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CAESAR AND CLEOPATRA



By George Bernard Shaw










Contents


ACT I

An October night on the Syrian border of Egypt towards the end of the XXXIII Dynasty, in the year 706 by Roman computation, afterwards reckoned by Christian computation as 48 B.C. A great radiance of silver fire, the dawn of a moonlit night, is rising in the east. The stars and the cloudless sky are our own contemporaries, nineteen and a half centuries younger than we know them; but you would not guess that from their appearance. Below them are two notable drawbacks of civilization: a palace, and soldiers. The palace, an old, low, Syrian building of whitened mud, is not so ugly as Buckingham Palace; and the officers in the courtyard are more highly civilized than modern English officers: for example, they do not dig up the corpses of their dead enemies and mutilate them, as we dug up Cromwell and the Mahdi. They are in two groups: one intent on the gambling of their captain Belzanor, a warrior of fifty, who, with his spear on the ground beside his knee, is stooping to throw dice with a sly-looking young Persian recruit; the other gathered about a guardsman who has just finished telling a naughty story (still current in English barracks) at which they are laughing uproariously. They are about a dozen in number, all highly aristocratic young Egyptian guardsmen, handsomely equipped with weapons and armor, very unEnglish in point of not being ashamed of and uncomfortable in their professional dress; on the contrary, rather ostentatiously and arrogantly warlike, as valuing themselves on their military caste.

An October night on the Syrian border of Egypt toward the end of the XXXIII Dynasty, in the year 706 according to the Roman calendar, later marked as 48 B.C. by the Christian calendar. A bright glow of silver fire, the dawn of a moonlit night, is rising in the east. The stars and the clear sky are like our own contemporaries, nineteen and a half centuries younger than we think of them; but you wouldn't guess that just by looking at them. Below are two significant downsides of civilization: a palace and soldiers. The palace, an old, low Syrian building made of white mud, isn’t as ugly as Buckingham Palace; and the officers in the courtyard are more civilized than modern English officers; for instance, they don’t dig up the corpses of their dead enemies and mutilate them, like we did with Cromwell and the Mahdi. They are divided into two groups: one focused on the gambling of their captain Belzanor, a fifty-year-old warrior, who, with his spear resting beside his knee, is bending down to throw dice with a sly-looking young Persian recruit; the other is gathered around a guardsman who just finished telling a risqué story (still popular in English barracks) that has them laughing loudly. There are about a dozen of them, all highly aristocratic young Egyptian guardsmen, well-equipped with weapons and armor, distinctly un-English in not feeling ashamed or uncomfortable in their military attire; instead, they are quite proudly and arrogantly warlike, valuing their military status.

Belzanor is a typical veteran, tough and wilful; prompt, capable and crafty where brute force will serve; helpless and boyish when it will not: an effective sergeant, an incompetent general, a deplorable dictator. Would, if influentially connected, be employed in the two last capacities by a modern European State on the strength of his success in the first. Is rather to be pitied just now in view of the fact that Julius Caesar is invading his country. Not knowing this, is intent on his game with the Persian, whom, as a foreigner, he considers quite capable of cheating him.

Belzanor is your typical veteran—tough and headstrong; quick, skilled, and clever when brute force is useful; helpless and childlike when it's not. He's an effective sergeant but a poor general and a terrible dictator. If he had connections, he could easily be hired for those last two roles by a modern European state based on his success as a sergeant. It's rather sad for him right now, especially considering that Julius Caesar is invading his country. Unaware of this, he's focused on his game with the Persian, whom he sees as fully capable of cheating him because he's an outsider.

His subalterns are mostly handsome young fellows whose interest in the game and the story symbolizes with tolerable completeness the main interests in life of which they are conscious. Their spears are leaning against the walls, or lying on the ground ready to their hands. The corner of the courtyard forms a triangle of which one side is the front of the palace, with a doorway, the other a wall with a gateway. The storytellers are on the palace side: the gamblers, on the gateway side. Close to the gateway, against the wall, is a stone block high enough to enable a Nubian sentinel, standing on it, to look over the wall. The yard is lighted by a torch stuck in the wall. As the laughter from the group round the storyteller dies away, the kneeling Persian, winning the throw, snatches up the stake from the ground.

His underlings are mostly good-looking young guys whose interest in the game and the story reflects the main things they care about in life. Their spears are propped against the walls or lying on the ground, ready to grab. The corner of the courtyard forms a triangle, with one side being the front of the palace, featuring a doorway, and the other a wall with a gate. The storytellers are on the palace side, while the gamblers are by the gate. Close to the gate, against the wall, is a stone block tall enough for a Nubian guard standing on it to look over the wall. The yard is lit by a torch stuck in the wall. As the laughter from the group around the storyteller fades, the kneeling Persian, having won the throw, quickly snatches up the stake from the ground.



BELZANOR. By Apis, Persian, thy gods are good to thee.

BELZANOR. By Apis, Persian, your gods are blessing you.

THE PERSIAN. Try yet again, O captain. Double or quits!

THE PERSIAN. Give it another shot, captain. Double or nothing!

BELZANOR. No more. I am not in the vein.

BELZANOR. Not anymore. I'm just not feeling it.

THE SENTINEL (poising his javelin as he peers over the wall). Stand. Who goes there?

THE SENTINEL (holding his javelin as he looks over the wall). Stop. Who's there?

They all start, listening. A strange voice replies from without.

They all begin to listen. A strange voice replies from outside.

VOICE. The bearer of evil tidings.

VOICE. The messenger of bad news.

BELZANOR (calling to the sentry). Pass him.

BELZANOR (calling to the sentry). Let him through.

THE SENTINEL (grounding his javelin). Draw near, O bearer of evil tidings.

THE SENTINEL (grounding his javelin). Come closer, O bringer of bad news.

BELZANOR (pocketing the dice and picking up his spear). Let us receive this man with honor. He bears evil tidings.

BELZANOR (putting away the dice and grabbing his spear). Let's welcome this man with respect. He brings bad news.

The guardsmen seize their spears and gather about the gate, leaving a way through for the new comer.

The guards grab their spears and gather around the gate, making a path for the newcomer.

PERSIAN (rising from his knee). Are evil tidings, then, honorable?

PERSIAN (getting up from his knee). Are bad news, then, considered honorable?

BELZANOR. O barbarous Persian, hear my instruction. In Egypt the bearer of good tidings is sacrificed to the gods as a thank offering; but no god will accept the blood of the messenger of evil. When we have good tidings, we are careful to send them in the mouth of the cheapest slave we can find. Evil tidings are borne by young noblemen who desire to bring themselves into notice. (They join the rest at the gate.)

BELZANOR. Oh, cruel Persian, listen to what I have to say. In Egypt, the person who brings good news is sacrificed to the gods as a gesture of gratitude; however, no god will accept the blood of the bearer of bad news. When we have good news, we make sure to send it through the cheapest slave we can find. Bad news is delivered by young nobles who want to draw attention to themselves. (They join the rest at the gate.)

THE SENTINEL. Pass, O young captain; and bow the head in the House of the Queen.

THE SENTINEL. Go ahead, young captain; and lower your head in the Queen's House.

VOICE. Go anoint thy javelin with fat of swine, O Blackamoor; for before morning the Romans will make thee eat it to the very butt.

VOICE. Go anoint your javelin with pig fat, O Blackamoor; for before morning the Romans will make you eat it all the way to the end.

The owner of the voice, a fairhaired dandy, dressed in a different fashion to that affected by the guardsmen, but no less extravagantly, comes through the gateway laughing. He is somewhat battlestained; and his left forearm, bandaged, comes through a torn sleeve. In his right hand he carries a Roman sword in its sheath. He swaggers down the courtyard, the Persian on his right, Belzanor on his left, and the guardsmen crowding down behind him.

The owner of the voice, a blonde dandy, dressed differently from the guardsmen but just as extravagantly, strides through the gateway laughing. He looks a bit battle-worn; his left forearm is bandaged and sticks out from a torn sleeve. In his right hand, he holds a Roman sword in its sheath. He swaggeringly walks down the courtyard, the Persian on his right, Belzanor on his left, with the guardsmen crowding in behind him.

BELZANOR. Who art thou that laughest in the House of Cleopatra the Queen, and in the teeth of Belzanor, the captain of her guard?

BELZANOR. Who are you that laughs in the House of Cleopatra the Queen, and in the face of Belzanor, the captain of her guard?

THE NEW COMER. I am Bel Affris, descended from the gods.

THE NEW COMER. I am Bel Affris, a descendant of the gods.

BELZANOR (ceremoniously). Hail, cousin!

BELZANOR (ceremoniously). Hey, cousin!

ALL (except the Persian). Hail, cousin!

ALL (except the Persian). Hey, cousin!

PERSIAN. All the Queen’s guards are descended from the gods, O stranger, save myself. I am Persian, and descended from many kings.

PERSIAN. All of the Queen's guards are descended from the gods, traveler, except for me. I am Persian and descended from many kings.

BEL AFFRIS (to the guardsmen). Hail, cousins! (To the Persian, condescendingly) Hail, mortal!

BEL AFFRIS (to the guardsmen). Hey, cousins! (To the Persian, in a patronizing way) Hello, human!

BELZANOR. You have been in battle, Bel Affris; and you are a soldier among soldiers. You will not let the Queen’s women have the first of your tidings.

BELZANOR. You've been in battle, Bel Affris, and you’re a soldier among soldiers. You won’t let the Queen's women get the first news from you.

BEL AFFRIS. I have no tidings, except that we shall have our throats cut presently, women, soldiers, and all.

BEL AFFRIS. I have no news, except that we’re all about to get our throats cut—women, soldiers, and everyone.

PERSIAN (to Belzanor). I told you so.

PERSIAN (to Belzanor). I told you so.

THE SENTINEL (who has been listening). Woe, alas!

THE SENTINEL (who has been listening). Oh no, what a disaster!

BEL AFFRIS (calling to him). Peace, peace, poor Ethiop: destiny is with the gods who painted thee black. (To Belzanor) What has this mortal (indicating the Persian) told you?

BEL AFFRIS (calling to him). Calm down, calm down, poor Ethiopian: fate is with the gods who made you black. (To Belzanor) What has this man (pointing to the Persian) said to you?

BELZANOR. He says that the Roman Julius Caesar, who has landed on our shores with a handful of followers, will make himself master of Egypt. He is afraid of the Roman soldiers. (The guardsmen laugh with boisterous scorn.) Peasants, brought up to scare crows and follow the plough. Sons of smiths and millers and tanners! And we nobles, consecrated to arms, descended from the gods!

BELZANOR. He claims that the Roman Julius Caesar, who has arrived on our shores with a small group of followers, will take control of Egypt. He fears the Roman soldiers. (The guardsmen laugh with loud disdain.) Farmers, raised to scare away crows and work the land. Sons of blacksmiths, millers, and tanners! And we nobles, dedicated to arms, descended from the gods!

PERSIAN. Belzanor: the gods are not always good to their poor relations.

PERSIAN. Belzanor: the gods don't always treat their less fortunate relatives well.

BELZANOR (hotly, to the Persian). Man to man, are we worse than the slaves of Caesar?

BELZANOR (angrily, to the Persian). Person to person, are we worse than Caesar's slaves?

BEL AFFRIS (stepping between them). Listen, cousin. Man to man, we Egyptians are as gods above the Romans.

BEL AFFRIS (stepping between them). Listen, cousin. Honestly, we Egyptians are like gods compared to the Romans.

THE GUARDSMEN (exultingly). Aha!

THE GUARDSMEN (excitedly). Aha!

BEL AFFRIS. But this Caesar does not pit man against man: he throws a legion at you where you are weakest as he throws a stone from a catapult; and that legion is as a man with one head, a thousand arms, and no religion. I have fought against them; and I know.

BEL AFFRIS. But this Caesar doesn't send one man to fight another: he throws a legion at you where you're weakest, like hurling a stone from a catapult; and that legion acts like a single entity with one head, a thousand arms, and no beliefs. I've fought against them; I know.

BELZANOR (derisively). Were you frightened, cousin?

BELZANOR (mockingly). Were you scared, cousin?

The guardsmen roar with laughter, their eyes sparkling at the wit of their captain.

The guardsmen burst out laughing, their eyes shining with admiration for their captain's humor.

BEL AFFRIS. No, cousin; but I was beaten. They were frightened (perhaps); but they scattered us like chaff.

BEL AFFRIS. No, cousin; but I was defeated. They were scared (maybe); but they scattered us like nothing.

The guardsmen, much damped, utter a growl of contemptuous disgust.

The guardsmen, clearly annoyed, let out a growl of contempt.

BELZANOR. Could you not die?

BELZANOR. Can’t you just not die?

BEL AFFRIS. No: that was too easy to be worthy of a descendant of the gods. Besides, there was no time: all was over in a moment. The attack came just where we least expected it.

BEL AFFRIS. No: that was too easy to be worthy of a descendant of the gods. Besides, there was no time: everything was over in an instant. The attack came exactly where we least expected it.

BELZANOR. That shews that the Romans are cowards.

BELZANOR. That shows that the Romans are cowards.

BEL AFFRIS. They care nothing about cowardice, these Romans: they fight to win. The pride and honor of war are nothing to them.

BEL AFFRIS. These Romans couldn't care less about being afraid: they fight to win. The pride and honor of war mean nothing to them.

PERSIAN. Tell us the tale of the battle. What befell?

PERSIAN. Tell us the story of the battle. What happened?

THE GUARDSMEN (gathering eagerly round Bel Affris). Ay: the tale of the battle.

THE GUARDSMEN (gathering eagerly around Bel Affris). Yeah: the story of the battle.

BEL AFFRIS. Know then, that I am a novice in the guard of the temple of Ra in Memphis, serving neither Cleopatra nor her brother Ptolemy, but only the high gods. We went a journey to inquire of Ptolemy why he had driven Cleopatra into Syria, and how we of Egypt should deal with the Roman Pompey, newly come to our shores after his defeat by Caesar at Pharsalia. What, think ye, did we learn? Even that Caesar is coming also in hot pursuit of his foe, and that Ptolemy has slain Pompey, whose severed head he holds in readiness to present to the conqueror. (Sensation among the guardsmen.) Nay, more: we found that Caesar is already come; for we had not made half a day’s journey on our way back when we came upon a city rabble flying from his legions, whose landing they had gone out to withstand.

BEL AFFRIS. So, you should know that I’m a new guard at the temple of Ra in Memphis, serving not Cleopatra or her brother Ptolemy, but only the high gods. We took a trip to ask Ptolemy why he had pushed Cleopatra into Syria and how we Egyptians should handle the Roman Pompey, who just arrived on our shores after being defeated by Caesar at Pharsalia. What do you think we found out? That Caesar is also coming after his enemy, and that Ptolemy has killed Pompey, holding his severed head ready to give to the conqueror. (Sensation among the guardsmen.) But there’s more: we discovered that Caesar has already arrived; we had barely traveled half a day on our way back when we encountered a crowd fleeing from his legions, who they had gone out to fight against.

BELZANOR. And ye, the temple guard! Did you not withstand these legions?

BELZANOR. And you, the temple guard! Didn't you stand against these legions?

BEL AFFRIS. What man could, that we did. But there came the sound of a trumpet whose voice was as the cursing of a black mountain. Then saw we a moving wall of shields coming towards us. You know how the heart burns when you charge a fortified wall; but how if the fortified wall were to charge you?

BEL AFFRIS. We did everything a man could do. But then we heard the sound of a trumpet that was as ominous as a curse from a dark mountain. Then we saw a wall of shields moving towards us. You know how your heart races when you charge a defended wall; but what if the fortified wall charged you?

THE PERSIAN (exulting in having told them so). Did I not say it?

THE PERSIAN (proud to have said it). Didn't I say that?

BEL AFFRIS. When the wall came nigh, it changed into a line of men—common fellows enough, with helmets, leather tunics, and breastplates. Every man of them flung his javelin: the one that came my way drove through my shield as through a papyrus—lo there! (he points to the bandage on his left arm) and would have gone through my neck had I not stooped. They were charging at the double then, and were upon us with short swords almost as soon as their javelins. When a man is close to you with such a sword, you can do nothing with our weapons: they are all too long.

BEL AFFRIS. When the wall got close, it turned into a line of soldiers—just regular guys, wearing helmets, leather tunics, and chest armor. Each one threw his javelin: the one that headed my way pierced my shield like it was paper—look! (he points to the bandage on his left arm) and would have gone through my neck if I hadn’t ducked. They were charging at full speed then, and were on us with their short swords almost as quickly as they threw their javelins. When a guy is that close to you with such a sword, you can’t do anything with our weapons: they’re all too long.

THE PERSIAN. What did you do?

THE PERSIAN. What did you do?

BEL AFFRIS. Doubled my fist and smote my Roman on the sharpness of his jaw. He was but mortal after all: he lay down in a stupor; and I took his sword and laid it on. (Drawing the sword) Lo! a Roman sword with Roman blood on it!

BEL AFFRIS. I clenched my fist and hit my Roman on the point of his jaw. He was just human after all: he collapsed in a daze; I took his sword and placed it on him. (Drawing the sword) Look! a Roman sword stained with Roman blood!

THE GUARDSMEN (approvingly). Good! (They take the sword and hand it round, examining it curiously.)

THE GUARDSMEN (approvingly). Good! (They take the sword and pass it around, examining it with curiosity.)

THE PERSIAN. And your men?

THE PERSIAN. What about your guys?

BEL AFFRIS. Fled. Scattered like sheep.

BEL AFFRIS. Fled. Scattered like sheep.

BELZANOR (furiously). The cowardly slaves! Leaving the descendants of the gods to be butchered!

BELZANOR (furiously). Those cowardly slaves! Abandoning the descendants of the gods to be slaughtered!

BEL AFFRIS (with acid coolness). The descendants of the gods did not stay to be butchered, cousin. The battle was not to the strong; but the race was to the swift. The Romans, who have no chariots, sent a cloud of horsemen in pursuit, and slew multitudes. Then our high priest’s captain rallied a dozen descendants of the gods and exhorted us to die fighting. I said to myself: surely it is safer to stand than to lose my breath and be stabbed in the back; so I joined our captain and stood. Then the Romans treated us with respect; for no man attacks a lion when the field is full of sheep, except for the pride and honor of war, of which these Romans know nothing. So we escaped with our lives; and I am come to warn you that you must open your gates to Caesar; for his advance guard is scarce an hour behind me; and not an Egyptian warrior is left standing between you and his legions.

BEL AFFRIS (with an icy calm). The descendants of the gods didn’t stick around to be slaughtered, cousin. The battle wasn’t just for the strong; it was for the fast. The Romans, who don’t have chariots, sent out a swarm of horsemen after us and killed many. Then our high priest’s captain gathered a dozen descendants of the gods and urged us to fight to the death. I thought to myself: surely it’s safer to stand here than to lose my breath and get stabbed in the back; so I joined our captain and held my ground. Then the Romans treated us with respect; because no one attacks a lion when the field is full of sheep, except for the pride and honor of war, which these Romans don’t understand. So we managed to escape with our lives; and I’ve come to warn you that you must open your gates to Caesar; his advance guard is barely an hour behind me; and there’s not a single Egyptian warrior left standing between you and his legions.

THE SENTINEL. Woe, alas! (He throws down his javelin and flies into the palace.)

THE SENTINEL. Oh no! (He throws down his javelin and rushes into the palace.)

BELZANOR. Nail him to the door, quick! (The guardsmen rush for him with their spears; but he is too quick for them.) Now this news will run through the palace like fire through stubble.

BELZANOR. Hurry and nail him to the door! (The guards rush at him with their spears; but he's too fast for them.) Now this news will spread through the palace like wildfire.

BEL AFFRIS. What shall we do to save the women from the Romans?

BEL AFFRIS. What can we do to save the women from the Romans?

BELZANOR. Why not kill them?

BELZANOR. Why not just kill them?

PERSIAN. Because we should have to pay blood money for some of them. Better let the Romans kill them: it is cheaper.

PERSIAN. Because we’d have to pay restitution for some of them. Better to let the Romans take care of it: it’s cheaper.

BELZANOR (awestruck at his brain power). O subtle one! O serpent!

BELZANOR (amazed by his intelligence). Oh, clever one! Oh, sly one!

BEL AFFRIS. But your Queen?

BEL AFFRIS. But your queen?

BELZANOR. True: we must carry off Cleopatra.

BELZANOR. That's right: we need to take Cleopatra away.

BEL AFFRIS. Will ye not await her command?

BEL AFFRIS. Will you not wait for her command?

BELZANOR. Command! a girl of sixteen! Not we. At Memphis ye deem her a Queen: here we know better. I will take her on the crupper of my horse. When we soldiers have carried her out of Caesar’s reach, then the priests and the nurses and the rest of them can pretend she is a queen again, and put their commands into her mouth.

BELZANOR. Command! A girl of sixteen! Not us. In Memphis, you think of her as a Queen: here, we see it differently. I'll take her on the back of my horse. Once we soldiers have gotten her out of Caesar’s reach, then the priests, nurses, and everyone else can act like she's a queen again and put words in her mouth.

PERSIAN. Listen to me, Belzanor.

PERSIAN. Listen to me, Belzanor.

BELZANOR. Speak, O subtle beyond thy years.

BELZANOR. Talk, oh wise one beyond your years.

THE PERSIAN. Cleopatra’s brother Ptolemy is at war with her. Let us sell her to him.

THE PERSIAN. Cleopatra’s brother Ptolemy is fighting against her. Let’s sell her to him.

THE GUARDSMEN. O subtle one! O serpent!

THE GUARDSMEN. Oh, crafty one! Oh, snake!

BELZANOR. We dare not. We are descended from the gods; but Cleopatra is descended from the river Nile; and the lands of our fathers will grow no grain if the Nile rises not to water them. Without our father’s gifts we should live the lives of dogs.

BELZANOR. We can't take that risk. We're descended from the gods, but Cleopatra comes from the river Nile, and our ancestors' lands won’t produce any crops unless the Nile floods to water them. Without our father's blessings, we would live like dogs.

PERSIAN. It is true: the Queen’s guard cannot live on its pay. But hear me further, O ye kinsmen of Osiris.

PERSIAN. It's true: the Queen’s guard can’t survive on their salary. But listen to me more, O you relatives of Osiris.

THE GUARDSMEN. Speak, O subtle one. Hear the serpent begotten!

THE GUARDSMEN. Speak, O cunning one. Listen to the serpent born!

PERSIAN. Have I heretofore spoken truly to you of Caesar, when you thought I mocked you?

PERSIAN. Have I not spoken the truth about Caesar before, when you thought I was making fun of you?

GUARDSMEN. Truly, truly.

GUARDSMEN. For real, for real.

BELZANOR (reluctantly admitting it). So Bel Affris says.

BELZANOR (reluctantly admitting it). So Bel Affris claims.

PERSIAN. Hear more of him, then. This Caesar is a great lover of women: he makes them his friends and counselors.

PERSIAN. Let’s hear more about him then. This Caesar really loves women; he makes them his friends and advisors.

BELZANOR. Faugh! This rule of women will be the ruin of Egypt.

BELZANOR. Ugh! This rule by women is going to ruin Egypt.

THE PERSIAN. Let it rather be the ruin of Rome! Caesar grows old now: he is past fifty and full of labors and battles. He is too old for the young women; and the old women are too wise to worship him.

THE PERSIAN. Better it be the downfall of Rome! Caesar is getting old now: he’s over fifty and has had his share of hard work and wars. He’s too old for the young women, and the older women are too smart to idolize him.

BEL AFFRIS. Take heed, Persian. Caesar is by this time almost within earshot.

BEL AFFRIS. Listen up, Persian. Caesar is now almost within earshot.

PERSIAN. Cleopatra is not yet a woman: neither is she wise. But she already troubles men’s wisdom.

PERSIAN. Cleopatra isn't a woman yet: she's not wise either. But she already confuses men’s wisdom.

BELZANOR. Ay: that is because she is descended from the river Nile and a black kitten of the sacred White Cat. What then?

BELZANOR. Yeah, that's because she comes from the Nile River and a black kitten of the sacred White Cat. So what?

PERSIAN. Why, sell her secretly to Ptolemy, and then offer ourselves to Caesar as volunteers to fight for the overthrow of her brother and the rescue of our Queen, the Great Granddaughter of the Nile.

PERSIAN. Why not sell her off quietly to Ptolemy, and then present ourselves to Caesar as volunteers to fight against her brother and to rescue our Queen, the Great Granddaughter of the Nile?

THE GUARDSMEN. O serpent!

THE GUARDSMEN. Oh snake!

PERSIAN. He will listen to us if we come with her picture in our mouths. He will conquer and kill her brother, and reign in Egypt with Cleopatra for his Queen. And we shall be her guard.

PERSIAN. He'll pay attention if we come with her image in our minds. He'll defeat and kill her brother and rule in Egypt with Cleopatra as his Queen. And we'll be her protectors.

GUARDSMEN. O subtlest of all the serpents! O admiration! O wisdom!

GUARDSMEN. Oh, the most cunning of all the snakes! Oh, how amazing! Oh, the wisdom!

BEL AFFRIS. He will also have arrived before you have done talking, O word spinner.

BEL AFFRIS. He will also have arrived before you finish talking, O word spinner.

BELZANOR. That is true. (An affrighted uproar in the palace interrupts him.) Quick: the flight has begun: guard the door. (They rush to the door and form a cordon before it with their spears. A mob of women-servants and nurses surges out. Those in front recoil from the spears, screaming to those behind to keep back. Belzanor’s voice dominates the disturbance as he shouts) Back there. In again, unprofitable cattle.

BELZANOR. That’s true. (A terrified uproar in the palace interrupts him.) Quick: the escape has started: block the door. (They rush to the door and form a line in front of it with their spears. A crowd of women servants and nurses bursts out. Those in front back away from the spears, screaming to those behind to stay back. Belzanor’s voice cuts through the chaos as he shouts) Back there. Get back inside, useless cattle.

THE GUARDSMEN. Back, unprofitable cattle.

THE GUARDSMEN. Back, useless cattle.

BELZANOR. Send us out Ftatateeta, the Queen’s chief nurse.

BELZANOR. Send us Ftatateeta, the Queen's head nurse.

THE WOMEN (calling into the palace). Ftatateeta, Ftatateeta. Come, come. Speak to Belzanor.

THE WOMEN (calling into the palace). Ftatateeta, Ftatateeta. Come on, come on. Talk to Belzanor.

A WOMAN. Oh, keep back. You are thrusting me on the spearheads.

A WOMAN. Oh, hold back. You're pushing me onto the spearheads.

A huge grim woman, her face covered with a network of tiny wrinkles, and her eyes old, large, and wise; sinewy handed, very tall, very strong; with the mouth of a bloodhound and the jaws of a bulldog, appears on the threshold. She is dressed like a person of consequence in the palace, and confronts the guardsmen insolently.

A huge, harsh woman, her face marked with a web of small wrinkles, and her eyes wise, large, and old; with strong hands, very tall, very muscular; with a bloodhound's mouth and a bulldog's jaw, steps onto the threshold. She is dressed like an important person from the palace and faces the guards with defiance.

FTATATEETA. Make way for the Queen’s chief nurse.

FTATATEETA. Make way for the Queen's head nurse.

BELZANOR (with solemn arrogance). Ftatateeta: I am Belzanor, the captain of the Queen’s guard, descended from the gods.

BELZANOR (with solemn arrogance). Ftatateeta: I am Belzanor, the captain of the Queen’s guard, descended from the gods.

FTATATEETA (retorting his arrogance with interest). Belzanor: I am Ftatateeta, the Queen’s chief nurse; and your divine ancestors were proud to be painted on the wall in the pyramids of the kings whom my fathers served.

FTATATEETA (retorting his arrogance with interest). Belzanor: I am Ftatateeta, the Queen’s chief nurse; and your divine ancestors were proud to be depicted on the walls of the pyramids of the kings my family served.

The women laugh triumphantly.

The women laugh victoriously.

BELZANOR (with grim humor). Ftatateeta: daughter of a long-tongued, swivel-eyed chameleon, the Romans are at hand. (A cry of terror from the women: they would fly but for the spears.) Not even the descendants of the gods can resist them; for they have each man seven arms, each carrying seven spears. The blood in their veins is boiling quicksilver; and their wives become mothers in three hours, and are slain and eaten the next day.

BELZANOR (with grim humor). Ftatateeta: daughter of a long-tongued, swivel-eyed chameleon, the Romans are here. (A cry of terror from the women: they would run away if it weren't for the spears.) Not even the descendants of the gods can withstand them; each man has seven arms, each holding seven spears. The blood in their veins boils like quicksilver; and their wives become mothers in three hours, only to be killed and eaten the next day.

A shudder of horror from the women. Ftatateeta, despising them and scorning the soldiers, pushes her way through the crowd and confronts the spear points undismayed.

The women shudder in horror. Ftatateeta, looking down on them and ridiculing the soldiers, pushes her way through the crowd and faces the spear tips without fear.

FTATATEETA. Then fly and save yourselves, O cowardly sons of the cheap clay gods that are sold to fish porters; and leave us to shift for ourselves.

FTATATEETA. Then fly and save yourselves, you cowardly sons of cheap clay gods that are sold to fish porters; and leave us to fend for ourselves.

BELZANOR. Not until you have first done our bidding, O terror of manhood. Bring out Cleopatra the Queen to us and then go whither you will.

BELZANOR. Not until you've done what we ask, O terror of manhood. Bring out Cleopatra the Queen for us, and then you can go wherever you want.

FTATATEETA (with a derisive laugh). Now I know why the gods have taken her out of our hands. (The guardsmen start and look at one another). Know, thou foolish soldier, that the Queen has been missing since an hour past sun down.

FTATATEETA (with a mocking laugh). Now I understand why the gods have pulled her away from us. (The guardsmen start and look at one another). Listen, you foolish soldier, the Queen has been missing since an hour after sunset.

BELZANOR (furiously). Hag: you have hidden her to sell to Caesar or her brother. (He grasps her by the left wrist, and drags her, helped by a few of the guard, to the middle of the courtyard, where, as they fling her on her knees, he draws a murderous looking knife.) Where is she? Where is she? or— (He threatens to cut her throat.)

BELZANOR (furiously). Witch: you’ve hidden her to sell her to Caesar or her brother. (He grabs her by the left wrist and drags her, with the help of a few guards, to the middle of the courtyard, where they throw her onto her knees, and he pulls out a knife that looks like it could kill.) Where is she? Where is she? Or— (He threatens to cut her throat.)

FTATATEETA (savagely). Touch me, dog; and the Nile will not rise on your fields for seven times seven years of famine.

FTATATEETA (savagely). Touch me, dog; and the Nile won’t rise in your fields for seven times seven years of famine.

BELZANOR (frightened, but desperate). I will sacrifice: I will pay. Or stay. (To the Persian) You, O subtle one: your father’s lands lie far from the Nile. Slay her.

BELZANOR (frightened, but desperate). I’ll make a sacrifice: I'll pay up. Or stay. (To the Persian) You, clever one: your father's lands are far from the Nile. Kill her.

PERSIAN (threatening her with his knife). Persia has but one god; yet he loves the blood of old women. Where is Cleopatra?

PERSIAN (threatening her with his knife). Persia has only one god; yet he loves the blood of old women. Where is Cleopatra?

FTATATEETA. Persian: as Osiris lives, I do not know. I chid her for bringing evil days upon us by talking to the sacred cats of the priests, and carrying them in her arms. I told her she would be left alone here when the Romans came as a punishment for her disobedience. And now she is gone—run away—hidden. I speak the truth. I call Osiris to witness——

FTATATEETA. Persian: as Osiris lives, I have no idea. I scolded her for bringing trouble upon us by talking to the priests' sacred cats and carrying them in her arms. I warned her that when the Romans arrived, she would be left all alone here as a punishment for her disobedience. And now she is gone—she's run away—hiding. I'm telling the truth. I call Osiris to witness——

THE WOMEN (protesting officiously). She speaks the truth, Belzanor.

THE WOMEN (protesting formally). She’s telling the truth, Belzanor.

BELZANOR. You have frightened the child: she is hiding. Search—quick—into the palace—search every corner.

BELZANOR. You’ve scared the child; she’s hiding. Search—quick—through the palace—check every corner.

The guards, led by Belzanor, shoulder their way into the palace through the flying crowd of women, who escape through the courtyard gate.

The guards, led by Belzanor, push their way into the palace through the rushing crowd of women, who are fleeing through the courtyard gate.

FTATATEETA (screaming). Sacrilege! Men in the Queen’s chambers! Sa— (Her voice dies away as the Persian puts his knife to her throat.)

FTATATEETA (screaming). This is outrageous! Men in the Queen’s chambers! Sa— (Her voice fades as the Persian presses his knife to her throat.)

BEL AFFRIS (laying a hand on Ftatateeta’s left shoulder). Forbear her yet a moment, Persian. (To Ftatateeta, very significantly) Mother: your gods are asleep or away hunting; and the sword is at your throat. Bring us to where the Queen is hid, and you shall live.

BEL AFFRIS (laying a hand on Ftatateeta’s left shoulder). Wait a moment, Persian. (To Ftatateeta, very significantly) Mother: your gods are either asleep or off hunting; and the sword is at your throat. Take us to where the Queen is hidden, and you will live.

FTATATEETA (contemptuously). Who shall stay the sword in the hand of a fool, if the high gods put it there? Listen to me, ye young men without understanding. Cleopatra fears me; but she fears the Romans more. There is but one power greater in her eyes than the wrath of the Queen’s nurse and the cruelty of Caesar; and that is the power of the Sphinx that sits in the desert watching the way to the sea. What she would have it know, she tells into the ears of the sacred cats; and on her birthday she sacrifices to it and decks it with poppies. Go ye therefore into the desert and seek Cleopatra in the shadow of the Sphinx; and on your heads see to it that no harm comes to her.

FTATATEETA (contemptuously). Who can stop a fool from swinging a sword if the gods placed it in his hands? Listen up, you inexperienced young men. Cleopatra fears me, but she's scared of the Romans even more. There’s only one thing she sees as more powerful than the anger of her nurse and Caesar’s cruelty, and that’s the Sphinx sitting in the desert, watching the path to the sea. What she wants it to know, she whispers in the ears of the sacred cats; and on her birthday, she makes sacrifices to it and decorates it with poppies. So go into the desert and find Cleopatra in the shadow of the Sphinx; and make sure no harm comes to her.

BEL AFFRIS (to the Persian). May we believe this, O subtle one?

BEL AFFRIS (to the Persian). Can we trust this, O clever one?

PERSIAN. Which way come the Romans?

PERSIAN. Which way are the Romans coming?

BEL AFFRIS. Over the desert, from the sea, by this very Sphinx.

BEL AFFRIS. Across the desert, from the sea, right by this Sphinx.

PERSIAN (to Ftatateeta). O mother of guile! O aspic’s tongue! You have made up this tale so that we two may go into the desert and perish on the spears of the Romans. (Lifting his knife) Taste death.

PERSIAN (to Ftatateeta). Oh, mother of deceit! Oh, snake's tongue! You've crafted this story so we can head into the desert and die on the Romans' spears. (Lifting his knife) Face death.

FTATATEETA. Not from thee, baby. (She snatches his ankle from under him and flies stooping along the palace wall, vanishing in the darkness within its precinct. Bel Affris roars with laughter as the Persian tumbles. The guardsmen rush out of the palace with Belzanor and a mob of fugitives, mostly carrying bundles.)

FTATATEETA. Not from you, baby. (She grabs his ankle and swoops along the palace wall, disappearing into the darkness inside. Bel Affris bursts out laughing as the Persian falls. The guards rush out of the palace with Belzanor and a crowd of escapees, most carrying bundles.)

PERSIAN. Have you found Cleopatra?

PERSIAN. Have you located Cleopatra?

BELZANOR. She is gone. We have searched every corner.

BELZANOR. She’s gone. We’ve looked everywhere.

THE NUBIAN SENTINEL (appearing at the door of the palace). Woe! Alas! Fly, fly!

THE NUBIAN SENTINEL (appearing at the door of the palace). Oh no! What a disaster! Run, run!

BELZANOR. What is the matter now?

BELZANOR. What's happening now?

THE NUBIAN SENTINEL. The sacred white cat has been stolen.

THE NUBIAN SENTINEL. The sacred white cat has been taken.

ALL. Woe! Woe! (General panic. They all fly with cries of consternation. The torch is thrown down and extinguished in the rush. Darkness. The noise of the fugitives dies away. Dead silence. Suspense. Then the blackness and stillness breaks softly into silver mist and strange airs as the windswept harp of Memnon plays at the dawning of the moon. It rises full over the desert; and a vast horizon comes into relief, broken by a huge shape which soon reveals itself in the spreading radiance as a Sphinx pedestalled on the sands. The light still clears, until the upraised eyes of the image are distinguished looking straight forward and upward in infinite fearless vigil, and a mass of color between its great paws defines itself as a heap of red poppies on which a girl lies motionless, her silken vest heaving gently and regularly with the breathing of a dreamless sleeper, and her braided hair glittering in a shaft of moonlight like a bird’s wing.

ALL. Oh no! Oh no! (General panic. They all run away, screaming in fear. The torch is dropped and goes out in the chaos. Darkness. The sound of the escaping people fades away. Total silence. Tension. Then the darkness and stillness gently transform into silver mist and strange sounds as the windswept harp of Memnon plays at moonrise. The moon rises fully over the desert; a vast horizon comes into view, interrupted by a massive shape that soon reveals itself in the spreading light as a Sphinx standing on the sands. The light continues to brighten until the lifted eyes of the statue can be seen looking straight ahead and upward in fearless vigilance, and a mass of color between its large paws becomes clear as a pile of red poppies on which a girl lies motionless, her silk tunic gently rising and falling as she breathes like a dreamless sleeper, and her braided hair sparkling in a beam of moonlight like a bird's wing.

Suddenly there comes from afar a vaguely fearful sound (it might be the bellow of a Minotaur softened by great distance) and Memnon’s music stops. Silence: then a few faint high-ringing trumpet notes. Then silence again. Then a man comes from the south with stealing steps, ravished by the mystery of the night, all wonder, and halts, lost in contemplation, opposite the left flank of the Sphinx, whose bosom, with its burden, is hidden from him by its massive shoulder.)

Suddenly, a distant, somewhat frightening sound drifts in (it could be the distant roar of a Minotaur) and Memnon’s music fades. Silence follows, then a few soft, high trumpet notes. Then there's silence again. A man approaches from the south, moving quietly, enchanted by the night’s mystery, filled with wonder, and he stops, lost in thought, in front of the left side of the Sphinx, whose chest, along with its load, is obscured from his view by its huge shoulder.

THE MAN. Hail, Sphinx: salutation from Julius Caesar! I have wandered in many lands, seeking the lost regions from which my birth into this world exiled me, and the company of creatures such as I myself. I have found flocks and pastures, men and cities, but no other Caesar, no air native to me, no man kindred to me, none who can do my day’s deed, and think my night’s thought. In the little world yonder, Sphinx, my place is as high as yours in this great desert; only I wander, and you sit still; I conquer, and you endure; I work and wonder, you watch and wait; I look up and am dazzled, look down and am darkened, look round and am puzzled, whilst your eyes never turn from looking out—out of the world—to the lost region—the home from which we have strayed. Sphinx, you and I, strangers to the race of men, are no strangers to one another: have I not been conscious of you and of this place since I was born? Rome is a madman’s dream: this is my Reality. These starry lamps of yours I have seen from afar in Gaul, in Britain, in Spain, in Thessaly, signalling great secrets to some eternal sentinel below, whose post I never could find. And here at last is their sentinel—an image of the constant and immortal part of my life, silent, full of thoughts, alone in the silver desert. Sphinx, Sphinx: I have climbed mountains at night to hear in the distance the stealthy footfall of the winds that chase your sands in forbidden play—our invisible children, O Sphinx, laughing in whispers. My way hither was the way of destiny; for I am he of whose genius you are the symbol: part brute, part woman, and part God—nothing of man in me at all. Have I read your riddle, Sphinx?

THE MAN. Hey, Sphinx: greetings from Julius Caesar! I've traveled through many lands, looking for the lost places from which my birth into this world has separated me, and for beings like myself. I've found flocks and pastures, men and cities, but no other Caesar, no air that feels like home, no one who can perform my daily tasks or share my nighttime thoughts. In that little world over there, Sphinx, my place is as high as yours in this vast desert; I roam, and you stay still; I conquer, and you endure; I work and wonder, while you watch and wait; I look up and feel dazzled, look down and feel darkness, look around and feel confused, while your gaze never shifts from looking out—out of this world—to the lost region—the home we've wandered away from. Sphinx, you and I, both outsiders to humanity, are not strangers to each other: have I not been aware of you and this place since I was born? Rome is a madman's fantasy: this is my Reality. I've seen your starry lights from afar in Gaul, in Britain, in Spain, in Thessaly, signaling great secrets to some eternal watcher below, whose post I could never find. And here at last is their sentinel—an image of the constant and immortal part of my life, silent, full of thoughts, alone in the silver desert. Sphinx, Sphinx: I've climbed mountains at night to hear in the distance the quiet footsteps of the winds that play with your sands—our invisible children, O Sphinx, laughing in whispers. My way here was the path of destiny; for I am the one of whom your essence is the symbol: part beast, part woman, and part God—nothing human in me at all. Have I unraveled your riddle, Sphinx?

THE GIRL (who has wakened, and peeped cautiously from her nest to see who is speaking). Old gentleman.

THE GIRL (who has woken up and peeked carefully from her nest to see who is talking). Old gentleman.

CAESAR (starting violently, and clutching his sword). Immortal gods!

CAESAR (starting violently, and clutching his sword). Immortal gods!

THE GIRL. Old gentleman: don’t run away.

THE GIRL. Sir: please don’t run away.

CAESAR (stupefied). “Old gentleman: don’t run away!!!” This! To Julius Caesar!

CAESAR (stunned). “Old man: don’t run away!!!” This! To Julius Caesar!

THE GIRL (urgently). Old gentleman.

THE GIRL (urgently). Elderly man.

CAESAR. Sphinx: you presume on your centuries. I am younger than you, though your voice is but a girl’s voice as yet.

CAESAR. Sphinx: you rely on your age. I’m younger than you, even though your voice is still that of a girl.

THE GIRL. Climb up here, quickly; or the Romans will come and eat you.

THE GIRL. Hurry up and get over here; or the Romans are going to come and get you.

CAESAR (running forward past the Sphinx’s shoulder, and seeing her). A child at its breast! A divine child!

CAESAR (running forward past the Sphinx’s shoulder, and seeing her). A child at her breast! A beautiful child!

THE GIRL. Come up quickly. You must get up at its side and creep round.

THE GIRL. Hurry up. You need to get up next to it and sneak around.

CAESAR (amazed). Who are you?

CAESAR (amazed). Who are you?

THE GIRL. Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt.

THE GIRL. Cleopatra, the Queen of Egypt.

CAESAR. Queen of the Gypsies, you mean.

CAESAR. You mean Queen of the Gypsies.

CLEOPATRA. You must not be disrespectful to me, or the Sphinx will let the Romans eat you. Come up. It is quite cosy here.

CLEOPATRA. You shouldn't be disrespectful to me, or the Sphinx will let the Romans get you. Come on up. It’s pretty comfy here.

CAESAR (to himself). What a dream! What a magnificent dream! Only let me not wake, and I will conquer ten continents to pay for dreaming it out to the end. (He climbs to the Sphinx’s flank, and presently reappears to her on the pedestal, stepping round its right shoulder.)

CAESAR (to himself). What a dream! What an amazing dream! Just let me not wake up, and I’ll conquer ten continents to make up for dreaming it all the way through. (He climbs to the Sphinx’s side, and soon appears to her on the pedestal, stepping around its right shoulder.)

CLEOPATRA. Take care. That’s right. Now sit down: you may have its other paw. (She seats herself comfortably on its left paw.) It is very powerful and will protect us; but (shivering, and with plaintive loneliness) it would not take any notice of me or keep me company. I am glad you have come: I was very lonely. Did you happen to see a white cat anywhere?

CLEOPATRA. Be careful. That’s right. Now sit down; you can have its other paw. (She sits comfortably on its left paw.) It’s really strong and will keep us safe; but (shivering, feeling very lonely) it wouldn’t pay any attention to me or keep me company. I’m glad you’re here: I felt really lonely. Did you happen to see a white cat around?

CAESAR (sitting slowly down on the right paw in extreme wonderment). Have you lost one?

CAESAR (sitting slowly down on the right paw in extreme wonderment). Have you lost one?

CLEOPATRA. Yes: the sacred white cat: is it not dreadful? I brought him here to sacrifice him to the Sphinx; but when we got a little way from the city a black cat called him, and he jumped out of my arms and ran away to it. Do you think that the black cat can have been my great-great-great-grandmother?

CLEOPATRA. Yes: the sacred white cat: isn't it terrible? I brought him here to sacrifice him to the Sphinx; but when we got a little way from the city, a black cat called to him, and he jumped out of my arms and ran off to it. Do you think that the black cat could have been my great-great-great-grandmother?

CAESAR (staring at her). Your great-great-great-grandmother! Well, why not? Nothing would surprise me on this night of nights.

CAESAR (staring at her). Your great-great-great-grandmother! Well, why not? Nothing would shock me on this night of nights.

CLEOPATRA. I think it must have been. My great-grandmother’s great-grandmother was a black kitten of the sacred white cat; and the river Nile made her his seventh wife. That is why my hair is so wavy. And I always want to be let do as I like, no matter whether it is the will of the gods or not: that is because my blood is made with Nile water.

CLEOPATRA. I think it must be true. My great-grandmother’s great-grandmother was a black kitten of the sacred white cat; and the Nile River made her his seventh wife. That’s why my hair is so wavy. And I always want to be able to do what I want, regardless of whether it’s the will of the gods or not: that’s because my blood is mixed with Nile water.

CAESAR. What are you doing here at this time of night? Do you live here?

CAESAR. What are you doing here at this hour? Do you live around here?

CLEOPATRA. Of course not: I am the Queen; and I shall live in the palace at Alexandria when I have killed my brother, who drove me out of it. When I am old enough I shall do just what I like. I shall be able to poison the slaves and see them wriggle, and pretend to Ftatateeta that she is going to be put into the fiery furnace.

CLEOPATRA. Of course not: I’m the Queen, and I’ll live in the palace in Alexandria once I’ve dealt with my brother, who pushed me out of it. When I’m old enough, I’ll do whatever I want. I’ll be able to poison the slaves and watch them squirm, and pretend to Ftatateeta that she’s about to be thrown into the fiery furnace.

CAESAR. Hm! Meanwhile why are you not at home and in bed?

CAESAR. Hm! Why aren’t you at home and in bed?

CLEOPATRA. Because the Romans are coming to eat us all. You are not at home and in bed either.

CLEOPATRA. Because the Romans are coming to take us all down. You aren't at home or in bed either.

CAESAR (with conviction). Yes I am. I live in a tent; and I am now in that tent, fast asleep and dreaming. Do you suppose that I believe you are real, you impossible little dream witch?

CAESAR (with conviction). Yes, I am. I live in a tent, and I’m currently in that tent, sound asleep and dreaming. Do you really think I believe you’re real, you silly little dream witch?

CLEOPATRA (giggling and leaning trustfully towards him). You are a funny old gentleman. I like you.

CLEOPATRA (giggling and leaning trustfully towards him). You’re a funny old guy. I like you.

CAESAR. Ah, that spoils the dream. Why don’t you dream that I am young?

CAESAR. Ah, that ruins the dream. Why don’t you dream that I’m young?

CLEOPATRA. I wish you were; only I think I should be more afraid of you. I like men, especially young men with round strong arms; but I am afraid of them. You are old and rather thin and stringy; but you have a nice voice; and I like to have somebody to talk to, though I think you are a little mad. It is the moon that makes you talk to yourself in that silly way.

CLEOPATRA. I wish you were; but honestly, I feel like I’d be more scared of you. I like men, especially young ones with strong, muscular arms; but they make me nervous. You’re older and a bit skinny, but you have a nice voice; and I enjoy having someone to chat with, even if you do seem a little crazy. It’s the moon that makes you talk to yourself like that.

CAESAR. What! you heard that, did you? I was saying my prayers to the great Sphinx.

CAESAR. What! You heard that, right? I was saying my prayers to the great Sphinx.

CLEOPATRA. But this isn’t the great Sphinx.

CLEOPATRA. But this isn’t the great Sphinx.

CAESAR (much disappointed, looking up at the statue). What!

CAESAR (very disappointed, looking up at the statue). What!

CLEOPATRA. This is only a dear little kitten of the Sphinx. Why, the great Sphinx is so big that it has a temple between its paws. This is my pet Sphinx. Tell me: do you think the Romans have any sorcerers who could take us away from the Sphinx by magic?

CLEOPATRA. This is just a cute little kitten of the Sphinx. The great Sphinx is so massive that it has a temple between its paws. This is my pet Sphinx. Tell me, do you think the Romans have any sorcerers who could magically take us away from the Sphinx?

CAESAR. Why? Are you afraid of the Romans?

CAESAR. Why? Are you scared of the Romans?

CLEOPATRA (very seriously). Oh, they would eat us if they caught us. They are barbarians. Their chief is called Julius Caesar. His father was a tiger and his mother a burning mountain; and his nose is like an elephant’s trunk. (Caesar involuntarily rubs his nose.) They all have long noses, and ivory tusks, and little tails, and seven arms with a hundred arrows in each; and they live on human flesh.

CLEOPATRA (very seriously). Oh, they would eat us if they caught us. They’re barbarians. Their leader is named Julius Caesar. His dad was a tiger and his mom a flaming mountain; and his nose looks like an elephant’s trunk. (Caesar involuntarily rubs his nose.) They all have long noses, ivory tusks, little tails, and seven arms, each with a hundred arrows; and they eat human flesh.

CAESAR. Would you like me to shew you a real Roman?

CAESAR. Would you like me to show you a true Roman?

CLEOPATRA (terrified). No. You are frightening me.

CLEOPATRA (terrified). No. You’re scaring me.

CAESAR. No matter: this is only a dream——

CAESAR. It doesn't matter: this is just a dream——

CLEOPATRA (excitedly). It is not a dream: it is not a dream. See, see. (She plucks a pin from her hair and jabs it repeatedly into his arm.)

CLEOPATRA (excitedly). It’s not a dream: it’s not a dream. Look, look. (She takes a pin from her hair and pokes it into his arm repeatedly.)

CAESAR. Ffff—Stop. (Wrathfully) How dare you?

CAESAR. Ffff—Stop. (Angrily) How could you?

CLEOPATRA (abashed). You said you were dreaming. (Whimpering) I only wanted to shew you——

CLEOPATRA (embarrassed). You said you were dreaming. (whimpering) I just wanted to show you——

CAESAR (gently). Come, come: don’t cry. A queen mustn’t cry. (He rubs his arm, wondering at the reality of the smart.) Am I awake? (He strikes his hand against the Sphinx to test its solidity. It feels so real that he begins to be alarmed, and says perplexedly) Yes, I—(quite panic-stricken) no: impossible: madness, madness! (Desperately) Back to camp—to camp. (He rises to spring down from the pedestal.)

CAESAR (gently). Come on, don’t cry. A queen shouldn’t cry. (He rubs his arm, puzzled by the pain.) Am I awake? (He hits his hand against the Sphinx to check its solidity. It feels so real that he starts to panic and says confusedly) Yes, I—(completely panic-stricken) no: impossible: madness, madness! (Desperately) Back to camp—to camp. (He gets ready to jump down from the pedestal.)

CLEOPATRA (flinging her arms in terror round him). No: you shan’t leave me. No, no, no: don’t go. I’m afraid—afraid of the Romans.

CLEOPATRA (flinging her arms in terror around him). No: you can’t leave me. No, no, no: don’t go. I’m scared—scared of the Romans.

CAESAR (as the conviction that he is really awake forces itself on him). Cleopatra: can you see my face well?

CAESAR (as he becomes convinced that he is truly awake). Cleopatra: Can you see my face clearly?

CLEOPATRA. Yes. It is so white in the moonlight.

CLEOPATRA. Yes. It looks so white in the moonlight.

CAESAR. Are you sure it is the moonlight that makes me look whiter than an Egyptian? (Grimly) Do you notice that I have a rather long nose?

CAESAR. Are you sure it's the moonlight that's making me look whiter than an Egyptian? (Grimly) Do you see that I have a pretty long nose?

CLEOPATRA (recoiling, paralyzed by a terrible suspicion). Oh!

CLEOPATRA (recoiling, frozen by a horrifying doubt). Oh!

CAESAR. It is a Roman nose, Cleopatra.

CAESAR. It's a Roman nose, Cleopatra.

CLEOPATRA. Ah! (With a piercing scream she springs up; darts round the left shoulder of the Sphinx; scrambles down to the sand; and falls on her knees in frantic supplication, shrieking) Bite him in two, Sphinx: bite him in two. I meant to sacrifice the white cat—I did indeed—I (Caesar, who has slipped down from the pedestal, touches her on the shoulder) Ah! (She buries her head in her arms.)

CLEOPATRA. Ah! (With a sharp scream, she jumps up; rushes around the left side of the Sphinx; scrambles down to the sand; and falls to her knees in desperate pleading, shouting) Bite him in half, Sphinx: bite him in half. I meant to sacrifice the white cat—I really did—I (Caesar, who has climbed down from the pedestal, touches her on the shoulder) Ah! (She hides her head in her arms.)

CAESAR. Cleopatra: shall I teach you a way to prevent Caesar from eating you?

CAESAR. Cleopatra: should I show you how to stop Caesar from consuming you?

CLEOPATRA (clinging to him piteously). Oh do, do, do. I will steal Ftatateeta’s jewels and give them to you. I will make the river Nile water your lands twice a year.

CLEOPATRA (clinging to him piteously). Oh please, please, please. I will take Ftatateeta’s jewels and give them to you. I will make the Nile flood your lands twice a year.

CAESAR. Peace, peace, my child. Your gods are afraid of the Romans: you see the Sphinx dare not bite me, nor prevent me carrying you off to Julius Caesar.

CAESAR. Calm down, my child. Your gods are scared of the Romans: you see the Sphinx doesn’t dare bite me or stop me from taking you to Julius Caesar.

CLEOPATRA (in pleading murmurings). You won’t, you won’t. You said you wouldn’t.

CLEOPATRA (in pleading murmurings). You won't, you won't. You said you wouldn't.

CAESAR. Caesar never eats women.

CAESAR. Caesar doesn't eat women.

CLEOPATRA (springing up full of hope). What!

CLEOPATRA (springing up full of hope). What!

CAESAR (impressively). But he eats girls (she relapses) and cats. Now you are a silly little girl; and you are descended from the black kitten. You are both a girl and a cat.

CAESAR (impressively). But he eats girls (she relapses) and cats. Now you are a silly little girl; and you come from the black kitten. You are both a girl and a cat.

CLEOPATRA (trembling). And will he eat me?

CLEOPATRA (trembling). Will he really eat me?

CAESAR. Yes; unless you make him believe that you are a woman.

CAESAR. Yeah; unless you convince him that you’re a woman.

CLEOPATRA. Oh, you must get a sorcerer to make a woman of me. Are you a sorcerer?

CLEOPATRA. Oh, you have to get a magician to turn me into a woman. Are you a magician?

CAESAR. Perhaps. But it will take a long time; and this very night you must stand face to face with Caesar in the palace of your fathers.

CAESAR. Maybe. But it will take a while; and tonight you have to face Caesar in your family's palace.

CLEOPATRA. No, no. I daren’t.

CLEOPATRA. No, no. I can't.

CAESAR. Whatever dread may be in your soul—however terrible Caesar may be to you—you must confront him as a brave woman and a great queen; and you must feel no fear. If your hand shakes: if your voice quavers; then—night and death! (She moans.) But if he thinks you worthy to rule, he will set you on the throne by his side and make you the real ruler of Egypt.

CAESAR. No matter how scared you are—no matter how intimidating Caesar seems to you—you have to face him like the brave woman and great queen you are; you must not be afraid. If your hand trembles: if your voice shakes; then it’s all over! (She moans.) But if he sees you as worthy to rule, he will place you on the throne next to him and make you the true ruler of Egypt.

CLEOPATRA (despairingly). No: he will find me out: he will find me out.

CLEOPATRA (despairingly). No: he's going to figure it out: he's going to figure it out.

CAESAR (rather mournfully). He is easily deceived by women. Their eyes dazzle him; and he sees them not as they are, but as he wishes them to appear to him.

CAESAR (rather sadly). He is easily fooled by women. Their eyes dazzle him, and he doesn't see them as they are, but as he wants them to be.

CLEOPATRA (hopefully). Then we will cheat him. I will put on Ftatateeta’s head-dress; and he will think me quite an old woman.

CLEOPATRA (hopefully). Then we’ll trick him. I’ll wear Ftatateeta’s headpiece, and he’ll think I’m just an old woman.

CAESAR. If you do that he will eat you at one mouthful.

CAESAR. If you do that, he'll swallow you whole.

CLEOPATRA. But I will give him a cake with my magic opal and seven hairs of the white cat baked in it; and——

CLEOPATRA. But I will give him a cake with my magic opal and seven hairs of the white cat baked into it; and——

CAESAR (abruptly). Pah! you are a little fool. He will eat your cake and you too. (He turns contemptuously from her.)

CAESAR (abruptly). Ugh! You're such a fool. He’ll take your cake and you along with it. (He turns away from her in disdain.)

CLEOPATRA (running after him and clinging to him). Oh, please, please! I will do whatever you tell me. I will be good! I will be your slave. (Again the terrible bellowing note sounds across the desert, now closer at hand. It is the bucina, the Roman war trumpet.)

CLEOPATRA (running after him and clinging to him). Oh, please, please! I will do whatever you say. I'll be good! I'll be your servant. (Again the terrible bellowing note sounds across the desert, now closer at hand. It is the bucina, the Roman war trumpet.)

CAESAR. Hark!

Listen up!

CLEOPATRA (trembling). What was that?

CLEOPATRA (shaking). What was that?

CAESAR. Caesar’s voice.

CAESAR. Caesar's voice.

CLEOPATRA (pulling at his hand). Let us run away. Come. Oh, come.

CLEOPATRA (pulling at his hand). Let's escape. Come on. Oh, please come.

CAESAR. You are safe with me until you stand on your throne to receive Caesar. Now lead me thither.

CAESAR. You're safe with me until you take your place on the throne to welcome Caesar. Now take me there.

CLEOPATRA (only too glad to get away). I will, I will. (Again the bucina.) Oh, come, come, come: the gods are angry. Do you feel the earth shaking?

CLEOPATRA (eager to leave). I will, I will. (Again the bucina.) Oh, come on: the gods are mad. Can you feel the ground shaking?

CAESAR. It is the tread of Caesar’s legions.

CAESAR. It is the march of Caesar’s armies.

CLEOPATRA (drawing him away). This way, quickly. And let us look for the white cat as we go. It is he that has turned you into a Roman.

CLEOPATRA (drawing him away). This way, hurry up. And let’s search for the white cat as we move. He’s the one who has turned you into a Roman.

CAESAR. Incorrigible, oh, incorrigible! Away! (He follows her, the bucina sounding louder as they steal across the desert. The moonlight wanes: the horizon again shows black against the sky, broken only by the fantastic silhouette of the Sphinx. The sky itself vanishes in darkness, from which there is no relief until the gleam of a distant torch falls on great Egyptian pillars supporting the roof of a majestic corridor. At the further end of this corridor a Nubian slave appears carrying the torch. Caesar, still led by Cleopatra, follows him. They come down the corridor, Caesar peering keenly about at the strange architecture, and at the pillar shadows between which, as the passing torch makes them hurry noiselessly backwards, figures of men with wings and hawks’ heads, and vast black marble cats, seem to flit in and out of ambush. Further along, the wall turns a corner and makes a spacious transept in which Caesar sees, on his right, a throne, and behind the throne a door. On each side of the throne is a slender pillar with a lamp on it.)

CAESAR. Unmanageable, oh, unmanageable! Go away! (He follows her as the bucina grows louder while they cross the desert. The moonlight fades: the horizon turns black against the sky, only broken by the incredible silhouette of the Sphinx. The sky disappears into darkness, offering no relief until the light of a distant torch illuminates the great Egyptian pillars holding up the roof of a grand corridor. At the end of this corridor, a Nubian slave appears, carrying the torch. Caesar, still guided by Cleopatra, follows him. They walk down the corridor, Caesar observing the unusual architecture and the shadows of the pillars, where figures of men with wings and hawks’ heads, along with massive black marble cats, seem to flicker in and out of sight as the passing torch makes them seem to dart silently away. Further along, the wall turns a corner and opens into a spacious transept where Caesar sees, on his right, a throne, and behind it, a door. On each side of the throne stands a slender pillar with a lamp on it.)

CAESAR. What place is this?

CAESAR. What is this place?

CLEOPATRA. This is where I sit on the throne when I am allowed to wear my crown and robes. (The slave holds his torch to shew the throne.)

CLEOPATRA. This is where I sit on the throne when I get to wear my crown and robes. (The slave holds his torch to show the throne.)

CAESAR. Order the slave to light the lamps.

CAESAR. Tell the servant to turn on the lights.

CLEOPATRA (shyly). Do you think I may?

CLEOPATRA (shyly). Do you think I can?

CAESAR. Of course. You are the Queen. (She hesitates.) Go on.

CAESAR. Of course. You’re the Queen. (She hesitates.) Go ahead.

CLEOPATRA (timidly, to the slave). Light all the lamps.

CLEOPATRA (timidly, to the slave). Light all the lamps.

FTATATEETA (suddenly coming from behind the throne). Stop. (The slave stops. She turns sternly to Cleopatra, who quails like a naughty child.) Who is this you have with you; and how dare you order the lamps to be lighted without my permission? (Cleopatra is dumb with apprehension.)

FTATATEETA (suddenly appearing from behind the throne). Stop. (The slave stops. She turns sharply to Cleopatra, who looks frightened like a misbehaving child.) Who is this person you brought with you, and how dare you tell someone to light the lamps without my permission? (Cleopatra is speechless with fear.)

CAESAR. Who is she?

CAESAR. Who's she?

CLEOPATRA. Ftatateeta.

CLEOPATRA. Ftatateeta.

FTATATEETA (arrogantly). Chief nurse to——

FTATATEETA (arrogantly). Chief nurse to——

CAESAR (cutting her short). I speak to the Queen. Be silent. (To Cleopatra) Is this how your servants know their places? Send her away; and you (to the slave) do as the Queen has bidden. (The slave lights the lamps. Meanwhile Cleopatra stands hesitating, afraid of Ftatateeta.) You are the Queen: send her away.

CAESAR (interrupting her). I'm talking to the Queen. Be quiet. (To Cleopatra) Is this how your servants understand their roles? Send her away; and you (to the slave) do what the Queen has asked. (The slave lights the lamps. Meanwhile, Cleopatra stands uncertain, afraid of Ftatateeta.) You are the Queen: send her away.

CLEOPATRA (cajoling). Ftatateeta, dear: you must go away—just for a little.

CLEOPATRA (cajoling). Ftatateeta, sweetheart: you have to step away—just for a bit.

CAESAR. You are not commanding her to go away: you are begging her. You are no Queen. You will be eaten. Farewell. (He turns to go.)

CAESAR. You're not ordering her to leave; you're pleading with her. You're not a Queen. You will be devoured. Goodbye. (He turns to go.)

CLEOPATRA (clutching him). No, no, no. Don’t leave me.

CLEOPATRA (clutching him). No, please don’t go.

CAESAR. A Roman does not stay with queens who are afraid of their slaves.

CAESAR. A Roman doesn't stick around with queens who are scared of their slaves.

CLEOPATRA. I am not afraid. Indeed I am not afraid.

CLEOPATRA. I'm not scared. Really, I'm not scared.

FTATATEETA. We shall see who is afraid here. (Menacingly) Cleopatra——

FTATATEETA. We'll see who's afraid here. (Menacingly) Cleopatra——

CAESAR. On your knees, woman: am I also a child that you dare trifle with me? (He points to the floor at Cleopatra’s feet. Ftatateeta, half cowed, half savage, hesitates. Caesar calls to the Nubian) Slave. (The Nubian comes to him.) Can you cut off a head? (The Nubian nods and grins ecstatically, showing all his teeth. Caesar takes his sword by the scabbard, ready to offer the hilt to the Nubian, and turns again to Ftatateeta, repeating his gesture.) Have you remembered yourself, mistress?

CAESAR. Get on your knees, woman: do you really think you can mess with me like I'm a child? (He motions to the floor at Cleopatra’s feet. Ftatateeta, part intimidated, part fierce, hesitates. Caesar calls to the Nubian.) Slave. (The Nubian approaches him.) Can you take off a head? (The Nubian nods and grins widely, showing all his teeth. Caesar grabs his sword by the scabbard, preparing to hand the hilt to the Nubian, and turns back to Ftatateeta, repeating his gesture.) Have you come to your senses, mistress?

Ftatateeta, crushed, kneels before Cleopatra, who can hardly believe her eyes.

Ftatateeta, devastated, kneels before Cleopatra, who can barely believe her eyes.

FTATATEETA (hoarsely). O Queen, forget not thy servant in the days of thy greatness.

FTATATEETA (hoarsely). O Queen, do not forget your servant during your days of greatness.

CLEOPATRA (blazing with excitement). Go. Begone. Go away. (Ftatateeta rises with stooped head, and moves backwards towards the door. Cleopatra watches her submission eagerly, almost clapping her hands, which are trembling. Suddenly she cries) Give me something to beat her with. (She snatches a snake-skin from the throne and dashes after Ftatateeta, whirling it like a scourge in the air. Caesar makes a bound and manages to catch her and hold her while Ftatateeta escapes.)

CLEOPATRA (full of excitement). Go. Get out. Leave. (Ftatateeta stands up with her head down and backs toward the door. Cleopatra watches her submission eagerly, nearly clapping her trembling hands. Suddenly she shouts) Give me something to hit her with. (She grabs a snake-skin from the throne and rushes after Ftatateeta, swinging it like a whip in the air. Caesar leaps forward and manages to catch her, holding her back while Ftatateeta escapes.)

CAESAR. You scratch, kitten, do you?

CAESAR. You’re scratching, huh, kitty?

CLEOPATRA (breaking from him). I will beat somebody. I will beat him. (She attacks the slave.) There, there, there! (The slave flies for his life up the corridor and vanishes. She throws the snake-skin away and jumps on the step of the throne with her arms waving, crying) I am a real Queen at last—a real, real Queen! Cleopatra the Queen! (Caesar shakes his head dubiously, the advantage of the change seeming open to question from the point of view of the general welfare of Egypt. She turns and looks at him exultantly. Then she jumps down from the step, runs to him, and flings her arms round him rapturously, crying) Oh, I love you for making me a Queen.

CLEOPATRA (pulling away from him). I will hit someone. I'm going to hit him. (She goes after the slave.) There, there, there! (The slave runs for his life up the corridor and disappears. She tosses the snake-skin aside and hops onto the step of the throne, arms waving, exclaiming) I’m finally a real Queen—a true, real Queen! Cleopatra the Queen! (Caesar shakes his head doubtfully, the benefits of the change seeming questionable for the overall welfare of Egypt. She turns to him, looking triumphant. Then she hops down from the step, rushes to him, and wraps her arms around him excitedly, exclaiming) Oh, I love you for making me a Queen.

CAESAR. But queens love only kings.

CAESAR. But queens only love kings.

CLEOPATRA. I will make all the men I love kings. I will make you a king. I will have many young kings, with round, strong arms; and when I am tired of them I will whip them to death; but you shall always be my king: my nice, kind, wise, good old king.

CLEOPATRA. I will make all the men I love kings. I will make you a king. I will have many young kings, with strong, muscular arms; and when I get tired of them, I will have them killed; but you will always be my king: my nice, kind, wise, good old king.

CAESAR. Oh, my wrinkles, my wrinkles! And my child’s heart! You will be the most dangerous of all Caesar’s conquests.

CAESAR. Oh, my wrinkles, my wrinkles! And my youthful heart! You will be the most threatening of all Caesar’s victories.

CLEOPATRA (appalled). Caesar! I forgot Caesar. (Anxiously) You will tell him that I am a Queen, will you not?—a real Queen. Listen! (stealthily coaxing him) let us run away and hide until Caesar is gone.

CLEOPATRA (appalled). Caesar! I totally forgot about Caesar. (Anxiously) You will tell him that I am a Queen, right?—a real Queen. Listen! (stealthily coaxing him) let’s run away and hide until Caesar leaves.

CAESAR. If you fear Caesar, you are no true Queen; and though you were to hide beneath a pyramid, he would go straight to it and lift it with one hand. And then—! (He chops his teeth together.)

CAESAR. If you're afraid of Caesar, you're not a real Queen; even if you were to hide under a pyramid, he would go right to it and lift it with one hand. And then—! (He snaps his teeth together.)

CLEOPATRA (trembling). Oh!

CLEOPATRA (trembling). Oh no!

CAESAR. Be afraid if you dare. (The note of the bucina resounds again in the distance. She moans with fear. Caesar exalts in it, exclaiming) Aha! Caesar approaches the throne of Cleopatra. Come: take your place. (He takes her hand and leads her to the throne. She is too downcast to speak.) Ho, there, Teetatota. How do you call your slaves?

CAESAR. Be afraid if you dare. (The sound of the bucina echoes in the distance. She shudders with fear. Caesar revels in it, exclaiming) Aha! Caesar walks over to Cleopatra's throne. Come: sit here. (He takes her hand and guides her to the throne. She is too upset to speak.) Hey, Teetatota. What do you call your slaves?

CLEOPATRA (spiritlessly, as she sinks on the throne and cowers there, shaking). Clap your hands.

CLEOPATRA (dully, as she sinks onto the throne and shrinks back, shaking). Clap your hands.

He claps his hands. Ftatateeta returns.

He claps his hands. Ftatateeta comes back.

CAESAR. Bring the Queen’s robes, and her crown, and her women; and prepare her.

CAESAR. Bring the Queen's robes, her crown, and her attendants; and get her ready.

CLEOPATRA (eagerly—recovering herself a little). Yes, the crown, Ftatateeta: I shall wear the crown.

CLEOPATRA (eagerly—regaining her composure). Yes, the crown, Ftatateeta: I will wear the crown.

FTATATEETA. For whom must the Queen put on her state?

FTATATEETA. For whom does the Queen need to put on her formal attire?

CAESAR. For a citizen of Rome. A king of kings, Totateeta.

CAESAR. For a citizen of Rome. A king of kings, Totateeta.

CLEOPATRA (stamping at her). How dare you ask questions? Go and do as you are told. (Ftatateeta goes out with a grim smile. Cleopatra goes on eagerly, to Caesar) Caesar will know that I am a Queen when he sees my crown and robes, will he not?

CLEOPATRA (stamping at her). How dare you ask questions? Just do what you're told. (Ftatateeta goes out with a grim smile. Cleopatra continues eagerly, to Caesar) Caesar will recognize that I'm a Queen when he sees my crown and robes, right?

CAESAR. No. How shall he know that you are not a slave dressed up in the Queen’s ornaments?

CAESAR. No. How will he know that you’re not just a slave wearing the Queen’s jewelry?

CLEOPATRA. You must tell him.

CLEOPATRA. You have to tell him.

CAESAR. He will not ask me. He will know Cleopatra by her pride, her courage, her majesty, and her beauty. (She looks very doubtful.) Are you trembling?

CAESAR. He won’t need to ask me. He’ll recognize Cleopatra by her pride, her courage, her majesty, and her beauty. (She looks very uncertain.) Are you shaking?

CLEOPATRA (shivering with dread). No, I—I—(in a very sickly voice) No.

CLEOPATRA (shivering with fear). No, I—I—(in a very weak voice) No.

Ftatateeta and three women come in with the regalia.

Ftatateeta and three women enter wearing the ceremonial attire.

FTATATEETA. Of all the Queen’s women, these three alone are left. The rest are fled. (They begin to deck Cleopatra, who submits, pale and motionless.)

FTATATEETA. Of all the Queen’s women, only these three are left. The others have escaped. (They start to dress Cleopatra, who allows it, pale and still.)

CAESAR. Good, good. Three are enough. Poor Caesar generally has to dress himself.

CAESAR. Alright, alright. Three is enough. Poor Caesar usually has to get himself ready.

FTATATEETA (contemptuously). The Queen of Egypt is not a Roman barbarian. (To Cleopatra) Be brave, my nursling. Hold up your head before this stranger.

FTATATEETA (contemptuously). The Queen of Egypt is not some Roman savage. (To Cleopatra) Stay strong, my child. Keep your head high in front of this outsider.

CAESAR (admiring Cleopatra, and placing the crown on her head). Is it sweet or bitter to be a Queen, Cleopatra?

CAESAR (admiring Cleopatra and placing the crown on her head). Is it sweet or bitter to be a queen, Cleopatra?

CLEOPATRA. Bitter.

CLEOPATRA. Upset.

CAESAR. Cast out fear; and you will conquer Caesar. Tota: are the Romans at hand?

CAESAR. Let go of fear, and you will defeat Caesar. Tota: Are the Romans nearby?

FTATATEETA. They are at hand; and the guard has fled.

FTATATEETA. They are here; and the guard has run away.

THE WOMEN (wailing subduedly). Woe to us!

THE WOMEN (wailing quietly). Woe to us!

The Nubian comes running down the hall.

The Nubian runs down the hall.

NUBIAN. The Romans are in the courtyard. (He bolts through the door. With a shriek, the women fly after him. Ftatateeta’s jaw expresses savage resolution: she does not budge. Cleopatra can hardly restrain herself from following them. Caesar grips her wrist, and looks steadfastly at her. She stands like a martyr.)

NUBIAN. The Romans are in the courtyard. (He rushes through the door. With a scream, the women chase after him. Ftatateeta's face shows fierce determination: she stays put. Cleopatra can barely stop herself from going after them. Caesar holds her wrist and looks firmly at her. She stands there like a martyr.)

CAESAR. The Queen must face Caesar alone. Answer “So be it.”

CAESAR. The Queen has to face Caesar by herself. Respond with “So be it.”

CLEOPATRA (white). So be it.

CLEOPATRA (white). Fine by me.

CAESAR (releasing her). Good.

CAESAR (letting her go). Good.

A tramp and tumult of armed men is heard. Cleopatra’s terror increases. The bucina sounds close at hand, followed by a formidable clangor of trumpets. This is too much for Cleopatra: she utters a cry and darts towards the door. Ftatateeta stops her ruthlessly.

A chaotic noise of armed men can be heard. Cleopatra’s fear intensifies. The bucina sounds nearby, followed by a loud blast of trumpets. This is overwhelming for Cleopatra: she screams and rushes toward the door. Ftatateeta stops her mercilessly.

FTATATEETA. You are my nursling. You have said “So be it”; and if you die for it, you must make the Queen’s word good. (She hands Cleopatra to Caesar, who takes her back, almost beside herself with apprehension, to the throne.)

FTATATEETA. You are my child. You’ve said “So be it”; and if you die for it, you have to uphold the Queen's word. (She hands Cleopatra to Caesar, who takes her back, almost overwhelmed with worry, to the throne.)

CAESAR. Now, if you quail—! (He seats himself on the throne.)

CAESAR. Now, if you hesitate—! (He sits down on the throne.)

She stands on the step, all but unconscious, waiting for death. The Roman soldiers troop in tumultuously through the corridor, headed by their ensign with his eagle, and their bucinator, a burly fellow with his instrument coiled round his body, its brazen bell shaped like the head of a howling wolf. When they reach the transept, they stare in amazement at the throne; dress into ordered rank opposite it; draw their swords and lift them in the air with a shout of Hail, Caesar. Cleopatra turns and stares wildly at Caesar; grasps the situation; and, with a great sob of relief, falls into his arms.

She stands on the step, barely aware of her surroundings, waiting for death. The Roman soldiers march in excitedly through the corridor, led by their ensign with the eagle, and their bucinator, a robust guy with his instrument wrapped around his body, its brass bell shaped like the head of a howling wolf. When they reach the transept, they stare in shock at the throne; form into an organized line opposite it; draw their swords and raise them in the air with a shout of Hail, Caesar. Cleopatra turns and looks at Caesar in a panic; understands the situation; and, with a huge sigh of relief, collapses into his arms.





ACT II

Alexandria. A hall on the first floor of the Palace, ending in a loggia approached by two steps. Through the arches of the loggia the Mediterranean can be seen, bright in the morning sun. The clean lofty walls, painted with a procession of the Egyptian theocracy, presented in profile as flat ornament, and the absence of mirrors, sham perspectives, stuffy upholstery and textiles, make the place handsome, wholesome, simple and cool, or, as a rich English manufacturer would express it, poor, bare, ridiculous and unhomely. For Tottenham Court Road civilization is to this Egyptian civilization as glass bead and tattoo civilization is to Tottenham Court Road.

Alexandria. A hall on the first floor of the Palace, leading to a loggia accessed by two steps. Through the arches of the loggia, the Mediterranean sparkles in the morning sun. The clean, high walls, decorated with a flat ornamentation depicting a procession of the Egyptian theocracy, along with the absence of mirrors, fake perspectives, heavy upholstery, and textiles, create a beautiful, fresh, simple, and cool space, or, as a wealthy English manufacturer might put it, poor, bare, absurd, and unwelcoming. The civilization of Tottenham Court Road is to this Egyptian civilization as glass beads and tattoos are to Tottenham Court Road.

The young king Ptolemy Dionysus (aged ten) is at the top of the steps, on his way in through the loggia, led by his guardian Pothinus, who has him by the hand. The court is assembled to receive him. It is made up of men and women (some of the women being officials) of various complexions and races, mostly Egyptian; some of them, comparatively fair, from lower Egypt; some, much darker, from upper Egypt; with a few Greeks and Jews. Prominent in a group on Ptolemy’s right hand is Theodotus, Ptolemy’s tutor. Another group, on Ptolemy’s left, is headed by Achillas, the general of Ptolemy’s troops. Theodotus is a little old man, whose features are as cramped and wizened as his limbs, except his tall straight forehead, which occupies more space than all the rest of his face. He maintains an air of magpie keenness and profundity, listening to what the others say with the sarcastic vigilance of a philosopher listening to the exercises of his disciples. Achillas is a tall handsome man of thirty-five, with a fine black beard curled like the coat of a poodle. Apparently not a clever man, but distinguished and dignified. Pothinus is a vigorous man of fifty, a eunuch, passionate, energetic and quick witted, but of common mind and character; impatient and unable to control his temper. He has fine tawny hair, like fur. Ptolemy, the King, looks much older than an English boy of ten; but he has the childish air, the habit of being in leading strings, the mixture of impotence and petulance, the appearance of being excessively washed, combed and dressed by other hands, which is exhibited by court-bred princes of all ages.

The young king Ptolemy Dionysus (who is ten years old) is at the top of the steps, entering through the loggia, being led by his guardian Pothinus, who holds his hand. The court is gathered to welcome him. It consists of men and women (some of whom hold official positions) of various skin tones and backgrounds, mostly Egyptian; some are comparatively fair from lower Egypt; others are much darker from upper Egypt, alongside a few Greeks and Jews. Prominent in a group on Ptolemy’s right is Theodotus, Ptolemy’s tutor. Another group on Ptolemy’s left is led by Achillas, the general of Ptolemy’s troops. Theodotus is a little old man, with features as twisted and shriveled as his limbs, except for his tall straight forehead, which takes up more space than the rest of his face combined. He has a sharp and thoughtful demeanor, listening to what others say with the wry awareness of a philosopher observing his students’ progress. Achillas is a tall, attractive man of thirty-five, with a fine black beard curled like a poodle's coat. He seems not to be particularly clever but is distinguished and dignified. Pothinus is a strong fifty-year-old eunuch, passionate, energetic, and quick-witted, but of ordinary mind and character; he is impatient and struggles to control his temper. He has fine tawny hair, resembling fur. Ptolemy, the King, looks much older than an English boy of ten; however, he carries a childish demeanor, the tendency to rely on others, a mix of frailty and irritability, and the appearance of being excessively groomed and dressed by others, which is typical of royal princes of any age.

All receive the King with reverences. He comes down the steps to a chair of state which stands a little to his right, the only seat in the hall. Taking his place before it, he looks nervously for instructions to Pothinus, who places himself at his left hand.

Everyone welcomes the King with respect. He walks down the steps to a throne that sits slightly to his right, the only seat in the hall. As he stands before it, he anxiously glances for guidance from Pothinus, who positions himself at his left side.



POTHINUS. The King of Egypt has a word to speak.

POTHINUS. The King of Egypt has something to say.

THEODOTUS (in a squeak which he makes impressive by sheer self-opinionativeness). Peace for the King’s word!

THEODOTUS (in a squeak that he makes sound significant just through his own arrogance). Peace for the King’s word!

PTOLEMY (without any vocal inflexions: he is evidently repeating a lesson). Take notice of this all of you. I am the firstborn son of Auletes the Flute Blower who was your King. My sister Berenice drove him from his throne and reigned in his stead but—but (he hesitates)——

PTOLEMY (without any vocal inflections: he is clearly reciting a lesson). Everyone, pay attention. I'm the firstborn son of Auletes the Flute Player, who was your King. My sister Berenice took his place and ruled in his absence, but—but (he hesitates)——

POTHINUS (stealthily prompting).—but the gods would not suffer——

POTHINUS (quietly nudging).—but the gods wouldn't allow——

PTOLEMY. Yes—the gods would not suffer—not suffer—(he stops; then, crestfallen) I forget what the gods would not suffer.

PTOLEMY. Yeah—the gods wouldn't allow—not allow—(he stops; then, feeling down) I can't remember what the gods wouldn't allow.

THEODOTUS. Let Pothinus, the King’s guardian, speak for the King.

THEODOTUS. Let Pothinus, the King's guardian, speak on behalf of the King.

POTHINUS (suppressing his impatience with difficulty). The King wished to say that the gods would not suffer the impiety of his sister to go unpunished.

POTHINUS (struggling to hide his impatience). The King wanted to say that the gods would not allow his sister's disrespect to go unpunished.

PTOLEMY (hastily). Yes: I remember the rest of it. (He resumes his monotone). Therefore the gods sent a stranger, one Mark Antony, a Roman captain of horsemen, across the sands of the desert and he set my father again upon the throne. And my father took Berenice my sister and struck her head off. And now that my father is dead yet another of his daughters, my sister Cleopatra, would snatch the kingdom from me and reign in my place. But the gods would not suffer (Pothinus coughs admonitorily)—the gods—the gods would not suffer——

PTOLEMY (hastily). Yes: I remember the rest of it. (He resumes his monotone). So the gods sent a stranger, Mark Antony, a Roman cavalry captain, across the desert sands, and he put my father back on the throne. And my father took my sister Berenice and had her executed. Now that my father is dead, another of his daughters, my sister Cleopatra, wants to take the kingdom from me and rule in my place. But the gods won't allow it (Pothinus coughs admonitorily)—the gods—the gods won't allow it——

POTHINUS (prompting).—will not maintain——

POTHINUS (prompting).—won't maintain——

PTOLEMY. Oh yes—will not maintain such iniquity, they will give her head to the axe even as her sister’s. But with the help of the witch Ftatateeta she hath cast a spell on the Roman Julius Caesar to make him uphold her false pretence to rule in Egypt. Take notice then that I will not suffer—that I will not suffer—(pettishly, to Pothinus) What is it that I will not suffer?

PTOLEMY. Oh yes—they won’t stand for such injustice, they’ll have her head chopped off just like her sister’s. But with the help of the witch Ftatateeta, she has cast a spell on the Roman Julius Caesar to make him support her false claim to rule Egypt. Just know that I won’t tolerate this—that I will not tolerate this—(petulantly, to Pothinus) What is it that I won’t tolerate?

POTHINUS (suddenly exploding with all the force and emphasis of political passion). The King will not suffer a foreigner to take from him the throne of our Egypt. (A shout of applause.) Tell the King, Achillas, how many soldiers and horsemen follow the Roman?

POTHINUS (suddenly bursting forth with all the intensity and fervor of political passion). The King won’t allow a foreigner to take the throne of our Egypt. (A cheer of approval.) Tell the King, Achillas, how many soldiers and cavalry are with the Roman?

THEODOTUS. Let the King’s general speak!

THEODOTUS. Let the King’s general talk!

ACHILLAS. But two Roman legions, O King. Three thousand soldiers and scarce a thousand horsemen.

ACHILLAS. But just two Roman legions, Your Majesty. Three thousand soldiers and barely a thousand cavalry.

The court breaks into derisive laughter; and a great chattering begins, amid which Rufio, a Roman officer, appears in the loggia. He is a burly, black-bearded man of middle age, very blunt, prompt and rough, with small clear eyes, and plump nose and cheeks, which, however, like the rest of his flesh, are in ironhard condition.

The court bursts into mocking laughter, and a loud chatter starts, within which Rufio, a Roman officer, shows up in the loggia. He is a heavyset, middle-aged man with a black beard, very straightforward, quick, and rough around the edges, with small, sharp eyes and a full nose and cheeks that, like the rest of his body, are in rock-solid shape.

RUFIO (from the steps). Peace, ho! (The laughter and chatter cease abruptly.) Caesar approaches.

RUFIO (from the steps). Hey, everyone, quiet! (The laughter and chatter stop suddenly.) Caesar is coming.

THEODOTUS (with much presence of mind). The King permits the Roman commander to enter!

THEODOTUS (calmly). The King allows the Roman commander to enter!

Caesar, plainly dressed, but wearing an oak wreath to conceal his baldness, enters from, the loggia, attended by Britannus, his secretary, a Briton, about forty, tall, solemn, and already slightly bald, with a heavy, drooping, hazel-colored moustache trained so as to lose its ends in a pair of trim whiskers. He is carefully dressed in blue, with portfolio, inkhorn, and reed pen at his girdle. His serious air and sense of the importance of the business in hand is in marked contrast to the kindly interest of Caesar, who looks at the scene, which is new to him, with the frank curiosity of a child, and then turns to the King’s chair: Britannus and Rufio posting themselves near the steps at the other side.

Caesar, simply dressed but wearing an oak wreath to hide his baldness, enters from the loggia, accompanied by Britannus, his secretary. Britannus is a Briton around forty, tall, serious, and already slightly bald, sporting a heavy, drooping hazel-colored mustache that blends into a pair of well-groomed sideburns. He is neatly dressed in blue, with a portfolio, inkwell, and reed pen at his waist. His serious demeanor and awareness of the importance of the task at hand sharply contrast with Caesar's warm curiosity, as he observes the unfamiliar scene with the innocent wonder of a child before turning to the King’s chair, while Britannus and Rufio position themselves near the steps on the other side.

CAESAR (looking at Pothinus and Ptolemy). Which is the King? the man or the boy?

CAESAR (looking at Pothinus and Ptolemy). Which one is the King? The man or the boy?

POTHINUS. I am Pothinus, the guardian of my lord the King.

POTHINUS. I'm Pothinus, the guardian of my lord, the King.

CAESAR (patting Ptolemy kindly on the shoulder). So you are the King. Dull work at your age, eh? (To Pothinus) your servant, Pothinus. (He turns away unconcernedly and comes slowly along the middle of the hall, looking from side to side at the courtiers until he reaches Achillas.) And this gentleman?

CAESAR (giving Ptolemy a friendly pat on the shoulder). So, you’re the King. Boring job for someone your age, right? (To Pothinus) Nice to meet you, Pothinus. (He turns away casually and walks slowly down the center of the hall, glancing at the courtiers until he gets to Achillas.) And who might this gentleman be?

THEODOTUS. Achillas, the King’s general.

THEODOTUS. Achillas, the king's general.

CAESAR (to Achillas, very friendly). A general, eh? I am a general myself. But I began too old, too old. Health and many victories, Achillas!

CAESAR (to Achillas, very friendly). A general, huh? I'm a general too. But I started a bit late, too late. Health and a lot of victories, Achillas!

ACHILLAS. As the gods will, Caesar.

ACHILLAS. As the gods wish, Caesar.

CAESAR (turning to Theodotus). And you, sir, are——?

CAESAR (turning to Theodotus). And you, sir, are——?

THEODOTUS. Theodotus, the King’s tutor.

THEODOTUS. Theodotus, the king's tutor.

CAESAR. You teach men how to be kings, Theodotus. That is very clever of you. (Looking at the gods on the walls as he turns away from Theodotus and goes up again to Pothinus.) And this place?

CAESAR. You show people how to be kings, Theodotus. That’s quite clever of you. (Looking at the gods on the walls as he turns away from Theodotus and goes back up to Pothinus.) And this place?

POTHINUS. The council chamber of the chancellors of the King’s treasury, Caesar.

POTHINUS. The meeting room of the chancellors of the King’s treasury, Caesar.

CAESAR. Ah! That reminds me. I want some money.

CAESAR. Oh! That reminds me. I need some cash.

POTHINUS. The King’s treasury is poor, Caesar.

POTHINUS. The King's treasury is empty, Caesar.

CAESAR. Yes: I notice that there is but one chair in it.

CAESAR. Yeah, I see there’s only one chair in here.

RUFIO (shouting gruffly). Bring a chair there, some of you, for Caesar.

RUFIO (shouting gruffly). Bring a chair over there, some of you, for Caesar.

PTOLEMY (rising shyly to offer his chair). Caesar——

PTOLEMY (hesitantly getting up to offer his chair). Caesar——

CAESAR (kindly). No, no, my boy: that is your chair of state. Sit down.

CAESAR (kindly). No, no, my boy: that’s your throne. Sit down.

He makes Ptolemy sit down again. Meanwhile Rufio, looking about him, sees in the nearest corner an image of the god Ra, represented as a seated man with the head of a hawk. Before the image is a bronze tripod, about as large as a three-legged stool, with a stick of incense burning on it. Rufio, with Roman resourcefulness and indifference to foreign superstitions, promptly seizes the tripod; shakes off the incense; blows away the ash; and dumps it down behind Caesar, nearly in the middle of the hall.

He makes Ptolemy sit down again. Meanwhile, Rufio, looking around, spots in the nearest corner a statue of the god Ra, depicted as a seated man with a hawk's head. In front of the statue is a bronze tripod, roughly the size of a three-legged stool, with a stick of incense burning on it. Rufio, with typical Roman pragmatism and disregard for foreign beliefs, quickly grabs the tripod; shakes off the incense; blows away the ash; and sets it down behind Caesar, almost in the center of the hall.

RUFIO. Sit on that, Caesar.

RUFIO. Sit on that, Caesar.

A shiver runs through the court, followed by a hissing whisper of Sacrilege!

A chill goes through the court, followed by a hissing whisper of Sacrilege!

CAESAR (seating himself). Now, Pothinus, to business. I am badly in want of money.

CAESAR (sitting down). Alright, Pothinus, let’s get to work. I really need some money.

BRITANNUS (disapproving of these informal expressions). My master would say that there is a lawful debt due to Rome by Egypt, contracted by the King’s deceased father to the Triumvirate; and that it is Caesar’s duty to his country to require immediate payment.

BRITANNUS (disapproving of these informal expressions). My master would say that Egypt owes a legitimate debt to Rome, which was incurred by the King’s late father to the Triumvirate; and that it’s Caesar’s responsibility to his country to demand immediate payment.

CAESAR (blandly). Ah, I forgot. I have not made my companions known here. Pothinus: this is Britannus, my secretary. He is an islander from the western end of the world, a day’s voyage from Gaul. (Britannus bows stiffly.) This gentleman is Rufio, my comrade in arms. (Rufio nods.) Pothinus: I want 1,600 talents.

CAESAR (casually). Oh, I almost forgot. I haven't introduced my friends here. Pothinus: This is Britannus, my secretary. He comes from an island on the far west, just a day's journey from Gaul. (Britannus bows stiffly.) This guy is Rufio, my battle buddy. (Rufio nods.) Pothinus: I need 1,600 talents.

The courtiers, appalled, murmur loudly, and Theodotus and Achillas appeal mutely to one another against so monstrous a demand.

The courtiers, shocked, whisper loudly, and Theodotus and Achillas silently look to each other in disbelief at such an outrageous demand.

POTHINUS (aghast). Forty million sesterces! Impossible. There is not so much money in the King’s treasury.

POTHINUS (shocked). Forty million sesterces! That’s impossible. There isn't that much money in the King’s treasury.

CAESAR (encouragingly). Only sixteen hundred talents, Pothinus. Why count it in sesterces? A sestertius is only worth a loaf of bread.

CAESAR (encouragingly). Only sixteen hundred talents, Pothinus. Why count it in sesterces? A sestertius is just worth a loaf of bread.

POTHINUS. And a talent is worth a racehorse. I say it is impossible. We have been at strife here, because the King’s sister Cleopatra falsely claims his throne. The King’s taxes have not been collected for a whole year.

POTHINUS. And a talent is worth a racehorse. I say it's impossible. We’ve been at odds here because the King’s sister Cleopatra is falsely claiming his throne. The King’s taxes haven’t been collected for an entire year.

CAESAR. Yes they have, Pothinus. My officers have been collecting them all the morning. (Renewed whisper and sensation, not without some stifled laughter, among the courtiers.)

CAESAR. Yes, they have, Pothinus. My officers have been gathering them all morning. (Renewed whisper and sensation, not without some stifled laughter, among the courtiers.)

RUFIO (bluntly). You must pay, Pothinus. Why waste words? You are getting off cheaply enough.

RUFIO (bluntly). You need to pay, Pothinus. Why beat around the bush? You're getting off pretty easy.

POTHINUS (bitterly). Is it possible that Caesar, the conqueror of the world, has time to occupy himself with such a trifle as our taxes?

POTHINUS (bitterly). Is it really possible that Caesar, the conqueror of the world, has time to deal with something as petty as our taxes?

CAESAR. My friend: taxes are the chief business of a conqueror of the world.

CAESAR. My friend, taxes are the main responsibility of a conqueror of the world.

POTHINUS. Then take warning, Caesar. This day, the treasures of the temples and the gold of the King’s treasury will be sent to the mint to be melted down for our ransom in the sight of the people. They shall see us sitting under bare walls and drinking from wooden cups. And their wrath be on your head, Caesar, if you force us to this sacrilege!

POTHINUS. So listen up, Caesar. Today, the treasures from the temples and the King’s gold will be taken to the mint to be melted down for our ransom right in front of the people. They will see us sitting under empty walls, drinking from wooden cups. And their anger will be directed at you, Caesar, if you make us commit this sacrilege!

CAESAR. Do not fear, Pothinus: the people know how well wine tastes in wooden cups. In return for your bounty, I will settle this dispute about the throne for you, if you will. What say you?

CAESAR. Don't worry, Pothinus: the people know how good wine tastes in wooden cups. In exchange for your generosity, I’ll resolve this throne dispute for you, if you want. What do you say?

POTHINUS. If I say no, will that hinder you?

POTHINUS. If I say no, will that stop you?

RUFIO (defiantly). No.

RUFIO (defiantly). Nope.

CAESAR. You say the matter has been at issue for a year, Pothinus. May I have ten minutes at it?

CAESAR. You say this has been a problem for a year, Pothinus. Can I have ten minutes to deal with it?

POTHINUS. You will do your pleasure, doubtless.

POTHINUS. You’ll do what you want, for sure.

CAESAR. Good! But first, let us have Cleopatra here.

CAESAR. Great! But first, let's bring Cleopatra in.

THEODOTUS. She is not in Alexandria: she is fled into Syria.

THEODOTUS. She's not in Alexandria; she's gone to Syria.

CAESAR. I think not. (To Rufio) Call Totateeta.

CAESAR. I don’t think so. (To Rufio) Call Totateeta.

RUFIO (calling). Ho there, Teetatota.

RUFIO (calling). Hey there, Teetatota.

Ftatateeta enters the loggia, and stands arrogantly at the top of the steps.

Ftatateeta walks into the loggia and stands confidently at the top of the steps.

FTATATEETA. Who pronounces the name of Ftatateeta, the Queen’s chief nurse?

FTATATEETA. Who says the name of Ftatateeta, the Queen's main nurse?

CAESAR. Nobody can pronounce it, Tota, except yourself. Where is your mistress?

CAESAR. Nobody can say it, Tota, except you. Where is your mistress?

Cleopatra, who is hiding behind Ftafateeta, peeps out at them, laughing. Caesar rises.

Cleopatra, hiding behind Ftafateeta, peeks out at them, laughing. Caesar stands up.

CAESAR. Will the Queen favor us with her presence for a moment?

CAESAR. Will the Queen join us for a moment?

CLEOPATRA (pushing Ftatateeta aside and standing haughtily on the brink of the steps). Am I to behave like a Queen?

CLEOPATRA (pushing Ftatateeta aside and standing arrogantly at the edge of the steps). Should I act like a Queen?

CAESAR. Yes.

CAESAR. Yeah.

Cleopatra immediately comes down to the chair of state; seizes Ptolemy and drags him out of his seat; then takes his place in the chair. Ftatateeta seats herself on the step of the loggia, and sits there, watching the scene with sybilline intensity.

Cleopatra quickly approaches the throne, grabs Ptolemy, and pulls him out of his seat; then she sits down in his place. Ftatateeta sits on the step of the loggia, observing the scene with intense focus.

PTOLEMY (mortified, and struggling with his tears). Caesar: this is how she treats me always. If I am a King why is she allowed to take everything from me?

PTOLEMY (upset and fighting back tears). Caesar: this is how she always treats me. If I'm a king, why does she get to take everything from me?

CLEOPATRA. You are not to be King, you little cry-baby. You are to be eaten by the Romans.

CLEOPATRA. You're not going to be King, you whiny baby. The Romans are going to eat you.

CAESAR (touched by Ptolemy’s distress). Come here, my boy, and stand by me.

CAESAR (moved by Ptolemy's distress). Come here, my boy, and stand with me.

Ptolemy goes over to Caesar, who, resuming his seat on the tripod, takes the boy’s hand to encourage him. Cleopatra, furiously jealous, rises and glares at them.

Ptolemy walks over to Caesar, who, sitting back down on the tripod, takes the boy’s hand to reassure him. Cleopatra, filled with rage and jealousy, stands up and stares at them.

CLEOPATRA (with flaming cheeks). Take your throne: I don’t want it. (She flings away from the chair, and approaches Ptolemy, who shrinks from her.) Go this instant and sit down in your place.

CLEOPATRA (with flushed cheeks). Take your throne: I don't want it. (She turns away from the chair and walks toward Ptolemy, who recoils from her.) Go right now and sit down in your spot.

CAESAR. Go, Ptolemy. Always take a throne when it is offered to you.

CAESAR. Go, Ptolemy. Always accept a throne when it’s offered to you.

RUFIO. I hope you will have the good sense to follow your own advice when we return to Rome, Caesar.

RUFIO. I hope you'll have the common sense to take your own advice when we get back to Rome, Caesar.

Ptolemy slowly goes back to the throne, giving Cleopatra a wide berth, in evident fear of her hands. She takes his place beside Caesar.

Ptolemy cautiously returns to the throne, keeping his distance from Cleopatra, clearly afraid of her. She takes his spot next to Caesar.

CAESAR. Pothinus——

CAESAR. Pothinus—

CLEOPATRA (interrupting him). Are you not going to speak to me?

CLEOPATRA (interrupting him). Aren't you going to talk to me?

CAESAR. Be quiet. Open your mouth again before I give you leave; and you shall be eaten.

CAESAR. Be quiet. Open your mouth again before I let you speak, and you’ll be sorry.

CLEOPATRA. I am not afraid. A queen must not be afraid. Eat my husband there, if you like: he is afraid.

CLEOPATRA. I'm not afraid. A queen shouldn't be afraid. Go ahead and eat my husband there, if you want: he is afraid.

CAESAR (starting). Your husband! What do you mean?

CAESAR (starting). Your husband! What are you talking about?

CLEOPATRA (pointing to Ptolemy). That little thing.

CLEOPATRA (pointing to Ptolemy). That tiny person.

The two Romans and the Briton stare at one another in amazement.

The two Romans and the Brit stare at each other in disbelief.

THEODOTUS. Caesar: you are a stranger here, and not conversant with our laws. The kings and queens of Egypt may not marry except with their own royal blood. Ptolemy and Cleopatra are born king and consort just as they are born brother and sister.

THEODOTUS. Caesar: you're a newcomer here and not familiar with our laws. The kings and queens of Egypt can only marry within their own royal family. Ptolemy and Cleopatra are born as king and queen just as they are born brother and sister.

BRITANNUS (shocked). Caesar: this is not proper.

BRITANNUS (shocked). Caesar: this isn't right.

THEODOTUS (outraged). How!

THEODOTUS (outraged). What!

CAESAR (recovering his self-possession). Pardon him, Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.

CAESAR (regaining his composure). Forgive him, Theodotus: he's a barbarian and believes that the traditions of his tribe and island are the natural laws.

BRITANNUS. On the contrary, Caesar, it is these Egyptians who are barbarians; and you do wrong to encourage them. I say it is a scandal.

BRITANNUS. Actually, Caesar, it's these Egyptians who are the barbarians; and you are making a mistake by supporting them. I say it's outrageous.

CAESAR. Scandal or not, my friend, it opens the gate of peace. (He rises and addresses Pothinus seriously.) Pothinus: hear what I propose.

CAESAR. Whether it’s a scandal or not, my friend, it leads to peace. (He stands up and speaks to Pothinus earnestly.) Pothinus: listen to what I suggest.

RUFIO. Hear Caesar there.

RUFIO. Listen to Caesar there.

CAESAR. Ptolemy and Cleopatra shall reign jointly in Egypt.

CAESAR. Ptolemy and Cleopatra will rule together in Egypt.

ACHILLAS. What of the King’s younger brother and Cleopatra’s younger sister?

ACHILLAS. What about the King’s younger brother and Cleopatra’s younger sister?

RUFIO (explaining). There is another little Ptolemy, Caesar: so they tell me.

RUFIO (explaining). There's another little Ptolemy, Caesar; that's what they say.

CAESAR. Well, the little Ptolemy can marry the other sister; and we will make them both a present of Cyprus.

CAESAR. Alright, Ptolemy can marry the other sister; and we’ll gift them both Cyprus.

POTHINUS (impatiently). Cyprus is of no use to anybody.

POTHINUS (impatiently). Cyprus is pointless to anyone.

CAESAR. No matter: you shall have it for the sake of peace.

CAESAR. It doesn't matter: you can have it for the sake of peace.

BRITANNUS (unconsciously anticipating a later statesman). Peace with honor, Pothinus.

BRITANNUS (unconsciously anticipating a later statesman). Peace with honor, Pothinus.

POTHINUS (mutinously). Caesar: be honest. The money you demand is the price of our freedom. Take it; and leave us to settle our own affairs.

POTHINUS (rebelliously). Caesar: let's be real. The money you're asking for is the cost of our freedom. Take it; and let us take care of our own business.

THE BOLDER COURTIERS (encouraged by Pothinus’s tone and Caesar’s quietness). Yes, yes. Egypt for the Egyptians!

THE BOLDER COURTIERS (encouraged by Pothinus’s tone and Caesar’s quietness). Yes, yes. Egypt for the Egyptians!

The conference now becomes an altercation, the Egyptians becoming more and more heated. Caesar remains unruffled; but Rufio grows fiercer and doggeder, and Britannus haughtily indignant.

The conference turns into a heated argument, with the Egyptians getting increasingly agitated. Caesar stays calm; however, Rufio becomes more intense and stubborn, while Britannus is arrogantly outraged.

RUFIO (contemptuously). Egypt for the Egyptians! Do you forget that there is a Roman army of occupation here, left by Aulus Gabinius when he set up your toy king for you?

RUFIO (contemptuously). Egypt for the Egyptians! Do you forget that there’s a Roman army occupying this place, left by Aulus Gabinius when he established your puppet king for you?

ACHILLAS (suddenly asserting himself). And now under my command. I am the Roman general here, Caesar.

ACHILLAS (suddenly asserting himself). And now under my command. I am the Roman general here, Caesar.

CAESAR (tickled by the humor of the situation). And also the Egyptian general, eh?

CAESAR (amused by the situation). And the Egyptian general, right?

POTHINUS (triumphantly). That is so, Caesar.

POTHINUS (triumphantly). Exactly, Caesar.

CAESAR (to Achillas). So you can make war on the Egyptians in the name of Rome, and on the Romans—on me, if necessary—in the name of Egypt?

CAESAR (to Achillas). So you can fight the Egyptians for Rome, and you can fight the Romans—me, if you have to—in the name of Egypt?

ACHILLAS. That is so, Caesar.

ACHILLAS. That's right, Caesar.

CAESAR. And which side are you on at present, if I may presume to ask, general?

CAESAR. And which side are you on right now, if I may ask, general?

ACHILLAS. On the side of the right and of the gods.

ACHILLAS. On the side of the right and the gods.

CAESAR. Hm! How many men have you?

CAESAR. Hm! How many people do you have?

ACHILLAS. That will appear when I take the field.

ACHILLAS. That will show when I take the field.

RUFIO (truculently). Are your men Romans? If not, it matters not how many there are, provided you are no stronger than 500 to ten.

RUFIO (aggressively). Are your men Romans? If they're not, it doesn't matter how many there are, as long as you aren't stronger than 500 to 10.

POTHINUS. It is useless to try to bluff us, Rufio. Caesar has been defeated before and may be defeated again. A few weeks ago Caesar was flying for his life before Pompey: a few months hence he may be flying for his life before Cato and Juba of Numidia, the African King.

POTHINUS. There's no point in trying to fool us, Rufio. Caesar has lost before and could lose again. A few weeks ago, Caesar was running for his life from Pompey; in a few months, he might be running for his life from Cato and Juba of Numidia, the African King.

ACHILLAS (following up Pothinus’s speech menacingly). What can you do with 4,000 men?

ACHILLAS (following up Pothinus’s speech menacingly). What can you accomplish with 4,000 men?

THEODOTUS (following up Achillas’s speech with a raucous squeak). And without money? Away with you.

THEODOTUS (following up Achillas’s speech with a loud squeak). And without money? Get lost.

ALL THE COURTIERS (shouting fiercely and crowding towards Caesar). Away with you. Egypt for the Egyptians! Begone.

ALL THE COURTIERS (shouting fiercely and crowding towards Caesar). Get out of here. Egypt belongs to the Egyptians! Leave.

Rufio bites his beard, too angry to speak. Caesar sits on comfortably as if he were at breakfast, and the cat were clamoring for a piece of Finnan-haddie.

Rufio bites his beard, too furious to say anything. Caesar sits back comfortably as if he were just enjoying breakfast, and the cat is begging for a piece of Finnan-haddie.

CLEOPATRA. Why do you let them talk to you like that, Caesar? Are you afraid?

CLEOPATRA. Why do you let them speak to you that way, Caesar? Are you scared?

CAESAR. Why, my dear, what they say is quite true.

CAESAR. Well, my dear, what they're saying is completely true.

CLEOPATRA. But if you go away, I shall not be Queen.

CLEOPATRA. But if you leave, I won’t be Queen.

CAESAR. I shall not go away until you are Queen.

CAESAR. I won’t leave until you’re Queen.

POTHINUS. Achillas: if you are not a fool, you will take that girl whilst she is under your hand.

POTHINUS. Achillas: if you’re not stupid, you should take that girl while you have the chance.

RUFIO (daring them). Why not take Caesar as well, Achillas?

RUFIO (challenging them). Why not take Caesar too, Achillas?

POTHINUS (retorting the defiance with interest). Well said, Rufio. Why not?

POTHINUS (responding to the challenge with enthusiasm). Good point, Rufio. Why not?

RUFIO. Try, Achillas. (Calling) Guard there.

RUFIO. Give it a shot, Achillas. (Calling) Hey, guard over there.

The loggia immediately fills with Caesar’s soldiers, who stand, sword in hand, at the top of the steps, waiting the word to charge from their centurion, who carries a cudgel. For a moment the Egyptians face them proudly: then they retire sullenly to their former places.

The loggia quickly fills with Caesar’s soldiers, who stand there with their swords drawn at the top of the steps, waiting for the signal to charge from their centurion, who wields a club. For a moment, the Egyptians face them with pride; then they reluctantly retreat to their previous positions.

BRITANNUS. You are Caesar’s prisoners, all of you.

BRITANNUS. You’re all prisoners of Caesar.

CAESAR (benevolently). Oh no, no, no. By no means. Caesar’s guests, gentlemen.

CAESAR (kindly). Oh no, no, no. Absolutely not. Caesar’s guests, gentlemen.

CLEOPATRA. Won’t you cut their heads off?

CLEOPATRA. Will you cut their heads off?

CAESAR. What! Cut off your brother’s head?

CAESAR. What! You’re going to cut off your brother’s head?

CLEOPATRA. Why not? He would cut off mine, if he got the chance. Wouldn’t you, Ptolemy?

CLEOPATRA. Why not? He’d cut mine off if he got the chance. Wouldn’t you, Ptolemy?

PTOLEMY (pale and obstinate). I would. I will, too, when I grow up.

PTOLEMY (pale and stubborn). I would. I will, too, when I’m older.

Cleopatra is rent by a struggle between her newly-acquired dignity as a queen, and a strong impulse to put out her tongue at him. She takes no part in the scene which follows, but watches it with curiosity and wonder, fidgeting with the restlessness of a child, and sitting down on Caesar’s tripod when he rises.

Cleopatra is caught in a conflict between her newfound dignity as a queen and a strong urge to stick her tongue out at him. She doesn't get involved in the scene that follows but watches it with curiosity and amazement, fidgeting like a restless child, and sitting on Caesar’s tripod when he stands up.

POTHINUS. Caesar: if you attempt to detain us——

POTHINUS. Caesar: if you try to keep us here——

RUFIO. He will succeed, Egyptian: make up your mind to that. We hold the palace, the beach, and the eastern harbor. The road to Rome is open; and you shall travel it if Caesar chooses.

RUFIO. He will succeed, Egyptian: accept that. We control the palace, the beach, and the eastern harbor. The road to Rome is clear; and you will travel it if Caesar decides.

CAESAR (courteously). I could do no less, Pothinus, to secure the retreat of my own soldiers. I am accountable for every life among them. But you are free to go. So are all here, and in the palace.

CAESAR (courteously). I couldn't do anything less, Pothinus, to ensure my own soldiers' safe retreat. I’m responsible for every one of their lives. But you’re free to leave. So is everyone else here, and in the palace.

RUFIO (aghast at this clemency). What! Renegades and all?

RUFIO (shocked by this mercy). What! Renegades and everything?

CAESAR (softening the expression). Roman army of occupation and all, Rufio.

CAESAR (softening the expression). Roman occupation forces and all, Rufio.

POTHINUS (desperately). Then I make a last appeal to Caesar’s justice. I shall call a witness to prove that but for us, the Roman army of occupation, led by the greatest soldier in the world, would now have Caesar at its mercy. (Calling through the loggia) Ho, there, Lucius Septimius (Caesar starts, deeply moved): if my voice can reach you, come forth and testify before Caesar.

POTHINUS (desperately). Then I make a final plea to Caesar’s sense of justice. I will summon a witness to prove that if it weren't for us, the Roman occupying army, led by the greatest soldier in the world, would now have Caesar at its mercy. (Calling through the loggia) Hey, Lucius Septimius (Caesar starts, deeply moved): if you can hear me, come out and testify before Caesar.

CAESAR (shrinking). No, no.

CAESAR (shrinking). No way.

THEODOTUS. Yes, I say. Let the military tribune bear witness.

THEODOTUS. Yes, I agree. Let the military tribune testify.

Lucius Septimius, a clean shaven, trim athlete of about 40, with symmetrical features, resolute mouth, and handsome, thin Roman nose, in the dress of a Roman officer, comes in through the loggia and confronts Caesar, who hides his face with his robe for a moment; then, mastering himself, drops it, and confronts the tribune with dignity.

Lucius Septimius, a clean-shaven, fit man around 40, with well-proportioned features, a determined mouth, and an attractive, slender Roman nose, dressed as a Roman officer, enters through the loggia and faces Caesar, who briefly covers his face with his robe; then, getting control of himself, he uncovers it and meets the tribune with dignity.

POTHINUS. Bear witness, Lucius Septimius. Caesar came hither in pursuit of his foe. Did we shelter his foe?

POTHINUS. Witness this, Lucius Septimius. Caesar came here to chase his enemy. Did we protect his enemy?

LUCIUS. As Pompey’s foot touched the Egyptian shore, his head fell by the stroke of my sword.

LUCIUS. The moment Pompey set foot on Egyptian soil, my sword struck, and his head fell.

THEODOTUS (with viperish relish). Under the eyes of his wife and child! Remember that, Caesar! They saw it from the ship he had just left. We have given you a full and sweet measure of vengeance.

THEODOTUS (with viperish relish). Right in front of his wife and child! Keep that in mind, Caesar! They watched from the ship he just left. We've served you a complete and satisfying dose of revenge.

CAESAR (with horror). Vengeance!

CAESAR (in shock). Revenge!

POTHINUS. Our first gift to you, as your galley came into the roadstead, was the head of your rival for the empire of the world. Bear witness, Lucius Septimius: is it not so?

POTHINUS. Our first offering to you, as your ship arrived at the harbor, was the head of your opponent for world domination. Lucius Septimius, can you confirm this?

LUCIUS. It is so. With this hand, that slew Pompey, I placed his head at the feet of Caesar.

LUCIUS. It’s true. With this hand, that killed Pompey, I put his head at Caesar’s feet.

CAESAR. Murderer! So would you have slain Caesar, had Pompey been victorious at Pharsalia.

CAESAR. Murderer! Would you have killed Caesar if Pompey had won at Pharsalia?

LUCIUS. Woe to the vanquished, Caesar! When I served Pompey, I slew as good men as he, only because he conquered them. His turn came at last.

LUCIUS. Woe to the defeated, Caesar! When I was with Pompey, I killed just as many good men as he did, only because he was the one who won. His time came eventually.

THEODOTUS (flatteringly). The deed was not yours, Caesar, but ours—nay, mine; for it was done by my counsel. Thanks to us, you keep your reputation for clemency, and have your vengeance too.

THEODOTUS (flatteringly). The action wasn’t yours, Caesar, but ours—actually, it was mine; because it was done on my advice. Thanks to us, you maintain your reputation for mercy, and you get your revenge as well.

CAESAR. Vengeance! Vengeance!! Oh, if I could stoop to vengeance, what would I not exact from you as the price of this murdered man’s blood. (They shrink back, appalled and disconcerted.) Was he not my son-in-law, my ancient friend, for 20 years the master of great Rome, for 30 years the compeller of victory? Did not I, as a Roman, share his glory? Was the Fate that forced us to fight for the mastery of the world, of our making? Am I Julius Caesar, or am I a wolf, that you fling to me the grey head of the old soldier, the laurelled conqueror, the mighty Roman, treacherously struck down by this callous ruffian, and then claim my gratitude for it! (To Lucius Septimius) Begone: you fill me with horror.

CAESAR. Revenge! Revenge!! Oh, if I could lower myself to revenge, what wouldn’t I demand from you as payment for this murdered man’s blood. (They step back, shocked and unsettled.) Was he not my son-in-law, my longtime friend, the leader of great Rome for 20 years, the conqueror of victories for 30 years? Did I not, as a Roman, share in his glory? Was it our own making that led to our clash for control of the world? Am I Julius Caesar, or am I a beast, that you throw me the grey head of the old soldier, the crowned victor, the great Roman, cruelly struck down by this heartless thug, and then expect my gratitude for it! (To Lucius Septimius) Get out: you fill me with dread.

LUCIUS (cold and undaunted). Pshaw! You have seen severed heads before, Caesar, and severed right hands too, I think; some thousands of them, in Gaul, after you vanquished Vercingetorix. Did you spare him, with all your clemency? Was that vengeance?

LUCIUS (cold and unbothered). Come on! You've seen decapitated heads before, Caesar, and severed right hands too, I guess; thousands of them in Gaul after you defeated Vercingetorix. Did you really spare him, showing all that mercy? Was that revenge?

CAESAR. No, by the gods! would that it had been! Vengeance at least is human. No, I say: those severed right hands, and the brave Vercingetorix basely strangled in a vault beneath the Capitol, were (with shuddering satire) a wise severity, a necessary protection to the commonwealth, a duty of statesmanship—follies and fictions ten times bloodier than honest vengeance! What a fool was I then! To think that men’s lives should be at the mercy of such fools! (Humbly) Lucius Septimius, pardon me: why should the slayer of Vercingetorix rebuke the slayer of Pompey? You are free to go with the rest. Or stay if you will: I will find a place for you in my service.

CAESAR. No, by the gods! I wish it had been! At least vengeance is human. No, I say: those cut-off right hands, and the brave Vercingetorix shamefully strangled in a vault under the Capitol, were (with shuddering satire) a wise harshness, a necessary safeguard for the state, a leader's duty—follies and lies ten times bloodier than honest vengeance! What a fool was I back then! To think that people's lives should be at the mercy of such idiots! (Humbly) Lucius Septimius, forgive me: why should the killer of Vercingetorix criticize the killer of Pompey? You are free to leave with the others. Or stay if you want: I will find a position for you in my service.

LUCIUS. The odds are against you, Caesar. I go. (He turns to go out through the loggia.)

LUCIUS. The odds are not in your favor, Caesar. I’m leaving. (He turns to go out through the loggia.)

RUFIO (full of wrath at seeing his prey escaping). That means that he is a Republican.

RUFIO (angry at watching his target get away). That means he's a Republican.

LUCIUS (turning defiantly on the loggia steps). And what are you?

LUCIUS (turning defiantly on the loggia steps). And who are you?

RUFIO. A Caesarian, like all Caesar’s soldiers.

RUFIO. A Roman, just like all of Caesar's soldiers.

CAESAR (courteously). Lucius: believe me, Caesar is no Caesarian. Were Rome a true republic, then were Caesar the first of Republicans. But you have made your choice. Farewell.

CAESAR (politely). Lucius: honestly, Caesar is not a true Caesarian. If Rome were a real republic, then Caesar would be the first among Republicans. But you’ve made your decision. Goodbye.

LUCIUS. Farewell. Come, Achillas, whilst there is yet time.

LUCIUS. Goodbye. Come on, Achillas, while there's still time.

Caesar, seeing that Rufio’s temper threatens to get the worse of him, puts his hand on his shoulder and brings him down the hall out of harm’s way, Britannus accompanying them and posting himself on Caesar’s right hand. This movement brings the three in a little group to the place occupied by Achillas, who moves haughtily away and joins Theodotus on the other side. Lucius Septimius goes out through the soldiers in the loggia. Pothinus, Theodotus and Achillas follow him with the courtiers, very mistrustful of the soldiers, who close up in their rear and go out after them, keeping them moving without much ceremony. The King is left in his chair, piteous, obstinate, with twitching face and fingers. During these movements Rufio maintains an energetic grumbling, as follows:—

Caesar, noticing that Rufio’s temper is getting the better of him, puts his hand on his shoulder and leads him down the hall to safety, with Britannus following and positioning himself at Caesar’s right. This action brings the three of them into a small group near where Achillas is standing, who haughtily moves away to join Theodotus on the other side. Lucius Septimius exits through the soldiers in the loggia. Pothinus, Theodotus, and Achillas follow him along with the courtiers, wary of the soldiers, who close in behind them and push them along without much formality. The King is left in his chair, looking pathetic and stubborn, with a twitching face and fingers. Throughout this scene, Rufio keeps muttering energetically, as follows:—

RUFIO (as Lucius departs). Do you suppose he would let us go if he had our heads in his hands?

RUFIO (as Lucius leaves). Do you think he would let us go if he had our heads in his hands?

CAESAR. I have no right to suppose that his ways are any baser than mine.

CAESAR. I have no reason to think that his actions are any worse than mine.

RUFIO. Psha!

RUFIO. Whatever!

CAESAR. Rufio: if I take Lucius Septimius for my model, and become exactly like him, ceasing to be Caesar, will you serve me still?

CAESAR. Rufio: if I take Lucius Septimius as my example and become exactly like him, giving up my identity as Caesar, will you still serve me?

BRITANNUS. Caesar: this is not good sense. Your duty to Rome demands that her enemies should be prevented from doing further mischief. (Caesar, whose delight in the moral eye-to-business of his British secretary is inexhaustible, smiles intelligently.)

BRITANNUS. Caesar, this doesn't make any sense. Your responsibility to Rome requires that you stop her enemies from causing more harm. (Caesar, who endlessly enjoys the focused practicality of his British secretary, smiles knowingly.)

RUFIO. It is no use talking to him, Britannus: you may save your breath to cool your porridge. But mark this, Caesar. Clemency is very well for you; but what is it for your soldiers, who have to fight to-morrow the men you spared yesterday? You may give what orders you please; but I tell you that your next victory will be a massacre, thanks to your clemency. I, for one, will take no prisoners. I will kill my enemies in the field; and then you can preach as much clemency as you please: I shall never have to fight them again. And now, with your leave, I will see these gentry off the premises. (He turns to go.)

RUFIO. There’s no point in talking to him, Britannus: you might as well save your breath for cooling your porridge. But listen up, Caesar. Being merciful is fine for you; but what does it mean for your soldiers, who have to fight tomorrow against the guys you spared yesterday? You can give whatever orders you want; but I’ll tell you this: your next victory will turn into a massacre because of your mercy. As for me, I won’t take any prisoners. I’ll take down my enemies on the battlefield; and then you can preach mercy all you want: I won’t have to face them again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll see these guys off the premises. (He turns to go.)

CAESAR (turning also and seeing Ptolemy). What! Have they left the boy alone! Oh shame, shame!

CAESAR (turning and seeing Ptolemy). What! Have they left the kid alone! Oh, that's just wrong, wrong!

RUFIO (taking Ptolemy’s hand and making him rise). Come, your majesty!

RUFIO (taking Ptolemy’s hand and helping him up). Come on, your majesty!

PTOLEMY (to Caesar, drawing away his hand from Rufio). Is he turning me out of my palace?

PTOLEMY (to Caesar, pulling his hand away from Rufio). Is he kicking me out of my palace?

RUFIO (grimly). You are welcome to stay if you wish.

RUFIO (grimly). You can stay if you want.

CAESAR (kindly). Go, my boy. I will not harm you; but you will be safer away, among your friends. Here you are in the lion’s mouth.

CAESAR (kindly). Go on, my boy. I won’t hurt you; but you’ll be safer away, with your friends. You’re in a dangerous place here.

PTOLEMY (turning to go). It is not the lion I fear, but (looking at Rufio) the jackal. (He goes out through the loggia.)

PTOLEMY (turning to leave). It’s not the lion I’m afraid of, but (glancing at Rufio) the jackal. (He exits through the loggia.)

CAESAR (laughing approvingly). Brave boy!

CAESAR (laughing approvingly). Brave kid!

CLEOPATRA (jealous of Caesar’s approbation, calling after Ptolemy). Little silly. You think that very clever.

CLEOPATRA (jealous of Caesar’s approval, calling after Ptolemy). Little silly. You think that’s very clever.

CAESAR. Britannus: Attend the King. Give him in charge to that Pothinus fellow. (Britannus goes out after Ptolemy.)

CAESAR. Britannus: Wait on the King. Hand him over to that Pothinus guy. (Britannus goes out after Ptolemy.)

RUFIO (pointing to Cleopatra). And this piece of goods? What is to be done with her? However, I suppose I may leave that to you. (He goes out through the loggia.)

RUFIO (pointing to Cleopatra). And what about this one? What should we do with her? But I guess I'll let you handle that. (He goes out through the loggia.)

CLEOPATRA (flushing suddenly and turning on Caesar). Did you mean me to go with the rest?

CLEOPATRA (blushing suddenly and turning to Caesar). Did you want me to go with the others?

CAESAR (a little preoccupied, goes with a sigh to Ptolemy’s chair, whilst she waits for his answer with red cheeks and clenched fists). You are free to do just as you please, Cleopatra.

CAESAR (a bit distracted, sighs as he approaches Ptolemy’s chair, while she waits for his response with flushed cheeks and clenched fists). You can do whatever you want, Cleopatra.

CLEOPATRA. Then you do not care whether I stay or not?

CLEOPATRA. So, you don't care if I stay or go?

CAESAR (smiling). Of course I had rather you stayed.

CAESAR (smiling). Of course I’d prefer you to stay.

CLEOPATRA. Much, much rather?

CLEOPATRA. A lot, way more?

CAESAR (nodding). Much, much rather.

CAESAR (nodding). Way preferred.

CLEOPATRA. Then I consent to stay, because I am asked. But I do not want to, mind.

CLEOPATRA. Alright, I’ll stay because you asked. But just so you know, I don't really want to.

CAESAR. That is quite understood. (Calling) Totateeta.

CAESAR. That is completely understood. (Calling) Totateeta.

Ftatateeta, still seated, turns her eyes on him with a sinister expression, but does not move.

Ftatateeta, still sitting, looks at him with a sinister expression, but doesn't move.

CLEOPATRA (with a splutter of laughter). Her name is not Totateeta: it is Ftatateeta. (Calling) Ftatateeta. (Ftatateeta instantly rises and comes to Cleopatra.)

CLEOPATRA (with a burst of laughter). Her name isn't Totateeta; it's Ftatateeta. (Calling) Ftatateeta. (Ftatateeta immediately stands up and approaches Cleopatra.)

CAESAR (stumbling over the name). Tfatafeeta will forgive the erring tongue of a Roman. Tota: the Queen will hold her state here in Alexandria. Engage women to attend upon her; and do all that is needful.

CAESAR (stumbling over the name). Tfatafeeta will forgive a Roman's slip of the tongue. Tota: the Queen will hold her court here in Alexandria. Get women to attend her; and do everything necessary.

FTATATEETA. Am I then the mistress of the Queen’s household?

FTATATEETA. Am I really the head of the Queen’s household?

CLEOPATRA (sharply). No: I am the mistress of the Queen’s household. Go and do as you are told, or I will have you thrown into the Nile this very afternoon, to poison the poor crocodiles.

CLEOPATRA (sharply). No: I am in charge of the Queen’s household. Go and do what you're told, or I’ll have you thrown into the Nile this very afternoon, to poison the poor crocodiles.

CAESAR (shocked). Oh no, no.

CAESAR (shocked). Oh no!

CLEOPATRA. Oh yes, yes. You are very sentimental, Caesar; but you are clever; and if you do as I tell you, you will soon learn to govern.

CLEOPATRA. Oh yes, definitely. You're quite sentimental, Caesar; but you're smart; and if you follow my advice, you'll quickly learn how to rule.

Caesar, quite dumbfounded by this impertinence, turns in his chair and stares at her.

Caesar, totally taken aback by this boldness, turns in his chair and stares at her.

Ftatateeta, smiling grimly, and showing a splendid set of teeth, goes, leaving them alone together.

Ftatateeta, smiling wryly and revealing a dazzling smile, walks away, leaving them alone together.

CAESAR. Cleopatra: I really think I must eat you, after all.

CAESAR. Cleopatra: I honestly think I might have to eat you, after all.

CLEOPATRA (kneeling beside him and looking at him with eager interest, half real, half affected to shew how intelligent she is). You must not talk to me now as if I were a child.

CLEOPATRA (kneeling beside him and looking at him with eager interest, half real, half affected to show how intelligent she is). You can’t talk to me like I'm a child right now.

CAESAR. You have been growing up since the Sphinx introduced us the other night; and you think you know more than I do already.

CAESAR. You’ve been maturing since the Sphinx introduced us the other night, and you believe you already know more than I do.

CLEOPATRA (taken down, and anxious to justify herself). No: that would be very silly of me: of course I know that. But—(suddenly) are you angry with me?

CLEOPATRA (feeling down and eager to explain herself). No: that would be really foolish of me: of course I know that. But—(suddenly) are you upset with me?

CAESAR. No.

CAESAR. No.

CLEOPATRA (only half believing him). Then why are you so thoughtful?

CLEOPATRA (only half believing him). Then why are you so pensive?

CAESAR (rising). I have work to do, Cleopatra.

CAESAR (standing up). I have things to take care of, Cleopatra.

CLEOPATRA (drawing back). Work! (Offended) You are tired of talking to me; and that is your excuse to get away from me.

CLEOPATRA (drawing back). Work! (Offended) You're bored with talking to me, and that's your excuse to leave.

CAESAR (sitting down again to appease her). Well, well: another minute. But then—work!

CAESAR (sitting down again to calm her). Alright, alright: just one more minute. But then—let's get to work!

CLEOPATRA. Work! What nonsense! You must remember that you are a King now: I have made you one. Kings don’t work.

CLEOPATRA. Work! What nonsense! You have to remember that you're a King now: I made you one. Kings don’t work.

CAESAR. Oh! Who told you that, little kitten? Eh?

CAESAR. Oh! Who told you that, little cat? Huh?

CLEOPATRA. My father was King of Egypt; and he never worked. But he was a great king, and cut off my sister’s head because she rebelled against him and took the throne from him.

CLEOPATRA. My dad was the King of Egypt, and he never had to work. But he was a powerful king and had my sister executed because she rebelled against him and took the throne from him.

CAESAR. Well; and how did he get his throne back again?

CAESAR. So, how did he regain his throne?

CLEOPATRA (eagerly, her eyes lighting up). I will tell you. A beautiful young man, with strong round arms, came over the desert with many horsemen, and slew my sister’s husband and gave my father back his throne. (Wistfully) I was only twelve then. Oh, I wish he would come again, now that I am a Queen. I would make him my husband.

CLEOPATRA (eagerly, her eyes lighting up). I’ll tell you. A handsome young man, with strong, muscular arms, crossed the desert with a group of horsemen, killed my sister’s husband, and restored my father’s throne. (Wistfully) I was only twelve back then. Oh, I wish he would come again, now that I’m a Queen. I would make him my husband.

CAESAR. It might be managed, perhaps; for it was I who sent that beautiful young man to help your father.

CAESAR. It could be handled, maybe; because I was the one who sent that handsome young man to assist your father.

CLEOPATRA (enraptured). You know him!

CLEOPATRA (captivated). You know him!

CAESAR (nodding). I do.

CAESAR (nodding). I do.

CLEOPATRA. Has he come with you? (Caesar shakes his head: she is cruelly disappointed.) Oh, I wish he had, I wish he had. If only I were a little older; so that he might not think me a mere kitten, as you do! But perhaps that is because you are old. He is many, many years younger than you, is he not?

CLEOPATRA. Has he come with you? (Caesar shakes his head: she is deeply disappointed.) Oh, I wish he had, I really wish he had. If only I were a bit older; then he might not see me as just a little girl, like you do! But maybe that's because you are old. He is many, many years younger than you, right?

CAESAR (as if swallowing a pill). He is somewhat younger.

CAESAR (as if swallowing a pill). He looks a bit younger.

CLEOPATRA. Would he be my husband, do you think, if I asked him?

CLEOPATRA. Do you think he would marry me if I asked him?

CAESAR. Very likely.

CAESAR. Probably.

CLEOPATRA. But I should not like to ask him. Could you not persuade him to ask me—without knowing that I wanted him to?

CLEOPATRA. But I really wouldn’t want to ask him. Could you convince him to ask me—without realizing that I wanted him to?

CAESAR (touched by her innocence of the beautiful young man’s character). My poor child!

CAESAR (moved by her naivety about the charming young man's true nature). My poor child!

CLEOPATRA. Why do you say that as if you were sorry for me? Does he love anyone else?

CLEOPATRA. Why do you say that like you feel sorry for me? Does he love someone else?

CAESAR. I am afraid so.

CAESAR. I'm afraid so.

CLEOPATRA (tearfully). Then I shall not be his first love.

CLEOPATRA (tearfully). So I won't be his first love.

CAESAR. Not quite the first. He is greatly admired by women.

CAESAR. Not exactly the first. He is very popular with women.

CLEOPATRA. I wish I could be the first. But if he loves me, I will make him kill all the rest. Tell me: is he still beautiful? Do his strong round arms shine in the sun like marble?

CLEOPATRA. I wish I could be the first. But if he loves me, I'll make him get rid of all the others. Tell me: is he still handsome? Do his strong, muscular arms gleam in the sun like marble?

CAESAR. He is in excellent condition—considering how much he eats and drinks.

CAESAR. He's in great shape—given how much he eats and drinks.

CLEOPATRA. Oh, you must not say common, earthly things about him; for I love him. He is a god.

CLEOPATRA. Oh, you shouldn’t say ordinary, earthly things about him; I love him. He is a god.

CAESAR. He is a great captain of horsemen, and swifter of foot than any other Roman.

CAESAR. He is a great cavalry commander and faster on foot than any other Roman.

CLEOPATRA. What is his real name?

CLEOPATRA. What’s his actual name?

CAESAR (puzzled). His real name?

CAESAR (puzzled). His actual name?

CLEOPATRA. Yes. I always call him Horus, because Horus is the most beautiful of our gods. But I want to know his real name.

CLEOPATRA. Yes. I always call him Horus because Horus is the most beautiful of our gods. But I want to know his real name.

CAESAR. His name is Mark Antony.

CAESAR. His name is Mark Antony.

CLEOPATRA (musically). Mark Antony, Mark Antony, Mark Antony! What a beautiful name! (She throws her arms round Caesar’s neck.) Oh, how I love you for sending him to help my father! Did you love my father very much?

CLEOPATRA (musically). Mark Antony, Mark Antony, Mark Antony! What a gorgeous name! (She throws her arms around Caesar’s neck.) Oh, how I adore you for sending him to help my dad! Did you really love my dad a lot?

CAESAR. No, my child; but your father, as you say, never worked. I always work. So when he lost his crown he had to promise me 16,000 talents to get it back for him.

CAESAR. No, my child; but your father, as you say, never worked. I always work. So when he lost his crown, he had to agree to pay me 16,000 talents to get it back for him.

CLEOPATRA. Did he ever pay you?

CLEOPATRA. Did he ever pay you?

CAESAR. Not in full.

CAESAR. Not completely.

CLEOPATRA. He was quite right: it was too dear. The whole world is not worth 16,000 talents.

CLEOPATRA. He was totally right: it was way too expensive. The entire world isn't worth 16,000 talents.

CAESAR. That is perhaps true, Cleopatra. Those Egyptians who work paid as much of it as he could drag from them. The rest is still due. But as I most likely shall not get it, I must go back to my work. So you must run away for a little and send my secretary to me.

CAESAR. That might be true, Cleopatra. Those Egyptians who work paid as much of it as he could get from them. The rest is still owed. But since I probably won't get it, I need to get back to my work. So you should go away for a bit and send my secretary to me.

CLEOPATRA (coaxing). No: I want to stay and hear you talk about Mark Antony.

CLEOPATRA (coaxing). No: I want to stay and hear you talk about Mark Antony.

CAESAR. But if I do not get to work, Pothinus and the rest of them will cut us off from the harbor; and then the way from Rome will be blocked.

CAESAR. But if I don’t get to work, Pothinus and the others will cut us off from the harbor; and then the route from Rome will be blocked.

CLEOPATRA. No matter: I don’t want you to go back to Rome.

CLEOPATRA. It doesn't matter: I don’t want you to return to Rome.

CAESAR. But you want Mark Antony to come from it.

CAESAR. But you want Mark Antony to benefit from it.

CLEOPATRA (springing up). Oh yes, yes, yes: I forgot. Go quickly and work, Caesar; and keep the way over the sea open for my Mark Antony. (She runs out through the loggia, kissing her hand to Mark Antony across the sea.)

CLEOPATRA (springing up). Oh yes, yes, yes: I forgot. Go quickly and take action, Caesar; and keep the way across the sea open for my Mark Antony. (She runs out through the loggia, blowing a kiss to Mark Antony across the sea.)

CAESAR (going briskly up the middle of the hall to the loggia steps). Ho, Britannus. (He is startled by the entry of a wounded Roman soldier, who confronts him from the upper step.) What now?

CAESAR (walking quickly up the center of the hall to the loggia steps). Hey, Britannus. (He is surprised by the entrance of an injured Roman soldier, who faces him from the upper step.) What’s going on?

SOLDIER (pointing to his bandaged head). This, Caesar; and two of my comrades killed in the market place.

SOLDIER (pointing to his bandaged head). This is what happened, Caesar; and two of my comrades were killed in the marketplace.

CAESAR (quiet but attending). Ay. Why?

CAESAR (calm but paying attention). Yeah. Why?

SOLDIER. There is an army come to Alexandria, calling itself the Roman army.

SOLDIER. There’s an army that’s come to Alexandria, calling itself the Roman army.

CAESAR. The Roman army of occupation. Ay?

CAESAR. The occupying Roman army. Really?

SOLDIER. Commanded by one Achillas.

SOLDIER. Led by Achillas.

CAESAR. Well?

CAESAR. So?

SOLDIER. The citizens rose against us when the army entered the gates. I was with two others in the market place when the news came. They set upon us. I cut my way out; and here I am.

SOLDIER. The citizens attacked us when the army came through the gates. I was in the marketplace with two others when we heard the news. They came at us. I fought my way out, and here I am.

CAESAR. Good. I am glad to see you alive. (Rufio enters the loggia hastily, passing behind the soldier to look out through one of the arches at the quay beneath.) Rufio, we are besieged.

CAESAR. Great. I’m really glad to see you’re alive. (Rufio rushes into the loggia, moving past the soldier to look out through one of the arches at the quay below.) Rufio, we’re under siege.

RUFIO. What! Already?

RUFIO. What! Already?

CAESAR. Now or to-morrow: what does it matter? We shall be besieged.

CAESAR. Now or tomorrow: what difference does it make? We will be surrounded.

Britannus runs in.

Britannus rushes in.

BRITANNUS. Caesar——

BRITANNUS. Caesar—

CAESAR (anticipating him). Yes: I know. (Rufio and Britannus come down the hall from the loggia at opposite sides, past Caesar, who waits for a moment near the step to say to the soldier.) Comrade: give the word to turn out on the beach and stand by the boats. Get your wound attended to. Go. (The soldier hurries out. Caesar comes down the hall between Rufio and Britannus) Rufio: we have some ships in the west harbor. Burn them.

CAESAR (anticipating him). Yeah: I get it. (Rufio and Britannus enter the hall from the loggia on opposite sides, passing Caesar, who pauses for a moment near the step to address the soldier.) Comrade: tell everyone to gather on the beach and stay by the boats. Get your injury treated. Go. (The soldier rushes out. Caesar walks down the hall between Rufio and Britannus) Rufio: we have some ships in the west harbor. Set them on fire.

RUFIO (staring). Burn them!!

RUFIO (staring). Burn them!!

CAESAR. Take every boat we have in the east harbor, and seize the Pharos—that island with the lighthouse. Leave half our men behind to hold the beach and the quay outside this palace: that is the way home.

CAESAR. Take all the boats we have in the east harbor and take control of the Pharos—that island with the lighthouse. Leave half our men behind to hold the beach and the quay outside this palace: that's the way back home.

RUFIO (disapproving strongly). Are we to give up the city?

RUFIO (disapproving strongly). Are we really going to give up the city?

CAESAR. We have not got it, Rufio. This palace we have; and—what is that building next door?

CAESAR. We don't have it, Rufio. We've got this palace; and—what's that building next door?

RUFIO. The theatre.

RUFIO. The theater.

CAESAR. We will have that too: it commands the strand. For the rest, Egypt for the Egyptians!

CAESAR. We’ll take that too: it controls the shore. As for everything else, Egypt is for the Egyptians!

RUFIO. Well, you know best, I suppose. Is that all?

RUFIO. Well, I guess you know best. Is that it?

CAESAR. That is all. Are those ships burnt yet?

CAESAR. That’s everything. Are those ships burned yet?

RUFIO. Be easy: I shall waste no more time. (He runs out.)

RUFIO. Relax: I won't waste any more time. (He runs out.)

BRITANNUS. Caesar: Pothinus demands speech of you. It’s my opinion he needs a lesson. His manner is most insolent.

BRITANNUS. Caesar: Pothinus wants to talk to you. I think he needs a lesson. He's being really disrespectful.

CAESAR. Where is he?

CAESAR. Where is he now?

BRITANNUS. He waits without.

BRITANNUS. He's waiting outside.

CAESAR. Ho there! Admit Pothinus.

CAESAR. Hey there! Let Pothinus in.

Pothinus appears in the loggia, and comes down the hall very haughtily to Caesar’s left hand.

Pothinus enters the loggia and strides down the hall very arrogantly to Caesar’s left side.

CAESAR. Well, Pothinus?

CAESAR. So, Pothinus?

POTHINUS. I have brought you our ultimatum, Caesar.

POTHINUS. I've brought you our final demand, Caesar.

CAESAR. Ultimatum! The door was open: you should have gone out through it before you declared war. You are my prisoner now. (He goes to the chair and loosens his toga.)

CAESAR. Ultimatum! The door was open: you should have walked out before you declared war. You're my prisoner now. (He goes to the chair and loosens his toga.)

POTHINUS (scornfully). I your prisoner! Do you know that you are in Alexandria, and that King Ptolemy, with an army outnumbering your little troop a hundred to one, is in possession of Alexandria?

POTHINUS (scornfully). I your prisoner? Do you even realize that you’re in Alexandria, and that King Ptolemy, with an army that outnumbers your small group a hundred to one, controls Alexandria?

CAESAR (unconcernedly taking off his toga and throwing it on the chair). Well, my friend, get out if you can. And tell your friends not to kill any more Romans in the market place. Otherwise my soldiers, who do not share my celebrated clemency, will probably kill you. Britannus: pass the word to the guard; and fetch my armor. (Britannus runs out. Rufio returns.) Well?

CAESAR (carelessly taking off his toga and tossing it onto the chair). Alright, my friend, get out if you can. And tell your pals to stop killing any more Romans in the marketplace. Otherwise, my soldiers, who aren’t as famous for their mercy as I am, will likely kill you. Britannus: let the guard know; and get my armor. (Britannus runs out. Rufio returns.) So?

RUFIO (pointing from the loggia to a cloud of smoke drifting over the harbor). See there! (Pothinus runs eagerly up the steps to look out.)

RUFIO (pointing from the balcony to a cloud of smoke coming over the harbor). Look over there! (Pothinus rushes up the steps to take a look.)

CAESAR. What, ablaze already! Impossible!

CAESAR. What, on fire already! Impossible!

RUFIO. Yes, five good ships, and a barge laden with oil grappled to each. But it is not my doing: the Egyptians have saved me the trouble. They have captured the west harbor.

RUFIO. Yeah, five solid ships, and a barge loaded with oil attached to each. But this isn't my doing: the Egyptians have made it easy for me. They've taken control of the west harbor.

CAESAR (anxiously). And the east harbor? The lighthouse, Rufio?

CAESAR (anxiously). What about the east harbor? The lighthouse, Rufio?

RUFIO (with a sudden splutter of raging ill usage, coming down to Caesar and scolding him). Can I embark a legion in five minutes? The first cohort is already on the beach. We can do no more. If you want faster work, come and do it yourself?

RUFIO (with a sudden burst of furious frustration, approaching Caesar and berating him). Can I load a legion in five minutes? The first cohort is already on the beach. We can’t do any more. If you want it done faster, come do it yourself?

CAESAR (soothing him). Good, good. Patience, Rufio, patience.

CAESAR (soothing him). Alright, alright. Stay calm, Rufio, stay calm.

RUFIO. Patience! Who is impatient here, you or I? Would I be here, if I could not oversee them from that balcony?

RUFIO. Patience! Who's the one that's impatient here, you or me? Would I even be here if I couldn't keep an eye on them from that balcony?

CAESAR. Forgive me, Rufio; and (anxiously) hurry them as much as——

CAESAR. Forgive me, Rufio; and (anxiously) rush them as much as——

He is interrupted by an outcry as of an old man in the extremity of misfortune. It draws near rapidly; and Theodotus rushes in, tearing his hair, and squeaking the most lamentable exclamations. Rufio steps back to stare at him, amazed at his frantic condition. Pothinus turns to listen.

He's interrupted by the cries of an old man in deep distress. It comes closer quickly, and Theodotus bursts in, pulling at his hair and making the most pitiful exclamations. Rufio steps back to stare at him, stunned by his frantic state. Pothinus turns to listen.

THEODOTUS (on the steps, with uplifted arms). Horror unspeakable! Woe, alas! Help!

THEODOTUS (on the steps, with uplifted arms). Unspeakable horror! Oh no, what a tragedy! Help!

RUFIO. What now?

RUFIO. What’s happening now?

CAESAR (frowning). Who is slain?

CAESAR (frowning). Who's been killed?

THEODOTUS. Slain! Oh, worse than the death of ten thousand men! Loss irreparable to mankind!

THEODOTUS. Killed! Oh, worse than the death of ten thousand people! An irreplaceable loss for humanity!

RUFIO. What has happened, man?

RUFIO. What happened, man?

THEODOTUS (rushing down the hall between them). The fire has spread from your ships. The first of the seven wonders of the world perishes. The library of Alexandria is in flames.

THEODOTUS (rushing down the hall between them). The fire has spread from your ships. The first of the seven wonders of the world is dying. The library of Alexandria is on fire.

RUFIO. Psha! (Quite relieved, he goes up to the loggia and watches the preparations of the troops on the beach.)

RUFIO. Psha! (Clearly relieved, he heads up to the loggia and observes the troops getting ready on the beach.)

CAESAR. Is that all?

CAESAR. Is that everything?

THEODOTUS (unable to believe his senses). All! Caesar: will you go down to posterity as a barbarous soldier too ignorant to know the value of books?

THEODOTUS (unable to believe his senses). What! Caesar: will you be remembered as a brutal soldier too ignorant to understand the value of books?

CAESAR. Theodotus: I am an author myself; and I tell you it is better that the Egyptians should live their lives than dream them away with the help of books.

CAESAR. Theodotus: I’m a writer too; and I tell you it’s better for the Egyptians to live their lives than to just dream them away with books.

THEODOTUS (kneeling, with genuine literary emotion: the passion of the pedant). Caesar: once in ten generations of men, the world gains an immortal book.

THEODOTUS (kneeling, with genuine literary emotion: the passion of the pedant). Caesar: once in every ten generations, the world sees an immortal book.

CAESAR (inflexible). If it did not flatter mankind, the common executioner would burn it.

CAESAR (inflexible). If it didn't flatter people, the average executioner would burn it.

THEODOTUS. Without history, death would lay you beside your meanest soldier.

THEODOTUS. Without history, death would place you alongside your lowest-ranking soldier.

CAESAR. Death will do that in any case. I ask no better grave.

CAESAR. Death will take care of that no matter what. I couldn’t ask for a better resting place.

THEODOTUS. What is burning there is the memory of mankind.

THEODOTUS. What is burning there is the memory of humanity.

CAESAR. A shameful memory. Let it burn.

CAESAR. A humiliating memory. Let it go.

THEODOTUS (wildly). Will you destroy the past?

THEODOTUS (wildly). Are you going to erase the past?

CAESAR. Ay, and build the future with its ruins. (Theodotus, in despair, strikes himself on the temples with his fists.) But harken, Theodotus, teacher of kings: you who valued Pompey’s head no more than a shepherd values an onion, and who now kneel to me, with tears in your old eyes, to plead for a few sheepskins scrawled with errors. I cannot spare you a man or a bucket of water just now; but you shall pass freely out of the palace. Now, away with you to Achillas; and borrow his legions to put out the fire. (He hurries him to the steps.)

CAESAR. Yeah, and build the future from its ruins. (Theodotus, in despair, hits his temples with his fists.) But listen, Theodotus, teacher of kings: you who valued Pompey's head as little as a shepherd values an onion, and who now kneel before me, tears in your old eyes, begging for a few scraps of paper filled with mistakes. I can't spare you a man or even a bucket of water right now; but you can leave the palace freely. Now, go to Achillas and borrow his legions to put out the fire. (He hurries him to the steps.)

POTHINUS (significantly). You understand, Theodotus: I remain a prisoner.

POTHINUS (significantly). You get it, Theodotus: I’m still a prisoner.

THEODOTUS. A prisoner!

THEODOTUS. A captive!

CAESAR. Will you stay to talk whilst the memory of mankind is burning? (Calling through the loggia) Ho there! Pass Theodotus out. (To Theodotus) Away with you.

CAESAR. Will you stick around to talk while everyone's memory is fading? (Calling through the loggia) Hey there! Let Theodotus out. (To Theodotus) Get lost.

THEODOTUS (to Pothinus). I must go to save the library. (He hurries out.)

THEODOTUS (to Pothinus). I need to go save the library. (He rushes out.)

CAESAR. Follow him to the gate, Pothinus. Bid him urge your people to kill no more of my soldiers, for your sake.

CAESAR. Follow him to the gate, Pothinus. Tell him to encourage your people not to kill any more of my soldiers, for your own good.

POTHINUS. My life will cost you dear if you take it, Caesar. (He goes out after Theodotus.)

POTHINUS. My life will be expensive for you if you take it, Caesar. (He goes out after Theodotus.)

Rufio, absorbed in watching the embarkation, does not notice the departure of the two Egyptians.

Rufio, caught up in watching the boarding, doesn't notice when the two Egyptians leave.

RUFIO (shouting from the loggia to the beach). All ready, there?

RUFIO (shouting from the balcony to the beach). All set down there?

A CENTURION (from below). All ready. We wait for Caesar.

A CENTURION (from below). All set. We're waiting for Caesar.

CAESAR. Tell them Caesar is coming—the rogues! (Calling) Britannicus. (This magniloquent version of his secretary’s name is one of Caesar’s jokes. In later years it would have meant, quite seriously and officially, Conqueror of Britain.)

CAESAR. Let them know that Caesar is on his way—the scoundrels! (Calling) Britannicus. (This grandiose version of his secretary’s name is one of Caesar’s jokes. In later years, it would have meant, quite seriously and officially, Conqueror of Britain.)

RUFIO (calling down). Push off, all except the longboat. Stand by it to embark, Caesar’s guard there. (He leaves the balcony and comes down into the hall.) Where are those Egyptians? Is this more clemency? Have you let them go?

RUFIO (calling down). Everyone clear out except for the longboat crew. Get ready to board; Caesar’s guard is over there. (He leaves the balcony and comes down into the hall.) Where are those Egyptians? Is this more leniency? Did you let them go?

CAESAR (chuckling). I have let Theodotus go to save the library. We must respect literature, Rufio.

CAESAR (chuckling). I’ve let Theodotus go to save the library. We need to respect literature, Rufio.

RUFIO (raging). Folly on folly’s head! I believe if you could bring back all the dead of Spain, Gaul and Thessaly to life, you would do it that we might have the trouble of fighting them over again.

RUFIO (raging). What a ridiculous idea! I honestly think if you could resurrect all the dead from Spain, Gaul, and Thessaly, you’d do it just so we could go through the hassle of fighting them all over again.

CAESAR. Might not the gods destroy the world if their only thought were to be at peace next year? (Rufio, out of all patience, turns away in anger. Caesar suddenly grips his sleeve, and adds slyly in his ear.) Besides, my friend: every Egyptian we imprison means imprisoning two Roman soldiers to guard him. Eh?

CAESAR. What if the gods decided to wipe out the world just because they wanted peace next year? (Rufio, losing his patience, turns away angrily. Caesar suddenly grabs his sleeve and whispers slyly in his ear.) Besides, my friend: for every Egyptian we capture, we need to capture two Roman soldiers to keep watch over him. Right?

RUFIO. Agh! I might have known there was some fox’s trick behind your fine talking. (He gets away from Caesar with an ill-humored shrug, and goes to the balcony for another look at the preparations; finally goes out.)

RUFIO. Ugh! I should have suspected there was a trick behind your smooth words. (He shrugs off Caesar in a bad mood and heads to the balcony for another look at the preparations; eventually leaves.)

CAESAR. Is Britannus asleep? I sent him for my armor an hour ago. (Calling) Britannicus, thou British islander. Britannicus!

CAESAR. Is Britannus asleep? I sent him for my armor an hour ago. (Calling) Britannicus, you British islander. Britannicus!

Cleopatra runs in through the loggia with Caesar’s helmet and sword, snatched from Britannus, who follows her with a cuirass and greaves. They come down to Caesar, she to his left hand, Britannus to his right.

Cleopatra bursts in through the loggia with Caesar’s helmet and sword, taken from Britannus, who follows her with a breastplate and shin guards. They approach Caesar, she on his left side, Britannus on his right.

CLEOPATRA. I am going to dress you, Caesar. Sit down. (He obeys.) These Roman helmets are so becoming! (She takes off his wreath.) Oh! (She bursts out laughing at him.)

CLEOPATRA. I'm going to dress you, Caesar. Sit down. (He obeys.) These Roman helmets look great on you! (She takes off his wreath.) Oh! (She bursts out laughing at him.)

CAESAR. What are you laughing at?

CAESAR. What are you laughing about?

CLEOPATRA. You’re bald (beginning with a big B, and ending with a splutter).

CLEOPATRA. You’re bald (starting with a big B, and ending with a splutter).

CAESAR (almost annoyed). Cleopatra! (He rises, for the convenience of Britannus, who puts the cuirass on him.)

CAESAR (almost annoyed). Cleopatra! (He stands up to make it easier for Britannus, who puts the armor on him.)

CLEOPATRA. So that is why you wear the wreath—to hide it.

CLEOPATRA. So that’s why you wear the crown—to hide it.

BRITANNUS. Peace, Egyptian: they are the bays of the conqueror. (He buckles the cuirass.)

BRITANNUS. Chill out, Egyptian: those are the laurels of the victor. (He fastens the armor.)

CLEOPATRA. Peace, thou: islander! (To Caesar) You should rub your head with strong spirits of sugar, Caesar. That will make it grow.

CLEOPATRA. Chill out, you islander! (To Caesar) You should put some strong sugar spirits on your head, Caesar. That’ll make it grow.

CAESAR (with a wry face). Cleopatra: do you like to be reminded that you are very young?

CAESAR (with a wry face). Cleopatra: do you enjoy being reminded that you're really young?

CLEOPATRA (pouting). No.

CLEOPATRA (pouting). Nah.

CAESAR (sitting down again, and setting out his leg for Britannus, who kneels to put on his greaves). Neither do I like to be reminded that I am—middle aged. Let me give you ten of my superfluous years. That will make you 26 and leave me only—no matter. Is it a bargain?

CAESAR (sitting down again, and extending his leg for Britannus, who kneels to put on his greaves). I don’t like being reminded that I’m—middle-aged. How about I give you ten of my extra years? That will make you 26 and leave me only—never mind. Deal?

CLEOPATRA. Agreed. 26, mind. (She puts the helmet on him.) Oh! How nice! You look only about 50 in it!

CLEOPATRA. Agreed. 26, mind. (She puts the helmet on him.) Oh! How nice! You look only about 50 in it!

BRITANNUS (Looking up severely at Cleopatra). You must not speak in this manner to Caesar.

BRITANNUS (Looking up seriously at Cleopatra). You can't talk to Caesar like that.

CLEOPATRA. Is it true that when Caesar caught you on that island, you were painted all over blue?

CLEOPATRA. Is it true that when Caesar found you on that island, you were covered in blue paint?

BRITANNUS. Blue is the color worn by all Britons of good standing. In war we stain our bodies blue; so that though our enemies may strip us of our clothes and our lives, they cannot strip us of our respectability. (He rises.)

BRITANNUS. Blue is the color worn by all respectable Britons. In war, we paint our bodies blue; so even if our enemies take away our clothes and our lives, they can't take away our honor. (He rises.)

CLEOPATRA (with Caesar’s sword). Let me hang this on. Now you look splendid. Have they made any statues of you in Rome?

CLEOPATRA (with Caesar’s sword). Let me put this on. Now you look fantastic. Have they made any statues of you in Rome?

CAESAR. Yes, many statues.

CAESAR. Yes, lots of statues.

CLEOPATRA. You must send for one and give it to me.

CLEOPATRA. You need to call for one and give it to me.

RUFIO (coming back into the loggia, more impatient than ever). Now Caesar: have you done talking? The moment your foot is aboard there will be no holding our men back: the boats will race one another for the lighthouse.

RUFIO (coming back into the loggia, more impatient than ever). Now Caesar: have you finished talking? The second your foot is on the ship, our guys won’t be able to hold back: the boats will race each other to the lighthouse.

CAESAR (drawing his sword and trying the edge). Is this well set to-day, Britannicus? At Pharsalia it was as blunt as a barrel-hoop.

CAESAR (drawing his sword and testing the edge). Is this sharp today, Britannicus? At Pharsalia, it was as dull as a barrel hoop.

BRITANNUS. It will split one of the Egyptian’s hairs to-day, Caesar. I have set it myself.

BRITANNUS. It will split one of the Egyptian’s hairs today, Caesar. I set it up myself.

CLEOPATRA (suddenly throwing her arms in terror round Caesar). Oh, you are not really going into battle to be killed?

CLEOPATRA (suddenly throwing her arms in terror around Caesar). Oh, you’re not seriously going into battle to get killed, are you?

CAESAR. No, Cleopatra. No man goes to battle to be killed.

CAESAR. No, Cleopatra. No man goes into battle to get killed.

CLEOPATRA. But they do get killed. My sister’s husband was killed in battle. You must not go. Let him go (pointing to Rufio. They all laugh at her). Oh please, please don’t go. What will happen to me if you never come back?

CLEOPATRA. But they do get killed. My sister’s husband was killed in battle. You shouldn’t go. Let him go (pointing to Rufio. They all laugh at her). Oh please, please don’t go. What will happen to me if you never come back?

CAESAR (gravely). Are you afraid?

CAESAR (seriously). Are you scared?

CLEOPATRA (shrinking). No.

CLEOPATRA (shrinking). Nope.

CAESAR (with quiet authority). Go to the balcony; and you shall see us take the Pharos. You must learn to look on battles. Go. (She goes, downcast, and looks out from the balcony.) That is well. Now, Rufio. March.

CAESAR (with calm authority). Go to the balcony; and you'll see us take the Pharos. You need to learn to watch battles. Go. (She goes, feeling down, and looks out from the balcony.) That's good. Now, Rufio. March.

CLEOPATRA (suddenly clapping her hands). Oh, you will not be able to go!

CLEOPATRA (suddenly clapping her hands). Oh, you can't leave!

CAESAR. Why? What now?

CAESAR. Why? What's happening now?

CLEOPATRA. They are drying up the harbor with buckets—a multitude of soldiers—over there (pointing out across the sea to her left)—they are dipping up the water.

CLEOPATRA. They're draining the harbor with buckets—a lot of soldiers—over there (pointing out across the sea to her left)—they're scooping up the water.

RUFIO (hastening to look). It is true. The Egyptian army! Crawling over the edge of the west harbor like locusts. (With sudden anger he strides down to Caesar.) This is your accursed clemency, Caesar. Theodotus has brought them.

RUFIO (hastening to look). It's true. The Egyptian army! Swarming over the edge of the west harbor like locusts. (With sudden anger he strides down to Caesar.) This is your cursed mercy, Caesar. Theodotus has brought them.

CAESAR (delighted at his own cleverness). I meant him to, Rufio. They have come to put out the fire. The library will keep them busy whilst we seize the lighthouse. Eh? (He rushes out buoyantly through the loggia, followed by Britannus.)

CAESAR (pleased with himself). I wanted him to, Rufio. They've come to put out the fire. The library will keep them occupied while we take the lighthouse. Right? (He dashes out cheerfully through the loggia, followed by Britannus.)

RUFIO (disgustedly). More foxing! Agh! (He rushes off. A shout from the soldiers announces the appearance of Caesar below.)

RUFIO (disgustedly). More foxing! Ugh! (He rushes off. A shout from the soldiers announces the appearance of Caesar below.)

CENTURION (below). All aboard. Give way there. (Another shout.)

CENTURION (below). Everyone on board. Make way there. (Another shout.)

CLEOPATRA (waving her scarf through the loggia arch). Goodbye, goodbye, dear Caesar. Come back safe. Goodbye!

CLEOPATRA (waving her scarf through the loggia arch). Goodbye, goodbye, dear Caesar. Come back safe. Goodbye!





ACT III

The edge of the quay in front of the palace, looking out west over the east harbor of Alexandria to Pharos island, just off the end of which, and connected with it by a narrow mole, is the famous lighthouse, a gigantic square tower of white marble diminishing in size storey by storey to the top, on which stands a cresset beacon. The island is joined to the main land by the Heptastadium, a great mole or causeway five miles long bounding the harbor on the south.

The edge of the quay in front of the palace looks west over the east harbor of Alexandria towards Pharos Island. Just off the tip of the island, connected by a narrow causeway, is the famous lighthouse, a massive square tower made of white marble that narrows in size from each floor up to the top, where a beacon stands. The island is linked to the mainland by the Heptastadium, a long causeway that stretches five miles and borders the harbor on the south.

In the middle of the quay a Roman sentinel stands on guard, pilum in hand, looking out to the lighthouse with strained attention, his left hand shading his eyes. The pilum is a stout wooden shaft 4½ feet long, with an iron spit about three feet long fixed in it. The sentinel is so absorbed that he does not notice the approach from the north end of the quay of four Egyptian market porters carrying rolls of carpet, preceded by Ftatateeta and Apollodorus the Sicilian. Apollodorus is a dashing young man of about 24, handsome and debonair, dressed with deliberate æstheticism in the most delicate purples and dove greys, with ornaments of bronze, oxydized silver, and stones of jade and agate. His sword, designed as carefully as a medieval cross, has a blued blade showing through an openwork scabbard of purple leather and filagree. The porters, conducted by Ftatateeta, pass along the quay behind the sentinel to the steps of the palace, where they put down their bales and squat on the ground. Apollodorus does not pass along with them: he halts, amused by the preoccupation of the sentinel.

In the middle of the dock, a Roman guard stands watch, pilum in hand, staring intently at the lighthouse with his left hand shielding his eyes. The pilum is a sturdy wooden spear that’s 4½ feet long, with an iron tip about three feet long attached to it. The guard is so focused that he doesn’t notice four Egyptian market porters coming from the north end of the dock, carrying rolls of carpet, with Ftatateeta and Apollodorus the Sicilian leading the way. Apollodorus is a charming young man of about 24, strikingly good-looking, dressed in refined shades of purple and dove gray, and adorned with bronze, oxidized silver, and jade and agate stones. His sword, crafted with the same care as a medieval cross, has a blued blade visible through an intricately designed scabbard made of purple leather. The porters, led by Ftatateeta, pass by the guard and make their way to the palace steps, where they drop their bundles and sit on the ground. Apollodorus doesn’t follow them; instead, he stops, intrigued by the guard’s intense focus.



APOLLODORUS (calling to the sentinel). Who goes there, eh?

APOLLODORUS (calling to the guard). Who's there?

SENTINEL (starting violently and turning with his pilum at the charge, revealing himself as a small, wiry, sandy-haired, conscientious young man with an elderly face). What’s this? Stand. Who are you?

SENTINEL (starting abruptly and turning with his spear ready, showing himself to be a small, wiry, sandy-haired young man who looks much older than he is). What’s going on? Stop. Who are you?

APOLLODORUS. I am Apollodorus the Sicilian. Why, man, what are you dreaming of? Since I came through the lines beyond the theatre there, I have brought my caravan past three sentinels, all so busy staring at the lighthouse that not one of them challenged me. Is this Roman discipline?

APOLLODORUS. I'm Apollodorus from Sicily. Seriously, what are you thinking? Since I walked through the lines beyond the theater over there, I've gotten my caravan past three guards, all so focused on staring at the lighthouse that not one of them stopped me. Is this what Roman discipline looks like?

SENTINEL. We are not here to watch the land but the sea. Caesar has just landed on the Pharos. (Looking at Ftatateeta) What have you here? Who is this piece of Egyptian crockery?

SENTINEL. We’re not here to keep an eye on the land but the sea. Caesar has just arrived at the Pharos. (Looking at Ftatateeta) What do you have here? Who is this piece of Egyptian pottery?

FTATATEETA. Apollodorus: rebuke this Roman dog; and bid him bridle his tongue in the presence of Ftatateeta, the mistress of the Queen’s household.

FTATATEETA. Apollodorus: scold this Roman guy; and tell him to watch his words in front of Ftatateeta, the head of the Queen’s household.

APOLLODORUS. My friend: this is a great lady, who stands high with Caesar.

APOLLODORUS. My friend, this is an important woman who has a close relationship with Caesar.

SENTINEL (not at all impressed, pointing to the carpets). And what is all this truck?

SENTINEL (not impressed at all, pointing to the carpets). And what’s all this stuff?

APOLLODORUS. Carpets for the furnishing of the Queen’s apartments in the palace. I have picked them from the best carpets in the world; and the Queen shall choose the best of my choosing.

APOLLODORUS. Carpets for decorating the Queen's rooms in the palace. I've selected them from the finest carpets in the world, and the Queen will select the best from my selection.

SENTINEL. So you are the carpet merchant?

SENTINEL. So, you’re the carpet seller?

APOLLODORUS (hurt). My friend: I am a patrician.

APOLLODORUS (hurt). My friend: I'm a nobleman.

SENTINEL. A patrician! A patrician keeping a shop instead of following arms!

SENTINEL. A noble! A noble running a shop instead of serving in the military!

APOLLODORUS. I do not keep a shop. Mine is a temple of the arts. I am a worshipper of beauty. My calling is to choose beautiful things for beautiful Queens. My motto is Art for Art’s sake.

APOLLODORUS. I don’t run a shop. I have a place dedicated to the arts. I’m a devotee of beauty. My job is to select beautiful items for beautiful Queens. My motto is Art for Art’s sake.

SENTINEL. That is not the password.

SENTINEL. That isn't the password.

APOLLODORUS. It is a universal password.

APOLLODORUS. It's a master password.

SENTINEL. I know nothing about universal passwords. Either give me the password for the day or get back to your shop.

SENTINEL. I don't know anything about universal passwords. Just give me the daily password or go back to your store.

Ftatateeta, roused by his hostile tone, steals towards the edge of the quay with the step of a panther, and gets behind him.

Ftatateeta, triggered by his aggressive tone, stealthily moves to the edge of the quay like a panther and positions herself behind him.

APOLLODORUS. How if I do neither?

APOLLODORUS. What if I don't do either?

SENTINEL. Then I will drive this pilum through you.

SENTINEL. Then I will stab you with this spear.

APOLLODORUS. At your service, my friend. (He draws his sword, and springs to his guard with unruffled grace.)

APOLLODORUS. At your service, my friend. (He draws his sword and takes his stance with effortless poise.)

FTATATEETA (suddenly seizing the sentinel’s arms from behind). Thrust your knife into the dog’s throat, Apollodorus. (The chivalrous Apollodorus laughingly shakes his head; breaks ground away from the sentinel towards the palace; and lowers his point.)

FTATATEETA (suddenly grabbing the sentinel’s arms from behind). Stab the dog in the throat, Apollodorus. (The gallant Apollodorus laughs and shakes his head; steps away from the sentinel towards the palace; and lowers his weapon.)

SENTINEL (struggling vainly). Curse on you! Let me go. Help ho!

SENTINEL (struggling in vain). Damn you! Let me go. Help!

FTATATEETA (lifting him from the ground). Stab the little Roman reptile. Spit him on your sword.

FTATATEETA (lifting him from the ground). Stab the little Roman lizard. Impale him on your sword.

A couple of Roman soldiers, with a centurion, come running along the edge of the quay from the north end. They rescue their comrade, and throw off Ftatateeta, who is sent reeling away on the left hand of the sentinel.

A couple of Roman soldiers, along with a centurion, come running along the edge of the dock from the north end. They save their comrade and push Ftatateeta away, who stumbles off to the left side of the guard.

CENTURION (an unattractive man of fifty, short in his speech and manners, with a vine wood cudgel in his hand). How now? What is all this?

CENTURION (an unattractive man of fifty, brief in his speech and demeanor, holding a vine wood stick in his hand). What’s going on here?

FTATATEETA (to Apollodorus). Why did you not stab him? There was time!

FTATATEETA (to Apollodorus). Why didn’t you stab him? There was plenty of time!

APOLLODORUS. Centurion: I am here by order of the Queen to——

APOLLODORUS. Centurion: I’m here on the Queen’s orders to——

CENTURION (interrupting him). The Queen! Yes, yes: (to the sentinel) pass him in. Pass all these bazaar people in to the Queen, with their goods. But mind you pass no one out that you have not passed in—not even the Queen herself.

CENTURION (interrupting him). The Queen! Absolutely: (to the sentinel) let him in. Let all these market people in to see the Queen with their goods. But make sure you don't let anyone out that you haven't let in—not even the Queen herself.

SENTINEL. This old woman is dangerous: she is as strong as three men. She wanted the merchant to stab me.

SENTINEL. This old woman is dangerous: she’s as strong as three men. She wanted the merchant to stab me.

APOLLODORUS. Centurion: I am not a merchant. I am a patrician and a votary of art.

APOLLODORUS. Centurion: I’m not a merchant. I’m a nobleman and a supporter of the arts.

CENTURION. Is the woman your wife?

CENTURION. Is the woman your wife?

APOLLODORUS (horrified). No, no! (Correcting himself politely) Not that the lady is not a striking figure in her own way. But (emphatically) she is not my wife.

APOLLODORUS (horrified). No, no! (Correcting himself politely) It's not that the lady isn't impressive in her own right. But (emphatically) she is not my wife.

FTATATEETA (to the Centurion). Roman: I am Ftatateeta, the mistress of the Queen’s household.

FTATATEETA (to the Centurion). Roman: I am Ftatateeta, the head of the Queen’s household.

CENTURION. Keep your hands off our men, mistress; or I will have you pitched into the harbor, though you were as strong as ten men. (To his men) To your posts: march! (He returns with his men the way they came.)

CENTURION. Keep your hands off our men, lady; or I’ll have you thrown into the harbor, even if you’re as strong as ten men. (To his men) To your posts: march! (He returns with his men the way they came.)

FTATATEETA (looking malignantly after him). We shall see whom Isis loves best: her servant Ftatateeta or a dog of a Roman.

FTATATEETA (looking maliciously after him). We'll see who Isis loves the most: her servant Ftatateeta or a Roman dog.

SENTINEL (to Apollodorus, with a wave of his pilum towards the palace). Pass in there; and keep your distance. (Turning to Ftatateeta) Come within a yard of me, you old crocodile; and I will give you this (the pilum) in your jaws.

SENTINEL (to Apollodorus, gesturing with his spear towards the palace). Go in there, and stay back. (Turning to Ftatateeta) Get any closer to me, you old crocodile, and I’ll shove this (the spear) right in your mouth.

CLEOPATRA (calling from the palace). Ftatateeta, Ftatateeta.

CLEOPATRA (calling from the palace). Ftatateeta, Ftatateeta.

FTATATEETA (Looking up, scandalized). Go from the window, go from the window. There are men here.

FTATATEETA (Looking up, shocked). Get away from the window, get away from the window. There are men here.

CLEOPATRA. I am coming down.

CLEOPATRA. I'm coming down.

FTATATEETA (distracted). No, no. What are you dreaming of? O ye gods, ye gods! Apollodorus: bid your men pick up your bales; and in with me quickly.

FTATATEETA (distracted). No, no. What are you daydreaming about? Oh gods, oh gods! Apollodorus: tell your men to grab your bales; and hurry in with me.

APOLLODORUS. Obey the mistress of the Queen’s household.

APOLLODORUS. Follow the orders of the Queen's household manager.

FTATATEETA (impatiently, as the porters stoop to lift the bales). Quick, quick: she will be out upon us. (Cleopatra comes from the palace and runs across the quay to Ftatateeta.) Oh that ever I was born!

FTATATEETA (impatiently, as the porters bend to lift the bales). Hurry, hurry: she’ll be here any moment. (Cleopatra comes from the palace and runs across the quay to Ftatateeta.) Oh, why was I ever born!

CLEOPATRA (eagerly). Ftatateeta: I have thought of something. I want a boat—at once.

CLEOPATRA (eagerly). Ftatateeta: I've come up with an idea. I need a boat—right now.

FTATATEETA. A boat! No, no: you cannot. Apollodorus: speak to the Queen.

FTATATEETA. A boat! No, no: you can't. Apollodorus: talk to the Queen.

APOLLODORUS (gallantly). Beautiful Queen: I am Apollodorus the Sicilian, your servant, from the bazaar. I have brought you the three most beautiful Persian carpets in the world to choose from.

APOLLODORUS (enthusiastically). Beautiful Queen: I’m Apollodorus the Sicilian, your servant from the marketplace. I’ve brought you the three most stunning Persian carpets in the world for you to pick from.

CLEOPATRA. I have no time for carpets to-day. Get me a boat.

CLEOPATRA. I don't have time for carpets today. Get me a boat.

FTATATEETA. What whim is this? You cannot go on the water except in the royal barge.

FTATATEETA. What is this nonsense? You can't go on the water unless it's in the royal barge.

APOLLODORUS. Royalty, Ftatateeta, lies not in the barge but in the Queen. (To Cleopatra) The touch of your majesty’s foot on the gunwale of the meanest boat in the harbor will make it royal. (He turns to the harbor and calls seaward) Ho there, boatman! Pull in to the steps.

APOLLODORUS. Royalty, Ftatateeta, isn't found in the barge but in the Queen. (To Cleopatra) The moment your majesty’s foot touches the side of even the simplest boat in the harbor, it becomes royal. (He turns to the harbor and calls out to the sea) Hey there, boatman! Bring the boat in to the steps.

CLEOPATRA. Apollodorus: you are my perfect knight; and I will always buy my carpets through you. (Apollodorus bows joyously. An oar appears above the quay; and the boatman, a bullet-headed, vivacious, grinning fellow, burnt almost black by the sun, comes up a flight of steps from the water on the sentinel’s right, oar in hand, and waits at the top.) Can you row, Apollodorus?

CLEOPATRA. Apollodorus, you’re my ideal knight; I’ll always get my carpets from you. (Apollodorus bows happily. An oar appears above the dock; a cheerful, bald-headed boatman, tanned almost black by the sun, comes up a flight of steps from the water on the guard's right, oar in hand, and waits at the top.) Can you row, Apollodorus?

APOLLODORUS. My oars shall be your majesty’s wings. Whither shall I row my Queen?

APOLLODORUS. My oars will be your majesty's wings. Where should I row my Queen?

CLEOPATRA. To the lighthouse. Come. (She makes for the steps.)

CLEOPATRA. To the lighthouse. Come. (She heads for the steps.)

SENTINEL (opposing her with his pilum at the charge). Stand. You cannot pass.

SENTINEL (pointing his pilum at her to block her path). Stop. You can't go through.

CLEOPATRA (flushing angrily). How dare you? Do you know that I am the Queen?

CLEOPATRA (flushing angrily). How dare you? Do you realize I am the Queen?

SENTINEL. I have my orders. You cannot pass.

SENTINEL. I've got my orders. You can't get through.

CLEOPATRA. I will make Caesar have you killed if you do not obey me.

CLEOPATRA. I will make sure Caesar has you killed if you don’t listen to me.

SENTINEL. He will do worse to me if I disobey my officer. Stand back.

SENTINEL. He'll treat me even worse if I go against my officer. Back off.

CLEOPATRA. Ftatateeta: strangle him.

CLEOPATRA. Ftatateeta: choke him.

SENTINEL (alarmed—looking apprehensively at Ftatateeta, and brandishing his pilum). Keep off, there.

SENTINEL (alarmed—looking worriedly at Ftatateeta, and waving his weapon). Stay back, there.

CLEOPATRA (running to Apollodorus). Apollodorus: make your slaves help us.

CLEOPATRA (running to Apollodorus). Apollodorus: get your slaves to help us.

APOLLODORUS. I shall not need their help, lady. (He draws his sword.) Now soldier: choose which weapon you will defend yourself with. Shall it be sword against pilum, or sword against sword?

APOLLODORUS. I won't need their help, lady. (He draws his sword.) Now, soldier: choose which weapon you'll defend yourself with. Will it be sword against pilum, or sword against sword?

SENTINEL. Roman against Sicilian, curse you. Take that. (He hurls his pilum at Apollodorus, who drops expertly on one knee. The pilum passes whizzing over his head and falls harmless. Apollodorus, with a cry of triumph, springs up and attacks the sentinel, who draws his sword and defends himself, crying) Ho there, guard. Help!

SENTINEL. Roman against Sicilian, damn you. Take that. (He throws his pilum at Apollodorus, who skillfully drops to one knee. The pilum zips over his head and lands harmlessly. Apollodorus, with a shout of victory, jumps up and charges at the sentinel, who pulls out his sword and defends himself, shouting) Hey, guard. Help!

Cleopatra, half frightened, half delighted, takes refuge near the palace, where the porters are squatting among the bales. The boatman, alarmed, hurries down the steps out of harm’s way, but stops, with his head just visible above the edge of the quay, to watch the fight. The sentinel is handicapped by his fear of an attack in the rear from Ftatateeta. His swordsmanship, which is of a rough and ready sort, is heavily taxed, as he has occasionally to strike at her to keep her off between a blow and a guard with Apollodorus. The Centurion returns with several soldiers. Apollodorus springs back towards Cleopatra as this reinforcement confronts him.

Cleopatra, half scared and half thrilled, takes refuge near the palace, where the porters are sitting among the bundles. The boatman, worried, hurries down the steps to get out of harm’s way but stops, his head just visible above the edge of the quay, to watch the fight. The guard is held back by his fear of an attack from behind by Ftatateeta. His swordplay, which is rough and basic, is put to the test as he occasionally has to strike at her to keep her at bay while blocking blows from Apollodorus. The Centurion comes back with several soldiers. Apollodorus jumps back toward Cleopatra as this reinforcement faces him.

CENTURION (coming to the sentinel’s right hand). What is this? What now?

CENTURION (coming to the sentinel’s right hand). What’s going on? What’s happening now?

SENTINEL (panting). I could do well enough for myself if it weren’t for the old woman. Keep her off me: that is all the help I need.

SENTINEL (panting). I could manage fine on my own if it weren't for the old woman. Just keep her away from me; that's all the help I need.

CENTURION. Make your report, soldier. What has happened?

CENTURION. Give me your report, soldier. What happened?

FTATATEETA. Centurion: he would have slain the Queen.

FTATATEETA. Centurion: he would have killed the Queen.

SENTINEL (bluntly). I would, sooner than let her pass. She wanted to take boat, and go—so she said—to the lighthouse. I stopped her, as I was ordered to; and she set this fellow on me. (He goes to pick up his pilum and returns to his place with it.)

SENTINEL (bluntly). I'd rather not let her go. She wanted to take a boat and go—to the lighthouse, she said. I stopped her, as I was told to; and she sent this guy after me. (He goes to pick up his pilum and returns to his place with it.)

CENTURION (turning to Cleopatra). Cleopatra: I am loth to offend you; but without Caesar’s express order we dare not let you pass beyond the Roman lines.

CENTURION (turning to Cleopatra). Cleopatra: I don't want to upset you, but without Caesar's direct order, we can't let you cross beyond the Roman lines.

APOLLODORUS. Well, Centurion; and has not the lighthouse been within the Roman lines since Caesar landed there?

APOLLODORUS. So, Centurion; hasn't the lighthouse been inside the Roman lines since Caesar landed there?

CLEOPATRA. Yes, yes. Answer that, if you can.

CLEOPATRA. Yeah, right. Answer that, if you can.

CENTURION (to Apollodorus). As for you, Apollodorus, you may thank the gods that you are not nailed to the palace door with a pilum for your meddling.

CENTURION (to Apollodorus). As for you, Apollodorus, you should be grateful to the gods that you’re not pinned to the palace door with a spear for your interference.

APOLLODORUS (urbanely). My military friend, I was not born to be slain by so ugly a weapon. When I fall, it will be (holding up his sword) by this white queen of arms, the only weapon fit for an artist. And now that you are convinced that we do not want to go beyond the lines, let me finish killing your sentinel and depart with the Queen.

APOLLODORUS (calmly). My military friend, I wasn’t meant to be taken down by such a hideous weapon. When I fall, it will be (holding up his sword) by this beautiful sword, the only weapon worthy of an artist. And now that you’re sure we don’t want to cross any lines, let me finish off your sentinel and leave with the Queen.

CENTURION (as the sentinel makes an angry demonstration). Peace there. Cleopatra. I must abide by my orders, and not by the subtleties of this Sicilian. You must withdraw into the palace and examine your carpets there.

CENTURION (as the sentinel makes an angry demonstration). Calm down. Cleopatra. I have to follow my orders, not the tricks of this Sicilian. You need to go back into the palace and check your carpets there.

CLEOPATRA (pouting). I will not: I am the Queen. Caesar does not speak to me as you do. Have Caesar’s centurions changed manners with his scullions?

CLEOPATRA (pouting). I won’t: I’m the Queen. Caesar doesn’t talk to me like you do. Have Caesar’s centurions swapped manners with his kitchen staff?

CENTURION (sulkily). I do my duty. That is enough for me.

CENTURION (sulking). I do my job. That's enough for me.

APOLLODORUS. Majesty: when a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

APOLLODORUS. Majesty: when an idiot is doing something he feels embarrassed about, he always claims that it’s his duty.

CENTURION (angry). Apollodorus——

CENTURION (angry). Apollodorus—

APOLLODORUS (interrupting him with defiant elegance). I will make amends for that insult with my sword at fitting time and place. Who says artist, says duelist. (To Cleopatra) Hear my counsel, star of the east. Until word comes to these soldiers from Caesar himself, you are a prisoner. Let me go to him with a message from you, and a present; and before the sun has stooped half way to the arms of the sea, I will bring you back Caesar’s order of release.

APOLLODORUS (interrupting him with confident grace). I'll make up for that insult with my sword when the time is right. Where there's an artist, there's a duelist. (To Cleopatra) Listen to my advice, star of the east. Until we hear directly from Caesar, you are a prisoner. Let me take a message and a gift from you to him; and before the sun has dipped halfway to the sea, I'll return with Caesar’s order for your release.

CENTURION (sneering at him). And you will sell the Queen the present, no doubt.

CENTURION (sneering at him). And you're going to sell the Queen the gift, right?

APOLLODORUS. Centurion: the Queen shall have from me, without payment, as the unforced tribute of Sicilian taste to Egyptian beauty, the richest of these carpets for her present to Caesar.

APOLLODORUS. Centurion: the Queen will receive from me, for free, as a generous gift of Sicilian taste to Egyptian beauty, the finest of these carpets for her gift to Caesar.

CLEOPATRA (exultantly, to the Centurion). Now you see what an ignorant common creature you are!

CLEOPATRA (exultantly, to the Centurion). Now you see how ignorant and ordinary you really are!

CENTURION (curtly). Well, a fool and his wares are soon parted. (He turns to his men) Two more men to this post here; and see that no one leaves the palace but this man and his merchandize. If he draws his sword again inside the lines, kill him. To your posts. March.

CENTURION (curtly). Well, a fool and his goods are easily separated. (He turns to his men) Add two more guards to this post; make sure nobody leaves the palace except for this man and his merchandise. If he draws his sword again inside the lines, kill him. To your posts. Move out.

He goes out, leaving two auxiliary sentinels with the other.

He goes out, leaving two backup guards with the other.

APOLLODORUS (with polite goodfellowship). My friends: will you not enter the palace and bury our quarrel in a bowl of wine? (He takes out his purse, jingling the coins in it.) The Queen has presents for you all.

APOLLODORUS (with friendly warmth). My friends: won’t you come into the palace and put our argument to rest over a drink? (He takes out his purse, jingling the coins inside.) The Queen has gifts for all of you.

SENTINEL (very sulky). You heard our orders. Get about your business.

SENTINEL (very sulky). You heard what we said. Get to work.

FIRST AUXILIARY. Yes: you ought to know better. Off with you.

FIRST AUXILIARY. Yeah, you should know better. Get out of here.

SECOND AUXILIARY (looking longingly at the purse—this sentinel is a hooknosed man, unlike his comrade, who is squab faced). Do not tantalize a poor man.

SECOND AUXILIARY (gazing longingly at the purse—this guard is a hooknosed man, unlike his partner, who has a squab face). Don't tease a poor man.

APOLLODORUS (to Cleopatra). Pearl of Queens: the Centurion is at hand; and the Roman soldier is incorruptible when his officer is looking. I must carry your word to Caesar.

APOLLODORUS (to Cleopatra). You’re the queen of pearls: the Centurion is here; and the Roman soldier is loyal when his officer is watching. I need to take your message to Caesar.

CLEOPATRA (who has been meditating among the carpets). Are these carpets very heavy?

CLEOPATRA (who has been thinking among the carpets). Are these carpets really heavy?

APOLLODORUS. It matters not how heavy. There are plenty of porters.

APOLLODORUS. It doesn't matter how heavy it is. There are plenty of porters.

CLEOPATRA. How do they put the carpets into boats? Do they throw them down?

CLEOPATRA. How do they get the carpets into boats? Do they just toss them in?

APOLLODORUS. Not into small boats, majesty. It would sink them.

APOLLODORUS. Not in small boats, your majesty. It would capsize them.

CLEOPATRA. Not into that man’s boat, for instance? (Pointing to the boatman.)

CLEOPATRA. Not into that guy's boat, for example? (Pointing to the boatman.)

APOLLODORUS. No. Too small.

No. Too small.

CLEOPATRA. But you can take a carpet to Caesar in it if I send one?

CLEOPATRA. But can you take a carpet to Caesar in it if I send one?

APOLLODORUS. Assuredly.

APOLLODORUS. Definitely.

CLEOPATRA. And you will have it carried gently down the steps and take great care of it?

CLEOPATRA. And you’ll have it carried carefully down the steps and treat it with great care?

APOLLODORUS. Depend on me.

Count on me.

CLEOPATRA. Great, great care?

CLEOPATRA. Seriously, seriously care?

APOLLODORUS. More than of my own body.

APOLLODORUS. More than just my own body.

CLEOPATRA. You will promise me not to let the porters drop it or throw it about?

CLEOPATRA. You promise me you won't let the porters drop it or toss it around?

APOLLODORUS. Place the most delicate glass goblet in the palace in the heart of the roll, Queen; and if it be broken, my head shall pay for it.

APOLLODORUS. Put the most delicate glass goblet in the palace in the middle of the roll, Queen; and if it breaks, my head will be the price for it.

CLEOPATRA. Good. Come, Ftatateeta. (Ftatateeta comes to her. Apollodorus offers to squire them into the palace.) No, Apollodorus, you must not come. I will choose a carpet for myself. You must wait here. (She runs into the palace.)

CLEOPATRA. Alright. Come on, Ftatateeta. (Ftatateeta approaches her. Apollodorus offers to escort them into the palace.) No, Apollodorus, you can't come. I want to pick a carpet for myself. You have to wait here. (She rushes into the palace.)

APOLLODORUS (to the porters). Follow this lady (indicating Ftatateeta); and obey her.

APOLLODORUS (to the porters). Follow this lady (indicating Ftatateeta); and listen to what she says.

The porters rise and take up their bales.

The porters get up and pick up their bundles.

FTATATEETA (addressing the porters as if they were vermin). This way. And take your shoes off before you put your feet on those stairs.

FTATATEETA (addressing the porters as if they were pests). This way. And take off your shoes before you put your feet on those stairs.

She goes in, followed by the porters with the carpets. Meanwhile Apollodorus goes to the edge of the quay and looks out over the harbor. The sentinels keep their eyes on him malignantly.

She walks in, followed by the porters carrying the carpets. Meanwhile, Apollodorus goes to the edge of the dock and gazes out over the harbor. The guards watch him with malicious intent.

APOLLODORUS (addressing the sentinel). My friend——

APOLLODORUS (addressing the guard). My friend——

SENTINEL (rudely). Silence there.

SENTINEL (rudely). Quiet down.

FIRST AUXILIARY. Shut your muzzle, you.

FIRST AUXILIARY. Close your mouth, you.

SECOND AUXILIARY (in a half whisper, glancing apprehensively towards the north end of the quay). Can’t you wait a bit?

SECOND AUXILIARY (in a half whisper, glancing nervously towards the north end of the quay). Can’t you hold on for a minute?

APOLLODORUS. Patience, worthy three-headed donkey. (They mutter ferociously; but he is not at all intimidated.) Listen: were you set here to watch me, or to watch the Egyptians?

APOLLODORUS. Patience, you noble three-headed donkey. (They grumble angrily; but he isn't bothered at all.) Listen: were you placed here to keep an eye on me, or to keep an eye on the Egyptians?

SENTINEL. We know our duty.

SENTINEL. We know our role.

APOLLODORUS. Then why don’t you do it? There’s something going on over there. (Pointing southwestward to the mole.)

APOLLODORUS. So why don’t you just do it? Something's happening over there. (Pointing southwestward to the mole.)

SENTINEL (sulkily). I do not need to be told what to do by the like of you.

SENTINEL (sulkily). I don't need you telling me what to do.

APOLLODORUS. Blockhead. (He begins shouting) Ho there, Centurion. Hoiho!

APOLLODORUS. Blockhead. (He starts shouting) Hey there, Centurion. Hey!

SENTINEL. Curse your meddling. (Shouting) Hoiho! Alarm! Alarm!

SENTINEL. Damn your interference. (Shouting) Hey! Alert! Alert!

FIRST AND SECOND AUXILIARIES. Alarm! alarm! Hoiho!

FIRST AND SECOND AUXILIARIES. Alert! Alert! Hoiho!

The Centurion comes running in with his guard.

The Centurion rushes in with his guards.

CENTURION. What now? Has the old woman attacked you again? (Seeing Apollodorus) Are you here still?

CENTURION. What’s going on? Has that old woman come after you again? (Seeing Apollodorus) Are you still here?

APOLLODORUS (pointing as before). See there. The Egyptians are moving. They are going to recapture the Pharos. They will attack by sea and land: by land along the great mole; by sea from the west harbor. Stir yourselves, my military friends: the hunt is up. (A clangor of trumpets from several points along the quay.) Aha! I told you so.

APOLLODORUS (pointing as before). Look over there. The Egyptians are on the move. They’re going to take back the Pharos. They’ll attack from the sea and the land: from the land via the great mole; from the sea coming in through the west harbor. Come on, my military friends: the hunt is on. (A loud sound of trumpets from various spots along the quay.) See! I told you so.

CENTURION (quickly). The two extra men pass the alarm to the south posts. One man keep guard here. The rest with me—quick.

CENTURION (quickly). The two extra guys pass the alarm to the southern posts. One guy stays guard here. The rest come with me—hurry.

The two auxiliary sentinels run off to the south. The Centurion and his guard run off northward; and immediately afterwards the bucina sounds. The four porters come from the palace carrying a carpet, followed by Ftatateeta.

The two extra guards head south. The Centurion and his squad move north, and right after that, the bucina horn blows. The four porters come out of the palace carrying a carpet, followed by Ftatateeta.

SENTINEL (handling his pilum apprehensively). You again! (The porters stop.)

SENTINEL (nervously gripping his spear). You again! (The porters stop.)

FTATATEETA. Peace, Roman fellow: you are now single-handed. Apollodorus: this carpet is Cleopatra’s present to Caesar. It has rolled up in it ten precious goblets of the thinnest Iberian crystal, and a hundred eggs of the sacred blue pigeon. On your honor, let not one of them be broken.

FTATATEETA. Chill out, Roman dude: you're on your own now. Apollodorus: this carpet is Cleopatra’s gift to Caesar. It has inside it ten valuable goblets made of the thinnest Iberian crystal, and a hundred eggs from the sacred blue pigeon. Seriously, don’t let even one of them break.

APOLLODORUS. On my head be it. (To the porters) Into the boat with them carefully.

APOLLODORUS. It's on me. (To the porters) Get them into the boat carefully.

The porters carry the carpet to the steps.

The porters take the carpet to the steps.

FIRST PORTER (looking down at the boat). Beware what you do, sir. Those eggs of which the lady speaks must weigh more than a pound apiece. This boat is too small for such a load.

FIRST PORTER (looking down at the boat). Be careful with what you're doing, sir. Those eggs the lady mentioned probably weigh more than a pound each. This boat is too small for that kind of weight.

BOATMAN (excitedly rushing up the steps). Oh thou injurious porter! Oh thou unnatural son of a she-camel! (To Apollodorus) My boat, sir, hath often carried five men. Shall it not carry your lordship and a bale of pigeons’ eggs? (To the porter) Thou mangey dromedary, the gods shall punish thee for this envious wickedness.

BOATMAN (excitedly rushing up the steps). Oh you harmful porter! Oh you unnatural son of a she-camel! (To Apollodorus) My boat, sir, has often carried five men. Will it not carry your lordship and a load of pigeons’ eggs? (To the porter) You mangy camel, the gods will punish you for this envious wickedness.

FIRST PORTER (stolidly). I cannot quit this bale now to beat thee; but another day I will lie in wait for thee.

FIRST PORTER (stolidly). I can’t leave this bundle to chase you right now; but another day, I’ll be ready for you.

APPOLODORUS (going between them). Peace there. If the boat were but a single plank, I would get to Caesar on it.

APPOLODORUS (walking between them). Hold on a sec. Even if the boat was just a single board, I’d still make it to Caesar on that.

FTATATEETA (anxiously). In the name of the gods, Apollodorus, run no risks with that bale.

FTATATEETA (anxiously). For the love of the gods, Apollodorus, don't take any chances with that bundle.

APOLLODORUS. Fear not, thou venerable grotesque: I guess its great worth. (To the porters) Down with it, I say; and gently; or ye shall eat nothing but stick for ten days.

APOLLODORUS. Don't worry, you respected figure: I recognize its great value. (To the porters) Lower it down, I say; and do it carefully; or you'll be eating nothing but sticks for ten days.

The boatman goes down the steps, followed by the porters with the bale: Ftatateeta and Apollodorus watching from the edge.

The boatman walks down the steps, followed by the porters carrying the bundle: Ftatateeta and Apollodorus are watching from the edge.

APOLLODORUS. Gently, my sons, my children—(with sudden alarm) gently, ye dogs. Lay it level in the stern—so—’tis well.

APOLLODORUS. Easy now, my sons, my children—(with sudden alarm) easy, you dogs. Set it flat in the back—there—we're good.

FTATATEETA (screaming down at one of the porters). Do not step on it, do not step on it. Oh thou brute beast!

FTATATEETA (screaming down at one of the porters). Don't step on it, don't step on it. Oh, you brutish animal!

FIRST PORTER (ascending). Be not excited, mistress: all is well.

FIRST PORTER (ascending). Don’t worry, ma’am: everything is fine.

FTATATEETA (panting). All well! Oh, thou hast given my heart a turn! (She clutches her side, gasping.)

FTATATEETA (panting). All good! Oh, you really startled me! (She clutches her side, gasping.)

The four porters have now come up and are waiting at the stairhead to be paid.

The four porters have arrived and are waiting at the top of the stairs to get paid.

APOLLODORUS. Here, ye hungry ones. (He gives money to the first porter, who holds it in his hand to shew to the others. They crowd greedily to see how much it is, quite prepared, after the Eastern fashion, to protest to heaven against their patron’s stinginess. But his liberality overpowers them.)

APOLLODORUS. Here, you hungry ones. (He gives money to the first porter, who holds it up to show the others. They crowd around eagerly to see how much it is, ready, in typical Eastern fashion, to complain to the heavens about their patron’s stinginess. But his generosity overwhelms them.)

FIRST PORTER. O bounteous prince!

FIRST PORTER. Oh generous prince!

SECOND PORTER. O lord of the bazaar!

SECOND PORTER. Oh lord of the marketplace!

THIRD PORTER. O favored of the gods!

THIRD PORTER. Oh, blessed by the gods!

FOURTH PORTER. O father to all the porters of the market!

FOURTH PORTER. Oh, father of all the market porters!

SENTINEL (enviously, threatening them fiercely with his pilum). Hence, dogs: off. Out of this. (They fly before him northward along the quay.)

SENTINEL (with envy, fiercely threatening them with his spear). So, dogs: get lost. Out of here. (They run away from him, heading north along the dock.)

APOLLODORUS. Farewell, Ftatateeta. I shall be at the lighthouse before the Egyptians. (He descends the steps.)

APOLLODORUS. Goodbye, Ftatateeta. I'll be at the lighthouse before the Egyptians. (He goes down the steps.)

FTATATEETA. The gods speed thee and protect my nursling!

FTATATEETA. May the gods grant you safe passage and watch over my little one!

The sentry returns from chasing the porters and looks down at the boat, standing near the stairhead lest Ftatateeta should attempt to escape.

The guard comes back from chasing the porters and looks down at the boat, standing near the stairs so that Ftatateeta won't try to escape.

APOLLODORUS (from beneath, as the boat moves off). Farewell, valiant pilum pitcher.

APOLLODORUS (from beneath, as the boat moves off). Goodbye, brave pilum pitcher.

SENTINEL. Farewell shopkeeper.

SENTINEL. Goodbye, shopkeeper.

APOLLODORUS. Ha, ha! Pull, thou brave boatman, pull. Soho-o-o-o-o! (He begins to sing in barcarolle measure to the rhythm of the oars)

APOLLODORUS. Ha, ha! Come on, you brave boatman, row! Soho-o-o-o-o! (He starts to sing in a boatman's style to the rhythm of the oars)

My heart, my heart, spread out thy wings:
Shake off thy heavy load of love—

Give me the oars, O son of a snail.

Give me the oars, oh son of a snail.

SENTINEL (threatening Ftatateeta). Now mistress: back to your henhouse. In with you.

SENTINEL (threatening Ftatateeta). Alright, ma'am: go back to your henhouse. Get in there.

FTATATEETA (falling on her knees and stretching her hands over the waters). Gods of the seas, bear her safely to the shore!

FTATATEETA (falling to her knees and stretching her hands over the waters). Gods of the seas, please bring her safely to the shore!

SENTINEL. Bear who safely? What do you mean?

SENTINEL. Who are you keeping safe? What do you mean?

FTATATEETA (looking darkly at him). Gods of Egypt and of Vengeance, let this Roman fool be beaten like a dog by his captain for suffering her to be taken over the waters.

FTATATEETA (looking darkly at him). Gods of Egypt and Vengeance, make this Roman idiot get treated like a dog by his captain for letting her be taken across the waters.

SENTINEL. Accursed one: is she then in the boat? (He calls over the sea) Hoiho, there, boatman! Hoiho!

SENTINEL. Cursed one: is she really in the boat? (He calls across the sea) Hey, you there, boatman! Hey!

APOLLODORUS (singing in the distance).

APOLLODORUS (singing nearby).

My heart, my heart, be whole and free:
Love is thine only enemy.

Meanwhile Rufio, the morning’s fighting done, sits munching dates on a faggot of brushwood outside the door of the lighthouse, which towers gigantic to the clouds on his left. His helmet, full of dates, is between his knees; and a leathern bottle of wine is by his side. Behind him the great stone pedestal of the lighthouse is shut in from the open sea by a low stone parapet, with a couple of steps in the middle to the broad coping. A huge chain with a hook hangs down from the lighthouse crane above his head. Faggots like the one he sits on lie beneath it ready to be drawn up to feed the beacon.

Meanwhile, Rufio, having finished fighting for the morning, sits snacking on dates on a bundle of brushwood outside the lighthouse, which looms large into the clouds to his left. His helmet, filled with dates, rests between his knees, and a leather wine bottle is next to him. Behind him, the massive stone base of the lighthouse is enclosed from the open sea by a low stone wall, with a couple of steps in the middle leading up to the wide top. A huge chain with a hook hangs down from the lighthouse crane above his head. Bundles like the one he's sitting on lie underneath it, ready to be pulled up to fuel the beacon.

Caesar is standing on the step at the parapet looking out anxiously, evidently ill at ease. Britannus comes out of the lighthouse door.

Caesar is standing on the step at the parapet, looking out nervously, clearly uncomfortable. Britannus comes out of the lighthouse door.

RUFIO. Well, my British islander. Have you been up to the top?

RUFIO. So, my British islander. Have you made it to the top?

BRITANNUS. I have. I reckon it at 200 feet high.

BRITANNUS. I have. I estimate it to be 200 feet tall.

RUFIO. Anybody up there?

RUFIO. Is anyone up there?

BRITANNUS. One elderly Tyrian to work the crane; and his son, a well conducted youth of 14.

BRITANNUS. An old Tyrian to operate the crane; and his son, a well-behaved 14-year-old.

RUFIO (looking at the chain). What! An old man and a boy work that! Twenty men, you mean.

RUFIO (looking at the chain). What! An old man and a boy can handle that? You must mean twenty men.

BRITANNUS. Two only, I assure you. They have counterweights, and a machine with boiling water in it which I do not understand: it is not of British design. They use it to haul up barrels of oil and faggots to burn in the brazier on the roof.

BRITANNUS. Just two, I promise you. They have counterweights and a machine with boiling water that I don’t understand; it's not designed in Britain. They use it to lift barrels of oil and sticks to burn in the brazier on the roof.

RUFIO. But——

RUFIO. But—

BRITANNUS. Excuse me: I came down because there are messengers coming along the mole to us from the island. I must see what their business is. (He hurries out past the lighthouse.)

BRITANNUS. Sorry: I came down because there are messengers coming along the pier from the island. I need to find out what they want. (He hurries out past the lighthouse.)

CAESAR (coming away from the parapet, shivering and out of sorts). Rufio: this has been a mad expedition. We shall be beaten. I wish I knew how our men are getting on with that barricade across the great mole.

CAESAR (walking away from the parapet, shivering and feeling unwell). Rufio: this has been a crazy mission. We’re going to lose. I wish I knew how our guys are doing with that barricade across the big mole.

RUFIO (angrily). Must I leave my food and go starving to bring you a report?

RUFIO (angrily). Do I have to leave my food and go hungry just to give you a report?

CAESAR (soothing him nervously). No, Rufio, no. Eat, my son. Eat. (He takes another turn, Rufio chewing dates meanwhile.) The Egyptians cannot be such fools as not to storm the barricade and swoop down on us here before it is finished. It is the first time I have ever run an avoidable risk. I should not have come to Egypt.

CAESAR (trying to calm him down). No, Rufio, no. Eat, my son. Eat. (He walks around again, while Rufio chews on dates.) The Egyptians can't be so foolish as to not attack the barricade and come at us here before it's done. This is the first time I've taken an unnecessary risk. I shouldn't have come to Egypt.

RUFIO. An hour ago you were all for victory.

RUFIO. An hour ago, you were all about winning.

CAESAR (apologetically). Yes: I was a fool—rash, Rufio—boyish.

CAESAR (apologetically). Yeah: I was a fool—reckless, Rufio—immature.

RUFIO. Boyish! Not a bit of it. Here. (Offering him a handful of dates.)

RUFIO. Boyish! Not at all. Here. (Handing him a handful of dates.)

CAESAR. What are these for?

CAESAR. What are these for?

RUFIO. To eat. That’s what’s the matter with you. When a man comes to your age, he runs down before his midday meal. Eat and drink; and then have another look at our chances.

RUFIO. It's about eating. That's what's wrong with you. When a guy gets to your age, he starts to fade before lunch. Eat and drink; then take another look at our chances.

CAESAR (taking the dates). My age! (He shakes his head and bites a date.) Yes, Rufio: I am an old man—worn out now—true, quite true. (He gives way to melancholy contemplation, and eats another date.) Achillas is still in his prime: Ptolemy is a boy. (He eats another date, and plucks up a little.) Well, every dog has his day; and I have had mine: I cannot complain. (With sudden cheerfulness) These dates are not bad, Rufio. (Britannus returns, greatly excited, with a leathern bag. Caesar is himself again in a moment.) What now?

CAESAR (taking the dates). My age! (He shakes his head and bites a date.) Yes, Rufio: I’m an old man—worn out now—true, very true. (He sinks into a gloomy contemplation and eats another date.) Achillas is still in his prime: Ptolemy is just a kid. (He eats another date and perks up a bit.) Well, every dog has its day; and I’ve had mine: I can’t complain. (With sudden cheerfulness) These dates are pretty good, Rufio. (Britannus returns, very excited, with a leather bag. Caesar is back to himself in an instant.) What now?

BRITANNUS (triumphantly). Our brave Rhodian mariners have captured a treasure. There! (He throws the bag down at Caesar’s feet.) Our enemies are delivered into our hands.

BRITANNUS (triumphantly). Our fearless Rhodian sailors have captured a treasure. Look! (He throws the bag down at Caesar’s feet.) Our enemies are in our grasp.

CAESAR. In that bag?

CAESAR. In that bag?

BRITANNUS. Wait till you hear, Caesar. This bag contains all the letters which have passed between Pompey’s party and the army of occupation here.

BRITANNUS. Just wait until you hear this, Caesar. This bag has all the letters that have been exchanged between Pompey's group and the occupying army here.

CAESAR. Well?

CAESAR. What’s up?

BRITANNUS (impatient of Caesar’s slowness to grasp the situation). Well, we shall now know who your foes are. The name of every man who has plotted against you since you crossed the Rubicon may be in these papers, for all we know.

BRITANNUS (frustrated with Caesar’s delay in understanding the situation). Well, we’ll find out who your enemies are now. The name of every person who has conspired against you since you crossed the Rubicon could be in these papers, for all we know.

CAESAR. Put them in the fire.

CAESAR. Throw them in the fire.

BRITANNUS. Put them—(he gasps)!!!!

BRITANNUS. Put them—(he gasps)!!!!

CAESAR. In the fire. Would you have me waste the next three years of my life in proscribing and condemning men who will be my friends when I have proved that my friendship is worth more than Pompey’s was—than Cato’s is. O incorrigible British islander: am I a bull dog, to seek quarrels merely to shew how stubborn my jaws are?

CAESAR. In the fire. Do you want me to waste the next three years of my life blaming and condemning people who will be my friends once I show that my friendship is worth more than Pompey’s was — more than Cato’s is? O unchangeable British islander: am I a bulldog, just looking for fights to prove how stubborn I can be?

BRITANNUS. But your honor—the honor of Rome——

BRITANNUS. But your honor—the honor of Rome—

CAESAR. I do not make human sacrifices to my honor, as your Druids do. Since you will not burn these, at least I can drown them. (He picks up the bag and throws it over the parapet into the sea.)

CAESAR. I don't make human sacrifices for my honor like your Druids do. Since you won't burn these, at least I can drown them. (He picks up the bag and throws it over the parapet into the sea.)

BRITANNUS. Caesar: this is mere eccentricity. Are traitors to be allowed to go free for the sake of a paradox?

BRITANNUS. Caesar: this is just being unconventional. Should traitors be set free just to make a point?

RUFIO (rising). Caesar: when the islander has finished preaching, call me again. I am going to have a look at the boiling water machine. (He goes into the lighthouse.)

RUFIO (rising). Caesar: once the islander is done with the sermon, let me know. I'm going to check out the boiling water machine. (He goes into the lighthouse.)

BRITANNUS (with genuine feeling). O Caesar, my great master, if I could but persuade you to regard life seriously, as men do in my country!

BRITANNUS (with genuine feeling). O Caesar, my great master, if only I could get you to take life seriously, like people do in my country!

CAESAR. Do they truly do so, Britannus?

CAESAR. Do they really do that, Britannus?

BRITANNUS. Have you not been there? Have you not seen them? What Briton speaks as you do in your moments of levity? What Briton neglects to attend the services at the sacred grove? What Briton wears clothes of many colors as you do, instead of plain blue, as all solid, well esteemed men should? These are moral questions with us.

BRITANNUS. Haven't you been there? Haven't you seen them? Which Briton talks like you do when they're being lighthearted? Which Briton skips the services at the holy grove? Which Briton wears colorful clothes like you do, instead of plain blue, like all reputable men should? These are serious issues for us.

CAESAR. Well, well, my friend: some day I shall settle down and have a blue toga, perhaps. Meanwhile, I must get on as best I can in my flippant Roman way. (Apollodorus comes past the lighthouse.) What now?

CAESAR. Alright, my friend: one day I’ll settle down and maybe wear a blue toga. For now, I just have to manage in my usual carefree Roman style. (Apollodorus comes past the lighthouse.) What’s happening now?

BRITANNUS (turning quickly, and challenging the stranger with official haughtiness). What is this? Who are you? How did you come here?

BRITANNUS (turning quickly, and challenging the stranger with official haughtiness). What’s this? Who are you? How did you get here?

APOLLODORUS. Calm yourself, my friend: I am not going to eat you. I have come by boat, from Alexandria, with precious gifts for Caesar.

APOLLODORUS. Relax, my friend: I'm not going to harm you. I arrived by boat from Alexandria, bringing valuable gifts for Caesar.

CAESAR. From Alexandria!

CAESAR. From Alexandria!

BRITANNUS (severely). That is Caesar, sir.

BRITANNUS (seriously). That's Caesar, sir.

RUFIO (appearing at the lighthouse door). What’s the matter now?

RUFIO (standing at the lighthouse door). What’s going on now?

APOLLODORUS. Hail, great Caesar! I am Apollodorus the Sicilian, an artist.

APOLLODORUS. Hello, great Caesar! I’m Apollodorus from Sicily, an artist.

BRITANNUS. An artist! Why have they admitted this vagabond?

BRITANNUS. An artist! Why did they let this drifter in?

CAESAR. Peace, man. Apollodorus is a famous patrician amateur.

CAESAR. Chill, dude. Apollodorus is a well-known patrician enthusiast.

BRITANNUS (disconcerted). I crave the gentleman’s pardon. (To Caesar) I understood him to say that he was a professional. (Somewhat out of countenance, he allows Apollodorus to approach Caesar, changing places with him. Rufio, after looking Apollodorus up and down with marked disparagement, goes to the other side of the platform.)

BRITANNUS (unsettled). I ask for the gentleman’s forgiveness. (To Caesar) I thought he mentioned that he was a professional. (A bit flustered, he lets Apollodorus move closer to Caesar, swapping places with him. Rufio, after giving Apollodorus a judgmental look, goes to the other side of the platform.)

CAESAR. You are welcome, Apollodorus. What is your business?

CAESAR. Welcome, Apollodorus. What do you need?

APOLLODORUS. First, to deliver to you a present from the Queen of Queens.

APOLLODORUS. First, I want to give you a gift from the Queen of Queens.

CAESAR. Who is that?

CAESAR. Who’s that?

APOLLODORUS. Cleopatra of Egypt.

Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt.

CAESAR (taking him into his confidence in his most winning manner). Apollodorus: this is no time for playing with presents. Pray you, go back to the Queen, and tell her that if all goes well I shall return to the palace this evening.

CAESAR (confiding in him with charm). Apollodorus: this isn't the time for gift-giving. Please go back to the Queen and let her know that if everything goes smoothly, I’ll be back at the palace this evening.

APOLLODORUS. Caesar: I cannot return. As I approached the lighthouse, some fool threw a great leathern bag into the sea. It broke the nose of my boat; and I had hardly time to get myself and my charge to the shore before the poor little cockleshell sank.

APOLLODORUS. Caesar: I can’t go back. As I got close to the lighthouse, some idiot tossed a big leather bag into the water. It damaged the front of my boat, and I barely had enough time to get myself and my passenger to the shore before the poor little boat sank.

CAESAR. I am sorry, Apollodorus. The fool shall be rebuked. Well, well: what have you brought me? The Queen will be hurt if I do not look at it.

CAESAR. I’m sorry, Apollodorus. The idiot will be scolded. Alright, what do you have for me? The Queen will be upset if I don’t check it out.

RUFIO. Have we time to waste on this trumpery? The Queen is only a child.

RUFIO. Do we have time to waste on this nonsense? The Queen is just a child.

CAESAR. Just so: that is why we must not disappoint her. What is the present, Apollodorus?

CAESAR. Exactly: that’s why we can’t let her down. What’s the situation, Apollodorus?

APOLLODORUS. Caesar: it is a Persian carpet—a beauty! And in it are—so I am told—pigeons’ eggs and crystal goblets and fragile precious things. I dare not for my head have it carried up that narrow ladder from the causeway.

APOLLODORUS. Caesar: it’s a Persian carpet—a real beauty! And supposedly, it has—so I'm told—pigeons’ eggs and crystal goblets and delicate precious items. I wouldn’t dare have it brought up that narrow ladder from the causeway for my life.

RUFIO. Swing it up by the crane, then. We will send the eggs to the cook; drink our wine from the goblets; and the carpet will make a bed for Caesar.

RUFIO. Lift it up with the crane, then. We'll send the eggs to the chef; drink our wine from the goblets; and the carpet will serve as a bed for Caesar.

APOLLODORUS. The crane! Caesar: I have sworn to tender this bale of carpet as I tender my own life.

APOLLODORUS. The crane! Caesar: I have sworn to take care of this load of carpet as I would my own life.

CAESAR (cheerfully). Then let them swing you up at the same time; and if the chain breaks, you and the pigeons’ eggs will perish together. (He goes to the chain and looks up along it, examining it curiously.)

CAESAR (cheerfully). Then let them lift you up at the same time; and if the chain snaps, you and the pigeons' eggs will be done for together. (He goes to the chain and looks up along it, examining it curiously.)

APOLLODORUS (to Britannus). Is Caesar serious?

APOLLODORUS (to Britannus). Is Caesar for real?

BRITANNUS. His manner is frivolous because he is an Italian; but he means what he says.

BRITANNUS. His behavior seems silly because he's Italian, but he genuinely means what he's saying.

APOLLODORUS. Serious or not, he spake well. Give me a squad of soldiers to work the crane.

APOLLODORUS. Whether he's serious or not, he spoke well. Get me a team of soldiers to operate the crane.

BRITANNUS. Leave the crane to me. Go and await the descent of the chain.

BRITANNUS. Leave the crane to me. Go wait for the chain to come down.

APOLLODORUS. Good. You will presently see me there (turning to them all and pointing with an eloquent gesture to the sky above the parapet) rising like the sun with my treasure.

APOLLODORUS. Good. You’ll soon see me there (turning to them all and pointing with an expressive gesture to the sky above the parapet) rising like the sun with my treasure.

He goes back the way he came. Britannus goes into the lighthouse.

He retraces his steps. Britannus enters the lighthouse.

RUFIO (ill-humoredly). Are you really going to wait here for this foolery, Caesar?

RUFIO (grumpily). Are you really going to stick around for this nonsense, Caesar?

CAESAR (backing away from the crane as it gives signs of working). Why not?

CAESAR (backing away from the crane as it starts to operate). Why not?

RUFIO. The Egyptians will let you know why not if they have the sense to make a rush from the shore end of the mole before our barricade is finished. And here we are waiting like children to see a carpet full of pigeons’ eggs.

RUFIO. The Egyptians will explain why not if they’re smart enough to charge from the end of the dock before we finish our barricade. And here we are waiting like kids to see a rug full of pigeon eggs.

The chain rattles, and is drawn up high enough to clear the parapet. It then swings round out of sight behind the lighthouse.

The chain rattles and is lifted high enough to clear the wall. It then swings out of view behind the lighthouse.

CAESAR. Fear not, my son Rufio. When the first Egyptian takes his first step along the mole, the alarm will sound; and we two will reach the barricade from our end before the Egyptians reach it from their end—we two, Rufio: I, the old man, and you, his biggest boy. And the old man will be there first. So peace; and give me some more dates.

CAESAR. Don’t worry, my son Rufio. When the first Egyptian steps onto the mole, the alarm will go off; and we’ll get to the barricade from our side before the Egyptians get there from theirs—we’ll be there together, Rufio: me, the old man, and you, my eldest son. And the old man will arrive first. So relax, and pass me some more dates.

APOLLODORUS (from the causeway below). Soho, haul away. So-ho-o-o-o! (The chain is drawn up and comes round again from behind the lighthouse. Apollodorus is swinging in the air with his bale of carpet at the end of it. He breaks into song as he soars above the parapet.)

APOLLODORUS (from the causeway below). Hey, let's go. So-ho-o-o-o! (The chain is pulled up and comes back around from behind the lighthouse. Apollodorus is swinging in the air with his load of carpet at the end of it. He starts singing as he rises above the parapet.)

Aloft, aloft, behold the blue
That never shone in woman’s eyes—

Easy there: stop her. (He ceases to rise.) Further round! (The chain comes forward above the platform.)

Easy there: stop her. (He stops rising.) Keep going around! (The chain moves forward above the platform.)

RUFIO (calling up). Lower away there. (The chain and its load begin to descend.)

RUFIO (calling up). Lower it down there. (The chain and its load start to come down.)

APOLLODORUS (calling up). Gently—slowly—mind the eggs.

APOLLODORUS (calling up). Carefully—slowly—watch the eggs.

RUFIO (calling up). Easy there—slowly—slowly.

RUFIO (calling up). Easy does it—slow down.

Apollodorus and the bale are deposited safely on the flags in the middle of the platform. Rufio and Caesar help Apollodorus to cast off the chain from the bale.

Apollodorus and the bale are placed carefully on the flags in the center of the platform. Rufio and Caesar assist Apollodorus in removing the chain from the bale.

RUFIO. Haul up.

RUFIO. Pull up.

The chain rises clear of their heads with a rattle. Britannus comes from the lighthouse and helps them to uncord the carpet.

The chain lifts above their heads with a clatter. Britannus comes from the lighthouse and helps them to unroll the carpet.

APOLLODORUS (when the cords are loose). Stand off, my friends: let Caesar see. (He throws the carpet open.)

APOLLODORUS (when the cords are loose). Step back, everyone: let Caesar see. (He throws the carpet open.)

RUFIO. Nothing but a heap of shawls. Where are the pigeons’ eggs?

RUFIO. Just a pile of shawls. Where are the pigeons' eggs?

APOLLODORUS. Approach, Caesar; and search for them among the shawls.

APOLLODORUS. Come here, Caesar; and look for them among the shawls.

RUFIO (drawing his sword). Ha, treachery! Keep back, Caesar: I saw the shawl move: there is something alive there.

RUFIO (drawing his sword). Ha, betrayal! Step back, Caesar: I saw the shawl move; there’s something alive under it.

BRITANNUS (drawing his sword). It is a serpent.

BRITANNUS (drawing his sword). It's a snake.

APOLLODORUS. Dares Caesar thrust his hand into the sack where the serpent moves?

APOLLODORUS. Does Dares Caesar really dare to reach into the sack where the serpent is moving?

RUFIO (turning on him). Treacherous dog——

RUFIO (turning on him). You treacherous dog—

CAESAR. Peace. Put up your swords. Apollodorus: your serpent seems to breathe very regularly. (He thrusts his hand under the shawls and draws out a bare arm.) This is a pretty little snake.

CAESAR. Peace. Put away your swords. Apollodorus: your snake looks like it’s breathing just fine. (He reaches under the shawls and pulls out a bare arm.) This is a nice little snake.

RUFIO (drawing out the other arm). Let us have the rest of you.

RUFIO (pulling out the other arm). Let's see the rest of you.

They pull Cleopatra up by the wrists into a sitting position. Britannus, scandalized, sheathes his sword with a drive of protest.

They tug Cleopatra up by her wrists into a sitting position. Britannus, shocked, sheaths his sword in a fit of protest.

CLEOPATRA (gasping). Oh, I’m smothered. Oh, Caesar; a man stood on me in the boat; and a great sack of something fell upon me out of the sky; and then the boat sank, and then I was swung up into the air and bumped down.

CLEOPATRA (gasping). Oh, I can't breathe. Oh, Caesar; a man stood on me in the boat; and a huge sack of something fell on me from the sky; and then the boat sank, and I was lifted into the air and dropped down.

CAESAR (petting her as she rises and takes refuge on his breast). Well, never mind: here you are safe and sound at last.

CAESAR (gently stroking her as she stands and finds comfort in his embrace). Well, don't worry: you're finally safe and sound here.

RUFIO. Ay; and now that she is here, what are we to do with her?

RUFIO. Yeah, and now that she's here, what are we going to do with her?

BRITANNUS. She cannot stay here, Caesar, without the companionship of some matron.

BRITANNUS. She can’t stay here, Caesar, without the company of some woman.

CLEOPATRA (jealously, to Caesar, who is obviously perplexed). Aren’t you glad to see me?

CLEOPATRA (jealously, to Caesar, who looks clearly confused). Aren’t you happy to see me?

CAESAR. Yes, yes; I am very glad. But Rufio is very angry; and Britannus is shocked.

CAESAR. Yeah, yeah; I am really glad. But Rufio is really mad; and Britannus is appalled.

CLEOPATRA (contemptuously). You can have their heads cut off, can you not?

CLEOPATRA (contemptuously). You can have them beheaded, can't you?

CAESAR. They would not be so useful with their heads cut off as they are now, my sea bird.

CAESAR. They wouldn't be as useful without their heads as they are now, my sea bird.

RUFIO (to Cleopatra). We shall have to go away presently and cut some of your Egyptians’ heads off. How will you like being left here with the chance of being captured by that little brother of yours if we are beaten?

RUFIO (to Cleopatra). We’ll need to leave soon and take care of some of your Egyptians. How do you feel about being left here with the risk of being captured by your little brother if we lose?

CLEOPATRA. But you mustn’t leave me alone. Caesar you will not leave me alone, will you?

CLEOPATRA. But you can’t leave me alone. Caesar, you won’t leave me alone, will you?

RUFIO. What! Not when the trumpet sounds and all our lives depend on Caesar’s being at the barricade before the Egyptians reach it? Eh?

RUFIO. What! Not when the trumpet blows and all our lives rely on Caesar being at the barricade before the Egyptians get there? Huh?

CLEOPATRA. Let them lose their lives: they are only soldiers.

CLEOPATRA. Let them die; they’re just soldiers.

CAESAR (gravely). Cleopatra: when that trumpet sounds, we must take every man his life in his hand, and throw it in the face of Death. And of my soldiers who have trusted me there is not one whose hand I shall not hold more sacred than your head. (Cleopatra is overwhelmed. Her eyes fill with tears.) Apollodorus: you must take her back to the palace.

CAESAR (seriously). Cleopatra: when that trumpet sounds, we need to risk our lives and face Death head-on. And for my soldiers who have put their trust in me, there isn’t one whose life I value less than yours. (Cleopatra is overcome. Her eyes fill with tears.) Apollodorus: you have to take her back to the palace.

APOLLODORUS. Am I a dolphin, Caesar, to cross the seas with young ladies on my back? My boat is sunk: all yours are either at the barricade or have returned to the city. I will hail one if I can: that is all I can do. (He goes back to the causeway.)

APOLLODORUS. Am I a dolphin, Caesar, to carry young ladies across the sea on my back? My boat is sunk: all of yours are either at the barricade or have gone back to the city. I’ll try to get one if I can: that’s all I can do. (He goes back to the causeway.)

CLEOPATRA (struggling with her tears). It does not matter. I will not go back. Nobody cares for me.

CLEOPATRA (struggling with her tears). It doesn’t matter. I’m not going back. Nobody cares about me.

CAESAR. Cleopatra——

CAESAR. Cleopatra—

CLEOPATRA. You want me to be killed.

CLEOPATRA. You want me to die.

CAESAR (still more gravely). My poor child: your life matters little here to anyone but yourself. (She gives way altogether at this, casting herself down on the faggots weeping. Suddenly a great tumult is heard in the distance, bucinas and trumpets sounding through a storm of shouting. Britannus rushes to the parapet and looks along the mole. Caesar and Rufio turn to one another with quick intelligence.)

CAESAR (still more seriously). My poor child: your life means very little to anyone here except for you. (She completely breaks down at this, throwing herself onto the wood and crying. Suddenly, there's a loud commotion in the distance, with horns and trumpets blaring through a storm of shouting. Britannus rushes to the edge and looks along the pier. Caesar and Rufio exchange glances with quick understanding.)

CAESAR. Come, Rufio.

CAESAR. Let's go, Rufio.

CLEOPATRA (scrambling to her knees and clinging to him). No, no. Do not leave me, Caesar. (He snatches his skirt from her clutch.) Oh!

CLEOPATRA (scrambling to her knees and clinging to him). No, please. Don’t leave me, Caesar. (He snatches his skirt from her grip.) Oh!

BRITANNUS (from the parapet). Caesar: we are cut off. The Egyptians have landed from the west harbor between us and the barricade!!!

BRITANNUS (from the parapet). Caesar: we're cut off. The Egyptians have landed from the west harbor, and they're between us and the barricade!!!

RUFIO (running to see). Curses! It is true. We are caught like rats in a trap.

RUFIO (running to see). Damn! It's true. We're caught like rats in a trap.

CAESAR (ruthfully). Rufio, Rufio: my men at the barricade are between the sea party and the shore party. I have murdered them.

CAESAR (sadly). Rufio, Rufio: my men at the barricade are caught between the sea party and the shore party. I have betrayed them.

RUFIO (coming back from the parapet to Caesar’s right hand). Ay: that comes of fooling with this girl here.

RUFIO (coming back from the parapet to Caesar’s right hand). Yeah: that’s what you get for messing around with this girl here.

APOLLODORUS (coming up quickly from the causeway). Look over the parapet, Caesar.

APOLLODORUS (hurrying up from the walkway). Check over the railing, Caesar.

CAESAR. We have looked, my friend. We must defend ourselves here.

CAESAR. We’ve checked it out, my friend. We need to protect ourselves here.

APOLLODORUS. I have thrown the ladder into the sea. They cannot get in without it.

APOLLODORUS. I've tossed the ladder into the sea. They can't get in without it.

RUFIO. Ay; and we cannot get out. Have you thought of that?

RUFIO. Yeah; and we can't get out. Have you considered that?

APOLLODORUS. Not get out! Why not? You have ships in the east harbor.

APOLLODORUS. Don't leave! Why not? You have boats in the east harbor.

BRITANNUS (hopefully, at the parapet). The Rhodian galleys are standing in towards us already. (Caesar quickly joins Britannus at the parapet.)

BRITANNUS (hopefully, at the parapet). The Rhodian ships are approaching us already. (Caesar quickly joins Britannus at the parapet.)

RUFIO (to Apollodorus, impatiently). And by what road are we to walk to the galleys, pray?

RUFIO (to Apollodorus, impatiently). And which way are we supposed to go to the galleys, exactly?

APOLLODORUS (with gay, defiant rhetoric). By the road that leads everywhere—the diamond path of the sun and moon. Have you never seen the child’s shadow play of The Broken Bridge? “Ducks and geese with ease get over”—eh? (He throws away his cloak and cap, and binds his sword on his back.)

APOLLODORUS (with vibrant, bold words). By the road that goes everywhere—the shining path of the sun and moon. Have you ever watched the child’s shadow performance of The Broken Bridge? “Ducks and geese easily cross”—right? (He tosses aside his cloak and cap, and straps his sword to his back.)

RUFIO. What are you talking about?

RUFIO. What are you talking about?

APOLLODORUS. I will shew you. (Calling to Britannus) How far off is the nearest galley?

APOLLODORUS. I'll show you. (Calling to Britannus) How far away is the nearest ship?

BRITANNUS. Fifty fathom.

BRITANNUS. Fifty fathoms.

CAESAR. No, no: they are further off than they seem in this clear air to your British eyes. Nearly quarter of a mile, Apollodorus.

CAESAR. No, no: they are farther away than they look in this clear air to your British eyes. Almost a quarter of a mile, Apollodorus.

APOLLODORUS. Good. Defend yourselves here until I send you a boat from that galley.

APOLLODORUS. All right. Hold your ground here until I send you a boat from that ship.

RUFIO. Have you wings, perhaps?

RUFIO. Do you have wings?

APOLLODORUS. Water wings, soldier. Behold!

APOLLODORUS. Floaties, soldier. Look!

He runs up the steps between Caesar and Britannus to the coping of the parapet; springs into the air; and plunges head foremost into the sea.

He rushes up the steps between Caesar and Britannus to the edge of the parapet; leaps into the air; and dives headfirst into the sea.

CAESAR (like a schoolboy—wildly excited). Bravo, bravo! (Throwing off his cloak) By Jupiter, I will do that too.

CAESAR (like a schoolboy—wildly excited). Awesome, awesome! (Throwing off his cloak) By Jupiter, I’ll do that too.

RUFIO (seizing him). You are mad. You shall not.

RUFIO (grabbing him). You're crazy. You can't.

CAESAR. Why not? Can I not swim as well as he?

CAESAR. Why not? Can’t I swim just as well as he can?

RUFIO (frantic). Can an old fool dive and swim like a young one? He is twenty-five and you are fifty.

RUFIO (frantic). Can an old fool dive and swim like a young one? He’s twenty-five, and you’re fifty.

CAESAR (breaking loose from Rufio). Old!!!

CAESAR (breaking free from Rufio). Old!!!

BRITANNUS (shocked). Rufio: you forget yourself.

BRITANNUS (shocked). Rufio: you're losing your perspective.

CAESAR. I will race you to the galley for a week’s pay, father Rufio.

CAESAR. I'll race you to the galley for a week's pay, Father Rufio.

CLEOPATRA. But me! me!! me!!! What is to become of me?

CLEOPATRA. But me! me!! me!!! What’s going to happen to <

CAESAR. I will carry you on my back to the galley like a dolphin. Rufio: when you see me rise to the surface, throw her in: I will answer for her. And then in with you after her, both of you.

CAESAR. I'll carry you on my back to the ship like a dolphin. Rufio: when you see me surface, toss her in: I'll take responsibility for her. Then you jump in after her, both of you.

CLEOPATRA. No, no, NO. I shall be drowned.

CLEOPATRA. No, no, NO. I'm going to drown.

BRITANNUS. Caesar: I am a man and a Briton, not a fish. I must have a boat. I cannot swim.

BRITANNUS. Caesar: I'm a man and a Briton, not a fish. I need a boat. I can't swim.

CLEOPATRA. Neither can I.

CLEOPATRA. Me neither.

CAESAR (to Britannus). Stay here, then, alone, until I recapture the lighthouse: I will not forget you. Now, Rufio.

CAESAR (to Britannus). Stay here alone until I get the lighthouse back: I won't forget you. Now, Rufio.

RUFIO. You have made up your mind to this folly?

RUFIO. Have you really decided to go through with this mistake?

CAESAR. The Egyptians have made it up for me. What else is there to do? And mind where you jump: I do not want to get your fourteen stone in the small of my back as I come up. (He runs up the steps and stands on the coping.)

CAESAR. The Egyptians have sorted it all out for me. What else is there to do? And watch where you land: I really don't want your fourteen stone crashing down on my back as I come up. (He runs up the steps and stands on the edge.)

BRITANNUS (anxiously). One last word, Caesar. Do not let yourself be seen in the fashionable part of Alexandria until you have changed your clothes.

BRITANNUS (anxiously). One last thing, Caesar. Don’t show yourself in the trendy part of Alexandria until you’ve changed your clothes.

CAESAR (calling over the sea). Ho, Apollodorus: (he points skyward and quotes the barcarolle)

CAESAR (calling over the sea). Hey, Apollodorus: (he points skyward and quotes the barcarolle)

The white upon the blue above—

APOLLODORUS (swimming in the distance)

APOLLODORUS (swimming far away)

Is purple on the green below—

CAESAR (exultantly). Aha! (He plunges into the sea.)

CAESAR (with excitement). Aha! (He jumps into the sea.)

CLEOPATRA (running excitedly to the steps). Oh, let me see. He will be drowned. (Rufio seizes her.) Ah—ah—ah—ah! (He pitches her screaming into the sea. Rufio and Britannus roar with laughter.)

CLEOPATRA (running excitedly to the steps). Oh, let me see. He’s going to drown. (Rufio grabs her.) Ah—ah—ah—ah! (He throws her screaming into the sea. Rufio and Britannus burst out laughing.)

RUFIO (looking down after her). He has got her. (To Britannus) Hold the fort, Briton. Caesar will not forget you. (He springs off.)

RUFIO (looking down after her). He’s got her. (To Britannus) Hold the fort, Briton. Caesar won't forget you. (He jumps off.)

BRITANNUS (running to the steps to watch them as they swim). All safe, Rufio?

BRITANNUS (running to the steps to watch them as they swim). All good, Rufio?

RUFIO (swimming). All safe.

RUFIO (swimming). All good.

CAESAR (swimming further of). Take refuge up there by the beacon; and pile the fuel on the trap door, Britannus.

CAESAR (swimming further off). Get up there by the beacon; and stack the fuel on the trap door, Britannus.

BRITANNUS (calling in reply). I will first do so, and then commend myself to my country’s gods. (A sound of cheering from the sea. Britannus gives full vent to his excitement) The boat has reached him: Hip, hip, hip, hurrah!

BRITANNUS (calling in reply). I'll do that first, then I’ll give thanks to my country’s gods. (A sound of cheering from the sea. Britannus expresses his excitement enthusiastically) The boat has reached him: Hooray, hooray, hooray!





ACT IV

Cleopatra’s sousing in the east harbor of Alexandria was in October 48 B. C. In March 47 she is passing the afternoon in her boudoir in the palace, among a bevy of her ladies, listening to a slave girl who is playing the harp in the middle of the room. The harpist’s master, an old musician, with a lined face, prominent brows, white beard, moustache and eyebrows twisted and horned at the ends, and a consciously keen and pretentious expression, is squatting on the floor close to her on her right, watching her performance. Ftatateeta is in attendance near the door, in front of a group of female slaves. Except the harp player all are seated: Cleopatra in a chair opposite the door on the other side of the room; the rest on the ground. Cleopatra’s ladies are all young, the most conspicuous being Charmian and Iras, her favorites. Charmian is a hatchet faced, terra cotta colored little goblin, swift in her movements, and neatly finished at the hands and feet. Iras is a plump, goodnatured creature, rather fatuous, with a profusion of red hair, and a tendency to giggle on the slightest provocation.

Cleopatra was relaxing in the east harbor of Alexandria in October 48 B.C. In March 47, she is spending the afternoon in her private chamber in the palace, surrounded by a group of her ladies, listening to a slave girl playing the harp in the middle of the room. The harpist’s master, an old musician with a lined face, prominent brows, a white beard, a mustache, and eyebrows twisted at the ends, has an intentionally sharp and pretentious expression as he squats on the floor close to her right, watching her perform. Ftatateeta is nearby at the door, in front of a group of female slaves. Everyone but the harp player is seated: Cleopatra is in a chair opposite the door on the other side of the room; the others are on the ground. Cleopatra’s attendants are all young, with the most notable being Charmian and Iras, her favorites. Charmian is a sharp-faced, terra cotta-colored little figure, quick in her movements, and well-groomed. Iras is a plump, good-natured girl, somewhat silly, with a mass of red hair and a tendency to giggle at the slightest provocation.



CLEOPATRA. Can I——

CLEOPATRA. Can I——

FTATATEETA (insolently, to the player). Peace, thou! The Queen speaks. (The player stops.)

FTATATEETA (insolently, to the player). Quiet down! The Queen is speaking. (The player stops.)

CLEOPATRA (to the old musician). I want to learn to play the harp with my own hands. Caesar loves music. Can you teach me?

CLEOPATRA (to the old musician). I want to learn to play the harp by myself. Caesar loves music. Can you teach me?

MUSICIAN. Assuredly I and no one else can teach the Queen. Have I not discovered the lost method of the ancient Egyptians, who could make a pyramid tremble by touching a bass string? All the other teachers are quacks: I have exposed them repeatedly.

MUSICIAN. Definitely, I'm the only one who can teach the Queen. Haven't I uncovered the ancient Egyptians' forgotten technique, which could make a pyramid shake just by plucking a bass string? All the other teachers are frauds; I've called them out time and again.

CLEOPATRA. Good: you shall teach me. How long will it take?

CLEOPATRA. Great! You can teach me. How long will it take?

MUSICIAN. Not very long: only four years. Your Majesty must first become proficient in the philosophy of Pythagoras.

MUSICIAN. Not too long: just four years. Your Majesty needs to master the philosophy of Pythagoras first.

CLEOPATRA. Has she (indicating the slave) become proficient in the philosophy of Pythagoras?

CLEOPATRA. Has she (indicating the slave) become skilled in the philosophy of Pythagoras?

MUSICIAN. Oh, she is but a slave. She learns as a dog learns.

MUSICIAN. Oh, she is just a slave. She learns like a dog learns.

CLEOPATRA. Well, then, I will learn as a dog learns; for she plays better than you. You shall give me a lesson every day for a fortnight. (The musician hastily scrambles to his feet and bows profoundly.) After that, whenever I strike a false note you shall be flogged; and if I strike so many that there is not time to flog you, you shall be thrown into the Nile to feed the crocodiles. Give the girl a piece of gold; and send them away.

CLEOPATRA. Alright, then, I’ll learn like a dog learns because she plays better than you. You’re going to give me a lesson every day for two weeks. (The musician quickly gets to his feet and bows deeply.) After that, if I hit a wrong note, you’ll be punished; and if I hit so many that there isn't time to punish you, you’ll be tossed into the Nile to feed the crocodiles. Give the girl a gold coin and send them away.

MUSICIAN (much taken aback). But true art will not be thus forced.

MUSICIAN (greatly surprised). But genuine art cannot be compelled like this.

FTATATEETA (pushing him out). What is this? Answering the Queen, forsooth. Out with you.

FTATATEETA (pushing him out). What's going on? You're answering the Queen, really? Get out of here.

He is pushed out by Ftatateeta, the girl following with her harp, amid the laughter of the ladies and slaves.

He is pushed out by Ftatateeta, the girl trailing behind with her harp, amidst the laughter of the ladies and servants.

CLEOPATRA. Now, can any of you amuse me? Have you any stories or any news?

CLEOPATRA. So, can any of you entertain me? Do you have any stories or news to share?

IRAS. Ftatateeta——

IRAS. Ftatateeta——

CLEOPATRA. Oh, Ftatateeta, Ftatateeta, always Ftatateeta. Some new tale to set me against her.

CLEOPATRA. Oh, Ftatateeta, Ftatateeta, always Ftatateeta. Another story to turn me against her.

IRAS. No: this time Ftatateeta has been virtuous. (All the ladies laugh—not the slaves.) Pothinus has been trying to bribe her to let him speak with you.

IRAS. No, this time Ftatateeta has been good. (All the ladies laugh—not the slaves.) Pothinus has been trying to bribe her to let him talk to you.

CLEOPATRA (wrathfully). Ha! you all sell audiences with me, as if I saw whom you please, and not whom I please. I should like to know how much of her gold piece that harp girl will have to give up before she leaves the palace.

CLEOPATRA (wrathfully). Ha! You all make deals with me, like I’ll meet whoever you want and not who I want. I’d like to know how much of her gold that harp girl will have to give up before she leaves the palace.

IRAS. We can easily find out that for you.

IRAS. We can easily look that up for you.

The ladies laugh.

The women laugh.

CLEOPATRA (frowning). You laugh; but take care, take care. I will find out some day how to make myself served as Caesar is served.

CLEOPATRA (frowning). You laugh; but be careful, be careful. I will figure out someday how to get what I want just like Caesar does.

CHARMIAN. Old hooknose! (They laugh again.)

CHARMIAN. Old hooknose! (They laugh again.)

CLEOPATRA (revolted). Silence. Charmian: do not you be a silly little Egyptian fool. Do you know why I allow you all to chatter impertinently just as you please, instead of treating you as Ftatateeta would treat you if she were Queen?

CLEOPATRA (revolted). Silence. Charmian: don’t be a foolish little Egyptian. Do you know why I let you all talk back freely instead of treating you like Ftatateeta would if she were Queen?

CHARMIAN. Because you try to imitate Caesar in everything; and he lets everybody say what they please to him.

CHARMIAN. Because you try to copy Caesar in everything, and he lets everyone say whatever they want to him.

CLEOPATRA. No; but because I asked him one day why he did so; and he said “Let your women talk; and you will learn something from them.” What have I to learn from them? I said. “What they are,” said he; and oh! you should have seen his eye as he said it. You would have curled up, you shallow things. (They laugh. She turns fiercely on Iras) At whom are you laughing—at me or at Caesar?

CLEOPATRA. No; but I asked him one day why he did that, and he said, “Let your women talk; and you’ll learn something from them.” What do I need to learn from them? I asked. “What they are,” he replied, and oh! you should have seen the look in his eyes when he said it. You would have shriveled up, you shallow people. (They laugh. She turns fiercely on Iras) Who are you laughing at—me or Caesar?

IRAS. At Caesar.

IRAS. At Caesar.

CLEOPATRA. If you were not a fool, you would laugh at me; and if you were not a coward you would not be afraid to tell me so. (Ftatateeta returns.) Ftatateeta: they tell me that Pothinus has offered you a bribe to admit him to my presence.

CLEOPATRA. If you weren't such a fool, you would laugh at me; and if you weren't so scared, you would tell me that to my face. (Ftatateeta returns.) Ftatateeta: I've heard that Pothinus has tried to bribe you to let him see me.

FTATATEETA (protesting). Now by my father’s gods——

FTATATEETA (protesting). Now by my father's gods——

CLEOPATRA (cutting her short despotically). Have I not told you not to deny things? You would spend the day calling your father’s gods to witness to your virtues if I let you. Go take the bribe; and bring in Pothinus. (Ftatateeta is about to reply.) Don’t answer me. Go.

CLEOPATRA (interrupting her firmly). Haven't I told you not to deny anything? You would spend all day calling your father's gods to back up your virtues if I allowed it. Go take the bribe; and bring in Pothinus. (Ftatateeta is about to respond.) Don’t say anything. Just go.

Ftatateeta goes out; and Cleopatra rises and begins to prowl to and fro between her chair and the door, meditating. All rise and stand.

Ftatateeta leaves; and Cleopatra gets up and starts pacing back and forth between her chair and the door, deep in thought. Everyone else stands.

IRAS (as she reluctantly rises). Heigho! I wish Caesar were back in Rome.

IRAS (as she reluctantly rises). Ugh! I wish Caesar were back in Rome.

CLEOPATRA (threateningly). It will be a bad day for you all when he goes. Oh, if I were not ashamed to let him see that I am as cruel at heart as my father, I would make you repent that speech! Why do you wish him away?

CLEOPATRA (threateningly). It will be a bad day for all of you when he leaves. Oh, if I weren't too ashamed to let him know that I am just as cruel as my father, I would make you regret saying that! Why do you want him gone?

CHARMIAN. He makes you so terribly prosy and serious and learned and philosophical. It is worse than being religious, at our ages. (The ladies laugh.)

CHARMIAN. He makes you so dull and serious and all about theories and deep thoughts. It's worse than being religious at our ages. (The ladies laugh.)

CLEOPATRA. Cease that endless cackling, will you. Hold your tongues.

CLEOPATRA. Stop that nonstop chatter, will you? Keep quiet.

CHARMIAN (with mock resignation). Well, well: we must try to live up to Caesar.

CHARMIAN (with mock resignation). Alright, alright: we have to try to measure up to Caesar.

They laugh again. Cleopatra rages silently as she continues to prowl to and fro. Ftatateeta comes back with Pothinus, who halts on the threshold.

They laugh again. Cleopatra seethes silently as she continues to pace back and forth. Ftatateeta returns with Pothinus, who stops at the doorway.

FTATATEETA (at the door). Pothinus craves the ear of the——

FTATATEETA (at the door). Pothinus seeks the attention of the——

CLEOPATRA. There, there: that will do: let him come in. (She resumes her seat. All sit down except Pothinus, who advances to the middle of the room. Ftatateeta takes her former place.) Well, Pothinus: what is the latest news from your rebel friends?

CLEOPATRA. Alright, that’s enough: let him come in. (She takes her seat again. Everyone sits down except Pothinus, who steps to the center of the room. Ftatateeta returns to her previous spot.) So, Pothinus: what’s the latest news from your rebel friends?

POTHINUS (haughtily). I am no friend of rebellion. And a prisoner does not receive news.

POTHINUS (haughtily). I'm not a supporter of rebellion. And a prisoner doesn't get updates.

CLEOPATRA. You are no more a prisoner than I am—than Caesar is. These six months we have been besieged in this palace by my subjects. You are allowed to walk on the beach among the soldiers. Can I go further myself, or can Caesar?

CLEOPATRA. You’re not any more of a prisoner than I am—or than Caesar is. We've been trapped in this palace by my people for six months. You get to walk on the beach with the soldiers. Can I go any further myself, or can Caesar?

POTHINUS. You are but a child, Cleopatra, and do not understand these matters.

POTHINUS. You’re just a kid, Cleopatra, and you don’t really get these things.

The ladies laugh. Cleopatra looks inscrutably at him.

The women laugh. Cleopatra gazes at him with an unreadable expression.

CHARMIAN. I see you do not know the latest news, Pothinus.

CHARMIAN. I can tell you haven't heard the latest news, Pothinus.

POTHINUS. What is that?

POTHINUS. What’s that?

CHARMIAN. That Cleopatra is no longer a child. Shall I tell you how to grow much older, and much, much wiser in one day?

CHARMIAN. Cleopatra is no longer a child. Should I tell you how to become much older and way, way wiser in just one day?

POTHINUS. I should prefer to grow wiser without growing older.

POTHINUS. I’d rather get smarter without getting older.

CHARMIAN. Well, go up to the top of the lighthouse; and get somebody to take you by the hair and throw you into the sea. (The ladies laugh.)

CHARMIAN. Alright, go up to the top of the lighthouse, and get someone to grab you by the hair and toss you into the sea. (The ladies laugh.)

CLEOPATRA. She is right, Pothinus: you will come to the shore with much conceit washed out of you. (The ladies laugh. Cleopatra rises impatiently.) Begone, all of you. I will speak with Pothinus alone. Drive them out, Ftatateeta. (They run out laughing. Ftatateeta shuts the door on them.) What are you waiting for?

CLEOPATRA. She's right, Pothinus: you're going to come to the shore with a lot less arrogance. (The ladies laugh. Cleopatra stands up impatiently.) Get out, all of you. I want to talk to Pothinus alone. Get them out, Ftatateeta. (They exit laughing. Ftatateeta closes the door behind them.) What are you waiting for?

FTATATEETA. It is not meet that the Queen remain alone with——

FTATATEETA. It is not right for the Queen to be alone with——

CLEOPATRA (interrupting her). Ftatateeta: must I sacrifice you to your father’s gods to teach you that I am Queen of Egypt, and not you?

CLEOPATRA (interrupting her). Ftatateeta: do I have to sacrifice you to your father's gods to show you that I am the Queen of Egypt, and not you?

FTATATEETA (indignantly). You are like the rest of them. You want to be what these Romans call a New Woman. (She goes out, banging the door.)

FTATATEETA (indignantly). You're just like all the others. You want to be what these Romans call a New Woman. (She goes out, slamming the door.)

CLEOPATRA (sitting down again). Now, Pothinus: why did you bribe Ftatateeta to bring you hither?

CLEOPATRA (sitting down again). Now, Pothinus: why did you pay Ftatateeta to bring you here?

POTHINUS (studying her gravely). Cleopatra: what they tell me is true. You are changed.

POTHINUS (studying her seriously). Cleopatra: what I've been told is true. You've changed.

CLEOPATRA. Do you speak with Caesar every day for six months: and you will be changed.

CLEOPATRA. You talk to Caesar every day for six months, and you will be different.

POTHINUS. It is the common talk that you are infatuated with this old man.

POTHINUS. People are saying that you're really into this old guy.

CLEOPATRA. Infatuated? What does that mean? Made foolish, is it not? Oh no: I wish I were.

CLEOPATRA. Infatuated? What does that even mean? Made foolish, right? Oh no: I wish I were.

POTHINUS. You wish you were made foolish! How so?

POTHINUS. You actually want to be made a fool? How's that?

CLEOPATRA. When I was foolish, I did what I liked, except when Ftatateeta beat me; and even then I cheated her and did it by stealth. Now that Caesar has made me wise, it is no use my liking or disliking; I do what must be done, and have no time to attend to myself. That is not happiness; but it is greatness. If Caesar were gone, I think I could govern the Egyptians; for what Caesar is to me, I am to the fools around me.

CLEOPATRA. When I was naive, I did whatever I wanted, except when Ftatateeta punished me; even then, I found a way to sneak around it. Now that Caesar has made me wise, it doesn't matter what I like or dislike; I do what has to be done and don't have time to focus on myself. That’s not happiness; but it is greatness. If Caesar were gone, I believe I could lead the Egyptians; because what Caesar is to me, I am to the fools surrounding me.

POTHINUS (looking hard at her). Cleopatra: this may be the vanity of youth.

POTHINUS (staring at her). Cleopatra: this might just be youthful pride.

CLEOPATRA. No, no: it is not that I am so clever, but that the others are so stupid.

CLEOPATRA. No, no: it's not that I'm so smart, but that the others are so clueless.

POTHINUS (musingly). Truly, that is the great secret.

POTHINUS (thinking). Really, that's the big secret.

CLEOPATRA. Well, now tell me what you came to say?

CLEOPATRA. So, what did you come to tell me?

POTHINUS (embarrassed). I! Nothing.

I! Nothing.

CLEOPATRA. Nothing!

CLEOPATRA. Nada!

POTHINUS. At least—to beg for my liberty: that is all.

POTHINUS. At least—to ask for my freedom: that’s all.

CLEOPATRA. For that you would have knelt to Caesar. No, Pothinus: you came with some plan that depended on Cleopatra being a little nursery kitten. Now that Cleopatra is a Queen, the plan is upset.

CLEOPATRA. You would have bowed to Caesar for that. No, Pothinus: you came with some scheme that relied on Cleopatra being an innocent little kitten. Now that Cleopatra is a Queen, your plan is ruined.

POTHINUS (bowing his head submissively). It is so.

POTHINUS (bowing his head submissively). That's true.

CLEOPATRA (exultant). Aha!

CLEOPATRA (excited). Aha!

POTHINUS (raising his eyes keenly to hers). Is Cleopatra then indeed a Queen, and no longer Caesar’s prisoner and slave?

POTHINUS (raising his eyes keenly to hers). So, Cleopatra is really a Queen now, and no longer a prisoner and slave of Caesar?

CLEOPATRA. Pothinus: we are all Caesar’s slaves—all we in this land of Egypt—whether we will or no. And she who is wise enough to know this will reign when Caesar departs.

CLEOPATRA. Pothinus: we are all Caesar’s slaves—all of us in this land of Egypt—whether we like it or not. And she who is smart enough to realize this will rule when Caesar leaves.

POTHINUS. You harp on Caesar’s departure.

POTHINUS. You keep bringing up Caesar’s leaving.

CLEOPATRA. What if I do?

CLEOPATRA. What if I go for it?

POTHINUS. Does he not love you?

POTHINUS. Doesn't he care for you?

CLEOPATRA. Love me! Pothinus: Caesar loves no one. Who are those we love? Only those whom we do not hate: all people are strangers and enemies to us except those we love. But it is not so with Caesar. He has no hatred in him: he makes friends with everyone as he does with dogs and children. His kindness to me is a wonder: neither mother, father, nor nurse have ever taken so much care for me, or thrown open their thoughts to me so freely.

CLEOPATRA. Love me! Pothinus: Caesar loves no one. Who are the people we love? Only those we don't hate: everyone else is a stranger and an enemy to us except those we love. But that's not the case with Caesar. He has no hatred in him: he makes friends with everyone just like he does with dogs and kids. His kindness to me is amazing: neither my mother, father, nor nurse have ever cared for me so much or opened their hearts to me so freely.

POTHINUS. Well: is not this love?

POTHINUS. So, is this not love?

CLEOPATRA. What! When he will do as much for the first girl he meets on his way back to Rome? Ask his slave, Britannus: he has been just as good to him. Nay, ask his very horse! His kindness is not for anything in me: it is in his own nature.

CLEOPATRA. What! When he’ll do just as much for the first girl he meets on his way back to Rome? Ask his slave, Britannus: he’s been just as nice to him. No, ask his very horse! His kindness isn’t for anything in me: it’s just who he is.

POTHINUS. But how can you be sure that he does not love you as men love women?

POTHINUS. But how can you be sure that he doesn't love you like men love women?

CLEOPATRA. Because I cannot make him jealous. I have tried.

CLEOPATRA. Because I can't make him jealous. I've tried.

POTHINUS. Hm! Perhaps I should have asked, then, do you love him?

POTHINUS. Hm! Maybe I should have asked, then, do you love him?

CLEOPATRA. Can one love a god? Besides, I love another Roman: one whom I saw long before Caesar—no god, but a man—one who can love and hate—one whom I can hurt and who would hurt me.

CLEOPATRA. Can someone love a god? Besides, I'm in love with another Roman: someone I saw long before Caesar—no god, but a man—someone who can love and hate—someone I can hurt and who would hurt me.

POTHINUS. Does Caesar know this?

POTHINUS. Does Caesar know about this?

CLEOPATRA. Yes

CLEOPATRA. Yeah

POTHINUS. And he is not angry.

POTHINUS. And he's not mad.

CLEOPATRA. He promises to send him to Egypt to please me!

CLEOPATRA. He says he'll send him to Egypt to make me happy!

POTHINUS. I do not understand this man.

POTHINUS. I don't get this guy.

CLEOPATRA (with superb contempt). You understand Caesar! How could you? (Proudly) I do—by instinct.

CLEOPATRA (with superb contempt). You understand Caesar! How could you? (Proudly) I do—by instinct.

POTHINUS (deferentially, after a moment’s thought). Your Majesty caused me to be admitted to-day. What message has the Queen for me?

POTHINUS (respectfully, after a moment of contemplation). Your Majesty let me in today. What message does the Queen have for me?

CLEOPATRA. This. You think that by making my brother king, you will rule in Egypt, because you are his guardian and he is a little silly.

CLEOPATRA. This. You think that by making my brother king, you'll have control in Egypt, since you're his guardian and he's a bit foolish.

POTHINUS. The Queen is pleased to say so.

POTHINUS. The Queen is happy to say that.

CLEOPATRA. The Queen is pleased to say this also. That Caesar will eat up you, and Achillas, and my brother, as a cat eats up mice; and that he will put on this land of Egypt as a shepherd puts on his garment. And when he has done that, he will return to Rome, and leave Cleopatra here as his viceroy.

CLEOPATRA. The Queen is happy to say this too. That Caesar will devour you, Achillas, and my brother, just like a cat devours mice; and that he will take over this land of Egypt as a shepherd puts on his cloak. And after he does that, he will go back to Rome and leave Cleopatra here as his deputy.

POTHINUS (breaking out wrathfully). That he will never do. We have a thousand men to his ten; and we will drive him and his beggarly legions into the sea.

POTHINUS (breaking out wrathfully). He will never do that. We have a thousand men to his ten; and we will push him and his pitiful legions into the sea.

CLEOPATRA (with scorn, getting up to go). You rant like any common fellow. Go, then, and marshal your thousands; and make haste; for Mithridates of Pergamos is at hand with reinforcements for Caesar. Caesar has held you at bay with two legions: we shall see what he will do with twenty.

CLEOPATRA (with scorn, getting up to go). You talk like any ordinary person. Go on, rally your thousands; and hurry up; because Mithridates of Pergamos is coming with reinforcements for Caesar. Caesar has kept you at bay with two legions: we'll see what he can do with twenty.

POTHINUS. Cleopatra——

POTHINUS. Cleopatra—

CLEOPATRA. Enough, enough: Caesar has spoiled me for talking to weak things like you. (She goes out. Pothinus, with a gesture of rage, is following, when Ftatateeta enters and stops him.)

CLEOPATRA. That's enough, that's enough: Caesar has made me too good for conversations with weak people like you. (She exits. Pothinus, in a fit of anger, is about to follow, but Ftatateeta enters and halts him.)

POTHINUS. Let me go forth from this hateful place.

POTHINUS. Please let me leave this terrible place.

FTATATEETA. What angers you?

FTATATEETA. What makes you mad?

POTHINUS. The curse of all the gods of Egypt be upon her! She has sold her country to the Roman, that she may buy it back from him with her kisses.

POTHINUS. May all the gods of Egypt curse her! She has betrayed her country to the Romans, just so she can win it back with her kisses.

FTATATEETA. Fool: did she not tell you that she would have Caesar gone?

FTATATEETA. Fool: didn’t she tell you she wanted Caesar gone?

POTHINUS. You listened?

POTHINUS. Did you hear?

FTATATEETA. I took care that some honest woman should be at hand whilst you were with her.

FTATATEETA. I made sure that a trustworthy woman was nearby while you were with her.

POTHINUS. Now by the gods——

POTHINUS. Now by the gods—

FTATATEETA. Enough of your gods! Caesar’s gods are all powerful here. It is no use you coming to Cleopatra: you are only an Egyptian. She will not listen to any of her own race: she treats us all as children.

FTATATEETA. Enough with your gods! Caesar’s gods are in charge here. There’s no point in you approaching Cleopatra: you’re just an Egyptian. She won’t listen to anyone from her own people; she sees us all as children.

POTHINUS. May she perish for it!

POTHINUS. Let her pay for it!

FTATATEETA (balefully). May your tongue wither for that wish! Go! send for Lucius Septimius, the slayer of Pompey. He is a Roman: may be she will listen to him. Begone!

FTATATEETA (balefully). I hope your tongue rots for making that wish! Go! Send for Lucius Septimius, the killer of Pompey. He’s a Roman; maybe she’ll listen to him. Get out of here!

POTHINUS (darkly). I know to whom I must go now.

POTHINUS (darkly). I know who I need to talk to now.

FTATATEETA (suspiciously). To whom, then?

FTATATEETA (suspiciously). To who, then?

POTHINUS. To a greater Roman than Lucius. And mark this, mistress. You thought, before Caesar came, that Egypt should presently be ruled by you and your crew in the name of Cleopatra. I set myself against it——

POTHINUS. To someone more important than Lucius. And listen to this, mistress. You thought, before Caesar arrived, that Egypt should be governed by you and your group in Cleopatra's name. I opposed it——

FTATATEETA (interrupting him—wrangling). Ay; that it might be ruled by you and your crew in the name of Ptolemy.

FTATATEETA (interrupting him—arguing). Yeah; it could be controlled by you and your team in the name of Ptolemy.

POTHINUS. Better me, or even you, than a woman with a Roman heart; and that is what Cleopatra is now become. Whilst I live, she shall never rule. So guide yourself accordingly. (He goes out.)

POTHINUS. It’s better for me, or even you, than for a woman with a Roman heart; and that’s what Cleopatra has become. As long as I’m alive, she will never be in charge. So act accordingly. (He goes out.)

It is by this time drawing on to dinner time. The table is laid on the roof of the palace; and thither Rufio is now climbing, ushered by a majestic palace official, wand of office in hand, and followed by a slave carrying an inlaid stool. After many stairs they emerge at last into a massive colonnade on the roof. Light curtains are drawn between the columns on the north and east to soften the westering sun. The official leads Rufio to one of these shaded sections. A cord for pulling the curtains apart hangs down between the pillars.

It's getting close to dinner time. The table is set up on the palace roof, and Rufio is now making his way up, escorted by a dignified palace official, who is holding a staff of office, with a slave following behind carrying an inlaid stool. After climbing many stairs, they finally arrive at a grand colonnade on the roof. Light curtains are drawn between the columns on the north and east to soften the setting sun. The official guides Rufio to one of these shaded areas. A cord for pulling the curtains aside hangs down between the pillars.

THE OFFICIAL (bowing). The Roman commander will await Caesar here.

THE OFFICIAL (bowing). The Roman commander will be waiting for Caesar here.

The slave sets down the stool near the southernmost column, and slips out through the curtains.

The servant puts down the stool next to the southernmost column and quietly slips out through the curtains.

RUFIO (sitting down, a little blown). Pouf! That was a climb. How high have we come?

RUFIO (sitting down, a bit out of breath). Wow! That was quite a climb. How far up have we come?

THE OFFICIAL. We are on the palace roof, O Beloved of Victory!

THE OFFICIAL. We're on the palace roof, O Beloved of Victory!

RUFIO. Good! the Beloved of Victory has no more stairs to get up.

RUFIO. Great! the Beloved of Victory has no more stairs to climb.

A second official enters from the opposite end, walking backwards.

A second official comes in from the other end, walking backward.

THE SECOND OFFICIAL. Caesar approaches.

THE SECOND OFFICIAL. Caesar arrives.

Caesar, fresh from the bath, clad in a new tunic of purple silk, comes in, beaming and festive, followed by two slaves carrying a light couch, which is hardly more than an elaborately designed bench. They place it near the northmost of the two curtained columns. When this is done they slip out through the curtains; and the two officials, formally bowing, follow them. Rufio rises to receive Caesar.

Caesar, just out of the bath and wearing a new purple silk tunic, enters with a smile, looking festive. He is followed by two slaves carrying a light couch, which is basically a fancy bench. They set it down near the northernmost of the two curtained columns. Once that's done, they slip out through the curtains, and the two officials bow formally and follow them. Rufio stands up to greet Caesar.

CAESAR (coming over to him). Why, Rufio! (Surveying his dress with an air of admiring astonishment) A new baldrick! A new golden pommel to your sword! And you have had your hair cut! But not your beard—? impossible! (He sniffs at Rufio’s beard.) Yes, perfumed, by Jupiter Olympus!

CAESAR (walking over to him). Wow, Rufio! (Looking at his outfit with admiration) A new belt! A new gold pommel on your sword! And you got your hair cut! But not your beard—? No way! (He sniffs Rufio’s beard.) Yep, it’s scented, by Jupiter Olympus!

RUFIO (growling). Well: is it to please myself?

RUFIO (growling). Well: is it to make myself happy?

CAESAR (affectionately). No, my son Rufio, but to please me—to celebrate my birthday.

CAESAR (affectionately). No, my son Rufio, but to make me happy—to celebrate my birthday.

RUFIO (contemptuously). Your birthday! You always have a birthday when there is a pretty girl to be flattered or an ambassador to be conciliated. We had seven of them in ten months last year.

RUFIO (contemptuously). Your birthday! You always manage to have a birthday when there’s a pretty girl to impress or an ambassador to charm. We had seven of them in ten months last year.

CAESAR (contritely). It is true, Rufio! I shall never break myself of these petty deceits.

CAESAR (feeling remorseful). It's true, Rufio! I will never be able to stop these little tricks.

RUFIO. Who is to dine with us—besides Cleopatra?

RUFIO. Who else is dining with us—besides Cleopatra?

CAESAR. Apollodorus the Sicilian.

CAESAR. Apollodorus from Sicily.

RUFIO. That popinjay!

RUFIO. That show-off!

CAESAR. Come! the popinjay is an amusing dog—tells a story; sings a song; and saves us the trouble of flattering the Queen. What does she care for old politicians and campfed bears like us? No: Apollodorus is good company, Rufio, good company.

CAESAR. Come on! The parrot is a funny guy—he tells a story, sings a song, and saves us from having to flatter the Queen. What does she care about old politicians and campy bears like us? No way: Apollodorus is great company, Rufio, great company.

RUFIO. Well, he can swim a bit and fence a bit: he might be worse, if he only knew how to hold his tongue.

RUFIO. Well, he can swim a little and fence a little: he could be worse, if only he knew how to keep his mouth shut.

CAESAR. The gods forbid he should ever learn! Oh, this military life! this tedious, brutal life of action! That is the worst of us Romans: we are mere doers and drudgers: a swarm of bees turned into men. Give me a good talker—one with wit and imagination enough to live without continually doing something!

CAESAR. I hope he never finds out! Oh, this military life! This exhausting, brutal life of constant action! That’s the worst part about us Romans: we’re just doers and workers; like a bunch of bees turned into people. Give me a good talker—someone with enough wit and imagination to live without always needing to do something!

RUFIO. Ay! a nice time he would have of it with you when dinner was over! Have you noticed that I am before my time?

RUFIO. Ah! He'd have a great time with you after dinner! Have you seen that I'm ahead of schedule?

CAESAR. Aha! I thought that meant something. What is it?

CAESAR. Aha! I thought that meant something. What is it?

RUFIO. Can we be overheard here?

RUFIO. Can anyone hear us here?

CAESAR. Our privacy invites eavesdropping. I can remedy that. (He claps his hands twice. The curtains are drawn, revealing the roof garden with a banqueting table set across in the middle for four persons, one at each end, and two side by side. The side next Caesar and Rufio is blocked with golden wine vessels and basins. A gorgeous major-domo is superintending the laying of the table by a staff of slaves. The colonnade goes round the garden at both sides to the further end, where a gap in it, like a great gateway, leaves the view open to the sky beyond the western edge of the roof, except in the middle, where a life size image of Ra, seated on a huge plinth, towers up, with hawk head and crown of asp and disk. His altar, which stands at his feet, is a single white stone.) Now everybody can see us, nobody will think of listening to us. (He sits down on the bench left by the two slaves.)

CAESAR. Our privacy attracts eavesdroppers. I can fix that. (He claps his hands twice. The curtains are drawn, revealing the rooftop garden with a banquet table set in the middle for four people, one at each end and two side by side. The side next to Caesar and Rufio is crowded with golden wine vessels and basins. A stunning major-domo oversees the setting of the table by a team of slaves. The colonnade wraps around the garden on both sides, leading to the far end, where an opening, resembling a large gateway, allows a view of the sky beyond the western edge of the roof. In the center stands a life-size image of Ra, seated on a massive plinth, towering above with a hawk head and a crown of asp and disk. His altar, which is at his feet, is a single white stone.) Now everyone can see us, and no one will think to listen in on us. (He sits down on the bench left by the two slaves.)

RUFIO (sitting down on his stool). Pothinus wants to speak to you. I advise you to see him: there is some plotting going on here among the women.

RUFIO (sitting down on his stool). Pothinus wants to talk to you. I suggest you meet with him; something shady is happening here among the women.

CAESAR. Who is Pothinus?

CAESAR. Who's Pothinus?

RUFIO. The fellow with hair like squirrel’s fur—the little King’s bear leader, whom you kept prisoner.

RUFIO. The guy with hair like a squirrel's fur—the little King's bear leader, whom you had locked up.

CAESAR (annoyed). And has he not escaped?

CAESAR (frustrated). Hasn’t he made his escape?

RUFIO. No.

Rufio. Nah.

CAESAR (rising imperiously). Why not? You have been guarding this man instead of watching the enemy. Have I not told you always to let prisoners escape unless there are special orders to the contrary? Are there not enough mouths to be fed without him?

CAESAR (standing tall). Why not? You've been watching over this guy instead of keeping an eye on the enemy. Didn't I always tell you to let prisoners go unless there are specific orders saying otherwise? Aren't there enough people to feed without him?

RUFIO. Yes; and if you would have a little sense and let me cut his throat, you would save his rations. Anyhow, he won’t escape. Three sentries have told him they would put a pilum through him if they saw him again. What more can they do? He prefers to stay and spy on us. So would I if I had to do with generals subject to fits of clemency.

RUFIO. Yes; and if you had a bit of common sense and let me kill him, you’d save on his rations. Anyway, he won’t get away. Three guards have told him they’d spear him if they see him again. What else can they do? He’d rather stick around and spy on us. So would I if I were dealing with generals prone to fits of mercy.

CAESAR (resuming his seat, argued down). Hm! And so he wants to see me.

CAESAR (resuming his seat, argued down). Hm! So he wants to meet with me.

RUFIO. Ay. I have brought him with me. He is waiting there (jerking his thumb over his shoulder) under guard.

RUFIO. Yeah. I’ve brought him with me. He’s waiting over there (points behind him) under guard.

CAESAR. And you want me to see him?

CAESAR. So you want me to meet him?

RUFIO (obstinately). I don’t want anything. I daresay you will do what you like. Don’t put it on to me.

RUFIO (stubbornly). I don’t want anything. I’m sure you’ll do whatever you want. Don’t blame me for it.

CAESAR (with an air of doing it expressly to indulge Rufio). Well, well: let us have him.

CAESAR (trying to humor Rufio). Alright, let’s have him.

RUFIO (calling). Ho there, guard! Release your man and send him up. (Beckoning) Come along!

RUFIO (calling). Hey, guard! Let your man go and send him up. (Beckoning) Come on!

Pothinus enters and stops mistrustfully between the two, looking from one to the other.

Pothinus walks in and hesitantly stands between the two, glancing back and forth between them.

CAESAR (graciously). Ah, Pothinus! You are welcome. And what is the news this afternoon?

CAESAR (graciously). Ah, Pothinus! It's great to see you. What's the news this afternoon?

POTHINUS. Caesar: I come to warn you of a danger, and to make you an offer.

POTHINUS. Caesar: I'm here to warn you about a danger and to make you an offer.

CAESAR. Never mind the danger. Make the offer.

CAESAR. Don't worry about the risk. Just make the offer.

RUFIO. Never mind the offer. What’s the danger?

RUFIO. Forget about the offer. What’s the risk?

POTHINUS. Caesar: you think that Cleopatra is devoted to you.

POTHINUS. Caesar: you believe that Cleopatra is loyal to you.

CAESAR (gravely). My friend: I already know what I think. Come to your offer.

CAESAR (seriously). My friend: I already know my thoughts. Go ahead with your proposal.

POTHINUS. I will deal plainly. I know not by what strange gods you have been enabled to defend a palace and a few yards of beach against a city and an army. Since we cut you off from Lake Mareotis, and you dug wells in the salt sea sand and brought up buckets of fresh water from them, we have known that your gods are irresistible, and that you are a worker of miracles. I no longer threaten you——

POTHINUS. I'll be straightforward. I don’t know what strange gods have given you the ability to defend a palace and a small stretch of beach against a city and an army. Ever since we blocked you from Lake Mareotis, and you dug wells in the salty beach sand and pulled up buckets of fresh water from them, we’ve understood that your gods are unbeatable, and that you perform miracles. I’m not threatening you anymore—

RUFIO (sarcastically). Very handsome of you, indeed.

RUFIO (sarcastically). Very nice of you, for sure.

POTHINUS. So be it: you are the master. Our gods sent the north west winds to keep you in our hands; but you have been too strong for them.

POTHINUS. Fine, you’re in charge. Our gods sent the northwest winds to keep you under our control, but you've been too powerful for them.

CAESAR (gently urging him to come to the point). Yes, yes, my friend. But what then?

CAESAR (gently urging him to get to the point). Yes, yes, my friend. But what’s next?

RUFIO. Spit it out, man. What have you to say?

RUFIO. Just say it, man. What do you want to say?

POTHINUS. I have to say that you have a traitress in your camp. Cleopatra——

POTHINUS. I need to tell you that there's a traitor among you. Cleopatra——

THE MAJOR-DOMO (at the table, announcing). The Queen! (Caesar and Rufio rise.)

THE MAJOR-DOMO (at the table, announcing). The Queen! (Caesar and Rufio rise.)

RUFIO (aside to Pothinus). You should have spat it out sooner, you fool. Now it is too late.

RUFIO (aside to Pothinus). You should have said that earlier, you idiot. Now it's too late.

Cleopatra, in gorgeous raiment, enters in state through the gap in the colonnade, and comes down past the image of Ra and past the table to Caesar. Her retinue, headed by Ftatateeta, joins the staff at the table. Caesar gives Cleopatra his seat, which she takes.

Cleopatra, dressed in stunning clothing, enters majestically through the opening in the colonnade and walks down past the statue of Ra and the table to reach Caesar. Her entourage, led by Ftatateeta, joins the group at the table. Caesar offers Cleopatra his seat, which she accepts.

CLEOPATRA (quickly, seeing Pothinus). What is he doing here?

CLEOPATRA (quickly, seeing Pothinus). What is he doing here?

CAESAR (seating himself beside her, in the most amiable of tempers). Just going to tell me something about you. You shall hear it. Proceed, Pothinus.

CAESAR (taking a seat beside her, in the friendliest of moods). I was just going to share something about you. You’ll hear it. Go ahead, Pothinus.

POTHINUS (disconcerted). Caesar— (He stammers.)

POTHINUS (worried). Caesar— (He stammers.)

CAESAR. Well, out with it.

CAESAR. Spill it.

POTHINUS. What I have to say is for your ear, not for the Queen’s.

POTHINUS. What I have to say is just for you, not for the Queen.

CLEOPATRA (with subdued ferocity). There are means of making you speak. Take care.

CLEOPATRA (with subdued ferocity). I have ways to make you talk. Be careful.

POTHINUS (defiantly). Caesar does not employ those means.

POTHINUS (defiantly). Caesar doesn't use those methods.

CAESAR. My friend: when a man has anything to tell in this world, the difficulty is not to make him tell it, but to prevent him from telling it too often. Let me celebrate my birthday by setting you free. Farewell: we’ll not meet again.

CAESAR. My friend: when someone has something to share in this world, the challenge isn't getting them to speak, but stopping them from going on about it too much. Let me mark my birthday by giving you your freedom. Goodbye: we won’t see each other again.

CLEOPATRA (angrily). Caesar: this mercy is foolish.

CLEOPATRA (angrily). Caesar, this kindness is pointless.

POTHINUS (to Caesar). Will you not give me a private audience? Your life may depend on it. (Caesar rises loftily.)

POTHINUS (to Caesar). Will you not give me a private meeting? Your life might depend on it. (Caesar stands up arrogantly.)

RUFIO (aside to Pothinus). Ass! Now we shall have some heroics.

RUFIO (aside to Pothinus). Great! Now we’re about to see some drama.

CAESAR (oratorically). Pothinus——

CAESAR (speaking). Pothinus——

RUFIO (interrupting him). Caesar: the dinner will spoil if you begin preaching your favourite sermon about life and death.

RUFIO (interrupting him). Caesar: the dinner will go bad if you start lecturing your favorite speech about life and death.

CLEOPATRA (priggishly). Peace, Rufio. I desire to hear Caesar.

CLEOPATRA (priggishly). Quiet, Rufio. I want to listen to Caesar.

RUFIO (bluntly). Your Majesty has heard it before. You repeated it to Apollodorus last week; and he thought it was all your own. (Caesar’s dignity collapses. Much tickled, he sits down again and looks roguishly at Cleopatra, who is furious. Rufio calls as before) Ho there, guard! Pass the prisoner out. He is released. (To Pothinus) Now off with you. You have lost your chance.

RUFIO (bluntly). Your Majesty has heard this before. You told it to Apollodorus last week, and he thought it was all your idea. (Caesar’s dignity collapses. Amused, he sits down again and gives Cleopatra a cheeky look, who is furious. Rufio calls out as before) Hey there, guard! Take the prisoner out. He’s free. (To Pothinus) Now get out of here. You’ve missed your chance.

POTHINUS (his temper overcoming his prudence). I will speak.

POTHINUS (his anger getting the better of his judgment). I will speak.

CAESAR (to Cleopatra). You see. Torture would not have wrung a word from him.

CAESAR (to Cleopatra). You see? No amount of torture would have forced him to say anything.

POTHINUS. Caesar: you have taught Cleopatra the arts by which the Romans govern the world.

POTHINUS. Caesar: you have shown Cleopatra the skills that the Romans use to control the world.

CAESAR. Alas! they cannot even govern themselves. What then?

CAESAR. Unfortunately, they can't even manage themselves. So what?

POTHINUS. What then? Are you so besotted with her beauty that you do not see that she is impatient to reign in Egypt alone, and that her heart is set on your departure?

POTHINUS. What’s going on? Are you so obsessed with her looks that you don’t realize she’s eager to rule Egypt by herself and wants you to leave?

CLEOPATRA (rising). Liar!

CLEOPATRA (rising). You're lying!

CAESAR (shocked). What! Protestations! Contradictions!

CAESAR (shocked). What! Complaints! Conflicts!

CLEOPATRA (ashamed, but trembling with suppressed rage). No. I do not deign to contradict. Let him talk. (She sits down again.)

CLEOPATRA (ashamed, but trembling with suppressed rage). No. I won’t stoop to argue. Let him speak. (She sits down again.)

POTHINUS. From her own lips I have heard it. You are to be her catspaw: you are to tear the crown from her brother’s head and set it on her own, delivering us all into her hand—delivering yourself also. And then Caesar can return to Rome, or depart through the gate of death, which is nearer and surer.

POTHINUS. I've heard it straight from her. You're going to be her pawn: you're going to take the crown from her brother's head and put it on hers, handing us all over to her—yourself included. And then Caesar can go back to Rome, or choose death, which is closer and more certain.

CAESAR (calmly). Well, my friend; and is not this very natural?

CAESAR (calmly). Well, my friend; isn't this completely normal?

POTHINUS (astonished). Natural! Then you do not resent treachery?

POTHINUS (astonished). Really? So you don’t mind betrayal?

CAESAR. Resent! O thou foolish Egyptian, what have I to do with resentment? Do I resent the wind when it chills me, or the night when it makes me stumble in the darkness? Shall I resent youth when it turns from age, and ambition when it turns from servitude? To tell me such a story as this is but to tell me that the sun will rise to-morrow.

CAESAR. Resent! Oh, you silly Egyptian, why should I feel resentment? Do I feel angry at the wind when it makes me cold, or at the night when I trip in the dark? Should I be resentful of youth when it leaves old age behind, or of ambition when it moves away from servitude? Telling me this story is just like saying the sun will rise tomorrow.

CLEOPATRA (unable to contain herself). But it is false—false. I swear it.

CLEOPATRA (unable to contain herself). But that’s not true—it's a lie. I swear it.

CAESAR. It is true, though you swore it a thousand times, and believed all you swore. (She is convulsed with emotion. To screen her, he rises and takes Pothinus to Rufio, saying) Come, Rufio: let us see Pothinus past the guard. I have a word to say to him. (Aside to them) We must give the Queen a moment to recover herself. (Aloud) Come. (He takes Pothinus and Rufio out with him, conversing with them meanwhile.) Tell your friends, Pothinus, that they must not think I am opposed to a reasonable settlement of the country’s affairs— (They pass out of hearing.)

CAESAR. It's true, even if you swore it a thousand times and really believed it. (She is shaking with emotion. To cover her, he stands up and takes Pothinus to Rufio, saying) Come on, Rufio: let's get Pothinus past the guards. I need to talk to him. (Aside to them) We should give the Queen a moment to pull herself together. (Aloud) Let's go. (He takes Pothinus and Rufio out with him, talking to them as they leave.) Tell your friends, Pothinus, that they shouldn't think I'm against a reasonable resolution of the country's issues— (They exit the scene.)

CLEOPATRA (in a stifled whisper). Ftatateeta, Ftatateeta.

CLEOPATRA (in a stifled whisper). Ftatateeta, Ftatateeta.

FTATATEETA (hurrying to her from the table and petting her). Peace, child: be comforted——

FTATATEETA (hurrying to her from the table and petting her). It's okay, sweetie: find some comfort——

CLEOPATRA (interrupting her). Can they hear us?

CLEOPATRA (interrupting her). Can they hear us?

FTATATEETA. No, dear heart, no.

FTATATEETA. No, sweetheart, no.

CLEOPATRA. Listen to me. If he leaves the Palace alive, never see my face again.

CLEOPATRA. Listen to me. If he leaves the Palace alive, don’t ever show your face to me again.

FTATATEETA. He? Poth——

FTATATEETA. He? Poth——

CLEOPATRA (striking her on the mouth). Strike his life out as I strike his name from your lips. Dash him down from the wall. Break him on the stones. Kill, kill, kill him.

CLEOPATRA (striking her on the mouth). Remove him from your life just like I remove his name from your lips. Smash him off the wall. Crush him on the ground. Kill, kill, kill him.

FTATATEETA (shewing all her teeth). The dog shall perish.

FTATATEETA (showing all her teeth). The dog will die.

CLEOPATRA. Fail in this, and you go out from before me forever.

CLEOPATRA. If you mess this up, you’re gone from my sight for good.

FTATATEETA (resolutely). So be it. You shall not see my face until his eyes are darkened.

FTATATEETA (determinedly). Fine, that’s how it will be. You won’t see my face until his eyes are shadowed.

Caesar comes back, with Apollodorus, exquisitely dressed, and Rufio.

Caesar returns, along with Apollodorus, who is dressed to impress, and Rufio.

CLEOPATRA (to Ftatateeta). Come soon—soon. (Ftatateeta turns her meaning eyes for a moment on her mistress; then goes grimly away past Ra and out. Cleopatra runs like a gazelle to Caesar.) So you have come back to me, Caesar. (Caressingly) I thought you were angry. Welcome, Apollodorus. (She gives him her hand to kiss, with her other arm about Caesar.)

CLEOPATRA (to Ftatateeta). Come quickly—quickly. (Ftatateeta gives her mistress a meaningful look for a moment; then walks away grimly past Ra and out. Cleopatra runs like a gazelle to Caesar.) So you’ve returned to me, Caesar. (Affectionately) I thought you were upset. Welcome, Apollodorus. (She extends her hand for him to kiss, with her other arm around Caesar.)

APOLLODORUS. Cleopatra grows more womanly beautiful from week to week.

APOLLODORUS. Cleopatra becomes more and more beautiful every week.

CLEOPATRA. Truth, Apollodorus?

CLEOPATRA. Is that true, Apollodorus?

APOLLODORUS. Far, far short of the truth! Friend Rufio threw a pearl into the sea: Caesar fished up a diamond.

APOLLODORUS. That's way off the mark! My friend Rufio tossed a pearl into the ocean: Caesar pulled up a diamond.

CAESAR. Caesar fished up a touch of rheumatism, my friend. Come: to dinner! to dinner! (They move towards the table.)

CAESAR. I've caught a bit of rheumatism, my friend. Come on: let's eat! to dinner! (They move towards the table.)

CLEOPATRA (skipping like a young fawn). Yes, to dinner. I have ordered such a dinner for you, Caesar!

CLEOPATRA (skipping like a young fawn). Yes, to dinner. I've planned an amazing dinner for you, Caesar!

CAESAR. Ay? What are we to have?

CAESAR. Yeah? What are we going to have?

CLEOPATRA. Peacocks’ brains.

CLEOPATRA. Peacock brains.

CAESAR (as if his mouth watered). Peacocks’ brains, Apollodorus!

CAESAR (as if he were drooling). Peacock brains, Apollodorus!

APOLLODORUS. Not for me. I prefer nightingales’ tongues. (He goes to one of the two covers set side by side.)

APOLLODORUS. Not for me. I prefer nightingales’ tongues. (He goes to one of the two covers set side by side.)

CLEOPATRA. Roast boar, Rufio!

CLEOPATRA. Roast pork, Rufio!

RUFIO (gluttonously). Good! (He goes to the seat next Apollodorus, on his left.)

RUFIO (greedily). Great! (He takes the seat next to Apollodorus, on his left.)

CAESAR (looking at his seat, which is at the end of the table, to Ra’s left hand). What has become of my leathern cushion?

CAESAR (looking at his seat, which is at the end of the table, to Ra’s left). What happened to my leather cushion?

CLEOPATRA (at the opposite end). I have got new ones for you.

CLEOPATRA (at the opposite end). I have some new ones for you.

THE MAJOR-DOMO. These cushions, Caesar, are of Maltese gauze, stuffed with rose leaves.

THE MAJOR-DOMO. These cushions, Caesar, are made of Maltese gauze and filled with rose leaves.

CAESAR. Rose leaves! Am I a caterpillar? (He throws the cushions away and seats himself on the leather mattress underneath.)

CAESAR. Rose petals! Am I a caterpillar? (He tosses the cushions aside and sits on the leather mattress beneath.)

CLEOPATRA. What a shame! My new cushions!

CLEOPATRA. What a bummer! My new cushions!

THE MAJOR-DOMO (at Caesar’s elbow). What shall we serve to whet Caesar’s appetite?

THE MAJOR-DOMO (at Caesar’s elbow). What should we serve to stimulate Caesar’s appetite?

CAESAR. What have you got?

CAESAR. What do you have?

THE MAJOR-DOMO. Sea hedgehogs, black and white sea acorns, sea nettles, beccaficoes, purple shellfish——

THE MAJOR-DOMO. Sea urchins, black and white sea acorns, jellyfish, roasted songbirds, purple shellfish——

CAESAR. Any oysters?

CAESAR. Got any oysters?

THE MAJOR-DOMO. Assuredly.

THE HOST. Absolutely.

CAESAR. British oysters?

CAESAR. British oysters?

THE MAJOR-DOMO (assenting). British oysters, Caesar.

THE MAJOR-DOMO (agreeing). British oysters, Caesar.

CAESAR. Oysters, then. (The Major-Domo signs to a slave at each order; and the slave goes out to execute it.) I have been in Britain—that western land of romance—the last piece of earth on the edge of the ocean that surrounds the world. I went there in search of its famous pearls. The British pearl was a fable; but in searching for it I found the British oyster.

CAESAR. Oysters, then. (The Major-Domo signals to a servant with each order; and the servant goes out to carry it out.) I’ve been to Britain—that western land of stories—the last piece of land on the edge of the ocean that surrounds the world. I went there looking for its famous pearls. The British pearl was a myth; but in searching for it, I found the British oyster.

APOLLODORUS. All posterity will bless you for it. (To the Major-Domo) Sea hedgehogs for me.

APOLLODORUS. Everyone in the future will appreciate you for this. (To the Major-Domo) Sea hedgehogs for me.

RUFIO. Is there nothing solid to begin with?

RUFIO. Is there nothing reliable to start with?

THE MAJOR-DOMO. Fieldfares with asparagus——

THE MAJOR-DOMO. Fieldfares and asparagus——

CLEOPATRA (interrupting). Fattened fowls! have some fattened fowls, Rufio.

CLEOPATRA (interrupting). Fattened chickens! Get some fattened chickens, Rufio.

RUFIO. Ay, that will do.

RUFIO. Yeah, that works.

CLEOPATRA (greedily). Fieldfares for me.

CLEOPATRA (greedily). I want fieldfares.

THE MAJOR-DOMO. Caesar will deign to choose his wine? Sicilian, Lesbian, Chian——

THE MAJOR-DOMO. Will Caesar choose his wine? Sicilian, Lesbian, Chian——

RUFIO (contemptuously). All Greek.

RUFIO (contemptuously). All Greek to me.

APOLLODORUS. Who would drink Roman wine when he could get Greek? Try the Lesbian, Caesar.

APOLLODORUS. Who would drink Roman wine when Greek wine is available? Go for the Lesbian, Caesar.

CAESAR. Bring me my barley water.

CAESAR. Bring me my barley water.

RUFIO (with intense disgust). Ugh! Bring me my Falernian. (The Falernian is presently brought to him.)

RUFIO (with intense disgust). Ugh! Bring me my Falernian. (The Falernian is currently brought to him.)

CLEOPATRA (pouting). It is waste of time giving you dinners, Caesar. My scullions would not condescend to your diet.

CLEOPATRA (pouting). It's a waste of time serving you dinners, Caesar. My kitchen staff wouldn't lower themselves to prepare your meals.

CAESAR (relenting). Well, well: let us try the Lesbian. (The Major-Domo fills Caesar’s goblet; then Cleopatra’s and Apollodorus’s.) But when I return to Rome, I will make laws against these extravagances. I will even get the laws carried out.

CAESAR (softening). Alright, alright: let’s give the Lesbian a shot. (The Major-Domo fills Caesar’s goblet; then Cleopatra’s and Apollodorus’s.) But when I get back to Rome, I’ll make laws against these excesses. I’ll even ensure that the laws are enforced.

CLEOPATRA (coaxingly). Never mind. To-day you are to be like other people: idle, luxurious, and kind. (She stretches her hand to him along the table.)

CLEOPATRA (coaxingly). Forget about everything. Today you’re going to be like everyone else: relaxed, indulgent, and nice. (She reaches her hand to him across the table.)

CAESAR. Well, for once I will sacrifice my comfort—(kissing her hand) there! (He takes a draught of wine.) Now are you satisfied?

CAESAR. Alright, for once I'll give up my comfort—(kissing her hand) there! (He takes a drink of wine.) Now, are you happy?

CLEOPATRA. And you no longer believe that I long for your departure for Rome?

CLEOPATRA. So you really don't think I want you to leave for Rome anymore?

CAESAR. I no longer believe anything. My brains are asleep. Besides, who knows whether I shall return to Rome?

CAESAR. I don’t believe anything anymore. My mind is blank. Plus, who knows if I’ll ever get back to Rome?

RUFIO (alarmed). How? Eh? What?

RUFIO (alarmed). How? Huh? What?

CAESAR. What has Rome to shew me that I have not seen already? One year of Rome is like another, except that I grow older, whilst the crowd in the Appian Way is always the same age.

CAESAR. What does Rome have to show me that I haven't seen before? One year in Rome is just like another, except I keep getting older, while the crowd on the Appian Way is always the same age.

APOLLODORUS. It is no better here in Egypt. The old men, when they are tired of life, say “We have seen everything except the source of the Nile.”

APOLLODORUS. It’s no better here in Egypt. The old men, when they’re tired of life, say “We’ve seen everything except the source of the Nile.”

CAESAR (his imagination catching fire). And why not see that? Cleopatra: will you come with me and track the flood to its cradle in the heart of the regions of mystery? Shall we leave Rome behind us—Rome, that has achieved greatness only to learn how greatness destroys nations of men who are not great! Shall I make you a new kingdom, and build you a holy city there in the great unknown?

CAESAR (his imagination ignited). And why not see that? Cleopatra: Will you join me and follow the river back to its source in the land of mystery? Shall we leave Rome behind—Rome, which has risen to power only to realize how power can ruin those who aren't powerful? Shall I create a new kingdom for you and build a sacred city in that vast unknown?

CLEOPATRA (rapturously). Yes, yes. You shall.

CLEOPATRA (excitedly). Yes, yes. You will.

RUFIO. Ay: now he will conquer Africa with two legions before we come to the roast boar.

RUFIO. Yeah: now he’ll conquer Africa with two legions before we get to the roast pig.

APOLLODORUS. Come: no scoffing, this is a noble scheme: in it Caesar is no longer merely the conquering soldier, but the creative poet-artist. Let us name the holy city, and consecrate it with Lesbian Wine.

APOLLODORUS. Come on: no mocking, this is a great plan: in this, Caesar is not just the victorious soldier, but the imaginative poet-artist. Let's name the sacred city and celebrate it with Lesbian Wine.

CAESAR. Cleopatra shall name it herself.

CAESAR. Cleopatra will name it herself.

CLEOPATRA. It shall be called Caesar’s Gift to his Beloved.

CLEOPATRA. It will be called Caesar’s Gift to his Beloved.

APOLLODORUS. No, no. Something vaster than that—something universal, like the starry firmament.

APOLLODORUS. No, no. Something bigger than that—something universal, like the starry sky.

CAESAR (prosaically). Why not simply The Cradle of the Nile?

CAESAR (plainly). Why not just call it The Cradle of the Nile?

CLEOPATRA. No: the Nile is my ancestor; and he is a god. Oh! I have thought of something. The Nile shall name it himself. Let us call upon him. (To the Major-Domo) Send for him. (The three men stare at one another; but the Major-Domo goes out as if he had received the most matter-of-fact order.) And (to the retinue) away with you all.

CLEOPATRA. No: the Nile is my ancestor, and he's a god. Oh! I've come up with an idea. The Nile will name it himself. Let's summon him. (To the Major-Domo) Go get him. (The three men look at each other in surprise, but the Major-Domo exits as if he received the most normal request.) And (to the retinue) you all can leave now.

The retinue withdraws, making obeisance.

The group departs, bowing.

A priest enters, carrying a miniature sphinx with a tiny tripod before it. A morsel of incense is smoking in the tripod. The priest comes to the table and places the image in the middle of it. The light begins to change to the magenta purple of the Egyptian sunset, as if the god had brought a strange colored shadow with him. The three men are determined not to be impressed; but they feel curious in spite of themselves.

A priest walks in, holding a small sphinx with a tiny tripod in front of it. A bit of incense is smoking in the tripod. The priest comes to the table and sets the image down in the center. The light starts to shift to the magenta purple of an Egyptian sunset, as if the god had brought a peculiar colored shadow with him. The three men are resolved not to be impressed, but they can't help feeling curious.

CAESAR. What hocus-pocus is this?

CAESAR. What kind of magic is this?

CLEOPATRA. You shall see. And it is not hocus-pocus. To do it properly, we should kill something to please him; but perhaps he will answer Caesar without that if we spill some wine to him.

CLEOPATRA. You'll see. And it's not just a trick. To do it right, we should sacrifice something to please him; but maybe he'll respond to Caesar even if we just pour out some wine for him.

APOLLODORUS (turning his head to look up over his shoulder at Ra). Why not appeal to our hawkheaded friend here?

APOLLODORUS (turning his head to look back at Ra). Why not ask our hawk-headed friend here?

CLEOPATRA (nervously). Sh! He will hear you and be angry.

CLEOPATRA (nervously). Shh! He'll hear you and get upset.

RUFIO (phlegmatically). The source of the Nile is out of his district, I expect.

RUFIO (calmly). I assume the source of the Nile is outside his area.

CLEOPATRA. No: I will have my city named by nobody but my dear little sphinx, because it was in its arms that Caesar found me asleep. (She languishes at Caesar; then turns curtly to the priest.) Go. I am a priestess, and have power to take your charge from you. (The priest makes a reverence and goes out.) Now let us call on the Nile all together. Perhaps he will rap on the table.

CLEOPATRA. No: I will have my city named by no one but my dear little sphinx, because it was in its arms that Caesar found me asleep. (She gazes longingly at Caesar; then turns abruptly to the priest.) Go. I am a priestess, and I have the authority to relieve you of your duty. (The priest nods and exits.) Now let’s all call on the Nile together. Maybe he’ll knock on the table.

CAESAR. What! Table rapping! Are such superstitions still believed in this year 707 of the Republic?

CAESAR. What? Table rapping! Do people still believe in such superstitions in this year 707 of the Republic?

CLEOPATRA. It is no superstition: our priests learn lots of things from the tables. Is it not so, Apollodorus?

CLEOPATRA. It's not superstition: our priests learn many things from the tables. Isn't that right, Apollodorus?

APOLLODORUS. Yes: I profess myself a converted man. When Cleopatra is priestess, Apollodorus is devotee. Propose the conjuration.

APOLLODORUS. Yes: I've changed my ways. When Cleopatra is the priestess, Apollodorus is her follower. Let's go ahead with the spell.

CLEOPATRA. You must say with me “Send us thy voice, Father Nile.”

CLEOPATRA. You have to say with me, “Send us your voice, Father Nile.”

ALL FOUR (holding their glasses together before the idol). Send us thy voice, Father Nile.

ALL FOUR (holding their glasses together before the idol). Send us your voice, Father Nile.

The death cry of a man in mortal terror and agony answers them. Appalled, the men set down their glasses, and listen. Silence. The purple deepens in the sky. Caesar, glancing at Cleopatra, catches her pouring out her wine before the god, with gleaming eyes, and mute assurances of gratitude and worship. Apollodorus springs up and runs to the edge of the roof to peer down and listen.

The desperate scream of a man in intense fear and pain echoes back to them. Shocked, the men put down their glasses and pay attention. Silence. The sky darkens to a deeper purple. Caesar, looking at Cleopatra, sees her pouring out her wine before the god, her eyes shining with gratitude and devotion. Apollodorus jumps up and rushes to the edge of the roof to look down and listen.

CAESAR (looking piercingly at Cleopatra). What was that?

CAESAR (gazing intently at Cleopatra). What did you just say?

CLEOPATRA (petulantly). Nothing. They are beating some slave.

CLEOPATRA (whining). Nothing. They’re just punishing some servant.

CAESAR. Nothing!

CAESAR. None!

RUFIO. A man with a knife in him, I’ll swear.

RUFIO. I’m sure he’s a man with a knife in him.

CAESAR (rising). A murder!

CAESAR (standing up). A murder!

APOLLODORUS (at the back, waving his hand for silence). S-sh! Silence. Did you hear that?

APOLLODORUS (at the back, waving his hand for silence). Shh! Quiet. Did you hear that?

CAESAR. Another cry?

CAESAR. Another shout?

APOLLODORUS (returning to the table). No, a thud. Something fell on the beach, I think.

APOLLODORUS (returning to the table). No, it sounded like a thud. I think something fell on the beach.

RUFIO (grimly, as he rises). Something with bones in it, eh?

RUFIO (sternly, as he stands up). Something with bones in it, huh?

CAESAR (shuddering). Hush, hush, Rufio. (He leaves the table and returns to the colonnade: Rufio following at his left elbow, and Apollodorus at the other side.)

CAESAR (shuddering). Quiet, quiet, Rufio. (He gets up from the table and heads back to the colonnade: Rufio follows on his left, and Apollodorus on his right.)

CLEOPATRA (still in her place at the table). Will you leave me, Caesar? Apollodorus: are you going?

CLEOPATRA (still at the table). Are you going to leave me, Caesar? Apollodorus: Are you leaving?

APOLLODORUS. Faith, dearest Queen, my appetite is gone.

APOLLODORUS. Honestly, my dear Queen, I've lost my appetite.

CAESAR. Go down to the courtyard, Apollodorus; and find out what has happened.

CAESAR. Go down to the courtyard, Apollodorus; and see what’s going on.

Apollodorus nods and goes out, making for the staircase by which Rufio ascended.

Apollodorus nods and leaves, heading toward the staircase that Rufio took to go up.

CLEOPATRA. Your soldiers have killed somebody, perhaps. What does it matter?

CLEOPATRA. Your soldiers might have killed someone. So what?

The murmur of a crowd rises from the beach below. Caesar and Rufio look at one another.

The chatter of a crowd flows up from the beach below. Caesar and Rufio exchange glances.

CAESAR. This must be seen to. (He is about to follow Apollodorus when Rufio stops him with a hand on his arm as Ftatateeta comes back by the far end of the roof, with dragging steps, a drowsy satiety in her eyes and in the corners of the bloodhound lips. For a moment Caesar suspects that she is drunk with wine. Not so Rufio: he knows well the red vintage that has inebriated her.)

CAESAR. This needs to be addressed. (He is about to follow Apollodorus when Rufio stops him with a hand on his arm as Ftatateeta returns at the far end of the roof, dragging her steps, with a hazy satisfaction in her eyes and in the corners of her bloodhound-like lips. For a moment, Caesar wonders if she is drunk from wine. Not Rufio: he knows well the red wine that has intoxicated her.)

RUFIO (in a low tone). There is some mischief between those two.

RUFIO (in a low tone). There's some trouble brewing between those two.

FTATATEETA. The Queen looks again on the face of her servant.

FTATATEETA. The Queen looks once more at her servant's face.

Cleopatra looks at her for a moment with an exultant reflection of her murderous expression. Then she flings her arms round her; kisses her repeatedly and savagely; and tears off her jewels and heaps them on her. The two men turn from the spectacle to look at one another. Ftatateeta drags herself sleepily to the altar; kneels before Ra; and remains there in prayer. Caesar goes to Cleopatra, leaving Rufio in the colonnade.

Cleopatra gazes at her for a moment, her face reflecting a triumphant and deadly look. Then she wraps her arms around her, kisses her fiercely and repeatedly, and rips off her jewels, scattering them over her. The two men turn from the scene to exchange glances. Ftatateeta wearily makes her way to the altar, kneels before Ra, and stays there in prayer. Caesar approaches Cleopatra, leaving Rufio in the colonnade.

CAESAR (with searching earnestness). Cleopatra: what has happened?

CAESAR (with searching earnestness). Cleopatra: what’s going on?

CLEOPATRA (in mortal dread of him, but with her utmost cajolery). Nothing, dearest Caesar. (With sickly sweetness, her voice almost failing) Nothing. I am innocent. (She approaches him affectionately) Dear Caesar: are you angry with me? Why do you look at me so? I have been here with you all the time. How can I know what has happened?

CLEOPATRA (terrified of him, but trying her best to charm). Nothing, my dearest Caesar. (With an artificial sweetness, her voice nearly trembling) Nothing. I’m innocent. (She moves closer to him affectionately) Dear Caesar: are you mad at me? Why are you looking at me like that? I’ve been here with you the whole time. How could I know what’s happened?

CAESAR (reflectively). That is true.

CAESAR (reflectively). That's true.

CLEOPATRA (greatly relieved, trying to caress him). Of course it is true. (He does not respond to the caress.) You know it is true, Rufio.

CLEOPATRA (greatly relieved, trying to caress him). Of course it's true. (He does not respond to the caress.) You know it's true, Rufio.

The murmur without suddenly swells to a roar and subsides.

The quiet sound suddenly grows into a loud roar and then fades away.

RUFIO. I shall know presently. (He makes for the altar in the burly trot that serves him for a stride, and touches Ftatateeta on the shoulder.) Now, mistress: I shall want you. (He orders her, with a gesture, to go before him.)

RUFIO. I'll find out soon. (He heads to the altar with a heavy-footed walk and taps Ftatateeta on the shoulder.) Now, ma'am: I need you. (He signals for her to go ahead of him.)

FTATATEETA (rising and glowering at him). My place is with the Queen.

FTATATEETA (rising and glaring at him). I belong with the Queen.

CLEOPATRA. She has done no harm, Rufio.

CLEOPATRA. She hasn't done anything wrong, Rufio.

CAESAR (to Rufio). Let her stay.

CAESAR (to Rufio). Let her stay.

RUFIO (sitting down on the altar). Very well. Then my place is here too; and you can see what is the matter for yourself. The city is in a pretty uproar, it seems.

RUFIO (sitting down on the altar). Alright, then I’ll sit here too; and you can see what’s going on for yourself. The city is in quite a mess, it looks like.

CAESAR (with grave displeasure). Rufio: there is a time for obedience.

CAESAR (with serious displeasure). Rufio: there’s a time to follow orders.

RUFIO. And there is a time for obstinacy. (He folds his arms doggedly.)

RUFIO. And there’s a time to be stubborn. (He crosses his arms defiantly.)

CAESAR (to Cleopatra). Send her away.

CAESAR (to Cleopatra). Get her out of here.

CLEOPATRA (whining in her eagerness to propitiate him). Yes, I will. I will do whatever you ask me, Caesar, always, because I love you. Ftatateeta: go away.

CLEOPATRA (whining in her eagerness to please him). Yes, I will. I’ll do whatever you ask me, Caesar, always, because I love you. Ftatateeta: go away.

FTATATEETA. The Queen’s word is my will. I shall be at hand for the Queen’s call. (She goes out past Ra, as she came.)

FTATATEETA. The Queen's word is my command. I will be ready for the Queen's summons. (She exits past Ra, just as she arrived.)

RUFIO (following her). Remember, Caesar, your bodyguard also is within call. (He follows her out.)

RUFIO (following her). Remember, Caesar, your bodyguard is also available. (He follows her out.)

Cleopatra, presuming upon Caesar’s submission to Rufio, leaves the table and sits down on the bench in the colonnade.

Cleopatra, confident in Caesar’s submission to Rufio, leaves the table and sits down on the bench in the colonnade.

CLEOPATRA. Why do you allow Rufio to treat you so? You should teach him his place.

CLEOPATRA. Why do you let Rufio treat you like that? You should show him who’s boss.

CAESAR. Teach him to be my enemy, and to hide his thoughts from me as you are now hiding yours.

CAESAR. Show him how to be my enemy and to keep his thoughts from me the way you’re doing now.

CLEOPATRA (her fears returning). Why do you say that, Caesar? Indeed, indeed, I am not hiding anything. You are wrong to treat me like this. (She stifles a sob.) I am only a child; and you turn into stone because you think some one has been killed. I cannot bear it. (She purposely breaks down and weeps. He looks at her with profound sadness and complete coldness. She looks up to see what effect she is producing. Seeing that he is unmoved, she sits up, pretending to struggle with her emotion and to put it bravely away.) But there: I know you hate tears: you shall not be troubled with them. I know you are not angry, but only sad; only I am so silly, I cannot help being hurt when you speak coldly. Of course you are quite right: it is dreadful to think of anyone being killed or even hurt; and I hope nothing really serious has— (Her voice dies away under his contemptuous penetration.)

CLEOPATRA (her fears returning). Why do you say that, Caesar? Honestly, I’m not hiding anything. It's wrong of you to treat me this way. (She stifles a sob.) I'm just a child; and you go cold as stone just because you think someone has been killed. I can't stand it. (She purposely breaks down and weeps. He looks at her with deep sadness and complete coldness. She looks up to see how he’s reacting. Realizing he’s unmoved, she sits up, pretending to struggle with her emotions and to put on a brave face.) But there you go: I know you don’t like tears, so I won’t bother you with them. I know you’re not angry, just sad; it’s just that I'm so foolish, I can't help feeling hurt when you talk to me so coldly. Of course, you're right: it's awful to think about anyone being killed or even hurt; and I hope nothing truly serious has— (Her voice fades away under his contemptuous gaze.)

CAESAR. What has frightened you into this? What have you done? (A trumpet sounds on the beach below.) Aha! That sounds like the answer.

CAESAR. What has scared you into this? What have you done? (A trumpet sounds on the beach below.) Aha! That sounds like the answer.

CLEOPATRA (sinking back trembling on the bench and covering her face with her hands). I have not betrayed you, Caesar: I swear it.

CLEOPATRA (sinking back trembling on the bench and covering her face with her hands). I haven't betrayed you, Caesar: I promise.

CAESAR. I know that. I have not trusted you. (He turns from her, and is about to go out when Apollodorus and Britannus drag in Lucius Septimius to him. Rufio follows. Caesar shudders.) Again, Pompey’s murderer!

CAESAR. I know that. I never trusted you. (He turns away from her, about to leave when Apollodorus and Britannus pull in Lucius Septimius. Rufio follows. Caesar shudders.) Again, the killer of Pompey!

RUFIO. The town has gone mad, I think. They are for tearing the palace down and driving us into the sea straight away. We laid hold of this renegade in clearing them out of the courtyard.

RUFIO. I think the town has lost its mind. They want to tear the palace down and throw us into the sea right away. We caught this traitor while chasing them out of the courtyard.

CAESAR. Release him. (They let go his arms.) What has offended the citizens, Lucius Septimius?

CAESAR. Let him go. (They release his arms.) What has upset the citizens, Lucius Septimius?

LUCIUS. What did you expect, Caesar? Pothinus was a favorite of theirs.

LUCIUS. What did you expect, Caesar? Pothinus was one of their favorites.

CAESAR. What has happened to Pothinus? I set him free, here, not half an hour ago. Did they not pass him out?

CAESAR. What happened to Pothinus? I just set him free right here, not even half an hour ago. Didn't they let him out?

LUCIUS. Ay, through the gallery arch sixty feet above ground, with three inches of steel in his ribs. He is as dead as Pompey. We are quits now, as to killing—you and I.

LUCIUS. Yeah, through the gallery arch sixty feet up, with three inches of steel in his side. He’s as dead as Pompey. We're even now when it comes to killing—you and me.

CAESAR. (shocked). Assassinated!—our prisoner, our guest! (He turns reproachfully on Rufio) Rufio——

CAESAR. (shocked). Assassinated!—our prisoner, our guest! (He turns reproachfully on Rufio) Rufio——

RUFIO (emphatically—anticipating the question). Whoever did it was a wise man and a friend of yours (Cleopatra is qreatly emboldened); but none of us had a hand in it. So it is no use to frown at me. (Caesar turns and looks at Cleopatra.)

RUFIO (emphatically—anticipating the question). Whoever did it was smart and a friend of yours (Cleopatra is greatly emboldened); but none of us were involved. So there's no point in giving me that look. (Caesar turns and looks at Cleopatra.)

CLEOPATRA (violently—rising). He was slain by order of the Queen of Egypt. I am not Julius Caesar the dreamer, who allows every slave to insult him. Rufio has said I did well: now the others shall judge me too. (She turns to the others.) This Pothinus sought to make me conspire with him to betray Caesar to Achillas and Ptolemy. I refused; and he cursed me and came privily to Caesar to accuse me of his own treachery. I caught him in the act; and he insulted me—me, the Queen! to my face. Caesar would not avenge me: he spoke him fair and set him free. Was I right to avenge myself? Speak, Lucius.

CLEOPATRA (violently—rising). He was killed on the orders of the Queen of Egypt. I am not Julius Caesar, the dreamer, who lets every slave insult him. Rufio said I did well: now the others will judge me too. (She turns to the others.) This Pothinus tried to make me conspire with him to betray Caesar to Achillas and Ptolemy. I refused; and he cursed me and secretly went to Caesar to accuse me of his own betrayal. I caught him in the act, and he insulted me—me, the Queen!—to my face. Caesar wouldn’t avenge me: he spoke kindly to him and set him free. Was I right to take revenge? Speak, Lucius.

LUCIUS. I do not gainsay it. But you will get little thanks from Caesar for it.

LUCIUS. I won't argue that. But you won't get much appreciation from Caesar for it.

CLEOPATRA. Speak, Apollodorus. Was I wrong?

CLEOPATRA. Go ahead, Apollodorus. Was I mistaken?

APOLLODORUS. I have only one word of blame, most beautiful. You should have called upon me, your knight; and in fair duel I should have slain the slanderer.

APOLLODORUS. I only have one thing to criticize, my beautiful one. You should have called on me, your knight; and in a fair duel, I would have defeated the liar.

CLEOPATRA (passionately). I will be judged by your very slave, Caesar. Britannus: speak. Was I wrong?

CLEOPATRA (passionately). You'll let your own servant judge me, Caesar? Britannus: Go ahead, tell me. Was I wrong?

BRITANNUS. Were treachery, falsehood, and disloyalty left unpunished, society must become like an arena full of wild beasts, tearing one another to pieces. Caesar is in the wrong.

BRITANNUS. If treachery, lies, and disloyalty go unpunished, society will turn into an arena filled with wild beasts, ripping each other apart. Caesar is in the wrong.

CAESAR (with quiet bitterness). And so the verdict is against me, it seems.

CAESAR (with quiet bitterness). So, it looks like the verdict is against me.

CLEOPATRA (vehemently). Listen to me, Caesar. If one man in all Alexandria can be found to say that I did wrong, I swear to have myself crucified on the door of the palace by my own slaves.

CLEOPATRA (intensely). Listen to me, Caesar. If you can find even one person in all of Alexandria who says I did something wrong, I swear I will have my slaves crucify me on the palace door.

CAESAR. If one man in all the world can be found, now or forever, to know that you did wrong, that man will have either to conquer the world as I have, or be crucified by it. (The uproar in the streets again reaches them.) Do you hear? These knockers at your gate are also believers in vengeance and in stabbing. You have slain their leader: it is right that they shall slay you. If you doubt it, ask your four counselors here. And then in the name of that right (He emphasizes the word with great scorn.) shall I not slay them for murdering their Queen, and be slain in my turn by their countrymen as the invader of their fatherland? Can Rome do less then than slay these slayers too, to shew the world how Rome avenges her sons and her honor? And so, to the end of history, murder shall breed murder, always in the name of right and honor and peace, until the gods are tired of blood and create a race that can understand. (Fierce uproar. Cleopatra becomes white with terror.) Hearken, you who must not be insulted. Go near enough to catch their words: you will find them bitterer than the tongue of Pothinus. (Loftily wrapping himself up in an impenetrable dignity.) Let the Queen of Egypt now give her orders for vengeance, and take her measures for defence; for she has renounced Caesar. (He turns to go.)

CAESAR. If there’s one person in the world who can prove you did wrong, that person will either have to conquer the world like I have or be punished for it. (The uproar in the streets rises again.) Do you hear that? The people banging at your gate also believe in revenge and stabbing. You killed their leader: it’s only right they want to kill you. If you doubt it, ask your four advisors here. And then, in the name of that right (He emphasizes the word with great scorn.), should I not kill them for murdering their Queen and be killed in turn by their countrymen as the invader of their homeland? Can Rome do any less than to kill these murderers too, to show the world how it avenges its sons and its honor? And so, throughout history, murder will lead to more murder, always in the name of right, honor, and peace, until the gods are fed up with bloodshed and create a race that can understand. (Fierce uproar. Cleopatra turns pale with fear.) Listen, you who cannot be insulted. Get close enough to hear their words: you’ll find them more bitter than Pothinus’s tongue. (Loftily wrapping himself in an impenetrable dignity.) Let the Queen of Egypt now give her orders for revenge and take her measures for defense; for she has turned her back on Caesar. (He turns to leave.)

CLEOPATRA (terrified, running to him and falling on her knees). You will not desert me, Caesar. You will defend the palace.

CLEOPATRA (terrified, running to him and falling on her knees). You won't leave me, Caesar. You'll protect the palace.

CAESAR. You have taken the powers of life and death upon you. I am only a dreamer.

CAESAR. You've taken control over life and death. I'm just a dreamer.

CLEOPATRA. But they will kill me.

CLEOPATRA. But they'll murder me.

CAESAR. And why not?

CAESAR. Why not?

CLEOPATRA. In pity——

CLEOPATRA. Out of pity——

CAESAR. Pity! What! Has it come to this so suddenly, that nothing can save you now but pity? Did it save Pothinus?

CAESAR. What a shame! Is it really that we’ve arrived at this point so quickly, that all that can save you now is pity? Did it save Pothinus?

She rises, wringing her hands, and goes back to the bench in despair. Apollodorus shews his sympathy with her by quietly posting himself behind the bench. The sky has by this time become the most vivid purple, and soon begins to change to a glowing pale orange, against which the colonnade and the great image shew darklier and darklier.

She stands up, nervously wringing her hands, and returns to the bench, feeling hopeless. Apollodorus shows his support by quietly positioning himself behind the bench. By this point, the sky has turned a vibrant purple, and soon starts shifting to a soft pale orange, against which the colonnade and the large statue appear darker and darker.

RUFIO. Caesar: enough of preaching. The enemy is at the gate.

RUFIO. Caesar: stop with the speeches. The enemy is at the gate.

CAESAR (turning on him and giving way to his wrath). Ay; and what has held him baffled at the gate all these months? Was it my folly, as you deem it, or your wisdom? In this Egyptian Red Sea of blood, whose hand has held all your heads above the waves? (Turning on Cleopatra) And yet, when Caesar says to such an one, “Friend, go free,” you, clinging for your little life to my sword, dare steal out and stab him in the back? And you, soldiers and gentlemen, and honest servants as you forget that you are, applaud this assassination, and say “Caesar is in the wrong.” By the gods, I am tempted to open my hand and let you all sink into the flood.

CAESAR (turning to him, filled with anger). Yes; and what has kept him stuck at the gate all these months? Was it my foolishness, as you see it, or your cleverness? In this bloody Egyptian Red Sea, who has kept your heads above water? (Turning to Cleopatra) And yet, when Caesar tells someone, “Friend, go free,” you, clinging to my sword for your life, dare to sneak out and stab him in the back? And you, soldiers and gentlemen, and the honest servants you forget you are, applaud this murder and say “Caesar is in the wrong.” By the gods, I’m tempted to open my hand and let you all drown in the flood.

CLEOPATRA (with a ray of cunning hope). But, Caesar, if you do, you will perish yourself.

CLEOPATRA (with a glimmer of clever hope). But, Caesar, if you do this, you'll end up doomed yourself.

Caesar’s eyes blaze.

Caesar's eyes are blazing.

RUFIO (greatly alarmed). Now, by great Jove, you filthy little Egyptian rat, that is the very word to make him walk out alone into the city and leave us here to be cut to pieces. (Desperately, to Caesar) Will you desert us because we are a parcel of fools? I mean no harm by killing: I do it as a dog kills a cat, by instinct. We are all dogs at your heels; but we have served you faithfully.

RUFIO (greatly alarmed). Seriously, you little filthy Egyptian rat, that’s exactly the kind of thing that will make him head out into the city by himself and leave us here to get slaughtered. (Desperately, to Caesar) Are you really going to abandon us just because we’re a bunch of idiots? I don’t mean any harm by killing; I do it like a dog kills a cat, just instinctively. We're all just dogs following you; but we’ve been loyal to you.

CAESAR (relenting). Alas, Rufio, my son, my son: as dogs we are like to perish now in the streets.

CAESAR (softening). Oh, Rufio, my son, my son: we are in danger of perishing like dogs in the streets now.

APOLLODORUS (at his post behind Cleopatra’s seat). Caesar, what you say has an Olympian ring in it: it must be right; for it is fine art. But I am still on the side of Cleopatra. If we must die, she shall not want the devotion of a man’s heart nor the strength of a man’s arm.

APOLLODORUS (at his post behind Cleopatra’s seat). Caesar, what you’re saying sounds grand and powerful: it has to be true because it’s beautifully expressed. But I still stand with Cleopatra. If we have to die, she won’t lack for a man’s heart or a man’s strength.

CLEOPATRA (sobbing). But I don’t want to die.

CLEOPATRA (sobbing). But I don't want to die.

CAESAR (sadly). Oh, ignoble, ignoble!

CAESAR (sadly). Oh, disgraceful, disgraceful!

LUCIUS (coming forward between Caesar and Cleopatra). Hearken to me, Caesar. It may be ignoble; but I also mean to live as long as I can.

LUCIUS (stepping forward between Caesar and Cleopatra). Listen to me, Caesar. It might be unworthy, but I also want to live for as long as I can.

CAESAR. Well, my friend, you are likely to outlive Caesar. Is it any magic of mine, think you, that has kept your army and this whole city at bay for so long? Yesterday, what quarrel had they with me that they should risk their lives against me? But to-day we have flung them down their hero, murdered; and now every man of them is set upon clearing out this nest of assassins—for such we are and no more. Take courage then; and sharpen your sword. Pompey’s head has fallen; and Caesar’s head is ripe.

CAESAR. Well, my friend, you’re probably going to outlive Caesar. Do you really think it’s some magic of mine that has kept your army and this entire city at bay for so long? Yesterday, what reason did they have to fight me that they would risk their lives? But today we’ve thrown down their hero, murdered him; and now every one of them is determined to wipe out this group of assassins—because that’s all we are, nothing more. So take heart; and sharpen your sword. Pompey’s head has fallen; and Caesar’s head is next.

APOLLODORUS. Does Caesar despair?

APOLLODORUS. Is Caesar in despair?

CAESAR (with infinite pride). He who has never hoped can never despair. Caesar, in good or bad fortune, looks his fate in the face.

CAESAR (with immense pride). Someone who has never had hope can never feel despair. Caesar, whether in good or bad luck, confronts his destiny head-on.

LUCIUS. Look it in the face, then; and it will smile as it always has on Caesar.

LUCIUS. Face it head on, and it will smile just like it always has for Caesar.

CAESAR (with involuntary haughtiness). Do you presume to encourage me?

CAESAR (with unintentional arrogance). Are you trying to motivate me?

LUCIUS. I offer you my services. I will change sides if you will have me.

LUCIUS. I’m here to help. I’ll switch sides if you want me to.

CAESAR (suddenly coming down to earth again, and looking sharply at him, divining that there is something behind the offer). What! At this point?

CAESAR (suddenly coming back to reality and looking at him intently, sensing that there's something more to the offer). What! Now?

LUCIUS (firmly). At this point.

LUCIUS (firmly). Right now.

RUFIO. Do you suppose Caesar is mad, to trust you?

RUFIO. Do you really think Caesar is crazy for trusting you?

LUCIUS. I do not ask him to trust me until he is victorious. I ask for my life, and for a command in Caesar’s army. And since Caesar is a fair dealer, I will pay in advance.

LUCIUS. I'm not asking him to trust me until he wins. I want my life and a position in Caesar’s army. And since Caesar is fair, I’ll pay upfront.

CAESAR. Pay! How?

CAESAR. Pay! How?

LUCIUS. With a piece of good news for you.

LUCIUS. I have some good news for you.

Caesar divines the news in a flash.

Caesar figures out the news in an instant.

RUFIO. What news?

RUFIO. What's the news?

CAESAR (with an elate and buoyant energy which makes Cleopatra sit up and stare). What news! What news, did you say, my son Rufio? The relief has arrived: what other news remains for us? Is it not so, Lucius Septimius? Mithridates of Pergamos is on the march.

CAESAR (with a lively and upbeat energy that makes Cleopatra take notice). What news! What news, did you say, my son Rufio? The reinforcements have arrived: what other news do we have? Isn't that right, Lucius Septimius? Mithridates of Pergamos is on the move.

LUCIUS. He has taken Pelusium.

LUCIUS. He has captured Pelusium.

CAESAR (delighted). Lucius Septimius: you are henceforth my officer. Rufio: the Egyptians must have sent every soldier from the city to prevent Mithridates crossing the Nile. There is nothing in the streets now but mob—mob!

CAESAR (delighted). Lucius Septimius: you are now my officer. Rufio: the Egyptians must have sent every soldier from the city to stop Mithridates from crossing the Nile. There’s nothing in the streets now but a crowd—just a crowd!

LUCIUS. It is so. Mithridates is marching by the great road to Memphis to cross above the Delta. Achillas will fight him there.

LUCIUS. That's right. Mithridates is heading down the main road to Memphis to cross over the Delta. Achillas will face him there.

CAESAR (all audacity). Achillas shall fight Caesar there. See, Rufio. (He runs to the table; snatches a napkin; and draws a plan on it with his finger dipped in wine, whilst Rufio and Lucius Septimius crowd about him to watch, all looking closely, for the light is now almost gone.) Here is the palace (pointing to his plan): here is the theatre. You (to Rufio) take twenty men and pretend to go by that street (pointing it out); and whilst they are stoning you, out go the cohorts by this and this. My streets are right, are they, Lucius?

CAESAR (all audacity). Achillas will fight Caesar there. Look, Rufio. (He rushes to the table, grabs a napkin, and draws a plan on it with his finger dipped in wine, while Rufio and Lucius Septimius gather around him to watch, all straining to see as the light is fading.) Here’s the palace (pointing to his plan): here’s the theatre. You (to Rufio) take twenty men and pretend to go down that street (pointing it out); and while they are throwing stones at you, the cohorts will come out by this and this. My streets are correct, right, Lucius?

LUCIUS. Ay, that is the fig market——

LUCIUS. Yeah, that's the fig market—

CAESAR (too much excited to listen to him). I saw them the day we arrived. Good! (He throws the napkin on the table and comes down again into the colonnade.) Away, Britannus: tell Petronius that within an hour half our forces must take ship for the western lake. See to my horse and armor. (Britannus runs out.) With the rest, I shall march round the lake and up the Nile to meet Mithridates. Away, Lucius; and give the word.

CAESAR (too excited to listen to him). I saw them the day we got here. Great! (He throws the napkin on the table and walks back into the colonnade.) Go, Britannus: tell Petronius that in an hour half our troops need to board the ships for the western lake. Take care of my horse and armor. (Britannus runs out.) With the rest, I will march around the lake and up the Nile to meet Mithridates. Go, Lucius; and spread the word.

Lucius hurries out after Britannus.

Lucius rushes out after Britannus.

RUFIO. Come: this is something like business.

RUFIO. Come on: this is kind of like business.

CAESAR (buoyantly). Is it not, my only son? (He claps his hands. The slaves hurry in to the table.) No more of this mawkish reveling: away with all this stuff: shut it out of my sight and be off with you. (The slaves begin to remove the table; and the curtains are drawn, shutting in the colonnade.) You understand about the streets, Rufio?

CAESAR (cheerfully). Isn't it so, my only son? (He claps his hands. The slaves rush in to the table.) Enough of this sentimental partying: get rid of all this nonsense: take it out of my sight and go on your way. (The slaves start to clear the table; the curtains are drawn, closing off the colonnade.) Do you understand what's going on in the streets, Rufio?

RUFIO. Ay, I think I do. I will get through them, at all events.

RUFIO. Yeah, I think I do. I'll get through them, no matter what.

The bucina sounds busily in the courtyard beneath.

The horn plays actively in the courtyard below.

CAESAR. Come, then: we must talk to the troops and hearten them. You down to the beach: I to the courtyard. (He makes for the staircase.)

CAESAR. Alright, let’s go: we need to speak to the soldiers and boost their spirits. You head to the beach; I’ll go to the courtyard. (He walks towards the staircase.)

CLEOPATRA (rising from her seat, where she has been quite neglected all this time, and stretching out her hands timidly to him). Caesar.

CLEOPATRA (standing up from her seat, where she has been overlooked this entire time, and reaching out her hands shyly to him). Caesar.

CAESAR (turning). Eh?

CAESAR (turning). Huh?

CLEOPATRA. Have you forgotten me?

CLEOPATRA. Did you forget me?

CAESAR. (indulgently). I am busy now, my child, busy. When I return your affairs shall be settled. Farewell; and be good and patient.

CAESAR. (indulgently). I'm busy right now, my child, really busy. When I get back, we'll take care of your matters. Goodbye, and be good and patient.

He goes, preoccupied and quite indifferent. She stands with clenched fists, in speechless rage and humiliation.

He walks away, distracted and completely unconcerned. She stands there with her fists clenched, overwhelmed with silent anger and humiliation.

RUFIO. That game is played and lost, Cleopatra. The woman always gets the worst of it.

RUFIO. That game is over and lost, Cleopatra. The woman always ends up suffering the most.

CLEOPATRA (haughtily). Go. Follow your master.

CLEOPATRA (arrogantly). Go. Follow your leader.

RUFIO (in her ear, with rough familiarity). A word first. Tell your executioner that if Pothinus had been properly killed—in the throat—he would not have called out. Your man bungled his work.

RUFIO (in her ear, with rough familiarity). First, let me say this: tell your executioner that if Pothinus had been killed properly—in the throat—he wouldn't have shouted. Your guy messed up the job.

CLEOPATRA (enigmatically). How do you know it was a man?

CLEOPATRA (enigmatically). How can you tell it was a man?

RUFIO (startled, and puzzled). It was not you: you were with us when it happened. (She turns her back scornfully on him. He shakes his head, and draws the curtains to go out. It is now a magnificent moonlit night. The table has been removed. Ftatateeta is seen in the light of the moon and stars, again in prayer before the white altar-stone of Ra. Rufio starts; closes the curtains again softly; and says in a low voice to Cleopatra) Was it she? With her own hand?

RUFIO (startled and confused). It wasn’t you: you were with us when it happened. (She turns her back on him with disdain. He shakes his head, draws the curtains to leave. It's now a beautiful moonlit night. The table has been taken away. Ftatateeta is visible in the moonlight and stars, praying once more before the white altar stone of Ra. Rufio jumps; gently closes the curtains again; and whispers to Cleopatra) Was it her? With her own hand?

CLEOPATRA (threateningly). Whoever it was, let my enemies beware of her. Look to it, Rufio, you who dare make the Queen of Egypt a fool before Caesar.

CLEOPATRA (threateningly). Whoever it was, my enemies better watch out for her. Be warned, Rufio, you who would dare make the Queen of Egypt look foolish in front of Caesar.

RUFIO (looking grimly at her). I will look to it, Cleopatra. (He nods in confirmation of the promise, and slips out through the curtains, loosening his sword in its sheath as he goes.)

RUFIO (looking seriously at her). I’ll take care of it, Cleopatra. (He nods to confirm the promise and slips out through the curtains, loosening his sword in its sheath as he leaves.)

ROMAN SOLDIERS (in the courtyard below). Hail, Caesar! Hail, hail!

ROMAN SOLDIERS (in the courtyard below). Hail, Caesar! Hail, hail!

Cleopatra listens. The bucina sounds again, followed by several trumpets.

Cleopatra listens. The bucina sounds again, followed by several trumpets.

CLEOPATRA (wringing her hands and calling). Ftatateeta. Ftatateeta. It is dark; and I am alone. Come to me. (Silence.) Ftatateeta. (Louder.) Ftatateeta. (Silence. In a panic she snatches the cord and pulls the curtains apart.)

CLEOPATRA (wringing her hands and calling). Ftatateeta. Ftatateeta. It’s dark, and I’m alone. Come to me. (Silence.) Ftatateeta. (Louder.) Ftatateeta. (Silence. In a panic, she grabs the cord and pulls the curtains apart.)

Ftatateeta is lying dead on the altar of Ra, with her throat cut. Her blood deluges the white stone.

Ftatateeta is lying dead on the altar of Ra, with her throat cut. Her blood saturates the white stone.





ACT V

High noon. Festival and military pageant on the esplanade before the palace. In the east harbor Caesar’s galley, so gorgeously decorated that it seems to be rigged with flowers, is along-side the quay, close to the steps Apollodorus descended when he embarked with the carpet. A Roman guard is posted there in charge of a gangway, whence a red floorcloth is laid down the middle of the esplanade, turning off to the north opposite the central gate in the palace front, which shuts in the esplanade on the south side. The broad steps of the gate, crowded with Cleopatra’s ladies, all in their gayest attire, are like a flower garden. The façade is lined by her guard, officered by the same gallants to whom Bel Affris announced the coming of Caesar six months before in the old palace on the Syrian border. The north side is lined by Roman soldiers, with the townsfolk on tiptoe behind them, peering over their heads at the cleared esplanade, in which the officers stroll about, chatting. Among these are Belzanor and the Persian; also the Centurion, vinewood cudgel in hand, battle worn, thick-booted, and much outshone, both socially and decoratively, by the Egyptian officers.

High noon. A festival and military parade on the esplanade in front of the palace. In the eastern harbor, Caesar’s ship, so beautifully decorated it looks like it's adorned with flowers, is docked at the quay, near the steps where Apollodorus came down when he boarded with the carpet. A Roman guard is stationed there, overseeing a gangway, from which a red carpet is laid down through the center of the esplanade, turning north at the central gate of the palace front, which borders the esplanade on the south side. The wide steps of the gate, filled with Cleopatra’s ladies all dressed in their brightest outfits, resemble a flower garden. The façade is lined with her guards, led by the same charming men who were informed about Caesar's arrival six months earlier in the old palace on the Syrian border. On the north side, Roman soldiers stand guard, with townsfolk on tiptoe behind them, peering over their heads at the cleared esplanade, where the officers stroll around, chatting. Among them are Belzanor and the Persian, along with the Centurion, holding a vinewood club, looking battle-worn, thick-booted, and greatly outshined both socially and decoratively by the Egyptian officers.

Apollodorus makes his way through the townsfolk and calls to the officers from behind the Roman line.

Apollodorus navigates through the locals and shouts to the officers from behind the Roman line.



APOLLODORUS. Hullo! May I pass?

APOLLODORUS. Hey! Can I get by?

CENTURION. Pass Apollodorus the Sicilian there! (The soldiers let him through.)

CENTURION. Let Apollodorus the Sicilian through! (The soldiers let him pass.)

BELZANOR. Is Caesar at hand?

BELZANOR. Is Caesar here?

APOLLODORUS. Not yet. He is still in the market place. I could not stand any more of the roaring of the soldiers! After half an hour of the enthusiasm of an army, one feels the need of a little sea air.

APOLLODORUS. Not yet. He’s still in the marketplace. I couldn’t take any more of the soldiers’ noise! After half an hour of an army’s excitement, you really crave some fresh sea air.

PERSIAN. Tell us the news. Hath he slain the priests?

PERSIAN. Share the news with us. Has he killed the priests?

APOLLODORUS. Not he. They met him in the market place with ashes on their heads and their gods in their hands. They placed the gods at his feet. The only one that was worth looking at was Apis: a miracle of gold and ivory work. By my advice he offered the chief priest two talents for it.

APOLLODORUS. Not him. They found him in the marketplace with ashes on their heads and their gods in their hands. They laid the gods at his feet. The only one that was worth seeing was Apis: a marvel of gold and ivory craftsmanship. Following my suggestion, he offered the chief priest two talents for it.

BELZANOR (appalled). Apis the all-knowing for two talents! What said the chief priest?

BELZANOR (appalled). Apis the all-knowing for two talents! What did the chief priest say?

APOLLODORUS. He invoked the mercy of Apis, and asked for five.

APOLLODORUS. He called upon the mercy of Apis and requested five.

BELZANOR. There will be famine and tempest in the land for this.

BELZANOR. There will be famine and storms in the land because of this.

PERSIAN. Pooh! Why did not Apis cause Caesar to be vanquished by Achillas? Any fresh news from the war, Apollodorus?

PERSIAN. Ugh! Why didn't Apis make Achillas defeat Caesar? Any updates from the war, Apollodorus?

APOLLODORUS. The little King Ptolemy was drowned.

APOLLODORUS. Young King Ptolemy drowned.

BELZANOR. Drowned! How?

BELZANOR. Drowned! How so?

APOLLODORUS. With the rest of them. Caesar attacked them from three sides at once and swept them into the Nile. Ptolemy’s barge sank.

APOLLODORUS. Together with the others, Caesar launched an attack on them from three sides simultaneously and drove them into the Nile. Ptolemy's barge went down.

BELZANOR. A marvelous man, this Caesar! Will he come soon, think you?

BELZANOR. What an amazing guy this Caesar is! Do you think he’ll be here soon?

APOLLODORUS. He was settling the Jewish question when I left.

APOLLODORUS. He was addressing the Jewish issue when I left.

A flourish of trumpets from the north, and commotion among the townsfolk, announces the approach of Caesar.

The sound of trumpets from the north and the buzz among the townspeople signal Caesar's arrival.

PERSIAN. He has made short work of them. Here he comes. (He hurries to his post in front of the Egyptian lines.)

PERSIAN. He's dealt with them quickly. Here he comes. (He rushes to his spot in front of the Egyptian lines.)

BELZANOR (following him). Ho there! Caesar comes.

BELZANOR (following him). Hey! Here comes Caesar.

The soldiers stand at attention, and dress their lines. Apollodorus goes to the Egyptian line.

The soldiers stand straight and align themselves. Apollodorus heads over to the Egyptian line.

CENTURION (hurrying to the gangway guard). Attention there! Caesar comes.

CENTURION (hurrying to the gangway guard). Listen up! Caesar is coming.

Caesar arrives in state with Rufio: Britannus following. The soldiers receive him with enthusiastic shouting.

Caesar arrives in style with Rufio: Britannus following. The soldiers greet him with enthusiastic cheers.

CAESAR. I see my ship awaits me. The hour of Caesar’s farewell to Egypt has arrived. And now, Rufio, what remains to be done before I go?

CAESAR. I see my ship is waiting for me. The time has come for Caesar to say goodbye to Egypt. So, Rufio, what do we need to take care of before I leave?

RUFIO (at his left hand). You have not yet appointed a Roman governor for this province.

RUFIO (at his left hand). You still haven't appointed a Roman governor for this province.

CAESAR (Looking whimsically at him, but speaking with perfect gravity). What say you to Mithridates of Pergamos, my reliever and rescuer, the great son of Eupator?

CAESAR (Looking at him with a playful expression, but speaking seriously). What do you think of Mithridates of Pergamos, my savior and protector, the great son of Eupator?

RUFIO. Why, that you will want him elsewhere. Do you forget that you have some three or four armies to conquer on your way home?

RUFIO. Well, you’ll need him for something else. Don't you remember that you have about three or four armies to defeat on your way back home?

CAESAR. Indeed! Well, what say you to yourself?

CAESAR. Really! So, what do you think about yourself?

RUFIO (incredulously). I! I a governor! What are you dreaming of? Do you not know that I am only the son of a freedman?

RUFIO (incredulously). Me? A governor? What are you thinking? Don't you realize that I'm just the son of a freedman?

CAESAR (affectionately). Has not Caesar called you his son? (Calling to the whole assembly) Peace awhile there; and hear me.

CAESAR (affectionately). Hasn't Caesar called you his son? (Calling to the whole assembly) Hold on, everyone; listen to me.

THE ROMAN SOLDIERS. Hear Caesar.

THE ROMAN SOLDIERS. Listen to Caesar.

CAESAR. Hear the service, quality, rank and name of the Roman governor. By service, Caesar’s shield; by quality, Caesar’s friend; by rank, a Roman soldier. (The Roman soldiers give a triumphant shout.) By name, Rufio. (They shout again.)

CAESAR. Listen to the service, quality, rank, and name of the Roman governor. By service, Caesar’s shield; by quality, Caesar’s friend; by rank, a Roman soldier. (The Roman soldiers give a triumphant shout.) By name, Rufio. (They shout again.)

RUFIO (kissing Caesar’s hand). Ay: I am Caesar’s shield; but of what use shall I be when I am no longer on Caesar’s arm? Well, no matter— (He becomes husky, and turns away to recover himself.)

RUFIO (kissing Caesar’s hand). Yeah: I’m Caesar’s shield; but what good will I be when I’m no longer by Caesar’s side? Well, it doesn’t matter— (He gets choked up and turns away to gather himself.)

CAESAR. Where is that British Islander of mine?

CAESAR. Where is that British guy of mine?

BRITANNUS (coming forward on Caesar’s right hand). Here, Caesar.

BRITANNUS (stepping forward on Caesar’s right side). Here, Caesar.

CAESAR. Who bade you, pray, thrust yourself into the battle of the Delta, uttering the barbarous cries of your native land, and affirming yourself a match for any four of the Egyptians, to whom you applied unseemly epithets?

CAESAR. Who told you to jump into the battle of the Delta, shouting the strange cries of your homeland, and claiming you can take on any four Egyptians, to whom you directed inappropriate insults?

BRITANNUS. Caesar: I ask you to excuse the language that escaped me in the heat of the moment.

BRITANNUS. Caesar: I ask you to forgive the words that slipped out in the heat of the moment.

CAESAR. And how did you, who cannot swim, cross the canal with us when we stormed the camp?

CAESAR. How did you, who can’t swim, manage to cross the canal with us when we attacked the camp?

BRITANNUS. Caesar: I clung to the tail of your horse.

BRITANNUS. Caesar: I held onto the back of your horse.

CAESAR. These are not the deeds of a slave, Britannicus, but of a free man.

CAESAR. These aren't the actions of a slave, Britannicus, but of a free man.

BRITANNUS. Caesar: I was born free.

BRITANNUS. Caesar: I was born free.

CAESAR. But they call you Caesar’s slave.

CAESAR. But they call you Caesar's slave.

BRITANNUS. Only as Caesar’s slave have I found real freedom.

BRITANNUS. I've only experienced true freedom as Caesar's slave.

CAESAR (moved). Well said. Ungrateful that I am, I was about to set you free; but now I will not part from you for a million talents. (He claps him friendly on the shoulder. Britannus, gratified, but a trifle shamefaced, takes his hand and kisses it sheepishly.)

CAESAR (moved). Well said. Ungrateful as I am, I was just about to let you go; but now I won’t part with you for a million talents. (He gives him a friendly pat on the shoulder. Britannus, pleased but slightly embarrassed, takes his hand and kisses it shyly.)

BELZANOR (to the Persian). This Roman knows how to make men serve him.

BELZANOR (to the Persian). This Roman knows how to get people to do his bidding.

PERSIAN. Ay: men too humble to become dangerous rivals to him.

PERSIAN. Oh, they are too modest to pose a real threat to him.

BELZANOR. O subtle one! O cynic!

BELZANOR. Oh, you clever one! Oh, you cynic!

CAESAR (seeing Apollodorus in the Egyptian corner and calling to him). Apollodorus: I leave the art of Egypt in your charge. Remember: Rome loves art and will encourage it ungrudgingly.

CAESAR (seeing Apollodorus in the Egyptian corner and calling to him). Apollodorus: I'm leaving the art of Egypt in your hands. Keep in mind: Rome appreciates art and will support it generously.

APOLLODORUS. I understand, Caesar. Rome will produce no art itself; but it will buy up and take away whatever the other nations produce.

APOLLODORUS. I get it, Caesar. Rome won't create any art on its own; instead, it will purchase and take whatever other countries make.

CAESAR. What! Rome produces no art! Is peace not an art? is war not an art? is government not an art? is civilization not an art? All these we give you in exchange for a few ornaments. You will have the best of the bargain. (Turning to Rufio) And now, what else have I to do before I embark? (Trying to recollect) There is something I cannot remember: what can it be? Well, well: it must remain undone: we must not waste this favorable wind. Farewell, Rufio.

CAESAR. What! Rome has no art! Isn’t peace an art? Isn’t war an art? Isn’t government an art? Isn’t civilization an art? We provide all of these in exchange for a few decorations. You’re definitely getting the better deal. (Turning to Rufio) So, what else do I need to do before I set sail? (Trying to recollect) There’s something I can’t remember: what could it be? Well, well: it’ll just have to stay unfinished: we can’t waste this good wind. Goodbye, Rufio.

RUFIO. Caesar: I am loth to let you go to Rome without your shield. There are too many daggers there.

RUFIO. Caesar: I really don’t want you to go to Rome without your shield. There are too many daggers there.

CAESAR. It matters not: I shall finish my life’s work on my way back; and then I shall have lived long enough. Besides: I have always disliked the idea of dying: I had rather be killed. Farewell.

CAESAR. It doesn't matter: I will complete my life’s work on my way back; and then I will have lived long enough. Besides, I have always hated the idea of dying: I would rather be killed. Goodbye.

RUFIO (with a sigh, raising his hands and giving Caesar up as incorrigible). Farewell. (They shake hands.)

RUFIO (sighing, raising his hands and admitting defeat with Caesar). Goodbye. (They shake hands.)

CAESAR (waving his hand to Apollodorus). Farewell, Apollodorus, and my friends, all of you. Aboard!

CAESAR (waving his hand to Apollodorus). Goodbye, Apollodorus, and to all my friends. Let's go!

The gangway is run out from the quay to the ship. As Caesar moves towards it, Cleopatra, cold and tragic, cunningly dressed in black, without ornaments or decoration of any kind, and thus making a striking figure among the brilliantly dressed bevy of ladies as she passes through it, comes from the palace and stands on the steps. Caesar does not see her until she speaks.

The gangway extends from the dock to the ship. As Caesar approaches, Cleopatra, cold and dramatic, cleverly dressed in black, with no jewelry or decorations, stands out among the brightly dressed group of ladies as she walks through. She comes from the palace and stands on the steps. Caesar doesn’t notice her until she speaks.

CLEOPATRA. Has Cleopatra no part in this leave taking?

CLEOPATRA. Does Cleopatra not have a say in this farewell?

CAESAR (enlightened). Ah, I knew there was something. (To Rufio) How could you let me forget her, Rufio? (Hastening to her) Had I gone without seeing you, I should never have forgiven myself. (He takes her hands, and brings her into the middle of the esplanade. She submits stonily.) Is this mourning for me?

CAESAR (enlightened). Ah, I knew there was something. (To Rufio) How could you let me forget her, Rufio? (Hastening to her) If I had left without seeing you, I would never have forgiven myself. (He takes her hands and brings her into the middle of the esplanade. She submits stonily.) Are you mourning for me?

CLEOPATRA. No.

No.

CAESAR (remorsefully). Ah, that was thoughtless of me! It is for your brother.

CAESAR (regretfully). Ah, that was careless of me! It's for your brother.

CLEOPATRA. No.

CLEOPATRA: No.

CAESAR. For whom, then?

CAESAR. For who, then?

CLEOPATRA. Ask the Roman governor whom you have left us.

CLEOPATRA. Ask the Roman governor you left with us.

CAESAR. Rufio?

Rufio?

CLEOPATRA. Yes: Rufio. (She points at him with deadly scorn.) He who is to rule here in Caesar’s name, in Caesar’s way, according to Caesar’s boasted laws of life.

CLEOPATRA. Yes: Rufio. (She points at him with deadly scorn.) He who is supposed to rule here in Caesar’s name, in Caesar’s style, following Caesar’s so-called laws of life.

CAESAR (dubiously). He is to rule as he can, Cleopatra. He has taken the work upon him, and will do it in his own way.

CAESAR (doubtfully). He is going to rule however he thinks best, Cleopatra. He has taken on the responsibility, and he'll handle it his way.

CLEOPATRA. Not in your way, then?

CLEOPATRA. So, you’re not in my way, then?

CAESAR (puzzled). What do you mean by my way?

CAESAR (confused). What do you mean by my way?

CLEOPATRA. Without punishment. Without revenge. Without judgment.

CLEOPATRA. No punishment. No revenge. No judgment.

CAESAR (approvingly). Ay: that is the right way, the great way, the only possible way in the end. (To Rufio) Believe it, Rufio, if you can.

CAESAR (approvingly). Yes: that’s the right way, the best way, the only possible way in the end. (To Rufio) Believe it, Rufio, if you can.

RUFIO. Why, I believe it, Caesar. You have convinced me of it long ago. But look you. You are sailing for Numidia to-day. Now tell me: if you meet a hungry lion there, you will not punish it for wanting to eat you?

RUFIO. I believe it, Caesar. You've convinced me of that a long time ago. But listen. You're heading to Numidia today. Now tell me: if you come across a hungry lion there, will you punish it for wanting to eat you?

CAESAR (wondering what he is driving at). No.

CAESAR (curious about where he's going with this). No.

RUFIO. Nor revenge upon it the blood of those it has already eaten.

RUFIO. Nor does it seek revenge for the blood of those it has already consumed.

CAESAR. No.

No.

RUFIO. Nor judge it for its guiltiness.

RUFIO. And don’t judge it for its guilt.

CAESAR. No.

No.

RUFIO. What, then, will you do to save your life from it?

RUFIO. So, what are you going to do to save your life from it?

CAESAR (promptly). Kill it, man, without malice, just as it would kill me. What does this parable of the lion mean?

CAESAR (promptly). Kill it, dude, without hatred, just like it would kill me. What does this story about the lion mean?

RUFIO. Why, Cleopatra had a tigress that killed men at bidding. I thought she might bid it kill you some day. Well, had I not been Caesar’s pupil, what pious things might I not have done to that tigress? I might have punished it. I might have revenged Pothinus on it.

RUFIO. Well, Cleopatra had a tigress that would kill men on command. I figured she might ask it to kill you one day. Honestly, if I hadn’t been Caesar’s student, I could have done all sorts of things to that tigress. I could have punished it. I could have gotten revenge for Pothinus on it.

CAESAR (interjects). Pothinus!

CAESAR (interjects). Pothinus!

RUFIO (continuing). I might have judged it. But I put all these follies behind me; and, without malice, only cut its throat. And that is why Cleopatra comes to you in mourning.

RUFIO (continuing). I could have judged it. But I left all these foolish things behind me; and, without any hatred, I just ended it. And that’s why Cleopatra is coming to you in sorrow.

CLEOPATRA (vehemently). He has shed the blood of my servant Ftatateeta. On your head be it as upon his, Caesar, if you hold him free of it.

CLEOPATRA (vehemently). He has killed my servant Ftatateeta. It will be on your conscience just like it is on his, Caesar, if you let him go unpunished.

CAESAR (energetically). On my head be it, then; for it was well done. Rufio: had you set yourself in the seat of the judge, and with hateful ceremonies and appeals to the gods handed that woman over to some hired executioner to be slain before the people in the name of justice, never again would I have touched your hand without a shudder. But this was natural slaying: I feel no horror at it.

CAESAR (energetically). So be it; it was the right thing to do. Rufio: if you had taken the judge's seat and, with disgusting rituals and calls to the gods, handed that woman over to some paid killer to be executed in front of the crowd in the name of justice, I would never have shaken your hand again without feeling sick. But this was an honest kill: I don't feel any disgust about it.

Rufio, satisfied, nods at Cleopatra, mutely inviting her to mark that.

Rufio, pleased, nods at Cleopatra, silently inviting her to take note of that.

CLEOPATRA (pettish and childish in her impotence). No: not when a Roman slays an Egyptian. All the world will now see how unjust and corrupt Caesar is.

CLEOPATRA (petulant and immature in her helplessness). No: not when a Roman kills an Egyptian. The entire world will now witness how unfair and corrupt Caesar is.

CAESAR (taking her handy coaxingly). Come: do not be angry with me. I am sorry for that poor Totateeta. (She laughs in spite of herself.) Aha! you are laughing. Does that mean reconciliation?

CAESAR (taking her hand gently). Come on: don’t be mad at me. I feel bad for that poor Totateeta. (She laughs despite herself.) Aha! You’re laughing. Does that mean we’re on good terms again?

CLEOPATRA (angry with herself for laughing). No, no, NO!! But it is so ridiculous to hear you call her Totateeta.

CLEOPATRA (angry with herself for laughing). No, no, NO!! But it's just so ridiculous to hear you call her Totateeta.

CAESAR. What! As much a child as ever, Cleopatra! Have I not made a woman of you after all?

CAESAR. What! Still just as childish as ever, Cleopatra! Haven't I turned you into a woman after all?

CLEOPATRA. Oh, it is you who are a great baby: you make me seem silly because you will not behave seriously. But you have treated me badly; and I do not forgive you.

CLEOPATRA. Oh, you're the real baby here: you make me look foolish because you won't act seriously. But you've treated me poorly, and I can't forgive you.

CAESAR. Bid me farewell.

CAESAR. Say goodbye to me.

CLEOPATRA. I will not.

CLEOPATRA. I'm not going to.

CAESAR (coaxing). I will send you a beautiful present from Rome.

CAESAR (coaxing). I'll send you an amazing gift from Rome.

CLEOPATRA (proudly). Beauty from Rome to Egypt indeed! What can Rome give me that Egypt cannot give me?

CLEOPATRA (proudly). Beauty from Rome to Egypt for sure! What can Rome offer me that Egypt can’t provide?

APOLLODORUS. That is true, Caesar. If the present is to be really beautiful, I shall have to buy it for you in Alexandria.

APOLLODORUS. That’s true, Caesar. If the present is going to be truly beautiful, I’ll have to buy it for you in Alexandria.

CAESAR. You are forgetting the treasures for which Rome is most famous, my friend. You cannot buy them in Alexandria.

CAESAR. You're forgetting the treasures that make Rome famous, my friend. You can't buy them in Alexandria.

APOLLODORUS. What are they, Caesar?

APOLLODORUS. What are they, Caesar?

CAESAR. Her sons. Come, Cleopatra: forgive me and bid me farewell; and I will send you a man, Roman from head to heel and Roman of the noblest; not old and ripe for the knife; not lean in the arms and cold in the heart; not hiding a bald head under his conqueror’s laurels; not stooped with the weight of the world on his shoulders; but brisk and fresh, strong and young, hoping in the morning, fighting in the day, and reveling in the evening. Will you take such an one in exchange for Caesar?

CAESAR. Her sons. Come on, Cleopatra: forgive me and say goodbye; and I will send you a man, Roman through and through and of the highest nobility; not old and ready for the grave; not scrawny and cold-hearted; not hiding a bald head under his conqueror’s laurel; not weighed down by the burdens of the world; but lively and fresh, strong and young, filled with hope in the morning, fighting during the day, and enjoying life in the evening. Will you accept such a person in exchange for Caesar?

CLEOPATRA (palpitating). His name, his name?

CLEOPATRA (breathless). His name, his name?

CAESAR. Shall it be Mark Antony? (She throws herself in his arms.)

CAESAR. Is it going to be Mark Antony? (She throws herself into his arms.)

RUFIO. You are a bad hand at a bargain, mistress, if you will swap Caesar for Antony.

RUFIO. You're not great at making deals, ma'am, if you're willing to trade Caesar for Antony.

CAESAR. So now you are satisfied.

CAESAR. So you're happy now?

CLEOPATRA. You will not forget.

CLEOPATRA. You won't forget.

CAESAR. I will not forget. Farewell: I do not think we shall meet again. Farewell. (He kisses her on the forehead. She is much affected and begins to sniff. He embarks.)

CAESAR. I won’t forget. Goodbye: I don’t think we’ll see each other again. Goodbye. (He kisses her on the forehead. She is very emotional and starts to cry. He boards the ship.)

THE ROMAN SOLDIERS (as he sets his foot on the gangway). Hail, Caesar; and farewell!

THE ROMAN SOLDIERS (as he steps onto the gangway). Hail, Caesar; and goodbye!

He reaches the ship and returns Rufio’s wave of the hand.

He gets to the ship and waves back at Rufio.

APOLLODORUS (to Cleopatra). No tears, dearest Queen: they stab your servant to the heart. He will return some day.

APOLLODORUS (to Cleopatra). No tears, dear Queen: they stab your servant to the heart. He will come back someday.

CLEOPATRA. I hope not. But I can’t help crying, all the same. (She waves her handkerchief to Caesar; and the ship begins to move.)

CLEOPATRA. I hope not. But I can’t help crying, regardless. (She waves her handkerchief to Caesar; and the ship starts to move.)

THE ROMAN SOLDIERS (drawing their swords and raising them in the air). Hail, Caesar!

THE ROMAN SOLDIERS (drawing their swords and raising them in the air). Hail, Caesar!





NOTES TO CAESAR AND CLEOPATRA

CLEOPATRA’S CURE FOR BALDNESS

For the sake of conciseness in a hurried situation I have made Cleopatra recommend rum. This, I am afraid, is an anachronism: the only real one in the play. To balance it, I give a couple of the remedies she actually believed in. They are quoted by Galen from Cleopatra’s book on Cosmetic.

For the sake of brevity in a rushed situation, I had Cleopatra suggest rum. Unfortunately, this is an anachronism—the only real one in the play. To balance it out, I’ve included a couple of the remedies she actually believed in. They are cited by Galen from Cleopatra’s book on cosmetics.

“For bald patches, powder red sulphuret of arsenic and take it up with oak gum, as much as it will bear. Put on a rag and apply, having soaped the place well first. I have mixed the above with a foam of nitre, and it worked well.”

“For bald patches, mix red arsenic powder with as much oak gum as it can hold. Apply it on a cloth and put it on the area after thoroughly soaping it first. I’ve combined this with a nitre foam, and it worked well.”

Several other receipts follow, ending with: “The following is the best of all, acting for fallen hairs, when applied with oil or pomatum; acts also for falling off of eyelashes or for people getting bald all over. It is wonderful. Of domestic mice burnt, one part; of vine rag burnt, one part; of horse’s teeth burnt, one part; of bear’s grease one; of deer’s marrow one; of reed bark one. To be pounded when dry, and mixed with plenty of honey til it gets the consistency of honey; then the bear’s grease and marrow to be mixed (when melted), the medicine to be put in a brass flask, and the bald part rubbed til it sprouts.”

Several other recipes follow, ending with: “The following is the best of all for treating hair loss when applied with oil or pomade; it also works for losing eyelashes or for people going completely bald. It’s amazing. Use one part of burnt domestic mice, one part of burnt vine rag, one part of burnt horse teeth, one part of bear grease, one part of deer marrow, and one part of reed bark. These should be ground when dry and mixed with plenty of honey until it has the consistency of honey. Then, mix in the melted bear grease and marrow, place the mixture in a brass flask, and rub it on the bald area until hair starts to grow.”

Concerning these ingredients, my fellow-dramatist, Gilbert Murray, who, as a Professor of Greek, has applied to classical antiquity the methods of high scholarship (my own method is pure divination), writes to me as follows: “Some of this I don’t understand, and possibly Galen did not, as he quotes your heroine’s own language. Foam of nitre is, I think, something like soapsuds. Reed bark is an odd expression. It might mean the outside membrane of a reed: I do not know what it ought to be called. In the burnt mice receipt I take that you first mixed the solid powders with honey, and then added the grease. I expect Cleopatra preferred it because in most of the others you have to lacerate the skin, prick it, or rub it till it bleeds. I do not know what vine rag is. I translate literally.”

Regarding these ingredients, my fellow playwright, Gilbert Murray, who, as a Professor of Greek, has applied advanced scholarship methods to classical antiquity (my own approach is purely intuitive), writes to me as follows: “Some of this I don’t understand, and maybe Galen didn’t either, since he quotes your heroine’s own words. Foam of nitre seems to be something like soap suds. Reed bark is a strange term. It might refer to the outer layer of a reed; I’m not sure what it should be called. In the burnt mice recipe, I assume you first mixed the solid powders with honey and then added the grease. I guess Cleopatra preferred it because in most of the other recipes, you have to tear the skin, prick it, or rub it until it bleeds. I’m not sure what vine rag is. I’m translating literally.”

APPARENT ANACHRONISMS

The only way to write a play which shall convey to the general public an impression of antiquity is to make the characters speak blank verse and abstain from reference to steam, telegraphy, or any of the material conditions of their existence. The more ignorant men are, the more convinced are they that their little parish and their little chapel is an apex which civilization and philosophy have painfully struggled up the pyramid of time from a desert of savagery. Savagery, they think, became barbarism; barbarism became ancient civilization; ancient civilization became Pauline Christianity; Pauline Christianity became Roman Catholicism; Roman Catholicism became the Dark Ages; and the Dark Ages were finally enlightened by the Protestant instincts of the English race. The whole process is summed up as Progress with a capital P. And any elderly gentleman of Progressive temperament will testify that the improvement since he was a boy is enormous.

The only way to write a play that gives the audience a sense of ancient times is to have the characters speak in blank verse and avoid mentioning things like steam, telegraphs, or any modern aspects of their lives. The less educated people are, the more they believe that their small community and local church represent the peak of civilization and philosophy's long struggle out of a brutal past. They think savagery led to barbarism; barbarism led to ancient civilization; ancient civilization turned into Pauline Christianity; Pauline Christianity evolved into Roman Catholicism; Roman Catholicism gave way to the Dark Ages; and the Dark Ages were eventually enlightened by the Protestant ideals of the English people. This entire journey is summed up as Progress with a capital P. Any older gentleman with a Progressive mindset will tell you that the improvements since his youth are tremendous.

Now if we count the generations of Progressive elderly gentlemen since, say, Plato, and add together the successive enormous improvements to which each of them has testified, it will strike us at once as an unaccountable fact that the world, instead of having been improved in 67 generations out all recognition, presents, on the whole, a rather less dignified appearance in Ibsen’s Enemy of the People than in Plato’s Republic. And in truth, the period of time covered by history is far too short to allow of any perceptible progress in the popular sense of Evolution of the Human Species. The notion that there has been any such Progress since Caesar’s time (less than 20 centuries) is too absurd for discussion. All the savagery, barbarism, dark ages and the rest of it of which we have any record as existing in the past, exists at the present moment. A British carpenter or stonemason may point out that he gets twice as much money for his labor as his father did in the same trade, and that his suburban house, with its bath, its cottage piano, its drawingroom suite, and its album of photographs, would have shamed the plainness of his grandmother’s. But the descendants of feudal barons, living in squalid lodgings on a salary of fifteen shillings a week instead of in castles on princely revenues, do not congratulate the world on the change. Such changes, in fact, are not to the point. It has been known, as far back as our records go, that man running wild in the woods is different to man kennelled in a city slum; that a dog seems to understand a shepherd better than a hewer of wood and drawer of water can understand an astronomer; and that breeding, gentle nurture and luxurious food and shelter will produce a kind of man with whom the common laborer is socially incompatible. The same thing is true of horses and dogs. Now there is clearly room for great changes in the world by increasing the percentage of individuals who are carefully bred and gently nurtured, even to finally making the most of every man and woman born. But that possibility existed in the days of the Hittites as much as it does to-day. It does not give the slightest real support to the common assumption that the civilized contemporaries of the Hittites were unlike their civilized descendants to-day.

Now, if we look at the generations of progressive elderly gentlemen since, let’s say, Plato, and add up the massive improvements each has witnessed, it’s striking to note that the world, instead of being drastically improved over 67 generations, actually appears somewhat less dignified in Ibsen’s Enemy of the People than in Plato’s Republic. In fact, the span of time covered by history is far too brief to allow for noticeable progress in the popular concept of the Evolution of the Human Species. The idea that there has been any Progress since Caesar’s time (less than 20 centuries ago) is too ridiculous to discuss. All the savagery, barbarism, dark ages, and everything else we can record from the past still exists today. A British carpenter or stonemason might mention that he earns twice as much for his work as his father did in the same trade, and that his suburban home, complete with a bath, a piano, a living room set, and a photo album, would have embarrassed his grandmother's modesty. However, the descendants of feudal barons who now live in shabby lodgings on a weekly salary of fifteen shillings instead of in castles with princely revenues do not celebrate this change. Such changes, in fact, miss the point. It has long been known, as far back as our records go, that a man living freely in the woods is different from a man confined in a city slum; that a dog seems to connect better with a shepherd than a laborer does with an astronomer; and that breeding, gentle upbringing, and ample food and shelter produce a kind of person who is socially incompatible with the average worker. The same holds true for horses and dogs. Clearly, there is potential for significant changes in the world by increasing the number of individuals who are carefully bred and gently nurtured, ultimately striving to maximize the potential of every man and woman born. But that potential existed in the days of the Hittites just as it does today. It doesn’t lend any genuine support to the common assumption that the civilized contemporaries of the Hittites were unlike their civilized descendants today.

This would appear the tritest commonplace if it were not that the ordinary citizen’s ignorance of the past combines with his idealization of the present to mislead and flatter him. Our latest book on the new railway across Asia describes the dulness of the Siberian farmer and the vulgar pursepride of the Siberian man of business without the least consciousness that the sting of contemptuous instances given might have been saved by writing simply “Farmers and provincial plutocrats in Siberia are exactly what they are in England.” The latest professor descanting on the civilization of the Western Empire in the fifth century feels bound to assume, in the teeth of his own researches, that the Christian was one sort of animal and the Pagan another. It might as well be assumed, as indeed it generally is assumed by implication, that a murder committed with a poisoned arrow is different to a murder committed with a Mauser rifle. All such notions are illusions. Go back to the first syllable of recorded time, and there you will find your Christian and your Pagan, your yokel and your poet, helot and hero, Don Quixote and Sancho, Tamino and Papageno, Newton and bushman unable to count eleven, all alive and contemporaneous, and all convinced that they are heirs of all the ages and the privileged recipients of the truth (all others damnable heresies), just as you have them to-day, flourishing in countries each of which is the bravest and best that ever sprang at Heaven’s command from out of the azure main.

This might seem like a cliché if it weren't for how the average person’s ignorance of history mixes with their idealization of the present, leading to both misunderstanding and self-satisfaction. Our latest book on the new railway across Asia talks about the dullness of the Siberian farmer and the crass materialism of the Siberian businessman without realizing that they could have simply stated, “Farmers and wealthy provincials in Siberia are just like those in England.” The newest professor discussing the civilization of the Western Empire in the fifth century feels obligated to assume, despite his own research, that Christians were one type of person while Pagans were another. It could just as easily be assumed—though it usually is by implication—that a murder done with a poisoned arrow is somehow different from one done with a Mauser rifle. All such ideas are illusions. Go back to the very beginning of recorded history, and you’ll find your Christians and Pagans, your country folk and your poets, your serfs and heroes, Don Quixote and Sancho, Tamino and Papageno, Newton and a bushman who can’t count to eleven, all existing at the same time and all convinced they are the inheritors of all ages and the exclusive holders of the truth (with all other beliefs considered damnable heresies), just as you find today, flourishing in countries, each of which considers itself the bravest and best that ever emerged in response to Heaven’s call from the vast ocean.

Again, there is the illusion of “increased command over Nature,” meaning that cotton is cheap and that ten miles of country road on a bicycle have replaced four on foot. But even if man’s increased command over Nature included any increased command over himself (the only sort of command relevant to his evolution into a higher being), the fact remains that it is only by running away from the increased command over Nature to country places where Nature is still in primitive command over Man that he can recover from the effects of the smoke, the stench, the foul air, the overcrowding, the racket, the ugliness, the dirt which the cheap cotton costs us. If manufacturing activity means Progress, the town must be more advanced than the country; and the field laborers and village artizans of to-day must be much less changed from the servants of Job than the proletariat of modern London from the proletariat of Caesar’s Rome. Yet the cockney proletarian is so inferior to the village laborer that it is only by steady recruiting from the country that London is kept alive. This does not seem as if the change since Job’s time were Progress in the popular sense: quite the reverse. The common stock of discoveries in physics has accumulated a little: that is all.

Once again, there’s the illusion of having “greater control over Nature,” which means that cotton is inexpensive and that riding ten miles on a bicycle has replaced walking four. But even if having more control over Nature meant having more control over ourselves (which is the only kind of control that matters for our evolution into a better version of ourselves), the truth is that people can only recover from the negative impacts of the smoke, the smell, the polluted air, the overcrowding, the noise, the ugliness, and the dirt that cheap cotton brings by escaping to rural areas where Nature still has a strong hold over humans. If manufacturing means Progress, then cities must be more advanced than rural areas; and today’s farm workers and village craftsmen should be much less evolved from Job's servants than the modern London working class is from the working class of Caesar’s Rome. Yet, the Cockney worker is so much worse off than the village laborer that it’s only through constant movement from the countryside that London survives. This doesn’t really appear to indicate that the changes since Job’s time are Progress in the popular sense: it’s quite the opposite. The general knowledge of physics has increased a bit; that’s all.

One more illustration. Is the Englishman prepared to admit that the American is his superior as a human being? I ask this question because the scarcity of labor in America relatively to the demand for it has led to a development of machinery there, and a consequent “increase of command over Nature” which makes many of our English methods appear almost medieval to the up-to-date Chicagoan. This means that the American has an advantage over the Englishman of exactly the same nature that the Englishman has over the contemporaries of Cicero. Is the Englishman prepared to draw the same conclusion in both cases? I think not. The American, of course, will draw it cheerfully; but I must then ask him whether, since a modern negro has a greater “command over Nature” than Washington had, we are also to accept the conclusion, involved in his former one, that humanity has progressed from Washington to the fin de siècle negro.

One more example. Is the Englishman ready to acknowledge that the American is superior to him as a human being? I ask this because the shortage of labor in America compared to the demand has led to advancements in machinery there, resulting in a greater “control over nature” that makes many of our English methods seem almost medieval to the modern Chicagoan. This means the American has an edge over the Englishman in exactly the same way the Englishman had over the contemporaries of Cicero. Is the Englishman willing to reach the same conclusion in both instances? I think not. The American, of course, will happily agree; but I then have to ask him whether, since a modern Black person has more “control over nature” than Washington did, we are also to accept the conclusion, implied in his earlier statement, that humanity has progressed from Washington to the fin de siècle Black person.

Finally, I would point out that if life is crowned by its success and devotion in industrial organization and ingenuity, we had better worship the ant and the bee (as moralists urge us to do in our childhood), and humble ourselves before the arrogance of the birds of Aristophanes.

Finally, I want to highlight that if life is defined by success and dedication in industrial organization and creativity, we should admire the ant and the bee (as moralists suggest we do in our childhood) and humble ourselves before the pride of Aristophanes' birds.

My reason then for ignoring the popular conception of Progress in Caesar and Cleopatra is that there is no reason to suppose that any Progress has taken place since their time. But even if I shared the popular delusion, I do not see that I could have made any essential difference in the play. I can only imitate humanity as I know it. Nobody knows whether Shakespear thought that ancient Athenian joiners, weavers, or bellows menders were any different from Elizabethan ones; but it is quite certain that he could not have made them so, unless, indeed, he had played the literary man and made Quince say, not “Is all our company here?” but “Bottom: was not that Socrates that passed us at the Piræus with Glaucon and Polemarchus on his way to the house of Kephalus.” And so on.

My reason for overlooking the common idea of Progress in Caesar and Cleopatra is that there's no reason to think any Progress has happened since then. But even if I believed in this popular misconception, I don't see how I could have changed the play in any significant way. I can only reflect humanity as I understand it. Nobody knows if Shakespeare thought ancient Athenian carpenters, weavers, or bellows makers were any different from Elizabethan ones; but it's clear he couldn't have made them so, unless, of course, he had taken a literary approach and had Quince say, not “Is all our company here?” but “Bottom: wasn't that Socrates we saw at the Piraeus with Glaucon and Polemarchus on his way to Kephalus's house?” And so on.

CLEOPATRA

Cleopatra was only sixteen when Caesar went to Egypt; but in Egypt sixteen is a riper age than it is in England. The childishness I have ascribed to her, as far as it is childishness of character and not lack of experience, is not a matter of years. It may be observed in our own climate at the present day in many women of fifty. It is a mistake to suppose that the difference between wisdom and folly has anything to do with the difference between physical age and physical youth. Some women are younger at seventy than most women at seventeen.

Cleopatra was only sixteen when Caesar arrived in Egypt, but in Egypt, sixteen is more mature than it is in England. The childishness I've attributed to her, as far as it reflects her character and not her lack of experience, isn't just a matter of age. We can see this in our own time, with many women in their fifties displaying the same traits. It’s a misconception to think that the gap between wisdom and foolishness is tied to physical age versus youth. Some women at seventy can be more youthful than the majority of women at seventeen.

It must be borne in mind, too, that Cleopatra was a queen, and was therefore not the typical Greek-cultured, educated Egyptian lady of her time. To represent her by any such type would be as absurd as to represent George IV by a type founded on the attainments of Sir Isaac Newton. It is true that an ordinarily well educated Alexandrian girl of her time would no more have believed bogey stories about the Romans than the daughter of a modern Oxford professor would believe them about the Germans (though, by the way, it is possible to talk great nonsense at Oxford about foreigners when we are at war with them). But I do not feel bound to believe that Cleopatra was well educated. Her father, the illustrious Flute Blower, was not at all a parent of the Oxford professor type. And Cleopatra was a chip of the old block.

It’s important to remember that Cleopatra was a queen, so she wasn’t the typical Greek-educated, cultured Egyptian woman of her time. To portray her that way would be as ridiculous as portraying George IV based on the achievements of Sir Isaac Newton. It’s true that a well-educated girl from Alexandria wouldn’t have believed ghost stories about the Romans any more than a modern-day Oxford professor's daughter would believe them about Germans (although it’s worth noting that people at Oxford can spout a lot of nonsense about foreigners when there’s a war). But I don’t feel obligated to believe that Cleopatra was well educated. Her father, the famous Flute Player, definitely wasn’t the type of parent you’d find in an Oxford professor. And Cleopatra was just like him.

BRITANNUS

I find among those who have read this play in manuscript a strong conviction that an ancient Briton could not possibly have been like a modern one. I see no reason to adopt this curious view. It is true that the Roman and Norman conquests must have for a time disturbed the normal British type produced by the climate. But Britannus, born before these events, represents the unadulterated Briton who fought Caesar and impressed Roman observers much as we should expect the ancestors of Mr. Podsnap to impress the cultivated Italians of their time.

I see that many people who have read this play in draft form strongly believe that an ancient Briton couldn't possibly have resembled a modern one. I don't see any reason to agree with this unusual perspective. It's true that the Roman and Norman conquests likely disrupted the typical British characteristics shaped by the climate for a while. However, Britannus, who was born before these events, represents the pure Briton who fought Caesar and impressed Roman observers much like we would expect the ancestors of Mr. Podsnap to impress the cultured Italians of their era.

I am told that it is not scientific to treat national character as a product of climate. This only shews the wide difference between common knowledge and the intellectual game called science. We have men of exactly the same stock, and speaking the same language, growing in Great Britain, in Ireland, and in America. The result is three of the most distinctly marked nationalities under the sun. Racial characteristics are quite another matter. The difference between a Jew and a Gentile has nothing to do with the difference between an Englishman and a German. The characteristics of Britannus are local characteristics, not race characteristics. In an ancient Briton they would, I take it, be exaggerated, since modern Britain, disforested, drained, urbanified and consequently cosmopolized, is presumably less characteristically British than Caesar’s Britain.

I've been told that it's not scientific to view national character as a product of climate. This just highlights the big gap between common understanding and the intellectual pursuit known as science. We have people from the same background and who speak the same language living in Great Britain, Ireland, and America. The result is three of the most distinct national identities in the world. Racial characteristics are a different issue entirely. The difference between a Jew and a Gentile has nothing to do with the difference between an Englishman and a German. The traits of a Briton are local traits, not racial traits. In an ancient Briton, I would assume, these would be more pronounced, since modern Britain, which has been deforested, drained, urbanized, and therefore cosmopolitan, is likely less characteristically British than it was in Caesar’s time.

And again I ask does anyone who, in the light of a competent knowledge of his own age, has studied history from contemporary documents, believe that 67 generations of promiscuous marriage have made any appreciable difference in the human fauna of these isles? Certainly I do not.

And once again I ask, does anyone who has a solid understanding of their own time and has studied history through contemporary documents really believe that 67 generations of casual marriages have made any significant difference in the human population of these islands? I certainly don't.

JULIUS CAESAR

As to Caesar himself, I have purposely avoided the usual anachronism of going to Caesar’s books, and concluding that the style is the man. That is only true of authors who have the specific literary genius, and have practised long enough to attain complete self-expression in letters. It is not true even on these conditions in an age when literature is conceived as a game of style, and not as a vehicle of self-expression by the author. Now Caesar was an amateur stylist writing books of travel and campaign histories in a style so impersonal that the authenticity of the later volumes is disputed. They reveal some of his qualities just as the Voyage of a Naturalist Round the World reveals some of Darwin’s, without expressing his private personality. An Englishman reading them would say that Caesar was a man of great common sense and good taste, meaning thereby a man without originality or moral courage.

As for Caesar himself, I've intentionally steered clear of the usual mistake of analyzing Caesar’s writings and concluding that his style reflects who he is. That’s only true for authors who possess a specific literary talent and have practiced enough to fully express themselves in writing. Even then, it doesn't hold in a time when literature is seen as a stylistic exercise, rather than a way for the author to express their true self. Caesar was a casual writer crafting travel accounts and campaign histories in such an impersonal style that the authenticity of his later works is questioned. They reveal some of his traits, similar to how the Journal of a Naturalist Around the World shows certain aspects of Darwin, without delving into his personal identity. An English reader might conclude that Caesar was a person of great common sense and good taste, implying that he lacked originality or moral courage.

In exhibiting Caesar as a much more various person than the historian of the Gallic wars, I hope I have not succumbed unconsciously to the dramatic illusion to which all great men owe part of their reputation and some the whole of it. I admit that reputations gained in war are specially questionable. Able civilians taking up the profession of arms, like Caesar and Cromwell, in middle age, have snatched all its laurels from opponent commanders bred to it, apparently because capable persons engaged in military pursuits are so scarce that the existence of two of them at the same time in the same hemisphere is extremely rare. The capacity of any conqueror is therefore more likely than not to be an illusion produced by the incapacity of his adversary. At all events, Caesar might have won his battles without being wiser than Charles XII or Nelson or Joan of Arc, who were, like most modern “self-made” millionaires, half-witted geniuses, enjoying the worship accorded by all races to certain forms of insanity. But Caesar’s victories were only advertisements for an eminence that would never have become popular without them. Caesar is greater off the battle field than on it. Nelson off his quarterdeck was so quaintly out of the question that when his head was injured at the battle of the Nile, and his conduct became for some years openly scandalous, the difference was not important enough to be noticed. It may, however, be said that peace hath her illusory reputations no less than war. And it is certainly true that in civil life mere capacity for work—the power of killing a dozen secretaries under you, so to speak, as a life-or-death courier kills horses—enables men with common ideas and superstitions to distance all competitors in the strife of political ambition. It was this power of work that astonished Cicero as the most prodigious of Caesar’s gifts, as it astonished later observers in Napoleon before it wore him out. How if Caesar were nothing but a Nelson and a Gladstone combined! a prodigy of vitality without any special quality of mind! nay, with ideas that were worn out before he was born, as Nelson’s and Gladstone’s were! I have considered that possibility too, and rejected it. I cannot cite all the stories about Caesar which seem to me to shew that he was genuinely original; but let me at least point out that I have been careful to attribute nothing but originality to him. Originality gives a man an air of frankness, generosity, and magnanimity by enabling him to estimate the value of truth, money, or success in any particular instance quite independently of convention and moral generalization. He therefore will not, in the ordinary Treasury bench fashion, tell a lie which everybody knows to be a lie (and consequently expects him as a matter of good taste to tell). His lies are not found out: they pass for candors. He understands the paradox of money, and gives it away when he can get most for it: in other words, when its value is least, which is just when a common man tries hardest to get it. He knows that the real moment of success is not the moment apparent to the crowd. Hence, in order to produce an impression of complete disinterestedness and magnanimity, he has only to act with entire selfishness; and this is perhaps the only sense in which a man can be said to be naturally great. It is in this sense that I have represented Caesar as great. Having virtue, he has no need of goodness. He is neither forgiving, frank, nor generous, because a man who is too great to resent has nothing to forgive; a man who says things that other people are afraid to say need be no more frank than Bismarck was; and there is no generosity in giving things you do not want to people of whom you intend to make use. This distinction between virtue and goodness is not understood in England: hence the poverty of our drama in heroes. Our stage attempts at them are mere goody-goodies. Goodness, in its popular British sense of self-denial, implies that man is vicious by nature, and that supreme goodness is supreme martyrdom. Not sharing that pious opinion, I have not given countenance to it in any of my plays. In this I follow the precedent of the ancient myths, which represent the hero as vanquishing his enemies, not in fair fight, but with enchanted sword, superequine horse and magical invulnerability, the possession of which, from the vulgar moralistic point of view, robs his exploits of any merit whatever.

In showing Caesar as a much more complex figure than the historian of the Gallic wars portrays, I hope I haven't unknowingly fallen for the dramatic illusion that contributes to the reputation of great men, with some relying entirely on it. I admit that reputations earned in war can be especially questionable. Skilled civilians, like Caesar and Cromwell, who took up arms in middle age, have claimed all the accolades from commanders who were trained for combat, seemingly because capable individuals in military roles are so rare that having two of them in the same hemisphere at the same time is extremely unusual. Thus, the abilities of any conqueror are likely more a result of their enemy's incompetence than their own brilliance. In any case, Caesar could have won his battles without being wiser than Charles XII, Nelson, or Joan of Arc, who, like many modern "self-made" millionaires, were half-crazy geniuses enjoying the admiration given to certain forms of insanity by various cultures. However, Caesar’s victories were merely endorsements for a prominence that wouldn’t have gained popularity without them. Caesar is more significant off the battlefield than on it. Nelson, when not on his ship, was so remarkably out of place that when he suffered a head injury at the Battle of the Nile, and his behavior became openly scandalous for several years, the difference went largely unnoticed. It's worth noting that peace has its own misleading reputations, just as war does. It's certainly true that in civilian life, merely being able to work—the ability to overwhelm a dozen subordinates, like a courier who must take out tired horses—allows people with common ideas and beliefs to outpace competitors in political ambitions. This capacity for hard work astonished Cicero as one of Caesar's most extraordinary gifts, just as it later impressed observers of Napoleon before it ultimately exhausted him. What if Caesar was just a combination of Nelson and Gladstone—a wonder of energy without any unique mental qualities? What if he held ideas that were already outdated before he was even born, just as Nelson’s and Gladstone’s were? I have thought about this possibility and dismissed it. I can’t list all the stories about Caesar that suggest he was genuinely original, but I want to emphasize that I have only attributed originality to him. Originality gives a person an air of honesty, generosity, and nobility by allowing them to evaluate the worth of truth, money, or success in any specific situation without relying on societal conventions and moral generalizations. He won’t, as typical politicians do, tell a lie that everyone recognizes as a lie (and consequently expects him to tell out of good taste). His lies go undetected: they are mistaken for honesty. He understands the paradox of money and gives it away when he can gain the most from it: that is, when its value is lowest, which is exactly when an ordinary person tries hardest to obtain it. He knows that the true moment of success isn’t necessarily the moment seen by the public. Thus, to create an impression of complete selflessness and nobility, he just has to act with total selfishness; and this might be the only way someone can be considered truly great. In this sense, I’ve portrayed Caesar as great. Possessing virtue, he doesn’t need to be good. He isn’t forgiving, honest, or generous because someone who is too great to hold grudges has nothing to forgive; someone who speaks truths that others fear to express doesn’t have to be any more honest than Bismarck was; and there’s no generosity in giving things you don’t want to people you plan to use. This distinction between virtue and goodness isn’t recognized in England, which is why our dramas lack heroes. Our stage representations of them are merely goody-goodies. Goodness, in its popular British sense of selflessness, suggests that man is inherently bad, and that supreme goodness equates to supreme martyrdom. Not subscribing to that pious view, I haven’t supported it in any of my plays. In this regard, I follow the tradition of ancient myths that depict the hero as conquering foes not through fair combat, but with enchanted swords, supernatural horses, and magical invulnerability—all of which, from a conventional moral standpoint, strip his achievements of any true merit.

As to Caesar’s sense of humor, there is no more reason to assume that he lacked it than to assume that he was deaf or blind. It is said that on the occasion of his assassination by a conspiracy of moralists (it is always your moralist who makes assassination a duty, on the scaffold or off it), he defended himself until the good Brutus struck him, when he exclaimed “What! you too, Brutus!” and disdained further fight. If this be true, he must have been an incorrigible comedian. But even if we waive this story, or accept the traditional sentimental interpretation of it, there is still abundant evidence of his lightheartedness and adventurousness. Indeed it is clear from his whole history that what has been called his ambition was an instinct for exploration. He had much more of Columbus and Franklin in him than of Henry V.

As for Caesar’s sense of humor, there’s just as much reason to think he didn’t have one as there is to think he was deaf or blind. It’s said that during his assassination by a group of moralists (it’s always the moralist who turns assassination into a duty, whether on the scaffold or off), he fought back until Brutus hit him, at which point he exclaimed, “What! You too, Brutus!” and refused to fight any longer. If this is true, he must have been a relentless comedian. But even if we disregard this story or accept the usual sentimental take on it, there’s still plenty of evidence showing his lightheartedness and adventurous nature. In fact, it’s clear from his entire history that what some called his ambition was really an instinct for exploration. He had much more of Columbus and Franklin in him than of Henry V.

However, nobody need deny Caesar a share, at least, of the qualities I have attributed to him. All men, much more Julius Caesars, possess all qualities in some degree. The really interesting question is whether I am right in assuming that the way to produce an impression of greatness is by exhibiting a man, not as mortifying his nature by doing his duty, in the manner which our system of putting little men into great positions (not having enough great men in our influential families to go round) forces us to inculcate, but by simply doing what he naturally wants to do. For this raises the question whether our world has not been wrong in its moral theory for the last 2,500 years or so. It must be a constant puzzle to many of us that the Christian era, so excellent in its intentions, should have been practically such a very discreditable episode in the history of the race. I doubt if this is altogether due to the vulgar and sanguinary sensationalism of our religious legends, with their substitution of gross physical torments and public executions for the passion of humanity. Islam, substituting voluptuousness for torment (a merely superficial difference, it is true) has done no better. It may have been the failure of Christianity to emancipate itself from expiatory theories of moral responsibility, guilt, innocence, reward, punishment, and the rest of it, that baffled its intention of changing the world. But these are bound up in all philosophies of creation as opposed to cosmism. They may therefore be regarded as the price we pay for popular religion.

However, no one should deny Caesar a share, at least, of the qualities I’ve attributed to him. All people, especially someone like Julius Caesar, possess various qualities to some extent. The really intriguing question is whether I’m right in thinking that to create an impression of greatness, we should present a person not as someone who detracts from their nature by fulfilling their duty, in the way our system of placing less capable people into important roles (due to a lack of truly great individuals in our influential families) forces us to teach, but simply by doing what they naturally want to do. This raises the question of whether our society has been misguided in its moral theory for the past 2,500 years or so. It must constantly puzzle many of us that the Christian era, which had such good intentions, turned out to be a rather discreditable period in the history of humanity. I wonder if this is entirely due to the crude and bloody sensationalism of our religious tales, which replace the deep emotional struggles of humanity with grotesque physical torments and public executions. Islam, which replaces suffering with sensual pleasure (a somewhat superficial difference, indeed), hasn’t fared much better. It might be the failure of Christianity to break free from the ideas of atonement, moral responsibility, guilt, innocence, reward, punishment, and similar concepts that undermined its goal of changing the world. But these ideas are intrinsic to all philosophies concerning creation as opposed to cosmism. Therefore, they can be seen as the cost we bear for popular religion.










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