! — that creepy bug!" shouted the Black man, stepping back in alarm. "Why do I have to carry the bug way up the tree?—no way I'm doing that!"
"If you are afraid, Jup, a great big negro like you, to take hold of a harmless little dead beetle, why you can carry it up by this string—but, if you do not take it up with you in some way, I shall be under the necessity of breaking your head with this shovel."
"If you're scared, Jup, a big guy like you, to pick up a harmless little dead beetle, then you can just carry it by this string—but if you don’t take it with you somehow, I'll have to break your head with this shovel."
"What de matter now, massa?" said Jup, evidently shamed into compliance; "always want for to raise fuss wid old nigger. Was only funnin, anyhow. Me feered de bug! what I keer for de bug?" Here he took cautiously hold of the extreme end of the string, and, maintaining the insect as far from his person as circumstances would permit, prepared to ascend the tree.
"What’s the matter now, boss?" said Jup, clearly embarrassed into going along with it; "always wanting to stir up trouble with an old guy. I was just fooling around anyway. I’m scared of the bug! What do I care about the bug?" He then carefully grabbed the very end of the string and, keeping the insect as far away from himself as possible, got ready to climb the tree.
In youth, the tulip-tree, or Liriodendron Tulipiferum, the most magnificent of American foresters, has a trunk peculiarly smooth, and often rises to a great height without lateral branches; but, in its riper age, the bark becomes gnarled and uneven, while many short limbs make their appearance on the stem. Thus the difficulty of ascension, in the present case, lay more in semblance than in reality. Embracing the huge cylinder, as closely as possible with his arms and knees, seizing with his hands some projections, and resting his naked toes upon others, Jupiter, after one or two narrow escapes from falling, at length wriggled himself into the first great fork, and seemed to consider the whole business as virtually accomplished. The risk of the achievement was, in fact, now over, although the climber was some sixty or seventy feet from the ground.
In youth, the tulip tree, or Liriodendron Tulipiferum, the most impressive of American trees, has a uniquely smooth trunk and often grows to a great height without side branches. However, as it ages, the bark becomes gnarled and uneven, and many short limbs start to appear on the trunk. So, the challenge of climbing it was more about appearance than reality. Wrapping his arms and knees tightly around the massive trunk, grabbing onto any protrusions, and resting his bare toes on others, Jupiter, after a couple of close calls with falling, finally wriggled himself into the first major fork and seemed to think the hardest part was done. The risk of the climb was, in fact, now over, even though the climber was still about sixty or seventy feet off the ground.
"Which way mus go now, Massa Will?" he asked.
"Which way should I go now, Master Will?" he asked.
"Keep up the largest branch—the one on this side," said Legrand. The negro obeyed him promptly, and apparently with but little trouble; ascending higher and higher, until no glimpse of his squat figure could be obtained through the dense foliage which enveloped it. Presently his voice was heard in a sort of halloo.
"Keep going with the biggest branch—the one on this side," said Legrand. The man quickly followed his instruction, seemingly without much difficulty, climbing higher and higher until his short figure disappeared completely among the thick leaves surrounding him. Soon after, his voice was heard calling out.
"How much fudder is got for go?"
"How much food is available for the journey?"
"How high up are you?" asked Legrand.
"How high up are you?" Legrand asked.
"Ebber so fur," replied the negro; "can see de sky fru de top ob de tree."
"Ever so far," replied the Black man; "I can see the sky through the top of the tree."
"Never mind the sky, but attend to what I say. Look down the trunk and count the limbs below you on this side. How many limbs have you passed?"
"Forget about the sky and focus on what I'm saying. Look down the tree trunk and count the branches on this side. How many branches have you passed?"
"One, two, tree, four, fibe—I done pass fibe big limb, massa, 'pon dis side."
"One, two, three, four, five—I just passed five big branches, sir, on this side."
"Then go one limb higher."
"Then reach one limb higher."
In a few minutes the voice was heard again, announcing that the seventh limb was attained.
In a few minutes, the voice was heard again, announcing that the seventh limb had been reached.
"Now, Jup," cried Legrand, evidently much excited, "I want you to work your way out upon that limb as far as you can. If you see anything strange let me know."
"Now, Jup," yelled Legrand, clearly very excited, "I need you to climb out on that branch as far as you can. If you spot anything weird, tell me."
By this time what little doubt I might have entertained of my poor friend's insanity was put finally at rest. I had no alternative but to conclude him stricken with lunacy, and I became seriously anxious about getting him home. While I was pondering upon what was best to be done, Jupiter's voice was again heard.
By this point, any doubts I had about my poor friend's sanity were completely gone. I had no choice but to conclude that he was insane, and I became really worried about getting him home. As I thought about what to do next, I heard Jupiter's voice again.
"Mos feered for to ventur pon dis limb berry far—'tis dead limb putty much all de way."
"Mos was afraid to venture on this limb very far—it's pretty much a dead limb all the way."
"Did you say it was a dead limb, Jupiter?" cried Legrand in a quavering voice.
"Did you just say it was a dead limb, Jupiter?" Legrand shouted, his voice shaking.
"Yes, massa, him dead as de door-nail—done up for sartin—done departed dis here life."
"Yes, boss, he's dead as a doornail—definitely—he’s left this life for sure."
"What in the name of heaven shall I do?" asked Legrand, seemingly in the greatest distress.
"What on earth am I going to do?" asked Legrand, looking genuinely upset.
"Do!" said I, glad of an opportunity to interpose a word, "why, come home and go to bed. Come now!—that's a fine fellow. It's getting late, and, besides, you remember your promise."
"Do!" I said, happy for a chance to jump in, "why don't you come home and get some sleep? Come on!—that’s a good guy. It’s getting late, and don’t forget your promise."
"Jupiter," cried he, without heeding me in the least, "do you hear me?"
"Jupiter," he shouted, completely ignoring me, "can you hear me?"
"Yes, Massa Will, hear you ebber so plain."
"Yes, Master Will, I can hear you loud and clear."
"Try the wood well, then, with your knife, and see if you think it very rotten."
"Go ahead and test the wood with your knife, and see if you think it's really rotten."
"Him rotten, massa, sure nuff," replied the negro in a few moments, "but not so berry rotten as mought be. Mought venture our leetle way pon de limb by myself, dat's true."
"Him rotten, boss, for sure," replied the man after a moment, "but not as rotten as it could be. I might manage to go out on the limb by myself, that's true."
"By yourself!—what do you mean?"
"By yourself!—what do you mean?"
"Why, I mean de bug. 'Tis berry hebby bug. Spose I drop him down fuss, and den de limb won't break wid just de weight of one nigger."
"Why, I mean the bug. It's a really heavy bug. Suppose I drop him down first, and then the limb won't break with just the weight of one guy."
"You infernal scoundrel!" cried Legrand, apparently much relieved, "what do you mean by telling me such nonsense as that? As sure as you drop that beetle I'll break your neck. Look here, Jupiter, do you hear me?"
"You crazy scoundrel!" yelled Legrand, looking quite relieved, "what do you mean by saying such nonsense? As sure as you drop that beetle, I’ll break your neck. Listen up, Jupiter, do you hear me?"
"Yes, massa, needn't hollo at poor nigger dat style."
"Yes, sir, there's no need to shout at that poor person like that."
"Well! now listen!—if you will venture out on the limb as far as you think safe, and not let go the beetle, I'll make you a present of a silver dollar as soon as you get down."
"Alright! Now listen!—if you're willing to climb out on the limb as far as you feel comfortable and hold onto the beetle, I'll give you a silver dollar as soon as you come down."
"I'm gwine, Massa Will—deed I is," replied the negro very promptly—"mos out to the eend now."
"I'm going, Master Will—I really am," replied the man promptly—"almost there now."
"Out to the end!" here fairly screamed Legrand; "do you say you are out to the end of that limb?"
"Out to the end!" Legrand shouted, "are you really telling me you're out at the end of that branch?"
"Soon be to the eend, massa—o-o-o-o-oh! Lor-gol-a-mercy! what is dis here pon de tree?"
"Soon to the end, master—o-o-o-o-oh! My goodness! what is this here on the tree?"
"Well!" cried Legrand, highly delighted, "what is it?"
"Well!" exclaimed Legrand, very pleased, "what is it?"
"Why, 'taint noffin but a skull—somebody bin lef him head up de tree, and de crows done gobble ebery bit ob de meat off."
"Why, it's nothing but a skull—somebody left its head up in the tree, and the crows have eaten every bit of the meat off."
"A skull, you say!—very well—how is it fastened to the limb?—what holds it on?"
"A skull, you say!—Alright—how is it attached to the limb?—what keeps it there?"
"Sure nuff, massa; mus look. Why dis berry curious sarcumstance, pon my word—dare's a great big nail in de skull, what fastens ob it on to de tree."
"Sure enough, master; I must look. Why this very curious circumstance, I swear—there's a great big nail in the skull, which fastens it onto the tree."
"Well now, Jupiter, do exactly as I tell you—do you hear?"
"Alright, Jupiter, do exactly what I say—got it?"
"Yes, massa."
"Yes, master."
"Pay attention, then—find the left eye of the skull."
"Pay attention, then—find the left eye of the skull."
"Hum! hoo! dat's good! why dey ain't no eye lef at all."
"Hum! Hoo! That's good! Why isn't there any eye left at all?"
"Curse your stupidity! do you know your right hand from your left?"
"Curse your stupidity! Do you even know your right hand from your left?"
"Yes, I knows dat—knows all about dat—'tis my lef hand what I chops de wood wid."
"Yes, I know that—I know all about that—it’s my left hand that I chop the wood with."
"To be sure! you are left-handed; and your left eye is on the same side as your left hand. Now, I suppose, you can find the left eye of the skull, or the place where the left eye has been. Have you found it?"
"Sure! You’re left-handed, and your left eye is on the same side as your left hand. Now, I guess you can locate the left eye socket of the skull, or where the left eye used to be. Have you found it?"
Here was a long pause. At length the negro asked:
Here was a long pause. Eventually, the man asked:
"Is de lef eye of de skull pon de same side as de lef hand of de skull, too?—cause de skull aint got not a bit ob a hand at all—nebber mind! I got de lef eye now—here de lef eye! what mus do wid it?"
"Is the left eye of the skull on the same side as the left hand of the skull, too?—because the skull doesn't have a hand at all—never mind! I have the left eye now—here's the left eye! What should I do with it?"
"Let the beetle drop through it, as far as the string will reach—but be careful and not let go your hold of the string."
"Let the beetle drop through it as far as the string will reach—but be careful not to let go of the string."
"All dat done, Massa Will; mighty easy ting for to put de bug fru de hole—look out for him dare below!"
"All that done, Master Will; it's super easy to put the bug through the hole—watch out for him down there!"
During this colloquy no portion of Jupiter's person could be seen; but the beetle, which he had suffered to descend, was now visible at the end of the string, and glistened, like a globe of burnished gold, in the last rays of the setting sun, some of which still faintly illumined the eminence upon which we stood. The scarabaeus hung quite clear of any branches, and, if allowed to fall, would have fallen at our feet. Legrand immediately took the scythe, and cleared with it a circular space, three or four yards in diameter, just beneath the insect, and having accomplished this, ordered Jupiter to let go the string and come down from the tree.
During this conversation, we couldn't see any part of Jupiter, but the beetle he had let drop was now visible at the end of the string, shining like a polished gold globe in the last rays of the setting sun, some of which still faintly lit up the hill where we stood. The scarabaeus hung clear of any branches and, if it were to fall, would have landed right at our feet. Legrand quickly took the scythe and cleared a circular area about three or four yards in diameter right under the insect, and after doing this, he told Jupiter to let go of the string and come down from the tree.
Driving a peg, with great nicety, into the ground, at the precise spot where the beetle fell, my friend now produced from his pocket a tape-measure. Fastening one end of this at that point of the trunk of the tree which was nearest the peg, he unrolled it till it reached the peg and thence further unrolled it, in the direction already established by the two points of the tree and the peg, for the distance of fifty feet—Jupiter clearing away the brambles with the scythe. At the spot thus attained a second peg was driven, and about this, as a centre, a rude circle, about four feet in diameter, described. Taking now a spade himself, and giving one to Jupiter and one to me, Legrand begged us to set about digging as quickly as possible.
Driving a peg, with great precision, into the ground at the exact spot where the beetle fell, my friend took out a tape measure from his pocket. He secured one end of it at the nearest point on the tree trunk to the peg, then unrolled it until it reached the peg and continued further in the direction already established by the two points of the tree and the peg for a distance of fifty feet—Jupiter clearing away the underbrush with a scythe. At the spot reached, a second peg was driven in, and around this, as a center, a rough circle about four feet in diameter was drawn. Taking a spade for himself and giving one to Jupiter and one to me, Legrand urged us to start digging as quickly as we could.
To speak the truth, I had no especial relish for such amusement at any time, and, at that particular moment, would willingly have declined it; for the night was coming on, and I felt much fatigued with the exercise already taken; but I saw no mode of escape, and was fearful of disturbing my poor friend's equanimity by a refusal. Could I have depended, indeed, upon Jupiter's aid, I would have had no hesitation in attempting to get the lunatic home by force; but I was too well assured of the old negro's disposition to hope that he would assist me, under any circumstances, in a personal contest with his master. I made no doubt that the latter had been infected with some of the innumerable Southern superstitions about money buried, and that his phantasy had received confirmation by the finding of the scarabaeus, or, perhaps, by Jupiter's obstinacy in maintaining it to be "a bug of real gold." A mind disposed to lunacy would readily be led away by such suggestions—especially if chiming in with favorite preconceived ideas—and then I called to mind the poor fellow's speech about the beetle's being "the index of his fortune." Upon the whole, I was sadly vexed and puzzled, but, at length, I concluded to make a virtue of necessity—to dig with a good will, and thus the sooner to convince the visionary, by ocular demonstration, of the fallacy of the opinion he entertained.
To be honest, I never really enjoyed that kind of fun, and at that moment, I would have gladly passed on it; the night was falling, and I was feeling pretty worn out from the exercise I had already done. However, I saw no way to escape and was worried about upsetting my poor friend's calmness by saying no. If I could have relied on Jupiter's help, I would have had no problem trying to force the madman to go home; but I knew the old black man's character well enough to doubt he would support me in any kind of physical struggle with his master. I was sure that the latter had been influenced by some of the countless Southern superstitions about buried treasure, and that his delusion had been reinforced by finding the scarabaeus, or maybe by Jupiter stubbornly insisting it was "a bug made of real gold." A mind prone to madness would easily be swayed by such ideas—especially if they aligned with existing beliefs—and I remembered the poor guy's claim that the beetle was "the key to his fortune." Overall, I was really frustrated and confused, but eventually, I decided to make the best of the situation—to dig with a willing spirit, hoping to quickly show the dreamer, through direct evidence, that his belief was mistaken.
The lanterns having been lit, we all fell to work with a zeal worthy a more rational cause; and, as the glare fell upon our persons and implements, I could not help thinking how picturesque a group we composed, and how strange and suspicious our labors must have appeared to any interloper who, by chance, might have stumbled upon our whereabout.
The lanterns were lit, and we all got to work with a passion that deserved a more reasonable cause; as the light shone on us and our tools, I couldn't help but think how striking we looked as a group, and how odd and suspicious our activities must have seemed to anyone who might have accidentally come across us.
We dug very steadily for two hours. Little was said; and our chief embarrassment lay in the yelpings of the dog, who took exceeding interest in our proceedings. He, at length, became so obstreperous that we grew fearful of his giving the alarm to some stragglers in the vicinity—or, rather, this was the apprehension of Legrand;—for myself, I should have rejoiced at any interruption which might have enabled me to get the wanderer home. The noise was, at length, very effectually silenced by Jupiter, who, getting out of the hole with a dogged air of deliberation, tied the brute's mouth up with one of his suspenders, and then returned, with a grave chuckle, to his task.
We dug steadily for two hours. Not much was said, and our main problem was the barking of the dog, who was really interested in what we were doing. Eventually, he became so noisy that we worried he might alert any stragglers nearby—though it was Legrand who was mostly concerned about this; as for me, I would have welcomed any interruption that could have helped me get the dog home. Eventually, Jupiter managed to quiet the noise effectively. With a determined look, he climbed out of the hole, tied the dog's mouth shut with one of his suspenders, and then returned to his task with a serious chuckle.
When the time mentioned had expired, we had reached a depth of five feet, and yet no signs of any treasure became manifest. A general pause ensued, and I began to hope that the farce was at an end. Legrand, however, although evidently much disconcerted, wiped his brow thoughtfully and recommenced. We had excavated the entire circle of four feet diameter, and now we slightly enlarged the limit, and went to the further depth of two feet. Still nothing appeared. The gold-seeker, whom I sincerely pitied, at length clambered from the pit, with the bitterest disappointment imprinted upon every feature, and proceeded, slowly and reluctantly, to put on his coat, which he had thrown off at the beginning of his labor. In the meantime I made no remark. Jupiter, at a signal from his master, began to gather up his tools. This done, and the dog having been unmuzzled, we turned in profound silence toward home.
When the time was up, we had reached a depth of five feet, but there were still no signs of any treasure. A general pause followed, and I started to hope that the charade was finally over. Legrand, however, clearly frustrated, wiped his brow thoughtfully and started again. We had dug up the entire circle with a diameter of four feet, and now we slightly widened the area and went down another two feet. Still, nothing showed up. The gold-seeker, whom I truly felt sorry for, finally climbed out of the pit, disappointment etched on his face, and slowly and reluctantly began to put on the coat he had taken off at the start of his work. In the meantime, I didn’t say anything. Jupiter, at a signal from his master, started to pack up his tools. Once that was done, and the dog had been unmuzzled, we walked home in deep silence.
We had taken, perhaps, a dozen steps in this direction, when, with a loud oath, Legrand strode up to Jupiter, and seized him by the collar. The astonished negro opened his eyes and mouth to the fullest extent, let fall the spades, and fell upon his knees.
We had taken maybe a dozen steps in that direction when, with a loud curse, Legrand marched up to Jupiter and grabbed him by the collar. The surprised guy opened his eyes and mouth wide, dropped the shovels, and fell to his knees.
"You scoundrel!" said Legrand, hissing out the syllables from between his clinched teeth—"you infernal black villain!—speak, I tell you!—answer me this instant, without prevarication!—which—which is your left eye?"
"You scoundrel!" Legrand said, hissing the words between his clenched teeth—"you damn black villain!—speak, I tell you!—answer me right now, no dodging!—which—which is your left eye?"
"Oh, my golly, Massa Will! aint dis here my lef eye for attain?" roared the terrified Jupiter, placing his hand upon his right organ of vision, and holding it there with a desperate pertinacity, as if in immediate dread of his master's attempt at a gouge.
"Oh my gosh, Master Will! Isn’t this my left eye for sure?" shouted the frightened Jupiter, pressing his hand against his right eye and holding it there with desperate determination, as if he were in immediate fear of his master's attempt to poke it out.
"I thought so!—I knew it! hurrah!" vociferated Legrand, letting the negro go and executing a series of curvets and caracols, much to the astonishment of his valet, who, arising from his knees, looked, mutely, from his master to myself, and then from myself to his master.
"I knew it! I knew it! Yes!" shouted Legrand, letting the guy go and doing a series of jumps and twirls, much to the surprise of his servant, who got up from his knees and looked silently from his master to me, and then from me back to his master.
"Come! we must go back," said the latter, "the game's not up yet;" and he again led the way to the tulip-tree.
"Come on! We need to go back," said the other, "the game's not over yet;" and he once again led the way to the tulip tree.
"Jupiter," said he, when we reached its foot, "come here! was the skull nailed to the limb with the face outward, or with the face to the limb?"
"Jupiter," he said as we got to the base, "come here! Was the skull nailed to the branch with the face outward, or facing the branch?"
"De face was out, massa, so dat de crows could get at de eyes good, widout any trouble."
"His face was gone, boss, so the crows could get at the eyes easily, without any hassle."
"Well, then, was it this eye or that through which you dropped the beetle?" here Legrand touched each of Jupiter's eyes.
"Well, then, was it this eye or that one through which you dropped the beetle?" Legrand asked, touching each of Jupiter's eyes.
"'Twas dis eye, massa—de lef eye—jis as you tell me," and here it was his right eye that the negro indicated.
"'Twas this eye, sir—the left eye—just like you told me," and here it was his right eye that the man pointed to.
"That will do—we must try it again."
"That’s enough—we need to give it another shot."
Here my friend, about whose madness I now saw, or fancied that I saw, certain indications of method, removed the peg which marked the spot where the beetle fell, to a spot about three inches to the westward of its former position. Taking, now, the tape measure from the nearest point of the trunk to the peg, as before, and continuing the extension in a straight line to the distance of fifty feet, a spot was indicated, removed, by several yards, from the point at which we had been digging.
Here, my friend, whose madness I thought I was starting to notice some method in, moved the marker that indicated where the beetle had fallen to a spot about three inches to the west of its original position. Taking the tape measure from the closest point of the trunk to the marker, as before, we continued the line straight out for fifty feet, which pointed to a location that was several yards away from where we had been digging.
Around the new position a circle, somewhat larger than in the former instance, was now described, and we again set to work with the spade. I was dreadfully weary, but, scarcely understanding what had occasioned the change in my thoughts, I felt no longer any great aversion from the labor imposed. I had become most unaccountably interested—nay, even excited. Perhaps there was something, amid all the extravagant demeanor of Legrand—some air of forethought, or of deliberation, which impressed me. I dug eagerly, and now and then caught myself actually looking, with something that very much resembled expectation, for the fancied treasure, the vision of which had demented my unfortunate companion. At a period when such vagaries of thought most fully possessed me, and when we had been at work perhaps an hour and a half, we were again interrupted by the violent howlings of the dog. His uneasiness, in the first instance, had been, evidently, but the result of playfulness or caprice, but he now assumed a bitter and serious tone. Upon Jupiter's again attempting to muzzle him, he made furious resistance, and, leaping into the hole, tore up the mould frantically with his claws. In a few seconds he had uncovered a mass of human bones, forming two complete skeletons, intermingled with several buttons of metal, and what appeared to be the dust of decayed woollen. One or two strokes of a spade upturned the blade of a large Spanish knife, and, as we dug further, three or four loose pieces of gold and silver coin came to light.
Around the new spot, we drew a circle that was a bit larger than before, and we got back to work with the spade. I was extremely tired, but for some reason, I didn’t feel as strongly opposed to the labor anymore. I had become oddly interested—almost excited. Maybe it was something about Legrand’s wild behavior—some hint of careful planning or thoughtfulness—that caught my attention. I dug with enthusiasm and occasionally found myself looking forward, almost expectantly, for the imagined treasure that had driven my unfortunate companion insane. At a moment when these strange thoughts were consuming me, and after we’d been working for about an hour and a half, we were interrupted again by the dog’s intense howling. Initially, his agitation seemed playful or whimsical, but now he had a more serious and urgent demeanor. When Jupiter tried to hold him back again, he fought back fiercely, jumping into the hole and frantically clawing at the dirt. In seconds, he uncovered a pile of human bones, revealing two complete skeletons mixed with several metal buttons and what looked like the dust of decayed wool. A couple of strokes with the spade revealed the blade of a large Spanish knife, and as we dug deeper, we uncovered three or four loose pieces of gold and silver coins.
At sight of these the joy of Jupiter could scarcely be restrained, but the countenance of his master wore an air of extreme disappointment. He urged us, however, to continue our exertions, and the words were hardly uttered when I stumbled and fell forward, having caught the toe of my boot in a large ring of iron that lay half buried in the loose earth.
At the sight of these, Jupiter's joy was barely contained, but his master looked extremely disappointed. He encouraged us to keep trying, and as soon as he finished speaking, I tripped and fell forward, having caught the toe of my boot on a large iron ring that was half-buried in the loose dirt.
We now worked in earnest, and never did I pass ten minutes of more intense excitement. During this interval we had fairly unearthed an oblong chest of wood, which, from its perfect preservation and wonderful hardness, had plainly been subjected to some mineralizing process—perhaps that of the bi-chloride of mercury. This box was three feet and a half long, three feet broad, and two and a half feet deep. It was firmly secured by bands of wrought iron, riveted, and forming a kind of open trellis-work over the whole. On each side of the chest, near the top, were three rings of iron—six in all—by means of which a firm hold could be obtained by six persons. Our utmost united endeavors served only to disturb the coffer very slightly in its bed. We at once saw the impossibility of removing so great a weight. Luckily, the sole fastenings of the lid consisted of two sliding bolts. These we drew back—trembling and panting with anxiety. In an instant, a treasure of incalculable value lay gleaming before us. As the rays of the lanterns fell within the pit, there flashed upward a glow and a glare, from a confused heap of gold and of jewels, that absolutely dazzled our eyes.
We got to work seriously, and I’ve never felt such intense excitement for ten minutes. During this time, we had uncovered an oblong wooden chest, which, due to its perfect condition and remarkable hardness, clearly underwent some kind of mineralization—maybe from bi-chloride of mercury. The box was three and a half feet long, three feet wide, and two and a half feet deep. It was securely strapped with riveted wrought iron, creating a kind of open trellis over the entire surface. On each side of the chest, near the top, were three iron rings—six in total—allowing a secure grip for six people. Despite our combined efforts, we could only shift the chest slightly in its resting place. We quickly realized that removing such a heavy object was impossible. Fortunately, the lid was only secured by two sliding bolts. We pulled them back—trembling and out of breath with anticipation. In an instant, a treasure of unimaginable value sparkled before us. As the lantern light hit the pit, a brilliant flash emerged from a chaotic pile of gold and jewels that completely blinded us.
I shall not pretend to describe the feelings with which I gazed. Amazement was, of course, predominant. Legrand appeared exhausted with excitement, and spoke very few words. Jupiter's countenance wore, for some minutes, as deadly a pallor as it is possible, in the nature of things, for any negro's visage to assume. He seemed stupefied—thunderstricken. Presently he fell upon his knees in the pit, and burying his naked arms up to the elbows in gold, let them there remain, as if enjoying the luxury of a bath. At length, with a deep sigh, he exclaimed, as if in a soliloquy:
I won’t pretend to describe the feelings I had while I was looking. Amazement, of course, was the main emotion. Legrand seemed drained from excitement and hardly said anything. Jupiter’s face had, for a few minutes, an extremely pale and shocked look, as pale as it’s possible for any Black person's face to be. He looked stunned—like he had been struck by lightning. Eventually, he fell to his knees in the pit and buried his bare arms up to his elbows in gold, leaving them there as if he were enjoying a luxurious bath. Finally, with a deep sigh, he exclaimed, as if talking to himself:
"And dis all cum ob de goole-bug! de putty goole-bug! de poor little goole-bug, what I boosed in that sabage kind ob style! Aint you shamed ob yourself, nigger?—answer me dat!"
"And this all came from the little bug! The pretty little bug! The poor little bug that I boasted about in that savage kind of way! Aren't you ashamed of yourself, you?—answer me that!"
It became necessary, at last, that I should arouse both master and valet to the expediency of removing the treasure. It was growing late, and it behooved us to make exertion, that we might get everything housed before daylight. It was difficult to say what should be done, and much time was spent in deliberation—so confused were the ideas of all. We, finally, lightened the box by removing two-thirds of its contents, when we were enabled, with some trouble, to raise it from the hole. The articles taken out were deposited among the brambles, and the dog left to guard them, with strict orders from Jupiter neither, upon any pretence, to stir from the spot, nor to open his mouth until our return. We then hurriedly made for home with the chest; reaching the hut in safety, but after excessive toil, at one o'clock in the morning. Worn out as we were, it was not in human nature to do more immediately. We rested until two, and had supper; starting for the hills immediately afterward, armed with three stout sacks, which, by good luck, were upon the premises. A little before four we arrived at the pit, divided the remainder of the booty, as equally as might be, among us, and, leaving the holes unfilled, again set out for the hut, at which, for the second time, we deposited our golden burdens, just as the first faint streaks of the dawn gleamed from over the tree-tops in the East.
It finally became necessary for me to get both the master and the valet to see that we needed to move the treasure. It was getting late, and we had to hurry to make sure we got everything stored away before morning. It was hard to decide what to do, and we wasted a lot of time debating—everyone's thoughts were all mixed up. In the end, we lightened the box by taking out two-thirds of its contents, allowing us to lift it out of the hole with some effort. We left the items we took out among the brambles and told the dog to guard them, with strict orders from Jupiter not to move from that spot or make a sound until we came back. We then rushed home with the chest, arriving at the hut safely but after a lot of hard work, around one o’clock in the morning. As exhausted as we were, it wasn't possible to do anything more right away. We rested until two and had supper; then we set out for the hills right afterward, armed with three sturdy sacks that luckily were on the property. A little before four, we got to the pit, divided the rest of the loot as fairly as we could among us, and left the holes unfilled as we headed back to the hut, where we dropped off our golden treasures just as the first faint light of dawn appeared over the tree-tops in the east.
We were now thoroughly broken down; but the intense excitement of the time denied us repose. After an unquiet slumber of some three or four hours' duration, we arose, as if by preconcert, to make examination of our treasure.
We were completely exhausted, but the intense excitement of the moment kept us from resting. After a restless sleep of about three or four hours, we all got up, almost as if we had planned it, to check our treasure.
The chest had been full to the brim, and we spent the whole day, and the greater part of the next night, in a scrutiny of its contents. There had been nothing like order or arrangement. Everything had been heaped in promiscuously. Having assorted all with care, we found ourselves possessed of even vaster wealth than we had at first supposed. In coin, there was rather more than four hundred and fifty thousand dollars—estimating the value of the pieces, as accurately as we could, by the tables of the period. There was not a particle of silver. All was gold of antique date and of great variety—French, Spanish, and German money, with a few English guineas, and some counters, of which we had never seen specimens before. There were several very large and heavy coins, so worn that we could make nothing of their inscriptions. There was no American money. The value of the jewels we found more difficulty in estimating. There were diamonds—some of them exceedingly large and fine—a hundred and ten in all, and not one of them small; eighteen rubies of remarkable brilliancy;—three hundred and ten emeralds, all very beautiful; and twenty-one sapphires, with an opal. These stones had all been broken from their settings and thrown loose in the chest. The settings themselves, which we picked out from among the other gold, appeared to have been beaten up with hammers, as if to prevent identification. Besides all this, there was a vast quantity of solid gold ornaments; nearly two hundred massive finger and ear rings; rich chains—thirty of these, if I remember; eighty-three very large and heavy crucifixes; five gold censers of great value; a prodigious golden punch-bowl, ornamented with richly chased vine-leaves and Bacchanalian figures; with two sword-handles exquisitely embossed, and many other smaller articles which I can not recollect. The weight of these valuables exceeded three hundred and fifty pounds avoirdupois; and in this estimate I have not included one hundred and ninety-seven superb gold watches; three of the number being worth each five hundred dollars, if one. Many of them were very old, and as timekeepers, valueless; the works having suffered, more or less, from corrosion—but all were richly jewelled and in cases of great worth. We estimated the entire contents of the chest, that night, at a million and a half of dollars; and upon the subsequent disposal of the trinkets and jewels (a few being retained for our own use), it was found that we had greatly undervalued the treasure.
The chest was completely full, and we spent the whole day, plus most of the next night, going through its contents. There was no order or organization; everything was just thrown in together. After sorting everything carefully, we realized we had even more wealth than we'd initially thought. In coins, there was a little over four hundred and fifty thousand dollars—estimating their value as accurately as we could by the financial tables of the time. There wasn't any silver; it was all gold, old and diverse—French, Spanish, and German currency, along with a few English guineas, and some tokens we had never seen before. There were several very large and heavy coins, so worn that we couldn't read their inscriptions. There was no American money. Estimating the value of the jewels was more challenging. We found diamonds—some incredibly large and fine—totaling one hundred and ten, and none of them were small; eighteen exceptionally bright rubies; three hundred and ten stunning emeralds; and twenty-one sapphires, along with one opal. These stones had all been removed from their settings and tossed loosely in the chest. The settings themselves, which we sifted through among the other gold, seemed to have been smashed with hammers to avoid identification. Aside from all this, there was a huge amount of solid gold jewelry; nearly two hundred heavy rings for fingers and ears; rich chains—thirty of them, if I recall correctly; eighty-three large and heavy crucifixes; five valuable gold censers; an enormous golden punch bowl, decorated with intricately chased vine leaves and Bacchanalian figures; two sword handles finely embossed; and many other smaller items I can’t remember. The total weight of these valuables exceeded three hundred and fifty pounds; in this estimate, I didn’t even count one hundred and ninety-seven exquisite gold watches, three of which were worth five hundred dollars each, if not more. Many were quite old and, as timekeepers, worthless; the mechanisms had suffered from corrosion to varying degrees—but all were richly jeweled and in valuable cases. That night, we estimated the entire contents of the chest to be worth a million and a half dollars; and when we later sold the trinkets and jewels (keeping a few for ourselves), we found we had significantly undervalued the treasure.
When, at length, we had concluded our examination, and the intense excitement of the time had, in some measure, subsided, Legrand, who saw that I was dying with impatience for a solution of this most extraordinary riddle, entered into a full detail of all the circumstances connected with it.
When we finally finished our examination, and the intense excitement had somewhat calmed down, Legrand, noticing that I was eager for a solution to this very strange riddle, went into detail about all the circumstances related to it.
"You remember," said he, "the night when I handed you the rough sketch I had made of the scarabaeus. You recollect, also, that I became quite vexed at you for insisting that my drawing resembled a death's-head. When you first made this assertion I thought you were jesting; but afterward I called to mind the peculiar spots on the back of the insect, and admitted to myself that your remark had some little foundation in fact. Still, the sneer at my graphic powers irritated me—for I am considered a good artist—and, therefore, when you handed me the scrap of parchment, I was about to crumple it up and throw it angrily into the fire."
"You remember," he said, "the night I gave you the rough sketch I made of the scarabaeus? You also remember that I got really annoyed with you for saying my drawing looked like a death's-head. When you first said that, I thought you were joking, but then I remembered the strange spots on the back of the insect and had to admit that your comment had some truth to it. Still, the jab at my artistic skills bothered me—because I'm considered a good artist—so when you handed me the piece of parchment, I was ready to crumple it up and toss it angrily into the fire."
"The scrap of paper, you mean," said I.
"The piece of paper, you mean," I said.
"No; it had much of the appearance of paper, and at first I supposed it to be such, but when I came to draw upon it, I discovered it at once to be a piece of very thin parchment. It was quite dirty, you remember. Well, as I was in the very act of crumpling it up, my glance fell upon the sketch at which you had been looking, and you may imagine my astonishment when I perceived, in fact, the figure of a death's-head just where, it seemed to me, I had made the drawing of the beetle. For a moment I was too much amazed to think with accuracy. I knew that my design was very different in detail from this—although there was a certain similarity in general outline. Presently I took a candle, and seating myself at the other end of the room, proceeded to scrutinize the parchment more closely. Upon turning it over, I saw my own sketch upon the reverse, just as I had made it. My first idea, now, was mere surprise at the really remarkable similarity of outline—at the singular coincidence involved in the fact that, unknown to me, there should have been a skull upon the other side of the parchment, immediately beneath my figure of the scarabaeus, and that this skull, not only in outline but in size, should so closely resemble my drawing. I say the singularity of this coincidence absolutely stupefied me for a time. This is the usual effect of such coincidences. The mind struggles to establish a connection—a sequence of cause and effect—and, being unable to do so, suffers a species of temporary paralysis. But, when I recovered from this stupor, there dawned upon me gradually a conviction which startled me even far more than the coincidence. I began distinctly, positively, to remember that there had been no drawing upon the parchment when I made my sketch of the scarabaeus. I became perfectly certain of this; for I recollected turning up first one side and then the other, in search of the cleanest spot. Had the skull been then there, of course I could not have failed to notice it. Here was indeed a mystery which I felt it impossible to explain; but, even at that early moment, there seemed to glimmer, faintly, within the most remote and secret chambers of my intellect, a glow-worm-like conception of that truth which last night's adventure brought to so magnificent a demonstration. I arose at once, and, putting the parchment securely away, dismissed all further reflection until I should be alone.
"No; it looked a lot like paper, and at first I thought it was, but when I tried to write on it, I realized it was actually a piece of very thin parchment. It was pretty dirty, you remember. As I was about to crumple it up, I noticed the sketch you had been looking at, and you can imagine my shock when I saw the figure of a skull right where I thought I had drawn the beetle. For a moment, I was too stunned to think straight. I knew my design had a lot of differences in detail from this one—although there was a certain similarity in the general shape. Then I took a candle, sat at the other end of the room, and started to examine the parchment more closely. When I flipped it over, I saw my original sketch on the back, just as I had made it. My first reaction was pure surprise at how strikingly similar the outlines were—at the strange coincidence that, unbeknownst to me, there was a skull on the other side of the parchment, right beneath my drawing of the beetle, and that this skull not only matched in outline but also in size with my drawing. I was truly baffled by this coincidence for a while. This is the typical effect of such coincidences. The mind tries to find a connection—a cause-and-effect sequence—and when it can’t, it experiences a kind of temporary paralysis. But once I snapped out of this daze, I gradually began to realize a conviction that startled me even more than the coincidence itself. I started to distinctly remember that there had been no drawing on the parchment when I sketched the beetle. I was completely sure of this; I remembered flipping it over, looking for the cleanest spot. If the skull had been there, I definitely would have noticed it. This was indeed a mystery I felt was impossible to explain; but even at that early moment, it seemed like there was a faint glimmer in the deepest corners of my mind, hinting at the truth that last night's event demonstrated so dramatically. I stood up right away, securely put the parchment away, and pushed all further thoughts aside until I could be alone."
"When you had gone, and when Jupiter was fast asleep, I betook myself to a more methodical investigation of the affair. In the first place, I considered the manner in which the parchment had come into my possession. The spot where we discovered the scarabaeus was on the coast of the mainland, about a mile eastward of the island, and but a short distance above high-water mark. Upon my taking hold of it, it gave me a sharp bite, which caused me to let it drop. Jupiter, with his accustomed caution, before seizing the insect, which had flown toward him, looked about him for a leaf, or something of that nature, by which to take hold of it. It was at this moment that his eyes, and mine also, fell upon the scrap of parchment, which I then supposed to be paper. It was lying half buried in the sand, a corner sticking up. Near the spot where we found it, I observed the remnants of the hull of what appeared to have been a ship's long-boat. The wreck seemed to have been there for a very great while; for the resemblance to boat timbers could scarcely be traced.
"When you left and Jupiter was fast asleep, I took a more organized approach to investigate the situation. First, I thought about how I ended up with the parchment. We found the scarabaeus on the mainland coast, about a mile east of the island, and just above the high-water mark. When I picked it up, it gave me a sharp bite, which made me drop it. Jupiter, being cautious as usual, searched for a leaf or something similar before grabbing the insect that had flown towards him. At that moment, both our eyes landed on a piece of parchment, which I initially thought was paper. It was half-buried in the sand, with a corner sticking out. Close to where we found it, I noticed the remains of what seemed to be a ship's long-boat. The wreck looked like it had been there for a long time; the shape of the boat's timber was barely recognizable."
"Well, Jupiter picked up the parchment, wrapped the beetle in it, and gave it to me. Soon afterward we turned to go home, and on the way met Lieutenant G——. I showed him the insect, and he begged me to let him take it to the fort. Upon my consenting, he thrust it forthwith into his waistcoat pocket, without the parchment in which it had been wrapped, and which I had continued to hold in my hand during his inspection. Perhaps he dreaded my changing my mind, and thought it best to make sure of the prize at once—you know how enthusiastic he is on all subjects connected with Natural History. At the same time, without being conscious of it, I must have deposited the parchment in my own pocket.
"Well, Jupiter picked up the paper, wrapped the beetle in it, and gave it to me. Soon after that, we started heading home and ran into Lieutenant G——. I showed him the insect, and he asked me to let him take it to the fort. When I agreed, he immediately shoved it into his waistcoat pocket, leaving behind the paper it had been wrapped in, which I had kept in my hand during his inspection. Maybe he was worried I would change my mind and thought it was best to secure the prize right away—you know how passionate he is about anything related to Natural History. At the same time, without realizing it, I must have put the paper in my own pocket.
"You remember that when I went to the table for the purpose of making a sketch of the beetle, I found no paper where it was usually kept. I looked in the drawer, and found none there. I searched my pockets, hoping to find an old letter, when my hand fell upon the parchment. I thus detail the precise mode in which it came into my possession; for the circumstances impressed me with peculiar force.
"You remember when I went to the table to make a sketch of the beetle, I didn’t find any paper where it usually was. I checked the drawer, and there wasn’t any there either. I searched my pockets, hoping to find an old letter, and that's when I discovered the parchment. I’m sharing exactly how it came into my possession because the circumstances had a strong impact on me."
"No doubt you will think me fanciful—but I had already established a kind of connection. I had put together two links of a great chain. There was a boat lying upon a seacoast, and not far from the boat was a parchment—not a paper—with a skull depicted upon it. You will, of course, ask 'where is the connection?' I reply that the skull, or death's-head, is the well-known emblem of the pirate. The flag of the death's-head is hoisted in all engagements.
"No doubt you’ll think I’m being fanciful—but I had already formed a kind of connection. I had linked two pieces of a larger puzzle. There was a boat on the shore, and not far from the boat was a parchment—not a piece of paper—with a skull drawn on it. You will, of course, ask 'where's the connection?' I respond that the skull, or death’s head, is a well-known symbol of piracy. The death’s-head flag is raised in all battles."
"I have said that the scrap was parchment, and not paper. Parchment is durable—almost imperishable. Matters of little moment are rarely consigned to parchment; since, for the mere ordinary purposes of drawing or writing, it is not nearly so well adapted as paper. This reflection suggested some meaning—some relevancy—in the death's-head. I did not fail to observe, also, the form of the parchment. Although one of its corners had been, by some accident, destroyed, it could be seen that the original form was oblong. It was just such a slip, indeed, as might have been chosen for a memorandum—for a record of something to be long remembered and carefully preserved."
"I've said that the scrap was parchment, not paper. Parchment is tough—almost lasts forever. Things that aren't important are rarely written on parchment; for everyday drawing or writing, paper is much better suited. This thought gave some significance—some relevance—to the skull. I also noticed the shape of the parchment. Even though one corner had been accidentally damaged, it was clear that the original shape was rectangular. It was exactly the kind of piece that could have been used for a note—for a record of something meant to be remembered and carefully kept."
"But," I interposed, "you say that the skill was not upon the parchment when you made the drawing of the beetle. How then do you trace any connection between the boat and the skull—-since this latter, according to your own admission, must have been designed (God only knows how or by whom) at some period subsequent to your sketching the scarabaeus?"
"But," I interrupted, "you said that the skill wasn't on the parchment when you drew the beetle. So how do you link the boat and the skull—since, as you admit, the skull must have been created (God only knows how or by whom) at some time after you sketched the scarabaeus?"
"Ah, hereupon turns the whole mystery; although the secret, at this point, I had comparatively little difficulty in solving. My steps were sure, and could afford but a single result I reasoned, for example, thus: When I drew the scarabaeus, there was no skull apparent upon the parchment When I had completed the drawing I gave it to you, and observed you narrowly until you returned it. You, therefore, did not design the skull, and no one else was present to do it. Then it was not done by human agency. And nevertheless it was done.
"Ah, this is where the entire mystery unfolds; at this point, I had relatively little trouble figuring it out. My steps were confident, leading me to only one conclusion. I reasoned like this: When I drew the scarabaeus, there was no skull visible on the parchment. After finishing the drawing, I handed it to you and watched you closely until you returned it. Therefore, you didn't create the skull, and no one else was there to do it. So, it wasn’t done by human hands. And yet, it was done."
"At this stage of my reflections I endeavored to remember, and did remember, with entire distinctness, every incident which occurred about the period in question. The weather was chilly (oh, rare and happy accident!), and a fire was blazing upon the hearth. I was heated with exercise and sat near the table. You, however, had drawn a chair close to the chimney. Just as I placed the parchment in your hand, and as you were in the act of inspecting it, Wolf, the Newfoundland, entered, and leaped upon your shoulders. With your left hand you caressed him and kept him off, while your right, holding the parchment, was permitted to fall listlessly between your knees, and in close proximity to the fire. At one moment I thought the blaze had caught it, and was about to caution you, but, before I could speak, you had withdrawn it, and were engaged in its examination. When I considered all these particulars, I doubted not for a moment that heat had been the agent in bringing to light, upon the parchment, the skull which I saw designed upon it. You are well aware that chemical preparations exist, and have existed time out of mind, by means of which it is possible to write upon either paper or vellum, so that the characters shall become visible only when subjected to the action of fire. Zaffre, digested in aqua regia, and diluted with four times its weight of water, is sometimes employed; a green tint results. The regulus of cobalt, dissolved in spirit of nitre, gives a red. These colors disappear at longer or shorter intervals after the material written upon cools, but again become apparent upon the reapplication of heat.
At this point in my thoughts, I tried to remember, and did recall clearly, every detail that happened during that time. The weather was chilly (oh, what a rare and wonderful coincidence!), and a fire was crackling in the hearth. I was warmed up from my exercise and sat near the table. You, however, had pulled a chair close to the fireplace. Just as I handed you the parchment and you were inspecting it, Wolf, the Newfoundland, came in and jumped onto your shoulders. With your left hand, you petted him while pushing him away, and your right hand, which was holding the parchment, dropped carelessly between your knees, close to the fire. For a moment, I thought the flames had caught it and was about to warn you, but before I could say anything, you pulled it back and focused on examining it. Considering all these details, I had no doubt that the heat had revealed, on the parchment, the skull that I saw drawn on it. You know that there are chemical preparations that have existed for ages, allowing writing on either paper or parchment so that the characters only become visible when exposed to fire. Zaffre, dissolved in aqua regia and diluted with four times its weight in water, is sometimes used to create a green tint. The regulus of cobalt, dissolved in nitric acid, gives a red tint. These colors fade after varying periods once the material cools down, but they become visible again when heat is reapplied.
"I now scrutinized the death's-head with care. Its outer edges—the edges of the drawing nearest the edge of the vellum—were far more distinct than the others. It was clear that the action of the caloric had been imperfect or unequal. I immediately kindled a fire, and subjected every portion of the parchment to a glowing heat. At first, the only effect was the strengthening of the faint lines in the skull; but, upon persevering in the experiment, there became visible, at the corner of the slip, diagonally opposite to the spot in which the death's-head was delineated, the figure of what I at first supposed to be a goat. A closer scrutiny, however, satisfied me that it was intended for a kid."
"I carefully examined the skull drawing. Its outer edges—the parts of the drawing closest to the edge of the parchment—were much clearer than the rest. It was obvious that the heat application was inconsistent. I quickly made a fire and exposed every part of the parchment to intense heat. Initially, the only result was that the faint lines of the skull became stronger; but as I continued the experiment, I noticed, at the corner of the slip, diagonally opposite the area where the skull was drawn, what I first thought was a goat. A closer look, however, convinced me that it was meant to be a young goat."
"Ha! ha!" said I, "to be sure I have no right to laugh at you—a million and a half of money is too serious a matter for mirth—but you are not about to establish a third link in your chain—you will not find any especial connection between your pirates and a goat—pirates, you know, have nothing to do with goats; they appertain to the farming interest."
"Ha! ha!" I said, "I know I shouldn't laugh at you—a million and a half dollars is way too serious to joke about—but you won’t create a third link in your argument—you won't find any real connection between your pirates and a goat—pirates, you see, have nothing to do with goats; they belong to farming."
"But I have just said that the figure was not that of a goat."
"But I just said that the figure was not that of a goat."
"Well, a kid, then—pretty much the same thing."
"Well, a kid, then—it's basically the same thing."
"Pretty much, but not altogether," said Legrand. "You may have heard of one Captain Kidd. I at once looked upon the figure of the animal as a kind of punning or hieroglyphical signature. I say signature, because, its position upon the vellum suggested this idea. The death's-head at the corner diagonally opposite, had, in the same manner, the air of a stamp, or seal. But I was sorely put out by the absence of all else—of the body to my imagined instrument—of the text for my context."
"Pretty much, but not completely," said Legrand. "You might have heard of a guy named Captain Kidd. I immediately thought of the shape of the animal as a sort of clever or symbolic signature. I call it a signature because its placement on the paper gave me that impression. The skull in the corner diagonally opposite also looked like a stamp or seal. But I was really frustrated by the lack of everything else—like the body to my imagined tool—like the text for my context."
"I presume you expected to find a letter between the stamp and the signature."
"I guess you thought there would be a letter between the stamp and the signature."
"Something of that kind. The fact is, I felt irresistibly impressed with a presentiment of some vast good fortune impending. I can scarcely say why. Perhaps, after all, it was rather a desire than an actual belief;—but do you know that Jupiter's silly words, about the bug being of solid gold, had a remarkable effect upon my fancy? And then the series of accidents and coincidents—these were so very extraordinary. Do you observe how mere an accident it was that these events should have occurred upon the sole day of all the year in which it has been, or may be sufficiently cool for foe, and that without the fire, or without the intervention of the dog at the precise moment in which he appeared, I should never have become aware of the death's-head, and so never the possessor of the treasure?"
"Something like that. The truth is, I felt a strong sense that something great was about to happen. I can't really explain why. Maybe it was more of a wish than a real belief; but did you know that Jupiter's silly comment about the bug being solid gold really sparked my imagination? And then there were the series of accidents and coincidences—they were so very unusual. Do you see how random it was that these events happened on the only day of the year when it’s actually cool enough for a fire, and that without the fire, or without the dog showing up at the exact moment he did, I would have never noticed the skull, and so never discovered the treasure?"
"But proceed—I am all impatience."
"But go ahead—I can't wait."
"Well; you have heard, of course, the many stories current—the thousand vague rumors afloat about money buried, somewhere upon the Atlantic coast, by Kidd and his associates. These rumors must have had some foundation in fact. And that the rumors have existed so long and so continuously, could have resulted, it appeared to me, only from the circumstance of the buried treasures still remaining entombed. Had Kidd concealed his plunder for a time, and afterward reclaimed it, the rumors would scarcely have reached us in their present unvarying form. You will observe that the stories told are all about money-seekers, not about money-finders. Had the pirate recovered his money, there the affair would have dropped. It seemed to me that some accident—say the loss of a memorandum indicating its locality—had deprived him of the means of recovering it, and that this accident had become known to his followers, who otherwise might never have heard that the treasure had been concealed at all, and who, busying themselves in vain, because unguided, attempts to regain it, had given first birth, and then universal currency, to the reports which are now so common. Have you ever heard of any important treasure being unearthed along the coast?"
"Well, you've definitely heard all the stories going around—the countless vague rumors about money hidden somewhere on the Atlantic coast by Kidd and his crew. These rumors must have some basis in reality. The fact that they've lasted this long and remained consistent suggests that the buried treasures are still buried. If Kidd had hidden his loot for a while and then retrieved it, these rumors wouldn't have reached us in their current form. You’ll notice that the stories are always about treasure hunters, not treasure finders. If the pirate had gotten his money back, that would have been the end of it. It seems to me that some mishap—like losing a note that indicated where it was—prevented him from recovering it, and that this knowledge spread to his crew, who might never have known the treasure was hidden in the first place. Their futile efforts to find it without guidance probably gave rise to the widespread reports we hear now. Have you ever heard of any significant treasure being found along the coast?"
"Never."
"Never."
"But that Kidd's accumulations were immense, is well known. I took it for granted, therefore, that the earth still held them; and you will scarcely be surprised when I tell you that I felt a hope, nearly amounting to certainty, that the parchment so strangely found involved a lost record of the place of deposit."
"But it’s well known that Kidd's treasures were enormous. So, I just assumed that they were still hidden in the earth; and you probably won’t be surprised when I say that I felt a hope that was almost certain that the parchment we found in such a strange way contained a lost record of where they were buried."
"But how did you proceed?"
"But how did you move forward?"
"I held the vellum again to the fire, after increasing the heat, but nothing appeared. I now thought it possible that the coating of dirt might have something to do with the failure: so I carefully rinsed the parchment by pouring warm water over it, and, having done this, I placed it in a tin pan, with the skull downward, and put the pan upon a furnace of lighted charcoal. In a few minutes, the pan having become thoroughly heated, I removed the slip, and, to my inexpressible joy, found it spotted, in several places, with what appeared to be figures arranged in lines. Again I placed it in the pan, and suffered it to remain another minute. Upon taking it off, the whole was just as you see it now."
"I held the parchment up to the fire again, turning up the heat, but nothing showed up. I started to think that the layer of dirt might be the issue, so I carefully rinsed the parchment by pouring warm water over it. After that, I placed it in a tin pan, with the writing facing down, and put the pan on a furnace of lit charcoal. In a few minutes, once the pan was fully heated, I took out the parchment and, to my immense joy, saw that it was marked in several spots with what looked like figures arranged in lines. I put it back in the pan and let it sit for another minute. When I took it off, it looked just like you see it now."
Here Legrand, having reheated the parchment, submitted it to my inspection. The following characters were rudely traced in a red tint, between the death's-head and the goat:
Here Legrand, after reheating the parchment, showed it to me for inspection. The following characters were roughly traced in red between the skull and the goat:
"53‡‡t3o5))6*;4826)4‡)4‡.;8o6*;48†8¶6o))85 ;1‡(;:‡*8†83(88)5*†;46(;88*96e*?;8)*‡(;485);5*†2:* ‡(;4956*2(5*—4)8¶8*;4o69285);)6†8)4tt;1(‡9;48o81 ;8:8‡1;48t85;4)485†5288o6*81(‡9;48;(88;4(‡ ?34;48)4‡;161;:188:188;‡?;"
53‡‡t3o5))6*;4826)4‡)4‡.;8o6*;48†8¶6o))85 ;1‡(;:‡*8†83(88)5*†;46(;88*96e*?;8)*‡(;485);5*†2:* ‡(;4956*2(5*—4)8¶8*;4o69285);)6†8)4tt;1(‡9;48o81 ;8:8‡1;48t85;4)485†5288o6*81(‡9;48;(88;4(‡ ?34;48)4‡;161;:188:188;‡?;
"But," said I, returning him the slip, "I am as much in the dark as ever. Were all the jewels of Golconda awaiting me upon my solution of this enigma, I am quite sure that I should be unable to earn them."
"But," I said, handing him back the slip, "I still have no idea what this means. Even if all the jewels of Golconda were waiting for me to solve this mystery, I'm certain I wouldn't be able to figure it out."
"And yet," said Legrand, "the solution is by no means so difficult as you might be led to imagine from the first hasty inspection of the characters. These characters, as any one might readily guess, form a cipher—that is to say, they convey a meaning; but then from what is known of Kidd, I could not suppose him capable of constructing any of the more abstruse cryptographs, I made up my mind, at once, that this was of a simple species—such, however, as would appear, to the crude intellect of the sailor, absolutely insoluble without the key."
"And yet," Legrand said, "the solution isn't as difficult as you might think from a quick glance at the symbols. These symbols, as anyone could easily guess, create a cipher—that is to say, they carry a meaning. However, based on what we know about Kidd, I couldn't imagine him being capable of crafting any complex cryptographs. I immediately decided that this one was of a simple type—one that, to the basic understanding of a sailor, would seem completely unsolvable without the key."
"And you really solved it?"
"And you actually solved it?"
"Readily; I have solved others of an abstruseness ten thousand times greater. Circumstances, and a certain bias of mind, have led me to take interest in such riddles, and it may well be doubted whether human ingenuity can construct an enigma of the kind which human ingenuity may not, by proper application, resolve. In fact, having once established connected and legible characters, I scarcely gave a thought to the mere difficulty of developing their import.
"Sure, I've figured out puzzles that are way more complicated. Circumstances and my particular mindset have made me interested in these kinds of riddles, and it’s reasonable to question whether human creativity can come up with a puzzle that human creativity can’t solve with the right effort. Honestly, once I had established clear and understandable symbols, I hardly thought about the challenge of figuring out what they meant."
"In the present case—indeed, in all cases of secret writing—the first question regards the language of the cipher; for the principles of solution, so far, especially, as the more simple ciphers are concerned, depend upon, and are varied by, the genius of the particular idiom. In general, there is no alternative but experiment (directed by probabilities) of every tongue known to him who attempts the solution, until the true one be attained. But, with the cipher now before us all difficulty was removed by the signature. The pun upon the word 'Kidd' is appreciable in no other language than the English. But for this consideration I should have begun my attempts with Spanish and French, as the tongues in which a secret of this kind would most naturally have been written by a pirate of the Spanish, main. As it was, I assumed the cryptograph to be English.
"In this case—indeed, in all cases of secret writing—the first question is about the language of the cipher; because the principles of solving it, especially for simpler ciphers, depend on and vary with the characteristics of the specific language. Generally, there's no choice but to experiment (guided by probabilities) with every language known to the person trying to solve it, until the correct one is found. However, with the cipher we have here, all difficulty was eliminated by the signature. The play on the word 'Kidd' only makes sense in English. If not for this, I would have started my attempts with Spanish and French, as those would be the languages in which a secret like this would most likely have been written by a pirate of the Spanish Main. As it stands, I assumed the cryptograph was in English."
"You observe there are no divisions between the words. Had there been divisions the task would have been comparatively easy. In such cases I should have commenced with a collation and analysis of the shorter words, and, had a word of a single letter occurred, as is most likely (a or I, for example), I should have considered the solution as assured. But, there being no division, my first step was to ascertain the predominant letters, as well as the least frequent. Counting all, I constructed a table thus:
"You notice that there are no spaces between the words. If there had been spaces, the task would have been relatively simple. In that case, I would have started by collecting and analyzing the shorter words, and if a single-letter word appeared, like a or I, I would have considered the solution certain. But since there are no spaces, my first step was to identify the most common letters and the least frequent ones. By counting everything, I created a table like this:
Of the characters 8 there are 33. ; " 26 4 " 19 * " 16 ‡) " 13 5 " 14 6 " 11 †1 " 8 o " 6 92 " 5 :3 " 4 ? " 3 ¶ " 2 --. " 1
Of the characters 8, there are 33. ; " 26 4 " 19 * " 16 ‡) " 13 5 " 14 6 " 11 †1 " 8 o " 6 92 " 5 :3 " 4 ? " 3 ¶ " 2 --. " 1
"Now, in English, the letter which most frequently occurs is e. Afterward, the succession runs thus: a o i d h n r s t u y c f g l m w b k p q x z. E predominates so remarkably, that an individual sentence of any length is rarely seen, in which it is not the prevailing character.
"Now, in English, the letter that appears most often is e. After that, the order goes like this: a o i d h n r s t u y c f g l m w b k p q x z. E stands out so much that you rarely find a sentence of any length where it isn't the most common letter."
"Here, then, we have, in the very beginning, the groundwork for something more than a mere guess. The general use which may be made of the table is obvious—but, in this particular cipher, we shall only very partially require its aid. As our predominant character is 8, we will commence by assuming it as the e of the natural alphabet. To verify the supposition, let us observe if the 8 be seen often in couples—for e is doubled with great frequency in English—in such words, for example, as 'meet,' 'fleet,' 'speed,' 'seen,' 'been,' 'agree,' etc. In the present instance we see it doubled no less than five times, although the cryptograph is brief.
"Here we have, right from the start, a foundation for something more than just a guess. The general use of the table is clear—but for this specific cipher, we’ll only need it to a limited extent. Since our main character is 8, we'll begin by treating it as the e of the natural alphabet. To test this idea, let's see if the 8 appears frequently in pairs— since e often doubles in English—in words like 'meet,' 'fleet,' 'speed,' 'seen,' 'been,' 'agree,' and so on. In this case, we see it doubled no less than five times, even though the cryptograph is short."
"Let us assume 8, then, as e. Now, of all words in the language, 'the' is most usual; let us see, therefore, whether there are not repetitions of any three characters, in the same order of collocation, the last of them being 8. If we discover repetitions of such letters, so arranged, they will most probably represent the word 'the.' Upon inspection, we find no less than seven such arrangements, the characters being ;48. We may, therefore, assume that ; represents t, 4 represents h, and 8 represents e—the last being now well confirmed. Thus a great step has been taken.
"Let's assume 8 as e. Now, among all words in the language, 'the' is the most common; so, let's check if we can find any repetitions of three characters, in the same order, with the last one being 8. If we find any such repeated characters, they will likely stand for the word 'the.' Upon examining this, we notice seven such arrangements, the characters being ;48. Therefore, we can assume that ; represents t, 4 represents h, and 8 represents e—the last being well confirmed now. This marks a significant advancement."
"But, having established a single word, we are enabled to establish a vastly important point; that is to say, several commencements and terminations of other words. Let us refer, for example, to the last instance but one, in which the combination ;48 occurs—not far from the end of the cipher. We know that the ; immediately ensuing is the commencement of a word, and, of six characters succeeding this 'the,' we are cognizant of no less than five. Let us set these characters down, thus, by the letters we know them to represent, leaving a space for the unknown—
"But now that we've settled on one word, we can highlight a very important point: there are multiple beginnings and endings of other words. For example, let’s look at the second-to-last instance where the combination ;48 appears—not far from the end of the cipher. We know that the following ; marks the start of a word, and out of the six characters after this 'the,' we can recognize five of them. Let's write these characters down using the letters we know, leaving a space for the unknown—"
t eeth.
t eeth.
"Here we are enabled, at once, to discard the 'th,' as forming no portion of the word commencing with the first t; since, by experiment of the entire alphabet for a letter adapted to the vacancy, we perceive that no word can be formed of which this th can be a part. We are thus narrowed into
"Here we can immediately drop the 'th,' since it doesn't belong to the word starting with the first t; through testing the whole alphabet for a letter to fill the gap, we see that no word can include this th. We are therefore limited to
t ee,
t ee,
and, going through the alphabet, if necessary, as before, we arrive at the word 'tree,' as the sole possible reading. We thus gain another letter, r, represented by (, with the words 'the tree' in juxtaposition.
and, going through the alphabet, if needed, like before, we arrive at the word 'tree,' as the only possible interpretation. We thus get another letter, r, represented by (, with the words 'the tree' placed side by side.
"Looking beyond these words, for a short distance, we again see the combination ;48, and employ it by way of termination to what immediately precedes. We have thus this arrangement:
"Looking past these words, just for a moment, we see the combination ;48 again, and we use it to wrap up what comes directly before it. So, we have this setup:
the tree;4([dagger]?34 the,
the tree;4([dagger]?34 the,
or, substituting the natural letters, where known, it reads thus:
or, replacing the natural letters, where they are known, it reads as follows:
the tree thr[double dagger]?3h the.
the tree thr[double dagger]?3h the.
"Now, if, in the place of the unknown characters, we leave blank spaces, or substitute dots, we read thus:
"Now, if we leave blank spaces or replace the unknown characters with dots, we read it like this:
the tree thr...h the,
the tree thr...h the,
when the word 'through' makes itself evident at once. But this discovery gives us three new letters, o, u, and g, represented by [double dagger], ?, and 3.
when the word 'through' becomes clear right away. But this discovery gives us three new letters, o, u, and g, represented by [double dagger], ?, and 3.
"Looking now, narrowly, through the cipher for combinations of known characters, we find, not very far from the beginning, this arrangement,
"Now, looking closely through the code for combinations of familiar characters, we find, not far from the start, this arrangement,
83(88, or egree.
83(88, or degree.
which plainly, is the conclusion of the word 'degree,' and gives us another letter, d, represented by [dagger].
which is clearly the conclusion of the word 'degree,' and gives us another letter, d, represented by [dagger].
"Four letters beyond the word 'degree,' we perceive the combination
"Four letters after the word 'degree,' we see the combination"
;46(;88
;46(;88
"Translating the known characters, and representing the unknown by dots, as before, we read thus:
"Translating the known characters and using dots to represent the unknown, as we did before, we read like this:
th.rtee,
th.rtee,
an arrangement immediately suggestive of the word 'thirteen,' and again furnishing us with two new characters, i and n, represented by 6 and *.
an arrangement that immediately brings to mind the word 'thirteen,' and again giving us two new characters, i and n, represented by 6 and *.
"Referring, now, to the beginning of the cryptograph, we find the combination,
"Referring to the beginning of the cryptograph, we find the combination,"
53[double dagger][double dagger][dagger].
53†††.
"Translating as before, we obtain
"Translating as before, we get"
.good,
.good,
which assures us that the first letter is A, and that the first two words are 'A good.'
which assures us that the first letter is A, and that the first two words are 'A good.'
"It is now time that we arrange our key, as far as discovered, in a tabular form, to avoid confusion. It will stand thus:
"It’s time for us to organize our key, as far as we’ve discovered, into a table to avoid any confusion. It will look like this:
5 represents a † " d 8 " e 3 " g 4 " h 6 " i * " n ‡ " o ( " r : " t ? " u
5 represents a † " d 8 " e 3 " g 4 " h 6 " i * " n ‡ " o ( " r : " t ? " u
"We have, therefore, no less than eleven of the most important letters represented, and it will be unnecessary to proceed with the details of the solution. I have said enough to convince you that ciphers of this nature are readily soluble, and to give you some insight into the rationale of their development. But be assured that the specimen before us appertains to the very simplest species of cryptograph. It now only remains to give you the full translation of the characters upon the parchment, as unriddled. Here it is:
"We have, therefore, no less than eleven of the most important letters represented, and there’s no need to go into the details of the solution. I've said enough to show you that ciphers like this are easy to solve, and to provide you with some insight into the rationale behind their development. But rest assured, the example we have here belongs to the very simplest type of cryptograph. Now, all that's left is to give you the complete translation of the characters on the parchment, as unriddled. Here it is:
"'A good glass in the bishop's hostel in the devil's seat forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes northeast and by north main branch seventh limb east side shoot from the left eye of the death's-head a bee-line from the tree through the shot fifty feet out.'"
"'A good drink in the bishop's lodge in the devil's seat, forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes northeast and slightly north of the main branch, seventh limb on the east side, shooting from the left eye of the skull, a straight line from the tree through the shot fifty feet out.'"
"But," said I, "the enigma seems still in as bad a condition as ever. How is it possible to extort a meaning from all this jargon about 'devil's seats,' 'death's-head,' and 'bishop's hotels?'"
"But," I said, "the mystery still seems just as messed up as before. How can anyone make sense of all this nonsense about 'devil's seats,' 'death's-head,' and 'bishop's hotels?'"
"I confess," replied Legrand, "that the matter still wears a serious aspect, when regarded with a casual glance. My first endeavor was to divide the sentence into the natural division intended by the cryptographist."
"I admit," Legrand replied, "that the issue still looks serious at first glance. My first attempt was to break the sentence into the natural divisions intended by the cryptographer."
"You mean, to punctuate it?"
"You mean, to emphasize it?"
"Something of that kind."
"Something like that."
"But how was it possible to effect this?"
"But how could this happen?"
"I reflected that it had been a point with the writer to run his words together without division, so as to increase the difficulty of solution. Now, a not over-acute man, in pursuing such an object, would be nearly certain to overdo the matter. When, in the course of his composition, he arrived at a break in his subject which would naturally require a pause, or a point, he would be exceedingly apt to run his characters, at this place, more than usually close together. If you will observe the MS., in the present instance, you will easily detect five such cases of unusual crowding. Acting upon this hint, I made the division thus:
"I realized that the writer intended to connect his words without breaks to make it harder to understand. Now, someone who isn’t particularly sharp, in trying to achieve this, would almost certainly take it too far. When he reached a natural break in his topic that called for a pause or period, he would likely cram his characters together even more than usual. If you look at the manuscript, you'll easily spot five instances of this unusual crowding. Taking this into account, I made the division this way:
"'A good glass in the bishop's hostel in the devil's seat—forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes—northeast and by north—main branch seventh limb east side—shoot from the left eye of the death's-head—a bee-line from the tree through the shot fifty feet out.'"
"'A nice drink in the bishop's inn at the devil's seat—forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes—northeast and slightly north—main branch, seventh limb on the east side—aim from the left eye of the skull—direct line from the tree through the shot fifty feet out.'"
"Even this division," said I, "leaves me still in the dark."
"Even this division," I said, "still leaves me confused."
"It left me also in the dark," replied Legrand, "for a few days; during which I made diligent inquiry in the neighborhood of Sullivan's Island, for any building which went by name of the 'Bishop's Hotel'; for, of course, I dropped the obsolete word 'hostel.' Gaining no information on the subject, I was on the point of extending my sphere of search, and proceeding in a more systematic manner, when, one morning, it entered into my head, quite suddenly, that this 'Bishop's Hostel' might have some reference to an old family, of the name of Bessop, which, time out of mind, had held possession of an ancient manor-house, about four miles to the northward of the island. I accordingly went over to the plantation, and reinstituted my inquiries among the older negroes of the place. At length one of the most aged of the women said that she had heard of such a place as Bessop's Castle, and thought that she could guide me to it, but that it was not a castle, nor a tavern, but a high rock.
"It also left me confused," Legrand replied, "for a few days; during which I diligently searched the area around Sullivan's Island for any building called the 'Bishop's Hotel'; since, of course, I dropped the outdated term 'hostel.' Not finding any information on the subject, I was about to widen my search and approach it more systematically when, one morning, it suddenly occurred to me that this 'Bishop's Hostel' might refer to an old family named Bessop, who had owned a historic manor house for as long as anyone could remember, located about four miles north of the island. So, I went over to the plantation and resumed my inquiries among the older locals. Eventually, one of the oldest women said she had heard of a place called Bessop's Castle and thought she could show me where it was, but she made it clear that it wasn't a castle or an inn, just a high rock."
"I offered to pay her well for her trouble, and, after some demur, she consented to accompany me to the spot. We found it without much difficulty, when, dismissing her, I proceeded to examine the place. The 'castle' consisted of an irregular assemblage of cliffs and rocks—one of the latter being quite remarkable for its height as well as for its insulated and artificial appearance. I clambered to its apex, and then felt much at a loss as to what should be next done.
"I offered to pay her well for her trouble, and, after some hesitation, she agreed to join me at the location. We found it without much difficulty, and after sending her away, I began to explore the area. The 'castle' was an uneven collection of cliffs and rocks—one of the rocks stood out because of its height and its isolated, man-made look. I climbed to the top and then felt uncertain about what to do next."
"While I was busied in reflection, my eyes fell upon a narrow ledge in the eastern face of the rock, perhaps a yard below the summit upon which I stood. This ledge projected about eighteen inches, and was not more than a foot wide, while a niche in the cliff just above it gave it a rude resemblance to one of the hollow-backed chairs used by our ancestors. I made no doubt that here was the 'devil's-seat' alluded to in the MS., and now I seemed to grasp the full secret of the riddle.
"While I was deep in thought, my eyes landed on a narrow ledge on the eastern side of the rock, maybe a yard below the summit where I was standing. This ledge stuck out about eighteen inches and was only about a foot wide, while a small alcove in the cliff just above it made it look a bit like one of the old-fashioned chairs our ancestors used. I had no doubt that this was the 'devil's seat' mentioned in the manuscript, and now I felt I understood the full meaning of the puzzle."
"The 'good glass,' I knew, could have reference to nothing but a telescope; for the word 'glass' is rarely employed in any other sense by seamen. Now here, I at once saw, was a telescope to be used, and a definite point of view, admitting no variation, from which to use it. Nor did I hesitate to believe that the phrases, 'forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes,' and 'northeast and by north,' were intended as directions for the levelling of the glass. Greatly excited by these discoveries, I hurried home, procured a telescope, and returned to the rock.
"The 'good glass,' I realized, could only refer to a telescope; because sailors rarely use the word 'glass' in any other way. Suddenly, I saw that there was a telescope to be used, and a specific point of view, allowing for no variation, from which to look through it. I also didn't doubt that the phrases 'forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes,' and 'northeast and by north,' were meant as instructions for leveling the glass. Extremely excited by these discoveries, I rushed home, got a telescope, and then returned to the rock."
"I let myself down to the ledge, and found that it was impossible to retain a seat upon it except in one particular position. This fact confirmed my preconceived idea. I proceeded to use the glass. Of course, the 'forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes' could allude to nothing but elevation above the visible horizon, since the horizontal direction was clearly indicated by the words, 'northeast and by north.' This latter direction I at once established by means of a pocket-compass; then, pointing the glass as nearly at an angle of forty-one degrees of elevation as I could do it by guess, I moved it cautiously up or down, until my attention was arrested by a circular rift or opening in the foliage of a large tree that overtopped its fellows in the distance. In the centre of this rift I perceived a white spot, but could not, at first, distinguish what it was. Adjusting the focus of the telescope, I again looked, and now made it out to be a human skull.
I lowered myself to the ledge and found that it was impossible to sit on it unless I maintained a specific position. This confirmed my initial thoughts. I then started using the telescope. The "forty-one degrees and thirteen minutes" could only refer to an elevation above the visible horizon, since the horizontal direction was clearly marked as "northeast and by north." I quickly established this direction using a pocket compass. Then, aiming the telescope at about a forty-one-degree angle as best as I could guess, I slowly moved it up and down until something caught my eye—a circular opening in the leaves of a large tree that stood taller than the others in the distance. In the center of this opening, I saw a white spot but couldn’t immediately tell what it was. After adjusting the focus of the telescope, I looked again and realized it was a human skull.
"Upon this discovery I was so sanguine as to consider the enigma solved; for the phrase 'main branch, seventh limb, east side,' could refer only to the position of the skull upon the tree, while 'shoot from the left eye of the death's-head' admitted, also, of but one interpretation, in regard to a search for buried treasure. I perceived that the design was to drop a bullet from the left eye of the skull, and that a bee-line, or, in other words, a straight line, drawn from the nearest point of the trunk through the shot (or the spot where the bullet fell), and thence extended to a distance of fifty feet, would indicate a definite point—and beneath this point I thought it at least possible that a deposit of value lay concealed."
"After making this discovery, I was optimistic enough to think I had solved the mystery; the phrase 'main branch, seventh limb, east side' could only refer to where the skull was located on the tree, while 'shoot from the left eye of the death's-head' could only mean one thing when it came to searching for buried treasure. I realized the plan was to drop a bullet from the left eye of the skull, and that a straight line drawn from the nearest point of the trunk through the bullet's landing spot, extended out fifty feet, would point to a specific location—and beneath that spot, I thought it was at least possible that something valuable was hidden."
"All this," I said, "is exceedingly clear, and, although ingenious, still simple and explicit. When you left the Bishop's Hotel, what then?"
"All this," I said, "is very clear, and, although clever, still straightforward and direct. When you left the Bishop's Hotel, what happened next?"
"Why, having carefully taken the bearings of the tree, I turned homeward. The instant that I left 'the devil's-seat,' however, the circular rift vanished; nor could I get a glimpse of it afterward, turn as I would. What seems to me the chief ingenuity in this whole business, is the fact (for repeated experiment has convinced me it is a fact) that the circular opening in question is visible from no other attainable point of view than that afforded by the narrow ledge upon the face of the rock.
"After carefully checking the position of the tree, I headed back home. The moment I stepped away from 'the devil's seat,' though, the circular opening disappeared, and no matter how I turned, I couldn't see it again. What I find most impressive about this whole situation is the fact (and repeated tests have shown me it is a fact) that the circular opening can only be seen from the narrow ledge on the rock."
"In this expedition to the 'Bishop's Hotel' I had been attended by Jupiter, who had, no doubt, observed, for some weeks past, the abstraction of my demeanor, and took especial care not to leave me alone. But, on the next day, getting up very early, I contrived to give him the slip, and went into the hills in search of the tree. After much toil I found it. When I came home at night my valet proposed to give me a flogging. With the rest of the adventure I believe you are as well acquainted as myself."
"In this trip to the 'Bishop's Hotel,' Jupiter was with me, likely having noticed my distracted behavior for weeks and made sure not to leave my side. However, the next day, I managed to sneak away early in the morning and headed into the hills to find the tree. After a lot of effort, I finally found it. When I got home that night, my valet suggested giving me a beating. I think you're as familiar with the rest of the adventure as I am."
"I suppose," said I, "you missed the spot, in the first attempt at digging, through Jupiter's stupidity in letting the bug fall through the right instead of through the left eye of the skull."
"I guess," I said, "you missed the spot on your first try at digging because of Jupiter's foolishness in letting the bug fall through the right eye instead of the left one in the skull."
"Precisely. This mistake made a difference of about two inches and a half in the 'shot'—that is to say, in the position of the peg nearest the tree; and had the treasure been beneath the 'shot,' the error would have been of little moment; but 'the shot,' together with the nearest point of the tree, were merely two points for the establishment of a line of direction; of course, the error, however trivial in the beginning, increased as we proceeded with the line, and by the time we had gone fifty feet threw us quite off the scent. But for my deep-seated impressions that treasure was here somewhere actually buried, we might have had all our labor in vain."
"Exactly. This mistake created a difference of about two and a half inches in the 'shot'—meaning the position of the peg closest to the tree; and if the treasure had been under the 'shot,' the error wouldn’t have mattered much; but 'the shot,' along with the nearest point of the tree, were just two reference points for establishing a direction line. Obviously, the error, though small at first, grew as we extended the line, and by the time we’d traveled fifty feet, it completely threw us off track. If it hadn't been for my strong belief that the treasure was buried somewhere nearby, we might have wasted all our effort."
"But your grandiloquence, and your conduct in swinging the beetle—how excessively odd! I was sure you were mad. And why did you insist upon letting fall the bug, instead of a bullet, from the skull?"
"But your fancy words and the way you swung the beetle—how incredibly strange! I thought you were crazy. And why did you insist on dropping the bug instead of a bullet from the skull?"
"Why, to be frank, I felt somewhat annoyed by your evident suspicions touching my sanity, and so resolved to punish you quietly, in my own way, by a little bit of sober mystification. For this reason I swung the beetle, and for this reason I let it fall from the tree. An observation of yours about its great weight suggested the latter idea."
"Honestly, I felt a bit irritated by your clear doubts about my sanity, so I decided to quietly get back at you in my own way by adding a touch of serious confusion. That's why I swung the beetle, and that's why I let it drop from the tree. Something you said about its weight made me think of that."
"Yes, I perceive; and now there is only one point which puzzles me. What are we to make of the skeletons found in the hole?"
"Yes, I get it; and now there's just one thing that's confusing me. What should we think about the skeletons found in the hole?"
"That is a question I am no more able to answer than yourself. There seems, however, only one plausible way of accounting for them—and yet it is dreadful to believe in such atrocity as my suggestion would imply. It is clear that Kidd—if Kidd indeed secreted this treasure, which I doubt not—it is clear that he must have had assistance in the labor. But this labor concluded, he may have thought it expedient to remove all participants in his secret. Perhaps a couple of blows with a mattock were sufficient, while his coadjutors were busy in the pit; perhaps it required a dozen—who shall tell?"
"That's a question I can't answer any more than you can. However, there seems to be only one reasonable explanation for them—and it's frightening to think that my suggestion could imply such a terrible act. It's clear that Kidd—if he truly hid this treasure, which I have no doubt about—must have had help with the work. But once that work was done, he might have thought it wise to eliminate anyone involved in his secret. Maybe a couple of blows with a pickaxe were enough while his accomplices were busy in the hole; maybe it took a dozen—who can say?"
CORPORAL FLINT'S MURDER
By J. FENIMORE COOPER
Half an hour passed after the execution of the missionary before the chiefs commenced their proceedings with the corporal. The delay was owing to a consultation, in which The Weasel had proposed despatching a party to the castle, to bring in the family, and thus make a common destruction of the remaining pale-faces known to be in that part of the Openings. Peter did not dare to oppose this scheme, himself; but he so managed as to get Crowsfeather to do it, without bringing himself into the foreground. The influence of the Pottawattamie prevailed, and it was decided to torture this one captive, and to secure his scalp, before they proceeded to work their will on the others. Ungque, who had gained ground rapidly by his late success, was once more commissioned to state to the captive the intentions of his captors.
Half an hour went by after the execution of the missionary before the chiefs started their proceedings with the corporal. The delay was due to a discussion in which The Weasel suggested sending a group to the castle to bring in the family, aiming for a collective destruction of the remaining white people known to be in that area of the Openings. Peter didn’t dare to oppose this plan himself, but he cleverly got Crowsfeather to do it without putting himself in the spotlight. The influence of the Pottawattamie won out, and it was decided to torture this one captive and secure his scalp before they moved on to the others. Ungque, who had quickly gained favor thanks to his recent success, was once again tasked with informing the captive about his captors' intentions.
"Brother," commenced The Weasel, placing himself directly in front of the corporal, "I am about to speak to you. A wise warrior opens his ears, when he hears the voice of his enemy. He may learn something it will be good for him to know. It will be good for you to know what I am about to say.
"Brother," began The Weasel, standing right in front of the corporal, "I need to talk to you. A smart warrior listens carefully when he hears his enemy's voice. He might learn something useful. It’s important for you to know what I’m about to say."
"Brother, you are a pale-face, and we are Injins. You wish to get our hunting-grounds, and we wish to keep them. To keep them, it has become necessary to take your scalp. I hope you are ready to let us have it."
"Brother, you’re a white man, and we are Native Americans. You want to take our hunting grounds, and we want to keep them. To protect them, we’ve found it necessary to take your scalp. I hope you’re prepared to give it up."
The corporal had but an indifferent knowledge of the Indian language, but he comprehended all that was uttered on this occasion. Interest quickened his faculties, and no part of what was said was lost. The gentle, slow, deliberate manner in which The Weasel delivered himself, contributed to his means of understanding. He was fortunately prepared for what he heard, and the announcement of his approaching fate did not disturb him to the degree of betraying weakness. This last was a triumph in which the Indians delighted, though they ever showed the most profound respect for such of their victims as manifested a manly fortitude. It was necessary to reply, which the corporal did in English, knowing that several present could interpret his words. With a view to render this the more easy, he spoke in fragments of sentences, and with great deliberation.
The corporal had only a basic understanding of the Indian language, but he understood everything that was said at that moment. His interest sharpened his senses, and he didn't miss a word. The gentle, slow, and deliberate way The Weasel spoke helped him grasp the meaning. Fortunately, he was prepared for what he heard, and the news of his impending fate didn't shake him enough to show weakness. This was a victory that the Indians relished, though they always showed deep respect for those victims who displayed strong courage. He needed to respond, so the corporal replied in English, knowing that several people there could translate his words. To make it easier, he spoke in short sentences and with great care.
"Injins," returned the corporal, "you surrounded me, and I have been taken prisoner—had there been a platoon on us, you mightn't have made out quite so well. It's no great victory for three hundred warriors to overcome a single man. I count Parson Amen as worse than nothing, for he looked to neither rear nor flank. If I could have half an hour's work upon you, with only half of our late company, I think we should lower your conceit. But that is impossible, and so you may do just what you please with me. I ask no favors."
"Injuns," the corporal replied, "you surrounded me, and now I'm a prisoner. If a platoon had been with us, you might not have done so well. It's not much of a victory for three hundred warriors to take down a single man. I see Parson Amen as useless because he didn't protect our sides or back. If I could have just half an hour with you, along with half of my former unit, I bet we'd knock you down a peg. But that's not possible, so do whatever you want with me. I don't ask for any favors."
Although this answer was very imperfectly translated, it awakened a good deal of admiration. A man who could look death so closely in the face, with so much steadiness, became a sort of hero in Indian eyes; and with the North American savage, fortitude is a virtue not inferior to courage. Murmurs of approbation were heard, and Ungque was privately requested to urge the captive further, in order to see how far present appearances were likely to be maintained.
Although this answer was pretty poorly translated, it sparked a lot of admiration. A man who could face death so calmly became a kind of hero in the eyes of the Indians; for the North American warrior, endurance is just as valuable as bravery. There were murmurs of approval, and Ungque was privately asked to encourage the captive further to see how long the current situation would hold up.
"Brother, I have said that we are Injins," resumed The Weasel, with an air so humble, and a voice so meek, that a stranger might have supposed he was consoling, instead of endeavoring to intimidate, the prisoner. "It is true. We are nothing but poor, ignorant Injins. We can only torment our prisoners after Injin fashion. If we were pale-faces, we might do better. We did not torment the medicine-priest. We were afraid he would laugh at our mistakes. He knew a great deal. We know but little. We do as well as we know how.
"Brother, I’ve said that we’re Injins," The Weasel continued, sounding so humble and speaking so softly that a stranger might think he was trying to comfort rather than scare the prisoner. "It's true. We’re just poor, ignorant Injins. We can only torment our prisoners the way Injins do. If we were white, we might do better. We didn’t bother the medicine-priest. We were afraid he would laugh at our mistakes. He knew a lot. We know very little. We do the best we can."
"Brother, when Injins do as well as they know how, a warrior should forget their mistakes. We wish to torment you, in a way to prove that you are all over man. We wish so to torment you that you will stand up under the pain in such a way that it will make our young men think your mother was not a squaw—that there is no woman in you. We do this for our own honor, as well as for yours. It will be an honor to us to have such a captive; it will be an honor to you to be such a captive. We shall do as well as we know how.
"Brother, when Native Americans do their best, a warrior should let go of their mistakes. We want to challenge you in a way that proves you are a true man. We want to push you so hard that you endure the pain in a way that makes our young men believe your mother wasn’t a woman—that there’s nothing feminine about you. We do this for our own honor, as well as yours. It will be an honor for us to have such a captive; it will be an honor for you to be one. We will do our best."
"Brother, it is most time to begin. The tormenting will last a long time. We must not let the medicine-priest get too great a start on the path to the happy hunting-grounds of your——"
"Brother, it’s time to start. The torment will go on for a while. We can’t let the medicine priest get too far down the path to the happy hunting grounds of your——"
Here, a most unexpected interruption occurred, that effectually put a stop to the eloquence of Ungque. In his desire to make an impression, the savage approached within reach of the captive's arm, while his own mind was intent on the words that he hoped would make the prisoner quail. The corporal kept his eye on that of the speaker, charming him, as it were, into a riveted gaze, in return. Watching his opportunity, he caught the tomahawk from the Weasel's belt, and by a single blow, felled him dead at his feet. Not content with this, the old soldier now bounded forward, striking right and left, inflicting six or eight wounds on others, before he could be again arrested, disarmed, and bound. While the last was doing, Peter withdrew, unobserved.
Here, an unexpected interruption happened that effectively cut off Ungque’s speech. Trying to impress, the savage moved in close to the captive, focused on the words he hoped would intimidate the prisoner. The corporal maintained a steady gaze on the speaker, almost mesmerizing him in return. Seizing his chance, he snatched the tomahawk from the Weasel’s belt and, with a single strike, brought him down dead at his feet. Not satisfied with that, the old soldier charged forward, swinging wildly and inflicting six or eight wounds on others before he was finally stopped, disarmed, and tied up. During this commotion, Peter slipped away unnoticed.
Many were the "hughs" and other exclamations of admiration that succeeded this display of desperate manhood! The body of The Weasel was removed, and interred, while the wounded withdrew to attend to their hurts; leaving the arena to the rest assembled there. As for the corporal, he was pretty well blown, and, in addition to being now bound hand and foot, his recent exertions, which were terrific while they lasted, effectually incapacitated him from making any move, so long as he was thus exhausted and confined.
Many were the "hugs" and other exclamations of admiration that followed this display of desperate bravery! The body of The Weasel was taken away and buried, while the injured tended to their wounds, leaving the arena to the rest of the crowd gathered there. As for the corporal, he was pretty worn out, and, in addition to being tied up hand and foot, his recent efforts, which were intense while they lasted, completely prevented him from moving as long as he was both exhausted and restrained.
A council was now held by the principal chiefs. Ungque had few friends. In this, he shared the fate of most demagogues, who are commonly despised even by those they lead and deceive. No one regretted him much, and some were actually glad at his fate. But the dignity of the conquerors must be vindicated. It would never do to allow a pale-face to obtain so great an advantage, and not take a signal vengeance for his deeds. After a long consultation, it was determined to subject the captive to the trial by saplings, and thus see if he could bear the torture without complaining. As some of our readers may not understand what this fell mode of tormenting is, it may be necessary to explain.
A council was now held by the main chiefs. Ungque had few friends. In this, he shared the fate of most demagogues, who are usually looked down upon even by those they lead and trick. No one really missed him, and some were actually pleased with his outcome. But the honor of the victors had to be upheld. It would never be acceptable to let a white man get such a huge advantage and not exact a strong revenge for his actions. After a lengthy discussion, they decided to put the captive through the trial by saplings to see if he could endure the torture without complaining. Since some of our readers may not know what this brutal method of torment is, a brief explanation might be necessary.
There is scarcely a method of inflicting pain, that comes within the compass of their means, that the North American Indians have not essayed on their enemies. When the infernal ingenuity that is exercised on these occasions fails of its effect, the captives themselves have been heard to suggest other means of torturing that they have known practised successfully by their own people. There is often a strange strife between the tormentors and the tormented; the one to manifest skill in inflicting pain, and the other to manifest fortitude in enduring it. As has just been said, quite as much renown is often acquired by the warrior, in setting all the devices of his conquerors at defiance, while subject to their hellish attempts, as in deeds of arms. It might be more true to say that such was the practice among the Indians, than to say, at the present time, that such is; for it is certain that civilization in its approaches, while it has in many particulars even degraded the red man, has had a silent effect in changing and mitigating many of his fiercer customs—this, perhaps, among the rest. It is probable that the more distant tribes still resort to all these ancient usages; but it is both hoped and believed that those nearer to the whites do not.
There’s hardly a way to inflict pain that the North American Indians haven’t tried on their enemies. When their brutal creativity doesn’t work, captives have been known to suggest other methods of torture that they’ve seen successfully used by their own people. There’s often a strange rivalry between the tormentors and the tormented; one trying to show off their skill in inflicting pain, while the other aims to demonstrate their strength in enduring it. As mentioned, warriors often gain as much fame by defying the tortures of their captors while enduring their horrific attempts, as they do in acts of combat. It might be more accurate to say that this was the practice among the Indians, rather than saying it is the case today; for it’s clear that as civilization has advanced, it has, in many ways, even degraded the Native people, but it has also quietly changed and softened many of their harsher customs—this being one of them, perhaps. It’s likely that the more distant tribes still engage in these ancient practices; however, it is both hoped and believed that those closer to the white settlers do not.
The "torture by saplings" is one of those modes of inflicting pain that would naturally suggest themselves to savages. Young trees that do not stand far apart are trimmed of their branches, and brought nearer to each other by bending their bodies; the victim is then attached to both trunks, sometimes by his extended arms, at others by his legs, or by whatever part of the frame cruelty can suggest, when the saplings are released, and permitted to resume their upright positions. Of course, the sufferer is lifted from the earth, and hangs suspended by his limbs, with a strain on them that soon produces the most intense anguish. The celebrated punishment of the "knout" partakes a good deal of this same character of suffering. Bough of the Oak now approached the corporal, to let him know how high an honor was in reserve for him.
The "torture by saplings" is one of those ways of inflicting pain that would naturally come to mind for savages. Young trees that aren’t spaced too far apart are stripped of their branches and bent closer together; the victim is then tied to both trunks, sometimes by their outstretched arms, other times by their legs, or whatever part of the body cruelty can think of. When the saplings are released and allowed to stand upright again, the victim is lifted off the ground and hangs suspended by their limbs, which creates a strain that quickly leads to intense agony. The infamous punishment of the "knout" shares a lot of this same kind of suffering. Bough of the Oak then approached the corporal to inform him of the great honor awaiting him.
"Brother," said this ambitious orator, "you are a brave warrior. You have done well. Not only have you killed one of our chiefs, but you have wounded several of our young men. No one but a brave could have done this. You have forced us to bind you, lest you might kill some more. It is not often that captives do this. Your courage has caused us to consult how we might best torture you, in a way most to manifest your manhood. After talking together, the chiefs have decided that a man of your firmness ought to be hung between two young trees. We have found the trees, and have cut off their branches. You can see them. If they were a little larger their force would be greater, and they would give you more pain—would be more worthy of you; but these are the largest saplings we could find. Had there been any larger, we would have let you have them. We wish to do you honor, for you are a bold warrior, and worthy to be well tormented.
"Brother," said this ambitious speaker, "you are a brave warrior. You've done well. Not only have you killed one of our chiefs, but you've also injured several of our young men. No one but a brave person could have done this. We've had to restrain you so you don't kill any more. It’s not common for captives to achieve this. Your bravery has led us to discuss how we might best torture you in a way that best shows your manhood. After talking among ourselves, the chiefs have decided that a man of your strength should be hanged between two young trees. We've found the trees and cut off their branches. You can see them. If they were a bit larger, they would be more powerful and cause you more pain—would be more fitting for you; but these are the largest saplings we could find. Had there been any larger, we would have let you have them. We want to honor you, for you are a bold warrior and deserve to be well tormented."
"Brother, look at these saplings! They are tall and straight. When they are bent by many hands, they will come together. Take away the hands, and they will become straight again. Your arms must then keep them together. We wish we had some pappooses here, that they might shoot arrows into your flesh. That would help much to torment you. You cannot have this honor, for we have no pappooses. We are afraid to let our young men shoot arrows into your flesh. They are strong, and might kill you. We wish you to die between the saplings, as is your right, being so great a brave.
"Brother, check out these young trees! They’re tall and straight. When they get pushed down by many hands, they’ll huddle together. Take the hands away, and they’ll stand up straight again. Your arms need to hold them together. We wish we had some young ones here, so they could shoot arrows into you. That would really torture you. You can’t have that honor, because we don’t have any young ones. We’re afraid to let our young men shoot arrows at you. They’re strong and might end up killing you. We want you to die among the saplings, as is your right, being such a great warrior."
"Brother, we think much better of you since you killed The Weasel, and hurt our young men. If all your warriors at Chicago had been as bold as you, Black-Bird would not have taken that fort. You would have saved many scalps. This encourages us. It makes us think the Great Spirit means to help us, and that we shall kill all the pale-faces. When we get further into your settlements, we do not expect to meet many such braves as you. They tell us we shall then find men who will run, and screech like women. It will not be a pleasure to torment such men. We had rather torment a bold warrior, like you, who makes us admire him for his manliness. We love our squaws, but not in the war-path. They are best in the lodges; here we want nothing but men. You are a man—a brave—we honor you. We think, notwithstanding, we shall yet make you weak. It will not be easy, yet we hope to do it. We shall try. We may not think quite so well of you, if we do it; but we shall always call you a brave. A man is not a stone. We can all feel, and when we have done all that is in our power, no one can do more. It is so with Injins; we think it must be so with pale-faces. We mean to try and see how it is."
"Brother, we have a much better opinion of you since you killed The Weasel and hurt our young men. If all your warriors in Chicago had been as bold as you, Black-Bird wouldn’t have taken that fort. You would have saved many scalps. This gives us confidence. It makes us think the Great Spirit is here to help us, and that we will defeat all the white people. As we move deeper into your settlements, we don’t expect to find many warriors like you. They tell us we will then meet men who will run away and scream like women. It won’t be enjoyable to torment such men. We would rather challenge a brave warrior like you, who earns our respect for his courage. We love our women, but not on the battlefield. They belong in the lodges; here, we want nothing but men. You are a man—a brave one—we honor you. Nevertheless, we think we will still find a way to weaken you. It won’t be easy, but we hope to do it. We may not think quite as highly of you if we succeed; however, we will always call you a brave. A man is not a rock. We can all feel, and when we’ve done everything we can, no one can do more. It’s the same with Indians; we believe it must be the same with white people. We plan to try and see how it goes."
The corporal understood very little of this harangue, though he perfectly comprehended the preparations of the saplings, and Bough of the Oak's allusions to them. He was in a cold sweat at the thought, for resolute as he was, he foresaw sufferings that human fortitude could hardly endure. In this state of the case, and in the frame of mind he was in, he had recourse to an expedient of which he had often heard, and which he thought might now be practised to some advantage. It was to open upon the savages with abuse, and to exasperate them, by taunts and sarcasm, to such a degree as might induce some of the weaker members of the tribe to dispatch him on the spot. As the corporal, with the perspective of the saplings before his eyes, manifested a good deal of ingenuity on this occasion, we shall record some of his efforts.
The corporal understood very little of this rant, though he fully grasped the preparations of the saplings and Bough of the Oak's references to them. He was sweating nervously at the thought, because as determined as he was, he could foresee suffering that any human could barely withstand. In this situation and with his current mindset, he turned to a tactic he had often heard about and thought might be useful now. It involved launching verbal attacks at the savages and provoking them with insults and sarcasm to the point where some of the weaker members of the tribe might feel compelled to kill him on the spot. As the corporal, with the sight of the saplings in mind, showed quite a bit of creativity in this instance, we will note some of his attempts.
"D'ye call yourselves chiefs and warriors?" he began, upon a pretty high key. "I call ye squaws! There is not a man among ye. Dogs would be the best name. You are poor Injins. A long time ago, the pale-faces came here in two or three little canoes. They were but a handful, and you were plentier than prairie wolves. Your bark could be heard throughout the land. Well, what did this handful of pale-faces? It drove your fathers before them, until they got all the best of the hunting-grounds. Not an Injin of you all, now, ever get down on the shores of the great salt lake, unless to sell brooms and baskets, and then he goes sneaking like a wolf after a sheep. You have forgotten how clams and oysters taste. Your fathers had as many of them as they could eat; but not one of you ever tasted them. The pale-faces eat them all. If an Injun asked for one, they would throw the shell at his head, and call him a dog.
"Do you call yourselves chiefs and warriors?" he started, in a pretty loud voice. "I call you women! There isn't a man among you. Dogs would be a better name. You are poor Indians. A long time ago, the white people came here in two or three small canoes. They were just a handful, and there were more of you than prairie wolves. Your voices could be heard all over the land. So, what did this handful of white people do? They pushed your fathers back until they took all the best hunting grounds. None of you Indians ever go down to the shores of the big salt lake, unless it's to sell brooms and baskets, and even then you sneak around like a wolf after a sheep. You've forgotten what clams and oysters taste like. Your fathers had as many of them as they wanted; but not one of you has ever tasted them. The white people eat them all. If an Indian asked for one, they would throw the shell at his head and call him a dog.
"Do you think that my chiefs would hang one of you between two such miserable saplings as these? No! They would scorn to practice such pitiful torture. They would bring the tops of two tall pines together, trees a hundred and fifty feet high, and put their prisoner on the topmost boughs, for the crows and ravens to pick his eyes out. But you are miserable Injins! You know nothing. If you know'd any better, would you act such poor torment ag'in' a great brave? I spit upon ye, and call you squaws. The pale-faces have made women of ye. They have taken out your hearts, and put pieces of dog's flesh in their places."
"Do you really think my leaders would hang one of you between two pathetic little trees like these? No! They would never stoop to such a pathetic torture. They would unite the tops of two towering pines, trees that are a hundred and fifty feet tall, and place their prisoner on the highest branches for the crows and ravens to peck his eyes out. But you are pathetic savages! You know nothing. If you knew any better, would you torment a great warrior like this again? I spit on you and call you women. The white folks have made you weak. They’ve taken out your hearts and replaced them with bits of dog flesh."
Here the corporal, who delivered himself with an animation suited to his language, was obliged to pause, literally for want of breath. Singular as it may seem, this tirade excited great admiration among the savages. It is true, that very few understood what was said; perhaps no one understood all, but the manner was thought to be admirable. When some of the language was interpreted, a deep but smothered resentment was felt; more especially at the taunts touching the manner in which the whites had overcome the red men. Truth is hard to be borne, and the individual, or people, who will treat a thousand injurious lies with contempt, feel all their ire aroused at one reproach that has its foundation in fact. Nevertheless, the anger that the corporal's words did, in truth, awaken, was successfully repressed, and he had the disappointment of seeing that his life was spared for the torture.
Here the corporal, who spoke with an energy that matched his words, had to pause, literally out of breath. Strange as it may seem, this speech captivated the savages. It's true that very few understood what he said; perhaps no one understood everything, but they thought his delivery was impressive. When some of the words were explained, a deep but suppressed anger was felt, especially at the jabs about how the whites had defeated the red men. Truth is hard to accept, and the individual or group that can brush off a thousand hurtful lies will have all their anger stirred up by a single truth-based insult. Still, the anger that the corporal's words did actually provoke was successfully kept in check, and he faced the disappointment of seeing that his life was spared only for the torture.
"Brother," said Bough of the Oak, again placing himself before the captive, "you have a stout heart. It is made of stone, and not of flesh. If our hearts be of dog's meat, yours is of stone. What you say is true. The pale-faces did come at first in two or three canoes, and there were but few of them. We are ashamed, for it is true. A few pale-faces drove toward the setting sun many Injins. But we cannot be driven any further. We mean to stop here, and begin to take all the scalps we can. A great chief, who belongs to no one tribe, but belongs to all tribes, who speaks all tongues, has been sent by the Great Spirit to arouse us. He has done it. You know him. He came from the head of the lake with you, and kept his eye on your scalp. He has meant to take it from the first. He waited only for an opportunity. That opportunity has come, and we now mean to do as he has told us we ought to do. This is right. Squaws are in a hurry; warriors know how to wait. We would kill you at once, and hang your scalp on our pole, but it would not be right. We wish to do what is right. If we are poor Injins, and know but little, we know what is right. It is right to torment so great a brave, and we mean to do it. It is only just to you to do so. An old warrior who has seen so many enemies, and who has so big a heart, ought not to be knocked in the head like a pappoose or a squaw. It is his right to be tormented. We are getting ready, and shall soon begin. If my brother can tell us a new way of tormenting, we are willing to try it. Should we not make out as well as pale-faces, my brother will remember who we are. We mean to do our best, and we hope to make his heart soft. If we do this, great will be our honor. Should we not do it, we cannot help it. We shall try."
"Brother," said Bough of the Oak, stepping in front of the captive again, "you have a brave heart. It’s made of stone, not flesh. If our hearts are weak, yours is made of stone. What you say is true. The pale-faces did come at first in just a few canoes, and there weren't many of them. We are ashamed because it's true. A few pale-faces drove a lot of Indians toward the setting sun. But we can't be pushed any further. We intend to stop here and start taking all the scalps we can. A great chief, who isn't tied to any one tribe but belongs to all tribes, who speaks all languages, has been sent by the Great Spirit to wake us up. He has done it. You know him. He came from the head of the lake with you and kept his eye on your scalp. He has wanted to take it from the beginning. He just waited for the right moment. That moment has come, and we now plan to do what he has told us we should do. This is right. Women are in a hurry; warriors know how to be patient. We would kill you right now and hang your scalp on our pole, but that wouldn’t be right. We want to do what is just. If we are poor Indians and don’t know much, we know what is right. It is right to torment such a great brave, and we plan to do it. It’s only fair to you. An old warrior who has faced so many enemies and has such a big heart shouldn’t be killed like a child or a woman. It’s his right to be tormented. We are getting ready and will start soon. If my brother can suggest a new way to torment, we are open to trying it. If we don’t succeed as well as the pale-faces, my brother will remember who we are. We intend to do our best, and we hope to soften your heart. If we achieve this, we will gain great honor. If we don’t, there’s nothing we can do about it. We will try."
It was now the corporal's turn to put in a rebutter. This he did without any failure in will or performance. By this time he was so well warmed as to think or care very little about the saplings, and to overlook the pain they might occasion.
It was now the corporal's turn to make a rebuttal. He did this without any hesitation in his intent or execution. By this point, he was so fired up that he thought very little about the saplings and ignored the pain they might cause.
"Dogs can do little but bark; 'specially Injin dogs," he said. "Injins themselves are little better than their own dogs. They can bark, but they don't know how to bite. You have many great chiefs here. Some are panthers, and some bears, and some buffaloes; but where are your weasels? I have fit you now these twenty years, and never have I known ye to stand up to the baggonet. It's not Injin natur' to do that."
"Dogs can do nothing but bark, especially Indian dogs," he said. "Indians themselves are not much better than their dogs. They can bark, but they don’t know how to fight back. You have many great leaders here. Some are like panthers, some like bears, and some like buffaloes; but where are your weasels? I’ve fought you for twenty years now, and I’ve never known you to stand up to the bayonet. It’s just not in Indian nature to do that."
Here the corporal, without knowing it, made some such reproach to the aboriginal warriors of America as the English used to throw into the teeth of ourselves—that of not standing up to a weapon which neither party possessed. It was matter of great triumph that the Americans would not stand the charge of the bayonet at the renowned fight on Breed's, for instance, when it is well known that not one man in five among the colonists had any such weapon at all to "stand up" with. A different story was told at Guildford, and Stony Point, and Eutaw, and Bennington, and Bemis' Heights, and fifty other places that might be named, after the troops were furnished with bayonets. Then it was found that the Americans could use them as well as others, and so might it have proved with the red men, though their discipline, or mode of fighting, scarce admitted of such systematic charges. All this, however, the corporal overlooked, much as if he were a regular historian who was writing to make out a case.
Here the corporal, without realizing it, made a remark to the Native American warriors similar to what the English used to say about us—that they didn't stand up to a weapon neither side had. It was a big deal that the Americans wouldn't stand against the bayonet charge at the famous battle on Breed's Hill, even though it's well known that only one in five colonists even had such a weapon to defend themselves with. A different outcome was seen at Guildford, Stony Point, Eutaw, Bennington, Bemis Heights, and many other places once the troops were given bayonets. Then, it became clear that the Americans could use them just as well as anyone else, and the same might have been true for the Native Americans, although their fighting style didn't really allow for such organized charges. All of this, however, the corporal ignored, much like a typical historian trying to support a particular viewpoint.
"Harkee, brother, since you will call me brother; though, Heaven be praised, not a drop of nigger or Injin blood runs in my veins," resumed the corporal. "Harken, friend redskin, answer me one thing. Did you ever hear of such a man as Mad Anthony? He was the tickler for your infernal tribes! You pulled no saplings together for him. He put you up with 'the long-knives and leather-stockings,' and you outrun his fleetest horses. I was with him, and saw more naked backs than naked faces among your people, that day. Your Great Bear got a rap on his nose that sent him to his village yelping like a cur."
"Listen, brother, since you want to call me brother; though, thank heaven, not a drop of Black or Native blood runs in my veins," the corporal continued. "Hey, friend native, answer me one thing. Have you ever heard of a man called Mad Anthony? He was a real threat to your tribes! You didn’t stand a chance against him. He faced off with 'the long-knives and leather-stockings,' and you outran his fastest horses. I was with him, and that day, I saw more bare backs than bare faces among your people. Your Great Bear got a smack on his nose that sent him back to his village howling like a pup."
Again was the corporal compelled to stop to take breath. The allusion to Wayne, and his defeat of the Indians, excited so much ire, that several hands grasped knives and tomahawks, and one arrow was actually drawn nearly to the head; but the frown of Bear's Meat prevented any outbreak, or actual violence. It was deemed prudent, however, to put an end to this scene, lest the straightforward corporal, who laid it on heavily, and who had so much to say about Indian defeats, might actually succeed in touching some festering wound that would bring him to his death at once. It was, accordingly, determined to proceed with the torture of the saplings without further delay.
Again, the corporal had to stop to catch his breath. Bringing up Wayne and his victory over the Indians stirred up so much anger that several people grabbed knives and tomahawks, and one arrow was almost fully drawn; but Bear's Meat's glare kept any outburst or actual violence from happening. It was thought wise to wrap this up quickly, so the blunt corporal, who was going on a bit too much about Indian defeats, wouldn't accidentally hit a painful spot that could get him killed. Therefore, it was decided to continue with the torture of the saplings without any more delays.
The corporal was removed accordingly, and placed between the two bended trees, which were kept together by withes around their tops. An arm of the captive was bound tightly at the wrist to the top of each tree, so that his limbs were to act as the only tie between the saplings, as soon as the withes should be cut. The Indians now worked in silence, and the matter was getting to be much too serious for the corporal to indulge in any more words. The cold sweat returned, and many an anxious glance was cast by the veteran on the fell preparations. Still he maintained appearances, and when all was ready, not a man there was aware of the agony of dread which prevailed in the breast of the victim. It was not death that he feared as much as suffering. A few minutes, the corporal well knew, would make the pain intolerable, while he saw no hope of putting a speedy end to his existence. A man might live hours in such a situation. Then it was that the teachings of childhood were revived in the bosom of this hardened man, and he remembered the Being that died for him, in common with the rest of the human race, on the tree. The seeming similarity of his own execution struck his imagination, and brought a tardy but faint recollection of those lessons that had lost most of their efficacy in the wickedness and impiety of camps. His soul struggled for relief in that direction, but the present scene was too absorbing to admit of its lifting itself so far above his humanity.
The corporal was taken away and positioned between two bent trees, which were held together by strips of wood around their tops. One arm of the captive was tightly bound at the wrist to the top of each tree, so that his limbs acted as the only connection between the saplings, as soon as the strips were cut. The Indians worked silently, and it was becoming way too serious for the corporal to say anything more. Cold sweat returned, and many anxious glances were cast by the veteran at the grim preparations. Still, he kept up appearances, and when everything was ready, no one there knew about the intense dread that filled the victim's heart. It wasn't death he feared as much as pain. The corporal knew that in a few minutes, the pain would become unbearable, with no hope of a quick end to his life. A person might endure hours in such a situation. In that moment, the lessons from his childhood resurfaced in this hardened man, and he remembered the Being who died for him, just like everyone else, on the tree. The eerie similarity of his own execution captured his imagination and sparked a delayed but faint recollection of those lessons that had lost much of their impact amid the wickedness and irreverence of camp life. His soul sought relief in that direction, but the current situation was too consuming for him to rise above his humanity.
"Warrior of the pale-faces," said Bough of the Oak, "we are going to cut the withe. You will then be where a brave man will want all his courage. If you are firm, we will do you honor; if you faint and screech, our young men will laugh at you. This is the way with Injins. They honor braves; they point the finger at cowards."
"Warrior of the white settlers," said Bough of the Oak, "we're going to cut the vine. You’ll need all your courage once we do. If you stand strong, we will honor you; if you freak out and scream, our young men will mock you. That’s how it is with us Indians. We respect the brave; we call out the cowards."
Here a sign was made by Bear's Meat, and a warrior raised the tomahawk that was to separate the fastenings. His hand was in the very act of descending, when the crack of a rifle was heard, and a little smoke rose out of the thicket, near the spot where the bee-hunter and the corporal, himself, had remained so long hid, on the occasion of the council first held in that place. The tomahawk fell, however, the withes were parted, and up flew the saplings, with a violence that threatened to tear the arms of the victim out of their sockets.
Here, a signal was given by Bear's Meat, and a warrior lifted the tomahawk that was meant to cut the bindings. Just as his hand was about to come down, the sound of a rifle shot was heard, and a small puff of smoke rose from the bushes near where the bee-hunter and the corporal had been hiding for so long during the first council held in that spot. The tomahawk did fall, the bindings were cut, and the saplings shot up with such force that it seemed they might yank the victim's arms out of their sockets.
The Indians listened, expecting the screeches and groans;—they gazed, hoping to witness the writhings of their captive. But they were disappointed. There hung the body, its arms distended, still holding the tops of the saplings bowed, but not a sign of life was seen. A small line of blood trickled down the forehead, and above it was the nearly imperceptible hole made by the passage of a bullet. The head itself had fallen forward, and a little on one shoulder. The corporal had escaped the torments reserved for him, by this friendly blow.
The Indians listened, expecting to hear the screams and moans; they watched, hoping to see their captive struggling. But they were disappointed. The body hung there, its arms spread wide, still holding the tops of the bent saplings, yet there was no sign of life. A small trickle of blood ran down the forehead, with a barely noticeable hole above it from where the bullet had gone through. The head had fallen forward and tilted slightly to one side. The corporal had avoided the tortures meant for him, thanks to this merciful blow.
UNCLE JIM AND UNCLE BILLY
By BRET HARTE
From "Stories in Light and Shadow." Copyright 1888 and 1889 by Bret Harte.
From "Stories in Light and Shadow." Copyright 1888 and 1889 by Bret Harte.
They were partners. The avuncular title was bestowed on them by Cedar Camp, possibly in recognition of a certain matured good humor, quite distinct from the spasmodic exuberant spirits of its other members, and possibly from what, to its youthful sense, seemed their advanced ages—which must have been at least forty! They had also set habits even in their improvidence, lost incalculable and unpayable sums to each other over euchre regularly every evening, and inspected their sluice-boxes punctually every Saturday for repairs—which they never made. They even got to resemble each other, after the fashion of old married couples, or, rather, as in matrimonial partnerships, were subject to the domination of the stronger character; although in their case it is to be feared that it was the feminine Uncle Billy—enthusiastic, imaginative, and loquacious—who swayed the masculine, steady-going, and practical Uncle Jim. They had lived in the camp since its foundation in 1849; there seemed to be no reason why they should not remain there until its inevitable evolution into a mining-town. The younger members might leave through restless ambition or a desire for change or novelty; they were subject to no such trifling mutation. Yet Cedar Camp was surprised one day to hear that Uncle Billy was going away.
They were partners. The friendly title was given to them by Cedar Camp, likely in recognition of a certain mature good humor, quite different from the unpredictable enthusiasm of its other members, and possibly because, to its youthful perspective, they seemed older—at least forty! They had also developed routines even in their carelessness, losing countless and unpayable amounts to each other over euchre every evening, and checking their sluice boxes faithfully every Saturday for repairs—which they never completed. They even started to look like each other, much like old married couples, or rather, in their partnership, they were subject to the influence of the stronger personality; although in this case, it seems it was the more expressive Uncle Billy—enthusiastic, imaginative, and talkative—who influenced the steady, practical Uncle Jim. They had lived in the camp since it was founded in 1849, and there seemed to be no reason they shouldn't stay there until it eventually turned into a mining town. The younger members might leave because of restless ambition or a desire for change or something new; they were not affected by such trivial shifts. Yet, Cedar Camp was surprised one day to hear that Uncle Billy was leaving.
The rain was softly falling on the bark thatch of the cabin with a muffled murmur, like a sound heard through sleep. The southwest trades were warm even at that altitude, as the open door testified, although a fire of pine bark was flickering on the adobe hearth and striking out answering fires from the freshly scoured culinary utensils on the rude sideboard, which Uncle Jim had cleaned that morning with his usual serious persistency. Their best clothes, which were interchangeable and worn alternately by each other on festal occasions, hung on the walls, which were covered with a coarse sailcloth canvas instead of lath-and-plaster, and were diversified by pictures from illustrated papers and stains from the exterior weather. Two "bunks," like ships' berths,—an upper and lower one,—occupied the gable-end of this single apartment, and on beds of coarse sacking, filled with dry moss, were carefully rolled their respective blankets and pillows. They were the only articles not used in common, and whose individuality was respected.
The rain was gently falling on the bark thatch of the cabin, making a soft sound, like something heard in a dream. The southwest winds were warm even at that height, as the open door showed, even though a fire made of pine bark was flickering on the adobe hearth, sending sparks flying from the freshly cleaned cooking utensils on the rough sideboard, which Uncle Jim had scrubbed that morning with his usual determination. Their best clothes, which they switched back and forth for special occasions, hung on the walls. The walls were covered with a rough sailcloth instead of plaster, decorated with pictures from magazines and stains from the weather outside. Two “bunks,” similar to ship berths—one on top and one below—were against the gable end of this single room, with their respective blankets and pillows carefully rolled on beds made of coarse sacking filled with dry moss. These were the only items not shared, and their individuality was respected.
Uncle Jim, who had been sitting before the fire, rose as the square bulk of his partner appeared at the doorway with an armful of wood for the evening stove. By that sign he knew it was nine o'clock: for the last six years Uncle Billy had regularly brought in the wood at that hour, and Uncle Jim had as regularly closed the door after him, and set out their single table, containing a greasy pack of cards taken from its drawer, a bottle of whiskey, and two tin drinking-cups. To this was added a ragged memorandum-book and a stick of pencil. The two men drew their stools to the table.
Uncle Jim, who had been sitting by the fire, stood up when he saw his partner, Uncle Billy, enter the doorway with a load of wood for the evening stove. From that, he knew it was nine o'clock: for the past six years, Uncle Billy had consistently brought in the wood at that time, and Uncle Jim had similarly closed the door behind him and set up their small table, which held a greasy deck of cards pulled from its drawer, a bottle of whiskey, and two tin cups. Along with that, he added a worn-out notebook and a pencil. The two men pulled their stools up to the table.
"Hol' on a minit," said Uncle Billy.
"Hold on a minute," Uncle Billy said.
His partner laid down the cards as Uncle Billy extracted from his pocket a pill-box, and, opening it, gravely took a pill. This was clearly an innovation on their regular proceedings, for Uncle Billy was always in perfect health.
His partner laid down the cards while Uncle Billy took a pillbox out of his pocket and, after opening it, seriously swallowed a pill. This was obviously a change in their usual routine, since Uncle Billy was always in great health.
"What's this for?" asked Uncle Jim half scornfully.
"What's this for?" Uncle Jim asked, half mockingly.
"Agin ager."
"Again and again."
"You ain't got no ager," said Uncle Jim, with the assurance of intimate cognizance of his partner's physical condition.
"You don't have any age," said Uncle Jim, confidently aware of his partner's physical state.
"But it's a pow'ful preventive! Quinine! Saw this box at Riley's store, and laid out a quarter on it. We kin keep it here, comfortable, for evenings. It's mighty soothin' arter a man's done a hard day's work on the river-bar. Take one."
"But it's a powerful preventive! Quinine! I saw this box at Riley's store and spent a quarter on it. We can keep it here, comfortable, for the evenings. It's really soothing after a man has worked hard all day on the riverbank. Take one."
Uncle Jim gravely took a pill and swallowed it, and handed the box back to his partner.
Uncle Jim seriously took a pill, swallowed it, and passed the box back to his partner.
"We'll leave it on the table, sociable like, in case any of the boys come in," said Uncle Billy, taking up the cards. "Well. How de we stand?"
"We'll leave it on the table, you know, just in case any of the guys come in," said Uncle Billy, picking up the cards. "So, how are we doing?"
Uncle Jim consulted the memorandum-book. "You were owin' me sixty-two thousand dollars on the last game, and the limit's seventy-five thousand!"
Uncle Jim checked the memo pad. "You owed me sixty-two thousand dollars from the last game, and the limit is seventy-five thousand!"
"Je whillikins!" ejaculated Uncle Billy. "Let me see."
"Wow!" Uncle Billy exclaimed. "Let me see."
He examined the book, feebly attempted to challenge the additions, but with no effect on the total. "We oughter hev made the limit a hundred thousand," he said seriously; "seventy-five thousand is only triflin' in a game like ours. And you've set down my claim at Angel's?" he continued.
He looked over the book and weakly tried to dispute the entries, but it didn’t change the overall amount. "We should have set the limit at a hundred thousand," he said earnestly; "seventy-five thousand is just a small amount in a game like ours. And you've noted my claim at Angel's?" he went on.
"I allowed you ten thousand dollars for that," said Uncle Jim, with equal gravity, "and it's a fancy price too."
"I set aside ten thousand dollars for that," Uncle Jim said seriously, "and that's a steep price too."
The claim in question being an unprospected hillside ten miles distant, which Uncle Jim had never seen, and Uncle Billy had not visited for years, the statement was probably true; nevertheless, Uncle Billy retorted:—
The claim in question was an unprospected hillside ten miles away, which Uncle Jim had never seen, and Uncle Billy hadn't visited in years. The statement was probably true; however, Uncle Billy responded:—
"Ye kin never tell how these things will pan out. Why, only this mornin' I was taking a turn round Shot Up Hill, that ye know is just rotten with quartz and gold, and I couldn't help thinkin' how much it was like my ole claim at Angel's. I must take a day off to go on there and strike a pick in it, if only for luck."
"You can never predict how these things will turn out. Just this morning, I was taking a stroll around Shot Up Hill, which you know is just full of quartz and gold, and I couldn't help but think how much it reminded me of my old claim at Angel's. I really need to take a day off to go there and strike a pick in it, if only for good luck."
Suddenly he paused and said, "Strange, ain't it, you should speak of it to-night? Now I call that queer!"
Suddenly he stopped and said, "Weird, isn't it, that you would mention it tonight? I think that's strange!"
He laid down his cards and gazed mysteriously at his companion. Uncle Jim knew perfectly that Uncle Billy had regularly once a week for many years declared his final determination to go over to Angel's and prospect his claim, yet nevertheless he half responded to his partner's suggestion of mystery, and a look of fatuous wonder crept into his eyes. But he contented himself by saying cautiously, "You spoke of it first."
He put down his cards and looked mysteriously at his friend. Uncle Jim knew very well that Uncle Billy had repeatedly insisted for many years that he was finally going to Angel's to check out his claim. Still, he somewhat engaged with his partner's air of mystery, and a look of silly wonder appeared in his eyes. But he played it safe and replied, "You brought it up first."
"That's the more sing'lar," said Uncle Billy confidently. "And I've been thinking about it, and kinder seeing myself thar all day. It's mighty queer!" He got up and began to rummage among some torn and coverless books in the corner.
"That's the more unusual," said Uncle Billy confidently. "And I've been thinking about it, and kind of imagining myself there all day. It's really strange!" He got up and started to search through some tattered and coverless books in the corner.
"Where's that 'Dream Book' gone to?"
"Where did that 'Dream Book' go?"
"The Carson boys borrowed it," replied Uncle Jim.
"The Carson boys borrowed it," Uncle Jim said.
"Anyhow, yours wasn't no dream—only a kind o' vision, and the book don't take no stock in visions." Nevertheless, he watched his partner with some sympathy, and added, "That reminds me that I had a dream the other night of being in 'Frisco at a small hotel, with heaps o' money, and all the time being sort o' scared and bewildered over it."
"Anyway, what you experienced wasn't a dream—just a kind of vision, and the book doesn't put any weight on visions." Still, he looked at his partner with some sympathy and added, "That makes me think about the dream I had the other night about being in San Francisco at a small hotel, having loads of money, but feeling kind of scared and confused about it all the time."
"No?" queried his partner eagerly yet reproachfully. "You never let on anything about it to me! It's mighty queer you havin' these strange feelin's, for I've had 'em myself. And only to-night, comin' up from the spring, I saw two crows hopping in the trail, and I says, 'If I see another, it's luck, sure!' And you'll think I'm lyin', but when I went to the wood-pile just now there was the third one sittin' up on a log as plain as I see you. Tell 'e what folks ken laugh—but that's just what Jim Filgee saw the night before he made the big strike!"
"Really?" his partner asked eagerly but with a hint of reproach. "You never mentioned anything about it to me! It's pretty strange that you have these unusual feelings because I've experienced them too. Just tonight, on my way back from the spring, I saw two crows hopping along the path, and I thought, 'If I see another one, it will be good luck for sure!' You might think I'm making this up, but when I went to the woodpile just now, there was the third one sitting on a log, just as clearly as I see you. People can laugh, but that's exactly what Jim Filgee saw the night before he hit it big!"
They were both smiling, yet with an underlying credulity and seriousness as singularly pathetic as it seemed incongruous to their years and intelligence. Small wonder, however, that in their occupation and environment—living daily in an atmosphere of hope, expectation, and chance, looking forward each morning to the blind stroke of a pick that might bring fortune—they should see signs in nature and hear mystic voices in the trackless woods that surrounded them. Still less strange that they were peculiarly susceptible to the more recognized diversions of chance, and were gamblers on the turning of a card who trusted to the revelation of a shovelful of upturned earth.
They were both smiling, but there was a deeper naivety and seriousness in them that felt oddly out of place given their age and intelligence. It’s no surprise, though, that in their line of work and living daily in a world full of hope, anticipation, and uncertainty—waking up each morning with the hope that a single swing of a pick might change their fortunes—they would notice signs in nature and hear mysterious voices in the vast woods around them. It’s even less surprising that they were particularly drawn to more well-known forms of chance, playing cards and banking on the secrets revealed by a shovelful of dirt.
It was quite natural, therefore, that they should return from their abstract form of divination to the table and their cards. But they were scarcely seated before they heard a crackling step in the brush outside, and the free latch of their door was lifted. A younger member of the camp entered. He uttered a peevish "Halloo!" which might have passed for a greeting, or might have been a slight protest at finding the door closed, drew the stool from which Uncle Jim had just risen before the fire, shook his wet clothes like a Newfoundland dog, and sat down. Yet he was by no means churlish nor coarse-looking, and this act was rather one of easy-going, selfish, youthful familiarity than of rudeness. The cabin of Uncles Billy and Jim was considered a public right or "common" of the camp. Conferences between individual miners were appointed there. "I'll meet you at Uncle Billy's" was a common tryst. Added to this was a tacit claim upon the partners' arbitrative powers, or the equal right to request them to step outside if the interviews were of a private nature. Yet there was never any objection on the part of the partners, and to-night there was not a shadow of resentment of this intrusion in the patient, good-humored, tolerant eyes of Uncles Jim and Billy as they gazed at their guest. Perhaps there was a slight gleam of relief in Uncle Jim's when he found that the guest was unaccompanied by any one, and that it was not a tryst. It would have been unpleasant for the two partners to have stayed out in the rain while their guests were exchanging private confidences in their cabin. While there might have been no limit to their good will, there might have been some to their capacity for exposure.
It made perfect sense, then, for them to move from their abstract form of divination back to the table and their cards. But they had barely sat down before they heard a crackling sound from the brush outside, and the latch on their door lifted. A younger member of the camp entered. He called out a surly "Hello!" that could have been a greeting or a mild complaint about the door being closed, pulled the stool that Uncle Jim had just vacated in front of the fire, shook off his wet clothes like a Newfoundland dog, and sat down. However, he didn’t look rude or rough; his behavior was more of an easygoing, self-centered kind of youthful familiarity than rudeness. Uncle Billy's and Uncle Jim's cabin was regarded as a public space or "common" for the camp. Meetings among individual miners were often set there. "I'll meet you at Uncle Billy's" was a common arrangement. This also implied a tacit understanding that the partners could act as mediators or could be asked to step outside if the conversations were private. Yet, the partners never objected to this, and tonight there wasn’t even a hint of annoyance in the patient, good-natured, tolerant expressions of Uncles Jim and Billy as they looked at their guest. There might have even been a flicker of relief in Uncle Jim’s eyes when he realized that the guest was alone and it wasn’t a meeting. It would have been awkward for the two partners to be stuck outside in the rain while their guests were sharing private conversations in their cabin. Although their goodwill was limitless, their tolerance for getting soaked might not have been.
Uncle Jim drew a huge log from beside the hearth and sat on the driest end of it, while their guest occupied the stool. The young man, without turning away from his discontented, peevish brooding over the fire, vaguely reached backward for the whiskey-bottle and Uncle Billy's tin cup, to which he was assisted by the latter's hospitable hand. But on setting down the cup his eye caught sight of the pill-box.
Uncle Jim pulled a big log from next to the fireplace and sat on the driest end, while their guest took the stool. The young man, still sulking over the fire, reached behind him for the whiskey bottle and Uncle Billy's tin cup, which he was given by Uncle Billy's friendly hand. But when he set the cup down, he noticed the pillbox.
"Wot's that?" he said, with gloomy scorn. "Rat poison?"
"Wha's that?" he said, with dark sarcasm. "Rat poison?"
"Quinine pills—agin ager," said Uncle Jim. "The newest thing out. Keeps out damp like Injin-rubber! Take one to follow yer whiskey. Me and Uncle Billy wouldn't think o' settin' down, quiet like, in the evening arter work, without 'em. Take one—ye'r welcome! We keep 'em out here for the boys."
"Quinine pills—against the chill," said Uncle Jim. "The latest thing out. Keeps the damp away like Indian rubber! Take one after your whiskey. Uncle Billy and I wouldn’t even think about sitting down quietly in the evening after work without them. Take one—you’re welcome! We keep them out here for the guys."
Accustomed as the partners were to adopt and wear each other's opinions before folks, as they did each other's clothing, Uncle Billy was, nevertheless, astonished and delighted at Uncle Jim's enthusiasm over his pills. The guest took one and swallowed it.
Accustomed as the partners were to adopting and flaunting each other's opinions in front of others, just like they did with each other's clothing, Uncle Billy was, nonetheless, surprised and pleased by Uncle Jim's excitement about his pills. The guest took one and swallowed it.
"Mighty bitter!" he said, glancing at his hosts with the quick Californian suspicion of some practical joke. But the honest faces of the partners reassured him.
"Mighty bitter!" he said, looking at his hosts with the quick California suspicion of some prank. But the genuine expressions of the partners put him at ease.
"That bitterness ye taste," said Uncle Jim quickly, "is whar the thing's gittin' in its work. Sorter sickenin' the malaria—and kinder water-proofin' the insides all to onct and at the same lick! Don't yer see? Put another in yer vest pocket; you'll be cryin' for 'em like a child afore ye get home. Thar! Well, how's things agoin' on your claim, Dick? Boomin', eh?"
"That bitterness you taste," said Uncle Jim quickly, "is where it's doing its job. Sort of getting rid of the malaria—and kind of waterproofing your insides all at once! Don’t you see? Put another one in your pocket; you’ll be begging for them like a child before you get home. There! So, how's everything going on your claim, Dick? Booming, huh?"
The guest raised his head and turned it sufficiently to fling his answer back over his shoulder at his hosts. "I don't know what you'd call 'boomin','" he said gloomily; "I suppose you two men sitting here comfortably by the fire, without caring whether school keeps or not, would call two feet of backwater over one's claim 'boomin';' I reckon you'd consider a hundred and fifty feet of sluicing carried away, and drifting to thunder down the South Fork, something in the way of advertising to your old camp! I suppose you'd think it was an inducement to investors! I shouldn't wonder," he added still more gloomily, as a sudden dash of rain down the wide-throated chimney dropped in his tin cup—"and it would be just like you two chaps, sittin' there gormandizing over your quinine—if yer said this rain that's lasted three weeks was something to be proud of!"
The guest lifted his head and turned enough to throw his response back over his shoulder at his hosts. "I don't know what you'd consider 'booming,'" he said gloomily; "I guess you two guys sitting here comfortably by the fire, not caring whether school is in session or not, would think that having two feet of backwater on your claim is 'booming;' I bet you'd see a hundred and fifty feet of sluicing washed away and drifting violently down the South Fork as some kind of advertisement for your old camp! I suppose you'd think it was a selling point for investors! I wouldn't be surprised," he added even more gloomily, as a sudden splash of rain down the wide chimney fell into his tin cup—"and it would be just like you two to sit there enjoying your quinine—if you claimed this rain that's been going on for three weeks is something to be proud of!"
It was the cheerful and the satisfying custom of the rest of the camp, for no reason whatever, to hold Uncle Jim and Uncle Billy responsible for its present location, its vicissitudes, the weather, or any convulsion of nature; and it was equally the partners' habit, for no reason whatever, to accept these animadversions and apologize.
It was a cheerful and satisfying tradition among the rest of the camp to blame Uncle Jim and Uncle Billy for where they were located, any ups and downs, the weather, or any natural disasters, for no reason at all; and it was just as common for the partners to accept this criticism and apologize, also for no reason at all.
"It's a rain that's soft and mellowin'," said Uncle Billy gently, "and supplin' to the sinews and muscles. Did ye ever notice, Jim"—ostentatiously to his partner—"did ye ever notice that you get inter a kind o' sweaty lather workin' in it? Sorter openin' to the pores!"
"It's a rain that's soft and gentle," said Uncle Billy softly, "and soothing to the muscles and joints. Have you ever noticed, Jim"—pointing out to his partner—"have you ever noticed that you get a bit sweaty working in it? Kind of opens up the pores!"
"Fetches 'em every time," said Uncle Billy. "Better nor fancy soap."
"Gets them every time," said Uncle Billy. "Better than fancy soap."
Their guest laughed bitterly. "Well, I'm going to leave it to you. I reckon to cut the whole concern to-morrow, and 'lite' out for something new. It can't be worse than this."
Their guest laughed harshly. "Well, I'm leaving it up to you. I plan to cut ties with the whole thing tomorrow and head out for something new. It can't be worse than this."
The two partners looked grieved, albeit they were accustomed to these outbursts. Everybody who thought of going away from Cedar Camp used it first as a threat to these patient men, after the fashion of runaway nephews, or made an exemplary scene of their going.
The two partners looked upset, even though they were used to these outbursts. Everyone who considered leaving Cedar Camp first used it as a threat to these patient men, like runaway nephews, or put on a dramatic show when they did leave.
"Better think twice afore ye go," said Uncle Billy.
"Better think twice before you go," said Uncle Billy.
"I've seen worse weather afore ye came," said Uncle Jim slowly. "Water all over the Bar; the mud so deep ye couldn't get to Angel's for a sack o' flour, and we had to grub on pine nuts and jackass-rabbits. And yet—we stuck by the camp, and here we are!"
"I've seen worse weather before you arrived," Uncle Jim said slowly. "Water everywhere on the Bar; the mud so deep you couldn't get to Angel's for a bag of flour, and we had to survive on pine nuts and jackrabbits. And yet—we stayed with the camp, and here we are!"
The mild answer apparently goaded their guest to fury. He rose from his seat, threw back his long dripping hair from his handsome but querulous face, and scattered a few drops on the partners. "Yes, that's just it. That's what gets me! Here you stick, and here you are! And here you'll stick and rust until you starve or drown! Here you are,—two men who ought to be out in the world, playing your part as grown men,—-stuck here like children 'playing house' in the woods; playing work in your wretched mud-pie ditches, and content. Two men not so old that you mightn't be taking your part in the fun of the world, going to balls or theatres, or paying attention to girls, and yet old enough to have married and have your families around you, content to stay in this God-forsaken place; old bachelors, pigging together like poor-house paupers. That's what gets me! Say you like it? Say you expect by hanging on to make a strike—and what does that amount to? What are your chances? How many of us have made, or are making, more than grub wages? Say you're willing to share and share alike as you do—have you got enough for two? Aren't you actually living off each other? Aren't you grinding each other down, choking each other's struggles, as you sink together deeper and deeper in the mud of this cussed camp? And while you're doing this, aren't you, by your age and position here, holding out hopes to others that you know cannot be fulfilled?"
The mild response seemed to provoke their guest into anger. He stood up, tossed his long, wet hair away from his attractive but whiny face, and splattered a few drops on the partners. "Yes, that's exactly it. That's what drives me crazy! Here you are, stuck! And you'll just remain stuck and rust until you either starve or drown! Here you are—two guys who should be out in the world, playing your roles as grown men—stuck here like kids ‘playing house’ in the woods; pretending to work in your miserable mud-pie ditches, and acting like that’s okay. Two men not so old that you couldn’t be enjoying life, going to parties or theaters, or dating girls, and yet old enough that you could’ve married and had families around you, content to stay in this godforsaken place; old bachelors, living together like poorhouse tenants. That’s what bothers me! Say you like it? Say you think by sticking around you’ll hit it big—and what does that even mean? What are your chances? How many of us have made, or are making, more than just enough to eat? Say you’re willing to split everything equally like you do—do you have enough for two? Aren't you really living off one another? Aren't you dragging each other down, choking each other's efforts as you sink deeper and deeper into the mud of this awful camp? And while you’re doing this, aren’t you, by your age and position here, giving others hopes that you know can’t be fulfilled?"
Accustomed as they were to the half-querulous, half-humorous, but always extravagant, criticism of the others, there was something so new in this arraignment of themselves that the partners for a moment sat silent. There was a slight flush on Uncle Billy's cheek, there was a slight paleness on Uncle Jim's. He was the first to reply. But he did so with a certain dignity which neither his partner nor their guest had ever seen on his face before.
Accustomed as they were to the half-complaining, half-funny, but always over-the-top, criticism from others, there was something so fresh in this self-critique that the partners sat in silence for a moment. Uncle Billy had a slight flush on his cheek, while Uncle Jim appeared a bit pale. He was the first to respond. But he did so with a level of dignity that neither his partner nor their guest had ever seen on his face before.
"As it's our fire that's warmed ye up like this, Dick Bullen," he said, slowly rising, with his hand resting on Uncle Billy's shoulder, "and as it's our whiskey that's loosened your tongue, I reckon we must put up with what ye'r' saying, just as we've managed to put up with our own way o' living, and not quo'll with ye under our own roof."
"As it's our fire that's warmed you up like this, Dick Bullen," he said, slowly getting up, with his hand on Uncle Billy's shoulder, "and since it's our whiskey that's made you talk, I guess we have to deal with what you're saying, just like we've put up with our own way of living, and we won't argue with you in our own home."
The young fellow saw the change in Uncle Jim's face and quickly extended his hand, with an apologetic backward shake of his long hair. "Hang it all, old man," he said, with a laugh of mingled contrition and amusement, "you mustn't mind what I said just now. I've been so worried thinking of things about myself and, maybe, a little about you, that I quite forgot I hadn't a call to preach to anybody—least of all to you. So we part friends, Uncle Jim, and you too, Uncle Billy, and you'll forget what I said. In fact, I don't know why I spoke at all—only I was passing your claim just now, and wondering how much longer your old sluice-boxes would hold out, and where in thunder you'd get others when they caved in! I reckon that sent me off. That's all, old chap!"
The young guy noticed the change in Uncle Jim's expression and quickly reached out his hand, tossing his long hair back apologetically. "Sorry about that, old man," he said, laughing with a mix of regret and amusement, "you shouldn’t take what I said just now to heart. I've been so stressed out thinking about myself and, maybe, a bit about you, that I completely forgot I had no right to preach to anyone—especially not to you. So we’re good, Uncle Jim, and you too, Uncle Billy, and just pretend I didn’t say anything. Honestly, I don’t even know why I spoke up at all—just drove past your claim a minute ago, wondering how much longer your old sluice boxes would last, and where in the world you’d get new ones when they broke down! I guess that got me going. That’s all, buddy!"
Uncle Billy's face broke into a beaming smile of relief, and it was his hand that first grasped his guest's; Uncle Jim quickly followed with as honest a pressure, but with eyes that did not seem to be looking at Bullen, though all trace of resentment had died out of them. He walked to the door with him, again shook hands, but remained looking out in the darkness some time after Dick Bullen's tangled hair and broad shoulders had disappeared.
Uncle Billy's face lit up with a huge smile of relief, and his hand was the first to reach out to his guest; Uncle Jim quickly followed with a firm handshake, though his eyes seemed to gaze past Bullen, with all traces of resentment gone. He walked to the door with him, shook hands once more, and continued to stare into the darkness long after Dick Bullen's messy hair and broad shoulders had vanished.
Meantime, Uncle Billy had resumed his seat and was chuckling and reminiscent as he cleaned out his pipe.
Meantime, Uncle Billy had taken his seat again and was chuckling and reminiscing as he cleaned out his pipe.
"Kinder reminds me of Jo Sharp, when he was cleaned out at poker by his own partners in his own cabin, comin' up here and bedevilin' us about it! What was it you lint him?"
"Kinder reminds me of Jo Sharp when he got wiped out at poker by his own partners in his own cabin, coming up here and bothering us about it! What did you lend him?"
But Uncle Jim did not reply; and Uncle Billy, taking up the cards, began to shuffle them, smiling vaguely, yet at the same time somewhat painfully. "Arter all, Dick was mighty cut up about what he said, and I felt kinder sorry for him. And, you know, I rather cotton to a man that speaks his mind. Sorter clears him out, you know, of all the slumgullion that's in him. It's just like washin' out a pan o' prospecting: you pour in the water, and keep slushing it round and round, and out comes first the mud and dirt, and then the gravel, and then the black sand, and then—it's all out, and there's a speck o' gold glistenin' at the bottom!"
But Uncle Jim didn’t respond; and Uncle Billy, picking up the cards, started shuffling them, smiling vaguely but also a bit painfully. "After all, Dick was really upset about what he said, and I felt kind of sorry for him. And you know, I actually like a guy who speaks his mind. Sort of clears out all the junk that’s in him, you know? It's just like washing out a pan for prospecting: you pour in the water, keep sloshing it around, and out comes the mud and dirt first, then the gravel, then the black sand, and then—it's all gone, and there’s a little speck of gold shining at the bottom!"
"Then you think there was suthin' in what he said?" said Uncle Jim, facing about slowly.
"Then you think there was something in what he said?" Uncle Jim asked, turning around slowly.
An odd tone in his voice made Uncle Billy look up. "No," he said quickly, shying with the instinct of an easy pleasure-loving nature from a possible grave situation. "No, I don't think he ever got the color! But wot are ye moonin' about for? Ain't ye goin' to play? It's mor' 'n half past nine now."
An unusual tone in his voice made Uncle Billy glance up. "No," he replied quickly, instinctively avoiding what could be an awkward situation. "No, I don't think he ever got the color! But what are you daydreaming about? Aren't you going to play? It's already past half past nine."
Thus adjured, Uncle Jim moved up to the table and sat down, while Uncle Billy dealt the cards, turning up the Jack or right bower—but without that exclamation of delight which always accompanied his good fortune, nor did Uncle Jim respond with the usual corresponding simulation of deep disgust. Such a circumstance had not occurred before in the history of their partnership. They both played in silence—a silence only interrupted by a larger splash of raindrops down the chimney.
Thus urged, Uncle Jim moved to the table and sat down, while Uncle Billy dealt the cards, revealing the Jack or right bower—but without the usual shout of joy that always came with his good luck, nor did Uncle Jim react with the customary show of deep disgust. This situation had never happened before in the history of their partnership. They both played in silence—a silence only broken by a bigger splash of raindrops down the chimney.
"We orter put a couple of stones on the chimney-top, edgewise, like Jack Curtis does. It keeps out the rain without interferin' with the draft," said Uncle Billy musingly.
"We should put a couple of stones on the chimney top, standing on their edge, like Jack Curtis does. It keeps out the rain without messing with the draft," said Uncle Billy thoughtfully.
"What's the use if"—
"What's the point if"—
"If what?" said Uncle Billy quietly.
"If what?" Uncle Billy asked quietly.
"If we don't make it broader," said Uncle Jim half wearily.
"If we don't make it broader," Uncle Jim said, sounding half tired.
They both stared at the chimney, but Uncle Jim's eye followed the wall around to the bunks. There were many discolorations on the canvas, and a picture of the Goddess of Liberty from an illustrated paper had broken out in a kind of damp, measly eruption. "I'll stick that funny handbill of the 'Washin' Soda' I got at the grocery store the other day right over the Liberty gal. It's a mighty perty woman washin' with short sleeves," said Uncle Billy. "That's the comfort of them picters, you kin always get somethin' new, and it adds thickness to the wall."
They both looked at the chimney, but Uncle Jim’s gaze moved along the wall to the bunks. There were a lot of stains on the canvas, and an image of the Goddess of Liberty from an illustrated newspaper had developed in a sort of damp, spotty way. “I’m going to slap that silly handbill of the ‘Washin’ Soda’ I picked up at the grocery store the other day right over the Liberty girl. It’s a really pretty woman washing with short sleeves,” Uncle Billy said. “That’s the nice thing about those pictures, you can always find something new, and it makes the wall thicker.”
Uncle Jim went back to the cards in silence. After a moment he rose again, and hung his overcoat against the door.
Uncle Jim returned to the cards in silence. After a moment, he stood up again and hung his overcoat on the door.
"Wind's comin' in," he said briefly.
"Wind's coming in," he said briefly.
"Yes," said Uncle Billy cheerfully, "but it wouldn't seem nat'ral if there wasn't that crack in the door to let the sunlight in o' mornin's. Makes a kind o' sundial, you know. When the streak o' light's in that corner, I says 'six o'clock!' when it's across the chimney I say 'seven!' and so 'tis!"
"Yes," Uncle Billy said cheerfully, "but it wouldn't feel natural if there wasn't that crack in the door to let the sunlight in during the mornings. It makes a kind of sundial, you know. When the beam of light is in that corner, I say 'six o'clock!' and when it's across the chimney, I say 'seven!' and that's that!"
It certainly had grown chilly, and the wind was rising. The candle guttered and flickered; the embers on the hearth brightened occasionally, as if trying to dispel the gathering shadows, but always ineffectually. The game was frequently interrupted by the necessity of stirring the fire. After an interval of gloom, in which each partner successively drew the candle to his side to examine his cards, Uncle Jim said:—
It had definitely gotten colder, and the wind was picking up. The candle flickered and sputtered; the embers in the fireplace occasionally flared up, as if they were trying to chase away the encroaching darkness, but they never quite managed to. The game was often paused to poke the fire. After a moment of gloom, during which each player pulled the candle closer to check their cards, Uncle Jim said:—
"Say?"
"What's up?"
"Well!" responded Uncle Billy.
"Well!" replied Uncle Billy.
"Are you sure you saw that third crow on the wood-pile?"
"Are you sure you saw that third crow on the wood pile?"
"Sure as I see you now—and a darned sight plainer. Why?"
"Sure as I can see you now—and a lot clearer. Why?"
"Nothin', I was just thinkin'. Look here! How do we stand now?"
"Nah, I was just thinking. Look! Where do we stand now?"
Uncle Billy was still losing. "Nevertheless," he said cheerfully, "I'm owin' you a matter of sixty thousand dollars."
Uncle Billy was still losing. "But hey," he said cheerfully, "I still owe you about sixty thousand dollars."
Uncle Jim examined the book abstractedly. "Suppose," he said slowly, but without looking at his partner, "suppose, as it's gettin' late now, we play for my half share of the claim agin the limit—seventy thousand—to square up."
Uncle Jim looked at the book absentmindedly. "What if," he said slowly, not even glancing at his partner, "what if, since it's getting late now, we bet my half of the claim against the limit—seventy thousand—to settle things up?"
"Your half share!" repeated Uncle Billy, with amused incredulity.
"Your half share!" Uncle Billy repeated, laughing in disbelief.
"My half share of the claim,—of this yer house, you know,—one-half of all that Dick Bullen calls our rotten starvation property," reiterated Uncle Jim, with a half smile.
"My half of the claim—of this house, you know—half of everything that Dick Bullen calls our lousy starvation property," Uncle Jim repeated, with a half-smile.
Uncle Billy laughed. It was a novel idea; it was, of course, "all in the air," like the rest of their game, yet even then he had an odd feeling that he would have liked Dick Bullen to have known it. "Wade in, old pard," he said. "I'm on it."
Uncle Billy laughed. It was a new idea; it was, of course, "all up in the air," like the rest of their game, yet even then he had a strange feeling that he would have liked Dick Bullen to know about it. "Jump in, buddy," he said. "I'm on it."
Uncle Jim lit another candle to reinforce the fading light, and the deal fell to Uncle Billy. He turned up Jack of clubs. He also turned a little redder as he took up his cards, looked at them, and glanced hastily at his partner. "It's no use playing," he said. "Look here!" He laid down his cards on the table. They were the ace, king and queen of clubs, and Jack of spades,—or left bower,—which, with the turned-up Jack of clubs,—or right bower,—comprised all the winning cards!
Uncle Jim lit another candle to brighten the dim light, and the deal passed to Uncle Billy. He revealed the Jack of clubs. He also blushed a bit more as he picked up his cards, looked at them, and quickly glanced at his partner. "There's no point in playing," he said. "Check this out!" He laid his cards on the table. They were the ace, king, and queen of clubs, and the Jack of spades—his left bower—which, along with the revealed Jack of clubs—his right bower—made up all the winning cards!
"By jingo! If we'd been playin' fourhanded, say you an' me agin some other ducks, we'd have made 'four' in that deal, and h'isted some money—eh?" and his eyes sparkled. Uncle Jim, also, had a slight tremulous light in his own.
"Wow! If we had been playing a four-handed game, you and me against some other players, we would have made 'four' in that deal and pulled in some cash—right?" His eyes sparkled. Uncle Jim also had a slight, excited gleam in his own eyes.
"Oh no! I didn't see no three crows this afternoon," added Uncle Billy gleefully, as his partner, in turn, began to shuffle the cards with laborious and conscientious exactitude. Then dealing, he turned up a heart for trumps. Uncle Billy took up his cards one by one, but when he had finished his face had become as pale as it had been red before. "What's the matter?" said Uncle Jim quickly, his own face growing white.
"Oh no! I didn't see any three crows this afternoon," Uncle Billy said happily, while his partner started to shuffle the cards with careful precision. Then, while dealing, he revealed a heart as trump. Uncle Billy picked up his cards one by one, but by the end, his face was as pale as it had been red before. "What's wrong?" Uncle Jim asked quickly, his own face turning white.
Uncle Billy slowly and with breathless awe laid down his cards, face up on the table. It was exactly the same sequence in hearts, with the knave of diamonds added. He could again take every trick.
Uncle Billy slowly and with breathless awe laid down his cards, face up on the table. It was exactly the same sequence in hearts, with the jack of diamonds added. He could once again take every trick.
They stared at each other with vacant faces and a half-drawn smile of fear. They could hear the wind moaning in the trees beyond; there was a sudden rattling at the door. Uncle Billy started to his feet, but Uncle Jim caught his arm. "Don't leave the cards! It's only the wind; sit down," he said in a low awe-hushed voice, "it's your deal; you were two before, and two now, that makes you four; you've only one point to make to win the game. Go on."
They looked at each other with blank expressions and a nervous half-smile. They could hear the wind howling through the trees outside; suddenly, there was a loud rattle at the door. Uncle Billy jumped to his feet, but Uncle Jim grabbed his arm. "Don't leave the cards! It's just the wind; sit back down," he said in a quiet, hushed tone. "It's your turn to deal; you were two before, and two now, so that makes four; you just need one more point to win the game. Go ahead."
They both poured out a cup of whiskey, smiling vaguely, yet with a certain terror in their eyes. Their hands were cold; the cards slipped from Uncle Billy's benumbed fingers; when he had shuffled them he passed them to his partner to shuffle them also, but did not speak. When Uncle Jim had shuffled them methodically he handed them back fatefully to his partner. Uncle Billy dealt them with a trembling hand. He turned up a club. "If you are sure of these tricks you know you've won," said Uncle Jim in a voice that was scarcely audible. Uncle Billy did not reply, but tremulously laid down the ace and right and left bowers.
They both poured themselves a glass of whiskey, smiling faintly, but there was a hint of fear in their eyes. Their hands were cold; the cards slipped from Uncle Billy's numb fingers. After shuffling them, he passed the cards to his partner to shuffle as well, but didn’t say anything. Once Uncle Jim had shuffled them carefully, he handed them back to his partner with a sense of inevitability. Uncle Billy dealt the cards with a shaky hand. He revealed a club. "If you’re sure about these tricks, you know you’ve won," Uncle Jim said, his voice barely above a whisper. Uncle Billy didn’t respond but nervously laid down the ace and the right and left bowers.
He had won!
He won!
A feeling of relief came over each, and they laughed hysterically and discordantly. Ridiculous and childish as their contest might have seemed to a looker-on, to each the tension had been as great as that of the greatest gambler, without the gambler's trained restraint, coolness, and composure. Uncle Billy nervously took up the cards again.
A wave of relief washed over each of them, and they laughed in a wild and chaotic way. Ridiculous and childish as their competition might have appeared to an outside observer, the pressure on each of them felt just as intense as that of a serious gambler, but without the gambler's experience, calmness, and control. Uncle Billy nervously picked up the cards again.
"Don't," said Uncle Jim gravely; "it's no use—the luck's gone now."
"Don't," Uncle Jim said seriously; "it won't help—the luck is gone now."
"Just one more deal," pleaded his partner.
"Just one more deal," his partner begged.
Uncle Jim looked at the fire, Uncle Billy hastily dealt, and threw the two hands face up on the table. They were the ordinary average cards. He dealt again, with the same result. "I told you so," said Uncle Jim, without looking up.
Uncle Jim stared at the fire, Uncle Billy quickly dealt, and laid the two hands face up on the table. They were just your average cards. He dealt again, with the same outcome. "I told you so," Uncle Jim said, not even glancing up.
It certainly seemed a tame performance after their wonderful hands, and after another trial Uncle Billy threw the cards aside and drew his stool before the fire. "Mighty queer, warn't it?" he said, with reminiscent awe. "Three times running. Do you know, I felt a kind o' creepy feelin' down my back all the time. Criky! what luck! None of the boys would believe it if we told 'em—least of all that Dick Bullen, who don't believe in luck, anyway. Wonder what he'd have said! and, Lord! how he'd have looked! Wall! what are you starin' so for?"
It definitely felt like a tame performance after their amazing skills, and after another round, Uncle Billy tossed the cards aside and pulled his stool closer to the fire. "That was really strange, wasn't it?" he said, with a hint of nostalgia. "Three times in a row. You know, I had this creepy feeling down my back the whole time. Wow! What luck! None of the guys would believe it if we told them—especially not Dick Bullen, who doesn’t believe in luck anyway. I wonder what he would have said! And, man, how he would have reacted! Well! Why are you staring like that?"
Uncle Jim had faced around, and was gazing at Uncle Billy's good-humored, simple face. "Nothin'!" he said briefly, and his eyes again sought the fire.
Uncle Jim turned around and looked at Uncle Billy's cheerful, uncomplicated face. "Nothing!" he said shortly, and his eyes returned to the fire.
"Then don't look as if you was seein' suthin'—you give me the creeps," returned Uncle Billy a little petulantly. "Let's turn in, afore the fire goes out!"
"Then don't look like you're seeing anything—you're giving me the creeps," Uncle Billy replied a bit irritably. "Let's go to bed before the fire goes out!"
The fateful cards were put back into the drawer, the table shoved against the wall. The operation of undressing was quickly got over, the clothes they wore being put on top of their blankets. Uncle Billy yawned, "I wonder what kind of a dream I'll have to-night—it oughter be suthin' to explain that luck." This was his "good-night" to his partner. In a few moments he was sound asleep.
The fateful cards were put back in the drawer, and the table was pushed against the wall. They quickly got out of their clothes, laying them on top of their blankets. Uncle Billy yawned, "I wonder what kind of dream I’ll have tonight—it should be something to explain that luck." This was his way of saying "good night" to his partner. In a few moments, he was fast asleep.
Not so Uncle Jim. He heard the wind gradually go down, and in the oppressive silence that followed could detect the deep breathing of his companion and the far-off yelp of a coyote. His eyesight becoming accustomed to the semi-darkness, broken only by the scintillation of the dying embers of their fire, he could take in every detail of their sordid cabin and the rude environment in which they had lived so long. The dismal patches on the bark roof, the wretched makeshifts of each day, the dreary prolongation of discomfort, were all plain to him now, without the sanguine hope that had made them bearable. And when he shut his eyes upon them, it was only to travel in fancy down the steep mountain side that he had trodden so often to the dreary claim on the overflowed river, to the heaps of "tailings" that encumbered it, like empty shells of the hollow, profitless days spent there, which they were always waiting for the stroke of good fortune to clear away. He saw again the rotten "sluicing," through whose hopeless rifts and holes even their scant daily earnings had become scantier. At last he arose, and with infinite gentleness let himself down from his berth without disturbing his sleeping partner, and wrapping himself in his blanket, went to the door, which he noiselessly opened. From the position of a few stars that were glittering in the northern sky he knew that it was yet scarcely midnight; there were still long, restless hours before the day! In the feverish state into which he had gradually worked himself it seemed to him impossible to wait the coming of the dawn.
Not Uncle Jim. He noticed the wind slowly die down, and in the heavy silence that followed, he could hear his partner's deep breathing and the distant yelp of a coyote. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, only interrupted by the flicker of their dying fire, he took in every detail of their shabby cabin and the harsh environment they had endured for so long. The sad patches on the bark roof, the miserable makeshifts they used each day, the ongoing discomfort—all were clear to him now, without the optimistic hope that had made it bearable. When he closed his eyes, it was only to imagine traveling down the steep mountain trail he had walked so many times to their dismal claim by the flooded river, the piles of "tailings" that cluttered it, like the empty shells of their unproductive, profitless days spent waiting for a stroke of good luck to clear it away. He remembered the decaying "sluicing," through which even their meager daily earnings had dwindled further. Finally, he got up and, with utmost care, lowered himself from his bed without waking his sleeping partner. Wrapping himself in his blanket, he went to the door and opened it quietly. From the positions of a few stars twinkling in the northern sky, he knew it was barely midnight; there were still long, restless hours before dawn! In the anxious state he had gradually worked himself into, it felt impossible to wait for the morning to arrive.
But he was mistaken. For even as he stood there all nature seemed to invade his humble cabin with its free and fragrant breath, and invest him with its great companionship. He felt again, in that breath, that strange sense of freedom, that mystic touch of partnership with the birds and beasts, the shrubs and trees, in this greater home before him. It was this vague communion that had kept him there, that still held these world-sick, weary workers in their rude cabins on the slopes around him; and he felt upon his brow that balm that had nightly lulled him and them to sleep and forgetfulness. He closed the door, turned away, crept as noiselessly as before into his bunk again, and presently fell into a profound slumber.
But he was wrong. Because even as he stood there, it felt like all of nature was invading his little cabin with its fresh and fragrant air, wrapping him in its big companionship. He sensed again, in that air, a strange freedom, a mystical connection with the birds and animals, the bushes and trees, in this larger home before him. It was this vague bond that had kept him there, that still kept these exhausted, weary workers in their simple cabins on the hills around him; and he felt on his forehead that soothing presence that had nightly lulled him and them into sleep and forgetfulness. He closed the door, turned away, crept as quietly as before back into his bunk, and soon fell into a deep sleep.
But when Uncle Billy awoke the next morning he saw it was late; for the sun, piercing the crack of the closed door, was sending a pencil of light across the cold hearth, like a match to rekindle its dead embers. His first thought was of his strange luck the night before, and of disappointment that he had not had the dream of divination that he had looked for. He sprang to the floor, but as he stood upright his glance fell on Uncle Jim's bunk. It was empty. Not only that, but his blankets—Uncle Jim's own particular blankets—were gone!
But when Uncle Billy woke up the next morning, he realized it was late; the sun was shining through the crack of the closed door, casting a beam of light across the cold hearth, like a match trying to reignite its dead embers. His first thought was about his strange luck the night before and his disappointment that he hadn't had the prophetic dream he had hoped for. He jumped out of bed, but as he stood up, his gaze landed on Uncle Jim's bunk. It was empty. Not only that, but his blankets—Uncle Jim's special blankets—were gone!
A sudden revelation of his partner's manner the night before struck him now with the cruelty of a blow; a sudden intelligence, perhaps the very divination he had sought, flashed upon him like lightning! He glanced wildly around the cabin. The table was drawn out from the wall a little ostentatiously, as if to catch his eye. On it was lying the stained chamois-skin purse in which they had kept the few grains of gold remaining from their last week's "clean up." The grains had been carefully divided, and half had been taken! But near it lay the little memorandum-book, open, with the stick of pencil lying across it. A deep line was drawn across the page on which was recorded their imaginary extravagant gains and losses, even to the entry of Uncle Jim's half share of the claim which he had risked and lost! Underneath were hurriedly scrawled the words:—
A sudden realization about his partner's behavior the night before hit him now like a harsh blow; a sudden insight, maybe the very understanding he had been searching for, struck him like lightning! He glanced around the cabin in a panic. The table was pulled out from the wall a bit too obviously, as if trying to catch his attention. On it lay the stained chamois-skin purse where they had kept the few bits of gold left from their last week's "clean up." The bits had been carefully split, and half was missing! Next to it was the little notebook, open, with a pencil resting on it. A deep line was drawn across the page where they had written their imagined extravagant gains and losses, including the entry for Uncle Jim's half share of the claim that he had risked and lost! Beneath that were hastily scribbled words:—
"Settled by your luck, last night, old pard.—James Foster."
"Settled by your luck, last night, old buddy.—James Foster."
It was nearly a month before Cedar Camp was convinced that Uncle Billy and Uncle Jim had dissolved partnership. Pride had prevented Uncle Billy from revealing his suspicions of the truth, or of relating the events that preceded Uncle Jim's clandestine flight, and Dick Bullen had gone to Sacramento by stage-coach the same morning. He briefly gave out that his partner had been called to San Francisco on important business of their own, that indeed might necessitate his own removal there later. In this he was singularly assisted by a letter from the absent Jim, dated at San Francisco, begging him not to be anxious about his success, as he had hopes of presently entering a profitable business, but with no further allusions to his precipitate departure, nor any suggestion of a reason for it. For two or three days Uncle Billy was staggered and bewildered; in his profound simplicity he wondered if his extraordinary good fortune that night had made him deaf to some explanation of his partner's, or, more terrible, if he had shown some "low" and incredible intimation of taking his partner's extravagant bet as real and binding. In this distress he wrote to Uncle Jim an appealing and apologetic letter, albeit somewhat incoherent and inaccurate, and bristling with misspelling, camp slang, and old partnership jibes. But to this elaborate epistle he received only Uncle Jim's repeated assurances of his own bright prospects, and his hopes that his old partner would be more fortunate, single-handed, on the old claim. For a whole week or two Uncle Billy sulked, but his invincible optimism and good humor got the better of him, and he thought only of his old partner's good fortune. He wrote him regularly, but always to one address—a box at the San Francisco post-office, which to the simple-minded Uncle Billy suggested a certain official importance. To these letters Uncle Jim responded regularly but briefly.
It took almost a month for Cedar Camp to believe that Uncle Billy and Uncle Jim had ended their partnership. Uncle Billy's pride kept him from admitting his suspicions or explaining what had happened before Uncle Jim's secret departure, and that morning, Dick Bullen had already left for Sacramento by stagecoach. He briefly mentioned that his partner had been called to San Francisco for important business, which might even require him to move there later. He was helped by a letter from the absent Jim, dated in San Francisco, asking him not to worry about his success since he hoped to soon enter a profitable business, but it made no further mention of his sudden departure or why it happened. For a couple of days, Uncle Billy felt stunned and confused; in his simple-mindedness, he wondered if his extraordinary luck that night had made him miss some explanation from his partner or, worse, if he had inadvertently shown some "low" and unreasonable belief that his partner's extravagant bet was real and binding. In his distress, he wrote Uncle Jim an emotional and apologetic letter, even though it was a bit jumbled and inaccurate, filled with misspellings, camp slang, and old partnership jokes. However, all he got back were Uncle Jim's repeated assurances about his bright prospects and his hopes that his old partner would find good luck alone on their old claim. For a week or two, Uncle Billy sulked, but his unstoppable optimism and good humor eventually won out, and he focused only on his old partner's good fortune. He wrote to him regularly, always sending his letters to one address—a post office box in San Francisco, which to simple-minded Uncle Billy seemed to carry some official significance. Uncle Jim replied to these letters regularly but kept his responses brief.
From a certain intuitive pride in his partner and his affection, Uncle Billy did not show these letters openly to the camp, although he spoke freely of his former partner's promising future, and even read them short extracts. It is needless to say that the camp did not accept Uncle Billy's story with unsuspecting confidence. On the contrary, a hundred surmises, humorous or serious, but always extravagant, were afloat in Cedar Camp. The partners had quarreled over their clothes—Uncle Jim, who was taller than Uncle Billy, had refused to wear his partner's trousers. They had quarreled over cards—Uncle Jim had discovered that Uncle Billy was in possession of a "cold deck," or marked pack. They had quarreled over Uncle Billy's carelessness in grinding up half a box of "bilious pills" in the morning's coffee. A gloomily imaginative mule-driver had darkly suggested that, as no one had really seen Uncle Jim leave the camp, he was still there, and his bones would yet be found in one of the ditches; while a still more credulous miner averred that what he had thought was the cry of a screech-owl the night previous to Uncle Jim's disappearance, might have been the agonized utterance of that murdered man. It was highly characteristic of that camp—and, indeed, of others in California—that nobody, not even the ingenious theorists themselves, believed their story, and that no one took the slightest pains to verify or disprove it. Happily, Uncle Billy never knew it, and moved all unconsciously in this atmosphere of burlesque suspicion. And then a singular change took place in the attitude of the camp towards him and the disrupted partnership. Hitherto, for no reason whatever, all had agreed to put the blame upon Billy—possibly because he was present to receive it. As days passed that slight reticence and dejection in his manner, which they had at first attributed to remorse and a guilty conscience, now began to tell as absurdly in his favor. Here was poor Uncle Billy toiling through the ditches, while his selfish partner was lolling in the lap of luxury in San Francisco! Uncle Billy's glowing accounts of Uncle Jim's success only contributed to the sympathy now fully given in his behalf and their execration of the absconding partner. It was proposed at Bigg's store that a letter expressing the indignation of the camp over his heartless conduct to his late partner, William Fall, should be forwarded to him. Condolences were offered to Uncle Billy, and uncouth attempts were made to cheer his loneliness. A procession of half a dozen men twice a week to his cabin, carrying their own whiskey and winding up with a "stag dance" before the premises, was sufficient to lighten his eclipsed gayety and remind him of a happier past. "Surprise" working parties visited his claim with spasmodic essays towards helping him, and great good humor and hilarity prevailed. It was not an unusual thing for an honest miner to arise from an idle gathering in some cabin and excuse himself with the remark that he "reckoned he'd put in an hour's work in Uncle Billy's tailings!" And yet, as before, it was very improbable if any of these reckless benefactors really believed in their own earnestness or in the gravity of the situation. Indeed, a kind of hopeful cynicism ran through their performances. "Like as not, Uncle Billy is still in 'cahoots' (i.e., shares) with his old pard, and is just laughin' at us as he's sendin' him accounts of our tomfoolin'."
From a certain intuitive pride in his partner and his affection, Uncle Billy didn't openly show these letters to the camp, although he freely talked about his former partner's promising future and even read some short excerpts. It's not surprising that the camp didn't accept Uncle Billy's story with blind trust. On the contrary, a hundred theories, whether humorous or serious but always outrageous, were circulating in Cedar Camp. The partners had fought over their clothes—Uncle Jim, who was taller than Uncle Billy, had refused to wear his partner's pants. They had argued over cards—Uncle Jim had found out that Uncle Billy had a "cold deck," or marked cards. They had quarreled over Uncle Billy's carelessness in grinding up half a box of "bilious pills" in the morning coffee. A gloomy mule driver darkly suggested that since no one had actually seen Uncle Jim leave the camp, he might still be there, and his bones could eventually be found in one of the ditches; while an even more gullible miner claimed that what he thought was the cry of a screech-owl the night before Uncle Jim's disappearance might have been the tortured cry of that murdered man. It was typical of that camp—and indeed, of others in California—that no one, not even the creative theorists themselves, believed their own story, and nobody bothered to verify or disprove it. Thankfully, Uncle Billy never realized it and moved unknowingly in this atmosphere of mock suspicion. Then a strange shift happened in the camp's attitude towards him and the broken partnership. Until then, for no clear reason, everyone had decided to blame Billy—possibly because he was there to take it. As days went by, that slight reticence and sadness in his demeanor, which they initially attributed to remorse and guilt, now started to work absurdly in his favor. Here was poor Uncle Billy struggling through the ditches while his selfish partner was lounging in luxury in San Francisco! Uncle Billy's glowing reports of Uncle Jim's success only increased the sympathy now fully given to him and the camp's disdain for the missing partner. It was proposed at Bigg's store that a letter expressing the camp's outrage over Uncle Jim's heartless treatment of his former partner, William Fall, should be sent to him. Condolences were offered to Uncle Billy, and awkward attempts were made to cheer him up. A group of half a dozen men visited his cabin twice a week, bringing their own whiskey and ending with a "stag dance" in front of his place, which was enough to lift his spirits and remind him of happier times. "Surprise" work parties dropped by his claim with sporadic attempts to help him, and a great sense of humor and fun prevailed. It wasn't unusual for an honest miner to excuse himself from an idle gathering in a cabin by saying that he "figured he’d put in an hour's work on Uncle Billy's tailings!" And yet, as before, it was very unlikely that any of these reckless benefactors really believed in their own sincerity or the seriousness of the situation. Indeed, a kind of hopeful cynicism ran through their actions. "Like as not, Uncle Billy is still in 'cahoots' (i.e., shares) with his old partner, and is just laughing at us while he’s sending him accounts of our nonsense."
And so the winter passed and the rains, and the days of cloudless skies and chill starlit nights began. There were still freshets from the snow reservoirs piled high in the Sierran passes, and the Bar was flooded, but that passed too, and only the sunshine remained. Monotonous as the seasons were, there was a faint movement in the camp with the stirring of the sap in the pines and cedars. And then, one day, there was a strange excitement on the Bar. Men were seen running hither and thither, but mainly gathering in a crowd on Uncle Billy's claim, that still retained the old partners' names in "The Fall and Foster." To add to the excitement; there was the quickly repeated report of a revolver, to all appearance aimlessly exploded in the air by some one on the outskirts of the assemblage. As the crowd opened, Uncle Billy appeared, pale, hysterical, breathless, and staggering a little under the back-slapping and hand-shaking of the whole camp. For Uncle Billy had "struck it rich"—had just discovered a "pocket," roughly estimated to be worth fifteen thousand dollars!
And so winter passed, along with the rains, and the days of clear skies and chilly starlit nights began. There were still runoff streams from the snowpack high in the Sierra passes, and the river was flooded, but that too eventually subsided, leaving only the sunshine. Even though the seasons were predictable, there was a subtle buzz in the camp with the sap beginning to flow in the pines and cedars. Then, one day, there was an unusual excitement on the riverbank. Men were seen darting around, mostly gathering in a crowd at Uncle Billy's claim, which still had the old partners' names from "The Fall and Foster." To heighten the excitement, there was the rapid sound of a revolver being fired, seemingly at random, by someone on the edge of the crowd. As the crowd parted, Uncle Billy appeared, pale, frantic, breathless, and slightly unsteady from all the back-slapping and hand-shaking from the entire camp. Uncle Billy had "hit it big"—he had just discovered a "pocket" estimated to be worth fifteen thousand dollars!
Although in that supreme moment he missed the face of his old partner, he could not help seeing the unaffected delight and happiness shining in the eyes of all who surrounded him. It was characteristic of that sanguine but uncertain life that success and good fortune brought no jealousy nor envy to the unfortunate, but was rather a promise and prophecy of the fulfillment of their own hopes. The gold was there—Nature but yielded up her secret. There was no prescribed limit to her bounty. So strong was this conviction that a long-suffering but still hopeful miner, in the enthusiasm of the moment, stooped down and patted a large boulder with the apostrophic "Good old gal!"
Although he missed the face of his old partner in that moment, he couldn't help but notice the genuine joy and happiness in the eyes of everyone around him. It was typical of that optimistic yet uncertain life that success and good fortune sparked no jealousy or resentment among the less fortunate; instead, it served as a promise and a sign of the realization of their own dreams. The gold was there—Nature simply revealed her secret. There was no set limit to her generosity. This belief was so strong that a long-suffering but still hopeful miner, caught up in the excitement, bent down and patted a large boulder, saying, "Good old gal!"
Then followed a night of jubilee, a next morning of hurried consultation with a mining expert and speculator lured to the camp by the good tidings; and then the very next night—to the utter astonishment of Cedar Camp—Uncle Billy, with a draft for twenty thousand dollars in his pocket, started for San Francisco, and took leave of his claim and the camp forever!
Then came a night of celebration, followed by a rushed meeting the next morning with a mining expert and speculator who had been drawn to the camp by the good news; and then the very next night—much to everyone's shock at Cedar Camp—Uncle Billy, with a check for twenty thousand dollars in his pocket, headed to San Francisco and said goodbye to his claim and the camp for good!
When Uncle Billy landed at the wharves of San Francisco he was a little bewildered. The Golden Gate beyond was obliterated by the incoming sea-fog, which had also roofed in the whole city, and lights already glittered along the gray streets that climbed the grayer sand-hills. As a Western man, brought up by inland rivers, he was fascinated and thrilled by the tall-masted sea-going ships, and he felt a strange sense of the remoter mysterious ocean, which he had never seen. But he was impressed and startled by smartly dressed men and women, the passing of carriages, and a sudden conviction that he was strange and foreign to what he saw. It had been his cherished intention to call upon his old partner in his working clothes, and then clap down on the table before him a draft for ten thousand dollars as his share of their old claim. But in the face of these brilliant strangers a sudden and unexpected timidity came upon him. He had heard of a cheap popular hotel, much frequented by the returning gold-miner, who entered its hospitable doors—which held an easy access to shops—and emerged in a few hours a gorgeous butterfly of fashion, leaving his old chrysalis behind him. Thence he inquired his way; hence he afterwards issued in garments glaringly new and ill fitting. But he had not sacrificed his beard, and there was still something fine and original in his handsome weak face that overcame the cheap convention of his clothes. Making his way to the post-office, he was again discomfited by the great size of the building, and bewildered by the array of little square letter-boxes behind glass which occupied one whole wall, and an equal number of opaque and locked wooden ones legibly numbered. His heart leaped; he remembered the number, and before him was a window with a clerk behind it. Uncle Billy leaned forward.
When Uncle Billy arrived at the docks in San Francisco, he felt a bit overwhelmed. The Golden Gate was hidden by the rolling sea fog that blanketed the entire city, and lights were already shimmering along the gray streets that climbed the drab sand dunes. As a man from the West, raised near inland rivers, he was captivated and excited by the tall-masted ships, and he felt a strange connection to the distant, mysterious ocean that he had never seen. But he also felt out of place, startled by the elegantly dressed men and women, the passing carriages, and a sudden realization that everything he saw was foreign to him. He had planned to visit his old partner in his work clothes and then place a draft for ten thousand dollars—his share of their old claim—on the table. But facing these glamorous strangers, an unexpected shyness washed over him. He had heard about a budget hotel popular among returning gold miners, who would enter its welcoming doors—easily accessible to shops—and emerge a few hours later looking stylish, leaving their old selves behind. He asked for directions to it and later emerged in glaringly new, ill-fitting clothes. However, he hadn't shaved off his beard, and there was still something distinctive about his handsome but weary face that outshone the cheapness of his outfit. Making his way to the post office, he was again taken aback by the building's size, and confused by the row of small square letter boxes behind glass that filled one wall, alongside an equal number of opaque, locked wooden boxes that were clearly numbered. His heart raced; he remembered his number, and before him was a window with a clerk behind it. Uncle Billy leaned forward.
"Kin you tell me if the man that box 690 b'longs to is in?"
"Can you tell me if the man that box 690 belongs to is in?"
The clerk stared, made him repeat the question, and then turned away. But he returned almost instantly, with two or three grinning heads besides his own, apparently set behind his shoulders. Uncle Billy was again asked to repeat his question. He did so.
The clerk looked shocked, had him repeat the question, and then walked away. But he came back right away, with two or three smiling people behind him, like their heads were attached to his shoulders. Uncle Billy was asked to repeat his question again. He did.
"Why don't you go and see if 690 is in the box?" said the first clerk, turning with affected asperity to one of the others.
"Why don't you go check if 690 is in the box?" said the first clerk, turning with a false seriousness to one of the others.
The clerk went away, returned, and said with singular gravity, "He was there a moment ago, but he's gone out to stretch his legs. It's rather crampin' at first; and he can't stand it more than ten hours at a time, you know."
The clerk left, came back, and said with serious tone, "He was here a minute ago, but he stepped out to stretch his legs. It's a bit cramped at first; and he can't handle it for more than ten hours straight, you know."
But simplicity has its limits. Uncle Billy had already guessed his real error in believing his partner was officially connected with the building; his cheek had flushed and then paled again. The pupils of his blue eyes had contracted into suggestive black points. "Ef you'll let me in at that winder, young fellers," he said, with equal gravity, "I'll show yer how I kin make you small enough to go in a box without crampin'! But I only wanted to know where Jim Foster lived."
But simplicity has its limits. Uncle Billy had already figured out his real mistake in thinking his partner was officially involved with the building; his face had flushed and then turned pale again. The pupils of his blue eyes had shrunk into suggestive black dots. "If you let me in through that window, you guys," he said, just as seriously, "I'll show you how I can make you small enough to fit in a box without cramping! But I just wanted to know where Jim Foster lived."
At which the first clerk became perfunctory again, but civil. "A letter left in his box would get you that information," he said, "and here's paper and pencil to write it now."
At that point, the first clerk became indifferent again, but still polite. "A letter left in his box would get you that information," he said, "and here’s some paper and a pencil to write it now."
Uncle Billy took the paper and began to write, "Just got here. Come and see me at"— He paused. A brilliant idea had struck him; he could impress both his old partner and the upstarts at the window; he would put in the name of the latest "swell" hotel in San Francisco, said to be a fairy dream of opulence. He added "The Oriental," and without folding the paper shoved it in the window.
Uncle Billy grabbed the paper and started writing, "Just arrived. Come visit me at"— He paused. A bright idea hit him; he could show off to both his old partner and the newcomers at the window. He decided to include the name of the newest fancy hotel in San Francisco, rumored to be a luxurious dream. He wrote "The Oriental," and without folding the paper, he pushed it out the window.
"Don't you want an envelope?" asked the clerk.
"Don't you want an envelope?" the clerk asked.
"Put a stamp on the corner of it," responded Uncle Billy, laying down a coin, "and she'll go through." The clerk smiled, but affixed the stamp, and Uncle Billy turned away.
"Put a stamp on the corner of it," Uncle Billy said, putting down a coin, "and it'll go through." The clerk smiled but put on the stamp, and Uncle Billy walked away.
But it was a short-lived triumph. The disappointment at finding Uncle Jim's address conveyed no idea of his habitation seemed to remove him farther away, and lose his identity in the great city. Besides, he must now make good his own address, and seek rooms at the Oriental. He went thither. The furniture and decorations, even in these early days of hotel-building in San Francisco, were extravagant and overstrained, and Uncle Billy felt lost and lonely in his strange surroundings. But he took a handsome suite of rooms, paid for them in advance on the spot, and then, half frightened, walked out of them to ramble vaguely through the city in the feverish hope of meeting his old partner. At night his inquietude increased; he could not face the long row of tables in the pillared dining-room, filled with smartly dressed men and women; he evaded his bedroom, with its brocaded satin chairs and its gilt bedstead, and fled to his modest lodgings at the Good Cheer House, and appeased his hunger at its cheap restaurant, in the company of retired miners and freshly arrived Eastern emigrants. Two or three days passed thus in this quaint double existence. Three or four times a day he would enter the gorgeous Oriental with affected ease and carelessness, demand his key from the hotel-clerk, ask for the letter that did not come, go to his room, gaze vaguely from his window on the passing crowd below for the partner he could not find, and then return to the Good Cheer House for rest and sustenance. On the fourth day he received a short note from Uncle Jim; it was couched in his usual sanguine but brief and business-like style. He was very sorry, but important and profitable business took him out of town, but he trusted to return soon and welcome his old partner. He was also, for the first time, jocose, and hoped that Uncle Billy would not "see all the sights" before he, Uncle Jim, returned. Disappointing as this procrastination was to Uncle Billy, a gleam of hope irradiated it: the letter had bridged over that gulf which seemed to yawn between them at the post-office. His old partner had accepted his visit to San Francisco without question, and had alluded to a renewal of their old intimacy. For Uncle Billy, with all his trustful simplicity, had been tortured by two harrowing doubts: one, whether Uncle Jim in his new-fledged smartness as a "city" man—such as he saw in the streets—would care for his rough companionship; the other, whether he, Uncle Billy, ought not to tell him at once of his changed fortune. But, like all weak, unreasoning men, he clung desperately to a detail—he could not forego his old idea of astounding Uncle Jim by giving him his share of the "strike" as his first intimation of it, and he doubted, with more reason perhaps, if Jim would see him after he had heard of his good fortune. For Uncle Billy had still a frightened recollection of Uncle Jim's sudden stroke for independence, and that rigid punctiliousness which had made him doggedly accept the responsibility of his extravagant stake at euchre.
But it was a short-lived victory. The disappointment of not being able to find Uncle Jim’s address made him feel even more distant and lost his identity in the big city. Plus, he now had to establish his own address and look for a room at the Oriental. He went there. The furniture and decorations, even during these early days of hotel building in San Francisco, were extravagant and overdone, and Uncle Billy felt lost and alone in his unfamiliar surroundings. Still, he rented a nice suite of rooms, paid for them upfront, and then, half scared, stepped out to wander aimlessly through the city in the anxious hope of running into his old partner. At night, his restlessness grew; he couldn’t face the long line of tables in the grand dining room, filled with well-dressed men and women; he avoided his bedroom, with its fancy satin chairs and gilded bed, and retreated to his humble lodgings at the Good Cheer House, where he satisfied his hunger at its cheap restaurant, surrounded by retired miners and newly arrived Eastern immigrants. Two or three days passed like this in his odd dual existence. Three or four times a day, he would walk into the lavish Oriental, trying to appear casual and carefree, ask the hotel clerk for his key, inquire about the letter that never came, go to his room, gaze vaguely out the window at the crowd below for the partner he couldn’t find, and then return to the Good Cheer House for rest and food. On the fourth day, he received a short note from Uncle Jim, written in his usual optimistic but brief and business-like tone. He was very sorry, but important and profitable business had taken him out of town; he hoped to return soon and welcome his old partner. For the first time, he cracked a joke, hoping Uncle Billy wouldn’t “see all the sights” before he, Uncle Jim, got back. Disappointing as this delay was for Uncle Billy, there was a glimmer of hope in it: the letter closed the gap that had seemed to widen between them at the post office. His old partner had accepted his visit to San Francisco without question, hinting at a renewal of their old friendship. For Uncle Billy, with all his trusting simplicity, had been tortured by two painful doubts: one, whether Uncle Jim, now very much a “city” man—like those he saw in the streets—would want to spend time with him, and the other, whether he should immediately tell him about his changed fortune. But, like many weak, irrational individuals, he desperately clung to one detail—he couldn’t bring himself to tell Uncle Jim about his “strike” in any other way than by surprising him with his share as his first indication of it, and he worried, perhaps rightly, that Jim wouldn’t want to see him after learning about his good luck. Uncle Billy still had a frightful memory of Uncle Jim’s sudden desire for independence and that strict insistence that had made him stubbornly take responsibility for his extravagant stake in euchre.
With a view of educating himself for Uncle Jim's company, he "saw the sights" of San Francisco—as an over-grown and somewhat stupid child might have seen them—with great curiosity, but little contamination or corruption. But I think he was chiefly pleased with watching the arrival of the Sacramento and Stockton steamers at the wharves, in the hope of discovering his old partner among the passengers on the gang-plank. Here, with his old superstitious tendency and gambler's instinct, he would augur great success in his search that day if any one of the passengers bore the least resemblance to Uncle Jim, if a man or woman stepped off first, or if he met a single person's questioning eye. Indeed, this got to be the real occupation of the day, which he would on no account have omitted, and to a certain extent revived each day in his mind the morning's work of their old partnership. He would say to himself, "It's time to go and look up Jim," and put off what he was pleased to think were his pleasures until this act of duty was accomplished.
Wanting to prepare himself for Uncle Jim's company, he “saw the sights” of San Francisco—like an oversized and somewhat clueless child might—with great curiosity but little influence or corruption. However, I think he mostly enjoyed watching the Sacramento and Stockton steamers arrive at the docks, hoping to spot his old partner among the passengers on the gangplank. With his old superstitious tendencies and gambler's instincts, he would predict great success in his search that day if any of the passengers resembled Uncle Jim, if a man or woman stepped off the boat first, or if he caught a single person's questioning gaze. In fact, this became the main focus of his day, a routine he wouldn’t miss for anything, and to some extent, it kept alive the memories of their previous partnership. He would tell himself, “It’s time to go find Jim,” putting off what he thought were his pleasures until this act of duty was done.
In this singleness of purpose he made very few and no entangling acquaintances, nor did he impart to any one the secret of his fortune, loyally reserving it for his partner's first knowledge. To a man of his natural frankness and simplicity this was a great trial, and was, perhaps, a crucial test of his devotion. When he gave up his rooms at the Oriental—as not necessary after his partner's absence—he sent a letter, with his humble address, to the mysterious lock-box of his partner without fear or false shame. He would explain it all when they met. But he sometimes treated unlucky and returning miners to a dinner and a visit to the gallery of some theatre. Yet while he had an active sympathy with and understanding of the humblest, Uncle Billy, who for many years had done his own and his partner's washing, scrubbing, mending, and cooking, and saw no degradation in it, was somewhat inconsistently irritated by menial functions in men, and although he gave extravagantly to waiters, and threw a dollar to the crossing-sweeper, there was always a certain shy avoidance of them in his manner. Coming from the theatre one night Uncle Billy was, however, seriously concerned by one of these crossing-sweepers turning hastily before them and being knocked down by a passing carriage. The man rose and limped hurriedly away; but Uncle Billy was amazed and still more irritated to hear from his companion that this kind of menial occupation was often profitable, and that at some of the principal crossings the sweepers were already rich men.
In his single-minded focus, he formed very few connections and never shared the secret of his wealth, keeping it reserved for his partner to discover first. For someone with his natural openness and straightforwardness, this was a significant challenge and possibly a true test of his loyalty. When he vacated his rooms at the Oriental—no longer needed after his partner left—he sent a letter, with his simple address, to his partner's mysterious lock-box without fear or false shame. He would explain everything when they met. Occasionally, he treated unfortunate miners who were back in town to dinner and a night out at the theater. Although he deeply empathized with and understood even the humblest among them, Uncle Billy, who for years had done his own and his partner's laundry, cleaning, mending, and cooking without seeing any shame in it, was somewhat inconsistently bothered by similar tasks performed by men. He generously tipped waiters and tossed a dollar to the street sweeper, but he always had a certain awkwardness around them. One night, after leaving the theater, Uncle Billy was genuinely concerned when a crossing-sweeper suddenly stepped in front of them and got hit by a passing carriage. The man got up and hurriedly limped away, but Uncle Billy was both astonished and more irritated to learn from his companion that this type of menial job could be lucrative and that some of the street sweepers at major crossings were already wealthy.
But a few days later brought a more notable event to Uncle Billy. One afternoon in Montgomery Street he recognized in one of its smartly dressed frequenters a man who had a few years before been a member of Cedar Camp. Uncle Billy's childish delight at this meeting, which seemed to bridge over his old partner's absence, was, however, only half responded to by the ex-miner, and then somewhat satirically. In the fulness of his emotion, Uncle Billy confided to him that he was seeking his old partner, Jim Foster, and, reticent of his own good fortune, spoke glowingly of his partner's brilliant expectations, but deplored his inability to find him. And just now he was away on important business. "I reckon he's got back," said the man dryly. "I didn't know he had a lock-box at the post-office, but I can give you his other address. He lives at the Presidio, at Washerwoman's Bay." He stopped and looked with a satirical smile at Uncle Billy. But the latter, familiar with Californian mining-camp nomenclature, saw nothing strange in it, and merely repeated his companion's words.
But a few days later, something more significant happened for Uncle Billy. One afternoon on Montgomery Street, he spotted a former member of Cedar Camp among the well-dressed crowd. Uncle Billy's excitement at seeing him, which felt like it filled the gap left by his old partner's absence, was only somewhat reciprocated by the ex-miner, and then in a rather sarcastic way. Overwhelmed with emotion, Uncle Billy shared that he was looking for his old partner, Jim Foster. He downplayed his own good fortune and excitedly talked about his partner's bright prospects, lamenting his inability to find him. He mentioned that Jim was currently away on important business. "I assume he’s back," the man replied dryly. "I didn't know he had a lock-box at the post office, but I can give you his other address. He lives at the Presidio, at Washerwoman's Bay.” He paused and looked at Uncle Billy with a sarcastic smile. However, Uncle Billy, familiar with California mining camp names, didn't think anything was odd about it and simply repeated his companion's words.
"You'll find him there! Good-by! So long! Sorry I'm in a hurry," said the ex-miner, and hurried away.
"You'll find him there! Bye! Take care! Sorry, I'm in a rush," said the ex-miner, and rushed off.
Uncle Billy was too delighted with the prospect of a speedy meeting with Uncle Jim to resent his former associate's supercilious haste, or even to wonder why Uncle Jim had not informed him that he had returned. It was not the first time that he had felt how wide was the gulf between himself and these others, and the thought drew him closer to his old partner, as well as his old idea, as it was now possible to surprise him with the draft. But as he was going to surprise him in his own boarding-house—probably a handsome one—Uncle Billy reflected that he would do so in a certain style.
Uncle Billy was too excited about the idea of a quick meeting with Uncle Jim to be bothered by his former associate's arrogant rush, or even to question why Uncle Jim hadn’t let him know he was back. This wasn’t the first time he’d felt how big the divide was between himself and the others, and the thought actually brought him closer to his old partner, as well as his previous ideas, since it was now possible to surprise him with the draft. But since he was planning to surprise him at his own boarding house—probably a nice one—Uncle Billy thought he would do it with a bit of style.
He accordingly went to a livery stable and ordered a landau and pair, with a negro coachman. Seated in it, in his best and most ill-fitting clothes, he asked the coachman to take him to the Presidio, and leaned back in the cushions as they drove through the streets with such an expression of beaming gratification on his good-humored face that the passers-by smiled at the equipage and its extravagant occupant. To them it seemed the not unusual sight of the successful miner "on a spree." To the unsophisticated Uncle Billy their smiling seemed only a natural and kindly recognition of his happiness, and he nodded and smiled back to them with unsuspecting candor and innocent playfulness. "These yer 'Frisco fellers ain't all slouches, you bet," he added to himself half aloud, at the back of the grinning coachman.
He went to a livery stable and ordered a landau and two horses, along with a Black coachman. Sitting in it, dressed in his best but most ill-fitting clothes, he asked the coachman to take him to the Presidio. He leaned back in the cushions as they drove through the streets, wearing a big smile on his cheerful face, which made passersby grin at the fancy carriage and its over-the-top rider. To them, it looked like the typical scene of a successful miner "having a good time." To the naïve Uncle Billy, their smiles seemed like a simple and warm acknowledgment of his joy, and he nodded and smiled back at them with innocent friendliness. "These San Francisco folks aren't all slouches, you bet," he muttered to himself, half to the grinning coachman.
Their way led through well-built streets to the outskirts, or rather to that portion of the city which seemed to have been overwhelmed by shifting sand-dunes, from which half-submerged fences and even low houses barely marked the foe of highway. The resistless trade-winds which had marked this change blew keenly in his face and slightly chilled his ardor. At a turn in the road the sea came im sight, and sloping towards it the great Cemetery of Lone Mountain, with white shafts and marbles that glittered in the sunlight like the sails of ships waiting to be launched down that slope into the Eternal Ocean. Uncle Billy shuddered. What if it had been his fate to seek Uncle Jim there!
Their path led through well-maintained streets to the edge of the city, or rather to that part which appeared to have been taken over by shifting sand dunes, where half-buried fences and even low houses barely defined the roadway. The strong trade winds that had caused this change blew briskly in his face, slightly cooling his enthusiasm. At a bend in the road, the sea came into view, and sloping down toward it was the great Cemetery of Lone Mountain, with white monuments and marble that sparkled in the sunlight like the sails of ships waiting to be launched down that slope into the Eternal Ocean. Uncle Billy shuddered. What if it had been his fate to be searching for Uncle Jim there!
"Dar's yar Presidio!" said the negro coachman a few moments later, pointing with his whip, "and dar's yar Wash'woman's Bay!"
"There's your Presidio!" said the Black coachman a few moments later, pointing with his whip, "and there's your Washwoman's Bay!"
Uncle Billy stared. A huge quadrangular fort of stone with a flag flying above its battlements stood at a little distance, pressed against the rocks, as if beating back the encroaching surges; between him and the fort but farther inland was a lagoon with a number of dilapidated, rudely patched cabins or cottages, like stranded driftwood around its shore. But there was no mansion, no block of houses, no street, not another habitation or dwelling to be seen!
Uncle Billy stared. A massive square stone fort with a flag waving above its walls stood a short distance away, pressed against the rocks as if pushing back the waves. Between him and the fort, but further inland, was a lagoon surrounded by a few rundown, crudely patched cabins or cottages, like washed-up driftwood along its shore. But there was no mansion, no cluster of houses, no street, and no other home or dwelling in sight!
Uncle Billy's first shock of astonishment was succeeded by a feeling of relief. He had secretly dreaded a meeting with his old partner in the "haunts of fashion"; whatever was the cause that made Uncle Jim seek this obscure retirement affected him but slightly; he even was thrilled with a vague memory of the old shiftless camp they had both abandoned. A certain instinct—-he knew not why, or less still that it might be one of delicacy—made him alight before they reached the first house. Bidding the carriage wait; Uncle Billy entered, and was informed by a blowzy Irish laundress at a tub that Jim Foster, or "Arkansaw Jim," lived at the fourth shanty "beyant." He was at home, for "he'd shprained his fut." Uncle Billy hurried on, stopped before the door of a shanty scarcely less rude than their old cabin, and half timidly pushed it open. A growling voice from within, a figure that rose hurriedly, leaning on a stick, with an attempt to fly, but in the same moment sank back in a chair with an hysterical laugh—and Uncle Billy stood in the presence of his old partner! But as Uncle Billy darted forward, Uncle Jim rose again, and this time with outstretched hands. Uncle Billy caught them, and in one supreme pressure seemed to pour out and transfuse his whole simple soul into his partner's. There they swayed each other backwards and forwards and sideways by their still clasped hands, until Uncle Billy, with a glance at Uncle Jim's bandaged ankle, shoved him by sheer force down into his chair.
Uncle Billy's first shock of surprise was quickly followed by a sense of relief. He had secretly feared running into his old partner in the "fashionable spots"; whatever prompted Uncle Jim to seek this quiet retreat affected him very little; he even felt a rush of nostalgia for the old, run-down camp they had both left behind. Some instinct—he didn’t know why, and even less that it might be out of concern—made him get out of the carriage before they reached the first house. After telling the driver to wait, Uncle Billy went inside and was told by a disheveled Irish laundress at a tub that Jim Foster, or "Arkansaw Jim," lived at the fourth shack "down there." He was home because "he'd sprained his foot." Uncle Billy hurried on, stopped in front of a shack that was hardly better than their old cabin, and somewhat nervously pushed the door open. A gruff voice came from inside, and a figure stood up quickly, leaning on a stick, trying to get away, but then sank back into a chair with a laugh that was almost hysterical—and there was Uncle Billy, face to face with his old partner! But as Uncle Billy rushed forward, Uncle Jim got up again, this time with his arms wide open. Uncle Billy grabbed them, and in that moment, it felt like he poured his entire simple soul into his partner's. They swayed back and forth and side to side, still holding hands, until Uncle Billy, noticing Uncle Jim's bandaged ankle, pushed him down into his chair with gentle force.
Uncle Jim was first to speak. "Caught, b'gosh! I mighter known you'd be as big a fool as me! Look you, Billy Fall, do you know what you've done? You've druv me out er the streets whar I was makin' an honest livin', by day, on three crossin's! Yes," he laughed forgivingly, "you druv me out er it, by day, jest because I reckoned that some time I might run into your darned fool face,"—another laugh and a grasp of the hand,—"and then, b'gosh! not content with ruinin' my business by day, when I took to it at night; you took to goin' out at nights too, and so put a stopper on me there! Shall I tell you what else you did? Well, by the holy poker! I owe this sprained foot to your darned foolishness and my own, for it was getting away from you one night after the theatre that I got run into and run over!
Uncle Jim was the first to speak. "Caught, for goodness' sake! I should have known you'd be as big a fool as I am! Listen, Billy Fall, do you know what you've done? You've driven me out of the streets where I was making an honest living, during the day, at three crossings! Yes," he laughed good-naturedly, "you drove me out of it, during the day, just because I figured that someday I might bump into your stupid face,"—another laugh and a handshake,—"and then, for goodness' sake! not satisfied with ruining my business during the day, when I tried to do it at night; you started going out at night too, and blocked me there! Should I tell you what else you did? Well, by the holy poker! I owe this sprained foot to your ridiculous antics and my own, because it was trying to get away from you one night after the theater that I got hit and run over!
"Ye see," he went on, unconscious of Uncle Billy's paling face, and with a naïvete, though perhaps not a delicacy, equal to Uncle Billy's own, "I had to play roots on you with that lock-box business and these letters, because I did not want you to know what I was up to, for you mightn't like it, and might think it was lowerin' to the old firm, don't yer see? I wouldn't hev gone into it, but I was played out, and I don't mind tellin' you now, old man, that when I wrote you that first chipper letter from the lock-box I hedn't eat anythin' for two days. But it's all right now," with a laugh. "Then I got into this business—thinkin' it nothin'—jest the very last thing—and do you know, old pard, I couldn't tell anybody but you—and, in fact, I kept it jest to tell you—I've made nine hundred and fifty-six dollars! Yes, sir, nine hundred and fifty-six dollars! solid money, in Adams and Co.'s Bank, just out er my trade."
"You see," he continued, unaware of Uncle Billy's pale face, and with a simplicity, though perhaps not a subtlety, just like Uncle Billy's own, "I had to pull that lock-box and letter trick on you because I didn’t want you to know what I was doing. You might not like it and could think it was damaging to the old firm, you know? I wouldn’t have gotten into this if I wasn’t desperate, and I’ll admit to you now, old man, that when I wrote you that first cheerful letter from the lock-box, I hadn’t eaten anything for two days. But it’s all good now," he said with a laugh. "Then I got into this business—thinking it was nothing—just the very last thing—and you know, old buddy, I couldn’t tell anyone but you—and honestly, I kept it just to tell you—I’ve made nine hundred and fifty-six dollars! Yes, sir, nine hundred and fifty-six dollars! Solid cash, in Adams and Co.’s Bank, just from my trade."
"Wot trade?" asked Uncle Billy.
"What trade?" asked Uncle Billy.
Uncle Jim pointed to the corner, where stood a large, heavy crossing-sweeper's broom. "That trade."
Uncle Jim pointed to the corner, where there was a large, heavy street sweeper's broom. "That job."
"Certingly," said Uncle Billy, with a quick laugh.
"Sure thing," said Uncle Billy, with a quick laugh.
"It's an outdoor trade," said Uncle Jim gravely, but with no suggestion of awkwardness or apology in his manner; "and thar ain't much difference between sweepin' a crossin' with a broom and raking over tailing with a rake, only—wot ye get with a broom you have handed to ye, and ye don't have to pick it up and fish it out er the wet rocks and sluice-gushin'; and it's a heap less tiring to the back."
"It's an outdoor job," Uncle Jim said seriously, but without any hint of discomfort or apology in his tone. "And there isn't much difference between sweeping a street with a broom and raking through tailings with a rake, only—what you get with a broom is handed to you, and you don't have to pick it up and fish it out of the wet rocks and rushing sluice; and it's a lot less tiring on the back."
"Certingly, you bet!" said Uncle Billy enthusiastically, yet with a certain nervous abstraction.
"Sure thing, you bet!" said Uncle Billy excitedly, though he seemed a bit lost in thought.
"I'm glad ye say so; for yer see I didn't know at first how you'd tumble to my doing it, until I'd made my pile. And ef I hadn't made it, I wouldn't hev set eyes on ye agin, old pard—never!"
"I'm glad you say that; you see, I didn't know at first how you'd react to what I did, until I had made my fortune. And if I hadn't made it, I wouldn't have laid eyes on you again, old friend—never!"
"Do you mind my runnin' out a minit?" said Uncle Billy, rising. "You see, I've got a friend waitin' for me outside—and I reckon"—he stammered—"I'll jest run out and send him off, so I kin talk comf'ble to ye."
"Do you mind if I step outside for a minute?" said Uncle Billy, getting up. "You see, I've got a friend waiting for me outside—and I guess"—he hesitated—"I'll just run out and send him off, so I can talk comfortably to you."
"Ye ain't got anybody you're owin' money to," said Uncle Jim earnestly, "anybody follerin' you to get paid, eh? For I kin jest set down right here and write ye off a check on the bank!"
"You don't owe anyone money," Uncle Jim said seriously, "no one is chasing you for payment, right? Because I can just sit down right here and write you a check from the bank!"
"No," said Uncle Billy. He slipped out of the door, and ran like a deer to the waiting carriage. Thrusting a twenty-dollar gold-piece into the coachman's hand, he said hoarsely, "I ain't wantin' that kerridge just now; ye ken drive around and hev a private jamboree all by yourself the rest of the afternoon, and then come and wait for me at the top o' the hill yonder."
"No," said Uncle Billy. He slipped out the door and ran like a deer to the waiting carriage. Shoving a twenty-dollar gold coin into the coachman's hand, he said hoarsely, "I don't need that carriage right now; you can drive around and have a private party by yourself for the rest of the afternoon, and then come back and wait for me at the top of the hill over there."
Thus quit of his gorgeous equipage, he hurried back to Uncle Jim, grasping his ten thousand dollar draft in his pocket. He was nervous, he was frightened, but he must get rid of the draft and his story, and have it over. But before he could speak he was unexpectedly stopped by Uncle Jim.
Thus free from his fancy carriage, he rushed back to Uncle Jim, holding his ten-thousand-dollar check in his pocket. He felt anxious and scared, but he needed to get rid of the check and tell his story to just get it done. But before he could say anything, Uncle Jim unexpectedly interrupted him.
"Now, look yer, Billy boy!" said Uncle Jim; "I got suthin' to say to ye—and I might as well clear it off my mind at once, and then we can start fair agin. Now," he went on, with a half laugh, "wasn't it enough for me to go on pretendin' I was rich and doing a big business, and gettin' up that lock-box dodge so as ye couldn't find out whar I hung out and what I was doin'—wasn't it enough for me to go on with all this play-actin', but you, you long-legged or'nary cuss! must get up and go to lyin' and play-acting too!"
"Now, listen here, Billy boy!" said Uncle Jim; "I have something to tell you—and I might as well get it off my chest right now, and then we can start fresh again. Now," he continued, with a half-laugh, "wasn’t it enough for me to pretend I was wealthy, running a big operation, and coming up with that lock-box scheme so you wouldn’t find out where I was hanging out and what I was up to—wasn’t it enough for me to keep up this act, but you, you lanky ordinary guy! had to get up and start lying and pretending too!"
"Me play-actin'? Me lyin'?" gasped Uncle Billy.
"Me acting? Me lying?" gasped Uncle Billy.
Uncle Jim leaned back in his chair and laughed. "Do you think you could fool me? Do you think I didn't see through your little game o' going to that swell Oriental, jest as if ye'd made a big strike—and all the while ye wasn't sleepin' 'or eatin' there, but jest wrastlin' yer hash and having a roll down at the Good Cheer! Do you think I didn't spy on ye and find that out? Oh, you long-eared jackass-rabbit!"
Uncle Jim leaned back in his chair and laughed. "Do you think you could trick me? Do you really think I didn't see through your little act of going to that fancy place, pretending like you hit it big—and all the while you weren’t sleeping or eating there, but just figuring things out and having a roll down at the Good Cheer! Do you think I didn’t watch you and figure that out? Oh, you long-eared jackass-rabbit!"
He laughed until the tears came into his eyes, and Uncle Billy laughed too, albeit until the laugh on his face became quite fixed, and he was fain to bury his head in his handkerchief.
He laughed until tears filled his eyes, and Uncle Billy laughed too, although eventually, the smile on his face became so stiff that he had to bury his head in his handkerchief.
"And yet," said Uncle Jim, with a deep breath, "gosh! I was frightened—jest for a minit! I thought, mebbe, you had made a big strike—when I got your first letter—and I made up my mind what I'd do! And then I remembered you was jest that kind of an open sluice that couldn't keep anythin' to yourself, and you'd have been sure to have yelled it out to me the first thing. So I waited. And I found you out, you old sinner!" He reached forward and dug Uncle Billy in the ribs.
"And yet," Uncle Jim said, taking a deep breath, "wow! I was scared—just for a minute! I thought maybe you had struck it big—when I got your first letter—and I figured out what I would do! Then I remembered you’re just that kind of person who can't keep anything to yourself, and you would have definitely shouted it out to me right away. So I waited. And I found you out, you old rascal!" He leaned forward and poked Uncle Billy in the ribs.
"What would you hev done?" said Uncle Billy, after an hysterical collapse.
"What would you have done?" said Uncle Billy, after an emotional breakdown.
Uncle Jim's face grew grave again. "I'd hev—I'd—hev cl'ared out! Out er 'Frisco! out er Californy! out er Ameriky! I couldn't have stud it! Don't think I would hev begrudged ye yer luck! No man would have been gladder than me." He leaned forward again, and laid his hand caressingly upon his partner's arm—"Don't think I'd hev wanted to take a penny of it—but I—thar! I couldn't hev stood up under it! To hev had you, you, you that I left behind, comin' down here rollin' in wealth and new partners and friends, and arrive upon me—and this shonty—and"—he threw towards the corner of the room a terrible gesture, none the less terrible that it was illogical and inconsequent, to all that had gone before—"and—and—that broom!"
Uncle Jim's expression turned serious again. "I would’ve— I would’ve left! Out of San Francisco! Out of California! Out of America! I couldn’t have handled it! Don't think I would’ve begrudged you your luck! No one would have been happier than me." He leaned forward again, placing his hand gently on his partner's arm— "Don't think I would’ve wanted to take a single penny of it—but I—there! I couldn’t have dealt with it! To have had you, you, you who I left behind, coming down here rolling in wealth and new partners and friends, and show up at my place—and this shack—and"—he threw a dramatic gesture toward the corner of the room, which was no less shocking for being illogical and disconnected from everything that had happened before—"and—and—that broom!"
There was a dead silence in the room. With it Uncle Billy seemed to feel himself again transported to the homely cabin at Cedar Camp and that fateful night, with his partner's strange, determined face before him as then. He even fancied that he heard the roaring of the pines without, and did not know that it was the distant sea.
There was complete silence in the room. In that moment, Uncle Billy felt as if he was back in the cozy cabin at Cedar Camp, reliving that fateful night with his partner's strange, determined face in front of him. He even imagined he heard the sound of the pines outside, not realizing it was actually the distant ocean.
But after a minute Uncle Jim resumed:—
But after a minute, Uncle Jim continued:—
"Of course you've made a little raise somehow, or you wouldn't be here?"
"Of course you've managed to level up a bit, or you wouldn't be here?"
"Yes," said Uncle Billy eagerly. "Yes! I've got"— He stopped and stammered. "I've got—a—few hundreds."
"Yeah," Uncle Billy said excitedly. "Yeah! I've got"— He paused and stumbled over his words. "I've got a few hundred."
"Oh, oh!" said Uncle Jim cheerfully. He paused, and then added earnestly, "I say! You ain't got left, over and above your d—d foolishness at the Oriental, as much as five hundred dollars?"
"Oh, oh!" Uncle Jim said cheerfully. He paused, then added earnestly, "I mean, do you really not have even five hundred dollars left after all that nonsense at the Oriental?"
"I've got," said Uncle Billy, blushing a little over his first deliberate and affected lie, "I've got at least five hundred and seventy-two dollars. Yes," he added tentatively, gazing anxiously at his partner, "I've got at least that."
"I've got," said Uncle Billy, blushing a bit from his first intentional and exaggerated lie, "I've got at least five hundred and seventy-two dollars. Yes," he added hesitantly, looking nervously at his partner, "I've got at least that."
"Jee whillikins!" said Uncle Jim, with a laugh. Then eagerly, "Look here, pard! Then we're on velvet! I've got nine hundred; put your five with that, and I know a little ranch that we can get for twelve hundred. That's what I've been savin' up for—that's my little game! No more minin' for me. It's got a shanty twice as big as our old cabin, nigh on a hundred acres, and two mustangs. We can run it with two Chinamen and jest make it howl! Wot yer say—eh?" He extended his hand.
"Wow!" Uncle Jim exclaimed with a laugh. Then, eagerly, he said, "Look here, buddy! We’re in luck! I’ve got nine hundred; add your five to that, and I know a little ranch we can get for twelve hundred. That’s what I’ve been saving for—that’s my plan! No more mining for me. It has a cabin twice the size of our old one, nearly a hundred acres, and two mustangs. We can run it with two Chinese workers and just make it thrive! What do you say—eh?" He extended his hand.
"I'm in," said Uncle Billy, radiantly grasping Uncle Jim's. But his smile faded, and his clear simple brow wrinkled in two lines.
"I'm in," said Uncle Billy, brightly shaking Uncle Jim's hand. But his smile faded, and his smooth forehead creased with worry.
Happily Uncle Jim did not notice it. "Now, then, old pard," he said brightly, "we'll have a gay old time to-night—one of our jamborees! I've got some whisky here and a deck o' cards, and we'll have a little game, you understand, but not for 'keeps' now! No, siree; we'll play for beans."
Happily, Uncle Jim didn’t notice it. “So, old friend,” he said cheerfully, “we’re going to have a great time tonight—one of our gatherings! I’ve got some whiskey and a deck of cards, and we’ll have a little game, you know, but not for keeps now! No way; we’ll play for beans.”
A sudden light illuminated Uncle Billy's face again, but he said, with a grim desperation, "Not to-night! I've got to go into town. That fren' o' mine expects me to go to the theayter, don't ye see? But I'll be out to-morrow at sun-up, and we'll fix up this thing o' the ranch."
A sudden light lit up Uncle Billy's face again, but he said, with a grim desperation, "Not tonight! I need to go into town. That friend of mine is counting on me to go to the theater, don’t you see? But I’ll be out tomorrow at sunrise, and we’ll sort out this ranch situation."
"Seems to me you're kinder stuck on this fren'," grunted Uncle Jim.
"Looks like you're pretty stuck on this friend," grunted Uncle Jim.
Uncle Billy's heart bounded at his partner's jealousy. "No—but I must, you know," he returned, with a faint laugh.
Uncle Billy's heart raced at his partner's jealousy. "No—but I have to, you know," he replied with a slight laugh.
"I say—it ain't a her, is it?" said Uncle Jim.
"I mean—it's not a her, right?" said Uncle Jim.
Uncle Billy achieved a diabolical wink and a creditable blush at his lie.
Uncle Billy managed a mischievous wink and a surprisingly believable blush at his lie.
"Billy!"
"Billy!"
"Jim!"
"Jim!"
And under cover of this festive gallantry Uncle Billy escaped. He ran through the gathering darkness, and toiled up the shifting sands to the top of the hill, where he found the carriage waiting.
And in the midst of this festive bravado, Uncle Billy slipped away. He dashed through the growing darkness and struggled up the shifting sands to the top of the hill, where he found the carriage waiting.
"Wot," said Uncle Billy in a low confidential tone to the coachman, "wot do you 'Frisco fellers allow to be the best, biggest, and riskiest gamblin'-saloon here? Suthin' high-toned, you know?"
"Wot," said Uncle Billy in a low, confidential tone to the coachman, "what do you San Francisco guys think is the best, biggest, and riskiest gambling saloon here? Something classy, you know?"
The negro grinned. It was the usual case of the extravagant spendthrift miner, though perhaps he had expected a different question and order.
The Black man grinned. It was the typical situation of the flashy, careless miner, although he might have been expecting a different question and request.
"Dey is de 'Polka,' de 'El Dorado,' and de 'Arcade' saloon, boss," he said, flicking his whip meditatively. "Most gents from de mines prefer de 'Polka,' for dey is dancing wid de gals frown in. But de real prima facie place for gents who go for buckin' agin de tiger and straight-out gamblin' is de Arcade.'"
"'There's the 'Polka,' the 'El Dorado,' and the 'Arcade' saloon, boss," he said, flicking his whip thoughtfully. "Most guys from the mines prefer the 'Polka' because they dance with the girls there. But the real go-to spot for guys who want to bet against the odds and gamble is the Arcade.'"
"Drive there like thunder!" said Uncle Billy, leaping into the carriage.
"Drive there like crazy!" said Uncle Billy, jumping into the carriage.
True to his word, Uncle Billy was at his partner's shanty early the next morning. He looked a little tired, but happy, and had brought a draft with him for five hundred and seventy-five dollars, which he explained was the total of his capital. Uncle Jim was overjoyed. They would start for Napa that very day, and conclude the purchase of the ranch; Uncle Jim's sprained foot was a sufficient reason for his giving up his present vocation, which he could also sell at a small profit. His domestic arrangements were very simple; there was nothing to take with him—there was everything to leave behind. And that afternoon, at sunset, the two reunited partners were seated on the deck of the Napa boat as she swung into the stream.
True to his word, Uncle Billy showed up at his partner's cabin early the next morning. He looked a bit tired, but happy, and had brought a check for five hundred and seventy-five dollars, which he said was all his capital. Uncle Jim was thrilled. They would head to Napa that very day to finalize the purchase of the ranch; Uncle Jim's sprained foot was a good reason for him to leave his current job, which he could also sell for a small profit. His personal arrangements were very straightforward; there was nothing to take with him—everything was to be left behind. That afternoon, at sunset, the two reunited partners were sitting on the deck of the Napa boat as it moved down the river.
Uncle Billy was gazing over the railing with a look of abstracted relief towards the Golden Gate, where the sinking sun seemed to be drawing towards him in the ocean a golden stream that was forever pouring from the Bay and the three-hilled city beside it. What Uncle Billy was thinking of, or what the picture suggested to him, did not transpire; for Uncle Jim, who, emboldened by his holiday, was luxuriating in an evening paper, suddenly uttered a long-drawn whistle, and moved closer to his abstracted partner. "Look yer," he said, pointing to a paragraph he had evidently just read, "just you listen to this, and see if we ain't lucky, you and me, to be jest wot we air—trustin' to our own hard work—and not thinkin' o' 'strikes' and 'fortins.' Jest unbutton yer ears, Billy, while I reel off this yer thing I've jest struck in the paper, and see what d—d fools some men kin make o' themselves. And that theer reporter wot wrote it—must hev seed it reely!"
Uncle Billy was staring over the railing with a look of deep relief toward the Golden Gate, where the setting sun seemed to be pulling a golden stream from the ocean that was constantly flowing from the Bay and the three-hilled city next to it. What Uncle Billy was thinking about, or what the scene meant to him, didn't come out; because Uncle Jim, feeling bold on his day off, was enjoying an evening paper, suddenly let out a long whistle and moved closer to his distracted partner. "Hey," he said, pointing to a paragraph he had obviously just read, "you need to hear this and realize how lucky we are to just be who we are—relying on our own hard work—and not worrying about 'strikes' and 'fortunes.' Just open your ears, Billy, while I read this thing I've just found in the paper, and see what dumb mistakes some men can make. And that reporter who wrote it—he must have really seen it!"
Uncle Jim cleared his throat, and holding the paper close to his eyes read aloud slowly:—
Uncle Jim cleared his throat and held the paper close to his eyes, reading aloud slowly:—
"'A scene of excitement that recalled the palmy days of '49 was witnessed last night at the Arcade Saloon. A stranger, who might have belonged to that reckless epoch, and who bore every evidence of being a successful Pike County miner out on a "spree," appeared at one of the tables with a negro coachman bearing two heavy bags of gold. Selecting a faro-bank as his base of operations, he began to bet heavily and with apparent recklessness, until his play excited the breathless attention of every one. In a few moments he had won a sum variously estimated at from eighty to a hundred thousand dollars. A rumor went round the room that it was a concerted attempt to "break the bank" rather than the drunken freak of a Western miner, dazzled by some successful strike. To this theory the man's careless and indifferent bearing towards his extraordinary gains lent great credence. The attempt, if such it was, however, was unsuccessful. After winning ten times in succession the luck turned, and the unfortunate "bucket" was cleared out not only of his gains, but of his original investment, which may be placed roughly at twenty thousand dollars. This extraordinary play was witnessed by a crowd of excited players, who were less impressed by even the magnitude of the stakes than the perfect sang froid and recklessness of the player, who, it is said, at the close of the game tossed a twenty-dollar gold-piece to the banker and smilingly withdrew. The man was not recognized by any of the habitués of the place.'
"'A scene of excitement that brought back the glory days of '49 was seen last night at the Arcade Saloon. A stranger, who seemed like he could belong to that wild time, and who showed all the signs of being a successful Pike County miner out for a "spree," arrived at one of the tables with a black coachman carrying two heavy bags of gold. Choosing a faro-bank as his base for action, he started betting big and recklessly, drawing the breathless attention of everyone around. In just a few moments, he had won an amount estimated to be between eighty and a hundred thousand dollars. A rumor spread through the room that this was a planned effort to "break the bank" rather than just a drunken whim of a Western miner dazzled by a big strike. This theory was strongly supported by the man’s nonchalant attitude toward his massive winnings. However, the attempt, if it was one, failed. After winning ten times in a row, his luck changed, and the unfortunate player left not only without his winnings but also without the original twenty thousand dollars he had invested. This incredible play was witnessed by a crowd of excited players, who were more fascinated by the player's perfect calm and recklessness than by the enormity of the stakes. It’s said that at the end of the game, he tossed a twenty-dollar gold piece to the banker and smiled as he walked away. No one recognized the man among the regulars of the place.'"
"There!" said Uncle Jim, as he hurriedly slurred over the French substantive at the close, "did ye ever see such God-forsaken foolishness?"
"There!" Uncle Jim said, quickly stumbling over the French word at the end, "have you ever seen such ridiculous nonsense?"
Uncle Billy lifted his abstracted eyes from the current, still pouring its unreturning gold into the sulking sun, and said, with a deprecatory smile, "Never!"
Uncle Billy lifted his distracted eyes from the current, still pouring its unreturning gold into the sulking sun, and said, with a modest smile, "Never!"
Nor even in the days of prosperity that visited the Great Wheat Ranch of "Fall and Foster" did he ever tell his secret to his partner.
Nor even during the prosperous times at the Great Wheat Ranch of "Fall and Foster" did he ever share his secret with his partner.
THE NOTARY OF PERIGUEUX
By H. W. LONGFELLOW
Do not trust thy body with a physician. He'll make thy foolish bones go without flesh in a fortnight, and thy soul walk without a body in a se'nnight after.—Shirley.
Do not trust your body to a doctor. He'll make your foolish bones go without flesh in two weeks, and your soul will walk without a body a week later.—Shirley.
You must know, gentlemen, that there lived some years ago, in the city of Périgueux, an honest notary public, the descendant of a very ancient and broken-down family, and the occupant of one of those old weather-beaten tenements which remind you of the times of your great-grandfather. He was a man of an unoffending, quiet disposition; the father of a family, though not the head of it—for in that family "the hen overcrowed the cock," and the neighbors, when they spake of the notary, shrugged their shoulders, and exclaimed, "Poor fellow! his spurs want sharpening." In fine—you understand me, gentlemen—he was hen-pecked.
You should know, gentlemen, that several years ago, in the city of Périgueux, there lived an honest notary public, who came from a very old and fallen family, and who inhabited one of those old, weather-beaten buildings that remind you of your great-grandfather's time. He was a man of gentle, quiet nature; the father of a family, though not the one in charge—because in that household, "the hen ruled over the rooster," and the neighbors, when they talked about the notary, would shrug their shoulders and say, "Poor guy! He needs to toughen up." In short—you get my drift, gentlemen—he was henpecked.
Well, finding no peace at home, he sought it elsewhere, as was very natural for him to do; and at length discovered a place of rest far beyond the cares and clamors of domestic life. This was a little café estaminet a short way out of the city, whither he repaired every evening to smoke his pipe, drink sugar-water, and play his favorite game of domino. There he met the boon companions he most loved; heard all the floating chit-chat of the day; laughed when he was in a merry mood; found consolation when he was sad; and at all times gave vent to his opinions without fear of being snubbed short by a flat contradiction.
Well, finding no peace at home, he looked for it elsewhere, which was only natural for him; and eventually found a place to relax far away from the worries and noise of family life. This was a small café estaminet just outside the city, where he went every evening to smoke his pipe, drink sweetened water, and play his favorite game of dominoes. There, he met the friends he loved the most; heard all the daily gossip; laughed when he was feeling cheerful; found comfort when he was down; and at all times felt free to share his opinions without worrying about getting shut down by someone disagreeing with him.
Now, the notary's bosom friend was a dealer in claret and cognac, who lived about a league from the city, and always passed his evenings at the estaminet. He was a gross, corpulent fellow, raised from a full-blooded Gascon breed, and sired by a comic actor of some reputation in his way. He was remarkable for nothing but his good-humor, his love of cards, and a strong propensity to test the quality of his own liquors by comparing them with those sold at other places.
Now, the notary's close friend was a dealer in wine and brandy, who lived about a mile from the city and always spent his evenings at the estaminet. He was a big, chubby guy, hailing from a proud Gascon lineage, and was fathered by a somewhat well-known comic actor. He was notable for nothing except his cheerful personality, his passion for playing cards, and a strong tendency to judge the quality of his own drinks by comparing them with those available at other places.
As evil communications corrupt good manners, the bad practices of the wine-dealer won insensibly upon the worthy notary; and before he was aware of it, he found himself weaned from domino and sugar-water, and addicted to piquet and spiced wine. Indeed, it not infrequently happened that, after a long session at the estaminet, the two friends grew so urbane that they would waste a full half-hour at the door in friendly dispute which should conduct the other home.
As bad influences ruin good behavior, the wine dealer's shady practices gradually affected the respectable notary; and before he knew it, he found himself moving away from casino games and soda, and getting hooked on card games and spiced wine. In fact, it often happened that after a long time at the estaminet, the two friends became so sociable that they would spend a full half-hour at the door in a friendly argument about who should take the other home.
Though this course of life agreed well enough with the sluggish, phlegmatic temperament of the wine-dealer, it soon began to play the very deuce with the more sensitive organization of the notary, and finally put his nervous system completely out of tune. He lost his appetite, became gaunt and haggard, and could get no sleep. Legions of blue-devils haunted him by day, and by night strange faces peeped through his bed-curtains and the nightmare snorted in his ear. The worse he grew the more he smoked and tippled; and the more he smoked and tippled, why, as a matter of course, the worse he grew. His wife alternately stormed, remonstrated, entreated; but all in vain. She made the house too hot for him—he retreated to the tavern; she broke his long-stemmed pipes upon the andirons—he substituted a short-stemmed one, which, for safe-keeping, he carried in his waistcoat pocket.
Though this way of living suited the sluggish, easygoing nature of the wine dealer, it quickly started to wreak havoc on the more sensitive disposition of the notary, eventually throwing his nervous system completely out of whack. He lost his appetite, became thin and worn out, and couldn’t sleep. Waves of depression haunted him during the day, and at night, strange faces peeked through his bed curtains while nightmares whispered in his ear. The worse he felt, the more he smoked and drank; and the more he smoked and drank, naturally, the worse he felt. His wife would alternate between yelling, arguing, and pleading, but it was all for nothing. She made the house uncomfortable for him—so he would retreat to the bar; when she broke his long-stemmed pipes on the fireplace, he switched to a short-stemmed one, which he kept safely in his waistcoat pocket.
Thus the unhappy notary ran gradually down at the heel. What with his bad habits and his domestic grievances, he became completely hipped. He imagined that he was going to die, and suffered in quick succession all the diseases that ever beset mortal man. Every shooting pain was an alarming symptom—every uneasy feeling after dinner a sure prognostic of some mortal disease. In vain did his friends endeavor to reason, and then to laugh him out of his strange whims; for when did ever jest or reason cure a sick imagination? His only answer was, "Do let me alone; I know better than you what ails me."
Thus, the unhappy notary gradually lost his edge. Between his bad habits and personal issues, he became completely pessimistic. He thought he was going to die and quickly went through all the illnesses that can afflict a person. Every sharp pain felt like a serious symptom—every uneasy feeling after dinner was a sure sign of some life-threatening disease. His friends tried in vain to reason with him and then to laugh him out of his strange thoughts; for when has humor or reason ever cured a sick imagination? His only response was, "Just leave me alone; I know better than you what’s wrong with me."
Well, gentlemen, things were in this state when, one afternoon in December, as he sat moping in his office, wrapped in an overcoat, with a cap on his head and his feet thrust into a pair of furred slippers, a cabriolet stopped at the door, and a loud knocking without aroused him from his gloomy revery. It was a message from his friend the wine-dealer, who had been suddenly attacked with a violent fever, and, growing worse and worse, bad now sent in the greatest haste for the notary to draw up his last will and testament. The case was urgent, and admitted neither excuse nor delay; and the notary, tying a handkerchief round his face, and buttoning up to the chin, jumped into the cabriolet, and suffered himself, though not without some dismal presentiments and misgivings of heart, to be driven to the wine-dealer's house.
Well, gentlemen, things were like this when, one afternoon in December, as he sat sulking in his office, wrapped in a coat, wearing a cap, and with his feet in a pair of fuzzy slippers, a cabriolet pulled up outside, and loud knocking brought him out of his gloomy thoughts. It was a message from his friend the wine dealer, who had suddenly come down with a severe fever and, getting worse by the minute, had now urgently sent for the notary to prepare his last will and testament. The situation was serious and allowed for no excuses or delays; so the notary, tying a handkerchief around his face and buttoning up to his chin, jumped into the cabriolet and, despite some dark feelings and worries in his heart, allowed himself to be taken to the wine dealer's house.
When he arrived he found everything in the greatest confusion. On entering the house he ran against the apothecary, who was coming down stairs, with a face as long as your arm; and a few steps farther he met the housekeeper—for the wine-dealer was an old bachelor—running up and down, and wringing her hands, for fear that the good man should die without making his will. He soon reached the chamber of his sick friend, and found him tossing about in a paroxysm of fever, and calling aloud for a draught of cold water. The notary shook his head; he thought this a fatal symptom; for ten years back the wine-dealer had been suffering under a species of hydrophobia, which seemed suddenly to have left him.
When he arrived, he found everything in total chaos. Upon entering the house, he bumped into the apothecary, who was coming down the stairs with a long face; a few steps later, he encountered the housekeeper — since the wine-dealer was an old bachelor — running around and wringing her hands, worried that the good man might die without making his will. He quickly made his way to his sick friend's room and found him tossing and turning in a fever, loudly calling for a glass of cold water. The notary shook his head; he considered this a fatal sign because ten years earlier, the wine-dealer had been suffering from a kind of hydrophobia, which seemed to have suddenly disappeared.
When the sick man saw who stood by his bedside he stretched out his hand and exclaimed:
When the sick man saw who was standing by his bedside, he reached out his hand and exclaimed:
"Ah! my dear friend! have you come at last? You see it is all over with me. You have arrived just in time to draw up that—that passport of mine. Ah, grand diable! how hot it is here! Water—water—water! Will nobody give me a drop of cold water?"
"Ah! my dear friend! Have you finally arrived? You see it’s all over for me. You got here just in time to help me with that—that passport of mine. Ah, grand diable! It’s so hot in here! Water—water—water! Will nobody give me a drop of cold water?"
As the case was an urgent one, the notary made no delay in getting his papers in readiness; and in a short time the last will and testament of the wine-dealer was drawn up in due form, the notary guiding the sick man's hand as he scrawled his signature at the bottom.
As the situation was urgent, the notary quickly prepared the necessary papers; and soon the wine-dealer's last will and testament was properly drafted, with the notary assisting the sick man as he scribbled his signature at the bottom.
As the evening wore away, the wine-dealer grew worse and worse, and at length became delirious, mingling in his incoherent ravings the phrases of the Credo and Paternoster with the shibboleth of the dram-shop and the card-table.
As the evening went on, the wine dealer got more and more out of control, and eventually became delirious, mixing up fragments of the Creed and Lord's Prayer with the lingo of the bar and the card table.
"Take care! take care! There, now—Credo in—Pop! ting-a-ling-ling! give me some of that. Cent-é-dize! Why, you old publican, this wine is poisoned—I know your tricks!—Sanctam ecclesiam Catholicam—Well, well, we shall see. Imbecile! to have a tierce-major and a seven of hearts, and discard the seven! By St. Anthony, capot! You are lurched—ha! ha! I told you so. I knew very well—there—there—don't interrupt me—Carnis resurrectionem et vitam eternam!"
"Watch out! Watch out! There, now—Credo in—Pop! ting-a-ling-ling! Give me some of that. Cent-é-dize! You old bartender, this wine is poisoned—I know your tricks!—Sanctam ecclesiam Catholicam—Well, we shall see. Fool! to have a tierce-major and a seven of hearts and throw away the seven! By St. Anthony, you’re busted—ha! ha! I told you so. I knew it all along—there—there—don't interrupt me—Carnis resurrectionem et vitam eternam!"
With these words upon his lips the poor wine-dealer expired. Meanwhile the notary sat cowering over the fire, aghast at the fearful scene that was passing before him, and now and then striving to keep up his courage by a glass of cognac. Already his fears were on the alert, and the idea of contagion flitted to and fro through his mind. In order to quiet these thoughts of evil import, he lighted his pipe, and began to prepare for returning home. At that moment the apothecary turned round to him and said:
With those words on his lips, the poor wine dealer died. Meanwhile, the notary sat huddled by the fire, shocked by the horrifying scene in front of him, and occasionally trying to steady his nerves with a drink of cognac. His fears were already heightened, and the thought of contagion kept crossing his mind. To silence these dark thoughts, he lit his pipe and started getting ready to head home. At that moment, the apothecary turned to him and said:
"Dreadful sickly time, this! The disorder seems to be spreading."
"Dreadfully sickly time, this! The illness seems to be spreading."
"What disorder?" exclaimed the notary, with a movement of surprise.
"What disorder?" the notary exclaimed, surprised.
"Two died yesterday, and three to-day," continued the apothecary, without answering the question. "Very sickly time, sir—very."
"Two people died yesterday, and three today," the apothecary said, ignoring the question. "It's a really unhealthy time, sir—very."
"But what disorder is it? What disease has carried off my friend here so suddenly?"
"But what illness is it? What disease has taken my friend away so abruptly?"
"What disease? Why, scarlet fever, to be sure."
"What disease? Oh, it's definitely scarlet fever."
"And is it contagious?"
"Is it contagious?"
"Certainly."
"Sure."
"Then I am a dead man!" exclaimed the notary, putting his pipe into his waistcoat-pocket, and beginning to walk up and down the room in despair. "I am a dead man! Now don't deceive me—don't, will you? What—what are the symptoms?"
"Then I'm a dead man!" the notary exclaimed, shoving his pipe into his pocket and starting to pace the room in despair. "I'm a dead man! Please don't mislead me—don't, okay? What—what are the symptoms?"
"A sharp burning pain in the right side," said the apothecary.
"A sharp burning pain on the right side," said the pharmacist.
"Oh, what a fool I was to come here!"
"Oh, how foolish of me to come here!"
In vain did the housekeeper and the apothecary strive to pacify him—he was not a man to be reasoned with; he answered that he knew his own constitution better than they did, and insisted upon going home without delay. Unfortunately, the vehicle he came in had returned to the city, and the whole neighborhood was abed and asleep. What was to be done? Nothing in the world but to take the apothecary's horse, which stood hitched at the door, patiently waiting his master's will.
In vain did the housekeeper and the pharmacist try to calm him down—he wasn't someone you could reason with; he insisted he knew his own body better than they did and demanded to go home immediately. Unfortunately, the ride he arrived in had gone back to the city, and the entire neighborhood was fast asleep. What could be done? There was nothing for it but to take the pharmacist's horse, which was tied up at the door, patiently waiting for its owner.
Well, gentlemen, as there was no remedy, our notary mounted this raw-boned steed, and set forth upon his homeward journey. The night was cold and gusty, and the wind right in his teeth. Overhead the leaden clouds were beating to and fro, and through them the newly-risen moon seemed to be tossing and drifting along like a cock-boat in the surf; now swallowed up in a huge billow of cloud, and now lifted upon its bosom and dashed with silvery spray. The trees by the roadside groaned with a sound of evil omen, and before him lay three mortal miles, beset with a thousand imaginary perils. Obedient to the whip and spur, the steed leaped forward by fits and starts, now dashing away in a tremendous gallop, and now relaxing into a long, hard trot; while the rider, filled with symptoms of disease and dire presentiments of death, urged him on, as if he were fleeing before the pestilence.
Well, gentlemen, since there was no other option, our notary got on his bony horse and started his journey home. The night was cold and windy, and the gusts hit him right in the face. Above him, the heavy clouds were swirling around, and the newly-risen moon looked like it was bobbing about like a small boat in the waves; sometimes obscured by a thick cloud, and other times lifted up and splashed with silvery light. The trees by the roadside creaked ominously, and he faced three long miles ahead, filled with countless imagined dangers. Following the commands of the whip and spur, the horse jumped forward in fits and starts, sometimes charging away at a wild gallop, and other times slowing down to a steady trot; while the rider, overtaken by signs of illness and dark forebodings of death, urged him on, as if trying to escape from a plague.
In this way, by dint of whistling and shouting, and beating right and left, one mile of the fatal three was safely passed. The apprehensions of the notary had so far subsided that he even suffered the poor horse to walk up hill; but these apprehensions were suddenly revived again with tenfold violence by a sharp pain in the right side, which seemed to pierce him like a needle.
In this way, through whistling and shouting, and pushing left and right, one mile of the dangerous three was safely behind them. The notary's worries had eased enough that he even let the poor horse walk up the hill; but these worries suddenly returned with even greater intensity when a sharp pain in his right side struck him like a needle.
"It is upon me at last!" groaned the fear-stricken man. "Heaven be merciful to me, the greatest of sinners! And must I die in a ditch, after all? He! get up! get up!"
"It’s finally here for me!" groaned the terrified man. "God, have mercy on me, the worst of sinners! And do I really have to die in a ditch after everything? Hey! Get up! Get up!"
And away went horse and rider at full speed—hurry-scurry—up hill and down—panting and blowing like a whirlwind. At every leap the pain in the rider's side seemed to increase. At first it was a little point like the prick of a needle—then it spread to the size of a half-franc piece—then covered a place as large as the palm of your hand. It gained upon him fast. The poor man groaned aloud in agony; faster and faster sped the horse over the frozen ground—farther and farther spread the pain over his side. To complete the dismal picture, the storm commenced—snow mingled with rain. But snow and rain, and cold were naught to him; for, though his arms and legs were frozen to icicles, he felt it not; the fatal symptom was upon him; he was doomed to die—not of cold, but of scarlet fever!
And off went the horse and rider at full speed—hurry-scurry—uphill and downhill—panting and gasping like a whirlwind. With every jump, the pain in the rider's side seemed to intensify. At first, it was just a tiny spot like a needle prick—then it spread to the size of a half-franc coin—eventually covering an area as large as your palm. It was escalating quickly. The poor man groaned in agony; the horse raced faster over the frozen ground—while the pain spread further across his side. To make matters worse, a storm started—snow mixed with rain. But snow, rain, and cold didn’t bother him; even though his arms and legs were frozen solid, he felt nothing. The deadly symptom was there; he was doomed to die—not from the cold, but from scarlet fever!
At length, he knew not how, more dead than alive, he reached the gate of the city. A band of ill-bred dogs, that were serenading at a corner of the street, seeing the notary dash by, joined in the hue and cry, and ran barking and yelping at his heels. It was now late at night, and only here and there a solitary lamp twinkled from an upper story. But on went the notary, down this street and up that, till at last he reached his own door. There was a light in his wife's bedchamber. The good woman came to the window, alarmed at such a knocking, and howling, and clattering at her door so late at night; and the notary was too deeply absorbed in his own sorrows to observe that the lamp cast the shadow of two heads on the window-curtain.
Finally, he didn’t know how, more dead than alive, he made it to the city gate. A pack of unruly dogs, hanging out on a street corner, saw the notary rush by and joined in the noise, barking and yelping at his heels. It was late at night, with only a few lonely lamps flickering from upper floors. But the notary kept moving, down this street and up that one, until he finally reached his own door. There was a light in his wife's bedroom. The good woman came to the window, worried about the loud knocking and commotion at her door so late at night; and the notary was too wrapped up in his own troubles to notice that the lamp was casting the shadow of two heads on the curtain.
"Let me in! let me in! Quick! quick!" he exclaimed, almost breathless from terror and fatigue.
"Let me in! Let me in! Hurry! Hurry!" he shouted, nearly out of breath from fear and exhaustion.
"Who are you, that come to disturb a lone woman at this hour of the night?" cried a sharp voice from above. "Begone about your business, and let quiet people sleep."
"Who are you to disturb a lone woman at this hour of the night?" a sharp voice called from above. "Get lost and let quiet people sleep."
"Oh, diable, diable! Come down and let me in! I am your husband. Don't you know my voice? Quick, I beseech you; for I am dying here in the street!"
"Oh, devil, devil! Come down and let me in! I’m your husband. Don’t you recognize my voice? Hurry, I beg you; I’m dying out here in the street!"
After a few moments of delay and a few more words of parley, the door was opened, and the notary stalked into his domicile, pale and haggard in aspect, and as stiff and straight as a ghost. Cased from head to heel in an armor of ice, as the glare of the lamp fell upon him he looked like a knight-errant mailed in steel. But in one place his armor was broken. On his right side was a circular spot as large as the crown of your hat, and about as black!
After a brief delay and a few more words exchanged, the door swung open, and the notary entered his home, looking pale and worn out, as stiff and upright as a ghost. Covered from head to toe in a hard layer of ice, he appeared like a knight in shining armor when the lamp lit him. But there was one spot where his armor was damaged. On his right side was a circular area as big as the top of your hat, and just as dark!
"My dear wife!" he exclaimed, with more tenderness than he had exhibited for many years, "reach me a chair. My hours are numbered. I am a dead man!"
"My dear wife!" he said, with more warmth than he had shown in years, "please get me a chair. My time is limited. I am dying!"
Alarmed at these exclamations, his wife stripped off his overcoat. Something fell from beneath it, and was dashed to pieces on the hearth. It was the notary's pipe. He placed his hand upon his side, and lo! it was bare to the skin. Coat, waistcoat, and linen were burnt through and through, and there was a blister on his side as large over as your head!
Alarmed by these exclamations, his wife took off his overcoat. Something fell from underneath it and shattered on the hearth. It was the notary's pipe. He placed his hand on his side, and to his surprise, it was bare to the skin. His coat, waistcoat, and shirt were burned through completely, and there was a blister on his side as big as your head!
The mystery was soon explained, symptom and all. The notary had put his pipe into his pocket without knocking out the ashes! And so my story ends.
The mystery was quickly solved, including all the details. The notary had put his pipe in his pocket without emptying the ashes! And that's where my story wraps up.
"Is that all?" asked the radical, when the story-teller had finished.
"Is that it?" asked the radical, when the storyteller was done.
"That is all."
"That's all."
"Well, what does your story prove?"
"Well, what does your story show?"
"That is more than I can tell. All I know is that the story is true."
"That's more than I can say. All I know is that the story is real."
"And did he die?" said the nice little man in gosling-green.
"And did he die?" asked the nice little man in a pale green outfit.
"Yes; he died afterward," replied the story-teller, rather annoyed at the question.
"Yeah, he died later," replied the storyteller, a bit annoyed by the question.
"And what did he die of?" continued gosling-green, following him up.
"And what did he die from?" continued gosling-green, following him.
"What did he die of? why, he died—of a sudden!"
"What did he die from? Well, he died—suddenly!"
THE WIDOW'S CRUISE
By F. R. STOCKTON
"From a Story-Teller's Pack." Copyright 1897 by Charles Scribner's Sons.
"From a Story-Teller's Pack." Copyright 1897 by Charles Scribner's Sons.
The widow Ducket lived in a small village about ten miles from the New Jersey seacoast. In this village she was born, here she had married and buried her husband, and here she expected somebody to bury her; but she was in no hurry for this, for she had scarcely reached middle age. She was a tall woman with no apparent fat in her composition, and full of activity, both muscular and mental.
The widow Ducket lived in a small village about ten miles from the New Jersey coast. She was born in this village, got married here, and buried her husband here, and she expected someone to bury her here too; but she wasn’t in a rush for that, as she had barely reached middle age. She was a tall woman with no visible weight to her frame, full of energy, both physically and mentally.
She rose at six o'clock in the morning, cooked breakfast, set the table, washed the dishes when the meal was over, milked, churned, swept, washed, ironed, worked in her little garden, attended to the flowers in the front yard and in the afternoon knitted and quilted and sewed, and after tea she either went to see her neighbors or had them come to see her. When it was really dark she lighted the lamp in her parlor and read for an hour, and if it happened to be one of Miss Mary Wilkins's books that she read she expressed doubts as to the realism of the characters therein described.
She got up at six in the morning, made breakfast, set the table, cleaned up after the meal, milked the cows, churned butter, swept the floors, did the laundry, ironed clothes, tended to her little garden, took care of the flowers in the front yard, and in the afternoon, she knitted, quilted, and sewed. After tea, she either visited her neighbors or had them come over. When it got really dark, she lit the lamp in her living room and read for an hour, and if she happened to be reading one of Miss Mary Wilkins's books, she questioned the realism of the characters in it.
These doubts she expressed to Dorcas Networthy, who was a small, plump woman, with a solemn face, who had lived with the widow for many years and who had become her devoted disciple. Whatever the widow did, that also did Dorcas—not so well, for her heart told her she could never expect to do that, but with a yearning anxiety to do everything as well as she could.
These doubts she shared with Dorcas Networthy, a short, plump woman with a serious expression who had been living with the widow for many years and had become her loyal follower. Whatever the widow did, Dorcas tried to do too—not quite as well, since she felt deep down that she could never achieve that, but with a heartfelt desire to do everything as well as she possibly could.
She rose at five minutes past six, and in a subsidiary way she helped to get the breakfast, to eat it, to wash up the dishes, to work in the garden, to quilt, to sew, to visit and receive, and no one could have tried harder than she did to keep awake when the widow read aloud in the evening.
She got up at 6:05 and in her own way, she helped with breakfast, ate it, washed the dishes, worked in the garden, quilted, sewed, visited friends, and entertained guests. No one tried harder than she did to stay awake when the widow read aloud in the evening.
All these things happened every day in the summer-time, but in the winter the widow and Dorcas cleared the snow from their little front path instead of attending to the flowers, and in the evening they lighted a fire as well as a lamp in the parlor.
All these things happened every day in the summer, but in the winter, the widow and Dorcas cleared the snow from their little front path instead of taking care of the flowers, and in the evening, they lit a fire as well as a lamp in the living room.
Sometimes, however, something different happened, but this was not often, only a few times in the year. One of the different things occurred when Mrs. Ducket and Dorcas were sitting on their little front porch one summer afternoon, one on the little bench on one side of the door, and the other on the little bench on the other side of the door, each waiting until she should hear the clock strike five, to prepare tea. But it was not yet a quarter to five when a one-horse wagon containing four men came slowly down the street. Dorcas first saw the wagon, and she instantly stopped knitting.
Sometimes, though, something unusual happened, but it wasn't common, just a few times a year. One of those unusual moments took place when Mrs. Ducket and Dorcas were sitting on their small front porch one summer afternoon, one on the little bench on one side of the door and the other on the little bench on the other side, both waiting to hear the clock strike five to start preparing tea. But it wasn't even a quarter to five when a horse-drawn wagon with four men slowly came down the street. Dorcas noticed the wagon first, and she immediately stopped knitting.
"Mercy on me!" she exclaimed. "Whoever those people are, they are strangers here, and they don't know where to stop, for they first go to one side of the street and then to the other."
"Have mercy on me!" she cried. "Whoever those people are, they're strangers here, and they have no idea where to stop, since they first go to one side of the street and then to the other."
The widow looked around sharply. "Humph!" said she. "Those men are sailormen. You might see that in a twinklin' of an eye. Sailormen always drive that way, because that is the way they sail ships. They first tack in one direction and then in another."
The widow looked around quickly. "Humph!" she said. "Those guys are sailors. You can tell that in a blink of an eye. Sailors always drive like that because it’s how they navigate ships. They first go in one direction and then in another."
"Mr. Ducket didn't like the sea?" remarked Dorcas, for about the three hundredth time.
"Mr. Ducket didn't like the sea?" Dorcas said, for the three hundredth time.
"No, he didn't," answered the widow, for about the two hundred and fiftieth time, for there had been occasions when she thought Dorcas put this question inopportunely. "He hated it, and he was drowned in it through trustin' a sailorman, which I never did nor shall. Do you really believe those men are comin' here?"
"No, he didn't," replied the widow for about the two hundred and fiftieth time, as there were moments when she felt Dorcas asked this question at the wrong time. "He hated it, and he drowned because he trusted a sailor, which I never did and never will. Do you really think those men are coming here?"
"Upon my word I do!" said Dorcas, and her opinion was correct.
"Honestly, I do!" said Dorcas, and she was right.
The wagon drew up in front of Mrs. Ducket's little white house, and the two women sat rigidly, their hands in their laps, staring at the man who drove.
The wagon stopped in front of Mrs. Ducket's small white house, and the two women sat stiffly, their hands in their laps, staring at the man who was driving.
This was an elderly personage with whitish hair, and under his chin a thin whitish beard, which waved in the gentle breeze and gave Dorcas the idea that his head was filled with hair which was leaking out from below.
This was an old man with whitish hair and a thin whitish beard under his chin that swayed in the gentle breeze, giving Dorcas the impression that his head was overflowing with hair that was spilling out from underneath.
"Is this the Widow Ducket's?" inquired this elderly man, in a strong, penetrating voice.
"Is this Widow Ducket's place?" asked the elderly man in a loud, clear voice.
"That's my name," said the widow, and laying her knitting on the bench beside her, she went to the gate. Dorcas also laid her knitting on the bench beside her and went to the gate.
"That's my name," said the widow, and setting her knitting down on the bench next to her, she walked to the gate. Dorcas also set her knitting down on the bench beside her and followed her to the gate.
"I was told," said the elderly man, "at a house we touched at about a quarter of a mile back, that the Widow Ducket's was the only house in this village where there was any chance of me and my mates getting a meal. We are four sailors, and we are making from the bay over to Cuppertown, and that's eight miles ahead yet, and we are all pretty sharp set for something to eat."
"I was told," said the elderly man, "at a house we passed about a quarter of a mile back, that Widow Ducket's was the only place in this village where me and my friends could get a meal. We’re four sailors, heading from the bay to Cuppertown, which is eight miles away, and we’re all pretty hungry for something to eat."
"This is the place," said the widow, "and I do give meals if there is enough in the house and everything comes handy."
"This is the place," said the widow, "and I do provide meals if there's enough in the house and everything is readily available."
"Does everything come handy to-day?" said he.
"Is everything handy today?" he asked.
"It does," said she, "and you can hitch your horse and come in; but I haven't got anything for him."
"It does," she said, "and you can tie up your horse and come in; but I don't have anything for him."
"Oh, that's all right," said the man, "we brought along stores for him, so we'll just make fast and then come in."
"Oh, that's fine," said the man, "we brought supplies for him, so we'll just secure everything and then come in."
The two women hurried into the house in a state of bustling preparation, for the furnishing of this meal meant one dollar in cash.
The two women rushed into the house, busy getting everything ready, because preparing this meal meant one dollar in cash.
The four mariners, all elderly men, descended from the wagon, each one scrambling with alacrity over a different wheel.
The four sailors, all old men, got out of the wagon, each one quickly scrambling over a different wheel.
A box of broken ship-biscuit was brought out and put on the ground in front of the horse, who immediately set himself to eating with great satisfaction.
A box of broken ship biscuit was brought out and placed on the ground in front of the horse, who immediately began eating it with great satisfaction.
Tea was a little late that day, because there were six persons to provide for instead of two, but it was a good meal, and after the four seamen had washed their hands and faces at the pump in the back yard and had wiped them on two towels furnished by Dorcas, they all came in and sat down. Mrs. Ducket seated herself at the head of the table with the dignity proper to the mistress of the house, and Dorcas seated herself at the other end with the dignity proper to the disciple of the mistress. No service was necessary, for everything that was to be eaten or drunk was on the table.
Tea was a little late that day because there were six people to serve instead of two, but it was a good meal. After the four sailors washed their hands and faces at the pump in the backyard and dried them with two towels provided by Dorcas, they all came in and sat down. Mrs. Ducket took her place at the head of the table with the dignity expected of the lady of the house, while Dorcas sat at the other end with the respect fitting for a servant. No serving was needed, as everything to eat or drink was already on the table.
When each of the elderly mariners had had as much bread and butter, quickly baked soda-biscuit, dried beef, cold ham, cold tongue, and preserved fruit of every variety known, as his storage capacity would permit, the mariner in command, Captain Bird, pushed back his chair, whereupon the other mariners pushed back their chairs.
When each of the older sailors had eaten as much bread and butter, freshly baked soda biscuits, dried beef, cold ham, cold tongue, and preserved fruit of every kind they could hold, the captain in charge, Captain Bird, pushed back his chair, and then the other sailors followed suit and pushed back their chairs.
"Madam," said Captain Bird, "we have all made a good meal, which didn't need to be no better nor more of it, and we're satisfied; but that horse out there has not had time to rest himself enough to go the eight miles that lies ahead of us, so, if it's all the same to you and this good lady, we'd like to sit on that front porch awhile and smoke our pipes. I was a-looking at that porch when I came in, and I bethought to myself what a rare good place it was to smoke a pipe in."
"Ma'am," said Captain Bird, "we all had a decent meal, just enough to be happy with, and we're satisfied; but that horse out there hasn’t had enough time to rest for the eight miles that are ahead of us. So, if it's alright with you and this lovely lady, we’d like to sit on that front porch for a bit and smoke our pipes. I was looking at that porch when I came in, and I thought to myself what a great place it would be to smoke a pipe."
"There's pipes been smoked there," said the widow, rising, "and it can be done again. Inside the house I don't allow tobacco, but on the porch neither of us minds."
"People have smoked pipes here," said the widow, getting up, "and it can happen again. I don't allow tobacco inside the house, but we don’t mind on the porch."
So the four captains betook themselves to the porch, two of them seating themselves on the little bench on one side of the door, and two of them on the little bench on the other side of the door, and lighted their pipes.
So the four captains went to the porch, with two of them sitting on the small bench on one side of the door and the other two on the small bench on the opposite side of the door, and they lit their pipes.
"Shall we clear off the table and wash up the dishes," said Dorcas, "or wait until they are gone?"
"Should we clear the table and wash the dishes," Dorcas said, "or should we wait until they leave?"
"We will wait until they are gone," said the widow, "for now that they are here we might as well have a bit of a chat with them. When a sailorman lights his pipe he is generally willin' to talk, but when he is eatin' you can't get a word out of him."
"We'll wait until they leave," said the widow, "since they're here, we might as well have a little chat with them. When a sailor lights his pipe, he's usually up for a conversation, but when he's eating, you can't get a word out of him."
Without thinking it necessary to ask permission, for the house belonged to her, the Widow Ducket brought a chair and put it in the hall close to the open front door, and Dorcas brought another chair and seated herself by the side of the widow.
Without feeling the need to ask for permission, since the house was hers, the Widow Ducket brought a chair and placed it in the hall near the open front door, and Dorcas brought another chair and sat down next to the widow.
"Do all you sailormen belong down there at the bay?" asked Mrs. Ducket; thus the conversation began, and in a few minutes it had reached a point at which Captain Bird thought it proper to say that a great many strange things happen to seamen sailing on the sea which lands-people never dream of.
"Do all you sailors belong down there at the bay?" asked Mrs. Ducket; with that, the conversation started, and in a few minutes, it had gone to a point where Captain Bird thought it was appropriate to say that a lot of strange things happen to sailors at sea that people on land could never imagine.
"Such as anything in particular?" asked the widow, at which remark Dorcas clasped her hands in expectancy.
"Is there anything specific?" asked the widow, prompting Dorcas to clasp her hands in anticipation.
At this question each of the mariners took his pipe from his mouth and gazed upon the floor in thought.
At this question, each of the sailors took their pipe out of their mouth and stared at the floor, lost in thought.
"There's a good many strange things happened to me and my mates at sea. Would you and that other lady like to hear any of them?" asked Captain Bird.
"Many strange things have happened to me and my friends at sea. Would you and that other lady like to hear any of them?" asked Captain Bird.
"We would like to hear them if they are true," said the widow.
"We'd like to hear them if they're true," said the widow.
"There's nothing happened to me and my mates that isn't true," said Captain Bird, "and here is something that once happened to me: I was on a whaling v'yage when a big sperm-whale, just as mad as a fiery bull, came at us, head on, and struck the ship at the stern with such tremendous force that his head crashed right through her timbers and he went nearly half his length into her hull. The hold was mostly filled with empty barrels, for we was just beginning our v'yage, and when he had made kindling-wood of these there was room enough for him. We all expected that it wouldn't take five minutes for the vessel to fill and go to the bottom, and we made ready to take to the boats; but it turned out we didn't need to take to no boats, for as fast as the water rushed into the hold of the ship, that whale drank it and squirted it up through the two blow-holes in the top of his head, and as there was an open hatchway just over his head, the water all went into the sea again, and that whale kept working day and night pumping the water out until we beached the vessel on the island of Trinidad—the whale helping us wonderful on our way over by the powerful working of his tail, which, being outside in the water, acted like a propeller. I don't believe anything stranger than that ever happened to a whaling-ship."
"Nothing happened to me and my buddies that isn't true," said Captain Bird, "and here’s something that really happened to me: I was on a whaling voyage when a huge sperm whale, as mad as a raging bull, charged at us, head-on, and hit the ship at the back with such incredible force that its head smashed right through the wood and went nearly halfway into the hull. The hold was mostly filled with empty barrels since we were just starting our voyage, and when it turned those into kindling, there was room enough for it. We all thought it would only take five minutes for the ship to fill up and sink, so we got ready to jump into the boats; but it turned out we didn't need to because as quickly as the water rushed into the hold, that whale drank it and shot it out through the two blowholes on top of its head, and since there was an open hatch right above it, the water just went back into the sea, with that whale continuously pumping the water out until we beached the ship on the island of Trinidad—the whale amazingly helping us along with the powerful motion of its tail, which, being in the water, acted like a propeller. I don’t think anything stranger than that ever happened to a whaling ship."
"No," said the widow, "I don't believe anything ever did."
"No," said the widow, "I don't think anything ever has."
Captain Bird now looked at Captain Sanderson, and the latter took his pipe out of his mouth and said that in all his sailing around the world he had never known anything queerer than what happened to a big steamship he chanced to be on, which ran into an island in a fog. Everybody on board thought the ship was wrecked, but it had twin screws, and was going at such a tremendous speed that it turned the island entirely upside down and sailed over it, and he had heard tell that even now people sailing over the spot could look down into the water and see the roots of the trees and the cellars of the houses.
Captain Bird now looked at Captain Sanderson, who took his pipe out of his mouth and said that in all his travels around the world, he had never seen anything stranger than what happened to a huge steamship he happened to be on, which collided with an island in a fog. Everyone on board thought the ship was wrecked, but it had twin screws and was going at such an incredible speed that it completely flipped the island upside down and sailed right over it. He had heard that even now, people passing over that spot could look down into the water and see the roots of the trees and the cellars of the houses.
Captain Sanderson now put his pipe back into his mouth, and Captain Burress took out his pipe.
Captain Sanderson put his pipe back in his mouth, and Captain Burress pulled out his pipe.
"I was once in an obelisk-ship," said he, "that used to trade regular between Egypt and New York, carrying obelisks. We had a big obelisk on board. The way they ship obelisks is to make a hole in the stern of the ship, and run the obelisk in, p'inted end foremost; and this obelisk filled up nearly the whole of that ship from stern to bow. We was about ten days out, and sailing afore a northeast gale with the engines at full speed, when suddenly we spied breakers ahead, and our captain saw we was about to run on a bank. Now if we hadn't had an obelisk on board we might have sailed over that bank, but the captain knew that with an obelisk on board we drew too much water for this, and that we'd be wrecked in about fifty-five seconds if something wasn't done quick. So he had to do something quick, and this is what he did: He ordered all steam on, and drove slam-bang on that bank. Just as he expected, we stopped so suddint that that big obelisk bounced for'ard, its p'inted end foremost, and went clean through the bow and shot out into the sea. The minute it did that the vessel was so lightened that it rose in the water and we then steamed over the bank. There was one man knocked overboard by the shock when we struck, but as soon as we missed him we went back after him and we got him all right. You see, when that obelisk went overboard, its butt-end, which was heaviest, went down first, and when it touched the bottom it just stood there, and as it was such a big obelisk there was about five and a half feet of it stuck out of the water. The man who was knocked overboard he just swum for that obelisk and he climbed up the hiryglyphics. It was a mighty fine obelisk, and the Egyptians had cut their hiryglyphics good and deep, so that the man could get hand and foot hold; and when we got to him and took him off, he was sitting high and dry on the p'inted end of that obelisk. It was a great pity about the obelisk, for it was a good obelisk, but as I never heard the company tried to raise it, I expect it is standing there yet."
"I was once on a ship that traded regularly between Egypt and New York, carrying obelisks," he said. "We had a huge obelisk on board. The way they transport obelisks is to cut a hole in the back of the ship and slide the obelisk in, pointed end first; and this obelisk took up nearly the entire ship from back to front. We were about ten days out, sailing with a northeast gale and the engines at full speed, when suddenly we spotted breakers ahead and our captain realized we were about to run aground. If we hadn't had an obelisk on board, we might have passed over that bank, but the captain knew that with an obelisk onboard, we were too deep in the water to do that, and we'd be wrecked in about fifty-five seconds if something didn't happen fast. So he had to act quickly, and here’s what he did: He ordered full steam ahead and drove straight onto that bank. Just as he expected, we stopped so suddenly that the big obelisk shot forward, its pointed end first, and went right through the bow, shooting out into the sea. The moment that happened, the ship was so much lighter that it rose in the water, and we then steamed over the bank. One man was knocked overboard by the impact when we hit, but as soon as we realized we had lost him, we turned back and rescued him just fine. You see, when that obelisk went overboard, its butt end, which was the heaviest part, sank first, and when it hit the bottom, it just stood there. Since it was such a large obelisk, about five and a half feet of it stuck out of the water. The man who had fallen overboard swam for that obelisk and climbed up the hieroglyphics. It was a fantastic obelisk, and the Egyptians had carved their hieroglyphics really deep, giving him good handholds and footholds; when we reached him and pulled him off, he was sitting high and dry on the pointed end of that obelisk. It was a real shame about the obelisk because it was a beautiful one, but since I never heard that the company tried to recover it, I expect it's still standing there."
Captain Burress now put his pipe back into his mouth and looked at Captain Jenkinson, who removed his pipe and said:
Captain Burress put his pipe back in his mouth and glanced at Captain Jenkinson, who took his pipe out and said:
"The queerest thing that ever happened to me was about a shark. We was off the Banks, and the time of year was July, and the ice was coming down, and we got in among a lot of it. Not far away, off our weather bow, there was a little iceberg which had such a queerness about it that the captain and three men went in a boat to look at it. The ice was mighty clear ice, and you could see almost through it, and right inside of it, not more than three feet above the water-line, and about two feet, or maybe twenty inches, inside the ice, was a whopping big shark, about fourteen feet long,—a regular man-eater,—frozen in there hard and fast. 'Bless my soul,' said the captain, 'this is a wonderful curiosity, and I'm going to git him out.' Just then one of the men said he saw that shark wink, but the captain wouldn't believe him, for he said that shark was frozen stiff and hard and couldn't wink. You see, the captain had his own idees about things, and he knew that whales was warm-blooded and would freeze if they was shut up in ice, but he forgot that sharks was not whales and that they're cold-blooded just like toads. And there is toads that has been shut up in rocks for thousands of years, and they stayed alive, no matter how cold the place was, because they was cold-blooded, and when the rocks was split, out hopped the frog. But, as I said before, the captain forgot sharks was cold-blooded, and he determined to git that one out.
"The weirdest thing that ever happened to me was about a shark. We were off the Banks, it was July, and the ice was coming down, and we got caught up in a lot of it. Not far away, off our weather bow, there was a little iceberg that was so strange that the captain and three guys went out in a boat to check it out. The ice was really clear, and you could see almost through it, and right inside, not more than three feet above the waterline, and about two feet, or maybe twenty inches, inside the ice, was a huge shark, about fourteen feet long—definitely a man-eater—frozen in there solid. 'My goodness,' said the captain, 'this is an amazing find, and I'm going to get him out.' Just then one of the guys said he saw that shark wink, but the captain didn’t believe him because he thought that shark was frozen stiff and couldn’t wink. You see, the captain had his own ideas about things, and he knew that whales are warm-blooded and would freeze if trapped in ice, but he forgot that sharks aren’t whales and that they’re cold-blooded like toads. And there are toads that have been trapped in rocks for thousands of years and stayed alive, no matter how cold it was, because they’re cold-blooded, and when the rocks were split, out hopped the frog. But, as I said before, the captain forgot that sharks are cold-blooded, and he was determined to get that one out."
"Now you both know, being housekeepers, that if you take a needle and drive it into a hunk of ice you can split it. The captain had a sail-needle with him, and so he drove it into the iceberg right alongside of the shark and split it. Now the minute he did it he knew that the man was right when he said he saw the shark wink, for it flopped out of that iceberg quicker nor a flash of lightning."
"Now you both know, since you’re housekeepers, that if you take a needle and push it into a chunk of ice, you can split it. The captain had a sail needle with him, so he drove it into the iceberg right next to the shark and split it. The moment he did it, he realized the guy was right when he said he saw the shark wink, because it jumped out of that iceberg faster than a flash of lightning."
"What a happy fish he must have been!" ejaculated Dorcas, forgetful of precedent, so great was her emotion.
"What a happy fish he must have been!" Dorcas exclaimed, caught up in her feelings and forgetting all formalities.
"Yes," said Captain Jenkinson, "it was a happy fish enough, but it wasn't a happy captain. You see, that shark hadn't had anything to eat, perhaps for a thousand years, until the captain came along with his sail-needle."
"Yeah," said Captain Jenkinson, "the fish was pretty happy, but the captain wasn't. You see, that shark hadn't eaten anything, maybe for a thousand years, until I showed up with my sail-needle."
"Surely you sailormen do see strange things," now said the widow, "and the strangest thing about them is that they are true."
"Surely you sailors see some strange things," the widow said, "and the craziest part is that they’re all true."
"Yes, indeed," said Dorcas, "that is the most wonderful thing."
"Yeah, definitely," said Dorcas, "that's the most amazing thing."
"You wouldn't suppose," said the Widow Ducket, glancing from one bench of mariners to the other, "that I have a sea-story to tell, but I have, and if you like I will tell it to you."
"You might not think," said the Widow Ducket, looking from one group of sailors to the other, "that I have a sea story to share, but I do, and if you want, I’ll tell it to you."
Captain Bird looked up a little surprised.
Captain Bird looked up, a bit surprised.
"We would like to hear it—indeed, we would, madam," said he.
"We would love to hear it—really, we would, ma'am," he said.
"Ay, ay!" said Captain Burress, and the two other mariners nodded.
"Ay, ay!" said Captain Burress, and the two other sailors nodded.
"It was a good while ago," she said, "when I was living on the shore near the head of the bay, that my husband was away and I was left alone in the house. One mornin' my sister-in-law, who lived on the other side of the bay, sent me word by a boy on a horse that she hadn't any oil in the house to fill the lamp that she always put in the window to light her husband home, who was a fisherman, and if I would send her some by the boy she would pay me back as soon as they bought oil. The boy said he would stop on his way home and take the oil to her, but he never did stop, or perhaps he never went back, and about five o'clock I began to get dreadfully worried, for I knew if that lamp wasn't in my sister-in-law's window by dark she might be a widow before midnight. So I said to myself, 'I've got to get that oil to her, no matter what happens or how it's done.' Of course I couldn't tell what might happen, but there was only one way it could be done, and that was for me to get into the boat that was tied to the post down by the water, and take it to her, for it was too far for me to walk around by the head of the bay. Now, the trouble was, I didn't know no more about a boat and the managin' of it than any one of you sailormen knows about clear-starchin'. But there wasn't no use of thinkin' what I knew and what I didn't know, for I had to take it to her, and there was no way of doin' it except in that boat. So I filled a gallon can, for I thought I might as well take enough while I was about it, and I went down to the water and I unhitched that boat and I put the oil-can into her, and then I got in, and off I started, and when I was about a quarter of a mile from the shore—"
"It was a long time ago," she said, "when I was living by the shore near the head of the bay, and my husband was away, leaving me alone in the house. One morning, my sister-in-law, who lived on the other side of the bay, sent me a message through a boy on a horse saying she didn’t have any oil to fill the lamp she always placed in the window to guide her husband home—he was a fisherman. She asked if I could send her some with the boy and that she would pay me back as soon as she got some oil. The boy said he would stop on his way home and deliver the oil to her, but he never did, or maybe he just never went back. By around five o'clock, I started to get really worried because I knew if that lamp wasn’t in my sister-in-law’s window by dark, she could end up a widow before midnight. So I told myself, 'I have to get that oil to her, no matter what it takes.' Of course, I had no clue what might happen, but there was only one way to do it, and that was for me to get into the boat tied to the post down by the water and take it to her since it was too far for me to walk around by the head of the bay. The problem was, I didn’t know anything about boats or how to handle one any better than any of you sailormen know about doing laundry. But there was no point in worrying about what I knew and what I didn’t, because I had to get it to her, and the only way to do that was in that boat. So I filled a gallon can because I figured I might as well take enough while I was at it. I went down to the water, untied the boat, placed the oil can inside, climbed in, and off I went. When I was about a quarter of a mile from the shore—"
"Madam," interrupted Captain Bird, "did you row or—or was there a sail to the boat?"
"Ma'am," interrupted Captain Bird, "did you row, or was there a sail on the boat?"
The widow looked at the questioner for a moment. "No," said she, "I didn't row. I forgot to bring the oars from the house; but it didn't matter, for I didn't know how to use them, and if there had been a sail I couldn't have put it up, for I didn't know how to use it, either. I used the rudder to make the boat go. The rudder was the only thing I knew anything about. I'd held a rudder when I was a little girl, and I knew how to work it. So I just took hold of the handle of the rudder and turned it round and round, and that made the boat go ahead, you know, and—"
The widow looked at the person asking the question for a moment. “No,” she said, “I didn’t row. I forgot to grab the oars from the house; but it didn’t matter, because I didn’t know how to use them, and even if there had been a sail, I wouldn’t have known how to put it up, either. I used the rudder to make the boat move. The rudder was the only thing I knew anything about. I had held a rudder when I was a little girl, and I knew how to operate it. So I just grabbed the handle of the rudder and turned it around and around, and that made the boat go forward, you know, and—”
"Madam!" exclaimed Captain Bird, and the other elderly mariners took their pipes from their mouths.
"Ma'am!" exclaimed Captain Bird, and the other older sailors took their pipes out of their mouths.
"Yes, that is the way I did it," continued the widow, briskly. "Big steamships are made to go by a propeller turning round and round at their back ends, and I made the rudder work in the same way, and I got along very well, too, until suddenly, when I was about a quarter of a mile from the shore, a most terrible and awful storm arose. There must have been a typhoon or a cyclone out at sea, for the waves came up the bay bigger than houses, and when they got to the head of the bay they turned around and tried to get out to sea again. So in this way they continually met, and made the most awful and roarin' pilin' up of waves that ever was known.
"Yes, that’s how I did it," the widow said confidently. "Big steamships use a propeller that spins at the back, and I made the rudder function the same way, and it worked really well for me, too, until suddenly, when I was about a quarter mile from shore, a terrible storm blew up. There must've been a typhoon or cyclone out at sea because the waves in the bay grew larger than houses, and when they reached the head of the bay, they turned around and tried to head back out to sea. This way, they kept crashing into each other, creating the most intense and roaring pile-up of waves that anyone has ever seen."
"My little boat was pitched about as if it had been a feather in a breeze, and when the front part of it was cleavin' itself down into the water the hind part was stickin' up until the rudder whizzed around like a patent churn with no milk in it. The thunder began to roar and the lightnin' flashed, and three sea-gulls, so nearly frightened to death that they began to turn up the whites of their eyes, flew down and sat on one of the seats of the boat, forgettin' in that awful moment that man was their nat'ral enemy. I had a couple of biscuits in my pocket, because I had thought I might want a bite in crossing, and I crumpled up one of these and fed the poor creatures. Then I began to wonder what I was goin' to do, for things were gettin' awfuller and awfuller every instant, and the little boat was a-heavin' and a-pitchin' and a-rollin' and h'istin' itself up, first on one end and then on the other, to such an extent that if I hadn't kept tight hold of the rudder-handle I'd slipped off the seat I was sittin' on.
My little boat was tossed around like a feather in the wind, and while the front part was diving into the water, the back was sticking up until the rudder spun around like a churn without any milk in it. Thunder started to rumble and lightning flashed, and three seagulls, so scared they seemed ready to pass out, flew down and perched on one of the seats of the boat, momentarily forgetting that humans were their natural enemy. I had a couple of biscuits in my pocket because I thought I might want a snack while crossing, so I crumbled one up and fed the poor birds. Then I started to wonder what I was going to do, as things were getting worse by the second, and the little boat was heaving and pitching and rolling, lifting itself up first on one end and then on the other, to the point that if I hadn’t held on tight to the rudder handle, I would have slipped off the seat I was sitting on.
"All of a sudden I remembered that oil in the can; but just as I was puttin' my fingers on the cork my conscience smote me. 'Am I goin' to use this oil,' I said to myself, 'and let my sister-in-law's husband be wrecked for want of it?' And then I thought that he wouldn't want it all that night, and perhaps they would buy oil the next day, and so I poured out about a tumblerful of it on the water, and I can just tell you sailormen that you never saw anything act as prompt as that did. In three seconds, or perhaps five, the water all around me, for the distance of a small front yard, was just as flat as a table and as smooth as glass, and so invitin' in appearance that the three gulls jumped out of the boat and began to swim about on it, primin' their feathers and lookin' at themselves in the transparent depths, though I must say that one of them made an awful face as he dipped his bill into the water and tasted kerosene.
"Suddenly, I remembered the oil in the can; but just as I was reaching for the cork, my conscience hit me. ‘Am I really going to use this oil,’ I thought, ‘and let my sister-in-law's husband suffer because of it?’ Then I figured he wouldn’t need it that night, and maybe they’d buy oil the next day. So, I poured out about a tumblerful into the water, and I can tell you, sailors, that you’ve never seen anything work as quickly as that. In just three to five seconds, the water all around me, for the width of a small front yard, was as flat as a table and as smooth as glass. It looked so inviting that three seagulls jumped out of the boat and started swimming around on it, preening their feathers and checking themselves out in the clear depths. Although I must say, one of them made a terrible face when it dipped its bill into the water and tasted kerosene."
"Now I had time to sit quiet in the midst of the placid space I had made for myself, and rest from workin' of the rudder. Truly it was a wonderful and marvelous thing to look at. The waves was roarin' and leapin' up all around me higher than the roof of this house, and sometimes their tops would reach over so that they nearly met and shut out all view of the stormy sky, which seemed as if it was bein' torn to pieces by blazin' lightnin', while the thunder pealed so tremendous that it almost drowned the roar of the waves. Not only above and all around me was everything terrific and fearful, but even under me it was the same, for there was a big crack in the bottom of the boat as wide as my hand, and through this I could see down into the water beneath, and there was—"
"Now I had time to sit quietly in the peaceful space I had created for myself, and take a break from steering the boat. It truly was a wonderful and amazing sight. The waves were roaring and leaping all around me, even higher than the roof of this house, and sometimes their peaks would come together, blocking my view of the stormy sky, which looked like it was being torn apart by flashing lightning, while the thunder rumbled so loudly that it almost drowned out the sound of the waves. Not only above and around me was everything terrifying and fearful, but even beneath me it was the same, because there was a large crack in the bottom of the boat that was as wide as my hand, and through it I could see down into the water below, and there was—"
"Madam!" ejaculated Captain Bird, the hand which, had been holding his pipe a few inches from his mouth now dropping to his knee; and at this motion the hands which held the pipes of the three other mariners dropped to their knees.
"Ma'am!" exclaimed Captain Bird, as the hand that had been holding his pipe just inches from his mouth fell to his knee; seeing this, the hands of the three other sailors who had been holding their pipes also dropped to their knees.
"Of course it sounds strange," continued the widow, "but I know that people can see down into clear water, and the water under me was clear, and the crack was wide enough for me to see through, and down under me was sharks and swordfishes and other horrible water creatures, which I had never seen before, all driven into the bay, I haven't a doubt, by the violence of the storm out at sea. The thought of my bein' upset and fallin' in among those monsters made my very blood run cold, and involuntary-like I began to turn the handle of the rudder, and in a moment I shot into a wall of ragin' sea-water that was towerin' around me. For a second I was fairly blinded and stunned, but I had the cork out of that oil-can in no time, and very soon—you'd scarcely believe it if I told you how soon—I had another placid mill-pond surroundin' of me. I sat there a-pantin' and fannin' with my straw hat, for you'd better believe I was flustered, and then I began to think how long it would take me to make a line of mill-ponds clean across the head of the bay, and how much oil it would need, and whether I had enough. So I sat and calculated that if a tumblerful of oil would make a smooth place about seven yards across, which I should say was the width of the one I was in,—which I calculated by a measure of my eye as to how many breadths of carpet it would take to cover it,—and if the bay was two miles across betwixt our house and my sister-in-law's, and, although I couldn't get the thing down to exact figures, I saw pretty soon that I wouldn't have oil enough to make a level cuttin' through all those mountainous billows, and besides, even if I had enough to take me across, what would be the good of goin' if there wasn't any oil left to fill my sister-in-law's lamp?
"Of course it sounds strange," the widow continued, "but I know people can see into clear water, and the water beneath me was clear, and the crack was wide enough for me to see through. Below me were sharks and swordfish and other terrifying sea creatures that I had never seen before, all driven into the bay, I'm sure, by the storm's violence out at sea. The thought of capsizing and falling in among those monsters made my blood run cold, and without thinking, I started to turn the rudder handle, and in a moment, I was thrown into a wall of raging seawater that towered around me. For a second, I was completely blinded and stunned, but I quickly got the cork out of that oil can, and soon—you'd hardly believe how soon—I had another calm pond surrounding me. I sat there panting and fanning myself with my straw hat, because I was definitely flustered. Then I began to think about how long it would take me to create a line of ponds all the way across the head of the bay, how much oil I'd need, and whether I had enough. I worked it out that if a tumblerful of oil would create a smooth area about seven yards wide, which seemed to match the width of the one I was in—a measurement I guessed by how many rug widths it would take to cover it—and since the bay was two miles wide between our house and my sister-in-law’s, although I couldn't get it down to exact figures, I soon realized I wouldn't have enough oil to cut through all those towering waves. Plus, even if I had enough to get across, what would be the point if there wasn't any oil left to fill my sister-in-law's lamp?"
"While I was thinkin' and calculatin' a perfectly dreadful thing happened, which made me think if I didn't get out of this pretty soon I'd find myself in a mighty risky predicament. The oil-can, which I had forgotten to put the cork in, toppled over, and before I could grab it every drop of the oil ran into the hind part of the boat, where it was soaked up by a lot of dry dust that was there. No wonder my heart sank when I saw this. Glancin' wildly around me, as people will do when they are scared, I saw the smooth place I was in gettin' smaller and smaller, for the kerosene was evaporating as it will do even off woolen clothes if you give it time enough. The first pond I had come out of seemed to be covered up, and the great, towerin', throbbin' precipice of sea-water was a-closin' around me.
"While I was thinking and calculating, something really dreadful happened that made me realize if I didn’t get out of there soon, I’d be in a serious situation. The oil can, which I had forgotten to cork, tipped over, and before I could grab it, every drop of oil poured into the back of the boat, where it was absorbed by a bunch of dry dust that was lying around. No wonder my heart sank when I saw this. Glancing around, as people do when they're scared, I noticed the smooth spot I was in getting smaller and smaller, because the kerosene was evaporating just like it does from woolen clothes if you give it enough time. The first pond I had come out of seemed to disappear, and the huge, towering, throbbing wall of seawater was closing in around me."
"Castin' down my eyes in despair, I happened to look through the crack in the bottom of the boat, and oh, what a blessed relief it was! for down there everything was smooth and still, and I could see the sand on the bottom, as level and hard, no doubt, as it was on the beach. Suddenly the thought struck me that that bottom would give me the only chance I had of gettin' out of the frightful fix I was in. If I could fill that oil-can with air, and then puttin' it under my arm and takin' a long breath if I could drop down on that smooth bottom, I might run along toward shore, as far as I could, and then, when I felt my breath was givin' out, I could take a pull at the oil-can and take another run, and then take another pull and another run, and perhaps the can would hold air enough for me until I got near enough to shore to wade to dry land. To be sure, the sharks and other monsters were down there, but then they must have been awfully frightened, and perhaps they might not remember that man was their nat'ral enemy. Anyway, I thought it would be better to try the smooth water passage down there than stay and be swallowed up by the ragin' waves on top.
"Lowering my eyes in despair, I happened to look through the crack at the bottom of the boat, and oh, what a relief it was! Down there everything was calm and still, and I could see the sand below, as flat and solid as it was on the beach. Suddenly, it struck me that the bottom was my only chance of getting out of the terrifying situation I was in. If I could fill that oil can with air, and then put it under my arm and take a deep breath, I could drop down to that smooth bottom, swim toward shore as far as I could, and then when I felt like I was running out of breath, I could take a breath from the oil can and swim again, and then take another breath and swim some more. Maybe the can would hold enough air for me until I got close enough to shore to wade to dry land. Sure, there were sharks and other dangers down there, but they must have been pretty scared too, and maybe they wouldn’t remember that humans are their natural enemy. Either way, I thought it would be better to try the calm water below than to be swallowed up by the raging waves above."
"So I blew the can full of air and corked it, and then I tore up some of the boards from the bottom of the boat so as to make a hole big enough for me to get through,—and you sailormen needn't wriggle so when I say that, for you all know a divin'-bell hasn't any bottom at all and the water never comes in,—and so when I got the hole big enough I took the oil-can under my arm, and was just about to slip down through it when I saw an awful turtle a-walkin' through the sand at the bottom. Now, I might trust sharks and swordfishes and sea-serpents to be frightened and forget about their nat'ral enemies, but I never could trust a gray turtle as big as a cart, with a black neck a yard long, with yellow bags to its jaws, to forget anything or to remember anything. I'd as lieve get into a bathtub with a live crab as to go down there. It wasn't of no use even so much as thinkin' of it, so I gave up that plan and didn't once look through that hole again."
"So I blew air into the can and sealed it, then I ripped up some boards from the bottom of the boat to create a hole big enough for me to fit through—and you sailors don’t need to squirm when I say that, because you all know a diving bell doesn’t have a bottom at all and water never gets in—and when I made the hole large enough, I tucked the oil can under my arm and was just about to climb down through it when I spotted a huge turtle walking through the sand at the bottom. Now, I might trust sharks and swordfish and sea serpents to be scared and forget about their natural enemies, but I could never trust a gray turtle the size of a cart, with a black neck a yard long and yellow sacks by its jaws, to forget anything or remember anything. I’d rather get into a bathtub with a live crab than go down there. There was no point even thinking about it, so I abandoned that plan and didn’t look through that hole again."
"And what did you do, madam?" asked Captain Bird, who was regarding her with a face of stone.
"And what did you do, ma'am?" asked Captain Bird, looking at her with a stone-cold expression.
"I used electricity," she said "Now don't start as if you had a shock of it. That's what I used. When I was younger than I was then, and sometimes visited friends in the city, we often amused ourselves by rubbing our feet on the carpet until we got ourselves so full of electricity that we could put up our fingers and light the gas. So I said to myself that if I could get full of electricity for the purpose of lightin' the gas I could get full of it for other purposes, and so, without losin' a moment, I set to work. I stood up on one of the seats, which was dry, and rubbed the bottoms of my shoes backward and forward on it with such violence and swiftness that they pretty soon got warm and I began fillin' with electricity, and when I was fully charged with it from my toes to the top of my head, I just sprang into the water and swam ashore. Of course I couldn't sink, bein' full of electricity."
"I used electricity," she said. "Now don't act surprised like you just got shocked. That's what I used. When I was younger, I used to visit friends in the city, and we often entertained ourselves by rubbing our feet on the carpet until we had so much electricity that we could lift our fingers and light the gas. So I thought, if I could charge myself up with electricity to light the gas, I could use it for other things, too. Without wasting any time, I got to work. I stood on one of the dry seats and rubbed the bottoms of my shoes back and forth on it so vigorously that they quickly warmed up, and I started filling up with electricity. Once I was fully charged from my toes to the top of my head, I jumped into the water and swam ashore. Of course, I couldn’t sink, being full of electricity."
Captain Bird heaved a long sigh and rose to his feet, whereupon the other mariners rose to their feet. "Madam," said Captain Bird, "what's to pay for the supper and—the rest of the entertainment?"
Captain Bird let out a long sigh and stood up, prompting the other sailors to stand as well. "Ma'am," said Captain Bird, "what do we owe for dinner and—the rest of the entertainment?"
"The supper is twenty-five cents apiece," said the Widow Ducket, "and everything else is free, gratis."
"The dinner is twenty-five cents each," said the Widow Ducket, "and everything else is free."
Whereupon each mariner put his hand into his trousers pocket, pulled out a silver quarter, and handed it to the widow. Then, with four solemn "Good evenin's," they went out to the front gate.
Whereupon each sailor reached into his pants pocket, took out a silver quarter, and gave it to the widow. Then, with four serious "Good evenings," they walked out to the front gate.
"Cast off, Captain Jenkinson," said Captain Bird, "and you, Captain Burress, clew him up for'ard. You can stay in the bow, Captain Sanderson, and take the sheet-lines. I'll go aft."
"Set sail, Captain Jenkinson," said Captain Bird, "and you, Captain Burress, pull in the sails up front. You can stay at the bow, Captain Sanderson, and handle the sheets. I'll head to the back."
All being ready, each of the elderly mariners clambered over a wheel, and having seated themselves, they prepared to lay their course for Cuppertown.
All set, each of the older sailors climbed over a wheel, and after sitting down, they got ready to head for Cuppertown.
But just as they were about to start, Captain Jenkinson asked that they lay to a bit, and clambering down over his wheel, he reëntered the front gate and went up to the door of the house, where the widow and Dorcas were still standing.
But just as they were about to start, Captain Jenkinson requested that they pause for a moment. Climbing down from his wheel, he went back through the front gate and approached the door of the house, where the widow and Dorcas were still standing.
"Madam," said he, "I just came back to ask what became of your brother-in-law through his wife's not bein' able to put no light in the window?"
"Ma'am," he said, "I just came back to ask what happened to your brother-in-law since his wife couldn't get any light in the window?"
"The storm drove him ashore on our side of the bay," said she, "and the next mornin' he came up to our house, and I told him all that had happened to me. And when he took our boat and went home and told that story to his wife, she just packed up and went out West, and got divorced from him. And it served him right, too."
"The storm washed him up on our side of the bay," she said, "and the next morning he came to our house, and I told him everything that happened to me. When he took our boat and went home and shared that story with his wife, she just packed her things and headed out West, and divorced him. And he deserved it, too."
"Thank you, ma'am," said Captain Jenkinson, and going out of the gate, he clambered up over the wheel, and the wagon cleared for Cuppertown.
"Thank you, ma'am," said Captain Jenkinson, and as he stepped out of the gate, he climbed up over the wheel, and the wagon headed for Cuppertown.
When the elderly mariners were gone, the Widow Ducket, still standing in the door, turned to Dorcas.
When the old sailors were gone, the Widow Ducket, still standing in the doorway, turned to Dorcas.
"Think of it!" she said. "To tell all that to me, in my own house! And after I had opened my one jar of brandied peaches, that I'd been keepin' for special company!"
"Can you believe it?" she said. "To share all that with me, in my own home! And after I had finally opened my jar of brandied peaches, which I had been saving for special guests!"
"In your own house!" ejaculated Dorcas. "And not one of them brandied peaches left!"
"In your own house!" exclaimed Dorcas. "And not a single one of those brandied peaches left!"
The widow jingled the four quarters in her hand before she slipped them into her pocket.
The widow jingled the four quarters in her hand before she tucked them into her pocket.
"Anyway, Dorcas," she remarked, "I think we can now say we are square with all the world, and so let's go in and wash the dishes."
"Anyway, Dorcas," she said, "I think we can now say we’re even with everyone, so let’s go inside and wash the dishes."
"Yes," said Dorcas, "we're square."
"Yes," said Dorcas, "we're good."
THE COUNT AND THE WEDDING GUEST
By O. HENRY
Copyright 1907 by McClure, Phillips & Co.
Copyright 1907 by McClure, Phillips & Co.
One evening when Andy Donovan went to dinner at his Second Avenue boarding-house, Mrs. Scott introduced him to a new boarder, a young lady, Miss Conway. Miss Conway was small and unobtrusive. She wore a plain, snuffy-brown dress, and bestowed her interest, which seemed languid, upon her plate. She lifted her diffident eyelids and shot one perspicuous, judicial glance at Mr. Donovan, politely murmured his name, and returned to her mutton. Mr. Donovan bowed with the grace and beaming smile that were rapidly winning for him social, business and political advancement, and erased the snuffy-brown one from the tablets of his consideration.
One evening when Andy Donovan went to dinner at his Second Avenue boarding house, Mrs. Scott introduced him to a new boarder, a young woman, Miss Conway. Miss Conway was small and unassuming. She wore a plain, dull brown dress and seemed to lazily focus her attention on her plate. She lifted her shy eyelids and cast one clear, assessing glance at Mr. Donovan, politely mentioned his name, and went back to her mutton. Mr. Donovan bowed with the charm and bright smile that were quickly bringing him social, business, and political success, and he dismissed the dull brown figure from his thoughts.
Two weeks later Andy was sitting on the front steps enjoying his cigar. There was a soft rustle behind and above him, and Andy turned his head—and had his head turned.
Two weeks later, Andy was sitting on the front steps, enjoying his cigar. There was a gentle rustling behind and above him, and Andy turned his head—and had his head turned.
Just coming out the door was Miss Conway. She wore a night-black dress of crêpe de—crêpe de—oh, this thin black goods. Her hat was black, and from it drooped and fluttered an ebon veil, filmy as a spider's web. She stood on the top step and drew on black silk gloves. Not a speck of white or a spot of color about her dress anywhere. Her rich golden hair was drawn, with scarcely a ripple, into a shining, smooth knot low on her neck. Her face was plain rather than pretty, but it was now illuminated and made almost beautiful by her large gray eyes that gazed above the houses across the street into the sky with an expression of the most appealing sadness and melancholy.
Just as she stepped out the door, Miss Conway appeared. She wore a pitch-black dress of crêpe de—crêpe de—oh, this delicate black fabric. Her hat was black, and from it hung a dark veil, as sheer as a spider's web. She stood on the top step, pulling on black silk gloves. There wasn’t a hint of white or any color on her dress. Her rich golden hair was pulled back, with barely a wave, into a sleek, shiny knot low at the back of her neck. Her face was plain rather than pretty, but it was now lit up and almost beautiful thanks to her large gray eyes that looked over the houses across the street into the sky, carrying an expression of deep sadness and melancholy.
Gather the idea, girls—all black, you know, with the preference for crêpe de—oh, crêpe de Chine—that's it. All black, and that sad, faraway look, and the hair shining under the black veil (you have to be a blonde, of course), and try to look as if, although your young life had been blighted just as it was about to give a hop-skip-and-a-jump over the threshold of life, a walk in the park might do you good, and be sure to happen out the door at the right moment, and—oh, it'll fetch 'em every time. But it's fierce, now, how cynical I am, ain't it?—to talk about mourning costumes this way.
Gather the idea, girls—all in black, you know, preferably crêpe de—oh, crêpe de Chine—that's it. All black, with that sad, distant look, and hair shining under the black veil (you have to be a blonde, of course), and try to look like, even though your young life has been cut short just as it was about to take off, a walk in the park might do you good. Make sure to step out the door at the right moment, and—oh, it'll work every time. But it's pretty harsh how cynical I am, isn't it?—talking about mourning outfits like this.
Mr. Donovan suddenly reinscribed Miss Conway upon the tablets of his consideration. He threw away the remaining inch-and-a-quarter of his cigar, that would have been good for eight minutes yet, and quickly shifted his center of gravity to his low-cut patent leathers.
Mr. Donovan suddenly put Miss Conway back on his mind. He tossed away the last inch-and-a-quarter of his cigar, which still had about eight minutes left, and quickly adjusted his stance in his low-cut patent leather shoes.
"It's a fine, clear evening, Miss Conway," he said; and if the Weather Bureau could have heard the confident emphasis of his tones it would have hoisted the square white signal and nailed it to the mast.
"It's a nice, clear evening, Miss Conway," he said; and if the Weather Bureau could have heard the confident way he spoke, it would have raised the square white signal and nailed it to the mast.
"To them that has the heart to enjoy it, it is, Mr. Donovan," said Miss Conway, with a sigh.
"To those who have the heart to enjoy it, it is, Mr. Donovan," said Miss Conway with a sigh.
Mr. Donovan in his heart cursed fair weather. Heartless weather! It should hail and blow and snow to be consonant with the mood of Miss Conway.
Mr. Donovan secretly hated nice weather. Heartless weather! It should hail, blow, and snow to match Miss Conway's mood.
"I hope none of your relatives—I hope you haven't sustained a loss?" ventured Mr. Donovan.
"I hope none of your relatives—I hope you haven't lost anyone?" Mr. Donovan said cautiously.
"Death has claimed," said Miss Conway, hesitating—"not a relative, but one who—but I will not intrude my grief upon you, Mr. Donovan."
"Death has claimed," said Miss Conway, hesitating, "not a family member, but someone who—but I won't burden you with my sadness, Mr. Donovan."
"Intrude?" protested Mr. Donovan. "Why, say, Miss Conway, I'd be delighted, that is, I'd be sorry—I mean I'm sure nobody could sympathize with you truer than I would."
"Intrude?" protested Mr. Donovan. "Well, Miss Conway, I’d be glad to, I mean I’d be sorry—I mean I'm sure nobody could empathize with you more than I would."
Miss Conway smiled a little smile. And oh, it was sadder than her expression in repose.
Miss Conway smiled faintly. And oh, it was sadder than her usual expression.
"'Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and they give you the laugh,'" she quoted.
"'Laugh, and the world laughs with you; cry, and they laugh at you,'" she quoted.
"I have learned that, Mr. Donovan. I have no friends or acquaintances in this city. But you have been kind to me. I appreciate it highly."
"I've learned that, Mr. Donovan. I don't have any friends or acquaintances in this city. But you've been really kind to me. I truly appreciate it."
He had passed her the pepper twice at the table.
He had passed her the pepper twice at the table.
"It's tough to be alone in New York—that's a cinch," said Mr. Donovan. "But, say—whenever this little old town does loosen up and get friendly it goes the limit. Say you took a little stroll in the park, Miss Conway—don't you think it might chase away some of your mullygrubs? And if you'd allow me—"
"It's hard to be alone in New York—that's for sure," said Mr. Donovan. "But, you know—whenever this little town does lighten up and get friendly, it really goes all out. If you took a stroll in the park, Miss Conway—don't you think it might lift some of your spirits? And if you’d let me—"
"Thanks, Mr. Donovan. I'd be pleased to accept of your escort if you think the company of one whose heart is filled with gloom could be anyways agreeable to you."
"Thanks, Mr. Donovan. I’d be happy to accept your offer of escort if you think that being with someone whose heart is heavy would be at all enjoyable for you."
Through the open gates of the iron-railed, old, downtown park, where the elect once took the air, they strolled and found a quiet bench.
Through the open gates of the old, iron-railed downtown park, where the elite once enjoyed the fresh air, they walked and discovered a quiet bench.
There is this difference between the grief of youth and that of old age: youth's burden is lightened by as much of it as another shares; old age may give and give, but the sorrow remains the same.
There’s a difference between the grief of youth and that of old age: youth’s burden is eased by how much of it is shared with others; old age can give and give, but the sorrow stays the same.
"He was my fiancé," confided Miss Conway, at the end of an hour. "We were going to be married next spring. I don't want you to think that I am stringing you, Mr. Donovan, but he was a real Count. He had an estate and a castle in Italy. Count Fernando Mazzini was his name. I never saw the beat of him for elegance. Papa objected, of course, and once we eloped, but papa overtook us, and took us back. I thought sure papa and Fernando would fight a duel. Papa has a livery business—in P'kipsee, you know.
"He was my fiancé," Miss Conway shared after about an hour. "We were supposed to get married next spring. I don't want you to think I'm leading you on, Mr. Donovan, but he was an actual Count. He owned an estate and a castle in Italy. His name was Count Fernando Mazzini. I’ve never seen anyone as elegant as him. My dad didn't approve, of course, and we once attempted to elope, but my dad caught us and brought us back. I was certain my dad and Fernando would end up in a duel. My dad runs a livery business—in P'kipsee, you know."
"Finally, papa came around all right, and said we might be married next spring. Fernando showed him proofs of his title and wealth, and then went over to Italy to get the castle fixed up for us. Papa's very proud, and when Fernando wanted to give me several thousand dollars for my trousseau he called him down something awful. He wouldn't even let me take a ring or any presents from him. And when Fernando sailed I came to the city and got a position as cashier in a candy store.
"Finally, Dad came around and said we could get married next spring. Fernando showed him proof of his title and wealth, and then he went over to Italy to renovate the castle for us. Dad's really proud, and when Fernando wanted to give me several thousand dollars for my wedding clothes, he totally flipped out. He wouldn't even let me accept a ring or any gifts from him. And when Fernando set sail, I came to the city and got a job as a cashier in a candy store."
"Three days ago I got a letter from Italy, forwarded from P'kipsee, saying that Fernando had been killed in a gondola accident.
"Three days ago, I received a letter from Italy, forwarded from P'kipsee, saying that Fernando had died in a gondola accident."
"That is why I am in mourning. My heart, Mr. Donovan, will remain forever in his grave. I guess I am poor company, Mr. Donovan, but I can not take any interest in no one. I should not care to keep you from gaiety and your friends who can smile and entertain you. Perhaps you would prefer to walk back to the house?"
"That’s why I’m in mourning. My heart, Mr. Donovan, will always be in his grave. I know I’m not great company, Mr. Donovan, but I just can’t seem to care about anyone. I wouldn’t want to stop you from enjoying yourself and spending time with friends who can make you smile and have fun. Maybe you’d rather walk back to the house?"
Now, girls, if you want to observe a young man hustle out after a pick and shovel, just tell him that your heart is in some other fellow's grave. Young men are grave-robbers by nature. Ask any widow. Something must be done to restore that missing organ to weeping girls in crêpe de Chine. Dead men certainly got the worse of it from all sides.
Now, girls, if you want to see a young man rush out after a pick and shovel, just tell him that your heart belongs to some other guy. Young men are naturally like grave-robbers. Just ask any widow. Something needs to be done to bring that missing heart back to crying girls in crêpe de Chine. Dead men definitely got the short end of the stick from all sides.
"I'm awful sorry," said Mr. Donovan gently. "No, we won't walk back to the house just yet. And don't say you haven't no friends in this city, Miss Conway. I'm awful sorry, and I want you to believe I'm your friend, and that I'm awful sorry."
"I'm really sorry," Mr. Donovan said softly. "No, we won't head back to the house just yet. And don't say you don't have any friends in this city, Miss Conway. I'm really sorry, and I want you to believe I'm your friend, and that I'm truly sorry."
"I've got his picture here in my locket," said Miss Conway, after wiping her eyes with her handkerchief. "I never showed it to anybody, but I will to you, Mr. Donovan, because I believe you to be a true friend."
"I have his picture in my locket," said Miss Conway, after drying her tears with her handkerchief. "I've never shown it to anyone, but I will show it to you, Mr. Donovan, because I consider you a true friend."
Mr. Donovan gazed long and with much interest at the photograph in the locket that Miss Conway opened for him. The face of Count Mazzini was one to command interest. It was a smooth, intelligent, bright, almost a handsome face—the face of a strong, cheerful man who might well be a leader among his fellows.
Mr. Donovan stared intently at the photo in the locket that Miss Conway showed him. The face of Count Mazzini was definitely captivating. It was a smooth, intelligent, bright, and almost handsome face—the face of a strong, cheerful man who could easily be a leader among his peers.
"I have a larger one, framed, in my room," said Miss Conway. "When we return I will show you that. They are all I have to remind me of Fernando. But he ever will be present in my heart, that's a sure thing."
"I have a bigger one, framed, in my room," said Miss Conway. "When we get back, I'll show it to you. They're all I've got to remember Fernando. But he'll always be in my heart, that's for sure."
A subtle task confronted Mr. Donovan—that of supplanting the unfortunate Count in the heart of Miss Conway. This his admiration for her determined him to do. But the magnitude of the undertaking did not seem to weigh upon his spirits. The sympathetic but cheerful friend was the role he essayed, and he played it so successfully that the next half-hour found them conversing pensively across two plates of ice-cream, though yet there was no diminution of the sadness in Miss Conway's large gray eyes.
A subtle challenge faced Mr. Donovan—replacing the unfortunate Count in Miss Conway's heart. His admiration for her drove him to pursue this. However, the scale of the task didn’t seem to dampen his spirits. He took on the role of a sympathetic yet cheerful friend and played it so well that half an hour later, they found themselves having a thoughtful conversation over two plates of ice cream, even though the sadness in Miss Conway's large gray eyes remained unchanged.
Before they parted in the hall that evening she ran upstairs and brought down the framed photograph wrapped lovingly in a white silk scarf. Mr. Donovan surveyed it with inscrutable eyes.
Before they said goodbye in the hall that evening, she went upstairs and brought down the framed photograph wrapped carefully in a white silk scarf. Mr. Donovan looked at it with unreadable eyes.
"He gave me this the night he left for Italy," said Miss Conway. "I had one for the locket made from this."
"He gave me this the night he left for Italy," said Miss Conway. "I had a locket made from this."
"A fine-looking man," said Mr. Donovan heartily. "How would it suit you, Miss Conway, to give me the pleasure of your company to Coney next Sunday afternoon?"
"A handsome guy," said Mr. Donovan enthusiastically. "How would you feel about joining me for a trip to Coney next Sunday afternoon, Miss Conway?"
A month later they announced their engagement to Mrs. Scott and the other boarders. Miss Conway continued to wear black.
A month later, they announced their engagement to Mrs. Scott and the other tenants. Miss Conway kept wearing black.
A week after the announcement the two sat on the same bench in the downtown park, while the fluttering leaves of the trees made a dim kinetoscopic picture of them in the moonlight. But Donovan had worn a look of abstracted gloom all day. He was so silent to-night that love's lips could not keep back any longer the questions that love's heart propounded.
A week after the announcement, the two were sitting on the same bench in the downtown park, while the fluttering leaves of the trees created a hazy, moving image of them in the moonlight. But Donovan had worn a look of distracted sadness all day. He was so quiet tonight that love's lips could no longer hold back the questions that love's heart wanted to ask.
"What's the matter, Andy, you are so solemn and grouchy to-night?"
"What's wrong, Andy? You seem really serious and cranky tonight."
"Nothing, Maggie."
"Nothing, Maggie."
"I know better. Can't I tell? You never acted this way before. What is it?"
"I know better. Can't I tell? You’ve never acted like this before. What’s going on?"
"It's nothing much, Maggie."
"It's not a big deal, Maggie."
"Yes it is, and I want to know. I'll bet it's some other girl you are thinking about. All right. Why don't you go and get her if you want her? Take your arm away, if you please."
"Yeah, it is, and I want to know. I bet it’s another girl you’re thinking about. Fine. Why don’t you go get her if you want? Please take your arm away."
"I'll tell you then," said Andy wisely; "but I guess you won't understand it exactly. You've heard of Mike Sullivan, haven't you? 'Big Mike' Sullivan, everybody calls him."
"I'll tell you then," said Andy wisely; "but I guess you won't understand it exactly. You've heard of Mike Sullivan, right? Everyone calls him 'Big Mike' Sullivan."
"No, I haven't," said Maggie. "And I don't want to, if he makes you act like this. Who is he?"
"No, I haven't," said Maggie. "And I don't want to if he makes you act like this. Who is he?"
"He's the biggest man in New York," said Andy, almost reverently. "He can do about anything he wants to with Tammany or any other old thing in the political line. He's a mile high and as broad as East River. You say anything against Big Mike and you'll have a million men on your collarbone in about two seconds. Why, he made a visit over to the old country awhile back, and the kings took to their holes like rabbits.
"He's the most powerful guy in New York," Andy said, almost with awe. "He can do pretty much whatever he wants with Tammany or anything else in politics. He's towering and as wide as the East River. Say anything negative about Big Mike, and you'll have a million people on your back in no time. I mean, he went over to the old country not long ago, and the kings scattered like rabbits."
"Well, Big Mike's a friend of mine. I ain't more than deuce-high in the district as far as influence goes, but Mike's as good a friend to a little man, or a poor man, as he is to a big one. I met him to-day on the Bowery, and what do you think he does? Comes up and shakes hands. 'Andy,' says he, 'I've been keeping cases on you. You've been putting in some good licks over on your side of the street, and I'm proud of you. What'll you take to drink?' He takes a cigar, and I take a highball. I told him I was going to get married in two weeks. 'Andy,' says he, 'send me an invitation, so I'll keep in mind of it, and I'll come to the wedding.' That's what Big Mike says to me; and he always does what he says.
"Well, Big Mike's a friend of mine. I might not have much pull in the district, but Mike is as good a friend to a small guy or a poor guy as he is to a rich one. I ran into him today on the Bowery, and guess what he did? He came up and shook my hand. 'Andy,' he says, 'I've been keeping an eye on you. You've been making some solid moves on your side of the street, and I'm proud of you. What do you want to drink?' He had a cigar, and I went for a highball. I told him I'm getting married in two weeks. 'Andy,' he says, 'send me an invitation to keep it in mind, and I'll definitely come to the wedding.' That's what Big Mike tells me; and he always follows through on his word."
"You don't understand it, Maggie, but I'd have one of my hands cut off to have Big Mike Sullivan at our wedding. It would be the proudest day of my life. When he goes to a man's wedding there's a guy being married that's made for life. Now, that's why I've maybe been looking sore to-night."
"You don't get it, Maggie, but I would seriously give up a hand to have Big Mike Sullivan at our wedding. It would be the proudest day of my life. When he shows up at a wedding, the groom is set for life. That’s why I might have been looking a bit down tonight."
"Why don't you invite him, then, if he's so much to the mustard?" said Maggie lightly.
"Why don't you invite him, then, if he's that important?" said Maggie casually.
"There's a reason why I can't," said Andy sadly. "There's a reason why he mustn't be there. Don't ask me what it is, for I can't tell you."
"There's a reason why I can't," Andy said sadly. "There's a reason why he mustn't be there. Don't ask me what it is, because I can't tell you."
"Oh, I don't care," said Maggie. "It's something about politics, of course. But it's no reason why you can't smile at me."
"Oh, I don't care," Maggie said. "It's something about politics, of course. But that's no reason why you can't smile at me."
"Maggie," said Andy presently, "do you think as much of me as you did of your—as you did of the Count Mazzini?"
"Maggie," Andy said after a moment, "do you think of me as highly as you did your— as you did the Count Mazzini?"
He waited a long time, but Maggie did not reply. And then, suddenly she leaned against his shoulder and began to cry—to cry and shake with sobs, holding his arm tightly and wetting the crêpe de Chine with tears.
He waited for a long time, but Maggie didn't respond. And then, unexpectedly, she leaned against his shoulder and started to cry—crying and shaking with sobs, gripping his arm tightly and soaking the crêpe de Chine with her tears.
"There, there, there!" soothed Andy, putting aside his own trouble. "And what is it now?"
"There, there, there!" comforted Andy, putting aside his own issues. "And what's going on now?"
"Andy," sobbed Maggie, "I've lied to you and you'll never marry me, or love me any more. But I feel that I've got to tell. Andy, there never was so much as the little finger of a count. I never had a beau in my life. But all the other girls had, and they talked about 'em, and that seemed to make the fellows like 'em more. And, Andy, I look swell in black—you know I do. So I went out to a photograph store and bought that picture, and had a little one made for my locket, and made up all that story about the Count and about his being killed, so I could wear black. And nobody can love a liar and you'll shake me, Andy, and I'll die for shame. Oh, there never was anybody I liked but you—and that's all."
"Andy," Maggie cried, "I've lied to you and now you'll never want to marry me or love me again. But I have to come clean. Andy, there was never even a hint of a count. I've never had a boyfriend in my life. But all the other girls did, and they talked about them, and that seemed to make the guys like them more. And, Andy, I look great in black—you know I do. So I went to a photo shop and bought that picture, had a smaller one made for my locket, and made up the whole story about the count and how he was killed, just so I could wear black. No one can love a liar, and you're going to leave me, Andy, and I'll die of shame. Oh, there has never been anyone I liked but you—and that's the truth."
But instead of being pushed away she found Andy's arm folding her closely. She looked up and saw his face cleared and smiling.
But instead of being pushed away, she felt Andy's arm wrap around her tightly. She looked up and saw his face clear and smiling.
"Could you—could you forgive me, Andy?"
"Can you—can you forgive me, Andy?"
"Sure," said Andy. "It's all right about that. Back to the cemetery for the Count. You've straightened everything out, Maggie. I was in hopes you would before the wedding-day. Bully girl!"
"Sure," said Andy. "It's all good about that. Back to the cemetery for the Count. You've sorted everything out, Maggie. I was hoping you would before the wedding day. Awesome job!"
"Andy," said Maggie with a somewhat shy smile, after she had been thoroughly assured of forgiveness, "did you believe all that story about the Count?"
"Andy," Maggie said with a bit of a shy smile, after she had been completely reassured of forgiveness, "did you really believe all that story about the Count?"
"Well, not to any large extent," said Andy, reaching for his cigar-case; "because it's Big Mike Sullivan's picture you've got in that locket of yours."
"Well, not by a long shot," said Andy, reaching for his cigar case. "Because it's Big Mike Sullivan's picture you’ve got in that locket of yours."
MISS TOOKER'S WEDDING GIFT
By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS
Copyright 1909 by J. B. Lippincott Company.
Copyright 1909 by J. B. Lippincott Company.
I
Van Buren tossed his gloves impatiently on the table, removed his overcoat, and sat down before the fire. He was apparently deeply concerned about something, for when Niki, his Japanese valet, entered the room and placed the whisky and soda on the little table at his side, Van Buren paid no more attention to him than he would to a vagrant sunmote that crossed his path. Long and steadily he gazed into the broad fireplace, watching the dancing flames at play, pausing only to light his pipe, upon which he pulled fiercely. Finally he spoke, leaning forward and to all intents and purposes addressing the andirons.
Van Buren tossed his gloves impatiently onto the table, took off his overcoat, and sat down by the fire. He seemed really troubled about something because when Niki, his Japanese valet, came into the room and set down the whisky and soda on the little table beside him, Van Buren ignored him completely, like he would a piece of dust floating by. He stared long and hard into the wide fireplace, watching the flames dance, stopping only to light his pipe, which he smoked furiously. Finally, he spoke, leaning forward as if he were talking to the andirons.
"Confound the money!" he said impatiently. "I wish to thunder the Governor had left it to some orphan asylum or to found a Chair in Choctaw at some New England university, instead of to me—then I might have made something of myself. Here am I twenty-seven years old and all the fame I ever got came from leading cotillions at Newport, and my sole contribution to the common weal has consisted of the fines I've paid into the public treasury for exceeding the speed limit. Life! I've seen a lot of it—haven't I, in this empty social shell I've been born into!"
"Forget the money!" he said, frustrated. "I wish to hell the Governor had left it to an orphanage or set up a Chair in Choctaw at some New England university instead of me—then I might have actually done something with my life. Here I am, twenty-seven years old, and all the recognition I've ever gotten was from leading dances at Newport, and my only contribution to society has been the fines I've paid to the public treasury for speeding. Life! I've experienced so much of it—haven't I, in this empty social shell I was born into!"
He paused for a moment and poured a stiff four fingers of whisky into a glass at his side.
He paused for a moment and poured a generous four fingers of whiskey into a glass next to him.
"Bah!" he shuddered as the odor of it greeted his nostrils. "You're a poor kind of fuel for such an engine as I might have been if I'd been started on the right track. By Jove! Ethel is right. What good am I? What have I ever done to make myself worth while or to show that I have any character in me that is a jot better than that of any of the rest of our poor stenciled, gold-plated society."
"Yuck!" he recoiled as the smell hit him. "You’re not much of a fuel for the kind of engine I could’ve been if I’d been set on the right path. Wow! Ethel is right. What’s the point of me? What have I done to prove I’m worth anything or to show that I have any character that’s even a little better than anyone else in our shallow, flashy society."
He looked at the glass and made a wry face.
He looked at the glass and made a funny face.
"I'll cut you out anyhow," he said, pushing the liquor away from him. "That's something. Niki!" he called.
"I'll cut you out anyway," he said, pushing the drink away from him. "That's something. Niki!" he called.
The inscrutable Niki obeyed the summons on the word.
The mysterious Niki responded to the call immediately.
"Take that stuff away and hereafter don't bring it unless I call for it," said Van Buren. "Any letters?"
"Take that stuff away and from now on, don’t bring it unless I ask for it," said Van Buren. "Any letters?"
"One," said Niki. "A messenger brought him at eight o'clock. I get it."
"One," Niki said. "A messenger delivered it at eight o'clock. I got it."
Niki went to the escritoire and picked up the little square of blue envelope lying thereon and handed it to Van Buren.
Niki went to the desk and picked up the small blue envelope sitting there and handed it to Van Buren.
"Thank you, Niki. You may go now—I can get along without you until—well, say noon to-morrow. Good night."
"Thank you, Niki. You can leave now—I can manage without you until—let's say noon tomorrow. Good night."
"Good night," said Niki, and withdrew noiselessly.
"Good night," Niki said, and quietly left.
"Humph!" ejaculated Van Buren. "Even he is worth more to the world than I am. He does something, even if it is only for me, which is more than I can do. I don't seem to be able to do anything even for myself."
"Humph!" exclaimed Van Buren. "Even he is more valuable to the world than I am. He actually does something, even if it's just for me, which is more than I can manage. I can't seem to do anything for myself."
With a sigh of discontent, Van Buren poked the fire for moment and then settled himself in the armchair, holding the letter before his eyes as he did so.
With a sigh of frustration, Van Buren poked the fire for a moment and then settled into the armchair, holding the letter in front of his eyes as he did so.
"From Ethel," he said. "Probably my death-warrant. Oh, well—why not? If she won't have me, she won't, that's all. Only one more drop of bitters in my cocktail. I may as well read it anyhow. It's like a cold plunge, and I hate to take it, but—here goes."
"From Ethel," he said. "Probably my death sentence. Oh, well—why not? If she doesn't want me, she doesn't, that's all. Just one more splash of bitters in my drink. I might as well read it anyway. It's like taking a cold plunge, and I hate doing it, but—here goes."
He tore open the envelope and, extracting the note, read it:
He ripped open the envelope and, taking out the note, read it:
Dear Harry—I have been thinking things over since you left me this afternoon and I have changed my mind. [Van Buren's eyes lighted with hope.] I do care for you, but I can not see much happiness ahead for either of us unless one or the other of us changes radically. It may be my fault, but I can not forget that if I married a man I should want always to be proud of him, and ambitious for his success in the world. If I were not ambitious, I could be proud of you just as you are, for I know you for the fine fellow that you are. While you do none of the things that I should love to have my future husband do, you at least do none of those other things that men make a practise of, and that mean so much misery for their womenkind, whether they show it or not. But, dear Harry, why can you not make yourself more of a man than you are? Why be content with just the splendid foundation, and let it lie, gradually disintegrating because you have failed to rear upon it some kind of a superstructure that would be in keeping with what rests beneath? You can—I know you can—and that is why I have decided to withdraw what appeared to be my final answer of this afternoon, and, if you want it, to give you another chance.
Dear Harry—I've been thinking things over since you left me this afternoon, and I've changed my mind. [Van Buren's eyes lit up with hope.] I do care for you, but I can't see much happiness ahead for either of us unless one of us makes a big change. It may be my fault, but I can't forget that if I married a man, I would always want to be proud of him and support his success in the world. If I weren't ambitious, I could be proud of you just as you are because I know what a great guy you are. While you don’t do the things I would love to see in my future husband, at least you avoid the things that a lot of men do that bring so much misery to women, whether they show it or not. But, dear Harry, why can’t you push yourself to be more of a man than you are? Why be satisfied with just a great foundation and let it fall apart because you haven’t built something on top that matches what’s underneath? You can—I know you can—and that’s why I’ve decided to take back what seemed to be my final answer this afternoon and give you another chance if you want it.
"If I want it!" ejaculated Van Buren. "Lord knows how I want it!"
"If I want it!" exclaimed Van Buren. "God knows how much I want it!"
Come to me at the end of a year and show me the record of something accomplished, that lifts you out this awful social rut we have all managed to get into, and my "no" of this afternoon may be turned into a "yes," and the misery of my heart be turned to joy. Of course you will say that it is all very easy for me to write this, and to tell you to go out and do something, but that the hard thing would be to tell you what to go out and do—and you will be perfectly right. General advice is the easiest thing in the world, but the specific, constructive suggestion is very different. So I will give you the specific suggestion, and it is this: Why do you not write a novel? You used in your days at Harvard to write clever skits for the "Lampoon," and one or two of your little stories in the "Advocate" showed that you at least know how to put words and sentences together in a pleasing way, even if the themes of your stories were slight and the plots not very intricate. Do this, Harry. Surely with your experience in life you can think of something to write about. Apply yourself to this work during the coming year, and when your book is published and has proven a success, come to me again, and maybe I shall have some good news to tell you.
Come to me at the end of the year and show me something you've accomplished that pulls you out of this awful social rut we've all found ourselves in, and my "no" from this afternoon could turn into a "yes," and my heart's misery might transform into joy. Of course, you’ll say it’s easy for me to write this and tell you to go out and do something, but it’s hard to actually tell you what to do—and you'd be completely right. General advice is the easiest thing in the world, but giving specific, constructive suggestions is quite different. So, here’s my specific suggestion: Why don’t you write a novel? Back in your Harvard days, you wrote clever skits for the "Lampoon," and some of your stories in the "Advocate" showed that you know how to craft words and sentences in an engaging way, even if the themes were light and the plots not very complex. Do this, Harry. Surely, with your life experience, you can think of something to write about. Dedicate yourself to this work over the next year, and when your book is published and becomes a success, come back to me, and maybe I’ll have some good news to share with you.
It may be, dear Harry, that you will not think it worth while. For myself, I hardly think the prize is worth the winning, but you seem to feel differently about that, if I may judge from what you said this afternoon, and you did seem to mean it all, every word of it, you poor boy.
It might be, dear Harry, that you don’t think it's worth it. For me, I barely believe the prize is worth chasing, but you seem to feel differently about it, if I can take what you said this afternoon at face value, and it seemed like you really meant every word, you poor boy.
We shall meet, of course, as frequently as ever, but until the year is up, and that a year of achievement, you must not speak of the matter again, and must regard me as I shall hope in any event always to remain,
We will meet, of course, as often as we always have, but until the year is up, and it’s a year of accomplishment, you shouldn’t bring it up again and should think of me as I hope to always be.
Your devoted friend,
ETHEL TOOKER.
Your loyal friend,
ETHEL TOOKER.
Van Buren laughed nervously, as he finished the letter, and again lit his pipe, which had gone out while he read.
Van Buren laughed nervously as he finished the letter and relit his pipe, which had gone out while he was reading.
"Write a novel, eh?" he muttered with a grin. "A nice, easy task that. A hundred and fifty thousand words, all meaning something. Ah me! Why the dickens wasn't I born in an age when knighthood was in flower and my Lady Fayre set Sir Hubert some easy task like putting on a tin suit and going out on the highway and swatting another potted Sir Bedivere on the head with an antique ax? The Quest of the Golden Fleece was an easy stunt alongside of writing a novel these times, and I fear I'm more of a Jason than a Henry James!"
"Write a novel, huh?" he said with a smirk. "A nice, simple task that. A hundred and fifty thousand words, all with meaning. Oh my! Why in the world wasn't I born in a time when knighthood was thriving and my Lady Fair would give Sir Hubert some easy job like putting on a suit of armor and heading out on the road to knock another potted Sir Bedivere on the head with an old axe? The Quest of the Golden Fleece was a piece of cake compared to writing a novel these days, and I’m afraid I’m more of a Jason than a Henry James!"
He turned to his desk, and the next five minutes were devoted to the writing of an acknowledgment of Miss Tooker's letter.
He turned to his desk, and the next five minutes were spent writing a response to Miss Tooker's letter.
I thank you for your suggestion [he wrote], and I truly think it will bear thinking over. Any suggestion that makes for the realization of my fondest hopes will bear thinking over, and I am going to do what I can. I wish you had set me an easier task, however, like getting myself appointed Ambassador to England, or Excise Commissioner, for honestly I do not feel the call of the pen. Nevertheless, my dearest Ethel, just to prove to you how honestly devoted to you I am, I shall to-morrow lay in a stock of pads, a brand new pen, and a new Roosevelt Dictionary to guide me into the short cut to success via the Reformed Spelling Route. I have already got my leading characters—my heroine and my hero. She is the sweetest, fairest, dearest girl in the world, and is to be named Ethel. The hero is to be a miserable, down-and-out young cub of a millionaire who, having been brought up in a hot-house atmosphere, never had a chance when exposed to the chilling blasts of the world. She, of course, will redeem poor Harry—that is to be my hero's name—from the pitfalls of bridge, Newport, and the demon Rum. And, of course, she will marry him in the end.
I appreciate your suggestion [he wrote], and I really think it deserves some thought. Any suggestion that helps make my biggest dreams come true is worth considering, and I’m going to do what I can. I just wish you had given me an easier task, like getting myself appointed as Ambassador to England or as an Excise Commissioner, because honestly, I don’t feel like writing. Still, my dearest Ethel, to show you how truly devoted I am to you, I’ll make sure to pick up some notepads, a new pen, and a fresh Roosevelt Dictionary tomorrow to help me find the shortcut to success through Reformed Spelling. I already have my main characters—my heroine and my hero. She is the sweetest, fairest, most precious girl in the world, and her name will be Ethel. The hero will be a miserable, down-and-out young millionaire who, raised in a sheltered environment, never stood a chance when faced with the harsh realities of the world. Of course, she will save poor Harry—that’s my hero’s name—from the dangers of bridge, Newport, and the demon Rum. And, naturally, she’ll end up marrying him.
Ever your devoted
HARRY.
Always your loyal
HARRY.
P. S. As expressive of my real feelings, my story will be written in blue ink.
P.S. To truly express my feelings, I’ll write my story in blue ink.
II
Late one evening, six months later, Van Buren rose wearily from his desk, but with a light of triumph in his eye.
Late one evening, six months later, Van Buren got up tiredly from his desk, but there was a spark of triumph in his eye.
"There!" he said. "That is done. 'The City of Credit' is at last un fait accompli. One hundred and thirty-seven thousand five hundred and sixty-seven words, and all about Newport, with a bit of the life of its thriving suburbs, New York and Boston, thrown in to relieve the sordidness of it all."
"There!" he said. "That's done. 'The City of Credit' is finally a done deal. One hundred thirty-seven thousand five hundred sixty-seven words, all about Newport, with a touch of the life in its bustling suburbs, New York and Boston, added in to break up the dullness of it all."
He gazed affectionately at the pile of manuscript before him.
He looked fondly at the stack of manuscript in front of him.
"It hasn't been half bad, after all," he said. "The first ten thousand words came like water from a fire hose, the second ten thousand were pure dentistry, tooth-pulling extraordinary, and the rest of it—well, it is queer how when you get interested in shoveling coal how easy it all seems. And now for the hardest end of the job. To find a publisher who is weak-minded enough to print it."
"It hasn’t been too bad, after all," he said. "The first ten thousand words flowed out like water from a fire hose, the next ten thousand were painfully slow, like pulling teeth, and the rest—it's funny how once you get into the groove of working hard, it all starts to feel easier. And now for the hardest part of the job: finding a publisher who’s gullible enough to print it."
This indeed proved much the hardest part of Van Buren's work, for the reluctance of the large publishing houses of New York and Boston to place their imprint upon the title-page of "The City of Credit" became painfully evident to the youthful author. The manuscript came back to Van Buren with a frequency that was more than ominous.
This ended up being the toughest part of Van Buren's work, as the large publishing houses in New York and Boston were clearly hesitant to put their name on the title page of "The City of Credit." The manuscript was returned to Van Buren so often that it felt more than just worrying.
"I think," he remarked ruefully to himself upon the occasion of its sixth rejection, "that I have discovered the principle of perpetual motion. If there were only enough publishers in the world to last through all eternity, I could keep this manuscript going forever."
"I think," he said to himself with a hint of sadness after getting rejected for the sixth time, "that I've figured out the secret to perpetual motion. If only there were enough publishers in the world to last through all eternity, I could keep this manuscript circulating forever."
Days passed and with no glimmer of hope, until one morning at a time when "The City of Credit" was about due for its thirteenth reappearance on his desk Van Buren found in its stead a letter from Hutchins & Waterbury, of Boston, apprising him of the fact that his novel had been read and was so well liked that "our Mr. Waterbury will be pleased to have Mr. Van Buren call to discuss a possible arrangement under which the firm would be willing to undertake its publication."
Days went by with no sign of hope, until one morning, just as "The City of Credit" was about to make its thirteenth appearance on his desk, Van Buren instead found a letter from Hutchins & Waterbury in Boston. The letter informed him that his novel had been read and was so well received that "our Mr. Waterbury would be happy to have Mr. Van Buren come in to discuss a possible arrangement for the firm to publish it."
"Good Lord!" cried Van Buren as he read the letter over for the third time, even then barely crediting the possibilities of success that now loomed before him. "And Boston people, too! Will I call! Niki, pack my suit-case at once, and engage a seat for me on the Knickerbocker Limited."
"Good Lord!" exclaimed Van Buren as he read the letter for the third time, still having a hard time believing the chances of success that were now in front of him. "And people from Boston, too! I can’t believe it! Niki, pack my suitcase right now and book me a seat on the Knickerbocker Limited."
The following morning an interview between "our Mr. Waterbury" and Van Buren took place in the firm's private office on Tremont Street, Boston. It appeared that while the readers of the firm of Hutchins & Waterbury had unanimously condemned the book, Mr. Waterbury, himself, having read it, rather thought it might have a living chance.
The next morning, an interview happened between "our Mr. Waterbury" and Van Buren in the firm's private office on Tremont Street, Boston. It seemed that while the readers of Hutchins & Waterbury all criticized the book, Mr. Waterbury, who had read it, actually believed it might have a good chance of success.
"Some portions of your narrative are brilliant, and some of them are otherwise, Mr. Van Buren," said Mr. Waterbury frankly. "But considering the authorship of the book and that it is a description of Newport life by one who is a part of its innermost circle, I am inclined to think it will prove interesting to the public. Your picture of the social wheels within wheels is so intimate, and I judge so accurate, that it would attract attention."
"Some parts of your story are fantastic, and some are less impressive, Mr. Van Buren," Mr. Waterbury said honestly. "But given who wrote the book and that it's a portrayal of life in Newport by someone deeply embedded in its inner circle, I believe it will be interesting to the public. Your depiction of the intricate social dynamics is so personal, and I assume so accurate, that it will definitely draw attention."
"I am glad you think so," said Van Buren, with a dry throat—the idea that his book might be published after all was really overpowering.
"I’m glad you think so," said Van Buren, his throat feeling dry—the thought that his book might actually get published was truly overwhelming.
"On the other hand, the judgment of our readers is so unanimously adverse that Mr. Hutchins and I feel the need of proceeding cautiously. Now, what would you say to our publishing the book on—ah—on your account, as it were?"
"On the other hand, our readers' feedback is so overwhelmingly negative that Mr. Hutchins and I feel we need to move carefully. So, what do you think about us publishing the book for—uh—your benefit, so to speak?"
"You want me to—" began Van Buren.
"You want me to—" started Van Buren.
"To pay for the plates and advertising," said Mr. Waterbury. "We will stand for the paper and the binding, and will act as your agents in the distribution of the book, accounting to you for every copy printed and sold."
"To cover the cost of the plates and advertising," Mr. Waterbury said. "We'll take care of the paper and the binding, and we’ll act as your agents in distributing the book, reporting to you on every copy that’s printed and sold."
"Is—is that quite en regle?" asked Van Buren dubiously.
"Is—is that all in order?" asked Van Buren doubtfully.
"It is quite customary," replied Mr. Waterbury. "In fact, ninety per cent of our business is conducted upon that basis."
"It’s pretty standard," replied Mr. Waterbury. "Actually, ninety percent of our business is done that way."
"I see," said Van Buren.
"I see," Van Buren said.
"You hand us your check for twenty-five hundred dollars to cover the expenses I have specified," continued the astute publisher, "and we will publish your book, allowing you a royalty of fifty per cent on every copy sold."
"You give us your check for twenty-five hundred dollars to cover the expenses I've listed," the sharp publisher continued, "and we will publish your book, giving you a fifty percent royalty on every copy sold."
"I suppose the first edition would be—" said Van Buren hesitatingly.
"I guess the first edition would be—" said Van Buren, hesitating.
"Five hundred copies," said Waterbury. "The smaller your first edition, the sooner you are likely to go into a second, and, as you know, it is a great advantage for a book to go into a second edition quickly, if only for advertising purposes. Think it over, and let me know this afternoon if you can. I have to leave for Chicago to-night, and if we are to have 'The City of Credit' ready for the autumn trade, we should begin work on it right away."
"Five hundred copies," Waterbury said. "The smaller your first print run, the sooner you're likely to move into a second, and, as you know, it's a big plus for a book to go into a second edition quickly, even just for promotion. Think it over and let me know this afternoon if you can. I need to head to Chicago tonight, and if we're going to have 'The City of Credit' ready for the autumn market, we should start working on it right away."
"I understand," said Van Buren. "Well—I—I guess it's all right. It's only the principle of the thing—but if, as you say, it is quite customary—why, yes. I'll give you my check now. Do you want it certified?"
"I get it," said Van Buren. "Well—I—I suppose that's fine. It's just a matter of principle—but if, as you say, it's totally normal—then, sure. I'll write you a check now. Do you want it certified?"
"That will not be at all necessary, Mr. Van Buren," said Waterbury magnanimously. "We are quite aware that your own signature to a check is a sufficient certification."
"That won't be necessary at all, Mr. Van Buren," Waterbury said generously. "We know that your signature on a check is enough verification."
The afternoon train for Newport carried Van Buren back to the social capital with a contract in his pocket, signed by Messrs. Hutchins & Waterbury, assuring the early publication of "The City of Credit," but in view of certain of its financial stipulations, jubilant as he was over the success of his first real step toward fame, Van Buren did not show it to Miss Tooker, as he might have done had it contained no reference to a check on the Tenth National Bank of New York calling for the payment of two thousand five hundred dollars to the Boston firm of publishers.
The afternoon train to Newport took Van Buren back to the social scene with a contract in his pocket, signed by Hutchins & Waterbury, guaranteeing the early release of "The City of Credit." However, because of some of its financial terms, even though he was thrilled about his first real step toward fame, Van Buren didn’t show it to Miss Tooker like he might have if it hadn't mentioned a check from the Tenth National Bank of New York for two thousand five hundred dollars payable to the Boston publishing firm.
III
In September "The City of Credit" was published, and widely advertised by Messrs. Hutchins & Waterbury, and Van Buren took particular pains to secure the first copy from the press and to send it by messenger with a suitable inscription and a note to Miss Tooker.
In September, "The City of Credit" was published and heavily promoted by Hutchins & Waterbury. Van Buren made a special effort to get the first copy from the press and sent it by messenger along with a thoughtful inscription and a note to Miss Tooker.
"I send you my book," he wrote, "not because I think it is worth reading, but for the double purpose of showing you that I have tried my best to fulfil your wishes, and to assure the work of at least the circulation of one copy. It has all of my heart in it."
"I’m sending you my book," he wrote, "not because I think it’s worth reading, but to do two things: show you that I’ve done my best to meet your wishes, and to guarantee that at least one copy gets out there. It contains all of my heart."
For one reason or another, doubtless because there were quite five hundred other novels of a similar character put forth about the same time, by the end of October the world had not yet been consumed by any conflagration of Van Buren's lighting.
For one reason or another, probably because there were at least five hundred other similar novels released around the same time, by the end of October the world hadn’t gone up in flames from any of Van Buren's lighting.
"The book hangs fire," said Mr. Waterbury when Van Buren called upon him at his Boston office to inquire how things were going. "We printed five hundred copies, and this morning's report shows two hundred and thirty still on hand. A hundred and sixty were sent for review."
"The book's not doing well," said Mr. Waterbury when Van Buren visited his Boston office to see how things were going. "We printed five hundred copies, and this morning's report shows two hundred and thirty still available. A hundred and sixty were sent out for reviews."
"I wish they hadn't been," said Van Buren, with a rueful smile. "They have provided just one hundred and sixty separate pieces of fuel for the critics to roast me with. Have there been any favorable reviews of the book?"
"I wish they hadn't been," said Van Buren, with a wry smile. "They've given critics one hundred and sixty different chances to tear me apart. Have there been any good reviews of the book?"
"None that I have seen—but don't you worry about that," replied Mr. Waterbury comfortingly. "It's the counting-room, not the critics, that tell the story. Something may happen yet to pull us out."
"None that I’ve seen—but don’t worry about that," Mr. Waterbury replied reassuringly. "It’s the counting room, not the critics, that tell the story. Something might still happen to get us out of this."
"What, for instance?" asked Van Buren
"What, for example?" asked Van Buren.
"Oh, I don't know," said Waterbury. "You might do something sensational and get it in the papers. That would help. It's up to you, Mr. Van Buren."
"Oh, I’m not sure," said Waterbury. "You could do something dramatic and get it in the papers. That would help. It’s up to you, Mr. Van Buren."
"I guess I'm all in," said Van Buren to himself as he walked down Tremont Street. "Up to me to do something—by Jove!" he interrupted himself abruptly. He had suddenly espied a copy of "The City of Credit" in a shop window. "Up to me, is it? Well, I think I shall rise to the occasion and not by doing anything sensational either."
"I guess I'm all in," Van Buren said to himself as he walked down Tremont Street. "It's up to me to do something—wow!" he suddenly interrupted himself. He had just spotted a copy of "The City of Credit" in a shop window. "It's up to me, huh? Well, I think I’ll step up and not by doing anything dramatic either."
He entered the shop.
He walked into the shop.
"I want six copies of 'The City of Credit,'" he said quietly to the salesman. "It's a first-class story. Much of a demand for it?"
"I want six copies of 'The City of Credit,'" he said softly to the salesperson. "It's an excellent story. Is there a lot of demand for it?"
"No," said the salesman. "We have only the window copy, and we've had that over a month. I can get them for you, however."
"No," said the salesman. "We only have the window copy, and we've had that for over a month. I can get some for you, though."
"All right," said Van Buren. "Just send them to Charles H. Harney, The Helicon Club, New York. I'll pay for them now."
"Okay," said Van Buren. "Just send them to Charles H. Harney, The Helicon Club, New York. I'll pay for them now."
Van Buren paid his bill, and, returning to the street, hailed a hansom.
Van Buren paid his bill and, stepping back onto the street, called for a cab.
"Take me to some good book-shop," he said to the cabby.
"Take me to a good bookstore," he said to the cab driver.
Instanter he was whirled around into Winter Street, where stands one of Boston's most famous literary distributing centers.
Instantly, he was spun around into Winter Street, where one of Boston's most famous literary distribution centers is located.
"Have you 'The City of Credit'?" he asked the salesman.
"Do you have 'The City of Credit'?" he asked the salesman.
"I think we have a copy in stock," replied the latter. "If we haven't, we can get it for you."
"I think we have one in stock," replied the other person. "If we don't, we can get it for you."
"Do so, please," said Van Buren. "I want a dozen copies—send them by express to Charles H. Harney, The Helicon Club, New York. How much?"
"Please do that," said Van Buren. "I need a dozen copies—send them by express to Charles H. Harney, The Helicon Club, New York. How much?"
"It's a dollar and a half book, I think," said the clerk. "The discount will make it $1.20—a dozen, did you say? Twenty-five cents expressage—that will make it $14.65."
"It's a $1.50 book, I think," said the clerk. "With the discount, it'll be $1.20—did you say a dozen? Twenty-five cents for shipping—that will make it $14.65."
Van Buren paid up without a whimper. Once in the hansom again, he called up through the little hole in the top.
Van Buren paid up without a complaint. Once back in the cab, he called up through the small opening in the top.
"Isn't there any other book-shop in town where I can get what I want?" he demanded.
"Isn't there another bookstore in town where I can find what I need?" he asked.
"There's a dozen of 'em," replied the cabby.
"There's a dozen of them," replied the cab driver.
"Then go to them all," said Van Buren.
"Then go to all of them," said Van Buren.
That night when Van Buren started for New York he had purchased a hundred and fifty copies of "The City of Credit," and had ordered them all to be addressed to the clerk at the Helicon Club, with whom, upon his arrival in town, he arranged for their immediate reshipment to the Harrison Safety Deposit Storage Company on Forty-second Street.
That night when Van Buren headed to New York, he bought one hundred and fifty copies of "The City of Credit" and had them all sent to the clerk at the Helicon Club. Upon arriving in town, he arranged for them to be shipped immediately to the Harrison Safety Deposit Storage Company on Forty-second Street.
"I'm going to have my happiness, if I have to buy it," Van Buren muttered doggedly, as he crept into bed shortly after midnight. And then, tossing sleeplessly in his bed and at last rejoicing in the possession of his late father's millions to back him in his enterprise, he laid the foundations of a plan comparable only to that of the Wheat King who corners the market, or the man of Cotton who loads himself up with more bales of that useful commodity than all the fertile acres of the South could raise in seven seasons. Orders were despatched by wire and by mail to all the booksellers in the land whose names and addresses Van Buren could get hold of. Department stores were put under contribution and their stock commandeered, and one of the biggest booms in the whole history of literature set in.
"I'm going to find my happiness, even if I have to buy it," Van Buren muttered stubbornly as he crawled into bed shortly after midnight. And then, tossing and turning in his bed, finally feeling grateful for the millions left by his late father to support his venture, he started to lay the groundwork for a plan that could only be compared to that of the Wheat King who corners the market, or the Cotton King who hoards more bales of that valuable resource than all the fertile lands of the South could produce in seven years. Orders were sent out by wire and by mail to every bookseller in the country whose details Van Buren could find. Department stores were called upon to contribute, and their stock was taken over, sparking one of the biggest booms in the entire history of literature.
"The City of Credit" went into its second, fifth, twentieth, fiftieth large edition. Hutchins & Waterbury wrote Van Buren stating that a sudden turn in the market had made his book one of the six best sellers not only of this century but of all centuries. Their presses were seething to the point of white heat with the copies of "The City of Credit" needed to supply the demand; their binders were working day and night with a double force, and their shipping department was pretty nearly swamped with the strain put upon it. "Your royalty check on January 1st will be the fattest in the land," wrote Waterbury in a moment of enthusiasm. "We are thinking of sending our staff of readers to the lunatic asylum and getting an entirely new set. An order for four thousand has come in from Chicago this morning. St. Louis wants fifteen hundred, and pretty nearly every other able-bodied town in the country is asking for from one to one hundred and fifty." By Christmas time, if the publishers' announcements were to be believed, "The City of Credit" had attained to the enormous sale of three hundred and fifty thousand, and Van Buren was in receipt of a letter from a literary periodical asking for his photograph for publication in its February issue. This brought him a realization of the fact that he might now fairly claim to be considered a literary success. At any rate, he felt that he had now a right to approach Miss Tooker with a fair prospect of receiving from her a favorable answer to the question which she had a year before left an open one.
"The City of Credit" had gone into its second, fifth, twentieth, and fiftieth large edition. Hutchins & Waterbury wrote to Van Buren, saying that a sudden market shift had made his book one of the six bestsellers not only of this century but of all time. Their presses were working at full capacity to produce enough copies of "The City of Credit" to meet demand; their binders were working day and night with double the workforce, and their shipping department was almost overwhelmed by the pressure. "Your royalty check on January 1st will be the biggest in the country," Waterbury wrote in a moment of excitement. "We're considering sending our staff of readers to the mental health facility and hiring an entirely new team. We received an order for four thousand copies from Chicago this morning. St. Louis wants fifteen hundred, and nearly every other sizable town in the country is asking for between one and one hundred and fifty." By Christmas, if the publishers' announcements were to be trusted, "The City of Credit" had sold an impressive three hundred and fifty thousand copies, and Van Buren received a letter from a literary magazine requesting his photograph for publication in its February issue. This made him realize that he could now justifiably consider himself a literary success. Regardless, he felt he now had a reasonable chance of approaching Miss Tooker and receiving a positive response to the question she had left open a year earlier.
And events showed that his feeling was justified, for two days later he enjoyed the blissful sensation of finding himself the accepted lover of the woman he had tried so hard to please.
And events showed that he was right to feel that way, for two days later he experienced the blissful sensation of being the accepted lover of the woman he had tried so hard to please.
"Is it to be—yes?" he whispered, as they sat together in the conservatory of her father's city house.
"Is it going to happen—yeah?" he whispered, as they sat together in the conservatory of her dad's city house.
"It has—always been—yes," she replied softly, and then what happened is not for your eyes or mine. Suffice it to say that Van Buren moved immediately from sordid old New York to become a dweller in the higher altitudes of Elysium.
"It always has been—yes," she replied softly, and then what happened is not for you or me to see. Just know that Van Buren quickly left the grim streets of old New York to reside in the elevated realms of Elysium.
Incidentally the boom in "The City of Credit" stopped almost as suddenly as it had begun. There was nobody apparently who felt called upon to throw in the necessary number of dollars to sustain an already over-stimulated market, which puzzled Messrs. Hutchins & Waterbury exceedingly. They had hoped to live for the balance of their days upon the profits of their World's Best Seller.
Incidentally, the boom in "The City of Credit" came to a halt almost as quickly as it started. Apparently, no one felt compelled to invest the necessary money to support an already overactive market, which left Messrs. Hutchins & Waterbury quite confused. They had hoped to spend the rest of their lives enjoying the profits from their World's Best Seller.
IV
As the spring approached and the day set for Miss Tooker's wedding to Van Buren came nearer, the latter found himself daily becoming more and more a prey to conscience. There was a decidedly large fly in the amber of his happiness, for as he viewed the part he had played in the forced success of "The City of Credit" he began to see it in its true light. The first of March brought him his royalty check from Hutchins & Waterbury, and it was, as had been predicted, gratifyingly large, and reduced materially what he had called his "campaign expenses." In the same mail, however, was a bill from the Storage Company, in one of whose spacious chambers there reposed more copies of his novel than he liked to think of—over 250,000—the actual sales had been 260,000 in spite of the published announcements of a higher figure. The firm had thirty or forty thousand on hand, printed in a moment of confident enthusiasm when the flurry was at its height. Both communications brought before Van Buren's mind's eye all too vividly the specter of his duplicity, and he was too much of a man of conscience to be able to put it lightly aside. He tried to console himself with the idea that all is fair in love and war, but he could not, and his remorse caused him many a sleepless night. Finally—it was on the eve of the posting of the wedding invitations—scruple overcame him, and he resolved that he could not honestly lead his bride to the altar with such a record of deceit upon his escutcheon, especially in view of the fact that it was through this deceit that his happiness had been won.
As spring arrived and the date for Miss Tooker's wedding to Van Buren drew closer, he found himself increasingly troubled by his conscience. There was a significant flaw in his happiness, as he began to see the role he played in the forced success of "The City of Credit" more clearly. March 1st brought him his royalty check from Hutchins & Waterbury, which was, as expected, impressively large and significantly offset what he had labeled his "campaign expenses." However, alongside it came a bill from the Storage Company, where over 250,000 copies of his novel were stored—more than he cared to think about—the actual sales were 260,000 despite public claims of a higher figure. The firm had thirty or forty thousand extras printed during a moment of overconfidence when sales surged. Both letters starkly reminded Van Buren of his dishonesty, and he was too much of a person of integrity to brush it off. He attempted to reassure himself with the notion that all is fair in love and war, but he couldn't shake it, and his guilt led to many sleepless nights. Finally—it happened the night before the wedding invitations were to be sent—his scruples got the better of him, and he decided he couldn't honestly take his bride to the altar with such a record of deceit tarnishing his reputation, particularly since it was that deception that had secured his happiness.
"It is better to lose her before the ceremony than after it," he told himself, and, bitter though the confidence might be, he made up his mind to tell Miss Tooker everything. "Only, I must break it gently," he observed.
"It’s better to lose her before the wedding than after," he told himself, and, though the thought was painful, he decided to tell Miss Tooker everything. "But I have to do it gently," he noted.
With this difficult errand in mind, he called upon his fiancée, and, after the usual greeting, he started in on his confession. He had hardly begun it, however, when his courage failed him, and with the oozing of that his words failed him also. He did have the courage, however, to seek to reveal the exact situation in another way.
With this tough task in mind, he visited his fiancée, and after the usual greeting, he began his confession. He had barely started when his courage slipped away, and along with it, his words. However, he did have the bravery to try to explain the situation in a different way.
"Ethel dear," he said, awkwardly fumbling his gloves, "I want to show you something. I have a—a little surprise for you."
"Ethel, sweetheart," he said, clumsily handling his gloves, "I want to show you something. I have a—a little surprise for you."
The girl eyed him narrowly.
The girl looked at him closely.
"For me?" she said.
"For me?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered. "The fact is, it's—it's a sort of wedding present I have for you, and I think you ought to see it before—well, now. Will you go?"
"Yes," he replied. "The truth is, it's—it's a kind of wedding gift I have for you, and I think you should see it before—well, now. Will you come?"
Miss Tooker was interested at once, and, taking a hansom, they were driven to the Harrison Storage Warehouse on Forty-second Street Arrived there, Van Buren led her to the elevator and thence up to the small room in which lay the corroding and tell-tale packages—an enormous bulk—that were slowly but surely eating up his happiness.
Miss Tooker was immediately interested, and after getting a cab, they headed to the Harrison Storage Warehouse on Forty-second Street. Once they arrived, Van Buren guided her to the elevator and then up to the small room where the deteriorating and revealing packages—a massive load—were slowly but surely consuming his happiness.
"Why, Harry!" she cried as she gazed in bewilderment at the huge pile of unopened bundles. "Are these all for me?"
"Wow, Harry!" she exclaimed, staring in confusion at the enormous stack of unopened packages. "Are all these for me?"
"Yes," gulped Van Buren, his face flaming.
"Yeah," gulped Van Buren, his face burning.
"But—what do they contain?" she asked.
"But—what’s in them?" she asked.
"Two hundred and fifty thousand copies of my—my book—'The City of Credit,'" said Van Buren, his eyes cast down.
"Two hundred and fifty thousand copies of my—my book—'The City of Credit,'" said Van Buren, looking down.
"You mean that you—" she began.
"You mean that you—" she started.
"Yes, it's exactly that, Ethel. I—I bought 'em all to—well, to boom the sales and to—make a name for myself in the world," he said sheepishly, "or rather for you—but I suppose now that you know—-"
"Yes, that's exactly it, Ethel. I—I bought all of them to—well, to boost the sales and to—make a name for myself in the world," he said shyly, "or really for you—but I guess now that you know—-"
"Then all this tremendous sale was arranged between you and your publishers to deceive me?" she asked.
"Was this huge deal you made with your publishers just to trick me?" she asked.
"Not at all," protested the unhappy Van Buren. "On the contrary, I did it all myself. Hutchins & Waterbury don't know any more about it than you did an hour ago. No one knows—except you and I."
"Not at all," protested the unhappy Van Buren. "On the contrary, I did it all myself. Hutchins & Waterbury don't know any more about it than you did an hour ago. No one knows—except you and me."
Van Buren paused.
Van Buren took a break.
"I could not let you marry me without knowing what I had done," he said. "It would not be fair to—to our future."
"I can't let you marry me without knowing what I did," he said. "It wouldn't be fair to our future."
"Tell me all about it," she said quietly, and Van Buren made his confession complete. He told her of his interview with Waterbury—how the latter had told him his book had fallen flat; how it was "up to him" to do something; how a sight of a single copy of "The City of Credit" in the Tremont Street shop window had tempted him first into a retail fall which had grown ultimately into a wholesale "crime"—as he put it. He did not spare himself in the least degree, humiliating as the narration of his story was to him.
"Tell me all about it," she said quietly, and Van Buren shared everything. He recounted his meeting with Waterbury—how Waterbury had told him his book had flopped; how it was "up to him" to take action; how seeing a single copy of "The City of Credit" in the Tremont Street shop window had tempted him into a retail downfall that eventually turned into a wholesale "crime"—as he described it. He didn’t hold back at all, even though recounting his story was deeply humiliating for him.
"I suppose it is all up with me now," he said ruefully, when he had finished.
"I guess it's all over for me now," he said with a sigh, when he had finished.
"I don't know," said Ethel quietly. "I don't know, Harry. Perhaps. Take me home, please. I want to show you something."
"I don't know," Ethel said softly. "I don't know, Harry. Maybe. Please take me home. I want to show you something."
The drive back to the Tooker mansion was taken in silence. Van Buren despised himself too strongly to be able to speak, and Miss Tooker had fallen into a deep reverie which the poor fellow at her side feared meant irrevocable ruin to his hopes.
The drive back to the Tooker mansion was quiet. Van Buren loathed himself too much to say anything, and Miss Tooker had slipped into a deep thought that the poor guy next to her feared would mean the end of his hopes.
"Come in," said Miss Tooker gravely, as the cab drew up at the house. "I want to take you up into our attic storeroom, and then ask you a plain question, Harry, and then I want you to answer that question simply and truthfully."
"Come in," Miss Tooker said seriously as the cab stopped at the house. "I want to take you up to our attic storeroom, then I'll ask you a straightforward question, Harry, and I want you to answer that question honestly and clearly."
Marveling much, Van Buren permitted himself to be led to the topmost floor of Miss Tooker's house.
Marveling a lot, Van Buren allowed himself to be guided to the top floor of Miss Tooker's house.
"Look in there," said she, opening the door of the storeroom. "Do you see those packages?"
"Look in there," she said, opening the storeroom door. "Do you see those packages?"
"Yes," he said. "They look very much like mine, only they're fewer."
"Yeah," he said. "They look a lot like mine, just there are fewer of them."
"Do you know what they contain?" she asked.
"Do you know what's in them?" she asked.
"Books?" queried Van Buren, entering the room and tapping one of the bundles.
"Books?" asked Van Buren, walking into the room and tapping one of the bundles.
"Yes—yours—your books—five thousand three hundred and ten copies of 'The City of Credit,' Harry," she said, with a rueful smile.
"Yes—yours—your books—five thousand three hundred and ten copies of 'The City of Credit,' Harry," she said, with a wry smile.
"You—" he ejaculated hoarsely.
"You—" he gasped hoarsely.
"Yes, I bought them all. Some in Newport, some in New York, some at Lenox—oh, everywhere! Now, tell me this," she interrupted. "Do you suppose that I would condemn you for doing on a large scale what I have been doing on a smaller scale ever since last November?"
"Yeah, I bought them all. Some in Newport, some in New York, some at Lenox—oh, everywhere! Now, tell me this," she interrupted. "Do you really think I would judge you for doing on a larger scale what I've been doing on a smaller scale since last November?"
A ray of hope dawned in Van Buren's eyes.
A glimmer of hope appeared in Van Buren's eyes.
"Ethel!" he cried, seising her by the hand. "You bought all those—for me?"
"Ethel!" he exclaimed, grabbing her hand. "You bought all of those—for me?"
"I certainly did, Harry," she said quietly. "With my pin money, and my bridge money and all the other kinds of money that I could wheedle out of my dear old daddy. But answer me. Have I the right to sit in judgment on you—"
"I definitely did, Harry," she said softly. "With my spending money, my bridge money, and all the other kinds of cash I could coax out of my dear old dad. But tell me, do I have the right to judge you—"
"Not by a long shot!" cried Van Buren. "It would be an act of the most consummate hypocrisy."
"Not even close!" yelled Van Buren. "That would be the height of hypocrisy."
"That is the way I look at it, dear," she whispered, and then—well, all I have to say is that I don't believe anything like what happened at that precise moment ever happened in an attic storeroom before.
"That's how I see it, dear," she whispered, and then—well, all I can say is that I don’t think anything like what happened at that exact moment has ever occurred in an attic storeroom before.
And the wedding invitations were mailed that very evening.
And the wedding invitations were sent out that very evening.
THE FABLE OF THE TWO MANDOLIN PLAYERS
AND THE WILLING PERFORMER
By GEORGE ADE
Copyright 1899 by Herbert S. Stone & Co.
Copyright 1899 by Herbert S.
A very attractive Débutante knew two Young Men, who called on her every Thursday Evening and brought their Mandolins along. They were Conventional Young Men, of the Kind that you see wearing Spring Overcoats in the Clothing Advertisements. One was named Fred, and the other was Eustace.
A very attractive debutante knew two young men who visited her every Thursday evening and brought their mandolins with them. They were the typical kind of young men you see in spring overcoat fashion ads. One was named Fred, and the other Eustace.
The Mothers of the Neighborhood often remarked "What Perfect Manners Fred and Eustace have!" Merely as an aside it may be added that Fred and Eustace were more Popular with the Mothers than they were with the Younger Set, although no one could say a Word against either of them. Only it was rumored in Keen Society that they didn't Belong. The Fact that they went Calling in a Crowd, and took their Mandolins along, may give the Acute Reader some Idea of the Life that Fred and Eustace held out to the Young Women of their Acquaintance.
The moms in the neighborhood often said, "What great manners Fred and Eustace have!" By the way, it's worth mentioning that Fred and Eustace were more popular with the moms than they were with the younger crowd, although no one could say anything bad about either of them. It was just rumored in Keen Society that they didn't quite fit in. The fact that they went visiting in a group and brought their mandolins along might give the sharp observer some idea of the lifestyle Fred and Eustace offered to the young women they knew.
The Débutante's name was Myrtle. Her Parents were very Watchful, and did not encourage her to receive Callers, except such as were known to be Exemplary Young Men. Fred and Eustace were a few of those who escaped the Black List. Myrtle always appeared to be glad to see them, and they regarded her as a Darned Swell Girl.
The debutante's name was Myrtle. Her parents were very watchful and didn’t encourage her to have visitors, except for those known to be exemplary young men. Fred and Eustace were a few who made the cut. Myrtle always seemed happy to see them, and they thought of her as a really great girl.
Fred's Cousin came from St. Paul on a Visit; and one Day, in the Street, he saw Myrtle, and noticed that Fred tipped his Hat, and gave her a Stage Smile.
Fred's cousin came from St. Paul for a visit, and one day, in the street, he saw Myrtle and noticed that Fred tipped his hat and gave her a stage smile.
"Oh, Queen of Sheba!" exclaimed the Cousin from St. Paul, whose name was Gus, as he stood stock still and watched Myrtle's Reversible Plaid disappear around a Corner. "She's a Bird. Do you know her well?"
"Oh, Queen of Sheba!" exclaimed Gus, the cousin from St. Paul, as he stood frozen and watched Myrtle's Reversible Plaid disappear around a corner. "She's a catch. Do you know her well?"
"I know her Quite Well," replied Fred, coldly. "She is a Charming Girl."
"I know her pretty well," replied Fred, coldly. "She’s a charming girl."
"She is all of that. You're a great Describer. And now what Night are you going to take me around to Call on her?"
"She is everything you said. You're an amazing Describer. So, which Night are you going to take me around to visit her?"
Fred very naturally Hemmed and Hawed. It must be remembered that Myrtle was a member of an Excellent Family, and had been schooled in the Proprieties, and it was not to be supposed that she would crave the Society of slangy old Gus, who had an abounding Nerve, and furthermore was as Fresh as the Mountain Air.
Fred hesitated a lot. It’s important to note that Myrtle came from a great family and had been taught about proper behavior, so it wasn’t realistic to think she would want to spend time with rough-around-the-edges Gus, who was incredibly bold and also as carefree as the mountain air.
He was the Kind of Fellow who would see a Girl twice, and then, upon meeting her the Third Time, he would go up and straighten her Cravat for her, and call her by her First Name.
He was the kind of guy who would meet a girl twice, and then, when he saw her the third time, he'd walk up and fix her scarf for her and call her by her first name.
Put him into a Strange Company—en route to a Picnic—and by the time the Baskets were unpacked he would have a Blonde all to himself, and she would have traded her Fan for his College Pin.
Put him in an unusual group—on the way to a picnic—and by the time the baskets were unpacked, he would have a blonde all to himself, and she would have swapped her fan for his college pin.
If a Fair-Looker on the Street happened to glance at him Hard he would run up and seize her by the Hand, and convince her that they had Met. And he always Got Away with it, too.
If a pretty girl on the street happened to glance at him hard, he would run up and grab her hand, convincing her that they had met before. And he always got away with it, too.
In a Department Store, while awaiting for the Cash Boy to come back with the Change, he would find out the Girl's Name, her Favorite Flower, and where a Letter would reach her.
In a department store, while waiting for the cashier to return with the change, he would learn the girl's name, her favorite flower, and how to reach her by letter.
Upon entering a Parlor Car at St. Paul he would select a Chair next to the Most Promising One in Sight, and ask her if she cared to have the Shade lowered.
Upon entering a Parlor Car at St. Paul, he would choose a seat next to the most attractive person in sight and ask her if she wanted the shade lowered.
Before the Train cleared the Yards he would have the Porter bringing a Foot-Stool for the Lady.
Before the train left the yards, he would have the porter bring a footstool for the lady.
At Hastings he would be asking her if she wanted Something to Read.
At Hastings, he would be asking her if she wanted something to read.
At Red Wing he would be telling her that she resembled Maxine Elliott, and showing her his Watch, left to him by his Grandfather, a Prominent Virginian.
At Red Wing, he would be telling her that she looked like Maxine Elliott and showing her his watch, which was passed down to him by his grandfather, a prominent Virginian.
At La Crosse he would be reading the Menu Card to her, and telling her how different it is when you have Some One to join you in a Bite.
At La Crosse, he would be reading the menu to her and telling her how different it is when you have someone to share a meal with.
At Milwaukee he would go out and buy a Bouquet for her, and when they rode into Chicago they would be looking but of the same Window, and he would be arranging for her Baggage with the Transfer Man. After that they would be Old Friends.
At Milwaukee, he would go out and buy her a bouquet, and when they arrived in Chicago, they would be looking out of the same window while he’d take care of her luggage with the transfer guy. After that, they would be old friends.
Now, Fred and Eustace had been at School with Gus, and they had seen his Work, and they were not disposed to Introduce him into One of the most Exclusive Homes in the City.
Now, Fred and Eustace had been in school with Gus, and they had seen his work, and they were not inclined to introduce him to one of the most exclusive homes in the city.
They had known Myrtle for many Years; but they did not dare to Address her by her First Name, and they were Positive that if Gus attempted any of his usual Tactics with her she would be Offended; and, naturally enough, they would be Blamed for bringing him to the House.
They had known Myrtle for many years, but they wouldn’t dare call her by her first name. They were sure that if Gus tried any of his usual tricks with her, she would be offended; and understandably, they would be blamed for bringing him to the house.
But Gus insisted. He said he had seen Myrtle, and she Suited him from the Ground up, and he proposed to have Friendly Doings with her. At last they told him they would take him if he promised to Behave. Fred warned him that Myrtle would frown down any Attempt to be Familiar on Short Acquaintance, and Eustace said that as long as he had known Myrtle he had never Presumed to be Free and Forward with her. He had simply played the Mandolin. That was as Far Along as he had ever got.
But Gus insisted. He said he had seen Myrtle, and she was perfect for him from top to bottom, and he planned to have a good time with her. Finally, they told him they would take him if he promised to behave. Fred warned him that Myrtle would shut down any attempts to get too close too quickly, and Eustace said that in all the time he had known Myrtle, he had never dared to be too casual with her. He had just played the mandolin. That was as far as he had ever gotten.
Gus told them not to Worry about him. All he asked was a Start. He said he was a Willing Performer, but as yet he never had been Disqualified for Crowding.
Gus told them not to worry about him. All he asked for was a start. He said he was a willing performer, but so far he had never been disqualified for crowding.
Fred and Eustace took this to mean that he would not Overplay his Attentions, so they escorted him to the House.
Fred and Eustace interpreted this to mean that he wouldn't overdo his attention, so they took him to the House.
As soon as he had been Presented, Gus showed her where to sit on the Sofa, then he placed himself about Six Inches away and began to Buzz, looking her straight in the Eye. He said that when he first saw her he Mistook her for Miss Prentice, who was said to be the Most Beautiful Girl in St. Paul, only, when he came closer, he saw that it couldn't be Miss Prentice, because Miss Prentice didn't have such Lovely Hair. Then he asked her the Month of her Birth and told her Fortune, thereby coming nearer to Holding her Hand within Eight Minutes than Eustace had come in a Lifetime.
As soon as he was introduced, Gus showed her where to sit on the couch, then he positioned himself about six inches away and started chatting, looking her directly in the eye. He said that when he first saw her, he mistook her for Miss Prentice, who was known as the most beautiful girl in St. Paul. However, when he got closer, he realized it couldn't be Miss Prentice because Miss Prentice didn't have such beautiful hair. Then he asked her when her birthday was and told her fortune, getting closer to holding her hand in eight minutes than Eustace had in a lifetime.
"Play something, Boys," he Ordered, just as if he had paid them Money to come along and make Music for him.
"Play something, guys," he ordered, just as if he had paid them money to come along and make music for him.
They unlimbered their Mandolins and began to play a Sousa March. He asked Myrtle if she had seen the New Moon. She replied that she had not, so they went Outside.
They took out their mandolins and started playing a Sousa march. He asked Myrtle if she had seen the new moon. She said she hadn’t, so they went outside.
When Fred and Eustace finished the first Piece, Gus appeared at the open Window, and asked them to play "The Georgia Camp-Meeting," which had always been one of his Favorites.
When Fred and Eustace finished the first piece, Gus showed up at the open window and asked them to play "The Georgia Camp-Meeting," which had always been one of his favorites.
So they played that, and when they had Concluded there came a Voice from the Outer Darkness, and it was the Voice of Myrtle. She said: "I'll tell you what to Play; play the Intermezzo."
So they played that, and when they finished, a voice came from the outer darkness, and it was Myrtle's voice. She said, "I'll tell you what to play; play the Intermezzo."
Fred and Eustace exchanged Glances. They began to Perceive that they had been backed into a Siding. With a few Potted Palms in front of them, and two Cards from the Union, they would have been just the same as a Hired Orchestra.
Fred and Eustace exchanged glances. They started to realize that they had been backed into a dead end. With a few potted palms in front of them and two cards from the union, they would have looked just like a hired orchestra.
But they played the Intermezzo and felt Peevish. Then they went to the Window and looked out. Gus and Myrtle were sitting in the Hammock, which had quite a Pitch toward the Center. Gus had braced himself by Holding to the back of the Hammock. He did not have his Arm around Myrtle, but he had it Extended in a Line parallel with her Back. What he had done wouldn't Justify a Girl in saying, "Sir!" but it started a Real Scandal with Fred and Eustace. They saw that the Only Way to Get Even with her was to go Home without saying "Good Night." So they slipped out the Side Door, shivering with Indignation.
But they played the Intermezzo and felt irritable. Then they went to the window and looked outside. Gus and Myrtle were sitting in the hammock, which tilted significantly toward the center. Gus had steadied himself by gripping the back of the hammock. He didn’t have his arm around Myrtle, but it was extended alongside her back. What he did wouldn't justify a girl saying, “Sir!” but it definitely caused a real scandal with Fred and Eustace. They figured that the only way to get back at her was to go home without saying "Good Night." So they slipped out the side door, shivering with indignation.
After that, for several Weeks, Gus kept Myrtle so Busy that she had no Time to think of considering other Candidates. He sent Books to her Mother, and allowed the Old Gentleman to take Chips away from him at Poker.
After that, for several weeks, Gus kept Myrtle so busy that she had no time to think about other candidates. He sent books to her mom and let the old guy take chips away from him at poker.
They were Married in the Autumn, and Father-in-Law took Gus into the Firm, saying that he had needed a good Pusher for a Long Time.
They got married in the fall, and Father-in-Law brought Gus into the company, saying that he had needed a good Pusher for a long time.
At the Wedding the two Mandolin Players were permitted to act as Ushers.
At the wedding, the two mandolin players were allowed to serve as ushers.
MORAL: To get a fair Trial of Speed use a Pace-Maker.
MORAL: To have a fair test of speed, use a pace-setter.
THE FABLE OF THE PREACHER WHO FLEW HIS KITE,
BUT NOT BECAUSE HE WISHED TO DO SO
By GEORGE ADE
Copyright 1899 by Herbert S. Stone & Co.
Copyright 1899 by Herbert S. Stone & Co.
A certain Preacher became wise to the Fact that he was not making a Hit with his Congregation. The Parishioners did not seem inclined to seek him out after Services and tell him he was a Pansy. He suspected that they were Rapping him on the Quiet. The Preacher knew there must be something wrong with his Talk. He had been trying to Expound in a clear and straightforward Manner, omitting Foreign Quotations, setting up for illustration of his Points such Historical Characters as were familiar to his Hearers, putting the stubby Old English words ahead of the Latin, and rather flying low along the Intellectual Plane of the Aggregation that chipped in to pay his Salary. But the Pew-Holders were not tickled. They could Understand everything he said, and they began to think he was Common.
A certain preacher realized he wasn't connecting with his congregation. The church members didn't seem interested in approaching him after services to tell him he was weak. He suspected they were quietly mocking him. The preacher knew there had to be something off about his sermons. He had been trying to explain things clearly and directly, avoiding complicated quotes, using historical figures that his audience would recognize, prioritizing simple English over Latin, and keeping his ideas accessible to the group that funded his salary. But the pew holders weren’t impressed. They understood everything he said, and they started to view him as ordinary.
So he studied the Situation and decided that if he wanted to Win them and make everybody believe he was a Nobby and Boss Minister he would have to hand out a little Guff. He fixed it up Good and Plenty.
So he looked at the situation and figured that if he wanted to impress everyone and make them think he was a classy and important minister, he would have to spread some nonsense. He set it up really well.
On the following Sunday Morning he got up in the Lookout and read a Text that didn't mean anything, read from either Direction, and then he sized up his Flock with a Dreamy Eye and said: "We can not more adequately voice the Poetry and Mysticism of our Text than in those familiar Lines of the great Icelandic Poet, Ikon Navrojk:
On the following Sunday morning, he got up in the Lookout and read a text that didn't mean anything, no matter which way you looked at it, and then he sized up his flock with a dreamy eye and said: "We can’t express the poetry and mysticism of our text any better than in those familiar lines of the great Icelandic poet, Ikon Navrojk:
"To hold is not to have—
Under the seared Firmament,
Where Chaos sweeps, and Vast Futurity
Sneers at these puny Aspirations—
There is the full Reprisal."
"To hold is not to have—
Under the scorched sky,
Where chaos reigns, and endless future
Mocks these small ambitions—
There is the complete revenge."
When the Preacher concluded this Extract from the Well-Known Icelandic Poet he paused and looked downward, breathing heavily through his Nose, like Camille in the Third Act.
When the Preacher finished this excerpt from the famous Icelandic poet, he paused and looked down, breathing heavily through his nose, like Camille in the third act.
A Stout Woman in the Front Row put on her Eye-Glasses and leaned forward so as not to miss Anything. A Venerable Harness Dealer over at the Right nodded his Head solemnly. He seemed to recognize the Quotation. Members of the Congregation glanced at one another as if to say: "This is certainly Hot Stuff!"
A sturdy woman in the front row put on her glasses and leaned forward so she wouldn’t miss a thing. An elderly harness dealer on the right nodded his head seriously. He seemed to recognize the quote. Members of the congregation looked at each other as if to say, "This is definitely exciting!"
The Preacher wiped his Brow and said he had no Doubt that every one within the Sound of his Voice remembered what Quarolius had said, following the same Line of Thought. It was Quarolius who disputed the Contention of the great Persian Theologian Ramtazuk, that the Soul in its reaching out after the Unknowable was guided by the Spiritual Genesis of Motive rather than by mere Impulse of Mentality. The Preacher didn't know what all This meant, and he didn't care, but you can rest easy that the Pew-Holders were On in a minute. He talked it off in just the Way that Cyrano talks when he gets Roxane so Dizzy that she nearly falls off the Piazza.
The Preacher wiped his brow and said he was sure that everyone within the sound of his voice remembered what Quarolius had said, following the same line of thought. It was Quarolius who challenged the argument of the great Persian theologian Ramtazuk, who claimed that the soul, in its quest for the unknowable, was driven by spiritual motivation rather than just mental impulse. The Preacher didn’t really understand what all this meant, and he didn’t care, but you can be sure the congregation was engaged in no time. He talked about it in the same way Cyrano does when he makes Roxane so dizzy that she almost falls off the balcony.
The Parishioners bit their Lower Lips and hungered for more First-Class Language. They had paid their Money for Tall Talk and were prepared to solve any and all styles of Delivery. They held on to the Cushions and seemed to be having a Nice Time.
The parishioners bit their lower lips and craved more high-quality conversation. They had paid for eloquent speech and were ready to handle any and all types of delivery. They clutched the cushions and looked like they were having a good time.
The Preacher quoted copiously from the Great Poet Amebius. He recited 18 lines of Greek and then said: "How true this is!" And not a Parishioner batted an Eye.
The Preacher quoted extensively from the Great Poet Amebius. He recited 18 lines of Greek and then said, "How true this is!" And not a single Parishioner blinked.
It was Amebius whose Immortal Lines he recited in order to prove the Extreme Error of the Position assumed in the Controversy by the Famous Italian, Polenta.
It was Amebius whose Immortal Lines he recited to demonstrate the Major Flaw in the Argument made in the Debate by the Renowned Italian, Polenta.
He had them Going, and there wasn't a Thing to it. When he would get tired of faking Philosophy he would quote from a Celebrated Poet of Ecuador or Tasmania or some other Seaport Town. Compared with this Verse, all of which was of the same School as the Icelandic Masterpiece, the most obscure and clouded Passage in Robert Browning was like a Plate-Glass Front in a State Street Candy Store just after the Colored Boy gets through using the Chamois.
He had them going, and it was easy. Whenever he got tired of pretending to be philosophical, he would quote from a famous poet from Ecuador, Tasmania, or some other port town. Compared to this verse, which all belonged to the same style as the Icelandic masterpiece, the most confusing and complicated lines in Robert Browning felt as clear as a plate-glass window in a State Street candy store right after the kid finished polishing it.
After that he became Eloquent, and began to get rid of long Boston Words that hadn't been used before that Season. He grabbed a rhetorical Roman Candle in each Hand and you couldn't see him for the Sparks.
After that, he became articulate and started to drop the long Boston words that hadn’t been used that season. He grabbed a rhetorical Roman candle in each hand, and you couldn’t see him for the sparks.
After which he sank his Voice to a Whisper and talked about the Birds and the Flowers. Then, although there was no Cue for him to Weep, he shed a few real Tears. And there wasn't a dry Glove in the church.
After that, he lowered his voice to a whisper and talked about the birds and the flowers. Then, even though there was no reason for him to cry, he shed a few real tears. And there wasn't a dry glove in the church.
After he sat down he could tell by the Scared Look of the People in Front that he had made a Ten-Strike.
After he sat down, he could see by the scared expressions on the faces of the people in front of him that he had hit the jackpot.
Did they give him the Joyous Palm that Day? Sure!
Did they give him the Joyous Palm that day? Absolutely!
The Stout Lady could not control her Feelings when she told how much the Sermon had helped her. The venerable Harness Dealer said he wished to indorse the Able and Scholarly Criticism of Polenta.
The Stout Lady couldn't hold back her emotions when she talked about how much the sermon had helped her. The respected Harness Dealer said he wanted to support the impressive and knowledgeable critique of Polenta.
In fact, every one said the Sermon was Superfine and Dandy. The only thing that worried the Congregation was the Fear that if it wished to retain such a Whale it might have to boost his Salary.
In fact, everyone said the sermon was amazing and great. The only thing that concerned the congregation was the fear that if they wanted to keep such a great preacher, they might have to raise his salary.
In the Meantime the Preacher waited for some one to come and ask about Polenta, Amebius, Ramtazuk, Quarolius and the great Icelandic Poet, Navrojk. But no one had the Face to step up and confess his Ignorance of these Celebrities. The Pew-Holders didn't even admit among themselves that the Preacher had rung in some New Ones. They stood Pat, and merely said it was an Elegant Sermon.
In the meantime, the preacher waited for someone to come and ask about Polenta, Amebius, Ramtazuk, Quarolius, and the great Icelandic poet, Navrojk. But no one had the nerve to step up and admit they didn’t know who these celebrities were. The pew holders didn’t even acknowledge to each other that the preacher had introduced some new names. They just stood their ground and said it was an elegant sermon.
Perceiving that they would stand for Anything, the Preacher knew what to do after that.
Seeing that they would support anything, the Preacher knew what to do next.
MORAL: Give the People what they Think they want.
MORAL: Give the People what they believe they want.
THE SHADOWS ON THE WALL
By MARY E. WILKINS FREEMAN
Copyright 1903 by Doubleday, Page & Co.
Copyright 1903 by Doubleday, Page & Co.
"Henry had words with Edward in the study the night before Edward died," said Caroline Glynn. She was elderly, tall, and harshly thin, with a hard colourlessness of face. She spoke not with acrimony, but with grave severity. Rebecca Ann Glynn, younger, stouter and rosy of face between her crinkling puffs of gray hair, gasped, by way of assent. She sat in a wide flounce of black silk in the corner of the sofa, and rolled terrified eyes from her sister Caroline to her sister Mrs. Stephen Brigham, who had been Emma Glynn, the one beauty of the family. She was beautiful still, with a large, splendid, full-blown beauty; she filled a great rocking-chair with her superb bulk of femininity, and swayed gently back and forth, her black silks whispering and her black frills fluttering. Even the shock of death (for her brother Edward lay dead in the house,) could not disturb her outward serenity of demeanour. She was grieved over the loss of her brother: he had been the youngest, and she had been fond of him, but never had Emma Brigham lost sight of her own importance amidst the waters of tribulation. She was always awake to the consciousness of her own stability in the midst of vicissitudes and the splendour of her permanent bearing.
"Henry had an argument with Edward in the study the night before Edward died," Caroline Glynn said. She was elderly, tall, and very thin, with a pale, colorless face. She spoke not with bitterness, but with serious intensity. Rebecca Ann Glynn, younger, plumper, and rosy-cheeked with her graying hair in soft curls, gasped in agreement. She sat in a sweeping flounce of black silk in the corner of the sofa, rolling her terrified eyes from her sister Caroline to her sister Mrs. Stephen Brigham, who had been Emma Glynn, the family's one beauty. She was still beautiful, with a large, radiant, full-blown beauty; she filled a large rocking chair with her impressive femininity, gently swaying back and forth, her black silks whispering and her black frills fluttering. Even the shock of death (since her brother Edward lay dead in the house) couldn’t disrupt her outward calm. She was saddened by the loss of her brother; he had been the youngest, and she had cared for him, but Emma Brigham never lost sight of her own importance amidst the challenges. She always remained aware of her own stability in the face of adversity and the brilliance of her permanent presence.
But even her expression of masterly placidity changed before her sister Caroline's announcement and her sister Rebecca Ann's gasp of terror and distress in response.
But even her calm expression changed when her sister Caroline announced something, followed by her sister Rebecca Ann's gasp of fear and distress in reaction.
"I think Henry might have controlled his temper, when poor Edward was so near his end," said she with an asperity which disturbed slightly the roseate curves of her beautiful mouth.
"I think Henry could have kept his cool when poor Edward was so close to the end," she said with a sharpness that slightly disrupted the rosy curves of her beautiful mouth.
"Of course he did not know," murmured Rebecca Ann in a faint tone strangely out of keeping with her appearance.
"Of course he didn't know," whispered Rebecca Ann in a soft voice that felt oddly mismatched with her appearance.
One involuntarily looked again to be sure that such a feeble pipe came from that full-swelling chest.
One couldn't help but look again to confirm that such a weak sound came from that strong chest.
"Of course he did not know it," said Caroline quickly. She turned on her sister with a strange sharp look of suspicion. "How could he have known it?" said she. Then she shrank as if from the other's possible answer. "Of course you and I both know he could not," said she conclusively, but her pale face was paler than it had been before.
"Of course he didn't know," Caroline said quickly. She shot her sister a sharp look of suspicion. "How could he have known?" she asked. Then she recoiled as if anticipating the other's possible answer. "Of course you and I both know he couldn't," she concluded, but her pale face was even paler than before.
Rebecca gasped again. The married sister, Mrs. Emma Brigham, was now sitting up straight in her chair; she had ceased rocking, and was eyeing them both intently with a sudden accentuation of family likeness in her face. Given one common intensity of emotion and similar lines showed forth, and the three sisters of one race were evident.
Rebecca gasped again. The married sister, Mrs. Emma Brigham, was now sitting up straight in her chair; she had stopped rocking and was staring at them both intently, with a sudden strong resemblance to her family in her expression. With a shared intensity of emotion, the similar features were more noticeable, making it clear that the three sisters came from the same lineage.
"What do you mean?" said she impartially to them both. Then she, too, seemed to shrink before a possible answer. She even laughed an evasive sort of laugh. "I guess you don't mean anything," said she, but her face wore still the expression of shrinking horror.
"What do you mean?" she asked them both without taking sides. Then she also seemed to pull back from a possible answer. She even gave a nervous sort of laugh. "I guess you don't mean anything," she said, but her face still showed a look of creeping horror.
"Nobody means anything," said Caroline firmly. She rose and crossed the room toward the door with grim decisiveness.
"Nobody matters," Caroline said firmly. She got up and walked across the room toward the door with a determined expression.
"Where are you going?" asked Mrs. Brigham.
"Where are you headed?" asked Mrs. Brigham.
"I have something to see to," replied Caroline, and the others at once knew by her tone that she had some solemn and sad duty to perform in the chamber of death.
"I have something to take care of," replied Caroline, and the others immediately sensed from her tone that she had a serious and sorrowful task to fulfill in the room of death.
"Oh," said Mrs. Brigham.
"Oh," said Mrs. Brigham.
After the door had closed behind Caroline, she turned to Rebecca.
After Caroline closed the door behind her, she turned to Rebecca.
"Did Henry have many words with him?" she asked.
"Did Henry talk to him a lot?" she asked.
"They were talking very loud," replied Rebecca evasively, yet with an answering gleam of ready response to the other's curiosity in the quick lift of her soft blue eyes.
"They were talking really loud," Rebecca replied evasively, but there was a quick spark of readiness in her soft blue eyes that answered the other person's curiosity.
Mrs. Brigham looked at her. She had not resumed rocking. She still sat up straight with a slight knit of intensity on her fair forehead, between the pretty rippling curves of her auburn hair.
Mrs. Brigham looked at her. She hadn’t started rocking again. She continued to sit up straight with a slight frown of concentration on her light forehead, between the pretty, wavy strands of her auburn hair.
"Did you—hear anything?" she asked in a low voice with a glance toward the door.
"Did you—hear anything?" she asked softly, glancing toward the door.
"I was just across the hall in the south parlour, and that door was open and this door ajar," replied Rebecca with a slight flush.
"I was just across the hall in the south parlor, and that door was open and this one was slightly ajar," replied Rebecca with a slight blush.
"Then you must have——"
"Then you must have—"
"I couldn't help it."
"I couldn't help myself."
"Everything?"
"All of it?"
"Most of it."
"Most of it."
"What was it?"
"What was that?"
"The old story."
"The classic story."
"I suppose Henry was mad, as he always was, because Edward was living on here for nothing, when he had wasted all the money father left him."
"I guess Henry was upset, as usual, because Edward was staying here for free after blowing all the money Dad left him."
Rebecca nodded with a fearful glance at the door.
Rebecca nodded, casting a worried look at the door.
When Emma spoke again her voice was still more hushed. "I know how he felt," said she. "He had always been so prudent himself, and worked hard at his profession, and there Edward had never done anything but spend, and it must have looked to him as if Edward was living at his expense, but he wasn't."
When Emma spoke again, her voice was even quieter. "I get how he felt," she said. "He had always been so careful and worked hard at his job, while Edward had only ever spent money. It must’ve seemed to him like Edward was living off him, but he wasn’t."
"No, he wasn't."
"No, he wasn't."
"It was the way father left the property—that all the children should have a home here—and he left money enough to buy the food and all if we had all come home."
"It was how Dad left the property—so that all the kids would have a place here—and he left enough money to buy food and everything if we all came home."
"Yes."
Yes.
"And Edward had a right here according to the terms of father's will, and Henry ought to have remembered it."
"And Edward had a rightful claim here based on the terms of Dad's will, and Henry should have kept that in mind."
"Yes, he ought."
"Yeah, he should."
"Did he say hard things?"
"Did he say harsh things?"
"Pretty hard from what I heard."
"Sounds pretty tough from what I've heard."
"What?"
"What?"
"I heard him tell Edward that he had no business here at all, and he thought he had better go away."
"I heard him tell Edward that he didn't belong here at all and thought it would be best for him to leave."
"What did Edward say?"
"What did Edward say?"
"That he would stay here as long as he lived and afterward, too, if he was a mind to, and he would like to see Henry get him out; and then——"
"That he would stay here for as long as he lived and even later if he wanted to, and he would love to see Henry figure a way to get him out; and then——"
"What?"
"What?"
"Then he laughed."
"Then he laughed."
"What did Henry say?"
"What did Henry say?"
"I didn't hear him say anything, but——"
"I didn't hear him say anything, but——"
"But what?"
"But why?"
"I saw him when he came out of this room."
"I saw him when he walked out of this room."
"He looked mad?"
"Did he look angry?"
"You've seen him when he looked so."
"You've seen him when he looked like that."
Emma nodded; the expression of horror on her face had deepened.
Emma nodded; the look of horror on her face had intensified.
"Do you remember that time he killed the cat because she had scratched him?"
"Do you remember that time he killed the cat because she scratched him?"
"Yes. Don't!"
"Yes. Don't!"
Then Caroline reëntered the room. She went up to the stove in which a wood fire was burning—it was a cold, gloomy day of fall—and she warmed her hands, which were reddened from recent washing in cold water.
Then Caroline re-entered the room. She walked over to the stove where a wood fire was burning—it was a chilly, gloomy fall day—and she warmed her hands, which were reddened from washing them in cold water.
Mrs. Brigham looked at her and hesitated. She glanced at the door, which was still ajar, as it did not easily shut, being still swollen with the damp weather of the summer. She rose and pushed it together with a sharp thud, which jarred the house. Rebecca started painfully with a half exclamation.
Mrs. Brigham looked at her and hesitated. She glanced at the door, which was still partly open since it didn’t close properly, still swollen from the damp summer weather. She stood up and slammed it shut with a loud thud that shook the house. Rebecca flinched painfully with a half exclamation.
Caroline looked at her disapprovingly.
Caroline gave her a disapproving look.
"It is time you controlled your nerves, Rebecca," said she.
"It’s time you got a grip on your nerves, Rebecca," she said.
"I can't help it," replied Rebecca with almost a wail. "I am nervous. There's enough to make me so, the Lord knows."
"I can't help it," replied Rebecca with nearly a cry. "I'm nervous. There's plenty to make me that way, you know."
"What do you mean by that?" asked Caroline with her old air of sharp suspicion, and something between challenge and dread of its being met.
"What do you mean by that?" Caroline asked, her familiar tone of sharp suspicion mixed with a blend of challenge and fear about how it would be answered.
Rebecca shrank.
Rebecca got smaller.
"Nothing," said she.
"Nothing," she said.
"Then I wouldn't keep speaking in such a fashion."
"Then I wouldn't keep talking like that."
Emma, returning from the closed door, said imperiously that it ought to be fixed, it shut so hard.
Emma, coming back from the closed door, said firmly that it needed to be fixed; it slammed shut so hard.
"It will shrink enough after we have had the fire a few days," replied Caroline. "If anything is done to it it will be too small; there will be a crack at the sill."
"It will shrink enough after we have had the fire going for a few days," replied Caroline. "If we do anything to it, it will end up being too small; there will be a gap at the sill."
"I think Henry ought to be ashamed of himself for talking as he did to Edward," said Mrs. Brigham abruptly, but in an almost inaudible voice.
"I think Henry should be ashamed of himself for the way he spoke to Edward," Mrs. Brigham said abruptly, but in a voice that was almost inaudible.
"Hush!" said Caroline, with a glance of actual fear at the closed door.
"Hush!" Caroline said, glancing at the closed door with genuine fear.
"Nobody can hear with the door shut."
"Nobody can hear with the door closed."
"He must have heard it shut, and——"
"He must have heard it close, and——"
"Well, I can say what I want to before he comes down, and I am not afraid of him."
"Well, I can say what I want to before he comes down, and I'm not scared of him."
"I don't know who is afraid of him! What reason is there for anybody to be afraid of Henry?" demanded Caroline.
"I don't know why anyone is afraid of him! What reason is there for anyone to be scared of Henry?" Caroline asked.
Mrs. Brigham trembled before her sister's look. Rebecca gasped again. "There isn't any reason, of course. Why should there be?"
Mrs. Brigham shook at her sister's gaze. Rebecca inhaled sharply again. "There’s no reason, obviously. Why would there be?"
"I wouldn't speak so, then. Somebody might overhear you and think it was queer. Miranda Joy is in the south parlour sewing, you know."
"I wouldn't say that. Someone might overhear you and think it's strange. Miranda Joy is in the south parlor sewing, just so you know."
"I thought she went upstairs to stitch on the machine."
"I thought she went upstairs to sew on the machine."
"She did, but she has come down again."
"She did, but she’s come back down again."
"Well, she can't hear."
"Well, she can't hear me."
"I say again, I think Henry ought to be ashamed of himself. I shouldn't think he'd ever get over it, having words with poor Edward the very night before he died. Edward was enough sight better disposition than Henry, with all his faults. I always thought a great deal of poor Edward, myself."
"I'll say it again, I think Henry should be ashamed of himself. I can't believe he'd ever get over it, arguing with poor Edward the very night before he died. Edward had a much better temperament than Henry, despite all his flaws. I always had a lot of respect for poor Edward, personally."
Mrs. Brigham passed a large fluff of handkerchief across her eyes; Rebecca sobbed outright.
Mrs. Brigham wiped her eyes with a big handkerchief; Rebecca cried loudly.
"Rebecca," said Caroline admonishingly, keeping her mouth stiff and swallowing determinately.
"Rebecca," Caroline said sternly, keeping her mouth tight and swallowing resolutely.
"I never heard him speak a cross word, unless he spoke cross to Henry that last night. I don't know but he did, from what Rebecca overheard," said Emma.
"I never heard him say a harsh word, unless he was harsh to Henry that last night. I can't be sure, but it sounds like he might have, based on what Rebecca overheard," said Emma.
"Not so much cross as sort of soft, and sweet, and aggravating," sniffled Rebecca.
"Not really cross, more like soft, sweet, and annoying," sniffled Rebecca.
"He never raised his voice," said Caroline; "but he had his way."
"He never raised his voice," Caroline said, "but he always got his way."
"He had a right to in this case."
"He had a right to in this situation."
"Yes, he did."
"Yeah, he did."
"He had as much of a right here as Henry," sobbed Rebecca, "and now he's gone, and he will never be in this home that poor father left him and the rest of us again."
"He had just as much of a right here as Henry," cried Rebecca, "and now he's gone, and he will never be in this home that poor dad left him and the rest of us again."
"What do you really think ailed Edward?" asked Emma in hardly more than a whisper. She did not look at her sister.
"What do you really think was wrong with Edward?" asked Emma in just above a whisper. She didn’t look at her sister.
Caroline sat down in a nearby armchair, and clutched the arms convulsively until her thin knuckles whitened.
Caroline sat down in a nearby armchair and gripped the arms tightly until her thin knuckles turned white.
"I told you," said she.
"I told you," she said.
Rebecca held her handkerchief over her mouth, and looked at them above it with terrified, streaming eyes.
Rebecca held her handkerchief over her mouth and looked at them over it with terrified, streaming eyes.
"I know you said that he had terrible pains in his stomach, and had spasms, but what do you think made him have them?"
"I know you said he had awful stomach pains and spasms, but what do you think caused them?"
"Henry called it gastric trouble. You know Edward has always had dyspepsia."
"Henry referred to it as stomach issues. You know Edward has always struggled with indigestion."
Mrs. Brigham hesitated a moment. "Was there any talk of an—examination?" said she.
Mrs. Brigham hesitated for a moment. "Was there any talk of an—exam?" she asked.
Then Caroline turned on her fiercely.
Then Caroline snapped at her fiercely.
"No," said she in a terrible voice. "No."
"No," she said in a horrible voice. "No."
The three sisters' souls seemed to meet on one common ground of terrified understanding through their eyes. The old-fashioned latch of the door was heard to rattle, and a push from without made the door shake ineffectually. "It's Henry," Rebecca sighed rather than whispered. Mrs. Brigham settled herself after a noiseless rush. Across the floor into her rocking-chair again, and was swaying back and forth with her head comfortably leaning back, when the door at last yielded and Henry Glynn entered. He cast a covertly sharp, comprehensive glance at Mrs. Brigham with her elaborate calm; at Rebecca quietly huddled in the corner of the sofa with her handkerchief to her face and only one small reddened ear as attentive as a dog's uncovered and revealing her alertness for his presence; at Caroline sitting with a strained composure in her armchair by the stove. She met his eyes quite firmly with a look of inscrutable fear, and defiance of the fear and of him.
The three sisters' souls seemed to connect on a shared level of terrified understanding through their eyes. The old-fashioned latch on the door rattled, and a push from outside made the door shake uselessly. "It's Henry," Rebecca sighed more than whispered. Mrs. Brigham settled herself after a silent rush. She moved back to her rocking chair, swaying gently with her head comfortably tilted back, when the door finally opened and Henry Glynn walked in. He shot a quick, sharp glance at Mrs. Brigham, noticing her composed demeanor; at Rebecca, huddled quietly in the corner of the sofa with her handkerchief to her face, only one small reddened ear alert like a dog waiting for attention; and at Caroline, who sat with a tense composure in her armchair by the stove. She met his gaze firmly, her expression a mix of inscrutable fear and defiance towards both the fear and him.
Henry Glynn looked more like this sister than the others. Both had the same hard delicacy of form and feature, both were tall and almost emaciated, both had a sparse growth of gray blond hair far back from high intellectual foreheads, both had an almost noble aquilinity of feature. They confronted each other with the pitiless immovability of two statues in whose marble lineaments emotions were fixed for all eternity.
Henry Glynn resembled his sister more than the others did. They both shared the same fragile delicacy in their shape and features, were tall and nearly gaunt, had a thin layer of gray-blond hair pulled far back from their high, intellectual foreheads, and both exhibited a nearly noble angularity in their features. They faced each other with the unyielding stillness of two statues, their marble expressions set in a fixed emotional state for all eternity.
Then Henry Glynn smiled and the smile transformed his face. He looked suddenly years younger, and an almost boyish recklessness and irresolution appeared in his face. He flung himself into a chair with a gesture which was bewildering from its incongruity with his general appearance. He leaned his head back, flung one leg over the other, and looked laughingly at Mrs. Brigham.
Then Henry Glynn smiled, and the smile changed his face completely. He suddenly looked years younger, with a nearly boyish daring and uncertainty showing on his face. He threw himself into a chair with a movement that was surprising given his usual demeanor. He leaned his head back, crossed one leg over the other, and looked at Mrs. Brigham with a laugh.
"I declare, Emma, you grow younger every year," he said.
"I swear, Emma, you get younger every year," he said.
She flushed a little, and her placid mouth widened at the corners. She was susceptible to praise.
She blushed slightly, and the corners of her calm mouth turned up. She was easily influenced by compliments.
"Our thoughts to-day ought to belong to the one of us who will never grow older," said Caroline in a hard voice.
"Our thoughts today should be with the one of us who will never grow older," said Caroline in a harsh tone.
Henry looked at her, still smiling. "Of course, we none of us forget that," said he, in a deep, gentle voice, "but we have to speak to the living, Caroline, and I have not seen Emma for a long time, and the living are as dear as the dead."
Henry looked at her, still smiling. "Of course, none of us forget that," he said in a deep, gentle voice, "but we need to talk to the living, Caroline, and I haven't seen Emma for a long time, and the living matter just as much as the dead."
"Not to me," said Caroline.
"Not to me," Caroline said.
She rose, and went abruptly out of the room again. Rebecca also rose and hurried after her, sobbing loudly.
She got up and quickly left the room again. Rebecca also got up and rushed after her, crying loudly.
Henry looked slowly after them.
Henry watched them slowly leave.
"Caroline is completely unstrung," said he.
"Caroline is totally on edge," he said.
Mrs. Brigham rocked. A confidence in him inspired by his manner was stealing over her. Out of that confidence she spoke quite easily and naturally.
Mrs. Brigham rocked. A confidence in him, inspired by his demeanor, was growing within her. From that confidence, she spoke quite easily and naturally.
"His death was very sudden," said she.
"His death was really unexpected," she said.
Henry's eyelids quivered slightly but his gaze was unswerving.
Henry's eyelids twitched a bit, but his stare was unwavering.
"Yes," said he; "it was very sudden. He was sick only a few hours."
"Yeah," he said. "It was really sudden. He was only sick for a few hours."
"What did you call it?"
"What do you call it?"
"Gastric."
"Gastropub."
"You did not think of an examination?"
"You didn't think about an exam?"
"There was no need. I am perfectly certain as to the cause of his death."
"There was no need. I am completely sure about the cause of his death."
Suddenly Mrs. Brigham felt a creep as of some live horror over her very soul. Her flesh prickled with cold, before an inflection of his voice. She rose, tottering on weak knees.
Suddenly, Mrs. Brigham felt a shiver of real terror run through her. Her skin crawled with a cold dread at the tone of his voice. She got up, unsteady on her shaky legs.
"Where are you going?" asked Henry in a strange, breathless voice.
"Where are you going?" Henry asked in a weird, breathless voice.
Mrs. Brigham said something incoherent about some sewing which she had to do, some black for the funeral, and was out of the room. She went up to the front chamber which she occupied. Caroline was there. She went close to her and took her hands, and the two sisters looked at each other.
Mrs. Brigham mumbled something unclear about some sewing she had to do, some black for the funeral, and then left the room. She went up to the front bedroom she used. Caroline was there. Mrs. Brigham moved closer to her, took her hands, and the two sisters looked at each other.
"Don't speak, don't, I won't have it!" said Caroline finally in an awful whisper.
"Stop talking, just stop! I can't handle it!" Caroline finally said in a terrible whisper.
"I won't," replied Emma.
"I won't," Emma replied.
That afternoon the three sisters were in the study, the large front room on the ground floor across the hall from the south parlour, when the dusk deepened.
That afternoon, the three sisters were in the study, the big front room on the ground floor across the hall from the south parlor, as the dusk grew darker.
Mrs. Brigham was hemming some black material. She sat close to the west window for the waning light. At last she laid her work on her lap.
Mrs. Brigham was hemming some black fabric. She sat near the west window to catch the fading light. Finally, she placed her work on her lap.
"It's no use, I cannot see to sew another stitch until we have a light," said she.
"It's no use, I can't see to sew another stitch until we have some light," she said.
Caroline, who was writing some letters at the table, turned to Rebecca, in her usual place on the sofa.
Caroline, who was writing some letters at the table, turned to Rebecca, in her usual spot on the sofa.
"Rebecca, you had better get a lamp," she said.
"Rebecca, you should get a lamp," she said.
Rebecca started up; even in the dusk her face showed her agitation.
Rebecca jumped; even in the fading light, her face revealed her distress.
"It doesn't seem to me that we need a lamp quite yet," she said in a piteous, pleading voice like a child's.
"It doesn't seem we need a lamp just yet," she said in a pitiful, pleading voice like a child's.
"Yes, we do," returned Mrs. Brigham peremptorily. "We must have a light. I must finish this to-night or I can't go to the funeral, and I can't see to sew another stitch."
"Yes, we do," Mrs. Brigham replied firmly. "We need a light. I have to finish this tonight or I can't go to the funeral, and I can't see to sew another stitch."
"Caroline can see to write letters, and she is farther from the window than you are," said Rebecca.
"Caroline can see to write letters, and she’s further from the window than you are," said Rebecca.
"Are you trying to save kerosene or are you lazy, Rebecca Glynn?" cried Mrs. Brigham. "I can go and get the light myself, but I have this work all in my lap."
"Are you trying to save kerosene or are you just being lazy, Rebecca Glynn?" shouted Mrs. Brigham. "I can go get the light myself, but I have all this work in my lap."
Caroline's pen stopped scratching.
Caroline's pen stopped writing.
"Rebecca, we must have the light," said she.
"Rebecca, we need the light," she said.
"Had we better have it in here?" asked Rebecca weakly.
"Should we have it in here?" asked Rebecca quietly.
"Of course! Why not?" cried Caroline sternly.
"Of course! Why not?" Caroline said firmly.
"I am sure I don't want to take my sewing into the other room, when it is all cleaned up for to-morrow," said Mrs. Brigham.
"I definitely don't want to take my sewing into the other room when everything is all cleaned up for tomorrow," said Mrs. Brigham.
"Why, I never heard such a to-do about lighting a lamp."
"Wow, I've never heard such a fuss about lighting a lamp."
Rebecca rose and left the room. Presently she entered with a lamp—a large one with a white porcelain shade. She set it on a table, an old-fashioned card-table which was placed against the opposite wall from the window. That wall was clear of bookcases and books, which were only on three sides of the room. That opposite wall was taken up with three doors, the one small space being occupied by the table. Above the table on the old-fashioned paper, of a white satin gloss, traversed by an indeterminate green scroll, hung quite high a small gilt and black-framed ivory miniature taken in her girlhood of the mother of the family. When the lamp was set on the table beneath it, the tiny pretty face painted on the ivory seemed to gleam out with a look of intelligence.
Rebecca got up and left the room. Soon, she came back with a lamp—a big one with a white porcelain shade. She placed it on a table, an old-fashioned card table situated against the wall opposite the window. That wall didn't have any bookcases or books, which were only on three sides of the room. The opposite wall was taken up by three doors, with the little space occupied by the table. Above the table, on the old-fashioned wallpaper with a white satin finish and an unclear green scroll pattern, hung a small gilt and black-framed ivory miniature from her childhood of the family's mother. When the lamp was set on the table underneath it, the tiny, pretty face painted on the ivory seemed to glow with a look of intelligence.
"What have you put that lamp over there for?" asked Mrs. Brigham, with more of impatience than her voice usually revealed. "Why didn't you set it in the hall and have done with it? Neither Caroline nor I can see if it is on that table."
"What did you put that lamp over there for?" asked Mrs. Brigham, sounding more impatient than usual. "Why didn't you just set it in the hall and be done with it? Neither Caroline nor I can see it if it's on that table."
"I thought perhaps you would move," replied Rebecca hoarsely.
"I thought maybe you would move," replied Rebecca hoarsely.
"If I do move, we can't both sit at that table. Caroline has her paper all spread around. Why don't you set the lamp on the study table in the middle of the room, then we can both see?"
"If I move, we can't both fit at that table. Caroline has her papers all over the place. Why don't you put the lamp on the study table in the middle of the room so we can both see?"
Rebecca hesitated. Her face was very pale. She looked with an appeal that was fairly agonizing at her sister Caroline.
Rebecca hesitated. Her face was very pale. She looked at her sister Caroline with a pleading expression that was almost heartbreaking.
"Why don't you put the lamp on this table, as she says?" asked Caroline, almost fiercely. "Why do you act so, Rebecca?"
"Why don't you put the lamp on this table, like she said?" Caroline asked, almost angrily. "Why are you acting like this, Rebecca?"
"I should think you would ask her that," said Mrs. Brigham. "She doesn't act like herself at all."
"I think you should ask her that," Mrs. Brigham said. "She doesn't seem like herself at all."
Rebecca took the lamp and set it on the table in the middle of the room without another word. Then she turned her back upon it quickly and seated herself on the sofa, and placed a hand over her eyes as if to shade them, and remained so.
Rebecca picked up the lamp and put it on the table in the center of the room without saying anything else. Then she quickly turned away from it, sat down on the sofa, and covered her eyes with her hand as if to block the light, and stayed that way.
"Does the light hurt your eyes, and is that the reason why you didn't want the lamp?" asked Mrs. Brigham kindly.
"Does the light hurt your eyes, and is that why you didn't want the lamp?" Mrs. Brigham asked kindly.
"I always like to sit in the dark," replied Rebecca chokingly.
"I always like to sit in the dark," Rebecca replied, her voice trembling.
Then she snatched her handkerchief hastily from her pocket and began to weep. Caroline continued to write, Mrs. Brigham to sew.
Then she quickly grabbed her handkerchief from her pocket and started to cry. Caroline kept writing, while Mrs. Brigham continued to sew.
Suddenly Mrs. Brigham as she sewed glanced at the opposite wall. The glance became a steady stare. She looked intently, her work suspended in her hands. Then she looked away again and took a few more stitches, then she looked again, and again turned to her task. At last she laid her work in her lap and stared concentratedly. She looked from the wall around the room, taking note of the various objects; she looked at the wall long and intently. Then she turned to her sisters.
Suddenly, Mrs. Brigham looked up from her sewing and gazed at the wall across from her. That glance turned into a steady stare. She focused intensely, her work paused in her hands. After a moment, she looked away and took a few more stitches, then glanced back, only to shift her focus to her task again. Finally, she set her work in her lap and stared intently. She examined the wall and the room, noting the different objects; she studied the wall for a long time. Then, she turned to her sisters.
"What is that?" said she.
"What is that?" she asked.
"What?" asked Caroline harshly; her pen scratched loudly across the paper.
"What?" Caroline snapped, her pen scratching loudly against the paper.
Rebecca gave one of her convulsive gasps.
Rebecca let out a sharp gasp.
"That strange shadow on the wall," replied Mrs. Brigham.
"That weird shadow on the wall," replied Mrs. Brigham.
Rebecca sat with her face hidden: Caroline dipped her pen in the inkstand.
Rebecca sat with her face hidden; Caroline dipped her pen into the ink.
"Why don't you turn around and look?" asked Mrs. Brigham in a wondering and somewhat aggrieved way.
"Why don't you turn around and look?" asked Mrs. Brigham, sounding curious and a bit offended.
"I am in a hurry to finish this letter, if Mrs. Wilson Ebbit is going to get word in time to come to the funeral," replied Caroline shortly.
"I need to finish this letter quickly so that Mrs. Wilson Ebbit gets the message in time to come to the funeral," Caroline said abruptly.
Mrs. Brigham rose, her work slipping to the floor, and she began walking around the room, moving various articles of furniture, with her eyes on the shadow.
Mrs. Brigham stood up, her work falling to the floor, and she started walking around the room, rearranging different pieces of furniture, keeping her eyes on the shadow.
Then suddenly she shrieked out:
Then suddenly she screamed:
"Look at this awful shadow! What is it? Caroline, look, look! Rebecca, look! What is it?"
"Check out this terrible shadow! What is it? Caroline, look, look! Rebecca, look! What is it?"
All Mrs. Brigham's triumphant placidity was gone. Her handsome face was livid with horror. She stood stiffly pointing at the shadow.
All of Mrs. Brigham's victorious calm was gone. Her attractive face was pale with terror. She stood rigidly, pointing at the shadow.
"Look!" said she, pointing her finger at it. "Look! What is it?"
"Look!" she said, pointing at it. "Look! What is it?"
Then Rebecca burst out in a wild wail after a shuddering glance at the wall:
Then Rebecca let out a wild wail after a shuddering glance at the wall:
"Oh, Caroline, there it is again! There it is again!"
"Oh, Caroline, there it is again! There it is again!"
"Caroline Glynn, you look!" said Mrs. Brigham. "Look! What is that dreadful shadow?"
"Caroline Glynn, look at you!" said Mrs. Brigham. "What is that awful shadow?"
Caroline rose, turned, and stood confronting the wall.
Caroline got up, turned around, and faced the wall.
"How should I know?" she said.
"How am I supposed to know?" she said.
"It has been there every night since he died," cried Rebecca.—"Every night?"
"It’s been there every night since he died," Rebecca cried. — "Every night?"
"Yes. He died Thursday and this is Saturday; that makes three nights," said Caroline rigidly. She stood as if holding herself calm with a vise of concentrated will.
"Yes. He died on Thursday and this is Saturday; that makes three nights," said Caroline tightly. She stood as if holding herself steady with a grip of focused will.
"It—it looks like—like——" stammered Mrs. Brigham in a tone of intense horror.—"I know what it looks like well enough," said Caroline. "I've got eyes in my head."
"It—it looks like—like——" stammered Mrs. Brigham in a tone of intense horror. —"I know what it looks like well enough," said Caroline. "I've got eyes in my head."
"It looks like Edward," burst out Rebecca in a sort of frenzy of fear. "Only——"
"It looks like Edward," Rebecca exclaimed in a panic. "Only——"
"Yes, it does," assented Mrs. Brigham, whose horror-stricken tone matched her sister's, "only—— Oh, it is awful! What is it, Caroline?"
"Yes, it does," agreed Mrs. Brigham, her horrified tone matching her sister's, "but—oh, it's terrible! What is it, Caroline?"
"I ask you again, how should I know?" replied Caroline. "I see it there like you. How should I know any more than you?"—"It must be something in the room," said Mrs. Brigham, staring wildly around.
"I ask you again, how should I know?" replied Caroline. "I see it there just like you do. How should I know any more than you?" — "It must be something in the room," said Mrs. Brigham, staring wildly around.
"We moved everything in the room the first night it came," said Rebecca; "it is not anything in the room."
"We moved everything in the room the first night it arrived," said Rebecca; "it's not about anything in the room."
Caroline turned upon her with a sort of fury. "Of course it is something in the room," said she. "How you act! What do you mean by talking so? Of course it is something in the room."
Caroline turned to her with a kind of anger. "Of course it’s something in the room," she said. "What’s wrong with you? What do you mean by saying that? Of course it’s something in the room."
"Of course, it is," agreed Mrs. Brigham, looking at Caroline suspiciously. "Of course it must be. It is only a coincidence. It just happens so. Perhaps it is that fold of the window curtain that makes it. It must be something in the room."
"Of course it is," Mrs. Brigham said, eyeing Caroline skeptically. "It definitely has to be. It’s just a coincidence. It just turns out that way. Maybe it’s that fold in the window curtain that causes it. It has to be something in the room."
"It is not anything in the room," repeated Rebecca with obstinate horror.
"It’s not anything in the room," Rebecca repeated with stubborn horror.
The door opened suddenly and Henry Glynn entered.
The door swung open unexpectedly and Henry Glynn walked in.
He began to speak, then his eyes followed the direction of the others'. He stood stock still staring at the shadow on the wall. It was life size and stretched across the white parallelogram of a door, half across the wall space on which the picture hung.
He started to talk, then his eyes tracked where everyone else was looking. He stood completely still, staring at the shadow on the wall. It was life-size and stretched across the white rectangle of the door, almost reaching the wall space where the picture was hanging.
"What is that?" he demanded in a strange voice.
"What is that?" he asked in an unusual tone.
"It must be due to something in the room," Mrs. Brigham said faintly.
"It must be something in the room," Mrs. Brigham said weakly.
"It is not due to anything in the room," said Rebecca again with the shrill insistency of terror.
"It’s not because of anything in the room," Rebecca said again, her voice high with fear.
"How you act, Rebecca Glynn," said Caroline.
"How you behave, Rebecca Glynn," said Caroline.
Henry Glynn stood and stared a moment longer. His face showed a gamut of emotions—horror, conviction, then furious incredulity. Suddenly he began hastening hither and thither about the room. He moved the furniture with fierce jerks, turning ever to see the effect upon the shadow on the wall. Not a line of its terrible outlines wavered.
Henry Glynn stood and stared for a moment longer. His face displayed a range of emotions—horror, determination, then angry disbelief. Suddenly, he started rushing around the room. He moved the furniture violently, constantly turning to check how it changed the shadow on the wall. Not a line of its horrifying shape shifted.
"It must be something in the room!" he declared in a voice which seemed to snap like a lash.
"It has to be something in the room!" he said in a voice that snapped like a whip.
His face changed. The inmost secrecy of his nature seemed evident until one almost lost sight of his lineaments. Rebecca stood close to her sofa, regarding him with woeful, fascinated eyes. Mrs. Brigham clutched Caroline's hand. They both stood in a corner out of his way. For a few moments he raged about the room like a caged wild animal. He moved every piece of furniture; when the moving of a piece did not affect the shadow, he flung it to the floor, the sisters watching.
His expression shifted. The deepest secrets of his character seemed clear, almost overwhelming his features. Rebecca stood by her sofa, watching him with sorrowful, captivated eyes. Mrs. Brigham held Caroline’s hand tightly. They both stood in a corner, trying to stay out of his way. For a few moments, he stormed around the room like a trapped wild animal. He moved every piece of furniture; if moving something didn’t change the shadow, he tossed it to the floor, with the sisters observing.
Then suddenly he desisted. He laughed and began straightening the furniture which he had flung down.
Then suddenly he stopped. He laughed and started putting the furniture he had knocked over back in order.
"What an absurdity," he said easily. "Such a to-do about a shadow."
"What a ridiculous situation," he said casually. "All this fuss over a shadow."
"That's so," assented Mrs. Brigham, in a scared voice which she tried to make natural. As she spoke she lifted a chair near her.
"That's true," agreed Mrs. Brigham, in a scared voice that she tried to make sound natural. As she spoke, she picked up a chair next to her.
"I think you have broken the chair that Edward was so fond of," said Caroline.
"I think you've broken the chair that Edward loved so much," Caroline said.
Terror and wrath were struggling for expression on her face. Her mouth was set, her eyes shrinking. Henry lifted the chair with a show of anxiety.
Terror and anger were battling for control on her face. Her mouth was tight, and her eyes were narrowing. Henry picked up the chair, visibly anxious.
"Just as good as ever," he said pleasantly. He laughed again, looking at his sisters. "Did I scare you?" he said. "I should think you might be used to me by this time. You know my way of wanting to leap to the bottom of a mystery, and that shadow does look—queer, like—and I thought if there was any way of accounting for it I would like to without any delay."—"You don't seem to have succeeded," remarked Caroline dryly, with a slight glance at the wall.
"Just as good as ever," he said cheerfully. He laughed again, looking at his sisters. "Did I scare you?" he asked. "I figured you might be used to me by now. You know how I like to dive straight into a mystery, and that shadow does look strange, so I thought if there was any way to explain it, I'd like to do so right away."—"You don't seem to have succeeded," Caroline said dryly, casting a quick glance at the wall.
Henry's eyes followed hers and he quivered perceptibly.
Henry's eyes tracked hers, and he noticeably trembled.
"Oh, there is no accounting for shadows," he said, and he laughed again. "A man is a fool to try to account for shadows."
"Oh, you can't explain shadows," he said with a laugh again. "A guy is a fool to try to make sense of shadows."
Then the supper bell rang, and they all left the room, but Henry kept his back to the wall, as did, indeed, the others.
Then the dinner bell rang, and everyone left the room, but Henry stayed with his back to the wall, just like the others did.
Mrs. Brigham pressed close to Caroline as she crossed the hall. "He looked like a demon!" she breathed in her ear.
Mrs. Brigham leaned in close to Caroline as she walked through the hall. "He looked like a monster!" she whispered in her ear.
Henry led the way with an alert motion like a boy; Rebecca brought up the rear; she could scarcely walk, her knees trembled so.
Henry took the lead with a quick, youthful energy; Rebecca followed behind; she could barely walk, her knees shook so much.
"I can't sit in that room again this evening," she whispered to Caroline after supper.
"I can't sit in that room again tonight," she whispered to Caroline after dinner.
"Very well, we will sit in the south room," replied Caroline. "I think we will sit in the south parlour," she said aloud; "it isn't as damp as the study, and I have a cold."
"Okay, we'll sit in the south room," Caroline replied. "I think we should sit in the south parlor," she said out loud; "it's not as damp as the study, and I've got a cold."
So they all sat in the south room with their sewing. Henry read the newspaper, his chair drawn close to the lamp on the table. About nine o'clock he rose abruptly and crossed the hall to the study. The three sisters looked at one another. Mrs. Brigham rose, folded her rustling skirts compactly around her, and began tiptoeing toward the door.
So they all sat in the south room with their sewing. Henry read the newspaper, his chair pulled up close to the lamp on the table. About nine o'clock, he suddenly got up and went across the hall to the study. The three sisters looked at each other. Mrs. Brigham stood up, neatly wrapped her rustling skirts around her, and started tiptoeing toward the door.
"What are you going to do?" inquired Rebecca agitatedly.—"I am going to see what he is about," replied Mrs. Brigham cautiously.
"What are you going to do?" Rebecca asked anxiously. — "I'm going to check on what he's up to," Mrs. Brigham replied carefully.
She pointed as she spoke to the study door across the hall; it was ajar. Henry had striven to pull it together behind him, but it had somehow swollen beyond the limit with curious speed. It was still ajar and a streak of light showed from top to bottom. The hall lamp was not lit.
She pointed while talking to the study door across the hall; it was slightly open. Henry had tried to close it behind him, but it had somehow swollen beyond the limit pretty quickly. It was still open, and a streak of light showed from top to bottom. The hall lamp was off.
"You had better stay where you are," said Caroline with guarded sharpness.
"You should stay where you are," Caroline said with a cautious edge.
"I am going to see," repeated Mrs. Brigham firmly.
"I’m going to see," Mrs. Brigham said firmly.
Then she folded her skirts so tightly that her bulk with its swelling curves was revealed in a black silk sheath, and she went with a slow toddle across the hall to the study door. She stood there, her eye at the crack.
Then she tucked her skirts in tightly, showing off her curves in a black silk dress, and she walked slowly across the hall to the study door. She paused there, peering through the crack.
In the south room Rebecca stopped sewing and sat watching with dilated eyes. Caroline sewed steadily. What Mrs. Brigham, standing at the crack in the study door, saw was this:
In the south room, Rebecca paused her sewing and sat watching with wide eyes. Caroline sewed steadily. What Mrs. Brigham, standing at the crack in the study door, observed was this:
Henry Glynn, evidently reasoning that the source of the strange shadow must be between the table on which the lamp stood and the wall, was making systematic passes and thrusts all over and through the intervening space with an old sword which had belonged to his father. Not an inch was left unpierced. He seemed to have divided the space into mathematical sections. He brandished the sword with a sort of cold fury and calculation; the blade gave out flashes of light, the shadow remained unmoved. Mrs. Brigham, watching, felt herself cold with horror.
Henry Glynn, clearly thinking that the source of the strange shadow had to be between the table holding the lamp and the wall, was methodically swinging and thrusting an old sword that had belonged to his father all around the space in between. Not a single inch was left untouched. He seemed to have broken the area into mathematical sections. He waved the sword with a mix of cold anger and precise focus; the blade flashed with light, but the shadow stayed still. Mrs. Brigham watched and felt a chill of horror.
Finally Henry ceased and stood with the sword in hand and raised as if to strike, surveying the shadow on the wall threateningly. Mrs. Brigham toddled back across the hall and shut the south room door behind her before she related what she had seen.
Finally, Henry stopped and stood with the sword in hand, raised as if to strike, glaring at the shadow on the wall. Mrs. Brigham walked back across the hall and closed the south room door behind her before she shared what she had seen.
"He looked like a demon!" she said again. "Have you got any of that old wine in the house, Caroline? I don't feel as if I could stand much more."
"He looked like a demon!" she said again. "Do you have any of that old wine at home, Caroline? I don't think I can handle much more."
Indeed, she looked overcome. Her handsome placid face was worn and strained and pale.
Indeed, she looked overwhelmed. Her striking, calm face appeared worn, strained, and pale.
"Yes, there's plenty," said Caroline; "you can have some when you go to bed."
"Yeah, there’s plenty," Caroline said. "You can have some when you go to bed."
"I think we had all better take some," said Mrs. Brigham.
"I think we should all take some," said Mrs. Brigham.
"Oh, my God, Caroline, what——"
"Oh my god, Caroline, what——"
"Don't ask and don't speak," said Caroline.
"Don't ask and don't talk," said Caroline.
"No, I am not going to," replied Mrs. Brigham; "but——"
"No, I'm not going to," replied Mrs. Brigham; "but——"
Rebecca moaned aloud.
Rebecca groaned loudly.
"What are you doing that for?" asked Caroline harshly.
"What are you doing that for?" Caroline asked sharply.
"Poor Edward," returned Rebecca.
"Poor Edward," replied Rebecca.
"That is all you have to groan for," said Caroline. "There is nothing else."
"That's all you need to complain about," Caroline said. "There's nothing more."
"I am going to bed," said Mrs. Brigham. "I sha'n't be able to be at the funeral if I don't."
"I’m going to bed," said Mrs. Brigham. "I won’t be able to make it to the funeral if I don't."
Soon the three sisters went to their chambers and the south parlour was deserted. Caroline called to Henry in the study to put out the light before he came upstairs. They had been gone about an hour when he came into the room bringing the lamp which had stood in the study. He set it on the table and waited a few minutes, pacing up and down. His face was terrible, his fair complexion showed livid; his blue eyes seemed dark blanks of awful reflections.
Soon the three sisters went to their rooms and the south parlor was empty. Caroline called to Henry in the study to turn off the light before he came upstairs. They had been gone about an hour when he entered the room carrying the lamp that had been in the study. He placed it on the table and waited a few minutes, pacing back and forth. His face looked awful, his fair skin appeared pale; his blue eyes seemed like dark voids of terrifying thoughts.
Then he took the lamp up and returned to the library. He set the lamp on the centre table, and the shadow sprang out on the wall. Again he studied the furniture and moved it about, but deliberately, with none of his former frenzy. Nothing affected the shadow. Then he returned to the south room with the lamp and again waited. Again he returned to the study and placed the lamp on the table, and the shadow sprang out upon the wall. It was midnight before he went upstairs. Mrs. Brigham and the other sisters, who could not sleep, heard him.
Then he picked up the lamp and went back to the library. He set the lamp on the center table, and the shadow stretched out on the wall. Once more, he examined the furniture and rearranged it, but this time he was calm, not in the same frenzy as before. Nothing changed the shadow. After that, he went back to the south room with the lamp and waited again. He returned to the study and put the lamp on the table, and the shadow appeared on the wall. It was midnight by the time he went upstairs. Mrs. Brigham and the other sisters, who were unable to sleep, heard him.
The next day was the funeral. That evening the family sat in the south room. Some relatives were with them. Nobody entered the study until Henry carried a lamp in there after the others had retired for the night. He saw again the shadow on the wall leap to an awful life before the light.
The next day was the funeral. That evening, the family gathered in the south room. Some relatives were with them. No one went into the study until Henry brought a lamp in there after the others had gone to bed for the night. He saw the shadow on the wall spring to a terrifying life before the light.
The next morning at breakfast Henry Glynn announced that he had to go to the city for three days. The sisters looked at him with surprise. He very seldom left home, and just now his practice had been neglected on account of Edward's death. He was a physician.
The next morning at breakfast, Henry Glynn announced that he had to go to the city for three days. The sisters looked at him in surprise. He rarely left home, and his practice had been neglected lately due to Edward's death. He was a doctor.
"How can you leave your patients now?" asked Mrs. Brigham wonderingly.
"How can you leave your patients right now?" Mrs. Brigham asked in surprise.
"I don't know how to, but there is no other way," replied Henry easily. "I have had a telegram from Doctor Mitford."
"I don't know how to, but there’s no other option," Henry replied casually. "I received a telegram from Doctor Mitford."
"Consultation?" inquired Mrs. Brigham.
"Consultation?" asked Mrs. Brigham.
"I have business," replied Henry.
"I have a meeting," replied Henry.
Doctor Mitford was an old classmate of his who lived in a neighbouring city and who occasionally called upon him in the case of a consultation.
Doctor Mitford was an old classmate of his who lived in a nearby city and occasionally visited him for consultations.
After he had gone Mrs. Brigham said to Caroline that after all Henry had not said that he was going to consult with Doctor Mitford, and she thought it very strange.
After he left, Mrs. Brigham told Caroline that Henry never actually said he was going to talk to Doctor Mitford, and she found that really odd.
"Everything is very strange," said Rebecca with a shudder.
"Everything feels really weird," said Rebecca with a shiver.
"What do you mean?" inquired Caroline sharply.
"What do you mean?" Caroline asked sharply.
"Nothing," replied Rebecca.
"Nothing," Rebecca replied.
Nobody entered the library that day, nor the next, nor the next. The third day Henry was expected home, but he did not arrive and the last train from the city had come.
Nobody went into the library that day, or the next, or the one after that. On the third day, Henry was supposed to come home, but he didn’t show up, and the last train from the city had already arrived.
"I call it pretty queer work," said Mrs. Brigham. "The idea of a doctor leaving his patients for three days anyhow, at such a time as this, and I know he has some very sick ones; he said so. And the idea of a consultation lasting three days! There is no sense in it, and now he has not come. I don't understand it, for my part."
"I think it’s really strange," said Mrs. Brigham. "The idea of a doctor abandoning his patients for three days like this, especially when I know he has some very sick ones; he mentioned it. And a consultation lasting three days? It doesn't make any sense, and now he still hasn't shown up. I just don't get it."
"I don't either," said Rebecca.
"I don't either," Rebecca said.
They were all in the south parlour. There was no light in the study opposite, and the door was ajar.
They were all in the south parlor. There were no lights on in the study across from them, and the door was slightly open.
Presently Mrs. Brigham rose—she could not have told why; something seemed to impel her, some will outside her own. She went out of the room, again wrapping her rustling skirts around that she might pass noiselessly, and began pushing at the swollen door of the study.
Presently, Mrs. Brigham stood up—she couldn't say why; something seemed to urge her, some force beyond her control. She left the room, wrapping her rustling skirts around her to move quietly, and started pushing against the swollen door of the study.
"She has not got any lamp," said Rebecca in a shaking voice.
"She doesn't have any lamp," said Rebecca in a trembling voice.
Caroline, who was writing letters, rose again, took a lamp (there were two in the room) and followed her sister. Rebecca had risen, but she stood trembling, not venturing to follow. The doorbell rang, but the others did not hear it; it was on the south door on the other side of the house from the study. Rebecca, after hesitating until the bell rang the second time, went to the door; she remembered that the servant was out.
Caroline, who was writing letters, got up again, grabbed a lamp (there were two in the room), and followed her sister. Rebecca had stood up, but she was shaking, too scared to follow. The doorbell rang, but the others didn’t hear it; it was at the south door on the opposite side of the house from the study. After hesitating until the bell rang a second time, Rebecca went to the door; she remembered that the servant was out.
Caroline and her sister Emma entered the study. Caroline set the lamp on the table. They looked at the wall. "Oh, my God," gasped Mrs. Brigham, "there are—there are two—shadows." The sisters stood clutching each other, staring at the awful things on the wall. Then Rebecca came in, staggering, with a telegram in her hand. "Here is—a telegram," she gasped. "Henry is—dead."
Caroline and her sister Emma walked into the study. Caroline placed the lamp on the table. They glanced at the wall. "Oh my God," Mrs. Brigham gasped, "there are—there are two—shadows." The sisters held onto each other, staring at the terrifying shapes on the wall. Then Rebecca came in, walking a bit unsteadily, holding a telegram in her hand. "Here’s—a telegram," she breathed. "Henry is—dead."
MAJOR PERDUE'S BARGAIN
By JOEL CHANDLER HARRIS
Copyright 1899 by Charles Scribner's Sons.
Copyright 1899 by Charles Scribner's Sons.
When next I had an opportunity to talk with Aunt Minervy Ann, she indulged in a hearty laugh before saying a word, and it was some time before she found her voice.
When I next got the chance to talk with Aunt Minervy Ann, she burst into a big laugh before saying anything, and it took her a while to catch her breath.
"What is so funny to-day?" I inquired.
"What’s so funny today?" I asked.
"Me, suh—nothin' tall 'bout me, an' 'tain't only ter day, nudder. Hit's eve'y day sence I been big 'nuff fer to see myse'f in de spring branch. I laughed den, an' I laugh now eve'y time I see myse'f in my min'—ef I' got any min'. I wuz talkin' ter Hamp las' night an' tellin' 'im how I start in ter tell you sump'n 'bout Marse Paul Conant' shoulder, an' den eend up by tellin' you eve'ything else I know but dat.
"Me, sir—there’s nothing special about me, and it’s not just today, either. It’s every day since I was old enough to see myself in the spring creek. I laughed then, and I still laugh every time I see myself in my mind—if I have any sense. I was talking to Hamp last night and telling him how I started to tell you something about Marse Paul Conant's shoulder, and then ended up telling you everything else I know except that."
"Hamp low, he did, 'Dat ain't nothin', bekaze when I ax you ter marry me, you start in an' tell me 'bout a nigger gal 'cross dar in Jasper County, which she make promise fer ter marry a man an' she crossed her heart; an' den when de time come she stood up an' marry 'im an' fin' out 'tain't de same man, but somebody what she ain't never see' befo'.'
"Hamp said, ‘That’s nothing, because when I asked you to marry me, you started telling me about a Black girl over there in Jasper County, who promised to marry a guy and crossed her heart; and then when the time came, she stood up and married him and found out it wasn’t the same guy, but someone she’d never seen before.’"
"I 'speck dat's so, suh, bekaze dey wuz sump'n like dat happen in Jasper County. You know de Waters fambly—dey kep' race-hosses. Well, suh, 'twuz right on der plantation. Warren Waters tol' me 'bout dat hisse'f. He wuz de hoss-trainer, an' he 'uz right dar on de groun'. When de gal done married, she look up an' holler, 'You ain't my husban', bekaze I ain't make no promise fer ter marry you.' De man he laugh, an' say, 'Don't need no promise atter you done married.'
"I guess that's true, sir, because something like that happened in Jasper County. You know the Waters family—they raised racehorses. Well, it was right on their plantation. Warren Waters told me about it himself. He was the horse trainer, and he was right there on the ground. When the girl got married, she looked up and shouted, 'You aren't my husband because I never promised to marry you.' The man laughed and said, 'You don't need a promise after you've already gotten married.'"
"Well, suh, dey say dat gal wuz skeer'd—skeer'd fer true. She sot on' look in der fire. De man sot an' look at 'er. She try ter slip out de do', an' he slipped wid 'er. She walked to'rds de big house, an' he walkt wid 'er. She come back, an' he come wid 'er. She run an' he run wid 'er. She cry an' he laugh at 'er. She dunner what to do. Bimeby she tuck a notion dat de man mought be de Ol' Boy hisse'f, an' she dropped down on her knees an' 'gun ter pray. Dis make de man restless; look like he frettin'. Den he 'gun ter shake like he havin' chill. Den he slip down out'n de cheer. Down he went on his all-fours. Den his cloze drapped off, an' bless gracious! dar he wuz, a great big black shaggy dog wid a short chain roun' his neck. Some un um flung a chunk of fire at 'im, an' he run out howlin'.
"Well, sir, they say that girl was scared—really scared. She sat there staring into the fire. The man sat and watched her. She tried to slip out the door, and he slipped out with her. She walked toward the big house, and he walked with her. She came back, and he came with her. She ran, and he ran with her. She cried, and he laughed at her. She didn't know what to do. After a while, she thought that the man might be the Devil himself, and she dropped to her knees and started to pray. This made the man restless; he looked like he was worried. Then he started to shake like he was having chills. Then he slipped down out of the chair. Down he went on all fours. Then his clothes dropped off, and goodness gracious! there he was, a great big black shaggy dog with a short chain around his neck. Someone threw a piece of fire at him, and he ran out howling."
"Dat wuz de last dey seed un 'im, suh. Dey flung his cloze in de fire, an' dey make a blaze dat come plum out'n de top er de chimbley stack. Dat what make me tell Hamp 'bout it, suh. He ax me fer ter marry 'im, an' I wan't so mighty sho' dat he wan't de Ol' Boy."
"That was the last day I saw him, sir. They threw his clothes in the fire, and it made a blaze that shot right out of the top of the chimney stack. That's why I told Hamp about it, sir. He asked me to marry him, and I wasn't so sure that he wasn't the Old Boy."
"Well, that is queer, if true," said I, "but how about Mr. Conant's crippled shoulder?"
"Well, that's strange, if it's true," I said, "but what about Mr. Conant's injured shoulder?"
"Oh, it's de trufe, suh. Warren Waters tol' me dat out'n his own mouf, an' he wuz right dar. I dunno but what de gal wuz some er his kinnery. I don't min' tellin' you dat 'bout Marse Paul, suh, but you mustn't let on 'bout it, bekaze Marse Tumlin an' Miss Vallie des' ez tetchous 'bout dat ez dey kin be. I'd never git der fergivunce ef dey know'd I was settin' down here tellin' 'bout dat.
"Oh, it's the truth, sir. Warren Waters told me that out of his own mouth, and he was right there. I don't know, but the girl might be some of his family. I don't mind telling you that about Marse Paul, sir, but you mustn't let on about it, because Marse Tumlin and Miss Vallie are just as touchy about that as they can be. I'd never get their forgiveness if they knew I was sitting down here talking about it."
"You know how 'twaz in dem days. De folks what wuz de richest wuz de wussest off when de army come home from battlin'. I done tol' you 'bout Marse Tumlin. He ain't had nothin' in de roun' worl' but a whole passel er lan', an' me an' Miss Vallie. I don't count Hamp, bekaze Hamp 'fuse ter blieve he's free twel he ramble 'roun' an' fin' out de patterollers ain't gwine ter take 'im up. Dat how come I had ter sell ginger-cakes an' chicken-pies dat time. De money I made at dat ain't last long, bekaze Marse Tumlin he been use' ter rich vittles, an' he went right downtown an' got a bottle er chow-chow, an' some olives, an' some sardines, an' some cheese, an' you know yo'se'f, suh, dat money ain't gwine ter las' when you buy dat kin' er doin's.
"You know how it was back then. The people who were the richest were the worst off when the army returned from fighting. I've told you about Marse Tumlin. He only had a whole bunch of land, and me and Miss Vallie. I don't count Hamp because Hamp refuses to believe he's free until he wanders around and finds out the patrollers aren't going to catch him. That's why I had to sell ginger cakes and chicken pies during that time. The money I made from that didn't last long because Marse Tumlin was used to rich food, and he went right downtown and bought a bottle of chow-chow, some olives, some sardines, and some cheese, and you know yourself, sir, that money isn't going to last when you buy that kind of stuff."
"Well, suh, we done mighty well whiles de money helt out, but 'tain't court-week all de time, an' when dat de case, money got ter come fum some'rs else 'sides sellin' cakes an' pies. Bimeby, Hamp he got work at de liberty stable, whar dey hire out hosses an' board um. I call it a hoss tavern, suh, but Hamp, he 'low it's a liberty stable. Anyhow, he got work dar, an' dat sorter he'p out. Sometimes he'd growl bekaze I tuck his money fer ter he'p out my white folks, but when he got right mad I'd gi' Miss Vallie de wink, an' she'd say: 'Hampton, how'd you like ter have a little dram ter-night? You look like youer tired.' I could a-hugged 'er fer de way she done it, she 'uz dat cute. An' den Hamp, he'd grin an' low, 'I ain't honin' fer it, Miss Vallie, but 'twon't do me no harm, an' it may do me good.'
"Well, sir, we did pretty well while the money lasted, but it isn’t court week all the time, and when that’s the case, money has to come from somewhere else besides selling cakes and pies. Eventually, Hamp got a job at the horse stable where they rent out horses and board them. I call it a horse tavern, sir, but Hamp says it’s a liberty stable. Anyway, he found work there, and that helped out a bit. Sometimes he’d complain because I took his money to help my white folks, but when he got really mad, I’d give Miss Vallie a wink, and she’d say, ‘Hampton, how would you like to have a little drink tonight? You look like you’re tired.’ I could have hugged her for the way she did it; she was just that charming. And then Hamp would smile and say, ‘I’m not really into it, Miss Vallie, but it won’t hurt me, and it might do me good.’"
"An' den, suh, he'd set down, an' atter he got sorter warmed up wid de dram, he'd kinder roll his eye and low, 'Miss Vallie, she is a fine white 'oman!' Well, suh, 'tain't long 'fo' we had dat nigger man trained—done trained, bless you' soul! One day Miss Vallie had ter go 'cross town, an' she went by de liberty stable whar Hamp wuz at, leastways, he seed 'er some'rs; an' he come home dat night lookin' like he wuz feelin' bad. He 'fuse ter talk. Bimeby, atter he had his supper, he say, 'I seed Miss Vallie downtown ter-day. She wuz wid Miss Irene, an' dat 'ar frock she had on look mighty shabby.' I low, 'Well, it de bes' she got. She ain't got money like de Chippendales, an' Miss Irene don't keer how folks' cloze look. She too much quality fer dat.' Hamp say, 'Whyn't you take some er yo' money an' make Miss Vallie git er nice frock?' I low, 'Whar I got any money?' Hamp he hit his pocket an' say, 'You got it right here.'
"Then, sir, he'd sit down, and after he warmed up with the drink, he'd kind of roll his eyes and say, 'Miss Vallie, she's a fine white woman!' Well, sir, it wasn’t long before we had that man trained—really trained, bless your soul! One day Miss Vallie had to go across town, and she passed by the livery stable where Hamp was, at least he saw her somewhere; and he came home that night looking like he was feeling bad. He refused to talk. Eventually, after he had his dinner, he said, 'I saw Miss Vallie downtown today. She was with Miss Irene, and that dress she had on looked kind of shabby.' I said, 'Well, it’s the best she has. She doesn’t have money like the Chippendales, and Miss Irene doesn’t care how people’s clothes look. She’s too much of a quality person for that.' Hamp said, 'Why don’t you take some of your money and get Miss Vallie a nice dress?' I said, 'Where do I have any money?' Hamp hit his pocket and said, 'You’ve got it right here.'"
"An' sho' 'nuff, suh, dat nigger man had a roll er money—mos' twenty dollars. Some hoss drovers had come long an' Hamp made dat money by trimmin' up de ol' mules dey had an' makin' um look young. He's got de art er dat, suh, an' dey paid 'im well. Dar wuz de money, but how wuz I gwine ter git it in Miss Vallie's han'? I kin buy vittles an' she not know whar dey come fum, but when it come ter buyin' frocks—well, suh, hit stumped me. Dey wan't but one way ter do it, an' I done it. I make like I wuz mad. I tuck de money an' went in de house dar whar Miss Vallie wuz sewin' an' mendin'. I went stompin' in, I did, an' when I got in I started my tune.
"Sure enough, that guy had a roll of cash—almost twenty dollars. Some horse drovers came by, and Hamp made that money by sprucing up their old mules and making them look young. He’s got a knack for that, and they paid him well. There was the money, but how was I going to get it into Miss Vallie's hands? I can buy food without her knowing where it came from, but when it comes to buying clothes—well, that had me stumped. There was only one way to do it, and I went for it. I acted like I was mad. I took the money and went into the house where Miss Vallie was sewing and mending. I stomped in, and as soon as I got in, I started my tune."
"I low, 'Ef de Perdues gwine ter go scandalizin' deyse'f by trottin' down town in broad daylight wid all kinder frocks on der back, I'm gwine 'way fum here; an' I dun'ner but what I'll go anyhow. 'Tain't bekaze dey's any lack er money, fer here de money right here.' Wid dat I slammed it down on de table. 'Dar! take dat an' git you a frock dat'll make you look like sump'n when you git outside er dis house. An' whiles you er gittin', git sump'n for ter put on yo' head!'"
"I said, 'If the Perdues are going to embarrass themselves by strutting through town in broad daylight wearing all kinds of fancy dresses, I'm leaving here; and honestly, I think I will go anyway. It’s not because there’s any shortage of money, because the money is right here.' With that, I slammed it down on the table. 'There! Take that and buy yourself a dress that will make you look good when you step outside this house. And while you’re at it, get something for your head too!'"
Whether it was by reason of a certain dramatic faculty inherent in her race that she was able to summon emotions at will, or whether it was mere unconscious reproduction, I am not prepared to say. But certain it is that, in voice and gesture, in tone and attitude, and in a certain passionate earnestness of expression, Aunt Minervy Ann built up the whole scene before my eyes with such power that I seemed to have been present when it occurred. I felt as if she had conveyed me bodily into the room to become a witness of the episode. She went on, still with a frown on her face and a certain violence of tone and manner:
Whether it was due to a natural dramatic talent in her lineage that allowed her to evoke emotions at will, or if it was simply an unconscious mimicry, I can’t say. But it’s clear that, through her voice and gestures, tone and attitude, and an intense earnestness in her expression, Aunt Minervy Ann created the entire scene vividly in front of me, making me feel like I was actually there when it happened. I felt as if she had physically transported me into the room to witness the event. She continued, still wearing a frown and displaying an intense tone and demeanor:
"I whipped 'roun' de room a time er two, pickin' up de cheers an' slammin' um down agin, an' knockin' things 'roun' like I wuz mad. Miss Vallie put her sewin' down an' lay her han' on de money. She low, 'What's dis, Aunt Minervy Ann?' I say, 'Hit's money, dat what 'tis—nothin' but nasty, stinkin' money! I wish dey wan't none in de worl' less'n I had a bairlful.' She sorter fumble at de money wid 'er fingers. You dunno, suh, how white an' purty an' weak her han' look ter me dat night. She low, 'Aunt Minervy Ann, I can't take dis.' I blaze' out at 'er, 'You don't hafter take it; you done got it! An' ef you don't keep it, I'll rake up eve'y rag an' scrap I got an' leave dis place. Now, you des' try me!'"
"I whipped around the room a couple of times, picking up the chairs and slamming them down again, knocking things around like I was crazy. Miss Vallie put her sewing down and laid her hand on the money. She said, 'What's this, Aunt Minervy Ann?' I replied, 'It's money, that's what it is—nothing but nasty, stinking money! I wish there wasn't any in the world unless I had a barrel of it.' She sort of fumbled at the money with her fingers. You don't know, sir, how white and pretty and weak her hand looked to me that night. She said, 'Aunt Minervy Ann, I can't take this.' I exploded at her, 'You don't have to take it; you already have it! And if you don't keep it, I'll gather up every rag and scrap I have and leave this place. Now, you just try me!'"

Again Aunt Minervy Ann summoned to her aid the passion of a moment that had passed away, and again I had the queer experience of seeming to witness the whole scene. She continued:
Again Aunt Minervy Ann called upon the fleeting emotion of a moment that had long gone, and once more I had the peculiar experience of feeling like I was watching the entire scene unfold. She continued:
"Wid dat, I whipt out er de room an' out er de house an' went an' sot down out dar in my house whar Hamp was at. Hamp, he low, 'What she say?' I say, 'She ain't had time ter say nothin'—I come 'way fum dar.' He low, 'You ain't brung dat money back, is you?' I say: 'Does you think I'm a start naked fool?' He low: 'Kaze ef you is, I'll put it right spang in de fire here.'
"Wid that, I rushed out of the room and out of the house and went to sit down at my place where Hamp was. Hamp asked, 'What did she say?' I replied, 'She didn't have time to say anything—I left before she could.' He said, 'You didn't bring that money back, did you?' I replied, 'Do you think I'm a complete idiot?' He said, 'Because if you are, I'll throw it right in the fire here.'"
"Well, suh, I sot dar some little time, but eve'ything wuz so still in de house, bein's Marse Tumlin done gone downtown, dat I crope back an' crope in fer ter see what Miss Vallie doin'. Well, suh, she wuz cryin'—settin' dar cryin'. I 'low, 'Honey, is I say anything fer ter hurt yo' feelin's?' She blubber' out, 'You know you ain't!' an' den she cry good-fashion.
"Well, sir, I sat there for a little while, but everything was so quiet in the house, since Mr. Tumlin had gone downtown, that I crept back in to see what Miss Vallie was doing. Well, sir, she was crying—sitting there crying. I said, 'Honey, did I say anything to hurt your feelings?' She sobbed out, 'You know you didn’t!' and then she cried really hard."
"Des 'bout dat time, who should come in but Marse Tumlin. He look at Miss Vallie an' den he look at me. He say, 'Valentine, what de matter?' I say, 'It's me! I'm de one! I made 'er cry. I done sump'n ter hurt 'er feelin's.' She low, ''Tain't so, an' you know it. I'm des cryin' bekaze you too good ter me.'
"Just about that time, in walks Mr. Tumlin. He looks at Miss Vallie and then he looks at me. He says, 'Valentine, what's wrong?' I reply, 'It's me! I'm the one! I made her cry. I did something to hurt her feelings.' She says, 'That's not true, and you know it. I'm just crying because you're too good to me.'"
"Well, suh, I had ter git out er dar fer ter keep fum chokin'. Marse Tumlin foller me out, an' right here on de porch, he low, 'Minervy Ann, nex' time don't be so dam good to 'er.' I wuz doin' some snifflin' myse'f 'bout dat time, an' I ain't keerin' what I say, so I stop an' flung back at 'im, 'I'll be des es dam good ter 'er ez I please—I'm free!' Well, suh, stidder hittin' me, Marse Tumlin bust out laughin', an' long atter dat he'd laugh eve'y time he look at me, des like sump'n wuz ticklin' 'im mighty nigh ter death.
"Well, sir, I had to get out of there to keep from choking. Mr. Tumlin followed me outside, and right here on the porch, he said, 'Minervy Ann, next time don't be so darn nice to her.' I was sniffing a bit myself around that time, and I didn't care what I said, so I stopped and shot back at him, 'I'll be just as darn nice to her as I please—I'm free!' Well, sir, instead of hitting me, Mr. Tumlin burst out laughing, and long after that, he’d laugh every time he looked at me, just like something was tickling him nearly to death."
"I 'speck he must er tol' 'bout dat cussin' part, bekaze folks 'roun' here done got de idee dat I'm a sassy an' bad-tempered 'oman. Ef I had ter work fer my livin', suh, I boun' you I'd be a long time findin' a place. Atter dat, Hamp, he got in de Legislatur', an' it sho' wuz a money-makin' place. Den we had eve'ything we wanted, an' mo' too, but bimeby de Legislatur' gun out, an' den dar we wuz, flat ez flounders, an' de white folks don't want ter hire Hamp des kaze he been ter de Legislatur'; but he got back in de liberty stable atter so long a time. Yit 'twa'n't what you may call livin'.
"I guess he must have told them about that cursing part because people around here have gotten the idea that I'm a sassy and bad-tempered woman. If I had to work for my living, I bet I'd have a hard time finding a job. After that, Hamp got into the Legislature, and it was definitely a money-making gig. Then we had everything we wanted and more too, but eventually the Legislature ended, and there we were, flat as a flounder, and the white folks didn’t want to hire Hamp just because he had been in the Legislature; but he managed to get back into the labor force after a while. Still, it wasn’t what you would call living."
"All dat time, I hear Marse Tumlin talkin' ter Miss Vallie 'bout what he call his wil' lan'. He say he got two thousan' acres down dar in de wiregrass, an' ef he kin sell it, he be mighty glad ter do so. Well, suh, one day, long to'rds night, a two-hoss waggin driv' in at de side gate an' come in de back-yard. Ol' Ben Sadler wuz drivin', an' he low, 'Heyo, Minervy Ann, whar you want deze goods drapped at?' I say, 'Hello yo'se'f, ef you wanter hello. What you got dar, an' who do it 'blong ter?' He low, 'Hit's goods fer Major Tumlin Perdue, an' whar does you want um drapped at?' Well, suh, I ain't know what ter say, but I run'd an' ax'd Miss Vallie, an' she say put um out anywheres 'roun' dar, kaze she dunner nothin' 'bout um. So ol' Ben Sadler, he put um out, an' when I come ter look at um, dey wuz a bairl er sump'n, an' a kaig er sump'n, an' a box er sump'n. De bairl shuck like it mought be lasses, an' de kaig shuck like it mought be dram, an' de box hefted like it mought be terbarker. An', sho' 'nuff, dat what dey wuz—a bairl er sorghum syr'p, an' a kaig er peach brandy, an' a box er plug terbarker.
"All that time, I heard Marse Tumlin talking to Miss Vallie about what he called his wild land. He said he had two thousand acres down in the wiregrass, and if he could sell it, he’d be really happy to do so. Well, one day, close to evening, a two-horse wagon drove in the side gate and came into the backyard. Old Ben Sadler was driving, and he called out, 'Hey, Minervy Ann, where do you want these goods dropped off?' I said, 'Hello to you too, if you want to say hello. What do you have there, and who does it belong to?' He said, 'It's goods for Major Tumlin Perdue, and where do you want them dropped?' Well, I didn’t know what to say, so I ran and asked Miss Vallie, and she said to put them anywhere around there because she didn’t know anything about them. So Old Ben Sadler put them out, and when I came to look at them, there was a barrel of something, a keg of something, and a box of something. The barrel felt like it might be molasses, and the keg felt like it might be liquor, and the box felt like it might be tobacco. And sure enough, that’s what they were—a barrel of sorghum syrup, a keg of peach brandy, and a box of plug tobacco."
"I say right den, an' Miss Vallie 'll tell you de same, dat Marse Tumlin done gone an' swap off all his wil' lan', but Miss Vallie, she say no; he won't never think er seen a thing; but, bless yo' soul, suh, she wa'n't nothin' but a school-gal, you may say, an' she ain't know no mo' 'bout men folks dan what a weasel do. An den, right 'pon top er dat, here come a nigger boy leadin' a bob-tail hoss. When I see dat, I dez good ez know'd dat de wil' lan' done been swap off, bekaze Marse Tumlin ain't got nothin' fer ter buy all dem things wid, an' I tell you right now, suh, I wuz rank mad, kase what we want wid any ol' bob-tail hoss? De sorghum mought do, an' de dram kin be put up wid, an' de terbarker got some comfort in it, but what de name er goodness we gwine ter do wid dat ol' hoss, when we ain't got hardly 'nuff vittles fer ter feed ourse'f wid? Dat what I ax Miss Vallie, an' she say right pine-blank she dunno.
"I say right then, and Miss Vallie will tell you the same, that Marse Tumlin has gone and swapped all his wild land, but Miss Vallie, she says no; he’ll never think he’s seen anything. But, bless your soul, sir, she was nothing but a schoolgirl, you could say, and she knows no more about men than a weasel does. And then, right on top of that, here comes a Black boy leading a bobtail horse. When I saw that, I pretty much knew that the wild land had been swapped off, because Marse Tumlin doesn’t have anything to buy all those things with, and I tell you right now, sir, I was really mad, because what do we want with any old bobtail horse? The sorghum might do, and the dram can be dealt with, and the tobacco has some comfort in it, but what in the world are we going to do with that old horse when we hardly have enough food to feed ourselves? That’s what I asked Miss Vallie, and she said right flat out she didn’t know."
"Well, suh, it's de Lord's trufe, I wuz dat mad I dunner what I say, an' I wa'n't keerin' nudder, bekaze I know how we had ter pinch an' squeeze fer ter git long in dis house. But I went 'bout gittin' supper, an' bimeby, Hamp, he come, an' I told 'im 'bout de ol' bob-tail hoss, an' he went out an' look at 'im. Atter while, here he come back laughin', I say, 'You well ter laugh at dat ol' hoss.' He, 'low, 'I ain't laughin' at de hoss. I'm laughin' at you. Gal, dat de finest hoss what ever put foot on de groun' in dis town. Dat's Marse Paul Conant's trottin' hoss. He'll fetch fi' hunder'd dollars any day. What he doin' here?' I up an' tol' 'im all I know'd, an' he shuck his head; he low, 'Gal, you lay low. Dey's sump'n n'er behime all dat.'
"Well, sir, it's the Lord's truth, I was so mad I didn’t even know what I was saying, and I didn't care either, because I knew how we had to pinch and squeeze to get by in this house. But I went about making dinner, and after a while, Hamp showed up, and I told him about the old mule, and he went out to take a look at him. After some time, he came back laughing, and I said, 'You have a good reason to laugh at that old mule.' He said, 'I'm not laughing at the mule. I'm laughing at you. Girl, that's the finest mule that ever set foot on the ground in this town. That's Marse Paul Conant's trotting mule. He’ll bring five hundred dollars any day. What’s he doing here?' I told him everything I knew, and he shook his head; he said, 'Girl, you better watch out. There’s something more to all this.'"
"What Hamp say sorter make me put on my studyin'-cap; but when you come ter look at it, suh, dey wa'n't nothin' 'tall fer me ter study 'bout. All I had ter do wuz ter try ter fin' out what wuz behime it, an' let it go at dat. When Marse Tumlin come home ter supper, I know'd sump'n wuz de matter wid 'im. I know'd it by his looks, suh. It's sorter wid folks like 'tis wid chillun. Ef you keer 'sump'n 'bout um you'll watch der motions, and ef you watch der motions dey don't hatter tell you when sump'n de matter. He come in so easy, suh, dat Miss Vallie ain't hear 'im, but I hear de do' screak, an' I know'd 'twuz him. We wuz talkin' an' gwine on at a mighty rate, an' I know'd he done stop ter lis'n.
"What Hamp said kind of made me put on my thinking cap; but when you really think about it, there wasn’t anything for me to figure out. All I had to do was try to find out what was behind it and leave it at that. When Mr. Tumlin came home for dinner, I knew something was wrong with him. I could tell by his expression. It’s kind of like how people are with kids. If you care about them, you pay attention to their behavior, and if you do that, they don’t even have to tell you when something’s bothering them. He walked in so quietly that Miss Vallie didn’t hear him, but I heard the door creak, and I knew it was him. We were talking and going on at a pretty quick pace, and I knew he had stopped to listen."
"Miss Vallie, she low she 'speck somebody made 'im a present er dem ar things. I say, 'Uh-uh, honey! don't you fool yo'se'f. Nobody ain't gwine ter do dat. Our folks ain't no mo' like dey useter wuz, dan crabapples is like plums. Dey done come ter dat pass dat whatsomever dey gits der han's on dey 'fuse ter turn it loose. All un um, 'cep' Marse Tumlin Perdue. Dey ain't no tellin' what he gun fer all dat trash. Trash! Hit's wuss'n trash! I wish you'd go out dar an' look at dat ol' bob-tail hoss. Why dat ol' hoss wuz stove up long 'fo' de war. By rights he ought ter be in de bone-yard dis ve'y minnit. He won't be here two whole days 'fo' you'll see de buzzards lined up out dar on de back fence waitin', an' dey won't hatter wait long nudder. Ef dey sen' any corn here fer ter feed dat bag er bones wid, I'll parch it an' eat it myse'f 'fo' he shill have it. Ef anybody 'speck I'm gwine ter 'ten' ter dat ol' frame, deyer 'speckin' wid de wrong specks, I tell you dat right now.'
"Miss Vallie, I lowkey think someone must have given him those things as a gift. I say, 'Uh-uh, honey! Don't fool yourself. Nobody's going to do that. Our people aren't anything like they used to be, just like crabapples aren't like plums. They've reached the point where whatever they can get their hands on, they refuse to let it go. All of them, except Marse Tumlin Perdue. You never know what he's after with all that junk. Junk! It's worse than junk! I wish you’d go out there and look at that old bobtail horse. That old horse was broken down long before the war. He should be in the bone yard right this minute. He won't last two whole days before you'll see the buzzards lined up out there on the back fence waiting, and they won't wait long either. If they send any corn here to feed that bag of bones, I’ll roast it and eat it myself before he gets any. If anyone thinks I'm going to take care of that old rattletrap, they're expecting the wrong thing, I’ll tell you that right now.'"
"All dis time Marse Tumlin wuz stan'in' out in de hall lis'nin'. Miss Vallie talk mighty sweet 'bout it. She say, 'Ef dey ain't nobody else ter 'ten' de hoss, reckin I kin do it.' I low, 'My life er me, honey! de nex' news you know you'll be hirin' out ter de liberty stable.'
"All this time, Mr. Tumlin was standing out in the hallway listening. Miss Vallie was talking really sweet about it. She said, 'If there’s nobody else to tend to the horse, I guess I can do it.' I thought, 'Oh my gosh, honey! Next thing you know, you'll be hiring out to the liberty stable.'"
"Well, suh, my talk 'gun ter git so hot dat Marse Tumlin des had ter make a fuss. He fumbled wid de do' knob, an' den come walkin' down de hall, an' by dat time I wuz in de dinin'-room. I walk mighty light, bekaze ef he say anything I want ter hear it. You can't call it eave-drappin', suh; hit look ter me dat 'twuz ez much my business ez 'twuz dern, an' I ain't never got dat idee out'n my head down ter dis day.
"Well, sir, my conversation was getting so heated that Mr. Tumlin just had to make a scene. He fumbled with the doorknob, and then came walking down the hall, and by that point, I was in the dining room. I walked really quietly because if he said anything, I wanted to hear it. You can't call it eavesdropping, sir; to me, it seemed like it was just as much my business as it was his, and I’ve never shaken that idea from my mind to this day."
"But Marse Tumlin ain't say nothin', 'cep' fer ter ax Miss Vallie ef she feelin' well, an' how eve'ything wuz, but de minnit I hear 'im open his mouf I know'd he had trouble on his min'. I can't tell you how I know'd it, suh, but dar 'twuz. Look like he tried to hide it, bekaze he tol' a whole lot of funny tales 'bout folks, an' 'twa'n't long befo' he had Miss Vallie laughin' fit ter kill. But he ain't fool me, suh.
"But Marse Tumlin didn’t say anything except to ask Miss Vallie if she was feeling okay and how everything was, but the moment I heard him speak, I knew he had something on his mind. I can't explain how I knew it, sir, but there it was. It seemed like he was trying to hide it because he told a bunch of funny stories about people, and it wasn't long before he had Miss Vallie laughing really hard. But he didn’t fool me, sir."
"Bimeby, Miss Vallie, she come in de dinin'-room fer ter look atter settin' de table, bekaze fum a little gal she allers like ter have de dishes fix des so. She wuz sorter hummin' a chune, like she ain't want ter talk, but I ain't let dat stan' in my way.
"Bimeby, Miss Vallie came into the dining room to set the table because, being a little girl, she always preferred to have the dishes arranged just so. She was kind of humming a tune, as if she didn't want to talk, but I didn't let that stop me."
"I low, 'I wish eve'ybody wuz like dat Mr. Paul Conant. I bet you right now he been downtown dar all day makin' money han' over fist, des ez fast ez he can rake it in. I know it, kaze I does his washin' and cleans up his room fer 'im.'
"I said, 'I wish everybody was like that Mr. Paul Conant. I bet right now he's been downtown all day making money hand over fist, as fast as he can rake it in. I know this because I do his laundry and clean up his room for him.'”
"Miss Vallie say, 'Well, what uv it? Money don't make 'im no better'n anybody else.' I low, 'Hit don't make 'im no wuss; an' den, 'sides dat, he ain't gwine ter let nobody swindle 'im.'
"Miss Vallie says, 'Well, what of it? Money doesn’t make him any better than anyone else.' I reply, 'It doesn’t make him any worse; and besides that, he's not going to let anyone take advantage of him.'"
"By dat time, I hatter go out an' fetch supper in, an' 'tain't take me no time, bekaze I wuz des' achin' fer ter hear how Marse Tumlin come by dem ar contraptions an' contrivances. An' I stayed in dar ter wait on de table, which it ain't need no waitin' on.
"By that time, I had to go out and get dinner, and it didn't take me long because I was just dying to hear how Mr. Tumlin got those contraptions and gadgets. And I stayed in there to wait on the table, which didn't really need any waiting on."
"Atter while, I low, 'Marse Tumlin, I like ter forgot ter tell you—you' things done come.' He say, 'What things, Minervy Ann?' I low, 'Dem ar contraptions, an' dat ar bob-tail hoss. He look mighty lean an' hongry, de hoss do, but Hamp he say dat's bekaze he's a high-bred hoss. He say dem ar high-bred hosses won't take on no fat, no matter how much you feed urn.'
"After a while, I said, 'Mister Tumlin, I almost forgot to tell you—some things have come.' He asked, 'What things, Minervy Ann?' I said, 'Those gadgets and that rough-looking horse. He looks really skinny and hungry, but Hamp says that's because he's a thoroughbred. He says those thoroughbreds won't put on any weight, no matter how much you feed them.'"
"Marse Tumlin sorter drum on de table. Atter while he low, 'Dey done come, is dey, Minervy Ann?' I say, 'Yasser, dey er here right now. Hamp puts it down dat dat ar hoss oneer de gayliest creatur's what ever make a track in dis town.'
"Marse Tumlin sorted the drum on the table. After a while, he said, 'They’ve come, haven’t they, Minervy Ann?' I replied, 'Yes sir, they’re here right now. Hamp says that horse is the flashiest creature that ever stepped foot in this town.'"
"Well, suh, 'tain't no use ter tell you what else wuz said, kaze 'twan't much. I seed dat Marse Tumlin wan't gwine ter talk 'bout it, on account er bein' 'fear'd he'd hurt Miss Vallie's feelin's ef he tol' 'er dat he done swap off all dat wil' lan' fer dem ar things an' dat ar bob-tail hoss. Dat what he done. Yasser! I hear 'im sesso afterwards. He swap it off ter Marse Paul Conant.
"Well, sir, there's no point in telling you what else was said because it wasn't much. I saw that Mr. Tumlin wasn't going to talk about it, because he was afraid he'd hurt Miss Vallie's feelings if he told her that he traded all that wild land for those things and that bobtail horse. That's what he did. Yes, sir! I heard him say so afterwards. He traded it to Mr. Paul Conant."
"I thank my Lord it come out all right, but it come mighty nigh bein' de ruination er de fambly."
"I’m grateful to my Lord that it turned out okay, but it almost ruined the family."
"How was that?" I inquired.
"How was that?" I asked.
"Dat what I'm gwine ter tell you, suh. Right atter supper dat night, Marse Tumlin say he got ter go down town fer ter see a man on some business, an' he ax me ef I won't stay in de house dar wid Miss Vallie. 'Twa'n't no trouble ter me, bekaze I'd 'a' been on de place anyhow, an' so when I got de kitchen cleaned up an' de things put away, I went back in de house whar Miss Vallie wuz at Marse Tumlin wuz done gone.
"That’s what I’m going to tell you, sir. Right after dinner that night, Mr. Tumlin said he had to go downtown to meet a man about some business, and he asked me if I would stay in the house with Miss Vallie. It wasn’t any trouble for me because I would have been on the property anyway, so after I cleaned up the kitchen and put everything away, I went back into the house where Miss Vallie was since Mr. Tumlin had already left."
"Miss Vallie, she sot at de table doin' some kind er rufflin', an' I sot back ag'in de wall in one er dem ar high-back cheers. What we said I'll never tell you, suh, bekaze I'm one er deze kinder folks what ain't no sooner set down an' git still dan dey goes ter noddin'. Dat's me. Set me down in a cheer, high-back er low-back, an' I'm done gone! I kin set here on de step an' keep des ez wide-'wake ez a skeer'd rabbit, but set me down in a cheer—well, suh, I'd like ter see anybody keep me 'wake when dat's de case.
"Miss Vallie was sitting at the table doing something fidgety, and I was leaning back against the wall in one of those high-backed chairs. What we talked about, I’ll never reveal to you, sir, because I’m one of those people who, as soon as I sit down and get still, I start nodding off. That’s me. You can set me down on the step and I'll stay as alert as a scared rabbit, but put me in a chair—well, sir, I’d like to see anyone keep me awake under those circumstances."
"Dar I sot in dat ar high-back cheer, Miss Vallie rufflin' an' flutin' sump'n, an' tryin' ter make me talk, an' my head rollin' 'roun' like my neck done broke. Bimeby, blam! blam! come on de do'. We got one er dem ar jinglin' bells now, suh, but in dem times we had a knocker, an' it soun' like de roof fallin' in. I like ter jumped out'n my skin. Miss Vallie drapped her conflutements an' low, 'What in de worl'! Aunt Minervy Ann, go ter de do.'
"Here I was sitting in that high-backed chair, Miss Vallie fussing and fussing with something, trying to get me to talk, while my head was rolling around like my neck was broken. After a while, bang! bang! came from the door. We had one of those jingling bells now, sir, but back then we had a knocker that sounded like the roof was falling in. I nearly jumped out of my skin. Miss Vallie dropped what she was doing and said, 'What in the world! Aunt Minervy Ann, go to the door.'"
"Well, suh, I went, but I ain't had no heart in it, bekaze I ain't know who it mought be, an' whar dey come fum, an' what dey want. But I went. 'Twuz me er Miss Vallie, an' I wan't gwine ter let dat chile go, not dat time er night, dough 'twa'n't so mighty late.
"Well, sir, I went, but I didn't have any enthusiasm for it, because I didn't know who it might be, where they were coming from, and what they wanted. But I went. It was either me or Miss Vallie, and I wasn't going to let that child go, not at that time of night, though it wasn't really that late."
"I open de do' on de crack, I did, an' low, 'Who dat?' Somebody make answer, 'Is de Major in, Aunt Minervy Ann?' an' I know'd right den it wuz Marse Paul Conant. An' it come over me dat he had sump'n ter do wid sendin' er dem contraptions, mo' 'speshually dat ar bob-tail hoss. An' den, too, suh, lots quicker'n I kin tell it, hit come over me dat he been axin' me lots 'bout Miss Vallie. All come 'cross my min', suh, whiles I pullin' de do' open.
"I open the door a crack, and I hear, 'Who’s there?' Someone replies, 'Is the Major in, Aunt Minervy Ann?' and I knew right then it was Marse Paul Conant. Then it hit me that he had something to do with sending those contraptions, especially that bobtail horse. And then, too, sir, quicker than I can tell, it occurred to me that he had been asking me a lot about Miss Vallie. All of this crossed my mind as I pulled the door open."
"I low, I did, 'No, suh; Marse Tumlin gone down town fer ter look atter some business, but he sho ter come back terreckly. Won't you come in, suh, an' wait fer 'im?' He sorter flung his head back an' laugh, saft like, an' say, 'I don't keer ef I do, Aunt Minervy Ann.'
"I said, 'No, sir; Mr. Tumlin went downtown to take care of some business, but he should be back shortly. Will you come in, sir, and wait for him?' He kind of tossed his head back and laughed softly, then said, 'I don't mind if I do, Aunt Minervy Ann.'"
"I low, 'Walk right in de parlor, suh, an' I'll make a light mos' 'fo' you kin turn 'roun'. He come in, he did, an' I lit de lamp, an' time I lit 'er she 'gun ter smoke. Well, suh, he tuck dat lamp, run de wick up an' down a time er two, an' dar she wuz, bright ez day.
"I said, 'Come right into the parlor, sir, and I'll get a light for you before you can even turn around.' He came in, and I lit the lamp. Just as I lit it, it started smoking. Well, he took that lamp, adjusted the wick up and down a few times, and there it was, bright as day."
"When I went back in de room whar Miss Vallie wuz at, she wuz stan'in' dar lookin' skeer'd. She say, 'Who dat?' I 'low, 'Hit's Marse Paul Conant, dat's who 'tis.' She say, 'What he want?' I low, 'Nothin' much; he does come a-courtin'. Better jump up an' not keep 'im waitin'.'
"When I went back into the room where Miss Vallie was, she was standing there looking scared. She said, 'Who’s that?' I said, 'It's Marse Paul Conant, that's who.' She asked, 'What does he want?' I replied, 'Not much; he just came to court you. You’d better get up and not keep him waiting.'"
"Well, suh, you could 'a' knock'd 'er down wid a fedder. She stood dar wid 'er han' on 'er th'oat takin' short breffs, des like a little bird does when it flies in de winder an' dunner how ter fly out ag'in.
"Well, sir, you could've knocked her down with a feather. She stood there with her hand on her throat, taking short breaths, just like a little bird does when it flies into the window and doesn’t know how to fly out again."
"Bimeby, she say, 'Aunt Minervy Ann, you ought ter be 'shame or yo'se'f! I know dat man when I see 'im, an' dat's all.' I low, 'Honey, you know mighty well he ain't come callin'. But he wanter see Marse Tumlin, an' dey ain't nothin' fer ter hender you fum gwine in dar an' makin' 'im feel at home whiles he waitin'.' She sorter study awhile, an' den she blush up. She say, 'I dunno whedder I ought ter.'
"Bimeby, she says, 'Aunt Minervy Ann, you should be ashamed of yourself! I know that man when I see him, and that's it.' I say, 'Sweetie, you know very well he isn't here to visit. But he wants to see Marse Tumlin, and there's nothing stopping you from going in there and making him feel at home while he's waiting.' She thinks about it for a bit, and then she blushes. She says, 'I don't know if I should.'"
"Well, suh, dat settled it. I know'd by de way she look an' talk dat she don't need no mo' 'swadin'. I say, 'All right, honey, do ez you please; but it's yo' house; you er de mist'iss; an' it'll look mighty funny ef dat young man got ter set in dar by hisse'f an' look at de wall whiles he waitin' fer Marse Tumlin. I dunner what he'll say, kaze I ain't never hear 'im talk 'bout nobody; but I know mighty well he'll do a heap er thinkin'.'
"Well, sir, that's settled then. I could tell by the way she looked and spoke that she doesn't need any more persuasion. I said, 'Alright, dear, do as you wish; but it’s your house; you’re the missus; and it’ll look pretty strange if that young man has to sit there by himself staring at the wall while he waits for Mr. Tumlin. I don’t know what he’ll say because I’ve never heard him talk about anyone, but I know very well he’ll be doing a lot of thinking.'"
"Des like I tell you, suh—she skipped 'roun' dar, an' flung on 'er Sunday frock, shuck out 'er curls, an' sorter fumble' 'roun' wid some ribbons, an' dar she wuz, lookin' des ez fine ez a fiddle, ef not finer. Den she swep' inter de parlor, an', you mayn't blieve it, suh, but she mighty nigh tuck de man's breff 'way. Mon, she wuz purty, an' she ain't do no mo' like deze eve'y-day gals dan nothin'. When she start 'way fum me, she wuz a gal. By de time she walk up de hall an' sweep in dat parlor, she wuz a grown 'oman. De blush what she had on at fust stayed wid 'er an' look like 't wuz er natchual color, an' her eyes shine, suh, like she had fire in um. I peeped at 'er, suh, fum behime de curtains in de settin'-room, an' I know what I'm talkin' 'bout. It's de Lord's trufe, suh, ef de men folks could tote derse'f like de wimmen, an' do one way whiles dey feelin' annuder way, dey wouldn't be no livin' in de worl'. You take a school gal, suh, an' she kin fool de smartest man what ever trod shoe leather. He may talk wid 'er all day an' half de night, an' he never is ter fin' out what she thinkin' 'bout. Sometimes de gals fools deyse'f, suh, but dat's mighty seldom.
"Just like I told you, sir—she skipped around there, threw on her Sunday dress, shook out her curls, and sort of fumbled around with some ribbons, and there she was, looking just as fine as a fiddle, if not finer. Then she swept into the parlor, and, you might not believe it, sir, but she nearly took the man's breath away. Man, she was pretty, and she didn't act like those everyday girls at all. When she started away from me, she was a girl. By the time she walked up the hall and swept into that parlor, she was a grown woman. The blush she had on at first stayed with her and looked like it was her natural color, and her eyes shone, sir, like she had fire in them. I peeked at her, sir, from behind the curtains in the sitting room, and I know what I’m talking about. It's the Lord's truth, sir, if the men could carry themselves like the women, and act one way while feeling another way, there wouldn't be any living in the world. You take a school girl, sir, and she can fool the smartest man who ever walked on this earth. He may talk with her all day and half the night, and he will never find out what she's thinking about. Sometimes the girls fool themselves, sir, but that’s pretty rare."
"I dunner what all dey say, kaze I ain't been in dar so mighty long 'fo' I wuz nodding but I did hear Marse Paul say he des drapt in fer 'pollygize 'bout a little joke he played on Marse Tumlin. Miss Vallie ax what wuz de joke, an' he low dat Marse Tumlin wuz banterin' folks fer ter buy his wil' lan'; an' Marse Paul ax 'im what he take fer it, an' Marse Tumlin low he'll take anything what he can chaw, sop, er drink. Dem wuz de words—-chaw, sop, er drink. Wid dat, Marse Paul say he'd gi' 'im a box er terbarker, a bairl er syr'p, an' a kaig er peach brandy an' th'ow in his buggy-hoss fer good medjer. Marse Tomlin say 'done' an' dey shuck han's on it. Dat what Marse Paul tol' Miss Vallie, an he 'low he des done it fer fun, kaze he done looked inter dat wil' lan', an' he low she's wuff a pile er money.
"I don’t know what all they’re saying, because I haven’t been there in such a long time. Before I was nodding off, but I did hear Mr. Paul say he just dropped by to apologize for a little joke he played on Mr. Tumlin. Miss Vallie asked what the joke was, and he said that Mr. Tumlin was joking with people to buy his wild land. Then Mr. Paul asked him what he’d take for it, and Mr. Tumlin said he’d take anything he could chew, soak, or drink. Those were the words—chew, soak, or drink. With that, Mr. Paul said he’d give him a box of tobacco, a barrel of syrup, and a keg of peach brandy, and throw in his buggy horse for good measure. Mr. Tumlin said 'done,' and they shook hands on it. That’s what Mr. Paul told Miss Vallie, and he said he just did it for fun because he looked into that wild land, and he said it’s worth a ton of money."
"Well, suh, 'bout dat time, I 'gun ter nod, an' de fus news I know'd Miss Vallie wuz whackin' 'way on de peanner, an' it look like ter me she wuz des tryin' 'erse'f. By dat time, dey wuz gettin' right chummy, an' so I des curl up on de flo', an' dream dat de peanner chunes wuz comin' out'n a bairl des like lasses.
"Well, sir, around that time, I started to doze off, and the first thing I knew, Miss Vallie was playing away on the piano, and it seemed to me she was just trying her best. By that time, they were getting pretty cozy, so I just curled up on the floor and dreamed that the piano tunes were coming out of a barrel just like lasses."
"When I waked up, Marse Paul Conant done gone, an' Marse Tumlin ain't come, an' Miss Vallie wuz settin' dar in de parlor lookin' up at de ceilin' like she got some mighty long thoughts. Her color wuz still up. I look at 'er an' laugh, an' she made a mouf at me, an' I say ter myse'f, 'Hey! sump'n de matter here, sho,' but I say out loud, 'Marse Paul Conant sho gwine ter ax me ef you ain't had a dram.' She laugh an' say, 'What answer you gwine ter make?' I low, 'I'll bow an' say, "No, suh; I'm de one dat drinks all de dram fer de fambly."'
"When I woke up, Mr. Paul Conant was gone, and Mr. Tumlin hadn’t come, and Miss Vallie was sitting there in the living room, staring up at the ceiling like she had some really deep thoughts. Her cheeks still had some color. I looked at her and laughed, and she made a face at me, and I thought to myself, 'Hey! Something is off here, for sure,' but I said out loud, 'Mr. Paul Conant is definitely going to ask me if you’ve had a drink.' She laughed and said, 'What answer are you going to give?' I said, 'I’ll bow and say, "No, sir; I'm the one who drinks all the drinks for the family."'”
"Well, suh, dat chile sot in ter laughin', an' she laugh an' laugh twel she went inter highsterics. She wuz keyed up too high, ez you mought say, an' dat's de way she come down agin. Bimeby, Marse Tumlin come, an' Miss Vallie, she tol' 'm 'bout how Marse Paul done been dar; an' he sot dar, he did, an' hummed an' haw'd, an' done so funny dat, bimeby, I low, 'Well, folks, I'll hatter tell you good-night,' an' wid dat I went out."
"Well, sir, that child sat there laughing, and she laughed and laughed until she started to lose it completely. She was really wound up, you might say, and that’s how she finally calmed down. Eventually, Mr. Tumlin showed up, and Miss Vallie told him all about how Mr. Paul had been there; and he sat there, making sounds and being so silly that, after a while, I thought, 'Well, everyone, I better say goodnight,' and with that, I left."
At this point Aunt Minervy leaned forward, clasped her hands over her knees, and shook her head. When she took up the thread of her narrative, if it can be called such, the tone of her voice was more subdued, almost confidential, in fact.
At this point, Aunt Minervy leaned forward, clasped her hands over her knees, and shook her head. When she resumed her story, if you can call it that, her voice was quieter, almost like she was sharing a secret.
"Nex' mornin' wuz my wash-day, suh, an' 'bout ten o'clock, when I got ready, dey want no bluin' in de house an' mighty little soap. I hunted high an' I hunted low, but no bluin' kin I fin'. An' dat make me mad, bekaze ef I hatter go down town atter de bluin', my wash-day'll be broke inter. But 'tain't no good fer ter git mad, bekaze I wuz bleeze ter go atter de bluin'. So I tighten up my head-hankcher, an' flung a cape on my shoulders an' put out.
"Next morning was my wash day, sir, and around ten o'clock, when I got ready, there was no blueing in the house and hardly any soap. I searched everywhere, but I couldn't find any blueing. And that made me mad because if I had to go downtown for the blueing, my wash day would be disrupted. But there's no point in getting mad because I had to go after the blueing anyway. So I tightened my headscarf, threw a cape over my shoulders, and headed out."
"I 'speck you know how 'tis, suh. You can't go down town but what you'll see nigger wimmen stan'in' out in de front yards lookin' over de palin's. Dey all know'd me an' I know'd dem, an' de las' blessed one un um hatter hail me ez I go by, an' I hatter stop an' pass de time er day, kaze ef I'd 'a' whipt on by, dey'd 'a' said I wuz gwine back bofe on my church an' on my color. I dunner how long dey kep' me, but time I got ter Proctor's sto', I know'd I'd been on de way too long.
"I bet you know how it is, sir. You can't go downtown without seeing Black women standing in their front yards looking over the fences. They all recognized me and I recognized them, and the last one of them called out to me as I passed by, and I had to stop and chat for a bit, because if I had just rushed past, they would have thought I was turning my back on both my church and my community. I don’t know how long they kept me, but by the time I got to Proctor's store, I knew I had been on my way for too long."
"I notice a crowd er men out dar, some settin' an' some stan'in', but I run'd in, I did, an' de young man what do de clerkin', he foller me in an' ax what I want. I say I want a dime's wuff er bluin', an' fer ter please, suh, wrop it up des ez quick ez he kin. I tuck notice dat while he wuz gittin' it out'n de box, he sorter stop like he lis'nin' an' den agin, whiles he had it in de scoop des ready fer ter drap it in de scales, he held his han' an' wait. Den I know'd he wuz lis'nin'.
"I see a crowd of men out there, some sitting and some standing, but I rushed in, I did, and the young man who does the clerking followed me in and asked what I wanted. I said I wanted a dime's worth of blueing, and please, sir, wrap it up as quickly as he could. I noticed that while he was getting it out of the box, he sort of paused like he was listening, and then again, while he had it in the scoop just ready to drop it in the scales, he held his hand and waited. Then I knew he was listening."
"Dat makes me lis'n, an' den I hear Marse Tumlin talkin', an' time I hear 'im I know'd he wuz errytated. Twa'n't bekaze he wuz talkin' loud, suh, but 'twuz bekaze he wuz talkin' level. When he talk loud, he feelin' good. When he talk low, an' one word soun' same ez anudder, den somebody better git out'n his way. I lef' de counter an' step ter de do' fer ter see what de matter wuz betwix' um.
"That makes me listen, and then I hear Mr. Tumlin talking, and as soon as I hear him, I know he’s irritated. It wasn't because he was talking loudly, sir, but because he was talking calmly. When he talks loudly, he’s feeling good. When he talks softly, and one word sounds the same as another, then someone better get out of his way. I left the counter and stepped to the door to see what the issue was between them."
"Well, suh, dar wuz Marse Tumlin stan'in' dar close ter Tom Ferryman. Marse Tumlin, low, 'Maybe de law done 'pinted you my gyardeen. How you know I been swindled?' Tom Ferryman say, 'Bekaze I hear you say he bought yo' wil' lan' fer a little er nothin'. He'll swindle you ef you trade wid 'im, an' you done trade wid 'im.' Marse Tumlin low, 'Is Paul Conant ever swindle you?' Tom Ferryman say, 'No, he ain't, an' ef he wuz ter I'd give 'im a kickin'.' Marse Tumlin low, 'Well, you know you is a swindler, an' nobody ain't kick you. How come dat?' Tom Ferryman say, 'Ef you say I'm a swindler, you're a liar.'
"Well, sir, there was Marse Tumlin standing there close to Tom Ferryman. Marse Tumlin said, 'Maybe the law has appointed you my guardian. How do you know I've been swindled?' Tom Ferryman replied, 'Because I heard you say he bought your wild land for practically nothing. He'll swindle you if you trade with him, and you've already traded with him.' Marse Tumlin asked, 'Has Paul Conant ever swindled you?' Tom Ferryman said, 'No, he hasn't, and if he did, I'd give him a beating.' Marse Tumlin said, 'Well, you know you are a swindler, and nobody has kicked you. Why is that?' Tom Ferryman replied, 'If you say I'm a swindler, you're a liar.'"
"Well, suh, de man ain't no sooner say dat dan bang! went Marse Tumlin's pistol, an' des ez it banged Marse Paul Conant run 'twix' um, an' de ball went right spang th'oo de collar-bone an' sorter sideways th'oo de pint er de shoulder-blade. Marse Tumlin drapt his pistol an' cotch 'im ez he fell an' knelt down dar by 'im, an' all de time dat ar Tom Ferryman wuz stan'in' right over um wid his pistol in his han'. I squall out, I did, 'Whyn't some er you white men take dat man pistol 'way fum 'im? Don't you see what he fixin' ter do?'
"Well, sir, as soon as the man said that, bang! went Marse Tumlin's pistol, and just as it fired, Marse Paul Conant dashed between them, and the bullet went straight through the collarbone and sort of sideways through the tip of the shoulder blade. Marse Tumlin dropped his pistol and caught him as he fell and knelt down next to him, while all the time that Tom Ferryman was standing right over them with his pistol in his hand. I shouted out, 'Why doesn't one of you white guys take that man's pistol away from him? Don't you see what he's about to do?'"
"I run'd at 'im, an' he sorter flung back wid his arm, an' when he done dat somebody grab 'im fum behind. All dat time Marse Tumlin wuz axin' Marse Paul Conant ef he hurt much. I hear 'im say, 'I wouldn't 'a' done it fer de worl', Conant—not fer de worl'.' Den de doctor, he come up, an' Marse Tumlin, he pester de man twel he hear 'im say, 'Don't worry, Major; dis boy'll live ter be a older man dan you ever will.' Den Marse Tumlin got his pistol an' hunt up an' down fer dat ar Tom Ferryman, but he done gone. I seed 'im when he got on his hoss.
"I ran at him, and he kind of swung his arm back, and when he did that, someone grabbed him from behind. All that time, Mr. Tumlin was asking Mr. Paul Conant if he was hurt much. I heard him say, 'I wouldn't have done it for the world, Conant—not for the world.' Then the doctor came over, and Mr. Tumlin kept bothering the man until he heard him say, 'Don't worry, Major; this boy will live to be older than you ever will.' Then Mr. Tumlin got his pistol and looked high and low for that Tom Ferryman, but he was already gone. I saw him when he got on his horse."
"I say to Marse Tumlin, 'Ain't you des ez well ter fetch Marse Paul Conant home whar we all kin take keer uv 'im?' He low, 'Dat's a fack. Go home an' tell yo' Miss Vallie fer ter have de big room fixed up time we git dar wid 'im.' I say, 'Humph! I'll fix it myse'f; I know'd I ain't gwine ter let Miss Vallie do it.'
"I say to Marse Tumlin, 'Aren't you just as well to bring Marse Paul Conant home where we can all take care of him?' He says, 'That's a fact. Go home and tell Miss Vallie to have the big room ready by the time we get there with him.' I reply, 'Humph! I'll handle it myself; I knew I wasn't going to let Miss Vallie do it.'"
"Well, suh, 'tain't no use fer ter tell yer de rest. Dar's dat ar baby in dar, an' what mo' sign does you want ter show you dat it all turned out des like one er dem ol'-time tales?"
"Well, sir, there’s no point in telling you the rest. There’s that baby in there, and what more sign do you need to show you that it all turned out just like one of those old-time stories?"
A KENTUCKY CINDERELLA
By F. HOPKINSON SMITH
Copyright 1899 by F. Hopkinson Smith.
Copyright 1899 by F. Hopkinson Smith.
I was bending over my easel, hard at work upon a full-length portrait of a young girl in a costume of fifty years ago, when the door of my studio opened softly and Aunt Chloe came in.
I was leaning over my easel, focused on a full-length portrait of a young girl in a costume from fifty years ago, when the door to my studio opened quietly and Aunt Chloe walked in.
"Good-mawnin', suh! I didn' think you'd come to-day, bein' a Sunday," she said, with a slight bend of her knees. "I'll jes' sweep up a lil mite; doan' ye move, I won't 'sturb ye."
"Good morning, sir! I didn’t think you’d come today, being a Sunday," she said, with a slight bend of her knees. "I’ll just sweep up a little bit; don’t you move, I won’t disturb you."
Aunt Chloe had first opened my door a year before with a note from Marny, a brother brush, which began with "Here is an old Southern mammy who has seen better days; paint her if you can," and ended with, "Any way, give her a job."
Aunt Chloe had first opened my door a year earlier with a note from Marny, a fellow artist, which started with "Here’s an old Southern lady who's seen better days; paint her if you can," and concluded with, "Either way, give her a job."
The bearer of the note was indeed the ideal mammy, even to the bandanna handkerchief bound about her head, and the capacious waist and ample bosom—the lullaby resting-place for many a child, white and black. I had never seen a real one in the flesh before. I had heard about them in my earlier days. Daddy Billy, my father's body servant and my father's slave, who lived to be ninety-four, had told me of his own Aunt Mirey, who had died in the old days, but too far back for me to remember. And I had listened, when a boy, to the traditions connected with the plantations of my ancestors,—of the Keziahs and Mammy Crouches and Mammy Janes,—but I had never looked into the eyes of one of the old school until I saw Aunt Chloe, nor had I ever fully realized how quaintly courteous and gentle one of them could be until, with an old-time manner, born of a training seldom found outside of the old Southern homes, she bent forward, spread her apron with both hands, and with a little backward dip had said as she left me that first day: "Thank ye, suh! I'll come eve'y Sunday mawnin'. I'll do my best to please ye, an' I specs I kin."
The person holding the note was truly the perfect caretaker, complete with the bandanna tied around her head, a large waist, and a generous bosom—the perfect spot for many a child, both white and black, to find comfort. I had never encountered a real one in person before. I had heard stories about them when I was younger. Daddy Billy, my father's servant and slave, who lived to be ninety-four, shared tales of his Aunt Mirey, who had passed away in the distant past, too far back for me to recall. As a boy, I listened to the stories connected with my ancestors' plantations—for instance, the tales of the Keziahs, Mammy Crouches, and Mammy Janes—but I had never looked into the eyes of someone from that old tradition until I met Aunt Chloe. I also hadn't fully understood how charmingly polite and gentle one could be until, with the old-fashioned grace that comes from a upbringing rarely seen outside of traditional Southern homes, she leaned forward, spread her apron with both hands, and with a little bow said as she left me that first day: "Thank you, sir! I'll come every Sunday morning. I'll do my best to please you, and I think I can."
I do not often work on Sunday, but my picture had been too long delayed waiting for a faded wedding dress worn once by the original when she was a bride, and which had only been found when two of her descendants had ransacked their respective garrets.
I don't usually work on Sundays, but my painting had been put off for too long, waiting for a faded wedding dress that was worn once by the original bride. It was only discovered when two of her descendants rummaged through their attics.
"Mus' be mighty driv, suh," she said, "a workin' on de Sabbath day. Golly, but dat's a purty lady!" and she put down her pail. "I see it las' Sunday when I come in, but she didn't had dem ruffles 'round her neck den dat you done gib her. 'Clar' to goodness, dat chile look like she was jes' a-gwine to speak."
"Must be really busy, sir," she said, "working on the Sabbath. Wow, but that's a pretty lady!" and she set down her pail. "I saw her last Sunday when I came in, but she didn't have those ruffles around her neck then that you gave her. Honestly, that girl looks like she was just about to speak."
Aunt Chloe was leaning on her broom, her eyes scrutinizing the portrait.
Aunt Chloe was leaning on her broom, her eyes examining the portrait.
"Well, if dat doan' beat de lan'. I ain't never seen none o' dem frocks since de ole times. An' dem lil low shoes wid de ribbons crossed on de ankles! She's de livin' pussonecation—she is so, for a fac'. Uhm! Uh!" (It is difficult to convey this peculiar sound of complete approval in so many letters.)
"Well, if that doesn't beat all. I’ve never seen any of those dresses since the old days. And those little low shoes with the ribbons crossing at the ankles! She’s the living embodiment of it—she really is, honestly. Uhm! Uh!" (It's hard to express this unique sound of total approval in words.)
"Did you ever know anybody like her?" I asked.
"Did you ever know anyone like her?" I asked.
The old woman straightened her back, and for a moment her eyes looked into mine. I had often tried to draw from her something of her earlier life, but she had always evaded my questions. Marny had told me that his attempts had at first been equally disappointing.
The old woman straightened up, and for a moment her eyes met mine. I had often tried to get her to share something about her past, but she always dodged my questions. Marny had told me that his attempts had been just as frustrating at first.
"Body as ole's me, suh, seen a plenty o' people." Then her eyes sought the canvas again.
"Body as old as me, sir, has seen plenty of people." Then her eyes looked at the canvas again.
After a moment's pause she said, as if to herself: "You's de real quality, chile, dat you is; eve'y spec an' spinch o' ye."
After a brief pause, she said, almost to herself: "You’re the real deal, kid, that you are; every bit and piece of you."
I tried again.
I gave it another shot.
"Does it look like anybody you ever saw, Aunt Chloe?"
"Does it look like anyone you've ever seen, Aunt Chloe?"
"It do an' it don't," she answered critically. "De feet is like hern, but de eyes ain't."
"It does and it doesn't," she replied critically. "The feet are like hers, but the eyes aren't."
"Who?"
"Who?"
"Oh, Miss Nannie." And she leaned again on her broom and looked down on the floor.
"Oh, Miss Nannie." She leaned on her broom again and looked down at the floor.
I heaped up a little pile of pigments on one corner of my palette and flattened them for a high light on a fold in the satin gown.
I gathered a small amount of paint on one corner of my palette and spread it out for a highlight on a fold in the satin dress.
"Who was Miss Nannie?" I asked carelessly. I was afraid the thread would break if I pulled too hard.
"Who was Miss Nannie?" I asked casually. I was worried the thread would snap if I tugged too hard.
"One o' my chillen, honey." A peculiar softness came into her voice.
"One of my kids, honey." A strange tenderness softened her voice.
"Tell me about her. It will help me get her eyes right, so you can remember her better. They don't look human enough to me anyhow" (this last to myself). "Where did she live?"
"Tell me about her. It will help me get her eyes right, so you can remember her better. They don't look human enough to me anyway" (this last part to myself). "Where did she live?"
"Where dey all live—-down in de big house. She warn't Marse Henry's real chile, but she come o' de blood. She didn't hab dem kind o' shoes on her footses when I fust see her, but she wore 'em when she lef' me. Dat she did." Her voice rose suddenly and her eyes brightened. "And dem ain't nothin' to de way dey shined. I ain't never seen no satin slippers shine like dem slippers; dey was jes' ablaze!"
"Where do they all live—down in the big house? She wasn't Marse Henry's real child, but she came from the bloodline. She didn't have those kinds of shoes on her feet when I first saw her, but she wore them when she left me. That she did." Her voice suddenly got louder, and her eyes lit up. "And those were nothing compared to how they shined. I've never seen any satin slippers shine like those slippers; they were just blazing!"
I worked on in silence. Marny had cautioned me not to be too curious. Some day she might open her heart and tell me wonderful stories of her earlier life, but I must not appear too anxious. She had become rather suspicious of strangers since she had moved North and lost track of her own people, Marny had said.
I kept working quietly. Marny had warned me not to be too nosy. Someday she might share her heart and tell me amazing stories from her past, but I shouldn’t seem too eager. She had become pretty wary of strangers since moving North and losing touch with her own people, Marny had mentioned.
Aunt Chloe picked up her pail and began moving some easels into a far corner of my studio and piling the chairs in a heap. This done, she stopped again and stood behind me, looking intently at the canvas over my shoulder.
Aunt Chloe grabbed her bucket and started shifting some easels into a corner of my studio, stacking the chairs in a pile. Once she finished, she paused and stood behind me, staring closely at the canvas over my shoulder.
"My! My! ain't dat de ve'y image of dat frock? I kin see it now jes' as Miss Nannie come down de stairs. But you got to put dat gold chain on it 'fore it gits to be de ve'y 'spress image. I had it roun' my own neck once; I knew jes' how it looked."
"My! My! isn't that the exact image of that dress? I can see it now just as Miss Nannie came down the stairs. But you need to put that gold chain on it before it becomes the exact replica. I had it around my own neck once; I knew just how it looked."
I laid down my palette, and picking up a piece of chalk asked her to describe it so that I could make an outline.
I set down my palette and grabbed a piece of chalk, asking her to describe it so I could create an outline.
"It was long an' heavy, an' it woun' roun' de neck twice an' hung down to de wais'. An' dat watch on de end of it! Well, I ain't seen none like dat one sence. I 'clar' to ye it was jes' 's teeny as one o' dem lil biscuits I used to make for 'er when she come in de kitchen—an' she was dere most of de time. Dey didn't care nuffin for her much. Let 'er go roun' barefoot half de time, an' her hair a-flyin'. Only one good frock to her name, an' dat warn't nuffin but calico. I used to wash dat many a time for her long 'fore she was outen her bed. Allus makes my blood bile to dis day whenever I think of de way dey treated dat chile. But it didn't make no diff'ence what she had on—shoes or no shoes—her footses was dat lil. An' purty! Wid her big eyes an' her cheeks jes' 's fresh as dem rosewater roses dat I used to snip off for ole Sam to put on de table. Oh! I tell ye, if ye could picter her like dat dey wouldn't be nobody clear from here to glory could come nigh her."
"It was long and heavy, and it wrapped around the neck twice and hung down to the waist. And that watch at the end of it! Well, I haven't seen anything like it since. I swear it was just as tiny as one of those little biscuits I used to make for her when she came into the kitchen—and she was there most of the time. They didn't care much for her at all. Let her run around barefoot half the time, with her hair flying everywhere. Only one good dress to her name, and it was nothing but calico. I used to wash that many times for her long before she got out of bed. It always makes my blood boil to this day whenever I think of the way they treated that child. But it didn't matter what she had on—shoes or no shoes—her little feet were that small. And pretty! With her big eyes and her cheeks just as fresh as those rosewater roses that I used to snip off for old Sam to put on the table. Oh! I tell you, if you could picture her like that, there wouldn't be anyone from here to glory who could come close to her."
Aunt Chloe's eyes were kindling with every word. I remembered Marny's warning and kept stil. I had abandoned the sketch of the chain as an unnecessary incentive, and had begun again with my palette knife, pottering away, nodding appreciatingly, and now and then putting a question to clear up some tangled situation as to dates and localities which her rambling talk had left unsettled.
Aunt Chloe's eyes were lighting up with every word. I recalled Marny's warning and stayed quiet. I had given up on drawing the chain as a pointless distraction and started over with my palette knife, working away, nodding in appreciation, and occasionally asking questions to clarify some confusing details about dates and places that her wandering conversation had left unclear.
"Yes, suh, down in the blue grass country, near Lexin'ton, Kentucky, whar my ole master, Marse Henry Gordon, lived," she answered to my inquiry as to where this all happened. "I used to go eve'y year to see him after de war was over, an' kep' it up till he died. Dere warn't nobody like him den, an' dere ain't none now. He warn't never spiteful to chillen, white or black. Eve'ybody knowed dat. I was a pickaninny myse'f, an' I belonged to him. An' he ain't never laid a lick on me, an' he wouldn't let nobody else do 't nuther, 'cept my mammy. I 'members one time when Aunt Dinah made cake dat ole Sam—he war a heap younger den—couldn't put it on de table 'ca'se dere was a piece broke out'n it. Sam he riz, an' Dinah she riz, an' after dey'd called each other all de names dey could lay dere tongues to, Miss Ann, my own fust mist'ess, come in an' she say dem chillen tuk dat cake, an' 't ain't nary one o' ye dat's 'sponsible. 'What's dis,' says Marse Henry—'chillen stealin' cake? Send 'em here to me!' When we all come in—dere was six or eight of us—he says, 'Eve'y one o' ye look me in de eye; now which one tuk it?' I kep' lookin' away,—fust on de flo' an' den out de windy. 'Look at me,' he says agin. 'You ain't lookin', Clorindy.' Den I cotched him watchin' me. 'Now you all go out,' he says, 'and de one dat's guilty kin come back agin.' Den we all went out in de yard. 'You tell him,' says one. 'No, you tell him;' an' dat's de way it went on. I knowed I was de wustest, for I opened de door o' de sideboard an' gin it to de others. Den I thought, if I don't tell him mebbe he'll lick de whole passel on us, an' dat ain't right; but if I go tell him an' beg his 'umble pardon he might lemme go. So I crep' 'round where he was a-settin' wid his book on his knee,"—Aunt Chloe was now moving stealthily behind me, her eyes fixed on her imaginary master, head down, one finger in her mouth,—"an' I say, 'Marse Henry!' An' he look up an' say, 'Who's dat?' An' I say, 'Dat's Clorindy.' An' he say, 'What you want?' 'Marse Henry, I come to tell ye I was hungry, an' I see de door open an' I shove it back an' tuk de piece o' cake, an' I thought maybe if I done tole ye you'd forgib me.'
"Yeah, down in the bluegrass region, near Lexington, Kentucky, where my old master, Marse Henry Gordon, lived," she replied when I asked where all this took place. "I used to visit him every year after the war ended, and I kept it up until he passed away. There wasn't anyone like him back then, and there still isn’t. He was never mean to kids, whether they were white or black. Everybody knew that. I was just a little kid myself, and I belonged to him. He never hit me, and he wouldn’t let anyone else do it either, except my mom. I remember one time when Aunt Dinah made a cake that old Sam—who was a lot younger then—couldn’t put on the table because a piece was missing. Sam stood up, and Dinah stood up, and after they’d called each other every name they could think of, Miss Ann, my very first mistress, came in and said the kids took that cake, and none of you is responsible. 'What's this,' says Marse Henry—'kids stealing cake? Send them here to me!' When we all came in—there were six or eight of us—he said, 'Each of you look me in the eye; now which one took it?' I kept looking away—first at the floor and then out the window. 'Look at me,' he said again. 'You’re not looking, Clorindy.' Then I caught him watching me. 'Now you all go out,' he said, 'and the one that’s guilty can come back.' So we all went out into the yard. 'You tell him,' said one. 'No, you tell him;' and that’s how it went. I knew I was the worst because I opened the sideboard door and gave the cake to the others. Then I thought, if I don’t tell him, maybe he’ll whip the whole bunch of us, and that’s not right; but if I go tell him and beg for his forgiveness, he might let me off. So I crept around to where he was sitting with his book on his knee,"—Aunt Chloe was now moving quietly behind me, her eyes locked on her imaginary master, head down, one finger in her mouth—"and I said, 'Marse Henry!' And he looked up and asked, 'Who’s that?' I replied, 'It’s Clorindy.' And he said, 'What do you want?' 'Marse Henry, I came to tell you I was hungry, and I saw the door open, so I pushed it back and took the piece of cake, and I thought maybe if I told you, you’d forgive me.'"
"'Den you is de ringleader,' he says, 'an' you tempted de other chillen?' 'Yes,' I says, 'I 'spec' so.' 'Well,' he says, lookin' down on de carpet, 'now dat you has perfessed an' beg pardon, you is good an' ready to pay 'tention to what I'm gwine to say.' De other chillen had sneaked up an' was listenin'; dey 'spected to see me git it, though dere ain't nary one of 'em ever knowed him to strike 'em a lick. Den he says: 'Dis here is a lil thing,—dis stealin' a cake; an' it's a big thing at de same time. Miss Ann has been right smart put out 'bout it, an' I'm gwine to see dat it don't happen agin. If you see a pin on de fl'or you wouldn't steal it,—you'd pick it up if you wanted it, an' it wouldn't be nuffin, 'cause somebody th'owed it away an' it was free to eve'body; but if you see a piece o' money on de fl'or, you knowed nobody didn't th'ow dat away, an' if you pick it up an' don't tell, dat's somethin' else—dat's stealin', 'cause you tuk somethin' dat somebody else has paid somethin' for an' dat belongs to him. Now dis cake ain't o' much 'count, but it warn't yourn, an' you oughtn't to ha' tuk it. If you'd asked yo'r mist'ess for it she'd gin you a piece. There ain't nuffin here you chillen doan' git when ye ask for it.' I didn't say nuffin more. I jes' waited for him to do anythin' he wanted to me. Den he looks at de carpet for a long time an' he says:—
"'Then you are the ringleader,' he says, 'and you tempted the other kids?' 'Yes,' I say, 'I guess so.' 'Well,' he says, looking down at the carpet, 'now that you have confessed and apologized, you are ready to pay attention to what I'm going to say.' The other kids had sneaked up and were listening; they expected to see me get in trouble, even though none of them had ever known him to hit them. Then he says: 'This here is a small thing—stealing a cake; but at the same time, it’s a big deal. Miss Ann has been really upset about it, and I'm going to make sure it doesn’t happen again. If you see a pin on the floor, you wouldn’t steal it—you’d pick it up if you wanted it, and it wouldn’t mean anything, because someone threw it away, and it was free for everyone; but if you see a piece of money on the floor, you know nobody threw that away, and if you pick it up and don’t tell, that’s something else—that’s stealing, because you took something that someone else paid for and it belongs to them. Now this cake isn’t worth much, but it wasn’t yours, and you shouldn’t have taken it. If you had asked your mistress for it, she would have given you a piece. There’s nothing here that you kids can’t get when you ask for it.' I didn’t say anything more. I just waited for him to do whatever he wanted with me. Then he stared at the carpet for a long time and said:—"
"'I reckon you won't take no mo' cake 'thout askin' for it, Clorindy, an' you chillen kin go out an' play agin.'"
"'I guess you won't take any more cake without asking for it, Clorindy, and you kids can go out and play again.'"
The tears were now standing in her eyes.
The tears were now welling up in her eyes.
"Dat's what my ole master was, suh; I ain't never forgot it. If he had beat me to death he couldn't 'a' done no mo' for me. He jes' splained to me an' I ain't never forgot since."
"That's what my old master was, sir; I’ve never forgotten it. If he had beaten me to death, he couldn’t have done more for me. He just explained things to me and I’ve never forgotten since."
"Did your own mother find it out?" I asked.
"Did your mom find out?" I asked.
The tears were gone now; her face was radiant again at my question.
The tears were gone now; her face lit up again at my question.
"Dat she did, suh. One o' de chillen done tole on me. Mammy jes' made one grab as I run pas' de kitchen door, an' reached for a barrel stave, an' she fairly sot—me—afire!"
"Yeah, she did, sir. One of the kids told on me. Mom just made a grab as I ran past the kitchen door, reached for a barrel stave, and she really set me on fire!"
Aunt Chloe was now holding her sides with laughter, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks.
Aunt Chloe was now laughing so hard that she was holding her sides, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.
"But Marse Henry never knowed it. Lawd, suh, dere ain't nobody round here like him, nor never was. I kin 'member him now same as it was yesterday, wid his white hair, an' he a-settin' in his big chair. It was de las' time I ever see him. De big house was gone, an' de colored people was gone, an' he was dat po' he didn't know where de nex' moufful was a-comin' from. I come out behind him so,"—Aunt Chloe made me her old master and my stool his rocking-chair,—"an' I pat him on the shoulder dis way, an' he say, 'Chloe, is dat you? How is it yo' looks so comfble like?' An' I say, 'It's you, Marse Henry; you done it all; yo' teachin' made me what I is, an' if you study about it you'll know it's so. An' de others ain't no wus'. Of all de colored people you owned, dere ain't nary one been hung, or been in de penitentiary, nor ain't knowed as liars. Dat's de way you fotch us up.'
"But Marse Henry never knew it. Lord, sir, there’s nobody around here like him, and there never was. I can remember him just like it was yesterday, with his white hair, sitting in his big chair. It was the last time I ever saw him. The big house was gone, and the colored people were gone, and he was so poor he didn't even know where his next meal was coming from. I came out behind him like this,"—Aunt Chloe positioned me as her old master and my stool as his rocking-chair,—"and I patted him on the shoulder this way, and he said, 'Chloe, is that you? How come you look so comfortable?' And I said, 'It's you, Marse Henry; you did it all; your teaching made me who I am, and if you think about it, you'll know it’s true. And the others aren't any worse. Of all the colored people you owned, not one has been hung, or has been in prison, and none are known as liars. That’s how you raised us up.'"
"An' I love him yet, an' if he was a-livin' to-day I'd work for him an' take care of him if I went hungry myse'f. De only fool thing Marster Henry ever done was a-marryin' dat widow woman for his second wife. Miss Nannie, dat looks a lil bit like dat chile you got dere before ye"—and she pointed to the canvas—"wouldn't a been sot on an' 'bused like she was but for her. Dat woman warn't nuffin but a harf-strainer noway, if I do say it. Eve'body knowed dat. How Marse Henry Gordon come to marry her nobody don't know till dis day. She warn't none o' our people. Dey do say dat he met her up to Frankfort when he was in de Legislator, but I don't know if dat's so. But she warn't nuffin, nohow."
"And I still love him, and if he were alive today, I'd work for him and take care of him even if I went hungry myself. The only foolish thing Master Henry ever did was marrying that widow for his second wife. Miss Nannie, who looks a little bit like that child you have there before you"—and she pointed to the canvas—"wouldn't have been mistreated and abused like she was if it weren't for her. That woman was nothing but a gold digger, if I may say so. Everybody knew that. How Master Henry Gordon came to marry her, nobody knows to this day. She wasn't one of our people. They say he met her in Frankfort when he was in the legislature, but I don't know if that's true. But she was nothing, anyway."
"Was Miss Nannie her child?" I asked, stepping back from my easel to get the better effect of my canvas.
"Was Miss Nannie her daughter?" I asked, stepping back from my easel to get a better view of my canvas.
"No suh, dat she warn't!" with emphasis. "She was Marse Henry's own sister's chile, she was. Her people—Miss Nannie's—lived up in Indiany, an' dey was jes' 's po' as watermelon rinds, and when her mother died Marse Henry sent for her to come live wid him, 'cause he said Miss Rachel—dat was dat woman's own chile by her fust husband—was lonesome. Dey was bofe about de one age,—fo'teen or fifteen years old,—but Lawd-a-massy! Miss Rachel warn't lonesome 'cept for what he couldn't git, an' she most broke her heart 'bout dat, much 's she could break it 'bout anything.
"No sir, she wasn’t!" she emphasized. "She was Marse Henry's own sister's child, she was. Her family—Miss Nannie’s—lived up in Indiana, and they were as poor as watermelon rinds. When her mother died, Marse Henry had her come live with him because he said Miss Rachel—who was that woman’s own child from her first husband—was lonely. They were both around the same age—fourteen or fifteen years old—but good grief! Miss Rachel wasn’t lonely except for what she couldn’t have, and she nearly broke her heart over that, as much as she could break it over anything."
"I remember de ve'y day Miss Nannie come. I see her comin' down de road totin' a big ban'box, an' a carpet bag mos 's big 's herse'f. Den she turned in de gate. ''Fo' God,' I says to ole Sam, who was settin' de table for dinner, 'who's dis yere comin' in?' Den I see her stop an' set de bundles down an' catch her bref, and den she come on agin.
"I remember the very day Miss Nannie arrived. I saw her coming down the road, carrying a big bandbox and a carpet bag almost as big as she was. Then she turned into the gate. 'For God’s sake,' I said to old Sam, who was setting the table for dinner, 'who's this coming in?' Then I saw her stop, set the bundles down, catch her breath, and then she came on again."
"'Dat's Marse Henry's niece,' he says. 'I heared de mistress say she was a-comin' one day dis week by de coach.'
"'That's Master Henry's niece,' he says. 'I heard the mistress say she was coming one day this week by the coach.'"
"I see right away dat dat woman was up to one of her tricks; she didn't 'tend to let dat chile come no other way 'cept like a servant; she was dat dirt mean.
"I see right away that that woman was up to one of her tricks; she didn't intend to let that child come any other way except as a servant; she was that cruel."
"Oh, you needn't look, suh! I ain't meanin' no onrespect, but I knowed dat woman when Marse Henry fust married her, an' she ain't never fooled me once. Fust time she come into de house she walked plumb in de kitchen, where me an' old Sam an' ole Dinah was a-eaten our dinner, we setten at de table like we useter did, and she flung her head up in de air and she says: 'After dis when I come in I want you niggers to git up on yo' feet.' Think o' dat, will ye? Marse Henry never called nary one of us nigger since we was pickaninnies. I knowed den she warn't 'customed to nuthin'. But I tell ye she never put on dem kind o' airs when Marse Henry was about. No, suh. She was always mighty sugar-like to him when he was home, but dere ain't no conniption she warn't up to when he couldn't hear of it. She had purty nigh riz de roof when he done tell her dat Miss Nannie was a-comin' to live wid 'em, but she couldn't stand agin him, for warn't her only daughter, Miss Rachel, livin' on him, an' not only Miss Rachel, but lots mo' of her people where she come from?
"Oh, you don’t need to look, sir! I don’t mean any disrespect, but I knew that woman when Mr. Henry first married her, and she never fooled me once. The first time she came into the house, she just walked right into the kitchen, where old Sam, old Dinah, and I were having our dinner, sitting at the table like we used to do. She tossed her head back and said, 'From now on, when I come in, I want you all to get up on your feet.' Can you believe that? Mr. Henry never called any of us that since we were kids. I knew then that she wasn’t used to anything. But I’ll tell you, she never acted that way when Mr. Henry was around. No, sir. She was always really nice to him when he was home, but there’s no denying she had a different side when he couldn’t hear her. She nearly lost it when he told her that Miss Nannie was coming to live with them, but she couldn’t go against him, because wasn’t her only daughter, Miss Rachel, living with him? And not just Miss Rachel, but a whole bunch of her family from where she came from?"
"Well, suh, as soon as ole Sam said what chile it was dat was a-comin' down de road I dropped my dishcloth an' I run out to meet 'er.
"Well, sir, as soon as old Sam said which kid it was that was coming down the road, I dropped my dishcloth and ran out to meet her."
"'Is you Miss Nannie?' I says. 'Gimme dat bag,' I says, 'an' dat box.'
"'Are you Miss Nannie?' I ask. 'Give me that bag,' I say, 'and that box.'"
"'Yes,' she says, 'dat's me, an' ain't you Aunt Chloe what I heared so much about?'
"'Yes,' she says, 'that's me, and aren't you Aunt Chloe who I've heard so much about?'"
"Honey, you ain't never gwine to git de kind o' look on dat picter you's workin' on dere, suh, as sweet as dat chile's face when she said dat to me. I loved her from dat fust minute I see her, an' I loved her ever since, jes' as I loved her mother befo' her.
"Honey, you’re never going to get the same look in that picture you’re working on as the sweet expression on that girl’s face when she said that to me. I loved her from the first moment I saw her, and I’ve loved her ever since, just like I loved her mother before her."
"When she got to de house, me a-totin' de things on behind, de mist'ess come out on de po'ch.
"When she got to the house, I was carrying the things behind her, and the mistress came out on the porch."
"'Oh, dat's you, is it, Nannie?' she says. 'Well, Chloe'll tell ye where to go,' an' she went straight in de house agin. Never kissed her, nor touched her, nor nuffin!
"'Oh, is that you, Nannie?' she says. 'Well, Chloe will tell you where to go,' and she went straight back into the house. Didn't kiss her, didn't touch her, nothing!"
"Ole Sam was bilin'. He heard her say it, an' if he was alive he'd tell ye same as me.
"Ole Sam was boiling. He heard her say it, and if he were alive, he'd tell you the same as I am."
"'Where's she gwine to sleep?' I says, callin' after her; 'upstairs long wid Miss Rachel?' I was gittin' hot myse'f, though I didn't say nuffin.
"'Where's she going to sleep?' I said, calling after her; 'upstairs with Miss Rachel?' I was getting upset myself, even though I didn't say anything.
"'No,' she says, flingin' up her head like a goat; 'my daughter needs all de room she's got. You kin take her downstairs an' fix up a place for her longside o' you an' Dinah.' She was de old cook.
"'No,' she says, throwing her head back like a goat; 'my daughter needs all the space she's got. You can take her downstairs and set up a place for her alongside you and Dinah.' She was the old cook."
"'Come long,' I says, 'Miss Nannie,' an' I dropped a curtsey same's if she was a princess. An' so she was, an' Marse Henry's own eyes in her head, an' 'nough like him to be his own chile. 'I'll hab ev'ything ready for ye,' I says. 'You wait here an' take de air,' an' I got a chair an' sot her down on de po'ch, an' ole Sam brung her some cake, an' I went to git de room ready—de room offn de kitchen pantry, where dey puts de overseer's chillen when dey come to see him.
"'Come on,' I said, 'Miss Nannie,' and I dropped a curtsy just like she was a princess. And she was, with Marse Henry's own eyes looking back at me, and just enough like him to be his own child. 'I'll have everything ready for you,' I said. 'You wait here and enjoy the fresh air,' and I got her a chair and sat her down on the porch, and old Sam brought her some cake, while I went to get the room ready—the room off the kitchen pantry, where they put the overseer's kids when they come to visit him.
"Purty soon Miss Rachel come down an' went up an' kissed her—dat is, Sam said so, though I ain't never seen her kiss her dat time nor no other time. Miss Rachel an' de mist'ess was bofe split out o' de same piece o' kindlin', an' what one was agin t' other was agin—a blind man could see dat Miss Rachel never liked Miss Nannie from de fust, she was dat cross-grained and pernicketty. No matter what Miss Nannie done to please her it warn't good 'nough for her. Why, do you know, when de other chillen come over from de nex' plantation Miss Rachel wouldn't send for Miss Nannie to come in de parlor. No, suh, dat she wouldn't! An' dey'd run off an' leave her, too, when dey was gwine picknickin', an' treat dat chile owdacious, sayin' she was po' white trash, an' charity chile, an' things like dat, till I would go an' tell Marse Henry 'bout it. Den dere would be a 'ruction, an' Marse Henry'd blaze out, an' jes 's soon's he was off agin to Frankfort—an' he was dere mos' of de time, for he was one o' dese yere ole-timers dat dey couldn't git long widout at de Legislator—dey'd treat her wus'n ever. Soon's Dinah an' me see dat, we kep' Miss Nannie long wid us much as we could. She'd eat wid 'em when dere warn't no company 'round, but dat was 'bout all."
"Pretty soon Miss Rachel came down and went up and kissed her—that is, Sam said so, though I never saw her kiss her that time or any other time. Miss Rachel and the mistress were both cut from the same cloth, and what one was against, the other was too—any blind person could see that Miss Rachel never liked Miss Nannie from the start; she was just that stubborn and picky. No matter what Miss Nannie did to please her, it wasn't good enough. You know, when the other kids came over from the next plantation, Miss Rachel wouldn't call for Miss Nannie to come into the parlor. No, sir, she wouldn't! And they'd run off and leave her too when they were going picnicking, treating that girl awfully, saying she was poor white trash and a charity girl, and things like that, until I would go tell Marse Henry about it. Then there would be a fuss, and Marse Henry would blow up, and just as soon as he headed off again to Frankfort—and he was there most of the time, because he was one of those old-timers that they couldn't get along without at the Legislature—they'd treat her worse than ever. As soon as Dinah and I saw that, we kept Miss Nannie with us as much as we could. She'd eat with them when there weren't any guests around, but that was about it."
"Did they send her to school?" I asked, fearing she would again lose the thread. My picture had a new meaning for me now that it looked like her heroine.
"Did they send her to school?" I asked, worried she would lose track again. My picture had taken on a new meaning for me now that it resembled her heroine.
"No, suh, dat dey didn't, 'cept to de schoolhouse at de cross-roads whar everybody's chillen went. But dey sent Miss Rachel to a real highty-tighty school, dat dey did, down to Louisville. Two winters she was dere, an' eve'y time when she come home for holiday times she had mo' airs dan when she went away. Marse Henry wanted bofe chillen to go, but dat woman outdid him, an' she faced him up an' down dat dere warn't money 'nough for two, an' dat her daughter was de fittenest, an' all dat, an' he give in. I didn't hear it, but ole Sam did, an' his han' shook so he mos' spilt de soup. But law, honey, dat didn't make no diff'ence to Miss Nannie. She'd go off by herse'f wid her books an' sit all day under de trees, an' sing to herse'f jes' like a bird, an' dey'd sing to her, an' all dat time her face was a-beamin' an' her hair shinin' like gold, an' she a-growin' taller, an' her eyes gittin' bigger an' bigger, an' brighter, an' her little footses white an' cunnin' as a rabbit's.
"No, sir, they didn't, except to the schoolhouse at the crossroads where all the kids went. But they sent Miss Rachel to a fancy school down in Louisville. She spent two winters there, and every time she came home for the holidays, she had more airs than when she left. Mr. Henry wanted both kids to go, but that woman outsmarted him, insisting that there wasn't enough money for two, and that her daughter was the most deserving, and all that, and he gave in. I didn't hear it, but old Sam did, and his hand shook so much he almost spilled the soup. But honestly, that didn't matter to Miss Nannie. She would go off by herself with her books and sit all day under the trees, singing to herself like a bird, and they would sing to her. All that time, her face was beaming, and her hair shining like gold, and she was growing taller, her eyes getting bigger and brighter, and her little feet white and cute like a rabbit's."
"De only place whar she did go outside de big house was over to Mis' Morgan's, who lived on de nex' plantation. Miss Morgan didn't hab no chillen of her own, an' she'd send for Miss Nannie to come an' keep her company, she was dat dead lonesome, an' dey was glad 'nough to let dat chile go so dey could git her out o' de house. Ole Sam allers said dat, for he heared 'em talk at table an' knowed what was gwine on.
"The only place she went outside the big house was over to Miss Morgan's, who lived on the next plantation. Miss Morgan didn’t have any kids of her own, and she’d call for Miss Nannie to come and keep her company because she was so lonely, and they were more than happy to let that girl go so they could get her out of the house. Old Sam always said that, because he heard them talking at the table and knew what was going on."
"Purty soon long come de time when Miss Rachel done finish her eddication, an' she come back to de big house an' sot herse'f up to 'ceive company. She warn't bad lookin' in dem days, I mus' say, an' if dat woman's sperit hadn't 'a' been in her she might 'a' pulled through. But dere warn't no fetching up could stand agin dat blood. Miss Rachel 'd git dat ornery dat you could n't do nuffin wid her, jes' like her maw. De fust real out-an'-out beau she had was Dr. Tom Boling. He lived 'bout fo'teen miles out o' Lexin'ton on de big plantation, an' was de richest young man in our parts. His paw had died 'bout two years befo' an' lef' him mo' money dan he could th'ow away, an' he'd jes' come back from Philadelphy, whar he'd been a-learnin' to be a doctor. He met Miss Rachel at a party in Louisville, an' de fust Sunday she come home he driv over to see her. If ye could 'a' seen de mist'ess when she see him comin' in de gate! All in his ridin' boots an' his yaller breeches an' bottle-green coat, an' his servant a-ridin' behind to hold de horses.
"Pretty soon, the time came when Miss Rachel finished her education, and she returned to the big house and set herself up to receive visitors. She wasn't bad-looking back then, I have to say, and if that woman's spirit hadn't been in her, she might have managed just fine. But there was no charm that could stand against that blood. Miss Rachel would get so stubborn that you couldn't do anything with her, just like her mother. The first real boyfriend she had was Dr. Tom Boling. He lived about fourteen miles outside of Lexington on a large plantation and was the richest young man in our area. His father had died about two years before and left him more money than he could spend, and he had just returned from Philadelphia, where he had been studying to become a doctor. He met Miss Rachel at a party in Louisville, and the first Sunday she came home, he drove over to see her. If you could have seen the mistress when she saw him coming through the gate! All in his riding boots and his yellow pants and bottle-green coat, with his servant riding behind to hold the horses."
"Ole Sam an' me was a-watchin' de mist'ess peekin' th'ough de blind at him, her eyes a-blazin', an' Sam laughed so he had to stuff a napkin in his mouf to keep 'er from hearin' him. Well, suh, dat went on all de summer. Eve'y time he come de mist'ess 'd be dat sweet mos' make a body sick to see her, an' when he'd stay away she was dat pesky dere warn't no livin' wid her. Of co'se dere was plenty mo' gemmen co'rting Miss Rachel, too, but none o' dem didn't count wid de mist'ess 'cept de doctor, 'cause he was rich, dat's all dere was to 't, 'cause he was rich. I tell ye ole Sam had to tell many a lie to the other gemmen, sayin' Miss Rachel was sick or somethin' else when she was a-waitin' for de doctor to come, and was feared he might meet some of 'em an' git skeered away.
"Ole Sam and I were watching the mistress peeking through the blinds at him, her eyes blazing, and Sam laughed so hard that he had to stuff a napkin in his mouth to keep her from hearing him. Well, that went on all summer. Every time he came, the mistress would be so sweet it almost made you sick to see her, and when he stayed away, she was so annoying there was no living with her. Of course, there were plenty more gentlemen courting Miss Rachel, too, but none of them mattered to the mistress except for the doctor, because he was rich, that was all there was to it, because he was rich. I tell you, ole Sam had to tell many lies to the other gentlemen, saying Miss Rachel was sick or something else when she was waiting for the doctor to come, and he was worried he might run into some of them and get scared away."
"Miss Nannie, she'd watch him, too, from behind de kitchen door, or scrunched down lookin' over de pantry winder sill, an' den she'd tell Dinah an' me what he did, an' how he got off his horse an' han' de reins to de boy, an' slap his boots wid his ridin' whip, like he was a-dustin' off a fly. An' she'd act it all out for me an' Dinah, an' slap her own frock, an' den she'd laugh fit to kill herse'f an' dance all 'round de kitchen. Would yo' believe it? No! dere ain't nobody 'd believe it. Dey never asked her to come in once while he was in de parlor, an' dey never once tole him dat Miss Nannie was a-livin' on de top side o' de yearth!
"Miss Nannie would watch him too, from behind the kitchen door, or crouched down looking over the pantry window sill, and then she'd tell Dinah and me what he did, how he got off his horse and handed the reins to the boy, and slapped his boots with his riding whip, like he was dusting off a fly. And she'd act it all out for me and Dinah, slapping her own dress, and then she’d laugh so hard she could have killed herself and dance all around the kitchen. Can you believe it? No! Nobody would believe it. They never asked her to come in once while he was in the parlor, and they never once told him that Miss Nannie was living on the top side of the earth!"
"Co'se people 'gin to talk, an' ev'ybody said dat Dr. Boling was gittin' nighest de coon, an' dat fust thing dey'd know dere would be a weddin' in de Gordon fambly. An' den agin dere was plenty mo' people said he was only passin' de time wid Miss Rachel, an' dat he come to see Marse Henry to talk pol'tics.
"Of course, people started to talk, and everyone said that Dr. Boling was getting close to the raccoon, and that the first thing they knew there would be a wedding in the Gordon family. And then again, there were plenty more people who said he was just passing the time with Miss Rachel, and that he came to see Marse Henry to discuss politics."
"Well, one day, suh, I was a-standin' in de door an' I see him come in a-foot, widout his horse an' servant, an' step up on de po'ch quick an' rap at de do', like he say to himse'f, 'Lemme in; I'm in a hurry; I got somethin' on my mind.' Ole Sam was jes' a-gwine to open de do' for him when Miss Nannie come a-runnin' in de kitchen from de yard, her cheeks like de roses, her hair a-flyin', an' her big hat hangin' to a string down her back. I gin Sam one look an' he stopped, an' I says to Miss Nannie, 'Run, honey,' I says, 'an' open de do' for ole Sam; I spec',' I says, 'it's one o' dem peddlers.'
"One day, I was standing in the doorway when I saw him walk in, without his horse and servant, and hurry up to the porch and knock on the door, like he was saying to himself, 'Let me in; I’m in a hurry; I’ve got something on my mind.' Old Sam was just about to open the door for him when Miss Nannie came running into the kitchen from the yard, her cheeks like roses, her hair flying everywhere, and her big hat hanging down by a string on her back. I gave Sam a look and he stopped, and I said to Miss Nannie, 'Run, honey, and open the door for old Sam; I think it’s one of those peddlers.'"
"If you could 'a' seen dat chile's face when she come back!"
"If you could've seen that child's face when she came back!"
Aunt Chloe's hands were now waving above her head, her mouth wide open in her merriment, every tooth shining.
Aunt Chloe was now waving her hands above her head, her mouth wide open in laughter, every tooth shining.
"She was white one minute an' red as a beet the nex'. 'Oh, Aunt Chloe, what did you let me go for?' she says. 'Oh! I wouldn't 'a' let him see me like dis for anythin' in de wo'ld. Oh, I'm dat put out.'
"She was pale one minute and bright red the next. 'Oh, Aunt Chloe, why did you let me go?' she says. 'Oh! I wouldn't have wanted him to see me like this for anything in the world. Oh, I'm so upset.'"
"'What did he say to ye, honey?' I says.
"'What did he say to you, honey?' I ask."
"'He didn't say nuffin; he jes' look at me an' say he beg my pardon, an' was Miss Rachel in, an' den I said I'd run an' tell her, an' when I come downstairs agin he was a-standin' in de hall wid his eyes up de staircase, an' he never stopped lookin' at me till I come down.'
"'He didn't say anything; he just looked at me and said he was sorry, and asked if Miss Rachel was in, and then I said I'd go and tell her. When I came back downstairs, he was standing in the hall with his eyes directed up the staircase, and he didn't stop looking at me until I came down.'"
"'Well, dat won't do you no harm, chile,' I says; 'a cat kin look at a king.'
"'Well, that won't do you any harm, kid,' I said; 'a cat can look at a king.'"
"Ole Sam was a-watchin' her, too, an' when she'd gone in her leetle room an' shet de do' Sam says, 'I'll lay if Marse Tom Boling had anythin' on his mind when he come here to-day it's mighty onsettled by dis time.'
"Ole Sam was watching her too, and when she went into her little room and shut the door, Sam said, 'I bet if Marse Tom Boling had anything on his mind when he came here today, it's pretty unsettled by now.'"
"Nex' time Dr. Tom Boling come he say to de mist'ess, 'Who's dat young lady,' he says, 'dat opened de door for me las' time I was here? I hoped to see her agin. Is she in?'
"Nex' time Dr. Tom Boling came, he said to the mistress, 'Who's that young lady,' he says, 'that opened the door for me last time I was here? I hoped to see her again. Is she in?'"
"Den dey bofe cooked up some lie' bout her bein' over to Mis' Morgan's or somethin', an' as soon 's he was gone dey come down an' riz Sam for not 'tendin' de door an' lettin' dat ragged fly-away gal open it. Den dey went for Miss Nannie till dey made her cry, an' she come to me, an' I took her in my lap an' comfo'ted her like I allers did.
"Then they both made up some story about her being over at Miss Morgan's or something, and as soon as he left, they came down and yelled at Sam for not answering the door and letting that ragged, wild girl open it. Then they went after Miss Nannie until they made her cry, and she came to me, and I took her in my lap and comforted her like I always did."
"De nex' time he come he says, 'I hear dat yo'r niece, Miss Nannie Barnes, is livin' wid you, an' dat she is ve'y 'sclusive. I hope dat you'll 'suade her to come in de parlor,' he says. Dem was his ve'y words. Sam was a-standin' close to him as I am to you an' he heared him.
"Next time he came, he said, 'I heard that your niece, Miss Nannie Barnes, is living with you, and that she is very exclusive. I hope you'll persuade her to come into the parlor,' he said. Those were his exact words. Sam was standing close to him just like I am to you, and he heard him."
"'She ain't yet in s'ciety,' de mist'ess says, 'an' she's dat wild dat we can't p'esent her.'
"'She isn't in society yet,' the mistress says, 'and she's so wild that we can't present her.'"
"'Oh! is dat so?' he says. 'Is she in now?'
"'Oh! is that so?' he says. 'Is she in now?'"
"'No,' she says, 'she's over to Mis' Morgan's.'
"'No,' she says, 'she's at Ms. Morgan's place.'"
"Dat was a fac' dis time; she'd gone dat very mawnin'. Den Miss Rachel come down, an' co'se Sam didn't hear no mo' 'cause he had to go out. Purty soon out de doctor come. Dese visits, min' ye, was gittin' shorter an' shorter, though he do come as often, an' over he goes to Mis' Morgan's hisse'f.
"That was a fact this time; she'd left that very morning. Then Miss Rachel came down, and of course Sam didn't hear anymore because he had to go out. Pretty soon the doctor came out. These visits, mind you, were getting shorter and shorter, even though he came just as often, and he went over to Mrs. Morgan's himself."
"Now I doan' know what he said to Miss Nannie, or what passed 'twixt 'em, 'cause she didn't tell me. Only dat she said he had come to see Mis' Morgan 'bout some land matters, an' dat Mis' Morgan interjuced 'em, but nuffin mo'. Lord bless dat chile! An', suh, dat was de fust time she ever kep' anythin' from her ole mammy. Dat made me mo' glad 'n ever. I knowed den dey was bofe hit.
"Now I don’t know what he said to Miss Nannie or what went on between them, because she didn’t tell me. Only that she said he came to see Mrs. Morgan about some land issues, and that Mrs. Morgan introduced them, but nothing more. Lord bless that girl! And, sir, that was the first time she ever kept anything from her old mom. That made me happier than ever. I knew then they were both interested in each other."
"But my lah', de fur begin to fly when de mist'ess an' Miss Rachel heared 'bout dat visit!
"But my gosh, the fur really started to fly when the mistress and Miss Rachel heard about that visit!"
"'What you mean by makin' eyes at Dr. Boling? Don't you know he's good as 'gaged to my daughter?' de mist'ess said. Dat was a lie, for he never said a word to Miss Rachel; ole Sam could tole you dat. 'Git out o' my house, you good-for-nothin' pauper, an' take yo' rags wid ye.'
"'What do you mean by flirting with Dr. Boling? Don’t you know he’s practically engaged to my daughter?' the mistress said. That was a lie, because he never said a word to Miss Rachel; old Sam could tell you that. 'Get out of my house, you worthless freeloader, and take your rags with you.'"
"I see right away de fat was in de fire. Marse Henry warn't 'spected home till de nex' Sunday, an' so I tuk her over to Mis' Morgan, an' den I ups an' tells her everything dat woman had done to dat chile since de day she come. An' when I'd done she tuk Miss Nannie by de han' an' she says:—
"I saw immediately that things were about to get messy. Mr. Henry wasn't expected home until the next Sunday, so I took her over to Mrs. Morgan, and then I went ahead and told her everything that woman had done to that child since the day she arrived. And when I finished, she took Miss Nannie by the hand and said:—"
"'You won't never want a home, chile, so long as I live. Go back, Chloe, an' git her clo'es.' But I didn't git 'em. I knowed Marse Henry 'd raise de roof when he come, an' he did, bless yo' heart. Went over hisse'f an' got her, an' brought her home, an' dat night when Dr. Boling come he made her sit down in de parlor, an' 'fo' he went home dat night de Doctor he say to Marse Henry, 'I want yo' permission, Mister Gordon, to pay my addresses to Miss Nannie, yo' niece.' Sam was a-standing close as he could git to de door, an' he heard ev'y word. Now he ain't never said dat, mind ye, to Marse Henry 'bout Miss Rachel! An' dat's why I know dat he warn't hit unto death wid her.
“You’ll never want for a home, child, as long as I’m alive. Go on, Chloe, and get her clothes.” But I didn’t get them. I knew Mr. Henry would be furious when he came home, and he was, bless your heart. He went himself and got her, brought her home, and that night when Dr. Boling came, he made her sit down in the parlor. Before he left that night, the Doctor said to Mr. Henry, “I’d like your permission, Mr. Gordon, to pursue Miss Nannie, your niece.” Sam was standing as close to the door as he could get, and he heard every word. Now, he never said that to Mr. Henry about Miss Rachel! And that’s why I know he wasn’t deeply affected by her.
"Well, do you know, suh, dat dat woman was dat owdacious she wouldn't let 'em see each other after dat 'cept on de front po'ch. Wouldn't let 'em come in de house; make 'em do all dere co'rtin' on de steps an' out at de paster gate. De doctor would rare an' pitch an' git white in de face at de scandlous way dat Miss Barnes was bein' treated, until Miss Nannie put bofe her leetle han's on his'n, soothin' like, an' den he'd grab 'em an' kiss 'em like he'd eat 'em up. Sam cotched him at it, an' done tole me; an' den dey'd sa'nter off down de po'ch, sayin' it was too hot or too cool, or dat dey was lookin' for birds' nests in de po'ch vines, till dey'd git to de far end, where de mist'ess nor Sam nor nobody else couldn't hear what dey was a-sayin' an' a-whisperin', an' dere dey'd sit fer hours.
"Well, you know, that woman was so bold she wouldn't let them see each other after that except on the front porch. She wouldn't let them come inside the house; she made them do all their courting on the steps and by the pasture gate. The doctor would get angry and turn pale at the outrageous way Miss Barnes was being treated, until Miss Nannie placed both her little hands on his, soothing him, and then he’d grab them and kiss them as if he wanted to devour them. Sam caught him doing that and told me; then they would stroll down the porch, saying it was too hot or too cool, or that they were looking for birds' nests in the porch vines, until they reached the far end, where Miss Nannie, Sam, or anyone else couldn’t hear what they were saying and whispering, and there they would sit for hours."
"But I tell ye de doctor had a hard time a-gittin' her even when Marse Henry gin his consent. An' he never would 'a' got her if Miss Rachel, jes' for spite, I spec', hadn't 'a' took up wid Colonel Todhunter's son dat was a-co'rtin' on her too, an' run off an' married him. Den Miss Nannie knowed she was free to follow her own heart.
"But I tell you, the doctor had a tough time getting her even when Master Henry gave his consent. And he never would have gotten her if Miss Rachel, just out of spite, I guess, hadn't started seeing Colonel Todhunter's son who was also pursuing her, and ran off and married him. Then Miss Nannie knew she was free to follow her own heart."
"I tell you it'd 'a' made ye cry yo' eyes out, suh, to see dat chile try an' fix herse'f up to meet him de days an' nights she knowed he was comin', an' she wid jes' one white frock to her name. An' we all felt jes' as bad as her. Dinah would wash it an' I'd smooth her hair, an' ole Sam 'd git her a fresh rose to put in her neck.
"I swear it would have made you cry your eyes out, sir, to see that girl try to get herself ready to meet him on the days and nights she knew he was coming, and she only had one white dress to her name. And we all felt just as bad for her. Dinah would wash it, and I’d smooth her hair, and old Sam would get her a fresh rose to put in her neck."
"Purty soon de weddin' day was 'pinted, an' me an' Dinah an' ole Sam 'gin to wonder how dat chile was a-gwine to git clo'es to be married in. Sam heared ole marster ask dat same question at de table, an' he see him gib de mist'ess de money to buy 'em for her, an' de mist'ess said dat she reckoned 'Miss Nannie's people would want de privlege o' dressin' her now dat she was a-gwine to marry dat wo'thless young doctor, Tom Boling, dat nobody wouldn't hab in de house, but dat if dey didn't she'd gin her some of Miss Rachel's clo'es, an' if dem warn't 'nough den she'd spen' de money to de best advantage.' Dem was her ve'y words. Sam heared her say 'em. I knowed dat meant dat de chile would go naked, for she wouldn't a-worn none o' Miss Rachel's rubbish, an' not a cent would she git o' de money. So I got dat ole white frock out, an' Dinah found a white ribbon in a ole trunk in de garret, an' washed an' ironed it to tie 'round her waist, an' Miss Nannie come an' look at it, an' when she see it de tears riz up in her eyes.
Pretty soon the wedding day was set, and Dinah, old Sam, and I started to wonder how that girl was going to get clothes to be married in. Sam heard the old master ask that same question at the table, and he saw him give the mistress the money to buy them for her. The mistress said she thought ‘Miss Nannie’s people would want the privilege of dressing her now that she was going to marry that worthless young doctor, Tom Boling, that nobody wanted in the house. But if they didn’t, she’d give her some of Miss Rachel's clothes, and if those weren’t enough, then she'd spend the money wisely.’ Those were her exact words. Sam heard her say them. I knew that meant the girl would end up with nothing, because she wouldn’t wear any of Miss Rachel's junk, and she wouldn’t get a cent of the money. So I pulled out that old white dress, and Dinah found a white ribbon in an old trunk in the attic, washed it, and ironed it to tie around her waist. Miss Nannie came and looked at it, and when she saw it, tears filled her eyes.
"'Doan' you cry, chile,' I says. 'He ain't lovin' ye for yo' clo'es, an' never did. Fust time he see ye yo' was purty nigh barefoot. It's you he wants, not yo' frocks, honey;' an' den de sun come out in her face an' her eyes dried up, an' she 'gin to smile an' sing like a robin after de rain.
"'Don't cry, sweetie,' I said. 'He doesn't love you for your clothes, and he never did. The first time he saw you, you were almost barefoot. It's you he wants, not your dresses, honey;' and then the sun came out on her face, her eyes dried up, and she started to smile and sing like a robin after the rain."
"Purty soon long come Chris'mas time, an' me an' ole Sam an' Dinah was a-watchin' out to see what Marse Tom Boling was gwine to gin his bride, fur she was purty nigh dat, as dey was to be married de week after Chris'mas. Well, suh, de mawnin' 'fore Chris'mas come, an' den de arternoon come, an' den de night come, an' mos' ev'y hour somebody sent somethin' for Miss Rachel, an' yet not one scrap of nuffin big as a chink-a-pin come for Miss Nannie. Dinah an' me was dat onresless dat we couldn't sleep. Miss Nannie didn't say nuffin when she went to bed, but I see a little shadder creep over her face an' I knowed right away what hurted her.
"Pretty soon, Christmas time arrived, and I, old Sam, and Dinah were watching to see what Marse Tom Boling would give his bride since they were getting married the week after Christmas. Well, sir, the morning before Christmas came, then the afternoon, and then the night, and almost every hour someone sent something for Miss Rachel, yet not a single thing as small as a pin came for Miss Nannie. Dinah and I were so restless that we couldn't sleep. Miss Nannie didn't say anything when she went to bed, but I saw a little shadow creep over her face, and I knew right away what was bothering her."
"Well, de nex' mawnin'—Chris'mas mawnin' dat was—ole Sam come a-bustin' in de kitchen do', a-hollerin' loud as he could holler"—Aunt Chloe was now rocking herself back and forth, clapping her hands as she talked—"dat dere was a trunk on de front po'ch for Miss Nannie dat was dat heavy it tuk fo' niggers to lif it. I run, an' Dinah run, an' when we got to de trunk mos' all de niggers was thick 'round it as flies, an' Miss Nannie was standin' over it readin' a card wid her name on it an' a 'scription sayin' dat it was 'a Chris'mas gif, wid de compliments of a friend.' But who dat friend was, whether it was Marse Henry, who sent it dat way so dat woman wouldn't tear his hair out; or whether Mis' Morgan sent it, dat hadn't mo'n 'nough money to live on; or whether some of her own kin in Indiany, dat was dirt po', stole de money an' sent it; or whether de young Dr. Tom Doling, who had mo' money dan all de banks in Lexin'ton, done did it, don't nobody know till dis day, 'cept me an' ole Sam, an' we ain't tellin'.
"Well, the next morning—Christmas morning, that was—old Sam came bursting through the kitchen door, shouting as loud as he could"—Aunt Chloe was now rocking back and forth, clapping her hands as she spoke—"that there was a trunk on the front porch for Miss Nannie that was so heavy it took four people to lift it. I ran, and Dinah ran, and when we got to the trunk, most of the people were gathered around it like flies, and Miss Nannie was standing over it reading a card with her name on it and a description saying it was 'a Christmas gift, with the compliments of a friend.' But who that friend was, whether it was Marse Henry, who sent it that way so that woman wouldn't pull his hair out; or whether Miss Morgan sent it, who barely had enough money to get by; or whether some of her own relatives in Indiana, who were dirt poor, stole the money and sent it; or whether the young Dr. Tom Doling, who had more money than all the banks in Lexington, did it, nobody knows to this day, except me and old Sam, and we aren't telling."
"But, my soul alive, de insides of dat trunk took de bref clean out o' de mist'ess an' Miss Rachel. Sam opened it, an' I tuk out de things. Honey! dere was a weddin' dress all white satin dat would stand alone,—jes' de ve'y mate of de one you got in dat picter 'fore ye,—an' a change'ble silk, dat heavy! an' a plaid one, an' eve'ything a young lady could git on her back from her skin out, an' a thousand-dollar watch an' chain. I wore dat watch myse'f; Miss Nannie was standin' by me, a-clappin' her han's an' laughin', an' when dat watch an' chain came out she jes' th'owed de chain over my neck an' stuck de leetle watch in my bosom, an' says, 'Dere, you dear ole mammy, go look at you'se'f in de glass an' see how fine you is.'
"But, my goodness, the inside of that trunk took the breath right out of the mistress and Miss Rachel. Sam opened it, and I took out the things. Wow! There was a wedding dress all in white satin that could stand up by itself—just the exact match of the one you have in that picture before you—and a changeable silk, it was so heavy! And a plaid one, and everything a young lady could wear from her skin out, and a thousand-dollar watch and chain. I wore that watch myself; Miss Nannie was standing by me, clapping her hands and laughing, and when that watch and chain came out, she just threw the chain over my neck and stuck the little watch in my bosom, and said, 'There, you dear old mammy, go look at yourself in the mirror and see how fine you are.'"
"De nex' week come de weddin'. I'll never forgit dat weddin' to my dyin' day. Marse Tom Boling driv in wid a coach an' four an' two outriders, an' de horses wore white ribbons on dere ears; an' de coachman had flowers in his coat mos' big as his head, an' dey whirled up in front of de po'ch, an' out he stepped in his blue coat an' brass buttons an' a yaller wais'coat,—yaller as a gourd,—an' his bell-crown hat in his han'. She was a-waitin' for him wid dat white satin dress on, an' de chain 'round her neck, an' her lil footses tied up wid silk ribbons de ve'y match o' dem you got pictered, an' her face shinin' like a angel. An' all de niggers was a-standin' 'roun' de po'ch, dere eyes out'n dere heads, an' Marse Henry was dere in his new clo'es lookin' so grand, an' Sam in his white gloves, an' me in a new head han'chief.
"The next week was the wedding. I'll never forget that wedding for the rest of my life. Mr. Tom Boling arrived in a coach and four with two outriders, and the horses had white ribbons on their ears; the coachman had flowers in his coat nearly as big as his head, and they pulled up in front of the porch. He stepped out in his blue coat with brass buttons and a yellow waistcoat—yellow as a gourd—and his bell-crowned hat in his hand. She was waiting for him in that white satin dress, with a chain around her neck, and her little feet tied up with silk ribbons that matched yours perfectly, and her face shining like an angel. All the folks were standing around the porch, eyes wide open, and Mr. Henry was there in his new clothes looking so grand, and Sam in his white gloves, and I was wearing a new handkerchief."
"Eve'body was happy 'cept one. Dat one was de mist'ess, standin' in de door. She wouldn't come out to de coach where de horses was a-champin' de bits an' de froth a-droppin' on de groun', an' she wouldn't speak to Marse Tom. She kep' back in de do'way.
"Eve'body was happy except one. That one was the mistress, standing in the doorway. She wouldn't come out to the coach where the horses were champing at the bits and the froth was dropping on the ground, and she wouldn't speak to Marse Tom. She stayed back in the doorway."
"Miss Rachel was dat mean she wouldn't come downstairs.
"Miss Rachel was so mean she wouldn't come downstairs."
"Miss Nannie gib Marse Tom Boling her han' an' look up in his face like a queen, an' den she kissed Marse Henry, an' whispered somethin' in his ear dat nobody didn't hear, only de tears gin to jump out an' roll down his cheeks, an' den she looked de mist'ess full in de face, an' 'thout a word dropped her a low curtsey.
"Miss Nannie gave Marse Tom Boling her hand and looked up at his face like a queen, and then she kissed Marse Henry and whispered something in his ear that nobody heard, but the tears started to fall and roll down his cheeks, and then she looked the mistress right in the face, and without a word, dropped her a low curtsy."
"I come de las'. She looked at me for a minute wid her eyes a-swimmin', an' den she th'owed her arms roun' my neck an' hugged an' kissed me, an' den I see an arm slip 'roun' her wais' an' lif her in de coach. Den de horses 'gin a plunge an' dey was off.
"I come from the last. She looked at me for a minute with her eyes swimming, and then she threw her arms around my neck and hugged and kissed me, and then I saw an arm slip around her waist and lift her into the coach. Then the horses started to lunge and they were off."
"An' arter dat dey had five years—de happiest years dem two ever seen. I know, 'cause Marse Henry gin me to her, an' I lived wid 'em day in an' day out till dat baby come, an' den—"
"Then after that, they had five years—the happiest years those two ever had. I know, because Mr. Henry gave me to her, and I lived with them day in and day out until that baby came, and then—"
Aunt Chloe stopped and reached out her hand as if to steady herself. The tears were streaming down her cheeks.
Aunt Chloe paused and reached out her hand as if to balance herself. Tears were flowing down her cheeks.
Then she advanced a step, fixed her eyes on the portrait, and in a voice broken with emotion, said:—
Then she took a step forward, focused her gaze on the portrait, and with a voice filled with emotion, said:—
"Honey, chile,—honey, chile,—is you tired a-waitin' for yo' ole mammy? Keep a-watchin', honey—keep a-watchin'—It won't be long now 'fore I come. Keep a-watchin'."
"Honey, darling,—honey, darling,—are you tired of waiting for your old mom? Keep watching, sweetheart—keep watching—it won't be long before I get there. Keep watching."
BY THE WATERS OF PARADISE
By F. MARION CRAWFORD
Copyright 1894 by G. P. Putnam's Sons.
Copyright 1894 by G. P. Putnam's Sons.
I
I remember my childhood very distinctly. I do not think that the fact argues a good memory, for I have never been clever at learning words by heart, in prose or rhyme; so that I believe my remembrance of events depends much more upon the events themselves than upon my possessing any special facility for recalling them. Perhaps I am too imaginative, and the earliest impressions I received were of a kind to stimulate the imagination abnormally. A long series of little misfortunes, so connected with each other as to suggest a sort of weird fatality, so worked upon my melancholy temperament when I was a boy that, before I was of age, I sincerely believed myself to be under a curse, and not only myself, but my whole family and every individual who bore my name.
I clearly remember my childhood. I don’t think that means I have a good memory, though, because I’ve never been good at memorizing words, whether in prose or poetry. I believe my recollection of events relies more on the events themselves than on any special ability I have to remember them. Maybe I'm too imaginative, and the first impressions I had were the kind that overly stimulated my imagination. A long string of small misfortunes, all connected in a way that felt eerily fated, really affected my gloomy temperament as a child. By the time I reached adulthood, I genuinely believed I was cursed, and not just me, but my entire family and everyone who shared my name.
I was born in the old place where my father, and his father, and all his predecessors had been born, beyond the memory of man. It is a very old house, and the greater part of it was originally a castle, strongly fortified, and surrounded by a steep moat supplied with abundant water from the hills by a hidden aqueduct. Many of the fortifications have been destroyed, and the moat has been filled up. The water from the aqueduct supplies great fountains, and runs down into huge oblong basins in the terraced gardens, one below the other, each surrounded by a broad pavement of marble between the water and the flower-beds. The waste surplus finally escapes through an artificial grotto, some thirty yards long, into a stream, flowing down through the park to the meadows beyond, and thence to the distant river. The buildings were extended a little and greatly altered more than two hundred years ago, in the time of Charles II., but since then little has been done to improve them, though they have been kept in fairly good repair, according to our fortunes.
I was born in the old place where my father, his father, and all his ancestors were born, long before anyone can remember. It’s a very old house, and most of it used to be a castle, heavily fortified and surrounded by a deep moat filled with plenty of water from the hills through a hidden aqueduct. Many of the fortifications have been destroyed, and the moat has been filled in. The water from the aqueduct feeds beautiful fountains and flows into large rectangular basins in the terraced gardens, stacked one below the other, each bordered by a wide marble walkway between the water and the flower beds. The extra water eventually drains through an artificial grotto about thirty yards long, into a stream that flows through the park to the meadows beyond, and then to the distant river. The buildings were slightly expanded and significantly changed over two hundred years ago during the time of Charles II, but since then not much has been done to improve them, though we’ve maintained them in pretty good shape, considering our financial situation.
In the gardens there are terraces and huge hedges of box and evergreen, some of which used to be clipped into shapes of animals, in the Italian style. I can remember when I was a lad how I used to try to make out what the trees were cut to represent, and how I used to appeal for explanations to Judith, my Welsh nurse. She dealt in a strange mythology of her own, and peopled the gardens with griffins, dragons, good genii and bad, and filled my mind with them at the same time. My nursery window afforded a view of the great fountains at the head of the upper basin, and on moonlight nights the Welshwoman would hold me up to the glass and bid me look at the mist and spray rising into mysterious shapes, moving mystically in the white light like living things.
In the gardens, there are terraces and large hedges of boxwood and evergreens, some of which were once trimmed into shapes of animals, in the Italian style. I remember when I was a kid trying to figure out what the trees were meant to represent, and how I would ask Judith, my Welsh nurse, for explanations. She had her own strange mythology and filled the gardens with griffins, dragons, good and bad spirits, and filled my mind with them at the same time. My nursery window provided a view of the big fountains at the top of the upper basin, and on moonlit nights, the Welshwoman would lift me up to the glass and tell me to look at the mist and spray rising into mysterious shapes, moving enchantingly in the white light like living creatures.
"It's the Woman of the Water," she used to say; and sometimes she would threaten that if I did not go to sleep the Woman of the Water would steal up to the high window and carry me away in her wet arms.
"It's the Woman of the Water," she would say; and sometimes she would warn me that if I didn't go to sleep, the Woman of the Water would sneak up to the high window and take me away in her wet arms.

The place was gloomy. The broad basins of water and the tall evergreen hedges gave it a funereal look, and the damp-stained marble causeways by the pools might have been made of tombstones. The gray and weather-beaten walls and towers without, the dark and massively furnished rooms within, the deep, mysterious recesses and the heavy curtains, all affected my spirits. I was silent and sad from my childhood. There was a great clock tower above, from which the hours rang dismally during the day, and tolled like a knell in the dead of night. There was no light nor life in the house, for my mother was a helpless invalid, and my father had grown melancholy in his long task of caring for her. He was a thin, dark man, with sad eyes; kind, I think, but silent and unhappy. Next to my mother, I believe he loved me better than anything on earth, for he took immense pains and trouble in teaching me, and what he taught me I have never forgotten. Perhaps it was his only amusement, and that may be the reason why I had no nursery governess or teacher of any kind while he lived.
The place was gloomy. The wide pools of water and the tall evergreen hedges gave it a funeral vibe, and the damp-stained marble pathways by the pools looked like tombstones. The gray, weathered walls and towers outside, the dark, heavily furnished rooms inside, the deep, mysterious corners, and the heavy curtains all affected my mood. I was silent and sad since childhood. There was a large clock tower above, whose hours chimed gloomily during the day and tolled like a funeral bell in the dead of night. There was no light or life in the house because my mother was a helpless invalid, and my father had become melancholic from the long task of taking care of her. He was a thin, dark man with sad eyes; kind, I think, but quiet and unhappy. Next to my mother, I believe he loved me more than anything else in the world because he went to great lengths to teach me, and what he taught me has stuck with me. Maybe it was his only source of joy, which is probably why I had no nursery governess or teacher of any kind while he was alive.
I used to be taken to see my mother every day, and sometimes twice a day, for an hour at a time. Then I sat upon a little stool near her feet, and she would ask me what I had been doing, and what I wanted to do. I dare say she saw already the seeds of a profound melancholy in my nature, for she looked at me always with a sad smile, and kissed me with a sigh when I was taken away.
I was taken to see my mom every day, and sometimes twice a day, for an hour each time. I would sit on a small stool near her feet, and she would ask me what I had been up to and what I wanted to do. I guess she already saw the signs of a deep sadness in me because she always looked at me with a sad smile and kissed me with a sigh when it was time for me to leave.
One night, when I was just six years old, I lay awake in the nursery. The door was not quite shut, and the Welsh nurse was sitting sewing in the next room. Suddenly I heard her groan, and say in a strange voice, "One—two—one—two!" I was frightened, and I jumped up and ran to the door, barefooted as I was.
One night, when I was only six years old, I was lying awake in the nursery. The door wasn't completely closed, and the Welsh nurse was in the next room, sewing. Suddenly, I heard her groan and say in a weird voice, "One—two—one—two!" I got scared, jumped up, and ran to the door, barefoot.
"What is it, Judith?" I cried, clinging to her skirts. I can remember the look in her strange dark eyes as she answered:
"What is it, Judith?" I yelled, holding onto her skirts. I can still picture the expression in her unusual dark eyes as she responded:
"One—two leaden coffins, fallen from the ceiling!" she crooned, working herself in her chair. "One—two—a light coffin and a heavy coffin, falling to the floor!"
"One—two heavy coffins, dropping from the ceiling!" she sang softly, moving in her chair. "One—two—a light coffin and a heavy coffin, hitting the floor!"
Then she seemed to notice me, and she took me back to bed and sang me to sleep with a queer old Welsh song.
Then she seemed to notice me, and she took me back to bed and sang me to sleep with an odd old Welsh song.
I do not know how it was, but the impression got hold of me that she had meant that my father and mother were going to die very soon. They died in the very room where she had been sitting that night. It was a great room, my day nursery, full of sun when there was any; and when the days were dark it was the most cheerful place in the house. My mother grew rapidly worse, and I was transferred to another part of the building to make place for her. They thought my nursery was gayer for her, I suppose; but she could not live. She was beautiful when she was dead, and I cried bitterly.
I don’t know how it happened, but I got the feeling that she was saying my dad and mom were going to die really soon. They passed away in the same room where she had been sitting that night. It was a big room, my day nursery, filled with sunlight when it was bright outside; and on dark days, it was the happiest place in the house. My mom got worse really fast, and I was moved to another part of the building to make room for her. I guess they thought my nursery would feel cheerier for her, but she couldn’t survive. She looked beautiful when she died, and I cried a lot.
"The light one, the light one—the heavy one to come," crooned the Welshwoman. And she was right. My father took the room after my mother was gone, and day by day he grew thinner and paler and sadder.
"The light one, the light one—the heavy one to come," sang the Welshwoman. And she was right. My father took over the room after my mother was gone, and day by day he got thinner, paler, and more sad.
"The heavy one, the heavy one—all of lead," moaned my nurse, one night in December, standing still, just as she was going to take away the light after putting me to bed. Then she took me up again and wrapped me in a little gown, and led me away to my father's room. She knocked, but no one answered. She opened the door, and we found him in his easy chair before the fire, very white, quite dead.
"The heavy one, the heavy one—all made of lead," my nurse sighed one night in December, pausing just as she was about to turn off the light after putting me to bed. Then she picked me up again, wrapped me in a little gown, and took me to my father's room. She knocked, but no one answered. She opened the door, and we found him in his armchair by the fire, very pale, completely dead.
So I was alone with the Welshwoman till strange people came, and relations whom I had never seen; and then I heard them saying that I must be taken away to some more cheerful place. They were kind people, and I will not believe that they were kind only because I was to be very rich when I grew to be a man. The world never seemed to be a very bad place to me, nor all the people to be miserable sinners, even when I was most melancholy. I do not remember that any one ever did me any great injustice, nor that I was ever oppressed or ill-treated in any way, even by the boys at school. I was sad, I suppose, because my childhood was so gloomy, and, later, because I was unlucky in everything I undertook, till I finally believed I was pursued by fate, and I used to dream that the old Welsh nurse and the Woman of the Water between them had vowed to pursue me to my end. But my natural disposition should have been cheerful, as I have often thought.
So I was alone with the Welsh woman until some unfamiliar people showed up, along with relatives I had never met; then I heard them saying that I needed to be taken to a happier place. They were nice people, and I can't believe they were being nice just because I was going to be very wealthy when I grew up. The world never seemed like a really bad place to me, nor did all the people seem like miserable sinners, even during my most down days. I don't remember anyone doing me any major injustices, nor was I ever oppressed or mistreated in any way, even by the boys at school. I was probably sad because my childhood was so dark and later because I had bad luck with everything I tried, until I eventually thought I was cursed, and I used to dream that the old Welsh nurse and the Woman of the Water had both sworn to follow me to my end. But I often believe my natural disposition should have been cheerful.
Among the lads of my age I was never last, or even among the last, in anything; but I was never first. If I trained for a race, I was sure to sprain my ankle on the day when I was to run. If I pulled an oar with others, my oar was sure to break. If I competed for a prize, some unforeseen accident prevented my winning it at the last moment. Nothing to which I put my hand succeeded, and I got the reputation of being unlucky, until my companions felt it was always safe to bet against me, no matter what the appearances might be. I became discouraged and listless in everything. I gave up the idea of competing for any distinction at the University, comforting myself with the thought that I could not fail in the examination for the ordinary degree. The day before the examination began I fell ill; and when at last I recovered, after a narrow escape from death, I turned my back upon Oxford, and went down alone to visit the old place where I had been born, feeble in health and profoundly disgusted and discouraged. I was twenty-one years of age, master of myself and of my fortune; but so deeply had the long chain of small unlucky circumstances affected me that I thought seriously of shutting myself up from the world to live the life of a hermit and to die as soon as possible. Death seemed the only cheerful possibility in my existence, and my thoughts soon dwelt upon it altogether.
Among the guys my age, I was never last, or even near the bottom, in anything; but I was never first either. Whenever I trained for a race, I would somehow sprain my ankle on the day of the event. If I rowed with others, my oar would definitely break. If I went for a prize, some unexpected mishap would always stop me from winning at the last minute. Nothing I tried seemed to work out, and I earned a reputation for being unlucky, so my friends figured it was always safe to bet against me, regardless of how things looked. I became discouraged and indifferent about everything. I decided to give up on trying for any distinction at the University, telling myself that I couldn't possibly fail the ordinary degree exam. Then, the day before the exam started, I got sick; and when I finally got better, after a close call with death, I turned my back on Oxford and went alone to visit the old place where I was born, feeling weak and incredibly disillusioned and down. I was twenty-one, in control of myself and my fate; but the long string of little unlucky incidents had affected me so badly that I seriously considered shutting myself away from the world to live as a hermit and die as soon as possible. Death felt like the only bright spot in my life, and soon my thoughts were entirely focused on it.
I had never shown any wish to return to my own home since I had been taken away as a little boy, and no one had ever pressed me to do so. The place had been kept in order after a fashion, and did not seem to have suffered during the fifteen years or more of my absence. Nothing earthly could affect those old gray walls that had fought the elements for so many centuries. The garden was more wild than I remembered it; the marble causeways about the pools looked more yellow and damp than of old, and the whole place at first looked smaller. It was not until I had wandered about the house and grounds for many hours that I realized the huge size of the home where, I was to live in solitude. Then I began to delight in it, and my resolution to live alone grew stronger.
I had never felt the urge to go back to my home since I was taken away as a little boy, and no one ever pushed me to do so. The place had been kept up, more or less, and didn’t seem to have changed much during the fifteen years I was gone. Nothing earthly could harm those old gray walls that had withstood the elements for so many centuries. The garden was wilder than I remembered; the marble walkways around the pools looked yellower and damper than before, and at first, the whole place seemed smaller. It wasn’t until I spent hours wandering around the house and grounds that I realized just how big the home was where I would be living in solitude. Then I started to enjoy it, and my decision to live alone grew stronger.
The people had turned out to welcome me, of course, and I tried to recognize the changed faces of the old gardener and the old housekeeper, and to call them by name. My old nurse I knew at once. She had grown very gray since she heard the coffins fall in the nursery fifteen years before, but her strange eyes were the same, and the look in them woke all my old memories. She went over the house with me.
The people had come out to greet me, of course, and I tried to recognize the changed faces of the old gardener and the old housekeeper, attempting to call them by name. I recognized my old nurse immediately. She had turned very gray since the coffins fell in the nursery fifteen years ago, but her unusual eyes were the same, and the look in them brought back all my old memories. She walked through the house with me.
"And how is the Woman of the Water?" I asked, trying to laugh a little. "Does she still play in the moonlight?"
"And how is the Woman of the Water?" I asked, trying to chuckle a bit. "Does she still dance in the moonlight?"
"She is hungry," answered the Welshwoman, in a low voice.
"She's hungry," answered the Welshwoman, in a quiet voice.
"Hungry? Then we will feed her." I laughed. But old Judith turned very pale, and looked at me strangely.
"Hungry? Then we’ll feed her." I laughed. But old Judith turned very pale and looked at me oddly.
"Feed her? Ay—you will feed her well," she muttered, glancing behind her at the ancient housekeeper, who tottered after us with feeble steps through the halls and passages.
"Feed her? Yeah—you'll feed her well," she muttered, glancing back at the old housekeeper, who shuffled after us with shaky steps through the halls and passages.
I did not think much of her words. She had always talked oddly, as Welshwomen will, and though I was very melancholy I am sure I was not superstitious, and I was certainly not timid. Only, as in a far-off dream, I seemed to see her standing with the light in her hand and muttering, "The heavy one—all of lead," and then leading a little boy through the long corridors to see his father lying dead in a great easy chair before a smouldering fire. So we went over the house, and I chose the rooms where I would live; and the servants I had brought with me ordered and arranged everything, and I had no more trouble. I did not care what they did provided I was left in peace and was not expected to give directions; for I was more listless than ever, owing to the effects of my illness at college.
I didn’t think much of what she said. She had always spoken strangely, as Welsh women tend to do, and while I was quite sad, I wasn’t superstitious, and I definitely wasn’t afraid. It was just that, in a distant dream, I seemed to see her standing with a light in her hand, mumbling, "The heavy one—all of lead," and then leading a little boy through the long hallways to see his dad lying dead in a big easy chair in front of a smoldering fire. So we went through the house, and I picked the rooms where I wanted to stay; and the staff I had brought with me organized everything, so I had no more worries. I didn’t care what they did as long as I was left alone and didn’t have to give any instructions because I was feeling more lethargic than ever due to the aftermath of my illness at college.
I dined in solitary state, and the melancholy grandeur of the vast old dining-room pleased me. Then I went to the room I had selected for my study, and sat down in a deep chair, under a bright light, to think, or to let my thoughts meander through labyrinths of their own choosing, utterly indifferent to the course they might take.
I had dinner alone, and the sad beauty of the big old dining room made me happy. Then I went to the room I chose for my study and sat down in a comfy chair, under a bright light, to think, or to let my thoughts wander through their own twists and turns, completely unconcerned about where they might go.
The tall windows of the room opened to the level of the ground upon the terrace at the head of the garden. It was in the end of July, and everything was open, for the weather was warm. As I sat alone I heard the unceasing splash of the great fountains, and I fell to thinking of the Woman of the Water. I rose and went out into the still night, and sat down upon a seat on the terrace, between two gigantic Italian flower-pots. The air was deliciously soft and sweet with the smell of the flowers, and the garden was more congenial to me than the house. Sad people always like running water and the sound of it at night, though I cannot tell why. I sat and listened in the gloom, for it was dark below, and the pale moon had not yet climbed over the hills in front of me, though all the air above was light with her rising beams. Slowly the white halo in the eastern sky ascended in an arch above the wooded crests, making the outlines of the mountains more intensely black by contrast, as though the head of some great white saint were rising from behind a screen in a vast cathedral, throwing misty glories from below. I longed to see the moon herself, and I tried to reckon the seconds before she must appear. Then she sprang up quickly, and in a moment more hung round and perfect in the sky. I gazed at her, and then at the floating spray of the tall fountains, and down at the pools, where the waterlilies were rocking softly in their sleep on the velvet surface of the moonlit water. Just then a great swan floated out silently into the midst of the basin, and wreathed his long neck, catching the water in his broad bill, and scattering showers of diamonds around him.
The tall windows of the room opened directly onto the ground level of the terrace at the end of the garden. It was late July, and everything was wide open since the weather was warm. As I sat alone, I heard the constant splash of the large fountains, and I started thinking about the Woman of the Water. I got up and stepped out into the calm night, taking a seat on the terrace between two massive Italian flower pots. The air was pleasantly soft and sweet with the scent of the flowers, and I found the garden more welcoming than the house. Sad people tend to be drawn to running water and its nighttime sound, though I can't explain why. I sat and listened in the darkness, as it was shadowy below, and the pale moon hadn’t yet risen over the hills in front of me, though the air above was bright with her beams. Slowly, the white halo in the eastern sky arched above the treetops, making the outlines of the mountains appear even darker in contrast, as if the head of some great white saint was rising behind a screen in a vast cathedral, casting misty glories from below. I longed to see the moon herself, trying to count the seconds before she would appear. Then she sprang up quickly, and in a moment, she was perfectly round in the sky. I looked at her, then at the floating spray from the tall fountains, and down at the pools where the water lilies were gently rocking in their sleep on the velvet surface of the moonlit water. Just then, a large swan glided silently into the middle of the basin, arching his long neck, dipping his broad bill into the water, and scattering showers of diamonds around him.
Suddenly, as I gazed, something came between me and the light. I looked up instantly. Between me and the round disk of the moon rose a luminous face of a woman, with great strange eyes, and a woman's mouth, full and soft, but not smiling, hooded in black, staring at me as I sat still upon my bench. She was close to me—so close that I could have touched her with my hand. But I was transfixed and helpless. She stood still for a moment, but her expression did not change. Then she passed swiftly away, and my hair stood up on my head, while the cold breeze from her white dress was wafted to my temples as she moved. The moonlight, shining through the tossing spray of the fountain, made traceries of shadow on the gleaming folds of her garments. In an instant she was gone and I was alone.
Suddenly, as I looked, something came between me and the light. I glanced up right away. Between me and the round disk of the moon rose a glowing face of a woman, with large, unusual eyes, and a mouth that was full and soft, but not smiling, covered in black, staring at me as I sat still on my bench. She was so close that I could have reached out and touched her. But I was frozen and powerless. She stood still for a moment, but her expression didn’t change. Then she disappeared quickly, and I felt my hair stand up while the cold breeze from her white dress brushed against my temples as she moved. The moonlight, shining through the splashing water of the fountain, created patterns of shadow on the shimmering folds of her clothes. In an instant, she was gone and I was alone.
I was strangely shaken by the vision, and some time passed before I could rise to my feet, for I was still weak from my illness, and the sight I had seen would have startled any one. I did not reason with myself, for I was certain that I had looked on the unearthly, and no argument could have destroyed that belief. At last I got up and stood unsteadily, gazing in the direction in which I thought the face had gone; but there was nothing to be seen—nothing but the broad paths, the tall, dark evergreen hedges, the tossing water of the fountains and the smooth pool below. I fell back upon the seat and recalled the face I had seen. Strange to say, now that the first impression had passed, there was nothing startling in the recollection; on the contrary, I felt that I was fascinated by the face, and would give anything to see it again. I could retrace the beautiful straight features, the long dark eyes, and the wonderful mouth most exactly in my mind, and when I had reconstructed every detail from memory I knew that the whole was beautiful, and that I should love a woman with such a face.
I was oddly shaken by the vision, and it took me a while to stand up because I was still weak from my illness, and the sight I had seen would have startled anyone. I didn’t try to rationalize it, as I was sure I had witnessed something otherworldly, and no argument could change that belief. Eventually, I got up and stood unsteadily, looking in the direction where I thought the face had gone; but there was nothing to see—just the wide paths, the tall, dark evergreen hedges, the splashing water from the fountains, and the calm pool below. I sank back onto the seat and recalled the face I had seen. Strangely, now that the initial shock had faded, there was nothing frightening about the memory; instead, I found myself captivated by the face and would give anything to see it again. I could clearly picture the beautiful straight features, the long dark eyes, and the stunning mouth in my mind, and after reconstructing every detail from memory, I knew that the whole was beautiful, and I would love a woman with such a face.
"I wonder whether she is the Woman of the Water!" I said to myself. Then rising once more, I wandered down the garden, descending one short flight of steps after another from terrace to terrace by the edge of the marble basins, through the shadow and through the moonlight; and I crossed the water by the rustic bridge above the artificial grotto, and climbed slowly up again to the highest terrace by the other side. The air seemed sweeter, and I was very calm, so that I think I smiled to myself as I walked, as though a new happiness had come to me. The woman's face seemed always before me, and the thought of it gave me an unwonted thrill of pleasure, unlike anything I had ever felt before.
"I wonder if she is the Woman of the Water!" I thought to myself. Then, standing up again, I strolled through the garden, going down one short flight of steps after another from terrace to terrace by the edge of the marble pools, moving through the shadows and the moonlight. I crossed the water on the rustic bridge over the artificial grotto and slowly climbed back up to the highest terrace on the other side. The air felt sweeter, and I was very calm, so I think I smiled to myself as I walked, as if a new happiness had come over me. The woman's face stayed in my mind, and thinking about it gave me a thrilling pleasure I had never experienced before.
I turned as I reached the house, and looked back upon the scene. It had certainly changed in the short hour since I had come out, and my mood had changed with it. Just like my luck, I thought, to fall in love with a ghost! But in old times I would have sighed; and gone to bed more sad than ever, at such a melancholy conclusion. To-night I felt happy, almost for the first time in my life. The gloomy old study seemed cheerful when I went in. The old pictures on the walls smiled at me, and I sat down in my deep chair with a new and delightful sensation that I was not alone. The idea of having seen a ghost, and of feeling much the better for it, was so absurd that I laughed softly, as I took up one of the books I had brought with me and began to read.
I turned as I reached the house and looked back at the scene. It had definitely changed in the short hour since I’d come out, and my mood had changed with it. Just typical of my luck, I thought, to fall in love with a ghost! But in the past, I would have sighed and gone to bed feeling more sad than ever about such a gloomy conclusion. Tonight, though, I felt happy, almost for the first time in my life. The gloomy old study felt cheerful when I walked in. The old pictures on the walls seemed to smile at me, and I sat down in my big chair with a new and delightful feeling that I wasn’t alone. The idea of having seen a ghost, and feeling so much better for it, was so ridiculous that I laughed softly as I picked up one of the books I had brought with me and started to read.
That impression did not wear off. I slept peacefully, and in the morning I threw open my windows to the summer air and looked down at the garden, at the stretches of green and at the colored flower-beds, at the circling swallows and at the bright water.
That feeling didn't fade. I slept soundly, and in the morning, I opened my windows to the summer breeze and looked down at the garden, at the green lawns and the colorful flower beds, at the swooping swallows and the sparkling water.
"A man might make a paradise of this place," I exclaimed. "A man and a woman together!"
"A man could turn this place into paradise," I exclaimed. "A man and a woman together!"
From that day the old Castle no longer seemed gloomy, and I think I ceased to be sad; for some time, too, I began to take an interest in the place, and to try and make it more alive. I avoided my old Welsh nurse, lest she should damp my humor with some dismal prophecy, and recall my old self by bringing back memories of my dismal childhood. But what I thought of most was the ghostly figure I had seen in the garden that first night after my arrival. I went out every evening and wandered through the walks and paths; but, try as I might, I did not see my vision again. At last, after many days, the memory grew more faint, and my old moody nature gradually overcame the temporary sense of lightness I had experienced. The summer turned to autumn, and I grew restless. It began to rain. The dampness pervaded the gardens, and the outer halls smelled musty, like tombs; the gray sky oppressed me intolerably. I left the place as it was and went abroad, determined to try anything which might possibly make a second break in the monotonous melancholy from which I suffered.
From that day, the old Castle no longer felt gloomy, and I think I stopped being sad; for a while, I even started to take an interest in the place and tried to make it feel more lively. I avoided my old Welsh nurse, so she wouldn’t bring me down with some gloomy prediction and remind me of my past by bringing back memories of my miserable childhood. But what I thought about the most was the ghostly figure I had seen in the garden that first night after I arrived. I went out every evening and roamed through the paths, but no matter how hard I tried, I didn’t see my vision again. Eventually, after many days, the memory faded, and my old moody self gradually overshadowed the brief sense of lightness I had felt. Summer turned to autumn, and I became restless. It started to rain. The dampness spread through the gardens, and the outer halls smelled musty, like tombs; the gray sky weighed down on me unbearably. I left the place as it was and went abroad, determined to try anything that might break the monotonous sadness I was stuck in.
II
Most people would be struck by the utter insignificance of the small events which, after the death of my parents, influenced my life and made me unhappy. The gruesome forebodings of a Welsh nurse, which chanced to be realized by an odd coincidence of events, should not seem enough to change the nature of a child and to direct the bent of his character in after years. The little disappointments of schoolboy life, and the somewhat less childish ones of an uneventful and undistinguished academic career, should not have sufficed to turn me out at one-and-twenty-years of age a melancholic, listless idler. Some weakness of my own character may have contributed to the result, but in a greater degree it was due to my having a reputation for bad luck. However, I will not try to analyze the causes of my state, for I should satisfy nobody, least of all myself. Still less will I attempt to explain why I felt a temporary revival of my spirits after my adventure in the garden. It is certain that I was in love with the face I had seen, and that I longed to see it again; that I gave up all hope of a second visitation, grew more sad than ever, packed up my traps, and finally went abroad. But in my dreams I went back to my home, and it always appeared to me sunny and bright, as it had looked on that summer's morning after I had seen the woman by the fountain.
Most people would be shocked by how trivial the small events that unfolded after my parents died were, yet they shaped my life and brought me unhappiness. The eerie predictions of a Welsh nurse, which happened to come true through a strange coincidence, shouldn't have been enough to alter a child's nature or influence who I would become later. The little setbacks of schoolboy life, along with the somewhat more mature disappointments of a dull and unremarkable academic journey, shouldn’t have led me, at twenty-one, to become a gloomy, apathetic drifter. Some weakness in my own character might have played a part, but more significantly, it was my reputation for having bad luck that overshadowed me. However, I won’t analyze what caused my state, as it would only satisfy no one, least of all myself. Even less will I try to explain why I felt a brief uplift in my spirits after my encounter in the garden. What’s clear is that I was in love with the face I had seen and wished to see it again; when I lost hope for another visit, I became even sadder, packed my things, and eventually went abroad. But in my dreams, I returned to my home, which always seemed sunny and bright, just as it had that summer morning after I spotted the woman by the fountain.
I went to Paris. I went farther, and wandered about Germany. I tried to amuse myself, and I failed miserably. With the aimless whims of an idle and useless man come all sorts of suggestions for good resolutions. One day I made up my mind that I would go and bury myself in a German university for a time, and live simply like a poor student. I started with the intention of going to Leipzig, determined to stay there until some event should direct my life or change my humor, or make an end of me altogether. The express train stopped at some station of which I did not know the name. It was dusk on a winter's afternoon, and I peered through the thick glass from my seat. Suddenly another train came gliding in from the opposite direction, and stopped alongside of ours. I looked at the carriage which chanced to be abreast of mine, and idly read the black letters painted on a white board swinging from the brass handrail: Berlin—Cologne—Paris. Then I looked up at the window above. I started violently, and the cold perspiration broke out upon my forehead. In the dim light, not six feet from where I sat, I saw the face of a woman, the face I loved, the straight, fine features, the strange eyes, the wonderful mouth, the pale skin. Her head-dress was a dark veil which seemed to be tied about her head and passed over the shoulders under her chin. As I threw down the window and knelt on the cushioned seat, leaning far out to get a better view, a long whistle screamed through the station, followed by a quick series of dull, clanking sounds; then there was a slight jerk, and my train moved on. Luckily the window was narrow, being the one over the seat, beside the door, or I believe I would have jumped out of it then and there. In an instant the speed increased, and I was being carried swiftly away in the opposite direction from the thing I loved.
I went to Paris. Then I traveled further and wandered around Germany. I tried to find some fun, and I totally failed. With the aimless whims of an idle and useless person come all kinds of ideas for good resolutions. One day, I decided I would go and immerse myself in a German university for a while, living simply like a broke student. I intended to go to Leipzig, determined to stay there until something changed my life, my mood, or brought it all to an end. The express train stopped at a station whose name I didn't know. It was dusk on a winter afternoon, and I peered through the thick glass from my seat. Suddenly, another train glided in from the opposite direction and stopped next to us. I glanced at the carriage next to mine and lazily read the black letters on a white board swinging from the brass handrail: Berlin—Cologne—Paris. I then looked up at the window above. I started violently, and cold sweat broke out on my forehead. In the dim light, no more than six feet away from where I sat, I saw the face of a woman I loved—her straight, fine features, her unique eyes, her amazing mouth, her pale skin. She was wearing a dark veil tied around her head and flowing over her shoulders under her chin. As I threw down the window and knelt on the cushioned seat, leaning out for a better view, a long whistle screeched through the station, followed by a series of dull clanking sounds; then there was a slight jerk, and my train started moving. Thankfully, the window was narrow, being the one above the seat by the door, or I think I would have jumped out right then. In an instant, the speed increased, and I was being carried swiftly away from the one I loved.
For a quarter of an hour I lay back in my place, stunned by the suddenness of the apparition. At last one of the two other passengers, a large and gorgeous captain of the White Konigsberg Cuirassiers, civilly but firmly suggested that I might shut my window, as the evening was cold. I did so, with an apology, and relapsed into silence. The train ran swiftly on for a long time, and it was already beginning to slacken speed before entering another station, when I roused myself and made a sudden resolution. As the carriage stopped before the brilliantly lighted platform, I seized my belongings, saluted my fellow-passengers, and got out, determined to take the first express back to Paris.
For fifteen minutes, I lay back in my seat, shocked by the sudden appearance. Finally, one of the other passengers, a big and striking captain of the White Konigsberg Cuirassiers, politely but firmly suggested that I close my window since the evening was chilly. I did so, apologizing, and fell silent again. The train sped along for a long time, and it was already starting to slow down before pulling into another station when I got myself together and made a quick decision. As the train stopped in front of the brightly lit platform, I grabbed my things, nodded to my fellow passengers, and stepped out, resolved to take the next express back to Paris.
This time the circumstances of the vision had been so natural that it did not strike me that there was anything unreal about the face, or about the woman to whom it belonged. I did not try to explain to myself how the face, and the woman, could be travelling by a fast train from Berlin to Paris on a winter's afternoon, when both were in my mind indelibly associated with the moonlight and the fountains in my own English home. I certainly would not have admitted that I had been mistaken in the dusk, attributing to what I had seen a resemblance to my former vision which did not really exist. There was not the slightest doubt in my mind, and I was positively sure that I had again seen the face I loved. I did not hesitate, and in a few hours I was on my way back to Paris. I could not help reflecting on my ill luck. Wandering as I had been for many months, it might as easily have chanced that I should be travelling in the same train with that woman, instead of going the other way. But my luck was destined to turn for a time.
This time, the situation of the vision felt so natural that I didn’t think there was anything off about the face or the woman it belonged to. I didn’t try to figure out how the face and the woman could be on a fast train from Berlin to Paris on a winter afternoon, when both were so strongly tied in my mind to the moonlight and fountains in my own English home. I definitely wouldn’t have admitted that I was mistaken in the fading light, thinking that what I saw resembled my previous vision when it really didn’t. There was no doubt in my mind; I was absolutely sure I had seen the face I loved again. I didn’t hesitate, and within a few hours, I was on my way back to Paris. I couldn’t help but think about my bad luck. After wandering for months, it could have easily happened that I was on the same train as that woman instead of going the other way. But my luck was about to change for a while.
I searched Paris for several days. I dined at the principal hotels; I went to the theatres; I rode in the Bois de Boulogne in the morning, and picked up an acquaintance, whom I forced to drive with me in the afternoon. I went to mass at the Madeleine, and I attended the services at the English Church. I hung about the Louvre and Notre Dame. I went to Versailles. I spent hours in parading the Rue de Rivoli, in the neighborhood of Meurice's corner, where foreigners pass and repass from morning till night. At last I received an invitation to a reception at the English Embassy. I went, and I found what I had sought so long.
I searched Paris for several days. I ate at the main hotels; I went to the theaters; I took a ride in the Bois de Boulogne in the morning and picked up someone I knew, who I made drive with me in the afternoon. I went to mass at the Madeleine and attended services at the English Church. I hung around the Louvre and Notre Dame. I went to Versailles. I spent hours strolling along the Rue de Rivoli, near the corner of Meurice's, where tourists come and go from morning till night. Finally, I got an invitation to a reception at the English Embassy. I went, and I found what I had searched for all this time.
There she was, sitting by an old lady in gray satin and diamonds, who had a wrinkled but kindly face and keen gray eyes that seemed to take in everything they saw, with very little inclination to give much in return. But I did not notice the chaperon. I saw only the face that had haunted me for months, and in the excitement of the moment I walked quickly towards the pair, forgetting such a trifle as the necessity for an introduction.
There she was, sitting next to an older woman in gray satin and diamonds, who had a wrinkled but friendly face and sharp gray eyes that seemed to absorb everything they looked at, showing very little willingness to share much in return. But I didn’t pay attention to the chaperone. I only saw the face that had been on my mind for months, and in that moment of excitement, I walked quickly toward them, completely forgetting about the need for an introduction.
She was far more beautiful than I had thought, but I never doubted that it was she herself and no other. Vision or no vision before, this was the reality, and I knew it. Twice her hair had been covered, now at last I saw it, and the added beauty of its magnificence glorified the whole woman. It was rich hair, fine and abundant, golden, with deep ruddy tints in it like red bronze spun fine. There was no ornament in it, not a rose, not a thread of gold, and I felt that it needed nothing to enhance its splendor; nothing but her pale face, her dark strange eyes, and her heavy eyebrows. I could see that she was slender too, but strong withal, as she sat there quietly gazing at the moving scene in the midst of the brilliant lights and the hum of perpetual conversation.
She was much more beautiful than I had expected, but I never doubted it was her and no one else. Whether I had a vision before or not, this was the reality, and I recognized it. Twice her hair had been covered, but now I finally saw it, and the added beauty of its magnificence elevated the whole woman. It was rich hair, fine and plentiful, golden with deep reddish tones like finely spun red bronze. There were no ornaments in it, no roses, no threads of gold, and I felt it didn't need anything to enhance its beauty; just her pale face, her dark, mysterious eyes, and her thick eyebrows. I could also see that she was slender but strong as she sat there quietly watching the moving scene amid the bright lights and the buzz of continuous conversation.
I recollected the detail of introduction in time, and turned aside to look for my host. I found him at last. I begged him to present me to the two ladies, pointing them out to him at the same time.
I remembered the details of the introduction just in time and turned to look for my host. I finally found him. I asked him to introduce me to the two ladies, pointing them out to him at the same time.
"Yes—uh—by all means—uh," replied his Excellency with a pleasant smile. He evidently had no idea of my name, which was not to be wondered at.
"Yes—uh—of course—uh," replied his Excellency with a friendly smile. He clearly had no idea what my name was, which wasn't surprising.
"I am Lord Cairngorm," I observed.
"I am Lord Cairngorm," I said.
"Oh—by all means," answered the Ambassador with the same hospitable smile. "Yes—uh—the fact is, I must try and find out who they are; such lots of people, you know."
"Oh—of course," replied the Ambassador with the same friendly smile. "Yes—uh—the truth is, I need to figure out who they are; there are just so many people, you know."
"Oh, if you will present me, I will try and find out for you," said I, laughing.
"Oh, if you introduce me, I'll try to find out for you," I said, laughing.
"Ah, yes—so kind of you—come along," said my host. We threaded the crowd, and in a few minutes we stood before the two ladies.
"Ah, yes—so nice of you—come on," said my host. We wove through the crowd, and in a few minutes, we were in front of the two ladies.
"'Lowmintrduce L'd Cairngorm," he said; then, adding quickly to me, "Come and dine to-morrow, won't you?" he glided away with his pleasant smile and disappeared in the crowd.
"'Lowmintrduce L'd Cairngorm," he said; then, quickly adding to me, "Come and have dinner tomorrow, okay?" He glided away with his friendly smile and vanished into the crowd.
I sat down beside the beautiful girl, conscious that the eyes of the duenna were upon me.
I sat down next to the beautiful girl, aware that the duenna was watching me.
"I think we have been very near meeting before," I remarked, by way of opening the conversation.
"I think we’ve come really close to meeting before," I said to start the conversation.
My companion turned her eyes full upon me with an air of inquiry. She evidently did not recall my face, if she had ever seen me.
My companion looked directly at me, clearly curious. She obviously didn’t recognize my face, if she had seen me at all.
"Really—I cannot remember," she observed, in a low and musical voice. "When?"
"Honestly—I can't remember," she said, in a soft and melodic voice. "When?"
"In the first place, you came down from Berlin by the express ten days ago. I was going the other way, and our carriages stopped opposite each other. I saw you at the window."
"In the first place, you came down from Berlin on the express train ten days ago. I was heading in the other direction, and our carriages stopped across from each other. I saw you at the window."
"Yes—we came that way, but I do not remember—" She hesitated.
"Yeah—we took that route, but I don’t remember—" She paused.
"Secondly," I continued, "I was sitting alone in my garden last summer—near the end of July—do you remember? You must have wandered in there through the park; you came up to the house and looked at me—"
"Secondly," I continued, "I was sitting alone in my garden last summer—around the end of July—do you remember? You must have wandered in through the park; you came up to the house and looked at me—"
"Was that you?" she asked, in evident surprise. Then she broke into a laugh. "I told everybody I had seen a ghost; there had never been any Cairngorms in the place since the memory of man. We left the next day, and never heard that you had come there; indeed, I did not know the castle belonged to you."
"Was that you?" she asked, clearly surprised. Then she burst into laughter. "I told everyone I saw a ghost; there hadn’t been any Cairngorms in that area for as long as anyone can remember. We left the next day and never heard that you had been there; in fact, I didn’t even know the castle was yours."
"Where were you staying?" I asked
"Where were you staying?" I asked.
"Where? Why, with my aunt, where I always stay. She is your neighbor, since it is you."
"Where? Well, I'm with my aunt, where I always stay. She's your neighbor, since it is you."
"I—beg your pardon—but then—is your aunt Lady Bluebell? I did not quite catch—"
"I—excuse me—but is your aunt Lady Bluebell? I didn't quite catch—"
"Don't be afraid. She is amazingly deaf. Yes. She is the relict of my beloved uncle, the sixteenth or seventeenth Baron Bluebell—I forget exactly how many of them there have been. And I—do you know who I am?" She laughed, well knowing that I did not.
"Don't worry. She can't hear a thing. Yes. She's the widow of my dear uncle, the sixteenth or seventeenth Baron Bluebell—I can't remember exactly how many there have been. And I—do you know who I am?" She laughed, fully aware that I didn't.
"No," I answered frankly. "I have not the least idea. I asked to be introduced because I recognized you. Perhaps—perhaps you are a Miss Bluebell?"
"No," I replied honestly. "I have no idea at all. I asked to be introduced because I recognized you. Maybe—maybe you are a Miss Bluebell?"
"Considering that you are a neighbor, I will tell you who I am," she answered. "No; I am of the tribe of Bluebells, but my name is Lammas, and I have been given to understand that I was christened Margaret. Being a floral family, they call me Daisy. A dreadful American man once told me that my aunt was a Bluebell and that I was a Harebell—with two l's and an e—because my hair is so thick. I warn you, so that you may avoid making such a bad pun."
"Since you’re my neighbor, I’ll introduce myself," she replied. "No; I’m from the Bluebells tribe, but my name is Lammas, and I’ve been told that I was baptized Margaret. Since I come from a floral family, they call me Daisy. An awful American guy once told me that my aunt was a Bluebell and that I was a Harebell—with two l's and an e—because my hair is so thick. I just wanted to warn you so you won’t make such a terrible pun."
"Do I look like a man who makes puns?" I asked, being very conscious of my melancholy face and sad looks.
"Do I look like someone who makes puns?" I asked, very aware of my gloomy expression and somber appearance.
Miss Lammas eyed me critically.
Miss Lammas assessed me critically.
"No; you have a mournful temperament. I think I can trust you," she answered. "Do you think you could communicate to my aunt the fact that you are a Cairngorm and a neighbor? I am sure she would like to know."
"No; you have a sad temperament. I think I can trust you," she replied. "Do you think you could tell my aunt that you are a Cairngorm and a neighbor? I'm sure she would want to know."
I leaned towards the old lady, inflating my lungs for a yell. But Miss Lammas stopped me.
I leaned toward the old woman, taking a deep breath to shout. But Miss Lammas held me back.
"That is not of the slightest use," she remarked. "You can write it on a bit of paper. She is utterly deaf."
"That's not helpful at all," she said. "You can just write it down on a piece of paper. She can't hear a thing."
"I have a pencil," I answered; "but I have no paper. Would my cuff do, do you think?"
"I have a pencil," I replied; "but I don't have any paper. Do you think my cuff would work?"
"Oh, yes!" replied Miss Lammas, with alacrity; "men often do that."
"Oh, definitely!" replied Miss Lammas eagerly; "guys often do that."
I wrote on my cuff: "Miss Lammas wishes me to explain that I am your neighbor, Cairngorm." Then I held out my arm before the old lady's nose. She seemed perfectly accustomed to the proceeding, put up her glasses, read the words, smiled, nodded, and addressed me in the unearthly voice peculiar to people who hear nothing.
I wrote on my sleeve: "Miss Lammas wants me to tell you that I'm your neighbor, Cairngorm." Then I extended my arm in front of the old lady's face. She appeared completely unfazed by this, adjusted her glasses, read the words, smiled, nodded, and spoke to me in the strange voice typical of people who are hard of hearing.
"I knew your grandfather very well," she said. Then she smiled and nodded to me again, and to her niece, and relapsed into silence.
"I knew your grandfather really well," she said. Then she smiled and nodded at me again, and at her niece, and went back to being quiet.
"It is all right," remarked Miss Lammas. "Aunt Bluebell knows she is deaf, and does not say much, like the parrot. You see, she knew your grandfather. How odd that we should be neighbors! Why have we never met before?"
"It’s fine," said Miss Lammas. "Aunt Bluebell knows she’s deaf, so she doesn’t say much, just like the parrot. You see, she knew your grandfather. How strange that we’re neighbors! Why haven’t we met before?"
"If you had told me you knew my grandfather when you appeared in the garden, I should not have been in the least surprised," I answered rather irrelevantly. "I really thought you were the ghost of the old fountain. How in the world did you come there at that hour?"
"If you had told me you knew my grandfather when you showed up in the garden, I wouldn’t have been surprised at all," I replied somewhat off-topic. "I honestly thought you were the ghost of the old fountain. How on earth did you get here at that hour?"
"We were a large party and we went out for a walk. Then we thought we should like to see what your park was like in the moonlight, and so we trespassed. I got separated from the rest, and came upon you by accident, just as I was admiring the extremely ghostly look of your house, and wondering whether anybody would ever come and live there again. It looks like the castle of Macbeth, or a scene from the opera. Do you know anybody here?"
"We were a big group and decided to go for a walk. Then we thought it would be nice to see what your park looked like in the moonlight, so we ended up trespassing. I got separated from the others and stumbled upon you by chance just as I was admiring how ghostly your house looked, wondering if anyone would ever move back in. It resembles Macbeth's castle or a scene from an opera. Do you know anyone here?"
"Hardly a soul! Do you?"
"Hardly anyone! Do you?"
"No. Aunt Bluebell said it was our duty to come. It is easy for her to go out; she does not bear the burden of the conversation."
"No. Aunt Bluebell said we had to come. It's easy for her to go out; she doesn't have to deal with the conversation."
"I am sorry you find it a burden," said I. "Shall I go away?"
"I’m sorry you see it as a burden," I said. "Should I leave?"
Miss Lammas looked at me with a sudden gravity in her beautiful eyes, and there was a sort of hesitation about the lines of her full, soft mouth.
Miss Lammas looked at me with a sudden seriousness in her beautiful eyes, and there was a kind of hesitation in the curves of her full, soft mouth.
"No," she said at last, quite simply, "don't go away. We may like each other, if you stay a little longer—and we ought to, because we are neighbors in the country."
"No," she finally said, quite simply, "don't leave. We might end up liking each other if you stick around a bit longer—and we should, since we’re neighbors in the countryside."
I suppose I ought to have thought Miss Lammas a very odd girl. There is, indeed, a sort of freemasonry between people who discover that they live near each other and that they ought to have known each other before. But there was a sort of unexpected frankness and simplicity in the girl's amusing manner which would have struck any one else as being singular, to say the least of it. To me, however, it all seemed natural enough. I had dreamed of her face too long not to be utterly happy when I met her at last and could talk to her as much as I pleased. To me, the man of ill luck in everything, the whole meeting seemed too good to be true. I felt again that strange sensation of lightness which I had experienced after I had seen her face in the garden. The great rooms seemed brighter, life seemed worth living; my sluggish, melancholy blood ran faster, and filled me with a new sense of strength. I said to myself that without this woman I was but an imperfect being, but that with her I could accomplish everything to which I should set my hand. Like the great Doctor, when he thought he had cheated Mephistopheles at last, I could have cried aloud to the fleeting moment, Verweile dock, du bist so schön!
I guess I should have thought Miss Lammas was a pretty strange girl. There’s definitely a kind of connection between people who find out they live nearby and realize they should have known each other before. But there was an unexpected openness and simplicity in the girl’s funny way that would have seemed unusual to anyone else, to say the least. To me, though, it all felt completely natural. I had imagined her face for so long that I couldn’t help but feel totally happy when I finally met her and could talk to her as much as I wanted. For me, the guy who’s unlucky in everything, the whole encounter felt too good to be real. I felt that strange lightness again that I experienced after seeing her face in the garden. The big rooms seemed brighter, life felt worth living; my sluggish, sad blood was pumping faster, filling me with a new sense of strength. I told myself that without this woman, I was just an incomplete person, but with her, I could achieve anything I set my mind to. Like the great Doctor, when he thought he had finally outsmarted Mephistopheles, I could have cried out to the fleeting moment, Verweile dock, du bist so schön!
"Are you always gay?" I asked, suddenly. "How happy you must be!"
"Are you always happy?" I asked, suddenly. "You must feel so good!"
"The days would sometimes seem very long if I were gloomy," she answered, thoughtfully. "Yes, I think I find life very pleasant, and I tell it so."
"The days can feel really long when I’m feeling down," she replied, thoughtfully. "Yeah, I actually find life pretty enjoyable, and I let it know."
"How can you 'tell life' anything?" I inquired. "If I could catch my life and talk to it, I would abuse it prodigiously, I assure you."
"How can you 'talk to life' about anything?" I asked. "If I could grab hold of my life and have a conversation with it, I would sure give it a hard time, I promise you."
"I dare say. You have a melancholy temper. You ought to live out-of-doors, dig potatoes; make hay, shoot, hunt, tumble into ditches, and come home muddy and hungry for dinner. It would be much better for you than moping in your rook tower and hating everything."
"I have to say, you have quite a gloomy disposition. You should spend more time outside, digging potatoes, making hay, shooting, hunting, falling into ditches, and coming home muddy and hungry for dinner. It would be a lot better for you than moping in your tower and hating everything."
"It is rather lonely down there," I murmured, apologetically, feeling that Miss Lammas was quite right.
"It feels pretty lonely down there," I said softly, feeling that Miss Lammas was completely right.
"Then marry, and quarrel with your wife," she laughed. "Anything is better than being alone."
"Then get married and fight with your wife," she laughed. "Anything is better than being alone."
"I am a very peaceable person. I never quarrel with anybody. You can try it. You will find it quite impossible."
"I’m a really easygoing person. I never argue with anyone. Go ahead and try it. You’ll see it’s completely impossible."
"Will you let me try?" she asked, still smiling.
"Can I give it a shot?" she asked, still smiling.
"By all means—especially if it is to be only a preliminary canter," I answered, rashly.
"Of course—especially if it's just a quick warm-up," I replied, impulsively.
"What do you mean?" she inquired, turning quickly upon me.
"What do you mean?" she asked, turning quickly to face me.
"Oh—nothing. You might try my paces with a view to quarrelling in the future. I cannot imagine how you are going to do it. You will have to resort to immediate and direct abuse."
"Oh—nothing. You could try pushing my buttons with the idea of having a fight in the future. I can't see how you're going to manage that. You'll need to go straight to personal attacks."
"No. I will only say that if you do not like your life, it is your own fault. How can a man of your age talk of being melancholy, or of the hollowness of existence? Are you consumptive? Are you subject to hereditary insanity? Are you deaf, like Aunt Bluebell? Are you poor, like—lots of people? Have you been crossed in love? Have you lost the world for a woman, or any particular woman for the sake of the world? Are you feeble-minded, a cripple, an outcast? Are you—repulsively ugly?" She laughed again. "Is there any reason in the world why you should not enjoy all you have got in life?"
"No. I just want to say that if you're not happy with your life, it's your own fault. How can someone your age talk about feeling down or the emptiness of life? Are you sick? Do you have a family history of mental illness? Are you deaf, like Aunt Bluebell? Are you broke, like a lot of people? Have you been hurt in love? Have you lost everything for a woman, or given up a woman for everything? Are you slow-witted, disabled, or an outcast? Are you—really unattractive?" She laughed again. "Is there any good reason why you shouldn't enjoy everything you have in life?"
"No. There is no reason whatever, except that I am dreadfully unlucky, especially in small things."
"No. There's no reason at all, except that I'm really unlucky, especially with little things."
"Then try big things, just for a change," suggested Miss Lammas. "Try and get married, for instance, and see how it turns out."
"Then go for big things, just to mix things up," suggested Miss Lammas. "Try getting married, for example, and see how it goes."
"If it turned out badly it would be rather serious."
"If it went badly, it would be quite serious."
"Not half so serious as it is to abuse everything unreasonably. If abuse is your particular talent, abuse something that ought to be abused. Abuse the Conservatives—or the Liberals—it does not matter which, since they are always abusing each other. Make yourself felt by other people. You will like it, if they don't. It will make a man of you. Fill your mouth with pebbles, and howl at the sea, if you cannot do anything else. It did Demosthenes no end of good, you know. You will have the satisfaction of imitating a great man."
"Not nearly as serious as it is to unfairly criticize everything. If being critical is your talent, then go ahead and criticize something that actually deserves it. Go after the Conservatives or the Liberals—either one is fine since they’re always attacking each other. Make your presence known to others. You’ll enjoy it, even if they don’t. It will help you grow as a person. Stuff your mouth with pebbles and yell at the ocean if you can’t think of anything else to do. It helped Demosthenes a lot, you know. You’ll get the satisfaction of emulating a great man."
"Really, Miss Lammas, I think the list of innocent exercises you propose—"
"Honestly, Miss Lammas, I think the list of harmless activities you suggest—"
"Very well—if you don't care for that sort of thing, care for some other sort of thing. Care for something, or hate something. Don't be idle. Life is short, and though art may be long, plenty of noise answers nearly as well."
"Alright—if you don't like that kind of thing, try something else. Care about something, or hate something. Don’t be lazy. Life is short, and while art can take time, a lot of noise works just as well."
"I do care for something—I mean, somebody," I said.
"I care about something—I mean, someone," I said.
"A woman? Then marry her. Don't hesitate."
"A woman? Then marry her. Don't think twice."
"I do not know whether she would marry me," I replied. "I have never asked her."
"I don't know if she would marry me," I replied. "I've never asked her."
"Then ask her at once," answered Miss Lammas. "I shall die happy if I feel I have persuaded a melancholy fellow-creature to rouse himself to action. Ask her, by all means, and see what she says. If she does not accept you at once, she may take you the next time. Meanwhile, you will have entered for the race. If you lose, there are the 'All-aged Trial Stakes,' and the 'Consolation Race.'"
"Then just ask her right away," replied Miss Lammas. "I'll die happy knowing I've encouraged a sad fellow being to take action. Go ahead and ask her, and see what her response is. If she doesn’t agree right away, she might change her mind next time. In the meantime, you’ll have put yourself in the running. If you don’t win, there are the 'All-aged Trial Stakes' and the 'Consolation Race.'"
"And plenty of selling races into the bargain. Shall I take you at your word, Miss Lammas?"
"And there's a lot of selling to be had as well. Should I take your word for it, Miss Lammas?"
"I hope you will," she answered.
"I hope you will," she replied.
"Since you yourself advise me, I will. Miss Lammas, will you do me the honor to marry me?"
"Since you're the one giving me this advice, I will. Miss Lammas, will you do me the honor of marrying me?"
For the first time in my life the blood rushed to my head and my sight swam. I cannot tell why I said it. It would be useless to try to explain the extraordinary fascination the girl exercised over me, or the still more extraordinary feeling of intimacy with her which had grown in me during that half-hour. Lonely, sad, unlucky as I had been all my life, I was certainly not timid, nor even shy. But to propose to marry a woman after half an hour's acquaintance was a piece of madness of which I never believed myself capable, and of which I should never be capable again, could I be placed in the same situation. It was as though my whole being had been changed in a moment by magic—by the white magic of her nature brought into contact with mine. The blood sank back to my heart, and a moment later I found myself staring at her with anxious eyes. To my amazement she was as calm as ever, but her beautiful mouth smiled, and there was a mischievous light in her dark-brown eyes.
For the first time in my life, my heart raced and my vision blurred. I can’t explain why I said it. Trying to convey the incredible pull this girl had on me, or the even more extraordinary sense of closeness I felt with her over the past half-hour, would be pointless. Despite being lonely, sad, and unfortunate throughout my life, I wasn’t timid or shy. But suggesting marriage to a woman I had only known for half an hour felt like a level of madness I didn’t think I could ever reach again, even if I found myself in the same situation. It was as if my entire being had been transformed in an instant by magic—the enchanting magic of her nature meeting mine. My heart rate returned to normal, and moments later, I was staring at her with worried eyes. To my surprise, she appeared calm as always, but her beautiful mouth was smiling, and there was a playful gleam in her dark-brown eyes.
"Fairly caught," she answered. "For an individual who pretends to be listless and sad you are not lacking in humor. I had really not the least idea what you were going to say. Wouldn't it be singularly awkward for you if I had said 'Yes'? I never saw anybody begin to practise so sharply what was preached to him—with so very little loss of time!"
"Fairly caught," she replied. "For someone who acts so bored and gloomy, you definitely have a sense of humor. I honestly had no idea what you were going to say. Wouldn't it be really awkward for you if I had just said 'Yes'? I've never seen anyone so quickly put into practice what they preach—without wasting any time!"
"You probably never met a man who had dreamed of you for seven months before being introduced."
"You probably never met a guy who dreamed about you for seven months before actually meeting you."
"No, I never did," she answered gaily. "It smacks of the romantic. Perhaps you are a romantic character, after all. I should think you were if I believed you. Very well; you have taken my advice, entered for a Stranger's Race and lost it. Try the All-aged Trial Stakes. You have another cuff, and a pencil. Propose to Aunt Bluebell; she would dance with astonishment, and she might recover her hearing."
"No, I never did," she replied cheerfully. "It has a romantic feel to it. Maybe you really are a romantic type after all. I would think so if I believed you. Fine; you've followed my advice, entered for a Stranger's Race, and lost. Try the All-aged Trial Stakes next. You've got another chance and a pencil. Ask Aunt Bluebell; she would be shocked and might even get her hearing back."
III
That was how I first asked Margaret Lammas to be my wife, and I will agree with any one who says I behaved very foolishly. But I have not repented of it, and I never shall. I have long ago understood that I was out of my mind that evening, but I think my temporary insanity on that occasion has had the effect of making me a saner man ever since. Her manner turned my head, for it was so different from what I had expected. To hear this lovely creature, who, in my imagination, was a heroine of romance, if not of tragedy, talking familiarly and laughing readily was more than my equanimity could bear, and I lost my head as well as my heart. But when I went back to England in the spring, I went to make certain arrangements at the Castle—certain changes and improvements which would be absolutely necessary. I had won the race for which I had entered myself so rashly, and we were to be married in June.
That’s how I first asked Margaret Lammas to marry me, and I’ll agree with anyone who says I acted really foolishly. But I don’t regret it, and I never will. I realized long ago that I was out of my mind that evening, but I think that moment of madness has actually made me a more sensible man ever since. Her demeanor completely surprised me; it was so different from what I had expected. Hearing this beautiful woman, who I imagined to be a romantic heroine, if not a tragic one, chatting easily and laughing was more than I could handle, and I lost both my composure and my heart. But when I returned to England in the spring, I went to make some arrangements at the Castle—some changes and improvements that were absolutely necessary. I had won the race I had entered so recklessly, and we were set to get married in June.
Whether the change was due to the orders I had left with the gardener and the rest of the servants, or to my own state of mind, I cannot tell. At all events, the old place did not look the same to me when I opened my window on the morning after my arrival. There were the gray walls below me and the gray turrets flanking the huge building; there were the fountains, the marble causeways, the smooth basins, the tall box hedges, the water-lilies, and the swans, just as of old. But there was something else there, too—something in the air, in the water, and in the greenness that I did not recognize—a light over everything by which everything was transfigured. The clock in the tower struck seven, and the strokes of the ancient bell sounded like a wedding chime. The air sang with the thrilling treble of the song-birds, with the silvery music of the plashing water and the softer harmony of the leaves stirred by the fresh morning wind. There was a smell of new-mown hay from the distant meadows, and of blooming roses from the beds below, wafted up together to my window. I stood in the pure sunshine and drank the air and all the sounds and the odors that were in it; and I looked down at my garden and said: "It is Paradise, after all." I think the men of old were right when they called heaven a garden, and Eden a garden inhabited by one man and one woman, the Earthly Paradise.
Whether the change was because of the instructions I had left with the gardener and the other staff, or because of my own mindset, I can't say. In any case, the old place didn’t feel the same to me when I opened my window the morning after I arrived. There were the gray walls below and the gray turrets surrounding the grand building; there were the fountains, the marble walkways, the calm ponds, the tall box hedges, the water lilies, and the swans, just like before. But there was something else—something in the air, in the water, and in the greenery that felt unfamiliar—a light that transformed everything. The clock in the tower struck seven, and the chimes of the old bell sounded like a wedding celebration. The air was alive with the thrilling notes of songbirds, the shimmering music of splashing water, and the gentle rustle of leaves stirred by the fresh morning breeze. There was the scent of freshly cut hay from the distant fields and blooming roses from the flowerbeds below, drifting up to my window. I stood in the bright sunshine, soaking in the air, the sounds, and the fragrances around me; I looked down at my garden and said, "It is Paradise, after all." I think the ancients were right when they referred to heaven as a garden, and Eden as a garden inhabited by one man and one woman, the Earthly Paradise.
I turned away, wondering what had become of the gloomy memories I had always associated with my home. I tried to recall the impression of my nurse's horrible prophecy before the death of my parents—an impression which hitherto had been vivid enough. I tried to remember my old self, my dejection, my listlessness, my bad luck, my petty disappointments. I endeavored to force myself to think as I used to think, if only to satisfy myself that I had not lost my individuality. But I succeeded in none of these efforts. I was a different man, a changed being, incapable of sorrow, of ill luck, or of sadness. My life had been a dream, not evil, but infinitely gloomy and hopeless. It was now a reality, full of hope, gladness, and all manner of good. My home had been like a tomb; to-day it was Paradise. My heart had been as though it had not existed; to-day it beat with strength and youth and the certainty of realized happiness. I revelled in the beauty of the world, and called loveliness out of the future to enjoy it before time should bring it to me, as a traveller in the plains looks up to the mountains, and already tastes the cool air through the dust of the road.
I turned away, wondering what had happened to the dark memories I’d always linked to my home. I tried to recall my nurse's terrible prophecy before my parents died—something that used to be so clear in my mind. I attempted to remember my old self, my sadness, my aimlessness, my bad luck, and my small disappointments. I tried to force myself to think the way I used to, just to reassure myself that I hadn’t lost who I was. But I couldn’t succeed at any of these efforts. I was a different man, a changed person, unable to feel sorrow, bad luck, or sadness. My life had been a dream—not bad, but endlessly bleak and hopeless. Now it was a reality, full of hope, joy, and all kinds of goodness. My home had felt like a tomb; today it felt like Paradise. My heart had seemed like it didn’t exist; today it was beating with strength, youth, and the certainty of true happiness. I basked in the beauty of the world and called forth loveliness from the future to enjoy it before time brought it to me, like a traveler in the plains looking up at the mountains, already tasting the cool air through the dust of the road.
Here, I thought, we will live and live for years. There we will sit by the fountain towards evening and in the deep moonlight. Down those paths we will wander together. On those benches we will rest and talk. Among those eastern hills we will ride through the soft twilight, and in the old house we will tell tales on winter nights, when the logs burn high, and the holly berries are red, and the old clock tolls out the dying year. On these old steps, in these dark passages and stately rooms, there will one day be the sound of little pattering feet, and laughing child-voices will ring up to the vaults of the ancient hall. Those tiny footsteps shall not be slow and sad as mine were, nor shall the childish words be spoken in an awed whisper. No gloomy Welshwoman shall people the dusky corners with weird horrors, nor utter horrid prophecies of death and ghastly things. All shall be young, and fresh, and joyful, and happy, and we will turn the old luck again, and forget that there was ever any sadness.
Here, I thought, we will live and thrive for years. We will sit by the fountain in the evenings and under the bright moonlight. Down those paths, we will stroll together. On those benches, we will relax and chat. Among those eastern hills, we will ride through the soft twilight, and in the old house, we will share stories on winter nights when the fire burns brightly, the holly berries are red, and the old clock chimes the end of the year. On these old steps, in these dark hallways and grand rooms, there will one day be the sound of little feet running around, and cheerful child-voices will echo up to the ceilings of the ancient hall. Those tiny footsteps won’t be slow and sad like mine were, nor will their innocent words be said in a hushed tone. No gloomy woman will fill the shadows with strange fears or make awful predictions of death and terrible things. Everything will be youthful, fresh, joyful, and happy, and we will bring back the old good fortune and forget that there was ever any sadness.
So I thought, as I looked out of my window that morning and for many mornings after that, and every day it all seemed more real than ever before, and much nearer. But the old nurse looked at me askance, and muttered odd sayings about the Woman of the Water. I cared little what she said, for I was far too happy.
So I thought, as I looked out of my window that morning and for many mornings after that, and every day it all seemed more real than ever before, and much closer. But the old nurse gave me a strange look and muttered weird things about the Woman of the Water. I didn't care much about what she said, because I was way too happy.
At last the time came near for the wedding. Lady Bluebell and all the tribe of Bluebells, as Margaret called them, were at Bluebell Grange, for we had determined to be married in the country, and to come straight to the Castle afterwards. We cared little for travelling, and not at all for a crowded ceremony at St George's in Hanover Square, with all the tiresome formalities afterwards. I used to ride over to the Grange every day, and very often Margaret would come with her aunt and some of her consuls to the Castle. I was suspicious of my own taste, and was only too glad to let her have her way about the alterations and improvements in our home.
At last, the time for the wedding got close. Lady Bluebell and everyone in the Bluebell family, as Margaret called them, were at Bluebell Grange because we decided to get married in the countryside and head straight to the Castle afterward. We didn't care much about traveling and not at all about a busy ceremony at St. George's in Hanover Square, with all the boring formalities that followed. I used to ride over to the Grange every day, and often Margaret would come with her aunt and some of her friends to the Castle. I was unsure about my own taste, so I was more than happy to let her take charge of the changes and improvements to our home.
We were to be married on the thirtieth of July, and on the evening of the twenty-eighth Margaret drove over with some of the Bluebell party. In the long summer twilight we all went out into the garden. Naturally enough, Margaret and I were left to ourselves, and we wandered down by the marble basins.
We were set to get married on July thirtieth, and on the evening of the twenty-eighth, Margaret drove over with some of the Bluebell group. In the long summer twilight, we all went out into the garden. Of course, Margaret and I ended up alone together, and we strolled down by the marble basins.
"It is an odd coincidence," I said; "it was on this very night last year that I first saw you."
"It’s a strange coincidence," I said; "it was on this exact night last year that I first saw you."
"Considering that it is the month of July," answered Margaret with a laugh, "and that we have been here almost every day, I don't think the coincidence is so extraordinary, after all."
"Since it's July," Margaret replied with a laugh, "and we've been here almost every day, I don't think the coincidence is that surprising, really."
"No, dear," said I, "I suppose not. I don't know why it struck me. We shall very likely be here a year from to-day, and a year from that. The odd thing, when I think of it, is that you should be here at all. But my luck has turned. I ought not to think anything odd that happens now that I have you. It is all sure to be good."
"No, sweetheart," I said, "I guess not. I’m not sure why that came to mind. We’ll probably still be here a year from today, and another year after that. The strange thing is, when I think about it, that you should even be here at all. But my luck has changed. I shouldn’t find anything odd that happens now that I have you. Everything is bound to be good."
"A slight change in your ideas since that remarkable performance of yours in Paris," said Margaret. "Do you know, I thought you were the most extraordinary man I had ever met."
"A small shift in your thoughts since that amazing performance of yours in Paris," Margaret said. "You know, I thought you were the most incredible man I'd ever met."
"I thought you were the most charming woman I had ever seen. I naturally did not want to lose any time in frivolities. I took you at your word, I followed your advice, I asked you to marry me, and this is the delightful result—what's the matter?"
"I thought you were the most charming woman I had ever seen. I didn’t want to waste any time on nonsense. I took you at your word, followed your advice, asked you to marry me, and this is the wonderful result—what's wrong?"
Margaret had started suddenly, and her hand tightened on my arm. An old woman was coming up the path, and was close to us before we saw her, for the moon had risen, and was shining full in our faces. The woman turned out to be my old nurse.
Margaret jumped suddenly, and her grip on my arm tightened. An elderly woman was approaching along the path, and we didn’t notice her until she was almost upon us, because the moon had risen and was shining directly in our faces. It turned out to be my old nurse.
"It's only Judith, dear—don't be frightened," I said. Then I spoke to the Welshwoman: "What are you about, Judith? Have you been feeding the Woman of the Water?"
"It's just Judith, dear—don't be scared," I said. Then I addressed the Welshwoman: "What are you doing, Judith? Have you been feeding the Woman of the Water?"
"Ay—when the clock strikes, Willie—my Lord, I mean," muttered the old creature, drawing aside to let us pass, and fixing her strange eyes on Margaret's face.
“Ay—when the clock strikes, Willie—my Lord, I mean,” muttered the old woman, stepping aside to let us pass and fixing her strange eyes on Margaret's face.
"What does she mean?" asked Margaret, when we had gone by.—"Nothing, darling. The old thing is mildly crazy, but she is a good soul."
"What does she mean?" asked Margaret as we walked past. — "Nothing, darling. The old lady is a bit out of her mind, but she's a good person."
We went on in silence for a few moments, and came to the rustic bridge just above the artificial grotto through which the water ran out into the park, dark and swift in its narrow channel. We stopped, and leaned on the wooden rail. The moon was now behind us, and shone full upon the long vista of basins and on the huge walls and towers of the Castle above.—"How proud you ought to be of such a grand old place!" said Margaret, softly.
We walked quietly for a few moments and reached the rustic bridge just above the artificial grotto where the water flowed out into the park, dark and fast in its narrow channel. We paused and leaned against the wooden rail. The moon was now behind us, shining brightly on the long line of basins and the massive walls and towers of the Castle above. —"You should be so proud of such a magnificent old place!" Margaret said softly.
"It is yours now, darling," I answered. "You have as good a right to love it as I—but I only love it because you are to live in it, dear."
"It’s yours now, babe," I replied. "You have just as much right to love it as I do—but I only love it because you’re going to live in it, sweetheart."
Her hand stole out and lay on mine, and we were both silent. Just then the clock began to strike far off in the tower. I counted—eight—nine—ten—eleven—I looked at my watch—twelve—thirteen—I laughed. The bell went on striking.
Her hand reached out and rested on mine, and we both stayed silent. At that moment, the clock started to chime from the tower. I counted—eight—nine—ten—eleven—I checked my watch—twelve—thirteen—I laughed. The bell continued to chime.
"The old clock has gone crazy, like Judith," I exclaimed. Still it went on, note after note ringing out monotonously through the still air. We leaned over the rail, instinctively looking in the direction whence the sound came. On and on it went. I counted nearly a hundred, out of sheer curiosity, for I understood that something had broken and that the thing was running itself down.
"The old clock has gone haywire, just like Judith," I exclaimed. Still, it kept going, note after note ringing out monotonously through the quiet air. We leaned over the railing, instinctively looking in the direction the sound was coming from. It just kept going. I counted nearly a hundred notes, out of sheer curiosity, knowing that something was broken and that it was winding down on its own.
Suddenly there was a crack as of breaking wood, a cry and a heavy splash, and I was alone, clinging to the broken end of the rail of the rustic bridge.
Suddenly, there was a loud crack like breaking wood, followed by a shout and a heavy splash, and I found myself alone, clinging to the broken end of the rail of the rustic bridge.
I do not think I hesitated while my pulse beat twice. I sprang clear of the bridge into the black rushing water, dived to the bottom, came up again with empty hands, turned and swam downward through the grotto in the thick darkness, plunging and diving at every stroke, striking my head and hands against jagged stones and sharp corners, clutching at last something in my fingers and dragging it up with all my might. I spoke, I cried aloud, but there was no answer. I was alone in the pitchy darkness with my burden, and the house was five hundred yards away. Struggling still, I felt the ground beneath my feet, I saw a ray of moonlight—the grotto widened, and the deep water became a broad and shallow brook as I stumbled over the stones and at last laid Margaret's body on the bank in the park beyond.
I don’t think I hesitated while my heart raced. I jumped off the bridge into the dark, rushing water, dove to the bottom, came up again with nothing in my hands, turned, and swam down through the grotto in the thick darkness, plunging and diving with every stroke, hitting my head and hands against jagged stones and sharp edges, finally gripping something with my fingers and pulling it up with all my strength. I spoke, I shouted, but there was no response. I was alone in the pitch black with my burden, and the house was five hundred yards away. Still struggling, I felt the ground beneath my feet, saw a beam of moonlight—the grotto widened, and the deep water turned into a broad, shallow stream as I stumbled over the stones and finally laid Margaret’s body on the bank in the park beyond.
"Ay, Willie, as the clock struck!" said the voice of Judith, the Welsh nurse, as she bent down and looked at the white face. The old woman must have turned back and followed us, seen the accident, and slipped out by the lower gate of the garden. "Ay," she groaned, "you have fed the Woman of the Water this night, Willie, while the clock was striking."
"Ay, Willie, just as the clock struck!" said Judith, the Welsh nurse, as she leaned down and looked at the pale face. The old woman must have come back and followed us, witnessed the accident, and slipped out through the lower gate of the garden. "Ay," she groaned, "you have fed the Woman of the Water tonight, Willie, while the clock was striking."
I scarcely heard her as I knelt beside the lifeless body of the woman I loved, chafing the wet white temples and gazing wildly into the wide-staring eyes. I remember only the first returning look of consciousness, the first heaving breath, the first movement of those dear hands stretching out towards me.
I barely heard her as I knelt next to the lifeless body of the woman I loved, rubbing the wet white temples and staring frantically into her wide-open eyes. I only remember the first flicker of awareness, the first deep breath, and the first movement of those beloved hands reaching out to me.
That is not much of a story, you say. It is the story of my life. That is all. It does not pretend to be anything else. Old Judith says my luck turned on that summer's night when I was struggling in the water to save all that was worth living for. A month later there was a stone bridge above the grotto, and Margaret and I stood on it and looked up at the moonlit Castle, as we had done once before, and as we have done many times since. For all those things happened ten years ago last summer, and this is the tenth Christmas Eve we have spent together by the roaring logs in the old hall, talking of old times; and every year there are more old times to talk of. There are curly-headed boys, too, with red-gold hair and dark-brown eyes like their mother's, and a little Margaret, with solemn black eyes like mine. Why could not she look like her mother, too, as well as the rest of them?
That isn’t much of a story, you say. It’s the story of my life. That’s all. It doesn’t pretend to be anything else. Old Judith says my luck changed that summer night when I was fighting in the water to save everything that was worth living for. A month later, there was a stone bridge over the grotto, and Margaret and I stood on it, looking up at the moonlit Castle, just like we had done once before, and as we have done many times since. All of that happened ten years ago last summer, and this is the tenth Christmas Eve we’ve spent together by the roaring logs in the old hall, reminiscing about the past; and every year, there are more memories to share. There are curly-headed boys too, with red-gold hair and dark-brown eyes like their mother’s, and a little Margaret, with serious black eyes like mine. Why couldn’t she look like her mother too, like the rest of them?
The world is very bright at this glorious Christmas time, and perhaps there is little use in calling up the sadness of long ago, unless it be to make the jolly fire-light seem more cheerful, the good wife's face look gladder, and to give the children's laughter a merrier ring, by contrast with all that is gone. Perhaps, too, some sad faced, listless, melancholy youth, who feels that the world is very hollow, and that life is like a perpetual funeral service, just as I used to feel myself, may take courage from my example, and having found the woman of his heart, ask her to marry him after half an hour's acquaintance. But, on the whole, I would not advise any man to marry, for the simple reason that no man will ever find a wife like mine, and being obliged to go farther, he will necessarily fare worse. My wife has done miracles, but I will not assert that any other woman is able to follow her example.
The world is really bright during this wonderful Christmas season, and maybe there's not much point in bringing up the sadness of the past, unless it's to make the warm glow of the fire seem even cheerier, the wife's face shine even brighter, and the kids' laughter ring even merrier by comparing it to what has passed. Maybe some sad, tired, downcast young person, who thinks the world feels empty and life is like a never-ending funeral, just like I used to feel, might find courage in my story and, after knowing the woman of his dreams for just half an hour, decide to propose. But honestly, I wouldn't recommend any man get married, simply because no man will ever find a wife like mine, and if he has to look elsewhere, he'll likely end up worse off. My wife has achieved miracles, but I can't claim any other woman could match her.
Margaret always said that the old place was beautiful, and that I ought to be proud of it. I dare say she is right. She has even more imagination than I. But I have a good answer and a plain one, which is this,—that all the beauty of the Castle comes from her. She has breathed upon it all, as the children blow upon the cold glass window-panes in winter; and as their warm breath crystallizes into landscapes from fairyland, full of exquisite shapes and traceries upon the blank surface, so her spirit has transformed every gray stone of the old towers, every ancient tree and hedge in the gardens, every thought in my once melancholy self. All that was old is young, and all that was sad is glad, and I am the gladdest of all. Whatever heaven may be, there is no earthly paradise without woman, nor is there anywhere a place so desolate, so dreary, so unutterably miserable that a woman cannot make it seem heaven to the man she loves and who loves her.
Margaret always said that the old place was beautiful and that I should be proud of it. I guess she’s right. She has even more imagination than I do. But I have a simple answer, and it’s this: all the beauty of the Castle comes from her. She has breathed life into it all, like kids blowing on cold glass window panes in winter; and just as their warm breath creates landscapes from fairy tales, full of beautiful shapes and designs on the blank surface, her spirit has transformed every gray stone of the old towers, every ancient tree and hedge in the gardens, and every thought in my once sad self. Everything that was old is now young, and everything that was sad is happy, and I am the happiest of all. Whatever heaven might be, there is no earthly paradise without a woman, and nowhere is so desolate, dreary, or unbearably miserable that a woman can’t make it feel like heaven to the man she loves and who loves her back.
I hear certain cynics laugh, and cry that all that has been said before. Do not laugh, my good cynic. You are too small a man to laugh at such a great thing as love. Prayers have been said before now by many, and perhaps you say yours, too. I do not think they lose anything by being repeated, nor you by repeating them. You say that the world is bitter, and full of the Waters of Bitterness. Love, and so live that you may be loved—the world will turn sweet for you, and you shall rest like me by the Waters of Paradise.
I hear some cynics laugh and say that everything has been said before. Don’t laugh, my cynical friend. You’re too small-minded to mock something as powerful as love. Many have offered prayers before, and maybe you offer yours as well. I don’t think repeating them takes anything away, nor does it detract from you. You say the world is harsh and filled with bitterness. Love, and live in a way that allows you to be loved—the world will become sweet for you, and you’ll find peace like I do by the Waters of Paradise.
A MEMORABLE NIGHT
By ANNA KATHARINE GREEN
Copyright 1891 by Anna Katharine Green.
Copyright 1891 by Anna Katharine Green.
CHAPTER I
I am a young physician of limited practice and great ambition. At the time of the incidents I am about to relate, my office was in a respectable house in Twenty-fourth Street, New York City, and was shared, greatly to my own pleasure and convenience, by a clever young German whose acquaintance I had made in the hospital, and to whom I had become, in the one short year in which we had practised together, most unreasonably attached. I say unreasonably, because it was a liking for which I could not account even to myself, as he was neither especially prepossessing in appearance nor gifted with any too great amiability of character. He was, however, a brilliant theorist and an unquestionably trustworthy practitioner, and for these reasons probably I entertained for him a profound respect, and as I have already said a hearty and spontaneous affection.
I’m a young doctor with limited experience but big ambitions. At the time of the events I’m about to describe, my office was in a nice house on Twenty-fourth Street in New York City. I shared the space, which I found quite enjoyable and convenient, with a bright young German man I had met at the hospital. In the short year we had practiced together, I had become inexplicably fond of him. I say "inexplicably" because I couldn’t even explain it to myself; he wasn’t particularly good-looking and didn’t have a super friendly personality. However, he was a brilliant theorist and a definitely reliable practitioner, and for those reasons, I had deep respect for him, as well as a genuine and warm affection.
As our specialties were the same, and as, moreover, they were of a nature which did not call for night-work, we usually spent the evening together. But once I failed to join him at the office, and it is of this night I have to tell.
As our specialties were the same, and since they didn’t require any night shifts, we usually spent the evenings together. But once I didn’t meet him at the office, and it’s about that night that I have to tell.
I had been over to Orange, for my heart was sore over the quarrel I had had with Dora, and I was resolved to make one final effort towards reconciliation. But alas for my hopes, she was not at home; and, what was worse, I soon learned that she was going to sail the next morning for Europe. This news, coming as it did without warning, affected me seriously, for I knew if she escaped from my influence at this time, I should certainly lose her forever; for the gentleman concerning whom we had quarrelled, was a much better match for her than I, and almost equally in love. However, her father, who had always been my friend, did not look upon this same gentleman's advantages with as favorable an eye as she did, and when he heard I was in the house, he came hurrying into my presence, with excitement written in every line of his fine face.
I had gone over to Orange because my heart was heavy from the argument I had with Dora, and I was determined to make one last attempt to make things right. But unfortunately, she wasn’t home; and, to make matters worse, I soon found out she was leaving for Europe the next morning. This news, arriving unexpectedly, hit me hard, because I knew that if she got away from me now, I would likely lose her for good; the guy we had fought about was a much better match for her than I was, and he was almost equally in love. Fortunately, her father, who had always been my ally, didn’t view that guy's qualities as positively as she did, and when he found out I was in the house, he rushed to see me, clearly excited.
"Ah, Dick, my boy," he exclaimed joyfully, "how opportune this is! I was wishing you would come, for, do you know, Appleby has taken passage on board the same steamer as Dora, and if he and she cross together, they will certainly come to an understanding, and that will not be fair to you, or pleasing to me; and I do not care who knows it!"
"Ah, Dick, my boy," he said happily, "this is so timely! I was hoping you would show up because, you know, Appleby booked a spot on the same steamer as Dora. If they travel together, they'll definitely hit it off, and that won't be fair to you or make me happy; and I don’t care who knows it!"
I gave him one look and sank, quite overwhelmed, into the seat nearest me. Appleby was the name of my rival, and I quite agreed with her father that the tête-à-têtes afforded by an ocean voyage would surely put an end to the hopes which I had so long and secretly cherished.
I gave him a glance and, feeling completely overwhelmed, sank into the nearest seat. Appleby was my rival's name, and I completely agreed with her dad that the private conversations during an ocean voyage would definitely put an end to the hopes I had long and secretly held.
"Does she know he is going? Did she encourage him?" I stammered.
"Does she know he's leaving? Did she push him to go?" I stammered.
But the old man answered genially: "Oh, she knows, but I cannot say anything positive about her having encouraged him. The fact is, Dick, she still holds a soft place in her heart for you, and if you were going to be of the party—"
But the old man replied kindly, "Oh, she knows, but I can’t say anything good about her encouraging him. The truth is, Dick, she still has a soft spot for you, and if you were going to be part of the group—"
"Well?"
"What's up?"
"I think you would come off conqueror yet."
"I think you would still come out on top."
"Then I will be of the party," I cried. "It is only six now, and I can be in New York by seven. That gives me five hours before midnight, time enough in which to arrange my plans, see Richter, and make everything ready for sailing in the morning."
"Then I’ll join the group," I said. "It’s only six now, and I can be in New York by seven. That gives me five hours before midnight, plenty of time to finalize my plans, meet with Richter, and get everything set for sailing in the morning."
"Dick, you are a trump!" exclaimed the gratified father. "You have a spirit I like, and if Dora does not like it too, then I am mistaken in her good sense. But can you leave your patients?"
"Dick, you're the best!" exclaimed the happy father. "You have a spirit I admire, and if Dora doesn’t appreciate it too, then I’m wrong about her good judgment. But can you leave your patients?"
"Just now I have but one patient who is in anything like a critical condition," I replied, "and her case Richter understands almost as well as I do myself. I will have to see her this evening of course and explain, but there is time for that if I go now. The steamer sails at nine?"
"Right now, I only have one patient in a serious condition," I said, "and Richter understands her situation nearly as well as I do. I’ll need to check on her this evening and explain things, but there’s enough time for that if I leave now. The steamer departs at nine?"
"Precisely."
"Exactly."
"Do not tell Dora that I expect to be there; let her be surprised. Dear girl, she is quite well, I hope?"
"Don't tell Dora that I'm planning to be there; let her be surprised. I hope she's doing well, dear girl?"
"Yes, very well; only going over with her aunt to do some shopping. A poor outlook for a struggling physician, you think. Well, I don't know about that; she is just the kind of a girl to go from one extreme to another. If she once loves you she will not care any longer about Paris fashions."
"Yes, that’s right; just going out with her aunt to do some shopping. A tough situation for a struggling doctor, you think? Well, I’m not so sure about that; she’s the type of girl who swings from one extreme to the other. Once she falls in love with you, she won’t care about Paris fashion anymore."
"She shall love me," I cried, and left him in a great hurry, to catch the first train for Hoboken.
"She will love me," I shouted, and rushed away to catch the first train to Hoboken.
It seemed wild, this scheme, but I determined to pursue it. I loved Dora too much to lose her, and if three weeks' absence would procure me the happiness of my life, why should I hesitate to avail myself of the proffered opportunity. I rode on air as the express I had taken shot from station to station, and by the time I had arrived at Christopher Street Ferry my plans were all laid and my time disposed of till midnight.
It seemed crazy, this plan, but I decided to go for it. I loved Dora too much to let her go, and if being away for three weeks would give me the happiness of my life, why should I hesitate to take advantage of the opportunity? I felt like I was floating as the train I was on sped from station to station, and by the time I got to Christopher Street Ferry, my plans were all set, and I knew how I’d spend my time until midnight.
It was therefore with no laggard step I hurried to my office, nor was it with any ordinary feelings of impatience that I found Richter out; for this was not his usual hour for absenting himself and I had much to tell him and many advices to give. It was the first balk I had received and I was fuming over it, when I saw what looked like a package of books lying on the table before me, and though it was addressed to my partner, I was about to take it up, when I heard my name uttered in a tremulous tone, and turning, saw a man standing in the doorway, who, the moment I met his eye, advanced into the room and said:
It was with no hesitation that I rushed to my office, and I wasn’t just impatient to find Richter absent; this wasn’t his usual time to be gone, and I had a lot to tell him and plenty of advice to offer. It was the first setback I had experienced, and I was really annoyed about it when I noticed what looked like a package of books on the table in front of me. Although it was addressed to my partner, I was about to pick it up when I heard my name called in a shaky voice. Turning around, I saw a man standing in the doorway. The moment our eyes met, he stepped into the room and said:
"O doctor, I have been waiting for you an hour. Mrs. Warner has been taken very bad, sir, and she prays that you will not delay a moment before coming to her. It is something serious I fear, and she may have died already, for she would have no one else but you, and it is now an hour since I left her."
"O doctor, I've been waiting for you for an hour. Mrs. Warner has gotten really sick, and she begs you not to wait a second longer before you come to her. I'm afraid it's something serious, and she might have already passed away because she insisted on no one else but you. It's been an hour since I left her."
"And who are you?" I asked, for though I knew Mrs. Warner well—she is the patient to whom I have already referred—I did not know her messenger.
"And who are you?" I asked, because even though I knew Mrs. Warner well—she's the patient I've already mentioned—I didn't recognize her messenger.
"I am a servant in the house where she was taken ill."
"I work as a servant in the house where she got sick."
"Then she is not at home?"
"Then she's not there?"
"No, sir, she is in Second Avenue."
"No, sir, she's on Second Avenue."
"I am very sorry," I began, "but I have not the time——"
"I’m really sorry," I started, "but I don’t have the time——"
But he interrupted eagerly: "There is a carriage at the door; we thought you might not have your phaeton ready."
But he interrupted eagerly: "There's a carriage out front; we thought you might not have your carriage ready."
I had noticed the carriage. "Very well," said I. "I will go, but first let me write a line——"
I noticed the carriage. "Alright," I said. "I'll go, but first let me write a note——"
"O sir," the man broke in pleadingly, "do not wait for anything. She is really very bad, and I heard her calling for you as I ran out of the house."
"O sir," the man interrupted urgently, "don’t wait for anything. She's really in bad shape, and I heard her calling for you as I rushed out of the house."
"She had her voice then?" I ventured, somewhat distrustful of the whole thing and yet not knowing how to refuse the man, especially as it was absolutely necessary for me to see Mrs. Warner that night and get her consent to my departure before I could think of making further plans.
"Did she have her voice then?" I asked, feeling a bit skeptical about the whole situation but not sure how to turn the man down, especially since I really needed to see Mrs. Warner that night and get her approval for my departure before I could consider any other plans.
So, leaving word for Richter to be sure and wait for me if he came home before I did, I signified to Mrs. Warner's messenger that I was ready to go with him, and immediately took a seat in the carriage which had been provided for me. The man at once jumped up on the box beside the driver, and before I could close the carriage door we were off, riding rapidly down Seventh Avenue.
So, after letting Richter know to wait for me if he got home before I did, I signaled to Mrs. Warner's messenger that I was ready to leave with him and quickly got into the carriage that had been arranged for me. The man immediately jumped up onto the box next to the driver, and before I could close the carriage door, we were off, speeding down Seventh Avenue.
As we went the thought came, "What if Mrs. Warner will not let me off!" But I dismissed the fear at once, for this patient of mine is an extremely unselfish woman, and if she were not too ill to grasp the situation, would certainly sympathize with the strait I was in and consent to accept Richter's services in place of my own, especially as she knows and trusts him.
As we walked, a worry crossed my mind, "What if Mrs. Warner doesn't let me go!" But I quickly pushed the fear aside because this patient of mine is a really selfless woman, and if she weren't too ill to understand what was going on, she would definitely sympathize with my dilemma and agree to accept Richter's help instead of mine, especially since she knows and trusts him.
When the carriage stopped it was already dark and I could distinguish little of the house I entered, save that it was large and old and did not look like an establishment where a man servant would be likely to be kept.
When the carriage stopped, it was already dark, and I could barely make out the house I entered, except that it was big and old and didn’t seem like a place where you’d expect to find a male servant.
"Is Mrs. Warner here?" I asked of the man who was slowly getting down from the box.
"Is Mrs. Warner here?" I asked the man who was slowly getting off the box.
"Yes, sir," he answered quickly; and I was about to ring the bell before me, when the door opened and a young German girl, courtesying slightly, welcomed me in, saying:
"Yes, sir," he replied quickly; and I was about to ring the bell in front of me when the door opened and a young German girl, giving a slight curtsy, welcomed me inside, saying:
"Mrs. Warner is upstairs, sir; in the front room, if you please."
"Mrs. Warner is upstairs, sir; in the front room, if you don’t mind."
Not doubting her, but greatly astonished at the barren aspect of the place I was in, I stumbled up the faintly lighted stairs before me and entered the great front room. It was empty, but through an open door at the other end I heard a voice saying: "He has come, madam;" and anxious to see my patient, whose presence in this desolate house I found it harder and harder to understand, I stepped into the room where she presumably lay.
Not doubting her, but really surprised by how lifeless the place looked, I stumbled up the dimly lit stairs in front of me and walked into the large front room. It was empty, but through an open door at the other end, I heard a voice saying, "He has arrived, madam;" and eager to see my patient, whose presence in this dreary house I found increasingly hard to grasp, I stepped into the room where she was presumably lying.
Alas! for my temerity in doing so; for no sooner had I crossed the threshold than the door by which I had entered closed with a click unlike any I had ever heard before, and when I turned to see what it meant, another click came from the opposite side of the room, and I perceived, with a benumbed sense of wonder, that the one person whose somewhat shadowy figure I had encountered on entering had vanished from the place, and that I was shut up alone in a room without visible means of egress.
Alas! for my boldness in doing that; for no sooner had I stepped through the doorway than the door I had come in through snapped shut with a sound unlike any I had ever heard before, and when I turned to see what it meant, another click came from the other side of the room. I realized, with a numb sense of wonder, that the one person whose somewhat shadowy figure I had seen upon entering had disappeared, and that I was locked alone in a room with no clear way out.
This was startling, and hard to believe at first, but after I had tried the door by which I had entered and found it securely locked, and then bounding to the other side of the room, tried the opposite one with the same result, I could not but acknowledge I was caught. What did it mean? Caught, and I was in haste, mad haste. Filling the room with my cries, I shouted for help and a quick release, but my efforts were naturally fruitless, and after exhausting myself in vain I stood still and surveyed, with what equanimity was left me, the appearance of the dreary place in which I had thus suddenly become entrapped.
This was shocking and hard to believe at first, but after I tried the door I had entered and found it securely locked, then rushed to the other side of the room to try the opposite door with the same result, I had to admit I was trapped. What did it mean? Trapped, and I was in a rush, a frantic rush. Filling the room with my cries, I shouted for help and a quick escape, but my efforts were obviously useless, and after exhausting myself in vain, I stood still and looked around, with whatever calmness I had left, at the dreary place where I had suddenly become stuck.
CHAPTER II
It was a small square room, and I shall not soon forget with what a foreboding shudder I observed that its four blank walls were literally unbroken by a single window, for this told me that I was in no communication with the street, and that it would be impossible for me to summon help from the outside world. The single gas jet burning in a fixture hanging from the ceiling was the only relief given to the eye in the blank expanse of white wall that surrounded me; while as to furniture, the room could boast of nothing more than an old-fashioned black-walnut table and two chairs, the latter cushioned, but stiff in the back and generally dilapidated in appearance. The only sign of comfort about me was a tray that stood on the table, containing a couple of bottles of wine and two glasses. The bottles were full and the glasses clean, and to add to this appearance of hospitality a box of cigars rested invitingly near, which I could not fail to perceive, even at the first glance, were of the very best brand.
It was a small square room, and I won’t forget the unsettling chill I felt when I noticed that its four plain walls had no windows at all. This made it clear to me that I had no way to connect with the outside world and that asking for help would be impossible. The single gas light hanging from the ceiling was the only thing breaking up the dull white walls surrounding me. As for furniture, the room had nothing more than an old-fashioned black walnut table and two chairs—one was cushioned, but they were both stiff-backed and looked pretty worn out. The only hint of comfort was a tray on the table with a couple of wine bottles and two glasses. The bottles were full and the glasses were clean, and to top it off, a box of cigars was sitting invitingly nearby, clearly of the very best brand.
Astonished at these tokens of consideration for my welfare, and confounded by the prospect which they offered of a lengthy stay in this place, I gave another great shout; but to no better purpose than before. Not a voice answered, and not a stir was heard in the house. But there came from without the faint sound of suddenly moving wheels, as if the carriage which I had left standing before the door had slowly rolled away. If this were so, then was I indeed a prisoner, while the moments so necessary to my plans, and perhaps to the securing of my whole future happiness, were flying by like the wind. As I realized this, and my own utter helplessness, I fell into one of the chairs before me in a state of perfect despair. Not that any fears for my life were disturbing me, though one in my situation might well question if he would ever again breathe the open air from which he had been so ingeniously lured. I did not in that first moment of utter downheartedness so much as inquire the reason for the trick which had been played upon me. No, my heart was full of Dora, and I was asking myself if I were destined to lose her after all, and that through no lack of effort on my part, but just because a party of thieves or blackmailers had thought fit to play a game with my liberty.
Astonished by these signs of concern for my well-being and overwhelmed by the possibility of a long stay in this place, I let out another loud shout, but it proved just as futile as before. No one responded, and there was no sound in the house. Outside, I heard the faint noise of wheels moving, as if the carriage I had left waiting at the door was slowly driving away. If that was true, then I was really a prisoner, and the moments crucial to my plans—and possibly to securing my entire future happiness—were slipping away like the wind. As I realized this and felt completely powerless, I collapsed onto one of the chairs in front of me, consumed by despair. I wasn’t particularly worried about my life, though someone in my position might well wonder if they would ever breathe fresh air again after being so cleverly trapped. In that moment of deep disappointment, I didn’t even question why this trick had been played on me. No, my thoughts were entirely focused on Dora, and I was wondering if I was destined to lose her after all, not due to any fault of my own, but simply because a group of thieves or extortionists decided to toy with my freedom.
It could not be; there must be some mistake about it; it was some great joke, or I was the victim of a dream, or suffering from some hideous nightmare. Why, only a half hour before I was in my own office, among my own familiar belongings, and now—— But, alas, it was no delusion. Only four blank, whitewashed walls met my inquiring eyes, and though I knocked and knocked again upon the two doors which guarded me on either side, hollow echoes continued to be the only answer I received.
It couldn't be; there had to be some mistake; it had to be some big joke, or I was trapped in a dream, or stuck in a terrible nightmare. Why, just half an hour ago, I was in my own office, surrounded by my own familiar things, and now—— But, sadly, it was no illusion. Only four plain, whitewashed walls met my questioning gaze, and even though I knocked repeatedly on the two doors that kept me on either side, all I got back were hollow echoes.
Had the carriage then taken away the two persons I had seen in this house, and was I indeed alone in its great emptiness? The thought made me desperate, but notwithstanding this I was resolved to continue my efforts, for I might be mistaken; there might yet be some being left who would yield to my entreaties, if they were backed by something substantial.
Had the carriage taken away the two people I had seen in this house, and was I really alone in its vast emptiness? The thought drove me to despair, but despite this, I was determined to keep trying, because I could be wrong; there might still be someone left who would respond to my pleas if they were supported by something tangible.
Taking out my watch, I laid it on the table; it was just a quarter to eight. Then I emptied my trousers pockets of whatever money they held, and when all was heaped up before me, I could count but twelve dollars, which, together with my studs and a seal ring which I wore, seemed a paltry pittance with which to barter for the liberty of which I had been robbed. But it was all I had with me, and I was willing to part with it at once if only some one would unlock the door and let me go. But how to make known my wishes even if there was any one to listen to them? I had already called in vain, and there was no bell—yes, there was; why had I not seen it before? There was a bell and I sprang to ring it. But just as my hand fell on the cord, I heard a gentle voice behind my back saying in good English, but with a strong foreign accent:
Taking out my watch, I placed it on the table; it was just a quarter to eight. Then I emptied my pockets of whatever money I had, and when it was all piled up in front of me, I could count only twelve dollars, which, along with my cufflinks and the signet ring I wore, seemed like a small amount to trade for the freedom that had been taken from me. But it was all I had on me, and I was ready to part with it immediately if only someone would unlock the door and let me leave. But how could I communicate my wishes even if there was someone listening? I had already called out in vain, and there was no bell—wait, there was; why had I not noticed it before? There was a bell, and I rushed to ring it. But just as my hand touched the cord, I heard a gentle voice behind me saying in clear English, but with a strong foreign accent:
"Put up your money, Mr. Atwater; we do not want your money, only your society. Allow me to beg you to replace both watch and money."
"Put your money away, Mr. Atwater; we don’t want your money, just your company. Please let me urge you to take back both your watch and your money."
Wheeling about in my double surprise at the presence of this intruder and his unexpected acquaintance with my name, I encountered the smiling glance of a middle-aged man of genteel appearance and courteous manners. He was bowing almost to the ground, and was, as I instantly detected, of German birth and education, a gentleman, and not a blackleg I had every reason to expect to see.
Wheeling around in my double surprise at the presence of this intruder and his unexpected familiarity with my name, I came across the friendly gaze of a middle-aged man who looked well-mannered and sophisticated. He was bowing almost to the ground and, as I quickly realized, was of German origin and upbringing, a gentleman, unlike the crook I had every reason to expect to see.
"You have made a slight mistake," he was saying; "it is your society, only your society, that we want."
"You've made a small mistake," he said; "it's your society, only your society, that we want."
Astonished at his appearance, and exceedingly irritated by his words, I stepped back as he offered me my watch, and bluntly cried:
Astonished by how he looked and really annoyed by what he said, I stepped back as he handed me my watch and bluntly said:
"If it is my society only that you want, you have certainly taken very strange means to procure it. A thief could have set no neater trap, and if it is money you want, state your sum and let me go, for my time is valuable and my society likely to be unpleasant."
"If it’s just my company you’re after, you’ve used some really weird tactics to get it. A thief couldn’t have set a better trap, and if it’s money you want, just say how much and let me go, because my time is valuable and your company is probably going to be uncomfortable."
He gave a shrug with his shoulders that in no wise interfered with his set smile.
He shrugged his shoulders, but it didn't affect his fixed smile at all.
"You choose to be facetious," he observed. "I have already remarked that we have no use for your money. Will you sit down? Here is some excellent wine, and if this brand of cigars does not suit you, I will send for another."
"You choose to be sarcastic," he noted. "I've already mentioned that we have no need for your money. Will you take a seat? Here's some great wine, and if these cigars aren't to your liking, I'll get you a different brand."
"Send for the devil!" I cried, greatly exasperated. "What do you mean by keeping me in this place against my will? Open that door and let me out, or——"
"Call for the devil!" I shouted, really frustrated. "What do you think you're doing keeping me here against my will? Open that door and let me out, or——"
I was ready to spring and he saw it. Smiling more atrociously than ever, he slipped behind the table, and before I could reach him, had quietly drawn a pistol, which he cocked before my eyes.
I was ready to spring, and he noticed. Smiling more wickedly than ever, he slipped behind the table, and before I could get to him, he had quietly pulled out a gun and cocked it right in front of me.
"You are excited," he remarked, with a suavity that nearly drove me mad. "Now excitement is no aid to good company, and I am determined that none but good company shall be in this room to-night. So if you will be kind enough to calm yourself, Mr. Atwater, you and I may yet enjoy ourselves, but if not—" the action he made was significant, and I felt the cold sweat break out on my forehead through all the heat of my indignation.
"You’re excited," he said smoothly, which almost drove me crazy. "Now, excitement doesn’t help with good company, and I’m set on making sure only good company is in this room tonight. So if you could please calm down, Mr. Atwater, you and I might still have a good time, but if not—" the gesture he made was clearly meaningful, and I felt cold sweat break out on my forehead despite the heat of my anger.
But I did not mean to show him that he had intimidated me.
But I didn't want to let him see that he had intimidated me.
"Excuse me," said I, "and put down your pistol. Though you are making me lose irredeemable time, I will try and control myself enough to give you an opportunity for explaining yourself. Why have you entrapped me into this place?"
"Excuse me," I said, "and put down your gun. Even though you're wasting my time, I’ll try to keep my cool and give you a chance to explain yourself. Why did you trap me in here?"
"I have already told you," said he, gently laying the pistol before him, but within easy reach of his hand.
"I've already told you," he said, gently placing the pistol in front of him, but within easy reach of his hand.
"But that is preposterous," I began, fast losing my self-control again. "You do not know me, and if you did——"
"But that is ridiculous," I started, quickly losing my temper again. "You don’t know me, and if you did——"
"Pardon me, you see I know your name."
"Pardon me, I know your name."
Yes, that was true, and the fact set me thinking. How did he know my name? I did not know him, nor did I know this house, or any reason for which I could have been beguiled into it. Was I the victim of a conspiracy, or was the man mad? Looking at him very earnestly, I declared:
Yes, that was true, and it made me think. How did he know my name? I didn’t know him, nor did I recognize this house, or any reason that would have led me here. Was I a victim of a conspiracy, or was the guy crazy? Staring at him intently, I said:
"My name is Atwater, and so far you are right, but in learning that much about me you must also have learned that I am neither rich nor influential, nor of any special value to a blackmailer. Why choose me out then for—your society? Why not choose some one who can—talk?"
"My name is Atwater, and you're correct so far, but in learning that much about me, you must also have realized that I'm neither wealthy nor influential, and I'm of no particular interest to a blackmailer. So why choose me for—your company? Why not pick someone who can—hold a conversation?"
"I find your conversation very interesting."
"I find your conversation really interesting."
Baffled, exasperated almost beyond the power to restrain myself, I shook my fist in his face, notwithstanding I saw his hand fly to his pistol.
Baffled, almost ready to lose my temper, I shook my fist in his face, even though I saw him reach for his gun.
"Let me go!" I shrieked. "Let me go out of this place. I have business, I tell you, important business which means everything to me, and which, if I do not attend to it to-night, will be lost to me forever. Let me go, and I will so far reward you that I will speak to no one of what has taken place here to-night, but go my ways, forgetful of you, forgetful of this house, forgetful of all connected with it."
"Let me go!" I yelled. "Let me get out of here. I have something important to take care of; it means everything to me. If I don’t deal with it tonight, I’ll lose it for good. Let me go, and I promise I won’t tell anyone about what happened here tonight. I’ll just move on, forgetting you, forgetting this house, and everything related to it."
"You are very good," was his quiet reply, "but this wine has to be drunk." And he calmly poured out a glass, while I drew back in despair. "You do not drink wine?" he queried, holding up the glass he had filled between himself and the light. "It is a pity, for it is of most rare vintage. But perhaps you smoke?"
"You’re really good," he said softly, "but this wine needs to be drunk." And he poured a glass without a care, while I stepped back in frustration. "You don’t drink wine?" he asked, holding the glass up to the light. "That's too bad, because it's a really rare vintage. But maybe you smoke?"
Sick and disgusted, I found a chair, and sat down in it. If the man were crazy, there was certainly method in his madness. Besides, he had not a crazy eye; there was calm calculation in it and not a little good-nature. Did he simply want to detain me, and if so, did he have a motive it would pay me to fathom before I exerted myself further to insure my release? Answering the wave he made me with his hand by reaching out for the bottle and filling myself a glass, I forced myself to speak more affably as I remarked:
Sick and disgusted, I found a chair and sat down. If the guy was crazy, there was definitely a method to his madness. Plus, he didn’t have a crazy look in his eyes; there was calm calculation there and a bit of good humor too. Did he just want to keep me here, and if so, did he have a reason that I should figure out before I tried too hard to secure my release? Responding to the wave he made with his hand, I reached for the bottle and poured myself a glass, forcing myself to speak more friendly as I said:
"If the wine must be drunk, we had better be about it, as you can not mean to detain me more than an hour, whatever reason you may have for wishing my society."
"If the wine needs to be drunk, we should get on with it, since you can't expect to keep me here for more than an hour, no matter what your reasons are for wanting me around."
He looked at me inquiringly before answering, then tossing off his glass, he remarked:
He looked at me questioningly before answering, then downing his drink, he said:
"I am sorry, but in an hour a man can scarcely make the acquaintance of another man's exterior."
"I’m sorry, but in an hour, a person can hardly get to know someone else's surface."
"Then you mean——"
"Wait, you mean——"
"To know you thoroughly, if you will be so good; I may never have the opportunity again."
"To get to know you completely, if you would be so kind; I may not have the chance again."
He must be mad; nothing else but mania could account for such words and such actions; and yet, if mad, why was he allowed to enter my presence? The man who brought me here, the woman who received me at the door, had not been mad.
He must be crazy; nothing else but madness could explain such words and actions; and yet, if he is mad, why was he allowed to come into my presence? The man who brought me here and the woman who greeted me at the door weren't mad.
"And I must stay here——" I began.
"And I have to stay here——" I started.
"Till I am quite satisfied. I am afraid that will take till morning."
"Until I'm completely satisfied. I'm afraid that will take until morning."
I gave a cry of despair, and then in my utter desperation spoke up to him as I would to a man of feeling:
I let out a cry of despair, and then in my complete desperation, I spoke to him as I would to a caring person:
"You don't know what you are doing; you don't know what I shall suffer by any such cruel detention. This night is not like other nights to me. This is a special night in my life, and I need it, I need it, I tell you, to spend as I will. The woman I love"—it seemed horrible to speak of her in this place, but I was wild at my helplessness, and madly hoped I might awake some answering chord in a breast which could not be void of all feeling or he would not have that benevolent look in his eye—"the woman I love," I repeated, "sails for Europe to-morrow. We have quarrelled, but she still cares for me, and if I can sail on the same steamer, we will yet make up and be happy."
"You don't know what you're doing; you have no idea what I'm going to suffer from this cruel detention. This night is different from all other nights for me. It's a special night in my life, and I need it, I really need it, to spend it the way I want. The woman I love"—it felt terrible to mention her here, but I was desperate in my helplessness, and I madly hoped to touch some sympathetic feeling in someone who couldn't be completely devoid of emotion, or he wouldn't have that kind look in his eyes—"the woman I love," I repeated, "is leaving for Europe tomorrow. We've had a fight, but she still cares about me, and if I can catch the same steamer, we can reconcile and be happy."
"At what time does this steamer start?"
"At what time does this boat leave?"
"At nine in the morning."
"At 9 AM."
"Well, you shall leave this house at eight. If you go directly to the steamer you will be in time."
"Well, you should leave this house at eight. If you head straight to the steamer, you'll make it on time."
"But—but," I panted, "I have made no arrangements. I shall have to go to my lodgings, write letters, get money. I ought to be there at this moment. Have you no mercy on a man who never did you wrong, and only asks to quit you and forget the precious hour you have made him lose?"
"But—but," I panted, "I haven't made any plans. I need to go to my place, write some letters, get some money. I should be there right now. Have you no compassion for a guy who has never wronged you and just wants to leave and forget the valuable hour you've made him waste?"
"I am sorry," he said, "it is certainly quite unfortunate, but the door will not be opened before eight. There is really no one in the house to unlock it."
"I'm sorry," he said, "it's definitely unfortunate, but the door won't be opened until eight. There's really no one in the house to unlock it."
"And do you mean to say," I cried aghast, "that you could not open that door if you would, that you are locked in here as well as I, and that I must remain here till morning, no matter how I feel or you feel?"
"And are you really saying," I exclaimed in shock, "that you can’t open that door even if you wanted to, that you’re locked in here just like I am, and that I have to stay here until morning, regardless of how we feel?"
"Will you not take a cigar?" he asked.
"Won't you take a cigar?" he asked.
Then I began to see how useless it was to struggle, and visions of Dora leaning on the steamer rail with that serpent whispering soft entreaties in her ear came rushing before me, till I could have wept in my jealous chagrin.
Then I started to realize how pointless it was to fight against it, and images of Dora leaning on the ship's railing with that snake whispering sweet nothings in her ear flooded my mind, making me want to cry out of jealousy and frustration.
"It is cruel, base, devilish," I began. "If you had the excuse of wanting money, and took this method of wringing my all from me, I could have patience, but to entrap and keep me here for nothing, when my whole future happiness is trembling in the balance, is the work of a fiend and——" I made a sudden pause, for a strange idea had struck me.
"It’s cruel, low, and wicked," I started. "If you were after money and used this method to take everything I have, I might understand, but to trap and hold me here for no reason at all, while my entire future happiness hangs in the balance, is the act of a monster and——" I suddenly stopped, as a strange thought occurred to me.
CHAPTER III
What if this man, these men and this woman, were in league with him whose rivalry I feared, and whom I had intended to supplant on the morrow. It was a wild surmise, but was it any wilder than to believe I was held here for a mere whim, a freak, a joke, as this bowing, smiling man before me would have me believe?
What if this man, these guys, and this woman were working with the person I feared as a rival and whom I planned to take down tomorrow? It was a crazy thought, but was it any crazier than thinking I was stuck here for no reason, just a whim, a weird joke, as this polite, smiling guy in front of me wanted me to believe?
Rising in fresh excitement, I struck my hand on the table. "You want to keep me from going on the steamer," I cried. "That other wretch who loves her has paid you—"
Rising with fresh excitement, I slammed my hand on the table. "You want to stop me from taking the steamer," I yelled. "That other loser who loves her has paid you—"
But that other wretch could not know that I was meditating any such unusual scheme, as following him without a full day's warning. I thought of this even before I had finished my sentence, and did not need the blank astonishment in the face of the man before me to convince me that I had given utterance to a foolish accusation. "It would have been some sort of a motive for your actions," I humbly added, as I sank back from my hostile attitude; "now you have none."
But that other unfortunate didn’t realize that I was thinking about such an unusual plan, like following him without a full day’s notice. I considered this even before I finished my sentence and didn't need to see the sheer shock on the man's face to convince me that I had made a ridiculous accusation. "It would have given some sort of reason for your actions," I said humbly, as I relaxed from my confrontational stance; "now you have none."
I thought he bestowed upon me a look of quiet pity, but if so he soon hid it with his uplifted glass.
I thought he gave me a look of silent sympathy, but if he did, he quickly covered it up with his raised glass.
"Forget the girl," said he; "I know of a dozen just as pretty."
"Forget about her," he said, "I know a dozen just as cute."
I was too indignant to answer.
I was too angry to respond.
"Women are the bane of life," he now sententiously exclaimed. "They are ever intruding themselves between a man and his comfort, as for instance just now between yourself and this good wine."
"Women are the curse of life," he now declared with certainty. "They're always getting in the way of a man's comfort, like just now between you and this nice wine."
I caught up the bottle in sheer desperation.
I grabbed the bottle out of pure desperation.
"Don't talk of them," I cried, "and I will try and drink. I almost wish there was poison in the glass. My death here might bring punishment upon you."
"Don't mention them," I said, "and I'll try to drink. I almost wish there was poison in this glass. My death here might bring justice upon you."
He shook his head, totally unmoved by my passion.
He shook his head, completely unaffected by my enthusiasm.
"We deal punishment, not receive it. It would not worry me in the least to leave you lying here upon the floor."
"We give out punishment, not take it. It wouldn’t bother me at all to leave you lying here on the floor."
I did not believe this, but I did not stop to weigh the question then; I was too much struck by a word he had used.
I didn't believe it, but I didn't take the time to think it over back then; I was too surprised by a word he used.
"Deal punishment?" I repeated. "Are you punishing me? Is that why I am here?"
"Punish me?" I repeated. "Are you punishing me? Is that why I'm here?"
He laughed and held out his glass to mine.
He laughed and clinked his glass against mine.
"You enjoy being sarcastic," he observed. "Well, it gives a spice to conversation, I own. Talk is apt to be dull without it."
"You enjoy being sarcastic," he noted. "Well, it adds some flavor to the conversation, I admit. Conversations can be pretty boring without it."
For reply I struck the glass from his hand; it fell and shivered, and he looked for the moment really distressed.
For my reply, I knocked the glass out of his hand; it fell and shattered, and for a moment he looked genuinely upset.
"I had rather you had struck me," he remarked, "for I have an answer for an injury like that; but for a broken glass——" He sighed and looked dolefully at the pieces on the floor.
"I'd prefer it if you had hit me," he said, "because I can respond to something like that; but for a broken glass——" He sighed and looked sadly at the shards on the floor.
Mortified and somewhat ashamed, I put down my own glass.
Mortified and a bit embarrassed, I set my glass down.
"You should not have exasperated me," I cried, and walked away beyond temptation, to the other side of the room.
"You shouldn't have frustrated me," I shouted, and walked away from temptation, to the other side of the room.
His spirits had received a dampener, but in a few minutes he seized upon a cigar and began smoking; as the wreaths curled over his head he began to talk, and this time it was on subjects totally foreign to myself and even to himself. It was good talk; that I recognized, though I hardly listened to what he said. I was asking myself what time it had now got to be, and what was the meaning of my incarceration, till my brain became weary and I could scarcely distinguish the topic he discussed. But he kept on for all my seeming, and indeed real, indifference, kept on hour after hour in a monologue he endeavored to make interesting, and which probably would have been so if the time and occasion had been fit for my enjoying it. As it was, I had no ear for choicest phrases, his subtlest criticisms, or his most philosophic disquisitions. I was wrapped up in self and my cruel disappointment, and when in a certain access of frenzy I leaped to my feet and took a look at the watch still lying on the table, and saw it was four o'clock in the morning, I gave a bound of final despair, and throwing myself on the floor, gave myself up to the heavy sleep that mercifully came to relieve me.
His mood had taken a hit, but after a few minutes, he grabbed a cigar and started smoking; as the smoke swirled above him, he began to talk, this time about topics that were completely unfamiliar to me and even to himself. It was good conversation; I recognized that, even though I hardly paid attention to what he was saying. I was wondering what time it was and what my confinement meant, until my mind grew tired and I could barely follow his discussion. But he kept going despite my apparent, and indeed genuine, indifference, continuing for hour after hour in a monologue he tried to make interesting, which probably would have been if the timing and situation had been right for me to enjoy it. As it was, I had no interest in his finest phrases, his most subtle criticisms, or his deepest philosophical insights. I was caught up in my own feelings and my painful disappointment. Then, in a fit of frustration, I jumped to my feet and glanced at the watch still lying on the table, only to see it was four o'clock in the morning. I let out a final, desperate sigh, throwing myself on the floor, and surrendered to the heavy sleep that thankfully came to rescue me.
I was roused by feeling a touch on my breast. Clapping my hand to the spot where I had felt the intruding hand, I discovered that my watch had been returned to my pocket. Drawing it out I first looked at it and then cast my eyes quickly about the room. There was no one with me, and the doors stood open between me and the hall. It was eight o'clock, as my watch had just told me.
I was awakened by a touch on my chest. I quickly placed my hand on the spot where I felt the hand, and realized my watch had been slipped back into my pocket. I pulled it out, checked the time, and then glanced around the room. There was no one else there, and the doors were wide open between me and the hallway. It was eight o'clock, just as my watch indicated.
That I rushed from the house and took the shortest road to the steamer, goes without saying. I could not cross the ocean with Dora, but I might yet see her and tell her how near I came to giving her my company on that long voyage which now would only serve to further the ends of my rival. But when, after torturing delays on cars and ferry-boats, and incredible efforts to pierce a throng that was equally determined not to be pierced, I at last reached the wharf, it was to behold her, just as I had fancied in my wildest moments, leaning on a rail of the ship and listening, while she abstractedly waved her hand to some friends below, to the words of the man who had never looked so handsome to me or so odious as at this moment of his unconscious triumph. Her father was near her, and from his eager attitude and rapidly wandering gaze I saw that he was watching for me. At last he spied me struggling aboard, and immediately his face lighted up in a way which made me wish he had not thought it necessary to wait for my anticipated meeting with his daughter.
That I rushed out of the house and took the quickest route to the boat goes without saying. I couldn’t cross the ocean with Dora, but I might still see her and let her know how close I came to joining her on that long journey, which now would only benefit my rival. But when I finally reached the dock, after agonizing delays on trains and ferries, and battling through a crowd that was just as determined to stay put, I found her exactly as I had imagined in my wildest dreams—leaning on the ship’s railing, listening, while she absentmindedly waved to some friends below, to the words of the man who had never looked so handsome or so repulsive to me as he did in that moment of his unknowing triumph. Her father was nearby, and from his eager posture and restless gaze, I could tell he was looking for me. Finally, he spotted me struggling to get on board, and his face lit up in a way that made me wish he hadn’t felt the need to wait for my expected reunion with his daughter.
"Ah, Dick, you are late," he began, effusively, as I put foot on deck.
"Hey, Dick, you're late," he started, warmly, as I stepped onto the deck.
But I waved him back and went at once to Dora.
But I waved him off and went straight to Dora.
"Forgive me, pardon me," I incoherently said, as her sweet eyes rose in startled pleasure to mine. "I would have brought you flowers, but I meant to sail with you, Dora, I tried to—but wretches, villains, prevented it and—and——"
"Forgive me, excuse me," I said, stumbling over my words, as her lovely eyes widened in surprised delight when they met mine. "I wanted to bring you flowers, but I meant to sail with you, Dora, I tried to—but those awful people stopped me and—and——"
"Oh, it does not matter," she said, and then blushed, probably because the words sounded unkind, "I mean——"
"Oh, it doesn't matter," she said, and then blushed, probably because the words sounded unkind, "I mean——"
But she could not say what she meant, for just then the bell rang for all visitors to leave, and her father came forward, evidently thinking all was right between us, smiled benignantly in her face, gave her a kiss and me a wink and disappeared in the crowd that was now rapidly going ashore.
But she couldn’t express what she meant, because just then the bell rang for all visitors to leave. Her father stepped forward, clearly thinking everything was fine between us, smiled warmly at her, kissed her, winked at me, and vanished into the crowd that was quickly heading ashore.
I felt that I must follow, but I gave her one look and one squeeze of the hand, and then as I saw her glances wander to his face, I groaned in spirit, stammered some words of choking sorrow and was gone, before her embarrassment would let her speak words, which I knew would only add to my grief and make this hasty parting unendurable.
I felt like I had to follow, but I gave her a quick look and a squeeze of her hand. As I saw her gaze shift to his face, I felt heavyhearted, stammered out some words of deep sorrow, and left before her embarrassment could let her say anything, knowing it would only increase my pain and make this sudden goodbye unbearable.
The look of amazement and chagrin with which her father met my reappearance on the dock can easily be imagined.
The look of shock and disappointment on her father's face when he saw me back on the dock is easy to picture.
"Why, Dick," he exclaimed, "aren't you going after all? I thought I could rely on you. Where's your plucky lad? Scared off by a frown? I wouldn't have believed it, Dick. What if she does frown to-day; she will smile to-morrow."
"Why, Dick," he exclaimed, "aren't you going after all? I thought I could count on you. Where's your brave spirit? Scared off by a frown? I wouldn't have believed it, Dick. So what if she frowns today; she'll smile tomorrow."
I shook my head; I could not tell him just then that it was not through any lack of pluck on my part that I had failed him.
I shook my head; I couldn't tell him right then that it wasn't because I lacked courage that I had let him down.
When I left the dock I went straight to a restaurant, for I was faint as well as miserable. But my cup of coffee choked me and the rolls and eggs were more than I could face. Rising impatiently, I went out. Was any one more wretched than I that morning and could any one nourish a more bitter grievance? As I strode towards my lodgings I chewed the cud of my disappointment till my wrongs loomed up like mountains and I was seized by a spirit of revenge. Should I let such an interference as I had received go unpunished? No, if the wretch who had detained me was not used to punishment he should receive a specimen of it now and from a man who was no longer a prisoner, and who once aroused did not easily forego his purposes. Turning aside from my former destination, I went immediately to a police-station and when I had entered my complaint was astonished to see that all the officials had grouped about me and were listening to my words with the most startled interest.
When I left the dock, I headed straight to a restaurant because I was both weak and miserable. But my cup of coffee choked me, and I couldn't handle the rolls and eggs. Frustrated, I got up and walked out. Was anyone more miserable than I was that morning, and could anyone hold a more bitter grievance? As I walked toward my place, I replayed my disappointment in my mind until my wrongs felt like mountains, and I was overtaken by a desire for revenge. Should I really let the interference I faced go unpunished? No, if the jerk who held me back was not used to consequences, he should get a taste of them now—from a man who was no longer a prisoner and, once fired up, wouldn’t easily give up his plans. Changing my course, I went straight to a police station, and when I walked in to file my complaint, I was shocked to see all the officials gathered around me, listening to my words with keen interest.
"Was the man who came for you a German?" one asked.
"Was the guy who came for you a German?" one asked.
I said "Yes."
I said "Yes."
"And the man who stood guardian over you and entertained you with wine and cigars, was not he a German too?"
"And the man who watched over you and entertained you with wine and cigars, wasn't he a German too?"
I nodded acquiescence and they at once began to whisper together; then one of them advanced to me and said:
I nodded in agreement, and they immediately started whispering to each other. Then, one of them came up to me and said:
"You have not been home, I understand; you had better come."
"You haven’t been home, I get it; you should come back."
Astonished by his manner I endeavored to inquire what he meant, but he drew me away, and not till we were within a stone's throw of my office did he say, "You must prepare yourself for a shock. The impertinences you suffered from last night were unpleasant no doubt, but if you had been allowed to return home, you might not now be deploring them in comparative peace and safety."
Astonished by his demeanor, I tried to ask him what he meant, but he pulled me away, and it wasn't until we were within a short distance of my office that he said, "You need to brace yourself for a shock. The rudeness you dealt with last night was certainly unpleasant, but if you had gone home, you might not be reflecting on them in relative peace and safety now."
"What do you mean?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"That your partner was not as fortunate as yourself. Look up at the house; what do you see there?"
"That your partner wasn't as lucky as you. Look up at the house; what do you see there?"
A crowd was what I saw first, but he made me look higher, and then I perceived that the windows of my room, of our room, were shattered and blackened and that part of the casement of one had been blown out.
A crowd was the first thing I noticed, but he made me look up, and then I saw that the windows of my room, our room, were shattered and blackened, and part of the frame of one had been blown out.
"A fire!" I shrieked. "Poor Richter was smoking——"
"A fire!" I yelled. "Poor Richter was smoking—"
"No, he was not smoking. He had no time for a smoke. An infernal machine burst in that room last night and your friend was its wretched victim."
"No, he wasn't smoking. He didn't have time for a smoke. An awful device exploded in that room last night, and your friend was its unfortunate victim."
I never knew why my friend's life was made a sacrifice to the revenge of his fellow-countrymen. Though we had been intimate in the year we had been together, he had never talked to me of his country and I had never seen him in company with one of his own nation. But that he was the victim of some political revenge was apparent, for though it proved impossible to find the man who had detained me, the house was found and ransacked, and amongst other secret things was discovered the model of the machine which had been introduced into our room, and which had proved so fatal to the man it was addressed to. Why men who were so relentless in their purposes towards him should have taken such pains to keep me from sharing his fate, is one of those anomalies in human nature which now and then awake our astonishment. If I had not lost Dora through my detention at their hands I should look back upon that evening with sensations of thankfulness. As it is, I sometimes question if it would not have been better if they had let me take my chances.
I never understood why my friend had to pay the price for the revenge of his fellow countrymen. Even though we were close during the year we spent together, he never talked about his homeland, and I never saw him with anyone from his own country. It was clear he was the target of some political vendetta because, although we couldn’t find the person who had detained me, the house was located and searched. Among other hidden items, they found the model of the machine that had been brought into our room and that turned out to be deadly for the person it was meant for. It’s one of those strange aspects of human nature that sometimes surprises us why those who were so determined to go after him made such an effort to keep me from sharing his fate. If I hadn’t lost Dora because of my detention, I would have looked back on that evening with gratitude. As it stands, I sometimes wonder if it would have been better if they’d just let me take my chances.
Have I lost Dora? From a letter I received to-day I begin to think not.
Have I lost Dora? From a letter I received today, I'm starting to think I haven't.
THE MAN FROM RED DOG
By ALFRED HENRY LEWIS
Copyright 1897 by Frederick A. Stokes Company.
Copyright 1897 by Frederick A. Stokes Company.
"Let me try one of them thar seegyars."
"Let me try one of those cigars."
It was the pleasant after-dinner hour, and I was on the veranda for a quiet smoke. The Old Cattleman had just thrown down his paper; the half-light of the waning sun was a bit too dim for his eyes of seventy years.
It was a nice after-dinner hour, and I was on the porch for a quiet smoke. The Old Cattleman had just tossed aside his newspaper; the fading light of the setting sun was a little too dim for his seventy-year-old eyes.
"Whenever I behold a seegyar," said the old fellow, as he puffed voluminously at the principe I passed over, "I thinks of what that witness says in the murder trial at Socorro.
"Whenever I see a seegyar," said the old guy, as he took a big puff from the principe I passed over, "I think of what that witness says in the murder trial in Socorro.
"'What was you-all doin' in camp yourse'f,' asked the jedge of this yere witness, 'the day of the killin'?'
"'What were you all doing in camp by yourself,' asked the judge of this witness, 'on the day of the killing?'"
"'Which,' says the witness, oncrossin' his laigs an' lettin' on he ain't made bashful an' oneasy by so much attentions bein' shown him, 'which I was a-eatin' of a few sardines, a-drinkin' of a few drinks of whiskey, a-smokin' of a few seegyars, an' a-romancin' 'round.'"
"'Which,' says the witness, crossing his legs and pretending he isn't bothered or uncomfortable by all the attention on him, 'I was eating a few sardines, having a few drinks of whiskey, smoking a few cigars, and just hanging out.'"
After this abrupt, not to say ambiguous reminiscence, the Old Cattleman puffed contentedly a moment.
After this sudden, if not unclear, memory, the Old Cattleman smiled to himself for a moment.
"What murder trial was this you speak of?" I asked. "Who had been killed?"
"What murder trial are you talking about?" I asked. "Who was killed?"
"Now I don't reckon I ever does know who it is gets downed," he replied. "This yere murder trial itse'f is news to me complete. They was waggin' along with it when I trails into Socorro that time, an' I merely sa'nters over to the co't that a-way to hear what's goin' on. The jedge is sorter gettin' in on the play while I'm listenin'.
"Well, I don't think I really know who got murdered," he replied. "This whole murder trial is news to me. They were already talking about it when I came into Socorro that time, and I just strolled over to the court to see what's happening. The judge is kind of involved in the situation while I'm listening."
"'What was the last words of this yere gent who's killed?' asked the jedge of this witness.
"'What were the last words of this year’s gentleman who was killed?' asked the judge of this witness."
"'As nearly as I keeps tabs, jedge,' says the witness, 'the dyin' statement of this person is: "Four aces to beat."
"'As far as I can tell, judge,' says the witness, 'the dying statement of this person is: "Four aces to beat."'
"'Which if deceased had knowed Socorro like I does,' says the jedge, like he's commentin' to himse'f, 'he'd shorely realized that sech remarks is simply sooicidal.'"
"'If he had known Socorro like I do,' says the judge, as if he’s talking to himself, 'he would surely have realized that such remarks are just suicidal.'"
Again the Old Cattleman relapsed into silence and the smoke of the principe.
Again, the Old Cattleman fell silent, and the smoke from the principe hung in the air.
"How did the trial come out?" I queried. "Was the accused found guilty?"
"How did the trial go?" I asked. "Was the accused found guilty?"
"Which the trial itse'f," he replied, "don't come out. Thar's a passel of the boys who's come into town to see that jestice is done, an' bein' the round-up is goin' for'ard at the time, they nacherally feels hurried an' pressed for leesure. They-alls oughter be back on the range with their cattle. So the fifth day, when things is loiterin' along at the trial till it looks like the law has hobbles on, an' the word goes round it's goin' to be a week yet before the jury gets action on this miscreant who's bein' tried, the boys becomes plumb aggravated an' wearied out that a-way; an', kickin' in the door of the calaboose, they searches out the felon, swings him to a cottonwood not otherwise engaged, an' the right prevails. Nacherally the trial bogs down right thar."
"Which the trial itself," he replied, "doesn't seem to move forward. There’s a whole bunch of guys who’ve come into town to make sure justice is served, and since the round-up is happening at the same time, they naturally feel rushed and short on free time. They should be back on the range with their cattle. So on the fifth day, when things are dragging along at the trial to the point where it looks like the law is stuck, and the word goes around that it's going to be another week before the jury takes action on this criminal who's being tried, the guys get completely frustrated and worn out; and, kicking in the door of the jail, they hunt down the criminal, hang him from a cottonwood that isn’t being used, and justice is served. Naturally, the trial comes to a halt right there."
After another season of silence and smoke, the Old Cattleman struck in again.
After another season of quiet and smoke, the Old Cattleman came back.
"Speakin' of killin's, while I'm the last gent to go fosterin' idees of bloodshed, I'm some discouraged jest now by what I've been readin' in that paper about a dooel between some Eytalians, an' it shorely tries me the way them aliens plays boss. It's obvious as stars on a cl'ar night, they never means fight a little bit. I abhors dooels, an' cowers from the mere idee. But, after all, business is business, an' when folks fights 'em the objects of the meetin' oughter be blood. But the way these yere European shorthorns fixes it, a gent shorely runs a heap more resk of becomin' a angel abrupt, attendin' of a Texas cake-walk in a purely social way.
"Speaking of killings, while I'm the last person to endorse ideas of bloodshed, I'm really discouraged right now by what I've been reading in that paper about a duel between some Italians, and it really frustrates me the way those foreigners act like they’re in charge. It's as clear as stars on a clear night that they don't actually intend to fight at all. I detest duels and shy away from even the idea of one. But, after all, business is business, and when people engage in them, the primary purpose should be bloodshed. But the way these European gentlemen handle it, a guy certainly runs a lot more risk of suddenly becoming an angel by attending a Texas cakewalk purely for social reasons."
"Do they ever fight dooels in the West? Why, yes—some. My mem'ry comes a-canterin' up right now with the details of an encounter I once beholds in Wolfville. Thar ain't no time much throwed away with a dooel in the Southwest. The people's mighty extemporaneous, an' don't go browsin' 'round none sendin' challenges in writin', an' that sort of flapdoodle. When a gent notices the signs a-gettin' about right for him to go on the war-path, he picks out his meat, surges up, an' declares himse'f. The victim, who is most likely a mighty serious an' experienced person, don't copper the play by makin' vain remarks, but brings his gatlin' into play surprisin'. Next it's bang! bang! bang! mixed up with flashes an' white smoke, an' the dooel is over complete. The gent who still adorns our midst takes a drink on the house, while St. Peter onbars things a lot an' arranges gate an' seat checks with the other in the realms of light. That's all thar is to it. The tide of life ag'in flows onward to the eternal sea, an' nary ripple.
"Do they ever have duels in the West? Why, yes—some do. My memory just came rushing back with the details of a fight I once saw in Wolfville. There's not much time wasted with a duel in the Southwest. People are quite spontaneous and don't waste time sending out written challenges and that sort of nonsense. When a guy feels the moment is right for him to go on the warpath, he picks his opponent, steps up, and declares himself. The victim, who is usually a serious and experienced person, doesn't react by making pointless remarks but instead surprises everyone by pulling out his weapon. Next, it's bang! bang! bang! mixed with flashes and white smoke, and the duel is over quickly. The person who remains in our midst takes a drink on the house, while St. Peter prepares things a lot and organizes entrance and seat checks for the other one in the afterlife. That's all there is to it. Life then flows onward to the eternal sea, without a ripple."
"Oh, this yere Wolfville dooel! Well, it's this a-way. The day is blazin' hot, an' business layin' prone an' dead—jest blistered to death. A passel of us is sorter pervadin' round the dance-hall, it bein' the biggest an' coolest store in camp. A monte game is strugglin' for breath in a feeble, fitful way in a corner, an' some of us is a-watch'in'; an' some a-settin' 'round loose a-thinkin'; but all keepin mum an' still, 'cause it's so hot.
"Oh, this place Wolfville is something else! Well, it’s like this. The day is scorching hot, and business is lying low and dead—just completely stifled. A group of us is hanging around the dance hall, which is the biggest and coolest spot in town. A monte game is barely hanging on in a corner, and some of us are watching; some are sitting around, lost in thought; but everyone is keeping quiet and still because of the heat."
"Jest then some gent on a hoss goes whoopin' up the street a-yellin' an' a-whirlin' the loop of his rope, an' allowin' generally he's havin' a mighty good time.
"Just then, a guy on a horse comes riding up the street, shouting and swinging his lasso, acting like he's having a really good time."
"'Who's this yere toomultuous man on the hoss?' says Enright, a-regardin' of him in a displeased way from the door.
"'Who's this noisy guy on the horse?' Enright asks, looking at him disapprovingly from the door."
"'I meets him up the street a minute back,' says Dan Boggs, 'an' he allows he's called "The Man from Red Dog." He says he's took a day off to visit us, an' aims to lay waste the camp some before he goes back.'
"'I met him up the street a minute ago,' says Dan Boggs, 'and he says he's called "The Man from Red Dog." He claims he took a day off to visit us, and plans to wreak some havoc in the camp before he heads back.'"
"About then the Red Dog man notes old Santa Rosa, who keeps the Mexican baile hall, an' his old woman, Marie, a-fussin' with each other in front of the New York Store. They's locked horns over a drink or something an' is powwowin' mighty onamiable.
"About that time, the Red Dog man notices old Santa Rosa, who runs the Mexican baile hall, and his wife, Marie, bickering a bit in front of the New York Store. They’re locked in an argument over a drink or something and are chatting quite amicably."
"'Whatever does this yere Mexican fam'ly mean,' says the Red Dog man, a-surveyin' of 'em plenty scornful, 'a-draggin' of their domestic brawls out yere to offend a sufferin' public for? Whyever don't they stay in their wickeyup an' fight, an' not take to puttin' it all over the American race which ain't in the play' none an' don't thirst tharfor? However, I unites an' reeconciles this divided household easy.'
"'What does this Mexican family think they're doing?' says the Red Dog man, looking at them with plenty of scorn. 'Why are they dragging their domestic fights out here to offend the suffering public? Why don't they stay in their home and argue, instead of involving everyone else who has nothing to do with it and doesn't want to see it? But still, I can bring this divided household together pretty easily.'"
"With this the Red Dog man drops the loop of his lariat round the two contestants an' jumps his bronco up the street like it's come outen a gun. Of course Santa Rosa an' Marie goes along on their heads permiscus.
"With that, the Red Dog guy throws the loop of his lasso around the two contestants and jumps his horse up the street like it's been shot out of a cannon. Of course, Santa Rosa and Marie go along, upside down."
"They goes coastin' along ontil they gets pulled into a mesquite-bush, an' the rope slips offen the saddle, an' thar they be. We-alls goes over from the dance-hall, extricatin' of 'em, an' final they rounds up mighty hapless an' weak, an' can only walk. They shorely lose enough hide to make a pair of leggin's.
"They're going along until they get caught in a mesquite bush, and the rope slips off the saddle, and there they are. We all go over from the dance hall to get them out, and in the end, they are really hapless and weak, and can only walk. They've definitely lost enough skin to make a pair of leggings."
"'Which I brings 'em together like twins,' says the Red Dog man, ridin' back for his rope. 'I offers two to one, no limit, they don't fight none whatever for a month.'
"'Which brings them together like twins,' says the Red Dog guy, riding back for his rope. 'I’m betting two to one, no limit, that they won't fight at all for a month.'"
"Which, as it shorely looks like he's right, no one takes him. So the Red Dog man leaves his bluff a-hangin' an' goes into the dance-hall, a-givin' of it out cold an' clammy he meditates libatin'.
"Which, as it definitely seems like he’s right, no one believes him. So the Red Dog guy leaves his bluff and heads into the dance hall, giving off a cold and clammy vibe as he thinks about drinking."
"'All promenade to the bar,' yells the Red Dog man as he goes in. 'I'm a wolf, an' it's my night to howl. Don't 'rouse me, barkeep, with the sight of merely one bottle; set 'em all up. I'm some fastidious about my fire-water an' likes a chance to select.'
"'Everyone head to the bar,' yells the Red Dog guy as he walks in. 'I'm a wolf, and it's my night to howl. Don't bother me, bartender, with just one bottle; put them all out. I’m pretty particular about my drinks and like a chance to choose.'"
"Well, we-alls takes our inspiration, an' the Red Dog man tucks his onder his belt an' then turns round to Enright.
"Well, we all draw our inspiration, and the Red Dog guy puts his under his belt and then turns to Enright."
"'I takes it you're the old he-coon of this yere outfit?' says the Red Dog man, soopercilious-like.
"'I guess you're the old he-coon of this place?' says the Red Dog guy, sounding really self-important."
"'Which, if I ain't,' says Enright, 'it's plenty safe as a play to let your wisdom flow this a-way till the he-coon gets yere.'
"'Which, if I'm not,' says Enright, 'it's definitely safe to let your wisdom flow this way until the raccoon gets here.'"
"'If thar's anythin',' says the Red Dog man, 'I turns from sick, it's voylence an' deevastation. But I hears sech complaints constant of this yere camp of Wolfville, I takes my first idle day to ride over an' line things up. Now yere I be, an' while I regrets it, I finds you-alls is a lawless, onregenerate set, a heap sight worse than roomer. I now takes the notion—for I sees no other trail—that by next drink time I climbs into the saddle, throws my rope 'round this den of sin, an' removes it from the map.'
"'If there's anything,' says the Red Dog man, 'that really makes me sick, it's violence and destruction. But I hear so many complaints about this camp in Wolfville that I took my first free day to ride over and sort things out. Now here I am, and while I regret it, I find that you all are a lawless, unredeemable bunch, much worse than the rumors say. I've decided—since I see no other way—that by the next time we drink, I'm going to saddle up, throw my rope around this den of iniquity, and remove it from the map.'"
"'Nacherally,' says Enright, some sarcastic, 'in makin' them schemes you ain't lookin' for no trouble whatever with a band of tarrapins like us.'
"'Naturally,' says Enright, somewhat sarcastic, 'when you're making those plans, you're not looking for any trouble with a bunch of turtles like us.'"
"'None whatever,' says the Red Dog man, mighty confident. 'In thirty minutes I distributes this yere hamlet 'round in the landscape same as them Greasers; which feat becomin' hist'ry, I then canters back to Red Dog.'
"'None at all,' says the Red Dog man, feeling very sure of himself. 'In thirty minutes, I'll spread this little hamlet around the area just like those Greasers; once that’s done, I’ll ride back to Red Dog.'"
"'Well,' says Enright, 'it's plenty p'lite to let us know what's comin' this a-way.'
"'Well,' says Enright, 'it's really polite of you to let us know what's coming this way.'"
"'Oh! I ain't tellin' you none,' says the Red Dog man, 'I simply lets fly this hint, so any of you-alls as has got bric-a-brac he values speshul, he takes warnin' some an' packs it off all safe.'
"'Oh! I'm not telling you anything,' says the Red Dog man, 'I'm just dropping this hint, so if any of you who have valuable trinkets, you take this warning and pack them up safely.'"
"It's about then when Cherokee Hall, who's lookin' on, shoulders in between Enright an' the Red Dog man, mighty positive. Cherokee is a heap sot in his idees, an' I sees right off he's took a notion ag'in the Red Dog man.
"It's at this point that Cherokee Hall, who's watching, steps in between Enright and the Red Dog guy, looking very determined. Cherokee is pretty set in his opinions, and I can tell right away that he's taken a dislike to the Red Dog man."
"'As you've got a lot of work cut out,' says Cherokee, eyein' the Red Dog man malignant, 's'pose we tips the canteen ag'in.'
"'Since you have a lot of work ahead of you,' says Cherokee, glaring at the Red Dog man, 'how about we hit the canteen again?'"
"'I shorely goes you,' says the Red Dog man. 'I drinks with friend, an' I drinks with foe; with the pard of my bosom an' the shudderin' victim of my wrath all sim'lar.'
"'I surely go with you,' says the Red Dog man. 'I drink with friends, and I drink with enemies; with the partner of my heart and the trembling victim of my anger, all the same.'"
"Cherokee turns out a big drink an' stands a-holdin' of it in his hand. I wants to say right yere, this Cherokee's plenty guileful.
"Cherokee pours a big drink and holds it in his hand. I want to say right here, this Cherokee is very clever."
"'You was namin',' says Cherokee, 'some public improvements you aims to make; sech as movin' this yere camp 'round some, I believes?'
"'You were naming,' says Cherokee, 'some public improvements you intend to make; such as moving this camp around a bit, I believe?'"
"'That's whatever,' says the Red Dog man, 'an' the holycaust I 'nitiates is due to start in fifteen minutes.'
"'That's whatever,' says the Red Dog guy, 'and the chaos I initiate is about to start in fifteen minutes.'"
"'I've been figgerin' on you,' says Cherokee, 'an' I gives you the result in strict confidence without holdin' out a kyard. When you-all talks of tearin' up Wolfville, you're a liar an' a hoss-thief, an' you ain't goin' to tear up nothin'.'
"'I've been thinking about you,' says Cherokee, 'and I'm giving you the result in strict confidence without holding back anything. When you talk about tearing up Wolfville, you're lying and you're a horse thief, and you're not going to tear up anything.'"
"'What's this I hears!' yells the frenzied Red Dog man, reachin' for his gun.
"'What's this I hear!' yells the frantic Red Dog man, reaching for his gun.
"But he never gets it, for the same second Cherokee spills the glass of whiskey straight in his eyes, an' the next he's anguished an' blind as a mole.
"But he never understands it, because in the same instant Cherokee spills the glass of whiskey right in his eyes, and the next he's suffering and blind as a mole."
"'I'll fool this yere human simoon up a lot,' says Cherokee, a-hurlin' of the Red Dog man to the floor, face down, while his nine-inch bowie shines in his hand like the sting of a wasp. 'I shore fixes him so he can't get a job clerkin' in a store,' an' grabbin' the Red Dog man's ha'r, which is long as the mane of a pony, he slashes it off close in one motion.
"I'll trick this stupid guy good," says Cherokee, throwing the Red Dog man to the floor, face down, while his nine-inch knife shines in his hand like a wasp's sting. "I'll make sure he can't get a job working in a store," and grabbing the Red Dog man's hair, which is as long as a pony's mane, he cuts it off in one quick motion.
"'Thar's a fringe for your leggin's, Nell,' remarks Cherokee, a-turnin' of the crop over to Faro Nell. 'Now, Doc,' Cherokee goes on to Doc Peets, 'take this yere Red Dog stranger over to the Red Light, fix his eyes all right, an' then tell him, if he thinks he needs blood in this, to take his Winchester an' go north in the middle of the street. In twenty minutes by the watch I steps outen the dance-hall door a-lookin' for him. P'int him to the door all fair an' squar'. I don't aim to play nothin' low on this yere gent. He gets a chance for his ante.'
"'There's a fringe for your leggings, Nell,' Cherokee says, handing the crop over to Faro Nell. 'Now, Doc,' Cherokee continues to Doc Peets, 'take this Red Dog stranger over to the Red Light, fix his eyes up right, and then tell him, if he thinks he needs blood in this, to take his Winchester and head north down the street. In twenty minutes by the watch, I’ll step out of the dance hall door looking for him. Point him to the door nice and fair. I'm not planning to play anything underhanded with this guy. He gets a fair chance for his ante.'"
"Doc Peets sorter accoomilates the Red Dog man, who is cussin' an' carryin' on scandalous, an' leads him over to the Red Light. In a minute word comes to Cherokee as his eyes is roundin' up all proper, an' that he's makin' war-medicine an' is growin' more hostile constant, an' to heel himse'f. At that Cherokee, mighty ca'm, sends out for Jack Moore's Winchester, which is an 'eight-squar',' latest model.
"Doc Peets' sorter deals with the Red Dog guy, who is cursing and causing a scene, and leads him over to the Red Light. In a moment, word reaches Cherokee as his eyes are widening properly, and he's preparing for a fight and becoming increasingly aggressive, and to pull himself together. At that, Cherokee, very calm, sends for Jack Moore's Winchester, which is an 'eight-square,' the latest model."
"'Oh, Cherokee!' says Faro Nell, beginnin' to cry, an' curlin' her arms 'round his neck. 'I'm 'fraid he's goin' to down you. Ain't thar no way to fix it? Can't Dan yere settle with this Red Dog man?'
"'Oh, Cherokee!' says Faro Nell, starting to cry and wrapping her arms around his neck. 'I'm scared he's going to take you down. Isn’t there any way to fix this? Can’t Dan here settle things with this Red Dog guy?'"
"'Cert,' says Dan Boggs, 'an' I makes the trip too gleeful. Jest to spar' Nell's feelin's, Cherokee, an' not to interfere with no gent's little game, I takes your hand an' plays it.'
"'Sure,' says Dan Boggs, 'and I make the trip way too cheerful. Just to spare Nell's feelings, Cherokee, and not to mess with any guy's little game, I take your hand and play it.'"
"'Not none,' says Cherokee; 'this is my deal. Don't cry, Nellie,' he adds, smoothin' down her yaller ha'r. 'Folks in my business has to hold themse'fs ready to face any game on the word, an' they never weakens or lays down. An' another thing, little girl; I gets this Red Dog sharp shore. I'm in the middle of a run of luck; I holds fours twice last night, with a flush an' a full hand out ag'in 'em.'
"'Not none,' says Cherokee; 'this is my deal. Don’t cry, Nellie,' he adds, smoothing her yellow hair. 'People in my business have to be ready to face any situation at a moment’s notice, and they never back down or give up. And another thing, little girl; I'm definitely going to get this Red Dog sharp. I’m on a lucky streak; I had four-of-a-kind twice last night, with a flush and a full house against them.'
"Nell at last lets go of Cherokee's neck, an', bein' a female an' timid that a-way, allows she'll go, an' won't stop to see the shootin' none. We applauds the idee, thinkin' she might shake Cherokee some if she stays; an' of course a gent out shootin' for his life needs his nerve.
"Nell finally releases Cherokee's neck, and being a timid woman, decides to leave and won’t stay to watch the shooting at all. We support her decision, thinking she might distract Cherokee if she sticks around; and of course, a guy out shooting for his life needs to keep his confidence."
"Well, the twenty minutes is up; the Red Dog man gets his rifle offen his saddle an' goes down the middle of the street. Turnin' up his big sombrero, he squares 'round, cocks his gun, an' waits. Then Enright goes out with Cherokee an' stands him in the street about a hundred yards from the Red Dog man. After Cherokee's placed he holds up his hand for attention an' says:
"Well, the twenty minutes are up; the Red Dog guy takes his rifle off his saddle and walks down the middle of the street. Lifting his big sombrero, he turns around, cocks his gun, and waits. Then Enright steps out with Cherokee and positions him in the street about a hundred yards from the Red Dog guy. After Cherokee is set up, he raises his hand for attention and says:
"'When all is ready I stands to one side an' drops my hat. You-alls fires at will.'
"'When everything is set, I stand to one side and drop my hat. You all can fire at will.'"
"Enright goes over to the side of the street, counts 'one,' 'two,' 'three,' an' drops his hat. Bangety! Bang! Bang! goes the rifles like the roll of a drum. Cherokee can work a Winchester like one of these yere Yankee 'larm-clocks, an' that Red Dog hold-up don't seem none behind.
"Enright walks to the side of the street, counts 'one,' 'two,' 'three,' and drops his hat. Bang! Bang! Bang! goes the rifles like the roll of a drum. Cherokee can handle a Winchester like one of these Yankee alarm clocks, and that Red Dog hold-up doesn’t seem to fall behind at all."
"About the fifth fire the Red Dog man sorter steps for'ard an' drops his gun; an' after standin' onsteady for a second, he starts to cripplin' down at his knees. At last he comes ahead on his face like a landslide. Thar's two bullets plum through his lungs, an' when we gets to him the red froth is comin' outen his mouth some plenteous.
"About the fifth fire, the Red Dog man sorter steps forward and drops his gun; and after standing unsteady for a second, he starts to crumple down to his knees. Finally, he falls face first like a landslide. There are two bullets right through his lungs, and when we get to him, red froth is coming out of his mouth in large amounts."
"We packs him back into the Red Light an' lays him onto a monte-table. Bimeby he comes to a little an' Peets asks him whatever he thinks he wants.
"We pack him back into the Red Light and lay him on a monte-table. After a while, he comes to a little and Peets asks him what he thinks he wants."
"'I wants you-alls to take off my moccasins an' pack me into the street,' says the Red Dog man. 'I ain't allowin' for my old mother in Missoury to be told as how I dies in no gin-mill, which she shorely 'bominates of 'em. An' I don't die with no boots on, neither.'
"'I want you all to take off my moccasins and carry me into the street,' says the Red Dog man. 'I won’t let my old mother in Missouri hear that I died in some bar, which she definitely hates. And I’m not dying with any boots on, either.'"
"We-alls packs him back into the street ag'in, an' pulls away at his boots. About the time we gets 'em off he sags back convulsive, an' thar he is as dead as Santa Anna.
"We all pack him back into the street again and pull at his boots. By the time we get them off, he sags back convulsively, and there he is as dead as Santa Anna."
"'What sort of a game is this, anyhow?' says Dan Boggs, who, while we stands thar, has been pawin' over the Red Dog man's rifle. 'Looks like this vivacious party's plumb locoed. Yere's his hind-sights wedged up for a thousand yards, an' he's been a-shootin' of cartridges with a hundred an' twenty grains of powder into 'em. Between the sights an' the jump of the powder, he's shootin' plumb over Cherokee an' aimin' straight at him.'
"'What kind of game is this, anyway?' says Dan Boggs, who, while we're standing there, has been fiddling with the Red Dog guy's rifle. 'It looks like this lively character's completely lost it. Here are his sights adjusted for a thousand yards, and he's been firing off cartridges loaded with a hundred and twenty grains of powder. Between the sights and the kick of the powder, he’s shooting way over Cherokee and aiming right at him.'"
"'Nellie,' says Enright, lookin' remorseful at the girl, who colors up an' begins to cry agin, 'did you cold-deck this yere Red Dog sport this a-way?'
"'Nellie,' says Enright, looking regretful at the girl, who blushes and starts to cry again, 'did you set up this Red Dog player like this?'"
"'I'm 'frald,' sobs Nell, 'he gets Cherokee; so I slides over when you-alls is waitin' an' fixes his gun some.'
"'I'm scared,' sobs Nell, 'he gets Cherokee; so I slide over when you all are waiting and fix his gun a bit.'"
"'Which I should shorely concede you did,' says Enright. 'The way that Red Dog gent manipulates his weepon shows he knows his game; an' except for you a-settin' things up on him, I'm powerful afraid he'd spoiled Cherokee a whole lot.'
"'I definitely admit you did,' says Enright. 'The way that Red Dog guy handles his weapon shows he knows what he's doing; and if it weren't for you setting things up for him, I'm really afraid he would have messed up Cherokee quite a bit.'"
"'Well, gents,' goes on Enright, after thinkin' a while, 'I reckons we-alls might as well drink on it. Hist'ry never shows a game yet, an' a woman in it, which is on the squar', an' we meekly b'ars our burdens with the rest.'"
"'Well, guys,' Enright continues after thinking for a bit, 'I guess we might as well drink to it. History has never shown a game yet, and a woman in it, that was fair, and we quietly bear our burdens like everyone else.'"
JEAN MICHAUD'S LITTLE SHIP
By CHARLES G. D. ROBERTS
Reprinted, by permission of the author, from "The Saturday Evening Post." All rights reserved.
Reprinted with permission from the author, from "The Saturday Evening Post." All rights reserved.
Patiently, doggedly, yet with the light in his eyes that belongs to the enthusiast and the dreamer, young Jean Michaud had worked at it. Throughout the winter he had hewed the seasoned timbers and the diminutive hackmatack "knees" from the swamp far back in the Equille Valley; and whenever the sledding was good with his yoke of black oxen he had hauled his materials to the secret place of his shipbuilding by the winding shore of a deep tidal tributary of the Port Royal. In the spring he had laid the keel and riveted securely to it the squared hackmatack knees. It was unusual to use such sturdy and unmanageable timbers as these hackmatack knees for a craft so small as this which the young Acadian was building; but Jean Michaud's thoughts were long thoughts and went far ahead. He was putting all his hopes as well as all his scant patrimony into this little ship; and he was resolved that it should be strong to carry his fortunes.
Patiently and with determination, yet with the spark in his eyes that comes from being an enthusiast and a dreamer, young Jean Michaud had worked on his project. Throughout the winter, he had chopped the seasoned timbers and the small hackmatack "knees" from the swamp deep in the Equille Valley. Whenever the conditions were right, he would haul his materials to his secret shipbuilding spot along the winding shore of a deep tidal tributary of Port Royal with his team of black oxen. In the spring, he laid the keel and securely attached the squared hackmatack knees to it. Using such strong and unwieldy timbers for a boat as small as the one he was building was uncommon, but Jean Michaud's ambitions were expansive and forward-thinking. He was investing all his hopes and limited inheritance into this little ship; he was determined that it would be strong enough to carry his future.
Through all the green and blue and golden Acadian summer he had toiled joyously at bending the thin planks and riveting them soundly to the ribs, the stem and the sternpost. It was hot work, but white and savory, the clean spruce planks that he wrought with breathing sweet scents to his lungs as adze and chisel and saw set free the tonic spirit of their fibres. His chips soon spread a yellow carpet over the mossy sward and the tree-roots. The yellow sides of his graceful craft presently arose high among the green kissing branches of the water-ash and Indian pear. The tawny golden shimmering current of the creek lipped up at high tide close under the stern of the little ship and set afloat the lowest layers of the chips; while at ebb a gleaming abyss of red mud with walls sloping sharply to a mere rivulet at their foot seemed to tempt the structure to a premature launching and a wild swooping rush to oozy doom. Very secluded, far apart from beaten highway or forest byway, and quite aside from all the river traffic, was the place of Jean Michaud's shipbuilding. And so it came about that the clear ringing blows of his adze, the sharp staccato of his diligent hammer and the strident crying of his saw brought no answer but the chatter of the striped chipmunks among the near tree-roots, or the scolding of the garrulous and inquisitive red squirrels from the branches overhead. At the quiet of the noon hour, while Jean lay in the shade contemplating his handiwork, and weaving his many-colored dreams, and munching his brown-bread cakes and pale cheese, the clucking partridge hen would lead her brood out to investigate the edges of the chip-strewn open, where insects gathered in the heat. And afterward, when once more Jean's hammering set up its brisk and cheerful echoes, the big golden-wing woodpeckers would promptly accept the sound as a challenge, and begin an emulous rat-tat-tat-tat-ting on the resonant sound-board of a dead beech not far off.
Through the vibrant greens, blues, and golds of the Acadian summer, he worked happily, shaping the thin planks and fastening them securely to the ribs, stem, and sternpost. It was hard work, but refreshing, as the clean spruce planks filled his lungs with sweet scents while the adze, chisel, and saw released the lively spirit of their fibers. His wood chips quickly covered the mossy ground and tree roots like a yellow carpet. The bright sides of his sleek boat soon rose high among the leafy branches of the water-ash and Indian pear trees. The shimmering current of the creek lapped at high tide right under the stern of the little ship, carrying away the lowest layers of chips, while at low tide, a shining expanse of red mud with steep walls sloping down to a tiny stream seemed to tempt the craft into an early launch and a wild plunge into the muddy depths. Tucked away, far from the beaten paths and river traffic, was the site of Jean Michaud's boat building. As a result, the clear, ringing sounds of his adze, the sharp rhythm of his hammer, and the loud cries of his saw brought no response other than the chatter of striped chipmunks among the nearby tree roots or the scolding of curious red squirrels from the branches above. During the quiet of noon, while Jean rested in the shade, admiring his work, dreaming colorful dreams, and munching on his brown-bread cakes and pale cheese, a partridge hen would lead her chicks out to explore the edges of the chip-covered clearing, where insects gathered in the heat. Later, when Jean's hammering resumed its lively echoes, the big golden-winged woodpeckers would immediately take it as a challenge and start their own rapid rat-tat-tat-tat on the hollow trunk of a dead beech nearby.
By the time the partridge brood had taken to whirring up into the maple branches when alarmed, instead of scurrying to cover in the underbrush, the hull was completed; and a smell of smoking pitch drowned the woodsy odors as Jean calked the seams. Then the pale yellow of the timbers no more shone through the reddening leafage, but a sombre black bulk loomed impressively above the chips, daunting the squirrels for a few days with its strange shadow. By the time of the moose-calling, when the rowan-berries hung in great scarlet bunches and half the red leafage was turning brown, and the pale gold birch leaves fell in fluttering showers at every gust, two slim masts had raised their tops above the trees, and a white bowsprit was thrusting its nose into the branches of the nearest red maple. Under the bowsprit glittered a carved and gilded Madonna, the most auspicious figurehead to which, in Jean's eyes, he could intrust the fortunes of his handiwork. A few days more and the ship was done—so nearly complete that three or four hours of work would make her ready for sea. Being so small, it was feasible to launch her in this advanced state of equipment; and the conditions under which she had been built made it necessary that she should be prepared to hurry straight from the greased ways of the launching to the security of the open sea. The tidal creek in which she would first take water could give her no safe harborage; and once out of the creek she would have to make all speed, under cover of night, till Port Royal River and the sodded ramparts of Annapolis town should be left many miles astern.
By the time the partridge chicks had learned to flutter up into the maple branches when scared, instead of hiding in the underbrush, the hull was finished; the smell of burning pitch overshadowed the forest scents as Jean sealed the seams. The pale yellow wood no longer shone through the reddening leaves, but a dark, heavy shape loomed impressively above the wood chips, intimidating the squirrels for a few days with its unusual shadow. By the time the moose were calling, when the rowan berries hung in bright red clusters and half the red leaves were turning brown, and the pale gold birch leaves were falling in fluttering showers with every breeze, two slender masts had risen above the trees, and a white bowsprit was poking its nose into the branches of the nearest red maple. Under the bowsprit sparkled a carved and gilded Madonna, the most favorable figurehead that, in Jean's opinion, he could trust with the fate of his creation. Just a few days later, the ship was finished—so close to completion that three or four hours of work would make her ready to sail. Being small, it was possible to launch her in this advanced stage of readiness; and the circumstances under which she had been built meant that she needed to be prepared to head straight from the greased launch ways to the safety of the open sea. The tidal creek where she would first take on water wouldn't provide any safe shelter; and once out of the creek, she would have to make all haste, under the cover of night, until Port Royal River and the grassy ramparts of Annapolis town were left many miles behind.
Having made his preparations and gathered his materials far ahead, and devised his precautions with subtlety, and accustomed his neighbors to the idea that he was an erratic youth, given to long absences and futile schemes, not worth gossip, Jean had succeeded in keeping his enterprise a secret from all but two persons. These two, deep in his counsel's from the first, were Barbe Dieudonné, his sweetheart, and Mich' Masson, his friend and ally.
Having gotten everything ready in advance, gathered his supplies early, planned his precautions cleverly, and got his neighbors used to the idea that he was an unpredictable young man known for long disappearances and pointless projects, which weren't worth talking about, Jean managed to keep his venture a secret from all but two people. These two, who were in on his plans from the start, were Barbe Dieudonné, his girlfriend, and Mich' Masson, his friend and supporter.
Mich' Masson—whose home, which served him best as a place to stay away from, was in the village of Grand Pré, far up on the Basin of Minas—had been Jean's close friend since early boyhood, in the days before Port Royal town had been captured by the English and found its name changed to Annapolis. He was a daring adventurer, hunter, woods-ranger, an implacable partisan of the French cause, and just now deeply interested in the traffic between Acadie and the new French fortress city of Louisburg—a traffic which the English Governor was angrily determined to break up. Mich' Masson could sail a ship as well as set a dead-fall or lay an ambush. He had kept bright in Jean's heart the flame of hatred against the English conquerors of Acadie. It was he who had come to the aid of Jean's shipbuilding from time to time, when timbers had to be put in place which were too heavy for one pair of hands to work with. It was, indeed, at his suggestion that Jean had finally decided to sell his cottage on the outskirts of Annapolis town, his scrap of upland with its apple trees in full bearing, his strip of rich dike-land with its apple trees in full bearing, his strip of rich dike-forbidden traffic—and to settle under the walls of Louisburg, where the flag he loved should always wave over his roof-tree. It was Mich' Masson who had shown Jean how by this course he could quickly grow rich, and make a home for Barbe which that somewhat disconcerting and incomprehensible maiden would not scorn to accept. Mich' Masson loved his own honor. He loved Jean. He hated the English. Jean's secret was safe with him.
Mich' Masson—whose home, which he preferred to avoid, was in the village of Grand Pré, far up on the Minas Basin—had been Jean's close friend since they were kids, back in the days before Port Royal was taken by the English and renamed Annapolis. He was a bold adventurer, a hunter, and a woodsman, fiercely loyal to the French cause, and right now, he was heavily involved in the trade between Acadie and the new French fortress city of Louisburg—a trade that the English Governor wanted to shut down. Mich' Masson could sail a ship as well as set a trap or ambush. He had kept the fire of hatred against the English conquerors of Acadie burning brightly in Jean’s heart. It was he who had helped Jean with shipbuilding whenever he needed extra hands to lift heavy timbers. In fact, it was Mich' Masson who suggested that Jean should sell his cottage on the outskirts of Annapolis, along with his piece of upland with apple trees in full bloom, and his strip of rich dike-land—and move closer to the walls of Louisburg, where the flag he loved would always fly over his home. Mich' Masson showed Jean how this move could help him get rich quickly and create a home for Barbe that the somewhat confusing and elusive young woman wouldn’t refuse. Mich' Masson valued his own honor, cared for Jean, and despised the English. Jean's secret was safe with him.
Mademoiselle Barbe, under a disguise of indifference which sometimes reduced Jean to the not unprofitable condition wherein hard work is the sole refuge from despair, hid a passionate interest in her lover's undertaking. She, too, hated the new domination. She, too, chafed to escape from Annapolis and take up life anew under her old Flag of the Fleur-de-lis. Moreover, her restless and fiery spirit could accept no contented tiller of green Acadian acres for a mate; and she was resolved that Jean's courageous heart and stirring dreams should translate themselves into action. She would have him not only the daring dreamer but the daring doer—the successful smuggler, the shrewd foiler of the English watch-dogs, the admired and consulted partisan leader. That he had it in him to be all these things she felt utterly convinced; but she proposed that the debilitating effects of too much happiness should have no chance of postponing his success. Her keen watchfulness detected every weak spot in Jean's enterprise, every unguarded point in his secret; and her two-edged mockery, which seemed as careless and inconsequent as the wind, at once accomplished the effects she had in view. Her fickleness of mood, her bewildering caprice, were the iridescent foam-bubbles veiling a deep and steady current. She knew that she loved Jean's love for her, of which she felt as certain as dawn does of the sunrise. She had a suspicion in the deep of her heart that she might be in love with Jean himself; but of this she was in no haste to be assured. She was loyal in every fibre. And Jean's secret was safe with her.
Mademoiselle Barbe, pretending to be indifferent in a way that sometimes pushed Jean into the not-unprofitable state where hard work is the only escape from despair, secretly cared deeply about her lover's endeavors. She too despised the new authority. She longed to leave Annapolis and start fresh under her old Flag of the Fleur-de-lis. Furthermore, her restless and fiery spirit wouldn't tolerate a complacent farmer from the green Acadian fields as a partner; she was determined that Jean's brave heart and inspiring dreams should turn into action. She wanted him to be not just the daring dreamer but also the daring doer—the successful smuggler, the clever outsmarting of the English watchdogs, the respected and consulted leader of a faction. She was completely convinced he had it in him to be all these things, but she wanted to ensure that the draining effects of too much happiness wouldn't delay his success. Her sharp watchfulness noticed every weakness in Jean's plans, every unguarded aspect of his secret; and her biting teasing, which seemed casual and aimless like the wind, effectively achieved her goals. Her unpredictable moods and baffling whims were the shimmering bubbles hiding a strong undercurrent. She knew she loved Jean's love for her, feeling as certain of it as dawn is of the sunrise. Deep down, she suspected she might be in love with Jean himself, but she wasn't in a rush to confirm this. She was loyal in every fiber of her being. And Jean's secret was safe with her.
Thus the wonder came to pass that Jean's secret, though known to three people, yet remained so long a secret. Had the English Governor, behind his sodded ramparts overlooking the tide, got wind of it, never would Jean Michaud's little ship have sailed the open, save with an English captain and an English crew. It would have been confiscated, on the not unreasonable presumption that it was intended for the forbidden trade.
Thus the amazing thing happened that Jean's secret, although known to three people, still remained a secret for so long. If the English Governor, behind his muddy walls overlooking the tide, had caught wind of it, Jean Michaud's little ship would never have sailed freely unless it had an English captain and an English crew. It would have been seized, based on the not unreasonable assumption that it was meant for the illegal trade.
Early in the afternoon, on a day of mid-October, Jean stepped down the ladder which leaned against the starboard bow of his ship, and contemplated with satisfaction the name, "Mon Rêve," which he had just painted in strong, gold lettering. The exultation in his eyes became a passion of love and worship, as he turned to the slim girl who lay curled up luxuriously on a sweet-smelling pile of dried ferns and marsh-grass, watching him.
Early in the afternoon on a mid-October day, Jean climbed down the ladder that was propped against the starboard bow of his ship and admired the name "Mon Rêve," which he had just painted in bold, gold letters. The joy in his eyes turned into a deep affection and admiration as he glanced at the slender girl lounging comfortably on a fragrant pile of dried ferns and marsh grass, observing him.
"Since you won't let me name her directly after you, that is the nearest I can come to it, Barbe," he said. "You can't find fault with that. You are my dream—and all else besides."
"Since you won't let me name her after you, that's the closest I can get, Barbe," he said. "You can't complain about that. You are my dream—and everything else too."
For a moment she watched him in silence. Her figure was of a childish slenderness, and there was a childish abandon in her attitude. The small hands crossed idly in her lap were very dark and thin and long-fingered, with rosy nails. She was dressed in skirt and bodice of the creamy Acadian homespun linen, the skirt reaching not quite to her slim ankles. Her mouth was full and red, half sorrowful, half mocking. Her face, small and rather thin, was tanned to a clear, dark brown, and of a type that suggested a strain of the ancient blood of the Basques. The thick black masses of her hair, with a rebel wave in them, and here and there a glint of flame, half covered her little ears and were gathered into a knot at the back of her neck. The brim of her low-crowned hat of quilted linen was tilted far down to shade her face; and her eyes, very green and clear and large, made a bewildering brilliance in the shadow.
For a moment, she watched him silently. Her figure was slender and youthful, and her posture had a carefree quality. Her small hands, crossed idly in her lap, were dark, thin, and long-fingered, with rosy nails. She wore a skirt and bodice made of creamy Acadian homespun linen, with the skirt falling just short of her slim ankles. Her lips were full and red, expressing a mix of sorrow and mockery. Her face, small and slightly thin, was tanned to a clear, deep brown, suggesting a hint of ancient Basque heritage. Thick black waves of hair, with rebellious curls and occasional glints of red, half-covered her small ears and were tied into a knot at the back of her neck. The brim of her low-crowned quilted linen hat was tilted down to shade her face, and her very green, large, and clear eyes created a dazzling brightness in the shadow.
The light in her eyes softened presently, and she said in a low voice:
The light in her eyes softened, and she said quietly:
"Poor boy, a very sharp reality you find me most of the time, I'm afraid."
"Poor boy, you often find me in a harsh reality, I’m afraid."
For this unexpected utterance Jean had no words of answer ready, but his look was a sufficiently eloquent refutation. He took a few eager steps toward her; then, reading inhibition in the sudden gravity of her mouth, he checked himself.
For this unexpected statement, Jean had no words ready to respond, but his expression was an eloquent enough rebuttal. He took a few eager steps toward her; then, noticing the seriousness in her suddenly tense mouth, he stopped himself.
"Day after to-morrow, about sundown," said he, "our Lady and St. Joseph permitting, we will get her launched. The tide will be full then, and we will run down with it, and pass the fort before moonrise. If the wind's fair we will get out of the Basin and off to sea that same night; but if it fails us there'll be tide enough to get us round the Island and into a hidden anchorage in Hibert River. Then—a cargo of Acadian beef and barley for Louisburg! And then—money! And then—and then—you!"
"Day after tomorrow, around sunset," he said, "with our Lady and St. Joseph's blessing, we’ll get her launched. The tide will be high then, and we’ll ride it down, passing the fort before the moon rises. If the wind's in our favor, we’ll leave the Basin and head out to sea that same night; but if it doesn't, there’ll be enough tide to take us around the Island and into a hidden spot in Hibert River. Then—a load of Acadian beef and barley for Louisburg! And then—money! And then—and then—you!"
He looked at her with pleading and longing in his eyes, but with a doggedness about his mouth which told of much pain endured and a determination which might bide its time, indeed, but would not be balked. The look of the mouth she was conscious of, deep down in her heart, and she in reality rested upon it; but it was the look in his eyes which she answered. She answered it lightly. A mocking smile played about the corners of her lips and her eyes sparkled upon him whimsically. The look both repulsed and invited him; and he hung for some moments, as it were, trembling midway between the promise and the denial.
He looked at her with a mix of pleading and longing in his eyes, but there was a stubbornness in his mouth that revealed the pain he had endured and a determination that might wait but wouldn’t be stopped. She felt the expression on his mouth deep down in her heart, and she truly focused on it; however, it was the look in his eyes that she responded to. She responded playfully. A teasing smile danced at the corners of her lips, and her eyes sparkled at him in a whimsical way. The look both pushed him away and drew him in; he lingered for a moment, caught between the promise and the rejection.
"Don't be too sure of—me!" she said at last. And his face fell—not so much at the words themselves as at their discouraging accent.
"Don't be too sure of—me!" she finally said. And his expression dropped—not so much because of the words themselves, but because of their discouraging tone.
"But," he protested, "it is all planned, all done, just for you, Barbe. There is nothing in it at all, except you. It is all you. That is understood between us from the first, and all the time."
"But," he protested, "everything has been organized and done just for you, Barbe. There's nothing else involved, just you. It's always been clear between us from the very beginning, and it always will be."
Still her mouth mocked him; and still her eyes gleamed upon him with their enigmatic light.
Still her mouth teased him; and still her eyes sparkled at him with their mysterious light.
"You will have your beautiful little ship," she said slowly. "You will have wonderful adventures—and little time to think of me at all. You will make a wonderful deal of money. You will make your name famous and hated among these English. I am expecting you to do great things. But as for me—I am not won yet, Jean."
"You'll have your beautiful little ship," she said slowly. "You'll have amazing adventures—and hardly any time to think of me at all. You'll make a lot of money. You'll make your name well-known and even hated among these English. I'm counting on you to do great things. But as for me—I'm not won yet, Jean."
His eyes glowed upon her, and the lines of his face set themselves with a sudden masterfulness. He gave a little, soft laugh.
His eyes lit up at her, and the features of his face took on an unexpected confidence. He let out a soft, quiet laugh.
"You are mine! You will be my wife before I make my second voyage."
"You belong to me! You’ll be my wife before I go on my second trip."
"If you believe that, you ought to be a very happy man," she retorted, and her smile softened almost imperceptibly as she said it. "You don't look quite as happy as you ought to, Jean!"
"If you believe that, you should be a really happy man," she shot back, and her smile eased just slightly as she said it. "You don't seem as happy as you should be, Jean!"
"Don't make me wait for my second voyage! Let me take you away from this unhappy country. Come with me—come with me now!"
"Don't make me wait for my second journey! Let me take you away from this unhappy country. Come with me—come with me now!"
He spoke swiftly, his voice thick with the sudden outburst of passion long held in check; and he strode forward to catch her in his arms.
He spoke quickly, his voice heavy with a surge of passion he'd kept inside for so long; and he stepped forward to pull her into his arms.
Instantaneous as a darting bird, or a flash of light on a wave, she was up from her resting-place and away behind the pile of grass and ferns.
As quick as a darting bird or a flash of light on a wave, she sprang up from her spot and dashed behind the clump of grass and ferns.
"Stay there!" she commanded, "or I'll go home at once!" And Jean stayed.
"Stay there!" she ordered, "or I'll go home right now!" And Jean stayed.
She laughed at him gayly, mercilessly.
She laughed at him playfully, without mercy.
"Would you have me take you on trust, Jean?" she questioned, with her head on one side. "How do I know that you are going to be brave enough to fight the English, or clever enough to outwit them? How do I know you will really do the great things I'm expecting of you? I know your dreams are fine, Boy; but you must show me deeds."
"Do you want me to just trust you, Jean?" she asked, tilting her head. "How do I know you're going to be brave enough to fight the English or smart enough to outsmart them? How can I be sure you'll actually accomplish the great things I expect from you? I know your dreams are wonderful, Boy, but you need to show me real actions."
"I will," he answered quietly. "Come here, Sweet, just for one minute!"
"I will," he replied softly. "Come here, Sweet, just for a minute!"
"No," she said with a very positive shake of her small head. "You must go on with your work. You have more to do yet than you realize. And I've something to do, too. I must go home at once."
"No," she said, shaking her small head confidently. "You need to keep working. You have more to do than you think. And I've got something to do as well. I have to head home right away."
"That's not fair, Barbe!" he pleaded.
"That's not fair, Barbe!" he begged.
"I don't care! It is good for you. No, don't come one step with me. Not one step. Go on with your work. I'm going to fly."
"I don't care! It's good for you. No, don’t come a step closer to me. Not one step. Keep doing your work. I'm going to fly."
She ran lightly across the chips, at a safe distance from Jean's outstretched arms, and turned into the trail among the maples. There she paused, gave her lover one melting, caressing, but still half-mocking glance, and cried to him:
She dashed lightly over the scattered chips, staying a safe distance from Jean's outstretched arms, and veered onto the path among the maple trees. There, she stopped, shot her lover a tender, playful glance that was still somewhat teasing, and called out to him:
"I am making a flag for 'Mon Rêve,' and it's not nearly done yet, Jean."
"I’m making a flag for 'Mon Rêve,' and it’s not almost done yet, Jean."
Then she disappeared among the bright branches.
Then she vanished into the vibrant branches.
With a tumult in his heart Jean turned back to his ladder and paint-pot. Little twinges of angry disappointment ran along his nerves, only to be smothered straightway in a flood of passionate tenderness.
With turmoil in his heart, Jean turned back to his ladder and paint pot. Little jolts of angry disappointment shot through his nerves, only to be quickly drowned in a wave of passionate tenderness.
"Next voyage, anyway!" he muttered to himself as he worked feverishly. "I couldn't live longer than that without her!" And he went over and over in his imagination every detail of the girl's appearance, the changing moods of her radiant dark face, her hair, her hands, the tones of her voice.
"Next trip, anyway!" he muttered to himself as he worked frantically. "I couldn't get by longer than that without her!" And he kept imagining every detail of the girl's appearance, the shifting moods of her glowing dark face, her hair, her hands, the sounds of her voice.
Along the trail through the autumn maples, meanwhile Mademoiselle Barbe was speeding on light feet. The little smile was gone from the corners of her mouth, and into her eyes, now that Jean could no longer see them, was come a great gentleness. Her mockery, her impatience, her picturesque asperity were a kind of game which she played with herself, to disguise, sometimes even from herself, the greatness and the oversensitiveness of her heart. At this moment she was feeling sore at the nearness of Jean's departure, and was conscious of the pressure of his will urging her to go with him. This she was resolved she would not do; but she was equally resolved that her flag should be ready and go in her place. As for the next voyage—well, she thought to herself that Jean might persuade her by that time, if he tried hard. As to his success she had not really a grain of doubt. She knew well enough the quality of his fibre. Her light feet, as she hurried, made hardly a sound upon the soft mould of the trail, which was half-hidden by the bright autumn carpeting of the leaves. But presently she heard the noise of heavier footfalls approaching. Just ahead of her the trail turned sharply. Peering through the tangle of branches and thinned leafage, she caught glimpses of something that caused her face to grow pale, her heart to throb up into her throat; and she stepped behind the thick shelter of a fir bush to consider what was to be done.
Along the path through the autumn maples, Mademoiselle Barbe was moving quickly on light feet. The little smile had vanished from her lips, and now that Jean could no longer see her eyes, a great gentleness filled them. Her teasing, her impatience, and her sharp demeanor were like a game she played with herself, hiding, even from herself, the depth and sensitivity of her heart. At that moment, she felt a sting at the thought of Jean’s impending departure and was aware of his will pushing her to go with him. She was determined not to do that; but she was also resolved that her flag should be ready and stand in for her. As for the next journey—well, she thought that Jean might convince her by then if he tried hard enough. She had no doubt he would succeed. She knew well the strength of his character. Her light feet barely made a sound on the soft earth of the trail, which was partly covered by the bright autumn blanket of leaves. But soon she heard the sound of heavier footsteps coming closer. Just ahead, the trail turned sharply. Peering through the tangle of branches and sparse leaves, she caught sight of something that made her face go pale and her heart race; she stepped behind a thick fir bush to consider what to do next.
The sight that so disturbed her was in itself no terrible one. A tall, ruddy-faced, keen-eyed man, carelessly dressed, but of erect, military bearing, came striding up the trail, a gun over his arm, a brown dog at his heels. Barbe recognized him at once—the English officer in command of the fort at Annapolis. She saw that he was out for partridges—but she saw, also, that he was walking at a pace that would speedily devour the scant two miles that divided him from the shipyard of "Mon Rêve." It was evident that he had forgotten his shooting in his interest in this unknown trail upon which he had stumbled. If he went on the game was up for Jean's little ship!
The sight that disturbed her wasn’t terrible in itself. A tall, ruddy-faced, sharp-eyed man, dressed casually but standing with an upright, military posture, came striding up the trail with a gun over his arm and a brown dog at his heels. Barbe recognized him immediately—the English officer in charge of the fort at Annapolis. She noticed he was out hunting partridges, but she also saw that he was walking at a pace that would quickly cover the short two miles separating him from the shipyard of "Mon Rêve." It was clear that he had forgotten about his hunt, distracted by this unfamiliar trail he had come across. If he continued, it would be the end for Jean's little ship!
She resolved that he should not go on. It took her just five seconds to decide the whole question. There was a large fallen tree close beside the trail, two or three paces from where she hid. Over this she threw herself discreetly, with a little choking scream, and lay moaning among the leaves beside it.
She decided that he shouldn’t continue. It only took her five seconds to figure it all out. There was a big fallen tree right next to the path, just a few steps away from where she was hiding. She discreetly threw herself over it, letting out a little choked scream, and lay there moaning among the leaves beside it.
The Englishman darted forward and was at her side in a moment, bending over her with a mingling of alarm and admiration in his gray eyes.
The Englishman rushed forward and was by her side in an instant, leaning over her with a mix of concern and admiration in his gray eyes.
"Mademoiselle," he cried, "what has happened? Are you much hurt?"
"Mademoiselle," he exclaimed, "what happened? Are you seriously hurt?"
Receiving no answer, but more faint moans, he lifted her gently and stood her on her feet; but the instant he released her she collapsed upon the leaves, an appealing but intoxicating confusion of skirts, and slim brown hands, and crinkly dark hair, and the corner of a red mouth, and the glimpse of an ankle.
Receiving no answer, just faint moans, he gently lifted her and set her on her feet; but the moment he let go, she collapsed onto the leaves, a mix of skirts, slender brown hands, wavy dark hair, the corner of a red mouth, and a flash of an ankle.
"Mademoiselle! Tell me what is the matter. Tell me what can I do. Let me do something, I beg of you!" Lifting her again, he seated her beside him on the fallen tree; and this time he did not at once release her. At first, her eyes closed and her face a little drawn as with pain, she clung instinctively to his arm, with hands that seemed to him the most maddening that he had ever seen. Then, after several minutes which were very agreeable to him in spite of his anxiety, she appeared to pull herself together with a mighty effort. She moved away from his clasp, sat up straight, and opened upon him great eyes of pain and gratitude.
"Mademoiselle! What’s wrong? Tell me what I can do. Please, let me help!" Lifting her again, he sat her beside him on the fallen tree; this time, he didn’t let go right away. At first, her eyes were closed and her face a bit drawn with pain, and she instinctively clung to his arm, her hands driving him crazy in the best way. After a few minutes, which he found quite enjoyable despite his worry, she seemed to gather herself with a tremendous effort. She moved out of his grip, sat up straight, and looked at him with eyes full of pain and gratitude.
"Oh, thank you Monsieur!" she said simply. "I'm afraid I have been very troublesome. But, indeed, I thought I was going to die."
"Oh, thank you, sir!" she said simply. "I'm afraid I've been quite a hassle. But honestly, I thought I was going to die."
"But what is the matter, Mademoiselle? Tell me, and let me help you."
"But what's wrong, miss? Tell me so I can help you."
She sat cringing and setting her teeth hard. He noticed how white were the teeth, how scarlet the full lips.
She sat squirming and clenching her teeth. He noticed how white her teeth were and how bright red her full lips looked.
"It is just my heart," she said. "I was looking through the bushes to see who was coming. Something startled me, I think; and the pain clutched at my heart so I could not breathe, and I fell off."
"It’s just my heart," she said. "I was peeking through the bushes to see who was coming. Something scared me, I think; and the pain gripped my heart so tight that I couldn't breathe, and I fell over."
She paused, to moan a little softly and catch her breath. Before he could say anything she went on:
She paused to let out a soft moan and catch her breath. Before he could say anything, she continued:
"It's better now, but it hurts horribly."
"It's better now, but it hurts a lot."
"Let me support you, Mademoiselle," he urged with eager courtesy.
"Let me help you, Miss," he urged with friendly politeness.
But she shrank away from the approaching ministration.
But she recoiled from the coming assistance.
"No, Monsieur, I am better, really. But I must get home as quick as I can." She rose unsteadily.
"No, sir, I'm really doing better. But I need to get home as fast as I can." She stood up unsteadily.
The Englishman arose at the same time. The next moment Barbe sank back again, biting her lips to keep back a cry.
The Englishman got up at the same time. The next moment, Barbe sank back again, biting her lips to hold back a scream.
"Oh," she gasped, "I can't stand it! How can I get home?"
"Oh," she exclaimed, "I can't take this! How do I get home?"
"You must let me see you home, Mademoiselle," said the officer, authority blending with palpable enthusiasm in his tones.
"You have to let me walk you home, Miss," said the officer, his voice mixing authority with clear excitement.
"You are so good, Monsieur," she murmured gratefully. "But I could not think of taking you away back so far, almost to the village. It will spoil your afternoon's sport."
"You’re so kind, sir," she said gratefully. "But I can’t bear the thought of making you go all the way back, almost to the village. It will ruin your afternoon's fun."
The sympathy of the Englishman's face gave way to amusement, and he hastened to assure her of her mistake.
The sympathetic look on the Englishman's face changed to amusement, and he quickly moved to assure her that she was mistaken.
"Not at all, indeed, Mademoiselle. It will be quite as much my pleasure as my duty to see you safely home. Your misfortune—if not too serious—is my great good fortune!"
"Not at all, Mademoiselle. It will be just as much my pleasure as my duty to get you home safely. Your misfortune—if it's not too serious—is my great good fortune!"
Thanking him with a look, Barbe arose weakly and took the proffered arm. At first the homeward journey was very slow; but as the afternoon deepened, and the miles gathered between the English commandant and Jean's little ship, the girl began to let herself recover. By this time she felt that there was no danger of her escort leaving her one minute before he was obliged to; and she knew that now, for this night, the ship was safe. At last, as they emerged from the woods into a high pasture-ground, behind the cottage where Barbe lived with her aunt and uncle, the Englishman threw off the gallant for a moment and became the wide-awake officer. He paused, took his bearings carefully, and scrutinized the trail behind him with searching eyes.
Thanking him with a look, Barbe stood up unsteadily and took the offered arm. At first, the journey home was very slow; but as the afternoon went on and the distance increased between the English officer and Jean's little ship, the girl started to allow herself to relax. By this point, she felt confident that her escort wouldn’t leave her even a second sooner than necessary, and she knew that tonight, the ship was safe. Finally, as they stepped out of the woods into a large pasture behind the cottage where Barbe lived with her aunt and uncle, the Englishman dropped the charming act for a moment and became a vigilant officer. He paused, assessed his surroundings carefully, and scanned the path behind him with keen eyes.
"I have not seen this road before, Mademoiselle," he marked, "and it interests me. It is not down on our map of the Annapolis district. Whither does it lead, may I ask?"
"I haven't seen this road before, Miss," he noted, "and it catches my attention. It's not on our map of the Annapolis area. Where does it lead, if I may ask?"
Barbe's heart grew faint within her; but she answered lightly, with a look that somehow conveyed to him the impression that he should not be interested in roads when she was by.
Barbe felt a flutter in her chest, but she replied casually, with a glance that somehow suggested to him that he shouldn’t care about roads when she was around.
"They haul wood over it, my uncle and his neighbors, in the winter," she answered, "and black mud in summer from the swamp back there."
"They drag wood over it, my uncle and his neighbors, in the winter," she replied, "and black mud in the summer from the swamp back there."
The Englishman appeared satisfied; but she felt that his curiosity was aroused, and with all her arts she strove to divert his thoughts exclusively to herself. She succeeded in this to a degree that presently began to stir her apprehensiveness, and at her doorway she made her grateful farewells a trifle hurried. But the Englishman would listen to nothing more discouraging than au revoir. At last he said:
The Englishman seemed pleased; however, she sensed that his curiosity was piqued, and she used all her charms to keep his thoughts focused solely on her. She managed to do this to a point that soon started to make her uneasy, and at her doorway, she hastily exchanged her grateful goodbyes. But the Englishman wouldn’t accept anything more disheartening than "see you later." Finally, he said:
"I shall be shooting over these woods again to-morrow"—Barbe clutched hard upon the latch and held her breath—"and shall give myself the pleasure of calling to ask after—but no!" he corrected himself. "You are making me forget, Mademoiselle. I have a council-meeting to fill my day with drudgery to-morrow." (Barbe breathed again at this respite.) "I must deny myself till the day after. I may call then, may I not?"
"I'll be hunting in these woods again tomorrow," Barbe grasped the latch tightly and held her breath. "I'll take the pleasure of stopping by to check on you—but wait!" he corrected himself. "You're making me lose my train of thought, Mademoiselle. I have a council meeting that will fill my day with boring work tomorrow." (Barbe exhaled, relieved at this break.) "I’ll have to hold off until the day after. I can stop by then, can't I?"
There was a moment's pause, and in that moment the girl's swift brain made its decision.
There was a brief pause, and in that moment, the girl's quick mind made its decision.
"Certainly, Monsieur le Commandant," she said, sweeping his face with a brilliant glance that made his nerves tingle sweetly; "I shall be much honored. My aunt and I will be much honored!" And with a curtsy half mocking, half formal, and a disastrous curving of her scarlet lips, she slipped into the house.
"Of course, Commander," she said, giving him a dazzling look that sent a pleasant shiver down his spine. "I’ll be really honored. My aunt and I will be very honored!" And with a curtsy that was half teasing, half formal, and a tricky smile that curved her red lips, she slipped inside the house.
"By—Jove!" muttered the Englishman, as he strode away in a daze.
"By—God!" muttered the Englishman, as he walked away in a daze.
From the window, behind the bean vines, Barbe watched him go. The instant he was out of sight she darted from the door, sped swiftly over the rough pasture-lot, and disappeared among the twilights of the trail, where the afternoon shadows were already darkening to purple. She ran with the endurance of health and practice and a clean-breathing outdoor life; but presently her breath began to fail, her heart to thump madly against her slim sides. Then—around a bend of the trail came Jean, returning earlier than his wont. With an exclamation of glad surprise he sprang forward to meet her. Still more was his surprise when she caught him by the shoulders with both hands and leaned, gasping and sobbing, against his breast.
From the window, behind the bean vines, Barbe watched him leave. The moment he was out of sight, she shot out the door, raced quickly across the rough pasture, and vanished into the fading light of the trail, where the afternoon shadows were already turning purple. She ran with the endurance of good health and familiarity, thriving in the fresh outdoor air; but soon her breath started to falter, and her heart pounded wildly against her slender sides. Then—around a bend in the trail came Jean, returning earlier than usual. With a shout of joy, he rushed forward to meet her. He was even more surprised when she grabbed his shoulders with both hands and leaned against his chest, gasping and sobbing.
After one fierce clasp he held her lightly and tenderly like a child, and anxiously scanned her face.
After one intense embrace, he held her gently and lovingly like a child, and nervously examined her face.
"What is it, Barbe, beloved? What is the matter?" he questioned eagerly.
"What is it, Barbe, my love? What's wrong?" he asked eagerly.
"The ship," she panted, "must go! You must go—to-morrow night!"
"The ship," she gasped, "has to leave! You have to go—tomorrow night!"
"Why? But it is impossible!" he protested, bewildered. "Mich' won't be here till the day after—and one man can't launch her, and can't sail her all by himself."
"Why? But that's impossible!" he protested, confused. "Mich won't be here until the day after tomorrow—and one person can't launch her or sail her all by themselves."
"I tell you it must be done," she cried imperiously. "You must, you must!" And then, in a few edged words, she explained the situation. "If you can't, all is lost," she concluded, "for they will discover you, and seize the ship, the day after to-morrow. Jean, I would never believe that you had any such word as 'can't.'"
"I’m telling you it has to be done," she said authoritatively. "You have to, you have to!" Then, with a few pointed words, she laid out the situation. "If you can’t, everything is lost," she finished. "They’ll find you and take the ship the day after tomorrow. Jean, I would never believe that you even have the word 'can’t'."
By this time Jean's face was white and his jaw was set.
By this point, Jean's face was pale and his jaw was clenched.
"Of course," he said quietly, "it will be done somehow. I'm not beaten till I'm dead. But the chances are, Sweet, that after I get the little ship launched I'll run her aground somewhere down the river, and be caught next day like a rat in a barrel. It's ticklish navigating at best, down the river, and one man can't rightly manage even the foresail alone, and steer, in those eddies and twists in the channel. But—"
"Of course," he said softly, "it will be done somehow. I'm not out of the game until I'm dead. But the reality, Sweet, is that after I get the little ship launched, I'll probably run her aground somewhere down the river and get caught the next day like a rat in a barrel. Navigating down the river is tricky at best, and one person can't really handle even the foresail on their own while steering through those currents and bends in the channel. But—"
"But, Jean—" she interrupted, and then paused, leaning close against him, and looking up at him with eyes that seemed to him to make a brightness in the dark.
"But, Jean—" she interrupted, then paused, leaning close to him and looking up with eyes that seemed to create a glow in the darkness.
"But what, beautiful one?" he questioned, leaning his face over her, and growing suddenly tremulous with a vague, wonderful expectancy.
"But what is it, beautiful one?" he asked, leaning his face closer to hers and suddenly feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness.
"I can help! Take me!" And she hid her eyes against his rough shirt-sleeve.
"I can help! Take me!" And she buried her face in his rough shirt sleeve.
For one moment Jean stood tense, moveless, unable to apprehend this sudden realization of his dreams. Then he swung her light figure up into his arms, and covered her face and hair with kisses. With a little smile of content upon her lips she suffered his madness for a while. Then she made him put her down.
For a moment, Jean stood there, tense and still, unable to grasp this sudden realization of his dreams. Then he lifted her light figure into his arms and showered her face and hair with kisses. With a small smile of satisfaction on her lips, she allowed him to be a bit crazy for a while. Then she asked him to set her down.
"There is no time now to make love to me," she said. "We've so much to do and plan. You've never run away with a ship and a girl before, Jean, and we must make sure you know just how to go about it."
"There’s no time to make love right now," she said. "We have so much to do and plan. You’ve never escaped with a ship and a girl before, Jean, and we need to make sure you know exactly how to do it."
That night Barbe snatched a few hours of sleep, being mindful of the witchery of her eyes. But Jean toiled all night long, driving his yoke of oxen to and fro between his cabin and his shipyard in the forest. And he was not weary. His heart was light as air and sang with every pulse. His strength and his star—he felt them equal to any crisis.
That night, Barbe managed to grab a few hours of sleep, aware of the magic in her eyes. But Jean worked all night, moving his oxen back and forth between his cabin and his shipyard in the woods. And he didn’t feel tired. His heart was light as air and sang with every heartbeat. He felt strong and confident, ready for anything that came his way.
On the following afternoon, when it wanted yet an hour of high tide, and the shadows of the maples were beginning to creep over the yellow chips, all was ready. Full of a wild gayety, and untiring as a boy, Barbe had worked all day, getting the sails bent, the stores on board, the last of block and tackle into place. Suddenly, from a post of vantage in the high-pointing bowsprit, she looked down the trail and clapped her brown hands with a shout of delight.
On the next afternoon, with an hour left until high tide, and the shadows of the maples starting to stretch across the yellow chips, everything was set. Bursting with excitement and energy like a kid, Barbe had worked all day, getting the sails rigged, the supplies loaded, and the last of the block and tackle in position. Suddenly, from a high spot on the bowsprit, she looked down the trail and clapped her brown hands in a cheer of joy.
"Mich' has come!" she cried. And Mich' Masson, striding into the open, threw down a big red bundle on the chips.
"Mich' has arrived!" she exclaimed. And Mich' Masson, walking confidently into the open, tossed a large red bundle onto the pile of chips.
"Pretty nigh ready?" he inquired. "Why, what is the matter, mon gar'?"
"Almost ready?" he asked. "What's wrong, mon gar'?"
Jean's face had fallen like his heart. There was no longer any necessity of Barbe's sharing his adventure. But he hurried forward and clasped his friend's hand.
Jean's face had dropped like his heart. There was no longer any need for Barbe to share in his adventure. But he rushed ahead and took his friend's hand.
"We've got to get away to-night," he stammered, struggling bravely to make his voice sound cheerful. "The English are coming over here to-morrow to find out what's going on—so it's time for us to be going off! Barbe was to help me through with it."
"We have to leave tonight," he stuttered, making a strong effort to sound cheerful. "The English are coming here tomorrow to see what's happening—so it's time for us to get going! Barbe was supposed to help me with it."
Mich' held to Jean's hand, and glanced questioningly from his troubled face to the girl's teasing one. But Barbe had burned her bridges and saw no reason to be unmerciful.
Mich' held Jean's hand and looked from his worried face to the girl's playful one with a questioning expression. But Barbe had burned her bridges and felt no need to show any mercy.
"I suppose I'll have to be just crew and cabin-boy now, Mich'," she pouted. "Jean was going to let me be first mate, and there wasn't to be any crew."
"I guess I'll just have to be crew and a cabin boy now, Mich'," she sulked. "Jean was going to let me be first mate, and there wasn’t supposed to be any crew."
A great joy broke over Jean's face, and Mich' removed his gray woolen cap with a sweeping bow. But before either could reply there came from a little way up the trail the excited yapping as of a dog that has treed a partridge. The three looked at each other, their eyes wide with apprehension. Then the report of a gun.
A huge smile spread across Jean's face, and Mich' took off his gray wool cap with a dramatic bow. But before either could say anything, they heard the excited barking of a dog that had cornered a partridge further up the trail. The three exchanged glances, their eyes filled with worry. Then, the sound of a gunshot.
"The Englishman!" gasped Barbe. "He has not waited. Quick, hide, one each side of the trail, and take him prisoner. Don't shoot him. He was kind to me."
"The Englishman!" Barbe gasped. "He didn't wait. Quick, hide on either side of the trail and capture him. Don't shoot him. He was nice to me."
Jean snatched up his musket and the two men darted into the bush. By a rope from the bulwarks Barbe swung herself lightly to the ground. In haste she crossed the chip-strewn open, and then, carelessly swinging her hat in her hand, and singing a fitful snatch of song, she sauntered up the trail to meet the intruder.
Jean grabbed his musket, and the two men rushed into the bushes. Using a rope from the railing, Barbe jumped down lightly to the ground. In a hurry, she crossed the open area covered in chips, and then, casually swinging her hat in her hand and humming a few lines of a song, she strolled up the trail to meet the intruder.
The trail wound rapidly, so that before she had gone two-score paces the ship was hid from her view. A few steps more and the Englishman came in sight, swinging forward alertly, a fluff of brown feathers dangling from his right hand. He was face to face with Barbe; and the delighted astonishment that came into his eyes was dashed with a faint chill of suspicion.
The path twisted quickly, so that before she had taken eighty steps, the ship was out of her sight. A few more steps and the Englishman appeared, moving forward energetically, a bunch of brown feathers hanging from his right hand. He confronted Barbe; the delighted surprise in his eyes was mixed with a slight feeling of suspicion.
"How fate favors me, Mademoiselle!" he exclaimed, doffing his cap. "Gad, you are a brave girl to wander so far into the woods alone!"
"How lucky I am, Mademoiselle!" he exclaimed, taking off his hat. "Wow, you're really brave to wander so far into the woods by yourself!"
"No, Monsieur, fate does not favor you," retorted Barbe with a sort of intimate petulance, holding out her brown fingers. "You had no business coming to-day when you said you were not coming till to-morrow. Now, you are going to find out a secret of mine which I didn't want any one to find out."
"No, mister, luck isn’t on your side," Barbe shot back with a hint of familiar annoyance, extending her brown fingers. "You shouldn’t have come today when you said you wouldn’t show up until tomorrow. Now, you’re going to discover a secret of mine that I didn’t want anyone to know."
"But you are not angry at seeing me," he protested.
"But you're not mad to see me," he protested.
"N-n-o-o!" she answered, her head upon one side in doubt, while she bewildered him with her eyes. "But I'm sorry in a way! Well, come and I'll show you. Forgive me for lying to you yesterday about this road!"
"N-n-o-o!" she replied, tilting her head in uncertainty as she confused him with her gaze. "But I do feel a bit bad about it! Anyway, come on, and I'll show you. I'm sorry for lying to you yesterday about this road!"
And she turned to accompany him, walking very close to his side, so that her slim shoulder touched his arm and blurred his sagacity. The next instant came the sharp order: "Halt! Don't stir, or you're dead!"
And she turned to walk with him, staying very close to his side, so that her slim shoulder brushed against his arm and clouded his judgment. The next moment came the harsh command: "Stop! Don’t move, or you’re dead!"
The Englishman found himself facing two leveled muskets. At the same moment his own weapon went flying into the underbrush, twitched from his hold by a dexterous catch of Barbe's fingers.
The Englishman found himself staring down two aimed muskets. At the same time, his own gun was yanked from his grasp and sent flying into the underbrush, deftly snatched by Barbe's quick fingers.
He stood still and very straight, his arms at his sides, eying his assailants steadily. His first impulse was to dart upon them with his naked hands; but he saw the well-knit form of Jean, almost his own height, the lean, set face, a certain exultation in the eyes which he read aright; and he saw the shrewd, dark, confident look of Mich', the experienced master of situations. The red mounted slowly to his face, and he turned upon Barbe a look wherein reproach at once gave way to scorn and a kind of shame.
He stood straight and still, arms at his sides, watching his attackers intently. His first instinct was to rush at them with his bare hands; but then he noticed Jean, almost his height, with a lean, determined face and a certain triumphant glint in his eyes that he understood; and he saw Mich's shrewd, dark, and confident expression, the man who could handle any situation. Color rose in his cheeks, and he turned to Barbe with a look where disappointment quickly shifted to contempt and a sense of shame.
Barbe herself flushed under that look.
Barbe herself blushed under that gaze.
"You wrong me, Monsieur!" she cried impetuously. "I did it to save you. You are a brave man, and would have tried to fight, and they would have killed you!"
"You've got it wrong, Monsieur!" she exclaimed passionately. "I did it to protect you. You're a brave man, and you would have tried to fight, and they would have killed you!"
He bowed stiffly and turned to the men.
He stiffly bowed and turned to the men.
"What do you want of me?"
"What do you want from me?"
"Your parole!" said Jean. "Give us your word that you will come with us quietly, making no resistance and no effort to escape." The Englishman shut his lips doggedly.
"Your parole!" said Jean. "Promise us that you will come with us quietly, without resisting or trying to escape." The Englishman closed his lips tightly.
"Then you must be bound," said Mich' with curt decision. "We've no time to waste."
"Then you have to be tied up," said Mich' with a firm decision. "We don't have time to waste."
"Let me bind you, Monsieur," said Barbe, taking his wrists gently and putting them behind his back. "It is no dishonor to be captive to a woman."
"Let me tie you up, Sir," said Barbe, gently taking his wrists and placing them behind his back. "It's not shameful to be captured by a woman."
With a silk scarf from her waist, and a feminine cunning in knots, she quickly tied his hands together so that he felt himself quite hopeless of escape. Then, in a cold wrath, he was led forward; with no constraint but Barbe's touch upon his arm. The ship, high on her stocks, came into view. And he understood.
With a silk scarf from her waist and a clever touch in tying knots, she quickly bound his hands together, leaving him feeling completely helpless to escape. Then, in a cold rage, he was led forward, with no restraint except for Barbe's hand on his arm. The ship, elevated on its supports, came into view. And he understood.
Seating himself upon a log, with his back against a tree, Mich' passed a rope about his waist and made him fast to the trunk. There he sat and chewed his indignation, while his captors went in haste about their work. But presently he grew interested. He saw the blocks knocked out from under the little ship's sides, so that she came down upon the greased ways and slid smoothly into the flood. He saw her checked gradually by a rope turned once around a tree trunk, so that she was kept from running aground on the opposite side of the Basin. He saw a small boat dragged down from the bushes to the edge of the tide, and oars put into it. By this time he had revolved many aspects of the case in his mind. Then came to him Barbe and Jean.
Sitting on a log with his back against a tree, Mich' tied a rope around his waist and secured himself to the trunk. There he sat, stewing in his anger while his captors hurriedly went about their tasks. But soon, he became intrigued. He watched as they knocked the blocks out from under the little ship's sides, allowing it to slide down the greased ways and smoothly into the water. He saw it gradually come to a stop, secured by a rope wrapped around a tree trunk, preventing it from running aground on the other side of the Basin. He noticed a small boat being dragged out from the bushes to the edge of the tide, with oars inserted into it. By this point, he had considered many aspects of the situation. Then he thought of Barbe and Jean.
"Monsieur," said Jean, "I regret to have inconvenienced you in this way. But you would without mercy have wrecked all my hopes. I have put all my means into this little ship, built with my own hands. My heart is set on removing from the land of Acadie, to live once more under my own flag of France. But I do not wish to take you a prisoner to Louisburg, or to put you to any further annoyance. To Mademoiselle Dieudonné you showed yourself yesterday a most kind and courteous gentleman. All Acadie knows you are brave. Give me your word that you will in no way seek to stop or hinder our departure, and let me set you free!"
“Monsieur,” Jean said, “I’m sorry to have put you in this position. But you would have mercilessly destroyed all my hopes. I have invested everything into this little ship, which I built myself. I’m determined to leave Acadia behind and live again under my own flag of France. However, I don’t want to take you prisoner to Louisburg or cause you any more trouble. You were very kind and courteous to Mademoiselle Dieudonné yesterday. Everyone in Acadia knows you’re brave. Please give me your word that you won’t try to stop or hinder our departure, and let me set you free!”
"Give your parole, Monsieur!" begged Barbe, "or you will have to devote yourself to entertaining me all the way to Louisburg."
"Give me your parole, Monsieur!" Barbe pleaded, "or you’ll have to keep me entertained all the way to Louisburg."
The Englishman's face brightened.
The man's face brightened.
"Almost you make me wish to go to Louisburg, Mademoiselle. With the duty you apportion me I should be much happier, I assure you, than here in Annapolis trying to govern your good fellow-countrymen. But I will give my parole. I promise you, sir," and he turned his face to Jean, "that I will not in any way interfere with the departure of you and your ship from Acadie."
"You're almost making me want to go to Louisburg, Mademoiselle. With the responsibilities you give me, I know I’d be much happier than here in Annapolis, trying to lead your good countrymen. But I’ll stick to my word. I promise you, sir," he said, turning to Jean, "that I won’t do anything to prevent you and your ship from leaving Acadie."
"Thank you," said Jean, and he undid the rope and the scarf.
"Thanks," Jean said, and he untied the rope and the scarf.
The Englishman arose, walked down to the waterside with Barbe, and with elaborate courtesy helped her into the boat. He bent his lips over her hand as he said good-by.
The Englishman got up, walked to the water's edge with Barbe, and, with great politeness, helped her into the boat. He leaned down and kissed her hand as he said goodbye.
Turning upon him then a laughing face of farewell, Barbe cried: "Never, never will I pardon you, Monsieur, for consenting to give your parole!"
Turning to him with a laughing face of farewell, Barbe said, "Never, never will I forgive you, Monsieur, for agreeing to give your word!"
"Mademoiselle," he answered, "I am your prisoner still, and always."
"Mademoiselle," he replied, "I am still your prisoner, now and forever."
THOSE OLD LUNES! OR, WHICH IS THE MADMAN?
By W. GILMORE SIMMS
"I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw."—Hamlet.
"I’m just crazy north-north-west: when the wind is coming from the south, I can tell a hawk from a handsaw."—Hamlet.
CHAPTER I
We had spent a merry night of it. Our stars had paled their not ineffectual fires, only in the daylight; and while Dan Phoebus was yet rising, "jocund on the misty mountain tops," I was busy in adjusting my foot in the stirrup and mounting my good steed Priam, to find my way by a close cut, and through narrow Indian trails, to my lodgings in the little town of C——, on the very borders of Mississippi. There were a dozen of us, all merry larks, half mad with wine and laughter, and the ride of seven miles proved a short one. In less than two hours, I was snugly snoozing in my own sheets, and dreaming of the twin daughters of old Hansford Owens.
We had a great night. Our stars faded into the background, only visible in the daylight; and while the sun was still rising, “cheerful on the misty mountain tops,” I was busy getting my foot in the stirrup and mounting my trusty horse Priam, to find a shortcut through narrow trails to my place in the little town of C——, right on the border of Mississippi. There were about a dozen of us, all in high spirits, a bit crazy from wine and laughter, and the seven-mile ride felt quick. In less than two hours, I was comfortably asleep in my own bed, dreaming about the twin daughters of old Hansford Owens.
Well might one dream of such precious damsels. Verily, they seemed, all of a sudden, to have become a part of my existence. They filled my thoughts, excited my imagination, and,—if it be not an impertinence to say any thing of the heart of a roving lad of eighteen,—then were they at the very bottom of mine.—Both of them, let me say,—for they were twins, and were endowed with equal rights by nature. I was not yet prepared to say what was the difference, if any, between their claims. One was fair, the other brown; one pensive, the other merry as the cricket of Venus. Susannah was meek as became an Elder's daughter; Emmeline so mischievous that she might well have worried the meekest of the saints in the calendar from his propriety and position. I confess, though I thought constantly of Susannah, I always looked after Emmeline the first. She was the brunette—one of your flashing, sparkling, effervescing beauties,—perpetually running over with exultation—brimful of passionate fancies that tripped, on tiptoe, half winged, through her thoughts. She was a creature to make your blood bound in your bosom,—to take you entirely off your feet, and fancy, for the moment, that your heels are quite as much entitled to dominion as your head. Lovely too,—brilliant, if not absolutely perfect in features—she kept you always in a sort of sunlight. She sung well, talked well, danced well—was always in air—seemed never herself to lack repose, and, it must be confessed, seldom suffered it to any body else. Her dancing was the crowning grace and glory. She was no Taglioni—not an Ellsler—I do not pretend that. But she was a born artiste. Every motion was a study. Every look was life. Her form subsided into the sweetest luxuriance of attitude, and rose into motion with some such exquisite buoyancy, as would become Venus issuing from the foam. Her very affectations were so naturally worn, that you at length looked for them as essential to her charm. I confess—but no! Why should I do anything so foolish?
Well, it’s easy to imagine such wonderful girls. Suddenly, they felt like a part of my life. They filled my mind, sparked my imagination, and—if it’s not rude to mention the feelings of an adventurous eighteen-year-old—then they were truly at the center of my heart. Both of them, I should mention—since they were twins and had equal claims given by nature. I wasn’t really ready to figure out if there was any difference between their attractions. One was light-skinned, the other darker; one was thoughtful, while the other was as cheerful as a Venusian cricket. Susannah was gentle like an Elder's daughter; Emmeline was so playful that she could easily disturb even the calmest saint in history. I admit, even though I often thought about Susannah, I always noticed Emmeline first. She was the brunette—one of those dazzling, sparkling beauties—overflowing with joy and filled with passionate ideas that seemed to dance lightly through her mind. She was someone who could make your heart race—who could sweep you off your feet, making you feel that your feet had as much right to lead as your head. She was beautiful too—striking, if not completely perfect in features—she kept you in a constant glow. She sang well, spoke well, and danced well—always in motion—seemed never to lack calm, and, it must be admitted, rarely allowed anyone else to have it either. Her dancing was her greatest talent. She wasn’t a Taglioni or an Ellsler—I don’t claim that. But she was a natural performer. Every movement was captivating. Every glance was alive. Her body melted into the most beautiful poses and moved with such grace, it was like Venus rising from the sea foam. Even her quirks were so naturally part of her that you eventually expected them as part of her appeal. I admit—but no! Why would I do something so silly?
Susannah was a very different creature. She was a fair girl—rather pale, perhaps, when her features were in repose. She had rich soft flaxen hair, and dark blue eyes. She looked rather than spoke. Her words were few, her glances many. She was not necessarily silent in silence. On the contrary, her very silence had frequently a significance, taken with her looks, that needed no help from speech. She seemed to look through you at a glance, yet there was a liquid sweetness in her gaze, that disarmed it of all annoyance. If Emmeline was the glory of the sunlight—Susannah was the sovereign of the shade. If the song of the one filled you with exultation, that of the other awakened all your tenderness. If Emmeline was the creature for the dance,—Susannah was the wooing, beguiling Egeria, who could snatch you from yourself in the moments of respite and repose. For my part, I felt that I could spend all my mornings with the former, and all my evenings with the latter. Susannah with her large, blue, tearful eyes, and few, murmuring and always gentle accents, shone out upon me at nightfall as that last star that watches in the vault of night for the coming of the sapphire dawn.
Susannah was a completely different person. She was a pale girl, maybe a bit more so when her face was relaxed. She had beautifully soft, blonde hair and dark blue eyes. She preferred to look rather than speak. Her words were few, but her glances were plenty. She wasn’t silent even in silence; her quietness often carried a meaning, especially when paired with her looks, that didn’t need any words. It felt like she could see right through you with just a glance, yet there was a gentle sweetness in her gaze that made it impossible to feel annoyed. If Emmeline was the beauty of the sunlight, Susannah was the queen of the shade. If the song of one filled you with joy, the other awakened all your soft emotions. If Emmeline was made for dancing, Susannah was the enchanting muse who could draw you away from yourself during moments of peace and relaxation. Personally, I felt like I could spend all my mornings with Emmeline and all my evenings with Susannah. Susannah, with her big, tearful blue eyes and soft, gentle voice, appeared to me at dusk like that last star that waits in the night sky for the arrival of the bright morning.
So much for the damsels. And all these fancies, not to say feelings, were the fruit of but three short days' acquaintance with their objects. But these were days when thoughts travel merrily and fast—when all that concerns the fancies and the affections, are caught up in a moment, as if the mind were nothing but a congeries of instincts, and the sensibilities, with a thousand delicate antennae, were ever on the grasp for prey.
So much for the ladies. And all these thoughts, not to mention feelings, came from just three brief days of knowing them. But these were days when thoughts move quickly and happily—when everything related to fancy and affection can be captured in an instant, as if the mind were just a collection of instincts, and our sensitivities, with a thousand delicate feelers, were always reaching out for something to latch onto.
Squire Owens was a planter of tolerable condition. He was a widower, with these two lovely and lovable daughters—no more. But, bless you! Mine was no calculating heart. Very far from it. Neither the wealth of the father, nor the beauty of the girls, had yet prompted me to think of marriage. Life was pleasant enough as it was. Why burden it? Let well enough alone, say I. I had no wish to be happier. A wife never entered my thoughts. What might have come of being often with such damsels, there's no telling; but just then it was quite enough to dance with Emmeline, and muse with Susannah, and—vive la bagatelle!
Squire Owens was a planter of decent means. He was a widower with two lovely and lovable daughters—nothing more. But, honestly! I didn't have a calculating mind at all. Far from it. Neither the father's wealth nor the daughters' beauty had ever made me think about marriage. Life was enjoyable as it was. Why complicate it? I say let things be. I had no desire to be any happier. The idea of a wife never crossed my mind. What might have happened from spending time with such young women, who knows; but for now, it was more than enough to dance with Emmeline, chat with Susannah, and—vive la bagatelle!
I need say nothing more of my dreams, since the reader sufficiently knows the subject. I slept late that day, and only rose in time for dinner, which, in that almost primitive region, took place at 12 o'clock, M. I had no appetite. A herring and soda water might have sufficed, but these were matters foreign to the manor. I endured the day and headache together, as well as I could, slept soundly that night, with now the most ravishing fancies of Emmeline, and now the pleasant dreams of Susannah, one or other of whom still usurped the place of a bright particular star in my most capacious fancy. Truth is, in those heyday days, my innocent heart never saw any terrors in polygamy. I rose a new man, refreshed and very eager for a start. I barely swallowed breakfast when Priam was at the door. While I was about to mount, with thoughts filled with the meek beauties of Susannah,—I was arrested by the approach of no less a person than Ephraim Strong, the village blacksmith.
I don't need to say anything more about my dreams since the reader already knows the topic. I slept in that day and only got up in time for lunch, which in that almost primitive area, was at noon. I had no appetite. A herring and some soda water would have been enough, but those weren’t available at the manor. I got through the day and the headache as best as I could, slept deeply that night, with the most enchanting thoughts of Emmeline and the sweet dreams of Susannah, either of whom still held the spot of a shining star in my vivid imagination. Truth is, back in those carefree days, my innocent heart didn't see any issues with polygamy. I woke up feeling like a new man, refreshed and eager to begin. I barely finished breakfast when Priam was at the door. Just as I was about to mount, my head filled with the gentle beauty of Susannah, I was stopped by the approach of none other than Ephraim Strong, the village blacksmith.
"You're guine to ride, I see."
"You're going to ride, I see."
"Yes."
Yes.
"To Squire Owens, I reckon."
"To Squire Owens, I suppose."
"Right."
"Okay."
"Well, keep a sharp look out on the road, for there's news come down that the famous Archy Dargan has broke Hamilton jail."
"Well, keep an eye on the road because I just heard that the famous Archy Dargan has escaped from Hamilton jail."
"And who's Archy Dargan?"
"And who's Archy Dargan?"
"What! don't know Archy? Why, he's the madman that's been shut up there, it's now guine on two years."
"What! You don’t know Archy? Well, he's the crazy guy who’s been locked up there for almost two years now."
"A madman, eh?"
"A crazy person, huh?"
"Yes, and a mighty sevagerous one at that. He's the cunningest white man going. Talks like a book, and knows how to get out of a scrape,—is jest as sensible as any man for a time, but, sudden, he takes a start, like a shying horse, and before you knows where you are, his heels are in your jaw. Once he blazes out, it's knife or gun, hatchet or hickory—any thing he can lay hands on. He's killed two men already, and cut another's throat a'most to killing. He's an ugly chap to meet on the road, so look out right and left."
"Yeah, and a really dangerous one at that. He’s the smartest white guy around. He talks like he’s reading from a book and knows how to get out of tight spots—he’s just as sensible as anyone for a while, but suddenly he flips, like a startled horse, and before you know it, he’s kicking you in the face. Once he loses it, it’s knife or gun, axe or whatever he can grab. He’s already killed two guys and nearly slit another one's throat. He’s a scary guy to run into on the road, so keep your head on a swivel."
"What sort of man is he?"
"What kind of guy is he?"
"In looks?"
"In appearance?"
"Yes!"
"Absolutely!"
"Well, I reckon, he's about your heft. He's young and tallish, with a fair skin, brown hair, and a mighty quick keen blue eye, that never looks steadily nowhere. Look sharp for him. The sheriff with his 'spose-you-come-and-take-us'—is out after him, but he's mighty cute to dodge, and had the start some twelve hours afore they missed him."
"Well, I guess he’s about your size. He’s young and pretty tall, with fair skin, brown hair, and a really sharp blue eye that never stays focused on one thing. Keep an eye out for him. The sheriff, with his 'you’d better come and get us' attitude, is looking for him, but he’s really clever at avoiding capture and had a twelve-hour head start before they realized he was gone."
CHAPTER II
The information thus received did not disquiet me. After the momentary reflection that it might be awkward to meet a madman, out of bounds, upon the highway, I quickly dismissed the matter from my mind. I had no room for any but pleasant meditations. The fair Susannah was now uppermost in my dreaming fancies, and, reversing the grasp upon my whip, the ivory handle of which, lined with an ounce or two of lead, seemed to me a sufficiently effective weapon for the worst of dangers, I bade my friendly blacksmith farewell, and dashed forward upon the high road. A smart canter soon took me out of the settlement, and, once in the woods, I recommended myself with all the happy facility of youth, to its most pleasant and beguiling imaginings. I suppose I had ridden a mile or more—the story of the bedlamite was gone utterly from my thought—when a sudden turn in the road showed me a person, also mounted, and coming towards me at an easy trot, some twenty-five or thirty yards distant. There was nothing remarkable in his appearance. He was a plain farmer or woodman, clothed in ample homespun, and riding a short heavy chunk of an animal, that had just been taken from the plough. The rider was a spare, long-legged person, probably thirty years or thereabouts. He looked innocent enough, wearing that simple, open-mouthed sort of countenance, the owner of which, we assume, at a glance, will never set any neighbouring stream on fire. He belonged evidently to a class as humble as he was simple,—but I had been brought up in a school which taught me that the claims of poverty were quite as urgent upon courtesy as those of wealth. Accordingly, as we neared each other, I prepared to bestow upon him the usual civil recognition of the highway. What is it Scott says—I am not sure that I quote him rightly—
The information I received didn’t bother me. After a brief thought about how it might be awkward to run into a madman on the road, I quickly pushed it aside. I had no space in my mind for anything but pleasant thoughts. The lovely Susannah was at the forefront of my daydreams, and, switching my grip on my whip—which had an ivory handle weighted with a bit of lead, making it a decent weapon for any trouble—I said goodbye to my friendly blacksmith and rode off on the main road. A brisk canter soon took me out of the settlement, and once I was in the woods, I lost myself, embracing the joyous imaginings of youth. I must’ve ridden a mile or so—the thoughts of the madman had completely vanished—when a sudden twist in the road revealed another rider approaching me at a relaxed trot, about twenty-five or thirty yards away. There was nothing special about his appearance. He was just a plain farmer or woodworker, dressed in ample homespun, riding a sturdy, heavy-set animal that seemed fresh from the plow. The rider was tall and lanky, probably around thirty. He looked innocent enough, with that simple, open-faced expression that suggests someone who wouldn't set anything ablaze with mischief. He clearly belonged to a humble and simple class, but I had been raised to believe that the demands of courtesy applied equally to the poor as they did to the rich. So, as we got closer to each other, I readied myself to give him the usual polite nod of acknowledgment on the highway. What is it Scott says—I’m not sure if I’m quoting him correctly—
"When men in distant forests meet,
They pass not as in peaceful street."
"When men in faraway woods meet,
They don't pass each other like in a calm street."
And, with the best of good humour, I rounded my lips into a smile, and got ready my salutation. To account somewhat for its effect when uttered, I must premise that my own personal appearance, at this time, was rather wild and impressive. My face was full of laughter and my manners of buoyancy. My hair was very long, and fell in masses upon my shoulder, unrestrained by the cap which I habitually wore, and which, as I was riding under heavy shade trees, was grasped in my hand along with my riding whip. As the stranger drew nigh, the arm was extended, cap and whip lifted in air, and with free, generous lungs, I shouted—"good morning, my friend,—how wags the world with you to-day?"
And, with a cheerful mood, I smiled and got ready to greet him. To explain its impact when I spoke, I should mention that I looked quite wild and striking at that moment. My face was full of laughter, and I had an upbeat demeanor. My hair was very long and fell in thick locks over my shoulder, untamed by the cap I usually wore, which I held in one hand along with my riding whip as I rode under the shade of the trees. As the stranger approached, I extended my arm, raised my cap and whip into the air, and called out with a loud, friendly voice, "Good morning, my friend! How’s the world treating you today?"
The effect of this address was prodigious. The fellow gave no answer,—not a word, not a syllable—not the slightest nod of the head,—mais, tout au contraire. But for the dilating of his amazed pupils, and the dropping of the lower jaw, his features might have been chiselled out of stone. They wore an expression amounting to consternation, and I could see that he caught up his bridle with increased alertness, bent himself to the saddle, half drew up his horse, and then, as if suddenly resolved, edged him off, as closely as the woods would allow, to the opposite side of the road. The undergrowth was too thick to allow of his going into the wood at the spot where we encountered, or he certainly would have done so. Somewhat surprised at this, I said something, I cannot now recollect what, the effect of which was even more impressive upon him than my former speech. The heads of our horses were now nearly parallel—the road was an ordinary wagon track, say twelve feet wide—I could have brushed him with my cap as we passed, and, waving it still aloft, he seemed to fancy that such was my intention,—for, inclining his whole body on the off side of his nag, as the Comanche does when his aim is to send an arrow at his enemy beneath his neck—his heels thrown back, though spurless, were made to belabour with the most surprising rapidity the flanks of his drowsy animal. And, not without some effect. The creature dashed first into a trot, then into a canter, and finally into a gallop, which, as I was bound one way and he the other, soon threw a considerable space between us.
The impact of this speech was incredible. The guy didn’t respond—not a word, not a sound—not even a slight nod. But you could see his dilated pupils and the way his jaw dropped; his face could’ve been carved from stone. He looked completely shocked, and I noticed he picked up his reins with heightened awareness, leaned forward in the saddle, half pulled up his horse, and then, as if making a sudden decision, maneuvered it as close as possible to the edge of the road, away from me. The underbrush was too dense for him to ride into the woods where we met, or he definitely would have done it. Surprised by this, I said something—I can’t quite remember what—that ended up being even more impactful for him than my previous words. Our horses’ heads were almost lined up; the road was a simple wagon track, about twelve feet wide. I could have brushed past him with my hat, and as I waved it high, he seemed to think I was trying to signal him. So, leaning his whole body to the side like a Comanche shooting an arrow, he kicked his heels back, even without spurs, and urged his sluggish horse into an astonishingly quick gallop. And it worked. The horse went from a trot to a canter, and then to a full gallop. Since I was heading one way and he was going the other, we quickly created a good distance between us.
"The fellow's mad!" was my reflection and speech, as, wheeling my horse half about, I could see him looking backward, and driving his heels still into the sides of his reluctant hack. The next moment gave me a solution of the matter. The simple countryman had heard of the bedlamite from Hamilton jail. My bare head, the long hair flying in the wind, my buoyancy of manner, and the hearty, and, perhaps, novel form of salutation with which I addressed him, had satisfied him that I was the person. As the thought struck me, I resolved to play the game out, and, with a restless love of levity which has been too frequently my error, I put the whip over my horse's neck, and sent him forward in pursuit. My nag was a fine one, and very soon the space was lessened between me and the chase. As he heard the footfalls behind, the frightened fugitive redoubled his exertions. He laid himself to it, his heels paddling in the sides of his donkey with redoubled industry. And thus I kept him for a good mile, until the first houses of the settlement grew visible in the distance. I then once more turned upon the path to the Owens', laughing merrily at the rare chase, and the undisguised consternation of the countryman. The story afforded ample merriment to my fair friends Emmeline and Susannah. "It was so ridiculous that one of my appearance should be taken for a madman. The silly fellow deserved the scare." On these points we were all perfectly agreed. That night we spent charmingly. The company did not separate till near one o'clock. We had fun and fiddles. I danced by turns with the twins, and more than once with a Miss Gridley, a very pretty girl, who was present. Squire Owens was in the best of humours, and, no ways loth, I was made to stay all night.
"The guy's crazy!" was my thought and words as I turned my horse around and saw him looking back, still kicking his heels into his reluctant horse. The next moment revealed everything. The simple farmer must have heard about the lunatic from Hamilton jail. My bare head, long hair blowing in the wind, my cheerful attitude, and the friendly, maybe unexpected way I greeted him led him to believe I was the one. As that thought hit me, I decided to go along with it, and with a restless love for fun that’s often gotten me in trouble, I flicked the whip over my horse's neck and sent him galloping after him. My horse was a good one, and soon the distance between us shrank. As he heard the hoofbeats behind him, the scared guy kicked his horse harder. He put his all into it, really pushing his donkey with more effort. I kept up the chase for a good mile until the first houses of the settlement appeared in the distance. I then turned back towards the Owens’, laughing joyfully at the unusual chase and the farmer's obvious panic. The story gave plenty of laughs to my lovely friends Emmeline and Susannah. "It's so ridiculous that someone like me could be mistaken for a madman. The poor guy deserved the scare." We all agreed completely on that. We had a wonderful night, and the group didn’t break up until nearly one o'clock. We had a great time with music and dancing. I took turns dancing with the twins and even danced with a Miss Gridley, a very pretty girl who was there. Squire Owens was in a fantastic mood, and I was more than happy to stay the night.
CHAPTER III
A new day of delight dawned upon us with the next. Our breakfast made a happy family picture, which I began to think it would be cruel to interrupt. So snugly did I sit beside Emmeline, and so sweetly did Susannah minister at the coffee urn, and so patriarchally did the old man look around upon the circle, that my meditations were all in favour of certain measures for perpetuating the scene. The chief difficulty seemed to be, in the way of a choice between the sisters.
A new day of joy arrived with the next. Our breakfast created a happy family scene that I thought would be cruel to disturb. I sat comfortably next to Emmeline, and Susannah was serving at the coffee urn with such grace, while the old man looked around at everyone like a patriarch, that I couldn’t help but think about ways to keep this moment going. The main issue seemed to be deciding between the sisters.
"How happy could I be with either,
Were t'other dear charmer away."
"How happy could I be with either,
If the other lovely one were gone."
I turned now from one to the other, only to become more bewildered. The lively glance and playful remark of Emmeline, her lovely, smiling visage, and buoyant, unpremeditative air, were triumphant always while I beheld them; but the pensive, earnest look of Susannah, the mellow cadences of her tones, seemed always to sink into my soul, and were certainly remembered longest. Present, Emmeline was irresistible; absent, I thought chiefly of Susannah. Breakfast was fairly over before I came to a decision. We adjourned to the parlour,—and there, with Emmeline at the piano, and Susannah with her Coleridge in hand—her favourite poet—I was quite as much distracted as before. The bravura of the one swept me completely off my feet. And when I pleaded with the other to read me the touching poem of "Genevieve"—-her low, subdued and exquisitely modulated utterance, so touching, so true to the plaintive and seductive sentiment, so harmonious even when broken, so thrilling even when most checked and hushed, was quite as little to be withstood. Like the ass betwixt two bundles of hay, my eyes wandered from one to the other uncertain where to fix. And thus passed the two first hours after breakfast.
I now turned from one to the other, only to feel more confused. Emmeline’s lively gaze and playful comments, her lovely, smiling face, and carefree vibe always made an impression on me; but the thoughtful, serious expression of Susannah, and the rich tones of her voice seemed to resonate deeply within me and were definitely what I remembered the most. When Emmeline was around, she was irresistible; when she wasn’t, I mostly thought of Susannah. Breakfast was nearly over before I made a choice. We moved to the parlor—and there, with Emmeline at the piano and Susannah holding her favorite poet, Coleridge—I was just as distracted as before. The flair of one completely swept me off my feet. And when I asked the other to read me the touching poem "Genevieve"—her soft, gentle, and beautifully modulated voice, so moving and true to the tender and alluring sentiment, so harmonious even when it faltered, so thrilling even when most subdued, was just as hard to resist. Like a donkey stuck between two bales of hay, my eyes wandered from one to the other, unsure where to settle. And so, the first two hours after breakfast passed.
The third brought an acquisition to our party. We heard the trampling of horses' feet in the court below, and all hurried to the windows, to see the new comer. We had but a glimpse of him—a tall, good-looking personage, about thirty years of age, with great whiskers, and a huge military cloak. Squire Owens met him in the reception room, and they remained some half hour or three quarters together. It was evidently a business visit. The girls were all agog to know what it was about, and I was mortified to think that Emmeline was now far less eager to interest me than before. She now turned listlessly over the pages of her music book, or strummed upon the keys of her piano, with the air of one whose thoughts were elsewhere. Susannah did not seem so much disturbed,—she still continued to draw my attention to the more pleasing passages of the poet; but I could see, or I fancied, that even she was somewhat curious as to the coming of the stranger. Her eyes turned occasionally to the parlour door at the slightest approaching sound, and she sometimes looked in my face with a vacant eye, when I was making some of my most favourable points of conversation.
The third arrival brought someone new to our gathering. We heard the sound of horses' hooves in the courtyard below, and everyone rushed to the windows to see the newcomer. We caught just a quick glimpse of him—a tall, handsome man, around thirty, with large whiskers and a big military cloak. Squire Owens met him in the reception room, and they spent about half an hour to three-quarters of an hour together. It was clearly a business visit. The girls were all eager to find out what it was about, and I felt embarrassed to realize that Emmeline seemed much less interested in engaging me than she had before. Now she flipped listlessly through her music book or played casually on the piano, as if her thoughts were somewhere else. Susannah didn’t seem as bothered—she kept drawing my attention to the more enjoyable parts of the poem; yet I noticed, or thought I noticed, that even she was a bit curious about the stranger's arrival. Her eyes would occasionally dart to the parlor door at the faintest sound, and she sometimes looked at me with a distant expression when I was making some of my most engaging points in conversation.
At length there was a stir within, a buzz and the scraping of feet. The door was thrown open, and, ushered by the father, the stranger made his appearance. His air was rather distingué. His person was well made, tall and symmetrical. His face was martial and expressive. His complexion was of a rich dark brown; his eye was grey, large, and restless—his hair thin, and dishevelled. His carriage was very erect; his coat, which was rather seedy, was close buttoned to his chin. His movements were quick and impetuous, and seemed to obey the slightest sound, whether of his own, or of the voices of others. He approached the company with the manner of an old acquaintance; certainly, with that of a man who had always been conversant with the best society. His ease was unobtrusive,—a polite deference invariably distinguishing his deportment whenever he had occasion to address the ladies. Still, he spoke as one having authority. There was a lordly something in his tones,—an emphatic assurance in his gesture,—that seemed to settle every question; and, after a little while, I found that, hereafter, if I played on any fiddle at all, in that presence, it was certainly not to be the first. Emmeline and Susannah had ears for me no longer. There was a something of impatience in the manner of the former whenever I spoke as if I had only interrupted much pleasanter sounds; and, even Susannah, the meek Susannah, put down her Coleridge upon a stool, and seemed all attention, only for the imposing stranger.
Finally, there was a commotion inside, a buzz and the sound of shuffling feet. The door swung open, and the father ushered in the stranger. He had a somewhat distinguished air. He was tall and well-built, with a martial and expressive face. His skin was a rich dark brown; his eyes were large, grey, and restless—his hair was thin and messy. He stood very straight; his coat, which was a bit worn, was buttoned tightly up to his chin. His movements were quick and impulsive, responding to the slightest sound, whether it was his own or someone else's voice. He approached the group like an old friend, certainly with the confidence of someone used to the best circles. His ease was subtle—he always showed polite respect whenever he spoke to the ladies. Still, he spoke with authority. There was something commanding in his tones—an emphatic confidence in his gestures—that seemed to settle every issue; and, before long, I realized that if I ever played any music in his presence, it definitely wouldn’t be first. Emmeline and Susannah no longer paid attention to me. There was a hint of impatience in Emmeline's manner whenever I spoke, as if I had interrupted something far more pleasant; even Susannah, the gentle Susannah, set her Coleridge down on a stool and seemed completely focused on the impressive stranger.
The effect upon the old man was scarcely less agreeable. Col. Nelson,—so was the stranger called—had come to see about the purchase of his upper mill-house tract—a body of land containing some four thousand acres, the sale of which was absolutely necessary to relieve him from certain incumbrances. From the conversation which he had already had with his visitor, it appeared that the preliminaries would be of easy adjustment, and Squire Owens was in the best of all possible humours. It was nothing but Col. Nelson,—Col. Nelson. The girls did not seem to need this influence, though they evidently perceived it; and, in the course of the first half hour after his introduction, I felt myself rapidly becoming de trop. The stranger spoke in passionate bursts,—at first in low tones,—with halting, hesitating manner, then, as if the idea were fairly grasped, he dilated into a torrent of utterance, his voice rising with his thought, until he started from his chair and confronted the listener. I cannot deny that there was a richness in his language, a warmth and colour in his thought, which fascinated while it startled me. It was only when he had fairly ended that one began to ask what had been the provocation to so much warmth, and whether the thought to which we had listened was legitimately the growth of previous suggestions. But I was in no mood to listen to the stranger, or to analyze what he said. I found my situation quite too mortifying—a mortification which was not lessened, when I perceived that neither of the two damsels said a word against my proposed departure. Had they shown but the slightest solicitude, I might have been reconciled to my temporary obscuration. But no! they suffered me to rise and declare my purpose, and made no sign. A cold courtesy from them, and a stately and polite bow from Col. Nelson, acknowledged my parting salutation, and Squire Owens attended me to the threshold, and lingered with me till my horse was got in readiness. As I dashed through the gateway, I could hear the rich voice of Emmeline swelling exultingly with the tones of her piano, and my fancy presented me with the images of Col. Nelson, hanging over her on one hand, while the meek Susannah on the other, was casting those oblique glances upon him which had so frequently been addressed to me. "Ah! pestilent jades," I exclaimed in the bitterness of a boyish heart; "this then is the love of woman."
The effect on the old man was hardly less pleasant. Col. Nelson—what the stranger was called—had come to discuss buying his upper mill-house property—a piece of land that was about four thousand acres, the sale of which was absolutely necessary to get him out of some financial troubles. From the conversation he had already had with his guest, it seemed like the details would be easily worked out, and Squire Owens was in the best mood possible. It was all about Col. Nelson—Col. Nelson. The girls didn’t seem to need this influence, even though they clearly noticed it; and during the first half hour after he was introduced, I felt myself becoming increasingly out of place. The stranger spoke in intense bursts—first in soft tones, with a hesitant, uncertain manner, and then, as if he had fully grasped the idea, he exploded into a stream of words, his voice rising with his thoughts until he jumped up from his chair and faced the listener. I can’t deny there was a richness to his language, a warmth and vibrancy in his thoughts, that captivated and startled me at the same time. It was only when he finally finished that one began to wonder what had stirred such passion, and whether the thoughts we had just heard were genuinely the result of earlier suggestions. But I wasn’t in the mood to listen to the stranger or analyze what he said. I found my situation way too embarrassing—a feeling that didn’t fade when I noticed that neither of the two young women said a word against my planned departure. If they had shown even the slightest concern, I might have been okay with stepping back into the background. But no! They let me get up and announce my intention, showing no sign of protest. A cool politeness from them, and a formal, polite bow from Col. Nelson acknowledged my goodbye, and Squire Owens walked me to the door, lingering with me until my horse was brought around. As I sped through the gate, I could hear Emmeline’s rich voice joyfully rising with the sounds of her piano, and my imagination painted a picture of Col. Nelson leaning over her on one side, while the shy Susannah was casting those sideways glances at him that had so often been directed at me. “Ah! troublesome girls,” I exclaimed in the bitterness of youthful despair; “is this really the love of women?”
CHAPTER IV
Chewing such bitter cud as this, I had probably ridden a good mile, when suddenly I heard the sound of human voices, and looking up, discovered three men, mounted, and just in front of me. They had hauled up, and were seemingly awaiting my approach. A buzzing conversation was going on among them. "That's he!" said one. "Sure?" was the question of another. A whistle at my very side caused me to turn my head, and as I did so, my horse was caught by the bridle, and I received a severe blow from a club above my ears, which brought me down, almost unconscious, upon the ground. In an instant, two stout fellows were upon me, and busy in the praiseworthy toil of roping me, hands and feet, where I lay. Hurt, stung, and utterly confounded by the surprise, I was not prepared to suffer this indignity with patience. I made manful struggle, and for a moment succeeded in shaking off both assailants. But another blow, taking effect upon my temples, and dealt with no moderate appliance of hickory, left me insensible. When I recovered consciousness, I found myself in a cart, my hands tied behind me, my head bandaged with a red cotton handkerchief, and my breast and arms covered with blood. A stout fellow rode beside me in the cart, while another drove, and on each side of the vehicle trotted a man, well armed with a double-barrelled gun.
Chewing on something as bitter as this, I had probably ridden a good mile when I suddenly heard voices. Looking up, I saw three men on horseback right in front of me. They had stopped and seemed to be waiting for me to get closer. They were buzzing with conversation. “That’s him!” one said. “Are you sure?” asked another. A whistle right next to me made me turn my head, and as I did, someone grabbed my horse’s bridle, and I got hit hard on the head with a club, knocking me to the ground, almost unconscious. In an instant, two strong guys were on me, busy tying me up, hands and feet, as I lay there. Hurt, stung, and completely shocked by the surprise, I wasn't ready to endure this humiliation quietly. I made a strong effort to fight back and managed to shake off both of my attackers for a moment. But then another blow landed on my temple, dealt with a hefty piece of hickory, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I found myself in a cart, my hands tied behind me, my head wrapped in a red cotton handkerchief, and my chest and arms covered in blood. A strong guy was sitting next to me in the cart while another one drove, and on each side of the vehicle, a man trotted beside us, well-armed with a double-barreled gun.
"What does all this mean?" I demanded. "Why am I here? Why this assault? What do you mean to do with me?"
"What does all this mean?" I asked. "Why am I here? Why this attack? What do you plan to do with me?"
"Don't be obstropolous," said one of the men. "We don't mean to hurt you; only put you safe. We had to tap you on the head a little, for your own good."
"Don't be difficult," said one of the men. "We don't want to hurt you; we just want to keep you safe. We had to give you a little tap on the head, for your own good."
"Indeed!" I exclaimed, the feeling of that unhappy tapping upon the head, making me only the sorer at every moment—"but will you tell me what this is for, and in what respect did my good require that my head should be broken?"
"Absolutely!" I said, the feeling of that annoying tapping on my head making me more frustrated with each passing moment—"but can you explain what this is about, and how was it necessary for me to have my head broken for my own good?"
"It might have been worse for you, where you was onbeknown," replied the spokesman,—"but we knowd your situation, and sarved you off easily. Be quiet now, and——"
"It could have been worse for you, where you were unaware," replied the spokesperson, "but we knew your situation and let you off easy. Be quiet now, and——"
"What do you mean—what is my situation?"
"What do you mean—what's going on with me?"
"Well, I reckon we know. Only you be quiet, or we'll have to give you the skin."
"Well, I guess we know. Just be quiet, or we'll have to deal with you."
And he held aloft a huge wagon whip as he spoke. I had sufficient proof already of the unscrupulousness with which my companions acted, not to be very chary of giving them farther provocation, and, in silent misgiving, I turned my head to the opposite side of the vehicle. The first glance in this quarter revealed to me the true history of my disaster, and furnished an ample solution of the whole mystery. Who should I behold but the very fellow whom I had chased into town the day before. The truth was now apparent. I had been captured as the stray bedlamite from Hamilton jail. It was because of this that I had been "tapped on the head—only for my own good." As the conjecture flashed upon me, I could not avoid laughter, particularly as I beheld the still doubtful and apprehensive visage of the man beside me. My laughter had a very annoying effect upon all parties. It was a more fearful sign than my anger might have been. The fellow whom I had scared, edged a little farther from the cart, and the man who had played spokesman, and upon whom the whole business seemed to have devolved, now shook his whip again—"None of that, my lad," said he, "or I'll have to bruise you again. Don't be obstropolous."
And he held up a huge wagon whip as he spoke. I already had enough proof of how unscrupulous my companions were to be cautious about provoking them further, so I silently turned my head to the other side of the vehicle. The first look in that direction revealed the true story behind my disaster and explained the entire mystery. Who did I see but the very guy I had chased into town the day before. The truth was now clear. I had been mistaken for the escaped lunatic from Hamilton jail. That was why I had been "tapped on the head—only for my own good." As the realization hit me, I couldn't help but laugh, especially when I saw the still uncertain and nervous face of the man next to me. My laughter annoyed everyone present. It was a more alarming sign than my anger would have been. The guy I had frightened edged a little further away from the cart, and the man who had acted as the spokesman, who seemed to be in charge of the whole situation, shook his whip again and said, "None of that, my lad, or I'll have to hurt you again. Don't be stubborn."
"You've taken me up for a madman, have you?" said I.
"You think I’m crazy, do you?" I said.
"Well, I reckon you ought to know what you are. There's no disputing it."
"Well, I think you should know what you are. There's no arguing with that."
"And this silly fellow has made you believe it?"
"And this foolish guy has convinced you of that?"
"Reckon!"
"Think!"
"You've made a great mistake."
"You've made a big mistake."
"Don't think it."
"Stop overthinking it."
"But you have: Only take me to C——, and I'll prove it by General Cocke, himself, or Squire Humphries, or any body in the town."
"But you have: Just take me to C——, and I'll prove it with General Cocke himself, or Squire Humphries, or anyone in town."
"No! no! my friend,—that cock won't fight. We aint misdoubting at all, but you're the right man. You answer all the descriptions, and Jake Sturgis here, has made his affidavy that you chased him, neck and neck, as mad as any blind puppy in a dry September, for an hour by sun yesterday. We don't want no more proof."
"No! No! My friend, that rooster won’t fight. We’re not doubting at all; you’re the right person. You fit all the descriptions, and Jake Sturgis here has sworn that you chased him, neck and neck, as crazy as a blind puppy in a dry September, for an hour in the sun yesterday. We don’t need any more proof."
"And where do you mean to carry me?" I enquired, with all the coolness I was master of.
"And where do you plan to take me?" I asked, with all the calmness I could muster.
"Well, we'll put you up in a pen we've got a small piece from here; and when the sheriff comes, he'll take you back to your old quarters at Hamilton jail, where I reckon they'll fix you a little tighter than they had you before. We've sent after the sheriff, and his 'spose-you-come-and-take-us,' and I reckon they'll be here about sun-down."
"Well, we’ll put you in a pen we've got a short distance from here; and when the sheriff arrives, he’ll take you back to your old spot at Hamilton jail, where I imagine they’ll keep you a bit more secure than before. We’ve called for the sheriff, and his 'you'd better come and take us,' and I expect they’ll be here around sunset."
CHAPTER V
Here was a "situation" indeed. Burning with indignation, I was yet sufficiently master of myself to see that any ebullition of rage on my part, would only confirm the impression which they had received of my insanity. I said little, therefore, and that little was confined to an attempt to explain the chase of yesterday, which Jake Sturgis had made the subject of such a mischievous "affidavy." But as I could not do this without laughter, I incurred the danger of the whip. My laugh was ominous,—Jake edged off once more to the roadside; the man beside me, got his bludgeon in readiness, and the potent wagon whip of the leader of the party was uplifted in threatening significance. Laughter was clearly out of the question, and it naturally ceased on my part, as I got in sight of the "pen" in which I was to be kept secure. This structure is one well known to the less civilized regions of the country. It is a common place of safe-keeping in the absence of jail and proper officers. It is called technically a "bull pen," and consists of huge logs, roughly put together, crossing at right angles, forming a hollow square,—the logs too massy to be removed, and the structure too high to be climbed, particularly if the prisoner should happen to be, like myself, fairly tied up hand and foot together. I relucted terribly at being put into this place. I pleaded urgently, struggled fiercely, and was thrust in neck and heels without remorse; and, in sheer hopelessness and vexation, I lay with my face prone to the earth, and half buried among the leaves, weeping, I shame to confess it, the bitter tears of impotence and mortification.
Here was a real "situation." Burning with anger, I still managed to control myself enough to realize that losing my temper would only reinforce their belief that I was insane. So, I said very little, and what I did say was focused on trying to explain the chase from yesterday, which Jake Sturgis had turned into such a malicious "affidavit." But since I couldn't do that without laughing, I risked getting whipped. My laughter was foreboding—Jake shifted back to the roadside; the guy next to me readied his club, and the powerful wagon whip held by the leader of the group was raised in a threatening way. Clearly, laughing was out of the question, and it naturally stopped as I approached the "pen" where I was going to be kept secure. This structure is well known in the less civilized parts of the country. It’s a common place of confinement in the absence of a jail and proper authorities. It’s technically called a "bull pen," and consists of huge logs unevenly put together, crossing at right angles to form a hollow square—the logs are too heavy to remove, and the structure is too high to climb, especially if the prisoner happens to be, like me, tied up hand and foot. I was incredibly reluctant about being put in this place. I pleaded desperately, struggled fiercely, and was shoved in, neck and heels, without any compassion. In sheer hopelessness and frustration, I lay face down in the dirt, half buried in the leaves, weeping—shamefully, I confess—bitter tears of powerlessness and humiliation.
Meantime, the news of my capture went through the country;—not my capture, mark me, but that of the famous madman, Archy Dargan, who had broke Hamilton jail. This was an event, and visitors began to collect. My captors, who kept watch on the outside of my den, had their hands full in answering questions. Man, woman and child, Squire and ploughboy, and, finally, dames and damsels, accumulated around me, and such a throng of eyes as pierced the crevices of my log dungeon, to see the strange monster by whom they were threatened, now disarmed of his terrors, were,—to use the language of one of my keepers—"a power to calkilate." This was not the smallest part of my annoyance. The logs were sufficiently far apart to suffer me to see and to be seen, and I crouched closer to my rushes, and buried my face more thoroughly than ever, if possible, to screen my dishonoured visage from their curious scrutiny. This conduct mightily offended some of the visitors.
In the meantime, news of my capture spread throughout the country—not my capture, mind you, but that of the notorious madman, Archy Dargan, who had escaped from Hamilton jail. This was a big deal, and people started to gather. My captors, who were keeping watch outside my hiding place, had their hands full answering questions. Men, women, children, farmers, and finally, ladies and young girls all gathered around me. The sheer number of eyes peering through the gaps in my log prison to catch a glimpse of the strange creature they felt threatened by, now stripped of his menace, was— to quote one of my guards—"something to reckon with." This was just one of the many things that annoyed me. The logs were spaced wide enough for me to see and be seen, so I huddled closer to my rushes and buried my face deeper than ever to hide my shamed features from their curious gazes. This behavior greatly irritated some of the visitors.
"I can't see his face," said one.
"I can't see his face," said one.
"Stir him with a long pole!"—and I was greatly in danger of being treated as a surly bear, refusing to dance for his keeper; since one of mine seemed very much disposed to gratify the spectator, and had actually begun sharpening the end of a ten foot hickory, for the purpose of pricking me into more sociableness. He was prevented from carrying his generous design into effect by the suggestion of one of his companions. "Better don't, Bosh; if ever he should git out agen, he'd put his ear mark upon you." "Reckon you're right," was the reply of the other, as he laid his rod out of sight.
"Provoke him with a long stick!"—and I was seriously at risk of being seen as a grumpy bear, unwilling to perform for his keeper; since one of mine seemed quite eager to please the audience and had actually started sharpening the end of a ten-foot hickory stick, intending to poke me into being more friendly. He was stopped from following through with his well-meaning idea by one of his friends' advice. "Better not, Bosh; if he ever gets out again, he’ll remember you." "Guess you're right," the other replied as he put his stick away.
Meanwhile, the people came and went, each departing visitor sending others. A couple of hours might have elapsed leaving me in this humiliating situation, chained to the stake, the beast of a bear garden, with fifty greedy and still dissatisfied eyes upon me. Of these, fully one fourth were of the tender gender; some pitied me, some laughed, and all congratulated themselves that I was safely laid by the heels, incapable of farther mischief. It was not the most agreeable part of their remarks, to find that they all universally agreed that I was a most frightful looking object. Whether they saw my face or not, they all discovered that I glared frightfully upon them, and I heard one or two of them ask in under tones, "did you see his teeth—-how sharp!" I gnashed them with a vengeance all the while, you may be sure.
Meanwhile, people came and went, each departing visitor bringing in more. A couple of hours might have passed, leaving me in this embarrassing situation, tied to the stake in the bear garden, with fifty greedy and still unsatisfied eyes on me. Of these, about a quarter were women; some felt sorry for me, some laughed, and all congratulated themselves that I was safely restrained, unable to cause any more trouble. It wasn’t the most pleasant part of their comments to realize that they all agreed I looked absolutely frightening. Whether they saw my face or not, they all noticed that I was glaring at them intensely, and I heard one or two of them whisper, "Did you see his teeth—how sharp!" You can bet I was gnashing them with great intensity the whole time.
CHAPTER VI
The last and worst humiliation was yet to come—that which put me for a long season out of humour with all human and woman nature. Conscious of an unusual degree of bustle without, I was suddenly startled by sounds of a voice that had been once pleasingly familiar. It was that of a female, a clear, soft, transparent sound, which, till this moment, had never been associated in my thoughts with any thing but the most perfect of all mortal melodies. It was now jangled harsh, like "sweet bells out of tune." The voice was that of Emmeline. "Good heavens!" I exclaimed to myself—"can she be here?" In another instant, I heard that of Susannah—the meek Susannah,—she too was among the curious to examine the features of the bedlamite, Archy Dargan. "Dear me," said Emmeline, "is he in that place?"
The last and worst humiliation was still to come—that which left me feeling bitter toward all humanity and women for a long time. Aware of an unusual amount of activity outside, I was suddenly shocked by a voice that had once been pleasingly familiar. It belonged to a woman, a clear, soft, transparent sound, which until this moment had been associated in my mind only with the most beautiful of all human melodies. Now it sounded off-key, like "sweet bells out of tune." The voice belonged to Emmeline. "Good heavens!" I thought to myself—"could she be here?" In a moment, I also heard Susannah's voice—gentle Susannah—she too was among the curious looking to see the features of the madman, Archy Dargan. "Dear me," said Emmeline, "is he in that place?"
"What a horrid place!" said Susannah.
"What a terrible place!" said Susannah.
"It's the very place for such a horrid creature," responded Emmeline.
"It's the perfect place for such a horrible creature," Emmeline replied.
"Can't he get out, papa?" said Susannah. "Isn't a mad person very strong?"
"Can't he get out, Dad?" asked Susannah. "Isn't a crazy person really strong?"
"Oh! don't frighten a body, Susannah, before we have had a peep," cried Emmeline; "I declare I'm afraid to look—do, Col. Nelson, peep first and see if there's no danger." And there was the confounded Col. Nelson addressing his eyes to my person, and assuring his fair companions, my Emmeline, my Susannah, that there was no sort of danger,—that I was evidently in one of my fits of apathy.
"Oh! Don’t scare me, Susannah, before we’ve had a look," Emmeline exclaimed. "I swear I’m scared to peek—go on, Col. Nelson, check first and make sure there’s no danger." And there was the annoying Col. Nelson looking at me and reassuring my lovely companions, Emmeline and Susannah, that there was no danger at all—that I was clearly just in one of my apathetic moods.
"The paroxysm is off for the moment, ladies,—and even if he were violent, it is impossible that he should break through the pen. He seems quite harmless—you may look with safety."
"The outburst is over for now, ladies—and even if he were aggressive, it’s unlikely he could get past the cage. He seems pretty harmless—you can look without worry."
"Yes, he's mighty quiet now, Miss,"—said one of my keepers encouragingly, "but it's all owing to a close sight of my whip. He was a-guine to be obstropolous more than once, when I shook it over him—he's usen to it, I reckon. You can always tell when the roaring fit is coming on—for he breaks out in such a dreadful sort of laughing."
"Yeah, he's really quiet right now, Miss," said one of my keepers encouragingly, "but it's all because he got a good look at my whip. He was about to be really unruly more than once when I waved it over him—he's used to it, I guess. You can always tell when he's about to have a fit because he starts laughing in this awful way."
"Ha! Ha!—he laughs does he—Ha! Ha!" such was the somewhat wild interruption offered by Col. Nelson himself. If my laugh produced such an effect upon my keeper, his had a very disquieting effect upon me. But, the instinctive conviction that Emmeline and Susannah were now gazing upon me, prompted me with a sort of fascination, to lift my head and look for them. I saw their eyes quite distinctly. Bright treacheries! I could distinguish between them—and there were those of Col. Nelson beside them—the three persons evidently in close propinquity.
"Ha! Ha!—he's laughing, huh—Ha! Ha!" such was the somewhat wild interruption from Colonel Nelson himself. If my laugh had such an effect on my guard, his had a very unsettling effect on me. But the instinctive feeling that Emmeline and Susannah were now looking at me made me, almost in a trance, lift my head and search for them. I clearly saw their eyes. Bright deceivers! I could tell them apart—and there were Colonel Nelson's eyes next to theirs—the three of them clearly very close together.
"What a dreadful looking creature!" said Susannah.
"What an awful-looking creature!" said Susannah.
"Dreadful!" said Emmeline, "I see nothing so dreadful in him. He seems tame enough. I'm sure, if that's a madman, I don't see why people should be afraid of them."
"Dreadful!" said Emmeline, "I don't see anything so dreadful about him. He seems pretty calm. I'm sure, if that's a madman, I don't understand why people are scared of them."
"Poor man, how bloody he is!" said Susannah.
"Poor guy, he's so bloody!" said Susannah.
"We had to tap him, Miss, a leetle upon the head, to bring him quiet. He's tame and innocent now, but you should see him when he's going to break out. Only just hear him when he laughs."
"We had to tap him, Miss, a little on the head, to quiet him down. He's calm and harmless now, but you should see him when he's about to lose it. Just listen to him when he laughs."
I could not resist the temptation. The last remark of my keeper fell on my ears like a suggestion, and suddenly shooting up my head, and glaring fiercely at the spectators, I gave them a yell of laughter as terrible as I could possibly make it.
I couldn’t resist the temptation. The last comment from my keeper hit my ears like a suggestion, and suddenly, I shot up my head and glared fiercely at the audience, letting out a laugh as loud and terrifying as I could manage.
"Ah!" was the shriek of Susannah, as she dashed back from the logs. Before the sounds had well ceased, they were echoed from without and in more fearful and natural style from the practised lungs of Col. Nelson. His yells following mine, were enough to startle even me.
"Ah!" was Susannah's scream as she ran back from the logs. Before the sounds had fully faded, they were echoed from outside and in a more terrifying and instinctive way from the practiced lungs of Col. Nelson. His yells following mine were enough to startle even me.
"What!" he cried, thrusting his fingers through the crevice, "you would come out, would you,—you would try your strength with mine. Let him out,—let him out! I am ready for him, breast to breast, man against man, tooth and nail, forever and forever. You can laugh too, but— Ha! Ha! Ha!—what do you say to that? Shut up, shut up, and be ashamed of yourself. Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"What!" he shouted, pushing his fingers through the gap, "you want to come out, huh?—you want to test your strength against mine. Let him out—let him out! I'm ready for him, face to face, man to man, fighting tooth and nail, forever and ever. You can laugh too, but—Ha! Ha! Ha!—what do you think of that? Just shut up, shut up, and be ashamed of yourself. Ha! Ha! Ha!"
There was a sensation without. I could see that Emmeline recoiled from the side of her companion. He had thrown himself into an attitude, had grappled the logs of my dungeon, and exhibited a degree of strange emotion, which, to say the least, took everybody by surprise. My chief custodian was the first to speak.
There was a feeling in the air. I could see that Emmeline flinched away from her companion. He had positioned himself dramatically, had grasped the logs of my cell, and showed a level of intense emotion that, to put it mildly, caught everyone off guard. My main guard was the first to respond.
"Don't be scared, Mr.—there's no danger—he can't get out."
"Don't worry, sir—there's no danger—he can't get out."
"But I say let him out—let him out. Look at him, ladies—look at him. You shall see what a madman is—you shall see how I can manage him. Hark ye, fellow,—out with him at once. Give me your whip—I know all about his treatment. You shall see me work him. I'll manage him,—I'll fight with him, and laugh with him too—how we shall laugh—Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"But I say let him out—let him out. Look at him, ladies—look at him. You’ll see what a madman is—you’ll see how I can handle him. Listen here, guy—let him out right now. Hand me your whip—I know exactly how he’s been treated. You’ll see me work with him. I’ll handle him—I’ll fight with him, and laugh with him too—just wait till we start laughing—Ha! Ha! Ha!"
His horrible laughter—for it was horrible—was cut short by an unexpected incident. He was knocked down as suddenly as I had been, with a blow from behind, to the astonishment of all around. The assailant was the sheriff of Hamilton jail, who had just arrived and detected the fugitive, Archy Dargan—the most cunning of all bedlamites, as he afterwards assured me—in the person of the handsome Col. Nelson.
His awful laughter—because it really was awful—came to an abrupt halt due to an unexpected event. He was knocked down just as suddenly as I had been, with a blow from behind, shocking everyone around. The attacker was the sheriff of Hamilton jail, who had just arrived and recognized the fugitive, Archy Dargan—the smartest of all the lunatics, as he later told me—disguised as the attractive Col. Nelson.
"I knew the scamp by his laugh—I heard it half a mile," said the sheriff, as he planted himself upon the bosom of the prostrate man, and proceeded to leash him in proper order. Here was a concatenation accordingly.
"I recognized the troublemaker by his laugh—I heard it from half a mile away," said the sheriff, as he positioned himself over the fallen man and got him securely restrained. This was quite the situation.
"Who hev' I got in the pen?" was the sapient inquiry of my captor—the fellow whose whip had been so potent over my imagination.
"Who do I have in the pen?" was the wise question from my captor—the guy whose whip had been so powerful over my imagination.
"Who? Have you any body there?" demanded the sheriff.
"Who? Is anyone there?" asked the sheriff.
"I reckon!—We cocht a chap that Jake made affidavy was the madman."
"I think!—We caught a guy that Jake said was the madman."
"Let him out then, and beg the man's pardon. I'll answer for Archy Dargan."
"Let him out then, and apologize to the guy. I’ll take responsibility for Archy Dargan."
My appearance before the astonished damsels was gratifying to neither of us. I was covered with mud and blood,—and they with confusion.
My appearance in front of the shocked young women was disappointing for both of us. I was covered in mud and blood, and they were filled with embarrassment.
"Oh! Mr. ——, how could we think it was you, such a fright as they've made you."
"Oh! Mr. ——, how could we think it was you with such a fright they've made of you."
Such was Miss Emmeline's speech after her recovery. Susannah's was quite as characteristic.
Such was Miss Emmeline's speech after her recovery. Susannah's was just as characteristic.
"I am so very sorry, Mr. ——."
"I'm really sorry, Mr. ——."
"Spare your regrets, ladies," I muttered ungraciously, as I leapt on my horse. "I wish you a very pleasant morning."
"Save your regrets, ladies," I said ungraciously as I jumped on my horse. "I hope you have a lovely morning."
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" yelled the bedlamite, writhing and bounding in his leash—"a very pleasant morning."
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" shouted the madman, twisting and jumping in his leash—"what a lovely morning."
The damsels took to their heels, and went off in one direction quite as fast as I did in the other. Since that day, dear reader, I have never suffered myself to scare a fool, or to fall in love with a pair of twins; and if ever I marry, take my word for it, the happy woman shall neither be a Susannah, nor an Emmeline.
The young women ran off in one direction just as quickly as I went in the other. Since that day, dear reader, I have never allowed myself to frighten a fool or to fall in love with a pair of twins; and if I ever get married, believe me, the lucky woman will not be a Susannah or an Emmeline.
THE CHIROPODIST
By BAYARD TAYLOR
R. Henry Bartlett was one of three gentlemen who rode from the railroad station to Moore's Hotel, at Trenton Falls, on the top of an omnibus; and who, having clambered down from that lofty perch, under the inspection of forty pairs of eyes leveled at them from the balcony, hastened to inscribe their names in the book, and secure the keys of their several chambers. To no one of the three, however, was this privacy so welcome as to Mr. Bartlett, who, entering his room with flushed face, nervously dismissed the servant, locked the door, and dropped into a chair with a pant of relief. Our business being entirely with him, we shall at once dismiss his two companions—whom, indeed, we have only introduced as accessories to the principal figure—and, taking our invisible seats in the opposite chair, proceed to a contemplation of his person.
R. Henry Bartlett was one of three gentlemen who rode from the train station to Moore's Hotel, at Trenton Falls, on top of a bus. After climbing down from their high spot, with forty pairs of eyes watching them from the balcony, they rushed to sign their names in the book and get the keys to their rooms. However, none of the three appreciated this privacy as much as Mr. Bartlett, who, entering his room with a flushed face, nervously dismissed the servant, locked the door, and collapsed into a chair with a sigh of relief. Since our focus is entirely on him, we will now set aside his two companions—whom we only mentioned as side characters—and, taking our invisible seats in the other chair, begin to observe him.
Age—four, perhaps five, and twenty—certainly not more; height, five feet nine inches, with well-developed breast and shoulders; limbs, whose firm, ample muscle betrays itself through the straight lines of his light summer costume, and hands and feet of agreeable shape; complexion fair, with a skin of feminine fineness and transparency, whereon the uncontrollable blood writes his emotions so palpably that he who runs may read; eyes of a clear, honest blue, but so shy of meeting a steady gaze that few know how beautiful they really are; mouth full and sensitive, and of so rich and dewy a red that we can not help wishing he were a woman that we might be pardoned for kissing it; forehead broad, and rather low; hair—but here we hesitate, for his enemies would certainly call it red. Indeed, in some lights it is red, but its prevailing tint is brown, with a bronze lustre on the curls. As he sits thus, unconscious of our observation, he is certainly handsome, in spite of a haunting air of timidity which weakens the expression of features not weak in themselves. On further observation, we are inclined to believe that he has not achieved that easy poise of self-possession which, in men of becoming modesty, is the result of more or less social experience. He belongs, evidently, to that class of awkward, honest, warm-hearted, and sensitive natures whom all men like, and some women.
Age—around twenty-four or twenty-five—definitely not older; height, five feet nine inches, with a well-defined chest and shoulders; limbs, with strong, ample muscles that show through the straight lines of his light summer outfit, and hands and feet that are nicely shaped; complexion fair, with a skin that’s soft and translucent, where his emotions are displayed so visibly that anyone can see them; eyes of a clear, honest blue, but so shy about making eye contact that few realize how beautiful they actually are; a full and sensitive mouth, with such a rich and dewy red that you can’t help wishing he were a woman so it would be more acceptable to kiss it; forehead broad and somewhat low; hair—but here we pause because his enemies would definitely call it red. Indeed, in certain lights, it appears red, but its main shade is brown with a bronze shine in the curls. As he sits there, unaware of us watching, he is undeniably handsome, despite a lingering sense of shyness that softens the features that aren’t weak on their own. On closer inspection, we start to believe he hasn’t mastered that effortless composure typical of modest men that comes from having some social experience. He clearly belongs to that group of awkward, genuine, warm-hearted, and sensitive individuals who are liked by all men and some women.
Mr. Bartlett's reflections, after his arrival, were—we have good reason to know—after this fashion: "When will I cease to be a fool? Why couldn't I stare back at all those people on the balcony as coolly as the two fellows who sat beside me? Why couldn't I get down without missing the step and grazing my shin on the wheel? Why should I walk into the house with my head down, and a million of cold little needles pricking my back, because men and women, and not sheep, were looking at me? I have at least an average body, as men go—an average intellect, too, I think; yet every day I see spindly, brainless squirts [Mr. Bartlett would not have used this epithet in conversation, but it certainly passed through his mind] put me to shame by their self-possession. The women think me a fool because I have not the courage to be natural and unembarrassed, and I carry the consciousness of the fact about me whenever I meet them. Come, come: this will never do. I am a man, and I ought to possess the ordinary resolution of a man. Now, here's a chance to turn over a new leaf. Nobody knows me; no one will notice me particularly; and whether I fail or succeed, the experiment will never be brought forward to my confusion hereafter."
Mr. Bartlett's thoughts after he arrived were—and we know this for sure—something like this: "When will I stop being such a fool? Why couldn’t I stare back at all those people on the balcony as calmly as the two guys sitting next to me? Why couldn’t I walk down without missing a step and banging my shin on the wheel? Why do I have to walk into the house with my head down, feeling like a million cold little needles are pricking my back, just because it’s men and women looking at me, not sheep? I have at least an average build, like most men—and I think I have an average brain, too; yet every day I see skinny, clueless guys [Mr. Bartlett wouldn’t use this word in conversation, but it definitely crossed his mind] making me feel inadequate with their confidence. The women think I’m a fool because I don’t have the guts to be natural and relaxed, and I feel that awareness weighing on me every time I see them. Come on, this can't continue. I’m a man, and I should have the basic confidence of a man. Now, here’s a chance to start fresh. Nobody knows me; no one will really pay attention to me; and whether I succeed or fail, this experiment won’t come back to embarrass me later."
Full of a sudden courage he sprang to his feet, and carefully adjusted his toilet for the tea-table, whistling cheerfully all the while. At the sound of the gong he descended the staircase, and approached the dining-room with head erect, meeting the gaze of the other guests with a steadiness which resembled defiance. He was surprised to find how mechanical and transitory were the glances he encountered. As Mr. Bartlett's friend, I should not like to assert that in his efforts to appear self-possessed he approached the bounds of effrontery; but I have my own private suspicions about the matter. At the table a lively conversation was carried on, and he was able to take many stealthy observations of the ladies without being noticed. To his shame I must confess that he had never been seriously in love, though it was a condition he most earnestly desired. Attracted toward women by the instinct of his nature, and repelled by his awkward embarrassment, there seemed little chance that he would ever attain it. On this particular occasion, however, he cast his eyes around with the air of a sultan scanning his slaves before throwing the handkerchief to the chosen one. The female guests—old, young, married, single, ill-favored or beautiful—were subjected to the review. It is impossible to describe Mr. Bartlett's satisfaction with himself.
Full of sudden courage, he jumped to his feet and carefully got ready for the tea table, whistling cheerfully the whole time. When he heard the gong, he walked down the stairs and approached the dining room with his head held high, meeting the other guests' gazes with a steadiness that felt like defiance. He was surprised at how mechanical and fleeting the looks he received were. As Mr. Bartlett's friend, I wouldn't say he crossed into being shameless in his attempts to appear composed, but I have my own suspicions about that. At the table, a lively conversation flowed, and he managed to observe the women discreetly without being noticed. To my shame, I must admit he had never truly been in love, even though he desperately wanted that feeling. Drawn to women by nature but held back by his awkwardness, it seemed unlikely he would ever find it. This time, however, he looked around like a sultan scanning his subjects before choosing one with a handkerchief. The female guests—old, young, married, single, plain, or beautiful—were all under his scrutiny. It's impossible to convey Mr. Bartlett's self-satisfaction.
He had passed over twenty-nine of the thirty-five ladies present without experiencing any special emotion; but at the thirtieth he was suddenly attacked by a recurrence of his habitual timidity. He fixed his eyes upon his toast, painfully conscious by the warmth of his ears that he was blushing violently, and actually drank a third cup of tea (one more than his usual allowance) before he became sufficiently composed to look up again. Really there was no cause for confusion. Her face was turned away, so that even the profile was not wholly visible; but the exquisite line of the forehead and cheek, bent inward at the angle of the unseen eye, and melting into the sweep of the neck and shoulder, were the surest possible prophecies of beauty. Her chestnut hair, rippled at the temples, was gathered into a heavy, shining knot at the back of her head, and inwoven with the varnished, heart-shaped leaves of the smilax. More than this Mr. Bartlett did not dare to notice.
He had gone past twenty-nine of the thirty-five ladies in the room without feeling anything out of the ordinary; but when he got to the thirtieth, a wave of his usual shyness hit him. He focused on his toast, acutely aware of his ears burning, knowing he was blushing deeply, and ended up drinking a third cup of tea (one more than he usually had) before he felt calm enough to look up again. Honestly, there was no reason to feel flustered. Her face was turned away, so he couldn't see it fully; however, the graceful curve of her forehead and cheek, sloping toward the hidden eye, blending into the curve of her neck and shoulder, hinted at undeniable beauty. Her chestnut hair, gently waving at the temples, was styled into a thick, shiny bun at the back of her head, intertwined with glossy, heart-shaped leaves of the smilax. That was as much as Mr. Bartlett dared to take in.
During the evening he flitted restlessly about the rooms, intent on an object which he thus explained to himself: "I should like to see whether her front face corresponds to the outline of her cheek. I am alone; it is too late to visit the Falls, and a whim of this sort will help me to pass the time." But the lady belonged, apparently, to a numerous party, who took possession of one end of the balcony and sat in the moonlight, in such a position that he could not see her features with distinctness. The face was a pure oval, in a frame-work of superb hair, and the glossy leaves of smilax glittered like silver in the moonlight whenever she chanced to turn her head. There were songs, and she sang—"Scenes that are brightest," or something of the kind, suggested by the influences of the night. Her voice was clear and sweet, without much strength—one of those voices which seem to be made for singing to one ear alone. "Here, by God's grace, is the one voice for me," thought Mr. Bartlett. [He had just been reading the "Idyls of the King."] He slipped off to bed, saying to himself: "A little more courage, and I may be able to make her acquaintance."
During the evening, he moved restlessly around the rooms, focused on a thought that he explained to himself: "I want to see if her front face matches the outline of her cheek. I'm alone; it's too late to visit the Falls, and this whim will help me pass the time." However, the lady seemed to be part of a large group that occupied one end of the balcony, sitting in the moonlight in a way that made it hard for him to see her features clearly. Her face was a perfect oval, framed by beautiful hair, and the glossy smilax leaves sparkled like silver in the moonlight whenever she turned her head. There were songs, and she sang—"Scenes that are brightest," or something similar, inspired by the atmosphere of the night. Her voice was clear and sweet, but not very powerful—one of those voices that seem meant for singing just for one person. "Here, by God's grace, is the voice for me," Mr. Bartlett thought. [He had just been reading the "Idyls of the King."] He went to bed, telling himself: "Just a little more courage, and I might be able to meet her."
In the morning he set out to make the tour of the Falls. Entering the glen from below, he slowly crept up the black shelves of rock, under and around the rush of the amber waters. The naiads of Trenton, waving their scarfs of rainbow brede, tossed their foam fringes in his face: above, the dryads of the pine and beech looked down from their seats on the brink of the overhanging walls. Mr. Bartlett was neither a poet nor a painter, nor was it necessary; but his temperament (as you may know from his skin and the color of his hair) was joyous and excitable, and he felt a degree of delight that made him forget his own self. I fancy there are no embarrassing conventionalisms at the bottom of the earth—wherever that may be—and the glen at Trenton is two hundred feet on the way thither. Our friend enjoyed to the full this partial release, and was surprised to find that he could assist several married ladies to climb the slippery steps at the High Pall without consciously blushing.
In the morning, he set out to explore the Falls. Entering the glen from below, he slowly made his way up the dark rock ledges, weaving around the rushing amber waters. The naiads of Trenton, waving their rainbow scarves, splashed their foam in his face; above, the dryads of the pine and beech looked down from their perches on the edge of the overhanging cliffs. Mr. Bartlett wasn’t a poet or a painter, nor did he need to be; but his temperament (as you can tell from his skin and hair color) was cheerful and lively, and he felt a level of joy that made him forget himself. I imagine there are no awkward social norms at the bottom of the earth—wherever that might be—and the glen at Trenton is two hundred feet on the way there. Our friend fully enjoyed this brief sense of freedom and was pleasantly surprised to find that he could help several married women navigate the slippery steps at the High Pall without blushing.
How it came to pass he never could rightly tell, but certain it is that, on lifting his eyes after a long contemplation of the shifting slides of fretted amber, he found himself alone in the glen—with the exception of a young lady who sat on the rocks a few paces distant. At the first glance he thought it was a child, for the slight form was habited in a Bloomer dress, and a broad hat shaded the graceful head. The wide trowsers were gathered around her ankles, and a pair of the prettiest feet he had ever seen dangled in the edge of the swift stream. She was idly plucking up tufts of grass from the crevices of the rock, and tossing them in the mouth of the cataract, and her face was partly turned toward him. It was the fair unknown of the evening before! There was no mistaking the lovely cheek and the rippled chestnut hair.
How it happened, he could never quite say, but it was clear that when he finally looked up after staring at the shifting patterns of amber, he found himself alone in the glen—except for a young woman sitting on the rocks a few steps away. At first glance, he thought she was a child because her slender figure was dressed in a Bloomer outfit, and a wide-brimmed hat shaded her elegant head. The loose trousers gathered around her ankles, and a pair of the prettiest feet he had ever seen dangled at the edge of the fast-flowing stream. She was leisurely pulling tufts of grass from the crevices of the rock and tossing them into the waterfall's mouth, and her face was partly turned toward him. It was the beautiful stranger from the previous evening! There was no mistaking her lovely cheek and the wavy chestnut hair.
Mr. Bartlett felt—as he afterward expressed himself—a warm, sweet shudder run through all his veins. Alone with that lovely creature, below the outside surface of the earth! "Oh, if I could but speak to her! Her dress shows that she can lay aside the soulless forms of society in such a place as this: why not I? There's Larkin, and Kirkland, and lots of fellows I know, wouldn't hesitate a moment. But what shall I say? 'The scenery's very fine?' Pshaw! But the first sentence is the only difficulty—-the rest will come of itself. What if I address her boldly as an old acquaintance, and then apologize for my mistake? Upon my word, a good idea! So natural and possible!"
Mr. Bartlett felt—a feeling he later described—as a warm, sweet shiver running through all his veins. Alone with that beautiful person, beneath the surface of the earth! "Oh, if I could just talk to her! Her outfit shows that she can put aside the empty rules of society in a place like this: why can't I? There’s Larkin, and Kirkland, and plenty of guys I know who wouldn’t think twice. But what should I say? ‘The view is really nice?’ Pshh! But the first sentence is the only real challenge—the rest will follow naturally. What if I confidently greet her like an old friend and then apologize for my mistake? Honestly, what a great idea! So simple and feasible!"
Having determined upon this plan, he immediately put it into action before the resolve had time to cool. His step was firm and his bearing was sufficiently confident as he approached her; but when she lifted her long lashes, disclosing a pair of large, limpid, hazel eyes, which regarded him, unabashed, with the transient curiosity one bestows upon a stranger, his face, I am sure, betrayed the humbug of the thing. The lady, however, not anticipating what followed, could scarcely have remarked it.
Having made this plan, he quickly set it in motion before his determination could fade. He walked confidently as he approached her, but when she raised her long lashes to reveal her large, clear hazel eyes, looking at him with the momentary curiosity one gives to a stranger, his face surely showed the insincerity of the situation. However, the lady, not expecting what came next, likely didn't notice it at all.
Raising his hat as he reached the corner of the rock upon which she sat, he said, in a voice so curiously balanced between his enforced boldness and his reflected surprise thereat, that he hardly recognized it as his own:
Raising his hat as he got to the edge of the rock where she sat, he said, in a voice that was an odd mix of his forced confidence and his genuine surprise, making him barely recognize it as his own:
"How do you do, Miss Lawrence?"
"How's it going, Miss Lawrence?"
The lady looked at him wonderingly—steady, child-like eyes, that frankly and innocently perused his face, as if seeking for some trace of a forgotten acquaintance. Mr. Bartlett could not withdraw his, although he knew that his face was getting redder and his respiration more unsteady every moment. He stammered forth:
The woman looked at him with curiosity—steady, child-like eyes that openly and innocently studied his face, as if trying to find a hint of a lost connection. Mr. Bartlett couldn't look away, even though he realized his face was getting redder and his breathing more erratic with every passing moment. He stammered out:
"Miss Lawrence, of South Carolina, I believe."
"Miss Lawrence from South Carolina, I think."
"You are mistaken, Sir," said the lady, with the least shade of coldness in her voice, but it fell upon Mr. Bartlett like the wind from an iceberg—"I am not Miss Lawrence."
"You’re mistaken, Sir," the lady said, her voice slightly chilly, but it hit Mr. Bartlett like a gust from an iceberg—"I am not Miss Lawrence."
"I—I beg your pardon," he answered, somewhat confusedly. "You resemble her; I expected to meet her here. Will you please tell her I enquired for her? Here's my card!" Therewith he thrust both hands into his vest pockets, extracted a card from one of them, and laid it hastily upon the rock beside her.
"I—I’m sorry," he replied, a bit confused. "You look like her; I thought I’d find her here. Can you please tell her I asked for her? Here’s my card!" With that, he put both hands in his vest pockets, pulled out a card from one of them, and quickly placed it on the rock next to her.
"Bertha! Bertha!" rang through the glen, above the roar of the waterfall. The remainder of the party which the young lady had preceded now came into view descending toward her.
"Bertha! Bertha!" echoed through the valley, above the sound of the waterfall. The rest of the group that the young lady had led was now in sight, coming down toward her.
"Good-day, Miss Lawrence!" said Mr. Bartlett, again lifting his hat, and retracing his steps. For his life he could not have passed her and run the gauntlet of the faces of her friends upon the narrow path. Every soul of them would have instantly seen what a fool he was. Moreover, he had achieved enough for one day. The soldier who storms a perilous breach and finds himself alive on the inside of it could not be more astonished than he. "I blundered awfully," he thought; "but, after all, it's the one way to learn."—"Who's your friend, Bertha?" asked her brother, Dick Morris, the avant-guard of the party. "I never saw the fellow before."
"Good day, Miss Lawrence!" Mr. Bartlett said, tipping his hat again and stepping back. He couldn't just walk past her and face all the looks from her friends on the narrow path. They would have all seen how foolish he was. Besides, he'd accomplished enough for the day. The soldier who charges into a dangerous situation and makes it out alive would feel just as shocked as he did. "I really messed up," he thought; "but, honestly, that's how you learn."—"Who's your friend, Bertha?" asked her brother, Dick Morris, who was leading the group. "I've never seen this guy before."
"If you had not frightened him by your sudden appearance," said she, "you might have discovered. A Southerner, I suppose, though he don't look like one. He addressed me as Miss Lawrence, of South Carolina, and afterwards left me his card, to be given to her. What shall I do with it?"
"If you hadn't scared him with your sudden appearance," she said, "you might have found out. He's a Southerner, I guess, though he doesn't look like one. He called me Miss Lawrence from South Carolina, and later he left me his card to give to her. What should I do with it?"
"Ha! the card will tell us who he is," said Dick, picking it up. He instantly burst into a roar of laughter. "Ha! ha! This comes of wearing a Bloomer, Bertha! Though I must say it's by no means complimentary to your little feet. Who'd suspect you of having corns?"
"Ha! The card will tell us who he is," said Dick, picking it up. He instantly burst into laughter. "Ha! Ha! This is what happens when you wear a Bloomer, Bertha! Although I have to say, it's not very flattering to your little feet. Who would suspect you of having corns?"
"Dick, what do you mean?"
"Dick, what do you mean?"
"Ha! ha! no doubt I came at the nick of time to prevent him from pulling off your shoes."
"Ha! Ha! I'm sure I showed up just in time to stop him from taking off your shoes."
"DICK!"
"Dude!"
Therewith she impatiently jerked the card from her brother's hand. It was large, thick, handsomely glazed, and contained the following inscription:
Therewith she impatiently snatched the card from her brother's hand. It was large, thick, nicely shiny, and had the following inscription:
PROFESSOR HURLBUT,
Chiropodist
To her Majesty Queen Victoria, and the
Nobility of Great Britain.
"Incredible!" she exclaimed. "So young, and embarrassed in his manners; how could he ever have taken hold of the Queen's foot?"
"Incredible!" she exclaimed. "So young, and awkward in his manners; how could he have ever taken hold of the Queen's foot?"
"Embarrassed indeed!" said Dick. "I think he has a very cool way of procuring patients. But, faith, he's chosen a romantic operating-room. After climbing down these rocks the corns naturally begin to twinge, and here's the Professor on hand. Behold the march of civilization!"
"Totally embarrassed!" said Dick. "I think he has a pretty cool way of getting patients. But honestly, he’s picked a romantic spot for the operating room. After climbing down these rocks, my corns are starting to hurt, and here comes the Professor. Look at how far civilization has come!"
Bertha did not fall into her brother's vein of badinage, as usual. She was vexed that the fresh, manly face and blue eyes into which she had looked belonged to a charlatan, and vexed at herself for being vexed thereat. It was not so easy, however, to dismiss Professor Hurlbut from her mind, for Dick had related the incident to the others of the party, with his own embellishments, and numberless were the jokes to which it gave rise throughout the day.
Bertha didn’t engage in her brother’s playful teasing like she usually did. She was annoyed that the fresh, manly face and blue eyes she admired belonged to a fraud, and she was also frustrated with herself for feeling that way. However, it wasn't so easy to forget about Professor Hurlbut, since Dick had shared the story with the rest of the group, adding his own flair, and it sparked countless jokes throughout the day.
Meantime Mr. Bartlett, in happy ignorance of the worst blunder he had ever made, returned to the hotel. The day previous, at Utica, he had been annoyed by an itinerant extractor of corns, suppressor of bunions, and regulator of irregular nails, whose proffered card he had put into his pocket in order to get rid of the man. It was this card which he had presented to Miss Morris as his own. On reaching the hotel he easily ascertained her real name and place of residence, with the additional fact that the party were to leave for Saratoga on the morrow. It occurred to him also that Saratoga, in the height of the season, would be well worth a visit.
Meanwhile, Mr. Bartlett, blissfully unaware of the biggest mistake he had ever made, returned to the hotel. The day before, in Utica, he had been bothered by a traveling corn remover, bunion fixer, and nail trimmer, whose business card he had taken just to get rid of the guy. It was this card that he had shown to Miss Morris as if it were his own. Upon arriving at the hotel, he easily found out her real name and where she lived, along with the fact that the group was leaving for Saratoga the next day. It also occurred to him that Saratoga, at the height of the season, would definitely be worth a visit.
In the evening he again happened to meet the lady on the stairs. He retreated into a corner of the landing, to make room for her ample skirts, and, catching a glance of curious interest for her hazel eyes, ventured to say: "Good-evening, Miss Law-ris!" suddenly correcting her name in the middle. Bertha, in spite of the womanly dignity which she could very well summon to her aid, could not suppress a fragment of gay laughter, in which the supposed Professor joined. A slight inclination of the lovely head acknowledged his salutation.
In the evening, he happened to run into the lady on the stairs again. He stepped back into a corner of the landing to make space for her wide skirts, and, catching a glimpse of her curious hazel eyes, he took a chance and said, "Good evening, Miss Law-ris!" correcting her name midway. Bertha, despite the poise she could easily muster, couldn't hold back a bit of light laughter, which the supposed Professor joined in on. She slightly tilted her beautiful head to acknowledge his greeting.
The next morning Miss Bertha Morris left, with her party, for Saratoga; and after allowing a day to intervene, in order to avoid the appearance of design, Mr. Henry Bartlett followed. He did not admit to himself in the least that this movement was prompted by love; but he was aware of an intense desire to make her acquaintance. The earnestness which this desire infused into his nature gave him courage; the man within him was beginning to wake and stir; and a boyhood of character, prolonged beyond the usual date, was dropping rapidly into the irrecoverable conditions of the past.
The next morning, Miss Bertha Morris left with her group for Saratoga, and after waiting a day to avoid looking intentional, Mr. Henry Bartlett followed. He didn’t want to admit that his actions were driven by love, but he felt a strong urge to get to know her. The intensity of this desire filled him with courage; the man inside him was starting to wake up; and a childhood that had lingered longer than usual was quickly slipping away into the past.
It chanced that they both took quarters in the same hotel; and great was Bertha's astonishment; on her first morning visit to the Congress Spring, to find Professor Hurlbut quietly quaffing his third glass. He looked so much like a gentleman; he was really so fresh and rosy, so genuinely masculine in comparison with the blasé youths she was accustomed to see, that, forgetting his occupation, she acknowledged his bow with a cordiality which provoked herself the moment afterward. Mr. Bartlett was so much encouraged by this recognition that he ventured to walk beside her on their return to the hotel. She, having in the impulsive frankness and forgetfulness of her nature returned his greeting, felt bound to suffer the temporary companionship, embarrassing though it was. Fortunately none of her friends were in sight, nor was it probable that they knew the chiropodist in any case. She would be rid of him at the hotel door, and would take good care to avoid him in the future.
It turned out that they were both staying at the same hotel, and Bertha was quite surprised during her first morning visit to Congress Spring to see Professor Hurlbut calmly sipping his third glass. He looked so much like a gentleman; he was really so fresh and rosy, so genuinely masculine compared to the jaded guys she was used to seeing, that, forgetting what he did for a living, she responded to his greeting with a friendliness that surprised her right afterward. Mr. Bartlett felt so encouraged by this acknowledgment that he dared to walk alongside her on their way back to the hotel. She, in her impulsive honesty and forgetfulness, returned his greeting and felt bound to tolerate the temporary company, no matter how awkward it was. Thankfully, none of her friends were in sight, and it was unlikely they knew the chiropodist, anyway. She figured she could shake him off at the hotel door and would be sure to avoid him in the future.
"How delightful it is here!" said Mr. Bartlett, thinking more of his present position than of Saratoga in general.
"How wonderful it is here!" said Mr. Bartlett, focusing more on his current situation than on Saratoga overall.
An inclination of the head was her only reply.
An inclination of the head was her only response.
"This is my first visit," he added; "and I can not conceive of a summer society gayer or more inspiring."
"This is my first visit," he added, "and I can't imagine a summer community that's more fun or inspiring."
"I have no doubt you will find it a very favorable place for your business," said Bertha, maliciously recalling him to his occupation, as she thought.
"I have no doubt you'll find it to be a great spot for your business," said Bertha, mischievously reminding him of his work, as she intended.
"Oh, I hope so!" exclaimed the innocent Bartlett. For was not his only business in Saratoga the endeavour to make her acquaintance? And was he not already in a fair way to be successful?
"Oh, I really hope so!" exclaimed the naive Bartlett. Wasn't his sole purpose in Saratoga to get to know her? And wasn't he already on the right track to succeed?
"Disgusting!" thought Bertha, as she suddenly turned and sprang up the steps in front of the ladies' drawing-room. "He thinks of nothing but his horrid corn-plaster, or whatever it is! I really believe he suspects that I need his services. That such a man should be so brazen a charlatan—it is monstrous!"
"Gross!" thought Bertha as she suddenly turned and rushed up the steps to the ladies' drawing room. "All he thinks about is his nasty corn plaster or whatever it is! I really think he suspects I need his help. That a guy like him could be such a shameless fraud—it's outrageous!"
Such thoughts were not an auspicious commencement for the day, and Bertha's friends remarked that she was not in her sunniest mood. She was very careful, however, not to speak of her meeting with the chiropodist; there would have been no end to her brother's banter. She was also vexed that she could not forget his honest blue eyes, and the full, splendid curves of his mouth. Indignation, she supposed, was her predominant emotion; but, in reality, there was a strong under-feeling of admiration, had she been aware of it.
Such thoughts were not a great way to start the day, and Bertha's friends noticed that she wasn't in the best mood. She was very careful not to mention her appointment with the foot doctor; her brother would never stop teasing her about it. She was also frustrated that she couldn't shake off the memory of his honest blue eyes and the charming curves of his mouth. She thought indignation was her main feeling, but deep down, there was a strong sense of admiration that she wasn’t fully aware of.
After dinner Mr. Bartlett, occupying the post of observation at his window (room No. 1346, seventh story), saw the Morris party—Bertha among them—enter a carriage and drive away in the direction of the Lake. Half an hour later, properly attired, he mounted a handsome roan at the door of a livery-stable, and set off in the same direction. He was an accomplished rider, his legs being somewhat shorter than was required by due proportion, owing to which circumstance he appeared taller on horseback than afoot. Like all horsemen, he was thoroughly self-possessed when in the saddle; and could he but have ridden into drawing-rooms and dining-rooms, would have felt no trace of his customary timidity.
After dinner, Mr. Bartlett, who was watching from his window (room No. 1346, seventh floor), saw the Morris group—Bertha included—get into a carriage and drive off toward the Lake. Half an hour later, dressed properly, he got on a beautiful roan horse at the livery stable and headed in the same direction. He was an excellent rider, and because his legs were a bit shorter than what was typically proportional, he looked taller on horseback than he did on foot. Like all good riders, he was completely confident when he was in the saddle; if he could have ridden into living rooms and dining rooms, he would have felt none of his usual shyness.
Bertha noticed his figure afar off, approaching the carriage on a rapid trot, but made no remark. Dick, who had a quick eye for good points both in man and beast, exclaimed, "By Jove! there's a fine pair of them! Look at the action of that roan! See how the fellow rises at the right moment without leaving his saddle! no jumping or bumping there!" Mr. Bartlett came on at a staving pace, lifting his hat to the ladies with perfect grace as he passed. He would have blushed could he have felt a single ripple of the wave of admiration which flowed after him. Bertha alone was silent, more than ever provoked and disgusted that such a gallant outward embodiment of manhood should be connected with such disagreeable associations! Had he been any thing but a chiropodist! A singular feeling of shame, for his sake, prevented her from betraying his personality to her friends; and it came to pass that they innocently defended the very charlatan whom they had so ridiculed in the glen at Trenton from her half-disparaging observations.
Bertha spotted him from a distance, quickly approaching the carriage, but said nothing. Dick, who had a keen eye for strong qualities in both people and animals, exclaimed, "Wow! What a great pair! Look at how that roan moves! See how the guy rises at just the right moment without bouncing around in the saddle! No jumping or jostling there!" Mr. Bartlett approached at a brisk pace, graciously tipping his hat to the ladies as he passed. He would have felt embarrassed if he had sensed even a hint of the admiration that followed him. Bertha remained silent, more irritated and disgusted than ever that such a dashing example of manhood was connected to such unpleasant associations! If only he weren’t a chiropodist! A strange sense of shame for his sake held her back from revealing his identity to her friends, and as a result, they unwittingly defended the very charlatan they had mocked in the glen at Trenton against her slightly negative comments.
After all, she thought, the man may be honest in his profession, which he may look upon as simply that of a physician. A pain in the toe is probably as troublesome as a pain in the head; and why should not one be cured as well as the other? A dentist, I am sure, is a very respectable person; and, for my part, I would as soon operate on a corny toe as a carious tooth. [I would not have you suppose, ladies, that Miss Morris made use of such horrid expressions in her conversation: I am only putting her thoughts into my own words.] Still, the conclusion to which she invariably arrived was, "I wish he were any thing else!"
After all, she thought, the man might be honest in his job, which he probably sees as just being a doctor. A pain in the toe is likely just as annoying as a headache; so why shouldn’t one be treated just like the other? I’m sure a dentist is a very respectable person; honestly, I’d rather deal with a painful toe than a rotten tooth. [I wouldn’t want you to think, ladies, that Miss Morris used such gross terms in her conversations: I’m just putting her thoughts into my own words.] Still, the conclusion she always reached was, “I wish he were anything else!”
That evening there was a hop at the hotel. The Morrises were enthusiastic dancers—even the widow, Bertha's mother, not disdaining a quadrille. Mr. Bartlett, in an elegant evening dress, his eyes sparkling with new light, was there also. In the course of the day he had encountered a Boston cousin, Miss Jane Heath, a tall, dashing girl, some two or three years older than himself. She was one of the few women with whom he felt entirely at ease. There was an honest, cousinly affection between them; and he always felt relieved, in society, when supported by her presence.
That evening there was a dance at the hotel. The Morrises were enthusiastic dancers—even Bertha's mother, the widow, who enjoyed a quadrille. Mr. Bartlett, dressed elegantly in evening attire, his eyes sparkling with excitement, was there too. Earlier that day, he had run into a Boston cousin, Miss Jane Heath, a tall, confident girl a couple of years older than him. She was one of the few women he felt completely comfortable around. There was a genuine, cousinly affection between them, and he always felt at ease in social situations when she was around.
"Now, Harry," said Jane, as they entered the room, "remember, the first schottisch belongs to me. After that, I'll prove my disinterestedness by finding you partners."
"Now, Harry," said Jane as they walked into the room, "remember, the first schottisch is mine. After that, I'll show my selflessness by finding you partners."
As he led her upon the floor his eyes dropped in encountering those of Bertha Morris, whose floating tulle was just settling itself to rest as she whirled out of the ranks. Poor Bertha! had she been alone she could have cried. He danced as well as he rode—the splendid, mean fellow! the handsome, horrid—chiropodist! Well, it was all outward varnish, no doubt. If it was true that he had relieved the nobility of Great Britain of their corns, he must have acquired something of the elegances of their society. But such ease and grace in dancing could not be picked up by mere imitation—it was a born gift. Even her brother Dick, who was looked upon as the highest result of fashionable education in such matters, was not surer or lighter of foot.
As he led her onto the dance floor, his gaze fell on Bertha Morris, whose billowy tulle was just settling after she twirled out of formation. Poor Bertha! If she had been by herself, she might have cried. He danced as well as he rode—the amazing, selfish guy! The handsome, awful—foot doctor! Well, it was all just a surface show, no doubt. If it was true that he had taken care of the nobility of Great Britain and their foot problems, he must have picked up some of their social graces. But such smoothness and elegance in dancing couldn’t come from just mimicking; it was a natural talent. Even her brother Dick, who was seen as the pinnacle of trendy education in these things, wasn’t as sure or graceful on his feet.
An hour later Bertha, who had withdrawn from the dancers and was refreshing herself with the mild night air at an open window, found herself temporarily separated from her friends. Mr. Bartlett had evidently been watching for such an opportunity, for he presently disengaged himself from the crowd and approached her.
An hour later, Bertha, who had stepped back from the dancers and was enjoying the gentle night air at an open window, realized she was momentarily alone without her friends. Mr. Bartlett had clearly been looking for a moment like this because he soon broke away from the crowd and walked over to her.
"You are fond of dancing, Miss Morris?" said he.
"You like dancing, Miss Morris?" he asked.
"Ye-es," she answered, hesitatingly, divided between her determination to repel his effrontery and her inability to do so. She turned partly away, and gazed steadily into the moonshine.
"Yes," she replied, hesitantly, torn between her determination to push back against his boldness and her inability to do so. She partially turned away and looked steadily into the moonlight.
Mr. Bartlett, however, was not to be discouraged. "Still, even the most agreeable exercise will fatigue at last," he remarked.
Mr. Bartlett, however, wasn’t going to be discouraged. "Still, even the most pleasant exercise will wear you out eventually," he said.
"Oh," said Bertha, rather sharply, suspecting a professional meaning in his words, "my feet are perfectly sound, I assure you, Sir!"
"Oh," Bertha said, a bit sharply, sensing a professional tone in his words, "my feet are perfectly fine, I assure you, sir!"
It is not to be denied that he was a little surprised at the earnestness of an assertion which, in a playful tone, would not have seemed out of place. "I think you proved that at Trenton Falls," he rejoined; "but will you grant me the pleasure of another test during the next quadrille?"
It’s undeniable that he was somewhat surprised by the seriousness of a statement that, if said playfully, wouldn’t have felt out of place. "I think you proved that at Trenton Falls," he replied; "but would you allow me the pleasure of another test during the next quadrille?"
"No further test is necessary, Sir. I presume you have patients enough already!" And having uttered these words as coolly as her indignation allowed, Bertha moved away from the window.
"No more tests are needed, Sir. I assume you already have enough patients!" And after saying this as calmly as her frustration would allow, Bertha walked away from the window.
"Patience?" said Mr. Bartlett to himself, wholly misapprehending her meaning; "yes, I shall have patience while there is a chance to hope. But why did she speak of patience? Women, I have heard, are natural diplomatists, and have a thousand indirect ways of saying things which they do not wish to speak outright. Could she mean to test the sincerity of my wish to know her. It is not to be expected that a stranger, so awkwardly introduced, should be received without hesitation—mistrust, perhaps. No, no, I must persevere; she would despise me if I did not understand her meaning."
"Patience?" Mr. Bartlett said to himself, completely misunderstanding her intent. "Sure, I can be patient as long as there’s hope. But why did she bring up patience? I’ve heard that women are natural diplomats, finding countless indirect ways to say things they don’t want to say outright. Could she be trying to test how genuine I am about wanting to get to know her? It's probably too much to expect that a stranger, introduced so awkwardly, would be welcomed without some hesitation—maybe even suspicion. No, I have to keep trying; she would look down on me if I didn't grasp what she was getting at."
The following days were cold and rainy. There was an end of the gay out-door life which offered him so many chances of meeting Miss Morris, and the fleeting glimpses he caught of her in the great dining-hall or the passage leading to the ladies' parlor were simply tantalizing. I have no doubt there was a mute appeal in his eyes which must have troubled the young lady's conscience; for she avoided meeting his gaze. The knowledge of his presence made her uneasy; there was an atmosphere about the hotel which she would willingly have escaped. She walked with the consciousness of an eye every where following her, and, in spite of herself, furtively sought for it. We, who are aware of her mystification, may be amused at it; but imagine yourselves in the same situation, ladies, and you will appreciate its horrors!
The following days were cold and rainy. The lively outdoor life that had given him so many chances to see Miss Morris was coming to an end, and the brief glimpses he caught of her in the large dining hall or the hallway leading to the ladies' parlor were simply frustrating. I have no doubt there was a silent plea in his eyes that must have weighed on the young lady’s conscience, as she avoided his gaze. Just knowing he was there made her uncomfortable; the atmosphere in the hotel was one she would have gladly left. She walked around feeling like someone was watching her, and despite herself, she secretly looked for it. We, who understand her confusion, might find it amusing; but picture yourselves in the same situation, ladies, and you’ll understand how dreadful it is!
No, this was not longer to be endured, and so, after five or six days at Saratoga, the party suddenly left for Niagara. Bertha, an only daughter, was a petted child, and might have had her own way much oftener than was really the case. The principal use she made of her privilege was to follow the bent of a remarkably free, joyous, and confiding nature. She was just unconventional enough to preserve an individuality, and thereby distinguish herself from thousands of girls who seem to have been cut out by a single pattern. The sphere within which true womanhood moves is much wider than most women suspect. To the frank, honest, and pure nature, what are called "the bounds of propriety" are its natural horizon-ring, moving with it, and inclosing it every where without restraining its freedom.
No, this couldn’t be tolerated any longer, so after five or six days in Saratoga, the group suddenly headed to Niagara. Bertha, an only daughter, was pampered and could have had her way far more often than she actually did. The main way she used her privilege was by embracing her wonderfully free, joyful, and trusting nature. She was just unconventional enough to maintain her individuality, setting herself apart from countless girls who seem to be molded from the same template. The realm in which true womanhood operates is much broader than most women realize. For someone with a genuine, honest, and pure nature, what are termed "the limits of propriety" become a natural horizon, moving alongside it and enclosing it everywhere without restricting its freedom.
We shall not be surprised to find that shortly after Miss Morris's departure Room No. 1346 in the Catanational Hotel had another tenant. Mr. Bartlett followed, as a matter of course. He began nevertheless, to feel very much like a fool, and—as he afterward confessed—spent most of the time between Utica and the Suspension Bridge in deliberating whether he should seek or avoid an interview. As if such discussions with one's self ever amounted to any thing!
We won’t be surprised to see that soon after Miss Morris left, Room No. 1346 in the Catanational Hotel had a new occupant. Mr. Bartlett naturally took over. However, he started to feel pretty foolish and—as he later admitted—he spent most of the journey between Utica and the Suspension Bridge debating whether he should try to have a conversation or keep his distance. As if talking to yourself ever really gets you anywhere!
Ascertaining the lady's presence, he decided to devote his first day to Niagara, trusting the rest to chance. In fact, he could not have done a more sensible thing, for there is a Special Chance appointed for such cases. The forenoon was not over before he experienced its operations. Bertha, cloaked and cowled in India-rubber, stood on the hurricane deck of the "Maid of the Mist," as the venturesome little steamer approached the corner of the Horse-Shoe Fall. Looking up through blinding spray at the shimmer of emerald and dazzling silver against the sky, she crept near a broad-shouldered figure to shelter herself from the stormy gusts of the Fall. Suddenly the boat wheeled, at the very edge of the tremendous sheet, and swirled away from the vortex with a heave which threw her off her feet. She did not fall, however; for strong arms caught her waist and steadied her until the motion subsided.
Noticing the lady's presence, he decided to spend his first day at Niagara, leaving the rest to fate. In fact, he couldn't have made a smarter choice, as there's a Special Chance set up for situations like this. By midday, he felt its effects. Bertha, dressed in a rubber raincoat and hood, stood on the hurricane deck of the "Maid of the Mist" as the daring little boat approached the edge of the Horseshoe Falls. Looking up through the blinding spray at the shimmering greens and dazzling silvers against the sky, she moved closer to a broad-shouldered figure to shield herself from the gusty winds of the falls. Suddenly, the boat turned at the very brink of the massive cascade and lurched away from the swirling waters, throwing her off balance. However, she didn't fall; strong arms wrapped around her waist and steadied her until the movement calmed down.
Through the rush of the spray and the roar of the Fall she indistinctly heard a voice apologizing for the unceremonious way in which the arms had seized her. She did not speak—-fearful, in fact, of having her mouth filled with water—but frankly gave the gentleman her hand. The monkish figure bowed low over the wet fingers, and respectfully withdrew. As the mist cleared away she encountered familiar eyes. Was it possible? The Chiropodist!
Through the splash of the spray and the loud sound of the waterfall, she vaguely heard a voice apologizing for the abrupt way the arms had grabbed her. She didn’t say anything—worried about getting water in her mouth—but she willingly offered her hand to the gentleman. The monk-like figure bowed low over her wet fingers and respectfully stepped back. As the mist cleared, she recognized familiar eyes. Could it be? The Chiropodist!
This discovery gave Bertha no little uneasiness. A subtle instinct told her that he had followed on her account, in spite of her cornless feet. Perhaps he had left a lucrative practice at Saratoga—and why? There was but one answer to the question, and she blushed painfully as she admitted its possibility. What was to be done? She would tell her brother; but no—young men are so rash and violent. Avoid him? That was difficult and embarrassing. Ignore him? Yes, as much as possible, and, if necessary, frankly tell him that she could not accept his acquaintance. On the whole, this course seemed best, though an involuntary sympathy with her victim made her wish that it were all over.
This discovery made Bertha quite uneasy. A nagging instinct told her that he had followed her despite her lack of proper footwear. Maybe he had given up a lucrative practice in Saratoga—and for what? There was only one answer to that question, and she blushed deeply as she considered it. What should she do? She thought about telling her brother, but no—young men can be so reckless and impulsive. Should she avoid him? That would be difficult and awkward. How about ignoring him? Yes, as much as she could, and if needed, she would honestly tell him that she couldn’t accept his friendship. Overall, this seemed like the best option, even though an involuntary sympathy for him made her wish it would all just end.
In the afternoon Mrs. Morris, as usual, took her summer siesta; Dick had found a friend, and was whirling somewhere behind a pair of fast horses; and, finally, Bertha, bored by the society in the ladies' parlor, took her hat and a book and walked over to Goat Island. She made the circuit of its forests and flashing water views, and finally selected a shady seat on its western side, whence she could look out on the foamy stairs of the Rapids. The unnecessary book lay in her lap; a more wonderful book than any printed volume lay open before her.
In the afternoon, Mrs. Morris, as usual, took her summer nap; Dick had found a friend and was racing somewhere behind a pair of fast horses; and finally, Bertha, bored with the company in the ladies' parlor, grabbed her hat and a book and walked over to Goat Island. She made her way around its forests and stunning water views and eventually picked a shady spot on its western side, where she could gaze out at the foamy cascades of the Rapids. The pointless book rested in her lap; a more amazing book than any printed volume lay open before her.
Who shall dare to interpret the day-dream of a maiden? Soothed by the mellow roar of the waters, fascinated by the momentary leaps of spray from the fluted, shell-shaped hollows of the descending waves, and freshened by the wind that blew from the cool Canadian shore, she nursed her wild weeds of fancy till they blossomed into brighter than garden-flowers. Meanwhile a thunder-cloud rose, dark and swift, in the west. The menaces of its coming were unheard, and Bertha was first recalled to consciousness by the sudden blast of cold wind that precedes the ram.
Who would dare to interpret a young woman's daydream? Calmed by the soothing sound of the water, mesmerized by the fleeting spray from the shell-shaped dips of the crashing waves, and refreshed by the breeze coming from the cool Canadian shore, she nurtured her wild fantasies until they bloomed brighter than garden flowers. Meanwhile, a dark and swift thundercloud gathered in the west. The threats of its approach went unnoticed, and Bertha was jolted back to reality by the sudden chill of the wind that arrives before the rain.
When she looked up, the gray depth of storm already arched high over the Canadian woods, and big drops began to rap on the shingly bank below her. A little further down was a summer-house—open to the west, it is true, but it offered the only chance of shelter within view. She had barely reached it before a heavy peal of thunder shattered the bolts of the rain, and it rushed down in an overwhelming flood. Mounted on the bench and crouched in the least exposed corner, she was endeavoring, with but partial success, to shelter herself from the driving flood, when a man, coming from the opposite end of the island, rushed up at full speed.
When she looked up, the gray storm clouds had already arched high over the Canadian woods, and big drops started to hit the shingly bank below her. A little further down was a summer house—open to the west, sure, but it was the only chance of shelter in sight. She had barely made it there before a loud clap of thunder broke through the rain, and it poured down in an overwhelming flood. Crouched on the bench in the least exposed corner, she was trying, with only partial success, to shield herself from the driving rain when a man, coming from the opposite end of the island, rushed up at full speed.
"Here," he panted, "Miss Morris, take this umbrella! I saw you at a distance, and made haste to reach you. I hope you're not wet." The spacious umbrella was instantly clapped over her, and the inevitable Chiropodist placed himself in front to steady it, fully exposed to the rain.
"Here," he gasped, "Miss Morris, take this umbrella! I spotted you from afar and rushed over. I hope you're not getting wet." The large umbrella was quickly held over her, while the ever-present Chiropodist stood in front to keep it steady, completely exposed to the rain.
Bertha was not proof against this gallant self-sacrifice. In the surprise of the storm—the roar of which, mingled with that of the Fall, made a continuous awful peal—the companionship of any human being was a relief, and she felt grateful for Professor Hurlbut's arrival. Chiropodist though he was, he must not suffer for her sake.
Bertha couldn't resist this brave act of selflessness. In the shock of the storm—the combined noise of the storm and the Fall creating a constant terrifying roar—the presence of another person felt like a relief, and she was thankful for Professor Hurlbut's arrival. Even though he was a chiropodist, he shouldn't have to suffer because of her.
"Here!" said she, lifting the umbrella, "it will shelter us both. Quick! I insist upon it:" seeing that he hesitated.
"Here!" she said, raising the umbrella. "It will keep us both dry. Hurry! I'm insisting on it," noticing that he was hesitating.
There was really no time for parley, for every drop pierced him to the skin, and the next moment found him planted before her, interposing a double shield. His tender anxiety for her sake quite softened Bertha. How ungrateful she had been!
There was really no time for discussion, as every drop hit him to the core, and the next moment had him standing in front of her, holding up two shields. His deep concern for her softened Bertha. How ungrateful she had been!
"This is the second time I am obliged to you to-day, Sir," said she. "I am sorry that I have unintentionally given you trouble."
"This is the second time I owe you today, Sir," she said. "I'm sorry that I unintentionally caused you any trouble."
"Oh, Miss Morris," cried the delighted Bartlett, "don't mention it! It's nothing; I am quite amphibious, you know."
"Oh, Miss Morris," exclaimed the thrilled Bartlett, "don't worry about it! It's no big deal; I'm pretty adaptable, you know."
"You might be now in a place of shelter but for me," she answered, penitently.
"You might be in a safe place now, but for me," she replied, remorsefully.
"I'd rather be here than any where else!" he exclaimed, in a burst of candor which quite overleaped the barrier of self-possession and came down on the other side. "If you would allow me to be your friend, Miss Morris—if you would permit me to—to speak with you now and then; if—if—" Here he paused, not knowing precisely what more to say, yet feeling that he had already said enough to make his meaning clear.
"I'd rather be here than anywhere else!" he said, in a moment of honesty that completely broke through his usual composure. "If you would let me be your friend, Miss Morris—if you would allow me to—talk with you every now and then; if—if—" He paused here, unsure of exactly what else to say, but feeling that he had already said enough to make his feelings clear.
Bertha was cruelly embarrassed, but only for a moment. Professor Hurlbut had at least been frank and honest in his avowal—she felt his sincerity through and through—and he deserved equal honesty at her hands.
Bertha felt a wave of embarrassment, but it lasted only a moment. Professor Hurlbut had been straightforward and genuine in his admission—she could feel his sincerity completely—and he deserved the same honesty from her.
"I am your debtor," said she, in an uncertain voice; "and you have a right to expect gratitude, at least, from me. I can not, therefore, refuse your acquaintance, though, as you know, your—your occupation would be considered objectionable by many persons."
"I owe you," she said, her voice uncertain; "and you have a right to expect at least some gratitude from me. I can't, therefore, refuse to get to know you, even though, as you know, your—your job would be seen as questionable by many people."
"My occupation!"
"My job!"
"Your profession, then. I must candidly confess that I have a prejudice—a foolish one, perhaps, against it."
"Your job, then. I have to honestly admit that I have a bias—maybe a silly one—against it."
"My profession!" cried the astonished Bartlett; "why, I have none!"
"My job!" exclaimed the surprised Bartlett; "I don’t have one!"
"Well—it is scarcely to be called a 'profession,' but it is always liable to the charge of charlatanism: pardon me the word. And it may be ridiculed in so many ways. I wish, for your sake—for I believe you to be capable of better things—that you would adopt some other business."
"Well—it is hardly something to be called a 'profession,' but it often faces accusations of being a sham: excuse my choice of words. And it can be mocked in so many ways. I wish, for your sake—because I believe you are capable of better things—that you would choose another line of work."
Mr. Bartlett's amazement was now beyond all bounds, "Good Heavens!" he exclaimed, "Miss Morris, what do you mean?"
Mr. Bartlett's astonishment was beyond measure. "Oh my gosh!" he exclaimed, "Miss Morris, what do you mean?"
Starting up from the bench as he uttered these words he jostled Bertha's book from her hand. The leaves parted in falling, and a large card, escaping from between them, fluttered down upon the floor. He picked it up and restored it to her, with the book.
Starting up from the bench as he said this, he bumped Bertha's book from her hand. The pages fell apart, and a large card slipped out and landed on the floor. He picked it up and handed it back to her along with the book.
"There!" she answered, giving the card back again, "there is what I mean! Must I give you your own card in order to acquaint you with your own business?"
"There!" she replied, handing the card back again, "that’s what I mean! Do I really have to give you your own card to remind you of your own business?"
Mr. Bartlett looked at it for a second in blank amazement; then, like a flash of lightning, the whole course of the misunderstanding flashed across his mind. He burst—I am ashamed to say—into a tremendous paroxysm of mingled tears and laughter: were he not so strong and masculine a man, I should say, "hysterics." In vain he struggled to find words. At every attempt a fresh convulsion of laughter seized him, and tears, mingled with rain, flowed down his cheeks.
Mr. Bartlett stared at it for a moment in total shock; then, like a bolt of lightning, the entire misunderstanding hit him all at once. He erupted—I’m embarrassed to say—into a huge fit of mixed tears and laughter: if he weren't such a strong, manly guy, I’d call it "hysterics." He struggled in vain to find the right words. With each attempt, another wave of laughter overwhelmed him, and tears, mixed with rain, streamed down his face.
Bertha began to be alarmed at this strange and unexpected convulsion. "Professor Hurlbut!" said she, "what is the matter?"
Bertha started to feel worried about this strange and unexpected outburst. "Professor Hurlbut!" she exclaimed, "what's going on?"
"Professor Hurlbut!" he repeated, in a faint, scarcely audible scream; then, striving to suppress his uncontrollable fit of delight and comical surprise, he sank upon the bench at her feet, shaking from head to foot with the effort.
"Professor Hurlbut!" he called out again, in a weak, barely audible shout; then, trying to hold back his overwhelming joy and funny surprise, he collapsed onto the bench at her feet, trembling all over from the effort.
"A-a-ah!" he at last panted forth, as if heaving an atlas-load from his heart, and stood erect before her. With his face still flushed and eyes sparkling he was as handsome an embodiment of youth and life as one could wish to see. In two words he explained to her the mistake, on learning which Bertha blushed deeply, saying: "How could I ever have supposed it!" And then, reflecting upon the inferences which could be drawn from such an expression, became suddenly shy and silent.
"A-a-ah!" he finally gasped, as if releasing a heavy weight from his heart, and stood tall before her. With his face still flushed and eyes shining, he was as attractive a representation of youth and vitality as one could hope to see. In just two words, he clarified the misunderstanding, and upon hearing this, Bertha blushed deeply, saying, "How could I have ever thought that!" Then, contemplating the implications of such a remark, she suddenly became shy and quiet.
Of course she accepted Mr. Bartlett's escort to the hotel when the rain was over, and he was presented to the agonised mother, who hailed him as a deliverer of her daughter from untold dangers, and privately remarked, afterward, to the latter: "Upon my word, a very nice young man, my dear!" Dick's commendation was no less emphatic though differently expressed: "A good fellow! well made in the shoulders and flanks: fine action, but wants a little training!"
Of course, she accepted Mr. Bartlett's offer to take her to the hotel once the rain stopped. He was introduced to the distressed mother, who regarded him as a savior for her daughter from countless dangers, and later privately told her, "I must say, he's a very nice young man, dear!" Dick's praise was just as strong, though said differently: "A good guy! Well-built in the shoulders and sides: good movement, but just needs a bit of training!"
By this time, ladies, you have probably guessed the conclusion. My story would neither be agreeable nor true (I am relating facts) if they were not married, and did not have two children, and live happy ever after. Married they were, in the course of time, and happy they also are, for I visit them now and then.
By now, ladies, you’ve probably figured out the ending. My story wouldn’t be enjoyable or accurate (I'm sharing real events) if they weren’t married, didn’t have two kids, and didn’t live happily ever after. They did get married eventually, and they’re also happy, as I visit them from time to time.
One thing I had nearly forgotten. When Mrs. Bartlett chooses to tease her husband in that playful way so delightful to married lovers, she invariably calls him "Professor Hurlbut," while he retorts with "Miss Lawrence, of South Carolina." Moreover, in Mrs. B.'s confidential little boudoir, over her work-stand, hangs a neatly-framed card, whereon you may read:
One thing I almost forgot. When Mrs. Bartlett playfully teases her husband in that charming way that married couples love, she always calls him "Professor Hurlbut," and he responds with "Miss Lawrence, of South Carolina." Also, in Mrs. B.'s cozy little boudoir, above her work table, hangs a nicely framed card, where you can read:
PROFESSOR HURLBUT,
Chiropodist
To her Majesty Queen Victoria, and the
Nobility of Great Britain.
"MR. DOOLEY ON CORPORAL PUNISHMENT"
By F. P. DUNNE
Copyright 1907 by H. H. McClure & Co.
Copyright 1907 by H. H. McClure & Co.
"Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I see that some school-teachers down East have been petitioning to be allowed to slug th' young."
"Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I see that some teachers up East have been asking to be allowed to hit the kids."
"How's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy.
"How's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy.
"Well," said Mr. Dooley "they say they can't do anything with these tender little growths onless they use a club. They want the boord iv iddycation to restore what's called corporal punishment—that is th' fun iv lickin' some wan that can't fight back. Says wan iv thim: 'Th' little wans undher our care are far fr'm bein' th' small angels that they look. As a matther iv fact they are rebellyous monsthers that must be suppressed be vigorous an',' says he, 'stern measures. Is it right,' says he, 'that us school masthers shud daily risk our lives at th' hands iv these feerocious an' tigerish inimies iv human s'ciety without havin' a chance to pound thim? Yisterdah a goolden haired imp iv perdition placed a tack in me chair. To-day I found a dead rat in the desk. At times they write opprobyous epithets about me on th' blackboard; at other times crood but pinted carrycachures. Nawthin' will conthrol thim. They hurl the murdherous spitball. They pull th' braid iv th' little girl. They fire baseballs through th' windows. Sometimes lumps iv chewin' gum are found undher their desks where they have stuck thim f'r further use. They shuffle their feet whin I'm narvous. They look around thim when they think I'm not lookin'. They pass notes grossly insultin' each other. Moral suasion does no good. I have thried writin' to their parents askin' thim to cripple their offspring, an' th' parents have come over an' offered to fight me. I've thried keepin' thim afther school, makin' thim write compositions an' shakin' th' milk teeth out iv thim, but to no avail. Me opinyon is that th' av'rage small boy is a threecherous, dangerous crather like th' Apachy Indyan' an' that th' on'y thing to do with him is to slam him with a wagon spoke,' says he.
"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "they say they can't do anything with these sensitive little kids unless they use a club. They want the board of education to bring back what's called corporal punishment—that is the fun of hitting someone who can't fight back. One of them says: 'The little ones under our care are far from being the small angels they seem. In fact, they are rebellious monsters that must be controlled by vigorous and,' he says, 'stern measures. Is it right,' he asks, 'that we teachers should daily risk our lives at the hands of these ferocious and ruthless enemies of society without having a chance to put them in their place? Yesterday, a golden-haired little devil put a tack on my chair. Today, I found a dead rat in my desk. Sometimes they write horrible insults about me on the blackboard; other times, crude but pointed caricatures. Nothing will calm them down. They hurl deadly spitballs. They pull the hair of the little girl. They throw baseballs through the windows. Sometimes lumps of chewing gum are found under their desks where they’ve stuck them for later use. They shuffle their feet when I'm nervous. They look around when they think I'm not watching. They pass notes grossly insulting each other. Moral persuasion doesn't work. I've tried writing to their parents asking them to discipline their kids, and the parents come over and offer to fight me. I've tried keeping them after school, making them write essays and shaking the baby teeth out of them, but to no avail. My opinion is that the average little boy is a treacherous, dangerous creature like the Apache Indian, and the only thing to do with him is to slam him with a wagon spoke,' he says."
"An th' boord iv iddycation is discussin' th' petition. It can't quite make up its mind whether Solomon wasn't right. Solomon said, accordin' to Hogan, spile th' rod an' save th' child. He must've had a large famly if he was annywhere near Tiddy Rosenfelt's law iv av'rages. I don't see how he cud've spared time f'r writin' from correctin' his fam'ly. He must've set up nights. Annyhow, th' boord iv iddycation is discussin' whether he was right or not. I don't know mys'lf. All I know is that if I was a life insurance canvasser or a coal dealer or something else that made me illegible to be a mimber iv a boord iv iddycation, an' an able-bodied man six feet tall come to me f'r permission to whale a boy three feet tall, I'd say: 'I don't know whether ye are compitint. Punishing people requires special thrainin'. It ain't iv'rybody that's suited f'r th' job. Ye might bungle it. Just take off ye'er coat an' vest an' step into th' next room an' be examined.' An' in th' next room th' ambitious iddycator wud find James J. Jeffreys or some other akely efficient expert ready f'r him an' if he come back alive he'd have a certy-ficate entitlin' him to whack anny little boy he met—except mine.
"An' the board of education is discussing the petition. It can’t quite decide if Solomon was wrong. Solomon said, according to Hogan, spare the rod and save the child. He must have had a big family if he was anywhere near Tiddy Rosenfelt’s law of averages. I don’t see how he could have found time for writing with correcting his family. He must have stayed up nights. Anyway, the board of education is debating whether he was right or not. I don’t know myself. All I know is that if I were a life insurance salesman or a coal dealer or something else that made me ineligible to be a member of a board of education, and a well-built man six feet tall came to me for permission to beat a boy three feet tall, I’d say: 'I don’t know if you’re qualified. Punishing people requires special training. Not everyone is suited for the job. You might mess it up. Just take off your coat and vest and step into the next room and be examined.' And in the next room, the ambitious educator would find James J. Jeffries or some other highly efficient expert ready for him, and if he came back alive, he’d have a certificate entitling him to hit any little boy he met—except mine."
"Sure there'd be very few people to say they believed in corporal punishment if corporal punishment was gin'ral. I wudden't give anny wan th' right to lick a child that wanted to lick a child. No wan shud be licked till he's too old to take a licking. If it's right to larrup an infant iv eight, why ain't it right to larrup wan iv eighteen? Supposin' Prisidint Hadley iv Yale see that th' left tackle or th' half back iv th' football team wasn't behavin' right. He'd been caught blowin' a pea shooter at th' pro-fissor iv iliminthry chemisthry, or pullin' th' dure bell iv th' pro-fissor iv dogmatic theosophy. He don't know any different. He's not supposed to ralize th' distinction between right an' wrong yet. Does Prisidint Hadley grab th' child be th' ear an' conduct him to a corner iv th' schoolroom an wallup him? Ye bet he does not. Prisidint Hadley may be a bold man in raisin' money or thranslatin' Homer, but he knows th' diff'rence between courage and sheer recklessness. If he thried to convince this young idea how to shoot in this careless way ye'd read in the pa-apers that th' fire department was thryin' to rescue Prisidint Hadley fr'm th' roof iv th' buildin' but he declined to come down.
"Surely, very few people would say they believe in corporal punishment if it were common. I wouldn’t give anyone the right to hit a child who wants to hit a child. No one should be punished physically until they're too old to take a punishment. If it’s acceptable to slap an eight-year-old, why isn’t it acceptable to slap an eighteen-year-old? Suppose President Hadley of Yale sees that the left tackle or the halfback of the football team isn’t behaving properly. He’s been caught blowing a pea shooter at the professor of elementary chemistry or ringing the doorbell of the professor of dogmatic theosophy. He doesn’t know any better. He’s not expected to understand the distinction between right and wrong yet. Does President Hadley grab the kid by the ear and take him to a corner of the classroom to smack him? You bet he does not. President Hadley may be a bold man in raising money or translating Homer, but he knows the difference between courage and sheer recklessness. If he tried to teach this young mind to shoot in such a careless way, you’d read in the papers that the fire department was trying to rescue President Hadley from the roof of the building, but he refused to come down."
"But what wud ye do with a child that refused to obey ye?" demanded Mr. Hennessy.
"But what would you do with a child that refused to listen to you?" asked Mr. Hennessy.
"Not bein' ayther a parent or an iddycator I nivir had such a child," said Mr. Dooley. "I don't know what I'd do if I was. Th' on'y thing I wudden't do wud be to hit him if he cudden't hit back, an' thin I'd think twice about it. Th' older I grow th' more things there are I know I don't know annything about. An' wan iv thim is childher. I can't figure thim out at all.
"Not being either a parent or a teacher, I never had such a child," said Mr. Dooley. "I don't know what I’d do if I were. The only thing I wouldn’t do is hit him if he couldn’t hit back, and even then I’d think twice about it. The older I get, the more I realize there are so many things I don’t know anything about. And one of those things is children. I can't figure them out at all."
"What d'ye know about thim little wans that ye have so carefully reared be lavin' thim in th' mornin' befure they got up an' losin' ye'er temper with at night whin ye come home fr'm wurruk? They don't know ye an' ye don't know thim. Ye'll niver know till 'tis too late. I've often wondhered what a little boy thinks about us that call oursilves grown up because we can't grow anny more. We wake him up in th' mornin' whin he wants to sleep. We make him wash his face whin he knows it don't need washin' thin as much as it will later an' we sind him back to comb his hair in a way he don't approve iv at all. We fire him off to school just about th' time iv day whin anny wan ought to be out iv dures. He trudges off to a brick buildin' an' a tired teacher tells him a lot iv things he hasn't anny inthrest in at all, like how manny times sivin goes into a hundhred an' nine an' who was King iv England in thirteen twinty-two an' where is Kazabazoo on the map. He has to set there most iv th' pleasant part iv th' day with sixty other kids an' ivry time be thries to do annything that seems right to him like jabbin' a frind with a pin or carvin' his name on the desk, th' sthrange lady or gintleman that acts as his keeper swoops down on him an' makes him feel like a criminal. To'rds evenin' if he's been good an' repressed all his nacharal instincts he's allowed to go home an' chop some wood. Whin he's done that an' has just managed to get a few iv his frinds together an' they're beginnin' to get up interest in th' spoort iv throwin' bricks down into a Chinese laundhry his little sister comes out an' tells him he's wanted at home. He instinctively pulls her hair an' goes in to study his lessons so that he'll be able to-morrow to answer some ridiklous questions that are goin' to be asked him. Afther a while ye come home an' greet him with ye'er usual glare an' ye have supper together. Ye do most iv th' talkin', which ain't much. If he thries to cut in with somethin' that intelligent people ought to talk about ye stop him with a frown. Afther supper he's allowed to study some more, an' whin he's finished just as th' night begins to look good he's fired off to bed an' th' light is taken away fr'm him an' he sees ghosts an' hobgoberlins in th' dark an' th' next he knows he's hauled out iv bed an' made to wash his face again.
"What do you know about those little ones that you have so carefully raised by leaving them in the morning before they woke up and losing your temper with at night when you come home from work? They don't know you and you don't know them. You'll never know until it's too late. I've often wondered what a little boy thinks about us who call ourselves grown-ups because we can't grow anymore. We wake him up in the morning when he wants to sleep. We make him wash his face when he knows it doesn't need washing as much as it will later, and we send him back to comb his hair in a way he doesn't approve of at all. We send him off to school just about the time of day when anyone should be outside. He trudges off to a brick building and a tired teacher tells him a lot of things he's not interested in at all, like how many times seven goes into a hundred and nine and who was King of England in thirteen twenty-two and where is Kazabazoo on the map. He has to sit there for most of the pleasant part of the day with sixty other kids and every time he tries to do anything that seems right to him, like poking a friend with a pin or carving his name on the desk, the strange lady or gentleman who acts as his keeper swoops down on him and makes him feel like a criminal. Toward evening, if he's been good and repressed all his natural instincts, he's allowed to go home and chop some wood. When he's done that and has just managed to get a few of his friends together and they're starting to get interested in the sport of throwing bricks into a Chinese laundry, his little sister comes out and tells him he's wanted at home. He instinctively pulls her hair and goes in to study his lessons so that he'll be able to answer some ridiculous questions that are going to be asked of him tomorrow. After a while you come home and greet him with your usual glare and you have supper together. You do most of the talking, which isn't much. If he tries to jump in with something that intelligent people ought to talk about, you stop him with a frown. After supper he's allowed to study some more, and when he's finished just as the night begins to look good, he's sent off to bed and the light is taken away from him and he sees ghosts and goblins in the dark, and the next thing he knows he's hauled out of bed and made to wash his face again."
"An' so it goes. If he don't do anny iv these things or if he doesn't do thim th' way ye think is th' right way some wan hits him or wants to. Talk about happy childhood. How wud ye like to have twinty or thirty people issuin' foolish ordhers to ye, makin' ye do things ye didn't want to do, an' niver undherstandin' at all why it was so? Tis like livin' on this earth an' bein' ruled by the inhabitants iv Mars. He has his wurruld, ye can bet on that, an' 'tis a mighty important wurruld. Who knows why a kid wud rather ate potatoes cooked nice an' black on a fire made of sthraw an' old boots thin th' delicious oatmeal so carefully an' so often prepared f'r him be his kind parents? Who knows why he thinks a dark hole undher a sidewalk is a robbers' cave? Who knows why he likes to collect in wan pocket a ball iv twine, glass marbles, chewin' gum, a dead sparrow an' half a lemon? Who knows what his seasons are? They are not mine, an' they're not ye'ers, but he goes as reg'lar fr'm top time to marble time an' fr'm marble time to kite time as we go fr'm summer to autumn an' autumn to winter. To-day he's thryin' to annihilate another boy's stick top with his; to-morrow he's thrying to sail a kite out iv a tillygraft wire. Who knows why he does it?
"And so it goes. If he doesn't do any of these things or doesn't do them the way you think is the right way, someone hits him or wants to. Talk about a happy childhood. How would you like to have twenty or thirty people giving you foolish orders, making you do things you didn't want to do, and never understanding why it was so? It's like living on this earth and being ruled by the inhabitants of Mars. He has his own world, you can bet on that, and it’s a pretty important world. Who knows why a kid would rather eat potatoes cooked nicely and black over a fire made of straw and old boots than the delicious oatmeal so carefully prepared for him by his kind parents? Who knows why he thinks a dark hole under a sidewalk is a robber's cave? Who knows why he likes to collect in one pocket a ball of twine, glass marbles, chewing gum, a dead sparrow, and half a lemon? Who knows what his seasons are? They are not mine, and they’re not yours, but he goes just as regularly from top time to marble time and from marble time to kite time as we go from summer to autumn and autumn to winter. Today he's trying to smash another boy's stick top with his; tomorrow he's trying to fly a kite out of a tangle of wire. Who knows why he does it?"
"Faith we know nawthin' about him an' he knows nawthin' about us. I can raymimber whin I was a little boy but I can't raymimber how I was a little boy. I call back 's though it was yisterdah th' things I did, but why I did thim I don't know. Faith, if I cud look for'ard to th' things I've done I cud no more aisily explain why I was goin' to do thim. Maybe we're both wrong in the way we look at each other—us an' th' childher. We think we've grown up an' they don't guess that we're childher. If they knew us betther they'd not be so surprised at our actions an' wudden't foorce us to hit thim. Whin ye issued some foolish ordher to ye'er little boy he'd say: 'Pah-pah is fractious to-day. Don't ye think he ought to have some castor ile?'"
"Honestly, we don’t really know anything about him and he doesn’t know anything about us. I can remember when I was a little kid, but I can’t remember what it was like to be a little kid. I recall the things I did as if it were yesterday, but I don’t know why I did them. Honestly, if I could look back on the things I’ve done, I wouldn’t be able to easily explain why I was going to do them. Maybe we’re both mistaken in how we perceive each other—us and the kids. We think we’ve grown up and they don’t realize that we’re still children. If they knew us better, they wouldn’t be so surprised by our actions and wouldn’t force us to hit them. When you gave some silly order to your little boy, he’d say: 'Dad is grumpy today. Don’t you think he should have some castor oil?'"
"It's a wise child that knows his own father," said Mr. Hennessy.
"It's a smart kid who knows his own dad," said Mr. Hennessy.
"It's a happy child that doesn't," said Mr. Dooley.
"It's a happy child who doesn't," said Mr. Dooley.
OVER A WOOD FIRE
DONALD G. MITCHELL
I have got a quiet farmhouse in the country, a very humble place, to be sure, tenanted by a worthy enough man of the old New England stamp, where I sometimes go for a day or two in the winter, to look over the farm accounts and to see how the stock is thriving on the winter's keep.
I have a quiet farmhouse in the countryside, a pretty modest place, for sure, rented by a solid guy from the old New England days, where I occasionally go for a day or two in the winter to check the farm accounts and see how the livestock is doing on their winter feed.
One side the door, as you enter from the porch, is a little parlor, scarce twelve feet by ten, with a cozy-looking fireplace, a heavy oak floor, a couple of armchairs, and a brown table with carved lions' feet. Out of this room opens a little cabinet, only big enough for a broad bachelor bedstead, where I sleep upon feathers, and wake in the morning with my eye upon a saucy colored lithographic print of some fancy "Bessy."
One side of the door, as you enter from the porch, is a small living room, barely twelve by ten feet, featuring a welcoming fireplace, a sturdy oak floor, a couple of armchairs, and a brown table with carved lion's feet. Off this room is a tiny alcove, just big enough for a wide bachelor bed, where I sleep on feathers and wake up in the morning with my gaze on a cheeky colored lithograph of some stylish "Bessy."
It happens to be the only house in the world of which I am bona fide owner, and I take a vast deal of comfort in treating it just as I choose. I manage to break some article of furniture almost every time I pay it a visit; and if I cannot open the window readily of a morning, to breathe the fresh air, I knock out a pane or two of glass with my boot. I lean against the walls in a very old armchair there is on the premises, and scarce ever fail to worry such a hole in the plastering as would set me down for a round charge for damages in town, or make a prim housewife fret herself into a raging fever. I laugh out loud with myself, in my big armchair, when I think that I am neither afraid of one nor the other.
It’s the only house in the world that I truly own, and I find a lot of comfort in treating it however I like. I end up breaking some piece of furniture almost every time I visit; and if I can’t easily open the window in the morning to get some fresh air, I just kick out a pane or two of glass with my boot. I lean against the walls in an old armchair that’s there, and I almost always manage to make a hole in the plaster that would cost me a pretty penny in damages in town, or drive a meticulous housewife to distraction. I laugh out loud to myself in my big armchair when I think that I’m not worried about either of them.
As for the fire, I keep the little hearth so hot as to warm half the cellar below, and the whole space between the jams roars for two hours together with white flame. To be sure, the windows are not very tight, between broken panes and bad joints, so that the fire, large as it is, is by no means an extravagant comfort.
As for the fire, I keep the small hearth so hot that it warms half the cellar below, and the entire area between the jams blazes with bright flames for two hours straight. Of course, the windows aren’t very secure, with broken panes and poor joints, so even though the fire is big, it’s definitely not an over-the-top comfort.
As night approaches, I have a huge pile of oak and hickory placed beside the hearth; I put out the tallow candle on the mantel (using the family snuffers, with one leg broken), then, drawing my chair directly in front of the blazing wood, and setting one foot on each of the old iron fire-dogs (until they grow too warm), I dispose myself for an evening of such sober and thoughtful quietude as I believe, on my soul, that very few of my fellow men have the good fortune to enjoy.
As night falls, I stack a big pile of oak and hickory next to the fireplace. I blow out the tallow candle on the mantel (using the family snuffers, which have a broken leg), then, pulling my chair right in front of the crackling fire and resting one foot on each of the old iron fire-dogs (until they get too hot), I settle in for an evening of the kind of calm and reflective peace that I truly believe very few people are lucky enough to experience.
My tenant, meantime, in the other room, I can hear now and then—though there is a thick stone chimney, and broad entry between—multiplying contrivances with his wife to put two babies to sleep. This occupies them, I should say, usually an hour, though my only measure of time (for I never carry a watch into the country) is the blaze of my fire. By ten, or thereabouts, my stock of wood is nearly exhausted; I pile upon the hot coals what remains, and sit watching how it kindles, and blazes, and goes out—-even like our joys—and then slip by the light of the embers into my bed, where I luxuriate in such sound and healthful slumber as only such rattling window-frames and country air can supply.
My tenant, in the other room, I can hear now and then—despite the thick stone chimney and wide entryway—trying different ways with his wife to get their two babies to sleep. This usually takes them about an hour, though my only way of keeping track of time (since I never take a watch to the country) is the fire's blaze. By around ten, my supply of wood is almost gone; I place what’s left on the hot coals and sit watching it catch fire, blaze, and eventually go out—just like our joys—and then slip into bed by the glow of the embers, where I enjoy such deep and healthy sleep that only the sound of rattling window frames and country air can provide.
But to return: the other evening—it happened to be on my last visit to my farmhouse—when I had exhausted all the ordinary rural topics of thought, had formed all sorts of conjectures as to the income of the year; had planned a new wall around one lot, and the clearing up of another, now covered with patriarchal wood; and wondered if the little rickety house would not be after all a snug enough box to live and to die in—I fell on a sudden into such an unprecedented line of thought, which took such deep hold of my sympathies—sometimes even starting tears—that I determined, the next day, to set as much of it as I could recall on paper.
But to get back to the point: the other evening—it was during my last visit to my farmhouse—after I had run through all the usual rural topics, speculated about the year’s income, planned a new wall for one area, and thought about clearing another lot now filled with old trees; and wondered if the little rickety house might actually be a cozy enough place to live and die in—I suddenly fell into a completely new line of thinking that grabbed my emotions so strongly it almost brought me to tears. I decided that the next day, I would write down as much of it as I could remember.
Something—it may have been the home-looking blaze (I am a bachelor of, say, six-and-twenty), or possibly a plaintive cry of the baby in my tenant's room, had suggested to me the thought of—marriage.
Something—it might have been the cozy-looking fire (I’m a bachelor of about twenty-six), or maybe the sad cry of the baby in my tenant's room—made me think about marriage.
I piled upon the heated fire-dogs the last armful of my wood; "and now," said I, bracing myself courageously between the arms of my chair, "I'll not flinch; I'll pursue the thought wherever it leads, though it leads me to the d—(I am apt to be hasty)—at least," continued I, softening, "until my fire is out."
I stacked the last bundle of wood on the hot fire-dogs. "And now," I said, getting myself ready between the arms of my chair, "I won’t back down; I’ll chase the thought wherever it goes, even if it takes me to hell—(I can be a bit quick to judge)—at least," I continued, calming down, "until my fire goes out."
The wood was green, and at first showed no disposition to blaze. It smoked furiously. Smoke, thought I, always goes before blaze; and so does doubt go before decision: and my reverie, from that very starting-point, slipped into this shape:
The wood was damp, and at first showed no sign of catching fire. It smoked intensely. Smoke, I thought, always comes before flames; and just like doubt comes before making a decision: and my daydream, starting from that thought, took this form:
I. SMOKE—SIGNIFYING DOUBT
I. SMOKE—INDICATING DOUBT
A wife? thought I. Yes, a wife.
A wife? I thought. Yeah, a wife.
And why?
And why's that?
And pray, my dear sir, why not—why? Why not doubt? why not hesitate; why not tremble?
And please, my dear sir, why not—why? Why not question it? Why not pause; why not be uncertain?
Does a man buy a ticket in a lottery—a poor man whose whole earnings go in to secure the ticket—without trembling, hesitating, and doubting?
Does a man buy a ticket in a lottery—a poor man whose entire income goes to buy the ticket—without feeling anxious, unsure, and doubtful?
Can a man stake his bachelor respectability, his independence, and comfort, upon the die of absorbing, unchanging, relentless marriage, without trembling at the venture?
Can a man risk his bachelor status, his independence, and comfort on the gamble of a consuming, unchanging, relentless marriage without feeling anxious about it?
Shall a man who has been free to chase his fancies over the wide world, without let or hindrance, shut himself up to marriage-ship, within four walls called home, that are to claim him, his time, his trouble, and his tears, thenceforward forevermore, without doubts thick, and thick-coming as smoke?
Should a man who has been free to pursue his desires across the vast world confine himself to marriage, within four walls called home, which will demand his time, effort, and emotions, now and forever, without doubts piling up like smoke?
Shall he who has been hitherto a mere observer of other men's cares and business—moving off where they made him sick of heart, approaching whenever and wherever they made him gleeful—shall he now undertake administration of just such cares and business, without qualms? Shall he, whose whole life has been but a nimble succession of escapes from trifling difficulties, now broach without doubtings—that matrimony, where if difficulty beset him there is no escape? Shall this brain of mine, careless-working, never tired with idleness, feeding on long vagaries and high, gigantic castles, dreaming out beatitudes hour by hour—turn itself at length to such dull task-work as thinking out a livelihood for wife and children?
Can someone who has only ever watched other people's worries and responsibilities—leaving when it got too painful and showing up whenever it was fun—really take on those same worries and responsibilities without hesitation? Can someone whose life has been just a series of easy escapes from minor challenges now talk about the commitment of marriage, where there’s no way out if things get tough? Can this mind of mine, which plays around and never tires of lounging, indulging in wild fantasies and grand dreams, finally focus on the boring grind of figuring out how to support a wife and kids?
Where thenceforward will be those sunny dreams, in which I have warmed my fancies, and my heart, and lighted my eye with crystal? This very marriage, which a brilliant working imagination has invested time and again with brightness and delight, can serve no longer as a mine for teeming fancy. All, alas! will be gone—reduced to the dull standard of the actual. No more room for intrepid forays of imagination—no more gorgeous realm-making. All will be over!
Where will those sunny dreams go, in which I’ve fueled my imagination, warmed my heart, and brightened my eyes with clarity? This very marriage, which my vivid imagination has filled time and again with joy and light, can no longer inspire my creativity. All will be lost—reduced to the plain reality of the actual. There’s no more room for daring flights of imagination—no more extravagant world-building. It will all be over!
Why not, I thought, go on dreaming?
Why not, I thought, keep dreaming?
Can any wife be prettier than an after-dinner fancy, idle and yet vivid, can paint for you? Can any children make less noise than the little rosy-cheeked ones who have no existence except in the omnium gatherum of your own brain? Can any housewife be more unexceptionable than she who goes sweeping daintily the cobwebs that gather in your dreams? Can any domestic larder be better stocked than the private larder of your head dozing on a cushioned chair-back at Delmonico's? Can any family purse be better filled than the exceeding plump one you dream of, after reading such pleasant books as Munchausen or Typee?
Can any wife be more beautiful than a fancy dessert after dinner, both relaxing and colorful, that you can imagine? Can any children be quieter than the rosy-cheeked ones that only exist in your mind? Can any housewife be more perfect than the one gently sweeping away the cobwebs that collect in your dreams? Can any kitchen pantry be better stocked than the private pantry in your head while you relax in a cushioned chair at Delmonico's? Can any family finances be better filled than the nicely plump one you picture after reading fun books like Munchausen or Typee?
But if, after all, it must be—duty, or what-not, making provocation—what then? And I clapped my feet hard against the fire-dogs, and leaned back, and turned my face to the ceiling, as much as to say, And where on earth, then, shall a poor devil look for a wife?
But if it really has to be—duty or whatever else causing the trouble—what then? I slammed my feet against the fire-dogs, leaned back, and looked up at the ceiling, as if to say, And where on earth is a guy supposed to find a wife?
Somebody says—Lyttleton or Shaftesbury, I think—that "marriages would be happier if they were all arranged by the Lord Chancellor." Unfortunately, we have no Lord Chancellor to make this commutation of our misery.
Somebody says—Lyttleton or Shaftesbury, I think—that "marriages would be happier if they were all arranged by the Lord Chancellor." Unfortunately, we don't have a Lord Chancellor to fix our misery.
Shall a man then scour the country on a mule's back, like honest Gil Blas of Santillane? or shall he make application to some such intervening providence as Madame St. Marc, who, as I see by the Presse, manages these matters to one's hand, for some five per cent on the fortunes of the parties?
Shall a man then roam the countryside on a mule's back, like the honest Gil Blas of Santillane? Or should he seek help from some intervening providence like Madame St. Marc, who, as I read in the Presse, handles these matters for you, taking a fee of about five percent on the fortunes involved?
I have trouted when the brook was so low and the sky so hot that I might as well have thrown my fly upon the turnpike; and I have hunted hare at noon, and woodcock in snowtime—never despairing, scarce doubting; but for a poor hunter of his kind, without traps or snares, or any aid of police or constabulary, to traverse the world, where are swarming, on a moderate computation, some three hundred and odd millions of unmarried women, for a single capture—irremediable, unchangeable—and yet a capture which by strange metonymy, not laid down in the books, is very apt to turn captor into captive and make game of hunter—all this, surely, surely may make a man shrug with doubt!
I’ve fished when the stream was so low and the sun was so hot that I might as well have tossed my lure onto the highway; and I’ve hunted rabbits at noon and woodcock in the snow—never giving up, hardly doubting; but for a poor guy like me, without traps or snares, or any help from law enforcement, to wander the world where there are, by a rough estimate, about three hundred million single women, just to catch one—hopeless, unchangeable—and yet this catch, oddly enough, is often likely to turn the hunter into the hunted, making the game of the hunter—a fact that could definitely make a guy feel uncertain!
Then, again, there are the plaguy wife's relations. Who knows how many third, fourth, or fifth cousins will appear at careless complimentary intervals long after you had settled into the placid belief that all congratulatory visits were at an end? How many twisted-headed brothers will be putting in their advice, as a friend to Peggy?
Then again, there are the annoying in-laws. Who knows how many third, fourth, or fifth cousins will show up at random times long after you thought all the congratulatory visits were over? How many oddball brothers will be offering their advice, pretending to be a friend to Peggy?
How many maiden aunts will come to spend a month or two with their "dear Peggy," and want to know every tea-time "if she isn't a dear love of a wife?" Then, dear father-in-law will beg (taking dear Peggy's hand in his) to give a little wholesome counsel; and will be very sure to advise just the contrary of what you had determined to undertake. And dear mamma-in-law must set her nose into Peggy's cupboard, and insist upon having the key to your own private locker in the wainscot.
How many aunties will come to stay for a month or two with their "dear Peggy" and ask every tea time, "Isn't she just the sweetest wife?" Then, dear father-in-law will want to give a bit of well-meaning advice (taking dear Peggy's hand in his) and will definitely suggest the opposite of what you were planning to do. And dear mother-in-law will have to poke her nose into Peggy's cupboard and insist on having the key to your private stash in the wainscot.
Then, perhaps, there is a little bevy of dirty-nosed nephews who come to spend the holidays, and eat up your East India sweetmeats; and who are forever tramping over your head or raising the old Harry below, while you are busy with your clients. Last, and worse, is some fidgety old uncle, forever too cold or too hot, who vexes you with his patronizing airs, and impudently kisses his little Peggy!
Then, maybe there’s a group of snot-nosed nephews who come to spend the holidays and gobble up your East India sweets; they’re always stomping around above you or causing a ruckus below while you’re busy with your clients. Lastly, and worst of all, there’s some fidgety old uncle who’s always too cold or too hot, annoying you with his condescending attitude, and shamelessly kissing his little Peggy!
That could be borne, however; for perhaps he has promised his fortune to Peggy. Peggy, then, will be rich (and the thought made me rub my shins, which were now getting comfortably warm upon the fire-dogs). Then she will be forever talking of her fortune; and pleasantly reminding you; on occasion of a favorite purchase, how lucky that she had the means; and dropping hints about economy; and buying very extravagant Paisleys.
That could be dealt with, though; maybe he has promised his fortune to Peggy. Peggy, then, will be rich (and the thought made me rub my shins, which were now getting comfortably warm by the fire). Then she’ll always be talking about her fortune; and nicely reminding you, when she makes a favorite purchase, how lucky that she had the means; and dropping hints about being frugal; and buying very extravagant Paisleys.
She will annoy you by looking over the stock-list at breakfast-time, and mention quite carelessly to your clients that she is interested in such or such a speculation.
She will bother you by checking the stock list at breakfast, and casually tell your clients that she’s interested in this or that investment.
She will be provokingly silent when you hint to a tradesman that you have not the money by you for his small bill—in short, she will tear the life out of you, making you pay in righteous retribution of annoyance, grief, vexation, shame, and sickness of heart, for the superlative folly of "marrying rich."
She will be frustratingly quiet when you suggest to a tradesman that you don’t have the cash for his small bill—in short, she will drain the life out of you, forcing you to pay in deserved annoyance, sadness, irritation, embarrassment, and heartbreak for the ultimate mistake of "marrying rich."
But if not rich, then poor. Bah! the thought made me stir the coals; but there was still no blaze. The paltry earnings you are able to wring out of clients by the sweat of your brow will now be all our income; you will be pestered for pin-money, and pestered with your poor wife's relations. Ten to one, she will stickle about taste—"Sir Visto's"—and want to make this so pretty, and that so charming, if she only had the means; and is sure Paul (a kiss) can't deny his little Peggy such a trifling sum, and all for the common benefit.
But if you’re not rich, then you’re poor. Ugh! The thought made me poke the coals; but there was still no fire. The measly earnings you can squeeze out of clients through hard work will be all our income; you’ll be hounded for extra cash and bothered by your poor wife’s relatives. Chances are, she’ll fuss about style—"Sir Visto's"—and want to make this look pretty and that look charming, if she only had the money; and she’s sure Paul (a kiss) can’t deny his little Peggy such a small amount, all for the common good.
Then she, for one, means that her children sha'n't go a-begging for clothes—and another pull at the purse. Trust a poor mother to dress her children in finery!
Then she, for one, means that her children won't go begging for clothes—and another pull at the purse. Trust a struggling mom to dress her kids in nice clothes!
Perhaps she is ugly—not noticeable at first, but growing on her, and (what is worse) growing faster on you. You wonder why you didn't see that vulgar nose long ago; and that lip—it is very strange, you think, that you ever thought it pretty. And then, to come to breakfast with her hair looking as it does, and you not so much as daring to say, "Peggy, do brush your hair!" Her foot, too—not very bad when decently chausse; but now since she's married she does wear such infernal slippers! And yet for all this, to be prigging up for an hour, when any of my old chums come to dine with me!
Maybe she’s not attractive—not at first, but it starts to become more obvious, and (even worse) it’s happening faster for you. You wonder why you didn’t notice that awkward nose earlier; and that lip—it’s really odd that you ever thought it was cute. And then to sit down for breakfast with her hair looking like that, and you don’t even dare to say, “Peggy, please brush your hair!” Her feet too—not so bad when she’s wearing proper shoes; but ever since she got married, she insists on wearing those awful slippers! And yet for all that, I still have to pretend for an hour when any of my old friends come over for dinner!
"Bless your kind hearts, my dear fellows," said I, thrusting the tongs into the coals and speaking out loud, as if my voice could reach from Virginia to Paris, "not married yet!"
"Bless your kind hearts, my dear friends," I said, putting the tongs into the coals and speaking loudly, as if my voice could travel from Virginia to Paris, "not married yet!"
Perhaps Peggy is pretty enough, only shrewish.
Perhaps Peggy is attractive enough, just really bossy.
No matter for cold coffee; you should have been up before.
No worries about the cold coffee; you should have gotten up earlier.
What sad, thin, poorly cooked chops, to eat with your rolls!
What sad, skinny, poorly cooked chops to eat with your rolls!
She thinks they are very good, and wonders how you can set such an example to your children.
She thinks they're great and wonders how you can be such a good role model for your kids.
The butter is nauseating.
The butter is disgusting.
She has no other, and hopes you'll not raise a storm about butter a little turned. I think I see myself, ruminated I, sitting meekly at table, scarce daring to lift up my eyes, utterly fagged out with some quarrel of yesterday, choking down detestably sour muffins, that my wife thinks are "delicious"—slipping in dried mouthfuls of burnt ham off the side of my forktines—slipping off my chair sideways at the end, and slipping out with my hat between my knees, to business, and never feeling myself a competent, sound-minded man till the oak door is between me and Peggy.
She doesn't have anyone else and hopes you won't make a big deal about slightly spoiled butter. I can picture myself, I thought, sitting quietly at the table, barely daring to look up, completely worn out from some argument from the day before, forcing down awful sour muffins that my wife thinks are "delicious"—shoving in dry bites of burnt ham from the side of my fork—sliding off my chair sideways at the end, and slipping out with my hat between my knees, heading to work, and never feeling like a competent, clear-thinking man until the oak door is closed between me and Peggy.
"Ha-ha! not yet!" said I, and in so earnest a tone that my dog started to his feet, cocked his eye to have a good look into my face, met my smile of triumph with an amiable wag of the tail, and curled up again in the corner.
"Ha-ha! Not yet!" I said, in such a serious tone that my dog jumped to his feet, tilted his head to get a better look at my face, responded to my triumphant smile with a friendly wag of his tail, and then curled up again in the corner.
Again, Peggy is rich enough, well enough, mild enough, only she doesn't care a fig for you. She has married you because father or grandfather thought the match eligible, and because she didn't wish to disoblige them. Besides, she didn't positively hate you, and thought you were a respectable enough young person; she has told you so repeatedly at dinner. She wonders you like to read poetry; she wishes you would buy her a good cook-book; and insists upon your making your will at the birth of the first baby.
Again, Peggy is rich enough, well off enough, and kind enough, but she doesn’t care at all about you. She married you because your dad or granddad thought it was a good match, and because she didn't want to upset them. Plus, she doesn’t outright hate you and thinks you’re a decent enough person; she has mentioned that to you many times at dinner. She’s surprised you like to read poetry; she wishes you would buy her a good cookbook; and she insists that you make your will when the first baby is born.
She thinks Captain So-and-So a splendid-looking fellow, and wishes you would trim up a little, were it only for appearance' sake.
She thinks Captain So-and-So is a great-looking guy and wishes you would clean yourself up a bit, even if it’s just for appearances.
You need not hurry up from the office so early at night, she, bless her dear heart! does not feel lonely. You read to her a love tale: she interrupts the pathetic parts with directions to her seamstress. You read of marriages: she sighs, and asks if Captain So-and-So has left town. She hates to be mewed up in a cottage, or between brick walls; she does so love the Springs!
You don’t have to rush home from the office so early in the evening; she, bless her heart, isn’t lonely. You read her a love story: she interrupts the sad parts with instructions for her seamstress. You read about weddings: she sighs and asks if Captain So-and-So has left town. She hates being cooped up in a cottage or surrounded by brick walls; she really loves the Springs!
But, again, Peggy loves you—at least she swears it, with her hand on "The Sorrows of Werter." She has pin-money which she spends for the "Literary World" and the "Friends in Council." She is not bad-looking, save a bit too much of forehead; nor is she sluttish, unless a negligé till three o'clock, and an ink-stain on the forefinger be sluttish; but then she is such a sad blue!
But, again, Peggy loves you—at least she says she does, with her hand on "The Sorrows of Werter." She has some extra money that she spends on the "Literary World" and "Friends in Council." She's not bad-looking, just maybe has a slightly prominent forehead; and she's not messy, unless wearing a negligé until three o'clock and having an ink-stain on her forefinger counts as messy; but she is such a depressing person!
You never fancied, when you saw her buried in a three-volume novel, that it was anything more than a girlish vagary; and when she quoted Latin, you thought innocently that she had a capital memory for her samplers.
You never imagined, when you saw her lost in a three-volume novel, that it was anything more than a youthful whim; and when she quoted Latin, you naively thought she just had a great memory for her embroidery.
But to be bored eternally about divine Dante and funny Goldoni is too bad. Your copy of Tasso, a treasure print of 1680, is all bethumbed and dog's-eared, and spotted with baby gruel. Even your Seneca—an Elzevir—is all sweaty with handling. She adores La Fontaine, reads Balzac with a kind of artist scowl, and will not let Greek alone.
But being eternally bored with divine Dante and amusing Goldoni is such a shame. Your copy of Tasso, a precious print from 1680, is all thumbed and dog-eared, and splattered with baby food. Even your Seneca—a rare Elzevir—is all sweaty from being handled. She loves La Fontaine, reads Balzac with a bit of an artist’s scowl, and can’t leave Greek alone.
You hint at broken rest and an aching head at breakfast, and she will fling you a scrap of Anthology—in lien of the camphor-bottle—or chant the [Greek] alai alai of tragic chorus.
You hint at a restless night and a pounding headache at breakfast, and she will toss you a piece of Anthology instead of the camphor bottle—or sing the [Greek] alai alai of a tragic chorus.
The nurse is getting dinner; you are holding the baby; Peggy is reading Bruyère.
The nurse is making dinner; you are holding the baby; Peggy is reading Bruyère.
The fire smoked thick as pitch, and puffed out little clouds over the chimney-piece. I gave the fore-stick a kick; at the thought of Peggy, baby, and Bruyère.
The fire smoked thick like tar, sending up small clouds over the mantel. I kicked the log, thinking of Peggy, the baby, and Bruyère.
Suddenly the flame flickered bluely athwart the smoke—caught at a twig below—rolled round the mossy oak-stick—twined among the crackling tree-limbs—mounted—lit up the whole body of smoke, and blazed out cheerily and bright. Doubt vanished with smoke, and hope began with flame.
Suddenly, the flame flickered with a blue hue through the smoke—caught on a twig below—wrapped around the mossy oak stick—twisted among the crackling branches—rose up—illuminated the entire volume of smoke, and burst forth cheerfully and brightly. Doubt disappeared with the smoke, and hope ignited with the flame.
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