This is a modern-English version of Within Prison Walls: being a narrative during a week of voluntary confinement in the state prison at Auburn, New York, originally written by Osborne, Thomas Mott. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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WITHIN
PRISON WALLS

 

BEING A NARRATIVE OF PERSONAL
EXPERIENCE DURING A WEEK OF
VOLUNTARY CONFINEMENT IN THE
STATE PRISON AT AUBURN, NEW YORK

BEING A STORY OF MY PERSONAL
EXPERIENCE DURING A WEEK OF
CHOOSING TO STAY IN THE
STATE PRISON AT AUBURN, NEW YORK

 

BY

THOMAS MOTT OSBORNE
(THOMAS BROWN, AUBURN No. 33,333X)

 

 

 

 

NEW YORK AND LONDON
D. APPLETON AND COMPANY
1928

NEW YORK AND LONDON
D. APPLETON AND COMPANY
1928

 

 

 

Copyright, 1914, by
D. APPLETON AND COMPANY

Printed in the United States of America

Copyright, 1914, by
D. APPLETON AND COMPANY

Printed in the USA

 

 

 

THIS LITTLE VOLUME IS DEDICATED TO
OUR BROTHERS IN GRAY
AND ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO, DURING
MY SHORT STAY AMONG THEM IN AUBURN
PRISON, WON MY LASTING GRATITUDE
AND AFFECTION BY THEIR COURTESY,
SYMPATHY, AND UNDERSTANDING

THIS SHORT BOOK IS DEDICATED TO
OUR BROTHERS IN GRAY
AND ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO, DURING
MY BRIEF TIME WITH THEM IN AUBURN
PRISON, EARNED MY ENDURING GRATITUDE
AND AFFECTION THROUGH THEIR KINDNESS,
SYMPATHY, AND UNDERSTANDING.

 

 


CONTENTS

CHAPTER  PAGE
I.Why I Went to Jail 1
II.Sunday Journal 11
III.Monday Morning 24
IV.Monday Afternoon 41
V.The First Night 59
VI.Tuesday Morning 70
VII.Tuesday Afternoon & Evening 88
VIII.Wednesday Morning & Afternoon 108
IX.Wednesday Night 125
X.Thursday 138
XI.Friday 164
XII.Saturday 189
XIII.A Night in Hell 207
XIV.Sunday—The Finish 253
XV.Who benefits? 280
Chapter The End.—The Beginning 314

 

 


WITHIN PRISON WALLS

 

 

CHAPTER I

WHY I WENT TO PRISON

 

Many years back, in my early boyhood, I was taken through Auburn Prison. It has always been the main object of interest in our town, and I was a small sized unit in a party of sightseers. No incident of childhood made a more vivid impression upon me. The dark, scowling faces bent over their tasks; the hideous striped clothing, which carried with it an unexplainable sense of shame; the ugly close cropped heads and shaven faces; the horrible sinuous lines of outcast humanity crawling along in the dreadful lockstep; the whole thing aroused such terror in my imagination that I never recovered from the painful impression. All the nightmares and evil dreams of my childhood centered about the figure of an escaped convict. He chased me along dark streets, where I was unable to run fast or cry aloud; he peeked through windows at me as I lay in bed, even after the shades had been[Pg 2] pinned close to escape his evil eye; as I ascended a flight of stairs in dreamland and looked back, he would come creeping through an open door, holding a long knife in his hand, while my mother all unconscious of danger sat reading under the shaded library lamp; he was a visitor frequent enough to make night hideous for a time, and it was many long years before he took a departure which I trust is final.

Many years ago, in my early childhood, I visited Auburn Prison. It has always been the main attraction in our town, and I was just a small part of a group of sightseers. No event from my childhood left a more powerful impression on me. The dark, angry faces focused on their tasks; the hideous striped uniforms that carried an inexplicable sense of shame; the ugly, closely cropped hair and shaven faces; the terrifying lines of outcast humanity moving in dreadful unison; the whole experience filled me with such fear that I never fully recovered from that painful impression. All the nightmares and dark dreams of my childhood revolved around the figure of an escaped convict. He chased me down dark streets where I couldn't run fast or scream; he peered through windows at me while I lay in bed, even after I had pulled the shades down to escape his menacing gaze; as I climbed a staircase in my dreams and looked back, he would creep through an open door, holding a long knife, while my mother, completely unaware of the danger, sat reading under the soft glow of a library lamp; he was a frequent nightmare that made the night terrifying for a long time, and it took many years before he finally disappeared, which I hope is for good.

After this early experience I carefully avoided the Prison. Its gray stone walls frowned from across the street every time I departed or arrived on a New York Central train, but I made no effort to go again inside. In fact I persistently refused to join my friends whenever they made a visit there; once had been quite enough.

After this early experience, I made sure to stay away from the Prison. Its gray stone walls seemed to glare at me from across the street every time I left or arrived on a New York Central train, but I didn’t make any effort to go back inside. In fact, I consistently turned down my friends whenever they planned a visit there; once was more than enough.

So it was not until many years afterward that I again passed within prison walls. Then my official connection with the Junior Republic and its successful training of wild and mischievous boys brought me in touch with the Prison System. I had been interested in the Elmira Reformatory and had visited Mr. Brockway, the superintendent of that institution. I became acquainted, quite by chance, with a certain prisoner in Sing Sing, and through him interested in other prisoners, there and in Auburn. In due time, I began to appreciate the importance of the general Prison Problem and the difficulties of its solution. Also I felt that my[Pg 3] experience in the Junior Republic had given me a possible clew to that solution.

So it wasn't until many years later that I found myself back inside prison walls. My work with the Junior Republic and its successful approach to helping wild and mischievous boys led me to engage with the Prison System. I had been interested in the Elmira Reformatory and had visited Mr. Brockway, the superintendent there. By chance, I met a certain prisoner in Sing Sing, which led me to take an interest in other inmates there and in Auburn. Over time, I started to understand the significance of the broader Prison Problem and the challenges in solving it. I also felt that my[Pg 3] experience in the Junior Republic had given me a potential clue to that solution.

Thus I was drawn to the prison almost in spite of myself; and, becoming more and more interested, I felt that there was great need of some one’s making a study at first hand—some one sympathetic but not sentimental—of the thoughts and habits of the men whom the state holds in confinement. It is easy to read a textbook on civil government and then fancy we know exactly how the administration of a state is conducted; but the actual facts of practical politics are often miles asunder from the textbook theory. In the same way “the Criminal” has been extensively studied, and deductions as to his instincts, habits and character drawn from the measurements of his ears and nose; but I wanted to get acquainted with the man himself, the man behind the statistics.

So I found myself drawn to the prison almost against my will; and as I became more interested, I realized there was a real need for someone to study firsthand—someone understanding but not overly sentimental— the thoughts and behaviors of the men that the state keeps locked up. It's easy to read a textbook on civil government and think we really know how a state is run; but the actual realities of politics are often worlds apart from what the textbook suggests. Similarly, “the Criminal” has been thoroughly analyzed, with conclusions about his instincts, habits, and character based on the measurements of his ears and nose; but I wanted to meet the man himself, the person behind the statistics.

So the idea of some day entering prison and actually living the life of a convict first occurred to me more than three years ago. Talking with a friend, after his release from prison, concerning his own experience and the need of changes in the System, I brought forward the idea that it was impossible for those of us on the outside to deal in full sympathy and understanding with the man within the walls until we had come in close personal contact with him, and had had something like a physical experience of similar conditions. We discussed how the thing could be done in case[Pg 4] the circumstances ever came about so that it would become desirable for me to do it. He agreed as to the general proposition; but nevertheless shook his head somewhat doubtfully. “There is no question but that you’d learn a lot,” he said; then added, “but I think you’d find it rather a tough experience.” He made the suggestion that if ever the plan were carried out autumn would be the best season, as the cells would be least uncomfortable at that time of year.

So the idea of someday going to prison and actually living as a convict first came to me over three years ago. I was talking with a friend after his release from prison about his own experiences and the need for changes in the system. I brought up the point that it's impossible for those of us on the outside to truly empathize with someone inside the walls until we've had close personal contact with them and experienced something similar ourselves. We talked about how this could happen if the circumstances ever arose that would make it worthwhile for me to do it. He agreed with the general idea but still seemed a bit doubtful. “There’s no question you’d learn a lot,” he said, adding, “but I think you’d find it a pretty tough experience.” He suggested that if the plan ever went ahead, fall would be the best season since the cells would be the least uncomfortable at that time of year.

Time passed, and while I continued to have an interest in the Prison Problem, the interest was a passive rather than an active one. Then on a red-letter day in the summer of 1912, being confined to the house by a slight illness, I read Donald Lowrie’s book, “My Life in Prison.” That vivid picture of prison conditions, written so simply yet with such power and such complete and evident sincerity, stirred me to the depths. It made me feel that I had no right any longer to be silent or indifferent; I must do my share to remove the foulest blot upon our social system.

Time went by, and even though I still had an interest in the Prison Problem, it was more of a passive interest than an active one. Then, on a significant day in the summer of 1912, while I was stuck at home with a minor illness, I read Donald Lowrie’s book, “My Life in Prison.” That vivid depiction of prison conditions, written so simply yet with such power and clear sincerity, deeply moved me. It made me realize that I could no longer remain silent or indifferent; I had to do my part to address the most shameful issue in our social system.

Thereafter when called upon to speak in public, I usually made Prison Reform the subject of my talk, advancing certain ideas gathered from my experience with the boys of the Junior Republic, endeavoring not only to crystalize my own views as to the prisons but to get others to turn their thoughts in the same direction.

Thereafter, when asked to speak in public, I typically chose Prison Reform as my topic, sharing some ideas I’d gathered from my experiences with the boys of the Junior Republic. I aimed not only to clarify my own thoughts on prisons but also to inspire others to consider the same issues.

[Pg 5]Finally came an appointment by Governor Sulzer to a State Commission on Prison Reform, suggested to the Governor by Judge Riley, the new Superintendent of Prisons. My position as chairman of the Commission made it seem desirable, if not necessary, to inform myself to the utmost as to the inner conditions of the prisons and the needs of the inmates. I do not mean that it was necessary to reinvestigate the material aspect of the prisons—it is known already that the conditions at Sing Sing are barbaric, and those at Auburn medieval—but that it was desirable to get all possible light regarding the actual effect of the System as a whole, or specific parts of it, upon the prisoners.

[Pg 5]Finally, Governor Sulzer appointed me to a State Commission on Prison Reform, a suggestion from Judge Riley, the new Superintendent of Prisons. As the chair of the Commission, it seemed essential for me to thoroughly understand the inner workings of the prisons and the needs of the inmates. I’m not saying it was necessary to re-examine the physical conditions of the prisons—it’s already known that Sing Sing's conditions are harsh and Auburn's are outdated—but it was important to gather as much information as possible about how the System as a whole, or its specific parts, actually affects the prisoners.

I began to feel, therefore, that the time had come to carry out the plan which had been so long in the background of my mind. I discussed it long and earnestly with a certain dear friend, who gave me needed encouragement; the Superintendent of Prisons and the Warden at Auburn approved; and, last but not least, an intelligent convict in whom I confided thought it a decidedly good idea. None of us, to be sure, realized the way in which the thing was actually to work out. It became a much more vital and far-reaching experiment than we had any of us expected or could have dared to hope. We were not prepared for the way in which the imaginations of[Pg 6] many people, both in and out of prison, were to be touched and stimulated.

I started to feel that the time had finally come to put into action the plan that had been on my mind for so long. I talked about it at length and seriously with a close friend, who encouraged me. The Superintendent of Prisons and the Warden at Auburn were on board, and, last but not least, an insightful inmate I confided in thought it was a great idea. None of us, of course, realized how things would actually turn out. It turned into a much more significant and impactful experiment than any of us had expected or dared to hope for. We were unprepared for how the imaginations of[Pg 6] so many people, inside and outside of prison, would be touched and inspired.

Originally I had intended to enter the prison in disguise. In that way I thought one could learn the most, as one would stand a much better chance of seeing the System in its normal working order. Upon mature reflection, however, this idea was given up. The Warden felt strongly that there would be danger of the best possible disguise being penetrated where so many pairs of sharp eyes were on the watch; and I agreed with him that in such event I could not avoid being set down as a spy by both officers and prisoners, and my real object fatally misunderstood. The little additional knowledge I might secure by being unknown would not pay for the danger of complete failure. In this conclusion the intelligent convict joined, for he had pointed out from the first that, while there were certain obvious disadvantages in being known, yet there were also certain advantages great enough to more than counterbalance. He said that if I could spare two months for the visit it would be better to come disguised, but that it would certainly take as long as that to get into the game. “You know we’re awful suspicious,” he added, by way of explanation; “and we don’t open up to any new fellow until we know he’s on the level.” He maintained therefore that, having only a week, I had much better make no secret of it, but come in my own person. His view[Pg 7] was confirmed by the event. I not only learned far more than if I had been unknown, but I so gained the confidence of the prisoners that many of them have become my devoted and valued friends.

Originally, I planned to enter the prison in disguise. I thought this would allow me to learn the most since I'd have a better chance of seeing the System functioning normally. However, after thinking it over, I abandoned that idea. The Warden strongly believed that even the best disguise could be seen through when there are so many sharp eyes watching. I agreed that if that happened, I’d be labeled a spy by both the officers and the prisoners, completely misunderstanding my real purpose. The little extra knowledge I might gain by being anonymous wasn't worth the risk of total failure. The smart inmate agreed with me, pointing out early on that while there were clear drawbacks to being recognized, there were also significant advantages that outweighed those drawbacks. He said if I could spare two months for the visit, it would be better to come in disguise, but it would definitely take that long to get into the swing of things. “You know we’re really suspicious,” he explained, “and we don’t open up to any new person until we know they’re trustworthy.” He insisted that since I only had a week, I should make no secret of it and just come as myself. His perspective was confirmed by what happened. I ended up learning much more than I would have if I had been unknown, and I gained the trust of the prisoners, many of whom have become my loyal and valued friends.

The account in the following chapters of my week in Auburn Prison is taken from the pages of a journal I kept during my confinement. In that I jotted down, day by day, every incident no matter how trivial it seemed at the time; so that I possess a very complete record of my week in prison.

The story in the following chapters about my week in Auburn Prison comes from the journal I kept while I was there. I wrote down every event, no matter how small it seemed at the time, day by day; so I have a very detailed record of my week in prison.

As I have transcribed the pages of the diary I have lived over again every moment of that remarkably vivid experience, finding that almost every act, every word, every detail, is fairly burned into my memory. I have scarcely needed the pages of the journal, nor the long account of our week together which my working partner in the basket shop, Jack Murphy, wrote out at my request.

As I've copied the pages of the diary, I've relived every moment of that incredibly vivid experience, realizing that nearly every action, every word, and every detail is deeply etched in my memory. I've barely needed the journal pages or the detailed account of our week together that my coworker at the basket shop, Jack Murphy, wrote at my request.

I shall not attempt to draw up any bill of indictment against the Prison System, or to suggest specific improvements, either in general principles or administrative details; I shall simply set down the facts and my feelings as accurately as I can.

I won’t try to make a case against the prison system or suggest specific improvements, whether in general principles or administrative details; I’ll just state the facts and my feelings as clearly as I can.

One final word by way of introduction. Many newspapers, presumably reflecting the impressions[Pg 8] of a considerable number of individuals, have expressed the idea that nothing of value could possibly have been obtained because I was not a real convict; although the same newspapers would probably be the first to discredit any statements a real convict might make. Foreseeing such criticism, I had tried to forestall it in the remarks I addressed to the prisoners the day before my experiment began; and if some of my editorial critics had taken the trouble to read their own press dispatches, they might have been saved some distress of mind. No one could have understood better than I did at the outset, that it is impossible to place yourself exactly in the shoes of a man who has been sentenced to prison for an actual crime; I did not expect to do so. No one, so far as I know, has ever yet succeeded in putting himself precisely in the place of another in any given set of circumstances; yet that does not keep us from constantly studying and analyzing the human problem. It still remains true that “The proper study of mankind is man.” In this particular instance, perhaps some things of value were obtained for the very reason that I was not a criminal. Possibly I could judge of some matters with a juster appreciation than could any man suffering involuntary imprisonment. It did, in fact, surprise me very much that anyone could succeed to so great an extent in putting himself in the place and in sharing so many of the sensations[Pg 9] of an actual prisoner. Time and again I heard from others the expression of thoughts and feelings which I recognized as those which had swept over me; and I found that, partly by force of imagination and environment and partly by the actual physical conditions of confinement, one could really come into astonishingly close sympathy and understanding with the prisoner. The truth of this can, I believe, be seen in my narrative and has been demonstrated many times since my release.

One last thing before I start. Many newspapers, probably reflecting the views of a significant number of people, have suggested that no real value could come from my experience since I wasn’t an actual convict; yet those same newspapers would likely be the first to doubt any statements made by a true convict. Anticipating this kind of criticism, I tried to address it in the remarks I made to the prisoners the day before my experiment began; and if some of my editorial critics had bothered to read their own press reports, they might have saved themselves some worry. No one understood better than I did from the beginning that you can't fully step into the shoes of someone sentenced to prison for a real crime; I didn’t expect to. As far as I know, no one has ever managed to perfectly place themselves in another's position in any specific situation; still, that doesn’t stop us from continually studying and analyzing human experiences. It's still true that “The proper study of mankind is man.” In this case, it’s possible that some valuable insights were gained precisely because I wasn’t a criminal. I might have been able to evaluate certain issues with a clearer perspective than someone genuinely enduring forced imprisonment. I was genuinely surprised that anyone could so successfully put themselves in the place of a real prisoner and share so many of their feelings. Time and again, I heard others express thoughts and emotions that I recognized as those I experienced; and I found that, partly through imagination and environment, and partly because of the actual physical conditions of confinement, one could really develop an astonishing level of sympathy and understanding for the prisoner. I believe the truth of this can be seen in my story and has been proven many times since I was released.

Of course all this would not have been possible had not the attitude of both officers and inmates been just what it was. As I look back, it seems to me that all hands played their parts to perfection. The strict orders of the Warden that I was to receive no favors whatever and must be treated exactly like any ordinary inmate, were literally carried out—except in the two or three unimportant instances noted in my journal. But far more remarkable was the attitude of the prisoners. An outsider would never have detected a look or an action to indicate that there was any difference between “Tom Brown” and any other inmate of the institution. Of course it could not be absolutely the same; it was not possible for me to escape being an object of interest; and I often felt around me a sort of suppressed excitement; although, as I glanced again at the stolid gray automatons, among whom I marched or sat at[Pg 10] mess, I would think it must be only my imagination—a reflex of my own excitement. Still I would catch an occasional smile, a wink, a lifting of an eyebrow, the ghost of a nod—to show that those silent figures were not really indifferent to my presence among them. And as I went to my cell for the night, there might be a momentary pause by a gray-clothed figure at the door, and a low whisper, “How does it go, Tom?” All such things, however, might well have been in the case of any new convict who had figured in the public prints and had thus become an object of common interest.

Of course, all this wouldn’t have been possible without the attitudes of both the officers and the inmates being exactly what they were. Looking back, it seems like everyone played their roles perfectly. The Warden’s strict orders for me to receive no special treatment and to be treated just like any regular inmate were followed to the letter—except for the two or three minor instances noted in my journal. But even more remarkable was the attitude of the prisoners. An outsider would never have noticed any look or action indicating that there was any difference between “Tom Brown” and any other inmate in the institution. Of course, it couldn't be completely the same; it was impossible for me not to be an object of interest. I often sensed a sort of suppressed excitement around me; however, as I glanced again at the stolid gray automatons among whom I marched or sat at[Pg 10] mess, I thought it must just be my imagination—a reflection of my own excitement. Still, I would catch an occasional smile, a wink, a raised eyebrow, or a subtle nod to show that those silent figures were not really indifferent to my presence among them. And as I headed to my cell for the night, there might be a brief pause by a gray-clothed figure at the door and a quiet whisper, “How's it going, Tom?” All these moments could easily have been the case for any new convict who had been featured in the news and had thus become a subject of common interest.

After all possible deductions have been made, the fact remains that my experiment met conditions at the prison which, thanks to officers and inmates, led to a large measure of gratifying success. It is hard to see how, from any point of view, the experience could have been improved upon; it is hard to see how I could possibly have learned more in a week than I did. If it were to be done over again, there is nothing whatever that I would change. It has been not only a novel and most interesting experience, it has been a wonderful revelation. I have come out of prison with a new conception of the inherent nobility of human nature, a new belief in the power of men to respond to the right conditions and the right appeal. I have come out with a new sense of human brotherhood, a new faith in God.

After all possible deductions have been made, the fact remains that my experiment encountered conditions at the prison which, thanks to the officers and inmates, led to a significant level of satisfying success. It’s hard to see how, from any perspective, the experience could have been improved; it’s hard to believe that I could have learned more in a week than I did. If I were to do it again, there’s nothing I would change. It has not only been a unique and fascinating experience, but it has also been a remarkable revelation. I came out of prison with a new understanding of the inherent nobility of human nature, a renewed belief in people’s ability to respond positively to the right conditions and appeals. I emerged with a new sense of human brotherhood, and a refreshed faith in God.

 

 


CHAPTER II

SUNDAY’S JOURNAL

 

September 28, 1913. 9.30 P. M.

September 28, 1913. 9:30 PM

All is ready for my great adventure. Indeed the first steps have been taken. This morning I went down to the Prison to speak at the chapel exercises as planned; but arrived early, about nine o’clock, at Warden Rattigan’s request, in order to inform the Chaplain as to what I am proposing to do. He seemed very much surprised and pleased. The Warden also explained the matter to the Principal Keeper; but I shall not attempt to venture a guess at his feelings, for I was not present. I can imagine, however, that the official view may not be one altogether in sympathy with my experiment. The official mind, as a rule, prefers to have things viewed strictly from the “congregation side”; it does not approve of interlopers behind the scenes; which is not, perhaps, altogether unnatural.

Everything is set for my big adventure. In fact, I've already taken the first steps. This morning, I went to the prison to speak at the chapel service as planned, but I arrived early, around nine o’clock, at Warden Rattigan’s request, to inform the Chaplain about my proposal. He seemed quite surprised and pleased. The Warden also explained the situation to the Principal Keeper, but I won’t try to guess his feelings since I wasn't there. I can imagine, though, that the official perspective might not fully align with my experiment. Usually, the official stance prefers to view things strictly from the “congregation side”; it doesn't support outsiders interfering behind the scenes, which is probably not entirely unreasonable.

[Pg 12]When the prisoners are all assembled, the Chaplain leads the way and we walk down the aisle of the chapel or assembly room—the latter name seems more appropriate, as there is very little there to suggest religion. Ascending the platform, we are greeted by a cordial round of applause; the men have apparently not forgotten my talk to them in the yard last July, when I explained what our Prison Reform Commission hopes to accomplish, and asked their assistance.

[Pg 12]When all the prisoners are gathered, the Chaplain takes the lead, and we walk down the aisle of the chapel or assembly room—the latter term feels more fitting since there’s not much to indicate it's a place of worship. Climbing up onto the platform, we receive a warm round of applause; the men seem to remember my speech to them in the yard last July, where I shared the goals of our Prison Reform Commission and asked for their help.

I take my seat upon the platform and, while awaiting my turn to speak, endeavor to listen to the service. Before me sit rows and rows of men in gray trousers and faded shirts, upward of 1,300—not a full house, for a considerable number are out in the road-building camps. Gray predominates—not only in the gray clothes but in the heads and faces. There are a few bright spots of youth and manly vigor, and some black negro heads, but the general impression is gray; gray, and faded, and prematurely old. It is a sad audience, to which a sinister aspect is given by the sight of the guards—silent, alert, blue-clothed figures, youthful for the most part, seated with watchful eyes and weapons handy, each in a raised chair near his own particular company.

I take my seat on the platform and, while waiting for my turn to speak, try to listen to the service. In front of me are rows and rows of men in gray pants and worn-out shirts, more than 1,300—not a full house, since many are out in the road-building camps. Gray is everywhere—not just in their clothes but in their hair and faces too. There are a few bright spots of youth and strength, along with some Black men, but the overall impression is gray; gray, faded, and prematurely aged. It’s a somber audience, and the sight of the guards adds a sinister feel—silent, alert figures in blue uniforms, mostly young, sitting with watchful eyes and weapons close, each in a raised chair near their specific group.

But, although a sad audience to look upon, it is, as I have found on previous occasions, a most wonderfully sensitive and responsive audience to address. Each point of the discourse is caught[Pg 13] with extraordinary quickness; every slight attempt at humor is seized upon with pathetic avidity. The speaker soon finds himself stimulated and carried along, as by a strange and powerful force he has never felt before. It is an exciting and exhilarating experience to talk to a prison audience; but one must take good care not to be a bore, nor to try any cheap oratorical tricks; for it is not only a keen and critical audience, it is a merciless one.

But, even though it’s a sad sight to see, I’ve learned from past experiences that it's actually a really sensitive and engaged audience to speak to. Every point I make is picked up on with incredible speed; even the slightest attempt at humor is grasped with eager enthusiasm. The speaker quickly feels energized and carried away by a strange and powerful force he’s never experienced before. It's an exciting and uplifting experience to talk to a prison audience; however, one must be careful not to be boring or resort to cheap rhetorical tricks, because they are not only attentive and discerning but also unforgiving.

This morning I am not at all afraid of boring the hearers; but I do wonder whether they will fully take in my meaning; and how those who do understand will like the idea of my coming among them; and if some of them understand and sympathize, will it be a few only, or a majority; and if a majority, how large; and will the minority resent it sufficiently to be disagreeable?

This morning, I'm not worried about boring the listeners; I do wonder if they'll really grasp what I mean. I'm curious how those who do understand will feel about me being here, and if some of them relate to me, will it just be a few or most of them? And if it is most, how many are we talking about? Will the ones who disagree be enough to cause any tension?

These are some of the questions which go buzzing through my mind as I sit trying in vain to listen to the singing of the prison choir and the Scripture lesson which the Chaplain is reading. Finally I am called upon to speak; and as I advance to the front of the stage another round of applause comes from the audience. It has rather a startling effect upon one, for applause in the prison chapel has always somewhat the character of an explosion—an explosion of pent-up feelings denied any ordinary freedom of expression.[Pg 14] Hand-clapping is the only form permitted, and it sounds like the snapping of firecrackers.

These are some of the thoughts racing through my mind as I sit here trying unsuccessfully to listen to the prison choir singing and the Scripture lesson the Chaplain is reading. Finally, I'm called to speak, and as I walk to the front of the stage, another round of applause erupts from the audience. It's a bit shocking because applause in the prison chapel always feels like an explosion—an explosion of emotions that haven't had any normal way to express themselves. [Pg 14] Hand-clapping is the only form allowed, and it sounds like firecrackers going off.

I advance to the front of the stage and stumble through the first words of explanation as to the reasons for having my speech carefully written out—in order to avoid any possible misunderstanding afterward as to what I really have said. Then I clear my throat and read the address which follows.

I step up to the front of the stage and fumble through the first words explaining why I wrote my speech out—it’s to prevent any misunderstandings later about what I actually said. Then I clear my throat and read the address that follows.

The Superintendent of Prisons and Warden Rattigan have kindly given me permission to carry out a plan which has been in my mind for some time; and to carry it out successfully I need your coöperation—both officials and prisoners.

The Superintendent of Prisons and Warden Rattigan have generously allowed me to pursue a plan I've been considering for a while; to make it work, I need your cooperation—both from the officials and the inmates.

As most of you doubtless know, I am chairman of the Commission on Prison Reform appointed by Governor Sulzer to examine into the Prison System of New York State, determine what changes would be desirable and formulate legislation necessary to bring about such changes. The members of the Commission since their appointment have been quietly at work informing themselves as to the manner in which the present System works out, its effect upon prisoners, the measure of its success as a means of reducing crime throughout the state.

As many of you probably know, I am the chair of the Commission on Prison Reform that Governor Sulzer appointed to look into New York State's prison system, figure out what changes are needed, and draft the legislation required to implement those changes. Since their appointment, the Commission members have been quietly working to understand how the current system operates, its impact on inmates, and how effective it is at reducing crime across the state.

It must be evident that any such examination, seriously undertaken, is an extremely complex and difficult matter. Not only are trustworthy statistics absolutely lacking by which to determine the more obvious facts, but statistics are manifestly impossible to secure regarding the deepest and most important parts of the problem—for instance, as[Pg 15] to the psychological effect on the prisoners themselves of the Prison System, both as a whole and as to certain specific rules and regulations.

It’s clear that any serious examination of this issue is incredibly complex and challenging. Not only are there no reliable statistics available to establish the more obvious facts, but it’s also clearly impossible to gather data on the deeper and more crucial aspects of the problem—for example, regarding[Pg 15] the psychological impact on the prisoners themselves, both in terms of the Prison System overall and specific rules and regulations.

For much of the most important work of the Commission, therefore, we must fall back on such experience of life and knowledge of human nature as its members may possess. And it is with a desire to extend my own knowledge and experience in the service of the Commission that I ask your help in carrying out the plan to which I have referred.

For a lot of the crucial work of the Commission, we need to rely on the life experiences and understanding of human nature that its members have. I’m seeking your support to enhance my own knowledge and experience in order to contribute to the plan I mentioned.

When a man wishes to understand as fully as possible the temper and character of the people of a foreign country—England or France, Germany, India, China—he can consult a great deal of printed matter; but he will not be satisfied until he has made a personal visit to the country itself. For instance, I have but the merest smattering of the French language, and I have been privileged to know socially but very few Frenchmen, yet my visits to France have given me an infinitely better idea of the country and people than I could ever have received from books. The actual sights and sounds of a country seem to provide the foundation for a far better understanding of its history, a more thorough appreciation of all that can be read and heard of it thereafter.

When someone wants to fully understand the temperament and character of people in a foreign country—whether it’s England, France, Germany, India, or China—they can read a lot of printed material, but they won't feel completely satisfied until they visit the country themselves. For example, I only know a little bit of French and have only met a handful of French people socially, but my trips to France have given me a much clearer understanding of the country and its people than I could ever get from books. The real sights and sounds of a place seem to lay the groundwork for a much deeper understanding of its history and a greater appreciation for everything you read or hear about it afterward.

If this sympathy and understanding, coming from a vivid personal experience, is desirable in the case of a foreign country, it is even more necessary in the case of a group of men set apart by society, such as this community of the prison; for in your case the conditions under which you live are more unnatural and less easy for most people to grasp than those of a foreign country.[Pg 16] Moreover, most of the books that have been written about you by so-called penologists and other “experts” are written, so far as I can determine, from such an outside standpoint and with so little intelligent sympathy and vital understanding that I am inclined to the belief that very few of them are of any particular value. Indeed many are positively harmful; for they are based upon the false and cruel assumption that the prisoner is not a human being like the rest of us, but a strange sort of animal called a “criminal”—wholly different in his instincts, feelings and actions from the rest of mankind.

If this empathy and understanding, coming from a vivid personal experience, is valuable when it comes to a foreign country, it is even more crucial for a group of individuals marginalized by society, like this prison community. The conditions you face are more unnatural and harder for most people to comprehend than those of a foreign land.[Pg 16] Furthermore, most of the books written about you by so-called penologists and other "experts" are, from what I can tell, written from an outsider's perspective and lack genuine empathy and deep understanding. I believe very few of them offer much real value. In fact, many are outright harmful, as they are based on the false and cruel idea that prisoners are not human beings like the rest of us, but rather a bizarre kind of creature called a “criminal”—completely different in their instincts, emotions, and behaviors from everyone else.

I am curious to find out, therefore, whether I am right; whether our Prison System is as unintelligent as I think it is; whether it flies in the face of all common sense and all human nature, as I think it does; whether, guided by sympathy and experience, we cannot find something far better to take its place, as I believe we can.

I’m eager to discover if I'm correct; if our prison system is as foolish as I believe; if it ignores common sense and human nature, as I think it does; and if, based on empathy and experience, we can't come up with something much better to replace it, as I believe we can.

So by permission of the authorities and with your help, I am coming here to learn what I can at first hand. I have put myself on trial in the court of conscience and a verdict has been rendered of “guilty”—guilty of having lived for many years of my life indifferent to and ignorant of what was going on behind these walls. For this crime I have sentenced myself to a short term at hard labor in Auburn Prison (with commutation, of course, for good behavior). I expect to begin serving my sentence this week. I am coming here to live your life; to be housed, clothed, fed, treated in all respects like one of you. I want to see for myself exactly what your life is like, not as viewed from the outside looking in, but from the inside looking out.

So, with the authorities' permission and your assistance, I'm here to learn firsthand. I've put myself on trial in my conscience, and the verdict is “guilty”—guilty of having spent many years indifferent to and unaware of what’s happening behind these walls. For this, I've sentenced myself to a brief period of hard labor in Auburn Prison (with good behavior credits, of course). I expect to start my sentence this week. I’m here to live your life; to be housed, clothed, fed, and treated just like one of you. I want to experience exactly what your life is like, not from an outsider’s perspective, but from the inside looking out.

[Pg 17]Of course I am not so foolish as to think that I can see it from exactly your point of view. Manifestly a man cannot be a real prisoner when he may at any moment let down the bars and walk out; and spending a few hours or days in a cell is quite a different thing from a weary round of weeks, months, years. Nor is prison a mere matter of clothes, they cannot make a convict any more than they can make a gentleman. I realize perfectly that my point of view cannot be yours; but neither when I go to Paris is my point of view that of a Frenchman. Just as an American may perhaps understand some things about Paris which are not so clear to the average Frenchman, so perhaps a short residence among you here may enable me to judge some things about the Prison System more accurately than those who live too close to the problem to see it in its true perspective.

[Pg 17]Of course, I'm not naive enough to think that I can fully understand your perspective. Clearly, someone isn't a true prisoner if they can simply let down the bars and walk out at any moment; spending a few hours or days in a cell is completely different from enduring a long stretch of weeks, months, or years. Also, prison isn't just about the clothes; those can't turn someone into a convict any more than they can transform someone into a gentleman. I completely acknowledge that my perspective isn't the same as yours, but when I visit Paris, my viewpoint isn't that of a Frenchman either. Just as an American might grasp some aspects of Paris that aren't as clear to the average French person, maybe my short time spent here will allow me to understand certain things about the Prison System more clearly than those who are too close to the issue to see it in its true context.

A word to the officials. My plan will not altogether succeed unless I am treated exactly like these other men. I ask you, therefore, to aid me by making no discrimination in my favor. Relax your regular discipline not a jot because I am here. Give me the same guidance as these others—but no more. If I offend against the rules, deal out to me the same punishment—I shall expect it.

A note to the officials. My plan won’t fully succeed unless I’m treated exactly like these other men. So, I ask you to help me by not showing any favoritism. Don’t relax your usual rules at all just because I’m here. Give me the same guidance as these others—but nothing extra. If I break the rules, give me the same punishment—I’ll expect it.

Here again I do not deceive myself; I realize perfectly that I shall not see the Prison System in quite its normal running order. Things can hardly, with the best intentions, keep going exactly the same while I am here. Long ago when I was a very young school commissioner I found out that neither teachers nor scholars can behave quite naturally when a member of the school board is present. But let me assure you that I come not on any[Pg 18] errand of official investigation. I come in no sense as a spy upon officers or inmates; I come not to discover anything; I come solely to test, so far as I can, the effect of the system upon the mind of the prisoner. I shall study myself, rather than you; or rather, I shall study you through myself.

Here again, I'm not fooling myself; I fully understand that I won't see the prison system operating in its usual way. Things can't possibly keep running exactly the same while I'm here, even with the best intentions. A long time ago, when I was a young school commissioner, I learned that neither teachers nor students can act completely naturally when a school board member is around. But let me assure you that I'm not here on any[Pg 18] official investigation. I’m not here as a spy on the officers or inmates; I’m not here to uncover anything; I'm only here to assess, as much as I can, the impact of the system on the prisoner's mindset. I’ll be studying myself, rather than you; or rather, I’ll be observing you through my own experiences.

Perhaps many of you will think, as many outside the walls will think, that at best this action is quixotic—another “fool’s errand, by one of the fools.” I shall not argue the matter further. I believe that I fully realize the shortcomings which will attend the experience, yet still I shall undertake it. For somehow, deep down, I have the feeling that after I have really lived among you, marched in your lines, shared your food, gone to the same cells at night, and in the morning looked out at the pieces of God’s sunlight through the same iron bars—that then, and not until then, can I feel the knowledge which will break down the barriers between my soul and the souls of my brothers.

Perhaps many of you will think, as many outside these walls will think, that at best this action is idealistic—another “fool’s errand, by one of the fools.” I won’t argue this any further. I know I fully understand the challenges that will come with this experience, yet I will still take it on. Because somehow, deep down, I feel that after I have truly lived among you, marched alongside you, shared your meals, gone to the same cells at night, and in the morning looked out at the rays of God’s sunlight through the same iron bars—that then, and not until then, will I feel the understanding that will break down the barriers between my soul and the souls of my brothers.

A final word to you all. When I come among you do your best to forget who I am. Think of me only as a new and quite uninteresting arrival. Think of me not as a member of the Prison Reform Commission, nor as the fellow townsman of you officers, but as plain Tom Brown or Jones or Robinson, sent by the courts for some breach of the law and who is no more to you for the present than any other Tom, Dick or Harry. Some day in the future, after I have done my time, perhaps my experience may be of service to you and to the State, but of that we will talk later. In the meantime, help me to learn the truth.

A final word to you all. When I come among you, try to forget who I am. Think of me only as a new and totally unremarkable arrival. Don’t think of me as a member of the Prison Reform Commission, or as a fellow townsman of you officers, but just as plain Tom Brown or Jones or Robinson, sent by the courts for some violation of the law and who is currently no different from any other Tom, Dick, or Harry. Someday in the future, after I’ve served my time, maybe my experience will be useful to you and to the State, but we’ll talk about that later. In the meantime, help me figure out the truth.

[Pg 19]I have already attempted to describe my state of mind at the commencement of this talk. As I went on, there came the feeling that, keen as they usually are, the men were having some difficulty in grasping my full meaning; were in doubt whether I really did intend to carry out in all sincerity the plan of actually living their life. But as they began to comprehend the full significance of the idea, their applause increased in volume and heartiness.[1]

[Pg 19]I’ve already tried to express how I felt at the start of this talk. As I continued, I sensed that, despite their usual sharpness, the men were struggling to fully understand my meaning; they were uncertain if I genuinely intended to fully embrace their way of life. However, as they began to grasp the true significance of the idea, their applause grew louder and more enthusiastic.[1]

I have spoken of the sensitive quickness of the prison audience; I experienced an instance. When the next to the last paragraph of my address was first written, I used the words, “and in the morning looked out at God’s sunlight through the same iron bars.” Then there had come into my mind the picture made by the grated window, and I added three words so as to read, “looked out at the pieces of God’s sunlight.” As I spoke those words a burst of hearty laughter at the touch of irony came so quickly that I had to wait before finishing the clause; at the close of the sentence,[Pg 20] with its note of brotherhood, all laughter ceased at once; and the loudest applause of the morning showed me that what I had said had struck just the right note, and that the help I wanted from the prisoners would not be lacking.

I talked about how sensitive and quick the prison audience was, and I had a moment that showed me just how true that was. When I first wrote the next-to-last paragraph of my speech, I had the phrase, “and in the morning looked out at God’s sunlight through the same iron bars.” Then I thought about the image created by the grated window, and I added three words, changing it to “looked out at the pieces of God’s sunlight.” As I said those words, a wave of genuine laughter broke out due to the irony, so I had to pause before finishing the sentence; by the end of the phrase,[Pg 20] which carried a feeling of connection, all laughter suddenly stopped, and the loudest applause of the morning made it clear that what I had said resonated perfectly, and that the support I sought from the prisoners would be there.

After my address I leave the Prison and proceed to my office where I am interviewed by representatives of the press. This is a disagreeable duty which I had up to this last moment hoped to escape; for even after giving up the notion of disguise I had still cherished the idea that it was possible, with the aid of the Warden, to keep my adventure from being made public until it was all over. But in our talk this morning the Warden very quickly convinced me that secrecy is impossible.

After my speech, I leave the prison and head to my office, where I’m interviewed by members of the press. This is an unpleasant task that I had hoped to avoid right up until this last moment; even after abandoning the idea of disguising myself, I still held on to the hope that, with the Warden's help, I could keep my experience from being made public until it was all over. However, during our conversation this morning, the Warden quickly made it clear to me that keeping it a secret isn’t an option.

“Can’t you give instructions to all the officers to say nothing about it outside?” I ask.

“Can't you tell all the officers to keep quiet about it outside?” I ask.

“Certainly I can,” is the Warden’s reply; “and you know as well as I just how much good it would do. Here are a hundred officers; they might have the best intentions, but each one would have to confide it to his wife, and she to her dearest friend; and it would be all over town in less than two hours. You must remember that this is a very interesting performance, and you can’t keep it quiet. I’ll try it if you say so, but my belief is that it would be a mistake. You might better see to it that it gets into the newspapers in the shape you[Pg 21] want, rather than let it leak out and be misrepresented, intentionally or otherwise.”

“Of course I can,” the Warden replied, “and you know just as well as I do how little good it would achieve. Here are a hundred officers; they might have the best intentions, but each one would have to tell his wife, and she would tell her closest friend; and it would spread around town in under two hours. You have to remember that this is a very captivating event, and you can’t keep it a secret. I’ll give it a shot if you tell me to, but I believe it would be a mistake. You’d be better off making sure it gets into the newspapers the way you[Pg 21] want it, instead of letting it leak out and get twisted, whether on purpose or not.”

The Warden has the old newspaper man’s instinct, and reluctantly I have to admit that his view is correct. So without more ado I turn my attention to aiding the press to get what there is, and if possible get it straight. Fortunately the local representative of many important papers is more than usually careful and intelligent. I hand him a copy of my address of this morning and he gets to work. If we cannot have secrecy then let us have all the publicity we can. After all, the newspapers may interest people in my adventure, and thus stimulate an interest in Prison Reform. I am willing to waive my personal preferences if by so doing I can help forward the cause; especially as the satisfaction of my personal preferences is manifestly impossible.

The Warden has that old-school journalist instinct, and I have to admit, he’s right. So, without wasting any time, I focus on helping the press get the information they need, and if possible, make sure it’s accurate. Luckily, the local reporter for several major newspapers is more careful and savvy than usual. I give him a copy of my speech from this morning, and he gets to work. If we can’t keep things secret, let’s make the most of the publicity. After all, the newspapers might spark people's interest in my story, which could, in turn, raise awareness about Prison Reform. I’m willing to set aside my personal feelings if it helps the cause, especially since satisfying those feelings is clearly impossible.

After this I give attention to my private affairs which are arranged for the coming week. Strict orders are issued that no attempt be made to reach me with personal matters of any sort, except in a case of the most extreme importance. I am to be as completely shut off from the world, from my family and friends, as any regular prisoner. So when it comes to this point I begin to feel rather serious. I am aware of a certain sinking at the heart, doubtless a form of fear; the unknown always has terrors.

After this, I focus on my personal matters that I've planned for the coming week. I've given strict instructions that no one should try to contact me about personal issues unless it's an absolute emergency. I need to be completely cut off from the world, my family, and friends, just like any regular prisoner. So when it gets to this point, I start to feel quite serious. There's a certain heaviness in my chest, probably a kind of fear; the unknown always brings its own anxieties.

[Pg 22]The plan determined upon with the Warden is that I shall be placed with the Idle Company for the first day or two—those poor fellows whom I have often seen in the prison yard during the past summer, taking their melancholy exercise by marching aimlessly up and down, and occasionally resting by sitting on their buckets; then along about the third day to go to one of the shops—which one to be determined later. But the Warden told me this afternoon that upon mentioning this plan to one of the officials he had protested. “I shouldn’t like to have Mr. Osborne put with that Idle Company. They’re the toughest bunch of fellows in the Prison.”

[Pg 22]The plan I discussed with the Warden is that I'll join the Idle Company for the first day or two—those poor guys I've seen in the prison yard over the past summer, aimlessly marching back and forth and sometimes taking breaks by sitting on their buckets. Then, around the third day, I’ll move to one of the shops—exact shop to be decided later. However, the Warden told me this afternoon that when he mentioned this plan to one of the officials, he objected. “I wouldn’t want Mr. Osborne to be with that Idle Company. They're the toughest group in the Prison.”

“That’s just what he wants,” was the Warden’s reply.

"That's exactly what he wants," the Warden replied.

It is true, I do want to make acquaintance with the worst as well as the best; but I can’t help feeling just a trifle uneasy at the prospect of close relations with the toughest bunch in the Prison; to say nothing of my query as to just how the toughest bunch in the Prison is going to meet me. What will they be like at close range? And, if they do not look with favor upon my action, in what way will their resentment be shown? These questions keep rising to the surface. At the same time, I begin to be aware of an ache in one of my teeth where a filling came out some time ago. Luckily I did not say on just what day my term would begin, although of course I’ve had to-morrow in[Pg 23] mind right along. If my toothache gets worse, I can wait over another day and have it attended to. Perhaps, on the whole it would be best to wait over another day. On the other hand, I have an idea that the toothache is nothing but plain cowardice.

It’s true, I want to get to know both the worst and the best, but I can’t help feeling a bit uneasy about getting close to the toughest crew in the Prison; not to mention my concern about how this tough bunch is going to react to me. What will they be like up close? And if they don’t like what I’m doing, how will they show their anger? These questions keep coming to mind. At the same time, I notice a pain in one of my teeth where a filling fell out some time ago. Luckily, I didn’t specify when my term would start, although I’ve certainly had tomorrow in[Pg 23] mind all along. If my toothache gets worse, I can wait another day to get it fixed. Maybe it’s best to wait another day after all. On the other hand, I think the toothache is just plain cowardice.

As we sit down to dinner, I attempt to be jocular with my youngest. “Well, Golfer,” I remark; “this is my last good meal. To-morrow your father goes to prison for a week!”

As we sit down for dinner, I try to be funny with my youngest. "Well, Golfer," I say, "this is my last nice meal. Tomorrow your dad goes to jail for a week!"

“Hm!” responds the interesting youth, “it’ll do you good.”

“Hmm!” replies the interesting young man, “it'll be good for you.”

I recover myself with some difficulty. “Now what in thunder do you mean by that?”

I pull myself together with some effort. “What on earth do you mean by that?”

“Oh, you won’t be so fat when you come out.”

“Oh, you won't be so overweight when you come out.”

I’m inclined to think he’s right, but it is evident that I need expect no sentimental sympathy from my own family.

I tend to think he's right, but it's clear that I shouldn't expect any sentimental support from my own family.

Here I close my journal for to-night. I feel decidedly solemn. I wonder how I shall be feeling at this time to-morrow night.

Here I close my journal for tonight. I feel quite serious. I wonder how I’ll be feeling at this time tomorrow night.

“To-morrow! Why, to-morrow I may be
Myself with yesterday’s sev’n thousand years.”

“Tomorrow! Well, tomorrow I could be
Myself with yesterday’s seven thousand years.”

 

 


CHAPTER III

MONDAY MORNING

Cell 15, second tier, north, north wing, Auburn Prison. September 29. It is noon hour; somewhere about 12:45 I should think.

Cell 15, second tier, north, north wing, Auburn Prison. September 29. It's around noon; I’d guess it’s about 12:45.

I am a prisoner, locked, double locked. By no human possibility, by no act of my own, can I throw open the iron grating which shuts me from the world into this small stone vault. I am a voluntary prisoner, it is true; nevertheless even a voluntary prisoner can’t unlock the door of his cell—that must be done by someone from outside. I am perfectly conscious of a horrible feeling of constraint—of confinement. It recalls an agonized moment of my childhood when I accidentally locked myself into a closet.

I’m a prisoner, locked up and double locked. There’s no way I can open the iron grate that separates me from the world and traps me in this small stone room. It’s true that I’m a voluntary prisoner; still, even a voluntary prisoner can’t unlock their cell door—that has to be done by someone from the outside. I’m very aware of a terrible feeling of being trapped—of being confined. It brings back a painful memory from my childhood when I accidentally locked myself in a closet.

My cell is exactly four feet wide by seven and a half feet long, measuring by my own feet, and about seven and a half feet high.[2] The iron bed is hooked to the wall and folds up against it; the mattress and blankets hang over it. The entire furniture consists of one stool, a shelf or table which drops down against the wall when not held up by hooks, an iron basin filled with water for[Pg 25] washing purposes, a covered iron bucket for other purposes, a tin cup for drinking water which was filled shortly before noon by the convict orderly, and an old broom which stands in the corner. A small wooden locker with three shelves is fastened up in the farther left-hand corner. The pillow hangs in the opposite right-hand corner over the edge of the bed.

My cell is exactly four feet wide by seven and a half feet long, measured by my own feet, and about seven and a half feet high.[2] The iron bed is attached to the wall and folds up against it; the mattress and blankets hang over it. The entire furniture consists of one stool, a shelf or table that drops down against the wall when it's not held up by hooks, an iron basin filled with water for[Pg 25] washing, a covered iron bucket for other uses, a tin cup for drinking water that was filled just before noon by the convict orderly, and an old broom standing in the corner. A small wooden locker with three shelves is secured in the far left corner. The pillow hangs over the edge of the bed in the opposite right corner.

This is a cell in one of the oldest parts of the prison. It has a concrete floor and plastered walls and ceiling, and looks clean. From my grated door, being on the second tier, I can see diagonally out of four heavily barred windows in the outer wall, looking across about ten feet, over the open space which drops to the stone corridor below, and rises to the highest galleries. Through the two lower windows I catch glimpses of the ground, through the two upper, of leaves and branches and the sky. The daylight in the cell is enough at the present moment to read and write by, but none too good. Outside it is a very bright, sunny day. If it were a dark day I could not see much without a light. The electric bulb hangs from a hook in the center of the rounded ceiling and my head nearly touches it.

This is a cell in one of the oldest parts of the prison. It has a concrete floor and plastered walls and ceiling, and it looks clean. From my barred door, being on the second tier, I can see diagonally out of four heavily barred windows in the outer wall, looking across about ten feet, over the open space that drops to the stone corridor below and rises to the highest galleries. Through the two lower windows, I catch glimpses of the ground; through the two upper ones, I see leaves, branches, and the sky. The daylight in the cell is enough right now to read and write by, but it's not great. Outside, it's a very bright, sunny day. If it were dark, I couldn't see much without a light. The electric bulb hangs from a hook in the center of the rounded ceiling, and my head nearly touches it.

So much for my present surroundings; now let me begin the story of the day.

So much for my current situation; now let me start the story of the day.

 

Upon arising this morning at home, the toothache, although I could still feel it grumbling, had so modified that I became convinced that it was largely imagination. As it has since disappeared it must have been [Pg 26]entirely imagination. There seems to be no excuse whatever for not going ahead.

When I got up this morning at home, the toothache, even though I could still feel a bit of discomfort, had changed enough that I became sure it was mostly in my head. Since it has now completely gone away, it must have been [Pg 26] purely imaginary. It seems there’s no reason at all not to move forward.

Having noticed yesterday that, although the prisoners are allowed to wear their hair as they please, their faces are all smooth shaven, I begin the day by the sacrifice of my mustache. I shave, dress, and eat as much breakfast as I can—which is not very much.

Having noticed yesterday that, even though the prisoners can wear their hair however they want, their faces are all clean-shaven, I start the day by shaving off my mustache. I shave, get dressed, and eat as much breakfast as I can—which isn't very much.

At nine o’clock I am at the railway station to say good-bye to the Warden, who has been called to Albany on business. After the train leaves at 9:30 I go to my office, where there are some last matters to attend to, bid farewell to the few friends who are about, and at ten o’clock present myself at the prison entrance.

At nine o’clock, I’m at the train station to say goodbye to the Warden, who has been called to Albany for work. After the train leaves at 9:30, I head to my office to take care of a few final things, say goodbye to the few friends who are there, and by ten o’clock, I’m at the prison entrance.

The polite guard at the gate unlocks it, I enter, and the first barrier between me and the world shuts behind me. I mount the steps to the main building, and turn into the Warden’s office. I am dressed in old clothes, appropriate for the occasion, and have no valuables or money about my person.

The polite guard at the gate unlocks it, I enter, and the first barrier between me and the world closes behind me. I walk up the steps to the main building and head into the Warden’s office. I'm dressed in old clothes, suitable for the occasion, and I don’t have any valuables or money on me.

In the Warden’s office a few last details are arranged with Grant, the Prison Superintendent of Industries, who is acting for the Warden; and my name and certain details of my family history and career of crime are taken down by the Warden’s clerk on a slip of paper, which is handed over to a good-looking, well-groomed young officer, to whom I am given in charge.

In the Warden's office, a few final details are sorted out with Grant, the Prison Superintendent of Industries, who is filling in for the Warden. My name and some details about my family history and criminal record are written down by the Warden’s clerk on a piece of paper, which is passed to a good-looking, well-groomed young officer, who takes me into custody.

[Pg 27]On Saturday, when writing out yesterday’s address, it occurred to me that it might be useful to take an alias. Such a notion doubtless seems a trifle foolish at first thought; considering that there is no secret of my identity, but I reasoned that if officers and prisoners always had my own name in mind or on tongue every time they looked at or addressed me, it would really make it more difficult to be accepted on the basis of an ordinary inmate. I decided, therefore, to take a name which would have no association whatever with the chairman of the Prison Reform Commission, yet would be somewhat in character. So on the records I am entered as Thomas Brown, No. 33,333x.

[Pg 27]On Saturday, while I was writing out yesterday’s address, I realized it might be helpful to use an alias. This idea probably seems a bit silly at first; after all, there’s no mystery about my identity. However, I thought that if officers and inmates constantly had my actual name in their minds or on their lips every time they looked at or spoke to me, it would be harder for me to be seen as just another regular inmate. So, I decided to choose a name that had no connection to the chairman of the Prison Reform Commission, but still seemed fitting. Therefore, on the records, I'm listed as Thomas Brown, No. 33,333x.

The young officer in his neat blue uniform, carrying his loaded stick, says briefly, “Step this way, Brown.” I am hazily aware of being a momentary object of interest to the men in the back office; a heavy iron door is unlocked at the head of a flight of iron stairs; and as the door clangs behind me and I hear the key turn in the lock, I begin to realize that I am a prisoner. I have made a bargain with myself to stay here a week, and I cannot leave sooner without serious loss of self-respect.

The young officer in his crisp blue uniform, holding his baton, says briefly, “Come this way, Brown.” I'm vaguely aware that I’m a temporary point of curiosity for the guys in the back office; a heavy iron door is unlocked at the top of a metal staircase; and as the door slams shut behind me and I hear the key turn in the lock, I start to realize that I’m a prisoner. I’ve promised myself I’ll stay here for a week, and I can’t leave any sooner without seriously damaging my self-respect.

The taciturn young officer takes me downstairs and across the yard. I am conscious of many pairs of eyes looking out from windows and doors,[Pg 28] and the few prisoners scattered about the yard singly or in groups stare with interest. My guide accompanies me to one of the buildings about halfway down on the left, which proves to be the tailor shop. Here in a corner of the shop, without any screens and in full view of all passers in and out, are three porcelain-lined iron bathtubs side by side, looking very white and clean. I am directed to take off my clothes, which I do, and then ordered to get into one of the tubs, in which a negro prisoner has drawn a warm bath. I obey and make use of the soap, and later of the towel which the attendant hands me. After I am dry I am given my prison clothes—a suit of underwear, a pair of socks, a cotton shirt with narrow blue and white stripes, and a suit of rough gray cloth. There is also a pair of very thick and heavy shoes. All the clothes are new. My coat fastens down the front with five light metal buttons, on which are the words State Prison in raised letters. The seven smaller buttons of the waistcoat are similar. My uniform is not exactly a first-class fit, but good enough for the purpose. A cap, rough gray to match the suit, together with a stiff new gray towel and a cake of white soap, completes my outfit. I am ordered to remove my wedding ring, but the officer explains that I am to be allowed to retain it. This is the first exception made in my case.

The quiet young officer takes me downstairs and across the yard. I notice many pairs of eyes watching from windows and doors,[Pg 28] and the few prisoners scattered around the yard, either alone or in small groups, look at me with interest. My guide leads me to one of the buildings about halfway down on the left, which turns out to be the tailor shop. In a corner of the shop, with no screens and totally visible to everyone coming in and out, are three white porcelain-lined iron bathtubs lined up side by side, looking very clean. I’m told to take off my clothes, which I do, and then I’m instructed to get into one of the tubs, where a black prisoner has drawn a warm bath. I follow instructions and use the soap, and later the towel the attendant gives me. After I’m dry, I’m handed my prison clothes—a set of underwear, a pair of socks, a cotton shirt with narrow blue and white stripes, and a suit made of rough gray fabric. There’s also a pair of very thick and heavy shoes. All the clothes are brand new. My coat buttons down the front with five light metal buttons that say State Prison in raised letters. The seven smaller buttons on the waistcoat are similar. My uniform doesn’t fit perfectly, but it’s good enough for what I need. A rough gray cap to match the suit, along with a stiff new gray towel and a bar of white soap, completes my outfit. I’m told to take off my wedding ring, but the officer explains that I can keep it. This is the first exception made for me.

The rest of my belongings are bundled up and disappear from sight. All that is left of my[Pg 29] former self is what can’t very well be eradicated. So far as is humanly possible, I am precisely like the other 1,329 gray figures which to-day inhabit this abnormal world within the walls.

The rest of my stuff is packed away and out of sight. All that's left of my[Pg 29] old self is what can't really be erased. As much as possible, I'm exactly like the other 1,329 gray figures that inhabit this strange world within the walls today.

We return to the administration building and I am taken to the office of the Principal Keeper, where are propounded to me a series of questions, the answers to which are duly entered on the records: name, age, occupation, married or single, Protestant or Catholic, parents living or dead, any children, character of my crime, is this my first term, have I ever gone under any other name, temperate or intemperate, and so forth and so on. Some of these questions have already been answered at the front office, and the officer holds the paper in his hand; but I answer them again, suppressing such facts as I do not wish to have a matter of record.[3]

We go back to the administration building, and I’m taken to the office of the Principal Keeper, where I'm asked a series of questions. My answers are recorded: name, age, job, married or single, Protestant or Catholic, parents living or dead, any kids, the nature of my crime, is this my first term, have I ever gone by another name, temperate or not, and so on. Some of these questions were already answered at the front office, and the officer has the paper in hand; but I answer them again, leaving out any details I don’t want on record.[3]

After my history has been duly taken, I am handed a copy of the rules of the prison; and the Principal Keeper facing me across a small desk makes a neat little speech, giving friendly advice as to my conduct while in the institution. It is[Pg 30] excellent advice, as far as it goes, and for it I thank him respectfully.

After my history has been properly recorded, I receive a copy of the prison rules. The Principal Keeper sits across a small desk from me and gives a brief, friendly speech, offering advice on how to behave during my time here. It is[Pg 30] solid advice, and I thank him politely for it.

Then clearing his throat he says slowly and ponderously, “Brown, after you have had your medical examination, you will be put to work in the basket-shop, under Captain Lamb. He will give you full instructions concerning your place in his company and your work.”

Then, clearing his throat, he says slowly and thoughtfully, “Brown, after you finish your medical exam, you’ll be assigned to work in the basket shop, under Captain Lamb. He’ll provide you with complete instructions about your role in his team and your tasks.”

It is on the tip of my tongue to say, “But it was all arranged with the Warden that I should be put first with the Idle Company.” Fortunately, however, I catch myself just in time. It is not for a convict to offer objections or to argue with the P. K. So I utter another brief but respectful, “Thank you, sir,” and feel a certain relief at the postponement of my acquaintance with the “toughest bunch of fellows in the Prison.” The Warden returns to-morrow, and an exchange can then be made if it is thought advisable; in the meantime it is my business to do exactly what I am told.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say, “But I arranged this with the Warden so I could be first with the Idle Company.” Luckily, I catch myself just in time. It’s not for a convict to object or argue with the P. K. So I say another short but respectful, “Thank you, sir,” and feel relieved that my meeting with the “toughest group of guys in the Prison” is postponed. The Warden is coming back tomorrow, and a switch can be made if needed; for now, my job is to do exactly what I’m told.

From the Principal Keeper’s office I am taken next door to the Chaplain. Here my reception is in marked contrast to the previous official frigidities. I fear that this is partially due to the Chaplain’s failure quite to realize that it is only Thomas Brown, a stranger and a new arrival, whom he takes so warmly by the hand. My evident embarrassment evidently embarrasses him, for I am beginning to enter so much into the[Pg 31] spirit of the place that I almost feel as if I had been detected in an attempt to conceal my identity. The Chaplain turns me over to a convict stenographer who plies me with another series of questions, and I give my statistics for a third time. I can only hope that my answers to these various sets of questions are fairly uniform, or else that they will not be compared too closely.

From the Principal Keeper’s office, I’m taken next door to see the Chaplain. Here, my welcome is a stark contrast to the previous official coldness. I worry that this warmth is partly because the Chaplain doesn’t quite realize that it’s just Thomas Brown, a stranger and newcomer, that he’s greeting so warmly. My obvious awkwardness clearly makes him uncomfortable, as I’m starting to get so into the vibe of the place that I almost feel like I’m being caught trying to hide my true self. The Chaplain hands me off to a convict stenographer who hits me with another round of questions, and I end up sharing my information for the third time. I can only hope that my responses to these different questions are somewhat consistent, or that they won’t be compared too closely.

The Chaplain and his assistant (a very nice-looking prisoner named Dickinson, whose acquaintance I made yesterday) inquire as to what books I should like to read, and I am shown a typewritten list from which to choose. I am hardly in a mental state to do so, but manage to make a selection. Unfortunately nothing I want seems available; but Dickinson promises to get one of the books later, and in the meantime I am presented with a Bible. Then I am taken upstairs and left with the Doctor.

The Chaplain and his assistant (a good-looking prisoner named Dickinson, who I met yesterday) ask which books I’d like to read, and I’m shown a typed list to choose from. I’m not really in the right mind to pick, but I manage to choose some. Unfortunately, none of the books I want are available; however, Dickinson promises to get one of them later, and in the meantime, I’m given a Bible. After that, I’m taken upstairs and left with the Doctor.

The Doctor puts me through another series of questions, the fourth; many of them duplicates of the others. Then he starts on a careful physical examination which he does not finish as it is getting too near dinner time. The officer returns for me, and laden with my complete prison baggage—one towel, a cake of soap and a Bible—I am conducted to the north wing, up a short flight of iron stairs and along a narrow wooden gallery with an iron bar for a rail, to my cell on the second tier, Number 15. It has already been described. I[Pg 32] remain here while the officer goes to get the small handbag left at the Warden’s office, containing a few things which I am to be allowed to have in my cell—writing paper, toothbrush, towels, sponges, toilet paper, and a razor. Most of the men are shaved twice a week by convict barbers in the different shops, and not even the barbers are allowed razors in their cells. As a new man I ought not to be allowed any of these luxuries, but this is exception number two.

The Doctor asks me another set of questions, the fourth one; a lot of them are just repeats. Then he begins a careful physical examination but doesn't finish since it's getting close to dinner time. The officer comes back for me, and with my complete prison belongings—one towel, a bar of soap, and a Bible—I’m taken to the north wing, up a short flight of iron stairs and along a narrow wooden walkway with an iron bar for a railing, to my cell on the second tier, Number 15. It has already been described. I[Pg 32] stay here while the officer goes to pick up the small bag left at the Warden’s office, which has a few things I'm allowed to have in my cell—writing paper, a toothbrush, towels, sponges, toilet paper, and a razor. Most of the guys get shaved twice a week by convict barbers in the different shops, and even the barbers aren't allowed razors in their cells. As a newcomer, I shouldn't be allowed any of these luxuries, but this is exception number two.

The officer first returns with the wrong bag, but soon after with the right one, and I am then locked in until dinner time. Soon my keeper turns up, Captain Lamb, the head of the basket-shop. He introduces himself and then gives me instructions as to my immediate conduct; explains the marching signals, the seating at meals, et cetera. In obedience to his instructions, I take off my cap and coat to leave them in the cell; and when he soon passes along the gallery outside, unlocking the cells by pressing down the levers, I push open the grated door and follow close behind him. At the foot of the iron stairs he allots me a place toward the end of the line; and at the word of command we first shuffle and then march in double file along the stone corridors, and in single file into the mess-hall. As we enter, the Principal Keeper stands at the door. I had been warned to place my right hand on my left breast, by way of salute; but the prisoner behind me, fearing I have [Pg 33]forgotten, gives me a friendly poke, and I assume the proper attitude of respect. Our line swings around to the right and marches past row after row of men in gray, all facing in the same direction and bending silently over their food.

The officer first comes back with the wrong bag, but soon returns with the right one, and then I'm locked in until dinner time. Soon, my guard, Captain Lamb, the head of the basket shop, arrives. He introduces himself and gives me instructions on how to behave right now; explains the marching signals, how to sit during meals, etc. Following his instructions, I take off my cap and coat to leave them in the cell; and when he soon walks past the gallery outside, unlocking the cells by pressing down the levers, I push open the grated door and follow closely behind him. At the bottom of the iron stairs, he assigns me a place toward the end of the line; and at the command, we first shuffle and then march in double file along the stone corridors, and in single file into the mess hall. As we enter, the Principal Keeper stands at the door. I’ve been told to place my right hand on my left chest as a salute, but the prisoner behind me, worried I’ve [Pg 33] forgotten, gives me a friendly nudge, and I assume the proper respectful stance. Our line turns to the right and marches past row after row of men in gray, all facing the same direction and quietly leaning over their food.

Well beyond the center of the room I have a place at the end of a long wooden shelf which forms the table. At a sharp rap of the Keeper’s iron-shod stick on the floor, we pull out our stools, and stand again erect; a second rap, we seat ourselves and immediately fall to, as our dinner has been waiting for us. I am pleased and rather surprised to find it, if not hot, at least sufficiently warm. Our bill of fare includes a cup of something presumably meant for coffee; a bowl of a thick liquid (I could not decide whether it was soup or gravy, so I waited to see what the others did with it; some used it for one, some for the other; but it turned out to be very palatable bean soup); a slice or two of very good ham; excellent boiled potatoes; two or three pickles I did not try; and two large thick slices of bread. It was not a bad meal, and had I been hungry I should have done more justice to it.

Well beyond the center of the room, I have a spot at the end of a long wooden shelf that serves as the table. At a sharp knock from the Keeper’s iron-tipped stick on the floor, we pull out our stools and stand up straight again; after another knock, we sit down and immediately dig in, as our dinner has been waiting for us. I’m pleased and a bit surprised to find it, if not hot, at least warm enough. Our meal includes a cup of something presumably meant to be coffee, a bowl of a thick liquid (I couldn’t tell if it was soup or gravy, so I waited to see what the others did with it; some used it for one, some for the other; but it turned out to be a very tasty bean soup); a slice or two of very good ham; excellent boiled potatoes; two or three pickles I didn’t try; and two large thick slices of bread. It wasn’t a bad meal, and if I had been hungry, I would have appreciated it more.

One of the rules the Captain mentioned is that no bread must be left on the table; so, noticing what the other men do, I watch for the passing of the waiter with a large pail of bread, from which he gives an extra slice to those who want it, and[Pg 34] shy my second slice into his pail as he goes by. Of course no conversation is allowed at meals; and anything less appetizing than the rows of gray shoulders and backs of heads in front of one I cannot imagine. The watching keepers, standing sternly and silently by, certainly do not add to the hilarity of the occasion. I am reminded of what my convict friend once said to me, “You know we don’t really eat here; we just stoke up.”

One of the rules the Captain mentioned is that no bread should be left on the table; so, noticing what the other guys do, I keep an eye out for the waiter with a big pail of bread, from which he gives an extra slice to anyone who wants it, and[Pg 34] slip my second slice into his pail as he walks by. Of course, no talking is allowed during meals; and I can't imagine anything less appealing than the rows of gray shoulders and backs of heads in front of me. The watching keepers, standing there sternly and silently, definitely don't add to the fun of the situation. It reminds me of what my convict friend once told me, “You know we don’t really eat here; we just stoke up.”

During the beginning of our meal other companies are continually arriving and taking their places in front of us; and during the latter part others are departing from behind us, accompanied by a curious noise which sounds like the rattling of castanets. I soon make out that it is the disposal of the spoons, forks, and knives. I have been cautioned by the Captain that upon leaving the table the three implements must be held in full view; in my left hand if I march on that side, otherwise in my right. These implements are jealously watched so that a prisoner shall not carry them to his cell and turn them into means of attack, escape, or self-destruction.

At the beginning of our meal, other groups keep arriving and seating themselves in front of us, and later on, others are leaving from behind us, making a strange noise that sounds like rattling castanets. I quickly realize that it's the sound of utensils being collected. The Captain has warned me that when leaving the table, the three utensils must be held in plain sight; in my left hand if I’m walking on that side, or in my right hand otherwise. These utensils are closely monitored to ensure that a prisoner doesn’t take them to their cell and use them for attacks, escape, or self-harm.

At the end of the meal the officer’s stick again strikes the stone pavement sharply; we rise, shove our stools back under the table shelf, then fall in line behind another departing company, each man holding aloft his knife, fork, and spoon which he drops into the proper receptacles near the door where a watchful officer keeps careful tally. We[Pg 35] march back along the stone corridors, break ranks at the foot of the iron stairs, traverse the narrow gallery, and are soon in our cells where we are locked in; and I begin to write this journal.

At the end of the meal, the officer’s stick hits the stone pavement sharply again; we stand up, push our stools back under the table, and then line up behind another departing group, each person holding up his knife, fork, and spoon, which he drops into the designated containers by the door where a watchful officer keeps a careful count. We[Pg 35] march back through the stone corridors, break ranks at the base of the iron stairs, cross the narrow gallery, and soon find ourselves in our cells where we are locked in; and I start writing this journal.

It is curious what a resentful feeling overtakes one as that iron grated door swings to and is double locked. I can perfectly imagine a high-strung man battering himself against it from sheer nervousness.

It’s interesting how a wave of resentment hits you as that iron grated door swings shut and locks double. I can easily picture a tense person banging against it out of pure anxiety.

Captain Lamb has just been to the door of my cell again. He begins with a reprimand. “Brown, I noticed you turning around at dinner; that is not allowed. I will let it pass this time, but don’t let it happen again. The rule is always, ‘Eyes front.’”

Captain Lamb just came to my cell door again. He starts with a warning. “Brown, I saw you turning around at dinner; that's not allowed. I’ll let it slide this time, but don’t let it happen again. The rule is always, 'Eyes front.'”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Thanks, sir.”

The Captain then gives instructions regarding my next moves. It seems that I am soon to put on coat and cap and march to the shop, taking my bucket if I desire to empty it. The Captain explains that he will first pass along the gallery, unlocking the levers; then almost immediately return, pushing them down, and that when he pushes down my lever I must be ready to press heavily against the door so as to get it open quickly; then follow after the others, and take my place in line. He also gives instructions as to my conduct in the shop. “I call all my men by their first names, so I shall call you Thomas. I allow my company to[Pg 36] have some talk in the shop. It is not strictly according to rule; but my men have the reputation of being a little hard to manage, and I find they get along better if I give them some leeway. So you may converse about your work; but you must be careful not to talk loud or create any disorder, and you must shut up at once in case another officer or a visitor comes into the shop. Also you must not leave your place of work without permission.”

The Captain then gives me instructions about what to do next. It looks like I’ll soon be putting on my coat and cap and heading to the shop, taking my bucket if I want to empty it. The Captain explains that he will first walk along the gallery, unlocking the levers; then he will almost immediately come back, pushing them down. When he pushes down my lever, I need to be ready to push the door open quickly and then follow the others to take my place in line. He also shares how I should behave in the shop. “I call all my men by their first names, so I’ll be calling you Thomas. I allow my team to[Pg 36] have some conversations in the shop. It’s not strictly by the book, but my guys have a reputation for being a bit hard to manage, and I find they work better if I give them some freedom. So you can talk about your work, but you need to be careful not to be loud or cause any disruption, and you have to stop talking immediately if another officer or a visitor comes into the shop. Also, you can’t leave your work area without permission.”

I again thank the Captain, and say that I will try to mind my own business and not make any more trouble than I can help. He smiles rather a grim smile, and replies dryly that he doesn’t think there will be any trouble, and goes away. My time for writing must be nearly up for the present.

I thank the Captain again and say that I'll do my best to mind my own business and not cause any more trouble than necessary. He gives a somewhat grim smile and dryly responds that he doesn't think there will be any trouble, and then he leaves. I must be running out of time for writing for now.

Yes! I hear a clicking, beginning at the far-distant end of the gallery around the corner to my left. It draws rapidly nearer and I can hear the key turning in the locks. I have put on my coat and cap. The Captain unlocks my lever and passes along the gallery to the right. He will soon be back, so this writing must be put away in the locker; then I can stand ready and waiting at the door. It would be as well not to expose myself to another reprimand.

Yes! I hear a clicking noise coming from the far end of the gallery around the corner to my left. It's getting closer, and I can hear the key turning in the locks. I've put on my coat and cap. The Captain unlocks my lever and walks down the gallery to the right. He'll be back soon, so I need to put this writing away in the locker; then I can be ready and waiting at the door. It’s best not to put myself in a position to get scolded again.


There is of course another side to the foregoing story, and that is the advent of Thomas Brown as viewed, not[Pg 37] by himself, but by his new companions—the regular inmates of the prison. What did the convicts think of it all?

There is, of course, another side to the story mentioned above, and that is the arrival of Thomas Brown as seen, not[Pg 37] by himself, but through the eyes of his new companions—the regular residents of the prison. What did the inmates think of it all?

As it happens, two of them were moved to record their impressions, and their accounts have come to my hands in a roundabout way. I can not do better than supplement my own story by extracts from these papers. I do not know the writers, I do not even know their names, and the stories were written entirely without hint or solicitation from me. It is natural that I should think them interesting; I hope that others may find them so.

As it turns out, two of them felt compelled to share their thoughts, and I ended up receiving their accounts through various channels. I can't think of a better way to enhance my own narrative than by including excerpts from these writings. I don't know the authors, I don't even know their names, and these stories were created completely without any prompt or encouragement from me. It's only natural for me to find them interesting; I hope others will too.

Here is A’s account:

Here is A's statement:

On Monday, a little after 10 A. M., a man passed through the front gate, and without any ceremony was registered on the book of entries as Tom Brown and recorded as No. 33,333x. After a brief examination he was conducted to the tailor-shop where the cutaway was changed for a suit of prison gray.

On Monday, just after 10 A.M., a man walked through the front gate and, without any formalities, was signed into the entry book as Tom Brown and listed as No. 33,333x. After a quick check, he was taken to the tailor shop where his cutaway was swapped for a gray prison suit.

The funds of Mr. Brown being at low ebb, the state graciously presented him with a towel, a pair of working shoes, and a red bandanna handkerchief.[4]

Mr. Brown's finances were running low, so the state kindly gave him a towel, a pair of work boots, and a red bandana.[4]

With these meager possessions Tom again emerged into the large yard; and the old adage, “What a difference just a few clothes make,” became very evident, for in every appearance he looked just like the brotherhood he was about to join.

With his few belongings, Tom stepped back into the big yard, and the saying, “What a difference just a few clothes make,” became really clear, because in every way, he looked just like the group he was about to join.

When a new man enters, a general whisper is always[Pg 38] heard throughout the various shops. “Well, here’s a new boarder!” This was applied to him as he passed through the yard accompanied by Captain D.

When a new guy walks in, a general buzz always[Pg 38] goes through the different shops. “Well, here’s a new boarder!” This was said about him as he walked through the yard with Captain D.

We all knew who Tom was, but on the Sunday previous when he outlined his intentions a silent compact had been made—to consider him as an ordinary inmate; and the promise was fulfilled to the letter. What our thoughts were—is an entirely different story.

We all knew who Tom was, but on the Sunday before when he shared his plans, an unspoken agreement was reached—to treat him like a regular resident; and that promise was kept exactly. What we were thinking—well, that’s a whole different story.

B’s account is somewhat more racy and intimate, and contains some very characteristic touches:

B’s story is a bit more colorful and personal, and includes some very distinctive details:

A few comments in the cell house on the day of Tom Brown’s arrival at Auburn Prison to start his self-imposed bit.

A few comments in the cell house on the day Tom Brown arrived at Auburn Prison to begin his self-imposed sentence.

“Hello, Bill! There he goes. And say, he just walks with the confidence of an old timer! Well, old pals, you will have to take your hats off to him as a game one, all right!”

“Hey, Bill! There he goes. And you know what, he walks with the confidence of a pro! Well, old friends, you’ll have to tip your hats to him as a true player, for sure!”

By this time all the keepers in the cell house looking through the windows. But not with that same old smile they usually carry. Someone sung in a low tone that old time melody,

By this time, all the keepers in the cell house were looking through the windows. But not with that same old smile they usually had. Someone was singing that old melody in a low tone,

“O what has changed them?”

“Oh, what has changed them?”

and the gang had to take to cover; a look from some of the sore keepers made it plain we better move.

and the gang had to find cover; a look from some of the angry guards made it clear we should get moving.

While he was down getting dolled up in his new suit of gray, someone asked where the P. K. was; and Jack replied, “Why, he just passed me over in the alley; and say, fellows, he has got so thin I didn’t know him; I guess you’ll find him over in the jail office hiding behind a broom.”

While he was downstairs getting dressed in his new gray suit, someone asked where the P.K. was; and Jack replied, “Well, he just walked by me in the alley; and guys, he’s gotten so thin I didn’t even recognize him; I bet you’ll find him over at the jail office hiding behind a broom.”

[Pg 39]Someone gave us the wire that Tom was coming up the yard again, and we made a bee line for a rubber. Sure enough there is Tom, coming up the line in his new college makeup and a prison towel in his hand. All the boys stood quiet and watched. In fact nine out of ten had a lump in his throat too big to swallow. I must confess I got a cold chill that ran down my back, and it jumped from limb to limb like a cobblestone. Well, after we all came to, “our brave Tom” was locked in his cell, 15-2-N.N.W.; and then the stoolpigeons was put to work to watch who went to speak with him.

[Pg 39]Someone told us that Tom was coming up the yard again, so we made a straight line for a rubber. Sure enough, there was Tom, walking up the line in his new college outfit and holding a prison towel. All the boys stood quietly and watched. In fact, nine out of ten had a lump in their throat that was too big to swallow. I must admit I felt a cold chill run down my back, jumping from limb to limb like a cobblestone. Well, after we all gathered ourselves, "our brave Tom" was locked in his cell, 15-2-N.N.W.; and then the snitches were put to work watching who went to talk to him.

These extracts, which are given verbatim, throw interesting sidelights upon the attitude and state of mind of the prisoners—their extreme sensitiveness, their instant response to kindness, real or fancied, their relations to their keepers, their ready cheerfulness and sense of humor. As one can see, there was arising among them at the very outset something quite unexpected—a deep sense of gratitude for what they persisted in thinking a great sacrifice on my part; an eager answer to the sympathy from the outer world which my coming among them typified. The lump in the throat at the first sight of Tom Brown clad as a convict is significant of many things. The fact that they all greatly exaggerated my personal discomfort and in so many ways gave me credit where none was due, is only an evidence of their hunger for the human relationship, for that sympathy from our fellowmen which we all crave so intensely, and from which convicts are very far from exempt. There is no need to comment further upon these interesting extracts.

These quotes, provided exactly as they are, shed light on the attitudes and mindsets of the prisoners—their heightened sensitivity, their quick reactions to kindness, whether genuine or imagined, their interactions with their guards, and their cheerful disposition and sense of humor. It's clear that right from the start, something unexpected was developing among them—a deep sense of gratitude for what they believed was a significant sacrifice on my part; a heartfelt response to the sympathy from the outside world that my presence among them represented. The emotional lump at the first sight of Tom Brown dressed as a convict says a lot. The way they all exaggerated my discomfort and credited me for things I didn't deserve shows their intense need for human connection and that sympathy from others which we all yearn for deeply, and convicts are certainly not excluded from that need. There's no need to elaborate further on these fascinating excerpts.

It is a real pity that we can not have as well the[Pg 40] views of the third party in the affair—the keepers. Frank comment from them would be also most valuable. I only hope that the one who, on a certain occasion, invited and came very near receiving, personal violence by ejaculating, “Damn fool!” behind my back, represented an exception. Unquestionably, however, he did voice a considerable amount of official sentiment within the prison, as well as much unofficial sentiment outside. That was so natural as to be inevitable. There are always those who will misunderstand one’s motives and actions, no matter how plain the explanation may be.

It’s really unfortunate that we can’t also get the [Pg 40] perspectives of the third party involved in this situation—the keepers. Their honest opinions would be incredibly valuable. I just hope that the person who, at one point, nearly threw a punch at me while shouting, “Damn fool!” behind my back was an exception. Without a doubt, though, he expressed a lot of the official views within the prison, as well as plenty of the unofficial opinions outside of it. That was totally understandable and expected. There will always be those who misinterpret your motives and actions, regardless of how clear your explanation might be.

 

 


CHAPTER IV

MONDAY AFTERNOON

Later in the day; about 5:30, I think; I have no watch and nowhere does there seem to be a clock in sight, so I am necessarily rather vague as to the exact time.

Later in the day, around 5:30, I think; I don't have a watch, and there doesn't seem to be a clock anywhere, so I'm a bit unclear about the exact time.

I am again double locked in my cell, this time for the night—fourteen mortal hours.

I’m locked up in my cell again, this time for the night—fourteen long hours.

For me there is plenty to do—to write, to read, to think about; but how about those who do not care for reading, who write with difficulty, or who can neither read nor write? Then again, I look forward to only six nights in this stone vault; but how about those who must look forward to an endless series of nights, month after month, year after year, five, ten, fifteen, twenty years, life?

For me, there’s a lot to do—writing, reading, thinking; but what about those who don’t care for reading, who struggle to write, or who can’t read or write at all? I’m only looking at six nights in this stone vault; but what about those who have to face an endless string of nights, month after month, year after year—five, ten, fifteen, twenty years, a lifetime?

My God! How do they ever stand it?

My God! How do they even put up with it?

Until nine o’clock, when the lights will go out, I am my own master; my own master in a world of four feet by seven and a half, in which I am the only inhabitant. Other human beings are living all about—on either side, at the back, above, below; yet separated by double thick stone walls from every other living creature in this great community, I am absolutely solitary. I have never felt so curiously, desperately lonely. The loneliness in the midst of crowds is proverbial; but the loneliness in[Pg 42] the midst of a crowd of invisible human beings—not one of whom do you even hear—that has in it an element of heavily weighted horror which is quite indescribable. It can only be felt.

Until nine o’clock, when the lights go out, I am my own master; my own master in a world four feet by seven and a half, where I’m the only resident. Other people are living all around—on either side, in the back, above, below; yet separated by double thick stone walls from every other living creature in this huge community, I am completely alone. I have never felt so strangely, desperately lonely. The loneliness among crowds is well-known; but the loneliness in[Pg 42] the midst of a crowd of invisible people—not one of whom you can even hear—that has a depth of heavy dread that’s completely indescribable. It can only be experienced.

The curious sensation of nervous resentment, noticed this noon, is upon me in greater force to-night. If I were to just let myself go, I believe I should soon be beating my fists on the iron grated door of my cage and yelling. Of course I shall do nothing so foolish, but I feel the impulse distinctly. I wonder how I shall stand a week of this. I must certainly keep my nerves under better control, at present they are quivering at the slightest sound.

The strange feeling of nervous resentment I felt earlier today is even stronger tonight. If I really let myself go, I think I’d be pounding my fists on the iron barred door of my cage and screaming. Of course, I won’t do anything so reckless, but I can feel the urge clearly. I wonder how I’ll handle a week of this. I definitely need to keep my nerves more under control; right now, they’re jumping at the slightest noise.

 

This has certainly been one of the most interesting days of my life, and the afternoon more interesting than the morning. I wish I could describe it adequately.

This has definitely been one of the most fascinating days of my life, and the afternoon was even more exciting than the morning. I wish I could express it better.

The interval between dinner and the march to the shop is occupied chiefly by writing this journal; but I also have a pleasant call from the Chaplain’s assistant, Dickinson. He does not bring me the book I selected this morning, but in its place another book and some magazines, for none of which do I care. What I do care about is the pleasant chat we have. Not many words have been exchanged before he drops the books he is engaged in distributing along the cells and dashes off; soon returning with photographs of his wife[Pg 43] and three charming children. He himself is a clean-cut, fine-looking fellow, with honest blue eyes and a good face—not a single trace of the “Criminal” about him. He tells me some of the details of his story, and it is a sad one. But his imprisonment is now over; he expects to go out on Saturday. Some time ago he was granted his parole on condition of obtaining a job, and that he has now secured. He says this prison experience has been a “good lesson” to him. I have no doubt it has, nor that his hopes will be fulfilled; but the pity of it! Why should not a man like this, guilty of only a lesser crime, guiltless of criminal intent, be allowed to go on parole under suspended sentence, and not have to come to prison at all? Why should not he and his wife and children have been spared these long years of separation, this bitter degrading experience, this almost irreparable stain upon his name?

The time between dinner and the walk to the shop is mostly spent writing this journal, but I also enjoy a nice visit from the Chaplain’s assistant, Dickinson. He doesn't bring me the book I picked out this morning, but instead another book and some magazines that I'm not interested in. What I really appreciate is the friendly conversation we have. It’s not long before he sets down the books he’s delivering to the cells and rushes off, soon coming back with photos of his wife[Pg 43] and three lovely kids. He’s a sharp-looking guy, with honest blue eyes and a nice face—no hint of a “Criminal” about him. He shares some details of his story, and it’s a sad one. But his time in prison is over; he expects to be released on Saturday. A while back, he was granted parole on the condition that he find a job, which he has now landed. He says this prison experience has been a “good lesson” for him. I have no doubt it has been, and I believe his hopes will come true; but it’s such a shame! Why should a guy like him, guilty of only a minor crime and lacking any criminal intent, not be allowed to go on parole under a suspended sentence and avoid prison altogether? Why shouldn’t he and his wife and kids have been spared these long years of separation, this painful degrading experience, this nearly irreparable stain on his name?

At about half past one o’clock the cells are unlocked, as I have already described. The Captain returns, pressing down the levers; I push open my door, place my tin cup on a small shelf at the left on leaving the cell and follow the other men rapidly along the narrow gallery and down a short flight of narrow, slippery iron stairs, coming to a halt at the door opening into the yard. Here the Captain places me third in line on the left, for we[Pg 44] march in double file. I am flattered by the promotion, but possibly the man in front of me feels differently about it. I hope he’ll bear no grudge; but, if he had turned about and landed me one between the eyes that last time I trod on his heel, it would not have been surprising. The shoes presented me by the state of New York are so stiff and clumsy that I find it quite a task to manage my feet; it is difficult to steer them properly; and of course this marching in close order is something quite new to me.

At around 1:30, the cells are unlocked, as I’ve mentioned before. The Captain comes back, pressing down the levers; I push open my door, put my tin cup on a small shelf to the left as I leave the cell, and quickly follow the other guys down the narrow hallway and a short set of slippery iron stairs, stopping at the door that leads to the yard. Here, the Captain places me third in line on the left, since we[Pg 44] march in double file. I feel flattered by the promotion, but the guy in front of me might not feel the same way. I hope he won’t hold a grudge; but if he had turned around and punched me in the face the last time I stepped on his heel, it wouldn’t have been surprising. The shoes given to me by the state of New York are so stiff and clunky that managing my feet is quite a challenge; it’s hard to control them properly, and of course, this marching in formation is completely new to me.

First at half speed—then at a good round pace—we march out of the north wing, wheel to the right on reaching the center walk, swing down the length of the yard; then turn to the left, pass through the building where the buckets are emptied and washed, and halt where they are placed to dry and be disinfected. After a pause here of only a moment we march on again to the basket-shop.

First at half speed—then at a steady pace—we march out of the north wing, turn right when we reach the center walkway, move down the length of the yard; then turn left, go through the building where the buckets are emptied and washed, and stop where they are placed to dry and be disinfected. After a brief pause here, we march on again to the basket shop.

Just as we reach there and break ranks, the young officer who served as guide this morning presents himself; and in silence I am conducted back up the yard and again to the Doctor’s office, where my very thorough medical examination is completed.

Just as we get there and fall out, the young officer who guided us this morning shows up; and in silence, I’m taken back up the yard and again to the Doctor’s office, where my detailed medical exam wraps up.

After the Doctor is through with me I go to the hallway outside his office where a number of other prisoners are awaiting their turns. As my[Pg 45] officer has not come back, and does not do so for some time, there is an opportunity to practice what is apparently the most necessary virtue of prison life—patience. I take my place along the wall with the other convicts and watch for a chance to open a whispered conversation. From where I stand I can look up a short flight of steps into the front room of the hospital, where there are a number of men moving about; among them one of the city undertakers. Then I remember having heard at the front office, as I came in this morning, of the sudden death of a young prisoner last night from pneumonia. Four convicts come up the stairs, bringing a large, ominous looking, oblong receptacle, which they take to a door on my left. It does not look quite like a coffin, but there is little doubt as to its purpose. As the door is opened, I glance in; and there, covered with a white sheet, is all that remains of the poor lad—the disgraced and discarded human tenement of one divine spark of life.

After the Doctor finishes with me, I head to the hallway outside his office where several other prisoners are waiting for their turns. Since my[Pg 45] officer hasn't returned and doesn't for a while, I have a chance to work on what seems to be the most important skill in prison life—patience. I take my spot against the wall with the other inmates and look for an opportunity to start a quiet conversation. From where I stand, I can see up a short flight of stairs into the main area of the hospital, where several men are moving around, including one of the city undertakers. Then I remember hearing at the front office when I arrived this morning about the sudden death of a young prisoner last night from pneumonia. Four inmates come up the stairs carrying a large, foreboding, oblong container that they take to a door on my left. It doesn’t look exactly like a coffin, but there’s no doubt about its purpose. As the door opens, I sneak a glance inside; and there, covered with a white sheet, is all that remains of the poor kid—the shamed and abandoned human shell of one divine spark of life.

A death in prison. Tears fill my eyes as I turn away thinking of that lonely, friendless deathbed; thinking that perhaps some loving mother or young wife in the world outside, bearing bravely her own share of shame and punishment, has been struggling to keep body and soul together until her prisoner could come back home; perhaps at this very moment wondering why she has not received from him the last monthly letter. And[Pg 46] now—— Can the world hold any tragedy more terrible than this?

A death in prison. Tears fill my eyes as I turn away, thinking about that lonely, friendless deathbed; wondering if some loving mother or young wife out in the world, bravely dealing with her own share of shame and punishment, has been trying to hold it all together until her prisoner comes back home; maybe right now she's questioning why she hasn’t received his last monthly letter. And[Pg 46] now—— Is there any tragedy in the world more terrible than this?

A young negro prisoner standing by, who has also looked into the chamber of death, breathes a low sigh and whispers, “God! That’s where I wish I was!”

A young Black prisoner standing nearby, who has also peered into the chamber of death, lets out a soft sigh and whispers, “God! That’s where I wish I was!”

The convict next him, a broad-shouldered young chap, who whispers to me that he comes from Brooklyn and gets out in January, goes in to ask some special favor of the Doctor. He gives me on the side a most humorous and quite indescribable wink and grin as his request is granted. His attitude suggests that he has “slipped one over” on somebody. He mounts the steps to the hospital and the young negro takes his turn with the Doctor as the coffin, heavy now with its mournful load, is brought out from the room on the left. At the same moment the officer returns to my rescue; and I follow him downstairs and out into the fresh air and the sunlight.

The convict next to me, a broad-shouldered young guy, whispers that he’s from Brooklyn and will be out in January. He goes in to ask the Doctor for a special favor. He gives me a really funny and completely indescribable wink and grin when his request is granted. It’s like he’s saying he’s “pulled one over” on someone. He heads up the steps to the hospital while the young Black man takes his turn with the Doctor, as the coffin, now heavy with its sad burden, is brought out from the room on the left. At the same time, the officer comes back to help me, and I follow him downstairs and out into the fresh air and sunlight.

Comedy and tragedy seem to jostle each other in prison even as in the world outside. But the comedy itself is tragic; while the tragedy lies beyond the realm of tears—in the gray twilight region of a suffering too deep for speech, where sympathy seems helpless.

Comedy and tragedy seem to bump up against each other in prison just like in the outside world. But the comedy itself is tragic; while the tragedy exists beyond tears—in that gray twilight space of suffering that's too deep for words, where sympathy feels powerless.


As I now sit writing in my cell, from out the darkness, loneliness, and stillness about me comes the sweet[Pg 47] voice of a violin. Someone is playing the melody of Mendelssohn’s Spring Song, and playing well. I wonder if he knows that I am near him, and is trying to send me his message of good will. One peculiarity of this place is that sounds reach the heavily recessed door of a cell mainly by reflection from the outer wall, and my ear is not sufficiently trained to know from what direction the sounds come. The invisible violinist, wherever he is, has an unusually good tone and plays with genuine feeling. Unfortunately he has not played many bars before more instruments join in—jewsharps, harmonicas, and other things. It is an extraordinary jumble of sounds—a wild pandemonium after the deadly quiet of a few moments ago. A train blowing off steam at the New York Central station, immediately opposite our front windows, is also contributing its quota of noise.

As I sit here writing in my cell, out of the darkness, loneliness, and stillness around me comes the sweet[Pg 47] sound of a violin. Someone is playing Mendelssohn’s Spring Song, and they’re doing it beautifully. I wonder if they know I’m close by and are trying to send me a message of goodwill. One strange thing about this place is that sounds reach the heavily recessed door of a cell mainly through reflection off the outer wall, and my ear isn't trained enough to tell where the sounds are coming from. The invisible violinist, wherever they are, has an unusually good tone and plays with real emotion. Unfortunately, it’s not long before more instruments join in—jewsharps, harmonicas, and other things. It turns into an extraordinary mix of sounds—a wild chaos after the deadly quiet of just a moment ago. A train releasing steam at the New York Central station, right across from our front windows, is also adding to the noise.

The gallery boy has just passed along, filled my tin cup with water for the night, and exchanged a few words. He says that for twenty minutes each evening, from six-forty to seven, each man may “do what he likes” in his cell. A cornet is the latest addition to the noise. The whole episode impresses me as being such a mingling of the pathetic and the humorous that I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Consider the conditions which make twenty minutes of such a performance a boon to man!

The gallery boy just came by, filled my tin cup with water for the night, and we chatted for a bit. He mentioned that every evening, from six-forty to seven, each guy can "do what he wants" in his cell for twenty minutes. A cornet is the newest addition to the noise. The whole situation strikes me as such a mix of sad and funny that I can't decide whether to laugh or cry. Just think about the circumstances that make twenty minutes of this kind of freedom a blessing for a person!

The gallery boy evinces a desire to strike up friendly relations; he brings me a box of matches in case I want to smoke, and offers to do anything for me he can. I am not a smoker, but I don’t like to decline his good offices; so I stow away the matches for future reference.

The gallery boy shows that he wants to be friendly; he brings me a box of matches in case I want to smoke and says he'll do anything he can for me. I'm not a smoker, but I don't want to turn down his kind offer; so I put the matches away just in case.


[Pg 48]Let me resume the thread of my story.

[Pg 48]Let me continue with my story.

The officer takes me from the Doctor’s office to the room where the Bertillon measurements are taken. Here there is a fifth set of questions to answer. I have not the slightest possible objection to giving all the statistics the state officials want; my time is theirs, and there is no possible hurry. I may as well get rid of a few hours, more or less, of my “bit” in this way as in any other; so I shall not register any kick even if I am called upon to supply fifty sets of statistics instead of only five.

The officer takes me from the doctor’s office to the room where they take the Bertillon measurements. Here, there’s another set of questions to answer. I have no problem providing any statistics the officials need; my time is theirs, and there’s no rush. I might as well pass a few hours, however many, of my “sentence” this way instead of another; so I won’t complain even if I have to give fifty sets of statistics instead of just five.

The orders of the Bertillon clerk are given perfunctorily, with the air of one who is greatly bored by the whole performance. Naturally it is not so novel to him as to me. I remove my coat and put on, as they are handed to me by the assistant, a white linen shirt-bosom, a very dirty collar of the requisite size, and a black coat and necktie. Then I am photographed—front view and profile. The use of the peculiar apparel is, presumably, either to make the photograph clearer, or to have all “subjects” taken under similar conditions and looking somewhat as they do when out of prison and in ordinary clothes.

The orders from the Bertillon clerk are given in a half-hearted way, as if he’s really bored with the whole thing. Of course, it's not new to him like it is for me. I take off my coat and put on, as the assistant hands them to me, a white linen shirt front, a very dirty collar of the required size, and a black coat and tie. Then I get photographed—front view and side profile. The purpose of this specific outfit is probably to make the photo clearer or to have all “subjects” captured under the same conditions, looking a bit like they do when they're out of prison and wearing regular clothes.

Then my finger tips, on both hands, are carefully rolled one by one in India ink, and impressions of them taken on cards—twice separately, and twice all five at once. This seems to bore the clerk more than the photographing.

Then my fingertips, on both hands, are carefully dipped one by one in India ink, and impressions of them are taken on cards—twice separately and twice all five at once. This seems to annoy the clerk more than the photographing.

[Pg 49]Then a series of measurements from top to toe is taken, and every possible means of identification noted and registered: color of hair and eyes; shape of head; characteristics of eyes, nose, mouth; the scar received at football thirty-four years ago, which I supposed was successfully concealed by my right eyebrow; the minute check on the left ear from a forgotten frostbite; the almost imperceptible bit of smooth skin on the back of my right hand, where a small lump was once removed by electricity; no blemish or defect is over-looked—until I begin to feel like a sort of monstrosity. I derive some satisfaction, however, from the fact that my business-like inquisitor is quite at a loss to account for six peculiar scars upon my upper left arm, familiar to Harvard men of my generation. It is some satisfaction to know that my Alma Mater has not sent many of her sons to take a post-graduate course in this institution.

[Pg 49]Then a series of measurements from head to toe is taken, and every possible means of identification is noted and recorded: hair and eye color; head shape; features of the eyes, nose, mouth; the scar from playing football thirty-four years ago, which I thought was successfully hidden by my right eyebrow; the tiny mark on my left ear from a forgotten frostbite; the nearly invisible smooth patch on the back of my right hand, where a small lump was once removed using electricity; no blemish or defect is overlooked—until I start to feel like some kind of monster. However, I do find a bit of satisfaction in the fact that my business-like questioner is completely at a loss to explain six odd scars on my upper left arm, known to Harvard men of my generation. It’s comforting to know that my Alma Mater hasn’t sent many of her sons to take a post-graduate course in this institution.

So complete and searching have been the examination and record for identification that I have a sort of discouraged feeling about the future. It occurs to me that I may be cramped in a choice of further activities; and that my chance of ever gaining a good living by honest burglary has been considerably reduced, if not destroyed. I communicate this rather frivolous sentiment to the clerk who receives it grimly, and is more bored than ever. I feel properly snubbed and rebuked.

So thorough and intense has been the evaluation and record for identification that I have a bit of a discouraged feeling about the future. It strikes me that I might be limited in my choice of future activities; and that my chances of ever making a decent living from honest burglary have been significantly diminished, if not entirely wiped out. I share this rather trivial thought with the clerk, who takes it seriously and seems more bored than ever. I feel justly put in my place and reprimanded.

[Pg 50]Evidently a prisoner should speak only when spoken to, and certainly should not venture to joke with an official. I shall take warning and not offend again.

[Pg 50]Clearly, a prisoner should only speak when addressed and definitely shouldn't try to joke with a guard. I'll take this as a warning and won't make the same mistake again.

I wonder how my measurements differ from those of the average criminal, and how much of a rough-neck my photograph will make me look.

I’m curious how my measurements compare to those of the average criminal, and how tough my photo will make me appear.

At last all preliminaries are completed; and now I am free to consider myself a full-fledged convict.

At last, all the preliminaries are done, and now I can consider myself a full-fledged convict.

The young officer who up to now has been my guide and philosopher, if not exactly a friend, conducts me down the yard once again, duly delivers me over to Captain Lamb at the basket-shop, and takes his final departure. The Captain leads me at once to a rough wooden table, about thirty feet in front of the raised platform on which he sits. Here stands a good-sized, broad-shouldered, black-haired fellow, working with his back to us as we approach. He pauses as we stop before his table.

The young officer who has been my guide and mentor, if not quite a friend, takes me through the yard once more, hands me over to Captain Lamb at the basket shop, and leaves for good. The Captain immediately brings me to a rough wooden table, about thirty feet in front of the raised platform where he sits. There’s a large, broad-shouldered guy with black hair working with his back to us as we get closer. He pauses when we stop in front of his table.

“Jack,” says the Captain, “this is Thomas Brown. Thomas, this is John Murphy, who will be your working partner.”

“Jack,” says the Captain, “this is Thomas Brown. Thomas, this is John Murphy, who will be your work partner.”

“Glad to meet you, Mr. Brown,” says a pleasant voice.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Brown,” says a friendly voice.

Looking toward my partner and his outstretched hand, I decide to venture another joke. “Captain,” I remark, advancing my hand [Pg 51]cautiously, “this may be all right; but it’s only fair to warn you that if this gentleman is any relative of the Boss of Tammany Hall there may be trouble.”

Looking at my partner and his outstretched hand, I decide to take another shot at a joke. “Captain,” I say, slowly reaching out my hand [Pg 51], “this might be fine; but I should let you know that if this guy is related to the Boss of Tammany Hall, there could be some trouble.”

A pair of honest gray eyes light up with a smile as the owner says, “No, Mr. Brown, I’m no relation; and what’s more I haven’t any use for him.”

A pair of sincere gray eyes brighten with a smile as the owner says, “No, Mr. Brown, we’re not related; and what’s more, I have no use for him.”

Upon this we shake hands cordially. “Excuse me, Captain,” I remark to that officer, “but you see I want to be careful and not run into difficulties of any kind.”

Upon this we shake hands warmly. “Excuse me, Captain,” I say to that officer, “but I want to be careful and avoid any issues.”

The Captain smiles gravely in his turn, and introduces me to another of the prisoners who has approached at a sign from the officer. He is a slightly built, pleasantly smiling young man who is to be my boss in the shop, Harley Stuhlmiller. By him I am to be initiated into the art of making basket bottoms; and Murphy is to have me as his partner or apprentice, and see that I make no mistakes in following the boss’s instructions.

The Captain smiles seriously in return and introduces me to another prisoner who has come forward at the officer's signal. He is a slim, friendly young man who will be my supervisor in the shop, Harley Stuhlmiller. He will teach me the craft of making basket bottoms, and Murphy will be my partner or mentor, making sure I don’t mess up while following the supervisor's directions.

So I take off my cap and coat and start to work. I do not find it very difficult; for, curiously enough, over forty years ago I learned something of the art of weaving baskets. When I was a young lad my family spent a summer at a place on the New England seacoast. On the beach was the tent of an old Indian, who made and sold baskets; and, having much time on my hands, I persuaded the[Pg 52] old fellow to teach me basket-making. One certainly never knows when an odd bit of knowledge or information may come handy; here am I making use of something learned two generations and more ago, and never practiced since.

So I take off my hat and jacket and get to work. I don't find it very hard; oddly enough, over forty years ago I learned a bit about basket weaving. When I was a kid, my family spent a summer at a spot on the New England coast. On the beach was an old Indian's tent, where he made and sold baskets; with plenty of time on my hands, I convinced the[Pg 52] old guy to teach me how to make baskets. You really never know when a random piece of knowledge will come in handy; here I am using something I learned more than two generations ago, and haven't practiced since.

I spend a really pleasant afternoon learning my job and chatting under my breath with the two men—my boss and my partner. They give me some wise advice as to my conduct, some information as to prison ways, and compliment me upon the quickness with which I pick up the basket work. I explain about the previous experience and tell them not to give me too much taffy. They assure me that what I have done in the short time I have been working is really very good. The expected task for a man and his partner is five bottoms a day, and I accomplish one and a half for a part of the afternoon. Stuhlmiller calls this to the attention of John, the citizen instructor, and he smilingly grunts approval, but suggests certain improvements in my manner of work. Thus, so far as the shop is concerned, I seem to be a success. The convicts about me pay very little attention to the newcomer, but I catch an occasional smile and nod of encouragement.

I spend a really nice afternoon learning my job and quietly chatting with the two guys—my boss and my partner. They give me some good advice on how to act, share some info about prison life, and compliment me on how quickly I’m picking up the basket work. I mention my previous experience and tell them not to flatter me too much. They assure me that what I've done in the short time I've been working is actually quite good. The usual expectation for a guy and his partner is five bottoms a day, and I manage one and a half for part of the afternoon. Stuhlmiller points this out to John, the citizen instructor, who smiles and grunts in approval but suggests some ways to improve my work style. So, as far as the shop goes, I seem to be doing well. The other convicts barely notice the newcomer, but I do catch an occasional smile and nod of encouragement.

Along in the afternoon, about four o’clock I should judge, work begins to slack up; and several of the prisoners who have finished their allotted tasks are walking back and forth. Each one confines himself to such a very short distance, that I[Pg 53] inquire of Murphy the reason; and he tells me that the boundaries of each man’s walk are the posts of the building on either side of his bench or table. This gives a very restricted area for exercise, but, as it is the only chance for exercise at all, the men make the most of it.

Later in the afternoon, around four o’clock I’d guess, work starts to slow down; and several of the prisoners who have finished their assigned tasks are pacing back and forth. Each person sticks to such a small distance that I[Pg 53] ask Murphy why, and he tells me that the limits of each man’s walking area are defined by the posts of the building on either side of his bench or table. This creates a very confined space for exercise, but since it’s the only opportunity for any exercise at all, the men make the most of it.

At about half past four my partner proposes that we knock off work and clean up. By this time there is a general cessation of labor about the shop, and most of the men are sweeping up around their tables and benches. Murphy produces a broom, and informs me that when two men work together it is customary to take turns in cleaning up after work-hours. So at this hint I take the broom and soon have the work done. Then we wash up; my partner sharing with me his soap and towel. I put on my coat and cap and await further developments.

At around 4:30, my partner suggests we finish up work and clean up. By this time, everyone in the shop has stopped working, and most of the guys are sweeping around their tables and benches. Murphy grabs a broom and tells me that when two people work together, it's normal to take turns cleaning up after hours. So, I take the broom at his hint and quickly get the job done. Then we wash up, and my partner shares his soap and towel with me. I put on my coat and cap and wait for what happens next.

Murphy, after replacing the soap and towel in his locker, comes around to my side of our workbench or table. “Say, Brown,” he remarks, “I hope you won’t think me imposing on you in any way, but while we work together I intend to treat you as if I had never seen or known of you before.”

Murphy, after putting new soap and a towel in his locker, comes over to my side of our workbench. “Hey, Brown,” he says, “I hope you don’t mind, but while we work together, I plan to treat you like I’ve never met you before.”

“Thank you, Murphy,” I reply, pleased at his frankness, “that is exactly the way I want to be treated.”

“Thanks, Murphy,” I respond, happy with his honesty, “that’s exactly how I want to be treated.”

Certainly nothing could be better than the attitude of the two men with whom my work has[Pg 54] brought me in contact. There has been not the slightest tinge of self-consciousness; no trace of servility or currying favor, absolutely nothing except Murphy’s frank explanation to make me feel that they are not treating me exactly as I asked them yesterday to do—as a new man and one of themselves.

Certainly nothing could be better than the attitude of the two men I've been in contact with through my work. There hasn't been the slightest hint of self-consciousness; no trace of servility or trying to win favor, absolutely nothing except Murphy’s straightforward explanation to make me feel that they are treating me exactly as I asked them to yesterday—as a newcomer and one of their own.

After we have sat around patiently and wearily for a considerable time, the hour for return to the cell-house arrives. The Captain gives the signal to fall in. “Good night, Brown!” “Good night, Murphy!” and I take my place in the line. The Captain counts us with care while we stand rigidly before him. Then the cripples, invalids and poor old broken-down men start ahead of the main body to hobble wearily back to their cells. Meanwhile we able-bodied men of the company march over to the stands where the buckets are drying, pause for an instant, then swing up through the yard, with a tramp, tramp, tramp, that is quite exhilarating after an afternoon’s work in the shop.

After we've waited around patiently and tiredly for quite a while, it's time to head back to the cell house. The Captain signals us to line up. “Good night, Brown!” “Good night, Murphy!” I take my spot in line. The Captain counts us carefully while we stand straight in front of him. Then the disabled, sick, and old men move ahead of the rest of us, slowly making their way back to their cells. Meanwhile, we able-bodied men in the group march over to the stands where the buckets are drying, pause for a moment, and then stride through the yard with a steady, invigorating march after a long afternoon in the shop.

We march straight up the yard and into the basement door of the main building where, just within the entrance, are placed some tables laden with slices of bread. Following the example of the other men, I grab a slice—some take two slices, there is apparently no restriction as to amount—and then climb the slippery iron stairs[Pg 55] in my heavy shoes. As we go along the gallery the man just behind me whispers, “Well, Tom, how do you like it?”

We walk straight up the yard and into the basement door of the main building where, just inside the entrance, there are some tables filled with slices of bread. Following what the other guys are doing, I take a slice—some take two, and there doesn’t seem to be any limit—and then climb the slippery iron stairs[Pg 55] in my heavy shoes. As we move along the hallway, the guy just behind me whispers, “So, Tom, what do you think?”

I turn and whisper laughingly, “All right, no kick coming,” and turn into my cell.

I turn and whisper with a laugh, “Okay, no problem,” and step into my cell.

On the iron shelf outside stands my tin cup filled with a hot black liquid—whether tea or coffee I don’t know. What I do know is that the odor is vicious. I hesitate about taking it into the cell.

On the metal shelf outside sits my tin cup filled with a hot black liquid—whether it's tea or coffee, I can't tell. What I do know is that the smell is terrible. I'm hesitant to bring it into the cell.

The gallery boy arriving says, “Brown, I didn’t know whether you wanted tea or water, so I gave you tea.”

The gallery boy arrives and says, “Brown, I wasn’t sure if you wanted tea or water, so I brought you tea.”

“Thank you,” I rejoin, “but I think I’ll take water.” So he brings back my tin cup filled with a liquid which if mild is comparatively harmless, and at least does not smell to heaven. I enter my cell, which is shut and locked.

“Thanks,” I respond, “but I think I’ll stick with water.” So he comes back with my metal cup filled with a drink that, while mild, is relatively harmless, and at least doesn’t have a terrible smell. I go into my cell, which is closed and locked.

After a light breakfast, a lighter dinner, and the afternoon’s work, I feel ravenously hungry—so hungry that the bread and water actually taste rather good, even if the bread is sour. To my surprise I make away with the whole slice, dipping each mouthful into the water and eating as I write; for I have at once taken up this journal to chronicle the events of the afternoon while they are still in mind.

After a light breakfast, a light dinner, and the afternoon's work, I feel super hungry—so hungry that the bread and water actually taste pretty good, even if the bread is sour. To my surprise, I finish the whole slice, dipping each bite into the water and eating as I write; I've decided to start this journal to record the events of the afternoon while they're still fresh in my mind.

I wonder what those greedy children at home will have for dinner to-night. Or whether they[Pg 56] will think of this poor, hungry prisoner, eating his lonely bread and water. This morning my eldest remarked cheerfully, “Well, of course we can telephone you any time.” How little does he realize the reality.

I wonder what those greedy kids at home will have for dinner tonight. Or if they[Pg 56] will think about this poor, hungry prisoner, having his lonely bread and water. This morning my oldest said cheerfully, “Well, of course we can call you anytime.” How little does he realize the truth.

We used to laugh when in “Pinafore” they sang:

We used to laugh when in “Pinafore” they sang:

“He’ll hear no tone
Of the maiden he loves so well;
No telephone
Communicates with his cell.”

“He won’t hear any sound
From the girl he loves so much;
No phone
Connects with his cell.”

I reminded the young man of those lines this morning.

I reminded the young guy of those lines this morning.

No, I fear there are few of us who reflect very much upon what is remote from our direct line of vision. But there will be at least one of us who will do considerable reflecting—after this experience.

No, I worry that there are only a few of us who think deeply about what is far from our immediate view. But at least one of us will do a lot of thinking—after this experience.

I certainly do feel hungry!

I'm definitely feeling hungry!


As a supplement to the foregoing, our friends, A and B, have some further interesting passages:

As a follow-up to the above, our friends, A and B, have shared some more interesting passages:

A: About the first thing an apprentice learns here is the military step; so a few of us watched the company to which Tom was assigned as they passed through the yard from the mess-hall to the shop. As Tom marched by, it became evident from his brisk step that he either learned[Pg 57] it at a military academy or had served time in another “institution.”[5]

A: The first thing an apprentice learns here is the military step; so a few of us watched the company Tom was assigned to as they walked through the yard from the mess hall to the shop. As Tom marched by, it was clear from his quick step that he either learned it at a military academy or had spent time in another "institution."[Pg 57][5]

The routine of prison life, which possesses its good, bad and indifferent parts, can hardly be described here. Suffice to say Tom adhered to it for an entire week.

The daily grind of prison life, which has its ups, downs, and everything in between, is hard to capture here. All that can be said is that Tom stuck to it for an entire week.

This is what B has to say:

This is what B has to say:

Tom Brown’s bed was brought upon the third gallery, cell 55, N.W.; and then in less than fifteen minutes it was changed again, taken down to cell 15, N.N.W. Well, this made the gallery man on the third feel a little blue, for he thought he would like to have Tom on his gallery; and we began to kid him regarding his tough luck.

Tom Brown’s bed was moved to the third gallery, cell 55, N.W.; and then in less than fifteen minutes, it was moved again, taken down to cell 15, N.N.W. This bummed out the gallery guy on the third because he wanted Tom on his gallery, so we started teasing him about his bad luck.

Well, to make this long story short, the gallery men had their own troubles. Every second man wanted us to drop a note in Tom Brown’s cell. But the stools watched; and me, for one, would take no chance. If he got all the notes that was meant for him he would have no room for his bed in his cell.

Well, to cut a long story short, the gallery guys had their own problems. Every other guy wanted us to drop a note in Tom Brown’s cell. But the guards were keeping an eye on us; and I, for one, wasn’t going to take any risks. If he got all the notes meant for him, he wouldn’t have any space for his bed in his cell.

Well, when he left the cell house that day, after dinner, when he got in line with the rest of the cons he marched down the yard like a major. And make out the cons didn’t feel good! And make out the keepers didn’t feel blue!

Well, when he left the cell house that day, after dinner, and fell in line with the rest of the inmates, he walked down the yard like a boss. And you could tell the inmates weren’t feeling great! And you could tell the guards weren’t feeling down!

The keepers wouldn’t look at Tom when he was looking their way; but after he passed, yog—yog—what a rubbering he got!

The keepers wouldn’t look at Tom when he was facing them; but after he walked by, wow—what a stare he got!

[Pg 58]So this was the way of the cell house for one whole week; and, believe me, it was some week, indeed.

[Pg 58]So this was how things went in the cell house for an entire week; and, trust me, it was quite a week.

They tell me when he got in the shop Jack Murphy handed him a broom. You know Jack can be funny when he wants to be. Now the question in mind is, “Did Jack give him that broom to clean out the shop, or did he mean the whole place needed a cleaning out?” Well, I guess Jack, himself, will have to slip us that answer.

They tell me when he got to the shop, Jack Murphy handed him a broom. You know Jack can be funny when he wants to be. Now the question is, “Did Jack give him that broom to clean the shop, or did he mean the whole place needed a cleanup?” Well, I guess Jack himself will have to give us that answer.

 

 


CHAPTER V

THE FIRST NIGHT

Still Monday, but later in the evening. The hour is about—but why attempt to specify the exact time? In this place there seems to be no time—only eternity.

Still Monday, but later in the evening. The hour is about—but why bother trying to pinpoint the exact time? Here, it feels like there’s no time—only eternity.

Having finished in my journal the account of this afternoon’s occurrences, I shall continue to chronicle the events of this evening as long as the light holds out, or as long as there is anything to write about. So I begin where I left off in the last chapter, just after being locked in for the night, as I sat writing and eating my evening meal of bread and water.

Having finished writing about this afternoon’s events in my journal, I’ll keep recording what happens this evening as long as there’s light or something worth noting. So I’ll start from where I left off in the last chapter, right after being locked in for the night, while I sat writing and eating my dinner of bread and water.

 

I receive a call from Captain Lamb after he has carefully counted all his men and locked us in for the night. As he turned the key in my lock, I was instructed to stand up with both hands on the door and rattle it violently, to show that it was firmly secured. The Captain is very pleasant, and grows quite confidential, telling about his experiences in the regular army in the Philippines. He also explains something of[Pg 60] his ideas in regard to handling convicts. Before going away he says that, if I should be taken sick in the night, I must rattle the door and the officer on guard will come and take me to the hospital if necessary.

I get a call from Captain Lamb after he has carefully counted all his men and locked us in for the night. As he turned the key in my lock, I was told to stand up with both hands on the door and shake it hard to show that it was securely locked. The Captain is really nice and becomes quite friendly, sharing his experiences in the regular army in the Philippines. He also shares some of[Pg 60] his thoughts about dealing with convicts. Before he leaves, he says that if I get sick during the night, I should shake the door and the officer on duty will come and take me to the hospital if needed.

He goes away and I begin to have that feeling of lonesome desolation I have already attempted to describe. There are some noises; but they are the noises of tramping feet above, below, of clanging bars and grating locks, then of stealthy footfalls and distant doors. Of the many companions who are living all about me I can see no sight—hear no sound. If my cell were big enough, I should walk round and round as I have seen the caged animals do in menageries. As it is, if I get up from writing, I can only hang at my grated door, looking aimlessly out. It grows dark and ever darker in the corridor outside; there are few sounds now. Inside my cell the electric bulb gives barely light enough to read by. It is horribly lonesome.

He leaves, and I start to feel that deep loneliness I’ve tried to describe before. There are some sounds, but they’re just the thud of footsteps above and below, the clanging of bars and the scraping of locks, along with quiet footsteps and far-off doors. Out of all the people living around me, I can't see anyone or hear anything. If my cell were larger, I’d walk around in circles like the caged animals I’ve seen in zoos. As it is, if I get up from writing, I can only hang by my grated door, staring blankly outside. It’s getting darker and darker in the corridor outside; there are few sounds now. Inside my cell, the electric bulb barely provides enough light to read by. It’s excruciatingly lonely.

Looking up from writing, I give a start at the sight of a white face and the figure of a man just outside the grated door. Peering out through the bars, so that I can get the light on his face, I recognize the Chaplain. He puts two fingers through the door, the nearest possible approach to a handshake, and I feel really grateful for a kindly touch and the sound of a friendly voice. I am conscious of an almost insane desire to talk,[Pg 61] to pour forth words, as if the bars of my cell were damming back the powers of speech.

Looking up from writing, I’m startled by the sight of a pale face and a man standing just outside the barred door. Leaning out between the bars to catch the light on his face, I recognize the Chaplain. He reaches two fingers through the door, the closest thing to a handshake, and I genuinely appreciate the friendly touch and the sound of his voice. I’m hit with an almost overwhelming urge to talk, to spill out words, as if the bars of my cell are holding back my ability to speak.[Pg 61]

The Chaplain is anxious to know how I am getting along, and cheers me by saying that all the men are greatly interested and pleased. “They understand what you are trying to do for them, and appreciate it,” he says. Then he tells of one prisoner he has just left in his cell on one of the upper tiers, whom he found reading Schopenhauer. “He said he did not know you, has nothing at all to ask of you, and will probably never see you to speak to; but your action in coming here has somehow made him feel that the pessimistic view he has had of the world must be wrong.”

The Chaplain is eager to know how I'm doing and encourages me by saying that all the men are really interested and happy. “They understand what you’re trying to do for them, and they appreciate it,” he says. Then he shares about one prisoner he just visited in his cell on one of the upper tiers, who he found reading Schopenhauer. “He said he didn’t know you, has nothing to ask of you, and will probably never get a chance to speak to you; but your decision to come here has somehow made him feel that the pessimistic view he’s had of the world must be wrong.”

After some further talk, the Chaplain says “Good night,” and goes away. I sincerely hope that he is right in his belief; that the men do care; that, besides gaining the information I came here for, my visit may be of some interest and comfort to these poor fellows. Murphy said to me to-day, “Say, you’ve got the boys all right.” If he and the Chaplain are correct, I may get from my experience much more than I expected.

After talking a bit more, the Chaplain says “Good night” and leaves. I really hope he’s right in thinking that the men care; that, in addition to getting the information I came here for, my visit might actually be interesting and comforting for these guys. Murphy told me today, “Hey, you’ve got the boys on your side.” If he and the Chaplain are right, I might gain a lot more from this experience than I thought.

I have already told how, not very long after the Chaplain leaves me and as I sit writing, the lovely sound of a violin floats into the cell. Then come the sounds of many other instruments, and the noise of the train at the railway station, over[Pg 62] the wall and across the street. I have also described the ensuing pandemonium. After twenty minutes of these evidences of the human life existing all around, the noise ceases as suddenly as it began, and there comes a silence more profound than that which preceded the musical explosion. Only an occasional cough, the sound of a stealthy footfall, the jar of some iron door or the clank of distant bolt or bar. Yet I am conscious of one curious sound which I am unable to place or explain. It is like a very delicate clicking upon iron and is almost continuous. I wonder whether it is the tapping of prisoners’ messages from cell to cell, of which I have heard. It would be convenient to know the telegraphic code, so as to take part in any such conversation. I listen with interest to the clicking, but it seems not to change its direction and to have but little regularity. I wonder what it is.

I've already mentioned how, not long after the Chaplain leaves and while I'm writing, the beautiful sound of a violin drifts into my cell. Then, I hear a mix of other instruments, along with the noise of a train at the station, coming over[Pg 62] the wall and across the street. I've also described the chaos that follows. After twenty minutes of these reminders of the life happening all around me, the noise stops as suddenly as it started, and a silence more intense than before the music fills the air. Only an occasional cough, the sound of quiet footsteps, the rattling of some iron door, or the distant clank of a bolt or bar can be heard. Still, I'm aware of one strange sound that I can't identify or explain. It resembles a very delicate clicking on iron and is almost continuous. I wonder if it’s prisoners tapping messages from cell to cell, something I've heard about. It would be helpful to know the code so I could join in on such conversations. I listen closely to the clicking, but it seems to stay consistent and irregular. I can't help but wonder what it is.

The night officer has just stopped for a moment at the grating of my cell. I ask him the time. Seven-twenty. Good Lord! I thought it must be nearly nine. I am usually very good at guessing time, but in this place I am utterly unable to make any accurate calculation. Just for the experience, I’m going to stop writing and lock up my writing materials, to see how it feels to have nothing to do.

The night officer just paused briefly at the bars of my cell. I ask him what time it is. Seven-twenty. Oh my God! I thought it was almost nine. I'm usually pretty good at guessing time, but in this place, I completely lose track. Just for the experience, I'm going to stop writing and put away my writing supplies to see how it feels to have nothing to do.

I take down my paper and pencil again to record a most thrilling discovery. I have found—a[Pg 63] pocket in my prison coat! All day I have worried at the absence of one; now I find it—left, on the inside. Imagine the state of mind when such a thing really produces almost a feeling of nervous excitement.

I grab my notebook and pencil again to note an incredibly exciting discovery. I’ve found—a[Pg 63] pocket in my prison coat! All day I’ve been stressed about not having one; now I find it—hidden on the inside. Just imagine how I felt when I discovered something like this—it's almost nerve-wracking with excitement.

I simply must keep on writing out of sheer desperation. I have tried to use up some minutes by rearranging my clothes, pulling up my socks, and tightening my belt; I have not yet investigated the workings of my bed, as I wish to leave that for a later excitement.

I just have to keep writing out of pure desperation. I've tried to kill some time by rearranging my clothes, pulling up my socks, and tightening my belt; I haven't looked into the mechanics of my bed yet because I want to save that for a later thrill.

From the distance I catch the single stroke of the City Hall bell, which marks eight o’clock. Another hour yet before the lights go out; and then ten hours more before I can leave this cell!

From a distance, I hear the single toll of the City Hall bell signaling eight o'clock. There's still another hour before the lights go out, and then ten more hours before I can leave this cell!

How in the world do they bear it—the men who look forward to long years of imprisonment? My working partner, Murphy, has a life term. For what, I wonder? He seems like such a good fellow; and the Chaplain has just spoken of him most highly.

How on earth do they handle it—the men who anticipate years of imprisonment? My work buddy, Murphy, is serving a life sentence. For what reason, I wonder? He seems like such a decent guy; and the Chaplain just spoke very highly of him.

What a mystery it all is! And what a commentary on our civilization that we can do nothing better with such men than to throw away their lives and ruin them, body and soul. The old ones arouse one’s pity; but the young men—many of those in chapel yesterday were mere boys.

What a mystery it all is! And what a statement about our society that we can do nothing better with such men than to waste their lives and destroy them, physically and emotionally. The older ones inspire sympathy; but the young men—many of those in chapel yesterday were just boys.

God! What a miserable, shameful waste of human life—of human energy! Must we not find[Pg 64] some way in which the good there is in these broken lives can be repaired and made useful to society?

God! What a terrible, shameful waste of human life—of human potential! Can’t we find[Pg 64] some way to repair the good in these broken lives and make it useful to society?

At last a bell, the first signal for the night. I think it is twenty minutes before nine. As the kindly gallery boy has brought me a glass tumbler, I brush my teeth with a minimum of inconvenience, wash my face, and then investigate the workings of the bed. It is loosely fastened to two iron hooks in the wall, on the inside; and the outside rests on two legs which dangle in the air vaguely, and will probably let me down in the night if they do not rest firmly on the floor to begin with. After manipulating the bed successfully, I let down the mattress on top of it and arrange the blankets as well as possible.

At last, a bell rings, the first signal for the night. I think it’s about twenty minutes before nine. Since the friendly gallery guy has brought me a glass tumbler, I quickly brush my teeth, wash my face, and then check out how the bed works. It’s loosely secured to two iron hooks in the wall on the inside, while the outside rests on two legs that dangle in the air uncertainly and will probably drop me in the night if they’re not resting firmly on the floor to begin with. After successfully adjusting the bed, I put the mattress down on top and arrange the blankets as best as I can.

About a quarter of an hour more before lights out. It is all very well to look forward to that landmark, but what after that? What of the ten-hour night ahead of me? And this is only the first night of six. Suppose it were the first night of six thousand.

About fifteen more minutes until lights out. It’s nice to look forward to that moment, but what comes after? What about the ten-hour night ahead of me? And this is just the first night of six. What if it were the first night of six thousand?

I hastily take a sheet of paper, mark off a space for each day and each night I expect to be here, and scratch off Monday. One-twelfth of my penance gone at any rate. I don’t count Sunday, because that will be only half a day; or I will write in Sunday at the bottom, as a sort of separate affair. I hang this rough calendar upon the wall;[Pg 65] and then it suddenly occurs to me that it is exactly what I have always read of prisoners doing.

I quickly grab a piece of paper, create a space for each day and night I expect to be here, and cross off Monday. At least one-twelfth of my punishment is over. I don’t count Sunday because that’ll only be half a day; or I’ll note Sunday at the bottom, treating it as a separate matter. I hang this makeshift calendar on the wall;[Pg 65] and then it hits me that it’s exactly what I’ve always read about prisoners doing.

Oh! Will these lights never go out!

Oh! Will these lights ever turn off!

I shall put away this writing, and just wait.

I’ll set this writing aside and just wait.

Merciful God! How do they ever stand it?

Merciful God! How do they even put up with it?

 

Tuesday morning: after breakfast.

Tuesday morning: post-breakfast.

The first night is over. They all say it is the worst. It could hardly be called a success—considered as a period of rest and refreshment; at least it did not “knit up the raveled sleeve of care” to any very great extent. At nine o’clock the lights at last went out. I was already in bed and waiting, but I was not at all prepared for the shock I received. While there is light in the cell, the bars of the door look gray against the darkness outside—and that is bad enough; but when the lights go out, there is just enough brightness from the corridor below to change the door into a grating of most terrible, unearthly blackness. The bars are so black that they seem to close in upon you—to come nearer and nearer, until they press upon your very forehead. It is of no use to shut your eyes for you know they are still there; you can feel the blackness of those iron bars across[Pg 66] your closed eyelids; they seem to sear themselves into your very soul. It is the most terrible sensation I ever experienced. I understand now the prison pallor; I understand the sensitiveness of this prison audience; I understand the high nervous tension which makes anything possible. How does any man remain sane, I wonder, caged in this stone grave day after day, night after night?

The first night is finished. Everyone says it’s the worst. It could hardly be seen as a success—considering it was meant for rest and relaxation; at least it didn’t really “knit up the raveled sleeve of care” to any significant degree. At nine o’clock, the lights finally went out. I was already in bed, waiting, but I was not at all ready for the shock I experienced. While there’s light in the cell, the bars of the door look gray against the darkness outside—and that’s already bad enough; but when the lights go out, there’s just enough dim light from the corridor below to turn the door into a grating of horrifying, unearthly blackness. The bars are so dark that they seem to close in on you—to come closer and closer, until they press against your forehead. It’s pointless to shut your eyes because you know they’re still there; you can feel the darkness of those iron bars across[Pg 66] your closed eyelids; they feel like they’re seared into your very soul. It’s the worst sensation I’ve ever felt. I now understand the prison pallor; I understand the sensitivity of this prison audience; I understand the high nervous tension that makes anything possible. How does any man stay sane, I wonder, trapped in this stone grave day after day, night after night?

And always there come the sound of keys turning and the grating of iron hinges and bolts and bars. And as if the double-locked levers were not enough, I noticed for the first time last night a triple lock. A long iron bar drops down in front of all the cells on the tier; and against that iron bar rest the ends of iron brackets projecting from the iron doors. So that by merely unlocking and pressing down the levers you cannot be set free; the long bar must be raised at the end of the gallery, where it is fastened by another lock and special key. This discovery seems to put the crowning touch to that desperate sensation of confinement. I already hate the levers; I doubly hate the lock and big key; but no words can express my detestation of that iron bar.

And always, I hear the sound of keys turning and the grinding of metal hinges, bolts, and bars. And just when I thought the double-lock levers were enough, I noticed for the first time last night a triple lock. A long iron bar drops down in front of all the cells on the tier, and the ends of iron brackets extend from the iron doors against that bar. So, just unlocking and pressing down the levers won’t set you free; the long bar has to be raised at the end of the gallery, where it’s secured by another lock and a special key. This discovery just adds to the overwhelming feeling of confinement. I already hate the levers; I hate the lock and the large key even more; but no words can capture how much I loathe that iron bar.

However, just before ten o’clock I did manage to lose consciousness; I recall the time by the sounds of the nine-fifty New York Central train. Even in the midst of my discomfort I had to smile at the plight of one who has to tell time by trains on the Auburn branch of the New York Central.[Pg 67] I do not know how much I slept through the night, but I was greatly disturbed by the frequent and pathetic coughing, sighing, and groaning from other cells. It was only too evident that many others were sleeping no better than I. Possibly the delicate attentions of the night keeper going his rounds and flashing his electric bull’s-eye through the bars straight in our faces, may have had something to do with it. Certainly that custom is hardly conducive to unbroken slumbers. Apparently, it is considered necessary to do this in order to prevent suicides. One poor fellow had tried to make away with himself on the previous night; such attempts are not uncommon, I’m told.

However, just before ten o’clock, I finally passed out; I know this because of the sounds from the 9:50 New York Central train. Even in my discomfort, I had to smile at the situation of someone who tells time by trains on the Auburn branch of the New York Central.[Pg 67] I’m not sure how much I slept through the night, but I was really bothered by the constant, sad coughing, sighing, and groaning from other cells. It was clear that many others were sleeping just as poorly as I was. Maybe the night keeper’s delicate attention as he went around flashing his electric bull’s-eye right in our faces contributed to it. That routine certainly doesn’t help for a good night’s sleep. It seems necessary to do this to prevent suicides. One poor guy tried to take his life the night before; I’ve heard that such attempts aren’t uncommon.

Again—what a commentary!

Wow—what a commentary!

As I had not yet quite reached the point of self-destruction, the flashlight was distinctly annoying; it seemed always to come just after I had succeeded in dropping off to sleep.

As I hadn't quite hit rock bottom yet, the flashlight was really irritating; it always seemed to shine right after I'd finally managed to fall asleep.

And ever, as I started awake again, the blackness of those horrible bars against the faintly lighted corridor!

And every time I started awake again, the darkness of those awful bars against the dimly lit corridor!

At last, through one of the upper windows in the outer wall, I detect the faint gray light of the coming dawn. Each time I open my eyes and sit up in bed the small piece of sky to be seen through the grated door of my cell seems a shade less dark; and at last I begin to feel that, after all, perhaps God has not forsaken the world. As the[Pg 68] sky grows still brighter, I can distinguish the green of the trees outside; and within, the blackness and the shadows gradually fade away, and the terrible oppression of the night gives place to the confidence of a new day. I listen with a relief that is almost pleasure to the familiar sounds of the six-o’clock factory whistles; and the faithful old bell which has rung for fifty years at the Osborne Works, and which I think I should recognize if I were to hear it in Central Africa.

At last, through one of the upper windows in the outer wall, I see the faint gray light of dawn approaching. Every time I open my eyes and sit up in bed, the small patch of sky visible through the grated door of my cell seems a bit less dark; and finally, I start to feel that maybe God hasn’t completely abandoned the world. As the[Pg 68] sky brightens further, I can make out the green of the trees outside; and inside, the darkness and shadows slowly diminish, and the heavy gloom of the night yields to the promise of a new day. I listen with a relief that borders on joy to the familiar sounds of the six-o’clock factory whistles; and the loyal old bell that has rung for fifty years at the Osborne Works, which I think I would still recognize even if I heard it in Central Africa.

I partially dress, and then fold up my bed and arrange the mattress and blankets over it, so as to get more room for further evolutions. The night ache in my head is rather bad at first, but cold water on my face and the back of my neck revives me greatly; and by the time my toilet is completed and I am ready for the fray, I feel more nearly like myself. Before I am fully dressed and ready, the lights are switched on, about six-thirty, I judge; and soon the sounds of keys and iron hinges and bars and bolts are heard again; and the noise of shuffling feet in the corridor below tells that the day’s routine has begun.[6]

I get partially dressed and then fold up my bed, arranging the mattress and blankets on top to create more space for my movements. The headache I have at first is quite bad, but splashing cold water on my face and the back of my neck really helps me wake up. By the time I finish getting ready, I start to feel more like myself. Before I'm fully dressed, the lights flick on around six-thirty, I think. Soon, I hear the sounds of keys, metal hinges, and bolts again, along with the shuffle of feet in the corridor below, signaling that the daily routine has begun.[6]

The first night has been worse than I expected; and I dare say it will be the worst of all, unless I[Pg 69] find the punishment cells——However, I am not yet quite certain that I shall try those.

The first night has been worse than I thought it would be; and I can say it will probably be the worst of all, unless I[Pg 69] end up in the punishment cells——However, I’m still not completely sure I want to go there.

Sufficient unto the day is the evil of the night before. I must throw off the shadows and get a fresh hold. After all, in some ways it might have been worse: the air in my cell was good; I had more blankets than I needed; my bed was not very uncomfortable; and there were no vermin. This last was really what I dreaded most. My cell is clean and well ventilated; surely those are blessings which ought to counterbalance much else.

Sufficient for today is the trouble from last night. I need to shake off the darkness and start fresh. After all, it could have been worse: the air in my cell was good; I had more blankets than I needed; my bed wasn’t too uncomfortable; and there were no pests. That was honestly my biggest fear. My cell is clean and well-ventilated; those are definitely blessings that should help balance out everything else.

So I start the new day with courage and undiminished interest in my great experiment.

So I begin the new day with confidence and a strong interest in my big experiment.


One of my fellow prisoners, whose comment I quoted in Chapter II, makes the following statement about the condition of the cells at Auburn. “The cells on the second and basement tiers smell fairly well; but in summer the stench from some of the cells is terrible.” Due, of course, to long use, no sewage, and no proper system of ventilation. In most of the cells the small square hole which opens into some crude sort of ventilating flue has long ago been plugged to prevent the inroads of vermin.

One of my fellow inmates, whose remark I mentioned in Chapter II, says the following about the state of the cells at Auburn: “The cells on the second and basement tiers smell pretty decent; but in summer the odor from some of the cells is awful.” This is, of course, due to years of use, lack of sewage, and no proper ventilation system. In many of the cells, the small square hole that connects to a makeshift ventilating flue has long been blocked off to keep out pests.

I seem to have been very fortunate in having a cell where discomfort was reduced to a minimum.

I feel like I've been really lucky to have a cell where discomfort was kept to a minimum.

The condition of some of the cells I have seen in Sing Sing Prison is unspeakably bad. They are close, dark, damp, foul. To call them unfit for human habitation is to give them undeserved dignity; they are unfit for pigs.

The condition of some of the cells I’ve seen in Sing Sing Prison is unbelievably terrible. They are cramped, dark, damp, and disgusting. To say they are unfit for human habitation is to give them more credit than they deserve; they are unfit for pigs.

 

 


CHAPTER VI

TUESDAY MORNING

 

In my cell, after dinner; Tuesday, September 30.

In my cell, after dinner; Tuesday, September 30.

At about seven o’clock this morning the long iron bar, which locks the whole tier, is raised; and the Captain pauses a moment at my cell.

At around seven o’clock this morning, the long iron bar that locks the entire level is lifted, and the Captain stops for a moment at my cell.

“Good morning, Thomas, how did you get through the night?”

“Good morning, Thomas, how did you sleep?”

“I didn’t sleep very well, sir.”

“I didn’t sleep well, sir.”

“They seldom do the first night. How are you feeling now?”

“They rarely do on the first night. How are you feeling now?”

“Well, fairly good third rate, thank you, sir.”

“Well, not bad for a third rate, thank you, sir.”

He leaves me; but soon returns along the gallery, unlocking the levers as he comes. Immediately after him walks his trusty, one of the gallery boys, pressing down the levers and letting us out of the stone caves where we have spent the long[Pg 71] night. I breathe a sigh of relief and satisfaction as I swing open the iron grating and come out upon the comparative freedom of the gallery.

He leaves me, but soon comes back down the hallway, unlocking the levers as he walks. Right behind him walks his loyal friend, one of the gallery boys, pressing down the levers and letting us out of the stone caves where we’ve spent the long[Pg 71] night. I breathe a sigh of relief and satisfaction as I swing open the iron gate and step out into the relative freedom of the gallery.

Each man grasps with his left hand the handle of his heavy iron bucket filled with the slops and sewage of the night. I do the same; and steady my steps by running my right hand along the iron rail as I hurry down the gallery after the others. It is a long journey to the farther stairs, but it is made cheerful by the smiles on the upturned faces of the prisoners in the corridor below. When I have taken my place in line at the foot of the iron stairs, I find further satisfaction in the nods and winks of encouragement from the men gathered about the doorway, at whom I glance as much as I can without turning my head. I rest my heavy bucket on the ground while waiting for the company to complete its formation, taking meanwhile deep breaths of the refreshing morning air. It is another beautiful, sunny autumn day as we look out into the yard.

Each man grips the handle of his heavy iron bucket filled with the waste from the night with his left hand. I do the same and steady myself by running my right hand along the iron rail as I hurry down the hallway after the others. It’s a long trek to the far stairs, but the smiles on the upturned faces of the prisoners in the corridor below make it better. When I take my place in line at the foot of the iron stairs, I find more satisfaction in the nods and winks of encouragement from the men gathered around the doorway, glancing at them as much as I can without turning my head. I rest my heavy bucket on the ground while waiting for everyone to line up, taking deep breaths of the refreshing morning air. It’s another beautiful, sunny autumn day as we look out into the yard.

A sharp rap of the Captain’s stick on the stone pavement, and we stand at attention, the handle of each man’s bucket in his right hand. Two more quick raps, and we “short-step” out of the building and then “full-step” down the yard. Our route is the same as that of yesterday afternoon. We meet many other companies returning. We march down to the extreme southwest corner of the prison inclosure where is the small brick[Pg 72] building which serves as a sewage disposal plant. It seems to be very well arranged for its purpose. As we reach there our ranks divide, entering by two doors, and we march through almost at full speed. I watch my comrades and do exactly as they do; remove the bucket cover upon entering the building; empty the contents into a large circular stone basin, or hopper, into which a stream of water is constantly pouring; pass on quickly to a second basin and fill my bucket at its stream of water; rinse the bucket as I walk along and discharge the contents into a third stone basin with its third stream of running water. It must be confessed that there is a minimum of smell and nastiness; but what a medieval system! The sewage of 1,400 men simply dumped into the river, which flows just outside the walls, and carried along to poison all the towns and villages downstream.

A sharp rap of the Captain’s stick on the stone pavement, and we stand at attention, each man holding the handle of his bucket in his right hand. Two more quick raps, and we “short-step” out of the building and then “full-step” down the yard. Our route is the same as yesterday afternoon. We pass many other companies coming back. We march to the furthest southwest corner of the prison where there’s a small brick[Pg 72] building that serves as a sewage disposal plant. It seems to be well arranged for its purpose. As we arrive, our ranks split, entering through two doors, and we march through almost at full speed. I watch my comrades and do exactly what they do; I remove the bucket cover as I enter the building; empty the contents into a large circular stone basin, or hopper, where a stream of water is constantly flowing; quickly move on to a second basin and fill my bucket from its stream; rinse the bucket as I walk and dump the contents into a third stone basin with its third stream of running water. I have to admit there’s minimal smell and mess; but what a medieval system! The sewage of 1,400 men is just dumped into the river, which flows right outside the walls, and carried downstream to poison all the towns and villages.

After thus emptying and rinsing the buckets we leave them to be disinfected, aired and dried, upon some wooden racks where each company has its allotted place. Then we march back up the yard, meeting many other companies laden with their buckets on the way down. The march back is very pleasant and I wish it were longer, as exercise in the fresh air and sunlight seems to soothe the tired nerves. By the time we are back at the north wing I am feeling in good condition and ravenously hungry.

After emptying and rinsing the buckets, we let them be disinfected, aired out, and dried on some wooden racks where each group has its designated spot. Then we walk back up the yard, passing many other groups heading down with their buckets. The walk back is really nice, and I wish it were longer because the exercise in the fresh air and sunlight helps calm my tired nerves. By the time we get back to the north wing, I feel great and super hungry.

[Pg 73]Arrived at the cell I have another call from Captain Lamb. I have found him very pleasant and intelligent; and his men, so far as I can yet judge, seem to like him. He has some excellent ideas, and tells me that he would like to give his company setting-up exercises as he once did; but he abandoned them as he received no encouragement; on the contrary it was considered that they were subversive of discipline. This awful fetich, discipline. We most of us do so love it—for others.

[Pg 73]When I arrived at the cell, I got another call from Captain Lamb. I've found him to be very pleasant and smart; and his men, from what I can tell so far, seem to like him. He has some great ideas and told me that he wants to give his company some setting-up exercises like he used to, but he stopped because he didn’t get any support; in fact, it was seen as undermining discipline. This terrible obsession with discipline. Most of us really love it—for other people.

Why does it not occur to somebody in authority that the first and best means of getting real discipline, in the sense of good conduct, is to give these men exercise? Here they live, standing or sitting listlessly at their work all day, and shut in their narrow cells fourteen hours at night, with no chance to work off their superfluous energies and keep themselves in proper physical condition. The result in very many cases must be steady degeneration, not only of body, but of mind and soul as well.

Why doesn’t it occur to someone in charge that the best way to achieve real discipline, meaning good behavior, is to give these men some exercise? Here they are, either standing or sitting around aimlessly at their jobs all day, then locked in their tiny cells for fourteen hours at night, with no opportunity to burn off their excess energy and maintain their physical health. The outcome in many cases has to be a steady decline, not just in their bodies, but in their minds and spirits too.

The Captain tells me that before breakfast I should clean out my cell; so after he leaves me I carry out his instructions with the assistance of the old broom in the corner. I sweep the dust out of the cell into a corner of the entrance; and the lever locks me back into the cell as I shut the door after the job is completed.

The Captain tells me that I need to clean my cell before breakfast, so after he leaves, I follow his orders using the old broom in the corner. I sweep the dust out of the cell into a corner by the entrance, and the lever locks me back in as I shut the door once I'm done.

This has not been long done before the clicking[Pg 74] of the levers begins again in the distance. Every time we march to meals the clicking begins around the corner to my left and we march to the right; every time we go to the shop the clicking begins on my right and we march to the left. I am beginning to catch on to these various complications. Also to learn the etiquette of dress. When we go to breakfast we wear coats but no caps; to the shop, both caps and coats; to dinner, neither. Waistcoats seem to depend upon the taste and fancy of the wearer. I have worn mine, so far, only in the evening—for warmth.

This hasn't been long done before the clicking[Pg 74] of the levers starts up again in the distance. Every time we walk to meals, the clicking begins around the corner to my left and we go to the right; every time we head to the shop, the clicking begins on my right and we move to the left. I'm starting to figure out these different routines. I'm also learning the dress code. When we go to breakfast, we wear coats but no caps; to the shop, we wear both caps and coats; to dinner, we wear neither. Waistcoats seem to depend on the wearer's preference. I've only worn mine in the evening so far—for warmth.

Marching to breakfast I find myself by the side of a young fellow who is conspicuous among the prisoners by the use of a blue shirt with collar and necktie. He is tall and good-looking, with an air of refinement which is appealing.

Marching to breakfast, I end up next to a young guy who stands out among the prisoners because he’s wearing a blue shirt with a collar and a necktie. He’s tall and good-looking, with a refined vibe that is appealing.

I make no breaks upon the march. I shuffle my feet along the stone corridor like the rest, as we move slowly forward; letting other companies who have the right of way go in ahead of us. Then when our turn comes we march more rapidly, changing to single file as we near the mess-room. As the Captain has directed me, I fall in behind my blue-shirted companion and have my right hand on my left breast in ample time to salute the P. K. who, as at yesterday’s dinner, stands at the entrance to the mess-hall.

I don't stop while marching. I shuffle my feet down the stone corridor like everyone else, moving slowly ahead while we let other groups with the right of way go before us. Then, when it's our turn, we pick up the pace and switch to single file as we get closer to the mess room. Following the Captain's instructions, I fall in behind my companion in the blue shirt, placing my right hand on my left chest just in time to salute the P.K., who, just like at yesterday's dinner, is standing at the entrance to the mess hall.

Arrived at my place, which is now in the center[Pg 75] of one of the long shelves or tables, I find waiting for me a large dish of oatmeal porridge, a bowl one-third full of the thinnest of skimmed milk, two thick slices of bread, and a cup of the dark fluid we had yesterday and which is supposed to be coffee, but which I learn is called “bootleg” by the prisoners—presumably because old boots is the only conceivable source of its taste and smell. Judging by the samples I’ve had, the hypothesis does not seem untenable. The taste is quite as bad as the smell, as it is drunk without milk or sugar, and there is no escape from drinking some of it, as it is the only liquid on the table. The bread is known as “punk”—a name not so strikingly appropriate as the other.

Arriving at my place, which is now in the center[Pg 75] of one of the long shelves or tables, I find a large bowl of oatmeal waiting for me, a bowl one-third full of the thinnest skim milk, two thick slices of bread, and a cup of the dark liquid we had yesterday that’s supposed to be coffee, but which the prisoners call “bootleg”—presumably because the only thing that makes sense as a source of its taste and smell is old boots. Based on what I've tasted, that theory doesn’t seem far off. The taste is just as bad as the smell since it's served without milk or sugar, and I can’t avoid drinking some, as it’s the only liquid available. The bread is referred to as “punk”—a name that isn’t as fitting as the others.

I can see no excuse for bad coffee; for good coffee can be made in large quantities, as some railroad refreshment rooms can testify. Tea is a different matter. I do not believe that good tea can be made except in small quantities. If I were to suggest to the prison authorities, it would be cocoa instead of tea, and coffee should be drinkable at least.

I can't see any reason for bad coffee since good coffee can be made in large batches, as some train station cafes can show. Tea, on the other hand, is a different story. I don't think you can make good tea except in small amounts. If I were to make a suggestion to the prison officials, it would be to serve cocoa instead of tea, and that coffee should at least be drinkable.

George, one of the gallery boys, has presented me this morning with a small package of sugar wrapped in newspaper; but, before I have a chance of deciding whether it is safe to transfer it from my pocket to the oatmeal, my friend in the blue shirt, seated on my left, slides a small yellow envelope toward me. I turn my eyes and[Pg 76] head sufficiently to see him. He is staring straight ahead of him, and without moving his lips or a muscle of his face gives a low whisper, “Sugar.” I turn back my head and in a voice as low as I can manage and with my lips moving as little as possible mutter, “Thank you.” I have had my first introduction to the motionless language of the prisoners.

George, one of the guys in the gallery, handed me a small package of sugar wrapped in newspaper this morning. But before I could figure out if it was safe to move it from my pocket to the oatmeal, my friend in the blue shirt, sitting on my left, slid a small yellow envelope toward me. I turned my eyes and[Pg 76] head enough to see him. He was staring straight ahead, and without moving his lips or a muscle in his face, whispered softly, “Sugar.” I turned back and in the quietest voice I could manage, with my lips barely moving, mumbled, “Thank you.” That was my first introduction to the silent language of the prisoners.

The sugar makes the oatmeal palatable, and I breakfast very well on that and the bread soaked in what milk I have left over from the porridge. I had forgotten the rule about no bread being left on the table until my new friend reminds me of it by pointing to my two slices and then to the approaching waiter. I promptly toss one of my slices into that functionary’s bucket as he passes by, and go on with my breakfast. I feel guilty in taking my neighbor’s sugar, when I have some of my own in my pocket, but reflect that mine can be saved for another occasion and shared with him. I find myself wondering if the sugar I’m eating has been honestly come by. Not that I suspect my blue-shirted friend of doing anything wrong; but I am quite sure that in my present condition of mind I should enjoy it better if I knew it had been stolen. I feel as though I would gladly annex almost anything from the state of New York that I could lay my hands on, provided I could do so without too much risk of getting caught. I hope it will be considered that[Pg 77] I am not now condoning dishonesty; I am merely trying to explain a state of mind.

The sugar makes the oatmeal taste good, and I have a nice breakfast with that and the bread soaked in the little milk I have left over from the porridge. I forgot the rule about not leaving bread on the table until my new friend reminds me by pointing to my two slices and then to the waiter that's coming over. I quickly toss one of my slices into the waiter’s bucket as he walks by and continue my breakfast. I feel guilty for taking my neighbor’s sugar when I have some of my own in my pocket, but I figure that mine can be saved for another time and shared with him. I find myself wondering if the sugar I’m eating was obtained honestly. Not that I suspect my blue-shirted friend of doing anything wrong, but I’m pretty sure that in my current state of mind, I would enjoy it more if I knew it had been stolen. I feel like I would gladly take almost anything from the state of New York that I could grab, as long as I could do it without too much risk of getting caught. I hope it will be considered that[Pg 77] I am not condoning dishonesty; I’m just trying to explain a state of mind.

The silent meal finished, we return to our cells, where I now have a call from my friend in the blue shirt. It seems that he is a trusty of the “box office”; and has charge of the orders for groceries and their distribution, and his name is Roger Landry. Each convict is allowed to spend three dollars a month in groceries, tobacco and other luxuries—that is if he is fortunate enough to have that amount of money to his credit. As his wages, at one cent and a half a day—the regular rate—could only amount to thirty-seven and a half cents a month, it is obvious that a prisoner must have some outside resources to allow him to spend three dollars. So the prisoners who are better off outside the prison have the luxuries when they get inside; and the poor fellow who has nothing can get nothing. It seems to be a rather literal rendering of the Scripture, “To him who hath shall be given.” Certainly from him who hath not is taken away about everything possible—his liberty, his capacity to earn money, his family, friends, and incidentally his self-respect.

The silent meal over, we head back to our cells, where I now get a call from my friend in the blue shirt. It turns out he’s in charge of the "box office" and oversees the orders for groceries and their distribution, and his name is Roger Landry. Each inmate is allowed to spend three dollars a month on groceries, tobacco, and other luxuries—if they're lucky enough to have that amount of money available. Given that his wages, at one and a half cents a day—the standard rate—would only total about thirty-seven and a half cents a month, it's clear that a prisoner needs some outside resources to be able to spend three dollars. So, inmates who are better off on the outside get to enjoy luxuries inside; meanwhile, the poor guy with nothing gets nothing. This seems to be a pretty straightforward interpretation of the Scripture, “To him who has shall be given.” Certainly, from him who has not, everything possible is taken away—his freedom, his ability to earn money, his family, friends, and, by the way, his self-respect.

The way in which a man’s family and friends are taken away seems superlatively cruel. A prisoner gets no wages for his work except his board, lodging, clothes, and the ridiculous cent[Pg 78] and a half a day. In the meantime his wife and children may be starving on the streets outside; he is powerless to help them, and can write only one letter a month. In other words, as a prisoner once said to me bitterly, “At just the time we need our friends the most, they are taken away from us. We must write our one letter a month to a wife, a mother, or some member of the family having special claim. Our friends do not hear from us; they think we are hard and do not care—we are criminals; so they drop us and we are forgotten.”[7]

The way a person's family and friends are taken away is incredibly cruel. A prisoner earns nothing for their work except for food, shelter, clothes, and a ridiculous $1.50 a day. Meanwhile, their wife and children might be starving on the streets outside; they are powerless to help and can only send one letter a month. In other words, as a prisoner once told me bitterly, “Just when we need our friends the most, they are taken away from us. We can only write one letter a month to a wife, a mother, or another family member who has a special claim. Our friends don’t hear from us; they think we are cold and don’t care—we are criminals; so they abandon us, and we are forgotten.”[7]

All this Landry explains or suggests; and as we grow confidential he tells me quite frankly of his own troubles and how he comes to be here; the mistakes he had made, his keen desire and strong intention to do better when he goes out and to make good. “My father has stuck by[Pg 79] me,” he says; “and now I intend to stick by him.”

All this Landry explains or suggests; and as we become more open, he tells me honestly about his own issues and how he ended up here; the mistakes he's made, his deep desire and strong commitment to do better when he gets out and to succeed. “My dad has supported[Pg 79] me,” he says; “and now I plan to support him.”

After about half an hour spent in the cells, from eight to eight-thirty, we are off to work. Again the keys are turned in the locks, again the clicking of the levers, again the hurried march along the gallery, again my heavy shoes clump down the iron stairs, again we form in the sunny doorway, again we march down the yard to the basket shop.

After about half an hour in the cells, from eight to eight-thirty, we head off to work. The keys are turned in the locks again, the levers click again, we quickly walk along the gallery again, my heavy shoes thud down the iron stairs again, we line up in the sunny doorway again, and we march down the yard to the basket shop.

As we break ranks my partner, Murphy, comes forward with a cheerful smile. “Well, Mr. Brown, how do you feel to-day?”

As we separate, my partner, Murphy, steps forward with a cheerful smile. “Well, Mr. Brown, how do you feel today?”

“Fine,” I respond briefly, and we step to our working table.

“Okay,” I reply shortly, and we move to our work table.

“How did you sleep?”

“How was your sleep?”

“Not very well; I kept waking up all night.”

“Not great; I kept waking up throughout the night.”

“Well, don’t worry. It’s always like that the first night; you’ll sleep better to-night.”

“Well, don’t worry. It’s always like that the first night; you’ll sleep better tonight.”

And with this comforting assurance we hang up our coats and caps and start to work.

And with this reassuring feeling, we take off our coats and hats and get to work.

The convict instructor, Stuhlmiller, comes to our table. “Well, Brown, how did you like bucket duty?”

The convict instructor, Stuhlmiller, approaches our table. “So, Brown, how did you find bucket duty?”

“Oh, I’ve had to do worse things than that,” I reply. “I don’t know that I should select that particular job from preference; but somebody has to do the cleaning up. That’s the reason I was once mayor of Auburn.”

“Oh, I’ve had to do worse things than that,” I reply. “I’m not sure I’d choose that specific job because I like it; but someone has to do the cleaning up. That’s why I was once mayor of Auburn.”

[Pg 80]The other two are greatly amused at this view of official position; and so we start pleasantly with our basket-making.

[Pg 80]The other two find this take on official positions really funny, so we happily begin our basket-making.

Before the morning has far advanced the Captain comes over to me and in a low voice asks would I like to be sent out with a gang to help move some coal. I haven’t the least idea what is involved, but I’m keen for anything. I am here to learn all I can. So I answer briefly, “Sure,” and he returns to his desk. Presently I hear the name of Brown called out with those of Murphy and eight others. Murphy says, “Come on, Brown, we’ll get some fresh air!” I start at once for the door, but Murphy pulls me back; we have to be lined up, counted, ten of us, and duly delivered to another officer who takes us in charge.

Before the morning gets too far along, the Captain comes over to me and quietly asks if I want to be sent out with a group to help move some coal. I have no idea what that involves, but I'm eager for anything. I'm here to learn as much as I can. So I reply simply, "Sure," and he heads back to his desk. Soon, I hear the name Brown called along with Murphy and eight others. Murphy says, "Come on, Brown, let's get some fresh air!" I immediately start for the door, but Murphy pulls me back; we need to line up, be counted—ten of us—and properly handed over to another officer who takes charge of us.

There are two heavy cars of coal, it seems, to be moved up grade to the coal pile; and as the prison possesses no dummy or yard engine, this has to be done by hand labor. It seems singularly unintelligent to have things so arranged; but for the present it is all the better for me, as it serves well for exercise. A block and tackle is rigged up and we have repeated tugs of war, during which I get my hands very grimy and receive a number of friendly admonitions not to work too hard. There is also the offer on the part of a pleasant young negro to lend his leather mittens.

There are two heavy coal cars that need to be moved uphill to the coal pile, and since the prison doesn’t have a dummy or yard engine, we have to do it by hand. It seems pretty careless to have it set up this way; but for now, it actually works out better for me since it gives me some good exercise. A block and tackle is set up, and we have several rounds of tug-of-war, during which my hands get really dirty and I get a lot of friendly advice not to overdo it. A nice young guy offers to lend me his leather mittens, too.

“Thank you,” I say, “but I think you need[Pg 81] them more than I do.” (It was stupid of me not to give him the satisfaction of doing this slight service.)

“Thank you,” I say, “but I think you need[Pg 81] them more than I do.” (It was foolish of me not to give him the satisfaction of doing this small favor.)

The men on the coal gang, in view of their heavy and disagreeable work, are allowed to talk, it seems; and they certainly make good use of this privilege. There were several negroes among the lot, and they kept us all in roars of laughter. In fact it was as cheery and jolly a lot of fellows as one could find, joking about their work, and about their breakfast, and joshing each other in the best of tempers. While we were waiting to get things arranged for the second car, one of the men who works in our shop good naturedly disposed of much of his week’s allowance of chewing tobacco to the crowd.

The guys on the coal crew, considering their tough and unpleasant job, are allowed to talk, and it looks like they really take advantage of that. There were several Black men in the group, and they had us all laughing out loud. Honestly, it was one of the most cheerful and fun groups of guys you could meet, making jokes about their work, their breakfast, and teasing each other in great spirits. While we were waiting to organize things for the second car, one of the guys who works in our shop generously shared a lot of his week’s supply of chewing tobacco with the crowd.

During all these proceedings I stick pretty close to Murphy, both that I may make no mistakes, and because I am already getting to have a great liking for my sturdy partner. Yesterday I was on my guard with him and I think he was quietly sizing me up; but to-day there is an absence of restraint and a pleasant feeling of comradeship growing up between us, which is not lessened by the discovery that we both like fresh air and exercise. Poor fellow! he gets little enough of either. The forty minutes spent in the vigorous tugs of war with the coal cars start an agreeable glow of health and spirits in both of us.

During all these events, I stay close to Murphy, both to avoid making mistakes and because I’m starting to really like my tough partner. Yesterday, I was cautious around him, and I think he was quietly assessing me; but today, there’s a lack of tension and a nice sense of friendship developing between us, which is only enhanced by the fact that we both enjoy fresh air and exercise. Poor guy! He doesn’t get nearly enough of either. The forty minutes spent in the intense struggle with the coal cars brings a nice boost of health and good vibes for both of us.

After the coal job is finished I am for going[Pg 82] back at once to the shop, which is close at hand, but Murphy halts me again. “Hold on, Brown, we can’t go back just yet.” It seems that we must again line up and be counted; then we are escorted by the officer temporarily in charge of us back into the shop, where we are once more counted before we return to our regular places.

After the coal job is done, I’m ready to head back to the shop, which is nearby, but Murphy stops me again. “Wait, Brown, we can’t go back just yet.” Apparently, we need to line up and be counted again; then we are taken by the officer in charge back into the shop, where we are counted once more before returning to our usual spots.

In order to make up for lost time Murphy and I work steadily on our basket bottoms; he suggesting that we each watch the other’s work, to see whether we are keeping the sides even. A mistake is easier to notice across the table than in your own work closer at hand. My fault seems to be to pull the withes too tight, making the sides somewhat concave; while Murphy has just the opposite fault—he makes his sides too convex. So I watch his work and he watches mine, and all things go on very agreeably.

To make up for lost time, Murphy and I work steadily on our basket bottoms. He suggests that we each keep an eye on the other's work to see if we're keeping the sides even. It's easier to spot a mistake from across the table than in your own work up close. My issue seems to be pulling the rods too tight, which makes the sides a bit concave, while Murphy has the opposite problem—his sides are too convex. So, I watch his work and he watches mine, and everything goes along very smoothly.

At one stage in the morning’s proceedings I forget where I am, for the moment, and begin to whistle; but a swift and warning look from Murphy startles me into silence.

At one point during the morning's events, I lose track of my surroundings for a moment and start to whistle, but a quick, warning glance from Murphy jolts me back to silence.

“Look out,” he warns me, “whistling’s not allowed. You’ll get punished if you ain’t careful.”

“Watch out,” he warns me, “whistling isn’t allowed. You’ll get in trouble if you’re not careful.”

“Is a whistling prisoner worse than a whistling girl?” I ask; but I see that my partner is not acquainted with the proverb, so I repeat it to him:

“Is a whistling prisoner worse than a whistling girl?” I ask; but I see that my partner doesn't know the saying, so I repeat it to him:

“Whistling girls, like crowing hens,
Always come to some bad ends.”

“Girls who whistle, like hens that crow,
Always end up in trouble.”

[Pg 83]He is much amused at this sentiment, despite its imperfect rhyme, and asks me to repeat it so that he can learn it.

[Pg 83]He finds this sentiment quite amusing, even though the rhyme isn't perfect, and asks me to say it again so he can memorize it.

As we are working busily away, I perceive a sudden commotion over at the western end of the shop. One of the poor old prisoners, those mournful wrecks of humanity of which our company has its full share, has fainted, and lies cold and white on the stone floor. It is pleasant to see how tenderly those about him go to his help, raise the poor old fellow, seat him in one of the rough chairs—the best the shop affords—and bathe his forehead with cold water. It is also pleasant to hear the words of sympathy which are passed along from one to another.

As we’re working hard, I notice a sudden stir at the west end of the shop. One of the unfortunate old prisoners, those sad figures our company has plenty of, has fainted and lies cold and pale on the stone floor. It’s nice to see how gently those around him rush to help, lift the poor guy, sit him in one of the rough chairs—the best the shop has—and cool his forehead with cold water. It’s also heartwarming to hear the words of sympathy that get shared among everyone.

In due time a litter is brought; the pitiful fragment of humanity is placed gently upon it, and is carried out of the shop into which he will probably never return. The look on his face is one not easy to forget, in its white stare of patient suffering. It seemed to typify long years of stolid endurance until the worn-out old frame had simply crumbled under the accumulated load.

In time, a stretcher is brought; the sad remnant of a person is carefully placed on it and taken out of the shop where he likely will never come back. The expression on his face is hard to forget, with its pale gaze of quiet pain. It seemed to represent many years of unyielding endurance until the exhausted body finally gave in to the weight of everything it had carried.

There may be another lonely deathbed in the hospital to-night. No wife or child, no friend of any sort to smooth the pillow or to close the eyes. Alas, the pity of it!

There might be another lonely deathbed in the hospital tonight. No wife or child, no friend at all to adjust the pillow or close the eyes. How sad it is!

But the sight is evidently no new one to my comrades. A few minutes only and the shadow[Pg 84] has passed. There is even apparent an air of anxiety lest we dwell too much on the mournful episode. It will not do to think of death here; anything—anything but that!

But this scene is clearly not new to my friends. Just a few minutes have gone by, and the shadow[Pg 84] has already moved on. There's even a noticeable sense of worry that we might linger too much on the sad event. We can't think about death here; anything—anything but that!

It must be at about half-past eleven that a certain air of restlessness pervading the shop shows that dinner time is approaching. Murphy goes for his soap and towel. “Come on, Brown, and wash up.”

It must be around 11:30 that a certain restlessness in the shop indicates that dinner time is near. Murphy grabs his soap and towel. “Come on, Brown, wash up.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot and left my soap and towel in my cell.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot to grab my soap and towel from my cell.”

“Well, never mind, come and use mine.”

“Well, never mind, come use mine.”

So, raising my hand for the Captain’s permission to leave my place, I join Murphy at the sink, and again we use his soap and towel in common. My partner’s treatment of me is certainly very satisfactory; there is just enough of an air of protection suitable for a man who knows the ropes to show toward his partner who does not, combined with an open-hearted deference to an older man of wider experience that somehow is extraordinarily pleasant.

So, raising my hand to ask the Captain for permission to leave my spot, I join Murphy at the sink, and we again share his soap and towel. My partner treats me quite well; there’s just enough of a protective vibe from someone who knows the ropes towards a partner who doesn’t, mixed with a genuine respect for an older guy with more experience that is just really nice.

Before going back to the cell-house we march first to the place where we left the buckets this morning before breakfast. Each man secures his own bucket, which is marked with the number of his cell; then we go swinging up the yard, break ranks at the side door of the north wing, up the stairs, traverse the long gallery, and so to my[Pg 85] cell around the corner. It begins to have a certain homelike association; but I do dislike having to close the grated door and lock myself in every time.

Before heading back to the cell-house, we first walk to the spot where we left the buckets this morning before breakfast. Each man grabs his own bucket, which is labeled with his cell number; then we swing up the yard, break formation at the side door of the north wing, go up the stairs, walk through the long gallery, and arrive at my[Pg 85] cell around the corner. It’s starting to feel a bit like home, but I really dislike having to close the grated door and lock myself in every time.

The gallery boy has been most attentive. I find a rack for my towels and a mirror added to the cell equipment; also he has promised me a better electric light bulb. There are two gallery boys, I find; one is George, the other is Joe. George is Captain Lamb’s trusty, and serves in the shop as well as the gallery. He has been the one who has added my new furnishings. Joe I see only when I am in my cell; and I do not know where he works. He brings me water and has been most genial.

The gallery boy has been really attentive. I have a rack for my towels and a mirror added to the cell's furnishings; he's also promised me a better light bulb. I’ve discovered that there are two gallery boys; one is George and the other is Joe. George is Captain Lamb’s right-hand man and works in both the shop and the gallery. He’s the one who arranged my new items. I only see Joe when I'm in my cell, and I don’t know where he works. He brings me water and has been very friendly.

There seems to be about half an hour at noon between the shop and the mess-hall. As soon as I am back in my cell I remove my cap and coat and “slick up” for dinner. Then I chat with any of the trusties that happen to drift along to my cell. One of them brings me a book which a prisoner on our gallery is sending to me. It is Victor Hugo’s “Ninety-Three.” Opening it I find a note. The writer begins by saying that he had found the book interesting and hoped I would, and then adds, “Some of the guards laughed at you when you passed this morning. I know it is a hard proposition you are up against; but say, stick it out! I only wish I could help[Pg 86] you, and I am voicing the sentiments of all the boys who work in the school.”

There seems to be about half an hour between the shop and the mess hall at noon. As soon as I get back to my cell, I take off my cap and coat and get ready for dinner. Then I chat with any of the trusties that happen to stop by. One of them brings me a book that a prisoner on our gallery is sending me. It’s Victor Hugo’s “Ninety-Three.” When I open it, I find a note. The writer starts by saying that he found the book interesting and hoped I would too, then adds, “Some of the guards laughed at you when you passed this morning. I know it’s a tough situation you’re in, but hang in there! I just wish I could help[Pg 86] you, and I’m echoing the feelings of all the guys who work in the school.”

Generous in him to run the risk of punishment in order to send me this word of encouragement.

Generous of him to take the risk of punishment just to send me this word of encouragement.

We march to dinner in the same order as at breakfast, and I find myself again next to the blue-shirted Landry. I like his looks and his personality. It is curious how one can get an effect of that, even under the rigid and unnatural demeanor which the discipline engenders. There is a dapper little chap who leads the right line of our company to whose back I have taken a great liking; some day I hope to get acquainted with his face.

We walk to dinner in the same order as breakfast, and I find myself next to Landry in the blue shirt again. I like how he looks and his personality. It's interesting how you can get a sense of that, even with the strict and unnatural behavior that discipline brings. There's a sharp-looking guy leading the right line of our group whose back I've really taken a liking to; I hope to finally see his face someday.

Our dinner is mutton stew, which is really good. I had been told at the shop in the morning what the bill of fare would be; for as one week’s dietary is exactly the same as all other weeks, you can calculate with accuracy upon every meal. I eat my dinner with peculiar relish after our morning struggle with the coal car.

Our dinner is mutton stew, which is really good. I was told at the shop in the morning what the menu would be; since one week’s meals are exactly the same as the next, you can accurately predict every dish. I enjoy my dinner with a special appreciation after our morning battle with the coal car.

Arrived back at the cell, Joe, the other gallery boy, stops to chat, after he has dispensed water along the tier. “Say, Brown,” he begins, “do you know after the talk you give us up in chapel on Sunday there was some of us didn’t believe you really meant to come down and live with us. Then they thought if you did come you’d manage to get up to the Warden’s quarters for supper and[Pg 87] a bed. But, say, when the boys see you marchin’ down with your bucket this mornin’—they knew you meant business!”

Arriving back at the cell, Joe, the other gallery boy, stops to chat after he’s finished delivering water along the tier. “Hey, Brown,” he starts, “did you know that after your talk in chapel on Sunday, some of us didn’t believe you actually wanted to come down and live with us? Then they thought that if you did come, you’d somehow end up at the Warden’s quarters for dinner and[Pg 87] a bed. But, when the boys saw you walking down with your bucket this morning—they knew you were serious!”

Then the youngster puts his face up close to the bars, squints through them admiringly, looks me all up and down from head to foot, and breaks out with: “Gee! You’re a dead game sport!”

Then the kid puts his face up close to the bars, squints through them admiringly, looks me up and down from head to toe, and says: “Wow! You’re such a good sport!”

On the whole I think that’s by far the finest compliment I ever had in my life.

Overall, I think that’s definitely the best compliment I've ever received in my life.

 

 


CHAPTER VII

TUESDAY AFTERNOON AND EVENING

 

In my cell, Tuesday evening, September 30.

In my cell, Tuesday evening, September 30.

Laying aside my journal this noon, I don my coat and cap and stand ready at the cell door. The Captain passes by, unlocking the levers; then repasses, pushing them down, and I am ready to fall in line as usual; but one of the gray figures stops suddenly and whispers to me, “Your cup! You’ve forgotten your cup!” So I create a momentary halt and confusion in the gallery as I dash back into the cell to get my tin cup and out again, leaving it on the shelf at the entrance. We traverse the gallery, descend the iron stairs, line up at the door, march first slowly then rapidly down the yard, through the sewage disposal building to the bucket stands; and so to the basket-shop again.

Putting my journal aside this afternoon, I put on my coat and cap and stand by the cell door, ready. The Captain walks by, unlocking the levers; then comes back, pushing them down, and I get ready to line up as usual. But one of the gray figures suddenly stops and whispers to me, “Your cup! You forgot your cup!” So I create a brief pause and some confusion in the gallery as I rush back into the cell to grab my tin cup and hurry back out, leaving it on the shelf at the entrance. We move through the gallery, go down the iron stairs, line up at the door, and march first slowly then quickly down the yard, through the sewage disposal building to the bucket stands; and then to the basket shop again.

“Well, Brown, how did you enjoy your dinner,[Pg 89] good?” This question is my partner’s afternoon greeting.

“Well, Brown, how did you enjoy your dinner,[Pg 89] good?” This question is my partner’s afternoon greeting.

“Good! I should say it was! I’d like to tackle another car of coal this afternoon to give me such an appetite. No, on second thoughts, not this afternoon—to-morrow morning. I don’t think I’d better get up much of an appetite with nothing but bread and water ahead of me.”

“Good! I should say it was! I’d like to tackle another load of coal this afternoon to give me such an appetite. No, on second thought, not this afternoon—tomorrow morning. I don’t think it’s a good idea to work up too much of an appetite with nothing but bread and water waiting for me.”

Murphy laughs. “Well, we’ve got two bottoms each to do this afternoon, to make up for our exercise this morning; so we must hustle up and get ’em done.”

Murphy laughs. “Well, we’ve got two sets of squats to do this afternoon to make up for our workout this morning, so we need to hurry up and get them done.”

So we both start basket-making; he joking at my efforts to keep up with him, and I, in a futile attempt to do so, “working like a race-horse,” as he expresses it. With pleasant chat the time passes quickly. The strangeness of my situation is beginning to wear away; and the men are getting over their aloofness as they see that, in Joe’s words, I mean business; and also see how well I get along with my partner and my boss. The latter, the smiling Stuhlmiller, drops round to our table frequently; makes valuable and friendly criticism and suggestion as to my work, by which I try to profit; and incidentally tells many things which both directly and indirectly throw valuable light upon the life here. As a workman I must pay my tribute of admiration to Stuhlmiller; his small, delicate hands with strong, pliable fingers are made for craftsmanship. It gives positive [Pg 90]delight to see him take hold of the weaving, to show me or someone else how it should be done. There are the elements of the real artist of some sort in that chap. What a pity to have these rare qualities wasted in prison!

So we both start making baskets; he jokes about my efforts to keep up with him, and I, in a pointless attempt to do so, “work like a racehorse,” as he puts it. With friendly conversation, time flies by. The oddness of my situation is starting to fade, and the guys are warming up to me as they see that, in Joe’s words, I’m serious about this; they also notice how well I get along with my partner and my boss. The latter, the cheerful Stuhlmiller, stops by our table often; he offers helpful and friendly feedback and suggestions about my work, which I try to take to heart; and he casually shares many things that, both directly and indirectly, shed valuable light on life here. As a worker, I have to admire Stuhlmiller; his small, delicate hands with strong, flexible fingers are perfect for craftsmanship. It’s genuinely [Pg 90]delightful to watch him take hold of the weaving, showing me or someone else how it should be done. There are definite elements of a true artist in that guy. What a shame to see such rare qualities wasted in prison!

In the course of the afternoon a party of visitors is shown through the shop by the Warden in person. It is only this evening that I have learned all the facts of this incident, as I was so busy working that I never noticed the party at all; although they walked by, only a few feet away, passing directly between me and the keeper. This is the story as I get it first hand, from the Warden himself.

In the afternoon, the Warden personally shows a group of visitors around the shop. I only found out about this incident tonight because I was so focused on my work that I didn't notice the group at all, even though they walked right by me, just a few feet away, moving directly between me and the keeper. Here’s the story I gathered straight from the Warden himself.

It seems that some newspaper men from New York were in town to-day and were most anxious to see Tom Brown at work. The strict order that everything at the prison was to go on exactly as usual forbade their interviewing me, or even having me pointed out; but there was nothing to prevent their being shown over the prison in the ordinary way. The Warden, who had returned from Albany, thinking he would like to take the opportunity of himself seeing his “new boarder” at work, offered to conduct them. So down through the yard they all came and in due course reached the basket-shop.

It looks like some reporters from New York were in town today and were really eager to see Tom Brown in action. The strict rule that everything in the prison was supposed to continue as normal prevented them from interviewing me or even identifying me, but there was nothing stopping them from being shown around the prison like everyone else. The Warden, who had just come back from Albany, thought it would be a good chance to see his “new boarder” working, so he offered to give them a tour. They all made their way through the yard and eventually reached the basket shop.

“This is the place where Tom Brown is working,” remarked the Warden; “but, gentlemen,[Pg 91] please remember you are not to speak to him or even seem to give him special notice.”

“This is where Tom Brown is working,” said the Warden; “but, gentlemen,[Pg 91] please remember not to talk to him or even act like you’re giving him special attention.”

So they entered the shop and leisurely made their way through; the Warden exchanging a word or two with the Captain as he went by, and all of them looking curiously at the various basket-makers within sight.

So they walked into the shop and casually made their way through; the Warden chatted briefly with the Captain as he passed, and everyone looked curiously at the different basket-makers they could see.

After they had passed out of the shop at the farther end, one of the visitors said,

After they had left the shop at the far end, one of the visitors said,

“But, Warden, I didn’t see him.”

“But, Warden, I didn't see him.”

“Neither did we,” chimed in the rest.

“Neither did we,” the others replied.

“Well, gentlemen,” laughed the Warden, “this is certainly one on me; for I looked everywhere and I couldn’t find him myself.”

“Well, guys,” laughed the Warden, “this is definitely on me; because I looked everywhere and I couldn’t find him either.”

It was true; the whole party had passed within twenty feet of me, and not one of them—not even my intimate friend—had recognized me.

It was true; the entire party had walked within twenty feet of me, and not a single one of them—not even my close friend—had recognized me.

“But I’m very sure he’s there,” continued the Warden; “at any rate I can verify it at my office.”

“But I’m pretty sure he’s there,” the Warden continued; “either way, I can confirm it at my office.”

So they returned to the main building and found out, sure enough, that Thomas Brown was duly registered in the basket-shop.

So they went back to the main building and discovered, as expected, that Thomas Brown was officially registered in the basket shop.

Two of the visitors insisted upon returning; they had known me very well by sight and were sure they could find me out. So back they came to the shop, and this time I noticed them.

Two of the visitors insisted on coming back; they recognized me well enough and were sure they could track me down. So they returned to the shop, and this time I noticed them.

“I wonder who those guys are, rubbering around?” is my remark to Murphy, speaking in the vernacular, as we are working away. I was[Pg 92] taking good care not to stare hard at them in my turn.

“I wonder who those guys are, just hanging around?” I say to Murphy, using casual language, as we work. I was[Pg 92] making sure not to look at them too closely in return.

“They’re not looking at you, anyhow,” is Murphy’s report. I steal another glance and catch an intent, searching look from one of the visitors. I am just finishing off a basket bottom and have on eyeglasses of unusual shape—rather too fine for Tom Brown. I fear that the visitor may have spotted these. However, I return his stare insolently, with as much of the air of an old timer as I can muster on the spur of the moment. At the same instant I whisper some joke over to Murphy that makes him smile; and the guy moves on, staring at others of my shopmates in their turn.

“They're not looking at you, anyway,” Murphy says. I take another quick glance and catch an intense, searching look from one of the visitors. I’m just finishing off a basket bottom and wearing these unusually shaped glasses—way too fancy for Tom Brown. I worry that the visitor might have noticed them. Still, I return his gaze defiantly, trying to throw in as much of an old-timer vibe as I can manage on the spot. At the same time, I whisper a joke to Murphy that makes him smile; then the guy moves on, staring at some of my coworkers in turn.

“I guess he was after me, all right,” I remark to my partner, “and I’m afraid these infernal specs may have given me away.”

“I guess he was after me, for sure,” I say to my partner, “and I’m worried these annoying glasses might have revealed my identity.”

As a matter of fact the two visitors returned from the basket-shop again disappointed. One of them thought he had seen Tom Brown, but wasn’t quite sure. My identity seems to be sufficiently merged—so far as outsiders are concerned.

As a matter of fact, the two visitors came back from the basket shop feeling disappointed again. One of them thought he had seen Tom Brown, but wasn’t completely sure. My identity seems to be mixed up enough—at least in the eyes of outsiders.

Toward the close of the afternoon my talk with my partner becomes more serious. In spite of the rules, newspapers seem to circulate here and are precious in proportion to their rarity. Some one hands a paper to Murphy, who passes it[Pg 93] over to me; and I, after glancing over it, hand it back to him to be returned. The editor of this particular sheet, in commenting upon my adventure, expressed doubt as to the possibility of “the amateur convict” being able to get hold of the real life of the prison. This view makes me smile, under the circumstances, and I ask Murphy what he thinks about it. His reply is that there is no doubt of my being able to get all I want, and getting it straight.

Towards the end of the afternoon, my conversation with my partner gets more serious. Despite the rules, newspapers seem to circulate here and are valuable because they're rare. Someone hands a paper to Murphy, who then passes it[Pg 93] to me; after glancing at it, I return it to him to pass back. The editor of this particular paper, while commenting on my experience, questioned whether “the amateur convict” could really grasp the true life of the prison. This perspective makes me smile, given the situation, and I ask Murphy what he thinks about it. His response is that there's no doubt I can get everything I need, and that I’ll get it straight.

“Well, I want to know all there is,” I lightly rejoin, “and I’m thinking of breaking the rules in some way before I get out of here, so as to be sent down to the punishment cells.”

“Well, I want to know everything,” I reply casually, “and I’m considering bending the rules a bit before I leave this place, just to get sent down to the punishment cells.”

A look of genuine concern comes over my partner’s face, and his voice sinks to an awestruck whisper. “Do you mean the jail?” he asks.

A look of real concern appears on my partner's face, and his voice drops to a shocked whisper. "Are you talking about the jail?" he asks.

“Yes,” I answer; “I want to learn everything possible about this place, so I think I may as well spend at least one night in jail.”

“Yes,” I reply; “I want to learn everything I can about this place, so I guess I might as well spend at least one night in jail.”

“Well, you’d better be careful.” My partner speaks slowly and impressively. There can be no doubt of his sincerity; a glance at his earnest, troubled face settles that. “I went down to that place once,” he continues; “and I want to tell you—after eight hours of it I just caved right in! I told them that they could do anything they liked with me.”

“Well, you’d better be careful.” My partner speaks slowly and seriously. There’s no doubt about how sincere he is; a look at his earnest, worried face confirms that. “I went to that place once,” he goes on; “and I want you to know—after eight hours of it, I just broke down! I told them they could do whatever they wanted with me.”

“Was it so very bad?” I ask.

“Was it really that bad?” I ask.

“Well, my advice to you is to give it a wide[Pg 94] berth,” is his evasive answer. Then there is silence between us for a moment, and when he begins again it is evident that his thoughts have turned into a still more serious channel. “Yes, you can learn a great deal, but let me tell you this, Brown: no one can realize what this place really is like, until—until—well, until there is someone he cares about who is sick and he can’t get away.” There is a tremor in his voice. Poor fellow! The Chaplain told me last night that Murphy had recently lost his mother and felt her death very deeply.

“Well, my advice to you is to steer clear of it,” is his vague response. Then there’s a pause between us for a moment, and when he speaks again, it’s clear his thoughts have taken a much more serious turn. “Yes, you can learn a lot, but let me tell you this, Brown: no one can truly understand what this place is like until—until—well, until there’s someone they care about who is sick and they can’t get away.” There’s a quiver in his voice. Poor guy! The Chaplain told me last night that Murphy had recently lost his mother and is struggling with her death.

This talk occurs at the end of the day’s work when we are waiting for the Captain’s signal of return, and Murphy is sitting on the edge of the table talking quietly, turning his head away from the Captain and toward me as I stand on my regular side of the table.

This conversation happens at the end of the workday while we're waiting for the Captain to signal his return. Murphy is sitting on the edge of the table, speaking softly, turning his head away from the Captain and towards me as I stand in my usual spot at the table.

I place a hand on my partner’s broad shoulder. “Yes,” I say, “it must indeed be terrible in such a case.”

I put a hand on my partner’s broad shoulder. “Yeah,” I say, “it must really be awful in that situation.”

“Oh, nobody can know how bad it is,” he goes on, my evident sympathy opening up the depths. “My mother was sick in the hospital, very sick, and I knew that she was going to die; and I—and I couldn’t get to her. Oh God! if they could only have let me go! I’d have come back! I’d have come back. Honest I would. And now—and now——”

“Oh, nobody can understand how bad it is,” he continues, my clear sympathy uncovering his emotions. “My mom was really sick in the hospital, very sick, and I knew she was going to die; and I—and I couldn’t get to her. Oh God! if only they could have let me go! I would have come back! I would have come back. I swear I would. And now—and now——”

“Yes,” I say, “I understand. And I know[Pg 95] myself what it means. It’s something we never get over—in prison or out.”

“Yes,” I say, “I get it. And I know[Pg 95] what it means. It’s something we never move past—whether we're in prison or not.”

For a moment I fear that he is going to break down; but he is strong and schooled in self-repression, and quickly regains control of himself. To give him time I tell him something of my own experience; and he grasps my hand fervently. Whatever may come out of my prison experiment, I have made at least one warm friend in Jack Murphy. The barriers are down between us two at least. Death, for all its cruelty, is after all the one great unifying force; it forges the one great bond of human brotherhood.

For a moment, I worry that he’s going to lose it, but he’s strong and good at holding himself together, and he quickly regains his composure. To give him some time, I share a bit of my own experience, and he grabs my hand passionately. No matter what happens with my prison experiment, I’ve at least made one close friend in Jack Murphy. The walls are down between us, at least. Death, despite its harshness, is ultimately the one big unifying force; it creates the strong bond of human brotherhood.

As I have said, this last talk takes place toward the end of the afternoon. Before it occurred Jack had said, “Now it’s my turn to sweep up to-night.” And he proceeded to do it, while I took a bit of exercise, walking up and down the short space permitted by the rules—about ten steps each way across and back.

As I mentioned, this last conversation happens in the late afternoon. Before it took place, Jack said, “Now it’s my turn to clean up tonight.” He then started doing it while I got some exercise, walking back and forth across the limited space allowed by the rules—about ten steps in each direction.

The order comes to fall in. “Well, good night, Brown!” “Good night, Jack!” and off we go; first back to the bucket stands, for the benefit of those who did their housecleaning this afternoon instead of this morning. Then we march up through the yard to the main building, where, with the others, I snatch my slice of bread, mount the iron stairs, traverse the gallery, and lock myself in my cell for the night.

The order comes to line up. “Well, goodnight, Brown!” “Goodnight, Jack!” and off we go; first back to the bucket stands, for the benefit of those who did their cleaning this afternoon instead of this morning. Then we walk through the yard to the main building, where, along with the others, I grab my slice of bread, climb the iron stairs, walk through the hallway, and lock myself in my cell for the night.

[Pg 96]Captain Lamb comes to bid me good-bye. He is off on his vacation to-morrow and his place is to be filled temporarily by one of the night officers. I am sorry to have him go as I have taken a liking to him and wanted to discuss with him further his views on the Prison Problem. However, I shall be interested to find out how we get along with his successor.

[Pg 96]Captain Lamb comes to say goodbye. He’s leaving for his vacation tomorrow, and one of the night officers will temporarily take his place. I’m sorry to see him go because I’ve come to like him and wanted to talk more about his thoughts on the Prison Problem. Still, I'm curious to see how we get along with his replacement.

The armchair, which George has secured for me in place of the stool, is unfortunately much too large for the cell. When my shelf table is hooked up there is not room enough for the chair to be placed anywhere conveniently. When I sit back in it my head bumps against the locker; and how I’m going to manage when the bed is let down I don’t know. The chair is not my only acquisition; when I came in to-night I found three tempting apples on the shelf above my door. I suspect my friend in the blue shirt, who asked me this noon if I didn’t want an apple, as his Captain had given him some. I shall save them for to-morrow, although I find my bread and water rather tasteless and unsatisfactory to-night.

The armchair that George got for me instead of the stool is unfortunately way too big for the cell. When my shelf table is set up, there’s not enough room for the chair to be placed anywhere practical. When I lean back in it, my head hits the locker; and I have no idea how I’m going to manage when the bed is pulled down. The chair isn't my only find; when I came in tonight, I found three tempting apples on the shelf above my door. I suspect my friend in the blue shirt, who asked me earlier today if I wanted an apple since his Captain had given him some. I’ll save them for tomorrow, even though I find my bread and water pretty tasteless and unsatisfying tonight.

The evening wears along. I do not know now just what time it is, but somewhere between seven and eight. We have had the twenty minutes of music, beginning again with the sweet strains of the Mendelssohn Spring Song, into which the other instruments rudely break. My unknown[Pg 97] musician plays other good selections, all with equal skill and feeling, so far as I can tell through the din. At the present moment everything is quiet along the corridors, except the inexplicable clicking or tapping I heard last evening and wondered whether it was telegraphic in character. One of the night officers, who has just paid me a friendly call and chatted at some length, tells me that it is caused by the endeavors of the men in the cells to strike sparks with flint and steel—owing to their monthly supply of matches having given out. As the monthly supply of each man is only one box, I am not surprised at the number of clicks that I hear. A cigarette smoker might easily use up one box in a day—let alone a month.[8]

The evening drags on. I can’t tell exactly what time it is, but it’s somewhere between seven and eight. We’ve had twenty minutes of music, starting again with the lovely notes of Mendelssohn’s Spring Song, which gets interrupted by the other instruments. My unknown[Pg 97] musician plays other great pieces, all with similar skill and emotion, at least as far as I can tell amid the noise. Right now, everything is quiet in the hallways, except for the strange clicking or tapping I heard last night and wondered if it was telegraphic. One of the night officers, who just stopped by to chat for a while, told me that it’s the sound of the guys in the cells trying to create sparks with flint and steel—since their monthly supply of matches has run out. Given that each man only gets one box a month, I’m not surprised by how many clicks I hear. A cigarette smoker could easily go through one box in a day—let alone a month.[8]

[Pg 98]It is very curious the difference between last evening and this in my feelings. Then I was so excited that each noise got on my nerves. To-night I am quiet; and I think sleep will come more easily and stay longer. Perhaps I can even slumber through the visits of the watchman with his electric bull’s-eye.

[Pg 98]It’s interesting how different I feel between last night and tonight. Last night, I was so anxious that every little sound bothered me. Tonight, I’m calm, and I think sleep will come more easily and last longer. Maybe I can even sleep through the rounds of the watchman with his electric flashlight.

At this point I was interrupted by the Warden and Grant, who have just paid me a long call. As I feel even more possessed with the desire to talk than I did last night, I could hardly bear to let them go. They came up to the entrance of my cell very quietly so as not to attract attention, and I was taken almost by surprise when I heard their voices. I had rather expected a visit from the Warden this evening, but knew nothing for certain.

At this point, I was interrupted by the Warden and Grant, who had just come by for a long visit. Since I feel even more eager to talk than I did last night, I could hardly stand the thought of letting them leave. They approached the entrance of my cell quietly to avoid drawing attention, and I was caught off guard when I heard their voices. I was somewhat expecting a visit from the Warden this evening, but I didn't know for sure.

“Well, how are you coming on?” is the first question.

“Well, how’s it going?” is the first question.

“Fine!”

"Okay!"

“How are you feeling?”

"How's it going?"

“First rate!”

“Top-notch!”

“How do you like your job?”

“How do you feel about your job?”

“Couldn’t ask anything better.”

“Couldn’t ask for anything better.”

“How do the men treat you?”

“How do the guys treat you?”

“As fine a lot of fellows as I was ever thrown with.”

"As great a group of guys as I've ever been around."

The Warden and Grant stifle their laughter.

The Warden and Grant hold back their laughter.

“Well,” I remark, “I suppose it does sound[Pg 99] rather funny, but I mean it. I wouldn’t ask for any better treatment than I’m getting. The men are certainly acting like gentlemen. They are doing just what I asked of them—treating me exactly like one of themselves; and as for my partner, Murphy, we’re the very best of friends. He’s a fine fellow. But look here,” I continue, “I’m making no kick, and I’m perfectly satisfied where I am; but what was the reason for the change of plan? Why didn’t the P. K. put me where we had decided? When shall I be placed with that tough bunch?”

“Well,” I say, “I guess it does sound[Pg 99] kind of funny, but I really mean it. I wouldn’t ask for any better treatment than what I’m getting. The guys are definitely acting like gentlemen. They’re doing exactly what I asked—treating me just like one of them; and as for my partner, Murphy, we’re the best of friends. He’s a great guy. But listen,” I go on, “I’m not complaining, and I’m completely satisfied where I am; but what was the reason for the change in plans? Why didn’t the P. K. put me where we had agreed? When will I be with that tough crowd?”

This time my two visitors cannot control their amusement; they laugh loudly.

This time, my two visitors can't hold back their laughter; they laugh out loud.

“Why,” says the Warden, as soon as he can catch his breath, “you are with the tough bunch!”

“Why,” says the Warden, as soon as he can catch his breath, “you’re with the tough crowd!”

“Oh, come off! you know what I mean, the Idle Company that I was to be placed with for the first day or two.”

“Oh, come on! You know what I mean, the Idle Company that I was supposed to be with for the first day or two.”

“You’re with the Idle Company,” explains the Warden; “only they’re not idle any longer, they’ve been put to work. It is the same one where we planned for you to begin.”

“You’re with the Idle Company,” the Warden explains; “but they’re not idle anymore, they’ve been put to work. It’s the same one where we planned for you to start.”

I was never more surprised; but in order to turn the joke on them I assume the toughest manner at my disposal and say, “Gee! Did you think I wasn’t wise? I was only kiddin’ youse guys! But take this from me—straight. If we’re the toughest bunch in this stir the other guys must be skypilots, all right!”

I was never more surprised; but to flip the joke on them, I put on my toughest expression and say, “Wow! Did you really think I wasn’t onto you? I was just messing with you guys! But listen to me—seriously. If we’re the toughest crew in this place, then the other guys must be total pushovers, for sure!”

[Pg 100]“Well, he seems to be getting some of the lingo down pretty fine,” is Grant’s quiet comment; and then we turn seriously to the events of the day, to my health and other matters. The Warden describes his visit to the shop with the newspaper men, and the failure of all concerned, including himself, to recognize me.

[Pg 100]“Well, he seems to have picked up some of the lingo pretty well,” is Grant’s quiet comment; and then we focus seriously on the events of the day, my health, and other matters. The Warden explains his visit to the shop with the newspaper people and how everyone, including himself, failed to recognize me.

I tell him that it is quite evident that the prison atmosphere has been successful in disguising my individuality, at least so far as appearance is concerned. Then, after some more serious talk, we reach an agreement of opinion that I am probably getting as much experience as possible where I am now working; and so it would be better to continue in the basket-shop for the present. The Warden makes me a promise to come again to-morrow evening, and they take their departure. I wish they’d come back, I haven’t talked half enough.

I tell him that it's clear the prison environment has done a good job of hiding my individuality, at least in terms of how I look. After some more serious discussion, we agree that I’m likely gaining as much experience as possible in my current job, so it’s best to stay in the basket shop for now. The Warden promises to come back tomorrow evening, and then they leave. I wish they’d return; I haven’t talked nearly enough.

The Warden told me that one of the convicts who works in his household quarters locks in (to use the prison expression denoting temporary residence) next to me—Number 14 on this tier; and that he had felt rather hurt that I did not answer his taps. It seems that after finishing his evening’s work he gets back to his cell at ten o’clock, and that he tapped me a greeting last night. That was just about the time I fell asleep. I remember getting the impression in a vague way[Pg 101] of some noises on the gallery near by, just as I was dropping off; that must have been the night officer letting him into his cell. To-night I shall stay awake and answer his message.

The Warden told me that one of the inmates who works in his living quarters is staying next to me—Number 14 on this level—and that he felt a bit hurt that I didn’t respond to his taps. It turns out that after finishing his evening work, he gets back to his cell at ten o’clock, and he tapped to say hi last night. That was right around the time I fell asleep. I vaguely remember hearing some noises on the gallery nearby as I was dozing off; that must have been the night officer letting him into his cell. Tonight, I’m going to stay awake and respond to his message.

So the company I am in is the one I have been dreading, is it? “The toughest bunch of fellows in the prison”—Murphy and Stuhlmiller and “Blackie,” the good-natured fellow who gave away his tobacco and brings us the material for our baskets; and the other pleasant men whose acquaintance I have been making these last two days in the shop. It is incredible, inconceivable. What can be the explanation of it all?

So the group I’m with is the one I’ve been dreading, right? “The toughest guys in the prison”—Murphy and Stuhlmiller and “Blackie,” the friendly guy who shares his tobacco and brings us the materials for our baskets; and the other nice guys I’ve been getting to know over the past two days in the shop. It’s unbelievable, unimaginable. What could explain all of this?

Is it possible that I am being made the victim of a clever system of deception? This is naturally my first thought. I can well imagine that Jack Murphy enjoys the novel sensation of having as his partner a man who is for the moment an object of peculiar interest to this community, that is simply human nature. No doubt Harley Stuhlmiller enjoys giving directions to the member of a state commission, that again is human nature. But that these men could assume virtues which they have not, and carry out a wholesale system of deceit—that is not possible. I have been on my guard every moment I have been here, and I have observed some few attempts to get into my good graces, with a possible[Pg 102] expectation of future benefits; but on the other hand there has been a remarkable and most successful effort to carry out my request—to treat me as plain Tom Brown.

Is it possible that I'm falling victim to a clever scheme of deception? That's my first thought. I can easily see that Jack Murphy enjoys the novelty of having a partner who is currently a subject of special interest to this community; that's just human nature. No doubt Harley Stuhlmiller enjoys giving orders to a state commission member; once again, that's human nature. But for these men to pretend to have virtues they don’t and to execute a widespread system of deceit—that seems unlikely. I’ve been on guard every moment I’ve been here, and I’ve noticed a few attempts to win me over, possibly with hopes of future advantages; however, there’s also been a notable and quite successful effort to fulfill my request—to treat me as just plain Tom Brown.

No, that explanation doesn’t explain; the truth must lie in another direction. And here is my idea. I am not seeing the worse side of these men because there is no occasion for them to show me their worse side; but I have no intention of overlooking or denying that side. They wouldn’t be in prison if they did not have it. But, although they may form the toughest bunch in prison, they evidently have their better side also, and is that not just as real as the worse side? And is it not the better side that is the more important for us to consider? Important—whether we approach the matter from the side of philanthropy or from that of political economy. In either case we must consider it important that men should not leave prison in such condition, mental, moral or physical, that they will almost certainly commit more crimes and be returned to prison.

No, that explanation doesn’t cut it; the truth must be found elsewhere. Here’s my thought. I'm not seeing the worst side of these men because they haven't had a reason to show it to me; but I’m not going to ignore or deny that side. They wouldn’t be in prison if it didn't exist. However, even if they are the toughest group in prison, they clearly have a better side too, and isn’t that just as real as the worst side? Isn’t the better side what we should pay more attention to? It’s important—whether we look at it from a charitable perspective or a political economy angle. In either case, it’s crucial that we ensure these men don’t leave prison in such a state—mentally, morally, or physically—that they are almost guaranteed to commit more crimes and end up back behind bars.

To which side, the better or the worse, does the Prison System now appeal? Which does it encourage and develop? These are pretty vital questions.

To which side, the better or the worse, does the Prison System now appeal? Which does it encourage and develop? These are pretty important questions.

At any rate it seems to me to have been great good luck that I was placed in the basket-shop where I should associate with just these men; for[Pg 103] if these fellows are really among the more difficult cases in the prison, then I think——

At any rate, I feel like it was really lucky that I was put in the basket shop where I could connect with these guys; for[Pg 103] if these guys are truly some of the tougher cases in the prison, then I think——

 

Wednesday morning, October 1.

Wednesday morning, October 1st.

At that interesting moment, while still writing my journal, the lights suddenly went out on me; so I am finishing this next morning. The Warden and Grant arrived soon after eight and must have stayed longer than I thought; and somehow I seem to have missed the warning bell. I had not begun to prepare for bed, when suddenly I was left in darkness. I had to get my writing materials into the locker and make my evening toilet the best way I could, with the help of the dim light from the corridor coming through the grated door. There was one good thing about it, however; I was too busy for a while to notice the blackness of the bars which had given me such a shock the night before. It did not take so very long to make my preparations, for the state of New York allows its boarders neither night shirts nor pajamas. We have to sleep in the underclothes in which we have worked all day. An arrangement which strikes one as being almost more medieval than the sewage disposal system.

At that interesting moment, while I was still writing in my journal, the lights suddenly went out; so I'm finishing this the next morning. The Warden and Grant showed up shortly after eight and must have stayed longer than I thought; somehow, I seem to have missed the warning bell. I hadn't started getting ready for bed when I was left in complete darkness. I had to shove my writing materials into the locker and get ready for the night as best as I could, using the dim light from the corridor coming through the grated door. On the bright side, I was too busy for a bit to notice the oppressive bars that had shocked me the night before. It didn’t take long to prepare, though, since the state of New York doesn’t allow its residents to have nightshirts or pajamas. We have to sleep in the underclothes we wore all day. It’s an arrangement that feels almost more medieval than the sewage disposal system.

[Pg 104]On Monday night, according to Jack Murphy, the men in my corridor all waited to hear if I had the usual difficulties with my bed; and as some other fellow’s bed went down with him during the evening they thought they had the laugh on me. This Tuesday night they certainly had. That infernal armchair could not be placed where it did not catch the edge of the bed when I let it down, so as to leave one leg dangling loose, as only one could touch the floor at a time. In the course of my struggles with the bed, the whole miserable contrivance came off the hooks and fell down with a metallic rattle and bang that could be heard all over the corridor. Then came snickers from various distances, and my frantic effort to straighten things out only made more noise than ever. Bursts of smothered laughter came through the bars; and I laughed, myself, until I was almost in hysterics. Finally I got the bed hitched on to the back hooks, folded it up against the wall and started all over again. I began by putting the chair on its back as far away from the bed as possible, which wasn’t very far, and this time I just managed to get the legs of the bed to the floor. After that it was short work to get ready for the night.

[Pg 104]On Monday night, according to Jack Murphy, the guys in my hallway were all waiting to see if I had the usual problems with my bed; and when another guy’s bed collapsed during the night, they thought they had a good laugh at my expense. This Tuesday night, they definitely did. That annoying armchair couldn’t be positioned without blocking the edge of the bed when I let it down, leaving one leg hanging loose since only one could touch the floor at a time. While I struggled with the bed, the whole wretched setup came off the hooks and crashed down with a loud metallic clatter that echoed through the hallway. Then came snickers from various spots, and my desperate attempts to fix everything just made more noise. I heard bursts of muffled laughter coming through the bars, and I laughed myself until I was almost in hysterics. Finally, I managed to get the bed hooked onto the back supports, folded it up against the wall, and started over again. I began by putting the chair on its back as far away from the bed as possible, which wasn’t very far, and this time I just about got the legs of the bed to the floor. After that, it didn’t take long to get ready for the night.

I have not yet described my bed covering. I have one double and one single blanket and a thin blanket sheet—no cotton or linen of any sort. I do not need, in this weather, more than[Pg 105] one of the three blankets; but if I were to be here long I know I should like some cotton bedclothes and pillow cases. These can be secured, apparently, only by buying them, and many prisoners have not the money to buy them. It seems as if the State should furnish them to all prisoners; certainly the present arrangement leaves much to be desired from a sanitary point of view.

I haven't talked about my bedding yet. I have one double and one single blanket, plus a thin blanket sheet—no cotton or linen at all. In this weather, I only need one of the three blankets; but if I were to stay here longer, I know I’d want some cotton bedding and pillowcases. It looks like the only way to get them is to buy them, and many prisoners don’t have the money for that. It seems like the State should provide these for all prisoners; definitely, the current setup doesn't meet sanitary standards.

Having thus at last got into bed, I found myself not so sleepy as when I started; moreover, now that I was in bed, that black grating began again to have its nervous effect upon me. If I thought it would be any better I should turn, facing the other way; but that would bring my head so close to the grating that anyone from outside could poke me with his fingers. Moreover, it wouldn’t help matters, for as long as I know that grating is there I might as well look at it; I should certainly feel it even worse if I turned my back.

Having finally gotten into bed, I found I wasn’t as sleepy as I was before; plus, now that I was lying down, that black grating started to get to me again. I thought about turning to face the other way, hoping it would be better, but that would put my head too close to the grating, making it easy for someone outside to poke me with their fingers. Besides, it wouldn’t really change anything; as long as I knew that grating was there, I might as well look at it. Turning my back to it would probably just make me feel even more uneasy.

I heard the nine-fifty train drawing into the station. I wondered who, if any, of my friends were boarding the train for New York. How often have I done so without ever thinking of the poor fellows over here, lying restless in their cells and marking the time by the arrival and departure of trains. After a suitable interval I heard the train draw away. Then I knew that in a few moments my neighbor from the Warden’s rooms would be down.

I heard the 9:50 train pulling into the station. I wondered which of my friends, if any, were getting on the train to New York. How many times have I done that without considering the poor guys over here, lying awake in their cells and counting time by the trains coming and going? After a little while, I heard the train leave. Then I knew that in a few moments my neighbor from the Warden’s rooms would be coming down.

[Pg 106]Soon I heard the opening and closing of a distant door, then stealthy footfalls along the corridor, the faint sound of a lock, and I saw the long iron bar slowly and noiselessly raise itself from the top of the cell opening. Then more stealthy footfalls, the sound of the great key turning in a lock close at hand, the click of a lever, and a few faint sounds through the wall at my right. Then the lever clicked again as the door closed, the key turned in the lock, soft footfalls died away along the gallery, the long bar dropped down, and all was so quiet for a moment that it seemed as if the very building were holding its breath.

[Pg 106]Soon, I heard a door open and close in the distance, followed by quiet footsteps in the hallway, the faint sound of a lock, and I watched as the long iron bar slowly and silently lifted from the top of the cell opening. Then, more quiet footsteps, the sound of a heavy key turning in a nearby lock, the click of a lever, and a few muffled noises on the wall to my right. The lever clicked again as the door closed, the key turned in the lock, soft footsteps faded along the gallery, the long bar fell back into place, and everything was so still for a moment that it felt like the entire building was holding its breath.

Then through the wall I heard the very faintest possible sound: tap-ta-tap-tap; tap-ta-tap-tap. Then silence. It was so faint that if I had not been waiting for some sound I might not have heard it at all. Tap-ta-tap-tap. It said quite plainly, “How do you do?” I stretched out my left hand to the wall on my right and with my ring gave an answering signal: Tap-tap; tap-tap; tap-tap; which was the nearest I could come to, “All right; all right.” Then I waited to see if I was answered; and sure enough in a few seconds the answer came.

Then through the wall, I heard the faintest sound: tap-ta-tap-tap; tap-ta-tap-tap. Then silence. It was so quiet that if I hadn’t been listening for some noise, I might not have noticed it at all. Tap-ta-tap-tap. It clearly said, “How do you do?” I reached out my left hand to the wall on my right and tapped back with my ring: Tap-tap; tap-tap; tap-tap; which was the closest I could get to, “All right; all right.” Then I waited to see if I’d get a response; and sure enough, in a few seconds, the answer came.

After some moments, during which I presume my unseen friend was preparing for bed, I heard again a different sound; rap-rap, rap-rap, rap-rap. It said as plain as possible, “Good-night, [Pg 107]good-night.” So I returned it in the same way. Then turning over in my narrow bed I fell asleep, and although my sleep was neither deep nor continuous it was much better than the night before.

After a little while, while I assume my unseen friend was getting ready for bed, I heard a different sound again; knock-knock, knock-knock, knock-knock. It clearly said, “Good-night, [Pg 107] good-night.” So I answered back in the same way. Then, turning over in my small bed, I fell asleep, and even though my sleep wasn’t deep or continuous, it was definitely better than the night before.

 

 


CHAPTER VIII

WEDNESDAY MORNING AND AFTERNOON

 

In my cell, Wednesday evening, October 2.

In my cell, Wednesday night, October 2.

Looking out of the upper windows in the outer wall, from the door of my cell, I can see that the morning is cloudy and threatening. It is also warmer; up to now it has been clear and cool.

Looking out of the upper windows in the outer wall, from the door of my cell, I can see that the morning is cloudy and looks ominous. It's also warmer; until now, it has been clear and cool.

I feel in good condition after a very fair night, and rise soon after hearing the six o’clock westbound train and the factory whistles. This gives me ample time to wash, dress, and get completely ready for the day.

I feel good after a decent night’s sleep and get up shortly after I hear the six o’clock westbound train and the factory whistles. This gives me plenty of time to wash up, get dressed, and be fully ready for the day.

The new acting Captain starts in this morning—Captain Kane. He is a handsome, neat and soldierly appearing officer, with cold blue eyes and a forceful quiet manner. Promptly on time he unlocks the levers, and George, the trusty, follows close after, pushing them down. Around the corner there is a slight delay, as the long bar[Pg 109] on that tier seems to be somewhat out of order and will not rise far enough to allow the doors of the cells to swing open. I’m glad I’m not in one of those cells or I should be afraid of being shut in for the day. The Captain soon gets the bar raised, however, and the usual routine happens; walking along the gallery with our heavy buckets, descending the iron stairs, waiting in the passage at the door of the north wing, and marching down the yard to the sewage disposal building. Then the rapid cleaning of the buckets, leaving them to be aired and disinfected at the stands; and the march back to our cells. It is, as I supposed, a gray, cloudy day, with rain likely to come. If it does, there is no change of clothing whatever in my cell, and no way of getting one that I know of; so I hope it will not rain. But what do these poor fellows do after marching through the yard in a real drenching shower? Work until they’re dry, I suppose, if they get wet on the way to the shop; or go to bed in their cells if they get wet on the way back. This holds out to me a cheerful prospect of wet clothes all day and fourteen hours in bed in case it rains hard; for the distance from the cell block to the basket-shop would be a long walk in the rain.

The new acting Captain starts this morning—Captain Kane. He’s a handsome, tidy, and military-looking officer, with cold blue eyes and a strong, quiet demeanor. Right on time, he unlocks the levers, and George, the reliable one, follows closely behind, pushing them down. Around the corner, there’s a slight delay because the long bar[Pg 109] on that tier seems to be a bit out of order and won’t rise high enough to let the doors of the cells swing open. I'm glad I’m not in one of those cells or I’d be worried about being stuck in there all day. The Captain manages to raise the bar soon enough, though, and the usual routine kicks in; walking along the gallery with our heavy buckets, going down the iron stairs, waiting in the passage at the door of the north wing, and marching down to the sewage disposal building. Then we quickly clean the buckets, leaving them to air out and get disinfected at the stands; and then it’s back to our cells. As I expected, it’s a gray, cloudy day, with rain likely on the way. If it does rain, there’s no change of clothes in my cell, and I have no idea how to get one; so I really hope it doesn’t rain. But what do those poor guys do after marching through the yard in a heavy downpour? They probably have to work until they dry off if they get wet on the way to the shop; or go to bed in their cells if they get drenched coming back. This makes me think of a lovely situation of wet clothes all day and fourteen hours in bed if it rains hard; because the distance from the cell block to the basket shop would be quite a trek in the rain.

What an admirable system! Excellently calculated, I should imagine, to produce the largest possible crop of pneumonia in the shortest possible space of time.

What an impressive system! I can only guess it's perfectly designed to create the highest possible number of pneumonia cases in the shortest amount of time.

[Pg 110]Upon my return to the cell I do my morning sweeping. I do not know where all the dust comes from, as no one else uses the cell, and I can’t see where I collect any; but dusty it is every morning.

[Pg 110]When I get back to my cell, I do my morning sweeping. I have no idea where all the dust comes from since no one else uses the cell, and I can't see where it piles up, but it’s always dusty every morning.

Then I have a call from Dickinson, the Chaplain’s assistant. The poor fellow has a letter from the man who had promised him work, saying that the factory is running slack and there is no knowing how soon his job will be ready for him. He had counted on Saturday being his day of release, his wife was coming to meet him, and all his plans were made for a joyful family reunion. Now it must all go by the board. It is a heart-breaking disappointment, but he bears up bravely.

Then I got a call from Dickinson, the Chaplain’s assistant. The poor guy received a letter from the man who had promised him a job, saying that the factory is slow right now and it’s unclear when his job will be available. He had been counting on Saturday to be his day of freedom; his wife was coming to pick him up, and he had everything planned for a happy family reunion. Now, it’s all fallen apart. It’s a devastating letdown, but he’s handling it with courage.

As it happens I may be able to help him. At any rate I promise to write a letter to his proposed employer. The poor fellow grasps at this slight comfort and expresses his gratitude most fervently. Then I turn my attention to breakfast.

As it turns out, I might be able to help him. Anyway, I promise to write a letter to his potential employer. The poor guy clings to this small bit of hope and thanks me enthusiastically. Then I focus on breakfast.

Wednesday’s breakfast consists of hash, with the usual accompaniments of boot-leg and punk. I was told in the shop yesterday what to expect. The smell of the mess-room is beginning to be unpleasant, perhaps owing to the change in temperature. If so, what it must be on a moist warm day in summer, or on a wet day in winter when the steam is turned on, I hate to think.

Wednesday’s breakfast includes hash, along with the usual sides of boot-leg and punk. I was informed in the shop yesterday about what to expect. The smell in the mess room is starting to get bad, probably due to the temperature change. If that’s the case, I can’t imagine how it must smell on a humid warm summer day or on a rainy winter day when the steam is on—I shudder to think.

The hash is not so good as yesterday’s [Pg 111]porridge. Moreover it is rendered distinctly less appetizing by the amount of bone and gristle which I find chopped up in it. I hope I am not unduly fastidious in such matters, and an occasional inedible morsel I should not criticize; but an average of two or three pieces of bone and gristle to a mouthful seems to me excessive.

The hash isn’t nearly as good as yesterday’s [Pg 111] porridge. Plus, it looks a lot less appetizing because of the amount of bone and gristle I've found chopped up in it. I hope I’m not being too picky about this, and I shouldn’t complain about an occasional inedible piece; but an average of two or three bits of bone and gristle in each bite feels excessive to me.

Back in my cell I write my promised letter on behalf of Dickinson; but the minutes before shop time pass so quickly that when the lever is pressed down I am not ready, and so have to make a grab for my coat and cap and fall in toward the end of the line on the gallery. During the halt at the door, however, I regain my place—third in line on the left. The rain has come, but, fortunately, it is little more than a mist. It gives me a chance, however, to venture a mild pleasantry. When the Captain is out of hearing I whisper, with as English an accent as possible, “Oh, dear me! Where did I leave my umber-rella?” a remark which causes unseemly snickers from those within hearing. The joke is quite in character, as those I hear turn largely on the various hardships and privations of prison life; although the one huge, massive, gigantic joke, which is always fresh and pointed, is the current rate of payment for a prisoner’s work—one cent and a half a day. Before this monumental and gorgeous piece of humor all other jokes seem flat and pointless.

Back in my cell, I write the promised letter for Dickinson; but the minutes before shop time fly by so fast that when the lever is pulled down, I’m not ready, so I have to quickly grab my coat and cap and fall in toward the end of the line on the gallery. However, during the pause at the door, I regain my spot—third in line on the left. It’s raining, but fortunately, it’s barely more than a mist. This gives me a chance to throw in a light-hearted comment. When the Captain is out of earshot, I whisper in the most English accent I can manage, “Oh, dear me! Where did I leave my umbrella?” This remark sparks some inappropriate snickers from those close enough to hear. The joke fits right in, as most of the jokes I hear revolve around the various hardships and deprivations of prison life; although the one enormous, massive, gigantic joke that never gets old is the current pay rate for a prisoner’s work—one and a half cents a day. Compared to this monumental and hilarious joke, all other jokes seem flat and pointless.

On the march down the yard to the shop we[Pg 112] pass the Warden. He lets us go by without any sign of recognition, which gives me another chance to get a laugh from my comrades. I whisper, “So that is the way my old friends treat me!” Apparently the prisoners can appreciate a joke better than an official; I am still a bit resentful at the way that excessively bored Bertillon clerk received my attempt at humor.

On the walk down the yard to the shop we[Pg 112] pass the Warden. He lets us go by without even looking at us, which gives me another chance to get a laugh from my friends. I whisper, “So that’s how my old buddies treat me!” Apparently, the prisoners get a joke better than the officials do; I'm still a little annoyed at how that super bored Bertillon clerk reacted to my attempt at humor.

Arrived at the shop I go directly to my bench, and turning around am greeted by the cheery face of my partner. He comes up behind me, for he marches somewhere in the rear. “Well, Brown, how did you get by last night?”

Arriving at the shop, I head straight to my bench, and when I turn around, I'm welcomed by the friendly face of my partner. He approaches from behind me, since he tends to walk a little behind. “Hey, Brown, how did you get through last night?”

“Better, thank you, Jack!”

“Doing better, thanks, Jack!”

“Well, of course you will find it hard for the first week or two, but after that you will be O. K.” By which it will be seen that my partner likes a joke as well as the next man. Then as we hang up our caps and coats and get ready for work he continues, “A new man always does find it hard to sleep when he is thinking of a wife or mother or someone else at home; but as soon as the mist clears away he begins to see and think more clearly.”

“Well, of course, you’ll find it tough for the first week or two, but after that, you’ll be fine.” This shows that my partner enjoys a good joke just like anyone else. Then, as we take off our caps and coats and prepare to work, he adds, “A new guy always struggles to sleep when he’s thinking about a wife or mother or someone else back home; but once the fog lifts, he starts to see and think more clearly.”

I am about to answer when a warning whisper, “Look out! Here comes the screw!” tells me that our new Captain is approaching.

I’m just about to respond when a low whisper warns me, “Watch out! Here comes the boss!” signaling that our new Captain is on the way.

“How many bottoms do you two men make a day?” asks that officer.

“How many bottoms do you two men make each day?” asks that officer.

[Pg 113]I look at Murphy and he promptly answers, “Five.”

[Pg 113]I look at Murphy, and he quickly responds, “Five.”

“Then continue making five for a day’s work, just as you were doing under your regular officer,” says the Captain; and moves on to the next pair of men. Our new officer evidently does not propose to have the work slack off during his management of the shop.

“Then keep making five for a day’s work, just like you were doing with your regular officer,” says the Captain, and moves on to the next pair of men. Our new officer clearly doesn’t intend to let the work slow down while he’s in charge of the shop.

My other shopmates have greeted me warmly, and presently I have pleasant conversations with some of them. To-day for the first time the ice is thoroughly broken, and I am quite made one of them. It happens in this way.

My other shopmates have greeted me warmly, and right now I'm having nice conversations with some of them. Today, for the first time, the ice is completely broken, and I feel like I'm really one of them. This happens like this.

As we are working away, Jack and I, trying to accomplish our morning’s task with very stiff material to work with, the P. K. shows up. He has come, I suppose, to see how the new Captain is getting on with the toughest bunch of fellows in the prison. After he has conversed awhile with the Captain he walks slowly over to where we are working and remarks, apparently addressing the world in general, “Don’t you feel the draught from that door?”

As Jack and I are busy trying to get our morning task done with some really stiff material, the P.K. shows up. I guess he’s come to check on how the new Captain is handling the toughest group of guys in the prison. After chatting for a bit with the Captain, he slowly walks over to where we’re working and comments, seemingly talking to everyone, “Don’t you feel the draft from that door?”

As he has not spoken to anyone in particular, I look at Jack and wait for him or somebody else to answer; but Jack is bending over his work and no one seems inclined to say anything.

As he hasn’t talked to anyone in particular, I glance at Jack and wait for him or someone else to reply; but Jack is focused on his work and no one seems willing to say anything.

“Thank you, sir,” I begin politely; “as far as I am concerned I don’t mind it, for I like fresh air. It doesn’t trouble me any.”

“Thank you, sir,” I start politely; “as far as I'm concerned, I don’t mind it because I like fresh air. It doesn’t bother me at all.”

[Pg 114]“Well now,” says the portly and dignified dispenser of law and order, “I don’t want you men to catch cold. I think you’d better have that door shut and perhaps the windows farther open. I’ll just speak to the Captain about it. You mustn’t work in a draught if you feel it too much.”

[Pg 114]“Well now,” says the plump and dignified enforcer of law and order, “I don’t want you guys to catch a cold. I think it’s best to close that door and maybe open the windows a bit more. I’ll talk to the Captain about it. You shouldn’t work in a draft if it bothers you too much.”

As the P. K. steps back to the Captain I glance over at Murphy and catch an answering gleam in his eye. “It’s all right, Jack,” I remark, in a cautious undertone, “I’m wise.”

As the P.K. steps back to the Captain, I glance over at Murphy and catch a knowing look in his eye. “It’s all good, Jack,” I say quietly, “I get it.”

He grins. “Well, did you ever see anything so raw as that?”

He smiles. “Well, have you ever seen anything so unfiltered as that?”

I chuckle, and glance sarcastically over toward our highly respected officers. Jack continues, “Does he think he can put that over on us?”

I laugh and give a sarcastic look over at our highly respected officers. Jack goes on, “Does he really think he can get away with that?”

“Not this time,” is my reply; and when the Captain, upon the P. K.’s departure, comes over to shut the door I tell him that if he doesn’t mind we should prefer to have it left open, to which suggestion he kindly yields. It is a large double door and gives light as well as fresh air to all our part of the shop.

“Not this time,” I reply; and when the Captain comes over to close the door after the P. K. leaves, I tell him that if he doesn’t mind, we’d rather keep it open. He kindly agrees to my suggestion. It’s a large double door that lets in light and fresh air to our side of the shop.

This little episode has not gone unnoticed by the rest of the men; I almost instantly feel that I have risen several pegs in the esteem of my comrades. Several of them who have hitherto held aloof come over for an introduction to Tom Brown. If I am on the side of the convicts against the officers, in short if I am “ag’in the government,” I must be all right. I am perfectly[Pg 115] conscious of the barriers giving way. Of course the game I am playing has its dangers, but I believe it is the wise one. If I am really to gain these men’s confidence, I must be on the convicts’ side and act the part completely. I must look at matters from the convicts’ point of view; and scorn of all forms of hypocrisy and double dealing on the part of those in authority as well as good faith with your pals seems to be the platform upon which all the best men stand. And these are mighty fine qualities outside prison; why then are they not equally fine inside? Are not truth and courage and devotion to be welcomed wherever found? And are not falsehood and hypocrisy always hateful? A certain man who is serving time here, although innocent of the crime for which he was sent, because he could not escape conviction without implicating two of his friends is a type. “But then,” he once explained to me, “you see, I had done a good many things for which I had not served time. And our code of ethics is based upon the rule that you must never squeal on a pal.” It was the same man who, when he once started to complain of the injustice of some term he had served and I had said, “Yes, but you must consider the other side of it,” broke into a smile and answered:

This little episode hasn’t gone unnoticed by the other guys; I quickly realize that I’ve climbed several rungs in the eyes of my friends. A few of them, who had previously kept their distance, come over to get introduced to Tom Brown. If I’m standing with the convicts against the officers, in short, if I’m “against the government,” then I must be alright. I am fully[Pg 115] aware of the barriers falling away. Of course, the game I’m playing has its risks, but I think it’s the smart move. If I really want to earn these guys’ trust, I have to be on the convicts’ side and play the role completely. I need to see things from the convicts’ perspective, and disdain for all kinds of hypocrisy and double-dealing from those in power, along with loyalty to your friends, seems to be the foundation upon which all the best guys stand. And these are really good qualities outside of prison; so why aren’t they equally valuable inside? Aren’t truth, bravery, and loyalty welcome wherever they’re found? And isn’t deceit and hypocrisy always repugnant? There’s a guy serving time here, who, although innocent of the crime he was convicted for, couldn’t avoid a guilty verdict without implicating two of his friends. He’s an example. “But then,” he once told me, “you see, I had done a lot of things I hadn’t been punished for. Our code of ethics is based on the rule that you must never rat on a friend.” It was the same guy who, when he started to complain about the unfairness of some sentence he had served, and I said, “Yes, but you have to consider the other side,” broke into a smile and replied:

“You are entirely right. I’ve calculated that I still owe the state of New York two or three hundred years.”

“You're absolutely right. I’ve figured out that I still owe the state of New York two or three hundred years.”

[Pg 116]But all that is another story.

[Pg 116]But that's a whole different story.

Before the morning is over George, the trusty, comes along saying: “Shave, Jack?” “Yes.” “Shave, Brown?” “No, thank you.”

Before the morning is over, George, the reliable one, comes along saying: “Shave, Jack?” “Yes.” “Shave, Brown?” “No, thank you.”

So my partner goes under George’s hands for his semiweekly barbering, and in due time reappears, looking his best. If anyone should ask me how good is Jack’s best, I should have to answer that I have not the least idea. By this time I am becoming so attached to my open-hearted, whole-souled partner that I can only look at him with the eyes of affectionate and indiscriminating friendship.

So my partner goes to George for his biweekly haircut, and after a while, he comes back looking sharp. If anyone were to ask me how good Jack looks at his best, I would honestly have no clue. At this point, I'm becoming so fond of my open-hearted, genuine partner that I can only see him with the eyes of warm and unconditional friendship.

While Jack is getting shaved I work on steadily, chatting with Stuhlmiller, “Blackie,” whose name I find is Laflam, and Jack Bell, who marches second in line on the right, and who has a pleasant voice and seems like an exceptionally intelligent fellow.

While Jack is getting shaved, I keep working steadily, chatting with Stuhlmiller, “Blackie,” whose real name is Laflam, and Jack Bell, who is second in line on the right. He has a nice voice and seems like an exceptionally smart guy.

We return to the cell house at the usual time; and fortunately the rain has ceased, so I do not have the experience of a wet day—an experience I am quite willing to forego.

We head back to the cell house at the usual time, and luckily the rain has stopped, so I am spared the experience of a wet day—something I'm more than happy to avoid.

At dinner we have pork and beans, the beans not at all bad. We also have tea instead of coffee. I can make out but very little difference in these two beverages. I should say they must both be prepared in some such apparatus as is described by the boy in “Mugby Junction”: “A[Pg 117] metallic object that’s at times the tea-urn and at times the soup-tureen, according to the nature of the last twang imparted to its contents which are the same groundwork.”

At dinner, we have pork and beans, and the beans aren't bad at all. We also have tea instead of coffee. I can barely tell the difference between the two drinks. I would say they must both be made with some kind of device like the one described by the boy in “Mugby Junction”: “A[Pg 117] metallic object that’s sometimes the tea-urn and sometimes the soup-tureen, depending on the last flavor added to its contents which are basically the same.”

After dinner I have a long talk with Roger Landry. He grows confidential, telling much about himself—completing the story, part of which he gave me yesterday. It interests me greatly. And it is just this vital human element that is making my experiment so much more absorbing than I had expected.

After dinner, I have a lengthy conversation with Roger Landry. He becomes quite open, sharing a lot about himself—finishing the story he started telling me yesterday. I'm really intrigued by it. It's this essential human aspect that makes my experiment so much more captivating than I anticipated.

At the usual time we march back to the shop, where I have two new experiences.

At the usual time, we head back to the shop, where I have two new experiences.

The first is a glimpse of the school. I am working away steadily with Jack when an officer suddenly appears at my elbow. “Is this Thomas Brown?”

The first is a look at the school. I'm working steadily with Jack when an officer suddenly shows up next to me. “Is this Thomas Brown?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Sure, sir.”

“The Professor wants to see you at the school.”

“The Professor wants to see you at school.”

Meekly putting on my cap and coat, I follow the keeper out of the shop. At least I prepare to follow—I wait for him to lead the way, but he motions me to go ahead of him. Then I realize that an officer escorting a convict always walks just behind, where he can keep a watchful eye on every move of his charge.

Meekly putting on my cap and coat, I follow the keeper out of the shop. At least I get ready to follow—I wait for him to lead the way, but he gestures for me to go ahead of him. Then I realize that an officer escorting a convict always walks just behind, where he can keep a close watch on every move of his charge.

The school is only a few steps away, in fact in the second story of the very building of which our shop occupies the ground floor. I ascend the[Pg 118] stairs, and passing through a hall find myself in the principal’s office. Here I am told to wait until the Professor is at leisure. I wait a long time. When he arrives he gives me a single sheet of paper, and tells me to write a composition on the subject of My Education.

The school is just a short distance away, actually on the second floor of the same building where our shop is located on the ground floor. I climb the[Pg 118] stairs, and after walking through a hallway, I find myself in the principal’s office. I'm told to wait until the Professor is free. I wait for quite a while. When he finally arrives, he hands me a single sheet of paper and asks me to write an essay on the topic of My Education.

I sit down and quickly fill two pages with a succinct account of my stay at different institutions of learning, ending with my graduation from the university. Then I simply add that, while this has been the end of my schooling, I hope my education is still going on.

I sit down and quickly fill two pages with a brief overview of my time at various schools, concluding with my graduation from university. Then I just add that, although this marks the end of my formal education, I hope my learning continues.

The Professor having left the room again while I am writing, I have another considerable wait. The school appears to be much larger and more important than when I saw it last, some years ago. I should like to see more of it. After a while the Professor returns and reads over my paper. His only comment is one regarding my university degree. The Chaplain has already told me that there are twenty college graduates confined in prison here, but I am pleased to have the Professor add the information that I am the only Harvard graduate in the institution. I repress the inevitable impulse to say, “I suppose the others come from Yale,” and simply express gratification at what the Professor has told me. I have already decided to reserve all jokes for my comrades.

The Professor left the room again while I’m writing, so I have to wait some more. The school seems a lot bigger and more important than it did when I was last here, a few years ago. I’d like to explore it more. After a while, the Professor comes back and goes over my paper. His only comment is about my university degree. The Chaplain has already mentioned that there are twenty college graduates locked up in this prison, but I’m glad to hear from the Professor that I’m the only Harvard grad in the place. I hold back the urge to say, “I guess the others went to Yale,” and just show appreciation for what the Professor has shared with me. I’ve already decided to keep all my jokes for my fellow inmates.

“That is all, Brown.”

"That's all, Brown."

[Pg 119]“Thank you, sir.”

“Thanks, sir.”

I cannot even be trusted to go down one flight of stairs and walk not more than thirty steps to the door of the basket-shop; so another wait is necessary until the keeper who brought me up is ready to take me back. He in time reappears and returns me, like a large and animated package, to Captain Kane. I appear to have satisfied the authorities with my mental equipment.

I can't even be trusted to go down one flight of stairs and walk just thirty steps to the door of the basket shop; so I have to wait until the keeper who brought me up is ready to take me back. He eventually comes back and delivers me, like a big animated package, to Captain Kane. It seems I've satisfied the authorities with my mental state.

My second new experience to-day is the bath. The order to fall in comes soon after my return from the school. We are lined up and counted—35 of us—each man with his towel, soap and bundle of clean clothes. My fresh apparel appeared yesterday in the shop and George kindly took care of it for me until to-day. We march in due order to a large bathhouse where are rows of shower baths with small anterooms for dressing, arranged about three sides of a large, oblong room with a raised promenade for the officers down the middle. I am for plunging at once into my section, heedless of the careful instructions Jack has given me, but one of my companions stops me, and I wait like the others with my back to the door until we have all been counted and placed. Then the word is given, and I enter. Here is a very small space where I undress, handing the shirt, socks, and underclothes I take off[Pg 120] to an attendant who sticks his hand under the door to get them. Then I enjoy a good warm shower for a few moments, but cut it short, having been warned that I must not waste any time. The drying and dressing are rather harder than the disrobing in such confined quarters, but are successfully accomplished, and I am among the first to emerge and take up my station outside, with my back to the door again. The officer, who has been walking up and down his elevated perch, keeping close watch of our heads while we bathed, counts us all carefully when the space in front of every man’s door is occupied. We then are marched back to the shop, are again counted, and then disperse to our work.

My second new experience today is the bath. The order to line up comes soon after I get back from school. We stand in a line and get counted—there are 35 of us—each with our towel, soap, and bundle of clean clothes. My fresh outfit arrived yesterday from the store, and George kindly held onto it for me until today. We march orderly to a large bathhouse where there are rows of showers with small changing rooms arranged around three sides of a big, rectangular room, with a raised walkway for the officers down the middle. I want to dive right into my section, ignoring the careful instructions Jack gave me, but one of my buddies stops me, so I wait like the others with my back to the door until we’ve all been counted and assigned. Then the signal is given, and I go in. It’s a very small area where I undress, handing my shirt, socks, and underwear I take off[Pg 120] to an attendant who reaches in to grab them. Then I enjoy a nice warm shower for a few moments, but I cut it short because I’ve been warned not to waste any time. Drying and getting dressed is a bit harder than undressing in such tight quarters, but I manage it and am one of the first to come out and take my place outside, with my back to the door again. The officer, who has been pacing on his raised spot, keeping a close watch on our heads while we bathed, counts us all carefully when everyone has occupied the space in front of their door. We then march back to the shop, get counted again, and then go off to our work.

But the excitements of the day are not yet over. As Jack and I are working hard to make up for lost time, I suddenly see over to the left, out of the corner of my eye, a familiar figure. It is my nephew. He is followed by another familiar figure and another and another. The Warden is showing over the prison a party of visitors, among them several of my intimate friends.

But the day's excitement isn't finished yet. As Jack and I are busy trying to catch up, I suddenly catch a glimpse to my left of someone familiar. It's my nephew. He's followed by another familiar face, and then another, and another. The Warden is giving a tour of the prison to a group of visitors, including several of my close friends.

I fear that the remark with which I explode will not bear repetition.

I’m afraid that the comment I make in anger won’t be worth repeating.

“What’s the matter?” says Jack, looking up from his work.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asks, looking up from his work.

“Nothing,” I reply, “it’s only my nephew, [Pg 121]confound him, and some other rubbernecks. For Heaven’s sake, Jack, work away as usual and don’t attract any attention if we can help it.”

“Nothing,” I reply, “it’s just my nephew, [Pg 121]damn him, and some other looky-loos. For goodness’ sake, Jack, keep doing what you’re doing and don’t draw any attention if we can avoid it.”

My eyeglasses are in my pocket; and fearing that my ring may catch the light I hastily drop it also into another pocket. Then I put on my cap and continue my work as naturally as possible, without looking up.

My glasses are in my pocket, and worried that my ring might reflect light, I quickly drop it into another pocket. Then I put on my cap and keep working as naturally as I can, without looking up.

Certainly, so far as appearances go, the prison system is a success in my case. In arithmetic, as I recall it, we used to seek for the greatest common denominator and the least common multiple; but in prison the apparent object is to find the least common denominator—the lowest common plane upon which you can treat everyone alike, college graduate and Bowery tough, sick and well, imbecility and intelligence, vice and virtue.

Certainly, at first glance, the prison system seems to be working in my case. When I think back to math class, we used to look for the greatest common denominator and the least common multiple; but in prison, it seems like the main goal is to find the least common denominator—the most basic level at which you can treat everyone the same, whether they're a college graduate or a street tough, sick or healthy, smart or not, and whether they have good or bad morals.

In appearance, as I started to say, I am apparently all that could be desired. Just as happened yesterday, the Warden leads this party through the shop; they are all looking specially for me; they have been spurred on by the failure of the newspaper men yesterday and are one and all determined to find me. Yet they one and all pass within twenty feet, look straight in my direction—and go on their way without recognizing me. I must have the marks of “the Criminal” unusually developed, or else criminals must look a good deal like other folks—barring the uniform. If I had the ordinary theories about prisons and[Pg 122] prisoners it might seem rather mortifying that, in spite of every effort, not one of these intimate friends can spot me among the toughest bunch of fellows in the prison.

In terms of looks, as I was saying, I seem to be exactly what one would expect. Just like yesterday, the Warden is guiding this group through the shop; they’re all specifically looking for me. They’ve been motivated by the journalists’ failure yesterday and are all determined to find me. Yet, they all pass within twenty feet, glance in my direction—and continue on without recognizing me. I must have the features of “the Criminal” really amplified, or maybe criminals just look a lot like everyone else—except for the uniform. If I held the usual beliefs about prisons and[Pg 122] inmates, it might be a bit embarrassing that, despite all their efforts, none of these close friends can identify me among the toughest group of guys in the prison.

Certainly something must be wrong somewhere.

Certainly, something has to be wrong somewhere.

This appears to be an afternoon of excitements. Down comes the P. K. again, for what purpose I do not know. The afternoon is cloudy and it is getting somewhat dark and gloomy in the shop. After the P. K. has spoken to the Captain he comes over and tells us fellows that we can quit work if we want to, as it is too dark to see well. He points to the north windows, where a car of lumber on the track outside interferes somewhat with the light in that part of the shop. After he is gone we continue working, as we can see perfectly well; and Jack is still more scornful than he was this morning. He expresses the opinion that this proceeding is even more raw than the former one. “I should like to know how long it is since they was so careful of our eyes, so awful anxious about our health!” is his sarcastic comment.

This seems to be an exciting afternoon. The P.K. is back again, but I'm not sure why. It's cloudy out and getting pretty dark and gloomy in the shop. After the P.K. talks to the Captain, he comes over and tells us we can stop working if we want, since it’s too dark to see properly. He points to the north windows, where a lumber car on the track outside blocks some of the light in that section of the shop. Once he leaves, we keep working because we can see just fine; and Jack is even more critical than he was this morning. He thinks this situation is even more ridiculous than before. “I’d like to know when they started caring so much about our eyesight, so concerned about our health!” is his sarcastic remark.

My answering comment is this, “I dare say, Jack, it’s all right; but, so far as I am concerned, they can’t come it over me that way.”

My response is this: “I have to say, Jack, it’s fine; but as far as I’m concerned, they can’t pull that over on me.”

“Well, I guess not!” is Jack’s hearty response.

“Well, I guess not!” Jack replies cheerfully.

After we have washed up and just before we separate for the night my partner comes up to[Pg 123] me in his engaging way. “Say, would you mind if I called you by your first name?”

After we’ve cleaned up and just before we go our separate ways for the night, my partner approaches me in his charming way. “Hey, would you mind if I called you by your first name?”

“Mind! I should like it; and I wish you would.” As a matter of fact I had been intending to ask him to do so.

“Hey! I would really like that, and I hope you will.” In fact, I had been planning to ask him to do just that.

So now it is “Good night, Tom,” “Good night, Jack!” when the time comes to fall in.

So now it’s “Good night, Tom,” “Good night, Jack!” when it’s time to turn in.

As we turn into the yard, I see a group of men gathered about the entrance of the main building. I suspect it to be the same party of rubbernecks the Warden conducted through the shop this afternoon—including my friends. They are evidently waiting for us to march by. As we draw nearer I find that my suspicions are confirmed. I conclude that they failed to discover me in the shop, and so are taking this means of gratifying their curiosity. They are welcome to do so. I look as unconscious as possible; go swinging by the group, eyes front; pick up a slice of bread and regain my cell as usual.

As we turn into the yard, I see a group of men gathered at the entrance of the main building. I suspect it's the same group of onlookers the Warden took through the shop this afternoon—including my friends. They're clearly waiting for us to walk past. As we get closer, I find my suspicions are confirmed. I guess they didn’t notice me in the shop, so they’re using this chance to satisfy their curiosity. That's fine by me. I act as casual as possible; I walk past the group, looking straight ahead; grab a slice of bread and head back to my cell like usual.

It seems that this time two or three of them, recognizing my walk, spotted me at last. I should think it was about time.

It seems that this time two or three of them, recognizing my walk, finally noticed me. I’d say it was about time.

Soon after I am in the cell my friend Joe, the gallery boy, comes along with the hot beverage called tea, which is a little later than usual to-night. He halts at the door.

Soon after I'm in the cell, my friend Joe, the gallery guy, shows up with a hot drink called tea, which is a bit late tonight. He stops at the door.

“Tea, Tommy?”

"Tea, Tommy?"

[Pg 124]One of the prisoners has sent me a letter in which he addresses me as “old pal.”

[Pg 124]One of the inmates sent me a letter where he calls me “old buddy.”

I think there is no doubt that the barriers are down now.

I think there's no doubt that the barriers are down now.

 

 


CHAPTER IX

WEDNESDAY EVENING

 

In my cell, later Wednesday evening, October 2.

In my cell, later on Wednesday evening, October 2.

Upon arriving back here this afternoon, and before sitting down to my usual supper of bread and water, I shave leisurely. In spite of the jar of hot water which George has kindly brought to the cell before I am locked in for the night, my toilet arrangements leave much to be desired. It is true I have shaved at times under greater disadvantages. As, for instance, in camp, when I have had to use the inside of my watch-cover for a mirror. Here in prison I have at least a real mirror, such as it is.

Upon arriving back here this afternoon, and before sitting down to my usual dinner of bread and water, I shave at a relaxed pace. Even with the hot water that George has kindly brought to my cell before I'm locked in for the night, my grooming situation isn't great. It's true I've shaved under worse conditions before. For example, in camp, when I've had to use the inside of my watch cover as a mirror. Here in prison, at least I have an actual mirror, as basic as it is.

My toilet completed, I make as much of a meal as I can of bread and water. Then I take up my journal to chronicle the events of the day.

My toilet finished, I make the best meal I can with bread and water. Then I grab my journal to write about the day's events.

The twenty minutes of musical pandemonium come and go, the violinist as usual being the first[Pg 126] to begin. Perhaps he may be the fortunate possessor of a watch. Then, also as usual, a silence follows, rendered all the more profound by reason of the previous discord. The cell-house has settled down for the night. Only a few muffled sounds make the stillness more distinctly felt. Then——

The twenty minutes of musical chaos come and go, with the violinist, as usual, being the first[Pg 126] to start. Maybe he’s lucky enough to own a watch. Then, also as usual, a silence follows, made even deeper because of the earlier noise. The cell-house has quieted down for the night. Only a few muted sounds make the stillness feel even more intense. Then——

Suddenly the unearthly quiet is shattered by a terrifying uproar.

Suddenly, the eerie silence is broken by a terrifying noise.

It is too far away to hear at first anything with distinctness; it is all a confused and hideous mass of shouting—a shouting first of a few, then of more, then of many voices. I have never heard anything more dreadful—in the full meaning of the word—full of dread. My heart is thumping like a trip hammer, and the cold shivers run up and down my back.

It’s too far away to hear anything clearly at first; it’s just a chaotic and terrifying jumble of shouts—first a few, then more, then lots of voices. I’ve never heard anything more awful—in every sense of the word—full of fear. My heart is pounding like a jackhammer, and cold shivers are running up and down my back.

I jump to the door of the cell, pressing my ear close against the cold iron bars. Then I can distinguish a few words sounding against the background of the confused outcry. “Stop that!” “Leave him alone!” “Damn you, stop that!” Then some dull thuds; I even fancy that I hear something like a groan, along with the continued confused and violent shouting.

I rush to the cell door, pressing my ear against the cold iron bars. I can then make out a few words rising above the chaos of shouting. “Stop that!” “Leave him alone!” “Damn you, stop that!” Then I hear some heavy thuds; I even think I hear something like a groan, along with the ongoing loud and aggressive yelling.

What can it be?

What could it be?

While I am perfectly aware that I am not in the least likely to be harmed, I am shivering with something close akin to a chill of actual[Pg 127] terror. If anyone near at hand were to give vent to a sudden yell, I feel as if I might easily lose my self-control and shout and bang my door with the rest of them.

While I know I'm not really in any danger, I'm trembling with a kind of chill that feels like real terror. If anyone nearby were to suddenly scream, I feel like I might just lose it and start yelling and banging on my door along with them.

The cries continue, accompanied with other noises that I cannot make out. Then my attention is attracted by whispering down at one of the lower windows in the outer wall of the corridor opposite my cell. It is so dark outside that I can see nothing, not even the dim shapes of the whisperers; but apparently there are two of them, and they are looking in and commenting on the disturbance. Their sinister whispering is very unpleasant. I wonder if they can see what is going on. I feel inclined to call out and ask them, but I do not know who they are; and I do know that such an act would be entirely against the rules and liable to provoke severe punishment, and I am not yet ready to be sent to the jail.

The cries keep going, mixed with other sounds that I can’t quite make out. Then I notice some whispering coming from one of the lower windows in the outer wall of the corridor across from my cell. It’s so dark outside that I can’t see anything, not even the faint shapes of the whisperers; but it seems like there are two of them, and they are peering in, commenting on the commotion. Their creepy whispers are really unsettling. I wonder if they can see what’s happening. I feel like shouting out and asking them, but I have no idea who they are; and I know that doing that would totally break the rules and could lead to serious punishment, and I’m not ready to be sent to jail yet.

The shouts die down. There are a few more vague and uncertain sounds—all the more dreadful for being uncertain; somewhere an iron door clangs! then stillness follows, like that of the grave.

The shouting fades away. There are a few more indistinct and uncertain noises—all the more frightening because they're unclear; somewhere, an iron door slams shut! Then silence follows, like that of the grave.

It is useless—I can make nothing of it all; so I sit down again and try to compose my mind to write, but the effort is not very successful. Presently, just after the bell at the City Hall has given[Pg 128] its eight o’clock stroke, the Warden appears quietly at the opening of my cell.

It’s pointless—I can’t make sense of any of it; so I sit down again and try to collect my thoughts to write, but it’s not going very well. Soon, just after the bell at the City Hall has struck[Pg 128] eight o’clock, the Warden quietly shows up at the entrance of my cell.

“Something has happened,” I begin breathlessly, “I don’t know what it is, but it ought to be looked into——”

“Something’s happened,” I start, out of breath, “I don’t know what it is, but it needs to be checked out—”

I come to an abrupt stop, for I am suddenly aware of the figure of a man standing in the shadow just behind the Warden.

I come to a sudden halt because I just noticed a man standing in the shadow right behind the Warden.

“Who is that?” I ask, and he steps farther along the gallery, but not where the light from the cell can strike him.

“Who is that?” I ask, and he moves further down the hallway, but not into the area where the light from the cell can reach him.

“Only the night officer,” answers the Warden.

“Just the night officer,” replies the Warden.

That is all very well; but why was the night officer lurking in the dark behind the Warden? I decide to ask him a plain, direct question; for he has already heard what is uppermost in my mind.

That’s all well and good; but why was the night officer hiding in the dark behind the Warden? I choose to ask him a straightforward question because he’s already picked up on what’s on my mind.

“Captain,” I say, politely, “what was that noise I heard a short while ago?”

“Captain,” I say politely, “what was that noise I heard a little while ago?”

The officer, pretending that he has not heard my question, turns to the Warden with some perfectly irrelevant remark, and moves off, along the gallery.

The officer, acting as if he didn't hear my question, turns to the Warden with some completely unrelated comment and walks away down the gallery.

It strikes me as a curious proceeding.

It seems like a strange thing to do.

“Warden,” I begin again, after waiting until the man must be out of hearing, “I heard shouting off in the corridor somewhere, not very long ago; and I am afraid something bad has happened. Would it not be well to find out about it?”

“Warden,” I start again, after waiting until the guy is out of earshot, “I heard shouting somewhere in the corridor a little while ago, and I’m worried something bad has happened. Shouldn’t we check on it?”

This the Warden promises to do, so I stifle[Pg 129] my fears as best I can and turn to the events of the day. I report progress; and we again debate whether or not I had better make a change of occupation. Last evening we decided that I should remain still another day in the basket-shop; for it seemed as if I were getting as much out of my experience there as I could anywhere. The Warden is inclined to agree with me that we have been singularly fortunate so far, in the working out of our plans, and that it might be a mistake to change. Jack Murphy, when I talked with him about it to-day, said, “What good would it do you, to go and work in a shop where you can’t talk? You can learn everything there is to know about such a shop by spending ten minutes there, any time.” Then he added, with a smile, “You know, Brown, we don’t want to lose you here.” I hope this last is true, and I think it is; but, aside from that, his reasoning impresses me as good.

This is what the Warden promises to do, so I push down my fears as best I can and turn to the day's events. I report on our progress, and we debate again whether I should switch careers. Last night, we agreed that I should stay another day in the basket shop since it seems I’m getting as much out of my experience there as I could anywhere else. The Warden tends to agree with me that we've been remarkably lucky so far in executing our plans and that changing might be a mistake. Jack Murphy, when I talked to him about it today, said, “What good would it do you to go work in a shop where you can’t talk? You can learn everything you need to know about that kind of shop in just ten minutes.” Then he added with a smile, “You know, Brown, we don’t want to lose you here.” I hope that’s true, and I think it is; but beyond that, I find his reasoning quite valid.

So the Warden and I agree that I am to stay in the basket-shop at least another day, and he leaves me to my thoughts and my fears.

So the Warden and I agree that I should stay in the basket shop for at least another day, and he leaves me alone with my thoughts and my worries.

I shall now put away this journal, and prepare my bed for the night. I fear that my sleep will be haunted by echoes of those dreadful sounds.

I will now close this journal and get my bed ready for the night. I'm worried that my sleep will be disturbed by the echoes of those terrible sounds.


It may be well to interrupt my journal here, and explain the noises of Wednesday evening. As will be seen in Thursday’s journal, I heard many of the details[Pg 130] the next day, but it was some time before I learned the whole story. I have examined personally several eye-witnesses of the occurrences and am convinced that the following statement is accurate.

It might be a good idea to pause my journal here and explain the sounds from Wednesday evening. As I’ll detail in Thursday’s entry, I heard many of the specifics[Pg 130] the next day, but it took a while for me to get the complete story. I’ve spoken to several people who witnessed the events firsthand and I believe the following account is correct.

There had lately been sent up from Sing Sing a young prisoner named Lavinsky. He is physically a weak youth; pale, thin, and undersized. His weight is about one hundred and twenty pounds; his age, twenty-one. On the charge of being impertinent to the officer of his shop, he was sent down to the jail, as the punishment cells are called, and kept there for five days in the dark on bread and water. Then he was allowed to go back to work. He did so, but was of course utterly unfit for work. The next day he was ill and remained in his cell, which was on the fourth tier on the south side of the north wing. This was on the opposite side of the cell-block from where I locked in, and a considerable distance down toward the western end of the wing; which accounts for my not hearing more distinctly the sounds which aroused in me such feelings of terror.

There had recently arrived from Sing Sing a young inmate named Lavinsky. He is a physically frail young man; pale, thin, and small for his age. He weighs about one hundred and twenty pounds and is twenty-one years old. Because he was considered disrespectful to the officer in charge of his work area, he was sent to the jail, as they call the punishment cells, and kept there for five days in the dark on just bread and water. After that, he was allowed to return to work. He did so, but was obviously completely unfit for it. The next day, he was ill and stayed in his cell, which was on the fourth tier on the south side of the north wing. This was on the opposite side of the cell block from where I was locked in, and quite a distance toward the western end of the wing; that’s why I didn't hear the sounds that stirred such terror in me more clearly.

The day that Lavinsky returned to work was Tuesday, my second day in prison. On Wednesday he was afflicted with severe diarrhea all day, but for some reason, in spite of his repeated requests, the doctor was not summoned. The reason probably was that Lavinsky was in the state known in prison as bughouse—that is to say, at least flighty if not temporarily out of his mind. He himself, as I have subsequently found in talking with him, has no very distinct recollection of the events of that Wednesday evening. If not out of his mind, he was certainly not fully possessed of it.

The day Lavinsky came back to work was Tuesday, my second day in prison. On Wednesday, he struggled with severe diarrhea all day, but for some reason, despite his repeated requests, the doctor wasn’t called. The likely reason was that Lavinsky was in a state known in prison as bughouse—that is, at least a bit off-kilter, if not temporarily insane. He himself, as I later learned in conversations with him, doesn’t have a clear memory of the events of that Wednesday evening. If he wasn’t out of his mind, he was definitely not thinking clearly.

In the evening, after his failure to get the doctor,[Pg 131] Lavinsky created some disturbance by calling out remarks which violated the quiet of the cell-block. I understand that the form this took was something of this sort: “If you want to kill me, why don’t you do it at once, and not torture me to death?” He seemed to be possessed with the idea that his life was in danger. I do not know in what condition he was when first placed in jail, but I do know that the time he spent down in that hellhole, five days, was quite sufficient to account for his mental condition when he came out.

In the evening, after he failed to get the doctor,[Pg 131] Lavinsky caused a disturbance by shouting comments that broke the quiet in the cell block. I heard he yelled something like, “If you want to kill me, why don’t you just do it already instead of torturing me to death?” He seemed convinced that his life was at risk. I’m not sure what state he was in when he was first locked up, but I do know that the five days he spent in that hellhole were more than enough to explain his mental state when he got out.

Now here was a young man, hardly more than a lad, in a sick and nervous condition that had produced temporary derangement of mind. What course did the System take in dealing with that suffering human being? Two keepers opened his cell, made a rush for him, and knocked him down. One eye-witness says that they black-jacked him, that is, rendered him unconscious by striking him on the head with the instrument of that name. During the brief scuffle in the cell the iron pail and the bucket were overturned. Then, after being handcuffed, the unresisting if not unconscious youth was flung out of his cell with such violence that, if it had not been for a convict trusty who stood by, he would have slipped under the rail of the gallery and fallen to the stone floor of the corridor four stories below, and been either killed or crippled for life.

Now here was a young man, barely more than a boy, in a sick and anxious state that had caused a temporary mental breakdown. How did the System handle this suffering individual? Two guards opened his cell, rushed at him, and knocked him down. One witness claims they black-jacked him, meaning they knocked him unconscious by hitting him on the head with that tool. During the short struggle in the cell, the iron pail and the bucket were knocked over. Then, after being handcuffed, the compliant, if not unconscious, young man was thrown out of his cell with such force that, if it hadn't been for a trusty inmate standing nearby, he would have slipped under the railing of the gallery and fallen to the stone floor of the corridor four stories below, likely resulting in either death or lifelong injury.

Then the two keepers, being reinforced by a third, dragged their victim roughly downstairs, partly on his back, kicked and beat him on the way, and carried him before the Principal Keeper, who promptly sent him down to the jail again.

Then the two guards, joined by a third, roughly pulled their victim down the stairs, partly on his back, kicking and hitting him along the way, and brought him before the Principal Keeper, who immediately sent him back to the jail.

Let it be remembered that this poor fellow is a slight,[Pg 132] undersized, feeble specimen of humanity, whom one able-bodied man ought to have had little trouble in handling—even if any use of force were necessary.

Let’s remember that this poor guy is a small, [Pg 132] weak example of a human being, who any capable man should have had no problem dealing with—even if some force was needed.

This scene of violence could not pass unnoticed; and the loud protests and outcries of the prisoners whose cells were near by, as they heard and saw the treatment accorded to their helpless comrade, were the sounds I heard far away in my cell. One of the trusties who, having the freedom of the corridors, was enabled to see most of the occurrence, so far forgot his position as to venture the opinion that it was a “pretty raw deal.” This remark was overheard by an officer; and the trusty at once received the warning that he had better keep his mouth shut and not talk about what didn’t concern him.

This violent scene didn’t go unnoticed; the loud protests and cries of the prisoners in nearby cells, witnessing the treatment of their helpless comrade, were the sounds I heard from my distant cell. One of the trusties, who had the freedom to move around the corridors and saw most of what happened, forgot his place and dared to say it was a “pretty raw deal.” An officer overheard this comment, and the trusty was immediately warned to shut up and mind his own business.

If it is realized that these officers have what almost amounts to the power of life and death over the convicts, it can be understood that such a warning was not one to be lightly disregarded.

If it's understood that these officers have what is essentially the power of life and death over the convicts, it's clear that such a warning shouldn't be taken lightly.

Lavinsky, having been landed again in the jail, was kept there from Wednesday evening until Saturday afternoon. What special care or attention was given him during that time I am unable to state, but there is no reason to suppose that any exception was made in his case. Like the other denizens of the jail, he was fed only on bread and a very insufficient quantity of water—three gills in twenty-four hours—and also experienced the intolerable conditions of that vile place.

Lavinsky, having been put back in jail, was kept there from Wednesday evening until Saturday afternoon. I can't say what special care or attention he received during that time, but there's no reason to think he was treated any differently. Like the other inmates, he was fed only bread and a very small amount of water—three gills in twenty-four hours—and also endured the horrible conditions of that terrible place.

On Saturday afternoon, three days later, he was still down there, and still bughouse. Then as there was a disturbing rumor among the officials that I was planning to be sent to the jail, he was taken away about an[Pg 133] hour before my arrival. His cell was the very one which I occupied, after it had been thoroughly cleaned.

On Saturday afternoon, three days later, he was still down there, and still out of his mind. Then, as there was a troubling rumor among the officials that I was about to be sent to jail, he was taken away about an[Pg 133] hour before I arrived. His cell was the exact one I had occupied, after it had been completely cleaned.

He was removed from the jail to a special cell, where his case was taken up personally by the Warden, and where the poor youth was at last put under the care of the doctor, and received some humane and sensible treatment. When I first saw him, some three weeks after my term had ended, he had not become entirely rational, although he has since recovered himself. As I have already said, he had at first no clear recollection of the brutal treatment of which he had been the victim, nor in fact of anything that occurred at the time. Perhaps it was all the better that this was so.

He was taken out of jail and placed in a special cell, where the Warden personally handled his case, and where the poor young man finally received care from a doctor, along with some compassionate and sensible treatment. When I first saw him, about three weeks after my sentence was up, he wasn't fully rational yet, although he has since gotten better. As I mentioned earlier, he initially had no clear memory of the brutal treatment he had suffered, nor did he remember much of anything that happened during that time. Maybe it was for the best that it was this way.

An exceptionally intelligent convict, whose term expired soon after these events, and who could have had no earthly object in misrepresenting the matter, described to me after his release the episode in detail. He had been an eye-witness of the entire occurrence, as he was standing on the gallery where he could see everything that happened. He summed it up in these exact words: “Mr. Osborn, it was one of the most brutal things that I have ever seen, in all my experience in prison.”

An extremely smart inmate, whose sentence ended shortly after these events, and who had no reason to twist the truth, told me about the incident in detail after he got out. He had witnessed the whole thing since he was on the balcony where he could see everything that took place. He summed it up in these exact words: “Mr. Osborn, it was one of the most brutal things that I have ever seen, in all my time in prison.”

His story is fully corroborated by what I have learned, upon careful inquiry from other men.

His story is completely supported by what I've learned after thoroughly asking other guys.

Doubtless some will say that the statements of convicts are not to be believed. That touches upon one of the very worst features of the situation. No discrimination is ever made. It is not admitted that, while one convict may be a liar, another may be entirely truthful; that men differ in prison exactly as in the world outside.[Pg 134] It is held, quite as a matter of course, that they are all liars, and an officer’s word will be taken against that of a convict or any number of convicts. The result is that the officers feel themselves practically immune from any evil consequences to them from their own acts of injustice or violence. What follows from this is inevitable. Our prisons have often been the scenes of intolerable brutality, for which it has been useless for the victims to seek redress. They can only cower and endure in silence; or be driven into insanity by a hopeless revolt against the System.

No doubt some will claim that the statements of convicts can't be trusted. This points to one of the worst aspects of the situation. There’s never any distinction made. It’s not acknowledged that while one convict might lie, another could be completely honest; that people in prison vary just like those outside. [Pg 134] It’s assumed, as a matter of routine, that they are all dishonest, and an officer’s word will be taken over that of a convict or even multiple convicts. The outcome is that officers believe they are basically immune from any repercussions for their own acts of injustice or violence. What happens next is predictable. Our prisons have often been places of extreme brutality, where it’s been pointless for victims to seek justice. They can only shrink back and suffer in silence or be driven to madness by a futile rebellion against the System.

Not so very long ago one of the prisoners at Auburn, on a hot night in summer, as an officer was shutting the windows in the corridor outside, called out from his cell, “Oh, Captain, can’t you let us have a little more air?”

Not too long ago, one of the inmates at Auburn, on a hot summer night, called out from his cell as an officer was closing the windows in the corridor outside, “Oh, Captain, can’t you give us a bit more air?”

The officer promptly went to the tier of cells whence the voice came and made a chalk-mark around the keyhole of one of the locks. When a man is “round-chalked” he is not released when the rest of the prisoners are let out of their cells, but reserved for punishment. In this case the officer mistook the cell from which the voice had come, and round-chalked the prisoner who was locked in next to the one who had dared to ask for more air.

The officer quickly went to the row of cells where the voice was coming from and marked a circle around the keyhole of one of the locks with chalk. When someone is “round-chalked,” they are not let out with the other prisoners when it's time, but are kept for punishment. In this situation, the officer got the wrong cell and round-chalked the prisoner who was locked up next to the one who had dared to ask for more air.

The next morning, finding that his neighbor was about to receive the punishment intended for himself, the culprit promptly told the officer that he was the guilty party, and if anyone was to be punished, he ought to be. This honorable action was allowed no weight. He had some of his hard-earned money taken away from him, three days of his commutation cancelled, and the disc[Pg 135] removed from his sleeve as a mark of disgrace; in short, he was severely punished—as his innocent neighbor would have been, had he not prevented it by taking the punishment upon himself.

The next morning, noticing that his neighbor was about to face the punishment meant for him, the guilty party immediately told the officer that he was the one responsible, and if anyone should be punished, it should be him. This honorable act was given no consideration. He had some of his hard-earned money taken away, three days of his commutation revoked, and the disc[Pg 135] removed from his sleeve as a mark of shame; in short, he was heavily punished—just as his innocent neighbor would have been if he hadn’t stepped in to take the punishment himself.

The point is this: that no convict has any rights—not even the right to be believed; not even the right to reasonably considerate treatment. He is exposed without safeguard of any sort to whatever outrage an inconsiderate or brutal keeper may choose to inflict upon him; and you cannot under the present system guard against such inconsiderate and brutal treatment.

The point is this: no convict has any rights—not even the right to be believed; not even the right to decent treatment. They are completely vulnerable to whatever abuse an indifferent or cruel guard decides to impose on them; and with the current system, there's no way to prevent such thoughtless and harsh treatment.

I should not like to be understood as asserting that all keepers are brutal, or even a majority of them. I hope and believe that by far the greater number of the officers serving in our prisons are naturally honorable and kindly men, but so were the slave-owners before the Civil War. And just as it was perfectly fair to judge of the right and wrong of slavery not by any question of the fair treatment of the majority of slaves, but by the hideous possibilities which frequently became no less hideous facts, so we must recognize, in dealing with our Prison System, that many really well-meaning men will operate a system in which the brutality of an officer goes unpunished, often in a brutal manner.

I don't want to imply that all prison guards are cruel, or even most of them. I hope and believe that the majority of the officers working in our prisons are genuinely honorable and kind individuals, but so were the slave owners before the Civil War. Just as it was completely fair to evaluate the morality of slavery not by how the majority of slaves were treated, but by the horrific potential that often turned into horrific realities, we must acknowledge, when it comes to our prison system, that many well-meaning people operate within a system where an officer's brutality goes unpunished, often in a harsh way.

The reason of this is not far to seek—a reason which also obtained in the slave system. The most common and powerful impulse that drives an ordinary, well-meaning man to brutality is fear. Raise the cry of “Fire” in a crowded place, and many an excellent person will discard in the frantic moment every vestige of civilization. The elemental brute will emerge, and he will trample[Pg 136] down women and children, will perform almost any crime in the calendar in his mad rush for safety. The truth of this has been demonstrated many times.

The reason for this is clear—it’s the same reason that applied in the slave system. The most common and powerful drive that pushes an ordinary, good-natured person to acts of violence is fear. Shout “Fire” in a crowded space, and many decent people will abandon all sense of civility in their panic. The primal instinct will take over, and they will trample[Pg 136] over women and children, committing almost any crime in their frantic attempt to escape. This truth has been proven many times.

In prison, where each officer believes that his life is in constant danger, the keeper tends to become callous, the sense of that danger blunts his higher qualities. He comes to regard with mingled contempt and fear those dumb, gray creatures over whom he has such irresponsible power—creatures who can at any moment rise in revolt and give him the death blow. And as they undoubtedly possess that power, he is always fearful that they may use it, for are they not dangerous “criminals”? And undoubtedly there is basis for his fear, for some of those men are dangerous, rendered more so by the nerve-racking System.

In prison, where every officer feels like their life is always at risk, the guard often becomes hardened; the constant threat dulls his better qualities. He starts to look at those silent, gray figures with a mix of disdain and fear—figures over whom he holds such unchecked power—figures who could rise up at any moment and deliver a fatal blow. Since they definitely have that power, he’s always anxious they might use it, especially since they’re labeled as “criminals.” There’s good reason for his worry because some of those men are genuinely dangerous, made even more so by the stressful System.

I can conceive no more terribly disintegrating moral experience than that of being a keeper over convicts. However much I pity the prisoners, I think that spiritually their position is far preferable to that of their guards. These latter are placed in an impossible position; for they are not to blame for the System under which their finer qualities have so few chances of being exercised.

I can't imagine a more devastating moral experience than being in charge of convicts. No matter how much I feel for the prisoners, I believe their situation is spiritually much better than that of their guards. The guards are in an impossible position; they aren't to blame for the system that gives their better qualities so little opportunity to shine.

But I have been betrayed into rather more of a discussion than I intended, a discussion out of place in this chronicle of facts. I have inserted so much by way of explanation both of what I have narrated in the foregoing chapter and of what I shall have to tell in those that are to come.

But I've ended up discussing more than I meant to, a discussion that doesn’t really fit into this account of facts. I've added quite a bit of explanation about what I've described in the previous chapter and what I’ll be sharing in the upcoming ones.

Since the above was written I have run across a passage in a book on English prisons which confirms so strikingly[Pg 137] one of the statements just expressed that room must be made for it. “The real atmosphere of Dartmoor,” says the author, Mr. Albert Paterson, writing of Dartmoor Prison, “so far as the men responsible for its well-being and discipline are concerned, is that of a handful of whites on the American frontier among ten times their number of Apache Indians. ‘We stand on a volcano,’ an officer said to the writer in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘If our convicts here had opportunity to combine and could trust one another, the place would be wrecked in an hour.’”

Since the above was written, I have come across a passage in a book about English prisons that strikingly confirms one of the points just made[Pg 137]. “The real atmosphere of Dartmoor,” says the author, Mr. Albert Paterson, writing about Dartmoor Prison, “as far as the people in charge of its safety and discipline are concerned, is like a small group of white settlers on the American frontier surrounded by ten times their number of Apache Indians. ‘We stand on a volcano,’ an officer told me in a straightforward way. ‘If our convicts had the chance to band together and could actually trust each other, this place would be destroyed in an hour.’”

Aside from the author’s ridiculously belated simile of the American frontier, we have here an accurate and forcible statement of the prison keeper’s constant nervous apprehension of danger and the necessity of being prepared at any moment to sell his life as dearly as possible. And, of course, this feeling of the keeper increases his severity and the severity increases the danger, and so we have the vicious circle complete.

Aside from the author’s absurdly delayed comparison to the American frontier, this clearly shows the prison keeper’s ongoing anxiety about danger and the need to be ready at any moment to defend his life fiercely. And, naturally, this anxiety makes the keeper harsher, which in turn heightens the danger, creating a complete vicious cycle.

I am not now in any way disputing the necessity of a keeper being constantly on his guard, I am not saying whether this view of things is right or wrong, and when I use the word fear I do not mean cowardice—a very different thing, for a brave man can feel fear. I am simply trying to point out that in prison, as elsewhere, when men are dominated by fear, brutality is the inevitable result.

I’m not arguing against the need for a guard to always be vigilant; I’m not saying if this perspective is right or wrong. When I say fear, I don’t mean cowardice—that’s something else entirely, since a courageous person can still feel fear. I’m just trying to highlight that in prison, as in other places, when people are overwhelmed by fear, brutality is the unavoidable outcome.

 

 


CHAPTER X

THURSDAY

 

In my cell, Thursday evening, October 2.

In my cell, Thursday evening, October 2.

This morning is cloudy and dark; it has been raining heavily during the night, and the atmosphere is damp and oppressive. Oppressive too is the feeling left by the unexplained occurrences of last evening.

This morning is cloudy and dark; it poured heavily during the night, and the air feels damp and heavy. The unsettling feeling from the mysterious events of last night is also weighing on me.

My first visitor is Officer X, the man who wouldn’t answer my question last evening when he was standing back of the Warden and I asked him what that noise was. This morning he is exceedingly bland and also, like the weather, oppressive. He is so very anxious to know how I passed the night; and I tell him. He then says that a thousand people have inquired of him about me; and I remark that I’m glad my experiment is arousing so much interest. He then says that several men have said to him that I must have something special in mind, that I must[Pg 139] be here for some ulterior purpose, and they believe the result will be some dismissals among the officers; to which I say that doubtless there are many people who, not having taken the trouble to read my address in the chapel last Sunday, although it was printed in the newspapers, are quite ready to believe anything except the simple truth.

My first visitor is Officer X, the guy who wouldn’t answer my question last night when he was standing behind the Warden, and I asked him what that noise was. This morning, he’s incredibly bland and, like the weather, oppressive. He’s really eager to know how I spent the night, and I tell him. He then mentions that a thousand people have asked about me; I reply that I’m glad my experiment is generating so much interest. He says that several men have told him I must have something special planned, that I must[Pg 139] be here for some hidden agenda, and they think it will lead to some officers being dismissed; to which I respond that there are certainly many people who, not bothering to read my speech in the chapel last Sunday—even though it was published in the newspapers—are more than ready to believe anything but the simple truth.

He then enters upon a long rigmarole, the gist of which is how necessary it is for a man to do his duty; with which novel sentiment I express my entire agreement. Then he adds that he has always been careful to do his own duty; upon which I make the startling comment that it is in the long run the best course to pursue. Then he casually turns the conversation around to show how closely connected he is to various admirers of my father and myself, and gracefully insinuates that he also shares these feelings; to which I can answer nothing, as this sort of thing always reduces me to embarrassed and wrathful silence. I hate to tell a man that he’s a fool, and I hate quite as much to have him take me for one.

He then goes into a long-winded explanation about how important it is for a person to do their duty, and I completely agree with that point. He goes on to say that he has always been careful to do his own duty, and I make the surprising comment that in the long run, that's the best approach. Then he casually shifts the conversation to highlight how well-connected he is with various admirers of my father and me, and he subtly suggests that he feels the same way; to which I have no response, as this kind of thing always leaves me feeling awkward and angry. I hate telling a man that he’s foolish, and I equally dislike it when he thinks I am.

As the officer stands there talking, it is borne in upon me that he not only knows all about last night’s disturbance, but that he was probably concerned in it, and is now deliberately trying to switch me off the track. He would not answer my question last night, and he avoids all reference[Pg 140] to the matter this morning, substituting for the explanation which he knows I want, for he heard me speak to the Warden about it last evening, all this stuff I have outlined. Instead of being frank and telling the plain truth about last night’s occurrence, he is trying to flatter me and pull the wool over my eyes.

As the officer talks, it hits me that he not only knows everything about last night’s incident, but he was probably involved in it and is now deliberately trying to mislead me. He wouldn’t answer my question last night, and this morning he avoids any mention of the situation, instead offering up all this stuff I’ve laid out, even though he knows I want the explanation he heard me ask the Warden about last evening. Instead of being honest and sharing the truth about what happened last night, he’s trying to flatter me and pull the wool over my eyes.

He walks away and the taste in my mouth is not pleasant.

He walks away, and the taste in my mouth is not good.

Soon Captain Kane unlocks the levers, and George presses them down to release us for a new day. I regret to say that I again create some confusion on the gallery by being late; but, as there is trouble with the lock on the tier around the corner, I catch up while the front of the line is held back by the delay.

Soon Captain Kane unlocks the levers, and George pushes them down to set us free for a new day. I regret to say that I create some confusion on the gallery again by being late; but, since there's an issue with the lock on the tier around the corner, I catch up while the front of the line is held back by the delay.

Marching down the yard, my interest is aroused by a long, whispered conversation between Roger Landry at my side and Jack Bell who is immediately in front of him. Neither is farther than a foot or so away, yet my ears are not sensitive enough to catch a single word of what they say; and when I glance toward Landry I am unable to detect the faintest motion of his lips, although the talk is still going on.

Marching down the yard, I become curious about a long, whispered conversation between Roger Landry next to me and Jack Bell who is directly in front of him. They are only about a foot apart, yet my ears aren't sharp enough to pick up a single word; and when I look over at Landry, I can't see the slightest movement of his lips, even though they are still talking.

Upon return from bucket duty I sweep out the cell, finding it for some reason especially dirty. Soon after I have finished this task, I come into possession, through a channel it is best not to[Pg 141] specify, of an account of last night’s performance, including the names of most of the actors. I judge that it is a bad business. This is the story as it comes to me.[9]

Upon returning from bucket duty, I sweep out the cell and notice that it feels especially dirty for some reason. Shortly after I finish this task, I get a hold of a report about last night’s performance, which includes the names of most of the actors, through a channel that's best left unspecified. I conclude that it’s not a good situation. This is the story as I hear it.[9]

Three of the officers, among them X (just as I suspected), went into the cell of a young prisoner on one of the upper tiers of the south side, hit him over the head, handcuffed and dragged him downstairs very roughly. His offense seems to have been that he is bughouse through confinement in the jail. So in their enlightened wisdom they have sent him back there; to cure him, I suppose, on the homeopathic principle, similia similibus curantur.

Three of the officers, including X (just as I expected), entered the cell of a young prisoner on one of the upper tiers on the south side, hit him over the head, handcuffed him, and roughly dragged him downstairs. His crime appears to be that he has lost his mind from being locked up in jail. So, in their so-called wisdom, they’ve sent him back there; to cure him, I guess, based on the homeopathic principle, similia similibus curantur.

Before the march to breakfast George kindly brings me another package of sugar. It is evidently of distinct advantage, in more ways than one, to stand well with the trusties; I wish I knew them all, but possibly some may be afraid to show themselves at the door of my cell. I have a vague feeling that it is being closely watched.

Before heading to breakfast, George kindly brings me another packet of sugar. It's clearly beneficial, in more ways than one, to get along with the trusties; I wish I knew all of them, but some might be too afraid to come to my cell door. I have a nagging feeling that I'm being closely watched.

Breakfast to-day consists of some kind of [Pg 142]porridge, with the usual bootleg and punk. Thanks to George, I do not need the sugar which Landry again offers me; and, having more than enough for my own portion of porridge, I silently pass what I have left to my neighbor on the other side, who receives it without daring to express any evidence of gratitude.

Breakfast today consists of some kind of [Pg 142] porridge, with the usual bootleg and punk. Thanks to George, I don't need the sugar that Landry offers me again; and, having more than enough for my own portion of porridge, I silently pass what I have left to my neighbor on the other side, who receives it without daring to show any sign of gratitude.

Arrived back in my cell, George stops to have a pleasant chat with me, and tells me a little about himself and his experiences. Then, after the usual operations attendant upon our release from the cells, we march down the yard and arrive at the basket-shop, ready for the business of the day.

Arriving back in my cell, George takes a moment to have a friendly chat with me and shares a bit about himself and his experiences. Then, after the usual procedures associated with our release from the cells, we walk down to the yard and reach the basket shop, prepared for the day's work.

Murphy is on hand with his usual cheerful smile:

Murphy is here with his usual bright smile:

“Well, good morning, Tom.”

"Hey, good morning, Tom."

“Good morning, Jack.” And upon this more intimate footing we commence our fourth day’s work together.

“Good morning, Jack.” And on this more personal level, we start our fourth day of work together.

As I left a bottom incomplete last evening, I begin work with vigor in order to finish it; but unfortunately the rattan we are now using is so stiff and rotten that it not only breaks constantly and is very hard on the fingers, but makes good workmanship quite impossible. Finally we are compelled to stop altogether, while the withes are taken and soaked in hot water, instead of the cold water in which they have been lying over night. Once in a while we have been getting[Pg 143] soft and pliable withes that make work easy and pleasant, but most of them have been very brittle and difficult to handle.

As I left a project unfinished last night, I started working energetically to complete it; but unfortunately, the rattan we’re using is so stiff and rotten that it not only breaks constantly and is really tough on the fingers, but also makes quality work impossible. Eventually, we have to stop entirely while we take the withes and soak them in hot water, instead of the cold water they’ve been sitting in overnight. Occasionally, we’ve been lucky to get[Pg 143] soft and flexible withes that make working enjoyable, but most of them have been very brittle and hard to handle.

While we are waiting for material, I hear the name of Brown called out; and find that I am told off, along with Jack and a number of others, to help pull up another car. This time it is lumber and not coal; the identical lumber, in fact, that stood in front of the north windows and caused the P. K. such anxiety about our eyesight yesterday afternoon.

While we wait for supplies, I hear someone call out Brown's name; and I find out that I, along with Jack and several others, am assigned to help pull up another car. This time it's lumber instead of coal; in fact, it's the same lumber that was in front of the north windows and worried the P. K. about our eyesight yesterday afternoon.

The gang is duly counted and handed over to the officer charged with the job; and soon we are enjoying the exercise of successive tugs of war with the block and tackle, similar to those of Tuesday. It is not so hard a job as that was, however, there being but one car and that a comparatively light one; so Jack and I regret that our spell of exercise is not longer and stronger. It is far better than nothing, however, and we return, refreshed and invigorated, to our basket-work.

The group is counted and handed over to the officer in charge; soon we're having fun with a series of tug-of-war games using the block and tackle, just like on Tuesday. It's not as difficult as that time, though, since there's only one car and it's a lighter one. So Jack and I wish our workout lasted longer and was more intense. Still, it’s way better than doing nothing, and we go back to our basket-weaving feeling refreshed and energized.

While we are waiting for working material, Jack approaches me cautiously, leaning against the table with a very listless air, as if nothing were further from his thoughts than a subject of serious import.

While we wait for the work materials, Jack approaches me cautiously, leaning against the table with a very bored demeanor, as if the last thing on his mind is anything serious.

“Did you hear anything last night, Tom?” he asks, turning his face just enough in my direction[Pg 144] to reach me with his voice, which is subdued to its lowest tone.

“Did you hear anything last night, Tom?” he asks, slightly turning his face toward me[Pg 144] so I can catch his voice, which is at its quietest.

“Did I? I should think I did,” is my low reply. “What can you tell me about it?”

“Did I? I think I did,” I answer quietly. “What can you tell me about it?”

Jack repeats the story substantially as I have already heard it. The affair happened in one of the upper tiers almost directly over him, but he could see nothing of it, and he only heard the details through others. He thinks it is a bad matter, and adds one new item of information. He says that a certain trusty has threatened to go to the Warden about the case; he told the P. K. to his face that he would do so, and the P. K. threatened the trusty with retaliation if he did; but that the man feels so outraged by the brutality he witnessed that he intends to do it in spite of the P. K.[10]

Jack tells the story pretty much the same way I’ve heard it before. The incident happened in one of the upper tiers, almost right above him, but he couldn’t see anything and only got the details from others. He thinks it’s serious and adds one new piece of information. He says that a certain trusty has threatened to go to the Warden about it; he told the P. K. to his face that he would, and the P. K. warned the trusty about retaliation if he did. But the man feels so outraged by the brutality he saw that he plans to go through with it anyway.[10]

I know this particular trusty and should be sorry to have him get the ill-will of the P. K., or any of the prison authorities. So I decide to try to take steps to prevent this. Convicts, as I have already hinted, have underground means of communication of which the officials do not always know.

I know this particular reliable person and would feel bad if he got on the bad side of the P. K. or any of the prison authorities. So I decide to take action to prevent that. As I’ve mentioned before, inmates have secret ways of communicating that the officials don’t always recognize.

The truth of this last statement was [Pg 145]demonstrated in an interesting way this morning. Strict orders were given by the Warden when I first came here that there was to be no photographing. We cannot prevent publicity about this affair of mine. But at least we can, and have, cut out the moving pictures; and discouraged other attempts to exploit and emphasize the personal side of it. It is not our fault if many of the newspapers print ridiculous statements which are not founded upon fact.

The truth of this last statement was [Pg 145]demonstrated in an interesting way this morning. The Warden made it very clear when I first arrived that no photographs were allowed. We can't stop the media from covering my situation. But at the very least, we have managed to eliminate the moving pictures and have discouraged other efforts to exploit and highlight the personal aspects of it. It's not our fault if many newspapers publish ridiculous claims that have no basis in fact.

I have, by the way, been seeing a number of newspapers, as the men in the shop are all keenly interested and are anxious to share with me any “Tom Brown dope” that comes their way. Every day half a dozen papers reach me in roundabout ways. I always read them, taking care to lurk behind a post or otherwise screen myself from the eye of the Screw. Captain Kane, like Captain Lamb, evidently feels that it is well to temper discipline with tact and discretion. He is firm in manner, quiet and self-contained, allowing no liberties from anyone, but evidently bent upon doing his duty and at the same time being kindly and fair in his treatment of the men.

I’ve been checking out quite a few newspapers since the guys in the shop are really into it and eager to share any “Tom Brown news” they come across. Every day, I get about six papers through various channels. I always read them, making sure to hide behind a post or otherwise shield myself from the watchful eye of the Screw. Captain Kane, like Captain Lamb, clearly believes in balancing discipline with tact and consideration. He’s firm, calm, and composed, not allowing anyone to overstep their bounds, yet he’s focused on doing his job while being kind and fair to the men.

What I started to say was that the order against photography was obeyed until to-day. There is doubtless a good reason for this morning’s exception—I have to leave that for the Warden to explain; but while Jack and I were[Pg 146] talking, one of the convicts passing behind me said in an undertone, “Look out, Brown! Camera inside.”

What I was about to say is that the ban on photography has been followed up until today. There’s definitely a good reason for this morning's exception—I’ll leave it to the Warden to explain; but while Jack and I were[Pg 146] talking, one of the inmates passing behind me quietly warned, “Watch out, Brown! Camera inside.”

In due course of time, Grant makes his appearance, showing around a visitor who carries a kodak. He makes no attempt to exercise the machine in our neighborhood, and is simply shown through like any other visitor. Not long after he is gone the hour of noon approaches. We form in due order, and, while awaiting the signal to start, for the first time I dare to turn my head sufficiently to get a good look at the dapper young prisoner who leads the right line of our company, the back of whose head and manner of marching had so pleased me. And whom should I discover him to be but my own boss, Harley Stuhlmiller. Here have I been three days marching behind him ten times a day, and seeing him at frequent intervals all day long in the shop; and now for the first time I am able to match his face and the back of his head together. This gives a good idea of the remoteness of man and man in this unnatural place.

In time, Grant shows up, giving a tour to a visitor with a camera. He doesn't try to use the camera in our area and is just shown around like any other guest. Not long after he's gone, noon approaches. We line up in order, and while waiting for the signal to start, I finally dare to turn my head enough to get a good look at the sharp-dressed young prisoner leading our company’s right line, whose back of the head and way of marching I found impressive. And who do I discover him to be but my own boss, Harley Stuhlmiller. I've spent three days marching behind him ten times a day, seeing him frequently in the shop throughout the day; and now, for the first time, I can put his face with the back of his head. This really highlights how disconnected people are in this strange place.

We make our usual march down to the stands, where each man secures his bucket, and then back up the length of the yard.

We make our usual walk down to the stands, where each guy grabs his bucket, and then we head back up the length of the yard.

Sure enough—there he is. The camera fiend is standing with Grant and some others just outside of the main door. Evidently he has not been told that at noon we turn aside to the door leading[Pg 147] into the north wing; it is only at night that we march directly into the main building in order to secure our bread for supper. The men quickly catch the humor of the situation, and there is a deal of quiet enjoyment of the photographer’s disappointment. He hastens down toward us, but only succeeds in snapping our rear ranks as we enter the building. Tom Brown has escaped him.

Sure enough—there he is. The camera enthusiast is standing with Grant and a few others just outside the main door. It’s clear he hasn’t been informed that at noon we head to the door leading[Pg 147] into the north wing; we only go directly into the main building at night to get our bread for supper. The guys quickly catch on to the humor of the situation, and there's a lot of quiet enjoyment of the photographer’s disappointment. He rushes down toward us but only manages to snap a shot of our backs as we enter the building. Tom Brown has eluded him.

It is certainly wonderful how news gets about in this prison. From what the Warden tells me this evening, it could not have been more than half an hour after the man with his kodak entered the front gate before the warning of his camera was received by me, over at the farther end of the yard. The Marconi system hasn’t very much advantage in speed over the wireless telegraphy of the prison.

It’s really impressive how quickly news travels in this prison. According to the Warden this evening, it couldn't have been more than half an hour after the guy with the camera came through the front gate before I got the alert about his camera, all the way on the other side of the yard. The Marconi system doesn’t have much of an edge in speed compared to the prison’s wireless telegraphy.

My first action upon getting back to the cell is to get my own telegraphic system in working order, so as to get word to that trusty who has threatened to go to the Warden about last night’s occurrence. I want him told not to attempt to go over the head of the P. K., but to leave the whole matter to me. I send two messages through the secret channels and then get ready for dinner.

My first move when I get back to my cell is to set up my own communication system so I can relay a message to that reliable person who has threatened to inform the Warden about what happened last night. I want him to know not to bypass the P. K. and to let me handle the situation. I send two messages through the secret channels and then prepare for dinner.

That meal, when we reach the mess-hall, turns out to be corned beef, potatoes, an excellent pickled beet, and the usual bread and coffee. I[Pg 148] eat with more relish than usual, and find the time allotted for the meal altogether too short for a proper enjoyment of it. Or perhaps the word enjoyment is a little too strong—let us say, for a proper disposal of it.

That meal, when we get to the cafeteria, ends up being corned beef, potatoes, a really good pickled beet, and the usual bread and coffee. I[Pg 148]eat with more enthusiasm than usual and feel that the time given for the meal is way too short to fully appreciate it. Or maybe “appreciate” is a bit too strong—let's say, for a proper consumption of it.

Upon returning to my cell I find a piece of paper folded up to its smallest capacity lying on the floor. It is a note from one of my fellow prisoners—a kite, to use the proper term. I have been receiving such documents ever since I came. They reach me in all sorts of ways; all of which ways are of course forbidden. Some of the notes are business-like, some are rambling and incoherent, some are sad, some are humorous, all are characteristic and good tempered. The majority contain requests to see the writers, after I get through my bit. Some go into long accounts of themselves and their experiences. One has written a good-sized pamphlet, telling his life-story in considerable detail. All of them are filled with a pathetic sense of gratitude toward Tom Brown, their new pal. They seem to think that I am making an unheard-of sacrifice for their sakes.

Upon returning to my cell, I find a piece of paper folded to its smallest size lying on the floor. It's a note from one of my fellow prisoners—a kite, as they call it. I've been getting these notes ever since I arrived. They come to me in all sorts of ways, all of which are obviously forbidden. Some of the notes are business-like, some are rambling and confusing, some are sad, some are funny, but all of them are distinctive and cheerful. Most of them include requests to meet with the writers after I'm done with my time. Some write lengthy accounts of themselves and their experiences. One person has written a decent-sized pamphlet, sharing his life story in great detail. Each of these notes is filled with a touching sense of gratitude toward Tom Brown, their new buddy. They seem to believe that I'm making an extraordinary sacrifice for their benefit.

It is curious how far away is the feeling of dread of this place that I used to have; that I must confess to have had even when I decided to come here. Exactly the same, I imagine, as one would feel about entering a den of wild beasts, except that these were capable of being[Pg 149] talked to and reasoned with. I suppose I did have some little, a very little, notion of personal danger, which now seems wholly absurd. I have at present a sense of companionship and sympathy with these men, as warm and strong as I have ever felt anywhere. It is accompanied, of course, by a great feeling of pity for their mistakes, the bitterness of their expiation, and the well-nigh hopeless difficulty under present conditions of regaining their hold upon life.

It’s interesting how far removed I am from the feeling of dread I once had about this place; I have to admit I felt it even when I decided to come here. It’s probably similar to how someone would feel stepping into a den of wild animals, except these creatures could be[Pg 149] talked to and reasoned with. I guess I had a slight, very slight, sense of personal danger that now seems completely ridiculous. Right now, I feel a sense of companionship and sympathy with these men that’s as warm and strong as I’ve ever felt anywhere. Of course, it comes with a deep feeling of pity for their mistakes, the pain of their punishment, and the nearly impossible struggle, given the current conditions, to regain their grip on life.

After the regular period of rest in the cell after dinner, and my usual calls from the trusties, we march back to the shop. The routine is always the same. Again I hear the clicking far away to the left around the corner. Whereupon I rise from my shelf-table, unhook and drop it down, put away my writing materials in the locker, and don my coat and cap. Again the Captain passes by, unlocking the levers as he goes. He quickly finishes the remainder of the cells on this side of the tier, then repasses, pressing down each lever just long enough to allow the grated door to be pushed open by the prisoner waiting inside. Again I shove my door open as quickly as possible and follow immediately after the Captain; for all the men who belong in front of me in the line lock in farther along the gallery. When we reach their cells I drop behind enough to give them their proper places, and thus there[Pg 150] is a minimum of disorder when we have descended the flight of iron stairs to the door and are lining up in double column for our march down the yard.

After the usual downtime in our cell after dinner and the regular calls from the trusties, we head back to the shop. The routine stays the same. Again, I hear the clicking far off to the left around the corner. So, I get up from my shelf-table, unhook it, let it drop down, put away my writing supplies in the locker, and put on my coat and cap. The Captain walks by, unlocking the levers as he moves. He quickly finishes unlocking the cells on this side of the tier, then comes back, pushing down each lever just long enough for the grated door to be opened by the prisoner inside. I shove my door open as fast as I can and follow right behind the Captain; the guys who should be ahead of me in line lock in farther down the gallery. When we reach their cells, I fall behind a bit to give them their proper spots, so there[Pg 150] is minimal chaos when we’ve gone down the iron stairs to the door and are lining up in two columns for our march down the yard.

The marches too are always the same—day after day—with only slight variations; as for instance the one after breakfast when, as it is unnecessary to visit the sewage disposal building, we march directly to the shop. But this afternoon it is the same as all afternoons; short-step at first until all the company have reached the walk; then a rap of the keeper’s stick and full-step down the yard; swing around to the left; through the sewage disposal building for the benefit of the few who bring down their buckets in the afternoon; a momentary pause at the stands and then away to the shop. As we go down the half dozen steps into the building we break ranks and Jack Murphy comes up from his place, somewhere in the rear, with his usual pleasant greeting.

The marches are always the same—day after day—with just a few variations; for example, the one after breakfast when we skip the sewage disposal building and head straight to the shop. But this afternoon is just like every other afternoon; we start with short steps until the entire group reaches the walkway, then a rap of the keeper's stick and full steps down the yard; we swing left; go through the sewage disposal building for the few people who bring their buckets down in the afternoon; a quick pause at the stands and then we head to the shop. As we go down the half dozen steps into the building, we break ranks and Jack Murphy comes up from somewhere in the back, greeting us with his usual friendly hellos.

“Well, Tom, how did you enjoy your dinner?”

“Well, Tom, how did you like your dinner?”

“It was all right, only to-day I didn’t have time enough to eat it.”

“It was fine, but today I didn't have enough time to eat it.”

“No, they cut us pretty short sometimes at dinner.”

“No, they sometimes rush us during dinner.”

No incident of particular interest happens this afternoon. My fingers are getting rather stiff and sore, working with the hard and brittle rattan that they give us. It is discouraging to attempt good work with such material, but we do the[Pg 151] best we can. Stuhlmiller has taken the matter up with John, the citizen instructor, whose last name I have not yet learned, and with Captain Kane. They are thinking about repairing an old vat where the withes can be properly heated and softened by steam. That is all right, but it won’t help my fingers much, as I shall be out of here long before it is done.

No interesting incidents happen this afternoon. My fingers are getting pretty stiff and sore from working with the hard, brittle rattan we’re given. It’s frustrating to try to do good work with such material, but we do the[Pg 151] best we can. Stuhlmiller has talked to John, the citizen instructor, whose last name I still don’t know, and Captain Kane about it. They’re considering fixing up an old vat where the withes can be properly heated and softened by steam. That’s fine, but it won’t do much for my fingers since I’ll be out of here long before it’s finished.

About my going out there is a little joke. Every man wants to know how long I’m going to stay here. I tell them I don’t see how I can remain beyond Sunday, as there is business I have to attend to in New York City next week. Whereupon Jack winks his eye and, speaking to the questioner in a loud whisper, says, “Oh, these new guys are always thinkin’ they ain’t going to stay long. New trial, or pardon or something. He’ll be here for some time yet, so don’t you worry. He’s a little bug about going right out, you know.” A joke which has its non-humorous side; founded, as it undoubtedly is, upon many a grim fact. As the Scotch saying runs, “A true joke is no joke.”

About my going out, there's a little joke. Every guy wants to know how long I’m planning to stay here. I tell them I can’t see how I can stick around past Sunday because I have business to take care of in New York City next week. Then Jack winks and, speaking to the person asking in a loud whisper, says, “Oh, these new guys always think they won't be here long. New trial, or pardon or something. He’ll be around for a while yet, so don’t worry. He’s a bit obsessed with leaving right away, you know.” It’s a joke that has a not-so-funny side; based, as it surely is, on many grim realities. As the Scottish saying goes, “A true joke is no joke.”

In the course of the afternoon, talking again of last night’s occurrences upon which no further light has come, I retail to Jack my visit from Officer X this morning, and that gentleman’s conversation. At the conclusion Jack looks over to me with scorn on his honest face and blurts out,[Pg 152] “Say! I wonder what they take you for anyway!”

In the afternoon, while discussing what happened last night, which still remains unclear, I tell Jack about my visit from Officer X this morning and what we talked about. At the end of my story, Jack looks at me with disdain on his honest face and blurts out,[Pg 152] “Hey! I wonder what they think you are anyway!”

“For a damn fool, evidently; that is, some of them do,” is my answer. “But fortunately, Jack, they can’t be all like that. Probably these officers last night were afraid that I should hear the disturbance that young fellow was making, and felt that they must hustle and get him out of the way on that account. At least that’s how I am inclined to figure it out.”

“For a total idiot, obviously; that is, some of them do,” is my answer. “But luckily, Jack, they can’t all be like that. Probably those officers last night were worried that I would hear the noise that kid was making, and thought they needed to move him out of the way because of it. At least that’s how I see it.”

“Well,” says Jack, “some of them seem awful anxious to know all about you. They come around to my cell every night and ask after my partner’s health, and want me to tell them about everythin’ you say and do. But you can bet I throw ’em off the track. Say,” he continues, “I just wish you could have seen one of the screws last night when he asked me how long you were goin’ to stay here, and I told him that from what I heard you say I judged it wouldn’t be much over two months. Gee! but you should have seen his face! He was just horrified.” And Jack laughs heartily at the recollection.

“Well,” says Jack, “some of them are really eager to know all about you. They come to my cell every night, asking about my partner’s health and wanting me to fill them in on everything you say and do. But you can bet I keep them guessing. You should have seen one of the guards last night when he asked me how long you were going to be here, and I told him that based on what I heard you say, I figured it wouldn’t be much over two months. Wow! You should have seen his face! He was completely shocked.” And Jack laughs heartily at the memory.

“Too bad to give the poor fellow a jolt like that. But after all, Jack, the keepers act a good deal as most any of us would in their places.”

“It's a shame to shock the poor guy like that. But really, Jack, the keepers behave a lot like any of us would if we were in their shoes.”

This kindly view is not perhaps altogether sincere on my part; but I do not wish to use my influence to stir up trouble between the keepers and the prisoners. Without standing up for the keepers[Pg 153] when they are wrong—to do that would be to forfeit the confidence of my companions, I shall do my best to make the men feel that resistance to authority is both foolish and useless. Prisoners cannot expect to have things to their liking; but neither can keepers expect their charges to be blind to hypocrisy, or to acquiesce in brutality.

This friendly view might not be completely honest on my part; however, I don’t want to use my influence to create conflict between the staff and the inmates. While I won’t defend the staff[Pg 153] when they’re in the wrong—doing so would cost me the trust of my peers—I will do my best to help the men see that resisting authority is both pointless and unwise. Inmates can’t expect to get everything they want, but neither can staff expect their charges to ignore hypocrisy or accept cruelty.

In the course of the afternoon I have a long and pleasant talk with Jack Bell. A convenient post is just at my right, behind which Bell stands, screened from the view of the Captain. I can talk low without turning my head, and the officer cannot tell that I am not talking to Murphy. As everything else is going on as usual and the men working near pay no attention, not even looking at us, we are able to enjoy quite a prolonged conversation. Finally, however, the Captain seems to suspect something and steps down from his platform, but Bell glides off quietly and with an admirable innocent air of business. The Captain returns to his seat, apparently satisfied.

In the afternoon, I have a long and nice chat with Jack Bell. There's a handy post right next to me, and Bell stands behind it, out of sight from the Captain. I can speak quietly without turning my head, so the officer can’t tell I’m not talking to Murphy. Everything else is going on as usual, and the men working nearby don’t even pay attention to us, allowing us to have a pretty lengthy conversation. However, eventually the Captain seems to get suspicious and steps down from his platform, but Bell quietly slips away, appearing completely innocent and focused on his work. The Captain goes back to his seat, seemingly satisfied.

After Bell has dropped away, I have a long and interesting discussion with my partner. For some years I have felt that the principles of self-government, as developed at the Junior Republic, might probably be the key to the solution of the prison problem; but as yet I have not been able[Pg 154] to see clearly just how to begin its application. There have seemed to be almost insuperable difficulties. In this connection Jack makes a suggestion which supplies a most important link in the chain.

After Bell has left, I have a long and engaging conversation with my partner. For some years now, I've felt that the principles of self-government, as developed at the Junior Republic, might be crucial to solving the prison problem. However, I still haven't figured out exactly how to start putting this into practice. It has seemed like there were almost unbeatable challenges. In this context, Jack offers a suggestion that provides a very important connection in the chain.

In discussing the various aspects of prison life, the better and the worse, the harder and the less hard, we reach the subject of the long and dreary Sundays. Jack agrees with all those with whom I have talked that the long stretch in the cells, from the conclusion of the chapel service, between ten-thirty and eleven o’clock Sunday morning until seven o’clock Monday morning—over twenty hours, is a fearful strain both physical and mental upon the prisoners.

In talking about different aspects of life in prison, both good and bad, tough and not so tough, we come to the topic of the long and dreary Sundays. Jack agrees with everyone I've spoken to that the long time spent in the cells, from the end of the chapel service, between ten-thirty and eleven o’clock Sunday morning until seven o’clock Monday morning—over twenty hours—is a huge strain both physically and mentally on the prisoners.

“Well, Jack,” I say, “from what I have heard Superintendent Riley say, I feel sure he would like to give the men some sort of exercise or recreation on Sunday afternoons; but how could it be managed? You can’t ask the officers to give up their day off, and you don’t think the men could be trusted by themselves, do you?”

“Well, Jack,” I said, “from what I’ve heard Superintendent Riley mention, I’m pretty sure he wants to provide the men with some kind of exercise or activity on Sunday afternoons; but how could that work? You can't ask the officers to give up their day off, and you don’t really think the men could be trusted to manage on their own, do you?”

“Why not?” says Jack.

“Why not?” says Jack.

I look at him, inquiringly.

I look at him, questioning.

“Why, look here, Tom!” In his eagerness Jack comes around to my side of our working table. “I know this place through and through. I know these men; I’ve studied ’em for years. And I tell you that the big majority of these fellows in here will be square with you if you give ’em a[Pg 155] chance. The trouble is, they don’t treat us on the level. I could tell you all sorts of frame-ups they give us. Now if you trust a man, he’ll try and do what’s right; sure he will. That is, most men will. Of course, there are a few that won’t. There are some dirty curs—degenerates—that will make trouble, but there ain’t so very many of those.

“Hey, check this out, Tom!” Jack eagerly moves to my side of the work table. “I know this place inside and out. I’m familiar with these guys; I’ve been studying them for years. And I swear that most of the people in here will be upfront with you if you give them a[Pg 155] chance. The problem is, they don’t treat us fairly. I could tell you about all the setups they pull on us. If you trust someone, they’ll usually try to do the right thing; that’s a fact. Most people will. Of course, there are a few who won’t. There are some real scoundrels—degenerates—who will cause trouble, but there aren’t that many of them.

“Look at that road work,” he continues. “Haven’t the men done fine? How many prisoners have you had out on the roads? About one hundred and thirty. And you ain’t had a single runaway yet. And if there should be any runaways you can just bet we’d show ’em what we think about it.”[11]

“Check out that road work,” he goes on. “Haven’t the guys done a great job? How many prisoners have you had working on the roads? About one hundred and thirty. And you haven’t had a single escape yet. And if there were any escapes, you can bet we’d show them what we think about it.”[11]

“Do you really think, Jack, that the Superintendent and the Warden could trust you fellows out in the yard on Sunday afternoons in summer?”

“Do you really think, Jack, that the Superintendent and the Warden could trust you guys out in the yard on Sunday afternoons in the summer?”

[Pg 156]“Sure they could,” responds Jack, his face beginning to flush with pleasure at the thought. “And there could be a band concert, and we’d have a fine time. And it would be a good sight better for us than being locked in our cells all day. You’d have fewer fights on Monday, I know that.”

[Pg 156]“Of course they could,” Jack replies, a smile creeping across his face at the idea. “And there could be a band concert, and we’d have a great time. It would definitely be a lot better for us than being stuck in our cells all day. You’d see fewer fights on Monday, I’m sure of it.”

“Yes, it would certainly be an improvement on spending the afternoon in your cells,” I remark. “Then in rainy weather you could march to the chapel and have some sort of lecture or debate; or Mr. Kurtz and I would come down occasionally and give you a violin and piano recital.”

“Yes, it would definitely be better than spending the afternoon in your cells,” I say. “Then on rainy days, you could walk to the chapel and have some sort of lecture or debate; or Mr. Kurtz and I could come down from time to time to give you a violin and piano recital.”

“Sure,” says Jack; adding with a smile, “the boys would like that best of all, you know.” (It takes an Irishman to slide in a delicate compliment in passing.)

“Sure,” says Jack, adding with a smile, “the guys would like that the most, you know.” (It takes an Irishman to slip in a subtle compliment casually.)

“Well, that would all be first rate,” is my interested comment; “but how about the discipline? Would you let everybody out into the yard? What about those bad actors who don’t know how to behave? Won’t they quarrel and fight and try to escape?”

“Well, that sounds great,” I replied with interest; “but what about discipline? Would you really let everyone out in the yard? What about those troublemakers who don’t know how to act? Won’t they argue and fight and try to escape?”

“But don’t you see, Tom, that they couldn’t do that without putting the whole thing on the bum, and depriving the rest of us of our privileges? You needn’t be afraid we couldn’t handle those fellows all right. Or why not let out only those men who have a good conduct bar? That’s[Pg 157] it,” he continues, enthusiastically warming up to his subject, “that’s it, Tom, a Good Conduct League. And give the privilege of Sunday afternoons to the members of the league. I’ll tell you, Tom! you know last year we got up an Anti-swearing League here in this shop, and we had a penalty for every oath or dirty word. The forfeits were paid with matches. You know matches are pretty scarce here, don’t you? Well, we had a grand success with that league. But this Good Conduct League would be a much bigger thing. It would be just great. And go! sure it’ll go.”

“But don’t you see, Tom, that they couldn’t do that without ruining everything and taking away our privileges? You don’t need to worry; we can handle those guys just fine. Or how about just letting out the men who have a good conduct bar? That’s[Pg 157] it,” he continues, getting more excited, “that’s it, Tom, a Good Conduct League. And let's give Sunday afternoons as a privilege to the league members. I’ll tell you, Tom! Remember last year when we started an Anti-swearing League here at this shop? We had a penalty for every curse word or dirty word. The fines were paid with matches. You know matches are pretty rare here, right? Well, we had a huge success with that league. But this Good Conduct League would be even bigger. It would be fantastic. And it will definitely happen!”

“Well, Jack, perhaps you’ve hit the right nail on the head. We’ll think it over, and talk more about it to-morrow.”

“Well, Jack, you might have hit the nail on the head. We’ll think it over and talk more about it tomorrow.”

Thus I close the conversation, wishing time to consider Jack’s suggestion before we continue discussing a subject so big with possibilities. Sunday afternoon may be the key to the whole situation, and Jack may have found the key to the question of Sunday afternoon.

Thus, I wrap up the conversation, wanting time to reflect on Jack’s suggestion before we keep discussing a topic so full of possibilities. Sunday afternoon might be the key to the whole situation, and Jack may have discovered the answer to the question of Sunday afternoon.

Toward the end of the day, when we have finished our work and Jack is sweeping up, I first read all the newspapers which have floated in my direction, and then take a long walk in stretches of ten feet or so. Our talk has given me much to think about. Jack, after finishing his sweeping, also walks, but in a different direction; for[Pg 158] there is a strict rule that no two convicts may walk together. I manage at times to stretch my course a little, on one side or another, and whisper a word or two to some of the other prisoners. My remarks are always greeted with a ready smile and a pleasant gleam of the eye—even in the case of a poor fellow whose face shows that he is lacking in ordinary intelligence.

Toward the end of the day, after we’ve finished our work and Jack is sweeping up, I first read all the newspapers that have come my way, and then I take a long walk, moving about ten feet at a time. Our conversation has given me a lot to think about. After he finishes sweeping, Jack also walks, but in a different direction because there’s a strict rule that no two inmates can walk together. Sometimes, I manage to extend my path a bit, on one side or another, and whisper a word or two to some of the other prisoners. My comments are always met with a quick smile and a friendly sparkle in their eyes—even from a poor guy whose face shows he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Closing time comes. “Good night, Jack!” “Good night, Tom!” (I got ahead of my partner this time.) We form in line; the old men and cripples start off first; the rest of us march up the steps and along the tracks; then after pausing at the bucket stands, swing up the yard to the main building; where I seize my bread, clamber up the iron steps; pass a whispered word or two to some of my special friends as we separate for the night; take my tin cup of fresh water which stands on the shelf; stand for a moment at the cell entrance watching the fellows pass who lock in around the corner; and then pull to my iron grated door, locking myself in for the night. I never perform this last operation and hear the click of the lever which announces that I am fastened securely in my cell, without a feeling of resentment. At least, if a man is to be caged like this, it ought to be done by visible exercise of authority. They shouldn’t expect him to lock his own cage. Speaking as a convict, I call it adding insult to injury.

Closing time arrives. “Good night, Jack!” “Good night, Tom!” (I managed to get ahead of my partner this time.) We line up; the older men and those with disabilities go first; the rest of us walk up the steps and along the tracks; then after stopping at the bucket stands, we head up the yard to the main building; where I grab my bread, climb up the iron steps; exchange a few whispered words with some of my close friends as we part for the night; take my tin cup of fresh water from the shelf; stand for a moment at the cell entrance watching the guys who are locking in around the corner; and then pull closed my iron grating door, locking myself in for the night. I never go through this last step and hear the click of the lever that signifies I’m securely locked in my cell without feeling a sense of anger. If a man has to be imprisoned like this, it should be done with a visible show of authority. They shouldn’t expect him to lock his own cage. Speaking as a convict, I find it adds insult to injury.


[Pg 159]The following is Jack Murphy’s description of the regular routine: “On reaching his gallery each inmate must go direct to his cell, closing his iron door to within an inch of the catch, where the lever falls in place. He must then stand with hands on his iron-grated door until the Captain (who is now on his way, locking up) reaches his cell; then the convict pulls in his door, the lever falls into its catch and the Captain simultaneously inserts his large key into a lock at the side, locking the lever so that it cannot be raised. He then counts his company.

[Pg 159]Here’s how Jack Murphy describes the daily routine: “When each inmate arrives at his gallery, he must go straight to his cell and pull his iron door shut, leaving it just an inch from the catch where the lever locks into place. He has to stand with his hands on the iron-grated door until the Captain (who is making his rounds to lock things up) comes to his cell. Then the inmate pulls the door closed, the lever locks into place, and the Captain simultaneously puts his large key into a lock on the side to secure the lever so it can’t be lifted. After that, he counts his inmates.

“The process of counting is done in this manner: the Captain, in passing each cell, takes hold of the lever while the inmate shakes his door vigorously. In this way the Captain does two mental things at one time, namely: he assures himself that each cell door is securely locked, and that his charge is behind that secured lock. This procedure is continued until the last cell and convict is counted. Then the iron bar which runs the length of the gallery is let down by a lever operated by the Captain at the end of the gallery. This bar runs in front of an iron rod or arm attached outward from the cell door. It is twenty inches long by half an inch square, and is fastened to the left side of the cell door.

“The counting process goes like this: the Captain, while passing each cell, grabs the lever as the inmate shakes their door vigorously. This way, the Captain accomplishes two mental tasks at once: he makes sure that each cell door is securely locked and confirms that the inmate is behind that locked door. This procedure continues until every cell and inmate has been counted. Then, the iron bar that runs the length of the gallery is lowered by a lever operated by the Captain at the end of the gallery. This bar moves in front of an iron rod or arm attached to the outside of the cell door. It is twenty inches long and half an inch square, and it's secured on the left side of the cell door.”

“I forgot to say that, after the lever, which lowers the long iron bar, is pulled down, it is also treated to the lock-up system. A Yale lock is used for this purpose; so you see the poor dumb iron is even a victim to the Prison System.

“I forgot to mention that, after the lever that lowers the long iron bar is pulled down, it's also secured by the lock-up system. A Yale lock is used for this, so you can see that the poor dumb iron is even a victim of the Prison System.”

“In case of illness, after the prison is closed for the night, an officer has to go to the trouble of running up to the front hall for the key of the gallery on which the convict is ill. This would take him 15 minutes to do; and[Pg 160] after he got through unlocking all the locks and pulling the lever the convict might be fit for an undertaker instead of a doctor.

“In case of illness, after the prison is locked up for the night, an officer has to take the effort to run up to the front hall to get the key for the gallery where the inmate is sick. This would take him 15 minutes; and[Pg 160] by the time he finishes unlocking all the locks and pulling the lever, the inmate might be ready for a funeral director instead of a doctor.”

“A convict must not loiter on his gallery. This is considered by some captains a serious offense; and as for talking—good night! This last is as bad as if you were charged with talking out of your cell to your next-door neighbor. A report for such an offense would read something like this: ‘Convict Brown is reported by Captain Jeff [or Mutt] for the following: Loitering on the gallery, talking and causing general disorder.’ Next morning Convict Brown would hit the Booby Hatch for three or four days and a fine of $5.00.”

“A convict can't hang around on the gallery. Some captains see this as a serious offense; and talking? Forget it! That's just as bad as if you were caught talking out of your cell to the person next to you. A report for such an offense would look something like this: ‘Convict Brown is reported by Captain Jeff [or Mutt] for the following: Loitering on the gallery, talking, and causing general disorder.’ The next morning, Convict Brown would end up in the Booby Hatch for three or four days and a $5.00 fine.”

Jack’s statement is, of course, correct. I knew that I was taking a chance in whispering; but I got away with it, all right. So do others, including Jack himself.

Jack's statement is, of course, correct. I knew I was taking a risk by whispering, but I got away with it just fine. So do others, including Jack himself.

To understand fully the Prison System it should be added that this long iron bar, which forms the third lock and about which so much fuss is made, only exists in the basement and second tier in the North Wing, and not at all in the South Wing. There is no discrimination made, by confining the more dangerous men in the extra-locked cells. But, gravely, every night and morning, that silly extra bar is lowered and raised for a small percentage of the prisoners—a ridiculous waste of time and energy.

To fully understand the prison system, it should be noted that this long iron bar, which is the third lock and gets so much attention, only exists in the basement and the second tier of the North Wing, and not at all in the South Wing. There's no discrimination when it comes to keeping more dangerous inmates in the extra-locked cells. However, every night and morning, that unnecessary extra bar is lowered and raised for a small percentage of the prisoners—a ridiculous waste of time and energy.


This evening has been marked by a visit from the Chaplain, who has returned from Syracuse. He tells me that my experiment has aroused great interest among the clergymen assembled at a religious conference he has been attending; that he[Pg 161] has had to answer countless questions. He also tells me that he is returning there again this evening and will telephone to the gentleman who was proposing to employ his assistant, Dickinson, and see if work cannot possibly be found for him. I tell the Chaplain of my letter, and beg him to add assurance of my own belief in the young man’s stability and intention to do right.

This evening has been marked by a visit from the Chaplain, who has returned from Syracuse. He tells me that my experiment has sparked a lot of interest among the clergymen at a religious conference he’s been attending; that he[Pg 161] has had to answer countless questions. He also informs me that he is going back there tonight and will call the gentleman who was considering hiring his assistant, Dickinson, to see if there’s any work available for him. I tell the Chaplain about my letter and ask him to reassure them of my faith in the young man’s reliability and intention to do the right thing.

Later the Warden comes. He brings me, as usual, a copy of the Auburn newspaper, so that I must set this down as the third exception that is made in my case. As a regular newcomer I should not be allowed a newspaper.

Later, the Warden arrives. He brings me, as usual, a copy of the Auburn newspaper, so I have to note this as the third exception made in my case. As a regular newcomer, I shouldn't be allowed a newspaper.

I ask the Warden about last night’s disturbance. He has inquired into it, he says, and found it was only a case of a troublesome fellow, sent up from Sing Sing recently, who was making some little disturbance in the gallery. After they admonished him he wouldn’t stop, so they had to take him down to the jail. When the officer entered his cell, he threw his bucket at the officer and there was a little row. “I’m inclined to think,” adds the Warden, “that he may be a little bit crazy, and I’m going to look into it.”

I asked the Warden about last night’s disturbance. He said he had looked into it and discovered it was just a troublemaker, recently transferred from Sing Sing, who was causing a bit of a ruckus in the gallery. After they warned him, he still wouldn’t stop, so they had to take him down to the jail. When the officer went into his cell, he threw his bucket at the officer, and there was a bit of a scuffle. “I’m starting to think,” the Warden adds, “that he might be a bit off, and I’m going to investigate.”

“I suppose that is the official version,” I remark to the Warden. “Well, I certainly hope you will look further into it; for, speaking frankly, I think they are trying to slip one over on you. If my information is correct, and I believe it is, the case is rather different from what you have told[Pg 162] me; and the treatment given the young fellow was inexcusably brutal.”

“I guess that’s the official version,” I say to the Warden. “Well, I really hope you’ll dig deeper into it; because, to be honest, I think they’re trying to pull a fast one on you. If my info is right, and I believe it is, the situation is pretty different from what you’ve told[Pg 162] me; and the way they treated that young guy was completely unacceptable.”

I put the matter rather mildly to the Warden, for I don’t want him to think that I am losing my balance and taking everything that is said to me by all my fellow-prisoners as gospel truth. To believe everything they say would doubtless be as stupid as to believe nothing.

I approached the Warden pretty gently because I don’t want him to think I'm losing my grip and accepting everything my fellow prisoners say as absolute truth. Believing everything they say would definitely be as foolish as believing nothing at all.

The Warden and I again discuss the desirability of my working in one of the other shops during the remaining time here; but after full consideration we both feel that more is to be gained by staying where I am. There is only a day and a half left.

The Warden and I talk again about whether it would be a good idea for me to work in one of the other shops for the rest of my time here; but after thinking it over, we both agree that I’ll get more out of staying where I am. There's just a day and a half left.

“You still feel, then, as if you wanted to try the jail?” asks the Warden.

“You still feel like you want to try the jail?” asks the Warden.

“Yes, more so than ever,” I answer, “for I must find out why the prisoners all speak of it with such horror. When you showed me the place last June, I thought it a very uncomfortable hole, and it was not pleasant to think about afterward. But there must be some such place to put men who defy all authority; and it didn’t strike me as so very terrible. These fellows all speak of it with bated breath and a queer look in the eyes, as though it held some ghastly recollection. What can it be?”

“Yes, more than ever,” I reply, “because I need to understand why the prisoners talk about it with such fear. When you took me there last June, I thought it was a really uncomfortable place, and it wasn’t nice to think about later. But there has to be a spot for people who defy authority; it didn’t seem that awful to me. These guys all mention it with a whisper and a strange look in their eyes, as if it holds some terrible memory. What could it be?”

“I’m sure I don’t know,” answers the Warden.

“I’m not sure,” answers the Warden.

“Well, neither do I, and I want to find out.[Pg 163] Of course,” I add, “I’m not going to be foolish about the thing. If I find I don’t feel well enough for any reason, when Saturday comes, I shall just cut it out. But if my physical condition continues as good as it is now, I mean to try it.”

“Well, neither do I, and I want to find out.[Pg 163] Of course,” I add, “I’m not going to be reckless about it. If I find that I don’t feel well for any reason when Saturday comes, I’ll just skip it. But if I’m feeling as good as I am now, I plan to go for it.”

“All right,” says the Warden. “I wanted to know, so that I can give orders to have one of those jail suits washed. There is no need of your running any unnecessary risk in the matter, and those dirty old clothes I don’t like.”

“All right,” says the Warden. “I wanted to know so I can give orders to have one of those jail suits washed. There’s no need for you to take any unnecessary risks, and I don’t like those dirty old clothes.”

This is my first knowledge of the custom of giving the prisoners who are sent to the punishment cells clothes especially reserved for the jail; and my thoughts travel at once to the filthy and disreputable garments I had seen on a prisoner the Warden had once interviewed there in my presence.

This is my first awareness of the practice of giving prisoners sent to the punishment cells clothes specifically meant for jail; and my mind immediately goes to the dirty and shabby outfit I had seen on a prisoner the Warden had once interviewed in my presence.

“Well, I shall appreciate it if I can have a clean suit,” I said. “There’s no reason, I suppose, why I should not accept that exception.”

“Well, I’d appreciate it if I could get a clean suit,” I said. “I guess there’s no reason I shouldn’t accept that exception.”

So it is arranged. The Warden’s visit comes to an end, and another day of my voluntary exile from society is closed.

So it’s settled. The Warden’s visit ends, and another day of my voluntary isolation from society wraps up.

Now for another long and restless night.

Now for another long and sleepless night.

I shall not mind so much the periods of wakefulness to-night. Jack Murphy’s Good Conduct League will give me plenty of food for thought. I believe he has struck the path for which I have been groping.

I won't worry too much about being awake tonight. Jack Murphy's Good Conduct League will give me a lot to think about. I think he's found the direction I've been searching for.

 

 


CHAPTER XI

FRIDAY

 

In my cell, Friday evening, October 3.

In my cell, Friday evening, October 3.

This morning breaks gray and cloudy again. I wake early and hear the night officer, some time before six o’clock, come and wake my neighbor in the next cell. He and I tap each other “Good night” regularly now; and this morning I send through the stone wall a greeting for the day. He returns my message; and when the keeper comes again at six o’clock, this time to open his cell, he waits, apparently, until that officer’s back is turned and then, putting his head only just so far past the opening of my cell that his voice can reach me, utters a hoarse and hasty “Good morning” and vanishes. This puts me in thorough good humor, and as I hear the factory bells and whistles greet the new morn I turn over to take just one final nap before beginning my own preparations for the[Pg 165] day’s work, wondering what new turn my adventure will take before night again falls.

This morning is gray and cloudy again. I wake up early and hear the night officer come to wake my neighbor in the next cell, sometime before six o’clock. He and I regularly tap each other to say “Good night” now, and this morning I send a greeting for the day through the stone wall. He replies, and when the keeper arrives again at six o’clock to open his cell, he waits until the officer’s back is turned and then, leaning just far enough past my cell opening for his voice to reach me, hurriedly says “Good morning” in a hoarse whisper before disappearing. This puts me in a great mood, and as I hear the factory bells and whistles welcoming the new day, I roll over for one last nap before starting my own preparations for the[Pg 165] day’s work, wondering what new twist my adventure will take before night falls again.

Is it imagination, or is there more friendliness than usual in the nods and smiles which greet me from the faces upturned in the corridor below, as I traverse the gallery with my heavy bucket? It was extensively questioned among the convicts, in advance of my coming, whether I would do this particular part of the prison duty. As one of them told me, it was thought I would find some way to escape it; and the fact that I did not try to escape it, but assumed it cheerfully and as a matter of course, has much impressed them. As Joe put it to me three days ago, it was proof that I “meant business,” and took the thing seriously, meaning to do exactly what I said—live the actual life of a convict up to the possible limit.

Is it just my imagination, or are the nods and smiles from the faces looking up in the corridor below friendlier than usual as I walk through the gallery with my heavy bucket? The convicts had debated a lot before I arrived about whether I would take on this specific prison duty. One of them mentioned that many thought I would find a way to avoid it; however, the fact that I didn’t try to dodge it but accepted it with a good attitude and as a normal part of my routine really impressed them. As Joe told me three days ago, it showed that I “meant business” and was taking things seriously, intending to live the actual life of a convict to the fullest.

Bucket duty performed and while I wait in my cell for the breakfast hour, Dickinson comes running to my door. The good fellow has heard from the Chaplain that his job is ready for him and he can go out to-morrow. “And I can never be grateful enough to you, sir,” he says with much feeling. “I shall never forget what you and the Chaplain have done for me; and I assure you you will never regret it, for I intend to go straight and show you that I mean every word I say.”

Bucket duty done, and while I wait in my cell for breakfast, Dickinson comes rushing to my door. The good guy has heard from the Chaplain that his job is ready and he can go out tomorrow. “And I can’t thank you enough, sir,” he says with a lot of emotion. “I'll never forget what you and the Chaplain have done for me; and I promise you won’t regret it, because I plan to stay on the right path and prove to you that I mean every word.”

“I’m sure you do; and I’m sure you will go straight,” is my comment. “But how about your[Pg 166] clothes? Have you anything but the prison suit you get on your discharge?”

“I'm sure you do, and I'm sure you'll go straight," I said. "But what about your[Pg 166] clothes? Do you have anything other than the prison outfit you get when you’re released?”

“No, nothing.”

"Nope, nothing."

“Well, but you can’t go to work outside in those. People will spot you as an ex-con at once. Don’t you want me to fix it so that you can get a decent suit?”

“Well, you can't go to work outside in those. People will recognize you as an ex-con right away. Don’t you want me to help you get a decent suit?”

“Oh, if you only would!” is his heartfelt exclamation. “And, say, Mr. Osborne—pardon me—I mean Mr. Brown, if you’ll please consider them not as a gift, if you’ll let me have the money as a loan, I shall be greatly obliged. And I’ll pay it back just as soon as I possibly can.”

“Oh, if you only would!” is his heartfelt exclamation. “And, say, Mr. Osborne—sorry—I mean Mr. Brown, if you could please think of them not as a gift, and if you’ll let me have the money as a loan, I would really appreciate it. I’ll pay it back as soon as I can.”

So we make arrangements by which he can be aided in this way, and I sit down to write a note relative to the matter, but am interrupted by breakfast.

So we set up plans to help him like this, and I sit down to write a note about it, but I'm interrupted by breakfast.

As we march to breakfast I try my hand, or rather my throat, at motionless conversation. Wishing to get word to one of the prisoners to procure a certain definite piece of information about the Wednesday evening incident, I seize upon a favorable moment to communicate with Roger Landry, who is marching ahead of me. In the faintest whisper and without moving my lips, I say: “Cun to ny cell a’ter dreak’ast.” The ghost of a nod shows that he has heard and understood, and so we march in to our morning meal.

As we walk to breakfast, I try to engage in silent communication. Hoping to get a message to one of the prisoners to find out specific details about what happened on Wednesday night, I take advantage of a good moment to reach out to Roger Landry, who is ahead of me. In the softest whisper and without moving my lips, I say, “Come to my cell after breakfast.” A slight nod shows that he heard and understood, and then we head into our morning meal.

[Pg 167]This time it is again hash, with the usual accompaniments—the rather sour bread and nasty coffee. (Whatever else changes, the bootleg remains the same.) The hash is better than that which we had for breakfast on—Wednesday, was it? I place aside only one piece of bone and one of gristle.

[Pg 167]This time it’s hash again, served with the usual sides—the pretty sour bread and terrible coffee. (No matter what else changes, the bootleg stays the same.) The hash is better than what we had for breakfast on—Wednesday, right? I set aside just one piece of bone and one of gristle.

During the meal I look around more closely than I have previously done at the officers within my range of vision. There is one who wears a flannel shirt, and is so unshaven that he looks like a tramp. I’m glad I’m not under that Captain. At first I thought he was some one who had been drafted temporarily for duty, but I find he is one of the regular officers.

During the meal, I take a closer look at the officers I can see. There's one in a flannel shirt, and he's so scruffy that he looks like a bum. I'm relieved I'm not under that Captain. At first, I thought he was just someone who had been temporarily drafted for duty, but I've realized he's actually one of the regular officers.

Here is an interesting psychological fact: that much as a man dislikes being treated as a slave, yet if he is to be so treated he wants his master to be the most efficient and best-looking master of the lot. I find myself comparing our Captain with this untidy-looking person in the flannel shirt, and having a distinct feeling of pride in the good looks and clean-cut appearance of our master. I know that if I were serving under that flannel-shirted and collarless officer I should have very little respect for myself and none for him. I don’t know who he is, and he may be one of the kindest and best tempered of men; but I would be willing to wager that the prisoners under his charge are difficult to handle. It[Pg 168] does not speak well for the general discipline of the prison that such a breach of official decorum should be permitted. The officer’s cap on top of the unshaven face and the flannel shirt looks ridiculously out of place.

Here’s an interesting psychological fact: as much as a person hates being treated like a slave, if they are going to be treated that way, they want their master to be the most efficient and best-looking one around. I find myself comparing our Captain to this messy-looking guy in the flannel shirt, and I feel a strong sense of pride in our master’s good looks and sharp appearance. I know that if I were serving under that flannel-shirted, collarless officer, I would have very little respect for myself and none for him. I don’t know who he is, and he might be one of the kindest and most easygoing people out there; but I’d bet that the prisoners under his watch are pretty hard to manage. It[Pg 168] doesn’t reflect well on the overall discipline of the prison that such a lapse in official decorum is allowed. The officer’s cap on top of the unshaven face and the flannel shirt looks utterly ridiculous.

Soon after our return to the cells comes Landry, having understood perfectly my first attempt at convict conversation. I give him my message and he engages to see that it is delivered. As we are talking, another of the trusties passes by; and, before I can see who it is, a large sheet of paper is thrust under the door and the man is gone. I turn the paper over and on the other side is a most elaborate pencil sketch of myself, copied with extraordinary pains, apparently from some newspaper cut, and with it a slip of paper with this inscription: “Auburn Prison, September 30, 1913. To Hon. Thomas M. Osborne, Auburn, N. Y. As a memento of the days spent in our midst and sacrificed in our behalf. Auburn No. 31——.”

Soon after we get back to our cells, Landry shows up, completely getting my first attempt at chatting with a fellow inmate. I give him my message, and he promises to make sure it gets delivered. While we're talking, another trusty walks by, and before I can see who it is, a large piece of paper is slid under the door, and the guy is gone. I flip the paper over, and on the other side is an incredibly detailed pencil drawing of me, clearly copied with great care from some newspaper clipping. Along with it is a slip of paper that says: “Auburn Prison, September 30, 1913. To Hon. Thomas M. Osborne, Auburn, N. Y. As a memento of the days spent in our midst and sacrificed in our behalf. Auburn No. 31——.”

Arrived at the basket-shop and soon after Jack and I have started working, I have a bad attack of nausea. I was very thirsty at breakfast time and inadvertently drank some bootleg. That must be the reason. No human stomach, without practice, can stand that stuff. I keep on working, hoping the feeling will wear off, but it does not. Then I walk up and down energetically[Pg 169] while we are waiting for a new stock of rattan, but that has no better effect. Jack is much concerned and insists upon appealing to the Captain, who promptly sends to the hospital for medicine. In the meantime I go to the large door in the rear of the shop with a hope of relief from the cause of disturbance, but am only partially successful. A young prisoner who is washing windows asks me if I would not like some hot water. Indeed I would, it is the very thing I want. So he goes and gets it. He is a good-looking lad, a Greek, with the appealing eyes I have noticed in some of the Italian prisoners. I drink large quantities of hot water and rest awhile before continuing my work. Jack and all the other men about me are most kind and solicitous for my comfort, and I have never seen a more ready and friendly expression of sympathy. It is worth being ill to experience it.

I arrived at the basket shop, and shortly after Jack and I started working, I got hit with a bad wave of nausea. I was really thirsty at breakfast and accidentally drank some bootleg liquor. That's probably the issue. No one’s stomach can handle that stuff without getting used to it. I keep working, hoping the feeling will go away, but it doesn’t. Then I start pacing back and forth energetically[Pg 169] while we wait for a new shipment of rattan, but that doesn’t help either. Jack is really worried and insists on asking the Captain, who quickly sends for medicine from the hospital. In the meantime, I head to the big door at the back of the shop hoping for some relief, but I only get a little. A young prisoner who’s washing windows asks if I’d like some hot water. Absolutely, that’s exactly what I need. So he goes to get it. He’s a good-looking guy, a Greek, with those soulful eyes I’ve noticed in some of the Italian prisoners. I drink a lot of hot water and rest for a bit before getting back to work. Jack and all the other guys around me are super kind and concerned about my comfort, and I’ve never seen such an outpouring of sympathy. It almost makes being sick worth it.

The young Greek keeps my jar of hot water filled as fast as I empty it, and even before the medicine arrives from the hospital I already feel better. I take a dose, however, and go to work again. By the time the morning work hours are over I am in shape to march back to the north wing, although for a moment at the bucket stands I feel as if I were about to keel over.

The young Greek keeps my jar of hot water filled as quickly as I empty it, and even before the medicine gets here from the hospital, I already feel better. I take a dose, though, and get back to work. By the time the morning work hours are done, I’m ready to head back to the north wing, although for a moment at the bucket stands, I feel like I’m about to pass out.

In my cell I slump into the chair. (I don’t think I have mentioned that the large chair which gave so much trouble on Tuesday night was [Pg 170]replaced the next day by one of more manageable proportions.) I rest my head against the mattress, as it hangs over the bed, and feel ill for a few moments. But I take another dose of the Doctor’s medicine and by the time the march to dinner comes I feel better; so much better that, carefully avoiding the bootleg, I manage to make a fairly good meal.

In my cell, I sink into the chair. (I don’t think I’ve mentioned that the large chair that caused so much trouble on Tuesday night was [Pg 170]replaced the next day with a more manageable one.) I rest my head against the mattress that hangs over the bed and feel sick for a few moments. But I take another dose of the Doctor’s medicine, and by the time it’s time to march to dinner, I feel better; so much better that, carefully avoiding the bootleg, I manage to have a pretty decent meal.

The menu to-day consists of very excellent hot soup, cold salmon, and pickles. I avoid the salmon and pickles, passing them along to another man, and contenting myself with the soup and sour bread. This passing to others of what one does not want seems to be very general. As it has to be done without visible conversation it is a little difficult for the newcomer always to know what is expected of him, and I’m afraid I have not always disposed of my meal to the best advantage. I notice that Landry eats sparingly. As he has what might be called a semi-official position, I suspect that he reserves some of his gastronomic energies for the back pantry.

The menu today includes really great hot soup, cold salmon, and pickles. I skip the salmon and pickles, passing them to another guy, and stick to the soup and sour bread. This idea of giving away what you don’t want seems pretty common. Since it has to be done without obvious conversation, it’s a bit tricky for newcomers to know what's expected of them, and I’m afraid I haven’t always handled my meal the best way. I notice that Landry eats lightly. Since he has what could be called a semi-official role, I suspect he saves some of his food energy for the back pantry.

Again in my cell I address myself to sleep; and succeed in getting a brief nap, which is broken by my good friend Joe, who comes to make anxious inquiries after my health. He has heard that I am sick and is much concerned. I suppose he has learned it in the mysterious way so much news travels—by prison wireless.

Again in my cell, I try to sleep and manage to get a short nap, which is interrupted by my good friend Joe, who comes to check on my health. He’s heard that I’m unwell and is very worried. I guess he found out through that mysterious way news spreads—by prison wireless.

[Pg 171]I relieve Joe’s anxiety; and then comes Landry with whom I have a pleasant talk on things in general, ending with religion. We are interrupted by the arrival of Captain Martin; and I am considerably amused at the deft way in which Landry has effaced himself and vanished before the officer regains his breath after climbing the stairs. Captain Martin comes from the Doctor to know whether I should like some milk.

[Pg 171]I ease Joe’s worries; then Landry shows up, and we have a nice chat about various topics, wrapping up with religion. Our conversation is cut short when Captain Martin arrives, and I find it quite entertaining how quickly Landry has slipped away before the officer has even caught his breath after climbing the stairs. Captain Martin comes from the Doctor to ask if I’d like some milk.

“Thank you, sir, I think not now.” I am on the point of adding that it would be extremely welcome this evening—well or ill; but the Captain does not offer it, and I do not quite like to ask for it. So I vouchsafe the information that I’m feeling better now and think I shall be all right in a very short while.

“Thank you, sir, but I think not right now.” I’m about to say that it would be really welcome this evening—whether I’m feeling good or bad; but the Captain doesn’t offer it, and I don’t quite feel comfortable asking for it. So I share the information that I’m feeling better now and believe I’ll be fine in a short while.

The Captain takes his departure; and my next caller is Dickinson, who is still radiant over the idea of leaving to-morrow. I give him the note I have written, which will enable him to get his clothes; and, when he tells me that owing to the late fine weather the authorities have refused to give him an overcoat, I add that item to his list.

The Captain leaves, and my next visitor is Dickinson, who is still excited about the idea of leaving tomorrow. I hand him the note I wrote, which will allow him to get his clothes, and when he mentions that because of the recent nice weather the authorities won't give him an overcoat, I add that to his list.

When the time comes to go back to work I am feeling refreshed by my brief nap and the hour’s rest after dinner. So I fall into line as usual with the company—I wonder what would happen if I stayed behind in my cell—and we[Pg 172] march down the yard as usual. When I arrive at the shop, Jack is at my side in an instant.

When it’s time to go back to work, I feel refreshed from my quick nap and the hour of rest after dinner. So, I line up with everyone else as usual—I wonder what would happen if I just stayed in my cell—and we[Pg 172] walk down the yard like always. When I get to the shop, Jack is right beside me in an instant.

“How are you feeling, Tom?” he inquires, anxiously.

“How are you feeling, Tom?” he asks, worriedly.

I tell him that I am doing fairly well, and we set to work. In a very short time, however, the feeling of nausea returns; and Jack then gives me a remedy of his own which he says is often taken in the prison, where indigestion is only too common. It consists of bicarbonate of soda in vinegar and water. To show me that it is quite safe Jack takes a dose himself, I follow suit, and the result is satisfactory in both cases. I am also provided with plenty of hot water by my young Greek friend, who is apparently ready to take any amount of trouble for me.

I tell him that I'm doing pretty well, and we get to work. However, before long, the feeling of nausea comes back; Jack then gives me a remedy of his own that he says is often used in prison, where indigestion is really common. It’s made of bicarbonate of soda in vinegar and water. To prove it’s safe, Jack takes a dose himself, and I do the same, and it works well for both of us. I'm also given plenty of hot water by my young Greek friend, who seems willing to go out of his way to help me.

While I am trying to do my fair share of the basket-making this afternoon one of my shopmates passes behind me and then pauses in the shadow of the post. “Say, Brown,” he says, “you don’t seem to realize that you are violating one of the fundamental laws of this institution, you’re working too hard,” and he goes off chuckling. I don’t know that I am working too hard, but I do know that there seems to be about as little incentive to do a good, honest day’s work as could well be devised. At a cent and a half a day the financial result is farcical, and my surprise is great that the state gets as good work as it[Pg 173] does. Certainly it is far better than the state deserves. Looking about the shop I see a great many men who are doing their allotted tasks faithfully and well. Yet they have absolutely nothing to gain by it except the satisfaction of work well done.

While I'm trying to do my fair share of basket-making this afternoon, one of my coworkers walks behind me and then stops in the shadow of the post. “Hey, Brown,” he says, “you don’t seem to realize that you’re breaking one of the basic rules of this place—you’re working too hard,” and he walks away chuckling. I’m not sure if I’m working too hard, but I do know that there seems to be barely any motivation to put in a good, honest day’s work. At a dollar fifty a day, the financial outcome is ridiculous, and I’m really surprised that the state gets as good work as it [Pg 173] does. It’s definitely better than the state deserves. Looking around the shop, I see a lot of guys who are doing their assigned tasks reliably and well. Yet, they have absolutely nothing to gain from it except the satisfaction of a job well done.

In the course of the afternoon Jack and I resume our discussion about Sunday afternoons and the Good Conduct League. Further consideration has rendered both of us enthusiastic over the plan.

In the afternoon, Jack and I pick up our conversation about Sunday afternoons and the Good Conduct League. After thinking it over, we're both excited about the idea.

“Why, I know it would work, Tom,” is Jack’s decided statement. “The big majority of fellows in this prison the Warden don’t have any trouble with. Well, just keep the rest of ’em out of the League. There’s no reason why the men who are tryin’ to make good should suffer because those miserable degenerates won’t stand for what’s right.”

“Look, Tom, I’m sure this would work,” Jack declares confidently. “Most of the guys in this prison don’t give the Warden any trouble. So, we just need to keep the rest of them out of the League. There’s no reason the men who are trying to turn their lives around should suffer because those pathetic losers won’t do what’s right.”

“Then you think that if the right men were trusted they could take care of the bad ones?” I ask.

“Then you think that if we trusted the right people, they could handle the bad ones?” I ask.

“Sure!” replies my enthusiastic partner.

“Of course!” replies my excited partner.

“Well, now let’s see about this thing,” I say, becoming more and more interested as the great possibilities of the plan present themselves to my mind. “Suppose it is Sunday afternoon and Superintendent Riley has given permission to use the yard. You can’t have the officers coming[Pg 174] back and spoiling their day off. How would you manage?”

“Well, let’s look into this,” I say, growing increasingly interested as the exciting possibilities of the plan come to mind. “Imagine it’s Sunday afternoon and Superintendent Riley has allowed us to use the yard. We can’t have the officers coming back and ruining their day off. How would you handle that?”

“Why, just let the League fellows manage themselves,” is Jack’s answer.

“Why, just let the League guys handle things on their own,” is Jack’s response.

“Yes, but how?” I persist. “You’d probably have an occasional fight of some sort, and you’d have to have some means of enforcing discipline. Could each company have a convict officer, a lieutenant to assist the regular captain?”

“Yes, but how?” I press on. “You’d probably have the occasional argument or disagreement, and you’d need a way to keep things in order. Could each company have a convict officer, a lieutenant to help the regular captain?”

Jack looks grave. “That would be too much like Elmira,” he says. “I’m afraid the fellows wouldn’t fall for it. You know they just hate those Elmira officers; they’re nothing but stool-pigeons.”

Jack looks serious. “That would be way too similar to Elmira,” he says. “I’m worried the guys wouldn’t buy it. You know they can't stand those Elmira officers; they’re nothing but snitches.”

Right here is where my Junior Republic experience comes to our aid.

Right here is where my Junior Republic experience helps us out.

“Yes,” I say, “but we wouldn’t have any Elmira stool-pigeons. Down there the inmate officers are appointed by the prison authorities, aren’t they? Well, here we’d have the members of the League elect their own officers.”

“Yes,” I say, “but we wouldn’t have any Elmira informants. Down there, the guards are appointed by the prison authorities, right? Well, here we’d have the League members elect their own officers.”

Jack stares at me a moment, and then his quick mind grasps the point. “That’s it, that’s it,” he assents, eagerly, “we’ve got it now. Of course if the men elect their own officers they won’t be stool-pigeons.”

Jack stares at me for a moment, and then his sharp mind gets the point. “That’s it, that’s it,” he agrees, excitedly, “we’ve got it now. Of course, if the guys choose their own leaders, they won’t be snitches.”

“Certainly not, they can’t be,” I rejoin, feeling now on familiar and secure ground, “for if the men elect them, they will be representatives of the men and bound to feel themselves responsible[Pg 175] to the men. They may turn out to be poor officers—dictatorial, or weak, or incompetent—but they will not be stool-pigeons. Then you can guard against it still further by providing that whenever the men of a company lose faith in their officer he can be recalled and a new one elected.”

“Of course not, they can’t be,” I respond, feeling confident and secure now. “If the men choose them, they’ll be representatives of the men and will feel responsible[Pg 175] to them. They might end up being bad leaders—overbearing, ineffective, or incompetent—but they won’t be pawns. You can also protect against this by allowing the men of a company to remove their officer and elect a new one whenever they lose faith in him.”

As we discuss the matter new possibilities open up. Some sort of governing body of the League which shall plan ahead for its work, so that every Sunday something interesting may be presented. Perhaps the men might get up an entertainment themselves; or, as I suggest, possibly athletic sports on a holiday in the yard. This last makes Jack fairly gasp.

As we talk about this, new possibilities emerge. We might set up a governing body for the League that can plan ahead for its activities, ensuring something interesting is offered every Sunday. Maybe the guys could organize their own entertainment; or, as I suggest, maybe we could have some athletic events in the yard on a holiday. This idea really surprises Jack.

“Gee! I guess that we’d have everybody wantin’ to join the League, all right,” is his comment.

“Wow! I guess that we’d have everyone wanting to join the League, for sure,” is his comment.

“And you really think the men would take an interest, and make such a thing go?” is my final question.

“And you really think the guys would care and make something like that happen?” is my final question.

“Go!” says Jack. “The only trouble will be if we ever had a fight in the yard everybody’d want to stop it to show that they didn’t stand for it. And I’m afraid that fourteen hundred men would come pretty near to putting the two fighters out of business.”

“Go!” says Jack. “The only issue would be if we ever had a fight in the yard, everyone would want to intervene to prove they didn’t tolerate it. And I’m worried that fourteen hundred men would almost definitely put the two fighters out of action.”

“Well, then, let us think over this matter fully and carefully, Jack, and later on I’ll take it up with you and see what we can work out of it. I[Pg 176] think you’ve got hold of the right end and struck a big thing.”

“Well, let's think this through carefully, Jack, and later on I’ll discuss it with you to see what we can come up with. I[Pg 176] think you’re on the right track and have discovered something significant.”

The next time Stuhlmiller comes to our table I say, “Harley, listen to this,” and give him a rough outline of what Jack and I have been discussing. Stuhlmiller listens with smiling attention and gives the plan warm approval. This is encouraging.

The next time Stuhlmiller comes to our table I say, “Harley, check this out,” and give him a rough outline of what Jack and I have been discussing. Stuhlmiller listens with a smile and gives the plan a thumbs up. This is encouraging.

On the other hand, when we open up the subject to Blackie Laflam, he takes a different view. He is quite ready to accept the blessings of Sunday afternoons in the yard or chapel; but he balks at the idea of inmate lieutenants.

On the other hand, when we bring up the topic with Blackie Laflam, he sees it differently. He’s totally on board with enjoying the perks of Sunday afternoons in the yard or chapel; however, he hesitates at the notion of inmate lieutenants.

“Cut it out,” is his comment. “I wouldn’t be bossed by no convict. Ain’t the keeper enough? What’s he paid for? No Elmira stool-pigeons for mine!”

“Cut it out,” he says. “I’m not going to be bossed around by any convict. Isn’t the warden enough? What’s he getting paid for? No way I’m dealing with any Elmira snitches!”

So there we have the two views very well outlined, and the two currents of public opinion fairly contrasted. Harley sees the point at once, is ready to join in and accept the responsibilities which must go along with the privileges; Blackie has to overcome his prejudices and be convinced of the benefit which may accrue to him personally. We shall have to take into account both groups of which these two men are types.[12]

So there we have the two perspectives clearly defined, and the two sides of public opinion clearly contrasted. Harley gets it right away; he’s willing to step in and accept the responsibilities that come with the privileges. Blackie, on the other hand, needs to work through his biases and see the personal benefits he might gain. We’ll need to consider both groups represented by these two men.[12]

[Pg 177]Except for these discussions this last afternoon passes without any new excitement. I find myself frequently wondering about to-morrow. In my present condition it would be very foolish to attempt the jail. Fortunately I am feeling better every moment, even if I am “working too hard”; perhaps because of doing so. By the time the order comes to fall in at the end of the afternoon I am quite myself again—thanks to Jack’s remedy, the Doctor’s medicine, and the Greek boy’s hot water, to say nothing of the League discussion.

[Pg 177]Aside from these conversations, this last afternoon goes by without any new excitement. I often find myself thinking about tomorrow. Given how I’m feeling right now, it would be really foolish to try to visit the jail. Fortunately, I’m feeling better with each passing moment, even if I am “working too hard”; maybe it’s because of that. By the time we get the order to line up at the end of the afternoon, I’m feeling like myself again—thanks to Jack’s remedy, the doctor’s medicine, and the Greek boy’s hot water, not to mention the League discussion.

One incident of the afternoon touches me extremely. Working not far from us is a young lad from Brooklyn. He can’t be more than eighteen or nineteen years of age—a good-looking youth, having no special friends apparently and speaking but little to any one. Every moment when he is not working he is either vigorously walking, or poring over some book, a lurid dime novel I should judge from its appearance. I have tried to make friends with him, but without much success. My advances are received pleasantly enough, but awaken apparently very little response. To be sure we do not have a chance to enjoy much real conversation, but his face does not light up as do those of most of the prisoners with whom I get the chance to exchange even a word or two.

One moment from the afternoon really stands out to me. There's a young guy from Brooklyn working nearby. He can't be more than eighteen or nineteen—good-looking, but he doesn't seem to have any close friends and hardly talks to anyone. Whenever he's not working, he's either walking around energetically or absorbed in a book, which looks like a cheap, exciting novel. I've tried to befriend him, but it hasn't really worked. He's polite, but he doesn’t seem very engaged. We don’t get to have much real conversation, and his expression doesn’t brighten up like most of the other prisoners I get to chat with, even just for a moment.

This afternoon, while I am working away at[Pg 178] the bench, I suddenly see a hand outstretched in front of me, and in its palm a small bunch of about two dozen green, dyspeptic-looking grapes. A more forlorn attempt at fruit I have never seen.

This afternoon, while I'm busy at[Pg 178] the bench, I suddenly see a hand reaching out in front of me, and in its palm is a small bunch of about two dozen green, sickly-looking grapes. I've never seen a more pitiful attempt at fruit.

I turn, and it is my young friend of the dime novel. The lad has somehow or other come into possession of these sickly grapes, and is making to me the best offering he can. I dare say it sounds like a very commonplace occurrence, but in reality there is something infinitely pathetic in this poor imprisoned boy’s attempt to express friendliness. I wish I could give him in return some of the real fruit that is at this moment wasting on the vines at home. As it is, I can only tell him that I do not dare eat fruit while my stomach is out of order, but that I appreciate his kindness none the less. So he goes back to his exercise; and I am left wondering how in the world—or rather, how away from the world—did the boy come by those grapes.[13]

I turn, and there’s my young friend from the dime novel. The kid somehow managed to get his hands on these sad-looking grapes and is offering them to me as best as he can. It might seem like a pretty ordinary thing, but honestly, there’s something really heartbreaking about this poor trapped boy trying to be friendly. I wish I could give him some of the fresh fruit that’s just sitting on the vines back home. But all I can do is tell him that I can't eat fruit right now because my stomach is acting up, but I really do appreciate his kindness. So he goes back to his workout; and I’m left wondering how in the world—or rather, away from the world—he ended up with those grapes.[13]

Thus I close my last full day’s work in the shop. Where shall I be at this time to-morrow, I wonder? It occurs to me that this was the[Pg 179] same question I was asking myself only five nights ago, before I came to prison.

Thus I end my last full day’s work in the shop. I wonder where I’ll be at this time tomorrow? It strikes me that this was the[Pg 179] same question I was asking myself just five nights ago, before I ended up in prison.

We march back up the yard without incident; and in due time I regain my cell, after getting my bread for supper.

We walk back up the yard without any issues, and eventually, I get back to my cell after grabbing my bread for dinner.

Here Dickinson comes again, to express his gratitude and have me share in his joy at deliverance. I say, “And now I suppose it’s good-bye.”

Here Dickinson comes again, to show his gratitude and have me join in his joy at being free. I say, “And now I guess it’s time to say good-bye.”

“Oh, no,” he replies; “I shall come and see you again to-morrow morning before I go.” Then he tells me all his plans, and how he expects to rejoin his wife and children. His joy is pathetic when one reflects upon the individual sorrows and disappointments that must await him, with always in the background the horrible dread of having his past discovered. Even his children do not know the truth; they think their father has only been away on a long journey. I give him my very best wishes and plenty of good advice, and again he assures me of his undying gratitude. It seems to be very easy to make these poor fellows grateful. Just a little human feeling, that is all that is necessary.

“Oh, no,” he replies; “I’ll come and see you again tomorrow morning before I leave.” Then he shares all his plans and how he hopes to reunite with his wife and kids. His joy is touching when you consider the personal sorrows and disappointments that must be waiting for him, with the constant fear of his past being uncovered lurking in the background. Even his kids don’t know the truth; they believe their dad has just been away on a long trip. I give him my best wishes and a lot of good advice, and he again assures me of his everlasting gratitude. It seems really easy to make these poor guys grateful. Just a little kindness, that’s all it takes.

This evening, having little appetite and bread and water not seeming quite adequate to tempt what little there is, I turn to Landry’s apples which have been awaiting just such an occasion. I eat one; and it goes to just the right spot. I[Pg 180] have seldom tasted anything more delicious. On the whole, it appears well to be on good terms with a gallery man; and I can see that it would be especially so if he is the captain’s trusty. I can imagine that then he might be of great service; or might, on the other hand, work one a deal of mischief if he wanted to. The trusty must have it in his power very often to prejudice the captain for or against certain prisoners by what he tells; and the captain would have no practicable means of verifying the trusty’s statements. A system of petty and very exasperating tyranny would thus grow up. It is bad enough to be tyrannized over by an officer, but to be tyrannized over by an officer’s stool-pigeon must be almost unendurable. While I have seen no examples myself, I imagine from what I have heard that this state of things is not unknown, as of course it is inevitable. One has only to recall one’s own school days to know that.

This evening, not feeling very hungry and with just bread and water not quite appealing enough to satisfy what little appetite I have, I turn to Landry’s apples that have been waiting for just this moment. I eat one, and it hits the spot perfectly. I[Pg 180] have rarely tasted anything more delicious. Overall, it seems beneficial to be on good terms with someone who sells art; and I can tell it would be especially advantageous if he is the captain’s trusted aide. I can imagine he could be very helpful; or, on the flip side, he could cause a lot of trouble if he wanted to. The trusted aide often has the power to sway the captain's opinion about certain prisoners based on what he shares, and the captain wouldn’t have any reliable way to check the aide’s claims. This could lead to a system of petty and very frustrating tyranny. It’s already bad enough to be oppressed by an officer, but being controlled by an officer’s informant must be nearly unbearable. While I haven’t seen any examples myself, I gather from what I’ve heard that this kind of situation is not uncommon, as it is obviously bound to happen. One only has to think back to their own school days to understand that.

After I have finished my supper of apples, bread and water, one of the trusties comes to the front of the cell, and I have a long talk with him. He grows confidential, and tells me his story. It is a mournful but perfectly natural one. An active boy, inclined to wildness; bad companions; a father whose business called him from home; a mother unable to cope with her wilful son; a life of dissipation; a picnic and drinking; a row with[Pg 181] some other toughs; a handy pistol and an unpremeditated murder. Then comes the punishment which falls upon him, although others are equally to blame.

After I finish my dinner of apples, bread, and water, one of the guards comes to the front of the cell, and I have a long conversation with him. He starts to open up and shares his story. It’s a sad but totally understandable one. An energetic boy, prone to mischief; bad friends; a dad whose job kept him away from home; a mom who couldn't handle her headstrong son; a life of partying; a picnic and drinking; a fight with[Pg 181] some other tough guys; a handy gun and a spur-of-the-moment murder. Then comes the punishment he faces, even though others are just as guilty.

What surprises me about this, like other tales that have reached me, is the frank acknowledgment of the sin. There is usually an admission that punishment was deserved, occasionally an admission that on the whole prison has been useful—“I’ve learned my lesson”; but along with any such acknowledgment, an expression of intense resentment at unintelligent treatment and unnecessary brutality.

What surprises me about this, like other stories I've heard, is the honest recognition of the wrongdoing. There's usually an acceptance that the punishment was justified, sometimes even a recognition that, overall, prison has had its benefits—"I've learned my lesson"; but right alongside that acknowledgment is a deep resentment towards ignorant treatment and unnecessary cruelty.

The tales of this brutality are almost beyond belief. They do not come out directly, put forward to arouse sympathy; very far from that. They crop out incidentally in the course of conversation and are only related when I ply the prisoner with questions. One man tells of being sent to a dark cell because he would not reveal to the warden something he did not know, and therefore could not reveal, about one of his fellow prisoners.

The stories of this brutality are nearly unbelievable. They don’t come out directly to evoke sympathy; quite the opposite. They surface randomly during conversations and are only shared when I press the prisoner with questions. One man describes being sent to a dark cell because he refused to tell the warden something he didn’t know, and therefore couldn’t reveal, about one of his fellow prisoners.

“Didn’t you really know, or wouldn’t you be a stool-pigeon?” is my natural question.

“Didn’t you actually know, or wouldn’t you be a snitch?” is my natural question.

“I really didn’t know,” replies the trusty.

“I honestly had no idea,” replies the reliable one.

But the warden chose to think that the poor fellow did know, and sent him to the dark cell on bread and water for eight days. Then he was brought up, more dead than alive, given a[Pg 182] single meal, and sent back to the dark cell for twelve days more.

But the warden decided to believe that the poor guy did know, and sent him to the dark cell on just bread and water for eight days. Then he was brought up, looking more dead than alive, given a[Pg 182] single meal, and sent back to the dark cell for another twelve days.

Twenty days in darkness—on bread and water—for withholding information which he did not possess.

Twenty days in the dark—on bread and water—for not sharing information he didn't have.

(It should be added that this did not happen under any warden now holding office.)

(It should be added that this did not happen under any warden currently in office.)

What are men made of who can treat human beings like that? I supposed that the Middle Ages were safely passed; but here is the medieval idea of the torture chamber to extract information right over again.

What kind of men can treat other human beings like that? I thought the Middle Ages were long gone; yet here is the medieval concept of the torture chamber to extract information once again.

Then there is that other story of the man who committed suicide in the jail. This is what is told to me:

Then there's that other story about the man who took his own life in jail. This is what I've been told:

A number of years ago a poor fellow was sent here. His first night in prison was so terrible a nervous strain upon him, as it apparently is to all prisoners, that he could not keep from hysterical crying. The officer on guard ordered him to stop, but he could not control himself. So the officer chalked him in.

A few years ago, a struggling man was brought here. His first night in prison was such a huge emotional strain on him, as it seems to be for all inmates, that he couldn’t help but cry hysterically. The officer on duty told him to stop, but he couldn't calm down. So the officer marked him down.

The next day he was reported for punishment and sent down to the jail, although he protested that it would kill him. That night he strangled himself with his handkerchief.

The next day he was reported for punishment and sent to jail, even though he insisted that it would be the end of him. That night he killed himself with his handkerchief.

It is the jail which, apparently, either sends a man bughouse, or which lays such a foundation that he becomes so later on. But even when the time spent in the dark cell is short, as in Jack[Pg 183] Murphy’s case, who spent only eight hours there, there seems to be left an impression of horror—for which I find it difficult to account. I certainly cannot make a full test of prison life without having a jail experience. For me surely it can hold no such horror as for these poor fellows who are kept so many days on starvation diet. Yes, if I do not feel physically unfit to-morrow I must undertake the experience.

It’s the jail that either drives a person crazy or sets them up to go crazy later on. But even when the time spent in the dark cell is short, like in Jack[Pg 183] Murphy’s case, who was only there for eight hours, it seems to leave an impression of horror that’s hard to explain. I definitely can’t fully understand prison life without actually experiencing it. For me, it probably holds no such terror as it does for those poor guys who are stuck on a starvation diet for so many days. Yes, if I don’t feel too physically unfit tomorrow, I have to go through with the experience.

Soon after eight o’clock the Warden and Grant appear at my cell door. My ears are becoming sharper, I think. I can tell now the moment the door opens into the corridor below whether or not it is the Warden that is coming. Of course he arrives about the same time every evening, but also about this time the door is opening and closing a number of times. I recognize also the Warden’s footfalls on the stone pavement below. It would not be very long, I imagine, before I should have a hearing as acute as my fellow prisoners seem to have.

Soon after eight o’clock, the Warden and Grant show up at my cell door. I think my hearing is getting sharper. I can now tell the moment the door opens into the corridor below whether it’s the Warden coming. He usually gets here around the same time each evening, but also around this time, the door opens and closes several times. I can recognize the Warden’s footsteps on the stone floor below. I imagine it won't be long before my hearing is as sharp as that of my fellow prisoners.

The Warden begins with an apology. “I’m very sorry,” he says, “but I forgot your newspaper to-night.” Then he adds the usual remark, “I don’t know how I came to forget it.”

The Warden starts with an apology. “I’m really sorry,” he says, “but I forgot your newspaper tonight.” Then he adds the typical comment, “I don’t know how I managed to forget it.”

“Don’t worry,” I say, “it doesn’t make any difference. I’ve read it.”

“Don't worry,” I say, “it doesn't make a difference. I've read it.”

The Warden stares at me incredulously. “You’ve read it! To-night’s paper?”

The Warden looks at me in disbelief. “You’ve read it! Tonight’s paper?”

[Pg 184]“Certainly,” I answer, “from beginning to end. Don’t you believe it?” And in proof of my statement I produce the paper.

[Pg 184]“Of course,” I reply, “from start to finish. You don’t believe me?” And to back up my claim, I show the paper.

The Warden gasps. “Well, how in the devil did you get that?”

The Warden gasps. “Well, how on earth did you get that?”

“Oh, come now! Don’t you understand that I’m a convict?” I say jeeringly. “You mustn’t expect me to answer such a question.”

“Oh, come on! Don’t you get that I’m a criminal?” I say mockingly. “You can’t expect me to respond to that question.”

The Warden takes it all in good part. “Well, Dan,” he says, turning to Grant, “this man seems to be on to the game all right. What shall we do to him for violating the rules and smashing our system?”

The Warden takes it all in stride. “Well, Dan,” he says, turning to Grant, “this guy clearly knows what’s going on. What should we do to him for breaking the rules and messing up our system?”

“Don’t you know,” I remark with a serious air, “that so long as you hold me a prisoner I don’t care a pin for your rules, and even less for your damn’d system. What do you say to that?”

“Don’t you know,” I say seriously, “that as long as you keep me locked up, I don’t care at all about your rules, and even less about your messed-up system. What do you think of that?”

“I say you’re a dangerous man, and the sooner we get you off on parole the better,” laughs the Warden. “But you will have to promise you won’t make more trouble for us after you get outside.”

“I think you’re a dangerous guy, and the sooner we get you out on parole, the better,” laughs the Warden. “But you need to promise you won’t cause any more trouble for us once you’re out.”

“Oh, you’re in for trouble, all right; whether I’m inside or out.” I say it in jest, but we know there is many a true word spoken in that way. The Warden will have many new problems to handle while he is in office; for the old way is worn out and the new way is surely coming. Fortunately he is a genuine progressive and the new has no terrors for him.

“Oh, you’re in for trouble, that’s for sure; whether I’m here or not.” I say it jokingly, but we both know there’s often some truth in a joke. The Warden will face a lot of new challenges while he’s in charge; the old methods are obsolete, and change is definitely on the way. Luckily, he’s a real progressive, so the new doesn’t scare him at all.

[Pg 185]Taking up the serious part of our business, the Warden says he must go out of town again to-morrow; and be gone over Sunday.

[Pg 185]Getting to the serious part of our discussion, the Warden says he has to leave town again tomorrow and will be away over the weekend.

“What about that poor fellow they dragged down to the jail night before last?” I ask.

“What about that poor guy they took to jail the night before last?” I ask.

“Oh, you’re all wrong about that matter,” the Warden answers. “He was insolent and violent, flung his bucket at the keeper’s head, and there was nothing to do but punish him. I’ve inquired into it and the officers were all right.”

“Oh, you’re all mistaken about that,” the Warden replies. “He was rude and aggressive, threw his bucket at the keeper’s head, and we had no choice but to punish him. I’ve looked into it, and the officers acted appropriately.”

“You are being deceived,” is my comment. “These men realize they are in bad. They’re afraid of the truth; and they’re steering you wrong. Take my word for it, Warden, there is more in that affair than they are permitting you to know. And you are up against the System as well as the prisoners themselves.”

“You're being misled,” I said. “These guys know they're in trouble. They're scared of the truth; and they're leading you astray. Trust me, Warden, there's more to this situation than they're letting on. You're dealing with the System as much as with the prisoners themselves.”

The Warden is troubled, no man has a heartier dislike of being made the victim of dishonesty or hypocrisy than he. “Well, what had better be done?” he asks. “I shall be very busy to-morrow before I go.”

The Warden is worried; no one hates being a victim of dishonesty or hypocrisy more than he does. “So, what should we do?” he asks. “I’ll be very busy tomorrow before I leave.”

“Suppose we wait then,” I suggest. “The man is probably not being abused now, wherever he is; and after I get out of here you can have a thorough examination made. I can guarantee plenty of material to enable you to get to the bottom of it.”

“Let’s wait for now,” I suggest. “The guy is probably not in danger right now, wherever he is; and once I leave here, you can have a complete investigation done. I can promise you that there will be plenty of information to help you figure this out.”

“I am more than ever sorry I have to go away,” says the Warden. “Now how about the jail?[Pg 186] Are you still determined to go there? And, if so, how do you propose to be sent?”

“I’m more sorry than ever that I have to leave,” says the Warden. “So, what’s the deal with the jail?[Pg 186] Are you still set on going there? And if you are, how do you plan to get sent?”

“Well, as you know, I don’t wish to be a fool about this thing, nor do I want to run any unnecessary risk. To-day I felt very sick; and, to be quite frank, if I should feel to-morrow as I did to-day I couldn’t be hired to go to jail. But I feel so much better to-night that I think I shall be in good condition to-morrow. So what I propose is this. Let Dan come here to-morrow noon, and if I feel all right we can put through our plan. I did intend to go down to the jail to-morrow morning, so as to have the whole twenty-four hours there; but it would be better to wait until after dinner. There is no use in taking too large a dose. I ought to get all necessary information in—say, four hours.

“Well, as you know, I don’t want to be a fool about this, nor do I want to take any unnecessary risks. Today I felt really sick, and to be honest, if I feel like I did today tomorrow, I wouldn’t go to jail for anything. But I feel much better tonight, so I think I’ll be in good shape tomorrow. So here’s what I propose: let Dan come here tomorrow at noon, and if I feel okay, we can move forward with our plan. I was planning to go to the jail tomorrow morning to have the whole twenty-four hours there, but it would be better to wait until after lunch. There’s no point in taking too much at once. I should be able to get all the necessary information in—let’s say, four hours."

“Some time in the afternoon, then, I will simply strike work. Grant can tip off the Captain; and he will send me to the P. K. Of course, if a fellow refuses to work, the only thing they can do is to send him to the punishment cells. If you were to be here I had thought of putting in a warden’s call; and then of being so insolent to you that you would have no recourse but to order me punished. I should quite enjoy telling you what I think of your rotten old institution. But if you’re going away that plan’s no good, so we’ll try the other.”

“Some time in the afternoon, I’m just going to stop working. Grant can inform the Captain, and he’ll send me to the P. K. Of course, if someone refuses to work, the only thing they can do is send them to the punishment cells. If you were here, I had thought about making a call for a warden; then I would be so disrespectful to you that you’d have no choice but to order me punished. I would really enjoy telling you exactly what I think of your terrible old institution. But if you’re leaving, that plan won’t work, so we’ll go with the other one.”

“I think your present plan is better,” says the[Pg 187] Warden. “I should hate to have you tell me what you really think of us. Well, that ought to work out all right. Now how long do you say you want to stay there?”

“I think your current plan is better,” says the[Pg 187] Warden. “I would hate to hear what you really think of us. Well, that should work out fine. So, how long do you say you want to stay there?”

“Well, I don’t know that I’m anxious to stay any longer than just to get a good idea of what the place is like. I want to feel the flavor of it. But if I should be down there alone, it won’t be very exciting. Suppose I go down about four o’clock; and Dan can come down and let me out about eight, or half-past seven, or say, seven. I think three hours will be a big enough dose.”

“Well, I’m not really eager to stay any longer than just to get a good feel for the place. I want to soak in the vibe of it. But if I end up down there by myself, it won’t be very thrilling. How about I go down around four o’clock; and Dan can come down and pick me up around eight, or half-past seven, or maybe just seven. I think three hours will be more than enough.”

“I’ve ordered some clothes cleaned for you,” says the Warden, “so those are all right. Well, Dan,” he adds, turning to Grant, “is everything perfectly clear?”

“I’ve had some clothes cleaned for you,” says the Warden, “so those are all set. Well, Dan,” he adds, turning to Grant, “is everything completely clear?”

Thus it is arranged. I say good-bye to the Warden; and tell him that the Chaplain has asked me to say a few words to the men in chapel on Sunday. The Warden thinks it a good idea, and adds that the details about my leaving the prison can be arranged with Grant to-morrow. The general plan is that I shall go out on Sunday, marching back with the men after the chapel exercises. I can then take my belongings from the cell and go quietly up to the Warden’s quarters, where I can wash and dress.

So that's the plan. I say goodbye to the Warden and mention that the Chaplain has asked me to speak to the men in chapel on Sunday. The Warden agrees that it's a good idea and adds that the details about my departure from the prison can be sorted out with Grant tomorrow. The general plan is that I'll leave on Sunday, walking back with the men after the chapel service. Then I can grab my things from my cell and head up to the Warden’s quarters to wash and get dressed.

Our plans being thus settled, my visitors depart. Now to bed to see if I can get a good[Pg 188] sleep in preparation for the most exciting part of my exciting adventure.

Our plans being settled, my visitors leave. Now it's off to bed to see if I can get a good[Pg 188] sleep to prepare for the most thrilling part of my exciting adventure.

It is curious how far I have fallen into the prison rut. In the evening I find myself no longer thinking of my home or wondering what my family and friends are doing, unless I make a conscious mental effort. The tendency of this life is always to flatten one’s thoughts, like one’s actions, to a gray uniformity—a deadening routine.

It’s interesting how deeply I’ve gotten stuck in this prison routine. In the evenings, I notice that I hardly think about home or wonder what my family and friends are up to, unless I actively make an effort to do so. The nature of this life tends to dull one’s thoughts, just like one’s actions, into a dull sameness—a monotonous routine.

Another sign that I had better be getting away from this place: I am losing all respect for authority of every kind. It is a mistake to suppose that rigid discipline increases respect for authority; it usually does nothing of the sort. In this place it increases disrespect, for many reasons which it is unnecessary to mention here. Whatever the reasons, the fact is undeniable. I believe every man in this place hates and detests the system under which he lives. He hates it even when he gets along without friction. He hates it because he knows it is bad; for it tends to crush slowly but irresistibly the good in himself.

Another sign that I really need to leave this place: I'm losing all respect for authority in every form. It’s a mistake to think that strict discipline leads to respect for authority; it usually does quite the opposite. Here, it breeds disrespect for many reasons that I don’t need to explain. Whatever the reasons, the reality is clear. I believe every person here loathes the system they live under. They detest it even when things are running smoothly. They hate it because they know it’s harmful; it slowly but surely crushes the good within them.

 

 


CHAPTER XII

SATURDAY

 

In my cell, Saturday noon, October 4.

In my cell, Saturday noon, October 4.

This morning,—the morning of my last full day in prison,—dawns bright and sunny; a pleasant change from the dark, cloudy and oppressive weather we have been having. The routine of my day has become firmly established now; and I conform to it almost without thought. At six I arise. As I sleep in my one suit of underclothes, my dressing may be said to have already begun. I add my socks and the clumsy state shoes, which are on the chair close at hand. Then I am ready to stand upon the stone pavement of the cell. After this I gain space, and at the same time put my house in order, by hanging up mattress, pillow and blankets, and turning the iron bed up under them against the wall. Then I brush my teeth, wash my face and comb my hair. Then I finish dressing[Pg 190] by putting on shirt, trousers, coat and cap. These and other necessary operations completed, I am ready for the day.

This morning—the morning of my last full day in prison—starts bright and sunny; a nice change from the dark, cloudy, and oppressive weather we've been having. My daily routine has now become well established, and I follow it almost automatically. I get up at six. Since I sleep in my one set of underwear, you could say I've already started getting dressed. I put on my socks and the bulky state shoes that are on the chair nearby. Then I'm ready to stand on the stone floor of my cell. After that, I create some space and tidy up by hanging my mattress, pillow, and blankets, and then propping the iron bed up against the wall. Next, I brush my teeth, wash my face, and comb my hair. Finally, I finish getting dressed[Pg 190] by putting on my shirt, trousers, coat, and cap. With these and other necessary tasks done, I'm ready for the day.

In the midst of my toilet the electric light is switched on; so that the latter part has been accomplished with its aid. As I have dressed leisurely there is not very long to wait before I hear the clicking, which marks the unlocking of the levers, far around the corner to my left. Already, however, I have heard the tread of shuffling feet in the corridor below; and know that the first company has already started down the yard.

In the middle of my bathroom routine, the electric light is turned on; so I've completed the latter part with its help. Since I’ve gotten dressed at a relaxed pace, it doesn’t take long before I hear the clicking sound, which indicates the unlocking of the levers, just around the corner to my left. However, I've already heard the sound of shuffling feet in the hallway below; and I know that the first group has already headed down to the yard.

All the familiar sounds,—the familiar routine,—seem to give me a sort of strange, new feeling on this last day. It seems so curious that something which now seems like the established order of the universe should ever have been unfamiliar, or that it should so soon come to an end—at least, so far as I am concerned.

All the familiar sounds—the familiar routine—give me a strange, new feeling on this last day. It’s so odd that something that now feels like the normal order of things was once unfamiliar, or that it’s about to come to an end—at least for me.

The levers click; the captain unlocks the cells; the long bar is raised; the doors are opened; the galleries are filled with hurrying figures carrying the heavy iron buckets; and my company forms at the foot of the stairs.

The levers click; the captain unlocks the cells; the long bar is raised; the doors are opened; the hallways are filled with rushing figures carrying heavy iron buckets; and my group gathers at the bottom of the stairs.

What special reason there is for so much haste I have not yet discovered; but I presume that the officers put off their arrival at the prison to the very last moment, allowing the shortest possible[Pg 191] time for the operations between their arrival and breakfast.

What special reason there is for all this rushing, I haven't figured out yet; but I guess the officers delayed getting to the prison until the last possible moment, giving the least amount of [Pg 191] time for things to happen between their arrival and breakfast.

The air and sunshine are pleasant and invigorating as we march down the yard and back, emptying and leaving the buckets as usual. Then to my cell where I sweep out and shut myself in.

The air and sunshine feel nice and refreshing as we walk back and forth in the yard, emptying and leaving the buckets like we always do. Then I go to my room, where I sweep up and lock myself in.

Soon comes breakfast with its regular routine. I have laid off my cap; as the lever is pressed down I push open the grated door, let Stuhlmiller, Bell and the other two who march in front of me pass by; then fall in between them and the next man. We traverse the short gallery to the right, descend the iron steps and line up in the corridor; standing motionless, with folded arms. As the Captain’s stick strikes the stone pavement the line begins to move. Then at a second rap we march rapidly to the mess-hall. Just within the door we salute the P. K.; then swing to the right, turn to the left, pass alongside the men who have already taken their seats and are eating, and reach our shelf or table. As we stand at our places, comes one rap; and we lean down and pull out our stools, standing again erect. A second rap; and we sit. Throughout the meal the Captain stands, rigid and silent, in the aisle at our right.

Soon it's breakfast time with the usual routine. I take off my cap; when the lever is pressed down, I push open the grated door, let Stuhlmiller, Bell, and the other two who are walking in front of me go by; then I fall in between them and the next guy. We walk down the short gallery to the right, go down the iron steps, and line up in the corridor, standing still with our arms crossed. When the Captain’s stick hits the stone floor, the line starts to move. Then at a second signal, we march quickly to the mess hall. Just inside the door, we salute the P.K.; then we turn right, turn left, pass by the guys who are already sitting and eating, and reach our shelf or table. As we stand in our places, there's one tap; we bend down and pull out our stools, standing up straight again. A second tap; and we sit down. Throughout the meal, the Captain stands, stiff and silent, in the aisle on our right.

Our Saturday breakfast is rice; which I eat with relish. My appetite is in excellent working order this morning, after a good night’s rest;[Pg 192] and I am feeling in fine physical condition. There can be no question about the punishment cell; no one who feels as well as I do has any excuse for not misbehaving himself. In dressing this morning I took up my belt another notch. My youngest was quite right when he asserted that I should not be so fat when I came out; I must have lost several pounds.

Our Saturday breakfast is rice, which I enjoy a lot. My appetite is great this morning after a good night’s sleep;[Pg 192] and I feel really good physically. There's no doubt about the punishment cell; no one who feels as good as I do has any excuse for misbehaving. While getting dressed this morning, I tightened my belt another notch. My youngest was absolutely right when he said I shouldn't be so heavy when I get out; I must have lost a few pounds.

I carefully avoid the coffee this morning; no more bootleg for me! I reserve my thirst for a good drink of water when I get back to the cell.

I’m carefully avoiding coffee this morning; no more bootleg for me! I’m saving my thirst for a good drink of water when I get back to the cell.

Already, while we are stowing away our breakfast, the companies in our rear are departing; and now our turn comes. One rap; and we rise and set back our stools. A second rap; and spoons in hand (no use for knives and forks at this breakfast) we march in double file down the middle aisle,—holding our spoons high for the officers to see and dropping them into the proper receptacles at the door. Then back through the stone corridor, up the iron stairs and along the gallery to the cells. In these, as there is the wait of half an hour or more before shop-time, we are double-locked.

Already, while we’re wrapping up our breakfast, the groups behind us are leaving; now it’s our turn. One knock, and we get up and move our stools back. Another knock, and with spoons in hand (no need for knives and forks at this breakfast), we file down the middle aisle, holding our spoons high for the officers to see and dropping them into the designated containers at the door. Then, we head back through the stone corridor, up the iron staircase, and along the gallery to our cells. In these, since we have to wait half an hour or more before shop time, we are double-locked.

And now comes Dickinson, to wish me a final good-bye. He is in his citizen’s clothes, and can hardly wait to have the gate shut behind him.

And now Dickinson is here to say his final goodbye. He’s in his casual clothes and can barely wait for the gate to be closed behind him.

He assures me again of his desire and intention[Pg 193] to go straight and make good; and I put through the bars two fingers which he grasps as fervently as he would my whole hand, if he could get it. Another moment, and the brave, well-meaning fellow is gone. If a man like this does not succeed, it is not his fault; but the fault of the System which fails to strengthen his power of self-control and ability to bear responsibility.

He reassures me once more of his wish and intention[Pg 193] to turn his life around and make amends; I stick my two fingers through the bars, which he grips as tightly as he would my entire hand if he could reach it. A moment later, the brave, well-meaning guy is gone. If someone like him doesn't succeed, it's not his fault; it's the System's fault for not helping him build self-control and the capacity to take responsibility.

After Dickinson’s departure comes one of the trusties, bringing the information which I passed the word along yesterday to get for me. Then I write in my journal and read some of the kites which have reached me. The latest one I find under the blankets,—tucked into the strap which holds up my mattress—a most ingenious hiding place.

After Dickinson leaves, one of the trusted people arrives with the information I asked for yesterday. Then I write in my journal and read some of the letters I've received. The newest one I find under the blankets—tucked into the strap that holds up my mattress—a really clever hiding spot.

Then comes work-time. Again the captain unlocks the levers; and again I follow along the gallery to the iron stairway and the yard door. After a much shorter period of waiting than at our earlier march, we start off and go directly down the yard and around the corner to the basket-shop.

Then it’s work time. Once more, the captain unlocks the levers; and again I follow along the hallway to the metal staircase and the yard door. After waiting for a much shorter time than during our earlier march, we head out and go straight down the yard and around the corner to the basket shop.

“Good morning, Tom!” “Good morning, Jack!” and we are off to work in good time.

“Good morning, Tom!” “Good morning, Jack!” and we’re off to work on time.

“Well, old pal, how are you feeling to-day?”

“Well, old friend, how are you feeling today?”

I look up and catch an anxious look in my partner’s eyes. I laugh as I answer: “Oh, I’m all right; and in fine fighting trim.”

I look up and see an anxious expression in my partner’s eyes. I laugh as I reply, “Oh, I’m good; and in great shape for a fight.”

[Pg 194]I know what he means; and he knows what I mean. It is the shadow of the jail that is between us.

[Pg 194]I understand what he means, and he understands what I mean. It’s the shadow of the prison that lies between us.

“Come on now, Jack,” I say; “don’t worry about me. I shall get through it all right.”

“Come on now, Jack,” I say; “don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

“But you don’t know what it means,” he insists anxiously. “One hour of that misery is worse than a week of the worst kind of pain. You’d better think it over.”

“But you don’t understand what it means,” he insists nervously. “One hour of that agony is worse than a week of the worst pain imaginable. You should really think it over.”

“Well, I’ll tell you, Jack; I have reconsidered it and I don’t believe I shall stay so long as I intended. In fact I had planned to go down this morning but I shall wait until afternoon. I’ll get all I want of it in about three or four hours.”

“Well, I’ll tell you, Jack; I’ve thought it over and I don’t think I’ll stay as long as I planned. Actually, I was going to head down this morning, but I’ll wait until the afternoon. I’ll get everything I need in about three or four hours.”

“You can just bet you will,” and Jack turns away with a discouraged air to pick up a fresh batch of rattan. I’m afraid he thinks me a very obstinate and unreasonable person.

“You can count on it,” Jack replies, turning away with a defeated look to grab a new batch of rattan. I worry he sees me as a really stubborn and unreasonable person.

The rattan seems to be worse than ever this morning. They’ve tried cold water, and they’ve tried hot water, and they’ve tried steam; but like the White Queen’s shawl, “there’s no pleasing it.” It still remains quite unfit to work with; and for the sake of the future usefulness of my fingers I can’t help thinking it’s just as well that my prison bit is drawing to a close.

The rattan seems to be worse than ever this morning. They’ve tried cold water, hot water, and even steam; but like the White Queen’s shawl, “there’s no pleasing it.” It still isn’t suitable to work with, and for the sake of my fingers' future usefulness, I can’t help but think it’s just as well that my time here is coming to an end.

As we are working away, one of our shopmates comes over to me (the same who accused me yesterday of working too hard) and says:[Pg 195] “Well, Brown, I think you must be taking in the jail to-day.”

As we’re working, one of my coworkers comes up to me (the same one who accused me yesterday of working too hard) and says:[Pg 195] “Well, Brown, I think you must be heading to jail today.”

My surprise is great. No one, except Jack, Grant and the Warden, were aware of my intention, so far as I knew.

My surprise is huge. No one, except Jack, Grant, and the Warden, knew about my plan, as far as I was aware.

“What made you think of that?” I ask.

“What made you think of that?” I ask.

“Oh, they had a jail suit washed yesterday; so I guess they’re getting ready for you,” is the reply.

“Oh, they had a jail suit washed yesterday, so I guess they’re getting ready for you,” is the reply.

These men are certainly sharp. They can “see a church by daylight.”

These guys are definitely sharp. They can "spot a church in broad daylight."

We work busily at our basket-making through the morning, Jack and I—our last day together. I am actually beginning to feel that, if it were not for the pressure of business in my office and some engagements in New York City next week, I should like to stay longer among these new friends. But it may not be. I have secured what I came for—far more than I expected. And now the next question is: what can be done with this knowledge? How can it be utilized for the state? and incidentally to help these men who need help so badly?

We’re busy working on our basket-making this morning, Jack and I—our last day together. I’m really starting to feel that, if it weren’t for the demands of my job and some commitments in New York City next week, I would want to stay longer with these new friends. But it seems it’s not meant to be. I’ve gotten what I came for—much more than I expected. Now the next question is: what can we do with this knowledge? How can it be used for the state? And also, how can we help these men who really need it?

The noon-hour approaches. “Is it good-bye, now, Tom?” says my partner, sadly.

The noon-hour is coming up. “Is this goodbye, Tom?” my partner asks, sadly.

“Oh, no,” I answer. “You don’t get rid of me so easily as that. I shall be back this afternoon.”

“Oh, no,” I reply. “You can’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll be back this afternoon.”

Jack looks relieved; and we fall into line as usual—the last time I shall march out of the[Pg 196] shop with these men, my close prison companions of six days.

Jack looks relieved, and we line up as usual—the last time I’ll be walking out of the[Pg 196] shop with these guys, my close prison mates from the past six days.

Down to the bucket stands; up the yard; into the north wing; up the iron stairs; along the gallery; and around the corner to my cell. Then off with my cap and coat; some water on my face; a comb passed through my hair and I am ready for dinner. I have time to write a few paragraphs in my journal before we march to the mess-room.

Down to the bucket stands; up the yard; into the north wing; up the metal stairs; along the hallway; and around the corner to my cell. Then off with my cap and coat; some water on my face; a comb passed through my hair and I'm ready for dinner. I have time to write a few paragraphs in my journal before we head to the mess hall.

For dinner roast beef, potatoes and some sort of preserve; quite the best meal we have had. I must eat enough to last over until to-morrow morning; although for that matter the supper in jail will be similar to those I’ve had every day—bread and water. But I feel as if the ordeal I am to pass through may need all my strength. So I make good use of my knife and fork; and again find the dinner time almost too short for a square meal.

For dinner, we had roast beef, potatoes, and some kind of jam; it was definitely the best meal we've had. I need to eat enough to hold me over until tomorrow morning, even though the supper in jail will be the same as it has been every day—just bread and water. But I feel like the challenge I’m about to face might take all my strength. So I make good use of my knife and fork, and once again find that dinner time is almost too short for a proper meal.

Back to the cell, where I arrange everything for an indefinite absence. Then, as I am writing in my journal, I am interrupted by the arrival of Grant. He comes to find out if there is any change of mind on my part regarding the jail; and, if not, to make final arrangements. I tell him I never felt in better health; and that I’m ready to carry out the plan made last night. “I will strike work,” I tell him, “between half past[Pg 197] three and four; and be sent to the jail. You had better come for me there about seven o’clock. Don’t make it any later,” I add, “because I certainly will have had a sufficient taste of it by that time; and I see no reason for remaining any longer than is necessary. So please be on time.”

Back in the cell, I organize everything for an indefinite absence. While I'm writing in my journal, I'm interrupted by Grant's arrival. He's here to see if I've changed my mind about the jail; if not, to finalize arrangements. I tell him I've never felt better and that I'm ready to execute the plan we made last night. “I’ll stop working,” I say, “between half past[Pg 197] three and four, and be sent to the jail. You should come for me around seven o’clock. Don’t make it any later,” I add, “because I will have definitely had enough of it by then, and I don’t see any reason to stay longer than necessary. So please be on time.”

Somehow Jack’s warnings and admonitions, while they have not turned me from my purpose, have produced a feeling of disinclination to stay in the jail beyond a reasonable time. What is to be feared I am sure I do not know; or even that I fear anything. It is certainly not the pleasantest place in the world; but—well! I simply cannot understand why these men all speak of it in the way they do.

Somehow, Jack’s warnings and advice haven’t changed my mind, but they’ve made me feel like I shouldn’t stay in the jail longer than necessary. I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to be afraid of, or if I’m even afraid of anything at all. It’s definitely not the nicest place in the world, but—well! I just can’t figure out why these guys talk about it the way they do.

So Grant goes away; and now I close my journal. To-morrow morning I shall be too busy to write in it, as I shall be preparing the remarks I want to make to the men in chapel; that is, if the chaplain holds to his suggestion of calling upon me. I never like to attempt a speech of any kind unprepared; even an extempore and unexpected speech is so much better for a little preliminary improvising.

So Grant leaves, and now I'm closing my journal. Tomorrow morning I’ll be too busy to write in it, because I'll be getting ready for the remarks I want to make to the guys in chapel, assuming the chaplain sticks to his suggestion of asking me. I never like to give a speech of any kind without preparation; even a spontaneous and unexpected speech is way better with a bit of initial brainstorming.

So here I write the last page within the walls; and go forth from my cell to embark upon the last round of my great adventure. I never expected to end my prison term with regrets; and I am probably the first man who ever did.

So here I write the last page inside these walls; and I step out of my cell to start the final leg of my great adventure. I never thought I’d finish my prison term with regrets; and I’m probably the first person who ever has.

[Pg 198]At the end of the gallery I hear the familiar sound of the key turning in the locks; so here go for the last time my pencils and paper into the locker, as I put on my cap and coat and prepare to follow the Captain to my final hours in the basket-shop.

[Pg 198]At the end of the gallery, I hear the familiar sound of the key turning in the locks. It's time for the last time to put my pencils and paper into the locker as I put on my cap and coat, getting ready to follow the Captain to my last hours in the basket shop.


Thus far my prison journal carries us. From this time on, for reasons which will be apparent, I have to depend upon subsequent memory. It is only fair to say, however, that it is memory made peculiarly clear by the unusual character of the circumstances.

Thus far, my prison journal has brought us here. From now on, for reasons that will become clear, I have to rely on my memory. It's only fair to mention that my memory is particularly vivid because of the unusual nature of these circumstances.


The Captain unlocks the levers; the cells are opened; and we march down to the shop. With a serious face and without his usual greeting Jack joins me at our work-table.

The Captain unlocks the levers; the cells are opened; and we head down to the shop. With a serious expression and without his usual greeting, Jack joins me at our work table.

In fact Jack is not in very good spirits; and I have to do most of the cheerful part. This is not surprising; when one thinks it over. A rather exciting episode in Jack’s life is coming to an end; while the most exciting part of my adventure is just beginning. After that, I am going out, my life enriched with an unusual and interesting experience; while he is going back to the old, dull, depressing routine. Is it any wonder that he feels gloomy?

In fact, Jack isn't in great spirits, and I have to take on most of the cheerful part. This isn’t surprising when you think about it. A pretty exciting chapter in Jack’s life is wrapping up, while the most thrilling part of my adventure is just starting. After that, I’m heading out, my life enriched with a unique and interesting experience, while he’s going back to the same old, boring, depressing routine. Is it any wonder he feels down?

For about two hours, from half past one to a quarter past three, we both work away faithfully on our basket-making; and then as I finish off[Pg 199] my last bottom I turn to my partner. “Well, old man, the time will be here pretty soon; and I may as well get ready for it. I think I’ll go over and wash up.”

For about two hours, from 1:30 to 3:15, we both diligently work on our basket-making; and then as I finish my last bottom[Pg 199], I turn to my partner. “Well, old man, the time will be here pretty soon; I might as well get ready for it. I think I’ll go wash up.”

So I raise my hand for permission; and upon seeing the Captain nod, as I suppose, I take Jack’s soap and towel which we still use in common and go to the sink. On my way back, as I pass the Captain’s desk, he stops me. “Brown, don’t you know that you mustn’t leave your place without permission?”

So I raise my hand for permission, and when the Captain nods—at least, that's what I think—I grab Jack’s soap and towel, which we still share, and head to the sink. On my way back, as I walk past the Captain’s desk, he stops me. “Brown, don’t you know you can’t leave your spot without permission?”

“Yes, sir,” is my reply, “but I raised my hand.”

“Yes, sir,” I reply, “but I raised my hand.”

“I didn’t see it.”

"I didn't see it."

“Why, I thought I saw you nod, sir.”

“Hey, I thought I saw you nod, sir.”

“I did not.”

"I didn't."

“Well, I am sorry, sir.” Then it occurs to me that this reprimand gives a good chance to settle the jail matter at once. Feeling somewhat surprised at my own boldness, I assume a rather insolent air and remark, “But it makes very little difference; because I’ve decided that I’ll not work any more.”

“Well, I’m sorry, sir.” Then I realize that this scolding gives me a great opportunity to address the jail issue right away. Feeling a bit shocked at my own audacity, I take on a slightly disrespectful attitude and say, “But it really doesn’t matter much; because I’ve made up my mind that I won’t work anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

"What do you mean?"

“I mean that the rattan has been very stiff and rotten, and my fingers are getting badly swollen and blistered. We have complained but it doesn’t seem to make any difference. The rattan is as bad as ever; and I shall not go on with it.”

“I mean that the rattan has been very stiff and rotten, and my fingers are getting badly swollen and blistered. We have complained but it doesn’t seem to make any difference. The rattan is as bad as ever; and I’m not going to continue with it.”

“Do I understand that you refuse to work?”

"Are you saying that you won't work?"

“Well, that’s about the size of it.”

"Well, that’s basically it."

[Pg 200]There is an instant’s pause. Then——

[Pg 200]There’s a brief moment of silence. Then——

“Go and get your coat and cap.”

“Go get your coat and hat.”

The foregoing colloquy has been carried on in low tones for I have no wish to disturb the shop, or make a show of rebellion.[14]

The conversation has been held in quiet voices because I don’t want to disrupt the shop or appear to be causing trouble.[14]

I make my way back to our work-table. “Well, Jack, I’m in for it!”

I head back to our work table. “Well, Jack, I’m in trouble!”

“What did you tell him?”

“What did you say to him?”

“I refused to work any longer.”

"I'm done working."

“Gee! You’ll get it in the neck, sure enough. You’ve committed a serious offense.”

“Wow! You’re definitely going to pay for that. You’ve done something really bad.”

“That’s all right; but I wish my hands weren’t so sticky. I can’t get them clean with that cold water.”

“That’s okay; but I wish my hands weren’t so sticky. I can’t get them clean with that cold water.”

“I’ll get you some hot water.”

“I’ll get you some hot water.”

Jack goes off to fulfill his errand; and I see that Grant has come into the shop and is talking to Captain Kane. Wondering if this is the first the latter has heard of my plan of action, I take my coat and cap down from the hook and put them on. The men begin to feel that [Pg 201]something is up; and a number of them cease work and stare as an officer steps up to our table.

Jack heads out to run his errand, and I notice that Grant has entered the shop and is talking to Captain Kane. Wondering if this is the first time the captain has heard about my plan, I grab my coat and cap from the hook and put them on. The men start to sense that [Pg 201]something is going on; several of them stop working and stare as an officer approaches our table.

“Thomas Brown.”

“Thomas Brown.”

“Yes, sir.”

"Yes, sir."

“Come with me.”

“Join me.”

For a moment I wonder what he would do if I refused. I should like to try; but reluctantly conclude it would be better not. I turn and get one last glimpse of Jack’s mournful face, as he stands at a distance with the pail of hot water which he has just secured. Waving my hand to him and stepping off in front of the officer, I make my way out of the shop in the face of its surprised inmates.

For a moment, I think about what he would do if I said no. I’d kind of like to find out; but I reluctantly realize it’s probably best not to. I turn and catch one last look at Jack’s sad face as he stands a little way off with the bucket of hot water he just got. Waving to him and stepping in front of the officer, I head out of the shop, facing the surprised looks of the people inside.

In this order we traverse the yard; and again, as on the day of my advent, I feel strangely conscious of many sharp eyes looking out from the various buildings. It is about half past three o’clock.

In this sequence, we walk through the yard; and once again, like on the day I arrived, I can’t shake the feeling that many sharp eyes are watching me from the different buildings. It's around 3:30.

Just at the end of the south wing is a low building faced with stone, upon the ground floor of which is the jail office. The keeper who has me in charge guides me in and orders me to sit down. I do so. He then exchanges a few words with Captain Martin, who presides at the desk; hands him a yellow slip of paper and disappears up the yard toward the main building.

Just at the end of the south wing, there's a small stone building, and on the ground floor is the jail office. The officer in charge of me leads me inside and tells me to sit down. I do. He then has a brief conversation with Captain Martin, who is at the desk, hands him a yellow slip of paper, and then walks away toward the main building.

As I have said before, the one necessary virtue of prison life seems to be patience. I sit, and[Pg 202] sit; and my sitting continues, as Mark Twain says about the circular staircase at Niagara Falls, “long after it has ceased to be a novelty and terminates long before it begins to be a pleasure.”

As I’ve mentioned before, the only essential quality for life in prison seems to be patience. I sit, and[Pg 202] sit; and my sitting goes on, just like Mark Twain describes the circular staircase at Niagara Falls, “long after it has stopped being interesting and ends long before it starts being enjoyable.”

In the meantime, the members of the coal gang, returning from work to their cells in the south wing, pass by the door and, looking in, see me awaiting my doom. There is deep surprise on the faces of most of them. The young negro who offered me his mittens, the day we moved the coal cars—Tuesday morning, I think it was, but it seems a long time ago—gives me a cheering nod as he begins to climb the stairs. Then Captain Martin, noticing the attention I am attracting, shuts the door. But it is too late. Undoubtedly the wireless has flashed the message, “Tom Brown’s pinched,” into every nook and corner of the prison by this time.

In the meantime, the coal gang members, coming back from work to their cells in the south wing, walk by the door and, looking in, see me waiting for my fate. Most of their faces show deep surprise. The young Black man who offered me his mittens the day we moved the coal cars—Tuesday morning, I think, but it feels like ages ago—gives me an encouraging nod as he starts to head up the stairs. Then Captain Martin, noticing the attention I'm getting, shuts the door. But it's too late. No doubt the word has already spread like wildfire, “Tom Brown’s caught,” throughout every corner of the prison by now.

At last the P. K. makes his appearance. He takes his seat with an assumption of great dignity in an arm chair; and I rise and stand silently before him. He examines at leisure the yellow slip of paper which Captain Martin has handed to him, and clears his throat. “Thomas Brown,” he begins, “you are reported for refusing to work”; and he looks up interrogatively.

At last, the P.K. shows up. He sits down with a sense of great dignity in an armchair, and I stand quietly in front of him. He leisurely looks over the yellow slip of paper that Captain Martin gave him and clears his throat. “Thomas Brown,” he starts, “you’ve been reported for refusing to work,” and he looks up with a questioning expression.

“Yes, sir.”

"Yes, sir."

“What have you to say for yourself?”

“What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Well, sir, the rattan has been so stiff and rotten that we couldn’t do good work, sir; and[Pg 203] you can see for yourself that my fingers are getting swollen and blistered.”

“Well, sir, the rattan has been so stiff and worn out that we couldn’t do a good job, sir; and[Pg 203] you can see for yourself that my fingers are getting swollen and blistered.”

“You should have made a complaint to the Captain.”

“You should have filed a complaint with the Captain.”

“So we did, sir; but it didn’t make any difference. So I just told him that I wouldn’t work any more.”

“So we did, sir; but it didn’t change anything. So I just told him that I wouldn’t work anymore.”

There is a moment’s pause.

There's a brief pause.

“Well, Brown, this is a very serious offense—refusing to work; and, if you persist in it, I fear you will have to be punished.”

“Well, Brown, this is a really serious offense—refusing to work; and if you keep it up, I’m afraid you’ll have to face some consequences.”

“I can’t help that, sir.”

"I can't help that, sir."

“Do you still refuse to work?”

“Do you still refuse to work?”

“Yes, sir. I shall not work under existing conditions in the shop.”

“Yes, sir. I won’t work under the current conditions in the shop.”

“Well, Brown; I’m very sorry to punish you; but I have to obey the orders laid down in such cases by those in higher authority than I am. Captain Martin, you will take charge of this man.”

“Well, Brown; I’m really sorry to punish you; but I have to follow the orders set by those who are higher up than I am. Captain Martin, you will take over this man.”

The P. K. takes his departure. Captain Martin leisurely unhooks a large key from a locker behind his chair and saying briefly: “In here, Brown,” opens a solid iron door in the wall. We are in the passage which leads to the death chamber; that terrible spot where those who are adjudged guilty by Society of coldly calculated and brutal murder are by coldly calculated and brutal murder put to death by Society. As if one crime of such nature done by a single man, acting [Pg 204]individually, can be expiated by a similar crime done by all men, acting collectively!

The P. K. takes his leave. Captain Martin casually unhooks a large key from a locker behind his chair and says briefly, “In here, Brown,” as he opens a heavy iron door in the wall. We’re in the corridor that leads to the execution chamber; that awful place where those judged guilty by Society of coldly calculated and brutal murder are put to death by coldly calculated and brutal murder by Society. As if one crime of this kind committed by a single person, acting [Pg 204]individually, can be atoned for by a similar crime committed by everyone, acting together!

We traverse the passage, up to the very door of the death chamber. Here is another iron door on the right. This is unlocked and opened; and we enter the jail.

We walk down the corridor, right up to the door of the death chamber. On the right, there's another iron door. It's unlocked and we push it open; we step inside the jail.


It may be well, before beginning the next chapter, to explain just what the jail is like.

It might be a good idea, before starting the next chapter, to describe what the jail is like.

Up to the advent of Superintendent Riley, there were in Auburn Prison two types of punishment cells: the jail, and the screen cells. The latter are built into the regular cell blocks and are about three and a half feet wide with the same length and height as the regular cells. They have solid doors of sheet iron pierced by a few round holes about the size of a slate pencil. These holes are probably of comparatively recent origin. The doors of similar cells at Sing Sing and Dannemora had no openings except for a small slit at the extreme bottom and top.

Up until Superintendent Riley took charge, Auburn Prison had two types of punishment cells: the jail and the screen cells. The screen cells are part of the regular cell blocks and are about three and a half feet wide, with the same length and height as the regular cells. They have solid sheet iron doors with a few round holes, roughly the size of a pencil. These holes were likely added more recently. In contrast, the doors of similar cells at Sing Sing and Dannemora had no openings except for a small slit at the very bottom and top.

Ventilation there was none; the occupant breathed as best he could, lay on the damp stone floor and went insane for lack of light and air, within full hearing of the officers—and incidentally of the other prisoners. The use of the screen cells at Auburn was ordered discontinued by Superintendent Riley immediately after he had seen and condemned those at Dannemora.

Ventilation was non-existent; the occupant did his best to breathe, lay on the damp stone floor, and lost his mind from the lack of light and air, all while being fully audible to the officers—and, incidentally, to the other prisoners. Superintendent Riley ordered that the use of the screen cells at Auburn be discontinued right after he saw and condemned those at Dannemora.

The jail at Auburn is at present the place where all offenders against prison discipline are sent for punishment.

The jail at Auburn is currently where all violators of prison rules are sent for punishment.

Whether the offense is whispering in the shop or a[Pg 205] murderous assault upon an inmate or a keeper, the punishment is exactly the same—varying only in length. So far as I can learn, there is no specific term for any offense; so that when a man goes to the jail, he never knows how long he may be kept there. The official view, as I understand it, is that no matter what the cause for which the man is sent to the jail, he had better stay there until “his spirit is broken.”

Whether the offense is whispering in the shop or a[Pg 205] violent assault on an inmate or a guard, the punishment is exactly the same—just varying in length. From what I can gather, there isn't a specific term for any offense; so when someone goes to jail, they never know how long they might be kept there. The official stance, as I understand it, is that regardless of the reason someone is sent to jail, it's better for them to stay until “their spirit is broken.”

The jail is admirably situated for the purpose of performing the operation of breaking a man’s spirit; for it has on one side the death chamber, and on the other the prison dynamo with its ceaseless grinding, night and day. It is a vaulted stone dungeon about fifty feet long and twenty wide. It is absolutely bare except for one wooden bench along the north end, a locker where the jail clothes are kept, and eight cells arranged in a row along the east wall and backing on the wall of the death chamber. The eight cells are of solid sheet iron; floor, sides, back and roof. They are studded with rivets, projecting about a quarter of an inch. At the time that Warden Rattigan came into office there was no other floor; the inmates slept on the bare iron—and the rivets! The cells are about four and a half feet wide, eight feet deep and nine feet high. There is a feeble attempt at ventilation—a small hole in the roof of the cell; which hole communicates with an iron pipe. Where the pipe goes is of no consequence for it does not ventilate. Practically there is no air in the cell except what percolates in through the extra heavily grated door.

The jail is perfectly located for breaking a person’s spirit. On one side, there's the death chamber, and on the other, the prison generator that never stops grinding, day and night. It’s a stone dungeon about fifty feet long and twenty feet wide. It’s completely bare except for a wooden bench at the north end, a locker for the jail clothes, and eight cells lined up along the east wall, against the wall of the death chamber. The eight cells are made of solid iron sheets—floor, sides, back, and roof. They’re covered in rivets that stick out about a quarter of an inch. When Warden Rattigan took over, there was no other flooring; the inmates had to sleep on the bare iron—and the rivets! Each cell is about four and a half feet wide, eight feet deep, and nine feet high. There’s a weak attempt at ventilation—a small hole in the roof of the cell connected to an iron pipe. Where the pipe leads doesn’t matter because it doesn’t provide fresh air. Basically, there’s no air in the cell except for what trickles in through the heavily grated door.

In the vaulted room outside there are two windows, one at either end, north and south. But so little light comes through these windows that except at midday on a[Pg 206] bright, sunny day, if you wish to see the inside of the cells after the doors are opened you must use the electric light. There are two of these and each is fastened to a long cord, so that it can be carried to the farthest of the eight cells. At the south end of the room is a toilet seat, and a sink with running water where the supply for the prisoners is drawn. Up to the time of Superintendent Riley’s and Warden Rattigan’s coming into office, the supply of water for each prisoner was limited to ONE GILL FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS!

In the vaulted room outside, there are two windows, one at each end, north and south. But so little light comes through these windows that except at midday on a[Pg 206] bright, sunny day, if you want to see inside the cells after the doors are opened, you have to use the electric light. There are two of these lights, and each is attached to a long cord, allowing it to be carried to the farthest of the eight cells. At the south end of the room, there’s a toilet seat and a sink with running water where the supply for the prisoners is drawn. Until Superintendent Riley and Warden Rattigan took office, the water supply for each prisoner was limited to One gill for 24 hours!

The sink was not used for the prisoners to wash, for the simple reason that the prisoners in the jail were not allowed to wash.

The sink wasn't for the prisoners to wash, mainly because the prisoners in the jail were not allowed to wash.

Other peculiarities of the jail system will be made clear in the next chapter.

Other unique aspects of the jail system will be explained in the next chapter.

 

 


CHAPTER XIII

A NIGHT IN HELL

 

As Captain Martin and I traverse the long stone passage leading from his office to the death chamber, I listen intently to catch any sound from the jail, for I am wondering whether or not I shall have any companions in misery; but nothing can be heard. Even when the Captain unlocks and opens the door on the right at the end of the passage and I step into the dungeon, there is no indication of any other inhabitants. Except for our own movements the silence is complete, although there is a peculiar reverberation of the vaulted roof which reëchoes every sound we make. I am aware of a sort of uncanny feeling about the place, as though there were some sort of living creature—man, ape, or devil—in every cell, with his face close to the bars, peering through and holding his breath.

As Captain Martin and I walk down the long stone corridor from his office to the execution chamber, I listen closely for any sounds from the jail, wondering if I’ll have any company in misery; but I hear nothing. Even when the Captain unlocks and opens the door on the right at the end of the passage and I step into the dungeon, there’s no sign of anyone else. Aside from our own movements, the silence is absolute, though there's a strange echo from the vaulted ceiling that amplifies every sound we make. I can't shake this eerie feeling about the place, as if there’s some living being—man, ape, or devil—in every cell, with his face pressed against the bars, peering through and holding his breath.

The Captain, going to a locker which is at his left, backing against the iron wall of the first cell, opens it and takes out a shirt, trousers, coat, cap, and a pair of felt shoes.

The Captain, walking over to a locker on his left, pressing against the iron wall of the first cell, opens it and pulls out a shirt, pants, coat, cap, and a pair of felt shoes.

[Pg 208]“Take off your clothes and put these on,” he says briefly.

[Pg 208]“Take off your clothes and put these on,” he says shortly.

I take the clothes as he hands them to me and place them upon a bench at my right, where I also sit and proceed to make the required change. If these are the clothes which have been carefully washed and cleaned for me, I should like to examine—at a safe distance—the ordinary ones. They must be filthy beyond words. And I suppose no one but a prisoner ever wonders or cares about the condition of the last man who wore them.

I take the clothes as he hands them to me and put them on a bench to my right, where I sit down and start to make the necessary changes. If these are the clothes that have been thoroughly washed and cleaned for me, I'd like to take a look—safely from a distance—at the regular ones. They must be absolutely disgusting. And I guess no one but a prisoner ever thinks or cares about the condition of the last person who wore them.

I take off my gray uniform, shirt and shoes, and as I stand in my underclothes the Captain feels me all over from head to toes to find out whether I have concealed about me a weapon or instrument of any kind. I presume the idea is to guard against suicide.

I take off my gray uniform, shirt, and shoes, and as I stand in my underwear, the Captain checks me from head to toe to see if I’ve hidden any weapons or tools. I assume the goal is to prevent suicide.

After I have been thoroughly searched I clothe myself in the soiled old shirt and trousers, put on the felt shoes, throw the coat over my shoulder and take my cap in my hand. I can not, for the life of me, see what use can be made of a cap in a dark cell. Before I hand over my own trousers to the Captain I take my handkerchief out of the pocket.

After I’ve been completely searched, I put on the dirty old shirt and pants, slip into the felt shoes, throw the coat over my shoulder, and grab my cap. I really can’t see why a cap would be useful in a dark cell. Before I give my own pants to the Captain, I take my handkerchief out of the pocket.

“You can’t have that,” says the Captain gruffly; and he snatches the handkerchief out of my hand.

“You can’t have that,” the Captain says gruffly, and he grabs the handkerchief out of my hand.

Well, of all the unbelievable stupidity!

Well, what total nonsense!

Suicide again, I suppose. But has it never occurred to anyone responsible for this System that[Pg 209] a man can strangle himself more easily with his undershirt or drawers than with his handkerchief?

Suicide again, I guess. But hasn't it ever crossed the minds of those in charge of this System that[Pg 209] a man can strangle himself more easily with his undershirt or underwear than with his handkerchief?

Ah! I recall it now—the case of that poor fellow who committed suicide down in this place several years ago. It was with his handkerchief that he strangled himself; so I have been told.

Ah! I remember it now—the case of that poor guy who took his own life here several years ago. He used his handkerchief to strangle himself, or at least that’s what I've heard.

The official remedy, therefore, for suicide in the punishment cells is to take away your handkerchief.

The official solution for dealing with suicide in punishment cells is to take away your handkerchief.

And then—leave you your underclothes.

And then—leave you your underwear.

In none too pleasant a frame of mind toward prison officialdom, I enter my iron cage. It is the first one of the eight and is absolutely empty of everything except a papier-mâché bucket. There is no seat, no bed, no mattress or bedding, no place to wash, no water to wash with, nothing—except the bucket. I presume I ought to be grateful even for that. But I wish it had a cover.

In a pretty bad mood about the prison staff, I step into my iron cage. It’s the first of eight and is completely empty except for a papier-mâché bucket. There’s no chair, no bed, no mattress or bedding, no place to wash, no water to wash with, nothing—just the bucket. I guess I should be thankful for that. But I wish it had a lid.

A convict trusty, who now appears within the radius of the electric light, hands me a round tin can, and the grated door is banged to and locked. I take my seat upon the floor and await developments.

A trusted inmate, who now stands in the glow of the electric light, hands me a round tin can, and the grated door slams shut and locks. I sit down on the floor and wait for what happens next.

Soon the trusty hands me, through an extra large slot in the door, a roll of pieces of newspaper, evidently intended for possible toilet purposes. There soon follows a slice of bread, and then there is poked through the slot the end of[Pg 210] a long tin funnel which holds a precise measure of water. I hold my tin can to the end of the funnel and receive a gill—neither more nor less than exactly one gill—which is to last me through the night. I never appreciated before what a small quantity is measured by a gill. The water covers the bottom of my tin can to the depth of about an inch and a half.

Soon, a dependable hand passes me a roll of newspaper through a large slot in the door, clearly meant for potential bathroom use. Next, a slice of bread comes through, and then the end of[Pg 210] a long tin funnel is pushed through the slot, which holds a precise measure of water. I position my tin can to the end of the funnel and receive exactly one gill—no more, no less—which is meant to last me through the night. I never realized how small a gill really is. The water fills the bottom of my tin can to about an inch and a half deep.

And three gills of water is all the inmates of this place are allowed in twenty-four hours.

And the inmates of this place are allowed only three gills of water in twenty-four hours.

And up to the time that Warden Rattigan took office and first visited the jail, all the water a man here was allowed in twenty-four hours was one gill!

And until Warden Rattigan started his job and visited the jail for the first time, the only water a person was allowed in a twenty-four-hour period was one gill!

No wonder the men down here go insane! No wonder they commit suicide!

No surprise that the guys down here lose their minds! No wonder they take their own lives!

The electric light, held close to the grated door of my iron cage, has enabled me thus far to see the operations of Captain Martin and the trusty. Now they pass along to the other cells, and I can see nothing except the fragments of their moving shadows on the wall opposite. But they are stopping at the doors of the other cells, and are evidently giving out more bread and gills of water. So there must be other prisoners; I shall not be alone in the darkness, thank Heaven!

The electric light, held close to the grated door of my iron cage, has allowed me to see what Captain Martin and the trusty are doing so far. Now they’re moving on to the other cells, and I can only see the shadows of them moving on the opposite wall. But they’re stopping at the other cell doors and clearly distributing more bread and cups of water. So there must be other prisoners; I won’t be alone in the dark, thank goodness!

Having finished their duties, the trusty departs and the Captain follows; after extinguishing the[Pg 211] electric light. The iron door turns on its hinges and is slammed shut; the key grates in the lock.

Having finished their duties, the trusty leaves and the Captain follows; after turning off the [Pg 211] electric light. The iron door swings on its hinges and slams shut; the key grinds in the lock.

Standing up, with my hands and face close to the iron bars of the grated door, I can catch a glimpse of daylight at either end of the dungeon where the windows let in a small portion of the bright sunlight I left outside. I hear the Captain’s heavy footfalls retreating along the stone passage toward his office; then, muffled by the distance and the heavy iron door already closed, the outer door clangs faintly to, and is more faintly locked.

Standing up, with my hands and face pressed against the iron bars of the barred door, I can see a glimpse of daylight at both ends of the dungeon where the windows let in a small amount of the bright sunlight I left behind. I hear the Captain’s heavy footsteps walking away along the stone corridor toward his office; then, muffled by the distance and the heavy iron door that’s already shut, the outer door clangs faintly as it closes and is locked even more quietly.

Then a moment of deepest quiet. Only the incessant whirr, whirr, whirr, of the dynamo through the opposite wall; and that seems not so much like a noise as like a throbbing of the blood at my temples. The rest is silence.

Then a moment of complete silence. Only the constant whirr, whirr, whirr of the dynamo on the other side of the wall; and that sounds less like noise and more like the pounding of blood in my temples. Everything else is quiet.

The sound of a voice breaks the stillness.

The sound of a voice cuts through the silence.

“Number One! Hello, Number One!”

“Hey, Number One!”

As my cell is nearest the door, doubtless I am Number One.

As my cell is closest to the door, I must be Number One.

“Hello!” I rejoin.

“Hey!” I reply.

“Where do you come from?”

“Where are you from?”

“From the basket-shop.”

“From the basket store.”

“Say! Is that guy, Tom Osborne, workin’ there yet?”

“Hey! Is that guy, Tom Osborne, working there now?”

Gathering my wits together so as not to be taken unawares, I answer slowly, “Yes, he’s working yet.”

Gathering my thoughts to avoid being caught off guard, I reply slowly, “Yeah, he’s still working.”

[Pg 212]Then there comes a hearty, “Well, say! He’s all right, ain’t he? What’s he doin’ now?”

[Pg 212]Then someone enthusiastically said, “Hey, he’s great, right? What’s he up to now?”

I hesitate for an instant as to how to answer this, but determine that frankness is the best course.

I pause for a moment, trying to figure out how to respond, but I decide that being open and honest is the best approach.

“He’s talking to you.”

"He's talking to you."

“What!”

“What?!”

“He’s talking to you.”

“He's speaking to you.”

“Gee! You don’t mean to say that you’re the guy?”

“Wow! You’re not saying that you’re the guy, right?”

“Well, I’m Tom Brown; it’s pretty much the same thing, you know.”

“Well, I’m Tom Brown; it’s pretty much the same thing, you know.”

“Well, say, Tom! You’re a corker! I can’t believe it’s you!”

“Well, hey, Tom! You’re amazing! I can’t believe it’s really you!”

Here a gentle voice breaks in. “Yes, I guess it is all right. I thought I recognized his voice.”

Here a gentle voice interrupts. “Yeah, I think it’s fine. I thought I recognized his voice.”

“Yes, I’m the fellow you mean,” is my reassuring statement. I feel that things are opening well.

“Yes, I’m the person you’re talking about,” I say confidently. I have a good feeling about how things are going.

“Well, Tom! I’m Number Four, and that other fellow’s Number Two. But, say, what’re you in for?”

“Well, Tom! I’m Number Four, and that other guy’s Number Two. But hey, what are you here for?”

“I refused to work.”

"I declined to work."

“Gee! Did you? How did you do it?”

“Wow! Did you? How did you pull that off?”

So I tell the story again, of my complaint regarding our bad working material and the condition of my hands. Regarding the latter my statements, although somewhat exaggerated, are not so very far from the truth. As I mention my[Pg 213] hands it occurs to me that they feel very disagreeably sticky. They must continue in that condition, however, for some time, for I can’t wash them until I am out of this place.

So I’m telling the story again about my issue with the poor quality of our work materials and how my hands feel. About my hands, even though I might be exaggerating a bit, I’m not too far off from the truth. As I bring up my[Pg 213] hands, it hits me that they feel really sticky. Unfortunately, they’ll probably stay that way for a while because I can’t clean them until I leave this place.

My invisible audience listens apparently with interest to my story; and Number Four sums up his impressions with another enthusiastic, “Well, Tom, you’re all right!” which seems to be his highest form of encomium.

My invisible audience seems to listen with interest to my story, and Number Four sums up his thoughts with another enthusiastic, “Well, Tom, you’re all right!” which appears to be his highest form of praise.

Presently I take up some questioning on my own account.

Presently, I have some questions of my own.

“Hello, Number Four!” I begin.

“Hi, Number Four!” I start.

A voice from the dim and fading daylight of the vault outside answers, “Hello, Tom!”

A voice from the dim and fading light of the vault outside replies, “Hi, Tom!”

“How many fellows are there in here?”

“How many guys are in here?”

“Six of us, now you’ve come. That fellow who spoke a while ago is in Two, next to you. There’s a fellow in Three, but he’s got a bad cold so he can’t talk very well. Then there’s my partner in Five; and a big fellow in Eight, but he don’t say much. Quite a nice party, you see, Tom. Glad you’ve come to join us. Say! how long are you goin’ to be here?”

“Six of us, and now you’re here. That guy who spoke earlier is in Two, next to you. There’s someone in Three, but he has a bad cold, so he can’t speak very well. Then there’s my partner in Five, and a big guy in Eight, but he doesn’t say much. It’s quite a nice group, you see, Tom. I’m glad you’ve decided to join us. So, how long are you going to be here?”

“I don’t know. There was some talk of letting me out to-night if I would promise to behave myself.”

“I don’t know. They were saying I might be let out tonight if I promised to behave.”

Then the pleasant voice of Number Two breaks in again. “Well, if they don’t let you out to-night, you’re good till Monday, because they never let us out of here on Sunday.”

Then the pleasant voice of Number Two chimes in again. “Well, if they don’t let you out tonight, you’re stuck until Monday, because they never let us out of here on Sundays.”

[Pg 214]I shall not attempt to reproduce all the conversation of this memorable night. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon when I entered the dark cell. During the next three hours, as I sat on the floor close to the door of my iron cage, our talk covered a wide range of topics from grave to gay. We touched upon almost every subject, from prison fare and the ethics of the jail to the comparative merits of various trans-Atlantic liners. We discussed politics—New York City, state and national; Prison Reform, from various angles; the character and conduct of celebrities we had seen or known—both in and out of prison; and other things too numerous to mention. I must confess that, on the whole, more intelligent, instructive, and entertaining conversation it has seldom been my lot to enjoy. I soon came to the conclusion that under favorable conditions the jail was decidedly the most sociable place in prison.

[Pg 214]I won’t try to share every detail of the conversation from that unforgettable night. It was around four in the afternoon when I walked into the dim cell. For the next three hours, as I sat on the floor near the door of my iron cage, our discussion ranged widely from serious to lighthearted. We talked about nearly everything, from the food in prison and the ethics of incarceration to the pros and cons of different trans-Atlantic ships. We discussed politics—New York City, state, and national; prison reform from various perspectives; the behavior and reputation of famous people we had seen or known—both inside and outside of prison; and many other subjects too numerous to list. I have to admit that, overall, it’s rare for me to experience such intelligent, informative, and entertaining conversation. I soon realized that, under the right circumstances, jail could actually be the most social place in prison.

The brunt of the talk fell upon Number Four, Number Two and myself; with occasional remarks from Number Five. Number Three was not in condition to speak, as will be seen later, and he and Number Eight contributed only one remark apiece during the entire night. The leader of the party was Number Four, and I hate to think what we should have done without him.

The main conversation revolved around Number Four, Number Two, and me, with some occasional comments from Number Five. Number Three wasn't in a state to talk, as you'll see later, and both he and Number Eight only added one comment each throughout the whole night. The leader of the group was Number Four, and I shudder to think what we would have done without him.

So much for the lighter side of the matter. But all the time our conversation was going on, more[Pg 215] and more the influence of the place kept closing in upon me; more and more I found myself getting into a state of helpless anger against the Prison System, the men who have been responsible for its continuance, and the stupid indifference of society at large in permitting it. The handkerchief performance seemed a fair example of the unreasoning, futile, incredible imbecility of the whole theory and practice.

So much for the lighter side of things. But throughout our conversation, the atmosphere around me increasingly weighed down on me; I found myself feeling more and more helplessly angry about the prison system, the people who have allowed it to continue, and the ridiculous indifference of society as a whole for letting it happen. The handkerchief trick seemed like a perfect example of the unreasonable, pointless, and utterly absurd nature of the entire theory and practice.

The mention of the handkerchief reminds me of one of Number Four’s early remarks.

The mention of the handkerchief reminds me of something Number Four said early on.

“Hey, Tom, did you know a fellow committed suicide in your cell once?”

“Hey, Tom, did you know that someone once committed suicide in your cell?”

“No, did he?” I reply, feigning ignorance and yawning. “Well, I hope his ghost won’t come around to-night! There isn’t room for two in this cell.” At which frivolous remark they laugh. But in spite of my answer I do not feel in the least like laughing myself. The thought that I am locked into the very cell which was the scene of the tragedy of that poor human soul, whom a little decent treatment and kindly sympathy might perhaps have saved, only adds fuel to the flame of my wrath.

“No, did he?” I respond, pretending not to know and yawning. “Well, I hope his ghost doesn’t come around tonight! There isn’t space for two in this cell.” They laugh at my lighthearted comment. But despite my response, I don't feel like laughing at all. The idea that I'm stuck in the very cell where that poor soul's tragedy unfolded—someone who might have been saved with a bit of decent treatment and kindness—only fuels my anger.

Before proceeding it may be well to give a brief account of my fellow-sufferers, as I became acquainted with them through the night or learned about them afterward. And let me begin by saying that I had fully expected that now at last I[Pg 216] was to meet the worst that humanity has to show. While I had come to prison strongly inclined to disbelieve in the existence of a criminal class, as distinct from the rest of mankind, yet I had come with an open mind, ready to receive the facts as I found them, and duly readjust my previous opinions. I was entirely prepared to encounter many depraved and hardened men, but so far I had met none whom I thought hopelessly bad—quite the contrary. I had been put to work with the “toughest bunch of fellows in the prison”; and I had found myself side by side with Harley Stuhlmiller, and Jack Bell, and Blackie Laflam, and Patsy Mooney—the genial “baseball shark,” and the “dime-novel Kid,” who wanted to give me his grapes; to say nothing of that best of partners—Jack Murphy.

Before moving on, it’s worth giving a quick overview of my fellow inmates, as I got to know them throughout the night or learned about them later. I should start by saying that I expected to finally confront the worst that humanity has to offer. Although I entered prison with a strong skepticism about the existence of a criminal class separate from the rest of society, I came with an open mind, ready to absorb the realities I encountered and adjust my previous beliefs accordingly. I was fully prepared to meet many depraved and hardened individuals, but so far, I had not encountered anyone I deemed hopelessly bad—quite the opposite. I had been assigned to work with the “toughest group of guys in the prison,” and I found myself alongside Harley Stuhlmiller, Jack Bell, Blackie Laflam, and Patsy Mooney—the friendly “baseball shark,” and the “dime-novel Kid,” who even offered me his grapes; not to mention my excellent partner—Jack Murphy.

But surely in the jail, so I reasoned, I shall meet the “confirmed criminal.” In this prison are fourteen hundred convicts—men who, under the law, have been found guilty of robbery, arson, forgery, murder—all kinds of crime; men condemned to live apart from the rest of mankind, to be caged within walls. And now in the jail—in this place of punishment of last resort—here where the refuse of the System is gathered, I must certainly come in contact with the vilest and most hopeless. Men who will submit to no law, no control—men without faith in God or man—men who even in prison will still[Pg 217] pursue their violent and evil ways; now I shall get to know what such creatures are like.

But surely in jail, I thought, I would meet the “hardened criminal.” This prison holds fourteen hundred inmates—men who have been found guilty of robbery, arson, forgery, murder—all sorts of crimes; men sentenced to live separately from society, trapped behind walls. And now in this jail—in this ultimate place of punishment—where the dregs of the System are collected, I would definitely encounter the most despicable and hopeless. Men who won’t obey any laws, who resist any kind of control—men with no faith in God or humanity—men who even in prison will still[Pg 217] continue their violent and wicked ways; now I would learn what such individuals are truly like.

And this is what I find.

And this is what I discover.

Farthest away, at the other end of the row of iron cells, is Number Eight. He is a big, good-natured, husky chap from the enamel-shop; sent down to this place of supreme punishment because he had talked back to one of the citizen instructors. For what reason he is placed in Cell Eight, which has no wooden floor, so that its occupant has to lie on the bare iron plates covered with rivets, I am unable to state. Formerly none of these cells had wooden floors, and everyone slept on the rivets, rolling over and over through the night as each position in turn became unbearable.

Farthest away, at the other end of the row of iron cells, is Number Eight. He’s a big, easygoing guy from the enamel shop, sent to this harsh place because he talked back to one of the citizen instructors. I can’t say why he’s in Cell Eight, which doesn’t have a wooden floor, forcing him to lie on the bare iron plates covered with rivets. In the past, none of these cells had wooden floors, and everyone slept on the rivets, tossing and turning through the night as each position became unbearable.

Cells Seven and Six are empty.

Cells Seven and Six are vacant.

In Cell Four is my sociable friend, whose name I learn is Joe; and in Cell Five is the man he referred to as his partner, with whom Joe was having a friendly little scrap when they were interrupted and sent down here. The two fellows are, apparently, on perfectly good terms, but Number Five thought Joe had done something, which Joe hadn’t; so he punched Joe, and Joe punched him back. It was nothing more than a slight breach of discipline, for which a minimum punishment should have been inflicted—if anything more than a separation and a word of caution were necessary.

In Cell Four is my friendly buddy, who I find out is named Joe; and in Cell Five is the guy he called his partner, with whom Joe was having a light-hearted scuffle when they got interrupted and sent down here. The two guys seem to be on perfectly good terms, but Number Five thought Joe had done something wrong, which he hadn’t; so he hit Joe, and Joe hit him back. It was really just a minor rule violation, for which a simple punishment should have been handed out—if anything more than just separating them and giving a warning was needed.

[Pg 218]In Cell Three is the fellow with a bad cold. He is being punished for hitting another inmate over the head with a crowbar. This sounds rather serious, but the other fellow had called him an ugly name—a name which any man considers himself justified in resenting; and one effect of confinement being to make tempers highly inflammable, Number Three had resented the epithet with the nearest weapon handy.

[Pg 218]In Cell Three is the guy with a bad cold. He’s being punished for hitting another inmate over the head with a crowbar. That sounds pretty serious, but the other guy had called him an ugly name—one that anyone would feel justified in getting upset about; and one effect of being locked up is that tempers flare easily, so Number Three took offense and responded with the closest weapon he could find.

In such cases there is no proper examination made to see if there are extenuating circumstances; little or no opportunity is given the prisoner to state his side of the case; no belief when he is allowed to state it. The convict is reported by an officer. That is enough; down he comes immediately.

In these situations, there isn't a proper check to find out if there are any mitigating circumstances; the prisoner hardly gets a chance to share their side of the story; and there’s no trust when they finally get to do so. An officer reports the convict. That’s all it takes; they are brought down right away.

Called upon in the course of the night by Joe to give an account of himself, Number Three makes his one remark. “You fellows’ll hev to excuze be; I god such a cold id by ’ead I cad’t talk. Besides I shouted so las’ dight that I cudd’t talk butch eddy how!”

Called upon in the middle of the night by Joe to explain himself, Number Three makes his only comment. “You guys will have to excuse me; I’ve got such a cold in my head I can’t talk. Besides, I shouted so loud last night that I couldn't talk much at all!”

I find myself wondering how Number Three manages to do without a handkerchief—having so bad a cold in the head. Blows his nose on his shirt, I suppose. Quite pleasant and cleanly for the next fellow who is to wear the shirt, and for whom it will not be washed by order of the Warden. Again I am thankful for that particular special privilege.

I can’t help but wonder how Number Three gets by without a handkerchief, especially with such a bad cold. I guess he just blows his nose on his shirt. That’s really nice and considerate for the next guy who has to wear the shirt, which won’t be washed because of the Warden’s orders. Once again, I’m grateful for that special privilege.

[Pg 219]Now I come to Number Two, and, my feelings on this subject being rather strong, I shall not trust myself to do more than state coldly the plain facts. This boy, for he is only twenty-one years of age, on Tuesday of this week after being two weeks in the hospital, had an operation on his ear, being already deaf in that ear from an injury received before he came to prison. The operation was on Tuesday; on Thursday afternoon, two days later, he was discharged from the hospital as being able to work, although the wound in his ear had not yet healed. Being a slight, lightly-built youth, and just out of the hospital after an operation, he was put to work at—shoveling coal! But the next morning, Friday, before he had fairly started on his job, he was ordered to the jail office. There he found that a report had come down from the hospital to the effect that while there he had been somewhat troublesome and had talked with another patient.

[Pg 219]Now I come to Number Two, and since I feel pretty strongly about this topic, I’ll just lay out the plain facts. This boy, who is only twenty-one years old, had ear surgery on Tuesday after spending two weeks in the hospital. He was already deaf in that ear due to an injury he got before he came to prison. The surgery happened on Tuesday; by Thursday afternoon, just two days later, he was discharged from the hospital and cleared to work, even though the wound in his ear hadn’t fully healed. Being a slight, thin youth, and just out of the hospital after surgery, he was assigned to shovel coal! But the next morning, Friday, before he had even really started his job, he was called to the jail office. There, he discovered that a report had come from the hospital stating that he had been somewhat troublesome and had talked to another patient while he was there.

For this offense the sick lad was sent down here to the dark cell on bread and three gills of water a day. No handkerchief to wipe the running wound in his ear. No water to wash his ear or his face. Clad in filthy clothes. And when I arrived on Saturday afternoon he had been down here nearly thirty-six hours. And was due to stay at least thirty-six more, for “they never let us out of here on Sunday.”

For this offense, the sick kid was sent down here to the dark cell with only bread and three cups of water a day. No handkerchief to wipe the open wound in his ear. No water to clean his ear or his face. Dressed in filthy clothes. And when I got here on Saturday afternoon, he had already been down here for almost thirty-six hours. He was supposed to stay at least thirty-six more because “they never let us out of here on Sunday.”

[Pg 220]Nor is that all. This inhuman treatment—I hope I am not guilty of too much rhetoric in the use of the adjective—this punishment of being sent here to the dark cells, is only one, as I learn from my new friends, of five simultaneous punishments, all for the same offense.

[Pg 220]That's not all. This cruel treatment—I hope I'm not being too dramatic with that word—this punishment of being locked up in the dark cells, is just one, as I’m learning from my new friends, of five punishments happening at the same time, all for the same offense.

There is First: Your imprisonment in the jail, under such conditions as I am trying to describe.

There is First: Your imprisonment in the jail, under the conditions I’m trying to describe.

Second: Your hard-gained earnings are taken away by a fine which is charged against you on the prison books. As an instance, take my own case. My six days’ work in the basket-shop would have entitled me, as a convict, to receive from the state of New York the munificent sum of nine cents. But my fine for spending one night in the punishment cells was fifty cents. So at the end of my week’s work I owed the state of New York forty-one cents. If I had been a regular convict I should have had to work four weeks more before I could have got back even again. But, on the other hand, had I been a regular convict I should have been much more heavily fined, and my punishment would not have ended with a single night.

Second: Your hard-earned money gets taken away by a fine that's charged to you in the prison records. For example, let me share my experience. My six days of work in the basket shop would have allowed me, as a convict, to receive a whopping nine cents from the state of New York. However, my fine for spending one night in the punishment cells was fifty cents. So by the end of my week’s work, I actually owed the state of New York forty-one cents. If I had been a regular convict, I would have had to work four more weeks just to break even. But then again, if I had been a regular convict, I would have faced a much bigger fine, and my punishment wouldn’t have ended after just one night.

This is of course the highly humorous aspect of my particular case. To a prisoner who sometimes loses several years’ pay for the privilege of spending a few days in these cells, there is precious little humor about it. At the mere whim of a bad-tempered keeper he may lose the [Pg 221]acquisition of months of patient toil. And against the keeper there is no practicable appeal whatever, for the P. K. simply registers the action of the officers, on the theory that “discipline must be maintained.” Experience has taught the convict that there is no use in kicking—that would only be to get into deeper trouble; so he takes his medicine as the shortest and quickest way out. But we may be quite sure that the convict does not forget his grievance, and ultimately Society pays the penalty.

This is definitely the funny side of my situation. For a prisoner who sometimes loses years of hard-earned pay just to spend a few days in these cells, there’s not much humor in it. At the whim of a grumpy guard, he could lose the [Pg 221] results of months of effort. And there's really no way to challenge the guard's decision, because the P. K. just follows the officers' orders, believing that “discipline must be upheld.” Experience has shown the convict that complaining just leads to more trouble, so he accepts his punishment as the fastest way out. But you can be sure the convict doesn’t forget his grievance, and in the end, Society pays the price.

But let us go on with the other punishments involved in this jail sentence.

But let's move on to the other punishments included in this jail sentence.

Third: The disc upon your sleeve is bulls-eyed—that is, changed to a circle—or taken off altogether, as a mark of disgrace. And you never can regain your disc, no matter how perfect your future conduct. Your sleeve shows to every observer that you have been punished; that you are or have been a disturbing, if not dangerous, character. It is astonishing how much the prisoners get to care about this disc, and how deeply they feel the disgrace implied in the loss of it. But however strange it seems, there can be no doubt as to the fact.

Third: The disc on your sleeve is marked with a bullseye—that is, changed to a circle—or completely removed, as a sign of shame. And you can never get your disc back, no matter how well you behave in the future. Your sleeve shows everyone that you’ve been punished; that you are or were a troubling, if not dangerous, person. It’s surprising how much the prisoners care about this disc, and how deeply they feel the shame that comes with losing it. But no matter how odd it may seem, there’s no denying the reality of this.

Fourth: If you have been fortunate enough to earn by a year’s perfect record a good conduct bar upon your sleeve, that bar is taken away, or whatever credits you have gained toward a bar; and you have to begin your struggle all over[Pg 222] again. Here also, however odd it may seem to us, the prisoners treasure greatly these evidences of a good record, and resent their loss.

Fourth: If you've been lucky enough to earn a good conduct bar on your sleeve after a year of perfect behavior, that bar is taken away, along with any credits you've earned towards it; and you have to start your struggle all over again[Pg 222]. However strange it may seem to us, the prisoners greatly value these indicators of a good record and are unhappy about losing them.

Fifth: Some portion, if not all, of the commutation time which you may have gained by previous good conduct is also forfeited, so that you may have to serve out your full term.

Fifth: Some of the commutation time you may have earned through good behavior, if not all of it, is also lost, meaning you might have to serve your entire sentence.

Of course one can easily comprehend how this avalanche of punishments, all for the same offense, no matter how trivial, is admirably calculated to inspire in the prisoner respect for authority, loyalty to the state, and love for its officials. Its admirable reformatory influence must be apparent upon the slightest consideration.

Of course, it's easy to see how this flood of punishments, all for the same offense, no matter how minor, is perfectly designed to instill in the prisoner respect for authority, loyalty to the state, and love for its officials. Its impressive ability to reform must be clear with just a little thought.

Such were my companions of the dark cells, and such the nature of their offenses and punishments. These were the voices and personalities which came through the bars of my iron cage, reflected from the opposite wall.

Such were my companions in the dark cells, and such was the nature of their offenses and punishments. These were the voices and personalities that came through the bars of my iron cage, reflected from the opposite wall.

It is a very curious experience—getting suddenly upon an intimate footing with a number of people whom you cannot see, acquainted only with their voices. The vaulted room gives each sound with peculiar distinctness, but I cannot tell where any voice comes from; they all sound equally near—equally far off. It is the same strange effect I noticed in my regular cell in the north wing. And as I think of that cell it seems[Pg 223] by contrast rather homelike and pleasant, but very far away. I feel as if I had been in this place a large part of my natural life. At any rate I ought to be getting out before very long. And that reminds me——

It’s such a strange experience—suddenly feeling close to a bunch of people you can’t see, only hearing their voices. The arched room makes every sound really clear, but I can’t figure out where any voice is coming from; they all sound equally close—equally distant. It gives me the same odd feeling I had in my usual cell in the north wing. Thinking about that cell makes it seem[Pg 223] in comparison a bit more homey and pleasant, but really far away. I feel like I’ve spent a big part of my life here. Anyway, I should be getting out soon. And that reminds me——

“Hello, Number Four!” I call out. “Wasn’t there another fellow here, a chap named Lavinsky, who was brought down on Wednesday evening?”

“Hey, Number Four!” I shout. “Wasn’t there another guy here, a dude named Lavinsky, who was brought down on Wednesday night?”

“Sure there was,” answers the voice of Number Four. “They took him away about an hour before you came.”

“Yeah, there was,” replies Number Four. “They took him away about an hour before you got here.”

“What sort of a fellow was he?”

“What kind of guy was he?”

“Oh, he was a bug, all right. Threw his bread out of his cell and his water all over, and hollered a good deal. I guess they knew you was comin’, didn’t they? That’s the reason they took him out. And, say! What do you think they wanted to do with Abey and me?” he continues. “They took us over to the north wing and wanted to put us in a couple of those screen cells. But nix for us! We refused to go into ’em. Said that Superintendent Riley had ordered those cells stopped, and they wasn’t legal. Then Captain Martin sort of laughed and brought us over here. Seems as if they didn’t want you to make our acquaintance, don’t it?”

“Oh, he was definitely a weirdo. He threw his bread out of his cell and splashed water everywhere while shouting a lot. I guess they knew you were coming, right? That’s why they took him out. And, you know what? What do you think they wanted to do with Abey and me?” he keeps going. “They took us over to the north wing and tried to put us in a couple of those screen cells. But no way! We refused to go into them. We said that Superintendent Riley had ordered those cells to be closed, and they weren’t legal. Then Captain Martin kind of laughed and brought us over here. Seems like they didn’t want you to meet us, doesn’t it?”

And it certainly does seem that way.[15]

And it definitely looks that way.[15]

[Pg 224]On the whole, thanks to my agreeable companions, the time has passed so quickly that I am rather surprised when I hear the farther door unlocked and opened and steps coming along the passage. This must be Grant arriving to set me free. Now I must settle in my mind a question which has been troubling me for the last hour or so. Shall I go back to my cell or shall I spend the night down here?

[Pg 224]Overall, thanks to my pleasant companions, the time has flown by so quickly that I'm somewhat surprised when I hear the door at the end unlocking and opening, followed by footsteps in the hallway. This must be Grant coming to let me go. Now I need to figure out a question that's been bothering me for the past hour or so. Should I go back to my cell, or should I stay down here for the night?

On the one hand, is my rising anger and horror of the place, the evil influence of which I begin to feel both in body and in mind; on the other hand is the sense that I am nearer the heart of this Prison Problem than I have yet been; nearer, I believe, than any outsider has ever come. I am in the midst of an experience I can never have again, and it is what I came to prison to get. Moreover, if I go now, will there not arise a feeling among the men that at the last moment I failed to make good, that my courage gave out just at the end?

On one hand, I feel my anger rising and a deep horror of this place, the negative influence of which is affecting me both physically and mentally; on the other hand, I sense that I am closer to understanding the core of this Prison Problem than I have ever been before; closer, I believe, than any outsider has ever gotten. I am experiencing something I can never experience again, and it’s exactly what I came to prison to find. Furthermore, if I leave now, won’t the men feel that I ultimately failed to follow through, that my courage gave out just when it mattered most?

[Pg 225]The steps reach the inner door. Which shall it be?

[Pg 225]The steps lead to the inner door. Which one should it be?

The key grates in the lock, I hear the inner door swing open, the electric light is turned on. Amid complete silence from the other cells my door is unlocked; and there appears before my astonished eyes no less a person than the P. K. himself, attended by another officer.

The key turns in the lock, I hear the inner door swing open, and the electric light is turned on. In the complete silence from the other cells, my door is unlocked; and standing before my shocked eyes is none other than the P. K. himself, accompanied by another officer.

In an instant my mind is made up about one thing—I will not go with the P. K. anywhere. At the sight of his uniform a fierce anger suddenly blazes up within me and then I turn cold. All my gorge rises. Not at the man, for I certainly have no personal grievance against Captain Patterson, but at the official representative of this hideous, imbecile, soul-destroying System. I am seized by a mild fit of that lunatic obstinacy which I have once or twice seen glaring out of the eyes of men interviewed by the Warden down here; the obstinacy that has often in the course of history caused men to die of hunger and thirst in their cages of stone or iron, rather than gain freedom by submission to injustice or tyranny.

In an instant, I know one thing for sure—I will not go anywhere with the P. K. The moment I see his uniform, a fierce anger suddenly ignites inside me, and then I feel cold. My stomach churns. It’s not about the man; I don’t have any personal issues with Captain Patterson, but it’s about the official representative of this awful, stupid, soul-crushing System. I’m hit by a mild wave of that crazy stubbornness I’ve noticed a few times in the eyes of men interviewed by the Warden down here; the kind of stubbornness that has throughout history led people to starve and thirst in their stone or iron cages, rather than accept freedom through submission to injustice or tyranny.

It is all very well to talk of breaking a man’s spirit. It can be done; it has been done many times, I fear, in this and similar places of torture. But after you have thoroughly mastered his manhood by brutality—after you have violated the inner sanctuary of the divine spirit which abides in every man, however degraded—what[Pg 226] then? What has become of the man? The poor, crushed and broken wrecks of humanity, shattered by stupid and brutal methods of punishment, which lie stranded in this and other prisons, give the answer.

It sounds great to talk about breaking a person's spirit. It can be done; it's happened many times, unfortunately, in this and similar places of suffering. But after you've completely stripped away someone's manhood through cruelty—after you’ve invaded the inner sanctum of the divine spirit that exists in every person, no matter how low they’ve fallen—what[Pg 226] happens next? What’s left of the person? The unfortunate, crushed, and broken remnants of humanity, shattered by stupid and brutal methods of punishment, that lie abandoned in this and other prisons, provide the answer.

I fear that in consequence of my somewhat disordered feelings I am lacking in proper respect for lawful authority. Instead of rising to greet the P. K. I remain seated on the floor in my old soiled and ragged garments, looking up at him without making a motion to shift my position. He is evidently surprised at my attitude, or my lack of attitude. Bending forward into my cell he whispers, “It’s seven o’clock.”

I’m worried that because of my mixed-up emotions, I’m not showing enough respect for authority. Instead of standing up to greet the P. K., I stay sitting on the floor in my old, dirty, and torn clothes, looking up at him without even trying to get up. He seems surprised by my behavior, or lack of it. Leaning into my cell, he whispers, “It’s seven o’clock.”

“Yes; thank you, sir.” I am glad to find that I can still utter polite words, although I am seething within and remain doggedly obstinate in my seat on the floor. “But I think I will wait until Mr. Grant comes.”

"Yes; thanks, sir." I'm glad to see I can still say polite things, even though I'm boiling inside and stubbornly staying put on the floor. "But I think I'll wait until Mr. Grant arrives."

The P. K. seems surprised. With considerable difficulty he bends farther forward and whispers still more forcibly, “But it’s seven o’clock, and you were to be let out at seven—it was all arranged.”

The P. K. looks shocked. With a lot of effort, he leans in closer and whispers even more urgently, “But it’s seven o’clock, and you were supposed to be let out at seven—it was all planned.”

“Yes, P. K.,” I say, “and it’s very kind of you to take all this trouble, but I don’t quite know yet whether I want to go out. You see there are a lot of other fellows here, and——” I come to a stop, for I despair of being able to make the P. K.[Pg 227] understand. And when one comes to think of it, I don’t know of any reason why he should be expected to understand. I suppose it’s the first time in his experience that a man in his senses has ever deliberately refused to be released from this accursed hole.

“Yes, P. K.,” I say, “and it’s really nice of you to go through all this trouble, but I’m not sure yet if I want to go out. You see, there are a lot of other guys here, and——” I stop because I lose hope of making P. K.[Pg 227] understand. And when I think about it, I can’t think of any reason why he should be expected to understand. I guess it’s the first time in his experience that someone sane has actually chosen not to leave this miserable place.

“It was all arranged that you were to come out now,” insists the astonished P. K., getting more and more serious and perturbed. I shouldn’t wonder if he thinks I’ve gone bughouse.

“It was all arranged for you to come out now,” insists the surprised P. K., becoming more serious and worried. I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks I've lost my mind.

“Yes, but Mr. Grant was to come for me, and he——”

“Yes, but Mr. Grant was supposed to come for me, and he——”

“Well, Mr. Grant told me to come for you, and it’s all right,” urges the anxious official.

“Well, Mr. Grant asked me to get you, and it’s all good,” urges the anxious official.

I look up at him with what must be a tolerably obstinate expression of countenance. “I don’t want to leave at present,” I remark quietly, “and I shall stay here until Mr. Grant comes.”

I look up at him with what must be a pretty stubborn expression on my face. “I don’t want to leave right now,” I say quietly, “and I’m going to stay here until Mr. Grant arrives.”

The P. K. looks at me for a moment as if he would like to order his attendant officer to haul me out by the scruff of the neck. Then he shakes his head in a hopeless fashion, and without another word bangs to and locks the grated door. The light is extinguished, and we hear the inner door shut and locked; footsteps resound faintly along the stone corridor, and the outer door is shut and locked.

The P. K. looks at me for a moment as if he wants to tell his attendant officer to drag me out by the collar. Then he shakes his head in despair, and without saying anything else, he slams the grated door shut and locks it. The light goes out, and we hear the inner door close and lock; footsteps echo softly down the stone corridor, and the outer door is closed and locked.

“Hello, Tom!” This from Number Four.

“Hey, Tom!” This from Number Four.

“Hello!”

“Hi!”

[Pg 228]“Who was that? What did they want?”

[Pg 228]“Who was that? What did they need?”

“It was the P. K. He came to let me out.”

“It was the P. K. He came to let me out.”

“Come to let you out; and you didn’t go? Gee! I wish they’d try it on me. What did you tell ’em?”

“Come to let you out; and you didn’t go? Wow! I wish they’d do that to me. What did you say to them?”

“I told the P. K. that I would wait until Grant came. I told him I hadn’t had enough of the jail yet.” At this delirious joke there is laughter loud and long. Then Number Four says,

“I told the P.K. that I would wait until Grant got here. I said I hadn’t had enough of jail yet.” At this crazy joke, there is loud and long laughter. Then Number Four says,

“Ah, don’t go, Tom! We need you down here!”

“Ah, don’t leave, Tom! We need you here!”

“That’s so. Sure we do!” chimes in the voice of Number Two.

"That's right. Of course we do!" chimes in Number Two's voice.

And then there is a murmur of assent along the line.

And then there's a murmur of agreement along the line.

“Well, boys,” I say, “I’ll see about it. I shouldn’t have any supper now if I did go out, and I suppose this floor is as soft as any pine planks I’ve ever slept on. But if I am to stay, we must get better acquainted.”

“Well, guys,” I say, “I’ll look into it. I shouldn’t have any dinner now if I go out, and I guess this floor is as soft as any pine planks I’ve ever slept on. But if I’m staying, we need to get to know each other better.”

“Sure!” sings out Number Four. “Let’s all tell what we would like for supper. What do you say, boys, to a nice, juicy beefsteak with fried potatoes?”

“Sure!” calls out Number Four. “Let’s all share what we want for dinner. How about a nice, juicy steak with fried potatoes, boys?”

At this there is a general howl of jovial protest; loudest of all the poor lad in Cell Two, who has had nothing but bread and water for thirty-six hours, and who, to emphasize the fact of his coming from Boston, says something humorous about beans. The way these prisoners can joke[Pg 229] in the face of their sufferings and privations has been a continual wonder to me.

At this, everyone starts jokingly complaining, but the loudest is the poor guy in Cell Two, who has only had bread and water for thirty-six hours. To stress that he's from Boston, he cracks a joke about beans. I’ve always been amazed by how these prisoners can laugh despite their hardships and struggles.

It is not long before our talk turns in a new direction. The popularity of the prison officials is discussed. They all agree that the present Superintendent of Prisons is all right; that Warden Rattigan is square; and not only tends to his business but is on the level. Joe from Cell Four expresses his opinion that the treatment by the prisoners of the Warden when he first took office last summer was inexcusable. “That strike was a dirty deal,” he says. I am glad to hear about this, and Joe goes on to give me some interesting details. It was not due to the poor food, he declares, although that was the supposed cause. In reality, he assures me, the strike was instigated by some of the officers who had no use for Rattigan. They spread all manner of stories against him before he was appointed, and after he took office they deliberately egged on the convict ringleaders to strike and fairly pushed the men into it. This tallies with certain inside information I had at the time of the strike so I am not indisposed to believe it.

It doesn’t take long for our conversation to shift gears. We start talking about the popularity of the prison officials. Everyone agrees that the current Superintendent of Prisons is a decent guy; Warden Rattigan is trustworthy and not only handles his responsibilities but is also straightforward. Joe from Cell Four shares his thoughts on how the prisoners treated the Warden when he first took the job last summer, calling it inexcusable. “That strike was a dirty deal,” he says. I’m glad to hear this, and Joe continues to give me some interesting details. He insists that the poor food wasn’t the real issue, even though that was the official reason. Instead, he assures me that the strike was prompted by some officers who didn’t like Rattigan. They spread all kinds of negative stories about him before he was appointed, and once he took over, they deliberately encouraged the convict leaders to strike and actively pushed the men into it. This lines up with some insider information I had during the strike, so I’m inclined to believe it.

As we are still discussing these interesting matters, once more the faint sound of a key turning in a lock is heard and the opening of the outer door. This surely must be Grant. Steps come along the passage, and Joe makes a final appeal. “Say, don’t go, don’t go!” he whispers at the[Pg 230] last moment. “Stick it out, Tom! Stick it out!”

As we continue our discussion about these intriguing topics, we once again hear the faint sound of a key turning in a lock and the outer door opening. This has to be Grant. Footsteps approach down the hallway, and Joe makes one last plea. “Hey, don’t leave, don’t leave!” he whispers at the[Pg 230] last moment. “Hang in there, Tom! Hang in there!”

That settles it. I remain. Joe has won the day, or at least the night.

That’s it. I’m staying. Joe has come out on top today, or at least tonight.

The key turns in the inner lock and we hear the door turn on its hinges. Then the light is lighted, the grated door of my cell is again thrown open, and Grant stands there. This time I rise. “Come in here,” I say, “where we can’t be heard,” and taking him by the arm I lead him back into the darkness of the cell.

The key turns in the inner lock and we hear the door move on its hinges. Then the light comes on, the grated door of my cell is opened again, and Grant is standing there. This time I get up. “Come in here,” I say, “where we won’t be overheard,” and taking him by the arm, I guide him back into the darkness of the cell.

“What’s the matter?” asks Grant, with a trace of some anxiety in his tone.

“What’s wrong?” asks Grant, a hint of anxiety in his tone.

“Nothing’s the matter,” I answer. “Only I’m learning such a lot down here that I ought to stay the night. There are four or five fellows in the other cells and I can’t afford to miss the opportunity. Just explain to the P. K., will you? I’m afraid I was rather rude to him.”

“Everything's fine,” I say. “It’s just that I'm learning so much down here that I should stay overnight. There are four or five guys in the other cells, and I can’t let this chance slip away. Can you just let the P.K. know? I’m worried I might have been a bit rude to him.”

Grant explodes in mirth. “Well, you did jar him a little. He telephoned up to my house while I was at supper and said, ‘Please hurry down here, for I can’t get that fellow out!’”

Grant bursts out laughing. “Well, you did shake him up a bit. He called my house while I was having dinner and said, ‘Please hurry down here, because I can’t get that guy out!’”

I can not help laughing myself at the poor P. K.—panic-stricken because a man refused to come out of the jail. “Now let me stay the night here,” I say to Grant, “and send someone for me at six o’clock to-morrow morning. But for Heaven’s sake don’t make it any later than six,” I add.

I can't help but laugh at poor P. K.—so panicked because a guy wouldn’t come out of jail. “Let me stay here tonight,” I say to Grant, “and have someone come get me at six o’clock tomorrow morning. But for goodness' sake, don’t make it any later than six,” I add.

Grant is a little anxious, feeling his responsibility[Pg 231] to the Warden. “Are you sure you’d better do this?” he asks. “How do you feel? How are you standing it?”

Grant is a bit anxious, feeling his responsibility[Pg 231] to the Warden. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asks. “How do you feel? How are you holding up?”

“Oh, it’s the most interesting thing I have done yet,” I answer, “and my experience would have been a failure without it. Now, don’t worry. I shall last until six o’clock in the morning at any rate. But remember—not a minute later than six!”

“Oh, it’s the most interesting thing I’ve done so far,” I reply, “and my experience would have been a failure without it. Now, don’t worry. I’ll last until six a.m. at the very least. But remember—not a minute later than six!”

Grant promises to arrange it, and our whispered conference comes to an end. He and the other officer take their departure; again the inner door is shut and locked, the footsteps travel down the corridor, the outer door is shut and locked; and then silence, which is broken once more by the voice of Number Four, an anxious voice this time.

Grant promises to set it up, and our quiet discussion wraps up. He and the other officer leave; once again, the inner door is closed and locked, footsteps echo down the hallway, the outer door is closed and locked; and then there's silence, which is interrupted again by the voice of Number Four, sounding anxious this time.

“Has he gone?”

"Is he gone?"

Silence. Then Number Two’s gentle tones, “I think he went with the officer. I don’t hear anything in his cell. Yes, he must have gone.”

Silence. Then Number Two's soft voice, "I think he went with the officer. I don’t hear anything in his cell. Yeah, he must have gone."

A sigh comes from Joe, and I think it unfair to let the matter go any farther. Some remarks might be made which would prove embarrassing.

A sigh escapes from Joe, and I find it unfair to let things go any further. Some comments could be made that would be awkward.

“No, boys, I haven’t deserted you!”

“No, guys, I haven’t abandoned you!”

I shall not attempt to set down the words that follow.

I won't try to write down the words that come next.

Now I truly am a prisoner; I can not possibly get myself out of this iron cage, and there is no[Pg 232] one to let me out. There is no one except my fellow prisoners within hearing, no matter how loud I might cry for help. This at any rate is the real thing, whatever can be said of the rest of my bit. And now that all chance of escape is gone I begin to feel more than before the pressure of the horror of this place; the close confinement, the bad air, the terrible darkness, the bodily discomforts, the uncleanness, the lack of water. My throat is parched, but I dare not drink more than a sip at a time, for my one gill—what is left of it—must last until morning. And then there is the constant whirr-whirr-whirring of the dynamo next door, and the death chamber at our backs.

Now I really am a prisoner; I can't get myself out of this iron cage, and there's no[Pg 232] one to let me out. The only ones I can hear are my fellow prisoners, no matter how loudly I might cry for help. This is the reality of my situation, regardless of what else can be said about my circumstances. With any chance of escape gone, I begin to feel even more the weight of the horror of this place; the tight confinement, the stale air, the terrible darkness, the physical discomfort, the filth, the lack of water. My throat is dry, but I can't drink more than a sip at a time, because my one gill—what's left of it—has to last until morning. Plus, there's the constant whirr-whirr-whirring of the dynamo next door, and the death chamber right behind us.

For a while after the departure of Grant we are still talkative. There is a proposition to settle down for the night, but Joe scouts the notion. So the conversation is continued; and by way of reviving our drooping spirits Joe asks again, “Say, fellows! What would you say now to a nice, thick, juicy steak with fried potatoes?”

For a bit after Grant leaves, we keep chatting. There's a suggestion to settle down for the night, but Joe quickly dismisses it. So, the conversation goes on; and to lift our spirits, Joe asks again, “Hey, guys! How about a nice, thick, juicy steak with fries?”

As by this time we are all ravenously hungry and some of us well-nigh famished, what is said to Joe will not bear repetition.

As we are all extremely hungry now and some of us nearly starving, what is said to Joe is not something we want to repeat.

Then we have music. Joe sings an excellent rag-time ditty. Number Two follows with the Toreador’s song from “Carmen,” sung in a sweet, true, light tenor voice that shows real love and[Pg 233] appreciation of music. I too am pressed to sing, but out of consideration for my fellow prisoners decline, endeavoring in other ways to contribute my share to the sociability of the occasion. I can at any rate be an appreciative listener.

Then we have music. Joe sings a fantastic ragtime song. Number Two follows with the Toreador’s song from “Carmen,” performed in a sweet, genuine, light tenor voice that shows real love and[Pg 233] appreciation for music. I’m also urged to sing, but out of consideration for my fellow prisoners, I decline, trying in other ways to contribute to the social atmosphere of the event. At the very least, I can be an appreciative listener.

After a time, announcing my intention of going to sleep, I stretch out full length on the hard floor—and it certainly is hard. However, it will not be the first time I’ve spent a night on the bare boards; although I’ve never done so in a suicide’s cell, with the death chamber close at hand. I don’t wonder men go crazy in these cells; that dynamo, with its single insistent note, slowly but surely boring its way into one’s brain, is enough to send anyone out of his mind, even if there were no other cause.

After a while, I announce that I'm going to sleep, and I lie down flat on the hard floor—and it really is hard. But this isn't the first time I’ve spent a night on bare boards; it’s just that I’ve never done it in a suicide’s cell, with the death chamber so close by. It’s no surprise that people go crazy in these cells; that loud, constant noise from the dynamo, drilling its way into your mind, is enough to drive anyone insane, even without any other reasons.

This is the place where I had expected to meet the violent and dangerous criminals; but what do I find? A genial young Irishman, as pleasant company as I have ever encountered, and a sweet-voiced boy singing “Carmen.”

This is the place where I thought I would meet violent and dangerous criminals, but what do I find? A friendly young Irishman, as enjoyable to be around as anyone I’ve ever met, and a boy with a sweet voice singing “Carmen.”

Is this Prison System anything but organized lunacy? I fail to see where ordinary common sense or a single lesson of human experience has been utilized in its development.

Is this prison system anything but organized madness? I just don't see where ordinary common sense or any lesson from human experience has been used in its development.

“Are you asleep yet, Tom?” It is Joe’s voice again.

“Are you asleep yet, Tom?” It’s Joe’s voice again.

“No, not yet.”

“No, not yet.”

“Well, you know, we don’t do much of that[Pg 234] down here; but it’s a mighty sociable place.” Then, as if the idea of sociability had suggested it, “Any bedbugs yet?”

“Well, you know, we don’t really do much of that[Pg 234] around here; but it’s a pretty friendly place.” Then, as if the thought of friendliness had sparked it, “Any bedbugs yet?”

Horrors!

Oh no!

“Bedbugs!” I gasp, then laugh at the suggestion. “I don’t see any bed; how can there be any bedbugs?”

“Bedbugs!” I gasp, then laugh at the idea. “I don’t see any bed; how can there be any bedbugs?”

“Well, I guess you’ll have plenty visiting you before the night’s over,” says Joe.

"Well, I guess you’ll have a lot of visitors before the night is over," Joe says.

Number Two’s plaintive voice is heard again, “I’ve just killed two.”

Number Two's sad voice is heard again, "I've just killed two."

Good Lord! it only needed this!

Good Lord! That was all it took!

Immediately I begin to feel myself attacked by vermin from all directions. I know of no other instance where the power of suggestion can give so much discomfort. Once mention vermin, and all repose of mind is gone for me until I can reach a bathtub. Just at present, however, I should feel grateful if I could even wash my hands.

Immediately, I start to feel like I'm being swarmed by pests from every direction. I can't think of any other situation where the power of suggestion can create such discomfort. Once you bring up pests, all sense of peace disappears for me until I can get to a bathtub. Right now, though, I would even be thankful if I could just wash my hands.

Stretched on the floor at the back of the cell I try to find a comfortable position, but without success. I toss and turn on the hard boards, and finally give a groan of discouragement.

Stretched out on the floor at the back of the cell, I try to get comfortable, but it doesn't work. I toss and turn on the hard boards and eventually let out a groan of frustration.

“What’s the matter, Tom?” Number Four is alert as usual.

“What’s wrong, Tom?” Number Four is as alert as ever.

“Oh, nothing, only I can’t find a soft spot in this confounded place. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had a pillow.”

“Oh, nothing, it's just that I can't find a comfy spot in this annoying place. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had a pillow.”

“Guess you don’t know how to sleep on the[Pg 235] floor,” says Joe, and he proceeds to give useful instructions as to the best means of arriving at a minimum of discomfort. Following Joe’s advice, I remove my felt shoes, and with my shirt rolled up on top of them have a very fair pillow. My coat must be taken off and thrown over the body as a coverlet, for one gets more warmth and comfort in this way than when it is worn. As I make these changes I also shift my place in the cell, moving over toward the door; for just as Joe is giving me his suggestions, a suspicious crawling on my neck gives the chance to remove a large-sized bedbug which, in spite of the special cleaning the cell had undergone just before my arrival, has found its way in.

“Looks like you don't know how to sleep on the[Pg 235] floor,” Joe says, and he starts giving helpful tips on how to minimize discomfort. Taking Joe's advice, I take off my felt shoes, and with my shirt rolled up on top of them, I create a decent pillow. I need to take off my coat and drape it over myself as a blanket, since it provides more warmth and comfort this way than when I wear it. As I make these adjustments, I also move to another spot in the cell, shifting closer to the door; just as Joe is sharing his tips, I feel something crawling on my neck and realize I need to get rid of a large bedbug that, despite the thorough cleaning the cell had before I got here, managed to sneak in.

And now comes a weird episode of this strange night’s experience. What the hour is I can only guess; but, having heard the distant sounds of the nine o’clock train going west, and the nine-fifty going east, I think it must be in the neighborhood of half past ten. Lying on the hard floor I am feeling not sleepy, but very tired—drowsy from sheer mental exhaustion. I hear my name called again, asking if I am still awake, but I do not answer, for I hardly know whether I am or not.

And now comes a strange part of this weird night experience. I can only guess what time it is; but having heard the distant sounds of the nine o’clock train heading west and the nine-fifty going east, I think it must be around half past ten. Lying on the hard floor, I don’t feel sleepy, but I’m really tired—drowsy from complete mental exhaustion. I hear my name called again, asking if I’m still awake, but I don’t answer because I can barely tell if I am or not.

Suddenly a wail comes from the next cell, “Oh, my God! I’ve tipped over my water!”

Suddenly, a cry comes from the next cell, “Oh my God! I spilled my water!”

For an instant I feel as if I must make an[Pg 236] attempt to batter down the iron wall between us. I have been hoarding my own water; let me share it with that poor sick boy. But the next thought brings me to my senses. I am powerless. I can only listen to the poor fellow’s groans, while tears of rage and sympathy are wiped from my eyes on the sleeve of my soiled and ragged shirt.

For a moment, I feel like I should try to break down the barrier between us. I've been saving my own water; I should share it with that poor sick boy. But then I snap back to reality. I’m helpless. I can only listen to the guy's groans as I wipe away tears of anger and sympathy on the sleeve of my dirty, tattered shirt.

“How did it happen?” I hear Joe ask.

“How did it happen?” I hear Joe ask.

“Oh, I just turned over and stretched my legs out and kicked the can over. And now—I can’t get any water until to-morrow morning! Oh, what in Hell shall I do?”

“Oh, I just rolled over and stretched my legs out and kicked the can over. And now—I can’t get any water until tomorrow morning! Oh, what the heck am I going to do?”

The speaker’s voice dies away into inarticulate moaning. Quietly I reach over for my own precious can of water and place it securely in a corner—far removed from any probable activities of my feet. Then presently as I lie quietly, awake and listening, I become aware of a terrible thing. I hear Number Two talking to himself and then calling out to Joe, “When he comes in here to-morrow morning, I’ll just—I’ll—I’ll throw my bucket at his head!” and I realize that he is talking of an assault upon the keeper. Then he begins to mutter wild nothings to himself. Gradually there dawns upon me a hideous thought—the poor lad is going out of his mind.

The speaker’s voice fades into incoherent murmurs. I quietly reach for my precious water can and place it securely in a corner—far away from where my feet might accidentally knock it over. As I lie quietly, awake and listening, I become aware of something terrible. I hear Number Two talking to himself and then shouting to Joe, “When he comes in here tomorrow morning, I’ll just—I’ll—I’ll throw my bucket at his head!” I realize he’s planning to attack the keeper. Then he starts to mutter random nonsense to himself. Gradually, a horrifying thought occurs to me—the poor guy is losing his mind.

What shall I do? What can I do? What can anyone do? If we could only get some water to him! But the iron cage is solid on all sides. If we could only arouse the keeper! But there[Pg 237] is no possible way to make anyone hear. We could all scream our lungs out and no one would come. We might all go mad and die in our cells and no one would come.

What should I do? What can I do? What can anyone do? If only we could get some water to him! But the iron cage is solid all around. If only we could wake up the keeper! But there[Pg 237] is no way for anyone to hear us. We could all scream our hearts out and no one would show up. We could all go insane and die in our cells and no one would come.

But if I am helpless, not so Number Four. I soon hear Joe beginning to talk with the boy; and I perceive that Joe also has realized the situation, and with admirable patience and tact is applying the remedy. Never have I witnessed a finer act of Christian charity toward suffering humanity, never more skilful treatment of a sick and nervous fellow-creature. The first thing an intelligent doctor would advise in such a case is that the patient should confide in a sympathetic friend, air his grievance, get it out of his system, let the dangerous gases escape. A more sympathetic friend than Joe one could not find. Bit by bit he draws Number Two’s story from him and encourages him to vent his anger at the prison officials and their whole infernal system, and in fact at all things and persons related to his present situation.

But if I’m feeling helpless, Number Four isn’t. I quickly hear Joe starting to talk to the boy, and I realize that Joe understands the situation as well and is patiently and skillfully helping him. I've never seen such a genuine display of kindness towards someone in distress, nor such a skilled approach to treating a sick and anxious person. The first thing a smart doctor would recommend in this scenario is for the patient to talk to a caring friend, express his frustrations, and get it off his chest, letting those negative feelings out. You couldn’t ask for a more understanding friend than Joe. Little by little, he manages to get Number Two to share his story and encourages him to express his anger towards the prison officials and their entire messed-up system, as well as everyone and everything connected to his current situation.

Then having laid bare the wound Joe begins to apply antiseptic and soothing treatment. “Now you mustn’t worry too much about this thing,” is the advice of the sympathetic listener. “You’ve had a rotten deal, but listen to this.” And he relates some peculiarly atrocious case of punishment—true or otherwise. He gradually soothes the boy’s irritated temper, and then at the [Pg 238]appropriate moment says, “Now give us another song!”

Then, after exposing the wound, Joe starts applying antiseptic and a soothing treatment. “Now, don’t worry too much about this,” says the sympathetic listener. “You’ve been through a tough time, but hear this.” And he recounts some particularly awful punishment case—whether it’s true or not. He slowly calms the boy’s irritated mood, and then at the [Pg 238]right moment says, “Now, give us another song!”

Number Two, after some demur, complies; sings a tender, sentimental ballad, and evidently feels better.

Number Two, after a bit of hesitation, agrees; sings a sweet, emotional ballad, and clearly feels better.

Then Joe cracks a joke; chats with Number Two about a few topics of general interest; and then, yawning, expresses his own intention of going to sleep. There are a few scattered incidental remarks at ever longer intervals. Then as I listen carefully and hear nothing in the next cell, I conclude that Number Two is safely over the strain for the time; that with Joe’s help he has conquered his black mood and is back on the right road again.

Then Joe cracks a joke, talks with Number Two about a few interesting topics, and then, yawning, says he's thinking about going to sleep. There are a few random comments at increasingly longer intervals. Then, as I listen closely and hear nothing from the next cell, I realize that Number Two is safely past the strain for now; that with Joe's support, he has overcome his dark mood and is back on the right track again.

Good for you, Joe! Whatever your sins and failures of the past, whatever your failures and sins of the future, I do not believe that the Recording Angel will forget to jot down something to your credit for this night in Cell Four.

Good for you, Joe! No matter your sins and failures from the past or what may come in the future, I don’t think the Recording Angel will forget to note something positive for you for this night in Cell Four.

Quiet has settled upon us. There is heavy breathing in some of the cells, and I think that even Joe is contradicting his statement regarding sleep in the jail. But for a long time I can get no such relief. My ever increasing sympathy and anger are making me feverish. But at last, somewhere near midnight as near as I can judge, I do succeed in dropping off to sleep. It is a restless slumber at the best, for I am repeatedly[Pg 239] made aware of some bone or muscle with the existence of which I am not usually concerned. So I twist and turn, as every few moments I am hazily and painfully aroused into semi-consciousness.

Quiet has settled over us. There’s heavy breathing coming from some of the cells, and I think Joe is even going back on what he said about sleeping in jail. But I can't find relief for a long time. My growing sympathy and anger are making me restless. Finally, around midnight, as far as I can tell, I manage to fall asleep. It’s a fitful sleep at best, as I keep becoming aware of some bone or muscle that I usually don’t notice. So I toss and turn, getting hazily and painfully pulled into semi-consciousness every few moments.

But even this restless slumber is denied me. Before I have found relief in it for more than half an hour I am suddenly and roughly awakened. The door of the cell is rattled violently and a harsh voice calls out, “Here! Answer to your name! Brown!”

But even this restless sleep is taken from me. Before I can find any relief in it for more than half an hour, I’m suddenly and roughly awakened. The cell door is shaken violently and a harsh voice calls out, “Hey! Answer to your name! Brown!”

Recovering my dazed and scattered senses as well as I can, I reply, “Here, sir!” and have a mind to add, “Still alive,” but suppress the impulse as I wish to ask a favor.

Recovering my confused and scattered thoughts as best as I can, I respond, “Here, sir!” and I want to add, “Still alive,” but I hold back because I want to ask for a favor.

“Officer,” I say, as politely as possible, “that poor fellow in the next cell has tipped over his can of water. Can’t you let him have some more?”

“Officer,” I say as politely as I can, “the poor guy in the next cell has spilled his water. Could you please give him some more?”

The answer is far more courteous than I deserve for such an unheard-of and scandalous proposition. The keeper says shortly and gruffly, “’Fraid I can’t. ’Gainst the rules.” And he coolly proceeds to wake up the occupants of the other cells.

The response is way more polite than I deserve for such an unexpected and outrageous suggestion. The keeper replies bluntly, “Sorry, I can’t. It’s against the rules.” Then he calmly goes on to wake up the people in the other cells.

Setting my teeth firmly together, while the blood goes rushing to my temples, I feel for the moment as if I should smother. Perhaps it is as well that I am under lock and key, for I should like to commit murder. To think that any man[Pg 240] can grow so callous to human suffering as to forget the very first duty of humanity. Even soldiers on the battlefield will give a drink of water to a dying enemy. And here we have an organized System which in cold blood forbids the giving of a few drops to the parched lips of a sick lad, to save him from misery and madness! And if I am almost stifling with anger at the outrage, what must those men feel who are really suffering? What must those have felt who in the past have been kept here day after day, slowly dying of thirst or going mad on one gill of water in twenty-four hours?

Grinding my teeth together, with blood rushing to my temples, I feel like I might explode. Maybe it’s a good thing I’m locked up, because I seriously want to hurt someone. It’s unbelievable that any man[Pg 240] can be so indifferent to human suffering that he forgets the most basic duty of humanity. Even soldiers on the battlefield will share a drink of water with a dying enemy. Yet, here we have a System that coldly prevents offering a few drops to the dry lips of a sick kid, just to save him from pain and madness! If I’m nearly choking with anger over this injustice, what must the people who are actually suffering feel? What must those have felt who were kept here day after day, slowly dying of thirst or losing their minds on just one gill of water in twenty-four hours?

Is it imagination that the very air here seems to be tainted with unseen but malign and potent influences, bred of the cruelty and suffering—the hatred and madness which these cells have harbored? If ever there were a spot haunted by spirits of evil, this must surely be the place. I have been shown through dungeons that seemed to reek with the misery and wretchedness with which some lawless medieval tyrant had filled them; but here is a dungeon where the tyrant is an unreasoning, unreachable System, based upon the law and tolerated by good, respectable, religious men and women. Even more then than the dungeons of Naples is this “the negation of God”; for its foundation is not the brutal whim of a degenerate despot, but the ignorance and indifference of a free and civilized people. Or[Pg 241] rather, this is worse than a negation of God, it is a betrayal of God.

Is it just my imagination, or does the air here feel tainted by unseen but harmful and powerful forces, born from the cruelty and suffering—the hatred and madness that these cells have contained? If there's ever been a place haunted by evil spirits, it must be this one. I've visited dungeons that seemed to overflow with the misery and despair imposed by some violent medieval ruler, but here, the dungeon is governed by an unfeeling, unreachable System, built on the law and accepted by decent, respectable, religious people. More than the dungeons of Naples, this is “the negation of God,” because its foundation isn't the cruel whim of a depraved tyrant, but the ignorance and indifference of a free and civilized society. Or rather, this is worse than a negation of God; it is a betrayal of God.

After duly waking my companions the keeper amuses himself by fussing with the steam pipes. The vault was already disagreeably close and hot; but he chooses to make it still hotter, and none of us dares to remonstrate. Then he turns out the light and goes his way, and he certainly carries with him my own hearty maledictions, if not those of my fellow prisoners.

After waking up my companions, the keeper occupies himself by fiddling with the steam pipes. The vault was already uncomfortably warm and stuffy, but he decides to make it even hotter, and none of us dares to complain. Then he turns off the light and leaves, and he definitely takes with him my own genuine curses, if not those from my fellow prisoners.

It is hopeless to think of going to sleep again at once, although my head is thick and my eyes heavy with fatigue. So again I sit close to the grated door and open up communication with Joe. As usual, he is entirely willing to give his attention, and enters readily into conversation.

It’s pointless to think about trying to fall asleep again right away, even though my head feels foggy and my eyes are heavy with tiredness. So, I sit again by the grated door and start talking to Joe. As usual, he’s totally willing to listen and quickly joins in the conversation.

“Hey, Tom! Do you want to know my name? It’s Joseph Matto. Funny name for an Irishman, ain’t it? Well, you know, it ain’t my real name. My real name’s McNulty. But you see it was this way. When my case came up in court, down in New York, they called out, ‘Joseph Matto’; and the cop said, ‘Here, you, get up there!’ I said, ‘That ain’t my name’; and he said, ‘Never you mind, get up!’ So you see I got some other fellow’s name, but I thought I might as well keep it, and so I have ever since.

“Hey, Tom! Do you want to know my name? It’s Joseph Matto. Funny name for an Irishman, right? Well, actually, it’s not my real name. My real name’s McNulty. Here’s the thing: when my case came up in court in New York, they called out, ‘Joseph Matto,’ and the cop said, ‘Hey you, get up there!’ I said, ‘That’s not my name,’ and he replied, ‘Don’t worry about it, just get up!’ So, I ended up with someone else’s name, but I thought I might as well keep it, and I have ever since.

“But it’s all right, because I don’t want to [Pg 242]disgrace my folks. They don’t know where I am, and I wouldn’t have my mother know for anything. You see, I’m the black sheep of the family, the rest are all right. I’m the only one that ain’t goin’ straight. But when I get out of here I mean to go straight. Say, Tom, do you think I can get a job, here in Auburn? My bit is up in December, and I should like to stay here and get straight before I go back home.”

“But it’s all good, because I don’t want to [Pg 242]shame my family. They don’t know where I am, and I wouldn’t want my mom to find out for anything. You see, I’m the black sheep of the family; the rest are all fine. I’m the only one who isn’t on the right path. But when I get out of here, I plan to turn my life around. Hey, Tom, do you think I can find a job here in Auburn? My time is up in December, and I’d like to stay here and get my life together before I head back home.”

“When you get out,” is my answer, “it will be up to me to stand treat for a dinner of beefsteak and fried potatoes, at any rate. And I’ll do the best I can to help you get a job, Joe, if you really do mean to go straight. But in that neither I nor any one else can help you; you know you’ll have to do that yourself.”

“Once you’re out,” I reply, “I’ll take you out for a steak and fries, for sure. I’ll do my best to help you find a job, Joe, if you’re serious about starting fresh. But in that, neither I nor anyone else can help you; you know you’re going to have to take care of that on your own.”

Poor Number Four! I have not the slightest doubt he means what he says, but here again—this cursed System. It is particularly deadening to a young fellow like Joe. He evidently has just that lively, good-natured, shiftless, irresponsible temperament which needs to be carefully trained in the bearing of responsibility.

Poor Number Four! I have no doubt he means what he says, but once again—this awful System. It really stifles a young guy like Joe. He obviously has that lively, good-natured, carefree, irresponsible personality that needs some serious guidance in taking on responsibility.

While Joe and I are conversing, Number Eight makes his one remark. “Would there be a job for a bricklayer around here?”

While Joe and I are chatting, Number Eight chimes in with a single comment. “Is there a job for a bricklayer around here?”

I don’t know, and tell him so; but add, as in Joe’s case, that if he means to go straight I will gladly do what I can for him; and in any event I consider that I owe each of them a good dinner.[Pg 243] Thus it is agreed that they will all dine with me in turn upon the happy occasions of their release.

I’m not sure, and I tell him that; but I also add, like in Joe’s situation, that if he intends to turn his life around, I’ll be happy to help him as much as I can; and no matter what, I feel like I owe each of them a nice dinner.[Pg 243] So we've agreed that they'll all take turns having dinner with me to celebrate their release.

“By the way, Tom, did you go up to that Bertillon room?” Joe is off on a new tack.

“By the way, Tom, did you check out that Bertillon room?” Joe is shifting to a new topic.

“Oh, yes. I did all the regular stunts.”

“Oh, yeah. I did all the usual stunts.”

“Were you measured and photographed, and all that?”

“Did they measure you and take your picture, and all that?”

“Yes, and my finger prints taken. I went through the whole thing.”

“Yes, and I got my fingerprints taken. I went through the whole process.”

“Gee! Well, then, they’ll have your picture in the rogues’ gallery, won’t they, along with the rest of us?”

“Wow! So, they’ll put your picture in the rogues’ gallery, right alongside the rest of us?”

“I suppose they will,” is my answer, and then I tell how my scars and marks were all discovered and duly set down in the record; and wind up with a variation of the same mild joke which so bored the clerk of the Bertillon room. “And do you know, boys, after he had got me all sized up and written down, I felt as if it would never be safe for me to adopt burglary as a profession; and I’ve always rather looked forward to that.”

“I guess they will,” is my response, and then I explain how they found all my scars and marks and officially recorded them; I finish with a twist on the same mild joke that so annoyed the clerk in the Bertillon room. “And you know, guys, after he measured me and wrote everything down, I felt like it would never be safe for me to take up burglary as a career; and I’ve always kind of looked forward to that.”

My companions are not bored but appreciative, they laugh with some heartiness. Then after a pause Joe says quite seriously, “Well say, Tom! I can just tell you one thing, you needn’t ever have any fear that your house will be entered!”

My friends aren't bored; they're enjoying themselves, laughing genuinely. After a moment, Joe says earnestly, "Well, let me tell you, Tom! You never have to worry about anyone breaking into your house!"

“Oh! Do you think the crooks will all recognize me as one of themselves?”

“Oh! Do you think the criminals will all see me as one of their own?”

“Sure!” is Joe’s hearty rejoinder. He evidently[Pg 244] considers it a compliment, and I accept it as such. At any rate I have apparently hit upon rather a novel form of burglary insurance.

“Sure!” is Joe’s enthusiastic reply. He clearly[Pg 244] sees it as a compliment, and I take it that way too. Either way, I seem to have stumbled upon a pretty unique way of doing burglary insurance.

It must be somewhere between half past one and two o’clock that sheer exhaustion sends me off to sleep again. This time my slumber is more successful than before. It is only occasionally that the discomfort of the hard floor forces me back into consciousness, and forces me also to such changes of position as seem necessary to prevent my bones coming through. Many of them seem to be getting painfully near the surface.

It must be somewhere between 1:30 and 2:00 that pure exhaustion sends me back to sleep. This time, my sleep is deeper than before. I only occasionally wake up because the hard floor is uncomfortable, which also makes me shift positions to stop my bones from pressing too close to the surface. It feels like many of them are painfully close to breaking through.

It was Number Five, I think, who informed me that it is the custom down here for the keeper to visit us every four hours—at half past twelve and half past four. The first visit I have described. After that, for nearly three hours, I get such sleep as the hard floor affords. About half past four I am having an interval of semi-consciousness—enough to realize dimly how utterly worn out I still feel both in body and mind, and how both crave more rest. So I am struggling very hard not to awake, when the light of the keeper’s electric bull’s-eye flashes through the iron grating straight into my eyes.

It was Number Five, I think, who told me that around here, it's the norm for the keeper to check on us every four hours—at 12:30 and 4:30. I've already described the first visit. After that, for almost three hours, I get whatever sleep I can on the hard floor. Around 4:30, I'm in a state of semi-consciousness—just enough to vaguely realize how completely exhausted I still feel, both physically and mentally, and how much I need more rest. So I’m really fighting to stay asleep when the keeper's electric bull’s-eye light flashes through the iron grating right into my eyes.

With curses too violent and sincere for utterance I report myself still in existence.

With curses too fierce and real to say out loud, I report that I’m still alive.

Now I am so constituted that at the best of times a sudden awakening always annoys me[Pg 245] greatly. Just now it quite upsets my equilibrium. A torrent of rage and hate surges up through my whole being; it fairly frightens me by its violence. For a moment I feel as if I were being strangled. Then I make up my mind that I must and will get to sleep again, in spite of the keeper and his infernal light; and I make desperate attempts to do so, for I realize that I am expected to speak in chapel before many hours, and have a trying day before me. I am bound, therefore, to have myself in no worse condition than I can possibly help.

Now I’m the kind of person who gets really annoyed by a sudden wake-up, even at the best of times[Pg 245]. Right now, it completely throws me off balance. A wave of anger and hatred floods through me; it actually scares me with its intensity. For a moment, I feel like I can’t breathe. Then I decide that I must and will get back to sleep, despite the watchman and his annoying light; so I make desperate attempts to do that, knowing I have to speak in chapel in just a few hours and face a tough day ahead. So, I have to make sure I’m in the best condition possible.

But of course it is impossible to get to sleep again, I can only follow my whirling thoughts. How in the world am I ever to speak to those men in chapel? What in Heaven’s name can I say? How can I trust myself to say anything? How can I urge good conduct, when my whole soul cries out in revolt? How can I preach resignation and patience against this dark background of horror?

But of course, it's impossible to fall back asleep; I can only follow my racing thoughts. How on earth am I ever going to talk to those guys in chapel? What can I possibly say? How can I trust myself to say anything? How can I encourage good behavior when my entire being is screaming in protest? How can I preach acceptance and patience against this grim backdrop of horror?

An aching, overwhelming sense of the hideous cruelty of the whole barbaric, brutal business sweeps over me; the feeling of moral, physical and mental outrage; the monumental imbecility of it all; the horrible darkness; the cruel iron walls at our backs; the nerve-racking monotone of the whirring dynamo through the other wall; the filth; the vermin; the bad air; the insufficient food; the denial of water; and the overpowering,[Pg 246] sickening sense of accumulated misery—of madness and suicide, haunting the place. How can I speak of these things? How can I not speak of them? How can I——

An intense, overwhelming feeling of the terrible cruelty of the entire barbaric, brutal situation washes over me; the sense of moral, physical, and mental outrage; the sheer foolishness of it all; the awful darkness; the harsh iron walls at our backs; the nerve-wracking hum of the whirring dynamo through the next wall; the filth; the pests; the bad air; the insufficient food; the lack of water; and the suffocating, sickening sense of accumulated misery—of madness and despair, haunting the place. How can I talk about these things? How can I not talk about them? How can I——

Hark!

Listen!

Click! Click! Click! Click! I hear the levers being pressed down by the officer, and the stirring of life along the galleries.

Click! Click! Click! Click! I can hear the officer pressing the levers, and the hustle and bustle of activity in the hallways.

Click! Click! Click! Click! I had no idea it was possible to hear the sounds from the south wing, ’way in here. And it is still so early in the morning—only half past four.

Click! Click! Click! Click! I had no idea you could hear the sounds from the south wing all the way in here. And it’s still so early in the morning—just half past four.

Click! Click! Click! It must be the prisoners who work in the kitchens, they are the only ones who would be moving at such an hour. But again, how is it possible to hear them so far away, shut in as we are by stone walls and iron doors?

Click! Click! Click! It must be the prisoners working in the kitchens; they’re the only ones up and about at this hour. But how can we hear them from so far away, locked in here by stone walls and iron doors?

Uneasily I shift my position and turn over on my left side, which feels temporarily less bruised and painful than the other. The clicking stops. But other vague sounds succeed; and then suddenly——

Uneasily, I shift my position and roll over onto my left side, which feels temporarily less bruised and painful than the other. The clicking stops. But other vague sounds take over; and then suddenly——

Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! It is the march of the gray companies down the stone walk of the yard.

Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! It's the march of the gray companies down the stone path in the yard.

Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! It is certainly not only the kitchen gang, for there must be many companies of them.

Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! It's definitely more than just the kitchen crew, because there must be several groups of them.

Tramp! Tramp——

March! March——

[Pg 247]But this is ridiculous, at half past four in the morning! It can’t be true, it must be my imagination. I am not really hearing these sounds, for my reason tells me they are impossible.

[Pg 247]But this is crazy, at four-thirty in the morning! It can’t be real, it must be my imagination. I can’t really be hearing these sounds, because my logic tells me they’re impossible.

Nevertheless I do hear them. Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! Tramp!

Nevertheless, I can hear them. Tramp! Tramp! Tramp! Tramp!

I try in vain to reason myself out of the evidences of my senses. I am hearing sounds that I am sure do not exist.

I’m trying unsuccessfully to convince myself that what I’m sensing isn’t real. I’m hearing sounds that I know can’t be there.

Tramp! Tramp! Tramp——

Marching! Marching! Marching——

Heavens! Am I going mad?

Oh no! Am I going crazy?

This is past bearing. I abandon the attempt to sleep and sit up. As I do so the cell is suddenly filled with flying sparks which dance from one end to the other. Aghast, I steady myself with my back against the side of the cell.

This is too much to handle. I give up on trying to sleep and sit up. As I do this, the cell is suddenly filled with flying sparks that dance from one end to the other. Shocked, I steady myself by pressing my back against the side of the cell.

This is getting serious. I grit my teeth together, and, shutting my eyes in the hope of keeping out the sight of the flitting sparks, I say firmly to myself, “This must not be. Don’t lose your nerve. Cool down. Control yourself. Slow up. Keep steady.”

This is getting serious. I clench my teeth, and, closing my eyes to block out the flickering sparks, I tell myself firmly, “This can’t happen. Don’t freak out. Calm down. Get a grip. Slow down. Stay steady.”

As I rise to my feet my head seems to clear, the sparks disappear, the sound of marching footsteps had already ceased. There is nothing to see or hear—only the dreadful blackness and the dead silence of the night. I take two turns about the cell, carefully refraining from kicking over the bucket in the corner, and then stand close to the grating, in the hope of a breath of cool, fresh[Pg 248] air. But there is no such thing in this fœtid place.

As I stand up, my mind begins to clear, the sparks fade away, and the sound of marching footsteps has already stopped. There's nothing to see or hear—just the terrifying darkness and the absolute silence of the night. I walk around the cell a couple of times, being careful not to knock over the bucket in the corner, and then I stand near the grating, hoping for a breath of cool, fresh[Pg 248] air. But there's no such thing in this disgusting place.

“Joe! Are you awake?”

"Joe! You awake?"

“Hello! What’s the matter?”

“Hey! What’s wrong?”

“For God’s sake talk to me!”

“For God’s sake, talk to me!”

“Sure! What shall we talk about?”

“Sure! What do you want to talk about?”

“Anything. I don’t care. Only something.”

“Anything. I don’t care. Just something.”

So Joe begins to chat with me, and presently Number Two joins in, and Number Five has a few words to say. What we talk about I have not the faintest recollection; it is the only part of this night’s occurrences that makes no impression whatever on my memory. I only know that I am longing for speedy escape as I have seldom longed for anything; that I am saying constantly to myself, “It can’t be more than an hour more! They must surely come in about forty minutes! Half an hour! Half an hour! It can’t go beyond that! Oh, why don’t they come?”

So Joe starts chatting with me, and soon Number Two joins in, followed by Number Five, who has a few things to say. I can’t remember what we talked about at all; it's the only part of the night I can’t recall. All I know is that I desperately want to get out of there, more than I've wanted anything in a long time. I keep telling myself, “It can’t be more than an hour more! They have to arrive in about forty minutes! Half an hour! Half an hour! It can’t be longer than that! Oh, why aren’t they here yet?”

I answer any remarks directed to me quite at random, for I am waiting, waiting, waiting, and listening.

I respond to any comments made to me randomly because I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting, and listening.

An hour and a half does not seem such an endless period of time usually. Well, it all depends. When you are in a dark prison cell, waiting for deliverance, it seems a lifetime. I lived through every hour in the minute of that interminable period of five thousand four hundred seconds.

An hour and a half doesn’t usually feel like such a long time. Well, it all depends. When you’re in a dark prison cell, waiting to be rescued, it feels like a lifetime. I experienced each hour in every single minute of that endless period of five thousand four hundred seconds.

[Pg 249]At last I hear a sound—one of the most welcome sounds I ever heard—the six o’clock train blowing off steam over at the New York Central station. I find myself wondering why I am not ready to shout with joy, and I discover it is because I feel as if all power of emotion had been crushed out of me. It is not merely utter and hopeless fatigue; it is as if something had broken inside of me; as if I could never be joyous again; as if I must be haunted forever by a sense of shame and guilt for my own share of responsibility for this iniquitous place. My sensation, when at last I hear the sound of the key in the lock of the outer door, is not one of exultation, only of approaching relief from deadly pain—pain which has become almost insupportable.

[Pg 249]Finally, I hear a sound—one of the most comforting sounds I've ever heard—the six o’clock train letting off steam at the New York Central station. I find myself questioning why I'm not ready to shout with joy, and I realize it's because I feel like all my emotions have been drained from me. It's not just complete and hopeless exhaustion; it's as if something has shattered inside me; as if I could never feel happiness again; as if I will always be haunted by a sense of shame and guilt for my part in this terrible place. When I finally hear the key turning in the lock of the outer door, my feeling isn't one of joy, but rather a sense of relief approaching from the intense pain—pain that has become almost unbearable.

Once more we hear the outer door open and steps coming along the passage. I rise from my seat on the floor, and put on my shirt and shoes as I whisper, “Good bye, boys. I wish I could take you with me.” Then the inner door is opened, the light is lighted, and my cell door swings out.

Once again, we hear the outer door open and footsteps coming down the hallway. I get up from my spot on the floor and put on my shirt and shoes as I whisper, “Goodbye, guys. I wish I could take you with me.” Then the inner door opens, the light turns on, and my cell door swings open.

Some one stands there—I do not know who—I do not care. Listlessly, like one in a dream, I pick up my cap and coat; and silently, wearily, move out and toward the bench where I changed my clothes last night. Last night!—a thousand years ago. The officer—the keeper—the man, whoever he is, who has come to release me, produces[Pg 250] my regular prison uniform; and listlessly, silently, wearily, I make the change, dropping my jail garments upon the floor. I feel as if I should like to grind my heels into the loathsome, hated things.

Someone stands there—I don’t know who—I don’t care. Listlessly, like I'm in a dream, I pick up my cap and coat; and silently, wearily, I move toward the bench where I changed my clothes last night. Last night!—a thousand years ago. The officer—the keeper—the man, whoever he is, who has come to release me, hands me[Pg 250] my regular prison uniform; and listlessly, silently, wearily, I change, dropping my jail clothes on the floor. I feel like I want to grind my heels into those loathsome, hated things.

With a parting look along the row of cells which imprison my comrades, and choking down my feelings as I think of the sick lad we are leaving without water, I stumble along the passage to the jail office, pausing only while my attendant locks behind us the two iron doors. Another moment and I feel my lungs expand with a deep refreshing breath, and find myself out in the ghostly quiet of the prison yard.

With a final glance at the row of cells holding my friends captive, and pushing down my emotions as I think of the sick kid we're leaving behind without water, I make my way down the hallway to the jail office, stopping only while my guard locks the two heavy doors behind us. In an instant, I take a deep, refreshing breath and find myself in the eerily silent prison yard.

The morning air is fresh and cool, and there is a soft gray light which seems to touch soothingly the old gray stones of the prison; but I have a feeling as if nothing were alive, as if I were a gray, uneasy ghost visiting a city of the dead. The only thing suggestive of life seems to be the sound of my heavy shoes upon the stone pavement.

The morning air is fresh and cool, and there’s a soft gray light that gently touches the old gray stones of the prison; but I feel like nothing is alive, like I’m a gray, restless ghost wandering through a city of the dead. The only hint of life is the sound of my heavy shoes on the stone pavement.

I have a remote impression that my attendant is saying something. Perhaps I answer him. I think I do, but I am not sure. If so, it is only from the force of habit, not from any conscious mental process.

I have a faint sense that my assistant is saying something. Maybe I respond to him. I think I do, but I'm not certain. If I do, it’s only out of habit, not from any deliberate thought.

We traverse the upper part of the yard and enter the main building. Here my shoes make[Pg 251] such a clatter on the stone floor that my guide looks at them inquiringly. I do not know whether he recommends their removal or whether I do it of my own accord; I am only aware that I have taken them off and am carrying them in my left hand as we mount the iron stairs and creep quietly along the familiar gallery of the second tier.

We walk through the upper part of the yard and enter the main building. My shoes make[Pg 251] such a loud noise on the stone floor that my guide looks at them curiously. I’m not sure if he suggests I take them off or if I do it on my own; I just know that I’ve taken them off and am holding them in my left hand as we go up the metal stairs and quietly move along the familiar corridor of the second floor.

At Number 15 we stop, the key is turned in the lock, the lever clicks, the door opens, and I enter my cell. I think the man says something; I do not know. I stand motionless just within the door, as it swings to and is locked. The footsteps of my guide retreat along the gallery, down the stairs, and so out of hearing.

At Number 15, we stop, the key turns in the lock, the lever clicks, the door opens, and I walk into my cell. I think the guy says something; I'm not sure. I stand still just inside the door as it swings shut and locks. The sound of my guide's footsteps fades away along the corridor, down the stairs, and out of earshot.

There is no sound in the cell house. All is silent, as the gray light of morning steals through the barred windows into the corridor and through the grated door into my cell.

There’s no sound in the cell house. Everything is quiet as the gray morning light creeps through the barred windows into the corridor and through the grated door into my cell.

What next?

What's next?

I do not know.

I don't know.

Suddenly there wells up within me a feeling which is no longer rage, it is a great resistless wave of sympathy for those poor fellows in that Hell I have just left; for those who have ever been there; for those in danger of going there; for all the inmates of this great city within the walls—this great community ruled by [Pg 252]hate—where wickedness is the expected thing—where love is forbidden and cast out.

Suddenly, I feel a wave of sympathy for those poor souls in the Hell I just left; for those who have ever been there; for those at risk of going there; for everyone trapped in this massive city behind these walls—this huge community governed by [Pg 252]hate—where wrongdoing is the norm—where love is banned and rejected.

Obeying an impulse I could not control if I would, I throw myself on my knees, with my arms on the chair and my face in my hands, and pray to Our Father who art in Heaven.

Obeying an impulse I couldn’t resist, I drop to my knees, with my arms on the chair and my face in my hands, and pray to Our Father who is in Heaven.

My prayer is for wisdom, for courage, for strength. Wisdom to determine my duty, courage to endeavor, and strength to persevere.

My prayer is for wisdom, courage, and strength. Wisdom to know my responsibilities, courage to take action, and strength to keep going.

May I be an instrument in Thy hands, O God, to help others to see the light, as Thou hast led me to see the light. And may no impatience, prejudice, or pride of opinion on my part hinder the service Thou hast given me to do.

May I be an instrument in Your hands, God, to help others see the light, just as You have led me to see the light. And may no impatience, prejudice, or pride in my opinions stop me from fulfilling the service You have given me to do.

 

 


CHAPTER XIV

SUNDAY—THE END

 

After the emotional crisis I have just passed through, I find myself quite unstrung. For nearly half an hour I can do nothing but sit, limp and exhausted, in the chair and give way to my feelings. On the whole, this is a relief, although it leaves me very weak and wretched. At length, the realization that I must soon take my place in line for the duties of the early morning pulls me together; and after pouring cool water from the meager supply in my pail over my head and face, rearranging my clothes, and draining to the bottom my tin drinking cup, I am somewhat refreshed. Looking out from my cell across the corridor and through the barred windows of the outer wall, I find the promise of a bright, sunny day; but it gives me no pleasure. I feel utterly dull and depressed. Only a few hours more and I shall be gone forever from this narrow cell—back to my own comfortable home; but the thought arouses no enthusiasm. It does not seem to matter much in[Pg 254] the sum of things whether I go or stay. Nothing seems to matter much except the physical sufferings of those poor fellows down in the jail; and at the thought a bitter anger sweeps over me again.

After the emotional crisis I've just gone through, I feel completely drained. For nearly half an hour, all I can do is sit, weak and exhausted, in the chair and let my feelings take over. Overall, it's a relief, even though it leaves me feeling very fragile and miserable. Eventually, I realize that I need to prepare for my morning duties, which helps me pull myself together. After pouring cool water from the limited supply in my pail over my head and face, straightening my clothes, and finishing the last of my tin drinking cup, I feel a bit better. Looking out from my cell across the corridor and through the barred windows of the outer wall, I see the promise of a bright, sunny day, but it brings me no joy. I feel completely dull and depressed. In just a few hours, I'll be leaving this cramped cell for good—heading back to my own comfortable home—but that thought doesn’t excite me. It hardly seems to matter in[Pg 254] the grand scheme of things whether I stay or go. Nothing seems to matter much except the physical suffering of those poor guys down in the jail, and just thinking about it fills me with bitter anger once more.

After a few moments, however, I once more regain control of myself, and wait patiently at the door of the cell for the day’s routine to begin.

After a few moments, though, I regain control of myself again and wait patiently at the cell door for the day's routine to start.

Before long I hear in the corridor below the clicking of levers and the tread of marching feet. A shiver goes through me as I think of the last time I heard such sounds. But those were imaginary, these are real. Soon, bucket in hand, I am once more traversing the long gallery and falling in line with the rest of my company at the yard door. The prisoners whose faces I can see are eyeing me curiously, and in a vague way I am wondering whether I bear any outward marks of the jail. I feel as if I must have somewhere upon me an unmistakable stamp of it, which may be a disfigurement for the rest of my life.

Before long, I hear the sound of levers clicking and the rhythmic footsteps marching down the corridor below. A chill runs through me as I remember the last time I heard those sounds. But back then, it was just in my head; now it’s the real thing. Soon, with a bucket in hand, I’m walking again through the long gallery and falling in line with the rest of my group at the yard door. The prisoners whose faces I can see are looking at me curiously, and I’m vaguely wondering if I have any visible signs of being in jail. I feel like there must be some undeniable mark on me, something that could be a permanent scar for the rest of my life.

Sharply the Captain gives the signal and we set off on our march down the yard. I know it is sunny, for I can see the shadows of the trees upon the ground, but all things look unfamiliar and unreal. I go through the usual motions, but I am not thinking of what I am doing, or of anything else, for that matter. Everything seems cold, lifeless, dead. Yet I am conscious of making an effort to do my duty cheerfully. I[Pg 255] have a curious feeling of being two people at once. One going through the regular routine, and the other watching him as he does it.

Suddenly, the Captain gives the signal and we start our march down the yard. I can tell it’s sunny because I see the shadows of the trees on the ground, but everything feels strange and surreal. I go through the usual motions, but I’m not really thinking about what I’m doing or anything else, for that matter. Everything feels cold, lifeless, and dead. Still, I’m aware of trying to do my duty with a smile. I[Pg 255] have this weird feeling of being two people at the same time. One is going through the regular routine, and the other is just watching him do it.

One of my selves seems to be at a distance looking at the other self as he marches down the yard, empties his bucket at the sewage disposal building, and then, without pausing at the stands, marches up the yard again. There was a gleam of satisfaction in my passive self at the thought that my active self was going to leave the bucket behind, and that I should never see it again. But that mild pleasure is denied me. Of course on Sunday the buckets are needed in the cells, as the men are locked up after chapel services for the rest of the day. I had not thought of that.

One part of me feels like I'm watching from a distance as another part of me walks down the yard, dumps his bucket at the sewage disposal building, and then, without stopping at the stands, walks back up the yard. There was a brief sense of satisfaction in my passive self at the idea that my active self would leave the bucket behind, and I wouldn't have to see it again. But that small pleasure was taken away from me. Of course, on Sunday, the buckets are needed in the cells since the men are locked up after chapel services for the rest of the day. I hadn’t thought about that.

On our way back I seem to be saying to myself, “You poor fellow! If you were not so dead tired, you’d march better.” And then I feel rather indignant at myself for the criticism.

On our way back, I find myself thinking, “You poor guy! If you weren’t so exhausted, you’d walk better.” Then I feel a bit frustrated with myself for being so critical.

Arrived back in my cell, it seems to occur vaguely to one of my two selves—I do not know which—that there is something I have to do to-day. Breakfast of course. But after that—Oh, yes—the chapel. I am expected to speak. I shake my head and shut my eyes, feeling ill at the thought. To speak! I feel upon my lips the ghost of a smile at the bare notion. How absurd for any one to think I could do such a thing!

Arriving back in my cell, it vaguely occurs to one of my two selves—I can’t tell which—that there’s something I have to do today. Breakfast, of course. But after that—oh, right—the chapel. I’m supposed to speak. I shake my head and shut my eyes, feeling sick at the thought. To speak! A ghost of a smile touches my lips at the mere idea. How ridiculous for anyone to think I could do something like that!

Nevertheless something must be done. I ought[Pg 256] to send word to the Chaplain that I can’t speak. How can I send it? I cannot think. Somehow the idea of blue floats across my mind. Oh, yes! Roger Landry and his blue shirt. I’ll ask Landry to get word to the Chaplain.

Nevertheless, something needs to be done. I should[Pg 256] let the Chaplain know that I can’t talk. How can I get the message across? I can’t seem to think. Somehow, the thought of blue comes to mind. Oh, right! Roger Landry and his blue shirt. I’ll ask Landry to pass the message to the Chaplain.

Click! Click! Click! Again the levers start. Still in a sort of a daze I open my door, fall in line behind Jack Bell, join Landry farther along the gallery, descend the iron stairs and march to the mess-hall. Here the regular weekday arrangements are changed. For some reason, instead of turning to the right as usual, we go to the left and occupy seats in quite a different part of the hall—on the left of the center aisle and much farther back. The change makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable.

Click! Click! Click! The levers start again. Still a bit dazed, I open my door, fall in line behind Jack Bell, join Landry further down the hallway, go down the metal stairs, and head to the mess hall. Here, the usual weekday setup is different. For some reason, instead of going right as we normally do, we turn left and take seats in a completely different part of the hall—on the left side of the center aisle and much further back. This change puts me on edge.

I don’t know what there is for breakfast. I believe that I have eaten something or other, although I am sure I have not sampled the bootleg. I wish I could share my breakfast—such as it is—with those poor fellows in the jail. I wonder if Number Two has any water yet. But I mustn’t think of that.

I don’t know what we’re having for breakfast. I think I’ve eaten something, but I’m sure I haven’t tried the bootleg stuff. I wish I could share my breakfast—whatever it is—with those poor guys in jail. I wonder if Number Two has any water yet. But I shouldn’t think about that.

Returned from breakfast, Landry comes to my cell to express his interest and sympathy; for he once had his own dose of the jail. I wonder if his spirit was broken. I forget to ask him to do my errand to the Chaplain. I fear it is too late now. Perhaps I can find some way to do it after[Pg 257] I reach the assembly room; perhaps I can, when called upon, explain briefly that I am unable to speak; or perhaps after all it would be better to bluff it out the best way I can, and let it go at that.

Returned from breakfast, Landry comes to my cell to show his interest and sympathy because he’s been in jail too. I wonder if his spirit was broken. I forget to ask him to run my errand to the Chaplain. I’m worried it’s too late now. Maybe I can find a way to do it after[Pg 257] I get to the assembly room; perhaps I can briefly explain when called upon that I can’t speak; or maybe it would just be better to play it off the best way I can and leave it at that.

After this decision I feel somewhat better. Turning to the locker, I find a piece of paper with the few notes I scrawled yesterday noon. I had expected to revise and arrange them this morning. I may as well try to fix the thing up somehow. But I can do nothing but stare helplessly at the paper; my brain refuses to work. My stupidity finally annoys me so much that I shove the piece of paper into my pocket, and make up my mind not to bother any more about the matter.

After making this decision, I feel a bit better. Looking at the locker, I see a piece of paper with the notes I jotted down yesterday at noon. I had planned to revise and organize them this morning. I might as well try to sort it out somehow. But I can only stare blankly at the paper; my mind just won’t cooperate. My frustration with myself eventually gets to me, so I crumple the paper and shove it into my pocket, deciding not to worry about it any further.

One or two of the trusties, passing along the gallery, stop to chat. They all seem to look at me as one might at a person who has been restored to life from the dead. I’m sure I feel so. I have always wondered how Dante must have felt after he had visited the Inferno. I think I know now.

One or two of the trusted people, walking by the balcony, stop to talk. They all seem to look at me like someone who has come back to life from the dead. I’m sure I feel that way. I've always wondered how Dante must have felt after he visited the Inferno. I think I understand now.

There are footsteps along the corridors and galleries; it is the noise made by good Catholics returning from Mass. It seems that I could have gone myself had I known of the service. I am sorry I did not; perhaps it would have helped me to forget.

There are footsteps in the hallways and galleries; it's the sound of good Catholics coming back from Mass. I feel like I could have gone too if I had known about the service. I regret not going; maybe it would have helped me to forget.

[Pg 258]Soon the summons to chapel comes, and in single file we march upstairs and into the large assembly room, which is on the second story, immediately above the mess-hall. Here our company has seats on the right of the main aisle about two-thirds of the way to the platform. Row after row of men take their seats, until the large room is entirely filled with silent, motionless, gray figures. I do not see those sitting behind, I only hear them, for like the rest I stare straight in front of me.

[Pg 258]Before long, the call to chapel arrives, and we line up and head upstairs into the spacious assembly room located on the second floor, right above the mess hall. Our group takes seats on the right side of the main aisle, about two-thirds of the way to the stage. Row after row of men fill the seats, until the large room is completely packed with silent, still, gray figures. I can't see those sitting behind me; I can only hear them, as like everyone else, I fix my gaze straight ahead.

Then I hear the sound of hand-clapping; and when I can see without turning my head, I join in the applause that greets the Chaplain and an organist and quartet of singers from one of the Auburn churches. As some of them are my personal friends, I can not help wishing that they had not chosen this particular Sunday to sing here.

Then I hear the sound of applause; and when I glance over without turning my head, I join in the clapping that welcomes the Chaplain and an organist along with a quartet of singers from one of the Auburn churches. Since some of them are my personal friends, I can’t help but wish they hadn’t picked this particular Sunday to perform here.

In vain I try to fasten my attention upon the service, I can only follow my own thoughts. It is but one short week since I occupied a seat upon that same platform, and that short week has altered the whole tenor of my life. It can never be the same again that it has been. Whether I wish it or not, a bond of union has been forged between these men and me which can never be broken. I have actually lived their life, even if for only a short period of time; I have been made one of the gray brotherhood—for they have [Pg 259]received me as a brother; and I have realized their sufferings because in a very small degree I have shared them.

I try hard to focus on the service, but I can only think about my own thoughts. It’s only been a short week since I sat on that same platform, and that week has completely changed my life. It will never be the same as it was. Whether I like it or not, a bond has formed between these men and me that can never be undone. I have actually lived their life, even if just for a little while; I have become part of the gray brotherhood—because they have [Pg 259]accepted me as one of their own; and I understand their suffering because, to a very small extent, I have shared in it.

But at the present moment what am I to do? When I am called up to the platform, as I soon shall be, what shall I say to these men? I must not speak of the jail; but how can I help speaking of it? It is the one thing that just now dominates my mind.

But right now, what am I supposed to do? When I’m called up to the stage, which will be soon, what am I going to say to these guys? I can’t talk about the jail, but how can I not mention it? It's the only thing that's on my mind at the moment.

The singing is beautiful and restful. I could enjoy it were it not for this terrible feeling of oppression at my head and heart. Finally the critical moment arrives. The Chaplain advances to the front of the stage.

The singing is beautiful and soothing. I could enjoy it if it weren't for this awful feeling of heaviness in my head and heart. Finally, the crucial moment arrives. The Chaplain steps to the front of the stage.

“At this point in the service,” he says, “we are to have something of a departure from the usual order of exercises. Last Sunday you listened to an address which the Honorable Thomas Mott Osborne came here to give you. To-day we are going to invite someone from your midst to speak.”

“At this point in the service,” he says, “we’re going to change things up a bit from the usual format. Last Sunday, you heard a talk given by the Honorable Thomas Mott Osborne. Today, we’re inviting someone from your own community to speak.”

The Chaplain pauses, then clears his throat and says, “We have with us here to-day a man who calls himself Thomas Brown.”

The Chaplain pauses, then clears his throat and says, “We have with us today a man who goes by the name Thomas Brown.”

With a startling suddenness that seems to threaten the roof comes a terrific explosion of hand-clapping, sounding, as a visitor afterwards described it, like a million of fire crackers. I feel my backbone tingling from end to end. At the same time I have an almost irresistible desire to[Pg 260] get away somewhere and hide myself from all those eyes.

With a suddenness that feels like it might bring the roof down, there's an incredible eruption of applause, which a visitor later said sounded like a million firecrackers. My whole spine is buzzing. At the same time, I have this nearly overpowering urge to [Pg 260] find a place to escape and hide from all those eyes.

The Chaplain continues:

The Chaplain continues:

“His number is 33,333x.”

“His number is 33,333x.”

For some reason or other this excites the sense of humor which lies so near the surface here, and loud laughter interrupts the speaker.

For some reason, this sparks the humor that's right on the surface here, and loud laughter interrupts the speaker.

“I will ask Thomas Brown to come to the platform.”

“I'll ask Thomas Brown to come to the platform.”

With my hands on the back of the bench in front, I pull myself up onto my feet; and when the men see me rise their frantic hand-clapping begins again. As I leave my seat and gain the central aisle, the whole room seems to rock back and forth. I walk to the front and mount the platform. As I do so, the Chaplain, the singers and others sitting there rise and join in the applause. I am absurdly, but momentarily, conscious of my prison clothes—the rough cotton shirt, gray trousers and heavy shoes, as I bow to the people on the stage and then face the audience.

With my hands on the back of the bench in front of me, I pull myself up to my feet; and when the men see me stand, their frantic hand-clapping starts again. As I leave my seat and head down the central aisle, the whole room seems to sway back and forth. I walk to the front and step up onto the platform. As I do this, the Chaplain, the singers, and others sitting there stand and join in the applause. I feel oddly, but briefly, aware of my prison clothes—the rough cotton shirt, gray trousers, and heavy shoes, as I bow to the people on stage and then face the audience.

The applause subsides and every face turns towards me expectantly. Oh, for the gift of the tongues of men and of angels! What an opportunity lies here before me! And I feel helpless to take advantage of it.

The applause fades and every face looks at me with anticipation. Oh, for the ability to speak like people and angels! What an amazing opportunity is right in front of me! And I feel powerless to seize it.

As I stand for a moment looking over the large audience, feeling unable to make a start, my attention is arrested by the face of one of my gray[Pg 261] brothers. He is an old man, I do not know him, I am not conscious of ever having seen him before, but the tears are rolling down his cheeks as he sits looking up at me.

As I stand for a moment gazing out at the large crowd, feeling like I can’t get started, I notice the face of one of my older brothers. He’s an elderly man I don’t know and don’t recall ever having seen before, but tears are streaming down his cheeks as he sits and looks up at me.

Then as if a cloud were lifted from my spirit, I suddenly understand what it all means. These men are not seeing me, they are looking at Tom Brown—the embodied spirit of the world’s sympathy. They have felt the sternness of society—the rigor of its law, the iron hand of its discipline. But now at this moment many of these men are realizing for the first time that outside the walls are those who care.

Then, as if a cloud had lifted from my spirit, I suddenly understood what it all meant. These men aren't seeing me; they are looking at Tom Brown—the living embodiment of the world’s empathy. They have experienced the harshness of society—the strictness of its laws, the iron grip of its discipline. But now, at this moment, many of these men are realizing for the first time that outside these walls are people who care.

I said to these men last Sunday that I should try to “break down the barriers between my soul and the souls of my brothers.” It was necessary so to endeavor in order to understand the conditions I came to study. But what has happened is that these men have broken down their own barriers; they have opened their hearts; they have dignified and ennobled my errand; they have transformed my personal quest for knowledge into a vital message from the great heart of humanity in the outside world—a heart that, in spite of all that is said and done to the contrary, beats in sympathy with all genuine sorrow, with all honest endeavor for righteousness.

I told these guys last Sunday that I needed to work on “breaking down the barriers between my soul and my brothers’ souls.” I had to do this to really understand the conditions I came here to study. But what actually happened is that these men broke down their own barriers; they opened their hearts; they elevated and honored my mission; they turned my personal search for knowledge into an important message from the great heart of humanity out there—a heart that, despite everything that’s said and done against it, beats in sympathy with all real sorrow, with every sincere effort for what's right.

Thrilling with this revelation of the true meaning of my own mission, lifted out of apathy and discouragement, I make my speech; but, alas, the[Pg 262] words come haltingly and reflect but little of the warmth and exhilaration in my heart.

Thrilled by this revelation of the true meaning of my mission, pulled out of apathy and discouragement, I give my speech; but, unfortunately, the[Pg 262] words come out awkwardly and hardly show the warmth and excitement I feel inside.

When the Chaplain spoke to me about saying a few words to you this morning—words of farewell, because here for a time at least we must separate—I did not realize that it was going to be so hard. Probably I am the only man, in all the years since this prison was built, to leave these walls with regret.

When the Chaplain asked me to say a few words to you this morning—words of farewell, because we have to part ways for a while—I didn't understand how difficult it would be. I guess I'm the only person, in all the years since this prison was built, to leave these walls with a sense of regret.

It is not necessary to give every word of my utterly inadequate address. I was in no physical or mental condition to speak; my audience was almost too moved to hear. From a mere reading of the words that fell from my lips no one would understand the situation. But the prisoners understood; they listened with emotions which few can appreciate to my words of greeting and farewell and my prophecy of the new day soon to dawn for them.

It’s not necessary to share every word of my completely inadequate speech. I was in no physical or mental state to talk; my audience was almost too emotional to listen. Just reading the words I spoke wouldn’t convey the whole situation. But the prisoners understood; they listened with feelings that few can truly grasp to my words of greeting and farewell, and my prediction of the new day that will soon come for them.

First I spoke of the value of my experience to the Commission on Prison Reform as well as to me personally, for I knew that they had seen the doubts expressed in many of the newspapers as to the usefulness of my “experiment.” I thanked the officers for their coöperation, and the prisoners for the way they had received me.

First, I talked about how valuable my experience was to the Commission on Prison Reform and to me personally, since I was aware that they had noticed the skepticism voiced in several newspapers about the effectiveness of my “experiment.” I thanked the officers for their cooperation and the prisoners for how welcoming they had been to me.

I must confess that I was unprepared for the way in which you men have carried out your part of the bargain. I consider that the restraint, courtesy, and loyalty[Pg 263] to me and to my experiment have been very wonderful, and never shall I forget it. There has not been a word or look from beginning to end that I would have had otherwise. You have received me exactly as I asked you to—as one of yourselves.

I have to admit that I wasn't ready for how you guys have fulfilled your end of the deal. I find the restraint, politeness, and loyalty[Pg 263] you've shown to me and my experiment very impressive, and I will always remember it. There hasn’t been a single word or glance from start to finish that I would want to change. You welcomed me exactly how I requested—as one of your own.

I believed that a wide popular interest had been aroused, which could not help working for good.

I thought that there was a strong public interest that could only lead to positive outcomes.

In fact, with the aid of our friends the newspapers, we have had considerable advertising this last week, you and I. The personal part of this advertising I do not like—it would be pleasant if I could know that I should never again see my name in the newspapers—but doubtless it all works out for good in the long run. Certainly in this case I believe that more people have been thinking about the Prison System in New York State within the last week than any week since Auburn Prison was built; and while much of that interest will of course evaporate, for we need not expect the millennium yet awhile, nevertheless the ground has been tilled for the work that is to come.

Actually, thanks to our friends the newspapers, you and I have received quite a bit of publicity this past week. I’m not a fan of the personal aspect of this publicity—I’d be happy if I never had to see my name in the papers again—but I guess it all works out in the end. I truly believe that more people have been thinking about the Prison System in New York State these last few days than at any point since Auburn Prison was built; and while a lot of that interest will fade away, since we shouldn’t expect a perfect world just yet, the groundwork has definitely been laid for the work ahead.

Then I dwelt upon the tasks which lay before us to do—before them and before me. It was my task to go out in the world and help in the fight against human servitude in the prisons, but they had a much harder task.

Then I thought about the tasks ahead of us—both for them and for me. My job was to go out into the world and assist in the fight against human servitude in prisons, but they had a much tougher task.

Your part is the most important of all. It is just to do your plain duty here, day by day, in the same routine;[Pg 264] but accepting each new thing as it comes along and striving to make of that new thing a success. Men, it is you alone who must do it. Nobody else can.

Your role is the most important of all. It's simply to do your basic duty here, day after day, following the same routine;[Pg 264] but embracing each new challenge as it arises and working to turn that challenge into a success. Guys, it's up to you to make it happen. No one else can.

So then give to the Warden and to all the officers your hearty support; aid in the endeavor to make this institution all that it should be, all that it can be.

So, give your full support to the Warden and all the officers; help in the effort to make this institution everything it should be and everything it can be.

An old poet, Sir Richard Lovelace, once wrote:

An old poet, Sir Richard Lovelace, once wrote:

“Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars a cage.”

“Stone walls don't make a prison,
And iron bars don't create a prison.

Last night perhaps I should not have altogether agreed with Sir Richard; but of course what he meant was that, in spite of all the bolts and bars which men can forge, the spirit is always free; that you cannot imprison. In spite of your own confinement here you possess after all the only true liberty that there is to be found anywhere—the freedom of the spirit; the liberty to make yourselves new men, advancing day by day toward the strength and the courage and the faith which when you go out from these walls will enable you to lead such a life that you will never come back.

Last night, maybe I shouldn't have completely agreed with Sir Richard; but what he really meant was that, no matter how many locks and barriers people create, the spirit always remains free; it can't be trapped. Despite your own confinement here, you still have the only genuine freedom there is—the freedom of the spirit; the ability to reinvent yourselves, growing stronger, braver, and more faithful every day. When you finally leave these walls, you'll be able to live in such a way that you won’t ever want to come back.

In explaining why I could not go into particulars regarding any conclusions I may have reached as to the Prison System, I realized that I was on delicate ground. I was sorely tempted to relate some of my last night’s experiences in the jail, but I felt that were I to do so there was no telling what the result might be. The men were strangely moved by the whole situation, and I had the feeling that the room contained a great deal of [Pg 265]explosive material that a chance spark might ignite. So I bit my lips, and forced myself away from the dangerous topic.

In explaining why I couldn't share details about any conclusions I might have reached regarding the Prison System, I realized I was treading on thin ice. I was really tempted to talk about some of my experiences from last night in the jail, but I felt that doing so could lead to unpredictable outcomes. The men were unusually affected by the whole situation, and I sensed that the room was filled with a lot of [Pg 265]volatile energy that just needed a spark to ignite. So I bit my lip and pulled myself away from that risky topic.

The time has not yet come for a statement of any particular conclusions or ideas. My experience is so new—particularly some of it—that I can hardly be expected just now to see things in their right relations. If I were to let myself go and state exactly what I do think at the present moment, I might say some things I should regret later. So it is better to wait and allow the experience to settle in my mind; and as I get farther away from it, things will assume their right proportions.

The time isn’t right for me to share any specific conclusions or ideas. My experience is still fresh—especially some aspects of it—so it’s hard for me to see everything clearly right now. If I were to express exactly what I'm thinking at the moment, I might say things I would regret later. So, it’s better to hold off and let the experience settle in my mind; as I distance myself from it, I’ll see things in their true perspective.

Reiterating my belief in the value of the experiment, I drew to a conclusion.

Reiterating my belief in the value of the experiment, I came to a conclusion.

The time has now come for me to say good-bye, and really I cannot trust my feelings to say it as I should like to say it.

The time has come for me to say goodbye, and honestly, I can't trust my feelings to express it the way I'd want to.

Believe me, I shall never forget you. In my sleep at night as well as in my waking hours, I shall hear in imagination the tramp of your feet in the yard, and see the lines of gray marching up and down.

Believe me, I will never forget you. In my sleep at night and during my waking hours, I will imagine the sound of your footsteps in the yard and see the lines of gray moving back and forth.

And do not forget me. Think of me always as your true friend. I shall ask the privilege of being enrolled as an honorary member of your brotherhood.

And don’t forget me. Always think of me as your true friend. I’d like to request the honor of being added as an honorary member of your brotherhood.

I do not know that I could better close my remarks than by repeating to you those noble lines which the poet Longfellow found inscribed on a tablet in an old churchyard in the Austrian Tyrol:

I don’t know if I can wrap up my thoughts any better than by repeating those beautiful lines that the poet Longfellow discovered on a tablet in an old churchyard in the Austrian Tyrol:

[Pg 266]“Look not mournfully into the Past; it comes not back again.

[Pg 266]“Don’t look back at the past with sadness; it won’t come back.”

“Wisely improve the Present; it is thine.

“Use the present wisely; it belongs to you.

“Go forth to meet the shadowy Future without fear and with a manly heart.”

“Step forward to face the uncertain Future without fear and with courage.”

Halting and inadequate as are the words of my speech, I feel certain that my audience understands me. Had I stood up here and repeated the alphabet or the dictionary, I think it would have been the same. The men are going far behind the words; they are looking into my soul and I into theirs.

Halting and inadequate as my words are, I'm confident my audience gets me. If I stood up here and recited the alphabet or the dictionary, I believe it would have the same effect. The men are seeing beyond the words; they're looking into my soul and I'm looking into theirs.

I have come among them, worn their uniform, marched in their lines, sat with them at meals and gone to the cells with them at night; for a week I have been literally one of them—even to fourteen hours in the dark punishment cells; what need therefore of words? It makes little or no difference what I say, or how far I fail to express my meaning. They understand.

I have joined them, worn their uniforms, marched alongside them, shared meals with them, and gone to the cells with them at night; for a week I have truly been one of them—even spending fourteen hours in the dark punishment cells. So what’s the point of words? It hardly matters what I say or how much I struggle to convey my thoughts. They get it.

A feeling of renewed life, a sense of hope and exhilaration kindles within me as I look in their faces and realize for the first time the full measure of their gratitude and affection. I step down from the platform and again take my seat with the basket-shop company; receiving warm grips of the hand from Stuhlmiller, Bell, and the others as I crowd past them to my seat in the center.

A feeling of renewed life and a sense of hope and excitement ignites within me as I look at their faces and realize for the first time how grateful and affectionate they truly are. I step down from the platform and take my seat again with the basket-shop crew, receiving warm handshakes from Stuhlmiller, Bell, and the others as I move through them to my spot in the center.

[Pg 267]There ensues a long and dreary wait. In the mess-hall the first ones in are the first ones out; but up here in chapel the first ones in are the last ones out. It is a very tiresome arrangement for the earlier ones; and as we are well beyond the center, the delay seems interminable. Over thirteen hundred men have to march down stairs in single file, and that apparently takes a long time.

[Pg 267]A long and boring wait follows. In the mess hall, the first people to arrive are the first to leave; but here in the chapel, the first ones in are the last to leave. It's a really frustrating setup for those who got here early; and since we are well past the midpoint, the wait feels endless. Over thirteen hundred men have to walk down the stairs in a single line, and that clearly takes a while.

However, it gives a chance for my excitement to calm down, and my tired senses to get a bit rested. So that by the time I have marched down stairs, through the stone corridor, up the iron stairs and along the gallery to Cell 15, second tier, north, north wing, I am in a more normal condition than I have been since yesterday afternoon.

However, it allows my excitement to settle down, and gives my tired senses a chance to rest a bit. By the time I’ve walked down the stairs, through the stone corridor, up the iron stairs, and along the gallery to Cell 15, second tier, north, north wing, I feel more normal than I have since yesterday afternoon.

While I am packing my few belongings into the small handbag, Grant appears at the door; and as soon as I am ready I accompany him for a last journey along the gallery, down the iron stairs and through the stone corridor. Then we turn up the stairway leading to the main office—the stairway down which I descended into prison six days ago. At the head of the flight two light taps on the iron door bring the face of the hall keeper to the pane of glass set in the door, the key grates in the lock and the heavy barrier swings open. I have passed the inner wall and breathe more freely.

While I’m packing my few things into a small handbag, Grant shows up at the door. As soon as I’m ready, I follow him for one last walk along the hallway, down the metal stairs, and through the stone corridor. Then we head up the staircase to the main office—the staircase I came down into prison six days ago. At the top of the flight, two light knocks on the iron door bring the hall keeper’s face to the glass pane in the door. The key grinds in the lock, and the heavy door swings open. I’ve passed the inner wall and can breathe a little easier.

[Pg 268]Arrived in the Warden’s rooms—he himself is unfortunately still away—I lose no time in getting into a tub. After a most refreshing bath, I dress in my ordinary citizen’s clothes and am served with eggs and bacon and a cup of coffee. It is real coffee, not bootleg.

[Pg 268]I've just arrived in the Warden’s rooms—unfortunately, he’s still away—so I waste no time and hop into a tub. After a really refreshing bath, I put on my regular clothes and get served some eggs and bacon along with a cup of coffee. It's real coffee, not some cheap stuff.

I do full justice to the food and drink, and feel very sorry for any one who has not had the experience of a first meal out of prison. I envy the Warden his cook and his devoted attendants.

I really appreciate the food and drink, and I feel sorry for anyone who hasn’t had the experience of their first meal after getting out of prison. I envy the Warden for having such a great cook and dedicated staff.

After being thus invigorated, I gird up my loins for the next duty, and go to measure arguments with the Principal Keeper in his private office. I begin by shaking hands with him warmly, for I wish to atone for any rudeness of last night and make him understand that I have no hard feelings toward him personally. Then I plunge at once into the subject.

After feeling refreshed, I prepare myself for the next task and head to the Principal Keeper's office to discuss things. I start by giving him a warm handshake because I want to make up for any rudeness from last night and show him that I don't hold any personal grudges against him. Then, I dive straight into the topic at hand.

“P. K., I don’t wish to be unpleasant, nor do or say anything I am not fully justified in doing or saying, but I must tell you plainly that I can not go from this place, leaving that poor sick boy down in that second cell in jail. There are others who, in my opinion, ought not to be there, but his is the worst case. He should be in the hospital, not in such a damnable hole as that. He’s sick, and you are driving him crazy with your absurd rules about water. And I shall not—I can not—leave the prison unless something is to be done about it.”

“P. K., I don’t want to be rude, and I don’t want to say or do anything I can’t justify, but I have to be clear that I can’t leave this place while that poor sick boy is down in that second cell in jail. There are others who, in my opinion, shouldn’t be there, but his situation is the worst. He needs to be in the hospital, not stuck in a terrible hole like that. He’s unwell, and your ridiculous rules about water are driving him crazy. And I won’t—I can’t—leave the prison unless something is done about it.”

[Pg 269]This and much more I pour into the patient ears of the P. K. It is written in the veracious “Bab Ballads,” concerning Sir Macklin, a clergyman “severe in conduct and in conversation,” that:

[Pg 269]I share this and much more with the attentive P. K. It’s noted in the truthful “Bab Ballads” about Sir Macklin, a clergyman “strict in behavior and in dialogue,” that:

“He argued high, he argued low,
He also argued round about him.”

“He argued passionately, he argued quietly,
He also argued from all angles.”

It is much the same in this case. My arguments are many, and some are based on high moral ground and others on mere motives of self-interest. My words flow easily enough now.

It’s pretty similar in this situation. I have a lot of arguments, some based on strong moral principles and others just on personal gain. I can express myself quite easily now.

The P. K. takes refuge behind the official policies. He disclaims any personal motives—almost any personal responsibility. He seems to think that there is little or no occasion for the exercise of any judgment on his part. A complaint comes from an officer about a prisoner. There is apparently nothing for the P. K. to do but accept the complaint, take the word of the officer as a matter of course, and punish the prisoner. I also get the impression that sending every offender to the jail is the most desirable form of punishment, as it involves no troublesome discrimination or attempt at careful adjustment; it makes the thing so simple and easy.

The P.K. hides behind the official policies. He denies having any personal motives—almost any personal responsibility. He seems to believe there's little or no reason for him to exercise any judgment. When an officer complains about a prisoner, it seems the only thing the P.K. can do is accept the complaint, take the officer's word for it, and punish the prisoner. I also get the sense that sending every offender to jail is the easiest form of punishment for him, as it avoids any complicated decisions or careful consideration; it makes everything so straightforward and simple.

Anything more crude, any greater outrage upon justice and common sense than the system of prison discipline as revealed in this illuminating discussion, it would be impossible to conceive. If[Pg 270] a deliberate attempt were to be made to draft a code of punishment which should produce a minimum of efficacy and a maximum of failure and exasperation among the prisoners, it could not be more skilfully planned. One can no longer be surprised at the anomalous condition of things, as revealed by the kind of men I found in the jail.

Anything more crude, any greater outrage against justice and common sense than the prison discipline system discussed here is hard to imagine. If[Pg 270] someone were to intentionally create a punishment system aimed at achieving the least effectiveness and the most frustration among the prisoners, it couldn’t be engineered more expertly. It’s no longer surprising to see the odd situation revealed by the types of people I found in the jail.

In the midst of the discussion I welcome a warm ally in the Doctor, who at my request is brought into consultation. He had by no means intended that Number Two should be sent to the jail when discharged from the hospital; although he states it as a fact that the boy was a somewhat troublesome and unruly patient—a fact which I do not doubt in the least. Under existing conditions I should think any man, unless he were a dolt or an idiot, would be troublesome.

In the middle of the discussion, I warmly welcome a friend in the Doctor, who is brought in for consultation at my request. He never meant for Number Two to be sent to jail when he was discharged from the hospital; although he does mention that the boy was a somewhat difficult and unruly patient—a fact I completely believe. Given the current circumstances, I think any man, unless he were a fool or an idiot, would be difficult.

This statement of the Doctor’s gives me the chance to utter a tirade against a System which has no gradation in its punishments. If stress is to be laid on punishment rather than reward, there should be at least some approximation to justice, and the punishment should bear some proportion to the offence. “You admit,” I say to the P. K., “that these punishment cells are the severest form of discipline that you have. Then why, in Heaven’s name, do you exhaust your severest punishment on trivial offences? If you use the jail with its dark cells and bread and water[Pg 271] for whispering in the shop, what have you left when a man tries to murder his keeper?”

This statement from the Doctor gives me the opportunity to go on a rant about a system that doesn’t have any scale for its punishments. If the focus is on punishment instead of reward, there should at least be some semblance of justice, and the punishment should correspond to the crime. “You admit,” I say to the P. K., “that these punishment cells are the harshest form of discipline you have. So why, for heaven’s sake, do you reserve your harshest punishment for minor offenses? If you use the jail with its dark cells and bread and water[Pg 271] for whispering in the shop, what do you have left when someone attempts to murder their keeper?”

In reply the P. K. makes the best showing he can, but in truth there is no reply. One of the things that is most irritating about prison is the number of questions that admit of no sensible explanation. It irresistibly reminds one of the topsy-turvy world that Alice found in Wonderland; and of the Hatter’s famous conundrum, “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” to which there was no answer.

In response, the P. K. tries to put on a good front, but honestly, there’s no real answer. One of the most frustrating things about prison is the countless questions that don't have a sensible explanation. It unavoidably brings to mind the chaotic world that Alice discovered in Wonderland; and of the Hatter's famous riddle, “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” which had no answer.

The P. K., finding himself driven from point to point in the argument, takes refuge in the statement that complaint comes from the prison department in Albany that he doesn’t punish often or severely enough. This seems very extraordinary. How in the world can the clerks in Albany judge of the need of punishments in this prison, concerning the inner workings of which they know absolutely nothing?

The P.K., feeling pushed from one argument to another, leans on the claim that the prison department in Albany is complaining that he doesn’t punish inmates often or harshly enough. This seems quite odd. How on earth can the clerks in Albany assess the need for punishments in this prison, about which they know absolutely nothing?

I argue, I implore, I threaten. The Doctor more gently and diplomatically seconds my efforts. Finally the P. K. with an air of triumph brings out his last and conclusive argument.

I argue, I beg, I threaten. The Doctor more gently and diplomatically supports my efforts. Finally, the P. K., with a sense of victory, presents his final and definitive argument.

“There is a great deal in what you say, gentlemen, and I should like to oblige you, Mr. Osborne, but you see this is Sunday; and you know we never let ’em out of jail on Sunday.”

“There’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying, gentlemen, and I’d like to help you, Mr. Osborne, but you see, it’s Sunday; and you know we never release anyone from jail on Sundays.”

The P. K. leans back in his chair, evidently feeling that he has used a clincher. Then I rise[Pg 272] in wrath. “Sunday!” I exclaim. “In Heaven’s name, P. K., what is Sunday? Isn’t it the Lord’s Day? Very well, then. Do you mean to tell us that you actually think if you take a poor sick boy, with an open wound in his ear, out of a close, dirty, vermin-filled, dark cell, where he isn’t allowed to wash, and has but three gills of water a day—do you mean to say that to take that sick boy out of such a detestable hole and put him back into the hospital, where the Doctor says he belongs—do you really think that such an act of mercy would be displeasing to God? Do you think God approves of your infernal jail? Do you think——”

The P. K. leans back in his chair, clearly feeling like he has made a strong point. Then I stand up in anger. “Sunday!” I shout. “For heaven’s sake, P. K., what is Sunday? Isn’t it the Lord’s Day? Fine, then. Are you really telling us that you think taking a poor sick boy, with an open wound in his ear, out of a cramped, filthy, bug-infested, dark cell, where he can’t wash and only gets three cups of water a day—do you really believe that taking that sick boy out of such a horrible place and putting him back in the hospital, where the Doctor says he belongs—do you honestly think that such an act of mercy would upset God? Do you think God approves of your awful jail? Do you think——”

I break off, simply because I haven’t the strength to continue; anger and disgust, on top of all the excitements of the last twenty-four hours, bring me to my last ounce of endurance. Fortunately the tide turns. The P. K. is silent for a few moments after my last outburst, but as I watch him I see something beginning to stir, a light is dawning upon the official mind, a smile of triumph announces a solution of the difficulty.

I stop speaking because I just don't have the strength to keep going; my anger and disgust, combined with all the excitement of the past twenty-four hours, have pushed me to my breaking point. Thankfully, things start to change. The P.K. is quiet for a few moments after my last outburst, but as I observe him, I notice something starting to happen—a realization is forming in his mind, and a triumphant smile suggests he’s found a solution to the problem.

“Why,” he gasps, “that’s true. I think you’re right. We put ’em in on Sunday; why shouldn’t we take ’em out?”

“Why,” he breathes, “that’s true. I think you’re right. We put them in on Sunday; why shouldn’t we take them out?”

The great question is solved. The P. K.’s brilliant logic has made it possible for mercy to temper justice, and pleased at his great discovery[Pg 273] he determines to do the thing handsomely while he is about it, and let not only one but all the prisoners out of the jail. To this I have no objection to offer. He also generously accedes to my desire to pay a visit to these as yet unseen friends of mine; and I assure him that I will not pose as their deliverer, but simply give them good advice, and leave it for him to take them the news of their liberation.

The big question has been answered. The P. K.'s sharp reasoning has made it possible for mercy to balance justice, and pleased with his incredible discovery[Pg 273], he decides to do it right and let not just one but all the prisoners out of jail. I have no objections to this. He also generously agrees to my wish to visit these friends of mine whom I haven't seen yet; and I assure him that I won't act like their savior, but will just offer them good advice and leave it to him to deliver the news of their freedom.

On this errand I pass once more behind the barriers. I descend the gloomy staircase from the rear office, and traverse part of my memorable walk of last night—through the stone corridor and down the yard to the jail office. Here the Captain in charge takes the heavy keys from the locker and opens the outer door. As our steps resound in the passage, I think how each of the five prisoners within is listening and wondering who and what is coming.

On this errand, I once again pass behind the barriers. I go down the dark staircase from the back office and walk part of the path that stands out in my memory from last night—through the stone corridor and down the yard to the jail office. Here, the Captain in charge takes the heavy keys from the locker and unlocks the outer door. As our footsteps echo in the hallway, I think about how each of the five prisoners inside is listening and wondering who and what is approaching.

The inner door is unlocked and opened, and amid complete silence from the occupants of the other cells, Number Two’s door is thrown open.

The inner door is unlocked and opened, and with total silence from the occupants of the other cells, Number Two’s door swings open.

As I have said, it is a curious experience making acquaintance and establishing intimate relations with people whom you cannot see; but it is equally curious to see for the first time men with whose voices and personalities you already feel well acquainted. Last night I had the first of these experiences, now I have the other. One by one the[Pg 274] cell doors are opened and the occupants, unwashed and in their dirty jail clothes, are allowed to step forward, shake me by the hand and have a few words of friendly conversation. I tell them I have come to see them face to face before leaving the prison, to thank them for their friendly treatment of me, to renew my invitation to dine when they leave, and to talk briefly over the case of each.

As I mentioned, it’s an interesting experience getting to know and forming close connections with people you can’t see; but it’s just as fascinating to finally meet men whose voices and personalities you already feel familiar with. Last night, I had the first experience, and now I’m having the other. One by one, the[Pg 274] cell doors are opened, and the inmates, unwashed and in their shabby jail clothes, are allowed to step forward, shake my hand, and share a few friendly words. I tell them I’ve come to see them in person before I leave the prison, to thank them for their kindness towards me, to renew my invitation to dinner when they’re out, and to briefly discuss each of their cases.

Number Two I advise to apologize to the Doctor. He admits being troublesome in the hospital; and it is quite evident the poor fellow needs to go back there. He is a dark-haired lad, with a sweet voice and a confiding, boyish manner that is very winning.

Number Two I suggest you apologize to the Doctor. He acknowledges that he was a hassle in the hospital, and it's clear that the poor guy needs to return there. He’s a dark-haired guy with a nice voice and a trusting, boyish charm that's really appealing.

Number Three I advise to apologize to the Captain of his company and to try to keep his temper better in the future. The person who called him ugly names, having been sent to the hospital, seems to have been sufficiently punished. To my relief Number Three seems to be decidedly better of his cold.

Number Three I suggest apologizing to the Captain of his company and working on keeping his temper in check moving forward. The person who insulted him, having been sent to the hospital, appears to have faced adequate consequences. Thankfully, Number Three seems to be feeling much better from his cold.

Number Four (it is needless to say that my heart warms toward the handsome young fellow whom I greet as Joe) I advise to apologize to his Captain for the fight with Number Five, and to be more careful for the future. Joe is rather abashed and self-conscious by daylight, but very prolific of promises. Methinks he doth protest rather too much, and in spite of his good looks,[Pg 275] his eyes do not give the direct glance that one likes to see.

Number Four (I don't need to say that I have a soft spot for the good-looking young guy I call Joe) should apologize to his Captain for the fight with Number Five and be more careful in the future. Joe is a bit embarrassed and self-conscious during the day, but he makes a lot of promises. It seems to me he protests a bit too much, and even though he’s attractive,[Pg 275] his eyes don’t have the straightforward look that one prefers to see.

To Number Five I give advice similar to Joe’s, and he engages to profit by it.

To Number Five, I offer advice like Joe's, and he agrees to benefit from it.

To Number Eight I also urge an apology to the powers that be and submission to the inevitable. He is a little harder to convince than the others, but we reach an agreement.

To Number Eight, I also suggest offering an apology to the authorities and accepting what’s unavoidable. He’s a bit harder to persuade than the others, but we come to an agreement.

“What is the use,” I say to all of them, “of letting your tempers get the better of you when it hurts nobody but yourselves?” My preaching is directed rather toward a cultivation of self-interest than of lofty idealism, but I believe it hits the mark. They none of them admit the justice of their jail sentences, and on that point I can not argue with them. I acknowledge the injustice, but ask them to face the facts. So one and all admit they have been wrong and express themselves ready to make all amends for the present and try their best for the future.

“What’s the point,” I say to all of them, “in letting your tempers take control when it only hurts you?” My message is more about looking out for yourself than about high-minded ideals, but I think it resonates. None of them acknowledge the fairness of their jail sentences, and I can’t argue with them on that. I recognize the unfairness, but I urge them to accept the reality. So, one by one, they admit they were wrong and say they’re willing to make amends now and do their best moving forward.

And so, in a much pleasanter frame of mind than when I last left this place, I retrace my steps to the Warden’s rooms.

And so, feeling much happier than when I last left this place, I make my way back to the Warden’s rooms.

Returning through the back office I shake hands all around—with both officers and prisoners—all but one man. A slight, pale figure in glasses is bending over his desk in a corner of the office. He is one of the Warden’s stenographers. Last July I had an extended conversation with him, at[Pg 276] the Warden’s suggestion, and a more hopeless and discouraging proposition I never struck. He is an old-timer, knows all the ropes, has been through the game, and has settled down to hopeless cynicism. He seems to have no belief in himself or others, and I have no doubt is utterly uninterested in my whole experience, and will be one of the greatest stumbling blocks to any attempted reforms. He will condemn them at the outset, discouraging others who are willing to try. This, at least, is the impression I had of him last July when the Warden persuaded me to talk with him. Now, as he bends over his desk with his eyes on his work I pass him by; for he evidently has no interest in me and I can not see where I can be of any service to him.

As I walk back through the office, I shake hands with everyone—both the officers and the prisoners—except for one man. A slight, pale guy in glasses is hunched over his desk in a corner. He’s one of the Warden’s stenographers. Last July, I had a long conversation with him, at the Warden’s suggestion, and it was the most hopeless and discouraging chat I’ve ever had. He’s an old-timer, knows the ins and outs, has been through it all, and has settled into a deep cynicism. He seems to have no faith in himself or anyone else, and I’m sure he’s completely uninterested in my experiences, making him one of the biggest obstacles to any reform efforts. He'll dismiss them from the start and discourage others who might be willing to try. That was my impression of him last July when the Warden encouraged me to talk to him. Now, as he focuses on his work at his desk, I walk past him; it’s clear he has no interest in me, and I can’t see how I could help him.

There remains now but one more thing to do—bid farewell to my partner, my dear and loyal friend, Jack Murphy. He has been sent for; and, as I reënter the Warden’s office, he stands looking out of the window.

There’s just one more thing to do—say goodbye to my partner, my dear and loyal friend, Jack Murphy. He’s been called for; and as I go back into the Warden’s office, he’s standing by the window, looking outside.

“Jack, old fellow, I couldn’t leave here without saying good-bye to you.”

“Jack, my friend, I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to you.”

He turns, and the tears are running down his cheeks. As for myself I have long since got beyond that stage. “Oh, Mr. Osborne——” he begins, but I stop him.

He turns, and tears are streaming down his cheeks. As for me, I've long since moved past that. “Oh, Mr. Osborne——” he starts, but I cut him off.

“Cut it out, partner, cut it out! You mustn’t meddle with my last name. It has been Tom and[Pg 277] Jack now since Wednesday, and Tom and Jack it must continue to be. I am still your partner, and clothes are not going to make any difference with you and me.”

“Knock it off, partner, knock it off! You can’t mess with my last name. It’s been Tom and[Pg 277] Jack since Wednesday, and it has to stay that way. I’m still your partner, and what we wear isn’t going to change that between us.”

“Oh, Tom!” says the poor fellow. “What am I going to do now?”

“Oh, Tom!” says the poor guy. “What am I supposed to do now?”

For the first time I fully realize how deep this experience has cut into the hearts of these men. I thought I already understood it, but Jack reveals a new depth.

For the first time, I truly understand how deeply this experience has affected these men. I thought I already got it, but Jack shows me a whole new level.

“What are you going to do?” I ask in answer. “You are going right ahead making baskets down in the old shop. But you are also going to help out our Commission. While I am working outside, you will be working inside. And together, Jack, we are going to assist in giving things a good shaking up. You’ve got the hardest part of the work to do, but I shall keep in close touch with you, and we will often consult together. And sometime, Jack, some day in the future when the right time has come, you can count upon me to go to the Governor for you.”

“What are you going to do?” I ask in response. “You’re going to keep making baskets down in the old shop. But you’re also going to help our Commission. While I’m working outside, you’ll be working inside. And together, Jack, we’re going to shake things up. You’ve got the toughest part of the work, but I’ll stay in close contact with you, and we’ll often talk things over. And someday, Jack, when the right moment arrives, you can count on me to talk to the Governor for you.”

At this suggestion of a pardon, I expect to get from Jack a quick word of gratitude, some sort of indication that he is conscious of having attained his first step toward freedom, the interest of a friend who may be able to secure fair consideration, at least, of an application for pardon.

At this idea of a pardon, I expect to hear from Jack a swift word of thanks, some sign that he realizes he has taken his first step toward freedom, the support of a friend who might be able to ensure fair consideration, at least, of a pardon request.

To my surprise he turns to me almost roughly. “Put that right out of your mind, Tom,” he says.[Pg 278] “Don’t you bother your head about that, one single minute. I am ready to stay behind these walls all my life if I can help you and the Commission bring about some of these reforms you have in mind. That’s all I want!”

To my surprise, he turns to me almost harshly. “Forget that, Tom,” he says.[Pg 278] “Don’t waste a minute worrying about it. I’m prepared to stay behind these walls for the rest of my life if it means I can help you and the Commission make some of these changes you’re thinking about. That’s all I want!”

I try to answer, but there is nothing to say. What can one do except to humble oneself before such a spirit of self-sacrifice? Moreover, while my whole being is thrilled with the wonder of all this new revelation of the essential nobility of mankind, my physical condition is approaching very near to complete collapse. Silently therefore I clasp Jack’s hand in mine, and silently we stand looking out of the window while each of us masters his emotion. Then with a brief “Good-bye, Jack!” “Good-bye, Tom!” in the back office, I watch the heavy iron door close with a clang behind him, as he descends the iron staircase back into the prison; and so to his stone cage, four feet by seven and a half, in the damp basement of the north wing.

I try to respond, but there's nothing to say. What can anyone do but humble themselves in the face of such a spirit of self-sacrifice? At the same time, while I'm completely amazed by this new understanding of the fundamental nobility of humanity, my physical state is close to total collapse. So, without a word, I take Jack’s hand in mine, and we silently look out the window as we each try to control our emotions. Then, with a quick “Good-bye, Jack!” “Good-bye, Tom!” from the back office, I watch the heavy iron door slam shut behind him as he heads down the iron staircase back into the prison; and so to his stone cage, four feet by seven and a half, in the damp basement of the north wing.

Then, with one last look through the grated window of the back office, I turn and make my way down the front steps of the prison. The guard at the gate unlocks and opens the outer barrier. I am free.

Then, with one last look through the barred window of the back office, I turn and head down the front steps of the prison. The guard at the gate unlocks and opens the outer barrier. I am free.

No, not free. Bound evermore by ties that can never be broken, to my brothers here within[Pg 279] the walls. My sentence, originally indeterminate, is now straight life, without commutation or parole.

No, not free. Forever tied by bonds that can never be broken, to my brothers here within[Pg 279] these walls. My sentence, which used to be indefinite, is now a life sentence, with no chance of parole or reduction.


It may be of interest, as a matter of record, to append a transcript of the official punishment report of the five prisoners with whom I spent the night in the jail.

It might be worth noting, for the record, to include a transcript of the official punishment report for the five prisoners I spent the night with in jail.

Date Reg. No. Name When Received Location Keeper Punished by
Oct. 5 32648 N-L[16]
[No. 3]
Dec. 30, 1912 Yard H——[16] A. P. K.[17]
  32812 E-D
[No. 2]
Mar. 15, 1913 Yard G—— "
  31175 A-J
[No. 5]
July 18, 1910 State M—— "
  31342 J-M
[No. 4]
July 19, 1912 State M—— "
  32465 J-W
[No. 4]
Sept. 4, 1912 Enamel F—— "
  Pun. Cell
Days
Days
Forfeited
Compensation
forfeited
Offense and Remarks.
No. 3 3 days 10 days $5.00[18] Striking another inmate while in yard.
No. 2 3 days 10 days $5.00 Disobeying orders by loud talking in hospital after being cautioned.
No. 5 2 days 10 days $5.00 Fighting with 31342. M—
No. 4 2 days 10 days $5.00 Fighting with 31175. J—
No. 8 2 days 10 days $5.00 Disobeying orders by refusing to work as told by officer and foreman.

 

 


CHAPTER XV

CUI BONO?

 

February 1, 1914.

February 1, 1914.

Since the eventful week I have attempted to describe in the foregoing chapters, I have received a large number of letters which throw light on the Prison Problem. Letters from the Auburn prisoners, letters from men in other prisons, letters from ex-convicts, giving ideas based upon their own experiences, letters from prison officials in other states, expressing keen interest in the results of my experiment, letters from sympathetic men and women of the outside world, proving the existence of a large amount of sentiment in favor of a rational reform of our Prison System.

Since the busy week I tried to describe in the previous chapters, I have received a lot of letters that shed light on the Prison Problem. There are letters from the Auburn prisoners, letters from people in other prisons, letters from former convicts sharing their own experiences, letters from prison officials in other states who are really interested in the results of my experiment, and letters from caring men and women in the outside world, which show that there is significant support for a sensible reform of our Prison System.

Many of these letters are valuable in connection with the broad question of Prison Reform but have no direct bearing upon my personal experiences in Auburn Prison; they would therefore be out of place here. Others of them do deal directly with that incident, reflecting the[Pg 281] prisoners’ side of the matter. A selection from these letters has a distinct place in the story of my stay within the walls. If the tone of some of them seems unduly laudatory, let it be understood that they have been included not for that reason, but simply to enable us to gauge the actual results of the visit of Tom Brown—that fortunate representative of the sympathy of the outer world. These expressions of friendship and gratitude should not be considered as personal tributes, their importance lies not in the character of the recipient but in the state of mind of the writers.

Many of these letters are important when it comes to the broader issue of prison reform, but they don’t really relate to my personal experiences in Auburn Prison; so they wouldn't fit in here. Some of them do directly address that event, showing the[Pg 281] prisoners’ perspective. A selection of these letters has a significant role in the story of my time behind those walls. If the tone of some seems overly flattering, it's important to note that they were included not for that reason, but just to help us understand the actual impact of Tom Brown's visit—that lucky representative of the support from the outside world. These expressions of friendship and gratitude shouldn't be seen as personal accolades; their significance lies not in who received them but in the mindset of the writers.

In other words, the vital point of this matter, as in all others connected with the Prison Problem, is this: After all has been said and done, what manner of men are these prisoners? Are they specimens of “the criminal” we have had pictured to us in so many works on “Penology”? Or are they simply men from the same stock as the rest of us—some of them degenerate, some mentally ill balanced, some slaves to evil habits, diseased, sinful, or simply unfortunate—whatever you like—but still men? I think these letters may help others to an answer as they have helped me.

In other words, the key point in this issue, just like in all matters related to the Prison Problem, is this: After everything has been said and done, what kind of people are these prisoners? Are they examples of "the criminal" that we’ve read about in so many books on "Penology"? Or are they just people from the same background as the rest of us—some of them struggling with their weaknesses, some dealing with mental health issues, some trapped by bad habits, sick, flawed, or just plain unfortunate—however you want to put it—but still human? I believe these letters can provide insight to others just as they have for me.

A few days after the memorable Sunday on which I left prison, Warden Rattigan found a paper placed upon his desk. It came from the slight, pale man with whom I had talked in July,[Pg 282] the man who struck me as being such a cynic—so discouraged and discouraging, the one with whom I had not shaken hands upon leaving, because—Heaven forgive me—I thought he had no interest or confidence in me or my experiment.

A few days after the unforgettable Sunday when I got out of prison, Warden Rattigan discovered a note on his desk. It was from the thin, pale guy I had talked to in July,[Pg 282] the one who seemed like such a cynic—so disheartened and disheartening, the one I hadn’t shaken hands with when I left because—God forgive me—I thought he had no interest or faith in me or my experiment.

It seems, according to the Warden, that this man (his name is Richards) had at first been very sceptical concerning my visit; but he had, as will appear, watched me very carefully; and, after having changed his own point of view, was much irritated by certain sarcastic editorials in the newspapers. So he applied to the Warden for permission to write a letter on the subject to one of the great New York dailies.

It seems, according to the Warden, that this man (his name is Richards) was initially very skeptical about my visit; however, as you'll see, he observed me closely, and after shifting his perspective, he became quite annoyed by some sarcastic editorials in the newspapers. So, he asked the Warden for permission to write a letter on the matter to one of the major New York daily newspapers.

When the Warden showed the letter to me I advised against its publication—as I cared for no personal vindication. But I treasured the letter, and Richards and I have since become the warmest of friends. Here is what he wrote to the Warden:

When the Warden showed me the letter, I advised against publishing it since I didn’t need any personal validation. However, I valued the letter, and Richards and I have since become the best of friends. Here’s what he wrote to the Warden:

I think that in justice to the prisoners in this institution that objection should be taken to some of the editorials which are being printed about Mr. Osborne’s experience as a voluntary prisoner in Auburn prison. I for one desire to protest and take exception against some of the editorials which appear in the papers—especially in the New York A—— and S——.

I believe that to be fair to the prisoners in this facility, there should be some pushback regarding certain editorials being published about Mr. Osborne’s experience as a voluntary prisoner in Auburn prison. Personally, I want to express my disagreement with some of the editorials that show up in the papers—especially in the New York A—— and S——.

I have only used my privilege of letter writing on one occasion during my nearly two years’ incarceration here, and I wish that I could be allowed to write to one of[Pg 283] these papers a letter setting forth my exceptions in the following strain, and I want to assure you that I mean every word of what I have written.

I have only taken advantage of my privilege to write letters once during my almost two years of being locked up here, and I wish I could write to one of[Pg 283] these publications to express my thoughts in the following way, and I want to make it clear that I truly mean every word of what I've written.

The following is his draft of the proposed letter to the New York paper.

The following is his draft of the proposed letter to the New York newspaper.

I am one of those whom society calls a confirmed criminal. I have had the misfortune to be unable to resist temptation on several occasions, with the result that I carry upon my left sleeve the red disc of shame. But I want to say to you, and to the rest of the world, that although society looks upon me as a creature unworthy of sympathy, as one whose life has been a waste, as one not fit to associate with the people at large, yet I still have left within me a little spark of gratitude.

I’m one of those people society labels a confirmed criminal. I've unfortunately given in to temptation more than once, and now I bear the red badge of shame on my left sleeve. But I want to tell you, and the rest of the world, that even though society sees me as someone unworthy of sympathy, as a person whose life has been a waste, as someone not fit to associate with others, I still hold a small spark of gratitude within me.

I have watched with careful eye and keen interest this self-imposed imprisonment. My cell was very close to Tom Brown’s, and at night I could look straight from my cell into the window opposite and see there reflected the cell of Tom Brown, No. 15 on the second tier, and its occupant. I know that everything he went through was real. I know that there was no fake about his imprisonment. And I know this, that he went through a great deal more hardship and mental torture as a voluntary prisoner than he would had he been regularly committed to the prison. With his education and knowledge he would have been put to work in a clerical capacity, instead of making baskets, and his labor would not have been so hard. His incarceration in the cooler was real. I know this for a positive fact. I heard him coming from the cooler early Sunday morning[Pg 284] in his stocking feet, so as not to wake up his fellow prisoners.

I have been closely observing this self-imposed confinement with a lot of interest. My cell was very close to Tom Brown’s, and at night I could see right from my cell into the window across from me and catch a glimpse of Tom Brown’s cell, No. 15 on the second tier, and its occupant. I know that everything he went through was real. I know there was nothing fake about his imprisonment. And I know this: he experienced a lot more hardship and mental torment as a voluntary prisoner than he would have if he had been officially committed to the prison. With his education and knowledge, he would have been assigned to work in a clerical role instead of making baskets, and his work wouldn't have been so hard. His time in the cooler was genuine. I know this for a fact. I heard him coming from the cooler early Sunday morning[Pg 284] in his socks, trying not to wake up the other prisoners.

The editorial in the A— is unjust. It speaks of Jack London and others writing about prison conditions. It says that the convicts in the penitentiary “cannot get out,” and that “they are locked in at night.” Granted that all this is what you want to ridicule it to be, the man that wrote this editorial would be accused of being inhuman if he were to put his dog through what Mr. Osborne went through during his week of imprisonment.

The editorial in the A— is unfair. It talks about Jack London and others writing about prison conditions. It claims that the inmates in the penitentiary “can’t get out” and that “they are locked in at night.” Sure, that's how you want to mock it, but the person who wrote this editorial would be called inhumane if he treated his dog the way Mr. Osborne was treated during his week of imprisonment.

There is one thing I want to emphasize, and it is this. Mr. Osborne has seen with his own eyes, heard with his own ears and felt with his own feelings just what it is to be an outcast, even for so short a time as a week—just what it is to be deprived of your liberty for even so short a period, and your editorial writers and no one else that has not gone through the actual experience are qualified to criticise his efforts.

There’s one thing I want to highlight, and it’s this: Mr. Osborne has seen with his own eyes, heard with his own ears, and felt with his own emotions what it’s like to be an outcast, even for a brief week—what it means to be deprived of your freedom for even that short a time. Your editorial writers and anyone else who hasn’t gone through that actual experience aren’t in a position to criticize his efforts.

These papers would not believe a prisoner who came out of prison and told you of these facts; you must believe Mr. Osborne—you can’t do otherwise.

These people wouldn’t believe a prisoner who came out of jail and told you about these things; you have to believe Mr. Osborne—you really don’t have a choice.

I want to say that this self-sacrifice is going to do much to make better men of us criminals, not only now but in the future when we are again thrust upon society; and if there was just a little more Osbornism and a little less Journalism the prisoners would have a greater incentive to reform than they now have.

I want to say that this self-sacrifice is going to do a lot to make us criminals better people, not only now but in the future when we’re back in society; and if there was just a little more Osbornism and a little less Journalism, the prisoners would have a stronger incentive to reform than they do now.

I speak not only for myself, but for many other old timers with whom I have talked. I claim as an old timer and one who knows what he is talking about, as I have been through the mill since childhood, that one[Pg 285] act of kindness will do more toward reforming a criminal than a thousand acts of cruelty and than all the punishment that you can inflict.

I speak not just for myself but for many other veterans I've spoken to. As someone who has been around for a long time and really understands the situation, having experienced a lot since childhood, I believe that one[Pg 285] act of kindness can do more to reform a criminal than a thousand acts of cruelty or all the punishment you could impose.

Men will err, men will fall, and men will continue to commit crime, and society must be protected. We must have prisons; but I claim that the better way to treat a criminal in order to try and reform him is to use a little more kindness in our prisons and a little less punishment and cruelty.

Men will make mistakes, men will stumble, and men will keep committing crimes, and society needs to be safeguarded. We need prisons; however, I believe that a better way to handle a criminal in an effort to reform them is to show a bit more kindness in our prisons and a bit less punishment and cruelty.

I don’t want to be misunderstood in this matter. I have no favor to ask of anyone. I expect to do my time—all of it. But I want to take exception to the insinuation that Mr. Osborne’s stay was made any softer by the fact that the editor of his paper is Warden of Auburn Prison. The fact is that Warden Rattigan was away from the prison during the most of the week of Mr. Osborne’s imprisonment, and I know positively and from my own knowledge that his orders were to treat Tom Brown the same as any other convict in this prison; and 1,329 men here can testify that these orders were carried out to the letter.

I don't want to be misunderstood here. I’m not asking for any favors from anyone. I plan to serve my time—every bit of it. However, I want to address the suggestion that Mr. Osborne's experience was made easier because the editor of his paper is the Warden of Auburn Prison. The truth is, Warden Rattigan was away from the prison for most of the week Mr. Osborne was imprisoned, and I know for a fact, from my own experience, that his orders were to treat Tom Brown just like any other inmate in this prison; and 1,329 men here can confirm that those orders were followed exactly.

If some of these editorial writers could have heard the spontaneous applause in our chapel when Mr. Osborne, clad in the garb of a convict, rose from his seat and walked to the platform to address us, and could have seen the tears in the eyes of hardened rogues, I am sure that they would never treat this experiment in the light way they do. It was really a sorrowful and heart-rending spectacle and one which will never be forgotten by those who witnessed it. And if they could have witnessed the tears which flowed from Mr. Osborne’s eyes after he had once again put on the clothes of civilization, they would [Pg 286]have been convinced that his heart was almost breaking for the men whom he was leaving for a time.

If some of these editorial writers could have heard the spontaneous applause in our chapel when Mr. Osborne, dressed like a convict, stood up and walked to the platform to speak to us, and could have seen the tears in the eyes of hardened criminals, I’m sure they would never treat this experiment so lightly. It was truly a sorrowful and moving scene that will never be forgotten by those who saw it. And if they could have witnessed the tears streaming down Mr. Osborne’s face after he put on his civilized clothes again, they would [Pg 286]have been convinced that his heart was almost breaking for the men he was leaving for a while.

I am firmly convinced that Mr. Osborne is as much a friend of society as he is of the prisoner—there is no question about that; that he has at heart the interest and welfare of society, as well as the interests of the under dog, and that his motives are not inspired by any wholly sympathetic feeling, but by a feeling of brotherly love and justice and the feelings of one who believes in all of the words in the little line of the Lord’s Prayer:

I am fully convinced that Mr. Osborne is just as much a friend of society as he is of the prisoner—there's no doubt about that; that he genuinely cares about the interests and wellbeing of society, as well as those of the underdog, and that his motives are driven not just by pure sympathy, but by a sense of brotherly love and justice and by the beliefs of someone who truly holds the words of the Lord’s Prayer close to their heart:

“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

“Forgive us our mistakes, just as we forgive those who make mistakes against us.”

L. Richards, No. 31—.

L. Richards, No. 31—.

I leave it for any one to judge whether the writer of that letter is a hopeless criminal. Yet he speaks of himself as an old-timer, who bears upon his sleeve that cruel symbol of a repeated failure to make good—“the red disc of shame.”

I leave it to anyone to decide if the writer of that letter is a hopeless criminal. Yet he refers to himself as an old-timer, wearing that harsh emblem of a repeated failure to succeed—“the red disc of shame.”

To gauge this one man’s ability, his latent power for good, I add another letter from him, written at a time when the whole prison population was fearful that the new order of things in the prison department of New York State might be upset by the change of governors.

To assess this one man's ability and his hidden potential for good, I include another letter from him, written at a time when the entire prison population was worried that the new changes in New York State's prison department might be disrupted by the change in governors.

Auburn Prison,
October 20, 1913.

Auburn Prison,
October 20, 1913.

Mr. Thomas Mott Osborne, Auburn, N. Y.

Mr. Thomas Mott Osborne, Auburn, NY.

My dear Sir:

Dear Sir:

I learn of your expected visit to Albany during the present week, and I most earnestly request that if you[Pg 287] take up any of the matters with reference to the work of your Commission, that you present a plea of the prisoners here for a continuance of the work which you have started.

I hear you're planning to visit Albany this week, and I sincerely ask that if you[Pg 287] discuss any issues related to your Commission's work, you advocate for the inmates here to continue the work you've begun.

I have read numerous criticisms of your acts, most of them coming to the one conclusion—that you could not during your stay here undergo mentally what other prisoners were enduring. I know that was not calculated on by you; and I, as well as quite a number of others with whom I have spoken, fully understand and appreciate your motive.

I’ve seen a lot of criticism about your actions, and most of it leads to the same conclusion—that you couldn’t mentally go through what other prisoners were facing while you were here. I know you didn’t plan for that; and I, along with quite a few others I’ve talked to, fully understand and appreciate your intentions.

Were not one of your ideas adopted, were not a single thing done to better the physical condition of the prisoners in the penal institutions of the state, yet you have brought into our hearts and minds a desire to make better men of ourselves, to prove to the world that kindness and not punishment is the reformative agency.

If none of your ideas were taken up, if nothing was done to improve the living conditions of the prisoners in the state's correctional facilities, you've still inspired in us a desire to become better people and to show the world that kindness, not punishment, is the true path to reform.

We wonder what there is in us that impels men to take up our cause. I have given considerable thought to this in my solitary moments at night, and have come to the conclusion that there must be some good still left in even the most wretched and degenerate, that there must be some seed of righteousness, some spirit of manhood still left which only needs the proper nourishment to bring it into life. Punishment has been tried for centuries, and has failed. The doctrine of kindness and brotherly feeling as set forth by you will, I am sure, succeed; and I wish that you would plead our cause and lay before the proper authorities the importance of continuing the work.

We wonder what it is about us that makes people want to support our cause. I've thought a lot about this during my quiet nights alone, and I've concluded that there must be some goodness still left in even the most miserable and lost individuals, that there is a seed of righteousness and a spirit of humanity waiting to be nurtured into existence. Punishment has been tried for centuries and has failed. I truly believe that the principles of kindness and brotherhood that you advocate will succeed; I wish you would champion our cause and present to the relevant authorities the importance of continuing this effort.

A spirit of hope has sprung up in our hearts. Is this to [Pg 288]be crushed and turned to despair? Are we to see the efforts of your Commission defeated at this time? God forbid.

A sense of hope has risen in our hearts. Is this going to be [Pg 288] crushed and turned into despair? Are we about to see the work of your Commission fail right now? God forbid.

I do not plead for myself. I plead for the wives and the innocent babes of some of our unfortunates. For their sakes, if for no other reason, this work should continue. I know that the prisoners here will show by their conduct, not only now but in the future, that they have been influenced to do good and to do right, by the efforts which you have made and are making in their behalf.

I’m not asking for myself. I’m asking for the wives and the innocent babies of some of our unfortunate people. For their sake, if for no other reason, this work should go on. I believe that the prisoners here will demonstrate through their behavior, not just now but in the future, that they have been inspired to do good and to do what's right because of the efforts you've made and are making for them.

I am one of those dyed deep with crime, in the opinion of society. I have been in several prisons, but I still feel that I have a chance, that there is still hope; and this feeling has been strengthened within the past month by your act of self-sacrifice; and I see around me 1,300 other men whose lives are worth something to society—worth the effort which your Commission is making for their uplift.

I’m one of those people society views as deeply stained by crime. I’ve spent time in several prisons, but I still believe I have a chance, that there’s still hope; and this belief has grown in the past month because of your selfless act. I see around me 1,300 other men whose lives have value to society—worth the effort your Commission is putting in to help them rise.

Very truly yours,
L. Richards, No. 31—.

Best regards,
L. Richards, No. 31—.

It may be urged that Richards is a man of very considerable literary ability, which is obvious, and that his case is an exceptional one.

It can be argued that Richards is a person of significant literary talent, which is clear, and that his situation is a unique one.

Let us, therefore, take a man of entirely different caliber, of but little education, one whose experience has been a rough one. Following is a letter from a man who is as unlike Richards mentally and physically as one man can very well be from another.

Let’s take a man who is completely different, someone with little education and a tough life experience. Below is a letter from a man who is as different from Richards, both mentally and physically, as one person can be from another.

[Pg 289] 135 State St., Auburn, N. Y.
Oct. 5, 1913.

[Pg 289] 135 State St., Auburn, NY.
Oct. 5, 1913.

Mr. Thomas M. Osborne.

Mr. Thomas M. Osborne.

Honorable Sir: It affords me great pleasure to write you these few lines. I really do not know how to begin to express myself as I have not got a very good education. But I hope you will understand that my motive in writing you this letter is to congratulate you for your good work. I fully realize the fact that it was no easy task for you to come down here and live here in this place for one week as you did. After hearing and seeing you in the chapel Sunday I came to my cell and got to thinking. The outcome was that I could not remember ever being touched so as I was when I left the chapel and while sitting there hearing you talk. I fully realize what a big thing you have undertaken. At one time I was under the impression that there was no such a thing as a square man, but I have changed my opinion and I am safe in saying that quite a number of other men have also changed their mind about that same thing.

Dear Sir, I'm really glad to write you these few lines. I'm not exactly sure how to start because my education isn’t the best. But I hope you understand that my reason for writing this letter is to congratulate you on your great work. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to come down here and spend a week living in this place. After hearing you speak in the chapel on Sunday, I went back to my room and started thinking. I honestly can’t remember ever being so moved as I was when I left the chapel and while I was listening to you. I truly recognize the importance of what you’ve taken on. I once thought that there was no such thing as a genuinely good person, but I've changed my mind, and I’m confident that many others have too.

********

********

Men who love their fellow man are very few. When I think of you I am reminded of a postal that I received from my brother not long ago, after him not knowing that I was in prison. When he found it out he sent me a postal and on it were these few words: “A friend is one who knows all about you and likes you just the same.” Well, Mr. Osborne, I leave here on the 20th of this month and believe me—never again for me. I have played the crooked game in every way it can be played, most every kind of crooked game there is. Now I am done. It is a fast and excitable game, but I come to[Pg 290] realize that it is not living and is bound to come to a bad end. But I want to say that prison life did not reform me, nor will it reform any man, for no man learns good in prison. My opinion is that the only way that a man can be reformed is get to his conscience, wake up the man in him. You are aware of the fact that the police make many criminals. I don’t believe there is such a thing as a hardened criminal. If the police were not so anxious to send men to prison there would be no so-called hardened criminals. I know what I am talking about. There are too many men sent to prison innocently and there will always be so-called hardened criminals until that is stopped. I done my first bit innocently. Believe me, it is a terrible thing to sit in one of those cells and know in your heart that you are there in the wrong. Well I wish I had the paper to write you more for I deem it a pleasure to write you.

Men who genuinely care about others are quite rare. When I think of you, I remember a postcard I got from my brother not long ago, before he knew I was in prison. When he found out, he sent me a postcard with these words: “A friend is someone who knows everything about you and still likes you.” Well, Mr. Osborne, I'm leaving here on the 20th of this month, and believe me—it's for good. I've played the crooked game in every way imaginable, almost every kind of shady game there is. Now I’m done. It’s a fast-paced and thrilling game, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not living and will definitely end badly. But I want to say that prison life didn’t reform me, nor will it reform anyone, because no one learns good things in prison. In my opinion, the only way a man can change is by reaching his conscience and awakening the true man inside him. You know that the police create many criminals. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a hardened criminal. If the police weren’t so eager to send people to prison, there wouldn’t be any so-called hardened criminals. I know what I’m talking about. Too many men are sent to prison innocently, and there will always be so-called hardened criminals until that stops. I did my first stretch in prison innocently. Believe me, it’s a terrible feeling to sit in one of those cells knowing deep down that you’re there by mistake. I wish I had more paper to write to you because I really enjoy writing to you.

Yours truly,
James McCabe, No. 32.—

Yours truly,
James McCabe, No. 32.—

Soon after receiving this letter and before his release, I had an interview with the writer. I found him a very frank and engaging person, a crook by profession, with most excellent ideas on the subject of Prison Reform—which was the main topic of our conversation.

Soon after getting this letter and before he was released, I had a meeting with the writer. I found him to be very open and interesting, a con artist by trade, with some great ideas about Prison Reform—which was the main topic of our discussion.

On the day of his release Jim visited me at my office; my first thought was that he had come to strike me for money, but I did him injustice. He came simply to ask my interest and help for a young man who locked in on his gallery and in whom he had become interested.

On the day he got out, Jim stopped by my office; my first thought was that he was there to ask me for money, but I was wrong about him. He came just to ask for my support and help for a young man who was caught up in his gallery and whom he had developed an interest in.

[Pg 291]“Can’t you do something for him, Tom,” he urged. “That kid’s no crook. If you can only keep him out of the city he’ll go straight. He sure will. You see him and have a talk with him, and see if you don’t think so.”

[Pg 291]“Can’t you do something for him, Tom,” he insisted. “That kid’s not a criminal. If you can just keep him out of the city, he’ll turn his life around. He definitely will. You should meet with him and talk to him, and see if you don’t believe the same.”

That was all Jim wanted of me, and at first he refused to take the small loan I pressed upon him, although the money he received from the state would not go very far in New York City. “I don’t want to take it, Tom,” he objected, “and I’ll tell you why. You’d be giving me that money thinking I was going straight. Now I’m going to try to go straight; but you’ve no idea of the difficulties. How am I going to get an honest job? The cops all know me well, they’ll follow me wherever I go. I can’t enter a theater, I can’t get on to a street car. If anything happens I’ll be one of the first men the coppers’ll be after. How much of a chance have I to get an honest job? Now, if I take your money and then didn’t go straight I should feel like the devil.”

That was all Jim wanted from me, and at first, he refused to take the small loan I offered him, even though the money he got from the state wouldn’t last long in New York City. “I don’t want to take it, Tom,” he said, “and here’s why. You’d be giving me that money thinking I’m going to straighten out. I do want to try to go straight; but you have no idea how hard it is. How am I supposed to find an honest job? The cops all know me; they’ll follow me wherever I go. I can’t go to a theater, I can’t get on a streetcar. If anything goes wrong, I’ll be one of the first guys the cops will chase after. What are my chances of landing an honest job? If I take your money and then don’t go straight, I’d feel terrible.”

“Jim,” said I, “you’ll take that money because you are going straight. I’ll bank on you.”

“Jim,” I said, “you’re going to take that money because you are going straight. I’m betting on you.”

My confidence was not misplaced. Jim went to New York and, having the luck to have a home with a good mother and a brother who is straight, Jim had time to hunt his job until he found it. About two weeks after his release Jim lunched with me in New York, and in the course of conversation remarked, “Say, Tom, don’t you[Pg 292] think there’s such a thing as an honest crook?”

My confidence was well-founded. Jim went to New York and, with the good fortune of having a supportive mom and a straight brother, he took the time to search for his job until he landed one. About two weeks after he got out, Jim had lunch with me in New York, and during our conversation, he said, “Hey, Tom, don’t you[Pg 292] think there’s such a thing as an honest crook?”

“Sure, Jim,” I answered, “you’re one.”

“Sure, Jim,” I replied, “you’re one.”

A little taken aback by this direct application, Jim said, “Well, you know what I mean. I’ll tell you a case. There was three of us pulled off a little piece of business once, and afterward one of those fellows wanted me to join with him and freeze out the other fellow. Now, that’s what I don’t call honest, do you?”

A bit surprised by this straightforward request, Jim said, “Well, you know what I mean. Let me give you an example. There were three of us involved in a small job once, and afterward, one of those guys wanted me to team up with him to cut the other guy out. Now, that’s not what I consider honest, is it?”

“I certainly do not,” I said. “And now I’ll tell you what was in my mind. I call you an honest crook, Jim, because while you’ve been a crook you have been square with your pals. Because the operations of your mind are honest, you haven’t tried to fool yourself. There is nothing the matter with your mental operations. You have been simply traveling in the wrong direction. Make up your mind to shift your course, and you’ll have no trouble going straight, because you are naturally an honest man.”

“I definitely don’t,” I said. “And now I’ll share what I was thinking. I call you an honest crook, Jim, because even though you’ve been a crook, you’ve been fair with your friends. Since your thought process is honest, you haven’t tried to deceive yourself. There’s nothing wrong with how you think. You’ve just been heading in the wrong direction. Decide to change your course, and you won’t have any trouble going straight, because you’re inherently an honest guy.”

Space forbids my going further into Jim’s interesting history, but up to the time of writing my diagnosis seems to have been correct. Jim has a good job, is going straight, and just before Christmas he said to me, “Tom, I never was so happy in my life!”

Space prevents me from delving deeper into Jim’s fascinating story, but up to the time of writing, my assessment looks to have been accurate. Jim has a solid job, is staying on the right path, and just before Christmas, he told me, “Tom, I’ve never been this happy in my life!”

How many more men like Jim are there in prison? Are they not worth saving?

How many more guys like Jim are in prison? Are they not worth saving?

Jim said in his letter, “Prison life did not reform me, nor will it reform any man.” That is[Pg 293] true; and no man will find help in prison for reforming himself until the conditions are greatly changed—until a system has been established in which a man can gain some sense of civic responsibility toward the community in which he lives. If such a sense of responsibility could be developed while in prison, would it not greatly help in a man’s conduct after his release?

Jim said in his letter, “Prison life didn’t change me, and it won’t change any man.” That is[Pg 293] true; and no man will find help in prison for changing himself until the conditions improve—until a system is put in place that allows a man to feel some sense of civic responsibility towards the community he lives in. If such a sense of responsibility could be built while in prison, wouldn’t it greatly improve a man’s behavior after he gets out?

The following is not a letter, but a typewritten statement which Grant, the Superintendent of Prison Industries, found on his desk the morning after my last day’s talk in chapel. One of the prisoners in Grant’s office, upon returning to his cell, had felt moved to write down a description of the incident. This is it.

The following is not a letter, but a typed statement that Grant, the Superintendent of Prison Industries, found on his desk the morning after my last talk in chapel. One of the prisoners in Grant’s office, after returning to his cell, felt inspired to write down a description of the incident. This is it.

Sunday, Oct. 5, 1913.

Sunday, October 5, 1913.

Truly the past week, and to-day in particular, will mark an epoch in the history of Auburn Prison, if indeed, it does not in the entire state.

Truly, the past week, and especially today, will be a significant moment in the history of Auburn Prison, if not in the entire state.

Mr. Osborne’s stay among us has awakened new thoughts and higher ideals among the men confined here than any other agency hitherto tried or thought of.

Mr. Osborne’s time with us has inspired new ideas and elevated goals among the men locked up here more than any other effort that has been attempted or considered before.

His coming as he did, precisely the same as the most lowly of malefactors, and receiving no better treatment than would be accorded any others, has awakened feelings among the majority that can hardly be credited, much less described.

His arrival, just like that of the most minor criminals, and receiving no better treatment than anyone else, has sparked feelings among the majority that are almost unbelievable, let alone easy to describe.

Those who in the past week have written articles in the various newspapers ridiculing Mr. Osborne’s experiment,[Pg 294] would have been put to shame had they been present at the chapel services this morning.

Those who wrote articles in different newspapers mocking Mr. Osborne's experiment last week[Pg 294] would have been embarrassed if they had attended the chapel services this morning.

Never in my life before have I witnessed such a scene. When the Chaplain invited Thomas Brown to the platform, the audience could hardly restrain themselves, so great was their enthusiasm. It was at least five minutes before Mr. Osborne could be heard, and during his remarks it was about all any of us could do to keep the tears back.

Never in my life have I seen anything like this before. When the Chaplain invited Thomas Brown to the stage, the audience could barely contain themselves, their excitement was that intense. It took at least five minutes before Mr. Osborne could be heard, and during his speech, it was all we could do to hold back our tears.

As he ascended the platform, garbed as the rest of the audience, minus his usual attire but with the same air of determination and force that has always characterized him, he was greeted by the Chaplain and some ladies and gentlemen from one of the churches here; and his acknowledgment of the greeting was exactly as courteous and dignified as if he had not just been through one of the most memorable experiences of his life; and one could not help seeing the man and not the clothes he wore.

As he stepped up onto the platform, dressed like everyone else in the audience, without his usual outfit but still carrying the same determination and strength that always defined him, he was welcomed by the Chaplain and some people from one of the local churches. His response to their greeting was just as polite and dignified as if he hadn't just gone through one of the most unforgettable experiences of his life. You couldn't help but see the man himself, not just the clothes he was wearing.

His remarks were of a character to cheer the downhearted and to urge to stronger endeavor for the right those who have made errors and find the path none too easy. His advice, as usual, was listened to with the greatest attention, and I have never seen an audience so wholly and unreservedly with a speaker as the boys seemed to be with him.

His comments were meant to lift the spirits of those who felt down and to encourage those who had made mistakes to strive harder for what was right, even if the journey was tough. His advice, as always, was received with great attention, and I have never seen an audience so fully engaged and supportive of a speaker as the boys were with him.

Where can you find a man who has the many interests that Mr. Osborne has, who will give up everything he has been accustomed to, and risk his health, yes, you might almost say his life—for one never knows what may occur in an institution of this kind—for the sake of those who are apparently nothing to him? We might understand it better if he were doing this for some [Pg 295]immediate member of his family, instead of for strangers and outcasts.

Where can you find a guy with so many interests like Mr. Osborne, who will give up everything he's used to, and risk his health, even his life—because you never know what could happen in a place like this—for the sake of people who don't seem to mean anything to him? It would make more sense if he were doing this for someone in his family instead of for strangers and outcasts.

********

********

Of one thing we are sure, and that is that Thomas Mott Osborne will never be forgotten by the inmates of this prison, and I firmly believe that he has been the means of inspiring love for himself in the hearts of the men here that will never die. In my own case, at least, I can speak with certainty. Although I have never spoken to the man in my life and never expect to, he has certainly inspired thoughts in my heart that never were there before; or if they were, they have been so warped and obstructed by the exigencies of my life for ten years past that I did not realize that I possessed them at all.

We're sure of one thing: Thomas Mott Osborne will never be forgotten by the inmates of this prison. I truly believe he has inspired a lasting love for himself in the hearts of the men here. In my case, I can say this with certainty. Even though I’ve never spoken to him and don’t expect to, he has definitely stirred thoughts in my heart that I never had before. Or if I did, they were so twisted and blocked by the demands of my life over the last ten years that I didn’t even realize I had them.

He is a man who is entitled to the best love of every human being that comes within the range of his influence, whether they know him personally or not. And he has won hearts to-day that nobody else on earth could.

He is a person who deserves the best love from everyone who comes into his orbit, whether they know him personally or not. And today, he has won hearts that no one else on earth could.

In closing let me repeat his last words to us this morning. I shall always remember them.

In closing, let me repeat his last words to us this morning. I’ll always remember them.

“Look not mournfully upon the past; it cannot return.

“Don’t look back on the past with sadness; it can’t come back.”

“The present is yours; improve it.

"The present is yours; make it better."

“Fear not the shadowy future; approach it with a manly heart.”

“Don’t be afraid of the uncertain future; face it with courage.”

This is as I recall it. It may possibly not be exact—however the sense is the same.

This is how I remember it. It might not be exact—but the feeling is the same.

If Mr. Osborne half realized what an influence for good his stay here had been to every single man in the place, I feel sure that he would not feel that his privations and hardships of the past week had been in vain.

If Mr. Osborne somewhat understood the positive impact his time here had on every single person in the area, I'm sure he wouldn't think that the sacrifices and challenges he faced over the past week were for nothing.

Sincerely,
E. O. I., No. 32—.

Sincerely,
E. O. I., No. 32—.

[Pg 296]Of course it may be urged with some force that such letters are not conclusive, for it can not be proved that the writers have received any permanent help; that even those, like Jim, who straighten out may get tired of a virtuous life and relapse. That is perfectly true. For instance, my lively jail friend in Cell Four, Joe, in spite of all efforts to help him upon his release, failed to make good.

[Pg 296]Of course, it's possible to argue strongly that such letters aren't definitive, since there's no proof that the writers have received any lasting help; even those, like Jim, who get back on track might eventually tire of living honestly and fall back into old habits. That's absolutely true. For example, my energetic jail buddy in Cell Four, Joe, despite all the support he received upon his release, couldn't make it work.

But such an argument misses the point. The important thing is that these men have good in them—a statement that can not be made too often. It is true that they are bad—in spots. But they are also good—in spots. And with a right system the good could be developed so as to help in driving out the bad. If Joe had received proper training in prison he would have gone straight after he got out. What I am just now trying to prove is the existence of good—and a large measure of it.

But that argument misses the point. The important thing is that these men have goodness in them—a fact that can’t be emphasized enough. It’s true that they have flaws—in some areas. But they also have virtues—in other areas. With the right approach, the good could be nurtured to help eliminate the bad. If Joe had gotten proper training in prison, he would have stayed on the right track after getting out. What I'm trying to demonstrate is the presence of goodness—and a significant amount of it.

Here, for instance, is a letter from a man who has failed to go straight since his release.

Here’s a letter from a man who hasn’t been able to stay on the right path since his release.

135 State St., Auburn, N. Y.,
Sunday, Oct. 19, 1913.

135 State St., Auburn, NY,
Sunday, Oct. 19, 1913.

Hon. Thomas Mott Osborne, Auburn, N. Y.

Hon. Thomas Mott Osborne, Auburn, NY.

Dear Sir: As this is the last letter yours truly will ever write in a prison cell (that is, I hope to God and his blessed and holy Mother it is the last), I don’t know of a person other than T. M. Osborne I would rather write to. I don’t know of a single case ever recorded in[Pg 297] the U. S. if not in the world where fourteen hundred men left a meeting house—men, understand, in public life who would not stop at anything—those same men left that chapel on Oct. 5 crying like babies! And I, being prison steam-fitter here, I heard some very good stories of Mr. Osborne—going around to the different shops Monday morning. It only shows that with a little kindness shown toward these same men that you could do most anything with them, and make better men of them in the future. Before God, I honestly swear and believe that Mr. Osborne could have taken that same bunch of men from Auburn Prison that Sunday, and put them on the road to work and 99 per cent. would have made good—and that’s a very good percentage. I have seen a good deal of this country—east, west, north and south—but believe me Oct. 5 beats everything. It is a scene which I shall always remember. Well, Mr. Osborne, I expected to have a little talk with you on Prison Reform but you have been very busy, so if I get a chance some time I’ll drop in and see you. I leave the Hotel Rattigan to-morrow morning a wiser and better man.

Dear Sir: As this is the last letter I will ever write from a prison cell (at least, I hope to God and his blessed, holy Mother it is the last), I can’t think of anyone other than T. M. Osborne I would rather write to. I don’t know of a single case ever recorded in[Pg 297] the U. S., if not in the world, where fourteen hundred men left a meeting house—men, mind you, in public life who would not stop at anything—those same men left that chapel on Oct. 5 crying like babies! And I, being the steam-fitter here at the prison, heard some really good stories about Mr. Osborne going around to the different shops Monday morning. It just shows that with a little kindness toward these men, you could do just about anything with them and help them become better men in the future. Before God, I honestly swear and believe that Mr. Osborne could have taken that same group of men from Auburn Prison that Sunday, put them to work, and 99 percent would have turned things around—and that’s a very good percentage. I’ve seen a lot of this country—east, west, north, and south—but believe me, Oct. 5 stands out above everything. It’s a scene I will always remember. Well, Mr. Osborne, I had hoped to have a little talk with you about Prison Reform, but you’ve been very busy, so if I get the chance sometime, I’ll drop in and see you. I’m leaving the Hotel Rattigan tomorrow morning a wiser and better man.

Believe me, sir, you have the love and respect of every man behind these prison walls.

Believe me, sir, you have the love and respect of every man behind these prison walls.

With God’s blessing, a long life and a happy one to you, dear sir.

With God's blessing, I wish you a long and happy life, dear sir.

I beg to remain yours truly,

Best regards,

Tom Curran, Steamfitter, Auburn Prison.

Tom Curran, Steamfitter, Auburn Prison.

I am going to work Tuesday morning at my trade in Syracuse.

I’m going to work Tuesday morning at my job in Syracuse.

The writer, Curran is not his real name, also refused to accept a loan of money which I [Pg 298]offered to him so that he could fit himself out with the tools of his trade. He did not get the job in Syracuse, but drifted into another state to a city where, quite by chance three months later, I ran across him in the county jail. The trouble with Tom was the same as in the case of so many others. Perfectly straight when sober, he could not help stealing when drunk, and he hadn’t enough strength of mind to keep out of saloons. How could he have? What had the prison done to aid him in developing strength of character?

The writer, Curran isn’t his real name, also turned down a loan of money which I [Pg 298] offered him so he could get the tools for his trade. He didn’t get the job in Syracuse, but ended up in another state, and three months later, I happened to run into him in the county jail. Tom’s issue was the same as so many others. He was totally fine when sober, but he couldn't help stealing when drunk, and he didn’t have the willpower to avoid saloons. How could he? What had prison done to help him build strength of character?

The following letter is a very characteristic one.

The following letter is quite typical.

Auburn, N. Y., October 6, 1913.

Auburn, NY, Oct 6, 1913.

Mr. Thomas M. Osborne.

Mr. Thomas M. Osborne.

Dear Sir: I trust you will pardon the liberty I take in writing you. But I wish to thank you for the interest you have taken in the men here. I know there are hundreds of people who have our interests at heart, but they imagine we are a sort of strange animal, and treat us as such. You know if you put a dog in a cage for five or ten years, he will become unfit as a pet. Just so with us, we enter here intending to become better men, but the treatment we receive from some of those who are in immediate charge of us, causes us to become embittered at the world in general.

Dear Sir: I hope you’ll excuse me for reaching out to you. I want to thank you for the concern you have for the men here. I know there are many people who care about us, but they tend to view us as something odd and treat us accordingly. It's like if you keep a dog in a cage for five or ten years, it will no longer be fit as a pet. The same goes for us; we come here wanting to improve ourselves, but the way we are treated by some of those in charge makes us resentful towards the world in general.

You have done more good in the past few days than any other man or woman interested in Prison Reform. You was not ashamed to make yourself one of us (if only for a week); you lived as we live, ate what we ate, and felt the iron hand of discipline. You came among us[Pg 299] as man to man and I heartily thank you for it. When you stood in the chapel last Sunday, and talked to us like a father with tears in your eyes and hardly able to speak, I prayed as I never prayed before, and asked God to care for you and watch over you in your coming struggle to better conditions here. I know you will meet with opposition both here and outside. By that I do not mean the Warden, as he has proven himself to be a just man in every respect. I mean those who are in immediate charge of us. Some of them are not in accord with your project, and showed their disapproval by reprimanding us for greeting you as we did last Sunday. But they are not to blame in one sense, for they have been here so long their feelings have become stagnated and any new movement appears to them an intruder. They may be in a position to prevent us from showing our feelings physically, but, thank God, they cannot control us mentally. And just so long as I can think, so long will I think of you as our friend.

You have done more good in the last few days than anyone else involved in Prison Reform. You weren't ashamed to be one of us (even if just for a week); you lived like we do, ate what we ate, and felt the strict discipline. You came among us[Pg 299] as equals, and I sincerely thank you for it. When you stood in the chapel last Sunday and spoke to us like a father, with tears in your eyes and struggling to speak, I prayed harder than I ever have before, asking God to take care of you and watch over you in your upcoming efforts to improve conditions here. I know you will face opposition both here and outside. I’m not referring to the Warden, as he has shown himself to be a fair man in every way. I mean those who are in charge of us. Some of them disagree with your project and showed their disapproval by scolding us for greeting you the way we did last Sunday. But they’re not entirely to blame; they’ve been here so long that their feelings have become stagnant, and any new ideas seem like intruders to them. They may be able to stop us from expressing our feelings physically, but thank God, they can’t control our thoughts. As long as I can think, I will always think of you as our friend.

You have caused the men here to see things in a different light, and you can be assured of their utmost loyalty; for I do not believe there is a man here who would not call you his friend. And in closing I wish to thank Warden Rattigan and Supt. Riley for their hearty support of you, and hope to God I may be able some day to thank you in person. I am now and always,

You’ve made the men here view things differently, and you can count on their complete loyalty; I believe there isn't a single person here who wouldn't consider you a friend. In closing, I want to thank Warden Rattigan and Supt. Riley for their strong support of you, and I hope I can thank you in person someday. I am now and always,

Loyally yours,
Frank Miller, No. 32—, Auburn Prison.

Best regards,
Frank Miller, No. 32—, Auburn Prison.

Certain fundamental facts have never been more clearly expressed than in the first paragraph of that letter. People “imagine we are a sort of[Pg 300] strange animal, and treat us as such.” The prisoners “enter here intending to become better men,” but the treatment they receive “causes us to become embittered at the world in general.”

Certain fundamental facts have never been more clearly expressed than in the first paragraph of that letter. People “imagine we are a sort of[Pg 300] strange animal, and treat us as such.” The prisoners “come here wanting to become better people,” but the treatment they receive “makes us bitter towards the world in general.”

There is the Prison Question in a nutshell.

There it is, the Prison Question in a nutshell.

Perhaps it will be remembered that each evening at 6:40, while in my cell, I heard a violin played with rare feeling. Two weeks after my visit ended I made the acquaintance of the player—a young man who received me with rather painful embarrassment. He had an air of constraint and reticence as I spoke of his probable intention to make use of his talent after leaving prison. He told me that he was a graduate of Elmira, and also of the United States navy. I left him with the feeling that our interview had not been very much of a success. I was therefore the more surprised to receive the following letter a few days afterward.

Perhaps it will be remembered that every evening at 6:40, while in my cell, I heard a violin played with incredible emotion. Two weeks after my visit ended, I met the player—a young man who welcomed me with noticeable discomfort. He seemed tense and reserved as I mentioned his likely plans to use his talent after leaving prison. He told me that he graduated from Elmira and also from the United States Navy. I left him feeling that our meeting hadn’t gone very well. So, I was even more surprised to receive the following letter a few days later.

135 State St., Auburn, N. Y.,
Oct. 17, 1913.

135 State St., Auburn, NY,
Oct. 17, 1913.

Hon. Thos. M. Osborne, Auburn, N. Y.

Hon. Thos. M. Osborne, Auburn, NY.

Dear Sir: Ever since Tuesday I have been trying to muster up sufficient courage to write you. After you left and I had finally regained control of myself it occurred to me that I had forgotten to ask you inside; but coming as you did I was completely taken by surprise and forgot everything, for which I hope you will pardon me.

Dear Sir: Ever since Tuesday, I’ve been trying to work up the courage to write to you. After you left and I finally got a grip on myself, it dawned on me that I forgot to invite you in; but since you arrived unexpectedly, I was totally caught off guard and forgot everything, for which I hope you’ll forgive me.

[Pg 301]Your unexpected visit, brief as it was, furnished me much food for thought. I can not truthfully say that I was not flattered by your kind approbation—but it has not turned my head; to the contrary, it has caused me to think a bit harder than I ever have before. As you undoubtedly know by your brief experience here, the subject which occupies a man’s mind mostly is reflection; and while a large amount of my time has been tempered with reflection, up until now it had never led me into this particular channel.

[Pg 301]Your unexpected visit, although short, gave me a lot to think about. I can't honestly say I wasn't flattered by your kind words—but it hasn't gone to my head; instead, it's made me think more deeply than ever before. As you probably know from your brief time here, what often occupies a person’s mind is reflection; and while I've spent a good deal of time reflecting, until now it has never guided me down this particular path.

I have made various plans as to the course I shall pursue in regaining all that I have lost, when I shall have been released. But until now I had never considered music as the medium to accomplishing this end. Perhaps I am overestimating my ability—I probably am—but at least I mean to attempt it. When I was sentenced to Elmira I cursed the day that I ever learned to play; after I had been there a while I began to miss my violin even more than the cigarettes of which I was likewise deprived. As the time progressed, and I was not getting any nearer home, through non-compliance with the rules, I finally banished music from my mind and everything connected with it; and from then on I seemed to get on better.

I’ve made different plans for how I’ll go about getting back everything I’ve lost once I’m released. But until now, I hadn’t thought of music as a way to achieve that. Maybe I’m overestimating my ability—I probably am—but I’m definitely going to try. When I was sent to Elmira, I regretted the day I ever learned to play; after being there for a while, I started to miss my violin even more than the cigarettes I couldn’t have. As time went on, and I wasn't getting any closer to home because I wasn't following the rules, I finally pushed music out of my mind and everything related to it; after that, I seemed to cope better.

The period I was in the navy was too strenuous to admit of anything but adapting myself to the life; with the exception of dodging ex-convicts with which the navy is amply supplied.

The time I spent in the navy was too demanding to allow for anything other than adjusting to that lifestyle, except for avoiding ex-convicts, of which the navy has plenty.

After I found myself beached and began life again, I had completely forgotten the fact that I had ever played unless some one who knew me of old questioned me in this regard.

After I found myself stranded and started my life over, I completely forgot that I had ever played, unless someone from my past asked me about it.

It was not until I came here that I had the desire[Pg 302] to play at all, and never while here has that desire framed into a resolve until now. Were I never to see you again I will always remember you, your kindness has awakened long buried impulses.

It wasn't until I got here that I felt the urge[Pg 302] to play at all, and until now, that urge never turned into a determination. If I never see you again, I'll always remember you; your kindness has revived long-dormant feelings.

I have gone into this thing further than I intended; my intention was to thank you for your kindness in coming to see me. I little thought when you came into the P. K.’s office to have your record taken, the first day of your self-imposed term, that I should be in your thoughts even for a little while. I knew you were over me when I commenced to play, but never dreamed or hoped that it would have any more than a passing effect upon you. And when I passed you at different times I avoided you, as I did not think there was anything about me which would attract your interest, knowing as I do how little consideration I deserve from anyone.

I've gone into this more than I meant to; I really just wanted to thank you for your kindness in coming to see me. I never imagined that when you walked into the P. K.’s office to get your record taken, on your first day of your self-imposed term, I would even cross your mind for a moment. I knew you were watching when I started to play, but I never thought or hoped it would mean anything more than a brief impression on you. And when I passed by you at various times, I avoided you because I didn’t think there was anything about me that would catch your interest, especially knowing how little I deserve from anyone.

Your kindness will never be forgotten. Nothing can happen during the remainder of my term which will afford me greater happiness. A happiness accompanied with a deep regret for all that I have neglected and opportunities unaccepted, but for which I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Your kindness will never be forgotten. Nothing can happen during the rest of my term that will bring me greater happiness. A happiness that comes with a deep regret for everything I've neglected and the opportunities I missed, but for which I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Very respectfully,
Charles F. Abbott (P. K.’s Clerk),
Auburn Prison, October 17, 1913.

Respectfully,
Charles F. Abbott (P. K.’s Clerk),
Auburn Prison, October 17, 1913.

I think most schools and colleges might be successfully challenged to show a letter better expressed or showing a finer spirit of manliness. In fact one finds in all these letters, and in many others not included here, a peculiar note of clearness; it is to be found also in the talk of many[Pg 303] of these men, after you have succeeded in gaining their confidence; a rare note of sincerity and strength—as if the unimportant hypocrisies of life had been burned away in their bitter experiences.

I believe most schools and colleges would be hard-pressed to present a letter that is expressed better or reflects a greater sense of manliness. In fact, you can find in all these letters, as well as in many others not included here, a distinct clarity; this clarity is also evident in the conversations of many[Pg 303] of these men, once you've gained their trust; there's a rare honesty and strength—as if the trivial hypocrisies of life have been stripped away through their challenging experiences.

In the month of December, 1913, immediately upon my return from a six weeks’ business trip to Europe, I visited my friends at the prison. Then I found that my shopmate, Jack Bell, had been transferred to Clinton Prison on account of his health. A day or two later I received the following acknowledgment of some postcards I had sent him.

In December 1913, right after I got back from a six-week business trip to Europe, I went to see my friends at the prison. That’s when I learned that my shopmate, Jack Bell, had been moved to Clinton Prison because of his health. A day or two later, I got this acknowledgment for some postcards I had sent him.

Dannemora, New York, Sunday, Dec. 14, 1913.

Dannemora, New York, Sunday, Dec. 14, 1913.

The Hon. Thomas Mott Osborne.

Hon. Thomas Mott Osborne.

Dear friend: A line to try and explain to you the way I am longing to again have the pleasure of seeing and speaking to you. After I received your cards, which were very pretty, it is only necessary for me to say here that I appreciated your loving kindness of thinking to send them. By this time no doubt you know of my transfer from Auburn to Dannemora which I thought would not be. But now that it has, I am pleased to say all is well, and find this place better than my previous home; see! There is only one thing I regret, and that is I’ll not have as many opportunities of seeing and talking with you. For in the short time spent in your company can only say I miss your presence more and more. If in the future you will write me a line or so, such will cheer[Pg 304] me in my moments of thought. Would be pleased to hear of your trip abroad. I hope you had a more pleasanter time than while at Auburn. I can not say in this letter the way I appreciated your cards. I sat for some time looking at them and thinking. I must say in closing that you have my sincere wishes for a merry Christmas, as this is the last letter till after it has passed. May you enjoy it and many to come. Give Jack my love and tell him to be good.

Dear friend, I just wanted to write a quick note to express how much I'm longing to see and talk to you again. I appreciated the beautiful cards you sent; it really meant a lot to me that you thought of me. By now, you probably know about my transfer from Auburn to Dannemora, which I didn't expect. However, I'm happy to say that everything is going well here, and I find this place even better than my previous home. The only thing I regret is that I won't have as many chances to see and talk with you. I really miss your presence more and more with each passing day. If you could write me a quick note in the future, it would brighten my thoughts. I would love to hear about your trip abroad and hope you had a more enjoyable time than you did in Auburn. I can't express enough how much I appreciated your cards; I spent some time just looking at them and thinking. As this will be my last letter before Christmas, I want to wish you a very merry Christmas. I hope you enjoy it and have many more wonderful ones to come. Please give my love to Jack and remind him to be good. Best, [Your Name]

Believe me to be sincerely yours,
John J. Bell.

Know that I am genuinely yours,
John J. Bell.

Once I heard Bell described as “just an ordinary fellow who likes to appear tough.” Reading between the lines of his letter I think one can discern the fine instincts of a gentleman. I thought I recognized such when I met him in the basket-shop; this letter and others I have had from him confirm that belief.

Once, I heard Bell referred to as “just an average guy who likes to seem tough.” If you read between the lines of his letter, you can sense the true instincts of a gentleman. I thought I saw that when I met him in the basket shop; this letter and others I’ve received from him reinforce that belief.

As I think my narrative must have shown, there is a very soft spot in my heart for my comrades of the dark cells. It has been a source of deep regret to me that Joe, Number Four, did not make good on his release; and I hope that the others will have stronger purposes and better results.

As I believe my story has shown, I have a real soft spot for my fellow inmates. It’s been a source of deep regret for me that Joe, Number Four, didn’t succeed after his release; and I hope that the others will have clearer goals and better outcomes.

Perhaps there may be some interest in the fate of the poor lad in Cell Two, who tipped over his water, and whose mental and physical sufferings added so much to my own distress during[Pg 305] that horrible night. Upon his release the next day he went back to the hospital, where he remained for some time. In the month of November, while I was in Europe, he wrote me the following letter.

Perhaps there might be some curiosity about what happened to the poor guy in Cell Two, who spilled his water, and whose mental and physical struggles made my own distress even worse during[Pg 305] that terrible night. When he was released the next day, he returned to the hospital, where he stayed for a while. In November, while I was in Europe, he wrote me this letter.

135 State St., Auburn, N. Y.,
Monday, Nov. 16, 1913.

135 State St., Auburn, NY,
Monday, Nov. 16, 1913.

My dear Friend, “Number One”:

Hey there, "Number One":

How little those words convey, and again how much. That I may write them to you, in the consciousness that they mean all that the words “dear friend” imply, is a greater happiness than I dared hope for. I have been in “Lunnon” with you for the past two weeks. That means, I have been allowing myself the daily luxury of thinking of you, and now the rare one of writing.

How little those words express, and yet how much. The fact that I can write them to you, knowing they mean everything that “dear friend” suggests, is a deeper happiness than I ever expected. I’ve been in “London” with you for the past two weeks. That means I’ve been indulging in the daily pleasure of thinking about you, and now the rare joy of writing.

I presume you are wondering if I have been to the bungaloo since your departure. No, sir! My promise will hold good. In the past I have formed good resolutions, not one but many. Most of them died in their infancy; others lived long enough to make me unhappy. This time, though, circumstances are different, and I sincerely hope that confidence placed in me will not have been wasted.

I assume you’re curious if I’ve been to the bungalow since you left. No way! I’ll keep my promise. In the past, I’ve made good resolutions—lots of them. Most didn’t last long; some stuck around just long enough to make me unhappy. But this time, things are different, and I genuinely hope that the trust you’ve put in me won’t be misplaced.

Number One, did you ever have the blues—real, dark, deep indigo, bluey blues? I do frequently, and the cause I attribute to my ear. There is a continual buzzing, with short, shooting pains; and the doctors have informed me there is no cure. I receive a syringe of twenty-five per cent. alcohol daily, that gives relief for the time being. Well, Thanksgiving is near at hand; so I ought to be[Pg 306] thankful that my other ear is not performing like a motor in need of oil. Believe me, I am.

Number One, have you ever felt really down—like, deep indigo, sad blues? I do pretty often, and I think it’s because of my ear. There’s this constant buzzing, along with sharp, shooting pains; and the doctors have told me there’s no cure. I get a shot of twenty-five percent alcohol every day, which helps for a little while. Well, Thanksgiving is coming up, so I should be[Pg 306] grateful that my other ear isn’t acting like a motor that needs oil. Trust me, I really am.

Mr. Peacock called Sunday (8th) and we had an agreeable talk. He seemed a very pleasant gentleman, and warned me to walk a chalk line, so you see I dare not go to jail. As you once upon a time were in prison, to a certain extent, you realize what pleasures a visit brings. I appreciate yours, Mr. P.’s, and Mr. Rattigan’s kindness very much.

Mr. Peacock called on Sunday (8th) and we had a nice chat. He seemed like a really pleasant guy and warned me to stay on the straight and narrow, so you can see I can’t afford to go to jail. Since you were in prison at one point, you know what a visit can mean. I really appreciate the kindness from you, Mr. P., and Mr. Rattigan.

********

********

I know all the boys would wish to be remembered if they knew I were writing. I didn’t tell them for that would mean fifty sheets of paper, and I hadn’t the nerve to ask Mr. R. for that. But I will say this: that we all want to hear, see, and talk to our own Tom Brown, even if he is an ex-convict. Don’t let our English cousins keep you over there too long.

I know all the guys would want to be remembered if they knew I was writing this. I didn’t tell them because that would mean needing fifty sheets of paper, and I didn’t have the courage to ask Mr. R. for that. But I will say this: we all want to hear from, see, and talk to our own Tom Brown, even if he’s an ex-con. Don’t let our English friends keep you over there too long.

Wishing you the best of everything, I am, anxiously awaiting a letter, your Jail Friend Number Two—or

Wishing you all the best, I am anxiously waiting for a letter, your Jail Friend Number Two—or

Edward R. Davis, No. 32—.

Edward R. Davis, No. 32—.

Is it merely prejudice that makes me think that letter an exceptionally charming one? Has that boy no good in him worth developing?

Is it just my bias that makes me think that letter is particularly charming? Does that boy have no good in him that’s worth nurturing?

These letters are enough, I believe, to prove my point. I could give many more, including those from Dickinson who, united with his wife and children, is working honestly and happily at his trade, earning money to pay his obligations and justifying the Chaplain’s faith in his character.[Pg 307] But there is not space for all the letters, so I have selected only those which seem to show most clearly what they all show—the good that is in the hearts of all men, even those who have seemed to be most evil; the wonderful possibilities which lie stored up, five tiers high, in our prisons.

These letters are enough, I think, to make my point. I could share many more, including those from Dickinson, who, along with his wife and kids, is working hard and happily at his job, earning money to meet his obligations and validating the Chaplain’s trust in his character.[Pg 307] But there isn’t enough space for all the letters, so I’ve chosen only those that clearly illustrate what they all convey—the goodness that exists in everyone, even those who may seem the most wicked; the amazing potential that is stacked up, five levels high, in our prisons.

Room must be made, however, for one short missive which I found on my desk the Sunday I came out of prison. It was anonymous and came from New York City. It reads as follows.

Room must be made, though, for a brief note I found on my desk the Sunday after I got out of prison. It was anonymous and sent from New York City. It says the following.

Damn Fool! Pity you are not in for twenty years.

Damn fool! Too bad you’re not getting the full twenty years.

The postmark is that of the substation in the city which is nearest to a certain political headquarters on Fourteenth Street.

The postmark is from the substation in the city closest to a certain political headquarters on Fourteenth Street.

Is there any possible connection between these two facts? Perish the thought!

Is there any possible connection between these two facts? No way!

One more before closing this bundle of letters. In the first chapter reference was made to a friend to whom I first mentioned my plan of going to prison. Soon after that incident I received a letter from him enclosing one coming from an imaginary Bill Jones to the imaginary Tom Brown. Its cleverness, its wisdom, its underlying pathos, its witty characterization of social conditions and their relation to the Prison Problem make it a real contribution to the discussion.

One more before wrapping up this collection of letters. In the first chapter, I mentioned a friend to whom I first shared my plan to go to prison. Shortly after that, I got a letter from him that included one from an imaginary Bill Jones to the imaginary Tom Brown. Its cleverness, wisdom, underlying emotion, and witty take on social conditions and their connection to the Prison Problem make it a meaningful addition to the conversation.

[Pg 308]Oct. 9, 1913.

Oct. 9, 1913.

Hon. T. M. Osborne, Auburn, N. Y.

Hon. T. M. Osborne, Auburn, NY.

My dear Friend: Enclosed you will please find a note for a very dear friend of mine, Tom Brown by name, who was recently released from Auburn Prison. Brown is a perfectly good fellow, although you wouldn’t believe so if you were to judge him by his prison record alone; but the truth of the matter is that he is a party of decided views, possessing an individuality of his own; and being of this type he was bound to bump into things while on the inside looking out.

My dear Friend: Enclosed you will find a note for a very dear friend of mine, Tom Brown, who was recently released from Auburn Prison. Brown is actually a great guy, although you might not think so if you only looked at his prison record. The truth is, he has strong opinions and a unique personality, and being that type, he was bound to run into trouble while he was locked up.

Hand him this note, do what you can for him, and believe me as ever,

Hand him this note, do what you can for him, and trust me as always,

Yours most sincerely,
W—— N. R——.

Yours sincerely,
W—— N. R——.

Enclosed in this letter was the following.

Enclosed in this letter was the following.

Oct. 9, 1913.

Oct. 9, 1913.

Thomas Brown, Esq.,
Auburn, N. Y.

Thomas Brown, Esq.,
Auburn, NY

Dear Tom:

Hey Tom:

I note by the papers that you have served your bit and are now out again digging around for your own meal ticket.

I see in the news that you've completed your time and are now out looking for your own way to earn a living.

I also note from the same informative sources, that following your usual proclivity for action, you started something while in the hash foundry, and consequently got a fine run for your money; the result being that you were shook down for your large and munificent earnings when discharged, and turned loose on a warmhearted world without any change in your jeans. But[Pg 309] why worry? You’ve got a good and lucrative trade now, learned at the expense of the state of New York; and you know as well as I do that a good clever basket and broom maker, besides becoming a competitor of the unhappy blind, who are wont to follow this trade, can also earn as much as one dollar per day weaving waste-paper baskets for the masses.

I also notice from the same informative sources that, true to your usual love for action, you started something while at the hash foundry, and as a result, you got a great return for your efforts; this ended with you being shortchanged for your significant earnings when you were let go, and you were sent off into a warmhearted world without any money in your pockets. But[Pg 309] why stress? You’ve got a solid and profitable trade now, learned at the expense of the state of New York; and you know as well as I do that a skilled basket and broom maker, besides competing with the unfortunate blind who often pursue this trade, can also make as much as a dollar a day weaving waste-paper baskets for the public.

I also note that a guy by the name of Osborne interviewed you after your release, and that you immediately put up a howl about your not liking the basic principles which call such joints as the one which you just quitted into existence; and that as per usual the foresighted and profound-thinking editorial writers on several of the big New York joy-sheets, which are published as accessories to the Sunday comic supplements, immediately broke into song and wanted to know what in hell you expected such places to be.

I also noticed that a guy named Osborne interviewed you after you got out, and you quickly complained about not liking the basic principles that create places like the one you just left. As usual, the insightful and deep-thinking editorial writers for several of the major New York tabloids, which are published alongside the Sunday comic supplements, immediately chimed in and wanted to know what on earth you expected those places to be.

But don’t mind these newspaper stiffs, Tom. One discovers on coming in personal contact with them that, as a rule, their writings are all based on inexperience and the writers may be classified as belonging to the same species as Balaam’s ass. So forget them.

But don’t worry about these newspaper guys, Tom. When you meet them in person, you realize that, for the most part, their writing comes from a lack of experience, and you could say they belong to the same category as Balaam’s donkey. So just ignore them.

I know this Osborne party personally; and take it from me that if he had been born and brought up in the neighborhood of the gas-house he’d sure have been some rough-neck. He is full of pep and actually thinks for himself. He also has some peculiar ideas relative to the rights and duties of humanity, and your experiences truthfully related to him will probably bring results.

I know this Osborne party personally, and believe me, if he had grown up around the gas station, he would definitely be a tough guy. He’s full of energy and really thinks for himself. He also has some unusual thoughts about human rights and responsibilities, and sharing your honest experiences with him will likely lead to some interesting outcomes.

This Osborne guy is no novice in prison dope, and for years has been beefing about society throwing away its so-called “waste material,” when it might just as[Pg 310] well be turned into valuable by-products by an intelligent application of the laws of synthetic social chemistry.

This Osborne guy is no rookie when it comes to prison drugs, and for years he's been complaining about how society discards what it calls "waste material," when it could be transformed into valuable by-products through a smart use of the principles of social chemistry.

It’s his dope that if some Dutch guy can beat it into some big industrial joint, say like those of the United States Steel Company or the Standard Oil, and by an intelligent application of the laws of nature change waste material into valuable by-products and big dividends, that it is up to society to experiment a little with its social junk pile and see what a little of the right kind of chemistry will do to the waste material to be found therein.

It’s his belief that if some Dutch guy can figure out how to turn waste into profit in big industrial companies like United States Steel or Standard Oil, then society should also try to experiment with its social issues and see what the right approach can do with the problems it has.

I can distinctly remember when the big blast furnaces around this man’s town were cussed right along for dumping slag and cinders into the local river as waste material. The aborigines and other natives hereabouts used to form committees to call on our old college friend, Andy Carnegie, and tell him about it. Andy, of course, felt badly, but used to come back with a “What’s biting you people, anyway? Nobody can eat this slag, can they?” He had to put his waste somewhere, so why not use the rivers? Along about this time, however, in blows a Dutch boy named Schwab, he studies the question of slag and other waste material and its utilization; and now said slag is converted into high grade cement, price, $15 per ton, f. o. b. cars, Pittsburgh, Pa.

I can clearly remember when the huge blast furnaces in this guy's town were often criticized for dumping slag and ash into the local river as waste. The local Indigenous people and other residents used to form committees to call on our old college friend, Andy Carnegie, to talk about it. Andy, of course, felt bad, but would usually respond with, “What’s bothering you people, anyway? Nobody can eat this slag, can they?” He had to dispose of his waste somehow, so why not use the rivers? Around this time, however, a Dutch guy named Schwab came in and studied the issue of slag and other waste materials and how to use them; now that slag is turned into high-quality cement, priced at $15 per ton, f.o.b. cars, Pittsburgh, Pa.

Ditto the juice from the oil refineries which polluted the rivers when I was a kid. At present writing this former waste material that used to wring hectic curses from all the river water-users from Pittsburgh to Cairo is changed into thirty-two separate compounds; and yet some people actually think that John D. stole his coin when the truth of the matter is that he simply hired[Pg 311] a guy to study out plans for the utilization of waste and then beat the other stiffs to it before they were next.

Ditto the waste from the oil refineries that polluted the rivers when I was a kid. As I write this, that former waste, which used to draw angry complaints from all the river water users from Pittsburgh to Cairo, has been transformed into thirty-two different compounds. Yet some people genuinely believe that John D. stole his money, when the reality is that he just hired[Pg 311] someone to come up with plans for using waste and then outpaced everyone else before they could catch up.

Same way with the slaughter houses. When Charley Murphy was wiping his beezer on the bar towel and asking, “Wot’ll youse guys have next?” most every town had an unlovely spot known as the slaughter-house district, and property was valued in an increasing ratio based on its distance therefrom. Because why? Foul-smelling waste. But along comes P. Armour, Esq., studies the waste question and says to the slaughter-house stiffs, “Gimme the leavings and other things you throw away and I’ll not only put Chicago on the map, but I’ll likewise build one of the loveliest trusts that ever allowed a fourth-rate lawyer to bust into public life by the attacking of the same.”

The same goes for the slaughterhouses. When Charley Murphy was wiping his nose on the bar towel and asking, “What do you guys want next?” almost every town had an unattractive area known as the slaughterhouse district, and property values went up the further you got from it. Why? Because of the nasty-smelling waste. But then P. Armour, Esq. comes along, looks into the waste issue and tells the slaughterhouse workers, “Give me the leftovers and other stuff you throw away, and I’ll not only put Chicago on the map, but I’ll also create one of the best trusts that ever allowed a mediocre lawyer to break into public life by attacking the same.”

Well, that’s what’s wrong with this Osborne party. While he lets other ginks browse around the waste-heaps of the mills and factories seeing what can be done with their junk, he pokes around in the social waste-heap trying to find out if its contents can’t be converted into something useful. One might call him a social engineer; though as a rule men of original and new ideas are usually called nuts. But be that as it may, I note that Stevenson, Bell, Morse, Edison, and a whole list of folks who have done useful things, were at one time classed as being a bit odd but harmless.

Well, that’s what’s wrong with this Osborne party. While he lets other guys check out the scrap from the mills and factories to see what can be done with their junk, he digs around in the social junk pile trying to figure out if anything in there can be turned into something useful. One could call him a social engineer; although usually, people with original and new ideas are seen as a bit crazy. But whatever the case, I’ve noticed that Stevenson, Bell, Morse, Edison, and a whole list of people who have created useful things were once considered a little strange but harmless.

As there are no personal dividends in the way of kale coming to any one who tries to convert the social waste-heap into something useful, the average stiff can’t understand why a guy with a bean on him like Osborne should want to waste his good time monkeying with it, when he[Pg 312] might be more socially useful by inventing a new tango step.

As there are no personal benefits for anyone trying to turn the social waste into something useful, the average person can’t understand why someone like Osborne would want to waste his time messing with it when he[Pg 312] could be more socially valuable by inventing a new dance move.

You see, Tom, society is so constituted at present that it can’t understand why any man should want to do something that will bring him no financial returns; and yet this self-same society, that does all of its reasoning on a dollar and cents basis, can’t understand why some poor stiff interred in a penal institution should register a kick against being compelled to work five, ten, or fifteen years for nothing.

You see, Tom, society today is set up in such a way that it can't understand why anyone would want to do something that won't earn them any money; yet this same society, which thinks everything in terms of dollars and cents, can't grasp why some poor guy locked up in prison would complain about being forced to work for five, ten, or fifteen years without pay.

Society also doesn’t seem to realize that it constitutes and creates its own temptation—to wit, when a gink sizes up the class of stiffs big cities like New York and elsewhere pick up to run their public business, and the shake-downs they stand for from their own duly chosen and elected grafters, the little gink feels it to be his almost bounden duty to stock up a flossy silver quarry and lead them to it.

Society also doesn’t seem to understand that it creates its own temptation—specifically, when a guy checks out the kind of losers that big cities like New York and others hire to manage their public affairs, and the scandals they represent from their own chosen and elected crooks, the average guy feels it's almost his duty to gather a flashy crew and guide them to it.

Of course there have been many changes in prison conditions since this Osborne party got fussing around, both inside and out, but nevertheless there is still room for more. Speaking of old conditions, I am personally acquainted with a party who could throw a piece of Irish confetti up in the air, and who, if he didn’t duck, would get it on his conk and be reminded of old times, who can most distinctly remember when the social unit who happened to land in the waste heap lost his hair, manhood, and faith in man and God Almighty, all inside of twenty-four hours.

Of course, there have been many changes in prison conditions since this Osborne group started making a fuss, both inside and outside, but there's still room for improvement. Speaking of old conditions, I know someone who could toss a piece of Irish confetti into the air, and if he didn’t duck, it would land on his nose and remind him of the past. He can clearly recall when someone who ended up in the garbage heap lost their hair, manhood, and faith in humanity and God, all within twenty-four hours.

This was in the days of zebra clothing, short hair, the lock-step, contract labor, and all around soul-murder.

This was back in the days of zebra prints, short hair, marching in sync, contract work, and total soul-crushing.

I know, however, that there have been many changes[Pg 313] since then; so that although your experience, while proving that the great and assinine waste of good material is still going on in the social mill, and therefore most heart-stirring, will never carry with it the soul-blighting memories of one who for fourteen years marched the lock-step.

I know, though, that a lot has changed[Pg 313] since then; so even though your experience shows that the enormous and foolish waste of valuable resources is still happening in society, which is truly heartbreaking, it won't ever bring back the soul-crushing memories of someone who spent fourteen years stuck in that rigid routine.

Of course, now that you are free, you will be in for your knocks as an ex-con and all that, but why worry? You will still have the privilege of the free air with opportunity always before you. Of course you are bound to meet with that duty loving stiff who knowing of your having been in the social waste heap believes in advertising the fact. But again, why worry? If you feel that you can make good—why?

Of course, now that you’re free, you’ll face some challenges as an ex-con and everything, but why stress? You’ll still enjoy the privilege of fresh air, with opportunities always ahead of you. Sure, you’ll encounter that duty-loving person who, knowing about your past, feels the need to point it out. But again, why worry? If you believe you can succeed—why not?

Some time I want to tell you about my old friend O’Hoolihan and the bird. He spent twenty-seven years in the place you just left and made one of the greatest sacrifices for a little robin redbreast that I ever knew a man to make—well, say for the benefit of a bird.

Some time I want to tell you about my old friend O’Hoolihan and the bird. He spent twenty-seven years in the place you just left and made one of the greatest sacrifices for a little robin that I ever knew a man to make—well, say for the benefit of a bird.

Yours very truly,
Bill Jones.

Sincerely,
Bill Jones.

 

 


CHAPTER THE LAST

THE BEGINNING

 

February 15, 1914.

February 15, 1914.

“The vilest deeds, like poison weeds,
Bloom well in prison air;
It is only what is good in Man
That wastes and withers there.”

So wrote the poet of Reading Gaol, whose bitter expiation has left an enduring mark in literature. But the lines do not express the whole truth. The Prison System does its best to crush all that is strong and good, but you can not always destroy “that capability and god-like reason” in man. Out of the prison which man has made for his fellow-man, this human cesspool and breeding place of physical, mental and moral disease, emerge a few noble souls, reborn and purified.

So wrote the poet of Reading Gaol, whose painful atonement has left a lasting impact on literature. But these lines don't convey the whole truth. The Prison System tries its hardest to eliminate everything strong and good, but you can't always erase “that capability and god-like reason” in humanity. From the prison that man has created for his fellow man, this human cesspool and breeding ground for physical, mental, and moral illness, arise a few noble souls, reborn and renewed.

All about me while I was in prison—that hard and brutal place of revenge, I felt the quiet strivings of mighty, purifying forces—the divine in man struggling for expression and development.[Pg 315] Give these forces free play, and who knows what the result may be? The spirit of God can do wondrous things when not thwarted by the impious hand of man.

All about me while I was in prison—that harsh and brutal place of revenge, I felt the quiet efforts of powerful, cleansing forces—the divine in people trying to express and grow. [Pg 315] Give these forces the freedom to act, and who knows what might happen? The spirit of God can achieve amazing things when not hindered by the disrespectful actions of humanity.

It will not be forgotten, I hope, the conversation Jack Murphy and I had about the formation of a Good Conduct League among the prisoners. My partner lost no time in getting the affair under way. On the very afternoon of our parting in the Warden’s office he wrote me the following letter. It is made public with considerable reluctance, because it seems like violating a sacred confidence. On the other hand when I spoke to Jack about the matter his reply was characteristic. “Print it if you want to, Tom. Whatever I have said or written you can do anything you like with; and especially if you think it will help the League.”

I hope the conversation Jack Murphy and I had about starting a Good Conduct League among the prisoners isn’t forgotten. My partner wasted no time getting things going. On the very afternoon we parted in the Warden’s office, he wrote me the following letter. I'm sharing it publicly with some hesitation because it feels like a breach of trust. However, when I mentioned it to Jack, his response was typical. “Go ahead and publish it if you want to, Tom. You can do anything you like with what I’ve said or written; especially if you think it will help the League.”

So here is the letter.

Here’s the letter.

Sunday, Oct. 5, 1913.

Sunday, Oct. 5, 2013.

My dear friend Tom:

My buddy Tom:

No doubt you must think me a great big baby for the way I acted while in your presence this afternoon. I had no idea that you would call upon me so soon after your release, although I hardly think it would of made any difference whether it had of been a week from this afternoon; I would have acted the same.

No doubt you must think I'm a huge baby for the way I acted while you were here this afternoon. I had no idea you would stop by so soon after your release, but honestly, I don't think it would have made a difference if it had been a week from today; I would have acted the same way.

The week that I spent working by your side was the[Pg 316] most pleasant as well as the most profitable one of my life, and God, how I hated to see you go.

The week I spent working next to you was the[Pg 316] most enjoyable and the most rewarding of my life, and I truly hated to see you leave.

But your lecture this A. M. in chapel was the most wonderful I ever heard. Many was the heart that cried out its thankfulness to God for sending you into us, and many a silent promise was made to the cause for which you gave up a week of your happiness and freedom to solve.

But your talk this A.M. in chapel was the most amazing I've ever heard. Many hearts expressed their gratitude to God for bringing you to us, and many silent promises were made to support the cause for which you sacrificed a week of your happiness and freedom to address.

And Tom, you have made a new man of me, and all that I ask and crave for is the chance to assist you in your works. I would willingly remain behind these “sombrous walls” for the rest of my life for this chance. I know and feel that I can do good here, for there are a good many in here that knows me by reputation; and if I could only get them under my thumb and show them that it does not pay to be a gangist or a crook, or a tough in or out of prison. As I told you to-day, I have no self-motive for asking this request; for if successful I know and feel that the reward which awaits you in the hereafter mayhap awaits me also; and I am willing to sacrifice my freedom and my all in order to gain the opportunity of once more meeting face to face and embracing my good, dear mother whom I know is now in Heaven awaiting and praying for me.

And Tom, you've completely changed my life, and all I ask for is the opportunity to help you with your work. I'd gladly stay behind these “sombrous walls” for the rest of my life for that chance. I believe I can make a difference here, as many inside know me by reputation. If I could just get them to see that being a gangster or a criminal, whether in or out of prison, doesn't pay off. As I told you today, I have no selfish motive in making this request; if I'm successful, I believe the reward that awaits you in the afterlife might also be offered to me. I'm willing to give up my freedom and everything else just to have the chance to see and embrace my good, dear mother again, who I know is in Heaven waiting and praying for me.

To-morrow, Monday, Oct. 6, I shall request one of the boys in the basket-shop to draw up a resolution pledging our loyalty to your cause; and I shall ask only those who are sincere to sign it. After this has been done I am going to ask our Warden for permission to start a Tom Brown League; its members to be men who have never been punished. Tom, I hope that you and your fellow-commissioners as well as Supt. Riley and Warden Rattigan[Pg 317] will approve of this, for I am sure that such a League will bring forth good results. I have associated so many years among the class of men in this prison that I believe them to be part of my very being; and that is why I have so much confidence in the success of a Tom Brown League.

Tomorrow, Monday, Oct. 6, I’m going to ask one of the guys in the basket shop to draft a resolution committing us to your cause; and I’ll only ask those who truly believe in it to sign. Once that’s done, I’ll request permission from our Warden to start a Tom Brown League, with members being men who have never been punished. Tom, I hope that you, your fellow commissioners, as well as Supt. Riley and Warden Rattigan[Pg 317], will support this, because I’m sure that such a League will yield positive results. I’ve spent so many years among the men in this prison that I consider them part of my own identity; that’s why I have so much faith in the success of a Tom Brown League.

Trusting that God and his blessed Son shall watch over you and yours, and that he may spare and give you and your co-workers strength to carry out your plans, is the sincere wish of one of your boys.

Trusting that God and His blessed Son will look after you and your family, and that He will give you and your colleagues the strength to achieve your goals, is the heartfelt wish of one of your boys.

I am sincerely and always will be,

I truly am, and I always will be.

Jack Murphy, No. 32177.

Jack Murphy, No. 32177.

With some difficulty I persuaded my loyal partner to forego the name of Tom Brown in connection with the League. Before my departure for Europe, just a month after the day of my release, Jack was able to report a very satisfactory interview with Superintendent Riley, who had granted permission to start the League. Warden Rattigan’s approval had been already secured.

With some effort, I convinced my loyal partner to drop the name Tom Brown in relation to the League. Before I left for Europe, just a month after I was released, Jack was able to share a very positive meeting with Superintendent Riley, who had given the green light to start the League. Warden Rattigan's approval had already been obtained.

During my six weeks’ absence there was much talk on the subject, so far as it was possible for the prisoners to talk; and many kites passed back and forth among those most interested.

During my six weeks away, there was a lot of discussion on the topic, as much as the prisoners could manage; and many messages were exchanged among those most involved.

After my return events moved quickly, and on December 26 a free election was held in the different shops of the prison, to choose a committee of forty-nine to determine the exact nature and[Pg 318] organization of the League, the general idea of which had been unanimously approved by show of hands at the conclusion of the chapel services on the Sunday previous.

After I got back, things moved fast, and on December 26, a free election took place in the various shops of the prison to select a committee of forty-nine to figure out the exact nature and[Pg 318] organization of the League, the general idea of which had been unanimously approved by a show of hands at the end of the chapel services the previous Sunday.

Much interest was taken in the election, and there were some very close contests.

There was a lot of interest in the election, and some races were very close.

Three days after the election the members of the committee of forty-nine were brought to the chapel, and the meeting called to order by the Warden. By unanimous vote Thomas Brown, No. 33,333x, was made chairman; and then the Warden and the keepers retired. For the first time in the history of Auburn Prison a body of convicts were permitted a full and free discussion of their own affairs. The discussion was not only free but most interesting, as the committee contained men of all kinds, sentenced for all sorts of offenses—first, second and third termers.

Three days after the election, the members of the committee of forty-nine were brought to the chapel, and the meeting was called to order by the Warden. By unanimous vote, Thomas Brown, No. 33,333x, was made chairman; then the Warden and the guards left the room. For the first time in the history of Auburn Prison, a group of inmates was allowed to have a full and open discussion about their own matters. The discussion was not only open but also very engaging, as the committee included men of all backgrounds, sentenced for a variety of offenses—first-time, second-time, and third-time offenders.

This is not the place to go into details concerning the Mutual Welfare League of Auburn Prison; that is another story. It is enough to say that the by-laws of the League were carefully formulated by a subcommittee of twelve; and after full discussion in the committee of forty-nine were reported by that committee to the whole body of prisoners on January 11 and unanimously adopted. On February 12 the first meeting of the League was held.

This isn't the right time to get into the details about the Mutual Welfare League of Auburn Prison; that's a different story. It's enough to mention that the League's by-laws were carefully created by a subcommittee of twelve, and after thorough discussion in the committee of forty-nine, they were presented to all the prisoners on January 11 and unanimously approved. The first meeting of the League took place on February 12.

Let me try to describe it.

Let me break it down.

It is the afternoon of Lincoln’s Birthday. Once[Pg 319] again I am standing on the stage of the assembly room of Auburn Prison, but how different is the scene before me. Busy and willing hands have transformed the dreary old place. The stage has been made into a real stage—properly boxed and curtained; the posts through the room are wreathed with colored papers; trophies and shields fill the wall spaces; the front of the gallery is gaily decorated. Everywhere are green and white, the colors of the League, symbolic of hope and truth. Painted on the curtain is a large shield with the monogram of the League and its motto, suggested by one of the prisoners, “Do good. Make good.” At the back of the stage over the national flag a portrait of Lincoln smiles upon this celebration of a new emancipation.

It’s the afternoon of Lincoln’s Birthday. Once[Pg 319] again, I’m on the stage of the assembly room at Auburn Prison, but the scene around me is completely different. Busy and eager hands have transformed the dull, old place. The stage has been turned into a real stage—properly enclosed and curtained; the posts throughout the room are adorned with colorful paper; trophies and shields fill the wall space; the front of the gallery is brightly decorated. Everywhere you look, there are green and white, the colors of the League, symbolizing hope and truth. A large shield with the League's monogram and its motto, suggested by one of the prisoners, “Do good. Make good,” is painted on the curtain. At the back of the stage, over the national flag, a portrait of Lincoln smiles down on this celebration of a new emancipation.

At about quarter past two the tramp of men is heard and up the stairs and through the door come marching nearly 1,400 men (for all but seventeen of the prisoners have joined the League). Each man stands proudly erect and on his breast appears the green and white button of the League, sign and symbol of a new order of things. At the side of the companies march the assistant sergeants-at-arms and the members of the Board of Delegates—the governing body of the League; and on the coat of each is displayed a small green and white shield—his badge of authority.

At around 2:15, the sound of footsteps is heard, and nearly 1,400 men march up the stairs and through the door (only seventeen of the prisoners haven’t joined the League). Each man stands tall, wearing the green and white button of the League on his chest, symbolizing a new era. Alongside the groups march the assistant sergeants-at-arms and the members of the Board of Delegates—the League's governing body; each one displays a small green and white shield on their coat, signifying their authority.

[Pg 320]No such perfect discipline has ever been seen before in Auburn Prison, and yet there is not a guard or keeper present except the new P. K. or Deputy Warden, who in an unofficial capacity stands near the door, watching to see how this miracle is being worked. In the usual place of the P. K. stands one of the prisoners, the newly-elected Sergeant-at-Arms, whose keen eye and forceful, quiet manner stamp him as a real leader of men.

[Pg 320]There has never been such perfect discipline in Auburn Prison before, and yet there isn't a guard or staff member around except for the new P. K. or Deputy Warden, who is unofficially standing by the door, observing how this impressive feat is being achieved. In the usual position of the P. K. stands one of the inmates, the newly-elected Sergeant-at-Arms, whose sharp gaze and strong, calm demeanor mark him as a true leader of people.

In perfect order company after company marches in, and as soon as seated the men join in the general buzz of conversation, like any other human beings assembled for an entertainment. There is no disorder, nothing but natural life and animation.

In perfect order, company after company marches in, and as soon as they’re seated, the men join in the general buzz of conversation, just like any other group of people gathered for entertainment. There’s no chaos, just natural life and energy.

I look out over the audience—and my mind turns back to the day before I entered prison, when I spoke to the men from this stage. What is it that has happened? What transformation has taken place? It suddenly occurs to me that this audience is no longer gray; why did I ever think it so? “Gray and faded and prematurely old,” I had written of that rigid audience—each man sitting dull and silent under the eye of his watchful keeper, staring straight ahead, not daring to turn his head or to whisper.

I look out at the audience—and my mind goes back to the day before I entered prison, when I spoke to the men from this stage. What has happened? What change has occurred? It suddenly hits me that this audience isn’t gray anymore; why did I ever think it was? “Gray and faded and prematurely old,” I had written about that stiff audience—each man sitting dull and silent under the watchful eye of his guard, staring straight ahead, not daring to turn his head or whisper.

Now there are no keepers, and each man is sitting easily and naturally, laughing and chatting with his neighbor. There is color in the faces[Pg 321] and life in the eyes. I had never noticed before the large number of fine-looking young men. I can hardly believe it is the same gray audience I spoke to less than five short months ago. What does it all mean?

Now there are no guards, and each man is sitting comfortably and casually, laughing and chatting with his neighbor. There is color in their faces[Pg 321] and life in their eyes. I had never noticed before how many attractive young men there are. I can hardly believe it's the same gray audience I spoke to less than five short months ago. What does it all mean?

For this first meeting, the Executive Committee of the League has planned a violin and piano recital. For two hours the men listen attentively and with many manifestations of pleasure to good music by various composers varying from Bach and Beethoven to Sullivan and Johann Strauss.

For this first meeting, the Executive Committee of the League has organized a violin and piano recital. For two hours, the audience listens attentively and shows a lot of enjoyment as they experience great music by various composers, ranging from Bach and Beethoven to Sullivan and Johann Strauss.

Between the first and second parts of the programme, we have an encouraging report from the Secretary of the League, none other than our friend Richards, whose cynical pessimism of last July has been replaced by an almost flamboyant optimism as he toils night and day in the service of the League. We have also speeches of congratulation and good cheer from two other members of the Commission on Prison Reform, who have come from a distance to greet this dawn of the new era.

Between the first and second parts of the program, we have an encouraging report from the Secretary of the League, our friend Richards, whose cynical pessimism from last July has been replaced by an almost over-the-top optimism as he works tirelessly for the League. We also have congratulatory speeches and words of encouragement from two other members of the Commission on Prison Reform, who have traveled from afar to celebrate this new beginning.

Then after the applause for the last musical number has died away, the long line of march begins again. In perfect order and without a whisper after they have fallen into line, the 1,400 men march back and shut themselves into their cells. One of the prison keepers who stands by, watching this wonderful exhibition of discipline,[Pg 322] exclaims in profane amazement, “Why in Hell can’t they do that for us?”

Then, after the applause for the last musical number fades away, the long line of march begins again. In perfect order and without a sound, the 1,400 men fall into line and march back to their cells. One of the guards standing by, watching this amazing display of discipline, exclaims in disbelief, “Why in the hell can’t they do that for us?”[Pg 322]

Why indeed?

Why not?

The men have been back in their cells about an hour when an unexpected test is made of their loyalty and self-restraint. As I am about to leave the prison and stand chatting with Richards at his desk in the back office, the electric lights begin to flicker and die down.

The guys have been back in their cells for about an hour when an unexpected test of their loyalty and self-control arises. As I’m about to leave the prison and am chatting with Richards at his desk in the back office, the electric lights start to flicker and then go out.

Richards and I have just been talking of the great success of the League’s first meeting and the good conduct of the men. “Now you will have the other side of it,” says Richards. “Listen and you will hear the shouts and disorder that always come when the lights go out.”

Richards and I just talked about the great success of the League's first meeting and how well the men behaved. "Now you'll get the other side of it," Richards says. "Just listen and you'll hear the shouts and chaos that always happen when the lights go out."

Dimmer and dimmer grow the lights, while Richards and I listen intently at the window in the great iron door which opens onto the gallery of the north wing.

Dimmer and dimmer grow the lights, while Richards and I listen closely at the window in the big iron door that opens onto the gallery of the north wing.

Not a sound.

Silent.

The lights go entirely out, and still not a sound. Not even a cough comes from the cells to disturb the perfect silence.

The lights go completely out, and there's still not a sound. Not even a cough comes from the cells to break the perfect silence.

We remain about half a minute in the dark, listening at the door. Then the lights begin to show color, waver, grow lighter, go out altogether for a second, and then burn with a steady brightness.

We stay in the dark for about half a minute, listening at the door. Then the lights start to show color, flicker, get brighter, go completely out for a second, and then shine steadily.

I look at Richards. He is paler than usual,[Pg 323] but there is a bright gleam in his eyes. “I would not have believed it possible,” he says impressively, “such a thing has never happened in this prison before. The men always yell when the lights go out. In all my experience I have never known anything equal to that. I don’t understand it.

I look at Richards. He looks more pale than usual,[Pg 323] but there’s a bright shine in his eyes. “I wouldn’t have thought it was possible,” he says dramatically, “this has never happened in this prison before. The guys always shout when the lights go out. In all my experience, I’ve never seen anything like that. I don’t get it.

“If anyone had told me the League could do such a thing,” he continues, “I would have laughed at them. Yet there it is. I have no further doubts now about our success.”

“If anyone had told me the League could do something like this,” he continues, “I would have laughed at them. Yet here we are. I have no more doubts now about our success.”

As I leave the prison again, there ring in my ears the questions: What has happened? What does it all mean?

As I walk out of the prison once more, the questions echo in my mind: What happened? What does it all mean?

It means just one thing—my friend—for it is you now, you individually, to whom I am speaking; it means that these prisoners are men—real men—your brethren—and mine.

It means just one thing—my friend—for it is you now, you individually, to whom I am speaking; it means that these prisoners are men—real men—your brothers—and mine.

It means that as they are men they should be treated like men.

It means that because they are men, they should be treated as men.

It means that if you treat them like beasts it will be hard for them to keep from degenerating into beasts. If you treat them like men you can help them to rise.

It means that if you treat them like animals, it will be hard for them not to become like animals. If you treat them like people, you can help them improve.

It means that if you trust them they will show themselves worthy of trust.

It means that if you trust them, they will prove themselves deserving of that trust.

It means that if you place responsibility upon them they will rise to it.

It means that if you give them responsibility, they'll step up to it.

Perhaps some may think that I am leaving out[Pg 324] of consideration the direct religious appeal that can be made to the prisoners. By no means. I have no intention of underrating the religious appeal. Under the old depressing conditions it is about the only appeal that can be made. But the religious appeal, to be really effective, must be based upon a treatment of the prisoner somewhat in accordance with the precepts of religion. Preaching a religion of brotherly love to convicts while you are treating them upon a basis of diabolical hatred is a discouraging performance.

Perhaps some may think that I'm overlooking[Pg 324] the direct religious appeal that can be made to prisoners. Not at all. I'm not downplaying the importance of the religious appeal. In the old, harsh conditions, it’s about the only way to reach them. However, for the religious appeal to really work, it needs to be grounded in treating the prisoner in a way that aligns with the principles of religion. Preaching a message of brotherly love to convicts while treating them with blatant hostility is a discouraging effort.

Give the prisoner fair treatment; discard your System based upon revenge; build up a new System based upon a temporary exile of the offender from Society until he can show himself worthy to be granted a new opportunity; and then give him a chance to build up his character while in retirement by free exercise of the faculties necessary for wise discrimination and right choice of action. Then your religious appeal to the prisoner will not be flagrantly contradicted by every sight and sound about him.

Give the prisoner fair treatment; let go of your System based on revenge; create a new System that temporarily removes the offender from Society until they can prove themselves worthy of a new chance; and then allow them to develop their character while in seclusion by freely using the skills needed for wise judgment and making the right choices. This way, your religious appeal to the prisoner won't be completely contradicted by everything they see and hear around them.

In one of the prisons in a neighboring state, I saw hanging up in the bare, unsightly room they called a chapel, a large illuminated text: Love One Another.

In a prison in a nearby state, I saw in the stark, unattractive room they referred to as a chapel a large illuminated sign that read: Love One Another.

It seemed to me I had never before encountered such terrible, bitter, humiliating sarcasm.

It felt like I had never come across such awful, bitter, humiliating sarcasm before.

At first sight it seems almost a miracle—the change that is being wrought under Superintendent[Pg 325] Riley and Warden Rattigan in Auburn Prison. But in truth there is nothing really extraordinary about it—it is no miracle; unless it be a miracle to discard error and to replace it by truth. The results of a practical application of faith and hope and love often seem miraculous, but as a matter of fact such results are as logical as any geometrical demonstration.

At first glance, it seems almost miraculous—the transformation happening under Superintendent[Pg 325] Riley and Warden Rattigan at Auburn Prison. But honestly, there’s nothing particularly extraordinary about it—it’s not a miracle; unless you consider it a miracle to let go of falsehood and replace it with truth. The outcomes of putting faith, hope, and love into action often appear miraculous, but in reality, those outcomes are just as logical as any geometry proof.

When a man, treated like a beast, snarls and bites you say, “This is the conduct of an abnormal creature—a criminal.” When a prisoner, treated like a man, nobly responds you cry, “A miracle!”

When a man, treated like an animal, growls and lashes out, you say, “This is the behavior of a twisted being—a criminal.” When a prisoner, treated like a human, responds with dignity, you exclaim, “A miracle!”

What folly! Both these things are as natural as two and two making four.

What nonsense! Both of these things are as obvious as two plus two equals four.

The real miracle is when men who have been treated for many years like beasts persist in retaining their manhood.

The true miracle is when men who have been treated like animals for so long still manage to maintain their dignity.

A prisoner is kept for half a generation in conditions so terrible and degrading that the real wonder is how he has kept his sanity, and then he asks only for a chance to show where Society has made a mistake, begs only for an opportunity to be of service to his brethren.

A prisoner is held for about twenty-five years in conditions so awful and humiliating that it’s amazing he has managed to stay sane. All he asks for is a chance to point out where society has gone wrong; he only wants the opportunity to help his fellow men.

Donald Lowrie and Ed Morrell, laying aside their own wrongs and making light of their own sufferings, as they arouse not only the state of California but the whole nation to a sense of responsibility for the shocking conditions in our prisons; Jack Murphy, turning his back upon the[Pg 326] chance of a pardon, asking nothing for himself, seeking only how he can do the most good to his fellow-prisoners; these are the real miracles; when the spirit of God thus works in the hearts of men.

Donald Lowrie and Ed Morrell, setting aside their own mistakes and downplaying their sufferings, are not only stirring California but also the entire nation to take responsibility for the shocking conditions in our prisons. Jack Murphy, rejecting the chance for a pardon and asking nothing for himself, is focused solely on how he can help his fellow prisoners; these are the true miracles when the spirit of God works within people's hearts.

I have talked with no sensible person who proposes to sentimentalize over the law-breaker. Call the prison by any name you please, yet prisons of some sort we must have so long as men commit crime; and that from present indications will be for many generations to come. So far from setting men free from prison you and I, sensible people as I trust we are, would, if we could have our own way, put more men in prison than are there now; for we should send up all who now escape by the wiles of crooked lawyers, and we should include the crooked lawyers. But behind the prison walls we should relax the iron discipline—the hideous, degrading, unsuccessful system of silence and punishment—and substitute a system fair to all men, a limited freedom, and work in the open air.

I haven't met anyone reasonable who wants to romanticize the law-breaker. Call it whatever you like, but we need some form of prisons as long as people commit crimes, which, based on current trends, will be the case for many generations. Far from wanting to release people from prison, you and I, as sensible individuals, would actually prefer to see more people incarcerated than currently are; we would lock up everyone who escapes thanks to the tricks of dishonest lawyers, and we would include those crooked lawyers too. However, within the prison walls, we would ease the strict discipline—the awful, degrading, ineffective system of silence and punishment—and replace it with a fair system for everyone, offering limited freedom and work outdoors.

A new penology is growing up to take the place of the old. The Honor System is being tried in many states and, to the surprise of the old expert, is found practicable. But at Auburn Prison an experiment is in progress that goes straight to the very heart of the Problem. In the minds[Pg 327] of many the reform of the Prison System has been accomplished when a cold-hearted, brutal autocrat has been replaced by a kindly, benevolent autocrat. But so far as the ultimate success of the prisoner is concerned there is not much to choose. The former says, “Do this, or I will punish you.” The latter says, “Do this, and I will reward you.” Both leave altogether out of sight the fact that when the man leaves the shelter of the prison walls there will be no one either to threaten punishment or offer reward. Unless he has learned to do right on his own initiative there is no security against his return to prison.

A new approach to penology is emerging to replace the old one. The Honor System is being tested in many states and, to the surprise of old experts, it's proving to be feasible. However, at Auburn Prison, there's an experiment underway that tackles the core of the issue. Many believe that reforming the prison system means just replacing a harsh, brutal leader with a kind, caring one. But when it comes to the ultimate success of the prisoners, there isn't much difference. The former says, “Do this, or I will punish you.” The latter says, “Do this, and I will reward you.” Both ignore the reality that once a person leaves the prison walls, there will be no one to threaten punishment or offer rewards. Unless he has learned to do what's right on his own, there's no guarantee he won't end up back in prison.

“Do you know how men feel when they leave such a place as this?” said one of the Auburn third-termers to me, during the League discussions. “Well, I’ll tell you how I felt when I had finished my first term. I just hated everybody and everything; and I made up my mind that I’d get even.”

“Do you know how guys feel when they leave a place like this?” one of the Auburn third-termers asked me during the League discussions. “Well, I’ll tell you how I felt when I finished my first term. I just hated everyone and everything; and I decided that I’d get my revenge.”

There spoke the spirit of the old System.

There spoke the spirit of the old System.

During the same discussion another member of the committee, an Italian, had been listening with the most careful attention to all that had been said and particularly to the assertions that when responsibility was assumed by the prisoners at their League meetings there must be no fights or disorder. Then when someone else had said, “The men must leave their grudges behind when they[Pg 328] come to the meetings of the League,” Tony stood on his feet to give more effect to his words and spoke to this effect:

During the same discussion, another committee member, who was Italian, listened very attentively to everything that was said, especially to the claims that when the prisoners took responsibility at their League meetings, there shouldn’t be any fights or chaos. Then, when someone else mentioned, “The men need to leave their grudges behind when they[Pg 328] come to the League meetings,” Tony stood up to emphasize his words and spoke along these lines:

“Yes, Mr. Chairman, the men must leave their grudges behind. Let me tell you some thing.

“Yes, Mr. Chairman, the men need to let go of their grudges. Let me tell you something.

“Two months ago at Sing Sing I did have a quarrel with my friend, and this is what he did to me”; and the speaker pointed to a large scar which disfigures his left cheek. His “friend,” when Tony was lying asleep in the hospital, had taken a razor and slit his mouth back to the cheekbone.

“Two months ago at Sing Sing, I had a fight with my friend, and this is what he did to me,” the speaker said, pointing to a large scar that disfigures his left cheek. His “friend,” while Tony lay asleep in the hospital, had taken a razor and sliced his mouth back to the cheekbone.

A hard glint of light came into Tony’s eyes as he said, “And I have been waiting for my revenge ever since. And he is here—here in this prison.”

A sharp glint of light flashed in Tony’s eyes as he said, “And I’ve been waiting for my revenge ever since. And he’s here—here in this prison.”

Then the light in the eyes softened and the hard look on the face relaxed as Tony added, slowly and impressively, “But now I see, Mr. Chairman, that I can not have my revenge without doing a great wrong to fourteen hundred other men.

Then the light in his eyes softened and the harsh expression on his face relaxed as Tony added, slowly and impressively, “But now I see, Mr. Chairman, that I cannot have my revenge without doing a great wrong to fourteen hundred other men.

“So I give it up. He can go.”

“So I let it go. He can leave.”

There spoke the prison spirit of the future.

There spoke the spirit of the future from the prison.

 

THE END

THE END

 

 


Footnotes:

Footnotes:

[1] One of the men in Auburn Prison, explaining the feelings of their inmates in chapel this Sunday morning, writes the following comment: “The men could not realize what was actually meant by this at first; and as they grasped the idea it sort of staggered them and some thought, myself among others, ‘What’s the matter? What manner of man is this?’”

[1] One of the inmates in Auburn Prison, describing the feelings of his fellow prisoners in chapel this Sunday morning, writes the following: “The men didn't fully understand what was being said at first; and as they started to get the idea, it kind of threw them off balance, and some wondered, including myself, ‘What’s going on? What kind of person is this?’”

[2] Mine was one of the larger cells. Many of them are only three and a half feet wide.

[2] I had one of the bigger cells. A lot of them are only three and a half feet wide.

[3] It is perhaps needless to point out how much inaccuracy there must be in any statistics made up from records taken in such a manner. The prisoner gives such answers as he pleases. If he is found out in a lie he is punished—but how often is he found out?

[3] It's probably unnecessary to emphasize the amount of inaccuracy in any statistics compiled from records collected this way. The prisoner provides whatever answers he wants. If he gets caught in a lie, he’s punished—but how often does that actually happen?

[4] The writer is mistaken, for as a matter of fact the state was not so generous; the handkerchief was my own—as was also my toothbrush.—T. M. O.

[4] The writer is wrong because, in reality, the state wasn’t so generous; the handkerchief was mine—just like my toothbrush.—T. M. O.

[5] For fear that I may be condemned upon purely circumstantial evidence, I hasten to state that neither of these suppositions is correct.—T. M. O.

[5] To avoid being judged on just circumstantial evidence, I want to clarify that neither of these assumptions is true.—T. M. O.

[6] I have since learned that I committed a breach of the rules every morning; one which laid me open to punishment. Men who awake before six-thirty must stay in bed until the bell rings.

[6] I have since realized that I broke the rules every morning; a mistake that could get me in trouble. Guys who wake up before six-thirty have to stay in bed until the bell rings.

[7] Jack Murphy gives me the following information: When a new man arrives in prison and is assigned to a shop the waiter or captain puts his name on a requisition letter list. If this inmate’s surname begins with A, he gets his monthly letter on the first Sunday of each month; if his name begins with some other letter, he gets his monthly letter on some other Sunday. If, upon A’s arrival, his Sunday has just passed, he has to wait until the first Sunday of the next month comes around; unless some one puts him wise on how to write to the warden for an extra or special letter.

[7] Jack Murphy gives me the following information: When a new person arrives in prison and is assigned to a shop, the waiter or captain adds their name to a requisition letter list. If this inmate’s last name starts with A, they receive their monthly letter on the first Sunday of each month; if their name starts with another letter, they get their monthly letter on a different Sunday. If, upon arrival, their designated Sunday has just passed, they have to wait until the first Sunday of the next month; unless someone informs them on how to write to the warden for an extra or special letter.

[8] On this point Jack Murphy writes: “We are allowed one box of matches a month. The men split each match into two parts, so as to make this one box last as long as possible. Each box contains 62 matches. After they are split up into two the prisoner has 124 matches. These will last him about 10 days; then he must use his flint and steel. This is the most intelligent thing the convicts are taught, for it teaches them the art of economy, which, if lived up to, will help them to overcome their extravagance when freed.” I believe our friend B. intimated that Jack is something of a joker.

[8] On this note, Jack Murphy mentions: “We’re allowed one box of matches a month. The guys break each match in half to make that one box last as long as possible. Each box has 62 matches. Once they're split, the prisoner gets 124 matches. That will last about 10 days; after that, he has to use his flint and steel. This is the smartest thing the convicts learn, as it teaches them to be economical, which, if they stick to it, will help them curb their extravagance once they’re released.” I think our friend B. hinted that Jack is a bit of a joker.

Since my week in prison the inmates are allowed to buy a dozen boxes of matches a month. Why they should not always have been allowed to do so is beyond my comprehension.

Since my week in prison, the inmates are allowed to buy a dozen boxes of matches each month. I don’t understand why they weren’t allowed to do that before.

[9] This, of course, is the same incident that has already been given in the supplementary pages of the previous chapter, but I insert it again as a part of my journal. It illustrates the way news circulates about the prison.

[9] This is, of course, the same incident that's already been mentioned in the supplementary pages of the previous chapter, but I'm including it again as part of my journal. It shows how news spreads around the prison.

[10] There were some small inaccuracies in Jack’s tale, especially this account of the trusty and the P. K. The facts are as stated in the last chapter. I have let this passage remain, however, as it represents what I heard and understood at the time.

[10] There were a few minor inaccuracies in Jack’s story, particularly regarding the trusty and the P. K. The facts are as mentioned in the last chapter. I’ve kept this passage as it reflects what I heard and understood back then.

[11] There had been no runaways from the road camps at the time Jack was speaking. Before the camps were broken up at the end of the season, and the road work was suspended for the winter, there were four. Two were recovered and brought back; one returned of his own accord; and one made his getaway. The lives of the two who were brought back were made miserable by the abuse heaped upon them by their fellow prisoners for having violated the confidence placed in them. They finally petitioned the Warden to be transferred to some other prison.

[11] At the time Jack was talking, there hadn't been any runaways from the road camps. Before the camps wrapped up at the end of the season and the road work stopped for winter, there were four. Two were found and brought back; one returned on his own; and one successfully escaped. The two who were brought back had their lives made miserable by the abuse from their fellow inmates for breaking the trust that was given to them. In the end, they asked the Warden to transfer them to another prison.

[12] Both Stuhlmiller and Laflam were elected on the original committee which prepared the organization of the Mutual Welfare League, and have worked enthusiastically for its success.

[12] Both Stuhlmiller and Laflam were elected to the original committee that set up the Mutual Welfare League, and they have worked passionately for its success.

[13] The mystery has been explained by one of my fellow-prisoners. “On the roof of the bucket-house and on the walls are some grape vines from which the sickly looking grapes are picked by the bucket-house man and given to friends. I tried them, but they were too much for me, and it’s lucky you did not tackle them.”

[13] One of my fellow prisoners explained the mystery. “There are some grape vines on the roof of the bucket-house and on the walls, and the guy who works there picks the sickly-looking grapes and gives them to friends. I tried them, but they were way too much for me, and it's a good thing you didn't try them either.”

[14] As a matter of fact I was testing the Captain’s mettle far more than I supposed, for Grant’s warning to be on the watch for such a move on my part had not yet reached him, as I thought it had. All the more must one admire the admirable way in which Captain Kane handled the matter. He showed himself cool and collected under rather embarrassing circumstances, for which he was totally unprepared. An excellent officer.

[14] In reality, I was testing the Captain's resolve much more than I realized, since Grant's warning to be alert for such a move from me hadn't reached him yet, contrary to what I believed. One must truly admire the impressive way Captain Kane dealt with the situation. He remained calm and composed in rather awkward circumstances, which he was completely unprepared for. A great officer.

[15] I have been told, on very good authority, that it was seriously debated whether all the prisoners should not be removed from the jail before my arrival and stored elsewhere temporarily. But one of the trusties pointed out to a certain officer high in authority that it would be rather awkward if I heard of it, as I was almost sure to do; and thus in the end it would have a worse result than if things were allowed to drift. This view carried the day, so that the removal of Lavinsky was the only change made. The effort to place the two fellows in the screen cells, upon which Captain Martin was too wise to insist, was by Number Four’s shrewdness defeated.

[15] I've heard, from a reliable source, that there was serious discussion about whether all the prisoners should be moved out of the jail before I got there and temporarily kept somewhere else. But one of the trusties pointed out to a certain high-ranking officer that it would be pretty awkward if I found out about it, which I was likely to do. In the end, it would cause worse problems than just letting things be. This perspective won out, so the only change made was the removal of Lavinsky. Captain Martin, being too savvy, didn’t push to put the two guys in the screen cells, and Number Four managed to thwart that plan with his cleverness.

[16] The original has the full name.

[16] The original includes the complete name.

[17] A. P. K. = Acting Principal Keeper.

[17] A. P. K. = Acting Principal Keeper.

[18] Considerably more than a year’s pay.

[18] Definitely more than a year's salary.




        
        
    
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