This is a modern-English version of The Clever Woman of the Family, originally written by Yonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary).
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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THE CLEVER WOMAN OF THE FAMILY
by Charlotte M. Yonge
From the 1880 edition published by MacMillan and Co., London.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER I. IN SEARCH OF A MISSION
CHAPTER II. RACHEL’S DISCIPLINE
CHAPTER III. MACKAREL LANE
CHAPTER IV. THE HERO.
CHAPTER V. MILITARY SOCIETY.
CHAPTER VI. ERMINE’S RESOLUTION
CHAPTER VII. WAITNG FOR ROSE
CHAPTER VIII. WOMAN’S MISSION DISCOVERED.
CHAPTER IX. THE NEW SPORT
CHAPTER X. THE PHILANTHROPIST.
CHAPTER XI. LADY TEMPLE’S TROUBLES.
CHAPTER XII. A CHANGE AT THE PARSONAGE.
CHAPTER XIII. THE FOX AND THE CROW.
CHAPTER XIV. THE GOWANBRAE BALL.
CHAPTER XV. GO AND BRAY
CHAPTER XVI. AN APPARITION.
CHAPTER XVII. THE SIEGE.
CHAPTER XVIII. THE FORLORN HOPE.
CHAPTER XIX. THE BREWST SHE BREWED.
CHAPTER XX. THE SARACEN’S HEAD.
CHAPTER XXI. THE QUARTER SESSIONS.
CHAPTER XXII. THE AFTER CLAP
CHAPTER XXIII. DEAR ALEXANDER.
CHAPTER XXIV. THE HONEYMOON.
CHAPTER XXV. THE HUNTSFORD CROQUET.
CHAPTER XXVI. THE END OF CLEVERNESS.
CHAPTER XXVII. THE POST BAG.
CHAPTER XXVIII. VANITY OF VANITIES.
CHAPTER XXIX. AT LAST.
CHAPTER XXX. WHO IS THE CLEVER WOMAN?
CONTENTS
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ ON A MISSION
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_1__ RACHEL’S DISCIPLINE
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_2__ MACKAREL LANE
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_3__ THE HERO.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_4__ MILITARY SOCIETY.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_5__ ERMINE’S RESOLUTION
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_6__ WAITING FOR ROSE
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_7__ WOMAN’S MISSION DISCOVERED.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_8__ THE NEW SPORT
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_9__ THE PHILANTHROPIST.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_10__ LADY TEMPLE’S TROUBLES.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_11__ A CHANGE AT THE PARSONAGE.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_12__ THE FOX AND THE CROW.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_13__ THE GOWANBRAE BALL.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_14__ GO AND BRAY
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_15__ AN APPARITION.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_16__ THE SIEGE.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_17__ THE FORLORN HOPE.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_18__ THE BREWST SHE BREWED.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_19__ THE SARACEN’S HEAD.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_20__ THE QUARTER SESSIONS.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_21__ THE AFTER CLAP
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_22__ DEAR ALEXANDER.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_23__ THE HONEYMOON.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_24__ THE HUNTSFORD CROQUET.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_25__ THE END OF CLEVERNESS.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_26__ THE POST BAG.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_27__ VANITY OF VANITIES.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_28__ AT LAST.
__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_29__ WHO IS THE CLEVER WOMAN?
CHAPTER I. IN SEARCH OF A MISSION
“Thou didst refuse the daily round Of useful, patient love, And longedst for some great emprise Thy spirit high to prove.”—C. M. N.
“ You rejected the daily routine Of useful, patient love, And yearned for some great adventure To elevate your spirit.” —C. M. N.
“Che mi sedea con l’antica Rachele.”—DANTE.
“Where I sit with the ancient Rachel.” —DANTE.
“It is very kind in the dear mother.”
“It is very kind of the dear mother.”
“But—what, Rachel? Don’t you like it! She so enjoyed choosing it for you.”
“But—what’s wrong, Rachel? Don’t you like it? She really enjoyed picking it out for you.”
“Oh yes, it is a perfect thing in its way. Don’t say a word to her; but if you are consulted for my next birthday present, Grace, couldn’t you suggest that one does cease to be a girl.”
“Oh yes, it’s a perfect thing in its own way. Don’t say a word to her; but if you’re asked for my next birthday gift, Grace, couldn’t you suggest that one stops being a girl?”
“Only try it on, Rachel dear, she will be pleased to see you in it.”
“Just try it on, Rachel dear, she’ll be happy to see you in it.”
“Oh yes, I will bedizen myself to oblige her. I do assure you I am not ungrateful. It is beautiful in itself, and shows how well nature can be imitated; but it is meant for a mere girl, and this is the very day I had fixed for hauling down the flag of youth.”
“Oh yes, I will dress up to please her. I promise you I am not ungrateful. It is beautiful on its own and shows how well nature can be copied; but it is meant for a young girl, and this is the very day I had planned to lower the flag of youth.”
“Oh, Rachel.”
“Oh, Rachel.”
“Ah, ha! If Rachel be an old maid, what is Grace? Come, my dear, resign yourself! There is nothing more unbecoming than want of perception of the close of young-ladyhood.”
“Ah, ha! If Rachel is an old maid, then what is Grace? Come on, my dear, accept it! There’s nothing more unflattering than not realizing the end of your youth.”
“Of course I know we are not quite young girls now,” said Grace, half perplexed, half annoyed.
“Of course I know we aren’t young girls anymore,” Grace said, feeling both confused and annoyed.
“Exactly, from this moment we are established as the maiden sisters of Avonmouth, husband and wife to one another, as maiden pairs always are.”
“Exactly, from this moment we are recognized as the maiden sisters of Avonmouth, husband and wife to each other, just like maiden pairs always are.”
“Then thus let me crown, our bridal,” quoth Grace, placing on her sister’s head the wreath of white roses.
“Then let me crown our wedding,” Grace said, placing the wreath of white roses on her sister’s head.
“Treacherous child!” cried Rachel, putting up her hands and tossing her head, but her sister held her still.
“Traitorous child!” shouted Rachel, raising her hands and tossing her head, but her sister kept her in place.
“You know brides always take liberties. Please, dear, let it stay till the mother has been in, and pray don’t talk, before her of being so very old.”
“You know brides always take liberties. Please, dear, let it stay until the mother has been in, and please don’t talk to her about being so very old.”
“No, I’ll not be a shock to her. We will silently assume our immunities, and she will acquiesce if they come upon her gradually.”
“No, I won’t be a shock to her. We’ll quietly accept our defenses, and she’ll go along with it if it approaches her slowly.”
Grace looked somewhat alarmed, being perhaps in some dread of immunities, and aware that Rachel’s silence would in any one else have been talkativeness.
Grace looked a bit alarmed, possibly feeling some fear about her privileges, and realizing that Rachel’s silence would have seemed like chatter from anyone else.
“Ah, mother dear, good morning,” as a pleasant placid-looking lady entered, dressed in black, with an air of feeble health, but of comely middle age.
“Ah, dear mother, good morning,” said a calm, pleasant-looking woman who walked in, dressed in black, with a fragile appearance, yet in the prime of middle age.
Birthday greetings, congratulations, and thanks followed, and the mother looked critically at the position of the wreath, and Rachel for the first time turned to the glass and met a set of features of an irregular, characteristic cast, brow low and broad, nose retrousse, with large, singularly sensitive nostrils quivering like those of a high-bred horse at any emotion, full pouting lips, round cheeks glowing with the freshest red, eyes widely opened, dark deep grey and decidedly prominent, though curtained with thick black lashes. The glossy chestnut hair partook of the redundance and vigour of the whole being, and the roses hung on it gracefully though not in congruity with the thick winter dress of blue and black tartan, still looped up over the dark petticoat and hose, and stout high-heeled boots, that like the grey cloak and felt hat bore witness to the early walk. Grace’s countenance and figure were in the same style, though without so much of mark or animation; and her dress was of like description, but less severely plain.
Birthday greetings, congratulations, and thanks followed, and the mother looked critically at the position of the wreath. Rachel, for the first time, turned to the mirror and saw a face with irregular, distinctive features—broad forehead, turned-up nose with large, unusually sensitive nostrils that flared at any emotion, full, pouting lips, round cheeks glowing with a fresh flush, and wide-open, dark grey eyes that were strikingly protruding yet framed with thick black lashes. Her glossy chestnut hair reflected the overall richness and vitality of her being, with roses gracefully resting in it, although they didn’t quite match her thick winter outfit of blue and black tartan, which was still gathered up over the dark petticoat and stockings, and sturdy high-heeled boots, like the grey cloak and felt hat that hinted at her morning walk. Grace's face and figure had a similar style, but with less distinctiveness or energy, and her dress was similar in nature but not quite as plain.
“Yes, my dear, it looks very well; and now you will oblige me by not wearing that black lace thing, that looks fit for your grandmother.”
“Yes, my dear, it looks great; and now you will do me a favor by not wearing that black lace thing that looks like it's meant for your grandmother.”
“Poor Lovedy Kelland’s aunt made it, mother, and it was very expensive, and wouldn’t sell.”
“Poor Lovedy Kelland’s aunt made it, mom, and it was really pricey, and wouldn’t sell.”
“No wonder, I am sure, and it was very kind in you to take it off their hands; but now it is paid for, it can’t make much difference whether you disfigure yourself with it or not.”
“No wonder, I'm sure, and it was very nice of you to take it off their hands; but now that it's paid for, it really doesn’t make much difference whether you ruin it or not.”
“Oh yes, dear mother, I’ll bind my hair when you bid me do it and really these buds do credit to the makers. I wonder whether they cost them as dear in health as lace does,” she added, taking off the flowers and examining them with a grave sad look.
“Oh yes, dear mother, I’ll tie my hair up when you ask me to, and honestly, these flowers are a credit to the creators. I wonder if they took as much effort and care to make as lace does,” she said, removing the flowers and examining them with a serious, sad expression.
“I chose white roses,” proceeded the well-pleased mother, “because I thought they would suit either of the silks you have now, though I own I should like to see you in another white muslin.”
“I picked white roses,” the happy mother continued, “because I thought they would match either of the silks you have now, although I have to admit I’d love to see you in another white muslin.”
“I have done with white muslin,” said Rachel, rousing from her reverie. “It is an affectation of girlish simplicity not becoming at our age.”
“I’m done with white muslin,” said Rachel, snapping out of her daydream. “It’s a pretentious idea of girlish simplicity that doesn’t suit us at our age.”
“Oh Rachel!” thought Grace in despair; but to her great relief in at that moment filed the five maids, the coachman, and butler, and the mother began to read prayers.
“Oh Rachel!” thought Grace in despair; but to her great relief, at that moment, the five maids, the coachman, and the butler filed in, and her mother began to read prayers.
Breakfast over, Rachel gathered up her various gifts, and betook herself to a room on the ground floor with all the appliances of an ancient schoolroom. Rather dreamily she took out a number of copy-books, and began to write copies in them in large text hand.
Breakfast done, Rachel collected her various gifts and went to a room on the ground floor that had all the features of an old schoolroom. A bit absentmindedly, she took out several notebooks and started to write in them in large print.
“And this is all I am doing for my fellow-creatures,” she muttered half aloud. “One class of half-grown lads, and those grudged to me! Here is the world around one mass of misery and evil! Not a paper do I take up but I see something about wretchedness and crime, and here I sit with health, strength, and knowledge, and able to do nothing, nothing—at the risk of breaking my mother’s heart! I have pottered about cottages and taught at schools in the dilettante way of the young lady who thinks it her duty to be charitable; and I am told that it is my duty, and that I may be satisfied. Satisfied, when I see children cramped in soul, destroyed in body, that fine ladies may wear lace trimmings! Satisfied with the blight of the most promising buds! Satisfied, when I know that every alley and lane of town or country reeks with vice and corruption, and that there is one cry for workers with brains and with purses! And here am I, able and willing, only longing to task myself to the uttermost, yet tethered down to the merest mockery of usefulness by conventionalities. I am a young lady forsooth!—I must not be out late, I must not put forth my views; I must not choose my acquaintance, I must be a mere helpless, useless being, growing old in a ridiculous fiction of prolonged childhood, affecting those graces of so-called sweet seventeen that I never had—because, because why? Is it for any better reason than because no mother can bear to believe her daughter no longer on the lists for matrimony? Our dear mother does not tell herself that this is the reason, but she is unconsciously actuated by it. And I have hitherto given way to her wish. I mean to give way still in a measure; but I am five and twenty, and I will no longer be withheld from some path of usefulness! I will judge for myself, and when my mission has declared itself, I will not be withheld from it by any scruple that does not approve itself to my reason and conscience. If it be only a domestic mission—say the care of Fanny, poor dear helpless Fanny, I would that I knew she was safe,—I would not despise it, I would throw myself into it, and regard the training her and forming her boys as a most sacred office. It would not be too homely for me. But I had far rather become the founder of some establishment that might relieve women from the oppressive task-work thrown on them in all their branches of labour. Oh, what a worthy ambition!”
“And this is all I’m doing for my fellow humans,” she muttered half aloud. “One group of half-grown boys, and they’re begrudgingly given to me! The world is one big mess of misery and evil! Not a newspaper do I pick up without seeing something about suffering and crime, and here I sit with health, strength, and knowledge, and I can do nothing, nothing—risking my mother’s heartbreak! I’ve wandered around cottages and taught at schools in the superficial way of a young lady who thinks it’s her duty to be charitable; and I’m told it’s my duty, and that I should be satisfied. Satisfied, when I see children stifled in spirit, damaged in body, so that fine ladies can wear lace trimmings! Satisfied with the destruction of the most promising lives! Satisfied, when I know that every alley and street in town or country is filled with vice and corruption, and there’s a constant plea for workers with brains and money! And here I am, able and willing, just eager to push myself to the limit, yet stuck in the mere facade of usefulness due to social norms. I’m a young lady, after all!—I can’t be out late, I can’t express my opinions; I can’t choose my friends, I must be a mere helpless, useless being, getting older in a silly idea of extended childhood, pretending to have those charming traits of so-called sweet seventeen that I never possessed—why, exactly? For any better reason than because no mother can stand to think her daughter is no longer in the running for marriage? Our dear mother doesn’t admit this is the reason, but she is subconsciously driven by it. And I have until now given in to her wishes. I plan to continue to some extent; but I’m twenty-five, and I will no longer be held back from any path of usefulness! I will decide for myself, and when my purpose reveals itself, I won’t be stopped by any doubts that don’t make sense to my reason and conscience. Even if it’s just a domestic purpose—like caring for Fanny, poor dear helpless Fanny, I wish I knew she was safe,—I wouldn’t look down on it, I would fully embrace it, and consider the training of her and her boys as a sacred duty. It wouldn’t be too mundane for me. But I would much prefer to be the founder of some organization that could relieve women from the burdensome tasks imposed on them in all their areas of work. Oh, what a worthy ambition!”
“Rachel!” called Grace. “Come, there’s a letter, a letter from Fanny herself for you. Make haste, mamma is so nervous till you read it.”
“Rachel!” called Grace. “Come quick, there’s a letter, a letter from Fanny herself for you. Hurry up, mom is really anxious until you read it.”
No exhortation was needed to make Rachel hurry to the drawing-room, and tear open the black-edged letter with the Australian stamp.
No encouragement was needed to make Rachel rush to the living room and rip open the black-edged letter with the Australian stamp.
“All is right, mamma. She has been very ill, but is fast recovering, and was to sail by the Voluta. Why, she may be here any day.”
“All is good, Mom. She has been really sick, but she’s getting better quickly and was supposed to sail on the Voluta. She could be here any day now.”
“Any day! My dear Grace, see that the nurseries are well aired.”
“Any day! My dear Grace, please make sure the nurseries are well ventilated.”
“No, mother, she says her party is too large, and wants us to take a furnished house for her to come into at once—Myrtlewood if possible. Is it let, Grace?”
“No, mom, she says her party is too big, and she wants us to find a furnished house for her to move into right away—Myrtlewood if possible. Is it available, Grace?”
“I think I saw the notice in the window yesterday.”
"I think I saw the notice in the window yesterday."
“Then, I’ll go and see about it at once.”
“Then, I’ll check on it right away.”
“But, my dear, you don’t really mean that poor dear Fanny thinks of coming anywhere but to us?” said her mother, anxiously.
“But, my dear, you can’t really mean that poor Fanny thinks of going anywhere except coming to us?” said her mother, anxiously.
“It is very considerate of her,” said Grace, “with so many little children. You would find them too much for you, dear mother. It is just like Fanny to have thought of it. How many are there, Rachel?”
“It’s really thoughtful of her,” said Grace, “with so many little kids. You’d find them overwhelming, dear mother. It’s just like Fanny to have thought of that. How many are there, Rachel?”
“Oh! I can’t tell. They got past my reckoning long ago. I only know they are all boys, and that this baby is a girl.”
“Oh! I can’t say. They went beyond my understanding a long time ago. All I know is that they’re all boys, and this baby is a girl.”
“Baby! Ah, poor Fanny, I feared that was the reason the did not come sooner.”
“Baby! Ah, poor Fanny, I was worried that was why they didn't come sooner.”
“Yes, and she has been very ill; she always is, I believe, but there is very little about it. Fanny never could write letters; she only just says: ‘I have not been able to attempt a letter sooner, though my dear little girl is five weeks old to-day. Think of the daughter coming at last, too late for her dear father, who had so wished for one. She is very healthy, I am thankful to say; and I am now so much better, that the doctor says I may sail next week. Major Keith has taken our cabins, in the Voluta, and soon after you receive this, I hope to be showing you my dear boys. They are such good, affectionate fellows; but I am afraid they would be too much for my dear aunt, and our party is so large, so the Major and I both think it will be the best way for you to take a house for me for six months. I should like Myrtlewood best, if it is to be had. I have told Conrade all about it, and how pretty it is, and it is so near you that I think there I can be happy as ever I can be again in this world, and have your advice for the dear children.’”
“Yes, she’s been really sick; she always is, I think, but there's not much to say about it. Fanny has never been good at writing letters; she just says: ‘I haven’t been able to write sooner, though my dear little girl is five weeks old today. Can you believe our daughter finally came, but it was too late for her dear father, who wanted one so much? She’s very healthy, thank goodness; and I’m feeling much better now, so the doctor says I can sail next week. Major Keith has booked our cabins on the Voluta, and shortly after you get this, I hope to be showing you my dear boys. They’re such good, loving kids, but I worry they might be too much for my dear aunt, and our group is so large, so both the Major and I think it would be best for you to find me a house for six months. I’d prefer Myrtlewood, if it’s available. I’ve told Conrade all about it, and how lovely it is, and it’s so close to you that I think I could be as happy as I can be again in this world, and have your help with the dear children.’”
“Poor darling! she seems but a child herself.”
“Poor thing! She seems like a child herself.”
“My age—five and twenty,” returned Rachel. “Well I shall go and ask about the house. Remember, mother, this influx is to bring no trouble or care on you; Fanny Temple is my charge from henceforth. My mission has come to seek me,” she added as she quitted the room, in eager excitement of affection, emotion, and importance, for Fanny had been more like a sister than a cousin.
“My age—twenty-five,” Rachel replied. “Well, I’ll go ask about the house. Remember, Mom, this new situation isn’t meant to cause you any trouble or worry; Fanny Temple will be my responsibility from now on. My purpose here has found me,” she added as she left the room, filled with eager excitement, affection, and a sense of importance, since Fanny had been more like a sister than a cousin.
Grace and Rachel Curtis were the daughters of the squire of the Homestead; Fanny, of his brother, an officer in the army. Left at home for education, the little girl had spent her life, from her seventh to her sixteenth year, as absolutely one with her cousins, until she was summoned to meet her father at the Cape, under the escort of his old friend, General Sir Stephen Temple. She found Colonel Curtis sinking under fatal disease, and while his relations were preparing to receive, almost to maintain, his widow and daughter, they were electrified by the tidings that the gentle little Fanny, at sixteen, had become the wife of Sir Stephen Temple, at sixty.
Grace and Rachel Curtis were the daughters of the squire of the Homestead; Fanny was their cousin, the daughter of his brother, who was an army officer. Growing up together for her education, Fanny spent her life from age seven to sixteen completely intertwined with her cousins until she was called to join her father at the Cape, accompanied by his old friend, General Sir Stephen Temple. When she arrived, she found Colonel Curtis gravely ill, and while her family was preparing to support his widow and daughter, they were shocked to learn that the sweet little Fanny, at sixteen, had married Sir Stephen Temple, who was sixty.
From that time little had been known about her; her mother had continued with her, but the two Mrs. Curtises had never been congenial or intimate; and Fanny was never a full nor willing correspondent, feeling perhaps the difficulty of writing under changed circumstances. Her husband had been in various commands in the colonies, without returning to England; and all that was known of her was a general impression that she had much ill-health and numerous children, and was tended like an infant by her bustling mother and doting husband. More than half a year back, tidings had come of the almost sudden death of her mother; and about three months subsequently, one of the officers of Sir Stephen’s staff had written to announce that the good old general had been killed by a fall from his horse, while on a round of inspection at a distance from home. The widow was then completely prostrated by the shock, but promised to write as soon as she was able, and this was the fulfilment of that promise, bringing the assurance that Fanny was coming back with her little ones to the home of her childhood.
From that time, not much had been known about her; her mother had stayed with her, but the two Mrs. Curtises had never really gotten along or been close. Fanny was never a committed or eager correspondent, perhaps feeling the challenge of writing under changed circumstances. Her husband had taken on various commands in the colonies without returning to England; all that was known about her was a general impression that she had many health issues and several children, and was cared for like a baby by her busy mother and devoted husband. More than six months ago, news had come of her mother’s unexpected death; about three months later, one of the officers from Sir Stephen’s staff had written to say that the good old general had died after falling off his horse while inspecting an area far from home. The widow was completely overwhelmed by the shock but promised to write as soon as she could. This letter was the fulfillment of that promise, bringing the news that Fanny was coming back with her little ones to her childhood home.
Of that home, Grace and Rachel were the joint-heiresses, though it was owned by the mother for her life. It was an estate of farm and moorland, worth some three or four thousand a year, and the house was perched on a beautiful promontory, running out into the sea, and inclosing one side of a bay, where a small fishing-village had recently expanded into a quiet watering-place, esteemed by some for its remoteness from railways, and for the calm and simplicity that were yearly diminished by its increasing popularity. It was the family fashion to look down from their crag at the new esplanade with pity and contempt for the ruined loneliness of the pebbly beach; and as Mrs. Curtis had not health to go often into society, she had been the more careful where she trusted her daughters. They belonged to the county by birth and tradition, and were not to be mixed up with the fleeting residents of the watering-place, on whom they never called, unless by special recommendation from a mutual friend; and the few permanent inhabitants chanced to be such, that a visit to them was in some degree a condescension. Perhaps there was more of timidity and caution than of pride in the mother’s exclusiveness, and Grace had always acquiesced in it as the natural and established state of affairs, without any sense of superiority, but rather of being protected. She had a few alarms as to the results of Rachel’s new immunities of age, and though never questioning the wisdom of her clever sister’s conclusions, dreaded the effect on the mother, whom she had been forbidden to call mamma. “At their age it was affecting an interesting childishness.”
Grace and Rachel were the joint heirs of their home, although their mother owned it for her lifetime. It was a farm and moorland estate worth about three or four thousand a year, with the house sitting on a stunning promontory that jutted out into the sea, enclosing one side of a bay. A small fishing village nearby had recently transformed into a quiet vacation spot, valued by some for its distance from railways and the calm, simple atmosphere that was fading each year due to its growing popularity. The family had a habit of looking down from their cliff at the new esplanade with pity and disdain for the ruined solitude of the pebbled beach. Since Mrs. Curtis didn't have the health to socialize often, she was more careful about whom she allowed her daughters to associate with. They were county natives by birth and tradition and didn’t mingle with the short-term residents of the watering place, only visiting them if recommended by a mutual friend. The few permanent residents happened to be such that visiting them felt somewhat like a favor. There may have been more timidity and caution than pride in the mother’s exclusivity, and Grace had always accepted it as the natural state of things, feeling protected rather than superior. She had some worries about the implications of Rachel’s newfound freedoms with age, and although she never doubted her clever sister’s judgments, she feared the impact on their mother, whom she had been told to avoid calling “mamma.” “At their age, it was affecting an interesting childishness.”
Rachel had had the palm of cleverness conceded to her ever since she could recollect, when she read better at three years old than her sister at five, and ever after, through the days of education, had enjoyed, and excelled in, the studies that were a toil to Grace. Subsequently, while Grace had contented herself with the ordinary course of unambitious feminine life, Rachel had thrown herself into the process of self-education with all her natural energy, and carried on her favourite studies by every means within her reach, until she considerably surpassed in acquirements and reflection all the persons with whom she came in frequent contact. It was a homely neighbourhood, a society well born, but of circumscribed interests and habits, and little connected with the great progressive world, where, however, Rachel’s sympathies all lay, necessarily fed, however, by periodical literature, instead of by conversation or commerce with living minds.
Rachel had been recognized as clever for as long as she could remember. She read better at three than her sister did at five, and from then on, throughout her education, she thrived in subjects that were a struggle for Grace. While Grace settled into a typical, unambitious life for women, Rachel dedicated herself to self-education with all her natural energy. She pursued her favorite subjects by every means available, eventually surpassing everyone she frequently interacted with in knowledge and thought. The neighborhood was familiar and comprised of well-off families, but with limited interests and lifestyles, disconnected from the broader progressive world that Rachel felt drawn to. Her interests were mainly fed by magazines and periodicals rather than conversations or interactions with living thinkers.
She began by being stranded on the ignorance of those who surrounded her, and found herself isolated as a sort of pedant; and as time went on, the narrowness of interests chafed her, and in like manner left her alone. As she grew past girlhood, the cui bono question had come to interfere with her ardour in study for its own sake, and she felt the influence of an age eminently practical and sifting, but with small powers of acting. The quiet Lady Bountiful duties that had sufficed her mother and sister were too small and easy to satisfy a soul burning at the report of the great cry going up to heaven from a world of sin and woe. The examples of successful workers stimulated her longings to be up and doing, and yet the ever difficult question between charitable works and filial deference necessarily detained her, and perhaps all the more because it was not so much the fear of her mother’s authority as of her horror and despair, that withheld her from the decisive and eccentric steps that she was always feeling impelled to take. Gentle Mrs. Curtis had never been a visible power in her house, and it was through their desire to avoid paining her that her government had been exercised over her two daughters ever since their father’s death, which had taken place in Grace’s seventeenth year. Both she and Grace implicitly accepted Rachel’s superiority as an unquestionable fact, and the mother, when traversing any of her clever daughter’s schemes, never disputed either her opinions or principles, only entreated that these particular developments might be conceded to her own weakness; and Rachel generally did concede. She could not act; but she could talk uncontradicted, and she hated herself for the enforced submission to a state of things that she despised.
She started off feeling trapped by the ignorance of those around her, and ended up feeling isolated as a kind of know-it-all. As time passed, the limited interests of others began to frustrate her and left her feeling alone. As she grew out of her teenage years, the question of "what's the point?" started to interfere with her passion for learning just for the sake of it, and she felt the pressure of a practical age that was good at analyzing but not at taking action. The quiet charitable duties that had been enough for her mother and sister were too small and easy to satisfy a soul that was restless about the cries of the world suffering from sin and misery. The examples of successful activists fueled her desire to take action, but the challenging dilemma between charity and honoring her family kept holding her back. It was less about fearing her mother’s authority and more about being horrified by her despair that prevented her from taking the bold and unusual steps she felt compelled to take. Gentle Mrs. Curtis had never been a dominant force in their home, and out of a desire not to hurt her feelings, she had guided her two daughters since their father’s death when Grace was seventeen. Both she and Grace accepted Rachel’s superiority as an obvious truth, and the mother, when challenging any of her bright daughter’s plans, never argued against her opinions or principles, instead asking that these particular choices could be attributed to her own weakness; and Rachel usually agreed. She couldn’t take action, but she could speak freely without contradiction, and she loathed herself for having to submit to a situation she despised.
This twenty-fifth birthday had long been anticipated as the turning-point when this submissive girlhood ought to close, and the privileges of acting as well as thinking for herself ought to be assumed. Something to do was her cry, and on this very day that something seemed to be cast in her way. It was not ameliorating the condition of the masses, but it was educating those who might ameliorate them; and Rachel gladly hailed the prospect of a vocation that might be conducted without pain to her mother.
This twenty-fifth birthday had been eagerly awaited as the moment when her obedient girlhood should come to an end, and she could take on the responsibilities of thinking and acting for herself. She cried out for something to do, and on that very day, an opportunity presented itself. It wasn't about improving the lives of the masses, but it was about educating those who could. Rachel was excited about the possibility of a career that wouldn't cause her mother any distress.
Young children of her own class were not exactly what her dream of usefulness had devised; but she had already a decided theory of education, and began to read up with all her might, whilst taking the lead in all the details of house taking, servant hiring, &c., to which her regular occupations of night school in the evening and reading to the lacemakers by day, became almost secondary. In due time the arrival of the ship was telegraphed, a hurried and affectionate note followed, and, on a bright east-windy afternoon, Rachel Curtis set forth to take up her mission. A telegram had announced the arrival of the Voluta, and the train which would bring the travellers to Avonchester. The Homestead carriage was sent to meet them, and Rachel in it, to give her helpless cousin assistance in this beginning of English habits. A roomy fly had been engaged for nurses and children, and Mrs. Curtis had put under the coachman’s charge a parcel of sandwiches, and instructed him to offer all the appliances for making her own into an invalid carriage.
Young children from her own class weren't exactly what she had envisioned for her sense of purpose; however, she already had a clear educational philosophy and started reading intensely. Meanwhile, she took charge of all house-related tasks, hiring staff, and similar details, while her regular activities of night school in the evening and reading to the laceworkers during the day became almost secondary. Eventually, the arrival of the ship was announced via telegram, followed by a quick and loving note. On a bright, breezy afternoon, Rachel Curtis set out to embrace her mission. A telegram had communicated the arrival of the Voluta and the train that would bring the travelers to Avonchester. The Homestead carriage was sent to pick them up, and Rachel was there to help her helpless cousin get accustomed to English ways. A spacious carriage had been arranged for the nurses and children, and Mrs. Curtis instructed the coachman to take a parcel of sandwiches and provide everything needed to convert her own carriage into one suitable for an invalid.
Full of warm tenderness to those who were to be dependent on her exertions, led by her good sense, Rachel paced the platform till the engine rushed up, and she looked along the line of windows, suddenly bewildered. Doors opened, but gentlemen alone met her disappointed eye, until close to her a soft voice said, “Rachel!” and she saw a figure in deep black close to her; but her hand had been hardly clasped before the face was turned eagerly to a tall, bearded man, who was lifting out little boy after little boy, apparently in an endless stream, till at last a sleeping baby was brought out in the arms of a nurse.
Full of warm affection for those who relied on her efforts, guided by her good judgment, Rachel walked back and forth on the platform until the train arrived, and she scanned the line of windows, feeling momentarily confused. Doors opened, but she only saw gentlemen meeting her disappointed gaze, until a soft voice nearby said, “Rachel!” and she noticed a figure dressed in deep black next to her; just as her hand was barely clasped, the person turned eagerly toward a tall, bearded man who was pulling out little boy after little boy, seemingly without end, until finally, a sleeping baby was handed out in the arms of a nurse.
“Good-bye. Thank you, oh, thank you. You will come soon. Oh, do come on now.”
“Goodbye. Thank you, oh, thank you. You'll come soon. Oh, please do come now.”
“Do come on now,” was echoed by many voices.
“Come on now,” many voices echoed.
“I leave you in good hands. Good-bye.”
“I’m leaving you in good hands. Goodbye.”
“Good-bye. Conrade dear, see what Cyril is doing; never mind, Wilfred, the Major will come and see us; run on with Coombe.” This last was a respectable military-looking servant, who picked up a small child in one hand and a dressing-case in the other, and awaited orders.
“Good-bye. Conrade, dear, look at what Cyril is doing; don’t worry, Wilfred, the Major will come and visit us; go on with Coombe.” This last was a respectable-looking servant in military attire, who picked up a small child in one hand and a suitcase in the other, waiting for instructions.
There was a clinging to the Major by all the children, only ended by his finally precipitating himself into the carriage, and being borne off. Then came a chorus—“Mamma, let me go with you;” “I’ll go with mamma;” “Me go with mamma;” according to the gradations of age.
There was a clinginess to the Major from all the children, only stopping when he finally jumped into the carriage and was taken away. Then came a chorus—“Mom, let me go with you;” “I’ll go with Mom;” “Me go with Mom;” depending on their ages.
While Coombe and mamma decided the question by lifting the lesser ones into the fly, Rachel counted heads. Her mission exceeded her expectations. Here was a pair of boys in knickerbockers, a pair in petticoats, a pair in pelisses, besides the thing in arms. When the fly had been nearly crammed, the two knickerbockers and one pelisse remained for the carriage, quite against Rachel’s opinion, but “Little Wilfred can sit on my lap, he has not been well, poor little man,” was quite conclusive; and when Rachel suggested lying back to rest, there was a sweet, low laugh, and, “Oh, no thank you, Wilfred never tires me.”
While Coombe and mom settled the matter by putting the younger ones in the carriage, Rachel counted heads. Her task turned out to be more successful than she expected. There was a pair of boys in knickerbockers, a pair in dresses, a pair in fancy coats, besides the baby in arms. When the carriage was almost full, the two boys in knickerbockers and one girl in a dress were left for the carriage, quite against Rachel’s wishes, but “Little Wilfred can sit on my lap, he hasn’t been well, poor little guy,” was totally convincing; and when Rachel suggested leaning back to rest, there was a sweet, soft laugh, and, “Oh, no thank you, Wilfred never tires me.”
Rachel’s first satisfaction was in seeing the veil disclose the face of eight years back, the same soft, clear, olive skin, delicate, oval face, and pretty deep-brown eyes, with the same imploring, earnest sweetness; no signs of having grown older, no sign of wear and tear, climate, or exertion, only the widow’s dress and the presence of the great boys enhancing her soft youthfulness. The smile was certainly changed; it was graver, sadder, tenderer, and only conjured up by maternal affection or in grateful reply, and the blitheness of the young brow had changed to quiet pensiveness, but more than ever there was an air of dependence almost beseeching protection, and Rachel’s heart throbbed with Britomart’s devotion to her Amoret.
Rachel’s first joy came from seeing the veil lift to reveal the face from eight years ago, the same soft, clear, olive skin, delicate, oval face, and pretty deep-brown eyes, with the same pleading, sincere sweetness; no signs of aging, no marks of wear and tear, climate, or effort, just the widow’s dress and the presence of the older boys highlighting her youthful softness. The smile had definitely changed; it was more serious, sadder, tenderer, and only appeared from maternal affection or in grateful response, and the cheerful demeanor of her youth had turned into quiet reflection, but more than ever there was an air of needing support, almost begging for protection, and Rachel’s heart thumped with Britomart’s devotion to her Amoret.
“Why wouldn’t the Major come, mamma?”
“Why didn’t the Major come, mom?”
“He will soon come, I hope, my dear.”
“He'll be here soon, I hope, my dear.”
Those few words gave Rachel a strong antipathy to the Major.
Those few words made Rachel strongly dislike the Major.
Then began a conversation under difficulties, Fanny trying to inquire after her aunt, and Rachel to detail the arrangements made for her at Myrtlewood, while the two boys were each accommodated with a window; but each moment they were claiming their mother’s attention, or rushing across the ladies’ feet to each other’s window, treating Rachel’s knees as a pivot, and vouchsafing not the slightest heed to her attempts at intelligent pointing out of the new scenes.
Then a challenging conversation started, with Fanny trying to ask about her aunt and Rachel explaining the plans made for her at Myrtlewood, while the two boys each had a window seat. But every moment, they were demanding their mother’s attention or dashing across the ladies’ feet to each other’s window, using Rachel’s knees as a pivot, completely ignoring her efforts to point out the new sights.
And Fanny made no apology, but seemed pleased, ready with answers and with eyes, apparently ignorant that Rachel’s toes were less insensible than her own, and her heavy three-years-old Wilfred asleep on her lap all the time.
And Fanny didn’t apologize but appeared happy, quick to respond and with eyes wide open, seemingly unaware that Rachel’s toes were more sensitive than her own, while her heavy three-year-old Wilfred slept on her lap the whole time.
“She feeble, helpless, sickly!” thought Rachel, “I should have been less tired had I walked the twenty miles!”
“She’s weak, helpless, sickly!” thought Rachel. “I would have been less tired if I had walked the twenty miles!”
She gave up talking in despair, and by the time the young gentlemen had tired themselves into quiescence, and began to eat the provisions, both ladies were glad to be allowed a little silence.
She stopped talking in frustration, and by the time the young men had worn themselves out and started to eat the food, both ladies were happy to have a moment of silence.
Coming over the last hill, Conrade roused at his mother’s summons to look out at “home,” and every word between them showed how fondly Avonmouth had been remembered far away.
Coming over the last hill, Conrade woke up at his mother’s call to look out at “home,” and every word between them showed how fondly Avonmouth had been remembered from far away.
“The sea!” said Fanny, leaning forwards to catch sight of the long grey line; “it is hard to believe we have been on it so long, this seems so much more my own.”
“The sea!” Fanny exclaimed, leaning forward to see the long gray line. “It's hard to believe we've been on it for so long; this feels so much more like home.”
“Yes,” cried Rachel, “you are come to your own home, for us to take care of you.”
“Yes,” Rachel exclaimed, “you've come home, and we're here to take care of you.”
“I take care of mamma! Major Keith said so,” indignantly exclaimed Conrade.
“I take care of mom! Major Keith said so,” Conrade exclaimed indignantly.
“There’s plenty of care for you both to take,” said Fanny, half-smiling, half-sobbing. “The Major says I need not be a poor creature, and I will try. But I am afraid I shall be on all your hands.”
“There's a lot of care for both of you to give,” Fanny said, half-smiling, half-sobbing. “The Major says I don’t have to be a helpless person, and I’ll try. But I’m afraid I’ll be a burden to all of you.”
Both boys drummed on her knee in wrath at her presuming to call herself a poor creature—Conrade glaring at Rachel as if to accuse her of the calumny.
Both boys beat on her knee in anger at her for daring to call herself a poor creature—Conrade staring at Rachel as if to blame her for the slander.
“See the church,” said Lady Temple, glad to divert the storm, and eagerly looking at the slender spire surmounting the bell-turret of a small building in early-decorated style, new, but somewhat stained by sea-wind, without having as yet acquired the tender tints of time. “How beautiful!” was her cry. “You were beginning the collection for it when I went away! How we used to wish for it.”
“Look at the church,” Lady Temple said, happy to change the subject, as she eagerly gazed at the slim spire topping the bell tower of a small building in early decorative style, new but slightly weathered by the sea breeze, without yet having the soft hues that come with age. “It’s so beautiful!” she exclaimed. “You were starting the fundraising for it when I left! We used to hope for this.”
“Yes, we did,” said Rachel, with a significant sigh; but her cousin had no time to attend, for they were turning in a pepper-box lodge. The boys were told that they were arrived, and they were at the door of a sort of overgrown Swiss cottage, where Mrs. Curtis and Grace stood ready to receive them.
“Yes, we did,” Rachel said with a meaningful sigh; but her cousin didn’t have time to listen, as they were pulling up to a quaint lodge. The boys were informed that they had arrived, and they found themselves in front of a large Swiss-style cottage, where Mrs. Curtis and Grace were waiting to greet them.
There was a confusion of embraces, fondlings, and tears, as Fanny clung to the aunt who had been a mother to her—perhaps a more tender one than the ruling, managing spirit, whom she had hardly known in her childhood; but it was only for a moment, for Wilfred shrieked out in an access of shyness at Grace’s attempt to make acquaintance with him; Francis was demanding, “Where’s the orderly?” and Conrade looking brimful of wrath at any one who made his mother cry. Moreover, the fly had arrived, and the remainder had to be produced, named, and kissed—Conrade and Francis, Leoline and Hubert, Wilfred and Cyril, and little Stephana the baby. Really the names were a study in themselves, and the cousins felt as if it would be hopeless to endeavour to apply them.
There was a mix of hugs, touches, and tears as Fanny held onto the aunt who had been like a mother to her—perhaps even more caring than the strict, controlling figure she barely remembered from her childhood. But this moment was short-lived because Wilfred cried out in embarrassment at Grace's attempt to introduce herself; Francis was asking, “Where’s the orderly?” and Conrade was glaring at anyone who made his mother cry. Plus, the cab had arrived, and everyone had to be gathered, named, and kissed—Conrade and Francis, Leoline and Hubert, Wilfred and Cyril, and little baby Stephana. Honestly, the names were a challenge on their own, and the cousins felt it would be pointless to try to remember them all.
Servants had been engaged conditionally, and the house was fully ready, but the young mother could hardly listen to her aunt’s explanations in her anxiety that the little ones should be rested and fed, and she responded with semi-comprehending thanks, while moving on with her youngest in her arms, and as many hanging to her dress as could get hold of it. Her thanks grew more emphatic at the sight of cribs in inviting order, and all things ready for a meal.
Servants had been hired on a trial basis, and the house was completely prepared, but the young mother could barely pay attention to her aunt’s explanations, anxious that the little ones should be rested and fed. She responded with half-hearted thanks while moving on with her youngest in her arms, and as many kids hanging onto her dress as could manage to grab it. Her thanks became more enthusiastic at the sight of neatly arranged cribs and everything ready for a meal.
“I don’t drink tea with nurse,” was Conrade’s cry, the signal for another general outcry, untranquillized by soothings and persuasions, till the door was shut on the younger half of the family, and those who could not open it remained to be comforted by nurse, a soldier’s widow, who had been with them from the birth of Conrade.
“I don’t drink tea with the nurse,” Conrade shouted, prompting another loud protest, unfazed by attempts to calm and persuade them, until the door was closed on the younger half of the family, and those who couldn’t open it stayed behind to be comforted by the nurse, a soldier’s widow who had been with them since Conrade was born.
The Temple form of shyness seemed to consist in ignoring strangers, but being neither abashed nor silenced, only resenting or avoiding all attempts at intercourse, and as the boys rushed in and out of the rooms, exploring, exclaiming, and calling mamma, to the interruption of all that was going on, only checked for a few minutes by her uplifted hand and gentle hush, Grace saw her mother so stunned and bewildered that she rejoiced in the fear of cold that had decided that Rachel alone should spend the evening there. Fanny made some excuses; she longed to see more of her aunt, but when they were a little more settled,—and as a fresh shout broke out, she was afraid they were rather unruly,—she must come and talk to her at the dear Homestead. So kind of Rachel to stay—not that the boys seemed to think so, as they went racing in and out, stretching their ship-bound legs, and taking possession of the minute shrubbery, which they scorned for the want of gum-trees and parrots.
The Temple-style shyness seemed to involve ignoring strangers but not being embarrassed or quiet, just resenting or avoiding any attempts at interaction. As the boys ran in and out of the rooms, exploring, shouting, and calling for Mom, interrupting everything happening around them, they were only paused for a few minutes by her raised hand and gentle hush. Grace noticed her mother looking so stunned and confused that she felt relieved that the cold had decided Rachel should be the one to spend the evening there. Fanny made some excuses; she wanted to spend more time with her aunt, but once they were a little more settled—and as another loud shout erupted, she worried they were being too rowdy—she had to go and chat with her at the beloved Homestead. How nice of Rachel to stay—not that the boys seemed to think so as they dashed in and out, stretching their ship-bound legs and claiming the tiny shrubbery, which they dismissed for lacking gum trees and parrots.
“You won’t mind, Rachel dear, I must first see about baby;” and Rachel was left to reflect on her mission, while the boys’ feet cantered up and down the house, and one or other of them would look in, and burst away in search of mamma.
“You won’t mind, Rachel dear, I have to check on the baby first;” and Rachel was left to think about her task, while the boys ran around the house, and one of them would peek in and then dash off in search of mom.
Little more satisfactory was the rest of the evening, for the boys took a great deal of waiting on at tea, and then some of the party would not go to sleep in strange beds without long persuasions and comfortings, till Fanny looked so weary that it was plain that no conversation could have been hoped from her, even if the baby had been less vociferous. All that could be done for her was to wish her good-night, and promise to come down early.
Little more satisfying was the rest of the evening, as the boys spent a lot of time waiting on tea, and then some of the group wouldn't go to sleep in unfamiliar beds without a lot of convincing and reassurance. Eventually, Fanny looked so tired that it was clear no conversation could be expected from her, even if the baby had been quieter. All that could be done for her was to wish her good night and promise to come down early.
Come early! Yes, Rachel might come, but what was the use of that when Fanny was at the mercy of so many claimants? She looked much better than the day before, and her sweet, soft welcome was most cordial and clinging. “Dear Rachel, it is like a dream to have you so near. I felt like the old life come back again to hear the surge of the sea all night, and know I should see you all so soon again.”
Come early! Yes, Rachel might come, but what good would that do when Fanny was overwhelmed by so many people wanting her attention? She looked much better than the day before, and her warm, gentle welcome was really heartfelt and close. “Dear Rachel, it feels like a dream to have you so close. Hearing the sound of the sea all night made me feel like the old days were returning, and I knew I would see all of you again so soon.”
“Yes, it is a great satisfaction to have you back in your old home, under our wing. I have a great deal to tell you about the arrangements.”
“Yes, it's such a pleasure to have you back in your old home, with us. I have so much to share with you about the plans.”
“Oh yes; thank you—”
“Oh yes, thank you!”
“Mamma!” roared two or three voices.
“Mama!” shouted two or three voices.
“I wanted to explain to you—” But Fanny’s eye was roaming, and just then in burst two boys. “Mamma, nurse won’t undo the tin box, and my ship is in it that the Major gave me.”
“I wanted to explain to you—” But Fanny’s eyes were wandering, and just then two boys burst in. “Mom, the nurse won’t open the tin box, and my ship that the Major gave me is in it.”
“Yes, and my stuffed duck-bill, and I want it, mamma.”
“Yes, and my stuffed duck-bill, and I want it, mom.”
“My dear Con, the Major would not let you shout so loud about it, and you have not spoken to Aunt Rachel.”
“My dear Con, the Major wouldn't let you talk so loudly about it, and you haven't spoken to Aunt Rachel.”
The boys did present their hands, and then returned to the charge. “Please order nurse to unpack it, mamma, and then Coombe will help us to sail it.”
The boys showed their hands and then went back to their task. “Please ask the nurse to unpack it, Mom, and then Coombe will help us sail it.”
“Excuse me, dear Rachel,” said Fanny, “I will first see about this.”
“Excuse me, Rachel,” said Fanny, “Let me check on this first.”
And a very long seeing it was, probably meaning that she unpacked the box herself, whilst Rachel was deciding on the terrible spoiling of the children, and preparing a remonstrance.
And it took a really long time, probably because she unpacked the box herself while Rachel was thinking about how badly the children were being spoiled and getting ready to protest.
“Dear Rachel, you have been left a long time.”
“Dear Rachel, you've been waiting a long time.”
“Oh, never mind that, but, Fanny, you must not give way to those children too much; they will be always—Hark! was that the door-bell?”
“Oh, never mind that, but Fanny, you shouldn’t indulge those kids too much; they will always—Hark! Was that the doorbell?”
It was, and the visitor was announced as “Mr. Touchett;” a small, dark, thin young clergyman he was, of a nervous manner, which, growing more nervous as he shook hands with Rachel, became abrupt and hesitating.
It was, and the visitor was introduced as “Mr. Touchett;” he was a small, dark, thin young clergyman with a nervous demeanor, which became even more anxious as he shook hands with Rachel, turning abrupt and hesitant.
“My call is—is early, Lady Temple; but I always pay my respects at once to any new parishioner—resident, I mean—in case I can be of any service.”
“My visit is a bit early, Lady Temple; but I always make it a point to pay my respects to any new parishioner—someone living here, I mean—just in case I can be of any help.”
“Thank you, I am very much obliged,” said Fanny, with a sweet, gracious smile and manner that would have made him more at ease at once, if Rachel had not added, “My cousin is quite at home here, Mr. Touchett.”
“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” said Fanny, with a warm, friendly smile and demeanor that would have put him at ease right away, if Rachel hadn’t added, “My cousin feels completely at home here, Mr. Touchett.”
“Oh yes,” he said, “so—so I understood.”
“Oh yes,” he said, “I get it now.”
“I know no place in England so well; it is quite a home to me, so beautiful it is,” continued Fanny.
“I know no place in England as well; it feels like home to me, it’s so beautiful,” continued Fanny.
“And you see great changes here.”
“And you can see significant changes here.”
“Changes so much for the better,” said Fanny, smiling her winning smile again.
“Changes so much for the better,” Fanny said, flashing her charming smile once more.
“One always expects more from improvements than they effect,” put in Rachel, severely.
"People always expect more from improvements than they actually deliver," Rachel said, sternly.
“You have a large young party,” said Mr. Touchett, looking uneasily towards Lady Temple.
“You have a big young group,” said Mr. Touchett, glancing nervously at Lady Temple.
“Yes, I have half a dozen boys and one little girl.”
"Yes, I have six boys and one little girl."
“Seven!” Mr. Touchett looked up half incredulous at the girlish contour of the gentle face, then cast down his eyes as if afraid he had been rude. “Seven! It is—it is a great charge.”
“Seven!” Mr. Touchett looked up, half in disbelief at the feminine shape of the gentle face, then lowered his eyes as though worried he had been disrespectful. “Seven! That’s—it's a significant responsibility.”
“Yes, indeed it is,” she said earnestly; “and I am sure you will be kind enough to give your influence to help me with them—poor boys.”
“Yes, it really is,” she said earnestly; “and I’m sure you’ll be kind enough to use your influence to help me with them—poor boys.”
“Oh! oh!” he exclaimed, “anything I can do—” in such a transport of eager helpfulness that Rachel coldly said, “We are all anxious to assist in the care of the children.” He coloured up, and with a sort of effort at self-assertion, blurted out, “As the clergyman of the parish—,” and there halted, and was beginning to look foolish, when Lady Temple took him up in her soft, persuasive way. “Of course we shall look to you so much, and you will be so kind as to let me know if there is any one I can send any broth to at anytime.”
“Oh! oh!” he exclaimed, “is there anything I can do—” with such an eagerness to help that Rachel replied coldly, “We’re all eager to help with the children.” He turned red and, trying to assert himself, blurted out, “As the parish clergyman—,” and then stopped, starting to look foolish, when Lady Temple gently took over. “Of course, we will rely on you a lot, and it would be so kind of you to let me know if there’s anyone I can send broth to at any time.”
“Thank you; you are very good;” and he was quite himself again. “I shall have the pleasure of sending you down a few names.”
“Thank you; you’re really great;” and he was back to his old self. “I’ll be happy to send you a few names.”
“I never did approve the broken victual system,” began Rachel, “it creates dependence.”
“I never liked the broken food system,” Rachel said, “it creates dependence.”
“Come here, Hubert,” said Fanny, beckoning a boy she saw at a distance, “come and shake hands with Mr. Touchett.” It was from instinct rather than reason; there was a fencing between Rachel and the curate that made her uncomfortable, and led her to break it off by any means in her power; and though Mr. Touchett was not much at his ease with the little boy, this discussion was staged off. But again Mr. Touchett made bold to say that in case Lady Temple wished for a daily governess, he knew of a very desirable young person, a most admirable pair of sisters, who had met with great reverses, but Rachel snapped him off shorter than ever. “We can decide nothing yet; I have made up my mind to teach the little boys at present.”
“Come here, Hubert,” Fanny called to a boy she spotted at a distance, “come and shake hands with Mr. Touchett.” It was more instinct than thought; there was an awkwardness between Rachel and the curate that made her uneasy, prompting her to interrupt the situation in any way she could. Even though Mr. Touchett wasn’t very comfortable with the little boy, this discussion was put on hold. But once again, Mr. Touchett took the initiative to mention that if Lady Temple wanted a daily governess, he knew of a great young woman, a wonderful pair of sisters who had faced significant hardships. However, Rachel cut him off even more abruptly. “We can’t decide anything yet; I’ve decided to teach the little boys for now.”
“Oh, indeed!”
“Oh, for sure!”
“It is very kind,” said the perplexed Lady Temple.
“It’s very kind,” said the confused Lady Temple.
“I beg your pardon, I only thought, in case you were wishing for some one, that Miss Williams will be at liberty shortly.”
“I’m sorry, I just thought that if you were looking for someone, Miss Williams will be available soon.”
“I do not imagine Miss Williams is the person to deal with little boys,” said Rachel. “In fact, I think that home teaching is always better than hired.”
“I don’t think Miss Williams is the right person to handle little boys,” said Rachel. “Actually, I believe that home teaching is always better than hiring someone.”
“I am so much obliged,” said Fanny, as Mr. Touchett, after this defeat, rose up to take leave, and she held out her hand, smiled, thanked, and sent him away so much sweetened and gratified, that Rachel would have instantly begun dissecting him, but that a whole rush of boys broke in, and again engrossed their mother, and in the next lull, the uppermost necessity was of explaining about the servants who had been hired for the time, one of whom was a young woman whose health had given way over her lace pillow, and Rachel was eloquent over the crying evils of the system (everything was a system with Rachel) that chained girls to an unhealthy occupation in their early childhood, and made an overstocked market and underpaid workers—holding Fanny fast to listen by a sort of fascination in her overpowering earnestness, and great fixed eyes, which, when once their grasp was taken, would not release the victim; and this was a matter of daily occurrence on which Rachel felt keenly and spoke strongly.
“I’m really grateful,” Fanny said as Mr. Touchett, after his defeat, stood up to leave. She extended her hand, smiled, thanked him, and sent him off feeling so uplifted and pleased that Rachel would have immediately started analyzing him, but then a bunch of boys burst in, diverting their mother’s attention. In the next quiet moment, the main topic was explaining the servants who had been hired temporarily, including a young woman whose health had declined while working on her lace pillow. Rachel passionately discussed the terrible issues of the system (everything was a system to Rachel) that bound girls to unhealthy jobs in their early years, creating an oversaturated job market and underpaid workers—keeping Fanny engaged with her compelling intensity and wide, fixed gaze, which, once locked on, wouldn’t let go of her audience. This was a regular occurrence that Rachel felt strongly about and spoke passionately on.
“It is very sad. If you want to help the poor things, I will give anything I can.”
“It’s really sad. If you want to help those poor things, I’ll give whatever I can.”
“Oh, yes, thank you, but it is doleful merely to help them to linger out the remnant of a life consumed upon these cobwebs of vanity. It is the fountainhead that must be reached—the root of the system!”
“Oh, yes, thank you, but it's sad just to help them drag out the last bit of a life wasted on these webs of vanity. We need to get to the source—the root of the problem!”
Fanny saw, or rather felt, a boy making signs at the window, but durst not withdraw her eyes from the fascination of those eager ones. “Lace and lacemakers are facts,” continued Rachel; “but if the middle men were exploded, and the excess of workers drafted off by some wholesome outlet, the price would rise, so that the remainder would be at leisure to fulfil the domestic offices of womanhood.”
Fanny saw, or rather felt, a boy gesturing at the window, but she didn’t dare look away from the allure of those eager eyes. “Lace and lacemakers are real,” Rachel continued. “But if the middlemen were removed, and some of the extra workers were redirected to more productive jobs, the price would go up, allowing those remaining to take care of the household duties of womanhood.”
There was a great uproar above.
There was a loud commotion above.
“I beg your pardon, dear Rachel,” and away went Fanny.
“I’m sorry, dear Rachel,” and off went Fanny.
“I do declare,” cried Rachel, when Grace, having despatched her home-cares, entered the room a quarter of an hour after; “poor Fanny’s a perfect slave. One can’t get in a word edgeways.”
“I swear,” exclaimed Rachel, when Grace, having taken care of her home duties, walked into the room a quarter of an hour later; “poor Fanny’s a total slave. You can’t get a word in edgewise.”
Fanny at last returned, but with her baby; and there was no chance for even Rachel to assert herself while this small queen was in presence. Grace was devoted to infants, and there was a whole court of brothers vying with one another in picking up her constantly dropped toys, and in performing antics for her amusement. Rachel, desirous to be gracious and resigned, attempted conversation with one of the eldest pair, but the baby had but to look towards him, and he was at her feet.
Fanny finally came back, but she had her baby with her; and there was no opportunity for even Rachel to make her presence felt while this little queen was around. Grace was all about babies, and there was a whole group of brothers competing to pick up her toys that she kept dropping and doing silly things to entertain her. Rachel, wanting to be kind and accepting, tried to talk to one of the older boys, but all the baby had to do was glance at him, and he was right at her feet.
On her departure, Rachel resumed the needful details of the arrangements respecting the house and servants, and found Lady Temple as grateful and submissive as ever, except that, when advised to take Myrtlewood for a term of seven years, she replied, that the Major had advised her not to bind herself down at once.
On her way out, Rachel went over the necessary details about the house and staff again and found Lady Temple as grateful and compliant as always. However, when Rachel suggested taking Myrtlewood for seven years, Lady Temple responded that the Major had advised her not to commit to anything just yet.
“Did you let him think we should quarrel?”
“Did you make him think we should argue?”
“Oh, no, my dear; but it might not agree with the children.”
“Oh, no, my dear; but it might not be good for the kids.”
“Avonmouth! Grace, do you hear what heresy Fanny has been learning? Why, the proportion of ozone in the air here has been calculated to be five times that of even Aveton!”
“Avonmouth! Grace, did you hear the nonsense Fanny has been studying? Well, the amount of ozone in the air here has been figured out to be five times that of even Aveton!”
“Yes, dearest,” said poor Fanny, very humbly, and rather scared, “there is no place like Avonmouth, and I am sure the Major will think so when he has seen it.”
“Yes, my love,” said poor Fanny, very humbly and a bit scared, “there's no place like Avonmouth, and I’m sure the Major will feel the same once he sees it.”
“But what has he to do with your movements?”
“But what does he have to do with your actions?”
“Sir Stephen wished—” murmured Fanny.
"Sir Stephen wanted—" murmured Fanny.
“The Major is military secretary, and always settles our head-quarters, and no one interferes with him,” shouted Conrade.
“The Major is the military secretary and always decides our headquarters, and no one messes with him,” shouted Conrade.
Rachel, suspicious and jealous of her rival, was obliged to let Fanny pass on to the next item, where her eager acceptance of all that was prescribed to her was evidently meant as compensation for her refractoriness about the house.
Rachel, suspicious and jealous of her rival, had to let Fanny move on to the next item, where her enthusiastic acceptance of everything that was asked of her clearly served as a way to make up for her earlier defiance about the house.
Grace had meanwhile applied herself to keeping off the boys, and was making some progress in their good graces, and in distinguishing between their sallow faces, dark eyes, and crisp, black heads. Conrade was individualized, not only by superior height, but by soldierly bearing, bright pride glancing in his eyes, his quick gestures, bold, decided words, and imperious tone towards all, save his mother—and whatever he was doing, his keen, black eye was always turning in search of her, he was ever ready to spring to her side to wait on her, to maintain her cause in rough championship, or to claim her attention to himself. Francis was thick-set, round-shouldered, bullet-headed and dull-eyed, in comparison, not aggressive, but holding his own, and not very approachable; Leoline, thin, white-cheeked, large-eyed and fretful-lipped, was ready to whine at Conrade’s tyranny and Francis’s appropriations, but was grateful for Grace’s protection, and more easy of access than his elders; and Hubert was a handsome, placid child, the good boy, as well as the beauty of the family. The pair in the nursery hardly came on the stage, and the two elders would be quite sufficient for Mrs. Curtis, with whom the afternoon was to be spent.
Grace had been focused on keeping the boys at bay and was making some headway in winning their favor, learning to tell apart their pale faces, dark eyes, and curly black hair. Conrade stood out not just for his taller stature but also for his soldierly demeanor, the bright pride shining in his eyes, his quick gestures, bold and decisive words, and commanding tone towards everyone except his mother. No matter what he was doing, his sharp black eye was always scanning for her, ready to rush to her side to assist her, defend her fiercely, or draw her attention to himself. Francis, in contrast, was stocky, round-shouldered, with a flat head and dull eyes. He wasn’t aggressive but managed to hold his own and wasn’t very easy to approach. Leoline, who was thin, pale-cheeked, large-eyed, and often pouting, was quick to complain about Conrade’s bullying and Francis’s behavior but appreciated Grace’s protection and was more approachable than the older boys. Hubert was a handsome, calm child, both the good boy and the charm of the family. The younger pair in the nursery hardly made an appearance, and the two older boys would be more than enough for Mrs. Curtis, with whom they would spend the afternoon.
The mother, evidently, considered it a very long absence, but she was anxious to see both her aunt and her own home, and set out, leaning on Rachel’s arm, and smiling pleased though sad recognition of the esplanade, the pebbly beach, bathing machines and fishing boats, and pointing them out to her sons, who, on their side, would only talk of the much greater extent of Melbourne.
The mother clearly thought it had been a long time away, but she was eager to see both her aunt and her home again. She set off, leaning on Rachel’s arm, smiling with a mix of happiness and sadness as she recognized the esplanade, the pebbly beach, the bathing machines, and the fishing boats, pointing them out to her sons, who, for their part, only wanted to talk about the much larger Melbourne.
Within the gates of the Homestead, there was a steep, sharp bit of road, cut out in the red sandstone rock, and after a few paces she paused to rest with a sigh that brought Conrade to her side, when she put her arm round his neck, and leant on his shoulder; but even her two supporters could not prevent her from looking pale and exhausted.
Within the gates of the Homestead, there was a steep, narrow stretch of road, carved into the red sandstone rock. After a few steps, she stopped to catch her breath with a sigh that called Conrade to her side. She wrapped her arm around his neck and leaned on his shoulder, but even her two supporters couldn’t stop her from looking pale and worn out.
“Never mind,” she said, “this salt wind is delightful. How like old times it is!” and she stood gazing across the little steep lawn at the grey sea, the line of houses following the curve of the bay, and straggling up the valley in the rear, and the purple headlands projecting point beyond point, showing them to her boys, and telling their names.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said, “this salty breeze is wonderful. It’s just like the old days!” and she stood looking out over the small, steep lawn at the gray sea, the row of houses along the curve of the bay, stretching up the valley behind, and the purple headlands jutting out one after another, pointing them out to her boys and naming them.
“It is all ugly and cold,” said Francis, with an ungracious shiver. “I shall go home to Melbourne when I’m a man.”
“It’s all ugly and cold,” Francis said, shivering ungraciously. “I’m going to go home to Melbourne when I’m a man.”
“And you will come, mamma?” added Conrade.
“And you’ll come, Mom?” Conrade added.
He had no answer, for Fanny was in her aunt’s arms; and, like mother and daughter, they clung to each other—more able to sympathize, more truly one together, than the young widow could be with either of the girls.
He had no answer, because Fanny was in her aunt’s arms; and, like mother and daughter, they held on to each other—better able to understand each other, more truly united, than the young widow could be with either of the girls.
As soon as Fanny had rested and enjoyed the home atmosphere downstairs, she begged to visit the dear old rooms, and carried Conrade through a course of recognitions through the scarcely altered apartments. Only one had been much changed, namely, the schoolroom, which had been stripped of the kindly old shabby furniture that Fanny tenderly recollected, and was decidedly bare; but a mahogany box stood on a stand on one side; there was a great accession of books, and writing implements occupied the plain deal table in the centre.
As soon as Fanny had rested and enjoyed the cozy atmosphere downstairs, she asked to visit the beloved old rooms and took Conrade on a tour, recognizing items in the barely changed spaces. Only one room had significantly changed: the schoolroom, which had been cleared of the familiar old, worn furniture that Fanny fondly remembered and now felt quite empty. However, a mahogany box sat on a stand on one side, there was an abundance of books, and writing supplies filled the simple wooden table in the center.
“What have you done to the dear old room—do you not use it still?” asked Fanny.
“What have you done to the old room—don’t you still use it?” asked Fanny.
“Yes, I work here,” said Rachel.
“Yes, I work here,” Rachel said.
Vainly did Lady Temple look for that which women call work.
Vainly did Lady Temple look for what women call work.
“I have hitherto ground on at after-education and self-improvement,” said Rachel; “now I trust to make my preparation available for others. I will undertake any of your boys if you wish it.”
“I have been focused on continuing my education and self-improvement,” said Rachel; “now I hope to make my preparation useful for others. I’m willing to take on any of your boys if you’d like.”
“Thank you; but what is that box?”—in obedience to a curious push and pull from Conrade.
“Thank you; but what’s in that box?”—responding to a curious nudge from Conrade.
“It is her dispensary,” said Grace.
“It’s her shop,” said Grace.
“Yes,” said Rachel, “you are weak and nervous, and I have just the thing for you.”
“Yes,” said Rachel, “you’re weak and anxious, and I’ve got just what you need.”
“Is it homoeopathy?”
"Is it homeopathy?"
“Yes, here is my book. I have done great things in my district, and should do more but for prejudice. There, this globule is the very thing for your case; I made it out last night in my book. That is right, and I wanted to ask you some questions about little Wilfred.”
“Yes, here is my book. I’ve accomplished a lot in my district, and I should be doing even more if it weren’t for prejudice. Look, this globule is exactly what you need for your case; I figured it out last night in my book. That’s right, and I wanted to ask you a few questions about little Wilfred.”
Fanny had obediently swallowed her own globule, but little Wilfred was a different matter, and she retreated from the large eyes and open book, saying that he was better, and that Mr. Frampton should look at him; but Rachel was not to be eluded, and was in full career of elucidation to the meanest capacity, when a sharp skirmish between the boys ended the conversation, and it appeared that Conrade had caught Francis just commencing an onslaught on the globules, taking them for English sweetmeats of a minute description.
Fanny had obediently swallowed her own globule, but little Wilfred was a different story, and she pulled away from the big eyes and open book, insisting that he was fine and that Mr. Frampton should check on him; but Rachel wasn't about to be sidetracked and was fully engaged in explaining things in simple terms when a sudden fight between the boys interrupted the conversation, and it turned out that Conrade had caught Francis just as he was about to launch an attack on the globules, mistaking them for tiny English candies.
The afternoon passed with the strange heaviness well known to those who find it hard to resume broken threads after long parting. There was much affection, but not full certainty what to talk about, and the presence of the boys would have hindered confidence, even had they not incessantly occupied their mother. Conrade, indeed, betook himself to a book, but Francis was only kept out of mischief by his constantly turning over pictures with him; however, at dark, Coombe came to convey them home, and the ladies of the Homestead experienced a sense of relief. Rachel immediately began to talk of an excellent preparatory school.
The afternoon dragged on with that weird heaviness familiar to anyone who struggles to pick up the pieces after a long time apart. There was plenty of affection, but no clear idea of what to talk about, and the presence of the boys would have stifled any intimacy, even if they hadn't been constantly demanding their mother's attention. Conrade, in fact, found solace in a book, but Francis only avoided getting into trouble because he kept flipping through pictures with him. As night fell, Coombe arrived to take them home, and the ladies of the Homestead felt a wave of relief. Rachel quickly started discussing a great preparatory school.
“I was thinking of asking you,” said Fanny, “if there is any one here who would come as a daily governess.”
“I was thinking of asking you,” Fanny said, “if there’s anyone here who would come as a daily governess.”
“Oh!” cried Rachel, “these two would be much better at school, and I would form the little ones, who are still manageable.”
“Oh!” Rachel exclaimed, “these two would do much better in school, and I could take care of the little ones, who are still easy to handle.”
“Conrade is not eight years old yet,” said his mother in an imploring tone, “and the Major said I need not part with him till he has grown a little more used to English ways.”
“Conrade isn't even eight years old yet,” his mother said, her voice pleading, “and the Major said I shouldn’t have to part with him until he’s a bit more accustomed to English ways.”
“He can read, I see,” said Grace, “and he told me he had done some Latin with the Major.”
“He can read, I see,” Grace said, “and he told me he had studied some Latin with the Major.”
“Yes, he has picked up a vast deal of information, and on the voyage the Major used to teach him out of a little pocket Virgil. The Major said it would not be of much use at school, as there was no dictionary; but that the discipline and occupation would be useful, and so they were. Conrade, will do anything for the Major, and indeed so will they all.”
“Yes, he has learned a lot, and during the voyage, the Major used to teach him from a small pocket version of Virgil. The Major said it wouldn't be very useful in school since there was no dictionary, but that the discipline and engagement would be beneficial, and they were. Conrade will do anything for the Major, and honestly, so will everyone else.”
Three Majors in one speech, thought Rachel; and by way of counteraction she enunciated, “I could undertake the next pair of boys easily, but these two are evidently wanting school discipline.”
Three Majors in one speech, Rachel thought; and to counteract that, she said, “I could easily handle the next pair of boys, but these two clearly need some school discipline.”
Lady Temple feathered up like a mother dove over her nest.
Lady Temple fluffed up like a mother dove protecting her nest.
“You do not know Conrade. He is so trustworthy and affectionate, dear boy, and they are both always good with me. The Major said it often hurts boys to send them too young.”
“You don't know Conrade. He's really dependable and caring, dear boy, and they are both always great with me. The Major mentioned that it can be harmful for boys to be sent away when they're too young.”
“They are very young, poor little fellows,” said Mrs. Curtis.
“They're really young, poor little guys,” said Mrs. Curtis.
“And if they are forward in some things they are backward in others,” said Fanny. “What Major Keith recommended was a governess, who would know what is generally expected of little boys.”
“And if they are confident in some areas, they are lacking in others,” said Fanny. “What Major Keith suggested was a governess who would understand what is typically expected of little boys.”
“I don’t like half measures,” muttered Rachel. “I do not approve of encouraging young women to crowd the overstocked profession of governesses.”
“I don’t like half measures,” Rachel muttered. “I don’t support pushing young women into the oversaturated field of governesses.”
Fanny opened her brown eyes, and awaited the words of wisdom.
Fanny opened her brown eyes and waited for the words of wisdom.
“Is it not a flagrant abuse,” continued Rachel, “that whether she have a vocation or not, every woman of a certain rank, who wishes to gain her own livelihood, must needs become a governess? A nursery maid must have a vocation, but an educated or half-educated woman has no choice; and educator she must become, to her own detriment, and that of her victims.”
“Isn’t it a blatant injustice,” Rachel continued, “that no matter if she has a calling or not, every woman of a certain class who wants to support herself has to become a governess? A nursery maid needs to have a vocation, but an educated or semi-educated woman has no choice; she must turn into an educator, even if it harms her and those she teaches.”
“I always did think governesses often much to be pitied,” said Fanny, finding something was expected of her.
“I always thought governesses were really something to be pitied,” Fanny said, realizing something was expected of her.
“What’s the use of pity if one runs on in the old groove? We must prevent the market from being drugged, by diverting the supply into new lines.”
“What’s the point of pity if you keep doing the same old thing? We need to stop the market from stagnating by shifting the supply into new areas.”
“Are there any new lines?” asked Fanny, surprised at the progress of society in her absence.
“Are there any new lines?” Fanny asked, surprised by how much society had changed while she was away.
“Homoeopathic doctresses,” whispered Grace; who, dutiful as she was, sometimes indulged in a little fun, which Rachel would affably receive unless she took it in earnest, as in the present instance.
“Homeopathic doctors,” whispered Grace; who, as dutiful as she was, sometimes enjoyed a bit of fun, which Rachel would kindly accept unless she took it seriously, as in this case.
“Why not—I ask why not? Some women have broken through prejudice, and why should not others? Do you not agree with me, Fanny, that female medical men—I mean medical women—would be an infinite boon?”
“Why not—I’m asking why not? Some women have overcome prejudice, so why can’t others? Don’t you agree with me, Fanny, that female medical professionals—I mean female doctors—would be an incredible blessing?”
“It would be very nice if they would never be nervous.”
“It would be great if they were never nervous.”
“Nerves are merely a matter of training. Think of the numbers that might be removed from the responsibility of incompetently educating! I declare that to tempt a person into the office of governess, instead of opening a new field to her, is the most short-sighted indolence.”
“Nerves are just something you can train. Imagine how many people could be freed from the burden of poorly educating others! I say that encouraging someone to become a governess, rather than giving her a new opportunity, is the most shortsighted laziness.”
“I don’t want to tempt any one,” said Fanny. “She ought to have been out before and be experienced, only she most be kind to the poor boys. I wanted the Major to inquire in London, but he said perhaps I might hear of some one here.”
“I don’t want to lead anyone on,” Fanny said. “She should have been out before and have some experience, but she really needs to be nice to the poor boys. I wanted the Major to ask around in London, but he said maybe I could find someone here.”
“That was right, my dear,” returned her aunt. “A gentleman, an officer, could not do much in such a matter.”
“That’s true, my dear,” her aunt replied. “A gentleman, an officer, wouldn’t be able to do much in a situation like that.”
“He always does manage whatever one wants.”
“He always manages to do whatever anyone wants.”
At which speech Rachel cast a glance towards her mother, and saw her look questioning and perplexed.
At that moment, Rachel glanced at her mother and saw her looking confused and questioning.
“I was thinking,” said Grace, “that I believe the people at the Cliff Cottages are going away, and that Miss Williams might be at liberty.”
“I was thinking,” said Grace, “that I believe the people at the Cliff Cottages are leaving, and that Miss Williams might be available.”
“Didn’t I know that Grace would come out with Miss Williams?” exclaimed Rachel. “A regular eruption of the Touchettomania. We have had him already advertising her.”
“Didn’t I know that Grace would go out with Miss Williams?” exclaimed Rachel. “A complete outbreak of Touchettomania. We’ve already had him promoting her.”
“Miss Williams!” said Mrs. Curtis. “Yes, she might suit you very well. I believe they are very respectable young women, poor things! I have always wished that we could do more for them.”
“Miss Williams!” said Mrs. Curtis. “Yes, she might be a great match for you. I believe they are very respectable young women, poor things! I have always wished that we could do more to help them.”
“Who?” asked Fanny.
"Who?" Fanny asked.
“Certain pets of Mr. Touchett’s,” said Rachel; “some of the numerous ladies whose mission is that curatolatry into which Grace would lapse but for my strenuous efforts.”
“Some of Mr. Touchett’s pets,” said Rachel; “a few of the many ladies whose mission is that obsession with curation into which Grace would fall without my strong efforts.”
“I don’t quite know why you call them his pets,” said Grace, “except that he knew their antecedents, and told us about them.”
“I don’t really know why you call them his pets,” Grace said, “except that he knew their backgrounds and told us about them.”
“Exactly, that was enough, for me. I perfectly understand the meaning of Mr. Touchett’s recommendations, and if what Fanny wants is a commonplace sort of upper nursemaid, I dare say it would do.” And Rachel leant back, applied herself to her wood carving, and virtually retired from the discussion.
“Exactly, that was enough for me. I completely understand what Mr. Touchett means, and if Fanny is looking for a typical upper-class nursemaid, I suppose that would work.” And Rachel leaned back, focused on her wood carving, and effectively withdrew from the conversation.
“One sister is a great invalid,” said Grace, “quite a cripple, and the other goes out as a daily governess. They are a clergyman’s daughters, and once were very well off, but they lost everything through some speculation of their brother. I believe he fled the country under some terrible suspicion of dishonesty; and though no one thought they had anything to do with it, their friends dropped them because they would not give him up, nor believe him guilty, and a little girl of his lives with them.”
“One sister is really unwell,” said Grace, “totally disabled, and the other works as a daily governess. They are the daughters of a clergyman and used to be quite well off, but they lost everything because of some risky investment their brother made. I think he left the country under some serious accusations of dishonesty; and although no one thought they were involved, their friends abandoned them because they wouldn’t abandon him or believe he was guilty, and a little girl of his lives with them.”
“Poor things!” exclaimed Lady Temple. “I should very much like to employ this one. How very sad.”
“Poor things!” Lady Temple exclaimed. “I would really like to hire this one. How sad.”
“Mrs. Grey told me that her children had never done so well with any one,” said Mrs. Curtis. “She wanted to engage Miss Williams permanently, but could not induce her to leave her sister, or even to remove her to London, on account of her health.”
“Mrs. Grey told me that her kids had never done so well with anyone,” said Mrs. Curtis. “She wanted to hire Miss Williams permanently, but she couldn't convince her to leave her sister or even move her to London because of her health.”
“Do you know her, Grace?” asked Fanny.
“Do you know her, Grace?” Fanny asked.
“I have called once or twice, and have been very much pleased with the sick sister; but Rachel does not fancy that set, you see. I meet the other at the Sunday school, I like her looks and manner very much, and she is always at the early service before her work.”
“I’ve called once or twice and have really liked the sick sister, but Rachel isn’t into that group, you know. I see the other one at Sunday school; I really like her looks and personality, and she always goes to the early service before her work.”
“Just like a little mauve book!” muttered Rachel.
“Just like a little purple book!” muttered Rachel.
Fanny absolutely stared. “You go, don’t you, Rachel? How we used to wish for it!”
Fanny just stared. “You’re going, aren’t you, Rachel? We used to wish for this!”
“You have wished and we have tried,” said Rachel, with a sigh.
“You wished for it, and we did our best,” Rachel said, sighing.
“Yes, Rachel,” said Grace; “but with all drawbacks, all disappointments in ourselves, it is a great blessing. We would not be without it.”
“Yes, Rachel,” said Grace; “but despite all the drawbacks and disappointments in ourselves, it’s a great blessing. We wouldn’t want to be without it.”
“I could not be satisfied in relinquishing it voluntarily,” said Rachel, “but I am necessarily one of the idle. Were I one of the occupied, laborare est orare would satisfy me, and that poor governess ought to feel the same. Think of the physical reaction of body on mind, and tell me if you could have the barbarity of depriving that poor jaded thing of an hour’s sleep, giving her an additional walk, fasting, in all weathers, and preparing her to be savage with the children.”
“I couldn't be content giving it up willingly,” said Rachel, “but I'm unfortunately one of the idle. If I were one of the busy, working hard would feel like praying to me, and that poor governess should feel the same. Consider how the body affects the mind, and tell me how you could be so cruel as to deprive that poor exhausted woman of an hour’s sleep, make her take an extra walk, fast, regardless of the weather, and get her ready to be irritable with the kids.”
“Perhaps it refreshes her, and hinders her from being cross.”
“Maybe it refreshes her and keeps her from being annoyed.”
“Maybe she thinks so; but if she have either sense or ear, nothing would so predispose her to be cross as the squeaking of Mr. Touchett’s penny-whistle choir.”
“Maybe she thinks so; but if she has any sense or good hearing, nothing would make her more irritable than the squeaking of Mr. Touchett’s penny-whistle choir.”
“Poor Mr. Touchett,” sighed Mrs. Curtis; “I wish he would not make such ambitious attempts.”
“Poor Mr. Touchett,” sighed Mrs. Curtis; “I wish he wouldn't try so hard to achieve big things.”
“But you like the choral service,” said Fanny, feeling as if everything had turned round. “When all the men of a regiment chant together you cannot think how grand it is, almost finer than the cathedral.”
“But you enjoy the choral service,” Fanny said, feeling like everything had flipped around. “When all the men in a regiment sing together, you can't imagine how amazing it is, almost better than the cathedral.”
“Yes, where you can do it,” said Rachel, “but not where you can’t.”
“Yes, where you can do it,” Rachel said, “but not where you can’t.”
“I wish you would not talk about it,” said Grace.
“I wish you wouldn’t talk about it,” Grace said.
“I must, or Fanny will not understand the state of parties at Avonmouth.”
“I have to, or Fanny won't get what’s going on between the parties at Avonmouth.”
“Parties! Oh, I hope not.”
"Parties! Oh, I really hope not."
“My dear child, party spirit is another word for vitality. So you thought the church we sighed for had made the place all we sighed to see it, and ourselves too. Oh! Fanny is this what you have been across the world for?”
"My dear child, party spirit is just another way of saying vitality. So you believed the church we longed for had transformed the place into everything we hoped to see, including ourselves. Oh! Fanny, is this what you've traveled across the world to find?"
“What is wrong?” asked Fanny, alarmed.
"What's wrong?" Fanny asked, concerned.
“Do you remember our axiom? Build your church, and the rest will take care of itself. You remember our scraping and begging, and how that good Mr. Davison helped us out and brought the endowment up to the needful point for consecration, on condition the incumbency was given to him. He held it just a year, and was rich, and could help out his bad health with a curate. But first he went to Madeira, and then he died, and there we are, a perpetual curacy of £70 a year, no resident gentry but ourselves, a fluctuating population mostly sick, our poor demoralized by them, and either crazed by dissent, or heathenized by their former distance from church. Who would take us? No more Mr. Davisons! There was no more novelty, and too much smartness to invite self-devotion. So we were driven from pillar to post till we settled down into this Mr. Touchett, as good a being as ever lived, working as hard as any two, and sparing neither himself nor any one else.”
“Do you remember our saying? Build your church, and the rest will sort itself out. You remember how we were scraping and begging, and how that good Mr. Davison helped us out and got the endowment up to the needed level for consecration, on the condition that he would be in charge. He held it for just a year, and he was wealthy enough to ease his poor health with a curate. But first he went to Madeira, and then he passed away, and here we are, stuck with a perpetual curacy of £70 a year, no local gentry except for us, a changing population that’s mostly sick, our poor people demoralized by them, and either driven mad by dissent or turned into heathens by their previous lack of connection to the church. Who would want to take us on? No more Mr. Davisons! There was no more novelty, and too much cleverness to encourage self-sacrifice. So we were tossed around until we settled with this Mr. Touchett, as good a person as ever lived, working as hard as two people, and not sparing himself or anyone else.”
Fanny looked up prepared to admire.
Fanny looked up, ready to admire.
“But he has two misfortunes. He was not born a gentleman, and his mind does not measure an inch across.”
“But he has two problems. He wasn't born into a wealthy family, and his thinking is incredibly limited.”
“Rachel, my dear, it is not fair to prejudice Fanny; I am sure the poor man is very well-behaved.”
“Rachel, my dear, it’s not fair to judge Fanny; I’m sure the poor man is very well-behaved.”
“Mother! would you be calling the ideal Anglican priest, poor man?”
“Mom! Are you calling the ideal Anglican priest, poor guy?”
“I thought he was quite gentlemanlike,” added Fanny.
“I thought he was really gentlemanly,” added Fanny.
“Gentlemanlike! ay, that’s it,” said Rachel, “just so like as to delight the born curatolatress, like Grace and Miss Williams.”
“Gentleman-like! Yeah, that’s it,” said Rachel, “just like to please the natural curatolatress, like Grace and Miss Williams.”
“Would it hurt the children?” asked Fanny, hardly comprehending the tremendous term.
“Would it hurt the kids?” asked Fanny, barely understanding the huge term.
“Yes, if it infected you,” said Rachel, intending some playfullness. “A mother of contracted mind forfeits the allegiance of her sons.”
“Yes, if it got to you,” Rachel said, trying to be playful. “A mother with a narrow mindset loses the loyalty of her sons.”
“Oh, Rachel, I know I am weak and silly,” said the gentle young widow, terrified, “but the Major said if I only tried to do my duty by them I should be helped.”
“Oh, Rachel, I know I'm weak and foolish,” said the gentle young widow, terrified, “but the Major said if I just tried to do my duty by them, I would be supported.”
“And I will help you, Fanny,” said Rachel. “All that is requisite is good sense and firmness, and a thorough sense of responsibility.”
“And I will help you, Fanny,” said Rachel. “All you need is good sense, determination, and a strong sense of responsibility.”
“That is what is so dreadful. The responsibility of all those dear fatherless boys, and if—if I should do wrong by them.”
“That’s what’s so terrible. The burden of all those dear fatherless boys, and if—if I should let them down.”
Poor Fanny fell into an uncontrollable fit of weeping at the sense of her own desolation and helplessness, and Mrs. Curtis came to comfort her, and tell her affectionately of having gone through the like feelings, and of the repeated but most comfortable words of promise to the fatherless and the widow—words that had constantly come before the sufferer, but which had by no means lost their virtue by repetition, and Fanny was soothed with hearing instances of the special Providence over orphaned sons, and their love and deference for their mother. Rachel, shocked and distressed at the effect of her sense, retired out of the conversation, till at the announcement of the carriage for Lady Temple, her gentle cousin cheered up, and feeling herself to blame for having grieved one who only meant aid and kindness, came to her and fondly kissed her forehead, saying, “I am not vexed, dear Rachel, I know you are right. I am not clever enough to bring them up properly, but if I try hard, and pray for them, it may be made up to them. And you will help me, Rachel dear,” she added, as her readiest woe-offering for her tears, and it was the most effectual, for Rachel was perfectly contented as long as Fanny was dependent on her, and allowed her to assume her mission, provided only that the counter influence could be averted, and this Major, this universal referee, be eradicated from her foolish clinging habits of reliance before her spirits were enough recovered to lay her heart open to danger.
Poor Fanny fell into an uncontrollable fit of crying, overwhelmed by her own loneliness and helplessness. Mrs. Curtis came to comfort her, sharing that she had gone through similar feelings and gently reminding her of the comforting promises made to the fatherless and the widowed—words that had often been shared with the sufferer but still retained their power. Fanny found solace in hearing stories about the special care given to orphaned sons and their love and respect for their mothers. Rachel, feeling shocked and distressed by the impact of her own feelings, withdrew from the conversation. However, when the carriage for Lady Temple was announced, her gentle cousin brightened up. Realizing she felt guilty for upsetting someone who only wanted to help, she went to Fanny and affectionately kissed her forehead, saying, “I’m not upset, dear Rachel, I know you’re right. I’m not smart enough to raise them properly, but if I try hard and pray for them, it can make a difference. And you will help me, Rachel dear,” she added, as her way of making amends for her tears. This was effective, as Rachel was completely happy as long as Fanny relied on her and let her take charge of her mission, as long as the negative influence was kept away and this Major, this universal judge, could be removed from her foolish habits of dependence before her spirits were strong enough to expose her heart to risk.
But the more Rachel saw of her cousin, the more she realized this peril. When she went down on Monday morning to complete the matters of business that had been slurred over on the Saturday, she found that Fanny had not the slightest notion what her own income was to be. All she knew was that her General had left everything unreservedly to herself, except £100 and one of his swords to Major Keith, who was executor to the will, and had gone to London to “see about it,” by which word poor Fanny expressed all the business that her maintenance depended on. If an old general wished to put a major in temptation, could he have found a better means of doing so? Rachel even thought that Fanny’s incapacity to understand business had made her mistake the terms of the bequest, and that Sir Stephen must have secured his property to his children; but Fanny was absolutely certain that this was not the case, for she said the Major had made her at once sign a will dividing the property among them, and appointing himself and her Aunt Curtis their guardians. “I did not like putting such a charge on my dear aunt,” said Fanny, “but the Major said I ought to appoint a relation, and I had no one else! And I knew you would all be good to them, if they had lost me too, when baby was born.”
But the more Rachel saw of her cousin, the more she realized this danger. When she went down on Monday morning to wrap up the business matters that had been brushed off on Saturday, she discovered that Fanny had no idea what her own income would be. All she knew was that her General had left everything to her, except for £100 and one of his swords to Major Keith, who was the executor of the will and had gone to London to “take care of it,” which was Fanny’s way of referring to all the business on which her support depended. If an old general wanted to tempt a major, could he have found a better way to do it? Rachel even thought that Fanny’s inability to understand business had led her to misinterpret the terms of the inheritance, and that Sir Stephen must have secured his property for his children; but Fanny was completely convinced that wasn’t the case, because she said the Major had made her sign a will that divided the property among them and appointed himself and her Aunt Curtis as their guardians. “I didn’t like putting such a responsibility on my dear aunt,” said Fanny, “but the Major said I should appoint a relative, and I had no one else! And I knew you would all take good care of them if they lost me too, when the baby was born.”
“We would have tried,” said Rachel, a little humbly, “but oh! I am glad you are here, Fanny!”
“We would have tried,” said Rachel, a bit humbly, “but oh! I’m so glad you’re here, Fanny!”
Nothing could of course be fixed till the Major had “seen about it.” After which he was to come to let Lady Temple know the result; but she believed he would first go to Scotland to see his brother. He and his brother were the only survivors of a large family, and he had been on foreign service for twelve years, so that it would be very selfish to wish him not to take full time at home. “Selfish,” thought Rachel; “if he will only stay away long enough, you shall learn, my dear, how well you can do without him!”
Nothing could be settled until the Major "looked into it." After that, he was supposed to come and tell Lady Temple the outcome; however, she believed he would first head to Scotland to visit his brother. He and his brother were the only remaining members of a large family, and he had been on foreign duty for twelve years, so it would be quite selfish to wish for him not to take proper time at home. "Selfish," thought Rachel; "if he just stays away long enough, you'll find out, my dear, how well you can manage without him!"
The boys had interrupted the conversation less than the previous one, because the lesser ones were asleep, or walking out, and the elder ones having learnt that a new week was to be begun steadily with lessons, thought it advisable to bring themselves as little into notice as possible; but fate was sure to pursue them sooner or later, for Rachel had come down resolved on testing their acquirements, and deciding on the method to be pursued with them; and though their mamma, with a curtain instinctive shrinking both for them and for herself, had put off the ordeal to the utmost by listening to all the counsel about her affairs, it was not to be averted.
The boys interrupted the conversation less than before because the younger ones were either asleep or walking out, and the older ones, knowing a new week of lessons was about to start, thought it best to stay under the radar. But fate was bound to catch up with them eventually, as Rachel had come down determined to test their knowledge and figure out how to handle them. Even though their mom, instinctively worried for both them and herself, had postponed the situation by focusing on all the advice regarding her own issues, she couldn't avoid it forever.
“Now, Fanny, since it seems that more cannot be done at present, let us see about the children’s education. Where are their books?”
“Now, Fanny, since it looks like we can't do any more for now, let's talk about the kids' education. Where are their books?”
“We have very few books,” said Fanny, hesitating; “we had not much choice where we were.”
“We don’t have many books,” Fanny said, hesitating; “we didn’t have much choice where we were.”
“You should have written to me for a selection.”
“You should have messaged me for a choice.”
“Why—so we would, but there was always a talk of sending Conrade and Francis home. I am afraid you will think them very backward, dear Rachel, especially Francie; but it is not their fault, dear children, and they are not used to strangers,” added Fanny, nervously.
“Why—of course we would, but there was always talk of sending Conrade and Francis home. I'm afraid you might think they're very behind, dear Rachel, especially Francie; but it's not their fault, dear kids, and they're just not used to strangers,” added Fanny, nervously.
“I do not mean to be a stranger,” said Rachel.
“I don’t mean to be a stranger,” Rachel said.
And while Fanny, in confusion, made loving protestations about not meaning that, Rachel stepped out upon the lawn, and in her clear voice called “Conrade, Francis!” No answer. She called “Conrade” again, and louder, then turned round with “where can they be—not gone down on the beach?”
And while Fanny, feeling embarrassed, made heartfelt objections about not intending that, Rachel stepped onto the lawn and called out clearly, “Conrade, Francis!” There was no response. She shouted “Conrade” again, louder this time, then turned around and said, “Where could they be—not down at the beach?”
“Oh, dear no, I trust not,” said the mother, flurried, and coming to the window with a call that seemed to Rachel’s ears like the roar of a sucking dove.
“Oh, no, I hope not,” said the mother, flustered, and coming to the window with a call that sounded to Rachel like the cooing of a dove.
But from behind the bushes forth came the two young gentlemen, their black garments considerably streaked with the green marks of laurel climbing.
But from behind the bushes came the two young men, their black clothes marked up with green streaks from climbing laurel.
“Oh, my dears, what figures you are! Go to Coombe and get yourselves brushed, and wash your hands, and then come down, and bring your lesson books.”
“Oh, my dear ones, what a sight you are! Go to Coombe, get yourselves cleaned up, wash your hands, and then come down, and bring your textbooks.”
Rachel prognosticated that these preparations would be made the occasion, of much waste of time; but she was answered, and with rather surprised eyes, that they had never been allowed to come into the drawing-room without looking like little gentlemen.
Rachel predicted that these preparations would lead to a lot of wasted time; however, she was met with surprised looks and told that they had never been allowed to enter the drawing-room without looking like little gentlemen.
“But you are not living in state here,” said Rachel; “I never could enter into the cult some people, mamma especially, pay to their drawing-room.”
“But you're not really living here,” Rachel said. “I could never get into the way some people, especially mom, worship their living rooms.”
“The Major used to be very particular about their not coming to sit down untidy,” said Fanny. “He said it was not good for anybody.”
“The Major was really strict about them not coming to sit down messy,” Fanny said. “He said it wasn’t good for anyone.”
Martinet! thought Rachel, nearly ready to advocate the boys making no toilette at any time; and the present was made to consume so much time that, urged by her, Fanny once more was obliged to summon her boys and their books.
Martinet! Rachel thought, almost ready to argue that the boys shouldn’t have to get ready at all; and the current situation took up so much time that, pushed by her, Fanny had to call her boys and their books once again.
It was not an extensive school library—a Latin grammar an extremely dilapidated spelling-book, and the fourth volume of Mrs. Marcet’s “Little Willie.” The other three—one was unaccounted for, but Cyril had torn up the second, and Francis had thrown the first overboard in a passion. Rachel looked in dismay. “I don’t know what can be done with these!” she said.
It wasn’t a big school library—a Latin grammar, a really worn-out spelling book, and the fourth volume of Mrs. Marcet’s “Little Willie.” The other three were missing; one was lost, but Cyril had ripped up the second, and Francis had tossed the first overboard in a fit of anger. Rachel looked on in dismay. “I don’t know what we can do with these!” she said.
“Oh, then we’ll have holidays till we have got books, mamma,” said Conrade, putting his hands on the sofa, and imitating a kicking horse.
“Oh, then we’ll have breaks until we get some books, Mom,” said Conrade, putting his hands on the sofa and pretending to be a kicking horse.
“It is very necessary to see what kind of books you ought to have,” returned Rachel. “How far have you gone in this?”
“It’s really important to know what kind of books you should have,” Rachel replied. “How far have you gotten with this?”
“I say, mamma,” reiterated Conrade, “we can’t do lessons without books.”
“I’m telling you, mom,” Conrade repeated, “we can’t do lessons without books.”
“Attend to what your Aunt Rachel says, my dear; she wants to find out what books you should have.”
“Listen to what your Aunt Rachel says, my dear; she wants to know which books you should have.”
“Yes, let me examine you.”
"Yes, let me check you."
Conrade came most inconveniently close to her; she pushed her chair back; he came after her. His mother uttered a remonstrating, “My dear!”
Conrade moved uncomfortably close to her; she pushed her chair back; he followed her. His mother said disapprovingly, “My dear!”
“I thought she wanted to examine me,” quoth Conrade. “When Dr. M’Vicar examines a thing, he puts it under a microscope.”
“I thought she wanted to check me out,” said Conrade. “When Dr. M’Vicar checks something, he puts it under a microscope.”
It was said gravely, and whether it were malice or simplicity, Rachel was perfectly unable to divine, but she thought anyway that Fanny had no business to laugh, and explaining the species of examination that she intended, she went to work. In her younger days she had worked much at schools, and was really an able and spirited teacher, liking the occupation; and laying hold of the first book in her way, she requested Conrade to read. He obeyed, but in such a detestable gabble that she looked up appealingly to Fanny, who suggested, “My dear, you can read better than that.” He read four lines, not badly, but then broke off, “Mamma, are not we to have ponies? Coombe heard of a pony this morning; it is to be seen at the ‘Jolly Mariner,’ and he will take us to look at it.”
It was said seriously, and whether it was out of spite or just ignorance, Rachel couldn’t tell, but she thought Fanny had no right to laugh. Explaining the type of test she planned to conduct, she got to work. In her younger days, she had spent a lot of time teaching at schools, and she was actually a capable and energetic teacher who enjoyed the work. Grabbing the first book she found, she asked Conrade to read. He complied, but in such an awful mumble that she looked to Fanny for help, who replied, “My dear, you can read better than that.” He read four lines fairly well, but then interrupted, “Mom, are we not getting ponies? Coombe heard about a pony this morning; it’s at the ‘Jolly Mariner,’ and he’ll take us to see it.”
“The ‘Jolly Mariner!’ It is a dreadful place, Fanny, you never will let them go there?”
“The ‘Jolly Mariner!’ It’s an awful place, Fanny, you’re never going to let them go there, right?”
“My dear, the Major will see about your ponies when he comes.”
“My dear, the Major will check on your ponies when he arrives.”
“We will send the coachman down to inquire,” added Rachel.
“We'll send the driver down to ask,” added Rachel.
“He is only a civilian, and the Major always chooses our horses,” said Conrade.
“He's just a civilian, and the Major always picks our horses,” said Conrade.
“And I am to have one too, mamma,” added Francis. “You know I have been out four times with the staff, and the Major said I could ride as well as Con!”
“And I’m getting one too, Mom,” Francis added. “You know I’ve been out four times with the staff, and the Major said I could ride just as well as Con!”
“Reading is what is wanted now, my dear, go on.”
“Reading is what we need now, my dear, continue.”
Five lines more; but Francis and his mother were whispering together, and of course Conrade stopped to listen. Rachel saw there was no hope but in getting him alone, and at his mother’s reluctant desire, he followed her to the dining-room; but there he turned dogged and indifferent, made a sort of feint of doing what he was told, but whether she tried him in arithmetic, Latin, or dictation, he made such ludicrous blunders as to leave her in perplexity whether they arose from ignorance or impertinence. His spelling was phonetic to the highest degree, and though he owned to having done sums, he would not, or did not answer the simplest question in mental arithmetic. “Five apples and eight apples, come, Conrade, what will they make?”
Five more lines; but Francis and his mom were whispering to each other, so Conrade paused to listen. Rachel realized her only chance was to get him alone, and at his mom's hesitant request, he followed her to the dining room. However, there he became stubborn and indifferent, pretending to follow instructions, but whether she tested him in math, Latin, or dictation, he made such ridiculous mistakes that she was left confused about whether they were due to ignorance or being cheeky. His spelling was extremely phonetic, and even though he admitted to having done math problems, he either wouldn't or couldn't answer the simplest question in mental math. “Five apples and eight apples, come on, Conrade, what does that add up to?”
“A pie.”
“A pie.”
That was the hopeful way in which the examination proceeded, and when Rachel attempted to say that his mother would be much displeased, he proceeded to tumble head over heels all round the room, as if he knew better; which performance broke up the seance, with a resolve on her part that when she had the books she would not be so beaten. She tried Francis, but he really did know next to nothing, and whenever he came to a word above five letters long stopped short, and when told to spell it, said, “Mamma never made him spell;” also muttering something depreciating about civilians.
That was the optimistic way the exam went, and when Rachel tried to point out that his mother would be very upset, he started tumbling around the room, as if he knew better. This performance ended the session, and she resolved that when she had the books, she wouldn't be so defeated. She gave Francis a shot, but he honestly knew almost nothing, and every time he encountered a word longer than five letters, he would stop short. When asked to spell it, he said, “Mom never made him spell,” while also muttering something negative about regular people.
Rachel was a woman of perseverance. She went to the bookseller’s, and obtained a fair amount of books, which she ordered to be sent to Lady Temple’s. But when she came down the next morning, the parcel was nowhere to be found. There was a grand interrogation, and at last it turned out to have been safely deposited in an empty dog-kennel in the back yard. It was very hard on Rachel that Fanny giggled like a school-girl, and even though ashamed of herself and her sons, could not find voice to scold them respectably. No wonder, after such encouragement, that Rachel found her mission no sinecure, and felt at the end of her morning’s work much as if she had been driving pigs to market, though the repetition was imposing on the boys a sort of sense of fate and obedience, and there was less active resistance, though learning it was not, only letting teaching be thrown at them. All the rest of the day, except those two hours, they ran wild about the house, garden, and beach—the latter place under the inspection of Coombe, whom, since the “Jolly Mariner” proposal, Rachel did not in the least trust; all the less when she heard that Major Keith, whose soldier-servant he had originally been, thought very highly of him. A call at Myrtlewood was formidable from the bear-garden sounds, and delicate as Lady Temple was considered to be, unable to walk or bear fatigue, she never appeared to be incommoded by the uproar in which she lived, and had even been seen careering about the nursery, or running about the garden, in a way that Grace and Rachel thought would tire a strong woman. As to a tete-a-tete with her, it was never secured by anything short of Rachel’s strong will, for the children were always with her, and she went to bed, or at any rate to her own room, when they did, and she was so perfectly able to play and laugh with them that her cousins scarcely thought her sufficiently depressed, and comparing her with what their own mother had been after ten months’ widowhood, agreed that after all “she had been very young, and Sir Stephen very old, and perhaps too much must not be expected of her.”
Rachel was a determined woman. She went to the bookstore and picked up a good number of books, which she had sent to Lady Temple’s. But when she came down the next morning, the package was nowhere to be found. There was a big fuss about it, and eventually, it turned out to have been safely placed in an empty doghouse in the backyard. It was really tough for Rachel to see Fanny giggling like a schoolgirl, and even though she was embarrassed for herself and her sons, she couldn’t bring herself to properly scold them. It's no surprise, after such encouragement, that Rachel found her task challenging and felt at the end of her morning’s work as if she had been herding pigs to market. Although the boys were feeling a sense of fate and obedience due to the repetition, there wasn’t much active engagement; they were just letting the lessons be thrown at them. For the rest of the day, except for those two hours, they ran wild around the house, garden, and beach—where they were supervised by Coombe, whom Rachel didn’t trust at all since the “Jolly Mariner” proposal, especially after hearing that Major Keith, whose soldier-servant he had originally been, thought very highly of him. Visiting Myrtlewood was daunting with the chaotic noise, and despite being considered delicate, as Lady Temple was unable to walk or handle fatigue, she never seemed bothered by the chaos she lived in. In fact, she had even been seen racing around the nursery or running through the garden in a way that Grace and Rachel thought would exhaust a strong woman. As for having a one-on-one conversation with her, that was only achieved through Rachel’s strong will because the children were always with her. She would go to bed, or at least to her own room, when they did, and she was so good at playing and laughing with them that her cousins hardly thought she was sad enough, and when comparing her to how their own mother had been after ten months of widowhood, they agreed that after all “she had been very young, and Sir Stephen very old, so maybe too much shouldn’t be expected of her.”
“The grand passion of her life is yet to come,” said Rachel.
“The greatest passion of her life is still ahead,” said Rachel.
“I hope not,” said Grace.
“I hope not,” Grace said.
“You may be certain of that,” said Rachel. “Feminine women always have it one time or other in their lives; only superior ones are exempt. But I hope I may have influence enough to carry her past it, and prevent her taking any step that might be injurious to the children.”
“You can be sure of that,” said Rachel. “Women who are traditionally feminine go through it at some point in their lives; only the exceptional ones don't. But I hope I can have enough influence to help her get through it and keep her from doing anything that could harm the children.”
CHAPTER II. RACHEL’S DISCIPLINE
“Thought is free, as sages tells us— Free to rove, and free to soar; But affection lives in bondage, That enthrals her more and more.” JEAN INGELOW.
“Thought is free, as wise people tell us— Free to wander, and free to rise; But love is trapped in chains, That hold her tighter each time.” JEAN INGELOW.
An old friend lived in the neighbourhood who remembered Fanny’s father, and was very anxious to see her again, though not able to leave the house. So the first day that it was fine enough for Mrs. Curtis to venture out, she undertook to convey Fanny to call upon her, and was off with a wonderfully moderate allowance of children, only the two youngest boys outside with their maid. This drive brought more to light about Fanny’s past way of life and feelings than had ever yet appeared. Rachel had never elicited nearly so much as seemed to have come forth spontaneously to the aunt, who had never in old times been Fanny’s confidante.
An old friend lived in the neighborhood who remembered Fanny’s father and was eager to see her again, even though she couldn’t leave the house. So on the first day it was nice enough for Mrs. Curtis to go out, she decided to take Fanny to visit her. She set off with a surprisingly small number of children, just the two youngest boys outside with their nanny. This trip revealed more about Fanny’s past and feelings than had ever come out before. Rachel had never managed to get as much information as seemed to come out so naturally to the aunt, who had never been Fanny’s confidante in the past.
Fanny’s life had been almost a prolonged childhood. From the moment of her marriage with the kind old General, he and her mother had conspired to make much of her; all the more that she was almost constantly disabled by her state of health, and was kept additionally languid and helpless by the effects of climate. Her mother had managed her household, and she had absolutely had no care, no duty at all but to be affectionate and grateful, and to be pretty and gracious at the dinner parties. Even in her mother’s short and sudden illness, the one thought of both the patient and the General had been to spare Fanny, and she had been scarcely made aware of the danger, and not allowed to witness the suffering. The chivalrous old man who had taken on himself the charge of her, still regarded the young mother of his children as almost as much of a baby herself, and devoted himself all the more to sparing her trouble, and preventing her from feeling more thrown upon her by her mother’s death. The notion of training her to act alone never even occurred to him, and when he was thrown from his horse, and carried into a wayside-hut to die, his first orders were that no hurried message might be sent to her, lest she might be startled and injured by the attempt to come to him. All he could do for her was to leave her in the charge of his military secretary, who had long been as a son to him. Fanny told her aunt with loving detail all that she had heard from Major Keith of the brave old man’s calm and resigned end—too full of trust even to be distressed with alarms for the helpless young wife and children, but committing them in full reliance to the care of their Father in heaven, and to the present kindness of the friend who stood by his pillow.
Fanny’s life had been like an extended childhood. From the moment she married the kind old General, he and her mother had worked together to pamper her; especially since she was almost constantly held back by her health issues and felt even more weak and helpless due to the climate. Her mother managed the household, so Fanny had no responsibilities at all except to be loving and grateful, and to look pretty and charming at dinner parties. Even during her mother’s brief and unexpected illness, both the patient and the General focused on protecting Fanny, and she was hardly made aware of the danger, being shielded from the suffering. The gallant old man, who took on the responsibility of caring for her, still viewed the young mother of his children as nearly a child herself, so he was even more dedicated to sparing her from any trouble and shielding her from feeling overwhelmed by her mother’s death. The idea of preparing her to manage on her own never crossed his mind, and when he was thrown from his horse and taken to a roadside hut to die, his first orders were that no urgent message be sent to her, fearing it might startle her and cause her distress in trying to reach him. All he could do for her was to leave her in the care of his military secretary, who had long been like a son to him. Fanny told her aunt with loving detail everything she learned from Major Keith about the brave old man’s calm and resigned passing—full of trust, he was even too composed to worry about the helpless young wife and children, fully entrusting them to the care of their Father in heaven and to the kindness of the friend who was at his side.
The will, which not only Rachel but her mother thought strangely unguarded, had been drawn up in haste, because Sir Stephen’s family had outgrown the provisions of a former one, which had besides designated her mother, and a friend since dead, as guardians. Haste, and the conscious want of legal knowledge, had led to its being made as simple as possible, and as it was, Sir Stephen had scarcely had the power to sign it.
The will, which both Rachel and her mother found surprisingly unprotected, had been created in a rush because Sir Stephen’s family had surpassed the terms of an earlier one, which had also named her mother and a now-deceased friend as guardians. The rush and awareness of their lack of legal knowledge resulted in it being made as straightforward as possible, and as it was, Sir Stephen barely had the ability to sign it.
It was Major Keith who had borne the tidings to the poor little widow, and had taken the sole care of the boys during the sad weeks of care utter prostration and illness. Female friends were with her, and tended her affectionately, but if exertion or thought were required of her, the Major had to be called to her sofa to awaken her faculties, and she always awoke to attend to his wishes, as though he were the channel of her husband’s. This state of things ended with the birth of the little girl, the daughter that Sir Stephen had so much wished for, coming too late to be welcomed by him, but awakening her mother to tearful joy and renewed powers of life. The nine months of little Stephana’s life had been a tone of continual change and variety, of new interests and occupations, and of the resumption of a feeling of health which had scarcely been tasted since the first plunge into warm climates. Perhaps it was unreasonable to expect to find Fanny broken down; and she talked in her own simple way with abundant overflowing affection of her husband; but even Mrs. Curtis thought it was to her more like the loss of her own father than of the father of her children; and though not in the least afraid of anything unbecoming in her gentle, retiring Fanny, still felt that it was more the charge of a girl than of a widow, dreaded the boys, dreaded their fate, and dreaded the Major more.
It was Major Keith who brought the news to the poor little widow and took care of the boys during the sad weeks of her complete exhaustion and illness. Female friends were with her, looking after her with kindness, but whenever she needed to exert herself or think, the Major had to be called to her sofa to rouse her, and she always woke up to fulfill his requests, as if he were the link to her husband. This situation changed with the birth of the little girl, the daughter that Sir Stephen had longed for, arriving too late to be welcomed by him but bringing her mother tears of joy and a renewed sense of vitality. The nine months of little Stephana’s life had been a period of constant change and variety, filled with new interests and activities, and a revival of health that had barely been felt since her initial immersion in warm climates. Perhaps it was unrealistic to expect Fanny to be completely broken; she spoke in her own simple way with overflowing affection for her husband. Yet even Mrs. Curtis felt that Fanny’s grief resembled more the loss of her own father than the father of her children; and though she had no fear of anything inappropriate in her gentle, reserved Fanny, she sensed that it felt more like the responsibility of a girl than a widow, fearing for the boys, worrying about their future, and feeling anxious about the Major even more.
During this drive, Grace and Rachel had the care of the elder boys, whom Rachel thought safer in her keeping than in Coombe’s. A walk along the cliffs was one resource for their amusement, but it resulted in Conrade’s climbing into the most break-neck places, by preference selecting those that Rachel called him out of, and as all the others thought it necessary to go after him, the jeopardy of Leoline and Hubert became greater than it was possible to permit; so Grace took them by the hands, and lured them home with promises of an introduction to certain white rabbits at the lodge. After their departure, their brothers became infinitely more obstreperous. Whether it were that Conrade had some slight amount of consideration for the limbs of his lesser followers, or whether the fact were—what Rachel did not remotely imagine—that he was less utterly unmanageable with her sister than with herself, certain it is that the brothers went into still more intolerable places, and treated their guardian as ducklings treat an old hen. At last they quite disappeared from the view round a projecting point of rock, and when she turned it, she found a battle royal going on over an old lobster-pot—Conrade hand to hand with a stout fisher-boy, and Francis and sundry amphibious creatures of both sexes exchanging a hail of stones, water-smoothed brick-bats, cockle-shells, fishes’ backbones, and other unsavoury missiles. Abstractedly, Rachel had her theory that young gentlemen had better scramble their way among their poor neighbours, and become used to all ranks; but when it came to witnessing an actual skirmish when she was responsible for Fanny’s sons, it was needful to interfere, and in equal dismay and indignation she came round the point. The light artillery fled at her aspect, and she had to catch Francis’s arm in the act of discharging after them a cuttlefish’s white spine, with a sharp “For shame, they are running away! Conrade, Zack, have done!” Zack was one of her own scholars, and held her in respect.
During the drive, Grace and Rachel were in charge of the older boys, who Rachel felt were safer with her than with Coombe. A walk along the cliffs was one way to keep them entertained, but it often led to Conrade climbing into dangerous spots, particularly the ones Rachel warned him against. Since the other boys felt they had to follow him, Leoline and Hubert's safety became a real concern. So, Grace took their hands and tempted them to go home by promising to introduce them to some white rabbits at the lodge. After the younger boys left, their brothers became much more unruly. It seemed like Conrade showed a bit of restraint when it came to his younger siblings, or maybe it was just that he was a bit easier to manage with her sister around than with Rachel. Regardless, the brothers got into even more trouble and treated their guardian like a mother hen. Soon, they completely disappeared around a jutting rock, and when Rachel rounded the corner, she found a full-on brawl over an old lobster pot—Conrade tussling with a burly fisher-boy while Francis and a group of other kids hurled stones, water-smooth bricks, shells, fish bones, and other gross things at each other. Rachel had a theory that young boys should learn to mix with all sorts of people, but witnessing an actual fight while being responsible for Fanny's sons forced her to step in. With equal parts worry and anger, she rushed around the rock. The little fighters scattered at the sight of her, and she had to grab Francis's arm just as he was about to throw a cuttlefish's white spine with a sharp, “Shame on you, they are running away! Conrade, Zack, stop it!” Zack was one of her own students and respected her.
He desisted at once, and with a touch of his rough forelock, looked sheepish, and said, “Please ma’am, he was meddling with our lobster-pot.”
He stopped immediately, and with a tug at his messy hair, looked embarrassed and said, “Please ma’am, he was messing with our lobster trap.”
“I wasn’t doing any harm,” said Conrade. “I was just looking in, and they all came and shied stones at us.”
“I wasn’t doing anything wrong,” said Conrade. “I was just peeking in, and they all came out and threw stones at us.”
“I don’t care how the quarrel began,” said Rachel. “You would not have run into it if you had been behaving properly. Zack was quite right to protect his father’s property, but he might have been more civil. Now shake hands, and have done with it.”
“I don’t care how the fight started,” Rachel said. “You wouldn’t have gotten involved if you had been acting right. Zack was totally justified in standing up for his dad’s property, but he could have been a bit nicer about it. Now shake hands and let’s put this behind us.”
“Not shake hands with a low boy,” growled Francis. But happily Conrade was of a freer spirit, and in spite of Rachel’s interference, had sense enough to know himself in the wrong. He held out his hand, and when the ceremony had been gone through, put his hands in his pockets, produced a shilling, and said, “There, that’s in case I did the thing any harm.” Rachel would have preferred Zachary’s being above its acceptance, but he was not, and she was thankful that a wood path offend itself, leading through the Homestead plantations away from the temptations and perils of the shore.
“Don’t shake hands with a low boy,” Francis snarled. But thankfully, Conrade had a more open attitude, and despite Rachel’s objections, he was smart enough to recognize he was in the wrong. He extended his hand, and after the handshake, he shoved his hands in his pockets, pulled out a shilling, and said, “There, that’s in case I messed things up.” Rachel would have preferred Zachary to refuse it, but he didn’t, and she was relieved that a wooded path led through the Homestead plantations, away from the temptations and dangers of the shore.
That the two boys, instead of listening to her remonstrance, took to punching and kicking one another, was a mitigated form of evil for which she willingly compounded, having gone through so much useless interference already, that she felt as if she had no spirit left to keep the peace, and that they must settle their little affairs between themselves. It was the most innocent diversion in which she could hope to see them indulge. She only desired that it might last them past a thrush’s nest, in the hedge between the park and plantation, a somewhat treasured discovery of Grace’s. No such good luck. Either the thrush’s imprudence or Grace’s visits had made the nest dangerously visible, and it was proclaimed with a shout. Rachel, in hot haste, warned them against taking birds’-nests in general, and that in particular.
That the two boys, instead of listening to her protests, started punching and kicking each other was a lesser evil she was willing to accept. After dealing with so much pointless interference already, she felt like she had no energy left to keep the peace, and they needed to work out their issues on their own. It was the most harmless distraction she hoped they would enjoy. She just wished it would last long enough for them to get past a thrush’s nest in the hedge between the park and the woods, which Grace had treasured. No such luck. Either the thrush was reckless or Grace’s visits had made the nest too obvious, and it was announced with a shout. Rachel hurriedly warned them against taking bird nests in general, and that one in particular.
“Nests are made to be taken,” said Francis.
“Nests are meant to be taken,” said Francis.
“I’ve got an egg of all the Australian birds the Major could get me,” said Conrade, “and I mean to have all the English ones.”
“I’ve got an egg of every Australian bird the Major could get me,” said Conrade, “and I intend to get all the English ones.”
“Oh, one egg; there’s no harm in taking that; but this nest has young birds.”
“Oh, just one egg; it won't hurt to take that, but this nest has baby birds.”
The young birds must of course be seen, and Rachel stood by with despairing frowns, commands, and assurances of their mother’s displeasure, while they peeped in, tantalized the gaping yellow throats, by holding up their fingers, and laid hands on the side of the nest, peeping at her with laughing, mischievous eyes, enjoying her distress. She was glad at last to find them coming away without the nest, and after crossing the park, arrived at the house, tired out, but with two hours of the boys still on her hands. They, however, were a little tired, too; and, further, Grace had hunted out the old bowls, much to the delight of the younger ones. This sport lasted a good while, but at last the sisters, who had relaxed their attention a little, perceived that Conrade and Hubert were both missing, and on Rachel’s inquiry where they were, she received from Francis that elegant stock answer, “in their skins.” However, they came to light in process of time, the two mothers returned home, and Mrs. Curtis and Grace had the conversation almost in their own hands. Rachel was too much tired to do anything but read the new number of her favourite “Traveller’s Magazine,” listening to her mother with one ear, and gathering additional impressions of Sir Stephen Temple’s imprudence, and the need of their own vigilance. To make Fanny feel that she could lean upon some one besides the military secretary, seemed to be the great object, and she was so confiding and affectionate with her own kin, that there were great hopes. Those boys were an infliction, no doubt, but, thought Rachel, “there is always an ordeal at the beginning of one’s mission. I am mastering them by degrees, and should do so sooner if I had them in my own hands, and no more worthy task can be done than training human beings for their work in this world, so I must be willing to go through a little while I bring them into order, and fit their mother for managing them.”
The young birds definitely needed to be seen, and Rachel stood by with frowning looks of despair, commands, and assurances of their mother’s anger, while they peeked in, teasing the gaping yellow mouths by holding up their fingers, and laid hands on the side of the nest, looking at her with playful, mischievous eyes, enjoying her distress. She was finally relieved to see them coming away without the nest, and after crossing the park, she arrived at the house, exhausted, but still with two hours of the boys to deal with. They, however, were a little tired too; plus, Grace had dug out the old bowls, much to the delight of the younger kids. This fun went on for a while, but eventually the sisters, having relaxed their watch a bit, noticed that Conrade and Hubert were both missing, and when Rachel asked where they were, Francis gave her that classic answer, “in their skins.” However, they eventually showed up, the two mothers returned home, and Mrs. Curtis and Grace had the conversation almost to themselves. Rachel was too tired to do much beside read the new issue of her favorite “Traveller’s Magazine,” listening to her mother with one ear, and soaking up more details about Sir Stephen Temple’s recklessness, and the need for their own watchfulness. Making Fanny feel like she could rely on someone besides the military secretary seemed to be the main goal, and she was so trusting and affectionate with her family that there was a lot of hope. Those boys were definitely a challenge, but Rachel thought, “there's always a test at the beginning of one’s mission. I’m mastering them gradually, and I would do it faster if I had them under my control, and there's no more worthy task than preparing people for their roles in this world, so I must be willing to go through a bit of struggle while I get them in line, and prepare their mother for handling them.”
She spent the time before breakfast the next morning in a search among the back numbers of the “Traveller’s Magazine” for a paper upon “Educational Laws,” which she thought would be very good reading for Fanny. Her search had been just completed when Grace returned home from church, looking a good deal distressed. “My poor thrushes have not escaped, Rachel,” she said; “I came home that way to see how they were going on, and the nest is torn out, one poor little fellow lying dead below it.”
She spent the time before breakfast the next morning looking through the old issues of the “Traveller’s Magazine” for an article on “Educational Laws,” which she thought would be great reading for Fanny. She had just finished searching when Grace came home from church, looking quite upset. “My poor thrushes didn’t make it, Rachel,” she said; “I took that route to check on them, and the nest is gone, with one little guy lying dead underneath it.”
“Well, that is much worse than I expected!” burst out Rachel. “I did think that boy Conrade would at least keep his promises.” And she detailed the adventure of the previous day, whence the conclusion was but too evident. Grace, however, said in her own sweet manner that she believed boys could not resist a nest, and thought it mere womanhood to intercede for such lawful game. She thought it would be best to take no notice, it would only distress Fanny and make “the mother” more afraid of the boys than she was already, and she doubted the possibility of bringing it home to the puerile conscience.
“Well, that is way worse than I expected!” Rachel exclaimed. “I thought that boy Conrade would at least keep his promises.” She then recounted the adventure from the day before, from which the conclusion was painfully obvious. Grace, however, said in her sweet way that she believed boys couldn’t resist a nest and thought it was just a natural instinct for women to advocate for such lawful pursuits. She thought it was best to ignore it; it would only upset Fanny and make “the mother” even more afraid of the boys than she already was, and she doubted it would really register with their childish conscience.
“That is weak!” said Rachel. “I received the boy’s word, and it is my business to deal with the breach of promise.”
“That is weak!” Rachel said. “I have the boy's word, and it’s my responsibility to handle the breach of promise.”
So down went Rachel, and finding the boys rushing about the garden, according to their practice, before her arrival, she summoned Conrade, and addressed him with, “Well, Conrade, I knew that you were violent and disobedient, but I never expected you to fail in your honour as a gentleman.”
So Rachel went down, and finding the boys running around the garden, as they usually did before she got there, she called Conrade over and said, “Well, Conrade, I knew you were aggressive and disrespectful, but I never thought you would fail to uphold your honor as a gentleman.”
“I’ll thrash any one who says I have,” hotly exclaimed Conrade.
“I’ll take down anyone who says I have,” Conrade exclaimed fiercely.
“Then you must thrash me. You gave your word to me not to take your Aunt Grace’s thrush’s nest.”
“Then you have to punish me. You promised me that you wouldn’t take your Aunt Grace’s thrush's nest.”
“And I didn’t,” said Conrade, boldly.
“And I didn’t,” Conrade said confidently.
But Rachel, used to flat denials at the village-school, was not to be thus set aside. “I am shocked at you, Conrade,” she said. “I know your mamma will be exceedingly grieved. You must have fallen into very sad ways to be able to utter such a bold untruth. You had better confess at once, and then I shall have something to tell her that will comfort he.”
But Rachel, accustomed to straightforward refusals at the village school, wasn't going to let that slide. “I’m really disappointed in you, Conrade,” she said. “I know your mom will be incredibly upset. You must be in a pretty bad place to say something so blatantly untrue. You should just admit it right now, and then I’ll have something to tell her that will make her feel better.”
Conrade’s dark face looked set as iron.
Conrade’s dark face was as hard as iron.
“Come; tell me you are sorry you took the nest, and have broken your word, and told a falsehood.”
“Come on; tell me you're sorry you took the nest, broke your promise, and lied.”
Red colour flushed into the brown cheek, and the hands were clenched.
Red color flushed into the brown cheek, and the hands were clenched.
“There is not the smallest use in denying it. I know you took it when you and Hubert went away together. Your Aunt Grace found it gone this morning, and one of the poor little birds dead below. What have you done with the others?”
“There’s no point in denying it. I know you took it when you and Hubert went away together. Your Aunt Grace noticed it was missing this morning, and one of the poor little birds was found dead below. What did you do with the others?”
Not a word.
Not a peep.
“Then I grieve to say I must tell all to your mother.”
“Then I’m sad to say I have to tell everything to your mom.”
There was a sort of smile of defiance, and he followed her. For a moment she thought of preventing this, and preparing Fanny in private, but recollecting that this would give him the opportunity of preparing Hubert to support his falsehood, she let him enter with her, and sought Lady Temple in the nursery.
There was a kind of defiant smile, and he followed her. For a moment, she considered stopping him and getting Fanny ready in private, but remembering that this would give him the chance to prep Hubert to back up his lie, she let him come in with her and went to find Lady Temple in the nursery.
“Dear Fanny, I am very sorry to bring you so much vexation. I am afraid it will be a bitter grief to you, but it is only for Conrade’s own sake that I do it. It was a cruel thing to take a bird’s-nest at all, but worse when he knew that his Aunt Grace was particularly fond of it; and, besides, he had promised not to touch it, and now, saddest of all, he denies having done so.”
“Dear Fanny, I’m really sorry to cause you so much distress. I know this will be painful for you, but I’m doing this for Conrade’s own good. It was unkind to take a bird’s nest at all, but it’s even worse knowing that his Aunt Grace was especially fond of it; plus, he had promised not to touch it, and now, saddest of all, he denies that he ever did.”
“Oh, Conrade, Conrade!” cried Fanny, quite confounded, “You can’t have done like this!”
“Oh, Conrade, Conrade!” cried Fanny, completely shocked, “You can’t have done this!”
“So, I have not,” said Conrade, coming up to her, as she held out her hand, positively encouraging him, as Rachel thought, to persist in the untruth.
“So, I haven't,” said Conrade, approaching her as she extended her hand, clearly encouraging him, as Rachel thought, to continue with the lie.
“Listen, Fanny,” said Rachel. “I do not wonder that you are unwilling to believe anything so shocking, but I do not come without being only too certain.” And she gave the facts, to which Fanny listened with pale cheeks and tearful eyes, then turned to the boy, whose hand she had held all the time, and said, “Dear Con, do pray tell me if you did it.”
“Listen, Fanny,” said Rachel. “I get that you don't want to believe something so shocking, but I come to you fully convinced.” And she shared the facts, which made Fanny go pale and tear up. Then she turned to the boy, whose hand she had held the whole time, and said, “Dear Con, please tell me if you did it.”
“I did not,” said Conrade, wrenching his hand away, and putting it behind his back.
“I didn’t,” Conrade said, pulling his hand away and putting it behind his back.
“Where’s Hubert?” asked Rachel, looking round, and much vexed when she perceived that Hubert had been within hearing all the time, though to be sure there was some little hope to be founded upon the simplicity of five years old.
“Where’s Hubert?” asked Rachel, looking around, and feeling quite annoyed when she realized that Hubert had been within earshot the whole time, although there was some slight hope to be found in the simplicity of a five-year-old.
“Come here, Hubert dear,” said his mother; “don’t be frightened, only come and tell me where you and Con went yesterday, when the others were playing at bowls.” Hubert hung his head, and looked at his brother.
“Come here, Hubert, sweetheart,” said his mother; “don’t be scared, just come over and tell me where you and Con went yesterday while the others were playing bowls.” Hubert dropped his gaze and looked at his brother.
“Tell,” quoth Conrade. “Never mind her, she’s only a civilian.”
“Tell,” Conrade said. “Don’t worry about her, she’s just a civilian.”
“Where did you go, Hubert?”
“Where have you been, Hubert?”
“Con showed me the little birds in their nest.”
“Con showed me the baby birds in their nest.”
“That is right, Hubert, good little boy. Did you or he touch the nest?”
“That’s right, Hubert, good boy. Did you or he touch the nest?”
“Yes.” Then, as Conrade started, and looked fiercely at him, “Yes you did, Con, you touched the inside to see what it was made of.”
“Yes.” Then, as Conrade jumped and glared at him, “Yes you did, Con, you poked inside to see what it was made of.”
“But what did you do with it?” asked Rachel.
“But what did you do with it?” Rachel asked.
“Left it there, up in the tree,” said the little boy.
“Left it there, up in the tree,” said the little boy.
“There, Rachel!” said the mother, triumphantly.
“There, Rachel!” said the mom, proudly.
“I don’t know what you mean,” said Rachel, angrily, “only that Conrade is a worse boy than I had thought him, end has been teaching his little brother falsehood.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Rachel said angrily, “only that Conrade is a worse kid than I thought he was, and he has been teaching his little brother to lie.”
The angry voice set Hubert crying, and little Cyril, who was very soft-hearted, joined in chorus, followed by the baby, who was conscious of something very disagreeable going on in her nursery. Thereupon, after the apparently most important business of comforting Miss Temple had been gone through, the court of justice adjourned, Rachel opening the door of Conrade’s little room, and recommending solitary imprisonment there till he should be brought to confession. She did not at all reckon on his mother going in with him, and shutting the door after her. It was not the popular notion of solitary confinement, and Rachel was obliged to retire, and wait in the drawing-room for a quarter of an hour before Fanny came down, and then it was to say—
The angry voice made Hubert cry, and little Cyril, who was very soft-hearted, joined in, followed by the baby, who sensed something very unpleasant happening in her nursery. After what seemed like the most important task of comforting Miss Temple was completed, the court of justice took a break, with Rachel opening the door to Conrade’s small room and suggesting he spend some time in there until he confessed. She didn’t expect his mother to go in with him and shut the door behind her. That wasn’t exactly what people thought of as solitary confinement, so Rachel had to leave and wait in the drawing-room for a quarter of an hour before Fanny came downstairs, and then she said—
“Do you know, Rachel dear, I am convinced that it must be a mistake. Conrade assures me he never touched the nest.”
“Do you know, dear Rachel, I’m convinced it has to be a mistake. Conrade insists he never touched the nest.”
“So he persists in it?”
“Is he still doing that?”
“And indeed, Rachel dear, I cannot help believing him. If it had been Francie, now; but I never knew Conrade tell an untruth in his life.”
“And really, Rachel dear, I can’t help but believe him. If it had been Francie, now; but I’ve never known Conrade to lie in his life.”
“You never knew, because you always believe him.”
“You never knew because you always believed him.”
“And it is not only me, but I have often heard the Major say he could always depend on Conrade’s word.”
“And it’s not just me; I’ve often heard the Major say he could always count on Conrade’s word.”
Rachel’s next endeavour was at gentle argument. “It must be dreadful to make such a discovery, but it was far worse to let deceit go on undetected; and if only they were firm—” At that moment she beheld two knickerbocker boys prancing on the lawn.
Rachel’s next attempt was at a calm argument. “It must be terrible to make such a discovery, but it was much worse to let the deception continue unnoticed; and if only they were strong—” At that moment, she saw two boys in knickerbockers dancing on the lawn.
“Didn’t you lock the door? Has he broken out? How audacious!”
“Didn’t you lock the door? Did he escape? How bold!”
“I let him come out,” said Fanny; “there was nothing to shut him up for. I beg your pardon, dear Rachel; I am very sony for the poor little birds and for Grace, but I am sure Conrade did not take it.”
“I let him come out,” Fanny said. “There was no reason to keep him inside. I’m really sorry, dear Rachel; I feel terrible for the poor little birds and for Grace, but I’m sure Conrade didn’t take it.”
“How can you be so unreasonable, Fanny—the evidence,” and Rachel went over it all again.
“How can you be so unreasonable, Fanny—the evidence,” Rachel said as she went over it all again.
“Don’t you think,” said Fanny, “that some boy may have got into the park?”
“Don’t you think,” Fanny said, “that some boy might have gotten into the park?”
“My dear Fanny, I am sorry for you, it is quite out of the question to think so; the place is not a stone’s-throw from Randall’s lodge. It will be the most fatal thing in the world to let your weakness be imposed on in this way. Now that the case is clear, the boy must be forced to confession, and severely punished.”
“My dear Fanny, I feel for you, but that's completely unrealistic; the place is not even close to Randall’s lodge. Allowing your vulnerability to be taken advantage of like this would be the worst thing possible. Now that we know the situation, we must make the boy confess and face serious consequences.”
Fanny burst into tears.
Fanny started crying.
“I am very sorry for you, Fanny. I know it is very painful; I assure you it is so to me. Perhaps it would be best if I were to lock him up, and go from time to time to see if he is come to a better mind.”
“I feel really sorry for you, Fanny. I know it’s really hard; I promise you it’s tough for me too. Maybe it would be best if I locked him up, and checked in on him every now and then to see if he’s thinking more clearly.”
She rose up.
She got up.
“No, no, Rachel!” absolutely screamed Fanny, starting up, “my boy hasn’t done anything wrong, and I won’t have him locked up! Go away! If anything is to be done to my boys, I’ll do it myself: they haven’t got any one but me. Oh, I wish the Major would come!”
“No, no, Rachel!” Fanny yelled, jumping up. “My boy hasn’t done anything wrong, and I won’t let him get locked up! Go away! If anything needs to be taken care of with my boys, I’ll handle it myself: they only have me. Oh, I wish the Major would show up!”
“Fanny, how can you be so foolish?—as if I would hurt your boys!”
“Fanny, how can you be so silly?—like I would ever hurt your boys!”
“But you won’t believe Conrade—my Conrade, that never told a falsehood in his life!” cried the mother, with a flush in her cheeks and a bright glance in her soft eyes. “You want me to punish him for what he hasn’t done.”
“But you won’t believe Conrade—my Conrade, who has never told a lie in his life!” cried the mother, her cheeks flushed and her soft eyes sparkling. “You want me to punish him for something he didn’t do.”
“How much alike mothers are in all classes of life,” thought Rachel, and much in the way in which she would have brought Zack’s mother to reason by threats of expulsion from the shoe-club, she observed, “Well Fanny, one thing is clear, while you are so weak as to let that boy go on in his deceit, unrepentant and unpunished, I can have no more to do with his education.”
“How similar mothers are across all walks of life,” Rachel thought, and just like she would have convinced Zack’s mother to see reason by threatening to kick her out of the shoe club, she remarked, “Well Fanny, one thing is clear: as long as you’re too weak to stop that boy from continuing his lies, without remorse and without consequences, I can’t be involved in his education anymore.”
“Indeed,” softly said Fanny, “I am afraid so, Rachel. You have taken a great deal of trouble, but Conrade declares he will never say a lesson to you again, and I don’t quite see how to make him after this.”
“Yeah,” Fanny said softly, “I’m afraid that’s true, Rachel. You’ve put in a lot of effort, but Conrade says he’ll never teach you again, and I’m not sure how to change his mind about that.”
“Oh, very well; then there’s an end of it. I am sorry for you, Fanny.”
“Oh, fine; that settles it. I feel sorry for you, Fanny.”
And away walked Rachel, and as she went towards the gate two artificial jets d’eau, making a considerable curve in the air, alighted, the one just before her, the other, better aimed, in the back of her neck. She had too much dignity to charge back upon the offenders, but she went home full of the story of Fanny’s lamentable weakness, and prognostications of the misery she was entailing on herself. Her mother and sister were both much concerned, and thought Fanny extremely foolish; Mrs. Curtis consoling herself with the hope that the boys would be cured and tamed at school, and begging that they might never be let loose in the park again. Rachel could not dwell much longer on the matter, for she had to ride to Upper Avon Park to hold council on the books to be ordered for the book-club; for if she did got go herself, whatever she wanted especially was always set aside as too something or other for the rest of the subscribers.
And away walked Rachel, and as she moved toward the gate, two artificial fountains, making a significant curve in the air, sprayed her—one right in front of her, and the other, better aimed, hit her in the back of her neck. She had too much dignity to go back and confront the culprits, but she headed home filled with the story of Fanny’s unfortunate weakness and predictions of the misery she was bringing upon herself. Her mother and sister were both very worried and thought Fanny was being extremely foolish; Mrs. Curtis was comforted by the hope that the boys would be straightened out at school and wished they would never be allowed to run wild in the park again. Rachel couldn’t focus on this matter for much longer, as she had to ride to Upper Avon Park to discuss the books to order for the book club; if she didn’t go herself, whatever she particularly wanted was always set aside as too something-or-other for the other subscribers.
Mrs. Curtis was tired, and stayed at home; and Grace spent the afternoon in investigations about the harrying of the thrushes, but, alas! without coming a bit nearer the truth. Nothing was seen or heard of Lady Temple till, at half-past nine, one of the midges, or diminutive flies used at Avonmonth, came to the door, and Fanny came into the drawing-room—wan, tearful, agitated.
Mrs. Curtis was tired, so she stayed home, while Grace spent the afternoon trying to find out what was troubling the thrushes, but unfortunately, she didn’t get any closer to the truth. No one saw or heard from Lady Temple until half-past nine, when one of the tiny flies used at Avonmonth came to the door, and Fanny entered the drawing-room—pale, tearful, and distressed.
“Dear Rachel, I am so afraid I was hasty, I could not sleep without coming to tell you how sorry I am.”
“Dear Rachel, I'm really afraid I acted too quickly; I couldn't sleep without coming to tell you how sorry I am.”
“Then you are convinced? I knew you would be.”
“Are you convinced then? I knew you would be.”
“Oh, yes, I have just been sitting by him after he was gone to bed. He never goes to sleep till I have done that, and he always tells me if anything is on his mind. I could not ask him again, it would have been insulting him; but he went over it all of himself, and owned he ought not to have put a finger on the edge of the nest, but he wanted so to see what it was lined with; otherwise he never touched it. He says, poor boy, that it was only your being a civilian that made you not able to believe him, I am sure you must believe him now.”
“Oh, yes, I was just sitting with him after he went to bed. He never falls asleep until I do that, and he always shares if there's something on his mind. I couldn't ask him again; that would have been insulting. But he talked it over by himself and admitted he shouldn't have touched the edge of the nest, but he just really wanted to see what it was lined with; otherwise, he never touched it. He says, poor kid, that the only reason you didn't believe him is that you're a civilian. I’m sure you must believe him now.”
Mrs. Curtis began, in her gentle way, about the difficulty of believing one’s children in fault, but Lady Temple was entirely past accepting the possibility of Conrade’s being to blame in this particular instance. It made her bristle up again, so that even Rachel saw the impossibility of pressing it, and trusted to some signal confutation to cure her of her infatuation. But she was as affectionate as ever, only wanting to be forgiven for the morning’s warmth, and to assure dear Aunt Curtis, dear Grace, and dearest Rachel in particular, that there was no doing without them, and it was the greatest blessing to be near them.
Mrs. Curtis started, in her gentle way, about how hard it is to believe one’s children are at fault, but Lady Temple was completely unwilling to consider that Conrade might be to blame in this situation. It made her bristle again, so much so that even Rachel recognized the impossibility of pushing the issue and hoped for some clear proof to change her mind. But she was as loving as ever, just wanting to be forgiven for her earlier outburst and to assure dear Aunt Curtis, dear Grace, and especially dear Rachel, that she couldn’t do without them and that it was such a blessing to be close to them.
“Oh! and the squirting, dear Rachel! I was so sorry when I found it out, it was only Francie and Leo. I was very angry with them for it, and I should like to make them ask pardon, only I don’t think Francie would. I’m afraid they are very rude boys. I must write to the Major to find me a governess that won’t be very strict with them, and if she could be an officer’s daughter, the boys would respect her so much more.”
“Oh! And the squirt gun, dear Rachel! I was really upset when I found out it was just Francie and Leo. I was really mad at them for it, and I would like them to apologize, but I don’t think Francie would. I’m afraid they’re just very rude boys. I need to write to the Major to help me find a governess who won’t be too strict with them, and if she could be the daughter of an officer, the boys would respect her so much more.”
CHAPTER III. MACKAREL LANE
“For I would lonely stand Uplifting my white hand, On a mission, on a mission, To declare the coming vision.” ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING.
“For I would stand alone Lifting my white hand, On a mission, on a mission, To announce the coming vision.” ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING.
“Well, Grace, all things considered, perhaps I had better walk down with you to Mackarel Lane, and then I can form a judgment on these Williamses without committing Fanny.”
“Well, Grace, given everything, maybe I should walk down with you to Mackarel Lane, and then I can get a sense of these Williamses without involving Fanny.”
“Then you do not intend to go on teaching?”
“Then you don’t plan to keep teaching?”
“Not while Conrade continues to brave me, and is backed up by poor Fanny.”
“Not while Conrade keeps confronting me, and has poor Fanny backing him up.”
“I might speak to Miss Williams after church, and bring her in to Myrtlewood for Fanny to see.”
“I might talk to Miss Williams after church and bring her over to Myrtlewood so Fanny can see her.”
“Yes, that might do in time; but I shall make up my mind first. Poor Fanny is so easily led that we must take care what influences fall in her way.”
“Yes, that might work eventually; but I need to decide first. Poor Fanny is so easily swayed that we have to be careful about what influences come her way.”
“I always wished you would call.”
“I’ve always hoped you would call.”
“Yes, and I would not by way of patronage to please Mr. Touchett, but this is for a purpose; and I hope we shall find both sisters at home.”
“Yes, and I wouldn’t do this just to impress Mr. Touchett, but there’s a reason behind it; and I hope we’ll find both sisters at home.”
Mackarel Lane was at right angles to the shore, running up the valley of the Avon; but it soon ceased to be fishy, and became agricultural, owning a few cottages of very humble gentility, which were wont to hang out boards to attract lodgers of small means. At one of these Grace rang, and obtained admittance to a parlour with crazy French windows opening on a little strip of garden. In a large wheeled chair, between the fire and the window, surrounded by numerous little appliances for comfort and occupation, sat the invalid Miss Williams, holding out her hand in welcome to the guests.
Mackarel Lane ran at a right angle to the shore, going up the valley of the Avon; but it soon stopped being about fish and turned into agricultural land, with a few cottages of modest charm that often displayed signs to attract budget-conscious lodgers. At one of these, Grace rang the bell and was let into a parlor with rickety French windows that opened onto a small garden. In a large wheeled chair, positioned between the fire and the window and surrounded by various items for comfort and entertainment, sat the invalid Miss Williams, extending her hand in welcome to the guests.
“A fine countenance! what one calls a fine countenance!” thought Rachel. “Is it a delusion of insipidity as usual? The brow is good, massive, too much for the features, but perhaps they were fuller once; eyes bright and vigorous, hazel, the colour for thought; complexion meant to be brilliant brunette, a pleasant glow still; hair with threads of grey. I hope she does not affect youth; she can’t be less than one or two and thirty! Many people set up for beauties with far less claim. What is the matter with her? It is not the countenance of deformity—accident, I should say. Yes, it is all favourable except the dress. What a material; what a pattern! Did she get it second-hand from a lady’s-maid? Will there be an incongruity in her conversation to match? Let us see. Grace making inquiries—Quite at my best—Ah! she is not one of the morbid sort, never thinking themselves better.”
“A beautiful face! What people call a beautiful face!” Rachel thought. “Is it just another boring illusion? The forehead is nice, strong, maybe a bit too much for the features, but maybe they were fuller once; her eyes are bright and lively, hazel, the color of thought; her complexion is meant to be a vibrant brunette, still with a nice glow; her hair has some gray strands. I hope she’s not trying to look younger; she can’t be less than thirty or thirty-two! Many people claim to be beauties with far less merit. What’s wrong with her? It doesn’t look like a face that’s deformed—more like an accident, I’d say. Yes, everything is positive except for the dress. What a fabric; what a pattern! Did she get it second-hand from a maid? Will her conversation be as mismatched? Let’s find out. Grace is asking questions—Quite at my best—Ah! she’s not one of those gloomy types, always thinking they’re better than everyone else.”
“I was afraid, I had not seen you out for some time.”
“I was worried, I hadn't seen you outside for a while.”
“No; going out is a troublesome business, and sitting in the garden answers the same purpose.”
“No; going out is a hassle, and sitting in the garden serves the same purpose.”
“Of air, perhaps, but hardly of change or of view.”
“Of air, maybe, but hardly of change or perspective.”
“Oh! I assure you there is a wonderful variety,” she answered, with an eager and brilliant smile.
“Oh! I promise you there’s an amazing variety,” she replied, with an eager and radiant smile.
“Clouds and sunsets?” asked Rachel, beginning to be interested.
“Clouds and sunsets?” Rachel asked, starting to get interested.
“Yes, differing every day. Then I have the tamarisk and its inhabitants. There has been a tom-tit’s nest every year since we came, and that provides us with infinite amusement. Besides the sea-gulls are often so good as to float high enough for me to see them. There is a wonderful charm in a circumcribed view, because one is obliged to look well into it all.”
“Yes, changing every day. Then I have the tamarisk and its residents. There’s been a tom-tit’s nest every year since we arrived, and that brings us endless entertainment. Plus, the sea-gulls often float high enough for me to see them. There’s a fantastic appeal in a limited view because it makes you really pay attention to everything in it.”
“Yes; eyes and no eyes apply there,” said Rachel.
“Yes, both seeing and not seeing apply there,” said Rachel.
“We found a great prize, too, the other day. Rosie!”
“We found a great prize the other day. Rosie!”
At the call a brown-haired, brown-eyed child of seven, looking like a little fawn, sprang to the window from the outside.
At the call, a seven-year-old child with brown hair and brown eyes, resembling a little fawn, jumped to the window from outside.
“My dear, will you show the sphynx to Miss Curtis?”
“Hey, could you show the sphynx to Miss Curtis?”
The little girl daintily brought a box covered with net, in which a huge apple-green caterpillar, with dashes of bright colour on his sides, and a horny spike on his tail, was feasting upon tamarisk leaves. Grace asked if she was going to keep it. “Yes, till it buries itself,” said the child. “Aunt Ermine thinks it is the elephant sphynx.”
The little girl carefully carried a box wrapped in netting, inside which a large apple-green caterpillar, with splashes of bright color along its sides and a prickly spike on its tail, was snacking on tamarisk leaves. Grace asked if she planned to keep it. “Yes, until it buries itself,” said the girl. “Aunt Ermine believes it's the elephant sphinx.”
“I cannot be sure,” said the aunt, “my sister tried to find a figure of it at Villars’, but he had no book that gave the caterpillars. Do you care for those creatures?”
“I’m not sure,” said the aunt, “my sister tried to find a picture of it at Villars’, but he didn’t have any book that showed the caterpillars. Do you like those creatures?”
“I like to watch them,” said Grace, “but I know nothing about them scientifically; Rachel does that.”
“I enjoy watching them,” Grace said, “but I don’t know anything about them scientifically; Rachel handles that.”
“Then can you help us to the history of our sphynx?” asked Miss Williams, with her pleasant look.
“Then can you help us with the history of our sphinx?” asked Miss Williams, with her friendly expression.
“I will see if I have his portrait,” said Rachel, “but I doubt it. I prefer general principles to details.”
“I'll check if I have his picture,” Rachel said, “but I doubt it. I prefer broad ideas over specifics.”
“Don’t you find working out details the best way of entering into general principles?”
“Don’t you think that working out the details is the best way to understand the general principles?”
It was new to Rachel to find the mention of a general principle received neither with a stare nor a laugh; and she gathered herself up to answer, “Naming and collecting is not science.”
It was a surprise for Rachel to see that mentioning a general principle didn’t provoke a stare or a laugh; she composed herself to reply, “Naming and gathering isn’t science.”
“And masonry is not architecture, but you can’t have architecture without it.”
“And masonry isn't architecture, but you can't have architecture without it.”
“One can have broad ideas without all the petty work of flower botanists and butterfly naturalists.”
“One can have big ideas without doing all the nitty-gritty work of flower botanists and butterfly enthusiasts.”
“Don’t you think the broad ideas would be rather of the hearsay order, at least to most people, unless their application were worked out in the trifle that came first to hand?”
“Don’t you think the broad ideas would be mostly seen as hearsay by most people unless their application was figured out in the little things that first came to mind?”
“Experimental philosophy,” said Rachel, in rather a considering tone, as if the notion, when presented to her in plain English, required translation into the language of her thoughts.
“Experimental philosophy,” said Rachel, in a thoughtful tone, as if the idea, when laid out in plain English, needed to be translated into her own way of thinking.
“If you like to call it so,” said Miss Williams, with a look of arch fun. “For instance, the great art of mud pie taught us the porous nature of clay, the expansive power of steam, etc. etc.”
“If you want to call it that,” Miss Williams said, with a playful smile. “For example, the amazing skill of making mud pies taught us about the porous quality of clay, the expanding force of steam, and so on.”
“You had some one to improve it to you?”
“You had someone to explain it to you?”
“Oh dear no. Only afterwards, when we read of such things we remembered how our clay manufactures always burst in the baking unless they were well dried first.”
“Oh no, not at all. It was only later, when we read about stuff like this, that we recalled how our clay creations always exploded in the kiln unless they were properly dried first.”
“Then you had the rare power of elucidating a principle?”
“Then you had the unique ability to clarify a principle?”
“No, not I. My brother had; but I could only perceive the confirmation.”
“No, not me. My brother did; but I could only see the confirmation.”
“This reminds me of an interesting article on the Edgeworth system of education in the ‘Traveller’s Review.’ I will send it down to you.”
“This reminds me of an interesting article about the Edgeworth education system in the ‘Traveller’s Review.’ I’ll send it to you.”
“Thank you, but I have it here.”
“Thanks, but I have it right here.”
“Indeed; and do you not think it excellent, and quite agree with it?”
“Absolutely; don’t you think it’s great and completely agree with it?”
“Yes, I quite agree with it,” and there was an odd look in her bright transparent eyes that made Grace speculate whether she could have heard that agreement with the Invalid in the “Traveller’s Review” was one of the primary articles of faith acquired by Rachel.
“Yes, I totally agree with that,” and there was a peculiar look in her bright, clear eyes that made Grace wonder if she could have picked up on the fact that agreeing with the Invalid in the “Traveller’s Review” was one of the core beliefs Rachel had.
But Grace, though rather proud of Rachel’s falling under the spell of Miss Williams’ conversation, deemed an examination rather hard on her, and took the opportunity of asking for her sister.
But Grace, while somewhat pleased that Rachel was captivated by Miss Williams’ conversation, thought it was a bit unfair to put her through an examination, and seized the moment to ask about her sister.
“She is generally at home by this time; but this is her last day at Cliff Cottages, and she was to stay late to help in the packing up.”
“She is usually home by now; but today is her last day at Cliff Cottages, and she was supposed to stay late to help with the packing.”
“Will she be at home for the present?” asked Grace.
“Is she home right now?” Grace asked.
“Yes, Rose and I are looking forward to a festival of her.”
“Yes, Rose and I are excited for her festival.”
Grace was not at all surprised to hear Rachel at once commit herself with “My cousin, Lady Temple,” and rush into the matter in hand as if secure that the other Miss Williams would educate on the principles of the Invalid; but full in the midst there was a sound of wheels and a ring at the bell. Miss Williams quietly signed to her little attendant to put a chair in an accessible place, and in walked Lady Temple, Mrs. Curtis, and the middle brace of boys.
Grace was not surprised to hear Rachel immediately state, “My cousin, Lady Temple,” and dive into the topic at hand, confident that the other Miss Williams would guide on the principles of the Invalid. But just then, there was the sound of wheels and a ring at the bell. Miss Williams calmly motioned for her little assistant to place a chair in a convenient spot, and in walked Lady Temple, Mrs. Curtis, and the two middle boys.
“The room will be too full,” was Grace’s aside to her sister, chiefly thinking of her mother, but also of their hostess; but Rachel returned for answer, “I must see about it;” and Grace could only remove herself into the verandah, and try to attract Leoline and Hubert after her, but failing in this, she talked to the far more conversible Rose about the bullfinch that hung at the window, which loved no one but Aunt Ermine, and scolded and pecked at every one else; and Augustus, the beloved tame toad, that lived in a hole under a tree in the garden. Mrs. Curtis, considerate and tender-hearted, startled to find her daughter in the field, and wishing her niece to begin about her own affairs, talked common-place by way of filling up the time, and Rachel had her eyes free for a range of the apartment. The foundation was the dull, third-rate lodging-house, the superstructure told of other scenes. One end of the room was almost filled by the frameless portrait of a dignified clergyman, who would have had far more justice done to him by greater distance; a beautifully-painted miniature of a lady with short waist and small crisp curls, was the centre of a system of photographs over the mantel-piece; a large crayon sketch showed three sisters between the ages of six and sixteen, sentimentalizing over a flower-basket; a pair of water-colour drawings represented a handsome church and comfortable parsonage; and the domestic gallery was completed by two prints—one of a middle-aged county-member, the other one of Chalon’s ladylike matrons in watered-silk aprons. With some difficulty Rachel read on the one the autograph, J. T. Beauchamp, and on the other the inscription, the Lady Alison Beauchamp. The table-cover was of tasteful silk patchwork, the vase in the centre was of red earthenware, but was encircled with real ivy leaves gummed on in their freshness, and was filled with wild flowers; books filled every corner; and Rachel felt herself out of the much-loathed region of common-place, but she could not recover from her surprise at the audacity of such an independent measure on the part of her cousin; and under cover of her mother’s civil talk, said to Fanny, “I never expected to see you here.”
“The room is going to be too crowded,” Grace whispered to her sister, mainly thinking about their mom but also about their hostess. Rachel replied, “I need to take care of that;” so Grace moved to the verandah, trying to get Leoline and Hubert to join her, but when that didn’t work, she chatted with the much more talkative Rose about the bullfinch at the window, who only liked Aunt Ermine and would scold and peck at everyone else, and Augustus, the adored pet toad who lived in a hole under a tree in the garden. Mrs. Curtis, being considerate and kind-hearted, was surprised to find her daughter outside and hoping her niece would bring up her own matters, filled the silence with small talk, and Rachel had the chance to look around the room. The foundation was the dull, second-rate boarding house, but the decor suggested a different story. One end of the room was almost taken up by a frameless portrait of a dignified clergyman, who would have looked better from farther away; a beautifully painted miniature of a lady with a short waist and small, tight curls was the centerpiece of a collection of photographs above the mantelpiece; a large crayon sketch showed three sisters, ages six to sixteen, getting sentimental over a flower basket; a pair of watercolor paintings depicted a charming church and a cozy parsonage; and the domestic gallery was rounded out by two prints—one of a middle-aged county member, and the other of Chalon’s elegant matrons in watered-silk aprons. With some difficulty, Rachel read the autograph on one as J. T. Beauchamp, and on the other, the inscription, Lady Alison Beauchamp. The table cover was a tasteful silk patchwork, the vase in the center was made of red earthenware surrounded by real ivy leaves, fresh and glued down, and was filled with wildflowers; books crammed every corner. Rachel felt she was out of the much-dreaded realm of the ordinary, but she couldn't shake off her surprise at the boldness of her cousin's independent choice; and while her mother kept up polite conversation, she said to Fanny, “I never expected to see you here.”
“My aunt thought of it,” said Fanny, “and as she seems to find the children too much—”
“My aunt thought of it,” Fanny said, “and since she seems to find the kids overwhelming—”
She broke off, for Mrs. Curtis had paused to let her introduce the subject, but poor Fanny had never taken the initiative, and Rachel did it for her by explaining that all had come on the same errand, to ask if Miss Williams would undertake the lessons of her nephews; Lady Temple softly murmured under her veil something about hopes and too much trouble; an appointment was made for the following morning, and Mrs. Curtis, with a general sensation of an oppressive multitude in a small room, took her leave, and the company departed, Fanny, all the way home, hoping that the other Miss Williams would be like her sister, pitying the cripple, wishing that the sisters were in the remotest degree military, so as to obtain the respect of the hoys, and wondering what would be the Major’s opinion.
She stopped talking, since Mrs. Curtis had paused to let her bring up the topic, but poor Fanny had never been one to take the lead, and Rachel stepped in for her by explaining that everyone had come with the same request, to ask if Miss Williams would take on the lessons for her nephews. Lady Temple quietly murmured under her veil something about hopes and it being too much trouble; they set a meeting for the next morning, and Mrs. Curtis, feeling a bit overwhelmed in the small room, said her goodbyes, and everyone left. On the way home, Fanny hoped the other Miss Williams would be like her sister, felt sorry for the disabled boy, wished the sisters had any military connections to earn the boys' respect, and wondered what the Major would think.
“So many ladies!” exclaimed little Rose. “Aunt Ermine, have they made your head ache?”
“So many ladies!” exclaimed little Rose. “Aunt Ermine, have they given you a headache?”
“No, my dear, thank you, I am only tired. If you will pull out the rest for my feet, I will be quiet a little, and be ready for tea when Aunt Ailie comes.”
“No, my dear, thank you, I’m just tired. If you could move the rest out from under my feet, I’ll be quiet for a bit and be ready for tea when Aunt Ailie arrives.”
The child handily converted the chair into a couch, arranging the dress and coverings with the familiarity of long use, and by no means shocked by the contraction and helplessness of the lower limbs, to which she had been so much accustomed all her life that it never even occurred to her to pity Aunt Ermine, who never treated herself as an object of compassion. She was thanked by a tender pressure on her hair, and then saying—
The child easily turned the chair into a couch, adjusting the dress and blankets with the ease of someone who’s done it many times before, and she wasn’t at all disturbed by the tightness and inability of her lower limbs. She had been so used to it her entire life that it never crossed her mind to feel sorry for Aunt Ermine, who never saw herself as someone needing pity. She received thanks in the form of a gentle pressure on her hair, and then saying—
“Now I shall wish Augustus good night; bring Violetta home from her play in the garden, and let her drink tea, and go to bed.”
“Now I’ll wish Augustus good night; bring Violetta home from her play in the garden, let her have some tea, and then go to bed.”
Ah, Violetta, purchased with a silver groat, what was not your value in Mackarel Lane? Were you not one of its most considered inhabitants, scarcely less a child of Aunt Ermine and Aunt Alison than their Rosebud herself?
Ah, Violetta, bought for a silver coin, what was your worth in Mackarel Lane? Were you not one of its most valued residents, almost as much a child of Aunt Ermine and Aunt Alison as their own Rosebud?
Murmur, murmur, rippled the child’s happy low-toned monologue directed to her silent but sufficient playmate, and so far from disturbing the aunt, that more than one smile played on her lips at the quaint fancies, and at the well of gladness in the young spirit, which made day after day of the society of a cripple and an old doll, one constant song of bliss, one dream of bright imaginings. Surely it was an equalization of blessings that rendered little lonely Rose, motherless and well nigh fatherless, poor, with no companion but a crippled aunt, a bird and a toad, with scarcely a toy, and never a party of pleasure, one of the most joyous beings under the sun, free from occasions of childish troubles, without collisions of temper, with few contradictions, and with lessons rather pleasure than toil. Perhaps Ermine did not take into account the sunshiny content and cheerfulness that made herself a delightful companion and playfellow, able to accept the child as her solace, not her burthen.
Murmur, murmur, the child's cheerful, soft-spoken monologue flowed to her quiet but attentive playmate, and it was so soothing that it brought more than one smile to the aunt's lips at the charming ideas and the joyful spirit of youth, which turned day after day into a blissful experience with a cripple and an old doll—a constant melody of happiness, filled with bright daydreams. It was truly a balancing of blessings that allowed little lonely Rose, motherless and almost fatherless, poor, with no friend but a crippled aunt, a bird, and a toad, with hardly a toy and never a party to enjoy, to be one of the happiest beings under the sun, free from the usual childhood woes, with no temper clashes, few disagreements, and lessons that were more enjoyable than burdensome. Perhaps Ermine didn't realize that the sunny contentment and happiness that made her a wonderful companion and playmate allowed her to view the child as her comfort, not her responsibility.
Presently Rose looked up, and meeting the bright pleasant eyes, observed—“Violetta has been very good, and said all her lessons quite perfect, and she would like to sit up till her Aunt Ailie comes home. Do you think she may?”
Presently, Rose looked up and, meeting the bright, pleasant eyes, said, “Violetta has been really good and answered all her lessons perfectly. She'd like to stay up until her Aunt Ailie gets home. Do you think that's okay?”
“Will she not be tired to-morrow?”
"Will she not be tired tomorrow?"
“Oh, then she will be lazy, and not get up when she is called, till I pull all the clothes off, and that will be fun.”
“Oh, so she’ll be lazy and won’t get up when she’s called until I pull all the clothes off, and that will be fun.”
“Or she may be fretful now?”
“Or she might be restless now?”
A series of little squeaks ensued, followed by “Now, my love; that is taking a very unfair advantage of my promise. You will make your poor Aunt Ermine’s head ache, and I shall have to send you to bed.”
A series of little squeaks followed, then "Now, my love; that's taking unfair advantage of my promise. You're going to make your poor Aunt Ermine's head hurt, and I’ll have to send you to bed."
“Would not a story pass away the time?”
"Wouldn't a story help pass the time?"
“You tell it, Aunt Ermine; your stories are always the best. And let there be a fairy in it!”
“You go ahead, Aunt Ermine; your stories are always the best. And make sure there's a fairy in it!”
The fairy had nearly performed her part, when the arrival took place, and Rose darted forward to receive Aunt Ailie’s greeting kiss.
The fairy had almost finished her work when the arrival happened, and Rose hurried ahead to get Aunt Ailie’s greeting kiss.
“Yes, Rosie—yes, Violetta; what do you think I have got for you?”
“Yes, Rosie—yes, Violetta; what do you think I have for you?”
And out came a doll’s chair with a broken leg, condemned by the departing pupils, and granted with a laugh to the governess’s request to take it to her little niece; but never in its best days had the chair been so prized. It was introduced to Violetta as the reward of virtue for having controlled her fretfulness, and the repair of its infirmity was the first consideration that occupied all the three. After all, Violetta’s sitting posture was, as Alison observed, an example of the inclined plane, but that was nothing to Rose, and the seance would have been indefinitely prolonged, but for considerations for Violetta’s health.
And out came a doll’s chair with a broken leg, tossed aside by the departing students, and it was playfully given to the governess when she asked to take it to her little niece; but even at its best, the chair had never been so valued. It was introduced to Violetta as a reward for being good by not being too whiny, and fixing its leg was the first thing that occupied all three of them. After all, Violetta’s sitting position was, as Alison noted, an example of an inclined plane, but that didn’t bother Rose, and the session could have gone on forever, if not for concerns about Violetta’s health.
The sisters were alike, and Alison had, like her elder, what is emphatically called countenance, but her features were less chiselled, and her dark straight brows so nearly met that, as Rose had once remarked, they made a bridge of one arch instead of two. Six years younger, in full health, and daily battling with the world, Alison had a remarkable look of concentration and vigour, her upright bearing, clear decided speech, and glance of kindness won instant respect and reliance, but her face missed the radiant beamy brightness of her sister’s; her face was sweet and winning, but it was not habitual with her, and there was about her a look as if some terrible wave of grief or suffering had swept over her ere yet the features were fully fixed, and had thus moulded her expression for life. But playfulness was the tone that reigned around Ermine’s couch at ordinary moments, and beside her the grave Alison was lively, not with effort, but by infection.
The sisters were similar, and Alison, like her older sister, had what is often called presence, but her features were less defined, and her dark, straight brows almost met, creating what Rose had once noted as a single arch instead of two. Six years younger, full of health, and facing the world daily, Alison had a striking look of focus and energy; her straight posture, clear and assertive speech, and kind gaze earned her immediate respect and trust. However, her face lacked the bright, radiant glow of her sister’s. Alison's face was gentle and charming, but it didn't come naturally to her, and there was a look about her as if some deep sorrow or pain had washed over her before her features were fully shaped, leaving a permanent mark on her expression. Yet, playfulness was the mood that typically filled Ermine’s area, and next to her, the serious Alison became lively, not out of effort, but simply from the atmosphere.
“There,” she said, holding up a cheque; “now we’ll have a jubilee, and take you down under the East cliff, and we’ll invest a shilling in ‘Ivanhoe,’ and Rose and Violetta shall open their ears!”
"There," she said, holding up a check; "now we’ll have a celebration, and take you down under the East cliff, and we’ll put a shilling into ‘Ivanhoe,’ and Rose and Violetta will perk up their ears!"
“And you shall have a respectable Sunday mantle.”
“And you will have a proper Sunday coat.”
“Oh, I dare say Julia will send us a box.”
“Oh, I bet Julia will send us a box.”
“Then you will have to put a label on your back, ‘Second-hand!’ or her velvet will be a scandal. I can’t wear out that at home like this flagrant, flowery thing, that I saw Miss Curtis looking at as rather a disreputable article. There’s preferment for you, Ailie! What do you think of a general’s widow with six boys? She is come after you. We had a great invasion—three Curtises and this pretty little widow, and various sons!”
“Then you’ll have to wear a sign on your back that says ‘Second-hand!’ or her velvet will be a total embarrassment. I can’t wear something this flashy and flowery at home, especially since I saw Miss Curtis checking it out like it was a questionable piece. There’s your promotion, Ailie! What do you think about a general’s widow with six boys? She’s coming for you. We had a big gathering—three Curtises and this lovely little widow, plus a bunch of sons!”
“Will she stay?”
"Is she going to stay?"
“Most likely, for she is a relation of Mrs. Curtis, and comes to be near her. You are to call for inspection at eleven o’clock tomorrow, so I fear your holiday will be short.”
“Most likely, since she is related to Mrs. Curtis, and is here to be close to her. You need to come for inspection at eleven o’clock tomorrow, so I’m afraid your vacation will be brief.”
“Well, the less play the less anxiety. How many drives will the six young gentlemen be worth to you?”
“Well, the less you play, the less anxious you’ll be. How much will the six young men be worth to you?”
“I am afraid it will be at the cost of tough work to you; she looked to me too sweet a creature to have broken her sons in, but I should think she would be pleasant to deal with.”
“I’m afraid it will take a lot of hard work on your part; she seemed too sweet a person to have messed up her sons, but I think she would be nice to work with.”
“If she be like Miss Curtis, I am sure she will.”
“If she’s anything like Miss Curtis, I’m sure she will.”
“Miss Curtis? My old friend you mean. She was rather suppressed today, and I began to comprehend the reason of the shudder with which Mr. Touchett speaks of the dogmatical young lady.”
“Miss Curtis? You mean my old friend. She seemed a bit down today, and I started to understand why Mr. Touchett talks about that dogmatic young lady with such a shudder.”
“I hope she did not overwhelm you!”
“I hope she didn’t overwhelm you!”
“Oh, no! I rather liked her; she was so earnest and spirited, I could fancy enjoying a good passage at arms with her if these were old times. But I hope she will not take the direction of your school-room, though she is an admirer of the educational papers in the ‘Traveller.’”
“Oh, no! I liked her quite a bit; she was so sincere and lively, I can imagine having a fun debate with her if this were the old days. But I really hope she doesn’t go in the direction of your classroom, even though she enjoys the educational articles in the ‘Traveller.’”
And here the discussion was ended by the entrance of little Rose with the preliminaries of the evening meal, after which she went to bed, and the aunts took out books, work, and writing materials.
And here the conversation wrapped up when little Rose came in with the preparations for dinner. After that, she went to bed, and the aunts pulled out their books, crafts, and writing supplies.
Alison’s report the next day was—“Well, she is a very sweet creature. There is something indescribably touching in her voice and eyes, so soft and wistful, especially when she implores one not to be hard on those great scrambling boys of hers.”
Alison’s report the next day was—“Well, she is a really sweet person. There’s something incredibly moving about her voice and eyes, so soft and longing, especially when she asks you not to be tough on those big, rambunctious boys of hers.”
“So she is your fate?”
“So she’s your destiny?”
“Oh, yes, if there had been ten more engagements offered, I could not have helped accepting hers, even if it had not been on the best terms I have ever had.”
“Oh, yes, even if there had been ten more proposals, I couldn’t have helped but accept hers, even if it hadn’t been on the best terms I’ve ever had.”
“What?”
“IDK?”
“Seventy—for the hours between nine and five. Pretty well for a journeyman hack, is it not? Indeed, the pretty thing’s only fear seemed to be that she was requiring too much, and offering too little. No, not her only fear, for there is some major in the distance to whose approval everything must be subject—uncle or guardian, I suppose, but he seemed to be rather an object of jealousy to the younger Miss Curtis, for every hint of wishing to wait for the Major made her press on the negotiations.”
“Seventy—for the hours between nine and five. Pretty good for a journeyman hack, right? Honestly, the only thing she seemed worried about was that she was asking too much and giving too little. No, not her only worry; there’s some important figure in the background whose approval everything relies on—an uncle or guardian, I guess—but he seemed to spark jealousy in the younger Miss Curtis, because any suggestion of wanting to wait for the Major made her push the negotiations forward.”
“Seventy! I hope you will make it do, Ailie. It would be a great relief.”
“Seventy! I hope you can manage it, Ailie. That would be such a relief.”
“And spare your brains not a little. Yes, I do trust to keeping it, for Lady Temple is delightful; and as to the boys, I fancy it is only taming they want. The danger is, as Miss Rachel told me, whether she can bear the sight of the process. I imagine Miss Rachel herself has tried it, and failed.”
“And don't hold back your thoughts at all. Yes, I really believe I can manage it, because Lady Temple is wonderful; and regarding the boys, I think they just need some discipline. The risk is, as Miss Rachel mentioned to me, whether she can handle watching it happen. I suspect Miss Rachel herself has attempted it, and didn’t succeed.”
“Part amateur work,” said Ermine, smiling. “It really is lucky you had to turn governess, Ailie, or there would have been a talent thrown away.”
“Part amateur work,” Ermine said with a smile. “It’s really lucky you had to become a governess, Ailie, or that talent would have been wasted.”
“Stay till I have tried,” said Alison, who had, however, had experience enough not to be much alarmed at the prospect. Order was wont to come with her presence, and she hardly knew the aspect of tumultuous idleness or insubordination to unenforced authority; for her eye and voice in themselves brought cheerful discipline without constraint, and upheld by few punishments, for the strong influence took away the spirit of rebellion.
"Stay until I've had a chance to try," said Alison, who, despite everything, wasn't too worried about what might happen. She was used to bringing order wherever she went, and she hardly recognized the chaos of aimless behavior or defiance against unforced authority; her presence alone brought a lively sense of discipline without being strict, and she rarely needed to impose punishments since her strong influence discouraged any rebellious spirit.
After her first morning’s work she came home full of good auguries; the boys had been very pleasant with her after the first ten minutes, and Conrade had gained her heart by his attention to his mother. He had, however, examined her minutely whether she had any connexion with the army, and looked grave on her disavowal of any relationship with soldiers; Hubert adding, “You see, Aunt Rachel is only a civilian, and she hasn’t any sense at all.” And when Francis had been reduced to the much disliked process of spelling unknown words, he had muttered under his breath, “She was only a civilian.” To which she had rejoined that “At least she knew thus much, that the first military duty was obedience,” and Francis’s instant submission proved that she had made a good shot. Of the Major she had heard much more. Everything was referred to him, both by mother and children, and Alison was the more puzzled as to his exact connexion with them. “I sometimes suspect,” she said, “that he may have felt the influence of those winsome brown eyes and caressing manner, as I know I should if I were a man. I wonder how long the old general has been dead? No, Ermine, you need not shake your head at me. I don’t mean even to let Miss Curtis tell me if she would. I know confidences from partisan relations are the most mischief-making things in the world.”
After her first morning of work, she came home feeling optimistic; the boys were quite pleasant with her after the first ten minutes, and Conrade won her over with his kindness to his mother. However, he had closely questioned her about any connection to the army and looked serious when she said she had no ties to soldiers; Hubert chimed in, “You see, Aunt Rachel is just a civilian, and she doesn’t have a clue.” And when Francis was stuck doing the much-hated task of spelling unfamiliar words, he muttered, “She was just a civilian.” To this, she replied, “At least I know this much: the first military duty is obedience,” and Francis’s quick compliance showed that she hit the mark. She had heard much more about the Major. Everything was tied back to him, both by the mother and the children, and Alison was even more confused about his exact connection to them. “Sometimes I suspect,” she said, “that he might have been influenced by those charming brown eyes and gentle demeanor, as I know I would if I were a man. I wonder how long the old general has been gone? No, Ermine, you don’t need to shake your head at me. I don’t even intend to let Miss Curtis tell me if she would. I know that secrets shared by relatives can cause all sorts of trouble.”
In pursuance of this principle Alison, or Miss Williams, as she was called in her vocation, was always reserved and discreet, and though ready to talk in due measure, Rachel always felt that it was the upper, not the under current that was proffered. The brow and eyes, the whole spirit of the face, betokened reflection and acuteness, and Rachel wanted to attain to her opinions; but beyond a certain depth there was no reaching. Her ways of thinking, her views of the children’s characters, her estimate of Mr. Touchett—nay, even her tastes as to the Invalid’s letters in the “Traveller’s Review,” remained only partially revealed, in spite of Rachel’s best efforts at fishing, and attempting to set the example.
In line with this principle, Alison, or Miss Williams as she was known in her profession, was always reserved and discreet. While she was open to conversation in moderation, Rachel sensed that it was the surface, not the deeper thoughts, that were shared. The expression on her face—her brow, eyes, and overall demeanor—showed thoughtfulness and sharpness, and Rachel wanted to understand her opinions. However, beyond a certain point, she couldn't reach them. Alison's way of thinking, her views on the children's personalities, her assessment of Mr. Touchett—indeed, even her preferences regarding the Invalid's letters in the "Traveller's Review"—remained only partially disclosed, despite Rachel's best attempts to draw her out and lead by example.
“It really seemed,” as she observed to Grace, “as if the more I talk, the less she says.” At which Grace gave way to a small short laugh, though she owned the force of Rachel’s maxim, that to bestow confidence was the way to provoke it; and forbore to refer to a certain delightful afternoon that Rachel, in her childhood, had spent alone with a little girl whom she had never discovered to be deaf and dumb. Still Rachel had never been able to make out why Grace, with no theories at all, got so many more confidences than she did. She was fully aware of her sister’s superior attractiveness to common-place people, and made her welcome to stand first with the chief of their kindred, and most of the clergy and young ladies around. But it was hard that where Rachel really liked and met half-way, the intimate confidence should always be bestowed upon Grace, or even the mother. She had yet to learn that the way to draw out a snail is not to, grasp its horns, and that halfway meeting is not to launch one’s self to the opposite starting point. Either her inquiries were too point blank to invite detailed replies, or her own communications absorbed her too much to leave room for a return. Thus she told Miss Williams the whole story of the thrush’s nest, and all her own reflections upon the characteristics it betokened; and only afterwards, on thinking over the conversation, perceived that she had elicited nothing but that it was very difficult to judge in such cases, not even any decided assent to her own demonstrations. It was true that riots and breaches of the peace ceased while Miss Williams was in the house, and learning and good manners were being fast acquired; but until Conrade’s duplicity should be detected, or the whole disposition of the family discussed with herself, Rachel doubted the powers of the instructress. It was true that Fanny was very happy with her, and only regretted that the uncertainty of the Major’s whereabouts precluded his being informed of the newly-found treasure; but Fanny was sure to be satisfied as long as her boys were happy and not very naughty, and she cared very little about people’s minds.
“It really seemed,” she said to Grace, “like the more I talk, the less she says.” Grace let out a short laugh, even though she understood Rachel's point—that encouraging someone to open up often provokes them to share more. She avoided mentioning the lovely afternoon in Rachel's childhood when she spent time with a little girl she never realized was deaf and mute. Still, Rachel couldn’t figure out why Grace, with no theories at all, received way more confidences than she did. She knew her sister was more attractive to ordinary people, and welcomed her place at the top of their social circle, alongside most of the clergy and young women nearby. But it was frustrating that where Rachel genuinely liked and engaged with others, the close confidences always went to Grace or even to their mother. She had yet to learn that coaxing a snail out isn't about grabbing its horns, and that meeting someone halfway doesn’t mean launching yourself to the opposite end of the spectrum. Either her questions were too direct to invite detailed responses, or her own stories consumed her attention too much to leave space for replies. For instance, she told Miss Williams the whole tale of the thrush’s nest and all her thoughts on its traits; only later, reflecting on the conversation, did she realize she had gotten nothing more than that it was tough to judge in such situations, not even a clear agreement with her own observations. It was true that disturbances and conflicts faded while Miss Williams was present, and learning and good behavior were being cultivated; but until Conrade’s deceit was uncovered, or the family's dynamics were discussed with Rachel, she questioned the abilities of the instructor. It was also true that Fanny was really happy with her and only wished that the uncertainty about the Major’s whereabouts didn’t prevent him from hearing about the new treasure; but Fanny was bound to be satisfied as long as her children were happy and not too mischievous, and she cared little about people's thoughts.
If any one did “get on” with the governess it was Grace, who had been the first acquaintance in the family, and met her often in the service of the parish, as well as in her official character at the Homestead. It so chanced that one Sunday afternoon they found themselves simultaneously at the door of the school-house, whence issued not the customary hum, but loud sounds of singing.
If anyone really got along with the governess, it was Grace, who was the first person in the family to know her and would often see her while serving in the parish, as well as in her official role at the Homestead. One Sunday afternoon, it just so happened that they both arrived at the schoolhouse door at the same time, where instead of the usual buzz, they heard loud singing coming from inside.
“Ah!” said Grace, “Mr. Touchett was talking of getting the choir master from Avoncester, and giving up an afternoon to practice for Easter, but he never told me it was to be to-day.”
“Ah!” said Grace, “Mr. Touchett was talking about bringing the choir master from Avoncester and dedicating an afternoon to practice for Easter, but he never mentioned it was going to be today.”
On inquiry, it appeared that notice had been given in the morning, but not till after Miss Williams had gone home to fetch her little niece, and while Rachel was teaching her boys in the class-room out of hearing. It was one of the little bits of bad management that were sure to happen wherever poor Mr. Touchett was concerned; and both ladies feeling it easy to overlook for themselves, were thankful that it had not befallen Rachel. Alison Williams, thinking it far to walk either to the Homestead or Myrtlewood before church, proposed to Grace to come home with her, an offer that was thankfully accepted, with merely the scruple whether she should disturb the invalid.
When they asked, it turned out that the notice had been given in the morning, but not until after Miss Williams had gone home to get her little niece, and while Rachel was teaching her boys in the classroom, out of earshot. It was one of those little instances of poor management that always seemed to happen whenever poor Mr. Touchett was involved; and both ladies, finding it easy to overlook it themselves, were grateful it hadn’t affected Rachel. Alison Williams, thinking it was too far to walk to either the Homestead or Myrtlewood before church, suggested to Grace that she come home with her, an offer that was gladly accepted, with just a small worry about whether she would disturb the invalid.
“Oh, no, it would be a great pleasure; I always wish we could get more change and variety for her on Sunday.”
“Oh, no, it would be a great pleasure; I always wish we could get more change and variety for her on Sunday.”
“She is very self-denying to spare you to the school.”
“She sacrifices a lot to help you get to school.”
“I have often wished to give it up, but she never will let me. She says it is one of the few things we can do, and I see besides that it brings her fresh interests. She knows about all my class, and works for them, and has them to see her; and I am sure it is better for her, though it leaves her more hours alone with Rose.”
"I've often wanted to quit, but she won't let me. She says it's one of the few things we can do, and I also see that it brings her new interests. She knows all about my class, works for them, and has them come see her; and I'm sure it's better for her, even though it means she spends more hours alone with Rose."
“And the Sunday services are too long for her?”
“And the Sunday services are too long for her?”
“Not so much that, as that she cannot sit on those narrow benches unless two are put close together so that she can almost lie, and there is not room for her chair in the aisle on a Sunday. It is the greatest deprivation of all.”
“Not so much that, but she can't sit on those narrow benches unless two are placed close together so she can almost lie down, and there's no room for her chair in the aisle on a Sunday. It's the biggest loss of all.”
“It is so sad, and she is so patient and so energetic,” said Grace, using her favourite monosyllable in peace, out of Rachel’s hearing.
“It’s so sad, and she’s so patient and so energetic,” Grace said, using her favorite word in silence, away from Rachel’s hearing.
“You would say so, indeed, if you really knew her, or how she has found strength and courage for me through all the terrible sutfering.”
“You would say that for sure if you really knew her or understood how she has found strength and courage for me through all the terrible suffering.”
“Then does she suffer so much?”
“Then does she suffer that much?”
“Oh, no, not now! That was in the first years.”
“Oh, no, not now! That was in the early years.”
“It was not always so.”
"Things weren't always like this."
“No, indeed! You thought it deformity! Oh, no, no! she was so beautiful.”
“No way! You thought it was ugly? Oh no, not at all! She was so beautiful.”
“That she is still. I never saw my sister so much struck with any one. There is something so striking in her bright glance out of those clear eyes.”
"She's really still. I've never seen my sister so affected by anyone. There's something so captivating in her bright gaze from those clear eyes."
“Ah! if you had only seen her bloom before—”
“Ah! if you had just seen her blossom before—”
“The accident?”
"The crash?"
“I burnt her,” said Alison, almost inaudibly.
“I burned her,” said Alison, barely above a whisper.
“You! you, poor dear! How dreadful for you.”
“You! You, poor thing! That must be terrible for you.”
“Yes, I burnt her,” said Alison, more steadily. “You ought not to be kind to me without knowing about it. It was an accident of course, but it was a fit of petulance. I threw a match without looking where it was going.”
“Yes, I burned her,” Alison said more calmly. “You shouldn’t be nice to me without knowing the whole story. It was an accident, of course, but it was also a moment of childishness. I tossed a match without paying attention to where it landed.”
“It must have been when you were very young.”
“It must have been when you were really young.”
“Fourteen. I was in a naughty fit at her refusing to go to the great musical meeting with us. We always used to go to stay at one of the canon’s houses for it, a house where one was dull and shy; and I could not bear going without her, nor understand the reason.”
“Fourteen. I was really upset with her for refusing to go to the big musical meeting with us. We always used to stay at one of the canon’s houses for it, a place that was boring and awkward; I couldn’t stand going without her and I didn’t understand why.”
“And was there a reason?”
"Was there a reason?"
“Yes, poor dear Ermine. She knew he meant to come there to meet her, and she thought it would not be right; because his father had objected so strongly, and made him exchange into a regiment on foreign service.”
“Yes, poor dear Ermine. She knew he intended to come there to meet her, and she felt it wouldn't be appropriate; because his father had strongly opposed it and forced him to transfer to a regiment on foreign service.”
“And you did not know this?”
"And you didn't know that?"
“No, I was away all the time it was going on, with my eldest sister, having masters in London. I did not come home till it was all over, and then I could not understand what was the matter with the house, or why Ermine was unlike herself, and papa restless and anxious about her. They thought me too young to be told, and the atmosphere made me cross and fretful, and papa was displeased with me, and Ermine tried in vain to make me good; poor patient Ermine, even then the chief sufferer!”
“No, I was away the whole time it was happening, with my oldest sister, studying in London. I didn't come home until it was all over, and when I got back, I couldn't figure out what was wrong with the house, or why Ermine was acting differently, while Dad was restless and worried about her. They thought I was too young to be told, and the tension made me irritable and moody, and Dad was upset with me, while Ermine tried unsuccessfully to calm me down; poor patient Ermine, even then the one really suffering!”
“I can quite imagine the discomfort and fret of being in ignorance all the time.”
“I can totally imagine how uncomfortable and anxious it must be to be in the dark all the time.”
“Dear Ermine says she longed to tell me, but she had been forbidden, and she went on blaming herself and trying to make me enjoy my holidays as usual, till this dreadful day, when I had worried her intolerably about going to this music meeting, and she found reasoning only made me worse. She still wrote her note of refusal, and asked me to light the taper; I dashed down the match in a frenzy of temper and—”
“Dear Ermine says she really wanted to tell me, but she had been told not to, and she kept blaming herself while trying to help me enjoy my holidays like normal, until this terrible day when I had stressed her out endlessly about going to this music meeting, and she realized that reasoning with me only made things worse. She still wrote her note of refusal and asked me to light the candle; I threw down the match in a fit of anger and—”
She paused for breath, and Grace squeezed her hand.
She paused to catch her breath, and Grace squeezed her hand.
“We did not see it at first, and then she threw herself down and ordered me not to come near. Every one was there directly, I believe, but it burst out again and again, and was not put out till they all thought she had not an hour to live. There was no pain, and there she lay, all calmness, comforting us all, and making papa and Edward promise to forgive me—me, who only wished they would kill me! And the next day he came; he was just going to sail, and they thought nothing would hurt her then. I saw him while he was waiting, and never did I see such a fixed deathly face. But they said she found words to cheer and soothe him.”
“We didn't notice it at first, and then she collapsed and told me to stay away. Everyone rushed over immediately, I think, but it kept happening over and over, and it didn't stop until they all believed she had less than an hour to live. There was no pain, and she lay there, completely calm, comforting all of us and getting Dad and Edward to promise to forgive me—me, who only wished they would just end my life! The next day he came; he was about to set off, and they thought nothing could harm her then. I saw him while he was waiting, and I've never seen such a pale, lifeless expression. But they said she managed to find words to lift his spirits and calm him.”
“And what became of him?”
“And what happened to him?”
“We do not know. As long as Lady Alison lived (his aunt) she let us hear about him, and we knew he was recovering from his wound. Then came her death, and then my father’s, and all the rest, and we lost sight of the Beauchamps. We saw the name in the Gazette as killed at Lucknow, but not the right Christian name nor the same rank; but then, though the regiment is come home, we have heard nothing of him, and though she has never spoken of him to me, I am sure Ermine believes he is dead, and thinks of him as part of the sunshine of the old Beauchamp days—the sunshine whose reflection lasts one’s life.”
“We don’t know. As long as Lady Alison was alive (his aunt), she kept us updated about him, and we knew he was recovering from his injury. Then she passed away, and shortly after that, my father did too, along with everything else, and we lost track of the Beauchamps. We saw the name in the Gazette listed as killed at Lucknow, but it wasn’t the right first name or rank; even though the regiment has returned home, we haven’t heard anything about him. And although she never mentioned him to me, I’m sure Ermine believes he’s dead and thinks of him as a part of the golden days of the Beauchamps—the kind of sunshine whose memory lasts a lifetime.”
“He ought to be dead,” said Grace.
“He should be dead,” said Grace.
“Yes, it would be better for her than to hear anything else of him! He had nothing of his own, so there would have been a long waiting, but his father and brother would not hear of it, and accused us of entrapping him, and that angered my father. For our family is quite good, and we were very well off then. My father had a good private fortune besides the Rectory at Beauchamp; and Lady Alison, who had been like a mother to us ever since our own died, quite thought that the prospect was good enough, and I believe got into a great scrape with her family for having promoted the affair.”
“Yes, it would be better for her than to hear anything else about him! He had nothing to his name, so there would’ve been a long wait, but his father and brother wouldn’t hear of it and accused us of trapping him, which made my dad angry. Our family is quite respectable, and we were doing very well at that time. My father had a solid private income in addition to the Rectory at Beauchamp; and Lady Alison, who had been like a mother to us since our own passed away, thought the situation was promising enough, and I believe she got into quite a bit of trouble with her family for promoting the relationship.”
“Your squire’s wife?”
"Your squire's partner?"
“Yes, and Julia and Ermine had come every day to learn lessons with her daughters. I was too young; but as long as she lived we were all like one family. How kind she was! How she helped us through those frightful weeks!”
“Yes, Julia and Ermine came over every day to have lessons with her daughters. I was too young, but as long as she was alive, we were all like one big family. She was so kind! She really helped us through those terrible weeks!”
“Of your sister’s illness? It must have lasted long?”
“About your sister’s illness? It must have gone on for a while?”
“Long? Oh longer than long! No one thought of her living. The doctors said the injury was too extensive to leave any power of rallying; but she was young and strong, and did not die in the torture, though people said that such an existence as remained to her was not worth the anguish of struggling back to it. I think my father only prayed that she might suffer less, and Julia stayed on and on, thinking each day would be the last, till Dr. Long could not spare her any longer; and then Lady Alison nursed her night after night and day after day, till she had worn herself into an illness, and when the doctors spoke of improvement, we only perceived worse agony. It was eight months before she was even lifted up in bed, and it was years before the burns ceased to be painful or the constitution at all recovered the shock; and even now weather tells on her, though since we have lived here she has been far better than I ever dared to hope.”
“Long? Oh, longer than long! No one thought she would survive. The doctors said the injury was too severe for her to recover, but she was young and strong, and she didn't die in the pain, even though people said that the life she had left wasn't worth the suffering of trying to return to it. I think my father only prayed that she would suffer less, and Julia kept hanging on, thinking each day would be her last, until Dr. Long couldn’t keep her around any longer; then Lady Alison took care of her night after night and day after day, until she wore herself out and got sick, and when the doctors talked about improvement, we only saw more agony. It took eight months before she could even be lifted in bed, and it was years before the burns stopped being painful or her body fully recovered from the shock; and even now the weather affects her, though since we've lived here she has been doing much better than I ever dared to hope.”
“Then you consider her still recovering?”
“Are you saying she's still recovering?”
“In general health she is certainly greatly restored, and has strength to attempt more, but the actual injury, the contraction, can never be better than now. When we lived at Richmond she had constantly the best advice, and we were told that nothing more could be hoped for.”
“In general health, she is definitely much improved and has the strength to try more, but the actual injury, the contraction, can never be better than it is now. When we lived in Richmond, she consistently received the best advice, and we were told that nothing more could be expected.”
“I wonder more and more at her high spirits. I suppose that was what chiefly helped to carry her through?”
“I keep wondering about her cheerful mood. I guess that’s what really helped her get through it?”
“I have seen a good many people,” said Alison, pausing, “but I never did see any one so happy! Others are always wanting something; she never is. Every enjoyment seems to be tenfold to her what it is to other people; she sees the hopeful side of every sorrow. No burthen is a burthen when one has carried it to her.”
“I’ve met a lot of people,” Alison said, pausing, “but I’ve never seen anyone so happy! Others are always wanting something; she never is. Every joy seems to be ten times more to her than it is to anyone else; she sees the bright side of every sadness. No burden feels like a burden when you share it with her.”
As Alison spoke, she pushed open the narrow green door of the little lodging-house, and there issued a weak, sweet sound of voices: “The strain upraise of joy and praise.” It was the same that had met their ears at the school-door, but the want of body in the voices was fully compensated by the heartfelt ring, as if here indeed was praise, not practice.
As Alison spoke, she pushed open the narrow green door of the small lodging house, and a soft, sweet sound of voices emerged: “The strain upraise of joy and praise.” It was the same melody they had heard at the school door, but the lack of depth in the voices was more than made up for by the genuine emotion behind it, as if this was truly praise, not just practice.
“Aunt Ailie! O Aunt Ailie!” cried the child, as the room-door opened and showed the little choir, consisting of herself, her aunt, and the small maid of the house, “you should not have come, you were not to hear us till Trinity Sunday.”
“Aunt Ailie! Oh Aunt Ailie!” cried the child as the door opened to reveal the small choir, which included herself, her aunt, and the little maid of the house. “You shouldn’t have come; you weren’t supposed to hear us until Trinity Sunday.”
Explanations were given, and Miss Curtis was welcomed, but Alison, still too much moved for ordinary conversation, slipped into the bedroom adjoining, followed by her sister’s quick and anxious eye, and half-uttered inquiry.
Explanations were provided, and Miss Curtis received a warm welcome, but Alison, still too emotional for normal conversation, slipped into the adjoining bedroom, with her sister watching closely and anxiously, half-asking a question.
“I am afraid it is my fault,” said Grace; “she has been telling me about your accident.”
“I’m afraid it’s my fault,” Grace said; “she’s been telling me about your accident.”
“Poor Ailie,” said Ermine, “she never will receive kindness without having that unlucky story out! It is just one of the things that get so cruelly exaggerated by consequences. It was one moment’s petulance that might have caused a fright and been forgotten ever after, but for those chemicals. Ah! I see, she said nothing about them, because they were Edward’s. They were some parcels for his experiments, gun cotton and the like, which were lying in the window till he had time to take them upstairs. We had all been so long threatened with being blown up by his experiments that we had grown callous and careless, and it served us right!” she added, stroking the child’s face as it looked at her, earnest to glean fresh fragments of the terrible half-known tale of the past. “Yes, Rosie, when you go and keep house for papa on the top of the Oural Mountains, or wherever it may be, you are to remember that if Aunt Ermine had not been in a foolish, inattentive mood, and had taken his dangerous goods out of the way, she might have been trotting to church now like other people. But poor Ailie has always helped herself to the whole blame, and if every childish fit of temper were the root of such qualities, what a world we should have here!”
“Poor Ailie,” said Ermine, “she'll never receive kindness without that unfortunate story coming out! It's just one of those things that gets cruelly exaggerated by the consequences. It was just a moment of irritation that could have caused a scare and been forgotten, if not for those chemicals. Ah! I see, she didn't mention them because they belonged to Edward. They were some packages for his experiments, like gun cotton and such, that were sitting in the window until he had time to take them upstairs. We had all been so long warned about getting blown up by his experiments that we became numb and careless, and we deserved it!” she added, gently stroking the child’s face as it looked at her, eager to learn bits of the terrible half-known story from the past. “Yes, Rosie, when you go and take care of papa on top of the Ural Mountains, or wherever it may be, remember that if Aunt Ermine hadn’t been in a silly, distracted mood and had moved his dangerous stuff out of the way, she might have been going to church now like everyone else. But poor Ailie has always taken all the blame, and if every childish tantrum were the cause of such things, what a world we’d live in!”
“Ah! no wonder she is devoted to you.”
“Ah! no wonder she is so dedicated to you.”
“The child was not fifteen, had never known cross or care, but from that moment she never was out of my room if it was possible to be in; and when nurse after nurse was fairly worn out, because I could not help being so distressing, there was always that poor child, always handy and helpful, growing to be the chief dependence, and looking so piteously imploring whatever was tried, that it really helped me to go through with it. Poor Ailie,” she added with an odd turn of playfulness, “I always fancied those frowns of anxiety made her eyebrows grow together. And ever since we came here, we know how she has worked away for her old cinder and her small Rosebud, don’t we?” she added, playfully squeezing the child’s cheeks up into a more budding look, hiding deeper and more overcoming feelings by the sportive action. And as her sister came back, she looked up and shook her head at her, saying,—
“The child was not yet fifteen, had never experienced struggle or worry, but from that moment on, she was always in my room whenever she could be. When nurse after nurse was completely exhausted because I couldn’t help being so distressing, there was always that poor child, always nearby and ready to help. She became my main support and looked so pitifully eager for whatever was attempted that it really helped me get through it. Poor Ailie,” she added with a strange hint of playfulness, “I always thought those worried frowns made her eyebrows grow together. And ever since we arrived here, we know how hard she has worked for her old cinder and her little Rosebud, don’t we?” she said, playfully pinching the child’s cheeks to make her look cuter, masking deeper and more overwhelming feelings with that playful gesture. And as her sister returned, she looked up and shook her head at her, saying,—
“You gossiping Ailie, to go ripping up old grievances. I am going to ask Miss Curtis not to let the story go any farther, now you have relieved your mind of it.”
“You're such a gossip, Ailie, bringing up old issues. I'm going to ask Miss Curtis not to let this story spread any further now that you've gotten it off your chest.”
“I did tell Lady Temple,” said Alison; “I never think it right not to let people know what sort of person they have to teach their children.”
“I did tell Lady Temple,” said Alison; “I never think it’s right not to let people know what kind of person they have to teach their kids.”
And Grace, on feeling her way, discovered that Lady Temple had been told the bare fact in Miss Williams’s reserved and business-like manner, but with nothing of the affair that had led to it. She merely looked on it in the manner fully expressed by—“Ah, poor thing; how sad for her!” as a shocking secret, never to be talked of or thought about. And that voluntary detailed relation from Alison could only be regarded as drawn forth by Grace’s own individual power of winning confidence, and the friendliness that had so long subsisted between them. Nor indeed was the reserve regarding the cause of the present reduced circumstances of the sisters at all lessened; it was only known that their brother had ruined them by a fraudulent speculation, and had then fled to the Continent, leaving them burthened with the maintenance of his child, but that they refused to believe in his guilt, and had thus incurred the displeasure of other relatives and friends. Alison was utterly silent about him. Ermine seemed to have a tender pleasure in bringing in a reference to his ways as if all were well, and it were a matter of course to speak of “Edward;” but it was plain that Ermine’s was an outspoken nature. This might, however, be only because the one had been a guarded, sheltered invalid, while the other had gone forth among strangers to battle for a livelihood, and moreover, the elder sister had been fully grown and developed before the shock which had come on the still unformed Alison.
And Grace, while figuring things out, realized that Lady Temple had only been told the basic fact in Miss Williams’s cool and professional way, without any details about what had led to it. Lady Temple seemed to regard it simply as—“Ah, poor thing; how sad for her!”—as a shocking secret that shouldn’t be discussed or thought about. Alison’s detailed account could only be seen as coming from Grace’s unique ability to inspire trust and the long-standing friendship they shared. The secrecy surrounding the reason for the sisters' current difficult situation remained intact; it was only known that their brother had ruined them through a fraudulent scheme and then fled to the Continent, leaving them stuck with the responsibility of his child. They refused to believe in his wrongdoing, which had upset other relatives and friends. Alison never spoke about him. Ermine seemed to take pleasure in casually mentioning his behavior as if everything were fine, treating it as normal to talk about “Edward,” but it was clear that Ermine was more open by nature. This might be because one had been a protected, sheltered invalid, while the other had had to go out among strangers to earn a living. Additionally, the older sister had been fully matured before the shock hit the still developing Alison.
At any rate, nobody but Grace “got on” with the governess, while the invalid made friends with all who visited her, and most signally with Rachel, who, ere long, esteemed her environment a good work, worthy of herself. The charity of sitting with a twaddling, muffatee-knitting old lady was indisputable, but it was perfectly within Grace’s capacity; and Rachel believed herself to be far more capable of entertaining the sick Miss Williams, nor was she mistaken. When excited or interested, most people thought her oppressive; but Ermine Williams, except when unwell, did not find her so, and even then a sharp debate was sometimes a cure for the nervous ailments induced by the monotony of her life. They seemed to have a sort of natural desire to rub their minds one against the other, and Rachel could not rest without Miss Williams’s opinion of all that interested her—paper, essay, book, or event; but often, when expecting to confer a favour by the loan, she found that what was new to her was already well known in that little parlour, and even the authorship no mystery. Ermine explained this by her correspondence with literary friends of her brother’s, and country-bred Rachel, to whom literature was still an oracle unconnected with living agencies, listened, yes, absolutely listened to her anecdotes of sayings and doings, far more like clever memoirs than the experiences of the banks of the Avon. Perhaps there was this immediate disadvantage, that hearing of a more intellectual tone of society tended to make Rachel less tolerant of that which surrounded her, and especially of Mr. Touchett. It was droll that, having so long shunned the two sisters under the impression that they were his protegees and worshippers, she found that Ermine’s point of view was quite the rectorial one, and that to venerate the man for his office sake was nearly as hard to Ermine as to herself, though the office was more esteemed.
At any rate, nobody but Grace connected with the governess, while the sick woman made friends with everyone who visited her, most notably with Rachel, who soon considered her surroundings a worthwhile cause. The act of sitting with a chatty, knitting old lady was undeniably charitable, but it was well within Grace’s abilities; and Rachel believed she was much better at entertaining the ill Miss Williams, which she wasn’t wrong about. When Rachel was excited or interested, many people found her overwhelming; however, Ermine Williams, except when she was sick, didn’t feel that way, and even then, a lively debate sometimes helped ease the nerves caused by the monotony of her life. They seemed to have a natural urge to challenge each other's thoughts, and Rachel couldn’t relax without knowing Miss Williams’s take on everything that caught her interest—be it an article, an essay, a book, or an event. However, often expecting to do a favor by sharing something new, she discovered that what was fresh to her was already well-known in that little living room, and the authorship wasn’t a mystery either. Ermine explained this by mentioning her correspondence with her brother's literary friends, and country-raised Rachel, for whom literature was still a mysterious oracle separate from real-life interactions, listened intently to her stories about quotes and events, which felt more like clever memoirs than experiences from the banks of the Avon. Perhaps the immediate downside was that hearing about a more intellectual social scene made Rachel less tolerant of her own surroundings, especially when it came to Mr. Touchett. It was amusing that after avoiding the two sisters for so long under the impression that they were his admirers, she found that Ermine’s perspective was more rector-like, and that respecting the man for his position was almost as difficult for Ermine as it was for Rachel, despite the position being more respected.
Alison, the reserved, had held her tongue on his antecedents; but Ermine was drawn into explaining that his father had been a minor canon, who had eked out his means with a combination of chaplaincies and parts of curacies, and by teaching at the school where his son was educated. Indignant at the hack estimation in which his father had been held, the son, far more justly viewing both the dignity and duty of his office, was resolved to be respected; but bred up in second rate society, had neither weight, talent, nor manners to veil his aggressive self-assertion, and he was at this time especially trying to the Curtises.
Alison, being reserved, had kept quiet about his background; but Ermine ended up explaining that his father had been a minor canon, scraping by with a mix of chaplaincies and parts of curacies, while also teaching at the school where his son was educated. Upset by the low regard in which his father had been held, the son, who viewed the dignity and duty of his office more fairly, was determined to earn respect; however, raised in a lower-class society, he lacked the weight, talent, and manners to hide his brash self-assertiveness, making him especially difficult for the Curtises to tolerate at that time.
Cathedral music had been too natural to him for the endurance of an unchoral service, and the prime labour of his life was to work up his choir; but he was musical by education rather than nature, and having begun his career with such mortal offence to the native fiddlers and singers as to impel them into the arms of dissent, he could only supply the loss from the school by his own voice, of which he was not chary, though using it with better will than taste. The staple of his choir were Rachel’s scholars. Her turn had always been for boys, and her class on Sunday mornings and two evenings in the week had long been in operation before the reign of Mr. Touchett. Then two lads, whose paternal fiddles had seceded to the Plymouth Brethren, were suspended from all advantages by the curate, and Rachel was with difficulty withheld from an explosion; but even this was less annoying than the summons at the class-room door every Sunday morning, that, in the midst of her lesson, carried off the chief of her scholars to practise their chants. Moreover, the blame of all imperfect lessons was laid on the “singing for the parson,” and all faults in the singing by the tasks for Miss Rachel; and one night, the excellent Zack excused his failure in geography by saying that Mr. Touchett had thrown away his book, and said that it was no better than sacrilege, omitting, however, to mention that he had been caught studying it under his surplice during the lessons.
Cathedral music had always felt too natural for him to handle a service without choir, and his main focus in life was to build up his choir. However, he was musical due to education rather than natural talent, and having started his career with actions that offended the local musicians and singers, he pushed them towards dissent, leaving him to make up for the loss from school with his own voice, which he used generously, even if with more enthusiasm than skill. The core of his choir consisted of Rachel’s students. She had always preferred working with boys, and her class on Sunday mornings and two evenings a week had been running long before Mr. Touchett came along. Then two boys, whose fathers had abandoned their fiddles for the Plymouth Brethren, were cut off from all benefits by the curate, and Rachel had to be restrained from an outburst; but even that was less frustrating than the interruptions every Sunday morning when her main students were taken away to practice their chants in the middle of her lessons. Moreover, any shortcomings in their lessons were blamed on “singing for the parson,” and all singing faults were attributed to Miss Rachel’s tasks; one night, the great Zack justified his poor performance in geography by saying Mr. Touchett had tossed his book aside, claiming it was just sacrilege, conveniently leaving out the part where he had been caught studying it under his surplice during lessons.
At last, with his usual fatality, the curate fixed the grand practice for the Saturday evenings that were Rachel’s great days for instruction in the three R’s, and for a sort of popular lecture. Cricket was to succeed the singing, and novelty carried the day, but only by the desertion of her scholars did Rachel learn the new arrangement, and she could hardly credit the assertion that the curate was not aware that it was her day. In fact, it was the only one when the fisher lads were sure not to be at sea, and neither party would yield it. Mr. Touchett was determined not to truckle to dictation from the great house; so when Rachel declared she would have nothing to do with the boys unless the Saturdays were conceded to her, he owned that he thought the clergyman had the first right to his lads, and had only not claimed them before out of deference for the feelings of a well-meaning parishioner.
At last, as was his usual pattern, the curate scheduled the big practice for Saturday evenings, which were Rachel's prime days for teaching the basics and holding a sort of community lecture. Cricket was set to follow the singing, and the excitement of something new won out, but Rachel only learned about this change when her students abandoned her. She could hardly believe that the curate didn't realize it was her day. In fact, it was the one time when the local fishing boys were definitely not at sea, and neither side was willing to give it up. Mr. Touchett was set on not bowing to pressure from the big house, so when Rachel insisted she wouldn't work with the boys unless she got Saturday evenings, he admitted that he believed the clergyman had the primary claim to his students and had only refrained from taking them before out of respect for the feelings of a well-meaning parishioner.
Both parties poured out their grievances to the same auditor, for Mr. Touchett regarded Ermine Williams as partly clerical, and Rachel could never be easy without her sympathy. To hear was not, however, to make peace, while each side was so sore, so conscious of the merits of its own case, so blind to those of the other. One deemed praise in its highest form the prime object of his ministry; the other found the performance indevotional, and raved that education should be sacrificed to wretched music. But that the dissension was sad and mischievous, it would have been very diverting; they were both so young in their incapacity of making allowances, their certainty that theirs was the theory to bring in the golden age, and even in their magnanimity of forgiveness, and all the time they thought themselves so very old. “I am resigned to disappointments; I have seen something of life.”—“You forget, Miss Williams, that my ministerial experience is not very recent.”
Both parties expressed their complaints to the same auditor, since Mr. Touchett saw Ermine Williams as somewhat administrative, and Rachel couldn’t relax without her support. However, just listening didn’t bring peace, as each side felt hurt, convinced of the validity of their own position, and blind to the other’s perspective. One thought that the highest form of praise was the main goal of his ministry; the other found the performance lacking in devotion and claimed that education should not be sacrificed for terrible music. If the disagreement hadn’t been so sad and harmful, it would have been pretty amusing; they were both so young in their inability to make allowances, so sure that their ideas would usher in a golden age, and even in their lofty hopes of forgiveness, they thought of themselves as quite mature. “I’ve come to terms with disappointments; I’ve experienced life.” — “You forget, Miss Williams, that my experience in ministry isn’t very recent.”
There was one who would have smoothed matters far better than any, who, like Ermine, took her weapons from the armoury of good sense; but that person was entirely unconscious how the incumbent regarded her soft eyes, meek pensiveness, motherly sweetness, and, above all, the refined graceful dignity that remained to her from the leading station she had occupied. Her gracious respect towards her clergyman was a contrast as much to the deferential coquetry of his admirers as to the abruptness of his foe, and her indifference to parish details had even its charm in a world of fussiness; he did not know himself how far a wish of hers would have led him, and she was the last person to guess. She viewed him, like all else outside her nursery, as something out of the focus of her eye; her instinct regarded her clergyman as necessarily good and worthy, and her ear heard Rachel railing at him; it sounded hard, but it was a pity Rachel should be vexed and interfered with. In fact, she never thought of the matter at all; it was only part of that outer kind of dreamy stage-play at Avonmouth, in which she let herself he moved about at her cousin’s bidding. One part of her life had passed away from her, and what remained to her was among her children; her interests and intelligence seemed contracted to Conrade’s horizon, and as to everything else, she was subdued, gentle, obedient, but slow and obtuse.
There was someone who would have handled things much better than anyone else, who, like Ermine, relied on her good sense; but that person was completely unaware of how the clergyman viewed her soft eyes, gentle sadness, motherly warmth, and, above all, the refined, graceful dignity she still carried from her former position. Her respectful attitude toward her clergyman contrasted sharply with the flirty behavior of his admirers and the abruptness of his enemy, and her lack of interest in parish matters even had its charm in a world full of fussiness; he didn’t realize how much her wishes could have influenced him, and she was the last person to figure that out. She saw him, like everything else outside her home, as something beyond her immediate attention; her instinct treated her clergyman as inherently good and deserving, and she heard Rachel criticizing him; it seemed harsh, but she felt it was a shame for Rachel to be upset and disturbed. In fact, she never really thought about it at all; it was just part of that dreamy play acting at Avonmouth, where she let herself drift along at her cousin’s request. One part of her life had faded away, and what remained was with her children; her interests and intelligence seemed limited to Conrade’s world, and regarding everything else, she was calm, gentle, obedient, but slow and unobservant.
Yet, little as he knew it, Mr. Touchett might have even asserted his authority in a still more trying manner. If the gentle little widow had not cast a halo round her relatives, he could have preached that sermon upon the home-keeping duties of women, or have been too much offended to accept any service from the Curtis family; and he could have done without them, for he had a wide middle-class popularity; his manners with the second-rate society, in which he had been bred, were just sufficiently superior and flattering to recommend all his best points, and he obtained plenty of subscriptions from visitors, and of co-operation from inhabitants. Many a young lady was in a flutter at the approach of the spruce little figure in black, and so many volunteers were there for parish work, that districts and classes were divided and subdivided, till it sometimes seemed as if the only difficulty was to find poor people enough who would submit to serve as the corpus vile for their charitable treatment.
Yet, little did he know, Mr. Touchett could have asserted his authority in an even tougher way. If the sweet little widow hadn’t surrounded her relatives with a glowing light, he could have preached about women's responsibilities at home or been too offended to accept any help from the Curtis family; and he could have managed without them, as he enjoyed wide appeal among the middle class. His manners with the second-rate society he was raised in were just posh enough to highlight his best qualities, and he secured a lot of donations from visitors and cooperation from locals. Many young ladies would get excited at the sight of his sharp little figure in black, and there were so many volunteers for parish work that districts and classes were divided and subdivided until it often felt like the only challenge was finding enough poor people willing to act as the subjects for their charitable efforts.
For it was not a really poor population. The men were seafaring, the women lacemaking, and just well enough off to make dissent doubly attractive as an escape from some of the interfering almsgiving of the place. Over-visiting, criticism of dress, and inquisitorial examinations had made more than one Primitive Methodist, and no severe distress had been so recent as to render the women tolerant of troublesome weekly inspections. The Curtis sisters were, however, regarded as an exception; they were viewed as real gentlefolks, not only by their own tenants, but by all who were conscious of their hereditary claims to respect; they did not care whether hair were long or short, and their benefits were more substantial and reliable than could be looked for from the casual visitors and petty gentry around, so that sundry houses that were forbidden ground to district visitors, were ready to grant them a welcome.
For it wasn’t a truly poor community. The men were sailors, the women made lace, and they were well-off enough that rebellion seemed like a tempting way to escape some of the intrusive charity in the area. Too many visits, judgment about clothing, and prying questions had turned more than one person into a Primitive Methodist, and no serious hardships had been recent enough to make the women put up with annoying weekly inspections. However, the Curtis sisters were seen as an exception; they were regarded as true gentlefolk, not just by their own tenants, but by everyone who recognized their family’s legacy of respect. They didn’t care whether hair was long or short, and the help they provided was more meaningful and dependable than what could be expected from the random visitors and minor gentry around, so various households that were off-limits to community visitors were happy to welcome them.
One of these belonged to the most able lacemaker in the place, a hard-working woman, who kept seven little pupils in a sort of cupboard under the staircase, with a window into the back garden, “because,” said she, “they did no work if they looked out into the front, there were so many gapsies;” these gapsies consisting of the very scanty traffic of the further end of Mackarel Lane. For ten hours a day did these children work in a space just wide enough for them to sit, with the two least under the slope of the stairs, permitted no distraction from their bobbins, but invaded by their mistress on the faintest sound of tongues. Into this hotbed of sprigs was admitted a child who had been a special favourite at school, an orphan niece of the head of the establishment. The two brothers had been lost together at sea; and while the one widow became noted for her lace, the other, a stranger to the art, had maintained herself by small millinery, and had not sacrificed her little girl to the Moloch of lace, but had kept her at school to a later age than usual in the place. But the mother died, and the orphan was at once adopted by the aunt, with the resolve to act the truly kind part by her, and break her in to lacemaking. That determination was a great blow to the school visitors; the girls were in general so young, or so stupefied with their work, that an intelligent girl like Lovedy Kelland was no small treasure to them; there were designs of making her a pupil teacher in a few years, and offers and remonstrances rained in upon her aunt. But they had no effect; Mrs. Kelland was persuaded that the child had been spoilt by learning, and in truth poor Lovedy was a refractory scholar; she was too lively to bear the confinement patiently; her mind was too much awake not to rebel against the dulness, and her fingers had not been brought into training early enough. Her incessant tears spoilt her thread, and Mrs. Kelland decided that “she’d never get her bread till she was broke of her buke;” which breaking was attempted by a summary pawning of all poor Lovedy’s reward books. The poor child confided her loss to her young lady teacher at the Sunday school; the young lady, being new, young, and inflammable, reproached Mrs. Kelland with dishonesty and tyranny to the orphan, and in return was nearly frightened out of her wits by such a scolding as only such a woman as the lace mistress could deliver. Then Mr. Touchett tried his hand, and though he did not meet with quite so much violence, all he heard was that she had “given Lovedy the stick for being such a little tod as to complain, when she knew the money for the bukes was put safe away in her money-box. She was not going to the Sunday schule again, not she, to tell stories against her best friends!” And when the next district visitor came that way, the door was shut in her face, with the tract thrown out at the opening, and an intimation in Mrs. Kelland’s shrill voice, that no more bukes were wanted; she got plenty from Miss Curtis.
One of these belonged to the best lacemaker in the area, a hard-working woman who kept seven little students in a sort of cupboard under the stairs, with a window into the back garden. “Because,” she said, “they didn’t do any work if they looked out at the front; there were too many distractions.” These distractions came from the very limited traffic at the far end of Mackarel Lane. For ten hours a day, these children worked in a space just big enough for them to sit, with the two youngest under the slope of the stairs, receiving no distractions from their bobbins, but were interrupted by their teacher at the slightest sound. In this hotbed of lace-making, a child was added who had been a special favorite at school, an orphaned niece of the head of the establishment. Her two brothers had been lost together at sea; while one widow became known for her lace, the other, unfamiliar with the craft, supported herself through small millinery and hadn’t sacrificed her little girl to the demands of lace-making, instead keeping her in school longer than usual. But the mother died, and the orphan was immediately adopted by the aunt, with the intent to treat her kindly and teach her lacemaking. This decision was a big disappointment to the school visitors; the girls were generally so young or so exhausted from their work that an intelligent girl like Lovedy Kelland was a rare find. They planned to make her a pupil teacher in a few years, sending offers and objections to her aunt. But they had no impact; Mrs. Kelland believed the child had been spoiled by education, and in truth, poor Lovedy was a rebellious student. She was too lively to endure the confinement calmly; her mind was too alert to not resist the monotony, and her fingers hadn’t been trained early enough. Her constant tears ruined her thread, and Mrs. Kelland decided that “she’ll never earn her bread until she breaks her stubbornness;” which breaking was attempted by quickly pawning all of poor Lovedy’s reward books. The poor child shared her loss with her young teacher at Sunday school; the young lady, being new, young, and sensitive, accused Mrs. Kelland of dishonesty and cruelty towards the orphan, and in response, nearly got her wits scared out by a scolding only someone like the lace mistress could deliver. Then Mr. Touchett tried to intervene, and though he didn’t face quite as much outrage, all he heard was that she had “punished Lovedy for being such a little brat as to complain when she knew the money for the books was safely tucked away in her money-box. She wasn’t going to the Sunday school again, not her, to go and tell tales on her best friends!” And when the next district visitor came by, the door was shut in her face, with the pamphlet tossed out at the opening, and an announcement in Mrs. Kelland’s sharp voice that no more books were needed; she got plenty from Miss Curtis.
These bukes from Miss Curtis were sanatory tracts, which Rachel was constantly bestowing, and which on Sundays Mrs. Kelland spelt through, with her finger under the line, in happy ignorance whether the subject were temporal or spiritual, and feeling herself in the exemplary discharge of a Sunday duty. Moreover, old feudal feeling made Rachel be unmolested when she came down twice a week, opened the door of the blackhole under the stairs, and read aloud something religious, something improving, and a bit of a story, following it up by mental arithmetic and a lesson on objects, which seemed to Mrs. Kelland the most arrant nonsense in the world, and to her well-broken scholars was about as interesting as the humming of a blue-bottle fly; but it was poor Lovedy’s one enjoyment, though making such havoc of her work that it was always expiated by extra hours, not on her pillow, but at it.
These books from Miss Curtis were self-help pamphlets that Rachel constantly handed out, which Mrs. Kelland would read through on Sundays, tracing the lines with her finger, clueless about whether the content was about everyday life or spiritual matters, but feeling like she was fulfilling her Sunday obligation. Additionally, the lingering sense of tradition allowed Rachel to go undisturbed when she came down twice a week, opened the door to the storage space under the stairs, and read aloud something religious, something motivational, and a little story, followed by mental math and a lesson on objects. To Mrs. Kelland, this seemed like the most ridiculous nonsense imaginable, and to her well-trained students, it was as interesting as the buzz of a fly; however, it was the only joy for poor Lovedy, even though it created so much chaos in her work that she always had to compensate with extra hours—spent not in bed but working at it.
These visits of Rachel were considered to encourage the Kelland refractoriness, and it was officially intimated that it would be wise to discontinue them, and that “it was thought better” to withdraw from Mrs. Kelland all that direct patronage of her trade, by which the ladies had enabled her to be in some degree independent of the middle-men, who absorbed so much of the profit from the workers. Grace and Rachel, sufficiently old inhabitants to remember the terrible wreck that had left her a struggling widow, felt this a hard, not to say a vindictive decision. They had long been a kind of agents for disposing of her wares at a distance; and, feeling that the woman had received provocation, Grace was not disposed to give her up, while Rachel loudly averred that neither Mr. Touchett nor any of his ladies had any right to interfere, and she should take no notice.
These visits from Rachel were seen as encouraging Mrs. Kelland’s stubbornness, and it was officially suggested that it would be better to stop them. They thought it was wiser to withdraw all direct support of her business, which the ladies had provided to help her be somewhat independent of the middlemen who took a large cut of the profits from the workers. Grace and Rachel, who had lived there long enough to remember the dreadful accident that left her a struggling widow, found this decision difficult, if not outright malicious. They had acted as agents for selling her goods from afar, and since they felt the woman had been provoked, Grace wasn’t ready to abandon her. Rachel firmly declared that neither Mr. Touchett nor any of his ladies had the right to interfere, and she intended to ignore it.
“But,” said Grace, “can we run counter to our clergyman’s direct wishes?”
“But,” Grace said, “can we go against our clergyman’s explicit wishes?”
“Yes, when he steps out of his province. My dear Grace, you grew up in the days of curatolatry, but it won’t do; men are fallible even when they preach in a surplice, and you may be thankful to me that you and Fanny are not both led along in a string in the train of Mr. Touchett’s devotees!”
“Yes, when he steps out of his territory. My dear Grace, you grew up in the days of blind faith in clergymen, but that won’t work; men make mistakes even when they're wearing a robe, and you should be grateful to me that you and Fanny aren’t both being dragged along in the wake of Mr. Touchett’s followers!”
“I wish I knew what was right to do,” said Grace, quietly, and she remained wishing it after Rachel had said a great deal more; but the upshot of it was, that one day when Grace and Fanny were walking together on the esplanade, they met Mr. Touchett, and Grace said to him, “We have been thinking it over, and we thought, perhaps, you would not wish us not to give any orders to Mrs. Kelland. I know she has behaved very ill; but I don’t see how she is to get on, and she has this child on her hands.”
“I wish I knew what the right thing to do was,” Grace said quietly, and she kept wishing even after Rachel talked a lot more. But the result was that one day, when Grace and Fanny were walking together on the esplanade, they ran into Mr. Touchett. Grace said to him, “We’ve been thinking it over, and we thought maybe you wouldn’t mind if we gave some orders to Mrs. Kelland. I know she hasn’t behaved well, but I don’t see how she’s supposed to manage, especially with this child to take care of.”
“I know,” said Mr. Touchett, “but really it was flagrant.”
“I know,” Mr. Touchett said, “but honestly, it was blatant.”
“Oh,” said Lady Temple, gently, “I dare say she didn’t mean it, and you could not be hard on a widow.”
“Oh,” said Lady Temple softly, “I’m sure she didn’t mean it, and you can’t be tough on a widow.”
“Well,” said Mr. Touchett, “Miss Brown was very much put out, and—and—it is a great pity about the child, but I never thought myself that such strong measures would do any good.”
“Well,” said Mr. Touchett, “Miss Brown was really upset, and—and—it’s a real shame about the child, but I never believed that such extreme actions would make any difference.”
“Then you will not object to her being employed?”
“Then you won’t mind her being hired?”
“No, not at all. From a distance, it is not the same thing as close at home; it won’t be an example.”
“No, not at all. From a distance, it’s not the same as being up close; it won’t serve as an example.”
“Thank you,” said Grace; and “I am so glad,” said Lady Temple; and Mr. Touchett went on his way, lightened of his fear of having let his zealous coadjutors oppress the hard-working, and far more brightened by the sweet smile of requital, but all the time doubtful whether he had been weak. As to the victory, Rachel only laughed, and said, “If it made Grace more comfortable, it was well, except for that acknowledgment of Mr. Touchett’s jurisdiction.”
“Thank you,” Grace said; and “I’m so glad,” Lady Temple replied; and Mr. Touchett continued on his way, relieved that he hadn’t allowed his eager helpers to overwhelm the hardworking, feeling much better thanks to the lovely smile in return, but he still wondered if he had been too lenient. As for the victory, Rachel just laughed and said, “If it made Grace feel more comfortable, that’s great, except for that recognition of Mr. Touchett’s authority.”
A few days after, Rachel made her appearance in Mackerel Lane, and announced her intention of consulting Ermine Williams under seal of secrecy. “I have an essay that I wish you to judge of before I send it to the ‘Traveller.’”
A few days later, Rachel showed up in Mackerel Lane and said she wanted to consult Ermine Williams privately. “I have an essay that I'd like you to evaluate before I submit it to the ‘Traveller.’”
“Indeed!” said Ermine, her colour rising. “Would it not be better—”
“Absolutely!” said Ermine, her face flushing. “Wouldn’t it be better—”
“Oh, I know what you mean, but don’t scruple on that score. At my age, with a mother like mine, it is simply to avoid teasing and excitement that I am silent.”
“Oh, I get what you’re saying, but don’t worry about that. At my age, with a mother like mine, I just stay quiet to avoid any teasing or drama.”
“I was going to say I was hardly a fair—”
“I was going to say I was barely a fair—”
“Because of your different opinions? But those go for nothing. You are a worthy antagonist, and enter into my views as my mother and sister cannot do, even while you oppose them.”
“Is it because of your different opinions? But those don’t count for much. You’re a worthy opponent and actually engage with my ideas in a way my mother and sister can’t, even while you disagree with them.”
“But I don’t think I can help you, even if—”
“But I don’t think I can help you, even if—”
“I don’t want help; I only want you to judge of the composition. In fact, I read it to you that I may hear it myself.”
“I don’t want help; I just want you to evaluate the writing. Actually, I’m reading it to you so I can hear it myself.”
Ermine resigned herself.
Ermine accepted her fate.
“‘Curatolatry is a species—‘”
“‘Curatolatry is a type—‘”
“I beg your pardon.”
“Excuse me.”
“Curatolatry. Ah! I thought that would attract attention.”
“Curatolatry. Ah! I figured that would get some attention.”
“But I am afraid the scholars would fall foul of it.”
“But I’m afraid the scholars would get in trouble because of it.”
“Why, have not they just made Mariolatry?”
“Why, haven't they just created Mariolatry?”
“Yes; but they are very severe on hybrids between Latin and Greek.”
"Yes, but they are really strict about mixing Latin and Greek."
“It is not worth while to boggle at trifles when one has an expressive term,” said Rachel; “if it turns into English, that is all that is wanted.”
“It isn’t worth it to get hung up on small details when you have a clear term,” said Rachel; “if it translates into English, that’s all that matters.”
“Would it not be rather a pity if it should turn into English? Might it not be hard to brand with a contemptuous name what does more good than harm?”
“Wouldn’t it be a shame if it got translated into English? Couldn’t it be difficult to label something that does more good than harm with a scornful name?”
“That sickly mixture of flirtation and hero worship, with a religious daub as a salve to the conscience.”
“That unhealthy blend of flirting and idolization, with a touch of religious sentiment as a way to ease the conscience.”
“Laugh it down, and what do you leave? In Miss Austen’s time silly girls ran to balls after militiamen, now, if they run to schools and charities more for the curate’s sake than they quite know, is not the alternative better?”
“Laugh it off, and what do you have left? In Miss Austen’s time, silly girls chased after soldiers at balls; now, if they head to schools and charities more for the curate’s sake than they realize, isn’t that a better option?”
“It is greater humbug,” said Rachel. “But I knew you would not agree, at least beforehand, it is appreciation that I want.”
“It’s a bigger scam,” said Rachel. “But I knew you wouldn’t agree, at least not at first; it’s appreciation that I want.”
Never did Madame de Genlis make a cleverer hit than in the reading of the Genius Phanor’s tragedy in the Palace of Truth. Comically absurd as the inconsistency is of transporting the lecture of a Parisian academician into an enchanted palace, full of genii and fairies of the remotest possible connexion with the Arab jinn, the whole is redeemed by the truth to nature of the sole dupe in the Palace of Truth being the author reading his own works. Ermine was thinking of him all the time. She was under none of the constraint of Phanor’s auditors, though she carried a perpetual palace of truth about with her; she would not have had either fears or compunctions in criticising, if she could. The paper was in the essay style, between argument and sarcasm, something after the model of the Invalid’s Letters; but it was scarcely lightly touched enough, the irony was wormwood, the gravity heavy and sententious, and where there was a just thought or happy hit, it seemed to travel in a road-waggon, and be lost in the rumbling of the wheels. Ermine did not restrain a smile, half of amusement, half of relief, at the self-antidote the paper contained; but the smile passed with the authoress as a tribute to her satire.
Madame de Genlis never made a smarter move than when she read the tragedy of Genius Phanor in the Palace of Truth. It was comically absurd to imagine a Parisian academician’s lecture taking place in an enchanted palace filled with genies and fairies connected to the distant Arab jinn, yet everything is balanced out by the fact that the only person truly fooled in the Palace of Truth is the author reading his own works. Ermine thought about him the whole time. She wasn’t burdened by the pressure that Phanor's audience felt, even though she carried her own Palace of Truth everywhere; she wouldn’t have hesitated to criticize if she could. The paper was written in an essay style, mixing argument with sarcasm, reminiscent of the Invalid’s Letters; however, it wasn't light enough—the irony was bitter, and the tone was heavy with seriousness. Whenever there was a clever thought or a good point, it felt like it was lost in the rumble of a freight wagon. Ermine couldn’t help but smile, part amusement and part relief, at the self-reflection contained in the paper; but her smile faded as it became a nod to the author’s satire.
“In this age,” she said, “we must use those lighter weapons of wit, or no one will attend.”
“In this day and age,” she said, “we need to use those lighter weapons of wit, or no one will show up.”
“Perhaps,” said Ermine, “if I approve your object, I should tell you you don’t use them lightly.”
“Maybe,” Ermine said, “if I agree with your goal, I should let you know that you shouldn’t use them casually.”
“Ah! but I know you don’t approve it. You are not lay woman enough to be impartial, and you belong to the age that was trying the experiment of the hierarchy modified: I to that which has found it will not do. But at least you understand my view; I have made out my case.”
“Ah! but I know you don’t approve of it. You aren’t really unbiased enough, and you belong to an era that was experimenting with a modified hierarchy: I belong to one that has discovered it doesn’t work. But at least you understand my perspective; I’ve made my case clear.”
“Yes, I understand your view; but—”
“Yes, I get your point; but—”
“You don’t sympathize. Of course not; but when it receives its full weight from the printer’s bands, you will see that it will tell. That bit about the weak tea fumes I thought of afterwards, and I am afraid I did not read it well.”
“You don’t feel sorry for it. Of course not; but when it gets its full impact from the printer's press, you’ll see that it will matter. I thought of that part about the weak tea fumes later, and I’m afraid I didn’t read it properly.”
“I remember it; but forgive me if I say first I think the whole is rather too—too lengthy to take.”
“I remember it; but please forgive me if I say first that I think it’s all quite a bit—too long to handle.”
“Oh, that is only because manuscript takes long to read aloud. I counted the words, so I can’t be mistaken, at least I collated twenty lines, and multiplied; and it is not so long as the Invalid’s last letter about systematic reading.”
“Oh, that’s just because the manuscript takes a long time to read aloud. I counted the words, so I’m sure of it; I at least went through twenty lines and multiplied. It’s not as long as the Invalid’s last letter about systematic reading.”
“And then comes my question again, Is good to come of it?”
“And then comes my question again: Is anything good going to come of it?”
“That I can’t expect you to see at this time; but it is to be the beginning of a series, exposing the fallacies of woman’s life as at present conducted; and out of these I mean to point the way to more consistent, more independent, better combined exertion. If I can make myself useful with my pen, it will compensate for the being debarred from so many more obvious outlets. I should like to have as much influence over people’s minds as that Invalid for instance, and by earnest effort I know I shall attain it.”
“I know you can’t see it right now, but this is just the start of a series that will reveal the misconceptions about women's lives as they are lived today. From this, I plan to show a better path toward more consistent, independent, and coordinated efforts. If I can make a difference with my writing, it will make up for being shut out from so many other clear opportunities. I would really like to have as much influence over people's thoughts as that Invalid, and I believe that with hard work, I can achieve it.”
“I—I—” half-laughing and blushing, “I hope you will, for I know you would wish to use it for good; but, to speak plainly, I doubt about the success of this effort, or—or if it ought to succeed.”
“I—I—” half-laughing and blushing, “I hope you will, because I know you want to use it for good; but, to be honest, I have my doubts about the success of this effort, or— or if it even should succeed.”
“Yes, I know you do,” said Rachel. “No one ever can judge of a manuscript. You have done all I wished you to do, and I value your sincerity. Of course I did not expect praise, since the more telling it is on the opposite side, the less you could like it. I saw you appreciated it.”
“Yeah, I know you do,” said Rachel. “No one can ever really judge a manuscript. You’ve done everything I asked, and I appreciate your honesty. Of course, I didn’t expect compliments, since the more impactful it is on the other side, the less you’d like it. I could tell you appreciated it.”
And Rachel departed, while Rose crept up to her aunt, asking, “Aunt Ermine, why do you look so very funny? It was very tiresome. Are not you glad it is over?”
And Rachel left, while Rose sneaked up to her aunt, asking, “Aunt Ermine, why do you look so strange? That was really tiring. Aren't you glad it’s over?”
“I was thinking, Rose, what a difficult language plain English is sometimes.”
“I was thinking, Rose, how challenging plain English can be sometimes.”
“What, Miss Rachel’s? I couldn’t understand one bit of her long story, except that she did not like weak tea.”
“What about Miss Rachel’s? I couldn’t make sense of any part of her long story, except that she didn’t like weak tea.”
“It was my own that I meant,” said Ermine. “But, Rose, always remember that a person who stands plain speaking from one like me has something very noble and generous in her. Were you here all the time, Rosie? I don’t wonder you were tired.”
“It was my own that I meant,” said Ermine. “But, Rose, always remember that someone who speaks honestly to someone like me has something very noble and generous in her. Were you here the whole time, Rosie? I can see why you were tired.”
“No, Aunt Ermine, I went and told Violetta and Augustus a fairy tale out of my own head.”
“No, Aunt Ermine, I went and told Violetta and Augustus a fairy tale I made up myself.”
“Indeed; and how did they like it?”
“Definitely; so how did they feel about it?”
“Violetta looked at me all the time, and Augustus gave three winks, so I think he liked it.”
“Violetta kept looking at me, and Augustus winked three times, so I think he liked it.”
“Appreciated it!” said Aunt Ermine.
“Thanks a lot!” said Aunt Ermine.
CHAPTER IV. THE HERO.
“And which is Lucy’s? Can it be That puny fop, armed cap-a-pie, Who loves in the saloon to show The arms that never knew a foe.”—SCOTT.
“And which is Lucy’s? Can it be that silly dandy, dressed to the nines, who loves to show off in the bar the arms that have never faced an enemy?” —SCOTT.
“My lady’s compliments, ma’am, and she would he much obliged if you would remain till she comes home,” was Coombe’s reception of Alison. “She is gone to Avoncester with Master Temple and Master Francis.”
“My lady sends her regards, ma’am, and she would be very grateful if you could stay until she gets back,” was Coombe’s greeting to Alison. “She has gone to Avoncester with Master Temple and Master Francis.”
“Gone to Avoncester!” exclaimed Rachel, who had walked from church to Myrtlewood with Alison.
“Gone to Avoncester!” Rachel exclaimed, who had walked from church to Myrtlewood with Alison.
“Mamma is gone to meet the Major!” cried three of the lesser boys, rushing upon them in full cry; then Leoline, facing round, “Not the major, he is lieutenant-colonel now—Colonel Keith, hurrah!”
“Mama has gone to meet the Major!” yelled three of the younger boys, running towards them excitedly; then Leoline turned around, “Not the major, he’s a lieutenant-colonel now—Colonel Keith, hurrah!”
“What—what do you mean? Speak rationally, Leoline, if you can.”
“What do you mean? Speak sensibly, Leoline, if you can.”
“My lady sent a note to the Homestead this morning,” explained Coombe. “She heard this morning that Colonel Keith intended to arrive to-day, and took the young gentlemen with her to meet him.”
“My lady sent a message to the Homestead this morning,” Coombe explained. “She heard that Colonel Keith was planning to arrive today, and she took the young gentlemen with her to meet him.”
Rachel could hardly refrain from manifesting her displeasure, and bluntly asked what time Lady Temple was likely to be at home.
Rachel could barely hide her annoyance and straightforwardly asked what time Lady Temple would probably be home.
“It depended,” Coombe said, “upon the train; it was not certain whether Colonel Keith would come by the twelve or the two o’clock train.”
“It depended,” Coombe said, “on the train; it wasn’t certain whether Colonel Keith would be coming by the twelve or the two o’clock train.”
And Rachel was going to turn sharply round, and dash home with the tidings, when Alison arrested her with the question—
And Rachel was about to spin around and rush home with the news when Alison stopped her with the question—
“And who is Colonel Keith?”
“And who is Colonel Keith?”
Rachel was too much wrapped up in her own view to hear the trembling of the voice, and answered, “Colonel Keith! why, the Major! You have not been here so long without hearing of the Major?”
Rachel was too caught up in her own perspective to notice the quiver in his voice, and replied, “Colonel Keith! The Major! You can’t have been here for long without hearing about the Major?”
“Yes, but I did not know. Who is he?” And a more observant person would have seen the governess’s gasping effort to veil her eagerness under her wonted self-control.
“Yes, but I didn’t know. Who is he?” And a more observant person would have noticed the governess’s strained attempt to hide her excitement beneath her usual composure.
“Don’t you know who the Major is?” shouted Leoline. “He is our military secretary.”
“Don’t you know who the Major is?” shouted Leoline. “He’s our military secretary.”
“That’s the sum total of my knowledge,” said Rachel, “I don’t understand his influence, nor know where he was picked up.”
“That’s all I know,” Rachel said, “I don’t get his influence, and I have no idea where he came from.”
“Nor his regiment?”
"Or his unit?"
“He is not a regimental officer; he is on our staff,” said Leoline, whose imagination could not attain to an earlier condition than “on our staff.”
“He’s not a regimental officer; he’s on our staff,” said Leoline, whose imagination couldn't grasp anything earlier than “on our staff.”
“I shall go home, then,” said Rachel, “and see if there is any explanation there.”
“I'll go home, then,” said Rachel, “and see if there's any explanation there.”
“I shall ask the Major not to let Aunt Rachel come here,” observed Hubert, as she departed; it was well it was not before.
“I’m going to ask the Major not to let Aunt Rachel come here,” Hubert said as she left; it was good it wasn’t before.
“Leoline,” anxiously asked Alison, “can you tell me the Major’s name?”
“Leoline,” Alison asked anxiously, “do you know the Major’s name?”
“Colonel Keith—Lieutenant-Colonel Keith,” was all the answer.
“Colonel Keith—Lieutenant-Colonel Keith,” was all the response.
“I meant his Christian name, my dear.”
“I meant his first name, my dear.”
“Only little boys have Christian names!” they returned, and Alison was forced to do her best to tame herself and them to the duties of the long day of anticipation so joyous on their part, so full of confusion and bewildered anxiety on her own. She looked in vain, half stealthily, as often before, for a recent Army List or Peerage. Long ago she had lost the Honourable Colin A. Keith from among the officers of the —th Highlanders, and though in the last Peerage she had laid hands on he was still among the surviving sons of the late Lord Keith, of Gowanbrae, the date had not gone back far enough to establish that he had not died in the Indian war. It was fear that predominated with her, there were many moments when she would have given worlds to be secure that the newcomer was not the man she thought of, who, whether constant or inconstant, could bring nothing but pain and disturbance to the calm tenour of her sister’s life. Everything was an oppression to her; the children, in their wild, joyous spirits and gladsome inattention, tried her patience almost beyond her powers; the charge of the younger ones in their mother’s absence was burthensome, and the delay in returning to her sister became well-nigh intolerable, when she figured to herself Rachel Curtis going down to Ermine with the tidings of Colonel Keith’s arrival, and her own discontent at his influence with her cousin. Would that she had spoken a word of warning; yet that might have been merely mischievous, for the subject was surely too delicate for Rachel to broach with so recent a friend. But Rachel had bad taste for anything! That the little boys did not find Miss Williams very cross that day was an effect of the long habit of self-control, and she could hardly sit still under the additional fret, when, just as tea was spread for the school-room party, in walked Miss Rachel, and sat herself down, in spite of Hubert, who made up a most coaxing, entreating face, as he said, “Please, Aunt Rachel, doesn’t Aunt Grace want you very much!”
“Only little boys have Christian names!” they replied, and Alison had to do her best to manage herself and them through the long day of joyful anticipation for them, while she felt confused and anxious. She searched in vain, half-hiding, for a recent Army List or Peerage. Long ago she had lost track of the Honourable Colin A. Keith from the officers of the —th Highlanders, and although the last Peerage she had looked at still listed him among the surviving sons of the late Lord Keith of Gowanbrae, the date wasn’t recent enough to confirm he hadn’t died in the Indian war. Fear weighed heavily on her; there were many moments when she would have given anything to be sure that the newcomer wasn’t the man she was thinking of, who, whether faithful or unfaithful, could bring nothing but pain and trouble to the serene life of her sister. Everything felt like a burden; the children, with their wild, happy energy and careless joy, tested her patience to its limits; taking care of the younger ones in their mother’s absence felt overwhelming, and the delay in returning to her sister was becoming almost unbearable as she imagined Rachel Curtis going to Ermine with news of Colonel Keith’s arrival, and her own frustration at his influence with her cousin. If only she had said something to warn her; yet that could have been just meddling, for the topic was surely too sensitive for Rachel to discuss with such a new acquaintance. But Rachel had no taste for anything! The fact that the little boys didn’t find Miss Williams too harsh that day was thanks to her long practice of self-control, yet she could hardly remain calm under the extra annoyance when, just as tea was being laid out for the schoolroom gathering, Miss Rachel walked in and took a seat, ignoring Hubert, who was making a very pleading, coaxing face as he said, “Please, Aunt Rachel, doesn’t Aunt Grace want you very much!”
“Not at all. Why, Hubert?”
“Not at all. Why, Hubert?”
“Oh, if you would only go away, and not spoil our fun when the Major comes.”
“Oh, if you would just leave and not ruin our fun when the Major arrives.”
For once Rachel did laugh, but she did not take the hint, and Alison obtained only the satisfaction of hearing that she had at least not been in Mackarel Lane. The wheels sounded on the gravel, out rushed the boys; Alison and Rachel sat in strange, absolute silence, each forgetful of the other, neither guarding her own looks, nor remarking her companion’s. Alison’s lips were parted by intense listening; Rachel’s teeth were set to receive her enemy. There was a chorus of voices in the hall, and something about tea and coming in warned both to gather up their looks before Lady Temple had opened the door, and brought in upon them not one foe, but two! Was Rachel seeing double? Hardly that, for one was tall, bald, and bearded, not dangerously young, but on that very account the more dangerously good-looking; and the other was almost a boy, slim and light, just of the empty young officer type. Here, too, was Fanny, flushed, excited, prettier and brighter than Rachel had seen her at all, waving an introduction with head and hand; and the boys hanging round the Major with deafening exclamations of welcome, in which they were speedily joined by the nursery detachment. Those greetings, those observations on growth and looks, those glad, eager questions and answers, were like the welcome of an integral part of the family; it was far more intimate and familiar than had been possible with the Curtises after the long separation, and it was enough to have made the two spectators feel out of place, if such a sensation had been within Rachel’s capacity, or if Alison had not been engaged with the tea. Lady Temple made a few explanations, sotto voce, to Alison, whom she always treated as though in dread of not being sufficiently considerate. “I do hope the children have been good; I knew you would not mind; I could not wait to see you, or I should have been too late to meet the train, and then he would have come by the coach; and it is such a raw east wind. He must be careful in this climate.”
For once, Rachel actually laughed, but she missed the point, and Alison was left only with the satisfaction of knowing that she at least hadn’t been in Mackarel Lane. The sound of wheels on gravel came as the boys rushed out; Alison and Rachel sat in a strange, complete silence, each ignoring the other, neither paying attention to her own expression nor noticing her companion's. Alison’s lips were slightly parted as she listened intently; Rachel’s teeth were clenched, ready to face her enemy. There was a mix of voices in the hall, and the mention of tea and coming in signaled both of them to put on a composed face before Lady Temple opened the door, bringing in not one, but two foes! Was Rachel seeing double? Not really, since one was tall, bald, and bearded—not dangerously young, but all the more dangerously good-looking for that; the other was nearly a boy, slim and light, just the typical empty young officer type. There was also Fanny, looking flushed and excited, prettier and brighter than Rachel had ever seen her, waving an introduction with her head and hand; and the boys surrounded the Major with deafening welcomes, quickly joined by the nursery crew. Those greetings, the comments on growth and looks, the happy, eager questions and answers felt like the welcome of a real part of the family; it was far more intimate and familiar than anything possible with the Curtises after their long separation, enough to make the two onlookers feel out of place if Rachel could have felt such a thing, or if Alison hadn't been focused on the tea. Lady Temple made a few quick explanations in a low voice to Alison, whom she always treated as if worried about not being considerate enough. “I hope the children have been good; I knew you wouldn’t mind; I couldn’t wait to see you, or I would have been too late to meet the train, and then he would have come by the coach; and it’s such a cold east wind. He has to be careful in this climate.”
“How warm and sunshiny it has been all day,” said Rachel, by way of opposition to some distant echo of this whisper.
“How warm and sunny it has been all day,” Rachel said, responding to some distant echo of this whisper.
“Sunshiny, but treacherous,” answered Colonel Keith; “there are cold gusts round corners. This must be a very sheltered nook of the coast.”
“Bright and sunny, but dangerous,” replied Colonel Keith; “there are cold winds around the corners. This must be a really sheltered spot along the coast.”
“Quite a different zone from Avoncester,” said the youth.
“Definitely a different area from Avoncester,” said the young man.
“Yes, delightful. I told you it was just what would suit you,” added Fanny, to the colonel.
“Yes, it's great. I told you it was exactly what you needed,” added Fanny to the colonel.
“Some winds are very cold here,” interposed Rachel. “I always pity people who are imposed upon to think it a Mentone near home. They are choking our churchyard.”
“Some winds are really cold here,” Rachel added. “I always feel sorry for people who are tricked into thinking this is like Mentone back home. They’re overcrowding our churchyard.”
“Very inconsiderate of them,” muttered the young man.
“Really inconsiderate of them,” the young man muttered.
“But what made you come home so late, Fanny?” said Rachel.
“But what made you come home so late, Fanny?” Rachel asked.
Alison suspected a slight look of wonder on the part of both the officers at hearing their general’s wife thus called to account; but Fanny, taking it as a matter of course, answered, “We found that the-th was at Avoncester. I had no idea of it, and they did not know I was here; so I went to call upon Mrs. Hammond, and Colonel Keith went to look for Alick, and we have brought him home to dine.”
Alison noticed a hint of surprise on the faces of both officers when they heard their general's wife being questioned like that; but Fanny, treating it as completely normal, replied, “We discovered that the-th was in Avoncester. I had no idea about it, and they didn’t know I was here; so I went to visit Mrs. Hammond, and Colonel Keith went to find Alick, and we brought him home for dinner.”
Fanny took it for granted that Rachel must know who Alick was, but she was far from doing so, though she remembered that the —th had been her uncle’s regiment, and had been under Sir Stephen Temple’s command in India at the time of the mutiny. The thought of Fanny’s lapsing into military society was shocking to her. The boys were vociferating about boats, ponies, and all that had been deferred till the Major’s arrival, and he was answering them kindly, but hushing the extra outcry less by word than sign, and his own lowered voice and polished manner—a manner that excessively chafed her as a sort of insult to the blunt, rapid ways that she considered as sincere and unaffected, a silkiness that no doubt had worked on the honest, simple general, as it was now working on the weak young widow. Anything was better than leaving her to such influence, and in pursuance of the intention that Rachel had already announced at home, she invited herself to stay to dinner; and Fanny eagerly thanked her, for making it a little less dull for Colonel Keith and Alick. It was so good to come down and help. Certainly Fanny was an innocent creature, provided she was not spoilt, and it was a duty to guard her innocence.
Fanny assumed that Rachel must know who Alick was, but she really didn't, even though she remembered that the —th had been her uncle’s regiment and had been under Sir Stephen Temple’s command in India during the mutiny. The thought of Fanny mixing with military society shocked her. The boys were loudly discussing boats, ponies, and everything that had been postponed until the Major arrived, and he was answering them kindly, but calming the extra noise more with gestures than words, using his lowered voice and polished manner—a manner that really irritated her as it felt like an insult to the straightforward, quick ways she viewed as genuine and unpretentious; a smoothness that had likely influenced the honest, simple general, just as it was now affecting the fragile young widow. Anything was better than leaving her under such influence, and to follow through on the plan Rachel had already mentioned at home, she invited herself to stay for dinner; Fanny eagerly thanked her for making it a little less boring for Colonel Keith and Alick. It felt so good to come down and help. Fanny was certainly an innocent girl, as long as she wasn’t spoiled, and it was important to protect her innocence.
Alison Williams escaped to her home, sure of nothing but that her sister must not be allowed to share her uncertainties; and Lady Temple and her guests sat down to dinner. Rachel meant to have sat at the bottom and carved, as belonging to the house; but Fanny motioned the Colonel to the place, observing, “It is so natural to see you there! One only wants poor Captain Dent at the other end. Do you know whether he has his leave?”
Alison Williams ran home, convinced of only one thing: her sister couldn’t be allowed to share her doubts. Meanwhile, Lady Temple and her guests settled down for dinner. Rachel planned to sit at the end and carve, since it was her family's home; but Fanny signaled for the Colonel to take the spot, saying, “It feels so right to see you there! We just need poor Captain Dent at the other end. Do you know if he’s on leave?”
Wherewith commenced a discussion of military friends—who had been heard of from Australia, who had been met in England, who was promoted, who married, who retired, &c., and all the quarters of the-th since its return from India two years ago; Fanny eagerly asking questions and making remarks, quite at home and all animation, absolutely a different being from the subdued, meek little creature that Rachel had hitherto seen. Attempts were made to include Miss Curtis in the conversation by addressing anecdotes to her, and asking if she knew the places named; but she had been to none, and the three old friends quickly fell into the swing of talk about what interested them. Once, however, she came down on them with, “What conclusion have you formed upon female emigration?”
Thus began a discussion about military friends—those who had been heard from Australia, those met in England, those who got promoted, those who married, those who retired, etc., covering all aspects since their return from India two years ago. Fanny eagerly asked questions and made remarks, totally at ease and animated, completely different from the quiet, meek person Rachel had previously known. They tried to include Miss Curtis in the conversation by sharing stories and asking if she recognized the places mentioned, but she hadn’t been to any of them, and the three old friends quickly got into their own rhythm of conversation about what interested them. However, she once interjected with, “What conclusion have you come to about female emigration?”
“‘His sister she went beyond the seas, And died an old maid among black savagees.’
“‘His sister went across the seas, And died an old maid among black savages.’”
“That’s the most remarkable instance of female emigration on record, isn’t it?” observed Alick.
"That’s the most amazing example of women emigrating on record, right?" Alick remarked.
“What; her dying an old maid?” said Colonel Keith. “I am not sure. Wholesale exportations of wives are spoiling the market.”
“What? Her dying an old maid?” said Colonel Keith. “I’m not so sure. There are too many wives being shipped off, and it’s ruining the market.”
“I did not mean marriage,” said Rachel, stoutly. “I am particularly anxious to know whether there is a field open to independent female labour.”
“I didn't mean marriage,” Rachel said firmly. “I'm especially eager to find out if there's an opportunity for independent women in the workforce.”
“All the superior young women seemed to turn nurserymaids,” said the Colonel.
“All the exceptional young women seemed to become nannies,” said the Colonel.
“Oh,” interposed Fanny, “do you remember that nice girl of ours who would marry that Orderly-Sergeant O’Donoghoe? I have had a letter from her in such distress.”
“Oh,” interjected Fanny, “do you remember that lovely girl of ours who was going to marry that Orderly-Sergeant O’Donoghoe? I got a letter from her, and she’s really upset.”
“Of course, the natural termination,” said Alick, in his lazy voice.
“Of course, the natural ending,” said Alick, in his relaxed voice.
“And I thought you would tell me how to manage sending her some help,” proceeded Fanny.
“And I thought you would let me know how to send her some help,” Fanny continued.
“I could have helped you, Fanny. Won’t an order do it?”
“I could have helped you, Fanny. Isn’t an order enough?”
“Not quite,” said Fanny, a shade of a smile playing on her lip. “It is whether to send it through one of the officers or not. If Captain Lee is with the regiment, I know he would take care of it for her.”
“Not really,” said Fanny, a slight smile tugging at her lip. “It's about whether to send it through one of the officers or not. If Captain Lee is with the regiment, I know he would take care of it for her.”
So they plunged into another regiment, and Rachel decided that nothing was so wearisome as to hear triflers talk shop.
So they jumped into another group, and Rachel figured that nothing was more tiring than listening to people who only cared about trivial things discussing their work.
There was no opportunity of calling Fanny to order after dinner, for she went off on her progress to all the seven cribs, and was only just returning from them when the gentlemen came in, and then she made room for the younger beside her on the sofa, saying, “Now, Alick, I do so want to hear about poor, dear little Bessie;” and they began so low and confidentially, that Rachel wondered if her alarms wore to be transfered from the bearded colonel to the dapper boy, or if, in very truth, she must deem poor Fanny a general coquette. Besides, a man must be contemptible who wore gloves at so small a party, when she did not.
There was no chance to call Fanny to order after dinner because she went off to visit all seven cribs, and she was just coming back from them when the guys arrived. Then she made space for the younger one next to her on the sofa, saying, “Now, Alick, I really want to hear about poor, dear little Bessie;” and they started talking so softly and confidentially that Rachel wondered if her worries would shift from the bearded colonel to the dapper boy, or if she truly had to consider poor Fanny a total flirt. Plus, a man must be pretty pathetic to wear gloves at such a small gathering, especially when she wasn't.
She had been whiling away the time of Fanny’s absence by looking over the books on the table, and she did not regard the present company sufficiently to desist on their account. Colonel Keith began to turn over some numbers of the “Traveller” that lay near him, and presently looked up, and said, “Do you know who is the writer of this?”
She had been passing the time during Fanny’s absence by going through the books on the table, and she didn’t pay enough attention to the people around her to stop because of them. Colonel Keith started flipping through some issues of the “Traveller” that were nearby, and soon looked up and asked, “Do you know who wrote this?”
“What is it? Ah! one of the Invalid’s essays. They strike every one; but I fancy the authorship is a great secret.”
“What is it? Ah! one of the Invalid’s essays. They catch everyone’s attention, but I think the author’s identity is a well-kept secret.”
“You do not know it?”
"Don't you know it?"
“No, I wish I did. Which of them are you reading? ‘Country Walks.’ That is not one that I care about, it is a mere hash of old recollections; but there are some very sensible and superior ones, so that I have heard it sometimes doubted whether they are man’s or woman’s writing. For my part, I think them too earnest to be a man’s; men always play with their subject.”
“No, I wish I did. Which one are you reading? ‘Country Walks.’ That’s not one I’m interested in; it’s just a jumble of old memories. But there are some really smart and impressive ones, and I’ve heard some people wonder if they were written by a man or a woman. Personally, I think they’re too serious to be a man’s work; men always tend to joke around with their topics.”
“Oh, yes,” said Fanny, “I am sure only a lady could have written anything so sweet as that about flowers in a sick-room; it so put me in mind of the lovely flowers you used to bring me one at a time, when I was ill at Cape Town.”
“Oh, yes,” said Fanny, “I’m sure only a lady could have written something so lovely about flowers in a sick room; it reminded me of the beautiful flowers you used to bring me one by one when I was sick in Cape Town.”
There was no more sense to be had after those three once fell upon their reminiscences.
There was no more understanding to be gained after those three started reminiscing.
That night, after having betrayed her wakefulness by a movement in her bed, Alison Williams heard her sister’s voice, low and steady, saying, “Ailie, dear, be it what it may, guessing is worse than certainty.”
That night, after she had disturbed her sleep with a movement in her bed, Alison Williams heard her sister’s voice, calm and steady, saying, “Ailie, dear, whatever it is, guessing is worse than knowing.”
“Oh, Ermine, I hoped—I know nothing—I have nothing to tell.”
“Oh, Ermine, I hoped—I don’t know anything—I have nothing to share.”
“You dread something,” said Ermine; “you have been striving for unconcern all the evening, my poor dear, but surely you know, Ailie, that nothing is so bad while we share it.”
“You're worried about something,” said Ermine; “you've been trying to act unbothered all evening, my dear, but you know, Ailie, that nothing feels as bad when we face it together.”
“And I have frightened you about nothing.”
“And I have scared you for no reason.”
“Nothing! nothing about Edward?”
“Nothing! Nothing about Edward?”
“Oh, no, no!”
“Oh, no, no!”
“And no one has made you uncomfortable?”
"And no one has made you feel uncomfortable?"
“No.”
“Nope.”
“Then there is only one thing that it can be, Ailie, and you need not fear to tell me that. I always knew that if he lived I must be prepared for it, and you would not have hesitated to tell me of his death.”
“Then there’s only one thing it can be, Ailie, and you don’t need to be afraid to tell me. I always knew that if he lived, I had to be ready for it, and you wouldn’t have hesitated to tell me if he had died.”
“It is not that, indeed it is not, Ermine, it is only this—that I found to-day that Lady Temple’s major has the same name.”
“It’s not that, it really isn’t, Ermine, it’s just that I discovered today that Lady Temple’s major has the same name.”
“But you said she was come home. You must have seen him.”
“But you said she was home. You must have seen him.”
“Yes, but I should not know him. I had only seen him once, remember, twelve years ago, and when I durst not look at him.”
“Yes, but I wouldn’t recognize him. I’d only seen him once, remember, twelve years ago, and I didn’t dare to look at him.”
“At least,” said Ermine, quickly, “you can tell me what you saw to-day.”
“At least,” Ermine said quickly, “you can tell me what you saw today.”
“A Scotch face, bald head, dark beard, grizzled hair.”
“A Scottish face, bald head, dark beard, graying hair.”
“Yes I am grey, and he was five years older; but he used not to have a Scotch face. Can you tell me about his eyes?”
“Yes, I’m grey, and he was five years older; but he didn’t used to have a Scottish face. Can you tell me about his eyes?”
“Dark,” I think.
"Dark," I think.
“They were very dark blue, almost black. Time and climate must have left them alone. You may know him by those eyes, Ailie. And you could not make out anything about him?”
“They were a very dark blue, almost black. Time and the weather must have left them untouched. You can recognize him by those eyes, Ailie. And you couldn't figure out anything about him?”
“No, not even his Christian name nor his regiment. I had only the little ones and Miss Rachel to ask, and they knew nothing. I wanted to keep this from you till I was sure, but you always find me out.”
“No, not even his first name or his regiment. I only had the kids and Miss Rachel to ask, and they didn’t know anything. I wanted to keep this from you until I was sure, but you always figure me out.”
“Do you think I couldn’t see the misery you were in all the evening, poor child? But now you have had it out, sleep, and don’t be distressed.”
“Do you think I didn’t notice the pain you were in all evening, poor kid? But now that you've shared it, get some sleep and try not to worry.”
“But, Ermine, if you—”
“But, Ermine, if you—”
“My dear, I am thankful that nothing is amiss with you or Edward. For the rest, there is nothing but patience. Now, not another word; you must not lose your sleep, nor take away my chance of any.”
“My dear, I’m grateful that nothing is wrong with you or Edward. As for everything else, it just requires patience. Now, no more talking; you shouldn’t lose any sleep, nor should you take away my chance of getting any.”
How much the sisters slept they did not confide to one another, but when they rose, Alison shook her head at her sister’s heavy eyelids, and Ermine retorted with a reproachful smile at certain dark tokens of sleeplessness under Alison’s eyes.
How long the sisters slept, they didn’t share with each other, but when they got up, Alison shook her head at her sister’s heavy eyelids, and Ermine responded with a teasing smile at the dark circles of sleeplessness under Alison’s eyes.
“No, not the flowered flimsiness, please,” she said, in the course of her toilette, “let me have the respectable grey silk.” And next she asked for a drawer, whence she chose a little Nuremberg horn brooch for her neck. “I know it is very silly,” she said, “but I can’t quite help it. Only one question, Ailie, that I thought of too late. Did he hear your name?”
“No, not the flowery flimsy stuff, please,” she said while getting ready, “just give me the nice grey silk.” Then she asked for a drawer, from which she picked a small Nuremberg horn brooch for her neck. “I know it’s a bit silly,” she said, “but I can’t quite help it. Just one question, Ailie, that I thought of too late. Did he hear your name?”
“I think not, Lady Temple named nobody. But why did you not ask me last night?”
“I don't think so, Lady Temple didn't mention anyone. But why didn't you ask me last night?”
“I thought beginning to talk again would destroy your chance of sleep, and we had resolved to stop.”
“I thought starting to talk again would ruin your chance to sleep, and we had decided to stop.”
“And, Ermine, if it be, what shall I do?”
“And, Ermine, if that’s the case, what should I do?”
“Do as you feel right at the moment,” said Ermine, after a moment’s pause. “I cannot tell how it may be. I have been thinking over what you told me about the Major and Lady Temple.”
“Do what feels right in the moment,” Ermine said after a brief pause. “I can’t say how things will turn out. I’ve been thinking about what you told me regarding the Major and Lady Temple.”
“Oh, Ermine, what a reproof this is for that bit of gossip.”
“Oh, Ermine, what a reprimand this is for that piece of gossip.”
“Not at all, my dear, the warning may be all the better for me,” said Ermine, with a voice less steady than her words. “It is not what, under the circumstances, I could think likely in the Colin whom I knew; but were it indeed so, then, Ailie, you had better say nothing about me, unless he found you out. We would get employment elsewhere.”
“Not at all, my dear, the warning might actually be good for me,” said Ermine, her voice wavering despite her words. “It's not something I would expect from the Colin I knew; but if it is true, then, Ailie, you should probably keep quiet about me, unless he figures it out. We would find work somewhere else.”
“And I must leave you to the suspense all day.”
“And I have to leave you in suspense all day.”
“Much better so. The worst thing we could do would be to go on talking about it. It is far better for me to be left with my dear little unconscious companion.”
“Much better this way. The worst thing we could do is keep talking about it. It’s way better for me to be left with my sweet little unconscious companion.”
Alison tried to comfort herself with this belief through the long hours of the morning, during which she only heard that mamma and Colonel Keith were gone to the Homestead, and she saw no one till she came forth with her troop to the midday meal.
Alison tried to soothe herself with this thought during the long hours of the morning, when she only heard that mom and Colonel Keith had gone to the Homestead, and she didn’t see anyone until she came out with her group for the lunchtime meal.
And there, at sight of Lady Temple’s content and calm, satisfied look, as though she were once more in an accustomed atmosphere, and felt herself and the boys protected, and of the Colonel’s courteous attention to her and affectionate authority towards her sons, it was an absolute pang to recognise the hue of eye described by Ermine; but still Alison tried to think them generic Keith eyes, till at length, amid the merry chatter of her pupils, came an appeal to “Miss Williams,” and then came a look that thrilled through her, the same glance that she had met for one terrible moment twelve years before, and renewing the same longing to shrink from all sight or sound. How she kept her seat and continued to attend to the children she never knew, but the voices sounded like a distant Babel; and she did not know whether she were most relieved, disappointed, or indignant when she left the dining-room to take the boys for their walk. Oh, that Ermine could be hid from all knowledge of what would be so much harder to bear than the death in which she had long believed!
And there, seeing Lady Temple’s happy and calm expression, as if she were back in a familiar environment and felt safe with her sons, along with the Colonel’s polite attention to her and caring authority over her children, it was a real jolt to recognize the eye color described by Ermine; but still, Alison tried to convince herself they were just typical Keith eyes, until, among the cheerful chatter of her students, someone called for “Miss Williams,” and then came a look that sent a shiver through her, the same glance she had encountered for one awful moment twelve years ago, bringing back the same urge to hide from everything around her. She had no idea how she managed to stay seated and focused on the kids, but their voices sounded like a far-off mix of nonsense; and when she left the dining room to take the boys for their walk, she didn’t know if she felt more relieved, disappointed, or angry. Oh, how she wished Ermine could be spared from knowing about something that would be so much harder to cope with than the death she had long thought was true!
Harder to bear? Yes, Ermine had already been passing through a heart sickness that made the morning like an age. Her resolute will had struggled hard for composure, cheerfulness, and occupation; but the little watchful niece had seen through the endeavour, and had made her own to the sleepless night and the headache. The usual remedy was a drive in a wheeled chair, and Rose was so urgent to be allowed to go and order one, that Ermine at last yielded, partly because she had hardly energy enough to turn her refusal graciously, partly because she would not feel herself staying at home for the vague hope and when the child was out of sight, she had the comfort of clasping her hands, and ceasing to restrain her countenance, while she murmured, “Oh, Colin, Colin, are you what you were twelve years back? Is this all dream, all delusion, and waste of feeling, while you are lying in your Indian grave, more mine than you can ever be living be as it may,—
Harder to bear? Yes, Ermine had been dealing with a heartache that made the morning feel like an eternity. Her strong will had fought hard for composure, cheerfulness, and things to occupy her mind; but her observant niece had seen through the effort and had her own sleepless night and headache to contend with. The typical remedy was a ride in a wheelchair, and Rose was so insistent on going to arrange one that Ermine eventually gave in, partly because she barely had enough energy to refuse gracefully, and partly because she didn’t want to feel stuck at home waiting for something uncertain. Once the child was out of sight, she found solace in clasping her hands and letting her expression show her true feelings as she murmured, “Oh, Colin, Colin, are you who you were twelve years ago? Is this all just a dream, a delusion, and a waste of feeling, while you lie in your Indian grave, more mine than you could ever be alive, no matter what?”
“‘Calm me, my God, and keep me calm While these hot breezes blow; Be like the night dew’s cooling balm Upon earth’s fevered brow. Calm me, my God, and keep me calm, Soft resting on Thy breast; Soothe me with holy hymn and psalm, And bid my spirit rest.’”
“‘Calm me, my God, and keep me calm While these hot breezes blow; Be like the night dew’s cooling balm Upon earth’s fevered brow. Calm me, my God, and keep me calm, Gently resting on Your chest; Soothe me with holy song and prayer, And let my spirit find rest.’”
CHAPTER V. MILITARY SOCIETY.
“My trust Like a good parent did beget of him A falsehood in its contrary as great As my trust was, which had indeed no limit.”—TEMPEST.
“My trust Like a good parent did bring forth in him A lie as significant as the trust I had, Which truly knew no bounds.”—TEMPEST.
Rose found the wheeled chair, to which her aunt gave the preference, was engaged, and shaking her little discreet head at “the shakey chair” and “the stuffy chair,” she turned pensively homeward, and was speeding down Mackarel Lane, when she was stayed by the words, “My little girl!” and the grandest and most bearded gentleman she had ever seen, demanded, “Can you tell me if Miss Williams lives here?”
Rose found the wheelchair, which her aunt preferred, was taken, and shaking her little head at “the shaky chair” and “the stuffy chair,” she turned thoughtfully toward home and was quickly heading down Mackarel Lane when she was stopped by the words, “My little girl!” A grand, bearded gentleman, the most distinguished she had ever seen, asked, “Can you tell me if Miss Williams lives here?”
“My aunt?” exclaimed Rose, gazing up with her pretty, frightened-fawn look.
“My aunt?” Rose exclaimed, looking up with her pretty, scared-bambi expression.
“Indeed!” he exclaimed, looking eagerly at her, “then you are the child of a very old friend of mine! Did you never hear him speak of his old school-fellow, Colin Keith?”
“Absolutely!” he said, looking at her with excitement, “then you’re the child of a very old friend of mine! Didn’t you ever hear him mention his old school buddy, Colin Keith?”
“Papa is away,” said Rose, turning back her neck to get a full view of his face from under the brim of her hat.
“Dad is away,” said Rose, tilting her head back to get a full view of his face from under the brim of her hat.
“‘Will you run on and ask your aunt if she would like to see me?” he added.
“‘Can you go ask your aunt if she wants to see me?” he added.
Thus it was that Ermine heard the quick patter of the child’s steps, followed by the manly tread, and the words sounded in her ears, “Aunt Ermine, there’s a gentleman, and he has a great beard, and he says he is papa’s old friend! And here he is.”
Thus it was that Ermine heard the quick patter of the child’s steps, followed by the firm stride of a man, and the words rang in her ears, “Aunt Ermine, there’s a gentleman with a big beard, and he says he’s an old friend of Dad! And here he is.”
Ermine’s beaming eyes as absolutely met the new comer as though she had sprung forward. “I thought you would come,” she said, in a voice serene with exceeding bliss.
Ermine's bright eyes instantly connected with the newcomer as if she had jumped forward. "I knew you would come," she said, her voice calm and filled with joy.
“I have found you at last,” as their hands clasped; and they gazed into each other’s faces in the untroubled repose of the meeting, exclusive of all else.
"I've finally found you," they said as their hands joined together; and they looked into each other's faces, experiencing the calm serenity of the moment, shutting out everything else.
Ermine was the first to break silence. “Oh, Colin, you look worn and altered.”
Ermine was the first to speak up. “Oh, Colin, you look tired and different.”
“You don’t; you have kept your sunbeam face for me with the dear brown glow I never thought to have seen again. Why did they tell me you were an invalid, Ermine?”
“You haven’t; you’ve kept your sunny smile for me with that lovely brown glow I never thought I’d see again. Why did they say you were unwell, Ermine?”
“Have you not seen Alison?” she asked, supposing he would have known all.
“Have you seen Alison?” she asked, thinking he would know everything.
“I saw her, but did not hear her name, till just now at luncheon, when our looks met, and I saw it was not another disappointment.”
“I saw her, but I didn’t catch her name until just now at lunch, when our eyes met, and I realized it wasn’t going to be another disappointment.”
“And she knows you are come to me?”
“And she knows you’ve come to see me?”
“It was not in me to speak to her till I had recovered you! One can forgive, but not forget.”
“It wasn't in me to talk to her until I got you back! You can forgive, but you can't forget.”
“You will do more when you know her, and how she has only lived and worked for me, dear Ailie, and suffered far more than I—”
“You’ll do more once you understand her and how she has only lived and worked for me, dear Ailie, and endured much more than I have.”
“While I was suffering from being unable to do anything but live for you,” he repeated, taking up her words; “but that is ended now—” and as she made a negative motion of her head, “have you not trusted to me?”
“While I was struggling with only being able to live for you,” he repeated, echoing her words; “but that’s over now—” and as she shook her head in disagreement, “haven’t you put your trust in me?”
“I have thought you not living,” she said; “the last I know was your letter to dear Lady Alison, written from the hospital at Cape Town, after your wound. She was ill even when it came, and she could only give it to Ailie for me.”
“I thought you were dead,” she said; “the last I heard was your letter to dear Lady Alison, written from the hospital in Cape Town, after your injury. She was sick even when it arrived, and she could only pass it on to Ailie for me.”
“Dear good aunt, she got into trouble with all the family for our sake; and when she was gone no one would give me any tidings of you.”
“Dear sweet aunt, she got into trouble with the whole family for us; and when she left, no one would tell me anything about you.”
“It was her last disappointment that you were not sent home on sick leave. Did you get well too fast?”
“It was the last disappointment for her that you weren't sent home on sick leave. Did you recover too quickly?”
“Not exactly; but my father, or rather, I believe, my brother, intimated that I should be welcome only if I had laid aside a certain foolish fancy, and as lying on my back had not conduced to that end, I could only say I would stay where I was.”
“Not exactly; but my father, or rather, I think my brother, hinted that I would only be welcome if I had let go of a certain silly idea, and since lying on my back hadn’t helped with that, I could only say I would stay where I was.”
“And was it worse for you? I am sure, in spite of all that tanned skin, that your health has suffered. Ought you to have come home?”
“And was it harder for you? I’m sure, despite all that tanned skin, that your health has taken a hit. Should you have come home?”
“No, I do not know that London surgeons could have got at the ball,” he said, putting his hand on his chest, “and it gives me no trouble in general. I was such a spectacle when I returned to duty, that good old Sir Stephen Temple, always a proverb for making his staff a refuge for the infirm, made me his aide-de-camp, and was like a father to me.”
“No, I don’t know if the London surgeons could have removed the bullet,” he said, placing his hand on his chest, “and it usually doesn’t bother me. When I returned to duty, I was quite a sight, so good old Sir Stephen Temple, known for taking care of his staff, made me his aide-de-camp and treated me like a son.”
“Now I see why I never could find your name in any list of the officers in the moves of the regiment! I gave you quite up when I saw no Keith among those that came home from India. I did believe then that you were the Colonel Alexander Keith whose death I had seen mentioned, though I had long trusted to his not being honourable, nor having your first name.”
“Now I understand why I could never find your name on any list of the regiment's officers! I completely gave up when I didn’t see Keith among those who returned from India. At that point, I thought you were Colonel Alexander Keith, whose death I had read about, even though I had long doubted he was honorable or that he had your first name.”
“Ah! he succeeded to the command after Lady Temple’s father. A kind friend to me he was, and he left me in charge of his son and daughter. A very good and gallant fellow is that young Alick. I must bring him to see you some day—”
“Ah! he took over the command after Lady Temple’s father. He was a great friend to me, and he left me in charge of his son and daughter. That young Alick is a very good and brave guy. I have to bring him to meet you someday—”
“Oh! I saw his name; I remember! I gloried in the doings of a Keith; but I was afraid he had died, as there was no such name with the regiment when it came home.”
“Oh! I saw his name; I remember! I took pride in the actions of a Keith; but I was worried he had died, since there was no one by that name in the regiment when it returned home.”
“No, he was almost shattered to pieces; but Sir Stephen sent him up the hills to be nursed by Lady Temple and her mother, and he was sent home as soon as he could be moved. I was astonished to see how entirely he had recovered.”
“No, he was nearly broken to bits; but Sir Stephen had him sent to the hills to be looked after by Lady Temple and her mother, and he was brought home as soon as he was well enough to travel. I was amazed to see how completely he had bounced back.”
“Then you went through all that Indian war?”
“Did you really go through all that Indian war?”
“Yes; with Sir Stephen.”
"Yes, with Sir Stephen."
“You must show me all your medals! How much you have to tell me! And then—?”
“You have to show me all your medals! You have so much to share with me! And then—?”
“Just when the regiment was coming home, my dear old chief was appointed to the command in Australia, and insisted on my coming with him as military secretary. He had come to depend on me so much that I could not well leave him; and in five years there was the way to promotion and to claiming you at once. We were just settled there, when what I heard made me long to have decided otherwise, but I could not break with him then. I wrote to Edward, but had my letter returned to me.”
“Just when the regiment was coming home, my dear old boss was appointed to lead in Australia and insisted that I join him as military secretary. He had come to rely on me so much that I couldn’t leave him; and in five years, there was a clear path to promotion and to claiming you right away. We had just settled in when I heard something that made me wish I had chosen differently, but I couldn’t break away from him then. I wrote to Edward, but my letter was returned to me.”
“No wonder; Edward was abroad, all connexion broken.”
“No surprise; Edward was overseas, all connections severed.”
“I wrote to Beauchamp, and he knew nothing, and I could only wait till my chief’s time should be up. You know how it was cut short, and how the care of the poor little widow detained me till she was fit for the voyage. I came and sought you in vain in town. I went home, and found my brother lonely and dispirited. He has lost his son, his daughters are married, and he and I are all the brothers left out of the six! He was urgent that I should come and live with him and marry. I told him I would, with all my heart, when I had found you, and he saw I was too much in earnest to be opposed. Then I went to Beauchamp, but Harry knew nothing about any one. I tried to find out your sister and Dr. Long, but heard they were gone to Belfast.”
“I wrote to Beauchamp, and he didn’t know anything, and I could only wait until my boss’s time was up. You know how it ended abruptly, and how taking care of the poor widow kept me busy until she was ready for the journey. I came looking for you in the city but had no luck. I went home and found my brother feeling lonely and down. He’s lost his son, his daughters are married, and it’s just him and me left out of the six brothers! He insisted that I should come live with him and get married. I told him I would, wholeheartedly, once I found you, and he saw I was too sincere to argue with. Then I went to Beauchamp, but Harry didn’t know anything about anyone. I tried to track down your sister and Dr. Long, but I heard they had gone to Belfast.”
“Yes, they lost a good deal in the crash, and did not like retrenching among their neighbours, so they went to Ireland, and there they have a flourishing practice.”
“Yes, they lost a lot in the crash and didn’t want to cut back among their neighbors, so they went to Ireland, and there they have a successful practice.”
“I thought myself on my way there,” he said, smiling; “only I had first to settle Lady Temple, little guessing who was her treasure of a governess! Last night I had nearly opened, on another false scent; I fell in with a description that I could have sworn was yours, of the heather behind the parsonage. I made a note of the publisher in case all else had failed.”
“I thought I was on my way there,” he said, smiling; “but I had to take care of Lady Temple first, without realizing who her amazing governess was! Last night, I almost started chasing another lead; I came across a description that I could have sworn was yours, about the heather behind the parsonage. I made a note of the publisher just in case everything else fell through.”
“I’m glad you knew the scent of the thyme!”
“I’m glad you recognized the smell of the thyme!”
“Then it was no false scent?”
“Then it wasn't a false trail?”
“One must live, and I was thankful to do anything to lighten Ailie’s burthen. I wrote down that description that I might live in the place in fancy; and one day, when the contribution was wanted and I was hard up for ideas, I sent it, though I was loth to lay open that bit of home and heart.”
“One must live, and I was grateful to do anything to ease Ailie’s burden. I wrote down that description so I could imagine living in that place; and one day, when contributions were needed and I was struggling for ideas, I sent it in, even though I was reluctant to share that piece of home and heart.”
“Well it might give me the sense of meeting you! And in other papers of the series I traced your old self more ripened.”
"Well, it might give me the feeling of meeting you! And in other papers of the series, I saw your older self more developed."
“The editor was a friend of Edward’s, and in our London days he asked me to write letters on things in general, and when I said I saw the world through a key-hole, he answered that a circumscribed view gained in distinctness. Most kind and helpful he has been, and what began between sport and need to say out one’s mind has come to be a resource for which we are very thankful. He sends us books for reviewal, and that is pleasant and improving, not to say profitable.”
“The editor was a friend of Edward’s, and during our time in London, he asked me to write letters about various topics. When I said I viewed the world through a keyhole, he responded that a limited perspective can make things clearer. He has been very kind and supportive, and what started as a mix of fun and a need to express myself has turned into a source of gratitude for us. He sends us books to review, which is enjoyable and enlightening, not to mention beneficial.”
“Little did I think you were in such straits!” he said, stroking the child’s head, and waiting as though her presence were a restraint on inquiries, but she eagerly availed herself of the pause. “Aunt Ermine, please what shall I say about the chairs? Will you have the nice one and Billy when they come home? I was to take the answer, only you did talk so that I could not ask!”
“Wow, I had no idea you were in such a tough spot!” he said, gently running his fingers through the child's hair, pausing as if her presence was stopping him from asking more questions, but she quickly took advantage of the break. “Aunt Ermine, what should I say about the chairs? Are you going to keep the nice one and Billy when they get home? I was supposed to take the answer, but you talked so much that I couldn’t ask!”
“Thank you, my dear; I don’t want chairs nor anything else while I can talk so,” she answered, smiling. “You had better take a run in the garden when you come back;” and Rose replied with a nod of assent that made the colonel smile and say, “Good-bye then, my sweet Lady Discretion, some day we will be better acquainted.”
“Thanks, my dear; I don’t need chairs or anything else while we can chat like this,” she replied, smiling. “You should go for a quick walk in the garden when you come back;” and Rose nodded in agreement, which made the colonel smile and say, “Goodbye then, my lovely Lady Discretion. One day we’ll get to know each other better.”
“Dear child,” said Ermine, “she is our great blessing, and some day I trust will be the same to her dear father. Oh, Colin! it is too much to hope that you have not believed what you must have heard! And yet you wrote to him.”
“Dear child,” said Ermine, “she is our great blessing, and someday I hope she will be the same for her dear father. Oh, Colin! It’s too much to hope that you haven't believed what you must have heard! And yet you wrote to him.”
“Nay, I could not but feel great distrust of what I heard, since I was also told that his sisters were unconvinced; and besides, I had continually seen him at school the victim of other people’s faults.”
“Nah, I couldn’t help but feel really suspicious of what I heard, since I was also told that his sisters weren’t convinced; plus, I had constantly seen him at school being the victim of other people’s mistakes.”
“This is best of all,” exclaimed Ermine, with glistening eyes, and hand laid upon his; “it is the most comfortable word I have heard since it happened. Yes, indeed, many a time before I saw you, had I heard of ‘Keith’ as the friend who saw him righted. Oh, Colin! thanks, thanks for believing in him more than for all!”
“This is the best of all,” exclaimed Ermine, her eyes shining and her hand resting on his; “this is the most reassuring thing I’ve heard since it happened. Yes, many times before I met you, I heard about ‘Keith’ as the friend who helped him get back on track. Oh, Colin! Thank you, thank you for believing in him more than anything else!”
“Not believing, but knowing,” he answered—“knowing both you and Edward. Besides, is it not almost invariable that the inventor is ruined by his invention—a Prospero by nature?”
“Not by faith, but by understanding,” he replied—“understanding both you and Edward. Plus, isn’t it almost always the case that the inventor gets destroyed by their invention—a Prospero by nature?”
“It was not the invention,” she answered; “that throve as long as my father lived.”
“It wasn’t the invention,” she replied; “it thrived as long as my father was alive.”
“Yes, he was an excellent man of business.”
“Yes, he was a great businessman.”
“And he thought the concern so secure that there was no danger in embarking all the available capital of the family in it, and it did bring us in a very good income.”
“And he thought the investment was so safe that there was no risk in putting all the family’s money into it, and it did bring us a really good income.”
“I remember that it struck me that the people at home would find that they had made a mistake after all, and missed a fortune for me! It was an invention for diminishing the fragility of glass under heat; was it not?”
“I remember realizing that the people back home would discover they had made a mistake after all and missed out on a fortune for me! It was a device for making glass less fragile under heat; wasn’t it?”
“Yes, and the manufacture was very prosperous, so that my father was quite at ease about us. After his death we made a home for Edward in London, and looked after him when he used to be smitten with some new idea and forgot all sublunary matters. When he married we went to live at Richmond, and had his dear little wife very much with us, for she was a delicate tender creature, half killed by London. In process of time he fell in with a man named Maddox, plausible and clever, who became a sort of manager, especially while Edward was in his trances of invention; and at all times knew more about his accounts than he did himself. Nothing but my father’s authority had ever made him really look into them, and this man took them all off his hands. There was a matter about the glass that Edward was bent on ascertaining, and he went to study the manufacture in Bohemia, taking his wife with him, and leaving Rose with us. Shortly after, Dr. Long and Harry Beauchamp received letters asking for a considerable advance, to be laid out on the materials that this improvement would require. Immediately afterwards came the crash.”
“Yes, and the business was really successful, so my father was quite relaxed about us. After he passed away, we created a home for Edward in London and took care of him whenever he got lost in some new idea and forgot everything else. When he got married, we moved to Richmond, and his sweet little wife spent a lot of time with us because she was a delicate soul, worn out by life in London. Over time, he met a guy named Maddox, who was charming and smart, and he became a sort of manager, especially while Edward was deep into his inventions; he always knew more about the finances than Edward did. My father’s authority had been the only reason Edward ever really checked his accounts, and this guy took all of that off his plate. There was a specific issue about the glass that Edward was determined to figure out, so he went to study the manufacturing process in Bohemia, taking his wife with him and leaving Rose with us. Shortly after that, Dr. Long and Harry Beauchamp got letters requesting a significant advance for the materials needed for this improvement. Almost immediately after, everything fell apart.”
“Exactly what I heard. Of course the letters were written in ignorance of what was impending.”
“Exactly what I heard. Of course, the letters were written without knowledge of what was about to happen.”
“Colin, they were never written at all by Edward! He denied all knowledge of them. Alison saw Dr. Long’s, most ingeniously managed—foreign paper and all—but she could swear to the forgery—”
“Colin, Edward never wrote them at all! He claimed he didn’t know anything about them. Alison saw Dr. Long’s, which was managed really cleverly—foreign paper and all—but she could definitely swear it’s a forgery—”
“You suspect this Maddox?”
“You think it’s Maddox?”
“Most strongly! He knew the state of the business; Edward did not. And he had a correspondence that would have enabled so ingenious a person easily to imitate Edward’s letters. I do not wonder at their having been taken in; but how Julia—how Harry Beauchamp could believe—what they do believe. Oh, Colin! it will not do to think about it!”
“Definitely! He was aware of the business situation; Edward was not. And he had connections that would have allowed someone as clever as him to easily replicate Edward’s letters. I’m not surprised they got duped; but how Julia—how Harry Beauchamp could believe—what they believe. Oh, Colin! It’s not good to dwell on it!”
“Oh, that I had been at home! Were no measures taken?”
“Oh, if only I had been at home! Was nothing done?”
“Alas! alas! we urged Edward to come home and clear himself; but that poor little wife of his was terrified beyond measure, imagined prisons and trials. She was unable to move, and he could not leave her; she took from him an unhappy promise not to put himself in what she fancied danger from the law, and then died, leaving him a baby that did not live a day. He was too broken-hearted to care for vindicating himself, and no one-no one would do it for him!”
“Sadly! Sadly! we begged Edward to come home and prove his innocence; but that poor little wife of his was so scared, imagining prisons and trials. She couldn’t move, and he couldn’t leave her; she got him to promise unhappily not to get himself into what she thought was danger from the law, and then she died, leaving him with a baby that didn’t survive even a day. He was too heartbroken to think about clearing his name, and no one—no one would do it for him!”
Colonel Keith frowned and clenched the hand that lay in his grasp till it was absolute pain, but pain that was a relief to feel. “Madness, madness!” he said. “Miserable! But how was it at home—? Did this Maddox stand his ground?”
Colonel Keith frowned and tightened his grip on the hand in his grasp until it hurt, but it was a relief to feel something. “Insanity, pure insanity!” he said. “It's awful! But what was it like at home—? Did this Maddox hold his ground?”
“Yes, if he had fled, all would have been clear, but he doctored the accounts his own way, and quite satisfied Dr. Long and Harry. He showed Edward’s receipt for the £6000 that had been advanced, and besides, there was a large sum not accounted for, which was, of course, supposed to have been invested abroad by Edward—some said gambled away—as if he had not had a regular hatred of all sorts of games.”
“Yes, if he had run away, everything would have been obvious, but he manipulated the accounts to suit himself, and Dr. Long and Harry were completely satisfied. He presented Edward’s receipt for the £6000 that had been given, and on top of that, there was a significant amount unaccounted for, which was supposedly invested abroad by Edward—some said it was wasted on gambling—as if he didn’t have a deep aversion to all kinds of games.”
“Edward with his head in the clouds! One notion is as likely as the other.—Then absolutely nothing was done!”
“Edward with his head in the clouds! One idea is just as likely as the other.—Then absolutely nothing was done!”
“Nothing! The bankruptcy was declared, the whole affair broken up; and certainly if every one had not known Edward to be the most heedless of men, the confusion would have justified them in thinking him a dishonest one. Things had been done in his name by Maddox that might have made a stranger think him guilty of the rest, but to those who had ever known his abstraction, and far more his real honour and uprightness, nothing could have been plainer.”
“Nothing! The bankruptcy was declared, and the whole situation fell apart; and certainly, if everyone didn't already know Edward as the most careless of men, the chaos would have led them to think he was dishonest. There were actions taken in his name by Maddox that might have made a stranger believe he was guilty of everything else, but to those who had ever experienced his absent-mindedness, and even more so his true honor and integrity, nothing could have been more obvious.”
“It all turned upon his absence.”
“It all depended on his absence.”
“Yes, he must have borne the brunt of what had been done in his name, I know; that would have been bad enough, but in a court of justice, his whole character would have been shown, and besides, a prosecution for forgery of his receipt would have shown what Maddox was, sufficiently to exculpate him.”
“Yes, he must have dealt with the fallout from what was done in his name, I know; that would have been bad enough, but in a court of justice, his true character would have been revealed, and besides, a prosecution for forging his receipt would have exposed what Maddox really was, enough to clear him.”
“And you say the losers by the deception would not believe in it?”
“And you think the people who were deceived wouldn’t believe it?”
“No, they only shook their heads at our weak sisterly affection.”
“No, they just shook their heads at our feeble sisterly love.”
“I wish I could see one of those letters. Where is Maddox now?”
“I wish I could see one of those letters. Where’s Maddox now?”
“I cannot tell. He certainly did not go away immediately after the settlement of accounts, but it has not been possible to us to keep up a knowledge of his movements, or something might have turned up to justify Edward. Oh, what it is to be helpless women! You are the very first person, Colin, who has not looked at me pityingly, like a creature to be forborne with an undeniable delusion!”
“I can't say. He definitely didn’t leave right after we settled the accounts, but we haven’t been able to keep track of his movements, or else something might have come up to defend Edward. Oh, what it’s like to be helpless women! You’re the very first person, Colin, who hasn't looked at me with pity, like I’m some sort of deluded creature to be tolerated!”
“They must be very insolent people, then, to look at that brow and eyes, and think even sisterly love could blind them,” he said. “Yes, Ermine, I was certain that unless Edward were more changed than I could believe, there must be some such explanation. You have never seen him since?”
"They must be really arrogant people to look at that forehead and eyes and think even sisterly love could blind them," he said. "Yes, Ermine, I was sure that unless Edward had changed more than I could imagine, there had to be some explanation for this. You haven't seen him since?"
“No, he was too utterly broken by the loss of his wife to feel anything else. For a long time we heard nothing, and that was the most dreadful time of all! Then he wrote from a little German town, where he was getting his bread as a photographer’s assistant. And since that he has cast about the world, till just now he has some rather interesting employment at the mines in the Oural Mountains, the first thing he has really seemed to like or care for.”
“No, he was too completely shattered by the loss of his wife to feel anything else. For a long time, we heard nothing, and that was the worst part! Then he wrote from a small German town, where he was working as a photographer’s assistant. Since then, he has traveled the world, and just now he has some pretty interesting work at the mines in the Ural Mountains, which is the first thing he has actually seemed to enjoy or care about.”
“The Oural Mountains! that is out of reach. I wish I could see him. One might find some means of clearing him. What directed your suspicion to Maddox?”
“The Ural Mountains! That feels impossible to reach. I wish I could see him. Maybe we could find a way to clear him. What made you suspicious of Maddox?”
“Chiefly that the letters professed to have been sent in a parcel to him to be posted from the office. If it had been so, Edward and Lucy would certainly have written to us at the same time. I could have shown, too, that Maddox had written to me the day before to ascertain where Edward was, so as to be sure of the date. It was a little country village, and I made a blunder in copying the spelling from Lucy’s writing. Ailie found that very blunder repeated in Dr. Long’s letter, and we showed him that Edward did not write it so. Besides, before going abroad, Edward had lost the seal-ring with his crest, which you gave him. You remember the Saxon’s head?”
“Mainly because the letters claimed to have been sent in a package to him to be mailed from the office. If that were true, Edward and Lucy would definitely have written to us at the same time. I could also show that Maddox had contacted me the day before to find out where Edward was, just to confirm the date. It was a small country village, and I made a mistake when copying the spelling from Lucy’s handwriting. Ailie found that same error repeated in Dr. Long’s letter, and we pointed out to him that Edward didn’t write it that way. Also, before going abroad, Edward lost the seal ring with his crest that you gave him. Do you remember the Saxon’s head?”
“I remember! You all took it much to heart that the engraver had made it a Saracen’s head, and not a long-haired Saxon.”
“I remember! You all took it really seriously that the engraver had made it a Saracen’s head and not a long-haired Saxon.”
“Well, Edward had renewed the ring, and taken care to make it a Saxon. Now Ailie could get no one to believe her, but she is certain that the letter was sealed with the old Saracen not the new Saxon. But—but—if you had but been there—”
“Well, Edward had redone the ring and made sure it was Saxon. Now Ailie couldn’t get anyone to believe her, but she’s sure that the letter was sealed with the old Saracen, not the new Saxon. But—but—if only you’d been there—”
“Tell me you wished for me, Ermine.”
“Tell me you wished for me, Ermine.”
“I durst not wish anything about you,” she said, looking up through a mist of tears.
“I didn’t dare to wish for anything concerning you,” she said, looking up through a haze of tears.
“And you, what fixed you here?”
“And you, what brought you here?”
“An old servant of ours had married and settled here, and had written to us of her satisfaction in finding that the clergyman was from Hereford. We thought he would recommend Ailie as daily governess to visitors, and that Sarah would be a comfortable landlady. It has answered very well; Rose deserves her name far more than when we brought her here, and it is wonderful how much better I have been since doctors have become a mere luxury.”
“An old servant of ours got married and settled down here. She wrote to us about how happy she was to discover that the clergyman was from Hereford. We thought he would recommend Ailie as a daily governess for visitors, and that Sarah would be a nice landlady. It has worked out really well; Rose deserves her name much more now than when we first brought her here, and it’s amazing how much better I’ve been since seeing doctors has become just an occasional luxury.”
“Do you, can you really mean that you are supporting yourselves?”
“Do you really mean that you’re supporting yourselves?”
“All but twenty-five pounds a year, from a legacy to us, that Mr. Beauchamp would not let them touch. But it has been most remarkable, Colin,” she said, with the dew in her eyes, “how we have never wanted our daily bread, and how happy we have been! If it had not been for Edward, this would in many ways have been our happiest time. Since the old days the little frets have told less, and Ailie has been infinitely happier and brighter since she has had to work instead of only to watch me. Ah, Colin, must I not own to having been happy? Indeed it was very much because peace had come when the suspense had sunk into belief that I might think of you as—, where you would not be grieved by the sight of what I am now—”
“All but twenty-five pounds a year, from an inheritance to us, that Mr. Beauchamp wouldn’t let them touch. But it’s been really remarkable, Colin,” she said, with tears in her eyes, “how we’ve never been without our daily bread, and how happy we’ve been! If it hadn’t been for Edward, this could have been our happiest time in many ways. Since the old days, the little annoyances have bothered us less, and Ailie has been so much happier and brighter since she’s had to work instead of just watching me. Ah, Colin, can I not admit that I’ve been happy? It was truly because peace came when the uncertainty turned into belief that I could think of you as—, where you wouldn’t be upset by seeing what I am now—”
As she spoke, a knock, not at the house, but at the room door, made them both start, and impel their chairs to a more ordinary distance, just as Rachel Curtis made her entrance, extremely amazed to find, not Mr. Touchett, but a much greater foe and rival in that unexpected quarter. Ermine, the least disconcerted, was the first to speak. “You are surprised to find a visitor here,” she said, “and indeed only now, did we find out that ‘our military secretary,’ as your little cousins say, was our clear old squire’s nephew.”
As she was talking, a knock at the room door made them both jump and push their chairs apart to a more comfortable distance, just as Rachel Curtis walked in, very surprised to see not Mr. Touchett, but a much bigger opponent and rival in that unexpected situation. Ermine, the least thrown off, was the first to talk. “You’re surprised to see a visitor here,” she said, “and we just now realized that ‘our military secretary,’ as your little cousins put it, is our good old squire’s nephew.”
There was a ring of gladness in the usually patient voice that struck even Rachel, though she was usually too eager to be observant, but she was still unready with talk for the occasion, and Ermine continued: “We had heard so much of the Major before-hand, that we had a sort of Jupiter-like expectation of the coming man. I am not sure that I shall not go on expecting a mythic major!”
There was a tone of happiness in the usually calm voice that caught even Rachel's attention, even though she was usually too eager to notice it. However, she still wasn't quite ready to speak for the moment, and Ermine continued: “We had heard so much about the Major beforehand that we had a kind of grand expectation of the man who was coming. I’m not sure I won’t keep expecting a legendary major!”
Rachel, never understanding playfulness, thought this both audacious and unnecessary, and if it had come from any one else, would have administered a snub, but she felt the invalid sacred from her weapons.
Rachel, who never grasped the concept of playfulness, found this both bold and unnecessary. If it had come from anyone else, she would have shot back with a snarky remark, but she considered the invalid off-limits for her usual sharpness.
“Have you ever seen the boys?” asked Colonel Keith. “I am rather proud of Conrade, my pupil; he is so chivalrous towards his mother.”
“Have you seen the boys?” asked Colonel Keith. “I’m pretty proud of Conrade, my student; he’s really chivalrous towards his mom.”
“Alison has brought down a division or two to show me. How much alike they are.”
“Alison has brought down a division or two to show me. They are so similar.”
“Exactly alike, and excessively unruly and unmanageable,” said Rachel. “I pity your sister.”
“Exactly the same, and way too wild and uncontrollable,” said Rachel. “I feel sorry for your sister.”
“More unmanageable in appearance than in reality,” said the colonel: “there’s always a little trial of strength against the hand over them, and they yield when they find it is really a hand. They were wonderfully good and considerate when it was an object to keep the house quiet.”
“More unmanageable in appearance than in reality,” said the colonel: “there’s always a bit of a struggle for control over them, and they give in when they realize it’s a real hand. They were surprisingly good and considerate when it was important to keep the house quiet.”
Rachel would not encourage him to talk of Lady Temple, so she turned to Ermine on the business that had brought her, collecting and adapting old clothes for emigrants.—It was not exactly gentlemen’s pastime, and Ermine tried to put it aside and converse, but Rachel never permitted any petty consideration to interfere with a useful design, and as there was a press of time for the things, she felt herself justified in driving the intruder off the field and outstaying him. She succeeded; he recollected the desire of the boys that he should take them to inspect the pony at the “Jolly Mariner,” and took leave with—“I shall see you to-morrow.”
Rachel wasn't going to encourage him to talk about Lady Temple, so she focused on Ermine and the task that had brought her there: collecting and adapting old clothes for emigrants. It wasn't exactly a pastime for gentlemen, and Ermine tried to shift the conversation, but Rachel wouldn’t let any minor distractions interfere with a worthwhile goal. Since time was running out for the clothes, she felt justified in pushing him out of the way and staying longer. She succeeded; he remembered the boys wanted him to take them to check out the pony at the “Jolly Mariner,” and he left with, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You knew him all the time!” exclaimed Rachel, pausing in her unfolding of the Master Temples’ ship wardrobe. “Why did you not say so?”
“You knew him all along!” Rachel exclaimed, stopping her unpacking of the Master Temple's ship wardrobe. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“We did not know his name. He was always the ‘Major.’”
“We didn’t know his name. He was always just ‘the Major.’”
“Who, and what is he?” demanded Rachel, as she knelt before her victim, fixing those great prominent eyes, so like those of Red Riding Hood’s grandmother, that Ermine involuntarily gave a backward impulse to her wheeled chair, as she answered the readiest thing that occurred to her,—“He is brother to Lord Keith of Gowan-brae.”
“Who is he, and what does he want?” Rachel asked as she knelt in front of her victim, staring with those big, prominent eyes, just like Red Riding Hood’s grandmother. Ermine instinctively pulled back in her wheeled chair and replied with the first thing that came to mind, “He is the brother of Lord Keith of Gowan-brae.”
“Oh,” said Rachel, kneeling on meditatively, “that accounts for it. So much the worse. The staff is made up of idle honourables.”
“Oh,” said Rachel, kneeling thoughtfully, “that explains it. That’s even worse. The staff is made up of lazy aristocrats.”
“Quoth the ‘Times!’” replied Ermine; “but his appointment began on account of a wound, and went on because of his usefulness—”
“According to the 'Times!'” replied Ermine; “but his appointment started due to an injury, and continued because he was useful—”
“Wounded! I don’t like wounded heroes,” said Rachel; “people make such a fuss with them that they always get spoilt.”
“Wounded! I don’t like injured heroes,” said Rachel; “people make such a big deal out of them that they always end up getting spoiled.”
“This was nine years ago, so you may forget it if you like,” said Ermine, diversion suppressing displeasure.
“this was nine years ago, so you can forget it if you want,” said Ermine, hiding her annoyance with a casual tone.
“And what is your opinion of him?” said Rachel, edging forward on her knees, so as to bring her inquisitorial eyes to bear more fully.
“And what do you think of him?” Rachel asked, leaning forward on her knees to direct her curious gaze more effectively.
“I had not seen him for twelve years,” said Ermine, rather faintly.
“I hadn’t seen him for twelve years,” Ermine said quietly.
“He must have had a formed character when you saw him last. The twelve years before five-and-forty don’t alter the nature.”
"He must have had a strong personality when you saw him last. The twelve years before forty-five don't change who he really is."
“Five-and-forty! Illness and climate have told, but I did not think it was so much. He is only thirty-six—”
“Forty-five! Illness and the weather have taken their toll, but I didn’t realize it was that much. He’s only thirty-six—”
“That is not what I care about,” said Rachel, “you are both of you so cautious that you tell me what amounts to nothing! You should consider how important it is to me to know something about the person in whose power my cousin’s affairs are left.”
“That’s not what I care about,” Rachel said. “You’re both so cautious that you tell me basically nothing! You should think about how important it is for me to know something about the person in whose hands my cousin’s affairs are left.”
“Have you not sufficient guarantee in the very fact of her husband’s confidence?”
“Don’t you have enough assurance in the simple fact that her husband trusts her?”
“I don’t know. A simple-hearted old soldier always means a very foolish old man.”
"I don’t know. An easygoing old soldier usually means a very foolish old man."
“Witness the Newcomes,” said Ermine, who, besides her usual amusement in tracing Rachel’s dicta to their source, could only keep in her indignation by laughing.
“Check out the Newcomes,” said Ermine, who, in addition to her usual fun of figuring out where Rachel's comments came from, could only contain her frustration by laughing.
“General observation,” said Rachel, not to be turned from her purpose. “I am not foolishly suspicious, but it is not pleasant to see great influence and intimacy without some knowledge of the person exercising it.”
“General observation,” Rachel said, determined to stay on track. “I’m not being overly suspicious, but it’s unsettling to see someone have so much influence and closeness without knowing anything about them.”
“I think,” said Ermine, bringing herself with difficulty to answer quietly, “that you can hardly understand the terms they are on without having seen how much a staff officer becomes one of the family.”
“I think,” said Ermine, forcing herself to respond calmly, “that you can hardly grasp the terms they're on without seeing how much a staff officer becomes part of the family.”
“I suppose much must be allowed for the frivolity and narrowness of a military set in a colony. Imagine my one attempt at rational conversation last night. Asking his views on female emigration, absolutely he had none at all; he and Fanny only went off upon a nursemaid married to a sergeant!”
“I guess you have to overlook the silliness and narrow-mindedness of a military crowd in a colony. Just think about my one try at having a serious conversation last night. When I asked him what he thought about women moving abroad, he had no opinion at all; he and Fanny just started talking about a nanny who married a sergeant!”
“Perhaps the bearings of the question would hardly suit mixed company.”
“Maybe the way the question is phrased wouldn’t be appropriate for a mixed group.”
“To be sure there was a conceited young officer there; for as ill luck will have it, my uncle’s old regiment is quartered at Avoncester, and I suppose they will all be coming after Fanny. It is well they are no nearer, and as this colonel says he is going to Belfast in a day or two, there will not be much provocation to them to come here. Now this great event of the Major’s coming is over, we will try to put Fanny upon a definite system, and I look to you and your sister as a great assistance to me, in counteracting the follies and nonsenses that her situation naturally exposes her to. I have been writing a little sketch of the dangers of indecision, that I thought of sending to the ‘Traveller.’ It would strike Fanny to see there what I so often tell her; but I can’t get an answer about my paper on ‘Curatocult,’ as you made me call it.”
“To be sure, there was a self-important young officer there; because, as luck would have it, my uncle’s old regiment is stationed at Avoncester, and I imagine they'll all be coming after Fanny. It’s a good thing they’re not any closer, and since this colonel says he’s heading to Belfast in a day or two, there won’t be much reason for them to come here. Now that the big event of the Major’s visit is over, we’ll try to put Fanny on a solid plan, and I look to you and your sister to help me counteract the foolishness and nonsense that her situation naturally exposes her to. I’ve been writing a little piece about the dangers of indecision that I thought about sending to the ‘Traveller.’ It would impact Fanny to see in print what I always tell her; but I can’t get a response about my paper on ‘Curatocult,’ as you made me call it.”
“Did I!”
“Did I really!”
“You said the other word was of two languages. I can’t think why they don’t insert it; but in the meantime I will bring down my ‘Human Reeds,’ and show them to you. I have only an hour’s work on them; so I’ll come to-morrow afternoon.”
“You mentioned that the other word was from two languages. I don't understand why they haven’t included it; but for now, I’ll bring down my 'Human Reeds' and show them to you. I’ve only got an hour’s work left on them, so I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon.”
“I think Colonel Keith talked of calling again—thank you,” suggested Ermine in despair.
“I think Colonel Keith mentioned he might come by again—thank you,” Ermine suggested, feeling hopeless.
“Ah, yes, one does not want to be liable to interruptions in the most interesting part. When he is gone to Belfast—”
“Ah, yes, you really don’t want to be interrupted in the most interesting part. When he’s off to Belfast—”
“Yes, when he is gone to Belfast!” repeated Ermine, with an irresistible gleam of mirth about her lips and eyes, and at that moment Alison made her appearance. The looks of the sisters met, and read one another so far as to know that the meeting was over, and for the rest they endured, while Rachel remained, little imagining the trial her presence had been to Alison’s burning heart—sick anxiety and doubt. How could it be well? Let him be loveable, let him be constant, that only rendered Ermine’s condition the more pitiable, and the shining glance of her eyes was almost more than Alison could bear. So happy as the sisters had been together, so absolutely united, it did seem hard to disturb that calm life with hopes and agitations that must needs be futile; and Alison, whose whole life and soul were in her sister, could not without a pang see that sister’s heart belonging to another, and not for hopeful joy, but pain and grief. The yearning of jealousy was sternly reproved and forced down, and told that Ermine had long been Colin Keith’s, that the perpetrator of the evil had the least right of any one to murmur that her own monopoly of her sister was interfered with; that she was selfish, unkind, envious; that she had only to hate herself and pray for strength to bear the punishment, without alloying Ermine’s happiness while it lasted. How it could be so bright Alison knew not, but so it was she recognised by every tone of the voice, by every smile on the lip, by even the upright vigour with which Ermine sat in her chair and undertook Rachel’s tasks of needlework.
“Yes, when he’s gone to Belfast!” Ermine said again, with a playful sparkle in her eyes and on her lips, just as Alison walked in. The sisters exchanged glances, understanding that the moment had passed, and they braced themselves while Rachel stayed, completely unaware of the turmoil her presence was causing in Alison’s anxious heart. How could this turn out well? Even if he was lovable and faithful, it only made Ermine’s situation more tragic, and the bright look in her eyes was almost too much for Alison to bear. The sisters had shared such happiness and unity that it felt cruel to disrupt their peaceful life with hopes and worries that would surely be in vain. Alison, whose entire being was tied to her sister, felt a deep ache seeing Ermine’s heart belong to someone else, and not for joyful reasons, but out of pain and sorrow. The sting of jealousy was harshly silenced and pushed down, reminding her that Ermine had long been Colin Keith’s, that she had no right to complain about her own claim on her sister being challenged; it pointed out her selfishness, unkindness, and envy, telling her to simply hate herself and pray for the strength to accept the situation without tainting Ermine’s happiness while it lasted. Alison couldn’t understand how things could be so bright, but she recognized it in every tone of Ermine's voice, every smile on her lips, and even in the energetic way Ermine sat in her chair, tackling Rachel’s sewing tasks.
And yet, when the visitor rose at last to go, Alison was almost unwilling to be alone with her sister, and have that power of sympathy put to the test by those clear eyes that were wont to see her through and through. She went with Rachel to the door, and stood taking a last instruction, hearing it not at all, but answering, and relieved by the delay, hardly knowing whether to be glad or not that when she returned Rose was leaning on the arm of her aunt’s chair with the most eager face. But Rose was to be no protection, for what was passing between her and her aunt?
And yet, when the visitor finally stood up to leave, Alison felt almost hesitant about being left alone with her sister, knowing that those clear eyes were always able to see right through her and test her ability to feel sympathy. She walked with Rachel to the door and stood there, getting the last bit of instructions that she didn't really pay attention to, but responded anyway. She felt relieved by the delay, unsure whether to be glad or not that when she returned, Rose was leaning on the arm of their aunt’s chair with the most eager expression on her face. But Rose wouldn’t be any help, as what was happening between her and their aunt?
“O auntie, I am go glad he is coming back. He is just like the picture you drew of Robert Bruce for me. And he is so kind. I never saw any gentleman speak to you in such: a nice soft voice.”
“O auntie, I'm so glad he's coming back. He's just like the picture you drew of Robert Bruce for me. And he's so kind. I've never seen a gentleman speak to you in such a nice, soft voice.”
Alison had no difficulty in smiling as Ermine stroked the child’s hair, kissed her, and looked up with an arch, blushing, glittering face that could not have been brighter those long twelve years ago.
Alison had no trouble smiling as Ermine stroked the child’s hair, kissed her, and looked up with a playful, blushing, sparkling face that hadn’t been brighter in those long twelve years ago.
And then Rose turned round, impatient to tell her other aunt her story. “O aunt Ailie, we have had such a gentleman here, with a great brown beard like a picture. And he is papa’s old friend, and kissed me because I am papa’s little girl, and I do like him so very much. I went where I could look at him in the garden, when you sent me out, aunt Ermine.”
And then Rose turned around, eager to share her story with her other aunt. “Oh Aunt Ailie, we had such a gentleman here, with a big brown beard like a picture. He’s my dad’s old friend and he kissed me because I’m my dad’s little girl, and I really like him a lot. I went to a spot where I could see him in the garden when you sent me outside, Aunt Ermine.”
“You did, you monkey?” said Ermine, laughing, and blushing again. “What will you do if I send you out next time? No, I won’t then, my dear, for all the time, I should like you to see him and know him.”
“You did, you silly?” said Ermine, laughing and blushing again. “What will you do if I send you out next time? No, I won’t do that, my dear, because all the while, I want you to meet him and get to know him.”
“Only, if you want to talk of anything very particular,” observed Rose.
“Just, if you want to discuss something specific,” Rose pointed out.
“I don’t think I need ask many questions,” said Alison, smiling being happily made very easy to her. “Dear Ermine, I see you are perfectly satisfied—”
“I don’t think I need to ask many questions,” said Alison, smiling as it came easily to her. “Dear Ermine, I see you are perfectly satisfied—”
“O Ailie, that is no word for it! Not only himself, but to find him loving Rose for her father’s sake, undoubting of him through all. Ailie, the thankfulness of it is more than one can bear.”
“O Ailie, that’s not the right way to say it! Not only does he love her, but he also loves Rose for her father’s sake, believing in him completely. Ailie, the gratitude of it is more than anyone can handle.”
“And he is the same?” said Alison.
“And he’s still the same?” said Alison.
“The same—no, not the same. It is more, better, or I am able to feel it more. It was just like the morrow of the day he walked down the lane with me and gathered honeysuckles, only the night between has been a very, very strange time.”
“The same—no, not the same. It's more, better, or I'm just able to feel it more. It was just like the day after he walked down the lane with me and picked honeysuckles, except the night in between has been really, really strange.”
“I hope the interruption did not come very soon.”
“I hope the interruption didn't happen too soon.”
“I thought it was directly, but it could not have been so soon, since you are come home. We had just had time to tell what we most wanted to know, and I know a little more of what he is. I feel as if it were not only Colin again, but ten times Colin. O Ailie, it must be a little bit like the meetings in heaven!”
“I thought it was immediate, but it couldn’t have been so soon, since you’ve come home. We had just enough time to share what we most wanted to know, and I understand a bit more about who he is. I feel like it’s not just Colin again, but ten times Colin. Oh Ailie, it must be a little like the reunions in heaven!”
“I believe it is so with you,” said Alison, scarcely able to keep the tears from her eyes.
“I think it’s the same for you,” said Alison, barely able to hold back her tears.
“After sometimes not daring to dwell on him, and then only venturing because I thought he must be dead, to have him back again with the same looks, only deeper—to find that he clung to those weeks so long ago, and, above all, that there was not one cloud, one doubt about the troubles—Oh, it is too, too much.”
“After not daring to think about him for a while, and then only allowing myself to do so because I figured he must be dead, to see him again with the same expression, only more intense—to realize that he was still holding onto those weeks from long ago, and, most importantly, that there wasn't a single cloud, not one doubt about the troubles—Oh, it's just too much.”
Ermine lent back with clasped hands. She was like one weary with happiness, and lain to rest in the sense of newly-won peace. She said little more that evening, and if spoken to, seemed like one wakened out of a dream, so that more than once she laughed at herself, begged her sister’s pardon, and said that it seemed to her that she could not hear anything for the one glad voice that rang in her ear, “Colin is come home.” That was sufficient for her, no need for any other sympathy, felt Alison, with another of those pangs crushed down. Then wonder came—whether Ermine could really contemplate the future, or if it were absolutely lost in the present?
Ermine leaned back with her hands folded. She looked like someone exhausted by happiness, finally at rest with a newfound sense of peace. She said little more that evening, and when someone spoke to her, she seemed as if she had just woken from a dream. More than once, she laughed at herself, apologized to her sister, and said it felt like she couldn't hear anything except the one joyous voice echoing in her ears, "Colin is back home." That was enough for her; Alison sensed there was no need for any further sympathy, feeling a pang buried deep inside. Then she wondered—could Ermine really think about the future, or was she completely lost in the moment?
Colonel Keith went back to be seized by Conrade and Francis, and walked off to the pony inspection, the two boys, on either side of him, communicating to him the great grievance of living in a poky place like this, where nobody had ever been in the army, nor had a bit of sense, and Aunt Rachel was always bothering, and trying to make mamma think that Con told stories.
Colonel Keith went back to be caught by Conrade and Francis and walked off to the pony inspection, with the two boys on either side of him, sharing their big complaint about living in a cramped place like this, where nobody had ever been in the army, no one had any common sense, and Aunt Rachel was constantly nagging and trying to make Mom believe that Con was lying.
“I don’t mind that,” said Conrade, stoutly; “let her try!”
"I don't care about that," Conrade said confidently. "Let her give it a shot!"
“Oh, but she wanted mamma to shut you up,” added Francis.
“Oh, but she wanted Mom to silence you,” added Francis.
“Well, and mamma knows better,” said Conrade, “and it made her leave off teaching me, so it was lucky. But I don’t mind that; only don’t you see, Colonel, they don’t know how to treat mamma! They go and bully her, and treat her like—like a subaltern, till I hate the very sight of it.”
“Anyway, Mom knows better,” said Conrade, “and that’s why she stopped teaching me, which was actually a good thing. But I’m okay with that; the real issue is, don’t you see, Colonel, they don’t know how to respect Mom! They go and push her around, treating her like—like a junior officer, and it drives me crazy just to see it.”
“My boy,” said the Colonel, who had been giving only half attention; “you must make up your mind to your mother not being at the head of everything, as she used to be in your father’s time. She will always be respected, but you must look to yourself as you grow up to make a position tor her!”
“My boy,” said the Colonel, who had only been half listening, “you need to accept that your mother won't be in charge of everything like she was during your father’s time. She will always be respected, but as you grow up, you have to take responsibility to create a position for her!”
“I wish I was grown up!” sighed Conrade; “how I would give it to Aunt Rachel! But why must we live here to have her plaguing us?”
“I wish I were grown up!” sighed Conrade. “I would really give it to Aunt Rachel! But why do we have to live here with her bothering us?”
Questions that the Colonel was glad to turn aside by moans of the ponies, and by a suggestion that, if a very quiet one were found, and if Conrade would be very careful, mamma might, perhaps, go out riding with them. The motion was so transcendant that, no sooner had the ponies been seen, than the boys raced home, and had communicated it at the top of their voices to mamma long before their friend made his appearance. Lady Temple was quite startled at the idea. “Dear papa,” as she always called her husband, “had wished her to ride, but she had seldom done so, and now—” The tears came into her eyes.
Questions that the Colonel was happy to brush off with the ponies’ whinnies and by suggesting that if they could find a really calm one, and if Conrade was extra careful, maybe mom would go out riding with them. The idea was so exciting that as soon as they spotted the ponies, the boys sprinted home and shouted the news to mom long before their friend showed up. Lady Temple was quite taken aback by the thought. “Dear papa,” as she always called her husband, “had wanted her to ride, but she had hardly ever done so, and now—” Tears welled up in her eyes.
“I think you might,” said the Colonel, gently; “I could find you a quiet animal, and to have you with Conrade would be such a protection to him,” he added, as the boys had rushed out of the room.
“I think you might,” said the Colonel softly; “I could get you a calm animal, and having you with Conrade would really protect him,” he added, as the boys rushed out of the room.
“Yes; perhaps, dear boy. But I could not begin alone; it is so long since I rode. Perhaps when you come back from Ireland.”
“Yes; maybe, dear boy. But I couldn't start alone; it's been so long since I rode. Maybe when you come back from Ireland.”
“I am not going to Ireland.”
"I'm not going to Ireland."
“I thought you said—” said Fanny looking up surprised; “I am very glad! But if you wished to go, pray don’t think about us! I shall learn to manage in time, and I cannot bear to detain you.”
“I thought you said—” Fanny said, looking up in surprise; “I’m really glad! But if you want to go, please don’t worry about us! I’ll figure things out eventually, and I can’t stand the idea of holding you back.”
“You do not detain me,” he said, sitting down by her; “I have found what I was going in search of, and through your means.”
“You're not holding me back,” he said, sitting down next to her; “I’ve found what I was looking for, and it's thanks to you.”
“What—what do you mean! You were going to see Miss Williams this afternoon, I thought!”
“What—what do you mean! I thought you were going to see Miss Williams this afternoon!”
“Yes, and it was she whom I was seeking.” He paused, and added slowly, as if merely for the sake of dwelling on the words, “I have found her!”
“Yes, and it was her I was looking for.” He paused and added slowly, as if just to linger on the words, “I’ve found her!”
“Miss Williams!” said Fanny, with perplexed looks.
“Miss Williams!” Fanny said, looking confused.
“Miss Williams!—my Ermine whom I had not seen since the day after her accident, when we parted as on her deathbed!”
“Miss Williams!—my Ermine whom I hadn’t seen since the day after her accident, when we said goodbye as if she were on her deathbed!”
“That sister! Oh, poor thing, I am so glad! But I am sorry!” cried the much confused Fanny, in a breath; “were not you very much shocked?”
“That sister! Oh, poor thing, I'm so glad! But I feel so bad!” exclaimed the very confused Fanny, all in one breath; “weren't you really shocked?”
“I had never hoped to see her face in all its brightness again,” he said. “Twelve years! It is twelve years that she has suffered, and of late she has been brought to this grievous state of poverty, and yet the spirit is as brave and cheerful as ever! It looks out of the beautiful eyes—more beautiful than when I first saw them,—I could see and think of nothing else!”
“I never expected to see her face shining like that again,” he said. “Twelve years! It’s been twelve years since she’s suffered, and recently she’s fallen into this awful state of poverty, but her spirit is as strong and bright as ever! It shines through her beautiful eyes—more beautiful than when I first saw them—I can’t see or think about anything else!”
“Twelve years!” repeated Fanny; “is it so long since you saw her?”
“Twelve years!” Fanny repeated. “Has it really been that long since you saw her?”
“Almost since I heard of her! She was like a daughter to my aunt at Beauchamp, and her brother was my schoolfellow. For one summer, when I was quartered at Hertford, I was with her constantly, but my family would not even hear of the indefinite engagement that was all we could have looked to, and made me exchange into the —th.”
“Pretty much since I first heard about her! She was like a daughter to my aunt at Beauchamp, and her brother was my classmate. One summer, when I was stationed at Hertford, I spent a lot of time with her, but my family wouldn’t even consider the vague engagement that was all we could hope for, and they made me transfer to the —th.”
“Ah! that was the way we came to have you! I must tell you, dear Sir Stephen always guessed. Once when he had quite vexed poor mamma by preventing her from joking you in her way about young ladies, he told me that once, when he was young, he had liked some one who died or was married, I don’t quite know which, and he thought it was the same with you, from something that happened when you withdrew your application for leave after your wound.”
“Ah! That’s how we ended up with you! I have to tell you, dear Sir, Stephen always had his suspicions. Once, when he really annoyed poor mom by stopping her from teasing you about young ladies, he mentioned that when he was younger, he had feelings for someone who either died or got married—I’m not sure which—and he thought it was similar with you, based on something that happened when you took back your request for leave after your injury.”
“Yes! it was a letter from home, implying that my return would be accepted as a sign that I gave her up. So that was an additional instance of the exceeding kindness that I always received.”
“Yes! It was a letter from home, suggesting that my return would be seen as me giving her up. So that was another example of the incredible kindness I always experienced.”
And there was a pause, both much affected by the thought of the good old man’s ever ready consideration. At last Fanny said, “I am sure it was well for us! What would he have done without you?—and,” she added, “do you really mean that you never heard of her all these years?”
And there was a pause, both deeply moved by the memory of the good old man’s constant kindness. Finally, Fanny said, “I’m sure it was for the best! What would he have done without you?—and,” she added, “do you really mean that you’ve never heard about her all these years?”
“Never after my aunt’s death, except just after we went to Melbourne, when I heard in general terms of the ruin of the family and the false imputation on their brother.”
“Never after my aunt’s death, except right after we went to Melbourne, when I heard in general terms about the family’s downfall and the false accusations against their brother.”
“Ah! I remember that you did say something about going home, and Sir Stephen was distressed, and mamma and I persuaded you because we saw he would have missed you so much, and mamma was quite hurt at your thinking of going. But if you had only told him your reason, he would never have thought of standing in your way.”
“Ah! I remember you mentioned something about going home, and Sir Stephen was upset. Mom and I convinced you because we knew he would really miss you, and Mom was quite hurt that you were even considering it. But if you had just explained your reason to him, he would never have tried to stop you.”
“I know he would not, but I saw he could hardly find any one else just then who knew his ways so well. Besides, there was little use in going home till I had my promotion, and could offer her a home; and I had no notion how utter the ruin was, or that she had lost so much. So little did I imagine their straits that, but for Alison’s look, I should hardly have inquired even on hearing her name.”
“I know he wouldn’t, but I saw he could barely find anyone else at that moment who understood him so well. Besides, there was no point in going home until I got my promotion and could provide her with a home; and I had no idea how complete the ruin was, or that she had lost so much. I was so unaware of their struggles that, if it weren’t for Alison’s expression, I probably wouldn’t have even asked when I heard her name.”
“How very curious—how strangely things come round!” said Fanny; then with a start of dismay, “but what shall I do? Pray, tell me what you would like. If I might only keep her a little while till I can find some one else, though no one will ever be so nice, but indeed I would not for a moment, if you had rather not.”
“How strange—how oddly things come full circle!” said Fanny; then, suddenly alarmed, “but what should I do? Please tell me what you’d prefer. If I could just keep her for a little while until I find someone else, even though no one will ever be as great, I really wouldn’t want to if you’d rather not.”
“Why so? Alison is very happy with you, and there can be no reason against her going on.”
“Why is that? Alison is really happy with you, and there’s no reason for her not to continue.”
“Oh!” cried Lady Temple, with an odd sound of satisfaction, doubt, and surprise, “but I thought you would not like it.”
“Oh!” exclaimed Lady Temple, with a strange mix of satisfaction, uncertainty, and surprise, “but I thought you wouldn’t like it.”
“I should like, of course, to set them all at ease, but as I can do no more than make a home for Ermine and her niece, I can only rejoice that Alison is with you.”
“I’d like to put everyone at ease, but since I can only provide a home for Ermine and her niece, I can just be happy that Alison is with you.”
“But your brother!”
“But your brother though!”
“If he does not like it, he must take the consequence of the utter separation he made my father insist on,” said the Colonel sternly. “For my own part, I only esteem both sisters the more, if that were possible, for what they have done for themselves.”
“If he doesn't like it, he has to deal with the consequences of the complete separation my father insisted on,” said the Colonel sternly. “As for me, I admire both sisters even more, if that's possible, for what they’ve done for themselves.”
“Oh! that is what Rachel would like! She is so fond of the sick—I mean of your—Miss Williams. I suppose I may not tell her yet.”
“Oh! that’s exactly what Rachel would want! She has such a soft spot for the sick—I mean for your—Miss Williams. I guess I can’t tell her just yet.”
“Not yet, if you please. I have scarcely had time as yet to know what Ermine wishes, but I could not help telling you.”
“Not yet, if you don’t mind. I’ve barely had time to figure out what Ermine wants, but I couldn’t help mentioning it to you.”
“Thank you—I am so glad,” she said, with sweet earnestness, holding out her hand in congratulation. “When may I go to her? I should like for her to come and stay here. Do you think she would?”
“Thank you—I’m so happy,” she said, sincerely, reaching out her hand to congratulate. “When can I go see her? I’d love for her to come and stay here. Do you think she would?”
“Thank you, I will see. I know how kind you would be—indeed, have already been to her.”
“Thank you, I’ll think about it. I know how generous you would be—actually, you already have been to her.”
“And I am so thankful that I may keep Miss Williams! The dear boys never were so good. And perhaps she may stay till baby is grown up. Oh! how long it will be first!”
“And I'm so grateful that I can keep Miss Williams! The boys have never been this good. And maybe she'll stay until the baby is all grown up. Oh! It feels like it'll take forever!”
“She could not have a kinder friend,” said the Colonel, smiling, and looking at his watch.
“She couldn't have a nicer friend,” said the Colonel, smiling and checking his watch.
“Oh, is it time to dress? It is very kind of my dear aunt; but I do wish we could have stayed at home to-night. It is so dull for the boys when I dine out, and I had so much to ask you. One thing was about that poor little Bessie Keith. Don’t you think I might ask her down here, to be near her brother?”
“Oh, is it time to get dressed? It’s really nice of my dear aunt, but I wish we could have just stayed home tonight. It’s so boring for the boys when I go out to dinner, and I had so much to ask you. One thing was about that poor little Bessie Keith. Don’t you think I could invite her to come here, to be close to her brother?”
“It would be a very kind thing in you, and very good for her, but you must be prepared for rather a gay young lady.”
“It would be really nice of you, and great for her, but you’ve got to be ready for quite a lively young woman.”
“Oh, but she would not mind my not going out. She would have Alick, you know, and all the boys to amuse her; but, if you think it would be tiresome for her, and that she would not be happy, I should be very sorry to have her, poor child.”
“Oh, but she wouldn’t care if I didn’t go out. She would have Alick, you know, and all the boys to keep her entertained; but if you believe it would be boring for her and that she wouldn’t be happy, I’d feel really bad for her, poor thing.”
“I was not afraid for her,” said Colonel Keith, smiling, “but of her being rather too much for you.”
“I wasn't worried about her,” Colonel Keith said with a smile, “but rather that she might be a bit too much for you.”
“Rachel is not too much for me,” said Fanny, “and she and Grace will entertain Bessie, and take her out. But I will talk to Alick. He spoke of coming to-morrow. And don’t you think I might ask Colonel and Mrs. Hammond to spend a day? They would so like the sea for the children.”
“Rachel isn't too much for me,” said Fanny, “and she and Grace will keep Bessie entertained and take her out. But I’ll talk to Alick. He mentioned coming tomorrow. And don’t you think I could invite Colonel and Mrs. Hammond to spend a day? They would love the sea for the kids.”
“Certainly.”
"Sure."
“Then perhaps you would write—oh, I forgot,” colouring up, “I never can forget the old days, it seems as if you were on the staff still.”
“Then maybe you would write—oh, I forgot,” she said, blushing, “I can never forget the old days; it feels like you’re still part of the team.”
“I always am on yours, and always hope to be,” he said, smiling, “though I am afraid I can’t write your note to the Hammonds for you.”
“I’m always here for you and I hope to keep it that way,” he said with a smile, “but I’m afraid I can’t write your note to the Hammonds for you.”
“But you won’t go away,” she said. “I know your time will be taken up, and you must not let me or the boys be troublesome; but to have you here makes me so much less lost and lonely. And I shall have such a friend in your Erminia. Is that her name?”
“But you’re not leaving,” she said. “I know you’ll be busy, and you shouldn’t let me or the boys be a bother; but having you here makes me feel so much less lost and lonely. And I’ll have such a friend in your Erminia. Is that her name?”
“Ermine, an old Welsh name, the softest I ever heard. Indeed it is dressing time,” added Colonel Keith, and both moved away with the startled precision of members of a punctual military household, still feeling themselves accountable to somebody.
“Ermine, an old Welsh name, the softest I’ve ever heard. It’s definitely time to get ready,” added Colonel Keith, and both moved away with the alert precision of members of a prompt military household, still feeling responsible to someone.
CHAPTER VI. ERMINE’S RESOLUTION
“For as his hand the weather steers, So thrive I best ‘twixt joys and tears, And all the year have some green ears.”—H. VAUGHAN.
“For as his hand the weather steers, So I thrive best between joys and tears, And throughout the year have some green ears.” —H. VAUGHAN.
Alison had not been wrong in her presentiment that the second interview would be more trying than the first. The exceeding brightness and animation of Ermine’s countenance, her speaking eyes, unchanged complexion, and lively manner—above all, the restoration of her real substantial self—had so sufficed and engrossed Colin Keith in the gladness of their first meeting that he had failed to comprehend her helpless state; and already knowing her to be an invalid, not entirely recovered from her accident, he was only agreeably surprised to see the beauty of face he had loved so long, retaining all its vivacity of expression. And when he met Alison the next morning with a cordial brotherly greeting and inquiry for her sister, her “Very well,” and “not at all the worse for the excitement,” were so hearty and ready that he could not have guessed that “well” with Ermine meant something rather relative than positive. Alison brought him a playful message from her, that since he was not going to Belfast, she should meet him with a freer conscience if he would first give her time for Rose’s lessons, and, as he said, he had lived long enough with Messrs. Conrade and Co. to acknowledge the wisdom of the message. But Rose had not long been at leisure to look out for him before he made his appearance, and walked in by right, as one at home; and sitting down in his yesterday’s place, took the little maiden on his knee, and began to talk to her about the lessons he had been told to wait for. What would she have done without them? He knew some people who never could leave the house quiet enough to hear one’s-self speak if they were deprived of lessons. Was that the way with her? Rose laughed like a creature, her aunt said, “to whom the notion of noise at play was something strange and ridiculous; necessity has reduced her to Jacqueline Pascal’s system with her pensionnaires, who were allowed to play one by one without any noise.”
Alison wasn't wrong in her feeling that the second interview would be harder than the first. The bright energy and liveliness in Ermine’s face, her expressive eyes, unchanged complexion, and animated manner—most importantly, the return of her true self—had kept Colin Keith so absorbed in the joy of their first meeting that he didn’t notice her vulnerable state. Knowing she was still an invalid recovering from her accident, he was pleasantly surprised to see that the beautiful face he had loved for so long still had all its lively expression. When he met Alison the next morning with a warm, brotherly greeting and asked about her sister, her “Very well,” and “not at all the worse for the excitement,” were so genuine and quick that he couldn't guess that “well” with Ermine meant something more relative than definite. Alison sent him a playful message from her, saying that since he wasn’t going to Belfast, she could meet him with a clearer conscience if he would first give her time for Rose’s lessons. He said he had spent enough time with Messrs. Conrade and Co. to recognize the wisdom of her message. But Rose hadn’t waited long to look out for him before he appeared, walking in as if he owned the place; he sat down in his spot from yesterday, picked up the little girl and started talking to her about the lessons he'd been told to wait for. What would she have done without them? He knew some people who couldn’t leave the house quietly enough to hear themselves think if they didn't have lessons. Was that how it was for her? Rose laughed like a child, and her aunt said it was as if the idea of noise while playing was completely foreign and silly to her; necessity had made her adopt Jacqueline Pascal’s system with her students, who were allowed to play one at a time without any noise.
“But I don’t play all alone,” said Rose; “I play with you, Aunt Ermine, and with Violetta.”
“But I don’t play all by myself,” said Rose; “I play with you, Aunt Ermine, and with Violetta.”
And Violetta speedily had the honour of an introduction, very solemnly gone through, in due form; Ermine, in the languid sportiveness of enjoyment of his presence and his kindness to the child, inciting Rose to present Miss Violetta Williams to Colonel Keith, an introduction that he returned with a grand military salute, at the same time as he shook the doll’s inseparable fingers. “Well, Miss Violetta, and Miss Rose, when you come to live with me, I shall hope for the pleasure of teaching you to make a noise.”
And Violetta quickly had the honor of a formal introduction. Ermine, playfully enjoying his company and his kindness to the child, encouraged Rose to introduce Miss Violetta Williams to Colonel Keith. He responded with a grand military salute while shaking the doll’s hand. “Well, Miss Violetta and Miss Rose, when you come to live with me, I look forward to the fun of teaching you how to make some noise.”
“What does he mean?” said Rose, turning round amazed upon her aunt.
“What does he mean?” Rose asked, turning around in surprise to face her aunt.
“I am afraid he does not quite know,” said Ermine, sadly.
“I’m afraid he doesn’t really know,” said Ermine, sadly.
“Nay, Ermine,” said he, turning from the child, and bending over her, “you are the last who should say that. Have I not told you that there is nothing now in our way—no one with a right to object, and means enough for all we should wish, including her—? What is the matter?” he added, startled by her look.
“Nah, Ermine,” he said, turning away from the child and leaning over her, “you’re the last person who should say that. Haven’t I told you there’s nothing standing in our way—no one who has a right to object, and we have enough resources for everything we want, including her—? What’s going on?” he added, taken aback by her expression.
“Ah, Colin! I thought you knew—”
“Ah, Colin! I thought you knew—”
“Knew what, Ermine?” with his brows drawn together.
“Knew what, Ermine?” he said, frowning.
“Knew—what I am,” she said; “knew the impossibility. What, they have not told you? I thought I was the invalid, the cripple, with every one.”
“Knew—what I am,” she said; “knew the impossibility. What, they haven't told you? I thought I was the sick one, the disabled person, just like everyone else.”
“I knew you had suffered cruelly; I knew you were lame,” he said, breathlessly; “but—what—”
“I knew you had been through a lot; I knew you were disabled,” he said, breathlessly; “but—what—”
“It is more than lame,” she said. “I should be better off if the fiction of the Queens of Spain were truth with me. I could not move from this chair without help. Oh, Colin! poor Colin! it was very cruel not to have prepared you for this!” she added, as he gazed at her in grief and dismay, and made a vain attempt to find the voice that would not come. “Yes, indeed it is so,” she said; “the explosion, rather than the fire, did mischief below the knee that poor nature could not repair, and I can but just stand, and cannot walk at all.”
“It’s more than just lame,” she said. “I’d be better off if the stories about the Queens of Spain were true for me. I can’t get out of this chair without help. Oh, Colin! poor Colin! it was so cruel not to have prepared you for this!” she added, as he looked at her with sadness and shock, making a futile attempt to find the words that wouldn’t come. “Yes, it really is,” she said; “the explosion, rather than the fire, caused damage below the knee that poor nature couldn’t fix, and I can barely stand, and can’t walk at all.”
“Has anything been done—advice?” he murmured.
“Has anything been done—any advice?” he said quietly.
“Advice upon advice, so that I felt at the last almost a compensation to be out of the way of the doctors. No, nothing more can be done; and now that one is used to it, the snail is very comfortable in its shell. But I wish you could have known it sooner!” she added, seeing him shade his brow with his hand, overwhelmed.
“Advice upon advice, until I almost felt relieved to be away from the doctors. No, nothing more can be done; and now that I've gotten used to it, the snail is really comfortable in its shell. But I wish you could have known it sooner!” she added, noticing him rub his forehead with his hand, feeling overwhelmed.
“What you must have suffered!” he murmured.
“What you must have been through!” he whispered.
“That is all over long ago; every year has left that further behind, and made me more content. Dear Colin, for me there is nothing to grieve.”
“That is all in the past; each year has moved that further away, and made me happier. Dear Colin, for me there is nothing to be sad about.”
He could not control himself, rose up, made a long stride, and passed through the open window into the garden.
He couldn't hold back, stood up, took a long step, and walked through the open window into the garden.
“Oh, if I could only follow him,” gasped Ermine, joining her hands and looking up.
“Oh, if I could just follow him,” gasped Ermine, clasping her hands and looking up.
“Is it because you can’t walk?” said Rose, somewhat frightened, and for the first time beginning to comprehend that her joyous-tempered aunt could be a subject for pity.
“Is it because you can’t walk?” Rose asked, a little scared, and for the first time starting to realize that her cheerful aunt could be someone to feel sorry for.
“Oh! this was what I feared!” sighed Ermine. “Oh, give us strength to go through with it.” Then becoming awake to the child’s presence—“A little water, if you please, my dear.” Then, more composedly, “Don’t be frightened, my Rose; you did not know it was such a shock to find me so laid by—”
“Oh! this is what I was worried about!” sighed Ermine. “Oh, give us the strength to get through this.” Then, realizing the child was there—“A little water, please, my dear.” Then, more calmly, “Don’t be scared, my Rose; you didn’t know it would be such a shock to see me like this—”
“He is in the garden walking up and down,” said Rose. “May I go and tell him how much merrier you always are than Aunt Ailie?”
“He's outside in the garden pacing back and forth,” Rose said. “Can I go tell him how much happier you always are than Aunt Ailie?”
Poor Ermine felt anything but merry just then, but she had some experience of Rose’s powers of soothing, and signed assent. So in another second Colonel Keith was met in the hasty, agonized walk by which he was endeavouring to work off his agitation, and the slender child looked wistfully up at him from dark depths of half understanding eyes—“Please, please don’t be so very sorry,” she said. “Aunt Ermine does not like it. She never is sorry for herself—”
Poor Ermine felt anything but cheerful at that moment, but she had experienced Rose’s ability to comfort and nodded in agreement. In just a second, Colonel Keith encountered her as he hurriedly paced, trying to manage his agitation, and the fragile child looked up at him with a hopeful gaze from the dark depths of her partially understanding eyes—“Please, please don’t feel so sorry,” she said. “Aunt Ermine doesn’t like it. She never feels sorry for herself—”
“Have I shaken her—distressed her?” he asked, anxiously.
“Have I upset her—worried her?” he asked, anxiously.
“She doesn’t like you to be sorry,” said Rose, looking up. “And, indeed, she does not mind it; she is such a merry aunt! Please, come in again, and see how happy we always are—”
“She doesn’t want you to feel sorry,” said Rose, looking up. “And honestly, she doesn’t care; she’s such a cheerful aunt! Please, come in again and see how happy we always are—”
The last words were spoken so near the window that Ermine caught them, and said, “Yes, come in, Colin, and learn not to grieve for me, or you will make me repent of my selfish gladness yesterday.”
The last words were spoken so close to the window that Ermine overheard them and said, “Yes, come in, Colin, and don't mourn for me, or you’ll make me regret my selfish happiness from yesterday.”
“Not grieve!” he exclaimed, “when I think of the beautiful vigorous being that used to be the life of the place—” and he would have said more but for a deprecating sign of the hand.
“Don’t grieve!” he exclaimed, “when I remember the beautiful, lively person who used to be the heart of this place—” and he would have said more if not for a discouraging gesture of the hand.
“Well,” she said, half smiling, “it is a pity to think even of a crushed butterfly; but indeed, Colin, if you can bear to listen to me, I think I can show you that it all has been a blessing even by sight, as well as, of course, by faith. Only remember the unsatisfactoriness of our condition—the never seeing or hearing from one another after that day when Mr. Beauchamp came down on us. Did not the accident win for us a parting that was much better to remember than that state of things? Oh, the pining, weary feel as if all the world had closed on me! I do assure you it was much worse than anything that came after the burn. Yes, if I had been well and doing like others, I know I should have fretted and wearied, pined myself ill perhaps, whereas I could always tell myself that every year of your absence might be a step towards your finding me well; and when I was forced to give up that hope for myself, why then, Colin, the never seeing your name made me think you would never be disappointed and grieved as you are now. It is very merciful the way that physical trials help one through those of the mind.”
“Well,” she said with a half-smile, “it's a shame to even think about a crushed butterfly; but truly, Colin, if you can stand to listen to me, I believe I can show you that it’s all been a blessing, both in sight and, of course, in faith. Just remember how unsatisfying our situation is—the fact that we never see or hear from each other after that day when Mr. Beauchamp came down on us. Didn't the accident give us a parting that's much better to remember than what was going on before? Oh, the longing, that exhausting feeling as if the whole world had closed in on me! I promise you it was much worse than anything that happened after the burn. Yes, if I had been fine and doing like everyone else, I know I would have worried and fretted, maybe made myself sick with longing. But instead, I could always remind myself that each year of your absence might mean a step closer to finding me well; and when I had to give up that hope for myself, well then, Colin, the fact that I never saw your name made me think you would never feel the disappointment and grief that you do now. It’s quite merciful how physical struggles can help us get through those of the mind.”
“I never knew,” said the Colonel; “all my aunt’s latter letters spoke of your slow improvement beyond hope.”
“I never knew,” said the Colonel; “all my aunt’s recent letters talked about your slow improvement as if it were beyond hope.”
“True, in her time, I had not reached the point where I stopped. The last time I saw her I was still upstairs; and, indeed, I did not half know what I could do till I tried.”
“True, at that time, I hadn’t gotten to the point where I stopped. The last time I saw her, I was still upstairs; and honestly, I didn’t really know what I could do until I tried.”
“Yes,” said he, brightened by that buoyant look so remarkable in her face; “and you will yet do more, Ermine. You have convinced me that we shall be all the happier together—”
“Yes,” he said, his expression brightened by that cheerful look that was so distinctive on her face; “and you will do even more, Ermine. You've shown me that we’ll be so much happier together—”
“But that was not what I meant to convince you of—” she said, faintly.
“But that’s not what I was trying to convince you of—” she said, faintly.
“Not what you meant, perhaps; but what it did convince me was, that you—as you are, my Ermine—are ten thousand times more to me than even as the beautiful girl, and that there never can be a happier pair than we shall be when I am your hands and feet.”
“Maybe that's not what you intended, but what it made me realize is that you—just as you are, my Ermine—mean so much more to me than just the beautiful girl, and that there will never be a happier couple than us when I am your hands and feet.”
Ermine sat up, and rallied all her forces, choked back the swelling of her throat, and said, “Dear Colin, it cannot be! I trusted you were understanding that when I told you how it was with me.”
Ermine sat up, gathered her strength, swallowed the lump in her throat, and said, “Dear Colin, it can’t be! I thought you understood when I told you how things were for me.”
He could not speak from consternation.
He couldn't speak because he was so shocked.
“No,” she said; “it would be wrong in me to think of it for an instant. That you should have done so, shows—O Colin, I cannot talk of it; but it would be as ungenerous in me to consent, as it is noble of you to propose it.”
“No,” she said; “it would be wrong for me to even think about it for a second. That you would do something like that shows—Oh Colin, I can't discuss it; but it would be just as unfair for me to agree as it is noble of you to suggest it.”
“It is no such thing,” he answered; “it has been the one object and thought of my life, the only hope I have had all these years.”
“It’s not that at all,” he replied; “it’s been the one goal and thought of my life, the only hope I’ve had all these years.”
“Exactly so,” she said, struggling again to speak firmly; “and that is the very thing. You kept your allegiance to the bright, tall, walking, active girl, and it would be a shame in the scorched cripple to claim it.”
“Exactly,” she said, trying once more to sound confident; “and that’s the point. You stayed loyal to the vibrant, tall, energetic girl, and it would be a disgrace for the damaged person to take that loyalty.”
“Don’t call yourself names. Have I not told you that you are more than the same?”
“Don’t put yourself down. Haven’t I told you that you’re more than that?”
“You do not know. You are pleased because my face is not burnt, nor grown much older, and because I can talk and laugh in the same voice still.” (Oh, how it quivered!) “But it would be a wicked mockery in me to pretend to be the wife you want. Yes, I know you think you do, but that is just because my looks are so deceitful, and you have kept on thinking about me; but you must make a fresh beginning.”
“You don't understand. You’re happy because my face isn't burned, I don’t look much older, and I can still talk and laugh in the same way.” (Oh, how it trembled!) “But it would be cruelly deceptive of me to act like the wife you want. Yes, I know you think you do, but that’s just because my appearance is so misleading, and you’ve kept thinking about me; but you need to start over.”
“You can tell me that,” he said, indignantly.
“You can tell me that,” he said, angrily.
“Because it is not new to me,” she said; “the quarter of an hour you stood by me, with that deadly calm in your white face, was the real farewell to the young hopeful dream of that bright summer. I wish it was as calm now.”
“Because it’s not new to me,” she said; “the fifteen minutes you stood by me, with that deadly calm on your pale face, was the real goodbye to the young hopeful dream of that bright summer. I wish it was as calm now.”
“I believed you dying then,” answered he.
“I thought you were dying back then,” he replied.
“Do not make me think it would have been better for you if I had been,” she said, imploringly. “It was as much the end, and I knew it from the time my recovery stopped short. I would have let you know if I could, and then you would not have been so much shocked.”
“Don’t make me believe it would have been better for you if I had been,” she said, pleadingly. “It was just as much the end, and I knew it from the moment my recovery came to a halt. I would have told you if I could, and then you wouldn’t have been so shocked.”
“So as to cut me off from you entirely?”
“So you want to completely cut me off from you?”
“No, indeed. The thought of seeing you again was too—too overwhelming to be indulged in; knowing, as I did, that if you were the same to me, it must be at this sad cost to you,” and her eyes filled with tears.
“No, really. The thought of seeing you again was too—too overwhelming to entertain; knowing, as I did, that if you felt the same way about me, it would come at such a sad cost to you,” and her eyes filled with tears.
“It is you who make it so, Ermine.”
“It’s you who make it happen, Ermine.”
“No; it is the providence that has set me aside from the active work of life. Pray do not go on, Colin, it is only giving us both useless pain. You do not know what it costs me to deny you, and I feel that I must. I know you are only acting on the impulse of generosity. Yes, I will say so, though you think it is to please yourself,” she added, with one of those smiles that nothing could drive far from her lips, and which made it infinitely harder to acquiesce in her denial.
“No; it’s fate that has kept me away from the active life. Please don’t continue, Colin, it’s just causing us both unnecessary pain. You have no idea how hard it is for me to turn you down, but I feel I have to. I know you’re acting on a generous impulse. Yes, I’ll say it, even if you think it’s just to make yourself feel better,” she added, with one of those smiles that never left her face and made it so much harder to accept her refusal.
“I will make you think so in time,” he said. “Then I might tell you, you had no right to please yourself,” she answered, still with the same air of playfulness; “you have got a brother, you know—and—yes, I hear you growl; but if he is a poor old broken man out of health, it is the more reason you should not vex him, nor hamper yourself with a helpless commodity.”
“I’ll make you believe that eventually,” he said. “Then I might tell you that you have no right to do what makes you happy,” she replied, still with the same playful tone. “You have a brother, you know—and—yes, I can hear you growl; but if he’s a poor old broken man who isn’t well, that just means you shouldn’t upset him or burden yourself with someone who can’t help themselves.”
“You are not taking the way to make me forget what my brother has done for us.”
“You're not going to make me forget what my brother has done for us.”
“How do you know that he did not save me from being a strong-minded military lady! After all, it was absurd to expect people to look favourably on our liking for one another, and you know they could not be expected to know that there was real stuff in the affair. If there had not been, we should have thought so all the same, you know, and been quite as furious.”
“How do you know he didn’t save me from being a strong-willed military woman? After all, it was ridiculous to think people would approve of our feelings for each other, and you know they couldn’t be expected to understand that there was something genuine between us. If there hadn’t been, we would have felt that way regardless and been just as angry.”
He could not help smiling, recollecting fury that, in the course of these twelve years, he had seen evinced under similar circumstances by persons who had consoled themselves before he had done pitying them. “Still,” he said gravely, “I think there was harshness.”
He couldn't help but smile, remembering the anger he had witnessed over the past twelve years in people who had found comfort before he had felt pity for them. “Still,” he said seriously, “I think there was a lack of kindness.”
“So do I, but not so much as I thought at that time, and—oh, surely that is not Rachel Curtis? I told her I thought you would call.”
“So do I, but not as much as I thought back then, and—oh, is that really Rachel Curtis? I mentioned I thought you'd call.”
“Intolerable!” he muttered between his teeth. “Is she always coming to bore you?”
“Unbearable!” he muttered under his breath. “Does she always come to annoy you?”
“She has been very kind, and my great enlivenment,” said Ermine, “and she can’t be expected to know how little we want her. Oh, there, the danger is averted! She must have asked if you were here.”
“She has been really kind, and a huge boost to my spirits,” said Ermine, “and she can’t be expected to know how little we need her. Oh, the danger has passed! She must have asked if you were here.”
“I was just thinking that she was the chief objection to Lady Temple’s kind wish of having you at Myrtlewood.”
“I was just thinking that she was the main reason against Lady Temple’s kind wish to have you at Myrtlewood.”
“Does Lady Temple know?” asked Ermine, blushing.
“Does Lady Temple know?” Ermine asked, blushing.
“I could not keep it from one who has been so uniformly kind to me; but I desired her not to let it go further till I should hear your wishes.”
“I couldn’t hide it from someone who has been so consistently kind to me; but I asked her not to take it further until I hear what you want.”
“Yes, she has a right to know,” said Ermine; “but please, not a word elsewhere.”
“Yes, she has a right to know,” said Ermine; “but please, not a word anywhere else.”
“And will you not come to stay with her?”
“And will you not come to hang out with her?”
“I? Oh, no; I am fit for no place but this. You don’t half know how bad I am. When you have seen a little more of us, you will be quite convinced.”
“I? Oh, no; I’m only suited for this place. You don’t even realize how bad I really am. Once you’ve seen a bit more of us, you’ll be completely convinced.”
“Well, at least, you give me leave to come here.”
“Well, at least you let me come here.”
“Leave? When it is a greater pleasure than I ever thought to have again; that is, while you understand that you said good-bye to the Ermine of Beauchamp Parsonage twelve years ago, and that the thing here is only a sort of ghost, most glad and grateful to be a friend—a sister.”
“Leave? When it’s a greater pleasure than I ever expected to have again; that is, as long as you remember that you said good-bye to the Ermine of Beauchamp Parsonage twelve years ago, and that what you see here is just a kind of ghost, very happy and grateful to be a friend—a sister.”
“So,” he said, “those are to be the terms of my admission.”
“So,” he said, “those are going to be the terms of my admission.”
“The only possible ones.”
"The only possible ones."
“I will consider them. I have not accepted them.”
“I'll think about them. I haven't accepted them.”
“You will,” she said.
"You will," she said.
But she met a smile in return, implying that there might be a will as steadfast as her own, although the question might be waived for a time.
But she received a smile in return, suggesting that there could be a determination as strong as her own, even if the question might be put aside for a while.
Meantime, Rachel was as nearly hating Colonel Keith as principle would allow, with “Human Reeds,” newly finished, burning in her pocket, “Military Society” fermenting in her brain, and “Curatocult” still unacknowledged. Had he not had quite time for any rational visit? Was he to devour Mackarel Lane as well as Myrtlewood? She was on her way to the latter house, meeting Grace as she went, and congratulating herself that he could not be in two places at once, whilst Grace secretly wondered how far she might venture to build on Alison Williams’s half confidence, and regretted the anxiety wasted by Rachel and the mother; though, to be sure, that of Mrs. Curtis was less uncalled for than her daughter’s, since it was only the fear of Fanny’s not being sufficiently guarded against misconstructions.
In the meantime, Rachel was almost hating Colonel Keith as much as she could while still being principled, with "Human Reeds," freshly finished, burning a hole in her pocket, "Military Society" swirling in her mind, and "Curatocult" still unrecognized. Did he really think he had time for a meaningful visit? Was he going to consume Mackarel Lane as well as Myrtlewood? She was headed to the latter house, running into Grace along the way, and congratulating herself that he couldn’t be in two places at once, while Grace secretly wondered how far she could take Alison Williams’s half-confession and regretted the worry Rachel and her mother had wasted; though, to be fair, Mrs. Curtis’s concerns were less unfounded than her daughter’s, as they were only worried about Fanny not being adequately protected against misunderstandings.
Rachel held up her hands in despair in the hall. “Six officers’ cards!” she exclaimed.
Rachel held up her hands in despair in the hallway. “Six officers' cards!” she exclaimed.
“No, only six cards,” said Grace; “there are two of each.”
“No, just six cards,” Grace said; “there are two of each.”
“That’s enough,” sighed Rachel; “and look there,” gazing through the garden-door. “She is walking with the young puppy that dined here on Thursday, and they called Alick.”
“That's enough,” Rachel sighed, “and look over there,” she said, looking through the garden door. “She’s walking with the young puppy that had dinner here on Thursday, and they named it Alick.”
“Do you remember,” said Grace, “how she used to chatter about Alick, when she first came to us, at six years old. He was the child of one of the officers. Can this be the same?”
“Do you remember,” said Grace, “how she used to talk about Alick when she first came to us at six years old? He was the child of one of the officers. Can this really be the same person?”
“That’s one of your ideas, Grace. Look, this youth could have been hardly born when Fanny came to us. No; he is only one of the idlers that military life has accustomed her to.”
“That’s one of your ideas, Grace. Look, this guy could have barely been born when Fanny came to us. No; he’s just one of the slackers that military life has made her used to.”
Rather against Grace’s feeling, Rachel drew her on, so as to come up with Lady Temple and her friend in the midst of their conversation, and they heard the last words—
Rather against Grace’s wishes, Rachel pulled her along to catch up with Lady Temple and her friend in the middle of their conversation, and they heard the last words—
“Then you will give me dear Bessie’s direction?”
“Then you will give me Bessie’s address?”
“Thank you, it will be the greatest kindness—”
“Thanks, that would be the greatest kindness—”
“Oh, Grace, Rachel, is it you?” exclaimed Fanny. “You have not met before, I think. Mr. Keith—Miss Curtis.”
“Oh, Grace, Rachel, is that you?” exclaimed Fanny. “I don’t think you’ve met before. Mr. Keith—Miss Curtis.”
Very young indeed were both face and figure, fair and pale, and though there was a moustache, it was so light and silky as to be scarcely visible; the hair, too, was almost flaxen, and the whole complexion had a washed-out appearance. The eyes, indeed, were of the same peculiar deep blue as the Colonel’s, but even these were little seen under their heavy sleepy lids, and the long limbs had in every movement something of weight and slowness, the very sight of which fretted Rachel, and made her long to shake him. It appeared that he was come to spend the Sunday at Avonmouth, and Grace tried to extract the comfort for her mother that two gentlemen were better than one, and Fanny need not be on their minds for chaperonage for that day.
Both his face and figure were very young, fair and pale, and although he had a mustache, it was so light and fine that it was barely noticeable; his hair was almost flaxen, giving his complexion a washed-out look. His eyes were the same unusual deep blue as the Colonel’s, but they were hardly visible under his heavy, sleepy eyelids. His long limbs moved with a certain weight and slowness, which irritated Rachel and made her want to shake him. He had come to spend the Sunday at Avonmouth, and Grace tried to reassure her mother that having two gentlemen was better than one, so Fanny didn’t need to worry about acting as a chaperone for the day.
A party of garden-chairs on the lawn invited repose, and there the ladies seated themselves; Fanny laying down her heavy crape bonnet, and showing her pretty little delicate face, now much fresher and more roseate than when she arrived, though her wide-spreading black draperies gave a certain dignity to her slight figure, contrasting with the summer muslins of her two cousins; as did her hot-house plant fairness, with their firm, healthy glow of complexion; her tender shrinking grace, with their upright vigour. The gentleman of the party leant hack in a languid, easy posture, as though only half awake, and the whole was so quiet that Grace, missing the usual tumult of children, asked after them.
A set of garden chairs on the lawn invited relaxation, and the ladies took a seat there. Fanny set aside her heavy black bonnet, revealing her pretty little face, which looked fresher and more radiant than when she arrived, although her flowing black attire added a certain elegance to her slim figure, contrasting with the summer muslins of her two cousins. Her pale skin, like that of a hothouse plant, stood in contrast to their robust, healthy complexions; her delicate, shy grace was different from their strong, upright vigor. The men in the group leaned back in a relaxed way, as if they were only half awake, and the overall atmosphere was so calm that Grace, noticing the usual noise of children was missing, inquired about them.
“The boys have gone to their favourite cove under the plantation. They have a fort there, and Hubert told me he was to be a hero, and Miss Williams a she-ro.”
“The boys have gone to their favorite cove under the trees. They have a fort there, and Hubert told me he was going to be a hero, and Miss Williams a she-hero.”
“I would not encourage that description of sport,” said Rachel, willing to fight a battle in order to avert maternal anecdotes of boyish sayings.
“I wouldn’t support that description of sports,” Rachel said, ready to fight to prevent her mom from sharing embarrassing stories about childish things boys say.
“They like it so much,” said Fanny, “and they learn so much now that they act all the battles they read about.”
“They like it so much,” said Fanny, “and they learn so much now that they act out all the battles they read about.”
“That is what I object to,” said Rachel; “it is accustoming them to confound heroism with pugnacity.”
"That's what I have a problem with," Rachel said. "It teaches them to confuse heroism with aggression."
“No, but Rachel dear, they do quarrel and fight among themselves much less now that this is all in play and good humour,” pleaded Fanny.
“No, but Rachel dear, they argue and pick fights with each other a lot less now that this is all in fun and good spirits,” pleaded Fanny.
“Yes, that may be, but you are cultivating the dangerous instinct, although for a moment giving it a better direction.”
“Yes, that might be true, but you’re nurturing a risky instinct, even if for a moment you’re steering it in a better direction.”
“Dangerous? Oh, Alick! do you think it can be?” said Fanny, less easily borne down with a supporter beside her.
“Dangerous? Oh, Alick! Do you really think it can be?” said Fanny, feeling less overwhelmed with a supporter next to her.
“According to the Peace Society,” he answered, with a quiet air of courteous deference; “perhaps you belong to it?”
“According to the Peace Society,” he replied, with a calm, polite demeanor; “maybe you’re a member?”
“No, indeed,” answered Rachel, rather indignantly, “I think war the great purifier and ennobler of nations, when it is for a good and great cause; but I think education ought to protest against confounding mere love of combat with heroism.”
“No, definitely not,” Rachel replied, somewhat indignantly. “I believe war is the great purifier and uplifter of nations when it's for a good and noble cause; however, I think education should challenge the idea that just a love for fighting is the same as heroism.”
“Query, the true meaning of the word?” he said, leaning back.
“What's the true meaning of the word 'query'?” he asked, leaning back.
“Heros, yes from the same root as the German herr,” readily responded Rachel, “meaning no more than lord and master; but there can be no doubt that the progress of ideas has linked with it a much nobler association.”
“Heroes, yes from the same root as the German herr,” Rachel quickly replied, “meaning nothing more than lord and master; but there's no doubt that the evolution of ideas has connected it with a much more noble association.”
“Progress! What, since the heroes were half divine!”
“Progress! What, since the heroes were part god!”
“Half divine in the esteem of a people who thought brute courage godlike. To us the word maintains its semi-divinity, and it should be our effort to associate it only with that which veritably has the god-like stamp.”
“Half divine in the eyes of people who considered raw courage godlike. To us, the word still carries a sense of semi-divinity, and we should strive to associate it only with things that truly have that god-like quality.”
“And that is—?”
"And that is—?"
“Doing more than one’s duty,” exclaimed Rachel, with a glistening eye.
“Doing more than what’s expected,” exclaimed Rachel, with a shining eye.
“Very uncomfortable and superfluous, and not at all easy,” he said, half shutting his already heavy eyes.
“Very uncomfortable and unnecessary, and not at all easy,” he said, half shutting his already heavy eyes.
“Easy, no, that’s the beauty and the glory—”
“Easy, no, that’s the beauty and the glory—”
“Major Sherborne and Captain Lester in the drawing room, my lady,” announced Coombe, who had looked infinitely cheered since this military influx.
“Major Sherborne and Captain Lester in the living room, my lady,” announced Coombe, who had looked incredibly happy since this military arrival.
“You will come with me, Grace,” said Fanny, rising. “I dare say you had rather not, Rachel, and it would be a pity to disturb you, Alick.”
“You're coming with me, Grace,” Fanny said as she stood up. “I’m sure you’d rather not, Rachel, and it would be a shame to bother you, Alick.”
“Thank you; it would be decidedly more than my duty.”
“Thank you; that would be definitely more than what I’m required to do.”
“I am quite sorry to go, you are so amusing,” said Fanny, “but I suppose you will have settled about heroism by the time we come out again, and will tell me what the boys ought to play at.”
“I’m really sorry to leave, you’re so entertaining,” Fanny said, “but I guess you’ll have figured out what heroism means by the time we come back, and you can tell me what the boys should play.”
Rachel’s age was quite past the need of troubling herself at being left tete-a-tete with a mere lad like this; and, besides, it was an opportunity not to be neglected of giving a young carpet knight a lesson in true heroism. There was a pause after the other two had moved off. Rachel reflected for a few moments, and then, precipitated by the fear of her audience falling asleep, she exclaimed—
Rachel was old enough not to bother about being left alone with a kid like this; plus, it was a chance to teach a young man a lesson in real bravery. There was a pause after the other two had walked away. Rachel thought for a moment, and then, urged by the fear that her audience might doze off, she exclaimed—
“No words have been more basely misused than hero and heroine. The one is the mere fighting animal whose strength or fortune have borne him through some more than ordinary danger, the other is only the subject of an adventure, perfectly irrespective of her conduct in it.”
“No words have been more poorly used than hero and heroine. A hero is just a fighter whose strength or luck has helped him survive some extraordinary danger, while a heroine is merely a person involved in an adventure, totally independent of her actions in it.”
“Bathos attends all high words,” he said, as she paused, chiefly to see whether he was awake, and not like her dumb playfellow of old.
“Bathos attends all high words,” he said, as she paused, mainly to check whether he was awake and not like her silent playmate from the past.
“This is not their natural bathos but their misuse. They ought to be reserved for those who in any department have passed the limits to which the necessity of their position constrained them, and done acts of self-devotion for the good of others. I will give you an instance, and from your own profession, that you may see I am not prejudiced, besides, the hero of it is past praise or blame.”
“This isn’t their natural depth but their misuse. They should be reserved for those who, in any field, have pushed beyond the limits their position imposed on them and performed acts of selflessness for the benefit of others. I’ll give you an example, and from your own profession, so you can see that I’m not biased; besides, the hero of this story is beyond praise or blame.”
Encouraged by seeing a little more of his eyes, she went on. “It was in the course of the siege of Delhi, a shell came into a tent where some sick and wounded were lying. There was one young officer among them who could move enough to have had a chance of escaping the explosion, but instead of that he took the shell up, its fuse burning as it was, and ran with it out of the tent, then hurled it to a distance. It exploded, and of course was his death, but the rest were saved, and I call that a deed of heroism far greater than mounting a breach or leading a forlorn hope.”
Encouraged by seeing a little more of his eyes, she continued. “During the siege of Delhi, a shell landed in a tent where some sick and wounded were lying. There was one young officer among them who was able to move enough to have had a chance of escaping the explosion, but instead, he picked up the shell, its fuse already burning, and ran out of the tent with it. He then threw it away, and it exploded, which obviously cost him his life, but the rest were saved. I consider that an act of heroism far greater than climbing over a breach or leading a hopeless charge.”
“Killed, you say?” inquired Mr. Keith, still in the same lethargic manner.
“Killed, you say?” Mr. Keith asked, still in the same sluggish manner.
“Oh yes, mortally wounded: carried back to die among the men he had saved.”
“Oh yes, fatally injured: brought back to die among the men he had saved.”
“Jessie Cameron singing his dirge,” mumbled this provoking individual, with something about the form of his cheek that being taken by Rachel for a derisive smile, made her exclaim vehemently, “You do not mean to undervalue an action like that in comparison with mere animal pugnacity in an advance.”
“Jessie Cameron singing his sad song,” mumbled this annoying person, with something about his cheek that Rachel interpreted as a mocking smile, prompting her to shout passionately, “You can’t possibly think that’s less valuable than just mindless aggression in a fight.”
“More than one’s duty was your test,” he said.
“More than just your duty was your test,” he said.
“And was not this more than duty? Ah! I see yours is a spirit of depreciation, and I can only say I pity you.”
“And isn’t this more than just duty? Ah! I see you have a spirit of negativity, and all I can say is that I feel sorry for you.”
He took the trouble to lift himself up and make a little bow of acknowledgment. Certainly he was worse than the Colonel; but Rachel, while mustering her powers for annihilating him, was annoyed by all the party in the drawing-room coming forth to join them, the other officers rallying young Keith upon his luxurious station, and making it evident that he was a proverb in the regiment for taking his ease. Chairs were brought out, and afternoon tea, and the callers sat down to wait for Colonel Keith to come in; Grace feeling obliged to stay to help Fanny entertain her visitors, and Rachel to protect her from their follies. One thing Grace began to perceive, that Lady Temple had in her former world been a person of much more consideration than she was made here, and seeing the polite and deferential manner of these officers to her, could only wonder at her gentle content and submission in meeting with no particular attention from anybody, and meekly allowing herself to be browbeaten by Rachel and lectured by her aunt.
He made the effort to stand up and give a little bow of acknowledgment. Clearly, he was worse than the Colonel; but Rachel, while gathering her thoughts to confront him, was irritated by the entire group in the drawing-room coming out to join them. The other officers were teasing young Keith about his comfortable position, making it obvious that he was a joke in the regiment for taking it easy. Chairs were brought out, and afternoon tea was served, as the visitors settled in to wait for Colonel Keith to arrive. Grace felt she had to stay to help Fanny entertain her guests, while Rachel stayed to protect her from their nonsense. One thing Grace began to realize was that Lady Temple had been a person of much higher standing in her previous life than she seemed to be here. Observing the polite and respectful way these officers treated her, Grace could only wonder at Lady Temple's calm acceptance and willingness to endure being overlooked by everyone, meekly letting Rachel dominate her and listen to her aunt's lectures.
A lecture was brewing up for her indeed. Poor Mrs. Curtis was very much concerned at the necessity, and only spurred up by a strong sense of duty to give a hint—the study of which hint cost her a whole sleepless night and a very weary Sunday morning. She decided that her best course would be to drive to Myrtlewood rather early on her way to church, and take up Fanny, gaining a previous conference with her alone, if possible. “Yes, my dear,” she said to Grace, “I must get it over before church, or it will make me so nervous all through the service.” And Grace, loving her mother best, durst not suggest what it might do to Fanny, hoping that the service might help her to digest the hint.
A lecture was definitely on the horizon for her. Poor Mrs. Curtis was quite worried about the need for it and was driven solely by a strong sense of duty to drop a hint—the kind of hint that took her an entire sleepless night and a very exhausting Sunday morning to come up with. She figured her best plan would be to drive to Myrtlewood early on her way to church and pick up Fanny, hoping for a chance to talk to her one-on-one if possible. “Yes, my dear,” she told Grace, “I need to get this done before church, or it will make me so anxious during the service.” And Grace, who loved her mother most, didn’t dare suggest what it might do to Fanny, hoping that the service might help her process the hint.
Mrs. Curtis’s regular habits were a good deal shocked to find Fanny still at the breakfast table. The children had indeed long finished, and were scattered about the room, one of them standing between Colonel Keith’s knees, repeating a hymn; but the younger guest was still in the midst of his meal, and owned in his usual cool manner that he was to blame for the lateness, there was no resisting the charms of no morning parade.
Mrs. Curtis was quite surprised to find Fanny still at the breakfast table. The kids had already finished and were all over the room, with one of them standing between Colonel Keith's knees, reciting a hymn; but the younger guest was still in the middle of his meal, casually admitting that he was responsible for being late, as he just couldn't resist the appeal of skipping the morning parade.
Her aunt’s appearance made Fanny imagine it much later than it really was, and she hurried off the children to be dressed, and proceeded herself to her room, Mrs. Curtis following, and by way of preliminary, asking when Colonel Keith was going to Ireland.
Her aunt's appearance made Fanny think it was much later than it actually was, so she rushed the kids to get dressed and went to her room, with Mrs. Curtis following her and starting off by asking when Colonel Keith was heading to Ireland.
“Oh!” said Fanny, blushing most suspiciously under her secret, “he is not going to Ireland now.”
“Oh!” said Fanny, blushing quite noticeably with her secret, “he’s not going to Ireland right now.”
“Indeed! I quite understood he intended it.”
“Definitely! I completely understood that he meant it.”
“Yes,” faltered Fanny, “but he found that he need not.”
“Yes,” hesitated Fanny, “but he discovered that he didn't have to.”
“Indeed!” again ejaculated poor perplexed Mrs. Curtis; “but then, at least, he is going away soon.”
“Absolutely!” exclaimed poor confused Mrs. Curtis again; “but at least he’s leaving soon.”
“He must go to Scotland by-and-by, but for the present he is going into lodgings. Do you know of any nice ones, dear aunt?”
“He has to go to Scotland eventually, but for now, he’s looking for a place to stay. Do you know of any nice ones, dear aunt?”
“Well, I suppose you can’t help that; you know, my dear, it would never do for him to stay in this house.”
“Well, I guess you can't help that; you know, my dear, it wouldn't be right for him to stay in this house.”
“I never thought of that,” said Fanny simply, the colour coming in a fresh glow.
“I never thought of that,” Fanny said simply, her cheeks flushing with a fresh glow.
“No, my dear, but you see you are very young and inexperienced. I do not say you have done anything the least amiss, or that you ever would mean it, only you will forgive your old aunt for putting you on your guard.”
“No, my dear, but you see you are very young and inexperienced. I’m not saying you’ve done anything wrong, or that you would ever intend to, but please forgive your old aunt for wanting to keep you on your toes.”
Fanny kissed her, but with eyes full of tears, and cheeks burning, then her candour drew from her—“It was he that thought of getting a lodging. I am glad I did not persuade him not; but you know he always did live with us.”
Fanny kissed her, her eyes brimming with tears and her cheeks flushed. Then, with honesty, she admitted, “It was him who suggested getting a place to stay. I’m glad I didn’t talk him out of it; after all, he always lived with us.”
“With us. Yes, my poor dear, that is the difference, and you see he feels it. But, indeed, my dear child, though he is a very good man, I dare say, and quite a gentleman all but his beard, you had better not encourage—You know people are so apt to make remarks.”
“With us. Yes, my poor dear, that is the difference, and you see he feels it. But, truly, my dear child, even though he is a very good man, I’m sure, and quite a gentleman except for his beard, you’d be better off not encouraging—You know how people can be so quick to comment.”
“I have no fear,” said Fanny, turning away her head, conscious of the impossibility of showing her aunt her mistake.
“I’m not afraid,” Fanny said, turning her head away, aware that it was impossible to show her aunt where she went wrong.
“Ah! my dear, you don’t guess how ready people are to talk; and you would not like—for your children’s sake, for your husband’s sake—that—that—”
“Ah! my dear, you can’t imagine how eager people are to gossip; and you wouldn’t want— for your children’s sake, for your husband’s sake—that—that—”
“Pray, pray aunt,” cried Fanny, much pained, “indeed you don’t know. My husband had confidence in him more than in any one. He told him to take care of me and look after the boys. I couldn’t hold aloof from him without transgressing those wishes”—and the words were lost in a sob.
“Please, please, aunt,” Fanny exclaimed, clearly distressed, “you really don’t understand. My husband trusted him more than anyone else. He asked him to look after me and take care of the boys. I couldn’t stay away from him without going against those wishes”—and her words trailed off in a sob.
“My dear, indeed I did not mean to distress you. You know, I dare say—I mean—” hesitated poor Mrs. Curtis. “I know you must see a great deal of him. I only want you to take care—appearances are appearances, and if it was said you had all these young officers always coming about—”
“My dear, I truly didn't mean to upset you. You know, I must say—I mean—” poor Mrs. Curtis hesitated. “I know you must spend a lot of time with him. I just want you to be careful—appearances can be deceiving, and if people were to say you had all these young officers visiting all the time—”
“I don’t think they will come. It was only just to call, and they have known me so long. It is all out of respect to my father and Sir Stephen,” said Fanny, meekly as ever. “Indeed, I would not for the world do anything you did not like, dear aunt; but there can’t be any objection to my having Mrs. Hammond and the children to spend the day to-morrow.”
“I don’t think they will come. It was just a call, and they’ve known me for so long. It’s all out of respect for my father and Sir Stephen,” said Fanny, as humble as ever. “Honestly, I wouldn’t do anything you didn't like for the world, dear aunt; but there’s no reason I can’t have Mrs. Hammond and the kids over to spend the day tomorrow.”
Mrs. Curtis did not like it; she had an idea that all military ladies were dashing and vulgar, but she could not say there was any objection, so she went on to the head of poor Fanny’s offending. “This young man, my dear, he seems to make himself very intimate.”
Mrs. Curtis didn't like it; she thought all military women were flashy and rude, but she couldn't really complain, so she moved on to the issue with poor Fanny. “This young man, my dear, he seems to be getting quite close.”
“Alick Keith? Oh aunt!” said Fanny, more surprised than by all the rest; “don’t you know about him? His father and mother were our greatest friends always; I used to play with him every day till I came to you. And then just as I married, poor Mrs. Keith died, and we had dear little Bessie with us till her father could send her home. And when poor Alick was so dreadfully wounded before Delhi, Sir Stephen sent him up in a litter to the hills for mamma and me to nurse. Mamma was so fond of him, she used to call him her son.”
“Alick Keith? Oh aunt!” said Fanny, more surprised than by everything else. “Don’t you know about him? His parents were our closest friends always; I played with him every day until I came to you. And then just as I got married, poor Mrs. Keith passed away, and we had sweet little Bessie with us until her dad could send her home. And when poor Alick was so badly wounded before Delhi, Sir Stephen sent him up in a litter to the hills for mom and me to take care of. Mom loved him so much, she used to call him her son.”
“Yes, my dear, I dare say you have been very intimate; but you see you are very young; and his staying here—”
“Yes, my dear, I must say you have been quite close; but you see, you are very young; and his staying here—”
“I thought he would be so glad to come and be with the Colonel, who was his guardian and Bessie’s,” said Fanny, “and I have promised to have Bessie to stay with me, she was such a dear little thing—”
“I thought he would be so happy to come and be with the Colonel, who was his guardian and Bessie’s,” said Fanny, “and I promised to have Bessie stay with me; she was such a sweet little thing—”
“Well, my dear, it may be a good thing for you to have a young lady with you, and if he is to come over, her presence will explain it. Understand me, my dear, I am not at all afraid of your—your doing anything foolish, only to get talked of is so dreadful in your situation, that you can’t be too careful.”
“Well, my dear, it might be good for you to have a young lady with you, and if he is coming over, her presence will clarify things. Understand, my dear, I’m not at all worried about you doing anything foolish; it’s just that getting talked about is really terrible in your situation, so you can’t be too careful.”
“Yes, yes, thank you, dear aunt,” murmured the drooping and subdued Fanny, aware how much the remonstrance must cost her aunt, and sure that she must be in fault in some way, if she could only see how. “Please, dear aunt, help me, for indeed I don’t know how to manage—tell me how to be civil and kind to my dear husband’s friends without—without—”
“Yes, yes, thank you, dear aunt,” murmured the tired and subdued Fanny, knowing how difficult this must be for her aunt and feeling sure that she must have done something wrong, if only she could figure out what. “Please, dear aunt, help me, because I really don’t know how to handle this—tell me how to be polite and kind to my dear husband’s friends without—without—”
Her voice broke down, though she kept from tears as an unkindness to her aunt.
Her voice trembled, but she held back tears, thinking it would be unkind to her aunt.
In very fact, little as she knew it, she could not have defended herself better than by this humble question, throwing the whole guidance of her conduct upon her aunt. If she had been affronted, Mrs. Curtis could have been displeased; but to be thus set to prescribe the right conduct, was at once mollifying and perplexing.
In reality, as little as she realized it, she couldn't have defended herself better than by asking this simple question, putting the entire responsibility for her actions on her aunt. If she had been insulted, Mrs. Curtis might have been upset; but being put in the position to dictate the proper behavior was both soothing and confusing.
“Well, well, my dear child, we all know you wish to do right; you can judge best. I would not have you ungrateful or uncivil, only you know you are living very quietly, and intimacy—oh! my dear, I know your own feeling will direct you. Dear child! you have taken what I said so kindly. And now let me see that dear little girl.”
“Well, well, my dear child, we all know you want to do the right thing; you can decide best. I wouldn’t want you to be ungrateful or rude, but you know you’re living very quietly, and closeness—oh! my dear, I know your own feelings will guide you. Dear child! you took what I said so kindly. And now let me see that sweet little girl.”
Rachel had not anticipated that the upshot of a remonstrance, even from her mother, would be that Fanny was to be directed by her own feeling!
Rachel hadn't expected that the outcome of a complaint, even from her mom, would be that Fanny would be guided by her own feelings!
That same feeling took Lady Temple to Mackarel Lane later in the day. She had told the Colonel her intention, and obtained Alison’s assurance that Ermine’s stay at Myrtlewood need not be impracticable, and armed with their consent, she made her timid tap at Miss Williams’ door, and showed her sweet face within it.
That same feeling led Lady Temple to Mackarel Lane later in the day. She had informed the Colonel of her plans and got Alison’s assurance that Ermine’s stay at Myrtlewood would be manageable. With their consent in hand, she gently tapped on Miss Williams’ door and peeked her sweet face inside.
“May I come in? Your sister and your little niece are gone for a walk. I told them I would come! I did want to see you!”
“Can I come in? Your sister and your little niece went for a walk. I told them I would stop by! I really wanted to see you!”
“Thank you,” said Ermine, with a sweet smile, colouring cheek, yet grave eyes, and much taken by surprise at being seized by both hands, and kissed on each cheek.
“Thank you,” Ermine said, with a sweet smile, blushing cheeks, but serious eyes, and quite surprised when she was grabbed by both hands and kissed on each cheek.
“Yes, you must let me,” said her visitor, looking up with her pretty imploring gesture, “you know I have known him so long, and he has been so good to me!”
“Yes, you have to let me,” said her visitor, looking up with her cute pleading gesture, “you know I’ve known him for so long, and he’s been so good to me!”
“Indeed it is very kind in you,” said Ermine, fully feeling the force of the plea expressed in the winning young face and gentle eyes full of tears.
“It's really kind of you,” said Ermine, fully aware of the emotion behind the plea in the charming young face and gentle, tear-filled eyes.
“Oh, no, I could not help it. I am only so sorry we kept him away from you when you wanted him so much; but we did not know, and he was Sir Stephen’s right hand, and we none of us knew what to do without him; but if he had only told—”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t help it. I’m really sorry we kept him from you when you wanted him so much; but we didn’t know, and he was Sir Stephen’s right hand, and none of us knew what to do without him; but if he had only said—”
“Thank you, oh, thank you!” said Ermine, “but indeed it was better for him to be away.”
“Thank you, oh, thank you!” said Ermine, “but really, it was better for him to be gone.”
Even her wish to console that pleading little widow could not make her say that his coming would not have been good for her. “It has been such a pleasure to hear he had so kind and happy a home all these years.”
Even her desire to comfort that desperate little widow couldn’t make her say that his arrival wouldn’t have been good for her. “It’s been such a pleasure to hear he’s had such a kind and happy home all these years.”
“Oh, you cannot think how Sir Stephen loved and valued him. The one thing I always did wish was, that Conrade should grow up to be as much help and comfort to his father, and now he never can! But,” driving back a tear, “it was so hard that you should not have known how distinguished and useful and good he was all those years. Only now I shall have the pleasure of telling you,” and she smiled. She was quite a different being when free from the unsympathizing influence which, without her understanding it, had kept her from dwelling on her dearest associations.
“Oh, you can’t imagine how much Sir Stephen loved and appreciated him. The only thing I always hoped for was that Conrade would grow up to be as much help and comfort to his father, and now he never can! But,” wiping away a tear, “it’s so unfortunate that you didn’t know how distinguished, useful, and good he was all those years. At least now I’ll have the pleasure of telling you,” and she smiled. She was a completely different person when she was free from the unsympathetic influence that, without her realizing it, had kept her from focusing on her most cherished memories.
“It will be a pleasure of pleasures,” said Ermine, eagerly.
“It will be a great pleasure,” said Ermine, eagerly.
“Then you will do me a favour, a very great favour,” said Lady Temple, laying hold of her hand again, “if you and your sister and niece will come and stay with me.” And as Ermine commenced her refusal, she went on in the same coaxing way, with a description of her plans for Ermine’s comfort, giving her two rooms on the ground floor, and assuring her of the absence of steps, the immunity from all teasing by the children, of the full consent of her sister, and the wishes of the Colonel, nay, when Ermine was still unpersuaded of the exceeding kindness it would be to herself. “You see I am terribly young, really,” she said, “though I have so many boys, and my aunt thinks it awkward for me to have so many officers calling, and I can’t keep them away because they are my father’s and Sir Stephen’s old friends; so please do come and make it all right!”
“Then you’ll do me a huge favor,” said Lady Temple, grabbing her hand again, “if you, your sister, and your niece will come and stay with me.” And as Ermine started to refuse, she continued in the same persuasive tone, describing her plans to make Ermine comfortable, offering her two rooms on the ground floor, and assuring her there would be no steps to deal with, no teasing from the kids, full support from her sister, and the Colonel’s wishes as well. Even when Ermine still wasn’t convinced about how kind this would be for her, Lady Temple added, “You see, I’m really quite young, despite having all these boys, and my aunt thinks it’s awkward for me to have so many officers dropping by. I can’t keep them away since they’re old friends of my father’s and Sir Stephen’s, so please come and help make everything better!”
Ermine was driven so hard, and so entirely deprived of all excuse, that she had no alternative left but to come to the real motive.
Ermine was pushed so hard and completely stripped of any justification that she had no choice but to reveal the true reason.
“I ought not,” she said, “it is not good for him, so you must not press me, dear Lady Temple. You see it is best for him that nobody should ever know of what has been between us.”
“I shouldn’t,” she said, “it’s not good for him, so please don’t push me, dear Lady Temple. You see, it’s best for him that no one ever finds out about what happened between us.”
“What! don’t you mean—?” exclaimed Fanny, breaking short off.
“What! You don’t mean—?” exclaimed Fanny, cutting off abruptly.
“I cannot!” said Ermine.
“I can't!” said Ermine.
“But he would like it. He wishes it as much as ever.”
“But he would like it. He still wishes for it just as much.”
“I know he does,” said Ermine, with a troubled voice; “but you see that is because he did not know what a wretched remnant I am, and he never has had time to think about any one else.”
“I know he does,” Ermine said, her voice filled with concern; “but that’s because he doesn’t realize what a miserable leftover I am, and he’s never had the chance to think about anyone else.”
“Oh no, no.”
“Oh no, no.”
“And it would be very unfair of me to take advantage of that, and give him such a thing as I am.”
"And it would be really unfair of me to take advantage of that and give him something like I am."
“Oh dear, but that is very sad!” cried Fanny, looking much startled.
“Oh no, that’s really sad!” exclaimed Fanny, looking very surprised.
“But I am sure you must see that it is right.”
“But I’m sure you can see that it’s the right thing to do.”
“It may be right,” and out burst Fanny’s ready tears; “but it is very, very hard and disagreeable, if you don’t mind my saying so, when I know it is so good of you. And don’t you mean to let him even see you, when he has been constant so long?”
“It might be true,” and Fanny couldn’t hold back her tears; “but it’s really, really difficult and unpleasant, if you don’t mind me saying that, especially since I know how kind you are. And aren’t you going to let him at least see you after he’s been so loyal for so long?”
“No; I see no reason for denying myself that; indeed I believe it is better for him to grow used to me as I am, and be convinced of the impossibility.”
“No; I have no reason to deny myself that; in fact, I believe it’s better for him to get used to me as I am and to understand that it’s impossible.”
“Well then, why will you not come to me?”
“Well then, why won’t you come to me?”
“Do you not see, in all your kindness, that my coming to you would make every one know the terms between us, while no one remarks his just coming to me here as an old friend? And if he were ever to turn his mind to any one else—”
“Don’t you see, with all your kindness, that my coming to you would make everyone aware of our situation, while no one would notice his casual visit to me as an old friend? And if he ever decided to focus on anyone else—”
“He will never do that, I am sure.”
“He's never going to do that, I'm sure.”
“There is no knowing. He has never been, in his own estimation, disengaged from me,” said Ermine; “his brother is bent on his marrying, and he ought to be perfectly free to do so, and not under the disadvantage that any report of this affair would be to him.”
“There’s no way to know. He has never felt, in his own view, detached from me,” said Ermine; “his brother is determined for him to marry, and he should be completely free to do that, without the disadvantage of any rumors about this situation affecting him.”
“Well, I am sure he never will,” said Fanny, almost petulantly; “I know I shall hate her, that’s all.”
“Well, I’m sure he never will,” Fanny said, sounding a bit sulky. “I just know I’m going to hate her, that’s all.”
Ermine thought her own charity towards Mrs. Colin Keith much more dubious than Lady Temple’s, but she continued—
Ermine considered her own kindness towards Mrs. Colin Keith to be much more questionable than Lady Temple’s, but she went on—
“At any rate you will be so very kind as not to let any one know of it. I am glad you do. I should not feel it right that you should not, but it is different with others.”
“At any rate, please be kind enough not to let anyone know about it. I’m glad you do. I wouldn’t feel right if you didn’t, but it’s different for others.”
“Thank you. And if you will not come to me, you will let me come to you, won’t you? It will be so nice to come and talk him over with you. Perhaps I shall persuade you some of these days after all. Only I must go now, for I always give the children their tea on Sunday. But please let your dear little niece come up to-morrow and play with them; the little Hammonds will be there, she is just their age.”
“Thank you. And if you won’t come to me, you’ll let me come to you, right? It would be so nice to come and discuss things with you. Maybe I’ll convince you to do something about it someday. But I have to go now because I always give the kids their tea on Sundays. Please let your sweet little niece come over tomorrow and play with them; the little Hammonds will be there, and she’s just their age.”
Ermine felt obliged to grant this at least, though she was as doubtful of her shy Rose’s happiness as of the expedience of the intimacy; but there was no being ungracious to the gentle visitor, and no doubt Ermine felt rejoiced and elevated. She did not need fresh assurances of Colin’s constancy, but the affectionate sister-like congratulations of this loving, winning creature, showed how real and in earnest his intentions were. And then Lady Temple’s grateful esteem for him being, as it was, the reflection of her husband’s, was no small testimony to his merits.
Ermine felt she had to at least agree to this, even though she was just as unsure about her shy Rose’s happiness as she was about the wisdom of the closeness; but she couldn’t be rude to the kind visitor, and without a doubt, Ermine felt happy and uplifted. She didn’t need more reassurance of Colin’s loyalty, but the warm, sisterly congratulations from this affectionate, charming person showed just how genuine and serious his intentions were. Plus, Lady Temple’s grateful admiration for him, which mirrored her husband’s, was a significant testament to his qualities.
“Pretty creature!” said Ermine to herself, “really if it did come to that, I could spare him to her better than to any one else. She has some notion how to value him.”
“Pretty creature!” Ermine said to herself, “Honestly, if it came down to it, I could part with him for her more than anyone else. She understands how to appreciate him.”
Alison and Rose had, in the meantime, been joined by Colonel Keith and the boys, whom Alick had early deserted in favour of a sunny sandy nook. The Colonel’s purpose was hard on poor Alison; it was to obtain her opinion of her sister’s decision, and the likelihood of persistence in it. It was not, perhaps, bad for either that they conversed under difficulties, the boys continually coming back to them from excursions on the rocks, and Rose holding her aunt’s hand all the time, but to be sure Rose had heard nearly all the Colonel’s affairs, and somehow mixed him up with Henry of Cranstoun.
Alison and Rose had, in the meantime, been joined by Colonel Keith and the boys, who Alick had earlier left for a sunny spot on the sand. The Colonel's aim was tough on poor Alison; he wanted to get her opinion on her sister's decision and whether she would stick with it. It wasn't necessarily bad for either of them that they were talking under challenging conditions, with the boys frequently returning from their adventures on the rocks, and Rose holding her aunt's hand the entire time. However, Rose had heard almost all of the Colonel's stories and somehow mixed him up with Henry of Cranstoun.
Very tenderly towards Alison herself did Colin Keith speak. It was the first time they had ever been brought into close contact, and she had quite to learn to know him. She had regarded his return as probably a misfortune, but it was no longer possible to do so when she heard his warm and considerate way of speaking of her sister, and saw him only desirous of learning what was most for her real happiness. Nay, he even made a convert of Alison herself! She did believe that would Ermine but think it right to consent, she would be happy and safe in the care of one who knew so well how to love her. Terrible as the wrench would be to Alison herself, she thought he deserved her sister, and that she would be as happy with him as earth could make her. But she did not believe Ermine would ever accept him. She knew the strong, unvarying resolution by which her sister had always held to what she thought right, and did not conceive that it would waver. The acquiescence in his visits, and the undisguised exultant pleasure in his society, were evidences to Alison not of wavering or relenting, but of confidence in Ermine’s own sense of impossibility. She durst not give him any hope, though she owned that he merited success. “Did she think his visits bad for her sister?” he then asked in the unselfishness that pleaded so strongly for him.
Colin Keith spoke very gently to Alison. It was the first time they had been in close contact, and she needed to get to know him better. Initially, she thought his return might be a misfortune, but that changed when she heard his warm and thoughtful words about her sister and saw that he truly wanted to know what would make her sister happiest. In fact, he even won Alison over! She believed that if Ermine would just agree, she'd be happy and safe with someone who knew how to love her well. As difficult as it would be for Alison, she felt he deserved her sister, and that Ermine would be as happy with him as anyone could be. Still, she couldn't imagine Ermine ever accepting him. She was aware of her sister's strong, unwavering determination to stick to what she believed was right, and she didn’t think that would change. The fact that Ermine allowed his visits and seemed genuinely happy in his company only showed Alison that she had confidence in her sister’s conviction that it was impossible. She didn't dare to give him any hope, even though she thought he deserved to succeed. “Did she think his visits were bad for her sister?” he then asked, his selflessness making a compelling case for him.
“No, certainly not,” she answered eagerly, then made a little hesitation that made him ask further.
“No, definitely not,” she replied eagerly, but then paused just enough for him to ask more.
“My only fear,” she said candidly, “is, that if this is pressed much on her, and she has to struggle with you and herself too, it may hurt her health. Trouble tells not on her cheerfulness, but on her nerves.”
“My only fear,” she said honestly, “is that if this is pushed too much on her, and she has to battle with you and herself as well, it might impact her health. Stress doesn’t affect her happiness, but it does wear on her nerves.”
“Thank you,” he said, “I will refrain.”
“Thanks,” he said, “I’ll skip.”
Alison was much happier than she had been since the first apprehension of his return. The first pang at seeing Ermine’s heart another’s property had been subdued; the present state of affairs was indefinitely-prolonged, and she not only felt trust in Colin Keith’s consideration for her sister, but she knew that an act of oblivion was past on her perpetration of the injury. She was right. His original pitying repugnance to a mere unknown child could not be carried on to the grave, saddened woman devoted to her sister, and in the friendly brotherly tone of that interview, each understood the other. And when Alison came home and said, “I have been walking with Colin,” her look made Ermine very happy.
Alison was much happier than she had been since she first realized he was coming back. The initial sting of seeing Ermine’s heart belong to someone else had faded; the current situation was dragging on, and she not only felt confident in Colin Keith’s care for her sister, but she also knew that a moment of forgiveness had passed regarding her past hurt. She was right. His initial pity and distaste for a mere unknown child couldn’t last against the backdrop of a sad woman devoted to her sister, and during that friendly, brotherly conversation, they both understood each other. When Alison got home and said, “I’ve been out walking with Colin,” her expression made Ermine very happy.
“And learning to know him.”
“Getting to know him.”
“Learning to sympathize with him, Ermine,” with steady eyes and voice. “You are hard on him.”
“Learn to empathize with him, Ermine,” said with steady eyes and voice. “You're being tough on him.”
“Now, Ailie,” said Ermine, “once for all, he is not to set you on me, as he has done with Lady Temple. The more he persuades me, the better I know that to listen would be an abuse of his constancy. It would set him wrong with his brother, and, as dear Edward’s affairs stand, we have no right to carry the supposed disgrace into a family that would believe it, though he does not. If I were ever so well, I should not think it right to marry. I shall not shun the sight of him; it is delightful to me, and a less painful cure to him than sending him away would be. It is in the nature of things that he should cool into a friendly kindly feeling, and I shall try to bear it. Or if he does marry, it will be all right I suppose—” but her voice faltered, and she gave a sort of broken laugh.
“Now, Ailie,” said Ermine, “once and for all, he can't be using you to get to me like he did with Lady Temple. The more he tries to convince me, the more I realize that listening would be a betrayal of his loyalty. It would put him at odds with his brother, and with dear Edward’s situation as it is, we can't drag a supposed scandal into a family that would buy into it, even if he doesn’t. Even if I were perfectly fine, I wouldn’t feel right about getting married. I won’t avoid seeing him; I enjoy it, and it’s a less painful way for him to heal than sending him away. It’s natural for him to develop a friendly, warm feeling, and I’ll try to handle that. Or if he does get married, I guess that will be fine—” but her voice trailed off, and she gave a sort of broken laugh.
“There,” she said, with a recovered flash of liveliness, “there’s my resolution, to do what I like more than anything in the world as long as I can; and when it is over I shall be helped to do without it!”
“There,” she said, with a renewed spark of energy, “there’s my resolution: to do what I enjoy most in the world for as long as I can; and when it’s over, I’ll find a way to cope without it!”
“I can’t believe—” broke out Alison.
“I can’t believe it—” Alison exclaimed.
“Not in your heart, but in your reason,” said Ermine, endeavouring to smile. “He will hover about here, and always be kind, loving, considerate; but a time will come that he will want the home happiness I cannot give. Then he will not wear out his affection on the impossible literary cripple, but begin over again, and be happy. And, Alison, if your love for me is of the sound, strong sort I know it is, you will help me through with it, and never say one word to make all this less easy and obvious to him.”
“Not with your feelings, but with your logic,” said Ermine, trying to smile. “He will stick around here and always be kind, loving, and thoughtful; but eventually, he’ll want the home happiness I can’t provide. Then, he won’t waste his love on the impossible literary cripple, but will start fresh and be happy. And, Alison, if your love for me is the solid, genuine kind I believe it is, you’ll help me get through this and never say anything to make it harder or more clear to him.”
CHAPTER VII. WAITNG FOR ROSE
“Not envy, sure! for if you gave me Leave to take or to refuse In earnest, do you think I’d choose That sort of new love to enslave me?”—R. BROWNING.
“Not envy, of course! If you let me choose to accept or decline, do you really think I would pick that kind of new love to trap me?” —R. BROWNING.
So, instead of going to Belfast, here was Colonel Keith actually taking a lodging and settling himself into it; nay, even going over to Avoncester on a horse-buying expedition, not merely for the Temples, but for himself.
So, instead of heading to Belfast, here was Colonel Keith actually getting a place to stay and settling in; in fact, he even went over to Avoncester on a horse-buying trip, not just for the Temples, but for himself.
This time Rachel did think herself sure of Miss Williams’ ear in peace, and came down on her with two fat manuscripts upon Human Reeds and Military Society, preluding, however, by bitter complaints of the “Traveller” for never having vouchsafed her an answer, nor having even restored “Curatocult,” though she had written three times, and sent a directed envelope and stamps for the purpose. The paper must be ruined by so discourteous an editor, indeed she had not been nearly so much interested as usual by the last few numbers. If only she could get her paper back, she should try the “Englishwoman’s Hobby-horse,” or some other paper of more progress than that “Traveller.” “Is it not very hard to feel one’s self shut out from the main stream of the work of the world when one’s heart is burning?”
This time, Rachel was sure she had Miss Williams’ attention, and she approached her with two hefty manuscripts on Human Reeds and Military Society. However, she started off with some harsh complaints about the “Traveller” for never giving her a response or even returning “Curatocult,” despite her writing three times and including a stamped, addressed envelope for their convenience. That paper must be suffering from such an inconsiderate editor; in fact, she hadn't been nearly as engaged with the last few issues. If she could just get her paper back, she'd submit it to the “Englishwoman’s Hobby-horse” or some other publication that was more progressive than that “Traveller.” “Isn’t it really frustrating to feel completely shut out from the main currents of the world’s work when you’re so passionate?”
“I think you overrate the satisfaction.”
“I think you’re overestimating the satisfaction.”
“You can’t tell! You are contented with that sort of home peaceful sunshine that I know suffices many. Even intellectual as you are, you can’t tell what it is to feel power within, to strain at the leash, and see others in the race.”
“You can’t tell! You are happy with that kind of cozy, sunny home, which I know is enough for many. Even though you’re intelligent, you can’t understand what it feels like to have power inside, to push against the limits, and watch others in the race.”
“I was thinking whether you could not make an acceptable paper on the lace system, which you really know so thoroughly.”
“I was wondering if you could write a good paper on the lace system, which you know so well.”
“The fact is,” said Rachel, “it is much more difficult to describe from one’s own observation than from other sources.”
“The fact is,” Rachel said, “it’s much harder to describe something based on your own experience than it is to rely on other sources.”
“But rather more original,” said Ermine, quite overcome by the naivete of the confession.
“But actually more original,” said Ermine, completely taken aback by the honesty of the confession.
“I don’t see that,” said Rachel. “It is abstract reasoning from given facts that I aim at, as you will understand when you have heard my ‘Human Reeds,’ and my other—dear me, there’s your door bell. I thought that Colonel was gone for the day.”
“I don’t see that,” Rachel said. “I’m focusing on abstract reasoning from given facts, as you’ll understand once you’ve heard my ‘Human Reeds’ and my other—oh dear, there’s your doorbell. I thought the Colonel was done for the day.”
“There are other people in the world besides the Colonel,” Ermine began to say, though she hardly felt as if there were, and at any rate a sense of rescue crossed her. The persons admitted took them equally by surprise, being Conrade Temple and Mr. Keith.
“There are other people in the world besides the Colonel,” Ermine started to say, even though she barely felt that way, and in any case, a feeling of rescue washed over her. The people who joined them surprised them just as much, as it was Conrade Temple and Mr. Keith.
“I thought,” said Rachel, as she gave her unwilling hand to the latter, “that you would have been at Avoncester to-day.”
“I thought,” Rachel said, extending her reluctant hand to the other person, “that you would be at Avoncester today.”
“I always get out of the way of horse-dealing. I know no greater bore,” he answered.
“I always steer clear of horse trading. I can't think of anything more boring,” he replied.
“Mamma sent me down,” Conrade was explaining; “Mr. Keith’s uncle found out that he knew Miss Williams—no, that’s not it, Miss Williams’ uncle found out that Mr. Keith preached a sermon, or something of that sort, so mamma sent me down to show him the way to call upon her; but I need not stay now, need I?”
“Mama sent me down,” Conrade was explaining; “Mr. Keith’s uncle found out that he knew Miss Williams—no, that’s not it, Miss Williams’ uncle found out that Mr. Keith gave a sermon or something like that, so mama sent me down to show him how to visit her; but I don’t need to stick around now, do I?”
“After that elegant introduction, and lucid explanation, I think you may be excused,” returned Alick Keith.
“After that classy introduction and clear explanation, I think you can be excused,” replied Alick Keith.
The boy shook Ermine’s hand with his soldierly grace, but rather spoilt the effect thereof by his aside, “I wanted to see the toad and the pictures our Miss Williams told me about, but I’ll come another time;” and the wink of his black eyes, and significant shrug of his shoulders at Rachel, were irresistible. They all laughed, even Rachel herself, as Ermine, seeing it would be worse to ignore the demonstration, said, “The elements of aunt and boy do not always work together.”
The boy shook Ermine’s hand with a soldierly grace, but kind of ruined the moment with his comment, “I wanted to see the toad and the pictures our Miss Williams told me about, but I’ll come another time;” along with the wink of his dark eyes and a meaningful shrug of his shoulders at Rachel, which were hard to resist. They all laughed, even Rachel herself, as Ermine, realizing it would be worse to ignore the gesture, said, “The elements of aunt and boy don’t always blend well.”
“No,” said Rachel; “I have never been forgiven for being the first person who tried to keep those boys in order.”
“No,” Rachel said; “I’ve never been forgiven for being the first person who tried to keep those boys in line.”
“And now,” said Ermine, turning to her other visitor, “perhaps I may discover which of us, or of our uncles, preached a sermon.”
“And now,” said Ermine, turning to her other visitor, “maybe I can find out which of us, or our uncles, gave a sermon.”
“Mine, I suspect,” returned Mr. Keith. “Your sister and I made out at luncheon that you had known my uncle, Mr. Clare, of Bishopsworthy.”
“Mine, I think,” replied Mr. Keith. “Your sister and I figured out at lunch that you knew my uncle, Mr. Clare, of Bishopsworthy.”
“Mr. Clare! Oh yes,” cried Ermine eagerly, “he took the duty for one of our curates once for a long vacation. Did you ever hear him speak of Beauchamp?”
“Mr. Clare! Oh yes,” Ermine exclaimed eagerly, “he covered for one of our curates once during a long vacation. Did you ever hear him mention Beauchamp?”
“Yes, often; and of Dr. Williams. He will be very much interested to hear of you.”
“Yes, often; and about Dr. Williams. He will be very interested to hear about you.”
“It was a time I well remember,” said Ermine. “He was an Oxford tutor then, and I was about fourteen, just old enough to be delighted to hear clever talk. And his sermons were memorable; they were the first I ever listened to.”
“It was a time I remember well,” said Ermine. “He was a tutor at Oxford back then, and I was around fourteen, just old enough to really enjoy hearing smart conversations. And his sermons were unforgettable; they were the first ones I ever attended.”
“There are few sermons that it is not an infliction to listen to,” began Rachel, but she was not heard or noticed.
“There are very few sermons that aren’t a struggle to sit through,” Rachel started, but nobody heard or paid attention to her.
“I assure you they are even more striking now in his blindness.”
“I promise you they are even more eye-catching now that he is blind.”
“Blindness! Indeed, I had not heard of that.”
“Blindness! Wow, I hadn’t heard about that.”
Even Rachel listened with interest as the young officer explained that his uncle, whom both he and Miss Williams talked of as a man of note, of whom every one must have heard, had for the last four years been totally blind, but continued to be an active parish priest, visiting regularly, preaching, and taking a share in the service, which he knew by heart. He had, of course, a curate, who lived with him, and took very good care of him.
Even Rachel listened intently as the young officer explained that his uncle, whom both he and Miss Williams referred to as a notable figure everyone must have heard of, had been completely blind for the past four years but still remained an active parish priest, regularly visiting, preaching, and participating in the service, which he knew by heart. He had, of course, a curate who lived with him and took excellent care of him.
“No one else?” said Rachel. “I thought your sister lived at Bishopsworthy.”
“No one else?” Rachel asked. “I thought your sister lived in Bishopsworthy.”
“No, my sister lives, or has lived, at Little Worthy, the next parish, and as unlike it as possible. It has a railroad in it, and the cockneys have come down on it and ‘villafied’ it. My aunt, Mrs. Lacy Clare, has lived there ever since my sister has been with her; but now her last daughter is to be married, she wishes to give up housekeeping.”
“No, my sister lives, or has lived, in Little Worthy, the next parish, and it’s as different from here as you can get. It has a train station, and the city folks have come in and turned it into a suburban area. My aunt, Mrs. Lacy Clare, has lived there ever since my sister moved in with her; but now that her youngest daughter is getting married, she wants to stop managing a household.”
“And your sister is coming to Lady Temple,” said Rachel, in her peculiar affirmative way of asking questions. “She will find it very dull here.”
“And your sister is coming to Lady Temple,” Rachel said, using her usual way of asking things. “She’ll find it really boring here.”
“With all the advantages of Avoncester at hand?” inquired Alick, with a certain gleam under his flaxen eyelashes that convinced Ermine that he said it in mischief. But Rachel drew herself up gravely, and answered—
“With all the advantages of Avoncester at hand?” Alick asked, a glint in his light-colored eyelashes that made Ermine think he was being playful. But Rachel straightened up seriously and replied—
“In Lady Temple’s situation any such thing would be most inconsistent with good feeling.”
“In Lady Temple’s situation, anything like that would be completely at odds with having good feelings.”
“Such as the cathedral?” calmly, not to say sleepily, inquired Alick, to the excessive diversion of Ermine, who saw that Rachel had never been laughed at in her life, and was utterly at a loss what to make of it.
“Like the cathedral?” Alick asked calmly, almost sleepily, which greatly amused Ermine, who realized that Rachel had never been laughed at in her life and was completely confused by the situation.
“If you meant the cathedral,” she said, a little uncertainly, recollecting the tone in which Mr. Clare had just been spoken of, and thinking that perhaps Miss Keith might be a curatolatress, “I am afraid it is not of much benefit to people living at this distance, and there is not much to be said for the imitation here.”
“If you meant the cathedral,” she said, a bit unsure, remembering the way Mr. Clare had just been talked about, and wondering if Miss Keith might be a curatolatress, “I’m afraid it doesn’t do much for people living this far away, and there’s really not much to recommend the imitation here.”
“You will see what my sister says to it. She only wants training to be the main strength of the Bishopsworthy choir, and perhaps she may find it here.”
“You'll see what my sister has to say about it. She just wants training to be the main focus of the Bishopsworthy choir, and maybe she'll find that here.”
Rachel was evidently undecided whether chants or marches were Miss Keith’s passion, and, perhaps, which propensity would render the young lady the most distasteful to herself. Ermine thought it merciful to divert the attack by mentioning Mr. Clare’s love of music, and hoping his curate could gratify it. “No,” Mr. Keith said, “it was very unlucky that Mr. Lifford did not know one note from another; so that his vicar could not delude himself into hoping that his playing on his violin was anything but a nuisance to his companion, and in spite of all the curate’s persuasions, he only indulged himself therewith on rare occasions.” But as Ermine showed surprise at the retention of a companion devoid of this sixth sense, so valuable to the blind, he added—“No one would suit him so well. Mr. Lifford has been with him ever since his sight began to fail, and understands all his ways.”
Rachel wasn't sure if chants or marches were Miss Keith’s passion, and maybe which one would make her dislike herself the most. Ermine thought it was kind to change the subject by bringing up Mr. Clare’s love of music, hoping his curate could satisfy it. “No,” Mr. Keith said, “it’s unfortunate that Mr. Lifford doesn't know one note from another, so his vicar can’t fool himself into thinking that his violin playing is anything but annoying to him, and despite all the curate’s encouragement, he only indulges in it on rare occasions.” But as Ermine expressed surprise at keeping a companion who lacked this invaluable sense for the blind, he added—“No one would suit him better. Mr. Lifford has been with him ever since he started losing his sight, and he understands all his ways.”
“Yes, that makes a great difference.”
“Yes, that makes a big difference.”
“And,” pursued the young man, coming to something like life as he talked of his uncle, “though he is not quite all that a companion might be, my uncle says there would be no keeping the living without him, and I do not believe there would, unless my uncle would have me instead.”
“And,” the young man continued, becoming more animated as he spoke about his uncle, “even though he’s not exactly the ideal companion, my uncle says we couldn’t manage without him, and I honestly don’t think we could, unless my uncle wanted me to take his place.”
Ermine laughed and looked interested, not quite knowing what other answer to make. Rachel lifted up her eyebrows in amazement.
Ermine laughed and looked intrigued, not quite sure what other response to give. Rachel raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“Another advantage,” added Alick, who somehow seemed to accept Ermine as one of the family, “is, that he is no impediment to Bessie’s living there, for, poor man, he has a wife, but insane.”
“Another advantage,” added Alick, who somehow seemed to accept Ermine as part of the family, “is that he’s not a problem for Bessie living there, because, poor guy, he has a wife, but she’s crazy.”
“Then your sister will live there?” said Rachel. “What an enviable position, to have the control of means of doing good that always falls to the women of a clerical family.”
“Then your sister will live there?” Rachel said. “What a great position to be in, having the ability to do good that often comes to the women in a clerical family.”
“Tell her so,” said the brother, with his odd, suppressed smile.
“Tell her that,” said the brother, with his strange, restrained smile.
“What, she does not think so?”
“What, she doesn't believe that?”
“Now,” said Mr. Keith, leaning back, “on my answer depends whether Bessie enters this place with a character for chanting, croquet, or crochet. Which should you like worst, Miss Curtis?”
“Now,” said Mr. Keith, leaning back, “my answer will determine whether Bessie comes into this place with a reputation for singing, croquet, or crochet. Which one would you dislike the most, Miss Curtis?”
“I like evasions worst of all,” said Rachel, with a flash of something like playful spirit, though there was too much asperity in it.
“I dislike evasions the most,” said Rachel, with a hint of playful spirit, though there was too much sharpness in it.
“But you see, unfortunately, I don’t know,” said Alick Keith, slowly. “I have never been able to find out, nor she either. I don’t know what may be the effect of example,” he added. Ermine wondered whether he were in mischief or earnest, and suspected a little of both.
“But you see, unfortunately, I don’t know,” Alick Keith said slowly. “I have never been able to find out, and neither has she. I’m not sure what the impact of example might be,” he added. Ermine wondered if he was being playful or serious, and suspected a bit of both.
“I shall be very happy to show Miss Keith any of my ways,” said Rachel, with no doubts at all; “but she will find me terribly impeded here. When does she come?”
“I’d be really happy to show Miss Keith any of my ways,” said Rachel, without any doubts at all; “but she’ll find me really limited here. When is she coming?”
“Not for a month or six weeks, when the wedding will be over. It is high time she saw something of her respected guardian.”
“Not for a month or six weeks, when the wedding is over. It's about time she got to know her respected guardian.”
“The Colonel?”
"Colonel?"
“Yes,” then to Ermine, “Every one turns to him with reliance and confidence. I believe no one in the army received so many last charges as he has done, or executes them more fully.”
“Yes,” then to Ermine, “Everyone relies on him with trust and confidence. I don’t think anyone in the army has received as many final orders as he has, or carries them out more completely.”
“And,” said Ermine, feeling pleasure colour her cheek more deeply than was convenient, “you are relations.”
“And,” said Ermine, feeling her cheeks flush more than was comfortable, “you are family.”
“So far away that only a Scotsman would acknowledge the cousinship.”
“So far away that only a Scotsman would recognize the family connection.”
“But do not you call yourself Scotch?” said Ermine, who had for years thought it glorious to do so.
“But don't you call yourself Scottish?” said Ermine, who had thought it was awesome to do so for years.
“My great grandfather came from Gowan-brae,” said Alick, “but our branch of the family has lived and died in the —th Highlanders for so many generations that we don’t know what a home is out of it. Our birthplaces—yes, and our graves—are in all parts of the world.”
“My great grandfather came from Gowan-brae,” Alick said, “but our branch of the family has lived and died in the —th Highlanders for so many generations that we don’t know what home is outside of it. Our birthplaces—yes, and our graves—are in all parts of the world.”
“Were you ever in Scotland?”
“Have you ever been to Scotland?”
“Never; and I dread nothing so much as being quartered there. Just imagine the trouble it would be to go over the pedigree of every Keith I met, and to dine with them all upon haggis and sheeps’ head!”
“Never; and I dread nothing more than being stationed there. Just picture the hassle of tracing the lineage of every Keith I encountered, and having to dine with them all on haggis and sheep's head!”
“There’s no place I want to sea as much as Scotland,” said Rachel.
“There’s no place I want to see as much as Scotland,” said Rachel.
“Oh, yes! young ladies always do.”
“Oh, yes! Young ladies always do.”
“It is not for a young lady reason,” said Rachel, bluntly. “I want to understand the principle of diffused education, as there practised. The only other places I should really care to see are the Grand Reformatory for the Destitute in Holland, and the Hospital for Cretins in Switzerland.”
“It’s not for a young lady’s reason,” Rachel said directly. “I want to understand the concept of diffused education as it’s practiced here. The only other places I would truly like to see are the Grand Reformatory for the Destitute in Holland and the Hospital for Cretins in Switzerland.”
“Scotch pedants, Dutch thieves, Swiss goitres—I will bear your tastes in mind,” said Mr. Keith, rising to take leave.
“Scotch know-it-alls, Dutch thieves, Swiss goiters—I’ll keep your preferences in mind,” said Mr. Keith, getting up to say goodbye.
“Really,” said Rachel, when he was gone, “if he had not that silly military tone of joking, there might be something tolerable about him if he got into good hands. He seems to have some good notions about his sister. She must be just out of the school-room, at the very turn of life, and I will try to get her into my training and show her a little of the real beauty and usefulness of the career she has before her. How late he has stayed! I am afraid there is no time for the manuscripts.”
“Honestly,” said Rachel, after he left, “if he didn't have that ridiculous military way of joking, there could be something bearable about him if he was in the right hands. He seems to have some good ideas about his sister. She must be fresh out of school, at the brink of adulthood, and I’ll do my best to mentor her and show her a bit of the real beauty and value of the career ahead of her. He’s stayed so late! I'm worried there's no time left for the manuscripts.”
And though Ermine was too honest to say she was sorry, Rachel did not miss the regret.
And even though Ermine was too honest to say she was sorry, Rachel didn't miss the regret.
Colonel Keith came the next day, and under his arm was a parcel, which was laid in little Rose’s arms, and, when unrolled, proved to contain a magnificent wax doll, no doubt long the object of unrequited attachment to many a little Avoncestrian, a creature of beauteous and unmeaning face, limpid eyes, hair that could be brushed, and all her members waxen, as far as could be seen below the provisional habiliment of pink paper that enveloped her. Little Rose’s complexion became crimson, and she did not utter a word, while her aunt, colouring almost as much, laughed and asked where were her thanks.
Colonel Keith arrived the next day, carrying a package under his arm, which he placed in little Rose’s arms. When she unwrapped it, it revealed a stunning wax doll, surely the long-desired treasure of many little Avoncestrians. The doll had a beautiful yet expressionless face, clear eyes, hair that could be combed, and all her limbs were made of wax, at least what could be seen beneath the temporary pink tissue paper that covered her. Little Rose's face turned bright red, and she didn't say a word, while her aunt, blushing nearly as much, laughed and asked where her gratitude was.
“Oh!” with a long gasp, “it can’t be for me!”
“Oh!” she gasped, “it can’t be for me!”
“Do you think it is for your aunt?” said the Colonel.
“Do you think it's for your aunt?” said the Colonel.
“Oh, thank you! But such a beautiful creature for me!” said Rose, with another gasp, quite oppressed. “Aunt Ermine, how shall I ever make her clothes nice enough?”
“Oh, thank you! But such a beautiful creature for me!” Rose said, gasping again, feeling overwhelmed. “Aunt Ermine, how will I ever make her clothes nice enough?”
“We will see about that, my dear. Now take her into the verandah and introduce her to Violetta.”
“We'll see about that, my dear. Now take her to the veranda and introduce her to Violetta.”
“Yes;” then pausing and looking into the fixed eyes, “Aunt Ermine, I never saw such a beauty, except that one the little girl left behind on the bench on the esplanade, when Aunt Ailie said I should he coveting if I went on wishing Violetta was like her.”
“Yes,” he paused, looking into the fixed eyes. “Aunt Ermine, I’ve never seen such a beauty, except for the one that little girl left behind on the bench on the promenade, when Aunt Ailie said I’d be envious if I kept wishing Violetta was like her.”
“I remember,” said Ermine, “I have heard enough of that ‘ne plus ultra’ of doll! Indeed, Colin, you have given a great deal of pleasure, where the materials of pleasure are few. No one can guess the delight a doll is to a solitary imaginative child.”
“I remember,” said Ermine, “I’ve heard enough about that ‘ne plus ultra’ of dolls! Honestly, Colin, you’ve brought a lot of joy, even when there’s not much to work with. No one can understand the happiness a doll brings to a lonely, imaginative child.”
“Thank you,” he said, smiling.
"Thanks," he said, smiling.
“I believe I shall enjoy it as much as Rose,” added Ermine, “both for play and as a study. Please turn my chair a little this way, I want to see the introduction to Violetta. Here comes the beauty, in Rose’s own cloak.”
“I think I’ll enjoy it just as much as Rose,” Ermine said, “both for fun and as a study. Please turn my chair a bit this way; I want to see the introduction to Violetta. Here comes the beauty, in Rose’s own cloak.”
Colonel Keith leant over the back of her chair and silently watched, but the scene was not quite what they expected. Violetta was sitting in her “slantingdicular” position on her chair placed on a bench, and her little mistress knelt down before her, took her in her arms, and began to hug her.
Colonel Keith leaned over the back of her chair and quietly observed, but the scene wasn't exactly what they had expected. Violetta was sitting in her "slantingdicular" position on her chair placed on a bench, and her little mistress knelt down in front of her, wrapped her arms around her, and started to hug her.
“Violetta, darling, you need not be afraid! There is a new beautiful creature come, and I shall call her Colinette, and we must be very kind to her, because Colonel Keith is so good, and knows your grandpapa; and to tell you a great secret, Violetta, that you must not tell Colinette or anybody, I think he is Aunt Ermine’s own true knight.”
“Violetta, sweetheart, you don’t have to be scared! A beautiful new friend is here, and I’m going to call her Colinette. We need to be really nice to her because Colonel Keith is wonderful and knows your grandpa. And here’s a big secret, Violetta, that you can’t tell Colinette or anyone else: I think he’s Aunt Ermine’s true knight.”
“Hush!” whispered the Colonel, over Ermine’s head, as he perceived her about to speak.
“Hush!” whispered the Colonel over Ermine’s head as he saw her about to speak.
“So you must be very good to her, Violetta, and you shall help me make her clothes; but you need not be afraid I ever could love any one half or one quarter as much as you, my own dear child, not if she were ten times as beautiful, and so come and show her to Augustus. She’ll never be like you, dear old darling.”
“So you have to treat her really well, Violetta, and you’ll help me make her clothes; but don’t worry, I could never love anyone half or even a quarter as much as I love you, my sweet child, not even if she were ten times more beautiful. So come on and show her to Augustus. She’ll never be like you, my dear old darling.”
“It is a study,” said the Colonel, as Rose moved off with a doll in either hand; “a moral that you should take home.”
“It’s a lesson,” said the Colonel, as Rose walked away with a doll in each hand; “something to think about.”
Ermine shook her head, but smiled, saying, “Tell me, does your young cousin know—”
Ermine shook her head but smiled, saying, “Tell me, does your young cousin know—”
“Alick Keith! Not from me, and Lady Temple is perfectly to be trusted; but I believe his father knew it was for no worse reason that I was made to exchange. But never mind, Ermine, he is a very good fellow, and what is the use of making a secret of what even Violetta knows?”
“Alick Keith! Not from me, and Lady Temple can be completely trusted; but I think his father knew there was no worse reason for my being made to switch. But anyway, Ermine, he’s a really good guy, and what’s the point in keeping a secret about something that even Violetta knows?”
There was no debating the point, for her desire of secrecy was prompted by the resolution to leave him unbound, whereas his wish for publicity was with the purpose of binding himself, and Ermine was determined that discussion was above all to be avoided, and that she would, after the first explanation, keep the conversation upon other subjects. So she only answered with another reproving look and smile, and said, “And now I am going to make you useful. The editor of the ‘Traveller’ is travelling, and has left his work to me. I have been keeping some letters for him to answer in his own hand, because mine betrays womanhood; but I have just heard that he is to stay about six weeks more, and people must be put out of their misery before that. Will you copy a few for me? Here is some paper with the office stamp.”
There was no arguing about it; her need for secrecy was driven by the decision to keep him free, while his desire for attention was to tie himself down. Ermine was determined to avoid any discussion and planned to keep the conversation on different topics after the initial explanation. So, she simply gave him another disapproving look and a smile, then said, “Now I'm going to put you to work. The editor of the ‘Traveller’ is away and has left his tasks to me. I've been holding onto some letters for him to answer in his own handwriting since mine gives away that I’m a woman; but I just found out he’ll be away for about six more weeks, and people need to get their answers before then. Will you copy a few for me? Here’s some paper with the office stamp.”
“What an important woman you are, Ermine.”
“What an important woman you are, Ermine.”
“If you had been in England all this time, you would see how easy the step is into literary work; but you must not betray this for the ‘Traveller’s’ sake or Ailie’s.”
“If you had been in England all this time, you would see how easy it is to get into literary work; but you must not reveal this for the sake of the ‘Traveller’ or Ailie.”
“Your writing is not very womanish,” said the colonel, as she gave him his task. “Or is this yours? It is not like that of those verses on Malvern hills that you copied out for me, the only thing you ever gave me.”
“Your writing isn’t very feminine,” said the colonel, as she assigned him his task. “Or is this yours? It’s nothing like those verses about the Malvern hills that you copied out for me, the only thing you ever gave me.”
“I hope it is more to the purpose than it was then, and it has had to learn to write in all sorts of attitudes.”
“I hope it serves its purpose better than it did before, and it has had to learn to write in all kinds of styles.”
“What’s this?” as he went on with the paper; “your manuscript entitled ‘Curatocult.’ Is that the word? I had taken it for the produce of Miss Curtis’s unassisted genius.”
“What’s this?” he said, continuing with the paper; “your manuscript titled ‘Curatocult.’ Is that the word? I thought it was the work of Miss Curtis’s own genius.”
“Have you heard her use it!” said Ermine, disconcerted, having by no means intended to betray Rachel.
“Have you heard her use it?” said Ermine, flustered, not at all wanting to expose Rachel.
“Oh yes! I heard her declaiming on Sunday about what she knows no more about than Conrade! A detestable, pragmatical, domineering girl! I am thankful that I advised Lady Temple only to take the house for a year. It was right she should see her relations, but she must not be tyrannized over.”
“Oh yes! I heard her going on about what she knows no more about than Conrade! A horrible, bossy, controlling girl! I’m glad I advised Lady Temple to only rent the house for a year. It was good for her to see her family, but she shouldn’t be pushed around.”
“I don’t believe she dislikes it.”
“I don’t think she dislikes it.”
“She dislikes no one! She used to profess a liking for a huge Irishwoman, whose husband had risen from the ranks; the most tremendous woman I ever saw, except Miss Curtis.”
“She doesn't dislike anyone! She used to say she liked a huge Irishwoman, whose husband had worked his way up; the most incredible woman I’ve ever seen, except for Miss Curtis.”
“You know they were brought up together like sisters.”
“You know they grew up together like sisters.”
“All the worse, for she has the habit of passive submission. If it were the mother it would be all right, and I should be thankful to see her in good keeping, but the mother and sister go for nothing, and down comes this girl to battle every suggestion with principles picked up from every catchpenny periodical, things she does not half understand, and enunciates as if no one had even heard of them before.”
“All the worse, because she has a tendency to just go along with things. If it were her mother, that would be fine, and I’d be glad to see her taken care of, but her mother and sister are irrelevant, and here comes this girl ready to argue against every suggestion with ideas she’s picked up from all sorts of cheap magazines—things she doesn’t fully grasp, which she talks about as if no one has ever heard them before.”
“I believe she seldom meets any one who has. I mean to whom they are matters of thought. I really do like her vigour and earnestness.”
“I think she rarely meets anyone who has. I mean, anyone for whom they are significant thoughts. I genuinely appreciate her energy and sincerity.”
“Don’t say so, Ermine! One reason why she is so intolerable to me is that she is a grotesque caricature of what you used to be.”
“Don't say that, Ermine! One reason she's so unbearable to me is that she’s a ridiculous exaggeration of who you used to be.”
“You have hit it! I see why I always liked her, besides that it is pleasant to have any sort of visit, and a good scrimmage is refreshing; she is just what I should have been without papa and Edward to keep me down, and without the civilizing atmosphere at the park.”
“You got it! I see why I always liked her. It's nice to have any kind of visit, and a good brawl is refreshing. She’s exactly who I would have been without Dad and Edward to hold me back, and without the civilized vibe at the park.”
“Never.”
"Not a chance."
“No, I was not her equal in energy and beneficence, and I was younger when you came. But I feel for her longing to be up and doing, and her puzzled chafing against constraint and conventionality, though it breaks out in very odd effervescences.”
“No, I wasn’t her equal in energy and kindness, and I was younger when you arrived. But I understand her desire to be active and her frustration with restrictions and social norms, even if it comes out in some strange outbursts.”
“Extremely generous of you when you must be bored to death with her interminable talk.”
“It's really generous of you, especially since you must be bored to death with her endless chatting.”
“You don’t appreciate the pleasure of variety! Besides, she really interests me, she is so full of vigorous crudities. I believe all that is unpleasing in her arises from her being considered as the clever woman of the family; having no man nearly connected enough to keep her in check, and living in society that does not fairly meet her. I want you to talk to her, and take her in hand.”
“You don’t understand the joy of variety! Plus, she really captures my interest; she’s so full of raw energy. I think everything that’s off-putting about her comes from her being seen as the smart one in the family; she doesn’t have a close enough man to keep her grounded, and she’s in a social circle that doesn’t suit her. I need you to talk to her and help guide her.”
“Me! Thank you, Ermine! Why, I could not even stand her talking about you, though she has the one grace of valuing you.”
“Me! Thanks, Ermine! Honestly, I couldn’t even handle her talking about you, even though she does have the one quality of appreciating you.”
“Then you ought, in common gratitude, for there is no little greatness of soul in patiently coming down to Mackarel Lane to be snubbed by one’s cousin’s governess’s sister.”
“Then you should, out of common courtesy, because it takes a lot of character to come all the way to Mackarel Lane just to be dismissed by your cousin’s governess’s sister.”
“If you will come up to Myrtlewood, you don’t know what you may do.”
“If you come up to Myrtlewood, you have no idea what you might discover.”
“No, you are to set no more people upon me, though Lady Temple’s eyes are very wistful.”
“No, don’t put any more people on me, even though Lady Temple looks really longing.”
“I did not think you would have held out against her.”
“I didn't think you would have stood up to her.”
“Not when I had against you? No, indeed, though I never did see anybody more winning than she is in that meek, submissive gentleness! Alison says she has cheered up and grown like another creature since your arrival.”
“Not when I had a problem with you? No, definitely not, even though I’ve never seen anyone more charming than she is in that gentle, submissive way! Alison says she has perked up and become a completely different person since you got here.”
“And Alexander Keith’s. Yes, poor thing, we have brought something of her own old world, where she was a sort of little queen in her way. It is too much to ask me to have patience with these relations, Ermine. If you could see the change from the petted creature she was with her mother and husband, almost always the first lady in the place, and latterly with a colonial court of her own, and now, ordered about, advised, domineered over, made nobody of, and taking it as meekly and sweetly as if she were grateful for it! I verily believe she is! But she certainly ought to come away.”
“And Alexander Keith’s. Yes, poor thing, we’ve brought a piece of her old world, where she was like a little queen in her own way. It’s too much to expect me to be patient with these relatives, Ermine. If you could see how she’s changed from the pampered person she was with her mother and husband, almost always the most important person around, and later with her own colonial court, to now being bossed around, given advice, controlled, reduced to nothing, and accepting it all so sweetly as if she’s grateful for it! I genuinely believe she is! But she really should leave.”
“I am not so sure of that. It seems to me rather a dangerous responsibility to take her away from her own relations, unless there were any with equal claims.”
“I’m not so sure about that. It seems to me like a pretty risky responsibility to take her away from her own family, unless there are others with equal claims.”
“They are her only relations, and her husband had none. Still to be under the constant yoke of an overpowering woman with unfixed opinions seems to be an unmitigated evil for her and her boys; and no one’s feelings need be hurt by her fixing herself near some public school for her sons’ education. However, she is settled for this year, and at the end we may decide.”
“They are her only relatives, and her husband had none. However, being under the constant control of a strong-willed woman with changing opinions seems to be a real burden for her and her boys. Plus, no one’s feelings would be hurt if she chose to live near a public school for her sons’ education. For now, she has settled in for this year, and we can decide at the end.”
With which words he again applied himself to Ermine’s correspondence, and presently completed the letter, offering to direct the envelope, which she refused, as having one already directed by the author. He rather mischievously begged to see it that he might judge of the character of the writing, but this she resisted.
With that, he went back to Ermine’s correspondence and soon finished the letter, offering to address the envelope, but she declined since she already had one addressed by the author. He playfully asked to see it so he could judge the style of the writing, but she refused.
However, in four days’ time there was a very comical twinkle in his eye, as he informed her that the new number of the “Traveller” was in no favour at the Homestead, “there was such a want of original thought in it.” Ermine felt her imprudence in having risked the betrayal, but all she did was to look at him with her full, steady eyes, and a little twist in each corner of her mouth, as she said, “Indeed! Then we had better enliven it with the recollections of a military secretary,” and he was both convinced of what he guessed, and also that she did not think it right to tell him; “But,” he said, “there is something in that girl, I perceive, Ermine; she does think for herself, and if she were not so dreadfully earnest that she can’t smile, she would be the best company of any of the party.”
However, in four days’ time, there was a humorous sparkle in his eye as he told her that the latest issue of the “Traveller” was less than popular at the Homestead; “there’s such a lack of original thought in it.” Ermine realized her mistake in risking the exposure, but all she did was look at him with her clear, steady gaze and a slight smirk at the corners of her mouth as she said, “Really? Then we should spice it up with memories from a military secretary.” He was both convinced of what he suspected and aware that she didn’t think it was right to confide in him; “But,” he remarked, “there’s something about that girl, I see, Ermine; she does think for herself, and if she weren’t so seriously earnest that she can’t smile, she would be the best company of anyone in the group.”
“I am so glad you think so! I shall be delighted if you will really talk to her, and help her to argue out some of her crudities. Indeed she is worth it. But I suppose you will hardly stay here long enough to do her any good.”
“I’m so glad you feel that way! I’d be really happy if you actually talk to her and help her work through some of her rough ideas. She’s definitely worth it. But I guess you probably won’t be here long enough to make a difference.”
“What, are you going to order me away?”
“What, are you going to send me away?”
“I thought your brother wanted you at home.”
“I thought your brother wanted you back home.”
“It is all very well to talk of an ancestral home, but when it consists of a tall, slim house, with blank walls and pepper-box turrets, set down on a bleak hill side, and every one gone that made it once a happy place, it is not attractive. Moreover, my only use there would be to be kept as a tame heir, the person whose interference would be most resented, and I don’t recognise that duty.”
“It’s easy to talk about an ancestral home, but when it’s just a tall, skinny house with blank walls and little turreted peaks, sitting on a dreary hillside, and everyone who made it a happy place is gone, it’s not appealing. Plus, my only purpose there would be to serve as a complacent heir, the one whose input would be least welcomed, and I don’t see that as my responsibility.”
“You are a gentleman at large, with no obvious duty,” said Ermine, meditatively.
“You're a gentleman who's free to do as you please, with no clear responsibilities,” said Ermine, thinking it over.
“What, none?” bending his head, and looking earnestly at her.
"What, none?" he said, tilting his head and looking at her intently.
“Oh, if you come here out of duty—” she said archly, and with her merry laugh. “There, is not that a nice occasion for picking a quarrel? And seriously,” she continued, “perhaps it might be good for you if we did. I am beginning to fear that I ought not to keep you lingering here without purpose or occupation.”
“Oh, if you're just here because you have to—” she said playfully, with her cheerful laugh. “Isn't that a perfect reason to start an argument? And seriously,” she went on, “maybe it would be good for us if we did. I'm starting to worry that I shouldn't keep you hanging around here without any real reason or activity.”
“Fulfil my purpose, and I will find occupation.”
“Fulfill my purpose, and I will find work.”
“Don’t say that.”
"Don't say that."
“This once, Ermine. For one year I shall wait in the hope of convincing you. If you do not change, your mind in that time, I shall look for another staff appointment, to last till Rose is ready for me.”
“This time, Ermine. I’ll wait for one year, hoping to convince you. If you don’t change your mind in that time, I’ll look for another staff position that will last until Rose is ready for me.”
The gravity of this conclusion made Ermine laugh. “That’s what you learnt of your chief,” she said.
The seriousness of this conclusion made Ermine laugh. “That’s what you learned from your boss,” she said.
“There would be less difference in age,” he said. “Though I own I should like my widow to be less helpless than poor little Lady Temple. So,” he added, with the same face of ridiculous earnest, “if you continue to reject me yourself, you will at least rear her with an especial view to her efficiency in that capacity.”
“There would be less difference in age,” he said. “Though I admit I’d like my widow to be less vulnerable than poor little Lady Temple. So,” he added, with the same seriously silly expression, “if you keep rejecting me, at least raise her with a focus on her ability to handle that role.”
And as Rose at that critical moment looked in at the window, eager to be encouraged to come and show Colinette’s successful toilette, he drew her to him with the smile that had won her whole heart, and listening to every little bit of honesty about “my work” and “Aunt Ermine’s work,” he told her that he knew she was a very managing domestic character, perfectly equal to the charge of both young ladies.
And at that crucial moment, when Rose peeked through the window, excited to be encouraged to come and show off Colinette’s successful outfit, he pulled her close with the smile that had captured her heart completely. Listening to every little detail about “my work” and “Aunt Ermine’s work,” he told her he recognized that she was a very capable person, fully capable of handling both young ladies.
“Aunt Ermine says I must learn to manage, because some day I shall have to take care of papa.”
“Aunt Ermine says I need to learn how to manage, because one day I will have to take care of Dad.”
“Yes,” with his eyes on Ermine all the while, “learn to be a useful woman; who knows if we shan’t all depend on you by-and-by?”
“Yes,” keeping his eyes on Ermine the whole time, “learn to be a helpful woman; who knows if we’ll all rely on you eventually?”
“Oh do let me be useful to you,” cried Rose; “I could hem all your handkerchiefs, and make you a kettle-holder.”
“Oh, please let me help you,” Rose exclaimed. “I can hem all your handkerchiefs and make you a pot holder.”
Ermine had never esteemed him more highly than when he refrained from all but a droll look, and uttered not one word of the sportive courtship that is so peculiarly unwholesome and undesirable with children. Perhaps she thought her colonel more a gentleman than she had done before, if that were possible; and she took an odd, quaint pleasure in the idea of this match, often when talking to Alison of her views of life and education, putting them in the form of what would become of Rose as Lady Keith; and Colin kept his promise of making no more references to the future. On moving into his lodgings, the hour for his visits was changed, and unless he went out to dinner, he usually came in the evening, thus attracting less notice, and moreover rendering it less easy to lapse into the tender subject, as Alison was then at home, and the conversation was necessarily more general.
Ermine had never thought more highly of him than when he held back everything but a playful glance and said nothing about the flirty courtship that is so particularly unhealthy and unwanted around kids. Maybe she felt her colonel was more of a gentleman than she had before, if that was even possible; and she found a strange, quirky joy in the idea of this match, often discussing with Alison her thoughts on life and education, framing them as what would happen to Rose as Lady Keith; and Colin kept his promise of not bringing up the future again. After moving into his new place, he changed the time of his visits, and unless he went out for dinner, he usually came by in the evening. This helped attract less attention and made it harder to slip into the sensitive topic since Alison was home then, and the conversation had to be more general.
The afternoons were spent in Lady Temple’s service. Instead of the orthodox dowager britchska and pair, ruled over by a tyrannical coachman, he had provided her with a herd of little animals for harness or saddle, and a young groom, for whom Coombe was answerable. Mrs. Curtis groaned and feared the establishment would look flighty; but for the first time Rachel became the colonel’s ally. “The worst despotism practised in England,” she said, “is that of coachmen, and it is well that Fanny should be spared! The coachman who lived here when mamma was married, answered her request to go a little faster, ‘I shall drive my horses as I plazes,’ and I really think the present one is rather worse in deed, though not in word.”
The afternoons were spent serving Lady Temple. Instead of the usual dowager carriage and pair, controlled by a strict coachman, he had arranged for her to have a group of little animals for riding or harnessing, along with a young groom, for whom Coombe was responsible. Mrs. Curtis complained and worried that the setup would seem too extravagant; but for the first time, Rachel sided with the colonel. “The worst tyranny practiced in England,” she said, “is that of coachmen, and it’s good that Fanny should be spared from it! The coachman who was here when Mom got married responded to her request to go a bit faster, ‘I shall drive my horses as I please,’ and I really think the current one is even worse in action, if not in words.”
Moreover, Rachel smoothed down a little of Mrs. Curtis’s uneasiness at Fanny’s change of costume at the end of her first year of widowhood, on the ground that Colonel Keith advised her to ride with her sons, and that this was incompatible with weeds. “And dear Sir Stephen did so dislike the sight of them,” she added, in her simple, innocent way, as if she were still dressing to please him.
Moreover, Rachel eased some of Mrs. Curtis’s worries about Fanny changing her outfit at the end of her first year of being a widow, explaining that Colonel Keith suggested she ride with her sons, and that this didn't go well with mourning attire. “And dear Sir Stephen really didn’t like seeing them,” she added, in her straightforward, naive manner, as if she were still trying to dress to make him happy.
“On the whole, mother,” said Rachel, “unless there is more heart-break than Fanny professes, there’s more coquetry in a pretty young thing wearing a cap that says, ‘come pity me,’ than in going about like other people.”
“Overall, mom,” said Rachel, “unless there’s more heartache than Fanny claims, there’s more flirtation in a pretty young woman wearing a cap that says, ‘come feel sorry for me,’ than in just blending in with everyone else.”
“I only wish she could help looking like a girl of seventeen,” sighed Mrs. Curtis. “If that colonel were but married, or the other young man! I’m sure she will fall into some scrape; she does not know how, out of sheer innocence.”
“I just wish she could manage to look like a girl who's seventeen,” sighed Mrs. Curtis. “If only that colonel were married, or the other young man! I’m sure she’s going to get into some trouble; she doesn’t know how, purely out of innocence.”
“Well, mother, you know I always mean to ride with her, and that will be a protection.”
“Well, Mom, you know I always plan to ride with her, and that will keep her safe.”
“But, my dear, I am not sure about your riding with these gay officers; you never used to do such things.”
“But, my dear, I’m not sure about you riding with these flashy officers; you never used to do stuff like that.”
“At my age, mother, and to take care of Fanny.”
“At my age, Mom, and to look after Fanny.”
And Mrs. Curtis, in her uncertainty whether to sanction the proceedings and qualify them, or to make a protest—dreadful to herself, and more dreadful to Fanny,—yielded the point when she found herself not backed up by her energetic daughter, and the cavalcade almost daily set forth from Myrtlewood, and was watched with eyes of the greatest vexation, if not by kind Mrs. Curtis, by poor Mr. Touchett, to whom Lady Temple’s change of dress had been a grievous shock. He thought her so lovely, so interesting, at first; and now, though it was sacrilege to believe it of so gentle and pensive a face, was not this a return to the world? What had she to do with these officers? How could her aunt permit it? No doubt it was all the work of his great foe, Miss Rachel.
And Mrs. Curtis, unsure whether to approve of the situation and go along with it, or to object—which was terrible for her and even worse for Fanny—gave in when she realized her strong-willed daughter wasn’t supporting her. So, the group began leaving Myrtlewood almost every day, and they were observed with a mix of annoyance, if not by kind Mrs. Curtis, then by poor Mr. Touchett, who found Lady Temple’s change of appearance deeply unsettling. He had thought she was so lovely and captivating at first; but now, even if it felt wrong to think this of such a gentle and thoughtful face, wasn’t this a step back into society? What did she have to do with these officers? How could her aunt allow it? It was surely all the fault of his arch-nemesis, Miss Rachel.
It was true that Rachel heartily enjoyed these rides. Hitherto she had been only allowed to go out under the escort of her tyrant the coachman, who kept her in very strict discipline. She had not anticipated anything much more lively with Fanny, her boys, and ponies; but Colonel Keith had impressed on Conrade and Francis that they were their mother’s prime protectors, and they regarded her bridle-rein as their post, keeping watch over her as if her safety depended on them, and ready to quarrel with each other if the roads were too narrow for all three to go abreast. And as soon as the colonel had ascertained that she and they were quite sufficient to themselves, and well guarded by Coombe in the rear, he ceased to regard himself as bound to their company, but he and Rachel extended their rides in search of objects of interest. She liked doing the honours of the county, and achieved expeditions which her coachman had hitherto never permitted to her, in search of ruins, camps, churches, and towers. The colonel had a turn for geology, though a wandering life even with an Indian baggage-train had saved him from incurring her contempt for collectors; but he knew by sight the character of the conformations of rocks, and when they had mounted one of the hills that surrounded Avonmouth, discerned by the outline whether granite, gneiss, limestone, or slate formed the grander height beyond, thus leading to schemes of more distant rides to verify the conjectures, which Rachel accepted with the less argument, because sententious dogmatism was not always possible on the back of a skittish black mare.
Rachel truly enjoyed these rides. Until now, she had only been allowed to go out with her oppressive coachman, who kept her on a tight leash. She didn’t expect anything more exciting with Fanny, her boys, and the ponies, but Colonel Keith had made it clear to Conrade and Francis that they were their mother’s main protectors. They took her bridle-rein as their responsibility, watching over her as if her safety depended on them, and were ready to argue with each other if the road was too narrow for all three to ride side by side. Once the colonel confirmed that she and the boys were perfectly fine by themselves, with Coombe following behind, he no longer felt the need to ride with them. Instead, he and Rachel explored further to find interesting sites. She loved showcasing the county and embarked on adventures her coachman had previously never allowed, looking for ruins, camps, churches, and towers. The colonel had an interest in geology, and although his wandering life with an Indian baggage train had kept him from being looked down upon by her for collecting, he recognized the types of rock formations by sight. When they climbed one of the hills around Avonmouth, he could tell from the outline whether the larger peak beyond was granite, gneiss, limestone, or slate, leading to plans for more adventurous rides to verify his theories, which Rachel accepted with little argument since it was hard to sound overly authoritative on a restless black mare.
There was no concealing from herself that she was more interested by this frivolous military society than by any she had ever previously met. The want of comprehension of her pursuits in her mother’s limited range of acquaintance had greatly conduced both to her over-weening manner and to her general dissatisfaction with the world, and for the first time she was neither succumbed to, giggled at, avoided, nor put down with a grave, prosy reproof. Certainly Alick Keith, as every one called him, nettled her extremely by his murmured irony, but the acuteness of it was diverting in such a mere lad, and showed that if he could only once be roused, he might be capable of better things. There was an excitement in his unexpected manner of seeing things that was engaging as well as provoking; and Rachel never felt content if he were at Myrtlewood without her seeing him, if only because she began to consider him as more dangerous than his elder namesake, and so assured of his position that he did not take any pains to assert it, or to cultivate Lady Temple’s good graces; he was simply at home and perfectly at ease with her.
She couldn't hide from herself that she found this lighthearted military crowd more interesting than anyone she'd ever met before. The lack of understanding of her interests among her mother's limited friends had really contributed to her arrogant attitude and general discontent with the world. For the first time, she was neither ridiculed, laughed at, avoided, nor dismissed with a serious, boring reprimand. Alick Keith, as everyone called him, definitely annoyed her with his whispered sarcasm, but the sharpness of it was amusing coming from such a young guy, and it hinted that if he could just be stirred up, he might be capable of better things. There was an excitement in his unexpected perspective that was both engaging and frustrating, and Rachel never felt satisfied if he was at Myrtlewood without seeing him, especially since she started to think of him as more dangerous than his older namesake. He seemed so secure in his position that he didn’t bother to assert it or to win Lady Temple’s favor; he was just at home and completely at ease with her.
Colonel Keith’s tone was different. He was argumentative where his young cousin was sarcastic. He was reading some of the books over which Rachel had strained her capacities without finding any one with whom to discuss them, since all her friends regarded them as poisonous; and even Ermine Williams, without being shaken in her steadfast trust, was so haunted and distressed in her lonely and unvaried life by the echo of these shocks to the faith of others, that absolutely as a medical precaution she abstained from dwelling on them. On the other hand Colin Keith liked to talk and argue out his impressions, and found in Rachel the only person with whom the subject could be safely broached, and thus she for the first time heard the subjects fairly handled. Hitherto she had never thought that justice was done to the argument except by a portion of the press, that drew conclusions which terrified while they allured her, whereas she appreciated the candour that weighed each argument, distinguishing principle from prejudice, and religious faith from conventional construction, and in this measurement of minds she felt the strength, and acuteness of powers superior to her own. He was not one of the men who prefer unintellectual women. Perhaps clever men, of a profession not necessarily requiring constant brain work, are not so much inclined to rest the mind with feminine empty chatter, as are those whose intellect is more on the strain. At any rate, though Colonel Keith was attentive and courteous to every one, and always treated Lady Temple as a prime minister might treat a queen, his tendency to conversation with Rachel was becoming marked, and she grew increasingly prone to consult him. The interest of this new intercourse quite took out the sting of disappointment, when again Curatocult came back, “declined with thanks.” Nay, before making a third attempt she hazarded a question on his opinion of female authorship, and much to her gratification, and somewhat to her surprise, heard that he thought it often highly useful and valuable.
Colonel Keith’s tone was different. He was argumentative where his younger cousin was sarcastic. He was reading some of the books that Rachel had struggled with, without finding anyone to discuss them with, since all her friends viewed them as toxic. Even Ermine Williams, while still trusting Rachel, felt haunted and troubled in her lonely, monotonous life by the aftermath of others’ doubts, and as a precaution, she avoided discussing those topics. On the other hand, Colin Keith enjoyed talking and sharing his thoughts, and saw Rachel as the only person he could safely discuss these subjects with. For the first time, Rachel heard these topics discussed fairly. Until now, she thought that only part of the media was doing justice to the debate, with conclusions that both frightened and fascinated her. In contrast, she appreciated the honesty that carefully evaluated each argument, separating principle from bias and religious faith from conventional views. In this analysis, she felt the strength and sharpness of intellects greater than her own. He was not one of those men who preferred less intelligent women. Perhaps smart men in professions that don’t always demand constant mental effort are less inclined to relax their minds with trivial feminine chatter than those whose intellects are more often challenged. Regardless, while Colonel Keith was attentive and polite to everyone and treated Lady Temple like a prime minister would treat a queen, his conversations with Rachel were becoming more significant, and she found herself increasingly wanting to consult him. The excitement of this new interaction eased the sting of disappointment when Curatocult came back with a “declined with thanks.” Before making a third attempt, she took a chance and asked for his opinion on female authorship, and to her delight and surprise, he expressed that he often considered it quite useful and valuable.
“That is great candour. Men generally grudge whatever they think their own privilege.”
"That’s really honest. Men usually resent anything they believe is their own privilege."
“Many things can often be felt and expressed by an able woman better than by a man, and there is no reason that the utterance of anything worthy to be said should be denied, provided it is worthy to be said.”
“Many things can often be felt and expressed by a capable woman better than by a man, and there’s no reason to deny the expression of anything that deserves to be said, as long as it truly deserves to be said.”
“Ah! there comes the hit. I wondered if you would get through without it.”
“Ah! there it is. I was curious if you would make it without that.”
“It was not meant as a hit. Men are as apt to publish what is not worth saying as women can be, and some women are so conscientious as only to put forth what is of weight and value.”
“It wasn’t intended as a criticism. Men are just as likely to share things that aren't worth saying as women are, and some women are so careful that they only present what is significant and valuable.”
“And you are above wanting to silence them by palaver about unfeminine publicity?”
“And you’re too good to silence them with talk about being unfeminine in the spotlight?”
“There is no need of publicity. Much of the best and most wide-spread writing emanates from the most quiet, unsuspected quarters.”
“There’s no need for publicity. A lot of the best and most widely recognized writing comes from the most quiet, unexpected places.”
“That is the benefit of an anonymous press.”
"That's the advantage of an anonymous press."
“Yes. The withholding of the name prevents well-mannered people from treating a woman as an authoress, if she does not proclaim herself one; and the difference is great between being known to write, and setting up for an authoress.”
“Yes. Keeping the name a secret stops polite people from treating a woman as a writer if she doesn’t declare herself one; and there’s a big difference between being recognized as a writer and presenting oneself as a professional writer.”
“Between fact and pretension. But write or not write, there is an instinctive avoidance of an intellectual woman.”
“Between reality and pretense. But whether to write or not, there’s a natural tendency to shy away from an intellectual woman.”
“Not always, for the simple manner that goes with real superiority is generally very attractive. The larger and deeper the mind, the more there would be of the genuine humbleness and gentleness that a shallow nature is incapable of. The very word humility presupposes depth.”
“Not always, because the straightforward nature that comes with true superiority is usually very appealing. The larger and deeper the mind, the more there is of the genuine humility and kindness that a shallow person cannot possess. The very word humility implies depth.”
“I see what you mean,” said Rachel. “Gentleness is not feebleness, nor lowness lowliness. There must be something held back.”
“I get what you’re saying,” Rachel said. “Being gentle isn’t the same as being weak, and being humble doesn’t mean being low. There has to be something reserved.”
“I see it daily,” said Colonel Keith; and for a moment he seemed about to add something, but checked himself, and took advantage of an interruption to change the conversation.
“I see it every day,” said Colonel Keith; and for a moment he appeared ready to add something, but he held back and took the opportunity of an interruption to steer the conversation in a different direction.
“Superior natures lowly and gentle!” said Rachel to herself. “Am I so to him, then, or is he deceiving himself? What is to be done? At my age! Such a contravention of my principles! A soldier, an honourable, a title in prospect, Fanny’s major! Intolerable! No, no! My property absorbed by a Scotch peerage, when I want it for so many things! Never. I am sorry for him though. It is hard that a man who can forgive a woman for intellect, should be thrown back on poor little Fanny; and it is gratifying—. But I am untouched yet, and I will take care of myself. At my age a woman who loves at all, loves with all the gathered force of her nature, and I certainly feel no such passion. No, certainly not; and I am resolved not to be swept along till I have made up my mind to yield to the force of the torrent. Let us see.”
“Superior natures lowly and gentle!” Rachel thought to herself. “Am I really like that to him, or is he just fooling himself? What should I do? At my age! This goes against everything I believe! A soldier, honorable, a title on the horizon, Fanny’s major! Unacceptable! No way! My assets consumed by a Scottish peerage when I need them for so many things! Never. I do feel sorry for him, though. It’s tough that a man who can overlook a woman’s intellect has to settle for poor little Fanny; and that’s a bit satisfying—. But I’m still untouched, and I’ll make sure to stay that way. At my age, a woman who loves at all loves with all the energy she has, and I definitely don’t feel that kind of passion. No, not at all; and I’m determined not to get swept away until I’ve decided whether to give in to the current. Let’s see.”
“Grace, my dear,” said Mrs. Curtis, in one of her most confidential moments, “is not dear Rachel looking very well? I never saw her dress so well put on.”
“Grace, my dear,” said Mrs. Curtis, in one of her most confidential moments, “isn't dear Rachel looking great? I’ve never seen her dress so nicely.”
“Yes, she is looking very handsome,” said Grace. “I am glad she has consented to have her hair in that now way, it is very becoming to her.”
“Yes, she looks really great,” said Grace. “I’m glad she agreed to style her hair like that now; it really suits her.”
“I—I don’t know that it is all the hair,” said the mother, faltering, as if half ashamed of herself; “but it seemed to me that we need not have been so uneasy about dear Fanny. I think, don’t you? that there may be another attraction. To be sure, it would be at a terrible distance from us; but so good and kind as he is, it would be such a thing for you and Fanny as well—” Grace gave a great start.
“I—I don’t know if it’s just the hair,” said the mother, hesitating, as if she felt a bit embarrassed; “but it seems to me that we didn’t need to worry so much about dear Fanny. I think, don’t you? that there might be another reason. Of course, it would be quite a distance away from us; but with how good and kind he is, it would be such a wonderful thing for you and Fanny as well—” Grace jumped in surprise.
“Yes, my dear,” Mrs. Curtis gently prosed on with her speculation, “she would be a dreadful loss to us; but you see, so clever and odd as she is, and with such peculiar ideas, I should be so thankful to see her in the hands of some good, sensible man that would guide her.”
“Yes, my dear,” Mrs. Curtis gently continued with her thoughts, “she would be a terrible loss to us; but you see, with how clever and unconventional she is, and with all her unusual ideas, I would be so grateful to see her with a good, sensible man who could guide her.”
“But do you really think it is so, mother?”
“But do you really think that’s the case, mom?”
“Mind, my dear, it is nothing to build on, but I cannot help being struck, and just thinking to myself. I know you’ll not say anything.”
“Just so you know, my dear, it’s nothing to rely on, but I can’t help being taken aback and just thinking to myself. I know you won’t say anything.”
Grace felt much distressed after this communication had opened her eyes to certain little touches of softening and consciousness that sat oddly enough on her sister. From the first avowal of Colonel Keith’s acquaintance with the Williamses, she had concluded him to be the nameless lover, and had been disappointed that Alison, so far from completing the confidence, had become more reserved than ever, leaving her to wonder whether he were indeed the same, or whether his constancy had survived the change of circumstances. There were no grounds on which to found a caution, yet Grace felt full of discomfort and distrust, a feeling shared by Alison, who had never forgiven herself for her half confidence, and felt that it would be wiser to tell the rest, but was withheld by knowing that her motive would actuate her sister to a contrary course. That Colin should detach himself from her, love again, and marry, was what Ermine schooled herself to think fitting; but Alison alternated between indignant jealousy for her sister, and the desire to warn Rachel that she might at best win only the reversion of his heart. Ermine was happy and content with his evening visits, and would not take umbrage at the daily rides, nor the reports of drawing-room warfare, and Alison often wavered between the desire of preparing her, and the doubt whether it were not cruel to inflict the present pain of want of confidence. If that were a happy summer to some at Avonmouth, it was a very trying one to those two anxious, yet apparently uninterested sisters, who were but lookers-on at the game that affected their other selves.
Grace felt really upset after this revelation opened her eyes to some subtle changes in her sister that seemed out of place. From the moment Colonel Keith was revealed to be acquainted with the Williamses, she assumed he was the unnamed lover, and she was disappointed that Alison, instead of being more open, had become even more reserved, leaving Grace wondering if he was indeed the same person, or if his loyalty had endured the change in circumstances. There were no solid reasons to be cautious, yet Grace was filled with unease and distrust, a sentiment Alison shared, as she had never forgiven herself for her partial confession. Alison believed it would be wiser to share everything, but she was held back by the knowledge that her sister would likely react in the opposite way. The fact that Colin could distance himself from her, fall in love again, and get married was something Ermine tried to convince herself was appropriate; however, Alison wavered between feeling angry jealousy for her sister and wanting to warn Rachel that she might only gain access to Colin's heart on a temporary basis. Ermine was happy with his evening visits and didn’t mind the daily rides or the gossip about social conflicts, while Alison often struggled between the desire to prepare her sister and the concern that it might be cruel to cause her current distress from a lack of trust. While that summer might have been a joyful one for some at Avonmouth, it was quite a challenging time for the two anxious, seemingly uninterested sisters, who were merely spectators of a game that impacted their own lives.
At length, however, came a new feature into the quiet summer life at Avonmouth. Colin looked in on Ermine one morning to announce, with shrugged shoulders, and a face almost making game of himself, that his brother was coming! Lord Keith had been called to London on business, and would extend his journey to come and see what his brother was doing.
At last, a new twist appeared in the peaceful summer life at Avonmouth. One morning, Colin dropped by to tell Ermine, with a casual shrug and a joking expression, that his brother was coming! Lord Keith had been called to London for some work and would take the opportunity to check in on what his brother was up to.
“This comes of being the youngest of the family,” observed Colin, meditatively. “One is never supposed capable of taking care of one’s self. With Keith I shall be the gay extravagant young officer to the end of my days.”
“This is what happens when you’re the youngest in the family,” Colin said thoughtfully. “People always assume you can’t take care of yourself. With Keith, I’ll be the happy, carefree young officer for the rest of my life.”
“You are not forgiving to your brother,” said Ermine.
“You're not being forgiving to your brother,” Ermine said.
“You have it in your power to make me so,” he said eagerly.
“You have the ability to make me so,” he said eagerly.
“Then you would have nothing to forgive,” she replied, smiling.
“Then you wouldn’t have anything to forgive,” she said with a smile.
Lady Temple’s first thought was a renewal of her ardent wish that Ermine should be at Myrtlewood; and that Mackarel Lane, and the governesship should be as much as possible kept out of sight. Even Alison was on her side; not that she was ashamed of either, but she wished that Ermine should see and judge with her own eyes of Colin’s conduct, and also eagerly hailed all that showed him still committed to her sister. She was proportionably vexed that he did not think it expedient to harass Ermine with further invitations.
Lady Temple's first thought was to renew her strong desire for Ermine to be at Myrtlewood, and to keep Mackarel Lane and the governess position as much out of sight as possible. Even Alison supported her; not that she was ashamed of either, but she wanted Ermine to see and judge Colin's behavior for herself and was excited by anything that showed he was still committed to her sister. She was quite annoyed that he didn’t think it wise to bother Ermine with more invitations.
“My brother knows the whole,” he said, “and I do not wish to attempt to conceal anything.”
“My brother knows everything,” he said, “and I don’t want to hide anything.”
“I do not mean to conceal,” faltered Fanny, “only I thought it might save a shock—appearances—he might think better of it, if—”
“I don’t mean to hide it,” Fanny hesitated, “I just thought it could prevent a shock—how things look—he might change his mind if—”
“You thought only what was kind,” answered the colonel, “and I thank you for it most warmly; but this matter does not depend on my brother’s consent, and even if it did, Ermine’s own true position is that which is most honourable to her.”
“You only thought kind things,” replied the colonel, “and I truly appreciate that; but this situation doesn’t rely on my brother’s approval, and even if it did, Ermine’s true position is the one that is most honorable for her.”
Having said this, he was forced to console Fanny in her shame at her own kind attempt at this gentle little feminine subterfuge. He gratified her, however, by not interfering with her hospitable instincts of doing honour to and entertaining his brother, for whose sake her first approach to a dinner party was given; a very small one, but treated by her and her household as a far more natural occurrence than was any sort of entertainment at the Homestead. She even looked surprised, in her quiet way, at Mrs. Curtis’s proffers of assistance in the et ceteras, and gratefully answered for Coombe’s doing the right thing, without troubling herself further. Mrs. Curtis was less easy in her mind, her housewifely soul questioned the efficiency of her niece’s establishment, and she was moreover persuaded that Lord Keith must be bent on inspecting his brother’s choice, while even Rachel felt as if the toils of fate were being drawn round her, and let Grace embellish her for the dinner party, in an odd sort of mood, sometimes rejecting her attempts at decoration, sometimes vouchsafing a glance at the glass, chiefly to judge whether her looks were really as repellently practical and intellectual as she had been in the habit of supposing. The wreath of white roses, which she wore for the first time, certainly had a pleasing and softening effect, and she was conscious that she had never looked so well; then was vexed at the solicitude with which her mother looked her over, and fairly blushed with annoyance at the good lady’s evident satisfaction.
Having said this, he had to comfort Fanny for feeling embarrassed about her own kind attempt at this gentle feminine deception. He pleased her, though, by not getting in the way of her natural instinct to honor and entertain his brother, for whom her initial invitation to a dinner party was extended; a very small one, but treated by her and her household as a much more normal event than any form of entertaining at the Homestead. She even seemed surprised, in her quiet way, by Mrs. Curtis’s offers of help with the details, and she gratefully spoke on Coombe’s behalf about doing the right thing without worrying herself further. Mrs. Curtis felt less at ease, her practical instincts questioned the efficiency of her niece’s setup, and she was also convinced that Lord Keith must be intent on assessing his brother’s choice. Even Rachel felt like the forces of fate were closing in on her, letting Grace beautify her for the dinner party in a strange mood, sometimes rejecting her attempts at decoration and sometimes stealing a glance at the mirror, mainly to see if her appearance was really as harshly practical and intellectual as she had always believed. The wreath of white roses she wore for the first time definitely had a pleasing and softening effect, and she was aware that she had never looked so good; then she was irritated by the concern with which her mother examined her and blushed with annoyance at the lady’s apparent satisfaction.
But, after all, Rachel, at her best, could not have competed with the grace of the quiet little figure that received them, the rich black silk giving dignity to the slender form, and a sort of compromise between veil and cap sheltering the delicate fair face; and with a son on each side, Fanny looked so touchingly proud and well supported, and the boys were so exultant and admiring at seeing her thus dressed, that it was a very pretty sight, and struck the first arrived of her guests, Mr. Touchett, quite dumb with admiration. Colonel Hammond, the two Keiths, and their young kinsman, completed the party. Lord Keith of Gowanbrae was best described by the said young kinsman’s words “a long-backed Scotchman.” He was so intensely Scottish that he made his brother look and sound the same, whereas ordinarily neither air nor accent would have shown the colonel’s nation, and there was no definable likeness between them, except, perhaps, the baldness of the forehead, but the remains of Lord Keith’s hair were silvered red, whereas Colin’s thick beard and scanty locks were dark brown, and with a far larger admixture of hoar-frost, though he was the younger by twenty years, and his brother’s appearance gave the impression of a far greater age than fifty-eight, there was the stoop of rheumatism, and a worn, thin look on the face, with its high cheek bones, narrow lips, and cold eyes, by no means winning. On the other hand, he was the most finished gentleman that Grace and Rachel had ever encountered; he had all the gallant polish of manner that the old Scottish nobility have inherited from the French of the old regime—a manner that, though Colin possessed all its essentials, had been in some degree rubbed off in the frankness of his military life, but which the old nobleman retained in its full perfection. Mrs. Curtis admired it extremely as a specimen of the “old school,” for which she had never ceased to mourn; and Rachel felt as if it took her breath away by the likeness to Louis XIV.; but, strange to say, Lady Temple acted as if she were quite in her element. It might be that the old man’s courtesy brought back to her something of the tender chivalry of her soldier husband, and that a sort of filial friendliness had become natural to her towards an elderly man, for she responded at once, and devoted herself to pleasing and entertaining him. Their civilities were something quite amusing to watch, and in the evening, with a complete perception of his tastes, she got up a rubber for him.
But still, Rachel, at her best, couldn't compete with the grace of the quiet little figure that welcomed them. The rich black silk gave dignity to her slender form, and a sort of mix between a veil and cap sheltered her delicate fair face. With a son on each side, Fanny looked so touchingly proud and well-supported, and the boys were so excited and admiring to see her this way that it was a lovely sight. It left Mr. Touchett, the first of her guests to arrive, completely speechless with admiration. The party was completed by Colonel Hammond, the two Keiths, and their young relative. Lord Keith of Gowanbrae was best described by the young relative as “a long-backed Scotsman.” He was so unmistakably Scottish that he made his brother appear and sound the same, while normally neither his demeanor nor accent would reveal the colonel’s nationality. There was no clear resemblance between them, except for maybe their bald foreheads. However, the little hair Lord Keith had left was silvered red, while Colin’s thick beard and thin hair were dark brown and had a lot more gray, even though he was twenty years younger. Lord Keith gave the impression of being much older than fifty-eight; he had the stoop of rheumatism and a worn, gaunt look on his face, with high cheekbones, narrow lips, and cold eyes that were not particularly charming. On the other hand, he was the most refined gentleman that Grace and Rachel had ever met; he had all the fashionable polish of manner that the old Scottish nobility inherited from the French of the old regime—a manner that, although Colin had all its main qualities, had somewhat worn off due to his straightforward military life. The old nobleman maintained it in all its glory. Mrs. Curtis greatly admired it as an example of the “old school,” for which she had always mourned. Rachel felt breathless at how much he resembled Louis XIV.; but, oddly enough, Lady Temple seemed completely at ease. It could be that the old man’s courtesy reminded her of the gentle chivalry of her soldier husband, and that a sort of familial friendliness toward an elderly man had come naturally to her, as she immediately responded and dedicated herself to pleasing and entertaining him. Their polite exchanges were quite amusing to watch, and in the evening, with a full understanding of his preferences, she set up a game of cards for him.
“Can you bear it? You will not like to play?” murmured the colonel to her, as he rung for the cards, recollecting the many evenings of whist with her mother and Sir Stephen.
“Can you handle it? You don’t want to play?” the colonel whispered to her, as he called for the cards, remembering the many evenings of whist with her mother and Sir Stephen.
“Oh! I don’t mind. I like anything like old times, and my aunt does not like playing—”
“Oh! I don’t mind. I like anything from the old days, and my aunt doesn’t enjoy playing—”
No, for Mrs. Curtis had grown up in a family where cards were disapproved, and she felt it a sad fall in Fanny to be playing with all the skill of her long training, and receiving grand compliments from Lord Keith on joint victories over the two colonels. It was a distasteful game to all but the players, for Rachel felt slightly hurt at the colonel’s defection, and Mr. Touchett, with somewhat of Mrs. Curtis’s feeling that it was a backsliding in Lady Temple, suddenly grew absent in a conversation that he was holding with young Mr. Keith upon—of all subjects in the world—lending library books, and finally repaired to the piano, where Grace was playing her mother’s favourite music, in hopes of distracting her mind from Fanny’s enormity; and there he stood, mechanically thanking Miss Curtis, but all the time turning a melancholy eye upon the game. Alick Keith, meanwhile, sat himself down near Rachel and her mother, close to an open window, for it was so warm that even Mrs. Curtis enjoyed the air; and perhaps because that watching the colonel had made Rachel’s discourses somewhat less ready than usual, he actually obtained an interval in which to speak! He was going the next day to Bishops Worthy, there to attend his cousin’s wedding, and at the end of a fortnight to bring his sister for her visit to Lady Temple. This sister was evidently his great care, and it needed but little leading to make him tell a good deal about her. She had, it seemed, been sent home from the Cape at about ten years old, when the regiment went to India, and her brother who had been at school, then was with her for a short time before going out to join the regiment.
No, because Mrs. Curtis grew up in a family that disapproved of cards, she found it disappointing that Fanny was playing with all the skill she had developed over the years and receiving high praise from Lord Keith for their shared victories against the two colonels. To everyone except the players, it was an unappealing game; Rachel felt a bit hurt by the colonel’s defection, and Mr. Touchett, sharing Mrs. Curtis’s sentiment that it was a step back for Lady Temple, suddenly became distracted during a conversation with young Mr. Keith about—of all topics—lending library books. Eventually, he moved to the piano where Grace was playing their mother’s favorite music, hoping to divert his thoughts from Fanny’s audacity; there he stood, mechanically thanking Miss Curtis while his gaze remained melancholic on the game. Meanwhile, Alick Keith settled down near Rachel and her mother by an open window, as it was warm enough for even Mrs. Curtis to appreciate the breeze. And perhaps since watching the colonel made Rachel’s conversation a bit less fluid than usual, he managed to find a moment to speak! He mentioned that he was heading to Bishops Worthy the next day to attend his cousin’s wedding, and after two weeks, he would bring his sister to visit Lady Temple. Clearly, this sister was a significant concern for him, and it took little encouragement for him to share a lot about her. She had been sent home from the Cape at around ten years old when the regiment was deployed to India, and he had only been able to spend a short time with her after being at school before joining the regiment.
“Why,” said Rachel, recovering her usual manner, “you have not been ten years in the army!”
“Why,” Rachel said, getting back to her usual self, “you haven’t been in the army for ten years!”
“I had my commission at sixteen,” he answered.
“I got my commission at sixteen,” he replied.
“You are not six-and-twenty!” she exclaimed.
"You're not 26!" she exclaimed.
“You are as right as usual,” was the reply, with his odd little smile; “at least till the 1st of August.”
“You're right as always,” was the reply, with his quirky little smile; “at least until August 1st.”
“My dear!” said her mother, more alive than Rachel to his amusement at her daughter’s knowing his age better than he did himself, but adding, politely, “you are hardly come to the time of life for liking to hear that your looks deceived us.”
“My dear!” her mother said, more aware than Rachel of his amusement at her daughter knowing his age better than he did, but she added politely, “you’re hardly at the age where it’s nice to hear that your looks fooled us.”
“Boys are tolerated,” he said, with a quick glance at Rachel; but at that moment something many-legged and tickling flitted into the light, and dashed over her face. Mrs. Curtis was by no means a strong-minded woman in the matter of moths and crane-flies, disliking almost equally their sudden personal attentions and their suicidal propensities, and Rachel dutifully started up at once to give chase to the father-long-legs, and put it out of window before it had succeeded in deranging her mother’s equanimity either by bouncing into her face, or suspending itself by two or three legs in the wax of the candle. Mr. Keith seconded her efforts, but the insect was both lively and cunning, eluding them with a dexterity wonderful in such an apparently over-limbed creature, until at last it kindly rested for a moment with its wooden peg of a body sloping, and most of its thread-like members prone upon a newspaper, where Rachel descended on it with her pocket-handkerchief, and Mr. Keith tried to inclose it with his hands at the same moment. To have crushed the fly would have been melancholy, to have come down on the young soldier’s fingers, awkward; but Rachel did what was even more shocking—her hands did descend on, what should have been fingers, but they gave way under her—she felt only the leather of the glove between her and the newspaper. She jumped and very nearly cried out, looking up with an astonishment and horror only half reassured by his extremely amused smile. “I beg your pardon; I’m so sorry—” she gasped confused.
“Boys are tolerated,” he said, glancing quickly at Rachel; but just then something creepy and ticklish flew into the light and zoomed across her face. Mrs. Curtis was definitely not a strong-minded woman when it came to moths and crane flies, equally disliking their sudden attention and their tendency to crash. Rachel promptly jumped up to chase the daddy longlegs and get it out the window before it could upset her mother by bouncing into her face or dangling from two or three legs in the candle wax. Mr. Keith helped her, but the insect was both quick and tricky, dodging them with surprising agility for such a seemingly awkward creature, until it finally paused for a moment with its wooden peg of a body slumped and most of its long legs resting on a newspaper, where Rachel came down on it with her pocket handkerchief, while Mr. Keith tried to trap it with his hands at the same time. Crushing the fly would have been unfortunate, and landing on the young soldier’s fingers would have been awkward, but Rachel did something even more shocking—her hands came down on what should have been fingers, but they gave way—she felt only the leather of the glove between her and the newspaper. She jumped and almost cried out, looking up in shock and horror, only half comforted by his amused smile. “I’m so sorry; I apologize—” she stammered, feeling confused.
“Inferior animals can dispense with a member more or less,” he replied, giving her the other corner of the paper, on which they bore their capture to the window, and shook it till it took wing, with various legs streaming behind it. “That venerable animal is apparently indifferent to having left a third of two legs behind him,” and as he spoke he removed the already half drawn-off left-hand glove, and let Rachel see for a moment that it had only covered the thumb, forefinger, two joints of the middle, and one of the third; the little finger was gone, and the whole hand much scarred. She was still so much dismayed that she gasped out the first question she had ever asked him—
“Inferior animals can manage without a limb to some extent,” he replied, giving her the other corner of the paper, with which they carried their catch to the window and shook it until it flew away, with its various legs trailing behind it. “That ancient creature seems to not care about leaving a third of its two legs behind,” and as he spoke, he pulled off his left glove, which was already half-removed, letting Rachel see that it only covered his thumb, forefinger, two joints of the middle finger, and one of the ring finger; the little finger was missing, and his hand was heavily scarred. She was so shocked that she blurted out the first question she had ever asked him—
“Where—?”
“Where—?”
“Not under the handkerchief,” he answered, picking it up as if he thought she wanted convincing. “At Delhi, I imagine.”
“Not under the handkerchief,” he replied, picking it up as if he thought she needed convincing. “In Delhi, I guess.”
At that moment, Grace, as an act of general beneficence certainly pleasing to her mother, began to sing. It was a stop to all conversation, for Mrs. Curtis particularly disliked talking during singing, and Rachel had to digest her discoveries at her leisure, as soon as she could collect herself after the unnatural and strangely lasting sensation of the solid giving way. So Grace was right, he was no boy, but really older than Fanny, the companion of her childhood, and who probably would have married her had not the general come in the way! Here was, no doubt, the real enemy, while they had all been thinking of Colonel Keith. A man only now expecting his company! It would sound more absurd. Yet Rachel was not wont to think how things would sound! And this fresh intense dislike provoked her. Was it the unsuitability of the young widow remarrying? “Surely, surely, it must not be that womanhood in its contemptible side is still so strong that I want to keep all for myself! Shame! And this may be the true life love, suppressed, now able to revive! I have no right to be disgusted, I will watch minutely, and judge if he will be a good guide and father to the boys, though it may save the colonel trouble. Pish! what have I to do with either? Why should I think about them? Yet I must care for Fanny, I must dislike to see her lower herself even in the eyes of the world. Would it really be lowering herself? I cannot tell, I must think it out. I wish that game was over, or that Grace would let one speak.”
At that moment, Grace, in an act of kindness that would surely please her mom, started to sing. It stopped all conversation because Mrs. Curtis especially disliked talking while someone was singing, and Rachel had to process her thoughts at her own pace, once she could regain her composure after the odd and lasting feeling of everything solid collapsing. So Grace was right; he was no kid, but actually older than Fanny, her childhood friend, who probably would have married her if the general hadn't come into the picture! No doubt, he was the real obstacle, while they had all been thinking about Colonel Keith. A guy who was only now waiting for his own company! That would sound even more ridiculous. But Rachel wasn't one to think about how things would sound! And this new intense dislike bothered her. Was it the inappropriateness of a young widow remarrying? “Surely, surely, it can't be that the petty side of womanhood is still so strong that I want to keep everything for myself! Shame! And this might be true love, suppressed, now ready to come back! I have no right to be disgusted; I'll keep a close eye and judge whether he’ll be a good guide and father to the boys, even if it saves the colonel some trouble. Ugh! Why should I care about either of them? Why should I think about them? Yet I do have to care about Fanny; I can't stand to see her lower herself, even in the eyes of the world. Would it really be lowering herself? I don’t know; I need to figure it out. I wish that nonsense would end, or that Grace would let someone talk.”
But songs and whist both lasted till the evening was ended by Lady Temple coming up to the curate with her winnings and her pretty smile, “Please, Mr. Touchett, let this go towards some treat for the school children. I should not like to give it in any serious way, you know, but just for some little pleasure for them.”
But the songs and whist continued until the evening ended when Lady Temple approached the curate with her winnings and her lovely smile, “Please, Mr. Touchett, let this go towards a treat for the school children. I wouldn’t want to give it in a serious way, you know, just for a little bit of enjoyment for them.”
If she had done it on purpose, she could not have better freshly riveted his chains. That pensive simplicity, with the smile of heartfelt satisfaction at giving pleasure to anybody, were more and more engaging as her spirits recovered their tone, and the most unsatisfactory consideration which Rachel carried away that evening was that Alexander Keith being really somewhat the senior, if the improvement in Fanny’s spirits were really owing to his presence, the objection on the score of age would not hold. But, thought Rachel, Colonel Keith being her own, what united power they should have over Fanny. Pooh! she had by no means resigned herself to have him, though for Fanny’s sake it might be well, and was there not a foolish prejudice in favour of married women, that impeded the usefulness of single ones? However, if the stiff, dry old man approved of her for her fortune’s sake, that would be quite reason enough for repugnance.
If she had done it intentionally, she couldn't have better locked in his chains. That thoughtful simplicity, combined with the genuine smile of joy from making someone happy, became more and more appealing as her mood lifted. The most frustrating thought Rachel took away that evening was that since Alexander Keith was actually a bit older, if Fanny's improved mood was really due to him being around, the age difference wouldn’t be a valid concern. But Rachel thought, since Colonel Keith was hers, what a united influence they could have over Fanny. Nonsense! She definitely hadn’t accepted to have him, even though it might be good for Fanny, and wasn't there a silly bias in favor of married women that made it harder for single women to be useful? Still, if the stiff, dull old man liked her for her wealth, that would be more than enough reason for dislike.
The stiff old man was the pink of courtesy, and paid his respects in due order to his brother’s friends the next day, Colin attending in his old aide-de-camp fashion. It was curious to see them together. The old peer was not at all ungracious to his brother; indeed, Colin had been agreeably surprised by an amount of warmth and brotherliness that he had never experienced from him before, as if old age had brought a disposition to cling to the remnant of the once inconveniently large family, and make much of the last survivor, formerly an undesirable youngest favourite, looked on with jealous eyes and thwarted and retaliated on for former petting, as soon as the reins of government fell from the hands of the aged father. Now, the elder brother was kind almost to patronizing, though evidently persuaded that Colin was a gay careless youth, with no harm in him, but needing to be looked after; and as to the Cape, India, and Australia being a larger portion of the world than Gowanbrae, Edinburgh, and London, his lordship would be incredulous to the day of his death.
The stiff old man was the epitome of politeness and paid his respects in the proper order to his brother’s friends the next day, with Colin attending in his usual aide-de-camp style. It was interesting to see them together. The old peer was not ungracious to his brother at all; in fact, Colin was pleasantly surprised by the warmth and brotherliness he had never experienced from him before, as if old age had made him want to hold on to the last remnants of what was once a rather large family, and to cherish the last survivor, who used to be an unwanted youngest favorite, looked at with jealousy and often frustrated for the pampering he received when their father was still in charge. Now, the elder brother was almost overly kind, though clearly convinced that Colin was a carefree young man with no ill intentions, but in need of supervision; and as for Cape Town, India, and Australia being much bigger parts of the world than Gowanbrae, Edinburgh, and London, his lordship would remain skeptical until the end of his days.
He paid his formal and gracious visits at Myrtlewood and the Homestead, and then supposed that his brother would wish him to call upon “these unfortunate ladies.” Colin certainly would have been vexed if he had openly slighted them; but Alison, whom the brothers overtook on their way into Mackarel Lane, did not think the colonel looked in the most felicitous frame of mind, and thought the most charitable construction might be that he shared her wishes that she could be a few minutes in advance; to secure that neither Rose’s sports nor Colinette’s toilette were very prominent.
He made his polite and friendly visits to Myrtlewood and the Homestead, and then assumed his brother would want him to stop by and see "these unfortunate ladies." Colin would definitely have been annoyed if he had openly ignored them; however, Alison, whom the brothers ran into on their way into Mackarel Lane, didn't think the colonel looked particularly happy, and she figured the most generous interpretation might be that he wished she could be a few minutes early to make sure neither Rose's activities nor Colinette's preparation were too noticeable.
All was right, however; Ermine’s taste for the fitness of things had trained Rose into keeping the little parlour never in stiff array, but also never in a state to be ashamed of, and she herself was sitting in the shade in the garden, whither, after the first introduction, Colin and Rose brought seats; and the call, on the whole, went off extremely well. Ermine naver let any one be condescending to her, and conducted the conversation with her usual graceful good breeding, while the colonel, with Rose on his knee, half talked to the child, half listened and watched.
Everything was fine, though; Ermine’s sense of how things should be had taught Rose to keep the little parlor in a way that was never too stiff but also not something to be embarrassed about. She was sitting in the shade in the garden, where Colin and Rose had brought chairs after the initial introduction. Overall, the visit went very well. Ermine never allowed anyone to look down on her and held the conversation with her usual graceful manners, while the colonel, with Rose on his lap, was partly talking to the child and partly listening and observing.
As soon as he had deposited his brother at the hotel, he came back again, and in answer to Ermine’s “Well,” he demanded, “What she thought of his brother, and if he were what she expected?”
As soon as he dropped his brother off at the hotel, he returned and in response to Ermine's "Well," he asked, "What do you think of my brother, and is he what you expected?"
“Very much, only older and feebler. And did he communicate his views of Mackarel Lane? I saw him regarding, me as a species of mermaid or syren, evidently thinking it a great shame that I have not a burnt face. If he had only known about Rose!”
“Very much, only older and weaker. And did he share his thoughts on Mackarel Lane? I saw him looking at me like I was some kind of mermaid or siren, clearly thinking it was a real shame that I don’t have a burned face. If only he had known about Rose!”
“The worst of it is that he wants me to go home with him, and I am afraid I must do so, for now that he and I are the last in the entail, there is an opportunity of making an arrangement about the property, for which he is very anxious.”
“The worst part is that he wants me to go home with him, and I’m afraid I have to, because now that he and I are the last in line for the inheritance, there's a chance to work out a deal about the property, which he really wants.”
“Well, you know, I have long thought it would be very good for you.”
“Well, you know, I’ve always thought it would be great for you.”
“And when I am there I shall have to visit every one in the family;” and he looked into her eyes to see if she would let them show concern, but she kept up their brave sparkle as she still said, “You know you ought.”
“And when I’m there, I’ll have to visit everyone in the family;” and he looked into her eyes to see if she would let them show concern, but she maintained her brave sparkle as she still said, “You know you should.”
“Then you deliver me up to Keith’s tender mercies till—”
“Then you hand me over to Keith's kind treatment until—”
“Till you have done your duty—and forgiven him.”
“Until you have done your duty—and forgiven him.”
“Remember, Ermine, I can’t spend a winter in Scotland. A cold always makes the ball remind me of its presence in my chest, and I was told that if I spent a winter at home, it must be on the Devonshire coast.”
“Remember, Ermine, I can’t spend a winter in Scotland. The cold always makes me feel the ball in my chest, and I was told that if I spent a winter at home, it had to be on the Devonshire coast.”
“That ball is sufficient justification for ourselves, I allow,” she said, that one little word our making up for all that had gone before.
"That ball is enough reason for us, I admit," she said, that one small word making up for everything that had happened before.
“And meantime you will write to me—about Rose’s education.”
“And in the meantime, you’ll write to me about Rose’s education.”
“To be sure, or what would be the use of growing old?”
“To be sure, what would be the point of getting older?”
Alison felt savage all through this interview. That perfect understanding and the playful fiction about waiting for Rose left him a great deal too free. Ermine might almost be supposed to want to get rid of him, and even when he took leave she only remained for a few minutes leaning her cheek on her hand, and scarcely indulged in a sigh before asking to be wheeled into the house again, nor would she make any remark, save “It has been too bright a summer to last for ever. It would be very wrong to wish him to stay dangling here. Let what will happen, he is himself.”
Alison felt intense throughout this interview. That perfect understanding and the playful story about waiting for Rose made him feel way too free. Ermine could almost be thought to want him gone, and even when he said goodbye, she only stayed for a few minutes with her cheek resting on her hand, barely letting out a sigh before asking to be taken back inside. She didn’t say anything except, “It has been too bright a summer to last forever. It would be very wrong to wish him to stay hanging around here. Whatever happens, he is who he is.”
It sounded far too like a deliberate resignation of him, and persuasion that if he went he would not return to be all he had been. However, the departure was not immediate, Lord Keith had taken a fancy to the place and scenery, and wished to see all the lions of the neighbourhood, so that there were various expeditions in the carriages or on horseback, in which he displayed his grand courtesy to Lady Temple, and Rachel enjoyed the colonel’s conversation, and would have enjoyed it still more if she had not been tracing a meaning in every attention that he paid her, and considering whether she was committing herself by receiving it. She was glad he was going away that she might have time to face the subject, and make up her mind, for she was convinced that the object of his journey was to make himself certain of his prospects. When he said that he should return for the winter, and that he had too much to leave at Avonmouth to stay long away from it, there must be a meaning in his words.
It sounded too much like a planned farewell from him, suggesting that if he left, he wouldn’t come back as the person he once was. However, the departure wasn't immediate; Lord Keith had taken a liking to the place and the scenery, and wanted to see all the attractions nearby. So there were various outings in carriages or on horseback, where he showed his great courtesy to Lady Temple, while Rachel enjoyed the colonel’s conversation. She would have enjoyed it even more if she hadn’t been analyzing the significance of every kind gesture he directed her way, worrying about whether she was getting herself involved by accepting it. She was glad he would be leaving soon, giving her time to confront the situation and figure things out, because she was sure that the purpose of his visit was to confirm his intentions. When he mentioned that he would return for the winter and that he couldn’t stay away from Avonmouth for too long, there had to be a deeper meaning in his words.
Ermine had one more visit from Lord Keith, and this time he came alone. He was in his most gracious and courteous mood, and sat talking of indifferent things for some time, of his aunt Lady Alison, and of Beauchamp in the old time, so that Ermine enjoyed the renewal of old associations and names belonging to a world unlike her present one. Then he came to Colin, his looks and his health, and his own desire to see him quit the army.
Ermine had one more visit from Lord Keith, and this time he came alone. He was in his kindest and most polite mood, and sat chatting about random things for a while, mentioning his aunt Lady Alison and Beauchamp from the old days, which made Ermine appreciate the revival of familiar connections and names from a world different from her current one. Then he turned to Colin, talking about his appearance and health, and shared his own wish to see him leave the army.
Ermine assented to his health being hardly fit for the army, and restrained the rising indignation as she recollected what a difference the best surgical advice might have made ten years ago.
Ermine agreed that his health was not really suitable for the army and controlled her growing anger as she remembered how much better things could have been with the right surgical advice ten years ago.
And then, Lord Keith said, a man could hardly be expected to settle down without marrying. He wished earnestly to see his brother married, but, unfortunately, charges on his estate would prevent him from doing anything for him; and, in fact, he did not see any possibility of his—of his marrying, except a person with some means.
And then, Lord Keith said that a man can hardly be expected to settle down without getting married. He genuinely wanted to see his brother get married, but unfortunately, the expenses on his estate wouldn’t allow him to help; in fact, he didn’t see any chance of him marrying anyone unless it was someone with some financial stability.
“I understand,” said Ermine, looking straight before her, and her colour mounting.
“I get it,” said Ermine, looking straight ahead, her cheeks flushing.
“I was sure that a person of your great good sense would do so,” said Lord Keith. “I assure you no one can be more sensible than myself of the extreme forbearance, discretion, and regard for my brother’s true welfare that has been shown here.”
“I knew someone as sensible as you would think that way,” said Lord Keith. “I can assure you that no one understands better than I do the incredible patience, discretion, and genuine concern for my brother’s real well-being that has been demonstrated here.”
Ermine bowed. He did not know that the vivid carmine that made her look so handsome was not caused by gratification at his praise, but by the struggle to brook it patiently.
Ermine bowed. He didn't realize that the bright red that made her look so attractive was not due to pleasure from his praise, but from the effort to accept it calmly.
“And now, knowing the influence over him that, most deservedly, you must always possess, I am induced to hope that, as his sincere friend, you will exert it in favour of the more prudent counsels.”
“And now, understanding the influence you justifiably have over him, I feel encouraged to hope that, as his true friend, you will use it to promote more sensible advice.”
“I have no influence over his judgment,” said Ermine, a little proudly.
“I don’t have any influence over his judgment,” said Ermine, a bit proudly.
“I mean,” said Lord Keith, forced to much closer quarters, “you will excuse me for speaking thus openly—that in the state of the case, with so much depending on his making a satisfactory choice, I feel convinced, with every regret, that you will feel it to be for his true welfare—as indeed I infer that you have already endeavoured to show him—to make a new beginning, and to look on the past as past.”
“I mean,” said Lord Keith, pressed into a more intimate conversation, “you’ll forgive me for being so straightforward—that considering the situation, with so much riding on his making the right choice, I truly believe, with all due regret, that you’ll see it’s for his best interest—as I gather you’ve already tried to explain to him—to start fresh and regard the past as just that.”
There was something in the insinuating tone of this speech, increased as it was by the modulation of his Scottish voice, that irritated his hearer unspeakably, all the more because it was the very thing she had been doing.
There was something in the suggestive tone of this speech, heightened by the way he spoke in his Scottish accent, that irritated her deeply, especially since it was exactly what she had been doing.
“Colonel Keith must judge for himself,” she said, with a cold manner, but a burning heart.
“Colonel Keith has to make his own judgment,” she said, with a chilly demeanor, but a passionate heart.
“I—I understand,” said Lord Keith, “that you had most honourably, most consistently, made him aware that—that what once might have been desirable has unhappily become impossible.”
“I—I get it,” said Lord Keith, “that you had very honorably, very consistently, made him aware that—that what once could have been desirable has unfortunately become impossible.”
“Well,” said Ermine.
“Well,” said Ermine.
“And thus,” he proceeded, “that the sincere friendship with which you still regard him would prevent any encouragement to continue an attachment, unhappily now hopeless and obstructive to his prospects.”
“And so,” he continued, “the genuine friendship you still have for him would stop you from encouraging him to keep a connection that, unfortunately, is now hopeless and standing in the way of his future.”
Ermine’s eyes flashed at the dictation. “Lord Keith,” she said, “I have never sought your brother’s visits nor striven to prolong them; but if he finds pleasure in them after a life of disappointment and trouble, I cannot refuse nor discourage them.”
Ermine’s eyes sparkled at the message. “Lord Keith,” she said, “I’ve never asked for your brother’s visits or tried to make them last longer; but if he enjoys them after a life full of disappointments and struggles, I can't deny or discourage them.”
“I am aware,” said Lord Keith, rising as if to go, “that I have trespassed long on your time, and made a suggestion only warranted by the generosity with which you have hitherto acted.”
“I know,” said Lord Keith, standing up as if to leave, “that I have taken up a lot of your time, and made a suggestion that’s only justified by the kindness you’ve shown me so far.”
“One may be generous of one’s own, not of other people’s,” said Ermine.
“One can be generous with what they have, but not with what belongs to others,” said Ermine.
He looked at her puzzled, then said, “Perhaps it will be best to speak categorically, Miss Williams. Let it be distinctly understood that my brother Colin, in paying his addresses to you, is necessarily without my sanction or future assistance.”
He looked at her confused, then said, “Maybe it’s best to be clear, Miss Williams. Let’s be perfectly clear that my brother Colin, in pursuing you, doesn’t have my approval or support for the future.”
“It might not be necessary, my lord. Good morning;” and her courteous bow was an absolute dismissal.
“It might not be needed, my lord. Good morning;” and her polite bow was a clear dismissal.
But when Alison came home she found her more depressed than she had allowed herself to be for years, and on asking what was the matter was answered—
But when Alison got home, she found her more depressed than she had let herself be for years, and when she asked what was wrong, she was told—
“Pride and perverseness, Ailie!” then, in reply to the eager exclamation, “I believe he was justified in all he said. But, Ailie, I have preached to Colin more than I had a right to do about forgiving his brother. I did not know how provoking he can be. I did not think it was still in me to fly out as I did!”
“Pride and stubbornness, Ailie!” then, in response to the excited remark, “I believe he was right about everything he said. But, Ailie, I’ve lectured Colin more than I should have about forgiving his brother. I had no idea how irritating he could be. I didn’t think I still had it in me to lose my temper like that!”
“He had no business to come here interfering and tormenting you,” said Alison, hotly.
“He shouldn’t have come here messing with you and causing you trouble,” said Alison, angrily.
“I dare say he thought he had! But one could not think of that when it came to threatening me with his giving no help to Colin if—There was no resisting telling him how little we cared!”
“I bet he thought he had! But you couldn’t focus on that when he threatened me by saying he wouldn’t help Colin if—There was no way I could hold back telling him how little we cared!”
“You have not offended him so that he will keep Colin away!”
“You haven’t upset him so much that he’ll stay away from Colin!”
“The more he tried, the more Colin would come! No, I am not sorry for having offended him. I don’t mind him; but Ailie, how little one knows! All the angry and bitter feelings that I thought burnt out for ever when I lay waiting for death, are stirred up as hotly as they were long ago. The old self is here as strong as ever! Ailie, don’t tell Colin about this; but to-morrow is a saint’s day, and would you see Mr. Touchett, and try to arrange for me to go to the early service? I think then I might better be helped to conquer this.”
“The more he tried, the more Colin would show up! No, I’m not sorry for offending him. I don’t care about him; but Ailie, how little we know! All the angry and bitter feelings I thought were gone for good when I was waiting for death are stirred up just as fiercely as they were back then. The old me is still here, just as strong! Ailie, don’t tell Colin about this; but tomorrow is a saint’s day, and could you see Mr. Touchett and try to arrange for me to go to the early service? I think that might help me conquer this.”
“But, Ermine, how can you? Eight o’clock, you know.”
“But, Ermine, how can you? It’s eight o’clock, you know.”
“Yes, dearest, it will give you a great deal of trouble, but you never mind that, you know; and I am so much stronger than I used to be, that you need not fear. Besides, I want help so much! And it is the day Colin goes away!”
“Yes, darling, it will be a lot of trouble for you, but you never worry about that, you know; and I’m so much stronger than I used to be, so you don’t need to be afraid. Plus, I really need your help! And it’s the day Colin leaves!”
Alison obeyed, as she always obeyed her sister; and Lord Keith, taking his constitutional turn before breakfast on the esplanade, was met by what he so little expected to encounter that he had not time to get out of the way—a Bath chair with Alison walking on one side, his brother on the other. He bowed coldly, but Ermine held out her hand, and he was obliged to come near.
Alison followed her sister's instructions, as she always did; and Lord Keith, out for his morning stroll on the esplanade before breakfast, came across something he didn’t expect at all, leaving him no time to step aside—a Bath chair with Alison on one side and his brother on the other. He nodded politely but coldly, yet Ermine reached out her hand, forcing him to approach.
“I am glad to have met you,” she said.
“I’m glad we met,” she said.
“I am glad to see you out so early,” he answered, confused.
“I’m glad to see you out here so early,” he replied, puzzled.
“This is an exception,” she said, smiling and really looking beautiful. “Good-bye, I have thought over what passed yesterday, and I believe we are more agreed than perhaps I gave you reason to think.”
“This is an exception,” she said, smiling and genuinely looking beautiful. “Goodbye, I’ve thought about what happened yesterday, and I think we’re more on the same page than I might have led you to believe.”
There was a queenly air of dignified exchange of pardon in her manner of giving her hand and bending her head as she again said “Good-bye,” and signed to her driver to move on.
There was a regal aura of graceful forgiveness in the way she extended her hand and nodded her head as she said “Good-bye” once more and signaled her driver to move on.
Lord Keith could only say “Good-bye;” then, looking after her, muttered, “After all, that is a remarkable woman.”
Lord Keith could only say "Goodbye;" then, watching her leave, he muttered, "After all, she's an impressive woman."
CHAPTER VIII. WOMAN’S MISSION DISCOVERED.
“But O unseen for three long years, Dear was the garb of mountaineers To the fair maid of Lorn.”—LORD OF THE ISLES.
“But O unseen for three long years, Dear was the dress of mountain people to the beautiful girl of Lorn.” —LORD OF THE ISLES.
“Only nerves,” said Alison Williams, whenever she was pushed hard as to why her sister continued unwell, and her own looks betrayed an anxiety that her words would not confess. Rachel, after a visit on the first day, was of the same opinion, and prescribed globules and enlivenment; but after a personal administration of the latter in the shape of a discussion of Lord Keith, she never called in the morning without hearing that Miss Williams was not up, nor in the afternoon without Alison’s meeting her, and being very sorry, but really she thought it better for her sister to be quite quiet.
“Just nerves,” said Alison Williams whenever she was pushed for an explanation about why her sister was still unwell, and her expression revealed an anxiety that her words didn’t show. Rachel, after visiting on the first day, agreed and suggested homeopathy and some cheer; however, after trying to lighten the mood by discussing Lord Keith, she never visited in the morning without hearing that Miss Williams was still in bed, nor in the afternoon without encountering Alison, who would apologize and insist that it was really better for her sister to rest completely.
In fact, Alison was not seriously uneasy about Ermine’s health, for these nervous attacks were not without precedent, as the revenge for all excitement of the sensitive mind upon the much-tried constitution. The reaction must pass off in time, and calm and patience would assist in restoring her; but the interview with Lord Keith had been a revelation to her that her affection was not the calm, chastened, mortified, almost dead thing of the past that she had tried to believe it; but a young, living, active feeling, as vivid, and as little able to brook interference as when the first harsh letter from Gowanbrae had fallen like a thunderbolt on the bright hopes of youth. She looked back at some verses that she had written, when first perceiving that life was to be her portion, where her own intended feelings were ascribed to a maiden who had taken the veil, believing her crusader slain, but who saw him return and lead a recluse life, with the light in her cell for his guiding star. She smiled sadly to find how far the imaginings of four and twenty transcended the powers of four and thirty; and how the heart that had deemed itself able to resign was chafed at the appearance of compulsion. She felt that the right was the same as ever; but it was an increased struggle to maintain the resolute abstinence from all that could bind Colin to her, at the moment when he was most likely to be detached, and it was a struggle rendered the more trying by the monotony of a life, scarcely varied except by the brainwork, which she was often obliged to relinquish.
In fact, Alison wasn't seriously worried about Ermine’s health, since these nervous episodes had happened before, as a reaction to the stress of a sensitive mind on a worn-out body. The reaction would fade with time, and calmness and patience would help her recover; however, meeting Lord Keith revealed to her that her feelings were not the calm, subdued, almost dead emotions of the past that she had convinced herself they were. Instead, it was a fresh, vivid, and active emotion, just as intense and just as unwilling to tolerate disruption as when she first received that harsh letter from Gowanbrae, which had shattered her youthful hopes. She looked back at some verses she had written when she first accepted that life was her path, where her feelings were expressed through a maiden who took vows, believing her crusader dead, only to see him return and live a reclusive life, with the light from her cell as his guiding star. She smiled sadly at how much the dreams of twenty-four surpassed the reality of thirty-four, and how her heart, which thought it could let go, was now restless at feeling coerced. She realized that what was right remained unchanged; but it was a greater struggle to maintain her determination to avoid anything that could tie Colin to her, especially when he was most likely to be distant, and that struggle became even harder with the monotony of her life, which barely changed except for the mental challenges she often had to set aside.
Nothing, however, here assisted her so much as Lady Temple’s new pony carriage which, by Fanny’s desire, had been built low enough to permit of her being easily lifted into it. Inert, and almost afraid of change, Ermine was hard to persuade, but Alison, guessing at the benefit, was against her, and Fanny’s wistful eyes and caressing voice were not to be gainsaid; so she suffered herself to be placed on the broad easy seat, and driven about the lanes, enjoying most intensely the new scenes, the peeps of sea, the distant moors, the cottages with their glowing orchards, the sloping harvest fields, the variety that was an absolute healing to the worn spirits, and moreover, that quiet conversation with Lady Temple, often about the boys, but more often about Colonel Keith.
Nothing helped her quite like Lady Temple’s new pony carriage, which, at Fanny’s request, had been built low enough for her to be easily lifted into it. Ermine, feeling stiff and somewhat resistant to change, was tough to convince, but Alison saw the potential benefits and was against her hesitation. Fanny’s hopeful eyes and soothing voice were hard to resist, so Ermine allowed herself to be placed on the wide, comfortable seat and taken around the lanes, immersing herself in the fresh scenes—the glimpses of the sea, the distant moors, the cottages with their vibrant orchards, the sloping harvest fields—each view providing a much-needed uplift to her weary spirit. Additionally, she enjoyed quiet moments of conversation with Lady Temple, often about the boys, but even more frequently about Colonel Keith.
Not only Ermine, but other inhabitants of Avonmouth found the world more flat in his absence. Rachel’s interest was lessened in her readings after she had lost the pleasure of discussion, and she asked herself many times whether the tedium were indeed from love, or if it were simply from the absence of an agreeable companion. “I will try myself,” she said to herself, “if I am heartily interested in my occupations by the end of the next week, then I shall believe myself my own woman!”
Not only Ermine, but other people in Avonmouth felt the world was duller without him. Rachel’s interest in her reading faded after she lost the joy of discussing it, and she questioned many times whether her boredom came from heartbreak or just from missing a good friend. “I’ll test myself,” she told herself, “if I’m truly engaged in my activities by the end of next week, then I’ll consider myself independent!”
But in going back to her occupations, she was more than ordinarily sensible of their unsatisfactoriness. One change had come over her in the last few months. She did not so much long for a wider field, as for power to do the few things within her reach more thoroughly. Her late discussions had, as it were, opened a second eye, that saw two sides of questions that she had hitherto thought had only one, and she was restless and undecided between them, longing for some impulse from within or without, and hoping, for her own dignity and consistency’s sake, that it was not only Colonel Keith’s presence which had rendered this summer the richest in her life.
But as she returned to her daily activities, she felt more than usual how unfulfilling they were. In the last few months, something had changed in her. She didn’t just yearn for a broader scope; she wanted the ability to handle the few tasks within her reach more effectively. Her recent discussions had, in a way, opened her eyes to see both sides of issues she previously believed had only one side, and she felt restless and uncertain between them. She wished for motivation from within or from her surroundings, hoping, for the sake of her own dignity and consistency, that it wasn’t just Colonel Keith’s presence that made this summer the most enriching of her life.
A test was coming for her, she thought, in the person of Miss Keith. Judging by the brother, Rachel expected a tall fair dreamy blonde, requiring to be taught a true appreciation of life and its duties, and whether the training of this young girl would again afford her food for eagerness and energy, would, as she said to herself, show whether her affections were still her own. Moreover, there was the great duty of deciding whether the brother were worthy of Fanny!
A test was approaching for her, she thought, in the form of Miss Keith. Judging by her brother, Rachel anticipated a tall, fair, dreamy blonde who needed to learn a true appreciation of life and its responsibilities. Whether guiding this young girl would reignite her passion and energy, as she told herself, would reveal if her feelings were still her own. Additionally, there was the important task of deciding if the brother was worthy of Fanny!
It chanced to be convenient that Rachel should go to Avoncester on the day of the arrival, and call at the station for the traveller. She recollected how, five months previously, she had there greeted Fanny, and had seen the bearded apparition since regarded, with so much jealousy, and now with such a strangely mixed feeling. This being a far more indifferent errand, she did not go on the platform, but sat in the carriage reading the report of the Social Science Congress, until the travellers began to emerge, and Captain Keith (for he had had his promotion) came up to her with a young lady who looked by no means like his sister. She was somewhat tall, and in that matter alone realized Rachel’s anticipations, for she was black-eyed, and her dark hair was crepe and turned back from a face of the plump contour, and slightly rosy complexion that suggested the patches of the last century; as indeed Nature herself seemed to have thought when planting near the corner of the mouth a little brown mole, that added somehow to the piquancy of the face, not exactly pretty, but decidedly attractive under the little round hat, and in the point device, though simple and plainly coloured travelling dress.
It just happened to be convenient for Rachel to go to Avoncester on the day of the arrival and pick up the traveler at the station. She remembered how, five months earlier, she had greeted Fanny there and had seen the bearded figure that she had felt so jealous of, and now had such a strangely mixed feeling about. Since this was a much more indifferent errand, she didn’t go onto the platform but sat in the carriage reading the report of the Social Science Congress until the travelers started to come out. Captain Keith (since he had been promoted) approached her with a young woman who didn’t look at all like his sister. She was somewhat tall, and in that regard alone matched Rachel’s expectations; she had dark eyes, and her black hair was curly and swept back from a plump face with a slightly rosy complexion that reminded one of the makeup styles from the last century. Nature seemed to have thought this through as well, placing a small brown mole near the corner of her mouth that somehow added to the charm of her face, which wasn’t exactly pretty but definitely attractive, especially under the simple round hat and the straightforward, solid-colored traveling dress.
“Will you allow me a seat?” asked Captain Keith, when he had disposed of his sister’s goods; and on Rachel’s assent, he placed himself on the back seat in his lazy manner.
“Can I take a seat?” asked Captain Keith, after he had taken care of his sister’s things; and when Rachel nodded, he settled into the back seat in his usual relaxed way.
“If you were good for anything, you would sit outside and smoke,” said his sister.
“If you were good for anything, you’d be sitting outside and smoking,” his sister said.
“If privacy is required for swearing an eternal friendship, I can go to sleep instead,” he returned, closing his eyes.
“If privacy is needed to swear an everlasting friendship, I can just go to sleep instead,” he replied, closing his eyes.
“Quite the reverse,” quoth Bessie Keith; “he has prepared me to hate you all, Miss Curtis.”
“Actually, it’s the opposite,” said Bessie Keith; “he has made me ready to hate you all, Miss Curtis.”
“On the mutual aversion principle,” murmured the brother.
“About the mutual aversion principle,” the brother murmured.
“Don’t you flatter yourself! Have you found out, Miss Curtis, that it is the property of this species always to go by contraries?”
“Don’t get too full of yourself! Have you realized, Miss Curtis, that it’s typical for this kind of person to act in opposites?”
“To Miss Curtis I always appear in the meekest state of assent,” said Alick.
“To Miss Curtis, I always come across as the most agreeable,” said Alick.
“Then I would not be Miss Curtis. How horribly you must differ!”
“Then I wouldn’t be Miss Curtis. How different you must be!”
Rachel was absolutely silenced by this cross fire; something so unlike the small talk of her experience, that her mind could hardly propel itself into velocity enough to follow the rapid encounter of wits. However, having stirred up her lightest troops into marching order, she said, in a puzzled, doubtful way, “How has he prepared you to hate us?—By praising us?”
Rachel was completely thrown off by this heated exchange; it was so different from the casual conversations she was used to that her mind struggled to keep up with the quick back-and-forth. However, mustering her confidence, she asked, with a confused and uncertain tone, “How has he gotten you to hate us?—By praising us?”
“Oh, no; that would have been too much on the surface. He knew the effect of that,” looking in his sleepy eyes for a twinkle of response. “No; his very reserve said, I am going to take her to ground too transcendent for her to walk on, but if I say one word, I shall never get her there at all. It was a deep refinement, you see, and he really meant it, but I was deeper,” and she shook her head at him.
“Oh, no; that would have been too obvious. He understood the impact of that,” she said, searching his sleepy eyes for a hint of reaction. “No; his very hesitation indicated, I plan to take her to a level too extraordinary for her to handle, but if I say even one word, I won’t be able to get her there at all. It was a profound subtlety, you see, and he genuinely meant it, but I was more complex,” and she shook her head at him.
“You are always trying which can go deepest?” said Rachel.
“You're always wondering what can go the deepest?” Rachel said.
“It is a sweet fraternal sport,” returned Alick.
"It is a fun brotherly competition," replied Alick.
“Have you no brother?” asked Bessie.
“Don't you have a brother?” Bessie asked.
“No.”
“No.”
“Then you don’t know what detestable creatures they are,” but she looked so lovingly and saucily at her big brother, that Rachel, spite of herself, was absolutely fascinated by this novel form of endearment. An answer was spared her by Miss Keith’s rapture at the sight of some soldiers in the uniform of her father’s old regiment.
“Then you don’t know what awful creatures they are,” but she looked so affectionately and playfully at her big brother that Rachel, despite herself, was completely captivated by this new way of showing affection. Miss Keith’s excitement at seeing some soldiers in her father’s old regiment uniform saved Rachel from having to respond.
“Have a care, Bessie; Miss Curtis will despise you,” said her brother.
“Be careful, Bessie; Miss Curtis will look down on you,” said her brother.
“Why should you think so?” exclaimed Rachel, not desirous of putting on a forbidding aspect to this bright creature.
“Why would you think that?” Rachel exclaimed, not wanting to show a stern face to this cheerful person.
“Have I not been withered by your scorn!”
“Have I not been withered by your disdain?”
“I—I—” Rachel was going to say something of her change of opinion with regard to military society, but a sudden consciousness set her cheeks in a flame and checked her tongue; while Bessie Keith, with ease and readiness, filled up the blank.
“I—I—” Rachel was about to express her change of heart about military society, but a sudden awareness made her cheeks flush and stopped her from speaking; meanwhile, Bessie Keith effortlessly stepped in to fill the silence.
“What, Alick, you have brought the service into disrepute! I am ashamed of you!”
“What, Alick, you've brought shame to the service! I'm embarrassed by you!”
“Oh, no!” said Rachel, in spite of her intolerable blushes, feeling the necessity of delivering her confession, like a cannon-ball among skirmishers; “only we had been used to regard officers as necessarily empty and frivolous, and our recent experience has—has been otherwise.” Her period altogether failed her.
“Oh, no!” Rachel said, despite her unbearable blushing, feeling the need to confess, like a cannonball in a skirmish; “it’s just that we used to see officers as always being shallow and silly, but our recent experience has—has shown us something different.” She completely lost her train of thought.
“There, Alick, is that the effect of your weight of wisdom? I shall be more impressed with it than ever. It has redeemed the character of your profession. Captain Keith and the army.”
“Look, Alick, is that the impact of your deep wisdom? I'm going to be more impressed than ever. It has restored the reputation of your profession. Captain Keith and the army.”
“I am afraid I cannot flatter myself,” said Alick; and a sort of reflection of Rachel’s burning colour seemed to have lighted on his cheek, “its reputation has been in better hands.”
“I’m afraid I can’t flatter myself,” Alick said, a hint of Rachel’s flushed color seeming to appear on his cheek, “its reputation has been in better hands.”
“O Colonel Colin! Depend upon it, he is not half as sage as you, Alick. Why, he is a dozen years older!—What, don’t you know, Miss Curtis, that the older people grow the less sage they get?”
“O Colonel Colin! You can count on it, he’s not even half as wise as you, Alick. I mean, he’s a dozen years older!—What, don’t you realize, Miss Curtis, that the older people get, the less wise they become?”
“I hope not,” said Rachel.
“I hope not,” Rachel said.
“Do you! A contrary persuasion sustains me when I see people obnoxiously sage to their fellow-creatures.”
“Be yourself! A different belief keeps me going when I see people being annoyingly wise towards others.”
“Obnoxious sageness in youth is the token that there is stuff behind,” said Alick, with eagerness that set his sister laughing at him for fitting on the cap; but Rachel had a sort of odd dreamy perception that Bessie Keith had unconsciously described her (Rachel’s) own aspect, and that Alick was defending her, and she was silent and confused, and rather surprised at the assumption of the character by one who she thought could never even exert himself to be obnoxious. He evidently did not wish to dwell on the subject, but began to inquire after Avonmouth matters, and Rachel in return asked for Mr. Clare.
“Being annoyingly wise when you're young shows there's substance beneath it,” said Alick, eagerly, which made his sister laugh at him for trying to play the role. But Rachel had a strange, dreamy feeling that Bessie Keith had unintentionally described her own appearance, and that Alick was sticking up for her. She felt silent and confused and a bit surprised that someone she thought could never even try to be annoying was taking on that role. He clearly didn’t want to continue talking about it, so he shifted the conversation to what was happening in Avonmouth, and Rachel, in turn, asked about Mr. Clare.
“Very well,” was the answer; “unfailing in spirits, every one agreed that he was the youngest man at the wedding.”
“Sure,” was the reply; “always in good spirits, everyone agreed that he was the youngest guy at the wedding.”
“Having outgrown his obnoxious sageness,” said Bessie.
“Having outgrown his annoying wisdom,” said Bessie.
“There is nothing he is so adroit at as guessing the fate of a croquet-ball by its sound.”
“There’s nothing he’s better at than figuring out the fate of a croquet ball by its sound.”
“Now Bessie,” exclaimed Alick.
“Now Bessie,” Alick exclaimed.
“I have not transgressed, have I?” asked Bessie; and in the exclamations that followed, she said, “You see what want of confidence is. This brother of mine no sooner saw you in the carriage than he laid his commands on me not to ask after your croquet-ground all the way home, and the poor word cannot come out of my mouth without—”
“I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?” asked Bessie; and in the excitement that followed, she said, “You see what a lack of trust can do. This brother of mine saw you in the carriage and immediately ordered me not to ask about your croquet ground all the way home, and the poor word just can’t seem to come out of my mouth without—”
“I only told you not to bore Miss Curtis with the eternal subject, as she would think you had no more brains than one of your mallets,” he said, somewhat energetically.
“I just told you not to bore Miss Curtis with the same old topic, because she would think you're as dull as one of your mallets,” he said, a bit more emphatically.
“And if we had begun to talk croquet, we should soon have driven him outside.”
“And if we had started talking about croquet, we would have quickly sent him away.”
“But suppose I could not talk it,” said Rachel, “and that we have no ground for it.”
“But what if I couldn't talk about it,” Rachel said, “and we have no basis for it?”
“Why, then,”—and she affected to turn up her eyes,—“I can only aver that the coincidence of sentiments is no doubt the work of destiny.”
“Why, then,”—and she pretended to roll her eyes,—“I can only say that the matching of feelings is definitely the work of fate.”
“Bessie!” exclaimed her brother.
“Bessie!” her brother shouted.
“Poor old fellow! you had excuse enough, lying on the sofa to the tune of tap and click; but for a young lady in the advanced ranks of civilization to abstain is a mere marvel.”
“Poor old guy! You had plenty of reasons, lounging on the sofa to the sound of tap and click; but for a young lady in the modern world to refrain is truly astonishing.”
“Surely it is a great waste of time,” said Rachel.
“Surely, that's a huge waste of time,” said Rachel.
“Ah! when I have converted you, you will wonder what people did with themselves before the invention.”
“Ah! once I’ve changed your mind, you’ll be amazed at what people did with their lives before this invention.”
“Woman’s mission discovered,” quoth her brother.
“Woman’s mission discovered,” said her brother.
“Also man’s, unless he neglects it,” returned Miss Elizabeth; “I wonder, now, if you would play if Miss Curtis did.”
“Yeah, it's up to the guy, unless he ignores it,” replied Miss Elizabeth; “I wonder if you would play if Miss Curtis did.”
“Wisdom never pledges itself how it will act in hypothetical circumstances,” was the reply.
“Wisdom never promises how it will behave in hypothetical situations,” was the reply.
“Hypothetical,” syllabically repeated Bessie Keith; “did you teach him that word, Miss Curtis? Well, if I don’t bring about the hypothetical circumstances, you may call me hyperbolical.”
“Hypothetical,” Bessie Keith echoed; “did you teach him that word, Miss Curtis? Well, if I don’t create the hypothetical situations, you can call me over-the-top.”
So they talked, Rachel in a state of bewilderment, whether she were teased or enchanted, and Alexander Keith’s quiet nonchalance not concealing that he was in some anxiety at his sister’s reckless talk, but, perhaps, he hardly estimated the effect of the gay, quaint manner that took all hearts by storm, and gave a frank careless grace to her nonsense. She grew graver and softer as she came nearer Avonmouth, and spoke tenderly of the kindness she had received at the time of her mother’s death at the Cape, when she had been brought to the general’s, and had there remained like a child of the house, till she had been sent home on the removal of the regiment to India.
So they talked, Rachel feeling confused about whether she was being teased or charmed, while Alexander Keith’s calm demeanor didn’t hide the fact that he was somewhat worried about his sister’s reckless comments. However, he might not have realized how much her cheerful, quirky way could win people's hearts and give a carefree elegance to her silly remarks. As they got closer to Avonmouth, she became more serious and gentle, speaking fondly about the kindness she received when her mother died at the Cape. She had been brought to the general’s house and had stayed there like a member of the family until she was sent home when the regiment moved to India.
“I remember,” she said, “Mrs. Curtis kept great order. In fact, between ourselves, she was rather a dragon; and Lady Temple, though she had one child then, seemed like my companion and playfellow. Dear little Lady Temple, I wonder if she is altered!”
“I remember,” she said, “Mrs. Curtis was strict. Honestly, between us, she was kind of a dragon; and Lady Temple, even though she had one child back then, felt more like my friend and playmate. Sweet little Lady Temple, I wonder if she’s changed!”
“Not in the least,” returned both her companions at once, and she was quite ready to agree with them when the slender form and fair young face met her in the hall amid a cloud of eager boys. The meeting was a full renewal of the parting, warm and fond, and Bessie so comported herself on her introduction to the children, that they all became enamoured of her on the spot, and even Stephana relaxed her shyness on her behalf. That sunny gay good-nature could not be withstood, and Rachel, again sharing Fanny’s first dinner after an arrival, no longer sat apart despising the military atmosphere, but listening, not without amusement, to the account of the humours of the wedding, mingled with Alick Keith’s touches of satire.
“Not at all,” both her friends replied simultaneously, and she was completely on board with them when the slender figure and youthful face appeared in the hall surrounded by a bunch of eager boys. The reunion was a heartfelt and warm one, and Bessie handled the introduction to the children so well that they all instantly fell in love with her, even Stephana let go of her shyness for her sake. That cheerful, sunny disposition was irresistible, and Rachel, once again joining Fanny for her first dinner after arriving, no longer sat apart looking down on the military vibe, but listened with amusement to the stories about the wedding shenanigans, mixed with Alick Keith’s witty commentary.
“It was very stupid,” said Bessie, “of none of those girls to have Uncle George to marry them. My aunt fancied he would be nervous, but I know he did marry a couple when Mr. Lifford was away; I mean him to marry me, as I told them all.”
“It was really foolish,” Bessie said, “for none of those girls to have Uncle George marry them. My aunt thought he would be too nervous, but I know he did marry a couple when Mr. Lifford was away; I mean for him to marry me, like I told them all.”
“You had better wait till you know whether he will,” observed Alick.
“You should probably wait until you find out if he will,” Alick pointed out.
“Will? Oh, he is always pleased to feel he can do like other people,” returned Bessie, “and I’ll undertake to see that he puts the ring on the right—I mean the left finger. Because you’ll have to give me away, you know, Alick, so you can look after him.”
“Will? Oh, he always likes to feel like he can do what everyone else does,” returned Bessie, “and I'll make sure he puts the ring on the right—I mean the left finger. Because you’ll have to give me away, you know, Alick, so you can keep an eye on him.”
“You seem to have arranged the programme pretty thoroughly,” said Rachel.
“You seem to have organized the program pretty well,” said Rachel.
“After four weddings at home, one can’t but lay by a little experience for the future,” returned Bessie; “and after all, Alick need not look as if it must be for oneself. He is quite welcome to profit by it, if he has the good taste to want my uncle to marry him.”
“After four weddings at home, you can’t help but pick up a bit of experience for the future,” Bessie replied. “And really, Alick doesn’t have to act like it’s all about me. He’s more than welcome to benefit from it if he has the good sense to want my uncle to marry him.”
“Not unless I were very clear that he liked my choice,” said Alick, gravely.
“Not unless I was very sure that he liked my choice,” said Alick, seriously.
“Oh, dear! Have you any doubts, or is that meant for a cut at poor innocent me, as if I could help people’s folly, or as if he was not gone to Rio Janeiro,” exclaimed Bessie, with a sort of meek simplicity and unconsciousness that totally removed all the unsatisfactoriness of the speech, and made even her brother smile while he looked annoyed; and Lady Temple quietly changed the conversation. Alick Keith was obliged to go away early, and the three ladies sat long in the garden outside the window, in the summer twilight, much relishing the frank-hearted way in which this engaging girl talked of herself and her difficulties to Fanny as to an old friend, and to Rachel as belonging to Fanny.
“Oh, dear! Do you have any doubts, or is that a jab at poor innocent me, as if I could stop people from being foolish, or like he didn’t go to Rio de Janeiro?” Bessie exclaimed, with a kind of gentle simplicity and naivety that completely erased any awkwardness in her words, making even her brother smile despite his annoyance; Lady Temple then smoothly changed the subject. Alick Keith had to leave early, and the three ladies lingered in the garden outside the window during the summer twilight, really enjoying the open-hearted way this charming girl shared her thoughts and challenges with Fanny as if they were old friends, and with Rachel as if she were part of Fanny's circle.
“I am afraid that I was very naughty,” she said, with a hand laid on Lady Temple’s, as if to win pardon; “but I never can resist plaguing that dear anxious brother of mine, and he did so dreadfully take to heart the absurdities of that little Charlie Carleton, as if any one with brains could think him good for anything but a croquet partner, that I could not help giving a little gentle titillation. I saw you did not like it, dear Lady Temple, and I am sorry for it.”
“I’m afraid I was pretty naughty,” she said, placing a hand on Lady Temple’s, as if seeking forgiveness; “but I can never resist teasing my dear, anxious brother. He took to heart the ridiculousness of that little Charlie Carleton so much, as if anyone with sense could think he’s good for anything other than a croquet partner, that I couldn’t help but give a little gentle poke. I noticed you didn’t like it, dear Lady Temple, and I’m sorry for that.”
“I hope I did not vex you,” said Fanny, afraid of having been severe.
“I hope I didn't upset you,” said Fanny, worried that she had been too harsh.
“Oh, no, indeed; a little check just makes one feel one is cared for,” and they kissed affectionately: “you see when one has a very wise brother, plaguing him is irresistible. How little Stephana will plague hers, in self-defence, with so many to keep her in order.”
“Oh, no, of course; a little discipline just makes you feel like someone cares,” and they kissed affectionately. “You see, when you have such a smart brother, teasing him is just too tempting. How little Stephana will tease hers, in self-defense, with so many people to keep her in line.”
“They all spoil her.”
“They all pamper her.”
“Ah, this is the golden age. See what it will be when they think themselves responsible for her! Dear Lady Temple, how could you send him home so old and so grave?”
“Ah, this is the golden age. Just imagine what it will be like when they believe they're responsible for her! Dear Lady Temple, how could you send him back so old and so serious?”
“I am afraid we sent him home very ill. I never expected to see him so perfectly recovered. I could hardly believe my eyes when Colonel Keith brought him to the carriage not in the least lame.”
“I’m worried we sent him home really sick. I never thought I’d see him completely recovered. I could hardly believe my eyes when Colonel Keith brought him to the carriage, and he wasn’t lame at all.”
“Yes; and it was half against his will. He would have been almost glad to be a lay curate to Uncle George, only he knew if he was fit for service my father would have been vexed at his giving up his profession.”
“Yes; and it was partly against his will. He would have almost been happy to be a lay curate to Uncle George, but he knew that if he was capable of serving, my father would have been annoyed at him quitting his profession.”
“Then it was not his choice!” said Rachel.
“Then it wasn’t his choice!” said Rachel.
“Oh, he was born a soldier, like all the rest of us, couldn’t help it. The —th is our home, and if he would only take my hint and marry, I could be with him there, now! Lady Temple, do pray send for all the eligible officers—I don’t know any of them now, except the two majors, and Alick suspects my designs, I believe, for he won’t tell me anything about them.”
“Oh, he was born a soldier, just like all of us, couldn’t help it. The —th is our home, and if he would just take my hint and get married, I could be with him there right now! Lady Temple, please send for all the eligible officers—I don’t know any of them now, except for the two majors, and I think Alick suspects my intentions because he won’t tell me anything about them.”
“My dear!” said Fanny, bewildered, “how you talk; you know we are living a very quiet life here.”
“My dear!” said Fanny, confused, “how you talk; you know we’re living a very quiet life here.”
“Oh, yes, so Alick has told me,” she said, with a pretty compunction in her tone; “you must be patient with me,” and she kissed Fanny’s fingers again and spoke in a gentler way. “I am used to be a great chatter-box, and nobody protested but Alick.”
“Oh, yes, Alick has told me,” she said, with a sweet hint of guilt in her tone; “you'll have to be patient with me,” and she kissed Fanny’s fingers again and spoke more softly. “I used to be quite the chatterbox, and no one ever complained except Alick.”
“I wish you would tell me about his return, my dear; he seemed so unfit to travel when your poor father came to the hills and took him away by dak. It seemed so impossible he could bear the journey; he could not stand or help himself at all, and had constant returns of fever; but they said the long sea voyage was the only chance, and that in India he could not get vigour enough to begin to recover. I was very unhappy about him,” said Fanny, innocently, whilst Rachel felt very vigilant, wondering if Fanny were the cause of the change his sister spoke of.
“I wish you would tell me about his return, my dear; he seemed so unfit to travel when your poor father came to the hills and took him away by dak. It seemed so unlikely he could handle the journey; he couldn't stand or take care of himself at all, and kept getting fevers. But they said the long sea voyage was his only chance, and that in India he wouldn't have the strength he needed to start recovering. I was really worried about him,” said Fanny, innocently, while Rachel felt very alert, wondering if Fanny was the reason for the change his sister mentioned.
“Yes, the voyage did him good, but the tidings of papa’s death came two months before him, and Uncle George’s eyes were in such a state that he had to be kept in the dark, so that no one could go and meet the poor dear boy at Southampton but Mr. Lifford, and the shock of the news he heard brought the fever back, and it went on intermitting for weeks and weeks. We had him at Littleworthy at first, thinking he could be better nursed and more cheerful there, but there was no keeping the house quiet enough.”
“Yes, the trip did him good, but the news of Dad’s death reached him two months before he got here, and Uncle George’s eyes were so bad that he had to stay in the dark, so that no one could go to meet the poor boy at Southampton except Mr. Lifford. The shock of the news he received brought back the fever, which lingered on and off for weeks. We first had him at Littleworthy, thinking he would be nursed better and feel happier there, but we just couldn’t keep the house quiet enough.”
“Croquet!” said Rachel.
“Croquet!” Rachel exclaimed.
“Everything!” returned Bessie. “Four courtships in more or less progress, besides a few flirtations, and a house where all the neighbours were running in and out in a sociable way. Our loss was not as recent there as it was to him, and they were only nieces, so we could not have interfered with them; besides, my aunt was afraid he would be dull, and wanted to make the most of her conquering hero, and everybody came and complimented him, and catechised him whether he believed in the Indian mutilations, when, poor fellow, he had seen horrors enough never to bear to think of them, except when the fever brought them all over again. I am sure there was excuse enough for his being a little irritable.”
“Everything!” Bessie replied. “Four courtships happening, plus a few flirtations, and a house where all the neighbors were coming and going in a friendly way. Our loss wasn’t as recent for them as it was for him, and they were just nieces, so we couldn’t interfere with them; plus, my aunt was worried he’d be boring and wanted to enjoy her conquering hero, and everyone came by to compliment him and grill him about whether he believed in the Indian mutilations, when, poor guy, he had seen enough horrors to never want to think about them, except when the fever brought them all back to mind. I’m sure there was plenty of reason for him to be a little irritable.”
“My dear,” exclaimed Fanny, quite hurt, “he was patience itself while he was with us.”
“My dear,” Fanny said, clearly upset, “he was the epitome of patience while he was with us.”
“That’s the difference between illness and recovery, dear Lady Temple! I don’t blame him. Any one might be irritable with fresh undetected splinters of bone always working themselves out, all down one side; and doubts which were worse, the fingers on, or the fingers off, and no escape from folly or politeness, for he could not even use a crutch. Oh, no, I don’t blame him; I quite excuse the general dislike he took to everything at poor dear Littleworthy. He viewed it all like that child in Mrs. Browning’s poem, ‘seeing through tears the jugglers leap,’ and we have partaken of the juggler aspect to him ever since!”
"That’s the difference between being sick and getting better, dear Lady Temple! I don’t blame him. Anyone would be irritable with fresh, undetected bone splinters constantly working their way out along one side; and the doubts about whether to use his fingers or not, with no way to escape awkwardness or politeness, since he couldn’t even use a crutch. Oh no, I don’t blame him at all; I completely understand the general dislike he developed for everything at dear Littleworthy. He saw it all like that child in Mrs. Browning’s poem, ‘seeing through tears the jugglers leap,’ and we've all contributed to that juggler perspective for him ever since!"
“I don’t think he could ever be very irritable,” said Fanny, taking the accusation much to heart.
“I don’t think he could ever be really irritable,” said Fanny, taking the accusation to heart.
“Sister and recovery!” lightly said Bessie; “they encounter what no one else does! He only pined for Bishopsworthy, and when we let him move there, after the first month, he and my uncle were happy. I stayed there for a little while, but I was only in the way, the dear good folks were always putting themselves out on my account; and as to Alick, you can’t think how the absence of his poor ‘souffre-douleur,’ invigorated him. Every day I found him able to put more point into his cutting compliments, and reading to my uncle with more energy; till at last by the time the —th came home, he had not so much as a stiff leg to retire upon. Luckily, he and my uncle both cared too much for my poor father’s wishes for him to do so without, though if any unlucky chance should take Mr. Lifford away from my uncle, he threatens coming to supply the vacancy, unless I should, and that is past hope.”
“Sister and recovery!” Bessie said lightly; “they experience things no one else does! He only longed for Bishopsworthy, and once we let him move there, after the first month, he and my uncle were happy. I stayed there for a little while, but I was just in the way; the kind people were always bending over backwards for my sake. And as for Alick, you wouldn’t believe how much his poor 'souffre-douleur' being gone energized him. Every day, I noticed he was able to deliver his sharp compliments with more flair and read to my uncle with more enthusiasm; by the time the —th came home, he didn’t even have a stiff leg to retire on. Thankfully, both he and my uncle cared too much for my poor father's wishes to do that, although if anything unfortunate were to happen to Mr. Lifford, he threatens to step in to fill the gap, unless I do, and that seems beyond hope.”
“Your home is with your uncle,” affirmed Rachel.
“Your home is with your uncle,” Rachel confirmed.
“Yes,” she said, mournfully, “dear Littleworthy was too happy to last. It broke itself up by its own charms—all married and gone, and the last rose of summer in my poor person must float away. Jane wants her mother and not me, and my uncle will submit to me as cheerfully as to other necessary evils. It is not myself that I fear for; I shall be very happy with the dear uncle, but it will be a dreadful overthrow to his habits.”
“Yes,” she said sadly, “dear Littleworthy was too happy to last. It destroyed itself with its own charms—all married and gone, and the last rose of summer in my poor self must float away. Jane wants her mother, not me, and my uncle will tolerate me as willingly as he tolerates other necessary evils. It's not myself I fear for; I’ll be very happy with dear uncle, but it will be a terrible disruption to his routine.”
“I do not see why it need be,” said Rachel.
“I don’t see why it has to be,” said Rachel.
“What! two old bachelors with a young lady turned in on them! And the housekeeper—think of her feelings!”
“What! Two old bachelors with a young lady staying with them! And the housekeeper—imagine how she must feel!”
“I do not think you need be uneasy, my dear,” said Fanny. “Your brother is convinced that it will be the greatest pleasure and comfort to Mr. Clare to have you; and though there may be difficulties at first, I am sure anybody must be the happier for having you,” and she caressed the upturned face, which responded warmly, but with a sigh.
“I don’t think you need to worry, my dear,” Fanny said. “Your brother believes that having you around will be the greatest joy and comfort to Mr. Clare. And even though there might be some challenges at first, I’m sure everyone will be happier for having you here.” She gently stroked the upturned face, which reacted positively but with a sigh.
“Alick is no judge! He is the child of the house, and my uncle and Mr. Lifford don’t feel complete without him. My uncle is as fond of me as can be, and he and I could get on beautifully, but then Mr. Lifford is impracticable.”
“Alick isn't a judge! He's the baby of the family, and my uncle and Mr. Lifford don't feel whole without him. My uncle cares for me a lot, and he and I could get along great, but Mr. Lifford just doesn't make sense.”
“Impracticable?” said Rachel, taking up the long word. “He objects to your exerting yourself in the parish. I know what that is.”
“Impractical?” Rachel replied, picking up on the big word. “He doesn't like you getting involved in the community. I know what that's about.”
“Pray, Rachel,” said Fanny, imploringly, “pray don’t any anything against him! I am very sorry he has annoyed you, but I do like him.”
“Please, Rachel,” Fanny said earnestly, “don’t say anything bad about him! I’m really sorry he upset you, but I do like him.”
“Oh, does he play croquet!” cried Bessie.
“Oh, does he play croquet!” exclaimed Bessie.
“I gather,” said Rachel, in her impressive tone, a little disappointed, “that by impracticable you mean one who will not play croquet.”
“I assume,” said Rachel, with her authoritative tone and a hint of disappointment, “that when you say impractical, you’re referring to someone who won’t play croquet.”
“You have hit it!” laughed Bessie. “Who will neither play at croquet, nor let one work except in his way. Well, there are hopes for you. I cure the curates of every cure I come near, except, of course, the cure that touches me most nearly. The shoemaker’s wife goes the worst shod! I’ll tame yours.”
“You’ve got it!” laughed Bessie. “Who won’t play croquet or let anyone do anything unless it’s his way. Well, there’s hope for you. I help the curates with every issue I encounter, except, of course, the one that affects me the most. The shoemaker's wife is the worst shod! I’ll take care of yours.”
“My dear, I can’t have poor Mr. Touchett made game of.”
“My dear, I can't let poor Mr. Touchett be made fun of.”
“I won’t make game of him, dear Lady Temple, only make him play a game.”
“I won’t tease him, dear Lady Temple, I just want him to join in a game.”
“But you said Alick did not approve,” said Fanny, with the dimmest possible ideas of what croquet was, and believing it a wicked flirtation trap that figured in “Punch.”
“But you said Alick did not approve,” Fanny said, having only the faintest idea of what croquet was, and thinking it was a wicked flirting scheme that appeared in “Punch.”
“Oh, that’s fudge on Master Alick’s part! Just the remains of his old miseries, poor fellow. What he wants is love! Now he’ll meet his fate some of these days; and as he can’t meet three Englishwomen without a mallet in hand, love and croquet will come together.”
“Oh, that’s so typical of Master Alick! Just the leftovers of his past troubles, poor guy. What he really needs is love! He’ll face his destiny soon enough; and since he can’t be around three Englishwomen without a mallet in hand, love and croquet will go hand in hand.”
“Alick is very good,” went on Lady Temple, not answering, but arguing with herself whether this opposition could be right. “Colonel Hammond gave me such an account of him, so valuable and excellent among the men, and doing all that is possible for their welfare, interesting himself about their library, and the regimental school and all. The colonel said he wished only that he was a little more easy and popular among the young officers; but so many of his own standing were gone by the time he joined again, that he lives almost too much to himself, reads a good deal, and is most exemplary, but does not quite make his influence as available as it might be.”
“Alick is really great,” Lady Temple continued, not answering but debating with herself whether this opposition could be justified. “Colonel Hammond told me so much about him—how valuable and respected he is among the men, and how he does everything he can for their wellbeing, taking an interest in their library and the regimental school and such. The colonel mentioned he just wishes Alick were a bit more relaxed and liked by the younger officers. But since so many of his peers were gone by the time he rejoined, he tends to keep to himself a lot, reads a fair amount, and is very commendable, but he doesn’t quite make the most of his influence.”
“That’s just it,” cried Bessie, eagerly; “the boy is a lazy boy, and wants shaking up, or he’ll get savage and no good. Can’t you see, by the way he uses his poor little sister, what an awful don Captain Keith must be to a schoolboy of an ensign? He must be taught toleration and hunted into amiability, or he’ll be the most terrible Turk by the time he is a colonel; and you are the only person that can do it, dear Lady Temple.”
"That’s exactly the problem,” Bessie exclaimed eagerly. “The boy is lazy and needs a wake-up call, or he’ll turn into a savage and be no good. Can’t you see how he treats his poor little sister? It shows what a terrible influence Captain Keith must be on a young ensign at school. He needs to learn some tolerance and be pushed toward being more friendly, or he’ll be an absolute monster by the time he becomes a colonel; and you’re the only one who can make that happen, dear Lady Temple.”
Rachel did not much like this, but it was so prettily and playfully said that the pleasing impression was quite predominant; and when Rachel took leave, it was with a sense of vexation that a person whom she had begun to esteem should be hard upon this bright engaging sister. Yet it might be well if Fanny took note of the admission that he could be irritable as well as stern, and sometimes mistaken in his judgments. What would the Colonel say to all this? The Colonel—here he was coming back again into her imagination. Another symptom!
Rachel wasn't too fond of this, but it was said so charmingly and playfully that the nice impression was hard to ignore. When Rachel said goodbye, she felt frustrated that someone she had started to respect could be so tough on this lively, charming sister. Still, it might be a good idea for Fanny to remember that he could be irritable as well as strict, and sometimes wrong in his judgments. What would the Colonel think about all this? The Colonel—there he was popping back into her thoughts again. Another sign!
The brother left the field entirely to his sister for the present; he was a good deal occupied after his leave, and other officers being away, he was detained at Avoncester, and meantime Bessie Keith took all hearts by storm with her gay good humour and eager sympathy. By the end of the first morning she had been to the stable with a swarm of boys, patted, and learnt the names of all the ponies; she was on the warmest terms with the young spaniel, that, to the Curtises’ vexation, one of the officers had given Conrade, and which was always getting into the way; she had won Alison by telling her of Mr. Clare’s recollections of Ermine’s remarkable beauty and intelligence, and charmed Ermine herself by his kind messages and her own sunshiny brightness; she had delighted Mrs. Curtis and Grace by appreciating their views and their flowers; she had discussed hymnals and chants with Mr. Touchett, and promised her services; she had given a brilliant object lesson at Mrs. Kelland’s, and received one herself in lace-making; and had proved herself, to Rachel’s satisfaction, equally practical and well-read. All the outer world was asking, “Have you seen the young lady with Lady Temple?”
The brother left the field completely to his sister for now; he was quite busy after his leave, and with other officers away, he was stuck at Avoncester. In the meantime, Bessie Keith captured everyone's hearts with her cheerful personality and eager support. By the end of the first morning, she had visited the stable with a bunch of boys, petted, and learned the names of all the ponies; she was on friendly terms with the young spaniel that one of the officers had given to Conrade, much to the Curtises’ annoyance, and it was always causing trouble. She had won over Alison by sharing Mr. Clare’s memories of Ermine’s extraordinary beauty and intelligence, and she had charmed Ermine herself by relaying his kind messages and with her own sunny demeanor; she had delighted Mrs. Curtis and Grace by valuing their opinions and their flowers; she had discussed hymnals and chants with Mr. Touchett and offered her help; she had given a fantastic demonstration at Mrs. Kelland’s and received a lace-making lesson in return; and she had shown herself, to Rachel’s satisfaction, to be both practical and well-read. Everyone outside was asking, “Have you seen the young lady with Lady Temple?”
Nothing came amiss to her, from the antiquity of man to Stephana’s first words; and whether she taught Grace new stitches, played cricket with Conrade, made boats for Cyril, prattled with Lady Temple, or studied with Rachel, all was done with grace, zest, and sympathy peculiarly her own. Two practisings at the school removed the leaden drawl, and lessened the twang of the choir; and Mr. Touchett looked quite exalted, while even Rachel owned that she had hardly believed her ears.
Nothing seemed out of place for her, from the beginning of humanity to Stephana’s first words; and whether she taught Grace new stitches, played cricket with Conrade, made boats for Cyril, chatted with Lady Temple, or studied with Rachel, everything was done with her unique grace, enthusiasm, and empathy. Two practice sessions at the school got rid of the heavy drawl and toned down the choir's twang; Mr. Touchett looked quite thrilled, and even Rachel admitted she could hardly believe what she heard.
Rachel and she constituted themselves particular friends, and Grace kept almost aloof in the fear of disturbing them. She had many friends, and this was the first, except Ermine Williams, to whom Rachel had taken, since a favourite companion of her youth had disappointed her by a foolish marriage. Bessie’s confidences had a vigour in them that even Rachel’s half-way meetings could not check, and then the sharp, clever things she would say, in accordance with Rachel’s views, were more sympathetic than anything she had met with. It was another new charm to life.
Rachel and she became very close friends, and Grace kept her distance, worried about bothering them. She had a lot of friends, but this was the first time, except for Ermine Williams, that Rachel had connected with someone since a favorite companion from her youth let her down with a silly marriage. Bessie’s secrets had an energy that even Rachel’s casual interactions couldn't dull, and the smart, witty things she said, aligned with Rachel’s thoughts, felt more understanding than anything else she had experienced. It added another fresh appeal to life.
One great pleasure they enjoyed together was bathing. The Homestead possessed a little cove of its own under the rocks, where there was a bathing-house, and full perfection of arrangement for young ladies’ aquatic enjoyment, in safety and absolute privacy. Rachel’s vigorous strength and health had been greatly promoted by her familiarity with salt water, and Bessie was in ecstasies at the naiad performances they shared together on the smooth bit of sandy shore, where they dabbled and floated fearlessly. One morning, when they had been down very early to be beforehand with the tide, which put a stop to their enjoyment long before the breakfast hour, Bessie asked if they could not profit by their leisure to climb round the edge of the cliff’s instead of returning by the direct path, and Rachel agreed, with the greater pleasure, that it was an enterprise she had seldom performed.
One great pleasure they shared was swimming. The Homestead had its own little cove under the rocks, complete with a bathing house and everything set up perfectly for young ladies to enjoy the water safely and in total privacy. Rachel’s strong health had improved a lot thanks to her time in saltwater, and Bessie was thrilled with their playful performances together on the smooth sandy shore, where they splashed and floated without a care. One morning, after going down early to catch the tide before it cut their fun short well before breakfast, Bessie suggested they take a detour around the edge of the cliffs instead of heading back the usual way, and Rachel happily agreed, saying it was an adventure she rarely had.
Very beautiful, though adventurous, was the walk—now on the brow of the steep cliff, looking down on the water or on little bays of shingle, now through bits of thicket that held out brambles to entangle the long tresses streaming on their shoulders; always in the brisk morning air, that filled them with strength and spirit, laughing, joking, calling to one another and to Conrade’s little dog, that, like every other creature, had attached itself to Bessie, and had followed her from Myrtlewood that morning, to the vexation of Rachel, who had no love for dogs in their early youth.
The walk was really beautiful and adventurous—sometimes on the edge of a steep cliff, looking down at the water or small beaches covered in pebbles, other times through patches of bushes that had thorny brambles to snag Bessie's long hair flowing down her back; always in the fresh morning air that filled them with energy and excitement, laughing, joking, and calling out to each other and to Conrade's little dog, which, like every other creature, had attached itself to Bessie and followed her from Myrtlewood that morning, much to Rachel's annoyance, as she had no fondness for dogs in their early days.
They were beyond the grounds of the Homestead, but had to go a little further to get into the path, when they paused above a sort of dip or amphitheatre of rock around a little bay, whilst Rachel began telling of the smugglers’ traditions that haunted the place—how much brandy and silk had there been landed in the time of the great French war, and how once, when hard pressed, a party of smugglers, taking a short cut in the moonlight midnight across the Homestead gardens, had encountered an escaped Guinea-pig, and no doubt taking it for the very rat without a tail, in whose person Macbeth’s witch was to do, and to do, and to do, had been nearly scared out of their wits.
They were beyond the Homestead grounds but needed to go a bit further to reach the path, where they paused above a sort of dip or rocky amphitheater around a small bay. Rachel began sharing the smuggler legends that surrounded the area—how much brandy and silk had been brought in during the great French war, and how once, when they were in trouble, a group of smugglers took a shortcut through the Homestead gardens under the moonlight and came across an escaped guinea pig, likely mistaking it for the very rat without a tail that Macbeth's witch was supposed to use, which almost scared them out of their wits.
Her story was cut short by a cry of distress from the dog, and looking down, they perceived that the poor fellow had been creeping about the rocks, and had descended to the little cove, whence he was incapable of climbing up again. They called encouragingly, and pretended to move away, but he only moaned more despairingly, and leapt in vain.
Her story was interrupted by a cry of distress from the dog, and looking down, they saw that the poor guy had been crawling around the rocks and had made his way down to the small cove, from which he couldn't climb back up. They called out encouragingly and pretended to walk away, but he just whimpered more helplessly and jumped in vain.
“He has hurt his foot!” exclaimed Rachel; “I must go down after him. Yes, Don, yes, poor fellow, I’m coming.”
“He hurt his foot!” Rachel exclaimed. “I have to go down after him. Yes, Don, yes, poor guy, I’m on my way.”
“My dear Curtia, don’t leap into the gulf!”
“My dear Curtia, don’t jump into the abyss!”
“Oh, it’s no great height, and the tide will soon fill up this place.”
“Oh, it’s not that high, and the tide will fill this spot soon.”
“Don’t! don’t! You’ll never be able to get up again.”
“Don’t! Don’t! You won’t ever be able to get up again.”
But Rachel was already scrambling down, and, in effect, she was sure-footed and used to her own crags, nor was the distance much above thirty foot, so that she was soon safe on the shingle, to the extreme relief of poor Don, shown by grateful whines; but he was still evidently in pain, and Rachel thought his leg was broken. And how to get up the rock, with a spaniel that when she tried to lift it became apparently twice the size she had always believed it to be, and where both hands as well as feet were required, with the sea fast advancing too?
But Rachel was already climbing down, and she was confident and familiar with her own rocky terrain. The distance was only about thirty feet, so she quickly reached the gravel, much to poor Don's relief, which he showed with grateful whines. However, he still seemed to be in pain, and Rachel suspected his leg might be broken. She wondered how to get back up the rocks with a spaniel that seemed to double in size whenever she tried to lift it, especially when both her hands and feet were needed, and the sea was quickly moving in.
“My dear Rachel, you will only break your neck, too, it is quite vain to try!”
“My dear Rachel, you're only going to hurt yourself; it's pretty pointless to try!”
“If you could just come to that first rock, perhaps I could push him up to you!”
“If you could just get to that first rock, maybe I could push him up to you!”
Bessie came to it, but screamed. “Oh, I’m not steady; I couldn’t do it! Besides, it would hurt him so, and I know you would fall. Poor fellow, it is very sad; but indeed, Rachel, your life is more precious than a dog’s!”
Bessie reached it, but screamed. “Oh, I’m not steady; I can’t do it! Besides, it would hurt him so much, and I know you would fall. Poor guy, it’s really sad; but honestly, Rachel, your life is more valuable than a dog’s!”
“I can’t leave him to drown,” said Rachel, making a desperate scramble, and almost overbalancing herself. “Here, if you could only get him by the scrough of his neck, it would not hurt him so much; poor Don, yes, poor fellow!” as he whined, but still showed his confidence in the touching manner of a sensible dog, knowing he is hurt for his good. Bessie made another attempt, but, unused to rocks, she was uneasy about her footing, and merely frightened herself. “Indeed,” she said, “I had better run and call some one; I won’t be long, and you are really quite safe.”
“I can’t leave him to drown,” Rachel said, scrambling desperately and almost losing her balance. “Here, if you could just grab him by the scruff of his neck, it wouldn’t hurt him as much; poor Don, yes, poor guy!” He whined but still showed his trust in the endearing way of a smart dog, knowing he was hurt for his own good. Bessie tried again, but being new to rocks, she was worried about her footing and only scared herself. “Honestly,” she said, “I should just go get someone; I won’t be long, and you’re really quite safe.”
“Yes, quite safe. If you were down here and I above I am sure he could do it easily.”
“Yes, totally safe. If you were down here and I was up there, I’m sure he could do it without any problem.”
“Ah! but I’m no cragswoman; I’ll be back instantly.”
“Ah! but I’m not a mountain woman; I’ll be right back.”
“That way, that’s the shortest, call to Zack or his father,” tried Rachel, as the light figure quickly disappeared, leaving her a little annoyed at her predicament. She was not at all alarmed for herself, there was no real danger of drowning, she could at any moment get up the rock herself if she chose to leave the dog to its fate; but that she could not bear to think of, and she even thought the stimulus of necessity might prove the mother of invention, if succour should not come before that lapping flux and reflux of water should have crept up the shingly beach, on which she stood; but she was anxious, and felt more and more drawn to the poor dog, so suffering, yet so patient and confiding. Nor did she like the awkwardness of being helped in what ought to be no difficulty at all to a native, and would not have been had her companion, been Grace or even Conrade. Her hope was that her ally Zack would come, as she had directed Bessie towards the cottage; but, behold, after a wearily long interval, it was no blue jacket that appeared, but a round black sea-hide hat, and a sort of easy clerical-looking dress, that Bessie was fluttering before!
“That’s the quickest way, call Zack or his dad,” Rachel suggested, as the light figure quickly faded away, leaving her a bit annoyed with her situation. She wasn’t really worried about herself; there was no real risk of drowning, as she could climb up the rock anytime if she wanted to leave the dog behind. But she couldn’t bear to think of that, and she even believed that the need for action might spark some clever idea if help didn’t arrive before the waves crept up the pebbly beach where she was standing. Still, she was anxious and felt increasingly drawn to the poor dog, which was suffering yet so patient and trusting. She also disliked the awkwardness of needing help with something that shouldn’t be difficult for a local, and it would have been easier if her companion had been Grace or even Conrade. She hoped that Zack would come, as she directed Bessie toward the cottage; however, after a frustratingly long wait, instead of a blue jacket, what appeared was a round black sea-hide hat and a sort of comfortable clerical-looking outfit that Bessie was fluttering in front of!
Few words were required, the stranger’s height and length of arms did all that was needful, and Don was placed in safety with less pain and outcry than could have been hoped, Rachel ascending before the polite stranger had time to offer his assistance. The dog’s hurt was, he agreed with Rachel, a broken leg, and his offer of carrying it home could not be refused, especially as he touched it with remarkable tenderness and dexterity, adding that with a splint or two, he thought he had surgery enough to set the limb.
Few words were needed; the stranger's height and long arms did everything necessary, and Don was moved to safety with less pain and fuss than anyone could have hoped for, Rachel getting up before the polite stranger had a chance to offer his help. The dog’s injury was, as he agreed with Rachel, a broken leg, and his offer to carry it home couldn’t be turned down, especially since he handled it with impressive care and skill, adding that with a splint or two, he thought he had enough medical knowledge to fix the leg.
They were much nearer the Homestead than to Myrtle-wood, and as it had been already agreed that Bessie should breakfast there, the three bent their steps up the hill as fast as might be, in consideration of Mrs. Curtis’s anxieties. Bessie in a state of great exultation and amusement at the romantic adventure, Rachel somewhat put out at the untoward mishap that obliged her to be beholden to one of the casual visitors, against whom her mother had such a prejudice.
They were much closer to the Homestead than to Myrtlewood, and since it had already been agreed that Bessie would have breakfast there, the three of them headed up the hill as quickly as they could, considering Mrs. Curtis’s worries. Bessie was feeling really excited and amused about the romantic adventure, while Rachel was a bit annoyed at the unfortunate situation that forced her to rely on one of the random visitors, who her mother had such a bias against.
Still, the gentleman himself was far from objectionable, in appearance or manner; his air was that of an educated man, his dress that of a clergyman at large, his face keen. Rachel remembered to have met him once or twice in the town within the last few days, and wondered if he could be a person who had called in at the lace school and asked so many questions that Mrs. Kelland had decided that he could be after no good; he must be one of the Parliament folks that they sent down to take the bread out of children’s mouths by not letting them work as many hours as was good for them. Not quite believing in a Government commission on lace-making grievances, Rachel was still prepared to greet a kindred spirit of philanthropy, and as she reflected more, thought that perhaps it was well that an introduction had been procured on any terms.
Still, the gentleman himself was far from unlikable, both in appearance and manner; he had the air of an educated man, dressed like a clergyman, and his face was sharp. Rachel remembered meeting him once or twice in town recently and wondered if he could be the person who had dropped by the lace school and asked so many questions that Mrs. Kelland concluded he must have ill intentions; he must be one of those Parliament people trying to take food out of children’s mouths by limiting how many hours they could work. Not fully convinced about a Government commission on lace-making issues, Rachel was still ready to welcome a like-minded person interested in philanthropy, and as she thought more about it, she decided it was probably a good thing that an introduction had been arranged, no matter the circumstances.
So she thawed a little, and did not leave all the civility to Miss Keith, but graciously responded to the stranger’s admiration of the views, the exquisite framings of the summer sea and sky made by tree, rock, and rising ground, and the walks so well laid out on the little headland, now on smooth turf, now bordering slopes wild with fern and mountain ash, now amid luxuriant exotic shrubs that attested the mildness of Avonmouth winters.
So she warmed up a bit and didn’t leave all the politeness to Miss Keith, but kindly replied to the stranger’s praise of the views, the beautiful frames of the summer sea and sky created by trees, rocks, and rising land, and the paths that were so nicely arranged on the small headland, sometimes on smooth grass, sometimes along slopes wild with ferns and mountain ash, and sometimes among lush exotic shrubs that showed how mild the winters in Avonmouth were.
When they came near the front of the house, Rachel took man and dog in through the open window of her own sitting-room, and hastened to provide him with bandages and splints, leaving Bessie to reassure Mrs. Curtis that no human limbs were broken, and that no one was even wet to the skin; nay, Bessie had even the tact to spare Mrs. Curtis the romantic colouring that delighted herself. Grace had followed Rachel to assist at the operation, and was equally delighted with its neatness and tenderness, as well as equally convinced of the necessity of asking the performer first to wash his hands and then to eat his breakfast, both which kind proposals he accepted with diffident gratitude, first casting a glance around the apartment, which, though he said nothing, conveyed that he was profoundly struck with the tokens of occupation that it contained. The breakfast was, in the first place, a very hungry one; indeed, Bessie had been too ravenous to wait till the surgery was over, and was already arrived at her second egg when the others appeared, and the story had again to be told to the mother, and her warm thanks given. Mrs. Curtis did not like strangers when they were only names, but let her be brought in contact, and her good nature made her friendly at once, above all in her own house. The stranger was so grave and quiet too, not at all presuming, and making light of his services, but only afraid he had been trespassing on the Homestead grounds. These incursions of the season visitors were so great a grievance at the Homestead that Mrs. Curtis highly approved his forbearance, whilst she was pleased with his tribute to her scenery, which he evidently admired with an artistic eye. Love of sketching had brought him to Avonmouth, and before he took leave, Mrs. Curtis had accorded him that permission to draw in her little peninsula for which many a young lady below was sighing and murmuring. He thanked her with a melancholy look, confessing that in his circumstances his pencil was his toy and his solace.
As they approached the front of the house, Rachel brought the man and the dog inside through the open window of her sitting room and quickly went to get him bandages and splints. She left Bessie to reassure Mrs. Curtis that no one’s limbs were broken and that nobody was even wet. In fact, Bessie had the tact to leave out the romantic details that she found so entertaining. Grace followed Rachel to help with the situation and was just as pleased with how neat and gentle it was, just as she insisted that the man wash his hands first and then have breakfast. He accepted both suggestions with shy gratitude, glancing around the room as if it deeply impressed him with the signs of activity it held. The breakfast turned out to be quite a spread; Bessie had been too hungry to wait for the surgery to finish and was already on her second egg when the others arrived. They had to recount the story to the mother again, receiving her warm thanks in return. Mrs. Curtis usually didn’t like strangers who were just names, but once she met them, her friendly nature came out, especially in her own home. The stranger was serious and calm, not at all overstepping, downplaying his help, and only concerned that he might have been intruding on the Homestead’s property. These seasonal visitors were such a bother at the Homestead that Mrs. Curtis appreciated his restraint, and she was happy with his compliments on the scenery, which he clearly admired with an artist's eye. His love of sketching had brought him to Avonmouth, and before he left, Mrs. Curtis granted him permission to draw in her little peninsula, something many young ladies below were dreaming about. He thanked her with a sad expression, admitting that in his situation, his pencil was both his toy and his comfort.
“Once again, that landscape painter!” exclaimed Bessie, with uplifted hands, as soon as both he and Mrs. Curtis were out of earshot, “an adventure at last.”
“Once again, that landscape painter!” Bessie exclaimed, raising her hands in excitement as soon as both he and Mrs. Curtis were far enough away to not hear, “an adventure at last.”
“Not at all,” said Rachel, gravely; “there was neither alarm nor danger.”
“Not at all,” Rachel said seriously; “there was no alarm or danger.”
“Precisely; the romance minus the disagreeables. Only the sea monster wanting. Young Alcides, and rock—you stood there for sacrifice, I was the weeping Dardanian dames.”
“Exactly; the romance without the unpleasant bits. The only thing missing is the sea monster. Young Alcides, and rock—you were there for the sacrifice, I was the crying Dardanian women.”
Even Grace could not help laughing at the mischief of the one, and the earnest seriousness of the other.
Even Grace couldn’t help laughing at the playful antics of one and the sincere seriousness of the other.
“Now, Bessie, I entreat that you will not make a ridiculous story of a most simple affair,” implored Rachel.
“Now, Bessie, please don’t turn this straightforward situation into a silly drama,” Rachel pleaded.
“I promise not to make one, but don’t blame me if it makes itself.”
“I promise I won’t make one, but don’t hold it against me if it happens on its own.”
“It cannot, unless some of us tell the story.”
“It can't, unless some of us share the story.”
“What, do you expect the young Alcides to hold his tongue? That is more than can be hoped of mortal landscape painter.”
“What, do you expect the young Alcides to keep quiet? That’s asking too much of a mortal landscape painter.”
“I wish you would not call him so. I am sure he is a clergyman.”
“I wish you wouldn’t call him that. I’m sure he’s a clergyman.”
“Landscape painter, I would lay you anything you please.”
“Landscape painter, I would bet you anything you want.”
“Nay,” said Grace, “according to you, that is just what he ought not to be.”
“Nah,” said Grace, “according to you, that’s exactly what he shouldn't be.”
“I do not understand what diverts you so much,” said Rachel, growing lofty in her displeasure. “What matters it what the man may be?”
“I don’t understand what distracts you so much,” said Rachel, becoming high and mighty in her displeasure. “What does it matter who the guy is?”
“That is exactly what we want to see,” returned Bessie.
"That's exactly what we want to see," Bessie replied.
Poor Rachel, a grave and earnest person like her, had little chance with one so full of playful wit and fun as Bessie Keith, to whom her very dignity and susceptibility of annoyance made her the better game. To have involved the grave Rachel in such a parody of an adventure was perfectly irresistible to her, and to expect absolute indifference to it would, as Grace felt, have been requiring mere stupidity. Indeed, there was forbearance in not pushing Rachel further at the moment; but proceeding to tell the tale at Myrtlewood, whither Grace accompanied Bessie, as a guard against possible madcap versions capable of misconstruction.
Poor Rachel, being such a serious and sincere person, had little chance against someone as playful and fun-loving as Bessie Keith. Rachel's dignity and tendency to get annoyed only made her a more tempting target for Bessie's antics. It was completely irresistible for Bessie to get serious Rachel involved in such a ridiculous situation, and expecting her to be totally indifferent to it would, as Grace thought, be asking for plain foolishness. In fact, it was considerate not to push Rachel any further at that moment. Instead, Grace decided to share the story at Myrtlewood, where she went with Bessie, as a way to prevent any wild versions of the story that could be misinterpreted.
“Yes,” said Rachel to herself, “I see now what Captain Keith regrets. His sister, with all her fine powers and abilities, has had her tone lowered to the hateful conventional style of wit that would put me to the blush for the smallest mishap. I hope he will not come over till it is forgotten, for the very sight of his disapproval would incite her further. I am glad the Colonel is not here. Here, of course, he is in my imagination. Why should I be referring everything to him; I, who used to be so independent? Suppose this nonsense gave him umbrage? Let it. I might then have light thrown on his feelings and my own. At any rate, I will not be conscious. If this stranger be really worth notice, as I think he is, I will trample on her ridicule, and show how little I esteem it.”
“Yes,” Rachel said to herself, “I see now what Captain Keith regrets. His sister, with all her talents and abilities, has fallen into that annoying conventional style of humor that would make me embarrassed over the smallest mistake. I hope he doesn't come by until it's all forgotten because just seeing his disapproval would only fuel her further. I'm glad the Colonel isn't here. Well, he’s here in my mind, of course. Why am I tying everything back to him? I used to be so independent! If this nonsense annoys him, so be it. Maybe then I'll gain some insight into his feelings and my own. At any rate, I won't dwell on it. If this stranger is truly someone to pay attention to, as I believe he is, I will brush off her mockery and show how little I care about it.”
CHAPTER IX. THE NEW SPORT
“‘Sire,’ I replied, ‘joys prove cloudlets, Men are the merest Ixions.’ Here the King whistled aloud, ‘Let’s, Heigho, go look at our lions!’ Such are the sorrowful chances If you talk fine to King Francis.”—R. BROWNING.
“‘Sire,’ I replied, ‘joys are just fleeting moments, Men are nothing but the most basic beings.’ At this, the King whistled and said, ‘Come on, Heigho, let’s go check out our lions!’ These are the unfortunate outcomes If you speak elegantly to King Francis.” —R. BROWNING.
The day after Rachel’s adventure with Don a card came into the drawing-room, and therewith a message that the gentleman had availed himself of Mrs. Curtis’s kind permission, and was sketching the Spinster’s Needles, two sharp points of red rock that stood out in the sea at the end of the peninsula, and were specially appropriated by Rachel and Grace.
The day after Rachel’s adventure with Don, a card came into the drawing room, along with a message that the gentleman had taken Mrs. Curtis’s kind permission and was sketching the Spinster’s Needles, two sharp points of red rock that jutted out into the sea at the end of the peninsula and were especially reserved by Rachel and Grace.
The card was written, not engraved, the name “Rd. R. H. C. L. Mauleverer;” and a discussion ensued whether the first letters stood for Richard or for Reverend, and if he could be unconscionable enough to have five initials. The sisters had some business to transact at Villars’s, the Avonmouth deposit of literature and stationery, which was in the hands of a somewhat aspiring genius, who edited the weekly paper, and respected Miss Rachel Curtis in proportion to the number of periodicals she took in, and the abstruseness of the publications she inquired after. The paper in its Saturday’s dampness lay fresh on the counter, and glancing at the new arrivals, Grace had the desired opportunity of pointing to Mr. Mauleverer’s name, and asking when he had come. About a week since, said the obliging Mr. Villars, he appeared to be a gentleman of highly literary and artistic tastes, a philanthropist; indeed, Mr. Villars understood him to be a clerical gentlemen who had opinions—
The card was written, not engraved, with the name “Rd. R. H. C. L. Mauleverer;” and a conversation started about whether the first letters stood for Richard or Reverend, and if he could be inconsiderate enough to have five initials. The sisters had some errands to run at Villars’s, the Avonmouth spot for literature and stationery, which was managed by a somewhat ambitious individual who edited the weekly paper and respected Miss Rachel Curtis based on the number of magazines she subscribed to and the complexity of the publications she asked about. The paper, still damp from Saturday’s printing, lay fresh on the counter, and while looking at the new arrivals, Grace had the perfect chance to point to Mr. Mauleverer’s name and ask when he had arrived. “About a week ago,” said the helpful Mr. Villars. He seemed to be a gentleman with strong literary and artistic interests, a philanthropist; indeed, Mr. Villars believed him to be a clerical gentleman with opinions—
“Oh, Rachel, I am very sorry,” said Grace.
“Oh, Rachel, I'm really sorry,” said Grace.
“Sorry, what for?”
"Sorry, for what?"
“Why, you and mamma seemed quite inclined to like him.”
“Why, you and Mom seemed really interested in him.”
“Well, and what have we heard?”
“Well, what have we heard?”
“Not much that is rational, certainly,” said Grace, smiling; “but we know what was meant.”
“Not really anything rational,” Grace said with a smile, “but we know what it meant.”
“Granting that we do, what is proved against him? No, I will not say proved, but alleged. He is one of the many who have thought for themselves upon the perplexing problems of faith and practice, and has been sincere, uncompromising, self-sacrificing, in avowing that his mind is still in that state of solution in which all earnest and original minds must be ere the crystallizing process sets in. Observe, Grace, I am not saying for an instant that he is in the right. All I do say is, that when depth of thought and candour have brought misfortune upon a man, it is ungenerous, therefore, to treat him as if he had the leprosy.”
“Assuming we do, what’s actually been proven against him? No, I won't say proven, but alleged. He is one of many who have considered the complex issues of faith and practice for themselves and has been sincere, unwavering, and self-sacrificing in admitting that his thoughts are still in a state of uncertainty, which is where all serious and original thinkers must be before their ideas solidify. Look, Grace, I'm not claiming for a second that he is right. All I’m saying is that when someone’s deep thinking and honesty lead to misfortune, it’s unkind to treat him as if he were contagious.”
“Indeed, Rachel, I think you have made more out of his opinions than I did.”
“Honestly, Rachel, I think you’ve put more weight on his opinions than I did.”
“I was only arguing on your construction of his opinions.”
“I was just discussing how you interpret his opinions.”
“Take care—!” For they were at this moment reaching a gate of Myrtlewood, and the sound of hoofs came close behind them. They were those of the very handsome chestnut, ridden by Alexander Keith, who jumped off his horse with more alacrity than usual as they were opening the gate for him, and holding out his hand, eagerly said—
“Watch out—!” At that moment, they were approaching a gate made of Myrtlewood, and the sound of hoofbeats was getting closer behind them. It was the very handsome chestnut horse, ridden by Alexander Keith, who jumped off his horse with more energy than usual as they opened the gate for him, and reaching out his hand, he eagerly said—
“Then I conclude there is nothing the matter?”
“Then I take it that there’s nothing wrong?”
“Nothing at all,” said Grace. “What did you hear?”
“Nothing at all,” Grace said. “What did you hear?”
“Only a little drowning, and a compound fracture or two,” said he, relapsing into his languid ease as he gave his bridle to a groom, and walked with them towards the house.
“Just a bit of drowning and a couple of broken bones,” he said, settling back into his relaxed demeanor as he handed his reins to a groom and walked with them toward the house.
“There, how very annoying!” exclaimed Rachel, “though, of course, the smallest adventure does travel.”
“There, how annoying!” Rachel exclaimed, “but, of course, even the smallest adventure is still a journey.”
“I may venture to hope that neither are you drowned, nor my sister’s leg broken, nor a celebrated professor and essayist ‘in a high fever wi’ pulling any of you out of the sea.’”
“I hope that you aren’t drowning, my sister’s leg isn’t broken, and that a well-known professor and essayist isn’t ‘in a high fever from trying to pull any of you out of the sea.’”
“There, Grace,” exclaimed Rachel; “I told you he was something distinguished.”
“There, Grace,” Rachel said excitedly, “I told you he was someone special.”
“My dear Rachel, if his celebrity be in proportion to the rest of the story.”
“My dear Rachel, if his fame is in line with the rest of the story.”
“Then there really was a rescue!” exclaimed Captain Keith, now with much more genuine anxiety; and Rachel recollecting her desire that the right version should have the precedence, quickly answered, “There was no danger, only Don slipped down into that curved cove where we walked one day with the boys. I went down after him, but he had broken his leg. I could not get up with him in my arms, and Bessie called some one to help me.”
“Then there really was a rescue!” Captain Keith said, now sounding genuinely worried. Rachel, remembering her wish for the right story to take priority, quickly responded, “There was no danger; Don just slipped into that curved cove where we walked one day with the boys. I went down after him, but he had broken his leg. I couldn’t carry him back up, and Bessie called someone to help me.”
“And why could not Bessie help you herself?”
“And why couldn't Bessie help you herself?”
“Oh! strangers can never climb on our slippery rocks as we can.”
“Oh! Strangers can never climb our slippery rocks like we do.”
“Moreover, it would have spoilt the predicament,” muttered the brother to himself; then turning round with a smile, “And is the child behaving herself?”
“Besides, that would have messed up the situation,” muttered the brother to himself; then turning around with a smile, “So, is the child behaving herself?”
Grace and Rachel answered in a eager duet how she was charming every one, so helpful, so kind, so everything.
Grace and Rachel replied eagerly in unison that she was charming everyone, so helpful, so kind, so everything.
“Ah!” he said with real satisfaction, apparent in the eyes that were so pleasant when open wide enough to be visible; “I knew she always did better when I was not there.”
“Ah!” he said with genuine satisfaction, clear in his eyes that were so nice when open wide enough to see; “I knew she always performed better when I wasn’t around.”
They were by this time entering the hall, which, in the confident fashion of the sea-side, stood open; and at the moment Fanny came tripping downstairs with her dress looped up, and a shady hat on her head, looking fearfully girlish, thought her cousins, though her attire was still rigidly black.
They were now entering the hall, which stood open in a breezy way typical of the seaside; at that moment, Fanny came down the stairs, her dress gathered up and a sun hat on her head, looking strikingly youthful, thought her cousins, even though her outfit was still strictly black.
“Oh, I am so glad to see you; Don is so much better, Rachel, and Conrade wants to thank you. He went up yesterday, and was so sorry you were out. Might it not have been dreadful, Alick? I have been so wanting to tell you how very delightful that dear sister of yours is. All the boys are distracted about her. Come out please. She has been teaching the boys such a delightful game; so much nicer than cricket, for I can play with them.”
“Oh, I’m so happy to see you; Don is doing much better, Rachel, and Conrade wants to thank you. He came by yesterday and was really sorry you weren’t home. Wouldn’t it have been awful, Alick? I’ve been wanting to tell you how wonderful that sweet sister of yours is. The boys are all crazy about her. Please come out. She’s been teaching the boys such a fun game; it’s so much better than cricket because I can join in too.”
Alick and Rachel could not but exchange a glance, and at the same moment, emerging through the screen of shrubs on the lawn, Bessie Keith, Conrade, Francis, and Leoline, were seen each with a mallet in hand and a gay ball in readiness to be impelled through the hoops that beset the lawn.
Alick and Rachel couldn’t help but share a glance, and at the same time, emerging through the bushy screen on the lawn, Bessie Keith, Conrade, Francis, and Leoline were seen, each holding a mallet and a bright ball, ready to hit it through the hoops set up on the lawn.
“And you really are learning croquet!” exclaimed innocent Grace; “well, it makes a beautiful ground.”
“And you really are learning croquet!” exclaimed innocent Grace; “well, it makes for a beautiful field.”
“Croquet!” exclaimed poor Lady Temple, with startled eyes; “you don’t really mean that it is croquet! O Bessie, Bessie!”
“Croquet!” exclaimed poor Lady Temple, her eyes wide with shock; “you can't be serious that it’s croquet! Oh Bessie, Bessie!”
“Ah! I didn’t mean you to have come so soon,” said the much amused Bessie, as she gave her hand in greeting. “I meant the prejudice to be first conquered. See, dear Lady Temple, I’m not ashamed; this whitey brown moustache is going to kiss me nevertheless and notwithstanding.”
“Ah! I didn’t expect you to arrive so soon,” said the amused Bessie, as she extended her hand in greeting. “I wanted the bias to be addressed first. Look, dear Lady Temple, I’m not embarrassed; this light brown mustache is still going to kiss me, anyway.”
And so it certainly did, and smiled into the bargain, while the boys came clamouring up, and after thanks for Don’s preservation, began loudly to beg mamma would come, they could not make up their sides without her, but mamma was distressed and unhappy.
And so it really did, and smiled to boot, while the boys rushed up, and after thanking Don for saving them, they started urging mom to come, claiming they couldn't calm down without her. But mom was upset and unhappy.
“Not now, my dears—I must—I must. Indeed I did not know.”
“Not right now, my dears—I have to—I have to. Honestly, I didn’t realize.”
“Now, Alick, I trust to your generosity,” said Bessie, finding that they must be pacified. “Coming, Con—Come, Grace, come and convince Lady Temple that the pastime is not too wicked for you.”
“Now, Alick, I’m counting on your kindness,” said Bessie, realizing they needed to calm down. “Come on, Con—Come, Grace, come and show Lady Temple that this hobby isn’t too bad for you.”
“Indeed, Alick,” Lady Temple was saying. “I am very sorry, I won’t allow it one moment if you think it is objectionable.”
“Definitely, Alick,” Lady Temple was saying. “I’m really sorry, I won’t let it happen for a second if you think it’s inappropriate.”
“But I don’t,” said Alick, smiling. “Far from it. It is a capital game for you and your boys.”
“But I don’t,” Alick said with a smile. “Not at all. It’s a great game for you and your friends.”
“I thought—I thought you disapproved and could not bear it,” said Lady Temple, wondering and wistful.
“I thought—I thought you didn’t approve and couldn’t handle it,” said Lady Temple, curious and longing.
“Can’t bear is not disapprove. Indeed,” seeing that gentle earnest alone could console her, “there is no harm in the game itself. It is a wholly personal distaste, arising from my having been bored with it when I was ill and out of spirits.”
“Can’t bear doesn’t mean disapproval. In fact,” realizing that genuine sincerity was the only thing that could comfort her, “there’s nothing wrong with the game itself. It’s just a personal dislike, stemming from the fact that I was bored with it when I was sick and feeling down.”
“But is not there something about it in ‘Punch?’” she still asked, so anxiously, that it was impossible not to smile; but there was not a particle of that subdued mockery that was often so perplexing in him, as he replied, “Certainly there is about its abuse as an engine for flirtation, which, to tell you the truth, was what sickened me with the sight at Littleworthy; but that is not the line Con and Francie will take just yet. Why, my uncle is specially addicted to listening to croquet, and knows by the step and sound how each player is getting on, till he is quite an oracle in disputed hits.”
“But isn't there something about it in ‘Punch?’” she kept asking, so anxious that it was impossible not to smile; but there was none of that subtle mockery that he often had, as he replied, “Of course there is about its misuse as a tool for flirting, which, to be honest, is what turned me off it at Littleworthy; but that's not the angle Con and Francie will take just yet. My uncle is especially into listening to croquet and can tell by the steps and sounds how each player is doing, making him quite an expert in disputed hits.”
“So Bessie told me,” said Fanny, still feeling that she had been taken in and the brother unkindly used; “but I can’t think how she could, when you don’t like it.”
“So Bessie told me,” Fanny said, still feeling like she had been fooled and her brother treated unfairly; “but I don’t understand how she could, when you don’t like it.”
“Nobody is bound to respect foolish prejudices,” said Alick, still quite in earnest. “It would have been very absurd not to introduce it.”
“Nobody has to respect silly prejudices,” Alick said, still very serious. “It would have been really ridiculous not to introduce it.”
“Come, Alick,” said Bessie, advancing, “have you absolved her, and may we begin? Would it not be a generous act of amnesty if all the present company united in a match?”
“Come on, Alick,” said Bessie, stepping forward, “have you forgiven her, and can we get started? Wouldn't it be a kind gesture of forgiveness if everyone here came together for a match?”
“Too many,” said Alick, “odd numbers. I shall go down and call on Miss Williams. May I come back, Lady Temple, and have a holiday from the mess?”
“Too many,” said Alick, “odd numbers. I’m going to head down and visit Miss Williams. Can I come back, Lady Temple, and take a break from the chaos?”
“I shall be very glad; only I am afraid there is no dinner.”
“I’d be really happy; I just worry there’s no dinner.”
“So much the better. Only let me see you begin, or I shall never dare to express an opinion for the future.”
“So much the better. Just let me see you start, or I’ll never feel confident enough to share my opinion in the future.”
“Mamma, do pray, pray begin; the afternoon is wasting like nothing!” cried Conrade of the much-tried patience. “And Aunt Rachel,” he added, in his magnanimity, “you shall be my partner, and I’ll teach you.”
“Mama, please, just start; the afternoon is slipping away!” cried Conrade, testing everyone's patience. “And Aunt Rachel,” he continued generously, “you can be my partner, and I’ll teach you.”
“Thank you, Conrade, but I can’t; I promised to be at home at four,” said Rachel, who had all this time been watching with curious interest which influence would prevail—whether Alick would play for Fanny’s sake, or Fanny abstain for Alick’s sake. She was best satisfied as it was, but she had still to parry Bessie Keith’s persuasive determination. Why would she go home? it certainly was to inspect the sketches of the landscape-painter. “You heard, Alick, of the interesting individual who acted the part of Rachel’s preserver,” she added.
"Thanks, Conrade, but I can't; I promised to be home by four," Rachel said, watching with curious interest to see which influence would win out—whether Alick would play for Fanny or if Fanny would hold back for Alick. She was okay with things as they were, but she still needed to fend off Bessie Keith’s persuasive determination. Why would she go home? It was definitely to check out the landscape painter's sketches. "Did you hear, Alick, about the intriguing person who played the role of Rachel’s savior?" she added.
The very force of Rachel’s resolution not to be put out of countenance served to cover her with the most uncomfortable blushes, all the more at the thought of her own unlucky exclamation. “I came here,” said Alick, coolly, “to assist in recovering the beloved remains from a watery grave;” and then, as Bessie insisted on hearing the Avoncester version, he gave it; while Grace added the intelligence that the hero was a clergyman, sinking the opinions, as too vague to be mentioned, even had not the company been too flighty for a subject she thought serious and painful. “And he is at this moment sketching the Spinster’s Needles!” said Bessie. “Well, I am consoled. With all your resolve to flatten down an adventure, fate is too strong for you. Something will come of it. Is not the very resolve that it shall not be an adventure a token?”
The very strength of Rachel’s determination not to show any embarrassment only made her blush even more, especially thinking about her unfortunate outburst. “I came here,” Alick said casually, “to help recover the beloved remains from a watery grave;” and then, as Bessie insisted on hearing the version from Avoncester, he shared it; while Grace added the information that the hero was a clergyman, avoiding any opinions, as they seemed too vague to mention, especially given how lighthearted the group was for what she considered a serious and painful topic. “And he is at this moment sketching the Spinster’s Needles!” Bessie exclaimed. “Well, I feel better. With all your determination to downplay an adventure, fate is still too powerful for you. Something will come of it. Isn't the very determination that it shouldn't be an adventure a sign?”
“If any one should wish to forget it, it is you, I think, Bessie,” said Alick. “Your admirable sagacity seems to have been at fault. I thought you prided yourself on your climbing.”
“If anyone wants to forget it, it’s you, I think, Bessie,” said Alick. “Your impressive insight seems to have failed you. I thought you took pride in your climbing.”
“Up a slippery perpendicular—”
"Up a steep slope—"
“I know the place,” he gravely answered.
“I know the place,” he said seriously.
“Well,” exclaimed Bessie, recovering herself, “I am not a mermaid nor even a dear gazelle, and, in my humble opinion, there was far more grace in preventing heroism from being ‘unwept, unnoticed, and unsung,’ than in perilling my own neck, craning down and strangling the miserable beast, by pulling him up by the scrough of his neck! What an introduction would have been lost!”
“Well,” Bessie exclaimed, regaining her composure, “I’m neither a mermaid nor a lovely gazelle, and, in my opinion, it takes much more grace to keep heroism from being ‘unwept, unnoticed, and unsung’ than to risk my own life by reaching down and trying to strangle the miserable creature by yanking him up by the scruff of his neck! What a moment would have been wasted!”
“If you are going to play, Bessie,” said her brother, “it would be kind to take pity upon those boys.”
“If you’re going to play, Bessie,” her brother said, “it would be nice to show some pity for those boys.”
“One achievement is mine,” she said, dancing away backwards, her bright eyes beaming with saucy merriment, “the great Alexander has bidden me to croquet.”
“One achievement is mine,” she said, dancing back with a playful smile, her bright eyes sparkling with mischief, “the great Alexander has invited me to play croquet.”
“I am afraid,” said her brother, turning to Rachel as she departed, “that it was all her fault. Pray be patient with her, she has had many disadvantages.”
“I’m afraid,” said her brother, turning to Rachel as she left, “that it was all her fault. Please be patient with her; she’s faced a lot of challenges.”
His incomprehensible irony had so often perplexed Rachel, that she did not know whether his serious apologetic tone were making game of her annoyance, and she answered not very graciously, “Oh, never mind, it did not signify.” And at the same time came another urgent entreaty from the boys that the two “aunts” would join the game, Conrade evidently considering that partnership with him would seal the forgiveness Aunt Rachel had won by the rescue of Don.
His confusing sarcasm had often left Rachel puzzled, making her unsure if his serious, apologetic tone was mocking her irritation. She responded somewhat ungraciously, “Oh, never mind, it doesn’t matter.” At the same time, the boys urgently pleaded for the two “aunts” to join the game, with Conrade clearly believing that teaming up with him would secure the forgiveness Aunt Rachel had earned by saving Don.
Grace readily yielded, but Rachel pleaded her engagement, and when the incorrigible Bessie declared that they perfectly understood that nothing could compete with the sketch of the Spinster’s Needles, she answered, “I promised to write a letter for my mother on business before post time. The Burnaby bargain,” she explained, to add further conviction.
Grace quickly agreed, but Rachel insisted on her commitment, and when the stubborn Bessie said that they all knew nothing could compare to the sketch of the Spinster’s Needles, she replied, “I promised to write a letter for my mom about business before the post goes out. The Burnaby deal,” she clarified, trying to sound more convincing.
“A business-like transaction indeed!” exclaimed Bessie, much diverted with the name.
“A business-like transaction for sure!” Bessie exclaimed, quite amused by the name.
“Only a bit of land in trust for apprenticing poor children,” said Rachel. “It was left by a Curtis many generations ago, in trust to the rector of the parish and the lord of the manor; and poor Mr. Linton is so entirely effete, that it is virtually in our hands. It is one of the vexations of my life that more good cannot be done with it, for the fees are too small for superior tradespeople, and we can only bind them to the misery of lacemaking. The system belongs to a worn-out state of things.”
“Just a small piece of land set aside for training underprivileged kids,” Rachel said. “It was left by a Curtis many generations ago, in trust to the parish rector and the lord of the manor; and poor Mr. Linton is so completely unfit for the role that it's practically in our control. One of the frustrations in my life is that we can't do more good with it, since the fees are too low for skilled tradespeople, and we can only tie them to the hardships of lacemaking. The system is outdated.”
The word system in Rachel’s mouth was quite sufficient to send Bessie to her croquet, and the poor boys were at length rewarded for their unusual patience. Their mother had been enduring almost as much as they did in her dislike to see them tantalised, and she now threw herself into the game with a relish that proved that as yet, at least, Conrade’s approbation was more to her than Captain Keith’s. It was very pretty to see her so pleased with her instructions, so eager about her own game, and yet so delighted with every hit of her boys; while Bessie was an admirable general, playing everybody’s game as well as her own, and with such life and spirit, such readiness and good nature, that a far duller sport would have been delicious under her management.
The word "system" that Rachel said was enough to send Bessie off to her croquet, and finally, the boys were rewarded for their unusual patience. Their mother had been enduring almost as much as they had in her dislike of seeing them teased, and she now threw herself into the game with such enthusiasm that it showed, at least for now, that Conrade’s approval mattered more to her than Captain Keith’s. It was really nice to see her so happy with her instructions, so excited about her own game, and yet so thrilled with every hit from her boys; meanwhile, Bessie was an excellent leader, playing everyone’s game as well as her own, and with such energy and spirit, such willingness and good humor, that even a much duller sport would have been enjoyable under her guidance.
“Poor Alick,” said she, meeting him when he again strolled into the garden, while the boys were collecting the mallets and balls; “he did think he had one lawn in the world undefiled by those horrible hoops!” then as she met his smile of amusement and pardon, “but it was so exactly what they wanted here. It is so good for Lady Temple and her boys to have something they can do together.”
“Poor Alick,” she said, encountering him as he walked back into the garden while the boys were picking up the mallets and balls; “he really thought he had one lawn in the world free from those awful hoops!” Then, as she met his amused and forgiving smile, she added, “but it’s exactly what they needed here. It’s great for Lady Temple and her boys to have something they can enjoy together.”
The pleased affectionate smile was gone.
The happy, loving smile had disappeared.
“I object to nothing but its being for her good,” he said gravely.
“I don’t object to anything except that it’s for her own good,” he said seriously.
“But now, does not it make her very happy, and suit her excellently?”
“But now, doesn’t it make her really happy and suit her perfectly?”
“May be so, but that is not the reason you introduced it.”
“Maybe that’s true, but that’s not why you brought it up.”
“You have a shocking habit of driving one up into corners, Alick, but it shall be purely, purely for my own selfish delight,” and she clasped her hands in so droll an affectation of remorse, that the muscles round his eyes quivered with diversion, though the hair on his lip veiled what the corners of his mouth were about; “if only,” she proceeded, “you won’t let it banish you. You must come over to take care of this wicked little sister, or who knows what may be the consequences.”
“You have an amazing ability to corner someone, Alick, but I’ll do it purely for my own selfish enjoyment,” she said, clasping her hands in such a playful way of pretending to feel guilty that the muscles around his eyes twitched with amusement, even though the hair on his lip hid what the corners of his mouth were doing; “if only,” she continued, “you don’t let it push you away. You have to come over to look after this mischievous little sister, or who knows what might happen.”
“I kept away partly because I was busy, and partly because I believe you are such a little ape as always to behave worse when you have the semblance of a keeper;” he said, with his arm fondly on her shoulder as they walked.
“I stayed away partly because I was busy, and partly because I think you always act like a little monkey when you have the appearance of a caretaker,” he said, with his arm affectionately on her shoulder as they walked.
“And in the mean time fell out the adventure of the distinguished essayist.”
"And in the meantime, the adventure of the famous essayist unfolded."
“I am afraid,” he returned, “that was a gratuitous piece of mischief, particularly annoying to so serious and thoughtful a person as Miss Rachel Curtis.”
“I’m afraid,” he replied, “that was a pointless act of mischief, especially frustrating for someone as serious and thoughtful as Miss Rachel Curtis.”
“Jealousy?” exclaimed Bessie in an ecstatic tone. “You see what you lost by not trusting me, to behave myself under the provocation of your presence.”
“Jealousy?” Bessie exclaimed excitedly. “Look at what you lost by not trusting me to behave myself when you were around.”
“What! the pleasure of boxing your ears for a coward?”
“What! The joy of slapping a coward?”
“Of seizing the happy opening! I am very much afraid for you now, Alick,” she proceeded with mock gravity. “What hope can a poor Captain of Highlanders, even if he does happen to be a wounded hero or two, have against a distinguished essayist and landscape painter; if it were a common case indeed, but where Wisdom herself is concerned—”
“About seizing the happy opportunity! I’m really worried for you now, Alick,” she continued with a serious tone. “What chance does a poor Captain of Highlanders, even if he happens to be a wounded hero or two, have against a well-known essayist and landscape painter; if it were a usual situation, it would be one thing, but when it involves Wisdom herself—”
“Military frivolity cannot hope,” returned Alick, with a shake of his head, and a calm matter-of-fact acquiescent tone.
“Military frivolity cannot hope,” Alick replied, shaking his head and speaking in a calm, matter-of-fact tone.
“Ah, poor Alick,” pursued his sister, “you always were a discreet youth; but to be connected with such a union of learning, social science, and homeaopathy, soared beyond my utmost ambition. I suppose the wedding tour—supposing the happy event to take place—will be through a series of model schools and hospitals, ending in Hanwell.”
“Ugh, poor Alick,” his sister continued, “you’ve always been a sensible guy; but being part of such a mix of education, social science, and homeopathy is more than I ever dreamed of. I guess the honeymoon—if the happy occasion actually happens—will be a tour of model schools and hospitals, wrapping up in Hanwell.”
“No,” said Alick, equally coolly, “to the Dutch reformatory, and the Swiss cretin asylum.”
“No,” Alick said, just as calmly, “to the Dutch reform school and the Swiss facility for those with cretinism.”
She was exceedingly tickled at his readiness, and proceeded in a pretended sentimental tone, “I am glad you have revealed the secrets of your breast. I saw there was a powerful attraction and that you were no longer your own, but my views were humbler. I thought the profound respect with which you breathed the name of Avonmouth, was due to the revival of the old predilection for our sweet little—”
She was really amused by his willingness, and continued in a feigned sentimental tone, “I’m glad you’ve shared what’s in your heart. I noticed there was a strong attraction and that you weren’t truly yourself anymore, but my thoughts were more modest. I believed the deep respect with which you spoke the name of Avonmouth came from the return of the old fondness for our sweet little—”
“Hush, Bessie,” said her brother, roused for the first time into sternness, “this is more than nonsense. One word more of this, and you will cut me off from my greatest rest and pleasure.”
“Be quiet, Bessie,” her brother said, suddenly serious for the first time. “This isn’t just nonsense. If you say one more word about it, you’ll take away my greatest peace and happiness.”
“From the lawn where croquet waits his approbation,” was on Bessie’s tongue, but she did not say it. There were moments when she stood in fear of her brother. He paused, and as if perceiving that his vehemence was in itself suspicious, added, “Remember, I never met her from seven years old till after her marriage. She has been the kindest of friends in right of our fathers’ old friendship. You know how her mother nursed me, and the sister she was to me. And Bessie, if your selfishness—I wish I could call it thoughtlessness—involves her innocent simplicity in any scrape, derogatory to what is becoming her situation, I shall find it very hard to forgive you, and harder still to forgive myself for letting you come here.”
“From the lawn where croquet is waiting for his approval,” was on Bessie’s tongue, but she didn’t say it. There were times when she was afraid of her brother. He paused, and as if realizing that his intensity was suspicious, added, “Remember, I didn’t meet her from the age of seven until after her marriage. She has been the kindest of friends because of the old friendship between our fathers. You know how her mother took care of me, and how close she was to me. And Bessie, if your selfishness—I wish I could just call it thoughtlessness—gets her innocent simplicity into any trouble that reflects poorly on her situation, I'm going to find it really hard to forgive you, and even harder to forgive myself for letting you come here.”
Bessie pouted for a moment, but her sweetness and good humour were never away. “There, you have given your wicked little sister a screed,” she said, looking insinuatingly up at him. “Just as if I did not think her a darling, and would not for the world do anything to spoil her. Have not I been leading the most exemplary life, talking systems and visiting cottages with Rachel and playing with the boys, and singing with the clergyman; and here am I pounced on, as if I were come to be the serpent in this anti-croquet paradise.”
Bessie sulked for a moment, but her sweetness and good humor never faded. “Well, you’ve just given your mischievous little sister a lecture,” she said, looking up at him playfully. “As if I didn’t think she was adorable and wouldn’t do anything to spoil her. Haven’t I been living the most perfect life, discussing plans and visiting homes with Rachel, playing with the boys, and singing with the pastor? And here I am, being treated like I’m the villain in this anti-croquet paradise.”
“Only a warning, Bessie.”
“Just a warning, Bessie.”
“You’ll be better now you have had it out. I’ve seen you suppressing it all this time, for fear of frightening me away.”
“You’ll feel better now that you’ve talked about it. I’ve noticed you holding it in all this time because you were afraid of scaring me off.”
Every one knows how the afternoon croquet match on the Myrtlewood Lawn became an institution, though with some variation in the observers thereof, owing to the exigencies of calls, rides, and Ermine Williams’s drive, which Lady Temple took care should happen at least twice a week. The most constant votaries of the mallet and hoop were, of course, the two elder boys, the next pair being distant worshippers only now and then admitted by special favour, but the ardour of their mother even exceeded that of Bessie Keith, and it was always a disappointment to her if she were prevented from playing. Grace and Alison Williams frequently took their share with enjoyment, though not with the same devotion, and visitors, civil and military, also often did their part, but the most fervent of all these was Mr. Touchett. Ever since that call of his, when, after long impatience of his shy jerks of conversation and incapacity of taking leave, Miss Keith had exclaimed, “Did you ever play at croquet? do come, and we will teach you,” he had been its most assiduous student. The first instructions led to an appointment for more, one contest to another, and the curate was becoming almost as regular a croquet player as Conrade himself, not conversing much but sure to be in his place; and showing a dexterity and precision that always made Lady Temple pleased to have him on her side, and exclaim with delight at his hits as a public benefit to the cause, or thank him with real gratitude when he croqued her or one of her sons out of a difficulty.
Everyone knows how the afternoon croquet match on the Myrtlewood Lawn became a tradition, even though the crowd of spectators varied due to the demands of visits, rides, and Ermine Williams’s drive, which Lady Temple ensured happened at least twice a week. The most dedicated players were, of course, the two older boys, while the next pair only joined occasionally as a special favor. However, their mother’s enthusiasm surpassed even Bessie Keith’s, and it was always disappointing for her if she couldn’t play. Grace and Alison Williams often joined in with enjoyment, though not with the same level of commitment, and both civilian and military visitors frequently participated as well. Yet, the most passionate of all was Mr. Touchett. Ever since that visit when Miss Keith, frustrated with his shy attempts at conversation and inability to leave, exclaimed, “Have you ever played croquet? Come along, and we’ll teach you,” he had become its most eager student. The initial lessons led to a schedule for more, and one match after another, the curate was becoming just as regular a croquet player as Conrade himself—quiet but always present—and he displayed a skill and accuracy that made Lady Temple happy to have him on her team, often exclaiming in delight at his successful shots as a victory for their side or genuinely thanking him when he helped her or one of her sons out of a tricky situation.
Indeed that little lawn at Myrtlewood was a battle-field, of which Alison used to carry her sister amusing and characteristic sketches. The two leading players were Miss Keith and Mr. Touchett, who alone had any idea of tactics; but what she did by intuition, sleight of hand or experience, he effected by calculation and generalship, and even when Conrade claimed the command of his own side, the suggestions of the curate really guided the party. Conrade was a sort of Murat on the croquet field, bold, dashing, often making wonderful hits, but uncertain, and only gradually learning to act in combination. Alison was a sure-handed, skilful hitter, but did not aspire to leadership. Mamma tried to do whatever her boys commanded, and often did it by a sort of dainty dexterity, when her exultation, was a very pretty sight, nor was Grace’s lady-like skill contemptible, but having Francis as an ally was like giving a castle; and he was always placed on the other side from Conrade, as it was quite certain that he would do the very reverse of whatever his brother advised. Now and then invitations were given for Rose Williams to join the game, but her aunts never accepted them. Ermine had long ago made up her mind against intimacies between her niece and any pupils of Alison’s, sure that though starts of pleasure might result, they would be at the cost of ruffling, and, perhaps, perturbing the child’s even stream of happiness—even girl-friendships might have been of doubtful effect where circumstances were so unequal; but Lady Temple’s household of boys appeared to Ermine by no means a desirable sphere for her child to be either teased or courted in. Violetta, Colinette, and Augustus were safer comrades, and Rose continued to find them sufficient, varied with the rare delight of now and then sharing her aunt’s drive, and brightened by many a kind message in Colonel Keith’s letters to her aunt, nay, occasionally a small letter to herself, or an enclosure of some pretty photograph for her much-loved scrap book, or some article for Colinette’s use, sometimes even a new book! She was never forgotten in his letters, and Ermine smiled her strange pensive smile of amusement at his wooing of the unconscious Rose.
Indeed, that little lawn at Myrtlewood was like a battlefield, where Alison used to bring her sister entertaining and unique sketches. The main players were Miss Keith and Mr. Touchett, who were the only ones with any tactical sense; what she did through intuition, skill, or experience, he accomplished through planning and strategy. Even when Conrade took charge of his team, the curate's suggestions really directed the group. Conrade was a sort of Murat on the croquet field—bold and flashy, making impressive shots but inconsistent, gradually learning how to work with the team. Alison was a precise and skillful player, but she didn’t seek to lead. Mom tried to follow whatever her boys commanded, often doing it with a delicate skill that made her joy quite lovely to see. Grace’s graceful skill wasn’t to be underestimated either, but having Francis as an ally was like handing over a fortress, as he was always placed on the opposite side from Conrade, knowing he would do the exact opposite of whatever his brother suggested. Occasionally, invitations were extended for Rose Williams to join the game, but her aunts always turned them down. Ermine had long ago decided against any close friendships between her niece and Alison’s students, convinced that while there might be moments of joy, they would come at the cost of upsetting the child’s steady happiness—even friendships among girls could be questionable where the circumstances were so uneven. Lady Temple’s rowdy group of boys certainly didn’t seem like a good environment for her child to be teased or pursued. Violetta, Colinette, and Augustus were safer friends, and Rose continued to find them enough, along with the rare joy of sometimes sharing her aunt’s outings, brightened by many thoughtful messages in Colonel Keith’s letters to her aunt, and occasionally a small letter to herself, a pretty photo for her beloved scrapbook, or something useful for Colinette, sometimes even a new book! She was always remembered in his letters, and Ermine smiled her unique, thoughtful smile of amusement at his courtship of the unaware Rose.
CHAPTER X. THE PHILANTHROPIST.
“Scorn not the smallness of daily endeavour, Let the great meaning ennoble it ever, Droop not o’er efforts expended in vain, Work, as believing, that labour is gain.” Queen Isabel, &c. by S. M.
“Don't underestimate the importance of daily efforts, Let the deeper meaning uplift them always, Don’t be disheartened by efforts that seem wasted, Work, believing that hard work pays off.” Queen Isabel, &c. by S. M.
The sturdy recusant against Myrtlewood croquet continued to be Rachel Curtis, and yet it was not a testimony against the game so much as real want of time for it. She was always full of occupation, even while her active mind craved for more definite and extended labour; and when she came upon the field of strategy, it was always either with some business before her, or else so late that the champions were only assisting their several lags to bring the battle to an end.
The strong opponent of Myrtlewood croquet remained Rachel Curtis, but it wasn’t so much a protest against the game as it was a genuine lack of time for it. She was constantly busy, even though her active mind yearned for more meaningful and expansive work. When she did find time to engage in the strategy of the game, it was usually either because she had some task to tackle or it was so late that the champions were just helping their lagging teammates wrap up the match.
If there had been a will there would have been a way, but, as she said, she saw enough to perceive that proficiency could only be attained at the cost of much time and study, and she did not choose to be inferior and mediocre. Also, she found occupations open to her elsewhere that had long been closed or rendered unpleasant. Mr. Touchett had become wonderfully pacific and obliging of late, as if the lawn tactics absorbed his propensities for offence and defence, he really seemed obliged for one or two bits of parish work that she attended to; finding that between him and his staff of young ladies they were getting omitted. Somehow, too, an unaccountable blight was passing over the activity of those curatolatresses, as Rachel had been wont to call them; they were less frequently to be met with popping out of the schools and cottages, and Rachel, who knew well all the real poor, though refusing the bonds of a district, was continually detecting omissions which she more often supplied than reported. There was even a smaller sprinkling at the weekly services, and the odd thing was that the curate never seemed to remark or be distressed by the change, or if any one spoke of the thin congregation he would say, winter was the Avonmouth season, which was true enough, but the defaulters were mostly his own peculiar followers, the female youth of the professional and mercantile population.
If there had been a will, there would have been a way, but, as she said, she realized enough to understand that skill could only be gained at the expense of a lot of time and study, and she didn’t want to settle for being average and mediocre. Also, she found opportunities available to her elsewhere that had long been closed off or made unpleasant. Mr. Touchett had recently become remarkably calm and accommodating, as if focusing on lawn care had absorbed his tendencies for offense and defense; he genuinely seemed grateful for the few bits of parish work she took on, noticing that between him and his team of young ladies, they were getting overlooked. Strangely, there was an inexplicable decline affecting those curatolatresses, as Rachel used to call them; they were seen less often coming out of the schools and cottages. Rachel, who knew all the actual poor despite refusing the responsibilities of a district, constantly noticed things that were missing, and she often filled those gaps more than reported them. There was also a smaller turnout at the weekly services, and oddly, the curate never seemed to notice or be bothered by the change; if anyone mentioned the sparse congregation, he would say winter was the Avonmouth season, which was certainly true, but most of the absentees were his own regular followers, the young women from the professional and commercial community.
Rachel did not trouble herself about the cause of all this, indeed she was too much occupied with the gradual gliding into somewhat of her original activity and importance in the field thus left open to her. None the less, however, did she feel the burden of life’s problems; the intercourse she had enjoyed with Colonel Keith had excited her for a time, but in the reaction, the old feelings returned painfully that the times were out of joint; the heavens above became obscure and misty as before, the dark places of the earth looked darker than ever, and those who lived at ease seemed to be employed either in sport upon the outside of the dungeon where the captives groaned, or in obstructing the way of those who would fain have plunged in to the rescue.
Rachel didn’t concern herself with the reason behind all this; she was too busy getting back into her original routine and importance in the opportunity that had opened up for her. Still, she couldn’t shake off the weight of life’s challenges; her interaction with Colonel Keith had inspired her for a while, but afterward, the old feelings returned painfully, reminding her that everything was out of sync. The sky above turned dark and cloudy like before, the dark places on earth seemed darker than ever, and those living comfortably appeared to either be enjoying themselves outside the dungeon where the captives suffered or blocking the path of those who wanted to rush in to help.
Her new acquaintance, Mr. Mauleverer, was an example of such prevention, which weighed much on her mind. He had been perfectly unobtrusive, but Mrs. Curtis meeting him on the second day of his sketching, had naturally looked at his drawing, and admired it so much that she brought her daughters to see it when in course of completion the next day. He had then asked whether there would be any objection to his making use of the sketches in the way of remunerative sale. Mrs. Curtis looked rather taken aback, it hardly agreed with her exclusive notions of privacy, and he at once apologized with such humility that she was touched, and felt herself doing him a wrong, whilst Rachel was angry at her scruple, yet uncomfortably thought of “that landscape painter,” then said in her decided way, “you did not mean to object, mother?”
Her new acquaintance, Mr. Mauleverer, was a clear example of something that troubled her a lot. He had been completely unassuming, but when Mrs. Curtis came across him on the second day of his sketching, she naturally looked at his drawing and admired it so much that she brought her daughters to see it as he was finishing up the next day. He then asked if there would be any issue with him using the sketches for sale. Mrs. Curtis looked a bit surprised; it didn’t quite align with her exclusive ideas about privacy. He immediately apologized with such humility that it touched her, making her feel like she was being unfair to him, while Rachel felt angry at her hesitation but also couldn’t help but think about “that landscape painter.” She then firmly said, “You didn't mean to object, did you, Mom?”
“Oh, not for a moment, pray don’t think of it,” returned Mr. Mauleverer, in haste. “I would not think of the intrusion. It is only that these poor trifles are steps to one of the few means by which I can still hope to do even a little for my fellow creatures; the greatest solace that remains to me.”
“Oh, not for a second, please don’t think that,” Mr. Mauleverer replied quickly. “I wouldn’t consider it an intrusion at all. It’s just that these small things are a way for me to do even a little for others; it’s the greatest comfort I have left.”
“My mother did not mean to prevent anything,” said Rachel eagerly; “least of all any means of doing good.”
“My mom didn’t mean to stop anything,” Rachel said eagerly; “especially not any way of doing good.”
“Indeed, I cannot but be aware that Miss Curtis is the last individual who would do so, except indeed by the good works she herself absorbs.”
“Honestly, I can’t help but realize that Miss Curtis is the last person who would do that, except for the good things she takes in herself.”
“You are too good, sir,” returned Mrs. Curtis; “I am sure I did not mean to object to anything for good. If it is for a charity, I am sure some of our friends would be very glad to take some sketches of our scenery; they have been begging me this long time to have it photographed. I should like to have that drawing myself, it would please your aunt so much, my dear, if we sent it to her.”
“You're too kind, sir,” Mrs. Curtis replied. “I definitely didn’t mean to object to anything good. If it's for charity, I’m sure some of our friends would be more than happy to take some sketches of our scenery; they’ve been asking me for a while now to have it photographed. I would love to have that drawing myself; it would really make your aunt happy if we sent it to her.”
Mr. Mauleverer bowed, but Rachel was not sure whether he had not been insulted.
Mr. Mauleverer bowed, but Rachel couldn't tell if he had been insulted.
Next day he left at the door the drawing handsomely mounted, and looking so grand and meritorious that poor Mrs. Curtis became much troubled in mind whether its proper price might not be five or even ten guineas, instead of the one for which she had mentally bargained, or if this might not be the beginning of a series; “which would be quite another thing, you know, my dear.”
Next day, he left the drawing at the door, nicely framed and looking so impressive that poor Mrs. Curtis became very worried about whether its actual price might be five or even ten guineas, instead of the one she had mentally agreed on, or if this might be the start of a series; “which would be totally different, you know, my dear.”
Rachel offered to go and talk to the artist, who was sketching in full view from the windows, and find out what value he set upon it.
Rachel offered to go talk to the artist, who was sketching in plain sight from the windows, and find out how much he thought it was worth.
“Perhaps, but I don’t know, my dear. Won’t it be odd? Had you not better wait till Grace comes in, or till I can come down with you?”
“Maybe, but I’m not sure, my dear. Won’t it be strange? Wouldn’t it be better to wait until Grace comes in, or until I can come down with you?”
“No need at all, mother, I can do it much better alone, and at my age—”
“No need at all, mom, I can do it way better on my own, and at my age—”
So Rachel took a parasol and stepped out, looked at the outline newly produced, thanked and praised the drawing that had been received, adding that her mother would be glad to know what price Mr. Mauleverer set upon it. She was met by a profession of ignorance of its value, and of readiness to be contented with whatever might be conferred upon his project; the one way in which he still hoped to be of service to his fellow creatures, the one longing of his life.
So Rachel grabbed a parasol and stepped outside, looked at the new outline, thanked and praised the drawing that she had received, adding that her mother would be happy to know what price Mr. Mauleverer placed on it. He responded that he had no idea of its value and was ready to be satisfied with whatever could be given to his project; the only way he still hoped to help his fellow beings, the one desire of his life.
“Ah!” said Rachel, greatly delighted with this congenial spirit, and as usual preferring the affirmative to the interrogative. “I heard you had been interesting yourself about Mrs Kelland’s lace school. What a miserable system it is!”
“Ah!” said Rachel, really happy with this friendly vibe, and as usual, choosing to affirm rather than question. “I heard you’ve been looking into Mrs. Kelland’s lace school. What a terrible system it is!”
“My inquiries have betrayed me then? It is indeed a trying spectacle.”
“My questions have let me down then? It really is a frustrating sight.”
“And to be helpless to alleviate it,” continued Rachel. “Over work, low prices and middle-men perfectly batten on the lives of our poor girls here. I have thought it over again and again, and it is a constant burden on my mind.”
“And to be unable to do anything about it,” Rachel went on. “Too much work, low prices, and middlemen are completely exploiting the lives of our poor girls here. I've thought about it time and time again, and it weighs heavily on my mind.”
“Yes, indeed. The effects of modern civilization are a constant burden on the compassion of every highly constituted nature.”
“Yes, absolutely. The impact of modern society is a constant strain on the empathy of anyone with a sensitive nature.”
“The only means that seems to me likely to mitigate the evil,” continued Rachel, charmed at having the most patient listener who had ever fallen to her lot, “would be to commence an establishment where some fresh trades might be taught, so as to lessen the glut of the market, and to remove the workers that are forced to undersell one another, and thus oblige the buyers to give a fairly remunerative price.”
“The only way I think we can really address the problem,” Rachel continued, pleased to have the most patient listener she could hope for, “is to start a program where we can teach some new trades. This would help reduce the oversupply in the market and keep workers from underpricing each other, which would encourage buyers to pay a reasonable price.”
“Precisely my own views. To commence an establishment that would drain off the superfluous labour, and relieve the oppressed, raising the whole tone of female employment.”
“Exactly my own thoughts. To start an organization that would eliminate the excess labor and support those who are struggling, improving the overall quality of women’s work.”
“And this is the project you meant?”
“And this is the project you were talking about?”
“And in which, for the first time, I begin to hope for success, if it can only receive the patronage of some person of influence.”
“And in which, for the first time, I start to feel hopeful about success, if it just gets the support of someone influential.”
“Oh, anything I can do!” exclaimed Rachel, infinitely rejoiced. “It is the very thing I have been longing for for years. What, you would form a sort of industrial school, where the children could be taught some remunerative labour, and it might soon be almost self-supporting?”
“Oh, anything I can do!” Rachel exclaimed, filled with joy. “This is exactly what I’ve been wishing for all these years. You want to create an industrial school where the kids can learn some useful skills, and it could soon be nearly self-sustaining?”
“Exactly; the first establishment is the difficulty, for which I have been endeavouring to put a few mites together.”
“Exactly; the first step is the hardest, which is why I’ve been trying to save a little money.”
“Every one would subscribe for such a purpose!” exclaimed Rachel.
“Everyone would sign up for something like that!” exclaimed Rachel.
“You speak from your own generous nature, Miss Curtis; but the world would require patronesses to recommend.”
“You're speaking from your kind heart, Miss Curtis, but the world needs sponsors to make recommendations.”
“There could be no difficulty about that!” exclaimed Rachel; but at this moment she saw the Myrtlewood pony carriage coming to the door, and remembering that she had undertaken to drive out Ermine Williams in it, she was obliged to break off the conversation, with an eager entreaty that Mr. Mauleverer would draw up an account of his plan, and bring it to her the next day, when she would give her opinion on it, and consider of the means.
“There shouldn’t be any problem with that!” Rachel said excitedly; but just then she noticed the Myrtlewood pony carriage arriving at the door. Remembering that she had promised to take Ermine Williams out in it, she had to cut off the conversation. She eagerly asked Mr. Mauleverer to write up an outline of his plan and bring it to her the next day, when she would share her thoughts on it and think about the next steps.
“My dear,” said her mother, on her return, “how long you have been; and what am I to give for the water-colour?”
“My dear,” said her mother when she came back, “you’ve been gone so long; what should I offer for the watercolor?”
“Oh, I forgot all about the water-colour; but never mind what we give, mamma, it is all to go to an asylum for educating poor girls, and giving them some resource beyond that weary lace-making—the very thing I have always longed for. He is coming to settle it all with me to-morrow, and then we will arrange what to give.”
“Oh, I completely forgot about the watercolor; but it doesn't matter what we give, mom. It's all going to an organization that educates poor girls and gives them options beyond that exhausting lace-making—the very thing I’ve always wanted. He’s coming to sort everything out with me tomorrow, and then we’ll decide what to donate.”
“Indeed, my dear, I hope it will be something well managed. I think if it were not for those middle-men, lace-making would not be so bad. But you must not keep poor Miss Williams waiting.”
“Absolutely, my dear, I hope it’s all handled well. I believe if it weren't for those middlemen, lace-making wouldn't be so difficult. But you shouldn't keep poor Miss Williams waiting.”
Ermine had never seen Rachael in such high spirits as when they set out through the network of lanes, describing her own exceeding delight in the door thus opening for the relief of the suffering over which she had long grieved, and launching out into the details of the future good that was to be achieved. At last Ermine asked what Rachel knew of the proposer.
Ermine had never seen Rachael so cheerful as when they walked through the winding lanes, expressing her immense joy about the opportunity to help those suffering whom she had long worried about, and diving into the details of the positive changes that were going to happen. Finally, Ermine asked what Rachael knew about the person who proposed it.
“Captain Keith, heard he was a distinguished professor and essayist.”
“Captain Keith, I heard he was a respected professor and essayist.”
“Then I wonder we have not heard his name,” said Ermine. “It is a remarkable one; one might look in the ‘Clergy List’ at Villars’s.”
“Then I wonder why we haven’t heard his name,” said Ermine. “It’s quite a remarkable name; you could check the ‘Clergy List’ at Villars’s.”
“Villars called him a clerical gentleman,” mused Rachel.
“Villars called him a church gentleman,” thought Rachel.
“Then you would be sure to be able to find out something about him before committing yourself.”
“Then you’d definitely be able to learn something about him before getting involved.”
“I can see what he is,” said Rachel, “a very sensible, accomplished man, and a great deal more; not exactly a finished gentleman. But that is no objection to his doing a great work.”
“I can see what he is,” said Rachel, “a very sensible, accomplished guy, and a lot more; not exactly a refined gentleman. But that doesn’t stop him from doing great work.”
“None at all,” said Ermine, smiling; “but please forgive me. We have suffered so much from trusting too implicitly, that I never can think it safe to be satisfied without thorough knowledge of a person’s antecedents.”
“None at all,” said Ermine, smiling; “but please forgive me. We’ve suffered so much from trusting too easily that I can never feel safe being satisfied without knowing a person’s background thoroughly.”
“Of course,” said Rachel, “I shall do nothing without inquiry. I will find out all about him, but I cannot see any opening for distrust. Schemes of charity are not compatible with self-seeking and dishonesty.”
“Of course,” said Rachel, “I won’t do anything without looking into it first. I’ll find out everything about him, but I can’t see any reason to be suspicious. Charity projects don’t go hand in hand with selfishness and dishonesty.”
“But did I not hear something about opinions?”
“But didn’t I hear something about opinions?”
“Oh, as to that, it was only Villars. Besides, you are a clergyman’s daughter, and your views have a different colouring from mine. Modern research has introduced so many variations of thought, that no good work would be done at all if we required of our fellow-labourers perfect similarity of speculative belief.”
“Oh, it was just Villars. Besides, you’re a clergyman’s daughter, and your perspectives are different from mine. Modern research has brought in so many different ideas that no meaningful work would get done if we expected our colleagues to have the same beliefs.”
“Yet suppose he undertook to teach others?”
“Still, what if he decided to teach others?”
“The simple outlines of universal doctrine and morality which are required by poor children are not affected by the variations to which investigation conducts minds of more scope.”
“The basic principles of universal teachings and ethics needed by underprivileged children remain unchanged despite the different perspectives that research brings to broader minds.”
“I am afraid such variations may often reach the foundation.”
“I’m afraid those variations might often undermine the foundation.”
“Now, Miss Williams, I am sure you must often have heard it observed how when it comes to real practical simple teaching of uninstructed people, villagers or may be heathens, the details of party difference melt away, and people find themselves in accordance.”
“Now, Miss Williams, I’m sure you’ve often heard people say that when it comes to actually teaching uneducated folks, whether they’re villagers or perhaps even heathens, the specifics of political differences fade away, and everyone ends up on the same page.”
“True, but there I think party differences in the Church, and even the variations between Christian sects are concerned, both being different ways of viewing the same truth. These may, like the knights in the old fable, find that both were right about the shield, both have the same foundation. But where the foundation is not the same, the results of the teaching will not agree.”
“True, but I believe that the differences within the Church and among Christian denominations represent different ways of understanding the same truth. Like the knights in the old fable, they may realize that both are correct about the shield and share the same foundation. However, when the foundation is not the same, the outcomes of their teachings will not align.”
“Every one agrees as to morality.”
"Everyone agrees on ethics."
“Yes, but do all give a motive sufficient to enforce the self-denial that morality entails? Nay, do they show the way to the spiritual strength needful to the very power of being moral?”
“Yes, but do they all provide enough reasons to uphold the self-control that morality requires? Or do they reveal the spiritual strength necessary for truly being moral?”
“That is begging the question. The full argument is whether the full church, say Christian system, exactly as you, as we hold it, is needful to the perfection of moral observance. I don’t say whether I assent, but the present question is whether the child’s present belief and practice need be affected by its teacher’s dogmatic or undogmatic system.”
"That is raising a question. The whole argument is whether the entire church, like the Christian system we adhere to, is essential for the complete moral practice. I’m not saying whether I agree, but the current question is whether the child's belief and actions should be influenced by their teacher’s strict or flexible beliefs."
“The system for life is generally formed in childhood. Harvest depends on seed time.”
“The way we live our lives is mostly shaped in childhood. What we get out of it depends on what we put in early on.”
“And after all,” added Rachel, “we have no notion whether this poor man be not precisely of your own opinions, and from their fruits I am sure you ought to claim them.”
“And after all,” Rachel added, “we have no idea whether this poor man shares your opinions, and based on their outcomes, I’m sure you should take ownership of them.”
“Their blossoms if you please,” laughed Ermine. “We have not seen their fruits yet.”
“Their blossoms, if you please,” laughed Ermine. “We haven’t seen their fruits yet.”
“And I shall take care the fruits are not nipped with the blight of suspicion,” said Rachel, good-humouredly.
“And I’ll make sure the fruits aren’t affected by the blight of suspicion,” said Rachel, with a smile.
However, after driving Ermine home, and seeing her lifted out and carried into the house by her sister, Rachel did send the carriage back by the groom and betake herself to Villars’s shop, where she asked for a sight of the “Clergy List.” The name of Mauleverer caught her eye, but only one instance of it appeared, and he was a cathedral canon, his presentation dated in 1832, the time at which, judging from appearances, the object of her search might have been born; besides, he rejoiced in the simple name of Thomas. But Rachel’s search was brought to an abrupt conclusion by the issue of Mr. Mauleverer himself from the reading-room within the shop. He bowed and passed by, but Rachel for the life of her could not hinder a burning colour from spreading to the very tips of her ears; so certain did she feel that she was insulting him by her researches, and that he perceived them. She felt absolutely ashamed to see him the next day, and even in her dreams was revolving speeches that might prove that though cautious and clear-sighted, she was neither suspicious nor narrow-minded.
However, after she drove Ermine home and watched her sister carry her into the house, Rachel sent the carriage back with the groom and went to Villars’s shop, where she asked to see the “Clergy List.” The name Mauleverer caught her attention, but it only appeared once, identifying him as a cathedral canon with a presentation date of 1832, around the time when, judging by appearances, the person she was looking for might have been born; plus, he had the simple name of Thomas. But Rachel's search was abruptly interrupted when Mr. Mauleverer himself walked out of the reading room inside the shop. He nodded at her as he passed, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop her face from turning bright red; she felt certain that her investigation was insulting to him and that he sensed it. She was completely embarrassed at the thought of seeing him the next day and even in her dreams was rehearsing lines that would show that, although cautious and clear-headed, she wasn’t suspicious or narrow-minded.
He came when some morning visitors were at the Homestead, prosy neighbours whose calls were always a penance to Rachel, and the butler, either from the manner of the inquiry or not regarding him as drawing-room company, put him into the dining-room and announced, “Mr. Mauleverer to see Miss Rachel.” Up jumped Miss Rachel, with “You’ll excuse me, it is on business;” and went off highly satisfied that “the mother” was hindered by politeness from making any attempt at chaperonage either personally or through Grace, so unnecessary at her age, for since Colonel Keith’s departure, Rachel’s age had begun to grow on her again. She held out her hand as if to atone for her search, but she found at once that it had been remarked.
He arrived while some morning visitors were at the Homestead, boring neighbors whose visits were always a bother to Rachel. The butler, either noticing the type of inquiry or thinking he wasn't suitable for the drawing-room, led him to the dining room and announced, “Mr. Mauleverer to see Miss Rachel.” Miss Rachel jumped up, saying, “Excuse me, it’s about business,” and left feeling quite pleased that “the mother” was held back by politeness from trying to chaperone her, either directly or through Grace, which was unnecessary at her age. Ever since Colonel Keith's departure, Rachel had begun to feel her age again. She extended her hand as if to make up for her search, but immediately realized that it had already been noticed.
“You were doing me the honour to look for my name in the ‘Clergy List,’ Miss Curtis,” he said.
“You were doing me the honor of searching for my name in the ‘Clergy List,’ Miss Curtis,” he said.
“Yes, one is apt—,” faltered Rachel, decidedly out of countenance.
“Yes, one is likely—,” faltered Rachel, clearly flustered.
“I quite appreciate the motive. It is exactly in accord with Miss Curtis’s prudence and good sense. I should wish to be fully explicit before any arrangements are made. I am unhappily not in orders, Miss Curtis. I know your liberality will regard the cause with leniency.”
“I really appreciate the intention. It’s perfectly in line with Miss Curtis’s practicality and good judgment. I’d like to be completely clear before any plans are made. Unfortunately, I’m not in a position to help, Miss Curtis. I know your generosity will view the situation with understanding.”
“Indeed,” said Rachel, sufficiently restored to recall one of her premeditated reassurances. “I can fully appreciate any reluctance to become stringently bound to dogmatic enunciations, before the full powers of the intellect have examined into them.”
“Definitely,” said Rachel, feeling better and remembering one of her planned reassurances. “I totally understand any hesitation to become strictly tied to dogmatic statements before the full capabilities of the mind have looked into them.”
“You have expressed it exactly, Miss Curtis. Without denying an iota of them, I may be allowed to regret that our formularies are too technical for a thoughtful mind in the present age.”
“You're absolutely right, Miss Curtis. While I don’t want to dismiss any of it, I have to say I wish our formulas weren't so technical for a reflective mind in today’s world.”
“Many have found it so,” returned Rachel, thoughtfully, “who only needed patience to permit their convictions to ripen. Then I understand you, it was a rejection on negative not positive grounds?”
“Many have felt that way,” Rachel replied, thoughtfully, “who just needed patience to let their beliefs develop. So I get you; it was a rejection based on negative rather than positive reasons?”
“Precisely; I do not murmur, but it has been the blight of my life.”
“Exactly; I don’t complain, but it has been the curse of my life.”
“And yet,” said Rachel, consolingly, “it may enable you to work with more freedom.”
“And yet,” Rachel said reassuringly, “it might allow you to work with more freedom.”
“Since you encourage me to believe so, Miss Curtis, I will hope it, but I have met with much suspicion.”
“Since you want me to believe that, Miss Curtis, I will hope for it, but I’ve faced a lot of suspicion.”
“I can well believe it,” said Rachel; “even some of the most superior persons refuse to lay their hands to any task unless they are certified of the religious opinions of their coadjutors, which seems to me like a mason’s refusing to work at a wall with a man who liked Greek architecture when he preferred Gothic!”
“I can totally see that,” said Rachel; “even some really impressive people won’t join in on any task unless they know the religious beliefs of their teammates, which seems to me like a mason refusing to work on a wall with someone who likes Greek architecture when he prefers Gothic!”
If Rachel had been talking to Ermine she might have been asked whether the dissimilarity might not be in the foundations, or in the tempering of the mortar, but Mr. Mauleverer only commended her liberal spirit, and she thought it high time to turn from this subject to the immediate one in hand. He had wished to discuss the plan with her, he said, before drawing it up, and in effect she had cogitated so much upon it that her ideas came forth with more than her usual fluency and sententiousness. The scheme was that an asylum should be opened under the superintendence of Mr. Mauleverer himself, in which young girls might be placed to learn handicrafts that might secure their livelihood, in especial, perhaps, wood engraving and printing. It might even be possible, in time, to render the whole self-supporting, suppose by the publication of a little illustrated periodical, the materials for which might be supplied by those interested in the institution.
If Rachel had been talking to Ermine, she might have been asked whether the differences lay in the foundation or the mixing of the mortar, but Mr. Mauleverer only praised her open-minded approach, and she thought it was time to shift the conversation to the topic at hand. He wanted to go over the plan with her before finalizing it, and she had thought about it so much that her ideas flowed more freely than usual. The plan was to open an asylum under Mr. Mauleverer’s supervision, where young girls could learn trades to support themselves, particularly in wood engraving and printing. It might even be possible over time to make the whole operation self-sustaining, perhaps by publishing a little illustrated magazine, with content provided by those who supported the cause.
If anything could add to Rachel’s delight it was this last proposition. In all truth and candour, the relief to the victims to lace-making was her primary object, far before all besides, and the longing desire of her heart for years seemed about to be fulfilled; but a domestic magazine, an outlet to all the essays on Curatocult, on Helplessness, on Female Folly, and Female Rights, was a development of the plan beyond her wildest hopes! No dull editor to hamper, reject or curtail! She should be as happy, and as well able to expand as the Invalid herself.
If anything could make Rachel happier, it was this last idea. To be completely honest, helping the victims of lace-making was her main goal, above everything else, and the deep wish she had held for years seemed about to come true; but a domestic magazine, a platform for all the essays on Curatocult, on Helplessness, on Female Folly, and Women's Rights, was an expansion of the plan that exceeded her wildest dreams! No boring editor would hinder, reject, or limit her! She would be as happy and as free to grow as the Invalid herself.
Mr. Mauleverer had brought a large packet of letters with him, in all manner of hands. There were some testimonials from a German university, and letters from German professors in a compromise between English and German hand, looking impossible to read, also the neat writing and thin wavy water-marked paper of American professors and philanthropists in high commendation of his ability and his scheme, and a few others that he said were of too private a nature to do more than show Miss Curtis in confidence, but on which she recognised some distinguished names of persons interested in Social Science. She would not wound his feelings by too close an inquiry, but she felt armed at all points against cavillers. Really, she began to think, it was a great pity Colonel Keith should cross her path again, she had so much on her hands that it would be a public misfortune if any one man’s private domestic love should monopolize her; and yet, such was this foolish world, the Honourable Mrs. Colin Keith would be a more esteemed lady patroness than Miss Rachel Curtis, though the Curtises had been lords of the soil for many generations, and Colonel Keith was a mere soldier of fortune.
Mr. Mauleverer had brought a big pack of letters with him, each written in different styles. There were some recommendations from a German university and letters from German professors in a mix of English and German handwriting that looked nearly impossible to read. There were also neat notes written on thin, wavy watermarked paper from American professors and philanthropists praising his abilities and his plans, along with a few others that he claimed were too private to discuss openly but showed Miss Curtis in confidence. She recognized some notable names of people interested in Social Science on those letters. She didn't want to hurt his feelings by prying too much, but she felt completely prepared to defend herself against any critics. She really started to think it was unfortunate that Colonel Keith had to come back into her life. She had so much going on that it would be a real loss if one man's personal romantic interests took over her time; yet, such was the way of the world that the Honourable Mrs. Colin Keith would be seen as a more respected lady patron than Miss Rachel Curtis, even though the Curtises had owned the land for generations and Colonel Keith was just a soldier looking for his fortune.
One disappointment Rachel had, namely, that Mr. Mauleverer announced that he was about to return to St. Herbert’s, the very large and fashionable watering-place in the next indentation of the coast. He had duties there, he said, and he had only come to Avonmouth for a brief holiday, a holiday that was to result in such happy effects. He lived in an exceedingly retired way, he said, being desirous of saving his small private means for his great object, and he gave Rachel his address at the chief printseller’s of the place, where his letters were left for him, while he made excursions from time to time to study the picturesque, and to give lectures on behalf of philanthropical subjects. He offered such a lecture at Avonmouth, but Mr. Touchett would not lend either school-room, and space was nowhere else available. In the meantime a prospectus was drawn up, which Rachel undertook to get printed at Villars’s, and to send about to all her friends, since a subscription in hand was the first desideratum.
One disappointment Rachel had was that Mr. Mauleverer announced he was about to return to St. Herbert’s, the large and trendy resort down the coast. He said he had responsibilities there and had only come to Avonmouth for a short holiday, a holiday that was supposed to yield such positive outcomes. He lived a very secluded life, he said, wanting to save his limited personal funds for his main goal. He gave Rachel his address at the main printseller in town, where his letters were held for him, while he occasionally took trips to study scenic spots and give lectures on charitable topics. He offered to give such a lecture in Avonmouth, but Mr. Touchett wouldn’t let him use either schoolroom, and no other space was available. In the meantime, a prospectus was created, which Rachel agreed to have printed at Villars's and to distribute to all her friends, as having a subscription ready was the first priority.
Never since she had grown up to be a thinking woman had Rachel been so happy as with this outlet to her activity and powers of managing, “the good time coming at last.” Eagerly she claimed sympathy, names and subscriptions. Her own immediate circle was always easily under her influence, and Lady Temple, and Mrs. Curtis supplied the dignity of lady patronesses; Bessie Keith was immensely diverted at the development of “that landscape painter,” and took every opportunity of impressing on Rachel that all was the result of her summons to the rescue. Ermine wished Rachel had found out who was the bishop’s chaplain who rejected him, but allowed that it would have been an awkward question to ask, and also she wondered if he were a university man; but Mr. Touchett had been at a Hall, and never knew anybody, besides being so firmly convinced that Mr. Mauleverer was a pestiferous heretic, that no one, except Lady Temple, could have obtained a patient answer from him on that head—and even with her he went the length of a regret that she had given the sanction of her name to an undertaking by a person of whose history and principles nothing satisfactory was known. “Oh!” said Fanny, with her sweet look of asking pardon, “I am so sorry you think so; Rachel wished it so much, and it seems such a nice thing for the poor children.”
Never since she grew up to be a thoughtful woman had Rachel been as happy as with this chance to express her energy and skills in organizing, “the good time finally coming.” Eagerly, she sought support, names, and donations. Her own close circle was always easily under her influence, and Lady Temple and Mrs. Curtis provided the respectability of lady patrons; Bessie Keith was highly entertained by the emergence of “that landscape painter” and took every chance to remind Rachel that it was all due to her call for help. Ermine wished Rachel would find out who the bishop’s chaplain was that rejected him but agreed it would have been an awkward question to ask and also wondered if he was a university guy; however, Mr. Touchett had been at a Hall and didn’t know anyone, plus he was so convinced that Mr. Mauleverer was a dangerous heretic that no one, except Lady Temple, could have gotten a patient answer from him on that matter—and even with her, he expressed regret that she had supported an initiative by someone whose background and beliefs were totally unknown. “Oh!” said Fanny, with her sweet, apologetic look, “I’m so sorry you feel that way; Rachel wanted it so much, and it seems like such a great thing for the poor children.”
“Indeed,” said Mr. Touchett, well nigh disarmed by the look, “I am quite sensible of the kindness of all you do, I only ventured to wish there had been a little more delay, that we were more certain about this person.”
“Definitely,” said Mr. Touchett, almost taken aback by the look, “I really appreciate all the kindness you’re showing. I just wished there had been a bit more of a delay, so we could be more certain about this person.”
“When Colonel Keith comes back he will find out all about him, I am sure,” said Fanny, and Mr. Touchett, to whom seemed to have been transferred Rachel’s dislike to the constant quoting of Colonel Keith, said no more.
“Once Colonel Keith comes back, he’ll learn everything about him, I’m sure,” said Fanny, and Mr. Touchett, who seemed to have inherited Rachel’s annoyance with the constant mention of Colonel Keith, said nothing more.
The immediate neighbourhood did not very readily respond to the appeal to it in behalf of the lace-makers. People who did not look into the circumstances of their neighbours thought lace furnished a good trade, and by no means wished to enhance its price; people who did care for the poor had charities of their own, nor was Rachel Curtis popular enough to obtain support for her own sake; a few five-pound notes, and a scanty supply of guineas and half-guineas from people who were ready at any cost to buy off her vehement eyes and voice was all she could obtain, and with a subscription of twenty pounds each from her mother, Lady Temple, and Grace, and all that she could scrape together of her own, hardly seemed sufficient to meet the first expenses, and how would the future be provided for? She calculated how much she could spare out of her yearly income, and actually, to the great horror of her mother and the coachman, sold her horse.
The nearby community didn't respond well to the plea for help on behalf of the lace-makers. People who didn’t understand their neighbors’ situations thought lace was a profitable business and didn’t want to raise its prices; those who cared for the less fortunate had their own charities, and Rachel Curtis wasn’t popular enough to gain support just for being her. She managed to collect a few five-pound notes, along with a limited amount of guineas and half-guineas from those willing to pay just to quiet her passionate eyes and voice. With a £20 contribution each from her mother, Lady Temple, and Grace, plus whatever she could gather on her own, it barely seemed enough to cover the initial costs—what about the future? She figured out how much she could allocate from her annual income, and to the shock of her mother and the coachman, she ended up selling her horse.
Bessie Keith was the purchaser. It was an expense that she could quite afford, for she and her brother had been left very well off by their father—a prudent man, who, having been a widower during his Indian service, had been able to live inexpensively, besides having had a large amount of prize money. She had always had her own horse at Littleworthy, and now when Rachel was one day lamenting to her the difficulty of raising money for the Industrial Asylum, and declaring that she would part with her horse if she was sure of its falling into good hands, Bessie volunteered to buy it, it was exactly what would suit her, and she should delight in it as a reminder of dear Avonmouth. It was a pang, Rachel loved the pretty spirited creature, and thought of her rides with the Colonel; but how weigh the pleasure of riding against the welfare of one of those hard-worked, half-stifled little girls, and besides, it might be best to have done with Colonel Keith now that her mission had come to find her. So the coachman set a purposely unreasonable value upon poor Meg, and Rachel reduced the sum to what had been given for it three years before; but Bessie begged her brother to look at the animal and give his opinion.
Bessie Keith was the buyer. It was a cost she could easily cover since she and her brother had been left quite well-off by their father—a careful man who, having been a widower during his time in India, managed to live frugally and also had a significant amount of prize money. She had always owned a horse at Littleworthy, and one day when Rachel was expressing her frustration about raising funds for the Industrial Asylum and said she would sell her horse if she knew it would go to a good home, Bessie offered to buy it. It was just what she needed, and she would love it as a keepsake from dear Avonmouth. It was a tough decision; Rachel loved the beautiful, spirited creature and remembered her rides with the Colonel. But how could she choose her own pleasure over the well-being of one of those overworked, barely-there little girls? Plus, it might be best to move on from Colonel Keith now that her purpose had brought her here. So, the coachman set an unreasonably high price for poor Meg, and Rachel lowered it to what it had been when purchased three years ago; but Bessie asked her brother to inspect the horse and give his thoughts.
“Is that what you are after?” he exclaimed.
“Is that what you want?” he exclaimed.
“Indeed, Alick, I thought it was the greatest kindness I could do her; she is so very eager about this plan, and so anxious to find poor Meg a good home.”
“Honestly, Alick, I thought it was the most helpful thing I could do for her; she is so passionate about this plan and really wants to find a nice home for poor Meg.”
“Purely to oblige her?”
"Just to help her?"
“Of course, Alick, it was much more convenient to her than if she had had to send about to horse-dealers or to advertise. I doubt if she could have done it at all; and it is for her asylum, you know.”
“Of course, Alick, it was way more convenient for her than if she had to reach out to horse dealers or put up ads. I’m not sure she could have done it at all; and it’s for her asylum, you know.”
“Then give the coachman’s sixty guineas at once.”
“Then pay the coachman sixty guineas right away.”
“Ah, Alick, that’s your infatuation!” and she put on a droll gesture of pity. “But excuse me, where would be the fine edge of delicacy in giving a manifestly fancy price? Come and look at her.”
“Ah, Alick, that’s your obsession!” and she made a funny gesture of sympathy. “But excuse me, where’s the fine line of delicacy in giving an obviously inflated price? Come and see her.”
“I never meddle with horse-dealing.”
“I don’t get involved with horse trading.”
“Stuff, as if you weren’t the best-mounted man in the regiment. I shall send a note to Captain Sykes if you won’t; he knows how to drive a bargain.”
“Come on, like you aren’t the best-mounted person in the regiment. I’ll send a note to Captain Sykes if you won’t; he knows how to negotiate.”
“And give a fancy price the other way. Well, Bessie, on one condition I’ll go, and that is, that Meg goes to Bishopsworthy the day she is yours. I won’t have her eating Lady Temple’s corn, and giving her servants trouble.”
“And offer a fancy price the other way. Well, Bessie, I’ll go on one condition, and that is that Meg goes to Bishopsworthy the day she becomes yours. I won’t have her eating Lady Temple’s food and causing trouble for her servants.”
“As if I should think of such a thing.”
“As if I would think of something like that.”
Captain Keith’s estimate of the value of the steed precisely agreed with Rachel’s demand of the original price. Bessie laughed, and said there was collusion.
Captain Keith’s estimate of the horse's value matched perfectly with Rachel’s asking price. Bessie laughed and said there was collusion.
“Now seriously, Alick, do you think her worth so much? Isn’t it a pity, when you know what a humbug poor Rachel is going to give it to?” and she looked half comical, half saucy.
“Now seriously, Alick, do you really think she's worth that much? Isn’t it a shame, when you realize what a fraud poor Rachel is going to make of it?” and she looked half funny, half cheeky.
“If she were going to throw it into the sea, I don’t see what difference that would make.”
“If she’s going to throw it into the sea, I don’t see what difference that would make.”
“Ah! you are far too much interested. Nothing belonging to her can bear a vulgar price.”
“Ah! you care way too much. Nothing that belongs to her is worth a cheap price.”
“Nothing belonging to me is to gain profit by her self-denial,” said Alick, gravely. “You cannot do less than give her what she gave for it, if you enter on the transaction at all.”
“Nothing that’s mine should benefit from her self-sacrifice,” Alick said seriously. “You have to at least give her what she paid for it if you decide to go through with the deal.”
“You mean that it would look shabby. You see we womankind never quite know the code of the world on such matters,” she said, candidly.
“You mean it would look shabby. You see, we women never really know the rules of the world on these things,” she said, honestly.
“There is something that makes codes unnecessary, Bessie,” he said.
“There’s something that makes codes pointless, Bessie,” he said.
“Ah! I can make allowances. It is a cruel stroke. I don’t wonder you can’t bear to see any one else on her palfrey; above all as a sacrifice to the landscape painter.”
“Ah! I can understand. It’s a harsh blow. I’m not surprised you can’t stand to see anyone else on her horse; especially as a tribute to the landscape artist.”
“Then spare my feelings, and send the mare to Bishopsworthy,” said Alick, as usual too careless of the imputation to take the trouble to rebut it or to be disconcerted.
“Then consider my feelings and send the mare to Bishopsworthy,” said Alick, as usual too indifferent to the accusation to bother refuting it or to be bothered.
Bessie was much tickled at his acceptance, and laughed heartily.
Bessie was really amused by his acceptance and laughed out loud.
“To be sure,” she said, “it is past concealment now. You must have been very far gone, indeed, to have been taken in to suppose me to be making capital of her ‘charitable purposes.’”
“To be sure,” she said, “it’s obviously out in the open now. You must have been really naive to think I was benefiting from her ‘charitable purposes.’”
“Your acting is too like life,” he said, not yet induced to laugh, and she rattled on with her droll, sham sentimental air. “Is it the long words, Alick, or is it ‘the great eyes, my dear;’ or is it—oh, yes, I know what is the great attraction—that the Homestead doesn’t possess a single spot where one could play at croquet!”
“Your acting is too much like real life,” he said, not ready to laugh yet, and she continued with her quirky, fake sentimental tone. “Is it the long words, Alick, or is it ‘the big eyes, my dear;’ or is it—oh, yes, I know what the main draw is—that the Homestead doesn’t have a single place where you could play croquet!”
“Quite irresistible!” replied Alick, and Bessie retreated from the colloquy still not laughing at but with him; that is, if the odd, quaint, inward mirth which only visibly lengthened his sleepy eyes, could be called a laugh.
“Totally irresistible!” replied Alick, and Bessie stepped back from the conversation, not laughing at him but with him; that is, if the strange, quirky, inner amusement that only made his sleepy eyes look longer could be considered a laugh.
Next time Captain Keith rode to Avonmouth he met the riding party on the road, Bessie upon Rachel’s mare, and it appeared that Lady Temple had considered it so dreadful that Meg should not share her hospitality, that it had been quite impossible to send her away. “So, Alick, your feelings must endure the dreadful spectacle.”
Next time Captain Keith rode to Avonmouth, he ran into the riding group on the road. Bessie was on Rachel’s mare, and it seemed that Lady Temple had found it so awful that Meg wouldn't be able to enjoy her hospitality that it had been entirely impossible to send her away. “So, Alick, you'll just have to put up with the awful sight.”
Meanwhile Rachel was hard at work with the subscribers to the “Christian Knowledge Society.” Beginning with the A’s, and working down a page a day, she sent every member a statement of the wrongs of the lacemakers, and the plans of the industrial establishment, at a vast expense of stamps; but then, as she calculated, one pound thus gained paid for two hundred and forty fruitless letters.
Meanwhile, Rachel was busy reaching out to the subscribers of the “Christian Knowledge Society.” Starting with the A’s and going down a page each day, she sent every member a summary of the issues faced by the lacemakers and the plans for the industrial establishment, spending a lot on stamps. She figured that each pound she gained covered the cost of two hundred and forty unproductive letters.
“And pray,” said Alick, who had ridden on to call at the Homestead, “how do you reconcile yourself to the temptation to the postmen?”
“And seriously,” said Alick, who had ridden on to stop at the Homestead, “how do you deal with the temptation of the postmen?”
“They don’t see what my letters are about?”
“They don’t get what my letters are about?”
“They must be dull postmen if they don’t remark on the shower of envelopes that pass through their hands—ominous money-letters, all with the same address, and no detection remember. You don’t know who will answer and who will not.”
“They must be pretty boring postmen if they don't notice the flood of envelopes that come through their hands—menacing money letters, all with the same address and no return information. You never know who will respond and who won’t.”
“I never thought of that,” said Rachel; “but risks must be run when any great purpose is in hand.”
“I never thought about that,” Rachel said, “but you have to take risks when you’re pursuing something important.”
“The corruption of one postman versus the rescue of—how many children make a postman?” asked Captain Keith, with his grave, considering look.
“The corruption of one postman versus the rescue of—how many kids make a postman?” asked Captain Keith, with his serious, thoughtful expression.
“The postman would be corrupt already,” said Grace, as Rachel thought the last speech too mocking to be worthy of reply, and went on picking up her letters.
“The postman would already be corrupt,” Grace said, while Rachel found the last comment too mocking to respond to and continued sorting through her letters.
“There is another objection,” added Captain Keith, as he watched her busy fingers. “Have you considered how you are frightening people out of the society? It is enough to make one only subscribe as Michael Miserly or as Simon Skinflint, or something equally uninviting to applications.”
“There’s another concern,” Captain Keith added, watching her busy fingers. “Have you thought about how you’re driving people away from the society? It’s enough to make someone sign up as Michael Miserly or Simon Skinflint, or something just as off-putting for applications.”
“I shall ask you to subscribe by both names!” said Rachel, readily. “How much for Simon Skinflint?”
“I'll ask you to sign with both names!” said Rachel, eagerly. “How much for Simon Skinflint?”
“Ten pounds. Stop—when Mr. Mauleverer gives him a reference.”
“Ten pounds. Wait—when Mr. Mauleverer gives him a reference.”
“That’s ungenerous. Will Michael Miserly make up for it?”
"That's mean. Will Michael Miserly make up for it?"
“Yes, when the first year’s accounts have been audited.”
“Yes, after we’ve audited the first year’s accounts.”
“Ah! those who have no faith to make a venture can never effect any good.”
“Ah! Those who lack the courage to take a chance can never achieve anything good.”
“You evidently build on a great amount of faith from the public. How do you induce them to believe—do you write in your own name?”
“You clearly rely on a lot of public trust. How do you get them to believe—do you write under your own name?”
“No, it makes mamma unhappy. I was going to put R. C., but Grace said people would think it meant Roman Catholic. Your sister thought I had better put the initials of Female Union for Lacemaker’s Employment.”
“No, it makes Mom unhappy. I was going to put R. C., but Grace said people would think it meant Roman Catholic. Your sister thought I should put the initials of Female Union for Lacemaker's Employment.”
“You don’t mean that Bessie persuaded you to put that?” exclaimed Alick Keith, more nearly starting up than Rachel had ever seen him.
“You don’t mean that Bessie convinced you to put that in?” exclaimed Alick Keith, nearly jumping up like Rachel had never seen him do before.
“Yes. There is no objection, is there?”
“Yes. There’s no objection, right?”
“Oh, Rachel, Rachel, how could we have helped thinking of it?” cried Grace, nearly in a state of suffocation.
“Oh, Rachel, Rachel, how could we not have thought of it?” cried Grace, almost out of breath.
Rachel held up her printed appeal, where subscriptions were invited to the address of F. U. L. E., the Homestead, Avonmouth.
Rachel held up her printed appeal, inviting subscriptions to the address of F. U. L. E., the Homestead, Avonmouth.
“Miss Curtis, though you are not Scottish, you ought to be well read in Walter Scott.”
“Miss Curtis, even though you aren’t Scottish, you should be familiar with Walter Scott.”
“I have thought it waste of time to read incorrect pictures of pseudo-chivalry since I have been grown up,” said Rachel. “But that has nothing to do with it.”
“I’ve always thought it was a waste of time to read false accounts of fake chivalry since I grew up,” said Rachel. “But that’s not the point.”
“Ah, Rachel, if we had been more up in our Scotch, we should have known what F. U. L. E. spells,” sighed Grace.
“Ah, Rachel, if we had been more familiar with our Scotch, we would have known what F. U. L. E. spells,” sighed Grace.
A light broke in upon Rachel. “I am sure Bessie never could have recollected it,” was her first exclamation. “But there,” she continued, too earnest to see or stumble at straws, “never mind. It cannot be helped, and I dare say not one person in ten will be struck by it.”
A realization hit Rachel. “I’m sure Bessie could never have remembered it,” was her first reaction. “But there,” she went on, too focused to notice any minor details, “it doesn’t matter. It can’t be changed, and I bet not one person in ten will even notice it.”
“Stay,” said Grace, “let it be Englishwoman’s Employment. See, I can very easily alter the L into an E.”
“Stay,” said Grace, “let’s call it Englishwoman’s Employment. Look, I can easily change the L into an E.”
Rachel would hardly have consented, but was forced to yield to her mother’s entreaties. However, the diligent transformation at L’s did not last long, for three days after a parcel was left at the Homestead containing five thousand printed copies of the appeal, with the E rightly inserted. Bessie laughed, and did not disavow the half reluctant thanks for this compensation for her inadvertence or mischief, whichever it might be, laughing the more at Rachel’s somewhat ungrateful confession that she had rather the cost had gone into a subscription for the F. U. E. E. As Bessie said to herself, it was much better and more agreeable for all parties that it should so stand, and she would consider herself in debt to Alick for the amount. Indeed, she fully expected him to send her in the bill, but in the meantime not one word was uttered between the brother and sister on the subject. They understood one another too well to spend useless words.
Rachel probably wouldn't have agreed, but she had to give in to her mother's pleas. However, the thorough changes at L’s didn’t last long, because three days later, a package arrived at the Homestead containing five thousand printed copies of the appeal, with the E correctly inserted. Bessie laughed and didn't deny her somewhat reluctant gratitude for this compensation for her oversight or mischief, whichever it was, laughing even more at Rachel’s somewhat ungrateful admission that she'd prefer the money had gone toward a subscription for the F. U. E. E. As Bessie thought to herself, it was much better and more pleasant for everyone that it worked out this way, and she would consider herself in debt to Alick for the amount. In fact, she fully expected him to send her the bill, but in the meantime, neither the brother nor the sister mentioned the topic. They understood each other too well to waste words.
Contrary to most expectation, there was result enough from Rachel’s solicitations to serve as justification for the outlay in stamps. The very number of such missives that fly about the world proves that there must be a great amount of uninquiring benevolence to render the speculation anything but desperate, and Rachel met with very tolerable success. Mr. Mauleverer called about once a week to report progress on his side, and, in his character of treasurer, to take charge of the sums that began to accumulate. But Rachel had heard so much on all sides of the need of caution in dealing with one so entirely a stranger, that she resolved that no one should blame her for imprudence, and therefore retained in her own name, in the Avoncester Bank, all the sums that she received. Mr. Mauleverer declared himself quite contented with this arrangement, and eagerly anticipated the apologies that Rachel was ashamed even to make to him.
Contrary to what most people expected, Rachel's efforts brought in enough results to justify the money spent on stamps. The sheer number of letters sent around the world shows that there must be a lot of uncritical kindness out there, making her attempts anything but hopeless, and Rachel experienced quite decent success. Mr. Mauleverer visited about once a week to provide updates on his end and, in his role as treasurer, to manage the funds that started to accumulate. However, Rachel had heard so much advice about being cautious with someone so completely unknown that she decided she wouldn't let anyone blame her for being careless. So, she kept all the money she received in her own name at the Avoncester Bank. Mr. Mauleverer said he was perfectly fine with this setup and eagerly awaited the apologies that Rachel was too embarrassed to offer him.
Enough was collected to justify a beginning on a small scale. A house was to be taken where Mr. Mauleverer and a matron would receive the first pupils, teach them wood engraving, and prepare the earlier numbers of the magazine. When a little more progress had been made, the purchase of a printing-press might be afforded, and it might be struck off by the girls themselves, but in the meantime they must be dependent on the regular printer. On this account Mr. Mauleverer thought it best to open the establishment, not at Avonmouth, but at St. Herbert’s, where he had acquaintance that would facilitate the undertaking.
Enough was gathered to justify starting on a small scale. A house would be set up where Mr. Mauleverer and a matron would welcome the first students, teach them wood engraving, and prepare the initial issues of the magazine. Once more progress was made, they could afford to buy a printing press, and the girls might be able to print it themselves, but for now, they needed to rely on a regular printer. Because of this, Mr. Mauleverer decided it was best to launch the establishment not in Avonmouth, but in St. Herbert's, where he had connections that would help with the project.
Rachel was much disappointed. To be in and out constantly, daily teaching and watching the girls, and encouraging them by learning the employment herself, had been an essential portion of her vision. She had even in one of her most generous moods proposed to share the delight with the Williamses, and asked Ermine if she would not, if all things suited, become the resident matron. However, Mr. Mauleverer said that there was an individual of humbler rank, the widow of a National Schoolmaster, so anxious to devote herself to the work, that he had promised she should share it whenever he was in a condition to set the asylum on foot; and he assured Rachel that she would find this person perfectly amenable to all her views, and ready to work under her. He brought letters in high praise of the late school master, and recommendations of his widow from the clergyman of the parish where they had lived; and place and name being both in the “Clergy List,” even Ermine and Alison began to feel ashamed of their incredulity, whilst as to Grace, she had surrendered herself completely to the eager delight of finding a happy home for the little children in whom she was interested. Grace might laugh a little at Rachel, but in the main her trust in her sister’s superiority always led her judgment, and in the absence of Colonel Keith, Fanny was equally willing to let Rachel think for her when her own children were not concerned.
Rachel was really disappointed. Being involved every day, teaching and watching the girls, and helping them by learning the work herself had been a crucial part of her dream. In one of her more generous moments, she even suggested sharing the joy with the Williamses and asked Ermine if she would consider becoming the resident matron if everything worked out. However, Mr. Mauleverer mentioned that there was someone of a lower status, the widow of a National Schoolmaster, who was very eager to commit herself to the work. He had promised her a role whenever he was able to get the asylum started, and he assured Rachel that this person would be completely supportive of her ideas and ready to work under her. He brought letters praising the late schoolmaster and recommendations for his widow from the parish clergyman where they had lived; with both the place and name listed in the “Clergy List,” even Ermine and Alison started to feel a bit embarrassed about their doubts. As for Grace, she had completely embraced the excitement of finding a happy home for the little children she cared about. Grace might tease Rachel a little, but overall, her belief in her sister’s abilities guided her opinion. In Colonel Keith's absence, Fanny was also happy to let Rachel take the lead when it didn’t involve her own children.
Rachel did not give up her hopes of fixing the asylum near her till after a considerable effort to get a house for it at Avonmouth, but this was far from easy. The Curtises’ unwillingness to part with land for building purposes enhanced the price of houses, and in autumn and winter the place was at its fullest, so that she could not even rent a house but at a ruinous price. It would be the best way to build on Homestead land, but this would be impracticable until spring, even if means were forthcoming, as Rachel resolved they should be, and in the meantime she was obliged to acquiesce in Mr. Mauleverer’s assurance that a small house in an overbuilt portion of St. Norbert’s would be more eligible than one in some inland parish. Anything was better than delay. Mr. Mauleverer was to superintend from his lodgings.
Rachel didn’t give up on her hopes of fixing the asylum nearby until she put in a lot of effort to find a place for it in Avonmouth, but that wasn't easy at all. The Curtises didn’t want to sell any land for building, which drove up the prices of houses, and during the fall and winter, the area was packed, so she couldn’t even rent a place without paying an outrageous rate. The best option would be to build on Homestead land, but that wouldn’t be possible until spring, even if she managed to secure the funds, which Rachel was determined to do. In the meantime, she had to go along with Mr. Mauleverer’s suggestion that a small house in an overcrowded part of St. Norbert’s would be a better option than one in a more rural area. Anything was better than waiting. Mr. Mauleverer was set to oversee everything from his place.
Rachel went with Grace and her mother to St. Norbert’s, and inspected the house, an ordinary cheap one, built to supply lodgings for the more economical class of visitors. It was not altogether what Rachel wished, but must serve till she could build, and perhaps it would be best to form her experience before her plans. Mr. Mauleverer’s own lodgings were near at hand, and he could inspect progress. The furniture was determined upon—neat little iron beds for the dormitories, and all that could serve for comfort and even pleasure, for both Mr. Mauleverer and Rachel were strong against making the place bare and workhouse-like, insulting poverty and dulling the spirit.
Rachel went with Grace and her mom to St. Norbert’s and checked out the house, which was just a basic and inexpensive place meant for budget-conscious visitors. It wasn’t exactly what Rachel had in mind, but it would have to do until she could build something better. Maybe it was smart to gain some experience before jumping into her plans. Mr. Mauleverer’s own place was nearby, so he could keep an eye on the progress. They decided on the furniture—cute little iron beds for the dorms, and everything else needed for comfort and even a bit of enjoyment, since both Mr. Mauleverer and Rachel were against making the place bare and dreary, which would insult those who were struggling and dampen their spirits.
Grace suggested communication with the clergyman of the parish; but the North Hill turned out not to belong to St. Norbert’s proper, being a part of a great moorland parish, whose focus was twelve miles off. A district was in course of formation, and a church was to be built; but in the meantime the new houses were practically almost pastorless, and the children and their matron must take their chance on the free seats of one of the churches of St. Norbert’s. The staff of clergy there were so busy that no one liked to add extra parochial work to their necessary duties, and there was not sufficient acquaintance with them to judge how they would view Mr. Mauleverer’s peculiarities. Clerical interference was just what Rachel said she did not want; it was an escape that she did not call it meddling.
Grace suggested reaching out to the parish clergyman; however, North Hill turned out to be part of a larger moorland parish, with its main church located twelve miles away. A new district was being established, and a church was planned to be built, but for now, the new houses were essentially without a pastor, leaving the children and their matron to rely on the available seats in one of St. Norbert's churches. The clergy there were so busy that no one wanted to take on additional work outside their main responsibilities, and there wasn't enough familiarity with them to know how they would respond to Mr. Mauleverer's quirks. Rachel specifically said she did not want clerical interference; for her, it was a way to escape, not something to meddle in.
One bit of patronage at least she could exercise; a married pair of former Homestead servants had set up a fuel store at St. Norbert’s, receiving coal from the ships, and retailing it. They were to supply the F. U. E. E. with wood, coal, and potatoes; and this was a great ingredient in Mrs. Curtis’s toleration. The mother liked anything that brought custom to Rossitur and Susan.
One way she could offer support was through a married couple who used to work at the Homestead. They opened a fuel store at St. Norbert’s, where they received coal from ships and sold it. They were supposed to supply the F. U. E. E. with wood, coal, and potatoes, which was a big factor in Mrs. Curtis’s acceptance. The mother appreciated anything that brought business to Rossitur and Susan.
The establishment was at present to consist of three children: the funds were not sufficient for more. One was the child of the matron, and the other two were Lovedy Kelland and the daughter of a widow in ill health, whose family were looking very lean and ill cared for. Mrs. Kelland was very unwilling to give Lovedy up, she had always looked to receiving the apprentice fee from the Burnaby bargain for her as soon as the child was fourteen, and she had a strong prejudice against any possible disturbance to the lace trade; but winter would soon come and her sale was uncertain; her best profit was so dependent on Homestead agency that it was impolitic to offend Miss Curtis; and, moreover, Lovedy was so excited by the idea of learning to make pictures to books that she forgot all the lace dexterity she had ever learnt, and spoilt more than she made, so that Mrs. Kelland was reduced to accept the kind proposal that Lovedy should be Lady Temple’s nominee, and be maintained, by her at the F. U. E. E. at seven shillings a week.
The establishment currently consists of three children: the funds aren't enough for more. One is the matron's child, and the other two are Lovedy Kelland and the daughter of a sick widow, whose family looks very thin and poorly cared for. Mrs. Kelland is very reluctant to part with Lovedy; she has always expected to receive the apprenticeship fee from the Burnaby deal for her as soon as the child turns fourteen, and she has a strong bias against anything that might disrupt the lace trade. However, winter is fast approaching, and her sales are uncertain; her best profit relies so much on Homestead agency that it would be unwise to upset Miss Curtis. Moreover, Lovedy is so thrilled by the idea of learning to illustrate books that she forgets all the lace skills she’s ever learned, ruining more than she creates. So, Mrs. Kelland has agreed to the generous offer that Lovedy be Lady Temple's nominee, and be supported by her at the F. U. E. E. for seven shillings a week.
Fanny, however, asked the clergyman’s consent first, telling him, with her sweet, earnest smile, how sorry she was for the little girl, and showing him the high testimonials to Mrs. Rawlins. He owned that they were all that could be wished, and even said at her request that he would talk to Mr. Mauleverer. What the talk amounted to they never knew; but when Fanny said “she hoped he had found nothing unsatisfactory, the poor man must be so glad to be of use;” Mr. Touchett replied with, “Indeed, it is an unfortunate situation;” and his opposition might therefore be considered as suspended.
Fanny, however, first asked the clergyman for his approval, telling him, with her sweet, sincere smile, how sorry she felt for the little girl, and showing him the strong endorsements for Mrs. Rawlins. He admitted that they were everything one could hope for and even agreed, at her request, to speak to Mr. Mauleverer. What came of that conversation remained unclear; however, when Fanny expressed, “I hope he found nothing troubling; the poor man must be so glad to help,” Mr. Touchett responded with, “Indeed, it’s an unfortunate situation;” thus, his opposition could be considered on hold.
“Of course,” cried Bessie, “we know by what witchery!” But Alison Williams, her listener, turned on her such great eyes of wilful want of comprehension, that she held her peace.
“Of course,” Bessie exclaimed, “we know how she did it!” But Alison Williams, her listener, gave her such a look of stubborn confusion that she fell silent.
Rachel and Grace united in sending Mary Morris, the other child; they really could do nothing more, so heavily had their means been drawn upon for the first expenses; but Rachel trusted to do more for the future, and resolved that her dress should henceforth cost no more than Alison Williams’s; indeed, she went through a series of assertions by way of examining Alison on the expenses of her wardrobe.
Rachel and Grace came together to send Mary Morris, the other child; they really couldn’t do anything more, as their resources had been stretched thin by the initial costs. But Rachel hoped to do more in the future and decided that her dress should from now on cost no more than Alison Williams’s; in fact, she went through a series of questions to check with Alison about the costs of her wardrobe.
The house was taken from Michaelmas, and a few days after, the two little victims, as Bessie laughingly called them, were taken over to St. Norbert’s in the Homestead carriage, Lady Temple chaperoning the three young ladies to see the inauguration, and the height of Rachel’s glory.
The house was taken from Michaelmas, and a few days later, the two little victims, as Bessie jokingly called them, were taken over to St. Norbert’s in the Homestead carriage, with Lady Temple escorting the three young ladies to witness the inauguration and the peak of Rachel’s glory.
They were received by Mr. Mauleverer at the door, and slightly in the rear saw the matron, Mrs. Rawlins, a handsome pale woman, younger than they expected, but whose weeds made Fanny warm to her directly; but she was shy and retiring, and could not be drawn into conversation; and her little Alice was only three years old, much younger than Rachel had expected as a pupil, but a very pretty creature with great black eyes.
They were greeted by Mr. Mauleverer at the door, and slightly behind him was the matron, Mrs. Rawlins, a striking pale woman, younger than they had anticipated, but her mourning attire made Fanny feel an immediate connection to her. However, she was shy and reserved, and couldn’t be engaged in conversation. Her little Alice was only three years old, much younger than Rachel had expected for a student, but she was a very pretty child with large black eyes.
Tea and cake were provided by way of an inauguration feast, and the three little girls sat up in an atmosphere of good cheer, strongly suggestive of school feasts, and were left in the midst, with many promises of being good, a matter that Lovedy seemed to think would be very easy in this happy place, with no lace to make.
Tea and cake were served for the opening celebration, and the three little girls sat up in a cheerful atmosphere that reminded them of school parties. They were left there with plenty of promises to behave, something Lovedy thought would be quite easy to manage in this happy place, especially since there was no lace to make.
Mrs. Rawlins, whose husband had been a trained schoolmaster, was to take the children to church, and attend to their religious instruction; indeed, Mr. Mauleverer was most anxious on this head, and as Rachel already knew the scruples that withheld him from ordination were only upon the absolute binding himself to positive belief in minor technical points, that would never come in the way of young children.
Mrs. Rawlins, whose husband was a trained teacher, was going to take the kids to church and take care of their religious education; in fact, Mr. Mauleverer was very concerned about this. Since Rachel already understood that the reasons preventing him from becoming ordained were only about the strict commitment to specific minor beliefs, which wouldn't affect young children at all.
Altogether, the neat freshness of the room, the urbanity of Mr. Mauleverer, the shy grief of the matron, all left a most pleasant impression. Rachel was full of delight and triumph, and Grace and Fanny quite enthusiastic; the latter even to the being sure that the Colonel would be delighted, for the Colonel was already beginning to dawn on the horizon, and not alone. He had written, in the name of his brother, to secure a cottage of gentility of about the same calibre as Myrtlewood, newly completed by a speculator on one of the few bits of ground available for building purposes. A name was yet wanting to it; but the day after the negotiation was concluded, the landlord paid the delicate compliment to his first tenant by painting “Gowanbrae” upon the gate-posts in letters of green. “Go and bray,” read Bessie Keith as she passed by; “for the sake of the chief of my name, I hope that it is not an omen of his occupations here.”
Overall, the fresh cleanliness of the room, Mr. Mauleverer’s sophistication, and the matron’s quiet sadness all created a really nice atmosphere. Rachel was full of joy and triumph, and Grace and Fanny were quite excited; the latter even believed that the Colonel would be thrilled, since he was already starting to appear on the horizon, and not alone. He had written, on behalf of his brother, to secure a classy cottage similar to Myrtlewood, recently built by a developer on one of the few remaining available lots. It still needed a name; however, the day after the deal was finalized, the landlord paid a nice compliment to his first tenant by painting “Gowanbrae” on the gateposts in green letters. “Go and bray,” read Bessie Keith as she walked by; “for the sake of the chief of my name, I hope that this isn’t a sign of his activities here.”
The two elder boys were with her; and while Francis, slowly apprehending her meaning in part, began to bristle up with the assurance that “Colonel Keith never brayed in his life,” Conrade caught the point with dangerous relish, and dwelt with colonial disrespect, that alarmed his mother, on the opinion expressed by some unguarded person in his hearing, that Lord Keith was little better than an old donkey. “He is worse than Aunt Rachel,” said Conrade, meditatively, “now she has saved Don, and keeps away from the croquet.”
The two older boys were with her, and while Francis, slowly starting to grasp her meaning, began to bristle with the confidence that “Colonel Keith never brayed in his life,” Conrade picked up on it with a dangerous enthusiasm and, with a level of disrespect that worried his mother, focused on a comment made by someone who wasn’t careful enough to know he was listening, that Lord Keith was hardly better than an old donkey. “He’s worse than Aunt Rachel,” said Conrade thoughtfully, “now that she’s saved Don and stays away from the croquet.”
Meantime Rachel studied her own feelings. A few weeks ago her heart would have leapt at the announcement; but now her mission had found her out, and she did not want to be drawn aside from it. Colonel Keith might have many perfections, but alike as Scotsman, soldier, and High-Churchman, he was likely to be critical of the head of the F. U. E. E., and matters had gone too far now for her to afford to doubt, or to receive a doubting master. Moreover, it would be despicable to be diverted from a great purpose by a courtship like any ordinary woman; nor must marriage settlements come to interfere with her building and endowment of the asylum, and ultimate devotion of her property thereunto. No, she would school herself into a system of quiet discouragement, and reserve herself and her means as the nucleus of the great future establishment for maintaining female rights of labour.
Meantime, Rachel examined her own feelings. A few weeks ago, her heart would have raced at the announcement; but now her mission had revealed itself to her, and she didn’t want to be distracted from it. Colonel Keith might have many qualities, but as a Scotsman, soldier, and High-Churchman, he was likely to be critical of the head of the F. U. E. E., and things had progressed too far for her to doubt or accept a doubting leader. Furthermore, it would be terrible to be sidetracked from a great purpose by a courtship like any ordinary woman; nor should marriage settlements interfere with her plans for building and funding the asylum, and ultimately dedicating her property to that cause. No, she would train herself to maintain a system of quiet discouragement and keep her focus and resources as the foundation for the great future establishment that would uphold women's rights to work.
CHAPTER XI. LADY TEMPLE’S TROUBLES.
“The pheasant in the falcon’s claw, He scarce will yield, to please a daw.”—SCOTT.
“The pheasant in the falcon’s grip, He hardly gives in, to satisfy a crow.” —SCOTT.
Early in the afternoon of a warm October day, the brothers arrived at Avomnouth, and ten minutes after both were upon the lawn at Myrtlewood, where croquet was still in progress. Shouts of delight greeted the Colonel, and very gracefully did Bessie Keith come to meet him, with the frank confiding sweetness befitting his recent ward, the daughter of his friend. A reassuring smile and monosyllable had scarcely time to pass between him and the governess before a flood of tidings was poured on him by the four elder boys, while their mother was obliged to be mannerly, and to pace leisurely along with the elder guest, and poor Mr. Touchett waited a little aloof, hammering his own boot with his mallet, as if he found the enchanted ground failing him. But the boys had no notion of losing their game, and vociferated an inquiry whether the Colonel knew croquet. Yes, he had several times played with his cousins in Scotland. “Then,” insisted Conrade, “he must take mamma’s place, whilst she was being devoured, and how surprised she would be at being so helped on!”
Early in the afternoon of a warm October day, the brothers arrived at Avomnouth, and just ten minutes later, both were on the lawn at Myrtlewood, where a game of croquet was still happening. The Colonel was greeted with cheers of joy, and Bessie Keith came to meet him gracefully, with the open and sweet demeanor fitting for his recent ward, the daughter of his friend. A quick reassuring smile and a simple word barely passed between him and the governess before the four older boys overwhelmed him with a flood of news, while their mother had to be polite and stroll leisurely alongside the older guest. Meanwhile, poor Mr. Touchett stood a little aside, tapping his boot with his mallet as if he found the enchanted ground slipping away from him. But the boys weren’t about to stop their game and loudly asked if the Colonel knew how to play croquet. Yes, he had played with his cousins in Scotland several times. “Then,” insisted Conrade, “he has to take mom’s place while she’s being devoured, and how surprised she will be to get such help!”
“Not now, not to-day,” he answered. “I may go to your sister, Ailie? Yes, boys, you must close up your ranks without me.”
“Not now, not today,” he replied. “Can I go to your sister, Ailie? Yes, boys, you need to hold your positions without me.”
“Then please,” entreated Hubert, “take him away,” pointing to the engrosser of their mother.
“Then please,” Hubert pleaded, “take him away,” pointing to the one who was monopolizing their mother.
“Do you find elder brothers so easily disposed of, Hubert?” said the Colonel. “Do you take Conrade away when you please?”
“Do you think you can just get rid of elder brothers that easily, Hubert?” asked the Colonel. “Can you take Conrade away whenever you want?”
“I should punch him,” returned Francis.
“I should punch him,” Francis replied.
“He knows better,” quoth Conrade in the same breath, both with infinite contempt for Hubert.
“He knows better,” said Conrade at the same time, filled with complete disdain for Hubert.
“And I know better,” returned Colonel Keith; “never mind, boys, I’ll come back in—in reasonable time to carry him off,” and he waved a gay farewell.
“And I know better,” Colonel Keith replied. “Don’t worry, guys, I’ll be back in—reasonable time to take him away,” and he gave a cheerful wave goodbye.
“Surely you wish to go too,” said Bessie to Alison, “if only to relieve them of the little girl! I’ll take care of the boys. Pray go.”
“I'm sure you want to go too,” Bessie said to Alison, “if only to give them a break from the little girl! I'll handle the boys. Please go.”
“Thank you,” said Alison, surprised at her knowledge of the state of things, “but they are quite hardened to Rose’s presence, and I think would rather miss her.”
“Thank you,” said Alison, surprised by how much she knew about the situation, “but they’ve gotten pretty used to Rose being around, and I think they would actually miss her.”
And in fact Alison did not feel at all sure that, when stimulated by Bessie’s appreciation of their mischief, her flock might not in her absence do something that might put their mother in despair, and make their character for naughtiness irretrievable; so Leoline and Hubert were summoned, the one from speculations whether Lord Keith would have punched his brother, the other from amaze that there was anything our military secretary could not do, and Conrade and Francis were arrested in the midst of a significant contraction of the nostrils and opening of the mouth, which would have exploded in an “eehaw” but for Bessie’s valiant undertaking to be herself and Lady Temple both at once.
And in fact, Alison wasn't at all sure that when inspired by Bessie’s approval of their mischief, her group might not, in her absence, do something that would drive their mother to despair and make their reputation for being naughty irreversible. So, Leoline and Hubert were called in—one was lost in thoughts about whether Lord Keith would have hit his brother, while the other was surprised there was anything our military secretary couldn't handle. Meanwhile, Conrade and Francis were interrupted in the middle of making a face that would have erupted into an “eehaw” if it weren’t for Bessie’s brave effort to be both herself and Lady Temple at the same time.
Soon Colonel Keith was knocking at Ermine’s door, and Rose was clinging to him, glowing and sparkling with shy ecstasy; while, without sitting down again after her greeting, Rachel resolutely took leave, and walked away with firm steps, ruminating on her determination not to encourage meetings in Mackarel Lane.
Soon Colonel Keith was knocking at Ermine’s door, and Rose was clinging to him, glowing and sparkling with shy excitement; while, without sitting down again after her greeting, Rachel firmly said goodbye and walked away with steady steps, thinking about her decision not to encourage meetings in Mackarel Lane.
“Better than I expected!” exclaimed Colonel Keith, after having ushered her to the door in the fulness of his gratitude. “I knew it was inevitable that she should be here, but that she should depart so fast was beyond hope!”
“Better than I expected!” exclaimed Colonel Keith, after he had shown her to the door, overflowing with gratitude. “I knew it was inevitable that she would be here, but that she would leave so quickly was beyond hope!”
“Yes,” said Ermine, laughing, “I woke with such a certainty that she would be here and spend the first half hour in the F. U. E, E. that I wasted a great deal of resignation. But how are you, Colin? You are much thinner! I am sure by Mrs. Tibbie’s account you were much more ill than you told me.”
“Yes,” said Ermine, laughing, “I woke up feeling sure she would be here and spend the first half hour in the F. U. E, E., so I wasted a lot of patience. But how are you, Colin? You look a lot thinner! I bet according to Mrs. Tibbie, you were much sicker than you let on.”
“Only ill enough to convince me that the need of avoiding a northern winter was not a fallacy, and likewise to make Tibbie insist on coming here for fear Maister Colin should not be looked after. It is rather a responsibility to have let her come, for she has never been farther south than Edinburgh, but she would not be denied. So she has been to see you! I told her you would help her to find her underlings. I thought it might be an opening for that nice little girl who was so oppressed with lace-making.”
“Only sick enough to make me believe that avoiding a northern winter wasn’t just a wild idea, and it also made Tibbie insist on coming here because she was worried Maister Colin wouldn’t be taken care of. It’s a bit of a responsibility to have let her come since she’s never been farther south than Edinburgh, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. So she’s been to see you! I told her you would help her find her helpers. I thought it could be an opportunity for that sweet little girl who was so overwhelmed with lace-making.”
“Ah! she has gone to learn wood-cutting at the F. U. E. E.; but I hope we have comfortably provided Tibbie with a damsel. She made us a long visit, and told us all about Master Colin’s nursery days. Only I am afraid we did not understand half.”
“Ah! she's gone to learn wood-cutting at the F. U. E. E.; but I hope we've set Tibbie up comfortably with a girl. She visited us for a long time and shared everything about Master Colin’s early years. I'm just afraid we didn't understand half of it.”
“Good old body,” said the Colonel, in tones almost as national as Tibbie’s own. “She was nursery girl when I was the spoilt child of the house, and hers was the most homelike face that met me. I wish she may be happy here. And you are well, Ermine?”
“Good old body,” said the Colonel, in a tone nearly as familiar as Tibbie’s own. “She was the nursery girl when I was the spoiled child of the house, and hers was the most comforting face I encountered. I hope she finds happiness here. And how are you, Ermine?”
“Very well, those drives are so pleasant, and Lady Temple so kind! It is wonderful to think how many unlooked-for delights have come to us; how good every one is;” and her eyes shone with happy tears as she looked up at him, and felt that he was as much her own as ever. “And you have brought your brother,” she said; “you have been too useful to him to be spared. Is he come to look after you or to be looked after!”
“That's great; those drives are so enjoyable, and Lady Temple is so nice! It’s amazing to think about all the unexpected joys we’ve experienced; everyone is so kind,” and her eyes sparkled with happy tears as she looked up at him, feeling that he was still completely hers. “And you brought your brother,” she said; “you’ve been too helpful to him to be left out. Did he come to take care of you, or is it the other way around?"
“A little of both I fancy,” said the Colonel, “but I suspect he is giving me up as a bad job. Ermine, there are ominous revivifications going on at home, and he has got himself rigged out in London, and had his hair cut, so that he looks ten years younger.”
“A bit of both, I guess,” said the Colonel, “but I have a feeling he’s writing me off as a lost cause. Ermine, there are unsettling changes happening back home, and he’s dressed up in London and got a haircut, making him look a decade younger.”
“Do you think he has any special views!”
“Do you think he has any unique opinions?”
“He took such pains to show me the charms of the Benorchie property that I should have thought it would have been Jessie Douglas, the heiress thereof, only coming here does not seem the way to set about it, unless be regards this place as a bath of youth and fashion. I fancy he has learnt enough about my health to make him think me a precarious kind of heir, and that his views are general. I hope he may not be made a fool of, otherwise it is the best thing that could happen to us.”
“He worked so hard to show me the appeal of the Benorchie property that I would have thought it would be Jessie Douglas, the heiress, doing this. However, coming here doesn’t seem like the right approach, unless he sees this place as a hub of youth and style. I suspect he has learned enough about my health to think of me as a somewhat unreliable heir and that his perspective is more general. I hope he doesn’t end up looking foolish because, otherwise, it might be the best thing that could happen for us.”
“It has been a dreary uncomfortable visit, I much fear,” said Ermine.
“It has been a really uncomfortable visit, I’m afraid,” said Ermine.
“Less so than you think. I am glad to have been able to be of use to him, and to have lived on something like brotherly terms. We know and like each other much better than we had a chance of doing before, and we made some pleasant visits together, but at home there are many things on which we can never be of one mind, and I never was well enough at Gowanbrae to think of living there permanently.”
“Not as much as you think. I'm glad I could help him and that we got along like brothers. We understand and like each other much better now than we did before, and we spent some nice visits together. But at home, there are many things we’ll never agree on, and I was never well enough at Gowanbrae to consider living there for good.”
“I was sure you had been very unwell! You are better though?”
“I was sure you had been really unwell! Are you feeling better now?”
“Well, since I came into Avonmouth air,” said he, “I fear nothing but cold. I am glad to have brought him with me, since he could not stay there, for it is very lonely for him.”
“Well, since I arrived in Avonmouth air,” he said, “I only worry about the cold. I’m glad I brought him along, since he couldn’t stay there; it’s really lonely for him.”
“Yet you said his daughter was settled close by.”
“Yet you said his daughter lived nearby.”
“Yes; but that makes it the worse. In fact, Ermine, I did not know before what a wretched affair he had made of his daughters’ marriages. Isabel he married when she was almost a child to this Comyn Menteith, very young too at the time, and who has turned out a good-natured, reckless, dissipated fellow, who is making away with his property as fast as he can, and to whom Keith’s advice is like water on a duck’s back. It is all rack and ruin and extravagance, a set of ill-regulated children, and Isabel smiling and looking pretty in the midst of them, and perfectly impervious to remonstrance. He is better out of sight of them, for it is only pain and vexation, an example of the sort of match he likes to make. Mary, the other daughter, was the favourite, and used to her own way, and she took it. Keith was obliged to consent so as to prevent an absolute runaway wedding, but he has by no means forgiven her husband, and they are living on very small means on a Government appointment in Trinidad. I believe it would be the bitterest pill to him that either son-in-law should come in for any part of the estate.”
“Yes; but that makes it worse. In fact, Ermine, I didn’t realize before what a terrible mess he made of his daughters’ marriages. He married Isabel when she was almost a child to this Comyn Menteith, who was very young too at the time, and he has turned out to be a good-natured but reckless and irresponsible guy, squandering his inheritance as quickly as he can, and Keith’s advice rolls off him like water off a duck’s back. It’s all chaos and extravagance, a group of poorly managed kids, and Isabel smiling and looking pretty among them, completely immune to any objections. He’s better off away from them, as it only brings him pain and frustration, showing the kind of match he tends to make. Mary, the other daughter, was the favorite and used to getting her way, and she did. Keith had to agree just to avoid an actual runaway wedding, but he has definitely not forgiven her husband, and they’re living on very little in a government job in Trinidad. I believe it would be the hardest thing for him to accept if either son-in-law were to inherit any part of the estate.”
“I thought it was entailed.”
"I thought it was included."
“Gowanbrae is, but as things stand at present that ends with me, and the other estates are at his disposal.”
“Gowanbrae is mine, but as things are right now, that ends with me, and the other estates are up to him.”
“Then it would be very hard on the daughters not to have them.”
“Then it would be really tough on the daughters not to have them.”
“So hard that the death of young Alexander may have been one of the greatest disasters of my life, as well as of poor Keith’s. However, this is riding out to meet perplexities. He is most likely to outlive me; and, moreover, may marry and put an end to the difficulty. Meantime, till my charge is relieved, I must go and see after him, and try if I can fulfil Hubert’s polite request that I would take him away. Rosie, my woman, I have hardly spoken to you. I have some hyacinth roots to bring you to-morrow.”
“So hard that the death of young Alexander may have been one of the greatest disasters of my life, as well as of poor Keith’s. But this is just dealing with challenges. He’s most likely to outlive me; plus, he might get married and resolve the issue. In the meantime, until my responsibility is lifted, I need to check on him and see if I can honor Hubert’s polite request to take him away. Rosie, my dear, I’ve hardly spoken to you. I have some hyacinth bulbs to bring you tomorrow.”
In spite of these suspicions, Colonel Keith was not prepared for what met him on his return to Myrtlewood. On opening the drawing-room door, he found Lady Temple in a low arm-chair in an agony of crying, so that she did not hear his approach till he stood before her in consternation. Often had he comforted her before, and now, convinced that something dreadful must have befallen one of the children, he hastily, though tenderly, entreated her to tell him which, and what he could do.
In spite of his suspicions, Colonel Keith wasn't ready for what he found when he got back to Myrtlewood. As he opened the drawing-room door, he saw Lady Temple in a low armchair, crying uncontrollably, so she didn't notice him until he was right in front of her, shocked. He had comforted her many times before, and now, convinced that something terrible must have happened to one of the kids, he quickly but gently urged her to tell him which child it was and what he could do to help.
“Oh, no, no!” she exclaimed, starting up, and removing her handkerchief, so that he saw her usually pale cheeks were crimson—“Oh, no,” she cried, with panting breath and heaving chest. “It is all well with them as yet. But—but—it’s your brother.”
“Oh, no, no!” she exclaimed, sitting up and taking away her handkerchief, revealing her normally pale cheeks were flushed—“Oh, no,” she cried, breathing heavily and her chest rising and falling. “They’re all okay for now. But—but—it’s your brother.”
He was at no loss now as to what his brother could have done, but he stood confounded, with a sense of personal share in the offence, and his first words were—“I am very sorry. I never thought of this.”
He now understood what his brother could have done, but he stood there stunned, feeling personally involved in the wrongdoing, and his first words were—“I’m really sorry. I never thought about this.”
“No, indeed,” she exclaimed, “who could? It was too preposterous to be dreamt of by any one. At his age, too, one would have thought he might have known better.”
“No, really,” she said, “who could? It was way too ridiculous for anyone to even imagine. At his age, you’d think he would have known better.”
A secret sense of amusement crossed the Colonel, as he recollected that the disparity between Fanny Curtis and Sir Stephen Temple had been far greater than that between Lady Temple and Lord Keith, but the little gentle lady was just at present more like a fury than he had thought possible, evidently regarding what had just passed as an insult to her husband and an attack on the freedom of all her sons. In answer to a few sympathising words on the haste of his brother’s proceeding, she burst out again with indignation almost amusing in one so soft—“Haste! Yes! I did think that people would have had some respect for dear, dear Sir Stephen,” and her gush of tears came with more of grief and less of violence, as if she for the first time felt herself unprotected by her husband’s name.
A secret sense of amusement crossed the Colonel as he remembered that the difference between Fanny Curtis and Sir Stephen Temple was much greater than that between Lady Temple and Lord Keith. But the little gentle lady was at that moment more like a fury than he thought possible, clearly viewing what had just happened as an insult to her husband and an attack on the freedom of all her sons. In response to a few sympathetic comments about the rush of his brother’s actions, she erupted again with indignation that was almost funny coming from someone so soft—“Rush! Yes! I really thought people would show some respect for dear, dear Sir Stephen,” and her tears flowed with more sadness and less anger, as if she were finally feeling unprotected by her husband’s name.
“I am very much concerned,” he repeated, feeling sympathy safer than reasoning. “If I could have guessed his intentions, I would have tried to spare you this; at least the suddenness of it. I could not have guessed at such presumptuous expectations on so short an acquaintance.”
“I’m really concerned,” he repeated, feeling that sympathy was safer than reasoning. “If I had known what he was after, I would have tried to protect you from this; at least from the shock of it. I could never have imagined such bold expectations after knowing him for such a short time.”
“He did not expect me to answer at once,” said Fanny. “He said he only meant to let me know his hopes in coming here. And, oh, that’s the worst of it! He won’t believe me, though I said more to him than I thought I could have said to anybody! I told him,” said Fanny, with her hands clasped over her knee to still her trembling, “that I cared for my dear, dear husband, and always shall—always—and then he talked about waiting, just as if anybody could leave off loving one’s husband! And then when he wanted me to consider about my children, why then I told him”—and her voice grew passionate again—“the more I considered, the worse it would be for him, as if I would have my boys know me without their father’s name; and, besides, he had not been so kind to you that I should wish to let him have anything to do with them! I am afraid I ought not to have said that,” she added, returning to something of her meek softness; “but indeed I was so angry, I did not know what I was about. I hope it will not make him angry with you.”
“He didn’t expect me to respond immediately,” said Fanny. “He mentioned that he just wanted to share his hopes for coming here. And, oh, that’s the worst part! He won’t believe me, even though I shared more with him than I ever thought I could with anyone! I told him,” Fanny said, clasping her hands over her knee to stop her trembling, “that I loved my dear, dear husband and always will—always—and then he talked about waiting, as if anyone could just stop loving their husband! And when he wanted me to think about my children, I told him”—her voice became passionate again—“the more I thought about it, the worse it would be for him, as if I would let my boys know me without their father’s name; and also, he hadn’t been kind enough to you for me to want him involved with them! I’m afraid I shouldn’t have said that,” she added, softening again; “but honestly, I was so angry, I didn’t know what I was saying. I hope it doesn’t make him angry with you.”
“Never mind me,” said Colonel Keith, kindly. “Indeed, Lady Temple, it is a wonderful compliment to you that he should have been ready to undertake such a family.”
“Don't worry about me,” Colonel Keith said kindly. “Actually, Lady Temple, it's quite a compliment to you that he would be willing to take on such a family.”
“I don’t want such compliments! And, oh!” and here her eyes widened with fright, “what shall I do? He only said my feelings did me honour, and he would be patient and convince me. Oh, Colonel Keith, what shall I do?” and she looked almost afraid that fate and perseverance would master her after all, and that she should be married against her will.
“I don’t want those compliments! And, oh!” Her eyes widened with fear. “What am I supposed to do? He only said my feelings were admirable, and he would be patient and win me over. Oh, Colonel Keith, what should I do?” She looked almost scared that fate and determination would take control, and that she might end up married against her will.
“You need do nothing but go on your own way, and persist in your refusal,” he said in the calm voice that always reassured her.
“You just need to keep going your own way and stay firm in your refusal,” he said in the calm voice that always put her at ease.
“Oh, but pray, pray never let him speak to me about it again!”
“Oh, but please, please never let him talk to me about it again!”
“Not if I can help it, and I will do my best. You are quite right, Lady Temple. I do not think it would be at all advisable for yourself or the children, and hardly for himself,” he added, smiling. “I think the mischief must all have been done by that game at whist.”
“Not if I can help it, and I’ll do my best. You’re absolutely right, Lady Temple. I don’t think it would be a good idea for you or the kids, and probably not for him either,” he added with a smile. “I think the trouble must have come from that game of whist.”
“Then I’ll never play again in my life! I only thought he was an old man that wanted amusing—.” Then as one of the children peeped in at the window, and was called back—“O dear! how shall I ever look at Conrade again, now any one has thought I could forget his father?”
“Then I’ll never play again in my life! I just thought he was an old man who wanted to have some fun—.” Then, as one of the kids peeked in at the window and was called back—“Oh no! How will I ever face Conrade again, now that someone thinks I could forget his dad?”
“If Conrade knew it, which I trust he never will, he ought to esteem it a testimony to his mother.”
“If Conrade knew this, which I hope he never does, he should consider it proof of his mother’s character.”
“Oh, no, for it must have been my fault! I always was so childish, and when I’ve got my boys with me, I can’t help being happy,” and the tears swelled again in her eyes. “I know I have not been as sad and serious as my aunt thought I ought to be, and now this comes of it.”
“Oh, no, it must have been my fault! I’ve always been so immature, and when I have my boys with me, I just can’t help but be happy,” and tears filled her eyes again. “I know I haven’t been as sad and serious as my aunt thought I should be, and now this is the result.”
“You have been true, have acted nothing,” said Colonel Keith, “and that is best of all. No one who really knew you could mistake your feelings. No doubt that your conduct agrees better with what would please our dear Sir Stephen than if you drooped and depressed the children.”
“You have been genuine, done nothing wrong,” said Colonel Keith, “and that is the most important thing. No one who truly knows you could misinterpret your feelings. It’s clear that your actions align better with what would make our dear Sir Stephen happy than if you were to sulk and bring down the children.”
“Oh, I am glad you say that,” she said, looking up, flushed with pleasure now, and her sweet eyes brimming over. “I have tried to think what he would like in all I have done, and you know I can’t help being proud and glad of belonging to him still; and he always told me not to be shy and creeping into the nursery out of every one’s way.”
“Oh, I’m so glad you said that,” she replied, looking up, her cheeks flushed with happiness and her kind eyes filled with tears. “I’ve tried to consider what he would appreciate in everything I’ve done, and you know I can’t help but feel proud and happy to still be connected to him; he always encouraged me not to be shy and to stop sneaking into the nursery to avoid everyone else.”
The tears were so happy now that he felt that the wound was healed, and that he might venture to leave her, only asking first, “And now what would you like me to do? Shall I try to persuade my brother to come away from this place?”
The tears were so joyful now that he felt the wound had healed, and he thought he could finally leave her, only asking first, “So what do you want me to do? Should I try to convince my brother to leave this place?”
“Oh, but then every one would find out why, and that would be dreadful! Besides, you are only just come. And Miss Williams—”
“Oh, but then everyone would find out why, and that would be awful! Besides, you just arrived. And Miss Williams—”
“Do not let that stand in your way.”
“Don’t let that hold you back.”
“No, no. You will be here to take care of me. And his going now would make people guess; and that would be worse than anything.”
“No, no. You’re going to stay here and take care of me. If he leaves now, people will start to suspect things, and that would be worse than anything.”
“It would. The less disturbance the better; and if you upset his plans now, he might plead a sort of right to renew the attempt later. Quiet indifference will be more dignified and discouraging. Indeed, I little thought to what I was exposing you. Now I hope you are going to rest, I am sure your head is aching terribly.”
“It would. The less disruption, the better; and if you disrupt his plans now, he might feel entitled to try again later. Staying quietly indifferent will be more dignified and discouraging. Honestly, I didn't realize what I was putting you through. Now I hope you're going to rest; I’m sure your head is hurting a lot.”
She faintly smiled, and let him give her his arm to the foot of the stairs.
She smiled slightly and allowed him to offer her his arm to the bottom of the stairs.
At first he was too indignant for any relief save walking up and down the esplanade, endeavouring to digest the unfairness towards himself of his brother’s silence upon views that would have put their joint residence at Avonmouth on so different a footing; above all, when the Temple family were his own peculiar charge, and when he remembered how unsuspiciously he had answered all questions on the money matters, and told how all was left in the widow’s own power. It was the more irritating, as he knew that his displeasure would be ascribed to interested motives, and regarded somewhat as he had seen Hubert’s resentment treated when Francis teased his favourite rabbit. Yet not only on principle, but to avoid a quarrel, and to reserve to himself such influence as might best shield Lady Temple from further annoyance, he must school himself to meet his brother with coolness and patience. It was not, however, without strong effort that he was able to perceive that, from the outer point of view, one who, when a mere child, had become the wife of an aged general, might, in her early widowhood, be supposed open to the addresses of a man of higher rank and fewer years, and the more as it was not in her nature to look crushed and pathetic. He, who had known her intimately throughout her married life and in her sorrow, was aware of the quiet force of the love that had grown up with her, so entirely a thread in her being as to crave little expression, and too reverent to be violent even in her grief. The nature, always gentle, had recovered its balance, and the difference in years had no doubt told in the readiness with which her spirits had recovered their cheerfulness, though her heart remained unchanged. Still, retired as her habits were, and becoming as was her whole conduct, Colin began to see that there had been enough of liveliness about her to lead to Lord Keith’s mistake, though not to justify his want of delicacy in the precipitation of his suit.
At first, he was too upset to find any relief other than pacing back and forth on the esplanade, trying to come to terms with how unfair his brother’s silence was regarding views that could have completely changed their living situation in Avonmouth; especially since the Temple family was his direct responsibility, and he remembered how unsuspectingly he had answered all questions about the financial matters, explaining that everything was left in the widow’s hands. It was even more frustrating because he knew his anger would be seen as self-serving, viewed much like Hubert’s anger when Francis teased his favorite rabbit. Yet, not only on principle but also to avoid a fight, and to maintain whatever influence he had that might protect Lady Temple from additional distress, he had to train himself to meet his brother with calmness and patience. It wasn't without significant effort that he was able to recognize that, from an outside perspective, a woman who had married an older general as a child might, in her early widowhood, appear open to the advances of a younger man of higher status, especially since it wasn't in her nature to look defeated and sorrowful. He, who had known her well throughout her marriage and in her mourning, understood the quiet strength of the love that had developed within her, so woven into her being that it needed little expression, and was too respectful to be overt even in her grief. Her inherently gentle nature had regained its balance, and the age difference certainly influenced how quickly her spirits had returned to cheerfulness, even though her heart remained the same. Still, despite her reserved habits and the gracefulness of her behavior, Colin began to notice that there had been enough liveliness about her to lead to Lord Keith’s misunderstanding, though it did not excuse his lack of sensitivity in rushing his proposal.
These reflections enabled him at length to encounter his brother with temper, and to find that, after all, it had been more like the declaration of an intended siege than an actual summons to surrender. Lord Keith was a less foolish and more courteous man than might have been gathered from poor Fanny’s terrified account; and all he had done was to intimate his intention of recommending himself to her, and the view with which he had placed himself at Avonmouth; nor was he in the slightest degree disconcerted by her vehemence, but rather entertained by it, accepting her faithfulness to her first husband’s memory as the best augury of her affection for a second. He did not even own that he had been precipitate.
These reflections finally allowed him to confront his brother calmly and realize that, after all, it was more like a declaration of an impending siege than an actual demand to surrender. Lord Keith was less foolish and more polite than one might have gathered from poor Fanny's terrified account, and all he had done was express his intention of winning her over and the perspective from which he had approached Avonmouth. He wasn't in the slightest bit thrown off by her intensity; instead, he found it amusing, viewing her loyalty to her late husband's memory as a positive sign of her capacity for affection in a new relationship. He didn't even admit that he had acted too quickly.
“Let her get accustomed to the idea,” he said with a shrewd smile. “The very outcry she makes against it will be all in my favour when the turn comes.”
“Let her get used to the idea,” he said with a sly smile. “The more she protests, the more it will benefit me when the time comes.”
“I doubt whether you will find it so.”
"I’m not sure you’ll see it that way."
“All the world does not live on romance like you, man. Look on, and you will see that a pretty young widow like her cannot fail to get into scrapes; have offers made to her, or at least the credit of them. I’d lay you ten pounds that you are said to be engaged to her yourself by this time, and it is no one’s fault but your own that you are not. It is in the very nature of things that she will be driven to shelter herself from the persecution, with whoever has bided his time.”
“All the world doesn't live on romance like you do, man. Look around, and you’ll see that a pretty young widow like her is bound to get into trouble; she'll have proposals made to her, or at least people will talk about them. I’d bet you ten pounds that by now, people are saying you’re engaged to her yourself, and it’s nobody’s fault but your own that you’re not. It’s just natural that she’ll seek shelter from the attention with whoever has been patient.”
“Oh, if you prefer being accepted on such terms—”
“Oh, if you’d rather be accepted on those terms—”
He smiled, as if the romance of the exclamation were beneath contempt, and proceeded—“A pretty, gracious, ladylike woman, who has seen enough of the world to know how to take her place, and yet will be content with a quiet home. It is an introduction I thank you for, Colin.”
He smiled, as if the excitement was laughable, and continued—“A lovely, elegant, refined woman who’s experienced enough to know her role, yet will be happy with a simple home. I appreciate the introduction, Colin.”
“And pray,” said Colin, the more inwardly nettled because he knew that his elder brother enjoyed his annoyance, “what do you think of those seven slight encumbrances?”
“And I ask,” said Colin, feeling more annoyed inside because he knew his older brother enjoyed getting under his skin, “what do you think about those seven minor inconveniences?”
“Oh, they are your charge,” returned Lord Keith, with a twinkle in his eye. “Besides, most of them are lads, and what with school, sea, and India, they will be easily disposed of.”
“Oh, they are your responsibility,” replied Lord Keith, with a spark in his eye. “Besides, most of them are boys, and with school, the sea, and India, they will be easy to manage.”
“Certainly it has been so in our family,” said Colin, rather hoarsely, as he thought of the four goodly brothers who had once risen in steps between him and the Master.
“Definitely it has been that way in our family,” said Colin, rather hoarsely, as he thought of the four strong brothers who had once been a few steps ahead of him and the Master.
“And,” added Lord Keith, still without direct answer, “she is so handsomely provided for, that you see, Colin, I could afford to give you up the Auchinvar property, that should have been poor Archie’s, and what with the farms and the moor, it would bring you in towards three hundred a year for your housekeeping.”
“And,” added Lord Keith, still not giving a straightforward answer, “she’s so well taken care of that you see, Colin, I could give you the Auchinvar property, which should have belonged to poor Archie, and with the farms and the moor, it would bring you close to three hundred a year for your expenses.”
Colin restrained himself with difficulty, but made quiet answer. “I had rather see it settled as a provision on Mary and her children.”
Colin held himself back with difficulty but replied quietly, “I’d prefer it to be set up as support for Mary and her kids.”
Lord Keith growled something about minding his own concerns.
Lord Keith muttered something about minding his own business.
“That is all I desire,” responded the Colonel, and therewith the conference ended. Nor was the subject recurred to. It was observable, however, that Lord Keith was polite and even attentive to Ermine. He called on her, sent her grouse, and though saying nothing, seemed to wish to make it evident that his opposition was withdrawn, perhaps as no longer considering his brother’s affairs as his own, or else wishing to conciliate him. Lady Temple was not molested by any alarming attentions from him. But for the proclamation, the state of siege might have been unsuspected. He settled himself at the southern Gowanbrae as if he had no conquest to achieve but that of the rheumatism, and fell rapidly into sea-side habits—his morning stroll to see the fishing-boats come in, his afternoon ride, and evening’s dinner party, or whist-club, which latter institution disposed of him, greatly to Colin’s relief. The brothers lived together very amicably, and the younger often made himself helpful and useful to the elder, but evidently did not feel bound to be exclusively devoted to his service and companionship. All the winter residents and most of the neighbouring gentry quickly called at Gowanbrae, and Lord Keith, in the leisure of his present life, liked society where he was the man of most consequence, and readily accepted and gave invitations. Colin, whose chest would not permit him to venture out after sunset, was a most courteous assistant host, but necessarily made fewer acquaintances, and often went his own way, sometimes riding with his brother, but more frequently scarcely seeing him between breakfast and twilight, and then often spending a solitary evening, which he much preferred either to ecarte or to making talk.
"That's all I want," replied the Colonel, and with that, the meeting ended. The topic wasn't brought up again. However, it was noticeable that Lord Keith was polite and even attentive to Ermine. He visited her, sent her grouse, and although he didn’t say much, he seemed to want to show that he had dropped his opposition, possibly no longer viewing his brother’s issues as his own or wishing to smooth things over. Lady Temple didn’t face any troubling attention from him. If it weren't for the announcement, the state of emergency might have gone unnoticed. He settled into Gowanbrae, acting as if his only challenge was to deal with rheumatism, and quickly adopted seaside routines—taking morning walks to watch the fishing boats come in, going for afternoon rides, and attending dinner parties or whist clubs in the evenings, the latter keeping him occupied, which greatly relieved Colin. The brothers shared a harmonious living situation, and the younger one often made himself helpful and useful to the older, but he didn’t feel the need to be solely dedicated to his services and company. All the winter residents and most of the nearby gentry soon visited Gowanbrae, and during his leisurely life, Lord Keith enjoyed being in social situations where he was the most significant person present, readily giving and accepting invitations. Colin, whose health wouldn’t allow him to go out after dark, was a very courteous co-host, but naturally made fewer acquaintances and often chose his own path—sometimes riding with his brother, but more frequently hardly seeing him between breakfast and twilight, and then often spending a solitary evening, which he preferred over playing cards or making small talk.
The summer life had been very different from the winter one. There was much less intercourse with the Homestead, partly from Rachel being much engrossed with the F. U. E. E., driving over whenever the coachman would let her, to inspect progress, and spending much of her time in sending out circulars, answering letters, and writing a tale on the distresses of Woman, and how to help them, entitled “Am I not a Sister?” Tales were not much in Bachel’s line; she despised reading them, and did not love writing them, but she knew that she must sugar the cup for the world, and so she diligently applied herself to the piece de resistance for the destined magazine, heavily weighting her slender thread of story with disquisitions on economy and charity, and meaning to land her heroines upon various industrial asylums where their lot should be far more beatific than marriage, which was reserved for the naughty one to live unhappy in ever after. In fact, Rachel, in her stern consistency, had made up her mind to avoid and discourage the Colonel, and to prevent her own heart from relenting in his favour, or him from having any opportunity of asking an explanation, and with this determination she absented herself both from Ermine’s parlour and Lady Temple’s croquet ground; and if they met on the esplanade or in a morning call, took care never to give the chance of a tete-a-tete, which he was evidently seeking.
The summer life was very different from the winter one. There was a lot less interaction with the Homestead, partly because Rachel was so busy with the F. U. E. E., driving over whenever the coachman would let her, to check on progress, and spending much of her time sending out circulars, answering letters, and writing a story about the struggles of women and how to help them, titled “Am I not a Sister?” Writing stories wasn't really Bachel’s thing; she looked down on reading them and didn't enjoy writing them either, but she knew she had to sweeten the deal for the world, so she diligently focused on the main piece for the upcoming magazine, heavily weighing her slim story with discussions on economics and charity, planning to place her heroines in various industrial asylums where their lives would be much better than marriage, which was reserved for the naughty ones to live unhappily ever after. In fact, Rachel, in her strict consistency, had decided to avoid and discourage the Colonel, to stop her heart from softening toward him, and to prevent him from having any chance to ask for an explanation. With this resolve, she stayed away from both Ermine’s parlor and Lady Temple’s croquet ground; and if they met on the esplanade or during a morning visit, she made sure never to give him the opportunity for a private conversation, which he was clearly trying to have.
The croquet practice still survived. In truth, Fanny was afraid to ride lest Lord Keith should join her, and was glad to surround herself with companions. She could not see the enemy without a nervous trepidation, and was eager to engross herself with anybody or thing that came to hand so as to avoid the necessity of attending to him. More than once did she linger among her boys “to speak to Mr. Touchett,” that she might avoid a ten minutes’ walk with his lordship; and for nothing was she more grateful than for the quiet and ever ready tact with which Bessie Keith threw herself into the breach. That bright damsel was claimed by Lord Keith as a kinswoman, and, accepting the relationship, treated him with the pretty playfulness and coquetry that elderly men enjoy from lively young girls, and thus often effected a diversion in her friend’s favour, to the admiration both of the Colonel and of Lady Temple herself; all, however, by intuition, for not a word had been hinted to her of what had passed during that game at croquet. She certainly was a most winning creature; the Colonel was charmed with her conversation in its shades between archness and good sense, and there was no one who did not look forward with dread to the end of her visit, when after a short stay with one of her married cousins, she must begin her residence with the blind uncle to whose establishment she, in her humility, declared she should be such a nuisance. It was the stranger that she should think so, as she had evidently served her apprenticeship to parish work at Bishopsworthy; she knew exactly how to talk to poor people, and was not only at home in clerical details herself, but infused them into Lady Temple; so that, to the extreme satisfaction of Mr. Touchett, the latter organized a treat for the school-children, offered prizes for needlework, and once or twice even came to listen to the singing practice when anything memorable was going forward. She was much pleased at being helped to do what she felt to be right and kind, though hitherto she had hardly known how to set about it, and had been puzzled and perplexed by Rachel’s disapproval, and semi-contempt of “scratching the surface” by the commonplace Sunday-school system.
The croquet practice was still going strong. In fact, Fanny was nervous about riding in case Lord Keith decided to join her, so she preferred to be around friends. She felt anxious whenever she spotted him and was eager to distract herself with anyone or anything to avoid dealing with him. On several occasions, she hung out with her boys “to talk to Mr. Touchett,” just to skip a ten-minute walk with his lordship; and she was especially grateful for the calm and quick-witted way Bessie Keith came to her rescue. That lively young lady was related to Lord Keith and, accepting that connection, treated him with the charming playfulness that older men appreciate from spirited girls, which often helped divert attention from Fanny, earning admiration from both the Colonel and Lady Temple; all this without anyone mentioning the events of that croquet game. Bessie was truly enchanting; the Colonel was captivated by her conversations that struck a balance between mischief and common sense. No one looked forward to the end of her visit, especially when she planned to head to one of her married cousins for a short while before moving in with her blind uncle, whom she modestly referred to as a potential burden. It was surprising that she felt that way, considering she had clearly trained for charity work at Bishopsworthy; she knew just how to communicate with underprivileged people and not only understood clerical matters herself, but also shared that knowledge with Lady Temple. Consequently, to Mr. Touchett's delight, Lady Temple organized a treat for the local schoolchildren, offered prizes for needlework, and even attended the singing practice on a few occasions when something special was happening. She was really happy to be supported in doing what she believed was good and kind, although until then she had struggled with how to approach it and felt confused by Rachel's disapproval and mild disdain for “scratching the surface” with the typical Sunday-school approach.
CHAPTER XII. A CHANGE AT THE PARSONAGE.
“What could presumptuous hope inspire.”—Rokeby.
“What could bold hope inspire.” —Rokeby.
There had been the usual foretaste of winter, rather sharp for Avonmouth, and though a trifle to what it was in less sheltered places, quite enough to make the heliotropes sorrowful, strip the fig-trees, and shut Colonel Keith up in the library. Then came the rain, and the result was that the lawn of Myrtlewood became too sloppy for the most ardent devotees of croquet; indeed, as Bessie said, the great charm of the sport was that one could not play it above eight months in the year.
There had been the typical hint of winter, pretty chilly for Avonmouth, and although it was a bit milder compared to less sheltered areas, it was still enough to make the heliotropes droop, bare the fig trees, and keep Colonel Keith confined to the library. Then the rain came, and as a result, the lawn at Myrtlewood became too muddy even for the most passionate croquet fans; in fact, as Bessie mentioned, the main appeal of the game was that you couldn't play it for more than eight months out of the year.
The sun came back again, and re-asserted the claim of Avonmouth to be a sort of English Mentone; but drying the lawn was past its power, and Conrade and Francis were obliged to console themselves by the glory of taking Bessie Keith for a long ride. They could not persuade their mother to go with them, perhaps because she had from her nursery-window sympathized with Cyril’s admiration of the great white horse that was being led round to the door of Gowanbrae.
The sun returned and confirmed Avonmouth's reputation as a kind of English Mentone; however, it couldn’t dry the lawn, so Conrade and Francis had to comfort themselves with the excitement of taking Bessie Keith on a long ride. They couldn’t convince their mother to join them, possibly because she had watched from her nursery window and shared Cyril’s admiration for the beautiful white horse that was being brought to the door of Gowanbrae.
She said she must stay at home, and make the morning calls that the charms of croquet had led her to neglect, and in about half an hour from that time she was announced in Miss Williams’ little parlour, and entered with a hurried, panting, almost pursued look, a frightened glance in her eyes, and a flush on her cheek, such as to startle both Ermine and the Colonel.
She said she needed to stay home and make the morning visits that the fun of croquet had caused her to overlook. About half an hour later, she was announced in Miss Williams' small living room and walked in with a rushed, breathless, almost hunted expression, a scared look in her eyes, and a flush on her cheek that surprised both Ermine and the Colonel.
“Oh!” she exclaimed, as if still too much perturbed to know quite what she was saying, “I—I did not mean to interrupt you.”
“Oh!” she exclaimed, still too shaken to know exactly what she was saying, “I—I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
“I’m only helping Rose to change the water of her hyacinths,” said Colonel Keith, withdrawing his eyes and attention to the accommodation of the forest of white roots within the purple glass.
“I’m just helping Rose change the water for her hyacinths,” said Colonel Keith, pulling his gaze away to focus on the tangled mass of white roots inside the purple glass.
“I did not know you were out to-day,” said Lady Temple, recovering herself a little.
“I didn’t know you were out today,” said Lady Temple, regaining her composure a bit.
“Yes, I came to claim my walking companion. Where’s your hat, Rosie?”
“Yes, I came to get my walking buddy. Where’s your hat, Rosie?”
And as the child, who was already equipped all but the little brown hat, stood by her aunt for the few last touches to the throat of her jacket, he leant down and murmured, “I thought he was safe out riding.”
And as the child, who was almost fully dressed except for the little brown hat, stood beside her aunt for the final adjustments to the collar of her jacket, he bent down and whispered, “I thought he was safe out riding.”
“Oh no, no, it is not that,” hastily answered Lady Temple, a fresh suffusion of crimson colour rustling over her face, and inspiring an amount of curiosity that rendered a considerable effort of attention necessary to be as supremely charming a companion as Rose generally found him in the walks that he made it his business to take with her.
“Oh no, no, that’s not it,” Lady Temple quickly replied, a new wave of crimson spreading across her face, sparking a level of curiosity that required quite an effort to maintain the charming demeanor that Rose usually enjoyed during their walks together.
He turned about long before Rose thought they had gone far enough, and when he re-entered the parlour there was such an expectant look on his face that Ermine’s bright eyes glittered with merry mischief, when she sent Rose to take off her walking dress. “Well!” he said.
He turned around long before Rose thought they had gone far enough, and when he went back into the living room, there was such an eager look on his face that Ermine’s bright eyes sparkled with playful mischief as she told Rose to take off her walking dress. “Well!” he said.
“Well? Colin, have you so low an opinion of the dignity of your charge as to expect her to pour out her secrets to the first ear in her way?”
“Well? Colin, do you really think so little of her dignity that you expect her to share her secrets with the first person she meets?”
“Oh, if she has told you in confidence.”
“Oh, if she has shared that with you in private.”
“No, she has not told me in confidence; she knew better.”
“No, she hasn’t told me in confidence; she knew better.”
“She has told you nothing?”
"She hasn't told you anything?"
“Nothing!” and Ermine indulged in a fit of laughter at his discomfiture, so comical that he could not but laugh himself, as he said, “Ah! the pleasure of disappointing me quite consoles you.”
“Nothing!” Ermine burst into laughter at his embarrassment, so funny that he couldn't help but laugh too, as he said, “Ah! The joy of disappointing me really makes you happy, doesn't it?”
“No; the proof of the discretion of womanhood does that! You thought, because she tells all her troubles to you, that she must needs do so to the rest of the world.”
“No; the proof of a woman's discretion shows otherwise! You thought, because she shares all her troubles with you, that she must do the same with everyone else.”
“There is little difference between telling you and me.”
“There’s not much difference between telling you and me.”
“That’s the fault of your discretion, not of hers.”
"That’s your discretion's fault, not hers."
“I should like to know who has been annoying her. I suspect—”
“I’d like to know who's been bothering her. I suspect—”
“So do I. And when you get the confidence at first hand, you will receive it with a better grace than if you had had a contraband foretaste.”
“So do I. And when you get the confidence firsthand, you will accept it with more grace than if you had an illegal sneak peek.”
He smiled. “I thought yours a more confidence-winning face, Ermine.”
He smiled. “I thought you had a more winning smile, Ermine.”
“That depends on my respect for the individual. Now I thought Lady Temple would much prefer my looking another way, and talking about Conrade’s Latin grammar, to my holding out my arms and inviting her to pour into my tender breast what another time she had rather not know that I knew.”
“That depends on how much I respect the person. I thought Lady Temple would rather I looked the other way and talked about Conrade’s Latin grammar than open my arms and invite her to share with me what she’d prefer I didn’t know at another time.”
“That is being an honourable woman,” he said, and Rose’s return ended the exchange of speculations; but it must be confessed that at their next meeting Ermine’s look of suppressed inquiry quite compensated for her previous banter, more especially as neither had he any confidence to reveal or conceal, only the tidings that the riders, whose coalition had justified Lady Temple’s prudence, had met Mr. Touchett wandering in the lanes in the twilight, apparently without a clear idea of what he was doing there. And on the next evening there was quite an excitement, the curate looked so ill, and had broken quite down when he was practising with the choir boys before church; he had, indeed, gone safely through the services, but at school he had been entirely at a loss as to what Sunday it was, and had still more unfortunately forgotten that to be extra civil to Miss Villars was the only hope of retaining her services, for he had walked by her with less attention than if she had been the meanest scholar. Nay, when his most faithful curatolatress had offered to submit to him a design for an illumination for Christmas, he had escaped from her with a desperate and mysterious answer that he had nothing to do with illumination, he hoped it would be as sombre as possible.
"That's what it means to be an honorable woman,” he said, and Rose’s arrival cut off their conversation; however, it must be said that at their next meeting, Ermine’s look of suppressed curiosity made up for her earlier teasing, especially since he had neither secrets to share nor anything to hide, just the news that the riders, whose alliance had proven Lady Temple's caution right, had found Mr. Touchett wandering in the lanes at twilight, seemingly unsure of what he was doing there. The following evening brought quite a stir; the curate looked very unwell and had completely broken down while practicing with the choir boys before church. He had managed to get through the services, but at school, he had been utterly confused about what Sunday it was and, even worse, had forgotten that being extra polite to Miss Villars was his only chance of keeping her help, as he had walked past her with less regard than if she had been the most insignificant student. Furthermore, when his most devoted supporter had offered to show him a design for a Christmas illumination, he had escaped from her with a frantic and cryptic remark that he wanted nothing to do with illumination and hoped it would be as dark as possible.
No wonder Avonmouth was astonished, and that guesses were not confined to Mackarel Lane.
No wonder Avonmouth was shocked, and that speculations weren’t limited to Mackarel Lane.
“Well, Colin,” said Ermine, on the Tuesday, “I have had a first-hand confidence, though from a different quarter. Poor Mr. Touchett came to announce his going away.”
“Well, Colin,” said Ermine on Tuesday, “I got some insider info, but from a different source. Poor Mr. Touchett came to say he’s leaving.”
“Going!”
"Let's go!"
“Yes. In the very nick of time, it seems, Alick Keith has had a letter from his uncle’s curate, asking him to see if he could meet with a southern clergyman to exchange duties for the winter with a London incumbent who has a delicate wife, and of course. Mr. Touchett jumped at it.”
“Yes. Just in the nick of time, it seems, Alick Keith received a letter from his uncle’s curate, asking him to see if he could connect with a southern clergyman to swap duties for the winter with a London vicar who has a delicate wife, and of course, Mr. Touchett was eager to take it up.”
“A very good thing—a great relief.”
“A really good thing—a huge relief.”
“Yes. He said he was very anxious for work, but he had lost ground in this place within the last few months, and he thought that he should do better in a fresh place, and that a fresh person would answer better here, at least for a time. I am very sorry for him, I have a great regard for him.”
“Yes. He said he was really eager to find work, but he had fallen behind here in the last few months, and he felt he would do better in a new place. He thought a new person would perform better here, at least for a while. I feel very sorry for him; I have a lot of respect for him.”
“Yes; but he is quite right to make a fresh beginning. Poor man! he has been quite lifted off his feet, and entranced all this time, and his recovery will be much easier elsewhere. It was all that unlucky croquet.”
“Yes; but he is absolutely right to start over. Poor guy! He has been completely thrown off balance and mesmerized all this time, and it will be much easier for him to recover somewhere else. It was all that unfortunate croquet.”
“I believe it was. I think there was at first a reverential sort of distant admiration, too hopeless to do any one any harm, and that really might have refined him, and given him a little of the gentleman-like tone he has always wanted. But then came the croquet, and when it grew to be a passion it was an excuse for intimacy that it would have taken a stronger head than his to resist.”
“I think it was. At first, there was this kind of distant admiration that was full of respect, too hopeless to cause any harm, and that could have actually improved him, giving him some of the gentlemanly charm he’s always desired. But then came the croquet, and as it became a passion, it provided an excuse for closeness that would have taken a stronger person than him to resist.”
“Under the infection of croquet fever.”
“Under the influence of croquet fever.”
“It is what my father used to say of amusements—the instant they become passions they grow unclerical and do mischief. Now he used, though not getting on with the Curtises, to be most successful with the second-rate people; but he has managed to offend half of them during this unhappy mania, which, of course, they all resent as mercenary, and how he is ever to win them back I don’t know. After all, curatocult is a shallow motive—Rachel Curtis might triumph!”
“It’s what my dad always said about fun—once they turn into obsessions, they lose their charm and can cause trouble. Even though he didn’t get along with the Curtises, he was really successful with the second-rate crowd; but now he’s managed to upset half of them during this unfortunate craze, which they all see as greedy, and I have no idea how he’ll earn their trust back. After all, curatocult is a pretty shallow reason—Rachel Curtis could come out on top!”
“The higher style of clergyman does not govern by curatocult. I hope this one may be of that description, as he comes through Mr. Clare. I wonder if this poor man will return?”
“The higher style of clergyman doesn't lead by curatocult. I hope this one fits that description since he comes through Mr. Clare. I wonder if this poor man will come back?”
“Perhaps,” said Ermine, with a shade of mimicry in her voice, “when Lady Temple is married to the Colonel. There now, I have gone and told you! I did try to resolve I would not.”
“Maybe,” Ermine said, with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “once Lady Temple is married to the Colonel. There, I’ve gone and spilled it! I really did try to keep it to myself.”
“And what did you say?”
“And what did you mean?”
“I thought it due to Lady Temple to tell him exactly how she regarded you.”
"I felt it was necessary to tell him exactly how Lady Temple viewed you."
“Yes, Ermine, and it is due to tell others also. I cannot go on on these terms, either here or at Myrtlewood, unless the true state of the case is known. If you will not let me be a married man, I must be an engaged one, either to you or to the little Banksia.”
“Yes, Ermine, and I need to tell others too. I can't continue like this, either here or at Myrtlewood, unless the real situation is clear. If you won’t let me be a married man, then I have to be an engaged one, either to you or to little Banksia.”
This periphrasis was needful, because Rose was curled up in a corner with a book, and her accessibility to outward impressions was dubious. It might be partly for that reason, partly from the tone of fixed resolve in his voice, that Ermine made answer, “As you please.”
This roundabout way of speaking was necessary since Rose was curled up in a corner with a book, and it was uncertain how open she was to outside influences. It could have been for that reason, or perhaps because of the determined tone in his voice, that Ermine replied, “As you wish.”
It was calmly said, with the sweet, grave, confiding smile that told how she trusted to his judgment, and accepted his will. The look and tone brought his hand at once to press hers in eager gratitude, but still she would not pursue this branch of the subject; she looked up to him and said gently, but firmly, “Yes, it may be better that the true state of the case should be known,” and he felt that she thus conveyed that he must not press her further, so he let her continue, “At first I thought it would do him good, he began pitying us so vehemently; but when he found I did not pity myself, he was as ready to forget our troubles as—you are to forget his,” she added, catching Colin’s fixed eye, more intent on herself than on her narrative.
It was said calmly, with the sweet, serious, trusting smile that showed how much she relied on his judgment and accepted his wishes. The look and tone made him reach for her hand in eager gratitude, but she still wouldn’t pursue that direction of the conversation; she looked up at him and said gently but firmly, “Yes, it might be better for the actual situation to be known,” and he understood that she was signaling he shouldn’t press her any further, so he let her continue, “At first, I thought it would help him; he began to pity us so intensely. But when he realized I didn’t feel sorry for myself, he was just as quick to forget our problems as—you are to forget his,” she added, catching Colin’s fixed gaze, more focused on her than on the story she was telling.
“I beg his pardon, but there are things that come more home.”
“I apologize, but there are things that resonate more deeply.”
“So thought he,” said Ermine.
“So he thought,” said Ermine.
“Did you find out,” said Colin, now quite recalled, “what made him take courage?”
“Did you find out,” Colin said, now fully awake, “what gave him the courage?”
“When he had once come to the subject, it seemed to be a relief to tell it all out, but he was so faltering and agitated that I did not always follow what he said. I gather, though, that Lady Temple has used him a little as a defence from other perils.”
“When he finally started talking about it, it seemed like a relief to share everything, but he was so hesitant and nervous that I couldn’t always understand what he was saying. Still, I gathered that Lady Temple has relied on him a bit as a shield against other dangers.”
“Yes, I have seen that.”
"Yes, I’ve seen that."
“And Miss Keith’s fun has been more encouragement than she knew; constantly summoning him to the croquet-ground, and giving him to understand that Lady Temple liked to have him there. Then came that unlucky day, it seems, when he found Bessie mounting her horse at the door, and she called out that it was too wet for croquet, but Lady Temple was in the garden, and would be glad to see him. She was going to make visits, and he walked down with her, and somehow, in regretting the end of the croquet season, he was surprised into saying how much it had been to him. He says she was exceedingly kind, and regretted extremely that anything should have inspired the hope, said she should never marry again, and entreated him to forget it, then I imagine she fled in here to put an end to it.”
“And Miss Keith’s fun has been more encouraging than she realized; constantly inviting him to the croquet ground and letting him know that Lady Temple liked having him there. Then came that unfortunate day when he saw Bessie getting on her horse at the door, and she called out that it was too wet for croquet, but Lady Temple was in the garden and would be happy to see him. She was going to make visits, and he walked down with her, and somehow, while lamenting the end of the croquet season, he surprised himself by saying how much it had meant to him. He says she was very kind, regretted that anything had sparked that hope, mentioned that she would never marry again, and urged him to forget it; then I imagine she hurried off to put an end to it.”
“She must have been much more gentle this time than she was with Keith. I had never conceived her capable of being so furious as she was then. I am very sorry, I wish we could spare her these things.”
“She must have been way more gentle this time than she was with Keith. I had never imagined she could be so furious like she was back then. I feel really sorry; I wish we could save her from these things.”
“I am afraid that can only be done in one way, which you are not likely at present to take,” said Ermine with a serious mouth, but with light dancing in her eyes.
“I’m afraid that can only be done one way, which you probably aren’t ready for right now,” Ermine said with a serious expression, but her eyes were sparkling with mischief.
“I know no one less likely to marry again,” he continued, “yet no one of whom the world is so unlikely to believe it. Her very gentle simplicity and tenderness tell against her! Well, the only hope now is that the poor man has not made his disappointment conspicuous enough for her to know that it is attributed to her. It is the beginning of the fulfilment of Keith’s prediction that offers and reports will harass her into the deed!”
“I can't think of anyone less likely to marry again,” he continued, “yet I also can't think of anyone the world is less likely to believe it about. Her gentle simplicity and kindness actually work against her! Well, the only hope now is that the poor guy hasn’t made his disappointment obvious enough for her to realize it’s because of her. It’s the start of Keith’s prediction coming true that offers and rumors will pressure her into taking action!”
“There is nothing so fallacious as prophecies against second marriages, but I don’t believe they will. She is too quietly dignified for the full brunt of reports to reach her, and too much concentrated on her children to care about them.”
“There’s nothing as misleading as predictions about second marriages, but I don’t think they will. She is too quietly dignified for the full extent of rumors to affect her, and she’s too focused on her children to care about them.”
“Well, I have to see her to-morrow to make her sign some papers about her pension, so I shall perhaps find out how she takes it.”
“Well, I have to see her tomorrow to get her to sign some papers about her pension, so I might find out how she’s handling it.”
He found Fanny quite her gentle composed self, as usual uncomprehending and helpless about her business affairs, and throwing the whole burthen on him of deciding on her investments; but in such a gracious, dependent, grateful way that he could not but take pleasure in the office, and had no heart for the lesson he had been meditating on the need of learning to act for herself, if she wished to do without a protector. It was not till she had obediently written her “Frances Grace Temple” wherever her prime minister directed, that she said with a crimson blush, “Is it true that poor Mr. Touchett is going away for the winter?”
He found Fanny to be her usual gentle, composed self, completely clueless and helpless when it came to her business affairs, putting all the responsibility on him to decide about her investments. But she did it in such a gracious, dependent, and thankful way that he couldn’t help but enjoy the task and lost his resolve to teach her the necessity of learning to take care of herself if she wanted to be independent. It wasn't until she had obediently written her “Frances Grace Temple” wherever he instructed that she said, with a deep blush, “Is it true that poor Mr. Touchett is leaving for the winter?”
“I believe he is even going before Sunday.”
“I think he's even leaving before Sunday.”
“I am very glad—I mean I am very sorry. Do you think any one knows why it is?”
“I’m really glad—I mean I’m really sorry. Do you think anyone knows why that is?”
“Very few are intimate enough to guess, and those who are, know you too well to think it was otherwise than very foolish on his part.”
"Very few are close enough to guess, and those who are know you too well to think it was anything other than very foolish of him."
“I don’t know,” said Fanny, “I think I must have been foolish too, or he never could have thought of it. And I was so sorry for him, he seemed so much distressed.”
“I don’t know,” said Fanny, “I think I must have been foolish too, or he never could have thought of it. And I felt so bad for him; he seemed really upset.”
“I do not wonder at that, when he had once allowed himself to admit the thought.”
“I’m not surprised by that, especially after he let himself consider the idea.”
“Yes, that is the thing. I am afraid I can’t be what I ought to be, or people would never think of such nonsense,” said Fanny, with large tears welling into her eyes. “I can’t be guarding that dear memory as I ought, to have two such things happening so soon.”
“Yes, that's the thing. I'm afraid I can't be who I'm supposed to be, or people wouldn't think of such nonsense,” said Fanny, with big tears welling up in her eyes. “I can't hold on to that dear memory as I should, especially with two such things happening so quickly.”
“Perhaps they have made you cherish it all the more.”
“Maybe they’ve made you value it even more.”
“As if I wanted that! Please will you tell me how I could have been more guarded. I don’t mind your knowing about this; indeed you ought, for Sir Stephen trusted me to you, but I can’t ask my aunt or any one else. I can’t talk about it, and I would not have them know that Sir Stephen’s wife can’t get his memory more respected.”
“As if I wanted that! Can you please tell me how I could have been more careful? I don’t mind you knowing about this; in fact, you should, since Sir Stephen trusted me to you, but I can’t ask my aunt or anyone else. I can’t discuss it, and I wouldn’t want them to know that Sir Stephen’s wife can’t get his memory treated with more respect.”
She did not speak with anger as the first time, but with most touching sadness.
She didn't speak with anger like before, but with deep sadness.
“I don’t think any one could answer,” he said.
“I don’t think anyone could answer,” he said.
“I did take my aunt’s advice about the officers being here. I have not had them nearly as much as Bessie would have liked, not even Alick. I have been sorry it was so dull for her, but I thought it could not be wrong to be intimate with one’s clergyman, and Rachel was always so hard upon him.”
“I followed my aunt’s advice about the officers being here. I haven’t had them around as much as Bessie would have liked, not even Alick. I felt bad that it was so boring for her, but I thought it couldn’t be wrong to be friendly with one’s clergyman, and Rachel was always so tough on him.”
“You did nothing but what was kind and right. The only possible thing that could have been wished otherwise was the making a regular habit of his playing croquet here.”
“You did nothing but what was kind and right. The only thing that could have been wished differently was the regular habit of him playing croquet here.”
“Ah! but the boys and Bessie liked it so much. However, I dare say it was wrong. Alick never did like it.”
“Ah! But the boys and Bessie enjoyed it so much. Still, I have to admit it was probably wrong. Alick never liked it.”
“Not wrong, only a little overdone. You ladies want sometimes to be put in mind that, because a clergyman has to manage his own time, he is not a whit more really at liberty than a soldier or a lawyer, whose hours are fixed for him. You do not do him or his parish any kindness by engrossing him constantly in pastimes that are all very well once in a way, but which he cannot make habitual without detriment to his higher duties.”
“Not wrong, just a bit excessive. Ladies, you sometimes need to remember that just because a clergyman manages his own time doesn’t mean he’s any more free than a soldier or a lawyer, whose hours are set for them. You’re not doing him or his parish any favors by keeping him constantly busy with activities that are fine once in a while, but which he can’t make a habit without harming his more important responsibilities.”
“But I thought he would have known when he had time.”
“But I thought he would have realized when he had time.”
“I am afraid curates are but bits of human nature after all.”
“I’m afraid curates are just fragments of human nature after all.”
“And what ought I to have done?”
“And what should I have done?”
“If you had been an exceedingly prudent woman who knew the world, you would have done just as you did about the officers, been friendly, and fairly intimate, but instead of ratifying the daily appointments for croquet, have given a special invitation now and then, and so shown that you did not expect him without one.”
“If you had been a very wise woman who understood the world, you would have acted just as you did with the officers—being friendly and quite close. But instead of just confirming the daily croquet games, you should have occasionally extended a special invitation, showing that you didn’t assume he would come without one.”
“I see. Oh, if I had only thought in time, I need not have driven him away from his parish! I hope he won’t go on being unhappy long! Oh, I wish there may be some very nice young lady where he is going. If he only would come back married!”
“I get it. Oh, if I had only realized sooner, I wouldn't have pushed him away from his parish! I hope he won't be unhappy for too long! Oh, I really hope there's a nice young lady where he's going. If only he would come back married!”
“We would give him a vote of thanks.”
“We would give him a thank you.”
“What a wedding present I would make her,” proceeded Fanny, brightening perceptibly; “I would give her my best Indian table, only I always meant that for Ermine. I think she must have the emu’s egg set in Australian gold.”
“What a wedding gift I would be for her,” Fanny continued, her mood lifting noticeably; “I would give her my best Indian table, but I always intended that for Ermine. I think she should have the emu’s egg set in Australian gold.”
“If she were to be induced by the bribe,” said Colonel Keith, laughing, “I think Ermine would be sufficiently provided for by the emu’s egg. Do you know,” he added, after a pause, “I think I have made a great step in that direction.”
“If she were to be influenced by the bribe,” said Colonel Keith, laughing, “I think Ermine would be well taken care of by the emu’s egg. Do you know,” he added after a pause, “I think I’ve made a significant move in that direction.”
She clasped her hands with delighted sympathy. “She has given me leave to mention the matter,” he continued, “and I take that as a sign that her resistance will give way.”
She held her hands together with joyful understanding. “She has allowed me to bring it up,” he continued, “and I see that as a sign that her resistance will fade.”
“Oh, I am very glad,” said Fanny, “I have so wished them to know at the Homestead,” and her deepened colour revealed, against her will, that she had not been insensible to the awkwardness of the secrecy.
“Oh, I’m so glad,” Fanny said, “I really wanted them to know at the Homestead,” and her flushed cheeks showed, despite her efforts, that she hadn’t been oblivious to the awkwardness of keeping it a secret.
“I should rather like to tell your cousin Rachel myself,” said the Colonel; “she has always been very kind to Ermine, and appreciated her more than I should have expected. But she is not easily to be seen now.”
“I would like to tell your cousin Rachel myself,” said the Colonel; “she has always been very kind to Ermine and appreciated her more than I would have expected. But she’s not easy to see right now.”
“Her whole heart is in her orphan asylum,” said Fanny. “I hope you will soon go with us and see it; the little girls look so nice.”
“Her whole heart is in her orphanage,” said Fanny. “I hope you’ll come with us soon to see it; the little girls look so sweet.”
The brightening of his prospects seemed to have quite consoled her for her own perplexities.
The improvement in his future seemed to have really comforted her about her own confusion.
That Avonmouth should have no suspicion of the cause of the sudden change of pastor could hardly be hoped; but at least Lady Temple did not know how much talk was expended upon her, how quietly Lord Keith hugged himself, how many comical stories Bessie detailed in her letters to her Clare cousins, nor how Mrs. Curtis resented the presumption; and while she shrank from a lecture, more especially as she did not see how dear Fanny was to blame, flattered herself and Grace that, for the future, Colonel Keith and Rachel would take better care of her.
That Avonmouth wouldn’t have any idea about the reason behind the sudden change of pastor was pretty much a given; but at least Lady Temple was unaware of how much people were talking about her, how secretly Lord Keith was pleased with himself, how many funny stories Bessie shared in her letters to her Clare cousins, or how Mrs. Curtis felt annoyed by the audacity. As she avoided a lecture, especially since she didn’t see how dear Fanny was at fault, she reassured herself and Grace that, from now on, Colonel Keith and Rachel would look after her better.
Rachel did not dwell much on the subject, it was only the climax of conceit, croquet, and mere womanhood; and she was chiefly anxious to know whether Mr. Mitchell, the temporary clergyman, would support the F. U. E. E., and be liberal enough to tolerate Mr. Mauleverer. She had great hopes from a London incumbent, and, besides, Bessie Keith knew him, and spoke of him as a very sensible, agreeable, earnest man.
Rachel didn't think about it too much; it was just the height of arrogance, croquet, and typical femininity. What she really wanted to know was if Mr. Mitchell, the temporary clergyman, would support the F.U.E.E. and be open-minded enough to put up with Mr. Mauleverer. She had high hopes for a London cleric, plus Bessie Keith knew him and described him as a very reasonable, pleasant, and sincere man.
“Earnest enough for you, Rachel,” she said, laughing.
“Seriously enough for you, Rachel,” she said, laughing.
“Is he a party man?”
“Is he party loyal?”
“Oh, parties are getting obsolete! He works too hard for fighting battles outside.”
“Oh, parties are becoming outdated! He puts in too much effort fighting battles out there.”
The Sunday showed a spare, vigorous face, and a voice and pronunciation far more refined than poor Mr. Touchett’s; also the sermons were far more interesting, and even Rachel granted that there were ideas in it. The change was effected with unusual celerity, for it was as needful to Mrs. Mitchell to be speedily established in a warm climate, as it was desirable to Mr. Touchett to throw himself into other scenes; and the little parsonage soon had the unusual ornaments of tiny children with small spades and wheelbarrows.
The Sunday had a clear, lively vibe, and the speaking style was much more polished than poor Mr. Touchett’s; the sermons were also way more engaging, and even Rachel admitted there were some good ideas in them. The transition happened surprisingly quickly, as it was essential for Mrs. Mitchell to settle into a warm climate fast, just as it was important for Mr. Touchett to immerse himself in different surroundings; soon, the small parsonage was adorned with the unique sights of little kids with tiny shovels and wheelbarrows.
The father and mother were evidently very shy people, with a great deal beneath their timidity, and were much delighted to have an old acquaintance like Miss Keith to help them through their introductions, an office which she managed with all her usual bright tact. The discovery that Stephana Temple and Lucy Mitchell had been born within two days of one another, was the first link of a warm friendship between the two mammas; and Mr. Mitchell fell at once into friendly intercourse with Ermine Williams, to whom Bessie herself conducted him for his first visit, when they at once discovered all manner of mutual acquaintance among his college friends; and his next step was to make the very arrangement for Ermine’s church-going, for which she had long been wishing in secret, but which never having occurred to poor Mr. Touchett, she had not dared to propose, lest there should be some great inconvenience in the way.
The father and mother were clearly very shy people, with a lot going on beneath their timidity, and they were thrilled to have an old friend like Miss Keith help them with their introductions, a task she managed with her usual bright charm. The fact that Stephana Temple and Lucy Mitchell were born just two days apart created the first bond of a warm friendship between the two moms; and Mr. Mitchell quickly became friendly with Ermine Williams, whom Bessie herself brought to meet him on his first visit. They immediately found many mutual friends from his college days, and his next move was to arrange for Ermine's church attendance, something she had been secretly wishing for but never dared to suggest to poor Mr. Touchett, as she was worried there might be some major inconvenience.
Colonel Keith was the person, however, with whom the new comers chiefly fraternized, and he was amused with their sense of the space for breathing compared with the lanes and alleys of their own district. The schools and cottages seemed to them so wonderfully large, the children so clean, even their fishiness a form of poetical purity, the people ridiculously well off, and even Mrs. Kelland’s lace-school a palace of the free maids that weave their thread with bones. Mr. Mitchell seemed almost to grudge the elbow room, as he talked of the number of cubic feet that held a dozen of his own parishioners; and needful as the change had been for the health of both husband and wife, they almost reproached themselves for having fled and left so many pining for want of pure air, dwelling upon impossible castles for the importation of favourite patients to enjoy the balmy breezes of Avonmouth.
Colonel Keith was the one, however, with whom the newcomers mostly connected, and he found their appreciation for the space to breathe amusing compared to the narrow lanes and alleys of their own neighborhood. The schools and cottages seemed incredibly spacious to them, the children looked so clean, and even their fishy smell felt like a poetic kind of purity. The people appeared absurdly wealthy, and even Mrs. Kelland’s lace school felt like a palace for the free maidens who weave their thread with bones. Mr. Mitchell seemed almost resentful of the extra space as he talked about how many cubic feet it took to accommodate a dozen of his own parishioners. And although the escape had been essential for the health of both him and his wife, they nearly felt guilty for leaving so many behind who were suffering from the lack of fresh air, dreaming up impossible plans for bringing their favorite patients to enjoy the refreshing breezes of Avonmouth.
Rachel talked to them about the F. U. E. E., and was delighted by the flush of eager interest on Mrs. Mitchell’s thin face. “Objects” swarmed in their parish, but where were the seven shillings per week to come from? At any rate Mr. Mitchell would, the first leisure day, come over to St. Herbert’s with her, and inspect. He did not fly off at the first hint of Mr. Mauleverer’s “opinions,” but said he would talk to him, and thereby rose steps untold in Rachel’s estimation. The fact of change is dangerously pleasant to the human mind; Mr. Mitchell walked at once into popularity, and Lady Temple had almost conferred a public benefit by what she so little liked to remember. At any rate she had secured an unexceptionable companion, and many a time resorted to his wing, leaving Bessie to amuse Lord Keith, who seemed to be reduced to carry on his courtship to the widow by attentions to her guest.
Rachel spoke to them about the F. U. E. E., and was thrilled by the look of eager interest on Mrs. Mitchell’s thin face. “Objects” were abundant in their community, but where would the seven shillings a week come from? At least Mr. Mitchell promised to come over to St. Herbert’s with her on the first day he had free, and check it out. He didn’t back off at the first mention of Mr. Mauleverer’s “opinions,” but said he would talk to him, which made him seem much more admirable in Rachel’s eyes. The idea of change is dangerously appealing to people; Mr. Mitchell quickly gained popularity, and Lady Temple had almost done a public service by something she preferred to forget. At the very least, she had found a reliable companion and often relied on him, leaving Bessie to entertain Lord Keith, who seemed to have resorted to wooing the widow through attentions to her guest.
CHAPTER XIII. THE FOX AND THE CROW.
“She just gave one squall, When the cheese she let fall, And the fox ran away with his prize.” JANE TAYLOR.
“She just let out a loud cry, When the cheese fell from her, And the fox ran off with his prize.” JANE TAYLOR.
“My dear,” said Mrs. Curtis, one Monday morning, “I offered Colonel Keith a seat in the carriage to go to the annual book-club meeting with us. Mr. Spicer is going to propose him as a member of the club, you know, and I thought the close carriage would be better for him. I suppose you will be ready by eleven; we ought to set out by that time, not to hurry the horses.”
“My dear,” said Mrs. Curtis, one Monday morning, “I invited Colonel Keith to ride with us in the carriage to the annual book club meeting. Mr. Spicer is going to nominate him for membership, you know, and I thought the closed carriage would be more comfortable for him. I assume you’ll be ready by eleven; we should leave around then so we don’t rush the horses.”
“I am not going,” returned Rachel, an announcement that electrified her auditors, for the family quota of books being quite insufficient for her insatiable appetite, she was a subscriber on her own account, and besides, this was the grand annual gathering for disposing of old books, when she was relied on for purchasing all the nuts that nobody else would crack. The whole affair was one of the few social gatherings that she really tolerated and enjoyed, and her mother gazed at her in amazement.
“I’m not going,” Rachel said, a statement that shocked everyone around her. The family’s share of books wasn’t nearly enough for her endless craving, so she had her own subscription. Plus, this was the big annual event for getting rid of old books, where she was expected to buy all the books nobody else wanted. It was one of the few social events that she actually enjoyed, and her mother looked at her in disbelief.
“I wrote to Mrs. Spicer a month ago to take my name off. I have no superfluous money to spend on my selfish amusement.”
“I wrote to Mrs. Spicer a month ago to remove my name. I have no extra money to waste on my own enjoyment.”
“But Rachel,” said Grace, “did you not particularly want—oh! that fat red book which came to us uncut?”
“But Rachel,” Grace said, “didn’t you really want—oh! that thick red book that came to us uncut?”
“I did, but I must do without it.”
“I did, but I have to do without it.”
“Poor Mr. Spicer, he reckoned on you to take it; indeed, he thought you had promised him.”
“Poor Mr. Spicer, he was counting on you to take it; in fact, he thought you had promised him.”
“If there is anything like a promise, I suppose it must be done, but I do not believe there is. I trust to you, Grace, you know I have nothing to waste.”
“If there’s any kind of promise, I guess it has to be kept, but I don’t think there is one. I’m counting on you, Grace; you know I don’t have anything to spare.”
“You had better go yourself, my dear, and then you would be able to judge. It would be more civil by the society, too.”
“You should go yourself, my dear, and then you can see for yourself. It would be more polite in society, too.”
“No matter, indeed I cannot; in fact, Mr. Mauleverer is coming this morning to give his report and arrange our building plans. I want to introduce him to Mr. Mitchell, and fix a day for going over.”
“No worries, I really can’t; actually, Mr. Mauleverer is coming this morning to give his report and sort out our building plans. I want to introduce him to Mr. Mitchell and set a day for going over everything.”
Mrs. Curtis gave up in despair, and consulted her eldest daughter in private whether there could have been any misunderstanding with Colonel Keith to lead Rachel to avoid him in a manner that was becoming pointed. Grace deemed it nothing but absorption into the F. U. E. E., and poor Mrs. Curtis sighed over this fleeting away of her sole chance of seeing Rachel like other people. Of Mr. Mauleverer personally she had no fears, he was in her eyes like a drawing or music-master, and had never pretended to be on equal terms in society with her daughters, and she had no doubts or scruples in leaving Rachel to her business interview with him, though she much regretted this further lapse from the ordinary paths of sociability.
Mrs. Curtis gave up in despair and privately asked her eldest daughter if there could have been any misunderstanding with Colonel Keith that might cause Rachel to avoid him in such an obvious way. Grace thought it was just Rachel being absorbed in the F. U. E. E., and poor Mrs. Curtis sighed over the loss of her only chance to see Rachel interact like everyone else. She had no worries about Mr. Mauleverer; to her, he was like a drawing or music teacher, and he never pretended to be on the same social level as her daughters. She felt confident leaving Rachel to her meeting with him, even though she regretted this further deviation from usual social norms.
Rachel, on the other hand, felt calmly magnanimous in the completion of a veritable sacrifice, for those books had afforded her much enjoyment, and she would much like to have possessed many of those that would be tossed aside at a cheap rate. But the constant small expenses entailed by the first setting on foot such an establishment as the F. U. E. E. were a heavy drain on her private purse, as she insisted on all accounts being brought to her, and then could not bear that these small nondescript matters should be charged upon the general fund, which having already paid the first half-year’s rent in advance, and furnished the house, must be recruited by some extraordinary supply before she could build. The thing could not be done at all but by rigid economy, and she was ready to exercise it, and happy in so doing. And the Colonel? She thought the pain of her resolution was passing. After all, it was not so dreadful as people would have one believe, it was no such wrench as novels described to make up one’s mind to prefer a systematically useful life to an agreeable man.
Rachel, on the other hand, felt calmly generous about completing a true sacrifice, because those books had given her a lot of joy, and she would have loved to own many of the ones that would be thrown away at a low price. But the constant small expenses involved in starting up an establishment like the F. U. E. E. were a big drain on her personal finances, as she insisted on being informed of all expenses and couldn’t stand the thought of these minor, unclassifiable costs being charged to the general fund, which had already covered the first half-year’s rent in advance and furnished the house. It needed to be replenished with some extraordinary funds before she could build. The whole thing could only be managed through strict budgeting, and she was willing to make those sacrifices, feeling good about it. And the Colonel? She thought the pain of her decision was fading. After all, it wasn’t as terrible as people made it out to be; it wasn’t such a struggle, as novels described, to decide to choose a systematically useful life over a charming man.
Mr. Mauleverer came, with a good report of the children’s progress, and talking quite enthusiastically of Lovedy’s sweetness and intelligence. Perhaps she would turn out a superior artist, now that chill penury no longer repressed her noble rage, and he further brought a small demand for drawing materials and blocks for engraving, to the amount of five pounds, which Rachel defrayed from the general fund, but sighed over its diminution.
Mr. Mauleverer arrived with a positive update on the kids' progress and spoke enthusiastically about Lovedy’s kindness and intelligence. She might become an exceptional artist now that financial struggles no longer stifled her talent. He also requested some drawing materials and blocks for engraving, totaling five pounds, which Rachel covered from the general fund, but she sighed at the shrinking amount.
“If I could only make the Barnaby bargain available,” she said; “it is cruel to have it tied up to mere apprenticeships, which in the present state of things are absolutely useless, or worse.”
“If only I could make the Barnaby deal available,” she said; “it’s so unfair to have it tied to simple apprenticeships, which right now are totally useless, or worse.”
“Can nothing be done?”
"Is there nothing we can do?"
“You shall hear. Dame Rachel Curtis, in 1605, just when this place was taking up lace-making, an art learnt, I believe, from some poor nuns that were turned out of St. Mary’s, at Avoncester, thought she did an immense benefit to the place by buying the bit of land known as Burnaby’s Bargain, and making the rents go yearly to apprentice two poor girls born of honest parents. The rent is fourteen pounds, and so the fees are so small that only the small lace-makers here will accept them. I cannot get the girls apprenticed to anything better in the towns except for a much larger premium.”
“You will hear. Dame Rachel Curtis, in 1605, right when this place was starting lace-making, an art that I believe was learned from some poor nuns who were kicked out of St. Mary’s at Avoncester, thought she did a great favor for the community by buying the piece of land known as Burnaby’s Bargain and using the rents each year to apprentice two poor girls from honest families. The rent is fourteen pounds, and the fees are so low that only the small lace-makers here will take them. I can’t get the girls apprenticed to anything better in the towns unless I pay a much larger premium.”
“Do I understand you that such a premium is at present to be bestowed?”
“Are you saying that such a reward is to be given right now?”
“No, not till next June. The two victims for this year have been sacrificed. But perhaps another time it might be possible to bind them to you as a wood engraver or printer!” cried Rachel, joyfully.
“Not until next June. The two victims for this year have already been sacrificed. But maybe next time we could connect you with them as a wood engraver or printer!” Rachel exclaimed, happily.
“I should be most happy. But who would be the persons concerned?”
“I should be really happy. But who would the people involved be?”
“The trustees are the representative of our family and the rector of the parish—not Mr. Touchett (this is only a district), but poor old Mr. Linton at Avonbridge, who is barely able to sign the papers, so that practically it all comes to me.”
“The trustees represent our family and the parish rector—not Mr. Touchett (that's just a district), but poor old Mr. Linton at Avonbridge, who can hardly manage to sign the papers, so it really all comes down to me.”
“Extremely fortunate for the objects of the charity.”
“Very lucky for the recipients of the charity.”
“I wish it were so; but if it could only be made available in such a cause as ours, I am sure my good namesake’s intentions would be much better carried out than by binding these poor girls down to their cushions. I did once ask about it, but I was told it could only be altered by Act of Parliament.”
“I wish it were true; but if it could only be made possible for a cause like ours, I’m sure my good friend’s intentions would be much better achieved than by forcing these poor girls to stay on their cushions. I did ask about it once, but I was told it could only be changed by an Act of Parliament.”
“Great facilities have of late been given,” said Mr. Mauleverer, “many old endowments have most beneficially extended their scope. May I ask where the land in question is?”
“Recently, there have been great improvements,” said Mr. Mauleverer. “Many old endowments have significantly expanded their reach. Can I ask where the land in question is?”
“It is the level bit of meadow just by the river, and all the slope down to the mouth; it has always been in our hands, and paid rent as part of the farm. You know how well it looks from the garden-seat, but it always grieves me when people admire it, for I feel as if it were thrown away.”
“It’s the flat piece of meadow right by the river, and all the way down to the mouth; it’s always been ours, and we paid rent for it as part of the farm. You know how nice it looks from the garden seat, but it always makes me sad when people praise it, because I feel like it’s being wasted.”
“Ah! I understand. Perhaps if I could see the papers I could judge of the feasibility of some change.”
“Ah! I get it. Maybe if I could take a look at the papers, I could evaluate whether some change is possible.”
Rachel gladly assented, and knowing where to find the keys of the strong box, she returned in a short space with a parcel tied up with, red tape, and labelled “Barnaby’s Bargain.”
Rachel happily agreed, and knowing where to find the keys to the safe, she came back shortly with a package tied up with red tape and labeled “Barnaby’s Bargain.”
“I have been thinking,” she exclaimed, as she came in, “that that piece of land must have grown much more valuable since this rent was set on it! Fourteen pounds a year, why we never thought of it; but surely in such a situation, it would be worth very much more for building purposes.”
“I’ve been thinking,” she said enthusiastically as she walked in, “that land must be way more valuable since this rent was established! Fourteen pounds a year—how did we not consider this? In a location like that, it’s definitely worth a lot more for building purposes.”
“There can be no doubt. But your approach, Miss Curtis?”
“There’s no doubt about it. But what about your approach, Miss Curtis?”
“If it is a matter of justice to the charity, of course that could not be weighed a moment. But we must consider what is to be done. Get the land valued, and pay rent for it accordingly? I would give it up to its fate, and let it for what it would bring, but it would break my mother’s heart to see it built on.”
“If this is about fairness to the charity, then that shouldn’t even be a question. But we need to think about what to do next. Should we get the land appraised and pay rent based on that? I would just leave it to whatever happens and rent it out for whatever we could get, but it would really upset my mom to see anything built on it.”
“Perhaps I had better take the papers and look over them. I see they will need much consideration.”
“Maybe I should take the papers and review them. I can tell they’ll require a lot of thought.”
“Very well, that will be the best way, but we will say nothing about it till we have come to some conclusion, or we shall only startle and distress my mother. After all, then, I do believe we have the real income of the F. U. E. E. within our very hands! It might be ten times what it is now.”
“Alright, that sounds like the best plan, but let’s keep quiet about it until we’ve reached a decision, or we’ll just shock and upset my mom. Anyway, I really think we actually have the true income of the F. U. E. E. right here with us! It could be ten times what it is now.”
Rachel was in higher spirits than ever. To oblige the estate to pay £140 a year to the F. U. E. E. was beyond measure delightful, and though it would be in fact only taking out of the family pocket, yet that was a pocket she could not otherwise get at. The only thing for which she was sorry was that Mr. Mauleverer had an appointment, and could not come with her to call on Mr. Mitchell; but instead of this introduction, as she had sworn herself to secrecy rather than worry her mother till the ways and means were matured, she resolved, by way of compensation, upon going down to impart to Ermine Williams this grave reformation of abuses, since this was an afternoon when there was no chance of meeting the Colonel.
Rachel was happier than ever. Forcing the estate to pay £140 a year to the F. U. E. E. was incredibly satisfying, and even though it was basically just transferring money from the family’s pocket, it was a pocket she couldn’t access otherwise. The only thing she regretted was that Mr. Mauleverer had a prior engagement and couldn’t join her to visit Mr. Mitchell. However, since she had promised to keep things secret to avoid worrying her mother until everything was in place, she decided to go and share this important news about the changes with Ermine Williams, especially since it was an afternoon when she wouldn’t run into the Colonel.
Very happy did she feel in the hope that had come to crown her efforts at the very moment when she had actually and tangibly given up a pleasure, and closed a door opening into worldly life, and she was walking along with a sense of almost consecrated usefulness, to seek her companion in the path of maiden devotion, when in passing the gates of Myrtlewood, she was greeted by Captain Keith and his bright-eyed sister, just coming forth together.
She felt very happy in the hope that had finally rewarded her efforts at the exact moment when she had truly given up a pleasure and closed a door to worldly life. She was walking with a sense of almost sacred usefulness, seeking her companion in the journey of pure devotion. As she passed the gates of Myrtlewood, she was greeted by Captain Keith and his bright-eyed sister, who were just coming out together.
A few words told that they were all bound for Mackarel Lane, actuated by the same probability of finding Miss Williams alone, the Colonel being absent.
A few words revealed that they were all heading to Mackarel Lane, motivated by the same chance of finding Miss Williams alone, with the Colonel being out.
“Wonderfully kind to her he is,” said Rachel, glad to praise him to convince herself that she did not feel bitter; “he takes that little girl out walking with him every morning.”
“He's wonderfully kind to her,” Rachel said, happy to compliment him to convince herself that she didn’t feel bitter; “he takes that little girl out for a walk with him every morning.”
“I wonder if his constancy will ever be rewarded?” said Bessie, lightly; then, as Rachel looked at her in wonder and almost rebuke for so direct and impertinent a jest, she exclaimed, “Surely you are not in ignorance! What have I done? I thought all the world knew—all the inner world, that is, that revels in a secret.”
“I wonder if his loyalty will ever pay off?” said Bessie, casually; then, as Rachel looked at her in surprise and nearly scolded her for such a blunt and cheeky joke, she exclaimed, “Surely you're not clueless! What have I done? I thought everyone knew—all the inner circle, that is, that enjoys a secret.”
“Knew what?” said Rachel, unavoidable intolerable colour rushing into her face.
“Knew what?” said Rachel, an unavoidable flush rushing into her face.
“Why the romance of Colin and Ermine! To live on the verge of such a—a tragi-comedy, is it? and not be aware of it, I do pity you.”
“Why the romance of Colin and Ermine! To live on the edge of such a—what is it? A tragi-comedy? And not even realize it, I really feel sorry for you.”
“The only wonder is how you knew it,” said her brother, in a tone of repression.
“The only wonder is how you knew that,” her brother said, in a suppressed tone.
“I! Oh, it is a fine thing to be a long-eared little pitcher when one’s elders imagine one hears nothing but what is addressed to oneself. There I sat, supposed to be at my lessons, when the English letters came in, and I heard papa communicating to mamma how he had a letter from old Lord Keith—not this one but one older still—the father of him—about his son’s exchange—wanted papa to know that he was exemplary and all that, and hoped he would be kind to him, but just insinuated that leave was not desirable—in fact it was to break off an affair at home. And then, while I was all on fire to see what a lover looked like, comes another letter, this time to mamma, from Lady Alison something, who could not help recommending to her kindness her dear nephew Colin, going out broken-hearted at what was feared would prove a fatal accident, to the dearest, noblest girl in the world, for so she must call Ermine Williams. Ermine was a name to stick in one’s memory if Williams was not, and so I assumed sufficient certainty to draw it all out of dear Lady Temple.”
“I! Oh, it’s a wonderful thing to be a long-eared little listener when your elders think you hear only what’s directed at you. There I sat, supposed to be studying, when the English letters arrived, and I heard Dad telling Mom he got a letter from old Lord Keith—not this one, but an even older one—the father of the current one—about his son’s transfer—wanted Dad to know he was great and all that, and hoped he’d be nice to him, but casually mentioned that leave wasn’t a good idea—in fact, it was to cut off a situation at home. And then, as I was dying to see what a lover looked like, another letter came, this time to Mom, from Lady Alison something, who couldn’t help but recommend her dear nephew Colin, going out heartbroken over what was feared to be a fatal accident involving the dearest, noblest girl in the world, for so she must refer to Ermine Williams. Ermine was a name that stuck in your mind, whether Williams did or not, and so I felt confident enough to get the whole story out of dear Lady Temple.”
“She knows then?” said Rachel, breathlessly, but on her guard.
“She knows now?” Rachel asked, breathless but alert.
“Know? Yes, or she could hardly make such a brother of the Colonel. In fact, I think it is a bit of treachery to us all to keep such an affair concealed, don’t you?” with a vivid flash out of the corner of her eyes.
“Know? Yes, or she could hardly have the Colonel as a brother. In fact, I think it's a bit treacherous to keep something like this hidden from all of us, don’t you?” she said, with a bright flash from the corner of her eyes.
“Treachery not to post up a list of all one’s—”
“Treachery not to post up a list of all one’s—”
“One’s conquests?” said Bessie, snatching the word out of her brother’s mouth. “Did you ever hear a more ingenious intimation of the number one has to boast?”
"One's achievements?" Bessie said, cutting her brother off. "Have you ever heard a more clever way to brag about how many you've got?"
“Only in character,” calmly returned Alick.
"Only in character," Alick replied calmly.
“But do not laugh,” said Rachel, who had by this time collected herself; “if this is so, it must be far too sad and melancholy to be laughed about.”
“But don’t laugh,” said Rachel, who had by this point gathered herself; “if this is true, it must be way too sad and gloomy to laugh about.”
“So it is,” said Alick, with a tone of feeling. “It has been a mournful business from the first, and I do not see how it is to end.”
“So it is,” Alick said with a heartfelt tone. “It has been a sad affair from the beginning, and I don’t see how it will end.”
“Why, I suppose Colonel Colin is his own master now,” said Bessie; “and if he has no objection I do not see who else can make any.”
“Why, I guess Colonel Colin is his own boss now,” said Bessie; “and if he doesn’t mind, I don’t see who else would have a say.”
“There are people in the world who are what Tennyson calls ‘selfless,’” returned Alick.
“There are people in the world who are what Tennyson calls ‘selfless,’” replied Alick.
“Then the objection comes from her?” said Rachel, anxiously.
“Then the objection comes from her?” Rachel said, anxiously.
“So saith Lady Temple,” returned Bessie.
“That's what Lady Temple said,” Bessie replied.
They were by this time in Mackarel Lane. Rachel would have given much to have been able to turn back and look this strange news in the face, but consciousness and fear of the construction that might be put on her change of purpose forced her on, and in a few moments the three were in the little parlour, where Ermine’s station was now by the fire. There could be no doubt, as Rachel owned to herself instantly, that there was a change since she first had studied that face. The bright colouring, and far more, the active intellect and lively spirit, had always obviated any expression of pining or invalidism; but to the air of cheerfulness was added a look of freshened health and thorough happiness, that rendered the always striking features absolutely beautiful; more so, perhaps, than in their earliest bloom; and the hair and dress, though always neat, and still as simply arranged as possible, had an indescribable air of care and taste that added to the effect of grace and pleasantness, and made Rachel feel convinced in a moment that the wonder would have been not in constancy to such a creature but in inconstancy. The notion that any one could turn from that brilliant, beaming, refined face to her own, struck her with a sudden humiliation. There was plenty of conversation, and her voice was not immediately wanted; indeed, she hardly attended to what was passing, and really dreaded outstaying the brother and sister. When Ermine turned to her, and asked after Lovedy Kelland in her new home, she replied like one in a dream, then gathered herself up and answered to the point, but feeling the restraint intolerable, soon rose to take leave.
They were now on Mackarel Lane. Rachel would have given a lot to turn back and face this strange news, but the awareness and fear of what people might think about her change of mind made her keep moving forward. In just a few moments, the three of them were in the little parlor, where Ermine was now sitting by the fire. Rachel immediately recognized there was a change since the first time she had looked at that face. The bright colors, and especially the sharp intelligence and lively spirit, had always prevented any signs of sadness or poor health; but now, in addition to the cheerful demeanor, there was a look of renewed health and true happiness that made her already striking features downright beautiful—perhaps even more so than when they were at their freshest; and although the hair and dress were always neat and simply styled, there was an indescribable touch of care and taste that enhanced the grace and pleasantness, convincing Rachel in an instant that it would be more surprising for anyone to turn away from such a radiant, refined face than to remain constant. The thought that someone could look from that brilliant, glowing face to her own hit her with a sudden sense of humiliation. There was plenty of conversation, and her voice wasn't needed right away; in fact, she barely paid attention to what was happening and truly feared overstaying her welcome with the brother and sister. When Ermine turned to her and asked about Lovedy Kelland in her new home, she responded as if in a daze, then collected herself and answered more directly. Finding the pressure unbearable, she soon stood up to say her goodbyes.
“So soon?” said Ermine; “I have not seen you for a long time.”
“So soon?” Ermine said. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“I—I was afraid of being in the way,” said Rachel, the first time probably that such a fear had ever suggested itself to her, and blushing as Ermine did not blush.
“I—I was afraid of being a burden,” Rachel said, probably for the first time she had ever felt such fear, blushing in a way that Ermine did not.
“We are sure to be alone after twilight,” said Ermine, “if that is not too late for you, but I know you are much occupied now.”
“We'll definitely be alone after dark,” said Ermine, “if that’s not too late for you, but I know you’re really busy right now.”
Somehow that invalid in her chair had the dignity of a queen appointing her levee, and Rachel followed the impulse of thanking and promising, but then quickly made her escape to her own thoughts.
Somehow, that person in the chair had the dignity of a queen calling her meeting, and Rachel felt the urge to express her gratitude and make promises, but then quickly retreated into her own thoughts.
“Her whole soul is in that asylum,” said Ermine, smiling as she went. “I should like to hear that it is going on satisfactorily, but she does not seem to have time even to talk.”
“Her whole heart is in that place,” said Ermine, smiling as she left. “I’d love to hear that everything is going well, but she doesn’t seem to have time to even chat.”
“The most wonderful consummation of all,” observed Bessie.
“The most amazing conclusion of all,” Bessie remarked.
“No,” said Ermine, “the previous talk was not chatter, but real effervescence from the unsatisfied craving for something to do.”
“No,” said Ermine, “the earlier conversation wasn’t idle talk; it was genuine excitement from the unfulfilled desire to do something.”
“And has she anything to do now?” said Bessie.
“And does she have anything to do now?” Bessie asked.
“That is exactly what I want to know. It would be a great pity if all this real self-devotion were thrown away.”
"That’s exactly what I want to find out. It would be such a shame if all this genuine selflessness went to waste."
“It cannot be thrown away,” said Alick.
“It can’t be thrown away,” said Alick.
“Not on herself,” said Ermine, “but one would not see it misdirected, both for the waste of good energy and the bitter disappointment.”
“Not about herself,” said Ermine, “but you wouldn't want to see it wasted, both for the loss of valuable energy and the harsh disappointment.”
“Well,” said Bessie, “I can’t bear people to be so dreadfully in earnest!”
“Well,” said Bessie, “I can’t stand it when people are so seriously intense!”
“You are accountable for the introduction, are not you?” said Ermine.
"You’re responsible for the introduction, right?" said Ermine.
“I’m quite willing! I think a good downfall plump would be the most wholesome thing that could happen to her; and besides, I never told her to take the man for her almoner and counsellor! I may have pointed to the gulf, but I never bade Curtia leap into it.”
“I’m totally on board! I think a solid downfall for her would be the best thing that could happen; plus, I never told her to take the guy as her financial advisor and guide! I might have suggested the danger, but I never told Curtia to jump into it.”
“I wish there were any one to make inquiries about this person,” said Ermine; “but when Colonel Keith came it was too late. I hoped she might consult him, but she has been so much absorbed that she really has never come in his way.”
“I wish there was someone to ask about this person,” said Ermine; “but by the time Colonel Keith arrived, it was too late. I had hoped she might talk to him, but she has been so caught up in her own world that she hasn’t really had a chance to cross paths with him.”
“She would never consult any one,” said Bessie.
“She would never ask anyone for advice,” said Bessie.
“I am not sure of that,” replied Ermine. “I think that her real simplicity is what makes her appear so opinionated. I verily believe that there is a great capability of humility at the bottom.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” replied Ermine. “I think her true simplicity is what makes her seem so opinionated. I really believe there’s a deep capacity for humility underneath.”
“Of the gulf,” laughed Bessie; but her brother said, “Quite true. She has always been told she is the clever woman of the family, and what can she do but accept the position?”
“About the gulf,” Bessie laughed; but her brother said, “That’s accurate. She’s always been told she’s the smartest one in the family, and what can she do but accept that role?”
“Exactly,” said Ermine; “every one has given way to her, and, of course, she walks over their bodies, but there is something so noble about her that I cannot but believe that she will one day shake herself clear of her little absurdities.”
“Exactly,” said Ermine; “everyone has given in to her, and, of course, she takes advantage of that, but there’s something so noble about her that I can’t help but believe that one day she’ll free herself from her little quirks.”
“That is contrary to the usual destiny of strong-minded women,” said Bessie.
"That goes against the typical fate of strong-minded women," Bessie said.
“She is not a strong-minded woman, she only has been made to believe herself one,” said Ermine, warmly.
“She’s not a strong-minded woman; she just thinks she is,” said Ermine, passionately.
With this last encounter, Bessie and her brother took leave, and the last at once exclaimed, in sentimental tones, “Generous rivals! I never saw so good a comedy in all my days! To disclose the fatal truth, and then bring the rival fair ones face to face!”
With this last meeting, Bessie and her brother said goodbye, and her brother immediately exclaimed, in a sentimental tone, “Generous rivals! I've never seen such a great comedy in all my life! To reveal the tragic truth and then have the rival ladies face each other!”
“If that were your belief, Bessie, the demon of teasing has fuller possession of you than I knew.”
“If that's what you believe, Bessie, the teasing demon has more control over you than I realized.”
“Ah! I forgot,” exclaimed Bessie, “it is tender ground with you likewise. Alas! Alick, sisterly affection cannot blind me to the fact of that unrequited admiration for your honourable rival.”
“Ah! I forgot,” Bessie exclaimed, “you’re on sensitive ground too. Unfortunately, Alick, sisterly love can’t keep me from seeing that unreturned admiration for your respectable rival.”
“What, from the strong-minded Curtia?”
“What, from the determined Curtia?”
“Ah! but have we not just heard that this is not the genuine article, only a country-made imitation? No wonder it was not proof against an honourable colonel in a brown beard.”
“Ah! But didn’t we just hear that this isn’t the real deal, just a homemade imitation? No surprise it couldn’t stand up to an honorable colonel with a brown beard.”
“So much the better; only unluckily there has been a marked avoidance of him.”
“So much the better; unfortunately, he has been noticeably avoided.”
“Yes; the Colonel was sacrificed with all other trivial incidents at the shrine of the F. U. L. E.—E. E., I mean. And only think of finding out that one has been sacrificing empty air after all—and to empty air!”
“Yes; the Colonel was sacrificed along with all the other insignificant events at the altar of the F. U. L. E.—E. E., I mean. And just imagine discovering that you've been sacrificing nothing but empty air all this time—and to nothing!”
“Better than to sacrifice everything to oneself,” said Alick.
“It's better not to sacrifice everything for yourself,” said Alick.
“Not at all. The latter practice is the only way to be agreeable! By-the-bye, Alick, I wonder if she will deign to come to the ball?”
“Not at all. The latter practice is the only way to be agreeable! By the way, Alick, I wonder if she will be willing to come to the ball?”
“What ball?”
"What party?"
“Your ball at Avoncester. It is what I am staying on for! Major McDonald all but promised me one; and you know you must give one before you leave this place.”
“Your ball at Avoncester. That's why I'm staying! Major McDonald practically promised me one; and you know you need to throw one before you leave this place.”
“Don’t you know that poor Fraser has just been sent for home on his sister’s death?”
“Don’t you know that poor Fraser has just been called home because of his sister’s death?”
“But I conclude the whole regiment does not go into mourning?”
“But I take it that the entire regiment isn’t going into mourning?”
“No, but Fraser is the one fellow to whom this would be real enjoyment. Indeed, I particularly wish no hints may be given about it. Don’t deny, I know you have ways of bringing about what you wish, and I will not have them used here. I know something of the kind must be done before we leave Avoncester, but to give one this autumn would be much sooner than needful. I believe there is hardly an officer but myself and Fraser to whom the expense would not be a serious consideration, and when I tell you my father had strong opinions about overdoing reciprocities of gaiety, and drawing heavily on the officers’ purses for them, I do not think you will allow their regard for him to take that manifestation towards you.”
“No, but Fraser is the one person who would actually enjoy this. Honestly, I really hope no hints are dropped about it. Don’t deny it, I know you have ways of getting what you want, and I won’t have them used here. I realize something needs to be done before we leave Avoncester, but planning this for autumn would be way too soon. I believe hardly any officer except for me and Fraser would consider the cost lightly, and when I tell you my father had strong opinions about going overboard with social events and heavily taxing the officers’ wallets for them, I don’t think you’ll let their respect for him take on that form towards you.”
“Of course not,” said Bessie, warmly; “I will not think of it again. Only when the fate does overtake you, you will have me here for it, Alick?”
“Of course not,” Bessie replied warmly; “I won’t think about it again. Just remember, when fate catches up to you, you’ll have me here for it, Alick?”
He readily promised, feeling gratified at the effect of having spoken to his sister with full recognition of her good sense.
He quickly promised, feeling pleased that he had spoken to his sister, fully aware of her common sense.
Meantime Rachel was feeling something of what Bessie ascribed to her, as if her sacrifice had been snatched away, and a cloud placed in its stead. Mortification was certainly present, and a pained feeling of having been made a fool of, whether by the Colonel or herself, her candid mind could hardly decide; but she was afraid it was by herself. She knew she had never felt sure enough of his attentions to do more than speculate on what she would do if they should become more pointed, and yet she felt angry and sore at having been exposed to so absurd a blunder by the silence of the parties concerned. “After all,” she said to herself, “there can be no great harm done, I have not been weak enough to commit my heart to the error. I am unscathed, and I will show it by sympathy for Ermine. Only—only, why could not she have told me?”
In the meantime, Rachel was experiencing some of what Bessie attributed to her, as if her sacrifice had been taken away and replaced with a cloud. She definitely felt humiliated and had the painful sense of having been made a fool, whether by the Colonel or herself, her honest mind couldn't quite figure out; but she feared it was herself. She knew she had never felt confident enough in his attentions to do more than think about what she would do if they became more obvious, and yet she felt angry and hurt for having been subjected to such an absurd mistake due to the silence of those involved. “After all,” she told herself, “there’s not much harm done; I haven’t been weak enough to invest my heart in this mistake. I’m unscathed, and I’ll show it by being sympathetic to Ermine. Only—only, why couldn’t she have just told me?”
An ordeal was coming for which Rachel was thus in some degree prepared. On the return of the party from the book club, Mrs. Curtis came into Rachel’s sitting-room, and hung lingering over the fire as if she had something to say, but did not know how to begin. At last, however, she said, “I do really think it is very unfair, but it was not his fault, he says.”
An ordeal was approaching that Rachel was somewhat ready for. When the group returned from the book club, Mrs. Curtis entered Rachel’s living room and hovered by the fire as if she had something to say but couldn’t find the right way to start. Finally, she said, “I really think this is very unfair, but he claims it wasn’t his fault.”
“Who?” said Rachel, dreamily.
“Who?” Rachel said, dreamily.
“Why, Colonel Keith, my dear,” said good Mrs. Curtis, conceiving that her pronominal speech had “broken” her intelligence; “it seems we were mistaken in him all this time.”
“Why, Colonel Keith, my dear,” said kind Mrs. Curtis, thinking that her use of pronouns had confused her point; “it seems we were wrong about him all this time.”
“What, about Miss Williams?” said Rachel, perceiving how the land lay; “how did you hear it?”
“What about Miss Williams?” Rachel asked, sensing the situation; “how did you find out?”
“You knew it, my dear child,” cried her mother in accents of extreme relief.
“You knew it, my dear child,” her mother exclaimed with a tone of great relief.
“Only this afternoon, from Bessie Keith.”
“Only this afternoon, from Bessie Keith.”
“And Fanny knew it all this time,” continued Mrs. Curtis. “I cannot imagine how she could keep it from me, but it seems Miss Williams was resolved it should not be known. Colonel Keith said he felt it was wrong to go on longer without mentioning it, and I could not but say that it would have been a great relief to have known it earlier.”
“And Fanny knew all of this the whole time,” Mrs. Curtis continued. “I can't imagine how she managed to keep it from me, but it seems Miss Williams was determined that it stay a secret. Colonel Keith said he felt it was wrong to keep it from me any longer, and I had to admit it would have been a huge relief to know about it sooner.”
“As far as Fanny was concerned it would,” said Rachel, looking into the fire, but not without a sense of rehabilitating satisfaction, as the wistful looks and tone of her mother convinced her that this semi-delusion had not been confined to herself.
“As far as Fanny was concerned it would,” said Rachel, staring into the fire, but not without a sense of restored satisfaction, as the longing looks and tone of her mother made her realize that this half-delusion hadn't been limited to her alone.
“I could not help being extremely sorry for him when he was telling me,” continued Mrs. Curtis, as much resolved against uttering the idea as Rachel herself could be. “It has been such a very long attachment, and now he says he has not yet been able to overcome her scruples about accepting him in her state. It is quite right of her, I can’t say but it is, but it is a very awkward situation.”
“I couldn't help feeling really sorry for him when he was telling me,” continued Mrs. Curtis, just as determined not to express the thought as Rachel herself could be. “It has been such a long relationship, and now he says he still hasn’t been able to get past her concerns about accepting him in her situation. It’s completely understandable on her part, I can’t deny that, but it’s a very uncomfortable situation.”
“I do not see that,” said Rachel, feeling the need of decision in order to reassure her mother; “it is very sad and distressing in some ways, but no one can look at Miss Williams without seeing that his return has done her a great deal of good; and whether they marry or not, one can only be full of admiration and respect for them.”
“I don’t see it that way,” Rachel said, wanting to reassure her mother; “it’s really sad and upsetting in some ways, but no one can look at Miss Williams without noticing that his return has helped her a lot; and whether they get married or not, you can’t help but admire and respect them.”
“Yes, yes,” faltered Mrs. Curtis; “only I must say I think it was due to us to have mentioned it sooner.”
“Yes, yes,” Mrs. Curtis hesitated; “but I have to say I think we should've brought it up earlier.”
“Not at all, mother. Fanny knew it, and it was nobody’s concern but hers. Pray am I to have Owen’s ‘Palaeontology’?”
“Not at all, Mom. Fanny knew it, and it was nobody's business but hers. Am I really going to get Owen's ‘Palaeontology’?”
“No, Colonel Keith bought that, and some more of the solid books. My dear, he is going to settle here; he tells me he has actually bought that house he and his brother are in.”
“No, Colonel Keith bought that and some other solid books. My dear, he’s planning to settle here; he told me he actually bought the house he and his brother are in.”
“Bought it!”
“Purchased it!”
“Yes; he says, any way, his object is to be near Miss Williams. Well, I cannot think how it is to end, so near the title as he is, and her sister a governess, and then that dreadful business about her brother, and the little girl upon her hands. Dear me, I wish Fanny had any one else for a governess.”
“Yeah; he says that anyway, his goal is to be close to Miss Williams. I just can’t figure out how this is going to turn out, with him so close to the title, her sister being a governess, and that awful situation with her brother, plus the little girl she’s caring for. Goodness, I wish Fanny had someone else as a governess.”
“So do not I,” said Rachel. “I have the greatest possible admiration for Ermine Williams, and I do not know which I esteem most, her for her brave, cheerful, unrepining unselfishness, or him for his constancy and superiority to all those trumpery considerations. I am glad to have the watching of them. I honour them both.”
“Neither do I,” said Rachel. “I have the utmost admiration for Ermine Williams, and I’m not sure which I admire more—her for her brave, cheerful, selfless attitude, or him for his loyalty and rise above all those trivial concerns. I'm happy to observe them. I respect them both.”
Yes, and Rachel honoured herself still more for being able to speak all this freely and truly out of the innermost depths of her candid heart.
Yes, and Rachel felt even more proud of herself for being able to express all of this so freely and sincerely from the deepest part of her honest heart.
CHAPTER XIV. THE GOWANBRAE BALL.
“Your honour’s pardon, I’d rather have my wounds to heal again, Than hear say how I got them.”—Coriolanus.
“Your honor’s pardon, I’d rather have my wounds heal again than hear about how I got them.” —Coriolanus.
“Yes, I go the week after next.”
“Yes, I’m going the week after next.”
“So soon? I thought you were to stay for our ball.”
“So soon? I thought you were going to stay for our party.”
“Till this time next year! No, no, I can’t quite do that, thank you.”
“Until this time next year! No, no, I can’t really do that, thank you.”
“This very winter.”
"This winter."
“Oh, no—no such thing! Why, half the beauty and fashion of the neighbourhood is not come into winter quarters yet. Besides, the very essence of a military ball is that it should be a parting—the brightest and the last. Good morning.”
“Oh, no—nothing like that! Half the beauty and fashion of the neighborhood hasn’t even settled in for winter yet. Plus, the whole point of a military ball is that it should be a farewell—the most exciting and final one. Good morning.”
And Meg’s head, nothing loth, was turned away from the wide view of the broad vale of the Avon, with the Avoncester Cathedral towers in the midst, and the moors rising beyond in purple distance. The two young lieutenants could only wave their farewells, as Bessie cantered merrily over the soft smooth turf of the racecourse, in company with Lord Keith, the Colonel, and Conrade.
And Meg’s head, eager to see, was turned away from the wide view of the broad valley of the Avon, with the towers of Avoncester Cathedral in the middle, and the moors stretching up beyond in shades of purple. The two young lieutenants could only wave their goodbyes as Bessie happily rode over the soft, smooth grass of the racetrack, along with Lord Keith, the Colonel, and Conrade.
“Do you not like dancing?” inquired Lord Keith, when the canter was over, and they were splashing through a lane with high hedges.
“Don’t you like dancing?” asked Lord Keith, when the ride was over, and they were splashing through a lane with tall hedges.
“I’m not so unnatural,” returned Bessie, with a merry smile, “but it would never do to let the Highlanders give one now. Alick has been telling me that the expense would fall seriously on a good many of them.”
“I’m not that unreasonable,” Bessie replied with a cheerful smile, “but it wouldn’t be a good idea to let the Highlanders do that now. Alick has been telling me that the costs would really burden quite a few of them.”
“True,” said Colonel Keith, “too many fetes come to be a heavy tax.”
“True,” said Colonel Keith, “too many parties can become a burden.”
“That is more consideration than is common in so young a lad,” added Lord Keith.
"That's more thoughtfulness than is usual for someone so young," added Lord Keith.
“Yes, but dear Alick is so full of consideration,” said the sister, eagerly. “He does not get half the credit for it that he deserves, because, you know, he is so quiet and reserved, and has that unlucky ironical way with him that people don’t like; especially rattlepates like those,” pointing with her whip in the direction of the two young officers.
“Yes, but dear Alick is always so thoughtful,” said the sister eagerly. “He doesn’t get half the credit he deserves because, you know, he is so quiet and reserved, and has that unfortunate ironic way about him that people don’t appreciate; especially flighty types like those,” she said, pointing with her whip towards the two young officers.
“It is a pity,” said the Colonel, “it lessens his influence. And it is strange I never perceived it before his return to England.”
“It’s a shame,” said the Colonel, “it diminishes his influence. And it’s odd I didn’t notice it before he returned to England.”
“Oh! there’s much owing to the habitual languor of that long illness. That satirical mumble is the only trouble he will take to lift up his testimony, except when a thing is most decidedly his duty, and then he does it as England expects.”
“Oh! There’s a lot due to the constant fatigue from that long illness. That sarcastic mumble is the only effort he makes to speak up, except when it’s clearly his responsibility, and then he does it as England expects.”
“And he considered it his duty to make you decline this ball?” said Lord Keith.
“And he thought it was his job to make you skip this ball?” said Lord Keith.
“Oh, not his more than mine,” said Bessie. “I don’t forget that I am the Colonel’s daughter.”
“Oh, not his more than mine,” Bessie said. “I haven’t forgotten that I’m the Colonel’s daughter.”
No more was said on that occasion, but three days after cards were going about the county with invitations from Lord Keith to an evening party, with “Dancing.” Lord Keith averred, with the full concurrence of his brother, that he owed many civilities to the ladies of the neighbourhood, and it was a good time to return them when he could gratify the young kinswoman who had showed such generous forbearance about the regimental ball. It was no unfavourable moment either, when he had his brother to help him, for the ordering of balls had been so much a part of Colin’s staff duties, that it came quite naturally to him, especially with Coombe within reach to assist. There was some question whether the place should be the public rooms or Gowanbrae, but Bessie’s vote decided on the latter, in consideration of the Colonel’s chest. She was rather shocked, while very grateful, at the consequences of the little conversation on the hill top, but she threw herself into all the counsels with bright, ardent pleasure, though carefully refraining from any presumption that she was queen of the evening.
No more was said at that time, but three days later, invitations from Lord Keith to an evening party were being passed around the county, featuring “Dancing.” Lord Keith insisted, with his brother's full agreement, that he owed many favors to the local ladies, and it was a good time to return them, especially since he could treat his young cousin who had shown such generous patience regarding the regimental ball. It was also a convenient time since he had his brother to help, as organizing balls had been a big part of Colin’s responsibilities, making it come naturally to him, particularly with Coombe nearby to assist. There was some debate about whether to hold the event in the public rooms or at Gowanbrae, but Bessie’s vote went for the latter, considering the Colonel’s health. She was somewhat shocked, yet very grateful, for the outcome of their little conversation on the hilltop, but she threw herself into all the planning with bright, eager enthusiasm, carefully avoiding any assumption that she would be the center of attention that night.
Lady Temple received an invitation, but never for one moment thought of going, or even supposed that any one could imagine she could. Indeed, if she had accepted it, it would have been a decisive encouragement to her ancient suitor, and Colin saw that he regarded her refusal, in its broad black edges, as a further clenching of the reply to his addresses.
Lady Temple got an invitation, but she never thought about actually going or believed anyone would think she would. In fact, if she had accepted it, it would have been a definite boost to her old admirer, and Colin noticed that he saw her refusal, with its obvious finality, as a clear rejection of his advances.
Bessie was to be chaperoned by Mrs. Curtis. As to Rachel, she had resolved against youthful gaieties for this winter and all others, but she felt that to show any reluctance to accept the Keith invitation might be a contradiction to her indifference to the Colonel, and so construed by her mother, Grace, and Bessie. So all she held out for was, that as she had no money to spend upon adornments, her blue silk dinner dress, and her birthday wreath, should and must do duty; and as to her mother’s giving her finery, she was far too impressive and decided for Mrs. Curtis to venture upon such presumption. She was willing to walk through her part for an evening, and indeed the county was pretty well accustomed to Miss Rachel Curtis’s ball-room ways, and took them as a matter of course.
Bessie would be chaperoned by Mrs. Curtis. As for Rachel, she had decided against youthful fun for this winter and all the winters to come, but she felt that showing any hesitance in accepting the Keith invitation might contradict her indifference towards the Colonel, and her mother, Grace, and Bessie might perceive it that way. So all she insisted on was that since she had no money to spend on new clothes, her blue silk dinner dress and her birthday wreath would have to suffice; as for her mother giving her nice things, Mrs. Curtis was far too confident and assertive to try something like that. She was ready to play her part for an evening, and in fact, the county was pretty well accustomed to Miss Rachel Curtis’s ballroom style and took it for granted.
Gowanbrae had two drawing-rooms with folding doors between, quite practicable for dancing, and the further one ending in a conservatory, that likewise extended along the end of the entrance hall and dining-room. The small library, where Colonel Keith usually sat, became the cloak-room, and contained, when Mrs. Curtis and her daughters arrived, so large a number of bright cashmere cloaklets, scarlet, white, and blue, that they began to sigh prospectively at the crowd which, Mrs. Curtis would have encountered with such joyful valour save for that confidence on the way home from the book club.
Gowanbrae had two drawing rooms with folding doors in between, perfect for dancing, and the back one opened into a conservatory that also stretched along the end of the entrance hall and dining room. The small library, where Colonel Keith usually sat, turned into the cloakroom, and by the time Mrs. Curtis and her daughters arrived, it filled up with so many bright cashmere wrap coats in red, white, and blue that they started to feel a bit overwhelmed by the crowd. Mrs. Curtis would have faced it with such cheerful courage if it weren’t for that confidence she got on the way home from the book club.
They were little prepared for the resources of a practised staff-officer. Never had a ball even to them looked so well arranged, or in such thorough style, as a little dexterous arrangement of flowers, lights, and sofas, and rendered those two rooms. The two hosts worked extremely well. Lord Keith had shaken off much of his careless stoop and air of age, and there was something in his old-world polish and his Scotch accent that gave a sort of romance to the manner of his reception. His brother, with his fine brow, and thoughtful eyes, certainly appeared to Rachel rather thrown away as master of the ceremonies, but whatever he did, he always did in the quietest and best way, and receptions had been a part of his vocation, so that he infused a wonderful sense of ease, and supplied a certain oil of good breeding that made everything move suavely. Young ladies in white, and mothers in all the colours of the rainbow, were there in plenty, and, by Bessie’s special command, the scene was enlivened by the Highland uniform, with the graceful tartan scarf fastened across the shoulder with the Bruce brooch.
They were not really ready for the capabilities of a skilled staff officer. Never had a party seemed so well organized or so stylish to them, thanks to a clever arrangement of flowers, lights, and sofas that transformed those two rooms. The two hosts worked extremely well together. Lord Keith had shed much of his careless slouch and appearance of age, and there was something about his old-world charm and Scottish accent that added a touch of romance to his welcoming manner. His brother, with his strong brow and thoughtful eyes, did seem a bit underutilized as the master of ceremonies for Rachel, but whatever he did, he did it in the quietest and most effective way. Receptions had been part of his career, so he brought a wonderful sense of ease and provided a certain polish of good manners that made everything run smoothly. Young ladies in white and mothers dressed in every color of the rainbow were plentiful, and, at Bessie’s special request, the atmosphere was brightened by the Highland uniform, complete with the elegant tartan scarf draped across the shoulder and secured with the Bruce brooch.
Rachel had not been long in the room before she was seized on by Emily Grey, an enthusiastic young lady of the St. Norbert’s neighbourhood, whom she met seldom, but was supposed to know intimately.
Rachel hadn’t been in the room long before Emily Grey, an enthusiastic young woman from the St. Norbert’s neighborhood, approached her. They didn’t see each other often, but everyone thought they were close friends.
“And they say you have the hero here—the Victoria Cross man—and that you know him. You must show him to me, and get me introduced.”
“And they say the hero is here—the Victoria Cross guy—and that you know him. You have to show him to me and get me introduced.”
“There is no Victoria Cross man here,” said Rachel, coldly. “Colonel Keith did not have one.”
“There’s no Victoria Cross guy here,” Rachel said coldly. “Colonel Keith didn’t have one.”
“Oh, no, I don’t mean Colonel Keith, but Captain Alexander Keith, quite a young man. Oh, I am sure you remember the story—you were quite wild about it—of his carrying the lighted shell out of the hospital tent; and they told me he was always over here, and his sister staying with Lady Temple.”
“Oh, no, I don’t mean Colonel Keith, but Captain Alexander Keith, a pretty young guy. Oh, I’m sure you remember the story—you were really into it—about him carrying the lit shell out of the hospital tent; and they told me he was always over here, with his sister staying with Lady Temple.”
“I know Captain Alexander Keith,” said Rachel, slowly; “but you must be mistaken, I am certain I should know if he had a Victoria Cross.”
“I know Captain Alexander Keith,” Rachel said slowly, “but you must be mistaken. I’m sure I would know if he had a Victoria Cross.”
“It is very odd; Charlie told me it was the same,” said Miss Grey, who, like all others, was forced to bend to Rachel’s decisive manner.
“It’s really strange; Charlie mentioned it was the same,” said Miss Grey, who, like everyone else, had to yield to Rachel’s commanding presence.
“Scottish names are very common,” said Rachel, and at that moment a partner came and carried Emily off.
“Scottish names are really common,” Rachel said, and at that moment a partner came and took Emily away.
But as Rachel stood still, an odd misgiving seized her, a certain doubt whether upon the tall lazy figure that was leaning against a wall nearly opposite to her, talking to another officer, she did not see something suspiciously bronze and eight-pointed that all did not wear. There was clearly a medal, though with fewer clasps than some owned; but what else was there? She thought of the lecture on heroism she had given to him, and felt hot all over. Behold, he was skirting the line of chaperons, and making his way towards their party. The thing grew more visible, and she felt more disconcerted than ever had been her lot before; but escape there was none, here he was shaking hands.
But as Rachel stood still, a strange feeling of doubt overwhelmed her, making her wonder if the tall, relaxed figure leaning against the wall across from her, talking to another officer, was wearing something suspiciously bronze and eight-pointed that not everyone wore. There was definitely a medal, although it had fewer clasps than others had; but what else was there? She remembered the lecture on heroism she had given him and felt embarrassed all over. Look, he was moving past the chaperones and heading towards their group. The situation became clearer, and she felt more anxious than ever before; but there was no escape, here he was shaking hands.
“You don’t polk?” he said to her. “In fact, you regard all this as a delusion of weak minds. Then, will you come and have some tea?”
“You don’t dance?” he asked her. “In fact, you see all this as a delusion of weak minds. So, will you come and have some tea?”
Rachel took his arm, still bewildered, and when standing before him with the tea-cup in her hand, she interrupted something he was saying, she knew not what, with, “That is not the Victoria Cross?”
Rachel took his arm, still confused, and as she stood in front of him with the tea cup in her hand, she interrupted whatever he was saying, not knowing what it was, with, “That isn’t the Victoria Cross?”
“Then it is, like all the rest, a delusion,” he answered, in his usual impassive manner.
“Then it’s just like everything else, an illusion,” he replied, in his usual unfeeling way.
“And gained,” she continued, “by saving the lives of all those officers, the very thing I told you about!”
“And gained,” she continued, “by saving the lives of all those officers, the exact thing I mentioned to you!”
“You told me that man was killed.”
"You told me that the man was killed."
“Then it was not you!”
“So it wasn't you!”
“Perhaps they picked up the pieces of the wrong one.”
“Maybe they picked up the pieces of the wrong one.”
“But if you would only tell me how you gained it.”
“But if you would just tell me how you got it.”
“By the pursuit of conchology.”
“By studying shells.”
“Then it was yourself?” again said Rachel, in her confusion.
“Then it was you?” Rachel said again, confused.
“If I be I as I suppose I be,” he replied, giving her his arm again, and as they turned towards the conservatory, adding, “Many such things have happened, and I did not know whether you meant this.”
“If I am who I think I am,” he replied, offering her his arm again, and as they headed toward the conservatory, he added, “Many things like this have happened, and I wasn’t sure if that’s what you meant.”
“That was the reason you made so light of it.”
“That’s why you didn’t take it seriously.”
“What, because I thought it was somebody else?”
“What, just because I thought it was someone else?”
“No, the contrary reason; but I cannot understand why you let me go on without telling me.”
“No, the opposite reason; but I don’t get why you let me keep going without telling me.”
“I never interfere when a story is so perfect in itself.”
"I never interfere when a story stands on its own."
“But is my story perfect in itself?” said Rachel, “or is it the contrary?”
“But is my story perfect on its own?” said Rachel, “or is it the opposite?”
“No one knows less of the particulars than I do,” he answered. “I think your version was that it was an hospital tent that the shell came into. It was not that, but a bungalow, which was supposed to be out of range. It stood on a bit of a slope, and I thought I should have been able to kick the shell down before it had time to do mischief.”
“No one knows less about the details than I do,” he replied. “I believe your version was that a shell hit a hospital tent. That’s not true; it was a bungalow that was meant to be out of range. It was on a slight slope, and I figured I could have kicked the shell away before it caused any harm.”
“But you picked it up, and took it to the door—I mean, did you?” said Rachel, who was beginning to discover that she must ask Alick Keith a direct question, if she wished to get an answer, and she received a gesture of assent.
“But you picked it up and took it to the door—I mean, did you?” said Rachel, who was starting to realize that she needed to ask Alick Keith a direct question if she wanted an answer, and she got a nod in response.
“I was very blind,” she said, humbly, “and now I have gone and insisted to poor Emily Grey that you never did any such thing.”
“I was really blind,” she said, humbly, “and now I’ve gone and insisted to poor Emily Grey that you never did any such thing.”
“Thank you,” he said; “it was the greatest kindness you could do me.”
"Thank you," he said; "it was the kindest thing you could do for me."
“Ah! your sister said you had the greatest dislike to hero worship.”
“Ah! your sister mentioned you really dislike hero worship.”
“A natural sense of humbug,” he said. “I don’t know why they gave me this,” he added, touching his cross, “unless it was that one of the party in the bungalow had a turn for glorifying whatever happened to himself. Plenty of more really gallant things happened every day, and were never heard of, and I, who absolutely saw next to nothing of the campaign, have little right to be decorated.”
“A genuine sense of nonsense,” he said. “I don’t know why they gave me this,” he added, touching his cross, “unless it was because one of the people in the bungalow had a habit of glorifying everything he did. A lot of truly brave things happened every day that nobody ever heard about, and I, who hardly saw anything from the campaign, have little right to be honored.”
“Ah!” said Rachel, thoughtfully, “I have always wondered whether one would be happier for having accomplished an act of heroism.”
“Ah!” said Rachel, thinking, “I’ve always wondered if someone would be happier after doing something heroic.”
“I do not know,” said Alick, thoughtfully; then, as Rachel looked up with a smile of amazement, “Oh, you mean this; but it was mere self-preservation. I could hardly even have bolted, for I was laid up with fever, and was very shaky on my legs.”
“I don't know,” Alick said thoughtfully; then, as Rachel looked up with a surprised smile, “Oh, you mean this; but it was just self-preservation. I could hardly even have run away, since I was down with a fever and was very unsteady on my feet.”
“I suppose, however,” said Rachel, “that the vision of one’s life in entering the army would be to win that sort of distinction, and so young.”
“I suppose, though,” said Rachel, “that the dream of one’s life when joining the army would be to achieve that kind of recognition, especially at such a young age.”
“Win it as some have done,” said Alick, “and deserve what is far better worth than distinction. That may be the dream, but, after all, it is the discipline and constant duty that make the soldier, and are far more really valuable than exceptional doings.”
“Win it like some have done,” Alick said, “and earn something that is worth way more than just recognition. That might be the goal, but in the end, it’s the discipline and ongoing responsibility that shape a soldier, and they’re much more valuable than just extraordinary achievements.”
“People must always be ready for them, though,” said Rachel
“People need to always be prepared for them, though,” said Rachel
“And they are,” said Alick, with grave exultation in his tone.
“And they are,” said Alick, with a serious excitement in his tone.
Then, after a pause, she led back the conversation to its personal character, by saying. “Do you mean that the reception of this cross was no gratification to you?”
Then, after a pause, she brought the conversation back to a personal note by saying, “Are you saying that receiving this cross didn’t bring you any joy?”
“No, I am not so absurd,” he replied, but he added sadly, “That was damped quite otherwise. The news that I was named for it came almost in the same breath with that of my father’s death, and he had not heard I was to receive it.”
“No, I’m not that ridiculous,” he replied, but he added sadly, “That was handled very differently. The news that I was nominated for it came almost simultaneously with the news of my father’s death, and he didn’t know I was going to receive it.”
“Ah! I can understand.”
“Got it!”
“And you can see how intolerable was the fuss my good relations made with me just when the loss was fresh on me, and with that of my two chief friends, among my brother officers, fellows beside whom I was nobody, and there was my uncle’s blindness getting confirmed. Was not that enough to sicken one with being stuck up for a lion, and constantly poked up by the showwoman, under pretext of keeping up one’s spirits!”
“And you can see how unbearable the fuss my relatives made over me just when I was still reeling from the loss, along with that of my two closest friends among my fellow officers, guys who made me feel like nobody. And then there was my uncle’s blindness being confirmed. Wasn’t that enough to make anyone sick of being treated like a celebrity, constantly prodded by the showwoman as if it was to keep my spirits up?”
“And you were—I mean were you—too ill to escape?”
“And you were—I mean were you—too sick to escape?”
“I was less able to help myself than Miss Williams is. There had been a general smash of all the locomotive machinery on this side, and the wretched monster could do nothing but growl at his visitors.”
“I was less capable of helping myself than Miss Williams is. There had been a complete breakdown of all the train machinery on this side, and the miserable beast could do nothing but growl at his visitors.”
“Should you growl very much if I introduced you to Emily Grey? You see it is a matter of justice and truth to tell her now, after having contradicted her so flatly. I will wait to let you get out of the way first if you like, but I think that would be unkind to her; and if you ever do dance, I wish you would dance with her.”
“Would you be upset if I introduced you to Emily Grey? You know it’s only fair to tell her the truth now, especially after contradicting her so directly. I can wait for you to step aside first if that works for you, but I think that would be unfair to her. And if you ever do decide to dance, I hope you’ll dance with her.”
“With all my heart,” he answered.
“With all my heart,” he replied.
“Oh, thank you,” said Rachel, warmly.
“Oh, thank you,” Rachel said with a warm smile.
He observed with some amusement Rachel’s utter absence of small dexterities, and of even the effort to avoid the humiliation of a confession of her error. Miss Grey and a boy partner had wandered into the conservatory, and were rather dismally trying to seem occupied with the camellias when Rachel made her way to them, and though he could not actually hear the words, he knew pretty well what they were. “Emily, you were right after all, and I was mistaken,” and then as he drew near, “Miss Grey, Captain Keith wishes to be introduced to you.”
He watched with some amusement Rachel's complete lack of small skills and even the effort to avoid the embarrassment of admitting her mistake. Miss Grey and a boy partner had wandered into the conservatory and were rather sadly trying to look busy with the camellias when Rachel approached them. Though he couldn't actually hear their words, he had a pretty good idea of what they were. “Emily, you were right after all, and I was wrong,” and then as he got closer, “Miss Grey, Captain Keith wants to be introduced to you.”
It had been a great shock to Rachel’s infallibility, and as she slowly began working her way in search of her mother, after observing the felicity of Emily’s bright eyes, she fell into a musing on the advantages of early youth in its indiscriminating powers of enthusiasm for anything distinguished for anything, and that sense of self-exaltation in any sort of contact with a person who had been publicly spoken of. “There is genuine heroism in him,” thought Rachel, “but it is just in what Emily would never appreciate—it is in the feeling that he could not help doing as he did; the half-grudging his reward to himself because other deeds have passed unspoken. I wonder whether his ironical humour would allow him to see that Mr. Mauleverer is as veritable a hero in yielding hopes of consideration, prospects, honours, to his sense of truth and uprightness. If he would only look with an unprejudiced eye, I know he would be candid.”
It was a huge shock to Rachel's confidence, and as she slowly started looking for her mother, inspired by the happiness in Emily's bright eyes, she found herself reflecting on the advantages of youthful enthusiasm for everything and anything remarkable. She thought, “There’s real heroism in him, but it’s something Emily would never understand—it’s the feeling that he couldn't help but act as he did; the slight resentment he feels towards rewarding himself because other actions have gone unrecognized. I wonder if his ironic sense of humor would let him see that Mr. Mauleverer is just as much of a hero for giving up ambitions, prospects, and honors for the sake of his sense of truth and integrity. If only he could look at things without bias, I know he would be honest.”
“Are you looking for Mrs. Curtis?” said Colonel Keith. “I think she is in the other room.”
“Are you looking for Mrs. Curtis?” Colonel Keith asked. “I believe she’s in the other room.”
“Not particularly, thank you,” said Rachel, and she was surprised to find how glad she was to look up freely at him.
“Not really, thanks,” Rachel replied, and she was surprised by how happy she was to look up at him freely.
“Would it be contrary to your principles or practice to dance with me?”
“Would it go against your principles or practices to dance with me?”
“To my practice,” she said smilingly, “so let us find my mother. Is Miss Alison Williams here? I never heard whether it was settled that she should come,” she added, resolved both to show him her knowledge of his situation, and to let her mother see her at her ease with him.
“To my practice,” she said with a smile, “so let’s find my mom. Is Miss Alison Williams here? I never heard if it was decided that she would come,” she added, determined to demonstrate her awareness of his situation and to let her mom see her relaxed with him.
“No, she was obstinate, though her sister and I did our utmost to persuade her, and the boys were crazy to make her go.”
“No, she was stubborn, even though her sister and I tried our best to convince her, and the boys were eager to make her go.”
“I can’t understand your wishing it.”
“I can’t understand why you want it.”
“Not as an experience of life? Alison never went to anything in her girlhood, but devoted herself solely to her sister, and it would be pleasant to see her begin her youth.”
“Not as a life experience? Alison never participated in anything during her childhood, but focused entirely on her sister, and it would be nice to see her start living her youth.”
“Not as a mere young lady!” exclaimed Rachel.
“Not just a young lady!” exclaimed Rachel.
“That is happily not possible.”
"That’s thankfully not possible."
An answer that somewhat puzzled Rachel, whose regard for him was likely to be a good deal dependent upon his contentment with Alison’s station in life.
An answer that somewhat confused Rachel, whose opinion of him was probably quite dependent on how satisfied he was with Alison’s place in life.
“I must say young ladyhood looks to the greatest advantage there,” Rachel could not help exclaiming, as at that moment Elizabeth Keith smiled at them, as she floated past, her airy white draperies looped with scarlet ribbons; her dark hair turned back and fastened by a snood of the same, an eagle’s feather clasped in it by a large emerald, a memory of her father’s last siege—that of Lucknow.
“I have to say, being young and a lady looks amazing there,” Rachel couldn’t help exclaiming as Elizabeth Keith smiled at them while gliding by, her light white dress accented with red ribbons; her dark hair swept back and secured with a matching snood, an eagle’s feather pinned in it with a big emerald, a keepsake from her father’s last siege—Lucknow.
“She is a very pretty creature,” said the Colonel, under the sparkle of her bright eyes.
“She is a really beautiful person,” said the Colonel, looking into the sparkle of her bright eyes.
“I never saw any one make the pursuits of young ladyhood have so much spirit and meaning,” added Rachel. “Here you see she has managed to make herself sufficiently like other people, yet full of individual character and meaning.”
“I’ve never seen anyone make the pursuits of young womanhood so vibrant and meaningful,” Rachel added. “Here you can see she’s managed to fit in with others while still having her own unique character and significance.”
“That is the theory of dress, I suppose,” said the Colonel.
"That's the theory of fashion, I guess," said the Colonel.
“If one chooses to cultivate it.”
“If someone chooses to nurture it.”
“Did you ever see Lady Temple in full dress?”
“Did you ever see Lady Temple all dressed up?”
“No; we were not out when we parted as girls.”
“No, we weren’t out when we said goodbye as girls.”
“Then you have had a loss. I think it was at our last Melbourne ball, that when she went to the nursery to wish the children good night, one of them—Hubert, I believe—told her to wear that dress when she went to heaven, and dear old Sir Stephen was so delighted that he went straight upstairs to kiss the boy for it.”
“Then you’ve experienced a loss. I think it was at our last Melbourne ball that when she went to the nursery to say good night to the kids, one of them—Hubert, I believe—told her to wear that dress when she went to heaven, and dear old Sir Stephen was so pleased that he went straight upstairs to kiss the boy for it.”
“Was that Lady Temple?” said Alick Keith, who having found Miss Grey engaged many deep, joined them again, and at his words came back a thrill of Rachel’s old fear and doubt as to the possible future.
“Was that Lady Temple?” Alick Keith asked, having found Miss Grey busy with something deep and joined them again. At his words, a wave of Rachel’s old fear and uncertainty about the possible future returned.
“Yes,” said the Colonel; “I was recollecting the gracious vision she used to be at all our chief’s parties.”
“Yes,” said the Colonel; “I was remembering how delightful she used to be at all our chief's parties.”
“Vision, you call her, who lived in the house with her? What do you think she was to us—poor wretches—coming up from barracks where Mrs. O’Shaughnessy was our cynosure? There was not one of us to whom she was not Queen of the East, and more, with that innocent, soft, helpless dignity of hers!”
“Vision, you call her, who lived in the house with her? What do you think she meant to us—poor souls—coming from the barracks where Mrs. O’Shaughnessy was our guiding star? There wasn’t a single one of us who didn’t see her as the Queen of the East, and more, with her innocent, gentle, vulnerable dignity!”
“And Sir Stephen for the first of her vassals,” said the Colonel.
“And Sir Stephen for the first of her vassals,” said the Colonel.
“What a change it has been!” said Alick.
“What a change it has been!” Alick said.
“Yes; but a change that has shown her to have been unspoilable. We were just agreeing on the ball-room perfections of her and your sister in their several lines.”
“Yes; but a change that has shown her to be unspoiled. We were just agreeing on the ballroom perfection of her and your sister in their respective talents.”
“Very different lines,” said Alick, smiling.
“Very different lines,” Alick said with a smile.
“I can’t judge of Fanny’s,” said Rachel, “but your sister is almost enough to make one believe there can be some soul in young lady life.”
“I can’t speak for Fanny,” said Rachel, “but your sister is almost enough to make someone believe there’s some depth to young women’s lives.”
“I did not bring Bessie here to convert you,” was the somewhat perplexing answer.
“I didn’t bring Bessie here to change your mind,” was the rather confusing reply.
“Nor has she,” said Rachel, “except so far as I see that she can follow ordinary girls’ pursuits without being frivolous in them.” Alick bowed at the compliment.
“Nor has she,” said Rachel, “except that I notice she can engage in typical girls’ activities without being shallow about them.” Alick bowed at the compliment.
“And she has been a sunbeam,” added Rachel, “we shall all feel graver and cloudier without her.”
“And she has been a ray of sunshine,” added Rachel, “we will all feel more serious and downcast without her.”
“Yes,” said Colonel Keith, “and I am glad Mr. Clare has such a sunbeam for his parsonage. What a blessing she will be there!” he added, as he watched Bessie’s graceful way of explaining to his brother some little matter in behalf of the shy mother of a shy girl. Thinking he might be wanted, Colonel Keith went forward to assist, and Rachel continued, “I do envy that power of saying the right thing to everybody!”
“Yes,” said Colonel Keith, “and I’m glad Mr. Clare has such a bright light for his parsonage. What a blessing she’ll be there!” he added, as he observed Bessie’s elegant way of explaining a small issue to his brother on behalf of the timid mother of a shy girl. Thinking he might be needed, Colonel Keith moved ahead to help, and Rachel continued, “I really envy that ability to say the right thing to everyone!”
“Don’t—it is the greatest snare,” was his answer, much amazing her, for she had her mind full of the two direct personal blunders she had made towards him.
“Don’t—it’s the biggest trap,” he replied, surprising her a lot, since she was preoccupied with the two direct personal mistakes she had made with him.
“It prevents many difficulties and embarrassments.”
“It helps avoid many problems and awkward situations.”
“Very desirable things.”
“Highly desirable items.”
“Yes; for those that like to laugh, but not for those that are laughed at,” said Rachel.
“Yes; for those who enjoy laughing, but not for those who are the butt of the joke,” said Rachel.
“More so; the worst of all misfortunes is to wriggle too smoothly through life.”
“Even more, the worst misfortune is to glide too easily through life.”
This was to Rachel the most remarkable part of the evening; as to the rest, it was like all other balls, a weariness: Grace enjoying herself and her universal popularity, always either talking or dancing, and her mother comfortable and dutiful among other mothers; the brilliant figure and ready grace of Bessie Keith being the one vision that perpetually flitted in her dreams, and the one ever-recurring recollection that Captain Keith, the veritable hero of the shell, had been lectured by her on his own deed! In effect Rachel had never felt so beaten down and ashamed of herself; so doubtful of her own most positive convictions, and yet not utterly dissatisfied, and the worst of it was that Emily Grey was after all carried off without dancing with the hero; and Rachel felt as if her own opinionativeness had defrauded the poor girl.
This was the most remarkable part of the evening for Rachel; as for the rest, it was like any other ball, exhausting: Grace having a great time and being universally popular, always either chatting or dancing, while her mother was comfortably and dutifully socializing with the other moms; the striking presence and effortless charm of Bessie Keith being the one image that constantly danced in her mind, and the one recurring thought that Captain Keith, the true hero of the shell, had been scolded by her for his own actions! In reality, Rachel had never felt so defeated and ashamed of herself; so uncertain about her most firm beliefs, and yet not completely unhappy, and the worst part was that Emily Grey ended up leaving without dancing with the hero; Rachel felt as if her own stubbornness had cheated the poor girl.
Other balls sent her home in a state of weariness, disgust, and contempt towards every one, but this one had resulted in displeasure with herself, yet in much interest and excitement; and, oh, passing strange! through that same frivolous military society.
Other balls left her feeling tired, disgusted, and looking down on everyone, but this one made her disappointed in herself while also feeling a lot of interest and excitement; and, oddly enough, it was all within that same shallow military crowd.
Indeed the military society was soon in better odour with her than the clerical. She had been making strenuous efforts to get to St. Herbert’s, with Mr. Mitchell, for some time past, but the road was in a state of being repaired, and the coachman was determined against taking his horses there. As to going by train, that was equally impossible, since he would still less have driven her to the station, finally, Rachel took the resolute stop of borrowing Fanny’s pony carriage, and driving herself and the clergyman to the station, where she was met by Mrs. Morris, the mother of one of the girls, to whom she had promised such a visit, as it had been agreed that it would be wisest not to unsettle the scholars by Christmas holidays.
Indeed, the military scene was soon more acceptable to her than the church one. She had been trying hard to get to St. Herbert’s with Mr. Mitchell for a while, but the road was being repaired, and the coachman refused to take his horses there. Taking the train was just as impossible since he definitely wouldn't drive her to the station. Finally, Rachel made the bold decision to borrow Fanny’s pony carriage and drive herself and the clergyman to the station, where she was met by Mrs. Morris, the mother of one of the girls she had promised to visit, as it had been agreed that it was best not to disrupt the students with Christmas holidays.
The F. U. E. E. was in perfect order; the little girls sat upon a bench with their copies before them, Mrs. Rawlins in the whitest of caps presided over them, and Mr. Mauleverer was very urbane, conducting the visitors over the house himself, and expatiating on his views of cleanliness, ventilation, refinement, and equality of cultivation, while Mrs. Rawlins remained to entertain Mrs. Morris. Nothing could be more practical and satisfactory; some admirable drawings of the children’s were exhibited, and their conduct was said to be excellent; except, Mr. Mauleverer remarked unwillingly, that there was a tendency about little Mary to fancy herself injured, and he feared that she was not always truthful; but these were childish faults, that he hoped would pass away with further refinement, and removal from the lower influences of her home.
The F. U. E. E. was in perfect shape; the little girls sat on a bench with their notebooks in front of them, Mrs. Rawlins in her pristine white cap presiding over them, and Mr. Mauleverer was very gracious, personally showing the visitors around the house and sharing his thoughts on cleanliness, ventilation, refinement, and equal opportunities for growth, while Mrs. Rawlins stayed behind to entertain Mrs. Morris. Everything was practical and satisfying; some impressive drawings by the children were on display, and their behavior was reported to be excellent. However, Mr. Mauleverer noted with some reluctance that little Mary had a tendency to feel wronged and he worried that she wasn't always honest; but these were just childish flaws that he hoped would disappear with more refinement and distance from the negative influences of her home.
After this, Rachel was not surprised that poor, ignorant, and always deplorable Mrs. Morris did not seem in raptures with the state of her child, but more inclined to lament not having seen more of her, and not having her at home. That was quite in accordance with peasant shortsightedness and ingratitude, but it was much more disappointing that Mr. Mitchell said little or nothing of approbation; asked her a few questions about her previous knowledge of Mr. Mauleverer and Mrs. Rawlins, and when she began to talk of arranging for some one or two of his London orphans, thanked her rather shortly, but said there was no way of managing it. It was evident that he was quite as prejudiced as others of his clerical brethren, and the more Rachel read of current literature, the more she became convinced of their bondage to views into which they durst not examine, for fear honesty should compel them to assert their conclusions.
After this, Rachel wasn't surprised that poor, clueless, and always pitiful Mrs. Morris didn't seem thrilled about her child’s situation but was more inclined to regret not having seen more of her and not having her at home. That was typical of short-sighted and ungrateful people, but it was even more disappointing that Mr. Mitchell had little or nothing positive to say; he asked her a few questions about her previous knowledge of Mr. Mauleverer and Mrs. Rawlins, and when she started to discuss arranging for a couple of his London orphans, he thanked her rather briefly but said there was no way to make it happen. It was clear that he was just as biased as the other clergymen, and the more Rachel read contemporary literature, the more she became convinced of their inability to challenge beliefs they feared would force them to confront their conclusions.
She had hoped better things from the stranger, but she began to be persuaded that all her former concessions to the principles infused in her early days were vain entanglements, and that it was merely weakness and unwillingness to pain her mother that prevented her from breaking through them.
She had hoped for better from the stranger, but she started to believe that all her past compromises with the ideas she had learned in her early years were pointless traps, and that it was just her weakness and fear of hurting her mother that kept her from breaking free.
She could not talk this out with anybody, except now and then an utterance to the consenting Mr. Mauleverer, but in general she would have been shocked to put these surging thoughts into words, and Bessie was her only intimate who would avow that there could be anything to be found fault with in a clergyman. When alone together, Bessie would sometimes regretfully, sometimes in a tone of amusement, go over bits of narrow-minded folly that had struck her in the clergy, and more especially in her uncle’s curate, Mr. Lifford, whose dryness was, she owned, very repulsive to her.
She couldn't talk about this with anyone, except occasionally with the agreeing Mr. Mauleverer. Generally, she would have been appalled to express these overwhelming thoughts aloud, and Bessie was the only close friend who would admit that there could be anything wrong with a clergyman. When they were alone, Bessie would sometimes reflect on, with regret or amusement, the narrow-minded nonsense she had noticed among the clergy, especially in her uncle’s curate, Mr. Lifford, whose sternness she admitted was very off-putting to her.
“He is a good creature,” she said, “and most necessary to my uncle, but how he and I are to get through life together, I cannot tell. It must soon be tried, though! After my visit at Bath will come my home at Bishopsworthy!” And then she confided to Rachel all the parish ways, and took counsel on the means of usefulness that would not clash with the curate and pain her uncle. She even talked of a possible orphan for the F. U. E. E., only that unlucky prejudice against Mr. Mauleverer was sure to stand in the way.
“He's a good guy,” she said, “and really important to my uncle, but I have no idea how he and I are going to manage life together. We'll have to figure it out soon, though! After my visit to Bath, I’ll be back home in Bishopsworthy!” Then she shared all the details about the parish with Rachel and sought advice on how to be helpful without stepping on the curate's toes and upsetting her uncle. She even mentioned a potential orphan for the F. U. E. E., but that unfortunate bias against Mr. Mauleverer would definitely be a hurdle.
So acceptable had Bessie Keith made herself everywhere, that all Avonmouth was grieved at her engagement to spend the winter at Bath with her married cousin, to whom she was imperatively necessary in the getting up of a musical party.
Bessie Keith had become so well-loved everywhere that everyone in Avonmouth was sad about her decision to spend the winter in Bath with her married cousin, who really needed her help to organize a musical gathering.
“And I must go some time or other,” she said to Colonel Keith, “so it had better be when you are all here to make Myrtlewood cheerful, and I can be of most use to poor Jane! I do think dear Lady Temple is much more full of life and brightness now!”
“And I have to go eventually,” she said to Colonel Keith, “so it’s better if I leave when you’re all here to keep Myrtlewood cheerful, and I can be most helpful to poor Jane! I really think dear Lady Temple is much more lively and bright now!”
Everybody seemed to consider Bessie’s departure as their own personal loss: the boys were in despair for their playfellow, Ermine would miss those sunny visits; Colonel Keith many a pleasant discussion, replete with delicate compliments to Ermine, veiled by tact; and Lord Keith the pretty young clanswoman who had kept up a graceful little coquetry with him, and even to the last evening, went on walking on the esplanade with him in the sunset, so as to set his brother free to avoid the evening chill.
Everybody felt Bessie’s departure as a personal loss: the boys were sad to lose their playmate, Ermine would miss those sunny visits; Colonel Keith would miss their enjoyable discussions, filled with subtle compliments to Ermine, expressed with tact; and Lord Keith would miss the charming young clanswoman who had maintained a playful flirtation with him, and even on the last evening, continued to stroll along the esplanade with him at sunset, so he could let his brother go to avoid the evening chill.
And, above all, Lady Temple regretted the loss of the cheery companion of her evenings. True, Bessie had lately had a good many small evening gaieties, but she always came back from them so fresh and bright, and so full of entertaining description and anecdote, that Fanny felt as if she had been there herself, and, said Bessie, “it was much better for her than staying at home with her, and bringing in no novelty.”
And, above all, Lady Temple missed the cheerful company she had in the evenings. True, Bessie had been to a number of small social events lately, but she always returned so fresh and radiant, full of entertaining stories and anecdotes, that Fanny felt like she had experienced them too. Bessie remarked that it was much better for her to go out than to stay home with her, offering no new experiences.
“Pray come to me again, dearest! Your stay has been the greatest treat. It is very kind in you to be so good to me.”
“Please come to me again, my dear! Your visit has been the best. It’s really nice of you to be so wonderful to me.”
“It is you who are good to me, dearest Lady Temple.”
“It’s you who are kind to me, dear Lady Temple.”
“I am afraid I shall hardly get you again. Your poor uncle will never be able to part with you, so I won’t ask you to promise, but if ever you can—”
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to see you again. Your poor uncle will never let you go, so I won’t ask you to make a promise, but if you ever can—”
“If ever I can! This has been a very happy time, dear Lady Temple,” a confidence seemed trembling on her lips, but she suppressed it. “I shall always think of you as the kindest friend a motherless girl ever had! I will write to you from Bath. Good-bye—”
“If I ever can! This has been such a happy time, dear Lady Temple,” a sense of confidence seemed to hover on her lips, but she held it back. “I will always remember you as the kindest friend a motherless girl could ever have! I’ll write to you from Bath. Goodbye—”
And there were all the boys in a row, little affectionate Hubert absolutely tearful, and Conrade holding up a bouquet, on which he had spent all his money, having persuaded Coombe to ride with him to the nursery garden at Avoncester to procure it. He looked absolutely shy and blushing, when Bessie kissed him and promised to dry the leaves and keep them for ever.
And there were all the boys lined up, little affectionate Hubert completely in tears, and Conrade holding up a bouquet he had spent all his money on, after convincing Coombe to ride with him to the nursery garden at Avoncester to get it. He looked really shy and embarrassed when Bessie kissed him and promised to dry the leaves and keep them forever.
CHAPTER XV. GO AND BRAY
“Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this!”— As You Like It
“Come on, older brother, you're too inexperienced for this!”— As You Like It
“Alick, I have something to say to you.”
“Alick, I need to talk to you.”
Captain Keith did not choose to let his sister travel alone, when he could help it, and therefore was going to Bath with her, intending to return to Avoncester by the next down train. He made no secret that he thought it a great deal of trouble, and had been for some time asleep, when, at about two stations from Bath, Bessie having shut the little door in the middle of the carriage, thus addressed him, “Alick, I have something to say to you, and I suppose I may as well say it now.”
Captain Keith didn’t want his sister to travel alone, if he could avoid it, so he was going to Bath with her, planning to return to Avoncester on the next train down. He was open about how much of a hassle he thought it was, and he had been asleep for a while when, about two stops away from Bath, Bessie closed the small door in the middle of the carriage and said to him, “Alick, I have something to tell you, and I guess I might as well say it now.”
She pressed upon his knee, and with an affected laziness, he drew his eyes wide open.
She leaned on his knee, and with a feigned laziness, he opened his eyes wide.
“Ah, well, I’ve been a sore plague to you, but I shall be off your hands now.”
“Yeah, I know I’ve been a real pain, but I’ll be out of your hair now.”
“Eh! whose head have you been turning?”
“Hey! Whose head have you been turning?”
“Alick, what do you think of Lord Keith?”
“Alick, what do you think about Lord Keith?”
Alick was awake enough now! “The old ass!” he exclaimed. “But at least you are out of his way now.”
Alick was wide awake now! “That old jerk!” he exclaimed. “But at least you’re out of his way now.”
“Not at all. He is coming to Bath to-morrow to see my aunt.”
“Not at all. He’s coming to Bath tomorrow to see my aunt.”
“And you want me to go out to-morrow and stop him?”
“And you want me to go out tomorrow and stop him?”
“No, Alick, not exactly. I have been cast about the world too long not to be thankful.”
“No, Alick, not quite. I’ve been tossed around the world for too long not to be grateful.”
“Elizabeth!”
“Liz!”
“Do not look so very much surprised,” she said, in her sweet pleading way. “May I not be supposed able to feel that noble kindness and gracious manner, and be glad to have some one to look up to?”
“Don’t look so surprised,” she said, in her sweet, pleading tone. “Can’t I appreciate that noble kindness and graciousness and be happy to have someone to admire?”
“And how about Charlie Carleton?” demanded Alick, turning round full on her.
“And what about Charlie Carleton?” Alick asked, turning to face her directly.
“For shame, Alick!” she exclaimed hotly; “you who were the one to persecute me about him, and tell me all sorts of things about his being shallow and unprincipled, and not to be thought of, you to bring him up against me now.”
“For shame, Alick!” she exclaimed passionately; “you were the one who pushed me about him, telling me all kinds of things about how he’s shallow and unprincipled, and not worth considering, and now you’re bringing him up against me.”
“I might think all you allege,” returned Alick, gravely, “and yet be much amazed at the new project.”
“I might believe everything you’re saying,” Alick replied seriously, “and still be really surprised by the new plan.”
Bessie laughed. “In fact you made a little romance, in which you acted the part of sapient brother, and the poor little sister broke her heart ever after! You wanted such an entertainment when you were lying on the sofa, so you created a heroine and a villain, and thundered down to the rescue.”
Bessie laughed. “Actually, you created a bit of a romance, where you played the wise brother, and the poor little sister ended up heartbroken forever! You wanted some excitement while you were lounging on the sofa, so you made up a heroine and a villain, and came charging in to save the day.”
“Very pretty, Bessie, but it will not do. It was long after I was well again, and had joined.”
“Very pretty, Bessie, but it just won't work. It was quite a while after I had recovered and had joined.”
“Then it was the well-considered effect of the musings of your convalescence! When you have a sister to take care of, it is as well to feel that you are doing it.”
“Then it was the thoughtful impact of your recovery reflections! When you have a sister to look after, it’s good to feel like you are actually doing it.”
“Now, Elizabeth,” said her brother, with seriousness not to be laughed aside, and laying his hand on hers, “before I hear another word on this matter, look me in the face and tell me deliberately that you never cared for Carleton.”
“Now, Elizabeth,” her brother said seriously, not to be dismissed with a laugh, as he placed his hand on hers, “before I hear another word on this, look me in the eye and tell me straight that you never cared for Carleton.”
“I never thought for one moment of marrying him,” said Bessie, haughtily. “If I ever had any sort of mercy on him, it was all to tease you. There, are you satisfied?”
“I never considered marrying him for even a second,” Bessie said, proudly. “If I ever felt any kind of pity for him, it was just to mess with you. There, are you happy?”
“I must be, I suppose,” he replied, and he sighed heavily. “When was this settled?”
“I guess I have to be,” he said, letting out a heavy sigh. “When did this get decided?”
“Yesterday, walking up and down the esplanade. He will tell his brother to-day, and I shall write to Lady Temple. Oh, Alick, he is so kind, he spoke so highly of you.”
“Yesterday, I was strolling along the promenade. He will tell his brother today, and I’ll write to Lady Temple. Oh, Alick, he’s so considerate; he spoke so highly of you.”
“I must say,” returned Alick, in the same grave tone, “that if you wished for the care of an old man, I should have thought my uncle the more agreeable of the two.”
“I have to say,” Alick replied in the same serious tone, “that if you wanted the company of an old man, I would have thought my uncle would be the better choice.”
“He is little past fifty. You are very hard on him.”
“He's just a little over fifty. You're being really tough on him.”
“On the contrary, I am sorry for him. You will always find it good for him to do whatever suits yourself.”
“On the contrary, I feel sorry for him. You’ll always find it beneficial for him to do whatever works for you.”
“Alick?” said his sister mournfully, “you have never forgotten or forgiven my girlish bits of neglect after your wound.”
“Alick?” his sister said sadly, “you’ve never forgotten or forgiven me for my childish lapses after your injury.”
“No, Bessie,” he said, holding her hand kindly, “it is not the neglect or the girlishness, but the excuses to me, still more to my uncle, and most of all to yourself. They are what make me afraid for you in what you are going to take upon yourself.”
“No, Bessie,” he said, holding her hand gently, “it's not the neglect or the naivety, but the excuses to me, even more to my uncle, and most importantly to yourself. Those are what make me worried for you in what you’re about to take on.”
She did not answer immediately, and he pursued—“Are you driven to this by dislike to living at Bishopsworthy? If so, do not be afraid to tell me. I will make any arrangement, if you would prefer living with Jane. We agreed once that it would be too expensive, but now I could let you have another hundred a year.”
She didn't answer right away, so he pressed on—“Are you feeling this way because you don't want to live at Bishopsworthy? If that's the case, please don't hesitate to tell me. I can make any arrangements you need if you'd rather live with Jane. We agreed before that it would be too costly, but now I could give you an extra hundred a year.”
“As if I would allow that, Alick! No, indeed! Lord Keith means you to have all my share.”
“As if I would let that happen, Alick! No way! Lord Keith intends for you to get all my share.”
“Does he? There are more words than one to that question. And pray is he going to provide properly for his poor daughter in the West Indies?”
“Does he? There’s more than one answer to that question. And is he really going to take care of his poor daughter in the West Indies?”
“I hope to induce him to take her into favour.”
"I hope to convince him to like her."
“Eh? and to make him give up to Colin Keith that Auchinvar estate that he ought to have had when Archie Keith died?”
“Wait, are we really expecting him to hand over the Auchinvar estate to Colin Keith, which he should have inherited when Archie Keith passed away?”
“You may be sure I shall do my best for the Colonel. Indeed, I do think Lord Keith will consent to the marriage now.”
"You can be sure I’ll do my best for the Colonel. Honestly, I really think Lord Keith will agree to the marriage now."
“You have sacrificed yourself on that account?” he said, with irony in his tone, that he could have repented the next moment, so good-humoured was her reply, “That is understood, so give me the merit.”
“You sacrificed yourself for that reason?” he said, with a note of irony in his voice, which he could have regretted an instant later, given how cheerful her response was, “I get it, so let me take the credit.”
“The merit of, for his sake, becoming a grandmother. You have thought of the daughters? Mrs. Comyn Menteith must be older than yourself.”
“The benefit of becoming a grandmother for his sake. Have you considered the daughters? Mrs. Comyn Menteith must be older than you.”
“Three years,” said Bessie, in his own tone of acceptance of startling facts, “and I shall have seven grandchildren in all, so you see you must respect me.”
“Three years,” Bessie said, in a tone that accepted the surprising news, “and I’ll have seven grandchildren in total, so you see you need to show me some respect.”
“Do you know her sentiments?”
“Do you know how she feels?”
“I know what they will be when we have met. Never fear, Alick. If she were not married it might be serious, being so, I have no fears.”
“I know what they’ll become after we meet. Don’t worry, Alick. If she weren't married, it could get serious, but since she is, I’m not concerned.”
Then came a silence, till a halt at the last station before Bath roused Alick again.
Then there was a silence until they stopped at the last station before Bath, which brought Alick back to attention.
“Bessie,” he said, in the low voice the stoppage permitted, “don’t think me unkind. I believe you have waited on purpose to leave me no time for expostulation, and what I have said has sounded the more harsh in consequence.”
"Bessie," he said in the quiet voice the pause allowed, "don't think I'm being unkind. I believe you've waited on purpose to give me no time to argue, and what I've said probably sounds harsher because of that."
“No, Alick,” she said, “you are a kind brother in all but the constructions you put upon my doings. I think it would be better if there were more difference between our ages. You are a young guardian, over anxious, and often morbidly fanciful about me during your illness. I think we shall be happier together when you no longer feel yourself responsible.”
“No, Alick,” she said, “you're a caring brother in every way except for the way you interpret my actions. I think it’d be better if there was a greater age gap between us. You’re a young guardian, overly anxious, and often overly dramatic about me during your illness. I believe we’ll be happier together when you no longer feel responsible.”
“The tables turned,” muttered Alick.
“The tables have turned,” muttered Alick.
“I am prepared for misconstruction,” added Bessie. “I know it will be supposed to be the title; the estate it cannot be, for you know how poor a property it is; but I do not mean to care for the world. Your opinion is a different thing, and I thought you would have seen that I could not be insensible to such dignified kindness, and the warmth of a nature that many people think cold.”
“I’m ready for misinterpretation,” Bessie added. “I know people will think it’s the title; it can’t be about the estate, considering how poor it is. But I won’t let it bother me. Your opinion matters to me, and I thought you would understand that I couldn’t be oblivious to such dignified kindness and the warmth of a personality that many people consider cold.”
“I don’t like set speeches, Bessie.”
“I don’t like prepared speeches, Bessie.”
“Then believe me, Alick. May I not love the fine old man that has been so kind to me?”
“Then believe me, Alick. Can I not love the wonderful old man who has been so kind to me?”
“I hope you do,” said Alick, slowly.
"I hope you do," Alick said slowly.
“And you can’t believe it? Not with Lady Temple before you and hers was really an old man.”
“And you can’t believe that? Not with Lady Temple right in front of you, and she really was just an old man.”
“Do not talk of her or Sir Stephen either. No, Bessie,” he added more calmly after a time, “I may be doing great injustice to you both, but I must speak what it is my duty to say. Lord Keith is a hard, self-seeking man, who has been harsh and grasping towards his family, and I verily believe came here bent on marriage, only because his brother was no longer under his tyranny. He may not be harsh to you, because he is past his vigour, and if he really loves you, you have a power of governing; but from what I know of you, I cannot believe in your loving him enough to make such management much better than selfish manoeuvring. Therefore I cannot think this marriage for your real welfare, or be other than bitterly grieved at it. Do not answer, Bessie, but think this over, and if at any time this evening you feel the least doubt of your happiness in this matter, telegraph to me, and I will stop him.”
“Don’t talk about her or Sir Stephen either. No, Bessie,” he said more calmly after a moment, “I might be doing a great injustice to both of you, but I have to say what I believe is my duty. Lord Keith is a tough, self-serving man who has been cruel and greedy toward his family, and I honestly believe he came here looking to marry only because his brother is no longer under his control. He might not be harsh to you, since he’s past his prime, and if he really loves you, you might have some influence over him; but from what I know of you, I can’t believe you love him enough to make that influence any better than self-serving tactics. So, I can’t see this marriage being for your true benefit, and I can’t help but feel deeply saddened about it. Don’t respond, Bessie, just think it over, and if at any point this evening you feel even the slightest doubt about your happiness in this situation, send me a message, and I’ll stop him.”
“Indeed, Alick,” she answered, without anger, “I believe you are very anxious for my good.”
“Of course, Alick,” she replied calmly, “I think you really care about my well-being.”
It will readily be believed that Captain Keith received no telegram.
It’s easy to believe that Captain Keith didn’t get any telegram.
Nevertheless, as soon as his time was his own the next morning, he rode to Avonmouth and sought out the Colonel, not perhaps with very defined hopes of making any change in his sister’s intentions, but feeling that some attempt on his own part must be made, if only to free himself from acquiescence, and thinking that Colin, as late guardian to the one party, and brother to the other, was the most proper medium.
Nevertheless, as soon as he had some free time the next morning, he rode to Avonmouth and looked for the Colonel, not really expecting to change his sister’s mind, but feeling that he needed to do something himself, if only to stop going along with it, and thinking that Colin, being the recent guardian of one side and brother to the other, was the best person to approach.
Colonel Keith was taken by surprise at the manner in which his cordial greeting was met. He himself had been far from displeased at his brother’s communication; it was a great relief to him personally, as well as on Lady Temple’s account, and he had been much charmed at Bessie’s good sense and engaging graces. As to disparity of years, Lord Keith had really made himself much younger of late, and there was much to excite a girl’s romance in the courtesy of an elderly man, the chief of her clan; moreover, the perfect affection and happiness Colin had been used to witness in his general’s family disposed him to make light of that objection; and he perceived that his brother was sufficiently bewitched to be likely to be kind and indulgent to his bride.
Colonel Keith was surprised by how his friendly greeting was received. He hadn’t been upset by his brother’s message; in fact, it brought him a lot of relief, both for himself and for Lady Temple. He was also quite impressed by Bessie’s common sense and charming personality. Regarding the age difference, Lord Keith had recently seemed much younger, and there was plenty to spark a girl’s romantic feelings in the polite attention of an older man, who was the leader of her clan. Additionally, the genuine love and happiness Colin had often seen in his general’s family made him dismiss any concerns about that age gap, and he noticed that his brother was clearly smitten enough to be kind and supportive to his future wife.
He had not expected Alexander Keith to be as well pleased as he was himself, but he was not prepared for his strong disapprobation, and earnest desire to find some means of prevention, and he began to reassure him upon the placability of Mrs. Comyn Menteith, the daughter, as well as upon his brother’s kindness to the objects of his real affection.
He hadn’t expected Alexander Keith to be as happy as he was, but he was caught off guard by his strong disapproval and serious desire to find a way to stop things. He started to reassure him about how forgiving Mrs. Comyn Menteith, the daughter, was, as well as about his brother’s kindness towards the people he truly cared about.
“Oh, I am not afraid of that. She will manage him fast enough.”
“Oh, I’m not worried about that. She’ll handle him just fine.”
“Very likely, and for his good. Nor need you question his being a safe guide for her in higher matters. Perhaps you are prejudiced against him because his relations with me have not been happy, but candidly, in them you know the worst of him; and no doubt he thought himself purely acting for my welfare. I know much more of him now that I have been at home with him, and I was greatly struck with his real consideration for the good of all concerned with him.”
“Very likely, and for his benefit. You shouldn’t doubt that he can be a reliable guide for her in more important matters. Maybe you’re biased against him because our relationship hasn’t been great, but honestly, in that, you’ve seen his worst side; and I’m sure he believed he was acting solely for my benefit. I’ve learned so much more about him now that I’ve been living with him, and I was really impressed by his genuine concern for everyone involved with him.”
“No, I am not thinking of Lord Keith. To speak it out, I cannot believe that my sister has heart enough in this to justify her.”
“No, I’m not thinking about Lord Keith. To say it plainly, I can’t believe that my sister has enough heart in this to justify her.”
“Young girls often are more attracted by elderly men than by lads.”
“Young girls are often more attracted to older men than to boys.”
“You do not know Bessie as, I am sorry to say, I do,” said Alick, speaking slowly and sadly, and with a flush of shame on his cheek. “I do not say that she says anything untrue, but the truth is not in her. She is one of those selfish people who are infinitely better liked than those five hundred times their worth, because they take care to be always pleased.”
“You don’t know Bessie like I do, and I’m sorry to say that,” Alick said, speaking slowly and sadly, with a flush of shame on his cheek. “I’m not saying she lies, but the truth isn’t in her. She’s one of those selfish people who are way more liked than those who are actually five hundred times better than her, just because they make sure to always seem happy.”
“They give as much pleasure as they take.”
“They give as much joy as they take.”
“Yes, they take every one in. I wish to my heart I could be taken in too, but I have seen too much of her avoidance of every service to my uncle that she did not like. I verily believe, at this moment, that one great inducement with her is to elude the care of him.”
“Yes, they accept everyone. I truly wish I could be accepted too, but I’ve seen too much of her avoiding any help for my uncle that she didn’t want to provide. I honestly believe, right now, that a big reason for her actions is to dodge taking care of him.”
“Stern judgments, Alick. I know you would not speak thus without warrant; but take it into account that marriage makes many a girl’s selfishness dual, and at last drowns the self.”
“Stern judgments, Alick. I know you wouldn’t say this without reason; but keep in mind that marriage doubles many girls’ selfishness and ultimately drowns the self.”
“Yes, when it is a marriage of affection. But the truth must be told, Colonel. There was a trumpery idle fellow always loitering at Littleworthy, and playing croquet. I set my face against it with all my might, and she always laughed to scorn the notion that there was anything in it, nor do I believe that she has heart enough to wish to marry him. I could almost say I wish she had, but I never saw her show the same pleasure in any one’s attentions, and I believe he is gone out to Rio in hopes of earning means to justify his addresses.”
“Yes, when it's a marriage based on love. But I have to be honest, Colonel. There was a worthless guy always hanging around Littleworthy, playing croquet. I did everything I could to oppose it, and she always laughed off the idea that there was anything between them. I don’t even think she cares enough to want to marry him. I could almost wish she did, but I’ve never seen her as happy with anyone else’s attention. I believe he’s gone to Rio hoping to make enough money to justify pursuing her.”
Colonel Keith sat gravely considering what he knew would not be spoken lightly. “Do you mean that there was attachment enough to make it desirable that you should tell my brother?”
Colonel Keith sat seriously contemplating what he knew wouldn't be taken lightly. “Are you saying that there was enough of a bond to make it worth telling my brother?”
“No, I could say nothing that she could not instantly contradict with perfect truth, though not with perfect sincerity.”
“No, I couldn't say anything that she couldn't immediately argue against with complete honesty, though not with complete sincerity.”
“Let me ask you one question, Alick—not a flattering one. May not some of these private impressions of yours have been coloured by your long illness!”
“Can I ask you something, Alick—not exactly a compliment. Could some of these personal impressions of yours have been influenced by your extended illness?”
“That is what Bessie gives every one to understand,” said Alick, calmly. “She is right, to a certain degree, that suffering sharpened my perceptions, and helplessness gave me time to draw conclusions. If I had been well, I might have been as much enchanted as other people; and if my uncle had not needed her care, and been neglected, I could have thought that I was rendered exacting by illness. But I imagine all I have said is not of the slightest use, only, if you think it right to tell your brother to talk to me, I would rather stand all the vituperation that would fall on me than allow this to take place.”
“That’s what Bessie makes everyone think,” Alick said calmly. “She’s right, to some extent, that suffering opened my eyes, and being helpless gave me time to reflect. If I had been healthy, I might have been just as enchanted as everyone else; and if my uncle hadn’t needed her care and been ignored, I could’ve believed that my illness made me demanding. But I doubt everything I’ve said is of any real use. However, if you think it’s a good idea to tell your brother to talk to me, I’d rather endure all the insults that would come my way than let that happen.”
Colonel Keith walked up and down the room considering, whilst Alick sat in a dejected attitude, shading his face, and not uttering how very bitter it had been to him to make the accusation, nor how dear the sister really was.
Colonel Keith paced the room, deep in thought, while Alick sat in a slumped position, hiding his face, not expressing how painful it had been for him to make the accusation, nor how much he truly cared for his sister.
“I see no purpose that would be answered,” said Colonel Keith, coming to a pause at last; “you have nothing tangible to mention, even as to the former affair that you suspect. I see a great deal in your view of her to make you uneasy, but nothing that would not be capable of explanation, above all to such a man as my brother. It would appear like mere malevolence.”
“I don’t see any point to this,” said Colonel Keith, finally stopping. “You have nothing concrete to bring up, even regarding the previous situation you’re concerned about. I can see why you might be worried about your perspective on her, but there’s nothing that couldn’t be explained, especially by someone like my brother. It would come off as just pure malice.”
“Never mind what it would appear,” said Alick, who was evidently in such a ferment as his usually passive demeanour would have seemed incapable of.
“Forget how it looks,” said Alick, who was clearly in such a state of agitation that his normally calm demeanor wouldn’t have suggested.
“If the appearance would entirely baffle the purpose, it must be considered,” said the Colonel; “and in this case it could only lead to estrangement, which would be a lasting evil. I conclude that you have remonstrated with your sister.”
“If the appearance would completely confuse the goal, it needs to be considered,” said the Colonel; “and in this case, it could only lead to distance, which would be a lasting problem. I assume that you have already talked to your sister.”
“As much as she gave me time for; but of course that is breath spent in vain.”
“As much time as she gave me; but of course, that's time wasted.”
“Your uncle had the same means of judging as yourself.”
“Your uncle had the same way of judging as you did.”
“No, Colonel, he could do nothing! In the first place, there can be no correspondence with him; and next, he is so devotedly fond of Bessie, that he would no more believe anything against her than Lady Temple would. I have tried that more than once.”
“No, Colonel, he could do nothing! First of all, there's no way to communicate with him; and besides, he is so deeply in love with Bessie that he wouldn't believe anything bad about her any more than Lady Temple would. I've tried that more than once.”
“Then, Alick, there is nothing for it but to let it take its course; and even upon your own view, your sister will be much safer married than single.”
“Then, Alick, there’s nothing to do but let it run its course; and even in your opinion, your sister will be much safer married than single.”
“I had very little expectation of your saying anything else, but in common honesty I felt bound to let you know.”
“I didn’t really expect you to say anything different, but out of honesty, I felt it was my duty to let you know.”
“And now the best thing to be done is to forget all you have said.”
“And now the best thing to do is to forget everything you’ve said.”
“Which you will do the more easily as you think it an amiable delusion of mine. Well, so much the better. I dare say you will never think otherwise, and I would willingly believe that my senses went after my fingers’ ends.”
“Which you’ll find easier to accept since you see it as a charming misconception of mine. Well, that’s fine by me. I doubt you’ll ever see it any differently, and I’d gladly believe that my senses followed the tips of my fingers.”
The Colonel almost believed so himself. He was aware of the miserably sensitive condition of shattered nerve in which Alick had been sent home, and of the depression of spirits that had ensued on the news of his father’s death; and he thought it extremely probable that his weary hours and solicitude for his gay young sister might have made molehills into mountains, and that these now weighed on his memory and conscience. At least, this seemed the only way of accounting for an impression so contrary to that which Bessie Keith made on every one else, and, by his own avowal, on the uncle whom he so much revered. Every other voice proclaimed her winning, amiable, obliging, considerate, and devoted to the service of her friends, with much drollery and shrewdness of perception, tempered by kindness of heart and unwillingness to give pain; and on that sore point of residence with the blind uncle, it was quite possibly a bit of Alick’s exaggerated feeling to imagine the arrangement so desirable—the young lady might be the better judge.
The Colonel almost believed it himself. He knew about the fragile state of Alick’s shattered nerves when he was sent home, and the sadness that followed the news of his father’s death. He thought it was very likely that the long hours and worry for his cheerful young sister had turned small problems into big ones, and that these were now weighing on his mind and conscience. At least, this seemed to be the only explanation for a feeling so different from what Bessie Keith made everyone else feel, and, by his own admission, from what her uncle, whom he admired greatly, felt. Every other voice said she was charming, friendly, helpful, thoughtful, and dedicated to her friends, with a lot of humor and sharp insight, balanced by kindness and a desire not to hurt anyone. Regarding the sensitive issue of living with the blind uncle, Alick’s feelings might have been a bit exaggerated in thinking the arrangement was so ideal—the young lady might have a better perspective.
On the whole, the expostulation left Colonel Keith more uncomfortable on Alick’s account than on that of his brother.
Overall, the argument made Colonel Keith feel more uneasy about Alick than about his brother.
CHAPTER XVI. AN APPARITION.
“And there will be auld Geordie Tanner, Who coft a young wife wi’ his gowd.” JOANNA BAILLIE.
“And there will be old Geordie Tanner, Who bought a young wife with his gold.” JOANNA BAILLIE.
“Mamma,” quoth Leoline, “I thought a woman must not marry her grandfather. And she called him the patriarch of her clan.”
“Mama,” Leoline said, “I thought a woman wasn’t supposed to marry her grandfather. And she called him the patriarch of her clan.”
“He is a cross old man,” added Hubert. “He said children ought not to be allowed on the esplanade, because he got into the way as I was pushing the perambulator.”
“He's a grumpy old man,” added Hubert. “He said kids shouldn't be allowed on the esplanade because I got in his way while pushing the stroller.”
“This was the reason,” said Francis, gravely, “that she stopped me from braying at him. I shall know what people are at, when they talk of disrespect another time.”
“This was the reason,” said Francis seriously, “that she stopped me from insulting him. I’ll understand what people mean when they talk about disrespect next time.”
“Don’t talk of her,” cried Conrade, flinging himself round; “women have no truth in them.”
"Don't talk about her," Conrade yelled, spinning around. "Women have no honesty in them."
“Except the dear, darling, delightful mammy!” And the larger proportion of boys precipitated themselves headlong upon her, so that any one but a mother would have been buffeted out of breath in their struggles for embracing ground; and even Lady Temple found it a relief when Hubert, having been squeezed out, bethought himself of extending the honourable exception to Miss Williams, and thus effected a diversion. What would have been the young gentlemen’s reception of his lordship’s previous proposal!
“Except the dear, sweet, lovely mom!” And most of the boys launched themselves at her, so that anyone other than a mother would have been out of breath from their attempts to get close; even Lady Temple felt relieved when Hubert, having been pushed aside, remembered to include Miss Williams in the warm welcome, creating a distraction. What would those young gentlemen have thought of his lordship's earlier proposal!
Yet in the fulness of her gladness the inconsistent widow, who had thought Lord Keith so much too old for herself, gave her younger friend heartfelt congratulations upon the blessing of being under fatherly direction and guidance. She was entrusted with the announcement to Rachel, who received it with a simple “Indeed!” and left her cousin unmolested in her satisfaction, having long relegated Fanny to the class of women who think having a friend about to be married the next best thing to being married themselves, no matter to whom.
Yet in the midst of her joy, the inconsistent widow, who had previously thought Lord Keith was way too old for her, gave her younger friend sincere congratulations on the gift of having fatherly direction and guidance. She was given the task of telling Rachel, who responded with a simple “Really!” and left her cousin content, having long considered Fanny to be one of those women who think having a friend about to get married is the next best thing to getting married themselves, no matter who it is.
“Aspirations in women are mere delusions,” was her compensating sigh to Grace. “There is no truer saying, than that a woman will receive every man.”
“Aspirations in women are just illusions,” was her resigned sigh to Grace. “There’s no saying truer than that a woman will attract every man.”
“I have always been glad that is aprocryphal,” said Grace, “and Eastern women have no choice.”
“I’ve always been happy that it’s apocryphal,” Grace said, “and Eastern women have no choice.”
“Nor are Western women better than Eastern,” said Rachel. “It is all circumstances. No mental power or acuteness has in any instance that I have yet seen, been able to balance the propensity to bondage. The utmost flight is, that the attachment should not be unworthy.”
“Western women aren't better than Eastern ones,” Rachel said. “It's all about the circumstances. No amount of intelligence or sharpness has been able to outweigh the tendency towards subjugation in any situation I’ve encountered so far. The best outcome is that the attachment should at least be worthy.”
“I own that I am very much surprised,” said Grace.
“I admit that I’m really surprised,” said Grace.
“I am not at all,” said Rachel. “I have given up hoping better things. I was beginning to have a high opinion of Bessie Keith’s capabilities, but womanhood was at the root all the time; and, as her brother says, she has had great disadvantages, and I can make excuses for her. She had not her heart filled with one definite scheme of work and usefulness, such as deters the trifling and designing.”
“I’m definitely not,” said Rachel. “I’ve stopped hoping for better things. I was starting to think highly of Bessie Keith’s abilities, but womanhood was at the core all along; and, as her brother says, she’s faced significant challenges, so I can understand her situation. She didn’t have her heart set on a clear plan for work and purpose, which usually keeps people from being shallow and manipulative.”
“Like the F. U. E. E.?”
“Like the F. U. E. E.?”
“Yes, the more I see of the fate of other women, the more thankful I am that my vocation has taken a formed and developed shape.”
“Yes, the more I see what happens to other women, the more grateful I am that my career has taken a clear and developed path.”
And thus Rachel could afford to speak without severity of the match, though she abstained from congratulation. She did not see Captain Keith for the next few days, but at last the two sisters met him at the Cathedral door as they were getting into the carriage after a day’s shopping at Avoncester; and Grace offered her congratulations, in accordance with her mother’s old fashioned code.
And so Rachel could speak about the match without being harsh, even though she didn’t congratulate him. She didn’t see Captain Keith for the next few days, but finally, the two sisters ran into him at the Cathedral entrance as they were getting into the car after a day of shopping in Avoncester; and Grace offered her congratulations, following her mother’s traditional values.
“Thank you,” he said; then turning to Rachel, “Did she write to you?”
“Thanks,” he said; then turning to Rachel, “Did she message you?”
“No.”
“Nope.”
“I thought not.”
"I didn't think so."
There was something marked in his tone, but his sister’s silence was not of long duration, for a letter arrived containing orders for lace, entreating that a high pressure might be put on Mrs. Kelland, and containing beauteous devices for the veil, which was to be completed in a fearfully short time, since the wedding was to be immediate, in order that Lord Keith might spend Christmas and the ensuing cold months abroad. It was to take place at Bath, and was to be as quiet as possible; “or else,” wrote Miss Keith, “I should have been enchanted to have overcome your reluctance to witness the base surrender of female rights. I am afraid you are only too glad to be let off, only don’t thank me, but circumstances.”
There was something significant in his tone, but his sister's silence didn't last long, as a letter arrived with orders for lace, urging that Mrs. Kelland be pressured, and including beautiful designs for the veil, which needed to be finished in no time since the wedding was happening soon, so Lord Keith could spend Christmas and the cold months abroad. It was set to take place in Bath and was meant to be as low-key as possible; “or else,” Miss Keith wrote, “I would have loved to convince you to witness the disgraceful surrender of women's rights. I'm afraid you're just too happy to be excused, so don't thank me, but the circumstances.”
Rachel’s principles revolted at the quantity of work demanded of the victims to lace, and Grace could hardly obtain leave to consult Mrs. Kelland. But she snapped at the order, for the honour and glory of the thing, and undertook through the ramifications of her connexion to obtain the whole bridal array complete. “For such a pleasant-spoken lady as Miss Keith, she would sit up all night rather than disappoint her.”
Rachel's principles revolted at the amount of work required from the victims to lace, and Grace could barely get permission to talk to Mrs. Kelland. But she was quick to accept the challenge, for the honor and glory of it, and took it upon herself to navigate her connections to get the entire bridal outfit ready. “For such a nice lady as Miss Keith, she would stay up all night rather than let her down.”
The most implacable person of all was the old housekeeper, Tibbie. She had been warmly attached to Lady Keith, and resented her having a successor, and one younger than her daughters; and above all, ever since the son and heir had died, she had reckoned on her own Master Colin coming to the honours of the family, and regarded this new marriage as a crossing of Providence. She vainly endeavoured to stir up Master Colin to remonstrate on his brother’s “makin’ siccan a fule’s bargain wi’ yon glaikit lass. My certie, but he’ll hae the warst o’t, honest man; rinnin’ after her, wi’ a’ her whigmaleries an’ cantrips. He’ll rue the day that e’er he bowed his noble head to the likes o’ her, I’m jalousin.”
The most relentless person of all was the old housekeeper, Tibbie. She had been very close to Lady Keith and resented having a younger successor, especially one younger than her daughters; and most of all, ever since the son and heir had died, she had expected her own Master Colin to take on the family honors, viewing this new marriage as a disruption of fate. She desperately tried to get Master Colin to speak out against his brother’s “making such a foolish deal with that silly girl. Honestly, he’ll regret it, poor man; chasing after her with all her nonsense and tricks. He’ll regret the day he ever bowed his noble head to someone like her, I’m sure.”
It was to no purpose to remind her that the bride was a Keith in blood; her great grandfather a son of the house of Gowanbrae; all the subsequent descendants brave soldiers.
It was pointless to remind her that the bride was a Keith by blood; her great-grandfather was a son of the house of Gowanbrae, and all the following descendants were brave soldiers.
“A Keith ca’ ye her! It’s a queer kin’ o’ Keiths she’s comed o’, nae better nor Englishers that haena sae muckle’s set fit in our bonny Scotland; an’ sic scriechin’, skirlin’ tongues as they hae, a body wad need to be gleg i’ the uptak to understan’ a word they say. Tak’ my word for’t, Maister Colin, it’s no a’thegither luve for his lordship’s grey hairs that gars yon gilpy lassock seek to become my Leddy Keith.”
“A Keith, you call her! It's a strange kind of Keith she comes from, no better than those English who haven’t even set foot in our beautiful Scotland; and with such screeching, shrill voices they have, you’d need to be quick to catch any word they say. Take my word for it, Master Colin, it’s not entirely love for his lordship’s gray hair that makes that pesky girl want to be my Lady Keith.”
“Nay, Tibbie, if you find fault with such a sweet, winning young creature, I shall think it is all because you will not endure a mistress at Gowanbrae over you.”
“Nah, Tibbie, if you have a problem with such a sweet, charming young woman, I’ll think it’s just because you can’t stand having someone in charge at Gowanbrae.”
“His lordship’ll please himsel’ wi’ a leddy to be mistress o’ Gowanbrae, but auld Tibbie’ll never cross the doorstane mair.”
“His lordship will make himself happy with a lady to be the mistress of Gowanbrae, but old Tibbie will never cross the threshold again.”
“Indeed you will, Tibbie; here are my brother’s orders that you should go down, as soon as you can conveniently make ready, and see about the new plenishing.”
“Sure thing, Tibbie; here are my brother’s instructions that you should head down as soon as it’s convenient for you to get ready and check on the new supplies.”
“They may see to the plenishing that’s to guide it after han, an’ that’ll no be me. My lord’ll behove to tak’ his orders aff his young leddy ance he’s married on her, may be a whilie afore, but that’s no to bind ither folk, an’ it’s no to be thought that at my years I’m to be puttin’ up wi’ a’ ther new fangled English fykes an’ nonsense maggots. Na, na, Maister Colin, his lordship’ll fend weel aneugh wantin’ Tibbie; an’ what for suld I leave yerself, an’ you settin’ up wi’ a house o’ yer ain? Deed an’ my mind’s made up, I’ll e’en bide wi’ ye, an’ nae mair about it.”
“They can handle the planning that follows, and that won’t be me. My lord will need to take his orders from his young lady once he marries her, maybe for a while before, but that doesn’t mean it should affect anyone else, and it’s not right to think that at my age I should put up with all this newfangled English nonsense. No way, Master Colin, his lordship will manage just fine without Tibbie; and why should I leave you when you’re setting up a place of your own? Honestly, I’ve made up my mind, I’ll stay with you, and that’s final.”
“Stay, stay,” cried Colin, a glow coming into his cheeks, “don’t reckon without your host, Tibbie. Do you think Gowanbrae the second is never to have any mistress but yourself?”
“Wait, wait,” Colin said, a flush rising to his cheeks, “don’t underestimate your host, Tibbie. Do you really think Gowanbrae the second is only ever going to have you as its mistress?”
“Haud awa’ wi’ ye, laddie, I ken fine what ye’ra ettlin’ at, but yon’s a braw leddy, no like thae English folk, but a woman o’ understandin’, an’ mair by token I’m thinkin’ she’ll be gleg aneugh to ken a body that’ll serve her weel, an’ see to the guidin’ o’ thae feckless queens o’ servant lasses, for bad’s the best o’ them ye’ll fin’ hereawa’. Nae fear but her an’ me’ll put it up weel thegither, an’ a’ gude be wi’ ye baith.”
“Get away from me, kid, I know exactly what you’re getting at, but that’s a beautiful lady, not like those English folks, but a woman of understanding, and I’m thinking she’ll be sharp enough to recognize someone who will serve her well and manage these useless servant girls, because the best of them you’ll find around here are pretty bad. Don’t worry, her and I will handle things well together, and all the best to you both.”
After this Colin resigned himself and his household to Tibbie’s somewhat despotic government, at least for the present. To Ermine’s suggestion that her appellation hardly suited the dignity of her station, he replied that Isabel was too romantic for southern ears, and that her surname being the same as his own, he was hardly prepared to have the title of Mrs. Keith pre-occupied. So after Mrs. Curtis’s example, the world for the most part knew the colonel’s housekeeper as Mrs. Tibbs.
After this, Colin accepted Tibbie’s somewhat controlling way of running things, at least for now. When Ermine suggested that her name didn’t really match her important position, he said that Isabel sounded too romantic for people down south, and since her last name was the same as his, he wasn’t ready to let the title of Mrs. Keith be taken by anyone else. So, following Mrs. Curtis’s lead, most people referred to the colonel’s housekeeper as Mrs. Tibbs.
She might be a tyrant, but liberties were taken with her territory; for almost the first use that the colonel made of his house was to ask a rheumatic sergeant, who had lately been invalided, to come and benefit by the Avonmouth climate. Scottish hospitality softened Tibbie’s heart, and when she learnt that Sergeant O’Brien had helped to carry Master Colin into camp after his wound, she thought nothing too good for him. The Colonel then ventured to add to the party an exemplary consumptive tailor from Mr. Mitchell’s parish, who might yet be saved by good living and good air. Some growls were elicited, but he proved to be so deplorably the ninetieth rather than the ninth part of a man, that Tibbie made it her point of honour to fatten him; and the sergeant found him such an intelligent auditor of the Indian exploits of the —th Highlanders that mutual respect was fully established, and high politeness reigned supreme, even though the tailor could never be induced to delight in the porridge, on which the sergeant daily complimented the housekeeper in original and magnificent metaphors.
She might be a tyrant, but people took liberties with her territory; for almost the first thing the colonel did when he got his house was invite a rheumatic sergeant, who had recently been disabled, to come benefit from the Avonmouth climate. Scottish hospitality warmed Tibbie’s heart, and when she learned that Sergeant O’Brien had helped carry Master Colin into camp after his injury, she thought nothing was too good for him. The Colonel then decided to add to the group an exemplary consumptive tailor from Mr. Mitchell’s parish, who might still be saved by good food and good air. Some complaints were heard, but he turned out to be so pathetically far from being a full person that Tibbie made it her mission to fatten him up; and the sergeant found him to be such an intelligent listener to the Indian exploits of the —th Highlanders that mutual respect was fully established, and high politeness ruled, even though the tailor could never be persuaded to enjoy the porridge, which the sergeant daily praised to the housekeeper in original and grand metaphors.
Nor had the Colonel any anxieties in leaving the representatives of the three nations together while he went to attend his brother’s wedding. He proposed that Tibbie should conduct Rose for the daily walk of which he had made a great point, thinking that the child did not get exercise enough, since she was so averse to going alone upon the esplanade that her aunt forbore to press it. She manifested the same reluctance to going out with Tibbie, and this the Colonel ascribed to her fancying herself too old to be under the charge of a nurse. It was trying to laugh her out of her dignity, but without eliciting an answer, when, one afternoon just as they were entering together upon the esplanade, he felt her hand tighten upon his own with a nervous frightened clutch, as she pressed tremulously to his side.
Nor did the Colonel worry about leaving the representatives of the three nations together while he went to his brother’s wedding. He suggested that Tibbie should take Rose for their daily walk, which he had emphasized was important, believing that the child didn’t get enough exercise. She was so reluctant to go out alone on the esplanade that her aunt stopped pushing her to do it. Rose showed the same reluctance to go out with Tibbie, and the Colonel thought it was because she felt too grown up to be supervised by a nurse. It was frustrating to try to make her laugh and get past her dignity, but without getting a response. One afternoon, just as they stepped onto the esplanade together, he felt her hand grip his tightly in a nervous, frightened clutch as she leaned tremulously against him.
“What is it, my dear? That dog is not barking at you. He only wants to have a stick thrown into the sea for him.”
“What’s up, my dear? That dog isn’t barking at you. He just wants someone to throw a stick into the ocean for him.”
“Oh not the dog! It was—”
"Oh no, not the dog! It was—"
“Was, what?”
“What was that?”
“HIM!” gasped Rose.
"That guy!" gasped Rose.
“Who?” inquired the Colonel, far from prepared for the reply, in a terrified whisper,—
“Who?” asked the Colonel, completely unprepared for the response, in a terrified whisper,—
“Mr. Maddox.”
“Mr. Maddox.”
“My dear child! Which, where?”
“My dear child! Which one, where?”
“He is gone! he is past. Oh, don’t turn back! Don’t let me see him again.”
“He's gone! He's out of here. Oh, don’t look back! Don’t let me see him again.”
“You don’t suppose he could hurt you, my dear.”
“You don’t think he could hurt you, my dear.”
“No,” hesitated Rose, “not with you.”
“No,” Rose hesitated, “not with you.”
“Nor with any one.”
"Nor with anyone."
“I suppose not,” said Rose, common sense reviving, though her grasp was not relaxed.
“I guess not,” said Rose, her common sense coming back, even though her grip hadn't loosened.
“Would it distress you very much to try to point him out to me?” said the Colonel, in his irresistibly sweet tone.
“Would it bother you a lot to try to point him out to me?” said the Colonel, in his irresistibly sweet tone.
“I will. Only keep hold of my hand, pray,” and the little hand trembled so much that he felt himself committing a cruel action in leading her along the esplanade, but there was no fresh start of recognition, and when they had gone the whole length, she breathed more freely, and said, “No, he was not there.”
“I will. Just hold my hand, please,” and the little hand shook so much that he felt he was being cruel by taking her along the esplanade, but there was no new spark of recognition, and when they reached the end, she sighed in relief and said, “No, he wasn’t there.”
Recollecting how young she had been at the time of Maddox’s treason, the Colonel began to doubt if her imagination had not raised a bugbear, and he questioned her, “My dear, why are you so much afraid, of this person? What do you know about him?”
Recollecting how young she had been at the time of Maddox’s treason, the Colonel started to wonder if her imagination had created a monster, and he asked her, “My dear, why are you so afraid of this person? What do you know about him?”
“He told wicked stories of my papa,” said Rose, very low.
“He shared terrible stories about my dad,” Rose said softly.
“True, but he could not hurt you. You don’t think he goes about like Red Ridinghood’s wolf?”
“True, but he couldn't hurt you. You don’t think he goes around like Little Red Riding Hood’s wolf?”
“No, I am not so silly now.”
“No, I’m not that foolish anymore.”
“Are you sure you know him? Did you often see him in your papa’s house?”
“Are you sure you know him? Did you see him a lot at your dad's house?”
“No, he was always in the laboratory, and I might not go there.”
“No, he was always in the lab, and I wasn’t allowed to go there.”
“Then you see, Rose, it must be mere fancy that you saw him, for you could not even know him by sight.”
“Then you see, Rose, it must just be your imagination that you saw him, because you wouldn't even recognize him by sight.”
“It was not fancy,” said Rose, gentle and timid as ever, but still obviously injured at the tone of reproof.
“It wasn’t fancy,” Rose said, gentle and shy as always, but still clearly hurt by the tone of criticism.
“My dear child,” said Colonel Keith, with some exertion of patience, “you must try to be reasonable. How can you possibly recognise a man that you tell me you never saw?”
“My dear child,” said Colonel Keith, with some effort to be patient, “you need to try to be reasonable. How can you possibly recognize a man you say you’ve never seen?”
“I said I never saw him in the house,” said Rose with a shudder; “but they said if ever I told they would give me to the lions in the Zoological Gardens.”
“I said I never saw him in the house,” Rose said with a shiver; “but they said if I ever told, they would throw me to the lions in the zoo.”
“Who said so?”
"Who said that?"
“He, Mr. Maddox and Maria,” she answered, in such trepidation that he could scarcely hear her.
“He, Mr. Maddox, and Maria,” she replied, with so much hesitation that he could barely hear her.
“But you are old and wise enough now to know what a foolish and wicked threat that was, my dear.”
“But you’re old and wise enough now to understand what a foolish and cruel threat that was, my dear.”
“Yes, I was a little girl then, and knew no better, and once I did tell a lie when mamma asked me, and now she is dead, and I can never tell her the truth.”
“Yes, I was a little girl then, and I didn’t know any better, and once I told a lie when mom asked me, and now she’s gone, and I can never tell her the truth.”
Colin dreaded a public outbreak of the sobs that heaved in the poor child’s throat, but she had self-control enough to restrain them till he had led her into his own library, where he let her weep out her repentance for the untruth, which, wrested from her by terror, had weighed so long on her conscience. He felt that he was sparing Ermine something by receiving the first tempest of tears, in the absolute terror and anguish of revealing the secret that had preyed on her with mysterious horror.
Colin was afraid of a public display of the sobs that trembled in the poor child’s throat, but she had enough self-control to hold them back until he brought her into his library. There, he allowed her to cry out her remorse for the lie, which had been forced from her by fear and had burdened her conscience for so long. He felt that by taking on the initial storm of her tears, he was sparing Ermine some pain during the sheer terror and anguish of revealing the secret that had haunted her with strange dread.
“Now tell me all about it, my dear little girl. Who was this Maria?”
“Now tell me everything, my dear girl. Who was this Maria?”
“Maria was my nurse when I lived at home. She used to take me out walking,” said Rose, pressing closer to his protecting breast, and pausing as though still afraid of her own words.
“Maria was my nurse when I lived at home. She used to take me for walks,” said Rose, moving closer to his protective embrace and hesitating as if still scared of her own words.
“Well,” he said, beginning to perceive, “and was it than that you saw this Maddox?”
“Well,” he said, starting to understand, “is that when you saw this Maddox?”
“Yes, he used to come and walk with us, and sit under the trees in Kensington Gardens with her. And sometimes he gave me lemon-drops, but they said if ever I told, the lions should have me. I used to think I might be saved like Daniel; but after I told the lie, I knew I should not. Mamma asked me why my fingers were sticky, and I did say it was from a lemon-drop, but there were Maria’s eyes looking at me; oh, so dreadful, and when mamma asked who gave it to me, and Maria said, ‘I did, did not I, Miss Rose?’ Oh, I did not seem able to help saying ‘yes.’”
“Yes, he used to come and walk with us and sit under the trees in Kensington Gardens with her. And sometimes he gave me lemon drops, but they said if I ever told, the lions would get me. I used to think I might be saved like Daniel, but after I lied, I knew I wouldn’t be. Mom asked me why my fingers were sticky, and I said it was from a lemon drop, but Maria’s eyes were looking at me, oh, so intensely, and when Mom asked who gave it to me, and Maria said, ‘I did, didn’t I, Miss Rose?’ Oh, I couldn’t help saying ‘yes.’”
“Poor child! And you never dared to speak of it again?”
“Poor kid! And you never had the guts to bring it up again?”
“Oh, no! I did long to tell; but, oh, one night it was written up in letters of fire, ‘Beware of the Lions.’”
“Oh, no! I really wanted to say something; but, oh, one night it was written in flames, ‘Beware of the Lions.’”
“Terror must have set you dreaming, my dear.”
“Terror must have made you start dreaming, my dear.”
“No,” said Rose, earnestly. “I was quite awake. Papa and mamma were gone out to dine and sleep, and Maria would put me to bed half an hour too soon. She read me to sleep, but by-and-by I woke up, as I always did at mamma’s bed time, and the candle was gone, and there were those dreadful letters in light over the door.”
“No,” Rose said earnestly. “I was wide awake. Mom and Dad had gone out to dinner and for the night, and Maria put me to bed half an hour early. She read to me until I fell asleep, but eventually, I woke up, just like I always did at Mom’s bedtime, and the candle was out, and there were those terrible letters glowing above the door.”
She spoke with such conviction that he became persuaded that all was not delusion, and asked what she did.
She spoke with such certainty that he started to believe it wasn’t all just a fantasy and asked her what she did.
“I jumped up, and screamed, and opened the door; but there they were growling in papa’s dressing-room.”
“I jumped up, screamed, and opened the door; but there they were growling in Dad’s dressing room.”
“They, the lions? Oh, Rose, you must know that was impossible.”
“They, the lions? Oh, Rose, you have to know that was impossible.”
“No, I did not see any lions, but I heard the growl, and Mr. Maddox coughed, and said, ‘Here they come,’ and growled again.”
“No, I didn’t see any lions, but I heard the growl, and Mr. Maddox coughed and said, ‘Here they come,’ and growled again.”
“And you—?”
"And you?"
“I tumbled into bed again, and rolled up my head in the clothes, and prayed that it might be day, and it was at last!”
“I flopped into bed again, wrapped my head in the clothes, and hoped that it would be morning, and finally it was!”
“Poor child! Indeed, Rose, I do not wonder at your terror, I never heard of a more barbarous trick.”
“Poor kid! Seriously, Rose, I can’t blame you for being scared; I’ve never heard of a more brutal trick.”
“Was it a trick?” said Rose, raising a wonderfully relieved and hopeful face.
“Was it a trick?” Rose asked, her face filled with relief and hope.
“Did you never hear of writing in phosphorus, a substance that shines at night as the sea sometimes does?”
“Have you never heard of writing with phosphorus, a material that glows at night like the sea sometimes does?”
“Aunt Ailie has a book with a story about writing in fiery letters, but it frightened me so much that I never read to the end.”
“Aunt Ailie has a book with a story written in fiery letters, but it scared me so much that I never finished reading it.”
“Bring it to me, and we will read it together, and then you will see that such a cruel use can be made of phosphorus.”
“Bring it to me, and we’ll read it together, and then you’ll see how cruelly phosphorus can be used.”
“It was unkind of them,” said Rose, sadly, “I wonder if they did it for fun?”
“It was mean of them,” said Rose, sadly, “I wonder if they did it just for fun?”
“Where did you sleep?”
"Where did you crash?"
“I had a little room that opened into mamma’s.”
“I had a small room that connected to my mom’s.”
“And where was all this growling?”
“And where was all this growling happening?”
“In papa’s room. The door was just opposite to mine, and was open. All the light was there, you know. Mamma’s room was dark, but there was a candle in the dressing-room.”
“In Dad’s room. The door was right across from mine and was open. All the light was there, you know. Mom’s room was dark, but there was a candle in the dressing room.”
“Did you see anything?”
“Did you see something?”
“Only the light. It was such a moment. I don’t think I saw Mr. Maddox, but I am quite certain I heard him, for he had an odd little cough.”
“Only the light. It was such a moment. I don’t think I saw Mr. Maddox, but I’m pretty sure I heard him, because he had a strange little cough.”
“Then, Rose, I have little doubt that all this cruelty to you, poor inoffensive little being, was to hide some plots against your father.”
“Then, Rose, I have no doubt that all this cruelty towards you, poor defenseless little one, was meant to cover up some schemes against your father.”
She caught his meaning with the quickness of a mind precocious on some points though childish on others. “Then if I had been brave and told the truth, he might never have hurt papa.”
She understood what he meant quickly, having a sharp mind in some ways but still childish in others. “So if I had been brave and told the truth, he might never have hurt Dad.”
“Mind, I do not know, and I never thought of blaming you, the chief sufferer! No, don’t begin to cry again.”
“Look, I don’t know, and I never intended to blame you, the main person affected! No, don’t start crying again.”
“Ah! but I did tell a lie. And I never can confess it to mamma,” she said, recurring to the sad lament so long suppressed.
“Ah! but I lied. And I can never admit it to mom,” she said, returning to the sad complaint she had kept bottled up for so long.
She found a kind comforter, who led her to the higher sources of consolation, feeling all the time the deep self-accusation with which the sight of sweet childish penitence must always inspire a grown person.
She found a kind friend who guided her to deeper sources of comfort, all the while feeling the intense guilt that seeing sweet childish remorse always brings to an adult.
“And now you will not fear to tell your aunt,” he added, “only it should be when you can mention it without such sad crying.”
“And now you won’t be afraid to tell your aunt,” he added, “but it should be when you can talk about it without crying so much.”
“Telling you is almost as good as telling her,” said Rose, “and I feel safe with you,” she added, caressingly drawing his arm round her. “Please tell Aunt Ermine, for my crying does give her such a headache.”
“Telling you is almost as good as telling her,” Rose said, “and I feel safe with you,” she added, gently pulling his arm around her. “Please tell Aunt Ermine, because my crying really gives her such a headache.”
“I will, then, and I think when we all know it, the terrors will leave you.”
“I will, then, and I think when we all understand it, the fears will go away.”
“Not when I see Mr. Maddox. Oh, please now you know why, don’t make me walk without you. I do know now that he could not do anything to me, but I can’t help feeling the fright. And, oh! if he was to speak to me!”
“Not when I see Mr. Maddox. Oh, come on now, you get why, don’t make me walk without you. I realize now that he can’t do anything to me, but I can’t shake the fear. And, oh! what if he talks to me!”
“You have not seen him here before?”
"You haven't seen him here before?"
“Yes I have, at least I think so. Once when Aunt Ermine sent me to the post-office, and another time on the esplanade. That is why I can’t bear going out without you or Aunt Ailie. Indeed, it is not disliking Tibbie.”
“Yes, I have, or at least I think so. Once when Aunt Ermine sent me to the post office, and another time on the esplanade. That’s why I can’t stand going out without you or Aunt Ailie. It’s not that I dislike Tibbie.”
“I see it is not, my dear, and we will say no more about it till you have conquered your alarm; but remember, that he is not likely to know you again. You must be more changed in these three years than he is.”
“I can tell it’s not, my dear, and we won’t discuss it any further until you’ve dealt with your fear; but keep in mind that he probably won’t recognize you. You must have changed more in these three years than he has.”
This consideration seemed to reassure Rose greatly, and her next inquiry was, “Please, are my eyes very red for going home?”
This made Rose feel a lot better, and her next question was, “Am I going home with very red eyes?”
“Somewhat mottled—something of the York and Lancaster rose. Shall I leave you under Tibbie’s care till the maiden blush complexion returns, and come back and fetch you when you have had a grand exhibition of my Indian curiosities?”
“Somewhat speckled—kind of like the York and Lancaster rose. Should I leave you in Tibbie’s care until your rosy complexion comes back, and then return to pick you up when you’ve had a great display of my Indian treasures?”
“Have you Indian curiosities! I thought they were only for ladies?”
“Do you have Indian curiosities? I thought those were just for women?”
“Perhaps they are. Is Tibbie guard enough? You know there’s an Irish sergeant in the house taller than I am, if you want a garrison?”
“Maybe they are. Is Tibbie enough of a guard? You know there’s an Irish sergeant in the house who’s taller than I am, if you need protection?”
“Oh, I am not afraid, only these eyes.”
“Oh, I’m not scared, just these eyes.”
“I will tell her you have been frightened, and she shall take no notice.”
“I'll tell her you were scared, and she won't pay any attention.”
Tibbie was an admirer of Rose and gladly made her welcome, while the Colonel repaired to Ermine, and greatly startled her by the disclosure of the miseries that had been inflicted on the sensitive child.
Tibbie admired Rose and happily welcomed her, while the Colonel went to Ermine and shocked her by revealing the pain that had been caused to the sensitive child.
It had indeed been known that there had been tyranny in the nursery, and to this cause the aunts imputed the startled wistful expression in Rose’s eyes; but they had never questioned her, thinking that silence would best wear out the recollection. The only wonder was that her senses had not been permanently injured by that night of terror, which accounted for her unconquerable dread of sleeping in the dark; and a still more inexplicable horror of the Zoological Gardens, together with many a nervous misery that Ermine had found it vain to combat. The Colonel asked if the nurse’s cruelty had been the cause of her dismissal?
It was well known that there had been tyranny in the nursery, and the aunts attributed the startled, longing look in Rose's eyes to this. However, they never questioned her, believing that keeping silent would help diminish the memory. The only surprising thing was that her senses hadn't been permanently damaged by that night of fear, which explained her unshakable fear of sleeping in the dark, and an even more puzzling terror of the Zoological Gardens, along with the many anxious troubles that Ermine found it useless to fight against. The Colonel asked if the nurse's cruelty had been the reason for her dismissal?
“No, it was not discovered till after her departure. Her fate has always been a great grief to us, though we little thought her capable of using Rose in this way. She was one of the Hathertons. You must remember the name, and the pretty picturesque hovel on the Heath.”
“No, it wasn't discovered until after she left. Her fate has always been a great sorrow for us, even though we never thought she would use Rose like this. She was one of the Hathertons. You must remember the name and the charming little cottage on the Heath.”
“The squatters that were such a grievance to my uncle. Always suspected of poaching, and never caught.”
“The squatters who were such a headache for my uncle. Always suspected of poaching and never caught.”
“Exactly. Most of the girls turned out ill, but this one, the youngest, was remarkably intelligent and attractive at school. I remember making an excuse for calling her into the garden for you to see and confess that English beauty exceeded Scottish, and you called her a gipsy and said we had no right to her.”
“Exactly. Most of the girls ended up being unwell, but this one, the youngest, was exceptionally bright and pretty in school. I remember coming up with an excuse to bring her into the garden for you to see and admitting that English beauty surpassed Scottish, and you called her a gypsy and said we had no right to her.”
“So it was those big black eyes that had that fiendish malice in them!”
“So it was those big black eyes that had that wicked malice in them!”
“Ah! if she fell into Maddox’s hands, I wonder the less. She showed an amount of feeling about my illness that won Ailie’s heart, and we had her for a little handmaid to help my nurse. Then, when we broke up from home, we still kept her, and every one used to be struck with her looks and manner. She went on as well as possible, and Lucy set her heart on having her in the nursery. And when the upper nurse went away, she had the whole care of Rose. We heard only of her praises till, to our horror, we found she had been sent away in disgrace at a moment’s warning. Poor Lucy was young, and so much shocked as only to think of getting her out of the house, not of what was to become of her, and all we could learn was that she never went home.”
“Ah! if she ended up in Maddox’s hands, I’m not surprised. She showed so much compassion about my illness that she won Ailie’s heart, and we had her as a little helper for my nurse. Then, when we left home, we still kept her, and everyone was taken by her looks and demeanor. She managed as well as she could, and Lucy was determined to have her in the nursery. When the head nurse left, she was fully responsible for Rose. We only heard good things about her until, to our shock, we found out she had been sent away in disgrace on short notice. Poor Lucy was young and so upset that she just thought about getting her out of the house, not what would happen to her, and all we could learn was that she never went home.”
“How long was this before the crash?”
“How long ago was this before the crash?”
“It was only a few weeks before the going abroad, but they had been absent nearly a year. No doubt Maddox must have made her aid in his schemes. You say Rose saw him?”
“It was just a few weeks before going abroad, but they had been gone for almost a year. No doubt Maddox must have enlisted her help in his plans. You say Rose saw him?”
“So she declares, and there is an accuracy of memory about her that I should trust to. Should you or Alison know him?”
“So she says, and I should trust her memory on this. Do you or Alison know him?”
“No, we used to think it a bad sign that Edward never showed him to us. I remember Alison being disappointed that he was not at the factory the only time she saw it.”
“No, we used to think it was a bad sign that Edward never introduced him to us. I remember Alison being let down that he wasn't at the factory the one time she saw it.”
“I do not like going away while he may be lurking about. I could send a note to-night, explaining my absence.”
“I don’t like leaving while he might be hanging around. I could send a note tonight to explain why I'm not there.”
“No, no,” exclaimed Ermine, “that would be making me as bad as poor little Rose. If he be here ever so much he has done his worst, and Edward is out of his reach. What could he do to us? The affairs were wound up long ago, and we have literally nothing to be bullied out of. No, I don’t think he could make me believe in lions in any shape.”
“No, no,” exclaimed Ermine, “that would make me just as bad as poor little Rose. If he’s here at all, he’s already done his worst, and Edward is out of his reach. What could he do to us? The situation was settled a long time ago, and we literally have nothing he could bully us for. No, I don’t think he could convince me that there are lions in any form.”
“You strong-minded woman! You want to emulate the Rachel.”
“You strong-minded woman! You want to be like Rachel.”
“You have brought her,” laughed Ermine at the sound of the well-known knock, and Rachel entered bag in hand.
“You brought her,” laughed Ermine at the familiar knock, and Rachel walked in with her bag in hand.
“I was in hopes of meeting you,” she said to the Colonel. “I wanted to ask you to take charge of some of these;” and she produced a packet of prospectuses of a “Journal of Female Industry,” an illustrated monthly magazine, destined to contain essays, correspondence, reviews, history, tales, etc., to be printed and illustrated in the F. U. E. E.
“I was hoping to meet you,” she said to the Colonel. “I wanted to ask you to take charge of some of these;” and she pulled out a packet of prospectuses for a “Journal of Female Industry,” an illustrated monthly magazine, meant to include essays, correspondence, reviews, history, stories, etc., to be printed and illustrated in the F. U. E. E.
“I hoped,” said Rachel, “to have begun with the year, but we are not forward enough, and indeed some of the expenses require a subscription in advance. A subscriber in advance will have the year’s numbers for ten shillings, instead of twelve; and I should be much obliged if you would distribute a few of these at Bath, and ask Bessie to do the same. I shall set her name down at the head of the list, as soon as she has qualified it for a decoy.”
“I hoped,” said Rachel, “to start with the year, but we are not quite ready, and actually some of the expenses need an upfront subscription. A subscriber who pays in advance will get the year's issues for ten shillings instead of twelve; and I would really appreciate it if you could hand out a few of these in Bath, and ask Bessie to do the same. I’ll put her name at the top of the list as soon as she qualifies it as a lure.”
“Are these printed at the F. U. E. E.?”
“Are these printed at the F. U. E. E.?”
“No, we have not funds as yet. Mr. Mauleverer had them done at Bristol, where he has a large connexion as a lecturer, and expects to get many subscribers. I brought these down as soon as he had left them with me, in hopes that you would kindly distribute them at the wedding. And I wished,” added she to Ermine, “to ask you to contribute to our first number.”
“No, we don’t have any funds yet. Mr. Mauleverer had them printed in Bristol, where he has a large network as a lecturer and hopes to get a lot of subscribers. I brought these down as soon as he left them with me, hoping that you would kindly distribute them at the wedding. And I wanted,” she added to Ermine, “to ask you to contribute to our first issue.”
“Thank you,” and the doubtful tone induced Rachel to encourage her diffidence.
“Thank you,” and the uncertain tone prompted Rachel to support her shyness.
“I know you write a great deal, and I am sure you must produce something worthy to see the light. I have no scruple in making the request, as I know Colonel Keith agrees with me that womanhood need not be an extinguisher for talent.”
“I know you write a lot, and I’m sure you must create something that deserves to be seen. I have no hesitation in asking, since I know Colonel Keith agrees with me that being a woman shouldn't limit talent.”
“I am not afraid of him,” Ermine managed to say without more smile than Rachel took for gratification.
“I’m not afraid of him,” Ermine managed to say with less of a smile than Rachel expected.
“Then if you would only entrust me with some of your fugitive reflections, I have no doubt that something might be made of them. A practised hand,” she added with a certain editorial dignity, “can always polish away any little roughnesses from inexperience.”
“Then if you would just share some of your fleeting thoughts with me, I’m sure we could turn them into something worthwhile. A skilled touch,” she added with a hint of authority, “can always smooth out any little imperfections from lack of experience.”
Ermine was choking with laughter at the savage pulls that Colin was inflicting on his moustache, and feeling silence no longer honest, she answered in an odd under tone, “I can’t plead inexperience.”
Ermine was laughing so hard at the rough tugs Colin was giving his mustache that she felt the silence was no longer genuine. So, in a strange, quiet voice, she replied, “I can’t claim to be inexperienced.”
“No!” cried Rachel. “You have written; you have not published!”
“No!” cried Rachel. “You’ve written it, but you haven’t published it!”
“I was forced to do whatever brought grist to the mill,” said Ermine. “Indeed,” she added, with a look as if to ask pardon; “our secrets have been hardly fair towards you, but we made it a rule not to spoil our breadwinner’s trade by confessing my enormities.”
“I had to do whatever brought in money,” said Ermine. “You're right,” she continued, looking like she wanted to apologize; “our secrets haven’t been fair to you, but we decided not to ruin our breadwinner’s business by admitting my wrongdoings.”
“I assure you,” said the Colonel, touched by Rachel’s appalled look, “I don’t know how long this cautious person would have kept me in the dark if she had not betrayed herself in the paper we discussed the first day I met you.”
“I promise you,” said the Colonel, moved by Rachel’s shocked expression, “I have no idea how long this careful person would have kept me clueless if she hadn’t given herself away in the article we talked about on the first day I met you.”
“The ‘Traveller,’” said Rachel, her eyes widening like those of a child. “She is the ‘Invalid’!”
“The ‘Traveller,’” Rachel said, her eyes widening like a child's. “She is the ‘Invalid’!”
“There, I am glad to have made a clean breast of it,” said Ermine.
“There, I’m glad I got it all off my chest,” said Ermine.
“The ‘Invalid’!” repeated Rachel. “It is as bad as the Victoria Cross.”
“The ‘Invalid’!” Rachel said again. “It’s just as bad as the Victoria Cross.”
“There is a compliment, Ermine, for which you should make your bow,” said Colin.
“There’s a compliment, Ermine, that you should acknowledge,” said Colin.
“Oh, I did not mean that,” said Rachel; “but that it was as great a mistake as I made about Captain Keith, when I told him his own story, and denied his being the hero, till I actually saw his cross,” and she spoke with a genuine simplicity that almost looked like humour, ending with, “I wonder why I am fated to make such mistakes!”
“Oh, I didn’t mean that,” said Rachel; “but it was just as big a mistake as the one I made with Captain Keith when I told him his own story and refused to believe he was the hero until I actually saw his cross,” and she spoke with a genuine simplicity that almost seemed humorous, finishing with, “I wonder why I'm destined to make such mistakes!”
“Preconceived notions,” said Ermine, smiling; “your theory suffices you, and you don’t see small indications.”
“Preconceived ideas,” Ermine said with a smile, “your theory works for you, but you’re missing the little signs.”
“There may be something in that,” said Rachel, thoughtfully, “it accounts for Grace always seeing things faster than I did.”
“There might be something to that,” Rachel said thoughtfully, “it explains why Grace always notices things faster than I do.”
“Did Mr.—, your philanthropist, bring you this today?” said the Colonel, taking up the paper again, as if to point a practical moral to her confession of misjudgments.
“Did Mr.—, your philanthropist, bring you this today?” the Colonel asked, picking up the paper again as if to emphasize a practical lesson from her admission of mistakes.
“Mr. Mauleverer? Yes; I came down as soon as he had left me, only calling first upon Fanny. I am very anxious for contributions. If you would only give me a paper signed by the ‘Invalid,’ it would be a fortune to the institution.”
“Mr. Mauleverer? Yes; I came down as soon as he left me, but I first stopped by to see Fanny. I’m really eager for contributions. If you could just give me a paper signed by the ‘Invalid,’ it would be a huge help to the institution.”
Ermine made a vague answer that she doubted whether the ‘Invalid’ was separable from the ‘Traveller,’ and Rachel presently departed with her prospectus, but without having elicited a promise.
Ermine gave a vague answer, saying she wasn't sure if the 'Invalid' could be separated from the 'Traveller,' and Rachel soon left with her prospectus, but without getting a promise.
“Intolerable!” exclaimed the Colonel. “She was improving under Bessie’s influence, but she has broken out worse than ever. ‘Journal of Female Industry!’ ‘Journal of a Knight of Industry,’ might be a better title. You will have nothing to do with it, Ermine?”
“Unbearable!” the Colonel shouted. “She was making progress with Bessie’s help, but she has gone off the deep end worse than ever. ‘Journal of Female Industry!’ ‘Journal of a Knight of Industry’ would be a more fitting title. You’re not going to be involved with it, are you, Ermine?”
“Certainly not as the ‘Invalid,’ but I owe her something for having let her run into this scrape before you.”
“Definitely not as the ‘Invalid,’ but I owe her something for letting her get into this mess before you.”
“As if you could have hindered her! Come, don’t waste time and brains on a companion for Curatocult.”
“As if you could have stopped her! Come on, don’t waste time and energy looking for a partner for Curatocult.”
“You make me so idle and frivolous that I shall be expelled from the ‘Traveller,’ and obliged to take refuge in the ‘Female Industry Journal.’ Shall you distribute the prospectuses?”
“You make me so lazy and shallow that I’ll be kicked out of the ‘Traveller’ and forced to find a place in the ‘Female Industry Journal.’ Are you going to hand out the brochures?”
“I shall give one to Bessie! That is if I go at all.”
“I'll give one to Bessie! That is, if I even go.”
“No, no, there is no valid reason for staying away. Even if we were sure that Rose was right, nothing could well come of it, and your absence would be most invidious.”
“No, no, there’s no good reason to stay away. Even if we were certain that Rose was correct, nothing positive would come from it, and your absence would be quite noticeable.”
“I believe I am wanted to keep Master Alick in order, but if you have the least feeling that you would be more at ease with me at home—”
“I think I'm needed to keep Master Alick in check, but if you feel like you'd be more comfortable with me at home—”
“That is not a fair question,” said Ermine, smiling. “You know very well that you ought to go.”
“That’s not a fair question,” Ermine said with a smile. “You know you should go.”
“And I shall try to bring back Harry Beauchamp,” added the Colonel. “He would be able to identify the fellow.”
“And I’ll try to bring back Harry Beauchamp,” the Colonel added. “He’ll be able to identify the guy.”
“I do not know what would be gained by that.”
“I don’t know what would be gained by that.”
“I should know whom to watch.”
“I should know who to keep an eye on.”
Ermine had seen so much of Rose’s nervous timidity, and had known so many phantoms raised by it, that she attached little importance to the recognition, and when she went over the matter with her little niece, it was with far more thought of the effect of the terror, and of the long suppressed secret, upon the child’s moral and physical nature, than with any curiosity as to the subject of her last alarm. She was surprised to observe that Alison was evidently in a state of much more restlessness and suspense than she was conscious of in herself, during Colin’s absence, and attributed this to her sister’s fear of Maddox’s making some inroad upon her in her long solitary hours, in which case she tried to reassure her by promises to send at once for Mr. Mitchell or for Coombe.
Ermine had seen so much of Rose’s nervousness and had encountered so many fears because of it that she didn’t think much of the recognition. When she discussed it with her little niece, she was more worried about how the fear and the long-held secret would affect the child’s moral and physical well-being than about the details of what had scared her. She was surprised to see that Alison was clearly more restless and anxious than Ermine felt herself during Colin’s absence. She thought this might be due to her sister’s worry that Maddox might take advantage of her during her long, lonely hours. To soothe her, she promised to call Mr. Mitchell or Coombe right away if needed.
Alison let these assurances be given to her, and felt hypocritical for receiving them in silence. Her grave set features had tutored themselves to conceal for ever one page in the life that Ermine thought was entirely revealed to her. Never had Ermine known that brotherly companionship had once suddenly assumed the unwelcome aspect of an affection against which Alison’s heart had been steeled by devotion to the sister whose life she had blighted. Her resolution had been unswerving, but its full cost had been unknown to her, till her adherence to it had slackened the old tie of hereditary friendship towards others of her family; and even when marriage should have obliterated the past, she still traced resentment in the hard judgment of her brother’s conduct, and even in the one act of consideration that it galled her to accept.
Alison accepted these reassurances but felt hypocritical for keeping quiet about it. Her serious expression had trained itself to hide a part of her life that Ermine thought was completely exposed. Ermine had never realized that brotherly affection had once unexpectedly turned into something Alison's heart had guarded against, all because of her loyalty to the sister whose life she had impacted negatively. Her determination had been unwavering, but she hadn’t fully understood the cost until her commitment began to weaken the old bonds of friendship with her family; and even when marriage should have erased the past, she still felt resentment in her brother’s harsh judgments and even in the single act of kindness that she found difficult to accept.
There had been no meeting since the one decisive interview just before she had left her original home, and there were many more bitter feelings than could be easily assuaged in looking forward to a renewal of intercourse, when all too late, she knew that she should soon be no longer needed by her sister. She tried to feel it all just retribution, she tried to rejoice in Ermine’s coming happiness; she tried to believe that the sight of Harry Beauchamp, as a married man, would be the best cure for her; she blamed and struggled with herself: and after all, her distress was wasted, Harry Beauchamp had not chosen to come home with his cousin, who took his unwillingness to miss a hunting-day rather angrily and scornfully. Alison put her private interpretation on the refusal, and held aloof, while Colin owned to Ermine his vexation and surprise at the displeasure that Harry Beauchamp maintained against his old schoolfellow, and his absolute refusal to listen to any arguments as to his innocence.
There hadn't been any meetings since that one important conversation right before she left her original home, and there were a lot of unresolved feelings that couldn't easily be smoothed over as she looked forward to reconnecting, knowing all too well that she would soon no longer be needed by her sister. She tried to see it all as just punishment, to be happy for Ermine's upcoming joy; she tried to convince herself that seeing Harry Beauchamp as a married man would be the best healing for her; she criticized and battled with herself: but in the end, her distress was pointless. Harry Beauchamp had decided not to come home with his cousin, who was rather upset and scornful about his unwillingness to miss a hunting day. Alison interpreted his refusal in her own way and kept her distance, while Colin expressed to Ermine his frustration and surprise at the resentment Harry Beauchamp held against his old schoolmate, along with his outright refusal to consider any arguments about his innocence.
This seemed to have been Colin’s prominent interest in his expedition to Bath; the particulars of the wedding were less easily drawn from him. The bride had indeed been perfection, all was charming wherever she brought her ready grace and sweetness, and she had gratified the Colonel by her affectionate messages to Ermine, and her evident intention to make all straight between Lord Keith and his daughter Mary. But the Clare relations had not made a favourable impression; the favourite blind uncle had not been present, in spite of Bessie’s boast, and it was suspected that Alick had not chosen to forward his coming. Alick had devolved the office of giving his sister away upon the Colonel, as her guardian, and had altogether comported himself with more than his usual lazy irony, especially towards the Clare cousinhood, who constantly buzzed round him, and received his rebuffs as delightful jests and compliments, making the Colonel wonder all the more at the perfect good taste and good breeding of his new sister-in-law, who had spent among them all the most critical years of her life.
This seemed to be Colin’s main focus during his trip to Bath; he was less willing to share details about the wedding. The bride was truly perfect—everything was delightful whenever she showcased her natural grace and kindness. She had pleased the Colonel with her warm messages to Ermine and her clear intention to mend things between Lord Keith and his daughter Mary. However, the Clare relatives hadn’t left a great impression; the beloved blind uncle hadn’t attended, despite Bessie’s claims, and it was believed that Alick had chosen not to facilitate his arrival. Alick had assigned the Colonel, as her guardian, the responsibility of giving his sister away and had generally acted with more than his usual lazy sarcasm, especially towards the Clare cousins, who buzzed around him and took his dismissals as charming jokes and compliments. This made the Colonel admire even more the excellent taste and upbringing of his new sister-in-law, who had spent the most pivotal years of her life among them.
She had been much amused with the prospectus of the “Journal of Female Industry,” but she sent word to Rachel that she advised her not to publish any list of subscribers—the vague was far more impressive than the certain. The first number must be sent to her at Paris, and trust her for spreading its fame!
She found the prospectus for the “Journal of Female Industry” quite entertaining, but she told Rachel not to publish any list of subscribers—the vague sounded much more impressive than the definite. The first issue should be sent to her in Paris, and she would handle spreading its fame!
The Colonel did not add to his message her recommendation that the frontispiece should represent the Spinster’s Needles, with the rescue of Don as the type of female heroism. Nor did he tell how carefully he had questioned both her and Rachel as to the date of that interesting adventure.
The Colonel didn’t include in his message her suggestion that the front cover should depict the Spinster’s Needles, showcasing the rescue of Don as the example of female heroism. He also didn’t mention how thoroughly he had questioned both her and Rachel about the date of that intriguing adventure.
CHAPTER XVII. THE SIEGE.
“The counterfeit presentment.”—Hamlet.
"The fake appearance." —Hamlet.
Christmas came, and Rachel agreed with Mr. Mauleverer that it was better not to unsettle the children at the F. U. E. E. by permitting them to come home for holidays, a decision which produced much discontent in their respective families. Alison, going to Mrs. Morris with her pupils, to take her a share of Christmas good cheer, was made the receptacle of a great lamentation over the child’s absence; and, moreover, that the mother had not been allowed to see her alone, when taken by Miss Rachel to the F. U. E. E.
Christmas arrived, and Rachel agreed with Mr. Mauleverer that it was better not to disturb the children at the F. U. E. E. by letting them go home for the holidays, a choice that caused a lot of unhappiness in their families. Alison, visiting Mrs. Morris with her students to bring a bit of Christmas cheer, became the target of a significant outpouring of grief over the child's absence; furthermore, the mother had not been allowed to see her alone when Miss Rachel took her to the F. U. E. E.
“Some one ought to take it up,” said Alison, as she came home, in her indignation. “Who knows what may be done to those poor children? Can’t Mr. Mitchell do something?”
“Someone should do something about it,” said Alison, as she came home, feeling indignant. “Who knows what could happen to those poor kids? Can’t Mr. Mitchell help out?”
But Mr. Mitchell was not sufficiently at home to interfere. He was indeed negotiating an exchange with Mr. Touchett, but until this was effected he could hardly meddle in the matter, and he was besides a reserved, prudent man, slow to commit himself, so that his own impression of the asylum could not be extracted from him. Here, however, Colonel Keith put himself forward. He had often been asked by Rachel to visit the F. U. E. E., and he surprised and relieved Alison by announcing his intention of going over to St. Norbert’s alone and without notice, so as to satisfy himself as far as might be as to the treatment of the inmates, and the genuineness of Mauleverer’s pretensions. He had, however, to wait for weather that would not make the adventure one of danger to him, and he regarded the cold and rain with unusual impatience, until, near the end of January, he was able to undertake his expedition.
But Mr. Mitchell wasn't really in a position to interfere. He was in fact working on a deal with Mr. Touchett, but until that was finalized, he couldn't get involved in the situation, and he was also a reserved, cautious guy, slow to take a stand, so no one could really get his opinion on the asylum. However, Colonel Keith stepped up. Rachel had often asked him to check out the F. U. E. E., and he surprised and relieved Alison by saying he planned to go to St. Norbert’s alone and without any warning, to see for himself how the inmates were treated and whether Mauleverer was genuine. He did have to wait for suitable weather that wouldn’t make the trip dangerous for him, and he watched the cold and rain with unusual impatience, until, near the end of January, he was finally able to go on his trip.
After much knocking and ringing the door was opened to him by a rude, slatternly, half-witted looking charwoman, or rather girl, who said “Master was not in,” and nearly shut the door in his face. However, he succeeded in sending in his card, backed by the mention of Lady Temple and Miss Curtis; and this brought out Mrs. Rawlins, her white streamers floating stiff behind her, full of curtsies and regrets at having to refuse any friend of Miss Curtis, but Mr. Mauleverer’s orders were precise and could not be infringed. He was gone to lecture at Bristol, but if the gentleman would call at any hour he would fix to morrow or next day, Mr. Mauleverer would be proud to wait on him.
After a lot of knocking and ringing, a rude, messy-looking girl who seemed a bit clueless finally opened the door and said, “The master isn’t home,” while nearly slamming the door in his face. However, he managed to send in his card, mentioning Lady Temple and Miss Curtis, which got Mrs. Rawlins to come out, her white ribbons trailing stiffly behind her. She was full of curtsies and apologies for having to turn away any friend of Miss Curtis, but Mr. Mauleverer’s instructions were clear and could not be ignored. He was off to give a lecture in Bristol, but if the gentleman wanted to drop by at any time, he could schedule a meeting for tomorrow or the next day. Mr. Mauleverer would be happy to meet him.
When he came at the appointed time, all was in the normal state of the institution. The two little girls in white pinafores sat upon their bench with their books before them, and their matron presiding over them; Mr. Mauleverer stood near, benignantly attentive to the children and obligingly so to the visitor, volunteering information and answering all questions. Colonel Keith tried to talk to the children, but when he asked one of them whether she liked drawing better than lace-making her lips quivered, and Mrs. Rawlins replied for her, that she was never happy except with a pencil in her hand. “Show the gentleman, my dear,” and out came a book of studios of cubes, globes, posts, etc., while Mr. Mauleverer talked artistically of drawing from models. Next, he observed on a certain suspicious blackness of little Mary’s eye, and asked her what she had done to herself. But the child hung her head, and Mrs. Rawlins answered for her, “Ah! Mary is ashamed to tell: but the gentleman will think nothing of it, my dear. He knows that children will be children, and I cannot bear to check them, the dears.”
When he arrived at the scheduled time, everything was just as it normally was at the institution. The two little girls in white dresses sat on their bench with their books in front of them, while their caretaker looked after them; Mr. Mauleverer stood nearby, kindly paying attention to the children and being helpful to the visitor, offering information and answering all questions. Colonel Keith tried to chat with the children, but when he asked one of them if she preferred drawing over lace-making, her lips trembled, and Mrs. Rawlins answered for her, saying that she was never happy unless she had a pencil in her hand. “Show the gentleman, dear,” and out came a book filled with drawings of cubes, spheres, posts, and more, while Mr. Mauleverer spoke artistically about drawing from models. Then, he noticed a suspicious dark mark around little Mary’s eye and asked what she had done to herself. But the child lowered her head, and Mrs. Rawlins replied for her, “Ah! Mary is too shy to say: but the gentleman won’t think anything of it, my dear. He understands that children will be children, and I can’t stand to curtail their spirit, the dears.”
More briefly Mr. Mauleverer explained that Mary had fallen while playing on the stairs; and with this superficial inspection he must needs content himself, though on making inquiry at the principal shops, he convinced himself that neither Mr. Mauleverer nor the F. U. E. E. were as well known at St. Norbert’s as at Avonmouth. He told Rachel of his expedition, and his interest in her work gratified her, though she would have preferred being his cicerone. She assured him that he must have been very much pleased, especially with the matron.
More briefly, Mr. Mauleverer explained that Mary had fallen while playing on the stairs; and with this quick check, he had to be satisfied, even though when he asked around at the main shops, he realized that neither Mr. Mauleverer nor the F. U. E. E. were as well-known in St. Norbert’s as they were in Avonmouth. He told Rachel about his trip, and she was pleased by his interest in her work, although she would have preferred to show him around. She assured him that he must have been very happy, especially with the matron.
“She is a handsome woman, and reminds me strongly of a face I saw in India.”
“She is a beautiful woman, and she strongly reminds me of a face I saw in India.”
“There are some classes of beauty and character that have a remarkable sameness of feature,” began Rachel.
“There are some types of beauty and personality that have a striking similarity in appearance,” Rachel began.
“Don’t push that theory, for your matron’s likeness was a very handsome Sepoy havildar whom we took at Lucknow, a capital soldier before the mutiny, and then an ineffable ruffian.”
“Don’t promote that idea, because your matron looked a lot like a very good-looking Sepoy havildar we captured at Lucknow, a great soldier before the mutiny, and then an indescribable thug.”
“The mutiny was an infectious frenzy; so that you establish nothing against that cast of countenance.”
“The mutiny was a contagious frenzy, making it impossible to hold anything against that expression.”
Never, indeed, was there more occasion for perseverance in Rachel’s championship. Hitherto Mrs. Kelland had been nailed to her pillow by the exigencies of Lady Keith’s outfit, and she and her minions had toiled unremittingly, without a thought beyond their bobbins, but as soon as the postponed orders were in train, and the cash for the wedding veil and flounces had been transmitted, the good woman treated herself and her daughters to a holiday at St. Norbert’s, without intimating her intention to her patronesses; and the consequence was a formal complaint of her ungrateful and violent language to Mrs. Rawlins on being refused admission to the asylum without authority from Mr. Mauleverer or Miss Curtis.
Never before was there a greater need for Rachel to stay strong in her support. Up until now, Mrs. Kelland had been stuck at her sewing table, focused solely on Lady Keith’s wardrobe, working tirelessly without a thought beyond her tasks. However, once the delayed orders got going and the money for the wedding veil and embellishments was sent, the woman decided to treat herself and her daughters to a vacation at St. Norbert’s, without telling her clients. As a result, there was a formal complaint about her ungrateful and aggressive behavior to Mrs. Rawlins when she was denied entry to the asylum without permission from Mr. Mauleverer or Miss Curtis.
Rachel, much displeased, went down charged with reproof and representation, but failed to produce the desired effect upon the aunt.
Rachel, quite upset, went down ready to express her criticism and concerns, but didn't manage to have the impact she wanted on her aunt.
“It was not right,” Mrs. Kelland reiterated, “that the poor lone orphan should not see her that was as good as a mother, when she had no one else to look to. They that kept her from her didn’t do it for no good end.”
“It wasn’t right,” Mrs. Kelland insisted, “that the poor lonely orphan couldn't see the woman who was like a mother to her, especially when she had no one else to turn to. Those who kept her away from her didn’t do it for any good reason.”
“But, Mrs. Kelland, rules are rules.”
“But, Mrs. Kelland, rules are rules.”
“Don’t tell me of no rules, Miss Rachel, as would cut a poor child off from her friends as her mother gave her to on her death-bed. ‘Sally,’ says she, ‘I know you will do a mother’s part by that poor little maid;’ and so I did till I was over persuaded to let her go to that there place.”
“Don’t tell me about any rules, Miss Rachel, that would separate a poor child from the friends her mother entrusted her to on her deathbed. ‘Sally,’ she says, ‘I know you will take care of that poor little girl like a mother would;’ and I did until I was convinced to let her go to that place.”
“Indeed you have nothing to regret there, Mrs. Kelland; you know, that with the kindest intentions, you could not make the child happy.”
“Honestly, you have nothing to regret there, Mrs. Kelland; you know that, even with the best intentions, you couldn’t make the child happy.”
“And why was that, ma’am, but because her mother was a poor creature from town, that had never broke her to her work. I never had the trouble with a girl of my own I had with her. ‘It’s all for your good, Lovedy,’ I says to her, and poor child, maybe she wishes herself back again.”
“And why was that, ma’am? Because her mother was a poor woman from town who never trained her for her responsibilities. I never had as much trouble with my own daughter as I did with her. ‘It’s all for your own good, Lovedy,’ I told her, and the poor child probably wishes she could go back to how things were.”
“I assure you, I always find the children well and happy, and it is very unfair on the matron to be angry with her for being bound by rules, to which she must submit, or she would transgress the regulations under which we have laid her! It is not her choice to exclude you, but her duty.”
“I promise you, I always see the children doing well and happy, and it's really unfair to blame the matron for following the rules she has to stick to; otherwise, she would break the regulations we've set for her! It's not her choice to keep you out, but it's her responsibility.”
“Please, ma’am, was it her duty to be coming out of the house in a ‘genta coloured silk dress, and a drab bonnet with a pink feather in it?” said Mrs. Kelland, with a certain, air of simplicity, that provoked Rachel to answer sharply—
“Please, ma’am, was it her responsibility to come out of the house in a ‘genta colored silk dress and a dull bonnet with a pink feather in it?” said Mrs. Kelland, with a certain air of naivety that made Rachel respond sharply—
“You don’t know what you are talking about, Mrs. Kelland.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Mrs. Kelland.”
“Well, ma’am, it was a very decent woman as told me, an old lady of the name of Drinkwater, as keeps a baker’s shop on the other side of the way, and she never sees bread enough go in for a cat to make use of, let alone three poor hungry children. She says all is not right there, ma’am.”
“Well, ma’am, it was a very respectable woman who told me, an old lady named Drinkwater, who runs a bakery across the street, and she never sees enough bread come in for a cat to have, much less for three poor hungry children. She says something's not right over there, ma’am.”
“Oh, that must be mere gossip and spite at not having the custom. It quite accounts for what she may say, and indeed you brought it all on yourself by not having asked me for a note. You must restrain yourself. What you may say to me is of no importance, but you must not go and attack those who are doing the very best for your niece.”
“Oh, that’s probably just gossip and bitterness over not having the custom. That explains what she might say, and honestly, you brought this on yourself by not asking me for a note. You need to hold back. What you say to me doesn’t matter, but you shouldn’t go after those who are doing their best for your niece.”
Rachel made a dignified exit, but before she had gone many steps, she was assailed by tearful Mrs. Morris: “Oh, Miss Rachel, if it would not be displeasing to you, would you give me an order for my child to come home. Ours is a poor place, but I would rather make any shift for us to live than that she should be sent away to some place beyond sea.”
Rachel left gracefully, but before she had taken too many steps, she was approached by an upset Mrs. Morris: “Oh, Miss Rachel, if it wouldn't bother you, could you give me an order to fetch my child home? We don't have much, but I'd rather struggle to make ends meet than have her sent away to some place overseas.”
“Some place beyond sea!”
"Some place beyond the sea!"
“Yes, ma’am. I beg your pardon, ma’am, but they do say that Mr. Maw-and-liver is a kidnapper, ma’am, and that he gets them poor children to send out to Botany Bay to be wives to the convicts as are transported, Miss Rachel, if you’ll excuse it. They say there’s a whole shipload of them at Plymouth, and I’d rather my poor Mary came to the Union at home than to the like of that, Miss Rachel.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry to bother you, ma’am, but people are saying that Mr. Maw-and-liver is a kidnapper, ma’am, and that he gets those poor kids to send them off to Botany Bay to be wives for the convicts who are being transported, Miss Rachel, if you’ll forgive my mentioning it. They say there’s a whole shipload of them in Plymouth, and I’d prefer my poor Mary to come to the Union here at home rather than end up in a situation like that, Miss Rachel.”
This alarm, being less reasonable, was even more difficult to talk down than Mrs. Kelland’s, and Rachel felt as if there wore a general conspiracy to drive her distracted, when on going home she found the drawing-room occupied by a pair of plump, paddy-looking old friends, who had evidently talked her mother into a state of nervous alarm. On her entrance, Mrs. Curtis begged the gentleman to tell dear Rachel what he had been saying, but this he contrived to avoid, and only on his departure was Rachel made aware that he and his wife had come, fraught with tidings that she was fostering a Jesuit in disguise, that Mrs. Rawlins was a lady abbess of a new order, Rachel herself in danger of being entrapped, and the whole family likely to be entangled in the mysterious meshes, which, as good Mrs. Curtis more than once repeated, would be “such a dreadful thing for poor Fanny and the boys.”
This alarm, being less reasonable, was even harder to calm down than Mrs. Kelland’s, and Rachel felt like there was a conspiracy to drive her crazy when she got home and found the drawing room taken over by a couple of plump, paddy-looking old friends, who had obviously talked her mother into a state of nervous worry. When she walked in, Mrs. Curtis urged the gentleman to tell dear Rachel what he’d been saying, but he managed to dodge that. It was only after he left that Rachel learned he and his wife had come with news that she was hiding a Jesuit in disguise, that Mrs. Rawlins was a lady abbess of a new order, that Rachel herself was in danger of being trapped, and that the whole family was likely to get caught up in the mysterious web, which, as good Mrs. Curtis said more than once, would be “such a dreadful thing for poor Fanny and the boys.”
Her daughters, by soothing and argument, allayed the alarm, though the impression was not easily done away with, and they feared that it might yet cost her a night’s rest. These attacks—absurd as they were—induced Rachel to take measures for their confutation, by writing to Mr. Mauleverer, that she thought it would be well to allow the pupils to pay a short visit to their homes, so as to satisfy their friends.
Her daughters, through calming words and discussion, eased the worry, but the lingering impression was hard to shake off, and they were concerned it might still cost her a night’s sleep. These incidents—ridiculous as they were—motivated Rachel to take action to address them by writing to Mr. Mauleverer, suggesting that it might be a good idea to allow the students to take a brief visit home to reassure their families.
She did not receive an immediate answer, and was beginning to feel vexed and anxious, though not doubtful, when Mr. Mauleverer arrived, bringing two beautiful little woodcuts, as illustrations for the “Journal of Female Industry.” They were entitled “The free maids that weave their thread with bones,” and one called “the Ideal,” represented a latticed cottage window, with roses, honeysuckles, cat, beehives, and all conventional rural delights, around a pretty maiden singing at her lace-pillow; while the other yclept the “Real,” showed a den of thin, wizened, half-starved girls, cramped over their cushions in a lace-school. The design was Mr. Mauleverer’s, the execution the children’s; and neatly mounted on cards, the performance did them great credit, and there was great justice in Mr. Manleverer’s view that while they were making such progress, it would be a great pity to interrupt the preparation of the first number by sending the children home even for a few hours. Rachel consented the more readily to the postponement of the holiday, as she had now something to show in evidence of the reality of their doings, and she laid hands upon the cuts, in spite of Mr. Mauleverer’s unwillingness that such mere essays should be displayed as specimens of the art of the F. U. E. E. When the twenty pounds which she advanced should have been laid out in blocks, ink, and paper, there was little doubt that the illustrations of the journal would be a triumphant instance of female energy well directed.
She didn’t get an immediate response, and was starting to feel frustrated and anxious, though not doubtful, when Mr. Mauleverer arrived, bringing two gorgeous little woodcuts to illustrate the “Journal of Female Industry.” They were titled “The free maids that weave their thread with bones,” and one called “the Ideal,” which depicted a latticed cottage window surrounded by roses, honeysuckles, a cat, beehives, and all the usual charming rural imagery, featuring a lovely girl singing at her lace-pillow; while the other titled “the Real,” showed a cramped space filled with thin, frail, half-starved girls huddled over their cushions in a lace school. The design was Mr. Mauleverer’s, and the execution was by the children; and nicely mounted on cards, their work was impressive, supporting Mr. Mauleverer’s belief that while they were making such progress, it would be a shame to interrupt the preparation of the first issue by sending the kids home even for a few hours. Rachel agreed more easily to postpone the holiday since she now had something to show as proof of their work, and she eagerly grabbed the prints, despite Mr. Mauleverer’s reluctance to have such mere efforts showcased as examples of the art of the F. U. E. E. Once the twenty pounds that she advanced were spent on blocks, ink, and paper, it was clear that the illustrations for the journal would be a shining example of well-directed female energy.
Meantime she repaired to Ermine Williams to persuade her to write an article upon the two pictures, a paper in the lively style in which Rachel herself could not excel, pointing out the selfishness of wilfully sentimental illusions. She found Ermine alone, but her usual fate pursued her in the shape of, first, Lady Temple, then both Colonel and Captain Keith, and little Rose, who all came in before she had had time to do more than explain her intentions. Rose had had another fright, and again the Colonel had been vainly trying to distinguish the bugbear of her fancy, and she was clinging all the more closely to him because he was the only person of her aquaintance who did not treat her alarms as absolutely imaginary.
In the meantime, she went to Ermine Williams to convince her to write an article about the two pictures, in a lively style that Rachel herself couldn't match, highlighting the selfishness of willfully sentimental illusions. She found Ermine alone, but her usual luck caught up with her in the form of Lady Temple, followed by both Colonel and Captain Keith, and little Rose, who all arrived before she could do more than explain her plans. Rose had another scare, and once again, the Colonel had been trying without success to identify the frightening thing from her imagination. She clung to him even more tightly because he was the only person she knew who didn't treat her fears as completely imaginary.
Rachel held her ground, well pleased to have so many spectators of this triumphant specimen of the skill of her asylum, and Lady Temple gave much admiration, declaring that no one ought to wear lace again without being sure that no one was tortured in making it, and that when she ordered her new black lace shawl of Mrs. Kelland, it should be on condition that the poor girls were not kept so very hard at work.
Rachel stood her ground, happy to have so many spectators witnessing this impressive example of skill from her asylum. Lady Temple showed a lot of admiration, saying that no one should wear lace again without making sure that no one was suffering while making it. She also insisted that when she ordered her new black lace shawl from Mrs. Kelland, it would be on the condition that the poor girls weren’t overworked.
“You will think me looking for another Sepoy likeness,” said the Colonel, “but I am sure I have met this young lady or her twin sister somewhere in my travels.”
“You might think I’m searching for another Sepoy lookalike,” said the Colonel, “but I’m convinced I’ve met this young lady or her twin sister while traveling somewhere.”
“It is a satire on conventional pictures,” said Rachel.
“It’s a satire on typical images,” Rachel said.
“Now, I remember,” he continued. “It was when I was laid up with my wound at a Dutch boer’s till I could get to Cape Town. My sole reading was one number of the ‘Illustrated News,’ and I made too good acquaintance with that lady’s head, to forget her easily.”
“Now, I remember,” he went on. “It was when I was stuck with my injury at a Dutch farmer’s until I could get to Cape Town. My only reading was one issue of the ‘Illustrated News,’ and I got way too familiar with that lady’s face to forget her easily.”
“Of course,” said Rachel, “it is a reminiscence of the painting there represented.”
“Of course,” Rachel said, “it’s a reminder of the painting that’s over there.”
“What was the date?” asked Alick Keith.
“What’s the date?” asked Alick Keith.
The Colonel was able to give it with some precision.
The Colonel was able to provide it with some accuracy.
“You are all against me,” said Rachel, “I see you are perfectly determined that there shall be something wrong about every performance of the F. U. E. E.”
“You're all against me,” said Rachel, “I can tell you're totally set on making sure there's something off with every performance of the F. U. E. E.”
“No, don’t say so,” began Fanny, with gentle argument, but Alick Keith put in with a smile, “It is a satisfaction to Miss Curtis.”
“No, don’t say that,” Fanny began softly, but Alick Keith interjected with a smile, “It makes Miss Curtis happy.”
“Athanasius against the world,” she answered.
“Athanasius against the world,” she replied.
“Athanasius should take care that his own foot is firm, his position incontrovertible,” said Ermine.
“Athanasius should make sure his own footing is solid and his stance is unmovable,” said Ermine.
“Well!”
“Well!”
“Then,” said Ermine, “will you allow these little pictures to be examined into?”
“Then,” said Ermine, “will you let these little pictures be looked at?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”
“Look here,” and the Colonel lifted on the table a scrap-book that Rose had been quietly opening on his knee, and which contained an etching of a child playing with a dog, much resembling the style of the drawing.
“Look here,” the Colonel said as he picked up a scrapbook from the table that Rose had been quietly opening on his lap. It had an etching of a child playing with a dog, resembling the style of the drawing.
“Who did that, my dear?” he asked.
“Who did that, my dear?” he asked.
“Mamma had it,” was Rose’s reply; “it was always in my old nursery scrap-hook.”
“Mom had it,” was Rose’s reply; “it was always in my old nursery scrap-hook.”
“Every one knows,” said Rachel, “that a woodcut is often like an etching, and an etching like a woodcut. I do not know what you are driving at.”
“Everyone knows,” said Rachel, “that a woodcut often resembles an etching, and an etching can look like a woodcut. I don’t know what you’re getting at.”
“The little dogs and all,” muttered Alick, as Rachel glanced rather indignantly at Rose and her book so attentively examined by the Colonel.
“The little dogs and all,” muttered Alick, as Rachel looked quite indignantly at Rose and her book that the Colonel was examining so closely.
“I know,” repeated Rachel, “that there is a strong prejudice against Mr. Mauleverer, and that it is entertained by many whom I should have hoped to see above such weakness but when I brought these tangible productions of his system, as evidence of his success, I did not expect to see them received with a covert distrust, which I own I do not understand. I perceive now why good works find so much difficulty in prospering.”
“I know,” Rachel repeated, “that there’s a strong bias against Mr. Mauleverer, and that it comes from many people I thought would be above such pettiness. But when I presented these concrete examples of his work as proof of his success, I didn't expect them to be met with such hidden skepticism, which I honestly don’t get. I can see now why good efforts struggle to thrive.”
“I believe,” said Alick Keith, “that I am to have the honour of dining at the Homestead on Monday?”
“I believe,” said Alick Keith, “that I have the honor of dining at the Homestead on Monday?”
“Yes. The Greys spend the day with us, and it is Emily’s due to have a good sight of you.”
“Yes. The Greys spend the day with us, and it’s Emily’s turn to get a good look at you.”
“Then will you let me in the meantime take my own measures with regard to these designs. I will not hurt or injure them in any way; they shall be deposited here in Miss William’s hands, and I promise you that if I have been able to satisfy myself as to the means of their production, Simon Skinflint shall become a subscriber to the F. U. E. E. Is it a bargain?”
“Then will you let me take my own steps regarding these designs in the meantime? I won’t harm or damage them in any way; they will be placed in Miss William’s care, and I promise you that if I can figure out how they were produced, Simon Skinflint will subscribe to the F. U. E. E. So, is it a deal?”
“I never made such a bargain,” said Rachel, puzzled.
“I never made such a deal,” said Rachel, confused.
“Is that a reason for not doing so?”
“Is that a reason not to do it?”
“I don’t know what you mean to do. Not to molest that poor Mrs. Rawlins. I will not have that done.”
“I don’t know what you plan to do. Don’t bother that poor Mrs. Rawlins. I won’t allow that.”
“Certainly not. All I ask of you is that these works of art should remain here with Miss Williams, as a safe neutral, and that you should meet me here on Monday, when I will undertake to convince myself.”
“Definitely not. All I ask is that these artworks stay here with Miss Williams as a safe neutral space, and that you meet me here on Monday, when I’ll make it a point to convince myself.”
“Not me?” cried Rachel.
"Not me?" Rachel exclaimed.
“Who would make it part of his terms to convince a lady?”
“Who would make it a condition to win over a lady?”
“You mean to say,” exclaimed Rachel, considerably nettled, “that as a woman, I am incapable of being rationally convinced!”
“You're saying,” Rachel exclaimed, clearly annoyed, “that as a woman, I can't be rationally convinced!”
“The proverb does not only apply to women,” said Ermine, coming to her rescue; but Rachel, stung by the arch smile and slight bow of Captain Keith, continued—“Let the proof be convincing, and I will meet it as candidly as it is the duty of all reasonable beings to do. Only let me first know what you mean to prove.”
“The saying applies not just to women,” Ermine said, coming to her aid; but Rachel, irritated by Captain Keith's sly smile and slight bow, continued—“If the evidence is convincing, I’ll face it honestly, just as every sensible person should. Just let me know what you intend to prove first.”
“The terms are these then, are they not, Miss Williams? I am to come on Monday, February the 5th, prepared to test whether these designs are what they profess to be, and Miss Curtis undertakes to be convinced by that proof, provided it be one that should carry conviction to a clear, unbiassed mind. I undertake, on the other hand, that if the said proof should be effectual, a mythical personage called Simon Skinflint shall become a supporter of the Female Union for Englishwomen’s Employment.”
“The terms are these then, right, Miss Williams? I’m to come on Monday, February 5th, ready to see if these designs are what they claim to be, and Miss Curtis agrees to be convinced by that evidence, as long as it’s something that would convince a clear, unbiased mind. On my part, I promise that if the evidence is effective, a fictional character named Simon Skinflint will become a supporter of the Female Union for Englishwomen’s Employment.”
Ho spoke with his own peculiar slowness and gravity, and Rachel, uncertain whether he were making game of her or not, looked perplexed, half on the defence, half gratified. The others were greatly amused, and a great deal surprised at Alick’s unwonted willingness to take trouble in the matter. After a few moment’s deliberation, Rachel said, “Well, I consent, provided that my candour be met by equal candour on the other side, and you will promise that if this ordeal succeeds, you will lay aside all prejudice against Mauleverer.”
Ho spoke with his own unique slowness and seriousness, and Rachel, unsure if he was joking or not, looked confused, part defensive and part pleased. The others were quite entertained and surprised by Alick’s unusual eagerness to get involved. After a moment of thinking it over, Rachel said, “Okay, I agree, as long as my honesty is met with honesty from you too, and you promise that if this process works out, you’ll stop holding any bias against Mauleverer.”
A little demur as to the reasonableness of this stipulation followed, but the terms finally were established. Mr. and Mrs. Grey, old family friends, had long been engaged to spend the ensuing Monday at the Homestead. The elder daughter, an old intimate of Grace’s, had married an Indian civil servant, whom Colonel Keith was invited to meet at luncheon, and Captain Keith at dinner, and Alick was further to sleep at Gowanbrae. Lady Temple, who was to have been of the party, was called away, much to her own regret, by an appointment with the dentist of St. Norbert’s, who was very popular, and proportionately despotic, being only visible at his own times, after long appointment. She would therefore be obliged to miss Alick’s ordeal, though as she said, when Rachel—finding it vain to try to outstay so many—had taken her leave, “I should much like to see how it will turn out. I do believe that there is some difference in the colour of the ink in the middle and at the edge, and if those people are deceiving Rachel, who knows what they may be doing to the poor children?”
A bit of hesitation about the fairness of this agreement followed, but the terms were ultimately settled. Mr. and Mrs. Grey, longtime family friends, had plans to spend the following Monday at the Homestead. The older daughter, a close friend of Grace's, had married an Indian civil servant, whom Colonel Keith was invited to meet for lunch, and Captain Keith for dinner, while Alick was also supposed to stay the night at Gowanbrae. Lady Temple, who was supposed to join the group, had to cancel, much to her disappointment, due to an appointment with the popular dentist from St. Norbert’s, who was notoriously difficult to book with, only being available at specific times after long waits. She would, therefore, have to miss Alick’s big moment, though she remarked, after Rachel—finding it pointless to stay longer with so many people—had taken her leave, “I would really like to see how this turns out. I truly believe there’s a difference in the color of the ink in the middle and at the edge, and if those people are misleading Rachel, who knows what they might be doing to the poor children?”
It was exactly what every one was thinking, but it seemed to have fresh force when it struck the milder and slower imagination, and Lady Temple, seeing that her observation told upon those around her, became more impressed with its weight.
It was exactly what everyone was thinking, but it felt more powerful when it hit the calmer and slower minds, and Lady Temple, noticing that her comments resonated with those around her, became more aware of its significance.
“It really is dreadful to have sent those little girls there without any one knowing what anybody does to them,” she repeated.
“It’s truly awful to have sent those little girls there without anyone knowing what happens to them,” she repeated.
“It makes even Alick come out in a new character,” said the Colonel, turning round on him.
“It even brings out a new side of Alick,” said the Colonel, turning to face him.
“Why,” returned Alick, “my sister had so much to do with letting the young lady in for the scrape, that it is just as well to try to get her out of it. In fact, I think we have all sat with our hands before us in a shamefully cool manner, till we are all accountable for the humbuggery.”
“Why,” Alick replied, “my sister played such a big role in getting the young lady into this mess that it makes sense to try to get her out of it. Honestly, I think we've all just sat here, doing nothing, and now we're all responsible for the nonsense.”
“When it comes to your reproaching us with coolness, Captain Keith, the matter becomes serious,” returned Colin.
“When you accuse us of being cold, Captain Keith, it’s a serious issue,” Colin replied.
“It does become serious,” was the answer; “it is hard that a person without any natural adviser should have been allowed to run headlong, by force of her own best qualities, into the hands of a sharper. I do not see how a man of any proper feeling, can stand by without doing something to prevent the predicament from becoming any worse.”
“It really does get serious,” was the reply; “it's difficult that someone without a natural advisor has been allowed to rush headfirst, driven by her own best qualities, straight into the hands of a con artist. I don't see how any man with proper feelings can just stand by without doing something to prevent the situation from getting any worse.”
“If you can,” said Colonel Keith.
“If you can,” said Colonel Keith.
“I verily believe,” said Alick, turning round upon him, “that the worse it is for her, the more you enjoy it!”
“I truly believe,” said Alick, turning to him, “that the worse things are for her, the more you enjoy it!”
“Quite true,” said Ermine in her mischievous way; “it is a true case of man’s detestation of clever women! Look here, Alick, we will not have him here at the great ordeal of the woodcuts. You and I are much more candid and unprejudiced people, and shall manage her much better.”
“Absolutely,” Ermine said playfully; “this is a classic example of how men can't stand smart women! Listen, Alick, we won't have him around during the big test of the woodcuts. You and I are much more open-minded and fair, and we’ll handle her much better.”
“I have no desire to be present,” returned the Colonel; “I have no satisfaction in seeing my friend Alick baffled. I shall see how they both appear at luncheon afterwards.”
“I don’t want to be there,” the Colonel replied; “I find no pleasure in watching my friend Alick struggle. I’ll see how they both look at lunch afterwards.”
“How will that be?” asked Fanny, anxiously.
"How will that work?" Fanny asked, worried.
“The lady will be sententious and glorious, and will recommend the F. U. E. E. more than ever, and Alick will cover the downfall of his crest by double-edged assents to all her propositions.”
“The lady will be eloquent and impressive, and will promote the F. U. E. E. more than ever, and Alick will hide the fall of his status by agreeing to all her suggestions.”
“You will not have that pleasure,” said Alick. “I only go to dinner there.”
“You won't be able to enjoy that,” Alick said. “I only go there for dinner.”
“At any rate,” said the Colonel, “supposing your test takes effect by some extraordinary chance, don’t take any further steps without letting me know.”
“At any rate,” said the Colonel, “if your test works by some incredible chance, don’t take any more steps without letting me know.”
The inference was drawn that he expected great results, but he continued to laugh at Alick’s expectations of producing any effect on the Clever Woman, and the debate of the woodcuts was adjourned to the Monday.
The conclusion was made that he anticipated excellent outcomes, but he kept laughing at Alick's hopes of having any impact on the Clever Woman, and the discussion about the woodcuts was postponed until Monday.
In good time, Rachel made her appearance in Miss Williams’s little sitting-room. “I am ready to submit to any test that Captain Keith may require to confute himself,” she said to Ermine; “and I do so the more readily that with all his mocking language, there is a genuine candour and honesty beneath that would be quite worth convincing. I believe that if once persuaded of the injustice of his suspicions he would in the reaction become a fervent supporter of Mr. Mauleverer and of the institution; and though I should prefer carrying on our work entirely through women, yet this interest would be so good a thing for him, that I should by no means reject his assistance.”
In due time, Rachel walked into Miss Williams’s small sitting room. “I’m ready to go through any test that Captain Keith might want to prove himself wrong,” she told Ermine. “I’m more than willing because, despite all his teasing words, there’s a real openness and honesty underneath that would be worth convincing. I believe that if he were convinced of the unfairness of his suspicions, he would become a passionate supporter of Mr. Mauleverer and the cause. And even though I’d prefer to conduct our work entirely through women, having him on board would be such a positive thing for him that I wouldn’t turn down his help.”
Rachel had, however, long to wait. As she said, Captain Keith was one of those inborn loiterers who, made punctual by military duty, revenge themselves by double tardiness in the common affairs of life. Impatience had nearly made her revoke her good opinion of him, and augur that, knowing himself vanquished, he had left the field to her, when at last a sound of wheels was heard, a dog-cart stopped at the door, and Captain Keith entered with an enormous blue and gold volume under his arm.
Rachel had a long wait ahead of her. As she pointed out, Captain Keith was the kind of person who naturally procrastinated but forced himself to be on time because of his military obligations, only to make up for it by being even later in everyday life. Her impatience nearly made her reconsider her good opinion of him and think that, feeling defeated, he had given up and left the way clear for her. Finally, she heard the sound of wheels, a dog-cart pulled up to the door, and Captain Keith walked in with a huge blue and gold book under his arm.
“I am sorry to be so late,” he said, “but I have only now succeeded in procuring my ally.”
“I’m sorry I’m so late,” he said, “but I just now managed to get my ally.”
“An ally?”
"Are you an ally?"
“Yes, in this book. I had to make interest at the Avoncester Library, before I could take it away with me.” As he spoke he placed the book desk-fashion on a chair, and turned it so that Ermine might see it; and she perceived that it was a bound-up volume of the “Illustrated London News.” Two marks were in it, and he silently parted the leaves at the first.
“Yes, in this book. I had to check it out at the Avoncester Library before I could take it with me.” As he spoke, he placed the book on a chair and turned it so that Ermine could see it; and she noticed that it was a bound volume of the “Illustrated London News.” Two marks were in it, and he quietly turned to the first page.
It revealed the lace-making beauty in all her rural charms.
It showcased the lace-making beauty in all her rural charm.
“I see,” said Rachel; “it is the same figure, but not the same shaped picture.”
“I get it,” Rachel said; “it's the same figure, but not the same kind of picture.”
Without another word, Alick Keith opened the pages at the lace-school; and here again the figures were identical, though the margin had been differently finished off.
Without saying anything else, Alick Keith opened the pages at the lace school; and again, the patterns were the same, although the margins had been finished differently.
“I perceive a great resemblance,” again said Rachel, “but none that is not fully explained by Mr. Mauleverer’s accurate resemblance and desire to satirize foolish sentiment.”
“I see a strong similarity,” Rachel said again, “but it’s all explained by Mr. Mauleverer’s precise mimicry and his wish to mock silly emotions.”
Alick Keith took up the woodcut. “I should say,” he observed, holding it up to the light, “that it was unusual to mount a proof engraving so elaborately on a card.”
Alick Keith picked up the woodcut. “I would say,” he remarked, holding it up to the light, “that it’s unusual to frame a proof engraving so elaborately on a card.”
“Oh, I see what your distrust is driving at; you suspect the designs of being pasted on.”
“Oh, I get what your distrust is about; you think the plans are just being copied.”
“There is such a test as water,” suggested Alick.
“There is a test called water,” suggested Alick.
“I should be ashamed to return the proof to its master, bearing traces of unjust suspicion.”
“I should feel embarrassed to return the proof to its owner, showing signs of unfair doubt.”
“If the suspicion you impute to me be unjust, the water will produce no effect at all.”
“If the suspicion you place on me is unfair, the water won’t have any effect.”
“And you engage to retract all your distrust and contempt, if you are convinced that this engraving is genuine?”
“And you agree to take back all your doubt and disdain if you’re convinced this engraving is real?”
“I do,” he answered steadily.
"I do," he replied confidently.
With irritated magnanimity Rachel dipped her finger into the vase of flowers on the table, and let a heavy drop of water fall upon the cottage scene. The centre remained unaltered, and she looked round in exultation, saying, “There, now I suppose I may wipe it off.”
With annoyed generosity, Rachel dipped her finger into the vase of flowers on the table and let a big drop of water fall onto the cottage scene. The center stayed the same, and she looked around in triumph, saying, “There, now I guess I can wipe it off.”
Neither spoke, and she applied her pocket handkerchief. What came peeling away under her pressure? It was the soft paper, and as she was passing the edge of the figure of the girl, she found a large smear following her finger. The peculiar brown of Indian ink was seen upon her handkerchief, and when she took it up a narrow hem of white had become apparent between the girl’s head and its surroundings. Neither spectator spoke, they scarcely looked at her, when she took another drop from the vase, and using it more boldly found the pasted figure curling up and rending under her hand, lines of newspaper type becoming apparent, and the dark cloud spreading around.
Neither of them said anything, and she used her pocket handkerchief. What peeled away under her touch? It was the soft paper, and as she moved past the edge of the girl’s figure, she discovered a large smear following her finger. The distinctive brown of India ink appeared on her handkerchief, and when she lifted it, a narrow white hem was revealed between the girl’s head and the background. Neither observer spoke; they barely glanced at her when she dipped again into the vase. Being more assertive this time, she found the pasted figure curling and tearing under her hand, with lines of newspaper print becoming visible, and the dark cloud spreading around.
“What does it mean?” was her first exclamation; then suddenly turning on Ermine, “Well, do you triumph?”
“What does it mean?” was her first reaction; then suddenly turning to Ermine, “So, do you feel victorious?”
“I am very, very sorry,” said Ermine.
“I’m really, really sorry,” said Ermine.
“I do not know that it is come to that yet,” said Rachel, trying to collect herself. “I may have been pressing too hard for results.” Then looking at the mangled picture again as they wisely left her to herself, “But it is a deception! A deception! Oh! he need not have done it! Or,” with a lightened look and tone of relief, “suppose he did it to see whether I should find it out?”
“I don’t know if it has come to that yet,” Rachel said, trying to calm herself. “I might have been pushing too hard for results.” Then, looking at the messed-up picture again as they wisely left her alone, “But it’s a trick! It’s a trick! Oh! He didn’t have to do that! Or,” with a lighter look and a tone of relief, “what if he did it to see if I would figure it out?”
“He is hardly on terms with you for that,” said Ermine; while Alick could not refrain from saying, “Then he would be a more insolent scoundrel than he has shown himself yet.”
“He's hardly on friendly terms with you for that,” Ermine said, while Alick couldn't help but add, “Then he'd be an even more arrogant jerk than he's already shown himself to be.”
“I know he is not quite a gentleman,” said Rachel, “and nothing else gives the instinct of the becoming. You have conquered, Captain Keith, if it be any pleasure to you to have given my trust and hope a cruel shock.”
“I know he’s not really a gentleman,” Rachel said, “and nothing else provides the feel of what’s appropriate. You’ve won, Captain Keith, if it brings you any joy to have dealt my trust and hope a harsh blow.”
“With little satisfaction to myself,” he began to say; but she continued, “A shock, a shock I say, no more; I do not know what conclusion I ought to draw. I do not expect you to believe in this person till he has cleared up the deceit. If it be only a joke in bad taste, he deserves the distrust that is the penalty for it. If you have been opening my eyes to a deception, perhaps I shall thank you for it some day. I must think it over.”
“With little satisfaction to myself,” he started to say; but she interrupted, “A shock, just a shock, that’s all; I don’t know what conclusion I should reach. I don’t expect you to believe in this person until he explains the deceit. If it’s just a badly-timed joke, he deserves the distrust that comes with it. If you’ve been helping me realize a deception, maybe I’ll thank you for it someday. I need to think this over.”
She rose, gathered her papers together, and took her leave gravely, while Alick, much to Ermine’s satisfaction, showed no elation in his victory. All he said was, “There is a great deal of dignity in the strict justice of a mind slow to condemn, or to withdraw the trust once given.”
She stood up, collected her papers, and left solemnly, while Alick, much to Ermine’s relief, didn’t show any excitement about his win. All he said was, “There’s a lot of dignity in the fairness of a mind that is slow to judge or to take back the trust once given.”
“There is,” said Ermine, much pleased with his whole part in the affair; “there has been full and real candour, not flying into the other extreme. I am afraid she has a great deal to suffer.”
“There is,” said Ermine, quite pleased with his role in everything; “there has been complete and genuine honesty, not going to the other extreme. I’m afraid she has a lot to endure.”
“It was very wrong to have stood so still when the rascal began his machinations,” repeated Alick, “Bessie absolutely helping it on! But for her, the fellow would have had no chance even of acquaintance with her.”
“It was really wrong to have just stood there when that troublemaker started his scheming,” Alick repeated. “Bessie was totally enabling it! If it weren't for her, the guy wouldn't have even had a chance to get to know her.”
“Your sister hardly deserves blame for that.”
“Your sister barely deserves any blame for that.”
“Not exactly blame; but the responsibility remains,” he replied gravely, and indeed he was altogether much graver than his wont, entirely free from irony, and evidently too sorry for Rachel, and feeling himself, through his sister, too guilty of her entanglement, to have any of that amused satisfaction that even Colin evidently felt in her discomfiture. In fact Ermine did not fully enter into Colin’s present tactics; she saw that he was more than usually excited and interested about the F. U. E. E., but he had not explained his views to her, and she could only attribute his desire, to defer the investigation, to a wish that Mr. Mitchell should have time to return from London, whither he had gone to conclude his arrangements with Mr. Touchett, leaving the duty in commission between three delicate winter visitors.
“Not quite blame; but the responsibility is still there,” he said seriously, and he was definitely much more serious than usual, completely devoid of irony, and clearly too concerned for Rachel. He felt, through his sister, too guilty about her situation to have any of the amused satisfaction that even Colin seemed to experience in her discomfort. In fact, Ermine didn’t fully understand Colin’s current tactics; she noticed that he was unusually excited and engaged about the F. U. E. E., but he hadn’t shared his thoughts with her. She could only assume his desire to postpone the investigation was so Mr. Mitchell would have time to come back from London, where he had gone to finish his arrangements with Mr. Touchett, leaving the task in the hands of three delicate winter guests.
Rachel walked home in a kind of dreamy bewilderment. The first stone in her castle had been loosened, and her heart was beginning to fail her, though the tenacity of her will produced a certain incapacity of believing that she had been absolutely deceived. Her whole fabric was so compact, and had been so much solidified by her own intensity of purpose, that any hollowness of foundation was utterly beyond present credence. She was ready to be affronted with Mauleverer for perilling all for a bad joke, but wildly impossible as this explanation would have seemed to others, she preferred taking refuge in it to accepting the full brunt of the blow upon her cherished hopes.
Rachel walked home feeling a bit dazed. The first stone in her castle had come loose, and her heart was starting to let her down, but her strong will made it hard for her to fully accept that she had been completely fooled. Her entire being was so tightly woven together, and had been so solidified by her intense determination, that any cracks in her foundation were just too hard to believe at that moment. She was ready to confront Mauleverer for risking everything for a stupid joke, but as outrageous as that explanation would seem to others, she preferred to lean on it rather than face the full impact of the blow to her hopes.
She had just re-entered the house on her return, when Grace met her, saying, “Oh, Rachel dear, Mrs. Rossitur is here.”
She had just come back into the house when Grace approached her, saying, “Oh, Rachel dear, Mrs. Rossitur is here.”
“I think old servants have a peculiar propensity for turning up when the house is in a state of turmoil,” returned Rachel.
“I think old servants have a strange way of showing up when the house is in chaos,” replied Rachel.
“I have been walking round the garden with her, and doing my best to suffice for her entertainment,” said Grace, good-naturedly, “but she really wants to see you on business. She has a bill for the F. U. E. E. which she wants you to pay.”
“I’ve been walking around the garden with her and doing my best to keep her entertained,” Grace said cheerfully, “but she really wants to see you for a matter. She has a bill for the F. U. E. E. that she wants you to pay.”
“A bill for the F. U. E. E.?”
“A bill for the F. U. E. E.?”
“Yes; she makes many apologies for troubling you, but Tom is to be apprenticed to a grocer, and they want this fifteen pounds to make up the fee.”
“Yes, she’s really sorry for bothering you, but Tom is going to be an apprentice at a grocery store, and they need this fifteen pounds to cover the fee.”
“But I tell you, Grace, there can’t have been fifteen pounds’ worth of things had in this month, and they were paid on the 1st.”
“But I’m telling you, Grace, there couldn’t have been fifteen pounds' worth of stuff bought this month, and it was paid for on the 1st.”
“She says they have never been paid at all since the 1st of December.”
“She says they haven’t been paid anything since December 1st.”
“I assure you, Grace, it is in the books. I made a point of having all the accounts brought to me on the 1st of every month, and giving out the money. I gave out £3. 10s. for the Rossiturs last Friday, the 1st of February, when Mr. Mauleverer was over here. He said coals were dearer, and they had to keep more fires.”
“I promise you, Grace, it’s all recorded. I made sure to have all the accounts brought to me on the 1st of every month, and I distributed the money. I gave out £3.10 for the Rossiturs last Friday, February 1st, when Mr. Mauleverer was here. He mentioned that coal prices were higher, and they needed to keep more fires going.”
“There must be some mistake,” said Grace. “I’ll show you the books. Mr. Mauleverer keeps one himself, and leaves one with me. Oh, botheration, there’s the Grey carriage! Well, you go and receive them, and I’ll try to pacify Mrs. Rossitur, and then come down.”
“There has to be some mistake,” Grace said. “I’ll show you the books. Mr. Mauleverer keeps one himself and leaves one with me. Oh, great, there’s the Grey carriage! You go and receive them, and I’ll try to calm down Mrs. Rossitur, then I’ll come down.”
Neatly kept were these account books of the F. U. E. E,, and sure enough for every month were entered the sums for coals, wood, and potatoes, tallying exactly with Mrs. Rossitur’s account, and each month Mr. Mauleverer’s signature attested the receipt of the sum paid over to him by Rachel for household expenses. Rachel carried them down to Mrs. Rossitur, but this evidence utterly failed to convince that worthy personage that she had ever received a farthing after the 1st of December. She was profuse in her apologies for troubling Miss Rachel, and had only been led to do so by the exigencies of her son’s apprentice fee, and she reposed full confidence in Rachel’s eager assurance that she should not be a loser, and that in another day the matter should be investigated.
The account books of the F. U. E. E. were neatly organized, and sure enough, every month showed the amounts for coal, wood, and potatoes, matching exactly with Mrs. Rossitur’s account. Each month, Mr. Mauleverer’s signature confirmed the receipt of the money Rachel handed over for household expenses. Rachel brought them to Mrs. Rossitur, but this evidence completely failed to convince her that she had ever received a penny after December 1st. She was very apologetic for bothering Miss Rachel, explaining that she had only done so because of her son's apprenticeship fees, and she fully trusted Rachel’s enthusiastic promise that she wouldn’t be left at a loss and that the matter would be looked into the next day.
“And, Miss Rachel,” added the old servant, “you’ll excuse me, but they do say very odd things of the matron at that place, and I doubt you are deceived in her. Our lads went to the the-a-ter the other night, and I checked them well for it; but mother, says they, we had more call to be there than the governess up to Miss Rachel’s schule in Nichol Street, dressed out in pink feathers.”
“And, Miss Rachel,” said the old servant, “please forgive me, but they say some pretty strange things about the matron at that place, and I doubt you’re being told the whole truth about her. Our boys went to the theater the other night, and I made sure to talk to them about it; but they answered, ‘Mom, we had more reason to be there than the governess at Miss Rachel’s school on Nichol Street, all dressed up in pink feathers.’”
“Well, Mrs. Rossitur, I will make every inquiry, and I do not think you will find anything wrong. There must be some one about very like Mrs. Rawlins. I have heard of those pink feathers before, but I know who the matron is, and all about her! Good-bye. I’ll see you again before you go, I suppose it won’t be till the seven o’clock train.”
“Well, Mrs. Rossitur, I’ll look into everything, and I don’t think you’ll find anything wrong. There must be someone around who looks a lot like Mrs. Rawlins. I’ve heard about those pink feathers before, but I know who the matron is and everything about her! Goodbye. I’ll catch up with you again before you leave; I suppose it won’t be until the seven o’clock train.”
Mrs. Rossitur remained expressing her opinion to the butler that dear Miss Rachel was too innocent, and then proceeded to lose all past cares in a happy return to “melting day,” in the regions of her past glories as cook and housekeeper.
Mrs. Rossitur kept telling the butler that dear Miss Rachel was too innocent, and then she let go of all her previous worries in a joyful return to “melting day,” reminiscing about her past successes as a cook and housekeeper.
Rachel repaired to her room to cool her glowing cheeks, and repeat to herself, “A mistake, an error. It must be a blunder! That boy that went to the theatre may have cheated them! Mrs. Rawlins may have deceived Mr. Mauleverer. Anything must be true rather than—No, no! such a tissue of deception is impossible in a man of such sentiments! Persecuted as he has been, shall appearances make me—me, his only friend—turn against him? Oh, me! here come the whole posse purring upstairs to take off their things! I shall be invaded in a moment.”
Rachel retreated to her room to cool her flushed cheeks and repeated to herself, “A mistake, an error. It has to be a blunder! That guy who went to the theater might have tricked them! Mrs. Rawlins might have lied to Mr. Mauleverer. Anything is more believable than—No, no! such a web of lies is impossible for a man with such feelings! After everything he’s been through, can appearances make me—me, his only friend—turn against him? Oh no! here comes the whole group purring upstairs to take off their stuff! I’ll be invaded any minute.”
And in came Grace and the two younger ladies, and Rachel was no more her own from that moment.
And in walked Grace and the two younger women, and from that moment on, Rachel was no longer her own.
CHAPTER XVIII. THE FORLORN HOPE.
“She whipped two female ‘prentices to death, And hid them in the coal-hole. For her mind Shaped strictest plans of discipline, sage schemes, Such as Lycurgus taught.”—Canning and Frere.
“She whipped two female apprentices to death, And hid them in the coal-hole. For her mind Devised the strictest plans of discipline, wise strategies, Just like Lycurgus taught.” —Canning and Frere.
The favourite dentist of the neighbourhood dwelt in a grand mansion at St. Norbert’s, and thither were conducted Conrade and Francis, as victims to the symmetry of their mouths. Their mother accompanied them to supply the element of tenderness, Alison that of firmness; and, in fact, Lady Temple was in a state of much greater trepidation than either of her sons, who had been promised five shillings each as the reward of fortitude, and did nothing but discuss what they should buy with it.
The neighborhood's favorite dentist lived in a grand mansion at St. Norbert’s, where Conrade and Francis were taken as they faced the symmetry of their smiles. Their mother joined them to provide support, while Alison offered a sense of firmness; in fact, Lady Temple was much more nervous than either of her sons, who had been promised five shillings each as a reward for their bravery and spent the time discussing what they would buy with it.
They escaped with a reprieve to Conrade, and the loss of one tooth of Francis’s, and when the rewards had been laid out, and presents chosen for all the stay-at-home children, including Rose, Lady Temple became able to think about other matters. The whole party were in a little den at the pastrycook’s; the boys consuming mutton pies, and the ladies ox-tail soup, while waiting to be taken up by the waggonette which had of late been added to the Myrtlewood establishment, when the little lady thus spoke—
They got away with a break to Conrade, and with Francis losing a tooth, and after the rewards were set out and gifts chosen for all the kids who stayed behind, including Rose, Lady Temple was finally able to focus on other things. The whole group was in a small room at the pastry shop; the boys were eating mutton pies, and the ladies were having ox-tail soup, while they waited to be picked up by the wagonette that had recently been added to the Myrtlewood establishment, when the little lady said—
“If you don’t object, Miss Williams, we will go to Rachel’s asylum on our way home.”
“If you don’t mind, Miss Williams, we’ll stop by Rachel’s asylum on our way home.”
Miss Williams asked if she had made the appointment.
Miss Williams asked if she had scheduled the appointment.
“No,” said Lady Temple, “but you see I can’t be satisfied about those woodcuts; and that poor woman, Mrs. Kelland, came to me yesterday about my lace shawl, and she is sadly distressed about the little girl. She was not allowed to see her, you know, and she heard such odd things about the place that I told her that I did not wonder she was in trouble, and that I would try to bring the child home, or at any rate see and talk to her.”
“No,” said Lady Temple, “but you see I can’t stop worrying about those woodcuts. And that poor woman, Mrs. Kelland, came to me yesterday about my lace shawl, and she’s really upset about the little girl. She wasn’t allowed to see her, and she’s heard such strange things about the place that I told her I wasn’t surprised she was troubled, and that I would try to bring the child home, or at least see and talk to her.”
“I hope we may be able to see her, but you know Colonel Keith could not get in without making an appointment.”
“I hope we can see her, but you know Colonel Keith couldn’t get in without making an appointment.”
“I pay for her,” said Lady Temple, “and I cannot bear its going on in this way without some one seeing about it. The Colonel was quite sure those woodcuts were mere fabrications to deceive Rachel; and there must be something very wrong about those people.”
“I’m paying for her,” said Lady Temple, “and I can’t stand it going on like this without someone looking into it. The Colonel was certain those woodcuts were just lies to trick Rachel; and there must be something really off about those people.”
“Did she know that you were going?”
“Did she know you were going?”
“No; I did not see her before we went. I do not think she will mind it much; and I promised.” Lady Temple faltered a little, but gathered courage the next moment. “And indeed, after what Mrs. Kelland said, I could not sleep while I thought I had been the means of putting any poor child into such hands.”
“No; I didn’t see her before we left. I don’t think she’ll mind it too much; and I promised.” Lady Temple hesitated a bit but found her confidence again in a moment. “And honestly, after what Mrs. Kelland said, I couldn’t sleep knowing I might have put any poor child in such hands.”
“Yes,” said Alison, “it is very shocking to leave them there without inquiry, and it is an excellent thing to make the attempt.”
“Yes,” said Alison, “it’s really shocking to leave them there without investigation, and it’s great to make the effort.”
And so the order was given to drive to the asylum, Alison marvelling at the courage which prompted this most unexpected assault upon the fortress that had repulsed two such warriors as Colonel Keith and Mrs. Kelland. But timid and tender as she might be, it was not for nothing that Fanny Temple had been a vice-queen, so much accustomed to be welcomed wherever she penetrated, that the notion of a rebuff never suggested itself.
And so the order was given to head to the asylum, with Alison wondering at the bravery that inspired this surprising attack on the stronghold that had already turned away two formidable opponents like Colonel Keith and Mrs. Kelland. But despite her timid and gentle nature, Fanny Temple was not without merit, having been a vice-queen so used to being welcomed wherever she went that the idea of facing rejection never crossed her mind.
Coombe rang, and his lady made him let herself and Miss Williams out, so that she was on the step when the rough charwoman opened the door, and made the usual reply that Mr. Mauleverer was not within. Lady Temple answered that it was Mrs. Rawlins, the matron, that she wished to see, and with more audacity than Alison thought her capable of, inserted herself within the doorway, so as to prevent herself from being shut out as the girl took her message. The next moment the girl came back saying, “This way, ma’am,” opened the door of a small dreary, dusty, cold parlour, where she shut them in, and disappeared before a word could be said.
Coombe rang the bell, and his lady insisted on letting herself and Miss Williams in, so she was on the step when the rough charwoman opened the door and gave the usual response that Mr. Mauleverer wasn’t home. Lady Temple replied that she wanted to see Mrs. Rawlins, the matron, and with more boldness than Alison thought she was capable of, stepped into the doorway to prevent being shut out while the girl delivered her message. Moments later, the girl returned and said, “This way, ma’am,” opened the door to a small, dreary, dusty, cold parlor, where she shut them in and disappeared before they could say anything.
There they remained so long, that in spite of such encouragement as could be derived from peeping over the blinds at Coombe standing sentinel over his two young masters at the carriage window, Lady Temple began to feel some dismay, though no repentance, and with anxious iteration conjured Miss Williams to guess what could be the cause of delay.
There they stayed for so long that despite the reassurance of seeing Coombe keeping watch over his two young masters at the carriage window, Lady Temple started to feel some worry, although not regret, and repeatedly urged Miss Williams to figure out what might be causing the delay.
“Making ready for our reception,” was Alison’s answer in various forms; and Lady Temple repeated by turns, “I do not like it,” and “it is very unsatisfactory. No, I don’t like it at all,” the at all always growing more emphatic.
“Getting ready for our reception,” was Alison’s response in different ways; and Lady Temple alternated between saying, “I don’t like it,” and “it’s very unsatisfactory. No, I don’t like it at all,” with the at all becoming more emphatic each time.
The climax was, “Things must be very sad, or they would never take so much preparation. I’ll tell you, Miss Williams,” she added in a low confidential tone; “there are two of us, and the woman cannot be in two places at once. Now, if you go up and see the rooms and all, which I saw long ago, I could stay and talk to the poor children.”
The climax was, “Things must be really sad, or they wouldn’t require so much preparation. I’ll tell you, Miss Williams,” she added in a low, confidential tone; “there are two of us, and the woman can’t be in two places at once. Now, if you go up and check out the rooms and everything that I saw a long time ago, I could stay and talk to the poor kids.”
Alison was the more surprised at the simple statecraft of the General’s widow, but it was prompted by the pitiful heart yearning over the mysterious wrongs of the poor little ones.
Alison was even more surprised by the straightforward approach of the General’s widow, but it was driven by a deep empathy for the mysterious injustices faced by the vulnerable children.
At last Mrs. Rawlins sailed in, crape, streamers, and all, with the lowest of curtsies and fullest of apologies for having detained her Ladyship, but she had been sending out in pursuit of Mr. Mauleverer, he would be so disappointed! Lady Temple begged to see the children, and especially Lovedy, whom she said she should like to take home for a holiday.
At last, Mrs. Rawlins walked in, complete with a black dress and colorful streamers, offering the deepest curtsy and the most sincere apologies for keeping her Ladyship waiting. She had been sending someone to find Mr. Mauleverer; he would be so let down! Lady Temple expressed her desire to see the kids, particularly Lovedy, whom she said she would like to take home for a holiday.
“Why, my lady, you see Mr. Mauleverer is very particular. I hardly know that I could answer it to him to have one of his little darlings out of his sight. It unsettles a child so to be going home, and Lovedy has a bad cold, my lady, and I am afraid it will run through the house. My little Alice is beginning of it.”
“Why, my lady, you see Mr. Mauleverer is very particular. I’m not sure I could explain to him why one of his little darlings would be out of his sight. It really unsettles a child to be going home, and Lovedy has a bad cold, my lady, and I'm worried it will spread through the house. My little Alice is starting to catch it.”
However, Lady Temple kept to her desire of seeing Lovedy, and of letting her companion see the rest of the establishment, and they were at last ushered into the room already known to the visitors of the F. U. E. E., where the two children sat as usual in white pinafores, but it struck the ladies that all looked ill, and Lovedy was wrapped in a shawl, and sat cowering in a dull, stupified way, unlike the bright responsive manner for which she had been noted even in her lace-school days. Mary Morris gazed for a moment at Alison with a wistful appealing glance, then, with a start as of fright, put on a sullen stolid look, and kept her eyes on her book. The little Alice, looking very heavy and feverish, leant against her, and Mrs. Rawlins went on talking of the colds, the gruel she had made, and her care for her pupils’ ailments, and Lady Temple listened so graciously that Alison feared she was succumbing to the palaver; and by way of reminder, asked to see the dormitory.
However, Lady Temple was determined to see Lovedy and to let her companion explore the rest of the establishment, and they were finally shown into the room already familiar to visitors of the F. U. E. E., where the two children sat as usual in white pinafores. But the ladies noticed that all looked unwell, and Lovedy was wrapped in a shawl, sitting quietly in a dull, dazed manner, unlike the bright, responsive way she had been known for even during her lace-school days. Mary Morris glanced at Alison with a wistful, pleading look, then, startled as if scared, adopted a sullen, indifferent expression and focused on her book. Little Alice, looking very sluggish and feverish, leaned against her, and Mrs. Rawlins continued talking about the colds, the gruel she had prepared, and her concern for her pupils' health issues. Lady Temple listened so graciously that Alison worried she was falling for the flattery; to remind her, she requested to see the dormitory.
“Oh, yes, ma’am, certainly, though we are rather in confusion,” and she tried to make both ladies precede her, but Lady Temple, for once assuming the uncomprehending nonchalance of a fine lady, seated herself languidly and motioned Alison on. The matron was evidently perplexed, she looked daggers at the children, or Ailie fancied so, but she was forced to follow the governess. Lady Temple breathed more freely, and rose. “My poor child,” she said to Lovedy, “you seem very poorly. Have you any message to your aunt?”
“Oh, yes, ma’am, definitely, but we are a bit confused,” she said, trying to get both ladies to go ahead of her. However, Lady Temple, for once acting like a completely indifferent aristocrat, sat down lazily and signaled for Alison to continue. The matron clearly looked puzzled; she shot glares at the children—or at least Ailie thought so—but she had to follow the governess. Lady Temple relaxed a bit and stood up. “My poor child,” she said to Lovedy, “you seem unwell. Do you have any message for your aunt?”
“Please, please!” began Lovedy, with a hoarse sob.
“Please, please!” Lovedy started, her voice cracking with a sob.
“Lovedy, don’t, don’t be a bad girl, or you know—” interposed the little one, in a warning whisper.
“Lovedy, don’t, don’t be a bad girl, or you know—” the little one interrupted in a warning whisper.
“She is not naughty,” said Lady Temple gently, “only not well.”
“She’s not misbehaving,” Lady Temple said softly, “she’s just not feeling well.”
“Please, my lady, look,” eagerly, though with a fugitive action of terror, Lovedy cried, unpinning the thin coarse shawl on her neck, and revealing the terrible stripes and weals of recent beating, such as nearly sickened Lady Temple.
“Please, my lady, look,” Lovedy said eagerly, though with a moment of fear, unpinning the thin, rough shawl around her neck and exposing the terrible stripes and welts from a recent beating, which nearly made Lady Temple feel sick.
“Oh, Lovedy,” entreated Alice, “she’ll take the big stick.”
“Oh, Lovedy,” Alice pleaded, “she’ll grab the big stick.”
“She could not do her work,” interposed Mary with furtive eagerness, “she is so poorly, and Missus said she would have the twenty sprigs if she sat up all night.”
“She can’t do her work,” Mary chimed in with eager eyes, “she’s so sick, and Mrs. said she would get the twenty sprigs if she stayed up all night.”
“Sprigs!”
"Herbs!"
“Yes, ma’am, we makes lace more than ever we did to home, day and night; and if we don’t she takes the stick.”
“Yes, ma’am, we make lace more than we ever did at home, day and night; and if we don’t, she takes the stick.”
“Oh, Mary,” implored the child, “she said if you said one word.”
“Oh, Mary,” begged the child, “she said if you say a single word.”
“Mary,” said Lady Temple, trembling all over, “where are your bonnets?”
“Mary,” said Lady Temple, shaking all over, “where are your hats?”
“We haven’t none, ma’am,” returned Mary, “she pawned them. But, oh, ma’am, please take us away. We are used dreadful bad, and no one knows it.”
“We don’t have any, ma’am,” Mary replied, “she pawned them. But, oh, ma’am, please take us away. We’re treated terribly, and no one understands.”
Lady Temple took Lovedy in one hand, and Mary in the other; then looked at the other little girl, who stood as if petrified. She handed the pair to the astonished Coombe, bidding him put them into the carriage, and let Master Temple go outside, and then faced about to defend the rear, her rustling black silk and velvet filling up the passage, just as Alison and the matron were coming down stairs.
Lady Temple took Lovedy in one hand and Mary in the other, then looked at the other little girl, who stood there frozen. She handed the two to the surprised Coombe, telling him to put them in the carriage and let Master Temple go outside, then turned to defend the rear, her rustling black silk and velvet filling the hallway just as Alison and the matron were coming down the stairs.
“Mrs. Rawlins,” she said, in her gentle dignity, “I think Lovedy is so poorly that she ought to go home to her aunt to be nursed, and I have taken little Mary that she may not be left behind alone. Please to tell Mr. Mauleverer that I take it all upon myself. The other little girl is not at all to blame, and I hope you will take care of her, for she looks very ill.”
“Mrs. Rawlins,” she said, with quiet grace, “I think Lovedy is so sick that she should go home to her aunt to be taken care of, and I’ve taken little Mary so she won't be left alone. Please let Mr. Mauleverer know that I’m taking full responsibility for this. The other little girl isn’t at fault at all, and I hope you’ll look after her because she seems very unwell.”
So much for being a Governor’s widow! A woman of thrice Fanny’s energy and capacity would not have effected her purpose so simply, and made the virago in the matron so entirely quail. She swept forth with such a consciousness of power and ease that few could have had assurance enough to gainsay her, but no sooner was she in the carriage than she seized Mary’s hand, exclaiming, “My poor, poor little dear! Francis, dear boy, the wicked people have been beating her! Oh, Miss Williams, look at her poor neck!”
So much for being a Governor’s widow! A woman with three times Fanny's energy and skills wouldn't have achieved her goal so easily, making the tough matron back down completely. She stepped out with such confidence and grace that few would have dared to argue with her, but as soon as she got into the car, she grabbed Mary’s hand, exclaiming, “My poor, poor little dear! Francis, dear boy, those mean people have been hurting her! Oh, Miss Williams, look at her poor neck!”
Alison lifting Lovedy on her knee, glanced under the shawl, and saw indeed a sad spectacle, and she felt such a sharpness of bone as proved that there was far from being the proper amount of clothing or of flesh to protect them. Lady Temple looked at Mary’s attenuated hand, and fairly sobbed, “Oh, you have been cruelly treated!”
Alison lifted Lovedy onto her knee, looked underneath the shawl, and saw a truly sad sight. She felt the sharpness of bone, which made it clear that there was nowhere near enough clothing or flesh to keep them safe. Lady Temple glanced at Mary’s thin hand and sobbed, “Oh, you have been treated so cruelly!”
“Please don’t let her get us,” cried the frightened Mary.
“Please don’t let her catch us,” cried the scared Mary.
“Never, never, my dear. We are taking you home to your mother.”
“Never, ever, my dear. We're taking you home to your mom.”
Mary Morris was the spokeswoman, and volunteered the exhibition of bruises rather older, but no less severe than those of her companion. All had been inflicted by the woman; Mr. Mauleverer had seldom or never been seen by the children, except Alice, who used often to be called into Mrs. Rawlins’s parlour when he was there, to be played with and petted. A charwoman was occasionally called in, but otherwise the entire work of the house was exacted from the two girls, and they had been besides kept perpetually to their lace pillows, and severely beaten if they failed in the required amount of work; the ample wardrobe with which their patronesses had provided them had been gradually taken from them, and their fare had latterly become exceedingly coarse, and very scanty. It was a sad story, and this last clause evoked from Francis’s pocket a large currant bun, which Mary devoured with a famished appetite, but Lovedy held her portion untasted in her hand, and presently gave it to Mary, saying that her throat was so bad that she could not make use of anything. She had already been wrapped in Lady Temple’s cloak, and Francis was desired to watch for a chemist’s shop that something might be done for her relief, but the region of shops was already left behind, and even the villas were becoming scantier, so that nothing was to be done but to drive on, obtaining from time to time further doleful narratives from Mary, and perceiving more and more how ill and suffering was the other poor child.
Mary Morris was the spokesperson and showed off her bruises, which were older but just as serious as those of her friend. All the bruises had been caused by the woman; Mr. Mauleverer was rarely, if ever, seen by the children, except for Alice, who was often called into Mrs. Rawlins’s parlor when he was there to be played with and spoiled. A cleaning lady came in occasionally, but otherwise, all the household chores fell on the two girls, who were also kept constantly working at their lace pillows and severely punished if they didn’t meet the required amount of work. The generous wardrobe their benefactors had given them had slowly been taken away, and their meals had recently become very poor and meager. It was a heartbreaking situation, and this last detail prompted Francis to pull out a large currant bun from his pocket, which Mary devoured with a ravenous appetite, but Lovedy held her share untouched in her hand and eventually gave it to Mary, saying that her throat was so sore she couldn't eat anything. She had already been wrapped in Lady Temple’s cloak, and Francis was asked to look for a chemist's shop so something could be done for her relief, but they had already left the shopping area behind, and even the houses were becoming fewer, so there was nothing to do but continue on, getting more and more sorrowful stories from Mary and seeing increasingly how ill and suffering the other poor girl was.
Moreover, Lady Temple’s mind became extremely uneasy as to the manner in which Rachel might accept her exploit. All her valour departed as she figured to herself that young lady discrediting the alarm, and resenting her interference. She did not repent, she knew she could not have helped it, and she had rather have been tortured by Rachel than have left the victims another hour to the F. U. E. E., but she was full of nervous anxiety, little as she yet guessed at the full price of her courage; and she uttered more than once the fervent wish that the Colonel had been there, for he would have known what to do. And Alison each time replied, “I wish it with all my heart!”
Moreover, Lady Temple’s mind became very anxious about how Rachel would react to her actions. All her courage disappeared as she imagined that young lady dismissing the alarm and resenting her interference. She didn’t regret what she did; she knew she couldn’t have done anything differently, and she would rather endure Rachel's anger than leave the victims with the F. U. E. E. for another hour. But she was filled with nervous anxiety, little realizing the full cost of her bravery; she expressed more than once the heartfelt wish that the Colonel had been there, because he would have known what to do. And each time, Alison replied, “I wish it with all my heart!”
Wrought up at last to the pitch of nervousness that must rush on the crisis at once, and take the bull by the horns, this valiant piece of cowardice declared that she could not even return the girls to their homes till Rachel knew all about it, and gave the word to drive to the Homestead, further cheered by the recollection that Colonel Keith would probably be there, having been asked to luncheon, as he could not dine out, to meet Mr. Grey. Moreover, Mr. Grey was a magistrate and would know what was to be done.
Finally worked up to the level of anxiety that compelled immediate action, this brave act of fearfulness announced that she couldn’t even take the girls back to their homes until Rachel was fully informed and gave the go-ahead to head to the Homestead. She felt a bit more encouraged knowing that Colonel Keith would likely be there since he was invited to lunch—he couldn’t dine out—to meet Mr. Grey. Plus, Mr. Grey was a magistrate and would know what steps to take.
Thus the whole party at the Homestead were assembled near the door, when, discerning them too late to avoid them, Lady Temple’s equipage drew up in the peculiarly ungraceful fashion of waggonettes, when they prepare to shoot their passengers out behind.
Thus the whole group at the Homestead gathered near the door, when, noticing them too late to steer clear, Lady Temple’s carriage pulled up in the awkward manner of wagonettes, ready to eject their passengers from the back.
Conrade, the only person who had the advantage of a previous view, stood up on the box, and before making his descent, shouted out, “Oh, Aunt Rachel, your F. U. thing is as bad as the Sepoys. But we have saved the two little girls that they were whipping to death, and have got them in the carriage.”
Conrade, the only one who had seen it before, stood up on the box and, before climbing down, shouted, “Oh, Aunt Rachel, your F. U. thing is as bad as the Sepoys. But we saved the two little girls they were whipping to death, and we’ve got them in the carriage.”
While this announcement was being delivered, Alison Williams, the nearest to the door, had emerged. She lifted out the little muffled figure of Lovedy, set her on her feet, and then looking neither to the right nor left, as if she saw and thought of no one else, made but one bound towards Colonel Keith, clasped both hands round his arm, turned him away from the rest, and with her black brows drawn close together, gasped under her breath, “O, Colin, Colin, it is Maria Hatherton.”
While this announcement was being made, Alison Williams, closest to the door, stepped out. She picked up the small, quiet figure of Lovedy, set her on her feet, and then without looking right or left, as if she noticed and thought about no one else, made a single leap toward Colonel Keith, wrapped both hands around his arm, turned him away from everyone else, and with her black brows furrowed together, breathed out, “Oh, Colin, Colin, it’s Maria Hatherton.”
“What! the matron?”
"What! The matron?"
“Yes, the woman that has used these poor children like a savage. O, Colin, it is frightful.”
“Yes, the woman who has treated these poor children like animals. Oh, Colin, it’s terrible.”
“You should sit down, you are almost ready to faint.”
“You should sit down; you’re about to faint.”
“Nothing! nothing! But the poor girls are in such a state. And that Maria whom we taught, and—” Alison stopped.
“Nothing! Nothing! But the poor girls are in such a state. And that Maria we taught, and—” Alison stopped.
“Did she know you?”
“Did she recognize you?”
“I can’t tell. Perhaps; but I did not know her till the last moment.”
“I can’t say. Maybe; but I didn’t really know her until the very end.”
“I have long believed that the man that Rose recognised was Mauleverer, but I thought the uncertainty would be bad for Ermine. What is all this?”
“I’ve always thought that the guy Rose recognized was Mauleverer, but I believed the doubt would be tough on Ermine. What's going on here?”
“You will hear. There! Listen, I can’t tell you; Lady Temple did it all,” said Alison, trying to draw away her arm from him, and to assume the staid governess. But he felt her trembling, and did not release her from his support as they fanned back to the astonished group, to which, while these few words were passing, Francis, the little bareheaded white-aproned Mary Morris, and lastly Lady Temple, had by this time been added; and Fanny, with quick but courteous acknowledgment of all, was singling out her cousin.
“You’ll see. There! Listen, I can’t explain it; Lady Temple did everything,” said Alison, trying to pull her arm away from him and put on a serious governess demeanor. But he could feel her trembling and didn’t let go of her as they returned to the shocked group, which by this time included Francis, the little bareheaded Mary Morris in her white apron, and finally Lady Temple. Fanny, quickly but politely acknowledging everyone, was looking for her cousin.
“Oh, Rachel, dear, I did not mean it to have been so sudden or before them all, but indeed I could not help it,” she said in her gentle, imploring voice, “if you only saw that poor dear child’s neck.”
“Oh, Rachel, my dear, I didn’t mean for it to happen so suddenly or in front of everyone, but I truly couldn’t help it,” she said in her soft, pleading voice, “if only you could see that poor sweet child’s neck.”
Rachel had little choice what she should say or do. What Fanny was saying tenderly and privately, the two boys were communicating open-mouthed, and Mrs. Curtis came at once with her nervous, “What is it, my dear; is it something very sad? Those poor children look very cold, and half starved.”
Rachel had very few options for what to say or do. What Fanny was saying softly and privately, the two boys were saying out loud, and Mrs. Curtis immediately asked, “What is it, my dear? Is it something really sad? Those poor kids look freezing and half-starved.”
“Indeed,” said Fanny, “they have been starved, and beaten, and cruelly used. I am very sorry, Rachel, but indeed that was a dreadful woman, and I thought Colonel Keith and Mr. Grey would tell us what ought to be done.”
“Absolutely,” Fanny said, “they’ve been neglected, mistreated, and horribly abused. I really feel for them, Rachel, but that woman was truly terrible, and I expected Colonel Keith and Mr. Grey to give us advice on what needs to be done.”
“Mr. Grey!” and Mrs. Curtis turned round eagerly, with the comfort of having some one to support her, “will you tell us what is to be done? Here has poor dear Rachel been taken in by this wicked scheme, and these poor—”
“Mr. Grey!” Mrs. Curtis turned around eagerly, relieved to have someone to back her up. “Can you tell us what to do? Poor Rachel has fallen for this wicked scheme, and these poor—”
“Mother, mother,” muttered Rachel, lashed up to desperation; “please not out here, before the servants and every one.”
“Mom, mom,” murmured Rachel, driven to desperation; “please don’t do this out here, in front of the staff and everyone.”
This appeal and Grace’s opening of the door had the effect of directing every one into the hall, Mr. Grey asking Mrs. Curtis by the way, “Eh? Then this is Rachel’s new female asylum, is it?”
This invitation and Grace’s opening of the door made everyone head into the hall, with Mr. Grey asking Mrs. Curtis, “Oh? So this is Rachel’s new women’s shelter, is it?”
“Yes, I always feared there was something odd about it. I never liked that man, and now—Fanny, my love, what is the matter?”
“Yes, I always felt there was something strange about it. I never liked that guy, and now—Fanny, my love, what’s wrong?”
In a few simple words Fanny answered that she had contrived to be left alone with the children, and had then found signs of such shocking ill-treatment of them, that she had thought it right to bring them away at once.
In just a few words, Fanny explained that she had managed to be alone with the kids and then discovered such terrible signs of mistreatment that she felt it was necessary to take them away immediately.
“And you will commit those wretches. You will send them to prison at once, Mr. Grey. They have been deceiving my poor Rachel ever so long, and getting sums upon sums of money out of her,” said Mrs. Curtis, becoming quite blood-thirsty.
“And you will put those scoundrels away. You will send them to prison right away, Mr. Grey. They have been tricking my poor Rachel for so long, and taking piles of money from her,” said Mrs. Curtis, growing quite furious.
“If there is sufficient occasion I will summon the persons concerned to the Bench on Wednesday,” said Mr. Grey, a practical, active squire.
“If there's a good reason, I will call the people involved to the Bench on Wednesday,” said Mr. Grey, a practical, active landowner.
“Not till Wednesday!” said Mrs. Curtis, as if she thought the course of justice very tardy. But the remembrance of Mr. Curtis’s magisterial days came to her aid, and she continued, “but you can take all the examinations here at once, you know; and Grace can find you a summons paper, if you will just go into the study.”
“Not until Wednesday!” said Mrs. Curtis, as if she thought the legal process was really slow. But then she remembered Mr. Curtis's days as a magistrate and added, “but you can take all the exams here at once, you know; and Grace can find you a summons paper if you just go into the study.”
“It might save the having the children over to-morrow, certainly,” said Mr. Grey, and he was inducted almost passively into the leathern chair before the library table, where Mr. Curtis had been wont to administer justice, and Grace was diving deep into a bureau for the printed forms long treasured there, her mother directing her, though Mr. Grey vainly protested that any foolscap would do as well. It was a curious scene. Mrs. Grey with her daughters had the discretion to remove themselves, but every one else was in a state of excitement, and pressed into the room, the two boys disputing under their breath whether the civilians called it a court martial, and, with some confusion between mutineers and Englishwomen, hoping the woman would be blown from the mouth of a cannon, for hadn’t she gone and worn a cap like mamma’s? They would have referred the question to Miss Williams, but she had been deposited by the Colonel on one of the chairs in the furthest corner of the room, and he stood sheltering her agitation and watching the proceedings. Lady Temple still held a hand of each of her rescued victims, as if she feared they were still in danger, and all the time Rachel stood and looked like a statue, unable to collect her convictions in the hubbub, and the trust, that would have enabled her to defy all this, swept away from her by the morning’s transactions. Yet still there was a hope that appearances might be delusive, and an habitual low estimate of Mr. Grey’s powers that made her set on looking with her own eyes, not with his.
“It might save having the kids over tomorrow, for sure,” said Mr. Grey, as he was almost passively guided into the leather chair at the library table, where Mr. Curtis used to hand out justice. Grace was rummaging through a bureau for the printed forms she had kept for a long time, her mother directing her, even though Mr. Grey futilely argued that any foolscap would work just as well. It was a strange scene. Mrs. Grey and her daughters had the sense to step aside, but everyone else was buzzing with excitement, crowding into the room. The two boys were quietly debating whether the civilians called it a court martial, and confused between mutineers and Englishwomen, they were hoping the woman would be blown from the mouth of a cannon, since hadn’t she gone and worn a hat like mom's? They might have asked Miss Williams for clarification, but she had been placed by the Colonel in one of the chairs in the farthest corner of the room, where he was standing, protecting her from her nerves while observing the proceedings. Lady Temple still held a hand of each of her rescued victims, as if she feared they were still in danger. Meanwhile, Rachel was standing there like a statue, unable to gather her thoughts amidst the chaos, and the trust that would have empowered her to confront all of this had been swept away by the morning’s events. Still, there was a hope that appearances might be misleading, and her usual low opinion of Mr. Grey’s abilities led her to insist on seeing things for herself, not through his eyes.
His first question was about the children’s names and their friends, and this led to the despatching of a message to the mother and aunt. He then inquired about the terms on which they had been placed at St. Norbert’s, and Rachel, who was obliged to reply, felt under his clear, stringent questions, keeping close to the point, a good deal more respect for his powers than she had hitherto entertained. That dry way of his was rather overwhelming. When it came to the children themselves, Rachel watched, not without a hope that the clear masculine intellect would detect Fanny in a more frightened woman’s fancy, and bring the F. U. E. E. off with flying colours.
His first question was about the children’s names and their friends, and this led to sending a message to their mother and aunt. He then asked about the conditions they had been placed under at St. Norbert’s, and Rachel, who had to respond, felt a lot more respect for his abilities than she had before, especially under his direct and focused questions. His straightforward manner was quite impressive. When it came to the children themselves, Rachel watched, not without hope that his clear masculine perspective would see through Fanny's more anxious outlook and help the F. U. E. E. succeed brilliantly.
Little Mary Morris stood forth valiant and excited. She was eleven years old, and intelligent enough to make it evident that she knew what she was about. The replies were full. The blows were described, with terrible detail of the occasions and implements. Still Rachel remembered the accusation of Mary’s truth. She tried to doubt.
Little Mary Morris stood forward, brave and excited. She was eleven years old and smart enough to show that she knew what she was talking about. The responses were thorough. The punches were recounted, with awful detail about the situations and tools used. Still, Rachel recalled the accusation about Mary’s honesty. She tried to have doubts.
“I saw her with a bruised eye,” said the Colonel’s unexpected voice in a pause. “How was that?”
“I saw her with a black eye,” said the Colonel’s unexpected voice in a pause. “What happened?”
“Please, sir, Mrs. Rawlins hit me with her fist because I had only done seven sprigs. She knocked me down, and I did not come to for ever so long.”
“Please, sir, Mrs. Rawlins hit me with her fist because I had only done seven sprigs. She knocked me down, and I didn’t wake up for a long time.”
And not only this, and the like sad narratives, but each child bore the marks in corroboration of the words, which were more reluctant and more hoarse from Lovedy, but even more effective. Rachel doubted no more after the piteous sight of those scarred shoulders, and the pinched feeble face; but one thing was plain, namely, that Mr. Mauleverer had no share in the cruelties. Even such severities as had been perpetrated while he was in the house, had, Mary thought, been protested against by him, but she had seldom seen him, he paid all his visits in the little parlour, and took no notice of the children except to prepare the tableau for public inspection. Mr. Grey, looking at his notes, said that there was full evidence to justify issuing a summons against the woman for assaulting the children, and proceeded to ask her name. Then while there was a question whether her Christian name was known, the Colonel again said, “I believe her name to be Maria Hatherton. Miss Williams has recognised her as a servant who once lived in her family, and who came from her father’s parish at Beauchamp.”
And not only that, but each child also had visible marks that supported their words, which were more hesitant and hoarse coming from Lovedy, but even more impactful. Rachel no longer doubted after seeing the heartbreaking sight of those scarred shoulders and the frail, pinched face. One thing was clear, though: Mr. Mauleverer had no part in the cruelty. Even the harsh treatment that took place while he was in the house, Mary thought, had been opposed by him, but she seldom saw him; he conducted all his visits in the small parlor and paid no attention to the children except to set up the scene for public viewing. Mr. Grey, looking at his notes, stated that there was enough evidence to issue a summons against the woman for assaulting the children and proceeded to ask for her name. Just then, while they debated whether her first name was known, the Colonel said again, “I believe her name is Maria Hatherton. Miss Williams has recognized her as a servant who once worked for her family, and who came from her father’s parish in Beauchamp.”
Alison on inquiry corroborated the statement, and the charge was made against Maria Rawlins, alias Hatherton. The depositions were read over to the children, and signed by them; with very trembling fingers by poor little Lovedy, and Mr. Grey said he would send a policeman with the summons early next day.
Alison, when questioned, confirmed the statement, and a charge was filed against Maria Rawlins, also known as Hatherton. The depositions were reviewed with the children, and they signed them; poor little Lovedy did so with very shaky hands. Mr. Grey said he would send a police officer with the summons early the next day.
“But, Mr. Grey,” burst out Mrs. Curtis, “you don’t mean that you are not going to do anything to that man! Why he has been worse than the woman! It was he that entrapped the poor children, and my poor Rachel here, with his stories of magazines and illustrations, and I don’t know what all!”
“But, Mr. Grey,” Mrs. Curtis exclaimed, “you can’t really be saying you’re not going to do anything about that guy! He’s been even worse than the woman! He was the one who lured my poor children and my Rachel here in with his tales about magazines and illustrations, and I don’t know what else!”
“Very true, Mrs. Curtis,” said the magistrate, “but where’s the charge against him?”
“That's very true, Mrs. Curtis,” said the magistrate, “but what’s the charge against him?”
It may be conceived how pleasant it was to the clever woman of the family to hear her mother declaiming on the arts by which she had been duped by this adventurer, appealing continually to Grace and Fanny, and sometimes to herself, and all before Mr. Grey, on whose old-world prejudices she had bestowed much more antagonism than he had thought it worth while to bestow on her new lights. Yet, at the moment, this operation of being written down an ass, was less acutely painful to her than the perception that was simultaneously growing on her of the miserable condition of poor little Lovedy, whose burning hand she held, and whose gasping breath she heard, as the child rested feebly in the chair in which she had been placed. Rachel had nothing vindictive or selfish in her mood, and her longing was, above all, to get away, and minister to the poor child’s present sufferings; but she found herself hemmed in, and pinned down by the investigation pushed on by her mother, involving answers and explanations that she alone could make.
It was easy to imagine how enjoyable it was for the smart woman in the family to listen to her mother ranting about the ways she had been fooled by this con artist, constantly appealing to Grace and Fanny, and sometimes even to her, all in front of Mr. Grey, to whom she had directed much more opposition than he believed was worth giving to her new views. However, at that moment, the embarrassment of being labeled a fool was less painful for her than realizing the sad state of poor little Lovedy, whose hot hand she held and whose labored breathing she could hear as the child weakly rested in the chair where she had been placed. Rachel had no vindictive or selfish feelings in her heart; her main desire was to escape and tend to the poor child's immediate suffering. But she felt trapped and restricted by the questions her mother was pressing, requiring answers and explanations that only she could provide.
Mr. Grey rubbed his forehead, and looked freshly annoyed at each revelation of the state of things. It had not been Mauleverer, but Rachel, who had asked subscriptions for the education of the children, he had but acted as her servant, the counterfeit of the woodcuts, which Lady Temple suggested, could not be construed into an offence; and it looked very much as if, thanks to his cleverness, and Rachel’s incaution, there was really no case to be made out against him, as if the fox had carried off the bait without even leaving his brush behind him. Sooth to say, the failure was a relief to Rachel, she had thrown so much of her will and entire self into the upholding him, that she could not yet detach herself or sympathize with those gentle souls, the mother and Fanny, in keenly hunting him down. Might he not have been as much deceived in Mrs. Rawlins as herself? At any rate she hoped for time to face the subject, and kneeling on the ground so as to support little Lovedy’s sinking head on her shoulder, made the briefest replies in her power when referred to. At last, Grace recollected the morning’s affair of Mrs. Rossitur’s bills. Mr. Grey looked as if he saw daylight, Grace volunteered to fetch both the account-book and Mrs. Rossitur, and Rachel found the statement being extracted from her of the monthly production of the bills, with the entries in the book, and of her having given the money for their payment. Mr. Grey began to write, and she perceived that he was taking down her deposition. She beckoned Mary to support her poor little companion, and rising to her feet, said, to the horror and consternation of her mother, “Mr. Grey, pray let me speak to you!”
Mr. Grey rubbed his forehead, looking increasingly annoyed with each new piece of information. It hadn’t been Mauleverer, but Rachel, who had asked for donations for the children's education; he had merely acted as her assistant. The imitation of the woodcuts that Lady Temple suggested couldn’t be seen as an offense. It seemed that thanks to his cleverness and Rachel’s carelessness, there really was no case against him, as if the fox had taken the bait without leaving a trace. Honestly, the outcome was a relief for Rachel. She had invested so much of herself in defending him that she couldn’t yet detach herself or sympathize with those gentle souls, the mother and Fanny, who were eager to track him down. Couldn’t he have been just as misled by Mrs. Rawlins as she was? In any case, she hoped for some time to handle the situation. Kneeling down to support little Lovedy's drooping head on her shoulder, she offered the briefest responses when asked. Finally, Grace remembered the issue of Mrs. Rossitur’s bills from the morning. Mr. Grey looked like he was finally seeing some clarity. Grace volunteered to grab both the account book and Mrs. Rossitur, and Rachel found herself explaining the monthly bill totals, along with the entries in the book, and mentioning that she had paid the bills. Mr. Grey started to write, and she realized he was recording her statement. She signaled to Mary to help her poor little friend and, rising to her feet, said, to her mother’s horror and shock, “Mr. Grey, please let me talk to you!”
He rose at once, and followed her to the hall, where he looked prepared to be kind but firm.
He immediately got up and followed her to the hallway, where he seemed ready to be supportive but also decisive.
“Must this be done to-day?” she said.
“Do we have to do this today?” she said.
“Why not?” he answered.
“Why not?” he replied.
“I want time to think about it. The woman has acted like a fiend, and I have not a word to say for her; but I cannot feel that it is fair, after such long and entire trust of this man, to turn on him suddenly without notice.”
“I need some time to think about it. The woman has behaved terribly, and I have nothing good to say about her; but I don’t think it’s fair, after trusting this man completely for so long, to suddenly go against him without any warning.”
“Do you mean that you will not prosecute?” said Mr. Grey, with a dozen notes of interjection in his voice.
“Are you saying that you won’t pursue charges?” Mr. Grey asked, his voice filled with various notes of surprise.
“I have not said so. I want time to make up my mind, and to hear what he has to say for himself.”
“I haven’t said that. I need time to figure things out and to hear what he has to say for himself.”
“You will hear that at the Bench on Wednesday.”
“You’ll hear that at the Bench on Wednesday.”
“It will not be the same thing.”
“It won't be the same.”
“I should hope not!”
"I certainly hope not!"
“You see,” said Rachel, perplexed and grievously wanting time to rally her forces, “I cannot but feel that I have trusted too easily, and perhaps been to blame myself for my implicit confidence, and after that it revolts me to throw the whole blame on another.”
“You see,” said Rachel, confused and desperately needing time to gather her thoughts, “I can’t help but feel that I’ve trusted too easily, and maybe I’m to blame for my blind confidence, and after that it disgusts me to place all the blame on someone else.”
“If you have been a simpleton, does that make him an honest man?” said Mr. Grey, impatiently.
“If you’ve been naive, does that make him an honest man?” Mr. Grey said, impatiently.
“No,” said Rachel, “but—”
“No,” Rachel said, “but—”
“What?”
“Excuse me?”
“My credulity may have caused his dishonesty,” she said, bringing, at last, the words to serve the idea.
“My willingness to believe may have led to his dishonesty,” she said, finally finding the words to express the idea.
“Look you here, Rachel,” said Mr. Grey, constraining himself to argue patiently with his old friend’s daughter; “it does not simply lie between you and him—a silly girl who has let herself be taken in by a sharper. That would be no more than giving a sixpence to a fellow that tells me he lost his arm at Sebastopol when he has got it sewn up in a bag. But you have been getting subscriptions from all the world, making yourself answerable to them for having these children educated, and then, for want of proper superintendence, or the merest rational precaution, leaving them to this barbarous usage. I don’t want to be hard upon you, but you are accountable for all this; you have made yourself so, and unless you wish to be regarded as a sharer in the iniquity, the least you can do by way of compensation, is not to make yourself an obstruction to the course of justice.”
“Listen, Rachel,” Mr. Grey said, making an effort to patiently reason with his old friend’s daughter. “This isn’t just about you and him—a naive girl who’s been fooled by a con artist. That’d be like giving a coin to someone who claims he lost his arm in Sebastopol while it’s actually tucked away in a bag. But you’ve been collecting donations from everyone, making yourself responsible for getting these kids educated, and then, due to a lack of proper oversight or any sensible precautions, leaving them to this cruel treatment. I don’t want to be harsh on you, but you are responsible for all this; you’ve made yourself accountable. Unless you want to be seen as complicit in this wrongdoing, the least you can do to make up for it is to not obstruct the course of justice.”
“I don’t much care how I am regarded,” said Rachel, with subdued tone and sunken head; “I only want to do right, and not act spitefully and vindictively before he has had warning to defend himself.”
“I don’t really care how people see me,” Rachel said, her voice low and her head down; “I just want to do the right thing and not act out of spite or revenge before he’s had a chance to defend himself.”
“Or to set off to delude as many equal foo—mistaken people as he can find elsewhere! Eh, Rachel? Don’t you see, it this friend of yours be innocent, a summons will not hurt him, it will only give him the opportunity of clearing himself.”
“Or to go out and fool as many equally misguided people as he can find elsewhere! Right, Rachel? Don’t you see, if this friend of yours is innocent, a summons won't hurt him; it'll just give him the chance to prove he's innocent.”
“Yes, I see,” owned Rachel, and overpowered, though far from satisfied, she allowed herself to be brought back, and did what was required of her, to the intense relief of her mother. During her three minute conference no one in the study had ventured on speaking or stirring, and Mrs. Curtis would not thank her biographer for recording the wild alarms that careered through her brain, as to the object of her daughter’s tete-a-tete with the magistrate.
“Yes, I see,” admitted Rachel, and feeling overwhelmed, though far from satisfied, she let herself be led back and did what was expected of her, to her mother's great relief. During her three-minute meeting, no one in the study dared to speak or move, and Mrs. Curtis wouldn’t appreciate her biographer for noting the wild fears racing through her mind about the reason for her daughter’s private conversation with the magistrate.
It was over at last, and the hall of justice broke up. Mary Morris was at once in her mother’s arms, and in a few minutes more making up for all past privations by a substantial meal in the kitchen. But Mrs. Kelland had gone to Avoncester to purchase thread, and only her daughter Susan had come up, the girl who was supposed to be a sort of spider, with no capacities beyond her web. Nor did Rachel think Lovedy capable of walking down to Mackarel Lane, nor well enough for the comfortless chairs and the third part of a bed. No, Mr. Grey’s words that Rachel was accountable for the children’s sufferings had gone to her heart. Pity was there and indignation, but these had brought such an anguish of self-accusation as she could only appease by lavishing personal care upon the chief sufferer. She carried the child to her own sitting-room and made a couch for her before the fire, sending Susan away with the assurance that Lovedy should stay at the Homestead, and be nursed and fed till she was well and strong again. Fanny, who had accompanied her, thought the child very ill, and was urgent that the doctor should be sent for; but between Rachel and the faculty of Avonmouth there was a deadly feud, and the proposal was scouted. Hunger and a bad cold were easily treated, and maybe there was a spark of consolation in having a patient all to herself and her homoeopathic book.
It was finally over, and the courtroom dispersed. Mary Morris was immediately in her mother’s embrace and soon making up for all the missed meals with a hearty feast in the kitchen. But Mrs. Kelland had gone to Avoncester to buy thread, and only her daughter Susan, who was thought to be a bit useless, came along—like a spider with no skills beyond spinning webs. Rachel didn’t think Lovedy could manage the walk down to Mackarel Lane, nor was she well enough for the uncomfortable chairs and the small part of a bed. No, Mr. Grey’s remark that Rachel was responsible for the children's suffering struck deep. She felt both sympathy and anger, but it also caused her such pain of self-blame that she could only ease it by giving special care to the main sufferer. She took the child to her own sitting room and made a place for her by the fire, sending Susan away with the promise that Lovedy would stay at the Homestead and be cared for until she was well and strong again. Fanny, who had come along, thought the child looked very sick and insisted that a doctor should be called; however, there was a bitter rivalry between Rachel and the doctors in Avonmouth, and the idea was dismissed. A bad cold and hunger were easily managed, and perhaps there was some comfort in having a patient all to herself with her homeopathy book.
So Fanny and her two boys walked down the hill together in the dark. Colonel Keith and Alison Williams had already taken the same road, anxiously discussing the future. Alison asked why Colin had not given Mauleverer’s alias. “I had no proof,” he said. “You were sure of the woman, but so far it is only guess work with him; though each time Rose spoke of seeing Maddox coincided with one of Mauleverer’s visits. Besides, Alison, on the back of that etching in Rose’s book is written, Mrs. Williams, from her humble and obliged servant, R. Maddox.’”
So Fanny and her two boys walked down the hill together in the dark. Colonel Keith and Alison Williams had already taken the same path, anxiously discussing the future. Alison asked why Colin hadn't mentioned Mauleverer’s alias. “I had no proof,” he replied. “You were sure about the woman, but so far it’s only guesswork with him; yet each time Rose talked about seeing Maddox lined up with one of Mauleverer’s visits. Also, Alison, on the back of that etching in Rose’s book, it says, Mrs. Williams, from her humble and obliged servant, R. Maddox.”
“And you said nothing about it?”
“And you didn’t say anything about it?”
“No, I wished to make myself secure, and to see my way before speaking out.”
“No, I wanted to ensure my safety and understand my situation before speaking up.”
“What shall you do? Can you trust to Rose’s identifying him?”
“What are you going to do? Can you rely on Rose to recognize him?”
“I shall ride in to-morrow to see what is going on, and judge if it will be well to let her see this man, if he have not gone off, as I should fear was only too likely. Poor little Lady Temple, her exploit has precipitated matters.”
“I'll ride in tomorrow to see what's happening and decide if it’s a good idea for her to meet this guy, assuming he hasn’t left, which I’m worried might be too likely. Poor Lady Temple, her actions have really rushed things along.”
“And you will let every one, Dr. Long and all, know what a wretch they have believed. And then—”
“And you'll make sure everyone, Dr. Long and all, knows what a loser they’ve trusted. And then—”
“Stay, Alison, I am afraid they will not take Maddox’s subsequent guilt as a proof of Edward’s innocence.”
“Wait, Alison, I’m worried they won’t see Maddox’s later guilt as proof that Edward is innocent.”
“It is a proof that his stories were not worth credit.”
“It shows that his stories weren’t credible.”
“To you and me it is, who do not need such proof. It is possible that among his papers something may be found that may implicate him and clear Edward, but we can only hold off and watch. And I greatly fear both man and woman will have slipped through our fingers, especially if she knew you.”
“To you and me, it is unnecessary to have such proof. It's possible that among his papers, something could be found that implicates him and clears Edward, but all we can do is wait and see. I really worry that both the man and the woman will slip away from us, especially if she knows you.”
“Poor Maria, who could have thought of such frightful barbarity?” sighed Alison. “I knew she was a passionate girl, but this is worse than one can bear to believe.”
“Poor Maria, who could have imagined such terrible cruelty?” sighed Alison. “I knew she was an emotional girl, but this is more than anyone can stomach.”
She ceased, for she had been inexpressibly shocked, and her heart still yearned towards every Beauchamp school child.
She stopped, as she had been incredibly shocked, and her heart still ached for every Beauchamp school child.
“I suppose we must tell Ermine,” she added; “indeed, I know I could not help it.”
“I guess we have to tell Ermine,” she said; “actually, I know I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.”
“Nor I,” he said, smiling, “though there is only too much fear that nothing will come of it but disappointment. At least, she will tell us how to meet that.”
“Neither will I,” he said with a smile, “even though there is a good chance that it will only lead to disappointment. At least, she'll guide us on how to handle that.”
CHAPTER XIX. THE BREWST SHE BREWED.
“Unwisely, not ignobly, have I given.” Timon of Athens.
“Unwisely, not disgracefully, have I given.” Timon of Athens.
Under the circumstances of the Curtis family, no greater penance could have been devised than the solemn dinner party which had to take place only an hour after the investigation was closed. Grace in especial was nearly distracted between her desire to calm her mother and to comfort her sister, and the necessity of attending to the Grey family, who repaid themselves for their absence from the scene of action by a torrent of condolences and questions, whence poor Grace gathered to her horror and consternation that the neighbourhood already believed that a tenderer sentiment than philanthropy had begun to mingle in Rachel’s relations with the secretary of the F. U. E. E. Feeling it incumbent on the whole family to be as lively and indifferent as possible, Grace, having shut her friends into their rooms to perform their toilette, hurried to her sister, to find her so entirely engrossed with her patient as absolutely to have forgotten the dinner party. No wonder! She had had to hunt up a housemaid to make up a bed for Lovedy in a little room within her own, and the undressing and bathing of the poor child had revealed injuries even in a more painful state than those which had been shown to Mr. Grey, shocking emaciation, and most scanty garments. The child was almost torpid, and spoke very little. She was most unwilling to attempt to swallow; however, Rachel thought that some of her globules had gone down, and put much faith in them, and in warmth and sleep; but incessantly occupied, and absolutely sickened by the sight of the child’s hurts, she looked up with loathing at Grace’s entreaty that she would, dress for the dinner.
Given the situation with the Curtis family, nothing could have felt more like punishment than the formal dinner party that was set to happen just an hour after the investigation ended. Grace, in particular, was almost overwhelmed trying to calm her mother and comfort her sister while also dealing with the Grey family, who filled the air with a barrage of condolences and questions. From this, poor Grace realized with horror that the neighborhood already suspected there was a deeper connection than mere charity blossoming between Rachel and the secretary of the F. U. E. E. Feeling it was up to the whole family to appear cheerful and indifferent, Grace hurried to her sister after sending her friends to their rooms to get ready. She found Rachel completely focused on her patient, so deeply engaged that she had forgotten all about the dinner party. It was no surprise! Rachel had had to find a housemaid to set up a bed for Lovedy in a small room next to her own, and undressing and bathing the poor child had revealed injuries that were even more severe than those shown to Mr. Grey—disturbing emaciation and very little clothing. The child was almost unresponsive and spoke very little. She was extremely reluctant to try to swallow anything; however, Rachel hoped that some of her globules had gone down and placed a lot of faith in them, as well as in warmth and sleep. But constantly dealing with the sight of the child's injuries made her glance up at Grace with disgust at the request to get dressed for the dinner.
“Impossible,” she said.
"Not happening," she said.
“You must, Rachel dear; indeed, you must.”
“You have to, Rachel dear; really, you have to.”
“As if I could leave her.”
“As if I could just walk away from her.”
“Nay, Rachel, but if you would only send—”
“Nah, Rachel, but if you would just send—”
“Nonsense, Grace; if I can stay with her I can restore her far better than could an allopathist, who would not leave nature to herself. O Grace, why can’t you leave me in peace? Is it not bad enough without this?”
“Nonsense, Grace; if I can be with her, I can help her recover much better than any doctor who won't let nature take its course. Oh Grace, why can’t you just let me be? Isn’t it difficult enough without this?”
“Dear Rachel, I am very sorry; but if you did not come down to dinner, think of the talk it would make.”
“Dear Rachel, I'm really sorry; but if you don't come down to dinner, just think about the gossip it would cause.”
“Let them talk.”
"Let them say what they want."
“Ah, Rachel, but the mother! Think how dreadful the day’s work has been to her; and how can she ever get through the evening if she is in a fright at your not coming down?”
“Ah, Rachel, but the mother! Think how terrible the day’s work has been for her; and how can she get through the evening if she’s worried about you not coming down?”
“Dinner parties are one of the most barbarous institutions of past stupidity,” said Rachel, and Grace was reassured. She hovered over Rachel while Rachel hovered over the sick child, and between her own exertions and those of two maids, had put her sister into an evening dress by the time the first carriage arrived. She then rushed to her own room, made her own toilette, and returned to find Rachel in conference with Mrs. Kelland, who had come home at last, and was to sit with her niece during the dinner. Perhaps it was as well for all parties that this first interview was cut very short, but Rachel’s burning cheeks did not promise much for the impression of ease and indifference she was to make, as Grace’s whispered reminders of “the mother’s” distress dragged her down stairs among the all too curious glances of the assembled party.
“Dinner parties are one of the most ridiculous remnants of past ignorance,” said Rachel, and Grace felt better. She stayed close to Rachel while Rachel tended to the sick child, and with her own efforts and those of two maids, had dressed her sister in an evening gown by the time the first carriage showed up. She then hurried to her own room, got ready, and came back to find Rachel talking with Mrs. Kelland, who had finally returned and was going to sit with her niece during dinner. It was probably for the best that this first meeting was brief, but Rachel’s flushed cheeks didn’t bode well for the impression of ease and indifference she was supposed to convey, as Grace's whispered reminders of “the mother’s” distress pulled her down the stairs amidst the all too curious looks of the gathered guests.
All had been bustle. Not one moment for recollection had yet been Rachel’s. Mr. Grey’s words, “Accountable for all,” throbbed in her ears and echoed in her brain—the purple bruises, the red stripes, verging upon sores, were before her eyes, and the lights, the flowers, the people and their greetings, were like a dizzy mist. The space before dinner was happily but brief, and then, as last lady, she came in as a supernumerary on the other arm of Grace’s cavalier, and taking the only vacant chair, found herself between a squire and Captain Keith, who had duly been bestowed on Emily Grey.
Everything had been chaotic. Rachel hadn't had a moment to think. Mr. Grey’s words, “Accountable for all,” echoed in her ears and bounced around her mind—the purple bruises, the red stripes that almost looked like sores, were right in front of her, and the lights, the flowers, the people and their greetings felt like a dizzy haze. The time before dinner was short but enjoyable, and then, as the last lady, she entered as an extra on the other arm of Grace’s partner, and taking the only empty chair, found herself between a squire and Captain Keith, who had been assigned to Emily Grey.
Here there was a moment’s interval of quiet, for the squire was slightly deaf, and, moreover, regarded her as a little pert girl, not to be encouraged, while Captain Keith was resigned to the implied homage of the adorer of his cross; so that, though the buzz of talk and the clatter of knives and forks roared louder than it had ever seemed to do since she had been a child, listening from the outside, the immediate sense of hurry and confusion, and the impossibility of seeing or hearing anything plainly, began to diminish. She could not think, but she began to wonder whether any one knew what had happened; and, above all, she perfectly dreaded the quiet sting of her neighbour’s word and eye, in this consummation of his victory. If he glanced at her, she knew she could not bear it; and if he never spoke to her at all, it would be marked reprehension, which would be far better than sarcasm. He was evidently conscious of her presence; for when, in her insatiable thirst, she had drained her own supply of water, she found the little bottle quietly exchanged for that before him. It was far on in the dinner before Emily’s attention was claimed by the gentleman on her other hand, and then there was a space of silence before Captain Keith almost made Rachel start, by saying—
Here, there was a brief moment of quiet because the squire was a bit hard of hearing and saw her as a little cheeky girl not worth encouraging. Meanwhile, Captain Keith accepted the unspoken admiration from the one who admired his cross. Even though the chatter and the clinking of knives and forks were louder than ever since she had been a child, listening from the outside, the immediate sense of rush and chaos, along with the difficulty of seeing or hearing anything clearly, began to fade. She couldn’t think straight, but she started to wonder if anyone knew what had happened and, above all, she really dreaded the sharp look and word from her neighbor, now that he had achieved his victory. If he looked her way, she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle it, and if he didn’t say anything at all, it would be a clear sign of disapproval, which would be much better than sarcasm. He was clearly aware of her presence; when she, driven by her endless thirst, emptied her own water supply, she noticed the little bottle had quietly been replaced with one in front of him. It was a while into dinner before the gentleman on her other side managed to grab Emily’s attention, and then there was a pause before Captain Keith almost made Rachel jump by saying—
“This has come about far more painfully than could have been expected.”
“This has happened much more painfully than anyone could have anticipated.”
“I thought you would have triumphed,” she said.
“I thought you would have succeeded,” she said.
“No, indeed. I feel accountable for the introduction that my sister brought upon you.”
“No, definitely not. I feel responsible for the introduction that my sister made to you.”
“It was no fault of hers,” said Rachel, sadly.
“It wasn’t her fault,” Rachel said, sadly.
“I wish I could feel it so.”
“I wish I could feel that way.”
“That was a mere chance. The rest was my own doing.”
"That was just luck. The rest was all me."
“Aided and abetted by more than one looker-on.”
“Aided and supported by more than one observer.”
“No. It is I who am accountable,” she said, repeating Mr. Grey’s words.
“No. I am the one who is responsible,” she said, echoing Mr. Grey’s words.
“You accept the whole?”
"Do you accept the whole?"
It was his usual, cool, dry tone; but as she replied, “I must,” she involuntarily looked up, with a glance of entreaty to be spared, and she met those dark, grey, heavy-lidded eyes fixed on her with so much concern as almost to unnerve her.
It was his typical, calm, dry tone; but as she responded, “I must,” she accidentally looked up, her gaze pleading to be spared, and she found those dark, gray, droopy eyes locked on her with such concern that it almost unsettled her.
“You cannot,” he answered; “every bystander must rue the apathy that let you be so cruelly deceived, for want of exertion on their part.”
“You can’t,” he replied; “everyone watching should regret their inaction that allowed you to be so cruelly misled, due to their lack of effort.”
“Nay,” she said; “you tried to open my eyes. I think this would have come worse, but for this morning’s stroke.”
“Nah,” she said; “you tried to make me see. I think this would have turned out worse, if it weren't for this morning’s blow.”
“Thank you,” he said, earnestly.
“Thanks,” he said, earnestly.
“I daresay you know more than I have been able to understand,” she presently added; “it is like being in the middle of an explosion, without knowing what stands or falls.”
“I bet you know more than I can understand,” she then added; “it feels like being in the middle of an explosion, not knowing what’s standing or falling.”
“And lobster salad as an aggravation!” said he, as the dish successively persecuted them. “This dinner is hard on you.”
“And lobster salad as a hassle!” he said, as the dish continued to bother them. “This dinner is tough on you.”
“Very; but my mother would have been unhappy if I had stayed away. It is the leaving the poor child that grieves me. She is in a fearful state, between sore throat, starvation, and blows.”
“Definitely; but my mom would have been upset if I had stayed away. It’s the leaving the poor child that worries me. She’s in a terrible state, dealing with a sore throat, hunger, and beatings.”
The picture of the effect of the blows coming before Rachel at that moment, perilled her ability even to sit through the dinner; but her companion saw the suddening whitening of her cheek, and by a dexterous signal at once caused her glass to be filled. Habit was framing her lips to say something about never drinking wine; but somehow she felt a certain compulsion in his look, and her compliance restored her. She returned to the subject, saying, “But it was only the woman that was cruel.”
The image of the blows hitting Rachel at that moment made it hard for her to even sit through dinner; however, her companion noticed the sudden paleness in her face and discreetly had her glass filled. She was about to say something about never drinking wine out of habit, but there was something in his gaze that made her feel compelled to comply, and that helped her feel better. She went back to the topic, saying, “But it was only the woman who was cruel.”
“She had not her Sepoy face for nothing.”
“She didn't have her Sepoy face for no reason.”
“Did I hear that Miss Williams knew her?”
“Did I hear that Miss Williams knew her?”
“Yes, it seems she was a maid who had once been very cruel to little Rose Williams. The Colonel seems to think the discovery may have important consequences. I hardly know how.”
“Yes, it looks like she was a maid who had been really cruel to little Rose Williams. The Colonel thinks this discovery might lead to significant consequences. I'm not sure how, though.”
This conversation sent Rachel out of the dining-room more like herself than she had entered it; but she ran upstairs at once to Lovedy, and remained with her till disinterred by the desperate Grace, who could not see three people talking together without blushing with indignation at the construction they were certainly putting on her sister’s scarlet cheeks and absence from the drawing-room. With all Grace’s efforts, however, she could not bring her truant back before the gentlemen had come in. Captain Keith had seen their entrance, and soon came up to Rachel.
This conversation brought Rachel back to herself more than when she entered the dining room. However, she immediately dashed upstairs to Lovedy and stayed with her until the desperate Grace found them. Grace couldn’t stand to see three people talking together without feeling furious about what they might think of her sister's red cheeks and why she was missing from the drawing room. Despite all of Grace's efforts, she couldn't get her sister to come back before the men arrived. Captain Keith had noticed their entrance and soon approached Rachel.
“How is your patient?” he asked.
“How's your patient doing?” he asked.
“She is very ill; and the worst of it is, that it seems such agony to her to attempt to swallow.”
“She is really sick, and the worst part is that it seems to be such a struggle for her to even try to swallow.”
“Have you had advice for her?”
“Have you given her any advice?”
“No; I have often treated colds, and I thought this a case, aggravated by that wicked treatment.”
“No; I’ve treated colds many times, and I thought this was a case worsened by that terrible treatment.”
“Have you looked into her mouth?”
“Have you looked in her mouth?”
“Yes; the skin is frightfully brown and dry.”
“Yes, the skin is really dark and dry.”
He leant towards her, and asked, in an under tone—
He leaned toward her and asked in a low voice—
“Did you ever see diphtheria?”
“Have you ever seen diphtheria?”
“No!”—her brow contracting—“did you?”
“No!”—her brow furrowing—“really?”
“Yes; we had it through all the children of the regiment at Woolwich.”
“Yes, we got it through all the kids in the regiment at Woolwich.”
“You think this is it?”
"Is this really it?"
He asked a few more questions, and his impression was evidently confirmed.
He asked a few more questions, and it was clear that his impression was confirmed.
“I must send for Mr. Frampton,” said Rachel, homeopathy succumbing to her terror; but then, with a despairing glance, she beheld all the male part of the establishment handing tea.
“I need to call Mr. Frampton,” said Rachel, her interest in homeopathy fading in the face of her fear; but then, with a hopeless look, she saw all the men in the establishment serving tea.
“Where does he live? I’ll send him up.”
“Where does he live? I’ll send him up.”
“Thank you, oh! thank you. The house with the rails, under the east cliff.”
“Thank you, oh! thank you. The house with the railings, under the east cliff.”
He was gone, and Rachel endured the reeling of the lights, and the surges of talk, and the musical performances that seemed to burst the drum of her ear; and, after all, people went away, saying to each other that there was something very much amiss, and that poor dear Mrs. Curtis was very much to blame for not having controlled her daughters.
He was gone, and Rachel dealt with the flashing lights, the loud chatter, and the music that felt like it was pounding in her ears; meanwhile, people left, telling each other that something was seriously off, and that poor Mrs. Curtis was definitely at fault for not keeping her daughters in check.
They departed at last, and Grace, without uttering the terrible word, was explaining to the worn-out mother that little Lovedy was more unwell, and that Captain Keith had kindly offered to fetch the doctor, when the Captain himself returned.
They finally left, and Grace, without saying the awful word, was explaining to the exhausted mother that little Lovedy was feeling worse, and that Captain Keith had generously offered to get the doctor, when the Captain himself came back.
“I am sorry to say that Mr. Frampton is out, not likely to be at home till morning, and his partner is with a bad accident at Avonford. The best plan will be for me to ride back to Avoncester, and send out Macvicar, our doctor. He is a kind-hearted man, of much experience in this kind of thing.”
“I’m sorry to say that Mr. Frampton is out and probably won’t be home until morning. His partner is dealing with a bad accident in Avonford. The best plan would be for me to ride back to Avoncester and send out Macvicar, our doctor. He’s a kind-hearted man with a lot of experience in situations like this.”
“But you are not going back,” said polite Mrs. Curtis, far from taking in the urgency of the case. “You were to sleep at Colonel Keith’s. I could not think of your taking the trouble.”
“But you’re not going back,” said polite Mrs. Curtis, completely missing the urgency of the situation. “You were supposed to sleep at Colonel Keith’s. I couldn’t imagine you going through the trouble.”
“I have settled that with the Colonel, thank you. My dog-cart will be here directly.”
“I've sorted that out with the Colonel, thanks. My dog cart will be here soon.”
“I can only say, thank you,” said Rachel, earnestly. “But is there nothing to be done in the meantime? Do you know the treatment?”
“I can only say, thank you,” Rachel said earnestly. “But is there nothing that can be done in the meantime? Do you know the treatment?”
He knew enough to give a few directions, which revealed to poor Mrs. Curtis the character of the disease.
He knew enough to provide a few instructions, which betrayed to poor Mrs. Curtis the nature of the illness.
“That horrible new sore throat! Oh, Rachel, and you have been hanging over her all this time!”
“That awful new sore throat! Oh, Rachel, and you’ve been right there with her this whole time!”
“Indeed,” said Alick Keith, coming to her. “I think you need not be alarmed. The complaint seems to me to depend on the air and locality. I have been often with people who had it.”
“Absolutely,” said Alick Keith, approaching her. “I don’t think you need to worry. The issue appears to be related to the atmosphere and location. I’ve often been around people who had it.”
“And not caught it?”
"And didn't catch it?"
“No; though one poor little fellow, our piper’s son, would not try to take food from any one else, and died at last on my knee. I do not believe it is infectious in that way.”
“No; although one poor little guy, our piper’s son, wouldn’t take food from anyone else, and ended up dying in my lap. I don’t believe it’s contagious like that.”
And hearing his carriage at the door, he shook hands, and hurried off, Mrs. Curtis observing—
And when he heard his carriage arrive at the door, he shook hands and quickly left, Mrs. Curtis noticing—
“He really is a very good young man. But oh, Rachel, my dear, how could you bring her here?”
“He's truly a very good young man. But oh, Rachel, my dear, how could you bring her here?”
“I did not know, mother. Any way it is better than her being in Mrs. Kelland’s hive of children.”
“I didn’t know, Mom. Either way, it’s better than her being with Mrs. Kelland’s bunch of kids.”
“You are not going back to her, Rachel, I entreat!”
"You are not going back to her, Rachel, I'm begging you!"
“Mother, I must. You heard what Captain Keith said. Let that comfort you. It would be brutal cruelty and cowardice to stay away from her to night. Good night, Grace, make mother see that it must be so.”
“Mom, I have to. You heard what Captain Keith said. Let that make you feel better. It would be really cruel and cowardly to stay away from her tonight. Good night, Grace, help Mom understand that it has to be this way.”
She went, for poor Mrs. Curtis could not withstand her; and only turned with tearful eyes to her elder daughter to say, “You do not go into the room again, Grace, I insist.”
She went, because poor Mrs. Curtis couldn't resist her; and she only turned with teary eyes to her older daughter to say, “You are not going into the room again, Grace, I insist.”
Grace could not bear to leave Rachel to the misery of such a vigil, and greatly reproached herself for the hurry that had prevented her from paying any heed to the condition of the child in her anxiety to make her sister presentable; but Mrs. Curtis was in a state of agitation that demanded all the care and tenderness of this “mother’s child,” and the sharing her room and bed made it impossible to elude the watchfulness that nervously guarded the remaining daughter.
Grace couldn’t stand leaving Rachel to suffer through such a vigil, and she felt really guilty for rushing and not paying attention to the child’s condition out of anxiety to make her sister look good. But Mrs. Curtis was so worked up that she needed all the care and compassion from this “mother’s child,” and sharing her room and bed made it impossible to escape the nervous watchfulness that closely looked after the remaining daughter.
It was eleven o’clock when Alexander Keith drove from the door. It was a moonlight night, and he was sure to spare no speed, but he could hardly be at Avoncester within an hour and a half, and the doctor would take at least two in coming out. Mrs. Kelland was the companion of Rachel’s watch. The woman was a good deal subdued. The strangeness of the great house tamed her, and she was shocked and frightened by the little girl’s state as well as by the young lady’s grave, awe-struck, and silent manner.
It was eleven o’clock when Alexander Keith drove away from the door. It was a moonlit night, and he was determined to drive fast, but he could barely reach Avoncester in an hour and a half, and the doctor would take at least two hours to arrive. Mrs. Kelland was keeping Rachel company as she watched the time. The woman seemed quite subdued. The strange atmosphere of the large house unnerved her, and she was both shocked and frightened by the little girl's condition, as well as by the young lady's serious, awestruck, and quiet demeanor.
They tried all that Captain Keith had suggested, but the child was too weak and spent to inhale the steam of vinegar, and the attempts to make her swallow produced fruitless anguish. They could not discover how long it was since she had taken any nourishment, and they already knew what a miserable pittance hers had been at the best. Mrs. Kelland gave her up at once, and protested that she was following her mother, and that there was death in her face. Rachel made an imperious gesture of silence, and was obeyed so far as voice went, but long-drawn sighs and shakes of the head continued to impress on her the aunt’s hopelessness, throughout the endeavours to change the position, the moistening of the lips, the attempts at relief in answer to the choked effort to cough, the weary, faint moan, the increasing faintness and exhaustion.
They tried everything Captain Keith suggested, but the child was too weak and exhausted to breathe in the steam from the vinegar, and the efforts to get her to swallow only caused more pain. They couldn't tell how long it had been since she had eaten anything, and they already knew how little she had been able to eat at best. Mrs. Kelland gave up immediately, insisting that the child was following her mother and that there was death in her expression. Rachel made a commanding gesture for silence, and they kept quiet for the most part, but long, drawn-out sighs and shaken heads continued to convey the aunt’s hopelessness during the attempts to change her position, moisten her lips, provide relief in response to her choking cough, the tired, weak moan, and the growing faintness and exhaustion.
One o’clock struck, and Mrs. Kelland said, in a low, ominous voice, “It is the turn of the night, Miss Rachel. You bad best leave her to me.”
One o’clock struck, and Mrs. Kelland said in a low, ominous voice, “It’s the turn of the night, Miss Rachel. You’d better leave her to me.”
“I will never leave her,” said Rachel impatiently.
“I'll never leave her,” Rachel said impatiently.
“You are a young lady, Miss Rachel, you ain’t used to the like of this.”
“You're a young woman, Miss Rachel; you’re not used to this kind of thing.”
“Hark!” Rachel held up her finger.
“Hear this!” Rachel held up her finger.
Wheels were crashing up the hill. The horrible responsibility was over, the immediate terror gone, help seemed to be coming at the utmost speed, and tears of relief rushed into Rachel’s eyes, tears that Lovedy must have perceived, for she spoke the first articulate words she had uttered since the night-watch had begun, “Please, ma’am, don’t fret, I’m going to poor mother.”
Wheels were racing up the hill. The awful burden was lifted, the immediate fear was gone, help seemed to be arriving at top speed, and tears of relief filled Rachel’s eyes, tears that Lovedy must have noticed, because she finally spoke the first clear words she had said since the night watch had started, “Please, ma’am, don’t worry, I’m going to our poor mother.”
“You will be better now, Lovedy, here is the doctor,” said Rachel, though conscious that this was not the right thing, and then she hastened out on the stairs to meet the gaunt old Scotsman and bring him in. He made Mrs. Kelland raise the child, examined her mouth, felt her feet and hands, which were fast becoming chill, and desired the warm flannels still to be applied to them.
“You’ll feel better now, Lovedy, the doctor is here,” Rachel said, knowing that wasn’t quite right, and then she quickly rushed down the stairs to greet the thin old Scotsman and bring him inside. He asked Mrs. Kelland to lift the child, checked her mouth, felt her hands and feet, which were getting cold, and instructed that warm flannels should still be applied to them.
“Cannot her throat be operated on?” said Rachel, a tremor within her heart. “I think we could both be depended on if you wanted us.”
“Can’t her throat be operated on?” Rachel said, a tremor in her heart. “I think we could both be relied on if you wanted us.”
“She is too far gone, poor lassie,” was the answer; “it would be mere cruelty to torment her. You had better go and lie down, Miss Curtis; her mother and I can do all she is like to need.”
“She is too far gone, poor girl,” was the response; “it would be just cruel to torment her. You should go lie down, Miss Curtis; her mother and I can take care of everything she might need.”
“Is she dying?”
“Is she okay?”
“I doubt if she can last an hour longer. The disease is in an advanced state, and she was in too reduced a state to have battled with it, even had it been met earlier.”
“I don’t think she can make it another hour. The disease is very advanced, and she was in too weak a condition to fight it, even if it had been confronted earlier.”
“As it should have been! Twice her destroyer!” sighed Rachel, with a bursting heart, and again the kind doctor would have persuaded her to leave the room, but she turned from him and came back to Lovedy, who had been roused by what had been passing, and had been murmuring something which had set her aunt off into sobs.
“As it should have been! Twice her destroyer!” sighed Rachel, her heart breaking, and once again the kind doctor tried to convince her to leave the room, but she turned away from him and returned to Lovedy, who had been awakened by what was happening and had been murmuring something that caused her aunt to start sobbing.
“She’s saying she’ve been a bad girl to me, poor lamb, and I tell her not to think of it! She knows it was for her good, if she had not been set against her work.”
“She’s saying she’s been a bad girl to me, poor thing, and I tell her not to think about it! She knows it was for her own good, if she hadn’t been so resistant to her work.”
Dr. Macvicar authoritatively hushed the woman, but Lovedy looked up with flushed cheeks, and the blue eyes that had been so often noticed for their beauty. The last flush of fever had come to finish the work.
Dr. Macvicar firmly silenced the woman, but Lovedy looked up with rosy cheeks and the blue eyes that had often been admired for their beauty. The final flush of fever had come to complete the effect.
“Don’t fret,” she said, “there’s no one to beat me up there! Please, the verse about the tears.”
“Don’t worry,” she said, “there’s no one to mess with me up there! Please, the verse about the tears.”
Dr. Macvicar and the child both looked towards Rachel, but her whole memory seemed scared away, and it was the old Scotch army surgeon that repeated—
Dr. Macvicar and the child both looked at Rachel, but her entire memory seemed to have vanished, and it was the old Scottish army surgeon who repeated—
“‘The Lord God shall wipe off tears from all eyes.’ Ah! poor little one, you are going from a world that has been full of woe to you.”
“‘The Lord God will wipe away tears from everyone’s eyes.’ Ah! poor little one, you are leaving a world that has been full of sorrow for you.”
“Oh, forgive me, forgive me, my poor child,” said Rachel, kneeling by her, the tears streaming down silently.
“Oh, please forgive me, forgive me, my poor child,” said Rachel, kneeling by her, the tears streaming down silently.
“Please, ma’am, don’t cry,” said the little girl feebly; “you were very good to me. Please tell me of my Saviour,” she added to Rachel. It sounded like set phraseology, and she knew not how to begin; but Dr. Macvicar’s answer made the lightened look come back, and the child was again heard to whisper—“Ah! I knew they scourged Him—for me.”
“Please, ma’am, don’t cry,” said the little girl weakly; “you were really kind to me. Please tell me about my Savior,” she said to Rachel. It felt like a rehearsed line, and she didn’t know how to start; but Dr. Macvicar’s reply brought back a look of hope, and the child was heard to whisper again—“Ah! I knew they whipped Him—for me.”
This was the last they did hear, except the sobbing breaths, ever more convulsive. Rachel had never before been present with death, and awe and dismay seemed to paralyse her whole frame. Even the words of hope and prayer for which the child’s eyes craved from both her fellow-watchers seemed to her a strange tongue, inefficient to reach the misery of this untimely mortal agony, this work of neglect and cruelty—and she the cause.
This was the last they heard, except for the sobbing breaths, becoming increasingly convulsive. Rachel had never witnessed death before, and a mix of awe and shock seemed to paralyze her entire body. Even the words of hope and prayer that the child’s eyes sought from the other watchers felt foreign to her, unable to touch the deep misery of this untimely suffering, this result of neglect and cruelty—and she was the cause.
Three o’clock had struck before the last painful gasp had been drawn, and Mrs. Kelland’s sobbing cry broke forth. Dr. Macvicar told Rachel that the child was at rest. She shivered from head to foot, her teeth chattered, and she murmured, “Accountable for all.”
Three o'clock had struck before the last painful breath was taken, and Mrs. Kelland's sobs erupted. Dr. Macvicar told Rachel that the child was at peace. She trembled all over, her teeth chattering, and she whispered, "Accountable for all."
Dr. Macvicar at once made her swallow some of the cordial brought for the poor child, and then summoning the maid whom Grace had stationed in the outer room, he desired her to put her young mistress to bed without loss of time. The sole remaining desire of which she was conscious was to be alone and in the dark, and she passively submitted.
Dr. Macvicar immediately had her take some of the tonic brought for the poor child, and then, calling in the maid that Grace had posted in the outer room, he instructed her to help her young mistress get to bed right away. The only thing she felt was the need to be alone and in the dark, and she quietly agreed.
CHAPTER XX. THE SARACEN’S HEAD.
“Alas, he thought, how changed that mien, How changed those timid looks have been, Since years of guilt and of disguise Have steeled her brow and armed her eyes.” Marmion.
“Alas, he thought, how changed her expression, How changed those once-timid looks, Since years of guilt and disguise Have hardened her brow and sharpened her eyes.” Marmion.
“Are you sleepy, Rose? What a yawn!”
“Are you tired, Rose? What a big yawn!”
“Not sleepy, Aunt Ailie; only it is such a tiresome long day when the Colonel does not come in.”
“Not sleepy, Aunt Ailie; it’s just that it feels like a really long day when the Colonel doesn’t come in.”
“Take care, Rosie; I don’t know what we shall be good for at this rate.”
“Take care, Rosie; I don’t know what we’ll be good for at this rate.”
“We? O Aunt Ermine, then you think it tiresome too. I know you do—”
“We? Oh, Aunt Ermine, so you find it boring too. I know you do—”
“What’s that, Rose!”
"What's that, Rose!"
“It is! it is! I’ll open the door for him.”
“It is! It is! I’ll open the door for him.”
The next moment Rose led her Colonel in triumph into the lamp-light. There was a bright light in his eye, and yet he looked pale, grave, and worn; and Ermine’s first observation was—
The next moment, Rose brought her Colonel triumphantly into the lamp light. There was a spark in his eye, but he looked pale, serious, and tired; and Ermine’s first observation was—
“How came Tibbie to let you out at this time of night?”
“How did Tibbie let you out at this time of night?”
“I have not ventured to encounter Tibbie at all. I drove up to your door.”
“I haven't dared to meet Tibbie at all. I drove up to your house.”
“You have been at St. Norbert’s all this time,” exclaimed Alison.
“You’ve been at St. Norbert’s this whole time,” exclaimed Alison.
“Do you think no one can carry on a campaign at St. Norbert’s but yourself and your generalissima, Miss Ailie?” he said, stroking down Rose’s brown hair.
“Do you really think that only you and your general, Miss Ailie, can run a campaign at St. Norbert’s?” he said, running his hand through Rose’s brown hair.
“Then, if you have not gone home, you have had nothing to eat, and that is the reason you look so tired,” said Ermine.
“Then, if you haven't gone home, you haven't eaten anything, and that’s why you look so tired,” said Ermine.
“Yes; I had some luncheon at the Abbey.”
“Yes; I had lunch at the Abbey.”
“Then, at any rate, you shall have some tea. Rosie, run and fetch the little kettle.”
“Alright, then, you’re getting some tea. Rosie, go grab the little kettle.”
“And the Beauchamp cup and saucer,” added Rose, proudly producing the single relic of a well-remembered set of olden times. “And please, please, Aunt Ermine, let me sit up to make it for him. I have not seen him all day, you know; and it is the first time he ever drank tea in our house, except make-believe with Violetta and Colinette.”
“And the Beauchamp cup and saucer,” added Rose, proudly showing the only piece left from a fondly remembered set from the past. “And please, Aunt Ermine, let me stay up to make it for him. I haven’t seen him all day, you know; and it’s the first time he’s ever had tea in our house, except for pretend with Violetta and Colinette.”
“No, Rose. Your aunt says I spoil that child, and I am going to have my revenge upon you. You must see the wild beast at his meals another time; for it just happens that I have a good deal to say to your aunts, and it is not intended for your ears.”
“No, Rose. Your aunt says I spoil that kid, and I'm going to get back at you for it. You’ll have to see the little monster during meals another time; because it turns out I have a lot to discuss with your aunts, and it’s not meant for you to hear.”
Rose showed no signs of being spoilt, for she only entreated to be allowed “just to put the tea-things in order,” and then, winking very hard, she said she would go.
Rose didn't seem spoiled at all; she just asked to be allowed to "just put the tea things in order," and then, winking really hard, she said she would go.
“Here, Rose, if you please,” said Ermine, clearing the space of table before her.
“Here you go, Rose,” said Ermine, clearing the table space in front of her.
“Why, Aunt Ermine, I did not know you could make tea!”
“Wow, Aunt Ermine, I didn’t know you could make tea!”
“There are such things as extraordinary occasions, Rose. Now, good night, my sweet one.”
“There are extraordinary occasions, Rose. Now, good night, my dear.”
“Good night, my Lady Discretion. We will make up for it one of these days. Don’t stay away, pray, Ailie,” as Alison was following the child. “I have nothing to say till you come back.”
“Good night, my Lady Discretion. We’ll make up for it one of these days. Don’t stay away, please, Ailie,” as Alison was following the child. “I have nothing to say until you come back.”
“I know it is good news,” said Ermine; “but it has cost you something, Colin.”
“I know it’s good news,” said Ermine, “but it’s come at a cost for you, Colin.”
Instead of answering, he received his cup from her, filled up her tea-pot, and said—
Instead of answering, he took his cup from her, filled her teapot, and said—
“How long is it since you poured out tea for me, Ermine?”
“How long has it been since you poured me some tea, Ermine?”
“Thirteen years next June, when you and Harry used to come in from the cricket field, so late and hot that you were ashamed to present yourself in civilized society at the Great House.”
“Next June, it will be thirteen years since you and Harry used to come in from the cricket field, so late and hot that you felt embarrassed to show yourselves in polite society at the Great House.”
“As if nobody from the Parsonage ever came down to look on at the cricket.”
“As if no one from the Parsonage ever came down to watch the cricket.”
“Yes; being summoned by all the boys to see that nothing would teach a Scotchman cricket.”
“Yes; all the boys called me over to show that nothing would teach a Scotsman cricket.”
“Ah! you have got the last word, for here comes Ailie.”
“Ah! you’ve got the last word, because here comes Ailie.”
“Of course,” said Alison, coming in; “Ermine has had the pith of the story, so I had better ask at once what it is.”
“Of course,” said Alison, walking in; “Ermine has already gotten to the heart of the story, so I should just ask what it is right away.”
“That the Beauchamp Eleven beat Her Majesty’s —th Foot on Midsummer Day, 1846, is the pith of what I have as yet heard,” said Ermine.
“Honestly, the most important thing I’ve heard so far is that the Beauchamp Eleven beat Her Majesty’s —th Foot on Midsummer Day, 1846,” said Ermine.
“And that Beauchamp ladies are every whit as full of mischief as they used to be in those days, is the sum of what I have told,” added Colin.
“And those Beauchamp ladies are just as full of mischief as they were back in those days, which is the gist of what I've said,” added Colin.
“Yes,” said Ermine, “he has most loyally kept his word of reserving all for you. He has not even said whether Mauleverer is taken.”
“Yes,” said Ermine, “he has kept his promise to reserve everything for you. He hasn’t even mentioned whether Mauleverer has been captured.”
“My story is grave and sad enough,” said Colin, laying aside all his playfulness, and a serious expression coming over his features; but, at the same time, the landlady’s sandy cat, which, like all other animals, was very fond of him, and had established herself on his knee as soon as Rose had left it vacant, was receiving a certain firm, hard, caressing stroking, which resulted in vehement purrs on her part, and was evidently an outlet of suppressed exaltation.
“My story is pretty serious and sad,” Colin said, putting aside his playful mood, and a serious look came over his face; meanwhile, the landlady’s sandy cat, which, like all animals, really liked him, had settled onto his lap as soon as Rose left it empty and was getting a firm, loving stroke that made her purr loudly, clearly a release of her pent-up excitement.
“Is he the same?” asked Alison.
“Is he the same?” Alison asked.
“All in due time; unless, like Miss Rachel, you wish to tell me my story yourselves. By-the-bye, how is that poor girl to-day?”
“All in good time; unless, like Miss Rachel, you want to tell me my story yourselves. By the way, how is that poor girl today?”
“Thoroughly knocked down. There is a sort of feverish lassitude about her that makes them very anxious. They were hoping to persuade her to see Mr. Frampton when Lady Temple heard last.”
“Completely worn out. There’s a kind of restless exhaustion about her that makes them really worried. They were hoping to convince her to meet with Mr. Frampton when Lady Temple last heard.”
“Poor thing! it has been a sad affair for her. Well, I told you I should go over this morning and see Mr. Grey, and judge if anything could be done. I got to the Abbey at about eleven o’clock, and found the policeman had just come back after serving the summons, with the news that Mauleverer was gone.”
“Poor thing! It's been a tough situation for her. Well, I mentioned that I would head over this morning to see Mr. Grey and see if anything could be done. I arrived at the Abbey around eleven o'clock and discovered that the policeman had just returned after delivering the summons, with the news that Mauleverer was gone.”
“Gone!”
"All gone!"
“Clean gone! Absconded from his lodgings, and left no traces behind him. But, as to the poor woman, the policeman reported that she had been left in terrible distress, with the child extremely ill, and not a penny, not a thing to eat in the house. He came back to ask Mr. Grey what was to be done; and as the suspicion of diphtheria made every one inclined to fight shy of the house, I thought I had better go down and see what was to be done. I knocked a good while in vain; but at last she looked out of window, and I told her I only wanted to know what could be done for her child, and would send a doctor. Then she told me how to open the door. Poor thing! I found her the picture of desolation, in the midst of the dreary kitchen, with the child gasping on her lap; all the pretence of widowhood gone, and her hair hanging loose about her face, which was quite white with hunger, and her great eyes looked wild, like the glare of a wild beast’s in a den. I spoke to her by her own name, and she started and trembled, and said, ‘Did Miss Alison tell you?’ I said, ‘Yes,’ and explained who I was, and she caught me up half way: ‘O yes, yes, my lady’s nephew, that was engaged to Miss Ermine!’ And she looked me full and searchingly in the face, Ermine, when I answered ‘Yes.’ Then she almost sobbed, ‘And you are true to her;’ and put her hands over her face in an agony. It was a very strange examination on one’s constancy, and I put an end to it by asking if she had any friends at home that I could write to for her; but she cast that notion from her fiercely, and said she had no friend, no one. He had left her to her fate, because the child was too ill to be moved. And indeed the poor child was in such a state that there was no thinking of anything else, and I went at once to find a doctor and a nurse.”
“Completely gone! He vanished from his place and left no traces behind. But as for the poor woman, the policeman reported that she was in terrible distress, with the child very ill and not a single penny or anything to eat in the house. He returned to ask Mr. Grey what should be done, and since everyone was hesitant to approach the house due to concerns about diphtheria, I thought it best to go down and see what could be done. I knocked for quite some time without success, but eventually, she looked out the window, and I told her I only wanted to know how I could help her child and that I would send a doctor. She then told me how to open the door. Poor thing! I found her in utter desolation, sitting in the dreary kitchen, with the child gasping on her lap; all the pretense of widowhood was gone, her hair loose around her face, which was completely white from hunger, and her large eyes looked wild, like the glare of a wild animal in a den. I spoke to her by her name, and she flinched and trembled, asking, ‘Did Miss Alison tell you?’ I replied, ‘Yes,’ and explained who I was, and she interrupted me halfway through: ‘Oh yes, yes, my lady’s nephew, who was engaged to Miss Ermine!’ She locked eyes with me, Ermine, when I confirmed, ‘Yes.’ Then she nearly sobbed, ‘And you are true to her,’ and covered her face with her hands in anguish. It was a very strange way to test one’s loyalty, and I ended it by asking if she had any friends I could write to for her; but she fiercely rejected that idea, saying she had no friends, no one. He had left her to face this alone, as the child was too sick to be moved. Indeed, the poor child was in such a condition that there was no thinking of anything else, and I immediately went to find a doctor and a nurse.”
“Diphtheria again?”
“Diphtheria again?”
“Yes; and she, poor thing, was in no state to give it the resolute care that is the only chance. Doctors could be easily found, but I was at my wit’s end for a nurse, till I remembered that Mr. Mitchell had told me of a Sisterhood that have a Home at St. Norbert’s, with a nursing establishment attached to it. So, in despair, I went there, and begged to see the Superior, and a most kind and sensible lady I found her, ready to do anything helpful. She lent me a nice little Sister, rather young, I thought; but who turned out thoroughly efficient, nearly as good as a doctor. Still, whether the child lives is very doubtful, though the mother was full of hope when I went in last. She insisted that I had saved it, when both she and it had been deserted by Maddox, for whom she had given up everything.”
“Yes; and she, poor thing, was not in any condition to provide the strong care that was their only hope. Doctors were easy to find, but I was completely at a loss for a nurse until I remembered that Mr. Mitchell had mentioned a Sisterhood that operates a Home at St. Norbert’s, which has a nursing program. So, in desperation, I went there and asked to speak with the Superior, and I found her to be a very kind and sensible lady, willing to help in any way she could. She lent me a nice young Sister, who I thought was a bit inexperienced, but she turned out to be very capable, almost as good as a doctor. Still, whether the child will survive is very uncertain, even though the mother was full of hope when I visited last. She insisted that I had saved it, when both she and the baby had been abandoned by Maddox, for whom she had sacrificed everything.”
“Then she owned that he was Maddox?”
“Then she admitted that he was Maddox?”
“She called him so, without my even putting the question to her. She had played his game long enough; and now his desertion has evidently put an end to all her regard for him. It was confusedly and shortly told; the child was in a state that prevented attention being given to anything else; but she knows that she had been made a tool of to ruin her master and you, and the sight of you, Ailie, had evidently stirred up much old affection, and remembrance of better days.”
“She referred to him that way without me even asking her. She had played his game for too long; now his abandonment has clearly ended all her feelings for him. It was told in a jumbled and brief way; the child was in such a state that nothing else could be focused on; but she realizes she had been used as a pawn to ruin her master and you, and seeing you, Ailie, clearly brought back a lot of old feelings and memories of better times.”
“Is she his wife?”
“Is she his spouse?”
“No, or the evidence she promises could not be used against him. Do you know this, Ermine?” as he gave her a cover, with a seal upon it.
“No, or the evidence she promises couldn't be used against him. Do you know this, Ermine?” he said as he handed her a cover with a seal on it.
“The Saracen! the Saracen’s head, Colin; it was made with the lost seal-ring!”
“The Saracen! The Saracen's head, Colin; it was made with the lost seal ring!”
“The ring was taken from Edward’s dressing-room the night when Rose was frightened with the phosphorus. Maria declares that she did not suspect the theft, or Maddox’s purpose, till long after she had left her place. He effected his practices under pretence of attachment to her, and then could not shake her off. She went abroad with him after the settlement of affairs; but he could not keep out of gambling speculation, and lost everything. Then he seems to have larked about, obtaining means she knew not how—as artist, lecturer, and what not—till the notable F. U. E. E. was started. Most likely he would have collected the subscriptions and made off with them, if Rachel Curtis had not had just sense enough to trust him with nothing without seeing some result, so that he was forced to set the affair going with Maria at its head, as the only person who could co-operate with him. They kept themselves ready for a start whenever there should be symptoms of a discovery, but, in the meantime, he gambled away all that he got into his hands, and never gave her enough to feed the children. Thus she was absolutely driven to force work from them for subsistence; and she is a passionate creature, whom jealousy embittered more and more, so that she became more savage than she knew. Poor thing! She has her punishment. Maddox only came home, yesterday, too late for any train before the mail, and by that time the child was too ill to be moved. He must have thought it all up with him, and wished to be rid of both, for they quarrelled, and he left her to her misery.”
“The ring was taken from Edward’s dressing room the night Rose was scared by the phosphorus. Maria says she didn’t suspect the theft or Maddox’s intentions until long after she had left her job. He manipulated her under the guise of affection and then couldn’t get rid of her. She traveled abroad with him after sorting out their affairs, but he couldn’t stay away from gambling and lost everything. After that, he seemed to drift around, finding ways to make money that she didn’t understand—as an artist, lecturer, and so on—until the notable F. U. E. E. was launched. Most likely, he would have collected the subscriptions and disappeared if Rachel Curtis hadn’t had enough sense to not trust him without seeing results, which forced him to get the project going with Maria in charge, as she was the only one who could work with him. They stayed ready to bolt whenever it seemed like they were about to be discovered, but in the meantime, he gambled away everything he got and never gave her enough to feed the kids. This left her completely desperate, forcing her to make the children work for their survival; she is an intense person, made even more bitter by jealousy, which turned her more savage than she realized. Poor thing! She is suffering the consequences. Maddox came home just yesterday, too late for any train before the mail, and by then the child was too sick to be moved. He must have thought it all through and wished to escape from both of them, because they fought, and he left her in her misery.”
“What, gone?”
“Wait, they're gone?”
“Yes, but she told us of his haunts—haunts that he thought she did not know—a fancy shop, kept by a Mrs. Dench at Bristol, where it seems that he plays the philanthropical lecturer, and probably has been trying to secure a snug berth for himself unknown, as he thought, to Maria; but she pried into his letters, and kept a keen watch upon him. He was to be inquired for there by his Mauleverer name, and, I have little doubt, will be captured.”
“Yes, but she told us about his usual spots—places he thought she didn’t know about—a fancy shop run by a Mrs. Dench in Bristol, where it seems he acts as a charitable speaker, probably trying to land a cozy job for himself without Maria knowing. But she snooped through his letters and kept a close eye on him. He was supposed to be asked for there using his Mauleverer name, and I have no doubt he’ll be caught.”
“And then?”
"What's next?"
“He will be committed for trial at the sessions; and, in the meantime, I must see Beauchamp and Dr. Long, and arrange that he should be prosecuted for the forgery, even though he should slip through our fingers at the sessions.”
“He will be brought to trial at the sessions; and in the meantime, I need to meet with Beauchamp and Dr. Long, and make sure he’s prosecuted for the forgery, even if he manages to get away from us at the sessions.”
“Oh, could that be?”
“Oh, could that be true?”
“This Clever Woman has managed matters so sweetly, that they might just as well try her as him for obtaining money on false pretences; and the man seems to have been wonderfully sharp in avoiding committing himself. Mrs. Curtis’s man of business has been trying all day to get up the case, but he has made out nothing but a few more debts such as that which turned up yesterday; and it is very doubtful how far a case can be made out against him.”
“This clever woman has handled things so well that they might as well try her as him for getting money through deception; and the man seems to have been very clever in avoiding any bind. Mrs. Curtis’s business manager has been trying all day to build a case, but he has only uncovered a few more debts like the one that came up yesterday; and it’s very uncertain how much of a case can be made against him.”
“And then we should lose him.”
“And then we should lose him.”
“That is exactly what I wish to avoid. I want to bring up my forces at once, and have him laid hold of at once for the forgery of those letters of Edward’s. How long would it take to hear from Ekaterinburg? I suppose Edward could travel as fast as a letter.”
“That is exactly what I want to avoid. I want to mobilize my forces immediately and have him arrested right away for forging those letters from Edward. How long would it take to get a response from Ekaterinburg? I assume Edward could travel as fast as a letter.”
Alison fairly sprang to her feet.
Alison got to her feet.
“O, Colin, Colin! you do not think that Edward would be here by the next sessions.”
“O, Colin, Colin! You don’t think that Edward would be here by the next sessions.”
“He ought,” said Colin. “I hope to induce Dr. Long and Harry to write him such letters as to bring him home at once.”
“He should,” said Colin. “I hope to convince Dr. Long and Harry to write him letters that will get him home right away.”
Self-restrained Alison was fairly overcome. She stretched out both hands, pressed Colin’s convulsively, then turned away her face, and, bursting into tears, ran out of the room.
Self-controlled Alison was pretty overwhelmed. She reached out with both hands, gripped Colin’s tightly, then turned her face away and, breaking into tears, ran out of the room.
“Poor dear Ailie,” said Ermine; “she has suffered terribly. Her heart is full of Edward. Oh, I hope he will come.”
“Poor dear Ailie,” said Ermine; “she has suffered a lot. Her heart is full of Edward. Oh, I hope he comes.”
“He must. He cannot be so senseless as to stay away.”
“He has to. He can’t be so clueless as to stay away.”
“There is that unfortunate promise to his wife; and I fear that he is become so much estranged from English ways that he will hardly care to set himself straight here, after the pain that the universal suspicion gave him.”
“There’s that unfortunate promise to his wife, and I worry that he’s become so disconnected from English customs that he probably won’t want to make things right here, after the hurt that the widespread suspicion caused him.”
“He cannot but care. For the sake of all he must care,” vehemently repeated Colin, with the punctilious honour of the nobly-born soldier. “For his child’s sake, this would be enough to bring him from his grave. If he refused to return to the investigation, it would be almost enough to make me doubt him.”
“He can't help but care. For everyone’s sake, he has to care,” Colin insisted passionately, with the strict honor of a noble-born soldier. “For the sake of his child, this would be enough to bring him back from the dead. If he refused to get back into the investigation, it would almost be enough to make me question him.”
“I am glad you said almost,” said Ermine, trying to smile; but he had absolutely brought tears into her eyes.
“I’m glad you said almost,” Ermine said, trying to smile; but he had completely brought tears to her eyes.
“Dear Ermine,” he said, gently, “you need not fear my not trusting him to the utmost. I know that he has been too much crushed to revive easily, and that it may not be easy to make him appreciate our hopes from such a distance; but I think such a summons as this must bring him.”
“Dear Ermine,” he said softly, “you don’t have to worry about my trust in him. I know he’s been through a lot and it won’t be easy for him to bounce back, and that it might be tough for him to see our hopes from so far away; but I believe a message like this will reach him.”
“I hope it will,” said Ermine. “Otherwise we should not deserve that you should have any more to do with us.”
“I hope so,” said Ermine. “Otherwise, we don’t deserve for you to have anything more to do with us.”
“Ermine, Ermine, do you not know that nothing can make any difference between us?”
“Ermine, Ermine, don’t you know that nothing can change what we have between us?”
Ermine had collected herself while he spoke.
Ermine had gathered herself while he spoke.
“I know,” she said, “that all you are doing makes me thank and bless you—oh! more than I can speak.”
“I know,” she said, “that everything you're doing makes me grateful and appreciate you—oh! more than I can express.”
He looked wistfully at her, but, tearful as were her eyes, there was a resolution, about her face that impressed upon him that she trusted to his promise of recurring no more within the year to the subject so near his heart; and he could say no more than, “You forgive me, Ermine, you know I trust him as you do.”
He gazed at her with a sense of longing, but despite the tears in her eyes, there was a determination in her expression that made him feel she believed in his promise not to bring up the topic that meant so much to him for the rest of the year; he could only say, “You forgive me, Ermine. You know I trust him just like you do.”
“I look to your setting him above being only trusted,” said Ermine, trying to smile. “Oh! if you knew what this ray of hope is in the dreary darkness that has lasted so long!”
“I see you putting him above just being trusted,” said Ermine, attempting to smile. “Oh! if you only knew how much this spark of hope means in the long, dreary darkness!”
Therewith he was obliged to leave her, and she only saw him for a few minutes in the morning, when he hurried in to take leave, since, if matters went right at the magistrates’ bench, he intended to proceed at once to make such representations in person to Mr. Beauchamp and Dr. Long, as might induce them to send an urgent recall to Edward in time for the spring sessions, and for this no time must be lost. Ermine remained then alone with Rose, feeling the day strangely long and lonely, and that, perhaps, its flatness might be a preparation for the extinction of all the brightness that had of late come into her life. Colin had said he would trust as she did, but those words had made her aware that she must trust as he did. If he, with his clear sense and kindly insight into Edward’s character, became convinced that his absence proceeded from anything worse than the mere fainthearted indifference that would not wipe off a blot, then Ermine felt that his judgment would carry her own along with it, and that she should lose her undoubting faith in her brother’s perfect innocence, and in that case her mind was made up; Colin might say and do what he would, but she would never connect him through herself with deserved disgrace. The parting, after these months of intercourse and increased knowlege of one another, would be infinitely more wretched than the first; but, cost her what it would—her life perhaps—the break should be made rather than let his untainted name be linked with one where dishonour justly rested. But with her constant principle of abstinence from dwelling on contingencies, she strove to turn away her mind, and to exert herself; though this was no easy task, especially on so solitary a day as this, while Alison was in charge at Myrtlewood in Lady Temple’s absence, and Rachel Curtis was reported far too ill to leave her room, so that Ermine saw no one all day except her constant little companion; nor was it till towards evening that Alison at length made her appearance, bringing a note which Colin had sent home by Lady Temple.
He had to leave her, and she only saw him for a few minutes in the morning when he rushed in to say goodbye, because if things went well at the magistrates’ bench, he planned to immediately present his case to Mr. Beauchamp and Dr. Long, hoping they would urgently recall Edward in time for the spring sessions. Time was critical for that. Ermine was then left alone with Rose, feeling the day unusually long and lonely, wondering if its dullness might be a sign of all the happiness that had recently come into her life fading away. Colin had said he would trust like she did, but his words made her realize she needed to trust as he did. If he, with his clear judgment and thoughtful understanding of Edward’s character, believed that Edward's absence was due to anything worse than simple cowardice that wouldn’t remove a stain, then Ermine knew his opinion would sway her own. She would lose her unwavering belief in her brother's complete innocence, and if that happened, she had already made up her mind; Colin could say and do whatever he wanted, but she would never connect him to any deserved disgrace. The parting, after months of closeness and deeper understanding of each other, would be far more painful than the first; but no matter the cost—perhaps her life—she would rather endure the break than let his unblemished name be associated with one that deserved dishonor. However, with her usual principle of not dwelling on what-ifs, she tried to distract herself and keep busy, though that was not easy, especially on such a lonely day when Alison was in charge at Myrtlewood in Lady Temple’s absence, and Rachel Curtis was too ill to leave her room. This meant Ermine saw no one all day except her little companion; it wasn’t until evening that Alison finally showed up with a note Colin had sent home with Lady Temple.
All had so far gone well. Maria Hatherton had been committed to take her trial at the quarter sessions for the assault upon the children; but, as her own little girl was still living, though in extreme danger, and the Sisters promised to take charge of both for the present, Colonel Keith had thought it only common humanity to offer bail, and this had been accepted. Later in the day Mauleverer himself had been brought down, having been taken up at a grand meeting of his Bristol friends, who had all rallied round him, expressing strong indignation at the accusation, and offering evidence as to character. He denied any knowledge of the name of Maddox, and declared that he was able to prove that his own account of himself as a popular, philanthropical lecturer was perfectly correct; and he professed to be much amazed at the charges brought against him, which could only have arisen from some sudden alarm in the young lady’s mind, excited by her friends, whom he had always observed to be prejudiced against him. He appealed strongly against the hardship of being imprisoned on so slight a charge; but, as he could find no one to take his part, he reserved his defence for the quarter sessions, for which he was fully committed. Colin thought, however, that it was so doubtful whether the charges against him could be substantiated, that it was highly necessary to be fully prepared to press the former forgery against him, and had therefore decided upon sleeping at St. Norbert’s and going on by an early train to obtain legal advice in London, and then to see Harry Beauchamp. Meantime, Ermine must write to her brother as urgently as possible, backing up Colin’s own representations of the necessity of his return.
Everything had gone smoothly so far. Maria Hatherton was set to stand trial at the quarter sessions for assaulting the children; however, since her own little girl was still alive, though in serious danger, and the Sisters had agreed to look after both for now, Colonel Keith thought it was only humane to offer bail, which was accepted. Later that day, Mauleverer was brought in, having been picked up at a big meeting with his Bristol friends, who all rallied around him, expressing strong outrage at the accusations and providing character references. He claimed to have no knowledge of the name Maddox and asserted that he could prove his portrayal of himself as a popular, philanthropic lecturer was entirely accurate. He expressed great surprise at the charges against him, suggesting they must have come from some sudden panic in the young lady’s mind, stirred up by her friends, whom he had always seen as biased against him. He strongly protested the unfairness of being imprisoned over such a minor charge; but since he couldn’t find anyone to support him, he decided to hold off on his defense until the quarter sessions, for which he was fully committed. Colin, however, thought it was quite uncertain whether the accusations against Mauleverer could hold up, and he felt it was crucial to be fully prepared to push for the prior forgery charges against him. Therefore, he planned to stay at St. Norbert’s and catch an early train to get legal advice in London and then see Harry Beauchamp. In the meantime, Ermine needed to urgently write to her brother, reinforcing Colin’s suggestions about the importance of his return.
Ermine read eagerly, but Alison seemed hardly able to command her attention to listen, and scarcely waited for the end of the letter before her own disclosure was made. Francis was sickening with diphtheria; he had been left behind in the morning on account of some outbreak of peevishness, and Alison, soon becoming convinced that temper was not solely in fault, had kept him apart from his brothers, and at last had sent for the doctor, who had at once pronounced it to be the same deadly complaint which had already declared itself in Rachel Curtis. Alison had of course devoted herself to the little boy till his mother’s return from St. Norbert’s, when she had been obliged to give the first intimation of what the price of the loving little widow’s exploit might be. “I don’t think she realizes the extent of the illness,” said Alison; “say what I would, she would keep on thanking me breathlessly, and only wanting to escape to him. I asked if we should send to let Colin know, and she answered in her dear, unselfish way, ‘By no means, it would be safer for him to be out of the way,’ and, besides, she knew how much depended on his going.”
Ermine read eagerly, but Alison seemed barely able to focus enough to listen, and she hardly waited for the end of the letter before revealing her own news. Francis was sick with diphtheria; he had been left behind that morning because of a bit of bad temper, and Alison, soon realizing that his mood wasn’t the only issue, had kept him apart from his brothers and eventually called for the doctor, who immediately confirmed that it was the same serious illness that had already shown up in Rachel Curtis. Alison had, of course, dedicated herself to the little boy until his mother returned from St. Norbert’s, when she had to break the news about what the outcome of the caring little widow’s actions might be. “I don’t think she realizes how serious the illness is,” Alison said; “no matter what I said, she kept thanking me breathlessly and just wanted to rush back to him. I asked if we should inform Colin, and she replied in her sweet, selfless way, ‘Definitely not, it would be better for him to stay away,’ and she also knew how much hinged on his absence.”
“She is right,” said Ermine; “I am thankful that he is out of reach of trying to take a share in the nursing, it is bad enough to have one in the midst!”
“She’s right,” said Ermine. “I’m grateful that he’s out of reach of trying to get involved in the nursing; it’s bad enough to have one in the middle of it!”
“Yes,” said Alison. “Lady Temple cannot be left to bear this grievous trouble alone, and when the Homestead cannot help her. Yet, Ermine, what can be done? Is it safe for you and Rose?”
“Yeah,” said Alison. “Lady Temple can’t be left to deal with this heavy burden by herself, and the Homestead can’t assist her. But, Ermine, what can we do? Is it safe for you and Rose?”
“Certainly not safe that you should come backwards and forwards,” said Ermine. “Rose must not be put in danger; so, dear, dear Ailie, you had better take your things up, and only look in on us now and then at the window.”
“It's definitely not safe for you to keep coming back and forth,” said Ermine. “Rose shouldn’t be put at risk; so, dear Ailie, it's best if you take your things upstairs and just check in on us from the window every now and then.”
Alison entirely broke down. “Oh, Ermine, Ermine, since you began to mend, not one night have we been apart!”
Alison completely fell apart. “Oh, Ermine, Ermine, ever since you started to get better, not a single night have we been apart!”
“Silly child,” said Ermine, straining her quivering voice to be cheerful, “I am strong, and Rose is my best little handmaid.”
“Silly child,” said Ermine, forcing her trembling voice to sound cheerful, “I’m strong, and Rose is my best little servant.”
“I know it is right,” said Alison, “I could not keep from my boys, and, indeed, now Colin is gone, I do not think any one at Myrtlewood will have the heart to carry out the treatment. It will almost kill that dear young mother to see it. No, they cannot be left; but oh, Ermine, it is like choosing between you and them.”
“I know it’s the right thing,” said Alison, “I couldn’t keep it from my boys, and, honestly, now that Colin is gone, I don’t think anyone at Myrtlewood will have the heart to go through with it. It will nearly break that dear young mother to see it. No, they can’t be left; but oh, Ermine, it feels like choosing between you and them.”
“Not at all, it is choosing between right and wrong.”
“Not at all, it’s a choice between right and wrong.”
“And Ermine, if—if I should be ill, you must not think of coming near me. Rose must not be left alone.”
“And Ermine, if—if I get sick, you must not think about coming near me. Rose shouldn’t be left alone.”
“There is no use in talking of such things,” said Ermine, resolutely, “let us think of what must be thought of, not of what is in the only Wise Hands. What has been done about the other children?”
“There’s no point in talking about such things,” said Ermine firmly. “Let’s focus on what we need to think about, not on what’s in the only Wise Hands. What has been done about the other children?”
“I have kept them away from the first; I am afraid for none of them but Conrade.”
“I have kept them away from the first; I only worry about Conrade.”
“It would be the wisest way to send them, nurses and all, to Gowanbrae.”
"It would be the smartest option to send them, nurses and all, to Gowanbrae."
“Wise, but cool,” said Alison.
“Smart, but chill,” said Alison.
“I will settle that,” returned Ermine. “Tibbie shall come and invite them, and you must make Lady Temple consent.”
“I'll take care of that,” replied Ermine. “Tibbie will come and invite them, and you need to get Lady Temple to agree.”
The sisters durst not embrace, but gazed at one another, feeling that it might be their last look, their hearts swelling with unspoken prayer, but their features so restrained that neither might unnerve the other. Then it was that Alison, for the first time, felt absolute relief in the knowledge, once so bitter, that she had ceased to be the whole world to her sister. And Ermine, for one moment, felt as if it would be a way out of all troubles and perplexities if the two sisters could die together, and leave little Rose to be moulded by Colin to be all he wished; but she resolutely put aside the future, and roused herself to send a few words in pencil, requesting Tibbie to step in and speak to her.
The sisters didn't dare hug each other, but looked into each other's eyes, sensing that it might be their last glance. Their hearts were filled with unspoken prayers, yet their faces were so composed that neither tried to unsettle the other. It was then that Alison, for the first time, felt complete relief in realizing, once a painful truth, that she was no longer the center of her sister's universe. And Ermine, for just a moment, thought it might be a way out of all their troubles and confusion if the two sisters could die together, leaving little Rose to be shaped by Colin into everything he wanted. But she firmly pushed thoughts of the future aside and focused on writing a few words in pencil, asking Tibbie to come in and talk to her.
That worthy personage had fully adopted her, and entering, tall and stately, in her evening black silk and white apron, began by professing her anxiety to be any assistance in her power, saying, “she’d be won’erfu’ proud to serve Miss Williams, while her sister was sae thrang waitin’ on her young scholar in his sair trouble.”
That respectable person had completely taken her in, and as she entered, tall and elegant in her evening black silk dress and white apron, she expressed her eagerness to help in any way she could, saying, “I’d be truly proud to serve Miss Williams, while her sister is so busy taking care of her young student in his difficult situation.”
Emmie thanked her, and rejoiced that the Colonel was out of harm’s way.
Emmie thanked her and was glad that the Colonel was safe.
“Deed, aye, ma’am, he’s weel awa’. He has sic a wark wi’ thae laddies an’ their bit bairn o’ a mither, I’ll no say he’d been easy keepit out o’ the thick o’ the distress, an’ it’s may be no surprisin’, after a’ that’s come and gane, that he seeks to take siccan a lift of the concern. I’ve mony a time heard tell that the auld General, Sir Stephen, was as good as a faither to him, when he was sick an’ lonesome, puir lad, in yon far awa’ land o’ wild beasts an’ savages.”
“Indeed, yes, ma’am, he’s really well off. He has such a struggle with those boys and their little mother; I won’t say it was easy for him to stay out of the thick of the trouble. It’s maybe not surprising, after everything that’s happened, that he wants to take on such a burden. I’ve heard many times that the old General, Sir Stephen, was like a father to him when he was sick and alone, poor boy, in that faraway land of wild animals and savages.”
“Would it not be what he might like, to take in the children out of the way of infection?”
“Wouldn’t it be what he would want, to keep the children away from infection?”
“‘Deed, Miss Ermine,” with a significant curtsey, “I’m thinkin’ ye ken my maister Colin amaist as weel as I do. He’s the true son of his forbears, an’ Gowanbrae used to be always open in the auld lord’s time, that’s his grandfather Foreby, that he owes so much kindness to the General.”
“Indeed, Miss Ermine,” with a respectful curtsy, “I think you know my master Colin almost as well as I do. He’s the true son of his ancestors, and Gowanbrae was always welcoming in the old lord’s time, that’s his grandfather Foreby, to whom he owes so much kindness to the General.”
Ermine further suggested that it was a pity to wait for a letter from the Colonel, and Tibbie quite agreed. She “liked the nurse as an extraordinar’ douce woman, not like the fine English madams that Miss Isabel—that’s Mrs. Comyn Menteith—put about her bairns; and as to room, the sergeant and the tailor bodie did not need much, and the masons were only busy in the front parlour.”
Ermine added that it was a shame to wait for a letter from the Colonel, and Tibbie totally agreed. She thought the nurse was a really nice woman, not like the fancy English ladies that Miss Isabel—that’s Mrs. Comyn Menteith—surrounded her kids with; and as for space, the sergeant and the tailor didn’t need much, and the masons were only working in the front room.
“Masons?” asked Ermine.
“Masons?” Ermine asked.
“On, aye? didna ye ken it’s for the new room, that is to be built out frae the further parlour, and what they ca’ the bay to the drawin’-room, just to mak’ the house more conformable like wi’ his name and forbears. I never thocht but that ye’d surely seen the plans and a’, Miss Ermine, an’ if so be it was Maister Colin’s pleasure the thing suld be private, I’m real vext to hae said a word; but ye’ll may be no let on to him, ma’am, that ye ken onything about it.”
“Is that right? Didn't you know it's for the new room that’s going to be built from the back parlor, and what they call the bay in the drawing room, just to make the house more fitting for his name and family. I never thought you hadn’t seen the plans, Miss Ermine, and if it’s Mr. Colin’s wish that it should be private, I’m really sorry to have said anything; but maybe you shouldn't let him know that you know anything about it, ma’am.”
“Those down-stairs rooms so silently begun,” thought Ermine. “How fixed his intention must be? Oh, how will it end? What would be best for him? And how can I think of myseif, while all, even my Ailie, are in distress and danger?”
“Those downstairs rooms started so quietly,” thought Ermine. “How determined must he be? Oh, how will it all turn out? What would be best for him? And how can I think of myself while everyone, even my Ailie, is in distress and danger?”
Ermine had, however, a good deal to think of, for not only had she Colin’s daily letter to answer, but she had Conrade, Leoline, and Hubert with her for several hours every day, and could not help being amused by Rose’s ways with them, little grown-up lady as she was compared to them. Luckily girls were such uncommon beings with them as to be rather courted than despised, and Rose, having nothing of the tom-boy, did not forfeit the privileges of her sex. She did not think they compensated for her Colonel’s absence, and never durst introduce Violetta to them; but she enjoyed and profited by the contact with childhood, and was a very nice little comforter to Conrade when he was taken with a fit of anxiety for the brother whom he missed every moment.
Ermine had a lot on her mind because she not only had to reply to Colin's daily letters, but she also spent several hours each day with Conrade, Leoline, and Hubert. She couldn't help but find Rose's interactions with them amusing, especially since Rose was a little lady compared to the boys. Fortunately, girls were such rare company for them that they were more likely to be admired than ignored, and since Rose wasn't a tomboy, she retained the advantages of being a girl. She didn't think that they made up for her Colonel's absence and never dared to introduce Violetta to them; however, she enjoyed and benefited from being around children and was a great source of comfort to Conrade when he was feeling anxious about his brother, whom he missed every moment.
Quarantine weighed, however, most heavily upon poor Grace Curtis. Rachel had from the first insisted that she should be kept out of her room; and the mother’s piteous entreaty always implied that saddest argument, “Why should I be deprived of you both in one day?” So Grace found herself condemned to uselessness almost as complete as Ermine’s. She could only answer notes, respond to inquiries, without even venturing far enough from the house to see Ermine, or take out the Temple children for a walk. For indeed, Rachel’s state was extremely critical.
Quarantine hit poor Grace Curtis the hardest. From the beginning, Rachel insisted that Grace stay out of her room, and their mother’s heartbreaking plea always carried the most painful reasoning: “Why should I lose both of you in one day?” So, Grace found herself stuck in a state of almost complete uselessness, similar to Ermine’s. She could only reply to notes and respond to questions, without even daring to go far enough from the house to see Ermine or take the Temple kids for a walk. In fact, Rachel’s condition was extremely serious.
The feverish misery that succeeded Lovedy’s death had been utterly crushing, the one load of self-accusation had prostrated her, but with a restlessness of agony, that kept her writhing as it were in her wretchedness; and then came the gradual increase of physical suffering, bearing in upon her that she had caught the fatal disorder. To her sense of justice, and her desire to wreak vengeance on herself, the notion might be grateful; but the instinct of self-preservation was far stronger. She could not die. The world here, the world to come, were all too dark, too confused, to enable her to bear such a doom. She saw her peril in her mother’s face; in the reiterated visits of the medical man, whom she no longer spurned; in the calling in of the Avoncester physician; in the introduction of a professional nurse, and the strong and agonizing measures to which she had to submit, every time with the sensation that the suffering could not possibly be greater without exceeding the powers of endurance.
The intense misery that followed Lovedy’s death was completely overwhelming; the burden of self-blame had brought her to her knees, yet she writhed in agony, trapped in her suffering. Then the physical pain began to set in, making her realize she had contracted the deadly illness. To her sense of justice and her wish to punish herself, this idea might have been somewhat comforting, but the instinct to survive was much stronger. She couldn’t die. Both this world and the next felt too dark and too confusing for her to accept such a fate. She saw her danger reflected in her mother’s expression; in the repeated visits from the doctor, whom she no longer rejected; in bringing in the Avoncester physician; in the arrival of a professional nurse, and in the intense and painful treatments she had to endure, every time feeling as if the suffering couldn’t possibly become greater without exceeding her limits.
Then arose the thought that with weakness she should lose all chance of expressing a wish, and, obtaining pencil and paper, she began to write a charge to her mother and sister to provide for Mary Morris; but in the midst there came over her the remembrance of the papers that she had placed in Mauleverer’s hands—the title-deeds of the Burnaby Bargain; an estate that perhaps ought to be bringing in as much as half the rental of the property. It must be made good to the poor. If the title-deeds had been sold to any one who could claim the property, what would be the consequence? She felt herself in a mist of ignorance and perplexity; dreading the consequences, yet feeling as if her own removal might leave her fortune free to make up for them. She tried to scrawl an explanation; but mind and fingers were alike unequal to the task, and she desisted just as fresh torture began at the doctor’s hands—torture from which they sent her mother away, and that left her exhausted, and despairing of holding out through a repetition.
Then the thought crossed her mind that if she showed weakness, she might lose the chance to express a wish. So, she grabbed a pencil and some paper and started writing a note to her mother and sister to take care of Mary Morris. But then she remembered the documents she had given to Mauleverer—the title-deeds of the Burnaby Bargain; a property that might be worth as much as half the rental income. It had to be sorted out for the sake of the poor. If the title-deeds had been sold to someone who could claim the property, what would happen? She felt lost in a fog of confusion and anxiety; she feared the consequences but also felt that her absence might free up her fortune to address them. She tried to hastily write an explanation, but her mind and hands were not cooperating, and she stopped just as the doctor started inflicting fresh pain on her—pain that caused them to send her mother away and left her drained, worried that she couldn’t endure it again.
And then—and then! “Tell me of my Saviour,” the dying child had said; and the drawn face had lightened at the words to which Rachel’s oracles declared that people attached crude or arbitrary meanings; and now she hardly knew what they conveyed to her, and longed, as for something far away, for the reality of those simple teachings—once realities, now all by rote! Saved by faith! What was faith? Could all depend on a last sensation? And as to her life. Failure, failure through headstrong blindness and self-will, resulting in the agony of the innocent. Was this ground of hope? She tried to think of progress and purification beyond the grave; but this was the most speculative, insecure fabric of all. There was no habit of trust to it—no inward conviction, no outward testimony. And even when the extreme danger subsided, and Francis Temple was known to be better, Rachel found that her sorrow was not yet ended: for Conrade had been brought home with the symptoms of the complaint—Conrade, the most beloved and loving of Fanny’s little ones, the only one who really remembered his father, was in exceeding, almost hopeless peril, watched day and night by his mother and Miss Williams.
And then—and then! “Tell me about my Savior,” the dying child had said; and the drawn face had brightened at the words that Rachel’s beliefs had said people interpreted in crude or arbitrary ways; and now she hardly understood what they meant to her, and yearned, as for something distant, for the truth of those simple teachings—once real, now only memorized! Saved by faith! What was faith? Could everything depend on a final feeling? And as for her life. Failure, failure through stubborn blindness and willfulness, leading to the suffering of the innocent. Was this a foundation for hope? She tried to think of progress and purification after death; but this was the most uncertain, fragile idea of all. There was no habit of trust in it—no inner certainty, no outward proof. And even when the immediate danger lessened, and Francis Temple was known to be better, Rachel found that her sorrow wasn’t over yet: for Conrade had been brought home with the symptoms of the illness—Conrade, the most beloved and loving of Fanny’s little ones, the only one who truly remembered his father, was in severe, almost hopeless danger, watched day and night by his mother and Miss Williams.
The little Alice, Maria Hatherton’s own child, had lingered and struggled long, but all the care and kindness of the good Sisters at St. Norbert’s had been unavailing, she had sunk at last, and the mother remained in a dull, silent, tearless misery, quietly doing all that was required of her, but never speaking nor giving the ladies any opening to try to make an impression upon her.
The little Alice, Maria Hatherton’s own child, had lingered and struggled for a long time, but all the care and kindness of the good Sisters at St. Norbert’s had been in vain; she finally passed away, and the mother was left in a dull, silent, tearless misery, quietly doing everything that was asked of her, but never speaking or giving the ladies any chance to try to connect with her.
Rachel gleaned more intelligence than her mother meant her to obtain, and brooded over it in her weakness and her silence.
Rachel picked up more information than her mother intended for her to have and reflected on it in her vulnerability and quietness.
Recovery is often more trying than illness, and Rachel suffered greatly. Indeed, she was not sure that she ought to have recovered at all, and perhaps the shock to her nerves and spirits was more serious than the effect of the sharp passing disorder, which had, however, so much weakened her that she succumbed entirely to the blow. “Accountable for all,” the words still rang in her ears, and the all for which she was accountable continually magnified itself. She had tied a dreadful knot, which Fanny, meek contemned Fanny had cut, but at the cost of grievous suffering and danger to her boys, and too late to prevent that death which continually haunted Rachel; those looks of convulsive agony came before her in all her waking and sleeping intervals. Nothing put them aside, occupation in her weakness only bewildered and distracted her, and even though she was advancing daily towards convalescence, leaving her room, and being again restored to her sister, she still continued listless, dejected, cast down, and unable to turn her mind from this one dreary contemplation. Of Fanny and her sons it was hardly possible to think, and one of the strange perturbations of the mind in illness caused her to dwell far less on them than on the minor misery of the fate of the title-deeds of the Burnaby Bargain, which she had put into Mauleverer’s hand. She fancied their falling into the hands of some speculator, who, if he did not break the mother’s heart by putting up a gasometer, would certainly wring it by building hideous cottages, or desirable marine residences. The value would be enhanced so as to be equal to more than half that of the Homestead, the poor would have been cheated of it, and what compensation could be made? Give up all her own share? Nay, she had nothing absolutely her own while her mother lived, only £5,000 was settled on her if she married, and she tortured herself with devising plans that she knew to be impracticable, of stripping herself, and going forth to suffer the poverty she merited. Yes, but how would she have lived? Not like the Williamses! She had tried teaching like the one, and writing like the other, but had failed in both. The Clever Woman had no marketable or available talent. She knew very well that nothing would induce her mother and sister to let her despoil herself, but to have injured them would be even more intolerable; and more than all was the sickening uncertainty, whether any harm had been done, or what would be its extent.
Recovery is often tougher than being ill, and Rachel felt it deeply. She honestly doubted whether she should have recovered at all; the shock to her nerves and spirit might have been more damaging than the acute illness she had faced, which had weakened her to the point of complete collapse. “Accountable for all,” those words echoed in her mind, and the weight of what she was responsible for kept growing. She had tied a terrible knot that Fanny, the quiet and meek Fanny, had untied, but it came at the cost of great suffering and danger to her sons, too late to stop the death that haunted Rachel constantly; those faces twisted in agony were present in all her waking and sleeping moments. Nothing could chase them away; her efforts to distract herself in her weakness only confused and unsettled her. Despite making steady progress toward recovery, leaving her room, and reuniting with her sister, she remained indifferent, downcast, and fixated on this one bleak thought. It was almost impossible to think of Fanny and her sons, and one of the odd quirks of her mind during illness made her obsess far more about the minor misery of the title deeds for the Burnaby Bargain, which she'd given to Mauleverer. She imagined these documents slipping into the hands of some speculator who, if he didn’t break the mother’s heart by erecting a gasometer, would certainly distress her by constructing hideous houses or appealing seaside homes. The value would skyrocket to more than half that of the Homestead, the poor would lose out, and what compensation could there be? Give up everything that belonged to her? No, she had nothing truly of her own while her mother was alive, just £5,000 set aside for her if she married, and she tortured herself with unrealistic plans of giving everything up and facing the poverty she felt she deserved. Yes, but how would she live? Not like the Williamses! She had tried teaching like one of them and writing like the other, but had failed at both. The Clever Woman had no marketable talent. She knew very well that nothing would convince her mother and sister to let her strip herself of everything, but it would be even more unbearable to harm them; and above all, there was the nauseating uncertainty of whether any real damage had been done, or how bad it could be.
Ignorant of such subjects at the best, her brain was devoid of force even to reason out her own conjectures, or to decide what must be impossible. She felt compelled to keep all to herself; to alarm her mother was out of the question, when Mrs. Curtis was distressed and shaken enough already, and to have told Grace would only have brought her soothing promises of sharing the burthen—exactly what she did not want—and would have led to the fact being known to the family man of business, Mr. Cox, the very last person to whom Rachel wished to confess the proceeding. It was not so much the humiliation of owning to him such a fatal act of piracy upon his province, as because she believed him to have been the cause that the poor had all this time been cheated of the full value of the estate. He had complacently consulted the welfare of the Curtis family, by charging them with the rent of the fields as ordinary grass land, and it had never dawned on him that it would be only just to increase the rent. Rachel had found him an antagonist to every scheme she had hatched, ever since she was fifteen years old, her mother obeyed him with implicit faith, and it was certain that if the question were once in his hands, he would regard it as his duty to save the Curtis funds, and let the charity sink or swim. And he was the only person out of the house whom Rachel had seen.
Unaware of such matters at best, her mind lacked the strength even to figure out her own thoughts or determine what must be impossible. She felt the need to keep everything to herself; alarming her mother was not an option, especially since Mrs. Curtis was already anxious and upset. Telling Grace would only lead to soothing promises of sharing the burden—exactly what she didn’t want—and might have resulted in the information reaching Mr. Cox, the family's business manager, the last person Rachel wanted to confess this to. It wasn't just the embarrassment of admitting such a serious mistake to him, but because she believed he had been responsible for cheating the poor out of the true value of the estate all this time. He had thought he was helping the Curtis family by charging them rent for the fields as if they were regular grassland, and it never occurred to him that raising the rent would have been fair. Rachel had found him an opponent to every plan she’d tried to make since she was fifteen; her mother followed him unquestioningly, and it was clear that if the issue ended up in his hands, he would see it as his duty to save the Curtis funds and let the charity manage on its own. And he was the only person outside the house Rachel had interacted with.
As soon as—or rather before—she could bear it, the first day that her presence was supposed not to be perilous to others, she was obliged to have an interview with him, to enable him to prepare the case for the quarter sessions. Nothing could be much worse for her nerves and spirits, but even the mother was absolutely convinced of the necessity, and Rachel was forced to tax her enfeebled powers to enable her to give accurate details of her relations with Mauleverer, and enable him to judge of the form of the indictment. Once or twice she almost sunk back from the exceeding distastefulness of the task, but she found herself urged on, and when she even asked what would happen if she were not well enough to appear, she was gravely told that she must be—it would be very serious if she did not make a great effort, and even her mother shook her head, looked unhappy, but confirmed the admonition. A little revenge or hatred would have been a great help to her, but she could not feel them as impulses. If it had been the woman, she could have gladly aided in visiting such cruelty upon her, but this had not been directly chargeable upon Mauleverer; and though Rachel felt acutely that he had bitterly abused her confidence, she drooped too much to feel the spirit of retort. The notion of being confronted with him before all the world at Avoncester, and being made to bring about his punishment, was simply dreadful to her, but when she murmured some word of this to her mother, Mrs. Curtis fairly started, and said quite fiercely, “My dear, don’t let me hear you say any such thing. He is a very wicked man, and you ought to be glad to have him punished!”
As soon as—or rather before—she could stand it, on the first day when her presence was supposed to not be dangerous to others, she had to meet with him to help him prepare the case for the quarter sessions. It was really tough on her nerves and spirits, but even her mother was completely convinced it was necessary, and Rachel had to push her weakened self to provide accurate details of her interactions with Mauleverer, so he could understand the form of the indictment. A couple of times she nearly pulled back from the extreme unpleasantness of the task, but she felt pushed to continue, and when she even asked what would happen if she wasn’t well enough to appear, she was soberly told that she had to be—failing to make a big effort would be very serious, and even her mother shook her head, looking unhappy, but agreed with the advice. A bit of revenge or hatred would have really helped her, but she couldn’t feel those emotions as motivations. If it had been the woman, she could have eagerly supported punishing her, but this wasn’t directly Mauleverer’s fault; and though Rachel deeply felt that he had cruelly betrayed her trust, she was too dispirited to feel vengeful. The thought of facing him in front of everyone in Avoncester and being forced to help ensure his punishment was simply terrifying to her, but when she quietly mentioned this to her mother, Mrs. Curtis jumped and said quite fiercely, “My dear, don’t let me hear you say anything like that. He is a very wicked man, and you should be glad he’s getting punished!”
She really spoke as if she had been rebuking some infringement of decorum, and Rachel was quite startled. She asked Grace why the mother was so bent on making her vindictive, but Grace only answered that every one must be very much shocked, and turned away the subject.
She really spoke as if she had been scolding someone for breaking the rules, and Rachel was pretty taken aback. She asked Grace why their mom was so determined to make her bitter, but Grace just said that everyone must be very shocked and changed the topic.
Prudent Grace! Her whole soul was in a tumult of wrath and shame at what she knew to be the county gossip, but she was aware that Rachel’s total ignorance of it was the only chance of her so comporting herself in court as to silence the rumour, and she and her mother were resolutely discreet.
Prudent Grace! Her entire being was in a whirlwind of anger and shame at what she knew was the county gossip, but she understood that Rachel’s complete ignorance of it was her only chance to act in court in a way that would put the rumors to rest, and she and her mother were determined to be discreet.
Mrs. Curtis, between nursing, anxiety, and worry, looked lamentably knocked up, and at last Grace and Rachel prevailed on her to take a drive, leaving Rachel on a sofa in her sitting-room, to what was no small luxury to her just at present—that of being miserable alone—without meeting any one’s anxious eyes, or knowing that her listlessness was wounding the mother’s heart. Yet the privilege only resulted in a fresh perturbation about the title-deeds, and longing to consult some one who could advise and sympathize. Ermine Williams would have understood and made her Colonel give help, but Ermine seemed as unattainable as Nova Zembla, and she only heard that the Colonel was absent. Her head as aching with the weary load of doubt, and she tried to cheat her woe by a restless movement to the windows. She saw Captain Keith riding to the door. It suddenly darted into her mind that here was one who could and would help her. He could see Mauleverer and ascertain what had become of the deeds; he could guess at the amount of danger! She could not forget his kindness on the night of Lovedy’s illness, or the gentleness of his manner about the woodcuts, and with a sudden impulse she rang the bell and desired that Captain Keith might be shown in. She was still standing leaning on the table when he entered.
Mrs. Curtis, caught up in nursing, anxiety, and worry, looked sadly worn out. Eventually, Grace and Rachel convinced her to take a drive, leaving Rachel lounging on a sofa in her sitting room, which, at the moment, was a nice luxury for her: being miserable alone — without anyone's worried gaze on her or knowing that her lack of energy was hurting her mother's heart. Yet, this privilege only led to more anxiety over the title deeds and a longing to consult someone who could offer advice and support. Ermine Williams would have understood and urged her Colonel to help, but Ermine seemed as unreachable as Nova Zembla, and all she heard was that the Colonel was away. Her head throbbed with a heavy burden of uncertainty, and she tried to distract herself by moving restlessly to the windows. She spotted Captain Keith riding up to the door. It suddenly occurred to her that here was someone who could and would help her. He could talk to Mauleverer and find out what happened to the deeds; he could assess the level of danger! She couldn’t forget his kindness the night Lovedy got sick or the gentleness he showed regarding the woodcuts, and with a sudden impulse, she rang the bell and requested that Captain Keith be brought in. She was still leaning against the table when he walked in.
“This is very good in you,” he said; “I met your mother and sister on my way up, and they asked me to leave word of Conrade being better, but they did not tell me I should see you.”
“This is really nice of you,” he said; “I ran into your mom and sister on my way here, and they asked me to let you know that Conrade is doing better, but they didn’t mention that I would see you.”
“Conrade is better?” said Rachel, sitting down, unable to stand longer.
“Conrade is better?” Rachel said, sitting down, unable to stand any longer.
“Yes, his throat is better. Miss Williams’s firmness saved him. They think him quite out of danger.”
“Yes, his throat is better. Miss Williams’s determination saved him. They believe he’s no longer in danger.”
“Thank Heaven! Oh, I could never have seen his mother again! Oh, she has been the heroine!”
“Thank goodness! Oh, I could never have faced his mother again! Oh, she has been the hero!”
“In the truest sense of the word,” he answered. And Rachel looked up with one moment’s brightening at the old allusion, but her oppression was too great for cheerfulness, and she answered—
“In the truest sense of the word,” he replied. And Rachel looked up for a moment, brightened by the old reference, but her heaviness was too intense for her to feel cheerful, and she replied—
“Dear Fanny, yes, she will be a rebuke to me for ever! But,” she added, before he had time to inquire for her health, “I wanted—I wanted to beg you to do me a service. You were so kind the other night.”
“Dear Fanny, yes, she will always remind me of my mistakes! But,” she continued, before he could ask about her health, “I wanted—I wanted to ask you for a favor. You were so generous the other night.”
His reply was to lean earnestly forward, awaiting her words, and she told him briefly of her grievous perplexity about the title-deeds.
His response was to lean in intently, waiting for her to speak, and she briefly shared her deep confusion about the title deeds.
“Then,” he said, “you would wish for me to see the man and ascertain how he has disposed of them.”
“Then,” he said, “you want me to meet the guy and find out how he dealt with them.”
“I should be most grateful!”
“I would be very grateful!”
“I will do my utmost. Perhaps I may not succeed immediately, as I believe visitors are not admitted every day, and he is said to be busy preparing his defence, but I will try, and let you know.”
“I’ll do my best. I might not succeed right away since I hear that visitors aren’t allowed every day, and he’s supposed to be busy working on his defense, but I’ll give it a shot and keep you updated.”
“Thanks, thanks! The doubt is terrible, for I know worry about it would distract my mother.”
“Thanks, thanks! The uncertainty is awful because I know that stressing over it would distract my mom.”
“I do not imagine,” he said, “that much worse consequences than worry could ensue. But there are none more trying.”
"I don't think," he said, "that anything worse than worry could happen. But nothing is more exhausting."
“Oh not none!”
“Oh, not at all!”
“Do not let worry about this increase other ills,” he said, kindly, “do not think about this again till you hear from me.”
“Don't let worrying about this cause other problems,” he said gently, “don't think about it again until you hear from me.”
“Is that possible?”
"Is that doable?"
“I should not have thought so, if I had not watched my uncle cast off troubles about his eye-sight and the keeping his living.”
"I wouldn't have thought that if I hadn't seen my uncle let go of his worries about his eyesight and managing his livelihood."
“Ah! but those were not of his own making.”
“Ah! but those weren’t his own doing.”
“‘There is a sparkle even in the darkest water.’ That was a saying of his,” said Alick, looking anxiously at her pale cheek and down-cast eye.
“‘There’s a sparkle even in the darkest water.’ That was one of his sayings,” Alick said, anxiously glancing at her pale cheek and downcast eye.
“Not when they are turbid.”
“Not when they're murky.”
“They will clear,” he said, and smiled with a look of encouraging hope that again cheered her in spite of herself. “Meantime remember that in any way I can help you, it will be the greatest favour—” he checked himself as he observed the exceeding languor and lassitude apparent in her whole person, and only said, “My sister is too much at the bottom of it for me not to feel it the greatest kindness to me to let me try to be of the slightest use. I believe I had better go now,” as he rose and looked at her wistfully; “you are too much tired to talk.”
“They will get better,” he said, smiling with an encouraging look that lightened her mood despite her reluctance. “In the meantime, just know that any way I can help you would mean so much to me—” he paused when he noticed the extreme fatigue and weariness in her entire being, and continued, “My sister is too involved for me not to feel it would be the kindest thing for you to let me try to be of some help. I think I should go now,” he added, rising and glancing at her with concern; “you’re too tired to talk.”
“I believe I am,” she said, almost reluctantly, “but thank you, this has done me good.”
“I think I am,” she said, almost hesitantly, “but thank you, this has really helped me.”
“And you are really getting better?”
"And you're really improving?"
“Yes, I believe so. Perhaps I may feel it when this terrible day is over.”
“Yes, I think so. Maybe I'll feel it once this awful day is over.”
What a comfort it would be, she said to herself, when he was gone, if we had but a near relation like him, who would act for the mother, instead of our being delivered up, bound hand and foot, to Mr. Cox. It would have been refreshing to have kept him now, if I could have done it without talking; it really seemed to keep the horrible thoughts in abeyance, to hear that wonderfully gentle tone! And how kind and soft the look was! I do feel stronger for it! Will it really be better after next week? Alas! that will have undone nothing.
What a relief it would be, she thought to herself, once he was gone, if we had a close relative like him who could step in for our mother, instead of being left completely at Mr. Cox's mercy. It would have been soothing to hold onto him now, if I could have done so without saying anything; just hearing that incredibly gentle voice seemed to keep the awful thoughts at bay! And his expression was so kind and soft! I really do feel stronger because of it! Will things really be better after next week? Sadly, that won't change anything.
Yet even this perception of a possibility of hope that there would be relief after the ordeal, was new to Rachel; and it soon gave way to that trying feature of illness, the insurmountable dread of the mere physical fatigue. The Dean of Avoncester, a kind old friend of Mrs. Curtis, had insisted on the mother and daughters coming to sleep at the Deanery, on the Tuesday night, and remaining till the day after the trial; but Rachel’s imagination was not even as yet equal to the endurance of the long drive, far less of the formality of a visit. Lady Temple was likewise asked to the Deanery, but Conrade was still too ill for her to think of leaving him for more than the few needful hours of the trial; nor had Alison been able to do more than pay an occasional visit at her sister’s window to exchange reports, and so absorbed was she in her boys and their mother, that it was quite an effort of recollection to keep up to Ermine’s accounts of Colonel Keith’s doings.
Yet even this sense of hope that there might be relief after the ordeal was new to Rachel; and it quickly gave way to a challenging aspect of illness, the overwhelming dread of physical exhaustion. The Dean of Avoncester, a kind old friend of Mrs. Curtis, had insisted that the mother and daughters stay at the Deanery on Tuesday night and remain there until the day after the trial; but Rachel’s imagination wasn't even close to handling the long drive, let alone the formality of a visit. Lady Temple was also invited to the Deanery, but Conrade was still too ill for her to consider leaving him for more than the few necessary hours of the trial; nor had Alison been able to do more than make occasional visits to her sister’s window to exchange updates, and she was so focused on her boys and their mother that it was quite a struggle to keep up with Ermine’s accounts of Colonel Keith’s activities.
It was on the Monday afternoon, the first time she had ventured into the room, taking advantage of Rose having condescended to go out with the Temple nursery establishment, when she found Ermine’s transparent face all alive with expectation. “He may come any time now,” she said; “his coming to-day or to-morrow was to depend on his getting his business done on Saturday or not.”
It was Monday afternoon, the first time she had stepped into the room, taking advantage of Rose deciding to go out with the Temple nursery group, when she saw Ermine’s shining face full of anticipation. “He could show up any minute now,” she said; “whether he comes today or tomorrow depends on whether he finished his business on Saturday.”
And in a few minutes’ time the well-known knock was heard, and Ermine, with a look half arch half gay, surprised her sister by rising with the aid of the arm of her chair, and adjusting a crutch that had been leaning against it.
And in a few minutes, the familiar knock was heard, and Ermine, with a look that was part playful and part cheerful, surprised her sister by getting up with the help of the arm of her chair, and adjusting a crutch that had been leaning against it.
“Why Ermine! you could not bear the jarring of that crutch—”
“Why, Ermine! You couldn't stand the clashing of that crutch—”
“Five or six years ago, Ailie, when I was a much poorer creature,” then as the door opened, “I would make you a curtsey, Colonel Keith, but I am afraid I can’t quite do that,” though still she moved nearer to meet him, but perhaps there was a look of helplessness which made her exultation piteous, for he responded with an exclamation of alarm, put out his arm to support her, and did not relax a frown of anxiety till he had placed her safe in her chair again, while she laughed perhaps a little less freely, and said, “See what it is to have had to shift for oneself!”
“Five or six years ago, Ailie, when I was in a much worse situation,” then as the door opened, “I would curtsey to you, Colonel Keith, but I’m afraid I can’t quite do that,” even though she moved closer to greet him. Perhaps there was a look of helplessness that made her excitement seem sad, because he reacted with a shout of concern, reached out his arm to support her, and didn’t stop frowning in worry until he had her safely back in her chair. She laughed, maybe a bit less freely, and said, “See what it’s like to have to fend for yourself!”
“You met me with your eyes the first time, Ermine, and I never missed anything.”
“You locked eyes with me the first time, Ermine, and I never overlooked anything.”
“Well, I think it is hard not to have been more congratulated on my great achievement! I thought I should have had at least as much credit as Widdrington, my favourite hero and model.”
“Well, I think it’s hard not to have been congratulated more on my great achievement! I thought I should’ve received at least as much credit as Widdrington, my favorite hero and role model.”
“When you have an arm to support you it may be all very well, and I shall never stand it without.” Then, as Ermine subsided, unprepared with a reply, “Well, Ailie, how are your boys?”
“When you have someone to support you, it might seem fine, and I won’t manage without it.” Then, as Ermine fell silent, not ready with a response, “So, Ailie, how are your boys?”
“Both much better, Francis nearly well.”
“Both doing much better, Francis almost well.”
“You have had a terrible time! And their mother?”
“You've had a really tough time! And what about their mom?”
“Dearer and sweeter than ever,” said Alison, with her voice trembling; “no one who has not seen her now can guess half what she is!”
“Dearer and sweeter than ever,” said Alison, her voice shaking; “no one who hasn’t seen her now can imagine even half of what she is!”
“I hope she has not missed me. If this matter had not been so pressing, I could not have stayed away.”
“I hope she hasn’t missed me. If this situation hadn’t been so urgent, I wouldn’t have been able to stay away.”
“The one message she always gave me was, that you were not to think of coming home; and, indeed, those dear boys were so good, that we managed very well without you.”
“The one thing she always told me was that you shouldn’t think about coming home; and, honestly, those sweet boys were so great that we got along just fine without you.”
“Yes, I had faith in your discipline, and I think that matters are in train against Edward comes. Of course there is no letter, or you would have told me.”
“Yes, I believed in your discipline, and I think things are in motion against Edward. Of course, there’s no letter, or you would have informed me.”
“He will be coming himself,” said Ermine, resolved against again expressing a doubt; while Alison added that he hated letter-writing.
“He'll be coming himself,” said Ermine, determined not to express any doubt again; while Alison added that he disliked writing letters.
“Nothing could be more satisfactory than Beauchamp’s letter,” added Colin. “He was so thoroughly convinced, that he immediately began to believe that he had trusted Edward all along, and had only been overruled.”
“Nothing could be more satisfying than Beauchamp’s letter,” added Colin. “He was so completely convinced that he quickly started to believe he had trusted Edward all along and had just been overruled.”
“I dare say,” said Ermine, laughing; “I can quite fancy honest Harry completely persuaded that he was Edward’s champion, while Maddox was turning him round his finger.”
“I'll bet,” said Ermine, laughing; “I can totally picture honest Harry completely convinced that he was Edward’s champion, while Maddox had him wrapped around his finger.”
“And such is his good faith, that I hope he will make Edward believe the same! I told you of his sending his love to you, and of his hopes that you would some day come and see the old place. He made his wife quite cordial.”
“And his good faith is such that I hope he will convince Edward of the same! I told you about him sending his love to you and his hopes that you would come to visit the old place someday. He made his wife very warm and friendly.”
Alison did not feel herself obliged to accept the message, and Ermine could freely say, “Poor Harry! I should like to see him again! He would be exactly the same, I dare say. And how does the old place look?”
Alison didn’t feel obligated to accept the message, and Ermine could easily say, “Poor Harry! I’d love to see him again! He would be just the same, I bet. And how does the old place look?”
“Just what I do not want you to see. They have found out that the Rectory is unhealthy, and stuck up a new bald house on the top of the hill; and the Hall is new furnished in colours that set one’s teeth on edge. Nothing is like itself but Harry, and he only when you get him off duty—without his wife! I was glad to get away to Belfast.”
“Just what I really don’t want you to see. They’ve discovered that the Rectory isn’t healthy, and they put up a new bald house on the top of the hill; and the Hall has been newly furnished in colors that are really grating. Nothing feels like it used to except for Harry, and that’s only when you catch him off duty—without his wife! I was relieved to escape to Belfast.”
“And there, judging from Julia’s letter, they must have nearly devoured you.”
“And from what Julia says in her letter, they must have almost eaten you alive.”
“They were very hospitable. Your sister is not so very unlike you, Ermine?”
“They were really welcoming. Your sister is not that different from you, Ermine?”
“Oh, Colin!” exclaimed Alison, with an indignation of which she became ashamed, and added, by way of making it better, “Perhaps not so very.”
“Oh, Colin!” Alison exclaimed, feeling a surge of indignation that she soon regretted. To make it better, she added, “Maybe not that much.”
“She was very gracious to me,” said Colin, smiling, “and we had much pleasant talk of you.”
“She was really kind to me,” said Colin, smiling, “and we had a lot of nice conversations about you.”
“Yes,” said Ermine, “it will be a great pleasure to poor Julia to be allowed to take us up again, and you thought the doctor sufficiently convinced.”
“Yes,” said Ermine, “it will be a great pleasure for poor Julia to be allowed to take us up again, and you believe the doctor is convinced enough.”
“More satisfactorily so than Harry, for he reasoned out the matter, and seems to me to have gone more by his impression that a man could not be so imprudent as Edward in good faith than by Maddox’s representation.”
“More satisfactorily than Harry, because he figured things out, and it seems to me he was influenced more by his gut feeling that a man couldn't be as reckless as Edward in good faith than by Maddox's portrayal.”
“That is true,” said Alison, “he held out till Edward refused to come home, and then nothing would make him listen to a word on his behalf.”
“That’s true,” said Alison, “he kept waiting until Edward decided not to come home, and then nothing could convince him to listen to anything in his favor.”
“And it will be so again,” thought Ermine, with a throb at her heart. Then she asked, “Did you see whether there was a letter for you at home?”
“And it will be like that again,” thought Ermine, feeling a tightness in her chest. Then she asked, “Did you check if there was a letter for you at home?”
“Yes, I looked in, and found only this, which I have only glanced at, from Bessie.”
“Yes, I looked in and only found this, which I’ve just glanced at, from Bessie.”
“From Paris?”
"From Paris?"
“Yes, they come home immediately after Easter. ‘Your brother is resolved I should be presented, and submit to the whole season in style; after which he says I may judge for myself.’ What people will do for pretty young wives! Poor Mary’s most brilliant season was a winter at Edinburgh; and it must be his doing more than hers, for she goes on: ‘Is it not very hard to be precluded all this time from playing the chieftainess in the halls of my forefathers? I shall have to run down to your Gowanbrae to refresh myself, and see what you are all about, for I cannot get the fragment of a letter from Alick; and I met an Avoncestrian the other day, who told me that the whole county was in a state of excitement about the F. U. etc.; that every one believed that the fascinating landscape-painter was on the high road to winning one of the joint-heiresses; but that Lady Temple—the most incredible part of the story—had blown up the whole affair, made her way into the penetralia of the asylum, and rescued two female ‘prentices, so nearly whipped to death that it took an infinitesimal quantity of Rachel’s homoeopathy to demolish one entirely, and that the virtuous public was highly indignant that there was no inquest nor trial for manslaughter; but that it was certain that Rachel had been extremely ill ever since. Poor Rachel, there must be some grain of truth in all this, but one would like to be able to contradict it. I wrote to ask Alick the rights of the story, but he has not vouchsafed me a line of reply; and I should take it as very kind in you to let me know whether he is in the land of the living or gone to Edinburgh—as I hear is to be the lot of the Highlanders—or pining for the uncroquetable lawn, to which I always told him he had an eye.’”
“Yes, they come home right after Easter. ‘Your brother is determined that I should be introduced and experience the whole season in style; after that, he says I can decide for myself.’ What people will do for pretty young wives! Poor Mary’s most exciting season was a winter in Edinburgh; and it’s probably more his doing than hers, because she continues: ‘Isn’t it very unfair to be kept from playing the lady of the house in the halls of my ancestors? I’ll have to go down to your Gowanbrae to recharge and see what you’re all up to, since I can’t get even a scrap of a letter from Alick; and I met someone from Avoncestrian the other day who told me that the whole county is buzzing about the F.U. etc.; that everyone believes the charming landscape painter is on track to win one of the joint heiresses; but the most astonishing part of the story is that Lady Temple has blown up the whole situation, managed to get into the innermost areas of the asylum, and rescued two female apprentices who were nearly whipped to death, so much so that it took a tiny bit of Rachel’s homeopathy to completely help one of them, and the outraged public is appalled that there was no inquest or manslaughter trial; but it’s clear that Rachel has been very ill ever since. Poor Rachel, there must be some truth to all this, but it would be nice to be able to deny it. I wrote to ask Alick for the details of the story, but he hasn’t given me a single line in response; and I would appreciate it if you could let me know whether he’s alive or gone to Edinburgh—as I hear will be the case for the Highlanders—or just longing for the un-croquet-able lawn, which I always told him he was eyeing.’”
“She may think herself lucky he has not answered,” said Ermine; “he has always been rather unreasonably angry with her for making the introduction.”
“She might think she’s lucky he hasn’t responded,” said Ermine; “he’s always been somewhat unreasonably mad at her for making the introduction.”
“That is the reason he has not,” added Alison, “for he is certainly not far off. He has been over almost every day to inquire, and played German tactics all Saturday afternoon with Francis to our great relief. But I have stayed away long enough.”
“That’s why he hasn’t,” added Alison, “because he’s definitely not far away. He’s come over almost every day to check in, and he played German tactics all Saturday afternoon with Francis, which was such a relief for us. But I've stayed away long enough.”
“I will walk back with you, Ailie. I must see the good little heroine of the most incredible part of the story.”
“I'll walk back with you, Ailie. I need to see the brave little heroine of the most incredible part of the story.”
Lady Temple looked a good deal paler than when he had last seen her, and her eyelids still showed that they had long arrears of sleep to make up; but she came down with outstretched hands and a sunny smile. “They are so much better, and I am so glad you were not at home in the worst of it.”
Lady Temple looked a lot paler than when he had last seen her, and her eyelids still showed that she had a lot of sleep to catch up on; but she came down with open arms and a bright smile. "They're so much better now, and I'm really glad you weren't home during the worst of it."
“And I am sorry to have deserted you.”
“And I'm sorry for abandoning you.”
“Oh, no, no, it was much better that you should be away. We should all have wanted you, and that would have been dangerous, and dear, dear Miss Williams did all that could be done. Do you know, it taught me that you were right when you told me I ought never to rest till the boys learnt to obey, for obedience’ sake, at a word. It showed what a bad mother I am, for I am sure if dear Conrade had been like what he was last year, even she could not have saved him,” said Fanny, her eyes full of tears.
“Oh no, it was definitely better for you to be away. We would have all wanted you here, and that could have been dangerous. And dear Miss Williams did everything she could. You know, it made me realize you were right when you said I shouldn't rest until the boys learned to obey at a moment's notice, just for the sake of obedience. It really showed what a bad mother I am, because I’m sure if dear Conrade had been like he was last year, even she wouldn't have been able to save him,” Fanny said, her eyes filled with tears.
Then came her details, to which he listened, as ever, like the brotherly friend he was, and there was a good deal said about restoring the little ones, who were still at Gowanbrae, to which he would by no means as yet consent, though Fanny owned herself to have time now to pine for her Stephana, and to “hear how dismal it is to have a silent nursery.”
Then came her details, which he listened to, as always, like the supportive friend he was, and a lot was said about bringing the little ones, who were still at Gowanbrae, back home. He was definitely not ready to agree to that yet, even though Fanny admitted that she had time to miss her Stephana and to “hear how sad it is to have a quiet nursery.”
“Yes, it has been a fearful time. We little guessed how much risk you ran when you went to the rescue.”
“Yes, it’s been a scary time. We had no idea how much danger you were in when you went to help.”
“Dear Con, when he thought—when we thought he could not get better, said I was not to mind that, and I don’t,” said Fanny. “I thought it was right, and though I did not know this would come of it, yet you see God has been very merciful, and brought both of my boys out of this dreadful illness, and I dare say it will do them good all their lives now it is over. I am sure it will to me, for I shall always be more thankful.”
“Dear Con, when he thought—when we thought he couldn’t get better, said I shouldn’t worry about it, and I don’t,” said Fanny. “I believed it was the right thing to do, and even though I didn’t expect this outcome, you can see that God has been really kind and has helped both of my boys recover from this terrible illness. I’m sure it will benefit them for the rest of their lives now that it’s over. I know it will help me too, because I will always be more thankful.”
“Everything does you good,” he said.
“Everything is good for you,” he said.
“And another thing,” she added, eagerly, “it has made me know that dear Miss Williams so much better. She was so good, so wonderfully good, to come away from her sister to us. I thought she was quite gone the first day, and that I was alone with my poor Francie, and presently there she was by my side, giving me strength and hope by her very look. I want to have her for good, I want to make her my sister! She would teach the boys still, for nobody else could make them good, but if ever her sister could spare her, she must never go away again.”
“And another thing,” she added eagerly, “I’ve come to know dear Miss Williams so much better. She was so good, so incredibly good, to leave her sister and come to us. I thought she was completely lost the first day, and that I was just alone with my poor Francie, but then there she was by my side, giving me strength and hope just with her presence. I want to keep her for good; I want to make her my sister! She could still teach the boys, because no one else could help them be good, but if her sister can ever spare her, she must never leave again.”
“You had better see what she says,” replied the Colonel, with suppressed emotion.
“You should probably check out what she says,” replied the Colonel, holding back his feelings.
That night, when Conrade and Francis were both fast asleep, their mother and their governess sat over the fire together, languid but happy, and told out their hearts to one another—told out more than Alison had ever put into words even to Ermine, for her heart was softer and more unreserved now than ever it had been since her sister’s accident had crushed her youth. There was thenceforth a bond between her and Lady Temple that gave the young widow the strong-hearted, sympathizing, sisterly friend she had looked for in Rachel, and that filled up those yearnings of the affection that had at first made Alison feel that Colin’s return made the world dreary to her. Her life had a purpose, though that purpose was not Ermine! But where were Edward and his letter?
That night, while Conrade and Francis were sound asleep, their mother and governess sat by the fire together, tired but content, and shared their thoughts with each other—expressing more than Alison had ever voiced even to Ermine, as her heart felt softer and more open now than it had since her sister’s accident had shattered her youth. From then on, a connection formed between her and Lady Temple that provided the young widow with the strong, understanding, sisterly friend she had hoped to find in Rachel, fulfilling the deep longing for affection that had initially made Alison feel that Colin’s return made the world a bleak place for her. Her life had a purpose, even if that purpose wasn’t Ermine! But where were Edward and his letter?
CHAPTER XXI. THE QUARTER SESSIONS.
“Is it so nominated in the bond?”—Merchant of Venice.
“Is it specified in the contract?”—Merchant of Venice.
Malgre her disinclination, Rachel had reached the point of recovery in which the fresh air and change of scene of the drive to Avoncester could not fail to act as restoratives, and the first evening with the Dean and his gentle old sister was refreshing and comfortable to her spirits.
Despite her reluctance, Rachel had reached a stage of recovery where the fresh air and change of scenery from the drive to Avoncester could only help, and the first evening spent with the Dean and his kind old sister was uplifting and soothing for her spirits.
It was in the afternoon of the ensuing day that Mr. Grey came to tell her that her presence would soon be required, and both her mother and sister drove to the court with her. Poor Mrs. Curtis, too anxious to go away, yet too nervous to go into court, chose, in spite of all Mr. Grey’s advice, to remain in the carriage with the blinds closed, far too miserable for Grace to leave her.
It was in the afternoon of the next day that Mr. Grey came to inform her that she would soon be needed, and both her mother and sister drove to the court with her. Poor Mrs. Curtis, too anxious to leave but too nervous to enter the court, decided, despite all of Mr. Grey’s advice, to stay in the carriage with the blinds closed, feeling far too miserable for Grace to leave her side.
Rachel, though very white, called up a heroic smile, and declared that she should get on very well. Her spirit had risen to the occasion, so as to brace her nerves to go becomingly through what was inevitable; and she replied with a ready “yes,” to Mr. Grey’s repetition of the advice for ever dinned into her ears, not to say a word more than needful, feeling indeed little disposed to utter anything that she could avoid.
Rachel, despite being very pale, forced a brave smile and said she would manage just fine. Her spirits lifted to face what was unavoidable, and she quickly responded with a “yes” to Mr. Grey’s repeated advice that she had always heard: to only say what was absolutely necessary, as she really didn't feel like saying anything more than she had to.
She emerged from the dark passage into full view of faces which were far more familiar than she could have wished. She would have greatly preferred appearing before a judge, robed, wigged, and a stranger, to coming thus before a country gentleman, slightly known to herself, but an old friend of her father, and looking only like his ordinary self.
She stepped out of the dark hallway into full view of faces that were much too familiar for her comfort. She would have much preferred to face a judge—dressed in robes and a wig—who was a complete stranger, rather than standing here in front of a country gentleman whom she only slightly knew, but who was an old friend of her father's and looked just like his usual self.
All the world indeed was curious to see the encounter between Rachel Curtis and her impostor, and every one who had contributed so much as a dozen stamps to the F. U. E. E. felt as if under a personal wrong and grievance, while many hoped to detect other elements of excitement, so that though all did not overtly stare at the witness, not even the most considerate could resist the impulse to glance at her reception of the bow with which he greeted her entrance.
All the world was definitely curious to see the meeting between Rachel Curtis and her impostor, and everyone who had even contributed a dozen stamps to the F. U. E. E. felt like they had been personally wronged and aggrieved, while many hoped to spot other elements of excitement. So, although not everyone openly stared at the witness, not even the most thoughtful could resist the urge to glance at her reaction to the bow he gave her as she walked in.
She bent her head instinctively, but there was no change of colour on her cheek. Her faculties were concentrated, and her resolute will had closed all avenues to sensations that might impair her powers; she would not give way either to shame and remorse for herself, or to pity or indignation against the prisoner; she would attend only to the accuracy of the testimony that was required of her as an expiation of her credulous incaution; but such was the tension of her nerves, that, impassive as she looked, she heard every cough, every rustle of paper; each voice that addressed her seemed to cut her ears like a knife; and the chair that was given to her after the administration of the oath was indeed much needed.
She instinctively bowed her head, but her cheeks didn’t change color. Her mind was focused, and her strong will had shut down any feelings that might weaken her abilities; she wouldn’t give in to shame or regret for herself, nor to pity or anger towards the prisoner. She would concentrate only on providing accurate testimony as a way to atone for her naïve carelessness. But despite her calm appearance, the tension in her nerves was so high that she heard every cough, every crinkling piece of paper; each voice that spoke to her felt like a sharp pain in her ears, and the chair she was given after taking the oath was truly needed.
She was examined upon her arrangement that the prisoner should provide for the asylum at St. Herbert’s, and on her monthly payment to him of the sums entered in the account-book. In some cases she knew he had shown her the bills unreceipted; in others, he had simply made the charge in the book, and she had given to him the amount that he estimated as requisite for the materials for wood-engraving. So far she felt satisfied that she was making herself distinctly understood, but the prisoner, acting as his own counsel, now turned to her and asked the question she had expected and was prepared for, whether she could refer to any written agreement.
She was questioned about her arrangement for the prisoner to support the asylum at St. Herbert’s, and about her monthly payments to him as recorded in the account book. In some instances, she knew he had shown her the unpaid bills; in others, he had simply noted the charges in the book, and she had given him the amount he said was needed for the materials for wood engraving. So far, she felt confident that she was being clear, but the prisoner, acting as his own lawyer, turned to her and asked the question she expected and was ready for: whether she could point to any written agreement.
“No; it was a viva voce agreement.”
“No; it was a verbal agreement.”
Could she mention what passed at the time of making the arrangement that she had stated as existing between himself and her?
Could she talk about what happened when they made the arrangement that she said was in place between him and her?
“I described my plans, and you consented.”
"I shared my plans, and you agreed."
An answer at which some of the audience could have smiled, so well did it accord with her habits. The prisoner again insisted on her defining the mode of his becoming bound to the agreement. Rachel took time for consideration, and Alison Williams, sitting between Lady Temple and Colonel Keith, felt dizzy with anxiety for the answer. It came at last.
An answer that made some of the audience smile, as it matched her usual behavior. The prisoner insisted again that she clarify how he became obligated to the agreement. Rachel paused to think, and Alison Williams, sitting between Lady Temple and Colonel Keith, felt overwhelmed with anxiety awaiting the answer. It finally arrived.
“I do not remember the exact words; but you acquiesced in the appearance of your name as secretary and treasurer.”
“I don’t remember the exact words, but you agreed to have your name listed as secretary and treasurer.”
The prospectus was here brought forward, and Mauleverer asked her to define the duties he had been supposed to undertake in the character in which he had there figured. It of course came out that she had been her own treasurer, only entrusting the nominal one with the amount required for current expenses, and again, in reply to his deferential questions, she was obliged to acknowledge that he had never in so many words declared the sums entered in the book to have been actually paid, and not merely estimates for monthly expenditure to be paid to the tradesmen at the usual seasons.
The prospectus was presented, and Mauleverer asked her to clarify the responsibilities he was supposed to take on in the role he had portrayed. It turned out that she had been her own treasurer, only giving the official treasurer the amount needed for current expenses. In response to his respectful inquiries, she had to admit that he had never explicitly stated that the amounts recorded in the book were actually paid and not just estimates for monthly expenses to be settled with the vendors at the usual times.
“I understood that they were paid,” said Rachel, with some resentment.
“I realized they were getting paid,” Rachel said, feeling a bit resentful.
“Will you oblige me by mentioning on what that understanding was founded?” said the prisoner, blandly.
“Could you do me a favor and explain what that understanding was based on?” said the prisoner, calmly.
There was a pause. Rachel knew she must say something; but memory utterly failed to recall any definite assurance that these debts had been discharged. Time passed, all eyes were upon her, there was a dire necessity of reply, and though perfectly conscious of the weakness and folly of her utterance, she could only falter forth, “I thought so.” The being the Clever Woman of the family, only rendered her the more sensible both of the utter futility of her answer, and of the effect it must be producing.
There was a moment of silence. Rachel knew she had to say something, but she couldn't remember for sure if those debts had been paid off. Time went by, everyone was staring at her, and she felt a pressing need to respond. Even though she was fully aware of how weak and foolish her words were, all she managed to say was, “I thought so.” Being the smart one in the family only made her more aware of how pointless her answer was and how it must be affecting everyone.
Alison hung her head, and frowned in absolute shame and despair, already perceiving how matters must go, and feeling as if the hope of her brother’s vindication were slipping away—reft from her by Rachel’s folly. Colin gave an indignant sigh, and whispering to her, “Come out when Lady Temple does, I will meet you,” he made his way out of court.
Alison hung her head, frowning with total shame and despair, already sensing how things were bound to turn out, and feeling as if her hope for her brother's vindication was slipping away—taken from her by Rachel's foolishness. Colin let out an annoyed sigh, and whispering to her, “Come out when Lady Temple does, I will meet you,” he made his way out of the courtroom.
There had been a moment’s pause after Rachel’s “I thought so,” and then the chairman spoke to the counsel for the prosecution. “Mr. Murray, can you carry the case any further by other witnesses? At present I see no case to go to the jury. You will see that the witness not only does not set up any case of embezzlement, but rather loads to an inference in the contrary direction.”
There was a brief pause after Rachel's "I thought so," and then the chairman addressed the prosecution's counsel. "Mr. Murray, can you advance the case with additional witnesses? Right now, I don't see a case for the jury. You’ll notice that the witness not only fails to establish a case of embezzlement but actually leads to an inference in the opposite direction."
“No, sir,” was the answer; “I am afraid that I can add nothing to the case already presented to you.”
“No, sir,” was the reply; “I’m afraid I can’t add anything to the case already presented to you.”
Upon this, the chairman said,
Then the chairman said,
“Gentlemen of the Jury,—The case for the prosecution does not sustain the indictment or require me to call on the prisoner for his defence, and it is your duty to find him not guilty. You will observe that we are not trying a civil action, in respect of the large sum which he has received from the young lady, and for which he is still accountable to her; nor by acquitting him are you pronouncing that he has not shown himself a man of very questionable honesty, but only that the evidence will not bring him within the grasp of the criminal law, as guilty of embezzlement under the statute, and this because of the looseness of the arrange ments, that had been implied instead of expressed. It is exceedingly to be regretted that with the best intentions and kindest purposes, want of caution and experience on her part should have enabled the prisoner thus to secure himself from the possibility of a conviction; but there can be no doubt that the evidence before us is such as to leave no alternative but a verdict of not guilty.”
“Gentlemen of the Jury,—The prosecution's case doesn't support the charges and doesn't require me to call on the defendant to defend himself, so it's your duty to find him not guilty. Keep in mind that we aren't dealing with a civil case regarding the large sum he received from the young lady, for which he still owes her; by acquitting him, you aren't saying he hasn't acted in ways that are very questionable in terms of honesty, but rather that the evidence doesn't meet the standards of criminal law for embezzlement under the statute, due to the vague agreements that were implied instead of clearly stated. It's very unfortunate that, despite her good intentions and kindness, her lack of caution and experience allowed the defendant to shield himself from a conviction; however, there's no doubt that the evidence we have leaves us with no choice but to deliver a verdict of not guilty.”
The very tenderness and consideration of the grey-haired Sir Edward Morden’s tone were more crushing to Rachel than severe animadversions on her folly would have been from a stranger. Here was she, the Clever Woman of the family, shown in open court to have been so egregious a dupe that the deceiver could not even be punished, but must go scot-free, leaving all her wrongs unredressed! To her excited, morbid apprehension, magnified by past self-sufficiency, it was as though all eyes were looking in triumph at that object of general scorn and aversion, a woman who had stepped out of her place. She turned with a longing to rush into darkness and retirement when she was called to return to her mother, and even had she still been present, little would she have recked that when the jury had, without many moments’ delay, returned a verdict of “Not Guilty,” the prisoner received a strong, stem reprimand from Sir Edward, to whom he replied with a bow that had in it more of triumph than of acceptance.
The gentle way Sir Edward Morden spoke hit Rachel harder than harsh criticism from a stranger would have. Here she was, the smart one in the family, shown in public to have been such a naive fool that the trickster could walk away unpunished, leaving all her grievances unresolved! To her heightened, twisted sense of worry, worsened by her previous confidence, it felt like everyone was looking at her in triumph, like she was a target of general shame and contempt—a woman who had stepped out of line. She wished she could escape into darkness and solitude when she was called back to her mother. Even if she had still been there, she wouldn’t have cared much that, after a brief deliberation, the jury returned a verdict of “Not Guilty,” while the accused received a strong, stern reprimand from Sir Edward, to which he responded with a bow that suggested more triumph than acceptance.
Burning tears of disappointment were upon Alison’s cheek, the old hopeless blank was returning, and her brother might come back in vain, to find his enemy beyond his reach. Here was an end alike of his restoration and of Ermine’s happiness!
Burning tears of disappointment rolled down Alison's cheek, the familiar feeling of hopelessness was creeping back, and her brother might return empty-handed, unable to reach his enemy. This meant the end of both his recovery and Ermine's happiness!
“Oh!” whispered Lady Temple, “is it not horrid? Is nothing to be done to that dreadful man? I always thought people came here to do justice. I shall never like Sir Edward Morden again! But, oh! what can that be? Where is the Colonel?”
“Oh!” whispered Lady Temple, “isn’t it awful? Is there nothing that can be done about that terrible man? I always thought people came here to seek justice. I will never like Sir Edward Morden again! But, oh! what could that be? Where is the Colonel?”
It was a loud, frightful roar and yell, a sound of concentrated fury that, once heard, could never be forgotten. It was from the crowd outside, many of them from Avonmouth, and all frantic with indignation at the cruelty that had been perpetrated upon the helpless children. Their groans and execrations were pursuing the prison van, from which Maria Hatherton was at that moment making her exit, and so fearful was the outcry that penetrated the court, that Fanny trembled with recollections of Indian horrors, looked wistfully for her protector the Colonel, and murmured fears that her aunt must have been very much terrified.
It was a loud, terrifying roar and shout, a sound full of anger that, once heard, couldn’t be forgotten. It came from the crowd outside, many of whom were from Avonmouth and all were frantic with outrage at the cruelty inflicted on the helpless children. Their groans and curses followed the prison van, from which Maria Hatherton was just stepping out, and the terrifying noise that reached the courtroom made Fanny tremble with memories of horrific events in India. She looked around for her protector, the Colonel, and whispered her worries that her aunt must be very scared.
At that moment, however, a summons came for Lady Temple, as this was the case in which she was to bear witness. Alison followed, and was no sooner past the spectators, who gladly made way, than she found her arm drawn into Colonel Keith’s. “Is he come?” she asked. “No,” was rather signed than spoken. “Oh, Colin!” she sighed, but still there was no reply, only she was dragged on, downstairs and along dark passages, into a room furnished with a table, chairs, pens, ink, and paper, and lighted with gas, which revealed to her not only Mr. Grey, but one who, though eight years had made him stouter, redder, and rougher, had one of the moat familiar faces of her youthful days. Her senses almost reeled with her as he held out his hand, saying heartily, “Well, Ailie, how are you? and how is Ermine? Where can this brother of yours be?”
At that moment, a summons came for Lady Temple, as she was the witness in this case. Alison followed, and as soon as she passed the spectators, who gladly made way for her, she felt Colonel Keith take her arm. “Is he here?” she asked. “No,” was more of a gesture than a response. “Oh, Colin!” she sighed, but still there was no answer; she was just pulled along, downstairs and through dark hallways, into a room equipped with a table, chairs, pens, ink, and paper, lit by gas that revealed to her not only Mr. Grey, but also someone who, although eight years had made him plumper, redder, and rougher, had one of the most familiar faces from her youth. Her senses nearly spun as he reached out his hand, saying warmly, “Well, Ailie, how are you? And how is Ermine? Where could your brother be?”
“Harry! Mr. Beauchamp! You here!” she exclaimed, in the extremity of amazement.
“Harry! Mr. Beauchamp! You’re here!” she exclaimed, in utter amazement.
“Here is Colin seeming to think that something may be done towards nailing this scoundrel for the present, so I am come at his call. We shall have the fellow in a moment.” And then, by way of getting rid of embarrassment, he began talking to Mr. Grey about the County Hall, and the room, which Mr. Grey explained to be that of the clerk of the peace, lent for this occasion while the usual justice room was occupied, Alison heard all as in a dream, and presently Mauleverer entered, as usual spruce, artist-like, and self-possessed, and was accosted by Harry Beauchamp, “Good evening, Mr. Maddox, I am sorry to trouble you.”
“Here’s Colin seeming to think that we can do something to catch this jerk for now, so I came when he called. We’ll have him here in a moment.” Then, to ease the awkwardness, he started chatting with Mr. Grey about the County Hall and the room, which Mr. Grey explained was the clerk of the peace’s space, borrowed for this occasion since the usual justice room was taken. Alison listened as if in a daze, and soon Mauleverer walked in, looking sharp, artist-like, and self-assured, and was greeted by Harry Beauchamp, “Good evening, Mr. Maddox, I’m sorry to bother you.”
“I hope there is no misunderstanding, sir,” was the reply. “I have not the pleasure of knowing for whom you take me.”
“I hope there’s no misunderstanding, sir,” was the response. “I don’t have the pleasure of knowing who you think I am.”
Without regarding this reply, however, Mr. Beauchamp requested Mr. Grey to take his deposition, stating his own belief in the identity of the person before him with Richard Maddox, whom he charged with having delivered to him a letter falsely purporting to come from Edward Williams, demanding three hundred pounds, which upon this he had delivered to the accused, to be forwarded to the said Mr. Williams.
Without reacting to this response, Mr. Beauchamp asked Mr. Grey to take his statement, expressing his belief that the person in front of him was Richard Maddox. He accused him of delivering a letter that falsely claimed to be from Edward Williams, which demanded three hundred pounds. Based on this, he had given the accused the money to be sent to Mr. Williams.
Alison’s heart beat violently at the ordeal before her of speaking to the genuineness of the letter. She had seen and suspected that to her brother-in-law, but she could not guess whether the flaws in that to Mr. Beauchamp would be equally palpable, and doubt and anxiety made her scarcely able to look at it steadily. To her great relief, however, she was able to detect sufficient variations to justify her assertion that it was not authentic, and she was able to confirm her statement by comparison of the writing with that of a short, indignant denial of all knowledge of the transaction, which Harry Beauchamp had happily preserved, though little regarding it at the time. She also showed the wrong direction, with the name of the place misspelt, according to her own copy of her sister-in-law’s address, at the request of Maddox himself, and pointed out that a letter to Ermine from her brother bore the right form. The seal upon that to Mr. Beauchamp she likewise asserted to be the impression of one which her brother had lost more than a year before the date of the letter.
Alison's heart raced as she faced the challenge of speaking about the authenticity of the letter. She had seen and suspected this in her brother-in-law, but she couldn't tell if the flaws would be just as obvious to Mr. Beauchamp, and doubt and anxiety made it hard for her to focus on it. To her great relief, though, she noticed enough differences to support her claim that it wasn't real, and she was able to back it up by comparing the handwriting to a short, angry denial of any knowledge of the situation that Harry Beauchamp had fortunately kept, even if he hadn’t thought much of it at the time. She also pointed out the incorrect information, including a misspelling of the location based on her own copy of her sister-in-law's address, requested by Maddox himself, and she highlighted that a letter from her brother to Ermine had the correct format. She also claimed that the seal on Mr. Beauchamp's letter was the impression of one her brother had lost more than a year before the letter’s date.
“Indeed, sir,” said the accused, fuming to Mr. Grey, “this is an exceedingly hard case. Here am I, newly acquitted, after nearly six weeks’ imprisonment, on so frivolous a charge that it has been dismissed without my even having occasion to defend myself, or to call my own most respectable witnesses as to character, when another charge is brought forward against me in a name that there has been an unaccountable desire to impose on me. Even if I were the person that this gentleman supposes, there is nothing proved. He may very possibly have received a forged letter, but I perceive nothing to fix the charge upon the party he calls Maddox. Let me call in my own witnesses, who had volunteered to come down from Bristol, and you will be convinced how completely mistaken the gentleman is.”
“Absolutely, sir,” said the accused, fuming at Mr. Grey, “this is an incredibly tough situation. Here I am, just released after nearly six weeks in jail, on such a ridiculous charge that it was thrown out without me even getting a chance to defend myself or bring in my own respectable character witnesses, and now another accusation is thrown at me based on a name that seems to have been unjustly attached to me. Even if I were the person this gentleman thinks I am, there’s nothing proving it. He might have received a fake letter, but I see no evidence linking the accusation to the individual he calls Maddox. Let me bring in my own witnesses, who are willing to come down from Bristol, and you’ll see just how completely wrong this gentleman is.”
To this Mr. Grey replied that the case against him was not yet closed, and cautioning him to keep his own witnesses back; but he was urgent to be allowed to call them at once, as it was already late, and they were to go by the six o’clock train. Mr. Grey consented, and a messenger was sent in search of them. Mr. Beauchamp looked disturbed. “What say you to this, Colin?” he asked, uneasily. “That man’s audacity is enough to stagger one, and I only saw him three times at the utmost.”
To this, Mr. Grey replied that the case against him wasn't closed yet and advised him to hold back his own witnesses. However, he insisted on being allowed to call them right away since it was getting late and they were scheduled to leave on the six o'clock train. Mr. Grey agreed, and a messenger was dispatched to find them. Mr. Beauchamp looked uneasy. “What do you think about this, Colin?” he asked anxiously. “That guy's boldness is enough to shock anyone, and I've only seen him a maximum of three times.”
“Never fear,” said Colin, “delay is all in our favour.” At the same time Colin left them, and with him went some hope and confidence, leaving all to feel awkward and distressed during the delay that ensued, the accused expatiating all the time on the unreasonableness of bringing up an offence committed so many years ago, in the absence of the only witness who could prove the whole story, insisting, moreover, on his entire ignorance of the names of either Maddox or Williams.
“Don’t worry,” Colin said, “the delay is actually in our favor.” At the same time, Colin left them, taking away some hope and confidence, causing everyone to feel awkward and upset during the resulting delay, with the accused constantly going on about how unreasonable it was to bring up an offense committed so many years ago, especially in the absence of the only witness who could confirm the entire story, and insisting that he had no idea who either Maddox or Williams were.
The sight of his witnesses was almost welcome. They were a dissenting minister, and a neat, portly, respectable widow, the owner of a fancy shop, and both knew Mr. Mauleverer as a popular lecturer upon philanthropical subjects, who came periodically to Bristol, and made himself very acceptable. Their faith in him was genuine, and he had even interested them in the F. U. E. E. and the ladies that patronized it. The widow was tearfully indignant about the persecution that had been got up against him, and evidently intended to return with him in triumph, and endow him with the fancy shop if he would condescend so far. The minister too, spoke highly of his gifts and graces, but neither of them could carry back their testimony to his character for more than three years.
The sight of his witnesses was almost a relief. They were a dissenting minister and a neat, portly, respectable widow who owned a fancy shop. Both of them knew Mr. Mauleverer as a popular speaker on charitable topics, who visited Bristol regularly and was well-liked. Their faith in him was genuine, and he had even gotten them interested in the F. U. E. E. and the women who supported it. The widow was tearfully outraged about the persecution he faced and clearly intended to return with him in triumph, offering him the fancy shop if he would agree to it. The minister also spoke highly of his talents and qualities, but neither of them could testify to his character for more than three years.
Mr. Grey looked at his watch, Harry Beauchamp was restless, and Alison felt almost faint with suspense; but at last the tramp of feet was heard in the passage. Colonel Keith came first, and leaning over Alison’s chair, said, “Lady Temple will wait for me at the inn. It will soon be all right.”
Mr. Grey checked his watch, Harry Beauchamp was fidgeting, and Alison felt nearly faint from the tension; but finally, the sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway. Colonel Keith was the first to arrive, and leaning over Alison’s chair, said, “Lady Temple will be waiting for me at the inn. Everything will be fine soon.”
At that moment a tall figure in mourning entered, attended by a policeman. For the first time, Mauleverer’s coolness gave way, though not his readiness, and, turning to Mr. Grey, he exclaimed, “Sir, you do not intend to be misled by the malignity of a person of this description.”
At that moment, a tall figure in mourning walked in, accompanied by a police officer. For the first time, Mauleverer’s calm demeanor faltered, though he remained quick-witted, and turning to Mr. Grey, he exclaimed, “Sir, you can't possibly be swayed by the malice of someone like this.”
“Worse than a murderess!” gasped the scandalized widow Dench. “Well, I never!”
"Worse than a murderer!" gasped the shocked widow Dench. "Well, I never!"
Mr. Grey was obliged to be peremptory, in order to obtain silence, and enforce that, let the new witness be what she might, her evidence must be heard.
Mr. Grey had to be quite firm to get everyone to quiet down, and no matter who the new witness was, her testimony had to be heard.
She had come in with the habitual village curtsey to Mr. Beauchamp, and putting back her veil, disclosed to Alison the piteous sight of the well-remembered features, once so bright with intelligence and innocence, and now sunk and haggard with the worst sorrows of womanhood. Her large glittering eyes did not seem to recognise Alison, but they glared upon Mauleverer with a strange terrible fixedness, as if unable to see any one else. To Alison the sight was inexpressibly painful, and she shrank back, as it were, in dread of meeting the eyes once so responsive to her own.
She came in with the usual village curtsey to Mr. Beauchamp, and, pulling back her veil, revealed to Alison the heartbreaking sight of the familiar features, once so full of intelligence and innocence, now drawn and weary from the deepest sorrows of womanhood. Her large, sparkling eyes didn’t seem to recognize Alison, but they fixed on Mauleverer with a strange, haunting intensity, as if she could see no one else. To Alison, the sight was unbearably painful, and she instinctively recoiled, fearing to meet the eyes that had once been so attuned to her own.
Mr. Grey asked the woman the name of the person before her, and looking at him with the same fearful steadiness, she pronounced it to be Richard Maddox, though he had of late called himself Mauleverer.
Mr. Grey asked the woman the name of the person in front of her, and while looking at him with the same fearful intensity, she stated it was Richard Maddox, although he had recently referred to himself as Mauleverer.
The man quailed for a moment, then collecting himself, said, “I now understand the incredible ingratitude and malignity that have pointed out against me these hitherto unaccountable slanders. It is a punishment for insufficient inquiry into character. But you, sir, in common justice, will protect me from the aspersions of one who wishes to drag me down in her justly merited fall.”
The man hesitated for a moment, and then, gathering his composure, said, “I now see the unbelievable ingratitude and malice that have led to these previously unexplainable accusations against me. It’s a consequence of not looking deeply enough into someone's character. But you, sir, out of fairness, will defend me from the slanders of someone who wants to bring me down with her well-deserved downfall.”
“Sentenced for three years! To take her examination!” muttered Mrs. Dench, and with some difficulty these exclamations were silenced, and Maria Hatherton called on for her evidence.
“Sentenced to three years! To take her exam!” muttered Mrs. Dench, and with some effort, these outbursts were hushed, and Maria Hatherton was called to give her testimony.
Concise, but terrible in its clear brevity, was the story of the agent tampering with her, the nursemaid, until she had given him access to the private rooms, where he had turned over the papers. On the following day, Mr. Williams had been inquiring for his seal-ring, but she herself had not seen it again till some months after, when she had left her place, and was living in lodgings provided for her by Maddox, when she had found the ring in the drawer of his desk; her suspicion had then been first excited by his displeasure at her proposing to him to return it, thinking it merely there by accident, and she had afterwards observed him endeavouring to copy fragments of Mr. Williams’s writing. These he had crushed up and thrown aside, but she had preserved them, owning that she did not know what might come of them, and the family had been very kind to her.
The story was short but unsettlingly clear about the agent messing with her, the nursemaid, until she let him into the private rooms, where he went through the papers. The next day, Mr. Williams was asking about his seal ring, but she didn’t see it again until months later, after she had left her job and was staying in a room that Maddox had arranged for her. She found the ring in the drawer of his desk; her suspicions were first raised by his annoyance when she suggested returning it, thinking it was just there by chance. Later, she noticed him trying to copy pieces of Mr. Williams’s writing. He crumpled those up and tossed them aside, but she kept them, admitting she had no idea what they might lead to, and the family had been really good to her.
The seal and the scraps of paper were here produced by the policeman who had them in charge. The seal perfectly coincided with that which had closed the letter to Harry Beauchamp, and was, moreover, identified by both Alison and Colonel Keith. It was noticeable, too, that one of these fragments was the beginning of a note to Mr. Beauchamp, as “Dear H.” and this, though not Edward’s most usual style of addressing his friend, was repeated in the demand for the £300.
The seal and the pieces of paper were presented by the policeman who was responsible for them. The seal matched exactly with the one that had sealed the letter to Harry Beauchamp, and it was confirmed by both Alison and Colonel Keith. It was also notable that one of these fragments was the start of a note to Mr. Beauchamp, beginning with “Dear H.” While this wasn’t Edward’s usual way of addressing his friend, it was echoed in the request for the £300.
“Sir,” said the accused, “of course I have no intention of intimating that a gentleman like the Honourable Colonel Keith has been in any collusion with this unhappy woman, but it must be obvious to you that his wish to exonerate his friend has induced him to give too easy credence to this person’s malignant attempts to fasten upon one whom she might have had reason to regard as a benefactor the odium of the transactions that she acknowledges to have taken place between herself and this Maddox, thereto incited, no doubt, by some resemblance which must be strong, since it has likewise deceived Mr. Beauchamp.”
“Sir,” said the accused, “I certainly don’t mean to suggest that a gentleman like the Honorable Colonel Keith has been involved with this unfortunate woman, but it should be clear to you that his desire to defend his friend has led him to believe too readily the malicious claims of this person, who is trying to blame someone she may have seen as a benefactor for the shameful actions she admits occurred between her and this Maddox. She was prompted, no doubt, by a resemblance that must be significant, as it has also misled Mr. Beauchamp.”
Mr. Grey looked perplexed and vexed, and asked Mr. Beauchamp if he could suggest any other person able to identify Maddox. He frowned, said there must have been workmen at the factory, but knew not where they were, looked at Colin Keith, asked Alison if she or her sister had ever seen Maddox, then declared he could lay his hands on no one but Dr. Long at Belfast.
Mr. Grey looked confused and frustrated and asked Mr. Beauchamp if he could suggest anyone else who could identify Maddox. He frowned and said there must have been workers at the factory, but he didn’t know where they were. He glanced at Colin Keith, then asked Alison if she or her sister had ever seen Maddox, and finally stated that he could only reach Dr. Long in Belfast.
Mauleverer vehemently exclaimed against the injustice of detaining him till a witness could be summoned from that distance. Mr. Grey evidently had his doubts, and began to think of calling in some fresh opinion whether he had sufficient grounds for committal, and Alison’s hopes were only unstained by Colin’s undaunted looks, when there came a knock at the door, and, as much to the surprise of Alison as of every one else, there entered an elderly maid-servant, leading a little girl by the hand, and Colonel Keith going to meet the latter, said, “Do not be frightened, my dear, you have only to answer a few questions as plainly and clearly as you can.”
Mauleverer passionately protested against the unfairness of holding him until a witness could be brought from so far away. Mr. Grey clearly had his doubts and started considering getting a second opinion on whether he had enough reason for detainment, and Alison’s hopes were only kept intact by Colin’s fearless demeanor when there was a knock at the door. To the surprise of Alison and everyone else, an older maid entered, holding the hand of a little girl. Colonel Keith approached the girl and said, “Don’t be afraid, my dear, you just need to answer a few questions as clearly and honestly as you can.”
Awed, silent, and dazzled by the sudden gas-light, she clung to his hand, but evidently distinguished no one else; and he placed her close to the magistrate saying, “This is Mr. Grey, Rose, tell him your name.”
Awed, silent, and amazed by the sudden gas light, she held onto his hand, but clearly didn’t recognize anyone else; he positioned her right next to the magistrate, saying, “This is Mr. Grey, Rose, tell him your name.”
And Mr. Grey taking her hand and repeating the question, the clear little silvery voice answered,
And Mr. Grey took her hand and repeated the question, the clear little silvery voice replied,
“I am Rose Ermine Williams.”
"I'm Rose Ermine Williams."
“And how old are you, my dear?”
“And how old are you, sweetheart?”
“I was eight on the last of June.”
“I turned eight at the end of June.”
“She knows the nature of an oath?” asked Mr. Grey of the Colonel.
"Does she understand what an oath means?" Mr. Grey asked the Colonel.
“Certainly, you can soon satisfy yourself of that.”
“Sure, you can figure that out for yourself pretty soon.”
“My dear,” then said Mr. Grey, taking her by the hand again, and looking into the brown intelligent eyes, “I am sure you have been well taught. Can you tell me what is meant by taking an oath before a magistrate?”
“My dear,” Mr. Grey said, taking her hand again and looking into her bright brown eyes, “I’m sure you’ve been well educated. Can you tell me what it means to take an oath before a magistrate?”
“Yes,” said Rose, colour flushing into her face, “it is calling upon Almighty God to hear one speak the truth.” She spoke so low that she could hardly be heard, and she looked full of startled fear and distress, turning her face up to Colonel Keith with a terrified exclamation,
“Yes,” said Rose, her face flushing, “it's calling on Almighty God to hear someone speak the truth.” She spoke so softly that she could barely be heard, her expression filled with startled fear and distress as she turned to Colonel Keith with a terrified exclamation,
“Oh please, why am I here, what am I to say?”
“Oh please, why am I here, what am I supposed to say?”
He was sorry for her; but her manifest want of preparation was all in favour of the cause, and he soothed her by saying, “Only answer just what you are asked as clearly as you can, and Mr. Grey will soon let you go. He knows you would try any way to speak the truth, but as he is going to examine you as a magistrate, he must ask you to take the oath first.”
He felt sorry for her; but her obvious lack of preparation actually helped the situation, so he reassured her by saying, “Just answer exactly what you’re asked as clearly as you can, and Mr. Grey will let you go soon. He knows you’ll do your best to tell the truth, but since he’s going to question you as a magistrate, he needs to ask you to take the oath first.”
Rose repeated the oath in her innocent tones, and perhaps their solemnity or the fatherly gentleness of Mr. Grey reassured her, for her voice trembled much less when she answered his next inquiry, who her parents were.
Rose recited the oath in her pure voice, and maybe the seriousness or the fatherly kindness of Mr. Grey comforted her, because her voice shook much less when she replied to his next question about who her parents were.
“My mother is dead,” she said; “my father is Mr Williams, he is away at Ekaterinburg.”
“My mom is dead,” she said; “my dad is Mr. Williams, and he’s away in Ekaterinburg.”
“Do you remember any time before he was at Ekaterinburg?”
“Do you remember any time before he got to Ekaterinburg?”
“Oh yes; when we lived at Kensington, and he had the patent glass works.”
“Oh yes; when we lived in Kensington and he had the patented glass factory.”
“Now, turn round and say if there is any one here whom you know?”
“Now, turn around and let me know if there’s anyone here you recognize?”
Rose, who had hitherto stood facing Mr. Grey, with her back to the rest of the room, obeyed, and at once exclaimed, “Aunt Alison,” then suddenly recoiled, and grasped at the Colonel.
Rose, who had been facing Mr. Grey with her back to the rest of the room, complied and immediately exclaimed, “Aunt Alison,” then abruptly pulled back and reached for the Colonel.
“What is it, my dear?”
“What’s up, my dear?”
“It is—it is Mr. Maddox,” and with another gasp of fright, “and Maria! Oh, let me go.”
“It is—it is Mr. Maddox,” and with another gasp of fear, “and Maria! Oh, let me go.”
But Mr. Grey put his arm round her, and assured her that no one could harm her, Colonel Keith let his fingers be very hard pinched, and her aunt came nearer, all telling her that she had only to make her answers distinctly; and though still shrinking, she could reply to Mr. Grey’s question whom she meant by Mr. Maddox.
But Mr. Grey wrapped his arm around her and assured her that no one could hurt her. Colonel Keith squeezed her fingers tightly, and her aunt stepped closer, all encouraging her to speak clearly. Although she still felt hesitant, she managed to answer Mr. Grey's question about who she was referring to as Mr. Maddox.
“The agent for the glass—my father’s agent.”
“The agent for the glass—my dad’s agent.”
“And who is Maria?”
“Who is Maria?”
“She was my nurse.”
“She was my caregiver.”
“When did you last see the person you call Mr. Maddox?”
“When did you last see the person you call Mr. Maddox?”
“Last time, I was sure of it, was when I was walking on the esplanade at Avoncester with Colonel Keith,” said Rose, very anxious to turn aside and render her words inaudible.
“Last time I was certain of it was when I was strolling on the boardwalk at Avoncester with Colonel Keith,” Rose said, eager to change the subject and make her words unclear.
“I suppose you can hardly tell when that was?”
“I guess you can barely tell when that was?”
“Yes, it was the day before you went away to Lord Keith’s wedding,” said Rose, looking to the Colonel.
“Yes, it was the day before you left for Lord Keith’s wedding,” Rose said, glancing at the Colonel.
“Had you seen him before?”
"Have you seen him before?"
“Twice when I was out by myself, but it frightened me so that I never looked again.”
“Twice when I was out alone, it scared me so much that I never looked again.”
“Can you give me any guide to the time?”
“Can you tell me the time?”
She was clear that it had been after Colonel Keith’s first stay at Avonmouth, but that was all, and being asked if she had ever mentioned these meetings, “Only when Colonel Keith saw how frightened I was, and asked me.”
She was sure that it had been after Colonel Keith’s first visit to Avonmouth, but that was all she knew. When asked if she had ever talked about these meetings, she replied, “Only when Colonel Keith noticed how scared I was, and asked me.”
“Why were you frightened?” asked Mr. Grey, on a hint from the Colonel.
“Why were you scared?” asked Mr. Grey, following a suggestion from the Colonel.
“Because I could not quite leave off believing the dreadful things Mr. Maddox and Maria said they would do to me if I told.”
“Because I just couldn't shake the fear of the terrible things Mr. Maddox and Maria said they would do to me if I spoke up.”
“Told what?”
"What did you say?"
“About Mr. Maddox coming and walking with Maria when she was out with me,” gasped Rose, trying to avert her head, and not comforted by hearing Mr. Grey repeat her words to those tormentors of her infancy.
“About Mr. Maddox coming and walking with Maria when she was out with me,” gasped Rose, trying to turn her head away, and not reassured by hearing Mr. Grey repeat her words to those tormentors from her childhood.
A little encouragement, however, brought out the story of the phosphoric letters, the lions, and the vision of Maddox growling in the dressing-room. The date of the apparition could hardly be hoped for, but fortunately Rose remembered that it was two days before her mamma’s birthday, because she had felt it so bard to be eaten up before the fete, and this date tallied with that given by Maria of her admitting her treacherous admirer into the private rooms.
A bit of encouragement, though, revealed the story about the glowing letters, the lions, and the vision of Maddox growling in the dressing room. The exact date of the sighting was uncertain, but luckily Rose recalled it was two days before her mom’s birthday, since she found it so hard to think about being devoured before the celebration. This date matched the one Maria provided about letting her deceitful admirer into the private rooms.
“The young lady may be precocious, no doubt, sir,” here said the accused, “but I hardly see why she has been brought here. You can attach no weight to the confused recollections of so young a child, of matters that took place so long ago.”
“The young lady might be advanced for her age, no doubt, sir,” the accused said, “but I really don’t understand why she’s been brought here. You can’t give any credibility to the muddled memories of such a young child about events that happened so long ago.”
“The question will be what weight the jury will attach to them at the assizes,” said Mr. Grey.
“The question will be how much importance the jury will give them at the trials,” said Mr. Grey.
“You will permit me to make one inquiry of the young lady, sir. Who told her whom she might expect to see here?”
“You'll let me ask the young lady one question, sir. Who told her who she could expect to see here?”
Mr. Grey repeated the query, and Rose answered, “Nobody; I knew my aunt and the Colonel and Lady Temple were gone in to Avoncester, and Aunt Ermine got a note from the Colonel to say that I was to come in to him with Tibbie in a fly.”
Mr. Grey asked the question again, and Rose replied, “Nobody; I knew my aunt, the Colonel, and Lady Temple had gone into Avoncester, and Aunt Ermine received a note from the Colonel saying that I was to come in to see him with Tibbie in a cab.”
“Did you know what you were wanted for?”
“Did you know why you were being sought after?”
“No, I could not think. I only knew they came to get the woman punished for being so cruel to the poor little girls.”
“No, I couldn’t think. I just knew they were there to punish the woman for being so mean to the poor little girls.”
“Do you know who that person was?”
“Do you know who that person is?”
“Mrs. Rawlins,” was the ready answer.
“Mrs. Rawlins,” was the quick reply.
“I think,” said Mr. Grey to the accused, “that you must perceive that, with such coincidence of testimony as I have here, I have no alternative but to commit you for the summer assizes.”
“I think,” said Mr. Grey to the accused, “that you must realize that, based on the strong match in testimony I have here, I have no choice but to send you for the summer assizes.”
Mauleverer murmured something about an action for false imprisonment, but he did not make it clear, and he was evidently greatly crestfallen. He had no doubt hoped to brazen out his assumed character sufficiently to disconcert Mr. Beauchamp’s faith in his own memory, and though he had carried on the same game after being confronted with Maria, it was already becoming desperate. He had not reckoned upon her deserting his cause even for her own sake, and the last chance of employing her antecedents to discredit her testimony, had been overthrown by Rose’s innocent witness to their mutual relations, a remembrance which had been burnt in on her childish memory by the very means taken to secure her silence. When the depositions were read over, their remarkable and independent accordance was most striking; Mrs. Dench had already been led away by the minister, in time to catch her train, just when her sobs of indignation at the deception were growing too demonstrative, and the policeman resumed the charge of Maria Hatherton.
Mauleverer murmured something about a lawsuit for false imprisonment, but he didn’t explain clearly, and he was obviously very disappointed. He probably hoped to act his way through his made-up character enough to shake Mr. Beauchamp’s confidence in his own recollections, and although he had continued the same act after being confronted by Maria, it was becoming increasingly desperate. He hadn't anticipated her abandoning his cause, even for her own sake, and his last chance to use her past to cast doubt on her testimony was wiped out by Rose’s honest confirmation of their mutual relations, a memory that had been imprinted on her young mind by the very actions taken to ensure her silence. When the statements were read out, their remarkable and independent agreement was striking; Mrs. Dench had already been led away by the minister in time to catch her train, just when her sobs of outrage at the trickery were becoming too noticeable, and the policeman took charge of Maria Hatherton again.
Little Rose looked up to her, saying, “Please, Aunt Ailie, may I speak to her?”
Little Rose looked up at her and said, “Please, Aunt Ailie, can I talk to her?”
Alison had been sitting restless and perplexed between impulses of pity and repulsion, and doubts about the etiquette of the justice room; but her heart yearned over the girl she had cherished, and she signed permission to Rose, whose timidity had given way amid excitement and encouragement.
Alison had been sitting anxiously and confused, torn between feelings of sympathy and disgust, while unsure about the proper behavior in the justice room. But her heart went out to the girl she had loved, and she signed permission for Rose, whose shyness had faded in the midst of excitement and support.
“Please, Maria,” she said, “don’t be angry with me for telling; I never did till Colonel Keith asked me, and I could not help it. Will you kiss me and forgive me as you used?”
“Please, Maria,” she said, “don’t be mad at me for telling; I never did until Colonel Keith asked me, and I couldn’t help it. Will you kiss me and forgive me like you used to?”
The hard fierce eyes, that had not wept over the child’s coffin, filled with tears.
The intense, fierce eyes that hadn't shed a tear over the child's coffin now filled with tears.
“Oh, Miss Rose, Miss Rose, do not come near me. Oh, if I had minded you—and your aunts—” And the pent-up misery of the life that had fallen lower and lower since the first step in evil, found its course in a convulsive sob and shriek, so grievous that Alison was thankful for Colin’s promptitude in laying hold of Rose, and leading her out of the room before him. Alison felt obliged to follow, yet could not bear to leave Maria to policemen and prison warders.
“Oh, Miss Rose, Miss Rose, don’t come near me. Oh, if I had listened to you—and your aunts—” And the bottled-up pain of a life that had continued to spiral downward since the first bad decision erupted in a violent sob and scream, so heartbreaking that Alison was grateful for Colin’s quick action in grabbing Rose and guiding her out of the room ahead of him. Alison felt she had to follow, yet couldn’t stand to leave Maria to the police and prison guards.
“Maria, poor Maria, I am so sorry for you, I will try to come and see you—”
“Maria, poor Maria, I’m really sorry for you. I’ll try to come and see you—”
But her hand was seized with an imperative, “Ailie, you must come, they are all waiting for you.”
But her hand was grabbed with an urgent, “Ailie, you have to come, they’re all waiting for you.”
How little had she thought her arm would ever be drawn into that arm, so unheeded by both.
How little did she think her arm would ever end up intertwined with that arm, so overlooked by both.
“So that is Edward’s little girl! Why, she is the sweetest little clear-headed thing I have seen a long time. She was the saving of us.”
“So that’s Edward’s little girl! Wow, she’s the sweetest, most level-headed kid I’ve seen in a long time. She really saved us.”
“It was well thought of by Colin.”
“It was highly regarded by Colin.”
“Colin is a lawyer spoilt—that’s a fact. A first-rate get-up of a case!”
“Colin is a spoiled lawyer—that’s a fact. A top-notch setup for a case!”
“And you think it safe now?”
“And you think it's safe now?”
“Nothing safer, so Edward turns up. How he can keep away from such a child as that, I can’t imagine. Where is she? Oh, here—” as they came into the porch in fuller light, where the Colonel and Rose waited for them. “Ha, my little Ailie, I must make better friends with you.”
“Nothing’s safer, so Edward shows up. I can’t imagine how he can stay away from a kid like that. Where is she? Oh, here—” as they entered the porch in better light, where the Colonel and Rose were waiting for them. “Hey, my little Ailie, I need to get on better terms with you.”
“My name is Rose, not Ailie,” replied the little girl.
“My name is Rose, not Ailie,” the little girl replied.
“Oh, aye! Well, it ought to have been, what d’ye call her—that was a Daniel come to judgment?”
“Oh, yeah! Well, it should've been, what do you call her—that was a Daniel come to judgment?”
“Portia,” returned Rose; “but I don’t think that is pretty at all.”
“Portia,” Rose replied, “but I don’t think that’s pretty at all.”
“And where is Lady Temple?” anxiously asked Alison. “She must be grieved to be detained so long.”
“And where is Lady Temple?” Alison asked anxiously. “She must be upset to be held up for so long.”
“Oh! Lady Temple is well provided for,” said the Colonel, “all the magistrates and half the bar are at her feet. They say the grace and simplicity of her manner of giving her evidence were the greatest contrast to poor Rachel’s.”
“Oh! Lady Temple is well taken care of,” said the Colonel, “all the judges and half the lawyers are at her feet. They say her graceful and straightforward way of giving evidence is the complete opposite of poor Rachel’s.”
“But where is she?” still persisted Alison.
“But where is she?” Alison kept asking.
“At the hotel; Maria’s was the last case of the day, and she went away directly after it, with such a choice of escorts that I only just spoke to her.”
“At the hotel; Maria was the last case of the day, and she left right after it, accompanied by so many people that I barely got a chance to talk to her.”
And at the hotel they found the waggonette at the gateway, and Lady Temple in the parlour with Sir Edward Morden, who, late as it was, would not leave her till he had seen her with the rest of the party. She sprang up to meet them, and was much relieved to hear that Mauleverer was again secured. “Otherwise,” she said, “it would have been all my fault for having acted without asking advice. I hope I shall never do so again.”
And at the hotel, they found the carriage at the entrance, with Lady Temple in the lounge alongside Sir Edward Morden, who, even though it was late, wouldn’t leave until he had seen her with the rest of the group. She got up to greet them, feeling relieved to learn that Mauleverer was safe again. “Otherwise,” she said, “it would have been all my fault for acting without asking for advice. I hope I never do that again.”
She insisted that all should go home together in the waggonette, and Rose found herself upon Mr. Beauchamp’s knee, serving as usual as a safety valve for the feelings of her aunt’s admirers. There was no inconstancy on her part, she would much have preferred falling to the lot of her own Colonel, but the open carriage drive was rather a risk for him in the night air, and though he had undertaken it in the excitement, he soon found it requisite to muffle himself up, and speak as little as possible. Harry Beauchamp talked enough for both. He was in high spirits, partly, as Colin suspected, with the escape from a dull formal home, and partly with the undoing of a wrong that had rankled in his conscience more than he had allowed to himself. Lady Temple, her heart light at the convalescence of her sons, was pleased with everything, liked him extremely, and answered gaily; and Alison enjoyed the resumption of pleasant habits of days gone by. Yet, delightful as it all was, there was a sense of disenchantment: she was marvelling all the time how she could have suffered so much on Harry Beauchamp’s account. The rejection of him had weighed like a stone upon her heart, but now it seemed like freedom to have escaped his companionship for a lifetime.
She insisted that everyone should go home together in the carriage, and Rose found herself sitting on Mr. Beauchamp's lap, acting as she usually did as a safety valve for her aunt's admirers. She didn't waver; she would have much preferred being with her own Colonel, but the open carriage ride was a bit risky for him in the night air. Although he had agreed to it in the excitement, he soon found it necessary to wrap himself up and speak as little as possible. Harry Beauchamp talked enough for both of them. He was in high spirits, partly because, as Colin suspected, he was relieved to escape from a dull, formal home, and partly because he was finally addressing a wrongdoing that had bothered him more than he had admitted. Lady Temple, feeling lighthearted about the recovery of her sons, was pleased with everything, really liked him, and responded cheerfully; Alison enjoyed the return to the pleasant habits of days gone by. Yet, as delightful as it all was, there was a sense of disillusionment: she kept wondering how she could have suffered so much over Harry Beauchamp. Rejecting him had felt like a heavy burden on her heart, but now it felt liberating to have escaped his company for good.
Presently a horse’s feet were heard on the road before them; there was a meeting and a halt, and Alick Keith’s voice called out—“How has it gone?”
Currently, they heard horse hooves on the road ahead; there was a gathering and a stop, and Alick Keith's voice rang out—"How did it go?"
“Why, were you not in court?”
"Weren't you in court?"
“What! I go to hear my friends baited!”
“What! I go to listen to my friends getting insulted!”
“Where were you then?”
"Where were you back then?"
“At Avonmouth.”
"At Avonmouth."
“Oh, then you have seen the boys,” cried Lady Temple. “How is Conrade?”
“Oh, so you’ve seen the boys,” exclaimed Lady Temple. “How’s Conrade?”
“Quite himself. Up to a prodigious amount of indoor croquet. But how has it gone?”
“Just himself. Into a huge amount of indoor croquet. But how did it go?”
“Such a shame!” returned Lady Temple. “They acquitted the dreadful man, and the poor woman, whom he drove to it, has a year’s imprisonment and hard labour!”
“Such a shame!” replied Lady Temple. “They let the horrible man go free, and the poor woman, whom he pushed to this, is getting a year in prison with hard labor!”
“Acquitted! What, is he off?”
“Acquitted! Wait, is he free?”
“Oh, no, no! he is safe, and waiting for the Assizes, all owing to the Colonel and little Rose.”
“Oh, no, no! He’s safe and waiting for the trial, thanks to the Colonel and little Rose.”
“He is committed for the former offence,” said Colonel Keith; “the important one.”
“He's being held for the earlier offense,” said Colonel Keith; “the significant one.”
“That’s right! Good night! And how,” he added, reining back his horse, “did your cousin get through it?”
"That's right! Good night! And by the way," he said, pulling his horse back, "how did your cousin manage it?"
“Oh, they were so hard on her!” cried Lady Temple. “I could hardly bring myself to speak to Sir Edward after it! It was as if he thought it all her fault!”
“Oh, they were so tough on her!” exclaimed Lady Temple. “I could barely bring myself to talk to Sir Edward after that! It was like he thought it was all her fault!”
“Her evidence broke down completely,” said Colonel Keith. “Sir Edward spared her as much as he could; but the absurdity of her whole conduct was palpable. I hope she has had a lesson.”
“Her evidence fell apart entirely,” said Colonel Keith. “Sir Edward did his best to protect her, but the ridiculousness of her actions was obvious. I hope she learned a lesson.”
Alick’s impatient horse flew on with him, and Colin muttered to Alison under his mufflers,—“I never could make out whether that is the coolest or the most sensitive fellow living!”
Alick’s impatient horse sped along with him, and Colin muttered to Alison under his scarves, “I could never figure out if he’s the coolest or the most sensitive guy alive!”
CHAPTER XXII. THE AFTER CLAP
“I have read in the marvellous heart of man, That strange and mystic scroll, That an army of phantoms vast and wan Beleaguer the human soul. “Encamped beside life’s rushing stream, In Fancy’s misty light, Gigantic shapes and shadows gleam Portentous through the night.” The Beleaguered City, LONGFELLOW.
“I have read in the marvelous heart of man, That strange and mystical scroll, That an army of vast and pale phantoms Surrounds the human soul. “Set up beside life’s rushing stream, In Fancy’s hazy light, Gigantic shapes and shadows gleam Menacing through the night.” The Beleaguered City, LONGFELLOW.
A dinner party at the Deanery in the sessions week was an institution, but Rachel, lying on the sofa in a cool room, had thought herself exempt from it, and was conscious for the time of but one wish, namely, to be let alone, and to be able to shut her eyes, without finding the lids, as it were, lined with tiers of gazing faces, and curious looks turned on her, and her ears from the echo of the roar of fury that had dreadfully terrified both her and her mother, and she felt herself to have merited! The crush of public censure was not at the moment so overwhelming as the strange morbid effect of having been the focus of those many, many glances, and if she reflected at all, it was with a weary speculating wonder whether one pair of dark grey eyes had been among those levelled at her. She thought that if they had, she could not have missed either their ironical sting, or perchance some kindly gleam of sympathy, such as had sometimes surprised her from under the flaxen lashes.
A dinner party at the Deanery during session week was a tradition, but Rachel, stretched out on the sofa in a cool room, thought she was free from it. All she wanted in that moment was to be left alone and to close her eyes without feeling like they were lined with rows of staring faces and curious looks directed at her. The loud echo of the furious crowd had terrified both her and her mother, and she felt she deserved it! The weight of public criticism wasn't as overwhelming as the strange, unsettling feeling of being the center of so many glances. If she thought about it at all, it was with tired curiosity, wondering if a pair of dark grey eyes had been among those looking at her. She believed that if they had been, she wouldn't have missed either the sarcastic sting or perhaps a kind look of sympathy that had sometimes come from beneath those flaxen lashes.
There she had lain, unmolested and conscious of a certain relief in the exceeding calm; the grey pinnacle of the cathedral, and a few branches of an elm-tree alone meeting her eye through the open window, and the sole sound the cawing of the rooks, whose sailing flight amused and attracted her glance from time to time with dreamy interest. Grace had gone into court to hear Maria Hatherton’s trial, and all was still.
There she lay, undisturbed and feeling a sense of relief in the complete quiet; the grey spire of the cathedral and a few branches of an elm tree were the only things she could see through the open window, and the only sound was the cawing of the rooks, whose gliding flight caught her eye from time to time with dreamy fascination. Grace had gone into court to listen to Maria Hatherton’s trial, and everything was calm.
The first break was when her mother and Miss Wellwood came in, after having wandered gently together round the warm, walled Deanery garden, comparing notes about their myrtles and geraniums. Then it was that amid all their tender inquiries after her headache, and their administration of afternoon tea, it first broke upon Rachel that they expected her to go down to dinner.
The first break came when her mother and Miss Wellwood entered, having strolled leisurely around the warm, enclosed Deanery garden, chatting about their myrtles and geraniums. It was then, amidst all their caring questions about her headache and their serving of afternoon tea, that Rachel realized they expected her to join them for dinner.
“Pray excuse me,” she said imploringly, looking at her mother for support, “indeed, I don’t know that I could sit out a dinner! A number of people together make me so dizzy and confused.”
“Please forgive me,” she said earnestly, looking at her mother for support, “honestly, I don’t think I could handle sitting through a dinner! Being around so many people makes me feel dizzy and overwhelmed.”
“Poor child!” said Miss Wellwood, kindly, but looking to Mrs. Curtis in her turn. “Perhaps, as she has been so ill, the evening might be enough.”
“Poor thing!” said Miss Wellwood, kindly, but glancing at Mrs. Curtis in her turn. “Maybe, since she’s been so sick, the evening might be enough.”
“Oh,” exclaimed Rachel, “I hope to be in bed before you have finished dinner. Indeed I am not good company for any one.”
“Oh,” Rachel exclaimed, “I hope to be in bed before you finish dinner. Honestly, I'm not great company for anyone.”
“Don’t say that, my dear,” and Miss Wellwood looked puzzled.
“Don’t say that, my dear,” Miss Wellwood said, looking confused.
“Indeed, my dear,” said Mrs. Curtis, evidently distressed, “I think the exertion would be good for you, if you could only think so.”
“Honestly, my dear,” said Mrs. Curtis, clearly upset, “I believe that getting some exercise would be beneficial for you, if only you could see it that way.”
“Yes, indeed,” said Miss Wellwood, catching at the notion; “it is your mind that needs the distraction, my dear.”
“Yes, definitely,” said Miss Wellwood, picking up on the idea; “it’s your mind that needs a distraction, my dear.”
“I am distracted enough already,” poor Rachel said, putting her hand up. “Indeed, I do not want to be disobliging,” she said, interpreting her mother’s anxious gestures to mean that she was wanting in civility; “it is very kind in you, Miss Wellwood, but this has been a very trying day, and I am sure I can give no pleasure to anybody, so if I might only be let off.”
“I’m already distracted enough,” poor Rachel said, raising her hand. “Honestly, I don’t want to be rude,” she added, interpreting her mother’s worried gestures as a hint that she needed to be more polite; “it’s really kind of you, Miss Wellwood, but it’s been a really tough day, and I know I can’t bring anyone any joy, so if I could just be excused.”
“It is not so much—” began Miss Wellwood, getting into a puzzle, and starting afresh. “Indeed, my dear, my brother and I could not bear that you should do anything you did not like, only you see it would never do for you to seem to want to shut yourself up.”
“It’s not really—” started Miss Wellwood, getting confused and trying again. “Honestly, my dear, my brother and I couldn’t stand the thought of you doing anything you didn’t enjoy, but you see, it wouldn’t be right for you to look like you wanted to isolate yourself.”
“I should think all the world must feel as if I ought to be shut up for life,” said Rachel, dejectedly.
“I think everyone must feel that I should be locked away for life,” said Rachel, feeling down.
“Ah! but that is the very thing. If you do not show yourself it will make such a talk.”
“Ah! but that's exactly the problem. If you don’t show up, it’ll create a lot of chatter.”
Rachel had nearly said, “Let them talk;” but though she felt tormented to death, habitual respect to these two gentle, nervous, elderly women made her try to be courteous, and she said, “Indeed, I cannot much care, provided I don’t hear them.”
Rachel had almost said, “Let them talk;” but even though she felt completely tormented, her usual respect for these two delicate, anxious, older women made her try to be polite, so she replied, “Honestly, I don't care much as long as I don't have to hear them.”
“Ah! but you don’t know, my dear,” said Mrs. Curtis, seeing her friend looked dismayed at this indifference. “Indeed, dear Miss Wellwood, she does not know; we thought it would be so awkward for her in court.”
“Ah! but you don’t understand, my dear,” said Mrs. Curtis, noticing her friend looked upset by this indifference. “Really, dear Miss Wellwood, she has no idea; we thought it would be so uncomfortable for her in court.”
“Know what?” exclaimed Rachel, sitting upright, and putting down her feet. “What have you been keeping from me?”
“Guess what?” Rachel exclaimed, sitting up straight and putting her feet down. “What have you been hiding from me?”
“Only—only, my dear, people will say such things, and nobody could think it that knew you.”
“Only—only, my dear, people will say those things, and no one who knows you could ever think that.”
“What?” demanded Rachel.
"What?" asked Rachel.
“Yes,” said Mrs. Curtis, perhaps, since her daughter was to have the shock, rather glad to have a witness to the surprise it caused her: “you know people will gossip, and some one has put it about that—that this horrid man was—”
“Yes,” said Mrs. Curtis, maybe feeling a bit relieved to have someone witness her daughter's shock: “you know how people gossip, and someone has spread the word that—that this awful man was—”
Mrs. Curtis paused, Miss Wellwood was as pink as her cap strings. Rachel grasped the meaning at last. “Oh!” she said, with less reticence than her elders, “there must needs be a spice of flirtation to give piquancy to the mess of gossip! I don’t wonder, there are plenty of people who judge others by themselves, and think that motive must underlie everything! I wonder who imagines that I am fallen so low?”
Mrs. Curtis paused; Miss Wellwood was as pink as her cap strings. Rachel finally understood. “Oh!” she said, with less hesitation than the adults, “there has to be a bit of flirtation to make the gossip more interesting! I’m not surprised; a lot of people judge others based on themselves and think there must be some motive behind everything! I wonder who thinks I’ve sunk so low?”
“There, I knew she would take it in that way,” said Mrs. Curtis. “And so you understand us, my dear, we could not bear to ask you to do anything so distressing except for your own sake.”
“See, I knew she would take it that way,” said Mrs. Curtis. “So you understand us, my dear, we couldn’t bear to ask you to do anything so upsetting unless it was for your own good.”
“I am far past caring for my own sake,” said Rachel, “but for yours and Grace’s, mother, I will give as much ocular demonstration as I can, that I am not pining for this hero with a Norman name. I own I should have thought none of the Dean’s friends would have needed to be convinced.”
“I don’t care about myself anymore,” Rachel said, “but for you and Grace, Mom, I’ll do everything I can to show that I’m not longing for this hero with a Norman name. I admit I never thought any of the Dean’s friends would need to be convinced.”
“Oh, no! no! but—” Miss Wellwood made a great confusion of noes, buts, and my dears, and Mrs. Curtis came to the rescue. “After all, my love, one can’t so much wonder! You have always been very peculiar, you know, and so clever, and you took up this so eagerly. And then the Greys saw you so unwilling to prosecute. And—and I have always allowed you too much liberty—ever since your poor dear papa was taken—and now it has come upon you, my poor child! Oh, I hope dear Fanny will take warning by me,” and off went poor Mrs. Curtis into a fit of sobs.
“Oh, no! No! But—” Miss Wellwood stumbled over a mix of noes, buts, and my dears, and Mrs. Curtis stepped in to help. “After all, my dear, it’s not that surprising! You’ve always been quite unique, you know, and so smart, and you were so eager about this. Plus, the Greys noticed how hesitant you were to go through with it. And—I’ve always given you too much freedom—ever since your poor dad passed away—and now it’s hit you, my poor child! Oh, I hope dear Fanny learns from my mistakes,” and with that, poor Mrs. Curtis broke down in tears.
“Mother—mother! this is worse than anything,” exclaimed Rachel in an agony, springing to her feet, and flying after sal volatile, but feeling frightfully helpless without Grace, the manager of all Mrs. Curtis’s ailments and troubles. Grace would have let her quietly cry it out. Rachel’s remedies and incoherent protestations of all being her own fault only made things worse, and perhaps those ten minutes were the most overwhelming of all the griefs that Rachel had brought on herself. However, what with Miss Wellwood’s soothing, and her own sense of the becoming, Mrs. Curtis struggled herself into composure again by the time the maid came to dress them for dinner; Rachel all the while longing for Grace’s return, not so much for the sake of hearing the verdict, as of knowing whether the mother ought to be allowed to go down to dinner, so shaken did she look; for indeed, besides her distress for her daughter, no small ingredient in her agitation was this recurrence to a stated custom of her husband’s magisterial days.
“Mom—Mom! This is worse than anything,” Rachel shouted in distress, jumping to her feet and rushing to get some smelling salts, but feeling completely helpless without Grace, who managed all of Mrs. Curtis’s problems and issues. Grace would have just let her cry it out. Rachel’s attempts to fix things and her rambling claims that it was all her fault only made everything worse, and maybe those ten minutes were the hardest of all the troubles Rachel had caused herself. However, with Miss Wellwood’s calming presence and her own awareness of how to act, Mrs. Curtis managed to regain her composure by the time the maid came to get them ready for dinner; Rachel, all the while, wishing for Grace’s return, not just to hear her opinion, but to know whether her mother should go down for dinner, as she looked so shaken; for besides her worry for her daughter, part of her agitation was tied to the reminder of a certain routine from her husband’s authoritative days.
Persuasion was unavailing. At any cost the Curtis family must present an unassailable front to the public eye, and if Mrs. Curtis had forced forward her much tried and suffering daughter, far more would she persist in devoting herself to gaiety and indifference, but her nervousness was exceeding, and betrayed itself in a continual wearying for Grace, without whom neither her own dress nor Rachel’s could be arranged to her satisfaction, and she was absolutely incapable of not worrying Rachel about every fold, every plait, every bow, in a manner that from any one else would have been unbearable; but those tears had frightened Rachel into a penitent submission that endured with an absolute semblance of cheerfulness each of these torments. The languor and exhaustion had been driven away, and feverish excitement had set in, not so much from the spirit of defiance that the two elder ladies had expected to excite, as from the having been goaded into a reckless determination to sustain her part. No matter for the rest.
Persuasion didn’t work. The Curtis family had to show a strong front to the public, and even if Mrs. Curtis had pushed her overly tested and suffering daughter forward, she would be even more committed to acting cheerful and indifferent. But her anxiety was overwhelming, constantly manifesting in her weariness for Grace, without whom she couldn't get either her own dress or Rachel’s to look right. She couldn't help but worry Rachel about every fold, every pleat, every bow, in a way that would have been unbearable coming from anyone else; but those tears had scared Rachel into an apologetic submission that lasted with a fake cheerfulness through all these annoyances. The lethargy and exhaustion had faded away, replaced by a frantic energy, not so much from the spirit of defiance that the two older ladies had expected to provoke, but from being pushed into a reckless determination to play her part. Nothing else mattered.
It often happened in these parties that the ladies would come in from the country in reasonable time, while their lords would be detained much later in court, so when the cathedral clock had given notice of the half-hour, Mrs. Curtis began to pick up fan and handkerchief, and prepare to descend. Rachel suggested there would be no occasion so to do till Grace’s return, since it was plain that no one could yet be released.
It often happened at these parties that the ladies would arrive from the countryside at a reasonable time, while their husbands would be held up much longer in court. So, when the cathedral clock chimed the half-hour, Mrs. Curtis started to gather her fan and handkerchief, getting ready to leave. Rachel suggested that there was no need to do that until Grace returned, since it was clear that no one could be freed just yet.
“Yes, my dear, but perhaps—don’t you think it might be remarked as if you chose to keep out of sight?”
“Yes, my dear, but perhaps—don’t you think it might seem like you’re choosing to stay out of sight?”
“Oh, very well.”
"Oh, fine."
Rachel followed her mother down, sustained by one hope, that Captain Keith would be there. No; the Deanery did not greatly patronize the barracks; there was not much chance of any gentleman under forty, except, perhaps, in the evening. And at present the dean himself and one canon were the entire gentleman element among some dozen ladies. Everybody knew that the cause of delay was the trial of the cruel matron, and added to the account of Rachel’s iniquities their famished and weary state of expectation, the good Dean gyrating among the groups, trying to make conversation, which every one felt too fretful and too hungry to sustain with spirit. Rachel sat it out, trying to talk whenever she saw her mother’s anxious eyes upon her, but failing in finding anything to say, and much doubting whether her neighbours liked talking to her.
Rachel followed her mother down, fueled by one hope: that Captain Keith would be there. No, the Deanery didn't really interact with the barracks; there wasn't much chance of seeing any gentleman under forty, except maybe in the evening. Right now, the dean himself and one canon were the only gentlemen among a dozen ladies. Everyone knew that the reason for the delay was the trial of the cruel matron, and adding to Rachel's troubles was the tired and hungry atmosphere. The good Dean was moving between the groups, trying to spark conversations, but everyone felt too anxious and hungry to engage meaningfully. Rachel stayed put, trying to chat whenever she caught her mother’s worried gaze on her, but struggling to find anything to say, and doubting whether her neighbors even wanted to talk to her.
At last gentlemen began to appear in twos and threes, and each made some confidence to the womankind that first absorbed him, but no one came in Rachel’s way, and the girl beside her became too unfeignedly curious to support even the semblance of conversation, but listened for scraps of intelligence. Something was flying about respecting “a gentleman who came down by the train,” and something about “Lady Temple” and “admirable,” and the young lady seized the first opportunity of deserting Rachel, and plunging into the melee. Rachel sat on, sick with suspense, feeling utterly unable to quit her seat. Still they waited, the whole of the party were not arrived, and here was the curfew ringing, and that at the Deanery, which always felt injured if it were seven o’clock before people were in the dining-room! Grace must be upstairs dressing, but to reach her was impossible!
Finally, men started to show up in pairs and small groups, each sharing some thoughts with the women who caught their attention, but no one approached Rachel. The girl next to her became so genuinely curious that she couldn’t even pretend to maintain a conversation, instead listening intently for bits of information. There were rumors floating around about “a gentleman who arrived by train,” and something regarding “Lady Temple” and “remarkable.” The young lady took the first chance to leave Rachel and dive into the crowd. Rachel remained seated, filled with anxiety, feeling completely unable to leave her spot. They continued to wait; the entire group hadn’t assembled yet, and the curfew was ringing, particularly at the Deanery, which always felt slighted if it wasn’t seven o'clock before the dining room was filled! Grace must be upstairs getting ready, but getting to her was impossible!
At last Mr. Grey was announced, and he had mercy upon Rachel; he came up to her as soon as he could without making her remarkable, and told her the cause of his delay had been the necessity of committing Mauleverer upon an accusation by a relation of Colonel Keith, of very extensive frauds upon Miss Williams’s brother. Rachel’s illness and the caution of the Williamses had prevented her from being fully aware of the complication of their affairs with her own, and she became paler and paler, as she listened to the partial explanation, though she was hardly able as yet to understand it.
At last, Mr. Grey was announced, and he took pity on Rachel; he approached her as soon as he could without drawing attention to her, and explained that his delay was due to having to address an accusation made by a relative of Colonel Keith, involving significant frauds against Miss Williams’s brother. Rachel's illness and the Williamses' caution had kept her from fully grasping the complications in their situation alongside her own, and she grew paler and paler as she listened to the incomplete explanation, even though she could hardly comprehend it yet.
“The woman?” she asked.
“The woman?” she inquired.
“Sentenced to a year’s imprisonment with hard labour, and let me tell you, Rachel, you had a most narrow escape there! If that army doctor had not come in time to see the child alive, they could not have chosen but have an inquest, and no mortal can tell what might have been the decision about your homoeopathy. You might have been looking forward to a worse business than this at the next assizes.”
“Sentenced to a year in prison with hard labor, and let me tell you, Rachel, you really had a close call! If that army doctor hadn't arrived just in time to see the child alive, they would have had to hold an inquest, and no one knows what the outcome could have been regarding your homeopathy. You could have been facing something much worse at the next court session.”
Mr. Grey had done his work at last! The long waiting, the weary constraint, and at last the recurrence of Lovedy’s sufferings and her own share in them, entirely overcame her. Mists danced before her eyes, and the very sensation that had been so studiously avoided was produced by her fainting helplessly away in her chair, while Mr. Grey was talking to her.
Mr. Grey had finally finished his work! The long wait, the exhausting restraint, and the return of Lovedy’s suffering, along with her own involvement in it, completely overwhelmed her. Fog swirled in front of her eyes, and the very feeling she had tried so hard to avoid hit her as she fainted helplessly in her chair while Mr. Grey was talking to her.
To be sure it brought deliverance from the multitude, and she awoke in the quiet of her room, upon her bed, in the midst of the despairing compunction of the mother, and the tender cares of Grace, but she was too utterly overdone for even this to be much relief to her; and downstairs poor Miss Wellwood’s one desire was to hinder the spread of the report that her swoon had been caused by the tidings of Mauleverer’s apprehension. It seemed as if nothing else had been wanting to make the humiliation and exposure complete. Rachel had despised fainting ladies, and had really hitherto been so superabundant in strength that she had no experience of the symptoms, or she might have escaped in time. But there she lay, publicly censured before the dignitaries of her county for moral folly, and entirely conquered before the rest of the world by the physical weakness she had most contemned.
She definitely found some relief from the crowd, and she woke up in the calm of her room, on her bed, surrounded by her mother’s despairing worry and Grace’s gentle care. But she was so completely drained that this hardly helped her. Meanwhile, poor Miss Wellwood was desperate to stop the rumor that her fainting spell was triggered by the news of Mauleverer’s arrest. It felt like nothing could have added to her humiliation and exposure more. Rachel had always looked down on women who fainted and had been so strong until now that she’d never really experienced the symptoms, or maybe she could have avoided it. But there she lay, publicly shamed in front of her county's dignitaries for her poor judgment, and completely overcome by the physical weakness she had always scorned.
Then the mother was so terrified and distressed that all sorts of comforting reassurances were required, and the chief object soon became to persuade her to go downstairs and leave Rachel to her bed. And at last the thought of civility and of the many Mrs. Grundys prevailed, and sent her downstairs, but there was little more comfort for Rachel even in being left to herself—that for which she had a few minutes before most ardently longed.
Then the mother was so scared and upset that she needed all kinds of comforting reassurances, and the main goal became getting her to go downstairs and leave Rachel in bed. Eventually, the idea of being polite and the opinions of the neighborhood got to her, and she went downstairs, but there was barely any comfort for Rachel even in being left alone—that very thing she had just desperately wished for a few minutes ago.
That night was perhaps the most painful one of her whole life. The earnest desire to keep her mother from uneasiness, and the longing to be unmolested, made her play her part well when the mother and Grace came up to see her before going to bed, and they thought she would sleep off her over-fatigue and excitement, and yielded to her desire that they should bid her good night, and leave her to rest.
That night was probably the most painful one of her entire life. Her genuine desire to keep her mother from worrying and her wish to be left alone made her act convincingly when her mother and Grace came to see her before bed. They believed she would sleep off her exhaustion and excitement and agreed to her request to say goodnight and let her rest.
But what sort of rest was it? Sometimes even her own personal identity was gone, and she would live over again in the poor children, the hunger and the blows, or she would become Mrs. Rawlins, and hear herself sentenced for the savage cruelty, or she would actually stand in court under sentence for manslaughter. Her pulses throbbed up to fever pitch, head and cheeks burnt, the very power to lie still was gone, and whether she commanded her thoughts or lapsed into the land of dreams, they worked her equal woe.
But what kind of rest was it? Sometimes her own sense of identity disappeared, and she would relive the struggles of the poor children, the hunger and the abuse, or she would become Mrs. Rawlins and hear herself being sentenced for horrific cruelty, or she would actually find herself in court facing charges of manslaughter. Her heart raced to a fever pitch, her head and cheeks burned, and she lost the ability to lie still. Whether she forced her thoughts or drifted off into a dream, both brought her equal misery.
Now it was the world of gazing faces, feverishly magnified, multiplied, and pressing closer and closer on her, till she could have screamed to dispel them; now it was her mother weeping over the reports to which she had given occasion, and accusing herself of her daughter’s errors; and now it was Lovedy Kelland’s mortal agony, now the mob, thirsting for vengeance, were shouting for justice on her, as the child’s murderer, and she was shrieking to Alick Keith to leave her to her fate, and only save her mother.
Now it was a world of eager faces, frantically magnified, multiplied, and pressing closer and closer to her, making her want to scream to make them go away; now it was her mother crying over the reports she had caused, blaming herself for her daughter's mistakes; and now it was Lovedy Kelland’s excruciating pain, while the crowd, hungry for revenge, was shouting for justice against her as the child's murderer, and she was screaming at Alick Keith to let her face her fate and just save her mother.
It would hardly be too much to say that the positive wretchedness of actually witnessing the child’s death was doubled in these its imaginary repetitions on that still more suffering night of waking dreams, when every solemn note of the cathedral clock, every resolute proclamation from its fellow in the town hall, every sharp reply from the domestic timepiece in the Deanery fell on her ears, generally recalling her at least to full consciousness of her identity and whereabouts, and dispelling the delusion.
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the sheer misery of witnessing the child's death was magnified during its imagined repeats on that even more tormenting night of restless thoughts. Each deep chime of the cathedral clock, every firm announcement from its counterpart in the town hall, and every loud tick from the clock in the Deanery all struck her ears, usually bringing her back to a clear awareness of who she was and where she was, dispelling the illusion.
But, then, what comfort was there? Veritably she had caused suffering and death; she had led to the peril of Fanny’s children; she had covered her mother with shame and grief! Nay, in her exaggerated tone of feeling, she imagined that distress and poverty might have been entailed on that beloved mother. Those title deeds—no intelligence. Captain Keith had taken no notice. Perhaps he heard and believed those degrading reports! He had soul enough to pity and sympathize with the failure of extended views of beneficence; he despised the hypocrisy that had made charity a cloak for a credulous debasing attachment, and to such an object! He might well avoid her! His sister had always bantered her on what had seemed too absurd to be rebutted, and, at any rate, this fainting fit would clench his belief. No doubt he believed it. And if he did, why should not every one else whose opinion she cared for: Ermine, her Colonel, even gentle Fanny—no, she would never believe any harm, she had suffered too much in her cause.
But then, what comfort was there? She had truly caused suffering and death; she had put Fanny’s children in danger; she had brought shame and grief to her mother! In her overly dramatic feelings, she even thought that distress and poverty could have fallen on that beloved mother. Those title deeds—no news. Captain Keith had ignored everything. Maybe he heard and believed those humiliating rumors! He had enough compassion to feel pity and sympathy for the failure of grand charitable intentions; he looked down on the hypocrisy that turned charity into a cover for a naive, degrading attachment, and to such a person! It made sense for him to avoid her! His sister had always teased her about things that seemed too ridiculous to refute, and this fainting spell would only confirm his beliefs. No doubt he believed it. And if he did, why wouldn't everyone else whose opinion mattered to her? Ermine, her Colonel, even kind Fanny—no, Fanny would never think anything bad; she had suffered too much in her name.
Oh, for simple genuine charity like Fanny’s, with eyes clear with innocence and humility! And now what was before her? should she ever be allowed to hide her head, or should she be forced again to brave that many-eyed world? Perhaps the title-deed business would prove utter ruin. It would have been acceptable to herself, but her mother and sister!
Oh, for the kind of genuine charity like Fanny's, with eyes full of innocence and humility! And now what lay ahead for her? Would she ever be able to hide her head, or would she be forced once again to face that judgmental world? Maybe dealing with the title-deed situation would mean complete disaster. It would have been fine for her, but what about her mother and sister!
Chastisement! Yes, it was just chastisement for headstrong folly and conceit. She had heard of bending to the rod and finding it a cross, but here came the dreadful confusion of unreality, and of the broken habit of religious meditation except as matter of debate. She did not know till her time of need how deeply sneers had eaten into her heart. The only text that would come to her mind was, “And in that day they shall roar against them like the roaring of the sea; and if one look unto the land, behold darkness and sorrow, and the light is darkened in the heavens thereof.” Every effort at prayer or at calm recall of old thoughts still ended in that desolate verse. The first relief to these miserable dreams was the cool clear morning light, and by-and-by the early cathedral bells, then Grace’s kind greeting made her quite herself; no longer feverish, but full of lassitude and depression. She would not listen to Grace’s entreaties that she would remain in bed. No place was so hateful to her, she said, and she came down apparently not more unwell than had been the case for many days past, so that after breakfast her mother saw no reason against leaving her on the sofa, while going out to perform some commissions in the town, attended, of course, by Grace. Miss Wellwood promised that she should not be disturbed, and she found that she must have been asleep, for she was taken by surprise by the opening of the door, and the apologetic face of the butler, who told her that a gentleman had asked if she would see him, and presented the card of “Captain Alexander Keith.”
Chastisement! Yes, it was just punishment for stubborn foolishness and arrogance. She had heard about submitting to discipline and finding it hard, but now she faced the terrifying confusion of unreality and the broken habit of religious meditation, except as a topic for discussion. She didn’t realize until her moment of need how deeply the mockery had affected her heart. The only phrase that came to her mind was, “And in that day they shall roar against them like the roaring of the sea; and if one looks to the land, behold darkness and sorrow, and the light is darkened in the heavens thereof.” Every attempt at prayer or recalling old thoughts still ended with that desolate verse. The first relief from these miserable dreams was the cool, clear morning light, and soon the early cathedral bells, then Grace’s kind greeting helped her feel like herself again; no longer feverish, but full of exhaustion and sadness. She refused to listen to Grace's pleas to stay in bed. No place was as unbearable to her, she said, and she came down looking no worse than she had for many days past, so after breakfast her mother saw no reason not to leave her on the sofa while she went out to run some errands in town, accompanied, of course, by Grace. Miss Wellwood promised she wouldn’t be disturbed, and she realized she must have fallen asleep, as she was surprised by the opening of the door and the apologetic face of the butler, who told her that a gentleman had asked if she would see him and presented the card of “Captain Alexander Keith.”
Eagerly she desired that he should be admitted, tremulously she awaited his sentence upon her mother’s peace, and, as she thought of all he must have heard, all he must believe, she felt as if she must flee; or, if that were impossible, cower in shrinking dread of the glance of his satirical eye!
Eagerly, she wanted him to be accepted; nervously, she waited for his judgment on her mother’s peace. As she considered everything he must have heard and believed, she felt an urge to run away. If that wasn’t possible, she could only cower in fear of his mocking gaze!
Here he was, and she could not look or speak, nor did he; she only felt that his clasp of greeting was kind, was anxious, and he put forward the easy-chair, into which she sank, unable to stand. He said, “I saw your mother and sister going into the town. I thought you would like to hear of this business at once.”
Here he was, and she couldn't look or speak, and he didn't either; she just felt that his handshake was kind and a little anxious, and he offered her the armchair, into which she sank, unable to stand. He said, “I saw your mom and sister heading into town. I thought you’d want to hear about this business right away.”
“Oh yes, thank you.”
“Yeah, thanks!”
“I could not see the man till the day before yesterday,” he said, “and I could get nothing satisfactory from him. He said he had taken the papers to a legal friend, but was not authorized to give his name. Perhaps his views may be changed by his present condition. I will try him again if you like.”
“I couldn’t see the guy until the day before yesterday,” he said, “and I couldn’t get anything useful from him. He mentioned he had taken the papers to a lawyer friend, but he wasn’t allowed to share his name. Maybe his perspective will change because of his current situation. I can try reaching out to him again if you want.”
“Thank you, thank you! Do you think this is true!”
“Thank you, thank you! Do you really think this is true?”
“He is too cunning a scoundrel to tell unnecessary lies, and very likely he may have disposed of them to some Jew attorney; but I think nothing is to be feared but some annoyance.”
“He's too clever of a scoundrel to tell unnecessary lies, and it’s very likely he may have sold them to some Jewish lawyer; but I think the only worry is some inconvenience.”
“And annoyance to my mother is the one thing I most fear,” sighed Rachel, helplessly.
“And the thing I fear the most is annoying my mom,” Rachel sighed, feeling powerless.
“There might be a mode of much lessening it to her,” he said.
“There might be a way to significantly reduce it for her,” he said.
“Oh, what? Tell me, and I would do it at any cost.”
“Oh, what? Just tell me, and I’ll do it no matter what.”
“Will you?” and he came nearer. “At the cost of yourself?”
“Will you?” he asked, stepping closer. “At the expense of yourself?”
She thrilled all over, and convulsively grasped the arm of her chair.
She felt a rush of excitement and tightly gripped the arm of her chair.
“Would not a son be the best person to shield her from annoyance,” he added, trying for his usual tone, but failing, he exclaimed, “Rachel, Rachel, let me!”
“Wouldn't a son be the best person to protect her from annoyance?” he added, trying to sound like himself, but failing. He exclaimed, “Rachel, Rachel, let me!”
She put her hands over her face, and cried, “Oh! oh! I never thought of this.”
She covered her face with her hands and cried, “Oh! Oh! I never thought about this.”
“No,” he said, “and I know what you do think of it, but indeed you need not be wasted. Our women and children want so much done for them, and none of our ladies are able or willing. Will you not come and help me?”
“No,” he said, “and I know what you think about it, but honestly, you don’t need to waste yourself. Our women and children need so much help, and none of our ladies are able or willing to do it. Will you come and help me?”
“Don’t talk to me of helping! I do nothing but spoil and ruin.”
“Don’t talk to me about helping! All I do is mess things up and ruin everything.”
“Not now! That is all gone and past. Come and begin afresh.”
“Not now! That’s all in the past. Come and start over.”
“No, no, I am too disagreeable.”
"No, I'm too unpleasant."
“May not I judge for myself?” he said, drawing nearer, and his voice falling into tremulous tenderness.
“Can’t I decide for myself?” he said, moving closer, his voice becoming soft and shaky with emotion.
“Headstrong—overbearing.”
"Stubborn—domineering."
“Try,” and his smile overbore her.
“Try,” and his smile overwhelmed her.
“Oh no, no, nobody can bear me! This is more than you—you ought to do—than any one should,” she faltered, not knowing what she said.
“Oh no, no, nobody can stand me! This is more than you—you should—than anyone should,” she stammered, unsure of what she was saying.
“Than any one to whom you were not most dear!” was the answer, and he was now standing over her, with the dew upon his eyelashes.
“Than anyone you weren’t most dear to!” was the reply, and he was now standing over her, with dew on his eyelashes.
“Oh, that can’t be. Bessie said you always took up whatever other people hated, and I know it is only that—”
“Oh, that can't be. Bessie said you always took on whatever other people disliked, and I know that's all it is—”
“Don’t let Bessie’s sayings come between us now, Rachel. This goes too deep,” and he had almost taken her hand, when with a start she drew it back, saying, “But you know what they say!”
“Don’t let Bessie’s sayings come between us now, Rachel. This goes too deep,” and he had almost taken her hand, when with a start she drew it back, saying, “But you know what they say!”
“Have they been stupid enough to tell you?” he exclaimed. “Confute them then, Rachel—dolts that can’t believe in self-devotion! Laugh at their beards. This is the way to put an end to it!”
“Have they really been dumb enough to tell you?” he exclaimed. “Prove them wrong then, Rachel—fools who can’t believe in selflessness! Laugh at their arrogance. This is how to put a stop to it!”
“Oh no, they would only detest you for my sake. I can’t,” she said again, bowed down again with shame and dejection.
“Oh no, they would just dislike you because of me. I can’t,” she said again, bowing down once more in shame and disappointment.
“I’ll take care of that!” he said with the dry tone that perhaps was above all reassurance, and conquered her far enough to enable him to take possession of the thin and still listless hand.
“I’ve got that covered!” he said in a dry tone that was probably more reassuring than anything, and he managed to win her over enough to take hold of her thin and still lifeless hand.
“Then,” he said, “you will let me take this whole matter in hand; and if the worst comes to the worst, we will make up to the charity out of the Indian money, without vexing the mother.”
“Then,” he said, “you’ll let me handle this whole issue; and if things go really badly, we’ll contribute to the charity from the Indian money, without upsetting the mother.”
“I can’t let you suffer for my miserable folly.”
“I can’t let you suffer because of my stupid mistake.”
“Too late to say that!” he answered; and as her eyes were raised to him in startled inquiry, he said gravely, “These last weeks have shown me that your troubles must be mine.”
“It's too late to say that!” he replied; and as she looked up at him in surprise, he said seriously, “These past few weeks have made it clear that your troubles have to be my troubles.”
A hand was on the door, and Rachel fled, in time to screen her flight from Miss Wellwood, whom Alick met with his usual undisturbed front, and inquiries for Mrs. Curtis.
A hand was on the door, and Rachel ran away just in time to hide her escape from Miss Wellwood, who Alick confronted with his usual calm demeanor and asked about Mrs. Curtis.
That good lady was in the town more worried than flattered by the numerous inquiries after Rachel’s health, and conscious of having gone rather near the wind in making the best of it. She had begun to dread being accosted by any acquaintance, and Captain Keith, sauntering near the archway of the close, was no welcome spectacle. She would have passed him with a curt salutation, but he grasped her hand, saying, “May I have a few words with you?”
That good lady was in town feeling more anxious than flattered by the many inquiries about Rachel’s health, aware that she had exaggerated things a bit. She had started to fear running into any acquaintances, and Captain Keith, hanging out near the archway of the close, was not a welcome sight. She would have just nodded at him, but he took her hand and said, “Can I have a few words with you?”
“Not Fanny—not the children!” cried Mrs. Curtis in dismay.
“Not Fanny—not the kids!” shouted Mrs. Curtis in shock.
“No indeed. Only myself,” and a gleam of intelligence under his eyelashes and judicious pressure of his hand conveyed volumes to Grace, who had seen him often during Rachel’s illness, and was not unprepared. She merely said that she would see how her sister was, substituted Captain Keith’s arm for her own as her mother’s support, and hurried away, to encounter Miss Wellwood’s regrets that, in spite of all her precautions, dear Rachel had been disturbed by “a young officer, I believe. We see him often at the cathedral, and somebody said it was his sister whom Lord Keith married.”
“No, just me,” and a spark of understanding in his eyes and a careful squeeze of his hand communicated a lot to Grace, who had seen him many times during Rachel’s illness and was somewhat prepared. She simply said she would check on her sister, used Captain Keith’s arm instead of her own to support her mother, and quickly left, only to face Miss Wellwood’s disappointment that, despite all her efforts, dear Rachel had been disturbed by “a young officer, I think. We see him often at the cathedral, and someone mentioned it was his sister that Lord Keith married.”
“Yes, we know him well, and he is a Victoria Cross man,” said Grace, beginning to assume his reflected glory.
“Yes, we know him well, and he’s a Victoria Cross guy,” said Grace, beginning to take on his reflected glory.
“So some one said, but the Dean never calls on the officers unless there is some introduction, or there would be no end to it. It was a mistake letting him in to disturb Rachel. Is your mother gone up to her, my dear?”
“So someone said, but the Dean never approaches the officers unless there’s an introduction, or it would never stop. Letting him in to disrupt Rachel was a mistake. Has your mom gone up to see her, dear?”
“No, I think she is in the cathedral yard. I just came in to see about Rachel,” said Grace, escaping.
“No, I think she's in the cathedral yard. I just came in to check on Rachel,” said Grace, making her way out.
Miss Wellwood intended going out to join her old friend; but, on going to put on her bonnet, she saw from the window Mrs. Curtis, leaning on the intruder’s arm, conversing so confidentially that the Dean’s sister flushed with amazement, and only hoped she had mentioned him with due respect. And under that southern cathedral wall good Mrs. Curtis took the longest walk she had indulged in for the last twenty years, so that Grace, and even Rachel, beholding from the window, began to fear that the mother would be walked to death.
Miss Wellwood planned to go out to meet her old friend; but when she went to put on her hat, she saw from the window Mrs. Curtis leaning on the stranger's arm, talking so intimately that the Dean's sister turned red with surprise, and could only hope that she had mentioned him respectfully. And under that southern cathedral wall, good Mrs. Curtis took the longest walk she had had in the last twenty years, so much so that Grace, and even Rachel, watching from the window, started to worry that their mother might be walked to exhaustion.
But then she had that supporting arm, and the moral support, that was infinitely more! That daughter, the spoilt pet of her husband, the subject of her pride, even when an enigma and an anxiety, whom she had lately been forced to think of as
But then she had that supportive arm, and the emotional support, which was so much more! That daughter, the spoiled favorite of her husband, the source of her pride, even when she was a mystery and a worry, whom she had recently been forced to think of as
“A maid whom there were few to praise And very few to love,”
“A maid who had few people to praise her And very few to love her,”
she now found loved by one at least, and praised in terms that thrilled through and through the mother’s heart in their truth and simplicity, for that sincerity, generosity, and unselfishness. It was her own daughter, her real Rachel, no illusion, that she heard described in those grave earnest words, only while the whole world saw the errors and exaggerated them, here was one who sank them all in the sterling worth that so few would recognise. The dear old lady forgot all her prudence, and would hardly let him speak of his means; but she soon saw that Rachel’s present portion would be more than met on his side, and that no one could find fault with her on the score of inequality of fortune. He would have been quite able to retire, and live at ease, but this he said at once and with decision he did not intend. His regiment was his hereditary home, and his father had expressed such strong wishes that he should not lightly desert his profession, that he felt bound to it by filial duty as well as by other motives. Moreover, he thought the change of life and occupation would be the best thing for Rachel, and Mrs. Curtis could not but acquiesce, little as she had even dreamt that a daughter of hers would marry into a marching regiment! Her surrender of judgment was curiously complete. “Dear Alexinder,” as thenceforth she called him had assumed the mastery over her from the first turn they took under the cathedral, and when at length he reminded her that the clock was on the stroke of one, she accepted it on his infallible judgment, for her own sensations would have made her believe it not a quarter of an hour since the interview had begun.
She now realized she was loved by at least one person, and praised in a way that deeply touched the mother's heart with its truth and simplicity, reflecting sincerity, generosity, and selflessness. It was her own daughter, her true Rachel, not an illusion, that she heard described in those serious and heartfelt words. While the whole world highlighted the mistakes and magnified them, here was someone who overlooked them all in the genuine value that so few would recognize. The dear old lady forgot all her caution and barely let him talk about his finances; however, she soon saw that Rachel's current situation was more than balanced by his side, and no one could fault her regarding any disparity in wealth. He could have easily retired and lived comfortably, but he immediately stated that he had no intention of doing so. His regiment was his family legacy, and his father had expressed such strong desires that he shouldn't abandon his profession lightly, so he felt obligated to it by both familial duty and other reasons. Additionally, he believed that a change in lifestyle and work would be best for Rachel, and Mrs. Curtis couldn't help but agree, even though she had never imagined that a daughter of hers would marry into a military regiment! Her willingness to give up her judgment was strangely complete. “Dear Alexinder,” as she then called him, had taken charge from the very start under the cathedral, and when he eventually reminded her that the clock was striking one, she accepted it as his undeniable truth, because her own feelings would have led her to believe it had only been a quarter of an hour since their meeting began.
Not a word had been granted on either side to the conventional vows of secrecy, always made to be broken, and perhaps each tacitly felt that the less secrecy the better for Rachel. Certain it is that Mrs. Curtis went into the Deanery with her head considerably higher, kissed Rachel vehemently, and, assuring her she knew all about it, and was happier than she had ever thought to be again, excused her from appearing at luncheon, and hurried down thereto, without giving any attention to a feeble entreaty that she would not go so fast. And when at three o’clock Rachel crept downstairs to get into the carriage for her return home, the good old Dean lay in wait for her, told her she must allow him an old friend’s privilege, kissed her, congratulated her, and said he would beg to perform the ceremony.
Not a word was said by either side about the usual vows of secrecy, which are always meant to be broken, and maybe they both felt that the less secrecy there was, the better for Rachel. It's clear that Mrs. Curtis walked into the Deanery with her head held high, kissed Rachel passionately, and told her she knew everything and was happier than she ever thought she could be again. She excused Rachel from lunch and rushed down there, ignoring Rachel's weak request that she slow down. When Rachel crept downstairs at three o'clock to get into the carriage for her ride home, the kind old Dean was waiting for her. He told her she had to let him take the liberty of an old friend, kissed her, congratulated her, and offered to perform the ceremony.
“Oh, Mr. Dean, it is nothing like that.”
“Oh, Mr. Dean, it’s nothing like that.”
He laughed, and handed her in.
He laughed and brought her inside.
“Mother, mother, how could you?” sighed Rachel, as they drove on.
“Mom, how could you?” sighed Rachel as they continued driving.
“My dear, they were so kind; they could not help knowing!”
"My dear, they were so nice; they couldn't help but know!"
“But it can’t be.”
“But it can't be.”
“Rachel, my child, you like him!”
“Rachel, my child, you like him!”
“He does not know half about me yet. Mother, don’t tell Fanny or any one till I have seen him again.”
“He doesn’t know half as much about me yet. Mom, don’t tell Fanny or anyone until I’ve seen him again.”
And the voice was so imperious with the wayward vehemence of illness that Mrs. Curtis durst not gainsay it. She did not know how Alick Keith was already silencing those who asked if he had heard of the great event at the Dean’s party. Still less did she guess at the letter at that moment in writing:—
And the voice was so commanding with the unpredictable intensity of illness that Mrs. Curtis didn't dare argue with it. She had no idea how Alick Keith was already shutting down anyone who asked if he had heard about the big event at the Dean’s party. Even less did she suspect the letter that was being written at that moment:—
“My Dear Bessie,—Wish me joy. I have gone in for the uncroquetable lawn, and won it.—Your affectionate brother’,
“My Dear Bessie, — Wish me luck. I’ve taken on the unmanageable lawn and I’ve won. — Your loving brother,”
“A. C. Keith.”
“A.C. Keith.”
CHAPTER XXIII. DEAR ALEXANDER.
“I pray thee now tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?”—Much Ado about Nothing.
“I pray you now tell me, which of my flaws did you first fall in love with?”—Much Ado about Nothing.
“Alick, is this all chivalry?” inquired Colonel Keith, sitting by his fire, suffering considerably from his late drive, and hearing reports that troubled him.
“Alick, is this what chivalry is all about?” asked Colonel Keith, sitting by his fire, feeling pretty rough from his recent drive, and hearing reports that worried him.
“Very chivalrous, indeed! when there’s an old county property to the fore.”
“Very chivalrous, indeed! When there’s an old county property at stake.”
“For that matter, you have all been canny enough to have means enough to balance all that barren moorland. You are a richer man than I shall ever be.”
“For that matter, you all have been smart enough to have enough resources to manage all that empty moorland. You're a wealthier man than I will ever be.”
“Without heiress-hunting?” said Alick, as though weighing his words.
“Without going after an heiress?” Alick said, as if he was considering his words carefully.
“Come, Alick, you need not put on a mask that does not fit you! If it is not too late, take the risk into consideration, for I own I think the price of your championship somewhat severe.”
“Come on, Alick, you don’t have to wear a mask that doesn’t suit you! If it’s not too late, think about the risks, because I honestly believe the cost of your championship is quite high.”
“Ask Miss Williams.”
"Ask Ms. Williams."
“Ermine is grateful for much kindness, and is—yes—really fond of her.”
“Ermine is thankful for all the kindness and is—yeah—actually very fond of her.”
“Then, Colonel, you ought to know that a sensible woman’s favourable estimate of one of her own sex outweighs the opinion men can form of her.”
“Then, Colonel, you should know that a sensible woman's positive view of one of her own kind is more valuable than the opinion men can have of her.”
“I grant that there are fine qualities; but, Alick, regarding you, as I must necessarily do, from our former relations, you must let me speak if there is still time to warn you, lest your pity and sense of injustice should be entangling you in a connexion that would hardly conduce to make you happy or popular.”
“I admit that you have some great qualities; but, Alick, considering our past relationship, I have to speak up if there’s still time to warn you, so that your compassion and sense of fairness don’t get you caught up in a situation that probably won’t make you happy or well-liked.”
“Popularity is not my line,” said Alick, looking composedly into the fire.
“Popularity isn’t my thing,” Alick said, calmly staring into the fire.
“Tell me first,” said the puzzled Colonel, “are you committed?”
“First, tell me,” said the confused Colonel, “are you committed?”
“No one can be more so.”
“No one can be more than that.”
“Engaged!!!”
“Engaged!!!”
“I thought you would have known it from themselves; but I find she has forbidden her mother to mention it till she has seen me again. And they talk of quiet, and shut me out!” gloomily added Alick.
“I thought you would have heard it from them; but I find she has told her mother not to mention it until she sees me again. And they talk about being quiet and shutting me out!” Alick added gloomily.
The Colonel conceived a hope that the lady would abjure matrimony, and release this devoted knight, but in a few moments Alick burst out—
The Colonel hoped that the lady would reject the idea of marriage and free this loyal knight, but within moments, Alick exclaimed—
“Absurd! She cannot mend with anything on her mind! If I could have seen Mrs. Curtis or Grace alone, they might have heard reason, but that old woman of a doctor was prosing about quiet and strain on the nerves. I know that sort of quiet, the best receipt for distraction!”
“Ridiculous! She can't focus on anything else! If I could have spoken to Mrs. Curtis or Grace separately, they might have understood reason, but that old doctor just kept rambling about being calm and the stress on the nerves. I know that kind of calm, the worst remedy for distraction!”
“Well, Alick,” said his friend, smiling, “you have at least convinced me that your heart is in the matter.”
“Well, Alick,” his friend said with a smile, “you’ve at least made me realize that you truly care about this.”
“How should it not be?” returned Alick.
“How could it not be?” replied Alick.
“I was afraid it was only with the object of unjust vituperation.”
“I was worried it was just for the purpose of unfair criticism.”
“No such thing. Let me tell you, Colonel, my heart has been in it ever since I felt the relief of meeting real truth and unselfishness! I liked her that first evening, when she was manfully chasing us off for frivolous danglers round her cousin! I liked her for having no conventionalities, fast or slow, and especially for hating heroes! And when my sister had helped to let her get into this intolerable web, how could I look on without feeling the nobleness that has never shifted blame from herself, but bowed, owned all, suffered—suffered—oh, how grievously!”
“No way. Let me tell you, Colonel, my heart has been in it ever since I experienced the relief of encountering true honesty and selflessness! I liked her from that first evening when she bravely chased us away for wasting time around her cousin! I appreciated her for rejecting all the norms, whether fast or slow, and especially for despising heroes! And when my sister helped her get caught up in this unbearable situation, how could I just watch without recognizing the nobility that has never shifted blame from herself, but instead has accepted everything, suffered—suffered—oh, how deeply!”
The Colonel was moved. “With such genuine affection you should surely lead her and work upon her! I trust you will be able.”
The Colonel was touched. “With such genuine affection, you should definitely guide her and influence her! I hope you can do it.”
“It is less that,” said Alick, rather resentfully, “than sympathy that she wants. Nobody ever gave her that except your Ermine! By-the-bye, is there any news of the brother?”
“It’s less about that,” Alick said a bit resentfully, “and more about the sympathy she wants. No one has ever given her that except your Ermine! By the way, is there any news about the brother?”
Colonel Keith shook his head. “I believe I shall have to go to Russia,” he said with some dejection.
Colonel Keith shook his head. “I think I have to go to Russia,” he said with some disappointment.
“After that, reproach one with chivalry,” said Alick, lightly. “Nay, I beg your pardon. Shall I take any message down to Mackarel Lane?”
“After that, blame someone with chivalry,” Alick said casually. “No, I’m sorry. Should I deliver any message to Mackarel Lane?”
“Are you going?”
"Are you going?"
“Well, yes, though I hardly ought to venture there till this embargo is taken off; for she is the one person there will be some pleasure in talking to. Perhaps I may reckon you as the same in effect.”
“Well, yes, but I really shouldn't go there until this restriction is lifted; she's the one person I'll actually enjoy talking to. Maybe I can think of you as being similar in that way.”
The Colonel responded with a less cheerful look than usual, adding, “I don’t know whether to congratulate you, Alick, on having to ask no one’s consent but your own at your age.”
The Colonel replied with a less cheerful expression than usual, saying, “I’m not sure if I should congratulate you, Alick, for only having to seek your own approval at your age.”
“Especially not my guardian’s!” said Alick, with the desired effect of making him laugh.
“Definitely not my guardian’s!” said Alick, aiming to make him laugh.
“No, if you were my son, I would not interfere,” he added gravely. “I only feared your not knowing what you were about. I see you do know it, and it merely becomes a question of every man to his taste—except for one point, Alick. I am afraid there may have been much disturbance of her opinions.”
“No, if you were my son, I wouldn’t interfere,” he said seriously. “I only worried that you didn’t know what you were doing. I can see you do know, and it really comes down to personal preference—except for one thing, Alick. I’m afraid there might have been a lot of confusion about her views.”
“Surface work,” said Alick, “some of the effects of the literature that paints contradiction as truth. It is only skin deep, and makes me wish all the more to have her with my uncle for a time. I wonder whether Grace would let me in if I went back again!”
“Surface work,” Alick said, “is one of the effects of literature that portrays contradiction as truth. It’s just superficial, and it makes me want even more to have her with my uncle for a while. I wonder if Grace would let me in if I went back again!”
No, Grace was obdurate. Mr. Frampton had spoken of a nervous fever, and commanded perfect quiescence; and Grace was the less tempted to transgress the order, because she really thought her mother was more in love with “dear Alexander” than Rachel was. Rachel was exceedingly depressed, restless, and feverish, and shrank from her mother’s rejoicing, declaring that she was mistaken, and that nothing more must be said. She had never consented, and he must not make such a sacrifice; he would not when he knew better. Nay, in some moods, Rachel seemed to think even the undefined result of the interview an additional humiliation, and to feel herself falling, if not fallen, from her supreme contempt of love and marriage. The hurry, and the consent taken for granted, had certainly been no small elements in her present disturbed and overwhelmed state; and Grace, though understanding the motive, was disposed to resent the over-haste. Calm and time to think were promised to Rachel, but the more she had of both the more they hurt her. She tossed restlessly all night, and was depressed to the lowest ebb by day; but on the second day, ill as she evidently was, she insisted on seeing Captain Keith, declaring that she should never be better till she had made him understand her. Her nurses saw that she was right; and, besides, Mrs. Curtis’s pity was greatly touched by dear Alexander’s entreaties. So, as a desperate experiment, he was at last allowed to go into the dressing-room, where she was lying on the sofa. He begged to enter alone, only announced by a soft knock, to which she replied with a listless “Come in,” and did not look up till she suddenly became conscious of a footfall firmer though softer than those she was used to. She turned, and saw who it was who stood at a window opposite to her feet, drawing up the Venetian blind, from whose teasing divisions of glare and shade she had been hiding her eyes from the time she had come in, fretted by the low continuous tap of its laths upon the shutters. Her first involuntary exclamation was a sigh of relief.
No, Grace was stubborn. Mr. Frampton had mentioned a nervous fever and insisted on complete calm, and Grace felt less tempted to ignore that order because she genuinely believed her mother loved “dear Alexander” more than Rachel did. Rachel was extremely depressed, restless, and feverish, and she recoiled from her mother’s excitement, insisting that her mother was mistaken and that nothing more should be said. She had never agreed to this, and he should not make such a sacrifice; he wouldn’t once he understood better. In some moods, Rachel seemed to feel that even the uncertain outcome of the meeting was an added humiliation, and she felt herself descending, if not having already fallen, from her once supreme disdain for love and marriage. The urgency and the assumption of her consent had certainly contributed to her current disturbed and overwhelmed state; and Grace, while understanding the motivation, was inclined to resent the hurry. Calmness and time to think were promised to Rachel, but the more she had of both, the more they hurt her. She tossed and turned restlessly all night and felt incredibly low during the day; but on the second day, despite her evident illness, she insisted on seeing Captain Keith, claiming that she wouldn’t feel better until she made him understand her. Her nurses recognized that she was right; and in addition, Mrs. Curtis was deeply moved by dear Alexander’s pleas. So, as a last resort, he was finally allowed to go into the dressing room where she was lying on the sofa. He requested to enter alone, just announcing himself with a gentle knock, to which she responded with a listless “Come in,” not looking up until she suddenly became aware of a footstep that was firmer yet softer than the ones she was used to. She turned and saw who it was standing at a window across from her feet, pulling up the Venetian blind, behind which she had been hiding her eyes since she arrived, annoyed by the low, constant tapping of the slats against the shutters. Her first instinctive reaction was a sigh of relief.
“Oh, thank you. I did not know what it was that was such a nuisance.”
“Oh, thank you. I had no idea what was such a bother.”
“This is too much glare. Let me turn your sofa a little way round from it.”
“This is way too bright. Let me move your sofa a bit so it’s not facing it directly.”
And as he did so, and she raised herself, he shook out her cushions, and substituted a cool chintz covered one for the hot crimson damask on which her head had been resting. “Thank you! How do you know so well?” she said with a long breath of satisfaction.
And as he did that, and she lifted herself up, he fluffed her cushions and swapped out the hot crimson damask one her head had been resting on for a cool chintz covered one. “Thank you! How do you know me so well?” she said with a deep breath of satisfaction.
“By long trial,” he said, very quietly seating himself beside her couch, with a stillness of manner that strangely hushed all her throbbings; and the very pleasure of lying really still was such that she did not at once break it. The lull of these few moments was inexpressibly sweet, but the pang that had crossed her so many times in the last two days and nights could not but return. She moved restlessly, and he leant towards her with a soft-toned inquiry what it was she wanted.
“After a long time,” he said, quietly sitting down next to her couch, his calm presence oddly calming all her worries; and the sheer pleasure of just lying still was so nice that she didn’t want to ruin it right away. The peace of those few moments was incredibly sweet, but the ache she had felt so many times over the past two days and nights inevitably came back. She shifted uncomfortably, and he leaned toward her with a gentle question about what she needed.
“Don’t,” she said, raising herself. “No, don’t! I have thought more over what you said,” she continued, as if repeating the sentence she had conned over to herself. “You have been most generous, most noble; but—but,” with an effort of memory, “it would be wrong in me to accept such—oh! such a sacrifice; and when I tell you all, you will think it a duty to turn from me,” she added, pressing her hands to her temples. “And mind, you are not committed—you are free.”
“Don’t,” she said, sitting up. “No, don’t! I’ve thought a lot about what you said,” she continued, almost as if she were repeating the words she had practiced to herself. “You’ve been so generous, so noble; but—but,” trying to remember, “it would be wrong for me to accept such—oh! such a sacrifice; and when I tell you everything, you’ll feel it’s your duty to walk away from me,” she added, pressing her hands to her temples. “And remember, you’re not committed—you’re free.”
“Tell me,” he said, bending towards her.
“Tell me,” he said, leaning closer to her.
“I know you cannot overlook it! My faith—it is all confusion,” she said in a low awe-struck voice. “I do believe—I do wish to believe; but my grasp seems gone. I cannot rest or trust for thinking of the questions that have been raised! There,” she added in a strange interrogative tone.
“I know you can’t ignore it! My faith—it’s all a mess,” she said in a quiet, amazed voice. “I do believe—I really want to believe; but it feels like I can’t hold on. I can’t find peace or trust because of all the questions that have come up! There,” she added in a strangely questioning tone.
“It is a cruel thing to represent doubt as the sign of intellect,” Alick said sadly; “but you will shake off the tormentors when the power of thinking and reasoning is come back.”
“It’s a harsh thing to portray doubt as a sign of intelligence,” Alick said sadly; “but you’ll get rid of the tormentors when your ability to think and reason returns.”
“Oh, if I could think so! The misery of darkness here—there—everywhere—the old implicit reliance gone, and all observance seeming like hypocrisy and unreality. There is no thinking, no enduring the intolerable maze.”
“Oh, if only I could believe that! The misery of darkness is everywhere—here, there, everywhere—the old trust is gone, and everything we observe feels like a lie and a facade. There’s no thinking, no getting through this unbearable confusion.”
“Do not try to think now. You cannot bear it. We will try to face what difficulties remain when you are stronger.”
“Don’t try to think right now. You can’t handle it. We’ll deal with any remaining difficulties when you’re stronger.”
She turned her eyes full on him. “You do not turn away! You know you are free.”
She looked him straight in the eye. “Don’t look away! You know you’re free.”
“Turn from the sincerity that I prize?”
“Turn away from the sincerity that I value?”
“You don’t? I thought your views were exactly what would make you hate and loathe such bewilderment, and call it wilful;” there was something piteous in the way her eye sought his face.
“You don’t? I thought your opinions were exactly what would make you hate and despise such confusion and call it intentional;” there was something sad in the way her eye searched for his face.
“It was not wilful,” he said; “it came of honest truth-seeking. And, Rachel, I think the one thing is now gone that kept that honesty from finding its way.”
“It wasn’t intentional,” he said; “it came from a genuine search for truth. And, Rachel, I believe the one thing that prevented that honesty from coming out is now gone.”
“Self-sufficiency!” she said with a groan; but with a sudden turn she exclaimed, “You don’t trust to my surrendering my judgment. I don’t think I am that kind of woman.”
“Self-sufficiency!” she said with a groan; but with a sudden turn she exclaimed, “You don’t believe that I would give up my judgment. I don’t think I’m that kind of woman.”
“Nor I that kind of man,” he answered in his natural tone; then affectionately, “No, indeed I want you to aid mine.”
“Nor am I that kind of man,” he replied in his usual tone; then affectionately, “No, I really want you to help mine.”
She lay back, wearied with the effort, and disinclined to break the stillness. There was a move at the door; Mrs. Curtis, in an agony of restless anxiety, could not help coming to see that the interview was doing no harm.
She lay back, exhausted from the effort, and reluctant to disturb the quiet. There was a movement at the door; Mrs. Curtis, in a state of anxious restlessness, couldn't resist checking to make sure the conversation wasn't causing any trouble.
“Don’t go!” exclaimed Rachel, holding out her hand as he turned at the opening of the door. “Oh, mother!” and there was an evident sound of disappointment.
“Don’t go!” Rachel shouted, reaching out her hand as he turned at the door. “Oh, mom!” and her voice clearly showed her disappointment.
Mrs. Curtis was infinitely rejoiced to find her entrance thus inopportune. “I only wished just to be sure it was not too much,” she said.
Mrs. Curtis was extremely happy to find her timing so awkward. “I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t too much,” she said.
“Oh, mother, it is the first peace I have known for weeks! Can’t you stay?” looking up to him, as her mother retreated to tell Grace that it was indeed all right.
“Oh, mom, it’s the first peace I’ve had in weeks! Can’t you stay?” she said, looking up at him as her mother stepped back to inform Grace that everything was indeed okay.
This brought him to a footstool close beside her. “Thank you,” he murmured. “I was wondering just then if it would hurt you or agitate you to give me some little satisfaction in going on with this. I know you are too true not to have told me at once if your objections were more personal than those you have made; but, Rachel, it is true, as you say, that you have never consented!”
This brought him to a footstool right next to her. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I was just thinking if it would upset you or bother you to give me some reassurance about continuing this. I know you’re too honest not to have told me immediately if your concerns were more personal than the ones you’ve mentioned; but, Rachel, it’s true, as you said, that you’ve never agreed!”
The tone of these words made Rachel raise herself, turn towards him, and hold out both her hands. “Oh,” she said, as he took them into his own, “it was—it could be only that I cannot bear so much more than I deserve.”
The way he spoke made Rachel sit up, turn to him, and reach out both her hands. “Oh,” she said, as he took them in his, “it was—it must be that I just can’t handle more than I deserve.”
“What! such an infliction?” in his own dry way.
“What! such a punishment?” in his usual dry manner.
“Such rest, such kindness, such generosity!”
“Such rest, such kindness, such generosity!”
“No, Rachel, there is something that makes it neither kindness nor generosity. You know what I mean.”
“No, Rachel, there’s something that makes it neither kindness nor generosity. You know what I’m talking about.”
“And that is what overpowers me more than all,” she sighed, in the full surrender of herself. “I ought not to be so very happy.”
“And that’s what overwhelms me more than anything else,” she sighed, fully surrendering herself. “I shouldn’t be this happy.”
“That is all I want to hear,” he said, as he replaced her on her cushions, and sat by her, holding her hand, but not speaking till the next interruption, by one of the numerous convalescent meals, brought in by Grace, who looked doubtful whether she would be allowed to come in, and then was edified by the little arrangements he made, quietly taking all into his own hands, and wonderfully lessening a sort of fidget that Mrs. Curtis’s anxiety had attached to all that was done for Rachel. It was not for nothing that he had spent a year upon the sofa in the irritably sensitive state of nerves that Bessie had described; and when he could speak to Grace alone, he gave her a lecture on those little refinements of unobtrusive care, that more demonstrative ailments had not availed to inculcate, and which Mrs. Curtis’s present restless anxiety rendered almost impossible. To hinder her from constantly aggravating the fever on the nerves by her fidgeting solicitude was beyond all power save his own, and that when he was actually in the house.
"That's all I want to hear," he said as he settled her back on her cushions and sat beside her, holding her hand but not saying anything until the next interruption from one of the many convalescent meals brought in by Grace, who seemed uncertain if she was permitted to enter. She then found herself impressed by the little arrangements he made, quietly taking charge of everything and significantly easing the kind of tension that Mrs. Curtis’s anxiety had attached to everything done for Rachel. He had spent a year on the sofa in the irritably sensitive state of nerves that Bessie had described for good reason; and when he could speak to Grace alone, he lectured her on those little nuances of discreet care that more obvious conditions hadn’t been able to teach, and that Mrs. Curtis’s current restless anxiety made almost impossible. It was beyond anyone's power, except his, to stop her from constantly intensifying the nervous tension with her anxious fidgeting, and that was only possible when he was actually in the house.
Morning after morning he rode to the Homestead to hear that Rachel had had a very bad night, and was very low, then was admitted to find Mrs. Curtis’s fluttering, flurried attentions exasperating every wearied fibre with the very effort to force down fretfulness and impatience, till, when she was left to him, a long space of the lull impressed on her by his presence was needful before he could attempt any of the quiet talk, or brief readings of poetry, by which he tried further to soothe and rest her spirits. He would leave her so calm and full of repose as to make him augur well for the next day; but the moment his back was turned, something would always happen that set all the pulses in agitation again, and consigned her to a fresh night of feverish phantoms of the past. He even grew distracted enough to scold Grace fraternally as the only person he could scold.
Morning after morning, he rode to the Homestead to hear that Rachel had a really tough night and was feeling very down. Once he arrived, he found Mrs. Curtis’s flustered and frantic attention irritating every exhausted fiber of his being, as he struggled to suppress his own frustration and impatience. When he finally got some time alone with her, a lengthy silence was needed before he could try to engage in gentle conversation or read her some poetry, which he hoped would ease her mind and help her feel better. He would leave her feeling so calm and peaceful that he felt optimistic about the next day. But the moment he turned his back, something would always happen that set her nerves on edge again, sending her into another night filled with restless memories. He even got so frustrated that he ended up scolding Grace like a brother, as she was the only person he felt he could reprimand.
“You seem to nurse her on the principle of old Morris, the biggest officer among us, who kindly insisted on sitting up with me, and began by taking his seat upon my hand as it was lying spread out upon a pillow.”
“You seem to take care of her based on the idea of old Morris, the highest-ranking officer among us, who kindly insisted on staying up with me and started by sitting on my hand while it was resting on a pillow.”
“Indeed, Alick,” said Grace, with tears in her eyes, “I hardly know what to do. When you are not in the house the mother is almost as much in a nervous fever as Rachel, and it is hardly in her power to keep from fretting her. It is all well when you are here.”
“Honestly, Alick,” Grace said, tears in her eyes, “I don’t even know what to do. When you’re not home, Mom is just as anxious as Rachel, and it’s almost impossible for her not to worry. Everything is fine when you’re here.”
“Then, Grace, there is only one thing to be done. The sooner I take Rachel away the better for both her and the mother.”
“Then, Grace, there's just one thing to do. The sooner I take Rachel away, the better it will be for both her and her mother.”
“Oh, Alick, you will drive them both wild if you hurry it on.”
“Oh, Alick, you’re going to drive them both crazy if you rush it.”
“Look here. I believe I can get leave from Saturday till Tuesday. If I can get a hearing in those two days, I shall try; and depend upon it, Grace, this place is the worst that Rachel can be in.”
“Listen, I think I can get time off from Saturday to Tuesday. If I can have a meeting in those two days, I’ll make an effort; and trust me, Grace, this place is the worst that Rachel could be in.”
“Can you come out here for three whole days? Oh, what a comfort!”
“Can you come out here for three full days? Oh, what a relief!”
And ‘what a comfort’ was re-echoed by Mrs. Curtis, who had erected dear Alexander to a pedestal of infallibility, and was always treated by him with a considerate kindness that made her pity Fanny for the number of years that must pass before Stephana could give her the supreme blessing of a son-in-law. Fanny, on her side, had sufficient present blessing in collecting her brood around her, after the long famine she had suffered, and regretted only that this month had rendered Stephana’s babyhood more perceptibly a matter of the past; and that, in the distance, school days were advancing towards Conrade, though it was at least a comfort that his diphtheria had secured him at home for another half year, and the Colonel had so much to think about that he had not begun his promised researches into schools.
And “what a comfort” was echoed by Mrs. Curtis, who had placed dear Alexander on a pedestal of perfection, and he always treated her with a thoughtful kindness that made her feel sorry for Fanny, thinking about how many years it would be before Stephana could bless her with a son-in-law. Fanny, on her part, found plenty of joy in having her kids around her after the long drought she had endured, and she only wished that this month hadn’t made Stephana’s babyhood feel even more like the past; and in the distance, school days were approaching for Conrade, although at least it was comforting that his diphtheria had kept him home for another six months, and the Colonel had so much on his mind that he hadn’t started his promised research into schools.
The long-looked-for letters came after a weary interval of expectation, the more trying to Ermine because the weather had been so bitter that Colin could not shake off his cold, nor venture beyond his own fireside, where Rose daily visited him, and brought home accounts that did not cheer her aunt.
The much-anticipated letters finally arrived after a tiring wait, which was particularly tough for Ermine since the weather had been so harsh that Colin couldn’t shake off his cold or go outside his own home, where Rose visited him every day and brought back news that didn’t cheer her aunt.
Edward wrote shortly to his sister, as if almost annoyed at the shower of letters that had by every post begun to recall his attention from some new invention on the means of assaying metals:—
Edward wrote briefly to his sister, as if he was a bit annoyed by the flood of letters that had begun to pull his focus away from some new method of testing metals:—
“I am sorry you have stirred up Keith to the renewal of this painful subject. You know I considered that page in my life as closed for ever, and I see nothing that would compensate for what it costs me even to think of it. To redeem my name before the world would be of no avail to me now, for all my English habits are broken, and all that made life valuable to me is gone. If Long and Beauchamp could reject my solemn affirmation three years ago, what would a retractation slowly wrung from them be worth to me now? It might once have been, but that is all over now. Even the desire to take care of you would no longer actuate me since you have Keith again; and in a few years I hope to make my child independent in money matters—independent of your love and care you would not wish her to be. Forget the troubles of your life, Ermine, and be happy with your faithful Keith, without further efforts on behalf of one whom they only harass and grieve.”
“I’m sorry you’ve brought up this painful topic with Keith again. You know I thought that chapter of my life was closed forever, and I can’t see anything that would make it worth even thinking about. Clearing my name in the eyes of the world wouldn’t help me now, because all my English ways are gone, and everything that made life meaningful to me is lost. If Long and Beauchamp could dismiss my serious promise three years ago, what good would a retraction slowly extracted from them do for me now? It might have mattered once, but that’s all in the past. Even the desire to take care of you doesn’t motivate me anymore since you have Keith back; and in a few years, I hope to make my child financially independent—independent of your love and care, which I know you wouldn’t want her to be. Forget your troubles, Ermine, and be happy with your loyal Keith, without any more efforts on behalf of someone who only brings you distress.”
Ermine shed some bitter tears over this letter, the more sorrowful because the refusal was a shock to her own reliance on his honour, and she felt like a traitress to his cause. And Colin would give him up after this ungrateful indifference, if nothing worse. Surely it betrayed a consciousness that the whole of his conduct would not bear inquiry, and she thought of the representations that she had so indignantly rejected, that the accounts, even without the last fatal demand, were in a state that it required an excess of charity to ascribe to mere carelessness on the part of the principal.
Ermine shed some bitter tears over this letter, feeling even more sorrowful because the refusal shook her trust in his honor, and she felt like a traitor to his cause. And Colin would give him up after this ungrateful indifference, if not something worse. Surely, it showed an awareness that his entire conduct wouldn't stand up to scrutiny, and she recalled the accusations she had so angrily dismissed, realizing that the accounts, even without the final devastating demand, were in such a state that it took a lot of goodwill to attribute it to mere carelessness on the part of the principal.
She was glad that Alison was absent, and Rose in the garden. She laid her head on her little table, and drew long sobs of keen suffering, the reaction from the enjoyment and hope of the last few months. And so little knew she what she ought to ask, that she could only strive to say, “Thy will be done.”
She was relieved that Alison was not there and that Rose was in the garden. She rested her head on her small table and let out long sobs of intense pain, a response to the happiness and hope of the past few months. And she had so little idea of what to ask for that she could only try to say, “Thy will be done.”
“Ermine! my Ermine, this is not a thing to be so much taken to heart. This foolish philosopher has not even read his letters. I never saw any one more consistently like himself.”
“Ermine! My Ermine, this isn’t something to take so seriously. This foolish philosopher hasn’t even read his letters. I’ve never seen anyone be so consistently true to themselves.”
Ermine looked up, and Colin was standing over her, muffled up to the eyes, and a letter of his own in his hand. Her first impulse was to cry out against his imprudence, glad as she was to see him. “My cough is nearly gone,” he said, unwinding his wrappings, “and I could not stay at home after this wonderful letter—three pages about chemical analysis, which he does me the honour to think I can understand, two of commissions for villainous compounds, and one of protestations that ‘I will be drowned; nobody shall help me.’”
Ermine looked up, and Colin was standing over her, bundled up to his eyes, holding a letter of his own. Her first instinct was to scold him for being so reckless, even though she was happy to see him. “My cough is almost gone,” he said, unwrapping himself, “and I couldn’t just stay home after this amazing letter—three pages about chemical analysis, which he thinks I can actually understand, two commissions for some sketchy compounds, and one note of him saying, ‘I’m going to drown; no one is going to help me.’”
Ermine’s laugh had come, even amid her tears, his tone was so great a relief to her. She did not know that he had spent some minutes in cooling down his vexation, lest he should speak ungently of her brother’s indifference. “Poor Edward,” she said, “you don’t mean that this is all the reply you have?”
Ermine's laugh escaped her, even through her tears; his tone was such a relief to her. She had no idea he had taken a few minutes to calm his frustration so he wouldn't speak harshly about her brother's indifference. "Poor Edward," she said, "you can't be serious that this is all the response you have?"
“See for yourself,” and he pointed to the divisions of the letter he had described. “There is all he vouchsafes to his own proper affairs. You see he misapprehends the whole; indeed, I don’t believe he has even read our letters.”
“See for yourself,” he said, pointing to the sections of the letter he had discussed. “This is all he’s willing to share about his own matters. You can tell he doesn’t understand the bigger picture; in fact, I don’t think he’s even read our letters.”
“We often thought he did not attend to all we wrote,” said Ermine. “It is very disheartening!”
“We often felt like he didn’t pay attention to everything we wrote,” said Ermine. “It’s really discouraging!”
“Nay, Ermine, you disheartened with the end in view!”
“Nah, Ermine, you’re feeling discouraged with the end in sight!”
“There are certainly the letters about Maddox’s committal still to reach him, but who knows if they will have more effect! Oh, Colin, this was such a hope that—perhaps I have dwelt too much upon it!”
“There are definitely still letters about Maddox’s commitment that he hasn’t received yet, but who knows if they’ll have any impact! Oh, Colin, this was such a hope that—maybe I have focused on it too much!”
“It is such a hope,” he repeated. “There is no reason for laying it aside, because Edward is his old self.”
“It’s such a hope,” he said again. “There’s no reason to put it aside, since Edward is back to his old self.”
“Colin! you still think so?”
“Colin! Do you still think so?”
“I think so more than ever. If he will not read reason, he must hear it, and if he takes no notice of the letters we sent after the sessions, I shall go and bring him back in time for the assizes.”
“I believe that more than ever. If he won’t listen to reason, he’ll have to hear it, and if he ignores the letters we sent after the sessions, I’ll go and bring him back in time for the court sessions.”
“Oh, Colin! it cannot be. Think of the risk! You who are still looking so thin and ill. I cannot let you.”
“Oh, Colin! It can't be. Think of the risk! You still look so thin and unwell. I can't let you do this.”
“It will be warm enough by the time I get there.”
“It'll be warm enough by the time I arrive.”
“The distance! You are doing too much for us.”
“The distance! You’re doing way too much for us.”
“No, Ermine,” with a smile, “that I will never do.”
“No, Ermine,” she said with a smile, “that I will never do.”
She tried to answer his smile, but leant back and shed tears, not like the first, full of pain, but of affectionate gratitude, and yet of reluctance at his going. She had ever been the strength and stay of the family, but there seemed to be a source of weakness in his nearness, and this period of his indisposition and of suspense had been a strain on her spirits that told in this gentle weeping. “This is a poor welcome after you have been laid up so long,” she said when she could speak again. “If I behave so ill, you will only want to run from the sight of me.”
She tried to respond to his smile but leaned back and cried, not the painful tears from before, but tears of loving gratitude and a bit of reluctance at his departure. She had always been the backbone of the family, yet his presence seemed to bring out a sense of weakness in her. This time of his illness and uncertainty had weighed heavily on her spirits, reflected in her gentle crying. “This isn’t a great welcome after you’ve been sick for so long,” she said once she could speak again. “If I act this way, you’ll just want to escape from me.”
“It will be July when I come back.”
“It will be July when I return.”
“I do not think you ought to go.”
“I don’t think you should go.”
“Nor I, if Edward deigns to read the account of Rose’s examination.”
“Neither will I, if Edward is willing to read the report of Rose’s examination.”
In that calm smiling resolution Ermine read the needlessness of present argument, and spoke again of his health and his solitary hours.
In that calm, smiling resolution, Ermine sensed that there was no need for further discussion and once again mentioned his health and his time spent alone.
“Mitchel has been very kind in coming to sit with me, and we have indulged in two or three castles in the air—hospitals in the air, perhaps, I should say. I told him he might bring me down another guest instead of the tailor, and he has brought a poor young pupil teacher, whom Tibbie calls a winsome gallant, but I am afraid she won’t save him. Did you ever read the ‘Lady of La Garaye’?”
“Mitchel has been really nice to come and sit with me, and we’ve gotten carried away with two or three daydreams—maybe I should call them fantasies about hospitals. I told him he could bring me another guest instead of the tailor, and he brought a poor young student teacher that Tibbie refers to as a charming young man, but I’m worried she won’t be able to help him. Have you ever read the 'Lady of La Garaye'?”
“Not the poem, but I know her story.”
“Not the poem, but I know her story.”
“As soon as that parcel comes in, which Villars is always expecting, I propose to myself to read that poem with you. What’s that? It can’t be Rachel as usual.”
“As soon as that package arrives, which Villars is always waiting for, I plan to read that poem with you. What’s that? It can’t be Rachel as usual.”
If it was not Rachel, it was the next thing to her, namely, Alick Keith. This was the last day of those that he had spent at the Homestead, and he was leaving Rachel certainly better. She had not fallen back on any evening that he had been there, but to his great regret he would not be able to come out the next day. Regimental duty would take him up nearly all the day, and then he was invited to a party at the Deanery, “which the mother would never have forgiven me for refusing,” he said; just as if the mother’s desires had the very same power over him as over her daughters. “I came to make a desperate request, Miss Williams,” he said. “Would it be any way possible for you to be so kind as to go up and see Rachel? She comes downstairs now, and there are no steps if you go in by the glass doors. Do you think you could manage it?”
If it wasn’t Rachel, it was definitely Alick Keith, who was close to her. This was his last day at the Homestead, and he was leaving Rachel in a much better place. She hadn’t taken a step back on any evening he had been there, but, to his regret, he wouldn’t be able to come back the next day. Regimental duty would occupy most of his day, and then he was invited to a party at the Deanery, “which my mother would never have forgiven me for skipping,” he said, as if his mother’s wishes held the same weight over him as they did over her daughters. “I came to make a desperate request, Miss Williams,” he said. “Is there any chance you could be so kind as to go see Rachel? She comes downstairs now, and there are no steps if you enter through the glass doors. Do you think you could manage it?”
“She wishes it!” said Ermine.
"She wants it!" said Ermine.
“Very much. There are thorns in her mind that no one knows how to deal with so well as you do, and she told me yesterday how she longed to get to you.”
“Very much. There are thorns in her mind that no one knows how to handle as well as you do, and she told me yesterday how she wished she could reach you.”
“It is very good in her. I have sometimes feared she might think we had dealt unfairly by her if she did not know how very late in the business we suspected that our impostors were the same,” said Ermine.
“It’s really good of her. I’ve sometimes worried she might think we treated her unfairly if she didn’t realize how late we figured out that our impostors were the same,” said Ermine.
“It is not her way to blame any one but herself,” said Alick, “and, in fact, our showing her the woodcut deception was a preparation for the rest of it. But I have said very little to her about all that matter. She required to be led away rather than back to it. Brooding over it is fatal work, and yet her spirits are too much weakened and shattered to bear over-amusement. That is the reason that I thought you would be so very welcome to-morrow. She has seen no one yet but Lady Temple, and shrinks from the very idea.”
“It’s not her style to blame anyone but herself,” Alick said, “and, honestly, showing her the woodcut trick was just a way to prepare her for everything else. But I haven't talked to her much about the whole situation. She needs to be taken away from it rather than drawn back to it. Dwelling on it is harmful, and her spirits are too fragile to handle too much excitement. That’s why I thought you would be such a great distraction tomorrow. She hasn’t seen anyone except Lady Temple, and she’s even hesitant about that.”
“I do not see why I should not manage it very well,” said Ermine, cheerfully, “if Miss Curtis will let me know in time whether she is equal to seeing me. You know I can walk into the house now.”
“I don’t see why I shouldn’t handle it just fine,” said Ermine, cheerfully, “if Miss Curtis lets me know in time whether she’s ready to see me. You know I can walk into the house now.”
Alick thanked her earnestly. His listless manner was greatly enlivened by his anxiety, and Colonel Keith was obliged to own that marriage would be a good thing for him; but such a marriage! If from sheer indolence he should leave the government to his wife, then—Colin could only shrug his shoulders in dismay.
Alick thanked her sincerely. His lackadaisical attitude was significantly energized by his worry, and Colonel Keith had to admit that marriage would be beneficial for him; but what a marriage it would be! If, out of sheer laziness, he ended up letting his wife take charge, then—Colin could only shake his head in disappointment.
Nevertheless, when Ermine’s wheeled chair came to the door the next afternoon, he came with it, and walked by her side up the hill, talking of what had been absolutely the last call she had made—a visit when they had both been riding with the young Beauchamps.
Nevertheless, when Ermine’s wheelchair arrived at the door the next afternoon, he came along with it and walked beside her up the hill, chatting about what had definitely been her last visit—a time when they had both been riding with the young Beauchamps.
“Suppose any one had told me then I should make my next visit with you to take care of me, how pleased I should have been,” said Ermine, laughing, and taking as usual an invalid’s pleasure in all the little novelties only remarked after long seclusion. That steep, winding, pebbly road, with the ferns and creeping plants on its rocky sides, was a wonderful panorama to her, and she entreated for a stop at the summit to look down on the sea and the town; but here Grace came out to them full of thanks and hopes, little knowing that to them the event was a very great one. When at the glass doors of the garden entrance, Ermine trusted herself to the Colonel’s arm, and between him and her crutch crossed the short space to the morning room, where Rachel rose from her sofa, but wisely did not come forward till her guest was safely placed in a large easy chair.
“Imagine if someone had told me back then that my next visit with you would be to take care of me. I would have been so happy,” said Ermine, laughing and enjoying, as always, the pleasure of an invalid in all the little novelties noticed only after a long time away. That steep, winding, pebbly road, with ferns and creeping plants along its rocky edges, was a stunning view for her, and she begged for a stop at the top to look down at the sea and the town. But just then, Grace came out to them, full of thanks and hopes, unaware that for them, this event was a big deal. When they reached the glass doors of the garden entrance, Ermine leaned on the Colonel's arm, and between him and her crutch, she crossed the short distance to the morning room, where Rachel got up from her sofa but wisely waited to come forward until her guest was safely settled in a large easy chair.
Rachel then held out her hand to the Colonel, and quietly said, “Thank you,” in a subdued manner that really touched him, as he retreated quickly and left them together. Then Rachel sat down on a footstool close to Ermine, and looked up to her. “Oh, it is so good of you to come to me! I would not have dared to think of it, but I just said I wished to get out for nothing but to go to you; and then he—Captain Keith-would go and fetch you.”
Rachel then extended her hand to the Colonel and quietly said, “Thank you,” in a soft tone that really moved him, as he quickly backed away and left them alone. Then Rachel sat down on a footstool next to Ermine and looked up at her. “Oh, it’s so kind of you to come to me! I wouldn’t have dared to hope for it, but I just said I wanted to get out just to see you; and then he—Captain Keith—went to fetch you.”
“As the nearest approach to fetching the moon, I suppose,” said Ermine, brightly. “It was very kind to me, for I was longing to see you, and I am glad to find you looking better than I expected.”
“As the closest I can get to grabbing the moon, I guess,” said Ermine, cheerfully. “It was really nice of you, because I was eager to see you, and I’m happy to see you looking better than I thought you would.”
For in truth Rachel’s complexion had been little altered by her illness; and the subdued dejected expression was the chief change visible, except in the feebleness and tremulousness of all her movements. “Yes, I am better,” she said. “I ought to be, for he is so good to me.”
For in reality, Rachel’s complexion hadn’t changed much because of her illness; and the main difference was the muted, sad look on her face, aside from the weakness and shakiness of all her movements. “Yes, I feel better,” she said. “I should be, because he is so kind to me.”
“Dear Rachel, I was so very glad to hear of this,” said Ermine, bending down to kiss her.
“Dear Rachel, I was really happy to hear about this,” said Ermine, leaning down to kiss her.
“Were you? I thought no one could be that cared for him,” said Rachel.
“Were you? I thought no one cared about him like that,” said Rachel.
“I cared more for him the week that you were ill than ever I had done before.”
“I cared more about him the week you were sick than I ever had before.”
“Grace tells me of that,” said Rachel, “and when he is here I believe it. But, Miss Williams, please look full at me, and tell me whether everybody would not think—I don’t say that I could do it—but if every one would not think it a great escape for him if I gave him up.”
“Grace told me about that,” Rachel said, “and when he’s around, I believe it. But, Miss Williams, please look directly at me and tell me if everyone wouldn't think—I’m not saying I could do it—but wouldn’t everyone consider it a huge relief for him if I let him go?”
“No one that could really judge.”
“No one who could truly judge.”
“Because, listen,” said Rachel, quickly, “the regiment is going to Scotland, and he and the mother have taken it into their heads that I shall get well faster somewhere away from home. And—and they want to have the wedding as soon as I am better; and they are going to write about settlements and all that. I have never said I would, and I don’t feel as if—as if I ought to let him do it; and if ever the thing is to be stopped at all, this is the only time.”
“Because, listen,” Rachel said quickly, “the regiment is going to Scotland, and he and my mom think I’ll recover faster if I get away from home. And—they want to have the wedding as soon as I’m better; they’re even going to talk about settlements and all that. I’ve never said I would, and I don’t feel like—I don’t feel like I should let him do this; and if this thing is ever going to be stopped, now is the only time.”
“But why? You do not wish—”
“But why? You don't want—”
“Don’t talk of what I wish,” said Rachel. “Talk of what is good for him.”
“Don’t discuss what I want,” Rachel said. “Talk about what’s best for him.”
Ermine was struck with the still resolute determination of judging for herself—the self-sufficiency, almost redeemed by the unselfishness, and the face was most piteously in earnest.
Ermine was hit by the unwavering determination to make her own judgments—her self-sufficiency, nearly elevated by her unselfishness, and her face was extremely earnest and pleading.
“My dear, surely he can be trusted to judge. He is no boy, in spite of his looks. The Colonel always says that he is as much older than his age in character as he is younger in appearance.”
“My dear, he can definitely be trusted to make a judgment. He may look young, but he is no boy. The Colonel always says that he has the character of someone much older, even though he looks younger.”
“I know that,” said Rachel, “but I don’t think he ought to be trusted here; for you see,” and she looked down, “all the blindness of—of his affection is enhanced by his nobleness and generosity, and he has nobody to check or stop him; and it does seem to me a shame for us all to catch at such compassion, and encumber him with me, just because I am marked for scorn and dislike. I can’t get any one to help me look at it so. My own people would fancy it was only that I did not care for him; and he—I can’t even think about it when he is here, but I get quite distracted with doubts if it can be right whenever he goes away. And you are the only person who can help me! Bessie wrote very kindly to me, and I asked to see what she said to him. I thought I might guess her feeling from it. And he said he knew I should fancy it worse than it was if he did not let me see. It was droll, and just like her—not unkind, but I could see it is the property that makes her like it. And his uncle is blind, you know, and could only send a blessing, and kind hopes, and all that. Oh, if I could guess whether that uncle thinks he ought! What does Colonel Keith think? I know you will tell me truly.”
“I know that,” Rachel said, “but I don’t think he should be trusted here; because, you see,” she looked down, “his affection is made even more blinding by his nobleness and generosity, and he doesn’t have anyone to stop him or hold him back. It seems unfair for us to take advantage of his compassion and burden him with me just because I'm seen as someone to be scorned and disliked. I can’t get anyone to help me see it differently. My own family would assume it’s just that I don’t care for him; and he—I can’t even think about it when he’s around, but I get really confused and doubt if it can be right whenever he leaves. And you’re the only person who can help me! Bessie wrote me a very kind letter, and I asked to see what she said to him. I thought I might pick up her feelings from it. He said he knew I’d think it was worse than it was if he didn’t let me see it. It was funny and just like her—not unkind, but I can see it’s the property that makes her like that. And his uncle is blind, you know, and could only send a blessing and kind wishes, and all that. Oh, if I could just know whether that uncle thinks he should! What does Colonel Keith think? I know you’ll tell me the truth.”
“He thinks,” said Ermine, with a shaken voice, “that real trustworthy affection outweighs all the world could say.”
“He believes,” said Ermine, her voice trembling, “that genuine, dependable love is more valuable than anything else in the world.”
“But he thinks it is a strange, misplaced liking, exaggerated by pity for one sunk so low?” said Rachel, in an excited manner.
“But he thinks it’s a weird, misplaced affection, blown out of proportion by sympathy for someone who’s fallen so low?” Rachel said, excitedly.
“Rachel,” said Ermine, “you must take my beginning as a pledge of my speaking the whole truth. Colonel Keith is certainly not fond of you personally, and rather wonders at Alick, but he has never doubted that this is the genuine feeling that is for life, and that it is capable of making you both better and happier. Indeed, Rachel, we do both feel that you suit Alick much more than many people who have been far better liked.”
“Rachel,” said Ermine, “you have to take my starting point as a promise that I’m telling you the whole truth. Colonel Keith definitely doesn’t have a personal liking for you and is a bit puzzled by Alick, but he has never questioned that this is a genuine feeling that lasts a lifetime and can truly make both of you better and happier. Honestly, Rachel, we both believe that you’re a much better match for Alick than many others who have been much more liked.”
Rachel looked cheered. “Yet you,” she faltered, “you have been an instance of resolute withstanding.”
Rachel looked happy. “But you,” she hesitated, “you have been an example of strong endurance.”
“I don’t think I shall be long,” murmured Ermine, a vivid colour flashing forth upon her cheek, and leading the question from herself. “Just suppose you did carry out this fierce act of self-abnegation, what do you think could come next?”
“I don’t think I’ll be long,” whispered Ermine, a bright color coming to her cheek, shifting the question away from herself. “Just imagine if you actually went through with this intense act of self-sacrifice, what do you think would happen next?”
“I don’t know! I would not break down or die if I could help it,” added Rachel, faintly after her brave beginning.
“I don’t know! I wouldn’t break down or die if I could help it,” Rachel added, faintly after her brave start.
“And for him? Do you think being cast off would be so very pleasant to him?”
“And what about him? Do you think being rejected would be so enjoyable for him?”
Rachel hung her head, and her lips made a half murmur of, “Would not it be good for him?”
Rachel hung her head, and her lips barely formed the words, “Wouldn’t it be good for him?”
“No, Rachel, it is the very sorest trial there can be when, even in the course of providence, kind intentions are coldly requited; and it would be incalculably harder when therewith there would be rejection of love.”
“No, Rachel, it is the most painful experience there can be when, even in the course of fate, good intentions are met with indifference; and it would be unimaginably harder when that comes with a rejection of love.”
“Ah! I never said I could do it. I could not tell him I did not care for him, and short of that nothing would stop it,” sobbed Rachel, “only I wished to feel it was not very mean—very wrong.” She laid her weary head on Ermine’s lap, and Ermine bent down and kissed her.
“Ah! I never said I could do it. I couldn’t tell him I didn’t care about him, and besides that, nothing would stop it,” sobbed Rachel, “I just wished to feel like it wasn’t very mean—very wrong.” She rested her tired head on Ermine’s lap, and Ermine bent down and kissed her.
“So happy, so bright and free, and capable, his life seems now,” proceeded Rachel. “I can’t understand his joining it to mine; and if people shunned and disliked him for my sake!”
“So happy, so bright and free, and so capable, his life seems now,” Rachel continued. “I can’t understand why he would want to join it with mine; and what if people avoided and disliked him because of me!”
“Surely that will depend on yourself. I have never seen you in society, but if you have the fear of making him unpopular or remarkable before your eyes, you will avoid it.”
“That really depends on you. I’ve never seen you in social settings, but if you’re worried about making him unpopular or standing out in front of you, you’ll steer clear of it.”
“Oh, yes, I know,” said Rachel, impatiently. “I did think I should not have been a commonplace woman,” and she shed a few tears.
“Oh, yes, I know,” Rachel said, impatiently. “I really thought I wouldn’t be an ordinary woman,” and she shed a few tears.
Ermine was provoked with her, and began to think that she had been arguing on a wrong tack, and that it would be better after all for Alick to be free. Rachel looked up presently. “It must be very odd to you to hear me say so, but I can’t help feeling the difference. I used to think it so poor and weak to be in love, or to want any one to take care of one. I thought marriage such ordinary drudgery, and ordinary opinions so contemptible, and had such schemes for myself. And this—and this is such a break down, my blunders and their consequences have been so unspeakably dreadful, and now instead of suffering, dying—as I felt I ought—it has only made me just like other women, for I know I could not live without him, and then all the rest of it must come for his sake.”
Ermine was annoyed with her and started to think that she had been arguing in the wrong direction, and that it might actually be better for Alick to be free. Rachel looked up after a moment. “It must sound really strange to you to hear me say this, but I can’t help but feel the difference. I used to think it was so weak and pitiful to be in love or to need someone to take care of me. I viewed marriage as such mundane work, and I found ordinary opinions so easy to dismiss, and I had all these plans for myself. But this—and this is such a collapse, my mistakes and their consequences have been so unbelievably awful, and now instead of suffering, dying—as I felt I should—it has only made me just like other women, because I know I can’t live without him, and so all the rest of it has to happen for his sake.”
“And will make you much more really useful and effective than ever you could have been alone,” said Ermine.
“And will make you much more truly useful and effective than you ever could have been on your own,” said Ermine.
“He does talk of doing things together, but, oh! I feel as if I could never dare put out my hand again!”
“He talks about doing things together, but oh! I feel like I could never dare to reach out my hand again!”
“Not alone perhaps.”
“Maybe not alone.”
“I like to hear him tell me about the soldiers’ children, and what he wants to have done for them.”
“I enjoy hearing him talk about the soldiers’ kids and what he wants to do for them.”
“You and I little thought what Lady Temple was to bring us,” said Ermine, cheerfully, “but you see we are not the strongest creatures in the world, so we must resign ourselves to our fate, and make the best of it. They must judge how many imperfections they choose to endure, and we can only make the said drawbacks as little troublesome as may be. Now, I think I see Miss Curtis watching in fear that I am over-talking you.”
“You and I didn’t think about what Lady Temple would bring us,” said Ermine, cheerfully, “but you see, we’re not the strongest people out there, so we have to accept our fate and make the best of it. They can decide how many flaws they’re willing to put up with, and we can only try to make those flaws as least bothersome as possible. Now, I think I see Miss Curtis watching anxiously, worried that I’m talking too much.”
“Oh, must you go? You have really comforted me! I wanted an external opinion very much, and I do trust yours! Only tell me,” she added, holding Ermine’s hand, “is this indeed so with you?”
“Oh, do you really have to leave? You've been such a comfort to me! I really wanted someone else's perspective, and I trust yours! Just tell me,” she said, holding Ermine’s hand, “is this really how you feel?”
“Not yet,” said Ermine, softly, “do not speak about it, but I think you will be comforted to hear that this matter of yours, by leading to the matron’s confession, may have removed an obstacle that was far more serious in my eyes than even my own helplessness, willing as Colin was to cast both aside. Oh, Rachel, there is a great deal to be thankful for.”
“Not yet,” Ermine said softly, “let's not talk about it, but I think you’ll be relieved to know that this issue of yours, by prompting the matron’s confession, may have taken away a barrier that I saw as much more serious than my own inability, even though Colin was ready to put both aside. Oh, Rachel, there’s so much to be grateful for.”
Rachel lay down on her sofa, and fell asleep, nor did Alick find any occasion for blaming Grace when he returned the next day. The effect of the conversation had been to bring Rachel to a meek submission, very touching in its passiveness and weary peacefulness. She was growing stronger, walked out leaning on Alick’s arm, and was even taken out by him in a boat, a wonderful innovation, for a dangerous accident to Mr. Curtis had given the mother such a horror of the sea that no boating excursions had ever taken place during her solitary reign, and the present were only achieved by a wonderful stretch of dear Alexander’s influence. Perhaps she trusted him the more, because his maimed hand prevented him from being himself an oarsman, though he had once been devoted to rowing. At any rate, with an old fisherman at the oar, many hours were spent upon the waters of the bay, in a tranquillity that was balm to the harassed spirit, with very little talking, now and then some reading aloud, but often nothing but a dreamy repose. The novelty and absence of old association was one secret of the benefit that Rachel thus derived. Any bustle or resumption of former habits was a trial to her shattered nerves, and brought back the dreadful haunted nights. The first sight of Conrade, still looking thin and delicate, quite overset her; a drive on the Avoncester road renewed all she had felt on the way thither; three or four morning visitors coming in on her unexpectedly, made the whole morbid sense of eyes staring at her recur all night, and when the London solicitor came down about the settlements, she shrank in such a painful though still submissive way, from the sight of a stranger, far more from the semblance of a dinner party, that the mother yielded, and let her remain in her sitting-room.
Rachel lay down on her sofa and fell asleep, and Alick didn't find any reason to blame Grace when he returned the next day. The conversation had made Rachel submissively meek, which was very touching in its passiveness and weary peacefulness. She was getting stronger, walked out leaning on Alick's arm, and he even took her out in a boat, which was a remarkable change, since a dangerous accident involving Mr. Curtis had made her mother terrified of the sea, preventing any boating trips during her time alone. This outing was only possible because of Alick's considerable influence. Maybe she trusted him more because his injured hand meant he couldn't row himself, even though he used to love it. Regardless, with an old fisherman at the oars, they spent many hours on the bay, enjoying a tranquility that soothed her troubled spirit, with very little conversation—sometimes Alick would read aloud, but often they just enjoyed a dreamy silence. The new experience and lack of old associations helped Rachel heal. Any chaos or return to previous habits stressed her frazzled nerves and brought back haunting nightmares. The first sight of Conrade, still looking thin and fragile, overwhelmed her; a drive on the Avoncester road brought back all she had felt on the way there; and when three or four morning visitors unexpectedly dropped by, it revived her anxiety of feeling watched, causing her to experience another sleepless night. When the London solicitor came down about the settlements, she recoiled painfully, though still submissively, from the sight of a stranger, especially from the idea of a dinner party, prompting her mother to let her stay in her sitting room.
“May I come in?” said Alick, knocking at the door. “I have something to tell you.”
“Can I come in?” Alick said, knocking on the door. “I have something to tell you.”
“What, Alick! Not Mr. Williams come?”
“What, Alick! Mr. Williams isn’t here?”
“Nothing so good. In fact I doubt if you will think it good at all. I have been consulting this same solicitor about the title-deeds; that cheese you let fall, you know,” he added, stroking her hand, and speaking so gently that the very irony was rather pleasant.
“Nothing that great. Honestly, I doubt you'll even think it's good at all. I've been talking to the same lawyer about the title deeds; that cheese you dropped, you know,” he added, softly stroking her hand and speaking so gently that the irony actually felt kind of nice.
“Oh, it is very bad.”
“Oh, it’s really bad.”
“Now wouldn’t you like to hear it was so bad that I should have to sell out, and go to the diggings to make it up?”
“Wouldn’t you want to hear it was so bad that I’d have to sell out and head to the mines to make up for it?”
“Now, Alick, if it were not for your sake, you know I should like—”
“Now, Alick, if it weren't for you, you know I would like—”
“I know you would; but you see, unfortunately, it was not a cheese at all, only a wooden block that the fox ran away with. Lawyers don’t put people’s title-deeds into such dangerous keeping, the true cheese is safe locked up in a tin-box in Mr. Martin’s chambers in London.”
“I know you would; but unfortunately, it wasn't a cheese at all, just a wooden block that the fox ran away with. Lawyers don’t keep people’s title-deeds in such risky places; the real cheese is safely locked up in a tin box in Mr. Martin’s office in London.”
“Then what did I give Mauleverer?”
“Then what did I give Mauleverer?”
“A copy kept for reference down here.” Rachel hid her face.
“A copy kept for reference down here.” Rachel hid her face.
“There, I knew you would think it no good news, and it is just a thunder-clap to me. All you wanted me for was to defend the mother and make up to the charity, and now there’s no use in me,” he said in a disconsolate tone.
“There, I knew you wouldn’t see it as good news, and it’s just a jolt for me. All you wanted me for was to stand up for the mother and help out with the charity, and now I’m useless,” he said in a hopeless tone.
“Oh, Alick, Alick, why am I so foolish?”
“Oh, Alick, Alick, why am I so stupid?”
“Never mind; I took care Martin should not know it. Nobody is aware of the little affair but our two selves; and I will take care the fox learns the worth of his prize. Only now, Rachel, answer me, is there any use left for me still?”
“Never mind; I made sure Martin wouldn’t know. No one else knows about this little affair except for us two, and I’ll make sure the fox realizes the value of his prize. But now, Rachel, tell me, is there still any purpose for me here?”
“You should not ask me such things, Alick, you know it all too well.”
“You shouldn't ask me those kinds of things, Alick, you know that all too well.”
“Not so well that I don’t want to hear it. But I had more to say. This Martin is a man of very different calibre from old Cox, with a head and heart in London charities and churches, and it had struck him as it did you, that the Homestead had an easier bargain of it than that good namesake of yours had ever contemplated. If it paid treble or quadruple rent, the dear mother would never find it out, nor grow a geranium the less.”
“Not so well that I don’t want to hear it. But I had more to say. This Martin is a man of a very different caliber from old Cox, with his mind and heart in London charities and churches, and he realized, just like you did, that the Homestead had a much easier deal than that good namesake of yours ever considered. Even if it paid three or four times the rent, the dear mother would never find out, nor would she grow a geranium any less.”
“No, she would not! But after all, the lace apprenticeships are poor work.”
“No, she wouldn’t! But then again, the lace apprenticeships are not great jobs.”
“So they are, but Martin says there would be very little difficulty in getting a private bill to enable the trustees to apply the sum otherwise for the benefit of the Avonmouth girls.”
“So they are, but Martin says it wouldn’t be too hard to get a private bill that would let the trustees use the money in a different way for the benefit of the Avonmouth girls.”
“Then if I had written to him, it would have been all right! Oh, my perverseness!”
“Then if I had just written to him, everything would have been fine! Oh, my stubbornness!”
“And, Rachel, now that money has been once so intended; suppose it kept its destination. About £500 would put up a tidy little industrial school, and you might not object to have a scholarship or two for some of our little —th Highlander lassies whose fathers won’t make orphans of them for the regular military charities. What, crying, Rachel! Don’t you like it?”
“And, Rachel, now that the money was meant for something; what if it actually went where it was intended? About £500 could set up a nice little industrial school, and you might not mind having a scholarship or two for some of our little Highlander girls whose fathers won't leave them as orphans for the usual military charities. What, crying, Rachel! Don’t you like it?”
“It is my dream. The very thing I wished and managed so vilely. If Lovedy were alive! Though perhaps that is not the thing to wish. But I can’t bear taking your—”
“It’s my dream. The exact thing I wished for and messed up so badly. If Lovedy were here! But maybe that’s not what I should wish for. Still, I can’t stand taking your—”
“Hush! You can’t do worse than separate your own from mine. This is no part of the means I laid before Mr. Martin by way of proving myself a responsible individual. I took care of that. Part of this is prize-money, and the rest was a legacy that a rich old merchant put me down for in a transport of gratitude because his son was one of the sick in the bungalow where the shell came. I have had it these three or four months, and wondered what to do with it.”
“Hush! You can’t make things worse by separating your stuff from mine. This isn’t part of the way I showed Mr. Martin that I’m a responsible person. I handled that. Some of this is prize money, and the rest was a legacy that a wealthy old merchant left me as a thank-you because his son was one of the sick people in the bungalow when the shell hit. I’ve had it for three or four months now and have been wondering what to do with it.”
“This will be very beautiful, very excellent. And we can give the ground.”
“This is going to be really beautiful, really great. And we can give the land.”
“I have thought of another thing. I never heard of an industrial school where the great want was not food for industry. Now I know the Colonel and Mr. Mitchell have some notion floating in their minds about getting a house for convalescents down here, and it strikes me that this might supply the work in cooking, washing, and so on. I think I might try what they thought of it.”
“I've thought of something else. I've never come across an industrial school where the main need wasn't food for work. I know the Colonel and Mr. Mitchell have some idea about opening a place for recovering patients down here, and it seems to me that this could provide the work needed in cooking, laundry, and so on. I think I might ask them what they think about it.”
Rachel could only weep out her shame and thankfulness, and when Alick reverently added that it was a scheme that would require much thought and much prayer, the pang struck her to the heart—how little she had prayed over the F. U. E. E. The prayer of her life had been for action and usefulness, but when she had seen the shadow in the stream, her hot and eager haste, her unconscious detachment from all that was not visible and material had made her adhere too literally to that misinterpreted motto, laborare est orare. How should then her eyes be clear to discern between substance and shadow?
Rachel could only cry out of shame and gratitude, and when Alick respectfully pointed out that it was a plan that would need a lot of thought and prayer, it struck her deeply—how little she had prayed about the F. U. E. E. The prayer of her life had been for action and usefulness, but when she had seen the shadow in the stream, her intense and eager rush, her unconscious detachment from everything that wasn't visible and material, had led her to take that misinterpreted motto, laborare est orare, too literally. How could her eyes then be clear enough to tell the difference between substance and shadow?
CHAPTER XXIV. THE HONEYMOON.
“Around the very place doth brood A calm and holy quietude.”—REV. ISAAC WILLIAMS.
“Surrounding the area is a peaceful and sacred calm.” —REV. ISAAC WILLIAMS.
The level beams of a summer sun, ending one of his longest careers, were tipping a mountain peak with an ineffable rosy purple, contrasting with the deep shades of narrow ravines that cleft the rugged sides, and gradually expanded into valleys, sloping with green pasture, or clothed with wood. The whole picture, with its clear, soft sky, was retraced on the waters of the little lake set in emerald meadows, which lay before the eyes of Rachel Keith, as she reclined in a garden chair before the windows of a pretty rustic-looking hotel, but there was no admiration, no peaceful contemplation on her countenance, only the same weary air of depression, too wistful and startled even to be melancholy repose, and the same bewildered distressed look that had been as it were stamped on her by the gaze of the many unfriendly eyes at the Quarter Sessions, and by her two unfortunate dinner parties.
The level beams of a summer sun, marking the end of one of his longest careers, were lighting up a mountain peak with an indescribable rosy purple, contrasting with the deep shadows of narrow ravines that cut through the rugged sides and gradually widened into valleys, sloping with green pastures or covered in woods. The entire scene, with its clear, soft sky, was reflected in the waters of the small lake set in emerald meadows, which lay before Rachel Keith as she rested in a garden chair in front of the windows of a charming rustic hotel. But there was no admiration, no peaceful contemplation on her face, just the same weary expression of depression, too wistful and startled even to be a melancholic rest, and the same bewildered, distressed look that seemed to have been imprinted on her by the gaze of the many unfriendly faces at the Quarter Sessions, and during her two unfortunate dinner parties.
The wedding was to have been quietness itself, but though the bridegroom had refused to contribute sister, brother-in-law, or even uncle to the numbers, conventionalities had been too strong for Mrs. Curtis, and “just one more” had been added to the guests till a sufficient multitude had been collected to renew all Rachel’s morbid sensations of distress and bewilderment with their accompanying feverish symptoms, and she had been only able to proceed on her journey by very short stages, taken late in the day.
The wedding was supposed to be a simple affair, but even though the groom had decided not to include his sister, brother-in-law, or even an uncle on the guest list, Mrs. Curtis couldn't resist the pressure of tradition, and "just one more" was added to the list of guests until there were enough people to trigger all of Rachel’s overwhelming feelings of anxiety and confusion, along with their accompanying physical symptoms. As a result, she could only continue her journey in very short increments, taken late in the day.
Alick had not forgotten her original views as to travelling, and as they were eventually to go to Scotland, had proposed beginning with Dutch reformatories and Swiss cretins; but she was so plainly unfit for extra fatigue and bustle, that the first few weeks were to be spent in Wales, where the enjoyment of fine scenery might, it was hoped, be beneficial to the jaded spirits, and they had been going through a course of passes and glens as thoroughly as Rachel’s powers would permit, for any over-fatigue renewed feverishness and its delusive miseries, and the slightest alarm told upon the shattered nerves.
Alick hadn't forgotten her original thoughts about traveling, and since they were eventually going to Scotland, she suggested starting with Dutch reformatories and Swiss institutions for people with disabilities. However, she was clearly not up for any extra stress or commotion, so the first few weeks would be spent in Wales, where the hope was that enjoying the beautiful scenery would help lift their weary spirits. They had been exploring various passes and glens as much as Rachel could handle, since any overexertion caused renewed restlessness and its misleading troubles, and even the slightest scare affected their frayed nerves.
She did not easily give way at the moment, but the shock always took revenge in subsequent suffering, which all Alick’s care could not prevent, though the exceeding charm of his tenderness rendered even the indisposition almost precious to her.
She didn’t give in easily at that moment, but the shock always came back as suffering later on, which all of Alick’s efforts couldn’t stop, even though the incredible warmth of his kindness made even her discomfort feel somewhat valuable to her.
“What a lovely sunset!” he said, coming to lean over the back of her chair. “Have you been watching it?”
“What a beautiful sunset!” he said, leaning over the back of her chair. “Have you been watching it?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you very much tired?”
“Are you really tired?”
“No, it is very quiet here.”
“No, it’s super quiet here.”
“Very; but I must take you in before that curling mist mounts into your throat.”
“Definitely; but I need to bring you in before that curling mist gets into your throat.”
“This is a very nice place, Alick, the only really quiet one we have found.”
“This is a really nice place, Alick, the only truly quiet one we've found.”
“I am afraid that it will be so no longer. The landlord tells me he has letters from three parties to order rooms.”
“I’m afraid that won’t be the case anymore. The landlord says he has letters from three parties requesting rooms.”
“Oh, then, pray let us go on,” said Rachel, looking alarmed.
“Oh, then, please let’s continue,” Rachel said, looking worried.
“To-morrow afternoon then, for I find there’s another waterfall.”
"Tomorrow afternoon then, because I see there's another waterfall."
“Very well,” said Rachel, resignedly.
“Okay,” Rachel said, resignedly.
“Or shall we cut the waterfall, and get on to Llan—something?”
“Or should we skip the waterfall and move on to Llan—something?”
“If you don’t think we ought to see it.”
“If you don't think we should see it.”
“Ought?” he said, smiling. “What is the ought in the case? Why are we going through all this? Is it a duty to society or to ourselves?”
“Ought?” he said, smiling. “What’s the obligation here? Why are we going through all this? Is it a responsibility to society or to ourselves?”
“A little of both, I suppose,” said Rachel.
“A bit of both, I guess,” Rachel said.
“And, Rachel, from the bottom of your heart, is it not a trying duty?”
“And, Rachel, from the bottom of your heart, is it not a challenging responsibility?”
“I want to like what you are showing me,” said Rachel.
“I want to like what you’re showing me,” Rachel said.
“And you are more worried than delighted, eh?”
“And you're more worried than happy, huh?”
“I—I don’t know! I see it is grand and beautiful! I did love my own moors, and the Spinsters’ Needles, but—Don’t think me very ungrateful, but I can’t enter into all this! All I really do care for is your kindness, and helping me about,” and she was really crying like a child unable to learn a lesson.
“I—I don’t know! I see it’s grand and beautiful! I did love my own moors and the Spinsters’ Needles, but—please don’t think I’m being ungrateful, but I just can’t get into all this! All I really care about is your kindness and helping me with things,” and she was genuinely crying like a child who couldn’t grasp a lesson.
“Well,” he said, with his own languor of acquiescence, “we are perfectly agreed. Waterfalls are an uncommon bore, if one is not in a concatenation accordingly.”
“Well,” he said, with his own laid-back agreement, “we're totally in sync. Waterfalls are pretty boring if you’re not in the right mood for them.”
Rachel was beguiled into a smile.
Rachel was charmed into a smile.
“Come,” he said, “let us be strong minded! If life should ever become painful to us because of our neglect of the waterfalls, we will set out and fulfil our tale of them. Meantime, let me take you where you shall be really quiet, home to Bishopsworthy.”
“Come,” he said, “let’s be strong-minded! If life ever gets painful for us because we ignored the waterfalls, we’ll go and tell our story about them. In the meantime, let me take you somewhere you can be truly at peace, home to Bishopsworthy.”
“But your uncle does not expect you so soon.”
“But your uncle doesn’t expect you this soon.”
“My uncle is always ready for me, and a week or two of real rest there would make you ready for the further journey.”
“My uncle is always prepared for me, and spending a week or two of real relaxation there would get you ready for the next part of the journey.”
Rachel made no opposition. She was glad to have her mind relieved from the waterfalls, but she had rather have been quite alone with her husband. She knew that Lord and Lady Keith had taken a house at Littleworthy, while Gowanbrae was under repair, and she dreaded the return to the bewildering world, before even the first month was over; but Alick made the proposal so eagerly that she could not help assenting with all the cordiality she could muster, thinking that it must be a wretched, disappointing wedding tour for him, and she would at least not prevent his being happy with his uncle; as happy as he could be with a person tied to him, of whom all his kindred must disapprove, and especially that paragon of an uncle, whom she heard of like an intensification of all that class of clergy who had of late been most alien to her.
Rachel didn’t put up any resistance. She was relieved to free her mind from the waterfalls, but she would have preferred to be completely alone with her husband. She knew that Lord and Lady Keith had rented a house at Littleworthy while Gowanbrae was being renovated, and she dreaded returning to the confusing world before the first month was even over. However, Alick proposed it so eagerly that she couldn't help but agree with as much enthusiasm as she could manage, thinking that it would be a miserable and disappointing honeymoon for him, and she didn’t want to stop him from enjoying time with his uncle; as happy as he could be with someone tied to him, whom all his family must disapprove of, especially that exceptional uncle, who she heard about as an extreme version of all the clergy who had recently felt most distant to her.
Alick did not press for her real wishes, but wrote his letter, and followed it as fast as she could bear to travel. So when the train, a succession of ovens for living bodies disguised in dust, drew up at the Littleworthy Station, there was a ready response to the smart footman’s inquiry, “Captain and Mrs. Keith?” This personage by no means accorded with Rachel’s preconceived notions of the Rectory establishment, but she next heard the peculiar clatter by which a grand equipage announces its importance, and saw the coronetted blinkers tossing on the other side of the railing. A kind little note of welcome was put into Rachel’s hand as she was seated in the luxurious open carriage, and Alick had never felt better pleased with his sister than when he found his wife thus spared the closeness of the cramping fly, or the dusty old rectory phaeton. Hospitality is never more welcome than at the station, and Bessie’s letter was complacently accepted. Rachel would, she knew, be too much tired to see her on that day, and on the next she much regretted having an engagement in London, but on the Sunday they would not fail to meet, and she begged that Rachel would send word by the servant what time Meg should be sent to the Rectory for her to ride; it would be a kindness to exercise her, for it was long since she had been used.
Alick didn't push for her true feelings, but he wrote his letter and followed it as quickly as she could handle the journey. So when the train, a series of stuffy compartments disguised in dust, arrived at the Littleworthy Station, there was an eager reply to the smart footman’s question, “Captain and Mrs. Keith?” This person didn't match Rachel’s expectations of the Rectory setup, but then she heard the distinct sound that a fancy carriage makes as it arrives and saw the heraldic blinkers bobbing on the other side of the fence. A sweet note welcoming her was placed in Rachel’s hand as she settled into the plush open carriage, and Alick had never felt happier with his sister than when he realized his wife was spared the cramped discomfort of the stuffy cab or the dusty old rectory carriage. Hospitality is never more appreciated than at the station, and Bessie’s letter was warmly received. Rachel knew she’d be too tired to see her that day, and the next day she regretted having an engagement in London, but they were sure to meet on Sunday; she requested that Rachel let the servant know what time Meg should be sent to the Rectory so she could go for a ride. It would be a nice gesture to get her some exercise, as it had been a long time since she had the chance.
Rachel could not help colouring with pleasure at the notion of riding her own Meg again, and Alick freely owned that it was well thought of. He already had a horse at his uncle’s, and was delighted to see Rachel at last looking forward to something. But as she lay back in the carriage, revelling in the fresh wind, she became dismayed at the succession of cottages of gentility, with lawns and hedges of various pretensions.
Rachel couldn't help but smile with joy at the idea of riding her own Meg again, and Alick openly admitted that it was a great idea. He already had a horse at his uncle’s and was thrilled to see Rachel finally looking forward to something. But as she relaxed in the carriage, enjoying the fresh breeze, she started to feel disheartened by the rows of charming cottages, each with their own fancy lawns and hedges.
“There must be a terrible number of people here!”
“There must be a huge number of people here!”
“This is only Littleworthy.”
“This is just Littleworthy.”
“Not very little.”
“Not that small.”
“No; I told you it was villafied and cockneyfied. There,” as the horses tried to stop at a lodge leading to a prettily built house, “that’s Timber End, the crack place here, where Bessie has always said it was her ambition to live.”
“No; I told you it was made to look fancy and was full of Cockney style. There,” as the horses tried to stop at a lodge leading to a nicely built house, “that’s Timber End, the top spot around here, where Bessie has always said it was her dream to live.”
“How far is it from the Parsonage?”
“How far is it from the Parsonage?”
“Four miles.”
"4 miles."
Which was a comfort to Rachel, not that she wished to be distant from Bessie, but the population appalled her imagination.
Which was a comfort to Rachel, not that she wanted to be distant from Bessie, but the crowd horrified her imagination.
“Bishopsworthy is happily defended by a Dukery,” explained Alick, as coming to the end of the villas they passed woods and fields, a bit of heathy common, and a scattering of cottages. Labourers going home from work looked up, and as their eyes met Alick’s there was a mutual smile and touch of the hat. He evidently felt himself coming home. The trees of a park were beginning to rise in front, when the carriage turned suddenly down a sharp steep hill; the right side of the road bounded by a park paling; the left, by cottages, reached by picturesque flights of brick stairs, then came a garden wall, and a halt. Alick called out, “Thanks,” and “we will get out here,” adding, “They will take in the goods the back way. I don’t like careering into the churchyard.”
“Bishopsworthy is well protected by a Dukery,” Alick explained, as they reached the end of the villas and passed woods, fields, a patch of heathland, and a few scattered cottages. Laborers heading home from work looked up, and as their eyes met Alick’s, they exchanged mutual smiles and tipped their hats. He clearly felt like he was coming home. The trees of a park were beginning to rise ahead when the carriage suddenly turned down a steep hill; the right side of the road was bordered by a park fence, and the left had cottages with charming brick stairs leading up to them, followed by a garden wall, and then a stop. Alick called out, “Thanks,” and “we’ll get out here,” adding, “They’ll take the luggage in through the back. I don’t like driving into the churchyard.”
Rachel, alighting, saw that the lane proceeded downwards to a river crossed by a wooden bridge, with an expanse of meadows beyond. To her left was a stable-yard, and below it a white gate and white railings enclosing a graveyard, with a very beautiful church standing behind a mushroom yew-tree. The upper boundary of the churchyard was the clipped yew hedge of the rectory garden, whose front entrance was through the churchyard. There was a lovely cool tranquillity of aspect as the shadows lay sleeping on the grass; and Rachel could have stood and gazed, but Alick opened the gate, and there was a movement at the seat that enclosed the gnarled trunk of the yew tree. A couple of village lads touched their caps and departed the opposite way, a white setter dog bounded forward, and, closely attended by a still snowier cat, a gentleman came to meet them, so fearlessly treading the pathway between the graves, and so youthful in figure, that it was only the “Well, uncle, here she is,” and, “Alick, my dear boy,” that convinced her that this was indeed Mr. Clare. The next moment he had taken her hand, kissed her brow, and spoken a few words of fatherly blessing, then, while Alick exchanged greetings with the cat and dog, he led her to the arched yew-tree entrance to his garden, up two stone steps, along a flagged path across the narrow grass-plat in front of the old two-storied house, with a tiled verandah like an eyebrow to the lower front windows.
Rachel, getting out, saw that the path sloped down to a river crossed by a wooden bridge, with a wide stretch of meadows beyond. To her left was a stable yard, and below it, a white gate and white railings enclosed a graveyard, with a beautiful church standing behind a mushroom-shaped yew tree. The churchyard’s upper boundary was marked by the neatly trimmed yew hedge of the rectory garden, whose front entrance was through the churchyard. There was a lovely, cool sense of peace as the shadows lay softly on the grass; Rachel could have stood there staring, but Alick opened the gate, and there was movement at the seat surrounding the gnarled trunk of the yew tree. A couple of village boys tipped their caps and walked away, a white setter dog bounded forward, and, closely followed by an even whiter cat, a gentleman came to meet them, walking confidently along the path between the graves. He appeared so youthful that it was only when he said, “Well, uncle, here she is,” and “Alick, my dear boy,” that Rachel realized this was actually Mr. Clare. In the next moment, he took her hand, kissed her forehead, and spoke a few words of fatherly blessing. While Alick greeted the cat and dog, he led her to the arched yew tree entrance to his garden, up two stone steps, along a paved path across the small grass area in front of the old two-story house, which had a tiled verandah resembling an eyebrow over the lower front windows.
Instead of entering by the door in the centre, he turned the corner of the house, where the eastern gable disclosed a window opening on a sloping lawn full of bright flower-beds. The room within was lined with books and stored with signs of parish work, but with a refined orderliness reigning over the various little ornaments, and almost betokening feminine habitation; and Alick exclaimed with admiration of a large bowl of fresh roses, beautifully arranged.
Instead of going in through the front door, he walked around the house, where the eastern gable showed a window overlooking a sloping lawn filled with colorful flower beds. The room inside was lined with books and filled with signs of community work, yet it had a neat orderliness that suggested a woman lived there; Alick exclaimed in admiration at a large bowl of fresh roses, beautifully arranged.
“Traces of Bessie,” said Mr. Clare; “she brought them this morning, and spent nearly an hour in arranging them and entertaining me with her bright talk. I have hardly been able to keep out of the room since, they make it so delicious.”
“Traces of Bessie,” said Mr. Clare; “she brought them this morning and spent almost an hour arranging them and keeping me entertained with her lively conversation. I’ve hardly been able to stay out of the room since; they make it so delightful.”
“Do you often see her?” asked Alick.
“Do you see her often?” asked Alick.
“Yes, dear child, she is most good-natured and attentive, and I take it most kindly of her, so courted as she is.”
“Yes, dear child, she is very kind and attentive, and I appreciate that about her, especially considering how much attention she gets.”
“How do you get on with his lordship?”
“How do you get along with him?”
“I don’t come much in his way, he has been a good deal laid up with sciatica, but he seems very fond of her; and it was all her doing that they have been all this time at Littleworthy, instead of being in town for the season. She thought it better for him.”
“I don’t get in his way much; he’s been dealing with sciatica a lot, but he seems really fond of her. It was all her idea for them to stay at Littleworthy this whole time instead of being in town for the season. She thought it would be better for him.”
“And where is Mr. Lifford?” asked Alick.
“And where is Mr. Lifford?” Alick asked.
“Gone to M—— till Saturday.”
“Gone to M—— until Saturday.”
“Unable to face the bride.”
“Can't face the bride.”
“I fear Ranger is not equally shy,” said Mr. Clare, understanding a certain rustle and snort to import that the dog was pressing his chin hard upon Rachel’s knee, while she declared her content with the handsome creature’s black depth of eye; and the cat executed a promenade of tenderness upon Alick.
“I’m afraid Ranger isn't as shy,” said Mr. Clare, noticing a certain rustle and snort that suggested the dog was pushing his chin against Rachel’s knee as she expressed her admiration for the beautiful animal’s deep black eyes; meanwhile, the cat was gracefully walking around Alick.
“How are the peacocks, Alick?” added Mr. Clare; “they, at least, are inoffensive pets. I dreaded the shears without your superintendence, but Joe insisted that they were getting lop-sided.”
“How are the peacocks, Alick?” Mr. Clare added; “at least they are harmless pets. I was worried about using the shears without your supervision, but Joe insisted they were looking uneven.”
Alick put his head out at the window. “All right, sir; Joe has been a little hard on the crest of the left-hand one, but it is recovering.”
Alick leaned out the window. “Alright, sir; Joe has been a bit tough on the top of the left one, but it’s getting better.”
Whereupon, Rachel discovered that the peacocks were creatures of yew-tree, perched at either end of the garden fence. Mr. Clare had found them there, and preserved them with solicitous fidelity.
Whereupon, Rachel discovered that the peacocks were made of yew tree, perched at either end of the garden fence. Mr. Clare had found them there and took care of them with attentive dedication.
Nothing could be less like than he was to the grave, thin, stooping ascetic in a long coat, that she had expected. He was a tall, well-made man, of the same youthful cast of figure as his nephew, and a far lighter and more springy step, with features and colouring recalling those of his niece, as did the bright sunny playful sweetness of his manner; his dark handsome eyes only betraying their want of sight by a certain glassy immobility that contrasted with the play of the expressive mouth. It was hard to guess why Bessie should have shunned such an uncle. Alick took Rachel to the bedroom above the library, and, like it, with two windows—one overlooking churchyard, river, and hay-fields, the other commanding, over the peacock hedge, a view of the playground, where Mr. Clare was seen surrounded by boys, appealing to him on some disputed matter of cricket. There was a wonderful sense of serenity, freshness, and fragrance, inexpressibly grateful to Rachel’s wearied feelings, and far more comfortable than the fine scenery through which she had been carried, because no effort to look and admire was incumbent on her—nay, not even an effort to talk all the evening. Mr. Clare seemed to have perfectly imbibed the idea that rest was what she wanted, and did not try to make small talk with her, though she sat listening with pleased interest to the conversation between him and his nephew—so home like, so full of perfect understanding of one another.
Nothing could be more different from the grave, thin, stooped ascetic in a long coat that she had expected. He was a tall, well-built man, with a youthful figure like his nephew, and a much lighter, more springy step. His features and coloring reminded her of his niece, just as his bright, sunny, playful demeanor did; his dark, handsome eyes revealed their lack of sight only through a certain glassy immobility that contrasted with the expressive play of his mouth. It was hard to understand why Bessie had avoided such an uncle. Alick took Rachel to the bedroom above the library, which also had two windows—one overlooking the churchyard, river, and hayfields, and the other giving a view over the peacock hedge toward the playground, where Mr. Clare was seen surrounded by boys, who were appealing to him about a disputed cricket matter. There was a wonderful sense of serenity, freshness, and fragrance, incredibly comforting to Rachel’s tired feelings, far more so than the beautiful scenery she had passed through, because she didn’t have to make an effort to look and admire—she didn’t even have to put in any effort to talk all evening. Mr. Clare seemed to completely understand that what she needed was rest, and he didn’t try to make small talk with her, even though she listened with pleased interest to the conversation between him and his nephew—it felt so homely, so full of perfect understanding between them.
“Is there anything to be read aloud?” presently asked Alick.
“Is there anything to read out loud?” Alick asked right now.
“You have not by chance got ‘Framley Parsonage?’”
“You haven’t happened to have ‘Framley Parsonage?’”
“I wish I had. I did pick up ‘Silas Marner,’ at a station, thinking you might like it,” and he glanced at Rachel, who had, he suspected, thought his purchase an act of weakness. “Have you met with it?”
“I wish I had. I picked up ‘Silas Marner’ at a station, thinking you might like it,” he said, glancing at Rachel, who he thought probably saw his purchase as a sign of weakness. “Have you come across it?”
“I have met with nothing of the sort since you were here last;” then turning to Rachel, “Alick indulges me with novels, for my good curate had rather read the catalogue of a sale any day than meddle with one, and I can’t set on my pupil teacher in a book where I don’t know what is coming.”
“I haven’t encountered anything like that since you were last here;” then turning to Rachel, “Alick treats me to novels, because my good curate would rather read a catalog of a sale any day than deal with one, and I can’t have my student teacher work on a book where I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“We will get ‘Framley,’” said Alick.
“We're going to get ‘Framley,’” Alick said.
“Bessie has it. She read me a very clever scene about a weak young parson bent on pleasing himself; and offered to lend me the book, but I thought it would not edify Will Walker. But, no doubt, you have read it long ago.”
“Bessie has it. She read me a really clever scene about a weak young minister focused on his own desires; and she offered to lend me the book, but I figured it wouldn’t really benefit Will Walker. But, I’m sure you’ve read it ages ago.”
“No,” said Rachel; and something withheld her from disclaiming such empty employments. Indeed, she was presently much interested in the admirable portraiture of “Silas Marner,” and still more by the keen, vivid enjoyment, critical, droll, and moralizing, displayed by a man who heard works of fiction so rarely that they were always fresh to him, and who looked on them as studies of life. His hands were busy all the time carving a boss for the roof of one of the side aisles of his church—the last step in its gradual restoration.
“No,” said Rachel; and something stopped her from dismissing such pointless activities. In fact, she became quite intrigued by the amazing portrayal of “Silas Marner,” and even more by the sharp, lively enjoyment—critical, humorous, and reflective—shown by a man who listened to works of fiction so infrequently that they always felt new to him, viewing them as insights into life. His hands were constantly busy carving a decorative piece for the roof of one of the side aisles of his church—the final step in its slow restoration.
That night there was no excitement of nerve, no morbid fancy to trouble Rachel’s slumbers; she only awoke as the eight o’clock bell sounded through the open window, and for the first time for months rose less weary than she had gone to rest. Week-day though it were, the description “sweet day, so calm, so cool, so bright,” constantly recurred to her mind as she watched the quiet course of occupation. Alick, after escorting his uncle to a cottage, found her searching among the stores in the music stand.
That night, Rachel didn’t feel anxious or troubled by dark thoughts; she only woke up when the eight o’clock bell rang through the open window, and for the first time in months, she got up feeling less tired than when she went to bed. Even though it was a weekday, the phrase “sweet day, so calm, so cool, so bright” kept coming to her mind as she observed the peaceful flow of activities. Alick, after walking his uncle to a cottage, found her rummaging through the supplies in the music stand.
“You unmusical female,” he said, “what is that for?”
“You tone-deaf woman,” he said, “what’s that for?”
“Your uncle spoke of music last night, and I thought he would like it.”
“Your uncle talked about music last night, and I thought he would enjoy it.”
“I thought you had no such propensity.”
“I thought you didn’t have that kind of tendency.”
“I learnt like other people, but it was the only thing I could not do as well as Grace, and I thought it wasted time, and was a young ladyism; but if can recover music enough to please him, I should be glad.”
“I learned like everyone else, but it was the one thing I couldn’t do as well as Grace, and I thought it was a waste of time and a bit pretentious; but if I can get good enough at music to please him, I’d be happy.”
“Thank you,” said Alick, earnestly. “He is very much pleased with your voice in speaking. Indeed, I believe I first heard it with his ears.”
“Thank you,” Alick said earnestly. “He really appreciates your voice when you speak. In fact, I think I first heard it through him.”
“This is a thorough lady’s collection of music,” said Rachel, looking through it to hide her blush of pleasure. “Altogether the house has not a bachelor look.”
“This is a complete collection of music for ladies,” Rachel said, browsing through it to hide her delighted blush. “Overall, the house doesn’t have a bachelor vibe.”
“Did you not know that he had been married? It was when he first had the living twelve years ago. She was a very lovely young thing, half Irish, and this was the happiest place in the world for two years, till her little brother was sent home here from school without proper warning of a fever that had begun there. We all had it, but she and her baby were the only ones that did not recover! There they lie, under the yew-tree, where my uncle likes to teach the children. He was terribly struck down for years, though he went manfully to his work, and it has been remarkable how his spirits and sociability have returned since he lost his sight; indeed, he is more consistently bright than ever he was.”
“Did you not know he was married? It was when he first got the position twelve years ago. She was a beautiful young woman, half Irish, and for two years, this was the happiest place in the world until her little brother was sent home from school without proper warning of a fever that had started there. We all caught it, but she and her baby were the only ones who didn’t make it! They lie there under the yew tree, where my uncle enjoys teaching the kids. He was really devastated for years, even though he tackled his work bravely, and it’s been amazing how much his spirits and sociability have improved since he lost his sight; in fact, he’s consistently brighter than he’s ever been.”
“I never saw any one like him,” said Rachel. “I have fallen in with clergy that some call holy, and with some that others call pious, but he is not a bit like either. He is not even grave, yet there is a calming, refreshing sense of reverence towards him that would be awe, only it is so happy.”
“I’ve never met anyone like him,” Rachel said. “I’ve come across clergy that some people call holy, and others that some consider pious, but he’s nothing like either of those. He’s not even serious, yet there’s a peaceful, refreshing sense of respect towards him that feels like awe, but it’s so joyful.”
Alick’s response was to bend over her, and kiss her brow. She had never seen him so much gratified.
Alick leaned down and kissed her forehead. She had never seen him so pleased.
“What a comfort your long stay with him must have been,” she said presently, “in the beginning of his blindness!”
“What a relief your long stay with him must have been,” she said after a moment, “at the start of his blindness!”
“I hope so. It was an ineffable comfort to me to come here out of Littleworthy croquet, and I think cheering me did him good. Rachel, you may do and say what you please,” he added, earnestly, “since you have taken to him.”
“I hope so. It was an indescribable comfort to me to come here instead of playing croquet in Littleworthy, and I think it did him good to cheer me up. Rachel, you can do and say whatever you want,” he added earnestly, “now that you’ve taken to him.”
“I could not help it,” said Rachel, though a slight embarrassment came over her at the recollection of Bessie, and at the thought of the narrow views on which she expected to differ. Then, as Alick continued to search among the music, she asked, “Will he like the piano to be used?”
“I couldn’t help it,” Rachel said, feeling a bit embarrassed as she thought about Bessie and the narrow views she knew they would disagree on. Then, as Alick kept looking through the music, she asked, “Will he mind if I use the piano?”
“Of all things. Bessie’s singing is his delight. Look, could we get this up?”
“Of all things, Bessie’s singing is what he loves. Hey, can we turn this up?”
“You don’t sing, Alick! I mean, do you?”
“You don’t sing, Alick! Seriously, do you?”
“We need not betray our talents to worldlings base.”
“We shouldn’t waste our talents on shallow people.”
Rachel found her accompaniment the least satisfactory part of the affair, and resolved on an hour’s practice every day in Mr. Clare’s absence, a wholesome purpose even as regarded her health and spirits. She had just sat down to write letters, feeling for the first time as if they would not be a toil, when Mr. Clare looked in to ask Alick to refer to a verse in the Psalms, quoting it in Greek as well as English, and after the research had been carried to the Hebrew, he told Rachel that he was going to write his sermon, and repaired to the peacock path, where he paced along with Ranger and the cat, in faithful, unobtrusive attendance.
Rachel found her playing the least satisfying part of the situation and decided to practice for an hour every day while Mr. Clare was away, which was a healthy choice for her mood and well-being. She had just sat down to write letters, feeling for the first time that it wouldn't be a chore, when Mr. Clare came in to ask Alick to look up a verse in the Psalms, quoting it in both Greek and English. After they had checked the Hebrew text, he told Rachel he was going to write his sermon and headed to the peacock path, where he walked along with Ranger and the cat, both keeping him company quietly.
“What, you can read Hebrew, Alick?”
“What, you can read Hebrew, Alick?”
“So can you.”
"Me too."
“Enough to appreciate the disputed passages. When did you study it?”
“Enough to appreciate the arguments in question. When did you study it?”
“I learnt enough, when I was laid up, to look out my uncle’s texts for him.”
“I learned enough while I was recovering to find my uncle’s texts for him.”
She felt a little abashed by the tone, but a message called him away, and before his return Mr. Clare came back to ask for a reference to St. Augustine. On her offer of her services, she was thanked, and directed with great precision to the right volume of the Library of the Fathers, but spying a real St. Augustine, she could not be satisfied without a flight at the original. It was not, however, easy to find the place; she was forced to account for her delay by confessing her attempt, and then to profit by Mr. Clare’s directions, and, after all, her false quantities, though most tenderly and apologetically corrected, must have been dreadful to the scholarly ear, for she was obliged to get Alick to read the passage over to him before he arrived at the sense, and Rachel felt her flight of clever womanhood had fallen short. It was quite new to her to be living with people who knew more of, and went deeper into, everything than she did, and her husband’s powers especially amazed her.
She felt a bit embarrassed by his tone, but a message called him away, and before he came back, Mr. Clare returned to ask for a reference to St. Augustine. When she offered her help, he thanked her and precisely directed her to the right volume of the Library of the Fathers. However, when she spotted an actual St. Augustine, she couldn't settle for anything less than the original text. It wasn't easy to find the right passage; she had to explain her delay by admitting her attempt and then follow Mr. Clare's guidance. In the end, her mispronunciations, though corrected with kindness and apologies, must have sounded terrible to a scholar. She had to get Alick to read the passage to him before he could understand it, and Rachel felt like her cleverness had fallen short. It was a new experience for her to be surrounded by people who knew more and delved deeper into everything than she did, and her husband’s abilities, in particular, amazed her.
The afternoon was chiefly spent in the hay-field under a willow-tree; Mr. Clare tried to leave the young people to themselves, but they would not consent; and, after a good deal of desultory talk and description of the minnows and water-spiders, in whom Mr. Clare seemed to take a deep interest, they went on with their book till the horses came, and Alick took Rachel for a ride in Earlsworthy Park, a private gate of which, just opposite to the Rectory, was free to its inhabitants. The Duke was an old college friend of Mr. Clare, and though much out of health, and hardly ever able to reside at the Park, all its advantages were at the Rector’s service, and they were much appreciated when, on this sultry summer’s day, Rachel found shade and coolness in the deep arcades of the beech woods, and freshness on the upland lawns, as she rode happily on the dear old mare, by whom she really thought herself fondly recognised. There was something in the stillness of the whole, even in the absence of the roll and plash of the sea waves beside which she had grown up, that seemed to give her repose from the hurry and throb of sensations and thoughts that had so long preyed upon her; and when the ride was over she was refreshed, not tired, and the evening bell drew her to the conclusion most befitting a day spent in that atmosphere of quietude. She felt grateful to her husband for making no remark, though the only time she had been within a church since her illness had been at their wedding, he only gave her his arm, and said she should sit in the nook that used to be his in the time of his lameness; and a most sheltered nook it was, between a pillar and the open chancel screen, where no eyes could haunt her, even if the congregation had been more than a Saturday summer evening one.
The afternoon was mostly spent in the hayfield under a willow tree. Mr. Clare tried to let the young people enjoy themselves, but they insisted he join them. After a lot of casual talk about the minnows and water spiders, which seemed to fascinate Mr. Clare, they continued with their book until the horses arrived. Alick took Rachel for a ride in Earlsworthy Park, which had a private gate conveniently located just across from the Rectory for its residents. The Duke was an old college friend of Mr. Clare, and even though he was often unwell and couldn’t spend much time at the Park, all its amenities were available to the Rector, which they highly valued. On that hot summer day, Rachel found shade and coolness in the deep beech woods and freshness on the grassy hills as she happily rode the old mare, who she genuinely felt recognized her affectionately. There was something calming about the whole scene; even without the sound of the sea waves she had grown up with, it provided her with a break from the chaos of thoughts and feelings that had burdened her for so long. When the ride ended, she felt refreshed, not tired, and the evening bell led her to a peaceful conclusion for a day spent in that serene atmosphere. She appreciated her husband for not saying anything about the fact that the only time she had been in a church since her illness was their wedding. He simply offered her his arm and suggested she sit in the cozy spot that used to be his when he was injured; it was indeed a well-protected nook, tucked between a pillar and the open chancel screen, where she wouldn’t feel the gaze of others, even if the congregation had been more than just a Saturday summer evening crowd.
She only saw the pure, clear, delicately-toned hues of the east window, and the reverent richness of the chancel, and she heard the blind pastor’s deep musical voice, full of that expressive power always enhanced by the absence of a book. He led the Psalms with perfect security and a calm fervour that rendered the whole familiar service like something new and touching; the Lessons were read by Alick, and Rachel, though under any other circumstances she would have been startled to see him standing behind the Eagle, could not but feel all appropriate, and went along with each word as he read it in a tone well worthy of his uncle’s scholar. Whether few or many were present, Rachel knew not, thought not; she was only sensible of the fulness of calm joy that made the Thanksgiving touch her heart and fill her eyes with unbidden tears, that came far more readily than of old.
She saw only the bright, clear, soft colors streaming through the east window and the rich, respectful beauty of the chancel. She heard the blind pastor’s deep, musical voice, filled with a powerful expressiveness that was even more pronounced without a book in hand. He led the Psalms with complete confidence and a calm passion that made the entire familiar service feel fresh and moving. Alick read the Lessons, and Rachel, although she would have normally been surprised to see him standing behind the Eagle, felt that it was entirely fitting and followed along with every word he read in a tone worthy of his uncle’s teachings. She didn’t notice or care how many people were there; she was only aware of the overwhelming sense of calm joy that made the Thanksgiving resonate in her heart and fill her eyes with unexpected tears that came more easily than before.
“Yet this can’t be all,” she said to herself, as she wandered among the tall white lilies in the twilight; “is it a trance, or am I myself? I have not unthought or unfelt, yet I seem falling into a very sweet hypocrisy! Alick says thought will come back with strength. I don’t think I wish it!”
“Yet this can’t be it,” she thought to herself as she strolled among the tall white lilies in the evening light; “is this a dream, or am I really here? I haven’t stopped thinking or feeling, yet I feel like I’m slipping into a really nice delusion! Alick says my thoughts will return with more power. I’m not sure I want that!”
The curate did not return till after she had gone to bed, and in the morning he proved to be indeed a very dry and serious middle-aged man, extremely silent, and so grave that there was no knowing how much to allow for shyness. He looked much worn and had a wearied voice, and Mr. Clare and Alick were contriving all they could to give him the rest which he refused, Mr. Clare insisting on taking all the service that could be performed without eyes, and Alick volunteering school-work. This Rachel was not yet able to undertake, nor would Alick even let her go to church in the morning; but the shady garden, and the echoes of the Amens, and sweet, clear tones of singing, seemed to lull her on in this same gentle, unthinking state of dreamy rest; and thence, too, in the after part of the day, she could watch the rector, with his Sunday class, on his favourite seat under the yew-tree, close to the cross that marked the resting-place of his wife and child.
The curate didn't come back until after she had gone to bed, and in the morning, he turned out to be a very dry and serious middle-aged man, extremely quiet, and so solemn that it was hard to tell how much was due to shyness. He looked quite worn out and had a tired voice, and Mr. Clare and Alick were doing everything they could to give him the rest he refused, with Mr. Clare insisting on handling all the service that could be done without his sight, and Alick volunteering to do schoolwork. Rachel wasn’t able to take that on yet, nor would Alick even let her go to church in the morning; but the shady garden, along with the sounds of the Amens and the sweet, clear tones of singing, seemed to gently lull her into a dreamy state of rest; and later in the day, she could watch the rector with his Sunday class, seated on his favorite spot under the yew-tree, close to the cross that marked the resting place of his wife and child.
She went to church in the evening, sheltered from curious eyes in her nook, and there for a moment she heard the peculiar brush and sweep of rich silk upon pavement, and wondered at so sophisticated a sound in the little homely congregation, but forgot it again in the exulting, joyous beauty of the chants and hymns, led by the rector himself, and, oh, how different from poor Mr. Touchett’s best efforts! and forgot it still more in the unfettered eloquence of the preaching of a man of great natural power, and entirely accustomed to trust to his own inward stores. Like Ermine Williams, she could have said that this preaching was the first that won her attention. It certainly was the first that swept away all her spirit of criticising, and left her touched and impressed, not judging. On what north country folk call the loosing of the kirk, she, moving outwards after the throng, found herself close behind a gauzy white cloak over a lilac silk, that filled the whole breadth of the central aisle, and by the dark curl descending beneath the tiny white bonnet, as well as by the turn of the graceful head, she knew her sister-in-law, Lady Keith, of Gowanbrae. In the porch she was met with outstretched hands and eager greetings—
She went to church in the evening, hidden from curious eyes in her spot, and for a moment she heard the distinctive rustle of rich silk on pavement, wondering about such a sophisticated sound in the small, friendly congregation. But she quickly forgot it in the uplifting, beautiful chants and hymns, led by the rector himself—oh, how different from poor Mr. Touchett’s best attempts! She forgot it even more in the passionate preaching of a man with great natural talent, who completely relied on his own inner strength. Like Ermine Williams, she could have said that this preaching was the first that really caught her attention. It was definitely the first that silenced her critical spirit, leaving her touched and impressed instead of judging. When the service ended, she followed the crowd and found herself right behind a sheer white cloak over a lilac silk dress that took up the entire aisle. She recognized her sister-in-law, Lady Keith, of Gowanbrae, by the dark curl falling beneath the tiny white bonnet and the graceful turn of her head. In the porch, she was met with outstretched hands and warm greetings—
“At last! Where did you hide yourself? I had begun to imagine dire mischances.”
“At last! Where were you hiding? I started to think something really bad had happened.”
“Only in the corner by the chancel.”
“Only in the corner by the chancel.”
“Alick’s old nook! Keeping up honeymoon privileges! I have kept your secret faithfully. No one knows you are not on the top of Snowdon, or you would have had all the world to call on you.”
“Alick’s old spot! Still enjoying those honeymoon perks! I’ve kept your secret safe. No one knows you’re not at the top of Snowdon, or you would have had the whole world visiting you.”
“There are always the Earlsworthy woods,” said Alick.
“There are always the Earlsworthy woods,” Alick said.
“Or better still, come to Timber End. No one penetrates to my morning room,” laughed Bessie.
“Or even better, come to Timber End. No one comes into my morning room,” laughed Bessie.
“Now, Uncle George,” she said, as the rector appeared, “you have had a full allowance of them for three days, you must spare them to me to-morrow morning.”
“Now, Uncle George,” she said as the rector showed up, “you’ve had plenty of them for three days; you have to let me have them tomorrow morning.”
“So it is you, my lady,” he answered, with a pleased smile; “I heard a sort of hail-storm of dignity sailing in! How is Lord Keith?”
“So it’s you, my lady,” he replied, with a cheerful smile; “I heard a kind of storm of dignity approaching! How is Lord Keith?”
“Very stiff. I want him to have advice, but he hates doctors. What is the last Avonmouth news? Is Ermine in good heart, and the boys well again?”
“Very stiff. I want him to get some advice, but he hates doctors. What’s the latest news from Avonmouth? Is Ermine doing okay, and are the boys recovered?”
She was the same Bessie as ever—full of exulting animation, joined to a caressing manner that her uncle evidently delighted in; and to Rachel she was most kind and sisterly, welcoming her so as amply to please and gratify Alick. An arrangement was made that Rachel should be sent for early to spend the day at Timber End, and that Mr. Clare and Alick should walk over later. Then the two pretty ponies came with her little low carriage to the yew-tree gate, were felt and admired by Mr. Clare, and approved by Alick, and she drove off gaily, leaving all pleased and amused, but still there was a sense that the perfect serenity had been ruffled.
She was the same Bessie as always—full of lively energy, with a sweet demeanor that her uncle clearly loved; and to Rachel, she was very kind and sisterly, welcoming her in a way that would truly please Alick. They arranged for Rachel to be picked up early to spend the day at Timber End, and that Mr. Clare and Alick would walk over later. Then the two pretty ponies arrived with her little low carriage at the yew-tree gate, which Mr. Clare admired and Alick approved of, and she drove off happily, leaving everyone feeling pleased and entertained, but there was still a sense that the perfect calm had been disturbed.
“Rachel,” said Alick, as they wandered in the twilight garden, “I wonder if you would be greatly disappointed if our travels ended here.”
“Rachel,” Alick said as they strolled through the garden at dusk, “I wonder if you’d be really disappointed if our journey ended here.”
“I am only too glad of the quiet.”
“I’m really glad for the peace and quiet.”
“Because Lifford is in great need of thorough rest. He has not been away for more than a year, and now he is getting quite knocked up. All he does care to do, is to take lodgings near his wife’s asylum, poor man, and see her occasionally: sad work, but it is rest, and winds him up again; and there is no one but myself to whom he likes to leave my uncle. Strangers always do too little or too much; and there is a young man at Littleworthy for the long vacation who can help on a Sunday.”
“Lifford really needs a good break. He hasn't been away for over a year, and he's starting to feel worn out. All he wants to do is find a place to stay near his wife's asylum, poor guy, and visit her from time to time. It's a tough situation, but it gives him some rest and helps him recharge. I'm the only one he trusts to take care of my uncle. Strangers either don't do enough or do too much, and there's a young guy at Littleworthy who can lend a hand on Sundays during the long vacation.”
“Oh, pray let us stay as long as we can!”
“Oh, please let us stay as long as we can!”
“Giving up the Cretins?”
“Giving up the idiots?”
“It is no sacrifice. I am thankful not to be hunted about; and if anything could make me better pleased to be here, it would be feeling that I was not hindering you.”
“It’s no sacrifice. I’m grateful not to be chased around; and if there’s anything that could make me happier to be here, it would be knowing that I’m not holding you back.”
“Then I will hunt him away for six weeks or two months at least. It will be a great relief to my uncle’s mind.”
“Then I’ll get rid of him for at least six weeks or two months. It’ll really help ease my uncle's mind.”
It was so great a relief that Mr. Clare could hardly bring himself to accept the sacrifice of the honeymoon, and though there could be little doubt which way the discussion would end, he had not yielded when the ponies bore off Rachel on Monday morning.
It was such a huge relief that Mr. Clare could hardly bring himself to accept giving up the honeymoon, and even though it was pretty clear how the conversation would turn out, he hadn’t given in when the ponies took Rachel away on Monday morning.
Timber End was certainly a delightful place. Alick had railed it a cockney villa, but it was in good taste, and very fair and sweet with flowers and shade. Bessie’s own rooms, where she made Rachel charmingly at home, were wonderful in choiceness and elegance, exciting Rachel’s surprise how it could be possible to be so sumptuously lodged in such a temporary abode, for the house was only hired for a few months, while Gowanbrae was under repair. It was within such easy reach of London that Bessie had been able from thence to go through the more needful season gaieties; and she had thought it wise, both for herself and Lord Keith, not to enter on their full course. It sounded very moderate and prudent, and Rachel felt vexed with herself and Alick for recollecting a certain hint of his, that Lady Keith felt herself more of a star in her own old neighbourhood than she could be in London, and wisely abstained from a full flight till she had tried her wings. It was much pleasanter to go along with Bessie’s many far better and more affectionate reasons for prudence, and her minutely personal confidences about her habits, hopes, and fears, given with a strong sense of her own importance and consideration, yet with a warm sisterly tone that made them tokens of adoption, and with an arch drollery that invested them with a sort of grace. The number of engagements that she mentioned in town and country did indeed seem inconsistent with the prudence she spoke of with regard to her own health, or with her attention to that of her husband; but it appeared that all were quite necessary and according to his wishes, and the London ones were usually for the sake of trying to detach his daughter, Mrs. Comyn Menteith, from the extravagant set among whom she had fallen. Bessie was excessively diverting in her accounts of her relations with this scatter-brained step-daughter of hers, and altogether showed in the most flattering manner how much more thoroughly she felt herself belonging to her brother’s wife. If she had ever been amazed or annoyed at Alick’s choice, she had long ago surmounted the feeling, or put it out of sight, and she judiciously managed to leap over all that had passed since the beginning of the intimacy that had arisen at the station door at Avoncester. It was very flattering, and would have been perfectly delightful, if Rachel had not found herself wearying for Alick, and wondering whether at the end of seven months she should be as contented as Bessie seemed, to know her husband to be in the sitting-room without one sight of him.
Timber End was definitely a lovely place. Alick called it a cockney villa, but it had good taste and was filled with beautiful flowers and shade. Bessie’s own rooms, where she made Rachel feel right at home, were wonderfully chosen and elegant, making Rachel marvel at how someone could be so comfortably settled in such a temporary place, since the house was only rented for a few months while Gowanbrae was being repaired. It was close enough to London that Bessie could still enjoy the necessary social events of the season; she thought it would be wise, for both herself and Lord Keith, not to dive into everything at once. It sounded very reasonable, and Rachel felt frustrated with herself and Alick for recalling Alick's remark that Lady Keith felt more of a star in her old neighborhood than she could in London, and sensibly held back from diving into it all until she felt ready. It was much nicer to go along with Bessie’s many better and more heartfelt reasons for being cautious, and her detailed personal confidences about her habits, hopes, and fears, all shared with a strong sense of her own importance and consideration, yet with a warm sisterly tone that made them feel like tokens of acceptance, complete with a playful humor that gave them a touch of grace. The number of events she mentioned in town and country did seem to contradict the caution she claimed regarding her own health or her concern for her husband’s well-being; but it turned out that all these events were necessary and in line with his wishes, and the London ones were typically aimed at trying to pull his daughter, Mrs. Comyn Menteith, away from the extravagant crowd she had gotten involved with. Bessie was extremely entertaining in her accounts of her relationship with her scatterbrained stepdaughter, and it was clear how much more she felt she belonged to her brother’s wife. If she'd ever been surprised or annoyed by Alick's choice, she'd long since gotten over it or buried that feeling deep down, and she cleverly skipped over everything that had happened since the start of their friendship at the station door in Avoncester. It was quite flattering, and would have been perfectly delightful, if Rachel hadn’t found herself missing Alick, wondering if, after seven months, she would be as content as Bessie seemed to be, not having seen her husband while he sat in the other room.
At luncheon, however, when Lord Keith appeared, nothing could be prettier than his wife’s manner to him—bright, sweet, and with a touch of graceful deference, at which he always smiled and showed himself pleased, but Rachel thought him looking much older than in the autumn—he had little appetite, stooped a good deal, and evidently moved with pain. He would not go out of doors, and Bessie, after following him to the library, and spending a quarter of an hour in ministering to his comfort, took Rachel to sit by a cool dancing fountain in the garden, and began with some solicitude to consult her whether he could be really suffering from sciatica, or, as she had lately begun to suspect, from the effects of a blow from the end of a scaffold-pole that had been run against him when taking her through a crowded street. Rachel spoke of advice.
At lunch, however, when Lord Keith arrived, his wife's behavior towards him was nothing short of lovely—bright, sweet, and with a hint of graceful respect, which always made him smile and seemed to please him. But Rachel noticed he looked much older than he had in the autumn—he had little appetite, slouched a lot, and clearly moved with discomfort. He wouldn’t go outside, and Bessie, after following him to the library and spending about fifteen minutes trying to make him comfortable, took Rachel to sit by a cool, flowing fountain in the garden. She then expressed some concern, asking Rachel if he could really be suffering from sciatica or, as she had started to think, from the impact of a scaffold pole that had bumped into him while she was navigating through a crowded street. Rachel suggested seeking advice.
“What you, Rachel! you who despised allopathy!”
“What about you, Rachel! You who looked down on allopathy!”
“I have learnt not to despise advice.”
“I have learned not to disrespect advice.”
And Bessie would not trench on Rachel’s experiences.
And Bessie wouldn't intrude on Rachel's experiences.
“There’s some old Scotch doctor to whom his faith is given, and that I don’t half believe in. If he would see our own Mr. Harvey here it would be quite another thing; but it is of no use telling him that Alick would never have had an available knee but for Mr. Harvey’s management. He persists in leaving me to my personal trust in him, but for himself he won’t see him at any price! Have you seen Mr. Harvey?”
“There's this old Scotch doctor everyone believes in, but I don't fully trust him. If he would just see our own Mr. Harvey, it would be a completely different story; but there's no point in telling him that Alick would never have had a usable knee without Mr. Harvey's care. He insists on leaving my faith in him personal, but he refuses to see Mr. Harvey at any cost! Have you seen Mr. Harvey?”
“I have seen no one.”
“I haven't seen anyone.”
“Oh, I forgot, you are not arrived yet; but—”
“Oh, I forgot, you haven't arrived yet; but—”
“There’s some one,” exclaimed Rachel, nervously; and in fact a young man was sauntering towards them. Bessie rose with a sort of annoyance, and “Never mind, my dear, he is quite inoffensive, we’ll soon get rid of him.” Then, as he greeted her with “Good morning, Lady Keith, I thought I should find you here,” she quickly replied.
“There’s someone,” Rachel exclaimed nervously, and indeed a young man was strolling toward them. Bessie stood up with a hint of annoyance and said, “Never mind, my dear, he’s perfectly harmless; we’ll be rid of him soon.” Then, when he greeted her with “Good morning, Lady Keith, I thought I’d find you here,” she responded quickly.
“If you had been proper behaved and gone to the door, you would have known that I am not at home.”
“If you had behaved properly and gone to the door, you would have known that I’m not home.”
He smiled, and came nearer.
He smiled and approached.
“No, I am not at home, and, what is more, I do not mean to be. My uncle will be here directly,” she added, in a fee-faw-fum tone.
“No, I’m not home, and, what’s more, I don’t plan to be. My uncle will be here soon,” she added, in a playful tone.
“Then it is not true that your brother and his bride are arrived?”
“Then it's not true that your brother and his bride have arrived?”
“True in the same sense as that I am at home. There she is, you see—only you are not to see her on any account,” as a bow necessarily passed between him and Rachel. “Now mind you have not been introduced to Mrs. Keith, and if you utter a breath that will bring the profane crowd in shoals upon the Rectory, I shall never forgive you.”
“True in the same way that I’m at home. There she is, you see— but you’re not to see her for any reason,” he said, exchanging a look with Rachel. “Now remember, you haven’t been introduced to Mrs. Keith, and if you say anything that brings that disrespectful crowd swarming to the Rectory, I will never forgive you.”
“Then I am afraid we must not hope to see you at the bazaar for the idiots.”
“Then I'm afraid we can't expect to see you at the bazaar for the idiots.”
“No, indeed,” Bessie answered, respecting Rachel’s gesture of refusal; “no one is to infringe her incog, under penalty of never coming here again.”
“No, of course not,” Bessie replied, acknowledging Rachel’s gesture of refusal; “no one is allowed to break her privacy, or they’ll never be allowed to come here again.”
“You are going?” he added to Bessie; “indeed, that was what brought me here. My sisters sent me to ask whether they may shelter themselves under your matronly protection, for my mother dreads the crush.”
“You're going?” he said to Bessie; “actually, that’s why I came here. My sisters asked me to see if they could stay under your protection, as my mother is afraid of the crowd.”
“I suppose, as they put my name down, that I must go, but you know I had much rather give the money outright. It is a farce to call a bazaar charity.”
“I guess, as they write my name down, that I have to go, but you know I'd much rather just donate the money directly. It’s ridiculous to call a bazaar charity.”
“Call it what you will, it is one device for a little sensation.”
“Call it what you want, it’s just one tool for a bit of excitement.”
Rachel’s only sensation at that moment was satisfaction at the sudden appearance of Ranger’s white head, the sure harbinger of his master and Alick, and she sprang up to meet them in the shrubbery path—all her morbid shyness at the sight of a fresh face passing away when her hand was within Alick’s arm. When they came forth upon the lawn, Alick’s brow darkened for a moment, and there was a formal exchange of greetings as the guest retreated.
Rachel’s only feeling at that moment was satisfaction at the sudden appearance of Ranger’s white head, which was a sure sign of his master and Alick, and she jumped up to meet them in the shrubbery path—all her awkward shyness at seeing a new face disappearing as soon as her hand was linked with Alick’s arm. When they reached the lawn, Alick’s expression darkened for a moment, and there was a formal exchange of greetings as the guest stepped back.
“I am so sorry,” began Bessie at once; “I had taken precautions against invasion, but he did not go to the front door. I do so hope Rachel has not been fluttered.”
“I’m really sorry,” Bessie started right away; “I had taken steps to prevent someone from coming in, but he didn’t use the front door. I really hope Rachel hasn’t been upset.”
“I thought he was at Rio,” said Alick.
“I thought he was in Rio,” said Alick.
“He could not stand the climate, and was sent home about a month ago—a regular case of bad shilling, I am afraid, poor fellow! I am so sorry he came to startle Rachel, but I swore him over to secrecy. He is not to mention to any living creature that she is nearer than Plinlimmon till the incog, is laid aside! I know how to stand up for bridal privileges, and not to abuse the confidence placed in me.”
“He couldn’t handle the climate and was sent home about a month ago—a classic case of bad luck, I’m afraid, poor guy! I feel bad that he startled Rachel, but I made him promise to keep it a secret. He’s not allowed to tell anyone that she’s closer than Plinlimmon until the undercover plan is over! I know how to stand up for wedding privileges and not to betray the trust placed in me.”
Any one who was up to the game might have perceived that the sister was trying to attribute all the brother’s tone of disapprobation to his anxiety lest his wife should have been startled, while both knew as well as possible that there was a deeper ground of annoyance which was implied in Alick’s answer.
Anyone who was in the know might have noticed that the sister was trying to attribute all of her brother’s disapproving tone to his concern that his wife might have been startled, while both of them were fully aware that there was a deeper reason for annoyance hinted at in Alick’s response.
“He seems extremely tame about the garden.”
“He seems really relaxed about the garden.”
“Or he would not have fallen on Rachel. It was only a chance; he just brought over a message about that tiresome bazaar that has been dinned into our ears for the last three months. A bazaar for idiots they may well call it! They wanted a carving of yours, Uncle George!”
“Or he wouldn’t have ended up with Rachel. It was just a coincidence; he only came over to share a message about that annoying bazaar that’s been shoved in our faces for the past three months. They might as well call it a bazaar for fools! They wanted one of your carvings, Uncle George!”
“I am afraid I gave little Alice Bertie one in a weak moment, Bessie,” said Mr. Clare, “but I hardly durst show my face to Lifford afterwards.”
“I’m afraid I gave little Alice Bertie one in a weak moment, Bessie,” said Mr. Clare, “but I hardly dared to show my face to Lifford afterward.”
“After all, it is better than some bazaars,” said Bessie; “it is only for the idiot asylum, and I could not well refuse my name and countenance to my old neighbours, though I stood out against taking a stall. Lord Keith would not have liked it.”
“After all, it’s better than some markets,” Bessie said; “it’s just for the asylum for fools, and I couldn’t really refuse my name and support to my old neighbors, even though I was against taking a booth. Lord Keith wouldn’t have liked it.”
“Will he be able to go with you?” asked Alick.
“Will he be able to go with you?” Alick asked.
“Oh, no; it would be an intolerable bore, and his Scottish thrift would never stand the sight of people making such very bad bargains! No, I am going to take the Carleton girls in, they are very accommodating, and I can get away whenever I please. I am much too forbearing to ask any of you to go with me, though I believe Uncle George is pining to go and see after his carving.”
“Oh, no; that would be really boring, and his Scottish thrift couldn’t handle watching people make such terrible deals! No, I’m going to take in the Carleton girls, they’re super easygoing, and I can leave whenever I want. I’m way too understanding to ask any of you to come with me, though I think Uncle George is eager to go check on his carving.”
“No, thank you; after what I heard of the last bazaar I made up my mind that they are no places for an old parson, nor for his carvings either, so you are quite welcome to fall on me for my inconsistency.”
“No, thank you; after what I heard about the last bazaar, I decided that those aren’t suitable places for an old pastor, or for his carvings either, so you’re completely welcome to criticize me for my inconsistency.”
“Not now, when you have a holiday from Mr. Lifford,” returned Bessie. “Now come and smell the roses.”
“Not right now, since you have a day off from Mr. Lifford,” Bessie replied. “Come over and smell the roses.”
All the rest of the day Alick relapsed into the lazy frivolous young officer with whom Rachel had first been acquainted.
All day long, Alick fell back into the carefree, slightly irresponsible young officer that Rachel had first met.
As he was driving home in the cool fresh summer night, he began—
As he was driving home on the cool, refreshing summer night, he started—
“I think I must go to this idiotical bazaar!”
“I think I have to go to this ridiculous bazaar!”
“You!” exclaimed Rachel.
"You!" Rachel exclaimed.
“Yes; I don’t think Bessie ought to go by herself with all this Carleton crew.”
“Yeah; I don’t think Bessie should go on her own with all those Carleton people.”
“You don’t wish me to go,” said Rachel, gulping down the effort.
“You don’t want me to go,” Rachel said, swallowing hard.
“You! My dear Rachel, I would not take you for fifty pounds, nor could I go myself without leaving you as vice deputy curate.”
“You! My dear Rachel, I wouldn’t take you for fifty pounds, nor could I go myself without leaving you as the assistant curate.”
“No need for that,” said Mr. Clare, from the seat behind; “young people must not talk secrets with a blind man’s ears behind them.”
“No need for that,” Mr. Clare said from the seat behind. “Young people shouldn’t talk about secrets with a blind man listening in.”
“I make no secret,” said Alick. “I could not go without leaving my wife to take care of my uncle, or my uncle to take care of my wife.”
“I’m not hiding anything,” said Alick. “I couldn’t leave without having my wife take care of my uncle, or my uncle take care of my wife.”
“And you think you ought to go?” said Mr. Clare. “It is certainly better that Bessie should have a gentleman with her in the crowd; but you know this is a gossiping neighbourhood, and you must be prepared for amazement at your coming into public alone not three weeks after your wedding.”
“And you think you should go?” said Mr. Clare. “It’s definitely better for Bessie to have a guy with her in the crowd; but you know this neighborhood loves to gossip, and you need to be ready for people to be shocked at you showing up in public alone less than three weeks after your wedding.”
“I can’t help it, she can’t go, and I must.”
“I can’t help it, she can’t leave, and I have to go.”
“And you will bring down all the morning visitors that you talk of dreading.”
“And you will bring down all the morning visitors that you talk about fearing.”
“We will leave you to amuse them, sir. Much better that,” he added between his teeth, “than to leave the very semblance of a secret trusted by her to that intolerable puppy—”
“We'll let you entertain them, sir. That's much better,” he said through clenched teeth, “than to let that insufferable brat have even the appearance of a secret she trusts.”
Rachel said no more, but when she was gone upstairs Mr. Clare detained his nephew to say, “I beg your pardon, Alick, but you should be quite sure that your wife likes this proposal.”
Rachel said nothing else, but after she went upstairs, Mr. Clare stopped his nephew to say, “I’m sorry, Alick, but you really need to make sure that your wife is onboard with this idea.”
“That’s the value of a strong-minded wife, sir,” returned Alick; “she is not given to making a fuss about small matters.”
“That's the benefit of having a strong-willed wife, sir,” Alick replied; “she doesn't get worked up over minor issues.”
“Most ladies might not think this a small matter.”
“Most women might not consider this a minor issue.”
“That is because they have no perspective in their brains. Rachel understands me a great deal too well to make me explain what is better unspoken.”
“That’s because they lack perspective. Rachel gets me well enough that I don’t have to explain what’s better left unsaid.”
“You know what I think, Alick, that you are the strictest judge that ever a merry girl had.”
“You know what I think, Alick? You’re the strictest judge a fun girl ever had.”
“I had rather you continued to think so, uncle; I should like to think so myself. Good night.”
"I'd prefer if you kept thinking that way, uncle; I would like to think that too. Good night."
Alick was right, but whether or not Rachel entered into his motives, she made no objection to his going to the bazaar with his sister, being absolutely certain that he would not have done so if he could have helped it.
Alick was right, but whether Rachel understood his reasons or not, she had no problem with him going to the bazaar with his sister, knowing for sure that he wouldn’t have done it if he had any other choice.
Nor was her day at all dreary; Mr. Clare was most kind and attentive to her, without being oppressive, and she knew she was useful to him. She was indeed so full of admiration and reverence for him, that once or twice it crossed her whether she were not belying another of her principles by lapsing into Curatocult, but the idea passed away with scorn at the notion of comparing Mr. Clare with the objects of such devotion. He belonged to that generation which gave its choicest in intellectual, as well as in religious gifts to the ministry, when a fresh tide of enthusiasm was impelling men forward to build up, instead of breaking down, before disappointment and suspicion had thinned the ranks, and hurled back many a recruit, or doctrinal carpings had taught men to dread a search into their own tenets. He was a highly cultivated, large-minded man, and the conversation between him and his nephew was a constant novelty to her, who had always yearned after depth and thought, and seldom met with them. Still here she was constantly feeling how shallow were her acquirements, how inaccurate her knowledge, how devoid of force and solidity her reasonings compared with what here seemed to be old, well-beaten ground. Nay, the very sparkle of fun and merriment surprised and puzzled her; and all the courtesy of the one gentleman, and the affection of the other, could not prevent her sometimes feeling herself the dullest and most ignorant person present. And yet the sense was never mortifying except when here and there a spark of the old conceit had lighted itself, and lured her into pretensions where she thought herself proficient. She was becoming more and more helpful to Mr. Clare, and his gratitude for her services made them most agreeable, nor did that atmosphere of peace and sincerity that reigned round the Rectory lose its charm. She was really happy all through the solitary Wednesday, and much more contented with the results than was Alick. “A sickening place,” he said, “I am glad I went.”
Nor was her day at all gloomy; Mr. Clare was very kind and attentive to her without being overwhelming, and she knew she was helpful to him. She was so full of admiration and respect for him that a few times she wondered if she was betraying one of her principles by slipping into hero worship, but she quickly dismissed the idea, scornful at the thought of comparing Mr. Clare to the objects of such devotion. He was part of that generation that offered its best intellectual and religious talents to the ministry when a new wave of enthusiasm was pushing people to build up instead of tearing down, before disappointment and suspicion had diminished the ranks, and turned many recruits away, or doctrinal disputes had made people fear examining their own beliefs. He was a highly educated, broad-minded man, and the conversations between him and his nephew were a constant source of interest for her, who had always longed for depth and thought but rarely encountered them. Still, she often felt how shallow her knowledge was, how inaccurate her information, and how lacking in strength and substance her arguments seemed compared to what appeared to be well-trodden ground. The very sparkle of humor and fun surprised and puzzled her; and all the politeness of one gentleman and the affection of the other couldn’t prevent her from sometimes feeling like the dullest and most ignorant person in the room. Yet the feeling was never humiliating except when a flicker of her old arrogance sparked within her and led her to make claims where she thought she was skilled. She was becoming more and more helpful to Mr. Clare, and his gratitude for her assistance made it very enjoyable, nor did the atmosphere of peace and sincerity that surrounded the Rectory lose its charm. She felt genuinely happy throughout the lonely Wednesday and much more satisfied with the outcomes than Alick was. “A dreadful place,” he said, “I'm glad I went.”
“How glad Bessie must have been to have you!”
“How happy Bessie must have been to have you!”
“I believe she was. She has too much good taste for much of what went on there.”
“I think she was. She has way too much good taste for a lot of what happened there.”
“I doubt,” said Mr. Clare, laughing, “if you could have been an agreeable acquisition.”
“I doubt,” said Mr. Clare, laughing, “if you would have been a welcome addition.”
“I don’t know. Bessie fools one into thinking oneself always doing her a favour. Oh, Rachel, I am thankful you have never taken to being agreeable.”
“I don’t know. Bessie tricks you into feeling like you’re always doing her a favor. Oh, Rachel, I’m glad you’ve never tried to be nice.”
CHAPTER XXV. THE HUNTSFORD CROQUET.
“Une femme egoiste, non seulement de coeur, mais d’esprit, ne pent pas sortir d’elle-meme. Le moi est indelible chez elle. Une veritable egoiste ne sait meme pas etre fausse.” —MME. E. DE GIRARDIN.
“A selfish woman, not just at heart, but in mind, cannot look beyond herself. The self is inescapable for her. A true egoist doesn’t even know how to be insincere.” —MME. E. DE GIRARDIN.
“I am come to prepare you,” said Lady Keith, putting her arm into her brother’s, and leading him into the peacock path. “Mrs. Huntsford is on her way to call and make a dead set to get you all to a garden party.”
“I've come to get you ready,” said Lady Keith, linking her arm with her brother's and guiding him down the peacock path. “Mrs. Huntsford is on her way to visit and is determined to persuade you all to attend a garden party.”
“Then we are off to the Earlsworthy Woods.”
“Then we're off to the Earlsworthy Woods.”
“Nay, listen, Alick. I have let you alone and defended you for a whole month, but if you persist in shutting up you wife, people won’t stand it.”
“Nah, listen, Alick. I’ve left you alone and defended you for a whole month, but if you keep shutting your wife out, people won’t put up with it.”
“Which of us is the Mahometan?”
“Which one of us is the Muslim?”
“You are pitied! But you see it was a strong thing our appearing without our several incumbrances, and though an old married woman like me may do as she pleases, yet for a bridegroom of not three weeks’ standing to resort to bazaars solus argues some weighty cause.”
“You're being pitied! But you understand, it was quite bold of us to show up without our usual baggage, and even though an old married woman like me can do whatever she wants, for a groom who's been married for less than three weeks to go off to the markets alone suggests there's a significant reason behind it.”
“And argues rightly.”
"And makes a good point."
“Then you are content to be supposed to have an unproduceably eccentric melancholy bride?”
“Then you’re okay with people thinking you have an unexplainably quirky sad bride?”
“Better they should think so than that she should be so. She has been victimized enough already to her mother’s desire to save appearances.”
“It's better for them to think that way than for her to actually be that way. She has already been hurt enough by her mother’s need to maintain appearances.”
“You do not half believe me, Alick, and this is really a very kind, thoughtful arrangement of Mrs. Huntsford’s. She consulted me, saying there were such odd stories about you two that she was most anxious that Rachel should appear and confute them; and she thought that an out-of-door party like this would suit best, because it would be early, and Rachel could get away if she found it too much for her.”
“You don’t really believe me, Alick, and this is truly a kind and considerate plan from Mrs. Huntsford. She talked to me and mentioned that there were strange rumors about you two, and she really wanted Rachel to come out and clear them up. She thought an outdoor gathering like this would be ideal because it would be early, and Rachel could leave if it became too overwhelming for her.”
“After being walked out to satisfy a curious neighbourhood.”
“After being taken out to satisfy a curious neighborhood.”
“Now Alick, do consider it. This sort of thing could remind her of nothing painful; Uncle George would enjoy it.”
“Now Alick, think about it. This kind of thing wouldn’t remind her of anything painful; Uncle George would love it.”
“And fall over the croquet traps.”
“And fall over the croquet traps.”
“No; if you wanted to attend to him, I could take care of Rachel.”
“No; if you want to take care of him, I can handle Rachel.”
“I cannot tell, Bessie, I believe it is pure goodnature on Mrs. Huntsford’s part, but if we go, it must be from Rachel’s spontaneous movement. I will not press her on any account. I had rather the world said she was crazy at once than expose her to the risk of one of the dreadful nights that haunted us till we came here to perfect quiet.”
“I can’t say, Bessie. I think Mrs. Huntsford is just being genuinely kind, but if we go, it has to be because Rachel really wants to. I won’t push her at all. I’d rather the world thought she was insane right away than put her at risk of experiencing one of those awful nights that troubled us until we got here to this peaceful place.”
“But she is well now. She looks better and nicer than I ever saw her. Really, Alick, now her face is softer, and her eyes more veiled, and her chin not cocked up, I am quite proud of her. Every one will be struck with her good looks.”
“But she is doing well now. She looks better and nicer than I’ve ever seen her. Honestly, Alick, her face is softer, her eyes are more gentle, and her chin isn’t held up high anymore. I’m really proud of her. Everyone will notice how good she looks.”
“Flattery, Bessie,” he said, not ill pleased. “Yes, she is much better, and more like herself; but I dread all this being overthrown. If she herself wishes to go, it may be a good beginning, but she must not be persuaded.”
“Flattery, Bessie,” he said, sounding somewhat pleased. “Yes, she is much better and more like her usual self; but I worry that all this could be undone. If she wants to leave on her own, it could be a good start, but she shouldn’t be pressured into it.”
“Then I must not even tell her that she won’t be required to croquet, and that I’ll guard her from all civil speeches.”
“Then I shouldn’t even mention to her that she won’t have to play croquet, and that I’ll protect her from any polite conversation.”
“No, for indeed, Bessie, on your own account and Lord Keith’s, you should hardly spend a long afternoon from home.”
“No, really, Bessie, for your sake and Lord Keith's, you shouldn't spend a long afternoon away from home.”
“Here’s the war in the enemy’s quarters! As to fatigue, dawdling about Mrs. Huntsford’s garden, is much the same as dawdling about my own, and makes me far more entertaining.”
“Here’s the battle in the enemy’s territory! As for being tired, wandering around Mrs. Huntsford’s garden is just like wandering around my own, and it makes me way more fun.”
“I cannot help thinking, Bessie, that Lord Keith is more ill than you suppose. I am sure he is in constant pain.”
“I can’t shake the feeling, Bessie, that Lord Keith is more unwell than you think. I’m certain he’s in constant pain.”
“So I fear,” said Bessie, gravely; “but what can be done? He will see no one but his old surgeon in Edinburgh.”
“So I’m worried,” said Bessie seriously; “but what can we do? He won’t see anyone except his old surgeon in Edinburgh.”
“Then take him there.”
"Then take him there."
“Take him? You must know what it is to be in the hands of a clever woman before you make such a proposal.”
“Take him? You need to understand what it’s like to be at the mercy of a smart woman before you make such a suggestion.”
“You are a cleverer woman than my wife in bringing about what you really wish.”
“You're a smarter woman than my wife at getting what you really want.”
“Just consider, Alick, our own house is uninhabitable, and this one on our hands—my aunt coming to me in a month’s time. You don’t ask me to do what is reasonable.”
“Just think about it, Alick, our own home is unlivable, and this one we have—my aunt is coming to visit in a month. You’re not asking me to do what's fair.”
“I cannot tell, Bessie. You can be the only judge of what is regard of the right kind for your husband’s health or for yourself; and see, there is Mrs. Huntsford actually arrived, and talking to my uncle.”
“I can’t say, Bessie. You’re the only one who can determine what’s best for your husband’s health or for yourself; and look, Mrs. Huntsford has actually arrived and is talking to my uncle.”
“One moment, Alick: I am not going to insult myself so far as to suppose that poor Charlie Carleton’s being at home has anything to do with your desire to deport me, but I want you to know that he did not come home till after we were settled here.”
“One moment, Alick: I’m not going to insult myself by thinking that poor Charlie Carleton being at home has anything to do with your wish to get rid of me, but I want you to know that he didn’t come home until after we were settled here.”
“I do not wish to enter into details, Bessie,” and he crossed the lawn towards the window where Mr. Clare and Rachel had just received Mrs. Huntsford, a goodnatured joyous-looking lady, a favourite with every one. Her invitation was dexterously given to meet a few friends at luncheon, and in the garden, where the guests would be free to come and go; there might perhaps be a little dancing later, she had secured some good music which would, she knew, attract Mr. Clare, and she hoped he would bring Captain and Mrs. Keith. She knew Mrs. Keith had not been well, but she promised her a quiet room to rest in, and she wanted to show her a view of the Devon coast done by a notable artist in water-colours. Rachel readily accepted—in fact, this quiet month had been so full of restoration that she had almost forgotten her morbid shrinking from visitors; and Bessie infused into her praise and congratulations a hint that a refusal would have been much against Alick’s reputation, so that she resolved to keep up to the mark, even though he took care that she should know that she might yet retract.
“I don’t want to go into details, Bessie,” he said as he walked across the lawn toward the window where Mr. Clare and Rachel had just welcomed Mrs. Huntsford, a cheerful and friendly lady who was well-liked by everyone. She skillfully extended her invitation to gather a few friends for lunch in the garden, where guests would have the freedom to come and go. There might even be some dancing later; she had arranged for good music that she was sure would appeal to Mr. Clare, and she hoped he would bring Captain and Mrs. Keith along. She was aware that Mrs. Keith hadn’t been feeling well, but she promised her a quiet room to rest in and wanted to show her a painting of the Devon coast done by a famous watercolor artist. Rachel gladly accepted—this quiet month had been so refreshing that she had nearly forgotten her anxious reluctance to have visitors; and Bessie’s praise and congratulations carried a hint that refusing the invitation would not reflect well on Alick’s reputation, leading her to decide to participate, even though he made sure she knew she could still change her mind.
“You did not wish me to refuse, Alick,” said she, struck by his grave countenance, when she found him lying on the slope of the lawn shortly after, in deep thought.
“You didn’t want me to say no, Alick,” she said, noticing his serious expression as she found him lying on the grass a little later, lost in thought.
“No, not at all,” he replied; “it is likely to be a pleasant affair, and my uncle will be delighted to have us with him. No,” he added, seeing that she still looked at him inquisitively, “it is the old story. My sister! Poor little thing! I always feel as though I wore more unkind and unjust to her than any one else, and yet we are never together without my feeling as if she was deceiving herself and me; and yet it is all so fair and well reasoned that one is always left in the wrong. I regretted this marriage extremely at first, and I am not the less disposed to regret it now.”
“No, not at all,” he replied. “It’s likely to be a nice event, and my uncle will be thrilled to have us with him. No,” he added, noticing that she still looked at him curiously, “it’s the same old story. My sister! Poor thing! I always feel like I’ve been harsher and more unfair to her than anyone else, but every time we’re together, I can’t shake the feeling that she’s fooling herself and me. Yet it all seems so reasonable that I end up feeling like I’m in the wrong. I really regretted this marriage at first, and I still feel that way now.”
“Indeed! Every one says how attentive she is to him, and how nicely they go on together.”
“Definitely! Everyone says how caring she is towards him, and how well they get along.”
“Pshaw, Rachel! that is just the way. A few words and pretty ways pass with her and all the world for attention, when she is wherever her fancy calls her, all for his good. It is just the attention she showed my uncle. And now it is her will and pleasure to queen it here among her old friends, and she will not open her eyes to see the poor old man’s precarious state.”
“Come on, Rachel! That's just how she is. A few words and some charm get her all the attention from everyone, even when she’s off doing whatever she likes, all for his sake. It's just like the attention she gave my uncle. Now she’s decided she wants to rule here with her old friends, and she won't even acknowledge the poor old man's unstable condition.”
“Do you think him so very ill, Alick?”
“Do you really think he's that sick, Alick?”
“I was shocked when I saw him yesterday. As to sciatica, that is all nonsense; the blow in his side has done some serious damage, and if it is not well looked-to, who knows what will be the end of it! And then, a gay young widow with no control over her—I hate to think of it.”
“I was surprised when I saw him yesterday. This talk about sciatica is just nonsense; the blow to his side has caused some serious damage, and if it’s not properly treated, who knows what will happen! And then, a young widow who can’t keep herself in check—I don’t even want to think about it.”
“Indeed,” said Rachel, “she is so warm and bright, and really earnest in her kindness, that she will be sure to see her own way right at home. I don’t think we can guess how obstinate Lord Keith may be in refusing to take advice.”
“Definitely,” said Rachel, “she is so warm and bright, and genuinely sincere in her kindness, that she will surely find her own way right at home. I don’t think we can predict how stubborn Lord Keith might be in ignoring advice.”
“He cut me off pretty short,” said Alick. “I am afraid he will see no one here; and, as Bessie says, the move to Scotland would not be easy just now. As I said, she leaves one in the wrong, and I don’t like the future. But it is of no use to talk of it; so let us come and see if my uncle wants to go anywhere.”
“He cut me off pretty quickly,” Alick said. “I’m afraid he won’t see anyone here; and, as Bessie says, moving to Scotland wouldn’t be easy right now. Like I mentioned, she leaves you feeling guilty, and I don’t like the look of the future. But there’s no point in talking about it; let’s go check if my uncle wants to go anywhere.”
It was Alick’s fate never to meet with sympathy in his feeling of his sister’s double-mindedness. Whether it were that he was mistaken, or that she really had the gift of sincerity for the moment in whatever she was saying, the most candid and transparent people in the world—his uncle and his wife—never even succeeded in understanding his dissatisfaction with Bessie’s doings, but always received them at her own valuation. Even while he had been looking forward, with hope deferred, to her residence with him as the greatest solace the world could yet afford him, Mr. Clare had always been convinced that her constant absence from his Rectory, except when his grand neighbours were at home, had been unavoidable, and had always credited the outward tokens of zealous devotion to his church and parish, and to all that was useful or good elsewhere. In effect there was a charm about her which no one but her brother ever resisted, and even he held out by an exertion that made him often appear ungracious.
It was Alick’s fate never to find sympathy regarding his feelings about his sister’s indecisiveness. Whether he was mistaken or she genuinely had a temporary gift for sincerity in whatever she was saying, the most honest and straightforward people in the world—his uncle and his wife—never managed to grasp his dissatisfaction with Bessie’s actions, always accepting them based on her own assessment. Even while he had been eagerly anticipating her staying with him as the greatest comfort life could offer, Mr. Clare had always believed that her frequent absences from his Rectory, except when their wealthy neighbors were around, were unavoidable. He always attributed the outward signs of her strong devotion to his church and parish, as well as to all that was useful or good elsewhere. There was a certain charm about her that no one but her brother could resist, and even he resisted it through a struggle that often made him seem ungracious.
However, for the present the uneasiness was set aside, in the daily avocations of the Rectory, where Alick was always a very different person from what he appeared in Lady Temple’s drawing-room, constantly engaged as he was by unobtrusive watchfulness over his uncle, and active and alert in this service in a manner that was a curious contrast to his ordinary sauntering ways. As to Rachel, the whole state of existence was still a happy dream. She floated on from day to day in the tranquil activity of the Rectory, without daring to look back on the past or to think out her present frame of mind; it was only the languor and rest of recovery after suffering, and her husband was heedfully watching her, fearing the experiment of the croquet party, though on many accounts feeling the necessity of its being made.
However, for now, the discomfort was put aside in the daily tasks at the Rectory, where Alick was always a very different person than he appeared in Lady Temple’s drawing-room. He was constantly engaged in quietly watching over his uncle, being active and alert in a way that was a curious contrast to his usual laid-back demeanor. As for Rachel, her whole existence was still a happy dream. She drifted from day to day in the peaceful activity of the Rectory, not daring to reflect on the past or analyze her current feelings; it was just the weariness and rest of recovery after hardship, and her husband was carefully keeping an eye on her, worried about the potential stress of the croquet party, even though he felt it was important for it to happen.
Ermine’s hint, that with Rachel it rested to prevent her unpopularity from injuring her husband, had not been thrown away, and she never manifested any shrinking from the party, and even took some interest in arraying herself for it.
Ermine’s suggestion that it was up to Rachel to keep her unpopularity from affecting her husband wasn't ignored, and she never showed any hesitation about the party; she even took some interest in getting ready for it.
“That is what I call well turned out,” exclaimed Alick, when she came down.
"That's what I call well put together," Alick exclaimed when she came down.
“Describe her dress, if you please,” said Mr. Clare, “I like to hear how my nieces look.”
“Please describe her dress,” Mr. Clare said, “I enjoy hearing how my nieces look.”
Alick guided his hand. “There, stroke it down, a long white feather in a shady hat trimmed with dark green, velvet; she is fresh and rosy, you know, sir, and looks well in green, and then, is it Grace’s taste, Rachel? for it is the prettiest thing you have worn—a pale buff sort of silky thing, embroidered all over in the same colour,” and he put a fold of the dress into his uncle’s hand.
Alick guided his hand. “There, just brush it down, a long white feather in a shady hat with dark green velvet trimming; she looks fresh and rosy, you know, sir, and pulls off green really well. What do you think, Rachel? Is it Grace’s style? It’s the nicest thing you’ve worn—a pale buff, silky dress, completely embroidered in the same color,” and he placed a fold of the dress into his uncle’s hand.
“Indian, surely,” said Mr. Clare, feeling the pattern, “it is too intricate and graceful for the West.”
“Indian, for sure,” said Mr. Clare, examining the design. “It’s way too intricate and elegant for the West.”
“Yes,” said Alick, “I remember now, Grace showed it to me. It was one that Lady Temple brought from India, and never had made up. Poor Grace could get no sympathy from Rachel about the wedding clothes, so she was obliged to come to me.”
"Yeah," Alick said, "I remember now, Grace showed it to me. It was one that Lady Temple brought back from India, and it was never put together. Poor Grace couldn’t get any support from Rachel about the wedding clothes, so she had to come to me."
“And I thought you did not know one of my things from another,” said Rachel. “Do you really mean that you care?”
“And I thought you didn’t know one of my things from another,” said Rachel. “Do you actually mean that you care?”
“Depend upon it, he does, my dear,” said Mr. Clare. “I have heard him severely critical on his cousins.”
“Trust me, he really does, my dear,” said Mr. Clare. “I’ve heard him be really critical of his cousins.”
“He has been very good in not tormenting me,” said Rachel, nestling nearer to him.
"He has been really good about not bothering me," Rachel said, snuggling closer to him.
“I apprehended the consequences,” said Alick, “and besides, you never mounted that black lace pall, or curtain, or whatever you call it, upon your head, after your first attempt at frightening me away with it.”
“I understood the consequences,” said Alick, “and besides, you never put that black lace pall, or curtain, or whatever you call it, on your head after you first tried to scare me away with it.”
“A cap set against, instead of at,” said Mr. Clare, laughing; and therewith his old horse was heard clattering in the yard, and Alick proceeded to drive the well-used phaeton about three miles through Earlsworthy Park, to a pleasant-looking demesne in the village beyond. As they were turning in at the gate, up came Lady Keith with her two brisk little Shetlands. She was one mass of pretty, fresh, fluttering blue and white muslin, ribbon, and lace, and looked particularly well and brilliant.
“A cap set against, instead of on,” Mr. Clare said with a laugh; and just then his old horse was heard clattering in the yard. Alick then drove the well-used phaeton about three miles through Earlsworthy Park to a charming estate in the village beyond. As they were turning in at the gate, Lady Keith arrived with her two lively little Shetlands. She was a sight in a beautiful, fresh outfit of fluttering blue and white muslin, ribbon, and lace, looking especially vibrant and radiant.
“Well met,” she said, “I called at the Rectory to take up Rachel, but you were flown before me.”
“Well met,” she said. “I stopped by the Rectory to pick up Rachel, but you had already left before I got there.”
“Yes, we went through the Park.”
“Yes, we went through the park.”
“I wish the Duke would come home. I can’t go that way now till I have called. I have no end of things to say to you,” she added, and her little lively ponies shot ahead of the old rectorial steed. However, she waited at the entrance. “Who do you think is come? Colin Keith made his appearance this morning. He has safely captured his Ouralian bear, though not without plenty of trouble, and he could not get him on to Avonmouth till he had been to some chemical institution about an invention. Colin thought him safe there, and rushed down by the train to see us. They go on to-morrow.”
“I wish the Duke would come home. I can't go that way now until I've called. I have so much to say to you,” she added, as her little lively ponies raced ahead of the old rector's horse. However, she waited at the entrance. “Guess who's come? Colin Keith showed up this morning. He's successfully captured his Ouralian bear, but not without a lot of hassle, and he couldn’t get him to Avonmouth until he stopped by a chemical institute about an invention. Colin thought it was safe there, and he hurried down by train to see us. They’re leaving tomorrow.”
“What did he think of Lord Keith?” said Alick, in the more haste because he feared something being said to remind Rachel that this was the assize week at Avoncester.
“What did he think of Lord Keith?” Alick asked, feeling more urgency because he was worried that someone might mention to Rachel that it was court week in Avoncester.
“He has settled the matter about advice,” said Bessie, seriously; “you cannot think what a relief it is. I mean, as soon as I get home, to write and ask Mr. Harvey to come and talk to me to-morrow, and see if the journey to Edinburgh is practicable. I almost thought of sending an apology, and driving over to consult him this afternoon, but I did not like to disappoint Mrs. Huntsford, and I thought Rachel would feel herself lost.”
“He’s figured out the advice situation,” Bessie said seriously; “you can’t imagine what a relief that is. I mean, as soon as I get home, I’ll write and ask Mr. Harvey to come and talk to me tomorrow and see if the trip to Edinburgh is possible. I almost considered sending an apology and driving over to consult him this afternoon, but I didn’t want to let Mrs. Huntsford down, and I thought Rachel would feel abandoned.”
“Thank you,” said Rachel, “but could we not go away early, and go round by Mr. Harvey’s?”
“Thanks,” said Rachel, “but can we leave early and take the route past Mr. Harvey’s?”
“Unluckily I have sent the ponies home, and told the close carriage to come for me at nine. It was all settled, and I don’t want to alarm Lord Keith by coming home too soon.”
“Unfortunately, I’ve sent the ponies back and asked the private carriage to pick me up at nine. It was all arranged, and I don’t want to worry Lord Keith by coming home too early.”
Alick, who had hitherto listened with interest, here gave his arm to Rachel, as if recollecting that it was time to make their entree. Bessie took her uncle’s, and they were soon warmly welcomed by their kind hostess, who placed them so favourably at luncheon that Rachel was too much entertained to feel any recurrence of the old associations with “company.” Afterwards, Bessie took her into the cool drawing-room, where were a few ladies, who preferred the sofa to croquet or archery, and Lady Keith accomplished a fraternization between Rachel and a plainly dressed lady, who knew all about the social science heroines of whom Rachel had longed to hear. After a time, however, a little girl darted in to call “Aunt Mary” to the aid of some playfellow, who had met with a mishap, and Rachel then perceived herself to have been deserted by her sister-in-law. She knew none of the other ladies, and they made no approaches to her; an access of self-consciousness came on, and feeling forlorn and uncomfortable, she wandered out to look for a friend.
Alick, who had been listening with interest, offered his arm to Rachel, as if remembering that it was time for them to make their entrance. Bessie took her uncle’s arm, and they were soon warmly welcomed by their kind hostess, who seated them so well at lunch that Rachel was too entertained to feel any of the old associations with “company.” Afterward, Bessie led her into the cool drawing-room, where a few ladies preferred the sofa over croquet or archery, and Lady Keith facilitated a connection between Rachel and a plainly dressed woman who knew all about the social science heroines Rachel had been eager to hear about. However, after a while, a little girl rushed in to call for “Aunt Mary” to help a playmate who had gotten hurt, and Rachel then realized her sister-in-law had left her. She didn’t know any of the other ladies, and they didn’t approach her; a wave of self-consciousness washed over her, and feeling lonely and uncomfortable, she wandered out in search of a friend.
It was not long before she saw Alick walking along the terrace above the croquet players, evidently in quest of her. “How is it with you?” he anxiously asked; “you know you can go home in a moment if you have had enough of this.”
It wasn't long before she spotted Alick strolling along the terrace above the croquet players, clearly looking for her. “How are you doing?” he asked, concerned; “you know you can leave anytime if you’ve had enough of this.”
“No, I want nothing, now I have found you. Where is your uncle?”
“No, I don't want anything now that I've found you. Where's your uncle?”
“Fallen upon one of his oldest friends, who will take care of him, and well out of the way of the croquet traps. Where’s my Lady? I thought you were with her.”
“Fallen in with one of his oldest friends, who will look after him, and far away from the croquet traps. Where’s my Lady? I thought you were with her.”
“She disappeared while I was talking to that good Miss Penwell! You must be pleased now, Alick, you see she is really going to see about going to Scotland.”
“She vanished while I was chatting with that nice Miss Penwell! You must be happy now, Alick; you see she’s really planning to look into going to Scotland.”
“I should be better pleased if she had not left that poor old man alone till nine o’clock.”
"I'd feel much better if she hadn't left that poor old man alone until nine o'clock."
“She says that when he has his man Saunders to read to him—”
“She says that when he has his guy Saunders to read to him—”
“Don’t tell me what she says; I have enough of that at first hand.”
“Don’t tell me what she says; I hear enough of that directly.”
He broke off with a start. The terrace was prolonged into a walk beyond the screen of evergreens that shut in the main lawn, and, becoming a shrubbery path, led to a smooth glade, on whose turf preparations had been made for a second field of croquet, in case there should have been too many players for the principal arena. This, however, had not been wanted, and no one was visible except a lady and gentleman on a seat under a tree about half-way down on the opposite side of the glade. The lady was in blue and white; the gentleman would hardly have been recognised by Rachel but for the start and thrill of her husband’s arm, and the flush of colour on his usually pale cheek, but, ere he could speak or move, the lady sprang up, and came hastening towards them diagonally across the grass. Rachel saw the danger, and made a warning outcry, “Bessie, the hoop!” but it was too late, she had tripped over it, and fell prone, and entirely unable to save herself. She was much nearer to them than to her late companion, and was struggling to disengage herself when Alick reached her, lifted her up, and placed her on her feet, supporting her as she clung fast to him, while he asked if she were hurt.
He suddenly stopped. The terrace extended into a walkway beyond the screen of evergreens that enclosed the main lawn, and, becoming a shrub path, led to a smooth clearing, where preparations had been made for a second croquet field, in case there were too many players for the main area. This, however, hadn’t been needed, and no one was in sight except a man and woman sitting under a tree about halfway down on the opposite side of the clearing. The woman wore blue and white; the man would hardly have been recognized by Rachel if not for the start and tension in her husband’s arm and the color rising on his usually pale cheek, but before he could speak or move, the woman jumped up and hurried towards them diagonally across the grass. Rachel noticed the danger and shouted a warning, “Bessie, the hoop!” but it was too late; she had stumbled over it and fell flat, completely unable to catch herself. She was much closer to them than her previous companion, struggling to get free when Alick reached her, picked her up, and set her on her feet, supporting her as she clung tightly to him while he asked if she was hurt.
“No, no,” she cried. “Don’t let him come; don’t let him call any one, don’t,” she reiterated, as Mr. Carleton hovered near, evidently much terrified, but not venturing to approach.
“No, no,” she said. “Don’t let him come; don’t let him call anyone, don’t,” she repeated, as Mr. Carleton stood nearby, clearly very scared but not daring to get closer.
Alick helped her to another garden chair that stood near. She had been entangled in her dress, which had been much torn by her attempt to rise, and hung in a festoon, impeding her, and she moved with difficulty, breathing heavily when she was first seated.
Alick helped her to another garden chair nearby. She had gotten tangled in her dress, which had been badly torn from her attempt to stand up, and it hung in a bunch, getting in her way. She moved with difficulty and was breathing heavily when she finally sat down.
“I don’t know if I have not twisted myself a little,” she said, in answer to their anxious questions, “but it will go off. Rachel, how scared you look!”
“I don’t know if I’ve twisted myself a little,” she replied to their worried questions, “but it will be fine. Rachel, you look so scared!”
“Don’t laugh,” exclaimed Rachel, in dread of hysterics, and she plunged her hand into Alick’s pocket for a scent-bottle, which he had put there by way of precaution for her, and, while applying it, said, in her full, sedate voice, keeping it as steady as she could, “Shall I drive you home? Alick can walk home with his uncle when he is ready.”
“Don’t laugh,” Rachel said, trying to hold back her emotions, as she reached into Alick’s pocket for a scent bottle he had put there for her. While using it, she spoke in her calm, steady voice, “Should I give you a ride home? Alick can walk back with his uncle when he’s ready.”
“Home! Thank you, Rachel, pray do. Not that I am hurt,” she added in her natural voice, “only these rags would tell tales, and there would be an intolerable fuss.”
“Home! Thank you, Rachel, please do. Not that I’m hurt,” she added in her natural tone, “only these rags would tell stories, and there would be an unbearable commotion.”
“Then I will bring the carriage round to the road there,” said Alick. “I told Joe to be in readiness, and you need not go back to the house.”
“Then I'll bring the carriage over to the road there,” Alick said. “I told Joe to be ready, and you don’t need to go back to the house.”
“Thank you. But, oh, send him away!” she added, with a gasping shudder. “Only don’t let him tell any one. Tell him I desire he will not.”
“Thank you. But, oh, please send him away!” she added, with a shuddering gasp. “Just make sure he doesn’t tell anyone. Tell him I don’t want him to.”
After a few words with Mr. Carleton, Alick strode off to the stables, and Rachel asked anxiously after the twist.
After chatting briefly with Mr. Carleton, Alick walked off to the stables, and Rachel asked nervously about the twist.
“I don’t feel it; I don’t believe in it. My dear, your strong mind is all humbug, or you would not look so frightened,” and again she was on the verge of hysterical laughing; “it is only that I can’t stand a chorus of old ladies in commotion. How happy Alick must be to have his prediction verified by some one tumbling over a hoop!” Just then, however, seeing Mr. Carleton still lingering near, she caught hold of Rachel with a little cry, “Don’t let him come, dear Rachel; go to him, tell him I am well, but keep him away, and mind he tells no one!”
“I don’t feel it; I don’t believe in it. My dear, your strong mind is all nonsense, or you wouldn’t look so scared,” and again she was about to burst into hysterical laughter; “it’s just that I can’t handle a bunch of old ladies in a panic. How happy Alick must be to see his prediction come true with someone tripping over a hoop!” Just then, however, noticing Mr. Carleton still hanging around, she grabbed Rachel with a little cry, “Don’t let him come, dear Rachel; go to him, tell him I’m fine, but keep him away, and make sure he tells no one!”
Rachel’s cold, repellent manner was in full force, and she went towards the poor little man, whose girlish face was blanched with fright.
Rachel's icy, unwelcoming attitude was in full effect, and she approached the poor little man, whose delicate face was pale with fear.
She told him that Lady Keith did not seem to be hurt, and only wished to be alone, and to go home without attracting notice. He stammered out something about quite understanding, and retreated, while Rachel returned to find Bessie sitting upright, anxiously watching, and she was at once drawn down to sit beside her on the bench, to listen to the excited whisper. “The miserable simpleton! Rachel, Alick was right. I thought, I little thought he would forget how things stand now, but he got back to the old strain, as if—I shall make Lord Keith go to Scotland any way now. I was so thankful to see you and Alick.” She proceeded with the agitated vehemence of one who, under a great shock, was saying more than she would have betrayed in a cooler and more guarded mood, “What could possess him? For years he had followed me about like a little dog, and never said more than I let him; and now what folly was in his head, just because I could not walk as far as the ruin with the others. When I said I was going to Scotland, what business had he to—Oh! the others will be coming back, Rachel, could we not go to meet the carriage?”
She told him that Lady Keith didn’t seem hurt and just wanted to be alone and head home without drawing attention. He mumbled something about understanding and backed away, while Rachel went back to find Bessie sitting up, looking worried. She felt compelled to sit next to her on the bench and listen to the excited whispers. “That miserable fool! Rachel, Alick was right. I thought—how could he forget how things are now? He fell back into his old habits, as if—I will definitely make Lord Keith go to Scotland now. I was so relieved to see you and Alick.” She continued with the anxious intensity of someone who, after a great shock, revealed more than she would have in a calmer, more cautious state. “What could he be thinking? For years, he followed me around like a little dog and never said more than I allowed; and now, what craziness is in his head, just because I couldn’t walk as far as the ruin with the others? When I said I was going to Scotland, what right did he have to—Oh! The others will be coming back, Rachel. Couldn’t we go meet the carriage?”
The attempt to move, however, brought back the feeling of the strain of which she had complained, but she would not give way, and by the help of Rachel’s arm, proceeded across the grass to the carriage-drive, where Alick was to meet them. It seemed very far and very hot, and her alternately excited and shame-stricken manner, and sobbing breath, much alarmed Rachel; but when Alick met them, all this seemed to pass away—she controlled herself entirely, declaring herself unhurt, and giving him cheerful messages and excuses for her hostess. Alick put the reins into Rachel’s hands, and, after watching her drive off, returned to the party, and delivered the apologies of the ladies; then went in search of his uncle. He did not, however, find him quickly, and then he was so happy with his old friend among a cluster of merry young people, that Alick would not say a word to hasten him home, especially as Rachel would have driven Bessie to Timber End, so that it would only be returning to an empty house. And such was Mr. Clare’s sociableness and disability of detaching himself from pleasant conversation, that the uncle and nephew scarcely started for their walk across the park in time for the seven o’clock service. Mr. Clare had never been so completely belated, and, as Alick’s assistance was necessary, he could only augur from his wife’s absence that she was still at Timber End with his sister.
The effort to move, however, brought back the feeling of strain that she had mentioned, but she refused to give in. With Rachel’s help, she made her way across the grass to the carriage driveway, where Alick was supposed to meet them. It felt like a long way and really hot, and her mixed feelings of excitement and shame, along with her sobbing breaths, worried Rachel. But when Alick arrived, all of that seemed to fade away—she completely composed herself, claiming she was fine and sending cheerful messages and excuses to her hostess. Alick handed the reins to Rachel, and after watching her drive off, he returned to the group to share the ladies' apologies. He then went looking for his uncle. However, he didn’t find him right away, and when he finally did, his uncle was so happy with his old friend and a group of cheerful young people that Alick didn’t want to rush him home, especially since Rachel would have taken Bessie to Timber End, leaving the house empty. Mr. Clare was so sociable and unable to pull himself away from enjoyable conversation that both he and Alick barely left for their walk across the park in time for the seven o'clock service. Mr. Clare had never been this late, and since he needed Alick's help, he could only assume from his wife’s absence that she was still at Timber End with his sister.
CHAPTER XXVI. THE END OF CLEVERNESS.
“Where am I? O vanity, We are not what we deem, The sins that hold my heart in thrall, They are more real than all.”—Rev. I. WILLIAMS.
“Where am I? O vanity, We are not what we think, The sins that have my heart captured, They are more real than everything.” —Rev. I. WILLIAMS.
As the uncle and nephew came out of church, and approached the yew-tree gate, Rachel came swiftly to meet them. “Oh, Alick! oh, uncle!” she said breathlessly. “Bessie says she is shocked to have turned your house upside down, but we could not go any further. And her baby is born!” Then in answer to exclamations, half-dismayed, half-wondering, “Yes, it is all right, so Nurse Jones says. I could not send to you, for we had to send everywhere at once. Mr. Harvey was not at home, and we telegraphed to London, but no one has come yet, and now I have just written a note to Lord Keith with the news of his son and heir. And, uncle, she has set her heart on your baptizing him directly.”
As the uncle and nephew walked out of church and approached the yew-tree gate, Rachel rushed to meet them. “Oh, Alick! Oh, uncle!” she said, panting. “Bessie says she’s sorry for turning your house upside down, but we couldn't go any further. And her baby is born!” Then, in response to their half-dismayed, half-wondering exclamations, she added, “Yes, everything is fine, according to Nurse Jones. I couldn’t send for you because we had to reach out everywhere at once. Mr. Harvey wasn’t home, and we telegraphed to London, but no one has shown up yet. I just wrote a note to Lord Keith with the news about his son and heir. And, uncle, she’s really hoping you will baptize him right away.”
There was some demur, for though the child had made so sudden a rush into the world, there seemed to be no ground for immediate alarm; and Mr. Clare being always at hand, did not think it expedient to give the name without knowing the father’s wishes with regard to that hereditary Alexander which had been borne by the dead son of the first marriage. A message, however, came down to hasten him, and when—as he had often before done in cottages—he demanded of Nurse Jones whether private baptism were immediately necessary, she allowed that she saw no pressing danger, but added, “that the lady was in a way about it,” and this both Rachel and her maid strongly corroborated. Rachel’s maid was an experienced person, whom Mrs. Curtis had selected with a view to Rachel’s weak state at the time of her marriage, and she showed herself anxious for anything that might abate Lady Keith’s excitement, to which they at length yielded, feeling that resistance might be dangerous to her. She further insisted that the rite should be performed in her presence; nor was she satisfied when Rachel had brought in her uncle, but insisted on likewise calling in her brother, who vaguely anxious, and fully conscious of the small size of the room, had remained down-stairs.
There was some hesitation, because although the child had arrived so unexpectedly, there didn't seem to be any reason for immediate alarm. Mr. Clare, being always nearby, thought it best not to give the name without knowing the father's wishes regarding that traditional name Alexander, which had been carried by the deceased son from the first marriage. However, a message came down urging him to hurry, and when—like he had done many times before in cottages—he asked Nurse Jones if a private baptism was urgently needed, she admitted that she didn't see any immediate danger, but added, “the lady was in a bit of a state,” which both Rachel and her maid strongly supported. Rachel’s maid was someone experienced, chosen by Mrs. Curtis considering Rachel’s frail condition at the time of her marriage, and she was eager to do anything that might ease Lady Keith’s anxiety, to which they ultimately agreed, feeling that pushing back might put her at risk. She also insisted that the ceremony should take place in her presence; nor was she satisfied when Rachel brought in her uncle, demanding that her brother be called in as well, who, feeling vaguely anxious and fully aware of the small size of the room, had stayed downstairs.
Mr. Clare always baptized his infant parishioners, and no one was anxious about his manner of handling the little one, the touch of whose garments might be familiar, as being no other than his own parish baby linen. He could do no otherwise than give the child the name reiterated by the mother, in weak but impatient accents, “Alexander Clare,” her brother’s own name, and when the short service was concluded, she called out triumphantly, “Make Alick kiss him, Rachel, and do homage to his young chieftain.”
Mr. Clare always baptized the babies from his congregation, and nobody worried about how he handled the little ones, whose clothes were probably just his own parish's baby linens. He couldn't help but give the child the name that the mother repeated in weak but impatient tones, “Alexander Clare,” which was also her brother’s name. When the brief service was over, she exclaimed proudly, “Have Alick kiss him, Rachel, and pay respect to his young chieftain.”
They obeyed her, as she lay watching them, and a very pretty sight she was with her dark hair lying round her, a rosy colour on her cheeks, and light in her eyes; but Mr. Clare thought both her touch and voice feverish, and entreated Rachel not to let her talk. Indeed Alick longed to take Rachel away, but this was not at present feasible, since her maid was occupied with the infant, and Nurse Jones was so entirely a cottage practitioner that she was scarcely an available attendant elsewhere. Bessie herself would by no means have parted with her sister-in-law, nor was it possible to reduce her to silence. “Alexander!” she said joyfully, “I always promised my child that he should not have a stupid second son’s name. I had a right to my own father’s and brother’s name, and now it can’t be altered,” then catching a shade of disapproval upon Rachel’s face, “not that I would have hurried it on if I had not thought it right, poor little fellow, but now I trust he will do nicely, and I do think we have managed it all with less trouble than might have been expected.”
They listened to her as she lay there watching them, and she looked really pretty with her dark hair spread around her, a rosy glow on her cheeks, and light in her eyes. However, Mr. Clare thought both her touch and voice seemed feverish, and he urged Rachel not to let her talk. In fact, Alick wanted to take Rachel away, but that wasn't possible right now since her maid was busy with the baby, and Nurse Jones was so much of a cottage practitioner that she was hardly available for anything else. Bessie herself definitely wouldn’t let go of her sister-in-law, nor could she be silenced. “Alexander!” she said happily, “I always promised my child that he wouldn’t have a silly second son’s name. I had the right to my own father’s and brother’s name, and now it can’t be changed.” Then, noticing a hint of disapproval on Rachel’s face, she added, “Not that I would have rushed it if I didn’t think it was the right thing to do for the poor little guy, but now I hope he’ll be just fine, and I really think we’ve handled everything with less trouble than we expected.”
Sure by this time that she was talking too much, Rachel was glad to hear that Mr. Harvey was come. He was a friendly, elderly man, who knew them all intimately, having attended Alick through his tedious recovery, and his first measure was to clear the room. Rachel thought that “at her age” he might have accepted her services, rather than her maid’s, but she suspected Alick of instigating her exclusion, so eagerly did he pounce on her to make her eat, drink, and lie on the sofa, and so supremely scornful was he of her views of sitting up, a measure which might be the more needful for want of a bed.
Knowing she was talking too much, Rachel felt relieved that Mr. Harvey had arrived. He was a friendly, older man who knew them all well, having supported Alick through his long recovery. His first action was to clear the room. Rachel thought that “at her age,” he might have welcomed her help instead of relying on her maid, but she suspected Alick was behind her being sent away, given how eager he was to insist she eat, drink, and lie on the sofa. He was also very dismissive of her thoughts about sitting up, something that might actually be necessary since there was no bed available.
On the whole, however, he was satisfied about her; alarm and excitement had restrung her powers, and she knew herself to have done her part, so that she was ready to be both cheerful and important over the evening meal. Mr. Clare was by no means annoyed at this vicissitude, but rather amused at it, and specially diverted at the thought of what would be Mr. Lifford’s consternation. Lord Keith’s servant had come over, reporting his master to be a good deal worn out by the afternoon’s anxiety, and recommending that he should not be again disturbed that night, so he was off their minds, and the only drawback to the pleasantness of the evening was surprise at seeing and hearing nothing from Mr. Harvey. The London doctor arrived, he met him and took him up-stairs at once; and then ensued a long stillness, all attempts at conversation died away, and Alick only now and then made attempts to send his companions to bed. Mr. Clare went out to the hall to listen, or Rachel stole up to the extemporary nursery to consult Nurse Jones, whom she found very gruff at having been turned out in favour of the stranger maid.
On the whole, though, he felt good about her; the shock and excitement had energized her, and she knew she had done her part, so she was ready to be both cheerful and important during dinner. Mr. Clare wasn’t annoyed by this change at all, but rather found it amusing, especially picturing Mr. Lifford’s shock. Lord Keith’s servant had come over, saying his master was quite worn out from the afternoon’s stress and suggested he shouldn’t be disturbed again that night, so that was off their minds, and the only downside to the evening's enjoyment was the surprise of not seeing or hearing anything from Mr. Harvey. When the London doctor arrived, he met him and took him upstairs right away; then there was a long silence, and all attempts at conversation faded away, with Alick only occasionally trying to send his friends to bed. Mr. Clare went out to the hall to listen, while Rachel tiptoed up to the makeshift nursery to check on Nurse Jones, who was very grumpy about being pushed out for the new maid.
It was a strange time of suspense. Alick made Rachel lie on the sofa, and she almost heard the beating of her own heart; he sat by her, trying to seem to read, and his uncle stood by the open window, where the tinkle of a sheep bell came softly in from the meadows, and now and then the hoot of the owl round the church tower made the watchers start. To watch that calm and earnest face was their great help in that hour of alarm; those sightless eyes, and broad, upraised spiritual brow seemed so replete with steadfast trust and peace, that the very sight was soothing and supporting to the young husband and wife, and when the long strokes of twelve resounded from the church tower, Mr. Clare, turning towards them, began in his full, musical voice to repeat Bishop Ken’s noble midnight hymn—
It was a tense moment. Alick made Rachel lie on the sofa, and she could almost hear her own heartbeat; he sat next to her, pretending to read, while his uncle stood by the open window, where the soft sound of a sheep bell drifted in from the fields, and occasionally the hoot of an owl from the church tower made them jump. Watching that calm and serious face gave them strength during this time of fear; those blind eyes and pronounced, uplifted brow seemed filled with unwavering trust and peace, so much so that just looking at him provided comfort to the young couple. When the clock struck twelve from the church tower, Mr. Clare turned to them and began to recite Bishop Ken’s beautiful midnight hymn in his rich, melodic voice—
“My God, now I from sleep awake, The sole possession of me take; From midnight terrors me secure, And guard my soul from thoughts impure.”
“My God, now I wake from sleep, Take complete possession of me; Keep me safe from midnight fears, And protect my soul from unclean thoughts.”
To Rachel, who had so often heard that hour strike amid a tumult of midnight miseries, there was something in these words inexpressibly gentle and soothing; the tears sprang into her eyes, as if she had found the spell to chase the grisly phantoms, and she clasped her husband’s hand, as though to communicate her comfort.
To Rachel, who had frequently heard that hour toll amidst a chaos of late-night struggles, there was something in these words that was incredibly gentle and calming; tears filled her eyes, as if she had discovered the cure to chase away the dark shadows, and she grasped her husband’s hand, almost as if to share her relief.
“Oh may I always ready stand, With my lamp burning in my hand; May I in sight of Heaven rejoice, Whene’er I hear the Bridegroom’s voice.”
“Oh, may I always be ready, With my lamp lit in my hand; May I rejoice in sight of Heaven, Whenever I hear the Bridegroom’s voice.”
Mr. Clare had just repeated this verse, when he paused, saying, “They are coming down,” and moved quickly to meet them in the hall. Alick followed him to the door, but as they entered the dining-room, after a moment’s hesitation, returned to Rachel, as she sat upright and eager. “After all, this may mean nothing,” he said.
Mr. Clare had just said this verse again when he stopped and said, “They’re coming down,” then hurried to meet them in the hall. Alick followed him to the door, but as they walked into the dining room, after a brief pause, he went back to Rachel, who was sitting up and eager. “Maybe this doesn’t mean anything after all,” he said.
“Oh, we don’t make it better by fancying it nothing,” said Rachel. “Let us try to meet it like your uncle. Oh, Alick, it seemed all this time as if I could pray again, as I never could since those sad times. He seemed so sure, such a rock to help and lean on.”
“Oh, we don’t make it better by pretending it’s nothing,” said Rachel. “Let’s try to face it like your uncle. Oh, Alick, all this time, it felt like I could pray again, like I haven't been able to since those sad times. He seemed so certain, like a solid rock to help and lean on.”
He drew her close to him. “You are praying for her!” he murmured, his soul so much absorbed in his sister that he could not admit other thoughts, and still they waited and watched till other sounds were heard. The London doctor was going away. Alick sprang to the door, and opened it as his uncle’s hand was on the lock. There was a mournful, solemn expression on his face, as they gazed mutely up in expectation.
He pulled her close to him. “You’re praying for her!” he whispered, so focused on his sister that he couldn’t think of anything else, and yet they kept waiting and watching until they heard other sounds. The London doctor was leaving. Alick rushed to the door and opened it just as his uncle’s hand was on the lock. There was a sad, serious look on his face as they silently looked up in anticipation.
“Children,” he said, “it is as we feared. This great sorrow is coming on us.”
“Kids,” he said, “it’s just as we worried. This big sadness is approaching us.”
“Then there is danger,” said Alick with stunned calmness.
“Then there's danger,” said Alick with a shocked calmness.
“More than danger,” said his uncle, “they have tried all that skill can do.”
“More than just danger,” said his uncle, “they’ve tried everything that skill can do.”
“Was it the fall?” said Alick.
“Was it the fall?” Alick asked.
“It was my bad management, it always is,” said Rachel, ever affirmative.
“It was my poor management, it always is,” said Rachel, always optimistic.
“No, dear child,” said Mr. Clare, “there was fatal injury in the fall, and even absolute stillness for the last few hours could hardly have saved her. You have nothing to reproach yourself with.”
“No, dear child,” said Mr. Clare, “the fall caused a fatal injury, and even complete stillness for the last few hours probably wouldn’t have saved her. You have nothing to blame yourself for.”
“And now!” asked Alick, hoarsely.
“And now!” asked Alick, hoarsely.
“Much more exhausted than when we were with her; sometimes faint, but still feverish. They think it may last many hours yet, poor dear child, she has so much youth and strength.”
“Way more exhausted than when we were with her; sometimes feeling faint, but still feverish. They think it could last for many more hours, poor dear child, she has so much youth and strength.”
“Does she know?”
“Does she know yet?”
“Harvey thought some of their measures alarmed her, but they soothed and encouraged her while they saw hope, and he thinks she has no real fears.”
“Harvey thought some of their actions worried her, but they comforted and supported her as they saw hope, and he believes she has no actual fears.”
“And how is it to be—” said Alick. “She ought—”
“And how is it supposed to be—” said Alick. “She should—”
“Yes; Harvey thinks she ought, she is fully herself, and it can make no difference now. He is gone to judge about coming up at once; but Alick, my poor boy, you must speak to her. I have found that without seeing the face I cannot judge what my words may be doing.”
“Yes; Harvey thinks she should, she is completely herself, and it doesn't matter now. He's gone to decide about coming up immediately; but Alick, my poor boy, you need to talk to her. I've realized that without seeing her face I can't tell what effect my words might have.”
Rachel asked about poor Lord Keith, and was told that he was to be left in quiet that night, unless his wife should be very anxious for him at once. Mr. Harvey came down, bringing word that his patient was asking urgently for Mrs. Keith.
Rachel asked about poor Lord Keith and was told that he would be left alone that night, unless his wife became very anxious for him. Mr. Harvey came down with the news that his patient was urgently asking for Mrs. Keith.
“You had better let me go in first,” said Alick, his face changed by the firm but tender awe-struck look.
“You should let me go in first,” Alick said, his face transformed by a strong yet gentle look of admiration.
“Not if she is asking for me,” said Rachel, moving on, her heart feeling as if it would rend asunder, but her looks composed.
“Not if she’s asking for me,” said Rachel, moving on, her heart feeling like it would break, but her expression calm.
Bessie’s face was in shade, but her voice had the old ring of coaxing archness. “I thought you would stay to see the doctors off. They had their revenge for our stealing a march on them, and have prowled about me till I was quite faint; and now I don’t feel a bit like sleep, though I am so tired. Would Alick think me very wicked if I kept you a little while? Don’t I see Alick’s shadow? Dear old fellow, are you come to wish me good-night? That is good of you. I am not going to plague you any more, Alick, I shall be so good now! But what?” as he held back the curtain, and the light fell on his face, “Oh! there is nothing wrong with the baby?”
Bessie’s face was in the shadows, but her voice still had that familiar teasing tone. “I thought you would stick around to see the doctors off. They got back at us for getting ahead of them and have been hovering around me until I felt really weak; and now I can’t seem to feel like sleeping, even though I’m so tired. Would Alick think I was really bad if I kept you here a little longer? Can I see Alick’s shadow? Dear old friend, have you come to say goodnight? That’s kind of you. I promise I won’t bother you anymore, Alick, I’ll be good now! But wait,” as he pulled back the curtain and the light hit his face, “Oh! Is there something wrong with the baby?”
“No, dear Bessie, not with the baby,” said Alick, with strong emphasis.
“No, dear Bessie, not with the baby,” Alick said firmly.
“What, myself?” she said quickly, turning her eyes from one face to the other.
“What, me?” she said quickly, looking from one face to the other.
Alick told her the state of the case. Hers was a resolute character, or perhaps the double nature that had perplexed and chafed her brother was so integral that nothing could put it off. She fully comprehended, but as if she and herself were two separate persons. She asked how much time might be left to her, and hearing the doctor’s opinion, said, “Then I think my poor old Lord Keith had better have his night’s rest in peace. But, oh! I should like to speak to Colin. Send for him, Alick; telegraph, Alick; he is at the Paddington Hotel. Send directly.”
Alick updated her on the situation. She had a strong character, or maybe the duality that had confused her brother was so much a part of her that nothing could change it. She understood everything, but it was like she was two different people at once. She asked how much time she had left, and after hearing the doctor's opinion, she said, “Then I think my poor old Lord Keith should have his night’s rest in peace. But, oh! I’d like to talk to Colin. Send for him, Alick; telegraph him, Alick; he’s at the Paddington Hotel. Send for him right away.”
She was only tranquillised by her brother beginning to write a telegraphic message.
She only felt calm when her brother started to write a text message.
“Rachel,” she said, presently, “Ermine must marry him now, and see to Lord Keith, and the little one—tell her so, please,” then with her unfailing courtesy, “he will seem like your own child, dear Rachel, and you should have him; but you’ll have a wandering home with the dear old Highlanders. Oh! I wonder if he will ever go into them, there must always be a Keith there, and they say he is sure of the Victoria Cross, though papa will not send up his name because of being his own son.” Then passing her hand over her face, she exclaimed—“Wasn’t I talking great nonsense, Rachel? I don’t seem able to say what I mean.”
“Rachel,” she said, after a moment, “Ermine has to marry him now, and take care of Lord Keith and the little one—please tell her that,” then with her usual politeness, “he will feel like your own child, dear Rachel, and you should have him; but you’ll have a restless home with the dear old Highlanders. Oh! I wonder if he will ever go to them, there must always be a Keith there, and they say he’s bound to get the Victoria Cross, even though Dad won’t submit his name because he’s his own son.” Then, running her hand over her face, she exclaimed—“Wasn’t I just rambling, Rachel? I can’t seem to express what I mean.”
“It is weakness, dearest,” said Rachel, “perhaps you might gain a little strength if you were quite still and listened to my uncle.”
“It’s weakness, my dear,” Rachel said, “maybe you could find some strength if you just stayed quiet and listened to my uncle.”
“Presently. O Rachel! I like the sound of your voice; I am glad Alick has got you. You suit him better than his wicked little sister ever did. You have been so kind to me to-night, Rachel; I never thought I should have loved you so well, when I quizzed you. I did use you ill then, Rachel, but I think you won Alick by it just by force of contrast,”—she was verging into the dreamy voice, and Rachel requested her to rest and be silent.
“Right now. Oh Rachel! I love the sound of your voice; I’m so glad Alick has you. You fit him way better than his mischievous little sister ever did. You’ve been so kind to me tonight, Rachel; I never thought I would come to care for you so much when I teased you. I treated you badly back then, Rachel, but I think you won Alick over just by being so different,”—she was starting to sound dreamy, and Rachel asked her to take a break and be quiet.
“It can’t make any difference,” said Bessie, “and I’ll try to be quiet and do all right, if you’ll just let me have my child again. I do want to know who he is like. I am so glad it is not he that was hurt. Oh! I did so want to have brought him up to be like Alick.”
“It won’t make any difference,” Bessie said, “and I’ll try to be quiet and behave, if you’ll just let me have my child back. I really want to know who he takes after. I’m so relieved it wasn’t him who got hurt. Oh! I really wanted to raise him to be like Alick.”
The infant was brought, and she insisted on being lifted to see its face, which she declared to resemble her brother; but here her real self seemed to gain the mastery, and calling it a poor little motherless thing, she fell into a fit of violent convulsive weeping, which ended in a fainting fit, and this was a fearfully perceptible stage on her way to the dark valley.
The baby was brought in, and she insisted on being lifted to see its face, which she claimed looked like her brother’s. But at that moment, her true emotions took over, and calling it a poor little motherless thing, she broke down in intense, convulsive sobs that ended in a fainting spell, marking a noticeable step on her journey into a dark place.
She was, however, conscious when she revived, and sent for her uncle, whom she begged to let her be laid in his churchyard, “near the willow-tree; not next to my aunt, I’m not good enough,” she said, “but I could not bear that old ruined abbey, where all the Keiths go, and Alick always wanted me to be here—Alick was right!”
She was aware when she came to and asked for her uncle, whom she pleaded to allow her to be buried in his churchyard, “near the willow tree; not next to my aunt, I’m not good enough,” she said, “but I couldn’t stand that old ruined abbey where all the Keiths go, and Alick always wanted me to be here—Alick was right!”
The dreamy mist was coming on, nor was it ever wholly dispelled again. She listened, or seemed to listen, to her uncle’s prayers, but whenever he ceased, she began to talk—perhaps sensibly at first, but soon losing the thread—sometimes about her child or husband, sometimes going back to those expressions of Charles Carleton that had been so dire a shock to her. “He ought not! I thought he knew better! Alick was right! Come away, Rachel, I’ll never see him again. I have done nothing that he should insult me. Alick was right!”
The dreamy mist was settling in and it never really went away again. She listened, or at least seemed to, to her uncle’s prayers, but whenever he stopped, she started talking—maybe making sense at first, but quickly losing the plot—sometimes about her child or husband, other times going back to those hurtful words from Charles Carleton that had shocked her so much. “He shouldn’t! I thought he knew better! Alick was right! Come on, Rachel, I’ll never see him again. I haven’t done anything that would justify his insult. Alick was right!”
Then would come the sobs, terrible in themselves, and ending in fainting, and the whole scene was especially grievous to Alick, even more than to either of the others, for as her perception failed her, association carried her back to old arguments with him, and sometimes it was, “Alick, indeed you do like to attribute motives,” sometimes, “Indeed it is not all self-deception,” or the recurring wail, “Alick is right, only don’t let him be so angry!” If he told her how far he was from anger, she would make him kiss her, or return to some playful rejoinder, more piteous to hear than all, or in the midst would come on the deadly swoon.
Then the sobs would come, terrible on their own, ending in fainting, and the whole scene hit Alick especially hard, even more so than the others, because as her awareness faded, memories dragged her back to old arguments with him. Sometimes it was, “Alick, you really like to read into things,” other times, “It’s not all just self-deception,” or the persistent plea, “Alick is right, just don’t let him get so angry!” If he told her how far he was from anger, she would insist he kiss her or throw out some playful comeback, which was more painful to hear than anything else, or suddenly she would fall into a deadly swoon.
Morning light was streaming into the room when one of these swoons had fallen on her, and no means of restoration availed to bring her back to anything but a gasping condition, in which she lay supported in Rachel’s arms. The doctor had his hand on her pulse, the only sounds outside were the twittering of the birds, and within, the ticking of the clock, Alick’s deep-drawn breaths, and his uncle’s prayer. Rachel felt a thrill pass through the form she was supporting, she looked at Mr. Harvey, and understood his glance, but neither moved till Mr. Clare’s voice finished, when the doctor said, “I feared she would have suffered much more. Thank God!”
Morning light was flooding the room when one of those fainting spells hit her, and nothing seemed to revive her except for the gasping state she was in, being held up in Rachel’s arms. The doctor had his hand on her pulse, the only sounds outside were the chirping of birds, and inside, there was the ticking of the clock, Alick’s deep breaths, and his uncle’s prayer. Rachel felt a shiver pass through the body she was supporting, she looked at Mr. Harvey and understood his look, but neither of them moved until Mr. Clare finished his prayer, at which point the doctor said, “I was afraid she would have suffered a lot more. Thank God!”
He gently relieved Rachel from the now lifeless weight, and they knelt on for some moments in complete stillness, except that Alick’s breath became more laboured, and his shuddering and shivering could no longer be repressed. Rachel was excessively terrified to perceive that his whole frame was trembling like an aspen leaf. He rose, however, bent to kiss his sister’s brow, and steadying himself by the furniture, made for the door. The others followed him, and in a few rapid words Rachel was assured that her fears were ungrounded, it was only an attack of his old Indian fever, which was apt to recur on any shock, but was by no means alarming, though for the present it must be given way to. Indeed, his teeth were chattering too much for him to speak intelligibly, when he tried to tell Rachel to rest and not think of him.
He gently lifted Rachel from the now still weight, and they knelt for a few moments in complete silence, except for Alick's breathing, which became more labored, and his shuddering and shivering that he could no longer control. Rachel was incredibly scared to see that his whole body was trembling like an aspen leaf. He stood up, leaned down to kiss his sister's forehead, and steadied himself against the furniture as he made his way to the door. The others followed him, and in a few quick words, Rachel was reassured that her fears were unfounded; it was just an episode of his old Indian fever, which could recur after any shock, but was not serious, although it needed to be dealt with for now. In fact, his teeth were chattering too much for him to speak clearly when he tried to tell Rachel to rest and not worry about him.
This of course was impossible, and the sun had scarcely risen, before he was placed in his old quarters, the bed in the little inner study, and Rachel watched over him while Mr. Clare had driven off with the doctor to await the awakening of Lord Keith.
This was obviously impossible, and the sun had barely come up before he was put back in his old room, the bed in the small inner study, while Rachel kept an eye on him as Mr. Clare had taken off with the doctor to wait for Lord Keith to wake up.
Rachel had never so much needed strength. It was hard to believe the assurances of Alick, the doctor, and the whole house, that his condition was not critical, for he was exceedingly ill for some hours, the ailment having been coming on all night, though it was forced back by the resolute will, and it was aggravated by the intensity of his grief, which on the other hand broke forth the more violently from the failure of the physical powers. The brother and sister had been so long alone in the world together, and with all her faults she had been so winning, that it was a grievous loss to him, coming too in the full bloom of her beauty and prosperity, when he was conscious of having dealt severely with her foibles. All was at an end—that double thread of brilliant good-nature and worldly selfishness, with the one strand of sound principle sometimes coming into sight. The life was gone from the earth in its incompleteness, without an unravelling of its complicated texture, and the wandering utterances that revealed how entirely the brother stood first with her, added poignancy to his regret for having been harsh with her. It could hardly be otherwise than that his censures, however just, should now recoil upon him, and in vain did Rachel try to point out that every word of his sister’s had proved that her better sense had all along acquiesced—he only felt what it might have been if he had been more indulgent and less ironical, and gave himself infinitely harder measure than he ever could have shown to her. It was long before the suffering, either mental or bodily, by any means abated, and Rachel felt extremely lonely, deserted, and doubtful whether she were in any way ministering to his relief, but at last a gleam of satisfaction came upon her. He evidently did like her attendance on him, and he began to say something about Bessie’s real love and esteem for her—softer grief was setting in, and the ailment was lessening.
Rachel had never needed strength more. It was hard to believe Alick, the doctor, and everyone else in the house when they said his condition wasn’t critical, because he had been extremely ill for hours. His illness had been brewing all night, but it was pushed back by his strong will. However, his intense grief only made things worse, breaking out more violently as his physical strength failed. The brother and sister had been alone in the world together for so long, and despite her faults, she had a charm that made it a deep loss for him, especially now as she was in the prime of her beauty and success, while he realized he had been harsh about her weaknesses. Everything was over—that mix of cheerful good nature and worldly selfishness, occasionally tinged by a thread of genuine principle. Life had departed, leaving behind its complexities unresolved, and the wandering words that showed just how much he meant to her intensified his regret for being tough on her. It was inevitable that his criticisms, however justified, would come back to haunt him, and Rachel’s attempts to point out that all of her sister’s words showed she had always accepted his views fell on deaf ears. He could only think about how different things could have been if he had been more forgiving and less sarcastic, and he was much harder on himself than he ever had been with her. It took a long time for either his mental or physical suffering to ease, and Rachel felt incredibly lonely, abandoned, and unsure if she was helping him at all. But eventually, a sense of satisfaction washed over her. He clearly appreciated her being there, and he started to mention Bessie’s true love and regard for her—softer grief was settling in, and his condition was improving.
The summer morning was advancing, and the knell rung out its two deep notes from the church tower. Rachel had been dreading the effect on him, but he lay still, as if he had been waiting for it, and was evidently counting the twenty-three strokes that told the age of the deceased. Then he said he was mending, and that he should fall asleep if Rachel would leave him, see after the poor child, and if his uncle should not come home within the next quarter of an hour take measures to silence the bell for the morning service; after which, he laid his injunctions on her to rest, or what should he say to her mother? And the approach to a smile with which these last words were spoken, enabled Rachel to obey in some comfort.
The summer morning was progressing, and the church tower rang out its two deep notes. Rachel had been worried about how he would react, but he lay still, as if he had been waiting for it, and was clearly counting the twenty-three strokes that marked the age of the deceased. Then he mentioned that he was getting better and that he would fall asleep if Rachel left him to check on the poor child. He also asked her to take action to stop the bell for the morning service if his uncle didn’t come home in the next fifteen minutes. After that, he urged her to rest, or what would he tell her mother? The hint of a smile with which he said these last words allowed Rachel to agree with some comfort.
After satisfying herself that the child was doing well, Rachel was obliged to go into her former room, and there to stand face to face with the white, still countenance so lately beaming with life. She was glad to be alone. The marble calm above all counteracted and drove aside the painful phantom left by Lovedy’s agony, and yet the words of that poor, persecuted, suffering child came surging into her mind full of peace and hope. Perhaps it was the first time she had entered into what it is for weak things to confound the wise, or how things hidden from the intellectual can be revealed to babes; and she hid her face in her hands, and was thankful for the familiar words of old, “That we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life.”
After making sure the child was okay, Rachel had to go into her old room and confront the pale, peaceful face that had recently been filled with life. She was relieved to be alone. The serene stillness helped push away the painful memories of Lovedy's suffering, yet the words of that poor, tormented child flooded her mind, bringing with them a sense of peace and hope. Maybe for the first time, she understood how the weak can confound the wise, or how truths hidden from the learned can be revealed to the innocent; and she buried her face in her hands, grateful for the familiar words, “That we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life.”
The continued clang of the bell warned her. She looked round at the still uncleared room, poor Bessie’s rings and bracelets lying mingled with her own on the toilet table, and her little clock, Bessie’s own gift, standing ticking on as it had done at her peaceful rising only yesterday morning.
The persistent clang of the bell alerted her. She glanced around the still messy room, poor Bessie’s rings and bracelets mixed with her own on the vanity, and her little clock, a gift from Bessie, ticking away just like it had during her calm morning routine only yesterday.
She took out her hat, and was on her way to silence the bell-ringer, when Mr. Clare was driven up to the churchyard gate.
She took off her hat and was heading to confront the bell-ringer when Mr. Clare drove up to the churchyard gate.
Lord Keith had been greatly shocked, but not overpowered, he had spoken calmly, and made minute inquiries, and Mr. Clare was evidently a little disappointed, repeating that age and health made a difference, and that people showed their feelings in various ways. Colonel Keith had been met at the station, and was with his brother, but would come to make arrangements in the course of the day. Rachel begged to stop the bell, representing that the assembled congregation included no male person capable of reading the lessons; but Mr. Clare answered, “No, my dear, this is not a day to do without such a beginning. We must do what we can. Or stay, it is the last chapter of St. John. I could hardly fail in that. Sit near me, and give me the word if I do, unless you want to be with Alick.”
Lord Keith was deeply shocked but not overwhelmed; he spoke calmly and asked detailed questions. Mr. Clare seemed a bit disappointed, emphasizing that age and health made a difference, and that people express their feelings in different ways. Colonel Keith had been picked up at the station and was with his brother, but he would come by later to make arrangements. Rachel requested to stop the bell, noting that there was no man present who could read the lessons; however, Mr. Clare replied, “No, my dear, this isn’t a day to skip such a start. We must do what we can. Or wait, it’s the last chapter of St. John. I can’t possibly mess that up. Sit near me and let me know if I slip up, unless you want to be with Alick.”
As Rachel knelt that day, the scales of self-conceit seemed to have gone. She had her childhood’s heart again. Her bitter remorse, her afterthoughts of perplexity had been lulled in the long calm of the respite, and when roused again, even by this sudden sorrow, she woke to her old trust and hope. And when she listened to the expressive though calm rehearsal of that solemn sunrise-greeting to the weary darkling fishers on the shore of the mountain lake, it was to her as if the form so long hidden from her by mists of her own raising, once more shone forth, smoothing the vexed waters of her soul, and she could say with a new thrill of recognition, “It is the Lord.”
As Rachel knelt that day, her self-importance seemed to disappear. She felt like she had her childhood heart back. The deep regret and confusing thoughts that had troubled her were calmed in the long break, and when they returned, even with this sudden sadness, she awoke to her old trust and hope. And as she listened to the meaningful yet calm repetition of that solemn sunrise greeting to the tired fishermen on the shore of the mountain lake, it felt to her as if the form that had been hidden from her by the mists of her own making finally emerged, calming the troubled waters of her soul, and she could say with a fresh sense of recognition, “It is the Lord.”
Once Mr. Clare missed a word, and paused for aid. She was crying too much to be ready, and, through her tears, could not recover the passage so as to prompt him before he had himself recalled the verse. Perhaps a sense of failure was always good for Rachel, but she was much concerned, and her apologies quite distressed Mr. Clare.
Once Mr. Clare missed a word and paused for help. She was crying too much to be ready, and through her tears, she couldn't recall the passage to prompt him before he remembered the verse himself. Maybe feeling like she had failed was always beneficial for Rachel, but she was very worried, and her apologies really upset Mr. Clare.
“Dear child, no one could be expected to keep the place when there was so much to dwell on in the very comfort of the chapter. And now if you are not in haste, would you take me to the place that dear Bessie spoke of, by the willow-tree. I am almost afraid little Mary Lawrence’s grave may have left too little space.”
“Dear child, it’s hard to expect someone to maintain the place with so much to think about in the warmth of the chapter. Now, if you're not in a hurry, could you take me to the spot that dear Bessie mentioned, by the willow tree? I’m a bit worried that little Mary Lawrence’s grave might not leave enough room.”
Rachel guided him to a lovely spot, almost overhanging the stream, with the dark calm pools beneath the high bank, and the willow casting a long morning shadow over it. Her mind went back to the merry drive from Avoncester, when she had first seen Elizabeth Keith, and had little dreamt that in one short year she should be choosing the spot for her grave. Mr. Clare paced the green nook and was satisfied, asking if it were not a very pretty place.
Rachel led him to a beautiful spot, almost hanging over the stream, with dark, still pools beneath the high bank, and the willow casting a long morning shadow over it. She remembered the cheerful drive from Avoncester when she first saw Elizabeth Keith, hardly imagining that in just a year she would be picking the spot for her grave. Mr. Clare walked around the green nook and seemed pleased, asking if it wasn't a really lovely place.
“Yes,” said Rachel, “there is such a quiet freshness, and the willow-tree seems to guard it.”
“Yes,” Rachel said, “there’s such a calm freshness, and the willow tree seems to protect it.”
“Is there not a white foxglove on the bank?”
“Is there no white foxglove on the bank?”
“Yes, but with only a bell or two left at the top of the side spikes.”
“Yes, but there are only a bell or two left at the top of the side spikes.”
“Your aunt sowed the seed. It is strange that I was very near choosing this place nine years ago, but it could not be seen from my window, which was an object with me then.”
“Your aunt planted the seed. It’s odd that I almost picked this spot nine years ago, but I couldn’t see it from my window, which mattered to me back then.”
Just then his quick ear detected that some one was at the parsonage door, and Rachel, turning round, exclaimed with horror, “It is that unhappy Mr. Carleton.”
Just then, his sharp ear picked up that someone was at the parsonage door, and Rachel, turning around, exclaimed in shock, “It’s that unfortunate Mr. Carleton.”
“Poor young fellow,” said Mr. Clare, with more of pity than of anger, “I had better speak to him.”
“Poor kid,” said Mr. Clare, with more sympathy than anger, “I should talk to him.”
But they were far from the path, and it was not possible to guide the blind steps rapidly between the graves and head stones, so that before the pathway was reached young Carleton must have received the sad reply to his inquiries, for hurrying from the door he threw himself on his horse, and rode off at full speed.
But they were far from the path, and it was impossible to quickly navigate the blind steps between the graves and headstones. Before they reached the pathway, young Carleton must have gotten the disappointing answer to his questions, because he rushed out the door, jumped on his horse, and rode off at full speed.
By the afternoon, when Colonel Keith came to Bishopsworthy, Alick was lying on the sofa with such a headache that he could neither see nor spell, and Rachel was writing letters for him, both in the frame of mind in which the Colonel’s genuine warm affection and admiration for Bessie was very comforting, assisting them in putting all past misgivings out of sight. He had induced his brother to see Mr. Harvey, and the result had been that Lord Keith had consented to a consultation the next day with an eminent London surgeon, since it was clear that the blow, not the sciatica, was answerable for the suffering which was evidently becoming severe. The Colonel of course intended to remain with his brother, at least till after the funeral.
By the afternoon, when Colonel Keith arrived in Bishopsworthy, Alick was lying on the sofa with such a headache that he could neither see nor spell, and Rachel was writing letters for him. Both were in a mindset where the Colonel’s genuine warmth and admiration for Bessie were very comforting, helping them to put all past worries aside. He had convinced his brother to meet with Mr. Harvey, and the outcome was that Lord Keith had agreed to a consultation the next day with a well-known surgeon from London, since it was clear that the blow—not the sciatica—was responsible for the pain that was obviously becoming severe. The Colonel, of course, planned to stay with his brother, at least until after the funeral.
“Can you?” exclaimed Alick. “Ought you not to be at Avoncester?”
“Can you?” Alick exclaimed. “Shouldn't you be at Avoncester?”
“I am not a witness, and the case is in excellent hands.”
“I’m not a witness, and the case is in great hands.”
“Could you not run down? I shall be available tomorrow, and I could be with Lord Keith.”
“Could you not hurry down? I’ll be available tomorrow, and I could be with Lord Keith.”
“Thank you, Alick, it is impossible for me to leave him,” said Colin, so quietly that no one could have guessed how keenly he felt the being deprived of bringing her brother to Ermine, and being present at the crisis to which all his thoughts and endeavours had so long been directed.
“Thank you, Alick, I can’t leave him,” Colin said softly, so quietly that no one could tell how intensely he felt about missing the chance to bring her brother to Ermine and being there for the moment he had focused on for so long.
That assize day had long been a dream of dread to Rachel, and perhaps even more so to her husband. Yet how remote its interest actually seemed! They scarcely thought of it for the chief part of the day. Alick looking very pale, though calling himself well, went early to Timber End, and he had not long been gone before a card was brought in, with an urgent entreaty that Mrs. Keith would see Mrs. Carleton. Rachel longed to consult Mr. Clare, but he had gone out to a sick person, and she was obliged to decide that Alick could scarcely wish her to refuse, reluctant and indignant as she felt. But her wrath lessened as she saw the lady’s tears and agitation, so great that for a moment no words were possible, and the first were broken apologies for intruding, “Nothing should have induced her, but her poor son was in such a dreadful state.”
That day of the trial had long been a source of anxiety for Rachel, and maybe even more so for her husband. Yet, it felt so distant! They hardly thought about it for most of the day. Alick, looking quite pale but insisting he was fine, went off to Timber End early, and it wasn’t long before a card was brought in asking urgently for Mrs. Keith to see Mrs. Carleton. Rachel wanted to talk to Mr. Clare, but he had gone out to see someone who was ill, so she felt forced to conclude that Alick wouldn’t want her to refuse, no matter how reluctant and angry she felt. But her anger faded as she noticed the lady’s tears and distress, which were so intense that at first, no words would come, and the first thing she managed to say was a series of apologies for barging in, “Nothing would have made her come, but her poor son is in such a terrible condition.”
Rachel again became cold and stern, and did not relent at the description of Charlie’s horror and agony; for she was wondering at the audacity of mentioning his grief to the wife of Lady Keith’s brother, and thinking that this weak, indulgent mother was the very person to make a foolish, mischievous son, and it was on her tongue’s end that she did not see to what she was indebted for the favour of such a visit. Perhaps Mrs. Carleton perceived her resentment, for she broke off, and urgently asked if poor dear Lady Keith had alluded to anything that had passed. “Yes,” Rachel was is forced to say; and when again pressed as to the manner of alluding, replied, that “she was exceedingly distressed and displeased,” with difficulty refraining from saying who had done all the mischief. Mrs. Carleton was in no need of hearing it. “Ah!” she said, “it was right, quite right. It was very wrong of my poor boy. Indeed I am not excusing him, but if you only knew how he blames himself.”
Rachel grew cold and stern again and didn’t soften at the mention of Charlie’s horror and agony; she was taken aback by the nerve of bringing up his grief to the wife of Lady Keith’s brother. She thought that this weak, indulgent mother was the exact type to raise a foolish, troublemaking son, and she was on the verge of questioning what she had done to deserve such a visit. Perhaps Mrs. Carleton sensed her anger, as she abruptly changed the subject and asked if poor dear Lady Keith had mentioned anything that had happened. “Yes,” Rachel was forced to say, and when pressed again about how she had alluded to it, she replied that “she was extremely distressed and displeased,” struggling to hold back from naming who was responsible for all the trouble. Mrs. Carleton didn’t need to hear it. “Ah!” she said, “that was right, completely right. It was very wrong of my poor boy. I’m not excusing him, but if you only knew how much he blames himself.”
“I am sure he ought,” Rachel could not help saying. Mrs. Carleton here entreated her to listen, and seized her hand, so that there was no escape. The tale was broken and confused, but there could be little doubt of its correctness. Poor Bessie had been the bane of young Carleton’s life. She had never either decidedly accepted or repelled his affection, but, as she had truly said, let him follow her like a little dog, and amused herself with him in the absence of better game. He was in his father’s office, but her charms disturbed his application to business and kept him trifling among the croquet lawns of Littleworthy, whence his mother never had the resolution to banish her spoilt child. At last Miss Keith’s refusal of him softened by a half-implied hope, sent him forth to his uncle at Rio, on the promise that if he did his utmost there, he should in three years be enabled to offer Miss Keith more than a competence. With this hope he had for the first time applied himself to business in earnest, when he received the tidings of her marriage, and like a true spoilt child broke down at once in resolution, capacity, and health, so that his uncle was only too glad to ship him off for England. And when Lady Keith made her temporary home in her old neighbourhood, the companionship began again, permitted by her in good nature, and almost contempt, and allowed by his family in confidence of the rectitude of both parties; and indeed nothing could be more true than that no harm had been intended. But it was perilous ground; ladies, however highly principled, cannot leave off self-pleasing habits all at once, and the old terms returned sufficiently to render the barrier but slightly felt. When Lady Keith had spoken of her intention of leaving Timber End, the reply had been the old complaint of her brother’s harshness and jealousy of his ardent and lasting affection, and reproof had not at once silenced him. This it was that had so startled her as to make her hurry to her brother’s side, unheeding of her steps.
“I’m sure he should,” Rachel couldn’t help saying. Mrs. Carleton then urged her to listen and grabbed her hand, leaving no way out. The story was jumbled and unclear, but there was little doubt about its accuracy. Poor Bessie had been the downfall of young Carleton’s life. She never clearly accepted or rejected his affection, but, as she honestly said, she let him follow her like a little dog and entertained herself with him when there was no one more interesting around. He was working in his father’s office, but her beauty distracted him from his work and kept him idling around the croquet lawns of Littleworthy, which his mother never had the strength to remove her spoiled child from. Finally, Miss Keith’s rejection of him, softened by a hint of hope, sent him off to his uncle in Rio with the promise that if he worked hard there, he would be able to offer Miss Keith more than just a modest living in three years. With this hope, he applied himself to work seriously for the first time, only to receive the news of her marriage, which caused him, like a true spoiled child, to immediately break down in determination, ability, and health, to the point that his uncle was more than happy to send him back to England. When Lady Keith temporarily returned to her old neighborhood, their companionship resumed, allowed by her out of good nature and almost disdain, and permitted by his family, trusting the integrity of both. And indeed, it was entirely true that no harm was intended. But it was risky territory; women, no matter how principled, can’t just stop self-indulgent habits all at once, and the old dynamics came back enough to lessen the perceived boundaries. When Lady Keith mentioned her plan to leave Timber End, the response was the same old complaint about her brother’s harshness and jealousy of his passionate and lasting love, and his reproach didn’t quiet him immediately. This was what had startled her so much that she hurried to her brother’s side, not paying attention to where she stepped.
As far as Rachel could make out, the poor young man’s grief and despair had been poured out to his mother, and she, unable to soothe, had come to try to extract some assurance that the catastrophe had been unconnected with his folly. A very slight foundation would have served her, but this Rachel would not give, honestly believing him the cause of the accident, and also that the shock to the sense of duty higher than he could understand had occasioned the excitement which had destroyed the slender possibility of recovery. She pitied the unhappy man more than she had done at first, and she was much pained by his mother’s endeavours to obtain a palliative for him, but she could not be untrue. “Indeed,” she said, “I fear no one can say it was not so; I don’t think anything is made better by blinking the reality.”
As far as Rachel could tell, the young man's grief and despair had been shared with his mother, and she, unable to comfort him, had come to seek some reassurance that the tragedy had nothing to do with his mistakes. A very small amount of reassurance would have been enough for her, but Rachel wouldn’t provide it, firmly believing he was the cause of the accident, and that the shock of a responsibility beyond his understanding had caused the distress that ruined any slim chance of recovery. She felt more compassion for the unfortunate man than she had at first, and she was upset by his mother's attempts to find a way to ease his pain, but she couldn’t be dishonest. “Honestly,” she said, “I’m afraid no one can say it wasn’t so; I don’t think anything gets better by ignoring the truth.”
“Oh, Mrs. Keith, it is so dreadful. I cannot tell my poor son. I don’t know what might be the consequence.”
“Oh, Mrs. Keith, this is just terrible. I can’t tell my poor son. I have no idea what the outcome might be.”
Tears came into Rachel’s eyes. “Indeed,” she said, “I am very sorry for you. I believe every one knows that I have felt what it is to be guilty of fatal mischief, but, indeed, indeed I am sure that to realize it all is the only way to endure it, so as to be the better for it. Believe me, I am very sorry, but I don’t think it would be any real comfort to your son to hear that poor Bessie had never been careful, or that I was inexperienced, or the nurse ignorant. It is better to look at it fairly. I hear Mr. Clare coming in. Will you see him?” she added suddenly, much relieved.
Tears filled Rachel's eyes. “Honestly,” she said, “I feel so sorry for you. I think everyone knows I've experienced what it’s like to be guilty of serious wrongdoing, but I truly believe that facing it head-on is the only way to cope and come out stronger. Trust me, I really am sorry, but I don’t think it would comfort your son to hear that poor Bessie was careless, or that I was inexperienced, or that the nurse didn’t know what she was doing. It’s better to confront the truth. I hear Mr. Clare coming in. Do you want to see him?” she added suddenly, feeling much relieved.
But Mrs. Carleton did not wish to see him, and departed, thinking Alick Keith’s wife as bad as had ever been reported, and preparing an account of her mismanagement wherewith to remove her son’s remorse.
But Mrs. Carleton didn’t want to see him and left, thinking Alick Keith’s wife was as awful as everyone had said, and getting ready to tell a story about her mistakes to ease her son’s guilt.
She was scarcely gone, and Rachel had not had time to speak to Mr. Clare, before another visitor was upon her, no other than Lord Keith’s daughter, Mrs. Comyn Menteith; or, as she introduced herself, “I’m Isabel. I came down from London to-day because it was so very shocking and deplorable, and I am dying to see my poor little brother and uncle Colin. I must keep away from poor papa till the doctors are gone, so I came here.”
She had barely left, and Rachel hadn't even had a chance to talk to Mr. Clare before another visitor arrived—none other than Lord Keith’s daughter, Mrs. Comyn Menteith; or, as she introduced herself, “I’m Isabel. I came down from London today because it's so shocking and terrible, and I can't wait to see my poor little brother and uncle Colin. I have to stay away from poor dad until the doctors are gone, so I came here.”
She was a little woman in the delicately featured style of sandy prettiness, and exceedingly talkative and good-natured. The rapid tongue, though low and modulated, jarred painfully on Rachel’s feelings in the shaded staircase, and she was glad to shut the door of the temporary nursery, when Mrs. Menteith pounced upon the poor little baby, pitying him with all her might, comparing him with her own children, and asking authoritative questions, coupled with demonstrations of her intention of carrying him off to her own nursery establishment, which had been left in Scotland with a head nurse, whose name came in with every fourth word—that is, if he lived at all, which she seemed to think a hopeless matter.
She was a petite woman with softly pretty features and was incredibly chatty and friendly. Her quick speech, though soft and controlled, grated on Rachel’s nerves in the dimly lit staircase, and she was relieved to close the door of the makeshift nursery when Mrs. Menteith swooped in on the poor little baby, showering him with pity, comparing him to her own children, and asking authoritative questions along with clear hints that she intended to take him to her own nursery set up in Scotland, where a head nurse, whose name popped up in every fourth word, was in charge—if he survived at all, which she seemed to think was unlikely.
She spoke of “poor dear Bessie,” with such affection as was implied in “Oh, she was such a darling! I got on with her immensely. Why didn’t you send to me, though I don’t know that Donald would have let me come,” and she insisted on learning the whole history, illustrating it profusely with personal experiences. Rachel was constantly hoping to be released from a subject so intensely painful; but curiosity prevailed through the chatter, and kept hold of the thread of the story. Mrs. Menteith decidedly thought herself defrauded of a summons. “It was very odd of them all not to telegraph for me. Those telegrams are such a dreadful shock. There came one just as I set out from Timber End, and I made sure little Sandie was ill at home, for you know the child is very delicate, and there are so many things going about, and what with all this dreadful business, I was ready to faint, and after all it was only a stupid thing for Uncle Colin from those people at Avoncester.”
She talked about “poor dear Bessie” with such warmth that it was clear she felt, “Oh, she was such a sweetheart! I got along with her so well. Why didn’t you call for me, though I don’t think Donald would have allowed me to come,” and she insisted on hearing the whole story, filling it with plenty of personal anecdotes. Rachel was constantly hoping to escape a topic that was so painfully intense; but her curiosity won out over the chatter, and she kept following the storyline. Mrs. Menteith definitely felt cheated out of an invitation. “It was really strange that none of them called for me. Those telegrams are such a shocking surprise. One came just as I was leaving Timber End, and I was sure little Sandie was sick at home, because you know the child is very fragile, and there are so many illnesses going around, and with all this terrible situation, I was nearly fainting, and in the end, it was just a silly message from Uncle Colin about those people at Avoncester.”
“You do not know what it was?”
“You don't know what it was?”
“Somebody was convicted or acquitted, I forget which, but I know it had something to do with Uncle Colin’s journey to Russia; so ridiculous of him at his age, when he ought to know better, and so unlucky for all the family, his engagement to that swindler’s sister. By-the-bye, did he not cheat you out of ever so much money?”
“Someone was either convicted or found not guilty, I can’t remember which, but I know it was related to Uncle Colin’s trip to Russia; it’s so foolish of him at his age, when he should know better, and it’s really unfortunate for the whole family, his involvement with that con artist’s sister. By the way, didn’t he take a lot of money from you?”
“Oh, that had nothing to do with it—it was not Miss Williams’s brother—it was not he that was tried.”
“Oh, that had nothing to do with it—it wasn’t Miss Williams’s brother—it wasn’t him that was tried.”
“Wasn’t he? I thought he was found guilty or something; but it is very unfortunate for the family, for Uncle Colin won’t give her up, though she is a terrible cripple, too. And to tell you a secret, it was his obstinacy that made papa marry again; and now it is of no use, this poor little fellow will never live, and this sharper’s sister will be Lady Keith after all! So unlucky! Papa says she is very handsome, and poor Bessie declares she is quite ladylike.”
“Wasn't he? I thought he was found guilty or something; but it's really unfortunate for the family, because Uncle Colin won’t let her go, even though she’s a horrible cripple, too. And just so you know, it was his stubbornness that made Dad marry again; and now it doesn't matter, this poor little guy will never survive, and that con artist’s sister will end up being Lady Keith after all! So unlucky! Dad says she’s very beautiful, and poor Bessie insists she’s quite refined.”
“The most superior person I ever knew,” said Rachel, indignantly.
“The best person I ever knew,” Rachel said, feeling angry.
“Ah, yes, of course she must be very clever and artful if her brother is a swindler.”
“Ah, yes, she must be really smart and tricky if her brother is a con artist.”
“But indeed he is not, he was cheated; the swindler was Maddox.”
“But he really isn’t, he was tricked; the con artist was Maddox.”
“Oh, but he was a glass-blower, or something, I know, and her sister is a governess. I am sure it is no fault of mine! The parties I gave to get him and Jessie Douglas together! Donald was quite savage about the bills. And after all Uncle Colin went and caught cold, and would not come! I would not have minded half so much if it had been Jessie Douglas; but to have her at Gowanbrae—a glass-blower’s daughter—isn’t it too bad?”
“Oh, but he was a glassblower or something, I know, and her sister is a governess. I’m sure it’s not my fault! The events I organized to bring him and Jessie Douglas together! Donald was really upset about the expenses. And after all, Uncle Colin caught a cold and wouldn’t come! I wouldn’t have minded nearly as much if it had been Jessie Douglas; but having her at Gowanbrae—a glassblower’s daughter—don’t you think that’s just too bad?”
“Her father was a clergyman of a good Welsh family.”
“Her father was a minister from a respectable Welsh family.”
“Was he? Then her brother or somebody had something to do with glass.”
“Was he? Then her brother or someone had something to do with glass.”
Attempts at explanation were vain, the good lady had an incapacity of attention, and was resolved on her grievance. She went away at last because “those horrid doctors will be gone now, and I will be able to see poor papa, and tell him when I will take home the baby, though I don’t believe he will live to be taken anywhere, poor dear little man.”
Attempts to explain were useless; the kind lady couldn't focus and was set on her complaint. She eventually left because "those awful doctors will be gone now, and I'll be able to see poor dad and tell him when I can take the baby home, even though I don't think he'll live long enough to go anywhere, poor little guy."
She handled him go much more scientifically than Rachel could do, that it was quite humiliating, and yet to listen to her talk, and think of committing any child to her charge was sickening, and Rachel already felt a love and pity for her little charge that made her wretched at the thoughts of the prognostic about him.
She dealt with him in a much more scientific way than Rachel could, which was pretty humiliating. Yet, listening to her speak and imagining leaving any child in her care felt disturbing. Rachel already felt a love and compassion for her little charge that made her miserable at the thought of what could happen to him.
“You are tired with your visitors my dear,” said Mr. Clare, holding out his hand towards her, when she returned to him.
“You're exhausted from your guests, my dear,” said Mr. Clare, reaching out his hand to her when she came back to him.
“How do you know?” she asked.
“How do you know?” she asked.
“By the sound of your move across the room, and the stream of talk I heard above must be enough to exhaust any one.”
“Just from the sound of you moving around the room and the chatter I heard above, it must be exhausting for anyone.”
“She thinks badly of that poor child,” said Rachel, her voice trembling.
“She thinks poorly of that poor kid,” said Rachel, her voice shaking.
“My dear, it would take a good deal to make me uneasy about anything I heard in that voice.”
"My dear, it would take a lot to make me worried about anything I heard in that voice."
“And if he lives, she is to have the charge of him,” added Rachel.
“And if he survives, she will be in charge of him,” added Rachel.
“That is another matter on which I would suspend my fears,” said Mr. Clare. “Come out, and take a turn in the peacock path. You want air more than rest. So you have been talked to death.”
“That's another thing I’d put aside my worries about,” Mr. Clare said. “Come out and take a walk along the peacock path. You need fresh air more than rest. You've been talked at until you're exhausted.”
“And I am afraid she is gone to talk Alick to death! I wonder when Alick will come home,” she proceeded, as they entered on the path. “She says Colonel Keith had a telegram about the result of the trial, but she does not know what it was, nor indeed who was tried.”
“And I’m worried she’s going to talk Alick’s ear off! I wonder when Alick will be back home,” she said as they walked down the path. “She mentions that Colonel Keith got a telegram about the trial results, but she doesn’t know what it said, or even who was on trial.”
“Alick will not keep you in doubt longer than he can help,” said Mr. Clare.
“Alick won’t keep you in the dark any longer than he has to,” Mr. Clare said.
“You know all about it;” said Rachel. “The facts every one must know, but I mean that which led to them.”
“You know all about it,” said Rachel. “The facts everyone must know, but I’m talking about what led to them.”
“Alick told me you had suffered very much.”
“Alick told me you’ve been through a lot.”
“I don’t know whether it is a right question, but if it is, I should much like to know what Alick did say. I begged him to tell you all, or it would not have been fair towards you to bring me here.”
“I’m not sure if this is the right question, but if it is, I really want to know what Alick said. I asked him to tell you everything, or it wouldn’t have been fair to bring me here.”
“He told me that he knew you had been blind and wilful, but that your confidence had been cruelly abused, and you had been most unselfish throughout.”
“He said he knew you had been stubborn and willful, but that your trust had been badly mishandled, and you had been incredibly selfless the whole time.”
“I did not mean so much what I had done as what I am—what I was.”
“I wasn’t referring so much to what I’ve done as to who I am—who I was.”
“The first time he mentioned you, it was as one of the reasons that he wished to take our dear Bessie to Avonmouth. He said there was a girl there of a strong spirit, independent and thorough-going, and thinking for herself. He said, ‘to be sure, she generally thinks wrong, but there’s a candour and simplicity about her that make her wildest blunders better than parrot commonplace,’ and he thought your reality might impress his sister. Even then I gathered what was coming.”
“The first time he brought you up, it was one of the reasons he wanted to take our dear Bessie to Avonmouth. He mentioned a girl there with a strong spirit, someone independent and totally on her own path, who thinks for herself. He said, ‘sure, she usually thinks the wrong way, but there’s an honesty and straightforwardness in her that makes her craziest mistakes more worthwhile than bland clichés,’ and he believed your authenticity might leave an impact on his sister. Even then, I sensed what was coming.”
“And how wrong and foolish you must have thought it.”
“And how wrong and foolish you must have thought that.”
“I hoped I might trust my boy’s judgment.”
“I hoped I could trust my son’s judgment.”
“Indeed, you could not think it worse for him than I did; but I was ill and weak, and could not help letting Alick do what he would; but I have never understood it. I told him how unsettled my views were, and he did not seem to mind—”
“Honestly, you couldn’t possibly think it worse for him than I did; but I was sick and weak, and couldn’t stop Alick from doing whatever he wanted; but I’ve never understood it. I told him how uncertain my thoughts were, and he didn’t seem to care—”
“My dear, may I ask if this sense of being unsettled is with you still?”
“My dear, can I ask if you still feel this sense of being unsettled?”
“I don’t know! I had no power to read or think for a long time, and now, since I have been here, I hope it has not been hypocrisy, for going on in your way and his has been very sweet to me, and made me feel as I used when I was a young girl, with only an ugly dream between. I don’t like to look at it, and yet that dream was my real life that I made for myself.”
“I don’t know! I couldn’t read or think for a long time, and now, since I’ve been here, I hope it hasn’t been hypocritical, because following your path and his has been really nice for me, and it’s made me feel like I did when I was a young girl, with just an ugly dream in between. I don’t like to think about it, and yet that dream was the real life I created for myself.”
“Dear child, I have little doubt that Alick knew it would come to this.”
“Dear child, I have no doubt that Alick knew it would end up like this.”
Rachel paused. “What, you and he think a woman’s doubts so vague and shallow as to be always mastered by a husband’s influence?”
Rachel paused. “What, you both think a woman’s doubts are so vague and shallow that they can always be controlled by her husband’s influence?”
Mr. Clare was embarrassed. If he had thought so he had not expected her to make the inference. He asked her if she could venture to look back on her dream so as to mention what had chiefly distressed her. He could not see her frowning effort at recollection, but after a pause, she said, “Things will seem to you like trifles, indeed, individual criticisms appear so to me; but the difficulty to my mind is that I don’t see these objections fairly grappled with. There is either denunciation or weak argument; but I can better recollect the impression on my own mind than what made it.”
Mr. Clare was embarrassed. If he had thought that, he hadn’t expected her to draw that conclusion. He asked her if she could try to recall her dream and share what had upset her the most. He couldn't see her frowning as she struggled to remember, but after a moment, she said, “You might think these things are trivial; individual criticisms feel that way to me too. But the issue for me is that I don’t see these objections being addressed reasonably. It's either just condemnation or weak arguments; still, I can remember the impact on my mind better than the reasons behind it.”
“Yes, I know that feeling; but are you sure you have seen all the arguments?”
“Yes, I understand that feeling; but are you certain you’ve considered all the arguments?”
“I cannot tell—perhaps not. Whenever I get a book with anything in it, somebody says it is not sound.”
“I can't say—maybe not. Every time I get a book with something in it, someone says it's not reliable.”
“And you therefore conclude that a sound book can have nothing in it?” he asked, smiling.
“And you really believe that a good book can have nothing in it?” he asked, smiling.
“Well, most of the new ‘sound’ books that I have met are just what my mother and sister like—either dull, or sentimental and trashy.”
“Well, most of the new ‘sound’ books I’ve come across are just what my mom and sister enjoy—either boring or overly sentimental and junky.”
“Perhaps those that get into popular circulation do deserve some of your terms for them. Illogical replies break down and carry off some who have pinned their faith to them; but are you sure that though you have read much, you have read deep?”
“Maybe those that become popular really deserve some of your terms for them. Illogical responses can lead away and mislead some who have placed their trust in them; but are you certain that even though you’ve read a lot, you’ve read thoroughly?”
“I have read more deeply than any one I know—women, I mean—or than any man ever showed me he had read. Indeed, I am trying not to say it in conceit, but Ermine Williams does not read argumentative books, and gentlemen almost always make as if they knew nothing about them.”
“I have read more deeply than anyone I know—women, that is—or than any man has ever shown me he has read. Honestly, I’m trying not to sound conceited, but Ermine Williams doesn’t read argumentative books, and gentlemen usually act like they know nothing about them.”
“I think you may be of great use to me, my dear, if you will help me. The bishop has desired me to preach the next visitation sermon, and he wishes it to be on some of these subjects. Now, if you will help me with the book work, it will be very kind in you, and might serve to clear your mind about some of the details, though you must be prepared for some questions being unanswered.”
“I believe you could be very helpful to me, my dear, if you're willing to assist. The bishop has asked me to give the next visitation sermon, and he wants it to focus on some of these topics. If you could help me with the research, I'd really appreciate it, and it might help clarify some details for you, although you should be ready for some questions that may not have answers.”
“Best so,” replied Rachel, “I don’t like small answers to great questions.”
“Best so,” replied Rachel, “I don’t like brief answers to big questions.”
“Nor I. Only let us take care not to get absorbed in admiring the boldness that picks out stones to be stumbled over.”
“Not me either. Let’s just make sure we don’t get caught up in admiring the daring that chooses stones to trip over.”
“Do you object to my having read, and thought, and tried?”
“Do you have a problem with me having read, thought, and tried?”
“Certainly not. Those who have the capability should, if they feel disturbed, work out the argument. Nothing is gained while it is felt that both sides have not been heard. I do not myself believe that a humble, patient, earnest spirit can go far wrong, though it may for a time be tried, and people often cry out at the first stumbling block, and then feel committed to the exclamations they have made.”
“Of course not. Those who are capable should, if they feel upset, sort out the argument. Nothing is accomplished if it feels like both sides haven't been heard. I personally believe that a humble, patient, and sincere attitude won't go too far astray, though it may be tested for a time, and people often react loudly at the first obstacle, only to feel stuck with the outbursts they've made.”
The conversation was here ended by the sight of Alick coming slowly and wearily in from the churchyard, looking as if some fresh weight were upon him, and he soon told them that the doctors had pronounced that Lord Keith was in a critical state, and would probably have much to suffer from the formation that had begun where he had received the neglected bruise in the side. No word of censure of poor Bessie had been breathed, nor did Alick mention her name, but he deeply suffered under the fulfilment of his own predictions, and his subdued, dejected manner expressed far more than did his words. Rachel asked how Lord Keith seemed.
The conversation came to an end when they saw Alick coming back slowly and tiredly from the churchyard, looking like he was carrying some new burden. He soon informed them that the doctors had declared Lord Keith was in a critical condition and would likely face a lot of pain due to the issue that had developed from the neglected bruise on his side. No one uttered a word of blame towards poor Bessie, nor did Alick mention her name, but he was deeply affected by the reality of his own predictions, and his quiet, downcast demeanor conveyed much more than his words did. Rachel asked how Lord Keith was doing.
“Oh, there’s no getting at his feelings. He was very civil to me—asked after you, Rachel—told me to give you his thanks, but not a single word about anything nearer. Then I had to read the paper to him—all that dinner at Liverpool, and he made remarks, and expected me to know what it was about. I suppose he does feel; the Colonel says he is exceedingly cut up, and he looks like a man of eighty, infinitely worse than last time I saw him, but I don’t know what to make of him.”
“Oh, it’s impossible to understand his feelings. He was very polite to me—asked about you, Rachel—told me to give you his thanks, but not a single word about anything more personal. Then I had to read the paper to him—all that stuff about dinner in Liverpool, and he made comments, expecting me to understand what he meant. I guess he does have feelings; the Colonel says he’s really upset, and he looks like he’s aged twenty years, much worse than the last time I saw him, but I don’t know what to think of him.”
“And, Alick, did you hear the verdict?”
“And, Alick, did you hear the verdict?”
“What verdict?”
"What decision?"
“That man at Avoncester. Mrs. Menteith said there had been a telegram.”
“That guy at Avoncester. Mrs. Menteith said there was a telegram.”
Alick looked startled. “This has put everything out of my head!” he said. “What was the verdict?”
Alick looked surprised. “This has completely thrown me off!” he said. “What was the decision?”
“That was just what she could not tell. She did not quite know who was tried.”
“That was exactly what she couldn't explain. She wasn't really sure who was being tested.”
“And she came here and harassed you with it,” he said, looking at her anxiously. “As if you had not gone through enouqh already.”
“And she came here and bugged you about it,” he said, looking at her anxiously. “As if you hadn’t already been through enough.”
“Never mind that now. It seems so long ago now that I can hardly think much about it, and I have had another visitor,” she added, as Mr. Clare left them to themselves, “Mrs. Carleton—that poor son of hers is in such distress.”
“Forget about that for now. It feels like ages ago, and I can barely think about it, plus I’ve had another visitor,” she said, as Mr. Clare left them alone, “Mrs. Carleton—her poor son is in such trouble.”
“She has been palavering you over,” he said, in a tone more like displeasure than he had ever used towards her.
“She has been talking about you a lot,” he said, in a tone more like displeasure than he had ever used towards her.
“Indeed, Alick, if you would listen, you would find him very much to be pitied.”
“Seriously, Alick, if you’d just listen, you’d realize that he’s really someone to feel sorry for.”
“I only wish never to hear of any of them again.” He did not speak like himself, and Rachel was aghast.
“I just hope I never have to hear about any of them again.” He didn’t sound like himself, and Rachel was shocked.
“I thought you would not object to my letting her in,” she began.
“I thought you wouldn't mind me letting her in,” she started.
“I never said I did,” he answered; “I can never think of him but as having caused her death, and it was no thanks to him that there was nothing worse.”
“I never said I did,” he replied; “I can never think of him without blaming him for her death, and it's only by luck that things weren't worse.”
The sternness of his manner would have silenced Rachel but for her strong sense of truth and justice, which made her persevere in saying, “There may have been more excuse than you believe.”
The seriousness of his demeanor would have quieted Rachel if not for her strong sense of truth and justice, which compelled her to continue saying, “There might have been more justification than you think.”
“Do you suppose that is any satisfaction to me?” He walked decidedly away, and entered by the library window, and she stood grieved and wondering whether she had been wrong in pitying, or whether he were too harsh in his indignation. It was a sign that her tone and spirit had recovered, that she did not succumb in judgment, though she felt utterly puzzled and miserable till she recollected how unwell, weary, and unhappy he was, and that every fresh perception of his sister’s errors was like a poisoned arrow to him; and then she felt shocked at having obtruded the subject on him at all, and when she found him leaning back in his chair, spent and worn out, she waited on him in the quietest, gentlest way she could accomplish, and tried to show that she had put the subject entirely aside. However, when they were next alone together, he turned his face away and muttered, “What did that woman say to you?”
“Do you think that gives me any satisfaction?” He walked away decisively, entered through the library window, and she stood there, feeling hurt and wondering if she had been wrong to feel pity or if he was being too harsh in his anger. It was a good sign that her tone and spirit had improved since she didn’t lose her judgment, even though she felt completely confused and miserable until she remembered how unwell, tired, and unhappy he was. Each new realization of his sister’s mistakes hit him like a poisoned arrow; then she felt terrible for bringing the subject up with him at all. When she found him leaning back in his chair, exhausted and worn out, she attended to him in the quietest, gentlest way she could and tried to show that she had completely set the subject aside. However, when they were alone again, he turned his face away and muttered, “What did that woman say to you?”
“Oh, Alick, I am sorry I began! It only gives you pain.”
“Oh, Alick, I'm sorry I started this! It only causes you pain.”
“Go on—”
"Continue—"
She did go on till she had told all, and he uttered no word of comment. She longed to ask whether he disapproved of her having permitted the interview; but as he did not again recur to the topic, it was making a real and legitimate use of strength of mind to abstain from tearing him on the matter. Yet when she recollected what worldly honour would once have exacted of a military man, and the conflicts between religion and public opinion, she felt thankful indeed that half a century lay between her and that terrible code, and even as it was, perceiving the strong hold that just resentment had taken on her husband’s silently determined nature, she could not think of the neighbourhood of the Carleton family without dread.
She went on until she had shared everything, and he didn’t say a word in response. She wanted to ask if he disapproved of her allowing the meeting; but since he didn’t bring it up again, it was truly a testament to her mental strength to avoid pressing him on the issue. Yet when she thought about what societal honor would have demanded from a military man back then, and the struggles between faith and public opinion, she felt incredibly grateful that a hundred years separated her from that harsh code. Even so, realizing how much strong resentment had taken hold of her husband’s quietly determined nature, she couldn’t help but feel anxious about being near the Carleton family.
CHAPTER XXVII. THE POST BAG.
“Thefts, like ivy on a ruin, make the rifts they seem to shade.”— C. G. DUFFY.
“Thefts, like ivy on a ruin, create the gaps they appear to cover.” — C. G. DUFFY.
“August 3d, 7 A. M.
August 3, 7 AM.
“My Dear Colonel Keith,—Papa is come, and I have got up so early in the morning that I have nothing to do but to write to you before we go in to Avoncester. Papa and Mr. Beechum came by the six o’clock train, and Lady Temple sent me in the waggonette to meet them. Aunt Ailie would not go, because she was afraid Aunt Ermine would get anxious whilst she was waiting. I saw papa directly, and yet I did not think it could be papa, because you were not there, and he looked quite past me, and I do not think he would have found me or the carriage at all if Mr. Beechum had not known me. And then, I am afraid I was very naughty, but I could not help crying just a little when I found you had not come; but perhaps Lady Keith may be better, and you may come before I go into court to-day, and then I shall tear up this letter. I am afraid papa thought I was unkind to cry when he was just come home, for he did not talk to me near so much as Mr. Beechum did, and his eyes kept looking out as if he did not see anything near, only quite far away. And I suppose Russian coats must be made of some sort of sheep that eats tobacco.”
“My Dear Colonel Keith,—Dad is here, and I got up so early this morning that I have nothing to do but write to you before we head into Avoncester. Dad and Mr. Beechum arrived on the six o’clock train, and Lady Temple sent me in the wagonette to meet them. Aunt Ailie didn’t want to go because she was worried Aunt Ermine would get anxious while waiting. I saw Dad right away, but I didn’t think it could be him because you weren’t there, and he looked right past me. Honestly, I don’t think he would have found me or the carriage at all if Mr. Beechum hadn’t recognized me. Then, I’m afraid I was a bit naughty, but I couldn’t help shedding a few tears when I realized you hadn’t come; but maybe Lady Keith is feeling better, and you’ll arrive before I go to court today, and then I’ll tear up this letter. I worry that Dad thought I was unkind to cry just when he got home, because he didn’t talk to me nearly as much as Mr. Beechum did, and his eyes kept looking out as if he wasn’t seeing anything nearby, only far away. And I guess Russian coats must be made from a type of sheep that eats tobacco.”
“August 3d, 10 A. M.
August 3, 10 AM
“Dearest Colin,—I have just lighted on poor little Rosie’s before-breakfast composition, and I can’t refrain from sending you her first impressions, poor child, though no doubt they will alter, as she sees more of her father. All are gone to Avoncester now, though with some doubts whether this be indeed the critical day; I hope it may be, the sooner this is over the better, but I am full of hope. I cannot believe but that the Providence that has done so much to discover Edward’s innocence to the world, will finish the work! I have little expectation though of your coming down in time to see it, the copy of the telegraphic message, which you sent by Harry, looks as bad as possible, and even allowing something for inexperience and fright, things must be in a state in which you could hardly leave your brother, so unwell as he seems.
“Dear Colin,—I just came across poor little Rosie’s before-breakfast essay, and I can't help but share her first impressions, poor thing, even though they’ll probably change as she gets to know her father better. Everyone has gone to Avoncester now, although there are some doubts about whether this is really the big day; I hope it is—the sooner this is done, the better. But I'm feeling hopeful. I can’t believe that the same Providence that has done so much to reveal Edward’s innocence to the world will not see this through! I don’t expect you’ll be able to come down in time to witness it; the copy of the telegram you sent with Harry looks terrible, and even considering the nerves and panic, it must be such a mess that you can hardly leave your brother, especially seeing how unwell he seems.”
“2 p.m. I was interrupted by Lady Temple, who was soon followed by Mrs. Curtis, burning to know whether I had any more intelligence than had floated to them. Pray, if you can say anything to exonerate poor Rachel from mismanagement, say it strongly; her best friends are so engaged in wishing themselves there, and pitying poor Bessie for being in her charge, that I long to confute them, for I fully believe in her sense and spirit in any real emergency that she had not ridden out to encounter.
“2 p.m. I was interrupted by Lady Temple, who was soon followed by Mrs. Curtis, eager to know if I had any more information than what they had heard. Please, if you can say anything to defend poor Rachel from being mishandled, say it clearly; her closest friends are so focused on wishing they were there and feeling sorry for poor Bessie under her care, that I really want to challenge them because I truly believe in her common sense and determination in any real crisis she hadn't set out to face.”
“And I have written so far without a word on the great subject of all, the joy untold for which our hearts had ached so long, and which we owe entirely to you, for Edward owns that nothing but your personal representations would have brought him, and, as I suppose you already know—he so much hated the whole subject of Maddox’s treachery that he had flung aside, unread, all that he saw related to it. Dear Colin, whatever else you have done, you have filled a famished heart. Could you but have seen Ailie’s face all last evening as she sat by his side, you would have felt your reward—it was as if the worn, anxious, almost stern mask had been taken away, and our Ailie’s face was beaming out as of old when she was the family pet, before Julia took her away to be finished. She sees no change; she is in an ecstasy of glamour that makes her constantly repeat her rejoicings that Edward is so much himself, so unchanged, till I almost feel unsisterly for seeing in him the traces that these sad years have left, and that poor little Rose herself has detected. No, he is not so much changed as exaggerated. The living to himself, and with so cruel a past, has greatly increased the old dreaminess that we always tried to combat, and he seems less able than before to turn his mind into any channel but the one immediately before him. He is most loving when roused, but infinitely more inclined to fall off into a muse. I am afraid you must have had a troublesome charge in him, judging by the uproar Harry makes about the difficulty of getting him safe from Paddington. It is good to see him and Harry together—the old schoolboy ways are so renewed, all bitterness so entirely forgotten, only Harry rages a little that he is not more wrapped up in Rose. To say the truth, so do I; but if it were not for Harry’s feeling the same, I should believe that you had taught me to be exacting about my rosebud. Partly, it is that he is disappointed that she is not like her mother; he had made up his mind to another Lucy, and her Williams face took him by surprise, and, partly, he is not a man to adapt himself to a child. She must be trained to help unobtrusively in his occupations; the unknowing little plaything her mother was, she never can be. I am afraid he will never adapt himself to English life again—his soul seems to be in his mines, and if as you say he is happy and valued there—though it is folly to look forward to the wrench again, instead of rejoicing in the present, gladness; but often as I had fashioned that arrival in my fancy, it was never that Harry’s voice, not yours, should say the ‘Here he is.’
“And I have written this far without mentioning the most important subject of all, the unimaginable joy that our hearts have yearned for so long, and which we owe completely to you. Edward admits that nothing but your personal urging could have brought him back, and as you probably already know, he despised the entire topic of Maddox’s betrayal so much that he tossed aside everything related to it without even reading it. Dear Colin, whatever else you have done, you have satisfied a starving heart. If you could have seen Ailie’s face last evening while she sat by his side, you would have felt your reward—it was as if the tired, worried, almost harsh expression had been lifted, and our Ailie’s face was shining just like before when she was the family favorite, before Julia took her away to polish her up. She sees no change; she is in an ecstatic daze, constantly repeating how delighted she is that Edward is so much himself, so unchanged, that I almost feel ungrateful for noticing the signs of the tough years they've both been through, which even poor little Rose has picked up on. No, he hasn’t changed so much as he has become more intense. Living in isolation with such a painful past has greatly amplified the old dreaminess we always tried to fight against, and he seems less capable than before of directing his thoughts anywhere but at what’s right in front of him. He is very affectionate when he's engaged, but infinitely more likely to drift off into deep thought. I fear you must have had a difficult time managing him, especially considering the noise Harry has been making about how hard it is to get him safely from Paddington. It’s good to see him and Harry together—the old schoolboy habits have all come back, all bitterness completely forgotten, though Harry is a bit annoyed that Edward isn’t more focused on Rose. To be honest, I feel the same, but if it weren’t for Harry feeling the same way, I’d believe you’ve taught me to be demanding about my rosebud. Partly it’s because he is disappointed that she isn’t like her mother; he had imagined another Lucy, and her Williams face caught him off guard, and partly he isn’t the type to easily bond with a child. She needs to be trained to subtly assist him in his tasks; she can never be the naive little plaything her mother was. I’m afraid he will never fully readapt to English life again—his spirit seems to be back in his mines, and if, as you say, he is happy and appreciated there—though it's foolish to dwell on the past instead of enjoying the present—it’s still hard to shake the fantasy I had built in my mind about his arrival; it was never meant to be that Harry’s voice, not yours, would say the ‘Here he is.’”
“They all went this morning in the waggonette, and the two boys with Miss Curtis in the carriage. Lady Temple is very kind in coming in and out to enliven me. I am afraid I must close and send this before their return. What a day it is! And how are you passing it? I fear, even at the best, in much anxiety. Lady Temple asks to put in a line.—Yours ever, E. W.”
“They all went out this morning in the wagon, and the two boys are with Miss Curtis in the car. Lady Temple is really sweet for coming in and out to keep me company. I’m afraid I have to wrap this up and send it before they get back. What a day it is! How are you spending it? I worry it’s filled with anxiety, even at its best. Lady Temple wants me to add a line.—Yours always, E. W.”
“August 3d, 5 P. M.
“August 3, 5 PM.”
“My Dear Colonel,—This is just to tell you that dear Ermine is very well, and bearing the excitement and suspense wonderfully. We were all dreadfully shocked to hear about poor dear Bessie; it is so sad her having no mother nor any one but Rachel to take care of her, though Rachel would do her best, I know. If she would like to have me, or if you think I could do any good, pray telegraph for me the instant you get this letter. I would have come this morning, only I thought, perhaps, she had her aunt. That stupid telegram never said whether her baby was alive, or what it was, I do hope it is all right. I should like to send nurse up at once—I always thought she saved little Cyril when he was so ill. Pray send for nurse or me, or anything I can send: anyway, I know nobody can be such a comfort as you; but the only thing there is to wish about you is, that you could be in two places at once.
“My Dear Colonel,—I just wanted to let you know that dear Ermine is doing really well and is handling the excitement and suspense amazingly. We were all terribly shocked to hear about poor Bessie; it’s so sad that she has no mother and only Rachel to take care of her, although I know Rachel will try her best. If Ermine would like me to be there, or if you think I could be of any help, please telegraph me as soon as you get this letter. I would have come this morning, but I thought maybe she had her aunt with her. That silly telegram didn’t say whether her baby was alive or what it was; I really hope everything is okay. I’d like to send the nurse up right away—I always thought she saved little Cyril when he was really ill. Please call for the nurse or for me, or anything else I can send; either way, I know no one can be as comforting as you are; but the only wish I have for you is that you could be in two places at once.”
“The two boys are gone in to the trial, they were very eager about it; and dear Grace promises to take care of Conrade’s throat. Poor boys! they had got up a triumphal arch for your return, but I am afraid I am telling secrets. Dear Ermine is so good and resolutely composed—quite an example.—Yours affectionately,
“The two boys have gone into the trial, and they were really excited about it; dear Grace promised to take care of Conrade’s throat. Poor boys! They had set up a triumphal arch for your return, but I think I’m sharing secrets. Dear Ermine is so kind and calmly composed—what a great example.—Yours affectionately,
“F. G. Temple.”
“F. G. Temple.”
“Avoncester, August 3d, 2 P. M.
Avoncester, August 3, 2 PM.
“My Dear Colonel Keith,—I am just come out of court, and I am to wait at the inn, for Aunt Ailie does not like for me to hear the trial, but she says I may write to you to pass away the time. I am sorry I left my letter out to go this morning, for Aunt Ailie says it is very undutiful to say anything about the sheep’s wool in Russia smelling of tobacco. Conrade says it is all smoking, and that every one does it who has seen the world. Papa never stops smoking but when he is with Aunt Ermine, he sat on the box and did it all the way to Avoncester, and Mr. Beechum said it was to compose his mind. After we got to Avoncester we had a long, long time to wait, and first one was called, and then another, and then they wanted me. I was not nearly so frightened as I was that time when you sent for me, though there were so many more people; but it was daylight, and the judge looked so kind, and the lawyer spoke so gently to me, and Mr. Maddox did not look horrid like that first time. I think he must be sorry now he has seen how much he has hurt papa. The lawyer asked me all about the noises, and the lions, and the letters of light, just as Mr. Grey did; and they showed me papa’s old seal ring, and asked if I knew it, and a seal that was made with the new one that he got when the other was lost! and I knew them because I used to make impressions on my arms with them when I was a little girl. There was another lawyer that asked how old I was, and why I had not told before; and I thought he was going to laugh at me for a silly little girl, but the judge would not let him, and said I was a clear-headed little maiden; and Mr. Beechum came with Aunt Ailie, and took me out of court, and told me to choose anything in the whole world he should give me, so I chose the little writing case I am writing with now, and ‘The Heroes’ besides, so I shall be able to read till the others come back, and we go home.—Your affectionate little friend,
"My Dear Colonel Keith,—I just got out of court, and I’m waiting at the inn because Aunt Ailie doesn’t want me to hear the trial, but she said I could write to you to pass the time. I regret leaving my letter to be sent this morning because Aunt Ailie says it’s very disrespectful to mention that the sheep’s wool in Russia smells like tobacco. Conrade says everyone smokes if they’ve seen the world. Dad smokes all the time except when he's with Aunt Ermine; he smoked the whole way to Avoncester, and Mr. Beechum said it was to calm his mind. Once we got to Avoncester, we had to wait a long time, with one person called after another, and then they wanted me. I wasn’t nearly as scared as I was the last time you called for me, even though there were a lot more people; but it was daytime, and the judge looked really kind, and the lawyer spoke to me gently, and Mr. Maddox didn’t look so horrible like he did that first time. I think he must feel bad now that he sees how much he’s hurt Dad. The lawyer asked me all about the noises, and the lions, and the lights, just like Mr. Grey did; and they showed me Dad’s old seal ring and asked if I recognized it, along with a seal made with the new one he got when the other was lost! I knew them because I used to make impressions on my arms with them when I was little. Another lawyer asked how old I was and why I hadn’t said anything before; I thought he was going to laugh at me for being a silly girl, but the judge stopped him and said I was a clear-headed little maiden. Then Mr. Beechum came with Aunt Ailie, took me out of court, and told me to choose anything in the whole world that he would give me, so I picked the little writing case I’m using now, and 'The Heroes' too, so I can read until the others come back, and we go home.—Your affectionate little friend,
“Rose Ermine Williams.”
“Rose Ermine Williams.”
“The Homestead, August 3d, 9 P. M.
“The Homestead, August 3rd, 9 PM.
“My Dear Alexander,—You made me promise to send you the full account of this day’s proceedings, or I do not think I should attempt it, when you may be so sadly engaged. Indeed, I should hardly have gone to Avoncester had the sad intelligence reached me before I had set out, when I thought my sudden return would be a greater alarm to my mother, and I knew that dear Fanny would do all she could for her. Still she has had a very nervous day, thinking constantly of your dear sister, and of Rachel’s alarm and inexperience; but her unlimited confidence in your care of Rachel is some comfort, and I am hoping that the alarm may have subsided, and you may be all rejoicing. I have always thought that, with dear Rachel, some new event or sensation would most efface the terrible memories of last spring. My mother is now taking her evening nap, and I am using the time for telling you of the day’s doings. I took with me Fanny’s two eldest, who were very good and manageable, and we met Mr. Grey, who put us in very good places, and told us the case was just coming on. You will see the report in detail in the paper, so I will only try to give you what you would not find there. I should tell you that Maddox has entirely dropped his alias. Mr. Grey is convinced that was only a bold stroke to gain time and prevent the committal, so as to be able to escape, and that he ‘reckoned upon bullying a dense old country magistrate;’ but that he knew it was quite untenable before a body of unexceptionable witnesses. Altogether the man looked greatly altered and crest-fallen, and there was a meanness and vulgarity in his appearance that made me wonder at our ever having credited his account of himself. He had an abject look, very unlike his confident manner at the sessions, nor did he attempt his own defence. Mr. Grey kept on saying he must know that he had not a leg to stand upon.
“My Dear Alexander,—You made me promise to send you the full account of today’s events, or I probably wouldn’t even try, given how busy you are. Honestly, I wouldn’t have gone to Avoncester if I had heard the sad news before I left, as I thought my sudden return would alarm my mother more, and I knew dear Fanny would do everything she could for her. Still, she had a very anxious day, constantly worrying about your dear sister and Rachel’s panic and lack of experience; but her complete trust in your care of Rachel is somewhat comforting, and I hope the worry has eased and that you all are now celebrating. I’ve always believed that with dear Rachel, a new event or experience would help erase the terrible memories from last spring. My mother is currently taking her evening nap, and I’m using this time to let you know about the day’s happenings. I brought along Fanny’s two oldest kids, who were very well-behaved, and we bumped into Mr. Grey, who got us great seats and told us the case was just about to start. You’ll see the detailed report in the paper, so I’ll just share what you won’t find there. I should mention that Maddox has completely dropped his alias. Mr. Grey believes that was just a desperate move to buy time and avoid being committed so he could escape, thinking he could intimidate a clueless old country magistrate; but he knew it was an unwinnable argument in front of a group of reliable witnesses. Overall, the man looked extremely different and defeated, with a petty and vulgar look that made me question how we ever believed his story. He had a miserable look, very unlike his confident demeanor at the sessions, and he didn’t even attempt to defend himself. Mr. Grey kept saying he must realize he had no case at all.”
“The counsel for the prosecution told the whole story, and it was very touching. I had never known the whole before; the sisters are so resolute and uncomplaining: but how they must have suffered when every one thought them ruined by their brother’s fraud! I grieve to think how we neglected them, and only noticed them when it suited our convenience. Then he called Mr. Beechum, and you will understand better than I can all about the concern in which they were embarked, and Maddox coming to him for an advance of £300, giving him a note from Mr. Williams, asking for it to carry out an invention. The order for the sum was put into Maddox’s hands, and the banker proved the paying it to him by an order on a German bank.
“The lawyer for the prosecution shared the entire story, and it was really moving. I had never known the full details before; the sisters are so determined and accepting: but they must have gone through so much when everyone believed they were ruined by their brother’s deception! I regret how we ignored them, only paying attention when it was convenient for us. Then he brought in Mr. Beechum, and you’ll understand better than I can about the business they were involved in, and Maddox approaching him for an advance of £300, providing a note from Mr. Williams, requesting the funds to support an invention. The order for the amount was handed to Maddox, and the banker verified the payment to him with an order from a German bank.”
“Then came Mr. Williams. I had seen him for a moment in setting out, and was struck with his strange, lost, dreamy look. There is something very haggard and mournful in his countenance; and, though he has naturally the same fine features as his eldest sister, his cheeks are hollow, his eyes almost glassy, and his beard, which is longer than the Colonel’s, very grey. He gave me the notion of the wreck of a man, stunned and crushed, and never thoroughly alive again; but when he stood in the witness-box, face to face with the traitor, he was very different; he lifted up his head, his eyes brightened, his voice became clear, and his language terse and concentrated, so that I could believe in his having been the very able man he was described to be. I am sure Maddox must have quailed under his glance, there was something so loftily innocent in it, yet so wistful, as much as to say, ‘how could you abuse my perfect confidence?’ Mr. Williams denied having received the money, written the letter, or even thought of making the request. They showed him the impression of two seals. He said one was made with a seal-ring given him by Colonel Keith, and lost some time before he went abroad; the other, with one with which he had replaced it, and which he produced,—he had always worn it on his finger. They matched exactly with the impressions; and there was a little difference in the hair of the head upon the seal that was evident to every one. It amused the boys extremely to see some of the old jurymen peering at them with their glasses. He was asked where he was on the 7th of September (the date of the letter), and he referred to some notes of his own, which enabled him to state that on the 6th he had come back to Prague from a village with a horrible Bohemian name—all cs and zs—which I will not attempt to write, though much depended on the number of the said letters.
“Then Mr. Williams walked in. I had caught a glimpse of him earlier, and his strange, lost, dreamy expression really struck me. He looked haggard and sad; even though he shares the same fine features as his oldest sister, his cheeks were sunken, his eyes almost glassy, and his beard, which was longer than the Colonel’s, was very gray. He gave off the impression of a man who was a shadow of himself, stunned and crushed, never fully alive again. But when he stood in the witness box facing the traitor, he transformed. He lifted his head, his eyes lit up, his voice became clear, and his speech was sharp and focused, making me believe he was indeed the very capable man everyone said he was. I’m sure Maddox must have shrunk under his gaze; there was something so nobly innocent about it, yet so full of longing, as if to say, ‘how could you betray my complete trust?’ Mr. Williams denied ever having received the money, written the letter, or even considered making the request. They showed him the impressions of two seals. He stated that one was made with a seal ring given to him by Colonel Keith, which he lost some time before traveling abroad; the other was one he had replaced it with, which he produced—he had always worn it on his finger. They matched perfectly with the impressions, and there was a small difference in the hair of the head on the seal that everyone could see. The boys found it hilarious to watch some of the old jurymen peer at them through their glasses. When asked where he was on September 7th (the date on the letter), he referred to some notes he had that allowed him to say he returned to Prague from a village with a horrible Bohemian name—all cs and zs—which I won’t even try to spell, although a lot depended on the exact number of those letters.”
“The rest of the examination must have been very distressing, for Maddox’s counsel pushed him hard about his reasons for not returning to defend himself, and he was obliged to tell how ill his wife was, and how terrified; and they endeavoured to make that into an admission that he thought himself liable. They tried him with bits of the handwriting, and he could not always tell which were his own;—but I think every one must have been struck with his honourable scrupulosity in explaining every doubt he had.
“The rest of the examination must have been very distressing, as Maddox’s lawyer pressed him hard about why he didn’t return to defend himself. He had to explain how sick his wife was and how scared she was; they tried to twist that into an admission that he felt guilty. They showed him samples of handwriting, and he couldn’t always tell which ones were his; but I think everyone must have noticed his honorable conscientiousness in clarifying every doubt he had.”
“Other people were called in about the writing, but Alison Williams was the clearest of all. She was never puzzled by any scrap they showed her, and, moreover, she told of Maddox having sent for her brother’s address, and her having copied it from a letter of Mrs. Williams’s, which she produced, with the wrong spelling, just as it was in the forgery. The next day had come a letter from the brother, which she showed, saying that they were going to leave the place sooner than they had intended, and spelling it right. She gave the same account of the seals, and nothing ever seemed to disconcert her. My boys were so much excited about their ‘own Miss Williams,’ that I was quite afraid they would explode into a cheer.
“Other people were called in about the writing, but Alison Williams was the clearest of all. She was never confused by any scrap they showed her, and she also mentioned that Maddox had asked for her brother’s address, which she copied from a letter from Mrs. Williams, that she produced, with the spelling mistakes, just like in the forgery. The next day, she received a letter from her brother, which she showed, saying they were going to leave the place sooner than they had planned, and spelled it correctly. She gave the same account of the seals, and nothing ever seemed to shake her. My boys were so excited about their ‘own Miss Williams’ that I was really afraid they would burst into a cheer.”
“That poor woman whom we used to call Mrs. Rawlins told her sad story next. She is much worn and subdued, and Mr. Grey was struck with the change from the fierce excitement she showed when she was first confronted with Maddox, after her own trial; but she held fast to the same evidence, giving it not resentfully, but sadly and firmly, as if she felt it to be her duty. She, as you know, explained how Maddox had obtained access to Mr. Williams’s private papers, and how she had, afterwards, found in his possession the seal ring, and the scraps of paper in his patron’s writing. A policeman produced them, and the seal perfectly filled the wax upon the forged letter. The bits of paper showed that Maddox had been practising imitating Mr. Williams’s writing. It all seemed most distinct, but still there was some sharp cross-examination of her on her own part in the matter, and Mr. Grey said it was well that little Rose could so exactly confirm the facts she mentioned.
“That poor woman we used to call Mrs. Rawlins shared her sad story next. She looked worn out and subdued, and Mr. Grey noticed the difference from the intense excitement she had shown when she first faced Maddox after her own trial; but she stuck to the same evidence, not with resentment, but sadly and firmly, as if she felt it was her duty. As you know, she explained how Maddox had gotten access to Mr. Williams’s private papers, and how she later discovered the seal ring and the pieces of paper in his patron’s handwriting. A policeman presented them, and the seal perfectly matched the wax on the forged letter. The scraps of paper showed that Maddox had been practicing imitating Mr. Williams’s handwriting. Everything seemed very clear, but there was still some tough cross-examination of her on her own part in the situation, and Mr. Grey remarked that it was good that little Rose could accurately confirm the details she mentioned.”
“Poor, dear little Rose looked very sweet and innocent, and not so much frightened as at her first examination. She told her story of the savage way in which she had been frightened into silence. Half the people in the court were crying, and I am sure it was a mercy that she was not driven out of her senses, or even murdered that night. It seems that she was sent to bed early, but the wretches knowing that she always woke and talked while her mother was going to bed, the phosphoric letters were prepared to frighten her, and detain her in her room, and then Maddox growled at her when she tried to pass the door. She was asked how she knew the growl to be Maddox’s, and she answered that she heard him cough. Rachel will, I am sure, remember the sound of that little dry cough. Nothing could make it clearer than that the woman had spoken the truth. The child identified the two seals with great readiness, and then was sent back to the inn that she might not be perplexed with hearing the defence. This, of course, was very trying to us all, since the best the counsel could do for his client was to try to pick holes in the evidence, and make the most of the general acquiescence in Mr. Williams’s guilt for all these years. He brought forward letters that showed that Mr. Williams had been very sanguine about the project, and had written about the possibility that an advance might be needed. Some of the letters, which both Mr. Williams and his sister owned to be in his own writing, spoke in most flourishing terms of his plans; and it was proved by documents and witnesses that the affairs were in such a state that bankruptcy was inevitable, so that there was every motive for securing a sum to live upon. It was very miserable all the time this was going on, the whole interpretation, of Mr. Williams’s conduct seemed to be so cruelly twisted aside, and it was what every one had all along believed, his absence was made so much of, and all these little circumstances that had seemed so important were held so cheap—one knew it was only the counsel’s representation, and yet Alison grew whiter and whiter under it. I wish you could have heard the reply: drawing the picture of the student’s absorption and generous confidence, and his agent’s treachery, creeping into his household, and brutally playing on the terrors of his child.
“Poor, sweet little Rose looked very innocent and not as scared as she had been during her first questioning. She shared her story about the horrifying way she was frightened into silence. Half the people in the courtroom were in tears, and it truly was a relief that she didn’t lose her mind or even get killed that night. Apparently, she was sent to bed early, but the cruel people knew she always woke up and talked while her mother was getting ready for bed. They set up the glowing letters to scare her and keep her in her room, and then Maddox growled at her when she tried to leave. When asked how she recognized the growl as Maddox's, she replied that she heard him cough. Rachel will surely remember the sound of that little dry cough. Nothing could prove more clearly that the woman was telling the truth. The child easily identified the two seals and was then sent back to the inn to avoid being confused by the defense. This was very hard for all of us, as the best the lawyer could do for his client was to try to poke holes in the evidence and make the most of the general belief in Mr. Williams's guilt over the years. He presented letters that showed Mr. Williams had been very optimistic about the project and had mentioned the possibility of needing an advance. Some of the letters, which both Mr. Williams and his sister admitted were in his handwriting, spoke in very grand terms about his plans; it was proven by documents and witnesses that the situation was such that bankruptcy was unavoidable, meaning there was every reason for him to secure funds to live on. It was very miserable while all of this was happening; the entire interpretation of Mr. Williams's actions seemed so cruelly distorted, and it was what everyone had always believed; his absence was emphasized so much, and all those little details that had seemed so significant were dismissed—everyone knew it was just the lawyer's portrayal, yet Alison grew paler and paler under it. I wish you could have heard the response: painting the picture of the student's dedication and generous trust, and his agent's betrayal, sneaking into his home and ruthlessly preying on the fears of his child."
“Well, I cannot tell you all, but the judge summed up strongly for a conviction, though he said a good deal about culpable negligence almost inviting fraud, and I fear it must have been very distressing to the Williamses, but the end was that Maddox was found guilty, and sentenced to fourteen years’ penal servitude, though I am afraid they will not follow Conrade’s suggestion, and chain up a lion by his bed every night of his life.
“Well, I can’t share everything, but the judge made a strong case for a conviction, even though he talked a lot about how culpable negligence can almost encourage fraud. I worry it must have been really upsetting for the Williamses, but in the end, Maddox was found guilty and sentenced to fourteen years of hard labor. Unfortunately, I doubt they'll take Conrade's suggestion to chain a lion by his bed every night for the rest of his life.”
“We were very happy when we met at the inn, and all shook hands. Dr. Long was, I think, the least at ease. He had come in case this indictment had in any way failed, to bring his own matter forward, so that Maddox should not get off. I do not like him very much, he seemed unable to be really hearty, and I think he must have once been harsh and now ashamed of it. Then he was displeased at Colonel Keith’s absence, and could hardly conceal how much he was put out by the cause, as if he thought the Colonel had imposed himself on the family as next heir. I hardly know how to send all this in the present state of things, but I believe you will wish to have it, and will judge how much Rachel will bear to hear. Good night.—Your affectionate Sister,
“We were really happy when we met at the inn, and everyone shook hands. Dr. Long seemed to be the most uncomfortable. He had come in case this indictment had somehow failed, to bring his own case forward so that Maddox wouldn't get off. I don't like him very much; he seemed unable to be truly friendly, and I think he must have been harsh in the past and is now ashamed of it. Then he was annoyed at Colonel Keith’s absence and could hardly hide how upset he was about it, as if he thought the Colonel had imposed himself on the family as the next heir. I’m not sure how to send all of this given the current situation, but I think you'll want to know, and you’ll know how much Rachel can handle. Good night.—Your affectionate Sister,
“Grace Curtis.”
“Grace Curtis.”
“Gowanbrae, Avonmouth, August 3d, 11 P. M.
“Gowanbrae, Avonmouth, August 3rd, 11 PM.
“Dear Keith,—Before this day has ended you must have a few lines from the man whom your exertions have relieved from a stigma, the full misery of which I only know by the comfort of its removal. I told you there was much that could never be restored. I feel this all the more in the presence of all that now remains to me, but I did not know how much could still be given back. The oppression of the load of suspicion under which I laboured now seems to me to have been intolerable since I have been freed from it. I cannot describe how changed a man I have felt, since Beechum shook hands with me. The full blackness of Maddox’s treachery I had not known, far less his cruelty to my child. Had I been aware of all I could not have refrained from trying to bring him to justice; but there is no need to enter into the past. It is enough that I owe to you a freed spirit, and new life, and that my gratitude is not lessened by the knowledge that something besides friendship urged you. Ermine is indeed as attractive as ever, and has improved in health far more than I durst expect. I suppose it is your all-powerful influence. You are first with all here, as you well deserve, even my child, who is as lovely and intelligent as you told me, has every thought pervaded with ‘the Colonel.’ She is a sweet creature; but there was one who will never be retraced, and forgive me, Keith, without her, even triumph must be bitterness.—Still ever most gratefully yours,
“Dear Keith,—Before this day ends, you need to hear from the man you’ve helped free from a huge burden, the full weight of which I only understand now that it's gone. I mentioned that some things could never be restored. I feel that more intensely now, with everything that remains in my life, but I didn’t realize how much could still be returned. The overwhelming suspicion I lived under feels unbearable now that I’ve been freed from it. I can’t explain how much of a changed person I’ve felt since Beechum shook my hand. I hadn’t fully grasped the extent of Maddox’s betrayal, or his cruelty toward my child. If I had known everything, I wouldn’t have been able to resist pursuing justice against him; but there's no need to dwell on the past. What matters is that I owe you my newfound freedom and life, and my gratitude isn’t diminished by knowing there was more than just friendship motivating you. Ermine is just as charming as ever, and her health has improved more than I dared hope. I can only assume it’s your incredible influence. You’re the top priority for everyone here, as you rightfully should be. Even my child, who is as lovely and bright as you said, has every thought influenced by ‘the Colonel.’ She’s a delightful person; but there’s one who can never be replaced, and forgive me, Keith, without her, even success feels bitter.—Still ever most gratefully yours,
“Edward Williams.”
“Ed Williams.”
“August 3d, 11 P. M.
August 3, 11 PM.
“Dearest Colin,—The one sound in my ears, the one song in my heart is, ‘Let them give thanks.’ It is as if we had passed from a dungeon into sunshine. I suppose it would be too much if you were here to share it. They sent Rose in first to tell me, but I knew in the sound of their wheels that all was well. What an evening we have had, but I must not write more. Ailie is watching me like a dragon, and will not rest till I am in bed; but I can’t tell how to lose one minute of gladness in sleep. Oh, Colin, Colin, truest of all true knights, what an achievement yours has been!”
“Dear Colin,—The only sound in my ears, the only song in my heart is, ‘Let them give thanks.’ It feels like we’ve gone from a dungeon into sunshine. I guess it would be too much to hope you were here to share it. They sent Rose in first to tell me, but I knew from the sound of their wheels that everything was okay. What an evening we’ve had, but I shouldn’t write more. Ailie is watching me like a hawk and won’t rest until I’m in bed; but I can’t bear to waste a moment of joy on sleep. Oh, Colin, Colin, truest of all true knights, what an achievement yours has been!”
“August 4th.
August 4.
“That was a crazy bit that I wrote last night, but I will not make away with it. I don’t care how crazy you think me. It would have been a pity not to have slept to wake to the knowledge that all was not a dream, but then came the contrast with the sorrow you are watching. And I have just had your letter. What a sudden close to that joyous life! She was one of the most winning beings, as you truly say, that ever flashed across one’s course, and if she had faults, they were those of her day and her training. I suppose, by what you say, that she was too girlish to be all the companion your brother required, and that this may account for his being more shocked than sorrow-stricken, and his child, since he can dwell on the thought, is such a new beginning of hope, that I wonder less than you do at his bearing up so well. Besides, pain dulls the feelings, and is a great occupation. I wish you could have seen that dear Bessie, but I gather that the end came on much more rapidly than had been expected. It seemed as if she were one of those to whom even suffering was strangely lightened and shortened, as if she had met only the flowers of life, and even the thorns and stings were almost lost in their bright blossoms. And she could hardly have lived on without much either of temptation or sorrow. I am glad of your testimony to Rachel’s effectiveness, I wrote it out and sent it up to the Homestead. There was a note this morning requesting Edward to come in to see Maddox, and Ailie is gone with him, thinking she may get leave to see poor Maria. Think of writing ‘Edward and Ailie again! Dr. Long and Harry are gone with them. The broken thread is better pieced by Harry than by the Doctor; but he wants Ailie and me to go and stay at Belfast. Now I must hear Rose read, in order to bring both her and myself to our reasonable senses.”
“That was a wild thing I wrote last night, but I’m not going to get rid of it. I don’t care what you think about me. It would have been a shame not to wake up and realize it wasn’t all a dream, but then I felt the contrast with the sadness you’re witnessing. And I just received your letter. What a sudden end to that joyful life! She was truly one of the most charming people ever to cross our paths, and if she had faults, they were those of her time and upbringing. I gather from what you said that she was too youthful to be the companion your brother really needed, which might explain why he seems more shocked than heartbroken. And his child, since he can focus on that thought, is such a new source of hope that I’m not as surprised as you are at how well he’s handling everything. Plus, pain dulls emotions and keeps you busy. I wish you could have seen dear Bessie, but it sounds like the end came much faster than expected. It seemed like she was one of those people for whom even suffering was somehow lighter and shorter, as if she only experienced the joys of life, and even the hardships and pain were almost overshadowed by their bright moments. And she probably wouldn’t have survived without much in the way of temptation or sorrow. I appreciate your comments about Rachel’s effectiveness; I wrote them out and sent them to the Homestead. This morning there was a note asking Edward to come in to see Maddox, and Ailie went with him, hoping she might get to see poor Maria. Imagine writing, ‘Edward and Ailie’ again! Dr. Long and Harry went with them. The broken thread is better tied by Harry than by the Doctor; but he wants Ailie and me to go and stay in Belfast. Now I need to hear Rose read in order to bring both her and myself back to our senses.”
“5 P. M.
5 PM
“They have been returned about an hour, and I must try to give you Edward’s account of his interview. Maddox has quite dropped his mask, and seems to have been really touched by being brought into contact with Edward again, and, now it is all up with him, seemed to take a kind of pleasure in explaining the whole web, almost, Edward said, with vanity at his own ingenuity. His earlier history was as he used to represent it to Edward. He was a respectable ironmonger’s son, with a taste for art; he was not allowed to indulge it, and then came rebellion, and breaking away from home. He studied at the Academy for a few years, but wanted application, and fancied he had begun too late, tried many things and spent a shifty life, but never was consciously dishonest till after he had fallen in with Edward; and the large sums left uninquired for in his hands became a temptation to one already inclined to gambling. His own difficulties drove him on, and before he ventured on the grand stroke, he had been in a course of using the sums in his hands for his own purposes. The finding poor Maria open to the admiration he gave her beauty, put it into his head to make a tool of her; and this was not the first time he had used Edward’s seal, or imitated his writing. No wonder there was such a confusion in the accounts as told so much against Edward. He told the particulars, Edward says, with the strangest mixture of remorse and exultation. At last came the journey to Bohemia, and his frauds became the more easy, until he saw there must be a bankruptcy, and made the last bold stroke, investing the money abroad in his own name, so that he would have been ready to escape if Edward had come home again. He never expected but that Edward would have returned, and finding the affairs hopeless, did this deed in order to have a resource. As to regret, he seemed to feel some when he said the effects had gone farther than he anticipated; but ‘I could not let him get into that subject,’ Edward said, and he soon came back to his amused complacency in his complete hoodwinking of all concerned at home, almost thanking Edward for the facilities his absence had given him. After this, he went abroad, taking Maria lest she should betray him on being cast off; and they lived in such style at German gambling places that destitution brought them back again to England, where he could better play the lecturer, and the artist in search of subscriptions. Edward could not help smiling over some of his good stories, rather as ‘the lord’ may have ‘commended the wisdom of his unjust steward.’ Well, here he came, and, as he said, he really could hardly have helped himself; he had only to stand still and let poor Rachel deceive herself, and the whole concern was in a manner thrust upon him. He was always expecting to be able to get the main sum into his hands, as he obtained more confidence from Rachel, and the woodcuts were an over-bold stroke for the purpose; he had not intended her to keep or show them, but her ready credulity tempted him too far; and I cannot help laughing now at poor Edward’s reproofs to us for having been all so easily cheated, now that he has been admitted behind the scenes. Maddox never suspected our neighbourhood, he had imagined us to be still in London, and though he heard Alison’s name, he did not connect it with us. After all, what you thought would have been fatal to your hopes of tracing him, was really what gave him into our hands—Lady Temple’s sudden descent upon their F. U. E. E. If he had not been so hurried and distressed as to be forced to leave Maria and the poor child to her fate, Maria would have held by him to the last and without her testimony where should we have been? But with a summons out against him, and hearing that Maria had been recognised, he could only fly to the place at Bristol that he thought unknown to Maria. Even when seized by the police, he did not know it was she who directed them, and had not expected her evidence till he actually saw and heard her on the night of the sessions. It was all Colonel Keith’s doing, he said, every other adversary he would have despised, but your array of forces met him at every corner where he hoped to escape, and the dear little Rosie gave him check-mate, like a gallant little knight’s pawn as she is. ‘Who could have guessed that child would have such a confounded memory?’ he said, for Edward had listened with a sort of interest that had made him quite forget that he was Rose’s father, and that this wicked cunning Colonel was working in his cause. So off he goes to penal servitude, and Edward is so much impressed and touched with his sharpness as to predict that he will be the model prisoner before long, if he do not make his escape. As to poor Maria, that was a much more sad meeting, though perhaps less really melancholy, for there can be no doubt that she repents entirely, she speaks of every one as being very good to her, and indeed the old influences only needed revival, they had never quite died out. Even that poor child’s name was given for love of Ailie, and the perception of having been used to bring about her master’s ruin had always preyed upon her, and further embittered her temper. The barbarity seemed like a dream in connexion with her, but, as she told Ailie, when she once began something came over her, and she could not help striking harder. It reminded me of horrible stories of the Hathertons’ usage of animals. Enough of this. I believe the Sisterhood will find a safe shelter for her when her imprisonment is over, and that temptation will not again be put in her way. We should never have trusted her in poor dear Lucy’s household. Rose calls for the letters. Good bye, dearest Colin and conqueror. I know all this will cheer you, for it is your own doing. I can’t stop saying so, it is such a pleasant sound—Your own,
“They've been back for about an hour, and I need to share Edward's account of his meeting. Maddox has completely dropped his facade and seems to have genuinely been moved by reconnecting with Edward. Now that everything is out in the open, he appeared to take some pleasure in unraveling the entire situation, almost, Edward said, with a bit of pride in his own cleverness. His past was as he used to tell Edward. He was the son of a respectable ironmonger with an interest in art; he wasn't allowed to pursue it, which led to rebellion and breaking away from home. He studied at the Academy for a few years but lacked dedication, thinking he had started too late. He tried various paths and lived a somewhat shady life but never considered himself dishonest until he got involved with Edward; the large sums of money left unaccounted for in his possession became a temptation for someone already prone to gambling. His own struggles pushed him forward, and before he made the big move, he had begun using the money he had for his own needs. Finding poor Maria receptive to his admiration of her beauty gave him the idea to manipulate her; this wasn’t the first time he had used Edward’s seal or forged his handwriting. It’s no surprise there was such a mess in the accounts that painted Edward in a bad light. Edward says Maddox recounted the details with a bizarre mix of regret and pride. Eventually came the trip to Bohemia, making his fraudulent activities easier until he realized he was heading for bankruptcy and made one last desperate move, investing the money abroad in his own name, preparing to escape if Edward returned. He always thought Edward would come back, and finding everything hopeless led him to that act for a backup plan. Regarding regret, he seemed to feel a bit when he mentioned the consequences were worse than he expected; but when Edward tried to pursue that topic, Maddox quickly returned to his amused sense of satisfaction in having completely deceived everyone back home, almost thanking Edward for the opportunities his absence had provided. After that, he went abroad, taking Maria with him to avoid her spilling the beans if he ditched her. They lived in such style at German gambling spots that their financial situation forced them to return to England, where he could better play the role of a lecturer and an artist seeking support. Edward couldn't help but smile at some of his amusing stories, much like a lord might commend his dishonest steward’s cleverness. Well, here he came, and as he said, he really couldn’t have stopped himself; he just had to stand by and watch poor Rachel deceive herself, and the whole situation was, in a way, thrust upon him. He was always expecting to get his hands on the main sum as he gained more trust from Rachel, and the woodcuts were a risky move. He hadn't intended for her to keep or show them, but her eager gullibility pushed him too far. I can’t help but laugh now at poor Edward’s chastisements of us for being so easily fooled now that he’s gotten a look behind the curtain. Maddox never suspected our neighborhood; he thought we were still in London, and even though he heard Alison’s name, he didn’t connect it with us. Ultimately, what you thought would have jeopardized your chances of tracing him was actually what landed him in our grip—Lady Temple’s sudden arrival at their F. U. E. E. If he hadn’t been so rushed and stressed that he had to leave Maria and the poor child to fend for themselves, Maria would have stuck by him to the end, and without her testimony, we would have been lost. But with a warrant out for him and hearing that Maria had been recognized, he could only flee to a place in Bristol he thought Maria didn’t know. Even when arrested by the police, he didn’t realize it was her who tipped them off and hadn’t expected her testimony until he actually saw and heard her on the night of the sessions. It was all Colonel Keith’s doing, he said; any other opponent he would have ignored, but your array of forces trapped him at every turn where he thought he could evade capture, and the dear little Rosie delivered the final blow, just like a brave knight’s pawn. ‘Who could have guessed that child would have such an incredible memory?’ he said, for Edward had listened with such interest that he completely forgot he was Rose’s father and that this wickedly clever Colonel was working in his favor. So off he goes to penal servitude, and Edward is so moved and impressed by his shrewdness that he predicts he’ll become the model prisoner soon, unless he manages to escape. Poor Maria's reunion was much sadder, though perhaps less genuinely somber, as she undoubtedly feels immense regret; she talks about everyone being very nice to her, and in truth, the old influences just needed to be revived; they had never quite faded away. Even that poor child’s name was given out of love for Ailie, and the knowledge that she had been manipulated into causing her master’s downfall had always weighed on her and further soured her mood. The cruelty seemed dreamlike in relation to her, but as she told Ailie, once she started something would take over her, and she couldn’t help but strike harder. It reminded me of horrible tales about the Hathertons’ treatment of animals. Enough of this. I believe the Sisterhood will find a safe place for her once her imprisonment is over, and that temptation won’t be dangled in front of her again. We should never have put her in dear Lucy’s household. Rose is asking for the letters. Goodbye, dearest Colin and conqueror. I know this will cheer you because it’s all your doing. I just can’t stop saying so; it’s such a satisfying thing to hear—Your own,”
“E. W.”
“E. W.”
CHAPTER XXVIII. VANITY OF VANITIES.
“Unfaith in aught is want of faith in all.” TENNYSON.
“Being unfaithful in any area shows a lack of faith in everything.” TENNYSON.
The funeral was very quiet. By Colonel Keith’s considerate arrangement the attendants met at Timber End, so that the stillness of the Parsonage was not invaded, a measure the more expedient, as Alick was suffering from a return of his old enemy, intermitting fever, and only was able to leave his room in time to join the procession.
The funeral was really quiet. Thanks to Colonel Keith's thoughtful planning, everyone gathered at Timber End, so the peace of the Parsonage wasn't disturbed. This was even more practical since Alick was dealing with a relapse of his old issue, intermittent fever, and could only leave his room just in time to join the procession.
Many were present, for poor Bessie had been a general favourite, and her untimely fate had stirred up feelings that had created her into a saint upon earth; but there was no one whose token of respect she would have more esteemed than Colonel Hammond’s, who in all the bustle of the remove to Edinburgh had found time to come to Bishopsworthy to do honour to the daughter of his old commanding officer. A flush of gratitude came over Alick’s pale face when he became aware of his colonel’s presence, and when the choristers’ hymn had pealed low and sweetly over the tranquil meadows, and the mourners had turned away, Alick paused at the Parsonage gate to hold out his hand, and bring in this one guest to hear how near to Bessie’s heart the father’s Highland regiment had been in all the wanderings of her last moments.
Many people were there, since poor Bessie had been a favorite of many, and her unexpected death had stirred emotions that turned her into a kind of saint in everyone’s eyes; but there wasn’t anyone whose gesture of respect she would have valued more than Colonel Hammond's. Despite the chaos of moving to Edinburgh, he took the time to come to Bishopsworthy to pay his respects to the daughter of his old commanding officer. A look of gratitude crossed Alick’s pale face when he noticed his colonel was there, and after the choir’s hymn had softly echoed over the peaceful meadows, and the mourners had started to leave, Alick paused at the Parsonage gate to extend his hand, inviting this one guest to hear how much Bessie had held her father’s Highland regiment close to her heart during her final moments.
The visit was prolonged for nearly an hour, while recollections of Alick’s parents were talked over, and Rachel thought him more cheered and gratified than by any other tribute that had been paid to his sister. He was promised an extension of leave, if it were required on account of Lord Keith’s state, though under protest that he would have the aguish fever as long as he remained overlooking the water meadows, and did not put himself under Dr. M’Vicar. Through these meadows Colonel Hammond meant to walk back to the station, and Alick and Rachel conducted him far enough to put him into the right path, and in going back again, they could not but go towards the stile leading to that corner of the churchyard where the sexton had finished his work, and smoothed the sods over that new grave.
The visit lasted almost an hour as they reminisced about Alick’s parents, and Rachel noted that he seemed more uplifted and satisfied than with any previous tribute to his sister. He was promised an extension of his leave if needed due to Lord Keith’s condition, though he protested that he would suffer from the chills and fever as long as he stayed by the water meadows and didn't consult Dr. M’Vicar. Colonel Hammond planned to walk back to the station through these meadows, and Alick and Rachel guided him far enough to set him on the right path. On their way back, they couldn't help but walk toward the stile that led to the part of the churchyard where the sexton had finished his work and leveled the soil over the new grave.
Some one was standing at the foot—not the sexton—but a young man bending as with an intolerable load of grief. Rachel saw him first, when Alick was helping her down the step, and her start of dismay made him turn and look round. His brow contracted, and she clutched his arm with an involuntary cry of, “Oh, don’t,” but he, with a gesture that at once awed and tranquillized her, unclasped her hold and put her back, while he stepped forward.
Someone was standing at the foot—not the sexton—but a young man bent over as if weighed down by unbearable sadness. Rachel noticed him first while Alick was helping her down the step, and her sudden reaction of shock made him turn and look around. His brow furrowed, and she grabbed his arm with an involuntary cry of, “Oh, don’t,” but he, with a gesture that both intimidated and calmed her, unclasped her grip and pushed her back as he stepped forward.
She could hear every word, though his voice was low and deep with emotion. “Carleton, if I have ever been harsh or unjust in my dealings towards you, I am sorry for it. We have both had the saddest of all lessons. May we both take it as we ought.”
She could hear every word, even though his voice was low and filled with emotion. “Carleton, if I’ve ever been harsh or unfair towards you, I’m sorry for that. We’ve both learned the hardest lessons. Let’s take it as we should.”
He wrung the surprised and unwilling hand, and before the youth, startled and overcome, had recovered enough to attempt a reply, he had come back to Rachel, resumed her arm, and crossed the churchyard, still shivering and trembling with the agitation, and the force he had put on himself. Rachel neither could nor durst speak; she only squeezed his hand, and when he had shut himself up in his own room, she could not help repairing to his uncle, and telling him the whole. Mr. Clare’s “God bless you, my boy,” had double meaning in it that night.
He squeezed the surprised and reluctant hand, and before the young man, shocked and overwhelmed, had gathered his thoughts enough to respond, he had returned to Rachel, taken her arm again, and walked across the churchyard, still shaking and trembling from the emotions and the effort he had exerted. Rachel could neither speak nor dared to; she just squeezed his hand, and when he locked himself in his room, she couldn’t help but go to his uncle and tell him everything. Mr. Clare’s “God bless you, my boy,” carried a deeper meaning that night.
Not long after, Alick told Rachel of his having met poor young Carleton in the meadows, pretending to occupy himself with his fishing-rod, but too wretched to do anything. And in a short time Mrs. Carleton again called to pour out to Mrs. Keith her warm thanks to the Captain, for having roused her son from his moody, unmanageable despair, and made him consent to accept a situation in a new field of labour, in a spirit of manful duty that he had never evinced before.
Not long after, Alick told Rachel that he had seen poor young Carleton in the meadows, pretending to fish but too miserable to focus on anything. Soon after, Mrs. Carleton came by again to express her heartfelt thanks to Mrs. Keith for helping her son overcome his deep, unshakeable despair and convincing him to take a job in a new field with a sense of responsibility he had never shown before.
This was a grave and subdued, but not wholly mournful, period at Bishopsworthy—a time very precious to Rachel in the retrospect—though there was much to render it anxious. Alick continued to suffer from recurrences of the fever, not very severe in themselves after the first two or three, but laying him prostrate with shivering and headache every third day, and telling heavily on his strength and looks when he called himself well. On these good days he was always at Timber End, where his services were much needed. Lord Keith liked and esteemed him as a sensible prudent young man, and his qualities as a first-rate nurse were of great assistance to the Colonel. Lord Keith’s illness was tedious and painful, the necessity of a dangerous operation became increasingly manifest, but the progress towards such a crisis was slow and the pain and discomfort great; the patient never moved beyond his dressing-room, and needed incessant attention to support his spirits and assist his endeavours to occupy himself. It was impossible to leave him for long together, and Colonel Keith was never set at liberty for exercise or rest except when Alick came to his assistance, and fortunately this young brother-in-law was an especial favourite, partly from Lord Keith’s esteem for his prudence partly from his experience in this especial species of suffering. At any rate the days of Alick’s enforced absence were always times of greater restlessness and uneasiness at Timber End.
This was a serious and subdued, but not completely sorrowful, time at Bishopsworthy—a period that Rachel cherished in hindsight—though there was much that made it anxious. Alick continued to deal with bouts of fever, which weren’t very severe after the first couple, but left him feeling weak with chills and headache every third day, and it really affected his strength and appearance even when he claimed to feel better. On those better days, he was always at Timber End, where his help was greatly needed. Lord Keith liked and respected him as a sensible and careful young man, and his skills as a top-notch nurse were a huge help to the Colonel. Lord Keith’s illness was long and painful, and it became clear that he would need a risky operation, but the road to that point was slow, with lots of pain and discomfort; he rarely left his dressing room and needed constant support to keep his spirits up and help him find things to do. It was impossible to leave him alone for long, and Colonel Keith only got a chance for exercise or rest when Alick was there to help, and luckily, this young brother-in-law was a particular favorite, both because of Lord Keith’s regard for his prudence and his experience in dealing with this specific kind of suffering. At any rate, the days when Alick had to be away were always marked by greater restlessness and unease at Timber End.
Meantime Rachel was constantly thrown with Mr. Clare, supplying Alick’s place to him, and living in a round of duties that suited her well, details of parish work, walking with, writing for, and reading to Mr Clare, and reaping much benefit from intercourse with such a mind. Many of her errors had chiefly arisen from the want of some one whose superiority she could feel, and her old presumptions withered up to nothing when she measured her own powers with those of a highly educated man, while all the time he gave her thanks and credit for all she had effected, but such as taught her humility by very force of infection.
In the meantime, Rachel was frequently with Mr. Clare, taking Alick’s place and engaging in a set of responsibilities that suited her perfectly—parish work, walking with him, writing for him, and reading to him. She gained a lot from interacting with such an impressive mind. Many of her mistakes had mostly stemmed from not having someone whose superiority she could admire, and her previous assumptions faded away when she compared her abilities to those of a highly educated man. Despite this, he appreciated and credited her for everything she accomplished, which taught her humility through sheer experience.
Working in earnest at his visitation sermon, she was drawn up into the real principles and bearings of the controversy, and Mr. Clare failed not to give full time and patience to pick out all her difficulties, removing scruples at troubling him, by declaring that it was good for his own purpose to unwind every tangle even if he did not use every thread. It was wonderful how many puzzles were absolutely intangible, not even tangled threads, but a sort of nebulous matter that dispersed itself on investigation. And after all, unwilling as she would have been to own it, a woman’s tone of thought is commonly moulded by the masculine intellect, which, under one form or another, becomes the master of her soul. Those opinions, once made her own, may be acted and improved upon, often carried to lengths never thought of by their inspirer, or held with noble constancy and perseverance even when he himself may have fallen from them, but from some living medium they are almost always adopted, and thus, happily for herself, a woman’s efforts at scepticism are but blind faith in her chosen leader, or, at the utmost, in the spirit of the age. And Rachel having been more than usually removed from the immediate influence of superior man, had been affected by the more feeble and distant power, a leading that appeared to her the light of her independent mind; but it was not in the nature of things that, from her husband and his uncle, her character should not receive that tincture for which it had so long waited, strong and thorough in proportion to her nature, not rapid in receiving impressions, but steadfast and uncompromising in retaining and working on them when once accepted, a nature that Alick Keith had discerned and valued amid its worst errors far more than mere attractiveness, of which his sister had perhaps made him weary and distrustful. Nor, indeed, under the force of the present influences, was attractiveness wanting, and she suited Alick’s peculiarities far better than many a more charming person would have done, and his uncle, knowing her only by her clear mellow voice, her consideration, helpfulness, and desire to think and do rightly, never understood the doubtful amazement now and then expressed in talking of Alick’s choice. One great bond between Rachel and Mr. Clare was affection for the little babe, who continued to be Rachel’s special charge, and was a great deal dearer to her already than all the seven Temples put together. She studied all the books on infant management that she could obtain, constantly listened for his voice, and filled her letters to her mother with questions and details on his health, and descriptions of his small person. Alick was amused whenever he glanced at his strong-minded woman’s correspondence, and now and then used to divert himself with rousing her into emphatic declarations of her preference of this delicate little being to “great, stout, coarse creatures that people call fine children.” In fact, Alick’s sensitive tenderness towards his sister’s motherless child took the form of avoiding the sight of it, and being ironical when it was discussed; but with Mr. Clare, Rachel was sure of sympathy, ever since the afternoon when he had said how the sounds upstairs reminded him of his own little daughter; and sitting under the yew-tree, he had told Rachel all the long stored-up memories of the little life that had been closed a few days after he had first heard himself called papa by the baby lips. He had described all these events calmly, and not without smiles, and had said how his own blindness had made him feel thankful that he had safely laid his little Una on her mother’s bosom under the church’s shade; but when Rachel spoke of this conversation to her husband, she learnt that it was the first time that he had ever talked of those buried hopes. He had often spoken of his wife, but though always fond of children, few who had not read little Una’s name beneath her mother’s cross, knew that he was a childless father. And yet it was beautiful to see the pleasure he took in the touch of Bessie’s infant, and how skilfully and tenderly he would hold it, so that Rachel in full faith averred that the little Alexander was never so happy as with him. The chief alarms came from Mrs Comyn Menteith, who used to descend on the Rectory like a whirlwind, when the Colonel had politely expelled her from her father’s room at Timber End. Possessed with the idea of Rachel’s being very dull at Bishopsworthy, she sedulously enlivened her with melancholy prognostics as to the life, limbs, and senses of the young heir, who would never live, poor little darling, even with the utmost care of herself and her nurse, and it was very perverse of papa and the doctors still to keep him from her—poor little darling—not that it mattered, for he was certain not to thrive, wherever he was, and the Gowanbrae family would end with Uncle Colin and the glassblower’s daughter; a disaster on which she met with such condolence from Alick (N. B. the next heir) that Rachel was once reduced to the depths of genuine despair by the conviction that his opinion of his nephew’s life was equally desponding; and another time was very angry with him for not defending Ermine’s gentility. She had not entirely learnt what Alick’s assent might mean.
Working hard on her visitation sermon, she became deeply engaged in the core principles and nuances of the issue at hand. Mr. Clare took the time and showed patience in addressing all her concerns, reassuring her that it was beneficial for him to unravel every complication, even if he didn't use every detail. It was remarkable how many of the problems were completely elusive—more like an indistinct fog that dissolved upon closer inspection. And yet, as much as she would have disliked admitting it, a woman's way of thinking is often shaped by male intellect, which, in one way or another, becomes the dominant force in her life. Once those views become her own, they can be acted upon and refined, often taken to extremes unimaginable by their originator, or maintained with admirable dedication, even if he himself has strayed from them. However, they are typically adopted from some living source. Fortunately for herself, a woman's attempts at skepticism usually amount to blind faith in her chosen leader or, at most, in the spirit of the times. Rachel, having been somewhat isolated from the direct influence of strong men, was affected by this weaker, more distant power, a guidance that she believed reflected her independent thinking. But, it was inevitable that her character would receive the influence it had long awaited, strong and thorough according to her nature—not quick to accept impressions, but steadfast and resolute in retaining and acting on them once they were embraced. This was a quality that Alick Keith had recognized and appreciated even amid her significant flaws, far more than mere charm, which his sister may have exhausted his patience and trust. Nor was there a lack of allure under the current circumstances; in fact, she suited Alick's peculiarities much better than many more charming individuals might have. His uncle, knowing her only through her smooth tone, her thoughtfulness, helpfulness, and desire to act and think rightly, never grasped the bewilderment sometimes expressed when discussing Alick’s choice. A strong bond between Rachel and Mr. Clare was their shared affection for the little baby, who was entirely Rachel's responsibility and meant far more to her than anything else combined. She read every book on infant care she could find, constantly listened for his sound, and filled her letters to her mother with inquiries and updates on his health, along with descriptions of his small features. Alick found it amusing whenever he glanced at his strong-minded wife’s letters, occasionally teasing her into emphatic statements about how she preferred this delicate little being over “big, sturdy, rough kids that people call fine children.” In reality, Alick's sensitive tenderness towards his sister’s motherless child took the form of avoiding its presence and making ironic comments during discussions about it. However, with Mr. Clare, Rachel was always assured of sympathy, ever since that afternoon when he had remarked how the sounds from upstairs reminded him of his little daughter. Sitting under the yew tree, he shared with Rachel all the fond memories of the little life that had ended just a few days after he had first heard the baby call him papa. He recounted these events calmly, with a smile, expressing gratitude that his own blindness allowed him to lay his little Una in her mother's arms beneath the church's shaded area. But when Rachel mentioned this conversation to her husband, she discovered it was the first time he had ever spoken about those lost hopes. He had often talked about his wife, but though he was always fond of children, few who had not seen little Una's name on her mother’s grave knew that he was a childless father. Yet, it was touching to see his joy in holding Bessie's baby, how skillfully and gently he would manage it, leading Rachel to wholeheartedly claim that little Alexander was never happier than when he was with him. The main source of concern came from Mrs. Comyn Menteith, who would storm into the Rectory like a whirlwind after the Colonel had politely removed her from her father's room at Timber End. Convinced that Rachel was exceptionally lonely at Bishopsworthy, she bombarded her with gloomy predictions regarding the life and health of the young heir, who, unfortunately, would never survive, even with the utmost care from her and the nurse, and it was very unfair of papa and the doctors to keep him from her—poor little darling—not that it mattered, because he was sure to falter wherever he was, and the Gowanbrae family would end with Uncle Colin and the glassblower’s daughter; a disaster that she received such heartfelt condolences from Alick (the next heir) that Rachel was once plunged into genuine despair, believing his outlook on his nephew’s survival was equally bleak; and another time, she grew very upset with him for not defending Ermine’s status. She hadn't fully understood what Alick's agreement might signify.
Once, when Mrs. Menteith had been besetting her father with entreaties for the keys of Lady Keith’s private possessions, she was decisively silenced, and the next day these same keys were given to Alick, with a request that his wife would as soon as possible look over and take to herself all that had belonged to his sister, except a few heirloom jewels that must return to Scotland. Alick demurred greatly, but the old man would not brook contradiction, and Rachel was very unwillingly despatched upon the mission on one of Alick’s days of prostration at home. His absence was the most consoling part of this sad day’s work. Any way it could not be otherwise than piteous to dismantle what had been lately so bright and luxurious, and the contrast of the present state of things with that in which these dainty new wedding presents had been brought together, could not but give many a pang; but beside this, there was a more than ordinary impression of “vanity of vanities, all is vanity,” very painful to affection that was striving to lose the conviction that it had been a self-indulgent, plausible life. The accumulation of expensive trinkets and small luxuries, was as surprising as perplexing to a person of Rachel’s severely simple and practical tastes. It was not only since the marriage; for Bessie had always had at her disposal means rather ample, and had used them not exactly foolishly, but evidently for her own gratification. Everything had some intrinsic worth, and was tasteful or useful, but the multitude was perfectly amazing, and the constant echo in Rachel’s ears was, “he heapeth up riches and cannot tell who shall gather them.” Lord Keith could hardly have found an executrix for his poor young wife, to whom her properties would have done so little harm. Rachel set many aside for the cousins, and for Mrs. Menteith, others she tried to persuade the Colonel to call Gowanbrae belongings, and failing in this, she hoped through Grace, to smuggle some of them into his Gowanbrae; but when all was done, there was a mass of things that Lord Keith never wished to see again, and that seemed to Rachel to consist of more ornaments than she could ever wear, and more knick-knacks than a captain’s wife could ever carry about with her.
Once, when Mrs. Menteith had been pressuring her father for the keys to Lady Keith’s private belongings, she was firmly shut down. The next day, those same keys were handed to Alick, with a request that his wife quickly go through and keep everything that had belonged to his sister, except for a few heirloom jewels that needed to go back to Scotland. Alick hesitated a lot, but the old man wouldn’t accept any refusal, and Rachel was reluctantly sent on the task on one of Alick’s days of being at home and unwell. His absence was the most comforting part of this sad day’s work. It couldn’t help but be heart-wrenching to take apart what had recently been so bright and luxurious, and the stark difference between how things were now and how those delicate new wedding gifts had once been displayed was bound to bring many moments of pain. Besides this, there was an unusually strong feeling of “vanity of vanities, all is vanity,” which was very painful for those who loved and were trying to dismiss the realization that it had all been a self-indulgent, attractive life. The collection of expensive trinkets and minor luxuries was as astonishing as it was confusing to someone like Rachel, who had very simple and practical tastes. It wasn’t just since the marriage; Bessie had always had access to ample resources and had used them not exactly foolishly, but clearly for her own enjoyment. Everything had some inherent value and was either stylish or practical, but the sheer number of items was absolutely staggering, and the constant echo in Rachel’s ears was, “he heaps up riches and cannot tell who shall gather them.” Lord Keith couldn’t have found an executor for his unfortunate young wife who would have caused her possessions to be of so little harm. Rachel set many aside for the cousins, and for Mrs. Menteith, while others she tried to persuade the Colonel to consider as belongings of Gowanbrae. When that failed, she hoped to secretly pass some of them to Gowanbrae through Grace. But when everything was sorted, there was still a pile of things that Lord Keith never wanted to see again, which seemed to Rachel to consist of more ornaments than she could ever wear, and more knick-knacks than a captain’s wife could ever carry with her.
She was putting aside the various packets of letters and papers to be looked over more at leisure, when the Colonel knocked at the morning-room door, and told her that his brother would like to see her, when her work was done. “But first,” he said, “I must ask you to be kind enough to look over some of these papers, and try to find receipts for some of those bills.”
She was setting aside the different packets of letters and papers to review later when the Colonel knocked on the morning-room door and told her that his brother would like to see her once she was finished with her work. “But first,” he said, “I need to ask you to please go through some of these papers and try to find receipts for some of those bills.”
“Here they are,” said Rachel, “I was going to look them over at home.”
“Here they are,” Rachel said. “I was planning to go through them at home.”
“If you have time to examine them here with me,” said Colonel Keith, gently, “I think it might save Alick some pain and vexation.”
“If you have time to look them over here with me,” said Colonel Keith, gently, “I think it might spare Alick some pain and frustration.”
Rachel was entirely unaware of his meaning, and supposed he only thought of the mere thrilling of the recent wound; but when he sat down and took a long account out of a tradesman’s envelope, a chill of dismay came over her, followed by a glow of hope as she recollected a possible explanation: “Have these wretched tradesmen been sending in bills over again at such a time as this?” she exclaimed.
Rachel had no idea what he meant and thought he was just focused on the pain from his recent wound. But when he sat down and pulled out a long invoice from a merchant's envelope, a wave of panic washed over her, followed by a spark of hope as she remembered a possible explanation: “Have these awful merchants really been sending in bills again at a time like this?” she exclaimed.
“I should be very glad to find their receipts,” returned the Colonel.
“I would be really happy to find their receipts,” replied the Colonel.
They opened the most business-like looking bundles, all of them, though neatly kept, really in hopeless confusion. In vain was the search, and notes came forth which rendered it but too plain that there had been a considerable amount of debt even before the marriage, and that she had made partial payments and promises of clearing all off gradually, but that her new expenses were still growing upon her, and the few payments “on account,” since she had been Lady Keith, by no means tallied with the amount of new purchases and orders. No one had suspected her money matters of being in disorder, and Rachel was very slow to comprehend; her simple, country life had made her utterly unaware of the difficulties and ways and means of a young lady of fashion. Even the direct evidence before her eyes would not at first persuade her that it was not “all those wicked tradesmen;” she had always heard that fashionable shops were not to be trusted.
They opened all the bundles that looked the most professional, and even though they were neatly organized, everything was really in total chaos. The search was in vain, and the notes revealed that there had been a significant amount of debt even before the marriage. She had made some partial payments and promised to pay off everything gradually, but her new expenses kept piling up, and the few payments “on account” since she became Lady Keith didn’t match the amount of new purchases and orders. No one had suspected that her finances were in disarray, and Rachel was very slow to understand; her simple, rural life had left her completely unaware of the struggles and methods of a fashionable young woman. Even the clear evidence right in front of her wasn’t enough to convince her that it wasn’t just the "wicked tradesmen;" she had always been told that upscale shops weren’t to be trusted.
“I am afraid,” said Colonel Keith, “that the whole can scarcely be shifted on the tradesmen. I fear poor Bessie was scarcely free from blame in this matter.”
“I’m afraid,” said Colonel Keith, “that the whole situation can hardly be blamed on the tradesmen. I worry that poor Bessie wasn’t completely innocent in this matter.”
“Not paying! Going on in debt! Oh she could not have meant it;” said Rachel, still too much astonished to understand. “Of course one hears of gay, thoughtless people doing such things, but Bessie—who had so much thought and sense. It must be a mistake! Can’t you go and speak to the people?”
“Not paying! Getting into debt! Oh, she couldn’t have meant it,” said Rachel, still too shocked to understand. “Of course, you hear about carefree, reckless people doing things like that, but Bessie—who was so thoughtful and sensible. It has to be a mistake! Can’t you go and talk to them?”
“It is very sad and painful to make such discoveries,” said Colonel Keith; “but I am afraid such things are not uncommon in the set she was too much thrown amongst.”
“It’s really sad and painful to find out things like this,” Colonel Keith said. “But I’m afraid these kinds of situations aren’t rare in the circles she was too deeply involved in.”
“But she knew so well—she was so superior; and with Alick and her uncle to keep her above them,” said Rachel; “I cannot think she could have done such things.”
“But she knew so well—she was so much better than them; and with Alick and her uncle to keep her above them,” said Rachel; “I can’t believe she could have done those things.”
“I could not think, but I see it was so,” said Colonel Keith, gravely. “As I am obliged to understand these things, she must have greatly exceeded her means, and have used much cleverness and ingenuity in keeping the tradesmen quiet, and preventing all from coming to light.”
“I couldn’t think, but I see it was true,” said Colonel Keith seriously. “Since I have to grasp these matters, she must have really overstepped her finances and used a lot of skill and creativity to keep the vendors quiet and hide everything from coming to light.”
“How miserable! I can’t fancy living in such a predicament.”
“How miserable! I can’t imagine living in such a situation.”
“I am much afraid,” added the Colonel, looking over the papers, “that it explains the marriage—and then Keith did not allow her as much as she expected.”
“I’m really worried,” the Colonel said, glancing through the papers, “that it explains the marriage—and then Keith didn’t give her as much as she expected.”
“Oh, Colonel Keith, don’t!” cried Rachel; “it is just the one thing where I could not bear to believe Alick. She was so dear and beautiful, and spoke so rightly.”
“Oh, Colonel Keith, please don’t!” Rachel cried. “This is the one thing I just can’t accept about Alick. She was so precious and beautiful, and she spoke so wisely.”
“To believe Alick!” repeated the Colonel, as Rachel’s voice broke down.
“To believe Alick!” the Colonel repeated, as Rachel's voice cracked.
“I thought—I ought not to have thought—he was hard upon her—but he knew better,” said Rachel, “of course he did not know of all this dreadful business!”
“I thought—I shouldn’t have thought—he was being harsh on her—but he knew better,” said Rachel, “of course he didn’t know about all this terrible situation!”
“Assuredly not,” said the Colonel, “that is self-evident, but as you say, I am afraid he did know his poor sister’s character better than we did, when he came to warn me against the marriage.”
“Definitely not,” said the Colonel, “that's obvious, but as you mentioned, I’m afraid he understood his poor sister’s character better than we did when he came to warn me about the marriage.”
“Did he? Oh how much it must have cost him.”
“Did he? Oh, how much that must have cost him.”
“I am afraid I did not make it cost him less. I thought he judged her harshly, and that his illness had made him magnify trifles, but though our interference would have been perfectly useless, he was quite right in his warning. Now that, poor thing, she is no longer here to enchant us with her witcheries, I see that my brother greatly suffered from being kept away from home, and detained in this place, and that she left him far more alone than she ought to have done.”
“I’m afraid I didn’t make it easier for him. I thought he was judging her too harshly and that his illness had made him blow small things out of proportion, but even though our interference would have been totally pointless, he was absolutely correct in his warning. Now that, poor thing, she’s no longer here to charm us with her magic, I realize that my brother really suffered from being away from home and stuck in this place, and that she left him much lonelier than she should have.”
“Yes, Alick thought so, but she had such good reasons, I am sure she believed them herself.”
“Yes, Alick thought that too, but she had such good reasons; I’m sure she believed them herself.”
“If she had not believed them, she could not have had such perfect sincerity of manner,” said the Colonel; “she must have persuaded at least one half of herself that she was acting for every one’s good except her own.”
“If she hadn’t believed them, she wouldn’t have been so completely sincere,” said the Colonel; “she must have convinced at least half of herself that she was doing it for everyone’s benefit except her own.”
“And Mr. Clare, whom Alick always thought she neglected, never felt it. Alick says he was too unselfish to claim attention.”
“And Mr. Clare, whom Alick always thought she ignored, never noticed it. Alick says he was too selfless to seek attention.”
“I never doubted her for one moment till I came home, on that unhappy day, and found how ill Keith was. I did think then, that considering how much she had seen of Alick while the splinters were working out, she ought to have known better than to talk of sciatica; but she made me quite believe in her extreme anxiety, and that she was only going out because it was necessary for her to take care of you on your first appearance. How bright she looked, and how little I thought I should never see her again!”
“I never doubted her for a second until I came home that unfortunate day and found out how sick Keith was. At that point, I thought that given how much she had seen of Alick while the splinters were being removed, she should have known better than to mention sciatica. But she made me really believe in her deep concern and that she was only leaving because it was essential for her to take care of you on your first visit. How radiant she looked, and I had no idea I would never see her again!”
“Oh, she meant what she said! She always was kind to me! Most kind!” repeated Rachel; “so considerate about all the dreadful spring—not one word did she say to vex me about the past! I am sure she did go out on that day as much to shelter me as for anything else. I can’t bear to think all this—here in this pretty room that she had such pleasure in; where she made me so welcome, after all my disagreeableness and foolishness.”
“Oh, she really meant it! She was always so nice to me! So kind!” Rachel said again, “She was so thoughtful about all the awful spring—not a single word did she say to upset me about the past! I know she went out that day as much to protect me as for anything else. I can’t stand to think about all this—here in this lovely room that she enjoyed so much; the place where she made me feel so welcome, despite all my faults and foolishness.”
The Colonel could almost have said, “Better such foolishness than such wisdom, such repulsion than such attraction.” He was much struck by Rachel’s distress, and the absence of all female spite and triumph, made him understand Ermine’s defence of her as really large-minded and generous.
The Colonel could almost have said, “Better this kind of foolishness than that kind of wisdom, better this repulsion than that attraction.” He was really struck by Rachel’s distress, and the lack of any female spite and triumph made him see Ermine’s defense of her as truly big-hearted and generous.
“It is a very sad moment to be undeceived,” he said; “one would rather have one’s faults come to light in one’s life than afterwards.”
“It’s really disappointing to be disillusioned,” he said; “it’s better to have your flaws revealed while you’re alive than afterwards.”
They were simple words, so simple that the terrible truth with which they were connected, did not come upon Rachel at the first moment; but as if to veil her agitation, she drew towards her a book, an ivory-bound Prayer-book, full of illuminations, of Bessie’s own doing, and her eye fell upon the awful verse, “So long as thou doest well unto thyself, men will speak good of thee.” It was almost more than Rachel could bear, sitting in the midst of the hoards, for which poor Bessie had sold herself. She rose up, with a sob of oppressive grief, and broke out, “Oh! at least it is a comfort that Alick was really the kindest and rightest! Only too right! but you can settle all this without him,” she added imploringly; “need he know of this? I can’t bear that he should.”
They were simple words, so simple that the awful truth behind them didn’t hit Rachel right away. To mask her distress, she picked up a book, an ivory-bound prayer book filled with illustrations Bessie had created, and her gaze landed on the painful verse, “As long as you do well for yourself, people will speak well of you.” It was almost more than Rachel could handle, sitting amidst the treasures for which poor Bessie had sold herself. She stood up, sobbing with overwhelming grief, and exclaimed, “Oh! At least it’s comforting that Alick was truly the kindest and most righteous! Only too righteous! But you can sort this out without him,” she added urgently; “does he really need to know about this? I can’t stand that he should.”
“Nor I,” said Colonel Keith, “it was the reason that I am glad you are here alone.”
“Me neither,” said Colonel Keith, “that's why I’m glad you’re here by yourself.”
“Oh, thank you! No one need ever know,” added Rachel.
“Oh, thank you! No one ever has to know,” added Rachel.
“I fear my brother must see the accounts, as they have to be paid, but that need not be immediately.”
“I’m afraid my brother will have to see the bills since they need to be paid, but it doesn’t have to be right away.”
“Is there anything else that is dreadful?” said Rachel, looking at the remaining papers, as if they were a nest of adders. “I don’t like to take them home now, if they will grieve Alick.”
“Is there anything else that's terrible?” Rachel asked, staring at the remaining papers like they were a nest of snakes. “I don’t want to take them home now if they’re going to upset Alick.”
“You need not be afraid of that packet,” said the Colonel; “I see his father’s handwriting. They look like his letters from India.”
“You don’t need to be afraid of that package,” said the Colonel; “I recognize his father’s handwriting. They look like his letters from India.”
Rachel looked into one or two, and her face lighted up. “Oh!” she exclaimed, “this is enough to make up for all. This is his letter to tell about Alick’s wound. Oh how beautifully he speaks of him,” and Rachel, with no voice to read, handed the thin paper to her companion, that he might see the full commendation, that had been wrung from the reserved father’s heart by his son’s extremity.
Rachel glanced at one or two, and her expression brightened. “Oh!” she exclaimed, “this makes up for everything. This is his letter about Alick’s injury. Oh, he speaks so beautifully of him,” and Rachel, unable to read aloud, handed the thin paper to her companion so he could see the praise that had come from the reserved father’s heart due to his son’s dire situation.
“You must be prepared to hear that all is over,” wrote the father to his daughter; “in fact, I doubt whether he can live till morning, though M’Vicar declares that nothing vital has been touched. Be it as it may, the boy has been in all respects, even more than I dared to wish, and the comfort he has been ever since he came out to me has been unspeakable. We must not grudge him such a soldier’s death after his joyous life. But for you, my poor girl, I could only wish the same for myself to-morrow. You will, at least, if you lose a brother’s care, have a memory of him, to which to live up. The thought of such a dead brother will be more to you than many a living one can ever be to a sister.”
“You need to be ready to hear that it might be the end,” the father wrote to his daughter. “Honestly, I doubt he’ll make it through the night, even though M’Vicar says nothing life-threatening has been affected. Regardless, the boy has been everything I could have hoped for, and the comfort he’s brought me since he came to my side has been beyond words. We shouldn’t resent him for such a soldier’s death after his joyful life. But for you, my poor girl, I can only wish I could share the same fate tomorrow. If you lose a brother’s care, at least you’ll have memories of him to hold onto. The thought of such a deceased brother will mean more to you than many living ones could ever mean to a sister.”
Rachel’s heart beat high, and her eyes were full of tears of exultation. And the Colonel was well pleased to compensate for all the pain he had inflicted by giving her all the details he could recollect of her husband’s short campaign. They had become excellent friends over their mournful work, and were sorry to have their tete-a-tete interrupted when a message was brought that his Lordship was ready, if Mrs. Keith would be so good as to come into his sitting-room.
Rachel's heart raced, and her eyes were brimming with tears of joy. The Colonel was glad to make up for all the pain he had caused by sharing every detail he could remember about her husband’s brief campaign. They had become great friends through their shared sorrow and were disappointed when they were interrupted by a message that his Lordship was ready and would like Mrs. Keith to come into his sitting room.
She wiped away the tears, and awe-struck and grave, followed the Colonel; a great contrast to Lord Keith’s more frequent lady-visitor, as she silently received the polished greeting, its peculiar stateliness of courtesy, enhanced by the feeble state of the shattered old man, unable to rise from his pillowed chair, and his face deeply lined by suffering. He would not let her give him any account of her labours, nor refer any question to him, he only entreated that everything might be taken away, and that he might hear nothing about it. He spoke warmly of Alick’s kindness and attention, and showed much solicitude about his indisposition, and at last he inquired for Rachel’s “little charge,” hoping he was not clamorous or obnoxious to her, or to Mr. Clare’s household. Her eager description of his charms provoked a look of interest and a sad smile, followed by a request, that weather and doctor permitting, she would bring the child to be seen for a few minutes. The next day there was an appointment, at which both the Colonel and Alick were wanted, but on the following one, the carriage should be sent to bring her and the little one to Timber End.
She wiped away her tears and, feeling a mix of awe and seriousness, followed the Colonel; a stark contrast to Lord Keith’s more frequent lady visitor, as she silently accepted the polished greeting, its unique formalness made even more striking by the frail state of the old man, unable to rise from his cushioned chair, his face deeply lined with pain. He wouldn’t let her tell him about her efforts or bring up any questions; he only asked that everything be taken away and that he wouldn’t hear anything about it. He spoke fondly of Alick’s kindness and care, expressing concern about his illness, and finally asked about Rachel’s “little charge,” hoping the child wasn’t too noisy or bothersome to her or Mr. Clare’s household. Her enthusiastic description of the child’s charms sparked his interest and a sad smile, followed by a request that, health and weather permitting, she bring the child to see him for a few minutes. The next day, there was an appointment that required both the Colonel and Alick, but on the following day, the carriage would be sent to bring her and the little one to Timber End.
The effect of this invitation amused Alick. The first thing he heard in the morning was a decided announcement from Rachel that she must go up to London to procure equipments for the baby to be presented in!
The effect of this invitation amused Alick. The first thing he heard in the morning was a clear announcement from Rachel that she had to go up to London to get supplies for the baby to be presented in!
“You know I can’t go with you to-day.”
“You know I can’t go with you today.”
“Of course, but I must make him fit to be seen. You know he has been wearing little Una’s things all this time, and that will not do out of the nursery.”
“Of course, but I have to make him look presentable. You know he’s been wearing little Una’s clothes this whole time, and that’s not okay outside of the nursery.”
“A superior woman ought to know that his Lordship will never find out what his son has on.”
“A respectable woman should know that his Lordship will never discover what his son is wearing.”
“Then it is all the more reason that I should not let the poor dear little fellow go about wrapped up in somebody’s old shawl!”
“Then it’s even more of a reason that I shouldn’t let the poor little guy walk around wrapped in someone’s old shawl!”
“What will you do then—take your maid?”
“What are you going to do then—bring your maid?”
“Certainly not. I can’t have him left.”
“Absolutely not. I can’t leave him behind.”
“Then take him with you?”
"Then take him with you?"
“What, Alick, a little unvaccinated baby! Where have you ever lived! I don’t see the least reason why I should not go alone.”
“What, Alick, a little unvaccinated baby! Where have you even lived! I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t go alone.”
“You need not begin beating about the world yet, Rachel. How many times did you say you had been in London?”
“You don't have to start wandering around the world just yet, Rachel. How many times did you say you've been to London?”
“Three; once with my father when I was a child, once in the time of the Great Exhibition, and passing through it now with you. But any one of common sense can manage.”
“Three times; once with my dad when I was a kid, once during the Great Exhibition, and now passing through it with you. But anyone with common sense can handle it.”
“If you will wait till five o’clock I will come with you,” said Alick, wearily.
“If you wait until five o’clock, I’ll go with you,” Alick said wearily.
“No, indeed, I had rather not go, than that you should, you are quite tired out enough at the end of the day.”
“No, really, I’d prefer not to go instead of you. You’re already worn out enough after a long day.”
“Then do not go.”
“Then don’t go.”
“Alick, why will you have no proper feeling for that poor dear child!” said Rachel with tears in her eyes.
“Alick, why can’t you show any proper feelings for that poor dear child?” said Rachel with tears in her eyes.
If he winced he did not show it. “My proper feeling takes the direction of my wife,” he said.
If he flinched, he didn’t reveal it. “My true feelings are focused on my wife,” he said.
“You don’t really mean to forbid me to go,” she exclaimed.
“You can’t be serious about not letting me go,” she exclaimed.
“I don’t mean it, for I do so, unless you find some one to go with you.”
“I don’t really mean it, because I do, unless you find someone to go with you.”
It was the first real collision that had taken place, but Alick’s quiet, almost languid tone had an absolute determination in it from the very absence of argument, and Rachel, though extremely annoyed, felt the uselessness of battling the point. She paused for a few moments, then said with an effort, “May I take the housekeeper?”
It was the first real clash that had happened, but Alick’s calm, almost lazy tone carried a strong determination just from the lack of debate, and Rachel, although very frustrated, sensed that arguing was pointless. She paused for a moment, then said with some difficulty, “Can I take the housekeeper?”
“Yes, certainly,” and then he added some advice about taking a brougham, and thus lightened her heart; so that she presently said humbly,
“Yes, of course,” and then he offered some advice about taking a carriage, which eased her mind; as a result, she soon replied humbly,
“Have I been self-willed and overbearing, Alick?”
“Have I been stubborn and bossy, Alick?”
He laughed. “Not at all; you have persevered just where you ought. I dare say this is all more essential than shows on the surface. And,” he added, with a shaken voice, “if you were not myself, Rachel, you know how I should thank you for caring for my poor Bessie’s child.” He was gone almost as he spoke the words, but Rachel still felt the kiss and the hot tears that had fallen on her face.
He laughed. “Not at all; you’ve stuck with it exactly where you should. I really think this is all more important than it seems. And,” he added, his voice trembling, “if you weren’t me, Rachel, you know how I would thank you for looking after my poor Bessie’s child.” He was gone almost as soon as he said it, but Rachel still felt the kiss and the warm tears that had fallen on her face.
Mr. Clare readily consented to spare his housekeeper, but the housekeeper was untoward, she was “busied in her housewife skep,” and would not stir. Alick was gone to Timber End, and Rachel was just talking of getting the schoolmaster’s wife as an escort, when Mr. Clare said—
Mr. Clare agreed to let his housekeeper off, but she was uncooperative; she was “busy with her household chores” and wouldn’t budge. Alick had gone to Timber End, and Rachel was just mentioning getting the schoolmaster’s wife to accompany her when Mr. Clare said—
“Pray are you above accepting my services?”
“Are you too good to accept my help?”
“You! Oh, uncle; thank you, but—”
“You! Oh, uncle; thank you, but—”
“What were your orders? Anybody with you, was it not? I flatter myself that I have some body, at least.”
“What were your instructions? You weren’t alone, right? I like to think I have someone, at least.”
“If Alick will not think I ought not!”
“If Alick thinks I shouldn’t, then I won’t!”
“The boy will not presume to object to what I do with you.”
“The boy won't dare to question what I do with you.”
“I do wish it very much,” said candid Rachel.
“I really wish that a lot,” said honest Rachel.
“Of course you do, my dear. Alick is not cured of a young man’s notion that babies are a sort of puppies. He is quite right not to let you run about London by yourself, but he will be quite satisfied if you find eyes and I find discretion.”
“Of course you do, my dear. Alick hasn’t gotten past the idea that babies are like puppies. He’s definitely right not to let you wander around London on your own, but he’ll be totally fine if you find the eyes and I find the sense.”
“But is it not very troublesome to you?”
“But isn’t it really bothersome for you?”
“It is a capital lark!” said Mr. Clare, with a zest that only the slang word could imply, removing all Rachel’s scruples, and in effect Mr. Clare did enjoy the spice of adventure in a most amusing way. He knew perfectly well how to manage, laid out the plan of operations, gave orders to the driver, went into all the shops, and was an effective assistant in the choice of material and even of embroidery. His touch and ear seemed to do more for him than many men’s eyes do for them; he heard odd scraps of conversation and retailed them with so much character; he had such pleasant colloquies with all in whose way he fell, and so thoroughly enjoyed the flow and babble of the full stream of life, that Rachel marvelled that the seclusion of his parsonage was bearable to him. He took her to lunch with an old friend, a lady who had devoted herself to the care of poor girls to be trained as servants, and Rachel had the first real sight of one of the many great and good works set on foot by personal and direct labour.
“It’s a total blast!” said Mr. Clare, with an enthusiasm that only the slang could express, shaking off all of Rachel’s concerns, and honestly, Mr. Clare really did find the thrill of adventure quite entertaining. He knew exactly how to handle things, laid out the plan, directed the driver, went into every shop, and was a great help in choosing materials and even embroidery. His sense of touch and hearing seemed to do more for him than what most men’s eyes do for them; he picked up on random bits of conversation and shared them with so much personality; he had such enjoyable chats with everyone he encountered, and he savored the vibrant chatter of everyday life so much that Rachel wondered how he could stand the isolation of his parsonage. He took her to lunch with an old friend, a woman who had dedicated herself to helping underprivileged girls train to be servants, and Rachel got her first real glimpse of one of the many noble and impactful initiatives created through personal involvement and hard work.
“If I had been sensible, I might have come to something like this!” she said.
“If I had been smart, I could have ended up with something like this!” she said.
“Do you wish to undo these last three months?”
“Do you want to take back these last three months?”
“No; I am not fit to be anything but an ordinary married woman, with an Alick to take care of me; but I am glad some people can be what I meant to be.”
“No; I’m not suited to be anything but an ordinary married woman, with an Alick to take care of me; but I’m glad some people can be what I wanted to be.”
“And you need not regret not being useful now,” said Mr. Clare. “Where should any of us be without you?”
“And you don’t need to feel bad about not being useful right now,” said Mr. Clare. “Where would any of us be without you?”
It had not occurred to Rachel, but she was certainly of far more positive use in the world at the present moment than ever she had bean in her most assuming maiden days.
It hadn't crossed Rachel's mind, but she was definitely more useful in the world right now than she ever was in her most pretentious youth.
Little Alexander was arrayed in all that could enhance his baby dignity, and Rachel was more than ever resolved to assert his superiority over “great frightful fine children,” resenting vehemently an innocent observation from Alick, that the small features and white skin promised sandiness of hair. Perhaps Alick delighted in saying such things for the sake of proving the “very womanhood” of his Clever Woman. Rachel hung back, afraid of the presentation, and would have sent her maid into the room with the child if Colonel Keith had not taken her in himself. Even yet she was not dexterous in handling the baby, her hands were both occupied, and her attention absorbed, and she could not speak, she felt it so mournful to show this frail motherless creature to a father more like its grandfather, and already almost on the verge of the grave. She came up to Lord Keith, and held the child to him in silence. He said, “Thank you,” and kissed not only the little one, but her own brow, and she kept the tears back with difficulty.
Little Alexander was dressed in everything that could enhance his baby dignity, and Rachel was more determined than ever to highlight his superiority over “great frighteningly fine children,” deeply resenting an innocent comment from Alick that the small features and fair skin suggested he might have sandy hair. Maybe Alick enjoyed saying such things to prove the “very womanhood” of his Clever Woman. Rachel hesitated, nervous about the presentation, and would have sent her maid into the room with the baby if Colonel Keith hadn't taken her in himself. Even then, she wasn’t skilled at handling the baby; her hands were occupied, her attention fully engaged, and she couldn't find the words because it felt so sad to show this fragile motherless child to a father who resembled its grandfather and was already close to the end of his life. She approached Lord Keith and silently held the baby out to him. He said, “Thank you,” and kissed not only the little one but also her brow, and she struggled to hold back her tears.
Colonel Keith gave her a chair and footstool, and she sat with the baby on her lap, while very few words were spoken. It was the Colonel who asked her to take off the hood that hid the head and brow, and who chiefly hazarded opinions as to likeness and colour of eyes. Lord Keith looked earnestly and sadly, but hardly made any observation, except that it looked healthier than he had been led to expect. He was sure it owed much to Mrs. Keith’s great care and kindness.
Colonel Keith offered her a chair and footstool, and she settled in with the baby on her lap, while hardly any words were exchanged. It was the Colonel who suggested she remove the hood that covered the baby's head and forehead, and he mostly expressed thoughts on the resemblance and eye color. Lord Keith looked on intently and somberly, but barely commented, other than to say the baby appeared healthier than he had anticipated. He believed that was largely due to Mrs. Keith's tremendous care and kindness.
Rachel feared he would not be able to part with his little son, and began to mention the arrangements she had contemplated in case he wished to keep the child at Timber End. On this, Lord Keith asked with some anxiety, if its presence were inconvenient to Mr. Clare; and being assured of the contrary, said, “Then while you are so kind as to watch over him, I much prefer that things should remain in their present state, than to bring him to a house like this. You do not object?”
Rachel worried that he wouldn't be able to let go of his little son, and she started to talk about the plans she had in mind if he wanted to keep the child at Timber End. In response, Lord Keith asked with some concern if having the child around was a problem for Mr. Clare; when he was assured it wasn't, he said, “Then as long as you’re kind enough to look after him, I really prefer things to stay as they are rather than bringing him to a place like this. You don't mind, do you?”
“Oh, no; I am so glad. I was only dreading the losing him. I thought Mrs. Menteith wished for him when he is old enough to travel.”
“Oh, no; I’m really glad. I was just worried about losing him. I thought Mrs. Menteith wanted him when he's old enough to travel.”
“Colin!” said Lord Keith, looking up sharply, “will nothing make the Menteiths understand that I would rather put out the child to nurse in a Highland hut than in that Babel of a nursery of theirs?”
“Colin!” Lord Keith exclaimed, looking up sharply, “will nothing make the Menteiths realize that I would rather send the child to be cared for in a Highland hut than in that chaotic nursery of theirs?”
Colin smiled and said, “Isabel does not easily accept an answer she dislikes.”
Colin smiled and said, “Isabel doesn’t easily accept an answer she doesn't like.”
“But remember, both of you,” continued Lord Keith, “that happen what may, this poor child is not to be in her charge. I’ve seen enough of her children left alone in perambulators in the sun. You will be in Edinburgh?” he added, turning to Rachel.
“But remember, both of you,” continued Lord Keith, “that no matter what happens, this poor child is not to be in her care. I’ve seen enough of her children left alone in strollers in the sun. You will be in Edinburgh?” he added, turning to Rachel.
“Yes, when Alick’s leave ends.”
"Yes, when Alick's time off ends."
“I shall return thither when this matter is over, I know I shall be better at home in Scotland, and if I winter in Edinburgh, may be we could make some arrangement for his being still under your eye.”
“I will go back there when this is all done; I know I’ll be happier at home in Scotland. If I spend the winter in Edinburgh, maybe we can figure out a way for him to still be under your watch.”
Rachel went home more elevated than she had been for months past.
Rachel went home feeling more uplifted than she had in months.
CHAPTER XXIX. AT LAST.
“I bid thee hail, not as in former days, Not as my chosen only, but my bride, My very bride, coming to make my house A glorious temple.” A. H. HALLAM.
“I greet you now, not as in the past, Not just as my one and only, but as my wife, My true wife, here to make my home A magnificent place.” A. H. HALLAM.
“Timber End, Littleworthy, September 10th.
Timber End, Littleworthy, September 10.
“Dear Miss Williams,—I must begin by entreating your forgiveness for addressing you in a manner for which perhaps you may be unprepared; but I trust you have always been aware, that any objections that I may have offered to my brother Colin’s attachment to yourself have never been personal, or owing to anything but an unfortunate complication of circumstances. These difficulties are, as no doubt he will explain to you, in great measure removed by the present condition of my family, which will enable me to make such settlements as I could wish in the ease of one so nearly connected with me; so that I am enabled to entreat of you at length to reward the persevering constancy so well deserved. I have a further, and a personal cause for wishing that the event should not be deferred, as regard for my feelings might have led you to propose. You are aware of the present state of my health, and that it has become expedient to make immediate arrangements for the future guardianship of my little boy. His uncles are of course his natural guardians, and I have unbounded confidence in both; but Alexander Keith’s profession renders it probable that he may not always be at hand, and I am therefore desirous of being able to nominate yourself, together with my brother, among the personal guardians. Indeed, I understand from Alexander Keith, that such was the express wish of his sister. I mention this as an additional motive to induce you to consent. For my own part, even without so stringent a cause, all that I have ever seen or known of yourself would inspire me with the desire that you should take a mother’s place towards my son. But you must be aware that such an appointment could only be made when you are already one of the family, and this it is that leads me to entreat you to overlook any appearance of precipitancy on my brother’s part, and return a favourable reply to the request, which with my complete sanction, he is about to address to you.
“Dear Miss Williams, — I must start by asking for your forgiveness for reaching out to you in a way that you might not expect; however, I hope you’ve always understood that any objections I may have had to my brother Colin’s feelings for you have never been personal and are only due to unfortunate circumstances. These difficulties are, as I’m sure he will explain, mostly resolved by the current situation of my family, which allows me to make the arrangements I wish for someone so closely connected to me. Therefore, I am finally able to ask you to reward the steadfast devotion that is so well-deserved. I also have a personal reason for wishing that this matter should not be delayed, as you might feel inclined to suggest out of respect for my feelings. You know the current state of my health and that it’s necessary to make immediate plans for the future guardianship of my little boy. His uncles are, of course, his natural guardians, and I have complete confidence in both of them; however, Alexander Keith's profession means he may not always be available, so I would like to nominate you, along with my brother, as one of the personal guardians. In fact, I understand from Alexander Keith that this was the express wish of his sister. I mention this as an extra reason to encourage you to agree. For my part, even without such a pressing reason, everything I’ve ever seen or known about you makes me wish for you to take on a motherly role for my son. But you should realize that such an appointment can only be made once you are already part of the family, and this is what leads me to ask you to overlook any signs of hastiness on my brother’s part and to respond positively to the request he is about to make to you with my full support.”
“Yes, Ermine Williams, forgive all that is past, and feel for an old, it may be, a dying man, and for a motherless infant. There is much to forget, but I trust to your overcoming any scruples, and giving me all the comfort in your power, in thinking of the poor child who has come into the world under such melancholy circumstances.
“Yes, Ermine Williams, forgive everything that has happened, and have compassion for an old, possibly dying man, and for a motherless baby. There is a lot to move on from, but I hope you can set aside any hesitations and offer me all the comfort you can while considering the poor child who has entered the world under such sad circumstances.
“Yours most truly, “Keith of Gowanbrae”
"Best, Keith of Gowanbrae"
“Poor Keith, he has given me his letter open, his real anxiety has been too much at last for his dignity; and now, my Ermine, what do you say to his entreaty? The state of the case is this. How soon this abscess may be ready for the operation is still uncertain, the surgeons think it will be in about three weeks, and in this interval he wishes to complete all his arrangements. In plain English, his strongest desire is to secure the poor little boy from falling into Menteith’s hands. Now, mine is a precarious life, and Alick and Rachel may of course be at the ends of the earth, so the point is that you shall be ‘one of the family,’ before the will is signed. Alick’s leave has been extended to the 1st of October, no more is possible, and he undertakes to nurse poor Keith for a fortnight from to-morrow, if you will consent to fulfil this same request within that time. After the 1st, I should have to leave you, but as soon as Keith is well enough to bear the journey, he wishes to return to Edinburgh, where he would be kindly attended to by Alick and Rachel all the winter. There, Ermine, your victory is come, your consent has been entreated at last by my brother, not for my sake, but as a personal favour to himself, because there is no woman in the world of whom he thinks so highly. For myself I say little. I grieve that you should be thus hurried and fluttered, and if Ailie thinks it would harm you, she must telegraph back to me not to come down, and I will try to teach myself patience by preaching it to Keith, but otherwise you will see me by four o’clock to-morrow. Every time I hear Rachel’s name, I think it ought to have been yours, and surely in this fourteenth year, lesser objections may give way. But persuasions are out of the question, you must be entirely led by your own feeling. If I could have seen you in July, this should not have come so suddenly at last. “Yours, more than ever, decide as you may,
“Poor Keith, he gave me his letter opened; his real anxiety has finally gotten the best of his dignity. So, my Ermine, what do you think about his request? Here’s the situation: it’s still unclear how soon this abscess will be ready for surgery. The surgeons think it’ll be in about three weeks, and during this time, he wants to finalize all his arrangements. In simple terms, his biggest wish is to make sure that the poor little boy doesn’t end up with Menteith. My life is uncertain, and Alick and Rachel might be miles away, so the idea is that you’ll be ‘part of the family’ before the will is signed. Alick’s leave has been extended to October 1st, which is as much as can be managed, and he’s agreed to take care of poor Keith for two weeks starting tomorrow if you agree to fulfill this request within that time frame. After October 1st, I’d have to leave, but as soon as Keith is well enough to travel, he wants to return to Edinburgh, where Alick and Rachel will take good care of him through the winter. There, Ermine, your moment has arrived; my brother has finally asked for your consent, not for my sake, but as a personal favor to himself, since he thinks so highly of you. As for me, I won’t say much. I regret that you’re being rushed and flustered, and if Ailie thinks it would harm you, she should send me a telegram not to come down, and I’ll try to learn patience by talking to Keith. Otherwise, you’ll see me by four o’clock tomorrow. Every time I hear Rachel’s name, I think it should have been yours, and surely after fourteen years, smaller objections can be set aside. But persuasion is out of the question; you must follow your own feelings. If I could have seen you in July, this wouldn’t have come up so suddenly in the end. “Yours, more than ever, decide as you wish,
“Colin A Keith.
Colin A. Keith.
“P. S.—I am afraid Rose would hardly answer this purpose equally well.”
“P. S.—I’m afraid Rose wouldn’t be a good fit for this purpose either.”
Colonel Keith followed his letter at four o’clock, and entering his own study, found it in a cloud of smoke, in the midst of which he dimly discerned a long beard and thin visage absorbed in calculation.
Colonel Keith followed his letter at four o’clock and, entering his own study, found it filled with a cloud of smoke, in which he vaguely saw a long beard and thin face lost in thought.
“Edward! How is Ermine?”
“Edward! How's Ermine?”
“Oh?” (inquiringly) “Keith!” (as taken by surprise) “ah! you were to come home to-day. How are you?”
“Oh?” (curiously) “Keith!” (as if surprised) “Ah! You were supposed to come home today. How are you?”
“How is she? Has she had my letter?”
“How is she? Has she received my letter?”
“What letter? You write every day, I thought.”
“What letter? I thought you wrote every day.”
“The letter of yesterday. Have you heard nothing of it?”
“The letter from yesterday. Have you heard anything about it?”
“Not that I know of. Look here, Keith, I told you I was sure the platinum—”
“Not that I know of. Look, Keith, I told you I was sure the platinum—”
“Your brain is becoming platinum. I must go,” and the chemist remained with merely a general impression of having been interrupted.
“Your brain is becoming amazing. I have to leave,” and the chemist was left with just a vague sense of having been interrupted.
Next the Colonel met Rose, watching at his own gate, and this time his answer was more explicit.
Next, the Colonel ran into Rose, who was waiting at his own gate, and this time his response was clearer.
“Yes, Aunt Ermine said you were coming, and that I might meet you, but that I must let you come in alone, for she had not seen you so long, that she wanted you all to herself.”
“Yes, Aunt Ermine told me you were coming and that I could meet you, but I have to let you come in by yourself because she hasn’t seen you in so long and wants you all to herself.”
“And how is she; how has she been?”
“And how is she? How has she been?”
“She is well now,” said Rose, in the grave, grown-up way she always assumed when speaking of her aunt’s health; “but she has been having a good deal of her nervous headache this summer, and Lady Temple wanted her to see Mr. Frampton, but Aunt Ailie said it was only excitement and wear of spirits. Oh, I am glad you have come back! We have so wearied after you.”
“She’s doing well now,” said Rose, in the serious, mature tone she always used when talking about her aunt’s health; “but she’s had a lot of those nervous headaches this summer, and Lady Temple wanted her to see Mr. Frampton, but Aunt Ailie said it was just excitement and fatigue. Oh, I’m so glad you’re back! We’ve missed you a lot.”
Nevertheless Rose duteously loosed the hand to which she had been clinging till they came to the door; and as Colin Keith opened it, again he was met by the welcoming glances of the bright eyes. This time he did not pause till he was close to her, and kneeling on one knee beside her, he put his arm round her, and held her hands in his.
Nevertheless, Rose dutifully let go of the hand she had been holding until they reached the door; and as Colin Keith opened it, he was once again met by the warm gaze of her bright eyes. This time he didn't hesitate until he was right next to her, and kneeling beside her, he put his arm around her and held her hands in his.
The first words that passed were, “You had the letters?”
The first words that came out were, “Did you have the letters?”
“Colin, Colin, my one prayer has been, ‘Make Thy way plain before my face.’”
“Colin, Colin, my one wish has been, ‘Make Your path clear before me.’”
“And now it is?”
"And now it is?"
“The suspicion is gone; the displeasure is gone; the doubts are gone; and now there is nothing—nothing but the lameness and the poverty; and if you like the old cinder, Colin, that is your concern;” and she hid her face, with a sort of sobbing laugh.
“The suspicion is gone; the displeasure is gone; the doubts are gone; and now there is nothing—nothing but the lameness and the poverty; and if you like the old cinder, Colin, that’s your concern;” and she hid her face, with a sort of sobbing laugh.
“And even the haste; you consent to that?”
“And you’re okay with the rush?”
“I don’t feel it like haste,” she said, looking up with a smile, and then crimsoning.
“I don’t feel it like rushing,” she said, looking up with a smile, and then blushing.
“And Ailie gives leave, and thinks the hurry will not harm you?”
“And Ailie is okay with this, and thinks that being in a rush won't hurt you?”
“Ailie! O Colin, did you think I could tell any one of your letter, before you had had your answer?”
“Ailie! Oh Colin, did you really think I could tell anyone about your letter before you got your answer?”
“Then Edward is not so moonstruck as I thought him! And when shall it be, dearest? Give me as much time as you can. I must go back this day fortnight.”
“Then Edward isn't as lovesick as I thought! So when will it be, my dear? Give me as much time as you can. I have to go back in two weeks.”
“I suppose your expectations are not high in the matter of finery,” said Ermine, with a certain archness of voice.
“I guess your expectations aren’t too high when it comes to fancy stuff,” said Ermine, with a playful tone.
“Those eyes are all the finery I ever see.”
“Those eyes are the only beauty I ever notice.”
“Then if you will not be scandalized at my natural Sunday dress, I don’t see why this day week should not do as well as any other time.”
“Then if you won’t be shocked by my casual Sunday outfit, I don’t see why this week shouldn’t work just as well as any other time.”
“Ermine, you are the only woman I ever met totally free from nonsense.”
“Ermine, you’re the only woman I’ve ever met who is completely free of nonsense.”
“Take care, it is very unfeminine and disagreeable to be devoid of nonsense.”
“Be careful, it’s really unladylike and unpleasant to lack nonsense.”
“Very, and therefore you are talking it now! Ermine, how shall I thank you? Not only for the sake of the ease of mind to my poor brother; but in the scenes we are going through, a drop of happiness is wanted as a stimulant. When I looked at the young couple at Bishopsworthy, I often felt as if another half-year of suspense was more than I could bear, and that I must ask you to help me through with at least a definite hope.”
“Absolutely, and that's why you’re discussing it now! Ermine, how can I thank you? Not just for easing my poor brother's mind, but in the situations we’re facing, a little bit of happiness is needed as motivation. When I saw the young couple at Bishopsworthy, I often felt like another half-year of uncertainty was more than I could handle, and I needed to ask you to help me get through this with at least some clear hope.”
“Ah! you have gone through a great deal I am sure it has been a time of great trouble.”
“Wow! You've been through a lot, and I'm sure it’s been a really tough time.”
“Indeed it has. The suffering has become unceasing and often most severe, and there is grievous depression of spirits; I could not have left him even for a day, if he had not been so fervently bent on this.”
“Indeed it has. The suffering has become endless and often very intense, and there is a deep sadness; I couldn’t have left him even for a day if he hadn’t been so determined about this.”
“Is he feeling his loss more acutely than at first?”
“Is he feeling his loss more intensely than before?”
“Not so much that, as for the poor little boy, who is a heavy burthen on his mind. He has lived in such a state of shrewd distrust that he has no power of confidence, and his complications for making all the boy’s guardians check one another till we come to a dead lock, and to make provision for Isabel out of Menteith’s reach, are enough to distract the brain of a man in health.”
“Not so much that, as for the poor little boy, who weighs heavily on his mind. He has lived with such deep distrust that he can’t trust anyone, and his efforts to make all the boy’s guardians distrust each other have led to a deadlock, plus trying to set up provisions for Isabel out of Menteith’s reach, are enough to drive a healthy person crazy.”
“Is he fond of the child?”
“Does he care about the child?”
“It is an oppressive care to him, and he only once has made up his mind to see it, though it is never off his mind, and it is very curious how from the first he has been resolved on your taking charge of it. It is the most real testimony he could give you.”
“It weighs heavily on him, and he has only decided once to confront it, even though it’s always on his mind. It’s interesting how, from the very beginning, he has been determined for you to handle it. It’s the most genuine sign of trust he could give you.”
“It is very comfortable not to be brought in like an enemy in spite of him, as even a year ago I could have been proud to do.”
“It’s really nice not to be treated like an enemy despite him, like I could have proudly done just a year ago.”
“And I to have brought you,” he answered, “but it is far better as it is. He is very cordial, and wants to give up the Auchinvar estate to me; indeed, he told me that he always meant me to have it as soon as I had washed my hands of you—you wicked syren—but I think you will agree with me that he had better leave it to his daughter Mary, who has nothing. We never reckoned on it.”
“And I’ve brought you,” he replied, “but honestly, it’s better this way. He’s really friendly and wants to hand over the Auchinvar estate to me; in fact, he told me he always intended for me to have it as soon as I was done with you—you wicked siren—but I think you’ll agree with me that he should leave it to his daughter Mary, who has nothing. We never counted on it.”
“Nor on anything else,” said Ermine, smiling.
“Nor on anything else,” Ermine said, smiling.
“You have never heard my ways and means,” he said, “and as a prudent woman you ought, you know. See,” taking out his tablets, “here is my calculation.”
“You’ve never heard my methods,” he said, “and as a smart woman you really should. Look,” pulling out his notebook, “here are my calculations.”
“All that!”
"All of that!"
“On the staff in India there were good opportunities of saving; then out of that sum I bought the house, and with my half-pay, our income will be very fair, and there would be a pension afterwards for you. This seems to me all we can reasonably want.”
“On the staff in India, there were great opportunities to save; then with that amount, I bought the house, and with my half-pay, our income will be decent, and there will be a pension for you later. This seems to me to be all we can reasonably want.”
“Unless I became like ‘die Ilsebill’ in the German tale. After four years of living from hand to mouth, this will be like untold gold. To wish to be above strict economy in wheeled chairs has seemed like perilous discontent in Rose and me.”
“Unless I became like ‘die Ilsebill’ in the German story. After four years of living paycheck to paycheck, this will feel like a fortune. Wanting to go beyond strict budgeting for wheelchairs has felt like dangerous restlessness for Rose and me.”
“I have ventured on the extravagance of taking the ponies and little carriage off my brother’s hands, it is low enough for you, and I shall teach Rose to ride one of the ponies with me.”
“I have decided to take the ponies and the little carriage off my brother’s hands; it’s casual enough for you, and I’ll teach Rose to ride one of the ponies with me.”
“The dear little Rose! But, Colin, there is a dreadful whisper about her going with her father, and Ailie too! You see now his character is cleared, he has been offered a really lucrative post, so that he could have them with him.”
“The sweet little Rose! But, Colin, there’s a terrible rumor about her going with her dad, and Ailie too! Now that his name is cleared, he’s been offered a great job, so he could actually have them with him.”
“Does he wish it?”
"Does he want it?"
“I dare not ask. I must be passive or I shall be selfish. You are all my world, and Edward has no one. Make them settle it without me. Talk of something else! Tell me how your brother is to be taken care of.”
“I can’t bring myself to ask. I have to be passive or I’ll be selfish. You all are my entire world, and Edward has no one. Let them figure it out without me. Let’s talk about something else! Tell me how your brother is going to be taken care of.”
“There cannot be a better nurse than Alick Keith; and Ferguson, the agent, is there, getting directions from Keith whenever he can bear it. I am best out of the way of all that. I have said once for all that I will do anything for them except live at Gowanbrae, and I am sick of demonstrating that the poor child’s existence is the greatest possible relief to me; and I hope now not to go back till the whole is settled and done with.”
“There can’t be a better nurse than Alick Keith, and Ferguson, the agent, is there, getting instructions from Keith whenever he can handle it. I’m better off staying out of all that. I’ve made it clear that I will do anything for them except live at Gowanbrae, and I’m tired of proving that the poor kid’s presence is the biggest relief for me; and I hope not to return until everything is settled and wrapped up.”
“You look regularly worn out with the discussions!”
“You look constantly exhausted from all the discussions!”
“It was an endless business! The only refreshment was in now and then getting over to Bishopsworthy.”
“It was a never-ending task! The only break we got was occasionally heading over to Bishopsworthy.”
“What? to Rachel?” said Ermine archly.
“What? to Rachel?” Ermine said playfully.
“Rachel is showing to great advantage. I did not think it was in her to be so devoted to the child, and it is beautiful to see her and Mr. Clare together.”
“Rachel is looking really good. I didn’t think she had it in her to be so dedicated to the child, and it’s wonderful to see her and Mr. Clare together.”
“There’s a triumph,” said Ermine, smiling. “Do you grant that the happy medium is reached, that Alick should learn to open his eyes and Rachel to shut hers?”
“There’s a triumph,” said Ermine, smiling. “Do you agree that we’ve found the happy medium, that Alick should learn to open his eyes and Rachel to close hers?”
“Well! Her eyes are better, but he, poor lad, has been in no spirits to open his very wide. The loss of his sister went very deep, and those aguish attacks, though they become much slighter, make him look wretchedly ill. I should have doubted about leaving him in charge in his present state, but that he was urgent on me, and he is spared all the night nursing. Any way, I must not leave him longer than I can help. I may have one week with you at home—at our home, Ermine.”
“Well! Her eyes are better, but he, poor guy, hasn’t had the energy to open his very wide. The loss of his sister hit him hard, and those fever attacks, although they’ve lessened a lot, make him look terribly sick. I would have been hesitant to leave him in charge in his current state, but he insisted, and he’s avoiding all the night nursing. In any case, I can’t leave him for longer than absolutely necessary. I might have one week with you at home—at our home, Ermine.”
“And let us make the most of that,” said Ermine, quickly.
“And let’s make the most of that,” said Ermine, quickly.
Meanwhile Alison, sore and sick at heart, wandered on the esplanade, foreboding that the blow was coming that she ought to rejoice at, if her love could only be more unselfish. At last the Colonel joined her, and, as usual, his tone of consideration cheered and supported her when in actual conference with him, and as he explained his plans, he added that he hoped there would be scarcely any interruption to her intercourse with her sister.
Meanwhile, Alison, feeling hurt and downhearted, wandered along the promenade, sensing that the moment she should be happy about was approaching, if only her love could be more selfless. Finally, the Colonel joined her, and, as always, his considerate tone lifted her spirits during their conversation. As he laid out his plans, he also mentioned that he hoped there wouldn't be much interruption to her time with her sister.
“You know,” she said abruptly, “that we could go to Ekaterinburg.”
"You know," she said suddenly, "we could go to Ekaterinburg."
“And what is your feeling about it? Remember, Ailie, that I am your brother too.” And as she hesitated, “your feelings—no doubt you are in many minds!”
“And how do you feel about it? Remember, Ailie, I’m your brother as well.” And as she paused, “your feelings—I'm sure you’re feeling a lot of different things!”
“Ah, yes; I never settled anything without Ermine, and she will not help me now. And she has been so worn with the excitement and anxiety of all this long detention of yours, that I don’t dare to say a word that could prey on her.”
“Ah, yes; I never made any decisions without Ermine, and she won't help me now. She has been so drained by the stress and worry from your long detention that I don't want to say anything that might upset her.”
“In fact, you would chiefly be decided by Edward’s own wishes.”
“In reality, your fate would mostly depend on what Edward wanted.”
“If I were sure of them,” sighed poor Alison; “but he lives on experiments, and can hardly detach himself from them even to attend to Ermine herself. I don’t know whether we should be a comfort or a burthen, and he would be afraid to hurt our feelings by telling the truth. I have been longing to consult you who have seen him at that place in Russia.”
“If I were sure about them,” sighed poor Alison; “but he’s all about experiments and can barely tear himself away from them even to focus on Ermine. I’m not sure if we’d be a help or a hassle, and he’d probably worry about hurting our feelings by being honest. I’ve been wanting to talk to you since you’ve seen him at that place in Russia.”
“And indeed, Ailie, he is so wedded to smoke and calculations, and so averse to this sublunary world, that though your being with him might be beneficial, still I greatly question whether the risk of carrying poor little Rose to so remote a place in such a climate, would be desirable. If he were pining to have a home made for him, it would be worth doing; as it is, the sacrifice would be disproportioned.”
“And really, Ailie, he’s so attached to smoke and numbers, and so indifferent to this earthly world, that even though being with him might be helpful, I seriously doubt whether it would be wise to take poor little Rose to such a far-off place in this kind of weather. If he were longing for a home, it would be worth it; as it stands, the sacrifice wouldn’t be worth it.”
“It would be no sacrifice if he only wanted us.”
“It wouldn’t be a sacrifice if he only wanted us.”
“Where you are wanted is here. Ermine wants you. I want you. The Temples want you.”
“Where you’re needed is here. Ermine needs you. I need you. The Temples need you.”
“Now, Colin, tell me truly. Edward feels as I do, and Dr. Long spoke seriously of it. Will not my present position do you and Ermine harm among your friends?”
“Now, Colin, tell me the truth. Edward feels the same way I do, and Dr. Long talked about it seriously. Won't my current situation hurt you and Ermine with your friends?”
“With no friend we wish to make or keep!”
“With no friend we want to make or keep!”
“If I do remain,” continued Alison, “it must be as I am. I would not live upon you, even if you asked me, which you have too much sense to do; and though dear Lady Temple is everything to me, and wants me to forget that I am her governess, that would be a mere shuffle, but if it is best for you that I should give it up, and go out, say so at once.”
“If I stay,” Allison went on, “it has to be as I am. I wouldn’t want to depend on you, even if you asked me to, which I know you’re too sensible to do; and even though dear Lady Temple means everything to me and wants me to forget that I’m her governess, that would just be pretending. But if it’s better for you that I give it up and leave, just say so right away.”
“Best for me to have eight Temples thrown on my hands, all in despair! To have you at Myrtlewood is an infinite relief to me, both on their account and Ermine’s. You should not suspect a penniless Scotsman of such airs, Ailie.”
“It's better for me to deal with eight Temples needing help, all in a bad way! Having you at Myrtlewood is such a huge relief for me, both for them and for Ermine. You shouldn't think a broke Scotsman would act all high and mighty, Ailie.”
“Not you, Colin, but your family.”
“Not you, Colin, but your family.”
“Isabel Menteith thinks a glass-blower was your father, and Mauleverer your brother, so yours is by far the most respectable profession. No, indeed, my family might be thankful to have any one in it who could do as you have done.”
“Isabel Menteith thinks a glassblower was your father, and Mauleverer is your brother, so yours is definitely the most respectable profession. No, really, my family would be grateful to have anyone in it who could do what you have done.”
Alison’s scruples were thus disposed of, and when Edward’s brain cleared itself from platinum, he showed himself satisfied with the decision, though he insisted on henceforth sending home a sum sufficient for his daughter’s expenses, and once said something that could be construed into a hope of spending a quiet old age with her and his sister; but at present he was manifestly out of his element, and was bent on returning to Ekaterinburg immediately after the marriage.
Alison's concerns were settled, and when Edward’s mind cleared of its confusion, he appeared content with the decision. Still, he made it a point to send home enough money for his daughter’s expenses and once mentioned a hope of spending a peaceful old age with her and his sister. However, it was clear that he felt out of place and was determined to head back to Ekaterinburg right after the wedding.
His presence was but a qualified pleasure. Naturally shy and absent, his broken spirits and removal from domestic life, and from society, had exaggerated his peculiarities; and under the pressure of misfortune, caused in a great measure by his own negligence, he had completely given way, without a particle of his sister’s patience or buoyancy, and had merely striven to drown his troubles in engrossing problems of his favourite pursuit, till the habit of abstraction had become too confirmed to be shaken off. When the blot on his name was removed, he was indeed sensible that he was no longer an exile, but he could not resume his old standing, friendships rudely severed could not be re-united; his absorption had grown by indulgence; old interests had passed away; needful conformity to social habits was irksome, and even his foreign manner and appearance testified to his entire unfitness for English life.
His presence was a mixed blessing. Naturally shy and distant, his broken spirit and detachment from home and society had amplified his quirks. Under the weight of misfortune, largely due to his own carelessness, he had completely succumbed to his struggles, lacking any of his sister’s patience or resilience. He simply tried to drown his troubles in his intense focus on his favorite pursuits, until the habit of being lost in thought became so ingrained that he couldn't shake it off. When the stain on his reputation was lifted, he realized he was no longer an outcast, but he couldn't regain his former status; friendships that had been abruptly cut off couldn't be mended. His isolation had deepened over time; old interests had faded away, and the necessary conformity to social norms felt tedious. Even his foreign manner and appearance showed he was entirely unfit for English life.
Tibbie was in constant dread of his burning the house down, so incalculable and preposterous were his hours, and the Colonel, longing to render the house a perfect shrine for his bride, found it hard to tolerate the fumes with which her brother saturated it. If he had been sure that opium formed no portion of Edward’s solace, his counsel to Alison would have been less decisive. To poor little Rose, her father was an abiding perplexity and distress; she wanted to love him, and felt it absolute naughtiness to be constantly disappointed by his insensibility to her approaches, or else repelled and disgusted by that vice of the Russian sheep. And a vague hint of being transported to the Ural mountains, away from Aunt Ermine, had haunted her of late more dreadfully than even the lions of old; so that the relief was ineffable when her dear Colonel confided to her that she was to be his niece and Aunt Ermine’s handmaid, sent her to consult with Tibbie on her new apartment, and invited Augustus to the most eligible hole in the garden. The grotto that Rose, Conrade, and Francis proceeded to erect with pebbles and shells, was likely to prove as alarming to that respectable reptile as a model cottage to an Irish peasant.
Tibbie was constantly worried that he would burn the house down, given how reckless he was with his time, and the Colonel, who wanted to make the house a perfect sanctuary for his bride, struggled to deal with the fumes her brother filled it with. If he had been sure that opium wasn’t part of Edward’s coping methods, his advice to Alison would have been less firm. Little Rose found her father to be a constant source of confusion and pain; she wanted to love him but felt it was terrible to be repeatedly let down by his inability to respond to her attempts to connect, or to feel repulsed by his "Vice of the Russian Sheep." Recently, even the thought of being sent away to the Ural Mountains, far from Aunt Ermine, haunted her more frighteningly than the lions of old; so, it was an immense relief when her beloved Colonel told her she would be his niece and Aunt Ermine's attendant, sending her to talk to Tibbie about her new room and inviting Augustus to the best spot in the garden. The grotto that Rose, Conrade, and Francis began to build with pebbles and shells was sure to be as frightening to that respectable creature as a model cottage would be to an Irish peasant.
Ermine had dropped all scruples about Rose’s intercourse with other children, and the feeling that she might associate with them on equal terms, perhaps, was the most complete assurance of Edward’s restoration. She was glad that companionship should render the little maiden more active and childlike, for Edward’s abstraction had made her believe that there might be danger in indulging the dreaminess of the imaginative child.
Ermine had completely set aside any concerns about Rose's interactions with other kids, and the thought that she could play with them as equals was the best sign that Edward would recover. She was happy that friendship would make the little girl more lively and playful, because Edward's detachment had made her think there might be risks in encouraging the imaginative child's daydreams.
No one welcomed the removal of these restraints more warmly than Lady Temple. She was perhaps the happiest of the happy, for with her there was no drawback, no sorrow, no parting to fear. Her first impulse, when Colonel Keith came to tell her his plans, was to seize on hat and shawl, and rush down to Mackarel Lane to kiss Ermine with all her heart, and tell her that “it was the most delightful thing of her to have consented at last, for nobody deserved so well to be happy as that dear Colonel;” and then she clung to Alison, declaring that now she should have her all to herself, and if she would only come to Myrtlewood, she would do her very best to make her comfortable there, and it should be her home—her home always.
No one was happier about getting rid of these restrictions than Lady Temple. She was probably the happiest of all, because she had nothing holding her back, no sadness, and no goodbyes to worry about. Her first reaction when Colonel Keith came to share his plans was to grab her hat and shawl and rush over to Mackarel Lane to hug Ermine with all her heart. She wanted to tell her that “it was the most wonderful thing for her to finally agree, because nobody deserved to be happy more than that dear Colonel.” Then she turned to Alison, insisting that now she would have her all to herself, and if she just came to Myrtlewood, she would do everything she could to make her feel at home there, and it would always be her home.
“In fact,” said Ermine, afterwards to the Colonel, “when you go to Avoncester, I think you may as well get a licence for the wedding of Alison Williams and Fanny Temple at the same time. There has been quite a courtship on the lady’s part.”
“In fact,” said Ermine later to the Colonel, “when you go to Avoncester, you might as well get a license for the wedding of Alison Williams and Fanny Temple at the same time. There’s been quite a courtship on the lady’s part.”
The courtship had been the more ardent from Fanny’s alarm lest the brother should deprive her of Alison; and when she found her fears groundless, she thanked him with such fervour, and talked so eagerly of his sister’s excellences that she roused him into a lucid interval, in which he told Colonel Keith that Lady Temple might give him an idea of the style of woman that Lucy had been. Indeed, Colin began to think that it was as well that he was so well wrapped up in smoke and chemistry, otherwise another might have been added to the list of Lady Temple’s hopeless adorers. The person least satisfied was Tibbie, who could not get over the speediness of the marriage, nor forgive the injury to Miss Williams, “of bringing her hame like any pleughman’s wife, wantin’ a honeymoon trip, forbye providin’ hersel’ with weddin’ braws conformable. Gin folk tak’ sic daft notions aff the English, they’d be mair wise like to bide at hame, an’ that’s my way o’ thinkin’.”
The courtship had been more intense because Fanny was worried that the brother might take Alison away from her; when she realized her fears were unfounded, she thanked him with so much enthusiasm and spoke so passionately about his sister’s virtues that she got him into a clear moment, during which he told Colonel Keith that Lady Temple could give him an idea of the kind of woman Lucy used to be. In fact, Colin started to think that it was for the best that he was so caught up in smoke and chemistry, or else he might have been added to the list of Lady Temple’s hopeless admirers. The person who was least satisfied was Tibbie, who couldn’t get over how quickly the marriage happened and couldn’t forgive the slight to Miss Williams, “bringing her home like any peasant’s wife, without a honeymoon trip, not to mention providing herself with wedding clothes accordingly. If people pick up such foolish ideas from the English, they’d be better off staying at home, and that’s what I think.”
Crusty as she was, there was no danger of her not giving her warmest welcome, and thus the morning came. Tibbie had donned her cap, with white satin ribbons, and made of lace once belonging to the only heiress who had ever brought wealth to the Keiths. Edward Williams, all his goods packed up, had gone to join his sisters, and the Colonel, only perceptibly differing from his daily aspect in having a hat free from crape, was opening all the windows in hopes that a thorough draft would remove the last of the tobacco, when the letters were brought in, and among them one of the black bordered bulletins from Littleworthy, which ordinarily arrived by the second post. It was a hurried note, evidently dashed off to catch the morning mail.
Crusty as she was, there was no chance she wouldn't give her warmest welcome, and so the morning arrived. Tibbie had put on her cap, with white satin ribbons, made of lace that once belonged to the only heiress who ever brought wealth to the Keiths. Edward Williams had packed up all his things and left to join his sisters, while the Colonel, looking only slightly different from his usual self with a hat that didn’t have any mourning black on it, was opening all the windows hoping a good draft would clear out the last of the tobacco smell. Then the letters came in, and among them was one of the black-bordered notices from Littleworthy, which usually arrived with the second post. It was a rushed note, clearly written quickly to catch the morning mail.
My Dear Colonel,—Alick tells me to write in haste to catch the morning post, and beg you to telegraph the instant your wedding is over. The doctors see cause to hasten their measures, but your brother will have nothing done till the will is signed. He and Alick both desire you will not come, but it is getting to be far too much for Alick. I would tell you more if there were time before the post goes. Love to dear Ermine. Very sincerely yours, R. KEITH.
My Dear Colonel,—Alick asked me to write quickly to make the morning post, and to ask you to send a telegram as soon as your wedding is over. The doctors believe they need to act fast, but your brother won't do anything until the will is signed. Both he and Alick really want you to stay away, but it's becoming too much for Alick to handle. I would say more if there were time before the post leaves. Send my love to dear Ermine. Very sincerely yours, R. KEITH.
There was so shocked and startled a look on Colin’s face, that Tibbie believed that his brother must be dead, and when in a few almost inaudible words he told her that he must start for Bishopsworthy by the afternoon train, she fairly began to scold, partly by way of working off the irritation left by her alarm. “The lad’s clean demented! Heard ye ever the like, to rin awa’ frae his new-made wife afore the blessin’s been weel spoke; an’ a’ for the whimsie of that daft English lassie that made siccan a piece of work wi’ her cantrips.”
Colin had such a shocked and startled expression on his face that Tibbie thought her brother must be dead. When he quietly told her, in almost inaudible words, that he had to catch the afternoon train to Bishopsworthy, she couldn’t help but start scolding him, partly to release the irritation left from her earlier panic. “The boy’s completely lost it! Have you ever heard of someone running away from his new wife before the blessings are properly said? All because of that silly English girl who made such a fuss with her tricks.”
“I am afraid she is right now,” said the Colonel, “and my brother must not be left any longer.”
“I’m afraid she’s right now,” said the Colonel, “and my brother can’t be left any longer.”
“Hout awa, Maister Colin, his lordship has come between you and your luve oft enough already, without partin’ ye at the very church door. Ye would na have the English cast up to us, that one of your name did na ken better what was fittin by his bride!”
“Hurry up, Master Colin, his lordship has interfered between you and your love often enough already, without separating you right at the church door. You wouldn’t want the English to remind us that someone with your name didn’t know better about what was appropriate for his bride!”
“My bride must be the judge, Tibbie. You shall see whether she bids me stay,” said Colin, a little restored by his amusement at her anxiety for his honour among the English. “Now desire Smith to meet me at the church door, and ride at once from thence to Avoncester; and get your face ready to give a cheerful welcome, Tibbie. Let her have that, at least, whatever may come after.”
“My bride has to decide, Tibbie. You’ll see if she tells me to stay,” Colin said, slightly lifted by his amusement at her worry about his reputation among the English. “Now tell Smith to meet me at the church door and ride straight to Avoncester; and get your face ready to give a warm welcome, Tibbie. At least let her have that, no matter what happens next.”
Tibbie looked after him, and shook her head, understanding from her ain laddie’s pallid check, and resolute lip, nay, in the very sound of his footfall, how sore was his trial, and with one-sided compassion she muttered, “Telegrafted awa on his vera weddin’ day. His Lordship’ll be the death o’ them baith before he’s done.”
Tibbie watched him and shook her head, realizing from her own son's pale face and firm lips, even in the way he walked, how tough his struggle was. With a one-sided sympathy, she murmured, "Telegraphed away on his very wedding day. His Lordship will be the end of them both before he’s done."
As it was in every way desirable that the wedding should be unexpected by Avonmonth in general, it was to take place at the close of the ordinary morning service, and Ermine in her usual seat within the vestry, was screened from knowing how late was Colin’s entrance, or seeing the determined composure that would to her eyes have betrayed how much shaken he was. He was completely himself again by the time the congregation dispersed, leaving only Grace Curtis, Lady Temple, and the little best man, Conrade, a goodly sight in his grey suit and scarlet hose. Then came the slow movement from the vestry, the only really bridal-looking figure being Rose in white muslin and white ribbons; walking timidly and somewhat in awe beside her younger aunt; while her father upheld and guided the elder. Both were in quiet, soft, dark dresses, and straw bonnets, but over hers Ermine wore the small though exquisite Brussels lace veil that had first appeared at her mother’s wedding; and thankful joy and peaceful awe looked so lovely on her noble brow, deep, soft dark eyes, and the more finely moulded, because somewhat worn, features; and so beauteously deepened was the carnation on her cheek, that Mr. Mitchell ever after maintained that he had never married any one to compare with that thirty-three years’ old bride upon crutches, and, as he reported to his wife, in no dress at all.
Since it was important for the wedding to be a surprise to Avonmonth in general, it was scheduled to happen at the end of the regular morning service. Ermine, seated in her usual spot in the vestry, was unaware of how late Colin was or of the calm determination on his face that would have revealed how shaken he truly was. By the time the congregation left, he had regained his composure, with only Grace Curtis, Lady Temple, and the little best man, Conrade, still present, looking charming in his gray suit and red stockings. Then came the slow procession from the vestry, with the only truly bridal figure being Rose in white muslin and white ribbons; she walked shyly and somewhat nervously next to her younger aunt, while her father supported and guided the elder. Both wore soft, dark dresses and straw bonnets, but Ermine added the small yet exquisite Brussels lace veil that had first been worn at her mother’s wedding. Grateful joy and serene awe made her look so beautiful, her noble brow, deep, soft dark eyes, and the more refined features that came from age and experience. The blush on her cheek was so stunning that Mr. Mitchell would always claim he had never married anyone who compared to that thirty-three-year-old bride on crutches, who, as he told his wife, was in no dress at all.
Her brother, who supported her all the time she stood, was infinitely more nervous than she was. Her native grace and dignity, and absence of all false shame entirely covered her helplessness, and in her earnestness, she had no room for confusion; her only quivering of voice was caught for one moment from the tremulous intensity of feeling that Colin Keith could not wholly keep from thrilling in his tones, as he at last proclaimed his right to love and to cherish her for whom he had so long persevered.
Her brother, who backed her up the entire time she stood, was way more anxious than she was. Her natural grace and dignity, along with her lack of false shame, completely masked her vulnerability, and in her sincerity, she didn’t have space for confusion; the only tremor in her voice came for a brief moment from the intense emotions that Colin Keith couldn’t fully hide in his tone as he finally declared his right to love and cherish her for whom he had fought for so long.
Unobserved, he filled up the half-written despatch with the same pen with which he signed the register, and sent Conrade to the door with it to his already mounted messenger. Then assuming Edward’s place as Ermine’s supporter, he led her to the door, seated her in her wheeled chair, and silently handing Rachel’s note as his explanation to Alison, he turned away, and walked alone by Ermine’s side to his own house. Still silent, he took her into the bright drawing-room he had so long planned for her, and seated her in her own peculiar chair. Then his first words were, “Thank God for this!”
Unnoticed, he finished the half-written message with the same pen he used to sign the register and sent Conrade to the door with it to his already-mounted messenger. Then, taking Edward’s place as Ermine’s supporter, he guided her to the door, seated her in her wheelchair, and silently handed Rachel’s note to Alison as his explanation. He turned away and walked alone by Ermine’s side to his own house. Still quiet, he brought her into the bright living room he had envisioned for her and settled her into her special chair. His first words were, “Thank God for this!”
She knew his face. “Colin, your brother is worse?” He bent his head, he could not speak.
She recognized his face. “Colin, is your brother doing worse?” He lowered his head, unable to respond.
“And you have to go to him! This very day?”
“And you have to go see him! Today?”
“Ermine, you must decide. You are at last my first duty!”
“Ermine, you have to make a choice. You are finally my top priority!”
“That means that you know you ought to go. Tell me what it is.”
"That means you know you should go. Just tell me what it is."
He told the substance of the note, ending with, “If you could come with me!”
He shared the main points of the note, finishing with, “If you could come with me!”
“I would if I should not be a tie and hindrance. No, I must not do that; but here I am, Colin, here I am. And it is all true—it has all come right at last! All we waited for. Nothing has ever been like this.”
“I would if I wouldn’t be a burden. No, I can’t do that; but here I am, Colin, here I am. And it’s all true—it’s all worked out perfectly at last! Everything we waited for. Nothing has ever been like this.”
She was the stronger. Tears, as much of loving thankfulness as of overflowing disappointment, rushed into his eyes at such a fulfilment of the purpose that he had carried with him by sea and land, in battle and sickness, through all the years of his manhood. And withal her one thought was to infuse in its strongest measure the drop of happiness that was to sustain him through the scenes that awaited him, to make him feel her indeed his wife, and to brighten him with the sunbeam face that she knew had power to cheer him. Rallying her playfulness, she took off her bonnet, and said as she settled her hair, “There, that is being at home! Take my shawl, yes, and these white gloves, and put them out of sight, that I may not feel like a visitor, and that you may see how I shall look when you come back. Do you know, I think your being out of the way will be rather a gain, for there will be a tremendous feminine bustle with the fitting of our possessions.”
She was the stronger one. Tears, a mix of loving gratitude and overwhelming disappointment, filled his eyes at the realization of a dream he had carried with him across the sea and land, through battles and sickness, over all the years of his adulthood. Her only thought was to bring him the deepest sense of happiness that would support him through what lay ahead, to make him truly feel like her husband, and to brighten him with the radiant smile she knew could uplift him. Gathering her playfulness, she took off her bonnet and said as she adjusted her hair, “There, that feels like home! Take my shawl, yes, and these white gloves, and put them away so I don’t feel like a guest, and so you can see how I’ll look when you come back. You know, I think your being away might actually be a good thing, because there will be a lot of busy women organizing our things.”
Her smile awoke a responsive look, and she began to gaze round and admire, feeling it safest to skim on the surface; and he could not but be gratified by her appreciation of the pains spent upon this, her especial home. He had recovered himself again by the time these few sentences had passed; they discussed the few needful arrangements required by his departure, and Tibbie presently found them so cheerful that she was quite scandalized, and when Ermine held out her hands, saying, “What Tibbie, won’t you come and kiss me, and wish me joy?” she exclaimed—
Her smile sparked a warm look from him, and she started to look around and appreciate everything, feeling it was safest to stay lighthearted; he couldn't help but feel pleased by her admiration for the effort put into making this her special home. By the time they had exchanged these few sentences, he had composed himself again; they talked about the simple arrangements needed for his departure, and Tibbie soon found them so cheerful that she was quite taken aback, and when Ermine reached out her hands, saying, “What Tibbie, won't you come and kiss me and wish me joy?” she exclaimed—
“Wish ye joy! It’s like me to wish ye joy an yer lad hurled awa frae yer side i’ the blink o’ an ee, by thae wild telegrams. I dinna see what joy’s to come o’t; it’s clean again the Scripture!”
“Wishing you happiness! It’s just like me to wish you joy when your guy was suddenly taken away from you in the blink of an eye by those crazy telegrams. I don’t see what kind of joy can come from that; it’s completely against the scripture!”
“I told you I had left it to her to decide, Tibbie,” said the Colonel.
“I told you I left it up to her to decide, Tibbie,” said the Colonel.
“Weel, an what wad ye hae the puir leddy say? She kens what sorts ye, when the head of yer name is sick an lyin’ among thae English loons that hae brocht him to siccan a pass.”
“Weel, what do you want the poor lady to say? She knows what you are like when the head of your family is sick and lying among those English guys who have brought him to such a state.”
“Right, Tibbie,” exclaimed Ermine, greatly amused at the unexpected turn, purely for the sake of putting Maister Colin in the wrong. “If a gentleman won’t be content without a bride who can’t walk, he must take the consequence, and take his wedding trip by himself! It is my belief, Tibbie, as I have just been telling him, that you and I shall get the house in all the better order for having him off our hands, just at first,” she added, with a look of intelligence.
“Right, Tibbie,” Ermine said, clearly entertained by the unexpected twist, just to put Maister Colin in a tight spot. “If a gentleman can’t be happy without a bride who can’t walk, he’ll have to deal with the consequences and go on his honeymoon alone! I think, Tibbie, as I just told him, that you and I will manage to get the house in much better shape with him out of the way, at least for now,” she added, with a knowing look.
“Deed, an maybe we shall,” responded Tibbie, with profound satisfaction. “He was aye a camsteary child when there was any wark on hand.”
“Indeed, maybe we will,” replied Tibbie, with great satisfaction. “He was always a contrary child when there was any work to be done.”
Colin could not help laughing, and when once this had been effected, Ermine felt that his depression had been sufficiently met, and that she might venture on deeper, and more serious sympathy, befitting the chastened, thankful feelings with which they hailed the crowning of their youthful love, the fulfilment of the hopes and prayers that the one had persisted in through doubt and change, the other had striven to resign into the All-wise Hands.
Colin couldn’t help but laugh, and once that happened, Ermine felt that his sadness had been addressed enough that she could risk offering deeper, more genuine sympathy, fitting the calm, grateful feelings they shared as they celebrated the peak of their young love, the realization of the hopes and prayers that one had held onto through uncertainty and change, while the other had tried to surrender to the All-wise Hands.
They had an early meal together, chiefly for the sake of his wheeling her to the head of his table, and “seeing how she looked there,” and then the inexorable hour was come, and he left her, with the echo of her last words in his ear, “Goodbye, Colin, stay as long as you ought. It will make the meeting all the sweeter, and you have your wife to some back to now. Give a sister’s love to your brother, and thanks for having spared you,” and his last look at the door was answered with her sunshiny smile.
They had an early meal together, mainly so he could wheel her to the head of his table and see how she looked there. Then the unavoidable hour arrived, and he left her, with her last words echoing in his ears: “Goodbye, Colin, stay as long as you should. It’ll make the meeting even sweeter, and you have your wife to come back to now. Send a sister’s love to your brother, and thanks for making time for this.” His last glance at the door was met with her bright smile.
But when, a few minutes after, Edward came up with Alison for his farewell, they found her lying back in her chair, half fainting, and her startled look told almost too plainly that she had not thought of her brother. “Never mind,” said Edward, affectionately, as much to console Alison as Ermine for this oblivion; “of course it must be so, and I don’t deserve otherwise. Nothing brought me home but Colin Keith’s telling me that he saw you would not have him till my character was cleared up; and now he has repaired so much of the evil I did you, all I can do is to work to make it up to you in other ways. Goodbye, Ermine, I leave you all in much better hands than mine ever were, you are right enough in feeling that a week of his absence outweighs a year of mine. Bless you for all that you and he have done for my child. She, at least, is a comfort to you.”
But when Edward came to say goodbye to Alison a few minutes later, they found her slumped in her chair, almost fainting, and her shocked expression clearly showed she hadn’t thought about her brother. “It’s okay,” Edward said affectionately, trying to comfort both Alison and Ermine for this forgetfulness; “it makes sense, and I don’t deserve anything different. The only reason I came home was because Colin Keith told me he could see that you wouldn’t want to see him until my reputation was cleared; and now that he has fixed some of the harm I caused you, all I can do is try to make it up to you in other ways. Goodbye, Ermine, I’m leaving you in much better hands than mine ever were; you’re absolutely right that a week without him means more than a year without me. Thank you for everything you and he have done for my child. At least she brings you some comfort.”
Ermine’s powers were absolutely exhausted; she could only answer him by embraces and tears; and all the rest of the day she was, to use her own expression, “good for nothing but to be let alone.” Nor, though she exerted herself that she might with truth write that she was well and happy, was she good for much more on the next, and her jealous guardians allowed her to see no one but soft, fondling Lady Temple, who insisted on a relationship (through Rachel), and whose tender pensive quietness could not fail to be refreshment to the strained spirits, and wearied physical powers, and who better than anybody could talk of the Colonel, nay, who could understand, and even help Ermine herself to understand, that these ever-welling tears came from a source by no means akin to grief or repining.
Ermine was completely drained; she could only respond with hugs and tears. For the rest of the day, she felt, in her own words, “good for nothing but to be left alone.” Even though she tried to convince herself to honestly write that she was well and happy, she didn’t feel much better the next day. Her jealous guardians let her see no one except for gentle, affectionate Lady Temple, who insisted on staying connected (through Rachel). Lady Temple’s tender, thoughtful calmness was a much-needed relief for Ermine’s strained mental state and exhausted body. More than anyone else, she could talk about the Colonel and even help Ermine realize that these overflowing tears didn’t come from sadness or regret.
The whole aspect of the rooms was full of tokens of his love and thought for her. The ground-floor had been altered for her accommodation, the furniture chosen in accordance with her known tastes or with old memories, all undemonstratively prepared while yet she had not decided on her consent. And what touched her above all, was the collection of treasures that he had year by year gathered together for her throughout the weary waiting, purchases at which Lady Temple remembered her mother’s banter, with his quiet evasions of explanation. No wonder Ermine laid her head on her hand, and could not retain her tears, as she recalled the white, dismayed face of the youth, who had printed that one sad earliest kiss on her brow, as she lay fire-scathed and apparently dying; and who had cherished the dream unbroken and unwaveringly, had denied himself consistently, had garnered up those choice tokens when ignorant over whether she still lived; had relied on her trust, and come back, heart-whole, to claim and win her, undaunted by her crippled state, her poverty, and her brother’s blotted name. “How can such love ever be met? Why am I favoured beyond all I could have dared to image to myself?” she thought, and wept again; because, as she murmured to Fanny, “I do thank God for it with all my heart, and I do long to tell him all. I don’t think my married life ought to begin by being sillier than ever I was before, but I can’t help it.”
The entire look of the rooms was filled with signs of his love and thought for her. The ground floor had been modified for her comfort, with furniture chosen to match her tastes and old memories, all discreetly arranged while she had not yet decided to agree. What moved her the most was the collection of treasures he had gathered for her over the years during the long wait, purchases that Lady Temple remembered her mother joking about, along with his quiet avoidance of explanation. No wonder Ermine rested her head on her hand and couldn't hold back her tears as she remembered the pale, shocked face of the young man who had given her that one sorrowful first kiss on her forehead when she lay burned and seemingly dying; who had held onto the dream without faltering, consistently denied himself, collected those special tokens while not knowing if she was still alive; who had trusted in her and returned, whole-hearted, to claim her, undeterred by her disability, her poverty, and her brother's tarnished reputation. “How can such love ever be reciprocated? Why have I been blessed beyond anything I could have imagined?” she thought, and cried again; because, as she whispered to Fanny, “I thank God for it with all my heart, and I really want to tell him everything. I don’t think my married life should start out being more foolish than I ever was before, but I can’t help it.”
“And I do love you so much the better for it,” said Fanny; a better companion to-day than the grave, strong Alison, who would have been kind, but would have had to suppress some marvel at the break-down, and some resentment that Edward had no greater share in it.
“And I love you so much more for it,” said Fanny; a better companion today than the serious, strong Alison, who would have been kind but would have had to hide some surprise at the breakdown and some frustration that Edward wasn’t more involved in it.
The morning’s post brought her the first letter from her husband, and in the midst of all her anxiety as to the contents, she could not but linger a moment on the aspect of the Honourable Mrs. Colin Keith in his handwriting; there was a carefulness in the penmanship that assured her that, let him have to tell her what he would, the very inditing of that address had been enjoyment to him. That the border was black told nothing, but the intelligence was such as she had been fully prepared for. Colin had arrived to find the surgeon’s work over, but the patient fast sinking. Even his recognition of his brother had been uncertain, and within twenty-four hours of the morning that had given Colin a home of his own, the last remnant of the home circle of his childhood had passed from him.
The morning mail brought her the first letter from her husband, and despite her anxiety about its contents, she couldn't help but pause for a moment on the way "The Honourable Mrs. Colin Keith" appeared in his handwriting; there was a care in his penmanship that reassured her that, no matter what he had to say, simply writing that address had brought him joy. The fact that the border was black didn't mean anything, but the news was exactly what she had been prepared for. Colin had arrived to find the surgeon's work done, but the patient was rapidly declining. Even his recognition of his brother had been uncertain, and within twenty-four hours of the morning that had given Colin a home of his own, the last piece of his childhood family circle had slipped away.
Still Ermine had to continue a widowed bride for full a fortnight, whilst the funeral and subsequent arrangements necessitated Colin’s presence in Scotland. It was on a crisp, beautiful October evening that Rose, her chestnut hair flying about her brow, stood, lighted up by the sunbeams in the porch, with upraised face and outstretched hands, and as the Colonel bent down to receive her joyous embrace, said, “Aunt Ermine gave me leave to bring you to the door. Then I am going to Myrtlewood till bed-time. And after that I shall always have you.”
Still, Ermine had to remain a widowed bride for two full weeks while the funeral and other arrangements required Colin to be in Scotland. It was on a crisp, beautiful October evening that Rose, her chestnut hair blowing around her face, stood in the porch, lit up by the sunbeams, with her face raised and hands outstretched. As the Colonel bent down to receive her joyful embrace, she said, “Aunt Ermine let me bring you to the door. Then I’m going to Myrtlewood until bedtime. And after that, I’ll always have you.”
The open door showed Ermine, too tremulous to trust to her crutch, but leaning forward, her eyes liquid with tears of thankfulness. The patient spirits had reached their home and haven, the earthly haven of loving hearts, the likeness of the heavenly haven, and as her head leant, at last, upon his shoulder, and his guardian arm encircled her, there was such a sense of rest and calm that even the utterance of their inward thanksgiving, or of a word of tenderness would have jarred upon them. It was not till a knock and message at the door interrupted them, that they could break the blessed stillness.
The open door revealed Ermine, too shaky to rely on her crutch, but leaning forward, her eyes filled with tears of gratitude. The weary souls had finally arrived at their home and refuge, a earthly sanctuary of loving hearts, mirroring the heavenly refuge. As her head finally rested on his shoulder and his protective arm wrapped around her, there was such a feeling of peace and tranquility that even the slightest expression of their inner thanks, or a word of affection, would have felt jarring. It wasn’t until a knock and a message at the door interrupted them that they could break the beautiful silence.
“And there you are, my Ermine!” said Colin, standing on the hearth-rug, and surveying her with satisfied eyes. “You are a queenly looking dame in your black draperies, and you look really well, much better than Rachel led me to expect.”
“And there you are, my Ermine!” Colin said, standing on the hearth rug and looking at her with pleased eyes. “You look like a queen in your black garments, and you actually look great, much better than Rachel made me think.”
“Ah! when she was here I had no fixed day to look forward to. And receiving our poor little orphan baby was not exactly like receiving his uncle, though Rachel seemed to think it ought to make up for anything.”
“Ah! when she was here I had no specific day to anticipate. And taking in our poor little orphan baby wasn’t quite the same as welcoming his uncle, even though Rachel seemed to believe it should compensate for everything.”
“She was thoroughly softened by that child! It was a spirited thing her bringing him down here on the Monday when we started for Scotland, and then coming all the way alone with her maid. I did not think Alick would have consented, but he said she would always be the happier for having deposited her charge in your hands.”
“She was completely melted by that child! It was quite bold of her to bring him down here on the Monday when we were leaving for Scotland, and then to come all the way alone with her maid. I didn't think Alick would agree, but he said she would always be happier for having left her responsibility in your hands.”
“It was a great wrench to her. I felt it like robbery when she put the little fellow down on my lap and knelt over him, not able to get herself away, but saying that she was not fit to have him; she could not bear it if she made him hate her as Conrade did! I am glad she has had his first smile, she deserves it.”
“It was really hard for her. I felt like it was a theft when she placed the little guy on my lap and knelt beside him, unable to pull herself away, saying that she wasn’t worthy to have him; she couldn’t stand the thought of making him hate her like Conrade did! I’m glad she got to see his first smile; she deserves it.”
“Is Tibbie in charity with him?”
"Is Tibbie cool with him?"
“Oh, more than in charity! She did not take the first announcement of his coming very amiably; but when I told her she was to reign in the nursery, and take care the poor little chief know the sound of a Scots’ tongue, she began to thaw; and when he came into the house, pity or loyalty, or both, flamed up hotly, and have quite relieved me; for at first she made a baby of me, and was a perfect dragon of jealousy at poor Ailie’s doing anything for me. It was a rich scene when Rachel began giving her directions out of ‘Hints for the Management of Infants,’ just in the old voice, and Tibbie swept round indignantly, ‘His Lordship, Lord Keith of Gowanbrae, suld hae the best tendance she could gie him. She did na lippen to thae English buiks, as though she couldna rear a wean without bulk learning.’ Poor Rachel nearly cried, and was not half comforted by my promising to study the book as much as she pleased.”
“Oh, more than just in charity! She didn’t take the news of his arrival very well at first, but when I told her she was going to be in charge in the nursery and ensure the little one learns to recognize a Scottish accent, she started to warm up. When he came into the house, whether it was pity or loyalty—maybe a bit of both—it surged up strongly, and it really helped me out. At first, she treated me like a child and was completely jealous of poor Ailie doing anything for me. It was quite a scene when Rachel started giving her instructions from ‘Hints for the Management of Infants,’ in that old familiar voice, and Tibbie turned around indignantly, saying, ‘His Lordship, Lord Keith of Gowanbrae, should have the best care she could give him. She didn’t trust those English books, as if she couldn’t raise a child without textbook advice.’ Poor Rachel was almost in tears and wasn’t completely reassured by my promise to study the book as much as she wanted.”
“It will never do to interfere with Tibbie, and I own I am much of her opinion, I had rather trust to her than to Rachel, or the book!”
“It’s not a good idea to mess with Tibbie, and I have to admit I agree with her; I’d rather rely on her than on Rachel or the book!”
“Well, the more Rachel talked book, the more amiable surprise passed between her mother and Lady Temple that the poor little follow should have lived at all, and I believe they were very angry with me for thinking her views very sensible. Lady Temple is so happy with him. She says it is so melancholy to have a house without a baby, that she comes in twice or three times a day to console herself with this one.”
“Well, the more Rachel talked about the book, the more friendly surprise passed between her mother and Lady Temple that the poor little girl should have lived at all, and I think they were quite upset with me for believing her views were very sensible. Lady Temple is so happy with him. She says it’s so sad to have a house without a baby that she comes in two or three times a day to comfort herself with this one.”
“Did you not tell me that she and the Curtises spent the evening with you?”
“Didn’t you tell me that she and the Curtises hung out with you that evening?”
“Yes, it was rather shocking to receive them without you, but it was the only way of being altogether on Rachel’s one evening here; and it was very amusing, Mrs. Curtis so happy with her daughter looking well and bright, and Rachel with so much to tell about Bishopsworthy, till at last Grace, in her sly odd way, said she thought dear Alexander had even taught Rachel curatolatry; whereupon Rachel fired up at such an idea being named in connexion with Mr. Clare, then came suddenly, and very prettily, down, and added, ‘Living with Alick and Mr. Clare has taught me what nonsense I talked in those days.’”
“Yes, it was pretty surprising to get them without you, but it was the only way for all of us to be together on Rachel’s one night here; and it was really fun, Mrs. Curtis so happy with her daughter looking healthy and cheerful, and Rachel with so much to share about Bishopsworthy, until finally Grace, in her cheeky way, said she thought dear Alexander had even taught Rachel curatolatry; at which point Rachel reacted strongly to the idea being mentioned in connection with Mr. Clare, then suddenly calmed down, and very sweetly added, ‘Living with Alick and Mr. Clare has shown me how silly I was back then.’”
“Well done, Rachel! It proves what Alick always said, that her great characteristic is candour!”
“Well done, Rachel! It shows what Alick always said, that her standout trait is honesty!”
“I hope she was not knocked up by the long night journey all at one stretch. Mrs. Curtis was very uneasy about it, but nothing would move her; she owned that Alick did not expect her, for she had taken care he should not object, by saying nothing of her intention, but she was sure he would be ill on Wednesday morning, and then Mrs. Curtis not only gave in directly, but all we married women turned upon poor Grace for hinting that Alick might prefer a day’s solitary illness to her being over-tired.”
“I hope she wasn't pregnant from the long overnight journey all at once. Mrs. Curtis was really worried about it, but nothing would change her mind; she admitted that Alick didn’t expect her, since she made sure he wouldn’t object by not mentioning her plans. But she was certain he would be sick on Wednesday morning, and then Mrs. Curtis not only agreed right away, but all of us married women turned on poor Grace for suggesting that Alick might prefer a day of being alone and sick to her being too tired.”
“She was extremely welcome! Alick was quite done for by all he had gone through; he was miserably ill, and I hardly knew what to do with him, and he mended from the moment his face lightened up at the sight of her.”
“She was so welcome! Alick was really struggling with everything he had been through; he was feeling terrible, and I didn’t really know how to help him, but he started to feel better as soon as his face brightened at the sight of her.”
“There’s the use of strength of mind! How is Alick?”
“Isn't that the power of mental strength! How's Alick?”
“Getting better under M’Vicar and Edinburgh winds. It was hard on him to have borne the brunt of all the nursing that terrible last week, and in fact I never knew how much he was going through rather than summon me. His sauntering manner always conceals how much he is doing, and poor Keith was so fond of him, and liked his care so much that almost the whole fell upon him at last. And I believe he said more that was good for Keith, and brought in Mr. Clare more than perhaps I should ever have been able to do. So though I must regret having been away, it may have been the best thing.”
“Getting better under M’Vicar and the Edinburgh winds. It was tough on him to have carried the load of all the nursing that awful last week, and honestly, I never realized how much he was dealing with instead of just calling me. His relaxed demeanor always masks how much he’s actually doing, and poor Keith was so fond of him and appreciated his care so much that nearly everything ended up on him in the end. I believe he said more that was beneficial for Keith and got Mr. Clare involved more than I might have ever been able to. So while I regret being away, it might have been for the best.”
“And it was by your brother’s earnest wish,” said Ermine; “it was not as if you had stayed away for your own pleasure.”
“And it was your brother's sincere wish,” said Ermine; “it’s not like you stayed away just for your own enjoyment.”
“No! Poor Keith repeatedly said he could not die in peace till he had secured our having the sole charge of his son. It was a strong instinct that conquered inveterate prejudice! Did I tell you about the will?”
“No! Poor Keith kept saying he couldn't die in peace until he had made sure we had sole custody of his son. It was a powerful instinct that overcame deep-seated prejudice! Did I mention the will?”
“You said I should hear particulars when you came.”
“You said I should hear the details when you arrived.”
“The personal guardianship is left to us first, then to Alick and Rachel, with £300 a year for the expenses. Then we have Auchinvar. The estate is charged with an equivalent settlement upon Mary, a better plan, which I durst not propose, but with so long a minority the estate will bear it. Alick has his sister’s fortune back again, and the Menteith children a few hundreds; but Menteith is rabid about the guardianship, and would hardly speak to Alick.”
“The personal guardianship is first assigned to us, then to Alick and Rachel, with £300 a year for expenses. Then there's Auchinvar. The estate has an equivalent settlement for Mary, which is a better plan that I was hesitant to suggest, but given the lengthy minority, the estate can handle it. Alick has his sister’s fortune restored, and the Menteith children have a few hundred pounds; however, Menteith is furious about the guardianship and barely speaks to Alick.”
“And you?”
"And you?"
“They always keep the peace with me. Isabel even made us a wedding present—a pair of miniatures of my father and mother, that I am very glad to rescue, though, as she politely told me, I was welcome to them, for they were hideously dressed, and she wanted the frames for two sweet photographs of Garibaldi and the Queen of Naples.”
“They always get along with me. Isabel even gave us a wedding gift—a pair of mini portraits of my dad and mom, which I’m really happy to save, even though, as she kindly mentioned, I was welcome to them because they were dressed horribly, and she wanted the frames for two lovely photos of Garibaldi and the Queen of Naples.”
Then looking up as if to find a place for them—
Then looking up as if searching for a spot for them—
“Why, Ermine, what have you done to the room? It is the old parsonage drawing-room!”
“Why, Ermine, what have you done to the room? It’s the old parsonage drawing room!”
“Did not you mean it, when you took the very proportions of the bay window, and chose just such a carpet?”
“Didn’t you mean it when you picked the exact size of the bay window and chose that specific carpet?”
“But what have you done to it?”
“But what have you done to it?”
“Ailie and Rose, and Lady Temple and her boys, have done it. I have sat looking on, and suggesting. Old things that we kept packed up have seen the light, and your beautiful Indian curiosities have found their corners.”
“Ailie and Rose, along with Lady Temple and her boys, have made it happen. I've been watching and making suggestions. Old things we've kept stored away are finally out, and your beautiful Indian curiosities have found their places.”
“And the room has exactly the old geranium scent!”
“And the room smells exactly like old geraniums!”
“I think the Curtises must have brought half their greenhouse down. Do you remember the old oak-leaf geranium that you used to gather a leaf of whenever you passed our old conservatory?”
“I think the Curtises must have brought half their greenhouse with them. Do you remember the old oak-leaf geranium that you would pick a leaf from whenever you walked by our old conservatory?”
“I have been wondering where the fragrance came from that made the likeness complete. I have smelt nothing like it since!”
“I’ve been thinking about where the scent came from that made everything come together. I haven’t smelled anything like it since!”
“I said that I wished for one, and Grace got off without a word, and searched everywhere at Avoncester till she found one in a corner of the Dean’s greenhouse. There, now you have a leaf in your fingers, I think you do feel at home.”
“I mentioned that I wanted one, and Grace quietly got up and searched all over Avoncester until she found one in a corner of the Dean’s greenhouse. There, now you have a leaf in your hand; I think you do feel at home.”
“Not quite, Ermine. It still has the dizziness of a dream. I have so often conjured up all this as a vision, that now there is nothing to take me away from it, I can hardly feel it a reality.”
“Not really, Ermine. It still feels like the haze of a dream. I've imagined all of this so many times that now there's nothing pulling me away from it, I can barely see it as real.”
“Then I shall ring. Tibbie and the poor little Lord upstairs are substantial witnesses to the cares and troubles of real life.”
“Then I'll ring. Tibbie and the poor little Lord upstairs are solid witnesses to the worries and struggles of real life.”
CHAPTER XXX. WHO IS THE CLEVER WOMAN?
“Half-grown as yet, a child and vain, She cannot fight the fight of death. What is she cut from love and faith?” Knowledge and Wisdom, TENNYSON.
“Still half-grown, a child and vain, She can’t face the battle of death. What is she made of love and faith?” Knowledge and Wisdom, TENNYSON.
It was long before the two Mrs. Keiths met again. Mrs. Curtis and Grace were persuaded to spend the spring and summer in Scotland, and Alick’s leave of absence was felt to be due to Mr. Clare, and thus it was that the first real family gathering took place on occasion of the opening of the institution that had grown out of the Burnaby Bargain. This work had cost Colonel Keith and Mr. Mitchell an infinity of labour and perseverance before even the preliminaries could be arranged, but they contrived at length to carry it out, and by the fourth spring after the downfall of the F. U. E. E. a house had been erected for the convalescents, whose wants were to be attended to by a matron, assisted by a dozen young girls in training for service.
It was a long time before the two Mrs. Keiths met again. Mrs. Curtis and Grace were convinced to spend the spring and summer in Scotland, and Alick's time off was seen as a result of Mr. Clare. That’s how the first real family gathering happened during the opening of the institution that had developed from the Burnaby Bargain. This project took Colonel Keith and Mr. Mitchell endless hours of hard work and determination before they could even get the preliminaries sorted, but they eventually pulled it off. By the fourth spring after the downfall of the F. U. E. E., a house had been built for the recovering patients, who would be cared for by a matron and a dozen young women in training for service.
The male convalescents were under the discipline of Sergeant O’Brien and the whole was to be superintended by Colonel and Mrs. Keith. Ermine undertook to hear a class of the girls two or three times a week, and lower rooms had been constructed with a special view to her being wheeled into them, so as to visit the convalescents, and give them her attention and sympathy. Mary Morris was head girl, most of the others were from Avonmouth, but two pale Londoners came from Mr. Touchett’s district, and a little motherless lassie from the —th Highlanders was brought down with the nursery establishment, on which Mrs. Alexander Keith now practised the “Hints on the management of Infants.”
The male patients were under the supervision of Sergeant O’Brien, and everything was overseen by Colonel and Mrs. Keith. Ermine committed to teaching a class of girls two or three times a week, and lower rooms were built specifically so she could be wheeled into them to visit the patients and provide them with her attention and support. Mary Morris was the head girl; most of the others were from Avonmouth, but two pale girls from London were from Mr. Touchett’s area, and a little motherless girl from the —th Highlanders was brought down with the nursery staff, where Mrs. Alexander Keith now applied the “Hints on the Management of Infants.”
May was unusually propitious, and after an orthodox tea-drinking, the new pupils and all the Sunday-schools were turned out to play on the Homestead slopes, with all the world to look on at them. It was a warm, brilliant day, of joyous blossom and lively green, and long laughing streaks of sunlight on the sea, and no one enjoyed it more than did Ermine, as she sat in her chair delighting in the fresh sweetness of the old thorns, laughing at the freaks of the scampering groups of children, gaily exchanging pleasant talk with one friend after another, and most of all with Rachel, who seemed to gravitate back to her whenever any summons had for a time interrupted their affluence of conversation.
May was surprisingly delightful, and after a traditional tea, the new students and all the Sunday schools were let out to play on the Homestead slopes, with everyone watching them. It was a warm, bright day, filled with cheerful blossoms and vibrant green, with long, joyful rays of sunlight shining on the sea. No one enjoyed it more than Ermine, who sat in her chair, relishing the fresh sweetness of the old thorn bushes, laughing at the antics of the playful groups of children, happily chatting with one friend after another, especially with Rachel, who always seemed to return to her whenever their lively conversations were briefly interrupted.
And all the time Ermine’s footstool was serving as a table for the various flowers that two children were constantly gathering in the grass and presenting to her, to Rachel, or to each other, with a constant stream of not very comprehensible prattle, full of pretty gesticulation that seemed to make up for the want of distinctness. The yellow-haired, slenderly-made, delicately-featured boy, whose personal pronouns were just developing, and his consonants very scanty, though the elder of the two, dutifully and admiringly obeyed the more distinct, though less connected, utterances of the little dark-eyed girl, eked out by pretty imperious gestures, that seemed already to enchain the little white-frocked cavalier to her service. All the time it was droll to see how the two ladies could pay full attention to the children, while going on with their own unbroken stream of talk.
And all the while, Ermine’s footstool was doubling as a table for the various flowers that two kids were constantly picking from the grass and offering to her, to Rachel, or to each other, all while chattering away in a way that wasn’t very clear, yet was full of charming gestures that made up for the lack of clarity. The boy with yellow hair, who was slender and had delicate features, was just starting to put together personal pronouns and had very few consonants, but as the older of the two, he dutifully and admiringly followed the more clear yet less connected words of the little dark-eyed girl, who supplemented her speech with cute commanding gestures that already seemed to have the little boy in a white dress wrapped around her finger. It was amusing to see how the two ladies could give their full attention to the children while continuing their own uninterrupted conversation.
“I am not overwhelming you,” suddenly exclaimed Rachel, checking herself in mid-career about the mothers’ meetings for the soldiers’ wives.
“I’m not overwhelming you,” Rachel suddenly exclaimed, pausing mid-sentence about the meetings for the soldiers' wives.
“Far from it. Was I inattentive—?”
“Not at all. Was I not paying attention—?”
“Oh no—(Yes, Una dear, very pretty)—but I found myself talking in the voice that always makes Alick shut his eyes.”—“I should not think he often had to do so,” said Ermine, much amused by this gentle remedy—(“Mind, Keith, that is a nettle. It will sting—“)
“Oh no—(Yes, Una dear, very pretty)—but I realized I was speaking in that tone that always makes Alick close his eyes.” — “I wouldn’t think he has to do that very often,” said Ermine, finding this gentle remedy quite amusing—(“Be careful, Keith, that’s a nettle. It’ll sting—”)
“Less often than before,” said Rachel—(“Never mind the butterfly, Una)—I don’t think I have had more than one thorough fit of what he calls leaping into the gulf. It was about the soldiers’ wives married without leave, who, poor things, are the most miserable creatures in the world; and when I first found out about them I was in the sort of mood I was in about the lace, and raved about the system, and was resolved to employ one poor woman, and Alick looked meeker and meeker, and assented to all I said, as if he was half asleep, and at last he quietly took up a sheet of paper, and said he must write and sell out, since I was bent on my gulf, and an officer’s wife must be bound by the regulations of the service. I was nearly as bad as ever, I could have written an article on the injustice of the army regulations, indeed I did begin, but what do you think the end was? I got a letter from a good lady, who is always looking after the poor, to thank Mrs. Alexander Keith for the help that had been sent for this poor woman, to be given as if from the general fund. After that I could not help listening to him, and then I found it was so impossible to know about character, or to be sure that one was not doing more harm than—What is it, boys?” as three or four Temples rushed up.
“Less often than before,” said Rachel—(“Never mind the butterfly, Una)—I don’t think I’ve had more than one serious episode of what he calls jumping into the deep end. It was about the soldiers’ wives who got married without permission, who, poor things, are the most miserable people in the world; and when I first learned about them I was in the same kind of mood I was in about the lace, and I ranted about the system, determined to help one poor woman. Alick just looked more and more subdued and agreed with everything I said, as if he was half asleep, and finally he quietly picked up a piece of paper and said he needed to write and resign since I was set on my deep end, and an officer’s wife has to follow the service regulations. I was almost as worked up as ever, I could have written an article on the unfairness of the army regulations, in fact I started to, but guess what happened? I got a letter from a kind lady who always looks after the poor, thanking Mrs. Alexander Keith for the help that had been provided for this poor woman, as if it came from the general fund. After that, I couldn’t help but listen to him, and then I realized it was so impossible to know about character, or to be sure that I wasn’t causing more harm than—What is it, boys?” as three or four Temples rushed up.
“Aunt Rachel, Mr. Clare is going to teach us a new game, and he says you know it. Pray come.”
“Aunt Rachel, Mr. Clare is going to teach us a new game, and he says you know how to play it. Please come.”
“Come, Una. What, Keith, will you come too? I’ll take care of him, Ermine.”
“Come on, Una. What about you, Keith? Are you coming too? I’ll look after him, Ermine.”
And with a child in each hand, Rachel followed the deputation, and had scarcely disappeared before the light gracious figure of Rose glanced through the thorn trees. “Aunt Ermine, you must come nearer; it is so wonderful to see Mr. Clare teaching this game.”
And with a child in each hand, Rachel followed the group, and had barely disappeared before the graceful figure of Rose appeared through the thorn trees. “Aunt Ermine, you need to come closer; it’s so amazing to see Mr. Clare teaching this game.”
“Don’t push my chair, my dear; it is much too heavy for you uphill.”
“Don’t push my chair, sweetheart; it’s far too heavy for you to move it uphill.”
“As if I could not drive you anywhere, and here is Conrade coming.”
“As if I couldn’t take you anywhere, and here comes Conrade.”
Conrade was in search of the deserter, but he applied himself heartily to the propulsion of aunt Ermine, informing Rose that Mr. Clare was no end of a man, much better than if he could see, and aunt Rachel was grown quite jolly.
Conrade was looking for the deserter, but he focused intently on pushing Aunt Ermine along, telling Rose that Mr. Clare was an incredible guy, even better than if he could see, and Aunt Rachel had become quite cheerful.
“I think she has left off her long words,” said Rose.
"I think she's stopped using her big words," said Rose.
“She is not a civilian now,” said Conrade, quite unconscious of Ermine’s amusement at his confidences as he pushed behind her. “I did think it a most benighted thing to marry her, but that’s what it is. Military discipline has made her conformable.” Having placed the chair on a spot which commanded the scene, the boy and girl rushed off to take their part in the sport, leaving Ermine looking down a steep bank at the huge ring of performers, with linked hands, advancing and receding to the measure of a chanted verse round a figure in the centre, who made gesticulations, pursued and caught different individuals in the ring, and put them through a formula which provoked shouts of mirth. Ermine much enjoyed the sight, it was pretty to watch the ‘prononce’ dresses of the parish children, interspersed with the more graceful forms of the little gentry, and here and there a taller lady. Then Ermine smiled to recognise Alison as usual among her boys, and Lady Temple’s soft greys and whites, and gentle floating movements, as she advanced and receded with Stephana in one hand, and a shy infant-school child in the other. But Ermine’s eye roamed anxiously, for though Rachel’s animated, characteristic gestures were fully discernible, and her little Una’s arch toss of the head marked her out, yet the companion whom she had beguiled away, and who had become more to Ermine than any other of the frisking little ones of the flock, was neither with her not with his chief protector, Rose. In a second or two, however, the step that to her had most “music in’t” of all footfalls that ever were trodden, was sounding on the path that led circuitously up the path, and the Colonel appeared with the little runaway holding his hand.
“She’s not a civilian anymore,” Conrade said, completely unaware of Ermine’s amusement at his openness as he stepped behind her. “I really thought it was a foolish thing to marry her, but that’s how it is. Military discipline has made her agreeable.” After placing the chair in a spot with a good view, the boy and girl ran off to join the fun, leaving Ermine looking down a steep bank at the large circle of performers, holding hands, advancing and retreating to the rhythm of a chanted verse around a central figure who gestured wildly, chased and caught various individuals in the ring, and put them through a routine that sparked laughter. Ermine enjoyed the scene; it was lovely to see the ‘prononce’ dresses of the parish children mixed with the more graceful figures of the little gentry, along with a taller lady here and there. Then Ermine smiled as she recognized Alison as usual among her boys, and Lady Temple’s soft greys and whites, moving gently as she advanced and retreated with Stephana in one hand and a shy kindergarten child in the other. But Ermine’s gaze wandered anxiously, for although Rachel’s lively, distinctive gestures were clearly visible and her little Una’s playful toss of the head set her apart, the companion she had led away, who meant more to Ermine than any of the other cheerful little ones in the group, was neither with her nor with his main protector, Rose. In just a moment, though, the step that had the most “music” to her of all footfalls echoed on the winding path, and the Colonel appeared with the little runaway holding his hand.
“Why, baby, you are soon come away!”
“Why, baby, you're about to come away soon!”
“I did not like it,—sit on mamma’s knee,” said the little fellow, scrambling to his place then as one who felt it his own nest and throne.
“I didn’t like it—sitting on Mom’s knee,” said the little guy, scrambling to his spot then as if he felt it was his own nest and throne.
“He was very soon frightened,” said the Colonel; “it was only that little witch Una who could have deluded him into such a crowd, and, as soon as she saw a bigger boy to beguile, she instantly deserted Keith, so I relieved Rachel of him.”
“He got scared really quickly,” said the Colonel; “it was just that little witch Una who could have tricked him into such a crowd, and as soon as she spotted a bigger boy to charm, she immediately ditched Keith, so I took him off Rachel’s hands.”
“See Rachel now; Mr. Clare is interrogating her. How she is making them laugh! I did not think she could ever have so entered into fun.”
“Look at Rachel now; Mr. Clare is grilling her. She’s making them laugh! I never thought she could get into the fun like this.”
“Alick must have made it a part of her education. When the Invalid has time for another essay, Ermine, it should be on the Benefits of Ridicule.”
“Alick must have included it in her education. When the Invalid has time for another essay, Ermine, it should be on the Advantages of Ridicule.”
“Against Clever Womanhood? But then the subject must have Rachel’s perfect good humour.”
“Against Smart Women? But then the topic has to include Rachel’s amazing sense of humor.”
“And the weapon must be in the most delicately skilful hands,” added the Colonel. “Properly wielded, it saves blunting the superior weapon by over-frequent use. Here the success is complete.”
“And the weapon needs to be in the most skillful hands,” added the Colonel. “When used correctly, it prevents the stronger weapon from getting dull through too much use. Here, the success is complete.”
“It has been irony rather than ridicule,” said Ermine, “though, when he taught her to laugh, he won half the battle. It is beautiful to see her holding herself back, and most forbearing where she feels most positive. I am glad to see him looking so much stronger and more substantial. Where is he?”
“It’s been more about irony than mockery,” Ermine said, “but when he got her to laugh, he won half the battle. It’s beautiful to watch her hold herself back and be so patient where she feels most certain. I’m really glad to see him looking so much stronger and more solid. Where is he?”
“On the further bank, supposed by Mrs. Curtis to be asleep, but watching uncle, wife, and child through his eyelashes. Did you ever see any one so like his sister as that child?”
“On the opposite bank, thought by Mrs. Curtis to be asleep, but actually watching her uncle, husband, and child through his eyelashes. Have you ever seen anyone so much like his sister as that child?”
“Much more so than this one. I am glad he may one day see such a shadow of his bright-faced mother.”
“Way more than this one. I'm happy he might someday glimpse a bit of his cheerful mom.”
“You are mother!” said the the little orphan, looking up into Ermine’s face with a startled, wistful look, as having caught more of her meaning than she had intended, and she met his look with a kiss, the time was not yet come for gainsaying the belief more than in the words, “Yes, always a mother to you, my precious little man.”
“You are my mother!” said the little orphan, looking up into Ermine’s face with a surprised, longing expression, as if he understood more of her meaning than she intended. She responded to his gaze with a kiss, knowing the time had not yet come to challenge his belief beyond saying, “Yes, always a mother to you, my precious little man.”
“Nor could you have had a bonnier face to look into,” added the Colonel. “There, the game breaks up. We should collect our flock, and get them them back to Les Invalides, as Alick calls it.”
“Nor could you have had a prettier face to look at,” added the Colonel. “Well, the gathering is breaking up. We should round up our group and get them back to Les Invalides, as Alick puts it.”
“Take care no one else does so,” said Ermine, laughing. “It has been a most happy day, and chief of all the pleasures has been the sight of Rachel just what I hoped, a thorough wife and mother, all the more so for her being awake to larger interests, and doing common things better for being the Clever Woman of the family. Where is she? I don’t see her now.”
“Make sure no one else does,” Ermine said with a laugh. “Today has been wonderful, and the best part has been seeing Rachel just as I hoped—an amazing wife and mother, even more so because she's engaged with bigger issues and does everyday things better as the Clever Woman of the family. Where is she? I can’t find her now.”
Where is she? was asked by more than one of the party, but the next to see her was Alick, who found her standing at the window of her own room, with her long-robed, two-months’ old baby in her arms. “Tired?” he asked.
"Where is she?" several people from the group asked, but the next to find her was Alick, who saw her standing by the window in her own room, holding her two-month-old baby in her arms. "Tired?" he asked.
“No; I only sent down nurse to drink tea with the other grandees. What a delightful day it has been! I never hoped that such good fruit would rise out of my unhappy blunders.”
“No; I only sent the nurse to have tea with the other important guests. What a wonderful day it has been! I never expected that such good results would come from my unfortunate mistakes.”
“The blunders that brought so much good to me.”
“The mistakes that brought me so much good.”
“Ah! the old places bring them back again. I have been recollecting how it used to seem to me the depth of my fall that you were marrying me out of pure pity, without my having the spirit to resent or prevent it, and now I just like to think how kind and noble it was in you.”
“Ah! The old places remind me of everything again. I've been thinking about how it felt to me at the time, the depth of my despair that you were marrying me out of pure pity, and I didn’t have the courage to object or stop it, and now I just like to think how kind and noble that was of you.”
“I am glad to hear it! I thought I was so foolishly in love, that I was very glad of any excuse for pressing it on.”
“I’m really happy to hear that! I thought I was so blindly in love that I was grateful for any excuse to pursue it.”
“Are the people dispersing? Where is your uncle?”
“Are the people leaving? Where's your uncle?”
“He went home with the Colonel and his wife; he has quite lost his heart to Ermine.”
“He went home with the Colonel and his wife; he’s completely fallen for Ermine.”
“And Una—did you leave her with Grace?”
“And Una—did you leave her with Grace?”
“No, she trotted down hand in hand with his little lordship: promising to lead her uncle back.”
“No, she happily walked side by side with his little lordship, promising to take her uncle back.”
“My dear Alick, you don’t mean that you trust to that?”
“My dear Alick, you don’t actually believe that, do you?”
“Why, hardly implicitly.”
"Well, not really."
“Is that the way you say so? They may be both over the cliffs. If you will just stay in the room with baby, I will go down and fetch them up.”
“Is that how you say it? They might both be over the cliffs. If you stay in the room with the baby, I’ll go down and get them.”
Alick very obediently held out his arms for his son, but when Rachel proceeded to take up her hat, he added, “You have run miles enough to-day. I am going down as soon as my uncle has had time to pay his visit in peace, without being hunted.”
Alick eagerly held out his arms for his son, but when Rachel started to grab her hat, he added, “You’ve walked enough today. I’ll head down once my uncle has had time to visit without being rushed.”
“Does he know that?”
“Does he know this?”
“The Colonel does, which comes to the same thing. Is not this boy just of the age that little Keith was when you gave him up?”
“The Colonel does, which is basically the same thing. Isn't this boy exactly the age that little Keith was when you gave him up?”
“Yes; and is it not delightful to see how much larger and heavier he is!”
“Yes; isn’t it amazing to see how much bigger and heavier he is!”
“Hardly, considering your objections to fine children.”
“Barely, given your issues with well-behaved kids.”
“Oh, that was only to coarse, over-grown ones. Una is really quite as tall as little Keith, and much more active. You saw he could not play at the game at all, and she was all life and enjoyment, with no notion of shyness.”
“Oh, that was just for the rough, overgrown ones. Una is actually about the same height as little Keith and way more lively. You saw he couldn't play the game at all, while she was full of energy and having a great time, with no sense of shyness.”
“It does not enter into her composition.”
“It’s not a part of her nature.”
“And she speaks much plainer. I never miss a word she says, and I don’t understand Keith a bit, though he tells such long stories.”
“And she talks much more straightforwardly. I never miss a word she says, and I don’t understand Keith at all, even though he tells such long stories.”
“How backward!”
“How outdated!”
“Then she knows all her letters by sight—almost all, and Ermine can never get him to tell b from d; and you know how she can repeat so many little verses, while he could not even say, ‘Thank you, pretty cow,’ this morning, when I wanted to hear him.”
“Then she recognizes almost all her letters by sight, although Ermine can never get him to distinguish b from d; and you know how she can recite so many little verses, while he couldn't even say, ‘Thank you, pretty cow,’ this morning when I wanted to hear him.”
“Vast interval!”
“Long break!”
“It is only eight months; but then Una is such a bright, forward child.”
“It’s been just eight months; but then Una is such a bright, eager child.”
“Highly-developed precocity!”
“Advanced talent!”
“Now, Alick, what am I about? Why are you agreeing with me?”
“Now, Alick, what am I doing? Why are you agreeing with me?”
“I am between the horns of a dilemma. Either our young chieftain must be a dunce, or we are rearing the Clever Woman of the family.”
“I’m caught in a dilemma. Our young leader is either clueless, or we’re raising the smartest person in the family.”
“I hope not!” exclaimed Rachel.
“I hope not!” Rachel said.
“Indeed? I would not grudge her a superior implement, even if I had sometimes cut my own fingers.”
“Really? I wouldn’t mind her having a better tool, even if I’ve accidentally cut my own fingers before.”
“But, Alick, I really do not think I ever was such a Clever Woman.”
“But, Alick, I honestly don’t think I was ever that smart of a woman.”
“I never thought you one,” he quietly returned.
“I never thought you were one,” he quietly replied.
She smiled. This faculty had much changed her countenance. “I see,” she said, thoughtfully, “I had a few intellectual tastes, and liked to think and read, which was supposed to be cleverness; and my wilfulness made me fancy myself superior in force of character, in a way I could never have imagined if I had lived more in the world. Contact with really clever people has shown me that I am slow and unready.”
She smiled. This quality had significantly changed her appearance. “I get it,” she said thoughtfully. “I had some intellectual interests and enjoyed thinking and reading, which I thought made me smart; and my stubbornness led me to believe I was superior in strength of character, in a way I never would have imagined if I had spent more time in the real world. Interacting with genuinely smart people has shown me that I am slow and not as prepared as I thought.”
“It was a rusty implement, and you tried weight instead of edge. Now it is infinitely brighter.”
“It was a rusty tool, and you focused on weight instead of sharpness. Now it’s way brighter.”
“But, Alick,” she said, leaving the thought of herself for that of her child, “I believe you may be right about Una, for,” she added in low voice, “she is like the most practically clever person I ever saw.”
“But, Alick,” she said, shifting her focus from herself to her child, “I think you might be right about Una, because,” she added in a quiet voice, “she’s the most practically clever person I’ve ever seen.”
“True,” he answered gravely, “I see it every day, in every saucy gesture and coaxing smile, when she tries to turn away displeasure in her naughty fits. I hardly knew how to look on at her airs with Keith, it was so exactly like the little sister I first knew. Rachel, such cleverness as that is a far more perilous gift to woman than your plodding intellectuality could ever be. God grant,” he added, with one of the effusions which sometimes broke through his phlegmatic temperament, “that this little fellow may be a kinder, wiser brother than ever I was, and that we may bring her up to your own truth and unselfishness. Then such power would be a happy endowment.”
“True,” he replied seriously, “I see it every day, in every sassy gesture and charming smile, when she tries to smooth over her frustration during her little tantrums. I could hardly bear to watch her interactions with Keith; it reminded me so much of the little sister I first knew. Rachel, that kind of cleverness is a much more dangerous trait for a woman than your hardworking intellect could ever be. God grant,” he added, with one of the outbursts that sometimes broke through his calm demeanor, “that this little guy may be a kinder, wiser brother than I ever was, and that we can raise her to embody your own truth and selflessness. Then such power would be a wonderful gift.”
“Yes,” said Rachel, “may she never be out of your influence, or be left to untrustworthy hands. I should have been much better if I had had either father or brother to keep me in order. Poor child, she has a wonderful charm, not all my fancy, Alick. And yet there is one whose real working talent has been more than that of any of us, who has made it effective for herself and others, and has let it do her only good, not harm.”
“Yes,” Rachel said, “may she always be under your guidance and never left in unreliable hands. I would have been much better off if I had had either a father or a brother to keep me in check. Poor girl, she has an amazing charm, more than I can imagine, Alick. Yet there is someone whose true talent has surpassed all of ours, who has made it work for herself and others, and has let it bring her only good, not harm.”
“You are right. If we are to show Una how intellect and brilliant power can be no snares, but only blessings helping the spirits in infirmity and trouble, serving as a real engine for independence and usefulness, winning love and influence for good, genuine talents in the highest sense of the word, then commend me to such a Clever Woman of the family as Ermine Keith.”
“You're right. If we want to show Una that intellect and brilliance aren't traps but blessings that help those struggling and in trouble, serving as a true engine for independence and usefulness, winning love and making a positive impact, genuine talents in the highest sense of the word, then give me a Clever Woman of the family like Ermine Keith.”
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